UC-NRLF SB MDfl 73b i\ VENISON STYLES THE BEE HUNTER. " That s the ra al stuff: something sides bees bread." Page 49. PUDDLEFORD, AND ITS PEOPLE. BY H. H. RILBY u WITH ILLUSTRATIONS NEW-YORK : SAMUEL HUESTON, 348 BROADWAY. 1854. Entered according to Act of Congress, In the year 1854, ty SAMUEL HUESTON, In the Clerk s Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of New-York. FBINTER AND STEREOTYPES. 95 8s 97 Cliff, cor. Franfcfort. s M A / A; ro MI COUSIN JAMES 1III8 WORK IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED. H. H. B. 8SS307 PREFACE. EYERY body who writes a book is expected to introduce it with a preface ; to hang out a sign, the more captivating the better, inform ing the public what kind of entertainment may be expected within. I am very sorry that I am obliged to say that many a one has been wofully deceived by these outside proclamations, and some one may be again. I am unable to apologise to the public for inflicting this work upon it. It was not through "the entreaty of friends" that it was written. It is not the " outpourings of a delicate constitution." (I weigh one hundred and sixty pounds.) I was not driven into it "by a predestination to write, which was beyond my control." It is not " offered for the benefit of a few near relatives, who have insisted upon seeing it in print," nor do I expect the public will tolerate it simply out of regard to my feelings, if their own feelings are not enlisted in its favor. The book is filled with portraits of Puddleford and the Puddle- fbrdians. The reader may never have seen the portrait of a genuine Puddlefordian. Bless me, how much that man has lost! If the reader does not like the painting after he has seen it, I can not help it ; it may be the fault of the original, or it may be from a want of skill in the painter. Like the carrier-pigeon, let it go, to return with glad tidings, or none at all CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. Page Puddleford Eagle Tavern Mr. and Mrs. Bulliphant May Morning Birds Yenison Styles General Character of Society The Colonel Yenison Styles Cabin. . . .9 CHAPTER II. Law-Suit : Filkins against Beadle Squire Longbow and his Court Puddleford Assembled Why Squire Longbow was a Great Man Ike Turtle and Sile Bates, Pettifoggers Mrs. Sonora Brown Uproar and Legal Opinions Seth Bolles Miss Eunice Grimes Argument to Jury, and Yerdict, . . 24 CHAPTER III. Wanderings in the Wilderness A Bee-Hunt Sunrise The Fox-Squirrel The Blue-Jay The Gopher The Par tridges Wild Geese, Ducks, and Cranes Blackbirds and Meadow-Larks Yenison s Account of the Bees Domestic Economy How Yenison Found what he was in Search of Honey Secured After-Reflections, 42 CHAPTER IV. The Log-Chapel Father Beals Aunt Graves Sister Abi gail Bigelow Yan Slyck, the Preacher His Entree How he Worked One of his Sermons Performance of the Choir Coronation Achieved Getting into Position Personal Appeals Effect on the Congregation Sabbath in the Wilderness Is Bigelow the only Ridiculous Preacher ? 53 VU1 CONTENTS. CHAPTER V. , Paga Indian Summer Yenison Styles again Jim Buzzard Fish ing Excursion Muskrat City Indian Burying-Ground The Pickerel and the Rest of the Fishes The Prairie Wild Geese The Old Mound Venison s Regrets at the Degenerating Times His Luck and Mine Reminiscences of the Beavers Camping Out Safe Return, . .61 CHAPTER VI. Educational Efforts Squire Longbow s Notis The l Sater- day Nite Ike and the Squire Various Remarks to the Point Mrs. Fizzle and the Temperance Question Collec tion Taken General Result, 81 CHAPTER VII. Social War Longbow, Turtle & Co. Bird, Swipes, Beagle & Co. Mrs. Bird Mrs. Beagle Mrs. Swipes Turkey and Aristocracy Scandal Husking-bees, and such like The Calathumpian Band The Horse-Fiddle The Giant Trombone The Gyastacutas Tuning Up Unparalleled Effort Puddleford still a Representative Place, ... 89 CHAPTER VIII. Fuddleford and Politics Higgins against Wiggins The Can didates Personale Their Platforms Delicate Questions Stump-Speaking Wiggins on Higgins Impertinent Inter ruptions Higgins on Wiggins Ike Turtle not Dead yet Commotion Squire Longbow restores Order Grand Stroke of Policy The Roast Ox at Gillett s Corners, ... 98 CHAPTER IX. Winter upon us The Roosters in the Early Morning The Blue- Jays and the Squirrels The Improvident Turkey The Domestic Hearth, and who occupied it The Old Dog The Blessed old Mail-Horse The Newspapers Our Como- to-tea Mrs. Brown, her Arrival and Experiences Entree of Bird, Beagles & Co. Conflicting Elements, and how Ike Turtle assimilated all Gratifying Consequences, . .110 CONTENTS. IX CHAPTER X. Page Mrs. Longbow Taken Sick General Interest Dr. Teazle His Visit The Rattles Scientific Diagnosis A Prescrip tionShort and Dr. Dobbs Pantod of the Heart Dis missal of Teazle Installation of Dobbs Scyller and Cha- ra&z des Ike s Views The Colonel s Bates s Mrs. Longbow dies Who killed her ? Conflicting Opinions Her Funeral Bigelow Van Slyck s Sermon Interment, . 128 CHAPTER XI. Squire Longbow in mourning The Great Question Aunt So- nora s opinion Other People s The Squire goes to Church His Appearance on that occasion Aunt Graves, and her Extra Performance Nux Vomica Anxious Mothers Mary Jane Arabella Swipes Sister Abigail Ike Turtle, and his Designs He calls on Aunt Graves She 11 go it Sister Abigail s objection The Squire s First Love Letter The Wedding Great Getting-up Turtle s Examination The Squire Runs the Risk of the Staterts Bigelow s Ceremony General Break Down Not Very Drunk. . . .136 CHAPTER XII. The Group at the Eagle Entree of a Stranger His opinion of the Tavern Bulliphant wakes up Can t Pick Fowls after Dark Sad Case of Mother Gantlet and Dr. Teazle Mr. Farindale Begins to Unbend Whistle & Sharp, and their At torney Good Pay Legal Conversation Going Sniping Great Description of the Animal The Party Start Farin dale Holding the Bag Waiting for Snipe Farindale s Solitary Return His Interview with Whistle & Sharp Suing a Puddleford Firm Relief Laws Farindale gets his Execu tion The Puddleford Bank The Appraisers Proceeds of the Execution . . 145 CHAPTER XIII. The Fev Nag Conflicting Theories Oxergin and Hydergin 1 Teazle s Rationale The Scourge of the West Sile Bates, X CONTENTS. Page and his Condition Squire Longbow, and Jini Buzzard Puddleford Prostrate Various Practitioners The Billerous Duck Pioneer Martyrs "Wave over Wave. . . .159 CHAPTER XIV. Uncommonly Common Schools Annual School District Meeting Accounts for Contingent Expenses Turtle, and Old Gulick s Boy That are Glass The Colonel starts the wheels again Bulliphant s Tactics Have we hired Dea. Fluett s darter, or not? Izabel Strickett Bunker Hill and Turkey Sah- Jane BeagJes The Question Settled. . .161 CHAPTER XY. Abolition Meeting at Puddleford The late Rev. Mr. Billet Longbow, and his Responsibilities Collision between Bates and the Squire The Log-Chapel filled Bates Opening Remarks Turtle s Interpolations An Open Question Longbow, to the Rescue ! Three Cheers Appointment of a President Mr. Billet His Philosophy of the Institution of Slavery Turtle on Hand What would Billet Do ? Reso lutions Offered by Sile Bates Ike s Amendments Adjourn ment of the Meeting, and Hegira of the Lecturer. . .174 CHAPTER XVI. Some Account of John Smith Nick-Names Progress of the Age The Colonel s Opinion of Science John Smith s Dream Ike Turtle s Dream Ike takes the Boots. . . . 187 CHAPTER XVII. Ike Turtle in his Office The Author Consults him on Point of Law Taxes of Non-Residents Law in Puddleford Mr. Bridget s Case Legal Discussion The Case Settled. . 202 CHAPTER XVIII. The Wilderness around Puddleford The Rivers and the Forests Suggestions of Old Times Foot-prints of the Jesuits - Vine-covered Mounds Visit to the Forest Tfye Early CONTENTS. XI Page Frost The Forest Clock The Woodland Harvest The Last Flowers Nature Sowing her Seed The Squirrel in the Hickory Pigeons, their "Ways and their Haunts The Butter flies and the Bull-frog Nature and her Sermons Her Temple still Open, but the High-priest Gone. . . .209 CHAPTER XIX. The Old New-England Home The Sheltered Village The Ancient Buildings Dormer-Windows An Old Puritanical Home The Old Puritan Church The Burying-Ground Deacon Smith, his Habits and His Helpers Major Simeon Giles, his Mansion and his Ancestry Old Doctor Styles Crapo Jackson, the Sexton Training Days Militia Dig nitaries Major Boles Major General Peabody Prepara tions and Achievements Demolition of an Apple-Cart Shoulder Arms ! Colonel Asher Peabody The Boys, and their World My Last Look at my Native Village. . . 211 CHAPTER XX. And still New-England Sui Generis Her Ruggedness the soil of Liberty The Contrast The New-England Conservative The New-England Man of Business The West has no Past Fast, and Hospitable Saxon Blood and Saxon Spirit. 232 CHAPTER XXI. Spring at the West Sugar Days Performances of the Cattle April Advent of the Blue- Jays and the Crows The Blue-birds, Phebes, and Robins April, and its Inspiring Days The Frogs, and their Concerts Gophers, Squirrels, Ants ; Swallows, Brown-Threshers, and Blackbirds The Swallows, the Martins, and the Advent of May. . . . .242 CHAPTER XXII. A Railroad through Puddleford Effect on Squire Longbow Bright Prospects of Puddleford Change The Styleses The New Justice Aunt Sonora s Opinions Ike Turtle grows, too Venison Disappears from among Men His Grave, and his Epitaph, 252 XU CONTENTS. CONCLUSION. Page The Philosophy of Puddleford Diverse Elements in Pioneer Life Longbow, and his Administration Not Expensive Two Hundred a Tear, all told What would Chief Justice Marshall have Done as Justice at Puddleford ? Longbow a Great Man Fame and Politics Ike, a Wheel Puddleford Theology Camp-Meetings Who do Bigolow s Work Better than Bigelow? Great Happiness, and Few Nerves No Society No Fashion in Clothes, or any thing Else Bull s-Eye and Pinchbeck The Great Trade did n t Come off Abounding Charity and Hospitality Pilgrim Blood Longbow s Planting the Mud- Sills Old Associations, how Controlling ! Good-Bye, Reader. . 256 iu% CHAPTER I. Puddleford Eagle Tavern Mr. and Mrs. Bulliphant May Moru- ning Birds Venison Styles General Character of Society The Colonel Yenison Styles Cabin. THE township of PUDDLEFORD was located in the far west, and was, and is unknown, I presume, to a large portion of my readers. It has never been considered of sufficient im portance by atlas- makers to be designated by them ; and yet men, women, and children live and die in Puddleford. Its population helps make up the census of the United States every ten years ; it helps make governors, congress men, presidents. Puddleford does, and fails to do, a great many things, just like the rest of mankind, and yet, who knows and cares anything about Puddleford ? Puddleford was well enough as a township of land, and beautiful was its scenery. It was spotted with bright, clear lakes, reflecting the trees that stooped over them ; and straight through its centre flowed a majestic river, guarded by hills on either side. The village of Puddleford (there was a village of Puddleford, too) stood huddled in a gorge 1* 10 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. that opened up from the river ; and through it, day and night, a little brook ran tinkling along, making music around the * settlement. -, The houses ia Puddleford were very shabby indeed ; I am very sorry to be compelled to make that fact public, but th ey^ve ro Very sirabby, Some were built of logs, and some of boards, and some were never exactly built at all, but came together through a combination of circum stances which the oldest inhabitant has never been able to explain. The log-houses were just like log-houses in every place else ; for no person has yet been found with impudence enough to suggest an improvement. A pile of logs, laid up and packed in mud ; a mammoth fire-place, with a chimney- throat as large ; a lower story and a garret, connected in one corner by a ladder, called Jacob s ladder, are its essentials. A few very ambitious persons in Puddleford had, it is true, attempted to build frame-houses, but there was never one entirely finished yet. Some of them had erected a frame only, when, their purses having failed, the enterprise was left at the mercy of the storms. Others had covered their frames ; and one citizen, old Squire Longbow, had actually finished off two rooms ; and this, in connection with the office of just ice of the peace, gave him a standing and influence in the settlement almost omnipotent. The reader discovers, of course, that Puddleford was a very miscellaneous-looking place. It appeared unfinished, and ever likely to be. It did really seem that the houses, and cabins, and sheds, and pig-sties, had been sown up and down the gorge, as their owners sowed wheat. The only harmony about the place was the harmony of confusion. Puddleford had a population made up of all sorts of peo ple, who had been, from a variety of causes, thrown together just there ; and every person owned a number of dogs, so that it was very difficult to determine which were numeri- THE PUDDLEFORD PUBLIC-HOUSE. 11 cally the strongest, the inhabitants or the dogs. There were great droves of cows owned, too, which were in the habit of congregating every morning, and marching some miles to a distant marsh to feed to the jingle of the bells they wore on their necks. There was one public-house at Puddleford. It was built of logs, with a long stoop running along its whole front, sup ported by trunks of trees roughly cut from the woods, and bark and knots were preserved in the full strength and sim plicity of nature. Its bar-room was the resort of all the leading men of Puddleford, besides several rago-ed boys and these self-same dogs. It stood in the centre of the village, and announced itself to the public through a sign, upon which were painted a cock crowing and a spread eagle. The bar was fenced off in one corner of the room, and was sup plied with three bottles of whiskey, called, according to their color, brandy, rum, and gin ; but fly-tracks and dust had so completely covered them, that the kind of liquor was deter mined by the pledge of the landlord, that always passed cur rent. There were also about a dozen mouldy crackers laid away on the shelf in a discarded cigar-box, intended more particularly for the travelling public. The walls of the bar room were illuminated by a large menagerie advertisement, which was the only real display of the fine arts that ever entered the place. Upon a table, near the centre of the room, stood a backgammon and checker-board, which were in use from the rising sun to midnight. Pipes, crusted thick with soot, lay scattered about on the window-stools and chim ney-shelf old stubs that had seen service and all over the floor rolled great quids of tobacco, ancient and modern, the creatures of yesterday and years ago ; for the floor of the 4 Eagle Tavern such it was called of Puddleford, was never profaned by a broom, nor its windows with water. He who 12 PUDDDEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. attempted to look out, would have supposed there was an eternal fog in the streets. The ladies parlor, belonging to the Eagle Tavern of Pud- dleford, was a very choice spot, and had been fitted up with out regard to expense. Its floor was covered with a faded rag-carpet, and its walls were enlivened with a shilling print, showing forth Noah s Ark, and the animals entering therein. Any person who had an eye for the practical, could see just how Noah loaded his craft, as the picture brought out clearly a long plank thrown ashore, up which the animals were climbing. I have often thought that I never saw it rain so tremendously as it did in that picture. Near by, hung a six penny likeness of Washington, somewhat defaced, as some irreverent Puddleford boy had run his ringer through the old General s eye, which detracted very much from the dig nity of his expression. He looked rather funny with one eye cocked ; and he felt, I presume that is, if pictures can feel just as funny as he looked. One advantage which the lodging-rooms of this tavern possessed ought not to be overlooked. They were lit up by the everlasting stars, and the tired traveller could go to sleep by the dancing rays that shot clown through the crevices of the roof above. Old Stub Bulliphant, as he was called, was, and had been for years, landlord of the Eagle. He was about five feet high, and nearly as many in circumference. His eyes were of no particular color, although they were once. His eye-lashes had been scorched off by alcoholic fire ; and na ture, to keep up appearances, in a fit of desperation, substi tuted in their stead a binding of red, which looked like two little rainbows hanging upon a storm, for a rheumy water was continually running between them. His nose was very red, and his face was always in blossom, winter and summer. THE FIRST IMPRESSION. 13 A pair of tow breeches and a red flannel shirt composed his wardrobe two thirds of the year. The truth is, the old fel low drank, and always drank, and he became, finally, pre served in spirits. Puddleford was not destitute of a church, not by any means. The log-chapel, when I first became acquainted with the place, was an ancient building. It was erected at a period almost as early as the tavern not quite tempo ral wants pressing the early settlers closer than spiritual. This, precious reader, is a skeleton view of Puddleford, as it existed when I first knew it. Just out of this village, some time during the last ten years, I took possession of a large tract of land, called burr-oak opening, that is, a wide, sweeping plain, thinly clad with burr-oaks. Few sights in nature are more beautiful. The eye roams over these parks unobstructed by undergrowth, the trees above, and the sleep ing shadows on the grass below. The first time I looked upon this future home of mine, it lay calm and bright, bathed in the warm sun of a May morn ing, and filled with birds. The buds were just breaking into leaf, and the air was sweet with the wild-wood fragrance of spring. Piles of mosses, soft as velvet, were scattered about. Wild violets, grouped in clusters, the white and red lupin, the mountain pink, and thousands of other tiny flowers, bright as sparks of fire, mingled in confusion. It was alive with birds: the brown thrasher, the robin, the blue jay poured forth their music to the very top of their lungs. The thrasher, with his brown dress and very quizzical look, abso lutely revelled in a luxury of melody. He mocked all the birds about him. Now he was as good a blue-jay as blue- jay himself, and screamed as loud ; but suddenly bouncing around on a limb, and slowly stretching out his wings, he died away in a most pathetic strain ; then, darting into 14 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. another tree, and turning his saucy eye inquisitively down, he rattled off a chorus or two, that I might know he was not so sad a fellow after all. Now, his soft, flute-like notes fairly melted in his throat; then he drew out a long, violin strain the whole length of his bow; then a blast on his trumpet roused all the birds. He was everything by turns, and nothing long. After completing his performance, away he went, and his place, in a moment almost, was occupied by another, repeating the medley, for the whole wood was alive with them. Scores of blue-jays, in the tops of the trees, were picking away at the tender buds. The robin, that household bird, first loved by our children, was also here. Sitting alone and apart, in a reverie, and blowing occasionally his mellow pipe, he seemed to exist only for his own comfort, and to forget that he was one of the choristers of the wood. Woodpeckers were flitting hither and thither ; troops of quails whistled in the distance ; the oriole streamed out his bright light through the green branches; there was a winnowing of wings, a dashing of leaves, as birds came rushing in and out. It was their festival. This scene was heightened by the appearance of a hunter. He was a noble specimen of the physical man. Tall, brawny a giant in strength his form loomed up in the distance. He was attired with a red flannel wamus, a leathern belt girt around his waist, deer-skin leggins and moccasins, and a white felt hat that run up to a peak. His rifle and shot- pouch were slung around him, and a few fox-squirrels hung dangling on his belt. His whole figure exhibited a harmony of proportion, a majesty of combination, sometimes seen in Roman statues. As I approached him, his face fairly beamed with rustic intelligence and good nature, and the old man grasped me by the hand, and shook it as heartily as if he had known me a thousand years. VENISON STYLES. 15 "So, you are the person, said Venison Styles, for such I afterward learned was the name he went by, in the neigh borhood So, you are the person that s come in here to settle, I s pose to cut down the trees and plough up this ere ground. I told him I was. Well, said he, so it goes ; I have moved and moved, and I can t keep out of the way Df these ploughs and axes. It was just as much as the deer, And beaver, and otter, could do, to stand them govern ment surveyors that went tramping around among em, just AS though they were going to be sold out wher-or-no. And ihen, continued Styles, growing warmer, they tried to form a thing they called a school cfc-strict about my ears ; and then came a church, and they put a little bell on it, and that scart out the game. Game can t stand church-bells, stranger, they can t ; they clears right out. I tried to soothe the old man s feelings, and among other things, advised him to give up his hunting and fishing, and settle down, and till the soil for a living. 4 What in airth does any body want to till the soil, for? replied Styles. What does the soil want tilling for? Warn t the airth made right, in the first place ? The woods were filled with beast and bird, warn t they ? and the whole face of natur covered with grass and wild fruits ? and streams and lakes were scattered every where ? Ain t there enough to eat, and drink, and wear, growing nat ral in the woods; and what else does any body want, stranger ? Yes, but you are growing old, and your sight is dim, my friend, said I. Old! dim ! eyes bad! no! no! Venison Styles is good for twenty years yet. I do n t take physic. There ain t no more use of taking such stuff, than there is of giving it to my dogs. Taint natural to take it, not no how. All a man wants in sickness is a little saxafax-tea, or something warmin 16 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. of that sort. Children are all spi lt now-a-days. Their heads and inards are crammed with physic and laming, and they ain t good for nothing. For my part, I hate physic, books, newspapers, and even the mail-carrier. None of my folks were troubled with laming ; for, as near as I can tell, the old man (his father) died hunting game and furs down on the Hios, when it twas all woods there, and I never know d of his writing or reading any. 1 Well, Venison, said I, how long have you been around in these parts ? * Not mor-nor four or five years, or so about, answered Styles. * The game and I have kept running westard and westard, from civilization, as they call it, till I have travel led nigh on a thousand miles, or so. I used to hunt and trap way down on Erie, before them steamboats came a-snort- ing up, but when they came, they scart all the deer and every thing out of the woods and streams ; and then I left ? too. This rifle, continued Styles, this rifle has been along with me for forty years. I have eat and slept with it. I have- worn out mor-nor twenty dogs fairly worn em out, and buried every one with a tear; and bym-bye old Venison himself will go, but he is good on the track yet. I assented to much that was said by old Styles, and grow ing warmer the more interest I took in him, he rattled on about civilization its effects, &c., &c. ; and, finally, looking into a tree, where a cluster of spring birds were singing, he turned to me, and pointing upward * Do you hear that ? he exclaimed ; that music was made when the world was them throat s warn t tuned by any singing-master ; they always keep in order. If men would only jist let natur alone, we could get along well enough. Taint right to make any additions to natur. Taint right to invent music, nor to mock the birds, nor cut down the woods, nor dam up the streams. WHY I CAME TO PUDDLEFORD. 17 It s all agin natur, the whole on t. The birds ca n t be im proved on, and the streams and woods belong to the fish and game. They are their houses as much as my Ijpuse is my house. I always hated a saw-mill, continued Styles ; its very sound makes me mad. I never know d a deer to stay within hearing of one. They roar away just as though they were going to tear down the whole forest, and pile it up into boards. I always try to keep out of their way. But I cannot give all the conversation of this eccentric genius of the forest, with me. He was one of a class of men who are hurried along by immigration, like clouds before the tempest. When the rays of improvement warmed Styles 4 he had pushed farther back into the shade. He was a connecting link between barbarism and civilization. One half of him was lit up with the light of the sturdy pioneers, who crowded in upon him from the East, and the other half stood dark and gloomy in savage solemnity. With all his antipathy to the society of the whites, he was their staunch friend, and in many ways, was of great service. He became, as we shall see, one of my pleasantest companions, and I cannot help now declaring, that few men have taken such strong hold upon my affections as this same Venison Styles. The old man shouldered his rifle, and inviting me to drop into his cabin, up the creek, bid me * good morning, stran ger. Reader, such was the scene presented to my eye the day I first looked upon the piece of wild land upon which I finally settled and improved. I had just arrived from an Eastern village, where I was born, and * brought up, as the phrase is. A somewhat broken fortune, and breaking health had driven me from it, with a moderate family, to seek a spot elsewhere ; and I resolved to try the Great West, that para dise (if the word of people who never saw it, is to be taken) 18 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. where the surplus population of a portion of the world have found a home. The change was great. But great as it was, I resolved to endure it. So, at it I went. I procured help, girdled the trees, put a breaking team of twelve yoke of cattle on the ground, tore it up, fenced the land, raised a log-house, and in the fall I had a crop of wheat growing, the withered oak- trees standing guard over it. My family, consisting of a wife and three children, a boy of eight, and two girls of twelve and ten, were removed to their new quarters, and I had thus fairly begun the world again, and all things were as new about me as if I had just been born into it. During the summer, I had an opportunity of studying the general character of the inhabitants of Puddleford, and its surrounding country population. Like most western settle ments, it was made up of all kinds of materials, all sorts of folks, holding every opinion. More than a dozen States had contributed to make up its people. Society was ex ceedingly miscellaneous. The keen Yankee, the obstinate* Pennsylvanian, and the reckless Southerner were there. Each one of these persons had brought along with him his early habits, and associations his own views of business law, and religion. When thrown together on public ques tions, this composition boiled up like a mixture of salts and soda. Factions, of course, were formed among those, whose early education and habits were congenial ; divisions were created, and a war of prejudice and opinion went on from month to month, and year to year. The New-England Yan kee stood about ten years ahead of the Pennsylvania Ger man, in all his ideas of progress, while the latter stood back, dogged and sullen, attached to the customs of his fathers. Another general feature consisted in this, that there was no permanency to society. The inhabitants were constantly THE POPULATION OF PUDDLEFORD. 19 changing, pouring out and in, like the waters of a river ; so that a complete revolution took place every four or five years. Every body who remained in Puddleford expected to remove some where else very soon. They were merely sojourners, not residents. There was no attachment to, or veneration for, the past of Puddleford, because Puddleford had no past. The ties of memory reached to older States. There stood the church that sheltered the infant years of Puddleford s population, and there swung the bell that tolled their fathers and fathers fathers to the tomb. There was the long line of graves, runing back a hundred years, where the sister of yes terday, and the ancestor whose virtues were only known throuo-h tradition, were buried. There tottered the old o homestead which had passed through the family for genera tions, filled with heir-looms that had become sacred. The school-house was there, where the village boys shouted together. Looking back from a new country, where all is confusion, to an old one, where figures have the stability of a painting, objects which were once trivial start out upon the canvass in bolder relief. The venerable, gray-headed pastor, who appeared regularly in the village pulpit, for half a century, to impart the word of life, rises in the memory, and stands fixed there, like a statue. The quaint cut of his coat, the neat tie of hh neck-cloth, -the spectacles resting on the tip of his nose, his hums and haws, his eye of reproof, his gestures of vengeance, are now living things are preach, ing still. We see again the changing crowd, that year after year, went in and out of that holy place ; the spot where the old deacon sat, his head resting on a pillar, his tranquil face turned upward, his mouth open, enjoying a doze as he listened to the sermon: We recollect the gay bridal, the solemn funeral, the buoyant face of the one, the still cold one of the other. We even remember the lame old sexton, who 20 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. rang the bell, and went limping- up to the burying ground, with a spade upon his shoulder. Even he, of no consequence when seen every day, is transformed by distance, and mel lowed by memory into a real being. And then there are the hills and streams, and waterfalls, that shed their music through our boyish souls, until they became a part of our very exist ence. No man ever lived who entirely forgot these things, suppressed though they might be, by the cares and anxieties of maturer years. And no circumstance so likely to bring them all up, glowing afresh, as a removal to a new country. Of course, no one was attached to Puddleford, as a locality, any more than the wandering Arab is attached to the par ticular spot where^he pitches his tent and feeds his camels. Another general feature seemed to be the strange charac ter of a large part of the population. Puddleford was filled with bankrupts, who had fled from their eastern creditors, anxious for peace of mind and bread enough to eat. Like decayed vessels, that had been tempest-tossed and finally condemned, these hulks seemed to be lying up in ordinary in the wilderness. Puddleford was to that class a kind of hospital. This man, upon inquiry, I found had rolled in luxury, but a turn in flour one day blew him sky-high. Another failed on a land speculation. Another bought more goods than he paid for. Another had been mixed up in a fraud. Another had been actually guilty of crime. The farming community were generally free from these charges ; but Puddleford proper was not. The * Colonel, as we called him, was a fair specimen of the bankrupt class. He was one of those unfortunate beings who was well enough started in the world ; but after having been tossed and buffeted around by his own extravagance, he was finally driven into the forest. He was educated, po lished, proud, and poor. He had sunk two or three fortunes, THE COLONEL. 21 earned by somebody else, chasing pleasure around the world. His reputation having become soiled, and his pockets emp tied, he concluded, to use his own language, to * hide him self from his enemies and die a kind of civil death. Men, said the Colonel, * are naturally robbers, and it is safer to rim than fight with them. I have heard him declare, in a jo cose way, that he was the most injured man living; for the whole human family, he said, set to and picked his pockets, and now the public ought to support him. He said, he could n t see why the government did n t pass laws for the relief of cases like his ; for a government is good for nothing that fails to support its people. Starvation in a republic would be a disgrace, and ought not to be permitted. The Colonel said there was no use in fighting destiny no one man can do it and it was his destiny to be poor. He said he had no place to remove to, and that he could n t get there if he had ; that he was like an old pump that needs a pail of "water thrown in every time it is used to set it a-going. The Colonel resided in the village of Puddleford. His fami ly was composed of a wife and two daughters, a couple of dashing girls, who looked like birds of fine plumage that had been driven by a storm beyond their latitude. His house hold furniture was made up of the fag-ends of this and that, which had somehow escaped a half-a-dozen sheriff s sales. His family wardrobe had been rescued in the same . way, and contained all the fashions of the last twenty-five years. Here and there were scattered some plain articles of western manufacture, by way of contrast. Three-shilling chairs stood on a faded Brussels carpet ; an unpainted white- wood table supported a silver tea-set : thus, the faded splen dor of the past contrasted with the rustic simplicity of the present. One thing I must not overlook : the Colonel had 22 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. an old tattered carriage that had followed him through good and evil report, his ups and downs of life. I have often been amused to see it roll along with a melancholy air of superi ority, putting on the face of a good man in affliction. It. was drawn by two diminutive Indian ponies, who would turn and look wildly at the antiquated thing, as if apprehensive of danger. The Colonel kept an office, and pretended to act as a kind of land-agent, and agent for insurance companies, and so on. He was never known to pay a debt ; it being against his principles, as he used to say : besides, he said, his note would last a man ten times as long as the money ; and they were not very uncurrent neither ; for the justice of the peace at Puddleford had taken a very great many of them, and passed his judgment upon them for their full face. But I will not go into particulars with the Puddlefordians at present. During the summer my acquaintance with Venison Styles had ripened into a deeper affection for the old hunter. I accepted his invitation to visit him, and found him sheltered in the depths of the forest, and nestled in a valley, his hut overshadowed by great trees, which were filled with birds pouring forth their songs. A little brook tinkled down the slope by his hut, singing all kinds of wood land tunes, as the breeze swelled and died along its banks. The squirrels were chatting their nonsense, and the rolling drum of the partridge was heard almost at his very door. Venison ,was a hunter, a fisher, and a trapper. The inside walls of his cabin were hung about with rifles, shot-guns, and fishing-rods, which had been accumulating for years. Deer-horns and skins lay scattered here and there, the tro phies of the chase. Seines for lakes, and scoop-nets for smaller streams, were drying outside upon the trees, Venison kept around him a brood of lazy, lounging, VENISON S BOYS. 23 good-for-nothing boys, of all ages, about half-clothed, who followed the business of their father. This young stock were growing up as he had grown, to occupy somewhere their father s position, and lead his life. They lived just as well as the hounds, for all stood on an equality in the family. These ragamuffins were perfect masters of natural history. There was not an instinct or peculiarity belonging to the denizens of the woods and streams which they did not per fectly understand. They seemed to have penetrated the se crecy of animal life, and fathomed it throughout. Birds, and beasts, and fish were completely within their power ; and there was a kind of matter-of-course success with them in their capture that was absolutely provoking to a civilized hunter. 24 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER II. * Law-suit : Filkins against Beadle Squire Longbow and his Court Puddleford assembled Why Squire Longbow was a Great Man Ike Turtle and Sile Bates, Pettifoggers Mrs. Sonora Brown Uproar and Legal Opinions Seth Bolles Miss Eunice Grimes Argument to Jury, and Verdict. MY intercourse with the inhabitants of Puddleford had bee$ frequent during the summer, and my acquaintance with them had now become quite general. One morning, in the month of September, I was visited by a constable, who very authoritatively served upon me a venire, which commanded me to be and appear before Jonathan Longbow, at his office in the village of Puddleford, at one o clock P. M., to serve as a juryman in a case then and there to be tried, between Philista Filkins, plaintiff, and Charity Beadle, defendant, in an action of slander, etc. The constable remarked, after read ing this threatening legal epistle to me, that I had better be up to time, as Squire Longbow was a man who would not be trifled with, and then leisurely folding it up, and pushing it deep down in his vest-pocket, he mounted his horse, and hurried away in pursuit of the balance of the panel. Of course, I could not think of being guilty of a contempt of court, after having been so solemnly warned of the conse quences, and I was therefore promptly on the spot according to command. Squire Longbow held his court at the public-house, in a room adjoining the bar-room, because the statute prohibited his holding it in the bar-room itself. He was a law-abiding THE GREAT LAW-SUIT. 25 man, and would not violate a statute. I found on my ar rival that the whole country, for miles around, had assembled to hear this interesting case. Men, women, and children had turned out, and made a perfect holiday of it. All were attired in their best. The men were dressed in every kind of fashion, or, rather, all the fashions of the last twenty years were scattered through the crowd. Small-crown, steeple- crown, low-crown, wide-brim, and narrow-brim hats ; wide- tail, stub-tail, and swallow-tail, high-collar, and low-collar coats ; bagging and shrunken breeches ; every size and shape of shirt-collar were there, all brought in by the settlers when they immigrated. The women had attempted to ape the fashions of the past. Some of them had mounted a bustle about the size of a bag of bran, and were waddling along under their load with great satisfaction. Some of the less ambitious were reduced to a mere bunch of calico. One man, I noticed, carried upon his head an old-fashioned, bell- crowned hat, with a half-inch brim, a shirt-collar running up tight under his ears, tight enough to lift him from the ground, (this ran out in front of his face to a peak, serving as a kind of cutwater to his nose,) a faded blue coat of the genuine swallow-tail breed, a pair of narrow-fall breeches that had passed so often through the wash-tub, and were so shrunken, that they appeared to have been strained on over his limbs : this individual, reader, was walking about, with his hands in his pockets, perfectly satisfied, whistling Yankee Doodle and other patriotic airs. Most of the women had something frizzled around their shoes, which were called pan talettes, giving their extremities the appearance of the legs of so many bantam hens. The men were amusing themselves pitching coppers and quoits, running horses, and betting upon the result of the 26 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. trial to come off, as every one was expected to form some opinion of the merits of the case. The landlord of the Eagle was of course very busy. He bustled about, here and there, making the necessary prepara tions. Several pigs and chickens had gone the way of all flesh, and were baking and stewing for the table. About once a quarter Old Stub moistened his clay, as he called it, with a little rye, so as to keep his blood a-stirring. Mrs. * Stub Bulliphant was busy too. She was a perfect whirl wind ; her temper was made of tartaric acid. . Her voice might be heard above the confusion around, giving direc tions to one, and a piece of her mind to another. She was the landlady of the Eagle beyond all doubt, and rio one else. Better die than doubt that. 1 Bulliphant ! screamed she, at the top of her lungs, Bul liphant, you great lout, you ! what in the name of massy- sakes are you about 1 No fire ! no wood ! no water in ! How, in all created natur, do you s pose a woman can get dinner ? Furiation alive, why do n t you speak ? Sally Ann ! I say, Sally Ann! come right here this minute ! Go down cellar, and get a junk of butter, some milk, and then I say, Sally Ann ! do you hear me, Sally Ann ? go out to the barn and run ! run ! you careless hussy, to the store ! the pot s boiling over ! And so the old woman s tongue ran on hour after hour. At a little past one, the court was convened. A board placed upon two barrels across the corner of the room, con stituted the desk of Squire Longbow, behind which his ho nor s solitary dignity was caged. Pettifoggers and spectators sat outside. This was very proper, as Squire Longbow was a great man, and some mark of distinction was due. Per mit me to describe him. He was a little, pot-bellied person, SQUIRE LONGBOW. 27 with a round face, bald head, swelled nose, and had only one eye, the remains of the other being concealed with a green shade. He carried a dignity about him that was really op pressive to by-standers. He was the end of the law in Paddleford; and no man could sustain a reputation who presumed to appeal from his decisions. He settled accounts, difficulties of all sorts, and even established land-titles ; but of all things, he prided himself upon his knowledge of con stitutional questions. The Squire always maintained that hard-drinking was agin the Constitution of the United States, * and so, he said, Judge Story once informed him by letter, when he applied to him for aid in solving this question. * There is no such thing as slander, the Squire used to say, and so he had always decided, as every person who lied about another, knew he ought not to be believed, because he was lying, and therefore the * quar-animerj as the books say, is wanting. (This looked rather bad for * Fil- kinV case.) Sometimes Squire Longbow rendered judg ments, sometimes decrees, and sometimes he divided the cause between both parties. The Squire said he never could submit to the letter of the law ; it was agin personal liberty ; and so Judge Story decided. Pre-ce-dents, as they were called, he Avould n t mind, not even his own ; because then there would n t be any room left for a man to change his mind. If, said the Squire, for instance, I fine Pet. Sykes to-day, for knocking down Job Bluff, that is no reason why I should fine Job Bluff to-morrow for knocking down Pet. Sykes, because they are entirely different persons. Human natur ain t the same. Contempt of Court, the Squire often declared, was the worst of all offences. He did n t care so much about what might be said agin Jonathan Long bow, but Squire Longbow, Justice of the Peace, must and should be protected ; and it was upon this principle that 28 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. he fined Phil. Beardsley ten dollars for contradicting him in the street. Generally, the Squire says, * he renders judgment for the plaintiff, because he never issues a process without hear ing liis story, and determining the merits. And do n t the plaintiff know more about his rights than all the witnesses in the world ? And even where he has a jury, the Squire says, that it is his duty to apply the law to the facts, and the facts to the law, so that they may avoid any illegal verdict. The Court, as I said, was convened. The Squire took his seat, opened his docket, and lit his pipe. He then called the parties : Philista Filkins ! Charity Beadle ! Here, - cried a back-woods pettifogger, * I m for Philista Filkins ; am always on hand at the tap of the drum, like a thousand of brick. This man was a character; a pure specimen of a live west ern pettifogger. He was called Ike Turtle. He was of the snapping-turtle breed. He wore a white wool-hat; a ban dana cotton-handkerchief around his neck ; a horse-blanket vest, with large horn-buttons ; and corduroy pantaloons ; and he carried a bull s-eye watch, from which swung four or five chains across his breast. Who answers for Chanty Beadle ? continued the Squire. I answer for myself, squeaked out Charity ; I hain t got any counsel, cause he s on the jury. On the jury, ha ! Your counsel s on the jury ! Sila Bates, I suppose. Counsel is guaranteed by the Constitution it s a personal right let Sile act as your counsel, then. And so Sile stepped out in the capacity of counsel. Charity Beadle ! exclaimed the Squire, drawing out his pipe and laying it on his desk, * stand up and raise your right hand ! FILKINS V. BEADLE. 29 Charity arose. * You are charged with slandering Philista Filkins, with saying She warn t no better than she ought to be ; and if you were believed when you said so, it is my duty, as a peace- officer, to say to you that you have been guilty of a high of fence, and may the LORD have mercy on your soul. What do you say ? * Not guilty, Squire Longbow, by an eternal sight, and told the truth, if we are, replied Bates. Beside, we plead a set-off. 4 1 say t is false ! you are ! cried Philista, at the top of her lungs. Silence! roared Longbow: the dignity of this court shall be preserved. * Easy, Squire, a little easy, grumbled a voice in the crowd, proceeding from one of Philista s friends ; never speak to a woman in a passion. I fine that man one dollar for contempt of court, whoever he is ! exclaimed the Squire, as he stood upon tip-toe, trying to catch the offender with his eye. I guess t warn t nothing but the wind, said Bates. The Squire took his seat, put his pipe in his mouth, and blew out a long whiff of smoke. Order being restored, let the case now proceed, he ex claimed. Ike opened his case to the jury. He said Philista Filkins was a maiden lady of about forty ; some called her an old maid, but that warn t so, not by several years ; her teeth were as sound as a nut, and her hair as black as a crow. She was a nurse, and had probably given more lobelia, pen nyroyal, catnip, and other roots and herbs, to the people of Puddleford, than all the rest of the women in it. Of course she was a kind of peramrulary being. (The Squire here in- 30 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. formed the jury that peramrulary was a legal word, which he would fully explain in his charge.) That is, she was obliged to be out a great deal, night and day, and in conse quence thereof, Charity Beadle had slandered her, and com pletely ruined her reputation, and broken up her business to the damage of ten dollars. Bates told the Court that he had * no jurisdiction in an action of slander. Longbow advised Bates not to repeat the remark, as that was a kind of contempt. Some time had elapsed in settling preliminaries, and at last the cause was ready. We call Sonora Brown ! * roared out Ike, at the top of his lungs. No, you do n t, replied the Squire. This Court is ad journed for fifteen minutes ; all who need refreshment will find it at the bar in the next room; but do n t bring it in here ; it might be agin the statute. And so the Court adjourned for fifteen minutes. There was a rush to the bar-room, and old Stub Bulli- phant rolled around among his whiskey-bottles like a ship in a storm. Almost every person drank some, judging from the remarks, to wet their whistle ; others, to keep their stomach easy ; some * to Filkins ; others to Beadle, etc., etc. Court was at last convened again. * Sonora Brown ! roared Ike again. Object ! exclaimed Sile ; * no witness ; hain t lived six months in the State. Squire Longbow slowly drew his pipe from his mouth, and fixed his eyes on the floor fn deep thought for several minutes : Hain t lived six months in the State, repeated he, at last; * ain t no resident, of course, under our Constitution. SILE BATES. 31 And how, in all created airth, would you punish such a person for perjury ? I should just like to know, continued Sile, taking courage from the Squire s perplexed state of mind ; our laws do n t bind residents of other States. But it is n t certain Mrs. Brown will lie, because she is a non-resident, added the Squire, cheering up a little. Well ! very well, then, said Sile, ramming both hands into his breeches-pockets very philosophically ; go ahead, if you wish, subject to my objection. I 11 just appeal, and blow this Court into fiddle-strings ! This cause won t breathe three times in the Circuit! We won t be rode over; we know our rights, I just kirulec rather think. Go it, Sile ! cried a voice from the crowd; stand up to your rights, if you bust ! Silence ! exclaimed Squire Longbow. Ike had sat very quietly, inasmuch as the Squire had been leanino- in his favor ; but Sile s last remark somewhat intimi- O dated his honor. May it please your honor, said Ike, rising ; we claim that there is no proof of Mrs. Brown s residency ; your honor hain t got nothing but Sile Bates s say so, and what s that good for in a court of justice ? I would n t believe him as far as you could swing a cat by the tail.* I m with you on that, cried another voice. Silence ! put that man out ! roared Longbow again. But just as Ike was sitting down, an ink-stand was hurled at him by Sile, which struck him on his shoulder, and scat tered its contents over the crowd. Several missiles flew back and forth ; the Squire leaped over his table, crying out at the top of his lungs : In the name of the people of the State of ,1, Jonathan Longbow, Justice of the Peace, duly elected and qualified, do command you. 32 PUDDLEFORD AND T TS PEOPLE. When, at last, order was restored, the counsel took their seats, and the Squire retired into his box again. Sonora Brown was then called for the third time. She was an old lady, with a pinched-up black bonnet, a very wide ruffle to her cap, through which the gray hairs strayed. She sighed frequently and heavily. She said she didn t know as she knew * any thing worth telling on. She did n t know any thing about law-suits, and did n t know how to swear. After running on with a long preliminary about her self, growing warmer and warmer, the old lady came to the case under much excitement. She said she never did see such works in all her born days. Just because Charity Bea dle s?.id * Philista Filkins warnt no better than she ought to be, thft ie was such a hullabalu and kick-up, enough to set all nattf/ crazy ! Wny la ! sus me ! continued she, turning round to the Squire, do you think this such a dre ful thing, that all the whole town has got to be set together by the ears about it ? Mucle-ra-tion ! what a hum-drum and flurry ! And then the old lady stopped and- took a pinch of snuf? i and pushed it up very hard and quick into her nose. Ike requested Mrs. Brown not to talk so fast, and onlj answer such questions as he put to her. Well, now, that s nice, she continued. Warn t I sworn or was t you ? and to tell the truth, too, and the ivhole truth* I warn t sworn to answer your questions. Why, may-be you do n t know, Mr. Pettifogger, that there are folks in State s- prison now for lying in a Court of Justice? Squire Longbow interfered, and stated that he must say that things were going on very ( promis cusly, quite agin the peace and dignity of the State. Jest so I think myself, added Mrs. Brown. This place is like a town- meeting, for all the world. THE JUSTICE S COURT OF PUDIJLKKOKI). The testimony of Sonora Brown, the witness who " didn t know tiny lliinjr worth tellii. an.l wlio " varn t used to law suits, and did nt know liow to swear.". . . -Page V2. IKE TURTLE. 33 * Mrs. So-wo-ra Brown ! exclaimed Ike, rising on his feet, a little enraged, * do you know any thing about what Charity Beadle said about Philista Filkins ? Answer this question. Whew! fiddle-de-dee! highty-tighty ! so you have really broke loose, Mr. Pettifogger, for now the old lady s temper was up. Why, did n t you know I was old enough to be your grandmother ? Why, rny boy, continued she, hurry ing on her spectacles, and taking a long look at Ike, I know d your mother when she made cakes and pies down in the c/arseys ; and you when you warn t more than so high ; and she measured about two feet high from the floor. You want me to answer, do you ? I told you all I know d about it ; and if you want any thing more, I guess you 11 have to get it, that J s all ; and, jumping up, she left the witness- stand, and disappeared in the crowd. I demand an attachment for Sonora Brown ! roared out lice, an absconding witness ! Can t do it, replied the Squire ; it s agin the Constitu tion to deprive any body of their liberty an unreasonable length of time. This witness has now been confine4 here by process of law morn-a-nour. Can t do it ! Be guilty of trespass ! Must stick to the Constitution. Call your next witness. Ike swore. The Squire fined him one dollar. He swore again. The Squire fined him another. The faster the Squire fined, the faster the oaths rolled out of Ike s mouth, until the Squire had entered ten dollars against him. Ike swore again, and the Squire was about to record the eleventh dol lar, but Ike checked him. Hold on ! hold on ! you old reprobate ! now I ve got you ! now you are mine ! exclaimed he. You are up to the limit of the law ! You cannot inflict only ten dollars in fines in any one case ! Now stand and take it ! 2* 34 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. And such a volley of oaths, cant phrases, humor, wrath, sarcasm, and fun, sometimes addressed to the Squire, some times to the audience, and sometimes to his client, never rolled out of any other man s mouth since the flood. He commenced with the history of the Squire, when, as he said, he was a rafting lumber down on the SusqueAarmas ; and he followed him up from that time. * He could tell the rea son why he came west, but would n t. He commented on his personal appearance, and his capacity for the office of Justice. He told him he had n t only one eye, any way, and he could n t be expected to see a great way into a mill stone ; and he did n t believe he had as many brains as an ister. For his part, he knew the law ; he had ransacked every part of the statute, as a glutton would Noah s Ark for the remnant of an eel ; he had digested it from Dan to Beer- sheba ; swallowed every thing but the title-page and cover, and would have swallowed that if he warn t mortal ; he was a living, moving law himself; when he said law was law, T WAS law ; better peal any thing up from predestination than from his opinion ! he would follow this case to the back side of sun-down for his rights. During all this time, there was a complete uproar. Phi- lista s friends cheered and hurrahed ; the dogs in the room set up their barking ; Beadle s friends groaned, and squealed, and bellowed, and whimpered, and imitated all the domestic animals of the day, while the Squire was trying at the top of his lungs to compel the constable to commit Ike for con tempt. Ike closed and sat down. The Squire called for the con stable, but he was not to be found. One man told him that he was in the next room pitching coppers ; another, that the last time he saw him * he was running very fast ; anoth er, that he rather guessed he d be back some time another, SETII BOLLES. 35 if he ever was, because he was a sworn officer ; another nsked the Squire what he d give to have him catched?"* but no constable appeared ; he had put himself out the way to escape the storm. A long silence followed this outburst; not a word was said, and scarcely a noise heard. Every one was eagerly looking at the Squire for his next movement. Ike kept his eyes on the floor, apparently in a deep study. At last he arose : Squire, said he, we ve been under something of a press of steam for the last half our : I move we adjourn fifteen minutes for a drink. Done, answered the Squire ; and so the Court adjourned for a second time. It was now nearly dark, when the Court convened again. The trial of the cause, Filkins vs. Beadle, was resumed. Seth Bolles was called. Seth was a broad-backed, double- fisted fellow, with a blazing red face, and he chewed tobacco continually. He was about two-thirds over the bay, and did n t care for all the Filkinses or Beadles in the world. Know Filkins and Beadle ? inquired Ike. * Know em ? thunder, yes. How long ? * Ever sin the year one. Ever heard Beadle say any thing about Filkins ? Heard her say she thought she run d too much arter Elik Timberlake. Any thing, Seth, about Filkins character ? Now what do you spose I know about Filkins charac ter ? Much as I can do to look arter my own wimrnin. But have you heard Beadle say any thing about Filkins character ? Heard her say once she was a good enough- er-sort-a body when she was a-mind-er-be. 36 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Any thing else ? * Shan t answer ; hain t had my regular fees paid as wit ness. Squire Longbow informed Seth that he must answer. Shan t do it, not so long as my name is Bolles. The Squire said he would commit him. * W-h-e-w ! drawled out Bolles, stooping down, and put ting his arms a-kimbo, as he gave the Squire a long look straight in the eye. Order ! order ! exclaimed the Squire. Whew ! whew ! whew wo-wo-uo ! who s afraid of a Just ice of the Peace ? screamed Seth, jumping up about a foot, and squirting out a gill of tobacco-juice, as he struck the floor Seth s fees were paid him, at last, and the question was again put, if he heard Beadle say any thing else? and he said l He never did ; and thus ended Seth s testimony. Miss Eunice Grimes was next called. She came sailing forward, and threw herself into the chair with a kind of jerk She took a few side-long glances at Charity Beadle, which told, plainly enough, that she meant to make a finish of her in about five minutes. She was a vinegar-faced old rnaid, and her head kept bobbing, and her body kept hitching, and now she pulled her bonnet this way, and now that. She finally went out of the fretting into the languishing mood, and declared she should die if some body did n t get her a glass of water.* When she became composed, Ike inquired if * she knew Charity Beadle ? * Yes ! I know her to be an orful critter ! 4 What has she done ? 4 What hain t she 2 She s lied about me, and about El der Dobbin s folks, and said how that when the singing- master boarded at our house, she seed lights in the sitting- room till past three the orful critter ! EUNICE GRIMES. 37 * But what have you heard her say about Philista Filkins ? * Oh ! every thing that s bad. She do n t never say any thing that s good bout no body. She s allers talking. There ain t no body in the settlement she hain t slandered. She even abused old Deacon Snipes horse the orful crit ter ! But what did she say about Philista FUJcins?" 1 repeated Ike again. * What do you want me to say she said ? I hain t got any doubt she s called her every thing she could think on. Did n t she, Philisty ? she continued, turning her head toward the plaintiff. Philista nodded. Did she say she warn t no better than she ought to be ? Did she ? well, she did, and that very few people were. 4 Stop ! stop ! exclaimed Ike, you talk too fast ! I guess she did n t say all that. * She did, for Philista told me so ; and she would n t lie for the whole race of Beadles. Squire Longbow thought Eunice had better retire, as she did n t seem to know much about the case. She said she knew as much about it as any body; she wan t going to be abused, trod upon ; and no man was a man that would insult a poor woman ; and bursting into tears of rage, she twitched out of her chair, and went sobbing away. Philista closed, and Sile stated, in his opening to the Court on the part of the defense, that this was a little the smallest case he ever had seen. His client stood out high and dry ; she stood up like Andes looking down on a potato-hill ; he did n t propose to offer scarcely any proof; and that little was by way of set-off tongue against tongue according to the statute in such case made and provided ; he hoped the 38 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Court would examine the law for himself. (Here Sile un rolled a long account against Philista, measuring some three feet, and held it up to the Squire and jury.) This, he said, was a reg lar statement of the slanderous words used by Phi lista Filkins agin Charity Beadle for the last three years, with the damage annexed ; every thing had been itemized, and kept in tip-top style; all in black and white, just as it happened. Sile was about reading this formidable instru ment, when Ike objected. That can t be did in this ere Court ! exclaimed Ike ; * the light of civilization has shed itself a little too thick for that. This Court might just as well try to swallow a chest nut-burr, or a cat, tail foremost, as to get such a proposition a-down its throat. Squire Longbow said he M never heer d of such law yet the question was new to him. Laid down in all the law-books of the nineteenth centu ry ! exclaimed Sile, and never heard on t ! Never did. Why, continued Sile, * the statute allows set-off where it is of the same natur of the action. This, you see, is slander agin slander. * True, replied the Squire, * True, did you say ! exclaimed Ike. You say the sta tute does allow slander to be set off; our statute that sta tute that I learned by heart before I knew my A B C s you old bass-wood headed son But the Squire stopped Ike just at this time. We will decide the question first, he said. * The Court have made no decision yet. Squire Longbow was in trouble. He smoked furiously. He examined the statutes, looked over liis docket, but he did not seem to get any light. Finally, a lucky thought struck him. He saw old Mr. Brown in the crowd, who had THE SQUIRE S OPINION. 39 the reputation of having once been a Justice in the State of New- York. The Squire arose and beckoned to him, and both retired to an adjoining room. After about a half an hour, the Squire returned and took his seat, and delivered his opinion. Here it is : After an examination of all the p ints both for and agin the lowing of the set-off, in which the Court did n t leave no stone unturned to get at justice, having ransacked some half a dozen books from eend to eend, and noted down every thing that anywise bore on the subject ; recollecting, as the Court well doz, what the great Story, who s now dead and gone, done and writ bout this very thing, (for we must be lowed to inform this sembly that we read Story in our ju- venil years ;) having done this, and refreshing our minds with the testimony ; and keeping in our eye the rights of parties right-er liberty, and right-er speech, back ards and for ards for I ve as good a right to talk agin you, as you have to talk agin me knowing, as the Court doz, how much blood has been shed cause folks wer n t lowed to talk as much as they pleased, making all natur groan, the Court is of the opinion that the set-off must be let in ; and such is also Squire Brown s opinion, and no body will contradict that, / know? 1 Je-A<w-a-phat ! groaned out Ike, drawing one of his very longest breaths. * The great Je-mi-ma Wilkinson ! and so that is law, arter all ! There s my hat, Squire, Ike contin ued, as he arose and reached it out to him ; and you shall have my gallusses as soon as I can get at em. The Squire said the dignity of the Court must be pre served. " Of course it must ! of course it must ! replied Ike, who was growing very philosophical over the opinion of the Squire ; there ain t no friction on my gudgeons now ; I al- 40 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. ways gins in to reg lar opinions, delivered upon considera tion ; I was just thinking, though, Squire, that as their bill is so much the longest, and as the parties are both here, Cha rity had better let her tongue loose upon my client, and take out the balance on the spot. The Squire said the cause must go on. Sile read his set- off, made up of slanderous words alleged to have beeu used ; damages fifty dollars ; and calling Charity herself, upon the principle, as he said, that it was a book-account, and her books were evidence ; and her books having been lost, the paper which he held, and which was a true copy for he made it out himself was the next best evidence; all of which Charity would swear to straight along. The Court admitted Charity, and she swore the set-off through, and some fifty dollars more ; and she was going on horse-race speed, when Sile stopped her before, as he told her, < she swore the cause beyond the jurisdiction of a ma gistrate. Here the evidence closed. Midnight had set in, and the cause was yet to be summed up. The Court informed Ike and Sile that they were limited to half an hour each. Ike opened the argument, and such an opening, and such an argument ! It will not be expected that I can repeat it. There never lived a man who could. It covered all things mortal and immortal. Genius, and sense, and nonsense ; wit, humor, pathos, venom, and vulgarity, were all piled up to gether, and belched forth upon the Jury. He talked about the case, the Court, the Jury, his client, the history of the world, and Puddleford in particular. The slander was ad mitted, he declared, because the defendant had tried to set off something agiri it ; and if his client did n t get a judg ment, he d make a rattling among the dry bones of the law, GRAND FINALE. 41 that would rouse the dead of 76 ! He was fifty feet front, and rear to the river ; had seen great changes on the t res- tial globe ; know d all the sciences from Neb-u-cwc?-nezzar down ; know d law t was the milk of his existence/ As to the Court s opinion about the set-off, * his head was chock full of cob-webs or bumble-bees, he did n t know which ; his judgment warn t hardly safe on a common note-er- hand ; * he M no doubt but that three jist such cases would run him stark mad ; * Natur was sorry she d ever had any thing to do with him ; and he d himself been sorry ever since ; and as for ed cation, he warn t up to the school-marm, for she could read ; the Jury had better give him a ver dict if they did n t want the nightmare. And thus he was running on, when his half hour expired, but he could not be stopped as well stop a tornado. So Sile arose, and com menced his argument for the defendant ; and at it both la bored, Ike for plaintiff, Sile for defendant, until the Court swore a constable, and ordered the Jury to retire with him, the argu ment still going on ; and thus the Jury left the room, Ike and Sile following them up, laying down the law and the fact; and the last thing I observed just before the door closed, was Ike s arm run through it at us, going through a variety of gestures, his expiring effort in behalf of his client. After a long deliberation among the jurors, during which almost every thing was discussed but the evidence, it was an nounced by our foreman, on coming in, that we could not agree, four on em being for fifty dollars for the defendant cording to law, and one on em for no cause of action, (my self,) and he stood out, cause he was a-feared, or wanted to be pop lar with somebody. And thus ended the trial between Filkins and Beadle. 42 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER III. Wanderings in the "Wilderness A Bee-Hunt Sunrise The Fox- Squirrel The Blue-Jay The Gopher The Partridges Wild Geese, Ducks, and Cranes Blackbirds and Meadow- Larks Venison s Account of the Bees, Domestic Economy How Venison found what he was in search of Honey Secured After Reflections. VENISON STYLES and myself, as I have stated, had now become intimate. Together we scoured the woods and streams, in pursuit of fish and game. There was a kind of rustic poetry about the old man that fascinated my soul. His thoughts and feelings had been drawn from nature, and there was a strange freshness and life about every thing he said and did. He was as firm and fiery as a flint ; and the sparks struck out of him were as beautiful. Winds and storms, morn s early dawn, the hush of evening, the seasons and all their changes, had become a part of him they had moulded and kept him. They played upon him, like a breeze upon a harp. How could I help loving him ? Before day-break, one morning in October, Venison, my self, his honey-box, and axes, set out a bee-hunting, as he called it. It was in the beautiful and inspiring season of Indian summer, a season that lingers long and lovely over the forests of the West. There had been a hard, black frost during the night, and the great red sun rose upon it, shrouded in smoke. We were soon deep in the heart of the wilderness, tramping over the fallen leaves, and pushing for ward to where the bees were thick a-workin, according to Venison. THE FOX-SQUIRREL. 43 As the sun rose higher and higher, the leaves began, all around, to thaw, and detach themselves from the trees, and silently settle to the ground. There stood the yellow walnut, the blood-red maple, side by side with the green pine and the spruce. Ten thousand rainbows were interlaced through the tops of the trees, and now and then a sharp peak shot up its pile of mosaic into the sky. Not a sound was heard around us till morning s dawn. The tranquillity was oppressive. The mighty wilderness was asleep. Every thing felt as fixed and awful as eternity. The vast extent of the wooded waste, reaching thousands of miles beyond, on, and on, and on, filled with mountains, lakes, and streams, lying in solitary grandeur, as unchanged as on the day the Pyramids were finished, overwhelmed the imagination. And then the future arose upon the mind, when all this should be busy with life when the present would be history, referred to, but not remembered when the present population of the globe would have been swept from the face of it, and another generation in our place, playing with the toys that so long amused, and which we, at last, leave behind us. But as day dawned, and morning began to throw in her arrows of gold about our feet, the wilderness began to wake up. A fox-squirrel shot out from his bed in a hollow tree, where he had been lodging during the night ; and scamper ing up a tall maple, he sat himself down, threw his tail over his back, and broke forth with his chiclc-chicJc-chickaree, chickaree, chickaree! making the woods ring with his song. Look at him ; exclaimed Venison ; he s as sassy as ever. If I had my rifle, I d knock the spots oft that check coat of liis n ; I d larn him to chickaree old Venison. This squirrel, very common in some of the north-western States, is one of the largest and most beautiful of its species. 44 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. He is dressed in a suit of light-brown check, and may be seen, in warm, sunny days, cantering over the ground, or running through the tree-tops. He is a very careful and a very busy body. I have often watched him, as he sat bolt upright in a hickory, eating nuts, and throwing the shucks on the ground, with all the gravity of a judge. During the fall, he hoards up large quantities of stores. He hulls his beech-nuts, selects the fairest walnuts, picks up, here and there, a few chestnuts, and packs every thing away in his castle with the utmost care; and, as Veuison says, the choppers in the winter have stolen bushels on em ! While our squirrel was singing his morning psalm, a crow, just out of his bed, went sailing along above us, with his 4 caw ! caw ! and settled on a tree near by. * Caw I caw! he screamed again, looking down curiously at the squirrel, as much as to say, Who cares for your music ! Then out hurried another squirrel, and another, breaking forth with joy, until the crow, fairly drowned out, spread his wings and soared away. Venison says * them crows can smell gun powder, and that fellow know d we had n t any, when he lit so near us. A blue-jay then commenced a loud call from a distant part of the forest. He is one of the birds that lingers be hind, and braves the blasts of winter. He was flitting about in a tree-top, and had just commenced his day s work. How gaudily Nature has dressed this bird ! How he shines, dur ing spring and summer ! All the shades, and touches, and tinges of blue, flow over his gaudy mantle ; and how orderly and lavishly they are strown over him. But the blue-jay is a dissolute kind of a fellow, after all neither more nor less than a thief, Venison says. His shadowy dress fades with the leaf, and after strutting about during the warmer months, making a great display of his finery, he runs down/ STILL LIFE. 45 at last, into a confirmed loafer. Groups of them may be seen in the winter, drudging around among the withered bushes, and scolding like so many shrews. Then out popped the little gopher, that finished piece of stripe and check, that miner, \vho digs deep in the ground. He, too, had left his mansion, and come to greet the morn. A troop of quail marched along, headed by their chief. Who does not love the quail ? She is associated with early childhood and household memories. Her voice rings through the past. We heard it sounding over our better years. What a rich brown suit she wears, cut round with Quaker simpli city ! what taste and neatness about it ! It was she, that long ago went forth with the reapers, and piped for them her sun rise psalm, l More wet ! More wet ! and she will stay here with us during the winter, and traverse, with her caravan, all day, the desert wastes of snow. Venison says, he *do n t never kill a quail it ain t right, but he don t know why. The partridges, all around, commenced rolling their drums, and every little while, one would whirr past our heads, and die away in the distance. The whole woodpecker family began their labor. He who wears a red-velvet cap, silk shawl, and white under-clothes, was boring away in a rotten tree, to find his breakfast ; and he kept hitching around, and hammering, without regarding or caring for our presence. The rabbit, with ears erect, sat drawn up in a heap, quiver ing with fear as he gazed upon us. At last, we reached the bank of the river, and Venison said : We had better sit down, and take our reck ning. Here was one of the most beautiful pictures of still life, ever painted by Nature. The river wound away like a silver serpent, until it was lost in a bank of Indian summer haze, and it gurgled and dashed through the aisles of the forest, 46 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. like a dream through, the silent realms of sleep. It lay, half sun-shine, half shadow, and the shadow was slowly creeping up a tall cliff on the opposite shore, as the day advanced, counting, as it were, the moments as they passed. Afar down it, I was amused as I watched a flock of wild geese. They were about a hundred in number, sleeping upon the water, in a glassy cove, their heads neatly tucked under their wings. An old gander, who had been appointed sentinel, to keep watch and guard, was doing the best he could to perform his duty. He stood upon one leg, and he grew so drowsy, several times, that he nearly toppled over," to his great consternation, and the danger of his charge. But rousing up, and taking two or three pompous strides, and stretching his neck to its utmost, with a very wise look, he satisfied himself that all was right, and that he was not so bad a sentinel, after all. Near by this sleeping community, where a ripple played over a cluster of rocks, a flock of ducks were performing their ablutions. Now they were diving, now combing out their feathers, now rising and flapping their Avings, now playing with each other, when the leader blowing a blast on his trumpet, they rose gracefully from their bath, and form ing themselves into a drag, went winnowing up the river to their haunts far away. A sand-hill crane, hoisted up on his legs of stilts, his clothes gathered up, and pinned behind him, was leisurely . wading about, spearing fish for his breakfast. A dozy, stupid- looking king-fisher sat upon a blasted limb just over him, looking as grave as a country justice, engaged in the same business. A bald eagle came rushing down the stream like an air-ship, his great wings slowly heaving up and down, as if he had set out upon an all-day s journey. A musk-rat ferried himself over from one side to the other, urgent upon VENISON S BEE-POLITY. 47 business best known io himself. A prairie-wolf came down to the water s edge, gave a bark or two, and, taking a drink, turned back the way he came. How many birds had left the wilderness for other climes ! The blackbirds, those saucy gabblers, who spent the summer here, feeding upon wild rice, departed a month ago. I saw their bustle and preparation. They Avere days and days getting ready for their journey. The whole country around was alive with their noise. They sang, and fretted. They seemed to be out of all kind of patience with every body and every thing to have a kind of spite against Nature for driving them off. All the trees about the marshes were loaded, and some were singing, some complaining, some scolding ; but having finally completed their arrangements, all of a sudden they left. And the meadow-lark, that came so early with her spring song she who used to sit upon the waving grass, and heave herself to and fro, in so ecstatic and polite a manner, as her melody rose and fell she, too, is gone. But, about hunting bees. Venison informed me that here was the spot, where he should try em that he didn t know nothing about his luck ; that bees were the know- ingest critters alive that they lived in the holler trees, all around us. He said * they had queens to govern em that they had workers and drones that every thing about em was done just so, and if any of em broke the laws, they just killed em, and pitched em overboard. This, he said, he had seed himself; he had seen a reg lar bee funeral. He * seed, once, four bees tugging at a dead body, drawing it on the back, when they throw d it out of the hive, and covered it over with dirt. And then they have wars, he says, and gen rals, and captins, and sogers, and go out a-fighting, and a-stealing honey; they are 48 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. very * knowin critters, and there is no tellin nothing about em. Venison took the little box he had brought with him, which was filled with honey, and, opening its lid, placed it on a stump. He then rambled around the woods until he found a lingering flower that had escaped the frost, with a honey-bee upon it. This he picked, bee and all, and placed on the honey. Soon, the bee began to work and load him self; and finally he rose in circles, winding high in the air, and suddenly turning a right-angle, he shot out of sight. Where has he gone ? inquired I. Gone hum where he lives, answered Venison, * to unload his thighs and tell the news. In a few moments, three bees returned, filled themselves, and departed; then six; then a dozen, until a black line was formed, along which they were rushing both ways, empty and laden, one end of which was lost in the forest. Venison and myself then started on a trot, with our eyes upward, to follow this living line ; and after having proceed ed a quarter of a mile it became so confused and scattered that we gave it up, and returned. 4 What now ? I inquired. 4 1 11 have em ! I 11 have em ! he replied. They can t cheat old Venison. I ve hunted the critters mor-nor forty years, and I allers takes em when I tries. I 11 draw a couple of more sights on ern. Venison took two pieces more of honey, and placed one on each side of his box. The bees followed him and com menced their work. Very soon, instead of one, he had three lines established, his line of honey forming the base of a triangle, while the bees were ail rushing to its point, on each side of this triangle through its middle. This, of course, was a demonstration. Venison and my- HONEY FOUND. 49 self followed up again, and, sure enough, we * had em, as he predicted. There they were, roaring in the top of a great oak, like thunder, coming in and going out, wheeling up and down through the air as though some great celebration was going on. It seemed that the whole hive of workers must have broken forth to capture and carry v away Venison s honey-box. * Will they sting ? inquired I. * Some folks they will, he replied. * If they hate a man they 11 follow him a mile ; and no body knows who they hate and who they do n t, until they re tried. * Where s the honey? I inquired again. Well 1 , that s the next thing I m arter ; and Venison put his ear to the trunk of the tree to ascertain in what part of it they were * a-workin . He listened a while, but they warn t low down, he know d, for he did n t hear em hum- min . He thought the honey was * out the way, high up some where. So at the tree he went with his axe, and in half an hour the old oak older, probably, than any man on the globe came down with a crash that roused up all the echoes of the wilderness. Upon an examination, the honey was, probably, Venison thought, packed away in a hollow of the tree, about fifty feet from the ground, as a large knot-hole was discerned out of which the bees were streaming in great consternation. So he severed the trunk again, at the bottom of the hollow, and there it was, great flakes, piled one upon another, some of which had been broken by the fall of the tree, and were dripping and oozing out their wild richness. That s the raal stuff, exclaimed Venison ; something sides bees-bread. Venison had brought nothing with him to hold his honey, and I was a little curious to know how he would manage. 3 50 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. He cut the tree again above the knot. During his labor, the bees had settled all over him. His hands, faee, and hair were filled, beside a circle of them that were angrily wheel ing about his head. But he heeded them not, except by ais occasional shake, which was significant of pity rather than rage. Now, said Venison, when his work was finished, the tree cut, the knot-hole stopped, and the whole turned upside down, * that T s what I call a nat ral bee-hive, and we 11 just stuff in a little dry grass on tbe top, ad then I 11 be ready to move. * Move I I exclaimed, move ! Yon don t expect we will carry home a tree, do you ? * Two or three on em, I s pect. Venison allers gels as- much as that, Venison was right. Before noor>, half a dozen hives were captured and ready for removal. I confess, after the excite ment was over, that I began to grow quite serious over my forenoon s labor. I sat down to rest myself, and the very solemnity of the wilderness produced a sober train of thought. A south-west breeze sprang up loaded with the dying breath of the fall-flowers. It was blowing down the leaves around me, and piling them i*p in gorgeous drifts. Like an under taker around the remains of the dead, it was quietly tearing down the drapery, and preparing the year for its burial. A haze overspread every thing, and the distance was mellow, the objects indistinct, and the whole landscape seemed swim ming, as we sometimes see it fn a dream. The trees were covered with haze ; aM a canoe, on its way down, appeared to be hung up in the air; the birds were hazy ; and, looking about me, I appeared to be sitting in a great tent of haze. The squirrels were clattering through the trees, and throwing down the nuts ; the partridges were drumming ; the rabbits 51 rustling through the dry leaves; the water-fowl hurrying through the air ; and the crickets, those melancholy musi cians, were piping a low, dirge-like strain to the golden hours of autumn as they passed away. I thought I could hear the great heart of Nature beat with measured and palpitating strokes ; could feel the mas sive pendulum of Time swinging back and forth. But I said I was rather sober. There stood our six bee hives, and clinging to each in large clusters were its inhabit ants, who had been driven forth by us to brave a pitiless winter. We had destroyed six cities, and banished their people ; six cities, six governments of law and order. Cities laid out in lanes, and streets, and squares ; cities of dwelling- houses and castles ; cities filled with all sorts of people ; all castes in society. There were the queen and her palace; the drones and their castles ; and the serf, or day-laborer, and his hut; and there, sitting upon her throne, the sover eign swayed as mighty a sceptre, tyrannized over as great a people, in her opinion, as any human despot. She undoubt edly bustled about, talked large, swelled up herself with her importance, boasted of her blood, of her divine right to rule, (certainly divine in her case,) just as all earthly princes do. There she projected plans of war, marshalled her forces, and stimulated their courage with inflammatory appeals. She talked about her house as the royal line, as the French used to about the Bourbons. And then a lazy aristocracy had been broken up by us ; we had turned hundreds of drones adrift, and according to the modern definition, drones must be aristocrats ; that is, they did no work, and lived upon the labor of others. They were, in all probability, just like all other aristocratic drones. They lounged about the hive in each other s company ; had an occasional uproar at each other s table ; turned out to take the morning air, and slept after 52 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. dinner. They probably advised in all matters of public policy, and cried every day : Long live the Queen. I did not care much about the drones, however. But we had turned the poor day-laborer out of doors ; he who rose with the sun, and went forth to work while the dew was yet lying on the flowers. We had humbled the pride of six cities, and brought it to the dust. Is it strange that I felt sober ? But Venison broke my musing by informing me that it was * about time to cakalate a little about getting our honey home, and he guessed he d go and rig up a raft, and float the cargo down. And soon a raft was constructed of flood-wood, and bound together with green withes, the honey rolled aboard, two long poles prepared to be used to guide the craft, and away we glided, followed by a long train of bees, who had been despoiled, and who streamed along after us, until the shadows of evening arrested their flight, and parted them and their treasure for ever. THE LOG-CHAPEL. 53 CHAPTER IV. The Log-Chapel Father Beals Aunt Graves Sister Abigail Bigelow Van Slyck, the Preacher His Entree How he Worked One of his Sermons Performance of the Choir Coronation Achieved Getting into Position Personal Appeals Effect on the Congregation Sabbath in the Wilderness Is Bigelow the only Ridiculous Preacher ? PUDDLEFORD was not altogether a wilderness, although it was located near a wilderness. It was located just on the out-skirts of civilization, and, like Venison Styles, it caught a reflection of civilized life from the east, and of savage life from the west. It was an organized township, and was a part of an organized county. There were hundreds and thou sands of men who were busy at work all over this county, cutting down the trees and breaking up the soil. Law and religion had found their way among them, just as they always accompany the American pioneer. It could not be otherwise ; because these obligations grow up and weave themselves into the very nature of the people of our republic. They are written on the soul. So that judicial circuits, a court-house and jail, Methodist circuits and circuit-riders, and meeting houses, were established. All this was rough, like the coun try itself. Few persons have ever attempted to define the piety of just such a community as this ; and yet it has a form, tone, and character peculiarly its own. The portraits of the Puddlefordians were just as clearly reproduced in their religion, as if they had been drawn by sun-light. 54 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. The log-chapel, as it was called, at Pudclleforcl, was filled each week, with one or two hundred rough, hard-featured unlearned men and women, who had come in from all parts of the country ; some for devotional- exercises, some for amusement ; some to look, and some to be looked at. This congregation shifted faces each week, like the colors in a kaleidoscope. It was never the same. The man in the pulpit must have felt as though he were preaching to a running river, whose parts were continually changing. Yet there was a church at Puddleford, in the strict sense of the word ; it was organized, and had, at the time I refer to, ten regular members in good standing : all the rest was floating capital, that drifted in from Sunday to Sunday, and swelled the * church proper. There was Father Beals, and old Aunt Graves, and Sister Abigail, who were regular attendants at all times and seasons. They were, beyond all doubt, the pillars of the Puddleford church. Father Beals was the church, before any building for worship was erected. He was looked upon as a living, moving, spiritual body ; a Methodist organization in himself; and wherever he went to worship on the Sabbath, whether in a private house, a barn, or in the forest, all the followers of that order were found with him, drawn there by a kind of magnetism. The old man had been one of the faithful from a boy ; had carried his principles about him from day to day ; was indeed a light in the world ; and he was, by some plan of PROVIDENCE, flung far back into the wilder ness, all burning, to kindle up and set on fire those about him. His influence had built the log-chapel, and, like a regulator in a watch, he kept it steady, pushing this wheel a little faster, and checking that. Sometimes he had to com mand, sometimes entreat, sometimes threaten, sometimes soothe. MINT GRAVES. 55 * Father Beals was a good man; and no higher compli ment can be paid to any person. His head was very large, bald, and his hair was white. There was an expression of great benevolence in his face, and a cold calmness in his bine eye that never failed to command respect. He used to sit, on Sundays, just under the pulpit, with a red cotton handker chief thrown over him, while his wide-brimmed hat, that he wore into the country, stood in front, on a table, and really seemed to listen to the sermon. Aunt Graves 1 was a very useful body in her way, and the Puddleford church could not have spared her any more than Father Beats. She was an old maid, and had been a mem ber of the log-chapel from its beginning. She was one of those sincere souls that really believed that there was but one church in the world, and that was her own. She felt a kind of horror when she read of other denominations having an actual existence, and wondered what kind of judgment would fall upon them. She did n t know very much about the Bible, but she knew a great deal about religion ; she knew all about her own duty, and quite a good deal about the duty of her neighbors. Now Aunt Graves was useful in many ways. She kept, in the first place, a kind of spiritual thermometer, that always denoted the range of every member s piety except her own. Every slip of the tongue, every uncharitable remark; every piece of indiscretion, by word or deed ; all acts of omission, as well as of commission, were carefully registered by her, and could at any time be examined and corrected by the church. This was convenient and useful. Then, she was a choice piece of melody ; there was not another voice like hers in the settlement. It had evidently been pitched from the beginning for the occasion. It possessed great power, was quite shaky, (a modern refinement in music,) and could 56 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. be heard from a half to three quarters of a mile. She has been known to sweep away on a high note, and actually take the Puddleford choir off their feet. She rode through the staff of music headlong, like a circus-rider around the ring ; and could jump three or four notes at any time, without lessening her speed, or breaking the harmony. She would take any piece of sacred music by storm, on the very shortest notice. In fact, she was the treble, aided by a few others who had received their instruction from her ; and she was just as indispensable to worship, she thought, as a prayer or a sermon. Aunt Graves always made it her business to keep a sharp look-out after the morals of the preacher. Men are but men, she used to say, and preachers are but men ; and they need some person to give em a hunch once in a while. Sometimes she would lecture him of the log-chapel for hours upon evidences of piety, acts of immorality, the importance of circumspection, the great danger that surrounded him her tongue buzzing all the while like a mill-wheel, propelled as it was by so much zeal. She said it almost made her * crazy to keep the Puddleford church right side up ; for it did seem as though she had every thing on her shoulders ; and she really believed it would have gone to smash long ago, if it had n t been for her. ^ow, * Sister Abigail was n t any body in particular that is, she was not exactly a free agent. She was Aunt Graves shadow a reflection of her ; a kind of person that said what Aunt Graves said, and did what she did, and knew what she knew, and got angry when she did, and over it when she did. She was a kind of dial that Aunt Graves shone upon, and any one could tell what time of day it was with Aunt Graves, l>y looking at Sister Abigail. Besides these lights in the church, there were about (as I BIGELOW VAN SLYCK. 57 have said) ten or a dozen members, ana a congregation weekly of one or two hundred. But I must not pass over the preacher himself. I only speak of one, although many filled the pulpit of the Puddle- ford church, during my acquaintance with it. Bigelow Van Slffck was at one time a circuit-rider on the Puddleford cir cuit; and I must be permitted to say, he was the most im portant character that had filled that station, prior to the time to which I have reference. He was half Yankee, half Dutch ; an ingenious cross, effected somewhere down in the State of Pennsylvania. He was not yet a full-blown preacher, but an exhorter merely. He was active, industrious, zealous, and one would have thought he had more duty on his hands than the head of the nation. His circuit reached miles and miles every way. He was here to-day, there to-morrow, and somewhere else next day ; and he ate and slept where he could. Bigelow s appointments were all given out weeks in advance. These appointments must be fulfilled ; and he was so continually pressed, that one would have thought the furies were ever chasing him. I have often seen him rushing into the settlement after a hard day s ride. He wore a white hat with a wide brim, a Kentucky-jean coat, corduroy vest and breeches, a heavy pair of clouded-blue yarn stockings, and stogy boots. He rode a racking Indian pony, who wore a shaggy mane and tail. Bigelow usually made his appearance in Puddleford just as the long shadows of a Saturday evening were pointing over the landscape. The pony came clattering in at the top of his speed, panting and blowing, as full of business and zeal as his master, while Bigelow s extended legs and fluttering bandana kept time to the movement. The women ran to the doors, the children paused in the midst of their frolic, as 3* 58 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE . his pony stirred up the echoes around their ears ; and it is said that the chickens and turkeys, who had often witnessed the death of one of their number when this phantom appeared, set up a most dismal hue-and-cry, and took to their wings in the greatest consternation. We hope that none of our readers will form an unfavoyia- ble opinion of Bigelow, after having read our description of him. He was the man of all others to fill the station he occupied. He was as much a part of, and as necessary to, the wilderness he inhabited, as the oak itself. He belonged to the locality. / He was one of a gallery of portraits that nature and circumstances had hung up in the forest for a useful purpose, just as Squire Longbow was another. The one managed the church, the other the courts ; and all this was done in reference to society as it was, not what it ought to be, or might be. There was a kind of elasticity about Bigelow s theology, as there was about the Squire s law, that let all perplexing technicalities pass along without producing any friction. They were graduated upon the sliding-scale princi ple, and were never exactly the same. Bigelow was a host in theology in his way. He could reconcile at once any and every point that could be raised. He never admitted a doubt to enter into his exhortations, but he informed his hearers at once just how the matter stood. He professed to be able to demonstrate any theological ques tion at once, to the satisfaction of any reasonable mind ; and it was all folly to labor with the unreasonable, he said, for they would l fight agin the truth as long as they could, any way. I used occasionally to hear him exhort, and he was in every respect an off-hand preacher. He worked like a black smith at the forge. Coat, vest, and handkerchief, one after the other, flew off as he became more and more heated in his A GREAT OCCASION. 59 discourse. At one time he thundered down the terrors of the X law upon the heads of his hearers ; at another he persuaded ; and suddenly he would take a facetious turn, and accompany the truth with a story about his grand-father down on the Ohio, or an anecdote that he had read in the newspapers. He wept and he laughed, and the whole assembly were moved as his feelings moved; now silent with grief, and now swell ing with enthusiasm. I recollect one of his sermons in part, and, in fact, the most of the services accompanying it. It was a soft day in June. The birds were singing and revelling among the trees which canopied the chapel. The church was filled. The choir were all present. Father Beals, Aunt Graves, and 4 Sister Abigail were in their accustomed seats. The farmers from the country had turned out ; in fact, it was one of the most stirring days Puddleford had ever known. It was quite evident that the occasion was extraordinary, as Aunt Graves was very nervous the moment she took her seat in the choir. If any error should be committed, the exercises would be spoiled, prayers, preaching, and all ; because, according to her judgment, they all depended upon good music; and that she was responsible for. So she began to hitch about, first this way, and then that; then she ran over the music-book, and then the index to it ; then she hummed a tune inaudibly through her nose ; then she examined the hymn-book, and then changed her seat ; and then changed back again. She was, in her opinion, the wheel that kept every other wheel in motion; and what if that wheel should stop ! But the hymn was at last given out ; and there was a rust ling of leaves, and an a-hemming, and coughing, and spitting ; and sounding of notes ; and a toot on a, cracked clarionet, which had been wound with tow ; and a low grunt from a bass-viol, produced by a grave-looking man in the corner. 60 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Then all rose, and launched forth in one of those ancient pieces of church-harmony, Coronation; 7 every voice and in strument letting itself go to its utmost extent. One airy- looking person was pumping out his bass by rising and fall ing on his toes ; another, more solemn, was urging it up by crowding his chin on his breast ; another jerked it out by a twist of his head; while one quiet old man, whose face beamed with tranquillity, just stood, in perfect ecstasy, and let the melody run out of his nose. The genius on the clarionet blew as if he were blowing his last. His cheeks were bloated, his eyes were wild and extended, and his head danced this way and that, keeping time with his fingers ; and he who sawed the viol, tore away upon his instrument with a kind of ferocity, as if he were determined to commit some violence upon it. But the treble what shall I say of it ? Aunt Graves was no where to be seen, after the * parts had got into full play; she put on the power of her voice, and drowned out everything around her at once; and then, rising higher and higher, she rushed through the notes, the choir in full chase after her, and absolutely came out safely at last, and struck upon her feet, without injuring herself or any one else. When this performance closed, quite an air of self-satis faction played over the faces of all, declaring clearly enough that their business was over for an hour at least. In fact Aunt Graves was entirely out of breath, and remained in a languishing state for several minutes. So they busied them selves the best way they could. They gazed at every person in the house except the preacher, and did every thing but worship. I noticed that it was very difficult for the female portion to get into position. They tried a lounge and a lean, an averted face and a full one. Then their bonnet- strings troubled them, and then their shawls and now a lock ARGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM. 61 of hair got astray, and then something else. The men were as philosophical and indifferent as so many players at a show. He of the clarionet once so far forgot the day as to raise his instrument to the window and take a peep though it, so that he might detect its air-holes, if any there were ; and he after ward amused himself and me, a long time, by gravely lick ing down its tow bandage, so that it might be in condition when called upon to perform again. In fact, the Puddle- ford choir was very much like choirs in all other places. By and by, Bigelow took his stand, preparatory to his ser mon. I do not intend to follow Bigelow through his dis course, because I could not do so if I attempted it ; nor would it be of any importance to the reader, if I could. He said he would not take any text, but he would preach a sermon that would suit a hundred texts. He did not like to confine himself to any particular portion of the Bible ; but wished to retain the privilege of following up the manifold sins of his congregation, in whomsoever or wherever they existed, He then launched himself forth, denouncing, in the first place, the sin of profanity, which is very common in all new countries, evidently having in view two or three of his hearers who were notoriously profane; and after considering the question generally, he declared, that of all sinners, the pro fane man is the greatest fool, because he receives nothing for his wickedness. A n t that true, Luke Smith ? he continued, as he reached out his finger toward Luke, whose daily con versation was a string of oaths ; a n t that true ? How much have you made by it ? answer to me, and this congregation. Luke quivered as if a shock of electricity had passed through him. Bigelow then gave a short history of his own sins in that line at an early day, before he entered the pulpit, when he was young and surrounded by temptations ; but, he said, he 62 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. reformed at last, and every other man might do so by the same means. When you feel yourself swelling with a big oath for every man feels em inside before they break out, exclaimed Bigelow, jump up and cry Jezebel ! three times in succession, and you 11 feel as calm as an infant. This, he continued, lets off the feeling without the commission of sin, and leaves the system healthy. He next considered the sin of Sabbath-breaking; and he poured down the melting lava upon the heads of his hearers with a strength and ingenuity that I have seldom seen equal led. Men, he said, would labor harder to break the Sab bath, than they would for bread. They would chase a deer from morning till night on this holy day, kill him, and then throw the carcass away ; but week-days they lounge about some Puddleford dram-shop, while their families were suffer ing. Men, too, he continued, fish on Sundays, because the devil has informed them that fish bite better. It is the devil himself who does the biting, not the fish ; it is he who is fishing for you ; for Bill Larkin, and Sam. Trimble, and Hugh Williams, and scores of others; he s got you now and you will be scaled and dressed for his table unless you escape instantly ; and then, to impress his illustration, he soared away into a flight of eloquence just suited to his hearers; rough and fiery, plain and pointed, neither above nor below the capacity of those he addressed. Bigelow then made a descent upon lying and liars. He regretted to say that this sin was very common in the church. He had a dozen complaints before him now, undecided ; and he detailed a few of them, as specimens of the depravity of the human heart. He did n t want to hear any more of them, as he had something else to do, beside taking charge of the tongues of his church. Then came an exhortation on duties ; and almost every SUCCESS UNDER DIFFICULTIES. 63 practical virtue was mentioned and impressed. Early- rising, industry, economy, modesty, contentment, etc., etc., all received a notice at his hands. * Do n t sleep yourselves to death ! exclaimed Bigelow ; rise early ! work ! for while you sleep, the Enemy will sow your fields full of tares ; and the only way to keep him out is to be on the spot yourself! This was a literal application of the parable, it is true; yet it was very well done, and productive, I have no doubt, of some good. Bigelow closed in a most tempestuous manner. He was eloquent, sarcastic, and comical, by turns. He had taken off nearly all his clothes, except his pantaloons, shirt, and sus penders ; a custom among a certain class of western preachers, however strange it may appear to many readers. Streams of perspiration were running down his face and neck ; his hair was in confusion ; and altogether, he presented the appear ance of a man who had passed through some convulsion of nature, and barely escaped with his life. I could not help thinking that Bigelow was entitled to great credit, not only for the matter his sermon contained, but in being able to deliver a sermon at all amid the con fusion which often surrounded him. There were a dozen or more infants in the crowd, some crowing, some crying, and some chattering. One elderly lady, in particular, had in charge one of these responsibilities, that seemed to set the place and the preacher at defiance. She tried every expedient to quiet the little nuisance, but it was of no use. She sat it down, laid it down, turned it around, nursed it, chirped at it ; and finally, giving up in despair, she placed it on her knee, the child roaring at the top of its lungs, and commenced trotting it in the very face of the audience. This operation cut up the music of the innocent, and threw it out in short, quick jerks, very agreeable to the preacher and congrega tion. 64 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. An excellent old woman also sat directly in front of Bige- low, her left elbow resting on her knee, which she swayed to and fro with a sigh. Her face lay devoutly in the palm of her hand, while her right thumb and fore-finger held a pinch of snuff, which she every now and then slowly breathed up a hawk-bill nose, with a long-drawn whistle, something after the sort that -broke forth from the clarionet a while before. She then blew a blast into a faded cotton handkerchief, that reverberated like the voice of many trumpets. This was followed by fits of coughing, and sneezing, and sighing ; in fact, she sounded as great a variety of notes as the choir itself. Beside all this, a troop of dogs who had followed their masters were continually marching up and down the chapel ; and when any unusual excitement occurred with Bigelow, or any one else, as there did several times, we had a barking- chorus, which threatened to suspend the whole meeting. Bigelow, however, did n t mind any or all of these things ; but, like a skillful engineer, he put on the more steam, and ran down every obstacle in his way. Reader, I have given you a description of the log-chapel at Puddleford. It is like a thousand other places of public worship in a new country. If there is something to con demn, there is more to praise. There seems to be a provi dence in this, as in all other things. The settlers in a forest are a rough, hardy, and generally an honest race of men. It is their business to hew down the wilderness, and prepare the way for a different class who will surely follow them. They cannot cultivate their minds to any extent, or refine their characters. They must be reached through the pulpit by such means as will reach them. Of what importance is a nice theological distinction with them ? Of what force a labored pulpit disquisition ? They have great vices and strong SABBATH IN THE WILDERNESS. 65 virtues. Their vices must be smitten and scattered with a sledge-hammer ; they are not to be played with in a flourish of rhetoric. Just such a human tornado as Bigelow, is the man for the place : he may commit some mischief, but he will leave behind him a purer moral atmosphere, and a serener sky. Society, in such a place as Puddleford, is cultivated very much like its soil. Both lie in a state of rude nature, and both must be improved. The great * breaking-plough, 7 with its dozen yoke of cattle, in the first place, goes tearing and groaning through the roots and grubs that lie twisted under it, just as Bigelow tore and groaned through the stupidity and wickedness of his hearers. Then comes the green grass, and wheat, and flowers, as years draw on ; producing, at last, some sixty, and some an hundred-fold. There is something impressive in the Sabbath in the wilderness. A quiet breathes over the landscape that is almost overwhelming. In a city, the church- steeples talk to one another their lofty music; but there are no bells in the wilderness to mark the hours of worship. The only bell which is heard is rung by Memory, as the hour of prayer draws nigh ; some village-bell, far away, that vibrated over the hills of our nativity, the tones of which we have carried away in our soul, and which are awakened by the solemnity of the day. There is a philosophy in all this, if we will but see it : there is more ; there is a lesson, possibly a reproof. If we are disposed to smile at the rusticity of a Puddleford church, may we not with equal reason become serious over the over grown refinement of many another ? May not something be learned in the very contrast which is thus afforded ? Do not the extravagant hyperbole, coarse allusions, irreverent anec- , and strong but unpolished shafts of sarcasm, that such 66 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. as Bigelow so unsparingly scatter over the sanctuary, give a rich back-ground and strong relief to the finished rhetoric of many a pulpit essay, that has been written to play with the fancy and tranquillize the nerves of a refined arid fashionable audience ? Are not the extremes equally ridiculous : the one not having reached, the other having passed the zenith ? THE FISH HARVEST. 67 CHAPTER V. Indian Summer Venison Styles again Jim Buzzard Fishing Ex cursion Muskrat City Indian Bury ing-ground the Pickerel and the rest of the Fishes the Prairie Wild Geese the Old Mound Yenison s regrets at the degenerating times His luck, and mine Reminiscences of the Beavers Camping out Safe Return. INDIAN summer had not yet taken her bow from the woods or her breath from the sky. Old Autumn still lay asleep ; Time stood by, with his hour-glass erect, slowly count ing the palpitations of his heart. Venison Styles appointed a day for a fishing excursion, and was desirous of my company ; so, on one of those bright mornings, we might have been seen loading our gear into the boat, preparatory to a night s lodging in the woods. We were accompanied by Jim Buzzard, a genuine Puddlcford- ian, whom we took along to do up the little pieces of drudg ery that always attend such an expedition. Puddleford was a wonderful place for fish-eaters, and the only real harvest the villagers had was the fish-harvest. One half of Puddleford lived on fish, and every body fished. But our Jin; Buzzard was a character in fish, and I could never excuse myself if I should pass him over unnoticed. Where Jim was born who was his father or mo ther and whether he actually ever had any, are questions that no mortal man was ever yet able to answer. He ap peared one spring morning in Puddleford with the swallows. The first thing seen of him he was sitting, about sunrise, on 68 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. an old dry-goods box, at the corner of a street, whistling a variety of lively airs. The crown was dangling from the top of his hat, he was shirtless and tmshaved, and his shoes gaped horribly at the public. Jim was a genuine loafer, and loafers, you know, reader, pervade every place, and are always the same. There is a certain class of animals that are said to follow civilization, as sharks follow in the wake of a ship, and generally for the same reason, to pick up what they can find. Rats and loaf ers belong to this class, and there is no human ingenuity shrewd enough to keep them off : their appearance seems to be a simple fulfilment of a law of nature. Jim Buzzard was a fisher, too, and nothing but a fisher. He would sit on an old log by the bank of the river, and hold a pole from morning until night. If the fish would bite, very well ; if they would not, very well. Ill-luck never roused his wrath, because there was no wrath in him to arouse. He was a true philosopher, and was entirely too lazy to get into a passion. Jim knew that the fish would bite to-morrow, or next day, if they did n t to-day. He was happy, completely so ; that is, as completely happy as the world will admit. He did n t envy any body not he. All his wants were supplied, and what did he care about the pos sessions of his neighbors ? He never realized any future, here or hereafter. Jim never lay awake nights, thinking about where he would be, or what he should have, next week. He did n t know as there was any next week. He knew the sun rose and set, which was all the time he ever measured at once. Well, as I said, Jim made one of our company. Our boat was finally loaded, our crew shipped, and we shot forth into the stream. The water lay as smooth as glass, and the reflected colors of the blazing trees that hung over it gave it the appearance of a carpet. The headlands THE MUSKRATS. 69 put out here and there, intersected by long gores of marsh, that ran away a mile or more in the distance. Upon one of these marshes a city had been reared by the muskrats, which presented an interesting appearance. Hun dreds of huts had been erected by this busy population, intended by them as their winter quarters, composed of grass and sticks and mud, and hoisted up beyond the reach of the spring floods. Each one was a little palace, and the whole sat upon the water like a miniature Venice. Here huts were entered by diving down, the front door being always concealed to prevent intrusion. Up and down the canals of this city the inhabitants gossiped and gambolled by moon light, like those of every other gay place. They had their routs, and cotillons, and suppers, in all human probability, and for aught I know drank themselves stupid. Perhaps they kept up an opera. I say perhaps we know so little of the inner life of these strange creatures, that we may draw upon the imagination in regard to their amusements as much as we please. If any transcendental muskrat should ever write the history of this colony, I will forward it to the newspapers by the first mail. Venison said, we were going to have a wet time on t, cause the rats had built so high, and the whole mash would be covered bym-bye, by the rains. He said, muskrats know d more nor men about times ahead, and fixed up things cordingly. Our boat glided along until we came in sight of a huge bluff that had pushed itself half across the stream. A me lancholy fragment of one of the tribes of Indians, who once held the sovereignty of the soil, and who had escaped a removal, or had wandered back from their banishment, were clustered upon it. They had erected a long pole, and gath ered themselves, hand in hand, in a circle about it ; within 70 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE- this circle, their medicines and apparel worn in worship lay for consecration. The plaintive chant was heard melting along the waters, as they wheeled round and round in their solemn service. I have never looked upon a more touching exhibition.- Most of these Indians were very old ; they had outlived their tribe, their country, their glory every thing but their ceremonies and themselves. What a beautiful tri bute was this to the past ! a handful of worshippers linger ing round the broken altar of their temple, and hallowing its very ruins. Near by, and on the southern slope of the bluff lay the remains of an extensive Indian bury ing-ground. No white man could tell its age. Large oaks, centuries old, that had grown since the dead were first deposited there, stood up over the graves. No monuments of stone designated the thousands of sleepers the living themselves were the mon uments of the dead. "Weapons of war and peace were scattered beneath the turf, mixed with crumbling human bones. What were this little band of red men, thought I, but so many autumn leaves ? A few years more, and the solitary boat as it turns this headland, will find no warrior kneeling on its height. The Great Spirit will brood alone over the solitude. By and by, we turned into a bay, sheltered by an over hanging cliff, where we cast our anchor, and made ready for work. The water was transparent, and the shining pebbles glittered in the sandy depths below. Shoals of fish had gathered in this nook, beyond the strife of waters. The sun-fish, his back all bristling with rage, ploughed around with as much ferocity as a privateer ; the checkered perch lazily rolled from side to side, as his breath came and went ; the little silver dace darted and flashed through eacli other THE PRAIRIE. 71 their streams of light ; and away off, all alone, the pickerel that terror of the pool, stood as still and dart-like as the vane of a steeple. This congregation reminded me of the stir we sometimes find in the ports of a city. They seemed to have much business on hand. They were continually putting out and putting in; sometimes alone and sometimes in fleets. I noticed an indolent old sucker, who made several unsuc cessful attempts to reach the current, and get under head way. Once in a while, a fish would come dashing in from above, like a ship before a gale, throwing the whole com munity into an uproar. Below us, on the left bank of the river, stretched a prairie which was several miles in circumference. It was dotted, here and there, with a settler s cabin, but the greater part yet lay in the wild luxuriance of nature. It was surrounded by the forest, and long points of woodland pierced it, now glowing like a flame. Shooting back and forth, the prairie- hens sailed across it, like boats upon the main. The sky above it was filled with hawks, sweeping round and round in search O f p re y now they rested upon their outspread wings then plunged through a long-drawn curve then gracefully moved near the earth in downward circles, as some object was discovered, winnowing awhile above it, to make sure of its nature and position, and rising once more, and turning with lightning quickness, away they rushed upon their quarry, and soared away with it on high. In the depth of winter, when the lakes and rivers are bound in ice, vast bodies of geese assemble there. Acres of ground are coverecl, and they storm about their camp like an army of soldiers. Some commamding elevation, far out from shore, beyond the reach of the hunter s gun, is selected. When disturbed, their sentinels blow the alarm, 72 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. and away they go, piping their dismal dirge, until it dies away in the sky. By day-break the next morning, they are on the ground again, as tranquil as though nothing had happened. It is almost impossible to trap these wanderers. Before they establish their quarters, they study the landscape with the eye of a painter. They take a dagucrrian view of ob jects as they are. The log-hut, with its curling smoke the hay-stack crowned with snow the settler s cart tipped up, its tongue pointing toward the North star a goose understands as well as a man. They never blow up nor work destruction. But just try an arti6cial house of boughs, a brush fence, or an entrenchment near their lines. They see the plot at a glance, and draw out of harm s way, and pitch their snowy tents again, beyond its reach. As well chase the fabled island, as a flock of wild geese. Not far below this prairie, near the bank of the river, a venerable mound reared its solitary head. It was thinly covered with oaks, and belonged to Oblivion. It was one of the few feathers that time had cast in his flight, to mark the past, and confuse the present. It looked like a hand reached out from eternity; but whose hand? Aye, whose? Who built it ? When ? Why ? It was filled with all kind of strange things that had been planted there by a busy race who were unable to preserve their own history. Their works had outlived themselves ; but they cannot talk to us, nor tell us what they are, nor who fashioned them. There it stands, gazing dumbly at all who look upon it, a sad lesson to individual pride, or national glory. Venison did not seem quite satisfied with the prospect of catching fish in the little bay. "Taint as it used to be/ sighed the old hunter. * Before the woods were cut down, and them are dams built, said he, l the whole river was alive JIM ASLEEP. 73 with all sorts of fish. In the spring-time the salmon-trout and sturgeon used to come up out of the lakes to feed, but they can t get up any more. They keep trying it every year yet, and thousands on em may be seen packed in below old Jones dam, long bout April, waiting and waiting for ifc to go off. For I s pose they think taint nothing but flood- wood lodged. * Why do n t they climb it ? inquired I. * When the water is very high up, and there arnt much of a riffle there, they will sometimes ; but they can t climb like them speckled trout they 11 go right up a mountain stream, and make nothing on t them fellers beat all nater for going any where. However, as I said somewhere back in my narrative, we made ready for work. We looked around for Jim Buzzard, and found him sitting in the bow of the boat, his legs sprawled out, his head dropped on his chin, his ragged hat cocked on one side, fast asleep. There was an ease and self- abandonment about his appearance that were really beautiful. Jim could sleep any where some people can t. He was never nervous. He never had any spasms about some thing that could never occur. He had no notes falling due no crops in the ground no merchandize on his hands no property, except the little he carried on bis back, and that he did n t really own ; it was given to him he was no candidate for office, and did n t even know or care who was President all administrations were alike to him, for all had treated him well. He never flew into a passion because some persons slandered him, because he had no character to injure. * Hallo, Jim ! I screamed, with my mouth to his ear, the boat is sinking. He gaped", and groaned, and stretched a few times, and 4 74 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. finally opened his eyes, and adjusted his hat, and looking up at me: Let-er sink, then, he replied, we can get-er up agin. Stir around ! stir around, Jim ! I exclaimed ; the fish are waiting for our bait ; out with your pole. He said, /ie^as goin overboard arter fresh-water clams kase they were good with salt, and any body could eat em, and rolling up his breeches, over he went, and moving away down near a sandy beach, he commenced digging his clams- with his feet, and piling them up on shore by his side. Venison and myself dashed our lines overboard. 1 watched every movement of the old hunter. He went through as many ceremonies as a magician working a charra. His * minnys, (minnows,) as he called them, were hooked tenderly at a particular place in the back, so that they might shoot around in the water, without dying in the effort ; liis hook was pointed in a certain direction, so as to catch at the first bite ; he then spit upon the bait, and swinging the line a few times in circles, he threw it far out in the stream. * That 11 bring a bass, pickerel, or something, said he, as it struck the water. Soon the pole bent, and Venison sprang upon it. Pull him out I exclaimed I. Don t never hurry big fish, replied he; let him play round a little ; he 11 grow weak bym-bye, and come right along into the boat, and accordingly, Venison let him play ; he managed the fish with all that refinement in the art that sportsmen know so weH how to appreciate ami enjoy. Sometimes it raced far up the stream, then far down ; and once, as the line brought it u^on a downward trip, it bounded into the air, and turned two or three summersets that shook the silver drops of water from its fins. After a while, it became exhausted, and Venison slowly drew him MY LUCK. 75 into the boat, all breathless and panting ; a famous pickerel, four feet long and * well proportioned. My poles, all this time, remained just where I first placed them not a nibble, as I knew. Some very wicked people I have been informed, swear at fish when they refuse to bite but I did not because I have never been able to see why they were to blame, or why swearing would reform them, if they were. It was no very good reason that they should take hold of one end of my pole and line, because I hap pened to be at the other. Not having much luck with big fish, I concluded to amuse the small fry. So out went my hook ker-slump right down in the midst of a great gathering, who seemed to have met on some business of importance. It was a little curious to watch these finny fellows as they eyed my worm. They swept round it in a circle, a few times, and coming up with a halt, and forming themselves abreast, they rocked up and down from head to tail, as they surveyed the thing. By and by, a perch, a little more venturesome than the rest, floated up by degrees to the bait, his white fins slowly moving back and forth, and carefully reaching out his nose, he touched it, wheeled, and shot like a dart out of sight. In a few minutes he came round in the rear of the company, to await further experiments. Next came the sun-fish, jerk ing along, filled with fire and fury, with a kind of who V afraid sort of look, and striking at my hook, actually caught the tip of the barb, and I turned the fellow topsy-turvy, showing up his yellow to advantage. He left for parts un known. There was a small bass who had strayed into the community, whom I was anxious to coax into trouble, but he lay off on his dignity, near an old root, to see the fun. 1 moved my hook toward him. He shot off and turned head-to, with a no-you-don t sort of air. I took my bait 76 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. from the water and spit on it, but it would n t do. I took it out again, and went through an incantation over it, but I could n t catch him by magic ; and I have no doubt, reader, he is there yet. Venison, every little while, dragged another and another pickerel aboard. Pretty soon we had Jim Buzzard cleaning fish, and packing away in a barrel, with a little sprinkling of salt. I gathered in my lines, arose, and thanked the whole tribe of fish generally and particularly, for their attendance upon me, and promised not to trouble them for a month at least. The sun was waning low, and the shadows of the trees were pointing across the river. The clouds in the west gathered themselves into all kinds of pictures, There was a fleet of ships, all on fire, in full sail, far out at sea ; the fleet dissolved, and a city rose out of its ruins, filled with temples, and domes, and turrets, and divided into streets, up and down which strange and fantastic figures were hur rying. The city vanished, and a pile of huge mountains shot up their rugged peaks, around which golden islands lay anchored, all glowing with light. Away one side, I noticed a grave, corpulent and shadowy old gentleman, astride an elephant, smoking a pipe, and he puffed himself finally away into the heavens, and I have never seen him since a solemn warning lo persons who use tobacco. Venison said : We had better hunt up our camping- ground, for his stomach was getting holler, and he wanted to fill it up. Below us, a sparkling stream put into the river. Just above it, a mile or so, lay a broad lake, which was fed from this same stream it came in from the wilderness. We started for this lake, and wound our way up this little creek THE BEAVERS. 77 amid the struggling shafts of sun-light that hung over it. The water-fowl were hurrying past us, toward the same spot, to take up their night s lodging, and we drove flocks of them ahead as we crowded upon them. The dip of our oars echoed among the shadows. We reached our ground, unloaded our gear and prepared for the night. Venison directed Jim Buzzard to build a " stack" and get supper. So, a pile of stone was laid up, with a flat one across the top, leaving a hole behind for the smoke to escape. Venison knocked over a gray duck on the lake with his rifle, and it was not long before we had four feet of pickerel and that self-same duck sprawled out on the hot stone, frying. Venison was rather gloomy. * This/ said he, makes me think of times gone. I used to camp here all alone, years ago, when there war nt no settlers for miles. I used to catch otter and beaver and rat" and sleep out weeks to a time. But the beaver and otter are gone. * Beaver here ? inquired I. * Why not more n nor a mile or so up this creek, I ve killed piles on em. Why, I seed a company on em, up there, once, of two or three hundred. They com d down one spring and clear d off acres of ground that had grown up to birch sap lings, that they wanted to build a dam with, and there they let the trees lie until August. Then they started to build their houses all over the low water in the mash great houses four or five feet through and they work d in com panies of four or five on a house till they got em done. You jist ought to see em carry mud and stones between their fore-paws and throat, and see em lay it down and slap it with their tails, like men who work with a trowel. Well, said I, about those trees that they cleared off? * When they got em done, then they all jined in to build a dam, to raise up the water, so t would n t freeze up the 78 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. doors of their houses. And then there was a time on t. You might see era by moonlight, pitching in the trees, and swim ming down the stream with em, and laying em in the cur rent of the creek, like so many boys. Pshaw ! said I. 1 Yes, sir ! I seed one night, a lot of beavers drawing one of the biggest trees they had cut. It was more n six inches through. They got it part over the bank, when it stuck fast, Jest the top of the tree was in the water, and there were foiu or five on em sousing round in the water, pulling this waj -nd that, and as many more on the bank jerking at it, until y^m-bye, it went in ker-swash ; the beavers all took hold t, then, and towed it to the dam. And so they really built a dam ? <A dam three feet high, and forty or fifty long all laid i: o with birch trees, and mud and stoyes, so tight, t ain t gon< v .:t. The beaver have gone long ago, but the dam hain t. How did you catch em ? said I. When the fur is good, in the winter, we jest went rounc v ith our ice-chisels and knocked their houses to pieces, whei tway they would go for their washes, as we used to call em where we fastened em in and catch d em. Washes ? what are they ? inquired I. Holes the beavers dig in the bank, partly under water where they can run in and breathe without being seen. Venison was going on to tell me how many beaver skin; he got, but the duck and fish were done, and had been divid ed up by Jim Buzzard, and handsomely laid out on a piec< of clean bark, ready to eat. We ranged ourselves in a row, squat upon the ground lik< so many Turks, drew our hunting-knives, and went to work I looked out upon the lake that lay like a looking-glass draped with gauze, at my feet. Day was dying over it lik CAMPING OUT. 79 a strain of music. One slender bar of light lay trembling along its eastern shore. By and by it crept up the bank ; from that to a mound behind, and from which it took a leap to a hill a mile distant, where it faded and faded into twi light. The water-fowl were screaming among the flags, and . I noticed a belated hawk winging his way through the air on high, to his home in the forest. I coull almost hear the winnowing of his wings in the silent sky, A chick-a-dee-dee earne bobbing and winding down an oak near me, for the purpose of coaxing a supper. The trees began to assume un certain shapes the aims of the oaks stretched out longer and longer. The new moon grew brighter and brighter in the west. There it hung, looking down into the lake. The river sent up its hollow roar, the mists settled thicker and thicker, and solemn night at last came down over the wilder ness. After I had finished my watch of departing day, I looked around for my company. Jim had been stuffing himself for the last half hour, until he had grown as stupid as an over-fed anaconda. His jaws were moving very slowly over the bone of a duck his eyes were drowsy and every now and then, he heaved a long-drawn sigh a kind of melancholy groan over his inability to eat any more. Venison said we must build up our night-fire to keep off the varmints, and accordingly we reared a pile of brush of logs, sot it a-going, made up our bed of withered leaves, ranged ourselves in a circle with our feet turned to the blaze, and were soon lost in sleep. Morn broke over us lovely as ever. As the first gray streaks began to melt away, Venison roused up to get a deer for breakfast. We went out on to a run- way, hid our selves in the bushes, and soon a large buck, his antlers swung aloft, came snuffing and cracking along over the leaves, on 80 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. his way to the lake to take his morning drink. Pop ! and over he went, and soon his saddles were taken out and carried into camp, our stack started, and breakfast prepared. Another day was loitered away among the fish another day, beautiful as the last, we floated over the lake, and threaded the stream that poured into it. At night we found ourselves safely moored at Puddleford, our boat loaded with fish, and my soul filled with a thousand beautiful pictures of nature, that hang there winter and summer, as bright and lovely as life itself. EDUCATION AT THE WEST. 81 CHAPTER VI. Educational Efforts Squire Longbow s Notis The Saterday Kite Ike and the Squire Various Eemarks to the point Mrs. Fizzle and the Temperance Question Collection taken General Result. THERE has been much written in the world about the benefits of education. I am very sure that its importance was not overlooked in Puddleford. I cannot say that the village has ever produced giants in literature, but it has produced great men, comparatively speaking and judging, and very great, if we take the opinion of the Puddlefordians them selves. Some body once said * That in the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed are monarchs, and I suppose it was upon this principle, if we give the maxim a literal construc tion, that Squire Longbow, who had lost an eye, as the read er may recollect, had become elevated to such a pitch among his neighbors. Education, in almost every western community, stands at about a certain level among the masses. That level changes with changing generations, but very seldom among individ uals of the same. I ought perhaps to exclude the Squire, who was an exception to all general rules, and would have undoubtedly distinguished himself any where and under any circumstances. The children of the pioneer, or a portion of them, receive educational advantages, which had been de nied the father, and their children, still greater, until at last the polished statue rises out of the marble in the quarry. But, there were efforts making at Puddleford about the 4* 82 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. time I allude to, to increase the common stock of knowledge, and keep up the general reputation of Puddleford with that of the world, which ought not to pass unnoticed. One day in November, I discovered the following notice posted up in the streets, and nailed to several trees adjacent to the highways in the country : NOTTS To all it may konsarn men, wimmin, and their child ren. Whareas, edication, and knowlidg of all sorts, is very likely to run down in- all knew countrys, owin to a great manny reasons that aint propper to go into this ere notis and whareas many of the habitants of Puddleford and the circumjacint country all round bout it, are in danger of suffering that way And whareas a few of us leading men have thot on the matter, and concluded that sumthing must very soon be did, or til be too late therefore a meeting will be held at the log-chapel next Saterday nite, to raise up the karacter of the people in this respect. (Signed.) SQUIRE LONGBOW and others. On the Saterday nite, mentioned in the above notis, I attended at the log-chapel, for the purpose of raising up the karacter of the people. The gathering was large made up of men and women, and quite a number were in from the country. Squire Longbow, the Colonel, Stub Bulli- phant the landlord of the Eagle, Ike Turtle the pettifogger, Sile Bates his opponent, Charity Beadle, Philista Filkins, Aunt Graves, Sister Abigail, Sonora Brown, and a large number of others made up the meeting. It was very evi dent that something would be done. Pretty soon Ike Turtle rose, gave a loud rap with his fist on the side of the house, GETTING UNDER WAY. 83 and said it was high time this ere body came to order, and he would nominate Squire Longbow for President. You ve heerd the nomination, , continued the Squire, rising slowly from his seat in another part of the house. * You who are in my favor say Aye ! Aye ! exclaimed the house ! Clear vote no use in putting the noes, and Squire Longbow took his stand in the pulpit, and proceeded : Feller-citizens, ladies and gentlemen, all on you who are here, just keep still while I thank you. We have cum up here on a pretty big business neither more nor less than edication. P raps you do n t all on you know that edication makes every body and every thing it made our forefathers, it made some of us, and is a going to make our children, if we do our duty. You have made me President on this occasion, and it is my duty to thank you, and feller-citizens, you do n t, you can t, no man can tell how I feel when Here Ike Turtle rose : Squire Longbow, said Ike, ar n t it rather on-parliamentary to be speaking when you hain t got no secretary to take things down ? The Squire was thunderstruck. * No secretary ! he ex claimed, no secretary ! all void ! but I 11 appoint Sile Bates secretary tunk pro nunclc, (nunc pro tune) as we say in law, and that 11 save proceedings and as I was saying, contin ued the Squire, * no man can tell how I feel, pressed down as I am with the responsibility that you have thrown on to me. The Squire then took his seat. Ike Turtle rose, again, to state the object of the meeting. He said he was an old residenter, and he had in fact grown up with the country. He had seed every thing go ahead except edicatiou. Taking out the President, members of the lamed professions, the school-master, and the man who 84 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. tended Clewes grocery, there war n t hardly a person of edication left. Now, continued Ike, warming up, this should n t orter be we should all set about de-tar-mined to do something ( Amen ! groaned Father Beals.) Why, if it looks dark, feller citizens, remember the dark days of the revolution, when the soldiers went roaming about, with a piece of corn-bread in one hand, nothing in t other, with ragged uniforms on, and little or no breeches, yet all the while busting with patriotism. Jest turn your eyes back wards on to them times, and you 11 think you re in paradise. Something s got to be did for edication. We Ve got to have a Lyceum, a library, and lecters on all the subjects of the day. (Here Aunt Graves gave a groan, as she expected all this would be accomplished by taxation.) Do n t groan over yender, exclaimed Ike, * t aint right to groan at a new thing just a-starting might as well groan down a child for fear he would n t be a man. Yes, they must be had I say they must ! or we 11 all run to seed, and die. Why, Chris topher Columbus, men and women, how many on you do n t know your right hand from your left, scientifically speaking, and bym-bye we shall go to ruin as old Nineveh did. Mr. President, I move that a collection be taken for the gineral purposes of this meeting. I was a little puzzled to determine whether Ike was serious or not. With all his eccentricities, he was a good citizen, and always put his shoulder to the public wheel. When he made his motion to take up a collection, a dead calm fell upon the audience. After a few moments, Sile Bates rose, and said He * hoped this spectable meeting war n t going to Peter- out. The calm continued. Squire Longbow stepped forward LECTURES PROPOSED. 85 from his seat in the pulpit, and remarked : * That he could n t see what difference it would make a thousand years hence whether they did any thing, or whether they did n t. A man from the country did n t know what money had to do with edication. The Colonel said his pockets were as dry as a powder- house. One old lady thought some body d have to sign for her fore spring. Aunt Graves thought that poor folks, who liv d on bil d vittels, had n t orter be called on. The hat was, however, passed around, and three dollars and seventy-five cents raised, ( for the general purposes of the meeting, according to Ike s motion ; and I will say here that this amount was appropriated toward the purchase of books for the Puddleford library, which was established at this meeting, and which has now grown into usefulness and importance. The hat was reached up to the secretary, who gave it a couple of shakes, declaring at the same time, that he was * happy to say that the public spirit of Puddleford had n t gin out yet. Squire Longbow then rose and said : That some plan must be laid to get up a set of lecters. There were three great sciences, law, preaching, and physic law consarned property, physic consarned the body, and preaching consarned the soul. These sciences must be scattered, so every body could enjoy em. He could talk on law himself, and Bigelow could on preaching, and physic was understood, any way. There were other subjects which would come up in their order. There was paintin , and poetry, and music but them war n t of no account in a new country where money was skase. Politics was one of the uncertain sciences, and 86 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. it did n t do much good to speak on t, any how. A feller might study and study, and jest likely as not the next elec tion would blow him into fiddle-strings. Yet politics had got to be had, cause that was what kept the country alive, arid made liberty grow. Old Gineral AVashington himself had a little on t. He said t was one etarnal job to start edication, but jist get the thing a-goin once, and it ll move off like ile it ll run rite off like a steam ingin. Ike said he know d a curtain lecterortwo might be had, looking round at Stub Bulliphant. They war n t the worst kind nother. They d bring a man all up standing, when nothing else would. He d seen a fellow cave right in under one on em, and come out as cow d as a whipt spaniel. About lectering on politics, he did n t know. He guessed the bushes were a little too thick to talk on that, yet. He hoped the meetin would speak right out, and spress their feelings , wimmin and all. Old Mrs. Fizzle had been watching the movement of this august body for some time, and had thought, several times, that it was her duty to speak. When Ike, therefore, invited * women and all, she concluded to try it. She was a tall, weazel-faced looking person, and belonged to Bigelow s church. She was an out-and-out temperance woman, and had kept all Puddleford hot by her efforts to put down the sale of intoxicating drinks. She was a fiery, nervous, active, good sort of a woman. Mrs. Fizzle rose. She said she thought she would give this meeting a piece of her mind, consarnin things in general. She did n t know but the meetin was well enough she lik d meetins she said she did n t care nothin about politics, never did her any good as she know d on she didn twarnt to hear any lecters any way bout that. If some on em would talk bout tem perance, she d turn out, and give a little something to help MRS. FIZZLE. - 87 the cause along. She said if she really thought that this meeting could stop Clewes from selling licker, she d tend it reg lar. Certainly, ma am, said Ike, rising, and turning his eyes toward Mrs. Fizzle. We 11 put a ^abus corpus on to him fore breakfast to-morrow morning. Mrs. Fizzle said, she did n t know what that was, and she did n t care much, if twould only he-Id him tight. Ike said, * it would hold him couldn t break it no how it was made by the law to catch just such chaps with. Wai, said Mrs. Fizzle, if the law made it, I m fraid on t. I ve hearn tell how folks creep through holes the law leaves. I do n t like your scorpus, as you call it. Squire Longbow rose. * He felt it his duty to say, that a writ of habus scorpus would hold any thing on airth. It was one of the biggest writs in all nater. He could hold all Clewes grocery with one on em. He felt it his duty fur ther to say this as a magistrate, who was bound by his oath to take care of the law. Mrs. Fizzle * thought that would do. She had great spect for the Squire s opinion and she now thought she d go in for the meeting Sile Bates said, For his part, he thought the meetin was getting a good deal mixed. * Every tub orter stand on its own bottom, as the Apostle Paul, Shakspeare, John Bunyan or some other person said. We can t do every thing all at onst ; if we try, we can t make -the Millennium come until t is time for t. We can kinder straighten up matters hold on to the public morals a little more and give edication a punch ahead. But who knows any thing about the sciences in Puddleford ? and who can lecter ? When the blind lead the blind, as the newspapers say, * they all go head over heels into the ditch. Great Csesar Augustus, Mr. President, jist 88 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. think of a lecter on stronomy, that etarnal science, which no man can lay his hands on, which the human intellect gets at by figuring. Just think of Bigclow Van Slyck, Ike Turtle, or you, Mr. President, measuring the distance to the stars. Do n t it make your head swim, to think on t ? He would n t say that the Squire could n t lay down the law for the people, cause he made most on t, and ought to know it by heart. (The Squire gave a loud cough, and straightened himself in his seat.) As for licker, he always was agin it, that is, he never touch d it except in haying, harvesting, husking, and occasionally, a little along, between, when he did n t feel right. He s posed he was a strict temperance man was secretary of a teetotal society once, but it died out for want of funds to keep up lights and fires. He hop d this meetin would n t get so much on its shoulders, as to Vreak down fore it got started. There were several more speeches and suggestions made. There were two or three on the floor at once, several times during the progress of business. Order was out of the question. A course of lectures was finally decided upon, and the meeting adjourned. The reader will not forget that the end had in view by this rough, deliberate body was noble ; and, in their own way, they moved along steadily to ward it. Such a people do not forget their duty, however ludicrously the discharge of it may be at first. Looking back from the present, over a period of ten years, at the proceedings of this meeting and its results, I feel quite disposed to write down Squire Longbow, Ike Turtle, and Sile Bates, among the philanthropists of the age. SOME OF THE OLD SETTLERS. 89 CHAPTER VII. Social War Longbow, Turtle & Co. Bird, Swipes, Beagle & Co. Mrs. Bird Mrs. Beagle Mrs. Swipes Turkey and Aristocracy Scandal Husking-bees, and such like the Calathumpian Band the Horse-fiddle the Giant Trombone the G-yastacutas Tuning up Unparalleled Effort Puddleford still a representative place. I HAVE taken the liberty, in the preceding chapters, to speak freely of some of the leading characters of Puddleford. I have alluded to Longbow, Turtle, and Bigelow, not be cause they were the only people of the village, or the best ; but because they were the rudder of society, and steered it along in the same way that ships are guided over stormy waters. Now, there were a great many more very excellent folks, who helped chink in and fill up around these more im portant personages, and make up a harmonious whole. Zeke Bird, the blacksmith, was one ; Tom Beagle, the shoemaker, another ; Lem. Swipes, the tailor, still another. These men were among the first settlers of Puddleford, and had done as much toward its up-building as any other. They had immigrated from a place in Ohio, and consequently knew something about the world. All three families were cousins, or second cousins, to one another, and they acted in unison upon any public or social question. They hated, with a supreme hatred, Longbow, Turtle & Co., because they were aristocrats. Mrs. Bird, who was a very impulsive, peak-nosed sort of a woman, and who al- wore a red flannel petticoat protruding beyond her 90 PUQDDEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. dress, and her shoes slip-shod, used to often say, that if there was any thing she did despise it was a stick-up. She did n t believe old Mrs. Longbow, or any of her darters were any better than common folks ; and she d see the whole pack on em pumpin lightning at two cents a clap, before she d skrouch to em ! Mrs. Beagle was quite a different body. She was not so full of fire and fury as Mrs. Bird. She did n t allow her feelings to get the advantage of her malice. She moved more underground ; yet she was always busy pecking away at that * up-street clique, as she called them. Mrs. Beagle was a neat, tidy body, and wore an air of great sincerity about her face. She used to say that * no thing grieved her so much as to be compelled to believe any thing bad bout her neighbors, and that she never spoke of nothing till it got all over, and there war n t no use of hold ing in any longer. She made it her business to watch the morals and religion of all the Longbows, and Turtleses, and Bateses, and report accordingly. She said she did n t know but it was all right for a member of the Methodist church, like Miss Lavinia Turtle, to wear three bows to her bonnet on Sunday she didn t know she warn t going to say haps she had n t orter say but the way she looked at religion t was as wicked as Cain for herself, she made no preten sions, but when folks did, she wanted to see em lived up to. She said, she meant to have Mrs. Bates turned out of the church for riding out on Sunday, for she d seen her several times with her own eyes, six miles from town ; but she would n t speak of it, if it wa n t such a scandal on her pro fession ; besides, she had it from good authority, that she water d her milk fore she sold it, but she would n t say who told her, cause she promised not to. Mrs. Swipes was a fat, blouzy-facecl, coarse, ignorant wo- CLIQUES AND CENTRES 91 man, and revenged herself by firing bomb-shells into the aristocratic camp every opportunity she could get, and cared but little what she said, or whom she hit, if she could only keep the enemy stirred up. She d heard that Mrs. Long bow s father got into jail once down in Pennsylvania, and that the hull batch on em were as poor as Job s turkey ; and that the old Squire himself had a pretty tight nip on t ; but his friends bailed him out, and he lean d for the west. As for Mrs. Bates, she knew she d lie, right flat out she d catch d her dozens of times ; and, of course, Lavinia could n t be any betterfor as the old cock crows, the young one learns. She would n t swap characters with any on em, not she. The husbands of these ladies thought just about as much of Longbow & Co. as their wives did. They were an indolent trio, and labored only enough to keep soul and body together. The rest of their time was devoted to the Eagle tavern, street-lounging, and commentaries upon the daily developments of the aristocracy. Each one of the families of these cliques were social centres, around which others revolved, and drew all their light and heat. And then there were still other families, away down below the Birds and Beagles in the scale of respectability, who were ever warring upon them, proving " That fleas have other fleas to bite em, And so on, ad infinitum." I recollect attending a party one evening during the win ter, at Bird s, when the aristocracy took a regular broadside fire. It seemed that Longbow, some clays previous, had a turkey on his table for dinner, which roused up all the wrath of his adversaries. Mrs. Bird said, she really s posed that he thought poor people could n t have such things ; 92 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. but she d let him know she d lived on turkeys before he ever know d there was such a thing and she had good sass with era too. Mrs. Longbow, she said, cooked it for nothing in the world, but to make her knuckle to her ; but she d never give in as long as she drew the breath of life that she would n t ! Mrs. Sonora Brown said, that warn t all Longbow had bo t a bran new carpet for down-stairs, and used sales-mo lasses for common, every, most every day and the dark in Clewes grocery had got a goin arter Lavinny every night and Mrs. Longbow had got mift at Mrs. Weazel, because Weazel said he wouldn t stand any more of Longbow s decisions and they d got a burning sperm ile in the house instead-er taller and they were a puttin on the drefulest sight of airs, old woman and all, that ever was seen. Mrs. Beagle said it was all true about the ile she see d it burn through the winder and she d seen a great many more things through the winder, but she warn t a going to tell what they were ! Mrs. Sonora Brown threw up her hands in horror, and said, she had always suspected it, but darsn t say so. Oh, shaw ! exclaimed Mrs. Beagle ; that s nothing to Bates wife; she walks out arm-in-arm in broad daylight with her cousin that s been sneaping round there on a visit. She said, Puddleford used to be a spectable village, but there warn t any morals any more since these high-flyers had got into it and she guess d Bates wife was flaring out, and trading at the stores as much as Longbow. Mr. Bird very grumly said, he d better hold in, for if he did n t Jdst a little note he had again him fore long, he d sue him to judgment, and level an execution on every thing he had, and clean him out. A yellow-looking woman, who sat in the corner, and who COUNTRY AMUSEMENTS. 93 had just before remarked that she d had the shakin ager onto her all winter, wanted to know if the new merchant was going to jine the upper crust, or be one of our folks. It was not long, however, before all were rattling away together, so that nothing but the emphatic words could be distinguished. Artillery, fire-arms, and all, were blazing. Such a scorching as the aristocracy received had hardly ever been equalled. Longbow & Co. did not care for their enemies. They rather felt proud of the notice bestowed upon them. Ike Turtle used to say, t was fun to stand and take the fire of fools ; but Squire Longbow s dignity was so profound, that he never permitted himself to know that there was really any war going on. Society in the country, among the farmers, was quite another thing. Puddleford village had a country, and vil lage pride looked down upon it, just as it does in larger places. The amusements and frolics of the country were more simple and hearty. In the winter, husking-bees, apple- parings, and house-warmings were held every week at some of the farm-houses. Great piles of corn were stacked up in barn, the girls and boys invited in for miles around, long poles run through, strung with lanterns, and the husking rushed through, mid songs and jokes. Then all hands ad journed to the house, and drank * hot stuff, eat nuts, and played games, and stormed around, until they started the very shingles on the roof; while the great fire-place, piled up with logs into the very throat of the chimney shook its shadows around the room in defiance of the winds that roared without. Now and then, the country quality held a regular blow out at Bulliphant s tavern. On these occasions, dancing commenced at two in the afternoon, and ended at day-light 94 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. next morning. Dry goods and perfumery suffered abou those days. The girls and boys dressed their hair with oi of cinnamon and wintergreen, and the Eagle smelt like ai essence shop. It fairly overpowered the stench of Bulli phant s whiskey-bottles. Every one rigged out to within ai inch of their lives. The girls wore ruffles on their panta lettes frizzled down over their shoes, nearly concealing th whole foot ; and all kinds and colors of ribbons streame< from their heads and waists. The boys mounted shirt collars without regard to expense, and flaunted out thei brass breast-pins, two or more to each, with several fee of watch-chain jingling in front. -The landlord of the Eagl termed these gatherings his winter harvest. Another amusement, frequent in the country, was the turn out of the Calathumpian Band. The band, I am aware did not originate with Puddleford. Newly-married couple were serenaded before it ever had an existence there. Bu this band was one of the very finest specimens. No on knew exactly who its members were ; but they were alway on hand, soon after a wedding, in full uniform, with all thei instruments in order. It was organized when the countr was very new, and was, at the period I refer to, in the high est state of prosperity. One of its instruments was called the horse-fiddle; another the giant trombone; another the gyastacutas. The horse-fiddle was two enormous bows, made of hoops heavily stringed and rosined, with a beef-bladder, fully in flated, pushed between the string and the bow. The grea trombone was a dry-goods box, turned bottom-side up, an< was played upon with a scantling eight or ten feet Jong The edge of the box and the scantling were rosined, and i was worked by two men sawing up and down. The gyas tacntas was a nail-keg, with a raw hide strained over it, lik< THE CALATHUMPiAN BAND. 95 a drum-head, and inside of the keg, attached to the centre of this drum-head, a string hung, with which this instrument was worked by pulling in the string and let fly. Besides all these, the band were supplied with dinner-horns, conch- shells, sleigh-bells, and sometimes guns and pistols. It assembled, usually about eleven o clock at night, around the quarters of the newly-married couple, and within a day or two after marriage. Its members were dressed up like an army of scare-crows. Some wore their shirts outside, some their coats and vests buttoned behind, and some were attired in female dress. Its leader marched and countermarched this strange medley, and announced and conducted all the music. The band never moved without orders it was thoroughly disciplined. The instruments were first put in tune. The trombone gave out a low and heavy growl the gyastacutas, ! a bung ! the horse- riddle sullenly replied a chink-chink from a few pairs of bells, and a toot-e-toot from the horns and shells, showed the blast was near at hand. And such a blast. The infernal regions could not equal it. It roared and echoed for miles around. It fairly tore out the inside of one s head. The cows bellowed and the dogs barked, honestly believing that the dissolution of all things was at hand. The whole surrounding population roused up, for no person pretended to sleep when the Great Calathump- ian Band was assembled. The reader must not suppose that this band was a mere congregation of boys. Not by any means ; it was one of the institutions of the country one of the public amusements of the day, and was patronized by young and old. Men had lived and died members of the Calathumpian Band, and are remembered in Puddleford for this, if nothing else. It is said that the songs and the amusements of a people 96 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. determine their character. If this be true, the reader can judge something of the country population about Puddle- ford from the little sketch I have given of them. The amusements of the villagers themselves were quite mis cellaneous. The aristocracy, as Bird & Co. termed them, gathered every night at the Eagle, where they played cards, checkers, back-gammon, made bets, discussed the affairs of the nation and the private affairs of their neighbors, drank a little whiskey, and went home at eleven or twelve o clock deeply impressed with their own importance. Bulliphant s bar-room was their centre of gravity, and it was a matter of deep concern, if any member of the club was not found in his accustomed place. Longbow, Turtle and Bates had actually unseated several pairs of pantaloons on the land lord s chairs, which proved clearly enough that they were faithful members. Important business was transacted by this club. It made all the justices of the peace, constables, school inspectors, &c., &c., and was a controlling clique, in all political matters, within the township. The reader discerns that Puddleford, in most respects, was like other places. It had its divisions in society, its im portance, its pomp and show, and relatively speaking, its aristocracy. It played through the same farce in a small way that larger places do on a more extended plan. Long bow felt just as omnipotent, walking up and down the streets of Puddleford, as the tallest grandee treading a city pave ment. The scale of greatness was not as long in his village, but he stood as high on it as any other man in the world on his and so long as he headed his own scale, it mattered but little to him where the * rest of mankind were. It must have been a very remarkable character who once said, * human nature is always the same that the only dif- PUDDLEFORD AND HUMAN NATUIIE. 97 ference in human pride and folly is one of degree. And I really hope there are none of my readers who feel disposed to look down upon Puddleford with contempt, because I have presented a few personages who have innocently carica tured what others daily practice, who have been polished in the very laboratory of fashion. Puddleford ought not, for that reason, to be condemned. It seems to me that it may, on the contrary, be a lesson to such, because it makes a bur lesque of itself in chasing folly. Puddleford is a great looking-glass, which reflects the faces of almost every person who looks into it, and proves, what that remarkable charac ter said, * that human nature is always the same. 9S PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE CHAPTER VIII. Puddleford and Politics Higgins against "Wiggins the Candidates Personale Their Platforms Delicate Questions Stump-speak ing Wiggins on Higgins Impertinent Interruptions Higgins on Wiggins Ike Turtle not dead yet Commotion Squire Longbow restores order Grand Stroke of Policy The Koast Ox at Gillett s Corners. PUDDLEFORD was famous for its political excitements, and so indeed is a new country generally. Its people watched the altar of liberty with an eternal vigilance. The quali fications of all persons, from a candidate for the presidency down to township constable, were thoroughly canvassed by the electors. What might be a qualification for office in Puddleford, might disqualify in another region, but we can not expect that all men will think alike. We must not for get that office meant something in Puddleford that it con ferred honor on the man, whether the man conferred honor on it or not. A highway commissioner, or overseer of the poor was a character looked up to, and a supervisor or justice were the oracles of their neighborhood. The merits and demerits of candidates were freely dis cussed at public meetings, held most usually in the open air, and composed of all parties. Aspirants for public favor, who were opposed to each other, met and made and answered arguments. All things in the heavens above and the earth beneath, were raked up and presented at these gatherings. The creation of the world Adam and Eve Cain Jerusalem Greece and Home the Revolution, WIGGINS AND II1GGINS. 99 and the Last War, were dragged into speeches, and made material for electioneering. In the fall, subsequently to my settlement, Higgins run against Wiggins for member of tlie Legislature. It was said that this was one of the most exciting contests that Puddleford ever experienced. Every man, woman, and child were enlisted. The Higgins men 1 didn t speak to the * Wiggins men, nor the Wiggins men to the * Higgins men, for more than two months, and the opposing families absolutely refused to visit. Wiggins was a little, waspish man, who lived in the coun try, and was called a forehanded farmer. He had been a justice of the peace in Cattaraugus county, State of New- York, and thought as much of -himself as he did of any other person living. He had a small, withered face, which looked like a frost-bitten apple, red hair, and a quick, rest less eye. He was a violent politician, a shrewd manager, had a keen insight of human nature, some humor, and was and always had been & red-hot democrat. He rafted lum ber for several years on the Susquehanna, where he re ceived the greatest part of his education. He could write his name, and had been known to attempt a letter, but no one was ever yet found who could read his correspond ence. His orthography was decidedly bad. He spelled in a sort of short-band way, which was not so objectionable, after all, as his language usually conveyed the pronunciation of the words intended. * IP was used for ile or oil ; hos stood for horse ; kanderdit for ofis, for candidate for office, and so on. His extemporaneous speaking was quite tolerable, and it was this gift which had given him notoriety. Higgins was a man much after the sort of Wiggins, in many respects, though, not altogether. He was a violent 100 FUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. whig, and talked incessantly about his glorious party. He was a large, tall, broad-breasted fellow, ignorant, cunning, and cut something of a swagger wherever he went. He drank whiskey, chewed a paper of fine-cut every day, read the newspapers, cursed the locofocos, prognosticated the downfall of the country, and pledged himself to die game, let what would happen. These candidates for office had a platform/ a part of which was intended for Puddleford, and a part for their com mon country some planks of which were thrown in merely to catch votes, and some for future fame. Wiggins said he was for giving immortal man full swing inter all things, and letting his natur fly loose like the winds ! He was for driving the American eagle inter every land, whether she d go or not. He was * for a railroad and canal straight thro Puddleford, to be built by the State, under the penalty of a revolution. He was agin rich men every where, for they trampled down the- poor. He was * for upsetting Longbow and his clique, and declared he would bring in a bill, if elected, that would blow the whole set out of sight. He was for easy times/ plenty of cash, little or no work, good crops, and every thing else the people wanted. Higgins was for breaking down, and scat ring loco-focos every where. He went for every thing that s right, and again every thing that s wrong. He was for beating Wig gins. He could show that he had n t patriotism enough to keep the breath warm in a four year old child ! there war n t a spark of American glory in him. He wanted to sell out the whole country to the British, and would if elected,! Beside, he kicked up a fuss in Bigelow s church, about the doctrines preached, and damaged religion. Higgins, it seemed to me, based his success upon the supposed unpopularity of Wiggins, and not upon any political 1 principles of his own, THE GR^VE MEETING. 101 while Wiggins relied upon the great fundamental truths that were shadowed forth in his platform. There were other questions which agitated the populace of Puddleford, and its county, such as the sale of liquor, the removal of the Indians, &c., &c., which both Higgins and Wiggins touched very tenderly, because it became necessary to advocate both sides, sometimes for and sometimes against, according to the views of those persons who happened at the "time to be soliciting information. During the fall, I had the pleasure of hearing these two rival aspirants for office define their position before the peo- pie. The gathering was in a grove, very large for a new country, and made up of men, women, and children. Flags and inscriptions were flying here and there, some for Higgins and some for Wiggins, and every person was as brimful of patriotism as he could hold. Wiggins rose, and presented himself on a high platform that had been erected for the occasion, pulled up his collar, buttoned his coat, coughed a few times, and then took a leisurely survey of the crowd. * Feller citizens ! men and women ! said he, there is going to be an election, and I m a-going to run for office. Not that I care any thing about the office itself, for I do nt, a tinker s ladle, but I wan t to beat Higgins, who never ought to be trusted with the liberties of any people, and I m willing to sacrifice some thing to do it. Feller citizens ! I wan t to have you recollect where Higgins lives at Satan s-Half acre ! where they don t have any fourth of July ; no Sunday-school, only about two months a year ; and the same place, feller citizens, where they mobbed the temperance lecturer, and swore they d drink streak-lightning if they were a-min-to ! (Great applause, and cheers for Wiggins, mingled with oaths and hisses from Hig gins friends.) Feller citizens, Higgins is a leading man there, 102. . , . ;P_l7I>BkEFOIlD AND J.TS PEOPLE. and accountable for all this ; and if he is elected, we shall indorse all these doings ? (a man from the * Half-acre, one of Higgins friends, rose, and said he 7 d take the liberty of saying that was an in/arnal lie. ) Wiggins replied, by in quiring if the meeting* would see free discussion gagged down, here, in the presence of the immortal Washington, who, he hoped, was looking down on-to usi whereupon the unfortunate man was pitched, headlong, out of the crowd. Arter having looked at where Higgins lives, continued Wiggins, look at Higgins himself! what is he? what does he know ? what can he do ? Why, feller citizens, he was born down somewhere in a place so small, that it ain 7 t on tbe map, and started life by tending a lime-kiln ; but he broke down in this business, and was discharged. He next tried to go to school, but there warn t any class low down enough to get him into. He then tried boss r cloct ring, and you, feller citizens, know when a man turns out good-for-nothing, he goes rite into the lamed professions. He tried hoss-doct ring ! and, after laying out ten or a dozen of those noble animals, inter the cold embrace of death, (Applause) be ran away to get rid of a summons that was clus arter him ! Then he fid dled for a while winters, and laid off summers ; then he druv stage, then be got-tor-be captain of a raft, his first office, but be stranded her, and she s never been got off yet. At last, he went to Satan s Half-acre, where he thinks he aiir t known, and actually, feller citizens, has the impudence to come up for office. (Great Applause.) * Now, continued Wiggins, having disposed of Higgins, I am going to launch out on the great political questions of the day questions that swell up in me, and fairly make me tremble all over, to think on. We Ve a mighty sight to do, to take care of them liberties that was queathed to us by Gen ral Washington, jest before he died. The old here* THE FIRST AND SECOND WHIGS. 103 know d he was a-going, but afore lie went, lie give us our liberty, and said all that lie asked on us, was to take care on it, and not let any body steal or coax it away from us, but always hold on to it like a dog to a root. If it had nt been for our party, exclaimed Wiggins, in a loud voice, * that great American eagle that has flew d so long, and kivered our juvenil years with his wings that eagle, fuller citi zens, that sleeps on the ragin tornado, and warms himself in the sun that eagle, I say that eagle ! eagle ! would now be as dead as a smelt, lying on his back, a-groaning for help. -(Great applause, and three cheers.) (Wiggins said he hoped the audience would hold in their manifestations of applause, as much as they could, as it scattered his thoughts.) The fust whig, continued Wiggins, that we have any notis on in his try, is the old feller with tail and horns, who goes to and fro, up and down the airth ; and he, you know, stole all-er Job s property, killed off his children, and came pretty near killing the old man himself. The next was John Adams, who did n t want any body to come into the country, nor say nothing after they had got here. He, feller citizens, was for exploding all the glories of natur, and drying up the etar- nal fountains of hope and consolation for turning man back again into the regions of confusion, where all is night and misery ! (Very great applause, followed by a flight of hats in the air.) The next whig, was every body that sup ported old John, such as Higgins and his party. Now, feller citizens, what s the reason you hain t got any more money ? It s because the laws ain t right. Man was born to have enough of every thing. This is a big world we live in it ram fys itself all round the quator, and its mountains diversify themselves into infinity. You own your part on t just as much as the greatest nabob ; and all you Ve got to do is to stand up to 1 ^ I PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. the rack, vote for true men, and you ll got it ; and it s your duty to riso in your wrath, break the chains of oppression, and doolaiv that you 11 never lay down tho sword until tho last enemy is routed. 1 (More applause.) Here a solemn-faced man rose, and askod Wiggins to doiiuo himself on tho liokor question. Thank you, sir, replied \Yiggins * w:is just eoniin to that. * The licker question tlie liokor question, oontinuod Wiggins, speaking with gra\ ity. tor thoro was a greal division of opinion among h is hearers on that subjoot the lioker question, feller cit.i/.ens, is a <jn\it question. Some people drink, some don t some drink a little, some a *ood deal. The lieker question is a question that a groat many (oiks talk about / talk about it myself, and (the same man rose again, and ask d Wiggins it he would vote a^in liekor T Wiggins said it throw M him otV his balaiuv. to be disturb M in public speaking ) every body know d how he stood on that pint he M never ehang d; he stood whore his forefathers did; he went the whole hog on the liokor question ( which side ; inquired the man) whieh side I whieh side r ejaculated Wign ins do you want-OF trammel up a free and itmY/ pendent oil i. on of this mighty ropublio ! How do 1 know. here, what 1 shall be oalled upon to vote/, /- or ^04/ A>k me to say I ll vote again some thing that hain t come up yet ! When Pavid knocked over the great giant Itoliah. do you spose he knew just where he M throw the stone to hit him ( yes-sir-ec, exclaimed .s springing on his feet, he did that very thing ) ^ MS hoped order would be preserved. I shall leave to the expansive development of the times. continued Wi^ins, his arms living like a windmill, the bla/.ing energies of the day. and cling to the vonstitution till it goes out inter the ex piring regions of oblivion/ ( Three cheers wore given.) Wiggins s.it down, evidently quite exhausted: and I CKNTI.K SI AKKINC. 105 rnns noticed that he had taade a decided impression. Hi; rose, stripped olVhis coat ami vest, rolled up his sliirt-sloevo, st utied n quarter paper of tobacco into liis chook, and ascended tin* platform. 7 II* said he was a humble cih/.en, and war nl com M of rich or lamed folks ho had tended lime-kiln - he hud doctor M I losses ho had druv stage; and he v\as goin to drive, and doctor :i jackass. (Much cheering.) He had always worked for his living. lleM give five dollars to any man who M tell him where Wiggins was bom, or show that he, ever did any tiling, lie lived on the sweat, and the Hood, and the brains of the peo ple. He d tended grocery, peddled ealiekers, try d to talk law once, and was now on alarm, jusl. for appearance sake. For himself, he was a humble link in the great, whig chain. ( Ike Turtle said he sposed he was that, link called the AV/V/T/.) Higgins, with an atVeeted pleasantry, asked Turtle "how long it was since he run M away from the State of New-York, for debt? Turtle replied, that, 4 Wiggins ought, to know, for he was along with him whereupon, a tremendous shout was raised in favor of Turtle. Uiggins rallied and proceeded. Ho said he war n t goin to talk about the devil, and John Adams ho didn t know nothing about either on em it was entirely agin his religion to speak of such things be fore such a sped able audience. (Some sensation.) What lie wanted to do was, to carry the gr6at, ctor-nal, glorious, principles of his party rite strait inter every mortal being, and save tho country, which now lies bleeding at its last, gasp. (Ike asked Iliggins to throw him down a bundle of them principles, and if they suited him, he VI take a few. ) Somebody told Turtle to sit down, whereupon Turtle appealed to the crowd, and inquired if they d see a citizen gagged down. (No ! no 1 was the, reply.) 106 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Higgins went on. He said Wiggins war n t so near straight on the lickcr question as his yaller dog at hum, for his dog never got drunk, and Wiggins did, sometimes. ( That s a lie ! exclaimed Wiggins.) Of course he 11 deny it, feller citizens I would, if I was in his place but I, feller citizens, without fear of man ; not caring about an election, step forth, and say to you all, in the full blaze of day, that I ll do all for the cause that lies in my power, having in view the interests of every body in this republic. (Ap plause.) Higgins said that he was sorry to see such a man as Wiggins trying to quote Scripter to this audience a man, feller citizens, is Wiggins who don t know whether David was the son of Goliah, or Goliah the son of David a man who do n t know whether Paul wrote the book of Genesis, or Genesis the book of Paul a swearin man, feller citi zens ; and yet, he talks about Goliah throwing stones at David. (Wiggins wished to correct Higgins it was the other way David threw the stone at Goliah.) Howsom- ever, continued Higgins, he talks about the stones bein? thrown, and uses the Scripters in this way ; and arn t it a vile way, feller citizens, to catch your votes to run himself into the legislater with, where he can knock over the liberties of the country, and make the green fields a howlin waste agin ! (This was followed by very great applause.) After the applause ceased, Ike Turtle rose, with gravity, and reaching forth a bottle toward Higgins, inquired if * he would n t ham a little, as natur could n t bear up long under such rackin thoughts. Higgins said he .did n t believe this free and highly moral and religus audience would long stand a party who d throw a jug of licker inter their faces. .IKE ON HAND. 107 Turtle replied that it was a mere experiment. He bro t it on -purpos to see if there was any place were Wiggins luould n t drink. (This raised a shout.) Wiggins retorted by saying that * he never had made a walking grocery of himself. (Much laughter.) Turtle didn t know about that if he did he carried it inside. The whole meeting finally got into a commotion, each party taking sides. Squire Longbow set up a hue and cry, In the name of the People of and order was re stored. I heard him say, after the crowd had become quiet, that the constitution guaranteed talking, and altho he was on t o ther side in politics, he must say, as a magistrate, that it guaranteed Higgins the floor, as the great Story decided in his chapter on Rows and Mobs. Higgins bowed to Squire Longbow, and proceeded. I m not goin to say much more, and, finally, feller citizens, he continued, * I won t say any more. The audience is so intel ligent, understand so well all the principles of gov-ment, from Noah s family that sailed inter the ark, down to the remotest possibility of futer gen rations have so weigh d every thing longing to em, before the morning stars sang, and dirgested it by piece-meal that it would be an everlasting insult for me to attempt to talk furder and in conclusion I will say : Three cheers for the dying heroes who got our freedom, and who now lie a-sleeping on the shores of glory ! (Tremen- tfo.us applause, accompanied by cheers and swinging of hats.) I have given, I believe, the substance of the first two speeches, but these were only introductory to those that fol lowed. It was expected, when the meeting opened, that the speaking would occupy most of the day, and the specimens \yhich I have reported, were merely straws thrown out to de termine which way the wind blew, The real questions 108 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. at issue were dexterously dodged by sallies of wit, and flights of unmeaning bombast. Wiggins mounted the stand again, and spoke for an hour. He told a large number of humorous stories, and turned their point against Higgins then he sailed away into the clouds astride a burst of nonsense then he came down again. At one time, while Wiggins was cavorting in the upper regions, as Turtle called it, Sile Bates, who was a whig, started to his feet, and placing his closed hand to one eye, and cocking the other, he stared away after him, as earnestly as if he were just passing out of sight. Higgins followed, and the speak ing was kept up, alternately, until about four o clock in the afternoon, when the meeting closed, without either Higgins or Wiggins defining their position, or saying one word indi cative of their future political course. Just as the meeting closed, Ike Turtle, who was the real political manager on the part of the democratic party, rushed up to the speaker s stand, and swinging his hat round, cried out at the top of his lungs : Feller citizens ! The democratic party knowin that the speaking would last a good while, and that natur might become exhausted in listenin and tending to the duties of our common country, have pre pared a roasted ox, down at Gillett s Corners/ with all the fixins , where we want you all to go, whigs and democrats both Higgins and Wiggins, and particularly the ladies, who have turned out so nobly and the young folks can have a dance in the evening, if they wish. Here was a stroke of management worth all the speeches of the day. No one suspected that there was a dinner in preparation, and when Ike made the announcement, there was a shout that came from the heart, and made the woods ring. And the meeting adjourned to * Gillett s Corners. GRATIFYING RESULT. 109 Several other public political gatherings were held, and a very large amount of breath, time, and eloquence were ex pended ; but the result was the election of Wiggins by a tre mendous majority, and I do not now recollect of hearing of an allusion, by him, in the legislature, to any of those lead ing measures, that occupied his thoughts on the stump. I believe, after all, that the county was very well represent- ted. Wiggins used about as much gas and deception in se curing his seat as a New- York politician, but not any more ; but after he had obtained it, he felt and acted like a repre sentative of the people, who had a reputation of his own to sustain. When I say * well represented/ I mean that Tie did no harm nor any good either but always wted right on party questions, because his name began with a W, and was nearly the last called If it had begun with A, he would have ruined himself, and perhaps his country so true it is tn*at a man s fame or infamy may hang by a single thread. 110 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER IX. Winter upon us The Roosters in the early morning The Blue- jays and the Squirrels The Improvident Turkey The Domestic Hearth, and who occupied it The Old Dog The Blessed Old Mail-Horse The Newspapers Our Come-to-tea Mrs. Brown, her Arrival and Experiences Entree of Bird, Beagles & Co. Conflicting Elements, and how Ike Turtle assimilated all Gratifying Consequences. MY little family, that I have spoken of, were quietly nest led away in the log hut, and winter was now upon us. The days came and went, and were marked by light and dark ness, and our own domestic joys. There were no startling events to disturb any person s serenity no rise or fall of stocks no fires no crashes in business no downfall of pride no bustle in the streets about the latest news no nothing. The world moved on as monotonous as the tick- tick of a clock. The gray of each morning was first heralded by a famous rooster, which I had imported from the east. He blew his clarion voice at about four, and I used to lie and hear its echoes wander away off through the streets of Puddleford, until they finally expired in the wilderness. He was usually answered by some half-awakened cock, whose drowsy smoth ered crow was quite ludicrous. Then he would give another blast and get, usually, a snappish answer from some quar ter, saying as well as it could be said * Well, I know it what of it ? Pretty soon, a braggadocio fellow would belch forth in a coarse, sullen strain I Ve been-up-these- THE BIRDS. Ill two-hours." 1 This was followed, often, by the cracked voice of some nervous old fellow, away in another direction, de claring, I rather guess you li a i n I? And so one after another, strain was added to strain, until the whole orchestra were blowing their horns in the face of opening day. At sunrise, the blue-jays and other birds gathered about the door and garden, to pick the dry seeds that the weetls were shedding on the earth. What are snow-birds ? Where do they live ? See them chirping in yonder ray of sunlight darting hither and thither, like motes in a beam of light. See them go whirling through the tempest, like angel spirits, beautiful in the very midst of the storm. What are they ? Do they sleep on the wings of the wind, or hide them selves in a scroll of snow ? How is it that these little sing ing harps live on amid such dreary scenes ? The blue- jays, however, were very petulant. Their gorgeous summer plumage was exceedingly mussed, and they went about from bush to bush, and tree to tree, screaming and fretting at each other and themselves. They acted like so many Sibe rian prisoners, who were forced to brave the blasts as the penalty of some crime they had committed. Sometimes, a keen, frosty night would be succeeded by a still sunny day, when the eaves pattered their sleepy music, and the cows strayed away into the forest, as though they smelt approaching spring when the cats flew out of the house, and chased each other up into the trees, and the dog went away by himself wandering along the river-banks for reasons known only to himself. These were visiting days, holidays, jubilee days, for those animals that were housed in trees, ancl burrowed in the earth. Go forth into the woods. You may, on such a day, see the squirrel push out his head from the door of his cas- 112 TUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. tie, where lie lias been confined for a month, and cautiously look* over the landscape then dart in again. Soon he pushes himself out farther, and farther, and timidly glides down to the foot of the tree. Then he tries the snow, and then again, and finally goes cantering to the nearest stump, and chirruping, up he goes with a flirt, throws his tail over his back, sits down, and breaks forth into a burst of song. Do you believe that squirrel remembers his last summer rambles in those woods yon rivulet where he drank, now sleeping beneath its silver frost-work, and chanting its low, muffled dirge yon icy knoll, that stood, last June, a pyra mid of flowers yon hickory where he harvested his nuts ? Is his song for the present or the past ? Look a little farther the solemn tread of the turkey who is busy disinterring some of the buried mast of autumn. Such a day is a bright page in the winter life of the turkey. She comes forth from beneath the roots of upturned trees, from thickets, or hollow logs, where she has been so long cowering and starving, to hail the blessed warmth. She dreamed away the summer, stalking about from wood to stream, and stream to wood she passed the provident squirrel often, in October, and saw him roll in his winter stores, but she did n t know why ; and now she is shovelling the snow, scattering it right and left with her feet, with a melancholy twit ! twit ! to get a kernel of bread. Farther on, is a little gorge sloping up from the brook, and on such days the snows melt off", and the banks grow warm, and the green grass shines as brightly as it did in May. It is soft and spring-like there. The sunbeams seem to be all tangled together in^that spot. There are clusters of winter birds sporting in this temple, and occasionally one breaks forth with a note or two of her last June s song, as though she were just twanging her harp to try its strings. They OUT-DOORS AND IN. 113 think those tangled sunbeams are the footfall of April, and so they chirrup, and flutter, and bow to them, and seem to ask where gentle May is, and when she is coming with her music and flowers. Sometimes the fog from the river would freeze upon the trees during a night, and the sun would rise upon a forest all burst out into a white bloom. As the sun rose higher, the little particles glittered and flashed, and then it was a forest of silver every shrub, every bush, every tree, was silver. The woods were a frozen poem written in a night by invisible fingers to be read for an hour or two, and then scattered away in shining scales, for ever. These natural changes and beauties were all that there were to attract attention, and arrest our out door thoughts. How different is all this from the life of a resident of some large city where the life of a man is read in the street and where each day shifts its pictures with its revolution, like the chang ing colors of a kaleidoscope ! In-doors, however, was the domestic hearth. There were joys there, that knew no winter. Wife and children how many ? I said three but were there not more ? There was the babe, the creeping infant, the tottering child, in each. The portraits of half a dozen children were daguerreotyped on my soul as I looked at one. But a part were dead ! the babe had died in the infant, and the infant in the child not died, either, but one grace had faded into another, one beauty had risen upon the ruins of another, until the child was born where the infant perished, we know not when nor how. Instead of two, I always felt that I had a family of little ones about me. And then, that old dog that had been with us for years, and shared our fortunes and misfortunes, always the same, 114 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. under all circumstances he was one of the family. He used to pioneer the children a half a mile to school, and wag his tail, and bid them 4 good morning, as he left them at the door. He was also there in waiting, at night, to escort them home again. He used to walk around, over the farm, and examine this thing and that, as though he was half propri etor of the premises. He used to sleep during the long winter evenings by the fire, his nose between his fore*paws, his hind legs stretched out full length, and dream of scour ing the woods first a tremor I then a twitch ! then a bark, and a leap ! and looking up, and finding all a sham, away he would walk under the table overwhelmed with mortifi cation. This dog never made any acquaintance among the Pud- dlefordiaus, nor their clogs. He always stood aloof on his dignity, and if either approached too near, warned them away with a low growl. He was a noble Newfoundland, and prided himself upon his ancestry. But there are little threads of beauty that penetrate every household, wherever it may be, and warm the heart. Those thoughts, and kind words, and -remembrances, that fly back and forth, hundreds of miles, and keep the poorest hovel all a-glow. They are so many rays that converge there, and make a star. That -sleepy old horse that brought in the mail once a week was a blessed old horse, and bore upon his back treasures that far outweighed gold. That mail-bag, like all mail-bags, was full of passions love, hatred, and revenge all kinds of courtesy, civility, politeness, syco phancy some coarseness and vulgarity, too; and when it burst, like a bomb, in the post-office, it covered some per sons with rainbow light, gave others a cold drench, over powered still others, and turned many into so many raging THE MAILS. 115 madmen. The imprisoned conflicting elements that jogged along up hill and down dale, so cozily-on that old horse s back, made strange work when they were let loose. Mail days were bright days in our calendar. They came only once a week but that day always brought something. We then sat down, wife, children, and all, and posted up the books of the past. The letters brushed off the dust from the pictures of distant friends that were hanging in our souls and those pictures talked. Some were sick; some were married ; some had gone to one place, some to another. They were sailing on the great current of life as well as we. We were all together, yet apart ; and these letters were only a shaking of hands across the flood that divided us the O shuttle that wove our passage into one. And then the newspapers were something more to us than ever before. The jar and roar of the world, like music, was softened and mellowed by distance. Advertisements grew va luable ; and our little daughter Kate absolutely read a pa tent-medicine notice from end to end without smiling. During the winter, my wife made a little come-to-tea gathering, for the purpose, as she said, of getting better ac quainted with her neighbors. We were living, as I have stated before, a little out of the village of Puddleford, and our opportunities for seeing its society were not very good. She invited Squire Longbow and wife, (of course ;) Bates and wife ; Turtle and wife ; Mrs. Sonora Brown, Tom Beagles and his clique in fact, it was got up without distinction of party, as our house was neutral ground, never having thus far been the scene of a social fight. I set apart the day to attend to our guests. The first lady who made her appearance was Mrs. Sonora Brown, who had walked out from Puddleford alone, and who hove in sight pursuant to her invitation to come to tea, at about 2 P.M. 116 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. The snow was falling fast, and the wind quite rough, but Mrs. Sonora did n t mind that. She was covered with one of those plaid cloaks that were made twenty years ago, had on a pair of heavy brogan boots, (sensible woman,) a tight hood, and over that a red and white cotton handker chief tied under her chin. The old lady sailed along through the gale as calmly and stately as a seventy-four. When she reached the door, she rapped, and stamped, and gave a loud hawk, all of which she undoubtedly thought ought to an nounce her presence. My Avife opened the door. Well, exclaimed Sonora, you see I ve come, giving her cloak a hearty shake, and scatter ing the snow about her. Glad very glad to see you, replied my wife. I know d you would be that s just what I told em , continued Sonora ; * you ain t so dreadfully stuck up out here as some folks tries to make believe, arter all. We are like most other people, I suppose, said my wife. Sonora took off her hood, when her eyes fell upon me. 4 So, this your man ! I d hearn tell on him, but never see d him afore, near by and there are the children ! and that is your big looking-glass they tell d about ! The dear massy on us, she exclaimed, how nice ! Why, Mrs. Brown, said I, * you must recollect me : I was a juryman on the trial between Filkins and Beadle. * Come to take a good look at you, and so you was ; but I was so frustercd that day that I did n t know which eend I stood on. How pesky sassy them turneys-at-la are, con tinued Mrs. Brown, as she seated herself in the big rocking- chair. * Mrs. Brown, have you lived long in this country ? I asked. Why, bless your soul, yes ! Did n t you know that ? We MRS. BROWN. 117 came in from the Hio twenty years ago, and lived her fore there was any body, nor nothing but bears and catamounts. 1 How, in the world, did you manage to get through the country twenty years ago ? I asked. Well, it was a pretty orful time, said the old lady ; it almost brings the tears into my eyes now to think on t. There was my husband and four children Lem and Jim, and Molly and Bessy. Lem was about twenty, and Jim about fifteen, and Molly and Bessy ten and twelve ; and we were all piled inter a big cover d wagon, drawn by two yoke of cattle, with what little furniter we had; and in this kinder way we started for I did n t know where. 1 Where did you eat and sleep ? inquired I. We bunk d in the wagon nights, and camp d out to eat ; and so we travelled for two months. . * But you got through all safe ? I said. * No, we did n t, said she, heaving a sigh ; * little Bessy died, (she wiped away a tear ;) she got the measles some where on the road ; and every body was afraid of catchin on em ; and no body would come near us, and so we had to stop and take care of her in the wagon the best way we could. We done all we could think of, but she kept grow- in worse and worse, til one morning she died. She died ! I repeated, feeling sad. And we had to bury her in a strange place a high knoll in the woods by the road-side and go away and leave her there alone. Oh ! Mr. , she exclaimed, I Ve dream d a thousand times of that spot in the woods : what would n t I give if I could go and find it. What did you do when you first arrived here ? I in quired. 1 Why, it was all trees all over, every where, then. There 118 PUDDDEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. warn t any houzens, nor any roads to travel on, nor no white folks but Venison Styles, and some other hunters who are gone away now ; nor any thing to live on ; and nothin to be heard nights but the varmints screaming, said Mrs. Brown, laying down her knitting-work, and shoving up her spectacles with a convulsive twitch, for she was getting elo quent. There warn t a pound of meat for fifty miles round no pork for love nor money and so we cut down a place, and built a log shanty, and liv d on deer meat, for deers were as thick as hops all over. * And what, then ? said I. * The next spring, she continued, we cleared a couple of acres, and put it into taters, turnips, beets, and all kind-er garden sass ; and then we girdled the trees on ten or twelve acres more, and in the fall we put this inter wheat, and in a year or so we began to live. * And that large farm you now live on, Mrs. Brown, is the spot you first settled ? Where are your children now ? They are round yet, said Sonora. * Jim teaches school, and spec lates, and fiddles some, and can doctor if he likes. Jim is the only genus in our family : he s as smart as lite- niri ; Lem is more staid and sober-like. He allers took to hum chores, fod ring cattle, and such like-er things. He married Squire Nolet s darter ; and they are pretty big folks got carpets in their bed-rooms, and all over the house and he is now settled on a farm out on Horse-Neck Plains ; and Jim is now doin fust-rate. What became of Molly ? 1 Molly made a bad go on t. She married a trailing sing ing-master and I do suppose, she exclaimed, he is one of the most good-for-nothing dogs in the whole settlement. I do n t see how in airth Molly ever took a notion to him : he MORE ARRIVALS . 119 hain t got no laming he won t work and / do n t like his singin\ I do n t see what such critters are made for. (The old lady heaved a long sigh.) There was a rap at the door, and Mrs. Bird, Mrs. Beagles, and Mrs. Snipes came in. These three ladies were insepara ble. They visited together, and warred, as we have seen, upon the up-street aristocracy together. Mrs. Bird, who was, as I have stated, a great sozzle about home, was now decked out with as many ribbons and streamers as a May pole. She had mounted on her back a most tremendous bus tle, and she bowed, and bobbed, and twitched about, as she saluted my wife, with all the airs and friskiness of a young girl. Mrs. Beagles was quite reserved. Why, bless you, Mrs. , how cold t is ! said Mrs. Bird. My dear husband couldn t hardly think of lettin me go out. Bird is so particular, and allers so scared for fear d sunthin will happen to me. Wife, said Bird to me one day wife, sez he, * you mus nt go out with them are thin shoes on til be the death on you, sez he. Oh ! shaw ! sez I, Bird, you re allers bor ring trouble. No, I aint, nother, sez he. By m-bye, you 11 get a mortal sick ness in your lungs, and it 11 run you inter the inflammation, and then you re gone. But I allers laughs at Bird when he talks so. Why, of all things, continued Mrs. Bird, looking round, if here ain t Mrs. Brown. Are you well, Aunt Sono- ra, to-day ? Pretty sorter, answered Mrs. Brown. 4 Hain t had the rheumatiz, nor shakin ager, nor any of that buzzing in your head ? None to speak on. How is your old man, Mrs. Brown ? 1 Well, he s gruntin some but so s to be about. * Did he catch that feller who ow d him and run d away? 120 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. 4 Not s I ever heerd on, replied Mrs. Brown. * Why, what a nice caliker you re got on, Mrs. Brown ; was it one-and-three or one-and-six ? 1 b lieve it was somewher s along there, said Mrs. Brown. It s jest like Charity Beadle s, only Chanty had hers made up with the figur running down. About sundown, and in the midst of Mrs. Bird s conver sation for her tongue kept in full play Squire Longbow and wife announced themselves by a rap. Their arrival spiked Mrs. Bird s battery. After making a cold, scornful, and exceedingly low and ironical bow to them, she retired one side with Mrs. Beagles and Mrs. Snipes. Squire Longbow had on his best rig a suit of grayish homespun. His shirt-collar was unusually tall, and he had put a double bow-knot in his neck-cloth of white cotton. The shade over his lost eye was very clean and bright. He really looked like a Justice. Longbow said he was glad to get out that the business of justice was wearin him to death. Much on your mind, Squire, now ? I inquired. All the time all the time sunthin . There s a p int of law to be settled in that case tween Whippum against Snap- pett. Snappett s nigger man druv Snappett s cattle over Whip- pum s dog, and broke Whippum s leg I mean Whippum s dog s leg ; and Whippum s dog s goin to die a very valu able dog cost Whippum six shillings last spring good for cattle, hogs, any thing children thought a good deal on him ; and so Whippum swore Snappett should pay for the dog, if he spent his farm to get it. I declare ! exclaimed I. 4 Yes, he said it in my offis last week ; but whether to sue Snappett or the nigger is the p int. If we sue the nigger, he ar n t good ; if we sue Snappett, twan t he that druv the oxen. TlBBltS AND JENKINS. 121 Join the nigger and the white man together in one suit, said I. T-h-u-n-ofcr ! exclaimed the Squire, looking wildly at me can t jine niggers and white men together, by our constitution Story s dead agin it. They d come in on tother side, and squash every thing inter pieces. Can it be possible ! said L Yes-sir-ee / said the Squire; they would that and have me peal d up to the higher courts in a jiffy. And then, continued the Squire, Tibbits and Jenkins have got inter trouble. Jenkins got mad at Tibbits bout something awhile ago, and so he went down to Tibbits house, his gun on his shoulder, full-er wrath and spyin a favorit cow of Tibbits in the barn-yard, jest drew up, and popp d her over Tibbits run d out, grabbl d the gun out of Jenkins hand, and smash d it up fine on a tree then they had a fight, and Jenkins bung d up Tibbits, and Tibbits bung d up Jenkins, so neither on em could see much now Tibbits wants to bring suit for the value of his cow. Do tell now if he does, exclaimed Aunt Sonora, who had been listening to the Squire s story ; I tell d our folks at hum, yesterday, that I had n t any doubt but Puddleford would be turn d cwside out bout that. Yes ! continued the Squire, Tibbits wants to bring suit but I tell d Tibbits that I wanted to know how much the cow \vas worth fourteen dollars, said he. How much was the rifle worth Bout the same, said he. Jest a set-off, said I, the rifle pays for the cow, and the cow for the rifle. Tibbits said that warn t la , and swore, and said I should issue the writ. I threaten d to commit him for contempt. He said he d get a ramdamus (mandamus) onter me, and there the matte. 6 122 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. * Well, 1 said I, you do have trouble, Squire I d resign. Nobody to fill my place, said the Squire, pushing his- arms down into his breeches-pockets and stretching out his legs and throwing his eyes up to the ceiling 4 nobody that understands the staterts? There s Ike Turtle, said I. Ike arn t cool enough it takes a cool man for justis in these parts a man that arn t afear d of nothin. Just so, said I. Here was a rap, and Ike Turtle, Mr. and Mrs. Bates, and many others entered. We had a house full nearly. The elements, as I have said, were not harmonious. The Birds, and Swipes, and Beagles, and their friends were huddled together by them selves in one part of the room, and Longbow and his friends in another. You might hear whispers and suppressed laughs, and oh s ! and ah s ! from the circle of Mrs. Bird r and side-looks and other manifestations of uneasiness. Ike Turtle, whose knowledge of human nature was equal to his humor, after eyeing the group awhile, concluded to break into and scatter it, if possible. So, turning around ^Mrs. Bird, you look un-cow*only well, to-day, he said. Think I do, 1 replied Mrs. Bird, pettishly. * Why, you look as fresh as a new-blown rose. Mrs. Bird held down her head, and actually appeared con fused. Soon she gathered courage to speak. Why, Mr, Turtle, how can you think so I rn an old woman. * Not so old after all, said Ike, yon Vo taken good care of your sperits and complexion. Why, Mrs. Bird don t use sperits! exclaimed Mrs, Brown, looking down over her spectacles, at Ike, with horror. Not them kind, said Ike -- but her nat ral sperits, I mean. Now, continued Ike, here s Squire Longbow, BREAKING THE ICE. 123 past fifty, hearty as a buck, full-er fire, and can kick up his heels as high as his head all owin to his sperits. Do n t you think so, Mrs. Bird ? Mrs. Bird said she did n t know much about Squire Long bow. * Oh ! nonsense now yes, you do liv d neighbor to him in Puddleford these ten years or more. But if there a any doubt about it, I 11 just introduce you. Squire Long bow, continued Ike, rising and pointing to Mrs. Bird * Mrs. Bird Mrs. Bird, Squire Longbow. And here s Mrs, Beagle and Mrs. Swipes all of Puddleford maybe you do n t know em all old residenters came in when the country was new, and have cut their own fodder ever since. The Squire rose, bowed, and said he * know d em all, and was glad to meet em looking so fust rate. Now, said Ike, * I ve introduced you, enjoy yourselves. This movement of Ike s broke the ice. The clique re laxed their brows, and conversation grew more general. * Is Lavinny at school this winter ? inquired Mrs. Beagles of the Squire. Yes, marm, she is studying stronomy got inter the fix d stars last week and will be onter Capercorn, bym- bye. 1 Bless my soul ! exclaimed Aunt Sonora, her knitting- needles rattling with surprise, how did she get out got inter the stars ? Yes, marm, continued the Squire, she larned herself inter em and she knows all bout em what they re there for and who put em there jest as much as though she d liv d six months on the spot. * And then, Mrs. Beagle, she s up to her eyes in hist ry. She talks bout the Caesars and Gustuses, jest as though she M allers knowYl em. Tells all about how Christopher 124 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE, Columbus came over with the Puritans and settled onter Plymouth rock, caus,e Richard Third, king-er Spain, got mad at em, cause they would kiss the Pope s toe. Dear me suz, I wanter know, exclaimed Mrs. Brown again. 1 And then she s at the head in the gography class she s draw d a map of the Cannibal islands and on one on em, Capt n Cook lies with his head off, crying for marcy and she says, down onter the squalor it do n t never snow, nor nothin, and it s hotter than blue-blazes, in the winter and when it thunders and litenins, it tears every thing inter pieces she s goin ahead wonderfully, Mrs. Beagles. N Well now that is satisfying? said Mrs. Beagles. It does one so much good to see one s children get laming. That s just what I tell d Mr. Brown when Jim was first born, said Aunt Sonora. I tell d him the boy had genus, for there never was one of our family that did n t. But you ve got-ter give him schooling, said I, to bring it out. And so he did and you arter to have see d how he run d to books and newspapers. When he was fifteen, he tell d the old man, as he called his father, he orter to go to district- school (he was a wonderful boy, know d everything, then) - that he was way ahind the age. Then he went off a roamin , a seekin his fortin and when he com d back, nobody would know d him he was so improved he fling d his legs onter to the stove, and smoked and chewed, and talk d about furrin parts -and didn t take any notice of the old man said how the old man did n t know nothin (warn t he genus, Squire Longbow ?) he would n t work any, because he said genuses never work d that they would n t be genuses if they did he made the old man give him a fast horse, and a pinter dog, and a gun, GETTING UP A DANCE. 125 all kivered with silver plates, and then he rid, and hunted, and courted (warn t he genus ? ) he courted Squire Boson s darter, and Mr. Fogg s two darters, and all the gals in the Western settlement, til he finally settled down as I was tellin Mr. awhile ago into jest as much of a genus as ever the dear, massy on us, what won t larnin do ? * S prisin boy, answered the Squire. The conversation ran on about every thing, until Ike had really broken up the clique of Bird & Co., and one would have thought there never had been a social war in Puddleford. There never lived a mortal, I believe, who could hold out against the humor of Ike Turtle. He mag netized all who came within his influence. He was shrewd, keen, far-seeing, fall of good sense, and had a stock of fun that was positively inexhaustible. Ike, in reality, never cared about the antipathy of Bird, Beagles, & Co. all their malice and slander had never ruffled a feather, as he used to say. He was amusing himself in the experiments he had been making to bring the factions together ; but he. did not in fact care whether they ever came together or not. About nine o clock in the evening, and after supper, as Mrs. Sonova called it, had passed off, Ike inquired of me if my fiddle was in the house, as he intended to have Squire Longbow, Aunt Sonora, Mrs. Bird, Swipes, and all hands, dancing before the company broke up. The fiddle was produced rather an asthmatic instru ment that strayed into the country among my lumber, and was somewhat out of order. Ike tinkered it up with his jack-knife, until it finally emitted a few strains of some thing like music. He then played Over the Hills, Fish er s Hornpipe, and several other lively airs, until old Squire Longbow unconsciously began to rap the time with his heels, and Mrs. Bird to grow quite nettlesome. 126 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Ike finally bowed himself up to Mrs. Bird, sawing away all the time on his fiddle and declared that nothing on airth would do him so much good as a country dance, and she must consent to walk straight out without wincing. Mrs. Bird looked pleased and provoked, by turns, but she finally took Ike s arm, and was duly placed on the floor. Squire Longbow and Mrs. Sonora were next hauled out by Ike ; Mrs. Swipes and Sile Bates, and so on, until he had united (with the exception of Squire Longbow and partner) the most discordant elements of Puddleford. The dance opened, Ike himself fiddling, shuffling, and calling off. He and Mrs. Bird went down in the middle, up outside, and crossed over, Ike s feet playing all the while like drum-sticks to the music of Fisher s Hornpipe, which he was sawing off with inconceivable rapidity, while Mrs. Bird followed after him, panting and blowing, without much regard to time or tune. Squire Longbow and Mrs. Sonora trotted through their parts Mrs. Sonora having declared, before she took the floor, that she never was one of them are dancing critters, but she d try and hobble through the figger, the best she could. By and by the general wind-up 1 came, when all hands went into it heart and soul. Ike s fiddle, and Ike s voice, and* the pattering of feet, were all that was heard, Right and left!" 1 Cross over! Don t run agin Mrs. Bird, Squire Longbow ! A leetle faster, Mrs. Swipes ! Part ners keep clus arter one another ! Do n t cave ! Not quite so much cavortin down thar ! exclaimed Ike, giving expression to his words with his bow, when at last he drew the whole to a close by a long high squeak, and the com pany rushed to their seats puffing, and covered with per spiration. THE CLIQUES MELTED. 127 This movement of Ike s was a masterly performance. He had actually danced with Mrs. Bird, one of his bitterest enemies. He had melted the two hostile cliques of Puddle- ford into one^ His flattery and music had accomplished this, and it was productive of lasting good, for the war from this time began to decline in Puddleford, and the hos tile cliques were finally dissolved. Perhaps the reader is disposed to smile at my description of a Puddleford tea-party. Perhaps he thinks the ingenu ousness of Aunt Sonora, the free-and-easy humor of Ike Turtle, the peevish jealousy of Mrs. Bird, are the fruit sim ply of what he terms * western vulgarity. Do n t be too fast, my friend. You belong, perhaps, to a society that wears a mask made up, nevertheless, of * envy, hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness. Your Mrs. Bird is just as jealous, but for another reason, and with this difference, too, that she can smile upon her bitterest enemy, when and where the rules of fashionable life demand it. You Ve got a Squire Longbow or two with you in all probability not dressed in homespun, but broadcloth one who has been favored by fortune, and no god beside one who hums and haws, and looks as wise and solemn as an owl, and to whom perhaps you unconsciously pay homage. We are all alike, dear reader we look at your society through the telescope of education and refinement at Puddleford, with the naked eye. PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER X. Mrs. Longbow taken sick General Interest Dr. Teazle His Visit The Rattles Scientific Diagnosis A Prescription Short and Dr. Dobbs Pantod of the Heart Dismissal of Tea zle Installation of Dobbs Scvller and Chara&zdes Ike s Views The Colonel s Bates s Mrs. Longbow dies "Who killed her : conflicting opinions Her Funeral Bigelow Van Slyck s Sermon = Interment. NOT long after this jolly little gathering at my house, I heard that Mrs. Longbow was sick. Her symptoms were very alarming, and, as she was the wife of Squire Longbow, and as the Squire was the man of Puddleford, her critical con dition was a matter of public concern. What is the matter with Squire Longbow s woman ? How did she rest last night ? * Did she roll and tumble much ? Is her fever brok t onto her ? were questions fre quently put. Now Mrs. Longbow was a very worthy person, and entitled to all the sympathy she received ; but that is not to be the subject of this chapter. When Mrs. Longbow was first taken ill, Doctor Teazle was called yes, reader, Dr. Teazle who had been as good authority in medicine, as Longbow ever was in law. I say had been Things were different now. Teazle was one of the pioneers of Puddleford. He was there when the first log-house was laid up the first field cleared the first child born. Teazle possessed a very little learning, a very great deal of impudence, and a never-ending flow of language. lie was opinionated, and tolerated no MRS. LONGBOW S SICK-BED 329 practice but his own. (What physician ever did ?) Teazle never let a doubt enter his mind he intuitively read a case, as rapidly as though he were reading a printed statement of it. Teazle was about the size of Longbow, but he had two eyes. How long have you been attackted ? inquired Teazle, ap proaching the bed-side of Mrs. Longbow, and placing his fingers over the lady s pulse. Mrs. Longbow said it was sometime during the night. Run out your tongue, continued Teazle. Mrs. Longbow obeyed. 4 Very bad tongue all full er stuff you aint well, Mrs. Longbow, there s a kind of collapse of the whole system, and a sort of debility going on, every where all over you. Squire Longbow, who sat by, anxiously inquired what the disease was ? Teazle said it might be a sour stomach, or it might be fever, or it might be rheumatiz, or it might be the liver, or it might be that something else was out of order or it might be the rattles. Dear me ! exclaimed the Squire, * the rattles - what is that? * The rattles, answered Teazle, the rattles is a disease treated of in the books Folks catch cold the nose stops up the throat gets sore and there is a kind of rattling going on when they breathe, whether we can hear it or not and that s the rattles. Mrs. Longbow said * she had n t got any rattles as she know d on. Teazle said he would make up a prescription that would make a sure business of it, as he always did when he was in doubt. He would prepare a compound of the particular medicines used for the particular diseases he hal mentioned, 130 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. and fire at random, and some of the shot would hit, he knew. Gracious ! doctor ! exclaimed Longbow, * what comes of the rest on em. All passes off all passes off, answered Teazle glibly, with a flourish of the hand, through the pores of the skin continued Teazle ; * and you must also take four quarts-er water, two pounds-er salt, a gill-er molasses, a little cumfrey root, some catnip blows, (but mind do n t get in any of the leaves, that 11 kill her,) stir it all up together, and soak her feet just ten minutes then get five cents worth-er sassy- farilla, three cents worth-er some kind of physic, pour in some castor-ile, and I ll put in some intergrediences and stuffs, and will give it inwardly every two hours and in the morning I will quire agin into the condition of the patient. This, reader, was the result of Teazle s call. Mrs. Longbow was really suffering under an attack of bilious fever. In a few days, there was an uproar among the physicians of Puddleford. Doctor Short and Doctor Dobbs had united their influence and tongues together, and Teazle was de nounced as a quack and a fool. Short and Dobbs never united for any other purpose but the abuse of Teazle. Some times Short and Teazle abused Dobbs, and sometimes Dobbs and Teazle abused Short. Short declared that Mrs. Long bow had nothing but a kind of in ard strictur , and a little salts would clear it right out. Dobbs said it was either that or the pantod of the heart, and that Teazle s medicine would lay out the poor soul as cold as a wedge. I endeavored to ascertain by Dobbs what he wished us to understand by pantod of the heart. Dobbs said it was impossible for him to explain it with out the books it was something that laid hold of the ves- HEROIC PRACTICE OF DOBBS. lol sels about the lieatt, and throw d every thing into a flutter. , The war went on Squire Longbow s friends finally joined tlie force of opposition to Teazle and in two or three days, Teazle was ejected very unceremoniously from the Squire s house, and Dobbs took his place. The first thing Dobbs did, when he was fairly installed, was to gather up, and pitch headlong in the fire, all of Teazle s remaining medicines. He wondered whether Teazle ( really intended to kill Mrs. Longbow ! Perhaps ho was only a fool ! The whole system of practice was now changed. A new administration had come into power, and with it new measures. Dobbs didn t know but he might raise Mrs. Long bow, but he could n t hold himself responsible Teazle had nearly finished her but he would try. Dobbs immediately introduced a seton into the side of his patient, to get up a greater fluttering some where else, and get away the flutter at the heart, and when that went, the fever would go away with it, he said. Dobbs moved around Puddleford for a day or so, with great pomp of manner. lie had unseated Teazle, and now occu pied his place. But what was his surprise to find Short and Teazle united, and out upon him, in full cry. Short had become chagrined because Dobbs had been called to fill the place of Teazle, instead of himself. The war was renewed with increased fury. . Dobbs s seton failed to produce the desired effect, and he, therefore, resorted to blistering and calomel. In a week he had nearly skinned and salivated the poor woman, and yet she lived. The fact was, Dobbs was a greater blockhead than Teazle, if that were possible. Ike Turtle said the old oman was between Scyller and Charafo dcs ! Ike had heard this classical allusion at somo 132 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. time, and she d got-ter go for it and she d better just step out at onst, and save trouble and expense. The Colonel said that he once read a story in ^Esop s fables, called the * Fox and the Brambles, and he recollected that the fox refused to shake off a swarm of flies that were sucking out his life-blood, because a more hungry swarm would succeed and he thought Mrs. Longbow made a great mistake in discharging Teazle for Teazle had ex hausted his energies upon his palient, and nature was about restoring the ruin he had wrought. Bates expressed a different opinion. He was a strong ad vocate of lobelia and cayenne-pepper he was, in short, a supporter of the hot water practice. All mineral medicine Bates declared poisonous. Bates said nature knew enough to take care of herself for every disease a remedy had been provided what we called weeds, were all valuable reme dies ; and he thought Teazle and Dobbs ought both to be indicted for mal-practice. This war between men, soon became a war of systems. Philista Filkins, Aunt Sonora, Bates & Company, raised a tempest around Longbow s ears; and Dobbs was finally thrown overboard, and his medicines after him ; and Mrs. Filkins was placed at the helm, and the hot-water practice introduced. But what is the use, reader Mrs. Longbow died. Who wouldn t? Nature cannot endure every thing she died, raid was buried. But who killed her ? That was a question for months afterward. Dobbs said Teazle Teazle said Dobbs ; and Teazle and Dobbs, when talking together on the subject, said Mrs. Filkins and Bates said the calomel and Turtle said the oman had been conspir d agin, and was killed. BIGELOW S SERMON. 133 I attended the funeral of Mrs. Longbow. A funeral is solemn any where in the wilderness, it is impressive. In a city, it is too often an exhibition of pride, carried down to the very gates of death the poor handful of dust is used to glorify, a little longer, the living it preaches no sermon, chastens no feeling ; but a funeral in the wilderness is as lonely as one at sea. Nature becomes almost oppressive. The scattered population, for miles around, gathered at the log-chapel, and Bigelow Van Slyck preached over the remains of Mrs. Longbow. The sermon was characteristic of Bige low strange and inappropriate, perhaps, in the opinion of the reader ; but, after all, the very thing for Bigelow s audience. This was his text : Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble ! Bigelow said his text used the word * man that is born, &c., but it was jest as applicable to a woman as to a man, for woman was, after all, a kind of a man ; not that a woman was a man, nor a man a woman but texts allers spoke of things in general, cause the Bible was writ for all time. In dwellin upon the words that is born] Bigelow said * he would go into the history of the Longbow family and he did go into their history, with a vengeance. He began with Squire Longbow s grand father, who, he said, fit in the old French war, and told us when he was born, and how he lived, and where he lived, and when he died, and gave us a kind of synopsis of the old man s services in the flesh. He then seized, violently, hold of the Squire himself, informed us he was born down in the Pennsylvanys, bout the old Tom Jefferson times, was the last of ten children, whose history he could n t go into for want of time that the Squire had n t any laming until after he becom d of age, and then got what he did get him self. Bigelow hoped his audience would improve on this lesson, and get laming themselves. He then followed up 134 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. the Squire through his immigration and settlement at Pud- dleford, and informed us, I recollect, among other things, that he built the first frame-house, * being twenty feet by thirty-four. Bigelow was still more specific in his history of Mrs 1 . Longbow. If there was any thing overlooked in the poor woman s life, I do not know what it was. Bigelow labored some half hour over her virtues, and brought them out so systematically, at last, that the list, when completed, reminded me of an inventory of the personal effects of a de ceased person of the preparation of a document, to file away somewhere. The latter part of Bigelow s text, upon the brevity of life, was well managed roughly, perhaps, but pointedly. He drew copiously from nature, by way of illustration, as all persons do, who live more with nature than with man. The corn, he remarked, died in the ground, sprouted, grew green, then the blades died agin the flowers jest breath d a few times then they died day died into night, and night died in the morning every thing died every where ; and man died, and woman died, and we d all got-ter die. I have selected only a few sentences at random, from this part of Bigelow s discourse. Then there was an address to the audience, an address to the aged, another to those in middle-life, another to the young, and finally, one to the mourners, standing. Some two hours and a half were occupied in the sermon altogether ; and when it finally closed, the remains of Mrs. Longbow were silently and sadly deposited in the grave. The death of Mrs. Longbow created a great chasm in society. The settlement was so small, that the loss of any one was severely felt. In small places, every person has a great deal of individuality in large, only here and there THE CHASM. 135 is one distinguished from the crowd. Mrs. Longbow was certainly fortunate in one respect, if she was unfortunate in another. If the physicians of Puddleford hastened her end, its population have not forgotten her, nor her many virtues. 136 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER XL Squire Longbow in mourning The Great Question Aunt Sonera s opinion Other People s The Squire goes to Church His Appearance on that occasion Aunt Graves, and her Extra Performance Nux Yomica Anxious Mothers Mary Jane Arabella Swipes Sister Abigail Ike Turtle, and his Designs He calls on Aunt Graves She 11 go it Sister Abigail s objec tion The Squire s First Love-Letter The Wedding Great Getting-up Turtle s Examination The Squire Runs the Risk of the Staterts Bigelow s Ceremony G eneral Break-Down Not Very Drunk. SQUIRE Longbow sincerely mourned the loss of his wife internally and externally. Externally, lie was one of the strongest mourners I ever saw. He wore a weed, floating from his hat, nearly a foot long. It was the longest weed that had ever been mounted at Puddleford ; but our readers must not forget who Squire Longbow was a magistrate, and leading man in community. And while the reader is about it, he may also recollect that the Squire is not the only man, east or west, who has ventured upon a little ostentation over the grave of the departed nor woman either. Who was to be the next Mrs. Longbow ? That was the question. The public, indeed, asked it long before the Squire. Who was to have the honor of presiding at the Squire s table ? What woman was to be placed at the head of society, in Puddleford ? The Swipeses and Beagles, Aunt Sonora Aunt Graves, and Sister Abigail, and scores of others, all began to speculate upon this important subject. Even Turtle and Bates indulged in a few general remarks. Aunt Sonora gave it as her mind, that the Squire ought to WHO NEXT? 137 be pretty skeery how he married any body, kase if he got one of them flipper-ter-gibbet sort o wimmin, she d turn the whole house en&ide out, and he d be one of the most misera- blest of all men. She said if he know d what was good for himself, he d jest keep clear of all the young gals that were fussing and figeting round him, and go right in for some old stand-by of a woman, that know d how to take the brunt of things but, lors-a-me, continued Aunt Sonora, there s no doing nothing with these old widowers they re all like my Uncle Jo, who married in a hurry, and repented arter- wards and the poor dear old soul arn t had a minute s peace since. The Swipeses and Beagles, who, it will be recollected, be longed to a clique that had, in times past, warred against Longbow & Co., tho t it would be shameful for the Squire to marry at all it would be an insult agin the memory of poor old Mrs. Longbow, who was dead and gone. (Some people, you know, reader, abuse the living, but defend the dead.) And if the Squire should marry, they should think for their part, that she d rise up out of her grave, and haunt him ! She could never sleep easy, if she know d that the Squire had got some other woman, who was eating her pre- sarves, and wearing out her clothes, and lording it over the house like all possess d. Other opinions were expressed by other persons in fact, the Squire s widowhood was the great concern of Puddleford. He was so well on to do, as Aunt Sonora used to call it, that he was considered a great catch. After a few weeks of sorrow, the Squire himself really be gan to entertain notions of matrimony. It is true he had passed the age of sixty, and it required a great effort to get up a sufficient amount of romance to carry out such an en terprise. Symptoms began, however, to wax strong. The 138 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. first alarming indication was his attendance at church. The Squire had always been a kind of heathen, in this respect, and had for many years set a poor example ; but people, who want to marry, will go to church. Whether this is done to get up a reputation, or simply to take a survey of the unap propriated female stock yet remaining on hand, I cannot say. The Squire was fixed up amazingly, the first time I saw him at church. His hair had been cut, and thoroughly greased. His shirt-collar covered his ears ; and his boots shone like a mirror. Aunt Sonora said he looked enymost as good as new. Aunt Graves was in the choir that day, and she sung as she never sang before. She blowed all the heavy strains of music strains that lifted her on her toes directly into Squire Longbow s face. Whether Aunt Graves had any design in this, is more than I can say ; but I noticed some twinges about the Squire s lips, and a sleepy wink of the eye, that looked a little like magnetism. It was ridicu- louSj too, that such an old castle should be stormed by music. But the Squire exhibited other symptoms of matrimony. lie grew more pompous in his decisions, disposed of cases more summarily, and quoted law-latin more frequently. It was about this time that he talked about the mix vomica instead of the vox Populi. He used to * squash proceed ings before the case was half presented ; and, in the language of Turtle, he tore around at a great rate. Turtle said, the old Squire was getting to be an old fool, and he was goin to have him married, or dismissed from office there warn t no livin with him. There were a great many anxious mothers about Puddle- ford who were very desirous of forming an alliance with the Longbow family. Even Mrs. Swipe?, as much as she openl} IKE AND AUNT GRAVES. 139 opposed the Squire s marriage in general, secretly hoped a spark might be struck up between him and her daughter, Mary Jane Arabella Swipes ; and Mrs. Swipes was in the habit of sending her daughter over to the Squire s house, to inquire of him to know if she could n t do sunthin for him in his melancholy condition 5 and Sister Abigail went down several times to * put things to rights, and was as kind and obliging, and attentive to all the Squire s wants, as ever Mrs. Longbow was in her palmiest days. On these occasions, Sister Abigail used frequently to remind the Squire of his great bereavement, and what an angel of a wife he had lost ; and that things did n t look as they used to do, when she was around, and she did n t wonder he took on so, when the poor thing died. But, reader, Ike Turtle had ordered things otherwise. He was determined to strike up a match between the Squire and Aunt Graves. So Ike made a special visit to Aunt Graves one evening, for the purpose of surveying and sounding along the coast, to see how the waters laid, and how the old soul would take it, to use his language. I have already given an outline of Aunt Graves ; but I will now say farther, that she never had an offer of matri mony in her whole life. She was what is termed a touchy old maid. She professed to hate men, and affected great distress of mind when thrown into their society. Aunt Graves was just ironing down the seams of a coat that she had finished, when Ike called. Ike opened the conversation by reminding Aunt Graves that she was livin along kinder lonely like. Lonely nough, I s pose, she replied, snappishly. Don t you never have the blues, and get sorter obstrep- rous ? Aunt Graves did n t know as she did. 140 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Why, in the name of old Babylon, do n t you marry ? Marry ? me marry marry a man a great, awful man ! and the iron flew through the seams like lightning. Yes, continued Ike, marry marry a man why, wo- man, you are getting as old and yellow as autumn leaves. What have you been livin for? you ve broken all the laws of Scripter inter pieces and keep on breakin on em adding sin unto sin, and transgression unto transgression, and the thing s got-ter be stopped. Now, Aunt Graves, what do you think there s Squire Longbow, as desolate as Sodom, and he s got-ter have a woman, or the old man 11 run as crazy as a loon a-thinkin bout his household affairs ; and you know how to cook, and to wash, and to iron, to make pickles and soap; and then, you re a proper age what Aunt Graves ran to the fire, plunged her goose into the ashes, and gave the coals a smart stir. She then dropped down in her large rocking-chair, leaned her cheek upon her elbow, fixed her eyes upon the floor, and came near going off into hysterics. Ike dashed a little water into Aunt Graves face, and she revived. After having gained strength, she replied in sub stance to Ike s query in a very languishing, die-away air : 4 She could n t say she did n t know if it was a duty if she could really believe it was a duty if she was called on to fill poor old dead-and-gone Mrs. Longbow s place folks were born inter the world to do good, and she had so far been one of the most unprofitablest of sarvants ; but she could never marry on her own account In other words, exclaimed Ike, cutting her short, you 11 go it. Aunt Graves agreed to reflect on V It WHS not long after this consultation that Mrs. Swipes " MARRY ! Me mnrry mnrrv a 11 teams like lightning." .... Pnge 140. Hew through lh, SQUIRE LONGBOW S LETTER. 141 began to smell a rat, as she said. She commanded Mary Jane Arabella never to darken the doors of that old hog, Longbow, agin ; and as for that female critter, Graves, she d got a husband living down at the East ard, and they d all get into prison for life the first thing they know d. Sister Abigail declared, * she d have Aunt Graves turned out of church, if she married a man who war n t a mem ber. This was a great deal for Sister Abigail to say, for she had been the bosom friend of Aunt Graves : * people out of the church and people in the church, should n t orter jine themselves together it was agin Scripter, and would get every thing inter a twist. But Ike Turtle had decreed that the marriage should go on. He even went so far as to indite the first letter of the Squire s to Aunt Graves. This letter, which Ike exhibited to his friends, as one of his best literary specimens, was indeed a curiosity. I presume there is nothing else like it on the face of the globe. It opened by informing Aunt Graves that since the * loss of his woman, he had felt very grievous-like, and could n t fix his mind onto any thing that the world did n t seem at all as it used to do that he and his wo man had liv d in peace for thirty years, and the marriage state was nat ral to him that he had always lik d Aunt Graves since the very first time he see d her, and so did his woman too; and many more declarations of similar im port, and it was signed * J. Longbow, Justice of the Peace. and sealed too, likeliis legal processes, that his dignity might command, even if his person did not win, the affections of this elderly damsel. Aunt Graves surrendered and all this within two months after the death of Mr& Longbow. The Squire cast off his weeds, and made violent preparations for matrimony ; and 142 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE, on a certain night I shall never forget it the affair came off. There was a great gathering at the Squire s a sort of general invitation had been extended far and near the Swipes and Beagles, Aunt Sonora, and all. Great prepara tions had been made in the way of eatables. The Squire was rigged in a new suit f * home-made? (made by Mrs. Longbow, too, in her life-time,) a white vest, and he wore a cotton bandana neck-handkerchief, with heavy bows, that buried his chin, and a pair of pumps and clouded bluestock ings. Aunt Graves dress cannot be described* She was a mass of fluttering ribbons, and she looked as though she would take wings and fly away. Bigelow Van Slyck and Ike Turtle conducted the mar riage ceremony the one took the ecclesiastical, the other the civil management. When the couple were ready, Tur tle sat down in front of them with the statutes under his arm, with Biglow at his right hand. Turtle examined the statutes amid profound silence for some time, turning down one leaf here and another there, until he found himself thoroughly prepared for the solemn occasion. Finally, he arose, and with a gravity that no man ever put on before or since, exclaimed : Miss Graves, hold up yer right hand and swear. Miss Graves said she was a member of the church, and dar sent swear. Ike said it was * legal swearing he wanted, cording to the statcrts not the wicked sort he wanted her to swear that she was over fourteen years of age had n t . got no husband living, no where warn t goin to practice no fraud nor nothin on Squire Longbow and that she d jest as good a right to get married now as she ever had. THE DOUBLE TEAM. 143 Miss Graves looked blank. Squire Longbow said he d run the risk of the fourteen years of age and the fraud, and finally he would of the whole on t. The staterts was well enough, but it warn t to be presumed that a justice of the peace would run agin em Some folks did n t know em he did. Ike said there was something another in the statert about wimin s doing things without any fear or compulsion of any body, and he guessed he d take Miss Graves into another room, and examine her separately and apart from her intended husband. This was a joke of Turtle s. The Squire said * that meant married wimin arter the ceremony was over, that ere would be very legal and proper. Mrs. Swipes said for her part she thought the oath or-ter be put it would be an awful thing to see a poor crettir forced into marriage. Sister Abigail thought so, too. Aunt Sonora hoped there would n t be nothin did wrong, so people could take the law on em. Turtle said that they need n t any on em fret their giz zards ]ie W as responsible for the la of the case. Bigelow then rose, and told the parties to jine Jiands, and while they were jined, he wanted the whole company to sing a psalm. The psalm was sung. Bigelow then commenced the wedding process. Squire Longbow, exclaimed Bigelow this is your second wife, ted some folks say the third, and I hope you feel the awful position in which you find yourself The Squire said lie frit easy and resigned he d gone inter it from respect to his woman who was now no more. You do promise to taks this ere woman, to cat her, and 144 PUDDLEFOE.D AND ITS PEOPLE. drink her, and keep her in things to wear, so long as you and she lives. I do that very thing, responded the Squire. And you, on your part, continued Bigelow, turning to Aunt Graves, promise to behave yourself and obey the Squire in all things. Aunt Graves said she would, Providence permitting. 1 This marriage ceremony, I believe, is nearly word for word. * Then, said Turtle, * wheel yourselves into line, and let s have a dance, and drawing out his fiddle, the whole crowd, in five minutes, were tearing down at a most furious rate ; and when I departed, at about midnight, the storm was raging still higher, the whiskey and hot-water circulated freely, Turtle looked quite abstracted about his eyes, and his footsteps were growing more and more uncertain, Bulli- phant s face shone like a drumniond-light, the voices of the females, a little stimulated, were as noisy and confused as those of Babel, and your humble servant why, he walked home as straight as a gun of course he did and was able to distinguish a hay-stack from a meeting-house, any where along the road. THE BAR-ROOM COMPANY. 145 CHAPTER XII. ^hQ Group at the Eagle Entree of a Stranger His opinion of the Tavern Bulliphant wakes up Can t Pick Fowls after dark Sad Case of Mother Gantlet and Dr. Teazle Mr.Farindale Begins to Unbend Whistle & Sharp, and their Attorney Good Pay Legal Conversation Going Sniping Great Description of the Animal The Party Start Farindale Holding the Bag Waiting for Snipe Farindale s Solitary Keturn His Interview with Whistle & Sharp Suing a Puddleford Firm Relief Laws Farindale gets his Execution The Puddleford Bank Tho Appraisers Proceeds of the Execution. LATE in the fall of the year, early one evening, Turtle, Longbow, Bates, the Colonel, Swipes, and Beagle were con gregated at the Eagle. Turtle and Bates were engaged at a game of chequers, and each one, fast-anchored at his right hand, had a glass of whiskey and water, or as Turtle called it, * a little diluted bald-face. Their mouths were pierced with a pipe, in the left hand corner, which hung loosely and rakish- ly down, besmearing their laps with ashes, and now and then they puffed forth a column of smoke. The Colonel, Long bow, and the other Puddtefordians were ranged round the- fire. The Colonel sat in a ricketty chair, his feet hoisted up on the mantle on a line with his nose, and his shoulders hitched over the ends of its posts ; the Squire was busily looking into the glowing coals, his hands clasped across his breast, unravelling some question, of law, and Swipes sat very affectionately on Beagles lap, his right arm thrown around his neck. While in this position, a loud call of * Hallo ! Land lord ! * 0-r-s-t-ler ! was heard without. 7 146 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Stir-yer stumps, old Boniface a traveller in distress,* exclaimed Ike, to Bulliphant, who was asleep on a wooden- box behind the bar, and was snoring louder and louder at each succeeding blast. Another two-and-sixpence, old free and easy, added Bates. * This ere s a licensed tavern, and yon must be up and doing, or the la 11 be inter you, gravely remarked the Squire. By this time, the stranger dashed into the bar-room, liis face flushed, and his temper or his offended dignity, or both, in the ascendant, and exclaimed, ferociously, Is this a tavern ! are you all dead ! where s the landlord ! the hostler ! Got any hay oats ! any thing for a gentle man to eat ! any place to sleep ! when Bulliphant rub bed open his eyes with the knuckle of his fore-finger, gave a sleepy nod, and stumbled toward the door, to provide for his furious guest and his horse. The stranger walked into the bar-room, unwound two or three gaudy shawls from his neck, took off an over-coat, a surtout-coat, shed a pair of India-rubber travelling-boots, run both of his hands deep into his breeches-pockets, took half a dozen pompous strides across the floor, looking down all the while in abstracted mood at his feet, paraded before a glass, twisted one of the locks of his hair around his fore finger, and finally brought up with his back to the fire, where he stood, his hands holding apart the skirts of his coat, and his attention fixed upon something on the ceiling. Turtle measured him with his eyes several times from head to foot; the Colonel hitched out of his way and begged his pardon, when, in fact, he was not at all in his way ; the Squire was quite overcome at the amount of op posing dignity brought so directly in contact with liirn ; TOO LATE FOR CHICKENS. 147 Bates gravely whistled Yankee Doodle, gazing out of the window, and winked over his shoulder at Beagle and Swipes, who winked back again. Bulliphant returned wide awake. Any turkeys or chickens ? inquired the stranger. All gone to roost, answered Bulliphant, with a grave kind of brevity. Take a broiled chicken, said the stranger, giving a heavy hawk, with his hand upon his breast, and spitting half across the floor. Have to take it feathers and all, then, said Bulliphant * wimin folks are superstitious do n t b lieve it s right to pick fowls in the night t was jest so with my wife s grand mother she had the same complaint. The stranger looked very hard at Bulliphant, and spit again, somewhat spitefully. Can give you mush, souse, slap-jacks, briled pork, con tinued Bulliphant, looking quizzically toward Turtle. The stranger said, * he thought he d stopped at a tav ern but he d a great deal better turned himself into the woods, and browsed for supper and heaving a long sigh, sat down, and crossed his legs in a settled mood of despera tion. Bulliphant said there warn t no cause for alarm he d seen sicker men than he die and get well, too. The stranger grunted and shifted his legs. There was a long silence. All the Puddlefordians, except Ike and Bates, who were absorbed in their game, were look ing soberly and steadily into the burning logs. Turtle, exclaimed Swipes, at last, breaking the solitude is that man goin to die ? Can t tell, replied Turtle; his life s on a pize 148 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. may turn one way, may turn to ther, and lie took out his pipe, and blew a long whiff. Sleep well, last night? * Groan d some bout mid-night. Swipes looked very sad, and the stranger s eyes passed from face to face with anxious looks. Ain t goin to bleed to death? Not zactly that, but mortification s goin to set in, and he cannot stand it long, when that takes him. * Dear me ! exclaimed the Colonel. Very strange easel added the Squire. * Great loss ! rejoined Bates. The stranger, who was none other than the junior mem ber of the firm of Follet, Fizzlet & Farindale, dry-goods merchants, doing business in the city of New-York, and who was out at Puddleford hunting up the firm of Whistle & Sharp, a couple of creditors, whose account had been in the rear for some time the stranger, I say, became very anxious to hear the particulars of the man whose life was in jeopardy and he exclaimed, before he thought * What is it, gentlemen ? who s hurt ? Why, said Ike, his face all the while cast-iron, and his eyes steadily fixed on his game; why, you see, old mother Gantlet was took with a violent mis ry in her head S ent for Doct. Teazle our village doctor here the old oman said her head would bust doctor said it would n t the old oman said it would the Doctor said he d tie it up and he did try to tie it up, stranger and while he was busy, her head did bust, and blew off the Doctor s thumb and fore-finger and Ike shoved a man into the king-row and crowned him, without a look at Mr. Farindale, his face all the while as rigid as a tomb-stone. Mr. Farindale gave a long whistle, and immediately called MR. FARINDALE. 149 for a cigar ; the Colonel dropped a quid of tobacco into his hand, and gave it a toss across the bar-room; Longbow shot forth a dignified spit into the fire, or rather it seemed to shoot out itself, without moving a muscle, and Bates stroked his chin several times with his left hand. A long pause ensued. What became of the woman 2 inquired Farindale, after five minutes, looking sharply at Ike. * She hain t been heer d on since, as I knows on, 1 replied Ike ; but the doctor s in a dref-ul state. The game of chequers closed, and Ike and Bates moved around near Mr. Farindale. 1 Stranger, said Ike, travelled long in these ere parts 2 1 Not long but long enough. Goin on? * On where 2 * Why, on to the next place 2 1 Does Whistle & Sharp live hereabouts 2 inquired Farin dale, without answering Ike s qustions. 1 To be sure they do, said Ike ; I know em like a book ; am their torney. * Their attorney you their attorney attorney of Whistle & Sharp, said the stranger slowly and musingly, scratching his head with his fore-finger. Got any thing for em or agin em 2 inquired Ike. Are they good pay 2 inquired the stranger. Allers pays at the end of an execution, replied Ike never before allers takes a receipt on the docket make their settlements a matter of record puts things where they can t be ripp d up best way, ain t it, stranger 2 The stranger grunted, * Humph ! * And then, said Ike, l there s no dispute bout authority to collect. Every body can t tell who every body s agent is. One New-York dark run d away one year with all the col- 150 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. lections from Puddleford in his breeches pocket; but the Court has authority gin ral jurisdiction and the dis charge of a Court is a discharge what is a discharge. * That s a real opinion, exclaimed Longbow, who had not spoken for half an hour ; * there s nothin like a Court to put a finish on-ter things ; and the Squire gave two or three heavy coughs, and blew his nose into his red cotton-handkerchief, and doubling it up into a wad, looked around very gravely at Farindale as he dropped it back into his hat. Authority! The authority of Courts to collect debts! They may have authority, but I never saw a Court that had the power to collect a debt of me, exclaimed the Colonel, shifting his tobacco from one side of his mouth to the other as he spoke ; and I never put in a plea in my life the plea always puts itself in, and is a dead bar to further pro ceedings every time no assets nothing whereon to levy Nully Bony ! Nully Bony ! you mean, said the Squire, horror-stricken at the Colonel s use of law language. 1 That B it, said Bates ; hain t got nothin to get onter * And ain t no where to be found, nor nothin , added Turtle. Just so, said the Colonel ; a kind of general suspension for want of capital the fiddle s on hand, but the bow is gone. The stranger was puzzled at the Puddlefordian view of pay ing debts, and wondered if Whistle & Sharp were advocates of the same doctrine. Stranger ! said Bates, turning the subject of conversa tion ; do you ever hunt ? Never, answered Farindale. Rare sport to-night, going a-sniping, said Bates. HUNTING SNIPE. 151 inquired the stranger, emphasizing tne first syllable ; m -ping ! what is sm-ping ? #m ping, answered Bates why, catching snipe, to be sure/ * Great sport, said the Colonel ; bagged three hundred night before last 1 The real yaller legs, too ! remarked Turtle. Farindale said he would like to accompany them never saw a snipe in his life would like to take one back to the city. Do they sing ? he inquired, turning to Turtle. * Great singers ! catch any tune ! s prising critters to lam, answered Ike: got one up to my house that goes thro* half of Old Hundred, by jest hearing the folks hum it round the house/ * jRe-mark-able ! exclaimed Farindale. Great eating, too, said Longbow. Hain t got mor n two or three bones in their whole body ; all the rest meat, said Bates. Preparations were immediately made for the sniping ex pedition. The stranger put on his India-rubber boots, and shawls, and overcoat ; Ike procured a large bag of Bulli- phant ; and all hands, excepting Squire Longbow, whose dignity forbade any thing like sport, wended their way to the river, where, Turtle said, there were whole droves on em. 4 Now, whispered Turtle, drawing Farindale close to him, and holding his arm all the while as he spoke in his ear, we must keep very still snipe are scary critters, and when they get frightened they put straight for the river. There is a big log out yonder a favorite spot of theirs down which they travel and jump off into the river. You jest take this ere bag, creep softly down to the log, slip the bag over the end on t, and wait there until we drive in the snipe. Do n t speak do n t move ; make em think you are the trunk of 152 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. a tree ; and when the bag is full, slip it off and close it in a jiffey. Yes ! yes ! whispered back Farindale. * Mind, do n t stir from your post til I halloo. 7 No ! no ! said Farindale. Farindale did as he was directed. He found, however, a foot of black muck ; but, after * slumping awhile, he ma naged to plant his spread legs out like a pair of extended compasses, and slide the bag over the log. Here he stood, half bent together, grasping the bag, and waiting for snipe. There was a beating of the bushes around him ; then all was still ; then another beating and another, and then a longer silence. Farindale was sinking deeper and deeper in the mud, and the water was nearly to the top of his boots. By and by, the noises ceased no footstep could be heard, and the stranger was alone with the bag and the log, and half up to his middle waiting for snipe. What ever became of the Puddlefordians is more than I can say. Farindale returned to the Eagle alone. Early the next morning he might have been found in anxious consulta tion with Whistle & Sharp concerning a claim there of a hundred and twelve dollars, and interest after six months, which he was very desirous to secure or settle. Mr. Whistle, the senior member of the firm of Whistle & Sharp, was a very thin-faced man, with sandy hair that had seldom been combed, and he wore a faded blue coat with metal buttons, the two behind having been placed just under his arm-pits, which made him look as though some invisible power was all the while lifting him up from the ground. His woollen pantaloons had passed so many times through the wash-tub, that he was obliged to strain out the wrinkles when he put them on, and they clung as tight to his legs as his skin. Sharp was a little man, had a long face, and his mouth FARINDALE AND HIS DEBTORS. 153 seemed to have been bored for it was round about mid way between his chin and his forehead ; and he was always wasping around, giving consequential orders about nothing, and very often spoke of the firm of Whistle & Sharp, and what Whistle & Sharp had done, and what Whistle & Sharp could do, and would do. Mr. Whistle informed Mr. Farindale that * the debt could not be paid at present, although, he added, that the firm of Whistle & Sharp were good for ten times the amount/ And another ten top of that, added Sharp, from the other end of the store, where he was tumbling down and putting up goods by way of exercise. Can you secure them ? inquired Farindale. Well, now, you have said it ! exclaimed Whistle, with apparent astonishment. * What can be safer than the firm of Whistle & Sharp ? secure ! never had such a thing hinted before during the ten years of our business ! A mortgage, insinuated Farindale. Can t do that not no how : my old grandfather was swept out clean with a mortgage once ; took all he had, and he was compelled to emigrate ; died of broken heart at last. Then, said Farindale, I must sue. 1 What ! sue the firm of Whistle & Sharp ! very well, Sir, do, if you please. * Yes-sir-ee horse-cob ! Mr. Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale, exclaimed Sharp, springing at one bound over the counter ; just sue us if you please: we ll pay the costs! and Sharp whistled a tune with his eyes fixed steadily upon Fa- rindale. 1 Court sits next month, said Whistle. And we 11 confess judgment, said Sharp. And the pay is sure, said Whistle. 154 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. And no trouble here-arter ? said Sharp. Mr. Farindale began to think another sniping expedition was afoot. He was not a coward, if his cockneyism had lured him after snipe ; but he was unable to determine what kind of people the Puddlefordians were. He had never met any thing like them. So he sat in his chair, the account against Whistle & Sharp in his hand, tapping the floor with his right foot, trying to devise some way to secure his claim. A thought struck him. Pay it, and I will make a dis count of twenty-five per cent, said he. What s that you say I indignantly exclaimed Sharp. * Do you mean to injure our firm 1 the firm of Whistle & Sharp, who pay dollar for dollar ! That ere, Sir, is an insult. There s the door walk ! Sue ! but you can t insult us on our own premises. That s the way to talk it, Sir ! And Mr. Farindale did go, and he did sue, and the firm recovered a judgment against Whistle & Sharp for the sum of three hundred and twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents, and costs of suit. It was no great matter to recover a judgment against a Puddlefordian ; but it was something of a business to realize the damages. And that the reader may understand what kind of a prospect Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale had for their money, it is necessary to speak of the laws then in force for the collection of debts. The new States at that time were entirely * shingled over with relief laws, which were passed to save the property of the pioneer from sacrifice. There was scarcely any money in Puddleford, and exchanges were made by barter. Personal property was valued by its rela-. tion to other property : eight yards of calico were worth so much wheat, corn, potash, cord- wood, or saw-logs. The mer chant managed to turn his grain into high wines, or put it RELIEF LAWS. 155 in some other shape that would bear transportation, and he was thus enabled in time to pay his "debts. The farmer gave the mechanic an order on the merchant; the professional man took an order on the merchant ; the day-laborer took an order on the merchant ; every body took an order on the merchant. The merchant was general paymaster : what he could not, or would not pay, remained unpaid ; and he, in his turn, swept the farmer s crops, and took every thing avail able ; and the balance yet his due, and remaining unpaid, if any, was carried over against the farmer, and against the next crop. Thus, the whole business of Puddleford ran through the merchant like wheat through a mill, and gene rally at a profit to the latter of from seventy-five to a hun dred per cent. It was this condition of the country that drove the legis lature into the enactment of relief-laws. As there was no money to pay debts, it was enacted that property should be a legal tender. The law in force, at the date of the judg ment against Whistle & Sharp, was a beautiful specimen of legislative impudence and ingenuity. It was a relief-law I One section of the act provided, in substance, that upon the presentation of an execution, issued by any Court in the State, by the officer to whom the same shall be directed, to the debtor or debtors mentioned therein, such debtor or debt ors may turn out any property, personal or real, to said of- cer who shall levy on the same ; and the said officer shall cause the same to be appraised by three appraisers, one to be chosen by the plaintiff, one by the defendant, and one by the officer, who shall forthwith be sworn, etc., and proceed to appraise said property turned out at its true cash value ; and the said plaintiff in such execution shall receive said property at two thirds its appraised value ; and, if he refuse, he shall not proceed any farther with his execution, or have 156 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. another, until he first pay up all the costs of said appraise ment* An execution was issued by J. Snappit, Esq., attorney for Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale, upon the judgment recorded as aforesaid, against the firm of Whistle & Sharp, and put into the hands of the sheriff for collection. Now the sheriff of the county which included Puddleford within its limits was an accommodating man, a humane man, a man of the people, a politician. He did not think it necessary to oppress debtors who were unfortunately unable to pay their debts for the people elected him. Follett, Fizzlet & Farindale never voted for him never could vote for him ; Whistle & Sharp had, and would again. So the sheriff went down to Puddleford, and very politely informed them, with a wink, that he had that execution against them, and it must be paid. Jest so jest so, answered Sharp, reading over the writ: Whistle & Sharp always pay always have a pile of assets ready for a levy ; and returning the execution to the sheriff, begged a moment s delay, until we could consult with our attorney. Mr. Turtle was consulted, and the conclusion of Sharp s interview-with him amounted to this : that Turtle should go immediately, and purchase for Whistle & Sharp the old steamboat-cylinder, crank, and shaft ; and the parties sepa rated. The steamboat-cylinder, crank, and shaft, alluded to, was what Turtle called the Puddleford bank metallic basis. Some years before, a steamboat, on an exploring expedition up the river among its windings and sand-bars,. was wrecked, and a heavy cylinder, crank, and shaft, thrown ashore at * This is the substance of a portion of the act, as it stood in force some years. THE APPRAISERS. 157 Puddleford, where they lay at the period I speak of, and had for a long time, deeply imbedded in sand. This mass of iron, weighing many tons, had for- a long time been a perpetual bar to the collection of all debts against Puddlefordians. Chitty, in his Pleadings, never invented one so omnipotent. It suspended every execution directed against it. It was transferred, by bill of sale, from one Puddlefordian to anoth er, (as no creditor was ever found willing to receive it at any price,) as necessity required, and was considered, by common consent, public property a * bank, as Turtle called it, * to which any person had a right to resort in distress. * Turtle took a bill of sale of this iron from the last man in trouble, and turned it out to the sheriff on the execution against Whistle & Sharp. * Now, Mr. Sheriff, said Turtle, triumphantly, * bring on your appraers : a thousand dollars worth of property to pay a little over three hundred. My clients, Whistle & Sharp, are bunkum yet allers stands up to the rack at the end of an execution. Bring on your appmers, Mr. Sheriff. Mr. Turtle chose an appraiser first a second cousin of Mr. Whistle, of the firm of Whistle & Sharp, and a man who was deeply in debt on their books a bilious, weazen- faced, melancholy-looking man, who had acquired a great reputation for wisdom by saying nothing whose name was Clinket. No one appearing to choose for the plaintiffs, the sheriff selected the other two. He named Mr. Troper, a seedy old fellow, whose crown was half out of his hat, whose beard was white, his nose red, and who had a whiskey- cough, and who was in the habit of visiting the barrel-tap of Whistle & Sharp three or four times a day, in considera tion of odd jobs performed by him around the store ; also, Mr. Fatter, a chubby-faced, twinkle-eyed wag, who would * This is a literal fact. 158 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. not hesitate to perpetrate a good joke, even under oath, par ticularly upon non-residents. The Puddlefordians were out in mass to see Follett & Co. try a run on their bank. Many remarks were made. Bulliphant said the cylinder alone cost five hundred dol lars. Snipes said * it was a bully piece of stuff. How much is the debt ? inquired Bates. * Two thirds of twelve hundred, exclaimed Turtle, loudly, is eight hundred. Worth the debt for old iron, said the Colonel. These remarks, designed for the appraisers, had their ef fect ; they examined ; they figured ; retired for consultation ; returned ; retired again ; and finally appraised the property turned out at sixteen hundred dollars ; paying, at two thirds its value, the debt of Whistle & Sharp, and leaving a very handsome surplus due them from their creditors. But I am very happy to be enabled to say that Whistle & Sharp most magnanimously offered to release all their claim on the levy to Follett & Co., if they would take the property, and discharge the judgment and costs, making, as they said in their letter to them, * a clear profit on their part of from four to five hundred dollars. MORE ARRIVALS. 159 CHAPTER XIII. The Fev Nag Conflicting Theories Oxergin and Hydergin Teazle s Rationale The Scourge of the West Silo Bates, and his Condition Squire Longbow, and Jim Buzzard Puddleford Prostrate Various Practitioners The Billerous Duck Pio neer Martyrs Wave over "Wave. DURING my first fall s residence at Puddleford, I frequently heard a character spoken of, who seemed to be full as famous in the annals of the place as Squire Longbow himself. He was called by a great variety of names, and very seldom alluded to with respect. He was termed the Fev-Nag, the Ag-an-Fev, the Shakin Ager, the Shakes, and a great variety of other hard names were visited upon him. That he was the greatest scourge Puddleford had to con tend with, no one denied. Who he really was, what he was, where born, and for what purpose, was a question. Dobbs had one theory, Short another, and Teazle still another. Dr. Dobbs said that his appearance must be accounted for in this wise that the marshes were all covered with water in the Spring, that the sun began to grow so all-fir d hot long bout July and August, that it cream d over the water with a green scum, and rotted the grass, and this all got stewed inter a morning fog, that rose up and elated itself among the Ox-er-gin and Hy-der-gin, and pizened every body it touched. Dr. Dobbs delivered this opinion at the public house, in a very oracular style. I noticed several Puddlefordians in his presence at the time, and before he closed, their jaws drop- 160 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. peel, and their gaping mouths and expanded eyes were fixed upon him with wonder. Dr. Teazle declared that Dobbs did n t know any thing about it. He said the ager was buried up in the airth, and that when the sile was turned up, it got loose, and folks breath d it into their lungs and from the lungs it went into the liver, and from the liver it went to the kidneys, and the secretions got fuzzled up, and the bile turn d black, and the blood did n t run, and it set every body s inards all a-tremblinV Without attempting the origin of the ague and fever, it was, and always has been the scourge of the West. It is the foe that the West has ever had to contend with. It delays improvement, saps constitutions, shatters the whole man, and lays the foundation for innumerable diseases that follow and finish the work for the grave. It is not only ague and fever that so seriously prostrates the pioneer; but the whole family of intermittent and remittent fevers, all results of the same cause, press in to destroy. Perhaps no one evil is so much dreaded. Labor, privation, poverty are nothing in comparison. It is, of course, fought in a great variety of ways, and the remedies are as numerous as they are ridiculous. A physician who is really skillful in the treatment of these diseases is, of course, on the road to wealth, but skillful physicians were not frequent in Puddle- ford, as the reader has probably discovered. I recollect that during the months of September and October, subsequently to my arrival, all Puddleford was 4 down, to use the expression of the country ; and if the reader will bear with me, and pledge himself not to accuse me of trifling with so serious a subject, I will endeavor to describe Puddleford in distress. I will premise by saying that it is expected that persons SILE BATES DOWN. 161 who are on their feet during these visitations, give up their time and means to those who are not. There is a noble ness of soul in a western community in this respect, that does honor to human nature. A village is one great family every member must be provided for old grudges are, for the time, buried. I have now a very vivid remembrance of seeing Sile Bates, one bright October morning, walking through the main street of Puddleford, at the pace of a funeral procession, his old winter overcoat on, and a faded shawl tied about his cheeks. Sile informed me that he believed the ager was comin on-ter him that he had a spell on t the day be fore, and the day before that that he had been a-stewin up things to break the fits, and clean out his constitution, but it stuck to him like death on-ter a nigger he said his woman and two boys were shakin like all possess t, and he rally believed if some body did n t stop it, the log cabin would tumble down round their ears. He said there war n t nobody to do nuthin bout house, and that all the neighbors were worse off than he was. Sile was a melancholy object indeed. And in all con science, reader, did you ever behold so solemn, wo-begone a thing on the round earth, as a man undergoing the full merits of ague and fever 1 Sile sat down on a barrel and commenced gaping and stretching, and now and then drop ped a remark expressive of his condition. He finally began to chatter, and the more he chattered, the more ferocious he waxed. He swore * that if he ever got well, he d burn his house, sell his traps, bandon his land, pile his family into his cart, hitch on his oxen, and drive em, and drive em to the north pole, where there war n t no ager, he knew. One minit, he said, he was a-freezin , and then he was a- burnin , and then he was a-sweatin to death, and then he 162 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. had a well day, and that did n t mount to nothin , for the critter was only gettin strength to jump on him agin the next. Sile at last exhausted himself, and getting upon his feet went off muttering and shaking toward his house. The next man I met was Squire Longbow. The Squire was moving slower, if possible, than Bates. His face looked as if it had been just turned out of yellow oak, and his eyes were as yellow as his face. As the Squire never surrendered to any thing, I found him not disposed to surrender to ague and fever. He said he d only had a little brush, but he d knock it out on-him in a day or two. He was jist goin out to scrape some elder bark up, to act as an emetic, as Aunt Sonora said if he scraped it down, it would have t other effect and that would kill it as dead as a door-nail. I soon overhauled Jim Buzzard, lying half asleep in the bottom of his canoe, brushing off flies with an oak branch. Jim, too, was a case, but it required something more than sickness to disturb his equilibrium. Jim said he war n t sick, but he felt the awfullest tired any dog ever did he was the all-thunderest cold t other day, he ever was in -hot weather somethin nother came on-ter him all of a sud- dint, and set his knees all goin and his jaws a quiv rin , and so he li d down in-ter the sun,-but the more he li d, the more he kept on a shakin , and then that are all went off agin, and he d be darned to gracious, if he did n t think he d burn up and so he just jumped inter the river, and cool d off and, now he feel d jist so agin and so he d got where the sun could strike him a little harder this time. What shall a feller do? at last inquired Jim. Take medicine, said I. 1 Not by a jug-full, said Jim. Them are doctors don t get any of their stuff down my throat. If I can t stand it as long as the ager, then I ll give in. Let-er-shake if it > H - -- t . >/~~i - v-Mtt&tiSsii/K . \j-,iii % $ KT^.^ -^ [ JIM BUZZARD AND THE AGER. " Them ere doctors don t pet any of tlieir stuff down my throat. If I can t stand it us lonfr as the iKjtr, tlien I ll give in." ---- Page 16-2. GENERAL DOWNISHNESS. 163 warnts to it works harder than I do, and will get tir d bym-by. Have you a little plug by-yer jest now, as I have n t had a chew sin morning, as it may help a feller some ? Jim took the tobacco, rolled over in his canoe, gave a grunt, and composed himself for sleep. This portrait of Buzzard would not be ludicrous, if it was not true. Whether Socrates or Plato, or any other heathen philosopher, has ever attempted to define this kind of happi ness, is more than I can say. In fact, reader, I do hot be- live that there was one real Jim Buzzard in the whole Grecian republic. But why speak of individual cases ? Nearly all Puddle- ford was prostrate man, woman, and child. There were a few exceptions, and the aid of those few was nothing com pared to the great demand of the sick. It was providential that the nature of the disease admitted of one well day, because there was an opportunity to * exchange works, and the sick of to-day could assist the sick of to-morrow, and so vice versa. I looked through the sick families, and found the patients in all conditions. One lady had just broke the ager on-to her by sax-fax tea, mix d with Columbo. Another had been a-tryin eli-cum-paine and pop lar bark, but it didn t lie good on her stomach, and made her eny most crazy. Another woman was so as to be crawlin , another was getting quite peert another couldn t keep any thing down, she felt so qualmy another said, the disease was runnin her right inter the black janders, and then she was gone another had run clear of yesterday s chill, and was now going to weather it, and so on, through scores of cases. It is worthy of note, the popular opinion of the character of this disease. Although Puddleford had been afflicted with it for years, yet it was no better understood by the 164 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. mass of community than it was at first. I have already given the opinion of Dobbs and Teazle of the causes of the ague ; but as Dobbs and Teazle held entirely different theo ries, Puddleford was not much enlightened by their wisdom. (If some friend will inform me when and where any communi ty was ever enlightened by the united opinion of its physicians, I will publish it in my next work.) Aunt Sonora had a theory which was a little old, but it was hers, and she had a right to it. She said no body on airth could live with a stomach full of bile, and when the shakin ager come on, you d jest got-ter go to work and get off all the bile bile was the ager, and physicians might talk to her till she was gray, bout well folks having bile she know d better t war n t no such thing. Now Aunt Sonora practised upon this theory, and the excellent old lady administered a cart-load of boneset every season blows to elevate the bile, and the leaf as a tonic. Ilowever erroneous her theory might have been, I am bound to say that her practice was about as successful as that of the regular physician. Mr. Beagles declared that the ague was in the blood, and the patient must first get rid of all his bad blood, and then the ager would go along with it. Swipes said * it was all in the stomach. Dobbs said the billerous duck chok d up with the mash fogs, and the secretions went every which way, and the liver got as hard as sole-leather, and the patient becom sick, and the ager set in, and then the fever, and the hull system got-er goin wrong, and if it war n t stopped, natur d give out, and the man would die. Teazle said it com d from the plough d earth, and got inter the air, and jist so long as folks breath d aguery air, jist so long they d have the ager. Turtle said the whole tribe on em, men-doctors and women-doctors, were blockheads, and the VARYING OPINIONS. 165 surest way to get rid of the ager, was to let it run, and when it had run itself out, it would stop, and not afore. Here then, was Puddleford, at the mercy of a dozen theories, and yet men and women recovered, when the sea son had run its course, and were tolerably sure of health, until another year brought around another instalment of miasma. How many crops of men have been swept off by the malaria of every new western country, I will not attempt to calculate ! How many, few persons have ever attempted ! This item very seldom goes into the cost of colonization. Pioneers are martyrs in a sublime sense, and it is over their bones that school-houses, churches, colleges, learning, and refinement are finally planted. But the death of a pioneer is a matter of no moment in our country it is almost as trifling a thing as the death of a soldier in an Indian fight. There is no glory to be won on any such field. One genera tion rides over another, like waves over waves, and no such miserable interrogatory, as Where has it gone ? or How did it go? is put; but What did it do? What has it left behind ? Any one who has long been a resident in the West, must have noticed the operation of climate upon the constitution. The man from the New-England mountains, with sinews of steel,- soon finds himself flagging amid western miasma, and a kind of stupidity creeps over him, that it is impossible to shake off. The system grows torpid, the energies die, in difference takes possession, and thus he vegetates he does not live. And, dear reader, it does not lighten the gloom of the picture, to find Dobbs, and Teazle, and Short quarrelling over the remains of some departed one, endeavoring to de lude the public into something themselves have no conception 166 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. of, about the manner in which he or she went out of the world. Not that all the physicians are Dobbses or Teazles, but these sketches are written away out on the rim of soci ety, the rim of Western society, where the townships are not yet all organized, and a sacred regard to truth compels me to record facts as they exist. UNCOMMONLY COMMON SCHOOLS. 167 CHAPTER XIV. Uncommonly Common Schools Annual School District Meeting Accounts for Contingent Expenses Turtle, and Old Gulick s Boy That are Glass The Colonel starts the wheels again Bulli- phant s Tactics Have we hired Dea. Muett s darter, or not ? Izabel Strickett Bunker Hill and Turkey Sah- Jane Beagles The Question Settled. COMMON schools are said to be the engine of popular liberty. I think we had some of the most raw-commonly common schools, at Puddleford that could be found any where under the wings of the American eagle. Our system was, of course, the same as that of all other townships in the State, but its administration was not in all respects what it should be. Our schools were managed by Puddlefordians, and they were responsible only for the talent which had been given them. Every citizen knows that our government is a piece of mechanism, made up of wheels within wheels, and while these wheels are in one sense totally independent, and stand still or turn as they are moved or let alone, yet they may indirectly affect the whole. In other words, our government is like a cluster of Chinese balls, curiously wrought within, and detached from each other, and yet it is, after all, but one ball. There is something beautiful in the construction and operation of this piece of machinery. A school-district is one machine, a township another, a county another, and a state another all independent organiza tions, yet every community must- work its own organization. They are not operated afar off by some great central power, over the heads of the people ; but they are worked by the people themselves, for themselves. 168 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. However clumsily the work may be performed at first, practice makes perfect, and men become the masters, as well as the administrators of their own laws. We had an annual school-district meeting in the village of Puddleford and there were many others in the country at the same time for the township was cut up into several districts, and I never attended one that did not end in a * row, to use a Western classical expression. The business of these meetings was all prescribed by statute, and it amounted to settling and allowing the accounts of the board for the last school year, voting contingent fund for the next, determining whether a school should be taught by a male or a female teacher, and for how many months, and the election of new officers. The last meeting I attended, Longbow was in the chair by virtue of his office as president of the school district board. Being organized, the clerk of the board presented his ac count for contingent expenses, and Longbow wished to know * if the meetin would pass em. Turtle wanted to hear em read. Longbow said * the only account they had was in their head. Turtle said * that war n t cording to the staterts. Longbow said he d risk that his word was as good as any body s writin , or any statert. Turtle said he d hear what they was, but t war n t right, and for his part, he did n t b lieve the board know d what they d been about for the last six months. Longbow raised his green shade from his blind eye, rose on his feet, looked down very ferociously upon Turtle, stamped his foot, and informed Ike that this was an org nized meet- in , and he mustn t reflect on-ter the officers of the cfo-strict; t was criminal ! SQUANDERING FUNDS. 169 The account was then repeated by Longbow, item by item, and among the rest was two shillings for setting glass. When glass was mentioned, Turtle sprang to his feet again. Thar, old man/ he exclaimed, rapping his knuckles on the desk, * thar s where I se got you thar s a breach er trust, a squand rin of funds, that aint a-going to go down in this ere meeting. Old Gulick s boy broke that are glass just out of sheer dev ltry, and you s pose this ere school ofc-strict is a-going to pay for t ? What do you s pose these ere staterts was passed for ? What do you s pose you was lected for? To pay for old Gulick s boy? well, I rather caklate not, by the light of this ere moon not in this ere age of Puddleford ! Squire Longbow took a large chew of plug-tobacco, which I thought he nipped off very short, and remained standing with his eyes fixed on Turtle. Sile Bates rose, and said 4 he wanted to know the particu lars bout that are glass ! Longbow said the board spended money in their scretion, and twarn t fur Turtle c-r Bates, or any body else, to raign em up fore this ere me*. tin . Here was a long pause. The Colonel finally arose, put his hand deliberately into his pocket, drew out a quarter, and flung it at the Squire, and hop d the meetin would go on, as it was the first public gathering that he ever knew blocked by twenty-five cents. This settled the difficulty, and the report for contingent expenses was adopted. Bulliphant then said he had a motion. IT- naov d tl we hii-p Dear-m Fhiett^ dn-rer to ke< | The 8quir< : le m - ; D >, but it con say iiiaio or leuuuy icaoiiOr. 1 8 170 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS FEOPLE. Bulliphant * moved we hire a female, and we recommend Deacon Fluett s darter. Bates said lie jest as lieve have one of FJnett s two year olds. The Colonel said she couldn t spell Baker/ Swipes thought she was scarcely fit to go to school. Turtle said the meetin had n t got nothin to do with it, no-how, and the whole motion was agin law. Bulliphant, who had become a little out of htimor, then moved that we don t hire Deacon Fluett s darter. Bates declar d * the motion out of order/ .The Squire said he guess d the motion was proper. The staterts said the ineetin shouldn t hire any body, but the de-strict board should ; and this ere motion was just cording to statert/ But the meeting voted down Bulliphant s motion, and Bulliphant then declared that the vote was tan-ter-mount to a resolve to hire the woman/ Here was a parliamentary entanglement that occupied an hour ; but the Colonel settled it at last, by reminding the president that it was two negatives that made one affirma tive not one ; and the Squire said so he believed he had seen it laid down inter the books/ But I cannot attempt to report the proceedings of this- miscellaneous body. The business occupied some four or five hours, and was finally brought to a close. A new school board was elected, and your humble servant was one of the number ; positively the first office that was ever visited upon him. The great question with two of the members of our board, in hiring a teacher, was the price. Qualification was second ary. The first application was made by a long-armed, red- STRICKETT S EXAMINATION. 171 necked, fiery-headed youth of about nineteen years, who had managed to run himself up into the world about six feet two inches, and who had not worn off his flesh by hard study, and who carried about him digestive organs as strong as the bowels of a thrashing-machine. He wanted a school, cause he had nothing else to do in the winter months. He was accordingly introduced to our School Inspectors ; the only one of whom I knew was Bates. The other two were rather more frightened at the presentation than the applicant himself. Bates .proposed first to try the gentleman in geography, and history. * Where s Bunker Hill ? inquired Bates, au thoritatively. Wai, bout that, said Strickett our applicant called his name Izabel Strickett bout that, why, it s where the battle was fit, war n t it ? Jes so, replied Bates ; and where was that ? Down at the east ard. Who did the fighting there ? Gin ral Washington fit all the revolution. Where s Spain ? Where ? repeated Strickett Spain ? where is it 3 Yes! where? Wai now, exclaimed Strickett, looking steadily on the floor. I ll be darn d if that ere haint just slipped my mind. Where s Turkey? Oh yes, said Strickett, Turkey the place they call Turkey if you d ask d me in the street, I d told you right off, but I Ve got so fruster d I do n t know nothin , and thinking a moment, he exclaimed, it s where the Turks live. I thought I know d. How many States are there in the Union ? 172 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Tween twenty-five and thirty throwin out Canady. Bates then attempted an examination in reading and spell ing. Spell hos ! said Bates. H o s. Thunder ! roared Bates. Bates did know how to spell horse. He had seen notices of stray horses, and a horse was the most conspicuous object in Puddleford, excepting, of course, Squire Longbow. II o s I that s a hos-of-a- way to spell hos/ and Bates looked at Strickett very severely, feeling a pride of his own knowledge. Strickett said * he tis d the book when he teach d school he did n t teach out of his head and he did n t believe the spectors themselves could spell Ompompanoosuck right off, without getting stuck. Izabel s examination was something after this sort, through the several English branches ; yet a majority of the Board of School Inspectors decided to give him a certificate, if we said so, as he was to teach our school, and we were more in terested than they in his qualifications ; and whether the In spectors knew what his qualifications really were * this deponent saith not. Strickett sloped. The next application was by letter. The epistle declared that the applicant * brok d his arm inter a saw-mill, and he could n t do much out-door werk till it heal d up agin, and if we d hire him to carry on our sckool, he tho t he would make it go well nough, but the School Board decided that all-powerful as sympathy might be, it could scarcely drive a district school under such orthography, syntax, and prosody. Next appeared Mrs. Beagles, in behalf of her Sah-Jane. She know d Sah-Jane, and she know d Sah-Jane was jist the thing for the Puddleford school ; and if we only know d Sah-Jane as well as she know d Sah-Jane, we d have her, SAH-JANE S ILL-SUCCESS. 173 cost what it might. She said Sah-Jano was a most s pri- sin gal she hung right to her boots, day and night and she know d she had a sleight at teachin . Mr. Giblett s folks told Mr. Brown s folks, so she heer d, that if they ever did get Sah-Jane into that ere school, she d make a buzzin that would tell some. Sah- Jane s case was, however, indefinitely postponed. Some objections, among other things, on the score of age, were suggested. This roused the wrath of Mrs. Beagles, and she guessed her Sah-Jane was old enough to teach a Pud dleford school if she tho t she warn t, she d bile her up in-ter soap-grease, and sell her for a shilling a quart ! and as for the dfe-strict board, they d better go to a school-marm themselves, and lam something or be lected over agin , she didn t care which; and Mrs. Beagles left at a very quick step, her face much flushed and full of cayenne and vengeance. There were a great many more applications, and at last the Board hired I say the Board ---/ did nt. But the other members overruled me, and price, not qualification, settled the question at last. This was the way the machinery was worked in our school-district, during the very early days of Puddleford. As the stream never rises above the fountain-head, education was quite feeble. But we do better now there is less friction on our gudgeons, and if Puddleford should turn out a President one of these days, it would be nothing more than what our glorious institutions have before ground out under more discouraging circumstances. 174 riJDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER XV. Abolition Meeting at Puddleford The Late Rev. Mr. Billet Longbow, and his Responsibilities Collision between Bates and the Squire The Log-Chapel filled Bates Opening Remarks Turtle s Interpolations An Open Question Longbow, to the Rescue ! Three Cheers Appointment of a President Mr. Billet ->- His Philosophy of the Institution of Slavery Turtle on Hand What would Billett Do ? Resolutions Offered by Silo Bates Ike s Amendments Adjournment of the Meeting, and Hegira of the Lecturer. I THINK I told you, reader, at the commencement of these sketches, that Puddleford was in the United States that it was a part of this great republic a brick in the temple of freedom. Puddleford was, of course, brimful of pa triotism. She was very jealous of her rights, too. Squire Longbow used to say that part of the United States Capitol-building, of the great docks, men-of-war, gov ment lands, and a great many more things belonged to Puddle- ford, and we d got to take care on-em that there warn t no use in letting things go hilter-skilter, and if Pud dleford made her voice heard, they would n t. Public meetings were often held for the good of the Union reso lutions adopted both of praise and of condemnation and when our country was in jeopardy, Longbow and Turtle gave a set-speech, that made it all shake again ! Reader, you have attended an abolition meeting but then you never did at Puddleford. We used to have meet ings that ivere meetings. What if we were a mere nook or corner of the world; wlien the political waters were MR. BILLET S MISSION. 175 agitated by a national question, the surf rolled in around us as tempest-tost, and furiously, as any where else. We had an abolition meeting about these days. It was got up by a roving character, who had busied himself turn ing men and things topsy-turvy for a twelve-month. He came into Puddleforcl, one evening, on foot, carrying a black bag and a heavy staff. His eye was wild, his hair red, his face pock-marked. He stopped at Bulliphant s tavern, and placarded his mission as follows : < MILLIONS OF NEGROES IN BONDAGE! * All starving for bread ! bound in chains ! and a- groaning for freedom ! The late Rev. Mr. Billet will lecture at the Log-chapel, this evening, on the eternal rights of man, negro-slavery, kidnapping, &c., and will answer all questions that may be asked! Now, Turtle and Longbow were what are called pro- slavery men. Bates was an abolitionist. Turtle, who hap pened to be by, read the notice, and said, he d go and hear him, as it was the first time he d had an opportunity of hearing a dead man speak. Billet, who sat near and heard the remark, said he warn t dead he was only a late Rev. not a late Mr. Billet Turtle asked him where he preached ? Billet said he us d to lecter the Sunday-school down on the TFar-bash. There was a great stir all over Puddleford, as soon as the notice became public. Any new event excited the Puddle- fordians, but Billet s notice created unusual commotion. Longbow ran up and down the street several times, and used some very large words. He said he was a magistrate, and kept the peace, and all the laws of the country must be 176 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. look d arter by him. He did n t know whether the notice was agin the constitution or not, but if he rally tho t it was, he M blow it to flinders. There warn t nothin in the staterts tor it, or agin it. It rather run in-ter the chapter on con spiracies and affrays, but the row hadn t begun yet. And the people had a right to talk that had been decided by Jefferson and Story. He would say, however, that every body had better recollect that they were citizens of a great republic, and he hoped they would n t do nothing to injure the feelings of the men who made the Declaration of In dependence. Sile Bates, who heard the Squire through, said there warn t no danger of that now, he guessed the rneetin" had got to go on. The Squire replied to Bates with profound dignity, that he must n t say got-to to him ! he was a justice ! duly elected and sworn ! and was under oath every minute 1 and he would commit him for contempt, in-s&m-ter, or sum- ril-y, as Story has it ! Bates told the Squire, in a triumphant way, that he could n t do it he did n t know how to make out the wri tin s the meeting must go on and he might go to ! The Squire said he would order Bates to be arrested and that was all the law required of him -if the people of Puddleford would stand by and see the laws trampled in-ter the dirt, he couldn t help it but he d report em all to the higher Courts, for treason! . The Squire, filled with wrath and patriotism, hurried to his office, and set himself about a state of preparation for the meeting. He called in Turtle to aid him in his troubles. Turtle, who was really the pillar of Puddleford, as our read ers have seen, although he managed things in his own BATES TAKES THE CHAIR. 177 peculiar way, directed the Squire to take all the stater ts, and pamphlets, and speeches he could find up to the meet ing, and they d give em fits til the fur flew ! The Log-chapel was filled at the time appointed. All Puddleford was there and many had attended for the first time an abolition meeting not knowing what it was, in fact, held for or what was to be the subject discussed. Bates took the chair, and placed Mr. Billet at his right hand, and called the meeting to order. Now, in truth, Bates was a fanatic. He looked at every thing in the world through negro-slavery it was the prism that colored every object beyond it he had torn this idea from every other truth with which it is connected, and he rode it out of sight and hearing of common sense and common reason. He belonged to that class of persons, who say there is no such thing as ultraism, because a truth cannot be carried too far for getting the relation that exists between different truths. Bates believed the negro-race was in nature superior to the white, and often declared that the fore-fathers of the South ern slaves built Memphis and Thebes, and he warn t certain that Adam himself was white. It was impossible to begin a conversation with him that did n t end in his favorite sub ject. Jf one alluded to the arrival of the mail in his presence, he informed us that we paid postage for the bloody-slaveholders, as he called the whole South. Ho hated cotton-goods, molasses and brown sugar, because it all smelt of slavery he fairly hated the map of the South ern States; but never mind, Bates took the chair. Feller citizens, said Bates, rising, you Ve hearn the notice, and know what we re come for. There are a great many color d gentlemen down South some call em nig gers but they are just as much gentlemen as you or I millions on- em tied up in-ter bondage, too grievous to be 8* 178 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. told on, and we ve come here to do something for em. Now/ continued Bates, swinging his right arm violently over his head, and stamping his foot, I m for just bursting their bonds at onst not an hour not a minute more of these ere chains ! (Cheers.) The negro, said Bates, after the cheering lulled, is the most anclentest man we read of. There was a Mr. Canible, or Hannibal, or Skip-io (Mr. Bil let rose, and said it was Scipio) * a Mr. Skipio, who led the armies of the world, and he was as black as the ace of spades. (Mr. Turtle here rose and said that warn t so he was a copper-color most likely an Indian or some other kind of a man. ) Black as the ace of spades ! I repeat it, continued Bates and then there was a Mr. Tolumus, (Ptolemy,) who built Thebes, and all the Thebans themselves, negroes every soul on em, and if you do n t be lieve it, just go to museums and look at their mummies and Mr. Turtle rose again, and would like to know whether General Washington was a negro or a white man ? Bates, in reply, said he did n t want to be disturbed, but as he, the Gin ral, was a Virginian, he rather guess d it was an open question. Mr. Turtle informed Mr. Bates that he was a jackass ! and that warn t an open question. Bates looked down very indignantly, from his elevated po sition, and informed Turtle, that if he war n t a-sorter Presi dent of this ere meeting, he would quietly boot him out of the house. At this point, several persons in the audience sprang to their feet; and among them I noticed the Colonel, Long bow, Bulliphant, Beagle, and Swipes. Longbow instantly fluttered a cotton handkerchief over the crowd, to attract the attention of those persons who might riot be aware of his THE SQUIRE GOES IN FOR FREE DISCUSSION. 179 august presence, and, after fixing the eyes and ears of all, said in ;i heavy, sepulchral tone : In the name of the People of i.he State of . , and by virtue of the Constitution of the United States, this ere thing can t go on no longer all this meet-in has gone along t o ther eend up, ever since it open d. The contract was that Billet should speak, (Here the Squire blew his nose with the said cotton handkerchief, and drew out one of Billet s notices, calling the meeting, and shook it fiercely at Billet,) and la is la and contracts is contracts, and frauds is frauds, and the patience of this au dience is nearly giu out. The Squire said, he did n t come to hear Bates speak he d rather stay at home, and hear the whip-par- wills sing, than fool away his time with Bates, on Boblition. Mr. Billet had the right-er freedom of speech and after exaininin the thorities on that pint, he rathei tho t he had a right to go ahead, but he must n t trample on-ter the sovereignty of the people nor use hash language agin the laws, for them he had sworn to protect and he meant to do it fodder or no fodder. The Squire sntdown and puffed heavily. The Colonel instantly -sprang upon his feet and proposed three cheers for Longbow, who had so clearly defined things, and the three cheers were accordingly given. The Colonel made his motion ironically, but the audience received it in good faith. An hour was thus passed, and the meeting was not yet organized; in fact, its preliminaries were not yet settled. Bates was temporarily self-constituted President, and Billet sat by his side, waiting for its formal organization, and had so sat during all this time. Sile Bates now stepped up to the side of the desk, and, peering around among his friends, through the shadows cast by the four tallow candles that glimmered by his side re.- 180 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLED ally hop d some gentleman would move the appointment of a reg lar President but there was no motion made ; * P raps the Colonel will do it, continued Sile, fixing his eye upon him, in the north-east corner of the house. Can t do it, no how, answered the Colonel I go for Longbow and the Constitution don t know but it would be treason to make such a motion the country has used me hard, but I go for it right or wrong. Longbow jumped up, and, turning round to the Colonel, remarked, that such a motion loarrit treason and, for fear he might be charg d with standing in the way of free speech, he d make it himself, and so he did, and Sile was elected President. Mr. Billet was introduced by Bates to the audience, as a man, among other things, who war n t afear d of nothing, and made wickedness shake in high places. I suppose I ought to give my readers a description of Bil let not for his own sake, but because he is one of a class of men, whose history ought to be written for the benefit of mankind in general. Billet was born of respectable parents, and lounged about he never worked his father s farm, until he had arrived at about eighteen years of age he then taught school. then travelled the country lecturing as a phrenologist then lectured against phrenology then turned root doctor then commenced preaching on his own hook, overturning all theological notions but his own, and his own theology was made up of matters and things in general he then became an infidel then changed back again, and preached more furiously than ever . He had been a whig, a democrat, and was now, and for the last five years had been, an abolitionist and this last calling had taken such violent hold of him, that it seemed to have swallowed up his \yhole previous history. He was ignorant, confident, tur- ME. BILLET S LECTURE. - 181 bulent, and like a certain other gentleman we read of, in the book of Job, he was always happy in a storm. I shall not attempt to report Mr. Billet s speech, verbatim ; I must take his strong points from recollection. He opened his subject by informing his hearers, that * he was what was called an American citizen, but he was goin to talk the truth straight out, America or no America. He wanted every man to gin his attention, and not to holler, un less the truth made him holler, as he prayed it might. (Ike Turtle here gave a loud Amen ! ) He then said that folks talked about the Constitution of the United States but, my hearers, exclaimed Billet, * there ain t no such thing that instrument ain t worth any more than blank paper, because it enslaves negroes, and keeps them a-sweatin , and a-groan- in , and a-dyin , a-dowp among the swamps of Mississippi ! Mr. Billet said he spos d there were some four to eight millions of these ere creturs dying in this sort o-way. He would go into the history of negro slavery, and, throwing the Constitution aside, and taking the Bible, and the everlastin rights of man, would show how matters had got into sicli a horrible fix. The first negro was one Mr. Ham, the son of a Mr. Noah, who built the ark, and went out at the time of the flood you ll find his life in Gin-sis. Mr. Noah had three sons, two white, and one black. Mr. Ham war n t a fav rite of his father, and he turn d him adrift, somewhere on rat. He went down in Africa, and settled all by himself, and his two brothers went away by /Aemselves. There he built great cities, and got-ter-be a king and died. Now, my hearers, would you believe it, the very first thing we did, arter settlin this -country, was to go over and steal Ham s children, and work ? em to death, and (Mr. Turtle here rose and said he d never stole any on em.) 182 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Now what s to be done, is the next question for to night, continued Billet, disregarding Ike s parenthesis. Mr. Turtle said he d make a proposition. Mr. Billet hoped he would not be disturbed. Mr. Turtle thought he could settle the whole question to the satisfaction of the meetin , and save further argument. Mr. Billet said * he 1 d come to lecter. Mr. Turtle thought we had better buy up the whole slave population, and send em back agin, and he l a subscription paper ready to do it, and Turtle pulled out a very long paper and held it up to Billet. Mr. Billet would n t buy the freedom of human beings they d a right to their liberty, any-how. Mr. Turtle then hoped our forefathers, or their children, would fork back the money they got, when they sold out their blacks to the South, arter the revolution. Mr. Billet said that was a great while ago t was oiit- law d. Mr. Turtle thought there would be the more interest due on V Mr. Billet requested Squire Longbow to command the peace. The Squire said it was onconstitutional to put down free discussion. Mr. Turtle said he would withdraw for the present so Mr. Billet proceeded. But he was undor excitement. The flurry which had taken place, broke the thread of his dis course, which was running on so tranquilly, and Billet, en raged, broke out into a storm. He believed the government was a farce, got up by a gang of speculators, in 1776 ! that it wa n t good-for-nothing, and did n t bind nobody ! Vwant made for nothing but jest to keep the negroes un der ! That it was a great insfcrment of fraud ! that for GREAT EXCITEMENT. 183 his part he tore every paper that run agin the unaZ-in-er-able and divine rights of man, into nonentity, and scattered it to the four winds that all the glory of the United States did n t pay for slaving one black man, and for his part, he was ready now to to to (Here Billet stamped his foot, and looked wild, and paused.) 4 Well, exclaimed Turtle, springing to his feet, and shaking his forefinger deliberately at Billet, as he hung sus pended in the midst of his sentence what in cre-a-ted airth would you do ! Down plunged Billet. You are a blackguard ! he ex claimed, -turning to Ike, and striking the desk with his fist. That s a matter of opinion, answered Ike. You re another, exclaimed the Colonel, directing his re mark to Billet. * You are a tory, sir ! ejaculated Longbow ; you are a tory, sir ! Longbow was in a passion his face was flushed and his whole frame trembled. I say you are a tory, Mr. Billet. You re out side-er the pale of law, the staterts, and the constitution. You Ve laid yourself open to be hung, or gibbeted, and most any other kind-er ignominious death. Better men than you, sir, died long ago, on the scaffold, a-warnin to mankind. I am justis here, and have been for ten years, and my oath of office is on file in the upper courts. I am a peace-o/-ficer, sir. Mr. Turtle will read the staterts, sir; the declaration of independence, sir; the constitution, sir, to you, arter which, no obstrep rous words will be per mitted, under penalty, sir, of going out of that are winder, in that are corner, sir ; under the chapter on nuisances, rows, and mobs, sir, and the hull common law, sir. Squire Long bow sat down, punting, and large drops of sweat rolled from his face. Mr. Turtle arose, and informed the audience, with much 184 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. gravity but liis gravity looked very quizzical to me that things now were getting more solemn-like. That he had been commanded by Squire Longbow, who was a peace officer of Puddleford, to perform a duty, and he d got-ter do it. He would now say to Mr. Billet, (here Ike opened the Revised Laws, and laid them deliberately in his left hand.) He would say to Mr. Billet, that any thing was a nuisance that was in any body else s way, or in the government s way ; that the tories of 76 were nuisances, and were cons kently pitch d out of the way. Any thing in the way even words of the declaration, or constitution, was a nuisance. This kinder law, continued Ike, you 11 find all along in this ere book, from I to Izzard. (Here Ike held up the Revised Laws, over his head, for a minute or more.) And then, continued Ike, * this book is dead agin all kind-er rows and mobs. Any body who gets up a row in our country, (here Ike looked hard at Billet,) catches particular fits. A man can t come here and excite folks, by using big words agin our laws that s right inter the face of the statert ; and altho he was talkin as a lawyer, and not as a Puddlefordian, yet he would say that if Mr. Billet used any more language about our forefathers, who were dead and gone, and could n t do nothin for themselves, he d smell fire and brimstone that was all ! Here was a long pause. Suddenly, in the profound still ness, Bates broke out with Hail Columbia ! and sang the first verse to its close. He then rose, with a kind of mock gravity on his face, and inquired of Squire Longbow, if he would please to inform him whether that ere tune was agin the laws. The Squire was silent. Bates said if it war n t he would offer a set of resolu tions. Bates read : TURTLE S AMENDMENT. . 185 Resolved, That every man, white, black, or indifferent, ought to have his liberty. Resolved, That every man, woman, and child, in Puddle- ford, do say, as their solemn opinion, that this ere country airi t worth living in, jest so long a there is such a thing as negro slavery ; and that we 11 either free-em, break up the Union, or clear out ourselves. Resolved, That we won t use any thing made by slave labor, if we know it, thereby making the slaveholder feel our power cause it goes right to their pockets. Mr. Bates said he had drawn up the resolutions in great haste, and they were short. Mr. Turtle hop d the President would hold easy, till he got up a substitute. Turtle sat down, and wrote off the following; and moved to insert them all after the word Resolved : That we don t like negro-slavery any better than Sile Bates, or any other Sile. Resolved, That we ve got negro-slavery, and can t help it that there ain t any body livin now-days who brought the negroes here and that if there was, we d be in favor of their buying em up, and takin em back again that we Ve got to weather it the best way we can that hollerin , sweatin , and blowin about them, way up here, don- t do any good that we can t see how the negroes are going to get free by breaking up the Union, cause that 11 just leave em where they are, and nobody up here to look arter em and as for clearing out ourselves, we could nt think of that, not no-how there ain t no place to go to. Resolved, That if Puddleford should stop using any thing made by slave-labor, the consequences can t be cal c lated. Resolved That slavery is a kind of bile on the body 186 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. politic, and there ain t no use kicking it, swearing at it, running away from it, or trying to scatter it ; but jest the best way is to take time, and cure it up. After reading his substitute, Ike again moved to insert the same after the word Resolved] in the original resolutions. Mr. Bates said he was President, and that thing could n t be did in this ere meeting. Mr. Turtle rather thought it could. Mr. Longbow said the motion had got-ter-be put, for every body had a right to vote on-to any thing they was a min-ter. Mr. Bates would like to see the meetin make him put the motion. Mr. Turtle, who sat near the desk, turned his back upon Bates and Billet; and looking over his shoulder, comically, at the former, told him * that for the present, he might go to grass, where Nebuchud-wez-zer went once, and he hop d he d have a good time on t and then holding up his substi tute to the audience, cried out, * shall these ere pass ? There was a shout of Aye ! Aye ! Aye ! Then, continued Ike, this ere meetin is adjourned. Mr. Bates sprang to his feet, and proposed a collection for Mr. Billet. Beetle too late, answered Ike, the meetin s all bust up now, and bodies that ain t organized, can t legally act ; and here, reader, ended Puddleford s last effort in behalf of Slavery. At about six o clock next morning, I saw the flaring coat- tail and carpet-bag of Billet suddenly turn a corner, about a quarter of a mile from Puddleford, on their hurried way to parts unknown. JOHN SMITH. 187 CHAPTER XVI. Some Account of John Smith Nick-iSTamcs Progress of the Age The Colonel s Opinion of Science John Smith s Dream Ike Turtle s Dream Ike takes the Boots. PIONEERS men who grow up in the woods are fa mous for luxuriant imaginations. Every thing, with them, is on a sweeping scale with the natural objects amid which they dwell. The rivers, and lakes, and plains, are great, and seem to run riot so men sometimes run riot, too, in thought, and word, and deed. They deal largely in the extravagant, and do extravagant things, in an extravagant way. I have seen a rusty pioneer, when giving his opinion upon some trite matter, garnish his language with imagery and figures, and clothe himself with an action, that Demos thenes would have copied, if he had met with such in his day. Gestures all graceful, eye all fire, language rough, but strong, and an enthusiasm that was magnetic a kind of unpremeditated natural eloquence, that many an one has sought for, but never found. John Smith was an ingenious Puddlefordian, in the way of storv-telling. He was almost equal to Ike Turtle. John was a greal, stalwart, double-breasted fellow, who cared for nothing, not even himself. A compound made tip of dare devil ferocity, benevolence and impudence. His feelings, whether of the higher or lower order, always ran to excess 188 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. He was an importation from Massachusetts, of fair educa tion, and from his recklessness of life, had drifted into Pud- dleford, like many other tempest-tossed vessels, stripped of spars and rigging. Smith s fancy and imagination were always at work. He had nick-named two thirds of Puddle- ford, and there was something characteristic in the appella tions bestowed. One small-eyed man, he "called Pink-Eye ; another, a bustling fellow, who made a very great noise, on a very small capital, was known as Bumble-bee; another, a long-shanked, loose-jointed character, was Giraffe ; Squire Longbow, he christened Old Night-Shade. Turtle was known as Sky -Rocket ; Bates as Little Coke; the Colonel as Puff Ball. Indeed, not one man in twenty was recognized by his true name, so completely had Smith invested the people with titles of his own manufacture. I recollect one of Smith s nights of imagination one among many for I can not write out all his mental pro ductions. The Puddlefordians were met, as usual, at Bulliphant s. That was the place, we have seen, where all public opinion was created. Turtle, and Longbow, and Bates, and the whole roll, even down to Jim Buzzard, were present. The progress of the age was the subject. Turtle thought there was no cac latin what things would come to steam and ingin-rubber were runnin one etarnal race, and he guess cl they d lay all opposition to the land, and bring on the millennium. Bates said the sciences were doing sun- thin , but they d never make any body better human natur was so shockin wicked, that it would require a heap mor n injin-rubber to rcjuvify em. Mr. Longbow requested Bates to repeat that ere last word agin. THE COLONEL ON SCIENCE. 189 Bates said it was rejuvify that is, drag-out, resur rect. The Squire thanked Bates for his explanation. The Colonel said there was such a thing as too much science. lie professed to have lived a scientific life that is, without work but all the while, he found some one a little more scientific, and he had never heen able to hold his own any where. He had been stranded fourteen times in his life, owing to a press of science brought against him but the most destructive science in the known world, was that for the collection of debts. It deprived men of their liberty, their comforts, their property, their friends ; and the manner in which this was all done, was barbarous. He de fied any man to produce as cool-blooded a thing as an execu tion at law, which was a branch of legal science. Squire Longbow said a fiery facius, (fieri facias) was one of the most ancientest writs, which he issued, and there war n t nothin cool-blooded or ramptious about it. Mr. Smith sat silently up to this point in the debate. Boys, said he, at last, the world is goin ahead. Talking of science, let me tell you a dream I had last night, But if the reader will permit me, I will give the substance of Smith s dream in my own language. It may detract from its point, but it will be more connected and intelligible. * I dreamed, boys, said Smith, that I was in the great Patent-Office, at Washington. I looked, and its ceiling was raised to an enormous height, while through open doors and passages, I saw room after room, groaning with thou sands of models, until it appeared as though I was in a wilderness of machinery. Very soon a pert little gentleman, with a quick black eye, and a pussy body, arrayed in the queerest costume I ever saw, came bustling up to mo, and asked me for my ticket, I involuntarily thrust my hmul into 190 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. the depth of my breeches-pocket, and pulling out a card, deliv ered it to him. After looking at the card, and then at me, and then at the card again, he burst out into a loud guffaw, that made the old Patent-Office ring. Why, Sir, said he, thin is no ticket. It is the business card of one John Smith, advertising a patent dog-churn, of which he here says he is the real inventor, and it bears date in the year 1840 two hundred years ago ! The churn may be found in room marked Inventions of Year 1840, but the man John Smith we have n t got. I do n t much think he is around above ground, just at this time, said the little man, chuckling. 4 But, said I, who are you, if I am not John Smith ? Were you not appointed by Polk, Secretary of the Interior, and did I not put a word in his ear favorable to you? Polk I a Secretary of the Interior ! exclaimed he ; I appointed by Polk ! Why, my dear Sir, I was appointed only two years ago not two hundred ! Chief of the Great Central Department, as the office is now called. While we were talking, Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, "and Fulton walked in and took seats. I knew Uncle Ben the moment I cast my eyes upon him. He was dressed in good old 76 style ; shoe-buckles, short.breeches, queue, and all; and that same jolly -round face and double chin ; that tran quil countenance just touched, without being destroyed, by comedy were all there. Adams and Jefferson I had be fore seen, and they were a little more modern in dress, but they both looked care-worn. Fulton sat apart, and eyed the other three as though he had seen them somewhere, but yet could not call them by name. The rather unexpected arrival of these gentlemen broke up the comments of my bustling interrogator, and one of those pauses occurred which frequently do, upon the appear ance of strangers. Uncle Ben asked Jefferson if he would JOHN SMITH S DREAM. 191 * not like to move up to the fire and warm his feet ? Fire ! said I, fire? Why, Uncle Ben, there is no fire-place now- a-days. Stoves and hot-*air furnaces are all the go. This building is warmed by a great furnace, and two miles of pipe that conducts the heat to every room in it. Not by a long way ! said my bustling friend * not by a long way, Mr. John Smith. This trumpery is all piled away among the inventions of the years that were. These things belong to the age of your dog-churn. Why, gentlemen, continued he, have you never heard of the Great Southern Hot- Air Company, chartered in 1960, whose business it is to furnish warm air from the South to persons at the North ; price to families three dollars a year ; all done by a gigantic under ground tunnel, and branches, worked at the other end by an air-pump ! Have you never heard of this, gentlemen ? Here we get the natural heat of the South, warmed by the sun ; none of your stinking coal and wood gases to corrupt and destroy it. And then the principle of reciprocity is kept up ; for we send back our cold air in the same way; and so we keep up an equilibrium, for the South are just as strenuous as ever to keep up the equilibrium of the Union, Why, gentlemen,, those stoves required constant care. As often as every week it was necessary to replenish them with wood or coal. No ! no ! those improvements belonged to the dark ages. Bless me ! exclaimed Uncle Ben. Impossible ! repeat ed Fulton. * And so you do n t use the old Franklin stove any more ? said Uncle Ben. Perhaps, he continued, a quiet smile playing over his face, as if he intended a comical shot, perhaps you do n t use- lightning now-a-days either, and my lightning-rods of course belong to the dark ages too! 4 We have the lightning, and use it too, but only one rod, built by the State, near its centre, which is so colossal and 192 PUDDLEFORD AXl) ITS PEOPLE. powerful that it protects every thing around it. An 1 then the little fellow rattled on about the use of lightning ; how it wrote all over the world the English language, until I verily believe that Uncle Ben, Fulton, and all set him down as the most unscrupulous liar that they had ever met with. * I think, said Uncle Ben, that I could convince myself of the truth of your assertions, if I could go to Boston ; but as my time is very limited, I can not. Send you there in five minutes by the watch ! answered the little man ; or if that s too soon, in twenty-four hours. It requires powerful lungs to go by balloon time five min utes departure every half hour. The magnetic railway train will take you through in four hours, or on the old fashioned railroad in twenty -four. What ! said Uncle Ben, is the old stage company entirely broken up ? Do n t know what you mean by stages. said the little man, but I will look for the word in the big dictionary. Go by steam boat, said Fulton. * Steam-boat ! repeated the little man steam-boat ! too everlasting slow not over twenty-five miles an hour well enough for freight, but passengers can not endure them ; they go laboring and splashing along at a snail s pace, and they are enough to wear out any man s patience. Yet the steam-boat was the greatest stride ever made at any one time in the way of locomotion, and was very creditable to Fulton, and the age in which he lived. * That is admitting something, burst out Fulton, who had sat like a statue, watching the little man s volubility. But, said Uncle Ben, all this talk do n t get me on my way to Boston. That is my birth-place. I was there for the last time in 1-763, and you know that according to the provi sions of my will, there is more than four millions pounds sterling of my money, which has by this time been disposed of by the State some how. Uncle Ben was always a shrewd fellow in the way of dollars and cents, and I could see he JOHN SMITH S DREAM. 193 was very anxious abcut that money. Olio ! oho ! said the little man ; so you are Ben Franklin, and you are the old gentleman who left that legacy. We ve got a portrait of you up stairs, more than two hundred years old, and it docs look like you. Glad to see you ! You said something in your life-time about immersing yourself in a cask of Madeira wine with a few friends, and coming to the world in a hun dred years again. These are your friends, I suppose ? * These gentlemen, replied Uncle Ben, * are John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, signers of the Declaration of Independ ence. * The other gentleman, continued I, t is Robert Ful ton, whom you have spoken of. * Well, I declare ! ejacu lated the little man, this is a meeting ! But about that legacy, Uncle Ben, of yours ; two millions sterling of it has gone to build the Gutta Percha Magnetic Telegraph line, connecting Boston with London and Paris, two of the largest cities in the Eastern Republic of Europe. * Gutta perch a ! magnetic telegraph ! Republic of Europe ! repeated all of them. All built under water, and sustained by buoys, continued the little man, * and it works to a charm plan up stairs in room 204 and can be seen in a moment ; and as I told you before, it writes the English language as fast as my deputy. Republic of Europe ! exclaimed Jefferson, again. Yes, Sir, said the little man, * for more than a cen tury. No more thrones ; no more rulers by divine right ; no more governments sustained by powder and ball ; no lords nor nobles ; man is man, not merely one of a class of men, but individually man, with rights as perfect and powers as great as any other man. The principles, Jefferson, of your Declaration, which you did not create, but only asserted, have prostrated every arbitrary government on the globe. Even the Jews, since their return to Jerusalem, have organ ized a republican form of government, and have just elected 9- 194 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Mr. Noah President. Well, thinks I to myself, that can t be Mordccai M. Noah, any how, for polities must have used up his constitution before this. Bat the iittle man chat tered away, and declared that Europe was divided into two republics, the Eastern and Western ; that Constantinople was the capital of the Western ; that Africa and Asia were also republican ; until the three signers of the Declaration, perfectly wrought up to a frenzy of joy, rose up from their seats, took off their hats, and swinging them round, gave 4 Three cheers for 70, and the old Army of the Revolution V and I verily. believe Uncle Ben forgot all about that money, and about going to Boston, for he did not allude to it any more in my presence. Great changes these ! r continued the little man, from your days. But you must not think, gentlemen, that we have forgotten you or your services, while we have improved in wisdom and strength. Look here, gentlemen, and he motioned us away, and leading on, he conducted us to an observatory on the top of the building. Such a prospect I never before beheld. Away, around, on every side, stretched a mighty city, whose limits the eye could not reach. Tow ers, temples, spires, and masts succeeded towers, temples, spires, and masts, until they were lost in the distant haze. Canals, traversed every street, and boats of merchandise were loading and unloading their freights. Steam-carriages were puffing along the roads that ran by the canal, some filled with pleasure parties, and some laden with goods. Turning my eye to an elevation, I saw fifty-six gigantic monuments, whose peaks were nearly lost in the sky, ranged in a line, all alike in form and sculpture. These, said the little man, were erected to the Signers of the Declaration of Independ ence ; and, taking out his telescope, he handed it to Uncle Ben, who read aloud among the inscriptions the names, JOHN SMITH S DREAM. 195 X. FRANKLIN, JEFFERSON, ADAMS ! But let us know what this city is called ? inquired Jefferson. * This, Sir, is called Columbiana ; it lies on the west bank of the Mississippi ; population five millions, according to the last census. But what supports it ? Supports it ! The great East India trade. That vessel down there is direct from Canton, by ship-canal across the Isthmus. All Europe is secondary to us now. No doubling capes, as was done in your day. Yonder stands the Capitol ; and the whole North American continent is annually represented there. The city of San Francisco alone sends forty-four members. There, continued he, pointing his finger, that balloon rising slowly in the sky has just started for that place, and the passengers will take their dinner there to-morrow. Jefferson asked the little man whether the Federalists or Democrats were in power? and I saw that Adams waked up when he heard the question. Don t know any such division, replied he. The great measure of the day, upon which parties are divided, is the purchase of the South Ame rican continent at five hundred millions of dollars. I go for it; and before another year the bargain will be consum mated. We must have more territory we have n t got half enough. Extent of territory gives a nation dignity and importance. The old thirteen States of your day, gentlemen, were a mere cabbage-patch, and should have been consolidated into one State. Ten or twenty days sail ran you plump into a hostile port, and then you had a demand for duty. Beside, conflicting interests always brew up difficulties, and then come treaties, and finally war, and then debt, and at last op pressive taxation. A nation should own all the territory that joins it. The ocean is the only natural boundary for a people. Thinks I, You have been a politician in your day, and I ll just engage you to correspond with a certain New- 196 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. .x York editor, who shall be nameless ; you strike off the doc trine boldly ! Uncle Ben told the little man, after he closed, that a nation might * get so very ripe as to become a little rotten ; and if he had no objection be would present him with the Sayings of Poor Richard. And suiting the action to the word, he pushed his hand into his breeches pocket, and pulled out an old almanac, printed at Philadelphia, in 1732, and bowing, handed it to him. The little man thanked him, and pro mised to deposit it in the Museum, as a curious piece of anti quity. * Getting somewhat anxious for a smoke, I drew forth a cigar and * loco-foco, rubbed the latter across my boot, which flashed out its light full in Uncle Ben s face. * That is nice, exclaimed he;/ rather an improvement on the old string, wheel and tinder plan. * Simple, too, is n t it V said I ; and yet all the science of your day did n t detect it. Just then T gave a puff, which made Uncle Ben sneeze ; and he broke out into a tirade against tobacco that would read well. But I told him there was no use ; men had smoked and chewed the weed would smoke and chew it, economy or no economy, health or no health, filth or no filth ; and that in all probability the last remnant of the great American Republic, for succeeding nations to gaze at, would be a plug of tobacco ; for I sincerely believed that tobacco would out live the government itself. The little man proposed returning into the Patent-Office, and exhibiting to us in detail the models of art there depo sited. But I can not weary you with what I there saw. The fruits of every year, since the organization of the department, were divided into rooms, and indicated on the door by an inscription. There were thousands of improvements in every branch of science, many of which were so simple, that I JOHN SMITH S DREAM. 197 thought myself a fool that I did not discover them long ago. Principles were applied, the very operation of which I now recollected to have often seen, yet without a thought of their practical utility. I came to the conclusion that accident was the parent of more that I saw than design ; for how, rea soned I, is it possible that these pieces of machinery could otherwise have escaped the great men who have lived and died in ignorance of them ? By this time we were quite fatigued, and Uncle Ben com plained a little of the * stone, which he said he was subject to. The little man gave him some * Elixir of Life, as he called it, being, as he said, * an extract of the nutritious por tion of meats and vegetables, purged from their grossness as found in their- natural state ; and while we were sipping it, he launched forth upon its great benefit to mankind ; the money saved that used to be expended in cookery and trans portation millions upon millions; the great economy in time, formerly squandered in eating, etc., etc. ; and he wound up his eulogy by presenting eacli of us with a bottle, which I carefully put away in my pocket. 1 Adams then rose up, and said he must leave, and Jeffer son, Uncle Ben, and Fulton followed. And in a moment Uncle Ben, Fulton, Adams, Jefferson, the little man, the apartments, wheels, and machinery, began to rock, and heave and fade, and finally dissolve ; and suddenly I awoke ! , 1 Youdid awake ! exclaimed the Colonel, drawing a breath all the way from his boots ; I should have thought you would. Bates gave a yawn, and throwing his quid into the fire, called for a glass of whiskey and water, saying he would * try to choke down the story with that. Longbow sat perfectly magnetized his arms folded across his breast, his chin dropped, his legs resting on his 198 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. boot-lieels, and pushed out in front of him, as though he was driving a hard-bitted horse, and his one eye stared va cantly at the coals in the huge fire-place. He gave an un conscious grunt, when Smith concluded, but made no com mentary. Turtle said * the dream was very remarkable for such a man as Smith ; but he guessed he had it, and he was going to believe it, because it was upon the word of a Puddlefor- dian. But he d had one that beat it all holler s prism* dream like them are visions that some body unriddled f or he could n t recollect the name of the man now no matter, the dream s the same. 7 I got up one morning, said Ike, and went clown to my breakfast-table, but there war n t one of my family present. I saw seated around it, however, a strange company of folks, and dressed as no mortals ever were before, since the flood, I reckon. There war n t nothin that ever I seed before on any on em. I took my place at the head of the board, and attempted to do the carvin ; but there war n t no body that understood my meanin . Pork war n t pork any more ; and when I tried to pass pork, I found that it had a kind-er fancy name, which I have now forgot. * One great, goggle-eyed fellow, who sat at my right hand, informed a lady near him that he d got-ter go over to Agoria before dinner, and get his sun-dial fixed ; but his wings were down at the shop being fixed, and he could n t start this hour yet. * Agoria ! Where s that ? asked I. * Do n t know where Agoria is ha ! ha ! On the river Amazon, a trip of a couple of thousand of miles. And so he took out a little eye-glass, and looked at me for a long time, and putting it back in his pocket, said he thought I was a North Pole-ander, or a ghost ; he did n t know which. IKE TURTLE S DREAM. 199 * Dear me ! you will be keerful, now won t you, said the lady. Two hundred collisions in the air last night, among the winged men ; almost as many the night afore awful ! 1 The goggle-eyed man said he would. * Did you hear President Jones lecter last night, said a spectacled critter, at the upper end of the table, sticking his fore-finger out at me. No sir-ee / I hollered back to him, as I was some little frustrated by this time. 1 He showed, said the man, that one Tom Jefferson prob bly did write the Declaration of Independence that the ancients made. * You do n t say so, though, do you ? said I. * You re a bright set of chaps the whole on you, President Jones and all. There was a mighty deal said about the Persian war with America ; what some body said who came from Africa last night what this man and that man done in Congress ; but getting out of patience at last, I jumped up, and left the whole on em ; and as I passed out of the room, told em i they might all go to grass. * As I left the house, I saw an almanac hanging on the wall for the year 2564. The first thought, when I saw this, was, Where, in the name of Andrew Jackson, is Puddleford now ? 1 4 But what was my surprise, when I got inter the street, which was all laid with slabs of granite, and lined with pa laces, to find Squire Longbow, walking along with his wings folded on his back, looking as nat ral as the old fogy himself. Squire, said I, here s to you. The Squire said he had n t the honor of my quain- tance. 4 Oh ! you old scoundrel, said I, you can t come that 200 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. * That s false ! exclaimed Longbow, I did n t have no such talk. It was only a dream you forget, 1 answered Ike. * Exactly, replied the Squire, relapsing into his former mood. * You can t come that, old man, I repeated ; I could tell you in the streets of Jerusalem, in the night ; what are you about, old feller ? You look fat and pussy. The Squire said he was Judge of the Continental Su preme Court ! * * So I should think, said I ; I just left a dozen asses at my breakfast- table, and you re just the man for all the world to be their judge. That s a contempt 1 exclaimed the Squire, jumping from his chair. Nothin but a dream, and they allers go by contraries, answered Ike. So they do, said the Squire calmly, sitting down again, Where s Bates, and the Colonel, and Bulliphant, and the other Puddlefordians ? inquired I. Bates, said the Squire, * burst a blood-vessel several hundred years ago, running down a Southern kidnapper, and died quick-er a flash. He did n t leave nothing scasely for his family, cause he spent all his time on public affairs. The Colonel left the country with the sheriff at his heels ; and he rather thought he was somewhere about the streets now, as he saw a feller t other day fore the Court, for debt,. that looked jest like him. Bulliphant went off in spontaneous combustion in a kind of blue fire, and the old woman fretted herself out, a couple of years arter ; but, said the Squire, I can t be detained. Story s waitin for me on the bench, and we decide the title to a million of acres of land, at ten this morning. IKE TAKES THE BOOTS. 201 This woke me. Story, and the decision by Longbow, knocked my dream out-er sight. Bates pulled off his boots, and handing them to Ike, in formed him that they were his, by the custom of Puddlefor- dians, and the meeting adjourned. 9* 202 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CII AFTER XVII. Ike Turtle in his Office The Author Consults him on Point of Law Taxes of Non-Residents Law in Puddleford Mr. Bridget s Case Legal Discussion The Case Settled. WE very often get an idea of a community, by fathoming its leading men. We stick our stakes at that point, and rea son, by comparison, downward ; not that prominent indivi duals make the community, any more than the community makes them ; but both act, and react upon each other, until a standard is formed and that standard is just high enough for the occasion the necessities of the present. Water never rises above its level. You have, respected reader, already seen much perhaps too much of Ike Turtle. You must recollect, however, as I have before declared, that he was an embodiment of the spirit of his time. He was the presiding genius of Puddle- ford, and had been as much moulded by it, as he had moulded Puddleford. Turtle, as we have seen, was a host in law that is, he was a host in Puddleford law. He was just as useful and mighty in his sphere as Webster ever was in his. It must in candor be admitted that there was a difference in spheres ; but that in no way affects the principle and principle is what we are contending for. I have thus far exhibited to you Turtle under excitement, as an advocate in the case of Filkins vs. Beadle, defending his country against what he called an abolition lecter, strug gling in the cause of education ; but we can not always IKE TURTLE IN HIS OFFICE. 203 probe a great man to the bottom, and disinter the latent jewels of mind, unless we know and observe him unruffled by passion, and unswayed by feeling. The line and lead must be cast into still waters to sound the depths of ocean. I had occasion to consult Turtle on a point of law. The question was, whether a certain woman who claimed dower in my land could probably show a state of facts that would legally entitle her to recover. Mr. Turtle s office was in one of the upper rooms of a tumble-down tailor s shop in the village. Outside, his sign swung to and fro : I. Turtle, Turney in all the Courts. Inside, it was garnished with three chairs without backs, a pine-table, whittled into pieces by the loungers, a number of loose papers lying in an old flour-barrel, an ink-bottle with a yellow string around its nose, a copy of the Statutes, a stub of a pen, Volume Two of Blackstone, and no law-book be side, all of which were enveloped in dirt and cobwebs. Mr. Turtle himself, when I entered, sat in one chair, his two feet stretched wide apart, each in another, like the two extremi ties of a letter A; and Ike himself was very philosophically smoking a pipe, and blowing the whiffs out of the window. Is this Mr. Turtle s office ? inquired I. I should rayther think it was, answered Ike, drawing out his pipe, and pointing to a chair. I have a little business, said I. Most people do have, said he. I m chuck full on t my self. * Suppose, said I, * a man dies, and leaves a widow, and that widow should claim Hold on, right there! exclaimed Ike, laying down his pipe, Hold on, old f el-low ; this s posin do n t do in this ere \ 5Ice. I never gives opinions on fancy cases. Time s fittlc oo precious. I want the raal facts on the matter, jest 204 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. as they happened ; and beside, Mr. , fust thing I know I shall give an opinion right butt agin one of my own clients (I have reg lar clients, you see, that I ve got-ter stand up for, if it busts me) and this wheeling round and taking a back-track sp iles one s reputation, and tears his conscience, awful to behold ! Well, I continued, as I was going to say No sir-ee ! you ain t going to say. Who died 1 who s the widow ? Them are the starting p ints in a new coun try. But, continued I, * that will not affect the principle. Won t it though ? answered Ike. What are principles to folks in a new country ? What are residents to non-resi dents ? Why, you take a resident widow, a little good-look ing, and she can hold all the land she claims agin a non-resi dent. Juries have feelings, and are human like other peo ple. Oh! I see, said L * Jest so, said he. Well, then, I continued, * the widow is a resident of Pud- dleford, and so am I ; and the widow claims a life-interest in one third of my land. Ike pondered, and rubbed his head, and looked for a long time steadily at the toes of his boots. At last a thought struck him. 4 Has she any children ? inquired he. She has. Young? Twelve and fourteen. Bad age for you, said Ike ; worse than two positive witnesses swearing straight inter yer favor. 1 But what have children to do with a principle of law ? I exclaimed, somewhat animated. TAXES AND LAW IN PUDDLEFORD. 205 * You re green, exclaimed Ike ; you 11 sprout if you get catched in a shower. What has law got-ter do with a wid- der and two children out here ? Do n t you know the widder and the two children will be put right straight to the jury, and that they 11 swamp you and your case, and all the la you can bring agin em. * Very likely, said I ; but is Puddleford law all made for widows, babies, and residents ? inquired I. * You see, continued Ike, you hain t lived long here. A new country is a kind of selfrsustainin machine. We ve all got-ter go in for ourselves. When folks take the brunt of settling wild land, some body s got-ter and ought-ter suffer. Non-residents have-ter pay tall taxes. They have to pay onto the value, and onto our taking care of their lands. We can t afford to scare off the animals and bring their pro perty into market for nothin . Why, old Sykes, who lives away down to the east ard, pays half the taxes of Puddleford, and don t own more than four sections of land. The sessors kind-er look at the spirit of the law, when they lay taxes, and the spirit of our tax-law stretches cording to circum stances. India-rubber ain t nothin .to it. Jest so in la mat ters. The la is favorable to Puddlefordians ; our courts lean that way it s kind-er second nater to em a kind-er law of self-preservation primary law of natur , you know a duty ; and therefore I was particular to know who the person was who claimed your land. 4 Mine s a case, said I, after Ike concluded his digression, of Puddleford against Puddleford. 1 Puddleford against itself, both residents a woman and two children against a man ? * That s the case, said I. 1 Well ! said Ike. 1 The widow claims a life-interest, and yet she signed the deed with her husband. 206 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Did sign it ? inquired Ike again. What is she growlin about, then ? She claims she was deranged. * And did n t know nothin , ha ? And she says she can prove it. That is, Sile Bates can for her, I s pose. Squire Longbow dropped in at this point of the conversa tion. Ike arose, walked several times swiftly across the floor, turning each time with a jerk, and finally wheeling up in front of me, said his fee for opinions was one dollar. The fee was paid. Now, exclaimed Ike, pushing his fee in his vest-pocket, who s the woman ? Old Mrs. Bridget, said I. 4 There are just half a dozen defenses, exclaimed Ike ; and each one will blow the case sky-high. No body can t set up insanity in a new country, because there aint nothin here to make anybody insane; and if there was, our judges and juries think a leetle too much of themselves, thick as the bushes are, to low a Puddlefordian to prove herself a fool in open court. There is a pride that won t permit it. Yes, Sir T (Here Ike slapped the table hard by way of empha sis.) Aint that la , Squire Longbow ? continued Ike, turn ing round to the Squire, who was almost magnetized by in tense thought. The Squire gave two or three ahems to clear his throat, and his voice seemed a long time on its way. That, said the Squire, is just what the mortal Story said: he never would permit a man to make a fool of himself; he went agin all such kind-er things. The mortal Story said, if a man do n t know nothing, he oughten-ter say nothing, nor do nothing. He very specially said it war n t a safe rule to let crazy folks rip up things, cause how do we know, or any LEGAL DISCUSSION. 207 body know, but they are jist as crazy when they rip em up, and then they ll have to be ripped tip over agin ; that s the thority, sir page let me see but no matter bout pages - And secondly, continued Ike, breaking into the Squire, it s a rule of law that every body s stopped by their deed ; and if the woman knowed enough to sign and seal it, that ere seal is an everlasting and eternal bar to provin any thing agin it. That 11 stop a crazy woman ; that s laid down in all the books since King Richard got possession of England, and the staterts are full on it, too. The Squire said that looked reasonable. How do we know that Andrew Jackson war n t crazy when he signed off the patents for Puddleford. That s an open question yet. And if it war n t for the broad seal if it war n t for that ere spread eagle some whig President (and the whigs allers did say Old Hickory was crazy) would set it all aside, and throw all the land-titles into hotch-potch, kick me out-er house and home, and ruin all Puddleford ! Certainly, said I. * And agin, said Ike, * the woman war n t crazy ; / can prove that. That wilUo, said I*. How? When was the deed executed ? I stated. That s jest the time, said Ike, that old covy, her brother- in-law, used her as a witness to recover his farm. The Squire said that the woman was under oath then, and she might tell the truth, if she was a little shattered/ /Th-u-n-der ! exclaimed Ike. Witnesses are sworn to tell the truth, said the Squire. The Squire was evidently getting quizzical. Mr. Turtle begged he would not interrupt him agin. The case was 208 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. one of great importance, and it required a power of thought and research to look in-ter it. And now, continued Ike, there are three more p ints of la in your case. You ve got the fee of this ere land that is, you ve got a deed, and got in-ter possession ; that makes a fee. And as to that, the deed do n t matter so much ; pos session out here is jest as good. I never see a Sheriff who could get a man off. T aint pop lar won t pay it costs votes men don t vote for officers who push cm ; posses sion is morc n nine p ints of the la in Puddleford ; it s ninety- nine it s most as good as a patent. But that would be a resistance of process, if the widow succeeded, said I. 4 There wo n t be nothing to resist, answered Ike. You VZ never feel the process ; it will always be defective there 11 be a flaw in it some where. Settlers on the sile must be protected. That, chimed in the Squire, is la . That was settled in the constitution. There was blood shed for that. But there aint no use, continued Ike, in going into par ticulars, and putting down every p int of la . I can scatter a thousand such cases to the four winds have done it can do it agin. Give me Kent and the staterts, and I 11 cut my way to daylight in no time. If there is any one who believes that such an opinion was not given for one dollar, or that hundreds have not been given in the very far west just as absurd, let them inquire farther of those persons who have experienced a frontier life. Yet, Mr. Turtle lives and flourishes, gains reputation, and will die as much respected and lamented as any one. THE PRAIRIES IN THE BREEZE. 209 CHAPTER XVIII. The Wilderness around Puddleford The Rivers and the Forests Suggestions of Old Times Foot-prints of the Jesuits Vine-cov ered Mounds Visit to the Forest The Early Frost The Forest Clock The Woodland Harvest The Last Flowers Nature Sowing her Seed The Squirrel in the Hickory Pigeons, Their Ways and their Haunts The Butterflies and the Bull-frog Na ture and her Sermons Her Temple still Open, but the High-priest Gone. PUDDLEFORD was a mere spot in the wilderness. Its re gion abounded with patches of improved land, and patches partly improved, and fields of stumps that the pioneer had just passed over with his axe. The great sweep of land around it, however, was a wilderness not a thicket not a dense mass of timber, nor a swamp but a rolling plain of upland, prairie, and heavily-wooded flats along the rivers; and it extended no one knew where, and was covered with lakes and rivers that shone, and roared, and babbled, day and night, through the great solitude. The surface of the upland was as smooth and shaven as an English park. No undergrowth obstructed the eye, and the outline of a deer might be discerned two miles distant. Trees upon the dis tant ground-swells, amid their quivering shadows, appeared to be riding upon waves. In this gigantic park, which over reached degrees of longitude, flowers of every form and hue budded, blossomed, faded, and died, from May until Novem ber. The prairies were so many blooming seas, and when the soft south-west stirred up their depths, they shed a gor- geouD light, as if they were breathing out rainbow colors. 210 rUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. The rivers that watered this waste were large, and flowed from still deeper solitudes toward the great lakes. The sun, as ancient as they, rose and set upon them now as it did centuries ago. The forests upon their banks sprang up, flourished, waxed old, and died ; and still the river ran, and new forests rose upon the ruins of the old, and the glory of the new stood implanted in the grave of the old. The bison, moose, and bear drank from the sources of these rivers, driven upward by the noise of civilization. But they had an interest to me beyond all this : they were the inlets of Christian missionaries more than a century ago. It was up these streams that the French Jesuit,* with his eye aloft, and the cross erect, paddled his solitary canoe among the abori gines. Here he built his camp-fire beneath the stars, and told his rosary in the awful presence of his God how aw ful, indeed, in such a spot, at such u time ! We can almost see the venerable man, and hear the dip of his oar; the water-fowl scream, scared, and dive along before him, and the Indian stands upon the bank in his presence, like a mon ument in wonder. The foot-prints of the Jesuits are still found upon the blufts of these rivers. Mounds, which were thrown by them into square and circular forms, now roofless and silent, and matted all over with vines, still bear witness to their devo tion. Yet, how little is thought of them now ! Because the Jesuits did not till the earth, and sow, and reap, and swell the commerce of the world : but did n t they sow ? They sowed the seeds of everlasting life among the simple children of the forest ; and they have sown from age to age since, and many an Indian still offers the prayer which was taught his forefathers so long ago. Such, reader, were the woods around Puddleford, and such * Father Hennepin and others. A LATE SEPTEMBER SCENE. 211 the associations. I was in the habit of going down into their depths, and scraping acquaintance with the inhabitants. It was a relief to me. I sometimes even went so far as to set myself up as a sportsman. I made a special visit, just after the first frost, for the purpose of spying out the game. The morning was still and bright, and the dash of a distant rivu- . let, which I could step across, filled the long drawn aisles with its echoes. I had been down often during the summer, but every object looked strangely different now. The first frost had given nature a shock a kind of palsy; she looked serene, almost sad. Its inmates had gadded about during the summer in a very reckless way ; they looked more sober after the first frost more thoughtful more anxious about something. It was late in September, and yet * the storms of the wild Equinox, with all its wet, had not come. It was due, and over-due. Amid the more hardy foliage, the first frost had drawn his brush in the most delicate way possible a mere tinge, and no more a kind of autumnal hint. There was one limb of an oak just changing, and the balance of the tree stood up as bravely and defiant as ever ; the soft maple was completely dipped it blazed ; the aspen trembled and glowed ; the hickory was only touched, and still hesitated about her full suit of yellow ; while the dog-wood and spice- bush had entirely given up the ghost. It was just after the first frost, so I went down to the banks of the rivulet that had so long been singing its wood land psalm. It came from away off somewhere, and strayed, and dove over precipices, and spread into miniature lakes ; but, where I stood, it tumbled through a gorge with green, sloping banks. As I gazed, the sun waxed higher and warm er. Day wore its way up the gorge, and literally struck a 212 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. sisterhood of frosted sumacs, and they turned blood -red : I thought I saw them shift their summer dress. Near by, a vine circled a tree, and swung out from its top. I had noticed it many times before during the season. It was then hung with large-mouthed flowers, which opened with the morning. Was it a summer-chime of bells, that tolled the sunlight into the temple ? the forest-clock, that opened and shut the hours ? The bells were broken now ; the first frost had cracked them. I saw a bird, dressed in blue, run up the vine, and hitch along in a very deliberate way, and peer into this bell and into that, as if he wondered why they did not spread ; but this might have been an odd fancy of mine. The first frost seemed to have passed through the tree-tops that rolled over the gorge in a hurry. The prominent points of the foliage were tufted with russet, but its hollows and dells were as green as ever. The woodland harvest was nigh the Creator s own har vest, sown and reaped without the aid of man. The paw paw began to shed its fruit ; mandrakes stood up all over the forest, like umbrellas loaded with apples of gold ; the wild cucumber was bending under its own weight ; the bark of the hickory and beech-nut was broken, and the fruit peeped out; acorns were loosening in their cups; the grape was purple and fragrant, and ready to gush with richness ; and away down below me I noticed a crabbed, sour-looking plum- tree, holding on to the hill-side with all its energy, and cov ered with its rosy-cheeked children. A few flowers yet lingered on the upland, breathing their last. The pink, violet, lupin, and a thousand nameless ones, had shed and buried their seeds long before ; but the flaming, cardinal-fringed gentian, the yellow moccasin, and troops of THE SQUIRREL AND HIS CONVERSATION. 213 lilies, still crowded the swales and water-courses, braving out the first frost. Insects were singing a melancholy dirge around me ; a bee droned past in great haste, with a conse quential hum ; the year was passing and dying, like a vibra tion over the earth. The air was filled with winged seeds, sailing away off here, and away off there, and going 1 do not know where. The wild cotton burst its pod, and furred out at a great rate; a large company of thistle-balloons rolled up lazily into the sky, and went out of sight, (to the stars, probably,) directed by some invisible hand to the place of their destination. Birds were picking and carrying clusters of grapes and s coke far and wide. How beautifully nature sows her solemn wastes ! The winds and the birds are her husbandmen, and the work goes on with a song. There was a bustle in a hickory a black-squirrel was flirting about, and making an examination of the crop. He had come early into the harvest-field. He ran up and down the branches, nipped the nuts, jumped upon his haunches, thought awhile, chattered to himself, and said or I thought he said * Little too soon * Little too soon * Come again * Come again. At a distance, a male-par tridge, with his tail curved like a fan, and his feathers erect, was blustering and strutting around with great pomp, as con sequential as a Broadway fop a rabbit, crouched in a heap, sat off timidly under an upturned root, eating a paw-paw a lonely snipe came tetering up the rivulet a robin lit upon a scoke-bush, picked a berry or two, whistled, took a kind of last look, and departed ; a little bird, as rich as sunset, next startled me with a stream of fire, which he wove through the green foliage, as if he were tying it up with a blazing cord; a sanctimonious crow floated in circles in the air, and screamed very savagely to things below him, like a 214 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. preacher in a passion, and I heard turkeys clucking and calling to each other in every direction. Suddenly, a flock of pigeons broke the few bars of light that were struggling down, and wheeled to a dry limb, at a respectful distance ; they ranged themselves in rows like pla toons of soldiers, and bowed forwards and sideways, in a very polite, diplomatic way. A few words passed between them (pigeons do n t talk much) exchanging, no doubt, opinions of me and my whereabouts. By and by, one spread his wings and fluttered to the ground, and began feeding then another, and another, until the whole flock descended, except three sentinels, who remained posted, to watch and guard. I knew them well. There was a roost O in a tamarack swamp, some miles distant. Not long before, I had visited their noisy metropolis. It was at the close of day, and its evergreen canopy was half-dipped in light. I recollected what hosts came thronging in, on all sides, roaring like a tempest, and how they piled themselves upon the top of each other upon the boughs like swarming-bees and how all night the trees bent and cracked with the crowded population, who seemed continually treading upon each other s toes, and tumbling each other s beds and how, when the day dawned, they all dissolved, and winged their way to the plains, and the troubled city was as silent as fallen Babylon. I like the pigeon. He has a business-way, and a way of minding his own business. He is always doing something. Who ever saw a pigeon trifle or frolic, or put on airs ? He is the clipper of the skies air-line. Eight hundred miles a day, few stoppages, and no bursting of boilers. He is a practical bird no such dreamy, twilight sort of a thing as the whip-poor-will, who is forever complaining about nothing like a miserable rhymester whir whir whir. * Ah ! THE WHITE BUTTERFLIES. 215 you are going. Pay iny respects to the alligators among the rice-swamps of Florida, said I, when you see them, next winter. The pigeons were started by the bay of hounds. By their voice, the hounds had probably been on the chase during most of the night (it was a weary voice and al most painful) and I soon discovered that they were ap proaching. Soon a drove of deer, led forward by a noble buck, carrying antlers like tree-branches, came crashing by, leaped the ravine, and were soon followed by their pursuers, and I watched them afar over the plain, until they were lost. I knew the dogs. They belonged to venison Styles. But where was Venison ? I could see the old hunter, in my imagination, standing away off on some " run-way," listening to the strife around him, and watching for his victims. Perhaps you know, and perhaps you do n t know, reader, that deer, at certain seasons of the year, have run-ways that they have great Always thoroughfares that follow mountains, thread morasses, cross lakes and streams, up and down which they travel. I cannot say who first laid them out. It may be they can tell. If I ever find out, I will let you know. I was next overhauled by a fleet of white butterflies, who came winding down the . brook, in a very loitering sort of a way. They anchored in front of me, near the water s edge, and amused themselves by opening and shutting their huge sails i m ge for butterflies. Their wings were all bedropped with gold, and powdered with silver-dust. Then another fleet, arrayed in chocolate-velvet, came up the stream. They were large and showy. Their chocolate-wings were ribbed with lines of blue and green ; and a few plain, yellow ple beians followed on after, train-bearers, probably, to their lordly superiors. What brush touched those rich and deli- 216 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. cate wings f What alchemist wrought those magical colors 1 Who put on those gorgeous uniforms ? Were they equip ped for the beauty and glory of the world, or their own 1 For what purpose was this winged mystery sent upon the earth ? Just here a large frog, who had been sitting on a stone near the water, wrapped up to his eyes in his green surtout, looking as taciturn and gloomy as the Pope, went down with a jug-a-ro, and spoiled my reflections. It was just after the first frost, and the wasps were hard at work, preparing, or repairing their mansions for winter. The mason-wasp, as he is called, was digging up the mud, which he carried to a hollow log, where he lived. He was plastering up a little. The paper-wasp was gathering wild cotton and flax, and manufacturing it, for his palaco that hung, half-furnished, swinging in a tree* like a top. Strange that man should have so long remained without the secret of making paper when the wasp had made and hung it up high before his eyes, for so many thousand years. Thus, reader, the great wilderness was alive and away down the chain of animated being, beyond the reach of the eye or ear, there was life busy life all links in a great chain held and electrified by the hand of the Almighty. What sermons there were all around me nature preach ing through her works ! What cathedral like this, with its living pillars its dome of sun, and moon, and stars ? Morn swings back its portals with light and song, and even ing gently closes them again amid her deepening shadows and the worship and work goes on like the swell of an an them ; but the great high-priest that worshipped at its altars, and burnt incense to the spirit that pervades this soli tude, where is he ? Where are his fires now ? The temple still stands, and the anthem is still heard, but the worship pers are gone. * Lo ! the poor Indian. A NEW-ENGLAND VILLAGE. 217 CHAPTER XIX. The Old New-England Home The Sheltered Village The Ancient Buildings Dormer-Windows An Old Puritanical Home The Old Puritan Church The Burying-Ground Deacon Smith, his Habits and his Helpers Major Simeon Giles, his Mansion and his Ancestry Old Doctor Styles Crapo Jackson, the Sexton 4 Training Days Militia Dignitaries Major Boles Major- General Peabody Preparations and Achievements Demolition of an Apple-Cart Shoulder Arms ! Colonel Asher Peabody The Boys, and their World My Last Look at my Native Village. READER, there are mental pictures in the wilderness, as vivid as any in nature. They are the pictures of the past. They haunt the pioneer by day and by night. They go with him over the fields sit down with him by the streams linger around his evening hearth, and rise up in his dreams. I was born in New-England. The village was very old, and had received and discharged generations of men. Some two centuries ago, a troop of iron-sided old pilgrims, full of theology and man s rights, an off-shoot of a larger body, with their pastor at their head, founded the place, and gave it tone and direction. This village is very beautiful now. It stands sheltered between two mountains that cast their morning and evening shadows over it. A long stretch of meadow-land lies be tween, through which a river, fringed with willows, lazily lingers and twists in elbows and half-circles. The mountains sometimes look down very grim at the valley, and in places have advanced almost across it. There are a great many profiles detected by the imagination in their outline. Cotton 10 218 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Mather s face lias been discovered in one huge rock ancl the old fellow s head seems to withstand the storms of nature about as successfully as it did the storms of life. The Devil s Pulpit a group of splintered shafts of Gothic appearance is near by, and superstitious persons used to think that during every thunder- storm, his majesty entered it, arrayed in garments of fire, and gave the Puritan a sound lecture. There are all kinds of btrildiargs in this village. These buildings mark the age in which they were erected, and are the real monuments of their founders. They are as they were. They have have not been marred or profaned by modern notions. Some are very eccentric piles, hoary with age, full of angles and sharp corners, and some are painfully plain and severe. They all have a face, a cast of counte nance, an expression they almost talk the English of a hundred and fifty years ago. The row of dormer windows on the roof, are to me great eyes that frown down iipon the frivolity and thoughtlessness of the present and those eyes* are full of theology and civil rights. They look as though they were watching a Quaker, or reading the stamp-act. The very souls of their architects are transferred to them. I never enter one, even in these fearless times, without feeling nervous and sober, half-expecting to run a-fbul of its original proprietor, with some interrogatory about my business, and the wickedness of his descendants. There u-sed to stand there is still standing one of these queer piles upon a bluff overlooking the river. It was built of stone, and is very much moss-grown. It fairly looks daggers at the ambitious little structures that have sprouted up by its side. It is a heap of Pm-.tanieal thoughts visible thoughts all hardened into wood and rock. Thfere it has stood, frowning and frowning for a century and a half. It OLD PICTURES. 219 is full of great, massive timbers and stones, and is as stout as the heart of its founder. A weather-cock is attached to OIK) of the chimneys a sheet-iron angel, lying on his breast, and blowing a trumpet, and the wind shifts him round and round over different parts of the village. This angel has blown away thousands of men, but there he lies, his cheeks puffed, blowing yet, as fresh and healthy as ever. The internal arrangement of this building is character istic. A dark, gloomy hall an enormous fire-place, ex tending across the whole end of a room a quaint pair of andirons, which run up very high and prim, and turn back like a hook, with a dog s-head growling on each tip. There are strange pictures on the walls, which have been preserved in memory of the past Moses leading the Children of Is rael through the Wilderness Samson slaying the Lion David cutting off the head of Goliah stern shadows of the men who used to study them not very remarkable works of art, but vivid outlines of the scenes themselves. This house has been occupied by an illustrious line of men, distinguished as divines, lawyers, and reformers, and it seems to glow with the fires they kindled in it in fact, I believe it is inhabited by them yet. I believe that Parson who lived under its roof for more than half a century, and preached during that time in the church near by, occa sionally mounts his low-crowned, broad-brimmed hat, round- cornered coat, short-breeches, knee-buckles, and heavy shoes, ties on his white neck- cloth and takes his cane, and in a spiritual way, wanders back to his mansion, sits down again before the capacious fire-place, and meditates an hour or two as he used to do in life. He is one of those who keep the house company, and give to it its sober air of determination and defiance. The old Puritan church stands near by. Time has thrown 220 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. a mantle of moss over it. When erected, it was shingled from foundation to steeple and a quaint little pepper-box steeple it was. Square, high, solemn-looking pews may be yet seen inside. The pulpit is perched away up under the eaves, like a swallow s nest. It is reached by a flight of steps almost as long as Jacob s ladder. It is covered with names, inscriptions written by men and women who were dust long ago. It looks like the place where Old Hundred was born, lived, and died sombre, earnest, immovable. A burying-ground ancient as the church, closes in on its three sides, and partly encircles it in its arms. There is preaching there yet. The dust of the living and dead con gregations are one : Part of the host have crossed the flood, And part are crossing now. Rough tomb-stones mere ragged slugs, torn from some quarry rounded and smoothed a little by a pious hand stand half-buried in the earth, pointing to the silent sleeper below. And then there are marble slabs, of a more modern date yet very old leaning this way and that, and nod ding at each other. Preachers and congregations lie side by side, and it is one eternal Sabbath now. There are quaint pictures, and holy pictures, and horrible pictures chiselled out on these slabs. Skeleton Death, triumphantly marching with his scythe ! Skulls ! angels and occasion ally a figure that looks like his Satanic majesty ! Epitaphs full of theology, wit, and practical wisdom, are strown around with an unsparing hand. There are a few genuine specimens of the Puritan stock lingering in this village great boulders that lie around in society, like granite blocks on the earth, dropped by Time in his flight, and overlooked or forgotten. Deacon Smith is DEACON SMITH. 221 one of them. He, and his father, and his father s father, were born and lived in the house he now occupies. He has almost reached four score and ten years. He wears the costume of seventy-six, inside and out. His habits are as uniform and regular as the swing of the pendulum. He re tires at nine, rises at four, breakfasts at six, and dines at twelve ; and this is done to a fraction no allowance is made for circumstances what are circumstances in the way of one of his rules ? He marches to bed at the time, and would, if he left the President of the Republic behind him he sits down to his table at the time, whether there is a dish on it or not. Law is law with him. The deacon hates royalty and the British he never overlooked the blood they shed in the revolution. He sel dom speaks to an Englishman. He hates interlopers, inno vations, modern improvements ; and I recollect well, how he poured out his vials of wrath upon the first buggy wagon that he saw. He said it was a very nice thing to sleep in. He left the church for some months, when stoves were first put up, and declared that it was as great a sacrilege as was ever committed, and enough to overthrow the piety of a saint. Religion would keep a man warm any where. He says he * thinks the Puritan blood is running down into slops ! folks are rushing headlong to perdition ! that there has n t been a man in the village for twenty years who ought to be intrusted with himself and it seems to him that the world is winding up business ! When the deacon rises, he goes around his house hawking, spitting, slamming doors, tumbling down wood, just to cast a slur on the lazy habits of modern days. Sometimes, he tramps up and down the village, two hours before day, a-hemming, hawing, and sneezing, for the purpose of letting the sluggards understand he is stirring. He has been known, 222 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. on more than one occasion, to give vent to his feelings, at this early hour, by blowing the family dinner-horn, and declaring, as the blast echoed away, that no Christian man could sleep, after such a call. The Deacon has a few helpers about him, who think as he thinks but they are very few. When they meet, the world takes a most inhuman raking they spare neither age, sex, nor condition. 7 But the leading business men of the village are of a differ ent stamp not Puritans, but Puritanical the same rock with the corners knocked off of less strength, but more polish. They reverence their fathers, keep the religious and political altar they have raised burning, but are not so re gardless of temporal comforts ; in a word, they are Yankees. Major Simeon Giles is a specimen. It is difficult to draw his portrait. He had a hard, dry face, which looks as though it had been turned out from a seasoned white-oak knot. He wears a grievous expression, lying some where between sobriety and melancholy. His money, character and family have made him a great man he is a leading personage in church and state, and exercises a wonderful in fluence in every department of society. The Deacon is full of dry expressions, and many of his cool, sly remarks have become proverbs; but the hardest thing he ever said was after his pious soul had been very much vexed, when he ob served, that if Providence should see fit to remove Mr. from this vale of tears, lie would endeavor to resign himself to the stroke. Major Simeon has many severe struggles within him, be tween the flesh and the spirit. His avarice and piety are both strong, and the former sometimes gains a temporary advantage. All his movements are governed by method. He remains so long at his store, so long at his house, takes MAJOR SIMEON GILES. 223 a journey with his family once a year, * has a place for every thing, and every thing in its place, a peg for his hat, a corner for his boots and he is almost as rigid in observing and enforcing his laws, as Deacon Smith. Major Simeon is supreme, of course, over his own family. He never trifles with his children. A cold shadow falls around him, which often silences their voice of mirth and ringing laugh the effect of reverence, however, more than fear. Major Giles lives in the Old Giles Mansion. I will not pretend to say how many Gileses have occupied it. Their por traits are hanging upon its walls, and their bodies lie in the burying-ground ; a long row of them, all the way across it, and half back again bud, blossom, and gathered fruit. There is the portrait of the celebrated Elnathan Giles, who died during the reign of Queen Anne. He looks very stern. He had passed through the scenes of the Salem witchcraft, and had been personally connected with the excitement had attended several of the trials as a witness ; was bewitched once himself and, according to family tradition, saw one witch hung on out-and-out witch who had bridled many innocent people at midnight, sailed through chamber win dows, and hurry-scurried off with them, astride a broom stick. Next to him, hangs the face of his son, * Colonel Ethelbert, as he was called, who lived just long enough to fight at Bunker Hill. He had been a militia colonel before the re volution, and militia colonels were something in those days. He made a ferocious looking portrait, certainly. One can almost smell gunpowder in the room. He is dressed up in his military coat, standing collar, an epaulette on his shoulder, and there are strewn around him in the back-ground, armies, artillery, drums, and banners. No wonder the Americans 224 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. were victorious. And then came the face of Major Simeon whom I have described. The wives of these men are also done up in oil, and hang meekly and submissively by the side of their lords, as all wives should, or rather as all wives did, in those days and actually died without knowing how much they were op pressed. There are other things beside portraits, to remind Major Simeon of his ancestry. There is a tree still standing, (strange that a tree should outlive generations of men,) that Elnathan planted with his own hand, on the day Ethelbert was born a stately elm, whose branches, in their magnificent curve, almost sweep the ground. This tree shadowed the cold face of both Elnathan and Ethelbert, when their coffins were closed for the last time beneath it. There is the spring, more than a half a century old, that bubbles from the hill, and goes trickling, leaping, and flashing down the green slope, singing away to itself as sweetly as ever. The old lilac bush, too, has outlived thousands whose hands have plucked its blossoms, and yet it bursts out in the spring, and looks as fresh as the children who play beneath it. It has been thought that Major Simeon and his family were aristocratic. There is a stately air about them, when they enter church, that smacks of blood. And the Major himself has often declared, that, while stock is n t every thing, it is a great consolation to know, in his case, that the name of Giles has never been stained. There are several other families in the village whose an cestry runs back as far as the Gileses ; and they have about them as many heir-looms to remind them of it. The village is filled with other characters, quite as original as any I have described. They are important personages, and have lived in it a long time ; but they have no family OLD DOCTOR STYLES. 225 history to fall back upon. There is Major Follett, who still lingers on the shores of time, and sustains a vast dignity amid his declining years. His head is very white, his hat very sleek, and his silk vest is piled very full of ruffles. He carries a gold-headed cane, and when ho marches through the streets, it rises and falls with great emphasis, in harmony with his right foot. Now and then he gives out an ahem ! one of the lordly kind that fairly awes down his infe riors. He is a remarkable talker, too, among his equals uses words having a great many syllables. He never spits, but expectorates his pains are all paroxysms talks about the foreshadowing of events and all his periods are as round and stately as the march of a Roman army. The Major has actually made his assumed dignity pave his way in life it has given him wealth and influence among those who are intrinsically his superiors, but who do not know how to put on the airs of consequence. Old Doctor Styles is living yet. He has survived two or three crops of customers helped them in and out of the world balanced their accounts ^and his face is as ruddy, his laugh as hearty, his stories as ludicrous, his nose as full of snuff, as though nothing melancholy had ever happened in htopractice. Eighty odd and more, he stands as straight as a staff. Death has been so long a business with him, and he has stared it for so many years in the face, that he really does not know, or care, how near he is to it himself. Crapo Jackson, the sexton, is one of the characters. He has announced the end of Doctor Styles labor a great many hundred times through the belfry, and helped cover up what remained. Crapo is black, but he has a fine heart. He is a perfect master of his work. He puts on an air of melan choly and circumspection at a funeral, that becomes the occasion. He sings from door to door, a hymn, on Christ- 10* 226 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. rnas mornings, with cap in hand extended for his * quarter 7 peddles gingerbread on training days and aids the female portion of the community on festival occasions, and does a great many more things, too numerous to mention. Speaking of training days dear me ! there used to be a military spirit in this village, in times past. I can recol lect the names of scores of Generals, Majors, Colonels, Cap tains, and even Corporals yes, Corporals every man couldn t be corporal in those times. Why, bless your soul, reader, there was General Peabody, and General Jones, and Major Goodwin, and Major Boles, and any quantity of Colo nels. And then training day nobody worked the village was upside down Seventy-six was in command, and martial law declared. Major Boles I recollect, when in the active- discharge of his duty. He always grew serious as the great militia mus ter drew on. He went away off by himself, into the cham ber, where he could be alone with the spirits of his forefathers, and burnished up his sword, shook out the dust from his regimentals warned his children to stand out of the way and looked ferociously at his wife. He knew he was Major Boles, and he knew every other respectable man knew it. * But Major-General Peabody was the greatest general / ever saw. When a boy, I looked upon him as a very blood thirsty man, and nothing would have induced me to go near him. He was a little fellow in stature, had a hard round paunch, that looked like an iron-pot, and short, thick, drop sical leg>. (Major Boles, who was a little envious, said they were stuffed, which produced a coldness between them,) his face was freckled, and his hair gray. He wore two massive epaulettes, an old revolutionary cap, shaped like the moon in its first quarter, from which a white and red feather * TRAINING DAY. 227 curved over his left ear. He had a sword and such a sword ! No body dared touch it ; for it was the General s sword ! Training day usually opened with a boom from the field-piece, at sunrise, that shook the hills. About ten in the morning, the soldiers began to pour in from all quarters. Drums and fifes and muskets and rifles filed along in confu- sion^ ambitious companies in uniform common militia, who were out according to law. Uncle Joe Billings, who had played the bass-drum for more than twenty years,. (poor old man, he is dead now! ) was seen gravely marching along, all by himself, his drum slung about his neck, his head erect, his step firm, pushing on to head-quarters, at the measured beat of his own music, now and then cutting a flourish with his right hand, for the amusement of the children who were capering around him. Knots of soldiers gathered about the tavern, and made a circle for the music to practice, prepar atory to the great come-off. Then came the good old con tinental tunes that were full of fight, played by old fifers and drummers that had been through the wars ; men who made a solemn and earnest thing of martial music who rever enced it as the sacred voice of liberty, not to be trifled with, who thought of Bunker Hill, until the tears started from O their eyes. Those old airs, that used to echo among the mountains of New-England where are they ? But the captains, and colonels, and generals did not mix with the common soldiers on training-day no! nor speak to them. Rank meant something. They felt as though they were out in a war. They kept themselves covered from the public gaze away off in a secluded corner of the tavern, and were waited upon with great respect by those of inferior grade. Sometimes a guard was stationed at the door, to prevent a crowd upon their dignity. Occasionally, one of 228 PIDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. them would bustle out among the rank and file on some mo mentous duty, fairly blazing with gold and silver, lace and feathers; but there was never an instance of one of these characters recognizing even his own brother while in milita ry costume. Major Boles has often said that no officer can be expected to see small things when in the active discharge of his duty. At about eleven o clock, the solemn roll of the drums was heard, and loud voices of command followed ; and swords flashed, and feathers danced, in the organization of the com panies ; and then came the training real training a mile down street; a mile back .again ; a perfect roar of music; and flags flying horses prancing. What was rain, or dust, or mud with such an army ! They marched straight through it ; it was nothing to war. The sweat poured down, but the army moved on for hours and hours in its terrible march. The great sight of the day, however, was the Major-Gene ral and his staff I mean, of course, Major-General Pea- body. They were not seen until about three o clock in the afternoon ; it being customary for them to withdraw from public observation the day prior to the muster. When the army was drawn up in the field, preparatory to inspection, there was usually a pause of an hour a pause that was deeply impressive. We never knew exactly where the Gene ral and his staff were concealed. Some persons said they were housed in one place, some in another ; but, upon the dis charge of a cannon, they burst upon us, glittering like the sun, and came cantering down the road with perfect fury, in a cloud of dust, followed by a score of boys who were on 9 sharp run to * keep up. 7 General Peabody and his staff always rushed headlong into the field, without looking to the right or left. I recol lect that on one occasion he demolished an apple-cart, an4 MAJOR-GENERAL PEABODY. 229 absolutely turned every thing topsy-turvy, besides creating great consternation among the by-standers ; but it did not disturb him, and it was only upon information the next day that he knew that any thing serious had happened. Passing the ruins of the apple-cart, and entering within the guarded lines, he halted, and took a survey of his troops. Then the music saluted him, and the companies waved their flags. He rode a little nearer, rose in his stirrups, jerked out his sword spitefully, and, looking ferociously, cried out, * Shoulder arms ! This cry was just as spitefully repeated by the subordinate officers, and, after a while, the privates, one after another, lazily raised their pieces to their shoul ders. The General was in the act of rising again, and was drawing in his breath for a command of thunder, when his horse wheeled at the report of a musket that went off in the lines, and came near upsetting him, feathers and all ; but he fell .into the arms of one of his aids, and swore, as I was at the time credibly informed, though I could hardly be lieve it. The General very soon righted himself, and striking his horse several violent blows across his rump, cut a great many flourishes on the field, to the utter astonishment of the look ers-on. He then rushed through the orders of .the day like a mad man, and was manifestly utterly fearless of conse quences. I hope my readers are satisfied that Major-General Pea- body was a great military character. I recollect, when a boy, that I heard him say, * that he was very sure he would be the last man to run in a fight that lie was afraid to trust himself in a battle, for he never could lay down his sword until the last enemy was massacred ! The old man was laid under the turf one autumnal after noon, many years ago, but his prowess is not forgotten to 230 PUDDLEFOIID AND ITS PEOPLE. this day. His son, Colonel Aslier Peabody, who inherited his father s spirit, erected a stately monument over his re mains, which was covered with drums, and fifes, and swords, and waving banners, arid big-mouthed guns, intermixed with texts of Scripture, the virtues of the deceased, admonitions to the living, etc. This monument was always as terrific to me as the General himself; and, in my boyish days, I always contemplated it from a distance, not knowing but that it might blow up a piece of juvenile impertinence like myself on the spot. Yes, reader, these were training-days in New-England ; but the military glory has now actually died out. The last gathering I saw I shall never forget. It was, indeed, a sorry., group, made up of a rusty captain, two or three faded cor porals, and a handful of dare-devil privates, who cared no more for their country than so many heathen. The officers looked cowed and heart-broken, and loitered about in a very melancholy way, and it was evident that the spirit of 76 was on its last legs. I afterwards learned, I am sorry to say, that the captain, in a fit of patriotic rage, broke his sword across his knee, and declared that he never would turn out again as long as his name was Jones ! And, then, reader, this village was full of boys when I was a boy. Every village is, you say. Very likely ; but such boys; there have never been any thing like them since. They wandered with me Saturday afternoons through the meadows, where the lark was flitting and singing; and we related wonderful stories about the future. We cut red-wil low canes, made whistles, and dammed mountain rivulets. Life opened to us with a chant : it was melody, melody, every where. There was the mountain-gorge, down which we rolled stones with the voice of thunder; the big rock, in the river, from which we fished ; the pond, that we ALL THIS BELONGS TO PUDDLEFORD. 231 thought had no bottom ; the mountain cliff , with its * den of snakes : where are those boys now ? Every where no where ! Citizens of the world, some ; and some of that other world. They will never be all gathered but once more. But what has all this to do with Puddleford? Much. They are so many pictures that I carry around with me, and they form a part of my existence. They color life, thought* action : they mould the man : they are continually inviting contrasts, and making suggestions, and I cannot omit to no tice them in my sketch of that famous village. When I last saw my native village it was but a little while ago it lay sleeping in its amphitheatre as beautiful and tranquil as ever among the shadows of its elms. It was summer, and the air was rich with music and flowers. The highest peaks of the mountain were draped in blue, and the valley beneath was a waving sea of green, down which the sunshine chased the shade. The quail was blowing his sim ple pipe among the fields of grain ; the drone of the locust, the clanging of the mower s scythe, and the shout and the song were heard in the fields in the still afternoon. When the sun went down, and its last flash leaped from the vane on the church-steeple to a lofty mountain-peak, three miles away, the whip-poor-will began her plaintive song, and the night-hawks went wheeling through the sky. Then the evening bells broke forth, and their echoes sobered the twi light ; and, as their last vibration expired along the valley, the river stood golden beneath the rays of the moon. 232 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER XX. And still New-England Sui Generis Her Ruggedness the soil of Liberty The Contrast The New-England Conservative The New-England Man of Business The West has no Past Fast, and Hospitable Saxon Blood and Saxon Spirit. SUCH is a picture of some of the old-school New-England men, as they flourished years ago. Such are some of the portraits and images that rise up, and stand out vividly be fore me. New-England is unlike any thing the pioneer sees, hears, or feels in a wilderness country. She is unlike his country in her creation. Her solemn mountains, lone lakes her rush ing streams, that dart like arrows from her precipices the roar of her cataracts, amid her ragged gorges her long and tranquil reaches of valley the cold, solemn, and quiet pictures of Nature that she mingles and groups on her can vas give soul and spirit to the people who are nursed upon her soil ; and they, too, grow gigantic, like the objects around them patriotism, integrity, firmness, germinate and become athletic in such fastnesses: Liberty last expires upon the mountains. Why was civil and religious liberty planted, amid Decem ber snows, upon her inhospitable coast ? Why was it com mitted to her rugged elements of Nature, if not to harden the men, and strengthen and preserve principles ? Had the May Flower discharged its freight of ideas amid abundance, soft skies, and a teeming soil, it is not certain that the Decla ration would have been signed in 17*76. How different is the great west ! One great plain of prai- NEW-ENGLAND. 233 rie and woodland, reaching from zone to zone, fairly bursting with the richness of its varied soil and climate reserved, as it were, by Providence, to receive the less hardy and vigor ous generations, which time might throw off upon her tame in scenery, but filled with the resources of wealth and power. But New-England is not only unlike the west in its crea tion, but her people, from a thousand causes, have fixed and established habits and customs as unlike. And all these have become as stereotyped by ages, as the figures upon a panorama. The New-England panorama, in all its essential features, rolls off to-day as it did years ago. Who has not been impressed with this truth ? Select an old New-Eng land town analyze it as you once knew it, and as it is now. How was it, how is it made up ? It was finished then the last blow was struck, the last foundation laid, the rub bish all cleared away ; as if it only waited for the final ex plosion of all things even the magnificent elms that sol emnly swept its streets, grew no longer they, too, had reached maturity, and gone to sleep. So it is now. A western village, in its general aspect, presents the very reverse of this. Like Jonah s gourd, it is the " son of a night." It seems to have been thrown up by an army on the march and such is the fact the mighty army of pioneers, who are here to-day and there to-morrow, and who are only traced by such huge footsteps. The people of a New-England village appear to have been procured, assorted and arranged, for their positions and oc cupations. Each person treads in his own circle each is stamped with a value branded good, bad, or indifferent. There is the conservative gentleman the dash that connects generations he who has taken a preemption right to re spectability whose patent dates away back among histori- 234 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. cal reminiscences and dead bones whose presence is prima facie evidence of all that is claimed and exercised. A man of authority is he. He carries an odor of the past around with him an air a something that smells of blood a consciousness that some time, or some how, some body or something had given his ancestors a cross that fol lowed and sublimated his whole race. Such men impress a consequence upon objects around them. Their family carriages look wise and venerable heir-looms embalmed by generations gone. They drive horses that think and know who and what they are and who live and die under the protection of their masters. Their church-pews blaze in crimson are piled with cushions, arrayed with stools, and tables, and books, with two pillows and a foot-stove in the corner, for the old lady of seventy, who wheezes and takes snuff.. Perhaps, reader, you have met just such a New-England character. He never moves below a line in society a line as arbitrary with him as 30 30 . He had a broad face, double chin, heavy nose, wide-brimmed hat, and buff vest, filled with ruffles. You have heard him deliver his opinion upon a question of public policy, or public morals his voice slow and sepulchral his manner heavy, almost me lancholy made impressive through the aid of a gold-headed cane, with which he occasionally beats out the emphatic portions of his homily. Perhaps you attempted to make a suggestion yourself if you did, you recollect the frown, the reproof that came down upon you, from those cold, gray eyes of his, and perhaps the shock you inflicted upon the timid around you, from your impudence. This class do not, by any means, constitute the back -bone of New-England. The enterprise that breaks through her mountains, upheaves her valleys, and sends the iron-horse on CONSERVATIVES. 235 its way creates the roar of machinery that reverberates among her hills grasps with, and battles for, the public questions of the day pours a tide of life and energy into every thing around which makes itself felt through the long arms of commerce in every part of the world, and whose touch electrifies every mart this enterprise is born, and quickened, and sustained some where else. These men are the mere spectators of all this bustle. They are rather drag- weights upon it the acknowledged conservative army of * masterly inactivity. These conservatives are not without value, but they can only exist in a fixed state of society. They are the work of ages, and can not be created in a breath. No such characters can be found in the western world. The roots of such a growth lie away back among the Puritans. One can smell Plymouth Rock, Cotton Mather, Bunker Hill, and indeed the whole revolutionary war, in the very production. Pedi gree associations, musty ideas, which lie scattered every where, and yet nowhere in particular, are the foundation of this kind of aristocracy ; all of which is submitted to by cus tom and habit. What if an attempt should be made to, build up such a society in a new country ? Where would we begin ? There is no past to hallow and dignify the present ; and without a past to draw upon, and anchor to, an aristocracy would be all afloat. The past of Puddleford, so far as my researches go, ends in the Pottawatamie Indians a little later in Longbow, Turtle, and Bates. This is the extent of our re sources ; and no one has been yet found, who was willing to go into that kind of business on such a capital. Money, so often the foundation of pretension, is widely diffused, in very small parcels. Historical local incidents there are none. The conquest of the country was by the axe and an indom- 236 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. itable spirit. There was no blood nor brimstone used. The pioneer s little family of sinewy children, was the army that entered it, and took possession of the soil. But the people of New-England, I said, were assorted. The man of business, the merchant, the mechanic, was a merchant, a mechanic, in the same place, the same building, perhaps forty years ago and his whole life is one of order and system. He lives by rule is as fixed in his sphere as the conservative in his. His income for the future can be calculated from the past. His duties are foreseen and pro vided for. Domestic expenses so much ; support of the Gospel so much ; charity so much ; pleasure so much ; which, deducted from income, balance, so much. Here, again, is the fruit of a fixed society. The creditor of a New-England merchant knows where his customer will be next year at his old post, or dead. How is it in a new country ? Not one resident in ten is permanently located. Every man expects to remove some where else, at some time. Here is no association, no tie, to bind him to the soil. The pioneer is but a passenger, who has stopped over night, as it were, and he holds himself ready to push forward, at the blow of the trumpet. Villages, and even whole townships, change inhabitants in short periods, and other men, with other views and habits, step in and take their places. Where does the merchant creditor find his western customer of last year ? Sold out, perhaps, to Mr. A., and Mr. A. sold to Mr. B., and Mr. B. to Mr. C. Mr. C. pays all arrearages, and Mr. A. and B. are boating on the Mississippi, or ballooning in some fancy speculation on the north shore of the Oregon. While the great west suffers from a want of the virtues that attend a fixed society, as it undoubtedly does, it does not find itself obliged to contend against its prejudices. CONTRASTS. 237 There are no arbitrary lines drawn, based upon mere ideas no venerable fictions in the way. Custom, habit, society, immemorial usage, hang no dead-weights upon the young and ambitious. All start from the same line, the prize is aloft in full view, and he who first reaches it, creates his own precedence. If there is no past to hallow and chasten the people of a new country, no permanent present to hold them to one spot, so in one sense, there is no future. There is no locality that is adorned and beautified for coming years no spot desig nated to become venerable to posterity no tree nursed and protected in memory of him who planted it no ground consecrated for the burial of the dead. Houses are built, localities adorned, trees planted, cemeteries erected, but they who fashioned all this, do not abide with them they are ever on the march, and the stranger takes possession of tho memorials they leave behind ; and if posterity should at tempt to collect the works of such an ancestor, it would find them scattered over the circuit of States. We have attempted, in a plain way, to draw a comparison, very briefly to be sure, between a fixed and an un-fixed so ciety. Both have their advantages, and their disadvantages. If New-England is slow and methodical, she is strong. She moves in close phalanx upon any public question or duty. The very bonds of habit which pervade all, and all alike, concentrate and intensify her action. Her people act in a mass toward one point. They strike through organiza tions which are gigantic and reverend with age. The Church gathers the energies and means of the benevolent. Public opinion is harmonious about public ends. And this very fixedness of society enables its members to push forward with a unity and strength almost omnipotent. In a new country, as we have seen, action is individual 238 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. and ends are individual. Men are unorganized. He who goes forward with axe in hand to hew his pathway to com petence and respectability, is governed by few relics of the past. He breaks away, in time, (too completely, perhaps,) from old associations, some of which were trammels, being the mere result of usage, and some of which he ought to cherish for their intrinsic excellence. He looks forward to a country and people in the future, (some where in the future ; locality is nothing,) and he hurries on, with fury almost, to reach the destination of his dreams. The people of the West are called a fast people. How can they be otherwise ? Their very necessities drive them. They can not fall back upon any prop ; they can move on ward without limit. It required, half a century ago, the labor of a generation to sweep off the forest, and plant cities and villages but all this is accomplished in half of that time now. Pioneers grow more expanded in their views. The father of the pioneer of to-day, grew into consequence as a heavy landed proprietor, upon a farm of forty acres his son can hardly satisfy his ambition with six hundred and that is always for sale (there is no poetry, as we have seen, about a western homestead) and he stands ready to vacate upon six month s notice and a consideration. This miscellaneous state of society begets a peculiar hos pitality. New-England has been famed for its hospitality, but the kind I mean, is a very different thing. Hospitality in an old country, under the bonds of society, is too formal, too cold, and sometimes a little oppressive. It is not always hospitality; it is, sometimes, the performance of a social duty, according to the rules and regulations prescribed for its observance painful to all parties concerned. It is artificial as hearty, perhap>, as it can be under bond>. The table, in the West, is always spread, and the roof always WESTERN SOCIETY. 239 offers shelter. There is an ease, an abandonment in its exer cise, that is positively beautiful, and can be understood only when felt. A fixed state of society begets feuds, and cherishes old grudges. A quarrel that originated between grandfathers, is often carried down and kept brewing. Families are divid ed from other families for years, and sometimes for gene rations, about matters of no consequence. It is perhaps a point of etiquette, a stinging remark, an accidental or pre meditated slight, a question of dollars and cents, a political or religious difference of opinion, that opened the breach which will not be healed. Thus, bomb-shells are often thrown from one to another, by fathers and children and grand-children, and families kept in an uproar about nothing This society not only cherishes old grudges, but it is nervous and sensitive to the least touch of the present. A morbid pride of wealth, family, position, is ever on the look-out for an attack upon its consequence perhaps to make an on slaught upon others. Here the West has the advantage. There is no one to keep alive old grudges. Not one man in a hundred can tell what his neighbor s father or grand-father was where he flourished or decayed what were his personal piques or social battles. And as for present causes of personal war, they are few it requires something more than a sublimated idea or notion an antiquated figment of the brain 01 present artificiality to warm up the combatants. The practical realities of the West are too great and pressing to give time or disposition to dally with abstractions. Gross outrages are quickly met and redressed they are not car ried down on the docket of time for posterity to try, nor nursed in the bosom, from the revengeful pleasure they afford. 240 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Reader, these are a few of the advantages and disadvanta ges of the two states of eastern and western society not western society, after it becomes rooted and established, as it has in many of the States but during its first ten, perhaps twenty years, in its green state, while the gristle is harden ing into bone. These few suggestions are written in no morbid or carping spirit. They are written with a consciousness of the manly virtues, and solid worth, of New-England, as she is, and always has been. They simply mark points of difference, worked upon men by a change of soil and society points that should be known, whether approved or condemned. What son of New-England does not look back upon her with pride ? What associations throng around him when her name is mentioned ! Her hills, her hearths, her homes, send a thrill through the soul, and make him, for a time, at least, a better man. What armies of scholars have walked forth into the battle of life from her cloisters ? How many have been girded and helmeted in her halls ! Where is the spot where her footsteps are not imprinted, her cheering voice heard ? Shall we ever forget her ? What sermons her old homesteads are continually preaching to her children, scattered, as they are, throughout every degree of latitude and longitude, in all positions and avocations ! The cold brooks, where the trout darted the grove where the nuts dropped the blue sublimity of her mountain-tops, where sunlight first broke in the morn, and last died at night the great shadows that slept in her valleys the reverbera tion of her thunder her "solemn fasts and feasts" her day of Thanksgiving, that united again the broken fragments of the family circle the merry voice of Christmas, that rung so cheerily through her halls her graves, that hold all that remains of those who were giants in religion, liberty, INFLUENCE OF NEW-ENGLAND. 241 and law, ami who ** although dead, } t speak" her arts her monuments her altars, where generations haw, knelt and passed away are all living eloquence to her child ren, and can never be forgotten, if not always remembered. She is the Mecca to which many a weary pilgrim turns for strength and counsel, in the storm and bustle of life, and her brain, and her capital, and her example, are felt throughout half the globe. Let us not, however, in our veneration for New-England, forget the iron-souled and true-hearted men, who have gone forth from that ancient hive, to make a way in the wilder ness for incoming generation*, whose march is ever upon the <3ar. They had their mission, too^and nobly have they per formed it. What but Saxon blood, and Saxon spirit, could have accomplished so much? If it was, and still is, done roughly, it was all done for time, and will stand it is some thing that will bear looking back upon, and of which no son of posterity will be ashamed. 242 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER XXI. Spring at the West Sugar Days Performances of the Cattle April Advent of the Blue- Jays and the Crows The Blue-birds, Phebes, and Robins April, and its Inspiring Days The Frogs, and their Concerts Gophers, Squirrels, Ants; Swallows, Brown- Threshers, and Blackbirds The Swallows, the Martins, and the Advent of May. SPRING opens in the western wilds with great pomp and beauty. After our winter had passed, accompanied with few out-door amusements, how inspiring were her first foot steps ! February slowly gave way to March, the sun each day rolled higher and higher, and the heavens grew bluer and bluer. Then came the still, clear, cold nights, when the stars flashed like diamonds, and the still, warm days, that flooded the lakes and streams. Here and there, a bird would appear one of the more hardy sort a kind of courier, that had been sent out by his fellows, lonely, like the dove from the ark, to spy out the land, and report its condition. These couriers, who I supposed were birds that were with us the preceding year, rummaged around the woods, like a family who had just returned to a long deserted mansion. They flew from tree to tree, eyed the knot-holes, examined every thing, shivered a few nights on a snowy limb, and then hurried back to make their report. The outside birds who were thus represented, and who were so anxious to come on, were like a press at the theatre, before the hour had arrived to hoist the curtain. These March days, were sugar days. Puddleford was THE SUGAR-BUSH. 243 of course in confusion ; men, women, and children turned out with kettles and pans, into the * bush ; and one would have supposed from the clouds of smoke that rolled over the tops of the trees, that a tribe of gypsies had camped there. The girls, dressed in linsey-woolsey, were boisterous ; the boys, uproarious ; and a whole army of dogs, full of the spirit of the occasion, stormed around, barking at every deer-track, and tore all the rotten logs in pieces. Then came a long, warm, still rain and the frogs shouted to each other their melancholy music and the grass and the roots that were soaking in the marshes, sent out their sweetness the bud began to swell on the willow the geese gathered in a procession, with some pompous gander at its head, and marched to the river and the barn-yard fowls climbed up into trees, on top of the sheds and stacks, and cackled, and crowed, and clucked, and chatted together, like so many guests at a party. The cattle congregated, and wandered away off to an open plain, and went through certain exercises, the significance of which was known only to themselves. One old cow of mine whose reputation was good, and whose frosty bones had scarcely moved during the winter, and who was present at this celebration, suddenly wheeled out of the ranks, rolled her tail over her back, put herself on a circuitous canter, cutting as many capers as a French dancing-master, and brought up, at last, with a bellowing blast, that was quite terrific. At a distance stood another of the herd, frothing at the mouth, lashing herself with her tail, and throwing clouds of sand on high, with her fore-feet. Away, in another quarter, were a couple of very thoughtful looking animals, fencing with their horns. Every little while, some good or evil spirit would take possession of them, and the whole com- 244 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. pany would fling their tails aloft, and with a great noise, go off in a stampede that made the ground tremble. As April approached, or rather the reflected light from her distant wheels, the voice of the birds changed into a mellower tone. The blue-jay, whose harsh scream had so long grated on my ear, grew softer, and he blew once in a while, one of his spring pipes, (for he is a great imitator, and has many,) which, after all, sounded rather husky, and winter-like. His heart grew warmer, too. He would sit on a dry tree close to the eaves of my house, and peer through the windows, to see what was going on inside, jump down, and bow himself up on the door-steps, to remind us, in the best way he could, of the sunshine outside. Soon the crows began to sweep solemnly through the air with their caw! caw! They sailed round and round, now lighting on some tree, now on the ground, then away they went into the heavens again. They seemed to be taking a very thorough examination of the premises, making out the lines of occupation, and acquiring a new possession of the same, for the use of themselves and those they represented. Sometimes a body of them lazily winging their way over my house, and looking down from their height upon my dimin utive form, would shower upon my head ten thousand Ccfs! as if in utter contempt of both me and mine. I occasion ally fired a shot at them, and the only answer I got, was a quick l Ca-Ca / as much as to say : Try it again ! Try it again ! Who cares ! Then came the blue-bird. I threw up my window amid the latter days of March, one sunshiny morning, and there she sat, on a maple, blowing her flute. Banks of snow were scattered here and there, but the ground smelt moist and spring-like. Where did that little piece of melody come from ? Where was she, the day before ? Her song was a BIRDS CLEANING HOUSE. 245 little poem about south-west winds, and violets, and running brooks perhaps she was a preacher, sent out by the daisies to herald their coming -perhaps her song was only a prayer for she went round, from place to place, on this tree and that, in her little cathedral, as priests do in theirs, and erected her altar, and made her offering. She had a great deal to say, and a great many persons and things to deliver her message to ; for in a little while she went, rising and foiling as though she were riding billows of air, to the roof of my neighbor s house, where she sang the same song again ; and after thus spending an hour or two about the neighborhood, she crossed the river, and clashed into the woods. On the next morning, the blue-bird came again, and brought a phebe with him, and they two sang a kind of duet for my benefit. Their harmony was perfect for 1 there is no discord in nature. On the following day, at dawn, before the sun arose, I heard the robin rolling off her mellow notes. I looked out and saw a little flock run ning along on the ground, and picking at the fresh earth, evidently for the purpose of determining its condition. This same flock, I am sure, remained upon my premises during the summer, and had, in fact, possession of them for many years previous. For they appeared every day or two, and grew more and more inquisitive, and examined more closely. A couple finally took possession of this tree, and a couple of that. They commenced cleaning house. They flitted about from limb to limb, balanced themselves on the dry twigs, as if trying their strength and elasticity, ran them selves away down into the joints, and dissected the crotches, picked up and cast away the dead moss and leaves, and made as much bustle and stir as a woman on May-day. As I was watching a couple of them, one day, while they 246 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. were busy at work, they seemed quite annoyed at my pre sence. They flirted off from the tree to a fence near by, with a mellow cry saying, plainly enough, as they bobbed around, * What ! what! Any-thing-wrong? Any-thing- wrong ? Please-go-away ha-ha-please-go-away. Some four weeks later, these birds began to build. They went sailing through the air with the timbers of their castle in their mouths. This timber was selected with great care. Straw after straw, and sprig after sprig was picked up and cast away before the right one was found. They remained with me during their stay north, and returned each succeed ing year to the same tree, until the woods all about me were felled, when they deserted me for other quarters. April shone out at last. Away down in the wild mea dows, the cowslip pushed up its green head into the sunshine, and along the warm hill-sides the wind-flowers were strown. How they came there, I cannot tell. The day before, it was all bleak, and chilly, and flowerless there. They must have been scattered by the morning rays of light. A melting bank of snow frowned down upon them, close by. Soon the shade-tree sent out its blossoms of lilac, and the dog wood burst into a pile of snow. The hard, gray, leafless trees stood up sternly around these first daughters of spring, arrayed in their garments of pomp, and looked, as well as inanimate things can look, jealous and uneasy. All over the aisles of the forest lay enormous trunks of trees, like columns about an unfinished temple, thickly coated with a heavy green moss ; and there was a smell of bark, and swelling twigs, and struggling roots such a smell as only the early spring days give out as though the earth and the forest were just gaping and stretching with a decayed last year s breath, before rousing up to the duties of this. Then the rivulets began to get into tune. The one that WHAt WAS VENISON DREAMING OF? 247 hin tumbling through the woods seemed to be in a very great hurry, and shot around its islands of moss and promon tories of tree-roots with great zeal. It had unwound from its reel of light and moisture a green ribbon, that lay along its shores miles and miles away in the wilderness ; and the birds slily bathed themselves in its waters ; and, now and then, a small fish came rushing down with the speed of an arrow, just returning from his winter quarters to the river, probably to enter his name upon the great piscatorial roll preparatory to summer service. In a basin, just below a little fall of this brook, two or three wood-ducks were ploughing round and round. These wood-ducks are hermits, and secrete themselves in ponds and watery thickets, where silence and shadows prevail. On one of these mornings, ruminating on its banks, sat Venison Styles, his gun resting on the ground, apparently in a pro found study. I looked at the old hunter a long time, and his figure was as fixed and immovable as if he were a part of the landscape, and had grown there like the trees about him. What can the old man be dreaming about? thought I. Perhaps he already hears the approaching footsteps of dancing May, her head crowned with flowers, and the music of the thousand birds that supported her train. It was al ready spring summer in his soul. He was thinking of the sports of ihe coming year, and the light and pomp of the seasons passed before his imagination, like the gorgeous pictures of a panorama. These April days were inspiring. Occasionally, a bleak squall of rain or snow obscured the sky, and silenced the music of nature ; but the heavens looked bluer, and the birds sang more lustily, after it passed away. In the latter part of the month the ground became settled, and the frogs to ward evening, and sometimes during the moist, smoky af- 248 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. ternoons, sent up their melancholy wailing from the wide wastes of marsh that stretched themselves through the woods and along the river banks. Some of these marshes were ten miles long, and two or three broad, and such a concert of voices as congregated there was never equalled by any thing else. I had, and still have, notions of my own about these vocalists. I am sure that they sang under discipline and system that they performed on different kinds of in struments. Some of them seemed to be blowing a flageolet; others drew their bows across their violins ; some played the fife ; while, here and there, might be heard gram twangs, like the twanging of bass-viol strings. He who listened long and closely might detect delicate vibrations of almost every tone in art or nature. Sometimes their voices sounded like the dying echoes of ten thousand bells, all of a different key, yet the tangled melody was an entanglement of chords and discords, and it rolled away and expired in waves of pure harmony : again, it was like a choir of human voices per forming an anthem. I thought I could hear syllables, too the articulation of words something like a psalm. Then the words and sounds appeared to change, and, by the aid of the imagination, one would have supposed that the whole community were shouting delivering political harangues or that its members had got on a bust, and were rattling off all kinds of nonsense in a drunken frolic,. April brought with it, too, flying showers and warm sun shine. The grass began to wake up, and scent the air with its sweetness. Along the water-courses the willows unfolded their leaves ; the buds swelled in the forests ; and the tree> tops were touched with a light shade of brown, and then a shade of green, which grew deeper and deeper each day. Large flocks of pigeons darkened the air, all moving from south to north, from whence, or to where, I could not telL THE ANTS, AND THEIR LABORS. 249 A company would sometimes * hold up for an hour or two, to feed and rest, like a caravan at an oasis ; but they soon took their wings again, and pursued their journey. The tenants of the ground burst their tombs, and came up for duty. The gopher, and squirrel, and the ant went to work. I noticed a large community of ants who had com menced building a city. Their last year s metropolis was destroyed, and they were compelled to begin from the foun dation, and such a stir and bustle was never exceeded. Hun dreds of laborers were in the work up to their eyes. Here was one fellow with a grain of sand in his mouth a rock to him, I suppose climbing over twigs and dead grass, standing sometimes perpendicular with his load, and not un- frequently falling over backwards, yet struggling away, sur mounting all obstacles, until he finally reached the place of deposit. Then there was a class of miners who shot up from their holes, dropped their speck of dirt, wheeled, and shot back again. Trains of them were continually ascending and descending. There was still another class * blooded cha racters, most likely possibly overseers who did not do any work, but ran around from point to point, as if in specting the re.>t, and giving to them directions. Once in a while a couple of workmen would run a-foul of each other, and get into a quarrel a clinch a fight and the tus sle lasted until they were parted. This colony, I will say, erected a large mound of earth in a very few weeks gi gantic to them as an Egyptian pyramid is to us in which they lived and labored during the season. Finally, the swallows, and brown threshers, and blackbirds, and martins came not all in a body, but straggling along. The blackbirds appeared first, and might be seen flying about from tree to tree, and fence to fence, near by the up turned furrows that the ploughman had left behind him. 11* 250 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Such a saucy troop of pirates as they were ! Flocks of them sat about in the oaks, showering a host of epithets upon the said ploughman ; then a dozen or more darted down, stag gered over the ground, picked up a worm, and dashed away into the oaks again. They scolded, and fretted, and coaxed, and threatened, and nettled about like a belle of sixteen. Some of them were dressed in a suit of glossy black, with a neck-cloth of shifting green ; others wore red epaulettes on their wings, and a flock of them, darting through the air, had the appearance of braided streams of fire, or interlaced rainbows. Toward evening, they all went down among the alders and willows by the river, and had a long chat among themselves. They bowed, and twitched, and stretched down one wing, and then the other ; lit upon the little twigs, and see-sawed as they sung, and did many other things. They were evidently erecting themselves into some kind of a go vernment for the year holding a caucus perhaps an elec tion deposing an old monarch, or elevating a new ; for it was easy to hear them say what they would do, and what they wouldn t that is, easy for one who. has studied the blackbird language and sometimes an awful threat might be detected, mixed with a great many wheedling words and gracjous postures. The brown-threshers came next, and they were just as full of chatter and life as they were the year before. Birds never grow old, it seems to me, nor have I eyer been able to determine when or where they, die. The hunter kills but a very few, and those few of a certain kind. What becomes of the rest ? They breed every spring in great numbers ; but how, when, and where do they die ? We do not find dead birds in the woods ; at any rate, very few. Yes, the brown-threshers were as young as ever. They looked very shabby and mussed when I last saw them in the fall ; but MAY. 251 now their brown clothes shone as cleanly as a Quaker-girl s shawl. They took up Nature s music-book, and rattled off all the songs, and glees, and anthems in it very often making a medley of it, mixing the notes of the birds that were chant ing around all together and they often closed the perform ance with an original strain of their own, composed on the spot. When the swallows and the martins came, I knew that spring was fully established. They appeared suddenly dur ing the night ; for when the May sun arose, they were twit tering and wheeling through the air, shooting up and plung ing down in a kind of delicious rapture. Their music was set on the staff of blue skies, south-west winds, and flowers. There was not a note of winter in it. The woods, and streams, and fields seemed to have been waiting for their melody, for all nature went to work, and was soon clad in beauty, and light, and song. 252 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CHAPTER XXII. A Railroad through Puddleford Effect on Squire Longbow Bright Prospects of Puddleford Change The Styleses The New Justice Aunt Sonora s Opinions Ike Turtle Grows too Ven ison Disappears from among Men His Grave, and his Epitaph. READER, I have written for you the history of a year s residence at Puddleford. But the place is changed now very much changed. It is not what it used to be its peo ple, its habits are very different. This change was the result of a variety of causes. The first thing that happened to it a startling event it was a railroad was built plump through its heart. It was a road running a great distance, and it took Puddleford in its way, merely because it happened to fall in its line. I shall never forget Squire Longbow s fren zied excitement the first time the locomotive came puffing and whistling in. He actually lost his dignity for the mo ment. He ran and wheezed after the steam-horse, like a madman, lost his green eye-shade, and committed a very serious breach in the rear part of his pantaloons. He did not venture very near the machine at first, but sheltered himself behind a tree, where he could watch its panting and spitting without danger. I recollect how pompously the Squire talked on this occa sion. He said all nater could n t stop Puddleford having ten thousand inhabitants fore nother census she d be one of the or-poriums (emporiums) of the west it was nothing on airth that made Greece and Rome, but these great etarnal improvements and as he was a kind of oracle among a THE RAILROAD, AND WHAT FOLLOWED IT. 253 large class, he infused a spirit of consequence and import ance into those around him, that was quite ludicrous. Ike Turtle, Sile Bates, the Beagles, and Swipes, and many others, actually mounted their Sunday-clothes, and wore them every day but whether Ike himself was in fun or earnest, no person could tell. The building of this road was the cause of a great change certainly ; yet it changed not the population itself, but sub stituted another in its stead. It brought in a class of per sons who had money, and money is omnipotent every where. It brought different habits, thoughts, and feelings. The 1 Styles family first purchased a large farm near the village. There was an air about them that fairly awed the Puddle- fordians. They were petted, run after, imitated. One could hear nothing but Young Mr. Styles, Old Mr. Styles, The elderly Mrs. Styles, Miss Arabella Styles, Miss Florinda Styles. Miss Florinda and Arabella wore flaring under clothes in those days, and this fashion fairly upset the heads of the Puddleford ladies ; and in less than a month I could not identify half the women of the place. Their shrunken forms stuffed with skirts, were about the shape of little pyramids. Purchases of farms and village property went on, year after year, until nearly every true Puddlefordian was ousted. The place has now, like the snake, cast its skin ; and the old pioneers, they who hewed down the forest, and bore the heat and burden of the day, are living around the outskirts of the village, with hardly a competence, or have emigrated to wilds still farther west. Squire Longbow, however, still holds his own. He still lives on the old spot is just as wise and happy as ever. Time has not affected his intellect, or impaired his self-con sequence, lie is no longer justice of the peace, bnt in his 251 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. place we have a pert, dapper, little fellow, who wears a large- ring on his little finger, and gives very scholastic opinions. The Squire professes to hold him in contempt, and says he runs agin the staterts and. common-law mor n half the time that he do n t know a fiery factus from a common execution that * he never looks inter the undying Story for thority, but goes on squashing papers, right strait agin the constitution and the etarnal rights of man. Aunt Sonora was dissatisfied, too, with the revolution in society. She told me the last time I saw her, that Puddle- ford was made up of a hull passel of flip-er-ter-^^-its, and she couldn t see what in created natur the place was a- comin to she never seed such works in all her born days, that the men wore broadcloth, and the women silks, and flar d and spread about like peacocks. Nobody does nuthin , said she. The dear massy ! They are getting so hoity- toity ! I do wonder who pays ! Ike Turtle is about the only person who has grown with the place. There was no such thing as keeping him under. He is just as humorous as ever, but a little more polished. Ike says * it wo n t do to let his natur out as he used to, when the bushes were thick, and Squire Longbow was gov- ner that he feels himself almost a-bustin with one of his speeches, sometimes ; but the folks would n t understand him, if he made it and as for law, he d gin it all up it had got to be so nice and genteel an article, there war n t a grain of justis in it every thing was peal d up, and peal d up, until 5 both parties themselves were peal d to death. Ike has turned his attention to land and saw-mills, and is getting rich. Poor Venison Styles ! Dear old hunter! Venison is dead, and his children are scattered in the wilderness. He was found, one May morning, stretched out under a large maple, GRAVE OF VENISON STYLES. 255 his dog and gun by his side, stiff and cold. The brown threshers and blue-birds were ringing merrily above him, and the squirrels were chattering their nonsense in the dis tance. His dog lay with his nose near his master s face, his fore-paw upon his shoulder. "How he died, no one could tell. He is buried on a bluff that overlooks the river, and I have fenced his grave and erected a stone over his remains, with this inscription Nature loved him, if man did not. 256 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. CONCLUSION. The Philosophy of Puddleford Diverse Elements in Pioneer Lite Longbow, and his Administration Not Expensive Two Hun dred a Year, All Told What would Chief Justice Marshall have Done as Justice at Puddleford ? Longbow a Great Man Fame and Politics Ike, a Wheel Puddleford Theology Camp-Meet ings Who do Bigelow s Work Better than Bigelow? Great Happiness, and Pew Nerves No Society No Fashion in Clothes, or Any Thing Else Bull s-Eye and Pinchbeck The Great Trade didn t Come Off Abounding Charity and Hospi tality Pilgrim Blood Longbow s Planting the Mud- Sills Old Associations, how Controlling ! Good-Bye, Eeader. READER, I cannot dismiss Puddleford, without adding a Chapter in conclusion. The pictures I have drawn, suggest to me something more. There is & philosophy that uirdcr- lies the dignity of Longbow, the humor of Turtle, the rough sincerity of Aunt Sonora, the stormy and eccentric eloquence of Bigelow. Do you not think so ? Puddleford was like a thousand other new settlements. It had its green state to pass through and Puddh ford s* pioneers were like other pioneers rough, honest, hardy, strong in common-sense, but weak in the books. It was not a perfect organization, packed beforehand, with men fitted to all the stations of life, like Hooker and his band. But one pioneer came after another and notions, creeds, and prejudices, were all tumbled in together. Puddleford prospered, nevertheless. Every man was right upon the question of civil and religious liberty. Each person brought this law with him, written on his soul ; and, however SQUIRE LONGBOW, AGAIN 257 clumsily lie might give it expression, the law was there, and he could not rid himself of it any more than he could throw off his nature. If Longbow administered the details of jurisprudence awkwardly, Longbow was, after all, right in leading principles. If Longbow at times trampled down technicalities, the community, on the average, did not suffer. If Longbow even made a little law now and then, to fill a gap, it was well made, and the gap well filled. Longbow might as well have attempted to shave an elephant with a razor as to manage the raw recruits of early Puddleford with subtle distinctions ; and, besides, Longbow, as the reader has discovered, had no knowledge of that kind of instrument, nor was it necessary that he should have. Longbow s legal rules necessarily ran on a sliding-scale, and he fitted them to the case in hand, not to eases in general. The reader sees, then, a necessity for such men as Long bow in such a community. If it is impossible to find a man capable of preparing a technical set of legal papers, it is im portant to find a man who is incapable or unwilling to break them down. No man ever slipped through Longbow s fin gers upon a mere technicality. Again, Longbow s judicial duties were not expensive. An expensive judicial tribunal would have ruined Puddleford outright. Puddleford was not only obliged to use such tim ber as it had for public men, but the timber must also be cheap. Longbow was no mahogany judge, polished and wrought into scrolls, though there were a great many lines- and angles about him. He was a plain piece of green-ash, strong, yet elastic enough to bend when justice demanded. He was not an expensive article, and therefore the interest the public paid upon him was small. He would sit all day, amid the war and tumult of contending litigants, and breast the storm of insult that was heaped upon him, from the 258 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. right and the left, for four shillings and sixpence. I do not mean to say that he lacked self-respect no man respected himself more but he had, somehow or somewhere, im bibed the idea that pettifoggers were entitled to great lati tude of speech, and that lie was paid for listening to them. I have seen the Squire many a time passing through one of these conflicts, when his name was used very irreverently, holding as solemn a face as that worn by a marble statue of Solon. Longbow s annual income amounted to about two hundred S dollars a year, and this Puddleford could * stand. But he had many duties to perform outside of his office of magis trate, to insure him this amount. As I have said elsewhere, he was the grand Puddleford umpire, and, I am very certain, settled more difficulties as a man than a magistrate. School and highway districts and officers often got twisted in a snarl, and Longbow unravelled the knot right or wrong it matters not, he put a finish to the matter ; and, ivhetker right or wrong, reader^ what difference did it make so long- as no one else knew it, and every body had confidence ? If confidence will sustain a bank, ought not confidence to sus tain Squire Longbow ? And then A. s pigs broke into B. s garden A. s line-fence stood three feet on B. s land. A. swore there was a legal, lawful highway across B. s land ; B. swore it was no such tiling and he would shoot the first man who crossed it. A. &" called B. a thief, and B. called A. another. A. agreed to break up for B,, but never did, because B. refused to clear his land. A. and B. exchanged horses ; A. s horse had the heaves, and B. s was spavined ; and so on, trouble after trouble, how often and many in kind I cannot say, Squire Longbow has brought to a compromise. These were extra- WHAT IS GREATNESS ? 259 judicial services, and the two hundred dollars a year covered all, If it had been possible to place Chief Justice Marshall, or even a finished city lawyer, in the seat of Squire Longbow, how signally he must have foiled ! He would have been ut terly incompetent to the task, and would have burned his books, and fled from the settlement under cover of night. Confusion is often the best manager of confusion. A clean, clear, analytical mind might have flashed now and then, but it could never have governed the storm. While our finished lawyer was playing about a refined distinction, Longbow would bury all distinctions * ten fathoms deep, * and end all controversy by repeating some old saying, and dismiss the whole matter as summarily as the adjournment of a cause. Longbow was not only a good man, a cheap man, but he was a great man. Greatness is relative, not absolute. I hope my friends do not intend to dispute the truth of this proposition ; because I have the documents to prove it, when officially called upon to do so. Great men are like figures on a thermometer some thermometers, it is true, are much longer, and contain a great many more figures than others. The only question any ambitious man cares to ask is, how many figures there are on the scale above his. The Puddle- ford thermometer was very short, dear reader, and Longbow s figure was the highest. Is not this fame ? Puddleford fame, say you ? Puddleford fame, indeed ! It will outlast, I will wager my old hat, the fame of nine tenths of the members of Congress, who have for the last ten years blown them selves hoarse making speeches to their outraged and indig nant constituency. Why, Longbow s name will be remem bered in Puddleford years after his death ; and how many names can you repeat of those who strutted through the last Congress, or ho\v many of the members for your own district 260 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. for the last thirty years ? Fame, indeed ! But I do not wish to quarrel about so fleeting a thing as fame, and I will, there fore, dismiss that subject. The politics of Puddleford were a little ridiculous ; but Turtle s political fun was used by him as a means to carry out an end. Turtle s patriotism and Turtle s principles were beyond suspicion. Reader, there is no spot of American soil more truly patriotic than Puddleford. There are no great depositories no central heart in this country, from which American principles flow ; every man is a centre a law unto himself. Ike Turtle was a centre. He was a kind of political wheel ; ran on his own axis ; borrowed no propel ling power from abroad, but kept himself whirling with the spirit of 76, of which he had always a large supply on hand. He reminded me of a fire-wheel, used on celebration days, he cast off so many colored lights ; now he whizzed ; then he banged; now he shot forth stars; then spears of flame; but he was still a wheel, and always set himself in motion to some purpose. What shall I say of the theology of Puddleford ? I have already alluded to it in the pages of this work. Permit me to say more. Creeds travel with men wherever they go. Creeds often colonize the wilderness ; they have nerved more hearts, stirred and sustained more souls, scattered more civi lization, than any or all other agents. But Puddleford was not settled by any particular idea, civil or religious ; yet the Puddlefordians brought with them a great many ideas, both civil and religious. They were, however, incidental, not pri mary. The religious exercises of the country were like its people, ardent, strong, fiery, and often tempestuous. Bige- low Van Slyck was an embodiment of Puddleford theology. He did not argue doctrine, for two reasons : he did not know how, and he would not if he could ; but, to use hia rUDDLEFORD RELIGION. 261 own language, he took sin by the horns, and held it by main force. A quiet religion with a Puddlefordian was synonomous with no religion. Religion with him was something to be seen, to touch, to handle. Puddleford religion was often very noisy, and it manifested itself in many ways. We used to have an outburst at camp-meeting, which was held once in each year by the prevailing sect in the country. A camp- meeting ! The reader has attended a camp-meeting, I know ; but we had the genuine kind. Puddleford was depopulated on such occasions; and its inhabitants, supplied with the ne cessaries of life and a tent, went forth into the wilderness to give a high tone to their piety. They wanted air, and space, and time. All this was characteristic, and was like the peo ple. What would they have done inside a temple of spring- ino- arches and fretted dome of statues, looking coldly O down from their niches of pictured saints where organ anthems rolled and trembled ? What to them were the re finements of religious exercises ? The wild wood was their temple not made with hands, columned, and curtained, and festooned, and lit up by the sun at day, and the stars at night ; and here, in this temple, day after day, the people camped ; in the more immediate presence of the Most High built their watch-fires, that sent up long streams of smoke over the green canopy that sheltered them, and knelt down to pray. The theology of Puddleford was brought out in strong re lief at these meetings. They were business gatherings. The trials and crosses of every member were freely canvassed, and consolation administered. The inner life of each indiyid- ual was thoroughly dissected the spiritual condition of the vineyard in general carefully examined ; sermons preached strong enough, both in voice and expression, to raise the 2G2 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. dead ; money was collected for benevolent purpose , *id many more duties performed, which I cannot stop to men tion. The reader sees that these men and women were laying the foundation-timbers of many sects that must follow them follow them with their houses of worship, their intelli gence, their refinement, and, I may say, their theological ab stractions, their shadows, and shades, and points of distinc tion. Who is there that could do Bigelow s work better than he ? Who is there that will ever toil and sweat more hours in his Master s vineyard ? And to whom will the pos terity of Puddleford be more indebted ? But, to drop the leading characters of Puddleford, let us go down a while among the rank and file ; let us examine their condition. And here I may get into trouble. Com parisons are said to be odious. I do not know who said it, nor do I care ; the motive which one has in view must de termine the truth of the remark. There was a vast deal of happiness in Puddleford. I do not now remember one ner vous woman in the place. Think of that. If refinement brings its joys, it often covers a delicate, sensitive nature ; but there was nobody delicate or sensitive at Puddleford ; nobody went into fits because a rat crossed the floor, or a spider swung itself down in their way. The evening air was never too damp, nor the morning sun too oppressive. Labor made the people hardy, and an over-taxed brain hatched no bugbears. I verily believe the nightmare was never known. There were no persons tired of time not that they had so much to do but they were all contented with time and things as they were. You have discovered that there was no society in Puddle- ford ; and when I say SOCIETY, I do not mean that there was no social intercourse, but society organized and governed OTHER BLESSINGS. 263 by rules and regulations. Here was another blessing. Aunt Sonora never got into hysterics because Mrs. Beagles had not called on her for three weeks. Aunt Sonora would say, that Mrs. Beagles might stay to hum as long as she was a min-ter. Aunt Sonora never worked herself up into a frus tration because her gingerbread did n t rise when Squire Longbow took tea with her; but she just told the Squire, he d got-ter go it heavy, or go without, And then Aunt Sonora was under no obligation to make fashionable calls ; she was not a fashionable lady ; there was no fashion to call on. She did not go around and throw in a little very cold respect into her neighbor s parlor, because there were no parlors in Puddleford, and Aunt Sonora couldn t for. the life of her do a formal thing if there had been. If she wanted to blow out agin any one, to use her language, why, she blew out, and in their faces, too, because the rules of her so ciety had not taught her hypocrisy. There was another blessing: Puddlefordians were not continually tempted to covet some new thing of their neigh bors. A new bonnet now and then raised a breeze ; but no one was under any obligation to purchase a similar one. In other words, the laws of society did not dictate what one should wear. Aunt Sonora had worn her old plaid cloak for twenty years, and yet remained in society. Mrs. Bea gles Leghorn, which looked something like a corn-fan, and came into the country with her, was orthodox. Turtle had a pair of breeches, old enough in all conscience, the legs cut off above the knees, and turned, as he said, * hind side afore, to hide the holes in front, which pettifogged as well as when they were new. Squire Longbow wore the same clouded- blue stockings that he did when first elected magistrate ; but Mrs. Longbow had ravelled them up several times, and footed thorn over. I dislike, reader, to go into particulars, 264 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. and thus expose the wardrobe of the Puddlefordians, but I cannot express myself clearly on so important a point in any other way ; and I promised at the commencement of this sketch to make it philosophical. I do not know how the reader will look on the blessings which I have just enumerated. He may be a leader of fash ion ; the shade and tie of his neck-cloth may be as weighty and important a matter with him as his reputation, lie may be one of those who religiously believe that a man, at a party, without a white vest, is no gentleman, and ought forth with to be kicked, in a genteel way, headlong into the street. He may think it vulgar to laugh, and that no smile but a fashionable smile should be tolerated. He may, I say and may think me an . But just pause a moment. I am only writing the history of Puddleford, my friend ; and, besides, just sit down coolly, and think of the luxury there must be in sojourning at a place where one can wear his old clothes year in and year out, preserve public respect, and cut and turn his breeches at that ! The household furniture of the Puddlefordians was always in fashion : in fact, there was a remarkable uniformity in this respect in all the cabins in the settlement. The white- wood table, wooden chairs, the dozen cups and saucers, the cook-stove and its furniture, bed and bedding, comprised the stock of nearly every family. Turtle often said that the peo ple did n t have as much furniter as the law allow d em, and the State had got-ter make it up. It is discovered that this equality was productive of beneficial results. It was not possible for one Puddlefordian to envy another Puddleford- ian. There was no fancy hundred-dollar rocking-cha*ir ex hibited to throw any one into spasms ; there were no pianos bewitching the souls and purses of the community. (Reader, /have no spite against pianos.) Why, in short, there was ALMOST A BARGAIN 265 not any thing there that was not there when the pioneers first planted themselves on the soil. I recollect that Sile Bates owned a pinch-beck watch, and Squire Longbow was the proprietor of a bull s-eye, and they were both wonders. The Squire and Sile once attempted an exchange of these articles, and the transaction was so momentous that all Pud- dleford was kept in excitement for three weeks. The bar gain was as important and solemn as a treaty between two high contracting powers. There was one point in the trade that was positively exciting. Sile had offered five dollars to boot, payable in saw-logs, (no person paid money at Puddle- ford, unless by special agreement, fore witness, ) and here the parties hung fire for several days. Turtle said, the Squire orter to strike ; Beagles said, he d get skin d if he did ; Bulliphant said, the pinch-beck was worn out ; Aunt So- nora said, her husband telPd her, that a man telPd him, that he know d Longbow s bull s-eye forty years afore, and it could scase tick then ; and much more was said ; but, alas! the trade, to use Ike s language, fizzled out, and Pud- dleford settled down again into its usual tranquillity. The philosophy of this attempted bargain is clear enough. There was nothing in Puddleford to excite envy. What there was, was old ; no new thing was thrown in to tanta lize. Longbow, it is true, once ventured upon a carpet, but, us he was a magistrate, the enterprise was deemed very pro per. Do you not agree with me, that Puddleford had its blessings ? Does not poverty often bring healing on its wings ? How many are there in the world that would gladly flee from the chains of society, even to Puddleford, willing to fling themselves in some just such by-place of the world, where they could sit down perfectly independent, and take their own ease in their own inn ? How many, reader? I must not forget the chanty of the Puddlefordians. Cha- 12 266 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. rity and hospitality are distinguishing- characteristics of west ern people. However violent feuds might rage, suffering and want were relieved, so far as there was an ability to do it. I have seen another kind of charity, a fashionable article, used according to the laws of etiquette, and not according to the laws of heartfelt sympathy. I do not know that any person was ever neglected in Puddleford because he or she did not be long to a particular church. Mrs. A. never refused to assist Mrs. B. in sickness, because she and Mrs. B. did not visit, or because she did not know Mrs. B. (That word, do n t l knowj in finished society, simply means, reader, that the person holds no intercourse.) But every body did know every body in Puddleford ; and when one of the number was stricken down by affliction, the remainder all turned in, and * put their shoulders to the wheel. Why, bless you, reader, you ought to witness an eruption of Puddleford sympathy. You ought to see Aunt Sonora, with her apron loaded with bone- set, sage, and a pail filled with gruel, hurrying along * for dear life, to relieve the distressed Mrs. Swipes, with a lit tle mustard, or a bit of jel; Mrs. Beagles, Aunt Graves, and Sister Abigail, with something else. Is not this some thing ? I must, however, draw my Conclusion r to a close. Per mit me to do it gradually, as I have a word or two more to say, and I may never have another opportunity. The reader has, by this time, become quite intimate with the leading characters of Puddleford, and says, perhaps, A queer com pound. But do you know, reader, that Longbow, and Tur tle, snd I do not know how many more, trace their blood directly back to the Pilgrims ? It is * as true as fate. And how they have become so metamorphosed is the question. Puddleford stock was, much of it, Puritan stock. Those old stalwart heroes, whose hearts were a living coal ; whose wills, PILGRIM BLOOD ON A PILGRIMAGE. 267 granite ; whose home, Heaven ; who walked by faith, not. by sight ; before Avhose eyes moved * the cloud by day, and pillar of fire by night ; who heard voices all around them, such as haunted John on the Isle of Patmos, are the proge nitors of Longbow and Turtle. What a country is this of ours, to have worked such results ! But I learned, upon inquiry, that Longbow s blood had experienced a very serious pilgrimage since its departure from its New-England head. It had been mixed with Irish, and Scotch, and English, and German. In reality, the Squire was a kind of * compound of all nation*, as most Americans are. If it were possible to introduce Captain Standish, the military hero of 1620, or Bradford, or Winslow, to Squire Longbow, they would look as wildly at him as the boys did at poor Rip Van Winkle after his long sleep on the mount ain. I am sure they would not be able to detect any resem blance to the Mayflower. They would find the Squire a little the worse for wear ignorant in spiritual matters discover that his psalm-book was lost, and he as blind as a beetle in the New-England Catechism. But, after all, if they probed him deep, they would strike much, very much, of the old stuff, living and burning yet. The Squire s Pilgrim-blood, too, had filled nearly all occu pations in life. It had been a sailor the master of a ves sel a merchant fought in the Revolution a preacher once, and once a lawyer. These facts I procured from the Squire, for my special use, and they may be relied upon and now that same blood was doing service at Puddleford as a magistrate. Whether blood changes occupation, or oc cupation blood, is a physiological question that I do not in tend to debate. But that one can be surprised at any exhi bition of American character, after looking into the crosses and counter-crosses of blood, is marvellous. 268 PUDDLEFORD AND ITS PEOPLE. Here is a sample of Puddleford blood, and such is the blood of many western pioneers. How much the world is indebted to the pioneer ! He lays the foundation, let build who may. I regret the necessity of perpetrating a ridiculous figure, but I cannot help it : he plants deep the mud- sills of empire, amid toil, and sweat, and groans, pover ty and disease. The superstructure is always reared by other hands. The columns and capitals are the product of wealth and taste. How few of them reap the harvest, their cabins, now standing deserted and silent, and strewn thou sands of miles over the west and north-west, abundantly testify. The pioneer severs all connection between himself and the past when he enters upon his work. I have already remarked that Puddleford had no past. He breaks all local ties, and snaps in twain the golden threads that link him to his home. The caravan that winds away from the old hearth-stone, where the first kiss was imprinted, the first prayer offered, where the winter-cricket sang as the tempest roared without, and devotes itself to a wilderness, leaves behind what can never be found again. The bare-footed striplings who gam bol with it the immortal seed to be sown, and to sow from whose loins giants in thought, word, and action, will spring * may forget, and themselves become new centres of new associations but men and women never. What constitutes a man 1 a nation ? Inhabita; ,ts only ) The songs of a people stir them up to revolution and what are they but the glowing language of the associations of the soul ? What is Bannockburn to a savage ? A plain, over which the winds blow and the thistles gather. What to a Scotchman ? A living, breathing host ! What to the pio neer is the memory of that church-steeple, that flung its long shadow over his boyhood, around whose vane the swallows FAREWELL 269 whirled, and the evening sun lingered? that bell that swung high therein ? the torrent that roared through his early years, and wove its music into his very being ? the lone clift , where the cloud slept and the eagle rested ? These all are a part of the man himself; and when he is torn from them, his very nature receives a shock, and he has lost, he hardly knows how or where, a portion of his very existence. Reader, you and I must part. How I ever happened to write the history of Puddleford is more than I can say. I have more than once been frightened at my impudence. In all probability you will never hear of me again in print and, before we separate, reach me your hand (if it is a lady s, it is all the better) Good-by to you, my friend ; J and if you should stray into Puddleford, I will set apart an hour, and give you an introduction to Squire Longbow an honor to which, I am very sure, you cannot be insensible or indifferent. THE END < 14 DAY USE RETURN TO DESK FROM WHICH BORROWED LOAN DEPT * Renewed books are subject to immediate recall MOV 1 9 1356 OCT25T8 LD 21-100TO-6, 56 (B9311 S 10)476 .General Library University of California Berkeley LIBRARIES 833307 THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY