F R E N C II ' S 
 
 -A.]viERiCA.:Nr i3nA.M:^. 
 
 3ri)c Slctina HDition. 
 No. LXXXIII. 
 
 MY 
 
 NEIGHBOR'.S WIFE: 
 
 A F A R C E . I N ONE ACT. 
 
 An.tPTKK FROM THi; FRKNCH, 
 
 BY ALFRED BUNN. ESQ. 
 
 re wnrcii aks added, 
 
 A Description of the Cottume— Cast of the Characten— Emrancos and Rjcili» 
 
 Relativ* Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and the whole of the 
 
 Bt»ga Business. 
 
 A8 PKRFORMr.D AT ALL THK PRIN'CIPAL THKATRES IN 
 THE UNITED STATES. 
 
 NEW-YORK: 
 S A ]M U E L FRENCH, 
 
 I'.M NASSAU-STREET.
 
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 I- 2- bo SA.Ni'A UAMliAllA 
 
 <F! st u m r. — My Nkigiibor's Wivk. 
 
 SOMfiRTON— Evening dress. 
 
 SMITH — Green body coat, crimson velvet waistcoat, black stocz, 
 buti'trowsers, large whiskers. 
 
 BROWN — Brown cloth body coal, white waistcoat, wl.ite cravat, 
 black trowser.s and gaiters, broad-brimuied hat. 
 
 THE LADIE.S— Fashionable walking dresseg.
 
 MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE. 
 
 SCENE. — A Chamber. At the first entrance, e., ix a window, and at 
 (he second entrance a door, leading to an inner apartment. At thefi.r»t 
 entrance, l., t« a small apartment, the inside of which is visible to the 
 Audience. It is entered hy a side door at l. c, with a window over it 
 — a centre door in the flats — on one side is a fainter^ s easel, with a piC' 
 ture 071 it — pistols crossed, hang up against the wall, near the window 
 — a table pertly laid out — chairs — a lady's work-table, surmounted by a 
 looking-glass, containing plates, glasses, ^c. 
 
 Mrs. Someeton, Mrs. Bkown, and Mrs. Smith, discovered. 
 
 Mrt. Somer. (c.) Well, my dears, say what you will, I repeat it again 
 —men are all monsters. 
 
 Mrs. B. All — except Mr. Brovrn. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And Mr. Smith. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. {Aside.) Poor souls ! Iflwereto tell them all. [To 
 them.] Don't flatter yourselves too much ; certainly I have every confi- 
 dence in the affection and fidelity of my husband ; but [siffnificantly,'\ 
 when I see what is going on in other establishments, I tremble for fear 
 Mr. Somerton should be as deceitful as the rest of the world ; and, not- 
 withstanding appearances, I really would not swear to anything. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. There I have the advantage over you, Mrs. Somerton, 
 for I swear Mr. Smith is faithful to me 
 
 Mrs. B. And I'll take my oath, Mr. Brown is faithful to me. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Really ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith. I'm not all astonished at your being uneasy, my dear 
 Mrs. Somerton, who have married a wild, giddy young man. It is not 
 possible you could be otherwise ; but Mr. Smith being a plain, steady 
 tradesman, of a steady age 
 
 Mrs. B. And Mr. 13rown a city broker — never out of his counting" 
 house, and one whose sole thoughts are on his business and his wifc'a 
 happiness — he never does anything without consulting me 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Really ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Then Mr. Smith is as modest, timid, and reserved as «
 
 MY NEIGHBORS WIFE. O 
 
 young girl, and would not dare to open his mouth without first asking 
 uiy permission. 
 
 Mrs. B. It is this which makes me love Mr. Brown. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And me adore Mr. Smith. 
 
 Mrs. B. [To Mrs. Somekton.] But your husband, my dear, is too 
 giddy and dissipated. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And not half reserved enough in his conversation. 
 
 Mrs. B. And looking at all women with singular audacity. Oh, my 
 dear Mrs. Sonierton, really 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. My worthy neighbors, you are too good by half; but I 
 
 don't want any one to be uneasy about me. [They ris>:.'] I am very 
 
 happy, believe me. I love my Somerton just as he is, with all his good 
 
 qualities and all his failings ; I never find fault with the friends of my 
 
 husband, and prefer that he should be polite and attentive to all who 
 
 visit us — even to you, my dears ! 
 
 Mrs. B. ) T, , . 
 i)/ry.6'm,7A.rous! 
 
 Mrs. Somer. To be sure, for you know you are both very handsome. 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Oh ! — You are too kind. 
 
 Mm. Somer. Notwithstanding we are neighbors, you might be dan- 
 gerous rivals. But I have no fear of j'ou. 
 
 Mrs. B. You have no reason. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. No, none. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Of course not ; at the same time, I defy you, with all 
 your charms and all your esprit, to make him inconstant. And, as 
 friends and neighbors, I must speak very frankly to you, and tell you 
 that instead of troubling yourselves so much about what is going on in 
 my house, you should look a little more to your own. [Asnlc] They 
 won't easily get over that. ICrosses to r 
 
 Mrs. B. ) „ , 
 
 Mrs.Smzth.^ ^Too«r.? 
 
 Mrs. B. What can she mean ? 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Why, my dear Mrs. Somerton, what are you thinking 
 about 1 
 
 Mrs Somer. Oh, nothing of any moment, or certainly — I most sin 
 cerel}^ wish your husbands may always be faithful to you. 
 
 [^Significantly 
 
 Mrs. B. But, my dear Mrs. Somerton, if you really know anything, 
 you ought to tell us. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Pray speak out. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Oh, bless you, I know nothing — at least nothing posi- 
 tive, nothing more than — you know about vty husband ; therefore, my 
 dear good people, suppose we change the subject. What are you both 
 going to do to-night ! 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh. I'm going home, to be sure ' 
 
 Mrs. Smith. So am I. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. And 1 shall sup with Mr. Somerton. 
 
 [Goes up to tabu, ft. 
 
 Mrs. B. And I with my dear Timothy.
 
 6 
 
 MY NEIGHBOR S WIFE. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And I with my beloved Jonathan. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Well, a good appetite, and a good supper. 
 
 [Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Smith are about to go, when Mrs. Someb- 
 TON stays them. 
 
 But, I say — suppose by any chance, your husbands should net coino 
 home ' 
 
 Mrs. B. [Vehemently.'] What? 
 
 Mrs. iSinith. [Confide Hi hj.] That is quite impossible. [Going. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Well — I onlv said "suppose," and if they do not, you 
 will find a knife and fork ready for you here. 
 
 Mrs. B. You are very kind. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. But don't make yourself uneasy, we shall have no reason 
 to do that. 
 
 Mrs Somer. I hope not ; however, you will find a hearty welcome ; 
 for I bear you no grudge, you see, for your attacks upon poor Somer- 
 ton's fidelity. 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh ! it's all nothing but neighbor's gossip. Adiey ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Good night, my dear. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Good bye, and don't forget ; here's a plate for you, if 
 you like to come back. [Crosses to r., as they go up. 
 
 Mrs. B. Ha, ha ! [Aside, as going out ] Poor thing ! She knows 
 her husband is gone out gallavanting. [Exeunt, c. and r. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. There they go, a couple of poor silly dupes. I've put 
 them in a bit of a fume, however ; and it serves them right for coming 
 "and abusing my husband to my face. Thank P'ortune, I'm not at all 
 jealous, but I should like to revenge myself on these worthy people, for 
 trying to make me so ; and there could not be a better opportunity, for 
 these two identical husbands have each written me a love letter. Now, 
 the idea of two such fellows, with two such names as Jonathan Smith 
 and Timothy Brown — the one a stock-broker of five-and-thirty, the other 
 a tailor of forty — daring to write billct-dou.x to their neighbor's wife, is 
 quite provocation enough — my husband is ^one out to dinner, and was 
 to have gone to the city ball afterwards, but I begged him to come home 
 at eight to a minute ; and, that we may keep the jest among ourselves, 
 and not be the talk of the city, I have prudently given the servants a 
 holiday, so that when Charles comes back, I must let him in myself, 
 and I hope I shall be better able to answer than my neighbors for conju- 
 gal punctuality. {,-1 knnckivg heard.] There he is, I'm sure. 
 
 [Runs ojj at c. and r., returning with Somekton 
 
 Somcr. My dear, why did you open the door yourself — where are the 
 servants 1 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Never mind, they are all out. 
 
 Somer. All out 1 ' 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Yes, yes; but I thank you, my dear Charles, for com 
 ing home thus in good time. 
 
 Somcr. It was your wish, my Caroline, and that was quite enough 
 for me to obey it ; but 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. But — but — I hope it has not put you out of your way. 
 
 Somcr. Not at all, my dear ; but I should, notwithstanding, like to
 
 MV NKIGIIBOR S WIFK, 1 
 
 know why you have pressed me so urgently not to go to this ball, and 
 to come home exactly at eight. 
 
 Mrs. iSonier. You must lirst of all promise me faithfully that you will 
 not lly in a passion with me, or be angry with any one else ; but have 
 a hearty laugh at what I'm going to tell you. 
 
 Somcr. That's as it may happen. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. And that if you are determined to have revenge upon 
 any one, you'll let me have the management of it. 
 
 Somer. I don't much like this opening. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Well, you promise me ail this 1 
 
 Somcr. Well, well, I will. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Agreed, then. [7aking a later out of one of the pockets 
 of her apron.'} Read that letter. [GiviJiff -it to Somertqn. 
 
 Somcr. \_Reading the letter.'] "Adorable Caroline,]" — whatl — who is 
 this impudent scoundrel 1 
 
 Mrs. Somer. You forget your promise, Charles, and are in a passion 
 already — come, read on. 
 
 Somer. [Rcadmg'.'\ " Adorable Caroline. — Your derision and cruelty 
 have preyed upon my heart, and caused it the deepest anguish. I am 
 most anxious to tell you all I feel before I fly from you for ever ; and as 
 your husband is going this evening to the citj' ball, grant me the delight- 
 ful favor of an interview. If I do not receive an answer from you, I 
 will be under your window a little after eight, and will clap my hands 
 three times as a signal, to let you know I am there ; when I hope you 
 will not refuse to receive the last farewell of your disconsolate — Timo- 
 thy." Timothy 1 What ! Timothy Brown, the broker, my next door 
 neighbor 1 
 
 Mrs Somcr. The very man ! 
 
 Somcr. Why, the impudent vagabond — with his mild manners and 
 placid countenance ! But there is no trusting to appearances. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. But this is not all, my dear Charles — read this I 
 
 \_Tahing another letter out of the other jtocket, and giving it him. 
 
 Somer. Another 1 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Yes : but pray make hnste and read. 
 
 Somer. [Jicad.mg.] " Incomparable and inexorable beauty ! I am 
 above all duplicity, and prefer candidly and at once opening my heart, 
 rather than adopting any circuitous method. Since I lirst knew you I 
 have almost ceased to know myself, and my heart will break unless I 
 can relieve it by a personal confession ; I. therefore, implore you to 
 grant me an interview. I understand j'our husband is goinp- to the citv 
 ball to-night. About a quarter after eight, you will hear under your 
 window the sound of my flute, and if you will only deign to open it, it will 
 convince me you are not inflexible. I .shall bring with me some nice 
 things for a quiet supper, which I have expressly ordered from Birch's, 
 as a slight proof of the devotion of your attached — Jonathan." What ! 
 that damned tailor, my other next-door neighbor. Why. the tailor is 
 even more impudent than the broker ! 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Now, is it not much better to laugh at these coxcombs, 
 than to fly in a passion with them 1 
 
 Somer. But what do you propose 1
 
 8 MY neighbor's wife. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. First of all, that you go out. 
 
 Homer. What ! Go out! 
 
 Mrs. Somer. That is indispensable : and as soon as you are gone I 
 will receive them. 
 
 Somcr. But you must explain. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. I will receive them, and then 
 
 Somcr. And then ! What then ! 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. [Taking a book from lady's work fable, and giving it to 
 SoMERTON.] Here take this volume, it is La Fontaine, and at the bottom 
 of this page, [j)ointing with her finger] you will read all I want you 
 to do. 
 
 Somirton. [Glancing over tV.] Oh, I understand — I take, and will 
 follow implicitly your instructions. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. It's settled then! 
 
 Somer. Quite. [Three claps of the hand are heard, K.] That's the 
 broker to a certainty. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. And to his time. 
 
 Somer. Then I'll slip down the back staircase. 
 
 [SoMERTON goes out at the door, r. 1 k. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Now then to receive my beaux — but I must first set 
 myself all in apple-pie order ; [goiiig to the glass'] for, notwithstanding 
 we despise people, we ought always to appear before them to the best 
 advantage. [Arfannrng herself before the glass, and speaking.] Mrs. 
 Somerton, I think you are looking very well to-night. [A knock, r. u. i.] 
 I'm coming. There's nothing like keeping one's lover in a little sus- 
 pense. [Knock again.} Coming, coming. Bless me, he's very impatient. 
 There, now I'm all right : and now for opening the door. [Kyiock agaiti. 
 
 She goes off, c. and r., rcturiiing with Mr. Brown. 
 
 Oh, it's you, Mr. Brown. 
 
 Brown. At last, my cruel Caroline, I behold you. I almost feared 
 you would refuse mc admittance. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. What! Do you tliink yourself so very dangerous 
 then ! 
 
 Brorvn. Not that ; but you can, I hope, make some allowance for the 
 feelings of an anxious lover. 
 
 Mr.s. Somcr. You must not talk in that manner ; for if any o!ie 
 should overhear you — [Sound of afiule is heard undrr the windmr, l. 2 E. 
 
 Brown. Why that's a flute, and very like the tune that our neighbor 
 Smith is so per(jctually playing. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. The very same. [Aside] And the signal mentioned in 
 his letter. [Opens the window, then says to Brown.] He's coming to 
 spend the evening with us. 
 
 Broxrn. With u.s ! Oli, Caroline I Caroline, this is cruel of you. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Cruel, indeed : why, what do you take me fori In the 
 absence of my husband, to remain alone with a man ; and [snceringbj'] 
 Ruch a captivating young man as you, Mr. Brown 1 Oh. no, I couW 
 not think of such a thing. 
 
 Brown. Then this is only to save appearances. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Oh, nothing more.
 
 MT NEIGHBOR S WIFE. 9 
 
 Brown. [Aside.] Well then I must put up with it; but it is devilish 
 nnpleasant for all that. 
 
 Enler Smith on tiptoe, xcilh a flute in one hand, and carrying in the other 
 a basket with sundry provisions. 
 
 Smith. ILookini^ in.] The door left open ; it is evident then she ex- 
 pects me. Are you alone, my pretty Caroline 1 [Advances. 
 
 Mrs. Sonier. Oh, no; Mr. Brown is here — come on purpose to keep 
 us company. 
 
 Smith, (r.) Brov^n ! 
 
 Brown, (l.) At your service — if I can be of the slightest use to you. 
 
 Smith. Certainly, I'm delighted. [Aside.] The devil take him, say I. 
 [To Mrs. Somerton.] When is he going ! I suppose he does not sup 
 with usi 
 
 Airs. Somer. To be sure he does. [Alternatety to one and the other."] 
 My husband, you know, has gone to the city ball to-night ; and I stay 
 at home with two of his friends ; if I was with one only, they might 
 raise ill reports of me : but with two even slander itself can say 
 nothing. 
 
 Smith. Oh, certainly ; you are very right. [Aside.] This fellow 
 Brown is invited I see, as a sort of go-between, and cloak to cover our 
 proceedings : luckily, he is a great fool, and I can turn him about to my 
 purpose as I please. 
 
 Brown. This damned fellow, Smith, is always in the way 
 
 Smith. My dear friend — glad to see you. [2'o Beown. 
 
 Brown You are very kind. 
 
 Smith. Come, make yourself yseful, and help m6 to open my provi- 
 sion store. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Ay, so do. and here's a table nearly ready to receive all. 
 
 Smith. [To Brown.] Well, prepare the table for some of Birch'n 
 ▼ery best. [Aside to Mrs. Somerton.] You beauty, I adore you more 
 than ever. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Are you mad 1 
 
 Smith. Yes I am. and you have made me so. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Be quiet— hold your tongue. [He advances up the stase. 
 
 Brown. [Leaving the table and coming on down the l. side of Mrs. 
 Somerton.] What is that he is saying to youl — Is he making love to 
 you! 
 
 Mrs. Sontcr. Quite the contrary ; he is telling me I ought to listen 
 to you. 
 
 Brown. Oh I then it's all right I 
 
 Mrs. Somer. [Going to the table.] The knives and forks are wanted. 
 I'll go for them in the next room, and at the same time order coffee and 
 liqueurs to be got ready. 
 
 Brown. Pray do not trouble yourself 
 
 Smith. She's right ; it's all the fashion now^ "s^ 
 
 [Mrs. Somerton goes out at door, r. 1 k. — Smith is about lofollaic her.] 
 
 Brown. [Fulliug him back by the coat tail.] Isn't she a delightful 
 creature ? 
 
 Qmith. What aro ycni talking abowt!
 
 10 MY KEIGHBOr's wife. 
 
 Brown. \As Sjiith is agaiii about tofoHow Mr. Someuton, takes him 
 by the arm, and brings him forjvard ] Now, my dear fellow, you can 
 help me in a most essential manner with her. 
 
 t^initk. Help you i 
 
 Brown. And if you will rely on my gratitude 
 
 Snuih. Why, my friend, I thhik you are out of your mind. 
 
 Brown. How ] 
 
 iiniith. Why, I calculated on you to plead my cause with Mji 
 Komerton 
 
 Brown. On me 1 
 
 Smilli. That is, if you wish to preserve my good opinion. 
 
 Brown. You love her, then 1 
 
 Smith. That I do. 
 
 Brown. So do I, a hundred times more than you do I 
 
 Smith. You fellow I — love her I — I'd hai-e j'ou to know 
 
 [^Follows him to t. 
 
 Broken. And I'd have you to know — if, sir, you have the audacity 
 only to think [Follows him to r. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. [Withoitf.^ Now, then, here they are 
 
 Smith. She's coming ; so pray he silent hefore her. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Somekton, p. 1 e. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Now, gentlemen, to supper. 
 
 Both. Aye, to supper ! 
 
 Brown. I shall have an eye on that fellow. \_Asidc 
 
 Smith. \_Aside.'\ I shan't lose sight of you, Mr. Brown, I promise 
 you. 
 
 Brown. Smith, my dear fellow, give me your liand — a thousand 
 thanks ! 
 
 Smith. Why, what's the man thanking me for] 
 
 3Irs. Somer. Why, for the handsome supper to which you have 
 invited him. 
 
 Smith. It is not to me, but yourself, my dear Mrs. Somerton, to 
 whom ail thank.sare due. 
 
 Mrs Somcr. Oh, no ! to you. 
 
 Brown. To you both — you, my charming madam, [To Mrs. Somer- 
 ton] and you, my good friend — to you both. 
 
 Smith. The man's a fool! [Going to tabic — Mns Somerton sits at 
 talk, with Brown 07i her right hand, and Smith on her left handl 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Well, really, this is delightful— by the eide of those 
 \vc love, and opposite to those we esteem — surely man can desire no 
 more! 
 
 Brown. After all, I flatter myself I am the man. [Aside. 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Now, gentlemen, pray help yourselves. 
 
 Brown. 1 will first propose a toast — " Here's to the beautiful Caro 
 lifio." 
 
 Smith. *' To the bcauti'ul "Caroline ;" — the rascal there has got the 
 start of me. [As they arc about to fill their glasses, a hnorking is heard 
 U)Uhout, R ] 
 
 Mrs. Somcr. Bless me, who can be knocking at thi.s hour •
 
 MV neighbor's wife. 11 
 
 Brown. It's very odd 
 
 Smith. And very unpleasant. 
 
 Somcr. [ Wil/ioiit.] (>aroline, my dear, open the door to me. 
 
 J/;s. Somer. It's my husband ! I'm lost! 
 
 Brown. I wish I was 
 
 Smith. I'm a dead man. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. But what's to he done! — hide yourselves, in mercy'i 
 sake t 
 
 Smith. It's very well to say hide, but where ! [Rises. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. \_Pointinrj to the chamber, i,.] There, in that little closet 
 — make haste — I'm hnlt' dead. [/« a loud voice.'\ Coming, Charles, 
 coming, mj' dear. [7'o Bkown and Smith.] Keep eilent or we're 
 ruined. 
 
 They enter door of the closet, as she goes off, c, and lets in Somkkton. 
 
 Somer. [Advancing.'] This is not very kind treatment, my dear, to 
 keep me waiting in this manner. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Don't be angry, Charles ; the fact is, I did not expect 
 you home so early. 
 
 Broicn. [hi chamber ] How her voice trembles. 
 
 Smith. \_In chamber^ Enough to make it. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. [la a low voice, and pointing to the closet.] There they 
 aic. 
 
 Somcr. Capital. [Alovd.] I don't intend, my dear, to go to this ball 
 to-night. 
 
 Brown \ 
 and ^Oh I [A sort of mutual groan. 
 
 Smith. ) 
 
 Somer. What noise is that, love ? 
 
 Mrs. Somer. I heard nothing 
 
 [Both scarcely able to smother their laughter. 
 
 Smith. [To Brown ] Don't breathe, or we're dead men. 
 
 Brown. I'm dumb. 
 
 Somer. [Looking at Ike table.] You don't appear to have been very 
 disconsolate at my absence, my dear, to judge by the display on your 
 table — patties, lobsters, tarts, jellies, wine 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Why, yes, my dear — and no — why, that is 
 
 Somcr. That is what, my dear1 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Why. I had invited two ladies, our next-door neigh- 
 bors. 
 
 Somer. What ! Mrs. Smith 1 
 
 Smith. My wife I 
 
 Mrs. Samer. And Mrs. Brown. 
 
 Brown. My wife ! 
 
 Smith. Leave these women alone for getting out of ) 
 a scrape. V [Inside chamber. 
 
 Broken. And perhaps for getting us into one. J 
 
 Somer. So, my dear, you have invited two neighbors'! I'm very glad 
 to hear of it. Run in, love, and fetch them, and say that supper is 
 ready, and we are waiting foi them.
 
 12 MY NEIGHBORS WIFE. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. I'll step in at once 
 
 Somcr. Ay, do. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. And bring them in instantly. 
 
 ^5 she goes out at d. f., Somerton layt another knife andjork, and 
 puts the table in order. 
 
 i>mith. My wife will not conic, I'm sure. 
 
 IiToicn. ]Nor mine either, for she expects me home. 
 
 Homer. There, that will do ; I shall sit here, between Mrs. Smith 
 and Mrs. Brown, and my wife opposite to me. 
 
 [Goes ttp the stage, brings doicn his pistols, and loads them. 
 
 >imilh. Well, he's taking it very coolly. 
 
 Svmer. I'm not altogether comfortable in my mind, for when 
 I came in, it struck me that my wife looked extremely embarrassed 
 
 Brown. But what is he doing there 1 
 
 Smilh. 1 don't know — I'll peep through the "key-hole. Why, as I'm 
 alive, he's loading his pistols. 
 
 Brown. Then he has certainly seen us. 
 
 Smith. Hold your tongue, Brown, or he'll stop it for you. 
 
 Somer. [Talking to himself but lovd enough to be heard iy Brown 
 and Smith.] And a thought came into my head, that if she could — but 
 that is impossible, for I am sure she loves me : besides, she well knows 
 that if I were to surprise any man here at this hour, if he were the 
 dearest friend I have on earth, I'd blow his brains out on the spot. [He 
 is pacing the stage, and stops by the little closet uherc Brown and Smith 
 are concealed, as he says the latter part of the sentence: they bob down 
 their heads at his approach — he then seats himself bit the table. '\ 
 
 Smith- [Lijlrng up his head.] Did you hear what he said ? 
 
 Brown. Yes : but it won't bear repeating. 
 
 Somer. I'll load them both with a couple of bullets. Thank Fortune, 
 that touch of jealousy was but momentary ; I have no right to suspect 
 my Caroline — and at this moment I ought to be especially grateful to 
 her for inviting our two neighbors, particularly one of them, who is 
 the most amiable and delight lul woman on earth. 
 
 Smith. That's my wife I 
 
 Brmcn. No ; mine. 
 
 Somer. And I have been in love with her for a long time without 
 daring to tell her so 
 
 Smith. If he's in love witli iier, it is yours. 
 
 Brown. No ; yours. 
 
 Somer. However, .to-day I feel a little more nerve and impudence 
 in my composition, and I'll contrive some opportunity of declaring 
 myself — so, my next door neighbor, I'd advise you to be on the look 
 out. Now, let us put these out of harm's way in the closet. 
 
 [lie goes lov-ard the closet, n., and is about to open it. 
 
 Smith. He is coming liere I 
 
 Brown. Then we are a brace of dead men. 
 
 Mrs. Bomcr. [Ouisidc.] Come, my dear friends, thje way — thi» 
 ■n ay 
 
 Porter Oh thr. charrn'rs Here thcr com« '
 
 MY neighbor's wife. IS 
 
 Puis his pistols in a chair, and goes off c. and a., Brown (ind Smith 
 cautiously open the closet door, and peep out. 
 
 Brown. At present we arc well out of that I 
 
 Smith. Yes ; if he don't come back. Every bit of my skin is like 
 poose's flesh. [They retreat. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Somerton, with Mrs. Brown t« one hand, and Mas. Smith 
 VI the other. 
 
 Smncr. Ladies, most welcome ! 
 
 Mrs. B. Good evening, Mrs. Somerton. 
 
 Brown. That's my wife — the coquette I 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Mr. Somerton, your most obedient. 
 
 Smith. And that's mine — the monster ! 
 
 Mrs. Somer. My dear Charles, our friends hesitated coming, for a 
 moment, for fear of displeasing their husbands, but I assured them you 
 would plead their cause before them. 
 
 \r (.■' •,!. t And we have only come on that condition. 
 Mrs. Smith. } •' 
 
 Somer. Willingly, most willingly — I was going to the city ball 
 
 to-nicht. but I feel no regret at having abandoned its attractions, since 
 
 it has procured me the pleasure of passing the evening with you. Will 
 
 you allow me to offer you a hand ? 
 
 Takes Mrs. Brown iw one hand, and Mrs. Smith in the other, aiid 
 places them at the table on each side of himself — Mrs. Somerton 
 opponUe. 
 Smith. Whv, they arc going to eat up my supper I 
 Brown. And I am dying with hunger. 
 
 Somer. [Taslntrf the pate and recommending it.'\ This pat6 is ex- 
 cellent, J assure j-ou. 
 
 Smith. It ought to be, it cost me half a guinea. 
 Somer Will you allow me the pleasure, charming Mrs. Smith? 
 Brown. Did you hear that ? [^siJe.] Poor Smith ! 
 Mrs. Somer. My dear Charles, I am the only one you have forgotten. 
 Somer. True, my love, but hospitality to our friends made me for a 
 moment forgetful. 
 
 [Thcij drink, help each other, and seem to enjoy their supper. 
 Brown. I don't hear a word. 
 
 Smith. How the devil can they speak when all their mouths are 
 chuck full ? 
 
 Brown. I should like, at all events, to see what they're about. 
 Smith. There's a window, let us get up on the table. 
 
 They put vp a table agai7ist the door, and two chairs on the table, 
 
 then open the small window, at which they occasionally appear and 
 
 disappear, the Audience seeing what they arc doing through the 
 
 large front window. 
 
 Somer. Well, really, this is one of the roost delightful evenings I 
 
 •v«r enjoyed
 
 14 Mv neiohbor's wife. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And, and to tell you the truth, it's very pleasant now and 
 then to be away from the restraint of one's husband. 
 
 Smith. [At the window.'] Very, no doubt. 
 
 Mrs. B. And to enjoy a friend's society without any low and vulgar 
 suspicions. 
 
 Brcicn. Very pleasant truly. I say, the supper smells nice, don't it I 
 
 tSmith. Your wife seems to think so, for she's making a tolerable 
 good example of it. Brown, have an eye to your wife. 
 
 Brown. Smitli, have an eye to j'our forehead. 
 
 Somer. My dear Caroline, we ought to be obliged by your kind 
 attention and good supper, but it seems to me there is one thing still 
 wanting. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. What is that, Charles 1 
 
 Somcr. Why I dare say our iriends would like one glass of Cham- 
 pagne just by way of a wind up. 
 
 Mrx. Somer. Very true, Charles. 
 
 Mrs. B. Champagne ! we have some capital Champagne, at home — 
 bat my husband, a niggardly fellow, always locks it up, and never 
 offers any one a drop ; if 30U will wait a minute, I'll run in and fetch 
 two or three bottles. 
 
 Brown. Precious little devil I 
 
 Smith. Hold your tongue, man. 
 
 Somer. You shall not go alone ; allow me to escort you. 
 
 Brown. Why the icllow offers his arm to my wife. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. By no menus, 1 will go with you, my dear Mrs. Brown, 
 and Charles shall stay and keep iMrs. Smith company. 
 
 Smith. So much the better, then she'll be under my own eye. 
 
 Mrs. B. Come along, my dear, we'll be back in a moment ; but 
 mind, my husband must know nothing about it. 
 
 They go off' at c. v., follo2ced to the door iy Somkuton and Mnt. 
 Smith. 
 Brown. The baggage — I'll murder her. 
 
 Pokes his body half out of (he window, and is pulled back by S.mith, 
 an action they allernaltly repeat, vnlil So.meuton and Mrs. S.mith 
 have advanced. 
 
 Smith. Be quiet, Browti. 
 
 Brown. I'll be the death of her. 
 
 Smith. We shall be the de.Uh of one another, if you don't be silent. 
 
 Somer. At length, my dear Mrs. Smith, we are alone. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And what then, my dear sir ' 
 
 Somer. What, can you not guess ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith. No. 
 
 Smith. Why. what the devil is going to happen nowl 
 
 Brown. Hush! be quiet. Smith. Do you see Somerton whispering 
 to your wifel 
 
 Smith. Whispering proves nothing. 
 
 Somer. \ Oouiir 7iear(r to 'S\ks. Smith.] I have sought this delightful 
 titt-a-tHc for many a long day past.
 
 MT NEIGHBOR S TVIFE. 
 
 15 
 
 Mrs. Umith. [Drawirig^ herself np.'] Sir, do you know to whom you 
 are addressing yourtelf! 
 
 Smith. That's a settler for him. \_Aside at window. 
 
 Somer. To the most beautiful, mos; adored, yet most cruel of her 
 sex. 
 
 Mrs. Smilh. You greatly astonish rae — this is the first time you 
 ever 
 
 Samcr. If my lips have been silent, surely my looks must have made 
 you acquainted with this passion, that will end only with my life. 
 
 3Irs. Smith. Pray think no more of me — remember I'm married. 
 
 Smith. Charming creature — isn't she. Brown 1 
 , Somcr. Oh, I know that ; but to whom 1 — a fellow not capable of 
 appreciating your numerous attractions — a low person altogether un- 
 worthy of your matchless beauty and innumerable charms. 
 
 Smith. What's that he says. Brown : 
 
 Brown. Be silent, I tell you. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. My husband is certainly very inattentive sometimes. 
 
 Somcr. To be sure he is — a scoundrel! 
 
 Mrs. Smilh. Often absent from home. 
 
 Somer. Abominable I 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And I must admit his manners are not particularly 
 polished. 
 
 Broicn. I say. Smith — she seems to have studied you pretty well. 
 
 Smith. I'll poison her — my manners, indeed I 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And he has not much of the man of fashion about him. 
 
 Somer. He's a positive lout. 
 
 Srnith. I'll poison her. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. But still he is my husband, and I ought 
 
 Somer. You ought only to think of a love the most tender, and the 
 most impassioned. Behold me, dearest, at your feet. 
 
 Mrs. Smith, llise, pray. 
 
 Smilh. ^ 
 and > On his knees I 
 
 Broiun. S 
 
 Mri. Smith. [Aside.] Poor Mrs. Somerton, wlio was so sure of her 
 dear Charles' heart, and defied us to make him inconstant. 
 
 Somcr. What says, my love — my darling? 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Oh nothing — nothing — rise, pray, pray — leave me ! 
 
 Smith. The abominable creature ! She's giving way. 
 
 Brown. It's like 'em all — except Mrs. Brown. 
 
 Sorner. [Kissing her hand.] You divine creature, grant me one 
 favor — my ilemahd is not a very exorbitant one — give me this boquet, 
 here in your bosom, as a pledge of your affection. 
 
 [He takes a boquet out of her bosom 
 
 Mrs. Smith. Pray — pray leave me. 
 
 Smith. There, he has taken her boquet. 
 
 3Irs. Somertiin [Outside] Come along, give me one of the bottle«. 
 
 Somer. They are coming back. 
 
 Broicn. High time, eh, Smith ! 
 
 Srniih. I'm sufTocated ; I shall choke with ra^e.
 
 16 MT neighbor's wife. 
 
 [During the whole of this scene, Bnowff had been pulling back Shitb 
 by the coat, who was putting his head out too forward. 
 
 Mes. Brown, entering with Mrs. Somebton, c. 
 
 3frs. B. Here they are, and we have picked out a couple of the very 
 best in the cellar. [They all sit again at table.'] That's right, my dear; 
 that's just how I always serve Mr. Smith. 
 
 Smith. [At window.] Oh. dear! oh, Lord ! 
 
 Somer. Well, now we've got his wine, we had better make use of it; 
 and the least we can do is to drink Brown's good health. 
 
 AIL With all my heart — here's Brown's health ! 
 
 Mrs. B. TimJthy Brown, your very good health. 
 
 Brown. [At window.] Thank ye, and be d — d to you. Oh, my very 
 best Champagne ! 
 
 Somcr. It's really excellent ; and as long as we haven't Brown's com* 
 pany, the more of this sparkling champagne we have, the more agree- 
 able. 
 
 Brown. You're very good. 
 
 Somer. And now, allow me to propose Mr. Smith's health. 
 
 [ They drink 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Now suppose we go in the next room, and take a cup of 
 coffee 1 [ They rise. 
 
 Somer. A very good idea. Ladies, allow me to offer you each a 
 hand. 
 
 Mr.s. Somcr. Aye, and do follow me. 
 
 [Mrs, SoMERTONfofs out a! door, r. 1 y.., followed by So.mf.rton, between 
 Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Brown. As soon as they are gone. Brown and 
 Smith get down, and replace the chairs and table, which they had placed 
 against the doors. 7' hey then come out, and par.e the stage in a. Juriou$ 
 manner. 
 
 Smith. Perfidious woman I who would ever have thought it ? 
 
 Brown. My dear fellow, don't run about in this manner; becalm, 
 and let us talk it over. [Pacing the stage furiously. 
 
 Smith. I'm half mad, Brown. 
 
 Brown. No wonder — so would I be, if I were you. 
 
 Smith. It's monstrous. 
 
 Broicn. Infamous — shocking — ha, ha, ha I 
 
 Smith. What the devil are you laughing at? 
 
 Brown. My dear fellow. I'm not laughing; it's an hysterical sympathy 
 with your situation. [Aside] Poor Smith! Who was so sure of the 
 virtue! of his wife. Upon my soul, I can't help laughing if I were to dia 
 for it. [To S.MiTH.] Pray pardon me; but I really cannot help it. 
 
 [Noise, E. 1 E. 
 
 Smith. Hush — somebody's coming ! Help to replace the chairs 
 and [They replace them. 
 
 Brown. Pshaw ! 'Tis all fancy. So suppose, now. while they are 
 It their coffee in the next room, we bit down here and pick a bit» 
 and take the liberty of making fres with aoino of my o«vn dear wiao. 
 
 Smi!\ Thank you, I'm no' hungry
 
 MY neighbor's wife. 17 
 
 Brown. But I am ; for I've had nothing to take away my appetite ; 
 
 and really this pat6 of yours, Smith — [He goes to the table, cuts a bit of 
 
 the pale, and is just about to cat, ivhcn the door opens.] By all the saints 
 
 in the calendar, here's my wife coming ! [He hides under the table. 
 
 Smith. His wife I 
 
 \_He hides himself behind the easel, on which a picture is. 
 Enter Mrs, Brown, speaking as. the enters the door, e. 2 k. 
 
 Mrs. B. Now do allow me, while you are finishing your coffee. I'll go 
 and clear the supper table, and put all in order. [Coming foi~ward.'\ 
 Well, I must confess that Mrs. Smith is a terrible flirt. 
 " Smith. [Behind easell There's no doubt whatever of that. 
 
 Mrs. B. What looks she has been glancing toward Somerton. I 
 really blushed for her. 
 
 Brown. [Putting out his head from under the table.} My dear little 
 wife, I'd give you a kiss if I dared. 
 
 Mrs. B, At the same time, I must confess that Somerton is very 
 agreeable, and also that he has 
 
 Broken. Not so fast, ma'am, if you please. • 
 
 Smith. They are birds of a featlier, that's evident. 
 
 Mrs. B. He has also a fine figure, and a good expression of counte 
 nance. 
 
 Brown. [Putting his head out.^ It's a damned lie I 
 
 Somerton steals softly in at r. 2 e. 
 
 Mrs. B. But I cannot understand how he could have such bad taste 
 as to make love to Mrs. Smith, a woman altogether so unworthy of him ; 
 that is a ttiing I really never can forgive him for. 
 
 Smith. Nor I either 
 
 Somer. [Touching Mrs. Brown's shoulder.] What, still inflexible. 
 
 Mrs. B. [Starting.] Oh, Mr. Somerton ! you quite frighten me. 
 
 Somer. Fear ! Oh, fear is not the sentiment with which I would 
 inspire you ! 
 
 Smith. [Popping his head from behind the easel, at the same time that 
 Brown puts his head from under the table, and seems in a violent rage.] 
 It's your turn now, Brown. 
 
 Mrs B. [To Somerton. J I suppose you think you are addressing 
 Mrs. Smith! 
 
 Somer. Mrs. Smith ! I detest her very name — I cannot endure the 
 sight of her ; and if I seemed to pay her any particular attention, it was 
 only to divert the thoughts of one who knows too well who is the object 
 of my affection. 
 
 Mrs. B. I really do not understand you, sir ! 
 
 Somer. The moments are preciou.^ — only say that some day you will 
 bless my vows — name some time when I may hope, and till then, give 
 me some slight token of one I lan never cease to love — promise me this, 
 sdorable woman ! 
 
 Broxon. Familiar raspal I 
 
 Smith. This is worse than what he said to Mrs. Smith. 
 
 Somer. What, silent ! dearest one ! then give me this bracelet, twined
 
 18 Mv neighbor's •wife. 
 
 around your arm. [takes I'-acdcl from her arm.'] 
 
 Mrs B. Oh ! pray givo it me back, [here Brown shakes his fiat at 
 her.'\ If niy husband were but to see it ! 
 
 Brnwn. He must be damned biind if he didn't ! 
 
 Somcr. Oh ! don't think of him — dear, kind creature ! give mei but 
 one kiss. 
 
 Mrs. B. Sir I really, sir — this audacity- 
 
 Somcr. There's no harm, dear, in a kiss, igives her several kisses, 
 against which she slightly struggles.'^ 
 
 Smith, [chuckling.] How they sound ! 
 
 Brown. The traitoress ! 
 
 Mrs.' B. [struggling with Somkrton.] Oh, if my husband were to 
 hear him. 
 
 Smith. He must be damned deaf if he don't. 
 
 [Mas. Brown gets away from him loith some difficulty, and runs into 
 the chamber, r, 1 e.] 
 
 Somcr. She is a charming creature ! and I decidedly give her the 
 preference. 
 
 iSmith. I'm glad of it — the scoundrel ! 
 
 Brown. Oh ! the blackguard ! 
 
 Somer. However, they are both derilish nice girls, and will answer 
 one's purpose very well to pass an hour or two with now and then-^ 
 altogether, we've had a delightful evening, and I must now go and put 
 by my pistols, which I had quite forgotten, [goes arid lakes pistols off thi 
 chair.} Oh, Mr. Smith, Mr. Brown ! — Mr. Brown, Mr. Smith, 1 strongly 
 suspect I shall give you both a violent headache ! 
 
 [Exit into closet, a I e. 
 
 BrovJti. [looking ffut.] Pheugh ! — where is he gone 1 
 
 Smith, [peeping on one .lide of the glass.} Hold your tongue ; there 
 he is with those damned pistols again. 
 
 Here Somerton closes xtp the window, goes toivards the door, n. 2 E., 
 poiiiting laughingly at the table, and exit. 
 
 Smith, [peeping out.] Brown I 
 
 Brown, [looking up.} Smith I 
 
 Smith. We are a pretty couple. 
 
 Brown. Very. Give me your hand, [they come out and embrace each 
 olhcr.} 
 
 Smith. Oh, Mr.s. Brown ! 
 
 Brown. Oh, Mrs. Smith I 
 
 Smith. Oh, that bracelet ! 
 
 Brown. Oh, that bouquet I 
 
 Brmcn. \ ^forcing a laugh.] Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Smith. It's exceedingly droll. 
 
 B'own. And extremely pleasant. 
 
 Smith. But I'll be revenged. Brown. 
 
 Brown. And so will I. Give me your hand ; we'll have a mutual al- 
 liance, and come to a determination to take ample revenge. 
 
 Smith. Let ub embrace again [fhey embrace.} Now, my mind'^j 
 made up,
 
 MY NKIGIIBOR S WIFE. 
 
 19 
 
 Brown. 1 was beginning to despair, but I'm nerved again — we'll treat 
 them exactly as they deserve. 
 
 iSrnith. The idea of mai<ing such a fuss, and talking of cutting our 
 throats, about one's wife's virtue. 
 
 Brown. Particularly when she hasn't got any. 
 
 Umilh. lyet us turn philosophers, Brown, and satisfy ourselves with 
 knowing that half the world are like ourselves. 
 
 Brown. To be sure. Besides, after all, it's a thing that if you dtm't 
 know, it's of no consequence ; and if you do you can't help yourself. 
 
 Smith. Hush ! they are coming back. 
 
 Brown. And our hiding places are cut off*. 
 
 Smith. Very true ; what is to be done 1 
 
 Brown. They are coming this way to a certainty. [Ac runs under the 
 dres-iing gown on the arm chair.} 
 
 Smith. Here they are, sure enough, [he runs under the uniform hang 
 ing on the ■portmanteau in the chair.] 
 
 Enter Sojierton, Mrs. Somerton, Mrs. Smith, and Mrs. Brown, at 
 door, K. 2 E. 
 
 Somer. And you reall)"- will go. then 1 
 
 Mrs. Soincr. Oh, pray, don't think of going yet. 
 
 Mrs. B. We really must — it's ten o'clock, and past. 
 
 Mrs. Sinith. And I really tremble for fear my husband should have 
 reached home. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. I rather think not. 
 
 Mrs. Smith. However, they both may be, and although they should 
 happen to be a little sulky, it is as well uot to displease them too much. 
 
 Somer. Now listen to me. If on your return your husbands should 
 pick a quarrel with you, I'll tell you both a way to make them silent. 
 
 M^'-f;, \ What is it l' 
 Mrs. Smith. 5 
 
 Somer. To tell them 
 
 ■ilr"' c ■ ■,; I [eagcrhj.-i Well, what ! 
 Mrs. Smith. J '- " -^ -^ 
 
 Sontcr. A circumstance that happened the other day to one of my 
 
 most intimate friends. 
 
 Mis. Somer. And to his wife 1 
 
 Somer. Yes Well, this friend had two neighbors — 
 
 Smith. Brown ! 
 
 Brown. Smith ! 
 
 Mrs. Soiner. Which neighbors had two wives. 
 
 ^/^' c' ,7 ^ Oh ! wives— well. 
 Jlrs. Smilh. ) 
 
 Somer. These two neighbors had a great desire to seduce the affec- 
 tion of my friend's wife. [All here are stlnit, ami paying deep attention, 
 
 Mrs. Somer. Which she immediately mentioned to her husband. 
 
 Somer. And he. bent on having his revenge on them, determined to 
 seduce the alfection of both their wives, in return. 
 
 Smith atid Brown. Oh ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Brown tool: runfiisedly at one another.
 
 20 MT neighbor's wife. 
 
 Somer. Yes ; and in concert with his wife, got jp a capital farc9 
 with the two ladies. He alternately made the most desperate love to 
 them, vowing eternal londness to one, and perpetual constancy to the 
 other ; and. in return for all his apparent devotion, he received from one, 
 in token of her regard, a beautiful bouquet. 
 
 Mrs. Sini/h. lAsiHc] A bouquet ! 
 
 Mrs. Sumcr. And from the other a What was it 1 Oh, I 
 
 remeinbei, a bracelet. 
 
 Mrs. B. [Aside.] A bracelet ! 
 
 Homer. But the most extraordinary part of the whole business wai — 
 that all this took place in the very presence of their husbands ! 
 
 Mrs. Smith. \\ hat 
 
 Mrs. B. In their presence 1 \_Looking anxiously round. 
 
 Somer. Yes, in the presence of the husbands, who dared not say a 
 word, because they were, in the first instance, the guilty party. 
 
 Smith. I'm all amazement ! 
 
 Brown. I'm worse than that — I don't know what I am ! 
 
 Mrs. B. Perhaps these two ladies were not quite as culpable as you 
 represent them, Mr. Somerton 1 
 
 Somer. Undoubtedly not ; for I ought to add, to their honor and cre- 
 dit, that they were in the secret, and only assisted the scheme to teaze 
 their husbands. [To Mes. Someuton.] "We may as well give them the 
 benefit of this lie, my dear, to prevent any further mischief between 
 them and their husbands. 
 
 3Irs. Somer. Oh, to be sure — to be sure. [^To Mrs. Smith and /oMits. 
 Brown.] Oh, yes, it was only a neighbor's frolic — a game of tit-for-tat, 
 very cleverly played. 
 
 [.Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Brown appear to recover a little. 
 
 Smith. Is it possible 1 
 
 Brown. I breathe again. 
 
 Mrs. Snmer. And the matter ended in the two husbands coming from 
 their hiding places, failing on their knees, and asking pardon of their 
 wives for all their transgressions. 
 
 [S.MITH and Brown, who have now partially quitted the back, advance^ 
 
 and fall on their knees on each side. 
 
 Mrs. B. What do I see ? Mr. Brown 1 
 
 Mrs. Smith. And Mr. Smith ! I shall faint. 
 
 Smith, (r.) Pardon, pardon, my love, for all my little offences. 
 
 Brown, (i..) And pardon, Mrs. Brown, for all my piccadilloes. 
 
 Jfis. Bnncn. The forgiveness should be mutual — we have both been 
 a little to blame ; but as no harm has arisen out of it, why, come to my 
 arms, my dear Timothy ! 
 . Mri. Smith. Ditto, ditto, my dear Jonathan. 
 
 Somer. This is the exact termination of my friend's adventure ; he 
 gave back to each lady her respective property — to one the bouquet, 
 and to the other the bracelet, [here Sombrton presents the one to Mrs. 
 Smith, the other to Mrs. Brown,] and heartily forgave his two neigh- 
 bors for the folly of attempting to make love to his wife. 
 
 Mrs. Somer. .\nd all parties being reconciled, they finally agreed to
 
 MY MCIGHBOR'ti WIFK. 21 
 
 confine their devotions to their own liresides, and never, for the fatur* 
 to interfere with Tbeib Nkiohbor's Wifk. 
 
 Smith, Brown 1 
 
 Broum. Smith I 
 
 Smith. Will you everl 
 
 Brown. No, I'll never, 
 
 Mk. Sou£rto:<. Mks. Somebto:;. 
 
 c. 
 
 ICft. Smith. Mrc. Smith. Mb. fiRow;*. Mrs. Bkowv 
 
 
 
 CURTAIN
 
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