UC-NRLF ^B Itb 100 DAWN TO NOON VIOLET FANE 6^^'^' Pi:^^-'iii- -^ POEMS. LONDON : PRINTED BY SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE AND PARLIAMENT STREET FROM DAWN TO NOON. POEMS BY VIOLET FANE.pSeo'cl'- Jini>Yy(La^ t^S.-K^fle-roK Cuv-ri^:? To sit alone And think for comfort how, that very night, Afifianced lovers, leaning face to face. With sweet half listenings for each other's breath. Are reading haply from a page of ours, To pause with a thrill (as if their cheeks had touched) When such a stanza, level to their mood. Seems floating their own thought out — * So I feel For thee and I for thee'. Elizabeth Barrett Browning. LONDON : LONGMANS, GREEN, AND CO. 1872. All rights reserved. Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2007 with funding from IVIicrosoft Corporation http://www.archive.org/details/fromdawntonoonpoOOfanerich CONTENTS. PAG5 To Him (Dedication) ix I. DAWN. • 3 Moonlight 5 Three Names 7 Song 9 Time 11 Lines 13 A Lock of Hair 14 Hope 17 Song iS Remembered Voices 19 iv^ja75752 VI PAGE In the Wood . 21 '* Oh ! Sing that Song you sang before " . . 24 To 25 A Dream 26 28 '*Do not forget Me!" 30 * * She cannot love Him as well as I " . . . 32 The Last of Heaven 34 ** Speak of the Past" 35 ** Farewell ! " 37 Lines 39 To 40 Three Wishes . . , . . . . . 42 **He is not here!" 43 "Are we remembered?" 44 Written on Sand 46 Vll II. NOON. PAGE To 49 **FoR Ever and for Ever!" .... 52 The Secret 54 A Thought 56 Another Thought ....... 57 Burning Letters * • 59 His Name 62 Idolatry 64 ** Oh ! LET IT BE FOR LONG ! " . . . . 68 **I Live my Life away from Thee !" . . . 70 Love's Hours 73 New Year's Day 75 "After long Years" 77 ** Tout vient a qui sait attendre " . . . 83 Love in Winter 86 To A Portrait 87 In Years to Come 89 The Coquette 91 ** He will not come ! " 92 Vlll PAGE On a Gloomy Day 94 My Records 96 London 98 A Dream of the South loi So Late .107 A Reproach . 108 ** Ah ! REMEMBER !" . . . . . . . Ill Before and After . . . . . . . 116 Alone at the Tryst" 120 Calm and StorM 123 ** The Light of other Days " . . . . 124 My King . 126 Compensation 128 Launcelot and Guinevere 131 Now . .137 TO HIM. T DEDICATE these few poor lines to Him,— -^ Love of my Life 1 Dearest of my desires ! — The one who kindled in my breast those fires Which neither time nor tide can dull or dim : Some, written in the dew of earlier tears Than longings for his love have caused to flow, And others written in the sunny glow Of years which he has bless'd,— -thrice happy years ! I give Him not alone the thoughts I frame, With them, the erring heart from which they sprung, With them, the dearest accents that my tongue Can kiss into the music of His name 1 Oh ! could I write out on a golden scroll The essence of my being ! I would then Leave but my hollow shell for other men, And give Him, with my Life and Love, — my Soul! DAWN. * Standing with reluctant feet, Where the brook and river meet, Womanhood and childhood fleet ! ' Longfellow. ^/ THE poetry that lies within the soul Cannot be written, nay, the greatest poet Is he who keeps the treasure in himself. Once given birth to, this enchanting music Is often play'd by tuneless instruments ; This lovely flow'r, whose colours beamed so fair In the dim forests of the inmost soul, Fades often when it meets the eye of day. These living pictures glowing in the heart. Strange, sweet, and variable, — in an hour Thousands created, often, when described Lose more than half their beauty. For these thoughts Are thoughts, and thoughts alone, — the pow'r of speech Destroys them, as a ray of mid-day sun Melts Winter's handiwork on frozen panes. This sweet entanglement of daylight dreams, Like creepers, with their growing tendrils twined Round the heart's core, cannot be disengaged Uninjured or unmixed, for where is he Who shaking down the clusters of the vine Knows each and ev'ry grape, or can discern One from another ? Thus with poet's dreams ! This unsung poetry, when written down And shackled in the narrow bonds of verse, Is made so poor, so weak beneath the load Of such unnatural clothing, and the weight Of high-flown words, that it becomes ere long^ No poetry at all. So bear with this ! MOONLIGHT. HIGH midst the stars the moon is risen, Amongst the fleeting clouds that chase Each other o'er the vault of heaven Into those mighty realms of space, Which far beyond all human sight Expand in floods of golden light. Beneath, the trees repeat some hist'ry Replete with awe, for each one's head Sways o'er its shade, a space of myst'ry Upon the glade where it is spread ; This is the fairest, softest hour. When all Unseen, Unknown, hath pow'r. The Queen of Night her face beholdeth In yon clear stream, that quivers gay. Shaking the image fair it holdeth As tho' to carry it away Upon its wave. Ah ! fooHsh stream ! Thou art enchanted by the beam ! Moonlight. This heart would fain to shake from off it A light as bright that weighs it down, The light of eyes that seem to scoff it, A proud cold brow, that seems to frown. Yet, as without the moon yon stream, So is it d/rk without their beam ! I try, like yonder restive river, To cast the fair remembrance hence. But like it, I must hold for ever That cruel light, at sad expense Of happiness and peace, until The spell is broken by his will ! >Xi^ THREE NAMES. UPON an oak tree's rugged bark There is a faintly 'graven mark, Carved by this hand, when it was young. It is a name, and on this tongue The sounding of that name was evermore In those sweet days of yore ! Upon a tombstone on the green Some letters, deeply traced, are seen ; 'Tis the name of the one who lies asleep Beneath that little grassy heap, Where flowers bloom above the head Of the dear remember'd dead, Whose short terrestrial race is run, And these two names belong to one. But there is yet another place, Where, in deeper letters far, I trace That self-same name. The hardy oak May fall beneath the woodman's stroke, And its bark, which bears that name so fair, May be borne away, I know not where, Three Names, The name engraved upon the stone With moss is almost overgrown, And those who knew it not before Could scarcely guess what name it bore; But neither Time, nor tide, nor place Can by their influence efface From this sad heart that cherish'd name Written upon the oak, the same That is engraved upon the stone. And these three names belonged to one, To one who once was true and kind — These names an angel left behind ! SONG. T T was a Dream, and it is dreamt ; -^ 'Tis gone, — 'tis past, — 'tis fled. But, oh ! its Spirit is with me still, Though all besides is dead ! And it haunts me yet, by the light of day, Beneath the sun's glad beam, And it haunts me in the midnight hour. This Spirit of my Dream ! Oh ! would that I could dream again A dream as fair and bright ! Then would I sleep my life away And turn my day to night ! Oh ! it was like the faUing star That flashes through the sky, Or like the echo from afar Of some sweet melody. 10 Song, But now that star has falFn to earth, I hear no more that strain, Though the echo of its sweetness For ever will remain ! II TIME. " Time is !" ** Time was!" **Time is past !" {^Spoken by the Brazen Head made by Friar Bacon.) TIME is a great Destroyer — all have told, Or else may tell (such is the fate of all !) Of hearts that 'neath his touch have waxen cold, Of blossoms that his winds have made to fall ! Time is a great Physician — he can heal The wounds that others strive to bind in vain j He can remove the poison'd barb of steel, And only leave the memory of pain ! Time is no Flatterer — his dusky wings Cannot be stay'd with riches or with might ; Nay, over those to whom he brings good things He seems to wing most rapidly his flight. 1 2 Time, Time is a Necromancer — he can change What once we lov'd, — the place, the heart, the face, Into a thing at once so sadly strange That memory no semblance there can trace ! Time is a Sexton — and he daily delves A thousand graves in which the Past is laid, Until at length his votaries themselves Forget the griefs which made them seek his aid ! Time is a Conqueror — and his magic wand Can crush the gate which Caesar smote in vain ; Behold around the traces of his hand, A mighty city crumbling on the plain ! Time is Immortal — he will ever fly As he has flown thro' centuries of light : Waste not his hours, — ^for, reader, you and I Have but a moment to observe his flight ! 13 LINES. I SAW so bright, so fair a thing, Of red, of blue, of green, A feather from an angel's wing I deemed it must have been. I seized it, with impatient grasp, All eager for my prize, When, lo ! it was a poisonous asp With red malicious eyes ! The wound inflicted by its sting I bear unto this day ; I trust so fair, so foul a thing May never come your way ! 14 A LOCK OF HAIR. HOW small a thing is this ! and yet how great, How puissant with its tearful memories ! 'Tis a remembrance of that Sleeping One, And echoes back the music of a voice Which has these many years been hush'd to us ! We said that she should ever live to us : We laid her in her grave, and silently Each mourner made a vow that years might pass, That friends might die, and new ones fill their place, Yet she should dwell with us ; of ev'ry heart That lov'd her when in life, she should, in death, Become the silent occupant, and this. Looking into her grave, we each one swore ! So time pass'd on, and with each year the wound (At first seemingly so incurable. And bleeding fresh with ev'ry fresh allusion To the sad past), heal'd slowly, unawares. A Lock of Hair, 1 5 The place was changed, old memories crept out, Then fairer, newer ones, all furtively Slunk in their place. With friends it was the same ; Their fresh and many faces half confus'd us. That sweet pale face grew paler and more pale As years pass'd on, dimmer and yet more dim ; We thought of her, 'tis true, but not as we Had thought of her before. She seem'd a form Like to an angel, beautiful and fair. But- indistinct. She was a shadowy thing, Full of angelic beauty ! but her face (That dear, dear face we kiss*d in days of yore), Which one amongst us now remembers it ? I cannot speak for others, but by me. Oh ! Absent One ! thou art remembered 1 Thy silent voice, in shadowy dreams. Has held communion with my spirit ! Upon my lips thy dear unutter'd name Has often linger'd. I have often Thought o'er its music, and ten thousand times Spelt o'er its sweetness silently ; but when I find thy shadow growing dim again 1 6 A Lock of Hair, (Lest it should fade from out my memory, Leaving no faintest trace behind, whereby To know thee, if again in higher realms We chance should meet), I gaze from time to time Upon this lock of thy dear dark brown hair As I am gazing now, and then, oh 1 C .... ! I see thee once again ; I know thee then \ I hear thy voice once more, it teaches me What is the worth of Life. I see the world In all its smallness. Then I long, dear C . . . . For that uncertain time, when with my burden I may rest by thy side, and be, hke thee. Only remember'd by the few who lov'd me ! 17 HOPE. FAINT Star of Hope ! Far on the dark horizon Of my sad life, thy rays fall tremblingly Upon my heart ; a moment there they linger, Then lend to others their sweet brilliancy, Leaving my soul in darkness worse than dying ! Oh, fickle Light ! when wilt thou cease to glimmer Around this broken altar ? Long in darkness It hath been shrouded, and thy rays forsake it *Ere its dark crevices are lighten'd by them. Oh, cruel Light ! Here shed thy beams for ever, Or leave me quite ! I could not be so hopeless As when I see the shade of what I hope for Too faint to grasp ! i8 SONG. THERE is a lustre in thine eye Which only sheds its beams for me, There is a language in thy smile Which others may not see ! There is a music in thy voice Which only echoes in my ear, There is a sadness in thy laugh Which others do not hear ! Thou hast a beauty of thine own Which others do not care to see — There is a secret in thy heart, 'Tis only told to me ! 19 REMEMBERED VOICES. T T THEN the sun's last rays have vanished ^ ^ From the distant hill, In the silence of the twilight I can hear them still, — Dear and unforgotten Voices ! I can hear you still ! As I gaze upon the shadows Lengthening on the plain. Eyes that now are closed for ever Beam on me again, — Well remembered eyes ! long slumb'ring ! Wake to me again ! Happy hour ! yet mix'd with sadness, Ere the candles beam. Let me pause, as on the threshold Of some pleasant dream, — Ere the light dispels the darkness Let me dream my dream ! 20 Remembered Voices, If before thee I should travel To the unknown shore, Thus it is that I would linger Near to thee ojice more, — I would linger in the gloaming Near to thee once more ! What is Absence, then, or dying ? What, to meet or part. If our memory lives for ever In some faithful heart ? — I would die, if I might linger Only in one heart ! 21 IN THE WOOD. IWANDER'D in the wood alone, The ev'ning mist fell soft and grey, And stars were peeping one by one To say that day was dead and gone, Alas ! for ever and for aye ! Oh ! little Star ! I know so well The gentle falling of thy rays ! Upon thy light I love to dwell, — Thy sad, soft light, which seems to tell A history of other days ! How many hearts, how many eyes Are lifting now themselves afar^ How many mystic thoughts arise, How many buried memories Out of the image of that star ! 22 In the Wood, Upon my cheek I do not feel The breath of Autumn's chilly wind, For Summer zephyrs seem to steal Upon my senses, and the Real Is fading fast from out my mind. I mind me when these trees were clad With leaves that round me now are blown, I mind me when my heart was glad, When I was never pale and sad. And did not wander thus alone. Oh ! when the Spring again appears. When flow'rs are bright and thrushes sing. Then will these eyes have dried their tears. And will the Spring of after years Be like in aught that bygone Spring ? Oh ! will the flow'rs seem half as sweet. And will the sunshine look as bright, And will the moments fly as fleet. And will this heart begin to beat As once before, when it was light ? In the Wood. 23 Was it for this that Earth was fair ? Was it for this that Love was given ? That we should look on empty air And think on that which once was there, Yet never, never grasp our heaven ? Can Joy survive each thought of Spring? Does Night set in e'er close of Day? Does Pleasure end in sorrowing? And Love, in such a wither'd thing As yon sere leaf that strews my way ? Alas ! I would that I could say ! I would that Spring could ever last, That Hope would never fade away. That Life could be one long To-day, So we should never know a Past ! 5^025^ 24 "OH! SING THAT SONG YOU SANG BEFORE ! " OH ! sing that song you sang before When Life seemed bright and fair ! Before the mem'ries and the tears Of alter'd times and after years Had risen bleak and bare ; And like a wall, between our hearts Had shut out Hope and Truth, And tinged the brightest years of Life With darker thoughts, and keener strife Than well became our youth ! Oh ! sing that song you sang before ! And as its notes shall ring, V\l close my eyes and dream once more That I am as I was of yore When last I heard you sing ! 25 TO T IKE me a little, since thou wilt not love me, Let me be something to thee in thy life, Something to 'mind thee of thy youth and beauty. When both have left thee, in those after years Which thou mayst live to see as well as others ; Then think of me, as one who stood apart And worshipped thee in silence and in sorrow, — Then think of me, and give me of thy heart (Whether I am alive or dead, what matters ?) A larger share than thou canst spare me now ! 26 A DREAM. LAST night, like a ray of light, In a dream she lingered by me — Loved, but not lost to me quite. Since, in the dim stilly night Sometimes so lovingly nigh me, That the soft flow of her hair (Dusky, all save here and there Where the gold shadow just lights it), Has hover'd my couch above, Like the tame flight of a dove Ere merciless hawk aflrights it ! C . . . . ! the touch of thy hand Last night, in the unnamed land Somewhere 'twixt waking and sleeping, Silenced the voice of my sighs. And swept from my sorrowful eyes All the sad tears I was weeping, Close to my heart sad and lone. Wearied with sorrows unknown, A Dream. 27 As thy dear gentle hand Hngers, Sorrow, and Sin, and unrest Seem not to survive in my breast The touch of thy soothing fingers ! Oh ! never forgotten dream ! Like a bright heavenly beam, Come and revisit me often ! C . . . . ! the cares which each day Crowd round my darkening way. Nightly thy presence shall soften ! Dearest ! what dangers can harm When thy dear guardian arm Clasping securely around me, | Shuts from my soul, like a veil. All that could tempt and assail And ever seek to confound me ? Thus, thus, for a little while, With thy soft reproving smile, C . . . . ! continue to guide me. Till, with my hand in thine own, I, to the country unknown Some day may journey beside thee ! 28 HE is gone ! He is gone ! and as a page unwritten, Or only traced with what is good and brave, So his young life, which all too early smitten, Sends home his soul unto the God who gave. As some bright bird, sent from a heavenly palace To linger for a while in this sad world, Or as some water-flower, whose spotless chalice Has only to the zephyr been unfurPd. So was his soul ! That bird has flown for ever Back to those golden realms, more fair than these ; That sweet white flow'r has floated down the river, Leaving to us its fragrance on the breeze. Oh ! if in Heav'n there is some highest Heaven, Some place where happiness is doubly known. Surely a dwelling-place will there be given To the pure soul so early heav'n-ward flown ! 29 And if the ones who now are sadly gazing, On all that makes his absence seem more drear, Could, to that distant land their eyes upraising, Pierce through the veil which hides him from them here ; There, with the Angels, who like him have striven. For those rich blessings, still by us unguess'd, They would behold, in God's eternal Heaven, Him who on earth had been beloved the best 30 "DO NOT FORGET ME!" DO not forget me ! when the day is ending, And dark'ning shadows gather o'er the sea ; Sometimes alone, and near this casement bending, Pause in the twilight and remember me ! Think on the brightness of the summer weather, Years, years ago, one well-remember'd day, When to the woods we wander'd forth together. Amongst the primroses and blue bells gay. Time changes all ! those blossoms now are faded, Or, if they bloom, they do not seem as fair As once before, when, by the beech-trees shaded, You twined them tenderly amongst my hair. I dash away the tear, that all unbidden Arises, when I think that this is past. And muse on all my anxious heart has hidden Since the sad ev'ning when I saw you last ! " Do not forget Me!'' 31 Earth has enough of heav'n to gild its sorrow And turn the current of its griefs away, Could we but learn to dread no dark To-morrow, And live for ever in one glad To-day ! Whilst / have mused in solitude and sadness On all the changes fleeting time can bring, Others have hallow'd to you, with their gladness, The happy hours of many another Spring. All this I know, yet when the shadows darken, And when none other better loved is by To mark your silent mood, perchance, or hearken To the soft echo of a half-heaved sigh ; Then lend to me that hour of soft emotion. And link'd in spirit let us leave the shore, And floating o'er the dark mysterious ocean. Be unto one another as before ! Do not forget me ! when the day is ending, And darkening shadows linger o'er the sea. Sometimes alone, and near this casement bending, Pause in the twilight and remember me ! 32 "SHE CANNOT LOVE HIM AS WELL AS L" SHE cannot love him as well as I, There are so many who throng her round, And she forgetteth, when they are by, The very colour of his eye, And of his voice the sound ! She hath loved others so well, so long, This can be only a passing whim," The faint last echoing of a song Ling'ring awhile behind the throng, Which was not sung for him ! Ah ! she might have loved him once, and well, But her own heart says it is now too late, And that with the bitterness which Life Hath planted in her like a knife, — 'Twere easier to hate ! " She cannot love Him as well as /.'* 33 Yet how he loves still to linger nigh, And to tread that too well trodden shore, To drink of the fount which half is dry, And read that fable in her eye So often read before ! And thus it hath been since man was bom, And *tis thus the web of life is wove, Ah ! and even I, the while I mourn, Know not the heart of him I scorn, Or e'en of him I love ! 34 THE LAST OF HEAVEN. I HAVE heard of the last of Earth, Of the last faint sigh that is given By the weary soul, ere it takes its flight To those unknown realms of endless light For which it has hoped and striven, — But now, oh ! I feel in the dim sad light Of the day that is fading fast into night, I have tasted my last of Heaven ! 35 "SPEAK OF THE PAST." SPEAK of the Past, for ever flown, It is not often that we may ; Thy words seem like stray blossoms blown From those dead flow'rs of yesterday, Or like the feathers from the wings Of angels that have pass'd away ! To dream on what was but a dream, To wait and watch, in vain, in vain ! To long in darkness for a beam Of that past hope which now is slain ; To look and long, to watch and pray For that which cannot be again : This is the madness of my soul, Thy love can never reach as far. There are two halves in ev'ry whole, But these, in Love, unequal are ; And when I know how great is mine, I feel, perforce, how small is thine ! D 2 36 " Speak of the PasC Yet, if alike our loves were given, Only awhile would last the spell, And lend our lives one ray of heaven, Only to dash them down to hell ! There is a dying worse than Death, And / should taste of that as well ! Then, though 'tis madness in our eyes, Yet sometimes speak of what is past ; Some bright unhoped-for star may rise To light one moment's gloom at last,— Till then, with coldness darken not The night in which my lot is cast ! 37 "FAREWELL!" AND now farewell ! I fain would shake The links that bind my heart to thee ; Those useless fetters I would break And let the 'prison'd one go free ! When thou art absent from my sight, And other eyes around me shine, I try to think those eyes as bright, As full of life and love as thine. What care I for another's love — Anothefs kisses on my cheek ? Another's lips repeating words I fear that thine will never speak ? I know not why my spirit sighs, For other hearts are seeking mine ; And I can read in other eyes The tenderness I miss in thine. 38 ''Farewell!'' Yet 'tis in vain ! Thy friendship cold — The calm esteem I have from thee, Is dearer, oh ! ten-thousand fold, Than Love, which others give to me ! 39 LINES. THEY tell me I am much too young To muse upon the Past — That I am but a child, they say I should be living for To-day, Whilst youth's short pleasures last. They tell me they have had their Past, Their happy Yesterday ; They say if now my life be sad. What will it be when I have had Real sorrows, such as they ? Alas ! I know I may become E'en sadder at the last, But now I sigh, as well as they ; For young and fair, and old and grey. We all have had a Past ! 40 TO ... . T LEAVE thee now, if I could ever love thee, -*- Fate hath prevented such a consummation, And nipped the bud ere yet it was a blossom ! I leave thee ! and with thee, may be, I lose My hold on Happiness, on Life, on Love ; I leave thee, and in flying thee, may be I fly a snare, an error, or a heart Broken unwittingly by fickleness ! Thou art so often present in my thoughts, Yet in thyself but yet so dimly known, 'Tis well I cannot read within thy heart. Perhaps its bitter mock'ry of my own ! Oh ! Heart unknown ! If thou hast ever mused. As I have done, upon a half-closed book, Hoping its pages fraught with sympathies, Or learnt the eager language of a look — To , , . , . 41 Then thou hast known me better than I deemed ; The speaking language of our meeting eyes Has made us friends already, and our hearts Linked with unuttered mystic sympathies ! Adieu, then, Friend I I leave thee, once again To thy blue eyes I look my last farewell ! I leave with thee, perchance, my Hope, my Life, Perchance my curse, my death, for who can tell? 42 THREE WISHES. T ONLY ask'd to love thee, 'twas a boon -■■ I deem'd the haughtiest would scarcely spurn ; I only ask'd to give thee all my heart, And pra/d for nothing in return ! I loved thee then, and with no common love, But with that love another wish there grew. And fervently I pray'd both day and night That thou might'st some day love me too ! That time is past ; but in these many days Since the bright summer-time when last we met, Another wish, another pray'r I raise — That wish, that pray*r \%^o forget ! 43 "HE IS NOT HERE!" THE voice of Spring is whispering through the land, "Rejoice, sad one ! who through the long dim days' Of dismal Winter's reign, wert wont to stand And sigh in darkness for the sun's bright rays — Rejoice ! for Nature will not hear thee sigh — This is no time for musings lone and drear " — Yet sighing only can my heart reply " In vain, I cannot smile, — he is not here ! " 44 "ARE WE REMEMBERED?" OFTEN, when hearts are beating high, When pleasure beams from evVy eye ; When sounds of music rise and fall. And laughter rings through festive hall ; Unseen ones mingle with the crowd, And voices murmur, half aloud, " Are we remembered ? " Ah ! gentle eyes ! in many a dream Since last you closed, I've seen you beam ! Dear voices ! I can hear you now Murm'ring in accents soft and low, " We are remembered I " A year ago — a month, may be — And they were smiling here, as we ; A year from now, and we, as they, To other beating hearts may say, "Are we remembered?" ^^ Are we remembered ?" 45 Then may the answer be the same, From faithful lips, whereon our name Lingers un uttered ! Blest are they Who in a world of change can say, " We do remember ! " 46 v" WRITTEN ON SAND. I WROTE upon the shining sands The name that I loved the best, Ere I saw the sun, in a glow of light, Sink down in the distant West. Then the wild sea-breeze blew loud and shrill, Yet I lingered by the shore. Till the waves crept over the written word. And I saw that name no more ! And though it was only a written word. Yet I would that it had stay'd, For I learnt a lesson true and sad As I watched those letters fade ! And I wonder'd if there was a land — A far-off heavenly place — Where the letters traced on the heart's warm sand Time's waves would not efface. II. NOON. " Man's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'Tis woman's whole existence . . . ." Byron. 49 TO I TAKE my pen, and almost weep to find That I can only write of what I know — Athwart the shrunken mirror of my mind No varied forms pass glittering to and fro. No clanking forms of gallant knights and squires WTiose glories once my childish voice would praise, No feudal castles, from whose turret spires The captive maid her ev'ning song would raise. (That song the earl might hear, who rode hard by In bright array, and echoing through the dell Her voice might reach his heart, and he might try To win her love who sang to him so well, But ah ! she loved his page ! . .) Thus did the charms Of mediaeval fancy ebb and flow ; My soul seem'd all astir with men at arms. My eager heart dream*d only of the foe ! 50 To Palfrey and falcon — helm and nodding plume, The sheen of armour and the gleam of spears, Made of my brain a kind of lumber-room Stored with these relics of the bygone years. But now how changed ! To me o?ie knight alone Seems to deserve the honour of his spurs ; And the one heart my heroine deems her own Seems to beat all as loyally as hers ! / am my own unworthy heroine now. And you the noble knight with gallant crest ; Your colours blush triumphant on my brow, Your waving pennon flutters o'er my breast ! And so I write of Love — my waking dream, And so I write of you, and only you. And all monotonous my songs must seem To those who cannot love you as I do. Yet, as the limpid waters of a stream Are still the same, though view'd from either shore, So on the changeless river of my dream Flows to the same soft music evermore. To SI Its source is in the heart that beats for you ; And onward to the flood-gates of the tomb Its waters glisten with the self-same hue, Save where or shine or shade lends light or gloom. Take then the flow'rs it bears upon its wave ; And should your wand'ring fancy find them fair, Think that your breath alone their fragrance gave, Nor scorn to gather what you planted there. Take all the gold that mingles with its sand ; Since, like the Hebrew Prophet long ago, Yours was the wond'rous touch, the magic wand, That smote the rock and bade the waters flow ! 52 "FOR EVER AND FOR EVER!" I THINK of all thou art to me, I .dream of what thou canst not be ; My life is curst with thoughts of thee For ever and for ever ! My heart is full of grief and woe, I see thy face where'er I go; I would, alas ! it were not so For ever and for ever ! Perchance if we had never met, I had been spared this mad regret, This endless striving to forget, For ever and for ever ! Perchance if thou wert far away, Did I not see thee day by day, I might again be blithe and gay. For ever and for ever ! " For Ever and for Ever / '* 53 Ah, no ! I could not bear the pain Of never seeing thee again ! I cling to thee with might and main, For ever and for ever \ Ah, leave me not ! I love but thee ! Blessing or curse, which e'er thou be, Oh ! be as thou hast been to me. For ever and for ever ! 54 THE SECRET. THE words I dare not tell to thee^ To Earth and Sky, to flower and tree, I softly breathe : the Summer's shine Has warm'd those whispered words of mine ; The Winter's snow, the Autumn's blast Have guess'd my secret as they pass'd ; The sparkling waves of tideless seas Have learnt it of the murmuring breeze ; Yet all unchanged, — no Summer glow E'er thaw'd thy breast, oh ! Winter Snow \ At those warm words ! Oh \ sunny sea ! Thou art as thou wert wont to be 1 Thy fickle wavelets kiss the shore, Then lose themselves for evermore ; The blast unheeding, hurries by, No meteor flashes through the sky, As, leaning from my casement's height, I tell my Secret to the Night. The Secret 5 5 Oh ! if, like Nature, all unmoved, l^hou^ too, couldst learn how thou wert loved, If what thy heart may long have guessed Raised no emotion in thy breast. But that felt by the wanton child Who breaks the toy on which it smiled ; If, having gain'd it, this poor prize Should seem the poorer in thine eyes, And grow more worthless worn and won, — Then am I right to breathe to none Save Earth and Sea, and Sky above me, The words, " I love thee, oh ! I love theeT^ .^pi)^ 56 A THOUGHT. AT night, as lying half awake I muse upon my souFs desire, Out of the embers of the fire There seems to glide a glitt'ring snake. Sucking my life, with poisonous hate That serpent coils till morning's rise, And whispers, " On his bosom lies A dearer form — a warmer weight." Oh ! if from coiling near my heart That viper would become my friend ! If its soft gliding tongue would end This aching wound from which I smart ; Then I would call it by some name. Love or Despair (which would be best V)- And pressing it unto my breast Would fondle it, and make it tame ! 57 ANOTHER THOUGHT. /^~\ H ! cling to me still ! Do not move ! ^-^ Yet awhile press thy heart to my heart, And kiss into the Life of my Love Darling ! its Sou/, which thou art ! Warm with the warmth of thy breath, And light with the light of thine eyes, The life I would raise from the death We have died to the World and its ties ! Oh ! lend it the sound of thy voice, Oh ! lend it the charms of thy face, And dress the dear hope of my choice In thy garments of beauty and grace. So that, e'en should'st thou, Darling, depart, Should 1 nestle no more in thy breast, I may still to the /learf of my heart Press the flow'r of the love thou hast blest % 58 Another Thought, Ah ! then I could wander alone, Whilst bearing that burden of bliss, My Darling's yet doubly my own, Sweet echo of moments like this ! 59 V BURNING LETTERS. BURN, bum, oh ! burning letters ! Alas ! and as ye fade away, So may the love that once inspired you, So may the heart that once desired you, Before the breath of Time decay ! Oh ! words that have been warm'd with kisses ! Oh ! words that have been wet with tears ! Oh ! words that have been bless'd and cherished ! What will remain, when ye have perished. To light me in the coming years? ; How shall I know my Darling loved me, Oh ! by what sign, since kisses die ? Since lips grow silent, and cold faces Learn to forget the burning traces Of love which has been long put by ? 6o Burning Letters, Oh ! dear blue eyes ! that I have lived for ! You looked upon this written line ! Oh ! hands that traced these tender phrases ! Oh ! lips, that once could sing my praises, How fondly you have clung to mine ! How can I bum what He has written, What I so long have hidden her el How can I banish thus completely All these dear words, which sound so sweetly, All these sweet names, which are so dear ? Yet oh ! 'tis better they should burn now, Whilst His warm heart still beats for me, Than that, upon some dark to-morrow, 1 should gaze on them, in my sorrow, And say, " These words are warm — not He!'^ Ah ! though I would for ever cherish Each word that He could write or say, I would not that these letters only Should be the sad memorials lonely Of something that had pass'd away ! Burning L etters. 6 1 '"S I would not read the words I loved so, Knowing their meaning gone and dead, A bitter mockery of Pleasure, The echo of a joyful measure After the melody had fled ! Then, whilst I still can hope He loves me, Then, whilst His love may last, I pray. As warm, as passionate, as this is, Go ! wet with tears, go ! warm with kisses. Into the flames, and fade away ! ■^■©i^ 62 I HIS NAME. OH ! for some new-coin*d name by which to call him! Oh ! for some name no other lips can give ! " Love " has been said by those who loved so coldly, " Life " has been said by those who could not live/ " Darling," the sweetest name without a meaning, " Soul," often said to many a soulless thing, " Dearest," oft said to those who are not dearest, " Treasure," to what is not worth treasuring ! Oh ! I would have his new-found name mean " Beauty^'* And I would have his new-found name mean ^^ Love^^ Oh ! and his name must also mean " For ever,'' Whilst there is Earth beneath and Heav'n above ! And I would have it also mean " a Blessing" And I would have it also mean ** a Shrine,'' And I would have it also mean " a Longing" And it must also mean that he is mi?ie I His Name, 63 And I would have it also mean " my Idol^' And I would have it also mean " my breath^^ Life of the very life I live and breathe from, Soul, that will even warm my very death ! Where shall I find this magic name to give him? How shall I learn to spell this hidden word ? Oh ! shall I find it cradled on the zephyr ? Or lurking in the wood-notes of the bird ? Or, far away, where yonder pink horizon Lures on the Night with many a golden streak, There, whisper'd in the clear -toned notes of Angels, Oh ! some day, shall I find the name I seek ? 64 IDOLATRY. GOD, who alone knows whence we came, Made us half fire, and half of clay, Fire, which consumes the earth away. And earth, extinguishing the flame. Sometimes a flame, sometimes a clod, Earth-bound, or looking to the skies, So is my soul, but either wise. On earth, I look to you as God ! Above me, on His golden throne I seem to see, 'twixt darkness riven. The God of All, in highest Heaven, A Being terrible — ^unknown — Holding the puppets, Life and Death, At times allowing them their will, Or bidding them, at times, be still, And chiding them, with awful breath ! Idolatry. 65 To countless worlds and kingdoms more Hurling, from His high hunting-grounds Blessings and curses, as to hounds Are flung the scraps they scramble for — Dealing new forms of Life and Death, Or unnamed gifts, unlike our own. New kinds of happiness, and woes unknown, Unguess*d by us, who crawl beneath ! Giving His will of snow and hail To unknown continents, which lie (Shaming our poor geography), Out of our ken, — beyond our pale — Or lending summer-tide and light Or what to us seems bright and warm, To countless myriads, who swarm Beyond what we have called our sight. Crushed by such thoughts, yet feeling here The sparks of some eternal fire Warm at the heart of my desire, Knowing some part of God is near — F 66 Idolatry, (For 'midst this ill-match'd human crew, Some have, Hke me^ pow'r to create The idols that they consecrate, Others seem God-Uke, made Hke you)^ And if this ray of heav'nly fire (Seen or imagined, felt or guess'd, Rising in mine^ or in your breast) Can cleanse my heart, and raise it higher- - Far from this surging sea below, To Him who sent it me, this beam, Like an unutter'd pray'r, may seem, The worship of the God I know ; He (that great Pow'r by whom 'twas giv'n) May view with kind immortal eyes My soul's idolatry arise From you^ my heav'n, to His high Heav'n. And as my flutt'ring pinions soar To those bright realms, where He may be. May pardon the sweet blasphemy Which makes me know and love Him more ! Idolatry, 67 And if, before me, o'er the wave Of far Eternity's blue sea, My IdoFs soul should float, and be Commingled with the God who gave ; Then, lifting up to His high throne The voice of an adoring pray'r (Feeling my whole of Heav'n is there), God and my Idol will seem one ! 68 "OH! LET IT BE FOR LONG!" IF it is not for ever, Oh ! let it be for long ! Oh ! do not too lightly sever A link so dear and so strong ! Whilst I have powV to please thee, Whilst my poor presence charms, Never will I release thee, Thy prison shall be my arms ! But when the spell is over That bids thee linger nigh, Then fly to another and love her — She will love thee less than I. And when thy soft lip presses Hers, who more dear may be, The ghosts of my dead caresses Will glide between her and thee ! " Oh ! let it be for long ! " 69 Then e'en if not for ever, Oh, let it be for long ! Oh ! do not too lightly sever A link so dear and so strong ! ;o '' I LIVE MY LIFE AWAY FROM THEE !" AS the sad sighing of the wind that blows Outside the windows that we firmly close Against its breath, or as the distant sea Murmurs afar, and is not always heard But only when no louder sound is stirr'd, So, under all, through all, my being flows This song, " I live my life away from thee ! " What matter, if the years bring good or ill ? What can they hope, who ever hope on still Against all Hope ? And after Hope is dead ? Oh ! lost, lost Love ! Oh ! bitterer than this. Love I have known, — Love I have loved to kiss Yet cannot hold ! Love, I have loved my fill Yet thirst for now ! What shall I love instead ? Oh, Love ! oh. Life ! will it be always so, Through my whole life, and wheresoe'er I go ? Oh ! how so fair the sights that I may see What will they profit me ? Thou art not here ! And ever, ever, ringing in mine ear I seem to hear, in accents sad and low. The words, " I live my life away from thee I " " / Live my Life away from Thee / " 71 What takes his place, that is worth harbouring, Love the Immortal, Love, the only King Time, the great leveller, can ne'er dethrone ? What may we clasp, whose arms have closed on him Who can rule soul, and breath, and life, and limb ? What other leader is worth following ? Who can know other loves, him having known ? Oh ! in the sea of such a dear delight Let me be buried deep and out of sight ! Drown'd in the waters of that sweet warm sea, Clinging to lips, that living, I may lose, Dying the happy death that I would choose Were it e'en given us to die aright ! But ah ! "I die my death away from thee ! " Because most seeming loves are calm and cold. Bought for a song and all as lightly sold. Let not the ones who know Love as he is Fling him away ! Of all that has been given, Love is the gift that brings us nearer Heaven Than any other gift the world can hold. And perfect Love is nearest perfect bliss. T2 " / Live my Life away from Thee ! " Then let me lose myself in his sweet ways, Or let me die, before these golden days Die, or the pleasure of them dies in me ! Oh ! sweet were death, if only, half in death, I could but silence that sad, sighing breath, That even then, I fear me, would upraise The wail, " I live and die away from thee ! " 73 LOVFS HOURS. THE hours that we have passed together Would scarcely make one golden year, One golden year of sunny weather 'Midst other years of darkness drear, Though, spread upon the grass, our kisses, Would warm a space as broad as this is, From there to here ! Stolen from a world of death and sorrow, These happy hours of life and bliss Enough of heav'nly joy can borrow. That Angels (could they look at this) Would surely shroud their wond'ring faces To see how much of Heaven's traces Lurk'd in a kiss ! Oh ! some have said that e'en the fleetness Of these dear hours we call our own. May lend them something more of sweetness Than would have clung to them alone. Ah ! who can say ? For who has striven To guess which pathway led to Heaven — Once Heav'n is known ? 74 Love's Hours. Yet, should'st thou deem that they have guess'd it, (The sages who have told us this), Then, would to Heav'n that I could test it. And cling for ever to thy kiss ! Then should I know if 'tis the fleetness Of these dear hours that makes their sweetness. Or whether their exceeding fleetness Flows from their own surpassing sweetness. Or what it is 1 75 NEW YEAR'S DAY. AS, in a week, alternate days Are bright with sun, or dark with storm. As some are chill, and some are warm With southern winds, and sunny rays — So, in men's lives, the changing years Bring mirth or sorrow, joy or pain, Some heralded with merry strain, Some with a passing bell, and tears ; But as those years, that now are gone With drooping heads, and folded wings, Into the dusk of bygone things. Resembled not this new-fled one — So, to the hearts that now are sad, May come new hopes of joy and peace, So, to the gay, fears lest they cease, Those joys that made the past year glad ! 76 New Year's Day. To thee and me, the uncoin'd hour May bring a world of change unguess'd, (Save to that love, which in my breast Blooms like some fair immortal flower). For thee I wish each coming day May bring upon its bosom fair Some hidden blessing, and that Care At its light step may haste away ! And as for me^ no greater bliss I ask of Time, than that he may Bring thy heart nearer mine each day, And thy lips nearer to my kiss ! Or if, to both, the coming years Are bound in equal share to bring New pleasures, and new sorrowing. Take thou the smiles, leave me the tears ! 77 "AFTER LONG YEARS." AS I stand upon the pathway where I saw you standing last, I look vainly for your footprints, for so many more have pass'd ; They have press'd upon those dear ones, and have trodden them away. And these others, that came after, will be trodden out as they. Then I think *' Life is a pathway, and the footprints are the years. Where our sorrows mock our laughter, and our smiles efface our tears. As with livings so with loving^ changing figures come and go. Sweeping out each other^s footmarks with their flit- tings to and fro." Ah ! my Darling, then I wonder if at sunset, when you gaze O'er the country you have travell'd, with its sad and pleasant ways, 78 ''After long Years:' Will you mark where fell my footsteps on your path- way for a space, Ere the coming feet of others shall have swept away their trace ? Can I think it ? dare I hope it ? when together hand in hand, For a little while we joumey'd, — when our shadows on the sand Seem'd as one for but one moment, and alas ! then two again. Dare I hope that any record of my passing will remain ? Or, when in your mem'ry's mirror all your vanished loves shall pass. Will my shadow linger longer than those others in the glass ? With a look half sad, half mocking, — half in smiles and half in tears. Will my lips waft something to you like the kiss of bygone years ? When / vanish, who will follow ? Will you loose or hold her fast ? Will she linger as I lingered ? Will she pass as others pass'd ? '^ After long Years!' 79 In the dim uncertain future, who shall come you may not guess, She may sweep me from your mem'ry with the trailing of her dress ; You may lose me in her beauty, and forget me in her smile, And her breath may fade the picture that you cherish'd for a while. Hast'ning past those days of sunshine, when our lives seem'd merged in one. From the sunshine you may hurry to the presence of the sun, For it may be that the moments were but wasted loving me. Or only the foreshadowing of happier ones to be! But ah ! if they love more fondly (future love or future wife). If my living was not loving — if my loving was not Life^ Oh ! then drive my tremb'ling spirit from the thresh- hold of your heart, Let me hear you taunt and mock me as I shudder and depart ! 8o ''After long Years!' Let me see the eyes I worshipped on another shed their beams, And then let me fade forgotten to the chilly land of dreams ! Ah ! I fain would drop the curtain on my wand'ring thoughts that range, For here nothing can be certain but the certainty of change j Dare we promise, or un-promise, to remember or forget, Knowing all the changeling changes that the Future may beget ? But the Present is our own still, and I hug and hold it fast, As the sailor in a tempest fastens wildly to the mast ; For I know not, if I loose it, what my future fate may be ; Are the waters sweet or bitter of that dim unfathom'd sea? Till our " Never " is " For ever," till " To-morrow " is "To-day"; Till all Future things are Present, till our Present fades away ; " After Long Years'' 8 1 Dare we plan or dare we promise ? All the voices of my mind Seem to say, " Beware and tremble, lest to-morrow be not kind ; Lest your Heaven be not Heaven — lest your Idol should depart ; " But " I love you, oh ! I love you /" say the voices of my heart. Oh ! forsake me, and forget me, Oh ! be cruel and unkind j I forget it — I forgive it ! round your life my love is twined ; You have made my world a heaven, you have fill'd my soul with bliss, And the thirst of all my being is forgotten in your kiss L Ah ! my Darling, on the pathway of the life that I have trod. Deeply printed are your footsteps, like the footsteps of a god; Treading out all fainter traces — seaPd for ever in the sand. Marking which were pleasant places in that unfor- gotten land ! G 82 '' After Long Yearsy And your shadow, not as others^ will it fade away and pass, I shall stretch my arms towards it when I see it in the glass ; I shall cling to it and kiss it, — I shall whisper to it, " Stay ! " For your mem'ry shall be my love, when j'^wr love has pass'd away ; Oh ! then love me for a little, for I live but for your smile. Betwixt coming loves and going, let me linger for a while ! If you leave me can I blame you ? Shall I hunger for you less ? No forsaking makes forgetting ! In my haunted lone- liness, I shall bow before the Power that reclaims what has been given. And live upon his memory who made the earth seem Heaven. 83 "TOUT VIENT A QUI SAIT ATTENDRE." ALL hoped-for things will come to you Who have the strength to watch and wait,- Our longings spur the steeds of Fate, — - This has been said by one who knew. She loved you when your heart was cold, Her eyes said "yes " when yours said ** nay," You love, — her heart is turn'd away And beats no longer as of old ! He sang to her at early dawn. She turn'd away and would not hear ; She seeks him now, he is not near, She craves his love — his love is gone ! She pray'd for yours — you long for hers \ Hers lived last year, yours lives to-day ; His lived, but now has passed away, — And when she calls no answer stirs ! G 2 84 '* Tout vient d qui suit attendre'' How make it well for him — ^for her ? How clip the pinions of her heart To give to his the longer start ? For whom the rein ? — to whom the spur Ah, darling ! could we run this race (This race of loving), side by side, I should gain knowledge how to ride, To keep our hearts at equal pace ! But ah ! betwixt us sea and plain Are stretch' d afar in dreary line. And if your longing equals mine, Or if your loving wax or wane, I know not, for I cannot see. So far from mine your pathway lies. In vain I strain my weary eyes. Your life is lived away from me ! Ah ! rare, indeed, if heart to heart, If soul to soul can cling and turn, If love for love can breathe and burn When each is torn so far apart ! " Tout vient a qui suit attendrer 85 Ah ! " All things come to those who wait " — (I say these words to make me glad). But something answers soft and sad " They co7ne^ but often come too late!'* 86 LOVE IN WINTER. THE ground is white with driven snow " How cold ! " say they who do not know For warmth and shelter where to go, (/know ! /know!) Cling to me ! Love me ! Kiss me, so ! And warm'd by Love's delicious glow Forget that there is Death or Snow ! Again ! ah ! so ! 87 TO A PORTRAIT. I GAZE once more upon your pictured face, Oh ! you who made my weary life so glad ! Till with the light I see within your eyes My soul is madden'd, and I almost fear To look, whilst I am missing you alone, Upon this tempting mockery of Heaven ! Oh ! all too faithful likeness of my love ! • He looks as when his arms embraced me last, When all the ardent azure of his eyes Look'd up towards me, melting into mine. Oh ! cruel picture ! passionate yet cold, Warm icy image of the one I love ! Hide out of sight those lips I cannot kiss, And press'd against the heart that beats for him^ Sleep till the dawn. — Yet listen to my dreams (If that which has not voice may haply hear,) And when the gold that veils this eager glance Is warm and throbbing from my throbbing heart, SS To a Portrait. Then will you learn the secrets of my soul And all my breast has hidden until now, For knowing that these speaking lips are mute I shall not fear to dream of Love and him. Good-night, dear Disappointment ! all too like The one I love to make my slumber calm, Feeling the little golden chain that clasps Around the neck where once his arms have been ! Good-night, so like him, and yet so unlike, To let me kiss and cling to you alone ! Send me your kinder semblance in a dream, And let me pass away these hours of night With one so like to you, yet so unlike ! 89 IN YEARS TO COME. THE years to come may sweep away What now we prize, and turn to grey This curly dark brown hair, The years may dim these ardent eyes And turn to tender memories These moments that seem fair. Yet, if they leave me still your kiss, All else they steal I shall not miss, And folded in your arms The voice I love will sound as sweet As now, whilst kneeling at my feet You praise my youthful charms ! Our eyes may be too tired to read, But book or pen we shall not need, Since, echoing in each breast. Will linger still the tender truth. The history that in our youth We used to love the best ! go In Years to Come, Then bless these moments ere they fade, (For, Curly Head, this song is made For you and only you !) And whilst your heart is young and light, And whilst your hair is brown and bright, And whilst your eyes are blue, Lay up a store for future hours Of fleeting love's departing flowVs Which I will treasure too. 91 THE COQUETTE. I LISTENED, scarcely knowing that I listened, It nestled in my unsuspecting breast, I mark'd its plumage fair, and eyes that glisten'd, And smoothed with careless hand its golden crest. I call'd it now a curse, and now a blessing, I fondled it, I tortured, and caress'd. Till wearied of my teasing and caressing, It flew away, and yet I never guess'd — It flew away, and as I watched it flying. And saw its pinions fluttering above, I stretch'd my arms towards it, wildly crying, " Return ! and be again my captive dove ! " But ah ! its gentle voice made no replying. In vain to lure it back to me I strove — And all the voices of my heart are sighing, " Ah ! it was Love ! " 92 ''HE WILL NOT COME!" HE will not come ! The dim deserted street Is black and silent, save when now and then, The passing feet (alas !) of other men Deceive my aching heart and make it beat — He will not come ! Ah ! who is it that makes him break his tryst, And almost her poor heart who waits him now, Pressing against the window-pane the brow, And longing Hps he has so often kiss'd ? He will not come ! He will not come ! and somewhere far away His ears may hear the echo of my moan. His eyes may see me watching here alone. His heart may guess my anguish as I say, " He will not come ! " "// Co., Printers, New-street Square, London. GENERAL LIBRARY UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA— BERKELEY RETURN TO DESK FROM WHICH BORROWED This book is due on the last date stamped below, or on the date to which renewed. Renewed books are subject to immediate recall. b^^'" .«*> ,r>>' .'*. ^\%f ,.'^ -^f ^^Nvi". I^\)G' ■4 \)^ ■'96* LD 21-100m-l,'54(1887sl6)476 t^'^v VC159242 THE UNIVERSITY OF CAUFORNIA UBRARY 1 J^f