THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 Lillie & Doctor Henry H. 
 Lissner
 
 Gadski
 
 The Song of the 
 EVENING STARS 
 
 BY 
 
 ANNA MATHEWSON 
 
 WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY 
 
 ENRICO CARUSO 
 
 BOSTON 
 
 RICHARD G. BADGER 
 
 THE GORHAM PRESS
 
 Copyright, 1911, by Richard G. Badger 
 
 All Rights Reserved 
 
 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 
 
 The Caricatures by ENRICO CARUSO are re- 
 produced through the courtesy of Marziale 
 Sisca, publisher of LA FOLLIA DI NEW 
 YORK. 
 
 Permission is granted the author to reprint the fol- 
 lowing verse: 
 
 Mysteries of the Music-Dramas, from THE CEN- 
 TURY MAGAZINE. 
 
 Grand Opera of the Future, from LIFE. 
 
 Irene's Infatuation, from MUNSEY'S MAGA- 
 ZINE. 
 
 What She Missed, from LIPPINCOTTS MAG- 
 AZINE. 
 
 In and Out, from THE THEATRE MAGA- 
 ZINE. 
 
 Points of View, from PUCK. 
 
 THE GORHAM PRESS, BOSTON, U. S. A.
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Points of View 1 1 
 
 Mysteries of the Music-Dramas 1 6 
 
 The Snow-man of the Sierras 17 
 
 Seclusion 1 8 
 
 Who? 21 
 
 Opinions, Ready-to-Air 22 
 
 Not in Harmony 23 
 
 Grand Opera of the Future 21 
 
 "None Like Her None!" 26 
 
 A Two-Gifted Artist 29 
 
 A Confusion of Tongues 30 
 
 How to Tell Puccini's Music 31 
 
 A False Step 32 
 
 A Juvenile Critic 33 
 
 Closely Connected 34 
 
 Pelleas et Melisande 35 
 
 Slightly Mixed 36 
 
 A Parisian Garden 37 
 
 Louise and II Trovatore 38 
 
 Why We Go 42 
 
 A Bad Beginning 43 
 
 5 
 
 830351
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 A Good Ending 45 
 
 Extreme Measures 46 
 
 The Coachman and Die Walkure 49 
 
 What She Missed 51 
 
 In and Out 52 
 
 Goosery 53 
 
 Oh Yes! 54 
 
 The Unaspirating Usher 57 
 
 Arturo Toscanini 58 
 
 Cleofonte Campanini 59 
 
 Lime-light Limericks 
 
 A Word of Warning 62 
 
 Bella Alten 63 
 
 Alessandro Bonci 64 
 
 Enrico Caruso 67 
 
 Lina Cavalieri 68 
 
 Emmy Destinn 69 
 
 Dufranne, Dalmores, Didur 70 
 
 Mary Garden 73 
 
 Louise Homer 74 
 
 Riccardo Martin 75 
 
 Nellie Melba 76 
 
 Lillian Nordica 79 
 
 6
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Maurice Renaud 80 
 
 Sammarco, Amato, Scotti 83 
 
 Luisa Tetrazzini 84 
 
 Reminiscent Rhymes 
 
 Oscar Hammerstein 89 
 
 The Hat That Never Comes Off 90 
 
 To Marcella Sembrich 93 
 
 Exit Emma Eames 94 
 
 As to Salome 95 
 
 The Conduct of a Conductor 96 
 
 Gatti-Casazza and Dippel 99 
 
 Frenzied Figures 100 
 
 Irene's Infatuation 101 
 
 Painful Possibilities 102 
 
 Apropos of Two Sopranos 105 
 
 Geraldine Farrar 106 
 
 Olive Fremstad 107 
 
 A Postscript to You 108
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Gadski Frontispiece 
 
 Tetrazzini 19 
 
 Caruso 27 
 
 Bond 39 
 
 Farrar 47 
 
 Toscanini 55 
 
 Campanini 65 
 
 Didur 71 
 
 Martin 77 
 
 Scotti 81 
 
 Sammarco 85 
 
 Oscar Hammerstein 91 
 
 Gatti-Casazza 97 
 
 Slezak 103
 
 POINTS OF VIEW 
 
 The programme was Haensel und Gretel 
 
 With / Pagliacci to end ; 
 The singers were all in fine fettle, 
 
 And everything seemed to transcend ; 
 But the comments of people attending 
 
 Were varied as varied could be, 
 Were disdainful, uncertain, commending 
 
 But, stay! let us quote two or three: 
 
 II
 
 Miss Klurk of Brooklyn, in the Family Circle 
 
 Why, Mame, you here? Oh, ain't it great? 
 We got in half an hour late, 
 
 The subway slipped a trolley. 
 Say, ain't Caruso just immense? 
 My waist looks just like thirty cents; 
 
 It does don't try to jolly! 
 
 Do see the di'monds on her head 
 That second box the girl in red; 
 
 She isn't very pretty. 
 Gee whizz! those dresses are a sight; 
 Why, I could look there goes the light ! 
 
 Aw, isn't that a pity? 
 
 12
 
 Mr. Reinstone of Chicago, in the Dress Circle 
 
 Well, Ikey; dere is dis to say: 
 One wass a silly, baby play, 
 
 And very liddle funny; 
 De odder, dough, wass radder neat; 
 And den, two operas, all complete, 
 
 Is someding for de money.
 
 Mrs. John X. Miner of Montana, in the Orchestra 
 Stalls 
 
 Yes, John ; I wish these songs was sung 
 In somethin' 'sides a forrin' tongue; 
 
 We'd understand 'em better. 
 My sakes ! that cunnin' Gretel child 
 A-workin' nights it makes me riled ! 
 
 They hadn't oughter let 'er. 
 
 As soon's the second part is through, 
 I tell you, Pa, what we can do: 
 
 (I love to watch the waiters, 
 An' rich folks gotter set the pace!) 
 Let's try that stylish Martang place 
 
 For steak an' stewed petaters.
 
 Mrs. Banquer, in her Parterre Box 
 
 I drove my coach to-day 'twas fine! 
 What's that? Afraid I must decline, 
 
 The Duchess comes to dinner. 
 There's Amy in the Golders' box; 
 Do see her brand-new auburn locks! 
 
 Why, here comes Bob you sinner! 
 
 My sister's wedding? That's next week; 
 We hardly have a chance to speak 
 
 ( My husband's snore please wake him ! ) 
 The Count is here, of course, you know; 
 His relatives came too, and oh, 
 
 I'm glad I didn't take him! 
 
 Well, we must rush away; my aunts 
 Expect us at their farewell dance. 
 Why, thanks; just there my coat is. 
 
 Our carriage number? Yes, that's right. 
 
 ******** 
 
 What opera did we have to-night? 
 I didn't think to notice.
 
 MYSTERIES OF THE MUSIC-DRAMAS 
 
 The Wagner Dramas are replete 
 With things one can't explain 
 Except as "motives" of deceit 
 (A thought that causes pain) : 
 
 Perchance the music teems with mystery 
 To fit with their un-natural history. 
 
 A swan, on nothingness afloat, 
 
 Transforms into a boy; 
 A dove propels a man and boat 
 With perfect ease and joy; 
 
 The ravens fly with bat-like quiver: 
 And dwarfs can breathe beneath a river. 
 
 A birdling with a human voice 
 
 Gives very straight advice, 
 But never flies straight on by choice 
 When it can zigzag thrice. 
 
 How queer that rainbow, steeply arching, 
 Whereon stout vocalists go marching! 
 
 But worse, when wingless horses fly; 
 
 Or, puffing real hot air, 
 A dragon winks his emerald eye, 
 With megaphonic blare 
 
 O Wagner, wondrous music-maker, 
 Thou wert the primal nature-faker! 
 
 16
 
 THE SNOW-MAN OF THE SIERRAS 
 
 There were fire and warmth in the Bright- Yellow 
 West, 
 
 And the score had a vigor titanic; 
 The principals sang with a passionate zest, 
 
 And the miners were hotly volcanic : 
 But the Sheriff, in temper and temperature, 
 
 Was an iceberg from A unto izzard 
 Whose air was so chilly it helped to procure 
 
 The terrific and audible blizzard. 
 
 When he entered the cabin that turbulent night, 
 
 Why, the "cold deck" of cards grew still colder! 
 The blanket-clad Girl was congealing with fright, 
 
 So she give him a bitter cold shoulder. 
 That was, maybe, why snow on his shoulder and 
 hat 
 
 (Which the storm had been angrily pelting), 
 When near a hot lamp for a long time he sat, 
 
 Failed to show any symptoms of melting. 
 
 Though the "boys" shivered long 'neath his bleak 
 glassy eye 
 
 (Glace eye, when it turned on the hero), 
 The frigid revenge which they took by and by 
 
 Was to freeze him out, far below zero: 
 For the lynching fell through that he wished to 
 attend 
 
 He was frostily anxious to hold one 
 But he never thawed out from beginning to end, 
 
 And the day he got left was a cold one!
 
 SECLUSION 
 
 If ever a man has need to hide, 
 
 There is one safe place to do it 
 Just one sure spot in a world so wide, 
 
 If the fugitive only knew it. 
 
 The person who dwells in a hermit's den 
 Is observed by the summer boarders; 
 
 The story gets into the papers then 
 And his anchorite plan disorders. 
 
 The sinner who sails to a tropic clime, 
 
 With a hoard of embezzled money, 
 Soon learns he can spend neither cash nor time 
 
 In ways that are one bit funny. 
 
 He might have remained in gay New York 
 
 Undisturbed by apprehension, 
 To laugh and to sing and to shout and to talk, 
 
 Yet never attract attention: 
 
 The only secluded place to stay 
 
 Exhibits itself before us, 
 But nobody ever looks that way 
 
 The masculine opera chorus! 
 
 18
 
 Tetrazzini
 
 WHO? 
 
 Who sit or stand 'way up above, 
 Because "gran' o-pe-ra" they love 
 (Yet show strange evidence thereof) ? 
 
 Perhaps you guess. 
 Who, from the instant they are in, 
 Do agitate their lips and chin, 
 Resulting in a verbal din? 
 
 You've heard them yes? 
 
 Who laugh while overtures play low, 
 And cause the opening chorus woe 
 By humming melodies they know? 
 
 (Indeed, they do so!) 
 Who, when He enters, clap their fill ; 
 Then for a brief, brief time keep still; 
 But shout, before he ends, a shrill 
 
 Bravo, Cah-ROO-so? 
 
 Who squirm with ecstasy when he 
 
 Attacks and hits a big high D, 
 
 And then let loose their howls of glee 
 
 Forti f ortissimi ? 
 
 Who break the opera-story's thread 
 With wild applause at moments dread, 
 And oft, indeed, recall the dead? 
 
 Italianissimi ! 
 
 21
 
 OPINIONS, READY-TO-AIR 
 
 She goes to grand opera one night every week, 
 So, certainly, she is entitled to speak 
 
 (And she does!) with much force on that topic; 
 She'll analyze voices and criticize themes, 
 Just what and just why she dislikes or esteems, 
 
 Down to points that are quite microscopic. 
 
 She knows when an opera is due to appear 
 (The cast in her eye and the music by ear, 
 
 Whether classic or lightly romantic) ; 
 She mentions all artists that ever have sung 
 Impossible names smoothly roll from her tongue 
 
 And their salaries, simply gigantic. 
 
 But meeting her suddenly, early to-day, 
 
 As down to her breakfast she wended her way 
 
 By the light of electrical tapers, 
 I cried, "Did you like the new opera last night 
 And all the new singers?" She stammered in fright, 
 
 "Don't know yet I've not read the papers!" 
 
 22
 
 NOT IN HARMONY 
 
 A prima donna, young and fair, 
 
 Inspired a poet's lay; 
 And little Cupid hurried there, 
 Prepared to make a stay: 
 
 He thought the singer would rejoice 
 To read, "Thou hast a siren's voice." 
 
 The prima donna was unlearned 
 
 In legendary lore; 
 
 She read that line, the rest she spurned 
 And into fragments tore; 
 
 She only knew that fiery star 
 The siren of a motor-car!
 
 GRAND OPERA OF THE FUTURE 
 
 In the good old days of opera, we are told, the 
 singers could 
 
 Gain applause by merely singing, while they posed 
 like blocks of wood; 
 
 Not for motion or emotion did their raptured hear- 
 ers care, 
 
 When the notes of lucent beauty floated on the lis- 
 tening air. 
 
 Songsters of our generation who desire to attract 
 May be musical and comely, but, above all else, 
 
 must act. 
 
 Realism is demanded, situations all aflame 
 Operatic melodrama soon may be its proper name. 
 
 Once sopranos, faint or dying, gently sank on 
 
 cushioned chairs, 
 Now they stagger, plunge and gyrate headlong 
 
 down a flight of stairs. 
 Tosca's jump is fraught with peril (substitutes no 
 
 more allowed) ; 
 Siegfried's full-length, backward tumble never fails 
 
 to charm the crowd; 
 Melisande has a headache after Golaud pulls her 
 
 hair; 
 And Louise's maddened father nails her with that 
 
 kitchen-chair ; 
 All of those who fight in duels suffer now from 
 
 stabs and shocks; 
 And Brunnhilde's bucking broncho often lands her 
 
 in a box!
 
 So, in time, our active artists from the footlights 
 may be missed, 
 
 With their names enrolled forever on the casualty 
 list. 
 
 Then the management will furnish acrobats and 
 circus queens, 
 
 While the prompter runs the singing on some mus- 
 ical machines!
 
 "NONE LIKE HER NONE!" 
 
 Old Tymes remarked to Nouveau Riche: 
 
 "The singers now are few 
 Who waken thrills by lovely trills, 
 The way they used to do; 
 
 The art of song is dying fast; 
 The great bel canto days are past." 
 
 Then Nouveau Riche replied in haste, 
 
 For wise he'd fain appear: 
 "Yes, yes, that's so; not one, you know, 
 Like those we used to hear. 
 
 She certainly deserves your praise 
 None like Belle Canto, nowadays!" 
 
 26
 
 Caruso
 
 A TWO-GIFTED ARTIST 
 
 Many folks are surprised at the way 
 That Caruso can sketch; but they say 
 
 The directors foresaw 
 
 Just how well he could draw 
 He can draw a full house any day! 
 
 29
 
 A CONFUSION OF TONGUES 
 
 With Tannhaiiser almost as German as beer, 
 
 It seemed, to the Teutonic herds 
 As they flocked in to hear it, this cry sounded queer 
 "Correct libretto of th' op'ra here, 
 
 English 'n' Eyetalian words!"
 
 HOW TO TELL PUCCINI'S MUSIC 
 
 With "Butterfly" as our example, 
 
 Like this the formula would be: 
 Take first, Italian style, in ample 
 
 And flowing measures, sweet and free; 
 Use many fragmentary phrases 
 
 But never old-time, long-drawn airs; 
 Now add a few Wagnerian blazes, 
 
 To elevate all listening hairs; 
 Spice well in Japanesy manner; 
 
 And mix in, often as you can, 
 
 A bit of bright Star-Spangled Banner 
 
 ******** 
 
 (If not Puccini, it's Cohan!)
 
 A FALSE STEP 
 
 Mrs. Malaprop, chatting of opera to us, 
 Made The Pipe of Desire her theme; 
 
 But, as usual, she twisted the name of it thus: 
 "That American one, The Pipe Dream!" 
 
 Then she raved o'er the dance of that lithe Rus- 
 sian girl, 
 
 And we warmly agreed with her too, 
 Till at last she exclaimed (did she mean a pas 
 
 seulf) : 
 "How I liked her faux pas; didn't you?"
 
 A JUVENILE CRITIC 
 
 Oh, yes! I've been to op'ra twice. 
 To-night I think is pretty nice; 
 
 I came with darling Mother. 
 But if they're all of 'em like these, 
 I don't believe I'll ever tease 
 
 To come and see another. 
 
 I went to Mignon first; you know 
 She's just a girl that's in a show, 
 
 And don't you think it's funny? 
 When she got mad and wouldn't dance, 
 They never offered us a chance 
 
 Of getting back our money! 
 
 This Gretel is as bad as bad ; 
 She made her mother feel so sad! 
 
 But she went round a-skipping; 
 She gobbled berries, too and got 
 Some lovely angels, 'stead of what 
 
 She should have had a whipping!
 
 CLOSELY CONNECTED 
 
 The gentleman posed as a musical guide, 
 
 So he gave his opinions with force: 
 When asked "Who wrote Tosca?" he promptly re- 
 plied, 
 
 "It's by Toscanini, of course!" 
 
 34
 
 PELLEAS ET MELISANDE 
 
 Stranger rhythm, weirder notes 
 Never came from singers' throats: 
 In the orchestra there rise 
 Harmonies in queer disguise: 
 Curious chords in dismal daze 
 Ramble through a magic maze: 
 Semblance of a fleeting tune 
 Lapses in a tonal swoon: 
 Bland, majestic, rippling, mild, 
 
 Eerie, mystic, morbid, wild 
 
 * * " * * * * 
 
 What to call it? Harken well, 
 While the notes erratic wander: 
 
 It is music all pell-mell 
 Pell-eas et Mel-isande ! 
 
 35
 
 SLIGHTLY MIXED 
 
 Miss Azure-Bloode remarked, "This year 
 
 The opera really is sublime; 
 We were immensely pleased to hear 
 
 Slezak, last night, a second time." 
 
 Said Mrs. Knewly-Ritch, "Oh dear, 
 
 How much you've missed in seasons past! 
 
 Why, I've heard Slezak every year; 
 It always has a splendid cast!"
 
 A PARISIAN GARDEN 
 
 Mary, Mary, 
 Lithe and airy! 
 
 How does the Garden grow? 
 With notes like bells, 
 And style that tells, 
 
 And youthfulness aglow. 
 
 37
 
 LOUISE AND IL TROVATORE 
 
 or, 
 Romance Versus Realism 
 
 Louise met Manrico in stageland one day, 
 
 And, waiting for no presentation, 
 She cried, "Cher Monsieur, you are very passe! 
 What use in the world is a troubadour, pray? 
 
 A quite out of date occupation! 
 
 "Mes yeux! you're a sight in your doublet and 
 hose, 
 
 That plume on your chapeau looks tipsy. 
 A musical tramp is an imbecile pose ; 
 You might have a home and live well, if you chose. 
 
 (A has your demented old gypsy!) 
 
 "You scrimmage with swords your idea of ro- 
 mance 
 
 A foolish and risky proceeding! 
 Your lady-love, meanwhile, despairingly chants 
 Or, sighing and sobbing, falls into a trance 
 
 Mon Dieu, what a life you are leading!" 
 
 Manrico replied to the lively Louise: 
 
 "Avaunt, thou impertinent huzzy! 
 Arrayed in a shirt-waist, a hat like a cheese, 
 A stiff, ugly collar and, worse than all these, 
 
 A pompadour, ratted and fuzzy!
 
 Bond
 
 "I tell thee no audience ever could care 
 
 For seeing old women make gruel, 
 For polishing kettles or mending a tear, 
 Or righting with swords? Nay; an old kitchen- 
 chair! 
 
 Such murder of Art is too cruel. 
 
 "And nobody died in thy weak little play," 
 
 His tone grew so tragic it thrilled her. 
 "To poison, starvation and axe we were prey, 
 Completing the tale. 'Tis, methinks, the best 
 
 way " 
 
 ##**####* 
 
 And so he impressively killed her!
 
 WHY WE GO 
 
 Now, why do we go to the opera? 
 
 Because 
 
 We are asked to their box by the dear Dedly-Baws ; 
 
 Or because 
 
 To go is obeying society's laws; 
 
 Or because 
 
 It is needful to see if they wear spangled gauze; 
 
 Or because 
 
 The gifted soprano a crowd always draws ; 
 
 Or because 
 
 'Tis exciting to join in the joyful applause; 
 
 Or because 
 
 As critics, we're hoping to find a few flaws; 
 
 Or because Let us pause, 
 
 And explain it by saying we go "just because." 
 
 (Yes; some go because they love opera.) 
 
 42
 
 A BAD BEGINNING 
 
 The early bird always gets something unpleasant 
 (His breakfast, we're told, is quite likely to 
 
 squirm ) , 
 And early attendants on opera at present 
 
 The truth of the opening statement confirm. 
 You've studied the program and read the libretto; 
 The overture starts like a soft summer breeze ; 
 Then, pierced by a voice like the sharpest stiletto, 
 You rise in response to a 
 
 "Let us pass, please." 
 Patrons to left of you, matrons to right of you 
 
 (Passage in front and your seat on an aisle) 
 Mussing your clothes and your hair, make a fright 
 
 of you, 
 Pushing their way with a scowl or a smile. 
 
 The overture's finished, for up goes the curtain 
 
 (As seen o'er the heads of the incoming throng) ; 
 You snatch a brief glimpse of the stage, but it's 
 
 certain 
 
 That little you'll hear of the opening song. 
 "Celeste Aida " Oh, can't they keep quiet? 
 
 (The tenor who sings is the greatest of great.) 
 But the racket goes on like a Donnybrook riot 
 Why, why should you suffer because they come 
 
 late? 
 "Celeste Ah-ee " 
 
 "You have taken my seat, madam." 
 
 43
 
 "Haven't!" 
 
 "You have!" 
 
 "Put him out, usher, please!" 
 "Third to the left, sir." 
 
 "You're right on my feet, madam." 
 "There goes my hat!" 
 
 "Hush, hush, hush!" 
 
 "Did you sneeze?" 
 
 Early birds certainly do get the worst of it: 
 Still, as result of their agonized words, 
 
 Changes may come so they'll yet hear the first of it 
 Then there'll be warbling from these surly birds ! 
 
 44
 
 A GOOD ENDING 
 
 The opera was concluding with a weird poetic 
 
 thrill, 
 The audience intent, entranced sat absolutely 
 
 still ; 
 No sound to break illusion, save the falling of a 
 
 tear. 
 "Is this New York?" I marvelled, "And, if so, 
 
 what is the year?" 
 For memory flashed a search-light, and with horror 
 
 I could see 
 A panoramic vision of the way it used to be: 
 
 Twenty minutes before the end, 
 Suburb-dwellers their way would wend ; 
 Jerseyites were the first to stamp 
 Over our toes with ruthless tramp; 
 Fifteen minutes Long Islanders went, 
 Falling down steps in their mad descent; 
 Ten minutes Harlemites having mishaps, 
 Losing their overshoes, purses and wraps; 
 Five Brooklyn Bridgers were off with a rush, 
 While a minority feebly said, "Hush!" 
 Two all the boxes were empty by now, 
 So, when the singers came forward to bow, 
 Out of the thousands now scattered abroad 
 Thirty-three people had stayed to applaud. 
 
 "That mobbish time is past," I thought. "How 
 blissful this does seem! 
 
 We're civilized " But here I woke from that too- 
 perfect dream. 
 
 45
 
 EXTREME MEASURES 
 
 Sec; with musical emotion brimming o'er 
 
 The tenor's eyes; 
 List; with lyrical devotion do they soar 
 
 The tenor's sighs; 
 All entranced we hear them float 
 From a highly valued throat; 
 And we also sometimes note 
 
 The tenor's size. 
 
 Towering toward the scenic heaven, seven feet 
 four 
 
 Slezak the Great; 
 While reversed to four feet seven little more 
 
 Is Bond's state. 
 Art is measured not by feet, 
 But if these extremes should meet 
 On the stage why, here's a treat 
 
 For which we wait!
 
 Farrar
 
 THE COACHMAN AND DIE WALKURE 
 
 Say, Bill ; I been to see the play 
 They call "Gran' Op'ra Matinee;" 
 
 'Tis dagoes, mostly run it. 
 We drive the Madam there each week, 
 An' I been figurin' to sneak 
 
 Inside; an' so I done it. 
 
 "Here, Tom ;" says I, "drive round the block 
 Whilst I go in." He didn't knock, 
 
 But took the lines all aisy. 
 It cost a dollar, jus' to stand ; 
 An' though there was a fine big band, 
 
 The chunes they played was crazy. 
 
 Die Somethin' was the name; an' sure 
 So dead a show I'd not endure, 
 
 An' hope to keep on livin': 
 The secon' act had jus' begun 
 Now, if the rest was like that one, 
 
 Them dagoes need forgivin'! 
 
 First was a man wid jus' one eye 
 (His looks would make a filly shy!) 
 
 Yes; 'tis the trut' I'm tellin'. 
 A girl was standin' overhead ; 
 "Ho, ho, hi, ho," was all she said 
 
 Ye never heard such yellin' ! 
 
 49
 
 I couldn't laugh at suchlike stuff; 
 But when I'd had about enough, 
 
 Another girl's arrivin': 
 Well, man; that show was purty cheap 
 She drove a team of faked-up sheep 
 
 An' had no style in drivin'! 
 
 The usher says, "Ye'd better bide ; 
 On flyin' horses soon they'll ride." 
 
 I wonder did he mean it? 
 Belike 'tis some new foreign way; 
 I'm sorry, now, I didn't stay, 
 Indeed, I oughter seen it. 
 
 Though 'taint believable, of course, 
 To harness wings upon a horse, 
 
 It's bothered me all mornin'. 
 If Madam gets that in her mind 
 An airyplane-an'-horse combined, 
 
 Ye'll hear me givin' warnin !
 
 WHAT SHE MISSED 
 
 The lady was superbly gowned, 
 
 Her hat was in accord; 
 
 Through gold lorgnette she smiled or frowned 
 Her a's were very broad; 
 
 She wore a plutocratic name, 
 In short, a most imposing dame. 
 
 Of Parsifal I chanced to talk; 
 
 She waved my words aside, 
 "I cahn't endure it in New Yawk;, 
 I greatly miss," she cried, 
 
 "The atmosphere, that all allow 
 It has in Ober-Ammergau !"
 
 IN AND OUT 
 
 He took her to the opera-house to hear a matinee; 
 And wishing to impress her (for a wealthy maid 
 
 is she), 
 He got the most expensive seats, he bought a big 
 
 bouquet, 
 
 Then (he is impecunious), but fifty cents had he. 
 However, luckily for him, she lived up Harlem 
 
 way, 
 So, therefore, they would take the Sub. and have 
 
 no cab to pay. 
 
 She gave him, when they started out, a violet- 
 scented note, 
 
 And as they hurried to the train he mailed it in 
 a box. 
 
 He talked with grandeur while they rode; he told 
 
 an anecdote, 
 
 Quite casually, about his large investments in 
 good stocks; 
 
 He mentioned family estates, without a trace of 
 guile, 
 
 The charming girl attending with a most receptive 
 smile. 
 
 They entered when orchestral airs had just com- 
 menced to float, 
 But joy is brief! that festive youth received some 
 
 sudden shocks; 
 He could not gain admittance with a violet-scented 
 
 note 
 
 His envelope of tickets? In the Harlem letter- 
 box! 
 No sequel hangs upon these lines, they end as they 
 
 begin: 
 
 He took her to the opera-house he did not take 
 her in! 
 
 52
 
 This damsel fashioned like a lithesome eel, 
 
 With humpy puffs upon her bandaged head, 
 And skirts bound tightly just above her heel 
 
 To mark the mincing tread 
 Displayed between the acts when, with a smile, 
 She waggles up and down the lengthy aisle 
 
 For Konigskinder does she care a crumb? 
 
 Nay, nay; for conversation she has come. 
 
 Although the winsome Goose-girl tends her pets, 
 Although the lovely notes arise and sink, 
 
 This giggling, gaggling damsel's voice upsets 
 The art of Humperdinck ; 
 
 Until we wish, in helpless, seething rage, 
 
 That geese were not allowed, save on the stage, 
 Or, since her manners are so much amiss, 
 The well-trained flock might look her way and 
 hiss ! 
 
 53
 
 OH YES! 
 
 "Oh no! we never mention him, 
 His name is never heard 
 
 Old Song 
 
 The operatic legion 
 
 Has a singer from Algiers, 
 And the listeners are delighted 
 
 Every time that he appears; 
 But, attempting to commend him, 
 
 They discover with dismay 
 That he has a name unusual, 
 
 Which they dare not try to say 
 They feel embarrassed, even silly, 
 When tackling "D-i-n-h Gilly." 
 
 We resolved to praise his singing, 
 
 His enunciation fine, 
 And his profile, a la Dante, 
 
 Or his feet of shapely line; 
 So we sought for information 
 
 From a Personage-Who-Knows, 
 On whose French-Algerian knowledge 
 
 We could tranquilly repose 
 We grasped the syllables so eely, 
 And now serenely say "Daahn Zheely!" 
 
 54
 
 Toscanini
 
 THE UNASPIRATING USHER 
 
 The usher is a mystic combination: 
 
 At times, despotic as a Czar of Russia, 
 On ladies' hats he shows determination 
 
 To (verbally) sit down and be a crusher; 
 But never checks disturbing conversation 
 
 Among the type described as "giddy gusher;" 
 'Tis then we wish he felt an aspiration 
 
 To add an aspirate, and be a husher! 
 
 57
 
 ARTURO TOSCANINI 
 
 He leads, without a sign of score, 
 
 The Gotterdammerung; 
 And brings out beauties heretofore 
 Unknown, unheard, unsung, 
 
 From blitheful songs to lyric sermons 
 
 He beats the Dutch that is, the Germans!
 
 CLEOFONTE CAMPANINI 
 
 Campanini what is he? 
 
 Surely not a mortal man; 
 Busy bees could blush to see 
 How he works : what is his plan ? 
 Answer: Well, we have a notion 
 That he is Perpetual Motion. 
 
 59
 
 LIME-LIGHT LIMERICKS
 
 A WORD OF WARNING 
 
 "These Limericks" (perchance you'll say, 
 
 Dear reader, in your haste) 
 "Should not have been arranged this way, 
 In order so misplaced!" 
 
 But pause, before you grow frenetic, 
 And note, the plan is alphabetic. 
 
 62
 
 BELLA 
 ALTEN 
 
 Of ALTEN, so childlike and gay, 
 "Alten Bella" we never shall say; 
 For she'll always be young, 
 From her toes to her tongue, 
 In a mettlesome Gretelsome way!
 
 ALESSANDRO 
 BONCI 
 
 Bonny BONCI (a vocal first-rater 
 Who was recognized sooner than later) 
 Comes short, in one sense, 
 But his voice is "immense," 
 For its beauty grows greater and greater. 
 
 His style, in a way, is colossal; 
 His tones are as true as a throstle, 
 
 Which, though not a large bird, 
 
 Always makes itself heard; 
 In short, he's bel canto's apostle. 
 
 64
 
 Campanini
 
 ENRICO 
 CARUSO 
 
 Who sails the high C's like CARUSO? 
 That musical Robinson Crusoe, 
 
 Remote and alone 
 
 In a class of his own, 
 Since no other tenor can do so. 
 
 To proverbs we oft are beholden ; 
 "Silver speech" was a favorite olden, 
 
 But no longer true so 
 
 Concerning CARUSO, 
 Whose voice, not his silence, is golden.
 
 LINA 
 CAVALIERI 
 
 If LINA should ever be leaner, 
 
 Our eyesight would have to grow keener ; 
 
 She is beautiful yes; 
 
 But if "beautifully less," 
 We might not be sure we had seen her. 
 
 68
 
 EMMY 
 DESTINN 
 
 Her singing wins deep admiration; 
 Her acting, an equal ovation. 
 
 DESTINN come, year by year, 
 
 Till this land shall appear 
 To be, some day, your sole Destin-nation !
 
 HECTOR CHARLES 
 DUFRANNE DALMORES 
 
 DUFRANNE rises far from the level; 
 And in DALMORES' art all must revel; 
 
 While of DIDUR they say 
 
 (In a flattering way), 
 As Mephisto he acts like the devil! 
 
 70
 
 Didur
 
 MARY 
 GARDEN 
 
 The GARDEN in beauty upspringing, 
 
 Whose name through the world now is ringing, 
 
 Shows a consummate art 
 
 In creating a part; 
 But is fonder of speaking than singing. 
 
 73
 
 LOUISE 
 HOMER 
 
 A Homer was loved by the Greeks 
 (Same 'Omer of whom Kipling speaks) ; 
 
 With Persians a claim 
 
 Has Omar to fame; 
 And for Homer the eagle now shrieks. 
 
 This HOMER, sweet HOMER of ours 
 Mid contraltos a great "Singer" towers; 
 
 For she looms up apart 
 
 In her musical art 
 And highly dramatical powers. 
 
 74
 
 RICCARDO 
 MARTIN 
 
 MARTIN'S exquisite voice is exact; 
 His appearance is apt to attract; 
 
 And, of course, growing older, 
 
 His genius won't smolder 
 But burst into blaze, so he'll act. 
 
 This son of "Kaintuck" has been plucky 
 (Which is very much better than lucky) ; 
 
 We suppose he's from Breathitt 
 
 Because, sure as death, it 
 Sounds right for a voice from Kentucky! 
 
 75
 
 NELLIE 
 MELBA 
 
 The title that seems to belong 
 To MELBA is Empress of Song: 
 Her voice high or low, 
 Or where else it may go, 
 Has never been heard to go wrong.
 
 Martin
 
 LILLIAN 
 NORDICA 
 
 When NORDICA goes from the stage 
 Her adorers their grief may assuage, 
 
 For the plan is adroit 
 
 In her Yankee Baireuth 
 She can still tread the boards for an age. 
 
 79
 
 MAURICE 
 RENAUD 
 
 RENAUD is an artist who'll paint 
 Any portrait romantic or quaint; 
 If he tried to do so 
 He could be the whole show, 
 With a range up from sinner to saint. 
 
 80
 
 Scotti
 
 MARIO PASQUALE ANTONIO 
 
 SAMMARCO AMATO SCOTTI 
 
 SAMMARCp, AMATO and SCOTTI: 
 Enough to drive any one dotty 
 
 Three baritone graces, 
 
 All fit for first places! 
 (Let's dodge a description so knotty.)
 
 LUISA 
 TETRAZZINI 
 
 TETRAZZINI the world has astounded, 
 Wherever her high notes have sounded: 
 
 Her feet and her smile 
 
 All her hearers beguile, 
 Even while they confess she's well rounded!
 
 Sammarco
 
 REMINISCENT RHYMES
 
 Unless you love the "good old times'' 
 
 (From two to ten years back they're dated), 
 Skip past these Reminiscent Rhymes, 
 Which, more or less, are antiquated; 
 Not prizable antiques but yet 
 They claim a place, "lest we forget." 
 
 88
 
 OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN 
 
 O-nly natural, perhaps, for him to like sensations, 
 H-is initials, even, take the form of exclamations 
 OH! 
 
 HO!!
 
 THE HAT THAT NEVER COMES OFF 
 
 Upon the brow of Hammerstein 
 
 (Where laurels, too, are twining) 
 By day, by night, a hat doth shine, 
 Whose wearer can no time assign 
 To slumbering or dining. 
 
 No wonder that it brightly beams: 
 
 Beneath it he is mapping 
 A swirl of brilliant, novel schemes, 
 And thoughts like incandescent gleams 
 
 Electrical are snapping. 
 
 Since man and hat achieve their aim 
 
 Of never being sat on, 
 Why not perpetuate their fame 
 And, more appropriately, name 
 
 That opera-house Man-hat-on ? 
 
 90
 
 Oscar Hammerstein
 
 TO MARCELLA SEMBRICH 
 
 Blithe sovereign: reigning alone 
 In a kingdom completely your own, 
 
 When you took off the crown 
 
 And the scepter laid down 
 What a queen of all hearts left the throne! 
 
 93
 
 EXIT EMMA EAMES 
 
 Among the most lustrous of names 
 Shone that of our elegant Eames; 
 
 Though some said, "How droll! 
 
 She enacts every role 
 With the pomp of Colonial Dames." 
 
 94
 
 AS TO SALOME 
 
 While controversial breezes blow 
 
 From every point of compass, 
 And streams of fresh opinion grow 
 To seas of rage and rumpus 
 
 Thus advertised, her worth enhancing, 
 Salome, everywhere, is dancing. 
 
 But leaving out each pro and con 
 
 (Con-tempt or pro-testations) , 
 A fact remains that bears upon 
 The gayety of nations, 
 
 The dictionary's name division 
 Presents Salome's definition. 
 
 One would suppose the name might mean 
 
 A something weird (or Wilde), 
 Adapted to an Eastern scene 
 The opposite of mild; 
 
 But, though of frenzy and decease full. 
 Salome is defined as "peaceful"! 
 
 95
 
 THE CONDUCT OF A CONDUCTOR 
 
 The Hertz that once in opera's halls 
 
 An orchestra misled 
 Whose violins raised caterwauls 
 
 And horns could raise the dead 
 Allowed no singer of those days 
 
 Above the din to soar 
 Unless they chose to chant their lays 
 
 With yell and shriek and roar. 
 
 But, all at once, the scene grew bright! 
 
 No more the racket swells; 
 We hear distinctly and aright 
 
 The tale the music tells. 
 The leader now has changed his aim ; 
 
 Sweet harmonies abound, 
 Since Mahler, "like a poultice, came, 
 
 To heal the blows of sound."
 
 Gatti-Casazza
 
 GATTI-CASAZZA AND DIPPEL 
 
 To join the Ananias Club 
 Old proverbs have begun: 
 An adage of our early youth 
 No longer seems to tell the truth- 
 Two Heads were worse than one! 
 
 99
 
 FRENZIED FIGURES 
 
 Vaunt not the Uncle Thomas show 
 
 With twin-like Topsies, gaily prancing; 
 Or three-ringed circus, where we go 
 
 To cross our eyes with sights entrancing ; 
 For Grandest Opera came in view 
 With 2 Directors Count Them 2! 
 
 2 Choruses oh, count them, too! 
 Italian one ; the other, German ; 
 Race riots will, perhaps, ensue 
 
 Or war (as once defined by Sherman) ; 
 Their color line's not white and jet, 
 But Teuton Latin, blonde brunette. 
 
 2 Orchestras oh, yes, indeed! 
 
 And 4 Conductors now assemble: 
 But what may furthermore succeed? 
 A premonition makes us tremble 
 
 Suppose, SUPPOSE the future brings 
 3 Simultaneous Nibelung Rings ! ! ! 
 
 100
 
 IRENE'S INFATUATION 
 
 Irene became a Wagnerit'e 
 
 At quite a recent day; 
 And when her fads begin their flight, 
 She follows all the way; 
 
 Just now she thinks the earth was made 
 So Parsifal could be displayed. 
 
 Irene reads volumes, by the score, 
 
 That bear upon this theme; 
 She skims through magazines galore 
 For Parsifallian cream; 
 
 The papers, too, though not for news, 
 But pro and Con-ried interviews. 
 
 Irene hears lectures, every kind 
 
 With choir-boys, with scenes, 
 With moving pictures or combined 
 With musical machines: 
 
 Consuming, hastily, the cult, 
 Will mind-dyspepsia not result? 
 
 Irene is learning, not by note, 
 
 That weird and wondrous score. 
 Sub rosa-ly, her family vote 
 The opera is a bore ; 
 
 And if announced for five more times, 
 They'll take a trip to distant climes 
 
 Irene's adorers look askance, 
 
 And more remote they stand ; 
 Except one youth, who sees the chance 
 To win his lady's hand : 
 
 She'll not refuse (he is adroit!) 
 A wedding journey to Baireuth. 
 
 101
 
 PAINFUL POSSIBILITIES 
 
 Before the golden stars that now 
 
 Illume Grand Opera's sky 
 In reverence we humbly bow, 
 Their fame we magnify, 
 
 And (if we can pronounce the same), 
 
 We speak, with bated breath, each name. 
 
 But should our reverence fail apace, 
 
 That man will be to blame 
 
 Who in the advertising space 
 
 Inserts each stellar name 
 
 It fills adoring minds with dread 
 To find De Reszke billed as "Ed." 
 
 Though printer's imps they may have been 
 
 Who made the error grave, 
 Within the list we've lately seen 
 The Bispham nicknamed "Dave!" 
 
 (And if you can't believe these rhymes, 
 You'll find it in a Tuesday Times.) 
 
 So, if we have "Lou" Homer next, 
 
 It would not much surprise; 
 "Lil" Nordica might well be vexed, 
 If such should meet her eyes; 
 
 "Jo" Gadski could not make a hit, 
 Though "Tony" Scotti seems to fit! 
 
 O advertiser! prithee pause: 
 
 Give "Edouard" all his meed 
 (Though hard it is to spell), because 
 In time this thing may lead 
 
 To "Tiny" Heink and shame of shames 
 A culmination of "Em" Eames! 
 
 102
 
 Slezak
 
 APROPOS OF TWO SOPRANOS 
 
 Fair Fremstad and Farrar comparing 
 Would be a task, useless and daring; 
 
 So let it be said 
 
 That each beautiful head 
 Its own style of laurel is wearing. 
 
 105
 
 GERALDINE FARRAR 
 
 Farrar's a flower: 
 
 Freshly blooms her girlish Marguerite, 
 A wayside daisy's timid grace, 
 With nature's sunlight in its face, 
 
 So simple and so sweet. 
 
 Farrar's a flower: 
 
 Mimi seems a broken fleur-de-lis; 
 Nedda, a scarlet poppy, glows; 
 Juliet, a velvet damask rose, 
 
 Unfolds at love's decree. 
 
 Farrar's a flower: 
 
 Wistaria, the fragrant counterpart 
 Of iridescent Butterfly; 
 As fragile as a passing sigh, 
 
 But twining round the heart. 
 
 106
 
 OLIVE FREMSTAD 
 
 Fremstad a flame 
 
 On an altar of Art: 
 No praise nor blame 
 Has marred the aim 
 To soar, apart. 
 
 A marvellous glow 
 
 Of variant rays; 
 From joy to woe 
 Great passions flow 
 
 In radiant blaze. 
 
 O magic fire 
 
 Still upward dart! 
 O voice like a lyre 
 From the heavenly choir- 
 Mount higher, yet higher 
 
 On the altar of Art ! 
 
 107
 
 A POSTSCRIPT TO YOU 
 
 Kind Reader (or, / hope, Dear Friend) : 
 
 If, haply, you survive 
 To travel with me to the end 
 And at this page arrive, 
 I now apologize in haste 
 For all that differed from your taste. 
 
 We see, of course, with varied eyes, 
 
 And when we write in jest, 
 There's very apt to be surprise 
 At what we have expressed; 
 
 But if you print a book some day, 
 I vow to echo all you say! 
 
 1 08
 
 University of California 
 
 SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 405 Hilgard Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90024-1388 
 
 Return this material to the library 
 
 from which it was borrowed. 
 
 AUG 281997 
 
 fcc/hr? 
 
 DUE 2 WKS FROM Wftl RECEIVED 
 
 Form I 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 MUSIC 
 .IBRARY 
 
 
 The song of the 
 evening stars 
 
 A 000135500 7 
 
 Music 
 
 LIBRARY