The Churchyard at Cannstatt The Burying Hace of Dr Kitto. JOHN KITTO, D.D., F.S.A. JOHN BAD IE, D.D., LL.B. I argue not Against Heaven's hand or will, nor bate a Jot Of heart or hope, but still bear up and steer Right onward ' EIGHT El THOUSAND. EDINBURGH: WILLIAM OLIPHANT AND CO. LONDON: HAMILTON. ADAMS, AND CO. MDCCCLXI. f- LIBRARY UNIY \3ITr OF FORNIA \ SAN DltGU j I ' Perhaps no one ever was in my circumstances, or being so, ever retained or gathered spirit to surmount his difficulties. I think more and more, that a statement of those difficulties, as I could make that statement, would be felt to be a thing of no common interest.' KITTO. MURRAY AND GIBB, PRINTERS, EDINBURGH. EIGHT HON, SIR JOHN I'NEILL, G.C.B, LATE HER MAJESTY'S ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY AND MINISTER PLENIPOTENTIARY AT THE COURT OF PERSIA, NOT ONLY AS THE MEMORIAL OF A LONG AND GENEROUS INTIMACY WITH DR KITTO, BUT ESPECIALLY AS A TRIBUTE OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT TO ONE WHO WAS AMONG. THE FIRST TO APPRECIATE THE TALENT AND CHARACTER OF THE LONELY WANDERER IN A DISTANT LAND OF THE EAST, AND TO ENCOURAGE HIM IN THE GRATIFICATION OF THOSE TASTES AND IN THE PROSECUTION OF THOSE STUDIES, WHICH QUALIFIED HIM TO BECOME AN EMINENT AND SUCCESSFUL ILLUSTRATOR OF HOLY SCRIPTURE. PREFACE. How a brave spirit may not only conquer obstacles, but climb by means of them to unrivalled eminence and use- fulness; how a mysterious providence originated a hard and healthful discipline, and by it, wrought out its own benig- nant purposes ; how deafness, privations, and disappoint- ments could not ' choke the life from out' a tender and manly heart ; how the love of literature fed itself amidst rags and wretchedness, and ultimately realised its boldest dreams ; and what perseverance, armed with courage and leaning on faith, can achieve, may be learned from the following biography. Dr KITTO always purposed to write out his own life, and unfold its great lessons. When he first resided at Islington, the plan was so far matured, that he proposed, iu a letter to Mr HARVEY, October 17, 1826, to divide the sketch into three parts 1. From Birth to the Workhouse ; 2. From the Workhouse to Exeter; 3. From Exeter to leaving England. A month afterwards, he wrote to the same 6 PREFACE. friend ' Perhaps there is sufficient of interest, I had al- most said romance, in my past life, to render the narrative of it attractive to the many ; and it will be my business to employ that attraction as I best can, for the glory of my Master's name, and the real welfare of my readers.' This design was never executed, and though, in subsequent years, it was allowed to fall into abeyance, yet it was never abandoned, and towards the close of his life, it was revived in its original ardour. In a letter to the Rev. Mr LAMPEN, dated Woking, November 5, 1845, he says, in reference to the experiment of writing some personal notices in his little autobiographical work, ' The Lost Senses,' ' it has sufficed to throw me back very strongly upon my previous impressions, that a biography, such as I should wish mine to be, is a work which cannot now be efficiently executed, or rather advantageously published, but should be reserved for a later period of life, when more of the tasks of that life have been accomplished, and more of its labour done.' Lastly, in his correspondence with his Edinburgh publisher, September 21, 1851, he repeats the avowal in these decided terms : ' the reception of " The Lost Senses," and the de- sire for further information which it has awakened, have confirmed me in a purpose I previously entertained, of hereafter preparing or leaving materials for a full account of my early experience, my travels and sojouruings, and my literary labours since my return. I have reason to hope there is yet much for me to do, which may render this PREFACE. 7 memorial of an eventful and laborious life, no unbecoming intrusion on the public notice.' What Dr Krrro was pre- vented, alas ! by an early death, from doing, we have en- deavoured in these pages, to do for him ; though, certainly, we could not hope to invest the work with those charms and attractions which he, in his own style and way, would, as author and subject, have thrown around it. Still, Dr KITTO told his story so often and to so many persons, and so voluminous are the papers and correspondence which he has left behind him, that from its free use of this wealth of material, the following volume may be regarded as virtually an autobiography, with some comments interspersed for the sake of connection and illustration. We come into no invidious comparison with Mr RYXAND'S full and excellent Memoirs, the form and object of our labours being so different in their nature and design. Mr RTLAND'S selections and unpublished transcriptions from Dr KITTO'S Letters and Journals, have saved us much trouble and time, and we accord him our hearty thanks. It will be seen, however, that we have not only made an independent use of such papers as our predecessor has em- ployed, but have added, from other sources, numerous new incidents, extracts, and illustrations of character. The whole of Dr KITTO'S manuscripts were confided to us by his family, at whose request and that of the publishers of the previous Memoirs, this work was undertaken. We were also kindly favoured with the use of numerous parcels g PREFACE. of letters, which have been preserved by the various friends to whom they had been originally addressed. Our object has been, to tell the story, develop the moral, and recount and estimate the labours of Dr KITTO'S life, within a brief compass ; and if we have not wholly failed, the book will be found to be one, not only of interest in the strange vicissitudes which it pictures, but one also of profit in the, impressive teachings with which it is so signally fraught. 13, LANSDOWNE CRESCENT, GLASGOW, May 22, 1857. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. Constitutional Feebleness Sad Domestic History Defective Education Passion for Stories and Books First Literary Effort Desire for Knowledge The Razor and the Hod Dormitory and Study The Accident Incurable Deafness Struggles for Subsistence Pictures and Labels Bookstalls Isolation. Pages 13-35. CHAPTER II. THE WORKHOUSE. Admission to the Hospital of the Poor's Portion The Awl and the Pen The Workhouse Journal Self-Portrait Reprisals Strange Contrasts First Great Sorrow Death of Grandmother Musings on Immortality Doubts and Ques- tionings Plymouth Fair Powers of Composition Thoughts on the Trial of Queen Caroline and the Death of Buonaparte Forereachings Love of Travel Lectures for the Workhouse Boys Dealings with his Parents Apprenticed to a Shoemaker Drudgery and Stripes The Savage Bowden Night Morning Indenture can- celled Release from the Workhouse The Future Unveiled Captious Criticism Studies in the Public Library Forebodings of Early Death Thirst for Know- ledge Desire of a little Pocket-Money Letter of Condolence to Mrs Burnard Searchings of Heart. Pages 36- 92. CHAPTER III. EXETER. Introduction to Mr Groves Removal to Exeter Progressive Piety Morning Prayer First Communion First Love ' Essays and Letters' Published Imagin- ary Criticism 'John Kitto, Shoemaker and Pauper' Self-Vindication Multi- farious Reading Imitation of various Authors Necessity of Writing Ideal Companionship Privations of his Deafness Compensation in Love of Books Kitto in his Twentieth Year Longing to be a Missionary Connection with Church Missionary Society. Pages 93-113 10 CONTENTS. CHAPTER IV. ISLINGTON. Missionary Institution Stolen Reading Romantic Attachment Reverie on Marriage Lines to his Betrothed Formal Distribution of Time Illness Tract Distribution Meditations by the Way Misunderstanding with the Committee Resigns his Situation Parting Address to the Students Conscious Innocence Gloomy Prospects Reinstalled Counsels to a Relative Departure for Malta. Pages 116-138. CHAPTER Y. MALTA. Early Desire of Usefulness Self-Advancement Church Mission at Malta Restoration to Speech The Voyage Engagements in Printing-Office Hope deferred Marriage Broken off Agony of Heart Letter to his Mother A Lover's Lament Severe Illness Constant Study Final Rupture with the Society The Horizon Lowering Farewell to Malta Return to Plymouth Estrangement of Friends Various Schemes Offered a Situation as Printer at Teignmouth Death of H. A. Engagement with Mr Groves, and Sudden Resolve to Travel The Horizon Clearing. Pages 139-161. CHAPTER VI. JOURNEY TO THE EAST. Character of Mr Groves The Mission Party Departure from Gravesend The Voyage St Petersburg Dream Classification of Dreams Miss Kilham Low Estimate of the Russians Gipsy Missionaries Meditation among the Tombs Dr Glen's Hospitality Tartar Curiosity Grand Pass of the Caucasus Influence of Scenery The White Thorn Georgian Ladies Brambles Colony of Millennarians Fall from his Horse Tabreez Marriage of Miss Taylor Exception to Single Females as Missionaries in the East First Interview with Sir John M'Neill Perils in Koordistan Arrival at Bagdad Terraced Roofs Social and Common Habits of the People Leadings of Providence Self-Possession. Pages 162-200. CHAPTER VII. RESIDENCE IN BAGDAD. State of the Pashalic of Bagdad Approach of the Plague Its Advent Fearful Mortality Death of Mrs Groves House of Mourning Letter ir Prospect of Death Minor Privations Inundation of the River Providential Escapes Blockade and Anarchy Thieves and Plunder The Siege First View of the City after these Disasters Appalling Desolation Prevailing Dress and Architecture Adventures on the Tigris Escape from Drowning Diligent Journalising Illus- trations of Scripture Projects for the Future Qualifications for an Editorship Self-Estimate Self- Vindication Secret Anxieties Filial Resolves Misunder- standings with Mr Groves Departure with Mr Newman for England. Pages 201-240. CONTENTS. 11 CHAPTER VIII. RETURN FROM THE EAST. Philosophy of Journalism The Caravan Discomforts of Travel Conversation with the Natives Persian Curiosity Caterer for the Party Incidents at Tehran The Persian Embassy Illness from Fever Lady M'Neill Finger-Talk Tabreez Mr Newman leaves and Mr Shepherd joins him View of Ararat and the Euphrates Superstitious Pictures Self-Respect The Muhaffy Trebizond Argonautics Episcopal Blessing of the Black Sea Constantinople Kindness of the American Missionaries Perils from Umbrella and Rain of Potter's Vessels Once more upon the Waters A Literary Crew Spenser Welcome to the Shores of England Under Quarantine Decease of Mr Shepherd First Experiences on Landing Era of Preparation Over. Pages 241-277. CHAPTER IX. LONDON FIRST LITERARY ENGAGEMENTS MARRIAGE PICTORIAL BIBLE. Intellectual Gain from his Eastern Travels Literary Industry Engagement with Mr Knight on Penny Magazine, etc. 'The Deaf Traveller' First Interviews with Miss Fenwick Marriage Eulogies on Woman Congeniality of Employ- ments Birth of Eldest Child Triumph of Actual Knowledge Sketches from Per- sonal Observations Results of Oriental Experience Nearing the Right Sphere Undertakes the Editorship of 'The Pictorial Bible' Its Popularity Its Novel and Distinctive Character Its Actual Pictures Published Anonymously Previous Discouragements His High Satisfaction at Its Success The Ore and the Mould Various Editions Amusing Extracts from Journal Interview with Mr Groves in London. Pages 278-315. CHAPTER X. BIBLICAL AND LITERARY LABOURS-SOCIAL AND DOMESTIC HABITS. Visit to Plymouth ' Uncle Oliver's Travels' 'Pictorial History of Palestine' Not fully appreciated Mistaken Critical Estimate of himself Hours of Labour Soporific Powers of his Reading Incessant Toil Work-day of Sixteen Hours Process of Assimilation with Mrs Kitto Jeopardy in the Streets Delight in his Children Joy and Love of Home Intercourse with his Family Recreations Attractions of Saturday Evening Social Qualities Manner in Society 'The Chris- tian Traveller' Cessation of Regular Employment Pecuniary Straits Casting about for Occupation ' School History of Palestine' ' Thoughts among Flowers' 'Gallery of Scripture Engravings' ' Cyclopaedia of Biblical Literature' Diploma of D.D. conferred 'The Lost Senses' Strange Experiences and Revelations 'Blind- ness' Contributions to Tract Society's Monthly Volume 'Journal of Sacred Litera- ture' Miscalculations as to its Success Editorial Perplexities. Pages 316-304. 12 CONTEXTS. CHAPTER XI. DAILY BIBLE ILLUSTRATIONS LAST DAYS DEATH. Proposed Now Work The Plan of the ' Daily Bible Illustrations' adopted Mom- ing Series Its Favourable Reception 'Scripture Lands Described* 'The Land of Promise' Grant from the Civil List Dedication to the Queen Evening Series Critical Estimate of their Value Failing Health Necessity of Exercise 'Sunday Reading for Christian Families' Death of Infant Child Comfort ibr Mourners Cerebral Irritation Fretting Anxieties Conclusion of his Literary Labours Attack of Paralysis Contributions for his Relief Depression and Feebleness De- parture for Germany Residence at Cannstatt Death of Youngest Child and Eldest Daughter Resignation Last Letter Last Hours Death Funeral Inscription on Tombstone. Pages 355-392. CHAPTER XII. GENERAL REVIEW OF CHARACTER AND CAREER. Lessons of his Life Name immortally associated with Biblical Literature Value of his Labours Illustrations sometimes beside the Mark Early Life Process of Tempering The Turning Point Early Struggles Love of Books Results of his Multifarious Reading Power of Word-Painting Visual Quickness Unceasing Industry and Indomitable Perseverance Physical Exhaustion Foreshadowing of Authorship Numerous Literary Projects Innate Vitality Relish for Society Benevolence Bon-Hommie Fondness for Poetry Quaint and Humorous Sayings Personal Allusions in his Writings Scholarship Accuracy of his References to Authorities Remarkable Faculty of Appropriation Beautiful and Striking Pas- sages Power of Religious Principles Trust in God Deportment under Bereave- ments Catholic Spirit Gratitude to Friends and Patrons Intellectual and Moral Independence Himself a Wonder His Mission. Pages 393-i;>5. ILLUSTRATIONS. FRONTISPIECE Portrait of Dr Kitto. Gate of Hospital of the Poor's Portion, Plymouth, ..... Page 93 Tomb in Churchyard at Cannstatt, . ..... 392 LIFE OF JOHN KITTO, D.D. CHAPTER I. BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. JOHN KITTO, the eldest son of John Kitto and Elizabeth Picken,was born at Plymouth on the 4th of December 1804. So small and sickly was the infant, that but a few hours of life were expected for it. Though nursed with uncommon tenderness and assiduity, it was long before the child was able to walk. This original feebleness was never surmount- ed. His stature was considerably below the average height, and his limbs were defective in vigour ; while a headache, recurring at longer or shorter intervals, accompanied him from his cradle to his grave.' As this constitutional frailty unfitted him, to a large extent, for the society of other boys, and debarred him from their sports, it must have pre- vented, or at least greatly retarded, a healthful physical development. Bodily exercise was his grand necessity all his days, but he never relished 4 it, and, indeed, never took it, till he had partially paid the penalty of neglect. Distaste for it may have originated in his incapacity to run and riot with his childish comrades ; but it clung to him, and grew upon him as he advanced in years nay, 14 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. led him, when charged by his physician to walk so many miles a day, and when his life depended on punctual com- pliance, to seek, by various shifts and pleasantries, to lessen the amount of his pedestrian regimen. If a boy that has not sufficient strength and hardihood to keep pace with his fellows in their boisterous pas- times, should be often seen with his book behind a hedge, or on a sunny slope, or found quietly seated in his own corner of the domestic hearth, it would naturally be con- cluded that he had been well educated ; that since he reads so much, volumes are freely at his disposal ; that he meets with parental encouragement ; that no misery preys upon his heart ; and that there is no undue demand for labour upon his youthful sinews. But Kitto's condition was exactly the reverse. He was not sent to school till he was eight years of age ; the majority of his books were begged or borrowed, by continuous and untiring effort ; his home was a seer of misery and degradation ; and, by the time he was twelve years old, the dwarfed skeleton was yoked to the heavy drudgery of a mason's labourer. It is scarcely possible to estimate the amount of evil influences that were thrown around Kitto from his child- hood. His parents, both in humble life, had married young the bridegroom, a mason by trade, and doing business on his own account, being in his twentieth year, and the bride in her eighteenth. But alas! the gay ' morning, with gold the hills adorning,' was speedily overcast, and there closed in a dark and stormy afternoon. The young husband and father soon fell into intemperance, and his heart and home became a wreck. Character was not only lost, but the love of a good reputation died away within him. He was, as his son has said, of ' the class of men whom prosperity ruins;' and from being a master, he sank into a servant. The curse of poverty fell upon his SAD DOMESTIC HISTORY. 15 family, for what he earned he consumed upon his lusts. Swiftly pursuing his reckless and downward career, he found himself more than once in ' durance vile,' and at length, and at a later period, a more serious misdemeanour threatened such consequences, that his poor boy writes, in the bitterness of his soul ' What will they now say of Kitto, the felon's son?' 1 To snatch the delicate child out of this wretchedness, he was transferred, in his fourth year, to his grandmother's poor garret. She, ' dear old woman,' nursed him with more than a mother's tenderness, and her he regarded with inexpressible affection. She, too, had been blighted by intemperance. Her second husband, John Picken, though usually reckoned a sober man, had gone from Plymouth to Bigbury, a distance of thirteen miles, and spent the evening to a late hour with friends in the alehouse ; so that, as he was riding home somewhat intoxicated, his horse trotted into a pond, and its rider falling from its back, was drowned in his helplessness. Kitto's mother was born a month after the melancholy event. ' Alas !' says her son, on a comparison of his grand- mother's and mother's fate ' My mother has the sad pre- eminence in misery.' For the shadow which had fallen upon her birth gathered over her wedded life in more terrible gloom. Intemperance had made her a posthumous child, and now it made her an unhappy wife, and a broken- it may be added, that Kitto's uncle, who had got a superior education, fell a victim to intemperance, as well as his father. The uncle had some local fame as an engineer, having 'constructed the Upper Road across the Laira marshes from Plymouth towards Exeter, and embanked a great portion of this road from the tide.' Lost Senses, p. 7. Both brothers had come from their native parish of Gwennap, in Cornwall, to Plymouth, attracted by the high rate of wages. Mrs Picken, with her two daughters, Mary and Elizabeth, lived in the same street with them, and the result was, that'the two Kittos courted and married the two sisters about the same period. Kitto, in his Workhouse Journal, fills some pages with the sad story of his uncle, who was at length so reduced that he wrought on the Hoe as a pauper, and he concludes by saying, ' Drunkenness is the bane of our family, and the name of Kitto is synonymous with drunkard.' 1<5 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. hearted mother. Menial offices of the lowest form, she was at length glad to do, working, as she once tells her boy, ' from five in the morning to ten in the evening,' that she might have something to put into the mouth of her babes. From his fourth to his eighth year, though Kitto enjoyed a partial asylum with his grandmother, who ' pinched herself to support ' him, yet he got no schooling. True, he enjoyed another kind of education, perhaps as essential to his welfare. He strolled through the fields and lanes with his venerated relative, and gathered the flowers and plucked the fruits, which grew around him in wild luxu- riance, his grandmother deftly using her staff to hook down the clusters of nuts and berries which were beyond his reach. At other times they turned their course to the sea- beach, and both were nerved by the breezes, which carried the surf to the feet of the aged pilgrim and her tiny charge, As they returned from these frequent and happy excursions, she usually supplied him liberally ' with ginger- bread, plums, apples, or sugar-stick,' her indifference to the sweetness of the last article often filling his young ima- gination with great amazement. 1 At the age of eight Kitto was sent to school, and he re- mained, for various periods, and at various places of tuition, during the next three years. The congenital malady of headache was perpetually attacking him, and destroying the punctuality of his attendance. But there was another reason for his irregularity. His grandmother was too poor to pay the requisite fees, and his father either would not, or could not, spare a few pence for the pur- pose ; so that when the fees could be saved from the ale- cup, the boy attended school, and when not, he stayed at The record of his abode with his grandmother is given at full length in a letter by Kitto, dated Bagdad, June 25, 1832 an interesting piece of autobiography, from which our knowledge of this portion of his life is derived, so that the source of the subseqiu- needs not be again referred to. DEFECTIVE EDUCATION. 17 home. 1 Perhaps this circumstance may account for the changes made in the schools he was sent to ; for he was ' placed, for short and interrupted periods, at the schools of Messrs Winston, Stephens, Treeby, and Goss.' 2 Probably, at first, he lost as much in these forced recesses as he had gained in the previous weeks of attendance. Still there must have been great carelessness on the part of his parents, ' for they might have availed themselves of the opportunities which the many charity schools of the town afforded, for the instruction of poor boys in elementary knowledge.' 3 But such neglect was inevitable the father still drank, and the mother was obliged to go out and char. Kitto did not gain a great deal by this desultory schooling ; his early attainments not extending further ' than reading, writing, and the imperfect use of figures.' The first speci- mens of writing which we have, about four years after this date, are legible, but by no means very elegant ; and as the occasional blunders in spelling and syntax in the same papers indicate, his English acquired at school was not to be measured by a very high standard. His ' granny ' once boasted that he was the best scholar in Plymouth ; but he blushed at the unmerited honour, arid rejected it, adding, however, as her apology, ' she did it ignorautly, but affectionately.' But his real, as distinct from his formal, education began under his grandmother's roof. The little fellow, seated quietly at her knee, was, for his amusement and occupation, taught by her to sew ; and such was his assiduity, that he exulted in having done the greater portion of a ' gay patchwork ' for her bed, besides having finished ' quilts and kettle-holders enough for two generations.' His fingers might, indeed, soon fall out of practice with needle aud 1 Letter addressed to Sir Walter Scott, found among his papers. * 1'reface to his first publication. * Ibid. B 18 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. scissors, but he was unconsciously training to that retired and patient industry which characterized his subsequent life of seclusion and silence. Then, too, from his grand- mother's lips, he came first to know the current lore of ghosts, hobgoblins, fairies, and witches ; and a lively shoe- maker, named Roberts, who dwelt in the same tenement, added his contribution of nursery literature, and repeated, with awl and cord in hand, the tales of Bluebeard and Cinderella, Jack the Giant-killer, and Beauty and the Beast. ' Assuredly,' says Kitto, in 1 832, ' never have I since felt so much respect and admiration of any man's talents and extent of information as those of poor Roberts.' The young listener was charmed. By and by, he found out that such wondrous stories were not mere traditions, to be heard only from the lips of his grandmother and the cordwainer, but that they might be actually seen in print, in Mrs Barnicle's shop-window, ay, and be had for a copper trifle. ' This information,' he says, ' first inclined me to reading.' He was at once induced to buy them, as often as he could afford the small expense. The passion grew upon him, and every spare penny went for the purpose. He willingly denied himself the dainties which his doting grandam would have provided for him no confections so witching as a picture-book, and no fruit so sweet as a nursery-rhyme. His desire of reading was indicated by his growing love of quietness, and by his decreasing relish for amusements out of doors, while it was nursed by the zealous watchings of his relative, who, when he was per- mitted to go out for a brief period to play, soon interrupted him by her loud call from the garret window, of ' Johnny, Johnny !' a sound, he pathetically adds, more than twenty years afterwards, 'which, notwithstanding my deafness, rings in my ears at this moment.' It was surely a kind Providence which was so disciplining him, that the work PASSION FOR BOOKS. 19 of his subsequent life did not necessitate a sudden and violent change of habit. He was thus, at a very early period, thrown much upon himself and upon books for his amusement, a proof, as he was wont to argue, that his love of literature was certainly not created, though it was ripened and confirmed, by his subsequent deafness. The books in his grandmother's possession were speedily explored ' a Family Bible, with plenty of engravings ; a Prayer-book ; Bunyan's Pilgrim ; and Gulliver's Travels.' ' The two last I soon devoured,' says he, ' and so much did I admire them, that, to increase their attractions, I decorated all the engravings with the indigo my grandmother used in washing, using a feather for a brush. Some one at last gave me a fourpenny box of colours, and between that and my books, I was so much interested at home, that I retained little inclination for play ; and when my grandmother ob- served this, she did all in her power to encourage those studious habits, by borrowing for me books of her neigh- bours.' All the books in the street passed speedily through his hands. Prior to his twelfth year, he had got into a new world, and he was at first bewildered by its variety. Nothing would satisfy him but book upon book. The voracious student was not at all backward in maintaining a supply by pen or tongue. His first efforts at composi- tion were written to the kind and obliging mistress of a neighbouring charity school, and were either requests for the loan of a volume, or apologies for putting the lender to so much trouble. ' Many of the old neighbours,' he says, ' will remember what a plague I was to them in this respect.' In fact, if he heard of a book being within reach, he pestered everybody about him till he got it. What he calls his ' first literary effort,' was at this time also achieved by him, and he has thought it of such importance, as to place it oil record himself. Nay, when looked at hi the light of his subsequent 20 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. career, it might be regarded as a propitious omen. The following is his amusing account of the transaction : 'My cousin came one day with a penny in his hand, declaring his intention to buy a book with it. I was just then sadly in want of a penny to make up fourpence, with which to purchase the history of King Peppin (not Pepin), so I inquired whether he bought a book for the pictures or the story ? " The story, to be sure." I then said, that in that case, I would, for his penny, write him both a larger and a better story than he could get in print for the same sum, and that he might be still further a gainer, I would paint him a picture at the beginning, and he knew there were no painted pictures in penny books. He expressed the satisfaction he should feel in my doing so, and sat down quietly on the stool to note my operations. When I had done, I certainly thought my cousin's penny pretty well earned ; and as, at reading the paper and viewing the picture, he was of the same opinion, no one else had any right to complain of the bargain. I believe this was the first penny I ever earned. I happened to recollect this circumstance when last at Plymouth, and felt a wish to peruse this paper, if still in existence ; but my poor cousin, though he remembered the circumstance, had quite for- gotten both the paper and its contents, unless that it was " something about what was done in England at the time when wild men lived in it " even this was further than my own recollection extended.' As the boy occasionally sauntered through the streets, and had so much time on his hand, he read all the play-bills posted on the walls ; and though he had never read or seen a play, he resolved to get up one the ' price of ad- mission being, ladies eight pins, gentlemen ten.' Dresse; were prepared, such as ribbons and sashes, caps an feathers, and the play was acted; the value of the pi THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE. 21 collected amounting to three halfpence. The drama was a tragedy, so sweeping in its mimic massacre, that only one little actress remained alive at the end ; and the audience, consisting of fifteen boys and girls, were perfectly satisfied with the performance. The whole affair was sufficiently childish, though Kitto was disposed to make his share the play-bill and the plot a proof of his literary progress. It is plain, from these statements, that Kitto's early love of reading was no whim, or mere childish curiosity, but that there was a craving for information awakened within him. He rose gradually, even in his boyhood, to a more select and useful class of books. The cousin referred to, and for whom the booklet was extemporized, was as fond of books as Kitto, and could far more easily procure them; but his love of reading soon passed away from him, and in his manhood he scarce turned the leaf of anything, ' save a jest-book or a song.' With him, literary relish was only a variety of juvenile caprice, and the ball and the book might, at any moment, change places in his fancy ; whereas in Kitto's case, the thirst for knowledge had really been excited, and, no matter how often baffled, it was never to be repressed. He enjoyed, at the same time, some re- ligious education, and could answer a few questions from the Church Catechism. He also attended church so often, as to have caught the manner of Dr Hawker the vicar, and be able to imitate it, to his grandmother's vexation, when he read the Bible to her. Yet no serious impression seems to have been made upon him : ' After,' says he, ' I had studied the engravings, and read so much of the text as seemed to explain these, I felt then no disposition to study the Bible further.' There was much in it to interest him, had he chosen to read it many scenes and stories that might have fascinated him both in the Old and New Testament ; but the time had not yet come when he was 22 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. to find it a refuge to the weary, and a balm to the smitten in heart, and when its illustration was to form the daily business of his life. But the sky was gradually lowering around him. His grandmother ceased, in 1814, to have any separate means of support, while age and disease were leaving their traces upon her. Reduced to poverty and attacked by paralysis, she was forced to go to live with her youngest daughter. Under his father's roof again, Kitto soon felt the sadden- ing change. The boy must do something for his main- tenance, and, in the spring of the year 1815, he was sent as a species of apprentice to a barber's shop. ' Old Wig- more,' as his facetious underling records, ' had practised on board a ship-of-war, arid related adventures which rivalled Baron Munchausen ; ' had a face so ' sour,' that it sickened one to look at it, and ' which was beside all over red by drinking spirituous liquors.' 1 While in Wigmore's service, he learned only so much of his art, as to be able to shave. For want of better occupation, he seems to have practised so frequently upon himself, as, by the age of sixteen, to have induced a growth of no ordinary thickness on his upper lip, while, by the repeated application of the scissors to his eye-brows, they acquired also a similar premature ' bushi- ness.' But, from this occupation, he was summarily dis- missed. His master's stock-in-trade, or at least his best razors, were put under Kitto's charge, and taken home by him every night. One morning, as he came up to the shop, with the precious implements of his calling under his arm, a woman in front of the unopened place of business, professed to be anxiously waiting for Wigmore, and that no time might be lost, she induced Kitto to leave his parcel with her, and run and call his master. As might have been anticipated, she was off before Kitto returned, and the 1 Workhouse Journal. THE RAZOR AND THE HOD. 23 surly old fellow discharged the little craftsman on suspicion of his being an accomplice of the thief. Kitto keenly felt the imputation, for his mere simplicity was branded as knavery. And thus ended his first and curious engagement. What, then, was the boy to do, but occasionally put on a smock-frock, and go out and assist his father? He did so, both in town and country the grieved witness and reporter of his parent's profligacy. When left at leisure at any time, he usually took to wandering in the fields, and among the rocks. He felt himself growing out of harmony with his home and the world around him. As his mind opened, he became more and more conscious of his un- happy lot. He confesses that he first ' knew what happi- ness was, by his own exclusion from it.' He pined for solitude with book in hand ' Away, away, from men and towns, To the wild woods and the downs ; To the silent wilderness, Where the soul need not repress Its moaning, lest it should not find An echo in another's mind.' In fact, morbid imaginations began at this time to gather upon him. Having picked up a dog's head, which had been long bleached on the sands, he at once determined to make it a sort of symbolical memento, and having given it a more ghastly appearance, by .reddening its jaws, and replenishing its eyeholes and mouth with artificial orbs and tongue, he hung up the grotesque teraphim at the foot of his bed. He had long sought in vain for a human skull, that he might place it in the same position. The abode of his father was old and tall, and John's dormitory, in the very apex of it, was of small dimensions, seven feet by four. It was ventilated by an aperture that admitted the wind, and could not exclude the rain, and was furnished 24 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. with a rickety table, framed originally to stand on three feet, but now sustaining itself with difficulty on two. This dark oak table was an old heirloom, and highly prized even in its decrepitude. The bed was in keeping with the table, and was by turns a seat and a couch, according as the strange inmate of the den wished to work or sleep. A chest was there, too, having its appropriate uses, with a box of smaller dimensions, holding pebbles and shells, and the other contents of his museum, and which was fastened with a string, passing through a huge and rusty padlock ' a satire on security.' The walls were spattered with such prints as he could afford to buy, and such drawings as he was able to execute. Here was his library of a dozen volumes, having among them a Bible ' imprinted by Barker in the days of Queen Elizabeth,' and here he continued, so far as his intermittent toil allowed, his habits of mis- cellaneous reading. His spirit was gladdened, amidst all his oppressions and wrongs, by such literary vigils. He made indexes to his books, and even then he delighted to hang over the lines of Young and Spenser. "We can easily imagine the sorrow of his grandmother, at the changed condition and shrouded prospects of her favourite. Per- haps she regarded his position in life as fixed, and sus- pected that, if his strength at all permitted, he would naturally follow his father's occupation. Who, at that moment, could have gainsaid such a prediction? But Providence interposed, and suddenly changed the entire current of events. On the 13th of February 1817, the elder Kitto was on- gaged in repairing the roof of a house in Batter Street, Plymouth. His slim and ragged son was, about half-past four in the afternoon, engaged in carrying up a load of slates, and, when in the act of stepping from the top of the ladder to the roof, he lost his footing and fell, a distance THE ACCIDENT. 25 of thirty-five feet, into the court beneath. There he lay insensible, bleeding profusely at mouth and nose. On being lifted, about five minutes after, consciousness re- turned for an instant, and he could not divine why he came there, or why so many people were staring at him. For more than a week, he continued in prostrate insensibility ; for four months, he was obliged to keep his bed, and he did not entirely recover his strength, till other four months had also elapsed. But the accident had deprived him wholly of the faculty of hearing. What injury was done to the organ was never ascertained, and no possible form of treatment could remove it. He was subjected to every variety of surgical torment and experiment, but all in vain. The action of the auditory nerve was completely paralysed, perhaps, as has been surmised, from the entire internal apparatus being gorged with blood. The sense was not simply dulled, it was extinguished. He became deaf, not comparatively, as if he could hear only a little, and that even with extreme pain and difficulty, but absolutely, for he could not hear at all. The base of the skull had also sustained some fracture beyond the reach of detection or reparation a sad supplement to his constitutional headache. In after years, Kitto often reflected upon the accident, and he virtually assigns no less than three causes for it. His first account of it in his Workhouse Journal (1820), enters into no such details, and the probability is, that the reasons ultimately urged, had really little to do with the matter, but are rather the suggestions of an inquisitive and introspective mind, which tried to connect the fall with some previous mental associations, through which he might have been thrown off his guard. The phenomenon has happened too often to be one of mystery. Any one may stumble, after he has often mounted a ladder, under a heavy burden much more a feeble boy like John Kitto 26 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. who never enjoyed great power of limb or firmness of step. It does not need any analysis of his previous thoughts to account for his mistake. He had climbed repeatedly with a portion of mortar and slates during the day ; and familiarity with the pathway may have induced a momen- tary carelessness. Or the frequent ascent may have so wearied his sinews, that when he had reached the sum- mit of the ladder, and a different muscular action was required, he had not the complete control of them. Or his knee-joints, stiffened with the short and hard jerk of so many steps up and down, repeated for so many hours, may not have stretched so far as he imagined, when he attempted to throw his foot on the eaves. In one ac- count, he refers to the anticipation of a wonderful book, which had been promised him by the town-crier for that evening; and in another, to the prospect of a smock- frock, on which' his grandmother had been a long time working, and which he greatly needed, for he was in tatters, ' out at elbows, out at shoulders, out at breast, out all over ;' and, lastly, he seems to impute the accident to the post mortem examination of a young sailor's body, going on in one of the rooms of the house on which his father was employed, the effect of which he had happened to notice, as he was ascending the ladder, in the form of bloody water spouting from the gutter. Were the last the true version, there would have been a physical source of unsteadiness vertigo or momentary faintness, which, how- ever, he does not affirm, but speaks simply of a ' shock ;' whereas the two former reasons adduced by him, could only have produced absence of mind. Besides, the third hypothesis would supersede the other suspected causes, which are purely mental, and which, moreover, had been just as powerful during the whole day, as at the fatal mo- ment. All the three could not well co-exist, and the cir- INCURABLE DEAFNESS. 27 cumstance of a post mortem dissection could hardly affect so deeply the nerves of one who had long tried, in various ways, to get the skull of a human skeleton, for the guardian symbol of his couch. On being carried home, the stunned youth lay in a trance of nearly a fortnight. At length he wakened up ' as from a night's sleep,' and perceived that it was two hours later than his usual time of rising, but he could not even move in bed. Many an hour he spent in ' trying to piece together his broken recollections,' so as to comprehend his position. How he learned that he had become deaf, is thus par- ticularly related by himself. There was profound silence in the room in which the pathetic scene took place, and alas ! that silence reigned around him ever afterwards. ' I was very slow in learning that my hearing was entirely gone. The unusual stillness of all things was grateful to me in my utter exhaustion ; and if, in this half-awakened state, a thought of the matter entered my mind,, I ascribed it to the unusual care and success of my friends in pre- serving silence around me. I saw them talking, indeed, to one another, and thought that, out of regard to my feeble condition, they spoke in whispers, because I heard them not. The truth was revealed to me in consequence of my solicitude about the book which had so much interested me on the day of my fall. It had, it seems, been reclaimed by the good old man, who had lent it to me, and who doubt- less concluded that I should have no more need of books in this life. He was wrong, for there has been nothing in this life which I have needed more. I asked for this book with much earnestness, and was answered by signs, which I could not comprehend. " Why do you not speak?" I cried ; " Pray, let me have the book." This seemed to create some confusion; and at length some one, more clever than the rest, hit upon the happy expedient of writ- 28 BIRTH AKD BOYHOOD. ing upon a slate, that the book had been reclaimed by the owner and that I could not, in my weak state, be allowed to read. ' But,' I said in great astonishment, " Why do you write to me ? why not speak ? Speak ! speak ! " Those who stood around the bed exchanged significant looks of concern, and the writer soon displayed upon his slate the awful words " You ARE DEAF."' 1 A more complete case of isolation can hardly be imagined. Had it not been for the boy's previous acquaintance with books, into what misery would he not have fallen ? How many, with such an infirmity, without education, and in his rank of life, taunted as useless, and tormented as semi- maniacs, would have sunk into objects of pity or contempt, would have fallen into the dregs of society, and disappeared in a nameless tomb in the pauper's or stranger's corner of the graveyard ! Had there not been a powerful principle within him, nursed and sustained by his eagerness for read- ing, he might, as has been the case with not a few in his social position and with his defect, have become sullen and discontented, out of harmony with himself, and in anta- gonism with all around him first a burden and then a pest. His own idea was, that ' such trials and deprivations have been generally found to paralyse exertion, and reduce the mind to idiocy, inducing a mere oblivion of thought and feeling.' What circumstances, then, could be so discouraging as those of Kitto a poor deaf boy, with none to care for him, none to guide him, or stimulate him to healthful mental exercise ? Such an inmate of such a home how helpless and how hopeless ! He was able to do little for himself before, and he could certainly do less now. The father might gain a penny from his son's toils once, but now he left him wholly to his own vagaries. His grandmother's 1 ' Lost Senses Deafness.' By John Kitto, D.D., pp. 11, 12. WAYS AND MEANS. 29 resources were exhausted too, and not a farthing to buy a book came into his possession. He resorted, therefore, to what he has graphically called, a ' Poor Student's Ways and Means.' He went down to Sutton Pool, 1 where the ' fishing trawlers ' and small coasters discharged their cargoes, and, wading among its black and fetid ooze and mire at low water, he groped, along with other boys, for pieces of rope, iron, and other nautical fragments. Some of his comrades could gather as much in a day, as amounted, when sold, to threepence ; but Kitto was never very nimble in his movements, and his weekly profits only swelled up once to fourpeuce. But he happened, on one occasion, to tread on a broken bottle, and such a wound put an imme- diate end to this form of industry. Then he turned to his box of paints, and bethought him of artistic employment, wondering, all the while, at the vulgarity of his previous occupation. Having laid out his capital sum of twopence on paper, he set about a series of paintings human heads, houses, flowers, birds, and trees. Grotesque they were, according to his own account ' faces all profiles, and all looking the same way ;' birds sufficiently weighty to ' bow to the dust' the branches on which they were awkwardly perched ; and flowers, ' generally in pots,' with a ' centre in all cases yellow, and with any number of petals.' But in describing this handicraft, he subjoins, with a simple honesty, ' Thus far I can now smile, but no further. I cannot smile when I recollect the intense excitement with which I applied myself to my new labours, and the glorious vision of coppers and reputation which attended my pro- gress. How knew I but, in process of time, my pictures might be pasted on the walls or over the mantel-pieces of most of the rooms in the lane where I lived ! This was The details are given by Kitto in two papers in the fourth volume of the Penny Magazine, pp. 218 and 227. 30 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. the extent of my ambition ; for I do aver that I did never, even in thought, aspire to the dignity of being framed. The boyish ambition that might thus be acquired among my compeers, was, however, a perfectly secondary object ; that which I wanted was money.' But his pictures were painted for sale, and not for criticism ; and being arranged in all their glory in his mother's window, he sat down behind it, and anxiously awaited customers. Few were attracted, for few passed the court, and fewer came in to buy. Yet, the average weekly income of the artist, from this source, was about twopence-halfpenny. Then he re- solved to have a 'standing' in Plymouth Fair, and wrought hard to provide his stall with an adequate supply of goods. The character of his wares attracted many spectators, and it was probably for his comfort, that he could not hear their remarks. Their staring curiosity annoyed him, but he gained a larger sum of money by this public sale, than he had ever before possessed. Certain labels in the win- dows of the lanes and outskirts of the town, had long been an eyesore to him. The spelling and writing were equally wretched ' Logins for singel men,' ' Rooms to leet en- quair withing.' He prepared neat and accurate substitutes, and took many a long and weary journey to dispose of his productions. Occasionally he succeeded, but as often he failed from bashfulness. The boy's infirmity sometimes secured him sympathy, and sometimes led to a testy rebuff; and his inability to talk about his articles made his customers, in one place, kind and generous, and in another, brief and surly in their dealings with him. The money gained from employment so precarious, was spent on books. Attachment to study might well have been chilled in a stripling who seemed to himself the most forlorn and helpless of human beings. Yet he read and pondered, frequented Mrs Bulley's circulating library, and BOOKS AND BOOKSTALLS. 31 contrived to plod his way through numerous volumes- many, indeed, of an inferior class, but others of a higher stamp and excellence. Still he loved to stroll into the country, or recline among the shelving crags with the surge beating at his feet, and to create for himself, through his reading and reverie, a temporary Elysium. There was a stillness around him, unbroken even by his own footfall. Wearied out after a day's solitary wandering, heart-sick at the misery and privation of his home, with bitter memories of the past, and dreary anticipations of the future, his only refuge was with his books, and in his little attic, where many a tedious hour was beguiled, and where the growing consciousness of intellectual strength could not but fre- quently cheer and sustain him. He used, at this time, and after being sent to the Workhouse, to go to Devonport, once almost every fortnight, to visit a bookstall in the market. He feasted among the volumes, and the keeper not only did not disturb him, but gave him books at the cheapest rate, in exchange for the few pence he had scraped together. 1 This man he reckoned a prince in generosity, and a perfect contrast to a ' sour old woman,' and a ' surly little man,' by whom two other stalls were kept, and who did not relish the sight of so ' shabby a fellow' handling their literary wares. And he naively adds, ' I had another more logical mode of reasoning on the matter, which settled it in my mind beyond any possibility of dispute, that my friend of Devonport market, and others of his kind in general, were, and must be, the happiest men in the world. If, I used to say, they sell the books, they are happy in the money they get ; but if they do not sell them, they are happy in the bool^s they retain.' 2 This 1 Old Aubrey, the antiquary, says of Hobbes, ' He took great delight to go to the bookbinders' and stationers' shops, and lye gaping on mapps.' * Letter to George Harvey, Esq., January 19, 1827. 32 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. period has been described by Kitto himself in the following eloquent terms : ' For many years I had no views towards literature beyond the instruction and solace of my own mind ; and under these views, and in the absence of other mental stimulants, the pursuit of it eventually became a passion, which devoured all others. I take no merit for the in- dustry and application with which I pursued this object, nor for the ingenious contrivances by which I sought to shorten the hours of needful rest, that I might have the more time for making myself acquainted with the minds of other men. The reward was great and immediate ; and I was only preferring the gratification which seemed to me the highest. Nevertheless, now that I am, in fact, another being, having but slight connection, excepting in so far as " the child is father to the man," with my former self; now that much has become a business which was then simply a joy ; and now that I am gotten old in ex- periences, if not in years, it does somewhat move me to look back upon that poor and deaf boy, in his utter lone- liness, devoting himself to objects in which none around him could sympathize, and to pursuits which none could even understand. The eagerness with which he sought books, and the devoted attention with which he read them, was simply an unaccountable fancy in their view ; and the hours which he strove to gain for writing that which was destined for no other eyes than his own, was no more than an innocent folly, good for keeping him quiet and out of harm's wa} r , but of no possible use on earth. This want of the encouragement which sympathy and appreciation give, and which cultivated friends are so anxious to bestow on the studious application of their young people, I now count among the sorest trials of that day ; and it serves me now as a measure for the intensity of my devotement to such CRAVING FOR SYMPATHY. 33 objects, that I felt so much encouragement within, as not to need or care much for the sympathies and encourage- ments which are, in ordinary circumstances, held of so much importance. I undervalue them not; on the con- trary, an undefinable craving was often felt for sympathy and appreciation in pursuits so dear to me ; but to want this was one of the disqualifications of my condition, quite as much so as my deafness itself ; and in the same degree in which I submitted to my deafness as a dispensation of Providence towards me, did I submit to this as its neces- sary consequence. It was, however, one of the peculi- arities of my condition, that I was then, as I ever have been, too much shut up. With the same dispositions and habits, without being deaf, it would have been easy to have found companions who would have understood me, and sympathized with my love for books and study, my progress in which might also have been much advanced by such intercommunication. As it was, the shyness and re- serve which the deaf usually exhibit, gave increased effect to the physical disqualification ; and precluded me from seeking, and kept me from incidentally finding, beyond the narrow sphere in which I moved, the sympathies which were not found in it. As time passed, my mind became filled with ideas and sentiments, and with various know- ledges of things new and old, all of which were as the things of another world to those among whom my lot was cast. The conviction of this completed my isolation ; and eventually all my human interests were concentrated in these points, to get books, and, as they were mostly bor- rowed, to preserve the most valuable points in their con- tents, either by extracts, or by a distinct intention to impress them on the memory. When I went forth, I counted the hours till I might return to he only pursuits in which I could take interest ; and when free to return, c 84 BIRTH AND BOYHOOD. how swiftly I fled to immure myself in that little sanc- tuary, which I had been permitted to appropriate, in one of those rare nooks only afforded by such old Elizabethan houses, as that in which my relatives then abode.' 1 This condition, so well depicted, did not last long. It was a cold gleam of sunshine in the last hour of a wintry day. Nor was it wholly beneficial to Kitto. He was be- coming too much the lord of himself, for he seems to have been gratified in all his caprices that did not involve pecu- niary outlay. The sympathy so naturally felt for him by his relations, inclined them to fondle and humour him. Nay, the child author and artist, was in danger of being admired as a prodigy. But a severe and curative pro- bation was before him. About the end of the year 1818, his grandmother was obliged to leave Plymouth, in order to reside at Brixton. The darling grandchild could not accompany her, and he was left alone with his parents, and entirely dependent on them. Ah ! then did he suffer. His father was unreformed : vice had turned his heart into a stone, and he was insensible alike to his own disgrace, the degradation of his wife, and the cries of his young ones for bread. It was certainly no merit of his that his famishing children preserved their honesty, and did not stray into those courses toward which temptation is ever pointing so many in quest of food and raiment. For months was the boy a pitiable spectacle pinched with hunger, shivering in rags, and crawling about with exposed and bleeding feet. A picture of more abject wretchedness could not be found, than this deaf and puny starveling. Every prospect was closed upon him, and to screen him from ' cold, and hunger, and nakedness,' he was, on the 15th of November 1819, admitted into the Plymouth Workhouse. 2 The sorrow 1 'Lost Senses Deafness,' pp. 76 78. 1 This workhouse, originally founded in 1630, was called the ' Hospital of the HOSPITAL OF THE POOR'S PORTION. 35 and want of his home had been long notorious ; the neigh- bourhood was scandalized at his daily and hopeless pri- vations ; charity was roused at length to interfere without regard to his wishes and feelings ; and, therefore, as the last and unwelcome resource, he was seized and sent to the common receptacle of aged and juvenile pauperism and wretchedness. Poor's Portion.' A new one has now been erected in a different part of the town. The old building stills stands, however, in its comparative desolation, as when we saw it in the beginning of last year. It had been tenanted a short time before by about fifty Emancipadoes from Cuba negroes who had purchased their freedom, and who were on their way to Lagos and Abeokuta. Our friend Dr Tregelles and his lady, with others, were very attentive to them. Services in Spanish were held with them every Lord's Day, as well as many meetings during the week. The old workhouse seemed alive again with its sable inmates, and the Christian efforts did not appear to be without fruit CHAPTER II. THE WORKHOUSE. SOME stratagem was necessary to secure the lad's entrance into the workhouse, for he was wild and shy ; and when he learned that he was in virtual captivity, his sorrow was without bounds. But the wayward and defiant pauper submitted, in course of time, to the salutary curb ; and he was in need of it, for he had long moved simply as it pleased him, and acted under no law but that of his own moods, which brooked neither challenge nor control. Not only were the order and discipline of the workhouse of essential service to him, but his fellowship with the other boys was also of immense advantage. It revealed to him various aspects of human nature, and tended to soften such misanthropic asperities as solitude is apt to produce. It gave employment also to his pen, and his facility of com- position eventually drew attention to him. He had been going down the valley of humiliation, and the workhouse was the lowest step but one in the descent. For there was still another, and a deeper one ; but it was the last, and the next step beyond it commenced the up-hill jour- ney. Kitto's desultory life, prior to his entry into the workhouse, would never have brought him into obser- vation ; but now his power was more concentrated, and he gradually came into closer contact with the benevolent Governor and the Board of Guardians. If he felt acuter THE AWL AND THE PEN. 87 misery, he had also acquired a keener power of telling it ; and such a power in such a narrator, could not but excite surprise. If he had to make complaints, his fearless utter- ance usually secured redress ; and if he was obliged to enter into self-vindication, the cleverness of his advocacy was at least as conspicuous as the rectitude of his conduct. Mr Roberts, who was governor of the workhouse at the time of his admission, treated him kindly, and permitted him some indulgences, even so far as sleeping at home ; and Mr Burnard, his successor, was Kitto's kind friend and sympathizing correspondent through his whole eventful career. The youth was set to learn the making of list- shoes, under Mr Anderson, the beadle, and he grew, in no long time, to be a proficient in the business. Probably his friends were happy that now he might be able at least to maintain himself, and that there was something between him and abject penury. Within a year of his entering the workhouse, he began to keep a journal, and this curious and extraordinary document 1 is the best record of this portion of his life and progress. For this purpose, there- fore, we shall freely employ it. It might perhaps be supposed that a lad, brought up as John Kitto had been, in comparative pauperism, should be a stranger to delicacy of feeling. It might be imagined that the hardship of his condition could not but blunt any mental refinement, and that therefore now, within the walls of a workhouse, he had more than ordinary reason for con- tentment among boys of his own years and class. What is thus surmised might be true of many, perhaps of the majority, in Kitto's circumstances; but it was certainly not true of him. He was painfully conscious of his degra- 1 Kitto mentions, in a letter to Mr Burnard, from Bagdad, that he had found some of his early papers, which had escaped the flames to which, some time pre- viously, he had committed his early MSS. The papers thus accidentally preserved, seem to have been the Workhouse Journal. 38 THE WORKHOUSE. datioii. In spite of all he suffered, he never sank into callousness. What he might have been ever stood out to him in sad contrast to what he was, and his present con- dition was out of all harmony with his ideal prospects. He felt, and he keenly felt, so that in his Journal, when he becomes sentimental or sketchy at any time, or describes what enjoyments he coveted, or what anticipations feasted him, he suddenly and testily checks himself, and cries, ' But what has a workhouse boy to do with feelings?' or, ' The word pauper sticks in my throat.' The interesting quarto is styled, ' Journal and Memo- randum, from August 12, 1820, by John Kitto, jun.' The motto on the title-page, might have been ascribed to undue self-appreciation, had it not been vindicated by his subse- quent career 1 Full many a gem of purest ray serene, The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear, Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, And waste its sweetness on the desert air.' The volume is, 'with reverence, inscribed to the me mory of Cecilia Picken, my Grandmother, and the dearest friend I ever had,' etc. It was an odd thing for a pauper boy to think of such a project as keeping a diary. It shows, at least, that his mind was stirring, and that he was re- solved to exercise himself in observation and in composition. When was a journal compiled in such circumstances amidst such physical and social disadvantages by a deaf boy in a poorhouse, of whom no higher estimate was formed, than that he might be a passable shoemaker, and for whom no loftier wish was entertained than that he might be able to maintain himself by his craft, and without being an expense to the community ! Compassion was felt for him, but no hopes were cherished about him. Men blamed the father and pitied the child, and then thought SELF-PORTRAIT. 39 no more of him, but as the victim of complicated and re- peated misfortunes. As to his motive in writing it, he says, that as he had no time to finish his drawings, and they did not sell when finished, and as he could not command a sufficient quantity of books, so he thought that writing was a good substitute, both for painting and reading. He adds, too, that he adopted the plan of a journal as a useful thing as some- thing to instruct others years hence (if he should be spared), in the misfortunes and sorrows of his early years, while he admits that there may be a little bit of human vanity in the resolution. But the Journal has realized its purpose. What, in fact, would the record of his early life be with- out it? The following is his description of himself racy and rather picturesque, though several features of the external portraiture were subsequently modified or toned down by the higher physical culture which he afterwards en- joyed : ' Yesterday I completed my sixteenth year of age, and I shall take this opportunity of describing, to the best of ray ability, my person, in which description I will be no egotist. I am four feet eight inches high ; and, to begin with my head, my hair is stiif and coarse, of a dark brown colour, almost black ; my head is very large, and, I believe, has a tolerable good lining of brain within. My eyes are brown and large, and are the least exceptionable part of my person ; my forehead is high, my eyebrows bushy ; my nose is large, mouth very big, teeth well enough, skin of my face coarse ; my limbs are not ill-shaped ; my legs are rt-e/Z-shaped, except at their ends they have rather too long a foot ; when clean, my hands are very good ; my upper lip is graced, or rather disgraced (as in these degenerate days the premature down of manhood is reckoned a dis- 40 THE WORKHOUSE. grace ! how unlike the grave and wise Chinese, who envy us fortunate English nothing but our beards) with a beard.' There was indeed something peculiar in his appear- ance : ' March 30. I observe that my decorated lip exposes me to observation, and that when I walk along the streets, all men, women, and children, do me the honour to stare me in the face. I got leave to come out this afternoon, and shaved myself with my father's razor.' In a fragmen- tary autobiography, dated June 26, 1823, he writes, ' My manners are awkward and clownish. I am short in stature, stoop much in walking, and walk as though I feared I should fall at every step, with my hands almost always, when I walk, in my pockets.' ' October 7. When I go any where, I am almost afraid to meet any of my own sex ; there is, it seems, something- about me that exposes me to observation, and makes me stared at ; and I find, by experience, that the best way to come off well, is riot to avert the face, but to look uncon- cerned, stare at them in return, and assume an impudent look. What a world is this, in which modest bashfulness is contemned, and impudence caressed!' His deafness, ' laboured asthmatic breathing,' and appar- ent powerlessness, often made him the butt of the other boys in the hospital, and he was obliged to make sudden and smart reprisals. ' October 12. When afterward, in the evening, Torr was making faces at me again in the court-yard, I could bear it no longer, but gave him such a blow as made him fall down. You cannot imagine, Madam, 1 how this seeming trifle provoked me. ' October 22. I to-day experienced the truth of the maxim, that meanness is a medal, the reverse of which is insolence* * The diary often addresses some ideal personage. REPKISALS. 41 When I was waiting under the porch till Mr Barnard should pass by, to ask leave to come out, one of the blue- coat boys, named Peters, kept making faces at me. At first I treated his foolery with the contempt it deserved, by taking no notice of it. But at last he provoked me so far, by attempting to pull my nose, that (though no boxer, and not over courageous) I gave him a blow on the forehead, with such good will, as made him reel to the opposite wall, and brought the water into his eyes. When I had done so, I fully expected a return of the favour, but he, so far from resenting it, desisted from his foolery, and soon sneaked off- ' March 21. At eight o'clock, as we were going to prayers, Rowe gave me an unprovoked blow on the back, and ran away. I pursued him, and hemmed him into a corner, when, finding he could not escape, he placed him- self in a pugilistic attitude ; but a few blows made him stoop to defend his ears, and at the same time to pick up a bone and a large cinder to throw at me. While I was disarming him of those missile weapons, I was attacked in the rear by ten or twelve boys, who delight in mischief. Having disarmed Rowe, I turned against my new opponents, and, discharging a bone at one, and a cinder at another, and some blows among the rest, put them all to flight.' Sometimes, when bad boys were flogged, Kitto was se- lected to hold their legs, probably because, from his ina- bility to hear their cries, he was under no temptation to slacken his grasp. The next extract is a reflection, in his own style, upon his early disaster. ' October 9. I found, on coming to my senses, that I had just been bled, and that by my fall I had lost my hearing, and from that time to this there has " Not to me returned The sound of voice responsive, no feast divine 42 THE WORKHOUSE. Of reason, nor the ' flow of soul,' nor sports Of wit fantastic : from the cheerful speech Of men cut off, and intercourse of thought And wisdom." 1 ' I did not entirely recover my strength till eight months after, four of which I kept my bed from weakness, during which time I had leeches applied to my temples and under my ears, also an issue on my neck, besides taking plenty of nauseous physic all to no purpose as to my deafness, for I do not expect to hear any more. Ever since, after dark or sunset, and in a great measure in the day, I have always had an irregular uneven pace and a labouring gait, and after dark I stagger like a drunken man. Thus, you see, no sooner had youthful fancy begun to sport in the fairy fields of hope, than all my hopes anticipated, and present pleasures and happiness, were, by this one stroke, de- stroyed. ! ye millions, who enjoy the blessing of which I am deprived, how little do ye know how to appreciate its enjoyment ! Man is of such a fickle nature, that he ever slights the pleasures he has, to sigh for those he has not. However, I will attempt to give you an idea of my de- privation. Fair lady, how should you like to forego the incense of flattery (so gratifying to female vanity) offered you by the admiring throng ? I believe, my Lord, you would regret being deprived of the fulsome adulation offered you daily by abject (pardon me, my Lord) sycophants. Sir, who are you ? What are those who extol you to the skies? You are a wonder, I must own a rich poet. Yet, remember, it is not to your poetical or personal merit they pay homage, but to your wealth you owe it; nor forget that such men as those who flatter you, could suffer, unmoved, an Otway, a Chatterton, and many others, to die " unpitied " I had almost added, " unknown " the for- 1 Imitated from Milton, by Miss Palmer. STRANGE CONTRASTS. 43 mer of want, and the latter of ; but let me not with- draw the veil benevolence has thrown over his memory. Should you, Sir, like to be deprived of this degrading flattery ? Ye men of genius, and of wit ! Ye patriots and statesmen ! Ye men of worth and wisdom ! Ye chaste maids aud engaging matrons ! And ye men of social minds ! Should you like to be " From the cheerful speech Of men cut off, and intercourse of thought And wisdom?" If not, guess my situation, now I am grown somewhat misanthropic, with no consolation but my books and my granny.' He had passed through the fire, and the smell of singe- ing was upon him. But he never sank into 'A grief without a pang, void, dark, and drear, A stifled, drowsy, unimpassioned grief, Which finds no natural outlet, no relief In word, or sigh, or tear.' Strange it is to find the editor of the Pictorial Bible thus recording of himself : ' I was to-day most wrongfully accused of cutting off the tip of a cat's tail. They did not know me who thought me capable of such an act of wanton cruelty. ' June 2. I am making my own shoes. ' June 9. I have finished my shoes they are tolerably strong and neat. ' August 14. I was set to close bits of leather. ' August 15. Said bits of leather that I had closed, were approved of, and I was sent to close a pair of women's shoes, which were also approved of. ' August 16. I was most unaccountably taken from what I had just begun to learn, to go to my old work (making of list shoes), in which I arn perfect as it is possible to be. 44 THE WORKHOUSE. 8 who, without being acquainted with the structure of a list shoe, dictates to us who are, without any autho- rity but that of being a man (a very little one too), and bids us, under pain of the stirrup, make a pair of shoes per diem, which is particularly hard on me, who, besides doing my own work, am obliged to teach the rest. ' November 14. I forgot to mention that, on Monday, I had been a year in the workhouse, during which time I have made seventy-eight pairs of list shoes, besides mend- ing many others, and have received, as a premium, one penny per week. ' November 20. Set to tapping leather shoes to-day.' In striking contrast with these revelations about list and leather, tapping and closing, waxing and sewing, occurs the following entry, which proves that the mind of the pauper shoemaker was not only busy, but stretching far above and beyond the walls of the workhouse : ' I burnt a tale of which I had written several sheets (quarto), which I called " The Probationary Trial," but which did not, so far as I wrote, please me.' The discipline of the workhouse was occasionally admin- istered in profusion, and on a somewhat miscellaneous prin- ciple. He records that, on one occasion, having finished his shoes, and when he was waiting for the soles of others to be cut out, he began to ' write a copy ' for Kelly, and had only written one letter, when the beadle came in, and ' gravely gave us a stirruping all round ' idleness being the alleged ground of the castigation. Among the most interesting entries in the Journal, are those relating to his grandmother, who had nursed and watched him with more than maternal fondness and self- denial, and whom he regarded with more than filial affec- tion. On the first page occurs the following entry, which we copy as it stands : THE FIRST GREAT SORROW. 45 4 1819. Granny has been absent in Dock this 2 days. Tho' but for so short a period I severely feel her absence. If I feel it so acutely now, how shall I bear the final sepe- ration when she shall be gone to that "undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns?" She cannot be expected to live many years longer, for now she is more than 70 years of age. 0, Almighty Power, spare yet a few years my granny the protector of my infancy, and the . . . I cannot express my gratitude. It is useless to attempt it.' His interviews with this relative are the epochs of hi* 1 life. He carefully notes her gifts to him, is rejoiced when she is pleased, and sadly dismayed when he hears of her being in a ' fine taking ' about any domestic occurrence. After nu- merous incidental allusions, he writes : ' April 16. Granny is worse again. She seems almost unconscious of everything ; yet she knows me, for she held out her hand to me when I was going. ' April 17. She does not know me \ she is speechless. Aunt tells me that the surgeon has given her over that she is dying. ' April 18. She is dead.' This was the sensitive and affectionate boy's first great sorrow. ' April 20, Good Friday, Being now a little recovered from the first shock, I have, after several attempts, sum- moned courage to detail particulars. On Wednesday even- ing, when I came out [from the workhouse], I trod softly up stairs lest I should disturb her repose. Useless pre- caution \ Aunt met me at the head of the stairs, in tears. I entered ; a white sheet over the bed met my view. She was dead \ Think you I wept ? I did not weep \ Tears are for lesser sorrows ; my sensations were too powerful for tears to relieve me. The sluices of mv eves were dried \ 46 THE WORKHOUSE. My brain was on fire ! Yet I did not weep. Call me not a monster because I did not weep. I have not wept these four years : but I remember I have, when a boy, wept for childish sorrows. Then why do I not weep for this great affliction ? Is not this a contradiction ? Am I hard of heart ? God forbid that tears should be the test, for I felt I felt insupportable agony. ' Even to an indifferent person the sight of a dead per- son awakens melancholy reflections ; but when that person is connected by the nearest ties oh, then when I saw the corpse when I saw that those eyes which had often watched my slumbers, and cast on me looks of affection and love, were closed in sleep eternal ! those lips which often had prest mine, which often had opened to soothe me, tell me tales, and form my infant mind, are pale and motionless for ever! when I saw that those hands which had led, caressed, and fed me, were for ever stiff and motionless when I saw all this, and felt that it was for ever, guess my feelings, for I cannot describe them. Born to be the sport of fortune, to find sorrow where I hoped for bliss, and to be a mark for the giddy and the gay to shoot at what I felt at the deprivation of my almost only friend, the reader can better conceive than I can describe. Yet that moment will ever be present to my recollection to the latest period of my existence. Gone for ever ! that is the word of agonizing 1 poignancy. Yet not for ever a few short years at most, and I may hope to meet her again there is my consolation. Joyful meeting ! yet a little while to bear this " Fond restless dream which idiots hug, Nay, wise men flatter with the name of Life," and we may meet again. Already I anticipate the moment when, putting off this frail garb of mortality, and putting on the robe of immortality, of celestial brightness and MUSINGS ON IMMORTALITY. 47 eplendour, in the presence of our God we may meet again ; meet again, never to part ; never again to be subject to the frail laws of mortality to be above the reach of sorrow, temptation, or sickness to know nought but hap- piness celestial happiness and heaven ! Accursed be the atheist who seeks to deprive man of his noblest privilege of his hopes of immortality of a motive to do good, and degrade him to a level with the beast which browses on the grass of the fields. What were man without this hope f I knelt and prayed for her departed spirit to Him in whose hands are life and death, and that He would endue us with resignation to His decrees, for we know that He had a right to the life which He gave. 1 Her countenance is not in the least distorted, but calm and placid, like one asleep.' ' April 23, Easter Monday. The day before yesterday being the day prior to my grandmother's funeral, and not being certain that I should be able to come out early enough to be present, as it would take place at nine o'clock, I determined to take what might eventually be a last view of the revered remains. I raised the cloth it was dusk the features were so composed that I was for a few moments deceived, and thought it sleep. I pressed my lips to her forehead ; it was cold as monumental mar- ble ! cold for ever ! A thousand recollections rushed upon me, of her tenderness and affectionate kindness to me. She, who was now inanimate before me, was, a short time since, full of life and motion ; on me her eye then beamed with tenderness, and affection dwelt in each look. When I was sick, she had watched my feverish pillow, and was my nurse ; when I was a babe, she had fondled, caressed, and cherished me ; in short, she had been more * This language is only, in Kitto's rase, the vehement expression of attachment and sorrow. It meant little more than an earnest hope that his grandmother had gone to heavenly glory- i8 THE WORKHOUSE. than a mother to me. And this friend, this mother, I never was to behold again. A thousand bitterly pleasing instances of her kindness to me occurred to my recollection, and I found a kind of melancholy pleasure in recalling them to remembrance. I gazed on each well-known fea- ture. I kissed her clay-cold cheek and pallid lips. I remembered how often my childish whims had vexed her. I remembered how I had sometimes disobeyed her earnest and just commands. I mentally ejaculated, " that she would but come again ! I think I'd vex her so no more." Fruitless wish ! Will the grim tyrant death give up his prey ? Will the emancipated soul return to its dreary pri- son ? Ought I to wish it ? " No ! " said reason ; " No ! " said religion : such a convincing " No !" they uttered, that I blushed for the wish. Shall I, a frail mortal, wish that undone which my Maker has done, and by implication censure His decrees ? If (as we may hope) she be happy, will she not grieve to see us repining at her bliss ? I will try to be resigned. I thought of all this ; but yet I did not weep ; for 'twas not a tear my eyes water sometimes ; I did not weep ; it certainly was not a tear that fell from my eyes as I leant over the open coffin, but it was pro- bably caused by my looking stedfastly at one object. I continued bending over the coffin till darkness hid the features entirely from my sight, and then tore myself away.' Who would surmise that these paragraphs, so fluent and correct, so vivid and tender, were written within the walls of a workhouse, by a deaf and disabled stripling, almost uneducated, wholly unpractised in composition, and seated, in pauper livery, on a tripod from morning til night, working at a list shoe on his lap ? GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL. 49 ' April 24. About a quarter past eight on Easter Sun- day, my father went to Mr Burnard, and got leave for me to come out. Crape was put round my hat. . . How unable are the trappings of woe to express the sorrow doubly felt within ! I looked once more and for the last time on the corpse, once more and for the last time pressed her cold lips, and then she was shut from my view for ever ! I felt a something at my heart that moment, which baffles description. I felt as though I could have freely given my life to prolong hers a few years. What ! had I viewed for the last time her who was my only bene- factor, parent, and friend, and was I never to see her more ? " No ! " whispered doubt ; " Yes ! " said faith ; and she was right. . . At the appointed time we walked in " sad array " behind the coffin first, Uncle John and Aunt Mary. . . There were about forty persons present : the service was read by Dr Hawker's curate ; the coffin was deposited in the grave and covered with earth. . . The moment in which the coffin which contains the re- mains of a beloved relative, is hid from our sight, is, per- haps, a moment of greater agony than at their demise, for then we have still the melancholy consolation of contem- plating the features of the beloved object ; but when that sad and gloomy comfort is taken from us, the feelings of our loss occur with accumulated force ; we consider what, a short time since, the contents of the coffin were, and what, in a short time, they will be ; we consider that, in our turn, we shall be conveyed to a similar, if not to the same place, and in our turn be wept over with transient tears, and soon be forgotten. I thought the man almost guilty of sacrilege, and could have beaten him, who threw the earth so unconcernedly on her remains. " Why does he not weep?" I internally asked. "Why does not every human being join with me in lamenting her loss ! " D 50 THE WORKHOUSE. But I shall not attempt to describe my feelings ; they were such, that the moment when I stood on the brink of the grave, eagerly looking on the coffin till the earth con- cealed it, I shall never forget till the hand that writes this shall be as hers, and the heart that inspires it shall cease to beat. When we came home I felt a kind of faintness com- ing over me, and if Aunt Mary had not timely rubbed my temples with cold water, I should have fainted. Grand- mother is buried on the left hand side of the aisle, opposite the steeple, near the church door (Charles' Church), be- neath the headstone erected to the memory of her grand- children.' Still Kitto could freely criticise the perfunctory manner in which he thought the funeral service had been gone through. But the next entry reveals the lacerated state of his heart, and opens up a glimpse of his unhappy home. 4 April 27. In consequence of the loss of this revered relative, I already begin to feel a vacuum in my heart, which it is impossible to describe. Who shall supply her place ? Nature points to my mother. . . While she (grandmother) lived, I had no cause to regret the want of kindness in any other person. But now, alas ! she is gone, and I feel myself an isolated being, unloving and unloved ; for whom this world, young as I am, has few charms. . . ' When I return from the restraint of the workhouse, the rooms look desolate, for she is not there. She who greeted me with looks and smiles of affection is not there ! She who prepared my tea, and rejoiced if she had some little delicacy to offer me, is not there ! She who chode me if I left her even a short time, is not there ! In short, she who loved me, is not there ! Who shall supply her place ? My mother, or my aunt ? My mother ! it must be so, it shall be so. To do her justice, she has been very kind to me since the sad event, and so has aunt. Yes, ' SAD DOUBTS AND QUESTIONS. 51 mother has been very kind. She knows, amongst other things, that my grandmother's death would deprive me of the means of getting almost the only thing I value books : therefore, with great kindness and consideration, my father wrote, by her direction I suppose, " I will give you the money to get the books." " Indeed," I said, " but do you know how much it will come to?" "No." " Why, you know," I said, " I have got a penny per week at the work- house, and I change my books (two vols. small, or one large vol.) three times a week, and pay a penny each time ; that penny will pay but for one of those changes." Father wrote, " You shall never want twopence the week." Was not this kind ? very kind, I think. I shall have no occasion to put their kindness in this last instance to the test as yet ; but will this kindness last ? Will they not, when they think the edge of my grief is blunted, relapse into their former indifference ? I expressed this doubt to my mother. She assured me of her continued kindness, and that she would see this last act of it duly performed. I would have said, but did not 0, my mother ! representative of the dear friend I have lost, would that I were certain that this kindness would continue ; would that I were certain that your present kindness would never cease, and that while I am in need of your aid, you will continue to accord it to me ; and then, when manhood shall have nerved my arm, and age have enfeebled yours, and you will need the aid of your children, how happy shall I be, and feow shall I exult to be able to step forward and say?* " My father, and my mother ! while I was yet a boy and needed your help, you granted it me; then, my parents, how I longed for opportunity to show my gratitude ! The time is come, and now you need it ; as you once offered me your aid, so now I offer you mine, henceforth let all mine be yours." . . I think I could love my mother almost as well as I did love 52 THE WORKHOUSE. my grandmother.' And in his mother's old and infirm days he did verify his wish. ' June 10. I have been to aunt's ; was received kindly; before I came away uncle wrote, " You must come out here as often as you can, for it was the dying request of your grandmother that we should be kind to you" And did she think of me ! to the last anxious for me interested even in death for my welfare ! and making friends for me ! My only friend ! my revered benefactor ! my dearest grand- mother ! in death didst thou think of me ! Oh that I had been present ! Yet, no, I could not have borne it. Father ! receive her soul into Thy mercy, and guide my steps in the intricate paths of human life, beset as it is with thorns and briars, with temptations and sorrows : and if it be Thy pleasure that I should drink the cup of human misery and affliction to the very dregs even then, Lord, in the midst of all, grant me strength that I may not swerve from Thy will, nor murmur at Thy decrees ; for well I know that whatsoever Thou doest is just and right, and that, though Thy commandments teack me to resist the dominion of my senses, they, in the end, lead to the eternal mansions of the blessed. I humbly pray Thee, my God, that there I may at last arrive, through Jesus Christ, and there meet her who has gone before nre.' He had sad doubts that the affettion now shown by some of his nearest relatives would soon cool, and he felt that then he should be desolate indeed Thus he sobs ' Why do I feel? why dare I think? Am I not a workhouse boy? My father, if you could but imagine what, through your means, I suffer, you would Begone pen, or I shall go mad.' Whatever appealed to Kitto's eye gratified him ; and among his ocular amusements, the ' shows ' at Plymouth fair occupied a prominent place. A fair was great or small, in his boyish estimation, in proportion to the number and SENSE OF DESOLATION. 53 splendour of such exhibitions. What he saw he describes in his journal with picturesque minuteness : the transpa- rencies and pictures; an 'ill-looking pock-marked dwarf,' or a giantess so plump and fleshy as to ' make the mouth of an anatomist water.' The various devices and blazon- ries, stars and fireworks, first on the conclusion of Queen Caroline's trial, and then at the King's coronation, were a special treat to him. But his deafness occasionally filled his soul with sad regrets. The constables had on one oc- casion collected into the workhouse all the unfortunate women of the town. Kitto gazed on the scene with melan- choly, and moralized upon the lost creatures ' covered with shame, abandoned by friends, shunned by acquaintances, and thrown on the wide world insulted with reproach, denied the privilege of penitence, cut off from hope, im- pelled by indigence, and maddened by despair.' After ser- vice, ' one of the best gentlemen in Plymouth addressed them, so that many of them wept, as well as five-sixths of all the people in the room. Even I,' he adds, ' had almost wept from sympathy.' In recording this, there came upon him at once the overpowering sense of his own desolation. And he writes, October 15, in touching moans : ' Yet I alone was insensible to the inspiration that flowed from his lips. To all, insensible ! Devotion! oratory! music! and eloquence ! To all of ye alike insensible !' In a similar cheerless spirit he soliloquizes : ' . . . I should be inconsolable under my great mis- fortune, were it not for the conviction, that it is for wise purposes the Almighty Power has thought proper to chas- tise me with the rod of affliction. And dare I, a worm, the creature of His will, to repine at His behests ? Besides, He has declared, " Those whom I love I rebuke and chasten." But whither do I wander? Dare I to think that an accident was His infliction ? Dare I to hope that 54 THE WORKHOUSE. the Omniscient will deign, when I pray, to attend to my supplications? I dare not 'twere presumption 'twere almost impiety to think He would incline His ear to such a one as me me, of all my species created the inferior me, whom each eye views with contempt who am mocked, buffeted, and despised. And why am I thus treated with contumely ? Because I am unfortunate ! And does mis- fortune render me inferior in Thy eyes, my God ? No, for Thou hast said, Thou art no respecter of persons. Thou hearest alike the king on his throne, and the beggar on his dunghill. Though man treats me with contumely, Thou wilt not be less merciful. Pardon my doubt, which had dared to prescribe limits to Thy mercy, and endue me with resignation to kiss the salutary rod with which Thou (I dare almost say it) chastisest me. . . I fear I am de- plorably ignorant in religious matters.' The language employed in the preceding and succeeding paragraphs is scarcely that of a quiet resignation, but rather of a stubborn acquiescence. The youth who had suffered such degradation from a father's intemperance as now to be a pensioner on a public charity, and who had, by a mysterious Providence, been suddenly bereft of a precious faculty, succumbed, indeed, to his lot, but at first with seeming reluctance, and with a strange curiosity to ' cast the measure of uncertain evils.' ' 1821, January 1. Welcome 1821 ! Though thy greet- ing is but rough (uncommonly cold), boding a year of as great events as thy predecessor, I pray God that, as I am conscious I have but ill performed my duty as an account- able being the preceding year, and that my lot in life is but low, He will deign to look on the most humble of His creatures, and blot out of the book of His remembrance the sins I have committed heretofore ; to endue me with fortitude to bear with resignation whatsoever misfortunes QUEEN CAROLINE'S TRIAL. 55 may yet assail me, and to enable me to resist temptation, the allurements of vice, and even my own thoughts when they lead to ill ; and to enable me, if it be His pleasure, to drink the cup of misfortune to the very dregs, without repining ; and, finally, through all my life to make me bear in mind that this life is but a probationary trial, to fit us for a greater and a better state hereafter.' Kitto's powers of composition were in the meanwhile improving, and he criticises public characters in a free and independent style. The first sentence of the following description is felicitous. It was inserted in his diary on learning the Queen's acquittal. Many glowing sentences were written at the period : the eloquent declamation and satire of Brougham and Denman thrilled the nation ; but the hearty and stirring tribute of the obscure workhouse cobbler has never been printed before. 1 November 14. Bells ringing, flags flying, and almost every person rejoicing, on the occasion of innocence and the Queen being triumphant ; for the bill of pains and penalties was withdrawn on Saturday, November 10th, by the Earl of Liverpool, from the House of Peers. The day on which the Queen was victorious over slander and re- venge will ever claim a distinguished place in the annals of this country a day on which slander, perjury, and guilt were vanquished by innocence and truth. This trial has been such a one continued scene of iniquity as has not been equalled since the time of the Tudors (except in the in- stance of Charles I. and Louis XVI.) Last week has shown these are not such days as those unenlightened days in which the tyrannic Henry swayed despotically the sym- bol of mercy those days when Britons could tamely see an innocent Queen (Anne Boleyn) led to the scaffold on a pretended charge of adultery. No ! Such days are over ; and now the generous character of Britain will not suffer 56 THE WORKHOUSE. an unprotected female to be persecuted with impunity. Not unprotected neither ! She cannot be called unpro- tected who has the hearts of two-thirds of all Britain warmed with enthusiasm in her cause ; and experience has shown that their hearts are no despicable protection. The conclusion of this iniquitous transaction has over- whelmed the enemies of the Queen with shame and con- fusion. Greater part of Britain will be illuminated in the course of the week Plymouth on Wednesday. ' IGth. Plymouth was illuminated last night.' The next excerpt, in a different strain, is a meditation on the death of Napoleon. It betokens the interest taken in public matters by the young recluse, who never ' saw a newspaper to read till he was nearly twenty years of age.' ' July 6. Learned that Napoleon Buonaparte died on the 6th of May, of a cancer in his stomach. He was ill forty days. I doubt not but that the public journals, newspapers, etc., have detailed all the particulars of his exit from the theatre of the world, in which he has shone as a meteor a meteor of destructive influence ; and I shall only give a few observations on his character, according to my idea of it. 1 That he had talents, no man who has attentively considered his conduct and character can doubt; but such talents! He was an innate tyrant he introduced himself to notice by his eminence in adulation and cruelty. That he was a cruel man, his conduct has always shown. Witness the dreadful Bridge of Lodi, the massacre of Jaffa, and the poisoning his own sick soldiers. He was more than suspected as the murderer of the Duke d'Enghien. I consider him as a man who, from the earliest period of public life, was resolved to let no considerations of honour, religion, humanity, or any other consideration, to interfere 1 The page is adorned with a portrait of Napoleon, done in glaring colours, and looking rather fierce, and is said by Kitto to be copied from a plate in Barre's Kise, Progress, etc., of Buonaparte's Empire. ESTIMATE OF NAPOLEON. 57 with his advancement. Nor did they interfere. ! He cer- tainly had not always thoughts of obtaining the sovereign power ; but his ambition for sovereignty arose from cir- cumstances, step by step. After the abolition of royalty and nobility, and the declaration of equality, he was re- solved to admit of no superior. That he was ungrateful, may be seen by his treatment of his former patron. One or two centuries hence, and even now if we knew not its reality it would be considered as an improbable fiction, belonging to the ages of romance, that a man of obscure origin should thus become the ruler of nearly all Europe thus realize the visions of Don Quixote, and reward his Sanchos with kingdoms at his pleasure thus spread deso- lation, fire, and sword, where nought but peace was known before ; 1 that a man a simple man an unsupported man should thus make princes crouch at his footstool, and should have his will obeyed as a law. How many thou- sands of widows and orphans has he not made ? A lesser villain would have been hanged for the thousandth part of his crimes ; yet he has his admirers. Notwithstanding what has been said by many to the contrary, I allow him the meed of personal courage, and that he was grateful when he could gain nothing by being the contrary. He was an hypocrite arid an infidel ; for he has different times been of almost all religions, Mohammedan included. He was generous by starts condescending when Emperor irritable, hasty, insolent, and choleric. It will not be con- sidered as the less extraordinary part of his story, that, in the end, he was unfortunate obliged to abdicate his throne, and was twice banished ; but, above all, that this man this Napoleon Buonaparte died in his bed of a cancer, while the great and the good Henry died by the hand of an assassin, and the meek Louis died on a scaffold \ I 1 Switzerland. 58 THE WORKHOUSE. On the whole, it may be said of Buonaparte, that he was a glorious villain I!' 1 And yet, amidst all the youth's dejection, there were forereachings of spirit, anxious anticipations, the pictur- ings of possible propitious circumstances. His highest ambition at this time was to have a stationer's shop and a circulating library, with twelve or fourteen shillings a week. His anxious question was, ' When I am out, how shall I earn a livelihood ?' Shoemaking could yield but a slender remuneration ; and as he had been taught to make coarse shoes alone, he could only expect small wages. Yet he thought that he might travel, and that some kind gentle- man might take him, even though it were in the humble capacity of a servant, ' to tread classic Italy, fantastic Gaul, proud Spain, and phlegmatic Batavia' nay, 'to visit Asia, and the ground consecrated by the steps of the Saviour.' This odd anticipation of Asiatic travel was wondrously realized, for a ' kind gentleman' did after- wards take him to the banks of the Tigris. The long and heavy affliction of Kitto had brought him under religious impressions. He had felt the Divine chas- tening, and stooped to it. It was a necessity to which he was obliged to yield, and, as he could not better himself, he bowed, though he sometimes fretted. ' nature,' he exclaims, ' why didst thou create me with such feelings as these,' which spring from ' superiority 1 It would seem that Kitto had been reading a well-known passage in Milton, one of his favourite poets : ' Might only shall be admired, And valour and heroic virtue called ; To overcome in battle, and subdue Nations, and bring home spoils with infinite Manslaughter, shall be held the highest pitch Of human glory, and for glory done Of triumph, to be styled great conquerors, Patrons of mankind, gods, and sons of gods. Destroyers rightlier called, and plagues of men.* FRIENDS IN THE WORKHOUSE. 59 of genius ? ' ' Why didst thou give such a mind to one in my condition? Why, Heaven, didst thou enclose my proud soul within so rough a casket ? Yet pardon my murmurs. Kind Heaven ! endue me with resignation to Thy will.' But a quieter emotion gradually acquired the ascend- ency within him, and he strove to feel that it was the hand of God his Father which had placed him beyond the reach of sound or echo. His knowledge of the Bible began to produce its quickening results, and spirit was infused into the forms of religion. He wished earnestly to be confirmed, and made the necessary application. He was found to be deficient, when first examined, in some portion of the Catechism ; but he adds, ' I learnt the Cate- chism perfect,' and he was then approved by Mr Lampen, the officiating minister of St Andrews. Yet at the first occasion on which he attended, he was not confirmed ; the bishop, and ' the man with the gold lace cloak,' with the crowds about him, divided his attention, while his want of hearing prevented him from understanding arid following the order of the ceremonial. Mr Nugent, teacher of one of the schools in the hospital, began at this time to pay special attention to him, wrote out some theological questions for him to answer, and promised to be his friend. Mr Burnard's interest was also increased by reading certain papers of Kitto's, suggesting a plan of judicature among the boys. He proposed to the thoughtful projector, a short time afterwards, to write lectures to be read to them, ' respecting their duty in the house, and their future conduct.' This proposal agree- ably surprised Kitto, and he could not contain himself: ' You can scarcely imagine, my friend, how this letter delighted me, and set me a walking up and down the court with uncommon quickness, eagerly talking to myself. 60 THE WOKKHOUSE. Take a bit of my soliloquy : " What ! I, John Kitto, to write lectures to be read to the boys ! Mr Burnard seems to think me competent to it too ! " rubbing my hands with great glee.' The youth was filled with gratitude to both these gentlemen, formally adding Mr Nugent to the list of his benefactors, and saying, in the fulness of his heart, of Mr Burnard, ' I wish, I wish his life was in danger, and I could risk my own to save him. That won't do either too much danger for him.' This feature of Kitto's cha- racter grew with his growth, and in his last work he lays down the true doctrine : ' He who most clearly sees God as the source of his blessings, is the man who will be most grateful to the agents through whom these blessings come to him.' 1 Kitto, on one occasion, hints that he did not like to see Mr Burnard whipping the boys, for it was so unlike his generous nature. The boys used to teaze Kitto a good deal, when the eye of their superiors was withdrawn, till his patience was at length exhausted, and he made a formal complaint to Mr Burnard. The ' frisky letter,' as one of the accused styled it, was at once acknowledged, and his tormentors were severely cautioned as to their misconduct, and prohibited from indulging any longer in such wanton cruelty and sport. He was becoming, as we have said, more and more anxious about his religious duties. He speaks, under date of October 12, of its being one of the inconveniences of the workhouse, that he was not able to kneel when prayers were publicly read, but resolves to begin on that day to pray ' with himself ' in the morning, ' inclining one knee against a chest' which was under the window. Kitto's dealings with his father are much to his credit. We give two extracts, the first a specimen of humour, and the second of integrity : 1 Daily Bible Illustrations, voL i., p. 393. DEALINGS WITH HIS FATHER. fil ' February 17, 1821. The week before last, father wrote on the table with chalk, " You never gave me anything to drink yet." I went, gravely, and emptied out a cup of water, and gave it to him, and said, " There drink." He blushed deep at this pun, and said no more about it.' ' October 7. Father wrote a paper as follows, and wanted me to give it to Mr Burnard : " Sir, I should be much obliged to you if you will be so good as to give a ticket for a shirt, as I am out of work. Jii. Kitto." " Father, thou sayest the thing that is not you are not out of work." "You must give this paper to Mr Burnard." " Are you out of work, father ? " " No." " Then, do you think that I will deceive my benefactor, and permit you to say, through me, that you are ? I will not give it to him." So I said, and so I did. ... I am inclined to think that I was right. My duty to my parents shall never interfere with that to God.' Though Kitto felt the restraint of the workhouse, he had become reconciled to it. He was at times, indeed, anxious to quit it, and at other times willing to remain when liberty- was offered him. His father on one occasion held out some hopes to him, and, though he refused at first to leave, yet he soon altered his mind, and became very desirous to get out. But his father had changed his pur- pose, if ever he had seriously entertained it, and the lad was sorely disappointed. The father put forward a variety of objections, but the excited son rebutted them all in suc- cession. ' Liberty,' he cries, ' was my idol liberty, not idleness. If it were not for the bounty of the kind Mr Burnard, the workhouse would be insupportable. Methinks when I am out of the house, I breathe almost another air. . . . Like the wolf in the fable, I would rather starve at liberty than grow fat under restraint.' Believing that his father was only ' seeking causes' against his getting 62 THE WORKHOUSE. out, he waxes warm, and tells him, ' There is no fear of my starving in the midst of plenty I know how to prevent hunger. The Hottentots subsist a long time on nothing but a little gum ; they also, when hungry, tie a tight liga- ture round them. Cannot I do so too ? Or, if you can get no pay, take me out without, and then I will sell my books and pawn my neckerchiefs, by which I shall be able to raise about twelve shillings, and with that I will make the tour of England. The hedges furnish blackberries, nuts, sloes, etc., and the fields turnips a hay rick or barn will be an excellent bed. I will take pen, ink, and paper with me, and note down my observations as I go a kind of sentimental tour, not so much a description of places as of men and manners, adventures, and feelings. Finally, me and father said much more.' The debate was resumed a couple of months afterwards, and Kitto still thought himself ill-used, his father having raised ' false hopes' within him. He admits, that, in displaying such pertinacity, he was in the wrong ; ' for, upon the whole,' he writes, ' I am not dissatisfied with my present condition.' But he drew up what he calls ' articles of capitulation,' and presented them to his parents, insisting that his father, when he agreed to any of them, should write ' granted' opposite to it, while his mother was to make a cross to signify her assent. The principal heads were that he should be taken out on the 1st of April 1822, or sooner if he was maltreated ; that his boxes and papers were not to be rummaged at home ; that he was not to be interrupted in his studies ; and that, if he died, his body was not to be taken from the workhouse to the grave, but first carried home, and thence conveyed to the place of interment, ' in New Churchyard, beside granny.' The last of the stipu- lations reveals his suspicions, for it is, ' that you be kind to me.' To all these articles the parents agreed. The ARTICLES OF CAPITULATION. 63 curious document thus solemnly concludes : ' We, the undersigned, do hereby promise to abide by what we have in the above promised to perform, and if we in the least tittle infringe it, we do consent that John Kitto, junior, shall do as he has said ; as witness our hands this sixth day of August, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and twenty-one. On the part of John Kitto, junior, JOHN KITTO, Jun. On the part of J. and E. Kitto, seniors. JN. KITTO. + ELIZABETH KITTO, her mark.' He adds, however, that by this formal arrangement he ' gained nothing more than before.' But he was soon released in a manner, and with a result, that he little an- ticipated. It was quite common with the guardians of the poor- house to apprentice the boys under their care to tradesmen in the town. They were anxious, as Mr Burnard expresses it, that Kitto should ' learn a trade, so that he might be able to support himself without parish relief.' 1 This was a kind and considerate motive on their part. It was, in fact, the only design which they could legitimately enter- tain. That the lad should not be a burden to society or to them, that he should be able to maintain himself by honest handicraft, that at least he should not return to them and be a pensioner on their bounty was the loftiest purpose they could form for him. Therefore Anderson, the beadle, taught him shoemaking, and he made great progress. To perfect him in his trade, he was then inden- tured, on the 8th November 1821, to one John Bowden, who had selected him for his proficiency, and in spite of his infirmity. He was to remain under this engagement till he was twenty-one years of age, and he was now about 1 Letter to Mrs Kitto, written after 0r Kitto's death. 64 THE WORKHOUSE. seventeen. The guardians probably congratulated them- selves that they had done their duty to their ward, John Kitto, and that they had fitted him to be a useful member of society. They had got him capricious and wayward, and now they turned him out a quiet and thoughtful youth, who had shown some mental power, was inordinately fond of reading, and had subjected himself to an excellent moral discipline. Probably they lamented, at the same time, that his deafness would exclude all rational hopes of elevation and progress. By this time, as we have seen, Kitto had subdued his spirit to the routine and degradation of a poorhouse life. He was even comparatively contented among his pursuits and associates. And yet, though he had found such an ap- preciation of his talents as might have ministered to his youthful vanity, and not a few indulgences were given him, still he seems sometimes to have regarded the hospital as a species of Bastile, and he rejoiced in the idea of quitting it. He was periodically anxious to be gone ; grumbled that his father had not kept his word and taken him out ; nay, he threatened again and again to run away, though he usually laughed to himself at such a clumsy mode of exit and escape. The first offer to remove did not tempt him, for it presented, in fact, few inducements ; so that he hesi- tated, but afterwards consented. And then the idea of finally quitting such a domicile filled his spirit with exulta- tion, and, with a flourish of his pen not elegant, indeed, but expressive he writes : (2> > EPOCIIA. ^ \Z) ' I am no longer a workhouse boy I am an apprentice.' He felt that he had risen a step in society, that he had ceased to wear the badge of serfdom, and that he was once more master of himself, save in so far as he was bound by APPRENTICESHIP. 65 the terms of his indenture. What we have said is quite consistent with his indifference when the proposal was ori- ginally made. He said ' No' to Bowden's first invitation ; but some of the boys, ' aside,' held out the inducement * of food, clothes, money, and freedom ;' 'I pleaded deafness.' ' I do not care,' he replied to repeated questions, ' I would as soon stay as go.' Some time was spent in negotiations, and at last his coy reluctance was overcome. He never was easily induced to change his habits, and this inflexi- bility of nature did, for the moment, almost conquer his oft-expressed desire to get out of confinement. His own exclamation, however, leaves no doubt of his rapture^ ' I am no longer a workhouse boy !' The going home at night, the possession of his evenings for himself, the power of reading in his own garret without molestation, the drop- ping of the poorhouse uniform, food in plenty, and good clothes these formed an irresistible temptation. ' There- fore, on Friday 2,' he records, ' I gave a paper to Mr Burnard expressing that desire, and -soliciting his aid to my being apprenticed.' The only objection to Kitto's leaving the workhouse was made by Anderson, and that was because the hospital could not afford to dispense with his services, since he was the only boy perfect in the making of list shoes. Nay, Ander- son afterwards wished to get him back for the same reason, but Bowden was too shrewd and selfish to part with him. Kitto had, during his residence, become attached to many things about the workhouse ; and, in the prospect of quit- ting it, he relates ' So I went and took a farewell look of the bed on which I used to sleep, the tripod on which I had sat so many hours, and the prayer-room. I shook hands, in idea, with the pump, the conduit at which I washed, the tree against which I leaned, nay, the very stones on which I walked. I then took a final leave of the 66 THE WORKHOUSE. hospital, and we went to Mr Bowden's house again, when I was aproned and seated, and set to rip off the old tap of a boot.' But the hopes of the buoyant apprentice were soon and terribly blasted. His next year's journal opens in a tone of hopeless anguish. He had been delivered into the hand of a brutal tyrant one who hoped that the infirmity of his apprentice would disable him from making any complaint, and prevent him from obtaining any redress. Bowden's previous apprentice had also been deaf, and we cannot suppose that his treatment differed from that suffered by his successor. But the poor creature had not a tongue to tell, nor a pen to reveal . his woes. Bowden, on looking round the busy inmates of the hospital, selected JohnKitto, not simply because he discerned him to be the best work- man in it, but because he imagined that his deafness, like that of his predecessor, might enable his master to work him beyond right, and punish him without limit, and yet run no risk of being himself detected and exposed. A speechless apprentice he had found to be a helpless victim, who could neither murmur under exhaustion, nor appeal against stripes. The six months of his apprenticeship with Bowden formed the most miserable period of Kitto's ex- istence. He groans mournfully indeed : ''January 19. misery, art thou to be my only por- tion ! Father of mercy, forgive me if I wish I had never been born. that I were dead, if death were an anni- hilation of being ; but as it is not, teach me to endure life ; enjoy it I never can. In short, mine is a severe master, rather cruel.' The retrospect of two months is sad as he gives it. Bowden threw a shoe at his head, because he had made a wry stitch, struck him again and again now a blow on the ear, and now a slap on the face. He wept at this unkind usage. ' I did all in my power to DRUDGEKY AXD STRIPES. 67 suppress my inclination to weep, till I was almost suf- focated: tears of bitter anguish and futile indignation fell upon my work and blinded my eyes. I sobbed con- vulsively. I was half mad with myself for suffering him to see how much I was affected. Fool that I was ! that I were again in the workhouse ! ' December 12. My head ached, and yet they kept me to work till six o'clock, when they let me come away. I could eat nothing. ' January 14. He threw the pipe in my face, which I had accidentally broken; it hit me on the temple, and narrowly missed my eye. < January 16. I held the thread too short; instead of telling me to hold it longer, he struck me on the hand with the hammer (the iron part). Mother can bear wit- ness that it is much swelled ; not to mention many more indignities I have received many, many more; again, this morning, I have wept. What's the matter with my eyes! ' I here leave off this Journal till some other change, or extraordinary misfortune takes place ! ' Such is the melancholy end of the "Workhouse Journal. He did not know what awful thing was to happen him, for he had been tossed about like a ball, and he could not predict where next he should either alight or rebound. He could not bear up. He had already suffered much. He had felt in former days the pang of hunger and the cold of nakedness. But now he was oppressed, overwrought, and maltreated, for sixteen and often eighteen hours of the twenty-four, did his master force him to drudge, and all the while strike and buffet him without mercy. Work- house boys have few to look after them, and fewer still to interfere for them. And why should Kitto be any ex- ception ? The slavery could not be endured. He had been 68 THE WORKHOUSE. all the while devoting his spare hours to mental labour and even this luxury was at length denied him. To keep himself awake for study, he had to torture himself by several cunning appliances. He was willing to have wrought twelve hours, so to have some time for reading, thankful to snatch a brief period for sleep. But to toil from six in the morning to ten at night left him so exhausted, that only by a painful effort could a little space be given to reading and thought. This tyranny preyed upon his mind, such castigations galled him, the long hours of labour, and the short intervals left for study, oppressed and fretted him. His nervous system was shattered, trains of morbid reasoning usurped supremacy over him, conscience was perverted by sophistical ingenuities, and his spirit, weary and worn out, looked to suicide as its last and justifiable refuge. The crisis came; but, as in the case of Cowper, a watchful Providence interposed, and Kitto lived. In the volume of essays which he published on leaving the workhouse, there are two papers on suicide. In the first, the sin is set in its true light ; in the second, it is described more leniently, and much in the way in which, in the period of his misery and gloom, he had gradually brought himself to contemplate it. In illustration of his remarks, he gives, under the assumed name of William Wanley, a portion of his own biography, detailing his dark sensations, how he formed the purpose of self-destruction, justified it, and resolved to carry it out. But the attempt failed. The valuable life which was about to fall a sacrifice to wretchedness and despair, was preserved for higher ends, and did work them out, till God's time came for its final release. The Life and History of Wanley were his own, and he formally identifies them. He tells Mr Woollcombe, some years afterwards (December 1825), that 'his mind was NIGHT. 69 darker and more wretched than anything he had ever read of that 'the letter of Wanley was no posterior fab- rication, no picture of imagined anguish, but emanated from a warm and loving heart, every vein and fibre of which seemed lacerated with misery too highly for the highest powers of language to express.' In sending the Essay and Letter of Wanley to Mr Woollcombe, prior to their being printed, he wrote this admission : 'January 8, 1824. You will experience no difficulty in discovering the identity of Wanley. Though he is happier, very much happier, now than at any period dur- ing the last half of his life, all his endeavours cannot pre- vent the occurrence of that melancholy which predominated once so absolutely over him. . . The event which I have narrated is one which he now contemplates with grief, and on which he looks back with the greatest re- pentance.' In a brief sketch of his early life, written just before he left the workhouse, he confesses more explicitly ' The life of misery \ led reduced me to such a state of despair, that I twice attempted my liberation from his [Bowden's] tyranny by a means that I now shudder to think of.' The complaints of Bowden's apprentice against his master became at length the subject of judicial investiga- tion. The trial was adjourned in the first instance, and one of those times of ' despair,' to which Kitto refers in the previous sentence, happened in this interval of sus- pense, when, misunderstanding the forms of procedure, he believed that he had been formally condemned to be sent back to undergo, without hope or respite, Bowden's cruel and lawless oppression. But at length he obtained redress. The instrument of his slavery, ' with its formid- able appendage of seals and signatures,' was cancelled, after his case had been fully heard before the magistrates, with 70 THE WORKHOUSE. whose sanction he had been originally indentured. In his appeal to them Kitto acquitted himself to admiration. He wrote so fluently and so correctly as to astonish the bench. His pen delivered him from bondage, and gave him the consciousness of possessing an undeveloped power. He became aware that he could not only think but express his thoughts that he could not only feel, but give fittiag language to his emotions. The gentlemen, who tried the case, wondered, questioned, sympathized, applauded, and set him at liberty, but did not trouble themselves much more about him. They must have thought him a bold and bright little fellow, who was armed with a rare power of self-defence, and would not be easily put down ; but, while they delivered him from the tyrant, they took no steps to improve his condition. They had only a very partial acquaintance with him, and probably judged that the workhouse was his happiest asylum. Thus Kitto returned to the hospital, and was set down again to his former occupation to be perfected in it still for the avowed purpose of enabling him to earn an honest livelihood. He received many minor privileges, for which he was thankful. Bright visions of the future began, how- ever, to cheer him. He thought himself destined to some- thing. What might he not do ? Might he not write or compose a work ? Be it in poetry or in prose, might it not immortalize his name? What should hinder the achievement ? Might not every obstacle be surmounted, and John Kitto become an author known to fame? Thanks to Bowden's outrage. It stung him into life. He began to criticise some things he had written, and pronounce them trash, the first sign of growing taste and judgment. He had proposed a higher standard for himself, and now laboured to come up to it. His reading had en- abled him to judge of style, and had supplied him with MORNING. 71 many illustrations. His awakened power longed for exer- tion, but he knew not as yet where to find the proper field for it. The experiences of this period are thus delineated by him : ' I had learned that knowledge is power ; and not only was it power, but safety. As nearly as the matter can now be traced, the progress of my ideas appears to have been this Firstly, that I was not altogether so helpless as I had seemed ; secondly, that, notwithstanding my afflicted state, I might realize much comfort in the con- dition of life in which I had been placed ; thirdly, that I might even raise myself out of that condition into one of less privation ; fourthly, that it was not impossible for me to place my own among honourable names, by proving that no privation formed an insuperable bar to useful labour and self-advancement. . . . To do what no one under the same combination of afflictive circumstances ever did, soon then ceased to be the limit of my ambition.' 1 But he must, in the meantime, learn his craft, to please Mr Burnard and commend himself to the guardians. He and they, however, were fast diverging in purpose. They thought of him as a shoemaker ; he pictured himself as an author. They saw him on ' the tripod ; ' he beheld him- self at a desk. They strove to give him the ability of making a shoe ; he dreamed of the power of producing a book. But immediate duty must be attended to, and Kitto passed more months in the workhouse. Again and again did he enjoy his solitary walks a favourite scene of recreation being the Hoe, a magnificent parade, with the sea and breakwater before it, the ships and docks on one side of it, and, to the right, the classic groves and shady retreats of Mount-Edgecumbe. The style of his correspondence at this epoch indicates 1 Lost Senses Deafness, pp. 82, 83. 72 THE WORKHOUSE. higher moral health, and a more refined taste. The cloud was passing away, and his mind was possessing itself ' in patience.' His fevered brow was cooler, and the dew had fallen on his parched heart. He knew not what was be- fore him, but he was becoming equal to anything that might occur. Though he was conscious of talent, there was no inflation of pride, for he was resolved to refuse no offer that might promise to be of advantage. He knew that only step by step could he reach the summit ; nor did he seem to be devoured by eagerness for elevation. Pro- bably, however, he was disappointed that nothing further was done for him. But he had awakened interest on his behalf such interest as sufficed, when a project was started for his benefit, to crown it with success. His case was matter of wide notoriety; yet no one stepped forward to lend a helping hand to the deaf and lonely aspirant. But Mr Harvey came at length to the rescue. This famed mathematician and man of science had observed Kitto's demeanour in a bookseller's shop, and anxiously inquired about him. Learning his history and circumstances, his benevolent heart knew no rest till he had interested others on Kitto's behalf, and induced them to contribute something, either money or stationery, to the studious youth's assist- ance. Mr Nettleton also, of the ' Plymouth Weekly Jour- nal,' inserted some of his compositions in that paper. So that Kitto became known, was more and more asked after, and a deeper anxiety being excited, a few friends issued a joint circular on his behalf, the language of which shows the favourable impression which his character and talents had created. The following is the circular re- ferred to : ' The attention of the public has lately been drawn, by some Essays published in the Plymouth Weekly Journal, APPEAL ON HIS BEHALF. 73 to the very extraordinary talents of JOHN KITTO, who is now a pauper in the Plymouth workhouse. He is about eighteen years of age, and has been nearly four years in the workhouse, to which he was reduced by the inability of his parents to maintain him, after his having lost his hearing by a fall from a house in Batter Street, where he was employed as an attendant on the masons. This loss of hearing has been accompanied with other bodily infirmities ; but he has been thus so entirely thrown on the resources of his mind, that he has cultivated his intellectual faculties with singular success, and gives promise of making very considerable attainments. An inquiry into his conduct and general character has proved most satisfactory to the undersigned, who are thus led to believe that he must greatly interest those who feel for the difficulties under which virtue and talents labour when they have to struggle with poverty and misfortune. He has of late been em- ployed as a shoemaker in the workhouse, and in that capacity he has given proofs of great skill and industry ; but it seems desirable that he should be placed in a situa- tion more consistent with his feelings and abilities, and to which his deafness might not render him incompetent. It has been suggested that, as a temporary measure, appli- cation should be made to the Committee of the Plymouth Public Library, to employ him as a Sub-Librarian ; and that a sum might be raised, by small subscriptions, to enable him to obtain board and lodging in some decent family, until something permanently advantageous should be sug- gested. In the meantime, although he could not be in the receipt of a salary, he would have opportunities of improving himself, and would be enabled to direct the powers of his mind to those pursuits in which he is so well qualified to excel, and in which, perhaps, the world may find his usefulness, and he himself a merciful and 74 THE WORKHOUSE. abundant compensation for all his deprivations. Great re- liance may be placed on his industrious habits, and it is confidently believed that small contributions from several individuals would enable him to get over the chief impedi- ments to success in a way for which he seems so peculiarly well qualified. The undersigned, who have carefully ex- amined into his character and acquirements, are anxious to give the strongest testimony in his behalf; and will receive, with great pleasure, any contributions, pledging themselves to use the utmost discretion in their power in the application of any money that may be thus intrusted to their management. JOHN HAWKER, HENRY WOOLL- COMBE, 1 WILLIAM EASTLAKE, THOMAS STEWART, JOHN TINGCOMBE, GEORGE HARVEY, ROBERT LAMPEN. Ply- mouth, 26th June 1823.' This modest narrative and appeal were successful, and the governor and guardians of the workhouse subscribed five pounds to the fund. On the 1 7th of July, the follow- ing entry is found in the workhouse Minutes : ' John Kitto discharged, 1823, July 17. Taken out under the patronage of the literati of the town.' Kitto was then boarded with Mr Burnard, and had his time at his own dis- posal, with the privilege of using the public library. A great point was thus gained for him. He was released from manual labour, and had all his hours for reading and mental improvement. He must have been aware that efforts were making for him; and this knowledge, acting on a san- guine temperament, seems to have originated and moulded the following dream, as he calls it, and which, though pro- bably a waking reverie, is very remarkable as a true pre- 1 Mr Woollcombe, whose early and continued attentions to Kitto were as stimu- lating as they were kind, was the founder of the Plymouth Institution, a promoter of literature and the arts, and connected with all the philanthropic movements and societies of the. neighbourhood. He was a highly respectable solicitor, and an alder- man of the borough, in which he had great and merited influence. WONDERFUL DREAM. 75 sentiment a correct delineation of his subsequent career. It is dated three days prior to his discharge, and occurs in a letter to Mr Tracy : * Methought (this is the established language of dreamers I believe) I was exactly in the same situation in which I really was before I slept, and indulging the same reflections, when there suddenly appeared before me a being of more than mortal beauty. He was taller than the sons of men, and his eye beamed with celestial fire ; a robe of azure hue, and far richer than the finest silk, enfolded his form, a starry zone of glittering gems encircled his waist, and in his hand he bore a rod of silver. ' He touched me with his rod, and gently bending over me, he said, " Child of mortality, I am the Angel Zared, and am sent to teach thee wisdom. Every man on his outset in life proposes to himself something as the end and reward of his labours, his wishes, and his hopes ; some are ambitious of honour, some of glory, and some of riches. Of what art thou ambitious, and what are the highest ob- jects of thy earthly hopes'?" ' I was astonished at the visit and the words of the angel, and replied not to his demand. ' " Thou canst not readily find, child of the earth, words to express the scenes which thy fancy has drawn. It matters not ; I know thy wishes, and will give thee pos- session of the state that is the highest of which thou art ambitious." ' He touched me with his rod, and my form expanded into manhood ; again he touched and then left me. On looking around me, I found myself seated in a room, two of the walls of which were entirely concealed by books, of which I felt myself conscious of being the owner. On the table lay letters addressed to me from distant parts of the Island, from the Continent, and from the New World : 76 THE WORKHOUSE. . and conspicuously on the chimney-piece were placed several volumes, of which I was conscious that I was the author, and was also sensible that the house wherein I was, was mine, and all that was in it. I went forth into the street. Ridicule no longer pointed her ringer at me; many whom I met appeared- to know and esteem me, and I felt conscious that I possessed many sincere and dis- interested friends. I met a blind fiddler, and placing my hand instinctively in my pocket, I found that it lacked not money. I returned, and exclaimed, as I took Caesar's Commentaries, in their original language, from the shelf, "Now at last I am happy!" but before I had concluded the word, the Angel Zared again appeared before me, and touching me with his silver rod, restored me to the state in which he found me. ' I felt a momentary sensation of disappointment and re- gret at the transition, till the angel spoke to me, and said, ' " Listen to my words, child of mortality, while I withdraw, as far as I am permitted, the veil of thy future destiny. Thou hast been afflicted with misfortune, and taught in the school of adversity. Think not that HE who made thee and me also, regards with displeasure those whom He purifies by sorrows, or that those are His peculiar favourites who are permitted by Him to enjoy the good things of this world. Whenever thou findest thyself inclined to murmur at the dispensations of Pro- vidence, recollect that others, greater, better, and wiser than thou art, have suffered also, have suffered more than thou hast, or ever wilt suffer. ' " The time approaches when thou shalt attract the notice of thy superiors, who shall place within thy reach the means of acquiring that knowledge for which thou thirstest. They will transplant thee into a soil fit for thee, and if thou attendest well to the cultivation of thy Intel- THE FUTURE UNVEILED. 77 lectual and moral faculties, thou mayest perhaps become a permanent occupant of a station like that which I have permitted thee to enjoy for a moment. I say, perhaps, for only HE knows, in whose breast is hid the fate of worlds, whether thou art to live beyond the day on which I visit thee ; but of this I am permitted to assure thee, that the period of thy sojourn on earth will not be, at the furthest, very many years. ' " Be not, son of earth, dejected, if thou again meetest with disappointments and misfortunes ; neither suffer pro- sperity too highly to elate thee ; and in every situation, and in every moment of thy life, remember that thou art mortal, and that there is a God and a hereafter. So live, that thou mayest not fear death, at whatever moment he may approach thee ; and if thus thou livest, thou wilt have lived indeed ." Zared perhaps would have spoken longer, but a book falling from the shelf upon my head, I awoke, and, as honest John Bunyan says, behold it was a dream!' One might say to such a wondrous dreamer ' Thy life lies spread before thee as a sheet Of music, written by some gifted hand, Unsounded yet : to longing, listening hearts, Translate its small mysterious silent notes Into full thrilling chords of life and power.' He was now afraid of being overrated, and to show that he was not unduly lifted up by his good fortune, we may quote what he says to Mr Harvey : June 15, 1823. ' I sometimes doubt the efficacy of any trifling abilities I possess to retain that patronage with which you honour me. I have not mentioned my unattrac- tive person or clownish manners as likely to operate in the least with a gentleman of your good sense to my disfavour.' Or again, he writes to the same correspondent, Sept. 78 THE WOKKHOUSE. 30, of the same year, ' I apprehend that you are not disappointed on discovering that I am not one of those meteors which sometimes emerge from darkness, and illu- mine the hemisphere of science with their blaze. On two subjects I am not indifferent. I wish to be known in the world. I wish to get myself a name, and to be esteemed by the wise, the learned, and the good. But even this wish is inferior to that which I have to extend my know- ledge, and to compensate, by literary acquirements, for the deprivation under which I labour.' On June 23, he chides Mr Burnard, for having altered his style of address to the pauper boy who had risen in rank : ' Will you permit me to find fault with the address, " Mr John Kitto ? " how cold and formal ! From any other person I might not object to it, but from you, my earliest and best friend, it must not be. Call me, I entreat you again, plain John Kitto, or, if possible, by some more affectionate appellation.' His hopes were .not yet very high, and this is his humble solace ' I am perfect in my trade ; and should circum- stances send me back to the workhouse, I hope in Mr Burnard for all his former kindness and attention.' Batto's mind was at this time specially sensitive, and somewhat irritable. There was the prospect of relief, but it might not be realized ; the blessing of elevation was close upon his grasp, but yet not within it. A few of his Essays had appeared in the papers, and some people suspected that he had been assisted in their composition. On this point he was exceedingly tender, as the following letter to Mr Burnard indicates : ' July 22. Public Library. ' SIR, I am not happy : I am very uneasy more than uneasy, or I should not now write to you. Pardon me, sir, if I write incoherently, for I address you under the impulse of feelings that have recently been wounded to the CAPTIOUS CRITICISM. 79 quick. Those gentlemen were in the right who foretold that I should meet with disappointments. I went down stairs to read last evening, when it grew dark. I had not been there long before a gentleman came in, who, after having read a few minutes, asked me whether I could hear loud sounds ? My answer to this, and other interrogations much more disagreeable, were perused with so evident an intention of finding fault, that it mortified me in the extreme. The pencil was slowly traced beneath the lines ; each word was weighed in the scale of grammatical nicety, and one was found to be improper. I observed, in answer to one of his questions, that I had not, till within these few days, begun to study grammar, and that I did not think it fair that I should be judged by rules with which I was un- acquainted. He replied, " You are in the right, I believe ; but how came you to write so correctly in the Essays in the newspaper ? Did any one correct them for you ? " I leave you to judge, sir, whether this was a proper question for a gentleman, and a stranger, to make. I replied in the negative, adding, that "I repeatedly transcribed them, improving and correcting them each time, till I thought them sufficiently accurate. In the two first Essays, how- ever, the editor corrected some errors in punctuation, and he prefixed the quotation from Anon, to my Essay on Home; but, in the Essay on Contemplation, he, at my desire, made no correction or alteration whatever, further than adding three lines from Shakspere to it as a motto." Yet I believe that Essay is the best. Do you not think so too, sir ? . . . It was very evident, by his triumphant exhibition of a grammatical error and other circumstances, that he was, beforehand, determined to find fault, and that he departed with a very contemptuous opinion of me and my abilities. Whatever was his intention, it is certain that he has made me very uneasy, and greatly discouraged 80 THE WOKKHOUSE. me; for, undoubtedly, "the scoff of pride" is not cele- brated for its powers of stimulation.' At this juncture, and while his plans of life were still uncertain, a proposal was made to publish a volume of his Essays. But he scrupled at the censorship of his friends, and wished the papers to be left wholly to his own taste and selection. He had no objection that Mr Lampen should read and revise them, provided that he himself might finally bestow upon them ' additional corrections and improvements.' But before the volume was published another change had taken place in his social position, and he had mounted another step upwards. His time, meanwhile, being fully his own, was principally spent in the Public Library, and he was not less miserly in the distribution of it than formerly. He devised various means of economising it, such as forming a diagram of method, marked with different colours ; lamented that of late he had been in bed full seven hours, while six were quite sufficient ; resolved against heavy dinners ; would like a little ale, but would prefer a small quantity of wine to his frugal and solitary meal, and so hoped to be able to read or write, with little interruption, from nine in the morning till five in the afternoon. Conscientiously did he occupy his leisure. While he was free to choose any line of study, he decidedly preferred literature to science. Opening his mind to Mr Harvey (June 1st), he declares of Natural Philosophy, ' I have no desire to make any par- ticular branch of it my study. As I have but few hours in the day at my own disposal, and when I attain to manhood am likely to have still fewer, it would be absurd in me to hope to succeed (even if I had the inclination) in such branches of philosophical and scientific research, as geome- try, chemistry, electricity, and others equally abstruse, which are calculated only for men of great talents, and those STUDIES IN THE PUBLIC LIBRARY:. 81 who have been blessed with a liberal education.' ' Mine,' he explains to Mr Woollcombe (Sept. 25), ' is a mind not adapted to scientific pursuits. Man, I have repeatedly said, and that which relates directly to him, shall be the chief subjects of my research. Let chemists analyse the elements in their alembics, but let me analyse the passions, the powers, and the pursuits of man in the alembic of the mind.' Accordingly he gave himself to reading chiefly in metaphysics. ' The novels, the poems, and the periodicals slept quietly on the shelves.' History, also, occupied a portion of his time, and he retained through life his liking for it. But the metaphysical theories with which he came in contact, ultimately perplexed him, and he abandoned the pursuit. Yet, before he laid it aside, he had gathered from it ' some useful knowledge, acquired some useful habits, and drawn some useful conclusions.' His mind liked to store itself with information, rather than penetrate into profound questions, or range among subtile hypotheses. His intellectual nature was not fitted to deal with such subjects, and his metaphysical studies were pursued, not for the love of mental science, but for the sake of general knowledge. Instinctively he valued the palpable more than the abstruse, and immediate utility outweighed, in his esti- mate, every form of speculation. He was, indeed, in danger of being injured by the desultory nature of his exercises, for when any mental pursuit ceased to delight him, he was at once inclined to abandon it. He did not relish mathe- matics, for ' he pursued the steps to the demonstration without pleasure or curiosity.' He resolved to go through Euclid, but was easily seduced from the task ; and at length confessed, that whenever he ventured over the Asses' Bridge . he usually ' fell into the water.' But he thought of ' beginning Latin,' and of ' possessing the Greek language also.' Though he had been, and was F 82 THE WORKHOUSE. still, so voracious a reader, lie knew that the mere perusal of books was not to be identified with intellectual improve- ment. He puts the case strongly : ' Were it possible for one man to read all the books which have been printed, from Caxton to Bensley, that man might still be a block- head. For reading the thoughts of other men will not in itself enable us to think justly ourselves, any more than the wearing of a Chancellor's wig would endue us with the legal knowledge of a Lord High Chancellor.' 1 He had not been long boarded with Mr Burnard, when his constitutional monitor spoke to him, as it afterwards did, periodically, till his death. In a letter to Mr Harvey, August 13, he laments : * Since Tuesday night I have experienced more illness than within an equal space of time since my fall. Sick- ness is well calculated to produce wise reflections and con- clusions in the mind. In the fervour of my hopes, and in the anticipation of future attainments and subsequent use- fulness, I had almost forgotten that it was in the power of death to prevent their fulfilment. ' You may, perhaps, sir, also say, that my trifling ill- ness does not justify an anticipation of early dissolution. On such a subject no one can speak with certainty ; yet I may be permitted to say, that I believe my demise will be at no distant period ; and, indeed, I think that, at no other time, it could be more eligible than now. Were my de- cease to take place at present, sympathy might shed a tear over my grave, and I might be lamented by the benevo- lent, the pious, and the learned, as one who, had he lived, might have been a useful member of society. In after h'fe I may be exposed to criminal temptations, which I may not have power to resist. I may form ties which it would be agony to tear asunder ; and I may have miseries to eu- 1 Essays, p. 209. FOREBODINGS OF EARLY DEATH. 83 dure of which I have now no conception, all of which my demise now would prevent. I imagine you pause here, and take up your pen to ask me, " Are you then tired of life, and do you wish for death ? " Oh no, sir, I wish to know, and to communicate my knowledge. I would live, could I command it, till time shall have covered my head with hoary honours. I would live till I had learned how to die with a well-grounded hope of future bliss. The reasons above alluded to are by no means such as to make death desirable. It would be absurd to wish for death in order to avert evils, the occurrence of which is no more than probable. However, the frequent thoughts of death will certainly render his approach less terrible when he ultimately arrives. ' Considered abstractedly from the probability of my early dissolution, I think my future prospects very invigo- rating indeed. Henceforth I shall not look too anxiously on the future, but rely on that Great Being who has been so merciful to me, and hope that He will enable me to be happy in any condition which I may be called to occupy.' 1 With all his high prospects, a feeling of gloom occa- sionally stole over him the shadow of his earlier sensations. To such despondency he makes frequent allusion. He was tormented by fears, and he wisely advised himself to take long walks, and unbend his mind, by partaking of any harm- less amusements. 2 But, with all his dark tendencies, his gratitude was great. When he looked on what he had been, felt what he had become, and hoped what he might yet be, his spirit was filled with thankfulness ; and he describes his emotions, in a letter, published in his earliest volume : TO MR WILDE. Plymouth Public Library, Oct. 16, 1823. ' DEAR SIR, With much pleasure I avail myself of the 1 Essays, p. 30. * Essays, p. 48. 84 THE WORKHOUSE. first opportunity of returning my grateful acknowledg- ments for the attention you have shown to my accommoda- tion and comfort in the library ; and, at the same time, of saying something about myself. When I recollect (and can I ever forget ?) how miserable I once was ; how I was exposed to ignominy, to insult, neglect, and oppression, my joy is great to have escaped such evils, and my heart expands with gratitude towards those disinterested indi- viduals who have rescued me from them. ' In the most enthusiastic of my reveries, I never imagined that I should ever be as I now am, or that I should at- tract that attention which has been, and is directed towards me. I wrote ; I endeavoured to acquire knowledge, be- cause my deafness had divested me of all relish for common amusements, because I could find no other enjoyment or occupation equally interesting, and because the employ- ment of my few leisure hours and moments gave me the satisfactory consciousness of spending my time well, with- out having the most distant idea that this occupation of my leisure would lead to the beneficial results to which it has led. ' An unprepossessing exterior, and deportment somewhat singular, made me to be persecuted and despised by my equals and superiors in age, who knew me no further than as they saw me, or thought me a being not far removed from idiocy. Misery, sir, had rather quickened than blunted the native sensibilities of my heart ; and great as my sufferings were, I probably felt them more acutely than many others would have done in the same circumstances. ' Amidst all these troubles, however, my thirst for know- ledge was not destroyed. My closet was my only refuge, and a book, when I could procure it, my only consoler ; for there were none to enter into my feelings or sympathize with me, and by deafness I was cut off from social inter- course with every human being. AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 86 ' Thus unhappy as I was, if you can form an idea of my situation, you can also conceive the satisfaction which I felt when I suddenly became an object of attention and commiseration to those who have assisted to rescue me from the state in which they found me, and placed me in that which I now occupy. I, the lowly being who, a few days before, was unnoticed and unknown, now became an object of curiosity and wonder to persons who would never have become acquainted with rny existence, or have heard my name mentioned, if some trifling circumstances, which I should denominate accidents if I had not been accustomed to trace the finger of an overruling Providence in many of those events which the irreligious, the ignorant, and the careless, call by the name of chances, had not introduced me to the notice of those who have made me known to others. ' It must be evident, however, that this is not my final destination ; and I feel no other anxiety or uneasiness than as it respects futurity. The vast ocean of human life lies before me, and my only wish is that my little bark may in future escape those dangers by which it was once as- sailed, and that it may proceed in peace and comfort, un- disturbed by the blasts of adversity, till it ultimately rest in the quiet haven of the grave.' One can scarce wonder at the following wish, expressed by such a child of misfortune and poverty, who had never handled a piece of money of any value. It occurs in a Journal that dates from February 19, 1824, to April 3 : ' I have some time been desirous of consulting my kind and zealous friend, Colonel Hawker, on the propriety of my desiring to have at Whitsuntide and Christmas, or any other two periods of the year, a sovereign, but I have been loath to mention it to him, for he has lately, and indeed always, been so attentive to my wishes, that I am 86 THE WOEKHOUSE. unwilling again to make so great a claim on Ms considera- tion. I do not think that Mr Woollcombe or Mr Lampen would make much if any objection to it ; but, perhaps, Mr Hawker might, and I am not willing to make a proposal which there is any probability of his rejecting, for if he disapproves of it, I shall not mention it to any other per- son. I should not be so reluctant, if it were not for the great increase which has been kindly and spontaneously made to my weekly stipend. Well, and what do you want with twenty shillings twice a year ? Why, as to that, it is partly a wish of having what I never had before, for I never touched a note in my life, nor a piece of gold coin, but once, which was ten years ago, when I was permitted to hold a seven-shilling-piece in my hand for a few seconds. I wish also to have a small sum always at hand, to answer any particular want which may occur. I should also, with part of it, purchase some old books, and thus gradually increase my little store. With half of it, ten shillings, I have no doubt of being able to purchase, at my old acquaintances, ten or twelve volumes of books. I could also supply myself with some minor articles of clothing out of it, and thus prevent the necessity of too frequent applications to Mr Hawker and the other gentlemen on that account.' Amidst all this anxiety for himself, his wants, and pro- spects, it is pleasant to find Kitto ' looking on the things of others.' His favourite subjects of composition had been, and still were, childhood and affliction. 1 He wrote of the former with a kind of melancholy pleasure, and of the latter in a tone of earnest commiseration. His life had been a companionship with grief, and such an experience taught him to enter readily into the trials of ' brethren in tribu- 1 A series of brief essays on ' Childhood ' were addressed by him to Mr Wooll- combe, and many of his earlier compositions take the form of letters or addresses to the afflicted. LETTER OF CONDOLENCE. 87 lation.' Sickness had often visited him, and death had once ' come nigh unto him ;' nay, had laid in the tomb his aged and beloved grandparent. He had often craved for sympathy toward himself, and therefore he was forward to express his condolence with those who sorrowed, and mingle his tears with those who wept. He records in his Journal the death of Mr Burnard's son, and adds, under a twinge of despondency, ' I consider his fate as enviable; and nothing but the consciousness that it is my duty to support the life which my Creator gave, prevents me from being absolutely weary of my existence, and anxious to quit it.' But he who had called himself ' John, the Comfortless,' essayed to comfort the bereaved mother : * April 29, 1824. ' DEAR MADAM, That at the present moment I write to you with reluctance on the subject you suggested, I must candidly acknowledge. At an earlier period it would have been more proper than now, and I should at such a period have written, had I not been deterred by the reasons I mentioned to you. The natural effect of time is to soften that grief which every afflictive occurrence inspires ; I should therefore have deemed it a duty to avoid the men- tion -of any circumstances likely to revive that intensity of sorrow which time must necessarily in some measure have ameliorated, had you not expressed a willingness to receive any communication on the subject I might make. That your son should be lamented by you, is natural perfectly natural. Robert was a son of whom any parent might be proud ; and had he lived, and enjoyed health, there could be no doubt of his proving a blessing to all connected with him, and an honour to human nature, if, as nobody denies, human nature can be adorned by piety, talent, and virtue. These are just causes for the sorrow you felt and continue to experience ; but I cannot persuade myself that any 88 THE WORKHOUSE. causes can justify unjust repinings, overstrained lamenta- tions, and rebellious murmurings at the dispensations of that Almighty Providence which never acts but for the good of its creatures. Let it not be imagined that I sup- pose you feel in this manner. Far from it ! you feel only a just and natural grief. But if I indeed thought so, I would say so. Recollect the state in which he spent the last year of his life, -and say whether you should have preferred to have had him live for years in this state of mental and bodily anguish ? for, doubtless, independent of his personal sufferings, he endured much in being cut off from nearly all the gratifications and enjoyments which render life de- sirable. Do you believe him happy I Undoubtedly. Well then, is it kind to repine at his happiness? Supposing, and there is no absurdity in the supposition, that his immortal part be conscious of your actions, can it be thought that his felicity receives any increase from seeing the relatives whom he loved, lament as those who have no hope, and murmur at the dispensations of that Gracious Being who has mercifully seen fit thus early to reward his virtues, by taking him from a state of anguish to one of unutterable felicity ? Far from it ; on the contrary, I conceive this consciousness, if it be indeed possessed by disembodied spirits, to be the only alloy of which their present happi- ness is capable ; and, therefore, if it were possible that any being should have rejoiced in the death of your son, that being would be in reality less his enemy than you who thus bewail his loss. Loss ! Who has lost ? What is lost ? Has he lost anything ? Yes, he lost mortality, he has lost pain, he has lost all the miseries of human life, these are his losses ; but he has in compensation for these losses, gained, but his gains I will not attempt to enume- rate, for only a disembodied spirit can describe those plea- sures, which only a disembodied spirit can enjoy. And KELIGIOUS IMPROVEMENT. 89 you, have you lost anything ? No, nothing has been lost, your son has gone a journey, and you know that he is happy, eminently happy, in the country which he inhabits. You know also that a great many years cannot elapse be- fore you will be sent for to the same happy regions, where you will dwell for ever with him, without fear of further separation. But supposing for a moment that you had lost anything by the demise of your son, you are certain that he has gained ; and could you in that case be so selfish as to repine at your own individual loss, when the same cause has rendered your child so supremely happy? If you could, it would not be acting the part of a mother and friend. Such, my dear madam, are some of the reflections which I would have suggested to your consideration, if I had sup- posed that in your instance they had been requisite. As my own sentiments respecting death are pretty well known, I shall not now intrude on you any longer than to assure yon that I am, yours most respectfully, ' JOHN KITTO.' ' To Mrs BURNARD.' Kitto's continued and prayerful study of the Bible, with the assistance of the best Commentaries which he could procure, was greatly blessed, for there seems to have been all this while the steady growth of religious principle within him. ' April 2. I am hi a state which I cannot exactly de- scribe. I become every day more sensible of my own ne- glect of the duties due to the Almighty, and of my offences against His commandments. I have not that due sense of His mercy, His love, and His benevolence, which I ought to have. I do not form a proper estimate of the vanity of human life, and the contemptible nature of human pursuits, compared with those of a spiritual order. I have not that 90 THE WOKKHOUSE. overwhelming sense of my own religious and moral crimi- nality which I ought to possess, nor have I that effectual and lively faith in Jesus Christ without which everything else is of no value. It is true that I believe Jesus Christ to be the Son of God, that He existed with the Father from all eternity, and that it is only through His atoning blood that we can hope for mercy and forgiveness ; I be- lieve all this, but this theoretical faith I feel to be utterly insufficient, unattended by practical results, and these prac- tical results I do not experience. There is an internal monitor within me, independent of the written words of in- spiration, which makes me fully assured that of myself I can do nothing that my own efforts are contemptible and that through a Mediator, and a Mediator only, I can hope for salvation. That Mediator is Jesus Christ ; through Him I may obtain mercy and pardon, and His righteous blood can wash away my sins. But I do not feel myself sufficiently grateful to Him, having sufficient faith in Him, sufficiently desirous of living only for Him and to Him, or feel Him absolutely necessary to me. Should I not pray for all this ? I have I have but I cannot pray as I ought to pray. I cannot draw nigh to God in spirit and in truth. I do not approach Him with a humble and con- trite spirit, and with that awful veneration which I ought to experience. The busy thoughts of the world and lite- rary subjects intrude, and call off my attention from the solemn occupation in which I am engaged, and thus I rise from my knees more guilty than when I began to kneel. my God ! Enable me distinctly to discern the path in which I should walk, and give me strength to pursue it.' He reveals also to Mr Burnard, April 9, the nature of the emotions which gave birth to such sentiments. ' My uneasiness is not the cause, but the effect of the humiliating SEARCHINGS OF HEART. 91 sense under which I labour, of my own moral and religious imperfections.' ' It originates in a lately awakened sense of my unworthiness. I am afraid that mine is a cold theo- retic belief, rather than an effectual and saving faith.' This anxiety of soul quickened him, taught him from ex- perience the value of prayer as a means of relief, and led him to read the Scriptures with still greater relish and constancy. The idea of becoming a missionary struck a chord in his bosom. When he heard the question thrown out, ' Might not Kitto become a useful missionary, if he studied with effect the only book of sound principles and perfect science ever written ?' he caught at the suggestion, and nobly expressed himself on the character and aims of the missionary enterprise, in a letter to Mr Flindell on the subject. 1 Nay more, he was on fire at the thought of be- coming a minister. In his Diary, March 31, we note this meditation ' Apropos of Kirke White I learn that his deafness was one of the reasons which induced him to relinquish the study of the law for the clerical profession. Till I had learnt this, I had understood that a defect of hearing was an insurmountable bar to entering into Holy Orders. Were it possible, my God ! that I could become a minister of Thy Word ; that I could be permitted to point out to erring sinners the paths of peace and salvation, what more could I desire of Thee ? If an ardent zeal for the salva- tion of souls, if an unshaken belief in the faith promulgated by Jesus Christ and His apostles, if a fervent attachment to the Scriptures, and if a deep sense of the natural de- pravity of human nature, are qualifications for the ministry, then I am so qualified. How truly happy should I be in some retired and obscure curacy, where I should have no other business but the delightful one of instructing others in their 1 Essays and Letters, p. 49. 92 THE WOEKHOUSE. duty to God and their fellow-men, and in which I should have sufficient leisure to read, to study, and to write !' Gate of the Hospital of Uie Poor's Tort CHAPTER III. EXETER. WHILE his mind was in this propitious state, Kitto was introduced to Mr Groves, a dentist, residing at Exeter. Mr Harvey had hinted at a University education for him, and believed that he had sufficient interest to obtain a fellowship. But Kitto's other friends would not entertain such a proposal. He was, therefore, left free to form an engagement with Mr Groves, who had heard something of his history, and had judged favourably of him, from having seen one of his letters to Mr Flindell, editor of the Western Luminary. Mr Groves offered to instruct Kitto in his profession, to board him, and give him for his services, 15 the first, and 20 the second year, with prospect of higher remuneration. Kitto accepted the offer, and this engagement was the turning point in his career. It deepened and sealed his piety, and ultimately led him to the East, in preparation for the great work of his life. He had already written a paper on the Antinomianism of Dr Hawker, which shows some familiarity with Scripture, though not a very distinct conception of some portions and aspects of the scheme of grace. But the example of Mr Groves quite electrified him, and every fibre of his heart vibrated under the living impression. A vital and decided change passed over him, the result of long pre- paration and prayer. 94 EXETER. His mind had been always susceptible of religious im- pression, but it had not yet quickened into life. The blade had shot up, but there now began to appear the ' full corn in the ear.' He had put on record, before he left the hospital, a specimen of his prayers, in a style of no ordinary magnificence a specimen which becomes a moral and intellectual wonder, when we consider the upbringing and the circumstances of him who wrote it a boy, ren- dered totally deaf by an accident, suffered to grow up uneducated, made a pauper by his father's vices, and now learning an humble trade in a workhouse : ' MORNING PRAYER. ' King of the Universe ! I, an atom of that universe, dare humbly pray Thee to incline Thy ear, while at Thy footstool I confess that I am a wretched sinner ; that I have broken Thy laws, and Thy commandments I have trodden under my feet ; that I have slighted Thee, my Maker ; that I have not done my duty to Thee, my neigh- bour, or myself; that I have deserved nothing at Thy hands but Thy displeasure. I have wasted the precious moments which Thou gavest me to improve. I have murmured at Thy decrees, because Thou, in Thy mercy, wast pleased to afflict me, and because Thou gavest me to drink of the cup of affliction. I have not loved Thee as Thou oughtest to be loved. I have suffered impure desires and evil passions to influence my actions. In short, O Lord, I am a miserable self-convicted sinner. I have deserved Thy wrath and fearful indignation ; and I do not remember one good action that ever I did, which makes me know that Thou alone canst save me. Therefore, Almighty God, overburdened as I am with sin, I dare humbly sue Thee to pardon my sins ; remember not against MORNING PRAYER. 95 me my iniquities, bat blot them from the book of Thy remembrance, and erase them from the tablets of Thy memory. Hear me, God, when I cry to Thee for that mercy I do not deserve. Give me, most merciful Father, the gifts of Thy grace. Give me repentance, for, without Thy aid, I cannot repent of my sins nor abide by my purpose of leading a new life ; without Thy aid I cannot know myself. Give me, Eternal King, faith, that no doubts may obtrude themselves, that I may believe in Jesus Christ, and keep Thy law. Do Thou also grant unto me, Lord, content, that I may be satisfied with whatever situation in life it be Thy pleasure to assign me, and that I may be convinced that whatsoever Thou doest is for my benefit ; and that I may thank Thee even for the rod with which Thou dost chastise me. ' I most humbly entreat Thee, Omniscient God, to grant me strength to resist the allurements of sin, Satan, my own flesh, and mine own thoughts, that I may not give way to temptation, but resist it. Take from my breast, Lord, this heart harder than adamant, black with impurity, and stubborn and, O Lord, substitute in its place a heart purified in the blood of Jesus. ' Inspire Thou those under whom I am placed with kindness unto me, and give me, Lord, power to please them. Shed over me Thy grace, and reveal Thyself unto me, through Jesus Christ, in whom alone we can know Thee, and that I may become a new being, casting off all evil habits and unholy feelings, and conduct myself as be- seemeth a being whom Thou hast redeemed. Guide Thou my steps in the way which, though to mortal eye it is rough and unpleasant to the sense, leads to everlasting life. And do Thou, Almighty Power, give me strength to avoid the road which appears to abound with unalloyed pleasure, but which leads to eternal death. 96 EXETEK. ' If it be Thy pleasure to give me hereafter affluence, grant that I may not abuse Thy bounty ; if poverty, grant that I may not murmur ; but I pray Thee, Lord, grant me not riches nor poverty yet not my will, but Thine always be done, for Thou knowest what is for my benefit better than myself. ' Bless, God, my benefactors, relatives, and friends. Teach me how to pray unto Thee, in spirit and in truth. ' Grant me, Lord, I humbly entreat Thee, grace that I may so conduct myself here on earth, that when it is Thy pleasure to take me hence, I may die with the con- viction that my sins are pardoned, and that at the last I may be able to exclaim, " death ! where is thy sting ? grave ! where is thy victory ? " ' Lord ! be merciful to me, a sinner, and grant that I may be one of that happy number to whom it shall be said, " Well done, good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of thy Lord." I ask from Thee not, Lord, worldly blessings. I ask of Thee neither fame, nor riches, nor honours, but, Lord, I ask of Thee a pure and contrite spirit. I ask of Thee patience, to bear with resignation whatsoever afflictions Thou art pleased to send me. ' I thank Thee, Father, for the manifold favours I have received from Thee. I thank Thee for life, health, friends, connections. I thank Thee that Thou hast for- bore hitherto to punish me as my sins have deserved. I thank Thee for all the good I have enjoyed, or may enjoy hereafter; particularly for the protection Thou hast af- forded me heretofore, especially in the past night ; and 1 humbly pray Thee to continue my Protector through the coming day, and grant that at the end thereof, I may look back on a well-spent day. These, and all other favours, which are for my good, I pray Thee grant in the name of Thy beloved Son, Jesus Christ, Who loved our PROGRESSIVE PIETY. 97 souls so well, that He took upon Himself our sinful nature, bled for our sins, bore Thy anger in our stead, and suf- fered death for our iniquities, and Who taught us, in the perfect form of words, to say, " Our Father Which art in heaven," etc. ' The above is not all that I pray for, only a brief view of the principal heads. What say you to it, dear Harry ? Xot worthy the Being to whom it is addressed ? ' But in Exeter a great spiritual advance had been made, experience had ripened, and he discloses himself to Mr Burnard, June 1824: . . . ' When I look back, I am surprised at the very great change which has taken place in my views since I came hither a change which I had never anticipated a change which clearly convicts me, in many former instances of my life, of folly and impropriety and a change which, I hope, will ultimately, under Divine teaching, make me wise unto salvation, and enable me to become a Christian, and an useful member of society. . To what is this change to be imputed ? Perhaps to a more exclusive contempla- tion of Divine things, to a more attentive study of the Word of Life, to abstraction from many temporal things which at Plymouth too deeply interested me and engrossed my thoughts, to my intercourse ,with Mr Groves; but chiefly, I conclude, to the grace of God, who has at length permitted that " day -spring from on high" to arise, for the appearance of winch I have long prayed, and which, when fully risen, will enable me to behold the beauty of holiness in all its glory and perfection, and by the strengthening influence of the Holy Spirit, to pursue that light which will then be revealed more completely than at present.' Again, writing to the same correspondent, in September, he reverently marks his first sacramental enjoyment : ' Since I wrote last, I have for the first time partaken of o 98 EXETER. the Communion, and the day in which I did so was one of the most pleasant in my life most particularly was it distinguished by that absorbing and sublime devotional feeling which it is my most earnest desire may ultimately become the continual feeling of my daily life, repelling worldly affections and earthly wishes, and making me per- petually act and think from the simple motive of love to our Divine Master. ' You must be sensible, from the tone of my letters to yourself and those which you may have seen of mine to other persons that the John Kitto you will see, is rather a different person from the John Kitto you have Been ; and I am sure you will rejoice with me when you understand that this is not a mere alteration of the external manners or appearance, but an alteration most deeply felt in the heart, and entering into every feeling, every passion of, the mind, insomuch that I should now be disgusted with much in which I once delighted, and many things are now most pleasant and delightful, which once were indifferent to me.' Kitto got on well with Groves, as his Diary shows : ' May 19. Troubles of Latin.- Surely this inaptitude must lower me in Mr Groves' estimation. ' May 22. Mr G. desired to know if I was happy in my situation with him. I replied " that it was beyond my anti- cipations, and equalled my wishes." It would be ungrateful were I to express myself dissatisfied with his disinterested and zealous endeavours to promote my happiness arid com- fort. He added, " That it would be a subject of great regret, if any consideration should induce me to wish to leave the bosom of a family, to every member of which I was an object of interest and attachment." ' During his residence at Exeter, Kitto corresponded regu- larly with his Plymouth friends, upon a variety of themes, SPIRITUAL EXERCISES. 99 and treats, for example, in a series of letters, the topic of capital punishments. Subjects seem to have been proposed to him from time to time ; and his style, through exercise, acquired considerable freedom and energy. He was in the habit of distributing tracts in Exeter, and he was often pained by the scenes of profligacy which he witnessed such as ' fellows emerging from a beer-house, and fighting in the street.' ' My dear sir, my heart is quite sick when I contemplate such scenes of brutal violence. Reflecting on this state of things, it is the duty of every one whom the Holy Ghost has enlightened, whatever his rank or degree may be, to devote himself exclusively to the service of his Master, and to aid His great cause to the utmost stretch of his power. . . . Now, my dear sir, of what I have said I would make personal application, and ad- dressing the Master, say, Behold me, then, my Father ! I offer myself, and all that Thou hast made me, to Thee. Send me where Thou wilt, do with me what Thou wilt, and require my services as Thou mayest, I thank Thee that Thou hast made me willing to obey Thy summons ; and. Eternal God, so prosper me, as by Thy grace I seek, above all things, Thy glory and Thy honour.' 1 The portion of his Diary which describes his sojourn at Exeter, concludes with the following prayer : ' Almighty and ever-living God, who madest all things, and lovest all that Thou hast made, deign to incline Thine ear to the prayer of a sinner, who thus humbly, at Thy footstool, en- treats of Thee, not this world's goods, or its pleasures, or its honours, but that portion of Thy grace, that infusion of Thy Spirit which maketh wise unto salvation. Grant me these, Righteous Father, and nothing more do I entreat of Thee, for in these all lesser blessings are included. If it be Thy good pleasure that I should drink to the dregs that 1 Letter to Mr Burnard, 24th March 1825. 100 EXETER. bitter cup of adversity, of which I have already drunk so largely, proportion my strength to the trials which Thou givest me to undergo ; make me submit, in humble acqui- escence, to Thy chastening rod, and make me, in circum- stances of apparent sorrow, to exclaim, " Father, if it be Thy pleasure, take this cup from me ; nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done." But if, on the other hand, Thou bestowest upon me those things which men so highly seek and desire, grant that they may have no injurious effect ; that they may not draw my heart from its hold on Thee, and that I may feel myself nothing more than the steward of Thy bounties, and the deputed dispenser to the poor, the unhappy, and the destitute, of a portion of those blessings which Thou mayest give to myself, or rather which Thou hast deigned to give me in trust. If what I have asked be for my good, grant it, Father, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.' That Kitto had surrendered the ' fortress of his silence,' prior to the time he left Plymouth, is evident from some statements in what he calls his ' Private Diary.' Who his ' little flame ' was, we know not, except by name. He was always fond of female society he loved sisterhood. An impression had been made upon him, which cost him no little pain, when with ' many terrible conflicts ' he sacrificed it on what he believed to be the shrine of duty, and in obedience to the warnings of Mr Groves. ' April 24. Visited H. this evening ; communicated as much as I thought necessary of my Exonian destination. She did not seem much more pleased with it than with the more superb University plan, an insight into which I gave her. Well, whatever happens, God preserve her, and make her happy, and while she is so, I can never myself be com- pletely miserable.' We have given the previous extract, simply to show FIEST LOVE. 101 that, while so many painful circumstances had conspired to make Kitto solitary and dull, and force him into a lonely and self-devouring asceticism, he had neither sunk into moroseness, nor avenged himself by a scornful misan- thropy. He could not exclaim, 'man delights not me, nor woman neither,' for, to his benefactors of the one sex he was sincerely grateful, as his letters testify, and there was one in the other sex who had power to attach him, and charm him out of his solitude, and of whom he says, after the correspondence had been broken off, ' she clings to my heart with a force almost irresistible.' He had pleaded, and that powerfully, for this attachment, against the remonstrances of Mr Burnard. This susceptibility of a first love shows that his heart had not been utterly wrecked by his bitter experiences. He had been saved from himself even when a hard and dry incrustation seemed sometimes to be gathering about him. ' Nay,' he says in his volume of Essays, published soon after (p. 85), ' mar- riage is in general the principal component part of a happy home.' In an Essay on Beauty (p. 102), he declares, ' I am an enthusiastic admirer of personal beauty. Expres- sion is to beauty what the soul is to the body. I now repeat, I am an enthusiastic admirer of female loveliness. . . . Mental charms in. a woman will give pleasure and excite admiration, when the attractions of beauty and youth exist no longer.' . . About this time, iu the beginning or spring of 1825, the volume of Kitto's Letters and Essays just referred to, was published. 1 Neither title-page nor preface has any date. The duodecimo, of 210 pages, was patronised by above 400 subscribers. It is premised that the volume does not ' consist of papers composed expressly for publication. iys and Letters by John Kitto, with a Short Memoir of the Author. Ply- mouth. 102 EXETER. They are selections from letters which he wrote in the workhouse, and essays with which he exercised his fond - ness for literary occupations, and they were chosen from the mass of his writings, rather to give an impression of the character of his mind and talent, than as conveying any particularly striking or original views of the subjects of which it treats. . . The volume is now offered to the public in the hope that it may justify the attention Xhat has been paid to the merits of this deserving young man, and that it may be the means of affording him en- couragement in the pursuit of that line of conduct by which he now gratifies his friends.' It may be well to pause for a moment over Kitto's earliest production, as the index and fruit of his mental progress ; and as many of its sections are autobiographical, we may find confirmation of the statements we have already made, and learn how, in the dawn of his release, he regarded his previous hardships, what trains of re- flection they suggested, what circles of emotions they pro- duced, what lessons he extracted from them, and what share they had in directing and moulding his subsequent career. And first, there was realized, to some extent, another and early dream of Kitto, which he has given in his Work- house Journal, with considerable picturesqueness and power. He represents himself as being in a book-shop, ' and well-dressed ' a sly hit at the poor-house uniform. He is surveying on the counter his own journal in a pub- lished form, when a family enter the shop a sage father, ' a flauntily-dressed elderly lady, with their son and daughter, both dressed as a dandy and dandyzette.' The young coxcomb laughed outright as he took up the volume. ' When asked what excited him, he read the title-page of my unfortunate book " Journal and Memoranda of a Man SATIRICAL DREAM. 103 with Four Senses, by John Kitto, Shoemaker, Pauper," etc. " Was there ever such a thing heard," continued he, " as for a pauper ! a shoemaker ! to write anything proper for the perusal of a man of sense !" adjusting the ribband of his quizzing-glass, with the air of a person well satis- fied with his own sense. " Xo, certainly," said his mother, " and I would wager a guinea that it may be classed among the Methodistical jargon which the authors are pleased to call Journals, and of which so much has been obtruded on the public." " I, too, would wager a guinea," said the young lady, "that in this bantling of wax there are no tender embarrassments no ghosts no tears of sensibility nor any duels for nothing but the most gross vulgarity can be expected from this son of the awl." " Yes, indeed ! was ever such extravagance heard of, as for a shoemaker, an occupation found only among the very dregs of the vulgar, to pretend to write a book ? I should not now wonder, 'pon my honour, if the barber should favour us with a treatise on beards the sign-dauber with a history of painting or even the catgut-scraper with a history of music," concluded the young gentleman, witli a loud and long "He ! he ! he !" at his own wit ; " for," added he, " they may as readily do it as a pauper write a Journal." The grave looking old gentleman, who had attentively listened to all that had been said, advanced towards the rest and said, " Ladies and young man, I must dissent from what all of you have said " (an angry and satirical "indeed!" proceeded from all three at the same time) The old gentleman, not noticing this inter- ruption, proceeded " Particularly with regard to what has been said about the incapability of mechanics. For, from my own experience, I can assure you that I have met with genius, probity, and honour, in many instances, among what you are pleased to call the dregs of the peo- 104 EXETER. pie. I have always looked upon an honest mechanic, though even a shoemaker, as a much more useful member of society than he who, blessed with affluence, holds time a burden who lives merely to circulate that which would make hundreds happy, and who spends every hour, every day, in what is falsely called pleasure, and who lives for not one of the ends of his creation ; who, so far from im- proving that time which every hour shortens, thinks him- self happy when he has hit on an idea to kill that time of which he is not certain of a moment's continuance. But the best way to convince you of your error is to give you examples of genius amongst the lower classes. I will mention but a few names of the many that occur ; as, for instance, R. Bloomfield, Burns, Chatterton, G. Morland, Savage, Lloyd, Otway, and Shakspere. I scarce need have told any but you that most of these were poets very celebrated poets, and more particularly that Bloom- field was a shoemaker the fourth was one of our best English painters and yet non$ of these were bred in affluence, nor were their talents cultivated by education. But with regard to the book, the merits of which you have decided without opening its pages, I have read it, and though written by a pauper, it does not sink much below mediocrity the misfortune of the author renders it in some measure interesting ; the language is simple, the orthography not very incorrect ; it has some humour ; learning cannot be expected ; yet the author is not igno- rant, and he seems an honest youth, with sentiments much above his condition. Upon the whole, it is better than could be expected from one of his years and situation ; and if it does no good, it will have the negative merit of doing no harm, and it shall be placed in my library." ' He who could so express himself was on the high way to write a book, and leave behind him the ' flannel jacket MULTIFARIOUS BEADING. 105 and leathern apron ' the badge of poverty and St Crispin, and must soon cease to be ' shoemaker and pauper.' The volume bears witness to his multifarious reading. One wonders how he had found time to run through so many books, and read them so carefully as to be able to make such frequent and pertinent allusions to them. The amount of his reading would not have dishonoured a university student ; nay, few of them lay in such a stock of general information. In metaphysics, intelligent and distinctive reference is made to Malebranche and Hume, Reid and Stewart, Berkeley and Des Cartes, Locke and Stillingfleet. Lord Bacon and Madame de Stael are fami- liarly quoted. In an essay on Sublimity,' where he refers to the fine arts, he contrasts the Tuscan and Doric orders of architecture with the Gothic, especially as seen in West- minster Abbey, and in the ruins of Tintern and Glaston- bury ; tells what the pencil of Salvator Rosa achieved, and what Gainsborough could effect ; assigns their re- spective positions to Titian and Raphael ; then passes on to sculpture, criticising the Apollo Belvidere, the group of the Laocoon, and the Choragic monument of Lysicrates. His papers, entitled 'Rabnah and Abdallah,' are rather happy imitations of the once famous Jewish apologues of Ilawksworth and Johnson, and many of the ' desultory reflections,' which conclude the volume, are terse, pointed, and memorable. Kitto denies imitation in style, but many of his first compositions controvert the statement. He fell unconsciously into such imitations. What he had been reading deeply interested him, and left its im- press on his next composition, while inability to hear his own sentences prevented him from detecting the similarity. Does not the following sentence sound like a piece of a Saturday Spectator? ' When we consider the numberless claims that the 106 EXETER. Deity has to our gratitude, our adoration, and our love what a great Friend, a merciful Father, and a bounteous Benefactor He has been to us, and that on Him depends everything we value and desire the coldness with which we sometimes perform our religious duties appears to me truly strange and unaccountable.' Would not the following pass for a portion of the Kambler ? ' It were well, perhaps, if the wealthy and the prosper- ous could have a periodical fit of misfortune, which, inde- pendent of its other uses, would give them an opportunity of discovering who were their real and who their pretended friends.' There occurs also in the Workhouse Journal a pretty good imitation of Sterne, in an account of a real occur- rence. Kitto describes a poor fellow Avho, from a double amputation, shuffled along on his knees, but did not beg. A marine, passing him, poured the whole contents of his pocket into the maimed man's hand, went away, and wiped his eyes, as if he thought a tear disgraceful. ' Thou wast wrong, generous soldier ! That tear, that action did thee more honour in my eyes than if thou hadst slain with thine own hand thousands of thy fellow-men, and wert therefore called a hero ! Thou, noble veteran ! wast more charitable and more praiseworthy than a rich man if he had given fifty pounds. Thou gavest thy little all. In the perils of war, and temptations of peace, God be with thee, generous marine!' Kitto was fond of Shakspere, and specially fond of Spenser ; and his proneness to form allegories, and shape his fancies into dreams, arose probably from this last predilection. His deafness laid him under the necessity of writing. The thoughts of his heart struggled for utterance; and what could not be spoken, must at least be written. Had COMPOSITION A NECESSITY. 107 he been able to converse freely, his feelings would have sooner expended themselves, and when afterwards com- mitted to writing, would have lost somewhat of that in- tensity which characterised them. But his emotion, un- wasted by oral expression, appears on 'paper with undiluted strength. Even his ordinary thoughts, pent up within him, and turned over again and again, and examined on all sides, in prolonged and undisturbed reflection, assumed a mature fulness and symmetry when his pen gave a deli berate and final u/tterance to them. This record of his inner history is striking and characteristic : ' I never was a lad! From the time of my fall, deprived of many ex- ternal sources of occupation, I have been accustomed to think, to find sources of occupation within myself; to think deeply ; think as I read, as I worked, or as I walked. Even in my sleep I dreamt ; the addresses, letters, sermons, puns, bon-mots, and tales, I have composed in idea, would, if committed to paper, fill a folio. While other lads were employed with trifles, I thought as a man, felt as a man, and acted as a man.' Yet the appetite for human inter- course led him again and again to write as if addressing another party in an ideal dialogue ; and the same yearn- ing for social speech prompted him to write formal letters to himself, specimens of which are inserted in this published collection. The solitary boy created an imaginary com- panionship. Some of his letters and papers, illustrative of previous parts of his life, have been spoken of already, such as his letter to Mr Flindell on the moral dignity of a mis- sionary, and his essay on suicide. There is, in fine, an excellent paper in the volume, suggested by a passage in Bishop Hall's ' Balm of Gilead,' which unfolds much of his inner thoughts. In harmony with what the good bishop has said, he delivers his own experience : ' Next in pre-eminence in the list of misfortunes, after 103 EXETER. blindness, comes deafness. To me the whole world is dumb, since I am deaf to it. No more the music of the human voice shall charm. All around, below, and above me, is solitary silence ever-during silence stillness un- broken. Words of advice, of comfort, of instruction or reproof, to me convey no knowledge, nor make me wiser, better, or more happy. For me the feathered warblers tune their little throats in vain ! To me the violin or the harp gives no music ; the deep-toned bell and the pealing organ, no sound. Behold the people crowd to the house of God, to hear the preacher display the riches of redeem- ing love ; but if I go I hear not his words, which to me alone are profitless ; I hear not his voice, which only to me is mute. I am now a mere cipher among men of no value, importance, or estimation. My door is shut, and ever barred against the entrance of knowledge ; and in 110 capacity can I hope to be a useful member of the commu- nity. Liable to continual mistakes and mortification cut off from social communication incapable of receiving pleasure from many of the impulses of sympathy, and of enjoying congenial intercourse a being completely solitary and desolate, life would be robbed of all its sweets did there not exist some " Motives for consolation." Some of these consolations are mentioned by the pious prelate : " Had it pleased God to shut up both senses from thy birth, thy estate had been utterly disconsolate ; neither had there been any access for comfort to thy soul : and if He had done so to thee in thy riper age, there had been no way for thee but to live on thy former stow : but now that He hath vouchsafed to leave the one passage open, it behoves thee to supply the one by the other, and to let in those helps by the window which are denied entrance by the door." ' Kitto then proceeds with his PRIVATIONS OF DEAFNESS. 109 comment : ' An anonymous author tells us that " The way to be happy, is to look down on those who suffer, and not up to those who shine in the world." This I hold to be an excellent maxim, and, to be consistent with it, though I cannot look much lower than myself, instead of lamenting the loss of my hearing, I will rejoice that I am not blind. I thank Thee, O my Father ! that Thou didst rather close the doors than the windows of knowledge and delight; and that, having barred the doors, Thou didst not also darken the windows. If I were both blind and deaf, in what a wretched situation should I be ! If both the windows and doors were shut, whereat could knowledge enter ? It has been my earnest endeavour, since my fall, to " supply the one sense by the other," and to give entrance at the window to as much information as I could possibly obtain. If I could not read, how deplorable would be my condition; and I earnestly entreat all -who may chance to read this, of whatever condition, sex, or degree, that they will not be backward in lending me books ; for if they attentively reflect on my situation, they will perceive that no other sources of information, knowledge, or in- struction, and, I might add, of amusement, are left open to me than those which books afford. Without books, I should quickly become an ignorant and senseless being, unloving and unloved, if I am not so already. I apprehend that I have sometimes offended my acquaintance, by the importunity with which I have solicited the loan of books. But if I had a house full of books myself, and knew any person to whom they would be so necessary as to me, and who would make so good a use of them as I do, I would not stay to be entreated, nor scruple to lend any, or all of them, in succession, to such a person. What earthly pleasure can equal that of reading a good book? O dearest tomes! Princely and august folio! Sublime quarto ! 110 EXETER. Elegant octavo! Charming duodecimo! 'Most ardently do I admire your beauties. To obtain ye, and to call ye mine, I would work day and night ; and to possess ye, I would forbid myself all sensual joys. . . . The Almighty afflicts but to bless. Notwithstanding that His judgments often seem harsh and severe to those who are afflicted, they are in reality just and merciful. It is mercy in Him when He sends us one evil to preserve us from some greater and more serious ill. How do I know but that God per- mitted my deafness, as an instrument through which I might be saved from some far worse evil, which He fore- knew would have happened to me if I had continued pos- sessed of my hearing. But be that as it may, while I regret the loss of a valuable sense, can I ever forget to thank Thee, O my Father ! that, when I fell, I did not lose my reason or life instead of my hearing? Never I' 1 Such, then, was Kitto in his twentieth year an unfor- tunate and feeble stripling, who had sunk into poverty and wretchedness, nay, had fallen so low as to dwell in a workhouse to acquire a trade, and thus become, as the guardians thought, provided for. Now, through his talents and character, he has emerged into a position of respect- ability, has turned his busy reading to good account, is the author of a handsome volume, patronised by many of the clergy, and by peers and peeresses of the realm, and is talked about as a kind of prodigy. The Hospital of the Poor's Portion is proud of him, and he is in the way of higher preferment, though as yet his friends discern not his ultimate career, nor does he himself foresee the rugged and devious path by which he must reach the great labour of his life. Yet he hints to Mr Burnard that he is in high hopes of prospective authorship. 'If my days be lengthened, nothing is more likely than that I shall publish 1 This Essay is dated Plymouth Workhouse Feb. 16, 1823. ANOTHER STEP UPWARD. Ill again ; but never will I publish, unless it be something far more worthy of attention than this ; ( but I question whether my next publication, however superior to this it may be, will be equally well supported.' Right, and yet' wrong. His next publication was both vastly superior and far better supported. But he did not as yet even dream of it, for it was the Pictorial Bible with which his name has become identified, nor was he then trained and equipped for such an undertaking. A fortunate change speedily took place in Kitto's con- dition. Mr Groves had been for some time contemplating the work of a missionary for himself, and had kept terms at Trinity College, Dublin, to prepare for episcopal ordi- nation. As, therefore, his residence in Exeter could not be of long continuance, he was anxious to secure some settled mode of subsistence for his assistant. Several plans were proposed, to enable him, if he should abide by his vocation as a dentist, to practise either in Plymouth or the metro- polis. But a wise Providence had otherwise determined. Mr Groves had learned that the presses at several stations of the Church Missionary Society were in need of hearty workmen, and, knowing the devotedness of Kitto's spirit, and his vast admiration of evangelical labour, he proposed that he should take part as a printer in the great mission- ary enterprise. Kitto caught at the proposal, and thus addressed Mr Woollcouibe : ' Exeter, June 1825. ' SIR, To you and my other friends I feel it necessary to write, before the recurrence of the periods respectively assigned, in order to communicate a circumstance, for which you are more prepared than any of the other gentle- men to whom I am about to write. From something which passed when I had the honour of waiting on you whilst I was at Plymouth, in November last, you are, I 112 EXETER. presume, sir, sufficiently aware of the high interest which I felt in relation to the general subject of missions. And, indeed, from a letter written before I had the least idea of coming* hither, it will probably have appeared that my mind was early impressed with a sense of the great privi- leges and importance of the missionary character. Will not these circumstances, sir, have operated on your mind as preparatives for the intelligence, that I hope myself to be permitted to occupy the high station of a labourer in the vast field of missionary exertion ? That is the intelli- gence I write to communicate. And, requesting to be allowed to suppose, for a moment, the existence of a com- mon feeling in relation to one great object between us, I may be allowed to anticipate your sympathy in the gratification which I derive from having enlisted under the banners of The Church Missionary Society. Attached as I ain to the soft domestic charities of life, and open as my prospects of being permitted to enjoy them were, it cannot be necessary that I should inform you, sir, that nothing but a deep sense of the duty which I owed to Him who has been so very good and merciful to me, and an ardent desire to con- tribute the humble offering of my individual exertions to the great, the noble cause, of assisting to dispel that dark- ness which is so deeply to be deplored, could have induced the offer of my services to that Institution. At a time like this, which may not improperly be considered a crisis in every point of view in which it can be contemplated, I think it very essential that every Christian should assist the mighty energies now in active operation, by the practice of that absolute and exclusive self-devotion to the service of the Almighty, the principles of which the Scriptures so strongly inculcate and enforce. Hence I rejoice in an occasion of practically demonstrating the reality of that willingness, which I have not been backward in professing, CONNECTION WITH THE CHURCH MISSION. 113 to appropriate myself, and every talent which God has committed to my trust, to the cause of Him from whom all things are derived, and whose right they therefore are. To do this is my honour, the highest honour I can attain my privilege, my duty ; and to it every rational considera- tion suggested to my mind every proper feeling of my heart irresistibly impels me, in spite of a certain degree of reluctance which I have naturally experienced at the idea of entering on a career of high moral responsibility and active exertion. Instead of these general statements and reflections, it will, perhaps, sir, be more necessary that I should enumerate the leading features of the circum- stances under which I live. It having been discovered that the Church Missionary Society was in want of printers in various of its stations, the idea occurred to Mr Groves that I might be very useful in such a capacity, and that I seemed peculiarly adapted for such a situation. When I had properly considered the suggestion, I eagerly entered into the idea it contained. Being satisfied, then, that this must be a most useful sphere of action, it of course became my duty to labour in it. Mr G. therefore wrote to Mr Bickersteth, the secretary, offering my services to the Society. No answer was immediately received, but Mr Groves received an intimation from a third person, which induced him to go to London. He was there enabled to put the affair in a more desirable chain of operation than it had previously been ; but the question was reserved for the decision of the Committee, which was held the week before last. On Friday evening information was received that the Committee did not consider my deafness as any material impediment to my usefulness as a printer at one of the Society's stations. They wish me, therefore, to come to London, where I am to be instructed in the busi- ness by Mr Watts, their printer. Printers are much needed H 114 EXETER. in Calcutta, Malta, and several other places ; and if I go out under the Society, my employment will be to super- intend the operations of the natives in the printing esta- blishments. I know nothing, sir, in which I could be more useful than this ; and to be useful is the only object, if I had any preference at all, for which I should wish to live. Even in a temporal point of view, if my mind had even adverted to such a consideration, this would be no unde- sirable provision, as the Society takes care of its labourers in cases of inability arising from sickness, age, or any other cause equally unavoidable with these. Certainly I do not, sir, expect that, either in London, of on any of the Con- tinents, I shall not have many trials and difficulties to sup- port ; but I hope and believe that He who has hitherto been with me will give strength and patience sufficient for me in all the varied circumstances of action and of being to which He may see fit to call me. I remain, Sir, your greatly obliged and obedient servant, ' J. Krrro.' Kitto was accepted by the Board in London, Mr Groves making a liberal offer of fifty pounds a year, for two years, towards the defraying of his expenses. In July 1825 he took up his residence at the Missionary College in Islington, and was assigned to the care of Mr Watts to learn print- ing. What trades he had passed through already bar- ber, shoemaker, dentist, and now a printer ! The last, however, was viewed by him in a spiritual aspect. He was qualifying, as he imagined, for the purpose of circu- lating the Bible and religious books. The work was, there- fore, to his liking. He had thought of various projects before he left Mr Burnard's, and suggested to Mr Harvey 1 ' that active measures should be taken to procure me some 1 Library, September 30, 1823. ACCEPTANCE FOR THE MISSIONARY PRESS. 115 * situation, before the money be exhausted, which you have with so much trouble collected' . . . 'Food and clothing are my only objects.' He had at that time a strong desire to be attached to some gentleman's country residence, as he was willing to work for his maintenance in any humble capacity, provided all his time was not occu- pied, but some of it left for his own literary pursuits. He had a strong aversion to either editorial or subordinate connection with a newspaper, but would not have demurred to being ' connected with Mr Drew and the Imperial Ma- gazine.' Other schemes were afterwards started in his fertile ingenuity, but none of them were adopted. Such a place as that which he had so recently held under Mr Groves had never once been thought of, and his position in Islington as a printer, in connection with the Church Mis- sionary Society, was as remote from his usual anticipations. The calculations of his own prudence had all been defeated, and he could not but feel that, as a ward of Providence, his steps had been under the leading of a kind and invisible Hand. The unschooled cobbler of the Plymouth Work- house was now an honoured inmate of Islington College. CHAPTER IV. ISLINGTON. KITTO was highly gratified with the attention shown him by all the persons connected with the Institution at Isling- ton, and he speaks very decidedly of the piety and zeal of the eighteen students resident in the house. He tells his friends in Plymouth of a great meeting, Lord Gambier in the chair, when fifteen missionaries received parting ad- dresses. It was ' the most grand and impressive occur- rence' he had ever beheld, and, he adds, ' a finer delivery than that of some of those speeches I never witnessed? In Mr Watts' printing-office he learned first to set Greek types, and he enjoyed much 'delightful contemplation while working at his Greek cases.' Then he tried Persic on Henry Martyn's translation of the New Testament. This manual labour was fatiguing, but still he gave himself to reading. He enjoyed what he called 'pocket-reading' that is, taking one of his volumes and reading it as he walked to and from the place of business, and at every spare moment he could snatch during the day. The reader will remember how the boy, either in rags or in the dress of the workhouse, prowled about the bookstalls in Ply- mouth and Devonport, and pored over their miscellaneous and tattered contents. Now, when he had come to London, this passion met with an ampler gratification. He revelled in the luxury, and philosophised upon its superior delights. STOLEN READING. 117 The paradox which he maintains is evidently a relic of his early vagrant life. He rejoiced in his perambulations, and seemed to prefer such half-hours of literary license to undisturbed and sedentary study. ' Bookstalls,' he writes, in high glee, to Mr Harvey, 1 ' are very numerous in and about the town; bookstalls, the least of which will not admit any comparison with any provincial bookstall I have ever seen ; and if I had formerly lived here, I might have had many hours of comfortable reading every day, merely by going from one bookstall to another, and spending half an hour or so at each ; and by the time I might have visited the last in my circuit, I should have been long enough absent from that with which I had begun, to venture thither again, and so on, circuit after circuit. Now, if this state of things be compared with what I have already mentioned to have been the case in Devon, the advantages of a residence in London, to a person of literary habits, is sufficiently obvious in the instance I have selected. Few, on this plan, would be able to boast a larger library than myself. The advantages of such a library are obvious also. First, No money is paid for the privilege. Secondly, The usual effects of sedentary occu- pation are prevented, as "the student is obliged to stand while reading, and to walk both before and after. Thirdly, The opportunity of studying human character is one of peculiar importance ; for the character of the book-man or book-woman, when they form the accompaniment of the stall, which happily is not always the case in London, is a subject of such essential importance to ourselves, that we study them with an anxiety the most intense, and penetration can never be more strongly excited by circum- stances than in such an instance. And, Fourthly, there are peculiar benefits attending this mode of reading. When 1 Islington, January 19, 1827. 118 ISLINGTON. we have books in abundance of our own, or have them in any way at our own disposal, we are apt to neglect them, knowing we can read them at any time we please ; and when we do read them, we are apt to do it cursorily, knowing that we can turn to them again whenever we wish to do so. But at the bookstall we read for our lives. "We know that no time is to be wasted. We know that it is not likely we shall ever see the book again. Stolen reading, too, is sweetest ; and, upon the whole, there is probably nothing we ever read which is so impressed on the memory, and so treasured up in the mind, as that which is read at the bookstall. This is easily accounted for. We know that the only future benefit we can derive from the volume, is that which the memory may afford ; and hence the effort of the mind is strong to retain that which it has taken in. The person likely to avail himself of such a system, has also so little else to read, that the little he does thus read is the more easily retained. The best readers are not those who read most. I read a great deal in the Plymouth library, but I remember less of that than of what I had previously read at my friend's bookstall, and in the windows of booksellers' shops. A person who has many books of his own, or who can get books to read without difficulty, will never understand the advantages of bookstalls as I have related them, because he will want that intense and powerful stimulus which the bookless student possesses.' In the meantime, his eye had not been idle, nor was his heart seared. The pain he had suffered in relinquishing his early attachment did not prevent him from forming another. His heart yearned for affection. He was continually striv- ing, as he tells us, ' to win the affection of children, and was often disappointed in their caprices and fickleness.' Three months after coming to Islington, he had seen a ROMANTIC INTERVIEW. 119 lady at church, who invited him to the joint use of her hymn-book, and he had been pleased by her appearance. 1 He could tell nothing about her. Neither her name nor residence was known to him : nor does he seem to have made any anxious inquiry about them. But one of his periodical illnesses overtook him. He had been leeched on the temples, and during his convalescence he went out and walked one afternoon in Barnsbury Park. As he was re- turning to the college, he happened to enter a shop and engage in conversation with the lady who kept it, and who was a ' respectable and serious-looking woman.' The talk was about Sunday Schools, and ' she supported her part of the discourse on a slate.' She invited her customer into the parlour, which was 'hung round with prints of eminent ministers, framed and glazed.' She showed him the prize-books which her children, six in all, had got at a neighbouring Sabbath seminary, and he naturally wished to see the family. The reply was, that they were all at school but one, and when that one obeyed the maternal summons to appear, Kitto was agreeably surprised to recog- nise in her the object of his previous admiration. She did not, however, recollect him. A courtship naturally began, and proceeded, on successive visits, to his great satisfaction. A matrimonial union was ultimately agreed on. Mr Groves did not now attempt to reason down his passion, but ap- proved of the project, and Mr Bickersteth, the secretary, gave also his formal consent. He lost no time in inform- ing Mr Burnard of his choice, for 'he who has rejoiced in my joy, and sympathized in my distress, will assuredly rejoice with me in this ; and great will be my pleasure, my dear sir, in introducing to you no common character a Christian wife, a Christian daughter, a Christian woman.' 1 The incidents are given by himself, somewhat minutely, in a paper entituled, 'A Memorial of Two Years and a Ilalf of the Life of J. K.' 120 ISLINGTON. Marriage was no new idea to him. Even when he was the immediate protege of charitable friends in Plymouth, and before any door was opened to him, he avows, if he should get a curacy ' Then I shall marry, and shall enjoy domestic comfort and my favourite pursuits at the same time.' Kitto's spirit glowed into poetry when it felt the ' new sense,' or laboured under the ' madness ' which he ascribes to his love, and he sent the following meditation to Mr Burnard. The prelude is ' My dear Sir, Though you know that John Kitto is no poet, still I hope that, at a leisure minute, this may give you pleasure : A KEVERIE ON MARRIAGE. COMPOSED WHILE SITTING TO A PORTRAIT-PAINTER. Full many a man has sunk to rest With social kind affections blest A heart to cherish and enjoy The tender, soft connubial tie. And yet these men have seldom known The social happiness of home; But, served by menial hands and rude, Have mourned in cheerless solitude. Say, such be I, then. Shall I sigh, And sunken and dejected die, Because to human joy unknown, Gently to soothe me there is none ? None to sympathize in glee, And, when I weep, to weep with me ; None to ease life's weary load, And walk with me^ the narrow road ; None near me in the trying hour, Soft balm into my wounds to pour ; None in pain to hold my head ; None to mourn me when I'm dead. LOVE BUDDING INTO POETRY. 121 His hand shall soothe me when in pain ; That hand can make me whole again. In death my God will still be nigh ; Yes ; He'll be with me when I die. Domestic sweets the social band Are doubtless present ; but the hand, Which them and other blessings lends,, Can give a bliss that never ends. Why, then, should I complain and moan, As one quite cheerless and alone? When, having God, in Him I've all We justly happiness can call. Human delights, I ask them not ; Be Thou the guardian of my lot ; And give a heart to count but loss All, all things for the Christian Cross. Give, Lord, a heart of warm desire, Touch it with coals of living fire, And kindle there a radiant flame To burn for ever to Thy name. And Thou, O Man of Galilee, Who bled and agonized for me, Through the strength that's only Thine, Be victory and triumph mine.' ' December 30, 1825.' The lines that succeed were addressed to the object of his devoted attachment. It is now the betrayal of no secret, that if Hannah were substituted for Mary, the poem would stand as originally composed. Kitto himself published it in the ' Lost Senses,' with the fictitious name : '.In silence I have walked full long Adown life's narrow, thorny vale, Deaf to the melody of song, And all music to me mute, From the organ's rolling peal To the gay burst or mournful wail Of harp, and psaltery, and lute. 122 ISLINGTON. Heaven's dread answer I have heard In thunder to old ocean's roar, As while the elements conferred, Their voices shook the rock-bound shore :- I've listened to the murmuring streams, Which lulled my spirit into dreams, Bright hopes, and fair imaginings ; But false as all that fancy flings Upon a page, where pain and strife Make up the history of life : And so, beneath o'ershadowing trees, I've heard leaves rustle in the breeze, Which brought me the melodious tale Of the all vocal nightingale, Or else the cushat's coo of pride, O'er his own new-mated bride. Yes : I have heard thee Nature, thee In all thy thousand voices speak, Which now are silent all to me. Ah, when shall this long silence break, And all thy tides of gladness roll In their full torrent on my soul ? But as the snows which long have lain On the cold tops of Lebanon, Melt in the glances of the sun, And, with wild rush, into the plain Haste down, with blessings in their train : So, Mary, gilded by thine eye, Griefs melt away, and fall in streams Of hope into the land of dreams, And life's inanities pass by Unheeded, without tear or sigh. True, that the human voice divine Falls not on this cold sense of mine ; And that brisk commercing of thought Which brings home rich returns, all fraught With ripe ideas points of view Varied, and beautiful, and new, Is lost, is dead, in this lone state, Where feelings sicken, thoughts stagnate, LINES TO HIS BETROTHED. 123 And good and evil knowledge grows Unguided and unpruned, and throws Too often a dull sickening shade, Like that by trees of Java made, O'er hopes and o'er desires which might Have lived in glory and delight, Blessed and blessingothers, till The gaspings of this life were still. But, Mary, when I look on thee, All things beside neglected lie : There is deep eloquence to me In the bright sparkle of thine eye. How sweetly can their beaming roll Volumes of meaning to my soul, How long how vainly all might words Express what one quick glance affords. So spirits talk, perhaps, when they Their feelings and their thoughts convey, Till heart to heart, and soul to soul, Is in one moment opened all. Mary, one sparkle of thine eye I'd not exchange for all the gems That shine in kingly diadems, Or spices of rich Araby. My heart would count th' refined gold, "Which Eastern kings have left untold, But as a beggar's price, to buy One sparkle of my Mary's eye.' What Kitto had already avowed, was still true of him 4 1 cannot accuse myself of having wasted or misemployed a moment of my time since I left the workhouse.' All his hours were carefully spent. The frugal youth usually had for his dinner, on the days he did not fast, a roll and a sausage, which he bought at a shop in the vicinity of Temple Bar. From a brief journal, in which he wrote occasionally during his residence at Islington, we learn some other particulars of interest. 124 ISLINGTON. 'Aprils, 1826. At the outset I had best make such an arrangement of my time, and form such resolutions, as I have, for a considerable time, had in contemplation, and I pray God that if it be for His glory, I may be enabled to adhere to this arrangement and keep these resolutions. I am sure that it is more than I should be able to do in any strength of my own. ' WORK. ' 1. When business is regular, I purpose to leave Isling- ton for town before breakfast, and leave the office directly after tea. ' 2. Stay at home every alternate Wednesday, and the forenoon of the other Wednesday when not practicable, the earliest opportunity occurring subsequently. HOME. ' 3. When at home from any cause, to spend the morn- ing in writing till dinner. After dinner call on Miss A., 1 and spend the evening as occasion may require reading if possible.' He then specifies the days of the week, with their peculiar duties. Thus, as a sample : ' Wednesday. I have for some time observed this as a day of abstinence and humiliation. But finding that it is very injurious to my head to go without breakfast, I hardly think myself justified in abstaining from it. I shall there- fore take breakfast, and content myself with the omission of dinner and tea.' It may be added, that Friday was observed, like Wednesday, as a fast-day. HOURS OF REST. ' My hours of rest have been very irregular since I left Mr Groves. Sometimes I have gone to bed early some- 1 The visits to Miss A. are set down as very frequent, almost daily, occurrences. DISTRIBUTION OF TIME. 125 times late, but generally very late, so late that I have not thought it worth while to put off my clothes, but have lain down in them, and on an average I have seldom risen earlier than six. I propose, therefore, to go to bed from eleven to half-past, and to endeavour to get into the habit of rising at five. Thus I allow one-fourth of my time, six hours, for sleep, rather more than I can afford. * SCRIPTURES. ' My method has been to divide my Bible into four parts from Genesis to Job, from Psalms to Malachi, from Matthew to Acts, from Romans to Revelation ; and it has been my general rule to read in two of these parts, one of the Old and one of the New Testament, daily, in alterna- tion, so that if I read in the historical part of the New Testament on one day, I read on the same day in the didactic and prophetic part of the Old ; and if I read on another day in the epistolary part of the New Testa- ment, I the same day read in the historical part of the Old. I have found this method more useful and pleasant than any other, and therefore I shall continue to pursue it. ' I appropriate the first half -hour after rising to my Bible, that is, till half -past five, when I am dressed by five, and another half hour in the evening is to be employed in the same way. . . The Bible will be read of course at other times, particularly on Sundays. ' DEVOTIONS. ' The half-hour succeeding those appropriated to the Scriptures, I propose to apply to the purpose of prayer, prefaced generally by the reading of a few hymns ; and I have thought it would be very desirable to apportion the different objects which intercessory prayer should embrace on the different days of the week a plan which I consider as presenting many advantages and great facilities for the 126 ISLINGTON. due discharge of this important duty, the following arrangement : I adopt, therefore, SUNDAY. Morning. For clergymen, and ministers, and their congregations a blessing on the preached Gospel. One o'clock. At this time, on the two first, or when there are five in the month, the three first Sundays in the month, my dear H and myself will be engaged in simultaneous prayer for each other. Evening. Church of England, and the Christian Churches in general a catholic spirit among the different denominations. MONDAY. Morning. England and its authorities. Evening. The States called Christian. TUESDAY. Morning. Religious Societies. Evening. Children Sunday Schools. WEDNESDAY. Morning. Parents and Relatives. Evening. Friends and Enemies. THURSDAY. Morning. Jews. Evening. Turks, Infidels, and Heretics. FRIDAY. Morning. Missionary Societies and Missions. ,, Evening. Simultaneous Prayer. SATURDAY. Morning. Missionaries and Students. Evening. Outpouring of the Holy Spirit on ALL flesh.' A few disclosures from his Diary at this period, will throw light on several interesting points of his experience and character : ' 10. On the sixth I was so very ill when I came home, that I was obliged to lie down immediately, and the next morning continued so unwell, that Mr Yates thought it necessary to send for the medical gentleman who attends the house. He directed that twelve or fourteen ounces of blood should be taken from the back of my neck, by cup- ping, and furnished me with some medicines. I have not been to town since, but I think I feel better to-day than I DEVOUTNESS AND GRATITUDE. 127 have done since Thursday. I have often, during this time, experienced excruciating pains in the head and breast. But I do not repine. I have no cause to do so. I feel and am persuaded that it is sent me for good and not evil, and most truly can I, from experience, say that those periods of indisposition to which I am subjected, have been, and are, visits of mercy, seasons of refreshing to me, from the presence of the Lord. The retirement of a sick cham- ber, too, is pleasant to me, if only from the contrast with the bustling nature of general engagements. Here I can commune with my own heart here I can read, and write, and pray, and, when pained and weary, can lie down in my bed unmolested, and unseen by any but by Him whose presence I seem almost sensibly to enjoy. Oh may these seasons be more and more sanctified to me ! May my Master, my crucified Master, appear thus to me more and more the fairest among ten thousand, and altogether lovely ! May I more and more enter into the chambers of imagery in my own mind, and be more and more strengthened by the Holy Spirit, in tearing down and demolishing every idol, whatsoever it be, which has there exalted itself against the knowledge and the love of God my Saviour. ' 12. I am better to-day than I have been since taken ill ; and, if I do not go to town this week, hope I shall not be detained longer. I have experienced much kind atten- tion from Miss Hart. She has done everything to meet my wishes and render me comfortable, and the very ser- vants, too, have laid me under much obligation, by their uniform manifestations of every little kindness that they may have had it in their power to exhibit. That it is the same with many of my dear fellow-servants, it is super- fluous to say. All are very very kind to me : thus, for in- stance : Brown has come to my room every evening, to dress my neck while it needed dressing, and my dear 128 ISLINGTON. Marsh has called up frequently to see me. When I came, I anticipated that I should be quite among strangers, and was prepared to find it so. But my kind and gracious Master has ordered things otherwise for me than I had expected. I feel that I am among brethren and friends, and that there are several within these walls who feel a most affectionate regard for me. What cause, then, have not I for thankfulness and gratitude to Him who thus far has made crooked places straight, and rough places plain before me ? Oh that this cold heart were more alive and open to all those thankful emotions and impressions which such a continued course of mercy and loving-kindness from my heavenly Father should communicate ! ' 15. Hoping my health would allow me to return to the discharge of my regular duties on Monday, I deter- mined to terminate my keeping at home by a long walk and tract distribution. After breakfast, therefore, I stored my pockets with about eighty tracts,, an equal number of handbills, and some fifteen little handbooks. This, with my Testament, pocket-book, and the last number of the " Register," completely filled my pockets. I walked out about four miles from Islington, and returned by another road. I distributed tracts chiefly in returning, as my walk out was in a very retired direction a road in which I had never been before. I have seldom had a more pleasing excursion than this. The weather was beautiful, and my mind had attained to that exquisite tone of feeling and of thought, of which it is indeed susceptible, but which it is so unfrequently permitted to enjoy. Under a different modification of feeling, I might possibly have contemplated all the objects I beheld, without experiencing that interest they have now communicated ; or without deriving any improvement from them. But before I went, my heart was prepared to respond to the language of the Psalmist, EXCURSIONS FOR TRACT DISTRIBUTION. 129 and to say, " Thou, even Thou, art Lord alone. Thou hast made heaven, the Heaven of heavens, with all their host, and all things that are therein ; and Thou preservest them all, and the host of heaven worshippeth Thee. O Lord, how manifold are Thy works ! in wisdom Thou hast made them all ! The earth is full of Thy riches." And hence I was interested hence I was instructed and im- proved. My walk out, as I have said, was retired. It was one also iu which I had never before walked. It lay sometimes on the bank of the canal, sometimes beneath the shade of trees, sometimes through fields and pleasant lanes, and at others, over steep hills, from which I had extended and beautiful views before me, and could distinctly discern objects which lay at a very great distance from me. My Testament was a most valuable companion to me, and did not leave my hand till I turned my face towards Islington again, and began to distribute tracts in good earnest. While I soared with the eagle-minded John, or rather with the Divine Master whose words he records, the various objects spread around me, and the blue skies above my head, seemed softly to speak to me a sweeter and more exalted language than that which the natural man can hear. The spirit seemed to enjoy a freedom it never had before to breathe an air it never before imbibed and, for a short and fleeting moment, to experience the fore- taste of another world's enjoyments, in holding communion with beings of a higher world ; yea, with Him who, of all beings and all worlds, is the Cause and the Creator ! I think that God, the Holy Ghost, has been graciously pleased more to enlighten my understanding in reference to many things in His sacred Word, which had not appeared to me before, than in any equal period of time within my recollection. Oh! it is most pleasant to feel and know that the self-same hand which wrote the beautiful and 130 ISLINGTON. splendid volume of nature, wrote also the far more precious book of Revelation for us ; that the High and Holy One, who called into being and arranged " The pomp of groves, and garniture of fields, And all the dread magnificence of heaven," is not an abstract quality an awful, unknown something, but the very same Friend, Guide, and Father, who in mercy and in love has revealed Himself in Christ Jesus, the very same whose loving-kindness and whose truth has followed us through all the devious and intricate paths of our pilgrimage, and has brought us hitherto, and who Himself has promised that He will be with us still that He will never leave us nor forsake us, but bear and carry us even to the end. I am fully aware that a man, not duly impressed with a sense of the amazing value of the Christian verity, may yet be capable of contemplating the sublimities and beauties of nature, with exalted emotions of wonder and delight. But he cannot have the interest and kind of property in them which a Christian has he cannot recognise in them the hand of his best and dearest Friend he cannot, oh, he cannot experience that undefined and inexpressible emotion with which the Christian philo- sopher can look below, around, above him, and, laying his hand upon his breast, can say, " My Father made them all." I had a very pleasing success in the distribution of my tracts and I pray my dear Master to let His bless- ing rest on the seed which I have thus been enabled to sow by the way-side. I am looked up to as an authority on tract matters here.' It happened that there was not in the printing-office a sufficiency of Persic types, and Kitto, unwisely using his own discretion, sometimes stayed at home all day, and occa- sionally left the office before the appointed hour. These absences began to be marked, and to form the subject of MISUNDERSTANDING WITH THE COMMITTEE. 131 suspicious comment. Kitto hastened to explain, but his explanation was not reckoned wholly satisfactory. He vindicates himself to Mr Watts thus : ' SIR, I am sorry to be obliged again to intrude on you, but I feel it necessary to mention distinctly that, although I recollect to have said once that I did not think setting up pie was a useful employment of my time, or much calculated to promote my knowledge of the business, yet, I added, what your informant has seen proper to omit, " That if I could obtain nothing better I should do that of course." I never did object to anything else, nor to this more than once. On this subject, however, I hope I shall be pardoned for saying that I think now as I did then. . . . As you are pleased to refer to your apprentices, I would just remark that it seems to me, that as I have so much to acquire in a period so much more limited than theirs, the same system of instruction cannot well apply to both. . . . ' In reference to the irregular attendance you mention, I must be contented with what I said yesterday, that it arose from insufficient employment. I have generally gone to the office every day, even when I expected to find no work. I have waited there, a longer or shorter period, frequently the best part of the day, and if I could get nothing to do, have returned home. I wish to state dis- tinctly now, since I have been misunderstood before, that regular attendance may be expected from me when I have regular work.' But the truth is, that Kitto and the Committee did not understand one another. He was never fond of control, and could scarce endure it in Exeter, where he laments, ' I am less a free agent than formerly.' He wished very much to be master of his time, conscious that he ever made a due and diligent improvement of it. The Committee thought 132 . ISLINGTON. that he was neglecting the main point for which they had engaged him, and that he was slighting the business for which they had hired him. The terms of agreement must have been somewhat loosely made, and Kitto's deafness prevented him from entering into any minute inquiries or stipulations ; for, certainly, had he known that he was ex- pected to give up his entire time to mechanical labour, foregoing his precious and coveted hours of reading, he would rather have remained at Exeter, and cut the ' tusks of certain foreign animals' into the semblance of human teeth. His belief was, that he was bound to learn to print, but bound, in a higher sense, to prepare for writing some- thing that might be printed. He aspired to be at least a translator. Authorship for men's spiritual good was his aim; and every other vocation was, in his opinion, to occupy a subordinate place. The Committee, on the other hand, not knowing what was in him, and not, perhaps, fully acquainted with his habits and his ambition, resolved that he should simply be a printer, and that the setting of types should be the one present employment, and the ulti- mate business of his life, at least in connection with their Society. On being challenged, he made an honest confes- sion, telling how he thought and felt, praying not to be judged harshly, narrating his early experiences and hard- ships, and how the love of books grew so strongly upon Mm. ' I should have been, perhaps, much gratified if my im- mediate duty to the Society could have been more identi- fied with those habits and pursuits, or rather, that they be brought to bear more immediately upon that duty than it appears they can, in the line of employment now chalked out for me. As it is, however, I am very desirous of being informed whether it be indeed, as seems to be intimated, required of me that I should relinquish these pursuits RESIGNATION OF SITUATION. 133 altogether. If it be, I am sorry to say, that I cannot think myself called upon or justified in making any promise to that effect. As the Society could devise no line of service for me which would harmonise more fully with the peculiar bent and tone of my mind, is it therefore necessary that this should be wholly merged in the other ? I do myself think not. I cannot believe, although I have tried to believe it, although I have earnestly prayed that the Lord's thoughts for me, and my own thoughts for myself, might coincide, and although I know that a gift to the service of the Lord's house, would not be estimated according to its intrinsic value, but according to the spirit in which it might be offered, yet I cannot believe that it is designed by Him, whose dispensations towards me have been so strongly marked, that the maximum of my service should depend upon that degree of manual exertion which another a mere printer might perform much better and more efficiently than myself.' 1 He was then distinctly told what was expected from him, and that he could not be sent abroad ' till his altered con- duct should show his cordial compliance with such regula- tions.' This resolution unduly pressed the matter to a crisis ; no sympathy was shown him ; there was no appre- ciation of his peculiarities ; nothing would be accepted but formal and unreserved submission. Aye or no select the alternative at once, and abide by it. Kitto was irritated, and resigned his situation. His friends were exceedingly angry at him, and some of his Plymouth patrons were prepared to cast him off. He was inundated with counsels, and cut to the quick by harsher words and rebukes. But he met with special sym- pathy from the students, whom he delighted to greet as 1 Letter to the Rev. J. X. Pearson, President of the Missionary College, Decem- ber 1826, 134 ISLINGTON. ' brethren and friends.' On the second anniversary of the Institution, he had delivered an address to them, and they had tendered him their hearty thanks by a unanimous and unprecedented vote. Now he sold his books to them, and wrote them a farewell address, which winds up as follows : ' I am permitted to remain a short time at the Institu- tion, till I have arranged matters for my departure to the place whither He, who has led others through the wilder- ness before, may lead me. I leave you, and I do most truly lament that I leave you in a manner so very different from any that I had foreseen or anticipated. Brethren, suffer me to hope that I shall be followed by your prayers. Permit me to believe that you will not consider the bond to be quite broken which bound me up together with you. Forbid it not, that I still look upon myself as a fellow- labourer with you ; indeed, that I still shall hold the sickle of the reaper, to gather in the harvest of God, although I no longer have a reaper's name.' At this period, when so much was at stake, and he must find some employment for himself to live by, he applied to the London Missionary Society ; but his deafness was held to be a barrier to his usefulness as a foreign evangelist. That Kitto was conscious of no such breach of contract as was laid to his charge, may be learned from some in- cidental expressions in his letters. He had written to Mr Woollcombe in June ' I scarcely recollect the time when I have read so little as I do now, certainly never since I left the workhouse.' But he soon regretted the hasty step he had taken, and to Mr Burnard he poured out his spirit : ' I have essayed my own will and my own way, and I have found that will and that way to be bitter. I have therefore endeavoured to return to His way and His will for me. I have thrown myself upon Him again. I have BITTER THOUGHTS. 135 said to Him, " Thou seest I fall except Thou help me. I cannot walk by myself. I will no longer try to do so. Lead me and guide me." I am satisfied that I sinned in relinquishing my connection with the Church Missionary Society. I did not, however, sin with my eyes open. It was the sin of blindness. I do not wish to extenuate. Most of my friends have been offended, chiefly because I gave up a good temporal provision. But that was not my sin, nor was it the real ground on which others should have been angry with me. It was the proud heart, the lofty mind. My offence had been chiefly spiritual, intel- lectual ; chiefly against God, at least more against Him than against man.' In the journal to which we have referred, he also put clown these words of mingled bitterness and hope : ' February 29, 1827. What am I now ? What have I been doing ? I awake as from a dream. In what diffi- culties am I not involved ? Friends dropping away from me on every side, and stripped thus by degrees of human consolation, comfort, hope. Hope, yet I have hope hope not fallacious and delusive, because it is built on the Rock Christ. How desolate now do all things earthly seem to me ! I look around ; all things seem dark, and black, and gloomy and what were I, could I look nowhere but around me ! I look to Thee, O my God ! I wait for Thee more than they that wait for the morning. Arise, arise, O light ! and shine upon me, and enlighten the darkness of my way. I have dealt very treacherously against Thee from my youth up. Yet Thou wert long-suffering, and barest with me, and lo ! Thou hast brought me hitherto, and now wilt Thou leave me now? Thou wilt not. Thou hast promised that Thou wilt not, my God ! Look down upon me in pity, and let not the enemy triumph over me ! Whom have I but Thee to whom can I look 136 ISLINGTON. but Thee. 0, then, teach me to look to Thee indeed, to lean upon Thee indeed, to the end of my journey. I go forth, O my Lord, into the wilderness of this world, and know not whither I go. Thou art my hope. Go with me lead me guide me. Direct my steps and my wander- ings by Thy providence. AVatch over me for good ; and when I have finished my appointed course, receive me to Thy bosom to live, and there be cherished for ever. Do not leave me ; I throw myself upon Thee for guidance and protection ; and when I am far away from those charities and ties with which men do surround themselves when I have no home to shelter me, no pillow on which to lay my head, be Thou my Shelter, my Refuge ; and when my wanderings are finished, do Thou plant me where I may grow, and live, and die to Thy glory, where I may be fruitful as the vine, verdant as the fir, strong as the cedar.' Kitto, four years afterwards, added a note to this ex- tract : ' March 21, 1831. When I wrote the above, I recollect it was my intention to set out on foot and travel in Eng- land, till 1 should find some way or other of subsistence. How little experience, how little knowledge of the world I had then ! I was as a child in every respect. Most likely it would have ended in my being sent to the House of Correction as a vagrant. . . That prayer is better than I thought would be in my heart at that time. The Lord's dealings with me have been wonderful from a child.' It is probable that the example of Goldsmithsuggestedthisdesire to wander through the country a desire which had already been keenly expressed by him when he was in the workhouse. Mr Groves, the Rev. Mr Hatchard of Plymouth, and other friends, interfered for him, and the Society restored him to his place. But he gave a rash pledge, to abandon literary pursuits a pledge which, unless his intellectual APPOINTMENT TO MALTA. 137 nature had been changed, he could not redeem. He praises Mr Hatchard highly, and Mr Groves very highly, for the pains they had taken to secure his reinstalment. He contrasts Mr Groves with others of his friends, whose cold- ness had keenly wounded him. ' He did not say, like others, "Lie in the bed of your own making;" but, though himself the most aggrieved, has come forth repeatedly to my help.' It was deemed advisable that Kitto should be sent forthwith to a foreign station, and Malta was selected as his field of labour. When he was in suspense as to the decision of the Committee, we find him urging not only his own anxiety, but also that of another, as a reason why he should like to have speedy intelligence. He says to Mr Groves, ' for her account, it is therefore my hope to find that the matter is to be decided, or will be soon.' It was resolved, however, that he should go to Malta alone, but that the bans should be proclaimed prior to his departure. This preliminary step was taken, and Kitto expected to be followed in a few months by his betrothed. It may be added, in conclusion, that, during his residence at Islington, and when he was worried so much about his own affairs, which at one time looked dismal, he busied himself in various efforts to find a comfortable situation for a young man, who had recently married Betsy, his eldest and favourite sister. This brother-in-law had come to London in quest of employment, but failed to find it. Kitto notes some of the counsels and comforts which he set before him at one of their interviews, and concludes : 'I spoke of the nature of trials and adversities, the blessed purposes they were calculated to answer ; on trust in God, and casting all our care upon Him, knowing that He careth for us; on seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and having all other things necessary to us. I adverted to my own case. 1 had once nothing. 138 ISLINGTON. The bread I ate, the water I drank, was bitter ; and that bitter bread and water was procured with trouble and difficulty. I had not sought then the kingdom of God and His righteousness ; but since I have been enabled to do so since I have sought, in the first place, objects of pre-eminent and absorbing importance the living water which cometh down from Heaven, the bread which perisheth, and the raiment which waxeth old, have been added to me, and I have lacked nothing. I recommended the seeking of this above all things, and could assure him that if he did so, He who arrays the lilies of the field, and feeds the fowls of the air when they cry, would not fail to take care of him, to feed and clothe him and his also. I went on, at considerable length, in the same strain. I was heard with attention, but not, I fear, with interest. Indeed, I have seen so little out of myself of the Holy Spirit's operations in softening the hardness of the human heart, and I contemplate that heart as so deplorable, and every- thing but hopelessly bad, and disinch'ned to the things of God, that I labour under very great discouragement in speaking and acting, and exert myself, in either way, less from the hope of being instrumental in bringing a blessing to those whom I address, than from the conviction that it is my duty to declare the truth of God on such occasions, and speak and act for Him.' Kitto left England on the 20th June 1827, rejoicing in the work that lay before him, and hoping that the bride he had left behind would soon come out to Malta and be his wife the ornament and joy of his home. The Wilber- force (Captain Denck) was detained for some time at Tor- bay by contrary winds, and Kitto had the satisfaction of feeling that the last land he set his foot on was that of his native county of Devon. CHAPTER V. MALTA. KITTO'S mind had, for some time, been steadily under the power of a motive to which it was originally a compara- tive stranger. The desire of usefulness had supplanted or outgrown the mere love of fame. He craved to be known, in the first instance, and 'get himself a name;' but now his soul was bent on imparting benefit to his fellow-crea- tures. In a letter to Mr Pearson of the Missionary College, he confesses, ' Fame was the idol I was taught to bow down to and worship. I hope that in reference to my- self it is on the throne no longer, and that I have no other wish on this point than that my light may so shine before men that they may glorify my Father who is in heaven.' Let us listen for a moment to his deeper self-analysis, made at a period of subsequent and leisurely meditation : ' It has often occurred to me that the stimulant which the desire of fame offers is specially adapted to one's youth, in which it is indeed most entirely in operation, and that it has been providentially given to that period of life to supply the absence of the more sedate stimulants which advancing life introduces. Rightly understood, it is then an incentive to good and a curb to evil, which, in the spring-time, are so much needed, for he who, in his sanguine youth, hopes that the world will hereafter take 140 MALTA. notice of his course, will not be unsolicitous to keep his garments clean. ' The desire to be honourably known among men the craving for approbation the wish to do something which might preserve one's memory from the oblivion of the grave and the reluctance to hurry on through this short life and disappear along with the infinite multitudes who " Grow up and perish as the summer fly, Herds without name no more remembered : " these things savour, seemingly, of that " love of fame " of which so much has been said or sung. I cannot say that this, as a motive to exertion and to perseverance in the course which I had taken, did not find a way to my mind. ' I have confessed that self-advancement eventually be- came one of the objects which I contemplated as the pos- sible result of my exertions. Very few of my readers will complain of this ; but considering the generally sacred character of my pursuits, which, I will venture to say, have been, however tremblingly, directed not less to the glory of God than to the use of man, some will be dis- posed to ask, whether self-advancement is a legitimate object of exertion ; and whether it was not rather my duty to have been content in the station to which it had pleased God to call me. Now, by " self-advancement," I mean melioration of the evils of my condition ; and no one can object to that without affirming that it was my duty to lie still, to be content and happy, under the unmitigated calamities of the condition to which I had been reduced. I believe that this was not required of me. I am persuaded that the state of life to which the Almighty calls every man is that for which he is fitted, and to which he may be able to rise by the just and honourable use of any and every talent which has been confided to him. In that station let him be cootent, and not waste his heart in aim- INSTITUTION AT MALTA. 141 ing at things beyond his reach. I have read the Bible ill, if this be not its meaning. Saint Paul enjoins the Chris- tian slaves to be content in their stations ; and yet he tells them, that " if they be made free, to use it rather" Was ever any slave in so hard a bondage, bondage so hopeless as that into which deafness brought me ? and if I might by exertions not degrading but elevating be free, should I not " use it rather ?" Let the answer be found in the con- trast between the uselessness of my first condition, and the usefulness of that to which I have now attained.' 1 It was with the view of taking an active and honour- able part in what he reckoned the highest function of re- deemed humanity, that Kitto left Islington. He felt that he was going out to Malta to labour in Christ's cause, for the Master had said to him, ' Son, go work to-day in My vineyard,' and he gladly, and to the best of his ability, obeyed the charge. The institution at Malta had for itsobject to supply tracts to the Church missionaries, in Greek, Arabic, Maltese, and Italian. It had three presses, and employed six indivi- duals. Mr Jowett and Mr Schlienz were the principal labourers, accomplished, scholarly, and devoted. Of Mr Jowett Kitto says, ' He is second to none ; or if second to any, only to Mr Groves ; and Mr Schlienz works, in another way, far harder than we printers do, for he preaches, and that frequently, twice on Sunday.' Though there was not a bookseller's shop in the island, the Romish clergy were their principal opponents, and the circulation of tracts was forbidden by sacerdotal authority. But the works of the missionary press at Malta were largely circulated in other countries. Kitto rejoiced that, in sailing to join such an institution, he was assuming, though in an humble form, the coveted character and position of an evangelist. 1 Lost Senses Deafness, pp. 84 87. 142 MALTA. But his sojourn in Malta was, in Scottish religious phrase, a ' crook in his lot.' The voyage to the Mediterranean was, however, of lasting service to him. His deafness had been accompanied by a growing reluctance to speak, and indisposition to use his vocal organs had almost produced inability. ' When I first went to the Mediterranean, the compan- ions of my outward voyage were Dr Korck, a German physician, who had lately taken orders in the Anglican Church, and Mr Jadownicky, a converted Polish Jew, lately arrived from America, where he had been completing his Christian education. These well-informed and kind-hearted men, being always with me, soon perceived how the matter really stood ; and, after much reasoning with me on the matter, they entered into a conspiracy, in which the cap- tain of the ship joined, not to understand a word I said, otherwise than orally, throughout the voyage. In this they persevered to a marvel ; and as I had much to ask, since I had not before been at sea, I made very great pro- gress with my tongue during the six weeks' voyage, and, by the time we reached our destination, had almost over- come the habit of clutching a pen or pencil, to answer every question that was asked me. From this time I usually expressed myself orally to those whom I knew, in the ordinary intercourse of life ; but when my communication required many words, it was usually conveyed in writing. This also I at length dropped, and strangers only were addressed in writing. Finally, I ventured to accost even strangers with the tongue ; and it was only when not understood that I resorted to the pen. At first, strangers could rarely understand me without much difficulty ; but, under the improvement which practice gave, my voice was so much bettered, that the instances in which it was not readily understood, gradually diminished ; and, at the pre- EXPERIENCES. 143 sent day, I rarely find even a foreigner to whom my lan- guage is not clear.' 1 The gain to Kitto from this voyage, therefore, was immense ; and he felt under no little obligation to his kind and earnest friends, who broke his pernicious habit, and won him back to the use of speech. The voyage was pleasant to him, for he was a stranger to sea-sickness. He felt, indeed, what sometimes terrifies or distresses a landsman, the instability of cabin furniture and dinner equipage from the blowing of smart breezes ; and while he had made up his mind to such annoyances, and could smile at them, yet he liked an occasional calm, and rejoiced over ' the capture of two fine turtles.' His letters to his friends, Woollcombe, Harvey, Lampen, and Burnard, con- tain such details as, in his opinion, would be most relished respectively by each of his correspondents. He states generally, that his mind was no stranger to those emotions which men so often feel on leaving their native shores that a ' feeling of desolateness' had occa- sionally come over him, but that he felt each evening ' Whose presence was with him,' and he hoped that such feelings ' threw him more upon God.' His first sensations, off the coast of Portugal, are de- tailed to Mr Woollcombe, July 10 : ' I fetched my bolster from the cabin, and arranged a bed for myself on the tafferel, by laying Mr Jadownicky's thick cloak along, to lie upon, and then wrapping myself in my own cloak and fur cap, to defend me from the dew. I remember walking about the deck, or sometimes leaning on the gangway, till between twelve and one o'clock, when, feeling sleepy, I retired to my new bed, and lay there, so that I could look the moon in the face till I fell asleep. An accident awoke me about a quarter past two, and then I 1 Lost Senses Deafness, pp. 20, 21. 144 MALTA. got up and walked about for nearly an hour, went to bed again, and slept till a few minutes before sunrise, which of course is considerably later here than in England. The sun rose with great splendour from behind the Lusitanian Mountains, but I have seen far more gorgeous risings of the sun than this, from the Hoe, at Plymouth, and from the Catdown. Both the risings and settings of the sun do not seem such slow and majestic affairs as in England ; and, indeed, I understand that the farther we advance to the south, the shorter is the morning and evening twilight, and 'the less time the sun takes in rising and setting. I have just inquired at the captain, and find that, as I sus- pected, the mountains adjoining the Rock of Lisbon are those of Cintra, of which Lord Byron speaks, in the four- teenth stanza of the first Canto of Childe Harold : " Cintra's mountains greet them on their way." And, indeed, it was to us, as to him, a pleasant greeting, after having been, for so many days, out of sight of any- thing like land.' The good ship Wilberforce, with a ' gilt effigy' of the senator at her prow, entered at length the straits of Gibraltar ; and as Kitto looked alternately on the African and European land, so close on each other, many trains of meditation passed through his mind. He reached Malta in safety on the 30th of July, entering the harbour of La Valetta in the evening, and disembarking next morning. The accommodation provided for him was not of the best description, for he slept several weeks on the floor, and ome time elapsed ere he enjoyed the luxury of a chair and a table. At length he got two rooms, a study and within it a bedroom ' the highest in a high house' but abound- ing in windows, which commanded a fine marine prospect. He had also a bookcase, with a good collection on its shelves. But who will wonder at his confession, that of DA1LT DUTIES. 145 an impatient bridegroom ' My heart was in England, and my mind continually travelled thither ? ' He set to work with ardour, and especially occupied himself with Asiatic types ; nay, he spontaneously entered, at the same time, upon Arabic studies. The literary departments were filled by the clerical missionaries, and the translators were natives of the countries into whose languages they were rendering Christian books and tracts. From half-past seven till half- past four was he occupied every day in the printing office. He liked his work; and he rejoiced in its prospective results. He declares, in his letters, how happy he was that his connection with the Society had been renewed. ' It is easy,' he says to Mr Burnard, November 13, ' to talk about missionary service when we are at home, or even when we are preparing at home for personal service in the cause, and yet understand very little of what it really is. In this, as in other things, an ounce of experimental know- ledge is worth a pound of speculation or conjecture. . . . Believe me, it is not my wish to magnify any sacrifice I may have been enabled to make ; far from it. I only mention this that I might say how " the consolations of Christ" do abound in these situations, notwithstanding the difficulties and sacrifices with which they must be obtained. In my own case, I feel that my most ordinary employments, even my daily occupations, are, with the blessing of God's Spirit, calculated to be the means of great usefulness to the Christian cause. This is what few, but those in our situation, can say of their most ordinary duties.' Kitto saw the carnival, with all its puerile follies, which he alleges were on the decline not more than a fourth part of the people wearing masks, and the maskers being prohibited from tossing sugar balls at the unmasked, or hi any way molesting them. ' Sweetmeats, generally small comfits, were thrown about in great abundance, chiefly by K 146 MALTA. English and Russian officers, who had small bags full, which they frequently replenished at the stalls. These were gene- rally thrown into the coaches, in the faces of the ladies, who commonly returned the compliment with zeal, and often were the first to give it.' The Committee in London, by one of their minutes, dated March 20th, 1827, on readmitting Kitto to their employ- ment, and sending him to Malta, gave a conditional sanc- tion to his marriage, ' on the understanding, that, at a future period, should he conduct himself to Mr Jowett's satisfaction, H. A., to whom he is under matrimonial engagements, may join him at that place, with a view to their marriage.' But the lady of his heart, whom Kitto had left behind him in England, proved faithless to her engagement. He was disposed to blame the Committee at home for being careless about forwarding his correspond- ence. ' I have now,' he says, ' been absent from England for something more than eight months, and have not, in all that time, had one letter from Miss A. ; and therefore I feel assured that several successive letters have been left with the Society, on the understanding that they would be sent out. If the separation, for a short time, between us, to which I was unwillingly induced to assent, was at all necessary, this surely is not also necessary. This surely might have been spared.' He did not know what to think about her whom he calls his 'ladye faire' 'she whom I had trusted before all earthly beings she who was dearer to me than all other things my heart ever knew or cherished.' His suspicions, at the end of these eight weary months, were at last confirmed, by the intelligence that she had deserted him, and had been married to another person. His hopes were in a moment dashed to the 7 round, and his heart was oppressed with sad and bitter thoughts. He CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT. 147 had loved intensely, and was in daily expectation of being married. He was ever picturing the comforts of home, when she should fill it and grace it ; but, alas ! she had plighted her troth to another. On receiving the tidings, he went at once into his room, shut the door upon him, and did not leave it for more than two days, not even for his meals. During that dark period no one saw him. The servant became alarmed, and told Mr Jowett. Knocking was vain ; but a ladder was got, that the servant might, by means of it, see hi above the door, and ascertain whether Kitto were dead. On his friends looking into the chamber, he was discovered sitting on his desolate and solitary hearth, with his head bent on his knee. The intelligence grieved him beyond any former affliction which he had been called upon to suffer. ' My spirit is bowed down indeed.' ' I am alone,' he says to one correspondent, ' but what else I am I cannot tell.' ' I often found myself,' he says to another friend, ' engaged in the repetition of two lines, which I must have picked up somewhere at a former period " No more, no more, oh never more on me The freshness of the heart shall fall like dew." ' . . . I know I can never again confide as I have confided. ... I have read over what I have written. It is not all good. There is an unhealthy spirit in it. True, my own spirit is diseased, for it has been deeply wounded, and the wound is not yet healed. May Almighty God give me the spirit of health and strength give me a sound mind bind up again that which is broken heal that which is wounded. He can, I doubt not ; that He will, I am willing to hope and believe. In outward nature He revives again in the spring that which the winter seems to wither away. Does God take care for plants, for trees, 148 MALTA. for flowers, and shall He not take care for me ? Shall not I revive again also ? I will hope that I may, and, believe me, I do endeavour to cast myself and all my cares and troubles upon Him in whom I have never vainly trusted, by whom my confidence and trust have never been be- trayed. I trust He will make good to me all these evils ; and that they may be made instrumental in drawing me still nearer to our crucified Lord, who can give me here comfort, strength, things in my spirit, far better than all I can now lose, than all that can be taken away from me ; and who can give me hereafter " quiet and enduring chambers" in His Father's house, where none of the things that now trouble and distract me, can vex me further.' To his mother he thus unbosoms himself : March 7, 1828. ' MY DEAR MOTHER, I write this letter to you in very great sorrow of heart. I received news yesterday from the Society, which has given me a blow that it will be very long before I shall recover. It was this that H A is married to some person in England ! Oh, my mother, you cannot imagine what this has made me suffer ! I had expected that she would soon come to me, and hoped that we should be very comfortable and happy together in this place when all my hopes and happiness in this life were at once destroyed by this intelligence. I hardly know how to believe it. But it was the Secretaries of the Society themselves who wrote to tell it to Mr Jowett, and they would not have written it had they not been quite certain about it. They wrote very kindly, and assured me of their sympathy and prayers, and my friends here have also been very considerate and kind on this occasion to me. But the kindness of man can do little for sucl i wound as this. I am very unwell, my dear mother, and my spirit is quite broken up. It is a very severe trial to AGONY OF HEART. 149 me, and I should quite sink under it, if the Lord were not graciously with me, to support and strengthen me, under the heavy burden I have to bear. I hope it will be sanctified to me, as my other trials have been. I wish you were with me now, that I might talk with you ; for I am desolate indeed, and my cup of sorrow is very full. The Lord is with me, however, and puts a little peace into my heart, else I could not live. Indeed, I do not care to live at all. I have had nothing to make me love life. My life has been quite full of disappointment and sorrow, and I shall be very, very glad, when my labours are ended, and I am permitted to go to my home in heaven to that quiet rest from all these troubles, which the Lord has prepared there for His people.' His mother replied in a letter which has the genuine maternal stamp upon it. Indignation at the lady's con- duct, and sympathy with her son, struggle alike for utter- ance. She tells him that God, for some wise purpose, had not designed her for him, and, descending from this altitude, she affectionately advises him to walk a good deal, take plenty of exercise, and converse pleasantly and often with his associates. In a letter to the lady's cousin, he sends the following message : Malta, March 7, 1828. ' . . . Tell her that I have no wish to reproach her. God can bear me witness, that I have desired her happiness above all things ; and although she has wounded me so deeply, and made me desolate indeed, I shall rejoice if she prove to be happy in her new situation. But I doubt whether she will. They who can sport so with the happi- ne - of others, are seldom happy themselves. They may seem to be so for a season, but, in the end, they are not. Their happiness passes away like a dream. Believe me, 150 MALTA. it is my prayer that hers may be lasting. But mine would not in her situation. I do not think I could rest quietly upon my pillow if I had served her, or any other person, as she has served me. To murder the peace of another is the worst of all murders ; and she has murdered mine. I think, however, that I can forgive her, and I pray God to forgive her also.' We do not know all the reasons which induced the lady to withdraw her pledge to Kitto. We find in his Islington Journal, in an incidental record of his most secret thoughts, the following complaint : ' Went to Hannah before coming to the Institution. I do not really know what to think about her. That she loves me I have very great reason to believe ; yet, on this suppo- sition, and knowing that she is not naturally volatile, I have felt much at a loss to account for a degree of inatten- tion to me when at her house, which has very frequently distressed my feelings much, very much indeed. The most trivial and unimportant circumstance has the power of diverting her attention from me, even though I should be speaking of something which may seem to me peculiarly interesting; and I have seen her chatting and laughing, for a long time occasionally, without seeming to be in the least conscious that such a being as John Kitto was pre- sent. I am very foolish to mind such things, yet I cannot help minding them lovers are very foolish beings. . . . That she is faultless, 1 am not obliged, by the most ardent affection, to believe. ... If she do not experience that warmth for me which I do for her, that surely cannot be imputed to her as a, fault it is my misfortune' We should be inclined to lay no great stress on this lover's lamentation, for Kitto was very sensitive in society ; and, from his deafness and isolation, was apt to think him- self slighted. He never ascribes to her any alteration of DANGEROUS ILLNESS. 151 affection, but says, some years afterwards, that her conduct 'admitted of much extenuation, owing to the awkward predicament in which the Society had placed them both.' We have learned, on good authority, that Kitto's letters from Malta were studiously kept back from the lady ; that she was taught to believe that he had forgotten her ; that it was under the pressure of maternal authority that the match was broken off ; and that the instability of his con- nection with the Society was a topic principally insisted on. What Kitto calls the ' deep repentance' of the lady's death-bed, was the result of her coming too late to a knowledge of these painful circumstances. The result was, that a severe illness overtook him. His heart had been crushed, and his health now failed. Jn fact, he was fast sinking into that morbid state which had oppressed his early years. He felt as if he had been cut off from the world, and as if some curse had fallen upon him. He had suffered much already for sins not his own had been the inmate of a workhouse, had lost one of his senses, had been twice misjudged, as he thought, by his Committee and ' all these things were against him.' Was he never to enjoy the sunshine ? Was a sudden eclipse for ever cruelly to interpose ? Providence had been mysterious in its actings towards him, and was man, in addition, con- tinually to thwart him ? His spirit sank under such reflec- tions, and sickness preyed upon him. ' I became danger- ously ill,' he tells Mr Frere, ' and we all thought that my cares and my afflictions, my miscalculations and my errors, would now at last be terminated. It pleased God, never- theless, that I should be again restored.' 1 Such was his lassitude, even when recovering, that he had no heart for his duties ; nay, his physical strength was not equal to the task. A peculiar weakness of his ankles, which he had felt > Letter to the Right Hon. J. II. Frere. Malta, Dec. 4. 1S28. 152 MALTA. ever since his fall, and more than once described and lamented, disabled him from standing at a case ten hours a-day. He began to perceive that he was not giving satisfaction to his superiors. He had rashly bound himself to relinquish literary pursuits. But his own explanation seems to have been that literary pursuits and literary relaxation were different things that he might safely in- dulge the latter without devoting himself, heart and soul, to the former. Though, therefore, he spent his hours of leisure in reading and meditation, he did not think that he had broken his pledge. The Committee, however, judged that the way in which he passed his evenings, did not leave him sufficient time for exercise and sleep ; and that, in con- sequence, he must come to his employment under them, with a jaded mind and an exhausted frame. Mr Jowett, when about to leave Malta for England, had told him so ; and Mr Bickersteth, the Secretary, sent him a lecture on the ' Sacrifice of self-will and self-gratification.' The Com- mittee gave it as their opinion that his ' habits of mind were likely to disqualify him for that steady and persever- ing discharge of his duties, which they considered as indis- pensably requisite.' ' It is clear,' writes the unflinching Secretary, ' that the Society cannot continue in its service those who will not devote themselves to their engagements.' Kitto had been under espionage in Malta, for his previous breach with the Society had been only partially healed. He was, in fact, on trial, though he was not aware of it, and, perhaps, no one put him on his guard. He accord- ingly thought himself unjustly used, and affirmed that he had kept his pledge, that his general hour of retiring to rest was eleven o'clock, and that if he remained out of bed longer at any time, it was because painful feelings would have scared sleep away, had he lain down to woo it. He adds with some degree both of tartness and truth ' If I FINAL RUPTURE WITH THE SOCIETY. 153 had employed an equal portion of my evenings, lolling on the sofa and smoking my pipe, it seems all would have been well no blame would have been imputed to me.' It was allowed, that when in the office, he was faithful to his work as a compositor, but it was surmised that his studies out of it must unfit him, to some extent, for its manual labours. The Committee and he were both in error. He had made too large a promise, and they were too exacting and dic- tatorial as to his performance of it. An expression of sympathy would have done more to accomplish their end, than the stern declaration of authority. He might have been led to more exercise and earlier hours, but he could not be forced to them. Kindness might have moved him, but rigour only confirmed him. He was not to be con- cussed into what he deemed a species of helotry. The Committee were resolved to keep him to his place, for he had already offended, and a second misdemeanour could not be tolerated. They would not put up with insubordi- nation on the part of such a servant, and the unconscious Kitto was, therefore, warned, rebuked, and virtually dis- missed. We cannot blame the Society so deeply as some have done, though, certainly, according to their own pre- mises, if they acted toward the misguided lad in equity, they showed him but small lenience. If he was ' out of the way,' they exhibited but slender ' compassion' for the invalid at once fevered in body and bruised in heart. Kitto's residence of eighteen months in Malta was nearly lost time to him, and it was the most miserable portion of his maturer life. He had been disappointed where he had ' garnered up his heart.' He had tried to please his em- ployers, and had failed. His views in life were darkened. He had hoped to rise to a position of honour on the mis- sionary staff, but he had been sharply severed from it. And what, then, should he do ? What would his former 154 MALTA. patrons say of him now ? Would they not disown him, and reckon their confidence in him misplaced 1 In what ' line of things ' could he promise himself success ? No wonder his spirit preyed upon itself, for even Mr Groves did not, in this instance, justify him. In this forlorn and unhappy condition, and with the horizon lowering all around him, Kitto embarked for England, on the 12th of January 1829, 1 in the Maria, Captain Tregarthen. The ship was first detained for a while in port, and was also long on her voyage. When she was off the Lizard, Kitto composed a letter for Mr Harvey, which might be sent to Plymouth in some fishing-boat. His object was to assure his Plymouth friends of his safety. He was the only cabin passenger, and the voyage had improved his health. He is thankful that his detention in Malta enabled him to get a resolution of the Society, in which they promise to 'make it their business to assist me in the best way of doing well for myself. . . . God make me very thankful and grateful to Himself first.' On the voyage out, Kitto had been in raptures as he gazed upon the mountains of Granada, and he thought that the eyes of another coming after him would admire them too. But, on his return, the magnificent scenery made no impression on him, for ' his heart was too hard and cold to care two pins for all the snowy mountains in the universe.' Before Kitto set sail, he had proposed to Mr Frere to write at length a history of the island. 2 Concerning another literary composition, relating to missions and Scripture, we find among his papers the following prayer : 1 In the Missionary Register for January 1829, it is simply stated, that ' Mr Kitto's health has suffered much; and on this, and on some other accounts, he is about to retire from the Society's service.' In the printed Report for 1828-29, it is men- tioned, quite as vaguely, that ' Mr Kitto, on account of his want of health, and other circumstances, has relinquished his connection with the Society.' 1 Letter to Mr Frere, just hefore leaving Malta, in which he signifies his wish to lay his case before the king his early misfortunes and his literary desires. FAREWELL TO MALTA. 155 ' ON COMMENCING MY BOOK. 'Almighty God ! without Whom nothing is good, nothing is holy, without Whom all my best designs are vain, I pray Thee bless this undertaking to Thine own glory and the blessing of many. To me, also, may it be sanctified. Grant that I be not led astray by the poor lust of literary honour and distinction. Fill my heart with Thyself, and out of the fulness of my heart may I be enabled to speak to others in the book which now, with this promise, and by Thy grace, I purpose to write and to send forth into the world.' In the prospect of leaving Malta, he composed a fare- well in verse. Though not certainly of a high order, it was written with some care ; and it is rather quaintly topographical and minutely antiquarian in its allusions. Place after place is saluted, and its ancient history glanced at. Copious notes in prose illustrate the poem and con- clude the paper. It opens thus : ' Dear isle, farewell ! I had not though To find so soon my bark afloat So soon to have again to spell That short but painful word, farewell ! Less had I thought, with much regret, To speak that word to thee. . . Farewell, then, Malta ; yet, once more, Why linger my feet on thy shore ? To thee, a few months since, I came With heart in love, and hopes in flame, Trusting to find in thee a rest, In others blessing being blest. But now I leave thee. Soon England I tread upon thy smoother strand ; Yet, sooth to say, I little care ; For what have I to bless me there ? 156 MALTA. The hopes, which once around me flourished, Have faded all away and perished. . . So, then, can I be anxious whether I dwell in this clime or another ? No ; regions all alike we call When misery we find in all. England to greet I shall not grieve, Nor Malta do I gladly leave.' On his arrival in London, Kitto met with Mr Groves, who was about to embark on his mission to the East. His faith had not been shaken in his former apprentice, and he proposed that the cast-off printer should accompany him. Before coming to a decision, the forlorn adventurer went down to Plymouth, and there he resolved not to go out with his benefactor. He said 'No' most firmly to the very proposal which moulded his subsequent life, and raised him to his ultimate position of usefulness and honour. But a mysterious Providence brought him suddenly to another decision, and he then hastened to be gone. Meanwhile his sojourn in Plymouth was far from being comfortable. Many who had helped him in former days, refused further assistance, and taunted him with his repeated breaches with the Missionary Committee, as a proof that he was proud and intractable. Conscious of his integrity, and disdaining to volunteer such a minute and lengthened ex- planation as might be construed into an apology, or in- terpreted as a confession, he seems sometimes to have wrapped himself in dignified reserve, and thus offended another class of his friends. The case did appear suspi- cious ; and many seem to have thought that their high opinion of his talents had been unwarranted, as being the dictate of sympathy rather than of judgment, that they had erred also in their estimate of his character, that his promotion had turned his head, and that a self-willed obstinacy, or . a hasty temper, was evidently the fatal bar ESTRANGEMENT OF FRIENDS. 157 to his advancement. Now that he was again flung upon them, they resolved that he should be left to his unaided resources ; for if he were determined to throw away such auspicious opportunities as he had already enjoyed, they concluded that their money, influence, and advice, would be grievously misspent. Kitto, in a letter to Mr Harvey, as far back as 1823, mentions an unknown gentleman who had made him a present of ' Butler's Analogy,' and warned him that, when he ceased to be a novelty, then would come the great test of his abilities. Kitto mused, and acquiesced so far ' When novelty has ceased, and curiosity has evaporated, and after I have had my hopes raised by the transient attention shown me, I shall be neglected, laid upon the shelf, and forgotten.' TVas he now doomed to realize his own prophecy ? In his moments of melancholy, he looked upon himself as one ' marked out for pain, trouble, and bitterness, to whom expectation is delusive, and all hope vain.' He seemed, in short, to embody the poet's descrip- tion : ' I am all alone, and the visions that play Round life's young days have passed away, And the songs are hushed that gladness sings, And the hopes that I cherished have made them wings, And the light of my heart is dimmed and gone, And I sit in sorrow, and all alone.' He was galled excessively by this procedure on the part of so many of his friends ; and the following paragraph is, perhaps, the only instance in his whole correspondence of something like a querulous and ungrateful spirit. It was in the worst of testy moods that he wrote it, and the fact of his being so misjudged and frowned upon is his apology. It occurs in a letter to Mr Lampen : Plymouth, April 6, 1829. * . . . I lament to have perceived that those gentlemen 153 MALTA. of Plymouth, to whom I most naturally look at this junc- ture, are less willing than I had hoped and expected, to afford me the advantage of their powerful influence, in obtaining for myself a future provision. I certainly did not expect much assistance of any sort ; but whilst my expectations were not of a pecuniary nature, I thought there might be a readiness to exert so cheap a thing as influence on my behalf. It appears that I ^ ave been mistaken in this, as in many other things. I regret to have seen, that the friends to whom I am so much indebted for the kind inten- tions on which they have at former periods acted towards me, seem now to be apprehensive lest I should again be- come burdensome to them. They know best whether I have been so or not. If I have, I am sorry for it ; but it will be borne in mind, that so far as I may have been so, it was not I who threw this burden on them, but they who volun- tarily, unsought of by me, and with kindness which can never be forgotten, took it on themselves. They did so, perhaps mistakenly, perhaps on hasty impressions. I do not know. It is not for me to judge. But I had been happier, perhaps, if they had not done so ; and now I can- not again be happy, as I have been, or as I might have been.' He still wished to justify the measure of kindness which he had received, and which he frankly acknowledges in the previous sentences ; and as the Society had not only given him a quarter's salary, but voted him 30 to enable him to find some remunerative sit^tion, he resolved to set up a stationer's shop or circulating library, at Moricetown, in the vicinity of Plymouth. ' The gentlemen of Plymouth,' he says somewhat caustically, ' have studiously proved to me that I am fit for nothing for no regular employment, for none of the common businesses of life ; and, indeed, I do not myself know what regular employment there is, ENGAGEMENT WITH ME SYNGE. 159 say nothing of my deafness, the duties of which the present state of my health would allow me to fulfil. What, then, remains for me but this*' But his funds were soon exhausted. ' He drank to the dregs again the cup of misfortune and poverty.' He be- came anew what he once called himself, J. Lackpenny, and was obliged to pawn his watch and other articles, as he confesses in a brief note to Mr Harvey, where he states a plan of redeeming them that plan being to proceed to London, and draw the thirty pounds which the Society had kindly set apart for him. The bookselling project, about whose expenditure and income he made many grand calcu- lations, and all upon the side of profit, came to nothing, or rather was superseded by a note from the indefatigable Mr Groves, in which he offered him a situation in Teignmouth. John Synge, Esq., of Glanmor Castle, County Wicklow, who had been residing for some time with his family in Teignmouth, was busy in printing, at his own private press, ' some little works in Hebrew and Greek,' and wished to en- gage a practical assistant. Mr Groves, knowing the rock on which Kitto had split, wisely advised him that Mr Synge's object was ' simply printing,' italicizing the words, and asked his determination. Kitto, warned by many, and by Mr Groves himself, that his mercantile enterprise would be a failure, at once agreed to the offer, and pledged him- self to enter into Mr Synge's employment on the 1st June. Man proposes but God disposes. In the month of May Kitto went up to London, to make preparatory arrange- ments ; chiefly to see Mr Groves, and take a long farewell of his kind and considerate guardian, who was on the eve of departure for Persia. But while he was in London on this errand, the lady who had disappointed him and mar- ried another, died, and died, as he affirms, 'under mysterious circumstances, which seemed in a striking manner to con- 160 MALTA. nect her demise with her conduct towards me and my re- turn to England.' What he had learned of her bitter re- morse in her last illness, induced him to go and look on her corpse ; and the spectacle excited such a terrible train of thought in his mind, that when Mr Groves asked him a second time to accompany him to the East, he returned an immediate and affirmative reply. ' Will you come :' said Groves, ' Yes,' said Kitto question and answer aliRe re- markable for conciseness and practical aim. Anything to afford relief to his spirit, Kitto would have grasped at. He longed vehemently to be away ' From the wreck of hopes so scattered, Tempest shattered. Floating waste and desolate.' In a letter to Mr Harvey from Bagdad, Sept. 25, 1831, he explains this period, ' I returned from Malta with a desire not to leave England again. But I left Plymouth in great bitterness of feeling, which, combined with some heart-rending scenes of death and sorrow I had to pass through at Islington, rendered odious to me the only two places in England in which I had any interest.' In the short space of three days Kitto prepared himself to go, re- nouncing without scruple a good situation, but gratified at the field of prospective usefulness which was so suddenly presented to him. As we have already recorded, the workhouse boy had, nine years before, said in his Journal, ' 1 have even thought of plans to enable me to visit Asia and the ground conse- crated by the steps of the Saviour. Even now, notwith- standing my deafnesss, it would not be impracticable, if some kind gentleman, on his travels, would permit me to be his (though not expert) faithful servant. After all, I fear it is a vain scheme, never to be realised.' And yet it was realised, and that far beyond expectation, for he went TUTORIAL QUALIFICATIONS. 161 out in the immediate character of tutor to the two little boys of Mr Groves. The mission of Mr Groves was cer- tainly peculiar in its origin and complexion, and as strange was his selection of a deaf and self-taught tutor for his children. But such an appointment proved, that whatever others thought of Kitto, Mr Groves had not lost faith in him ; neither in the reality of his talent, nor the genuine- ness of his piety ; neither in his honesty of purpose, nor in his sincere desire to give the utmost satisfaction to those above him, by his conscientious discharge of duty. Nor' was he so ill qualified for the responsible situation as one might imagine. He was now in his twenty-fifth year, and his acquirements, the result of such continuous labours and vigils, were highly creditable to him. True, indeed, as he confesses, he had to learn some branches, in order to teach. But he instructed his pupils in Hebrew, Scripture, theology, history, geography, writing, arithmetic, and English com- position, and surmounted, by devices of his own, the dis- ability of his deafness. Again had he risen lately a printer, now an educator another step upward and onward to his destiny. Thus the cloud was lifting, though he knew it not ; and the next four years of his life, spent in travel and eastern residence, originated those Biblical works which have immortalized his name. ' Darkness ' was made ' light before him,' though he but dimly perceived its dawn ; and ' crooked things straight,' though, from his angle of obser- vation, he could scarcely measure the change. His journal of travel to Bagdad is very full, but much of it presents no topics of biographical interest or of characteristic detail ; and we shall, therefore, make use only of such sections as either aiford a glimpse into his inner life, or present some striking observation or amusing incident, or show how his mind was fascinated by oriental scenery and manners, and thus prepared to illustrate Holy Scripture. L CHAPTER VI. JOUKNEY TO THE EAST. MR GROVES, who had already taken Kitto to Exeter, and who now engaged him to travel, was a man of marked peculiarity. He had latterly, and before leaving Dublin University, joined in such extra-ecclesiastical meetings for sacramental fellowship and prayer, as characterize the religious party now commonly known by the name of Ply- mouth Brethren. He abandoned a lucrative profession in order to become a missionary, and made no stipulation for maintenance when he went abroad, but relied solely on the voluntary aid of Christian friends, and ' on what his Master inclined the hearts of his brethren to furnish.' His notions of self -dedication were acted out by him with rigid fidelity. He was a ' good man,' and ' full of faith.' His labours in Persia did not by any means produce the anticipated fruits ; but his subsequent toils in India were largely blessed. He was one of those men who exercise an immediate and deep personal influence upon others. Mr Miiller of Bristol, a near relative of Mr Groves, and the originator and pro- moter of that marvellous orphan-house on Ashley Down, says, in his interesting ' Narrative,' that the example of Brother Groves both excited and cheered him in his pro- longed and arduous efforts efforts which, sustained by no visible machinery, but resting solely on ' faith in God as to temporal things,' have realized 77,990, and which actu- ally received in one year no less a sum than 15,000. CHARACTER OF MR GROVES. 163 Mr Groves being himself in earnest, had strong force of character, and made his imperious will the law to all around him. So that various estimates were formed of him by those who came in contact, and those who came into collision with him ; by those who beheld his actions at a distance, and by those who were immediately under his control. Whatever he felt to be duty, no matter how he made the discovery, he would do it at all hazards, and every one in his sphere was expected to bend to his con- victions. These convictions sometimes bordered on fana- ticism. On one occasion, in Exeter, when the mind of Mrs Groves was in doubt as to a critical point of duty, she proposed that ' Kitto should search out the mind of the Lord from the New Testament, and say what he thought.' ' The result' of this oracular inquiry Mr Groves laments, ' was, as might be expected, seeing Kitto had no interest in the question ;' that is, Kitto's decision was contrary to that of Mr Groves himself, and he would not be bound by it. In various parts of his journal, he avows his belief that miracles might be still expected by the Church ; nay, he argues, ' that as miracles were designed for unbelievers, and not for the Church, we must expect to see them arise among missionaries to the heathen.' Might they not, therefore, be expected in his own position ? Now, if one gift more than another was needed and coveted by him, it was the Pentecostal gift of Tongues ; and yet we find him again and again lamenting the fatiguing labour gone through, and the precious time spent in acquiring a new and eastern language, the pursuit of which ' disordered his soul greatly.' He relates, in his second journal, published in 1832, that when Mr Newman 1 was sick, and 'at the worst, and 1 Professor Newman, now of University College, London, who, in a fit of devoted- ness, joined Mr Groves at Bagdad, tut whose early creed, springing to a large ex- 1