• BY 
 
 P^nstey 

 
 UBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNW 
 
 RIVERSIDE
 
 LOVE AMONG THE LIONS 
 
 ^P#
 
 COVE 
 
 A.MONG 
 
 A MATRIMONIAL EXPERIENCE 
 
 G 
 
 y 
 
 BY F. ANSTEY 
 AUTHOR OF "VICE VERSA," ETC. 
 
 LONDON 
 
 J. M. DENT & CO. 
 
 2Q & 30 BEDFORD STREET, W.C.
 
 0-7 79 
 
 ^^8 L
 
 List of Illustrations 
 
 The exquisite face looking out over the wire blind 
 
 ^neas Polkinghorne . . . . 
 
 Still I persevered . . . . . 
 
 The Introduction of Mr Blenkinsop to Miss 
 Lurana de Castro .... 
 
 "And whom should I marry, Mr Blenkinsop? " . 
 
 " Let us be married in the Lion's Cage " . 
 
 " Ves, papa, we are a little late " 
 
 " First-rate idea of yours, Blenkinsop " . 
 
 "Well, if the lady's as game as she seems, and 
 the gentleman likewise, I don't see any 
 objection " . 
 
 We were still chatting when Laura returned 
 
 A Cleric of the broad-minded school 
 
 " If you go on like that I shall begin to thinl- 
 you want to frighten me " 
 
 Mademoiselle 
 
 Page 
 4 
 
 5 
 
 9 
 
 12 
 
 i8 
 
 26 
 
 33 
 
 41 
 43 
 SI 
 
 55 
 63
 
 VI 
 
 List of Illustrations 
 
 " A De Castro can never marry a Craven " 
 
 " If them two got together, there'd be the doose': 
 delight" .... 
 
 I was forlornly mopping when Niono returned 
 
 My wedding toilette was complete 
 
 It's a swindle .... 
 
 A kind of small procession entered the arena 
 
 Then he addressed the audience . 
 
 " If only you had been firmer, Theodore " 
 
 Page 
 73 
 
 79 
 82 
 
 87 
 91 
 95 
 
 lOI 
 
 "3
 
 Love among the Lions 
 
 PART I 
 
 In the following pages will be found the 
 only authentic account of an affair which 
 provided London, and indeed all England, 
 with material for speculation and excite- 
 ment for a period of at least nine days. 
 
 So many inaccurate versions have been 
 circulated, so many ill-natured and unjust 
 aspersions have been freely cast, that it 
 seemed advisable for the sake of those 
 principally concerned to make a plain un- 
 varnished statement of the actual facts. 
 And when I mention that I who write this 
 am the Theodore Blenkinsop whose name 
 was, not long since, as familiar in the public 
 mouth as household words, I venture to 
 think that I shall at once recall the matter 
 to the shortest memory, and establish my
 
 2 Love among the Lions 
 
 right to speak with authority on the 
 subject. 
 
 At the time I refer to I was — and for 
 the matter of that still am — employed at 
 a lucrative salary as taster to a well-known 
 firm of tea-merchants in the City. I occu- 
 pied furnished apartments, a sitting-room 
 and bedroom, over a dairy establishment 
 in Tadmor Terrace, near Baalbec Road, in 
 the pleasant and salubrious district of 
 Highbury. 
 
 Arrived at the age of twenty-eight, I 
 was still a bachelor and had felt no serious 
 inclination to change my condition until 
 the memorable afternoon on which the 
 universe became transformed for me in the 
 course of a quiet stroll round Canonbury 
 Square. 
 
 For the information of those who may 
 be unacquainted with it, I may state that 
 Canonbury Square is in Islington ; the 
 houses, though undeniably dingy as to 
 their exteriors, are highly respectable, 
 and mostly tenanted by members of 
 the medical, musical, or scholastic profes-
 
 A Matrimonial Experience -7 
 
 sions ; some have balconies and verandahs 
 which make it difficult to believe that one 
 has not met them, like their occupiers, at 
 some watering place in the summer. 
 
 The square is divided into two by a 
 road on which frequent tramcars run to 
 the City, and the two central enclosures 
 are neatly laid out with gravelled paths 
 and garden seats ; in the one there is 
 a dovecot, in the other there are large 
 terra-cotta oil-jars, bringing recollections 
 of the Arabian Nights and the devoted 
 Morgiana. 
 
 All this, I know, is not strictly to the 
 point, but I am anxious to make it clear 
 that the locality, though not perhaps a 
 chosen haunt of Rank and Fashion, 
 possesses compensations of its own. 
 
 Strolling round Canonbury Square, 
 then, I happened to glance at a certain 
 ground floor window in which an art-pot, 
 in the form of a chipped egg hanging in 
 gilded chains and enamelled shrimp-pink, 
 gave a note of femininity that softened the 
 dusty severity of a wire blind.
 
 Love among the Lions 
 
 Under the chipped egg, and above the 
 top of the blind, gazing out with an air 
 of Hstless disdain and utter weariness, was 
 a lovely vivid face, which, with its hint 
 of pent-up passion and tropical languor, 
 
 I mentally likened 
 to a pomegranate 
 flower ; not that I 
 have ever seen a 
 pomegranate 
 flower, though I 
 am more familiar 
 with the fruit — 
 which, to my pal- 
 ate, has too much 
 the flavour of fire- 
 wood to be wholly 
 agreeable — but 
 somehow it seemed the only appropriate 
 comparison. 
 
 After that, few days passed on which 
 I did not saunter at least once round 
 the square, and several times I was 
 rewarded by the sight of that same 
 exquisite face, looking out over the wire 
 
 The exquisite face looking out over 
 the wire blind.
 
 t."l.l~5 
 
 ^neas Polkinghorne.
 
 6 Love among the Lions 
 
 blind, always with the same look of in- 
 tense boredom and haughty resentment 
 of her surroundings — a kind of modern 
 Mariana, with an area to represent the 
 moat, 
 
 I was hopelessly in love from the very 
 first ; I thought of nothing but how to 
 obtain admission to her presence ; as time 
 went on, I fancied that when I passed 
 there was a gleam of recognition, of half- 
 awakened interest in her long-lashed eyes, 
 but it was difficult to be certain. On the 
 railing by the door was a large brass plate, 
 on which was engraved: "^neas Polking- 
 horne, Professor of Elocution. Prospectus 
 within." So I knew the name of my 
 divinity. I can give no greater indication 
 of the extent of my passion, even at this 
 stage, than by saying that I found this 
 surname musical, and lingered over each 
 syllable with delight. 
 
 But that brought me no nearer to 
 her, and at last a plan occurred to me 
 by which the abyss of the area that 
 separated us might possibly be bridged
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 7 
 
 over. Nothing could be simpler than my 
 device — and yet there was an audacity 
 about it that rather startled me at first. 
 It was this : the brass plate said " Pro- 
 spectus within." Very well, all I had to 
 do was to knock boldly and ask for one, 
 which, after some natural hesitation, I did. 
 Any wild hope of obtaining an inter- 
 view with Miss Polkinghorne was doomed 
 to instant disappointment. I was received 
 by the Professor himself, a tall, stout, 
 flabby person, with sandy hair combed 
 back over his brow and worn long behind, 
 who showed a most sympathetic interest 
 in me, inquiring whether I wished to be 
 prepared for the Church, the Stage, or 
 the Bar, or whether I had any idea of 
 entering Parliament. I fear I allowed 
 him to suppose the latter, although I 
 am about as likely to get into Parliament 
 as into an imperial pint measure ; but I 
 had to say something to account for my 
 visit, and the tea-trade does not call for 
 much in the way of oratorical skill from 
 its votaries.
 
 8 Love among the Lions 
 
 Our interview was brief, but I came 
 away, not only with a prospectus, but 
 with tickets, for which I paid cash, en- 
 tithng me to a course of six lessons in 
 elocution. 
 
 This was rather more than I had 
 calculated upon — but, at least, it gave 
 me the entree to the house, and it might 
 lead to something more. 
 
 It did not seem as if it was going to 
 lead to much ; the Professor's method of 
 teaching was peculiar : he would post me 
 in a study at the back of the house, where 
 I was instructed to declaim some cele- 
 brated oration at the top of my voice 
 while he retired upstairs to discover how 
 far my voice would carry. 
 
 After twenty minutes or so he would 
 return with the information, which I have 
 no reason to disbelieve, that he had not 
 heard a single word above the first 
 landing. 
 
 Still I persevered, sustained by the 
 thought that, when I was delivering the 
 oration of Brutus over Caesar, or the
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 
 
 famous passage about the Queen of 
 France and the " ten thousand swords 
 leaping from their scabbards," my words 
 might perchance reach Miss Polking- 
 horne's ear and ex- 
 cite in her a passing 
 emotion. 
 
 But I came to the 
 end of my tickets and 
 still I was as far as 
 ever from my goal, 
 while the exertion 
 of shouting had ren- 
 dered me painfully 
 husky. 
 
 Yet I would not 
 give in ; I set myself 
 to gain the Pro- 
 fessor's good opin- 
 ion ; I took more 
 tickets. It was not 
 till after I had run through these that I 
 ascertained, by an apparently careless 
 inquiry, that there was no such person 
 as Miss Polkinghorne — the Professor 
 
 Still 1 persevered.
 
 lo Love among the Lions 
 
 was a widower and had never had a 
 daughter ! 
 
 The thought that I had wasted so much 
 time and money for nothing was bitter at 
 first, and I very nearly decided to dis- 
 continue my studies there and then. But 
 I conquered my feelings. Though the 
 Professor was no relation to this young 
 lady, he must know her name, he must 
 be able to give me some information 
 about her ; a little judicious pumping 
 might render him communicative. 
 
 " My dear Sir," he said, after I had 
 been beating about the bush for some 
 time with cautious delicacy, " 1 think 
 I understand. You are anxious to make 
 this young lady's acquaintance with a 
 view to paying your addresses to her? 
 Is not that so?" 
 
 I confessed that he had managed to 
 penetrate my motives, though I could 
 not imagine how. 
 
 "You will not be the first who has 
 sought to win Lurana's affections," he 
 said ; " more than one of my pupils —
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 1 1 
 
 but the child is ambitious, difficult to 
 please. Unfortunately, this is your final 
 lesson — otherwise I might, after prepar- 
 ing the ground, so to say, have presented 
 you to her, and I daresay she would have 
 been pleased to give you a cup of tea 
 occasionally after your labours. Indeed, 
 as Miss Lurana de Castro's stepfather, I 
 can answer for that — however, since our 
 acquaintance unhappily ceases here " 
 
 It did not cease there ; I took another 
 dozen tickets at once, and if even 
 Polkinghorne had sounded sweetly to 
 my enamoured ear, you may conceive 
 what enchanting melody lay in a name 
 so romantic and so euphonious as Lurana 
 de Castro. 
 
 The Professor was as good as his 
 word ; at the end of the very next 
 lesson I was invited to follow him to 
 the drawing-room, where I found the 
 owner of the brilliant face that had so 
 possessed me seated at her tea-table. 
 
 She gave me a cup of tea, and I can 
 pay her witchery no higher compliment
 
 12 
 
 Love among the Lions 
 
 when I state that it seemed to me as 
 nectar, even though my trained palate 
 detected in it an inartistic and incon- 
 gruous blend of broken teas, utterly 
 
 The Introduction of Mr Blenkinsop to Miss Lurana de Castro. 
 
 without either style or quality. I am 
 not sure that I did not ask for another. 
 She was astonishingly lovely ; her 
 Spanish descent was apparent in her 
 magnificent black tresses, lustrous eyes, 
 and oval face of olive tinted with richest
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 13 
 
 carmine. As I afterwards learnt, she 
 was the daughter of a Spanish Govern- 
 ment official of an ancient Castilian family, 
 who had left his widow in such straitened 
 circumstances that she was compelled to 
 support herself by exhibiting performing 
 mice and canaries at juvenile parties, 
 until she met and married the Professor, 
 who at that time was delivering recita- 
 tions illustrated by an oxy - hydrogen 
 lantern. 
 
 The second marriage had not been 
 altogether a success, and, now that the 
 Professor was a widower, I fancy that 
 his relations with his imperious step- 
 daughter were not invariably of the 
 most cordial nature, and that he would 
 have been grateful to any one who 
 succeeded in winning her hand and 
 freeing him from her sway. 
 
 I did not know that then, however, 
 though I was struck by the deferential 
 politeness of his manner towards her, and 
 the alacrity with which, after he had re- 
 freshed himself, he shuffled out of the
 
 14 Love among the Lions 
 
 room, leaving Lurana to entertain me 
 single-handed. 
 
 That first evening with her was not 
 unmixed joy. I had the consciousness of 
 being on trial. I knew that many had 
 been tried and found wanting before me. 
 Lurana's attitude was languid, indifferent, 
 almost disdainful, and when I went away 
 I had a forlorn conviction that I should 
 never again be asked to tea with her, and 
 that the last series of tickets represented 
 money absolutely thrown away ! 
 
 And yet I zvas asked again — ^not only 
 once, but many times, which was favour- 
 able as far as it went, for I felt tolerably 
 certain that the Professor would never 
 have ventured to bring me a second time 
 into his daughter's presence, unless he 
 had been distinctly given to understand 
 that my society was very far from dis- 
 tasteful to her. 
 
 As I grew to know her better, I learnt 
 the secret of her listlessness and discon- 
 tent with life. She was tormented by the 
 unbounded ambitions and the distinct
 
 A Matrimonicil Experience 15 
 
 limitations which embitter existence for 
 so many young girls of our day. 
 
 The admiration which her beauty 
 excited gave her little satisfaction ; such 
 social success as Highbury or Canonbury 
 could offer left her cold and unmoved. 
 She was pining for some distinction which 
 should travel beyond her own narrow 
 little world, and there did not seem to be 
 any obvious way of attaining it. She 
 would not have minded being a popular 
 author or artist — only she could find 
 nothing worth writing about, and she did 
 not know how to draw ; she would have 
 loved to be a great actress — but unfortun- 
 ately she had never been able to commit 
 the shortest part to memory, and the pride 
 of a de Castro forbade her to accept any- 
 thing but leading roles. 
 
 No wonder that she was devoured by 
 dulness, or that there were moments when 
 she beat her pinions like some captive 
 wild bird against the cage of her own 
 incompetence. Even I, although fairly 
 content with my lot, would sometimes flap
 
 1 6 Love among the Lions 
 
 my own wings, so to speak, from sheer 
 sympathy. 
 
 " It's maddening to be a nobody ! " she 
 would declare, as she threw herself petu- 
 lantly back in her chair, with her arms 
 raised behind her and her interlaced 
 fingers forming a charming cradle for her 
 head — a favourite attitude of hers. "It 
 does seem so stupid not to be celebrated 
 when almost everybody is ! And to 
 think that I have a friend like Ruth 
 Rakestraw, who knows ever so many 
 editors and people, and could make me 
 famous with a few strokes of the pen — 
 if only I did something to give her the 
 chance. But I never do I " 
 
 Miss Rakestraw, I should explain, was 
 an enterprising young lady journalist, who 
 contributed society news and " on dits " 
 to the leading Islington and Holloway 
 journals, and was understood to have had 
 " leaderettes " and "turnovers" accepted by 
 periodicals of even greater importance. 
 
 "If only," Lurana burst out on one of 
 these occasions, " if only I could do some-
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 17 
 
 thing once which would get my name 
 into all the papers, set everybody think- 
 ing of me, talking of me, staring after 
 me wherever I went, make editors write 
 for my photograph, and interviewers beg 
 for my biography, I think I should be 
 content." 
 
 I made the remark, which was true but 
 not perhaps startling in its originality, that 
 fame of this kind was apt to be of brief 
 duration. 
 
 " What should I care ? " she cried ; " I 
 should have had it. I could keep the 
 cuttings ; they would always be there to 
 remind me that once at least — but what's 
 the use of talking ? I shall never see 
 my name in all the papers. I know I 
 shan't!" 
 
 " There is a way ! " I ventured to ob- 
 serve ; " you might have your name in 
 all the papers, if you married." 
 
 " As if I meant that ! " she said, with 
 a deliciously contemptuous pout. " And 
 whom should I marry, if you please, Mr 
 Blenkinsop ? " 
 
 B
 
 i8 
 
 Love among the Lions 
 
 " You might marry me ! " I suggested 
 humbly. 
 
 " You ! " she retorted. " How would 
 that make me a celebrity. You are not 
 even one yourself." 
 
 " I do not care to boast," I said, " but 
 
 "And whom should I marry, Mr Blenkinsop?" 
 
 it is the simple fact that nobody in the 
 entire tea-trade has a palate approaching 
 mine for keenness and delicacy. Ask any 
 one and they will tell you the same." 
 
 " You may be the best tea-taster in the 
 world," she said, " but the purity of your 
 palate will never gain you a paragraph in 
 a single society paper. And even if it
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 19 
 
 did, what should / gain ? At the best a 
 reflected glory. I want to be a somebody 
 myself!" 
 
 " What's the use of trying to make 
 ourselves what we are not ? " I broke 
 out. "If Fate has made us wooden nine- 
 pins in the world's nursery, we may batter 
 our head against the walls as much as we 
 like- — but we can never batter it into a 
 profile ! " 
 
 I thought this rather neatly put myself, 
 but it did not appeal to Miss de Castro, 
 who retorted with some asperity that I 
 was the best judge of the material of 
 my own head, but hers, at least, was not 
 wooden, while she had hitherto been 
 under the impression that it already 
 possessed a profile — such as it was. 
 
 She could not be brought to under- 
 stand that I was merely employing a 
 metaphor, and for the remainder of the 
 evening her demeanour was so crushingly 
 chilling, that I left in the lowest spirits, 
 persuaded that my unlucky tongue had 
 estranged me from Lurana for ever.
 
 20 Love among the Lions 
 
 For some time I avoided Canonbury 
 Square altogether, for I felt unequal to 
 facing an elocution lesson unrecompensed 
 by tea with Miss de Castro, and the half- 
 hour or more of delightful solitude a deux 
 which followed the meal — for it had never 
 occurred to the Professor to provide his 
 stepdaughter with a chaperon. 
 
 At last, when on the verge of despair, 
 hope returned in the form of a little note 
 from Lurana, asking whether I was dead, 
 and inviting me, if still in existence, to 
 join a small party to visit the World's 
 Fair at the Agricultural Hall the next 
 evening, and return to supper afterwards 
 at Canonbury Square, an invitation which, 
 need I say, I joyfully accepted. 
 
 We were only four ; Miss Rakestraw 
 and her fiance, a smart young solicitor's 
 clerk, of the name of Archibald Chuck, 
 whose employer had lately presented 
 him with his articles ; myself, and 
 Lurana. The Professor was unable 
 to accompany us, having an engage- 
 ment to read " Hiawatha " to a Young
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 2 1 
 
 Men's Mutual Improvement Society that 
 
 evenmg. 
 
 Part of the hall was taken up by various 
 side-shows, shooting-galleries, and steam 
 merry-go-rounds, which produced a dis- 
 cordant and deafening din until a certain 
 hour of the evening, when the noises sub- 
 sided, and Wooker and Sawkins' World- 
 renowned Circus gave a performance in 
 the arena, which occupied the centre. 
 
 Miss Rakestraw's connection with the 
 Press procured us free passes to the 
 reserved seats close to the ring ; my 
 chair was next to Lurana's, and she was 
 graciously pleased to ignore our recent 
 difference. The entertainment was of 
 the usual variety, I suppose ; but, to tell 
 the truth, I was so absorbed in the bliss 
 of being once more by her side and 
 watching her face, which looked more 
 dazzling than ever through the delicate 
 meshes of her veil, that I have the 
 vaguest recollection of the earlier items 
 of the programme. 
 
 Rut towards the close there came a
 
 22 Love among the Lions 
 
 performance which I have good reason 
 to remember. 
 
 An enormous elephant entered the 
 circle, drawing a trolley, upon which was 
 an iron cage containing forest-bred African 
 lions. After the electric globes had been 
 lowered, so as to illuminate the interior, 
 " Niono, the Lion King," a dapper, well- 
 made man, of very much my own height 
 and figure, so far as I could judge, went 
 into the cage and put the animals through 
 various exercises. Niono was succeeded by 
 Mile. Leonie, the "Circe of the Carnivora," 
 a pretty Frenchwoman, who, as it seemed 
 to me, surpassed him in coolness and 
 daring. There was nothing disagreeably 
 sensational about the exhibition ; all the 
 animals were evidently under perfect con- 
 trol ; the huge, black-maned lions leaped 
 through paper hoops and blazing circles 
 without the slightest loss of either temper 
 or dignity; the females followed obediently. ' 
 Only one lioness showed any disposition 
 to be offensive, and she did not venture 
 to go beyond yawning ostentatiously
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 23 
 
 whenever Mile. Leonie's eye was upon 
 her. 
 
 Altogether it was, as I remarked to 
 Lurana at the time, a wonderful instance 
 of the natural dominion of man over the 
 animal world. She enthusiastically com- 
 mended the symmetry of Mr Niono's 
 figure, which did not strike me as so very 
 much above the average ; and to pique 
 her, I expressed equal admiration for 
 Mile. Leonie, and was gratified to observe 
 unmistakable signs of jealousy on Lurana's 
 part. But we were both agreed that the 
 profession of lion-taming looked more 
 dangerous than it actually was, and 
 Archibald Chuck mentioned that some 
 townsman in the provinces had, for a 
 very trifling wager, entered a den of lions 
 in a travelling menagerie with perfect 
 impunity. Miss Rakestraw capped this 
 by a case from America, in which a 
 young couple had actually chosen a 
 lion's cage to be married in, though she 
 admitted that the story was possibly a 
 fabrication.
 
 24 Love among the Lions 
 
 I walked back with Lurana alone, as 
 we somehow lost sight of Mr Chuck and 
 his Jiancee in the crush going out, and on 
 the way home I could not refrain from 
 pleading my cause once more. I told 
 her how I had loved her at first sight, 
 and how many elocution lessons I had 
 endured for her sake ; I pointed out that 
 I was already receiving a salary sufficient 
 to maintain a wife in comfort, if not 
 luxury ; and that her married life could 
 hardly be more monotonous and uncon- 
 genial than her present existence. 
 
 She listened attentively, as if moved. 
 Presently she said, " Theodore, I will be 
 perfectly frank. I do like you ; I believe 
 I could even love you. But I have 
 Spanish blood in my veins. I could 
 never be satisfied with a humdrum con- 
 ventional marriage." 
 
 I was inexpressibly shocked. I had 
 no idea that her views were so emanci- 
 pated. 
 
 " Lurana," I said, " believe me, never 
 mind what the lady novelists say against
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 25 
 
 marriage ; it may have its disadvantages, 
 but, after all, as society is constituted " 
 
 " You don't understand," she said. " I 
 am not opposed to marriage — with a man 
 who is willing to make some concession, 
 some slight sacrifice, to gratify me. But 
 are you that khid of man, Theodore, I 
 wonder ? " 
 
 I saw that she was already begin- 
 ning to yield, " I would do anything 
 — anything in the world you bid me," 
 I cried, " if only you will be my wife, 
 Lurana." 
 
 " I should ask you to do nothing 
 that I am not perfectly prepared to do 
 myself," she said. " A temporary in- 
 convenience, a risk v/hich is the merest 
 trifle. Still, you may think it too much, 
 Theodore." 
 
 " Name it," I replied. " The oppor- 
 tunities which the tea trade affords for 
 the cultivation of heroism are rare ; but 
 there are few risks that I would shrink 
 from running with you." 
 
 "It is only this," she said. " I don't
 
 26 
 
 Love among the Lions 
 
 want a commonplace wedding. I want 
 one that will be talked about and make a 
 sensation. Will you let me be married 
 .• , in my own 
 
 way 
 
 ?" 
 
 I was rather 
 relieved by 
 what seemed 
 so moderate 
 a demand. 
 " Ce rtai nly, 
 darling," I 
 said ; " we will 
 be married in 
 Westminster 
 Abbey, by the 
 Archbishop of 
 Canterbury, if 
 you wish it, 
 
 " Let us be married in the Lion's Cage." and it Can be 
 
 arranged. What matter where or how 
 the ceremony take place, or what it 
 costs, provided it makes you mine for 
 ever ? " 
 
 " Then, Theodore," she said, pressing
 
 A Miitrimonial Experience 27 
 
 my arm impulsively with her slim fingers, 
 while the rays of a street lamp in the 
 square fell on her upturned face and 
 shining eyes, " let us be married at 
 the Agricultural Hall — in the Lions' 
 Cage 1 " 
 
 I confess to being considerably startled. 
 I had .expected something rather out of 
 the common, but nothing in the least like 
 this. 
 
 " In the lions' cage ! " I repeated, 
 blankly. " Wouldn't that be rather 
 smelly, Lurana ? And, besides, the men- 
 agerie people would never lend it for 
 such a purpose. Where would they put 
 the lions, you know ? " 
 
 " Why, the lions would be there, of 
 course," she said, " or else there'd be 
 nothing in it." 
 
 "If I aro to be married in a lion- 
 cage," I said, with a very feeble 
 attempt at levity, " I should very 
 much prefer that there was nothing in 
 it." 
 
 " Ah, you may laugh, Theodore ! " she
 
 28 Love among the Lions 
 
 said, " but, after all your professions, surely 
 you won't refuse the very first indulgence 
 I ask ! You may think it a mere whim, 
 a girlish caprice ; but understand this — I 
 am thoroughly in earnest about it. If 
 you are willing to marry me as I wish, 
 the wedding may be as soon as ever you 
 please. But if not, tell me so plainly, 
 and let us part for ever. Either I will 
 be married in my own way, or not at 
 all." 
 
 What could I do ? It was simply im- 
 possible to give her up now, the very 
 moment after she was won. And to lose 
 her for such a mere punctilio ; for, of 
 course, this condition of hers was too 
 fantastic to be practicable ; the Professor 
 would certainly refuse his consent to so 
 eccentric a ceremony ; Lurana herself 
 would probably realise before long the 
 absurdity of the idea. In the meantime, 
 as her acknowledged Jiance, I should have 
 the immense advantage of being on the 
 spot when she returned to a more reason- 
 able frame of mind.
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 29 
 
 So I gave way, and assured her that I 
 had no personal objection to lions, and 
 would as soon be married in their presence 
 as elsewhere, provided that we could obtain 
 the necessary permission ; and even if I 
 had thought this more probable than I 
 did, I believe — so potent was the witchery 
 of Lurana's voice and eyes — I should have 
 said precisely the same. 
 
 " Dearest Theodore ! " she murmured, 
 " I never really doubted you. I felt so 
 sure that you would be nice and sym- 
 pathetic about it. If we couldn't agree 
 about such a trifling thing as where we 
 are to be married, we should be unsuited 
 to one another, shouldn't we ? Now we 
 will just walk round the square once more, 
 and then go in and tell the others what 
 we have arranged." 
 
 They had sat down to supper when we 
 entered, and the Professor cast a glance 
 of keen inquiry through his spectacles at 
 us, over the cold beef and pickles with 
 which he was recruiting his energies after 
 " Hiawatha."
 
 30 Love among the Lions 
 
 " Yes, papa," said Lurana, calmly, " we 
 are a little late ; but Theodore has been 
 asking me to marry him, and I have said 
 I would." 
 
 There was an outburst of congratula- 
 tions from Miss Rakestraw and Chuck. 
 Old Polkinghorne thought fit to conceal 
 his joy under a cloak of stagey emotion. 
 " Well, well," he said, " it is Nature's law ; 
 the young birds spread their wings and 
 quit the warm nest, and the old ones are 
 left to sit and brood over the past. I can- 
 not blame you, child. As for you^ my 
 boy," he added, extending a flabby hand 
 to me, " all I can say is, there is no one 
 to whom I would so willingly surrender 
 her." 
 
 There was scarcely any one to whom, 
 in my opinion, he would not surrender her 
 with the utmost alacrity, for, as I have 
 already hinted, Lurana, with all her irre- 
 sistible fascination, had a temper of her 
 own, and was apt to make the parental 
 nest a trifle too warm for the elder bird 
 occasionally.
 
 Yes, papa, we are a little late.''
 
 32 Love among the Lions 
 
 " And when am I to lose my sun- 
 beam ? " he asked. " Not just yet ? " 
 
 " Theodore wishes to have the marriage 
 as soon as possible," said Lurana, " by 
 special licence." 
 
 " Have you settled where ? " inquired 
 Miss Rakestraw, with feminine interest in 
 such details. 
 
 " Well," said Lurana slowly, evidently 
 enjoying the effect she was producing, 
 " Theodore and I have quite made up 
 our minds to be married at the Menagerie 
 — in the den of lions." 
 
 " How splendid ! " exclaimed the lady 
 journalist. " It's never been done over 
 here. What a sensation it will make ! 
 I'll do a full descriptive report for all my 
 papers ! " 
 
 " That's what I call a real sporting way 
 of getting spliced," said Chuck. " Only 
 wish I'd thought of it myself before I 
 had our banns put up, Ruth. First-rate 
 idea of yours, Blenkinsop." 
 
 " Of course," I said, " if the Professor 
 thinks it in the least unsafe "
 
 '■-:i^. 
 
 " First-rate idea of yours, Blenkinsop.' 
 
 33
 
 34 Love among the Lions 
 
 " Oh, it's safe enough," put in Chuck, 
 who was a Httle too apt to volunteer his 
 opinion. " Why, we've seen the lions. 
 Professor ; they're as quiet as lambs. 
 And anyway, they'd have the lion-tamer 
 in with them, you know. TJiey'll be all 
 right ! " 
 
 " I think," said the Professor, " we may 
 disregard the danger ; but the expense — 
 have you thought what it will cost, Theo- 
 dore ? " 
 
 " I have not," I said, " not till you men- 
 tioned it. It will probably be enormous, 
 more than I could possibly afford — unless 
 you are ready to go halves ? " I concluded, 
 feeling perfectly certain that he was ready 
 to do nothing of the sort. 
 
 " But look here," said Chuck, " why 
 should it cost you anything? If you go 
 the right way about it, you ought to get 
 all your expenses paid by the circus, and a 
 share of the gate-money into the bargain." 
 
 " Oh, Mr Chuck ! " cried Lurana, " how 
 clever of you to think of that ! wasn't it, 
 Theodore ? "
 
 A Matrimonial Experience t,^ 
 
 I could have kicked Chuck, but I said 
 it was a stroke of positive genius. 
 
 " That's simple enough," he said. "The 
 rock / see ahead is getting the special 
 licence. You see, if you want to marry 
 anywhere else than in a certified place of 
 worship or a registr}' office, you must first 
 satisfy the Archbishop of Canterbury, or 
 the Surrogate, or whoever the old Josser 
 is at Doctors' Commons who looks after 
 these things, that it's a ' convenient place ' 
 within the Marriage Act of 1836. Now, 
 the point is, zcn'// a cage of lions strike 
 them as coming under that description ? " 
 
 If it should, the ecclesiastical notions 
 of convenience must be more than peculiar. 
 For the first time I realised what an able 
 fellow Chuck was. 
 
 "My dear Chuck!" I said, "what a 
 marvellous knowledge you have of law ! 
 You've hit the weak spot. It would be 
 perfectly hopeless to make such an applica- 
 tion. It's a pity, but we must give it up, 
 that's all — we must give it up." 
 
 " Then," said Lurana, " we must give
 
 36 Love among the Lions 
 
 up any marriage at all, for I certainly 
 don't intend to marry anywhere else." 
 
 " After all," said the irrepressible Chuck, 
 " all you need apply for is a licence to 
 marry in the Agricultural Hall ; they 
 won't want to know the exact spot. I 
 tell you what, you go and talk it over 
 with the circus people and fix the day, 
 and I'll go up to Doctors' Commons and 
 get round 'em somehow. You leave it to 
 me. 
 
 " Do you know," said the Professor, 
 beaming, " I really begin to think this 
 idea of yours can be carried out quite 
 comfortably after all, Theodore. It 
 certainly has the attraction of novelty, 
 besides being safe, and even, it may be, 
 remunerative. To a true lover, a lions' 
 cage may be as fit a temple of Hymen 
 as any other structure, and their roars 
 be gentle as the ring-dove's coo. Go 
 and see these people the first thing to- 
 morrow, and no doubt you will be able 
 to come to terms with them." 
 
 This I agreed to do, and Lurana in-
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 37 
 
 sisted on coming with me. Miss Rake- 
 straw was in ecstasies over our proposal, 
 and undertook to what she called " boom 
 the wedding for all it was worth " 
 in every paper with which she had any 
 connection, and with other more influ- 
 ential organs to which the possession of 
 such exclusive intelligence as hers would 
 procure her the entree. 
 
 By the end of the evening she had 
 completely turned Lurana's head, and 
 even I myself was not quite untouched 
 by the general enthusiasm. It seemed 
 to me that being married in a den of 
 lions might not be such bad fun after 
 all. 
 
 When I awoke next morning with the 
 dawning recollection of what I was in 
 for, the glamour had in a great measure 
 departed from the idea, which seemed to 
 me at best but a foolish piece of bravado. 
 It had been arranged that I should call 
 for Lurana immediately after breakfast, 
 and interview the circus proprietors on 
 my way to business, and I rather ex-
 
 38 Love among the Lions 
 
 pected to find that the night had borne 
 counsel to her as well as myself ; but 
 she was in exuberant spirits, and as keen 
 about the project as ever, so I thought it 
 better not to betray that my own ardour 
 had abated. 
 
 But what, after all, were we going to 
 request ? That these people should allow 
 their lions to be inconvenienced, quite 
 unnecessarily, by a wedding in their cage 
 between two perfect strangers who had all 
 London to choose from ! 
 
 I believed that they would decline to 
 entertain the suggestion for a moment, 
 and, if so, I could not blame them. I 
 felt that they would have both right and 
 reason on their side. 
 
 On arriving at the Hall, we inquired 
 for Mr Wooker or Mr Sawkins, and were 
 requested to wait, which we did in a 
 draughty passage smelling strongly of 
 stables, while loud snorting and wheezing 
 reached our ears from the arena, where 
 they seemed to be exercising the circus 
 stud.
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 39 
 
 At last we were told that Mr Sawkins 
 would see us (I don't know to this day 
 whether Mr Wooker had any real exist- 
 ence or not), and were shown up to his 
 office, which did not differ from any other 
 office, except that it had a gaudy circus 
 poster and a bill announcing the sale by 
 auction of some rival menagerie pinned 
 against the wall. As for Mr Sawkins, 
 he was a florid, jowly man, with the 
 remnants of his hair dyed and parted 
 down the middle, a kind of amalgam of 
 a country job-master and the dignified 
 person who bows customers into chairs 
 in a fashionable draper's establishment. 
 
 He heard Lurana, who acted as spokes- 
 woman, with magisterial gravity, and, to 
 my surprise, without appearing to regard 
 us as a pair of morbid maniacs. 
 
 " There's no denying," he said, " that 
 the thing would draw if properly billed, 
 always supposing, mind you, that it's 
 capable of being done at all. And the 
 only person able to give an opinion about 
 that is Mr Onion, the gentleman," he ex-
 
 40 Love among the Lions 
 
 plained, " who is our Lion King. He 
 spells his name ' Niono ' professionally, 
 which gives it more of an African flavour, 
 if you follow my meaning. I'll call down 
 the tube for him." 
 
 I awaited Mr Onion's arrival with im- 
 patience. He presently made his appear- 
 ance in a short-braided tunic, with black 
 lamb's wool round the collar and cuffs. 
 By daylight his countenance, though far 
 from ill-looking, was sallow and seamed ; 
 there was a glance of admiration in his 
 bold, dark eyes as they rested on Lurana's 
 spirited face. 
 
 " Well," he decided, after the case had 
 been explained to him, " if the lady's as 
 game as she seems, and the gentleman 
 likewise, / don't see any objection. Along 
 with me, there'll be no more danger than 
 if it was a cage of white mice — provided 
 you've the nerve for it." 
 
 Lurana said proudly that her own 
 mother had been an accomplished 
 animal trainer — she did not mention 
 the kind of animals — and that she
 
 " Well, if the lady's as game as she seems, and the gentle- 
 man likewise, I don't see any objection."
 
 42 Love among the Lions 
 
 herself was quite incapable of being 
 afraid of a lion. 
 
 " If you've got nerve," said Mr Niono, 
 " you're right enough, but you can't create 
 it ; it's a gift. Take me, I'm hardly ever 
 avi^ay from my animals. I get downright 
 impatient for every performance. But if 
 ever I got the feeling that I was afraid of 
 them lions or they weren't afraid o' me, 
 do you think I'd trust myself inside that 
 cage ? No fear ! They've left their marks 
 on me as it is — my ' trade marks,' as I 
 call 'em — see ! " and here he bared his 
 arm and exhibited some fearful scars ; 
 "but that's affection, that is." 
 
 He then offered to introduce us to his 
 pets, and I should have accompanied 
 Lurana to see the cage, only on the 
 way we met Mile. Leonie, to whom Mr 
 Sawkins presented me, and, naturally, I 
 was compelled to stop. She was a 
 piquant-looking woman, not quite in her 
 first youth, perhaps, but still attractive, 
 and with the indescribable, airy grace of 
 a Parisian, though I believe she came
 
 We were still chatting when Laura rcturncii.
 
 44 Love among the Lions 
 
 from Belgium. Mademoiselle was charmed 
 with our project, complimented me upon 
 my Britannic phlegm, and predicted that I 
 should find the little experience " all," as 
 she put it, " that there was of the most 
 agreeable," which I devoutly hoped would 
 be the case. 
 
 We were still chatting when Lurana 
 returned, enraptured with the lions, one 
 of whom had actually allowed her to 
 tickle him behind the ear. Niono testified 
 that her nerve, at all events, was beyond 
 question. She was anxious that I should 
 go and tickle the lion, too ; but this I 
 declined, being occupied in talking to 
 Mile. Leonie at the time. 
 
 " There's one thing," said Mr Sawkins 
 later, as we were discussing the arrange- 
 ments, " we shouldn't object to paying for 
 the special licence ; but where are you 
 going to find a parson to marry you ? 
 You must have a parson of so7ne sort, you 
 know." 
 
 Again Fate seemed to have interposed 
 an insurmountable barrier between us and
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 45 
 
 our desire. I had to admit that it would 
 be difficult, if not impossible, to find a 
 clergyman courageous enough to enter 
 the cage with us. 
 
 " Well, there's no call for him to be 
 inside of it," said Mr Niono, who was with 
 us, heart and soul, by this time. " In 
 fact, the lady and yourself are about as 
 many as I could undertake to be an- 
 swerable for. We could rig him up a 
 perch outside to read the service from, 
 comfortable." 
 
 Even so, I said, I was afraid that it 
 was hardly a service one could ask any 
 divine to perform. 
 
 " I know a party who'd jump at it," 
 said Mr Niono, who was full of resource. 
 " The Reverend Skipworth. You know 
 who I mean, Sawkins. Little chap in a 
 check suit and goggles I introduced to 
 you at the bar the other evening — always 
 dropping in, he is. He'd do it, just for 
 the lark of the thing. And he's a regular 
 professional, you know," he added for my 
 benefit, " though he don't sport a white
 
 4-6 Love among the Lions 
 
 choker in his off hours ; likes to go about 
 and see life for himself, and quite right. 
 You get the licence, sir, and I'll guarantee 
 that the Reverend Ninian Skipworth will 
 do the job for you." 
 
 So we left the hall, delighted, especially 
 Lurana, with the unexpected ease with 
 which our object had been attained. It 
 had seemed at first the wildest extrava- 
 gance, and now there was apparently 
 every prospect that Lurana and I would 
 really exchange our marriage vows in a 
 den of forest-bred lions, unless (which, 
 of course, was a possibility that had to 
 be taken into account) the ecclesiastical 
 authorities should refuse to grant a 
 special licence. 
 
 I was unable to apply in person at 
 Doctors' Commons, for Lurana insisted 
 that I should leave the whole matter in 
 Chuck's hands, but I impressed upon 
 him the necessity of absolute candour 
 with the officials. 
 
 Whether he told them all, whether 
 they were remiss in making full inquiry.
 
 A Miitrimonial Experience 47 
 
 or whether — as I would rather not 
 think — he intentionally deceived them, 
 I cannot say, but at all events he 
 came back triumphantly with the special 
 licence. 
 
 Wooker and Sawkins had fixed an 
 early date, and wished the wedding to 
 take place at night, so as to figure in 
 the evening programme, but the Surrogate, 
 or somebody at the office, had insisted 
 that it must be in the afternoon, which 
 would, of course, oblige Mr Sawkins to 
 introduce it at a matinee performance. 
 
 Miss Rakestraw proved herself a born 
 journalist. She placed her news at the 
 disposal of an enterprising evening journal, 
 whose bills that very same evening came 
 out with startling and alliterative head- 
 lines such as : 
 
 Love Laughs at Lions ! 
 
 Canonbury Couple to Marry in 
 Cageful of Carnivora. 
 
 and from that moment, as the reader will
 
 48 Love among the Lions 
 
 recollect, Lurana and I became public 
 characters. 
 
 There were portraits — quite unrecognis- 
 able — of us in several of the illustrated 
 weeklies, together with sketches of and 
 interviews with us both, contributed by 
 Miss Ruth's facile stylograph, and an 
 account of the Professor, contributed by 
 himself 
 
 As for the daily papers there was 
 scarcely one, from the Times downwards, 
 which did not contain a leader, a para- 
 graph, or a letter on the subject of our 
 contemplated wedding. Some denounced 
 me violently for foolhardy rashness, others 
 for the selfishness with which I was en- 
 couraging an impressionable girl to risk 
 her life to gratify my masculine vanity. 
 Several indignantly demanded whether 
 it was true that the Archbishop had 
 sanctioned such a scandalous abuse of 
 marriage rites, and if so, what the Home 
 Office were about ? 
 
 There was a risk that all this publicity 
 would end in the authorities being com-
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 49 
 
 pelled to interfere and countermand the 
 ceremony, and yet I cannot honestly say 
 that I disliked the fuss that was made 
 about it. In the City, to be sure, I had 
 to put up with a certain amount of chaff; 
 facetious inquiries as to whether I intended 
 to present the leonine bridesmaids with 
 bones or pieces of raw meat, and the 
 precise locality in which my w^ife and I 
 thought of spending our honeymoon. But 
 such badinage covered a very genuine 
 respect for my intrepidity, and I was 
 looked upon as a credit to the tea trade. 
 The appointed day was getting nearer 
 and nearer, and still — so wonderfully did 
 Fortune befriend us — the authorities gave 
 no sign of any intention to interfere. 
 Parliament had not yet reassembled, so 
 no one could rise and put a question in 
 the House to the Home Secretary, and 
 if Government officials ever read the 
 morning papers, it seemed that they did 
 not feel called upon to take cognisance 
 of anything they read there, unless com- 
 pelled to do so by pressure from without. 
 
 D
 
 so Love among the Lions 
 
 Nor did the Archbishop take any steps. 
 No doubt he may have been unaware of 
 the precise conditions under which the 
 ceremony was to be sanctioned, and the 
 same remark appHes to the Bishop of 
 London. It is true that their attention 
 was drawn to the facts by more than 
 one postcard, as I have reason to know. 
 But some people make a practice — and it 
 is not for me to condemn them — of taking 
 no notice of anonymous communications. 
 However, as the time drew on, I 
 thought it would be only proper on my 
 part to go and call upon the Reverend 
 Ninian Skipworth, the curate with whom 
 our energetic friend, Mr Niono, had now 
 made all the necessary arrangements, and 
 find out, quietly, what his state of mind 
 was. He might be wavering, in which 
 case I should have to strengthen his 
 resolution. Or he might not yet have 
 realised all the possible consequences of 
 his good nature, and if so, I should not 
 be acting fairly towards him if I did not 
 lay them before him, even though the
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 
 
 51 
 
 result should be that he withdrew from 
 his engagement. 
 
 Niono had given me his address, and 
 I looked in at the curate's unpretentious 
 lodgings one evening on m\' way home. 
 
 A Cleric of the broad- minded school. 
 
 I found him in, and as soon as he learnt 
 my name, he offered me whisky and 
 soda and a cigar with most unparsonical 
 joviality. 
 
 The Reverend Ninian, I found, was a 
 cleric of the broad-minded school which 
 scorns conventional restrictions ; he held
 
 52 Love among the Lions 
 
 that if the Church was to maintain its 
 influence, it must follow the trend of 
 modern progress, and neglect no op- 
 portunity of winning the hearts of the 
 people. He was only sorry, he told 
 me, that the prejudices of his Bishop 
 would prevent him from reading the 
 service inside the cage. 
 
 I replied gratefully that I was suffi- 
 ciently indebted to him as it was, since 
 if his connection with the affair reached 
 the episcopal ear, he would be in serious 
 danger of being suspended, even if he did 
 not receive some still heavier punishment. 
 
 " Oh, don't you bother about that ! " he 
 said, cheerily ; " it's awfully good of you 
 to trouble yourself on my account ; but if 
 the Bishop is such an old stick-in-the-mud 
 as to haul me up for a little thing like 
 this, I shall simply chuck up the Church 
 altogether, that's all ! In fact, I've almost 
 decided to do it in any case, for I believe 
 I could do more real good outside the 
 Establishment than in. And I admire 
 your pluck, my dear fellow, and your
 
 A Matrimonial Experience ^^ 
 
 manly straightforwardness in coming here 
 like this; and I'm hanged if I don't marry 
 you and chance the consequences, so don't 
 sdy another word about it." 
 
 I didn't, though I need not say I was 
 profoundly moved by the genuine sym- 
 pathy and assistance which our project 
 seemed to inspire in the most unexpected 
 quarters. 
 
 My one anxiety now was about Lurana. 
 Outwardly she appeared cheerful and 
 even gay, and thoroughly to enjoy her 
 position as the heroine of the hour ; but 
 how could I be sure that this was genuine 
 and not a highstrung hysterical self- 
 repression which would be succeeded by 
 a violent reaction, it might be in the 
 lions' cage itself? 
 
 From that at all hazards she must be 
 saved. Earnestly, seriously, I pointed 
 out how much would depend on her 
 maintaining perfect coolness and com- 
 posure during the ceremony, and implored 
 her, if she felt the slightest misgivings, 
 the smallest tendency to shrink in secret
 
 54 Love among the Lions 
 
 from the coming ordeal, not to allow any 
 false pride to close her lips. There was 
 still time, I reminded her. If on second 
 thoughts, she preferred to be married in 
 the old time-honoured way, instead of in 
 a Menagerie den, she had only to say so. 
 Her happiness and comfort were the chief 
 things to consider. 
 
 " Withdraw now, Theodore ? " she said, 
 " after announcing it in all the papers ! 
 Why, how could we ? " 
 
 " I would take all that upon myself," 
 I told her ; " I need only say that you 
 don't feel quite equal to facing lions." 
 
 " But I do, Theodore," she said, " the 
 dear, ducky, pussy- faced old things! Who 
 could possibly be afraid of lions — especi- 
 ally with Mr Niono to protect us ? " 
 
 "If you knew more about lions, Lurana," 
 I said, " you would know how liable they 
 are to sudden rages, and how little even 
 lion-tamers themselves — " 
 
 " If you go on like that, Theodore," she 
 said, " I shall begin to think that you 
 want to frighten me — and even that you
 
 " If you go on like that I shall begin to think you 
 want to frighten me."
 
 56 Love among the Lions 
 
 are just a little frightened yourself. But 
 I'm not to be frightened. I should not 
 be my mother's daughter if I had any 
 fear of animals. And once for all, you 
 will either marry me in the lions' cage or 
 not at all ! " 
 
 I saw that I should only be exposing 
 myself to further misunderstanding if I 
 pursued the subject. Lurana had that 
 quality of courage which springs from a 
 total lack of imagination ; she had never 
 seen a performing Hon ramp and roar, 
 and it was inconceivable to her that one 
 could ever indulge in such exercises. 
 Still less did she understand that there 
 is another type of courage, which sees all 
 the difficulties and dangers beforehand, 
 even exaggerated by distance, and yet 
 advances calmly and undauntedly to en- 
 counter them. My courage was of that 
 sort, and it is generally admitted that it 
 belongs to a far higher order than the 
 other. 
 
 Now that the die was cast I found 
 myself anticipating the eventful day with
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 57 
 
 philosophic equanimity. It was an un- 
 comfortable method of getting married, 
 no doubt, but after all, what man ever 
 was comfortable at his own wedding ? 
 
 And surely one crowded quarter-of-an- 
 hour (for it would certainly be crowded 
 in that cage) of glorious life would be 
 worth an age without Lurana — who was 
 not to be won by any other means.
 
 PART II 
 
 It was now the eve of my wedding-day, 
 and it was generall}' taken for granted 
 that Lurana and I would be allowed to 
 enter the lion -cage without opposition 
 from any quarter: 
 
 Whether we should find it as easy to 
 come out again was a point on which 
 opinions differed considerably, but the 
 majority must have been confident that 
 the ceremony would pass off without any 
 unpleasant interruption — for the rush to 
 obtain seats was tremendous. 
 
 I was just as tranquil and collected as 
 ever ; I could not detect that my valour 
 had " ullaged," as wine-merchants say, in 
 the slightest degree, though Lurana was 
 perpetually questioning me as to whether 
 I was sure I would not rather withdraw. 
 
 Of course, I indignantly repudiated the 
 
 59
 
 6o Love among the Lions 
 
 very idea, but it is well known that a 
 perfectly sober person, if suddenly taxed 
 with being drunk, will seem and even feel 
 so, and it is much the same with any 
 imputation of cowardice. 
 
 I began to think that constant tea 
 tasting, even though the infusions are 
 not actually swallowed, probably has some 
 subtle effect upon the nervous system, 
 and that it would . brace me up and also 
 show me how little cause I had to be 
 uneasy, if I dropped into the Agricultural 
 Hall once more and saw Niono put his 
 lions through their performances. 
 
 So I left the City early that afternoon 
 and paid for my admission to the hall 
 like an ordinary sightseer ; I did not ask 
 Lurana to accompany me, because I 
 knew she must have plenty to keep her 
 at home just then. 
 
 I was just in time for the performing 
 lions, and found a place in the outer 
 edge of the crowd ; it was strange to 
 stand there unrecognised and hear my- 
 self being freely discussed by all around ;
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 6i 
 
 strange and decidedly exhilarating, too, 
 to think that in another twenty - four 
 hours I should be, not a spectator of 
 what was to take place in that arena, 
 but one of the principal performers, the 
 centre of breathless interest, the hero of 
 the hour ! 
 
 But with the appearance of the cage, 
 this unnatural exhilaration suddenly died 
 down. It was not so much the lions, 
 though they struck me as larger and less 
 easy-tempered than on the first occasion, 
 while the lioness was as nearly in open 
 revolt as she dared. What troubled me 
 most was that the cage contained another 
 inmate, one whom I did not remember to 
 have seen before — a magnificent specimen 
 of the Bengal tiger. 
 
 It seemed perfectly clear to me that 
 the brute was only about half-trained ; 
 he went through his tricks in a sullen 
 perfunctory way, with a savage, snurring 
 snap every now and then, which, even at 
 that distance, made my flesh creep. 
 
 And, whenever he snapped, clouds of
 
 62 Love among the Lions 
 
 steam issued from his great jaws ; I could 
 see, too, that the lioness was secretly 
 egging him on to fresh acts of defiance, 
 and that he was only watching his oppor- 
 tunity to crouch and spring as soon as 
 Niono's back was turned. 
 
 I was perfectly determined that I would 
 not have that tiger at my wedding ; he 
 would never keep still for a moment ; he 
 would upset all the other animals, and 
 how could I be expected to remain cool 
 with a great, hot, steaming beast like that 
 at my elbow ? Why, he must raise the 
 temperature of that cage to the atmo- 
 sphere of a Turkish bath ! For Lurana's 
 sake as well as my own, I really must 
 draw the line at tigers — they were not 
 in the bond. 
 
 Another thing that annoyed me was 
 the senseless tomfoolery of the clowns, 
 who persisted in running after the cage 
 at the conclusion of the performance, and 
 teasing the poor defenceless animals by 
 making grimaces and dashing their ridicu- 
 lous conical hats against the bars. It was
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 
 
 63 
 
 painful to think that any one could be 
 found to smile at such cheap buffoonery 
 — if I had been the ring-master, I would 
 have given those cowardly idiots a taste 
 of the whip ! 
 
 I decided to go round afterwards and 
 see Onion about that 
 tiger. 
 
 I did not see the lion- 
 tamer, as he had just 
 left the hall, and Mr 
 Sawkins, I was told, 
 was engaged, but I saw 
 Mile. Leonie, who was 
 most friendly. 
 
 I remarked, carelessly, 
 that I saw they had put 
 a tiger into the cage. 
 
 Mademoiselle said he 
 was a member of the troupe, but had been 
 indisposed and temporarily transferred to 
 the hospital cage. 
 
 I hinted that a tiger, however con- 
 valescent, was hardly a desirable addition 
 to our wedding party. Mademoiselle was 
 
 c vf. 
 
 Mademoiselle.
 
 64 Love among the Lions 
 
 astounded ; a so gracious beast, a veritable 
 treasure, with him present, the ceremony- 
 would have a style, a cachet, an elegance. 
 Without him — ah ! bah ! it would be 
 triste — banal, tame ! 
 
 I admitted this, but urged that we 
 were quiet people who wanted to be 
 married as quietly as possible, and that 
 a tiger, for persons in our condition of 
 life, was a ridiculous piece of ostentation. 
 It was always better to begin as one 
 meant to go on. 
 
 She differed from me totally. I was 
 too modest, for, of course, it was incredible 
 that I, who was so full of sangfroid, could 
 object to the tiger for any other reason ? 
 
 " Personally," I replied, " I had no 
 prejudice against tigers whatever — but 
 Mademoiselle would understand that I 
 was bound to consider another person's 
 convenience." 
 
 " Not possible ! " exclaimed Mademoi- 
 selle, " a young lady with so much verve 
 to be timid ! Why, Mons. Onion raved 
 of her fearlessness ! "
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 6^ 
 
 I said it was not timidity in Lurana's 
 case — she merely happened to have an 
 antipathy for tigers. Some people, as 
 Mademoiselle was doubtless aware, were 
 unable to remain in the same room with 
 a cat ; Miss de Castro could not stay in 
 the same cage with a tiger — it was 
 temperament. 
 
 " Ah," said Mdlle. Hortense, " I under- 
 stand that. A sensitive ? " 
 
 " Yes," I said, " a sensitive." 
 
 " But Niono says she is one of us ! " 
 objected Mademoiselle, " that she was 
 brought up amongst animals — that her 
 mamma was herself an animal-tamer." 
 
 " Of white mice and canary birds," I 
 said, " but that is not quite the same 
 thing as tigers, and I am perfectly certain 
 that if that tiger is retained, the wedding 
 will not take place." 
 
 Her keen grey eyes flashed with 
 comprehension. Ah, the poor little one ! 
 in that case it was another thing. She 
 would speak to the " Patron " and to 
 Mons. Onion ; the tiger should not be 
 
 E
 
 66 Love among the Lions 
 
 permitted to trouble the fete. I could 
 rely absolutely upon her — he should be 
 accommodated elsewhere. 
 
 I went back to Lurana in a somewhat 
 relieved frame of mind, and when she 
 asked me where I had been, I mentioned, 
 perhaps unwisely, that I had dropped in 
 at the Circus and had a little chat with 
 Mile. Leonie. I did not say anything 
 about the tiger, because there seemed to 
 be no object in disturbing her, now that 
 the matter was comfortably settled, not to 
 mention that if Lurana had known I had 
 directed the removal of the tiger without 
 consulting her, she was quite self-willed 
 enough to insist on his immediate restora- 
 tion to the lion-cage. 
 
 Most girls would have been impressed 
 by my courage in going near the Circus 
 at all at such a time ; not so Lurana, who 
 pretended to believe that Mile. Leonie 
 was the attraction. 
 
 " Oh, I noticed she was making eyes 
 at you from the very beginning," she 
 declared ; " you had better marry her,
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 6^ 
 
 and then Mr Niono could marry me. I 
 daresay he would have no objection." 
 
 " My darling," I said, gently, " do not 
 let us quarrel the very last evening we 
 may spend together on earth." 
 
 " You might take a more cheerful view 
 of it than that, Theodore ! " she ex- 
 claimed. 
 
 " I think you are a little inclined to 
 treat it too lightly," I replied. " I have 
 been studying those lions, Lurana, and 
 it is my deliberate opinion that they are 
 in a condition of suppressed excitement 
 which will break out on the slightest 
 pretext. Unless you can trust yourself 
 to meet their gaze without faltering, with- 
 out so much as a flicker of the eyelid 
 you will, unless I am greatly mistaken, 
 stand a considerable chance of being torn 
 to pieces." 
 
 " Nonsense, Theodore ! " she said, " they 
 can't possibly tell whether I am meeting 
 their gaze or not, or even shutting my 
 eyes — for, of course, I shall be wearing a 
 veil."
 
 68 Love among the Lions 
 
 But / should not — and it really did not 
 seem fair. " I rather thought of putting 
 on a green shade myself," I said. It had 
 only just occurred to me. 
 
 " Don't be absurd, Theodore ! " she re- 
 plied. " What cajt you want with a 
 green shade ? " 
 
 " My eyes are not strong," I said, " and 
 with those electric lights so close to the 
 cage, I miglit blink or even close my eyes. 
 A green shade, like your bridal veil, would 
 conceal the act ! " 
 
 " As if anybody ever heard of a bride- 
 groom with a green shade over his eyes ! 
 I certainly will not enter that cage if I 
 am to be made publicly ridiculous ! " 
 
 " Do I understand," I said, very gravely, 
 " that you refuse to enter the lion-cage ? " 
 " With a man in a green shade ? Most 
 certainly I refuse. Not otherwise." 
 
 " Then you will sacrifice my life to 
 
 mere appearances ? Ah, Lurana, that is 
 
 only one more proof that vanity — not 
 
 love — has led you to this marriage ! " 
 
 " Why don't you own at once that
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 69 
 
 you'd give an}'thing to get out of it, 
 Theodore ? " 
 
 " It is you," I retorted, ^'' yoii, Lurana, 
 who are secretly dreading the ordeal, and 
 you are trying to throw the responsibility 
 of giving up the whole thing on me — it's 
 not fair, you know ! " 
 
 " / want to give up the whole thing ? 
 Theodore, you know that isn't true ! " 
 
 " Children, children ! " said the Professor, 
 who had been a silent and unnoticed 
 witness of our dispute till then, " What 
 is this talk about giving up the marriage ? 
 I implore you to consider the conse- 
 quences, if the wedding is broken off now 
 by your default. You will be mobbed 
 by a justly indignant crowd, which will 
 probably wreck the hall as a sign of 
 their displeasure. You are just now the 
 two most prominent and popular persons 
 in the United Kingdom — you will become 
 the objects of universal derision. You 
 will ruin that worthy and excellent man, 
 Mr Sawkins, offend Archibald Chuck, 
 and do irretrievable damage to Miss
 
 70 Love among the Lions 
 
 Rakestraw's prospects of success in 
 journalism. Of myself I say nothing, 
 though I may mention that the persons 
 who have paid me fancy prices for the 
 few seats which the management placed 
 at my disposition will infallibly demand 
 restitution and damages, I might even 
 be forced to recover them from you, 
 Theodore. On the other hand, by 
 merely facing a hardly appreciable danger 
 for a very few minutes, you cover your- 
 selves with undying glory, you gain rich 
 and handsome wedding gifts, which I 
 hear the proprietors intend to bestow 
 upon you ; you receive an ovation such 
 as is generally reserved for Royal 
 nuptials ; and yet you, Theodore, would 
 forfeit all this — for what ? For a green 
 shade, which would probably only serve 
 to infuriate the animals ? " 
 
 This had not struck me before, and I 
 could not help seeing that there was 
 something in it. 
 
 " I give up the shade," I said ; " but I 
 do think that Lurana is in such a nervous
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 71 
 
 and overstrung condition just now that it 
 is not safe for her to enter the cage with- 
 out a medical certificate." 
 
 Lurana laughed. "What for, Theodore? 
 To satisfy the lions ? Don't distress your- 
 self on my account — I am perfectly well. 
 At the appointed time I shall present 
 myself at the — the altar. If you are not 
 there to receive me, to stand by my side 
 in the sight of all, you lose me for ever. 
 A de Castro can never marry a Craven." 
 
 She looked so splendid as she said this 
 that I felt there was no peril in the world 
 that I would not face to gain her, that 
 life without her would be unendurable. 
 
 Since she was as resolved as ever on 
 this project, I must see it out, that was 
 all, and trust to luck to pull me through. 
 Onion would be there — and he understood 
 lions ; and, besides, there was always the 
 bare chance of the ceremony being stopped 
 at the eleventh hour. 
 
 I left early, knowing that I should 
 require a good night's rest, and Lurana 
 and I parted, on the understanding that
 
 72 Love among the Lions 
 
 our next meeting would be at the Agri- 
 cultural Hall on the following afternoon. 
 
 Whether it was due to a cup of coffee 
 I had taken at the Professor's, or to some 
 other cause, I do not know, but I had a 
 wretched night, sleeping very literally in 
 fits and starts, and feeling almost thankful 
 when it was time to get up. 
 
 A cold bath freshened me up wonder- 
 fully, and, as they naturally did not expect 
 me in the City on my wedding-day, I had 
 the whole morning to myself, and decided 
 to get through it by taking a brisk walk. 
 Before starting, I sent a bag containing 
 my wedding garments to the Agricultural 
 Hall, where a dressing room had been 
 reserved for me, and then I started, via 
 the Seven Sisters Road, for Finsbury Park. 
 
 As I passed an optician's shop, I 
 happened to see, hanging in the window, 
 several pairs of coloured spectacles, one of 
 which I went in and bought, and walked 
 on with a sense of reassurance. Through 
 the medium of such glasses a lion would 
 lose much of his terrors, and would, at the
 
 A De Castro can never many a Craven."
 
 74 Love among the Lions 
 
 same time, be unable to detect any want 
 of firmness in my gaze ; indeed, if a wild 
 beast can actually be dominated by a 
 human eye, how much more should he be 
 so when that eye is reinforced by a pair 
 of smoked spectacles ! 
 
 My recollection of the rest of that walk 
 is indistinct. I felt no distress, only a 
 kind of stupor. I tried to fix my thoughts 
 on Lurana, on her strange beauty, and the 
 wondrous fact that in a very few hours the 
 ceremony, which was to unite us, would 
 be, at all events, commenced. But at times 
 I had a pathetic sense of the irony which 
 decreed that I, a man of simple tastes 
 and unenterprising disposition, should have 
 fallen hopelessly in love with the only 
 young woman in the United Kingdom 
 capable of insisting on being married in a 
 wild-beast cage. 
 
 It seemed hard, and I remember envy- 
 ing quite ordinary persons — butchers, 
 hawkers, errand-boys, crossing-sweepers, 
 and the like, for their good fortune in not 
 being engaged to spend any part of that
 
 A Matrimonial Experience "] $ 
 
 afternoon in a den of forest-bred African 
 lions. 
 
 However, though there was nothing 
 about the intentions of the Home Office 
 in the early editions of the evening papers, 
 the officials viight be preparing a dramatic 
 coup for the last moment. I was deter- 
 mined not to count upon it — but the 
 thought of it kept me up until the time 
 when I had to think of returning, for the 
 idea of flight never for an instant pre- 
 sented itself to me. I was on parole as it 
 were, and I preferred death by Lurana's 
 side to dishonour and security without her. 
 
 So anxious was I not to be late, and 
 also to discover whether any communica- 
 tion from the Home Secretary had reached 
 the manager, that I almost hurried back 
 to Islington. I was admitted to the Hall 
 by a private entrance, and shown to the 
 kind of unroofed cabin in which I was to 
 change, and which, being under the balcony 
 and at some distance from the gangway 
 between the stables and the ring, was 
 comparatively private and secluded.
 
 76 Love among the Lions 
 
 Here, after asking an assistant to let 
 Mr Niono know I had arrived, and would 
 like to see him, I waited. The Circus 
 had begun, as I knew from the facts that 
 the blare of the orchestrions was hushed, 
 and that a brass band overhead began 
 and left off with the abruptness peculiar 
 to Circus music. 
 
 Screens of board and canvas hid the 
 auditorium from view, but I was conscious 
 of a vast multitude on the other side, 
 vociferous and in the best of humours. 
 
 Between the strains of the orchestra 
 and the rattling volleys of applause, I 
 heard the faint stamping and trampling 
 from the stables, and, a sound that struck 
 a chill to my heart — the prolonged roar 
 of exasperation and ennui which could 
 only proceed from a bored lion. 
 
 Then there was a rap at the door, 
 which made me start, and Niono burst in. 
 
 " So you've found your way here," he 
 said. " Feeling pretty fit ? That's the 
 ticket ! The bride ain't arrived yet, so 
 you've lots of time."
 
 A Miitriinonial Experience ']'] 
 
 " You've heard nothing from the Home 
 Office yet, I suppose ? " I asked. 
 
 " Not a word — and, between you and 
 me, I made sure they meant to crab the 
 show. You've the devil's own luck ! " 
 
 " I have, indeed," I said, with feeling. 
 " Still, we mustn't be too sure — they may 
 stop us yet ! " 
 
 " They may try it on — but our men 
 have got their instructions. If they did 
 come now, they wouldn't get near the 
 ring till it was all over, so don't you 
 worry yourself about that." 
 
 I said everything seemed to have been 
 admirably arranged. " By the way," I 
 added, " where have you put the tiger ? " 
 
 " Do you mean old Rajah ? " he said ; 
 and I replied that I did mean old Rajah, 
 
 " Why, /le's all right- — in the cage along 
 with the others — where did you suppose 
 he'd be — loose ? " 
 
 " I particularly requested," I explained, 
 " that he might be put somewhere else 
 during the wedding. Mademoiselle pro- 
 mised that it should be seen to."
 
 78 Love among the Lions 
 
 " It's nothing to do with Ma'amsell," he 
 said, huffily ; " she don't give orders here, 
 Ma'amsell don't." 
 
 " I mean, she promised to mention 
 the matter to you," I said, more diplo- 
 matically. 
 
 *' She never said nothing about it to 
 ;;/£?," he replied ; " I expect she forgot." 
 
 " I can only say it was extremely care- 
 less of her," I said. " The fact is, I have 
 my doubts whether that tiger is to be 
 trusted." 
 
 " Well, you never can trust a tiger same 
 as you can a lion," he replied, candidly, 
 " so I won't deceive you. But old 
 Rajah ain't so particular nasty — as tigers 
 
 go." 
 
 " He may not be," I said, " but, in Miss 
 
 de Castro's interests, I must beg you to 
 
 shift him into some other cage till this 
 
 affair is over. I can't allow her to run 
 
 any unnecessary risk." 
 
 " I don't say you're wrong," he answered, 
 
 " I wish I'd known before, I'd have asked 
 
 the gov'nor."
 
 T-...^^ 
 
 If them two got together, there'd be llie 
 doose's delight."
 
 8o Love among the Lions 
 
 " Ask him now," I urged, " surely you 
 can put the tiger back in the hospital cage 
 for an hour or two." 
 
 " The Jaguar's in there," he said ; " he 
 was a bit off colour, so we put him there 
 this morning. And if them two got 
 together, there'd be the doose's delight ! " 
 
 " Couldn't you put him somewhere else, 
 then ? " I suggested. 
 
 " I might ha' shunted him on to the 
 Armadillo at a pinch," he said thought- 
 fully, " Jie wouldn't ha' taken any notice, 
 but the gov'nor would have to be con- 
 sulted first, — and he's engaged in the ring. 
 Besides, it would take too much time to 
 move old Rajah now — you must put up 
 with him, that's all. You'll be right 
 enough if you keep your head and stick 
 close to me. I've taken care they've all 
 had a good dinner. I say," he broke off 
 suddenly, " you're looking uncommon 
 blue." 
 
 " I don't feel nervous," I said, " at least, 
 not more nervous than a man ought to 
 feel who's just about to be married. If
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 81 
 
 you mean to suggest that I'm going to 
 show the white feather ! " 
 
 " Not you," he said, " what would you 
 get by it, you know ? After billing this 
 affair all over the town, we can't afford to 
 disappoint the public, and if I saw you 
 hanging back — why I'm blest if I wouldn't 
 carr}' you into the cage myself" 
 
 I retorted angrily that I would not put 
 him to that inconvenience, that I was as 
 cool as he was, and that I did not under- 
 stand his remark that I was looking blue. 
 
 " Lord, what a touchy chap you are ! " 
 he cried ; " I meant looking blue about 
 the jaw, that's all. If I was you, I'd have 
 a clean shave. It's enough to put any 
 lady off if she sees you with a chin like 
 the barrel of a musical-box." 
 
 Somehow I had omitted to shave my- 
 self as usual that morning, intending to 
 get shaved later, but had forgotten to look 
 for a hairdresser's shop during my walk. 
 
 " You'll find a razor in that drawer," he 
 said, " if you don't mind making shift with 
 cold water, for there's no one about to 
 
 F
 
 82 
 
 Love among the Lions 
 
 fetch you any hot. Now I must be off 
 and get into my own togs. Make yourself 
 at home, you know. I'll give you -another 
 call later on." 
 
 Perhaps the razor was blunt, perhaps it 
 was the cold water, anyhow I inflicted a 
 
 gash on the ex- 
 treme point of 
 my chin which 
 bled profusely. 
 I dabbed and 
 sluiced, but no- 
 thing I could do 
 seemed to check 
 the flow ; it went 
 on, obstinate and 
 irrepressible. I 
 was still forlorn- 
 ly mopping when 
 Niono returned in his braided jacket, tights 
 and Hessian boots, whistling a tune. 
 
 " The bride's just driven up," he an- 
 nounced, " looking like a picture — what 
 pluck she's got ! I wish I was in your 
 shoes ! Ma'amsell's taken her to her 
 
 I was forlornly mopping when Niono 
 returned.
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 83 
 
 J 
 
 room. My word, though, you've given 
 yourself a nasty cut ; got an)- spider's 
 web about you ? Stops it in no time." 
 
 As I do not happen to go about 
 festooned in cobwebs, his suggestion was 
 of little practical value, and so I intimated 
 rather sharply. 
 
 " Well, don't get in a fluster," he said, 
 " we're only a couple of turns off the Cage 
 Act as it is ; you slip into them spicy 
 lavender trousers and that classy frock- 
 coat of yours as quick as you can, and 
 I'll try if I can't borrow a bit of court- 
 plaster off one of our ladies." 
 
 I had just put on a clean shirt when 
 he was back again ; " I could only get 
 goldbeater's skin," he remarked, " and 
 precious little of that, so be careful with 
 it. And the parson's come, and would 
 like to have a look at the licence." 
 
 I handed him the document, and tried 
 to apply the goldbeater's skin, which 
 curled and shrivelled, and would stick 
 to nothing but my fingers — and still the 
 haemorrhage continued.
 
 84 Love among the Lions 
 
 " It's all over your shirt now ! " said 
 the Hon-tamer, as if I was doing it on 
 purpose. " I wouldn't have had this 
 happen for something. Why, I've known 
 'em get excited with the smell of blood, 
 let alone the sight of it." 
 
 " Do you mean the lions ? " I inquired, 
 with a faint sick sensation. 
 
 " Well, it was the tiger my mind was 
 
 running on more," was his gloomy reply. 
 
 My own mind began to run on the 
 
 tiger too, and a most unpleasant form of 
 
 mental exercise it was. 
 
 " After all," said Niono with an optim- 
 ism that sounded a trifle forced, " there's 
 no saying. He viaynt spot it. None of 
 'em mayn't." 
 
 "But what do you think yourself?" I 
 could not help asking. 
 
 " I couldn't give an opinion till we get 
 inside," he answered, " but we'll have the 
 red hot irons handy in case he tries on 
 any of his games. And if you can't stop 
 that chin of yours," he added, taking a 
 wrapper from his own neck and tossing it
 
 A Miitrimonial Experience 85 
 
 to me, " you'd better hide it in this — 
 they'll only think you've got a sore 
 throat or something. But do hurry up. 
 I'm just going to see the old elephant 
 put in the shafts, and then I'll come 
 back for you, so don't dawdle." 
 
 Once more I was alone ; I felt so 
 chilly that I put on my old coat and 
 waistcoat again, for I did not venture to 
 touch my new suit until my chin left off 
 bleeding, and it seemed inexhaustible, 
 though the precious minutes were slipping 
 by faster and faster. 
 
 The great building had grown sud- 
 denly silent ; I could almost feel the 
 air vibrating with the suppressed excite- 
 ment of the vast unseen crowd which 
 was waiting patiently for the lions, and 
 Lurana — and me. 
 
 Soon I heard a voice — probably a 
 menagerie assistant's — in the passage 
 outside, and presently a shuffling tread 
 approaching, and then I perceived tower- 
 ing above the wooden partition, a huge 
 grey bulk, ridged and fissured like a
 
 86 Love among the Lions 
 
 mountain side, and touched where the 
 light fell on it with a mouldy bloom — 
 it was the elephant on his way to be 
 attached to the lion-cage ! 
 
 I stared helplessly up at his uncouth 
 profile, with the knobby forehead worn 
 to a shiny black, and the sardonic little 
 eye that met mine with a humorous 
 intelligence, as though recommending me 
 to haste to the wedding. 
 
 He plodded past, and I realised that 
 I had no time to change now ; my new 
 wedding suit was a useless extravagance 
 — I must go to the altar as I was. 
 Niono would be back to fetch me in a 
 moment. Lurana would never forgive 
 me for keeping her waiting. 
 
 Hastily I wound the muffler round 
 my neck till my chin was hidden in its 
 folds, and put on my hat. Could I have 
 mislaid the spectacles ? No, thank 
 heaven, they were in the pocket of 
 my great coat. I put them on, and my 
 wedding toilet — such as it was — was 
 complete.
 
 A Miitrimoniiil Experience 
 
 87 
 
 Then I cast a hurried glance at myself 
 in a tarnished mirror nailed against the 
 matchboarding, and stasfsfered back in 
 
 '■toSa^ 
 
 dismay. I was not merely unrecognis- 
 able ; I was — what 
 is a thousand times 
 worse — ridiculous ! 
 
 Yes, no bride- 
 groom in the world 
 could hope to make 
 a creditable appear- 
 ance with his nose 
 only just showing 
 above a worsted 
 comforter and his 
 eyes hidden behind 
 a pair of smoked 
 spectacles. It was 
 enough to make any 
 lion roar — the audi- 
 ence would receive 
 me with howls 1 
 
 I had been prepared^ I was still pre- 
 pared — for Lurana's dear sake, to face 
 the deadliest peril. But to do so with 
 
 My wedding toilette was 
 complete.
 
 88 Love among the Lions 
 
 a total loss of dignity ; to be irresistibly 
 comic in the supreme crisis, to wrestle 
 with wild beasts to the accompaniment 
 of peals of Homeric laughter — would 
 any lover in the world be capable of 
 heroism such as that ? 
 
 True, I might remove the spectacles — 
 but in that case I could not trust my 
 nerve ; or I might take off the muffler 
 but then I could not trust the tiger. 
 And in either case I should be courting 
 not only my own destruction, but that of 
 one whose life was far dearer to me than 
 my own. 
 
 I asked myself solemnly whether I had 
 the right to endanger her safety, simply 
 from a selfish unwillingness to appear 
 grotesque in her eyes and those of the 
 audience. The answer was what every 
 rightminded reader will have foreseen. 
 
 And, seeing that the probability was 
 that Lurana would absolutely decline to 
 go through the ceremony at all with the 
 guy I now appeared (for had she not 
 objected even to my assuming a green
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 89 
 
 shade, which was, comparatively, becom- 
 ing), it was obvious that only one alter- 
 native remained, and that I took. 
 
 Cautiously opening the door of my 
 cabin, I looked up and down the passage. 
 At one end I could just see the elephant 
 surrounded by a crowd of grooms and 
 helpers, who were presumably harnessing 
 him to the cage and were too far away or 
 too much engaged to notice me. At the 
 other were a few deserted stalls and rifle- 
 galleries, whose proprietors had all gone 
 to swell the crowd of spectators who were 
 waiting to see as much as they could of 
 my wedding, and it began to seem likely 
 that they would see very little indeed. 
 
 I was about to make for the nearest 
 exit when I remembered that it would 
 probably be guarded, so, assuming as far 
 as possible the air of an ordinary visitor, I 
 slipped quietly up a broad flight of stairs, 
 on each of which was a recommendation 
 to try somebody's " Pink Pills for Pale 
 People," and gained the upper gallery 
 without attracting attention.
 
 go Love among the Lions 
 
 I felt instinctively that my best chance 
 of escaping detection was to mingle with 
 the crowd, and besides, I was naturally 
 curious to know how the affair would 
 end, so, seeing a door and pigeon-hole 
 with the placard " Balcony Seats, Six- 
 pence," I went in, and was lucky enough 
 to secure the only cane bottom chair left 
 in the back row. 
 
 After removing my spectacles, I had a 
 fairly good view of the ring below, with 
 its brown tan enclosed by a white border 
 cushioned along the top in faded crimson. 
 The reserved stalls were all full, and 
 beyond the barriers, the crowd swayed 
 and surged in a dense black mass. No- 
 body was inside the ring except a couple 
 of nondescript grooms in scarlet liveries, 
 who hung about with an air of growing 
 embarrassment. The orchestra opposite 
 was reiterating " The Maiden's Prayer " 
 with a perseverance that at length got 
 upon the nerves of the audience, which 
 began to stamp suggestively. 
 
 " It's a swindle," said a husky man,
 
 A Miitrimoniiil Experience 
 
 91 
 
 who was obviously inclined to scepticism, 
 and also sherry, " a reg'lar take in ! There 
 won't be nobody married in a lion's cage 
 — I've said so all along." 
 
 " Oh, it's too soon to say that yet " ! 
 1 replied soothingly, though I had reasons 
 for being of the same opinion, " they're a 
 little behind time, 
 that's all." 
 
 " I dunno what 
 it is they're be- 
 hind," he said, — 
 "but they don't 
 mean comin' out. 
 There, what did I 
 tell you ? " 
 
 One of the grooms, obeying instruc- 
 tions from without, had just gone to the 
 Indicator-post, removed the number corre- 
 sponding with that of the wedding pro- 
 gramme, and substituted another, which 
 was the signal for a general uproar. 
 
 A carpet was spread for a performance 
 by a " Bender," who made his appearance in 
 a tight suit of green spangles, as the "Mar- 
 
 Il's a swindle.
 
 92 Love among the Lions 
 
 vellous Boy Serpent," and endeavoured to 
 wile away the popular discontent by writh- 
 ing in and out of the rungs of a chair, and 
 making a glittering pincushion of himself 
 In vain, for they would have none of him, 
 and the poor youth had to return at last 
 amidst a storm of undeserved hissing. 
 
 Another long wait followed, and the 
 indignation grew louder. So infectious is 
 the temper of a mob that I actually caught 
 myself growing impatient, and banging 
 loudly on the floor with my umbrella — 
 just as my neighbours were doing ! 
 
 All at once, to my extreme bewilder- 
 ment, the stamping and hooting changed 
 to tumultuous applause, the band began 
 to bray out an air that was apparently 
 intended for " The Voice that Breathed," 
 the barriers were thrown open, and the 
 great elephant lumbered into the arena 
 drawing the cage. 
 
 The brute had an enormous wedding 
 favour attached to each side of his tusks, 
 and all the animals in the cage, down to 
 the very tiger, were wearing garlands of
 
 A Miitrimonial Experience 93 
 
 artificial orange-blossom, a touch of senti- 
 ment which seemed to go straight to the 
 hearts of the people. 
 
 But even while I looked dovvai into the 
 cage, with much the same reflection as 
 that of John Bradford of old, that there, 
 but for special grace, I might myself be 
 figuring, I was astounded by the audacity 
 of the management. 
 
 Could they really imagine that an 
 intelligent and enlightened audience like 
 this would be pacified by anything less 
 than the spectacle they had paid to witness 
 — a marriage solemnised in a den of lions ? 
 And how did they propose to perform a 
 ceremony at which, as they must be fully 
 aware by this time, the bridegroom would 
 be conspicuous by his absence ? No, it 
 might be magnificent, but it was not 
 business. 
 
 I was still speculating, when a kind of 
 small procession entered the arena. First 
 came Mr Sawkins, with the Reverend 
 Ninian, looking rather like a cheap 
 Cranmer ; next was a smart-looking
 
 94 Love among the Lions 
 
 person in a well-cut frock-coat and 
 lavender trousers that I seemed to have 
 seen before. It was my wedding suit ; 
 the wearer had gummed on a moustache 
 and short side-whiskers which gave him 
 a spurious resemblance to myself, but if 
 nobody else knew him, I did — it was 
 Onion, the Lion King ! 
 
 And the next moment, I received a 
 still greater shock, as Professor Polking- 
 horne followed with the lofty bearing of a 
 Virginius, and on his arm was a slender 
 shrinking figure, which, in spite of the 
 veil she wore, I knew too well could be 
 no other than Lurana. 
 
 " There's the bridegroom, d'ye see ! " 
 explained my hoarse neighbour ; " he's a 
 deal better lookin' than the pictures 
 they've drawed of him in the papers. 
 But he's as pale as plaster, he'll back out 
 of it at the last moment — you just see if 
 he don't ! " 
 
 But I knew Niono better. I remembered 
 his open admiration of Lurana, his envy 
 at my good fortune, I felt convinced that
 
 A kind of small procession entered the arena.
 
 g6 Love among the Lions 
 
 his pallor was merely due to the absence 
 of rouge and the fear that he would not 
 succeed in his daring imposture. For I 
 saw now that he had been planning to 
 supplant me from the first ; hence his 
 attempts to shake my nerve, and, when 
 they failed, hence his treacherous loan of 
 a blunt razor. He was staking everything 
 on the chance that the bride's natural 
 agitation, and the thickness of her veil 
 would prevent her from suspecting that 
 he was a fraudulent bridegroom until the 
 ceremony was over, while the audience, 
 not expecting to see a Lion King in a 
 tall hat, would be equally deceived. 
 
 " Pore young things ! " said a stout 
 female in front, with a nodding feather 
 in her bonnet ; " it's to be 'oped there 
 won't be any unpleasantness, I'm sure. 
 I'm 'alf sorry I came." 
 
 There was time even yet ; I had but to 
 rise, denounce the usurper, and take my 
 rightful place at Lurana's side. I felt 
 strongly impelled to do so ; I actually 
 stood up and tried to speak. But I
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 97 
 
 realised that it was hopeless to attempt 
 to make my feeble voice heard above the 
 thunders of applause, even if excitement 
 and emotion had not rendered me speech- 
 less. Besides, what satisfactory explana- 
 tion of my present position could I offer ? 
 I sat down again with a sense of spell- 
 bound helplessness. 
 
 I looked on as the great arc-lamps were 
 lowered, hissing and buzzing, to the level 
 of the cage, and the Reverend Mr Skip- 
 worth prepared to ascend the inverted 
 white tub that was to serve him as a 
 reading-desk, and the unscrupulous Onion 
 took the bride by the hand and conducted 
 her to the steps which led to the door of 
 the lion-cage. 
 
 " They're never goin' in among all 
 them lions without nobody with them ! " 
 cried the stout lady. " It's downright 
 temptin' of Providence, that it is ! " 
 
 " Don't you be afraid," said the cynical 
 man. " They ain't goin' in. Just look at 
 that now ! " 
 
 As he spoke two persons in plain 
 G
 
 98 Love among the Lions 
 
 clothes, who had apparently been waiting 
 for this moment, stepped over the barrier 
 from the shilling stalls into the ring, and, 
 from their gestures, seemed to be insisting 
 that the wedding should not take place 
 inside the cage at all events. 
 
 There was an animated dispute in the 
 ring ; Niono blustered, Lurana pleaded, 
 Sawkins expostulated, and the professor 
 and Archibald Chuck (who had contrived 
 to push himself into the party) argued, 
 while Miss Rakestraw filled page after 
 page of her reporter's note-book, and the 
 Rev. Ninian sat upon his tub with meekly 
 folded hands, looking more than ever like 
 a martyr who knew himself to be incom- 
 bustible. 
 
 The audience booed, and hissed, and 
 yelled with natural rage and disappoint- 
 ment ; the lions remained unmoved, 
 blinking behind their bars, with crossed 
 forepaws, and an air of serene indifference. 
 
 " I told yer there wasn't going to be no 
 blooming wedding ! " said my husky friend. 
 " It's a reg'lar put-up job, that's what it is !"
 
 A Miitrimonial Experience 99 
 
 It was possible ; but whether the in- 
 terrupters of the proceedings were hired 
 supers or genuine officials, it was equally 
 clear that there would be no wedding 
 inside the cage. 
 
 How bitterly I regretted that by yield- 
 ing to an irresistible impulse I had for- 
 feited the right to stand by Lurana's side 
 at this supreme moment ! I could have 
 done so with absolute impunity ; I should 
 have won a lifelong reputation for courage ; 
 Lurana herself would have owned that I 
 had done all that was possible to gratify 
 her whim, and would have consented to 
 marry me in the orthodox fashion. 
 
 Whereas, here I was, separated from 
 her by impassable barriers, in the igno- 
 minious seclusion of a back seat ! How- 
 ever, this official prohibition had at least 
 solved one of my difficulties ; it had 
 rendered it unnecessary for me to interfere 
 personall}'. 
 
 The storm of indignation rose to a 
 hurricane when the entire wedding party 
 filed out of the arena with the officials,
 
 loo Love among the Lions 
 
 doubtless to discuss the matter in greater 
 privacy. 
 
 The stout lady with the feather was 
 particularly annoyed. " Why shouldn't 
 the two young parties be allowed to 
 please themselves ? " she wanted to know. 
 "It was their wedding, not the Govern- 
 ment's. But it was always the way 
 whenever she came out for a little amuse- 
 ment. Somethink was bound to go 
 wrong." 
 
 Another long interval, during which 
 the wildest disorder reigned unchecked, 
 the crowd, with the irrationality of an 
 angry mob, actually throwing pieces of 
 orange-peel at the unoffending lions as 
 the only creatures within the range of 
 their displeasure. The hubbub was at 
 its height when Sawkins reappeared and 
 held up his hand for some time in vain 
 before he could obtain a hearing. Then 
 he addressed the audience as follows : 
 
 " Ladies and Gentlemen," he said, 
 " certain individuals claiming to represent 
 the Home Office and the London County
 
 Then he addressed the audience.
 
 I02 Love among the Lions 
 
 Council " (here there were groans, and 
 my neighbour remarked disgustedly, that 
 " that was what came of returning those 
 Progressives ") " have protested against a 
 wedding in the cage as involving danger 
 to the principal parties concerned." (Loud 
 cries of " Shame ! " and general uproar.) 
 " I have the honour and pleasure to 
 announce that we have succeeded in 
 convincing these gentlemen that the pro- 
 posed ceremony is no more open to 
 objection than the ordinary performance, 
 and that they have no legal power to 
 prohibit it. Consequently the marriage 
 will now be celebrated in the cage of 
 forest-bred African lions, as advertised." 
 
 The revulsion of feeling after this 
 most unexpected announcement was in- 
 stant and tremendous ; all hearts seemed 
 touched with generous compunction for 
 their uncharitable suspicions, and the hall 
 rang with tumultuous cheers. 
 
 For myself, I could not share the 
 general exhilaration. This preposterous 
 wedding was permitted after all, and,
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 103 
 
 unless Lurana's heart failed her at the 
 critical instant, she would inevitably be 
 lost to me for ever ! I might still inter- 
 pose ; indeed I should have done so at 
 all costs, but for a timely remembrance 
 that no action I took now would regain 
 her. 
 
 She might have been in ignorance 
 before — but in the course of this delay 
 she must have learnt that I had failed 
 her, she must have accepted the lion- 
 tamer as a substitute, and, even if I were 
 to present myself, she would only inform 
 me that my place was already filled. I 
 had too much spirit to risk a public snub 
 of that kind, so I stayed where I was. It 
 cannot have fallen to many men's lot to 
 look on as passive spectators at their own 
 wedding — but what choice had I ? 
 
 There was a deathlike silence as Niono 
 slipt the bolt and gallantly handed the 
 bride into the cage. She stepped in as 
 collectedly as if it had been an ordinary 
 Registry Office, and the great tawny 
 beasts retreated sullenly to the other
 
 I04 Love among the Lions 
 
 end, where they stood huddled in a row, 
 while the Rev. Ninian, mounting his tub, 
 read an abbreviated form of service in a 
 voice which was quite inaudible in the 
 balcony. 
 
 I tried to turn my eyes away from the 
 scene that was taking place in that grim 
 cage, and the two figures that were 
 so calmly confronting those formidable 
 brutes — but I felt compelled to look. 
 And it was mortifying to see how trifling 
 after all was the danger they incurred. 
 I am afraid I almost wished that one of 
 the animals would give some trouble — 
 I don't mean of course by any actual 
 attack — but by just enough display of 
 ferocity to make Lurana understand what 
 they might do. 
 
 But they never even attempted to cross 
 the pole which had been thrust across the 
 cage as a barrier. I was never told there 
 would be a pole ! They looked on, 
 mystified — as well they might be — by 
 proceedings to which they were totally 
 unaccustomed, but still impressed, and
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 105 
 
 sleepily solemn. Even the tiger behaved 
 with irreproachable decorum. 
 
 I understood then what Onion had 
 been careful not to mention ; their food 
 had been doctored in some way. If I 
 had onl}' known ! Anybody could beard 
 a hocussed lion ! 
 
 And soon the words which made that 
 couple man and wife were pronounced, 
 or rather mumbled — for the Rev. Ninian 
 would have been none the worse for a 
 course of lessons from old Polkinghorne 
 — and the newly -wedded pair came out 
 of the cage without so much as a scratch, 
 to the triumphant blare of the " Wedding 
 March." There was frantic applause as 
 the Professor embraced the bride with 
 an emotion that struck me as overdone, 
 while the Rev. Ninian, Miss Rakestraw, 
 and Chuck, offered their congratulations 
 and Mr Sawkins presented the happy 
 couple with a silver biscuit-box (it may 
 have been electro-plated), and a Tantalus 
 spirit case. 
 
 But for that unfortunate slip of the
 
 io6 Love among the Lions 
 
 razor, those gifts would have been mine 
 — but I was in no mood to think of that 
 just then, when I had lost what was so 
 infinitely more precious. 
 
 I looked on dully till the party left the 
 arena, declining with excellent taste to 
 return in answer to repeated calls and 
 bow their acknowledgments, and then, as 
 the electric lights were hoisted up again 
 and the elephant was led in to remove 
 the lion's cage, I thought it was time 
 to go. 
 
 It was all over ; there was nothing to 
 stay for now, and most of the people were 
 leaving, so I joined the crowd which 
 streamed down the staircase and along 
 the broad passage to the main exit. 
 Once in the open air, I hurried blindly 
 past the flaring shops in the High Street, 
 neither knowing nor caring where I was 
 going, with only one thought possessing 
 my numbed brain — how different it 
 might all have been if only things had 
 happened otherwise ! 
 
 Wherever I looked I saw Lurana's
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 107 
 
 lovely scornful face and flashing eyes 
 painted with torturing vividness on the 
 murky air. How flat and stale all 
 existence would be for me henceforth ! 
 Life with Lurana might not have been 
 all sunshine ; it might have had its 
 storms, even its tempests — but at least 
 it would never have been dull ! 
 
 I cursed the treachery which had 
 induced her to link herself for life with 
 a lion-tamer. Happy, I knew she could 
 not be, for of one thing I was confident 
 — she loved me ; not perhaps with the 
 passionate single-hearted devotion I felt 
 for her, but still with a love she would 
 never feel for any other. Perhaps she 
 was already beginning to repent her 
 desertion of me, and wishing she could 
 undo that rash irrevocable act. 
 
 I was pounding up Highgate Hill, 
 with no object beyond escaping by 
 active motion the demons of recollection 
 and regret that haunted me — when 
 suddenly, as I gained the top of the 
 hill, a thought struck me. PVas the
 
 io8 Love among the Lions 
 
 act irrevocable after all ? Was it so 
 absolutely certain that this Onion had 
 the legal right to claim her as his 
 wife? 
 
 He had certainly personated me. Had 
 he borrowed, not only my frock coat, 
 and trousers, but also my name for the 
 ceremony ? If he had, and if Lurana 
 was, as she could hardly help being, 
 aware of the fact, it did not require 
 much acquaintance with the law to know 
 that there was a chance, at all events, of 
 getting the Court to declare the marriage 
 null and void. 
 
 But he might have been married in 
 his own name ; I could not tell, owing 
 to the indistinctness of Mr Skipworth's 
 utterance, only Lurana or those in their 
 immediate neighbourhood could say. I 
 must know that first ; I must examine 
 the register, if there was one, and then, 
 if — if Lurana wished to be saved, I might 
 be able to save her. 
 
 I knew that a sort of wedding high-tea 
 had been prepared at Canonbury Square,
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 109 
 
 where the whole part}- would be assembled 
 by this time, and I hurried back to Canon- 
 bury Square as fast as the tramcar would 
 take me. My blood was roused ; she 
 would not be Niono's if I could prevent 
 it. I would snatch her from him, even if 
 I had to do so across the wedding-cake ! 
 
 But when I reached the well-known 
 door and raised the familiar knocker — a 
 fist clutching a cast-iron wreath — in my 
 trembling fingers, there were no sounds of 
 festivity within ; the house was dark and 
 deserted. 
 
 I waited in the bitter January air ; the 
 street lamp opposite — the identical one 
 under which Lurana had first agreed to 
 marry me — flickered at every gust of the 
 night wind, as though troubled on my ac- 
 count. They must have transferred the feast 
 to theCircuSjOr to some adjacent restaurant; 
 evidently there was no one there. 
 
 I was just turning hopelessly away, 
 when I heard the bolt being withdrawn, 
 and the door was opened by a maid. 
 
 " Where is your mistress ? " I asked
 
 I lo Love among the Lions 
 
 breathlessly. I could not bring myself to 
 ask for Lurana as Mrs Onion, 
 
 " In the drawing-room, upstairs," was 
 the unexpected reply, "with the 'istericks." 
 
 So long as she was not with Niono, I 
 cared little ; I bounded up, and found her 
 alone. 
 
 As I entered, she raised her flushed, 
 tear-stained face from the shabby sofa on 
 which she had thrown herself. " Go 
 away ! " she cried, " why do you come 
 near me now ? You have no right — do 
 you hear ? — no right ! " 
 
 " I know," I said humbly enough, " I 
 deserve this, no doubt ; and yet, if you 
 knew all, you would find excuses for me, 
 Lurana ! " 
 
 " None, Theodore," she said ; " if you 
 had really loved me, you would never 
 have deserted me ! " 
 
 " I could not help myself," I retorted ; 
 " and really, Lurana, if it comes to 
 desertion ! " 
 
 " Ah, what is the use of wrangling 
 about whose fault it was," she moaned.
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 1 1 1 
 
 "now, when we have both wrecked our lives ! 
 At least, I know I've wrecked mine ! Why 
 was I so insane as to set my heart on our 
 being married in a den of disgusting lions ? 
 If you had only been firmer, Theodore, 
 instead of giving way as you did ! " 
 
 " At least it was not cowardice," I said, 
 " When I show you the state of my 
 chin " 
 
 " Theodore ! " she cried, with a little 
 scream, " you are hurt ! Tell me ; was it 
 the tiger ? " 
 
 " It was not the tiger," I said, "Never 
 mind that now. I was betrayed by that 
 infernal Onion, Lurana. I never knew till 
 it was too late — you do believe me, don't 
 you ? " 
 
 "I do ; we were both deceived, Theodore. 
 I should never have acted as I did if that 
 horrid Frenchwoman hadn't told me — Oh, 
 what would I not give if all this had never 
 been ? " 
 
 " If you are truly sincere," I began, " in 
 wishing this unlucky marriage cancelled
 
 112 Love among the Lions 
 
 " If I am ! Are you, Theodore ? Oh, 
 if only there is a way ! " 
 
 " There may be, Lurana. It all depends 
 on whether my name was used at the 
 ceremony or not. Try to recollect and 
 tell me." 
 
 " But I can't, Theodore. You were 
 there — you must know ! " 
 
 " Mr Skipworth wouldn't speak up ; 
 and I was much farther away than you 
 were." 
 
 " Than / was, Theodore ! But — but I 
 wasn't there at all ! " 
 
 " Not present at your own wedding ? " 
 I cried, " but I saw you ! " 
 
 " It was not me ! " she said, " it was 
 Mile. Leonie. Is it possible you didn't 
 know ? " 
 
 My heart leaped. " For heaven's sake, 
 explain, Lurana ; let us have no more 
 concealments." 
 
 " When I arrived," she said, " Made- 
 moiselle explained about the tiger, and 
 how sorry she was it was too late to 
 remove it, since she understood I had an
 
 "If only you had been firmer, Theodore." 
 
 H 
 
 "3
 
 1 1 4 Love among the Lions 
 
 antipathy to tigers ; and I said, not at all, 
 I adored tigers, so she took me to see the 
 cage, and I — I only tried to tickle the 
 tiger, but he was so dreadfully cross about 
 it — I nearly fainted. And she said it was 
 simply madness for me to go in, and that 
 you were every bit as frightened as I was." 
 
 " She had no right to say that," I said ; 
 " it's absolutely untrue ! " 
 
 " I know, Theodore," she replied ; " you 
 have proved that you, at least, are no 
 coward — but I believed her then. And I 
 wrote you a line to say that I had altered 
 my mind, and did not think it right to 
 expose you or myself to such danger, and 
 that I would wait for you by the Myddelton 
 Statue. She promised to give you the 
 letter at once ! " 
 
 " I never got it," I said. 
 
 *' No, she took care you should not. 
 And I waited for you — how long I don't 
 know — hours, it seemed — but you never 
 came ! Then I saw the people beginning 
 to come out, and — and I went across and 
 asked someone whether there had been
 
 A Matrimonial Experience iic 
 
 any marriage or not, and he said, ' Yes, it 
 had gone off without any accident, the 
 bridegroom looked pale but was plucky 
 enough, and so was the bride, though he 
 couldn't tell how she looked, because of 
 her veil.' And then of course, I knew 
 that the deceitful cat had taken my place 
 and managed to make you marry her ! 
 And at first I wanted to go back and 
 stab her with my hat pin, but I hadn't 
 one sharp enough, so I came home instead. 
 And oh, Theodore, I do feel so ashamed ! 
 After boasting so much of my Spanish 
 blood, and taunting you with being afraid 
 as I did, to think that you should have 
 shown the truer courage after all ! " 
 
 I could not triumph over her then ; I 
 was too happy. " Courage, my darling, 
 is a merely relative quality," I said. 
 " Heaven forbid that we should be held 
 accountable for the state of our nerves — 
 even the bravest of us." 
 
 " But this marriage, Theodore," she 
 said, " what can you do to have it set 
 aside ? "
 
 1 1 6 Love among the Lions 
 
 " Do ! Nothing," I repHed ; " after what 
 you have told me, I no longer care to 
 try." 
 
 " You despise me, then, because I broke 
 down at the critical moment ? " 
 
 " Not at all. I can never be grateful 
 enough to you ! " 
 
 " Grateful ! Then do you mean to say 
 you prefer that coarse, middle-aged, lion- 
 taming person to me, Theodore ? " 
 
 " Lurana," I said, " prepare yourself for 
 a great surprise — a pleasattt surprise. If 
 anybody is now that lady's lawful husband 
 it is Niono — not I ; and a very suitable 
 match too," I added (I saw now why the 
 authorities had been compelled to waive 
 their objections to it). " The fact is, I 
 never went into the cage at all." 
 
 " You didn't go into the cage, Theo- 
 dore ! but how, why ? " 
 
 " Do you imagine," I asked, " can you 
 really suppose I should be capable of 
 entering that cage with anybody but 
 yourself, Lurana ? How little you know 
 me ! Of course I declined ! "
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 1 1 7 
 
 " But you didn't know I had run away 
 then, Theodore ! Why, you thought only 
 a few minutes ago / was the person Mr 
 Niono married ! Perhaps you will kindly 
 explain ? " 
 
 For the moment I was in a fix, but I 
 saw that the moment had arrived for 
 perfect candour, and accordingly I told 
 her the facts pretty much as they have 
 been set down here. 
 
 She could hardly blame me for having 
 behaved precisely as she herself had done, 
 or refuse to admit that by taking any 
 other course I should have imperilled our 
 joint happiness, and yet I thought I could 
 see that, with feminine unreason, she was 
 just a little disappointed with me. 
 
 The true explanation of that marriage, 
 if it was a marriage, in the den of lions, 
 I have never been able to discover, nor 
 for that matter have I been particularly 
 curious to inquire whether Onion at- 
 tempted to get rid of me in order to 
 secure Lurana ; whether Mdlle. Leonie 
 played upon Lurana's fears with the
 
 1 1 8 Love among the Lions 
 
 hope of becoming my bride, or his ; or 
 whether the Lion King and his fellow 
 artist gallantly sacrificed themselves to 
 get the management out of a difficulty, 
 I don't know, and, as I say, I haven't 
 cared to ask. 
 
 But however it was, they were ably 
 seconded by old Polkinghorne, who was 
 naturally unwilling to be called upon to 
 refund the money he had got for his 
 free tickets, and by Miss Rakestraw and 
 Archibald Chuck, whose reputations were 
 also more or less concerned. 
 
 Nevertheless, although every effort was 
 made to keep the public off the scent, and 
 the circus people behaved, I am bound to 
 say, with commendable discretion, sundry 
 garbled versions of the facts did get about, 
 and altogether Lurana and I have found 
 the task of denying or correcting them 
 such a constant nuisance that I have felt 
 compelled, as I said at starting, to furnish, 
 once for all, a statement of what actually 
 occurred. 
 
 Now that it is written I have no more
 
 A Matrimonial Experience 1 1 9 
 
 to add, except to append a cutting from 
 an announcement which appeared not long 
 ago in the principal papers. The arrange- 
 ments for its publication were entrusted to 
 Archibald Chuck, who I think must have 
 added the last two words on his own 
 responsibility. 
 
 Bletikinsop — De Castro.— On the i 5 th 
 inst,, at the Parish Church of St 
 Mary, Islington, by the Rev. Merton 
 Sandford, D.D., Vicar, Theodore 
 PiDGLEV Blenkinsop, of Highbury, 
 to LuRANA Carmen de Castro, 
 only daughter of the late Manuel 
 Guzman de Castro, formerly Deputy 
 Sub-Assistant Inspector of Spanish 
 Liquorice to the Government Manu- 
 factory at Madrid. No lions. 
 
 THE END.
 
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