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THE LIBRARY 
 OF 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 PROF. CHARLES A. KOFOID AND 
 MRS. PRUDENCE W.KOFOID 
 
■*"<? , 
 
 SCKIBBLINGS AND SKETCHES, 
 
 IPLOMATIC, PISCATORY, AND OCEANIC. 
 
 BY 
 
 A FISHER IN SMALL STREAMS. 
 
 SECOND EDITION. WITH ADDITIONS. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 C. SHERMAN, PRINTER, 
 
 ST. JAMES STREET. 
 
 1844. 
 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1844, 
 
 BY C. SHERMAN, 
 
 in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Eastern District of 
 Pennsylvania. 
 
W 
 
 TO 
 
 •OS MOST CELESTIAL MAJESTY KIANG-FOO, 
 
 EMPEROR OF CHINA, 
 AND BROTHER TO THE SUN AND MOON. 
 
 :eply sensible of the favours it has pleased your 
 ■rtial Majesty at divers and sundry times to bestow, 
 and grateful for the distinguished facilities afforded me 
 in the early publication of some of your mighty procla- 
 ims — with all respect, I dedicate the following pages 
 to your Imperial Majesty. 
 
 io so, with a belief, that your Serenity will not only 
 be amused by them at your autumnal palace of Yuen- 
 min-Yuen, upon the banks of the sparkling Taie-ho; 
 but that they will give your Majesty some insight into 
 the mysteries of barbaric diplomacy, which, it has 
 pleased your Majesty privately to inform me, owing to 
 some late incidents, you were anxious to comprehend, 
 mgst so many sovereigns, to be selected by your 
 Imperial Majesty as worthy of your confidence, I esteem 
 a most signal mark of favour; and with no disposition 
 verrate my literary effusions, yet I feel confident 
 youi; Majesty will derive quite as much instruction, if 
 not more, than any other reader from my little volume. 
 
 m3?0?28 
 
IV DEDICATION. 
 
 If it should please your Celestial Highness to be fond 
 of fishing, the letters of Isaac Walton, Jr., are most 
 particularly recommended to your notice. They pre- 
 tend to no literary merit, but are the effusions of a 
 plain man, in character with his life and the primitive 
 simplicity of his peaceful sport. 
 
 The immortal Confucius has declared, that 
 
 Hong-hse chulan-tee to war ti bung, 
 Con owhar spung ti nittle colee tung. 
 
 " Patience and perseverance are cardinal virtues, and 
 without which, man cannot hope for success in life." 
 Isaac affords some striking and practical illustrations 
 of the truth of the precept, which may be useful to your 
 sedentary subjects, and perhaps salutary in their effects 
 upon those of a more roving and unquiet disposition. 
 
 Seldom aspiring beyond a glorious nibble, his perse- 
 verance has been rewarded in having caught the atten- 
 tion of an emperor. 
 
 " To catch a Tartar," has not heretofore been 
 esteemed a desirable event or one to boast of; but we 
 apprehend the world will concede the present instance 
 to be a brilliant exception. 
 
 The immeasurable distance between your Majesty's 
 golden throne, and the " Fisher in Small Streams," 
 affords him but a telescopic view of your magnificence, 
 warmed, however, and cherished by those mitigated 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 beams into an ephemeral and fluttering existence with- 
 out the danger of being singed by the intolerable efful- 
 gence. It is, therefore, a subject more for congratula- 
 tion than regret ; though prevented the honour of per- 
 sonally bumping his head at your Imperial footstool 
 according to the ceremony of the Ko-leou. A ceremony 
 founded upon principles of the profoundest wisdom, and 
 which should be strictly enforced upon every candi- 
 date for literary favour, more especially in my country, 
 where the brain is supposed to be the seat of intelligence, 
 and the capability of the author might quickly be ascer- 
 tained by the peculiar sound of his skull when perform- 
 ing these prostrations. The Chinese theory, however, 
 that the stomach is the seat of the soul, is plausible, more 
 especially as most of our distinguished literary men 
 have no stomachs to brag of, wasted perhaps by their 
 untiring exertions. With the passing remark, that 
 amongst Barbarians there is a sort of abstract Kiang- 
 Foo, called public opinion, at which authors great and 
 small must all bow, and before which the subscriber 
 prostrates himself with great humility for want of a 
 better, he remains with high consideration and respect, 
 your Majesty's friend, co-sovereign and servant. 
 
 A Fisher in Small Streams. 
 
PEEFACE. 
 
 It will be perceived that I have dedicated this little 
 work to the Emperor of China, — and in selecting that 
 distinguished individual, I have been impelled by many 
 wise and discreet considerations. Some may possibly 
 deem the selection an ostentatious one, a wish upon my 
 part to publish to the world my intimacy and friendship 
 with that august personage. But I most unequivocally 
 deny any such motives. The Emperor has been in- 
 formed that we are a community of sovereigns, that 
 a private station is the post of honour, and that we 
 hire individuals to perform subordinate stations, such as 
 Presidents, Secretaries, and the like, with the privilege 
 of abusing them. He therefore, has been pleased to 
 consider me upon an equality with him in every respect, 
 having first assured him, not only that I held no office, 
 but had no expectation of receiving one. It has also, 
 I am sorry to say, been intimated that I am actuated by 
 mercenary motives, with an eye to a cumshaw or pre- 
 sent from the Emperor, for the honour done him. The 
 cumshaw svstem is not a bad one, but I disclaim any 
 
V1U PREFACE. 
 
 such intentions. Though if the Emperor were to send 
 me a very handsome present, in the shape of tea, silks, 
 or even crockery, I frankly confess I should feel myself 
 bound to accept it. But literary men so seldom receive 
 any thing but hard rubs, that I am afraid these declara- 
 tions are very idle and superfluous. Indeed, gentle 
 reader, I am perfectly content to receive no other re- 
 ward for my humble labours, than your attention, and 
 your good-will. 
 
 The Author. 
 
SKETCHES 
 
 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 
 
 " To ride the cloud-aspiring waves, 
 And hear amid the rending tackle's roar 
 The spirit of an equinoctial gale." 
 
 Tobin. 
 
 " The dreadful spout 
 Which shipmen do the Hurricano call, 
 Constring'd in mass by th' almighty sun, 
 Dizzies with clamour Neptune's watery ear." 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 The town of Trinidad, upon the south side of the 
 island of Cuba, presents a very picturesque appearance 
 from the sea. The dark blue mountains of St. Juan, 
 rising to the height of three thousand feet, form the back- 
 ground of the picture, throwing the town into fine relief 
 with its white walls and turrets. At a distance, it 
 appears like a white blur upon the mountain-side. In 
 any other region than the tropics it might, at first glance, 
 be mistaken for a drift of snow, or a cloud resting upon 
 the dark mountain's side, but the one is as impossible as 
 the other, for, during the dry season, from October till 
 April, not even a wreath of mist floats in the pure ether 
 by day, or dims the brilliancy of the spangled blue of 
 night. Gradually from this white obscure are shadowed 
 
 2 
 
12 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 
 
 very moment turning over in his mind the probable 
 chances of success for a dinner, already having failed in 
 procuring a breakfast. The light blue eye, fair hair, and 
 ruddy complexion disclosed at a glance his Anglo-Saxon 
 blood ; and as he gazed at the dark-eyed sun-burnt fea- 
 tures that surrounded him, there was an expression which 
 seemed to say — " Let it blow the whole island over to 
 Africa for aught I care: I have neither kith nor kin 
 here, and am as penniless as a Spanish beggar." Some- 
 thing out of the common order of events appeared to 
 animate the group; some were collected together apart, 
 in earnest conversation ; others were mounting horses 
 and scampering off to the Casilda, whilst a party upon 
 the house-top were gazing through spy-glasses at the 
 sea. The youth, before described, inquired of an indi- 
 vidual who had just come down, and who closed his 
 glass with a snap that shattered the instrument, exclaim- 
 ing at the same time, " Caraho, she's gone !" — 
 
 " What is the matter, Senor ? there seems to be a 
 screw out of place somewhere : what is it 1" 
 
 "Why, Senor Americano, mio, there is a barque 
 outside there, in which we are all interested — a good 
 half million of freight, — that is likely to be swamped by 
 this infernal hurricane, or nabbed by John Bull, that's 
 all." 
 
 The youth spoken to, mounted the steps and was 
 quickly upon the parapet. Almost all the houses of 
 Trinidad are constructed with flat roofs, with a parapet 
 about three feet high, for the purpose of catching rain 
 water during the wet season. 
 
 Upon reaching the parapet, he was astonished at the 
 sudden change from a breathless calm to a furious gale 
 
A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 13 
 
 with every premonition of one of those terrible hurri- 
 canes that sometimes, in a single hour, lav waste whole 
 districts. The inhabitants were hurrying to shelter in 
 the greatest trepidation, closing their shops and barri- 
 cading their doors and windows — the streets were 
 already strewed with fragments of roofs and broken 
 tiles torn from their fastenings by the first fury of the 
 blast. The vultures, those licensed scavengers of every 
 West India town, at all hours of the day, skimming over 
 the tops of houses, or soaring to a great height in gigantic 
 circles, were now crouching beneath the parapets, and 
 the atmosphere was filled with flocks of screaming sea 
 gulls, driven from their habitations upon the coasts and 
 numerous islands, by the irresistible fury of the wind. 
 
 A drift, like smoke, rolled over the ocean and spread 
 across the land to the foot of the mountain. At intervals, 
 the surface of the sea, to the utmost limits of the wide 
 extended horizon, w 7 as distinctly visible, lashed into a 
 foam, and whirled aloft in wreaths of spray from the 
 tops of the curling waves. 
 
 Two vessels w T ere distinctly seen, scudding before the 
 wind under close-reefed topsails. Onward they both 
 came with the speed of race-horses, the one further sea- 
 ward, from the cut of her canvass and squareness of 
 yards, evidently a man-of-war, in full chase. As she 
 rose upon a swell, her long dark hull and line of ports 
 were visible ; from the bow T at the same moment issued 
 a volume of smoke, which as suddenly was swept away 
 by the wind, and mingled with the floating spray and 
 haze, and ere the sound of the cannon had reached the 
 shores, (in low, suppressed murmurs,) the Spanish barque 
 had rounded Cayo Blanco, dropped her anchors, and 
 
14 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 
 
 swung round to the wind. The man-of-war came 
 dashing in after, under bare poles, her close-reefed 
 foresail but a few moments before having been blown 
 clean out of the bolt-ropes, and whirled off to leeward, 
 twisting and twirling about until it w T as lost in the haze 
 that covered every thing with an impenetrable veil ; but 
 ere the two vessels were closed from view, it was 
 evident that the man-of-war had passed close under the 
 stern of the slaver, and was riding upon the swell with 
 four anchors ahead. 
 
 The gale now had increased almost to a hurricane. 
 It was with difficulty the youth could maintain his posi- 
 tion upon the parapet ; he therefore went down to the 
 store and mingled with the anxious group collected there. 
 
 It was conceded by all, that the Esperanza, for such 
 was the name of the slaver, was a gone case. If she rode 
 out the gale, which was very improbable, the Stag, a 
 well-known British cruiser, would certainly capture her; 
 and if the hurricane increased, as there was every like- 
 lihood, both vessels must be wrecked, with the chance 
 of all hands perishing. 
 
 One said, he would sell his interest for fifty ounces ;* 
 another, for five hundred : all appearing to think the 
 chances so perfectly desperate, as scarcely worth an 
 hour's purchase. The hero of our story listened to every 
 thing with the deepest interest ; at last he stepped boldly up 
 to one of the gentlemen and said : 
 
 " Come, sir, what did you say you would take for 
 your interest in that ship V 9 . 
 
 " I'll take five hundred ounces, and that's selling what, 
 
 * An ounce, or gold doubloon, about sixteen dollars. 
 
A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 15 
 
 if all had gone right, would fetch at the Baracoon this 
 day, fifty thousand dollars." 
 
 " Yes," replied the stranger, " but she will never come 
 ashore except in pieces. Look at that ! — there goes the 
 roof off of Don Vincente's house, as clean as a whistle. 
 The hurricane is up — it will tear that ship to pieces in 
 less than an hour. I'll give you one hundred ounces for 
 your share, and take my chance." 
 
 " Paga ! it's a bargain !" cried the Spaniard. " John 
 Bull has got her, I believe, already. La Esperanza must 
 have drifted down upon him ere this." 
 
 Seven or eight shares were purchased upon the spot, 
 and a bargain made with the others, — who appeared to 
 view our friend in no other light than a madman, — that if 
 he saved the ship and cargo, he was to receive twenty- 
 five per cent, upon the gross amount. 
 
 No sooner was the negotiation concluded, and the 
 writings, which were hastily drawn, safely deposited in his 
 pocket, than he bounded forth into the storm, with a cry 
 of " A dios senores!" and was lost in the gloom which 
 shrouded every thing without. 
 
 Onward he dashed, reckless of the thousand dangers 
 that threatened to annihilate him at every step, from 
 showers of tiles and broken parapets hurled at his feet by 
 the wind, which, though not yet at its height, was howl- 
 ing above his head with great fury, occasionally licking 
 up the dust and pebbles in whirling eddies, and then 
 spattering it into his face with such force, as not only to 
 blind, but for a time to cause him to reel and stagger. 
 
 A brave man might well have cowered beneath that 
 blast— but our youth, with a spirit of the highest order, 
 and a consciousness of his own merits, had felt, deeply 
 
16 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 
 
 felt, the pangs of a crushing poverty. Here was a 
 chance — a terrible one, to be sure; if he failed, it would 
 be death in the excitement of battle; if he succeeded, 
 a double reward awaited him, — a magnificent fortune, 
 and the preservation of the lives of a thousand helpless 
 beings. 
 
 Upon emerging from the town, the road lay before 
 him in almost a straight line, for three miles, to the little 
 village of Casilda. From this point, on a clear day, 
 the eye can embrace a view of two hundred miles of sea, 
 from north to south ; but now, the road upon which he 
 was ploughing his way, was scarcely discernible twenty 
 yards ahead. Onward he laboured, occasionally, when 
 the blast with uncommon fury swept across his path, 
 seeking a temporary shelter beneath the hedges formed 
 by the prickly pear and wild pine apple — beneath whose 
 interwoven branches clattered thousands of land-crabs, 
 on their way to the sea from the mountains. An army 
 of these creatures crossed his path ; regardless of the 
 countless uplifted hands from this strange multitude, he 
 crashed through the array, kicking from his feet some 
 half dozen, that had fastened upon his legs with their long 
 pincering claws. 
 
 The sea was swollen far beyond its natural bounda- 
 ries. The streets of the village were overflowed, and 
 where, but a few hours before, the gay volante had 
 whirled up the dust upon a sandy road, now were 
 covered with boats adrift, floating logs, casks and mer- 
 chandise of every description. 
 
 Every minute marked a sensible increase of the power 
 of the wind ; occasionally, vast bodies of water were 
 
A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 17 
 
 scooped up by the mighty hand of the tempest and 
 crushed into vapour, or fell far from where they had been 
 torn, in showers of brine. The foam of the sea floated 
 over head like flakes of snow. The incessant roll of 
 tropical thunder, heaven's heaviest artillery, reverbe- 
 rated from the mountain's base, and was mingled with 
 the roar of the wind and surf, which pealed upon the 
 shores of the neighbouring islands, occasionally flashing 
 up through the thick haze, pyramids of foam and spray. 
 
 After wading and floundering through ponds of water, 
 under the lee of a large store, he encountered a fisher- 
 man by the name of Antonio, a hardy fellow, one of the 
 best pilots of the port. To him he immediately made 
 known his intention, and offered him a thousand dollars 
 if he would accompany him with his boat on board the 
 slaver. 
 
 "Why, Senor," said Antonio, " you must be mad. We 
 should be swamped, for a dead certainty ; and what good 
 could we do, suppose we reached her V 
 
 " I'll make your fortune !" was the prompt reply. 
 " Does she still hold on ?" 
 
 " Si, Senor." 
 
 " And how's the cruiser ?" 
 
 " Oh, tight enough — with four anchors out — two chain 
 cables. She'll founder at her anchors, if this gale in- 
 creases." 
 
 " We can paddle under the lee of the mangrove bushes 
 of the strip of land over the other side of the harbour, 
 till we come to the fort, then before the wind, you pull- 
 ing, I bailing, in three minutes we can fetch the slaver ; 
 once on board I'll show you we can save her." 
 
 Still Antonio doubted, wavered ; all the eloquence of 
 
18 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 
 
 argument, and stout assurances, with scorn of danger, 
 appeared not in the least to stagger his determination to 
 decline the perilous adventure. 
 
 " Lend me your boat, then. By Heaven ! I'll go alone ; 
 and when I meet you to-morrow, with five thousand 
 Spanish doubloons in my chest, you'll curse yourself for 
 not having had the courage to follow." 
 
 " Stop one moment. How much say you V 
 
 At that instant a crash of thunder made the earth 
 tremble beneath their feet, accompanied by a flash that 
 pierced through the gloom, illuminating every object 
 with a lurid glare, the foam flakes sailing through the 
 air like myriads of floating brands of fire ; at the same 
 instant a transient glance was caught of the two vessels, 
 reeling and plunging at their anchors. 
 
 " Two thousand doubloons !" cried the indomitable 
 stranger, in a voice clear as a trumpet, every word dis- 
 tinctly heard by Antonio, above the roar of the elements. 
 
 " Agreed — come on !" and they jumped into the boat, 
 Antonio exclaiming at the same time, " Another such 
 a clap of thunder as that, and good-bye hurricane."* 
 
 After great difficulty, and the escape from many 
 dreadful blasts, they succeeded in reaching the opposite 
 shore ; but the sea made a clear breach across the strip 
 of land, and though broken by the mangrove bushes, yet 
 the surge rolled over into the harbour with terrible force. 
 The boat was light, and pulled by vigorous and skilful 
 hands ; in a short time they reached the deserted fort, 
 under the lee of which they rested for a few moments, 
 and braced their nerves for the great struggle, when they 
 
 * The invariable indication of a clearing off. 
 
A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 19 
 
 should be exposed to the full fury of the wind and waves, 
 the frail bark being as yet protected by the land under 
 which they had for an hour laboured their perilous pas- 
 sage. Antonio ejaculated a short prayer, crossed him- 
 self very devoutly some half dozen times, then seizing 
 the oars, cried out — 
 
 " Here goes. We can't miss her. She lies dead to 
 leeward of that reef." 
 
 The boat shot forth from her cover, and was imme- 
 diately whirled round by the wind, one of the oars 
 escaping from his hand ; it was caught in a minute by 
 his companion, ere the rower had time to utter the cry 
 of terror the accident occasioned. 
 
 The sea was like a turbulent field of snow ; the spray 
 flew past them with terrible velocity— a single wave, ere 
 it could lift its head on high, was cut off into foam, and 
 mist and smoke ; with the speed of an arrow shot from 
 a bow, did they skim and gurr through the water. When 
 the American cried out, " Starboard oar — hard a star- 
 board," it was promptly obeyed, and the bark swirled 
 round the stern of the slaver, and as she touched her dark 
 hull, the adventurers seized the mizen chains, and in 
 less time than we have taken to describe it, w T ere safely 
 upon the deck : the boat being swamped beneath the gun- 
 wales of the ship as she rolled to leeward. 
 
 The storm was now at its height — the captain was 
 upon his knees crossing himself, and crying out to that 
 God for mercy, whose divine precepts he had forgotten, 
 when he entered into the dreadful traffic of his fellow- 
 men. 
 
 At every plunge of the vessel, the water poured over 
 her bows and deluged the decks. From the bosom of 
 
20 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 
 
 the labouring craft issued a yell of mingled agony and 
 terror, from eight hundred souls confined below, which 
 mingled with the blast, and must have been heard far 
 
 o 
 
 inland by the distant Aldeano* who might fancy that a 
 thousand fiends were shrieking in the elemental strife 
 above. 
 
 " Where's your axe ? — give it me ! Antonio take ano- 
 ther. Where is the cruiser? I see her — we can clear 
 her. Hard a port your helm. All hands run up the 
 fore-topmast stay-sail— cut !" rapidly uttered the daunt- 
 less youth. 
 
 The cables were severed at a blow, the sail burst from 
 the bolt-ropes, the ship rose upon a roller crested with 
 foam, careened round before the blast, and under the 
 impulse of the hurricane, dashed madly towards the 
 shore, passing the cruiser like a phantom, and disappear- 
 ing amidst the haze and drift and surf; — in a moment 
 after she struck. A tremendous roller lifted her again 
 from the ground, and after several successive shocks, she 
 plunged into comparatively smooth water. 
 
 The next morning the Esperanza lay high and dry a 
 half mile from the shore, and landed her cargo in safety. 
 And before night the bold and penniless adventurer was 
 in possession of one hundred thousand dollars — his well- 
 earned share of a cargo, valued at that time, at nearly 
 four hundred thousand dollars; whilst the British cruiser 
 was content to weigh anchor and renew his honourable 
 efforts against a trade now almost universally denounced 
 the worst of piracy. 
 
 The hero of our sketch has since acquired great 
 
 * Cottager. 
 
A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 21 
 
 wealth, and possesses an income of some two hundred 
 thousand dollars per annum, and is a Grandee of Spain, 
 with several titles of distinction. 
 
 It is nearly forty years since this incident occurred. 
 He still enjoys excellent health, and in the conduct of 
 his affairs is distinguished for that energy which marked 
 his first career — as well as for every other quality that 
 can adorn the character of a gentleman. 
 
 So much for making the best of a chance ; the first 
 instance, we suppose, of doubloons being coined out of a 
 hurricane, 
 
A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 
 
 Oh ! place him on the shore— that grave will be 
 Fit resting-place for him who loved the sea ; 
 And let the surges make their ceaseless moan, 
 Where lies the stranger, tombless and alone." 
 
 Anon. 
 
 The shades of night were thickening round the foot 
 of the mountain, whilst the hill-tops were yet gilded by 
 the last rays of the setting sun, whose broad disk was 
 slowly sinking into the bosom of the Caribbean sea. 
 
 The twinkling stars of a tropical twilight already 
 gemmed the firmament. 
 
 Like a jewelled coronet, the departing luminary for a 
 moment glowed upon the dark waters of the horizon, 
 and then disappeared beneath the wave. As yet, his 
 beams, unquenched, streamed forth from that bright 
 pavilion to the zenith, and spread a golden mantle over 
 the quiet landscape. The purple mountain and the dis- 
 tant cape were seen through a beautiful thin mist of 
 powdered gold. That breeze which had waved all day 
 the branches of the cocoa, and graceful palm, and ruffled 
 the sea into innumerable white caps, had died away. 
 Not a leaf rustled upon the mountain's side, or stirred 
 the lono; rank sjrass of the savanna. The bav was like 
 a polished mirror, distinctly reflecting the inverted images 
 of the numerous craft that reposed upon its glassy sur- 
 
A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 23 
 
 face, occasionally rimpled into feathery streaks by the 
 breath of a loitering zephyr, unwilling to abandon the 
 shores now redolent of the perfume of flowers and a 
 luxuriant vegetation. 
 
 In the shadowy places, the Cuculla* was trimming his 
 evening lamp, and sparkled upon the bushes or streamed 
 through the air his phosphorescent light. So profound 
 was the calm, that from a distance through the dewy 
 air, peopled with myriads of humming insects, pierced 
 the silvery tones of the evening trumpet of the cavalry 
 guard, and was heard the tinkling bells of a cavalcade 
 of mules descending the mountain pass, mingled with 
 the solemn, melancholy and wild chorus of the African 
 at the Baracoon.f 
 
 It is difficult to analyse the feelings inspired by such 
 a scene. The prevailing sentiment is sadness, mingled 
 with admiration of the works of Him *• who spreadeth 
 out the heavens, and treadeth upon the waves of the sea," 
 and wonder and delight at the various and sublime trans- 
 formations of lights and shadows. These feelings are ex- 
 perienced in every clime, whether the orb be dimmed in his 
 parting glory by northern mists, or " sinking in one un- 
 clouded blaze of living light" into the golden mirror of a 
 tropical sea. 
 
 * Cuculla — The light emitted by this curious beetle is so strong, that 
 by the united glare of two or three you can read quite a small print. In 
 the dark nights, a bush or tree covered with them, appears to be illu- 
 minated with innumerable small tapers. The Spanish ladies adorn their 
 hair, and make bracelets and zones of them, which have a beautiful and 
 striking effect. 
 
 t Baracoon — The place where the slaves are deposited soon after their 
 arrival. At sunset they join in a wild monotonous song, keeping time 
 by clapping the hands together. In the stillness of the evening, this 
 melancholy chant can be heard at a great distance. 
 
24 A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 
 
 And now every sound had ceased ; a deathlike silence 
 prevailed, interrupted at intervals by the distant baying 
 of the Spanish watch-dog,* and the first breath of the 
 terra!,] which sighed through the quivering reeds and 
 trembling leaves of the palmetto. Suddenly the silence 
 was broken by the tones of a clear voice, saying — 
 
 " Man that is born of woman has but a short time to 
 live, and is full of misery. He cometh up and is cut 
 
 down like a flower. He fleeth, as it were, a shadow 
 
 In the midst of life we are in death" 
 
 When a gust from the mountain swept over the plain. 
 The gigantic palm bowed his head to the mournful night- 
 breeze, which passed away upon its" invisible path to the 
 sea. And again all was still and silent, and the same 
 clear voice continued — " Ashes to ashes — dust to dust — 
 looking for the general resurrection in the last day, when 
 the earth and sea shall give up their dead." — 
 
 It was the Episcopal burial service. Every word 
 tolled upon the air with startling precision. It was like 
 the voice of a monitory spirit. The profound silence — 
 
 * The Spanish watch-dog — Now the noisiest animal in creation ; but 
 originally remarkable for a rare canine virtue, silence. This peculiarity 
 of the aboriginal dogs of Cuba, is mentioned more than once by Colum- 
 bus, in his Journal, and by the Pilot Oviedo — " hay muchos perros en 
 estos payses que nunca ladran" — there are many dogs in this country 
 that never bark. In a subsequent passage of the same rare and costly 
 work, published at Havanna in 1835, it is said, " that a European dog 
 was left upon the island. Upon the return of Bartholomew Columbus 
 from the Southern Continent, they were not a little astonished to find 
 that the distinguished stranger had taught the native Cuban dogs to 
 bark most furiously." We leave the naturalists to draw the proper in- 
 ferences from this curious fact. We can only say, that it is a great pity 
 the aboriginal stock had not been preserved untainted by the vices of the 
 European. 
 
 t The terral, — or land-breeze — which sets in after sunset. 
 
A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 25 
 
 the hour — the scene — all conspired to make it solemn 
 and impressive. 
 
 Upon the sea shore, within fifty yards of the surf that 
 rippled upon the beach in low murmurs, like a dirge for 
 the departed, a group of foreigners were collected round 
 a rude grave scooped into the sand. The American flag, 
 which had served as a pall, lay at the feet of the consul. 
 At a given signal, the grave was carefully filled. For 
 one moment the little crowd remained silent and un- 
 covered, and then slowly left the remains of their late 
 companion to repose in his humble grave, within sight 
 and sound of that element he loved in life. 
 
 Under any circumstances, the solemn simplicity of 
 that service is impressive. But there, upon that foreign 
 Catholic shore,* where the " churlish priest" denied to 
 the Protestant Christian the poor privilege of being 
 buried in consecrated ground — where bigotry, prejudice 
 and ignorance are as intolerable as the heat of the mid- 
 day sun, without its light — the incident was strange and 
 impressive beyond description. 
 
 Of all that attended the humble obsequies of the poor 
 American sailor, not one will ever forget that twilight 
 funeral by the sea-side. 
 
 * Catholic shore — There is no intention hereto cast an aspersion upon 
 the Roman Catholic religion. Bigotry and prejudice are not the exclusive 
 properties of a Catholic shore. But local, and to censure the " churlish 
 priest" who, in this instance, was as intolerant as ignorant. The Spanish 
 priest of Cuba is a different being from the enlightened Roman Catholic 
 of the Free States. 
 
 3 
 
THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 
 
 My parents were respectable hard-working people — 
 myself their only son. In an evil hour my poor father 
 became convinced that his son Hiram Hock was born 
 to be a great man. After mature deliberation and many 
 misgivings, and doubtful shakes of the head by my kind 
 and affectionate mother, it was finally decided that I 
 should study the law. At the age of seventeen, there- 
 fore, I commenced curving my spine upon a hard chair, 
 with my heels upon the mantel-piece in winter, and the 
 window-sill in summer, perusing at intervals the lyrical 
 effusions of the gay and witty Coke, the facetious Fearne, 
 the romantic Blackstone, and the irresistible and inex- 
 haustible Chitty, that Beranger of the law. 
 
 At the expiration of four years, with a stomach shri- 
 velled up like parchment, weak eyes, and a confused 
 notion of ten thousand conflicting principles associated 
 with books bound in yellow calf-skin, I was presented 
 by my preceptor with a diploma for starvation. 
 
 That worthy individual in spectacles I shall never for- 
 get : he was what is called "a thorough-bred lawyer." 
 As a practitioner and special pleader, he was eminently 
 renowned, and at the age of seventy-three, had acquired 
 not only a subsistence, but some thought even a suffi- 
 ciency in case of his demise, to prevent his widow from 
 keeping a boarding-house. 
 
THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 27 
 
 All his actions were squared by rules of law, and the 
 principles of his science. In his intercourse with man- 
 kind, he conceived the first duty to pay a fee ; any de- 
 reliction from this important ceremony was a crime 
 equivalent to high treason. 
 
 Several rules had been served upon him at different 
 times, and notices to quit this transitory life, in the shape 
 of blindness, deafness and temporary paralysis ; but he 
 still remained firm at his vocation, and not in the slight- 
 est degree intimidated by the severity of the attacks. 
 By means of an antiquated process familiar to himself, 
 but utterly unknown to the medical faculty, termed "the 
 suffering a common recovery," — he was again absorbed 
 in the studies of his captivating science, never inter- 
 mitted except to receive the " honorarium," all other lite- 
 rature in his estimation being not worth the snap of aft. fa. 
 
 For nearly half a century this worthy gentleman had 
 been seated upon an arm-chair adorned with a leathern 
 cushion, of which there was a faint tradition, that it once 
 had been stuffed with hair, but now as flat as a pancake, 
 and as totally destitute of that excrescence as the shining 
 bald pate of the distinguished sedentary. Empires had 
 been overthrown by terrible revolutions ; moral and po- 
 litical changes had occurred unnoticed by this excellent 
 man. An occasional innovation upon the revered com- 
 mon law, would sensibly affect, his usual equanimity, and 
 it is reported that it was several days before he could 
 recover from the shock occasioned by the passage of a 
 law, permitting a writ of partition to be sued out by the 
 remainder man in fee, before the death of the tenant for 
 life.* 
 
 * See Laws of Pennsylvania. 
 
28 THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 
 
 He was just in all his dealings and strictly pious in all 
 his thoughts and actions. Conscious of a vested remain- 
 der in the future, dependent upon a particular prior estate 
 created at the same time, and by the same instrument, 
 (Co. Lit. 49, a,) coupled with the comfortable assurance 
 of an equity of redemption as first decided in the case of 
 Pulk vs. Clinton, 12 Fez. 59, his mind was perfectly 
 prepared and tranquil upon all spiritual matters. And 
 yet he had his bar jokes, and reminiscences of ancient 
 jests served upon a brother long since gone to final judg- 
 ment ; and on motion days, would wrinkle up his sedate 
 countenance into something that faintly resembled a 
 smile, when reminded of these traditionary jeux d? esprit 
 by a facetious judge, who had just received his quarter's 
 salary. 
 
 Under the auspices of this worthy personage, I nailed 
 a piece of tin upon the front window-shutter of a small 
 room, in the noisiest and most disagreeable part of the 
 town, and with heroic patience, for many a long month 
 bode my time. I will pass over that weary interval. 
 How often did I determine to abandon the profession and 
 plunge into the active business of life, but habits acquired 
 during my preparation for practice, with an entire sepa- 
 ration from men of business, had utterly unfitted me now 
 for any other pursuit: I was chained to the oar — the die 
 was cast. O that I had only had the courage to throw 
 aside those hateful books, and seize hold of the honest 
 calling of my poor father — who was an eminent little 
 calf-butcher! 
 
 An opportunity at last occurred ; a client with lingering 
 steps and slow, absolutely engaged my services to defend 
 his cause in the Criminal Court. Why this infatuated 
 
THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TVRO. 29 
 
 individual appealed to me in preference to five hundred 
 others, it was impossible to imagine. Afterwards it 
 came to my knowledge, that he had applied to several 
 for professional aid, but vainly, not having it in his power 
 to perform that very important ceremony so agreeable 
 to my venerable preceptor, and without which, it was 
 impossible to comprehend the plainest proposition, but 
 the moment it was pocketed, every thing was as clear 
 to his perception as the noon-day sun — by the bye the 
 only figure he ever indulged in, with the exception of 
 one other, with which he concluded an argument to his 
 own mind perfectly irresistible, that " there was not a 
 loop to hang a doubt upon." 
 
 Without any fee or reward, vested or contingent, be- 
 hold me preparing for the trial of this mighty cause. As 
 I passed through the streets on my way to the court 
 house, I was impressed with the idea that the whole 
 w 7 orld was gazing upon me. Caesar's procession to the 
 Capitol was nothing to the heavy forebodings that shook 
 my frame. Upon taking my seat within the bar, in vain 
 did I assume an air of affected indifference ; my heart 
 beat almost to bursting ; my mind became confused ; all 
 the blood in my body had rushed to the inmost recesses 
 of my heart, leaving my face pale and clammy as a cold 
 muffin. I felt very ill, and once or twice was upon the 
 point of retiring under a sudden indisposition. I was 
 awakened from this general paralysis by an appeal from 
 one of the judges, of " Go on, sir, with your case !" 
 
 My professional opponent, in manner, spirit and action, 
 formed a strange contrast to myself. He was a petti- 
 fogger in the most unqualified sense of the word : un- 
 educated, scarcely able to articulate three words of 
 
30 THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 
 
 English correctly, and with about as much knowledge 
 of the principles of the science as a Hottentot or Sibe- 
 rian Cossack, yet bold, forward, conceited, and impudent, 
 past all belief. 
 
 The swaggering air with which this gentleman of the 
 bar — once a sailor, now twisted into a land-shark, — con- 
 fronted a timid witness, elicited great applause from the 
 spectators, and one or two roaring speeches with violent 
 gesticulations and divers appeals to the fearless integrity 
 of his own conduct, so overcame the sympathies of the 
 tipstaves and the court-loungers, that every oyster-house 
 resounded with his praise. Independent of these pro- 
 fessional excellencies, he was a pot-house politician of 
 great renown ; between him and the judge therefore 
 there existed a kindred sympathy of feeling, the latter 
 having arrived at that eminent station by reason of the 
 same meritorious services. 
 
 Diffident of my own abilities, fearful of the sound of 
 my own voice, and embarrassed by the manners of the 
 judge, who was rollicking back in an arm-chair, with 
 his hand before his mouth, sliding something into the ear 
 of his associate, which appeared to me a jest upon my 
 person, or some stale joke entirely unconnected with the 
 administration of justice — the curious enunciating in a 
 bold confident manner of what my opponent, the sea- 
 attorney, asserted to be law, and which he felt confident 
 the court would bear him out with in their charge, so 
 overwhelmed and distressed me, that I scarcely knew 
 whether I stood upon my head or my heels. I however 
 summoned up sufficient courage to rise and utter the 
 following words — " Gentlemen of the Jury " 
 
 These words had no sooner passed my parched lips, 
 
THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 31 
 
 than the concentrated rays of twenty-three eyes were 
 brought to bear upon my person — for one of the panel 
 had lost one of these organs, but the other was a piercer 
 — so that I immediately felt the full force of my perilous 
 position, a target for the whole sworn twelve to fire at. 
 It was awful ; my limbs trembled beneath me, my hand 
 shook till the paper fairly rattled as I held it forth. As 
 I was about to reiterate the words just spoken, the silence 
 which pervaded the court-room was interrupted by a 
 cry of " Stand back, clear the way for the Grand Jury," 
 and in stalked the whole array and took their seats. 
 The ceremony of receiving bills from this formidable 
 body was finished. Burglaries, larcenies, both grand 
 and petty, with one murder as a trump, were shuffled 
 over by the judge, and then handed to the Attorney- 
 General, accompanied with a grave remark that they 
 were all right — and after much shoving and cries of 
 " Clear the way, make room for the Grand Jury," which 
 was reiterated by the constabulary in every variety of 
 form and intonation of voice, order was restored and 
 the twenty-three eyes again commenced mesmerising 
 me. " Gentlemen," said I— a very long pause,—" Gen- 
 tlemen—if there is one of you that will " — " a-a-t 
 
 chee, ee!" came from the one-eyed juryman, like the 
 explosion of a keg of powder ; such a sneeze was never 
 heard before, nor ever will be heard again ; it startled 
 the whole assemblage. Some dozen loafers dozing upon 
 the back seats gazed for a moment about them with a 
 vacant and bewildered stare, then sunk again into slum- 
 ber, to dream of pots of beer, lawyers, smoked sausages, 
 and Grand Juries. 
 
 The twenty-two eyes of the eleven were withdrawn 
 
32 THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 
 
 from me and bent with curious gaze upon their twelfth 
 one-eyed associate, from whose nostrils had issued that 
 tremendous and supernatural blast ; that gentleman's 
 head, buried for some time beneath the rail, was not 
 visible ; my own impression was that it had dropped off or 
 been hurled off, for he was very busy seeking for some- 
 thing upon the floor. Our apprehensions upon that point 
 were quickly relieved, for up it rose again, slowly as if 
 drawn by some powerful machine, the mouth wide open 
 from ear to ear, his right eye shut as tightly as the one 
 which some amiable playmate had gouged out in youth. 
 Onward it went until bent as far back as the natural 
 structure of those parts of the body would permit, every 
 energy of that individual juryman apparently concen- 
 trated into the effort to give forth a sneeze which should 
 astonish all mankind. Judging from the involuntary 
 specimen of his powers already given, there could not be 
 " a loop to hang a doubt upon," as my preceptor would 
 say, but that this forthcoming effort would realize the 
 most sanguine expectations of the audience. Bench, 
 bar, tipstaves and spectators, as one man, with suppressed 
 breath and staring eyeballs, awaited the awful explosion. 
 There it comes — there was a slight preliminary gasp 
 — a preparatory heave — the eye opened, the mouth shut, 
 and the nostril ejaculated a slight " hitchee," not much 
 louder than the chirp of a tom-tit. This was worse than 
 the other ; disappointment pervaded the whole assem- 
 blage, with no small mixture of popular indignation. 
 There was something, however, so irresistibly comical 
 in the whole exhibition that with one accord the gentle 
 world of General Sessions roared with laughter — all 
 except poor I, who was now doubly confounded ; all my 
 
THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 33 
 
 pathos, the preparation of weeks, was sneezed away by 
 that infernal one-eyed juryman ; and though silence was 
 commanded in every variety of cadence and emphasis, 
 from the snap-snap of the newly fledged constabulary to 
 the deep growl of the old crier, who was famous for the 
 imperious demands upon the public for that which he 
 never could maintain in his own domicile, I was utterly 
 gone, dumfounded, and with one or two spasmodic 
 efforts at articulation, gave up, and sank into my chair 
 covered with confusion. What transpired afterwards, 
 [ have no recollection of. Upon looking over the columns 
 of a newspaper some days after, I saw that my client 
 had been convicted, notwithstanding a most powerful 
 speech made by Hiram Hock, Esq. This was my first 
 effort, with every probability of its being my last. 
 
VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 
 
 THE CELEBRATED MAESTRO OF THE JEWSHARP. 
 
 From the remotest periods, almost every age can 
 boast of some wonderful genius, whose intellectual or 
 physical endowments, above all others, are pre-eminently 
 distinguished. Bright and particular stars have struggled 
 through the obscurity of the dark ages, and ever after 
 shone with a steady, enduring and imperishable light. 
 Others have burst forth like meteors for a time to dazzle 
 and astonish mankind. Of the former, a Milton and a 
 Shakspeare still shine with undiminished brilliancy in 
 the literary firmament, whilst the coruscating genius of 
 a Daniel O'Connell, Napoleon Bonaparte, Ole Bull, and 
 Von Yearling Heiffer, captivate the senses and para- 
 lyze the gaze of the nineteenth century. 
 
 There would be much dispute as to the nationality of 
 our hero, was it decided upon the principle of the 
 ancient apothegm, — non ubi nascor, sed ubi pascor — 
 making that place his mother, not which bred, but which 
 fed him. as every empire, kingdom, and state is tribu- 
 tary to his genius. 
 
 Fortunately we are fully acquainted with the early 
 history of Von Yearling Heiffer, even from the hour of 
 his birth, and all the details of his parentage and place 
 of nativity. 
 
VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 35 
 
 Germany has the honour of being the birthplace of 
 Von Yearling Heiffer. He was born in the romantic 
 little village of Humbug, and Duchy of Buttermilk- 
 hausen. 
 
 With infinite pleasure we are able to record not only 
 the day, and year, and month, but the precise hour to a 
 minute, when that happy event transpired. It was on 
 the memorable first day of April, a. d. 1823, at five and 
 a half minutes past four of the morning. 
 
 His mother, Soosook Heiffer, was not\vhat is termed 
 a strong-minded woman, but remarkable for great pro- 
 priety of demeanour, uncommon industry, and surprising 
 strength of constitution: the latter she inherited from 
 the English Bulls, to which family she was nearlv re- 
 laled. She was what might be termed a pains-taking 
 body, and addicted to very early rising. To this virtue 
 then, may be ascribed the choice of that unfashionable 
 hour to perform the important duty of giving birth to 
 Von Yearling, that the rest of the day might be dedi- 
 cated to the compounding of sausages and the fabrica- 
 tion of cheeses, in which separate and distinct sciences 
 she eminently excelled. 
 
 From a portrait of that excellent woman which 
 adorns the Hall of Churnagain, the palace of the Arch- 
 duke Parmesan, we form a very favourable opinion of 
 her personal accomplishments. 
 
 She was neither tall nor short, but perhaps might be 
 more aptly styled a spherical beauty ; that is to say, she 
 was about as broad as she was long. This pleasing 
 rotundity was usually encompassed by a short German 
 woollen petticoat, the waist commencing immediately 
 under the arms. Her head was adorned with one of 
 
36 VON YEARLING HE1FFER. 
 
 those exquisite little German skull-caps, plastered down 
 with such skill that no phrenological developement was 
 hid from view ; or, more poetically described, as if 
 some one had " plucked from her forehead an innocent 
 love, and clapped a blister there." Her back had a 
 graceful Grecian curve, though it has been intimated, 
 (with what truth we will not pretend to affirm,) that the 
 last mentioned beauty was an organic affection, occa- 
 sioned by the weight of a musical instrument which her 
 affectionate spouse was wont to place upon her shoul- 
 ders, when perambulating the neighbouring villages. 
 
 This lovely woman was of English descent, as we 
 before observed, originally from Cowes, where Ole Bull 
 of that parish, the grand uncle of the immortal Ole Bull, 
 was married to her mother, and took her to Buttermilk- 
 hausen. Of course the reader will perceive that there 
 is an affinity between Ole Bull of forty-fiddlestick 
 power, and the subject of our short biographical sketch. 
 
 So much for the maternal, — we will now glance at 
 the paternal side of this domestic picture, for every thing 
 that relates, however remotely, to our hero, has become 
 a matter of the deepest inlerest to the world. 
 
 They say, it is a wise child that knows his own 
 father. Gifted as young Heiffer is with supernatural 
 abilities, yet, an affecting incident has occurred to 
 the gentleman who claimed the honour of being the 
 author of our hero's existence, which utterly precluded 
 him from any personal knowledge of his distinguished 
 parent. 
 
 Horntosser, the father of Yearling Heiffer, whom it 
 becomes our duty to notice, was an original but eccen- 
 tric genius ; the perfect antipode in disposition and tastes 
 
VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 37 
 
 to his lovely spouse. He was one of those powerful 
 geniuses that would rather do any thing than work. So 
 perfectly, however, did he appreciate the skill of his 
 lady, that much of his time was dedicated to her sausages 
 and cheeses ; but suddenly, under an impulse which it is 
 impossible and perhaps unnecessary to define, he quitted 
 his home and wandered about in strange places, with no 
 other companion than a monkey, of very small propor- 
 tions, who figured upon the top of a rare instrument of 
 music, out of which Horntosser did grind exquisite and 
 dulcet tones. 
 
 It is reported that so great was the popularity of this 
 worthy gentleman, that he seldom appeared in the 
 streets of a town, but instantly a crowd gathered round 
 his person, and bestowed many testimonials upon him, in 
 the shape of copper coins, as tokens of remembrance. 
 
 In an evil hour, Horntosser encountered a pedlar, 
 fresh from the United States of America, who gave him 
 such glowing accounts of that new world, that he de- 
 termined at once to quit his faderland, and embark for 
 that Eldorado for pedlars, organ grinders, and catgut 
 scrapers. 
 
 But alas, how short-sighted is man ! The gay visions 
 of Horntosser were never realized. Upon his arrival in 
 America, he was not a little astonished and mortified to 
 discover that numbers of his countrymen had already 
 anticipated him, and that every town and village was 
 plentifully supplied with barrel-organs and monkeys 
 without number. But such were the supernatural endow- 
 ments of his companion, so exquisite was the cut of his 
 jacket, and with such infinite grace did he sport his little 
 military cocked hat, whilst the Maestro extracted sweet 
 
38 VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 
 
 tones from his instrument, that a large share of public 
 patronage was enjoyed by both. 
 
 If Horntosser had remained satisfied with the slow 
 acquisition of wealth, the result, perhaps, would have 
 been very different ; but either from the effect of the 
 atmosphere in which he moved, or from some uncon- 
 trollable desire for the sudden acquisition of fortune, his 
 powerful genius conceived the idea of teaching his 
 monkey to discharge a little ordnance at the spectators, 
 not being aware that in the execution of this astonishing 
 and pleasing feat he was infringing the great ordinances 
 of the city of Brotherly Love. For a time, however, 
 he reaped a harvest of coppers and sixpences by this 
 daring exploit, when the monkey happening to discharge 
 his pistol in the ear of a doctor's horse, that animal, 
 much to the astonishment of the spectators, and entirely 
 out of the course of his usual habits, scampered off with 
 a speed that quickly demolished the vehicle to which he 
 was fastened, much to his own satisfaction, but to the 
 unequivocal mortification of the owner thereof. The 
 doctor made complaint loud and strong before a magis- 
 trate, accompanied by divers imprecations against all 
 organ-grinders and pistol-firing monkeys: an arrest of 
 the ill-fated Horntosser was the consequence, and he 
 and organ and monkey were carried before the tribunal 
 of a magistrate. 
 
 In vain did poor Horntosser plead in German his utter 
 and entire ignorance of the laws. In vain did he urge 
 that his companion was an irresponsible being and not 
 amenable to the law. The doctor was inexorable, and 
 so was the magistrate ; and all the profits of this gifted 
 individual were in a moment, by the scratch of a pen, 
 
VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 39 
 
 swept into the pockets of that functionary and his worthy 
 assistants, by a fine of fifty dollars and costs ; the penalty 
 being made additionally heavy on account of an indignity 
 offered to the person of the magistrate by the monkey, 
 who during the solemnity of the trial and examination, 
 was distracting the atlention of the audience by surprising 
 and perhaps indecorous feats of agility, unbecoming his 
 position, which though they elicited unqualified applause 
 from the spectators, could not but be interpreted as an 
 intended insult. Superadded to which, there was a 
 general levity of conduct, unpardonable and inexcusable 
 in one so travelled and accomplished. 
 
 There was another reason why the penalty was so 
 severe, which Horntosser will ever remain ignorant of. 
 The act abolishing imprisonment for debt had just be- 
 come a law. There had, therefore, been a terrible slack 
 of judicial and constabulary business. The little affair 
 of Horntosser was a sort of godsend which they be- 
 lieved it their duty to make the most of. The father of 
 our hero became so completely disgusted with republican 
 justice, for not permitting monkeys to crack off little 
 pistols, that he packed up and re-embarked for his fader- 
 land. 
 
 But much had transpired since this worthy man had 
 quit his home. The genius of his son had burst forth to 
 astonish the world, and after reaping a world of glory 
 there, had departed for that very land from which his 
 parent had fled with disgust and mortification. This ex- 
 plains, therefore, why our hero never had the opportunity 
 of knowing personally his own father. 
 
 We must apologize for this digression, if such it can 
 be called, for every thing that relates to our hero is of 
 
40 VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 
 
 such absorbing interest, that this little episodical history 
 in the life of the reputed author of his being, cannot but 
 be of the greatest interest to the public. 
 
 Von Yearling exhibited at a very early age some of 
 those surprising qualities which have distinguished him 
 as one of the greatest geniuses of the age. We cannot 
 but look upon fiddling and dancing as a gift of inspira- 
 tion, which in spite of any obstacle will burst forth at 
 the fitting time. No matter how overwhelming the dif- 
 ficulties, it struggles forth with a lustre proportionate to 
 the obstacles that oppose its progress. 
 
 Which part of the human frame is the seat of intelli- 
 gence has been a disputed point with philosophers time 
 out of mind ; and they who have believed in the theory 
 of brains and all that sort of thing, are not a little con- 
 founded by the recent extraordinary men and women 
 who have attracted and commanded undivided attention 
 and admiration without the use of their heads at all. 
 Elssler's heels, the supernatural elbow of Ole Bull, that 
 might be said to be a complication of the concentrated 
 energies of forty fiddlers' elbows in a country dance, 
 confound all such theories, and distract us with the start- 
 ling supposition whether, after all, the brains be not in 
 the fiddle of the one and the heels of the other. 
 
 The Chinese have been laughed at for believing that 
 the belly was the seat of the soul ; but it behoves us 
 hereafter to be more careful how we condemn a theory 
 before it has been tried and tested and matured by ex- 
 periment. 
 
 The godlike abilities of Ole Bull, though pressed down 
 by every accumulative difficulty — not forgetting poverty, 
 which is acknowledged by all to be a crusher of no or- 
 
VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 41 
 
 dinary power— burst forth like a suppressed flame. So 
 with Yearling Heiffer ; though thwarted by the indiscreet 
 though well-meant efforts of his friends, he conquered 
 all opposition. 
 
 In vain did they attempt to teach him the vulgar at- 
 tainments of reading and writing. In vain was it an 
 effort made to instruct our hero in some honest trade or 
 calling, and thus cramp his omnipotent genius. We are 
 happy to say that these efforts were all unsuccessful. 
 His mighty genius was uncontrolled and uncontrollable. 
 Sleeping, eating sausages and sourcrout, was his constant 
 occupation, until an accident suddenly developed all his 
 powers, and gave him the command of that instrument 
 by which he was to raise himself, without that useless ar- 
 ticle called brains, to the highest pinnacle of human glory. 
 
 The incident is curious, affecting and instructive. A 
 great fair was held in the vicinity of Humbug in the 
 Duchy of Buttermilkhausen. Our hero was exceedingly 
 anxious to go to this fair, and was promised the gratifi- 
 cation by his mother, upon condition he assisted her in 
 the polishing off some specimens of the skill in the 
 sausage and cheese line. He fulfilled her wishes, and 
 received from that worthy and exemplary woman a 
 penny, accompanied by a maternal admonition that he 
 would be careful not to make a beast of himself by any 
 foolish and improvident expenditure of that liberal dona- 
 tion. 
 
 With this penny, Von Yearling Heiffer bought a Jews- 
 harp, an instrument of music he long had coveted, and 
 at once commenced his labours. He appeared to be 
 born for it ; night and day did this talented youth prac- 
 tise every variety of tune, never for one moment inter- 
 
 4 
 
42 VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 
 
 mining his labours, a little sausage and a little sourcrout 
 being taken at times to prevent exhaustion. In a short 
 time he felt himself master of it, and exhibited his talents 
 to the people of his native village. Men, women and 
 children were enraptured ; with one accord he was 
 unanimously pronounced a real Humbugger, and an 
 honour to the place of his nativity. 
 
 His fame flew upon the wings of the wind. The 
 Duchess of Parmesan sent him a cheese, with a particu- 
 lar request that he would exhibit his skill at Churnagain, 
 the Palace of the Principality of Buttermilkhausen. His 
 performance there had the most surprising effects. Her 
 Grace was thrown into such ecstasies that her life was 
 despaired of for several days, but upon recovery, 
 presented him with the order of the golden fleece, as the 
 most appropriate gift for such abilities. 
 
 The whole court of Buttermilkhausen was in tears, 
 several maids of honour had to be carried out, and Baron 
 Goldschmidtwho happened to be present, with the great- 
 est liberality presented him with five shares in the Missis- 
 sippi bonds, accompanied with a letter to Governor 
 McNutt, in case it should be the determination of Von 
 Yearling to go to America and tune up " those amiable 
 transatlantic repudiators." 
 
 Gold now poured into the pockets of Von Yearling, 
 faster than coppers were showered upon the heads of his 
 father and monkey. All the world bowed at the shrine 
 of his magnificent genius. Nothing was talked of but 
 Von Yearling Heiffer and his Jews-harp. Princes and 
 Princesses, Dukes and Duchesses were expiring with 
 delight. At Vienna, his first appearance was awful. 
 We copy from the Allgemeine Zeitung, a vivid descrip- 
 
VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 43 
 
 tion of that appearance : — The effect upon the audience 
 was wonderful. The house was decidedly the largest 
 he had had, and the performance unquestionably more 
 thrilling and subduing than any they had previously 
 heard. The last piece, the ' Carving de Venison, 9 was 
 received with such a demonstration of popular delight 
 as has never before been witnessed in any theatre. After 
 the hurricane had subsided, the Maestro came forward, 
 bending low and holding his Jews-harp at the end of his 
 nose, by the tongue of that magic instrument. He said 
 in a voice broken with emotion : — 
 
 "' I vas born in Humbug, but mine harp is at yourn 
 shervice.' 
 
 " He then took his harp off* of his nose, blew that organ 
 with a white cambric pocket-handkerchief in the most 
 graceful and affecting manner, played the Humbug waltz 
 in such an exquisite style, that every body was wound up 
 to such a state of ecstasy that relief could only be ob- 
 tained by parting with all their spare cash, and those 
 that had none to spare borrowed from others, or the 
 consequences might have been fatal. Some have never 
 been unwound since, and are still turning round singing 
 his praises in the most exaggerated strains." 
 
 Having exhausted Europe, we are happy to hear that 
 it is the intention of this gifted and wonderful genius to 
 pay us a visit, and from the success of his distinguished 
 relation in the fiddling department, we have no doubt 
 but Von Yearling Heiffer, of Humbug and Buttermilk- 
 hausen, will be received with an enthusiasm correspond- 
 ing to his great talents ! 
 
A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA, 
 
 m 1844. 
 
 " Coming events cast their shadows before." 
 
 "Go forth, brave champion of your native land; 
 And may the battle prosper in your hand. 
 It may — it must ! You cannot be withstood ; 
 Your soul is fearless as your cause is good." 
 
 Churchill. 
 
 Far above the parapets of the Moro Castle, like a 
 pyramid of clouds, towered the white swelling sails of a 
 man-of-war of the largest class. From her peak streamed 
 forth, in ample folds, a well-known flag, upon whose 
 azure field sparkled the stars of a constellation, increas- 
 ing every day in lustre. The dark hull of this gigantic 
 warrior passed out of the bay, and majestically bowed 
 to the swell which now heaved in from the broad ocean 
 against her bright cleaving bow, which scattered aside 
 the opposing fluid into jets of milk-white foam and spray. 
 
 Every thing about this magnificent craft was trimmed 
 with nautical precision. Her bright sides bristled with 
 a triple array of heavy artillery. As if by magic, the 
 lower, and lighter sails aloft, were furled to the yards — 
 and like a gladiator stripped for the fight, this grim war- 
 rior was prepared to battle with her country's foes or 
 ocean's storms. 
 
 Upon the quarter-deck of that ship stood the veteran 
 
A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 45 
 
 commander, calm and collected. For a moment he 
 cast a hasty glance aloft, then gave a brief but stern 
 order to an officer near him, and again was calm and 
 absorbed in meditation. 
 
 " What's the report, sir ?" he said sharply to the 
 officer who had returned. " Is our squadron in sight V 9 
 
 " Yes, sir, hull down, but coming on with a spanking 
 breeze." 
 
 Almost within hail, a fleet of men-of-war were slowly 
 approaching under easy sail. The leading vessel, a 
 seventy-four, carried the Admiral's flag, whilst the cross 
 of Saint George waved over the taffrail. The American 
 lay broadside on to the British cruiser, her main-top- 
 sail hove to the mast. The same manoeuvre was per- 
 formed by the British man-of-war, and those two ocean 
 cavaliers, at the distance of some hundred fathoms 
 apart, as if in knightly courtesy, gracefully saluted as 
 they rose and fell upon the waves. A boat dropped from 
 the quarter of each vessel at the same moment. For an 
 instant the glittering oars were held aloft ; at the words 
 " let fall, give way !" they both sprung from the 
 respective ships, with a speed that quickly brought them 
 together. 
 
 " What ship is that, sir ?" said the British officer, 
 slightly touching his hat. 
 
 11 The United States Ship of the Line Pennsylvania," 
 replied the American. 
 
 "And her commander?" 
 
 "Commodore Charles Stewart. What ship is that, 
 sir?" 
 
 " Her Britannic Majesty's Ship Bellerophon." 
 
 " Her commander?" 
 
46 A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 
 
 " Admiral Sir George Brooke." 
 
 "And permit me to ask," continued the American 
 Lieutenant, " where are you bound, and for what 
 purpose V 9 
 
 In a clear, firm voice the prompt reply was, " To the 
 Havanna, to take possession of the island of Cuba." 
 
 " I am directed by the orders of Commodore Stewart, 
 to repeat to you for the information of the Admiral, that 
 such a movement cannot be permitted" 
 
 " Nothing else, sir V 9 
 
 " Nothing." 
 
 The two officers civilly bowed to each other, seated 
 themselves in the stern sheets of their respective boats, 
 and whirled off to the ships. Upon the quarter-deck of 
 the Pennsylvania, the old Commodore was quietly seated 
 upon a gun ; as the officer advanced, he drily inquired if 
 he had obeyed orders. 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 " Then beat to quarters" — and the lively tones of the 
 fife and drum were quickly heard sounding that inspiring 
 call. A thousand active, hardy-looking fellows in a 
 moment stood to their tackle and stations. The ship was 
 ready for action. 
 
 In the meantime, signals had been passing from the 
 British Admiral's ship to his squadron. Soon after, a 
 barge dashed alongside of the American ship, and an 
 officer of gallant bearing mounted the companion ladder, 
 to whom was paid the highest military honours, and 
 conducted to the presence of the old tar, who received 
 his distinguished visiter with that gentlemanly courtesy 
 for which he is so remarkable. 
 
 The following conversation took place : 
 
A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 47 
 
 " I have the honour to address Commodore Stewart, I 
 believe 1" 
 
 " My name is Charles Stewart, sir," replied he 
 smiling ; " and I have the honour to command the Home 
 Squadron of the United States Navy." 
 
 After a pause of a few moments, the Admiral, for 
 such was the rank of the officer with the star upon his 
 breast, said, " I am informed, sir, that it is your intention 
 to interrupt the passage of Her Britannic Majesty's fleet 
 into that harbour," pointing towards the Havanna; " am 
 I rightly informed, sir ?" 
 
 " If for the purpose of taking possession of the Island, 
 — you are rightly informed." 
 
 " You certainly, sir," repeated the Admiral with much 
 warmth, " can have no such instructions from your 
 Government. It was thought that there was a perfect 
 understanding between Her Majesty's Ministers, and the 
 late Secretary of State at Washington, upon this subject. 
 It is far from the wish of Her Majesty's Government to 
 enter into any hostile collision with the United States, 
 with whom it is the well known and expressed wish of 
 Her Majesty to remain upon the most friendly and 
 pacific terms. Any interference upon your part in a 
 matter of such deep and lively interest to Great Britain, 
 would certainly involve the two nations in a war; I may 
 add, nothing could be more unlooked for, and nothing 
 more unwarrantable." 
 
 "Now look ye, Sir George," said the Commodore, 
 mildly and respectfully, but with a peculiar air of deter- 
 mination not to be misunderstood, " whether I have 
 positive orders or not, is immaterial to you ; I shall act 
 in this instance without regard to consequences, and for 
 
48 A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 
 
 the good of my country. I shall be plain, explicit and 
 frank with you — our diplomacy will be brief. So long 
 as the confederacy of the States exists, Cuba must not 
 pass into the hands of Great Britain, nor any other 
 scheming, enterprising, mercantile power. Havanna is 
 the key to the Gulf, into which pours through the 
 channel of the Mississippi, the wealth of all the Western 
 and Southern States, nor can my country be insensible 
 to the danger of her peace and union, which must 
 instantly follow from that timid policy which would per- 
 mit this Island and her vast military fortification to 
 become a point d'appui for a British crusade against her 
 Southern domestic institutions. At all events, I am pre- 
 pared to assume the responsibility of my present position, 
 and to sacrifice, if necessary, in maintaining it, my own 
 life and the lives of all those whom I now have the 
 honour to command. While that flag waves over the 
 head of Charles Stewart, your avowed movement will 
 be resisted to the last ;" and mildly turning to his chief 
 executive officer, he observed in low tones, " I think my 
 country will applaud the act, and should I fall, do justice 
 to my memory." 
 
 For a moment the Admiral gazed at the imperturbable 
 features of the veteran tar, and said — 
 
 " Are you resolved, Commodore Stewart ?" 
 
 "Admiral Sir George Brooke," said the Commodore, 
 advancing close to him, but with solemnity and respect, 
 said in the most impressive manner — " Do you see yon 
 distant Moro Castle? its foundations are not more firm 
 than my determination." 
 
 " Very well, sir," was the prompt reply. " I shall 
 return to my vessel, and shall be under the unpleasant 
 
A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 49 
 
 necessity of blowing you out of the water, for you see I 
 am ten to one." 
 
 " Blow away, sir, but before you make the experiment, 
 be pleased to cast your eyes to windward" — for by this 
 time the Home Squadron were within cannon-shot, bear- 
 ing down under a crowd of canvass. 
 
 " What ships are those, sir?" said the Admiral, 
 addressing one of the officers of the Pennsylvania, and 
 whose face was glowing w T ith delight at the prospect of 
 a row which he had not tasted since 1814. 
 
 " Those ships, sir V 9 
 
 " Yes, sir, those to windward." 
 
 " O ! I beg pardon, sir, only the Constitution, Macedo- 
 nian, United States, Java, Brandy wine, Yorktown, 
 Germantown, and Steamers Princeton and Mississippi." 
 
 The Admiral then turned round to the American com- 
 mander. Raising his hat above his head, he said, " Com- 
 modore Stewart, farewell." 
 
 "Farewell, sir," was the reply, and the Admiral 
 departed, every military honour being paid to him that 
 was due his rank. 
 
 A cutter came alongside, into which I sprung, 
 freighted with despatches, and orders to hasten with all 
 possible speed to a southern port in the United States. 
 As we passed the British transports, we observed that 
 they were crowded with troops. We passed through the 
 American line ; every thing was prepared for battle — 
 the crews were at their stations. The question involun- 
 tarily occurred, how many of these gallant fellows, 
 whose hearts throb with enthusiasm, will be laid low ere 
 sunset 1 
 
 We could observe the Pennsylvania still hove to — 
 
50 A GEEAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 
 
 occasionally a bright musket or cutlass gleamed in the 
 sun — and a flag now fluttered from the pinnacle of each 
 of her towering masts. The squadron was advancing 
 in line of battle ; whilst the Princeton and Mississippi 
 were hovering like hawks upon the flanks. The British 
 fleet had filed away for the harbour, which lay directly 
 on a line with the American flag ship. Whilst gazing 
 from the stern of our receding bark, with intense interest 
 upon the manoeuvres of the two fleets, a cloud of smoke 
 rolled from the side of the Bellerophon, and ere the roar 
 of the artillery reached us, we could see the splinters and 
 crippled spars flying into the air from the decks of the 
 Pennsylvania — but no return to that terrible salute. 
 Again and again, did volumes of smoke and flame pour 
 from the sides of the Bellerophon. At that moment the 
 dark hull of the Pennsylvania passed between two large 
 ships, and the sea and air shook with a tremendous con- 
 cussion. Every vessel w r as now engaged in close com- 
 bat — all were enveloped in a dun canopy of sulphurous 
 smoke — above which, we could see the stars and stripes 
 still waving proudly. Occasionally a heavy explosion 
 burst upon the ear. 
 
 " There goes Stockton's big gun ; I pity the fellow that 
 got that pill ; and there's another !" 
 
 " Hurra !" said the skipper, and our little crew waved 
 their hats, and stretched over the bulwarks, as if to jump 
 into the sea to aid their countrymen. 
 
 Long after this scene had sunk below the horizon, we 
 could hear the battle like a gathering tropical storm. 
 What was the result we cannot say; duty compelled us 
 from the glorious conflict. Whether the Commodore 
 was blown out of water or not, time only will disclose. 
 
A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 51 
 
 If it should be so, we know what the people of the 
 United States will feel for the memory of the gallant 
 old fellow ; and if he lives, and returns triumphant, we 
 do not think there will be much trouble about canvassing 
 for the next Presidency of these United States. 
 
 The foregoing sketch was written some two months 
 before the meeting of Congress ; we here append a 
 report of an interesting debate upon the floor of Con- 
 gress, on the subject of our sketch. 
 
 Note. — Quite a skirmish took place in the House at Washington, on 
 Wednesday, between Mr. Adams and Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. The question 
 under consideration was the Home Squadron. Mr. Adams said, in the 
 course of his remarks : 
 
 " Nine millions ; and for what ? To spread our flag to the winds and 
 show our stars and stripes in every sea. What else is it to do ? Is it 
 necessary at this time for the defence of the country ? Does our coast 
 require a whole squadron to protect it ? Is the great maritime power of 
 the earth in such a position of affairs with us that we need expect the 
 coming of a British squadron here, to meet which this home squadron 
 is wanted ? No, sir. What then do we want it for ? There was, two 
 years ago, a report from the then Secretary of the Navy, accompanied 
 by a report from the Secretary of War, in which there was an intima- 
 tion that our navy, in comparison with the navy of Great Britain, was 
 then as eight to one : that the British navy was, in fact, eight times as 
 large as our own ; and the sum then asked for the naval service of the 
 year was eight millions : (now we are asked for nine millions— one mil- 
 lion more,) and the report of the Secretary of the Navy contended for 
 the principle that it was the policy of the government to go on increasing 
 its naval establishment as fast as it could until it rose to half the size of 
 the navy of Great Britain. Now put these two things together. Their 
 navy was then to ours as eight to one : and we were to augment ours 
 till it was half as large as theirs; theirs being eight, ours must be four; 
 and four times eight are thirty -two, so that the secretary, in substance, 
 asked of Congress to sanction a principle which necessarily involved the 
 appropriation of thirty-two millions of dollars for the national service. — 
 This was asked, I say, two years ago, as proper at that time for the 
 
52 A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 
 
 use of the navy. And the gentleman has already said that if we go on 
 increasing our naval force at the rate we are now pursuing, thirty-two 
 millions will not he enough. No, sir, it will not : fifty millions will not 
 cover the expenditure. My friend from Philadelphia, (Mr. Ingersoll) 
 was I recollect very ferocious, about that time, for the burning of Lon- 
 don, [a laugh] with our navy ; he told us it could be done ; and if our 
 naval force was not equal to it then, he was ready to go on and increase 
 it till it should be strong enough to sail up the Thames and burn Lon- 
 don. [Roars of laughter.] Yes, sir, London; not Chatham, which I 
 believe some Dutch admiral did once set fire to, or attempted it. 
 
 Mr. C. J. Ingersoll here, amid much surrounding merriment, inter- 
 posed to explain, and Mr. Adams assenting, he stated that he had only 
 proposed to burn London in return for what the gentleman from Massa- 
 chusetts had proposed, viz. to take a British fleet up the Mississippi and 
 burn Natchez ! [Laughter.] 
 
 Mr. Adams, I burn Natchez ? I take the British fleet up the Missis- 
 sippi ? I never proposed any such thing. I bring a British fleet up the 
 Mississippi to burn Natchez ? Oh no, sir. This is an afterthought. 
 
 Mr. Adams observed that he believed that when the project of the 
 Home Squadron was first broached, he voted for it. 
 
 Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. Yes: there were in fact but three voting 
 against it. 
 
 Mr. Adams. Ay : and that was because this House did not then 
 know what it was for. Sir, it looks to a war with Great Britain — to 
 this first, and then to the fact that in that event the coast will require a 
 large squadron for its defence. It is proposed to go to war with Great 
 Britain, in case she should take a fancy to take Cuba. That is the reason 
 for increasing this Home Squadron. That's it. It is war, sir. 
 
 Mr. C. J. Ingersoll here said he was very anxious to put one question 
 to the honourable gentleman from Massachusetts : would the gentleman 
 allow him to ask one question ? 
 
 Mr. Adams. Why, I believe not, sir. If the gentleman wants the 
 floor to put questions to me, I think I had better not yield it, for I do 
 not want to be questioned by the gentleman just now. What question 
 does he want to put ? 
 
 Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. I ask the gentleman, would he let Great Britain 
 have Cuba ? would he ? 
 
 Mr. Adams. I ask the gentleman in turn, is he ready to go to war 
 with Great Britain ? is he ? 
 
A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 53 
 
 Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. Without one moment's hesitation, sooner than 
 let her take Cuba. 
 
 Mr. Adams. I believe so. I believe the gentleman is ready ; and as 
 that is at least a possible event, this Home Squadron appropriation is 
 meant to provide for it. I am against a war, I believe the country is 
 against it, and that they will support the proposition of the gentleman 
 from New Hampshire. I believe that the morals of the country are not 
 so deeply corrupt as to be prepared to go to war with Great Britain for 
 the sake of a company of Creoles ; no, nor yet for the sake of annexing 
 Texas to the Union : for that is another of the objects in view. — The 
 gentleman from Pennsylvania said that it is not by reducing the expen- 
 ditures in the army or the navy that we can effect a reduction in our 
 expenditures. No ; but by administrative measures here, at home. 
 Well, sir, suppose we shall adopt, at once, the British plan, and let the 
 members of this House and the members of the Senate serve without 
 pay. Suppose we strike out the items of our pay and mileage, and all 
 the other expenses, as well of Congress things, and simply talking about 
 the extravagances in the various Departments, and simply dismounting 
 a regiment, (which he took for granted was to be remounted again,) and 
 calling home the Home Squadron, which in a year or two was to be sent 
 out again ; if, in short, they did not do the thing effectually, and in the 
 right way, that responsibility would not only weigh heavily, but would 
 weigh' destructively, upon them. 
 
 We have gathered the above from the able Report in the National In- 
 telligencer. 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS, 
 
 OR 
 COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE. 
 
 A BATTLE BETWEEN A FIRST-RATE MAN-OF-WAR AND A STEAMER, IN THE 
 YEAR 1845. 
 
 The object of this sketch, the reader will discover, 
 is to illustrate the great improvement made in this 
 country in nautical science. For this purpose he has, 
 by a species of second sight or prophetic clairvoyance, 
 peeped into the future, and anticipated the results of 
 American science in any collision that may come with 
 the usual forms of naval belligerency, and shadowed 
 forth in striking colours the omnipotent power of an 
 element subdued by art, and which promises to effect 
 yet greater changes in the condition of the human race. 
 
 The speculative philosopher and the scientific experi- 
 menter will here be presented with food for meditation, 
 cooked up in a pleasing and palatable form. 
 
 What will be the effects when both parties adopt the 
 same mode of warfare, or whether there will ever, 
 under such circumstances, be any fighting at all, the 
 second sight of the author has not reached. But that 
 the old process of hammering brains out, the reader will 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 55 
 
 agree, with the " old hero of Trafalgar," to be " used 
 up," and soon to be an ancient system, as feeble and 
 ineffectual as the catapult and balista. 
 
 England is assumed as one of the belligerent parties, 
 not from any hostile feelings on the part of the writer to 
 her renowned flag, or with a wish to encourage any 
 such feelings on this side of the water against a nation 
 with whom it is our interest to remain at peace, but 
 selected as the most powerful in naval strength, to whom 
 Neptune has for centuries paid the tribute due to her 
 valour. It is the giant warrior of the ocean sinking 
 beneath the arm of science. 
 
 Bermuda, May 6, 1845. 
 To the Rt. Hon. George Augustus Vansittart, Oxford. 
 
 My dear George : 
 
 You recollect your last words upon parting with me 
 at Chatham — " I envy you, with health, youth, spirit, an 
 honourable station on board the finest ship afloat, and 
 commanded by as noble a seaman as ever trod the deck 
 of a man-of-war ; the path of glory is open to you ; it 
 will be your own fault if you fail to acquire fortune 
 and honour." I have often since reflected upon those 
 words, and my own pride and confidence when I sur- 
 veyed our magnificent craft, whose gigantic and sym- 
 metrical proportions were the admiration and astonish- 
 ment of all who beheld her. I see her now, as she then 
 lay at anchor amidst a fleet of men-of-war, like a 
 towering oak in a forest of dwarf pines — her immense 
 hull bristling with a quadruple array of one hundred and 
 
56 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 twenty pieces of heavy artillery — her beautifully rounded 
 stern and quarter galleries, over which waved that invin- 
 cible banner, the acknowledged symbol of triumph in 
 every sea — her clean run and noble bows — her bright 
 decks and extended batteries, and a picked crew of a 
 thousand thorough-bred tars, in perfect keeping with 
 their floating castle. I believed, then, in the invinci- . 
 bility of that giant warrior, and that she could splinter 
 to atoms whole navies, with one blast of her sulphurous 
 breath. But, alas! George, you and I were under a 
 sad delusion. We have been " pinked" by a cockboat, 
 — by a ship we could carry as a launch upon the 
 booms. 
 
 Heroes of St. Vincent, the Nile and Trafalgar ! awake 
 from your sleep beneath the waves of your ancient seas ! 
 Rise out of your red coralline tombs, and listen to a tale 
 of the nineteenth century, as preposterous and incredible 
 to you in your " by-gone" days of nautical warfare, as 
 that the Victory, commanded by Nelson, should be cap- 
 tured by a French revenue cutter ; or that one of 
 Homer's heroes, thundering upon the plains of Troy, 
 were toppled over his chariot by a pocket-pistol, popped 
 off by a puny loafer. The Thunderer, with all her war- 
 like panoply, is gone for ever. She lies, now, down 
 upon the bottom of the deep sea. The dolphin and the 
 boneeta glide silently over those decks, once peopled 
 with a gallant band, nerved for a contest with storms or 
 foes; and the ground shark rubs his slimy carcass 
 against her gilded stern, or glares through the window's 
 of the admiral's cabin. 
 
 But to my story of this unlooked for disaster, which 
 has crushed my present hopes of fortune and prefer- 
 
STBAM AGAINST SAILS. 57 
 
 ment, and makes me view my teakettle, now simmering 
 before me, with fear and respect. 
 
 Our ship, you know, was especially built and fitted 
 out to crush the navy of those transatlantic repudiators, 
 and, if necessary, to give them a touch of Hong Kong 
 and Ning-Poo. This Oregon and Cuban war being 
 however not exactly an opium question, it was necessary 
 to strike a decisive blow. The prospect of a beautiful 
 "set-to" with one of their crack ships, the Pennsylvania, 
 was the constant, theme for discussion amongst the 
 middies. We all felt perfectly confident that in such a 
 " pretty fight," we should bring that boasted ship home. 
 We knew, however, there would be some warm work, 
 for you know, George, they have got the old stuff in 
 them, which it will take a century of crossing to root 
 out. 
 
 Full of enthusiasm and confidence in the bravery of 
 our crew, strength of our ship, and the skill of the re- 
 nowed seaman who commanded her, we hailed with 
 joy the signal for our departure. The day after you left 
 us for your severe Oxonian duties — i. e. a curricle and 
 champagne — we bid adieu to the white shores of old 
 Albion. The last gun had pealed from the bows of the 
 Thunderer to summon all wanderers on board — the 
 anchor was heaved from its slimy bed — and at the 
 same moment that a cloud of white canvass dropped 
 from every spar, " Rule Britannia" was struck up by 
 the band upon the quarter-deck. Slowly and majestic- 
 ally she passed the populous shores, booming a salute at 
 intervals from her middle-deck guns — ten thousand loyal 
 hearts from the shores and numerous craft responded 
 to that salute in hearty cheers. In a few hours our 
 
 5 
 
58 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 three-decker bowed gracefully to the first swell of old 
 Ocean, and with a flowing sheet, foamed our way over 
 the crested billows. 
 
 Her sailing qualities proved to be superior to any ship 
 in the service. She sailed like a clipper, and worked 
 like a sloop, and in a short time we were in warm lati- 
 tudes, with a clear sky above and the blue sea beneath, 
 through which we ploughed with a steady and trackless 
 speed. 
 
 On the morning of the 21st of February, a sail was 
 reported to be in sight, and orders promptly came 
 from the state cabin to give chase. In a few hours we 
 overhauled an American seventy-four gun ship, under 
 the command of a gallant and distinguished officer. He 
 manoeuvred his vessel admirably, but was so inferior to us 
 in numerical force and weight of metal, that it was per- 
 fect madness upon his part to contend with such fearful 
 odds. He did, however, sustain a spirited fight for 
 twenty minutes — commencing the action with three 
 cheers, and delivering his broadsides with astonishing 
 rapidity — and by some accident or another, for which I 
 cannot account, managed to rake us twice, and did con- 
 siderable damage, tripping up the heels of some fifty as 
 fine fellows as ever pulled and hauled. An unlucky 
 shot for him carried away his mainmast, which enabled 
 our vessel to deliver a whole broadside from every tier 
 of a three-decker. He went down, bow foremost, before 
 the smoke had blown away. There was nothing visible 
 but his mizzen-peak, from which fluttered upwards for a 
 moment the stripes and stars, and then disappeared 
 beneath the boiling waters. He died gloriously, as a 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 59 
 
 brave seaman would wish to die, in his own ship and 
 the flag of his country still flying. 
 
 As soon as the excitement of the scene had passed 
 away, the fate of that gallant fellow and his brave crew 
 spread a gloom throughout our ship. The strength of 
 our vessel was now apparent ; every man on board was 
 convinced that hand to hand there was nothing afloat 
 that could withstand a well-told broadside from the 
 Thunderer. But we are short-sighted mortals, my dear 
 fellow; we little knew what was in store for us, and 
 how soon a tenfold vengeance would be hurled upon us 
 for the fate of that gallant crew. 
 
 Another sail was reported from the forward look-out, 
 and again our ship was cleaving aside the brine in 
 pursuit. 
 
 When first descried, the stranger was covered with 
 white canvass, and looked like a tall pyramid of snow 
 upon the dark blue horizon. Whilst admiring her 
 appearance and the swell of her beautifully cut sails, 
 you may imagine our astonishment upon the sudden 
 disappearance of every sheet of canvass, from the deck 
 to the pinnacle of her tapering masts — her yards all 
 squared with mathematical precision, as if at anchor 
 in port. 
 
 " Well," said the admiral, " that's the conduct of a 
 prudent and discreet gentleman, and will save us some 
 trouble, and perhaps some powder and shot, and shows 
 a laudable economy in cotton canvass too. Mr. 
 Hawser," addressing the first officer, whilst he gazed 
 long and intently at the strange vessel that had just per- 
 formed the singular manoeuvre before mentioned — "that 
 is the prettiest model of a ship for her size I have ever 
 
60 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 seen. It is really a perfect picture. It does an old 
 sailor's heart good to gaze at such a craft. She has 
 some queer points about her, too — " And then slowly 
 pacing the deck, he muttered something about " fine 
 pleasure yacht — run into shallow waters — tender — " 
 then suddenly turning to the officer — " How fast are we 
 going through the water ?" 
 
 " Twelve knots, sir." 
 
 " Good ! In fifteen minutes we shall be up with her. 
 You will take possession of that ship, transfer the best of 
 her crew, with the officers, to our own — and, do you 
 hear, Mr. Hawser? bring her under the quarter — I shall 
 have special use for her," — and he descended to his 
 cabin. 
 
 The fifteen minutes had expired, and twenty to that, 
 and yet the strange craft was not one inch nearer ; on 
 the contrary, the distance between the two vessels had 
 seemingly increased. 
 
 The officers were collected about in groups, talking 
 in whispers, and pointing occasionally to the distant 
 vessel, which still remained out of the reach of our guns, 
 and every stitch of her canvass furled close to the yards. 
 
 At this moment the admiral came upon deck, and as 
 he leisurely walked aft, cast a glance over the quarter, 
 then stopped for a moment, looked up and around with 
 half-closed, inquiring eyes, then suddenly turning to the 
 officer of the deck, sternly demanded why he had not 
 obeyed orders. 
 
 " I told you, sir, to take possession of that ship and 
 keep her on my quarter." 
 
 Hawser respectfully touched his hat, and stammered 
 out that his commander would perceive, at a glance at 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 61 
 
 the chase, why it was out of his power to obey orders, 
 as there she is, dead ahead, under bare poles, and rather 
 farther off than when she took in all sail. 
 
 "What do you say?" And he mounted the horse- 
 block, and gazed long and intently through his glass at 
 the object of general wonder. 
 
 "What is the report from aloft?" The report was 
 briefly given, that the strange vessel was a beautiful ship, 
 taunt rigged, man-of-war fashion, no guns, and going 
 through the water two feet to our one. 
 
 " It is not a steamer, sir," added the officer, " as she 
 has neither paddle-wheels nor smokepipe, but decks 
 apparently clean fore and aft, as our own." 
 
 " But there, sir, she is hauled up dead into the wind's 
 eye ; look how she scatters the spray from her bows — 
 it flies clear over the foreyard." 
 
 " Brace forward the yards. Try her with as many 
 of those guns as you can bring to bear." 
 
 Some twenty of the larboard forward guns were dis- 
 charged in quick succession at the sailless stranger, who 
 still continued her phantomlike progress, bounding over 
 the seas, with the buoyancy of a cork and the speed of 
 a race-horse, regardless of the salute which had dashed 
 up the water within a few fathoms of her bright hull. 
 The lower-deck guns were now cleared away, and as 
 many more of the heavier ordnance slowly and delibe- 
 rately discharged. The stranger was still out of reach, 
 though one or two balls, fired at the greatest practicable 
 elevation were observed to drop into the water in her 
 wake. The guns of every tier were tried in succession, 
 but without effect. In the meantime the stranger, during 
 all this uproar and cannonade on our part, had run far 
 to windward, entirelv out of reach of the heaviest cannon 
 
62 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 from our ship. We then put about, and the same effort 
 made with every gun from the whole starboard broad- 
 side in succession. 
 
 " There goes her flags, sir, at the fore and mizzen 
 peak, and a signal from the main." 
 
 " What flag is it V 
 
 " The stripes and stars." 
 
 " And can you make out that one upon the main V 9 
 
 " Yes sir : — Prince — , I think — aye, now it runs out 
 clear in the breeze — Princeton." 
 
 " Ah ha !" said the admiral, and he consulted a book 
 with a blue cover, which was handed to him, " why 
 that's the fellow that beat the Great Western a year or 
 so back ; no wonder we could not overhaul him ; you 
 might as well attempt to give chase to a norther. Heave 
 the ship to, perhaps that light-heeled gentleman may 
 come within range ; if not, bear away and let's leave 
 him." 
 
 The boatswain's whistle resounded over our deck, and 
 that manoeuvre was performed almost at the word. But 
 the Princeton appeared in no way desirous to comply 
 with our wishes, and had assumed a position directly to 
 windward. An alteration had evidently taken place in 
 her upper works, a portion of the bulwarks removed, 
 and some huge engine, with the aid of our glasses, was 
 perceptible upon her deck. 
 
 A broadside was then discharged from our lower, 
 middle and upper decks. We all watched the balls ri- 
 cochetting from wave to wave, and saw them again and 
 again, one after another, fall short some hundred fathoms 
 of the mark. The head of the steamer was then turned 
 towards us, and at about the place where our shot had 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 63 
 
 dropped harmlessly into the water, rounded to, and again 
 resumed her former position, broadside on. 
 
 At the same instant that an order was given to fill 
 away, a sheet of flame burst forth from the deck of that 
 infernal sailless craft, with a cloud of white rolling 
 smoke, and simultaneously, with a roar like thunder, a 
 ponderous ball of iron crashed through the side of our 
 ship, tearing a hole in her sides that a Yorkshire farmer 
 might drive a team through, ripping up the decks and 
 timbers, scattering splinters in every direction, dismount- 
 ing a half dozen guns, crippling the mainmast, and kill- 
 ing and wounding fifty men. 
 
 " Don't you think he has neared us ? It will never do 
 to be idle this way." 
 
 And again were all our batteries discharged at the 
 foe. The repercussion of that cannonade had scarcely 
 ceased reverberating from wave to wave, when another 
 crash, accompanied by the same terrific peal, like thun- 
 der, came in abaft the foremast, passing through and 
 through both sides of the ship, tearing up the transverse 
 beams, and dismounting four heavy guns. The shrieks 
 and groans of the wounded, seldom or ever heard or 
 attended to in the din and excitement of battle, now rung 
 through the vessel ; but the silence of our own batteries, 
 and the stern discipline of the crew, who stood to their 
 stations with folded arms and compressed teeth, made 
 every shriek and groan audible. The smoke from that 
 terrible engine had now floated down upon us, and for 
 a moment hovered over our decks as if to survey the 
 scene of slaughter and destruction, ere another missile 
 was sent to complete the havoc. 
 
 The Princeton had now taken a position which would 
 
64 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 throw her shot diagonally through our ship. The con- 
 sequences from such a shot were at once appreciated by 
 our commander, and prompt orders given to present our 
 full broadside; but ere that could be done, it came, and took 
 us directly under the starboard fore chains and passed 
 out forward of the larboard mizzen chains, shattering the 
 already crippled mainmast, which for a moment tottered, 
 and then, with a rushing sound, as it cleaved the air in 
 its fall, crashed over the side into the sea, with all its 
 hamper, tearing up the deck, and killing many who had 
 escaped the splinters strewn about by the mass of iron 
 which hurtled through the ship. Two hundred and fifty 
 men were killed and wounded by that last blow. The 
 middle gun deck, from the foremast to the mizen, was a 
 perfect wreck ; the shrieks of the wounded and dying 
 were appalling. I have seen less havoc and slaughter 
 on board a ninety, after two hours' work, side by side, 
 with an antagonist of the same weight of metal. In a 
 fair fight, blow for blow, the blood is up and kept warm, 
 and death, in all its horrible and ghastly shapes, is dis- 
 regarded ; but to be plugged into like a floating target, 
 with no chance to return the salute, is horrible ; and yet 
 our poor fellows, as I said, behaved nobly ; not a mur- 
 mur, though it was apparent to all, we were at the mercy 
 of a foe who might demolish us at a single blow, or de- 
 liberately experiment upon our shattered hull. We 
 watched with feverish anxiety for the next flash. No 
 one knew where it would strike. For my own part, I 
 hoped it would take us between wind and water, and 
 finish the business.* 
 
 * This sketch was written some time before the unfortunate accident 
 on board the Princeton at Washington, and however much we may de 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 65 
 
 " Here it comes—there's the flash— look out, boys !" 
 and the next moment it passed over our heads, a few- 
 feet above the hammock-netting, with a noise like the 
 clatter of ten thousand topsail sheet-blocks. Nearly a 
 mile to leeward it dashed up into the air a pyramid of 
 foam and spray as high as the maintop of a frigate; then, 
 after scooping up some tons of brine, and crushing it 
 into vapour, sank into the bosom of the deep, to communi- 
 cate with its bloody associates, that had done such havoc 
 to our ill-fated ship. 
 
 Whether this was intentional or not we could not then 
 say. I, for one, confess I felt grateful for the " miss." 
 As the others had been plumpers, we had no reason to 
 believe otherwise than that it was a merciful warning, 
 which our foe had been pleased to afford us. 
 
 The breeze had now freshened, and with it a sea had 
 got up, which made the Thunderer roll heavily. The 
 guns broke loose from their shattered carriages, and 
 were crushing the bodies of the slain and wounded. 
 Several explosions of powder had taken place below, and 
 the alarm of fire was sounded. Altogether, the scene 
 upon the first, middle and third gun decks was one which 
 will never be effaced from my memory. 
 
 The old admiral still remained at his post, giving his 
 orders w T ith the greatest coolness, occasionally muttering 
 to himself — 
 
 " Yes, I believe the question is settled — there is no more 
 glory in naval battles. In future we shall have to draw 
 
 plore that event, it has, in the opinions of all, proved nothing, but that 
 the piece was defective : the same accident has occurred repeatedly on 
 board our men-of-war. A gun burst on board the Frigate President, by 
 which Commodore Rodgers was wounded and some ten men killed. 
 
66 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 lots for the first shot. But, as long as my name is old 
 Bluewater, curse me if I'll be the first to strike the flag 
 of one of Her Majesty's first-rates to a boat with one 
 gun, though that be as big as ten of Queen Anne's pocket- 
 pieces." 
 
 Nearly ten minutes had now elapsed since the last 
 shot, which had passed over us, and kicked up such a 
 dust under our lee ; and now the Princeton had taken a 
 position which would rake us fore and aft. Every mo- 
 ment we expected to hear that enormous ball of iron 
 crushing through the stern, when she came down upon 
 us like a steed that had long been checked with a power- 
 ful curb. Our ship was crippled and no longer obeyed 
 the helm, and rolled heavily in the trough of the sea, at 
 every heave shipping tons of water through the shattered 
 sides. We were sinking. All hands were now engaged 
 endeavouring to repair, in some measure, the damage, 
 when our terrible foe swept down like a hawk, within a 
 hundred fathoms of our stern. 
 
 "What ship is that?" said an officer, through a 
 trumpet. 
 
 There was no reply upon our part. Hurried orders 
 were given to run aft some heavy guns. 
 
 " For the honour of the flag which still waves over us, 
 let us give him one shot before we go down," said the 
 old admiral. 
 
 "Is it your intention to continue this contest?" uttered 
 the same clear voice, " if it may be called such when the 
 fiffhting is all on one side. I have come down, sir, to 
 offer you any assistance you may require. I sent three 
 or four messengers on board of you, and one over your 
 heads. I hope the gallant commander of that once 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 67 
 
 magnificent vessel will see the necessity of sparing the 
 lives of his brave people. If your flag is not struck in 
 ten minutes, it will be my painful duty to send a shot 
 into your stern window, which I am free to confess will 
 split you in twain, like a ripe water-melon. You will 
 pardon the figure, but I am a plain sailor, and a Jersey- 
 man ; that fruit is familiar to me." 
 
 He then gracefully touched his hat and waved his 
 bright trumpet. As if by magic, his matchless craft 
 quickly whirled round, and in less time than I have taken 
 in the description, was a mile from us, as if impelled 
 through the water by the will alone of her commander. 
 
 A council of war was now held upon the quarter-deck, 
 and after hearing all the reports of the condition of the 
 ship, and being convinced that she would not float an 
 hour longer, it was finally determined, though with great 
 reluctance, and terrible heartburnings, that the flag 
 should be struck. There were four hundred killed and 
 wounded, out of a crew of twelve hundred brave fellows, 
 when we first fell in with this steamer. It would have 
 been worse than cruelty to sacrifice the lives of the gal- 
 lant fellows, as a target to be cut down by a foe from 
 whom we could neither fly nor bring to close quarters. 
 On my way from the execution of my melancholy duty, 
 I passed an old tar, whose legs were dreadfully shattered 
 by one of the heavy guns which had broken loose. 
 
 " How goes it, Jack V 1 
 
 " Well, your honour; I believe I've got my discharge 
 in full ; but, before I go, just tell an old shipmate where 
 all those three-deckers were that have been hammering 
 at us, tripping up the heels of some three hundred jovial 
 fellows, knocking ten parts into one, besides making a 
 
68 STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 
 
 brig of a first rate ; for, blast me, if all of us, han't been 
 blinking like injens through the ports, but I'm blowed if 
 I ever laid eyes on any thing but the maintop of the 
 Thunderer. Thank you for tipping an old salt a flipper, 
 just as he's going to slip his wind ; but it would greatly 
 relieve my mind if — " 
 
 Death had laid his cold hand upon poor Jack. He felt 
 he must obey the summons ; and then raising his bloody 
 hand, he murmured a faint " Hurra ! for old England," 
 and expired without a groan. 
 
 Our flag was struck just as the fourth bell tolled. The 
 Princeton came down, whirled round our immense and 
 shattered hull, as if to survey the havoc she had done. 
 It was like the winged eagle hovering round the carcass 
 of the dying lion. 
 
 In a few minutes, the boats of both vessels were out ; 
 and in a short time, all hands were transferred to the 
 Princeton. Soon after the last boat-load had quitted the 
 sinking ship, she keeled over — settled down by the stern 
 — a column of water burst up from her decks and spouted 
 into the air to a great height, and ere it fell again in 
 showers, the Thunderer man-of-war had disappeared 
 beneath the dark waters, which now rolled unbroken, 
 where, but a few moments before, had floated a model 
 of nautical strength and beauty. 
 
 It is impossible for me, under my present state of mind, 
 to give you a description of the wonderful ship which 
 destroyed our three-decker. At some future time I will 
 do so. We have been treated with every kind considera- 
 tion. The old Admiral has become a perfect convert to 
 all the theories of our gallant captor, whose vessel is as 
 
STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 69 
 
 remarkable for comfort and convenience as efficiency in 
 battle. 
 
 I have taken passage in a packet-ship for England, 
 and hope soon again to take you by the hand, where we 
 will discuss these matters over a cool decanter. 
 
 Such is my horror of steamers, however, that it will 
 be a long while before I shall look upon one without re- 
 calling to mind the scenes I witnessed on board the ill- 
 fated Thunderer. Truly yours, 
 
 Fitz Roy Fitz Gubbins. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS BETWEEN HOME 
 AND CHINA. 
 
 PART I. 
 
 Let landsmen praise the shore — the sea — the sea — 
 
 So bright and pure and varied, — give to me ; 
 
 In calms so smooth and lustrous, and in storms 
 
 So wild its motions, and so grand its forms, 
 
 Each moment wakes a new and thrilling grace, 
 
 As glow successive charms on beauty's speaking face. 
 
 Anon. 
 
 THE INDIAN OCEAN AFTER A STORM SCENES ON THE DECK 
 
 OF A MERCHANTMAN — CAPE PIGEONS AND ALBATROSSES 
 
 A WHALE DESCRIPTION OF THE BIRDS OF THESE SEAS 
 
 A MYSTERIOUS VISITER — SCENE BETWEEN A MONKEY AND 
 
 THE MYSTERIOUS VISITER STRANGE APPEARANCE OF THE 
 
 SEA AT MIDNIGHT. 
 
 i Our gallant little ship had behaved most nobly 
 throughout the late storm, and we were now quietly 
 but quickly gliding along under all sail, impelled by one 
 of those charming and comfortable breezes that a sailor 
 loves, that keeps all full, tight as a board, and steadies 
 the ship, as she divides the dark blue wave with her 
 cleaving bow, and scatters it aside in sheets of milk- 
 white foam — hissing, boiling, and effervescing as it 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 71 
 
 rushes past her bright side, marking her track for many 
 a long mile upon the waste of waters. 
 
 The accustomed duties of the ship were renewed, all 
 were busy at their respective labours. The carpenter, 
 a tall, raw-boned, methodical fellow, whose equanimity 
 was never disturbed by calms or storms, had again 
 rigged out his bench, and while whistling his favourite 
 air, made the ribands fly from his jack-plane. The mate, 
 an old whaler, and as fine a fellow as ever trod the deck 
 of a merchantman, by the name of Gardner, was scan- 
 ning with critical eye the spars and sails aloft, occa- 
 sionally glancing at the compass, or gruffly demanding 
 of the helmsman, " how's your head, sir?' to which 
 polite inquiry, that individual would reply — not that it 
 was better or worse, but that his head was " no' no'th 
 east, half east," or the like, according to the course of 
 the ship. 
 
 The captain, who had never left the deck during the 
 late blow, was making up for lost sleep and fatigue in 
 his berth below, whilst my fellow-passengers and self 
 were industriously engaged with hook and line, endea- 
 vouring by these appliances to entice on board some of 
 the numerous birds that hovered round the vessel. 
 Sometimes these laudable efforts were rewarded by a 
 Cape pigeon, petrel, or albatross, getting entangled in 
 the numerous lines dragging astern. Great were the 
 rejoicings then, and cries of " hold on," " take care," 
 " haul in," until we had safely deposited our captive upon 
 deck, when a careful inspection of his plumage was 
 made, and a wondering where he came from last, what 
 island he inhabited, and whether he was married or 
 single, and had left a Mrs. Stormy Petrel at home, and 
 
72 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 a family of little Stormy Petrels. Sometimes the ques- 
 tion would arise, whether we had not got the old woman 
 on board instead of the gentleman. We would then 
 start him overboard again, troubling him or her with a 
 line tied to the feet, which would sometimes get entan- 
 gled with some of his aerial companions, and down they 
 would " tumble headlong into the billows below." 
 
 " Sail ho !" — said a small shrill voice, as if from the 
 clouds. 
 
 This startling enunciation came from " the boy Bill," 
 — who had been sent aloft to clear away one of the 
 royals, — a sturdy little fellow and a great pet on board, 
 and whose duty being like his namesake of Black-eyed 
 Susan notoriety, " high on the topmast head to climb," 
 was decidedly the most dangerous on board. 
 
 " Where away ?" quickly responded Gardner. 
 
 " Two points on the starboard bow, sir," replied the 
 small voice from mid-air. 
 
 Gardner scanned the horizon with a keen glance, then 
 turning to us, who were on the tiptoe of expectation, 
 with a smile and jocose air, cried out. 
 
 " You, sir, upon the fore-royal there ?" 
 
 " Ay, ay, sir." 
 
 " What's her rig ?" 
 
 " Can't see her now, sir." 
 
 "Look sharp dead to leeward, you scamp you," — and 
 then pointing to the direction last spoken of, he said, 
 " there she spouts — and a first-rate sperm it is. I have 
 seen the time, old fellow," (soliloquizing with his eyes 
 directed to the object,) " when a dozen boats well manned 
 would have been skimming over those waves to get at 
 your blubber." 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 73 
 
 About two or three miles off, a white jet of spray- 
 flew into the air, resembling very much a sail at a great, 
 distance, the next moment his huge carcass heaved 
 above the water, and slowly sunk from our view. It 
 was a large spermaceti whale, the first we had seen, 
 though we had now been on shipboard more than two 
 months, and had traversed both the Northern and South- 
 ern Atlantics, and part of the Indian Ocean. The birds 
 deserted us for this new visiter ; the track of the whale 
 was indicated by the flock which hovered in his wake, 
 but soon after one by one they returned to us, and re- 
 sumed their eternal gyrations and balancings round our 
 ship, occasionally tipping the wave with their ever un- 
 tiring wing, then soaring aloft and circling the vessel in 
 graceful and rapid sweeps. Some of these birds had 
 been so long in company with us, that the sailors had 
 nick-named them. One large black fellow, especially, 
 who had a feather out of place, as if dangling by the 
 skin, was dubbed "Old Quill-driver." I invariably looked 
 about for him early in the morning, and was sure to see 
 him, and had done so for three weeks past. Far, far from 
 any land, do these animals require no rest? have they 
 no home? We made acquaintance with "Quill-driver" 
 off the Cape of Good Hope, at least three hundred miles 
 to the southward of it, for we had given the Cape " a 
 wide berth," and now- we were not far from the coast of 
 New Holland, more than a thousand miles of longitude; 
 and there he was sailing about, sometimes ahead, now 
 astern, then dropping into the wafer head foremost to 
 pick up something that had caught his eye, again upon 
 the wing as fresh as ever. Throughout that terrible 
 
 6 
 
74 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 gale which had raged for three days and nights, he was 
 our constant companion. 
 
 Never shall I forget the grandeur of the scene on the 
 second day. Those magnificent rollers, known only to 
 the Indian Ocean, more than a mile from the summit of 
 one wave to the other. At one moment you are upon 
 the top of a high mountain wave crested with foam, the 
 next, scudding along a dark blue valley, as it were be- 
 calmed, compared with the fury of the wind which 
 howls through the strained cordage when upon the sum- 
 mit. So long as the wind keeps up, there is not much 
 danger in these seas, these immense waves seldom 
 breaking, but a sudden calm would be fatal. 
 
 During the whole of that storm, " Quill-driver" was 
 there, perfectly at home, skimming along the surface of 
 the abyss of wave, to avoid the fury of the wind, occa- 
 sionally abandoning himself to the gale, as if in sport, 
 before which he would sweep and dart like an arrow 
 shot from a bow T , then wheeling round with quivering 
 wing, stand as steadily before that tremendous blast as if 
 fixed to some invisible perch. The night succeeding a 
 dead calm, " Quill-driver" was missing, and we never 
 laid eyes upon him again. 
 
 Talking of birds, I may here mention a queer incident 
 which occurred after we had passed the Straits of 
 Sunda, and were in the China Seas. A white bird, 
 apparently with tired wing, fluttered for a moment round 
 the ship's head, and alighted upon the bowsprit. It 
 suffered itself to be taken without the slightest resistance, 
 and was brought aft, apparently fast asleep, and was 
 placed upon the spare booms on the long-boat, and by 
 general consent remained there undisturbed. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 75 
 
 There was something so confiding in the manner of 
 the visit, such apparent utter prostration, the appeal was 
 irresistible. The story was told at a glance; "I am 
 weary and sorely wounded, all I ask is rest for my tired 
 wing — for many days I've been abroad upon the waters, 
 and there was no land." 
 
 His body was a pure white, and about the size of a 
 tame pigeon, but his most striking feature was an uncon- 
 scionable long and heavy bill, almost twice the length of 
 his own body. The renowned and classic nose of 
 Slaukenbergius would sink before it into comparative 
 insignificance. So entirely disproportionate to the appa- 
 rent strength of the proprietor, it was a wonder how it 
 could be carried ; and for what purpose it was applied by 
 the owner, remains an undeveloped mystery. Various 
 and entertaining were the speculations upon this inte- 
 resting subject by the bystanders. In addition to this 
 phenomenon, upon the snow-white breast of this 
 " observed of all observers," there were stains of blood, 
 fresh and as yet uncongealed. Where did he get that 
 wound 1 what a bill ! One drily suggested the proba- 
 bility of his being a collector, and that some vagabond 
 " albatrosses," " noddies," and dissipated " boobies" had 
 been feathering their nests at the expense of his 
 employer, and upon presentation of that awful bill, they 
 to a man had turned upon him, and by a sort of Lynch 
 law endeavoured to settle his account for ever. 
 
 The mate observed he was " all sham, with a heavy 
 bill of lading and no stowage." The carpenter delibe- 
 rately took out his foot rule, whistling the while, measured 
 it, gazed intently at it for a moment, shook his head, and 
 was again whistling and peeling off ribbons with his 
 
76 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 jack-plane. Dreary and unpleasant associations floated 
 into memory of old tavern bills as yet unsettled at New- 
 buryport. 
 
 The boatswain, a tough old sea dog and thorough- 
 bred sailor and man-of-war's-man, by the name of 
 Hanse, born at Philadelphia near the Swedes' Church, 
 and claiming to be a descendant of the ancient Swedes, 
 and for that reason a particular favourite of mine, mut- 
 tered and growled out something about " a d d queer 
 
 rig, all bowsprit and no hull." Upon being questioned 
 as to his opinion of the matter, after replenishing his jaws 
 with an enormous quid of tobacco, and hitching up his 
 trowsers, he oracularly declared his opinion without any 
 qualification that " that ar chap was broke down because 
 he was too much by the head ;" then suddenly clapping 
 his hands to his mouth to make a speaking-trumpet of 
 them, he roared out, "Bird ahoy, bird ahoy, I say !" He 
 waited a moment or two, but observing no indication on 
 the part of him of the bill to respond to this delicate and 
 truly appropriate application, turned to us, and with a 
 melancholy smile observed, " he's done up," and then, as 
 he rolled off, indignantly and vehemently declaimed 
 against " any craft's sailing under such a trim, and such 
 a thundering marlinspike fished on to his forehead." In 
 the mean time, the tired stranger with the mysterious 
 spot of blood upon his snow-white breast, and portentous 
 bill, remained with closed eyes, apparently fast asleep, 
 and perfectly oblivious to all that was passing around 
 him : and so he remained during all that day and night, 
 immovable and lifeless as a prepared specimen by an 
 ornithologist. 
 
 At Java Head, the ship was surrounded by Indian 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. ?7 
 
 canoes filled with fowls, fruit, birds, and monkeys ; every 
 man on board had become the proprietor of one or more 
 of those last mentioned animals: the ship was thronged 
 with these vivacious gentry. The inmost recesses of 
 the long-boat, stowed amidships and filled with barrels 
 and old junk, was their grand retreat, from which they 
 occasionally made sallies upon the surrounding districts, 
 and when hotly pursued by their foes, fled to these fast- 
 nesses, and though poked at with sticks and other formi- 
 dable weapons, yet seldom with any success. 
 
 Frequent were the complaints of Jack, that one of 
 these long-tailed grinning land-lubbers had run off with 
 his knife or tobacco-box : and many vain attempts 
 to force the party to submission or restoration of the pur- 
 loined property by means of those gentle appliances 
 aforementioned, accompanied by divers amiable ejacu- 
 lations, in w T hich the souls of that particular monkey and 
 all other monkeys, long-tailed or short-tailed, were con- 
 signed to everlasting perdition. In the meantime, the 
 chattering delinquents could be heard chuckling over 
 their spoils, a hundred little sharp eyes peering out from 
 every crevice, and with impudent grins, hurling back 
 defiance to their adversaries, in their own peculiar style 
 of eloquence. 
 
 There was one of these depredators particularly 
 remarkable for his boldness, skill and dexterity, the 
 acknowledged leader of the whole gang of outlaws. The 
 crew were all engaged forward; the steward, their 
 natural enemy, was preparing his dishes ; the cook, busy 
 at his galley, whilst the captain and mate were intently 
 engaged in taking observations. A general silence pre- 
 vailed, occasionally broken by the flapping of the sails, 
 
78 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 the creaking of the rudder head, and the cry of" mark" 
 by the mate, to minute the observation for the benefit of 
 the assistant party below examining the chronometer. 
 At this moment I saw our vivacious friend of the long- 
 boat emerge from his hiding-place, and after making a 
 careful survey of the premises, commence an examina- 
 tion of the person of him of the bill. The scrutiny was 
 long and intense ; twisting his body into every variety of 
 shape, now scanning the figure on one side, then on the 
 other, then scratching his own back, as if under a 
 momentary hesitation of what he should be at next. At 
 last, emboldened perhaps by the apparent lifelessness of 
 the object of his scrutiny, he thrust his queer little phiz 
 close to the head of the bird ; at this moment, not only to 
 my astonishment but evidently to the amazement of pug, 
 an eye slowly opened, and such a piercer ! concentrating 
 its rays full upon pug, who appeared to be fascinated by 
 its lustre ; but as the figure yet remained perfectly immov- 
 able, cunning, mischief, or natural audacity got the better 
 of any awe which that eye may have inspired, and he 
 commenced a very unceremonious assault, first upon the 
 bill, then the legs ; then observing the blood upon the 
 breast, he proceeded with great professional skill to 
 inspect- the wound, when the awful bill was slowly raised 
 on high, and descended slap upon the back of the officious 
 examiner, with the force of a pick-axe, accompanied 
 by a shrill scream, which startled every one on board. 
 Pug lay stretched out as if struck dead; whilst the 
 mysterious operator spread his wings, soared aloft, 
 wheeled off to leeward, for a while visible like a white 
 speck upon the blue expanse, and then faded from our 
 view for ever. But long ere this the monkey had reco- 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 79 
 
 vered from the first shock ; and was writhing about in 
 an agony of fright and pain, screaming and chattering, 
 and tumbling over head and heels, under the impression, 
 no doubt, that the glaring eye was watching the chance, 
 with uplifted beak, to give the coup-de-grace to his 
 small existence. Finally he scuttled off to his retreat, 
 and did not show his face for several days; but ever 
 after, when capering about or engaged in some mis- 
 chief, an imitation by any one of that awful scream 
 uttered by the mysterious stranger when he planted 
 the bill into his back, caused the little fellow to make 
 all sorts of grimaces expressive of disgust and terror, 
 and away he'd scuttle to the hiding-place. 
 
 The incident I have related was a delightful episode 
 in our monotonous life. And though a small matter, yet 
 none but he who has been confined on board a ship for 
 some months, and the greater part of that time out of 
 sight of land, can truly appreciate its value. 
 
 We had all retired to our respective berths, and I was 
 dreaming of home and my mother's cheerful fireside, 
 when I was suddenly awakened by an unusual tramping 
 over head. Coils of ropes as if hurriedly cast off from 
 the pins by the sailors, clattered upon the deck. The 
 ship, too, had altered her course, and evidently was 
 under easy sail, gently rolling from side to side. I con- 
 cluded a squall was coming up ; for we had now become 
 familiarized to almost every manoeuvre, and could tell 
 the meaning of any movement on the deck in the night; 
 yet I recollected how perfectly clear was the atmosphere 
 when we went below, without the slightest indication of 
 a squall or even a change of wind. I was about to turn 
 
80 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 myself again to sleep, when I heard the mate say, "How's 
 your head now," and the answer of the helmsman. A 
 silence prevailed for a few moments, which was inter- 
 rupted by the voice of the captain crying out, " Heave 
 again I" The next moment I heard the lead plunge into 
 the sea ; I leaped out of my berth ; the cabin was illumi- 
 nated by the reflection of a pale light through the cabin 
 windows. Upon reaching the deck, imagine my asto- 
 nishment at finding every thing in disorder; the ropes ah 
 cast off and strewn upon the deck, the maintopsail 
 aback, and the lower sails clued up ; the ship was 
 stationary, whilst the captain and mate were standing on 
 the bulwarks gazing upon the sea ; which was as white 
 as the purest milk.* 
 
 " What the d 1 is it?" said one; " there was no 
 
 bottom with two hundred fathoms." It had the strangest 
 and most unnatural appearance, and created those in- 
 describable sensations one always feels on suddenly be- 
 holding an object entirely out of our preconceived no- 
 tions of the order of nature. 
 
 As far as the eye could stretch, from the mast-head, 
 this unnatural appearance extended. Accustomed as 
 we had been for months, to the dark blue ocean, the 
 effect was startling and impressive ; it was strange and 
 unaccountable. In vain did we perplex ourselves with 
 a solution of the mystery. The atmosphere was un- 
 clouded, the magnificent constellation of the cross spar- 
 kled with its usual brilliancy, beside its strange dusky 
 
 * Since the publication of the above, the author has been informed by 
 
 Captain R , a veteran and skilful China trader, and who has made a 
 
 dozen voyages from Philadelphia to Canton, that more than once he has 
 witnessed the same phenomena. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 81 
 
 companion, the cloud of Magellan. All was as usual, 
 except the sea ; we were sailing in an ocean of milk as 
 white as a field of snow. This phenomenon continued 
 for nearly an hour, when we passed out of it, the sea 
 resumed its usual colour, and we were again upon our 
 course. The oldest sailor on board had never seen 
 the like ; it remains unaccounted for. I had taken the 
 precaution to fill a bucket with some of the water; but 
 upon examining it next morning, I could perceive no 
 difference between that and the ordinary sea water. 
 
 Afterwards, at Canton, when dining in company with 
 the celebrated Captain Ross, this circumstance was 
 mentioned ; he said he had seen something of the same 
 kind once himself, and thought as we did that he was 
 on a white sand bank, but that he could get no bottom 
 with several hundred of fathoms. Be it what it may, I 
 never shall forget the appearance of the sea that night, 
 and the strange undefinable feelings it inspired. 
 
PART II. 
 
 Land ho ! the watchful topman cries aloud, 
 
 Land ho ! re-echoes back the eager crowd ; 
 
 All spring aloft, with keen inquiring eye 
 
 To mark where ocean mingles with the sky — 
 
 At first it seems a faint, uncertain haze, 
 
 That mocks the sight — then meets the eager gaze — 
 
 Retires, returns, until a nearer view 
 
 Reveals an outline of unvaried blue. 
 
 St. Helena. 
 
 SUNRISE AT SEA — LAND HO ! DESCRIPTION OF A SHIP UNDER 
 
 FULL SAIL, AND A SPANKING BREEZE — SEA SICKNESS 
 
 THE COAST OF JAVA — MISTAKE WINDROW BAY FOR THE 
 
 STRAITS OF SUNDA ESCAPE SHIPWRECK MALAY PROAS 
 
 MASSACRE OF THE NATIVES BY AN ARMED BARQUE. 
 
 Upon approaching any of the numerous islands, how 
 anxiously did we inspect the chart for its precise posi- 
 tion, and examine every book in our possession which 
 treated of the navigation of this part of the globe, for 
 any description of the interesting spot. At dawn of 
 day I was upon deck ; the gallant Rosalie was cleaving 
 her way under a spanking breeze. The atmosphere 
 was as clear as crystal; Aurora had tinged the eastern 
 horizon with a soft mellow light, which was beautifully 
 contrasted with the dark blue sea, gemmed with innu- 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 83 
 
 merable jets of milk-white foam, that crested every 
 wave. Suddenly a bright ray streamed up almost to 
 the zenith ; star after star gradually faded away ; from a 
 soft yellow, the east was deepened to a bright orange, 
 and the god of day leaped forth from the bosom of the 
 ocean, gilding the summit of every glad wave that 
 danced and sparkled and clapped their hands with joy. 
 
 Who is there of God's creatures, at such a moment, 
 that would not bow down and inwardly adore his Crea- 
 tor? and what heart would not beat in fervent acknow- 
 ledgment of His glory 1 I felt it all, and mutely bowed 
 before that magnificent shrine. But mine was a season 
 when no one impression long chained the attention. 
 With what unalloyed enjoyment did I then gaze upon 
 the thousand novelties that daily occurred and delighted 
 me. Full of youth, spirit and animation, my blood 
 coursed through my veins with healthful rapidity. The 
 elasticity of limb had not yet been crippled by disease, 
 nor my heart and mind seared by affliction ; every thing 
 was couleur de rose. I was neither burthened with the 
 cares of life, nor oppressed with gloomy thoughts of 
 provision for the future. 
 
 Frank and manly in the expression of every feeling, 
 I imagined all to be governed by the same impulse. It 
 was not till late in after life, experience and closer con- 
 tact with the busy world dispelled those illusions. O, 
 happy days of youth ! with what melancholy pleasure do 
 I now review thy joyous existence. 
 
 " Land ho '."—said a voice from the fore-topgallant 
 mast-head. 
 
 " Where away V 9 shouted Gardner. 
 
 "Two points upon starboard bow, sir." 
 
84 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 "High or low land?' 
 
 " It looms high, sir." 
 
 " That's it," said the mate ; and as he came aft trium- 
 phantly exclaimed, " Huzza for my Lunar against all the 
 chronometers in the world." 
 
 In vain did I scan the horizon in the direction in- 
 dicated ; I could see nothing like land, nothing but a small 
 white cloud or two at a great distance ; and what did the 
 fellow mean by saying " it loomed high V 
 
 "You won't see it for two hours yet," said Gardner, 
 clapping his hand upon my shoulder ; " those clouds are 
 land clouds though ; look at them well, that you may 
 know them again ; we sailors can distinguish them at a 
 glance." 
 
 I hurried down the companion-way, and found my 
 fellow-passengers, and Captain M., commander of the 
 Rosalie, — as fine a seaman as ever sailed on board a 
 merchantman, and as kind and good as skilful, — all busy 
 with chart and compass. Again we were upon deck; 
 something to disturb the monotony of the voyage was 
 about to occur, beyond the usual daily incidents ; some- 
 thing to look at and talk of besides the winds and 
 waves. 
 
 I thought I could perceive, after intently gazing upon 
 the horizon, something that bore the semblance of a faint 
 blue cloud ; then it would vanish, again reappear, but 
 nothing definable. 
 
 I climbed the bowsprit, and amused myself with look- 
 ing back upon our gallant craft as she gracefully rose 
 upon the swell, rearing her bright prow high above the 
 water as if to spring over the wave, then plunging deep 
 into the brine, ploughing it aside in a cataract of foam. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 85 
 
 Upon the bowsprit of a fine ship, with every sail draw- 
 ing, it is a gallant sight to observe her motions, as she 
 divides the opposing fluid. There is something so in- 
 vigorating in the bounding motion of the vessel as she 
 springs beneath you like an impatient steed, something 
 so soothing also, in the unceasing roar of the torrent ; a 
 conviction that you are rapidly progressing on your 
 journey, which from any other part of the ship is not so 
 perceptible. But to enjoy this, the passenger must be 
 familiarized to the sea. He must have passed through 
 all the horrid ordeals a landsman invariably suffers, and 
 almost forget the feel of terra firma. Mine was a severe 
 one : twenty days' sea-sickness without the ability to 
 swallow any thing but soup, whilst the mates and cap- 
 tain were devouring pounds of beef and pork with the 
 most disgusting self-complacency. I looked upon them 
 as so many cannibals ; all this too, with no sort of sym- 
 pathy for your sufferings ; on the contrary, your agony 
 is to them a source of amusement. There is but one 
 being to whom you can confide your miseries, to whom 
 you can call for aid, and that is the steward — you are 
 again in all the imbecility of childhood, " mewling and 
 puking in the nurse's arms ;" you cry to him and for 
 him, day and night — he is your only friend. I never 
 heard that he ever had any other name. I believe he was 
 born on board ship and christened Steward. Even he, 
 kind-hearted fellow as he was, would sometimes nearly 
 throw me into convulsions with some well-meant but 
 horrid suggestions about the propriety of tasting a leetle 
 lobscouse, or sea pie, which proposition had the same 
 effect upon me, that I should suppose the offer of a 
 tumbler of water would have upon the nervous system 
 
86 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 of a patient in the last stages of hydrophobia. All this 
 you must pass through and more ; you will detest the 
 sight of the sea, and yet be compelled fifty times a day, 
 horridly to gape over the ship's side, with straining eyes, 
 at its undulating surface, which looks like an unfathom- 
 able dose of salts and soda. It is a sensation which 
 cannot be described ; such a total prostration of strength, 
 such collapsing, sinking, and turning inside out, like a 
 damp kid glove : there is but one feeling of intense 
 misery, and I really believe that if they had told me the 
 ship was foundering upon a rock, I should have rejoiced 
 at the prospect of her being still, at all events, for a few 
 moments before I expired. 
 
 After you have been long at sea, there is a strange 
 undefinable fear upon approaching land, especially in 
 remote regions, only occasionally visited by the enter- 
 prising navigator on his way to some commercial mart. 
 In the broad ocean, a sailor is always ready for a conflict 
 with wind or wave. He there relies upon the faith of 
 his nautical skill and the powers of his ship ; but what 
 sunken rocks and yet unexplored shoals, may not lay 
 treacherously in his path upon an unfrequented coast ! 
 Such were my feelings upon approaching the great Asiatic 
 Archipelago, and I believe the like sensations existed, 
 though not expressed, in the hearts of all on board. The 
 land was now clearly visible to my inexperienced eye — 
 an undulating line of mountain peaks and rounded hills. 
 With what delight did I gaze upon it — the first view to 
 me of a new world. How I should love to traverse those 
 shores, scale the mountain-side, and penetrate the solitary 
 glen, where nature in all her primeval beauty reigns in 
 solitary grandeur, as yet untrodden by the foot of man. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 87 
 
 The most uninteresting coast in the world, in point of 
 scenery, is that of North America. Upon approaching 
 it any where between Maine and Florida, the trees are 
 the first objects that are seen. If it were not for the re- 
 gularity of the soundings, the approach would be ex- 
 ceedingly dangerous. The coast of South America, with 
 its magnificent mountains, twelve thousand feet high, 
 rising at once from the bosom of the ocean, can be seen 
 by the approaching navigator at a great distance. So 
 it is also upon the coast of all the islands of the Sunda 
 group. Java, which we were now approaching, is one 
 of the most magnificent islands in respect to scenery in 
 the world. The mountains are clothed to the summits 
 with the richest vegetation, which descend sometimes to 
 the water's edge. Groves of gigantic palms, the pal- 
 metto, and the graceful cocoa, wave their branches over 
 the sea that bathes their trunks. 
 
 A heavy long swell now was setting in towards the 
 shore from the Indian Ocean, thundering amongst the 
 rocks, leaping up the craggy precipice, and pouring 
 down its sides in a perfect cataract of milk-white froth 
 and foam. The trees bent and bowed to the retiring 
 flood and sprung again to their upright position, again to 
 be threatened by the succeeding roller. Every point 
 and cape, and inlet, teemed with interest, and presented 
 every variety of form, changing with the advancing mo- 
 tion of the vessel. Far above us, capped with clouds, 
 was a magnificent mountain, frowning in gloomy gran- 
 deur upon the scene. As we passed a point of land, 
 a waterfall burst upon our view — a mountain torrent 
 leaping from a precipice of dark rock, prone into the 
 sea ; we clapped our hands with ecstasy. It was all 
 
88 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 that was wanted to give a finish to the magnificent pros- 
 pect, ft was a scene of perfect enchantment. I was 
 wrapped in wonder and delight : it was worth travelling 
 ten thousand thousand miles to see. At this moment 
 my attention was attracted to the officers of the ship, 
 who appeared to be in doubt and uncertainty. 
 
 " Mr. Gardner," cried the captain, who was pacing 
 with hurried and uneasy step the quarter-deck, "you 
 have been here before?" 
 
 "Yes, sir — once in the William White, and once in 
 the Tea Plant." 
 
 " Which do you call the Friar's Rock, and which the 
 Cap?" 
 
 " There's the Friar to the right," pointing to a huge 
 rock, that looked like a colossal monk in full canonicals; 
 "you can run within biscuit's throw of it. There's the 
 entrance to the straits." We passed the point, and swept 
 into a bay ; the water suddenly became green as grass; 
 a large yellow and green speckled snake was lazily float- 
 ing by the ship, but ere I could cry " look there !" within 
 twenty yards of our starboard bow, an immense dark 
 rock heaved into sight: the water poured off of its slip- 
 pery surface, — a coming roller engulfed it from our view. 
 We were now becalmed, and the ship rolled regardless 
 of the helm. A current was evidently rapidly setting 
 into this bay. The surf, which was not more than three 
 cable-lengths from the ship, pealed upon the beach with 
 the roar of thunder. 
 
 Every one was now alive to the impending danger. 
 " Hard a port, with your helm, sir ! — hard up, I say," 
 cried the captain. "Clear away the anchor — move — 
 jump, I say — get out a boat — clew down the jib — let 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 89 
 
 fall the spanker," and many other commands were ut- 
 tered in quick succession. At this moment, as if from 
 a rift in the mountain, a stiff breeze whistled through the 
 cordage. " Brace round those yards ! hold on to every 
 thing !" The Rosalie whirled round before the blast and 
 scud before it in the same direction she had entered — 
 w T e were again in deep water, and escaped from an im- 
 minent peril. We had mistaken Winrow Bay for the 
 Straits of Sunda, which has all the appearance of the 
 entrance to the Straits, and would deceive any one. 
 When we afterwards entered the Straits I was parti- 
 cularly struck with the similarity of the land marks. 
 But I never shall forget that awful grim rock that took 
 a peep at the Rosalie en passant, nor the thundering of 
 that terrific surf. 
 
 The scenery of the eastern coast of Java is indescri- 
 bably beautiful ; but the prospect of having your ship's 
 bottom stove in by a huge rock, or of your bones whiten- 
 ing those shores, or of their being made into drum-sticks 
 or fish-spears by some amiable Malay, is quite another 
 thing to talk about. 
 
 Flocks of tropic birds of every variety now flew over 
 the ship ; thousands of parrots and parroquets winged 
 their way to some lonely isle, chattering and screaming, 
 perhaps with surprise, as they passed over our heads. 
 Now and then a beautiful little land bird would rest his 
 tired wing upon the spars, and again make for his spicy 
 groves, from which he had perhaps been torn by some 
 rude blast. The air was perfumed with a spicy odour. 
 The gentle breeze that fanned our sails had no doubt 
 passed over many a sweet and leafy bower, or had rustled 
 through the lair of the tiger. Under its gentle influence 
 
 7 
 
90 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 we slowly wended our way northward, perfectly satis- 
 fied with our view of the interior of Winrow Bay, and 
 with no desire to revisit its uncivilized shores. 
 
 We here had the opportunity of seeing for the first 
 time one of those far-famed and wonderful boats, a Ma- 
 lay prowa, sailing " dead into the wind's eye" — a long 
 lateen sail, made of matting, almost as big as a ship's 
 main-topsail, rigged to a stump mast and supported by 
 a long bamboo yard. One side of this craft is perfectly 
 flat, like a boat cut in two from stem to stern ; it is pre- 
 vented from capsizing by an out-rigger of some very 
 buoyant material of equal length with the boat : the speed 
 with which these boats skim over the water, is truly 
 wonderful. With the aid of a telescope we could see 
 some grim-looking fellows sitting in a row to windward, 
 watching the motions of our vessel — they soon run out 
 of sight. They are represented to be a very treacherous 
 people, and frequent conflicts occur between them and 
 our traders in pepper, upon the adjoining coast of Su- 
 matra; but if the story be true that was told to me of 
 the conduct of one of my countrymen, they are perfectly 
 excusable in wreaking their vengeance upon us when- 
 ever they can do so with impunity. A certain captain 
 commanding an armed barque, whilst sailing along the 
 coast of Sumatra observed several hundred of the natives, 
 men, women and children, spearing fish, upon a shoal 
 that run out into the sea : he luffed up to w r ithin a hun- 
 dred yards of them, and in mere wantonness, poured into 
 the harmless and unoffending group, a broadside of grape 
 and canister shot, dyeing the sea with their blood. If 
 this story be true, the animosity of these people towards 
 our traders is easily accounted for, and any retaliation 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 91 
 
 perfectly justifiable; but the spirit of vengeance which 
 appears to animate these people against all foreigners may 
 with more likelihood be attributable to a terrible slaughter 
 of their countrymen, which we will have occasion to 
 narrate hereafter. 
 
 Having now run up to the latitude of the Straits of 
 Sunda, the ship was hove to for the night, that we might 
 make the passage by daylight. I turned into my berth, 
 and was soon dreaming of rocks and speckled snakes, 
 Malay provvas and spicy groves, jumbled together in all 
 sorts of wild fanciful forms. 
 
PART III. 
 
 Master. Boatswain! 
 Boatswain. Here, master : what cheer? 
 
 Master. Good. Speak to the mariners : fall to't yarely, or we run 
 ourselves a-ground — lester, lester ! 
 
 Tempest. 
 
 " No more they shrieked their horror, boom for boom ; 
 The strife was done, the vanquish'd had their doom." 
 
 ENTRANCE TO THE STRAITS OF SUNDA THE FRIAR ROCK 
 
 PRINCE'S ISLAND — WARLIKE EQUIPMENTS AND PREPARA- 
 TIONS FOR DEFENCE AMUSING SCENES ON DECK THE 
 
 STEWARD AND CONVERSATION WITH THAT WORTHY 
 
 ANGEIR POINT AND ANCHORAGE CAP ISLAND THE 
 
 WRECK OF THE PEKIN. 
 
 At the close of the last watch, the ship had shaped 
 her course for the Straits of Sunda. At dawn of day 
 the land, which had faded from our view the preceding 
 night, again loomed above the eastern horizon, dis- 
 playing a long line of coast of every variety of form, 
 from the conical-shaped hill, the peaceful undulating 
 vale, to the towering mountain capped with clouds, upon 
 whose summit 
 
 " Thunder holds her black tremendous throne." 
 
 As yet, distance had spread a veil over the landscape, 
 which was slowly lifting as we advanced under the 
 impulse of a steady western monsoon. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 93 
 
 From the azure obscurity, objects were gradually 
 shadowed forth into every variety of tint and colour. 
 The mountain's base, still sombre and Claude-like, was 
 beautifully contrasted with the bright summit tipt by the 
 first rays of the morning sun. 
 
 Whilst I was contemplating this novel scene with the 
 eye of a tourist, the officers of the ship were busy com- 
 paring every jutting cape and promontory and landmark 
 with the chart spread before them. 
 
 The Friar,* with cowl and gown, stood beside the 
 magnificent portals to the Oriental world. I gazed upon 
 that gloomy monument, bronzed by the hand of time, 
 and worn by the wave that for centuries had washed its 
 feet ; beneath whose shadow Vasco de Gama had 
 passed in doubt and uncertainty, bearing aloft that 
 sacred emblem, as yet to triumph over the barbaric 
 empires of the East. The heraldic banners of many 
 kingdoms now crumbled into decay, had passed in 
 review before this solitary sentinel upon his outpost. A 
 grim smile might be fancied to illume his features, now 
 gilded by the slanting rays of the rising sun, as the con- 
 stellation of a new world upon its azure field, waved 
 from the peak of the adventurous craft that glided past 
 him. With a strong breeze, aided by a current, we 
 swept by the numerous headlands, and many a rock 
 heaved up from the bosom of the ocean, by invisible 
 myriads of submarine architects, and hewn into the 
 grotesque by the attrition of the wave. All the senses 
 were freshened and invigorated by this proximity to the 
 land, 
 
 * A remarkable rock, about eighty feet in height, resembling a friar 
 in full canonicals.— Marsden. 
 
94 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 " A delicious odour profusely breathing from the spicy groves," 
 
 whilst the everlasting verdure of the hills, with a back- 
 ground of purple mountains rising, " stage on stage," far 
 above the fleecy clouds, softened the eye, so long 
 accustomed to the monotony of a boundless prospect. 
 
 We were fairly within the Straits — and had passed the 
 gates. For a moment an indescribable sadness came 
 upon my spirit, but a passing shadow like that which 
 yon white wreath of mist casts upon the bright and 
 ever-changing landscape. Visions of home and of my 
 mother, — more than half the waters of a convex world 
 between us. Shall I ever repass these portals ? or, have 
 they closed upon me and my native land for ever 1 
 
 To our left was Prince's Island, with a terrible reef of 
 coral rocks, upon which the last of the waves of the 
 Indian Ocean were spending their fury. For a short 
 time after we entered the passage, we still felt the influx 
 of those swells, but they soon subsided, and were, for 
 the first time for many, many days, upon a steady keel, 
 with hardly any perceptible motion. 
 
 All hands were busy getting up our warlike equip- 
 ment — tricing up a hammock-netting to the rigging — 
 grinding cutlasses, cleaning pistols, and arranging pikes 
 around the mast and spanker-boom. At that time, 
 vessels had frequently been attacked by piratical Malay 
 prowers, and upon several occasions a whole ship's 
 crew had fallen victims, slaughtered by these desperate 
 marauders. Amongst the green islands, that lined the 
 eastern shores, the dark sails of their wonderful craft 
 were seen darting past the trees, and running to wind- 
 ward with that surprising facility possessed by none 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 95 
 
 other sailing vessels, and for which and their miraculous 
 speed, they are called by seamen " Flying Prowers." 
 
 I could not but smile upon our formidable armament, 
 consisting of four guns, two of them fashioned out of an 
 old spar by the ingenuity of the carpenter, the other tw T o 
 a sort of nondescript species of dwarf ordnance, making 
 up for a deficiency in length by a proportionally lateral 
 extension, called carronades, in compliment, I suppose, to 
 " that grim ferryman that poets write of." They were 
 awful little fat apoplectic unwieldy fellows, with huge 
 gaping mouths, down which you could look into the 
 very pit of their stomachs, now empty, but to be 
 crammed with the most indigestible, though highly 
 seasoned matter imaginable. 
 
 After much toiling and rolling about, and holding on 
 to their stump tails, for these creatures had stump tails, 
 and much affectionate handling by the boatswain and 
 his assistants, they were finally deposited quite comfort- 
 ably at the port-holes, out of which they stared with 
 open mouths at the prospect. 
 
 " That's a young 'un," said old Hanse, shaking his 
 head pensively, " but awful spiteful little fellows. You 
 can stick a great deal into them little chaps, and just 
 tickle his tail with a red-hot poker, and he'll sneeze like 
 thunder. We had bigger fellows than these on board 
 * Old Ironsides,' but of the same breed, sir. They will 
 take any thing that comes handy," continued he, address- 
 ing the bystanders, " a round-shot, two stand of grape, a 
 marlinspike and a pump-chain — " 
 
 " Yes !" said the carpenter, who was whistling his 
 favourite tune with a business-like air, and with his foot- 
 rule thrust into the gaping mouth of the object of the 
 
96 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 general attention — " Yes !" said he, raising himself to his 
 full height, and regarding Hanse reproachfully — " You 
 fellows forrad there upon the spar-deck were sky-lark- 
 ing all the action, and wasting public property ; I heard 
 of yer — a heaving pump-chains into Bull ; you ought to 
 be ashamed of yourselves." 
 
 " Were you there too, carpenter ?" said I, becoming 
 somewhat interested in the conversation. He nodded his 
 head affirmatively. 
 
 " We were all there, except Robinson, him that we 
 ducked crossing the line." 
 
 I afterwards heard that the crew were all old man-of- 
 war's men, and first-rate sailors. 
 
 " Cook !" cried Gardner, " Cook !" — that greasy func- 
 tionary's head slowly protruded from his smoky domicile 
 — " heat a poker" — the head vanished, and so did the 
 mate, soon reappearing, however, from below with 
 ammunition, some of that indigestible food before spoken 
 of, which they proceeded to cram, with much jamming 
 and poking and hammering with mallets, down the 
 throat of the passive recipients. And now he of the 
 caboose was summoned to bring forth the tickler, which 
 was clutched by the old sailor, a mischievous expression 
 hovering round the corners of his eyes and mouth, such 
 as would light up the face of an overgrown schoolboy 
 about to perpetrate some joke. 
 
 " But hold on a moment, Hanse," cried the mate, 
 " you've stuffed too much in this chap, it's half out of the 
 muzzle." 
 
 The carpenter leaned over the bulwarks, took a sly 
 glance at the subject of the last remark, then screwing 
 his mouth on one side with a corresponding depression 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 97 
 
 of that eye, sticking his tongue at the same time into 
 the hollow of his cheek, he slowly walked off, chuckling 
 and wagging his head from side to side, as if he had 
 heard or seen some exquisite joke that required his 
 privacy for the full enjoyment. 
 
 " Bless your heart, sir," said Hanse, " they're used to 
 it, them fellows is," and then confidently, " he'll sneeze 
 it out. Shall I tickle his touch-hole before this poker 
 get's cold 1 M 
 
 " Go ahead, and be d — d to you !" which figurative 
 addition to the order was properly appreciated by Jack, 
 rather as a compliment than any malicious intent on the 
 part of the speaker to consign his soul to any future tor- 
 ments, viewed in the same light as Othello's 
 
 " Perdition catch my soul but I do love thee !" — 
 
 the same idea expressed by a sailor would not appear 
 quite so poetical. Be that as it may, the words had no 
 sooner passed his lips, when slap bang! such a roar ; a 
 volume of white smoke rolled forth, tumbling into all 
 sorts of fanciful shapes, the water raked up into a foam 
 by the grape-shot, whilst the ball could be seen skipping 
 from wave to wave, flashing up pyramids of spray, until 
 it crashed among the trees upon the shore ; but long ere 
 that projectile had reached its resting-place, the author 
 of all this uproar had turned tw T o or three somersets, and 
 now lay gasping upon his back, the smoke steaming from 
 his jaws as if overcome by the violent effort to disgorge 
 the load he had been crammed with. 
 
 " Didn't I tell you," said Hanse, " that these little fellows 
 were sneezers?" 
 
 " Turn him over, and see if he's hurt himself." 
 
98 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 " All's right, sir ; next time, sir, we'll hold him down 
 tighter." 
 
 These warlike appendages to our heretofore peaceful 
 deck were again fitted to their places, and, with the 
 addition of the two wooden " quakers," no doubt pre- 
 sented a very formidable appearance. 
 
 We had crossed, the equator in the Atlantic and de- 
 scended to a low latitude in the Indian Ocean; we were 
 again approaching the equator, being about six degrees 
 south ; the sun at mid-day was far from being insupport- 
 ably hot, as I was led to believe ; the air was fresh and 
 invigorating, tempered, no doubt, by the adjacent moun- 
 tains, which rose to a great height both upon the islands 
 of Java and Sumatra. 
 
 It would be an endless task to describe the various 
 interesting objects of the beautiful panorama which 
 passed before us. It was a combination of every kind 
 of enchanting scenery. I have viewed many magnifi- 
 cent prospects in different parts of the world, in which 
 one or two points of greater sublimity may have inter- 
 posed, but none that combined all the variety of the first 
 entrance into the Sunda group, and from thence to the 
 last passage between Borneo and Sumatra, and the 
 Malay Peninsula, ere you launch into the China Seas. 
 
 Towards night the breeze had nearly died away, but 
 we still moved slowly on, and about sunset reached An- 
 gier Roads, the usual anchorage-place for outward 
 bound East Indiamen. Preparations had been made for 
 casting anchor. The royals were taken in, top-gallant 
 sails clewed up, the lower sails long since, when at a 
 particular spot the fore and main-topsail halyards were 
 let go. The anchor plunged from the bow, dragging 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 99 
 
 the chain cable with such rapidity through the hawse- 
 holes that the ship trembled from stem to stern ; a silence 
 announced the fact of touching ground for the first time 
 on this side of the world ; after a few moments, the 
 gallant Rosalie swung round to her anchor and was 
 stationary. 
 
 What a charming party gathered round our table 
 that evening! The unwieldy frame- work, to secure the 
 plates and dishes from rolling off, was removed, can- 
 dlesticks placed parlour-wise upon a clear table, and 
 we looked forward to the morrow to see it adorned 
 with all the luxuries of fresh fish, fowls, fruit and vege- 
 tables. 
 
 " Steward !" 
 
 " Sir !" promptly responded that excellent fellow, who 
 was busily arranging his crockery in his sanctum, fami- 
 liarly known to us as his pantry, and from which, in 
 the early stages of the voyage, many a sickening com- 
 pound of tea, brown sugar, coffee, onions, cheese and 
 brandy had steamed forth upon our then too delicate 
 olfactories. 
 
 " Steward !" roared the same voice. 
 
 " Sir-er-r !" again responded that gentleman, trolling 
 out the word, jerking forth the middle of it with great 
 energy, and finishing with a dying cadence, that might 
 be interpreted either into the spirit of prompt obedience 
 or a curse upon the appellant's impatience. "I'm here, 
 sir," appearing the next moment with a bottle in one 
 hand and a napkin in the other. 
 
 " Steward !" 
 
 "Well, sir?" 
 
100 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 " Have you freshened a round of salt junk for dinner 
 to-morrow V 
 
 " Yes, sir — have had a piece out of the harness cask, 
 overboard from the bowsprit, dipping in the sea all day." 
 
 " Give it to the crew." 
 
 " Steward !" 
 
 " Sir !" 
 
 " Can you make turtle soup V 9 
 
 He of the pantry, instead of immediately responding 
 to this delicate inquiry, smiled mournfully, a slight ebul- 
 lition of feeling, checked by an habitual respect for his 
 superiors, glistened in his eyes and mantled round the 
 corners of his capacious mouth ; his vanity had been 
 touched in the tenderest point. — " Have I lived to be 
 asked that question 1 Can I make turtle soup ?" Then 
 casting down his eyes and surveying those ten interesting 
 little appendages, that had so often participated in his 
 wanderings from camboose to cabin, and from cabin to 
 camboose, dwelling fondly for a moment upon the 
 younger branches of that fraternity, worn down to a 
 stump with a laudable ambition to keep up with their 
 superiors, in which, to his then excited imagination, was 
 morally shadowed forth his own painful position, he 
 muttered abstractedly, " prehaps the gentlemen wouldn't 
 relish it with the calipatch cut in slices, some allspice, a 
 lemon, a dash of claret or old port wine, with seasoning 
 to suit. No — prehaps," continued he, with a deep sigh 
 and provoking air of doubt, as if soliloquizing, " ^rehaps 
 they wouldn't like the calapee fried in the shell, with 
 hard-boiled eggs, and grated biscuit, and force-meat 
 balls — prehzps — Oh no !" 
 
 " That will do, Steward," we all cried, " you're the 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 101 
 
 boy ;" and off he walked, mumbling something about, 
 " Do I know how to make turtle soup ? eggs, butter" — 
 
 " Steward !" 
 
 " Sir !" responded that distinguished functionary in 
 a tone subdued by feeling. 
 
 " Tell the carpenter to razee a couple of water-casks, 
 for I want to lay in a store to-morrow of fat turtle." 
 
 After amusing ourselves for some time, prattling of 
 the past and of various subjects incident to our position, 
 we ascended to the deck. A dead silence reigned 
 throughout the ship, interrupted only by the lapping of 
 the small waves against the sides of the vessel, and the 
 moaning of the night-breeze through the cordage. Along 
 the shore, which was shrouded in gloom, an occasional 
 light for a minute glimmered, then disappeared. It was 
 a beautiful night, and the southern constellations of the 
 Centaur, Cross and Argo, shone with singular lustre 
 upon the clear blue firmament. Now and then, a Malay 
 prower, silently and swiftly, like a phantom, darted 
 across the bows of our vessel, and glided over the 
 sparkling waters, silvered by the rays of a planet, and 
 quickly was lost from view in the deep shadows of the 
 mountain. These dark gliding objects were watched 
 with anxiety, and every preparation made to resist any 
 attack from a people that fatal experience had taught 
 the merchantman he was liable to at any moment. 
 
 Cap Island loomed in the distance obscurely, like an 
 immense dome: a spot rendered famous by the wreck 
 of the Pekin, an American merchantman, of the port of 
 Philadelphia, freighted with a cargo valued at more 
 than half a million of dollars. For the details of that 
 terrible disaster, I am indebted to the gentleman who 
 
102 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 was passenger and supercargo on board that ill-fated 
 vessel. 
 
 Whilst beating out of the Straits, on her return voyage 
 from Canton, on the afternoon preceding the night of 
 the disaster, the Pekin was spoken by a British sloop-of- 
 war, called the Proteus, and warned against so danger- 
 ous an experiment. Upon approaching Cap Island, 
 under a gentle breeze, with all sail set, and every pros- 
 pect of weathering it, the wind suddenly died away, and 
 it immediately became apparent to every one on board 
 that the Pekin was sweeping down broadside upon the 
 island, under the irresistible influence of a current run- 
 ning like a mill-race. 
 
 In a moment after she struck upon a rock, near the 
 bows, and heeled over — her yards touching the rocks — 
 which towered above the peak of the mainmast. And 
 there she lay, hanging by the bows, upon the pinnacle of 
 a rock, whilst from the stern no bottom could be found 
 with a line of eighty fathoms. Signals of distress were 
 made, by firing of guns and burning of blue lights, to 
 attract the attention of the British sloop-of-war, then at 
 anchor upon the very spot where the Rosalie now so 
 calmly reposed. They were not made in vain. The 
 gallant officer in command of that vessel quickly got 
 under way, and at dawn of day was ready to assist, 
 and, if possible, to save the vessel. 
 
 Such was the great depth of water near the wreck, 
 that the commander of the sloop-of-war was compelled 
 to bend on two cables before he could bring his vessel to 
 an anchor. The captain's boat soon came under the 
 stern of the Pekin ; as he approached, he could distinctly 
 'be heard, reading aloud the name of the ill-fated ship — 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 103 
 
 " « The Pekin, of Philadelphia.' Ha, ha, Brother Jona- 
 than, you've got it ! I told you so yesterday." 
 
 The water had made such progress in the hold of the 
 Pekin that she was settling fast, and fears arose that she 
 would sink stern foremost in deep water, and all hands 
 be swallowed up in the vortex. 
 
 Every exertion was now made by the hands, aided by 
 the crew of the British cruiser, to save as much of the 
 cargo as possible. 
 
 The teas, saturated with water, began to swell, lifting 
 up the decks and cracking the transverse beams. The 
 most costly silks, intended to adorn the person of many 
 a bright-eyed Yankee girl, now stained with sea water, 
 fluttered from the ropes and spars of both vessels. We 
 might with safety say, that no vessel of war was ever so 
 costly adorned as the British cruiser, not even the famed 
 barge of Cleopatra. Two hundred- thousand dollars 
 worth of the richest silks of China, of the choicest 
 colours, hanging in festoons from the highest pinnacle of 
 her tall masts to the decks, even the bulwarks and ham- 
 mock-cloths were lined with velvet, and a thirty-two 
 pound carronade peeped from beneath the folds of a 
 damask brocade. After they had become sufficiently 
 dried, they were crammed, in bulk, into the hold of the 
 Proteus. 
 
 The teas were thrown into the sea as fast as a hundred 
 hands could work. The ocean was dyed a deeper green. 
 Four hundred thousand dollars' worth of the choicest 
 teas, from the odoriferous Chulan to the pungent Imperial, 
 set to draw in that vast cauldron, sweetened with rock- 
 candy and creamed with the foam of the " white cap !" 
 If old Neptune ever filled his horn with that fashionable 
 
104 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 beverage, what a tea-party Amphitryon and the Tritons 
 must have had in their coral groves. We can ima- 
 gine the mermaids of the Asiatic Archipelago— combing 
 their tresses and preparing for a general submarine soiree, 
 whilst innumerable syrens chant a gleeful chorus in an- 
 ticipation of the coming joys. The inhabitants of the rock, 
 the while, had not been idle : every projecting branch 
 and jutty crag of the overhanging precipice was thronged 
 with spectators, mowing and chattering and grinning 
 at the novel and busy scene beneath them. The dandy 
 little ring-tailed monkey, and the solemn and sedentary 
 ape, with hinder parts all worn bare, thronged above, 
 or occasionally caught at a flying ribbon that flaunted 
 in their faces. Spectators of a more dangerous charac- 
 ter lined the shores of Sumatra, Java, and Crockatoa, 
 like jackalls ready to pounce upon the carcass so soon 
 as the royal beast should retire. Every cape and bay 
 thronged with the Malay craft, from the light and buoy- 
 ant bark canoe to the warlike prower, with its hundred 
 kreesed warriors, all thirsting for blood and plunder, — 
 many of that fierce band, that now moved in all the 
 vigour of savage manhood, soon destined to dye their na- 
 tive sea with their own blood, their mangled corses a prey 
 for the greedy shark or soaring vulture. 
 
 The Pekin was abandoned to her fate, the crew re- 
 mained on board the British sloop of war, where every 
 attention was shown to them by the gallant commander, 
 whose name, we regret, we cannot here record. As a 
 prelude to the subsequent event, and with a view to 
 extenuate, if possible, the conduct of the British officer 
 in the execution of that dreadful tragedy which to this 
 day is remembered by the natives of those islands, it 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 105 
 
 were well to mention, that some dreadful piracies had 
 occurred in those seas upon British and American mer- 
 chantmen. In several instances vessels had been boarded 
 in the night by Malays, and every soul on board put to tor- 
 ture and death and eaten. The cruelties and tortures suf- 
 fered by the helpless victims, before death, are too shock- 
 ing to narrate. With a view to suppress these piracies by 
 some signal blow of vengeance, the British Government 
 had sent a squadron into those seas, of which the Proteus 
 was a part. As yet, no opportunity had occurred to the 
 Admiral to carry out his instructions, but the wreck of 
 the Pekin was about to afford him the means of striking 
 a terrible blow. A few days after the incidents recorded, 
 the Proteus fell in with the frigate of the Admiral, and 
 after relating to him all the circumstances, orders were 
 given immediately to return to the wreck, and, if possi- 
 ble, to get her off. 
 
 The Proteus bore away for the wreck, but upon ap- 
 proaching Cap Island, to the astonishment and mortifi- 
 cation of the British captain, the Pekin had floated off 
 the rock upon which she had apparently been impaled, 
 and had drifted down upon the Goodwin Sands, where 
 she lay high out of the water surrounded by at least a 
 thousand canoes, the decks thronged with Malays, strip- 
 ping the vessel of every thing portable. Upon observing 
 the sloop of war rounding the point, advancing slowly 
 under her topsails, against a strong current, the plun- 
 derers deserted the wreck with the greatest precipitation, 
 and paddled off in a body for the Island of Sumatra. 
 The motion of the man-of-war was impeded purposely 
 by drags to deceive the flying fleet, which was now 
 crowded together, yet rapidly skimming over the water 
 
 8 
 
106 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 under the impulse of three thousand vigorous savages. 
 The moment they had fairly gained the middle of the 
 channel, a cloud of canvass covered the spars of the ad- 
 vancing cruiser, and she sprung through the water, steer- 
 ing directly for the centre of the fugitives, who were 
 now uttering wild cries of terror, scattering to the right 
 and left in doubt, dismay, and uncertainty, like a flock 
 of birds, into whose centre a devouring hawk had made 
 a swoop. Onw r ard came the terrible ship — her long 
 black hull cleaving through the water, which roared at 
 her bows like a cataract. Suddenly her main-topsail 
 was hove to the mast, a long line of red ports flew open, 
 from which protruded an array of bristling cannon : a 
 voice like that which at such a moment sounded to the 
 Malays as of a destroying angel, clear and piercing, 
 " trumpet toned," cried — " Port and starboard fire ! — at 
 the same moment a whole broadside of grape and cannis- 
 ter burst from her dark sides in sheets of flame, and with 
 the roar of thunder, tearing the water up into a foam, 
 and crashing amidst the canoes, which were now hid 
 from view by dense volumes of smoke. From that sul- 
 phurous canopy arose a yell of agony and terror, which 
 w r as heard even above the roar of artillery, which three 
 times, right and left, vomited forth fire and destruction 
 upon those miserable wretches. 
 
 From this field of carnage, slowly emerged the dark 
 hull of the grim warrior, now sated with blood — the cross 
 of St. George with its ensanguined field, fluttering 
 from her peak, and from the pinnacle of her tapering 
 masts — and was again upon her course ere the echoes 
 of that terrible cannonade had ceased reverberating from 
 shore to shore. Upon the dying and the dead, was 
 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 107 
 
 spread a thick dark canopy of smoke, as a pall upon the 
 blood-stained sea, which was slowly lifted by the return- 
 ing breeze, exposing all the horrors of the scene. A thou- 
 sand wretches had been hurled into eternity, whilst al- 
 most as many more were either wounded or floundering 
 in the water, a prey to the shark, the water lashed into 
 a foam by these monsters of the deep, struggling for their 
 prey. The blow had been struck, and a terrible one. 
 It had become absolutely necessary for the protection of 
 commerce to inflict a chastisement upon these marauders 
 that thronged the great highway to India and China — 
 whether it was too sanguinary or not, we must forbear 
 to form any hasty decision, but there is no doubt many 
 years passed away before any piracies occurred upon 
 those seas. 
 
PART IV. 
 
 " Look how the floor of heaven 
 Is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold ! 
 There's not the smallest orb that thou behold'st, 
 But in his motions like an angel sings, 
 Still quiring to the young-eyed cherubins." 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 NIGHT SCENE IN THE TROPICS SUNRISE A VISIT FROM THE 
 
 NATIVES OF JAVA TRADING FOR PROVISIONS DIALOGUE 
 
 BETWEEN BOATSWAIN AND ORIENTAL LOAFER A MALAY 
 
 DANDY ANTIQUITY OF THE JAVANESE SUPERSTITIONS 
 
 SECOND SIGHT ANCIENT TEMPLES THE BUFFALO'S SKULL 
 
 GENERAL ASPECT OF THE COUNTRY — THE CUP TREE. 
 
 For many hours did I remain upon deck, contem- 
 plating the silent glories of that tropical night. The 
 scene was novel, and of indescribable grandeur. I 
 could scarcely realize the truth of my position, so 
 sudden the transition from the common-place scenery of 
 the West. It seemed like one of those unaccountable 
 transformations in a dream. The tedious voyage across 
 the desert of trackless waters is forgotten — and fresh 
 with all the associations and habits inseparably linked in 
 with our life, and indelibly engraved upon our minds, 
 we tread the soil of another hemisphere, the antipode to 
 our own in every particular. The stars above are 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 109 
 
 strangers to me, and the earth beneath my feet. The 
 air we breathe so thick with the perfume of spicy groves. 
 Every thing around and above conspired to make deep 
 and lasting impressions, which time has not effaced. 
 
 The dark towering mountains whose giant shadows 
 stretched across the land and waters — "the thousand 
 isles," with their coral caves and rocks and murmuring 
 shores — the rich perfume borne through the dewy air by 
 the gentle breeze, that fanned my cheek and stirred my 
 hair, and gently agitated the beautiful sea. that sparkled 
 beneath the rays of a planet — the phantom-like craft 
 of the natives that glided past the headlands and then 
 were lost in the deep shadows — but above all, the clear 
 deep blue sky, with its celestial decorations, the con- 
 stellations of the southern hemisphere, heavenly lamps 
 hanging down, detached from the magnificent vault — 
 beyond which the eye can pierce into illimitable space; 
 whilst gazing, a sentiment of admiration and awe creeps 
 upon the spirit, and transports us at once into the bosom 
 of the Deity. 
 
 But for this elevating sentiment of the soul, the deep 
 sense of the humility of our insignificance would be 
 overpowering. 
 
 An inhabitant of northern climes cannot imagine 
 the brilliancy of the stars of the southern hemisphere — 
 the constellations of the Cross, Centaur, and Argo, 
 shine with such lustre as to distinctly mark your 
 shadow, and others of the first and second magnitude 
 can be observed rising from the horizon or descending 
 beneath it, their amplitudes or distances be taken as 
 accurately as the sun or moon. 
 
110 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 Many a bright planet that had adorned the zenith was 
 sinking beneath the wave or retired behind the distant 
 mountains ere I sought repose, with a determination, 
 however, to be up with the dawn and witness the sun 
 rise over those eastern hills. 
 
 So profound were my slumbers after the excitement 
 and fatigues of the day, that the sun might have risen 
 and run his diurnal course without the honour of my 
 presence, had it not been for the timely interference of 
 one who cared as little about the picturesque as a shovel- 
 nosed shark for an ice cream. One or two shakes from 
 that worthy fellow, whose merits I have before spoken 
 of, effectually aw r akened me, and I was soon breathing 
 the fresh morning air. 
 
 The numerous bays and islands were still in shadow. 
 The night mists were slowly rising from the valleys, and 
 curling up the sides of the hills, festooning the dark 
 purple mountains with fantastic wreaths, or flung like a 
 white scarf across the ravines. The brilliant white 
 daw r n of a tropical morning adorned the eastern horizon, 
 insensibly ascending the heavens as far as the zenith, 
 into a multitude of intermediate shades, from the mellow 
 tint of yellow to the rich orange, lively vermilion, and 
 deep violet, gorgeously resplendent, in a magnificent 
 series of harmonic contrasts. 
 
 From behind the dark peak of Crockatoa, which for 
 a moment glowed like a volcano, the sun rose in all his 
 majesty, and shed his glories upon the lovely landscape, 
 and animated every thing with his presence ; the waters 
 danced and sparkled beneath his beams — the groves of 
 palms waved their long branches in graceful salutation 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. Ill 
 
 to the morning breeze — and the clouds of the night that 
 had slept upon the hills, pierced by his salient rays, fled 
 westward in rolling scattered columns. 
 
 Flocks of tropical birds, with glittering plumage, 
 winged their way across the channel. The sea and 
 every bay was enlivened by the craft of the natives, 
 skimming over the surface with their long lateen sails, 
 or paddling from the shore to our ship. 
 
 I am sorry to confess that the beautiful and pic- 
 turesque were in a moment merged in visions of fat 
 turtle, fish, and fowl — and all my attention now was 
 turned to the approaching traders. There were at least 
 a hundred pulling from the shores, each canoe crammed 
 with every kind of fruit and vegetables, and live stock, 
 and in a few hours after they had been alongside, the 
 ship's decks were thronged with monkeys, parroquets, 
 fowls, and pigs, innumerable cages filled with Java 
 sparrows, and last, but not least in the estimation of 
 all, a dozen fat turtle flapping their white flippers upon 
 the forecastle. It was a sight to make an alderman 
 weep for joy. With affectionate respect did the steward 
 turn them about and comment upon their several 
 beauties, and finally determined upon the victim first 
 to be offered up as a propitiatory sacrifice to our 
 appetites. 
 
 There was one of the natives who had outstripped his 
 companions in the canoe-race from the shore to our 
 vessel. He brought nothing with him to trade or sell, 
 and consequently had a great advantage over his com- 
 petitors, whose canoes were full of truck. When this 
 worthy reached us, and had fastened his frail bark to the 
 
112 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 mizzen chains, he crawled on board in the most unsailor- 
 like manner imaginable. From the folds of a dirty, 
 ragged garment, that reached halfway down his miser- 
 ably thin legs, he lugged out a stone bottle, emphasizing 
 at the same time a word of one syllable, which at once 
 developed his character and wants. " Rum," said he, 
 addressing the boatswain with great respect, thrusting 
 the jug at the same time in his face, who returned the 
 salutation, by requesting the Oriental loafer immediately 
 to make sail for the lower regions. As he of the bottle 
 was utterly ignorant to whom and to what place the 
 boatswain had so courteously consigned him, with ex- 
 cusable pertinacity he still preferred his claim for some 
 of that liquid, accompanied by the most supplicating 
 gestures. We will not pretend to say by what motives 
 Jack was prompted, whether from a mischievous or 
 benevolent one, or whether from a general principle with 
 sailors never to decline giving, or refuse the donation of 
 such matters, but a most copious dram was given the 
 native, without any apparent scruples of conscience on 
 the part of the donor. No sooner was it gulped down, 
 however, than Jack again intimated a desire, couched in 
 no very polite phrase, that he of the canoe should depart 
 forthwith to the regions of his infernal majesty, and 
 expressing in no very equivocal terms his unmitigated 
 disgust to the person of this specimen of Oriental ele- 
 gance, who added to his other attractions a mouth 
 hideously blackened by the free use of the betel-nut. The 
 bottle presented by the native, to the astonishment of 
 Jack, was an empty one of Day and Martin's blacking. 
 He therefore very wisely concluded that the fellow had 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 113 
 
 been partaking of that far-famed liquid for want of the 
 other. 
 
 " Speak out like a man, you Cherokee, if any thing 
 decent for a respectable gentleman like myself to listen 
 to, can come from that coal-hole." 
 
 At this last effusion of the chief of the forecastle, there 
 was a general roar of laughter from the crowd, which 
 somewhat disturbed Jack's equanimity. 
 
 " Prehaps," said the carpenter, " this gentleman is 
 'boots' at the Ingen Queen hotel on shore there, and 
 being rather short of cold wittels, he's swallowed his 
 blacking. Ask him, Jack, if he'd like to taste a morsel 
 of our cat with nine tails." 
 
 At this suggestion, Jack went to the locker and 
 brought out the strange animal alluded to, which he not 
 only exhibited to the stranger, but expatiated upon its 
 merits with much fervour, and in his own peculiar style 
 of eloquence, drawing the strings through his fingers, and 
 flourishing it about in the most scientific and familiar 
 way — and demanding whether " that was not a sweet 
 plaything, and that a taste of its qualities would restore 
 him to reason as quick as the wild man in the play." 
 
 Whether Jack's eloquence, or one or two magic 
 touches from the cat inspired the native, it is impossible 
 to say ; but suddenly he cried out " more" — accom- 
 panied by a little pantomime between hand and mouth, 
 which was too plain to be misunderstood. Jack either 
 was, or affected to be, as much shocked at this unrea. 
 sonable demand, as the parochial cook, when Oliver 
 Twist called for more soup ; and instead of granting 
 the request, immediately applied the instrument to his 
 
114 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 back, accompanied at the same time by a kick, bestowed 
 with much liberality and good-will. Upon the reception 
 of these liberal and gratuitous donations, the hitherto 
 passive disseminator of the fame of Day and Martin, at 
 one bound cleared the bulwarks and plunged head fore- 
 most into the sea. Jack gazed about him for a moment 
 perfectly bewildered, and heedless of the jibes of his 
 companions. The figure and movements of the Malay, 
 indicated no such surprising powers of agility. The 
 boatswain, therefore, attributed this Ravel movement 
 entirely to the impetus received from his own vigorous 
 leg. Addressing the bystanders, he cried — 
 
 " I say, shipmates, did you see that ? I just touched 
 the chap with my starboard flopper, under the counter, 
 and blow me if it didn't sky him. I say, forard there, 
 look if that ingen ain't sticking in the fore-rigging." 
 
 We turned from this small comedy, to observe the 
 canoes and natives which now surrounded the vessel; 
 and I soon became deeply engaged in bartering trink- 
 ets, handkerchiefs and knives with the motley assem- 
 blage. 
 
 Almost every canoe was freighted with live stock, 
 and every kind of vegetable and strange fruit, from the 
 orange and pine-apple, to the duran and mangastein — 
 the last mentioned, the most luscious of all fruits — a 
 natural strawberry cream ; if frozen, it would excel in 
 flavour any dish of that cooling compound that Wood 
 or Parkinson ever served to their customers. The duran 
 is an extraordinary fruit, and greatly prized by the 
 natives. At first, the smell is so repulsive, that you cast 
 it away in disgust ; but the flavour is an agreeable com- 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 115 
 
 pound of sweets and acids, so delightfully intermingled, 
 and in such exquisite proportions, that you forget the 
 smell and abandon all other fruits when you can obtain 
 this natural consolidated punch, without any of the 
 cloying or intoxicating qualities of that well-known 
 beverage. 
 
 The canoes are worked with a double-bladed paddle, 
 dipping it alternately in the water on either side. They 
 will propel their slight barks through the water with 
 astonishing speed. 
 
 Some of these people were remarkably well-shaped, 
 and with very intelligent faces. I was particularly 
 struck with the manners and bearing of a youth who 
 had sold out his stock in trade, and w r as now amusing 
 himself with cutting jokes upon his fellows — paddling 
 about from canoe to canoe, chatting with this one, then 
 throwing an orange at another. As this Javanese and 
 myself were about the same age, he quickly caught my 
 eye, and observing something in the glint of it that sym- 
 pathized with his own humour, we quickly made ac- 
 quaintance, and commenced a conversation in the style 
 of Valentine and Orson. 
 
 I presented him with a waistcoat of gaudy pattern, 
 and he jumped into his little boat, evidently delighted 
 with the prize, for he waved it about triumphantly, to 
 the envy of all beholders. Those admirable tailors, 
 Robb & Winebrenner, when it passed out of their hands, 
 never dreamed that it would adorn the person of a 
 tawny-skinned Malay. Perhaps this fellow, upon some 
 subsequent occasion, may have astonished a curious 
 navigator with a garment cut by a fashionable Philadel- 
 
116 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 phia tailor, as much as we were by the apparition of 
 " Day & Martin's best," in the hands of the Oriental 
 loafer before spoken of. But I hope the wearer by that 
 time will have become a little more familiarized with 
 the garment, for the last time I saw him he had thrust 
 his legs through the arm-holes, and was exercising his 
 natural ingenuity to make it meet behind. 
 
 Having received now a full supply of every thing, at 
 about noon these visiters began to depart one by one 
 from the ship, and we commenced an examination of 
 our various purchases. Poor Pug ! (there was at least 
 thirty of these long-tailed gentlemen on board,) cast 
 many a lingering look towards his native shores, never 
 destined to see them again. Some came to an untimely 
 end long before we arrived in China; others outlived 
 storms and ill-usage, and after again passing their native 
 shores upon the return voyage, arrived safely in the 
 United States; and may have ultimately, after an 
 arduous professional career, expired in the arms of an 
 organ-grinder. 
 
 They were, however, a source of great amusement to 
 us, and one of them, the hero of the adventure with the 
 strange bird with the long bill, figured largely in one of 
 my sketches. 
 
 The Javanese are an ancient people ; whether they are 
 the same race that are spoken of in the Scriptures, as 
 traders to ancient Tyre, has not been satisfactorily settled, 
 though I should be tempted to believe, with Sir Stamford 
 Raffles, that the ancient inhabitants of this beautiful 
 island, were a distinct race from the present rude and 
 simple people. 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 117 
 
 In the 10th chapter of Genesis, we are told " that the 
 Isles of the Gentiles were divided in their lands ; every- 
 one after his tongue, after their families in the nations." 
 And in the 27th chapter of Ezekiel, we find amongst the 
 rich merchants those of Javan, " who traded the persons 
 of men, and vessels of brass, to the market of Tyre ; 
 and who, going to and fro, occupied in her fairs, brought 
 bright iron, cassia, and calamus." 
 
 The ancient ruins of temples and cities scattered over 
 this island, strike the spectator with astonishment and 
 veneration. Every hill has its magnificent temple now 
 in ruins ; and valleys are filled with monuments of im- 
 mense cities, of which the present inhabitants, like the 
 South Americans, have no tradition. These splendid 
 piles must have been erected under the superintendence 
 of a people highly skilled in the arts. Whether the pre- 
 sent rude and simple race are descendants of that ancient, 
 civilized people, or whether they were foreigners, con- 
 quered and obliterated from the face of the earth by 
 savage invaders, is an interesting subject for philosophi- 
 cal speculation, but as little likely to be satisfactorily 
 settled, as who were the builders of the ancient ruins of 
 Yucatan. A monument that had been buried for ages 
 in the forests of South America, has been transported to 
 New York by the talented and adventurous Stephens — 
 a sculptured column from the base of Gunung-Kardang, 
 may one day stand beside it, and the antiquarian behold 
 at a glance monuments from the two hemispheres, alike 
 curious for their antiquity and similarity of form and 
 sculpture. 
 
 The Javanese, like all rude and uncultivated people, 
 
118 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 believe in witchcraft and sorcery, and the mountaineers, 
 like the Highlanders of Scotland, in second-sight. A 
 singular instance of these credulous superstitions is re- 
 corded by a Dutch historian, which has a striking re- 
 semblance to the Highland superstitions of the cross, 
 which Sir Walter Scott has immortalized in verse. 
 
 The skull of a buffalo, in the short space of twenty 
 days, had travelled over the whole island of Java, jour- 
 neying through remote districts and kingdoms with the 
 speed of lightning — transmitted from hand to hand by 
 these credulous people who, without knowing why or 
 wherefore, obeyed the mandate at every sacrifice. There 
 was some undefinable feeling of evil to themselves or 
 relations if this senseless matter was not kept in motion. 
 The Dutch authorities, either from suspicion or perhaps 
 a better motive, arrested the progress of this strange 
 symbol and threw it into the sea. 
 
 It is much to be regretted that we have no graphic 
 description of the island of Java, its inhabitants and 
 scenery. Something beyond the dry political details of 
 Raffles and Crawford, and the statistical, botanical and 
 geological researches of Marsden. Something that 
 would amuse as well as instruct. Incidents of travel 
 by such a pen as Stephens would be a great acquisition. 
 
 It abounds with magnificent scenery — mountains rising 
 to the height of 12,000 feet above the level of the sea, 
 and natural phenomena of the most wonderful kind. 
 Volcanic fires are constantly burning, and terrible erup- 
 tions sometimes occur which spread destruction far and 
 wide. 
 
 In 1772, the Papuandayang burst forth into flame, and, 
 
SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 119 
 
 after shaking the island to its centre by terrible explo- 
 sions, and scattering ashes and scoria for three hundred 
 miles from its base, sunk into the earth and disappeared; 
 fifteen miles in length by twelve broad of this mountain 
 was swallowed up. The subterranean noises constantly 
 reverberating amongst the hills and valleys tend no doubt 
 to keep alive and heighten that feeling of superstition 
 which is so common among the inhabitants. 
 
 The general aspect of this country is exceedingly 
 beautiful, uniting all the rich and magnificent scenery 
 which waving forests, never-failing streams and constant 
 verdure can present, heightened by a pure atmosphere 
 and the glowing tints of a tropical sun. Nature's several 
 kingdoms abound with wealth scattered profusely by the 
 hand of a beneficent God. You feel His presence every 
 where. The Cup Tree, alone, if insensible to every 
 thing else, would strike the unbeliever with the truth of 
 an Almighty Providence. 
 
 Imagine a tree of great height with spreading branches 
 and glossy metallic leaves — through which the sun's 
 rays at mid-day cannot.pierce — imagine this tree covered 
 with innumerable goblets, each cup supplied with a top 
 moving upon a hinge of the most exquisite and delicate 
 construction, which opens at night and receives the fall- 
 ing dew till filled with the pearly liquid to the brim, when 
 the top closes and seals up the treasure. At the hour of 
 noon, when the sun's rays pierce like a javelin, and 
 every living and inanimate thing shrinks from his beams, 
 the lid opens, the stem, which so firmly sustained the 
 vase, bends, and a shower of crystal waters pours forth 
 to refresh every thing within its influence — myriads of 
 
120 SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 
 
 birds and butterflies like golden blossoms gemming every 
 leaf, chanting in the sweetest and wildest tones their 
 praises of the Great Creator. 
 
 Send your unbeliever out of your crowded cities into 
 God's holy temples upon the mountain's side or teeming 
 valley — let him look upon this tree, blossomed with 
 living creatures. Let him stand beneath its shade and 
 receive a baptism from the dews of heaven at noonday, 
 beneath an equatorial sun— and he will bow down before 
 that magnificent shrine, humbled in spirit and elevated in 
 sentiment. 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 A portion of the following sketches are semi-political, 
 but not in the slightest degree tinctured with that bitter- 
 ness which generally accompanies political matters. On 
 the contrary, they abound with good-humoured jokes, 
 intended to be hit off with pleasantry and classic humour. 
 The distinguished public characters who 1 occasionally 
 figure in these pages, not excepting even the Emperor of 
 China, will no doubt enter into the full enjoyment of the 
 jeu d'e splits. 
 
 Department of State. 
 
 TO THE HONOURABLE C C ., 
 
 Envoi/ Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary, from 
 the United States of America to the Court of his most celes- 
 tial majesty and highness Kiang Foo, ilie Emperor of 
 China. 
 
 Sir : — The President has been pleased, during the 
 recess of Congress, and since you were rejected by the 
 Senate, to confer upon you the appointment as Envoy 
 Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary to the court 
 of his most celestial majesty the Emperor of China. In 
 all human probability your nomination will not be con- 
 
 9 
 
122 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 firmed by the Senate; your time being short, yon will 
 therefore make the most of it. 
 
 I have, by order of the President, directed the Secre- 
 tary of the Treasury to honour your drafts for the full 
 amount of your outfit and emoluments. I take this 
 opportunity formally to express my regret that the com- 
 pensation was not more liberal, it being in fact not equal 
 to a private gratuity received by me from the merchants 
 of Boston for a little business transaction done for them 
 in England ; yet the President joins with me in opinion, 
 that considering the place of your birth, with proper 
 economy, you may not only be able to perform all the 
 duties incident to the very important mission, but lay up 
 a comfortable subsistence for your future benefit. 
 
 As a particular mark of his favour to you, and with 
 the view to make a signal and lasting impression upon 
 his celestial majesty the Emperor of China and the 
 Governors and Rulers of that great empire, the President 
 has been pleased to send out with you his beloved son 
 Bob, the author of Ahasuerus, the Lost Foundling, and 
 other forthcoming poems. This has invariably, amongst 
 all nations, been deemed the strongest evidence of confi- 
 dence and the most distinguished mark of respect, and I 
 have no doubt the Emperor will justly appreciate the 
 sacrifice not only made by the President but by the 
 whole people of the United States, who feel the most 
 lively interest in the welfare of that prepossessing youth. 
 
 With a view to a partial mitigation of the affliction 
 incident to so painful a bereavement, I have likewise 
 directed the Secretary of the Treasury to honour his 
 drafts for a handsome outfit and emoluments, and charge 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 123 
 
 the same to incidental expenses, and ere this, that gifted 
 young man no doubt has pocketed the same. 
 
 As the people of China attach great importance to 
 show and parade, and will no doubt be greatly influenced 
 by the appearance of the Envoy and his suite, you will 
 let no opportunity slip of adding to the dignity and 
 importance of the nation you represent. 
 
 For this purpose you will depart from the severe sim- 
 plicity of our republican manners, carried perhaps to an 
 excess by our present Envoy to the Court of Vienna, and 
 pursue a course more consistent with the character of 
 the government and people with whom you are to reside. 
 I will not presume to dictate to you upon a matter so 
 especially within your own discretion, but will very 
 respectfully suggest that a vast display might be made 
 at a trifling cost by the free use of Chinese crackers and 
 other fireworks. 
 
 The Chinese being a curious and ingenious people,* 
 and celebrated for their skill in the mechanic arts, you 
 will carry with you a plentiful supply of specimens of 
 the notions and inventions of New England. The Presi- 
 dent has requested your attention especially to be drawn 
 to a box of beautiful workmanship, made from some 
 choice remnants of lumber found at Harrisburg, the 
 Capital of the great and thriving state of Pennsylvania, 
 presented to the Government by Kickapoo, the worthy 
 Governor of that State, obtained through the mediation 
 of our principal War Mandarin, and chief of Indian 
 Affairs, in which are contained two elaborate specimens 
 of the wooden ham and nutmeg, an article of commerce 
 for which your countrymen, and I am proud to say,, 
 mine, are famous. 
 
124 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 There are also some specimens of tin ware, and a 
 miniature representation of the primitive New England 
 cart, by which this curious and useful fabric is conveyed 
 by the enterprising citizens of the North throughout all 
 parts of this great empire. 
 
 The President has been informed that the Chinese are 
 great admirers of small feet, and indeed our own obser- 
 vation, and conversations with captains and supercar- 
 goes, and numerous representations upon tea-chests, con- 
 firm the truth of that information. As our countrywomen 
 generally are not remarkable for that peculiar beauty, 
 and thereby, we may be -disparaged in the eyes of the 
 Emperor and rulers of the Celestial Empire, he sends 
 you a small shoe, worn by a ward of his, of Virginia, 
 who was remarkable for that beauty, and consequently 
 received the sobriquet of the " Lightfoot of Virginia." 
 Upon the presentation of this choice specimen, which 
 has already made some noise in this country, you will 
 take care to remark that it is the natural growth of Vir- 
 ginia, and not formed upon the great principle of restric- 
 tion, which, though a governing principle with the 
 President in matters of finance and state policy, has not 
 been carried down so far with us as in China. 
 
 There is also a model of a bed, of very superior work- 
 manship, to be presented to the principal mandarin of 
 the Emperor's household, on which two politicians can 
 repose with wonderful satisfaction, and discuss the while, 
 with peculiar advantage, matters of great State import- 
 ance, and if either party should subsequently turn traitor 
 to their country or the Emperor, all their secret combi- 
 nations, conversations and conspiracies in the most 
 minute particulars will certainly be developed. We 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 125 
 
 have a practical illustration of the truth of this in our 
 palace at Washington, of which fact you can assure the 
 Emperor. 
 
 Every thing which will tend to facilitate our com- 
 merce with the nation to which you are going, must 
 unsparingly be resorted to. And you will particularly 
 inform his celestial majesty of the lively interest the 
 President and his chief mandarins have taken in the 
 opium question, and of our sense of the virtuous determi- 
 nation of the Emperor to suppress the entire use of that 
 deleterious drug. Its principal quality being a powerful 
 soporific, the president apprehends that upon the homoe- 
 opathic system, the dissemination of a harmless matter, 
 possessing, however, the same qualities with the opium 
 without its poison, if freely used, w T ould banish the article 
 entirely from the Chinese dominions. He therefore sends 
 you a supply of the debates of the last Congress, and a 
 file of the Madisonian bound up in sheep. The two first 
 articles are so strongly imbrued with the narcotic 
 quality, that men have been known to sink into the arms 
 of Morpheus at a glance of the title page. The people 
 of China, by dint of threats and bribes, (the latter to be 
 preferred,) may be induced to use them generally, and 
 thus two objects will have been obtained, a great bless- 
 ing conferred upon a whole nation, and the addition to 
 our trade of an article of commerce easily manufactured, 
 and in great quantities. 
 
 It is with sentiments of deep grief the President of the 
 United States, and indeed the whole world, but more 
 particularly our beloved and prolific little sister-in-law, 
 Victoria, have observed the benighted condition of the 
 great and populous empire you are about to visit. For 
 
126 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 thousands and thousands of years this truly unfortunate 
 people have been peacefully increasing in wealth and 
 prosperity, without a full knowledge of the blessings 
 enjoyed by the nations of Europe and America, utterly 
 ignorant of the art of war, and the beautiful extermi- 
 nating systems practised by their kings and rulers. You 
 will therefore take the earliest opportunity to congra- 
 tulate the Emperor upon the result of the late conflict 
 with the amiable Queen of England, who has rid him 
 summarily of so many of his subjects, and so much of a 
 certain article called sigh see silver, so called we sup- 
 pose from the grievous effect it produced in the breasts 
 of all Chinese beholders, upon observing that precious 
 article depart so unceremoniously into the possession of 
 their benefactors the English. 
 
 In some degree to aid the common cause of humanity, 
 and to assist in the great object of enlightening and 
 improving the condition of the Chinese people, you will 
 receive on board your vessel the following gentlemen, 
 distinguished alike for their zeal, philanthropy and abili- 
 ties : one Abolitionist, one Mormon, one Millerite, one 
 Methodist, twelve Presbyterians of the old school, and 
 an equal number of the new school, twelve Temperance 
 lecturers, one Catholic Priest, one Rappite, one Espico- 
 palian, one Puseyite, one Quaker, one Shaking Quaker, 
 one Unitarian, one Social Reformer, one Baptist, one 
 Seceder, one Jew, one Owenite, and six reporters of 
 newspapers. With such materials, the President is 
 under the sincere belief, with the help of a kind Provi- 
 dence, you will quickly awaken these benighted people 
 from the slumber into which they have been plunged for 
 so many centuries. 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 127 
 
 Independent of these matters which relate to the 
 prosperity of our commercial intercourse with a great 
 nation and their spiritual welfare, it were well to impress 
 the Emperor with an idea of our formidable strength in 
 war. After deep reflection, the President is convinced 
 that the most effectual mode to promote this, would be 
 the solemn announcement to the Emperor of his having 
 
 placed at the head of that department , late of 
 
 Northampton county, and as Chief War Mandarin of 
 this great Empire. The fame of the great Kickapoo 
 chief of America has reached no doubt, the ears of 
 Elipoo the war chief of China. The announcement of 
 this fact will, in the opinion of the President, inspire a 
 great respect, with a corresponding degree of awe. 
 
 With sincere wishes for your health and happiness, 
 and with sentiments of high consideration, I have the 
 honour to remain, your Excellency's very obedient 
 servant, 
 
 Fletcher Webster, for 
 
 Daniel Webster, Secretary of State. 
 
128 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 PROCLAMATION 
 
 To the Inhabitants of Yuang- Tong, Footchien, Kingsi, and 
 Quangsee Districts. 
 
 Open wide your ears — attend to this : 
 
 The Emperor, brother to the Sun, Moon and Stars, 
 your Father and Ruler, looks down from his mighty 
 Celestial throne with the tender eye of a kind parent 
 upon his children. 
 
 He watches and protects you. 
 
 It was foretold by Hiam Chitty-bung, the good and 
 just, that twelve thousand moons should pass away and 
 the people of the Celestial Empire would increase and 
 multiply prosperously ; that during all that time the foot 
 of the foreign barbarian should timidly touch the soil, 
 leaving not the impress of the heel thereon. But, upon 
 the eighteenth of Ki-too, 7964 * " while-eyed, lily-livered, 
 hairy-chopped foreign barbarians,-)- from remote corners 
 of the world, should mercifully not only be permitted to 
 trade, but their mandarins, or great men, would be pri- 
 vileged to bump their heads at the footstool of our celes- 
 tial and mighty throne." 
 
 These prophetic decrees are being verified. Our Ce- 
 
 * Corresponding with 1842 of the Christian era. 
 t " Hoong-wang-zhats-ces ;" literally, white-eyed, carroty-pated bar- 
 barians. 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 129 
 
 lestial Brother* is now in the eighteenth of Ki-too : ac- 
 cordingly, and for reasons of justice within our own 
 breast, ambassadors from all the barbarians of the earth, 
 will have the supreme felicity to visit the Celestial Em- 
 pire, and the honour to bump their humble heads in the 
 dust at the foot of our Imperial throne. 
 
 It has come to our knowledge that one Coo-shing, 
 without tail or title, has been sent by the King of the 
 Yean-kees, a nation not older than the fat hog in the 
 Temple of Buddah at Yuen-min-yuen, to bend his body 
 and bump his head at our feet, and that the aforesaid 
 Coo-shixg has already left War-shing-tung, the capital 
 of his master's kingdom, in a fast vapouring war-boat, 
 in company with the son of the said King, a youth who 
 rejoices in the name of Bo-bee-ti-lur-yung, pronounced 
 by these abbreviating barbarians, Bob. 
 
 This youth, the heir-apparent to the throne of the 
 Yean-kees, is gifted with the divine inspirations of the 
 poet, and it appears by a proclamation under the seal of 
 his royal father, and which has met our Imperial eye, 
 that his effusions — which are said to be quite a harmless 
 narcotic — elaborately bound with the hide of a calf, sa- 
 crificed for that especial purpose, will be presented as 
 an antidote to that deleterious drug so poisonous to my 
 people. A heppoo (custom-house officer) will be directed 
 to translate the same, as from the state document before 
 alluded to, it appears that none but officers of that class 
 could understand the work or appreciate its merits. 
 
 What saith the immortal Confu-chiou 1 (Latinized into 
 Confucius by the Jesuits.) " The cow loweth for its 
 
 * The moon. 
 
130 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 kind, the ass pineth for its foal." Let every attention 
 then be paid this young barbarian, to mitigate the pangs 
 of parental bereavement. Let him be feasted with sweet- 
 meats of the tender chou-chou, and savoury chop-a-ling- 
 tee, and humanize his appetite with the delicious shark's 
 fin, the luscious bird's nest, and exquisite puppy-dog soup. 
 Let the purveyor conceal for a time the ingredients of 
 the last-named delicacy, as these people, though unquali- 
 fied barbarians, are not cannibals. Upon the arrival of 
 the said Coo-shing, ambassador from the Yean-kees, and 
 the aforesaid Bob, son of the King Jung-ti-lur, at the Bocca 
 Tigris, their vapouring war-boat will ascend at once to 
 Wampoa, without stopping at Macao or Cap-si-moon, 
 where Elipoo shall attend with his principal mandarins 
 to welcome him with a suitable display of fire-crackers. 
 
 It is our imperial pleasure that these foreign barba- 
 rians be entertained with hospitality becoming our own 
 dignity, and however ridiculous their appearance and 
 dress may be, it must be recollected that their intentions 
 are good, the populace therefore will refrain from any 
 expressions of contempt or ridicule, upon pain of the 
 bamboo. 
 
 The viceroy of Quang-tung will hasten to inform the 
 said Coo-shing, ambassador of the Yean-kees aforesaid, 
 that both he and his companion Bob, that son of a king, 
 are to remain mute and passive, until they have per- 
 formed all the ceremonies of the Ki-teaou.* They are 
 reported to be a loose-jawed, long-tongued race, exces- 
 sively addicted to talkativeness — a great vice, not to be 
 
 t Ki-teaou .-—Prostrations, bumping the head upon the ground nine 
 times, &c. 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 131 
 
 tolerated in a well-conducted government ; any appeal 
 by the said Bob to the people, will occasion an imme- 
 diate repeal of all orders for their reception, and the said 
 barbarians shall be cast forth in disgrace and bambooed. 
 The typhoon is not more terrible than the wrath of a 
 Chinese repealer. 
 
 We have spoken — obey all — sleep not — tremble at 
 this ! 
 
 KlANG FOU. 
 
 From the Golden Throne at our Celestial Palace at 
 Peking. 
 
132 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 Gibraltar, August 25th, 1843. 
 TO THE HONOURABLE A P. U , 
 
 Secretary of State of the United States, Washington. 
 
 Sir:— An unforeseen calamity has occurred, of so 
 distressing, terrible, and embarrassing a nature, that I 
 have deemed it necessary immediately to send a special 
 messenger to you with despatches. The United States 
 Steam Frigate Missouri, was yesterday evening entirely 
 consumed by fire, whilst lying at anchor in the Bay of 
 Gibraltar. 
 
 This magnificent vessel, which has cost the United 
 States so much money, and in which you had taken 
 such lively interest when Secretary of the Navy, and 
 expended so much of the public treasure, with the 
 laudable effort to improve her smoke-pipes, is destroyed, 
 and sunk in this harbour. 
 
 The Missouri has laid her bones at the feet of the 
 Pillars of Hercules. From the top of that ancient monu- 
 ment, centuries looked down with wonder upon the 
 nautical warrior endowed with five hundred centaur 
 power. This model of the perfection of modern science 
 would have passed triumphantly those classic bounda- 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 133 
 
 nes that had arrested the progress of an ancient demi- 
 god ; but the element of her strength consumed her, 
 and it remains for the Mississippi, to which the Missouri 
 is and will be a tributary, to achieve the glorious 
 enterprise. 
 
 Every possible exertion was made by her gallant 
 commander to extinguish the flames and save the ship ; 
 his coolness amidst the scorching flames outrivalled the 
 far-famed Chabert,* — but all was unavailing. The fire 
 spread with terrible rapidity, and enveloped every thing 
 in flames, and smoke. Spar after spar tumbled into the 
 sea, and at half past three o'clock, she blew up with an 
 explosion that shook the Rock of Gibraltar to its base, 
 astounding the inhabitants, and startling from their 
 secret recesses numerous apes, those mysterious abori- 
 ginals of the rock, of whose origin naturalists have been 
 disputing for ages. 
 
 One of these creatures, impelled by curiosity or be- 
 wildered by fear, was caught at the Puerto del Fuego, 
 or Gate of Fire, and presented to me by Sir George 
 Sartorius. I have sent this curious captive to our revered 
 President, with the sincere hope that it will afford him 
 some amusement in the absence of his highly gifted son. 
 
 Captain Newton has forwarded a full report of the 
 
 * " Far-famed Chabert."— It is reported, with what truth we will not 
 pretend to affirm, that this justly celebrated individual, in the presence 
 of many respectable witnesses, carried with him into a red-hot oven a 
 raw beef steak, and after remaining inside for some five or ten minutes, 
 reappeared with the aforesaid steak cooked, with a proper quantity of 
 gravy, which the said Chabert coolly devoured to his own peculiar grati- 
 fication, and no small admiration and astonishment of the spectators. 
 
134 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 calamity, a copy of which I have seen. The assertion 
 therein contained that " not a single life was lost," is 
 erroneous. As the individual who perished was espe- 
 cially under my charge and attached to the Embassy, 
 Captain Newton, in all likelihood, had no knowledge of 
 his existence, and of course could not have been cogni- 
 zant of the demise of the worthy gentleman whose exit 
 from this transitory life was in perfect keeping with his 
 character and creed. He was a Millerite, one of the 
 fifty philanthropists attached to the Embassy by direction 
 of Mr. Webster, " to ameliorate the condition of the 
 Chinese, and awaken those benighted people from the 
 slumber into which they had been plunged for so many 
 centuries."* It will be a comfort to his friends in the 
 United States, to know that he left this sublunary world 
 with much precipitation, yet in the sincere belief of the 
 fulfilment of a prophecy for the consummation of which 
 he was not only prepared, but, in the estimation of all, 
 signally favoured. Amidst the fragments of the ship 
 and brands of fire hurled aloft by the final explosion, 
 was distinctly visible the body of that worthy disciple of 
 the revered Father Miller, ascending with outstretched 
 arms sky high. One or two graceful evolutions, heels 
 over head, a la Ravel, appeared to accelerate his upward 
 progress, in no way detracting from the thrilling sub- 
 limity of the scene. A pertinacious bomb-shell had 
 accompanied that estimable citizen in his upward career, 
 and, for reasons best known to the former, exploded, 
 and the immortal Millerite was lost to our view. It 
 
 * See instructions to Mr. dishing, p. 126. 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 135 
 
 will remain with his friends in America to determine 
 whether he entered the gates of Paradise at that precise 
 moment, or whether he is still continuing his career 
 upward, occasionally diversifying his journey by those 
 pleasing evolutions before described. 
 
 I can only say, that some few moments after, an 
 empty skull plumped into the Bay, as if precipitated 
 from a great height, a kind testimonial, bequeathed no 
 doubt by that inspired gentleman to less favoured 
 mortals here below. 
 
 I have had this precious relic carved into a punch 
 bowl, with figures, in alto relievo, emblematical of the 
 event, and other appropriate emblems — to be presented 
 to our admirable Secretary, with a request that it may 
 always be conspicuous upon the glorious anniversary of 
 Shell-Pot. 
 
 I must also differ from my excellent friend Captain 
 Newton, as to the origin of the fire which occasioned 
 this terrible catastrophe ; and in so doing, that worthy 
 officer will properly appreciate the motive, as it tends 
 to exonerate him from all blame, and will cast not a 
 little upon the Embassy. At the same time you will 
 have the comfortable assurance that the Smoke Pipes 
 are in no way accessary to the calamity, though some 
 have been malicious enough to attribute the accident 
 entirely to those celebrated fumigators. Our present 
 able Secretary of the Navy, who " when the wind's 
 southerly knows a hawk from a Henshaw," will no 
 doubt in his report entirely exonerate those poor perse- 
 cuted pipes from any participation in the matter. 
 
 This mischievous effect, in my opinion, is assignable 
 
136 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 to that familiar phenomenon called spontaneous com- 
 bustion. Debates of Congress, files of the Madisonian, 
 and the poetical effusions of that gifted son of the Presi- 
 dent were stowed away in the hold, commingled with 
 wooden clocks and hams, tin-carts, and various other 
 rare specimens of the fine arts. Amongst these debates, 
 there was a vast quantity of inflammable matter in the 
 shape of speeches from Southern members of Congress, 
 and abolition petitions from the North. Upon the floor 
 of Congress, the imponderable elements were disengaged 
 in a vapory gaseous form, generating much caloric — 
 affording no light, and never passing into a sensible 
 state. According to the theory of Lavoisier, which has 
 supplanted that of Stahl, there was an entire neutraliza- 
 tion of opposite electricities, or, as Boerhaave figuratively 
 expresses it, no chemical affinity between the separate 
 supporters of combustion. 
 
 The solidification of these gases by means of a press 
 enforced by the potent and unscrupulous hand of patron- 
 age, was but a conversion of the elements from one form 
 to another, liable at any moment, by contact and other 
 superinducing causes, to produce combustion — which 
 actually did take place, and burst into a flame upon the 
 sudden introduction of a pure and unaccustomed atmo- 
 sphere. You will perceive by these philosophical con- 
 siderations, the ground upon which I dissent from the 
 turpentine theory of Captain Newton — and I feel myself 
 confirmed in the opinion that I have advanced, when I 
 reflect that the exposure of an immense glass demijohn 
 of inflammable liquid to accidental breakage by a care- 
 less subordinate, would be utterly incompatible with the 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 137 
 
 fact of discipline so justly asserted by the commanding 
 officer. 
 
 I confess that I was fully aware of the combustible 
 qualities of these things, having witnessed their effusions 
 in a gaseous vapoury state upon the floor of Congress — 
 but it was forgotten or overlooked, owing to the great 
 attention required by the gentlemen of my Embassy, — 
 fifty individuals selected from every known sect in the 
 United States. Those gentlemen were wrangling and 
 disputing all day and all night. Here, as Boerhaave 
 says, " was the actual phenomena of combination, sug- 
 gesting aversions between two bodies with no possible 
 affinity, chemical or otherwise." Lavoisier's separate 
 supporters of combustion, each one ignitable without any 
 combination, living, walking, talking peripatetic phlo- 
 gistons. 
 
 There were but two of the fifty that could converse 
 together without coming to open war, and their commu- 
 nications related solely to the mysteries of trade and the 
 science of swap and pledge, in which they were both 
 eminently skilful. 
 
 It will be gratifying to the Government and the people 
 of the United States, to be assured of the safety of all 
 the valuable presents intended for the Emperor of China, 
 with the exception of the debates of Congress, files of 
 the Madisonian, and all the political pamphlets, out of 
 which was rescued the Veto Message of the President, 
 it being a constitutional fact incombinable, and like 
 asbestos, per se indestructible. 
 
 The full-length portrait of the Secretary of War, was 
 preserved with great difficulty. Any thing else but the 
 
 10 
 
138 DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 representation of that distinguished warrior and states- 
 man, would have been consumed by the devouring ele- 
 ments ; it stood fire like the original, who was never born 
 to be burned or drowned, but destined to be otherwise dis- 
 posed of— upon the walls of the palace of the Emperor 
 of China. 
 
 It was particularly admired by the military gentlemen 
 of the garrison. They had heard of his warlike deeds, 
 and longed for a view of the Chief, and were curious to 
 ascertain from what aboriginal tribe he traced his lineage. 
 The general impression abroad is that all our great men 
 are renowned Indian Chiefs, and Mr. Webster is dis- 
 tinguished as the "great Man-dan:' To save myself 
 from incessant importunities upon this subject, I directed 
 
 the following label to be attached to Mr. 's picture, 
 
 which I hope will be gratifying to him: 
 
 " The Secretary of War of the United States of 
 America. The great Kickapoo chief and hero of Shell 
 Pot !" 
 
 I have chartered a small brig upon very favourable 
 terms, and hope to realize enough to pay my expenses to 
 Alexandria, from whence I shall eross the Isthmus of 
 Suez, and hope to reach the frigate Brandywine in 
 safety. 
 
 The gentlemen of the Embassy will accompany me, 
 with the exception of the twelve temperance lecturers, 
 who decline from motives of principle embarking on 
 board the Brandywine. They act upon a principle 
 which, they say if sound, ought to work well both ways. 
 They have taken the pledge not to suffer brandy-wine 
 to go into them, e converso they cannot go into the 
 Brandywine. 
 
DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 139 
 
 With the sincere hope, that however you may feel 
 distressed at this unlooked-for and dreadful calamity, yet 
 your mind will be perfectly relieved as to any agency of 
 the Smoke Pipes in the matter. 
 
 I remain, with high consideration and respect, 
 
 Your most obedient servant, &c. 
 
 C B C G. 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE, 
 
 BETWEEN THE SECRETARY OF STATE OF THE UNITED STATES 
 
 TON. 
 
 British Legation, 
 
 Near the United States, Washington. 
 
 To the Honourable live Secretary of State of the United 
 States of America. 
 
 Sir:— The undersigned, Envoy Extraordinary and 
 Minister Plenipotentiary of her Britannic Majesty, actua- 
 ted by the deepest solicitude to preserve unimpaired the re- 
 lations of amity so happily subsisting between the govern- 
 ments of Great Britain and the United States, and anx- 
 ious to remove by every just and early explanation, all 
 causes of misapprehension which might tend to interrupt 
 the harmony so recently consequent upon the mutually 
 honourable and satisfactorily adjusting Treaty in relation 
 to the North-Eastern Boundary of the American Terri- 
 tory, begs leave earnestly to request the attention of the 
 Secretary of State to a circumstance alike interesting, 
 novel and extraordinary, which has transpired within a 
 few weeks, and which it is apprehended may be generally 
 regarded as of sufficient importance to be misrepresented 
 and perverted, and made the means of disproportionate 
 excitement and ill-will between the two powers. 
 
 The undersigned has received through the medium of 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 141 
 
 the multifarious and unerring columns of various penny 
 newspapers, conclusive evidence that, a short time since, 
 in the city of Philadelphia, at a place of public notoriety, 
 commonly known by the name of the Assembly Build- 
 ings, in the midst of a vast concourse of persons collected 
 under the denomination of a " Repeal Association," and 
 " animated by a common feeling of enthusiasm," a dis- 
 tinguished orator and poet, bearing the same relation to 
 his Excellency the President of the United States of 
 America, as his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, 
 now about one year of age, bears to her Majesty the 
 Queen of Great Britain and Ireland, and standing in the 
 same attitude of importance and responsibility towards 
 the people of this vast and powerful republic, as his 
 Royal Highness the Prince of Wales stands towards the 
 subjects of the British monarchy, made a rash, ardent 
 and vehement address, exhorting the people by whom he 
 was surrounded to enlist with the Agitator of her Britan- 
 nic Majesty's dominions, and actively and liberally to 
 furnish the sinews of war to effect the dissolution of the 
 union of those dominions, to resist the omnipotence of 
 Parliament, to kindle the horrors of a civil war, and to 
 overwhelm amid the thunders of their loud, long and 
 protracted hoorahs, her Majesty's ministers, peerage, 
 people and person. 
 
 The undersigned feels it due to the Chief Magistrate 
 of this confederacy, that he should frankly say that an 
 event so striking and singular, derives all its interest and 
 hazard from the parental connexion which subsists be- 
 tween that functionary and the gifted orator and poet. 
 The undersigned under any other circumstances would 
 regard the matter as the mere effusions of youthful in- 
 
142 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 discretion. But when that youth is the notoriously ac- 
 knowledged favourite son and penman, and private secre- 
 tary of his father, the political Chief of this Empire— and 
 by a recent highly important State document, (the under- 
 signed alludes, to your late instructions to Mr. Gushing, 
 Envoy to China,) the President not only publicly avows 
 that preference, but esteems it a special mark of his fa- 
 vour towards the Emperor of those Celestial dominions, 
 to send his " beloved son," with that special ambassador, 
 it becomes his imperious duty to make them the subject 
 of a formal diplomatic notice. 
 
 The undersigned would further remark that additional 
 importance is derived from the fact, that the individual 
 by whom it was made was at the time a resident at one 
 of the National Arsenals of the United States, and ac- 
 tually and constantly in intercourse with the national 
 armed forces, and living under the national flag, which 
 waved over his head as if giving national sanction to 
 his language and views. 
 
 The abolition of slavery is a question of deep and ex- 
 citing interest to the people of the United States, and one 
 which the undersigned is free to confess it would be 
 highly reprehensible in any distinguished subject of her 
 Majesty's Government to interfere with ; if, therefore, 
 His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, possessing as 
 he actually does, the confidence of Her Majesty his 
 mother, and the exclusive partialities of her royal breast, 
 should make an appeal to the British people of a like in- 
 flammatory character with that of the equal favourite of 
 his Excellency the President, the Government of the 
 United States would have just cause of complaint. 
 
 The undersigned will again remark, that these obser- 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 143 
 
 vations are made with a view to maintain that harmony 
 at present existing between the two nations, and that he 
 is impelled by these motives, and an imperious sense of 
 duty, to lay the matter before the Executive Government 
 of the United States, and he avails himself of this oppor- 
 tunity to renew his considerations of high respect and 
 esteem, &c. 
 
 Henry George Fox, 
 
144 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 Department of State. 
 
 To His Excellency, the Envoy Extraordinary and Minister 
 Plenipotentiary of Her Majesty tJw Queen of Great 
 Britain, 
 
 Sir : — The undersigned, Secretary of Slate of the 
 United States, has the honour to acknowledge the receipt 
 of an official communication of the 25th inst., in which 
 it is stated, that with a " deep solicitude to preserve 
 unimpaired the relations of amity so happily subsisting 
 between the Governments of Great Britain and the 
 United States," the attention of the undersigned is called 
 to the occurrence of a circumstance " alike interesting, 
 novel and extraordinary, which has transpired within a 
 few weeks," and, " which it is apprehended may be the 
 means of disproportionate excitement and ill-will between 
 the two powers." 
 
 The undersigned respectfully remarks, that, if he 
 rightly understands the concluding paragraphs of that 
 communication, the subject matter of which you have 
 deemed it " an imperious duty to make a subject of 
 formal diplomatic notice to the Executive of the United 
 States," there are embraced two propositions of a 
 distinct and specific nature, yet correlative and depen- 
 dant upon each other ; the one, indicative and expressive 
 of a strong desire to cherish the friendly intercourse now 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 145 
 
 subsisting between the two countries ; the other, a fear 
 that that harmonious intercourse will be interrupted by 
 the conduct of the " favourite son, penman, adviser and 
 private and confidential Secretary of the Chief Magis- 
 trate of this Republic." 
 
 The undersigned admits to a certain extent, the 
 parallel which is drawn between the position of His 
 Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, and the distin- 
 guished son of the President, as to the influence they 
 naturally exercise over their respective distinguished 
 parents : His Royal Highness having the exclusive 
 partialities of His Royal Mother's breast, and our Bob 
 the unqualified control of the mind and actions of his dis- 
 tinguished father; yet the undersigned will very respect- 
 fully unequivocally deny the assumption of any further 
 similitude between the parties. The truth of this propo- 
 sition the undersigned deems to be undeniable, and is 
 ever ready for a free discussion of that point to the 
 exclusion of all others. 
 
 His Excellency, Her Majesty's Envoy Extraordinary 
 and Minister Plenipotentiary is referred to Vattel's Law 
 of Nations, Book III. chap. III. page 460, Dublin edition, 
 printed by Luke White, 1777:— "Where two persons 
 are disputing on the truth of a proposition, it is impos- 
 sible that two contrary sentiments should be true at the 
 same time." 
 
 The uncontrolled liberty of speech, coupled with the 
 right of insurrection, is the inherent and indefeasible 
 right of every citizen of the United States. Granting, by 
 
 way of argument, that Mr. T r has arrived at years 
 
 of discretion, he has a perfect right to exercise all the 
 constitutional privileges of a citizen ; he has full liberty 
 
146 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 to make speeches and to write poetry. By the benign 
 equality of our laws, however, no one is compelled to 
 listen to the one or peruse the other ; if it were other- 
 wise, the undersigned is free to admit, that the inherent 
 right of insurrection above referred to would become not 
 only a lively but an active sentiment of the people. 
 
 The reverse of all this exists in England from the 
 nature of the Government; His Royal Highness, from 
 the very dignity of his position, is controlled in his juve- 
 nility by the laws and customs of the Realm — His Royal 
 Highness therefore has a Chancellor to take charge of 
 his little Royal conscience, and an Attorney-General 
 especially deputed to take charge of his little private 
 affairs, and to preserve them from those indiscretions 
 incident to his tender age. The right of conscience, 
 with the Government of the United States, refers only to 
 the right which every man has to set up any form of 
 religion he may deem proper, but has never been deemed 
 a political principle essential to the administration of 
 public affairs, and of late has been entirely banished from 
 the consideration of the present Chief Magistrate and his 
 Cabinet.* 
 
 These differences and distinctions, therefore, are so 
 plain and apparent that the undersigned will respectfully 
 
 * This is a very judicious remark of the Secretary ; certainly, there 
 never was a " right, more literally exercised by any people on the face of 
 this globe. Every sect and religion that was ever heard of flourishes at 
 present in the United States, with the exception of Musslemen, and some 
 have affirmed that to be the creed of certain people who cry loudly 
 through the streets, at the tail of a cart, in those particular months of the 
 year in the spelling of which the letter ' r' interposes. They are perse- 
 vering, zealous, and sometimes c/a??iorous. Like the Camerons they cry 
 aloud and spare not." 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 147 
 
 beg leave to close this branch of the subject, with this 
 passing remark, that Her Majesty's Envoy will unequi- 
 vocally understand, that nothing is meant in any way to 
 disparage the intellectual qualifications of His Royal 
 Highness ; though scarcely one year of age', and 
 B — b in his 25th year, we believe them both to be 
 upon a 'par. As yet, this Government has had no 
 official communication of any effusions, at least of a 
 poetic nature, from His Royal Highness ; yet through the 
 same " unerring columns" of which her Majesty's Envoy 
 has been pleased to speak, it has come to our knowledge, 
 that the attendants and advisers of His Royal Highness, 
 are endeavouring to cultivate such inspirations, by the 
 repetition of affecting and touching passages from the 
 primitive English bards. 
 
 The undersigned, therefore, actuated by the same 
 friendly motives and desires, expressed by her Majesty's 
 Envoy, and thus after denying nothing, conceding 
 nothing, and explaining every thing, hopes nothing will 
 occur to interrupt that harmonious intercourse now sub- 
 sisting between the two nations. The fact of Gen. 
 J M p ( late of Easton and State of Penn- 
 sylvania, being Secretary of War, which by this time 
 must be known even in China, the undersigned appre- 
 hends is a sufficient guarantee to the United States, of a 
 continued peace with all the powers of the earth. 
 
 The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity to 
 renew his expressions of high consideration and respect. 
 
 , Secretary of State. 
 
148 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 British Legation, 
 
 Washington, July 1st, 1843. 
 
 To the Honourable, the Secretary of State of the United 
 States. 
 
 Sir :— The undersigned, her Britannic Majesty's En- 
 voy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary near 
 the United States, has the honour to acknowledge the 
 receipt of a communication from the Secretary of State, 
 in reply to one from this Legation of the 25th ultimo. 
 
 The undersigned but for the concluding paragraph of 
 that communication, would not consider it necessary to 
 continue this correspondence ; he deems it, however, his 
 imperative duty, very respectfully to demand the mean- 
 ing of that passage which infers, that "the fact of G 
 
 J M P , late of Easton and State of Penn- 
 sylvania, being Secretary of War, is a sufficient guarantee 
 to the United States of a continued peace with all the 
 ■powers of the earth" 
 
 The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity to 
 renew his expressions of high consideration and respect, 
 &c. &c. 
 
 H. G. Fox. 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 149 
 
 Department of State, 
 
 Washington, July 10th, 1843. 
 
 To His Excellency -, the Envoy Extraordinary and Minister 
 Plenipotentiary of Her Britannic Majesty. 
 
 Sir : — The undersigned Secretary of State of the 
 United States, has the honour to acknowledge the re- 
 ceipt of your communication of the 1st inst., in reply to 
 his of the 28th ult., which was in answer to yours of 
 the 25th ultimo. 
 
 The absence of the undersigned from the seat of 
 Government, being for some time past engaged upon an 
 important public duty relative to the construction of a 
 smoke pipe for the United States War Steamer Missouri, 
 he hopes will be a sufficient apology for any delay in 
 the acknowledgment of your communication. 
 
 The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity 
 to renew his expressions of high consideration and 
 respect, &c. 
 
 , Secretary of State. 
 
150 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 Her Britannic Majesty's Legation, 
 
 Washington, July 12, 1843. 
 
 To the Honourable, the Secretary of State of the United 
 States. 
 
 Sir : — The undersigned has the honour to acknowledge 
 the receipt of your communication of the 10th inst., in 
 ■which are stated as reasons for any delay in the for- 
 warding of that paper, your absence from the seat of 
 Government, and engagement with a " smoke pipe" on 
 board the United States War Steamer Missouri. 
 
 With a belief that those important duties are now 
 satisfactorily concluded, the undersigned begs leave to 
 renew his application for a definitive answer as to the 
 meaning of the concluding paragraph of your commu- 
 nication, in reply to one from this Legation of the 25th 
 
 ultimo, referring to the fact that " G J M 
 
 P , late of Easton, Pennsylvania, being Secretary of 
 
 War, is a guarantee to the United States of a continued 
 peace with all the powers of the earth." 
 
 The 'undersigned avails himself of this opportunity 
 to renew his expressions of high consideration and 
 respect. 
 
 H. G. Fox. 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 151 
 
 Department of State, 
 
 Washington, July 17, 1843. 
 
 1o His Excellency, the English Envoy and Minister Pleni- 
 potentiary of Her Britannic Majesty. 
 
 Sir : — The undersigned, Secretary of State, has the 
 honour to acknowledge the receipt of your communica- 
 tion of the 10th inst., in which you are pleased to remark 
 the important public duty relative to the smoke pipe of 
 the United States War Steamer Missouri, upon which 
 the undersigned was particularly engaged, is now satis- 
 factorily arranged. 
 
 The undersigned will very respectfully beg leave to 
 observe, that from whatsoever source this information 
 may have been received, it is not correct ; that " smoke 
 pipe" is still an object of interesting embarrassment to 
 the Executive. 
 
 The undersigned begs leave to enclose for your 
 perusal an official letter received this day from Mr. 
 
 E tt at London, relative to an insult received by him 
 
 at the University of Oxford, and avails himself of the 
 opportunity to renew his expressions of high considera- 
 tion and respect, &c. 
 
 , Secretary of State. 
 
152 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 Her Britannic Majesty's Legation, 
 
 Washington, July 18th, 1843. 
 
 To the Honourable, the Secretary of State : 
 
 Sjr : — The undersigned has the honour to acknow- 
 ledge the receipt of a communication from the Secretary 
 of State of the United States of the 17th inst., by which 
 the undersigned is advised that the information received 
 by him of a happy termination of the labours of the 
 Government of the United States, upon the smoke pipe 
 of the War Steamer Missouri, was incorrect; and of 
 
 the inclosure of a letter from Mr. E tt, the Minister 
 
 of the United States at London, relative to an alleged 
 insult to him at the University of Oxford. 
 
 The undersigned has no desire to complicate this cor- 
 respondence. He begs leave to return Mr. E tt's 
 
 letter, that being a matter for the consideration of the 
 Archbishop of Canterbury, and her Majesty's ministers 
 at home, and the United States. 
 
 The undersigned has the honour to renew his applica- 
 tion for an explanation of that paragraph wherein it is 
 
 stated that " G— J M P , late of Easton, 
 
 and State of Pennsylvania ; being Secretary of War, is 
 a sufficient guarantee to the United States of a continued 
 peace with all the powers of the earth" 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 153 
 
 The undersigned can hardly persuade himself that a 
 threat is meant to be conveyed in this solemn annuncia- 
 tion ; yet the military fame of the Secretary of War is 
 such as to lead the undersigned to a different and far 
 less agreeable conclusion. The glory acquired by Mr. 
 
 P , at Shell-Pot, and in many bloody Indian wars, 
 
 by which he so deservedly acquired the title of the 
 " Great Kickapoo," are historical facts within the know- 
 ledge of the undersigned. Happily the Duke of Wel- 
 lington yet lives, and the undersigned, by reminding a 
 foreign power of that fact, would assuredly be convey- 
 ing a menace as alarming as that contained in the ex- 
 ceptionable passage alluded to. 
 
 The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity 
 to renew his expressions of high consideration and 
 respect, &c. 
 
 H. G. Fox. 
 
 11 
 
154 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 Department of State, 
 
 Washington, July 21st, 1843. 
 
 To His Excellency, Her Britannic Majesty's Envoy Extra- 
 ordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary, fyc. 
 
 Sir : — The undersigned, Secretary of State, has the 
 honour to acknowledge the receipt of an official com- 
 munication of the 18th inst., with a reiterated demand 
 for an explanation of the meaning of the concluding 
 paragraph of a letter from this department of the 
 25th ult. 
 
 With a sincere desire to maintain that friendly feeling 
 existing between the two Governments, so happily con- 
 summated by his predecessor in office, he readily accedes 
 to any proposition which will permanently tend to cherish 
 those feelings. But the undersigned cannot conveniently 
 understand how this correspondence can be complicated, 
 by the attention of Her Majesty's Envoy being called to 
 a subject of such lively interest to the Government, and 
 people of the United States, as an insult offered to Mr. 
 E tt, the American Minister at London. 
 
 The undersigned is aware, that the delicate matter 
 alluded to is a subject for official communication 
 between this Government and Her Majesty's Ministers, 
 and has already given the subject attention. This 
 
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 155 
 
 Government declines any official communication with 
 the Archbishop of Canterbury. The fact of the youngest 
 daughter of our Minister having been presented at Court 
 by the Countess of Nothingburg and being graciously 
 received by Her Britannic Majesty since the affair at 
 the University of Oxford, would lead the undersigned to 
 believe that the difficulty has been happily adjusted. 
 
 The undersigned unequivocally denies any intention 
 to convey any semblance of a threat to her Majesty's 
 
 Envoy in that passage of his letter, wherein J 
 
 M P is alluded to as a guarantee to this 
 
 Government for the maintenance of peace with all the 
 powers of the earth. 
 
 The civic honours of the Secretary of War are far 
 superior in the eyes of this Government, and the people 
 of the United States, to the doubtful laurels that adorn 
 his brow. Grateful as the people of these United States 
 are for the glory achieved by him not only at Shell-Pot, 
 but in the Indian wars of '40, which threatened the 
 Capital of the State of Pennsylvania, devastated and 
 crippled the resources of that thriving Commonwealth, 
 and which were brought to a crisis by his genius and 
 the powerful aid of his gallant brother, the Commander- 
 in-Chief of the militia of Pennsylvania — matters for the 
 historic page, the details of which are well known to the 
 people of the United States, and of which her Majesty's 
 Envoy can form but an imperfect idea — yet the confi- 
 dence reposed in him by the Government and the people 
 arises from his civic virtues — the purity of his patriotism 
 — his self-denial and incorruptible integrity, and his 
 amiable deportment, always the concomitant of true 
 bravery. It may not be known to her Majesty's Envoy 
 
156 OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 that he has refrained from challenging the waiter at a 
 hotel upon a question of soup, and meekly bore indigni- 
 ties upon a matter of precedence of a hack. He has 
 practised for many years in the Courts of Common 
 Pleas of Northampton County with great distinction, and 
 would still have remained there had he not, in his own 
 emphatic language, been certioraried to Washington by 
 the President of the United States. 
 
 With such a man at the head of the War Department, 
 with a combination of so many excellent virtues 
 tempered by so much amiable discretion and forbear- 
 ance, Her Majesty's Envoy will properly appreciate the 
 feeling and motive which dictated the expression of that 
 paragraph, which the undersigned is free to confess, 
 without this satisfactory explanation, would be of equi- 
 vocal import. 
 
 The undersigned likewise earnestly deprecates any 
 complication of this correspondence ; the introduction of 
 the name of the Duke of Wellington, wherein a parallel 
 is sought to be drawn between the heroes of Shell-Pot 
 and Waterloo, will certainly produce that effect which 
 Her Majesty's Envoy and the undersigned had better 
 avoid. And he avails himself of this opportunity to 
 renew his expressions of high consideration and respect. 
 
 Secretary of State. 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON, 
 
 A LINEAL DESCENDANT FROM OLD ISAAC WALTON, THE 
 ANGLER ; WHOSE PISCATORY EFFUSIONS ARE SO RENOWNED 
 IN THE LITERARY WORLD. 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 Hog Hollow, Tuesday, August 1st, 1843. 
 
 Dear Sir: — Numerous correspondents from various 
 watering places are pouring forth their epistolary effu- 
 sions, each one with unsparing hand lavishing praise 
 not only upon the scenery of his particular locale, but 
 upon the exalted character of the host, who is described 
 as a perfect Mecsenas in all the admirable qualities that 
 can adorn human nature, whilst his table is diurnally 
 a feast for the gods: the bare recital of the dainties 
 would make even the mouth of Apicius water. 
 
 After perusing these various letters for the last fort- 
 night, and devouring their contents — which so far from 
 fattening me has had a contrary effect — I have deter- 
 mined to quit Hog Hollow, a sweet little rural spot on 
 the banks of Rum Creek, where I had domiciliated with 
 the intention there to sojourn in exclusive rusticity during 
 the hot weather. 
 
158 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 I pine for a view of the Capes, with its magnificent 
 display of five hundred red flannel shirts dipping under 
 the curling wave. I long for a glance at the exquisites 
 of Saratoga, or for a view of the Rip-Raps, that American 
 St. Helena, where great men seek a temporary relief 
 from the cares of state and office-seekers. 
 
 O ! that I had never read those eloquent epistles, 
 ievdently the spontaneous flow of disinterested feeling. 
 I should still be engaged in the peaceful and humble 
 rural sports of Hog Hollow — assisting the boys to club 
 chickens for supper, or moralizing over the remains of 
 decapitated roosters, who but a brief space since were 
 strutting about in all the pride of plumage. 
 
 Remorseless Betty ! " will not one suffice ?" I have 
 been tempted to believe in the doctrine of Metem- 
 psychosis, and that the spirits of St. Just, Marat and 
 Robespierre are infused into that susceptible body. 
 But a moment since, O ! Chicken ! thou wert in all the 
 pride of Roostership, — chop — away flies thy head — 
 what amazing gyrations ! what wonderful pirouettes ! 
 and where are you now ? melancholy reflection ! 
 cheered, however, with the consolatory thought that 
 ere nightfall thou wilt be comfortably established in the 
 abdomen of a restless reporter. 
 
 Farewell, Rum Creek, and you, gentle decapitating 
 Betty, a long farewell. Farewell to those shelving 
 banks, where for so many hours I have watched the 
 cork of my fishing-line with feverish delight, and the 
 small circles diverge from its painted sides as it bubbled 
 upon the placid pool. 
 
 Surely I was not deceived — perhaps some migratory 
 fly, these Bedouins of the insect tribe, had touched, en 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 159 
 
 passant, the apex of the quill— no, there it is again, a 
 palpable bite, I can no longer doubt the fact — it is a nib- 
 ble,— and what a glorious one ! All the energies of my 
 mind and body at that moment were concentrated into 
 the handle of the rod. I mesmerised the cork ! perhaps 
 under that mysterious influence I may have infused my 
 will into that heretofore little senseless spherical body ! 
 there's a discovery which may outrival the falling pippin. 
 
 See how it dances — it bobbles under and popples up and 
 down — I become delirious with excitement — shall I pull 
 up, or hold on a little longer 1 Shade of Isaac Walton, 
 come to the aid of thy disciple ! The world of Rum 
 Creek becomes animated with a sort of Der Freyschutz 
 enchantment ! the wood-pecker taps the old oaks with 
 such phrensy as to waken the whole forest! the shrill 
 cry of the blue-jay becomes a scream ! whilst the solemn 
 kingfisher, whose ancient prescriptive piscatory right I 
 had invaded, with piercing eye, from his dead twig 
 watches the coming event. The cork disappears — 
 " Haul up, Ike, or you're a lost man"— at that moment, 
 a frog, the slimy miscreant, cried— tung ! and with out- 
 stretched arms and legs plunges into the stream ! the 
 charm is broken ! high in air fly my heels with hook and 
 line, but no finny inhabitant of Rum Creek was attached 
 thereto. Disappointed, but not crushed, I disperse some 
 myriads of musquitoes — those" light militia of the lower 
 sky," who have been uttering their war-cries in my 
 ear — and renew my efforts with the like excitement and 
 success. 
 
 I have been in many a trying scene of peril ! I have 
 stepped, in all the pride of apparel, upon the side of a 
 receding boat, in the presence of a concourse of ladies, 
 
160 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 with the vain hope by muscular contraction of keeping 
 it to shore, until stretched almost to splitting, like an 
 extended compass, I have resigned the conflict and sunk 
 in four fathoms, my short coat-tail being the first that 
 touched the water ! there is some excitement in that, and 
 perhaps some mortification. I have been chased by a 
 mad bull down a long lane, with a high fence on either 
 side, running with such superhuman speed as made my 
 coat-tail project horizontally from my body — there is 
 some excitement there too, and a modicum of peril, but 
 no wise compared to the excitement of a glorious nibble 
 — after ten days' fishing in Rum Creek without a bite. 
 
 Shooting, the kindred sport to fishing, the relationship 
 derived, I suppose, from the amphibious character of the 
 former, has, I am free to confess, its excitements, but in 
 no wise compared to the latter. I have chased meadow- 
 larks over an hundred acre field in the month of August 
 with doubtful success — I have laid at full length, watch- 
 ing a chance for a shot at one of those suspicious crea- 
 tures which appear to be informed, with mathematical 
 precision, of the precise distance for safety from the muz- 
 zle of a gun, whilst every variety of the insect tribe were 
 busily devouring and torturing the exposed parts of my 
 body — there is a little excitement when the bird lights 
 within ten feet of you — when with trembling hand you 
 pull the trigger, and are rewarded by an unequivocal 
 snap. All these various, and delightful, and intellectual 
 amusements, I am about to abandon for a new career of 
 pleasure. Upon my arrival at a fashionable resort you 
 shall hear from 
 
 Your friend, 
 
 Isaac Walton, Jr. 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 161 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 Old Point Comfort, August 2d, 1843. 
 
 Dear Sir : — I see you have published my letter dated 
 from Hog Hollow, but what awful mistakes your compo- 
 sitor has made ; do, I beseech you, be a leetle more care- 
 ful. Now confess the fact, my epistle was slurred over 
 because of the place I hailed from ; a fellow that writes 
 from such a place as Hog Hollow is nobody. Hog 
 Hollow, what a vulgar place ! and to write a long chap- 
 ter about a nibble, " did you ever !" now if it had come 
 from "Saratoga," or some such dashing place, do confess, 
 my dear Mr. Editor, that you would have treated the 
 epistle with more respect. I am now, you see, at Old 
 Point Comfort ; but why it is so called I cannot tell. I 
 have not enjoyed a bit of comfort since I have been here. 
 Some aged maiden ladies from Hampton, with whom I 
 have conversed, say that in the olden time, when hard 
 beset by the British, a temporary comfort was found in 
 the Fort here — no doubt that is the origin of the name. 
 Some urged me to go to the White Sulphur, some to the 
 Red Sulphur, the latter I positively, politely, but peremp- 
 torily declined — where is the use of anticipating these 
 things. 
 
 I wish I was back at Hog Hollow, fishing in Rum 
 
162 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 Creek. I want some excitement — there is none here. I 
 came by the usual mode of conveyance, railroad and 
 steamboats. A little incident occurred upon the way, 
 hardly worth mentioning, nor would I mention it, but 
 for the loss of my fishing-rod, which was cruelly muti- 
 lated by the shock. The two opposite trains, loaded with 
 passengers, managed by admirable calculation to meet 
 half way, whilst running at the rate each of twenty miles 
 an hour. There was a crash, a splintering of bones and 
 baggage, and some few women, and children, and helpless 
 old people put liors du combat, but nothing serious, except 
 the destruction and delay of the mail, and the ruin of 
 my fishing-rod. The conductor behaved with such 
 coolness upon the occasion, that the survivors talk of 
 presenting him with a piece of plate in testimony of their 
 gratitude, &c. I was projected with amazing force the 
 whole length of the car, and no doubt would have been 
 killed, had it not been for the providential interference of 
 a very respectable fat old gentleman's waistcoat, which 
 received my head cushion-wise : it was like firing a 
 cannon-shot into a bale of cotton. He was the only one 
 injured in our car, how he got hurt I never heard, but he 
 complained bitterly of a pain in the epigastric region, 
 which was awfully caved in, with a corresponding cur- 
 vature of the back bone. I feel very grateful to that old 
 gentleman, and should like to present him with a piece 
 of plate, but it will be a long time, I am afraid, before 
 any one will dare to present him with any thing in the 
 shape of a plate. In future, when travelling by railroad, 
 I intend always to locate myself in " point-blank range" 
 of some fat old gentleman to pitch into. A good many 
 others aimed at him, for I heard their heads crack 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 163 
 
 against the partition all round him, but I was the only 
 one that hit the mark. There was a little excitement 
 for awhile, for the car was standing up on end, and all 
 the people rolled to the bottom like apples in a barrel — 
 we were much tangled together; I remonstrated with a 
 fellow who was hauling upon my leg, fearing he might 
 pull it out by the socket; he however desisted, and very 
 handsomely apologized, supposing it to be his own. 
 
 But you should have seen the locomotives; they were 
 standing upon their hind legs face to face, hissing and 
 fizzing at each other in the most awful manner, with 
 bushels of red-hot coals tumbling from their hinder 
 parts. The breath was knocked out of one entirely, but 
 the other though very much injured still showed fight : 
 and I believe, if he could have got upon all fours again 
 would have jaunted on in spite of every thing. The 
 unfortunate people, whose duty it is to feed the passions 
 of those excitable creatures, must have fallen victims 
 to their own temerity, for they have not since been 
 heard of. 
 
 Before I commence a description of passing events 
 here, I will give you a brief detail of my visit to the war 
 steamer Missouri, with a view to report the proceedings 
 of the Court Martial, commenced on board that ship to 
 try the smoke pipes for disobedience of orders. There 
 were forty-nine specifications in the charges, but the 
 three principal ones, were " disorderly conduct unbe- 
 coming a smoke pipe, disobedience of orders, and wast- 
 ing of the public funds." The general impression is, that 
 the defence is a good one, that the general conduct of the 
 defendant, anterior to the cutting down, was exemplary 
 in every respect, and that all subsequent matter the 
 
164 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 defendant was in no way responsible for. Experiment 
 upon experiment had been tried, but to no purpose, — 
 first, the pipes were cut off, that would not do, — then 
 they were raised up higher than before, that would not 
 do, — then they were docked close off to the deck and 
 carried through the wheel house, that was decidedly the 
 worst experiment that had yet been tried ; the crew 
 came up coughing and sneezing with tears in their 
 eyes, beseeching a little fresh air to save them from 
 suffocation. 
 
 The poor Secretary was perfectly at his wit's end ; 
 here was twenty thousand two hundred and sixty-nine 
 dollars, and fifty-four cents, gone, and all for nothing — 
 and Mr. Gushing, the Minister to China waiting to start, 
 with all his suite crowding on board, under the instruc- 
 tions that gentleman had received from Mr. Webster, 
 which were published in your paper. The presents to 
 the Emperor were piled upon deck — boxes of wooden 
 hams and nutmegs, miniature specimens of New Eng- 
 land tin-carts, with loads of tin ware and wooden clocks 
 without number. The copy of the bed upon which 
 Bolts and the President slept, attracted great attention, 
 and is really a very beautiful specimen of the fine arts. 
 Besides, there were all the gentlemen of the Mission, 
 selected from the various sects, to ameliorate the con- 
 dition of the Chinese. They had thrown the whole 
 neighbourhood into confusion, each one practising upon 
 the unhappy district, urging most vehemently his own 
 peculiar tenets, until with one accord the whole popula- 
 tion rose upon them, and to prevent bloodshed, they 
 were confined to the ship. They were all in high debate 
 when I was last on board ; I never heard such a racket : 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 165 
 
 the six reporters were busy taking notes, — a fine body 
 of youths and full of enthusiasm. 
 
 You may imagine the confusion ; with all these evils 
 accumulating every moment upon the Secretary, I saw 
 him tumble over a huge pile of something. I stepped 
 aside, for fear he might pitch into me, as I had done to 
 the fat gentleman on board the cars, but he gathered 
 himself up, and inquired what the d — 1 they were ? 
 
 " They are soporifics, sir." 
 
 "What?" 
 
 " Soporifics, sir. Debates of Congress, and files of the 
 Madisonian." 
 
 " O, aye, yes ; I recollect now ! the Opium Question 
 — very good ; but why don't you put all these things in 
 the hold." 
 
 " Can't sir, till the smoke pipes done, sir." 
 
 "What's this?" 
 
 " That, sir." 
 
 " Yes, that." 
 
 " O ! that's a picture as large as life, of , our 
 
 Secretary of War." 
 
 " Turn it over, let's look at it — it's very like ; how 
 fierce he looks ! Is that the dress he wore at Shell-Pot V 
 
 " The very same, sir." 
 
 " But what's that in his left hand ?" 
 
 "That, sir?" 
 
 " Yes, that." 
 
 " O that's his smoke pipe ; the Secretary of War has 
 a smoke pipe as well as the Secretary of the Navy." 
 
 The Secretary here said pensively, " What the d S 
 
 has he to do with such things V* 
 
 " Why, bless your heart, sir, that's his emblem as the 
 
166 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 great Kickapoo, a title he acquired in the Indian wars 
 of his native State, you know." 
 
 " Aye, yes, yes, I recollect now. He has a bold, 
 martial air ; the man that refused him soup at Provi- 
 dence, must have been a fool-hardy fellow." 
 
 " You know, sir, it is the intention of Mr. Cushing, 
 under instructions, to give the Emperor some idea of 
 our warlike character— when Elepoo sees that, but he'll 
 tremble." 
 
 " I think he'd tremble a little more," said the Secre- 
 tary gloomily, " if he see'd my smoke pipe." 
 
 Here an officer cried out. " Boatswain, pipe all hands 
 below." 
 
 " Aye, aye, sir ;" but with a horrid grin he remarked, 
 " they had just been all piped up." 
 
 " None of your levity, sir," says the Judge, sharply, 
 " and stop that jabbering forward there." 
 
 " Why, Judge," said the officer deprecatingly, " that's 
 impossible ; it's the ameliorators." 
 « The what V 9 
 
 (< The gentlemen to ameliorate the condition of the 
 Chinese." 
 
 Preparations were being made to receive the Presi- 
 dent, who was about to visit the vessel with all his 
 cabinet. Our attention of course was drawn off by the 
 imposing spectacle. I took my station near the bow, as 
 the most prominent point of view. 
 
 It was a beautiful sight, to see the boats skimming so 
 gracefully over the broad Potomac, stretching the long 
 glittering oars with clock-like precision and dashing 
 aside the spray. There was, however, an unsailor-like 
 movement in the crew of the President's boat, a sort of 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 167 
 
 " daddy mammy" expression, which somewhat destroyed 
 the tout ensemble movement of the cortege. I afterwards 
 understood that the crew was composed entirely of 
 office-seekers, who had volunteered their services with 
 the vain hope of particularly attracting attention ; though 
 not very unanimous, yet they pulled vigorously, and but 
 for a trifling mishap, would have come in with eclat. 
 {Tout ensemble, cortege, eclat, &c, are the fashionable 
 words, and very vulgar to use any other.) The heels of 
 one of the rowers flew into the air, the oar dropping 
 into the water. 
 
 " That fellow's caught a crab," said a sailor standing 
 near me. 
 
 " Caught a what ?" 
 
 " Caught a crab, sir. He's pulled his oar out of the 
 pins, turned a complete somerset, and knocked the Secre- 
 tary of War's hat off. But here they come, now for the 
 salute of twenty-four guns." 
 
 It was grand and quite exciting. 
 
 •« Starboard, fire !" hiss-s, flash, bang, boom, awar, boo 
 loo. 
 
 The smoke rolled out over the water, and then curled 
 itself comfortably in a heap as if waiting for the other 
 roarers. " Port, fire" — slap-bang! went another from 
 the other side, the smoke performing the same evolutions, 
 with the exception of a fanciful circle which whirled up 
 into the air, twirling round like a hoop till it gradually 
 dispersed. I was in a perfect ecstasy of excitement, it 
 beat Rum Creek. Now I wanted the gun to go off'; 
 then I held on with breath and hand; just as I pulled my 
 thumbs out of my ears slap bang it would come, jarring 
 every nerve in my body. It certainly is a very inspiring 
 
168 LETTEBS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 sound, but it must be awful to have one pointed right at 
 you, discharging something more solid than smoke, let 
 alone to be rammed down into one to the tune I suppose 
 of " home, sweet home," as was the French Consul at 
 Algiers. 
 
 The President came alongside ; " such a getting up 
 stairs." No sooner had his nose peeped over the gang- 
 way, but every one vied with the other to bow and 
 scrape. After examining the ship, and talking much 
 about the smoke pipe with the Secretary, he descended 
 into the cabin — where I shall leave him for the present, 
 having spun my letter out to an unusual length. 
 
 I have picked up a queer document how r ever, which 
 must have dropt from the pocket of some of the great 
 functionaries — something about Lord Aberdeen, Mr. 
 Everett and the Oxford University. No one would take 
 it. I very respectfully presented it to the President, but 
 he waived it aside with evident marks of disgust, and 
 said " Go to my son, he attends to all such applications" 
 After I have perused it, I will send it to you to do with 
 it as you please. 
 
 Your friend, 
 
 Isaac Walton, Jr. 
 Late of Hog Hollow. 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. J 69 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 Old Point Comfort, August 12, 1843. 
 
 A great many queer things have transpired since I 
 last wrote to you, but I am fearful they are hardly worth 
 a recital ; they want, in my estimation, excitement, 
 which seasoning can only be found in my favourite sport, 
 fishing. None of your primitive hauls of fish for me; 
 no casting of leads, with a dozen hooks attached, to the 
 slimy bottom of a great river, cramped up in a wabbling 
 boat — sickening for hours over the water, with the 
 flickering reflected rays of the sun dancing a hornpipe 
 in your eyes. When you do get a bite, it is like shaking 
 hands with a catfish, an animal, in my opinion, no wise 
 companionable, and perfectly destitute of personal beauty, 
 though they have their admirers. But, a secluded rural 
 spot, upon the banks of a placid stream, near a little 
 tinkling waterfall, just noise enough to make you feel 
 drowsy, without putting you to sleep. Gently to twirl 
 your hair line into that cool brook that 
 
 " Purls along the vocal grove," 
 
 the cork luxuriously reclining upon its side until awaked 
 from its slumber by a fascinating little pull at the bait; 
 
 12 
 
170 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 it then starts up, wide awake, curtseying so prettily and 
 gracefully, dimpling the surface of the water, the tiny 
 waves circling to the sedgy shore, where you can hear 
 the liquid rogues chuckling with delight amongst the 
 little round pebbles. 
 
 Occasionally your privacy is intruded upon by a sand- 
 snipe, but not rudely ; the prints of his delicate feet are 
 scarcely perceptible upon the yellow sandy nook, the 
 frame to a bright mirror into which he first looks at 
 himself, then playfully at you, gently cries "peep," — 
 bobs up his little tail, down goes his litte head, and there 
 he stands bowing with the air and grace of a dancing- 
 master ; such a polite little fellow ; — up goes his tail, 
 down goes his head — " peep— how are you? — beg par- 
 don !" — and away he skims with silver wing, tipping the 
 surface of the water. 
 
 O, Rum Creek ! — but no matter, let us drop this; I am 
 getting " entusimuzzy" into a sort of arm-chair senti- 
 mentality. 
 
 But what is this ? the water is getting muddy — some- 
 thing is coming right down the middle of my creek. 
 " Hallo there, you'll frighten all the fish !" O, Lord ! — 
 the next moment I was playing Charles II. from the 
 branch of a lofty oak. How I got there, I could never 
 divine, because I am a miserable climber ; in going down 
 I am amazingly happy, having a natural tendency that 
 way. It was a great thick-necked, curly-headed, sharp- 
 horned bull, and the beast with cloven foot strode over 
 my rod, smelt the ground and my hat, then curled up 
 his nose with malicious grin, no doubt saying to himself, 
 "but if I had you here, wouldn't I treat you to a small 
 horn or two" — and there he stood for two long hours, 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 171 
 
 he chewing the " sweet cud," and I the " bitter fancy," 
 and from his sides, 
 
 " The troublous insects lashes with his tail, 
 Returning still" 
 
 pretending all the while to be unconscious of my pre- 
 sence. No, no, my Lord Durham or Earl of Oxford, I 
 am up to " slum" as well as " tree." At last he retired, 
 but methought 
 
 " With lingering steps and slow." 
 
 With respectful and silent attention did I watch his 
 progress through the bushes, — caught one tender glance 
 of his retreating sirloin and whisking tail ere he dis- 
 appeared from view. Then with an affectionate em- 
 brace of my rough protector, I scraped down his knotty 
 sides in a manner so little remarkable for dexterity and 
 grace that my a-plomb was not exactly a-la-Fanny Elssler; 
 an indenture in the soft soil was very prettily and accu- 
 rately delineated, and of such capacity as clearly 
 showed what part of my tender frame first touched 
 mother earth. 
 
 Such are the excitements incident to my sport, com- 
 pared to which how flat and insipid the round of life, 
 whether mingling as I did on board a war steamer with 
 the great functionaries of the land, running a muck be- 
 tween two furious locomotives, listening to the inspired 
 eloquence of the great Kickapoo at Bunker Hill, or 
 pitching into the waistcoat of a soft old gentleman, 
 whose rotundity a benign providence had interposed be- 
 tween my cranium and the hard planks of a railroad car. 
 I saw that amiable old man here, he is swelling up again, 
 
172 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 —but slowly ; he will ere long again be a respectable 
 target, but he is still able to look down through his waist- 
 coat to his shoe-tie. 
 
 By-the-by, we were cheered with the prospect of re- 
 ceiving a visit at this place from that gallant chief the 
 Secretary of War. Great preparations were made for 
 his reception; but he never came. We afterwards 
 heard that with that amiable and dignified attention 
 which characterizes his private as well as official cha- 
 racter, he is visiting the different Senators at their re- 
 spective abodes. There is something so unaffectedly 
 condescending in this, so guileless ; it is the meed of 
 respect which valour and glory in the field pays to in- 
 tellect. I repeat again, it is quite affecting — and no 
 doubt properly appreciated by those grave and reverend 
 signiors. What has the hero of Shell-Pot to gain from 
 
 visiting Mr. C in Delaware, or Mr. L of Mis- 
 
 souri, now happily at Philadelphia ! Nothing. To be 
 sure, the Senate has the confirmation of his appointment 
 as Secretary of War — but that amounts to a moral cer- 
 tainty — his civic virtues and military glory have secured 
 him that. Besides, imagine what a fire from that masked 
 battery of forty Democratic newspapers in Pennsylvania. 
 Why, the very river Lehigh would overflow its banks 
 with indignation. No, I again repeat, it is quite affecting, 
 and an incident worth treasuring up. It will hereafter 
 without meaning to be rhetorical, with a slight pull upon 
 the hair-trigger of reflection, shoot a gleam across the 
 historic page. 
 
 Did I tell you that I had seen Mr. C 's ambas- 
 sadorial coat? It is very magnificent, but between us 
 there is too much tin foil upon it ; the embroidery is so 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 173 
 
 very elaborate, I have not time to describe it to you ; 
 upon another occasion I may lake the opportunity so to 
 do. Like the shield of Achilles, it demands an ode in 
 Homeric verse. 
 
 I regret that I have been compelled to delay sending 
 you the document relative to the correspondence between 
 Lord Aberdeen, the Archbishop of Armagh and Canter- 
 bury, and Mr. E , but there is a great deal of it in 
 
 Latin, and I have had to employ a corporal of the Fort 
 here, who was once a schoolmaster down East, to trans- 
 late it. Fitz Roy Fitzgubyns, the British Secretary of 
 Legation, is here, and quite a lion. He evidently plumes 
 himself upon the late controversy with our government 
 upon the subject of the exceptionable passage relative to 
 the Secretary of War; he is as close as wax upon all 
 diplomatic matters, but admits that the reply of the 
 Secretary of State was perfectly satisfactory to the 
 British government. I regret that he is about to leave us 
 He is but temporarily attached to the Legation, being a 
 naval officer. He states that he is ordered to a com- 
 mand on board the Thunderer, one of the largest and 
 finest ships in Her Majesty's service. In case of a colli- 
 sion between the two countries, it is to be hoped he will 
 not be so successful in battle, as in diplomacy. 
 
 In haste, your friend, 
 
 Isaac Walton, Jr. 
 
174 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 Hog Hollow, near Rum Creek, September 9th, 1843. 
 
 Dear Sir : — I have been so whirled about in railroad 
 cars, steamboats and stages, since you last heard from 
 me, that I scarcely know whether I stand upon my 
 heels or head, and this is called pleasuring. What pos- 
 sible pleasure people can find in such pursuits, to me is 
 utterly inconceivable. Now there is not only intellec- 
 tual excitement in my fishing, I mean Rum Creek sport, 
 but luxurious ease. The body is perfectly quiescent — 
 there is no physical annoyance, nothing to disturb 
 attention; the mind wanders along the pliant rod, and 
 gently descends an inclined plane of hair line to the 
 buoyant cork — the "point oVappui" of thought, from 
 whence spiritual parties are sent forth to forage upon 
 the surrounding districts, teeming with natural beauties; 
 — a piscatory throne where fancy reigns in sovereign 
 tranquillity, disturbed only by a momentary pull at the 
 worm which writhes beneath, now a lure for little fishes, 
 but the predestined devourer of both kings and cow- 
 boys. 
 
 The mental excitement and fascination of the sport is 
 explained by the self-evident principles of Rum Creek 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTOA*. 175 
 
 metaphysics, affording at the same time, perhaps, a solu- 
 tion of the mysteries of mesmeric influence. 
 
 The soul of the fisherman is wandering up and down 
 the rod, from handle to cork, and cork to handle ; the 
 former being a non-conductor, attention fixes it there ; a 
 nibble startles it back to the domicile with electrical 
 speed, the emotion or thrill increasing or diminishing in 
 a ratio with the force of the bite. This satisfactorily 
 explains the wonderful patience of the angler, who, 
 motionless as a statue, will sit for hours waiting for a 
 bite. Hope deferred with him, never maketh the heart 
 sick. His spirit is on the cork, from whence radiate 
 all sorts of pleasing, dreamy fancies. 
 
 Now compare these quiet enjoyments with a stage- 
 ride for instance. My last trip is a fair sample, where 
 nothing was left from the tangible reality of the passing 
 misery. Hard convex leathery seats, and a strap to 
 sharpen up an aching spine, with eighteen legs held in 
 joint tenancy by nine sleepy heads, and jammed into a 
 rumbling stage-coach ; it is, as one might say, the sub- 
 limation, the chemical analysis of human misery. In 
 the depths of that profound dejection, from some remote 
 corner of your paralysed frame, the scintillation of 
 relief in the shape of a break-down or an upset, glimmers 
 for a moment like a dip candle from the bottom of a 
 damp well, and is extinguished. 
 
 To be nodded at all night by a bald pate ! How often 
 with benevolent hand have I replaced that revolving 
 pumpkin upon the shoulders of its owner, with the vain 
 hope that some latent energy would revive in the body 
 to keep it there. And now see how disgustingly it 
 lollops over the strap, the hinges of the jaws give way, 
 
176 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 exposing the deep recesses of a cavern, the receptacle 
 for a breakfast forty miles off. 
 
 Imagine my delight when at the last stage these 
 eighteen legs walked off with those nine heads, leaving 
 my couple in the undisputed sovereignty of that infinite 
 space included in six feet by three. O ! won't I stretch 
 out and revel in the joys of a back seat ! Infatuated, 
 wretched traveller, " rattling in a stage coach, tavern 
 afar off," little do you know the various powers of the 
 machine to disgust, annoy and terrify. 
 
 Under the pleasing influence of ham and eggs, hot 
 water tinctured with coffee, and the solemn attention of 
 the landlord's daughter, who kindly inquires whether 
 she " shall milk you or will you milk yourself?" at the 
 cry from without of " yer-all-1 read-ee-e," I step forth 
 in all the dignity of the passenger. The door is slammed 
 to upon my fingers ; my howls for relief are lost in the 
 cries of the spectators, of " hold on, Dan," " let go her 
 head," " two colts, a blind one and a bolter," " go it, 
 Dan," " take care of the quarry at the two mile turn." 
 Relieved from torture at last, by the benign interposi- 
 tion of the village blacksmith, with swollen fingers and 
 blue nails and tearful eyes, I survey the scene without. 
 
 As an evidence of the entire ignorance of the duties 
 assigned to them, an excited horse, one of the leaders, 
 actually made an attempt to get inside the coach. Then 
 the two " leaders" were standing on their hind legs, 
 going through all the evolutions of professional boxers 
 with their fore legs, whilst the two others, with roatched 
 backs and ears glued to their necks, were scrambling 
 and scratching up the earth for some awful purpose as 
 yet undeveloped. For reasons not worth mentioning, I 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 177 
 
 was about to abandon my position inside for a more 
 favourable one without, when my view of the grinning 
 faces was suddenly closed by a tremendous jerk, and my 
 heels appeared at that aperture where but a moment 
 before my anxious and no doubt expressive features had 
 protruded. A general hurra from stable boys and loafers, 
 announced the fact of a departure. 
 
 It would be in vain to describe that ride ; suffice it to 
 say that I was knocked about like a pea upon a drum- 
 head, sometimes against the top, rebounding from a hard 
 seat as if struck beneath with a sledge-hammer by a giant 
 — now holding on here and letting go there, with every 
 sort of frantic, wild and involuntary evolution. After 
 one hour's work, the vehicle was brought up at the stop- 
 ping-place with a jerk that literally plastered me against 
 the front. All tremulous with rage, I descended from 
 the infernal machine — with a vow never to re-enter 
 another, and doubtful which of the evils to prefer, a jam 
 with nine fat heavy fellows, or the exclusive property of 
 the vehicle, with two runaway colts, a blind one*, a bolter, 
 and a remorseless driver. 
 
 My excursion on the railroad I told you of in one of 
 my letters, I forget which, where the two locomotives 
 had a set-to — and of my life's being saved by the pro- 
 vidential interference of the fat old gentleman's stomach, 
 into which I incontinently pitched my cranium, much to 
 my own satisfaction but to the no small discomfort of 
 that amiable individual. The excitement there, was 
 sufficient for the time, but it was short-lived. Now in 
 Mississippi they have the art of keeping it up for hours. 
 A street fight admits of some pleasing variety. The 
 last one I witnessed at , deviated a little from the 
 
178 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 routine of those amiable and interesting exchanges of 
 civilities ; from its complication partaking somewhat of 
 the melo-dramatic, though the denouement of the piece 
 was not quite as tragical as might have been anticipated, 
 occasioning therefore some discontent and dissatisfac- 
 tion, yet upon the whole it was not a bad piece. 
 
 There being fourteen on a side armed with bowie 
 knives, hatchets and double-barrelled guns, there was a 
 pleasing variety in the manner and effects of the tout 
 ensemble movement of the parties. The affair com- 
 menced with a discharge of a load of buck-shot at a 
 respectable gentlemen, who for reasons best known to 
 himself was precipitately flying round the corner of the 
 State House. Upon the receipt of this testimonial, which 
 was lodged most unequivocally into a very susceptible 
 part of the body, a flying coat-tail favouring the recep- 
 tion, that individual acknowledged the " soft impeach- 
 ment" by some curious grimaces and distortions ; if a 
 hive of bees had been let loose upon that particular spot, 
 it could not have excited more lively emotions. It was 
 thought by some that he " piled the agony" on a little 
 too hard, and rolling and writhing about upon the ground, 
 was decidedly " not the thing." 
 
 The other gentlemen were now actively engaged in 
 the performance of their respective duties, interchang- 
 ing in the most frank, lively manner, shots from pistols, 
 thrusts from bowie knives, and blows from hatchets, 
 whilst the delighted spectators were running here and 
 there to get out of the line of fire, and applauding when 
 a good shot was made or blow dealt by their favourite 
 champion. 
 
 How long this would have continued it is impossible 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON, 179 
 
 to say, had not the Chief Justice interfered at the sug- 
 gestion of some amiable Choctaws, who could not con- 
 veniently go to court while so many curious things were 
 flying about. 
 
 The whole gang were conveyed to the Mayor's office, 
 a small shantee with one large window and door, in 
 which was seated that functionary upon a high stool, 
 that he might have a more commanding view of the 
 litigant parties. The sensibilities of one of the gentle- 
 men and leader of the late conflict, were completely 
 overcome ; having had the honour to receive at one 
 time a donation from every variety of weapon, he re- 
 mained upon the field motionless, and apparently " hors 
 de combat" but there was a revivifying energy in that 
 gentleman's body which forty hatchets could not knock 
 out. He rose therefore, like that respectable personage 
 that Hercules threw upon the ground, and who wouldn't 
 stay thrown — an indomitable old maid I should suppose, 
 from the familiar appellation of Aunt— Aunt Teus, I 
 think she was called — and after deliberately loading 
 both barrels of his gun with eighteen buck-shot in each, 
 he swore he'd have a crack at the whole covey, and as 
 the covey was gathered at that moment round the stool 
 of his worship the Mayor, both loads went into the de- 
 partment of Justice, crashing the panes of glass and 
 toppling his Excellency off of his high place with wonder- 
 ful celerity. The audience rolled out of the door laugh- 
 ing heartily at the "joke." No one was hurt, however, 
 except his Honour, who from his elevated position re- 
 ceived one shot through his cheek and two through his 
 hat. Upon some one observing to that functionary that 
 this infliction might have been spared if he had arrested 
 
180 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 the parties yesterday, he replied that "Jake never meant 
 him any harm ; that if he had been killed, Jake would 
 have buried him decently at his own expense." This 
 honourable tribute to the urbanity and friendly feelings 
 of the worthy individual who had perforated his cheek 
 and hat, was mumbled out between a finger which was 
 groping about the interior of his jaws in search of some- 
 thing that appeared to incommode him. Upon some 
 one respectfully inquiring what he was feeling for, 
 " Nothing," was the reply ; " I was only afeard some of 
 Jake's cursed plums had knocked out a favourite grinder 
 of mine." However, this propensity to shoot a Mayor 
 is not confined entirely to the southwest. " Wo be 
 unto ye that sit upon high places," not only in this in- 
 stance but in another farther north, the prophecy has 
 been verified. To " draw a bead" upon a Mayor or 
 President, is far from unfrequent, and will become quite 
 fashionable when the amiable and salutary plea of in- 
 sanity shall be established upon a firmer basis. 
 
 These are specimens of field sports, but we must look 
 at the flood as well as field, and a short excursion of a 
 five days' trip from New Orleans to Louisville, will give 
 the traveller a sample of the delights of that kind of 
 recreation. He may float in a palace with every luxury 
 to gratify the most fastidious taste, and enjoy the society 
 of elegant ladies and accomplished gentlemen, or he may 
 get on board a " bully-boat," and have the peculiar 
 gratification of racing day and night with another bully- 
 boat, on one of the most awful rivers of the world, where 
 every kind of danger imaginable threatens the passenger 
 — snags and sawyers beneath the treacherous surface of 
 the roaring flood, fire, bursting boilers, collisions with 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 1 81 
 
 other boats — and even the banks of this stream, when 
 quietly moored alongside, sink into the vortex of waters, 
 with acres of forests overwhelming every thing within 
 its sphere. 
 
 I have been snagged once and on fire twice, but a 
 two days' race with bully-boats combines every sort of 
 pleasing excitement. It were well to inform you that a 
 bully-boat, means a boat that beats every thing on those 
 waters, and performs her trips in an astonishingly short 
 space of time. But here they come, the steam at every 
 discharge from the blow pipes sounds like cannon — a 
 volume of white vapour flying into the air, as if fired 
 from a culverin, " vum — vam — vum — vam" — there they 
 whirl round a short point, called the Devil's Tooth-comb ; 
 side by side, they sweep by a flat boat, dashing the spray 
 over its unwieldy sides — those wild neighbours drop the 
 pine tree which performs the duty of a rudder from the 
 stern, and hurra with delight, with cries of" Go it, boots!" 
 " Two to one on blue streak !" " Rosin up, Pike," — 
 " Beat or burst !" The boats separate, one to take in 
 wood upon the left bank, the other upon the right, and 
 our deck-passengers rush on shore, and amidst cries of 
 " hurra ! go ahead !"— u in with it !"— in a few minutes 
 fifty cords of split ash and cotton wood are piled on 
 either side the boilers— cast off, away she goes, her oppo- 
 nent swinging out from her wooding-place at the same 
 moment; by a dexterous management of the helm, the 
 cut-water of" blue streak" cleaves into the wheel-house 
 of the rival; in a moment her guard, wheel-house, and 
 every thing is tearing up from stem to stern; a 
 passenger, bed and all, drops astonished out of his state- 
 room into the water, and floats by unheeded, whilst cries 
 
182 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 
 
 of victory resound from " blue streak" — and the pilot 
 with loud voice, as the rival dashes past the wreck, 
 bestows a passing compliment, in which the other party 
 
 is particularly requested to go as a one-sided son of 
 
 to a certain place not remarkable either for the coolness 
 of its temperature or the virtues of its inhabitants. 
 
 Such are the varied pleasures of travelling, pleasing 
 and exciting to many who have never enjoyed them as I 
 have, and therefore cannot fully appreciate my present 
 pure, unmitigated content in the bosom of peaceful Hog 
 Hollow. 
 
 Peaceful rural spot, with all thy sweet tranquillity, with 
 what infinite pleasure do I review each familiar object, 
 and calmly contemplate the tranquil animation of the 
 place. Gentle captivating Betty is there busy with her 
 milkpail, stooping to her work ; my eyeballs troll upon 
 her nine-pin legs peeping below her short linsey-woolsey 
 petticoat and chequered apron, her round smiling face 
 buried in a sun-bonnet. 
 
 " Our Jake," an interesting specimen of the genus 
 " cowboy" — whose clear whistle resounds through the 
 forest, clears the bars of the last lingering herd trooping 
 to pasture. With meek and placid mien and active tails 
 they slowly disappear down the long shady lane ; a tail 
 or two waves a parting adieu, and they are gone. The 
 wide barn door with hawk impaled above, stands " yawn- 
 ing for the coming harvest." The barn-yard is peopled 
 with a busy throng. Balanced on one leg, there stands 
 the same old rooster, upon the very block where so many 
 of his progeny had suffered under the hand of remorse- 
 less Betty. With upturned eye he watches the hawk 
 
LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 183 
 
 that with steady wing in gigantic circles sweeps the sky, 
 and cr-o-o-s a warning to the surrounding group. 
 
 From this busy scene I wander forth, rod in hand, and 
 soon am once more engaged in all the delights of 
 cherishing a nibble, where you will permit me to rest till 
 you hear from me again. 
 
 Your friend, 
 
 Isaac Walton, Jr. 
 
AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 
 
 From camp to camp, through the foul womb of night, 
 
 The hum of either army stilly sounds, 
 
 That the fix'd sentinels almost receive 
 
 The secret whispers of each other's watch : 
 
 Fire answers fire ; and through their paly flames 
 
 Each battle sees the other's number'd face. 
 
 Steed threatens steed, in high and boastful neighs, 
 
 Piercing the night's dull ear ; and from the tents, 
 
 The armourers, accomplishing the knights, 
 
 With busy hammers closing rivets up, 
 
 Give dreadful note of preparation. 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 After the capture of Fort George in 1813, the British 
 forces retired to the head of Lake Ontario, and were 
 followed by the troops of the United States under the 
 command of Generals Winder and Chandler. The scene 
 of the following incident is laid at a place called Stony 
 Creek, afterwards famous as a bloody battle-field where, 
 for the first time, the British and American troops crossed 
 bayonets. 
 
 The American army was bivouacked upon ground 
 selected with a view not only for defence, but for an 
 attack upon the encampment of the enemy, which 
 
AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 185 
 
 it was intended should be executed at an hour before 
 daybreak. The guards were properly stationed and 
 the artillery put in position to defend the approaches to 
 the encampment. The gallant Towson was the senior 
 captain of artillery, his company was therefore entrusted 
 with the defence of the road by which the enemy must 
 approach, if an attack should be made ; but though 
 every precaution was taken, there was little probability 
 of such an event occurring, as the enemy had as yet 
 scarcely recovered from the confusion incident to a 
 precipitate retreat, with the sacrifice of all their artillery, 
 baggage and stores. 
 
 The sun had sunk behind a bank of clouds, and the 
 landscape was already stained with the dark hues of 
 night. The measured tramp of bodies of men taking 
 up their positions, was heard at intervals upon the plain, 
 with the stern, brief, military commands of the officers, 
 and the rattling of arms and accoutrements. 
 
 The busy soldiers round the camp-fires, cooking their 
 evening meal, cast moving and gigantic shadows upon 
 the tall forest-trees. Through the damp dewy air, from 
 a distant outpost could be distinctly heard the sentinel 
 challenging the rounds. The hum of many voices gra- 
 dually subsided ; a general silence reigned throughout the 
 encampment, whilst an occasional call from the deep- 
 toned bugle was answered by the melancholy notes of 
 the whippoorwill from the forest. 
 
 Towson, who had never for one moment left his 
 battery, after it had been planted upon the road, but 
 having made every preparation for any sudden emer- 
 gency, was silently pacing in the rear of his pieces, 
 
 13 
 
186 AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 
 
 whilst his men were reclining upon the ground. The 
 night was dark, and those clouds, which at sunset 
 had thickly settled upon the eastern horizon, were now 
 spread over the sky and shrouded every thing in gloom; 
 not even a star was visible. The night waned fast, 
 and the chill damps of the morning began to be felt. 
 Suddenly, in the advance of his battery, a bright light 
 flashed in the distance, followed immediately by the report 
 of a single musket. In a few seconds every man of that 
 encampment had sprung to his feet, and the silence gave 
 place to the rattling of arms, and the hum of voices, as 
 the respective corps assumed their several stations. 
 Towson's cannon were charged with round and grape 
 shot, and the matches burning, ready at any moment for 
 action. 
 
 " It's a false alarm," said an active blue-eyed, ruddy- 
 cheeked youth, whose single gold epaulette, declared 
 him a lieutenant. But on the instant he sprang to his 
 post with an alacrity which plainly evinced not only his 
 readiness for any orders, but delight at the prospect of 
 an engagement. 
 
 " Shall we commence firing, sir?' 
 
 "Not yet, M'Donough," replied Towson, " it may be 
 a false alarm; an enemy who has sacrificed both artil- 
 lery and baggage to enable him to escape, is not likely 
 to become an assailant: at all events time must be 
 allowed for the guard to come in, or we shall destroy 
 our own men. The words had hardly been uttered 
 when a horseman at full speed galloped up to the bat- 
 tery, nor did he check his career till the breast of the 
 animal touched the muzzle of one of the guns. He 
 
AN INCIDENT OP THE WAR OF 1812. 187 
 
 was enveloped in an overcoat, but, by the light of a 
 fire fanned into a blaze by a passing breeze, it was 
 evident from his chateau de bras, that he was an offi- 
 cer, whether British or American, remained doubtful. 
 M'Donough rushed to the horse's head, seized the bridle, 
 and, with the point of his sword within an inch of the 
 intruder's breast, demanded his name and purpose. The 
 answer, " a friend," was given unhesitatingly and prompt- 
 ly; M'Donough let go his hold of the bridle, and dropped 
 the point of his sword — at the same moment the horse 
 was wheeled round upon his haunches, the spurs dashed 
 into his flanks, and his hoofs were heard clattering 
 down the long lane at a reckless speed. 
 
 There was no longer any doubt of the real charac- 
 ter of the horseman. It was a British officer, leading 
 a force to the attack. The column was advancing 
 rapidly. Some two hundred paces forward of Tow- 
 son's guns, of whose position the enemy were now 
 apprised, there was another lane into which their 
 column of attack could wheel, if the dashing officer 
 who had unexpectedly stumbled upon the battery, should 
 reach there in time. He then might attack the flank 
 instead of the centre of the American line, as evidently 
 was the first intention. Such a movement must be 
 fatal to the American force. There was but one way 
 to prevent this, and that was the immediate destruction 
 of the gallant horseman ere he reached the head of his 
 column. The explosion from either piece, fully charged 
 as they were with cannister shot, must annihilate horse 
 and rider. All these thoughts flashed like lightning 
 upon the youthful commander of that battery, upon 
 whose vigilance depended the safety of the army and 
 
188 AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 
 
 honour of his country's flag. Towson did not hesitate 
 to give the order; though his noble heart for a mo- 
 ment swelled with feelings of pity for the soldier 
 whose daring conduct even in the heat of battle would 
 command respect from one equally brave. Stern mili- 
 tary duty conquered the struggling sentiment. The 
 lighted matches were applied to the pieces. 
 
 Soldiers are apt to believe in destiny — founded, per- 
 haps, upon the many miraculous escapes like the one 
 we are now recording. There was no explosion from 
 either gun. Again and again were the matches applied, 
 with repeated cries from Towson to fire. " They will 
 not go oft', sir. Something is wrong, sir," replied M'Do- 
 nough, as he seized the match and whirled it round, 
 and again applied it to the touch-hole. In an instant 
 it occurred to the commander that there might be 
 treachery here — and that the guns were spiked. This 
 would account for that horseman so fearlessly riding 
 up to their very muzzles. The gallant, daring and 
 brave soldier, who was always foremost in battle, 
 and courted danger in every shape, now trembled at 
 the thought of dishonour and disgrace, which inevitably 
 must follow. His battery would be carried without 
 resistance, and the fate of the army decided. Almost 
 paralysed in every limb by these thoughts that crowded 
 upon his mind, and arrested for a moment the pulsa- 
 tions of a heart which beat alone for glory — he rushed 
 frantically to the nearest piece, with the hope of un- 
 spiking at least one of the guns. With trembling hand 
 he felt the priming. It was there. The night mists 
 had dampened the powder. He flew to a camp fire, 
 snatched from the smouldering and scattered heap a 
 
AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 189 
 
 brand, and applied it. An explosion followed, which 
 shook the dull air of night, and as piece after piece 
 burst forth in flame and smoke, he involuntary waved 
 his hat over his head. It was the music he loved, and 
 the strains were never heard by that gallant artillery 
 officer with more enthusiastic delight. All this occurred 
 in the shortest possible time, but the delay was suffi- 
 cient to enable the hero of the night to regain the head 
 of his column unscathed by the iron hail which hurtled 
 through that narrow lane. He had changed the direc- 
 tion of his column of attack, but the rear companies 
 suffered terribly under the repeated discharges from 
 Towson's " light house." 
 
 It was afterwards understood that the daring officer 
 who led the British column and had planned the attack, 
 was the assistant Adjutant General of the British forces. 
 He is now Major General Sir John Harvey. 
 
 THE END. 
 

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