J
 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below 
 
 SOUTHERN BRANCH 
 
 iJNlVERSlTY OF CALIFORNIA, 
 
 LIBRARY, 
 
 il-OS ANGELES, CALJF.
 
 Betteb Business Books 
 
 BETTER 
 BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 "D ■C"T* 'X* p* "D 
 
 BUSINESS ENGLISH 
 
 BETTER ADVERTISING 
 
 By 
 JOHN M. MANLY 
 Head of the Department of Eng- 
 lish, The University of Chicago 
 
 and 
 JOHN A. POWELL 
 The Holtzer-Cabot Electric Com- 
 pany, Chicago 
 
 Three Volumes, Uniformly Bound 
 
 in Leatherette, Pocket Size. 
 
 Per Volume, $1.50
 
 Better Bugtncgg Bookg 
 
 BETTER BUSINESS 
 LETTERS 
 
 A Practical Desk i\Iaiiual Arranged for Ready 
 
 Reference, with Illustrative Examples of 
 
 Sales Letters, Follow-Up, Complaint, 
 
 and Collection Letters 
 
 BY 
 
 JOHN M. MANLY 
 
 Head of the Department of English 
 The University of Chicago 
 
 AND 
 
 JOHN A. POWELL 
 
 The Holtzer-Cabot Electric Company, Chicago 
 
 47114 
 
 CHICAGO 
 FREDERICK J. DRAKE & CO. 
 
 PUBLISHERS
 
 Copyrig-ht, 1921 
 
 By 
 
 FREDERICK J. DRAKE & CO. 
 
 Printed in V. S. A.
 
 
 PREFACE 
 
 If one were to attempt to put into practice all the 
 rules and suggestions that have been printed on the 
 subject of business letters, the letters produced would, 
 it must be admitted, be stiff and ponderous. They 
 would resemble the weighty "essay" of half a century 
 ago, rather than a present-day sales talk. Certainly 
 this would be true if it were regarded as necessary to 
 embody in each letter all the rules laid down regarding 
 "opening," "description," "argument," "proof," 
 "persuasion,'* "clinching," and the various interme- 
 diate embellishments. 
 
 Most books on the subject of business letters devote 
 far more space to these features than does the present 
 work. The authors believe it is wiser to give to the 
 subject a treatment that is suggestive rather than one 
 that is exhaustive and likelj' also to be exhausting. 
 
 This book is designed, not as a textbook on the sub- 
 ject of business letters, but as a practical aid to the 
 man who is trying to train himself to break away from 
 the stiff and commonplace office letter that is "natural" 
 to him only because it has become habitual. It is de- 
 signed to serve him as a manual for desk use, to which 
 he can turn, at the moment of dictation, for a sugges- 
 tion or a rule applicable to the class of letter he is about 
 to write, A work that is to serve such a purpose must 
 not be "long winded" or full of abstract discussion of 
 theoretical rules. It must, on the contrary, be simple 
 and brief in its treatment of the rules, and at the same
 
 PREFACE 
 
 time not so crowded with examples as to suggest the 
 use of an}' one of them as a model for a concrete case. 
 
 The one thing above all others that the book seeks to 
 emphasize is that business letters should be business 
 talks in writing, with the "human" element predom- 
 inating. If the ability to write letters of this sort is 
 recognized as the first thing to be striven for, the reader 
 will appreciate better the proportionate weight w^hich 
 should be accorded to the more technical elements. Atten- 
 tion, interest, desire, decision, are the emotions that must 
 necessarily be awakened in the mind of the prospect 
 before a sale can be effected. Technically speaking, this 
 is accomplished only through description, argument, " 
 proof, persuasion, and a ''clinching" close. Yet there 
 is often no sharp or clear division between these pro- 
 cesses. No two letter-writers accord the same weight, 
 or devote the same amount of space, to any one of these 
 elements; and the same writer will, in different sales 
 letters, lay greater stress on one element in today's sales 
 letters than he did in those of yesterday. 
 
 After all, it is human nature to vary in one's own 
 mental outlook from day to day. Being human in one's 
 letters includes, then, a necessary variation in surface 
 expression — ancl this is the very thing to be desired. It 
 means freedom from conventional phrases; it means 
 being one's self. 
 
 If, therefore, the rules laid down in this book are 
 treated as a framework on which must be hung the per- 
 sonal wardrobe, so to speak, of the writer of letters, the 
 object of the authors will have been attained. 
 
 The Authors. 
 
 Chicago, 1921.
 
 TABLE OF CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 I. The Atmosphere of Business Letters 
 
 1. Knowledge of the Goods 
 
 2. Knowledge of the Prospect 
 
 3. A Weil-Considered Plan 
 
 II. The Framework of the Sales Letter 22 
 
 1. The Opening 
 
 a) Replies to Previous Letters of Inquiry 
 6) Original Sales Letters 
 
 2. The Description 
 
 3. Explanation, Argument, and Persuasion 
 
 4. The "Clincher" Climax 
 
 III. Details That Contribute to Successful Sales Let- 
 ters 71 
 
 1. Replies That Are Not Orders 
 
 2. Importance of a Comparative Study of Letters 
 
 3. The Psychological Value of Style 
 
 4. Futile Phrases 
 
 IV. Follow-Up Letters 83 
 
 1. Follovk^-Ups to Original Sales Letters 
 
 2. Follow-Ups to Inquiries 
 
 3. Original Follow-Up Campaigns 
 
 V. Collection Letters 105 
 
 1. Commercial Accounts 
 
 2. Instalment Collections 
 
 3. Retail Accounts
 
 CONTENTS 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 VI. Answering Complaint Letters 127 
 
 1. Where Investigation Is Needed 
 
 2. Where the Claim Is Without Merit, but Is 
 Granted as a Matter of Policy 
 
 3. Where the Claim Is Granted Because the Seller 
 Is in the Wrong 
 
 4. Where Settlement of the Claim Is Refused 
 
 5. Closing Maxims 
 
 VII. Hints on Salesmanship as Applied to Business 
 
 Letters 148 
 
 VIII. Conclusion 156 
 
 Index t 161
 
 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 THE ATMOSPHERE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Why persons who can write an absorbingly interesting 
 or witty social letter, and whose family letters are full 
 of naturalness and "human interest," cannot do the 
 same with their business letters is one of the questions 
 that the Sphinx has failed to answer. Many a business 
 man will write to his social acquaintances informal notes 
 which reflect his personality in charmingly attractive 
 ways, and yet, as soon as he sits down to write or dic- 
 tate a business letter, the same man seems to think it 
 necessarj^ to submerge his personality in formalities and 
 in commonplace phrases which, for some reason or other, 
 are considered businesslike. 
 
 The greatest mistake that can be made is to assume 
 that a business letter must be formal, must avoid any- 
 thing like individuality, and must utilize the old, shop- 
 worn phrases that make the average business communi- 
 cation a dreary imitation of thousands of equally dreary 
 predecessors. A realization of this fact has, in recent 
 years, begun to trickle into the business consciousness, 
 with the result that the brighter minds are breaking 
 away from time-worn phraseology and are making their 
 correspondence a reflection of the personality of the 
 writer — as it ought to be. 
 
 9
 
 10 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 We propose to approach gradually and logically to 
 a discussion of how this is to be brought about. We 
 shall consider first some general principles applicable 
 to all business letters of any nature. With the funda- 
 mentals clearly in mind, the application of specific prin- 
 ciples will be more easily understood. 
 
 A business letter should be regarded as substantially 
 a business conversation reduced to writing. It should, 
 of course, be more concise and logical than the ordinary 
 conversation, but the idea to be emphasized is that the 
 ordinary principles underlying and regulating an inter- 
 view between business men should be regarded as appli- 
 cable to their written conversations — their letters. 
 
 This chapter is primarily devoted to a consideration 
 of the principles applicable to sales letters; yet, in a 
 general way, most of the principles will be found, as 
 we progress, to be applicable to every kind of business 
 correspondence. Some of the other kinds of business 
 letters are discussed in later chapters. 
 
 Selling goods by letter is based on the same funda- 
 mental methods which govern sales by any other means. 
 The principles which regulate a salesman in approach- 
 ing his customer, in presenting his proposition, in seek- 
 ing to close the sale, should be the principles by which 
 the writer of sales letters constructs his written efforts. 
 There are, first, general principles without a knowledge 
 of which no one can be successful in selling, and to 
 these a preliminary^ consideration must be given. 
 
 Those we shall discuss here are: (1) the need of a 
 thorough familiarity with one's subject; (2) the neces- 
 sity of obtaining as intimate a knowledge as it is possi- 
 ble to acquire of the characteristics, the idiosyncrasies, 
 and the disposition of the person to be addressed; (3) 
 the formulation of a thoroughly well-defined plan of
 
 ATMOSPHRRE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 11 
 
 approach before attempting to frame the sales letter 
 itself. We shall consider each in turn. 
 
 1. KNOWLEDGE OF THE GOODS 
 
 No salesman worthy of the name — and of the occu- 
 pation — would attempt to sell goods to a dealer without 
 first learning all there is to know about the goods he 
 wished to sell. He would never consider it enough to 
 know merely the price and quantity discounts. He 
 would know very well that unless he was thoroughly 
 informed regarding the smallest details, such as how 
 his line compared with competing lines, its applicability 
 to various uses and the different classes of prospects, 
 what constituted its leading advantages — why, in other 
 words, his line should be preferred to his competitor's 
 — he would not get very far with a critical or unrespon- 
 sive prospect. The competent salesman Imows his goods 
 backward and forward — the details entering into their 
 manufacture, the features that recommend them, in 
 what respects they differ from or are better than every 
 other competing line, and so on to the end of the chap- 
 ter. The principal motive which impels him to acquire 
 a thorough familiarity with each detail is that he may 
 be able to interest his prospective buyers — and to do 
 that he must have a choice of "talking points." One 
 buyer's interest is to be caught by this feature, another's 
 by that feature. And the successful salesman is he who 
 has so complete a knowledge of his subject as to be able 
 to interest anyone when talking about it. The average 
 salesman knows so intuitively that success depends 
 largely on this factor, that he needs little argument or 
 emphasis on the fact. 
 
 Compare this with the apparent attitude of mind
 
 12 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 shown by thousands of sales-letter writers. With what 
 wearying sameness of iteration and reiteration does one' 
 encounter letters reading after this fashion : 
 
 Your esteemed favor of the 27th at hand. In 
 reply we take pleasure in quoting you prices on 
 as follows . 
 
 Hoping to receive your valued order, we 
 are, etc. 
 
 If a salesman talked this way, would he get very far 
 in effecting sales? The remarkable thing about it all 
 is that the very man who dictates such letters will in 
 very many instances talk to customers with a true sales- 
 man's instinct. He instinctively injects his own person- 
 ality into the interview ; he leads here and there until he 
 has found the "point of contact" with the customer; 
 his sales talk is forceful, interesting, and effective. Why 
 should the written sales talk be wooden and ineffective, 
 when the writer of it is capable of effective and com- 
 pelling conversation ? 
 
 There should be no difference in principle between the 
 two cases. That is the point of this discussion. The 
 atmosphere of a letter should be as expressive of the per- 
 sonality^ of the writer as his conversation itself can be 
 made to be. Imagination is, if anything, more vital in 
 a business letter than it is in conversation. Nevertheless, 
 it must be imagination that is balanced always by facts. 
 And facts cannot be given convincingly unless the writer 
 knows them himself — unless, in addition to the superfi- 
 cialities, he knows the processes of manufacture, or the 
 principles underlying the use, of the goods he has to sell. 
 
 Furthermore, the writer of a letter must have a con- 
 vincing enthusiasm for his subject which is capable of 
 being conveyed to his correspondent through his letter.
 
 ATMOSPHERE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 13 
 
 It is clear that if the writer lacks a thorough knowledge 
 of the details of his goods, any attempt at enthusiastic 
 description or recommendation will be more or less 
 spurious — somewhere it will sound a false note. Hence, 
 to the degree in which it lacks honesty and genuineness 
 based on knowledge, to that degree will it be uncon- 
 vincing. No matter whether a man is seeking to sell 
 spiritual salvation or mouse-traps, he must first "sell" 
 himself and his product to himself — he must be enthusi- 
 astically convinced of the merit of his proposition. He 
 must believe in it, and know why he believes. 
 
 This leads us to one of the most important considera- 
 tions of all, i. e., the importance of truth and frankness. 
 
 Aside from all questions of morality, a letter that is 
 palpably frank and honest in its statements impresses 
 the reader as no other kind of letter can. Scrupulous 
 honesty in describing goods offered in a sales letter and 
 entire frankness in replying to a prospective customer's 
 inquiry are qualities in the atmosphere of sales letters 
 which go a long way toward inspiring confidence and 
 carrying conviction. Untruths, half-truths, evasions, 
 concealment, lack of frankness, are all in the same class, 
 as being both immoral and extremely poor policy. 
 
 As a corrollary to this, it is to be borne in mind that 
 generalizations should scrupulously be avoided. By this 
 is meant that to describe an article as "the best on the 
 market," "the most desirable and efficient ever offered," 
 "the only thing of its kind," etc., not only probably 
 states an untruth, but also fails to carry conviction, or 
 even to accomplish anything in the way of persuasion. 
 No one is impressed by extravagant claims; and asser- 
 tions which are simply general in nature — not thor- 
 oughly specific in adding something to a definite line of 
 argument or of thought — are mere vapid talk. To one
 
 14 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 reading such phrases they suggest a lack of knowledge 
 on the part of the writer, or, worse, a desire to evade 
 the responsibility involved in being specific. 
 
 Finally — and this is perhaps the most important detail 
 of all in the atmosphere of a letter — remember that the 
 subject in w^hich the man you are writing to is most 
 interested is liimself and liis own interests. Therefore, 
 don't talk about yourself, with a tiresome ringing of 
 the changes on what you think, what you have to offer, 
 what you hope or desire, but show your corre- 
 spondent that you have his interests, 7m needs, 7m 
 wishes in mind. In other words, suppress, as far as 
 possible, all references to "I," ''we," and inject into 
 your letter all the "you" element possible. The effect 
 of this on the reader is as great as any single feature 
 involved in letter-w^riting. We shall return to this sub- 
 ject later on. 
 
 Our discussion has now brought us to these 
 conclusions : 
 
 1. Letters must reflect the individuality, the personal 
 characteristics of the writer, in the same manner as if 
 he were carrying on a sales talk with his customer. 
 
 2. The writer of a letter must know his subject thor- 
 oughly, both in order that he may present it convinc- 
 ingly to his correspondent, and that his enthusiasm 
 may be contagious and not open to the suspicion that it 
 is assumed for the occasion. 
 
 3. The w^hole truth and entire frankness constitute 
 beyond all question the wisest business policy, and tend 
 to make even weak letters effective when better written 
 letters, whose frankness is open to suspicion, may fail 
 of the desired effect. 
 
 4. Generalizations are always to be avoided. They 
 are either a confession of lack of familiarity with your
 
 ATMOSPHERE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 15 
 
 goods or they are insulting to the intelligence of your 
 customer. He wants specific facts. 
 
 5. The "1" or "we" element is to be kept in the 
 background, and the "you" element (the customer's 
 interest) is to be given prominence. He is but very 
 slightly interested in what you think; but it is up to 
 you to show him that you are interested in what Jie 
 needs. 
 
 2. KNOWLEDGE OF THE PROSPECT 
 
 Underlying ail successful sales plans, whether these 
 are to be effected by word of mouth or by sales letters, 
 lies the ps.ychological element of the customer's per- 
 sonality. The salesman tries to find some point of per- 
 sonal contact with his customer before approaching him. 
 The writer of a letter must do the same. He must not 
 only understand his customer's nature, his needs, his 
 business, his point of view, but must be able to show 
 that he does. This personal element tends to win the 
 confidence of the reader where indifference existed be- 
 fore. The lack of it leaves your letter a cold, matter- 
 of-fact, colorless affair, little better in its effect than the 
 typewritten or printed circular. 
 
 If this is true, it follows, as was said in the preceding 
 section on '^ Atmosphere/' that instead of talking of 
 himself, the writer must talk of the customer to the 
 customer by discussing the latter 's needs or by enlarging 
 on the advantages which are offered to him. This can 
 not, of course be done effectively without some knowledge 
 of the customer, whether it be personal, or that gained 
 from mercantile or trade reports, or from psychological 
 inference. A letter showing a sympathetic familiarity 
 with the customer's line of trade and making clear to 
 him the suitability of the goods offered to his particular
 
 16 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 situation, will unconsciously create in the customer a 
 recognition of the truth of what is said and an attitude 
 of receptiveness, such as could not be produced by a 
 dozen offers that have nothing of the personal element 
 in them. 
 
 In a large business with a large list of customers, 
 such a knowledge of each individual customer must ne- 
 cessarily be more limited than if one were addressing a 
 dozen or twenty of one's acquaintances. The principle 
 is a true one, however, and applies to all classes of cases, 
 namely, that every sales letter should endeavor to strike 
 a personal note that will ring true to the individual to 
 whom it is addressed. In a general way, this can often 
 be accomplished although one possesses no personal infor- 
 mation regarding the prospect. The extent of his busi- 
 ness can be sized up from mercantile reports; the fact 
 that he is, say, a watchmaker and jeweler, whose class 
 of trade is fairly well defined, will, of itself, suggest a 
 different tone of letter from that to be addressed to a 
 druggist, whose trade comes from a wider class. Or, 
 if the appeal is to be made to private individuals, the 
 classification of the mailing list in advance into lawyers, 
 doctors, preachers, business men, housewives, etc., will 
 suggest a letter varying in the tone and nature of its 
 personal elements for each class. This adaptation of 
 the appeal to the individual, whether it is accomplished 
 by a full or by a limited knowledge of the person 
 addressed, is a powerful factor in enabling you to ''get 
 under his skin," where the impersonal letter falls on 
 an iTnresponsive mind and fails to awaken interest, 
 because there is no personal point of contact. As has 
 been wisely said, ''It is often easier to get a man to do 
 what he wants to do, than what he ought to do." The 
 applicabilit}" of this statement to the letter appealing
 
 ATMOSPHERE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 17 
 
 You have seen healthy men- -among them 
 your own friends- -unexpectedly take sick and die 
 within a few days, haven't you? 
 
 Have you ever thought that your turn may 
 come- -suddenly? 
 
 Suppose it did--have you (with the present 
 purchasing value of a dollar at about fifty centsj 
 sufficient Life Insurance to protect your wife 
 and babies as you would wish them protected? 
 
 If not, then let us show you our new policy. 
 It protects your loved ones in case of your death. 
 It provides for a monthly pension for yourself 
 after the age of 50, if you should ever need it. 
 And it costs less than many companies charge for 
 ordinary insurance. 
 
 It's a special contract, offered only to 
 preferred risks. If you aren't convinced of what 
 it will do for you, when you know all about the 
 plan, you can drop the matter. 
 
 The enclosed card will bring full par- 
 ticulars. 
 
 Fill it out and mail it today- -there's 
 no obligation. 
 
 Example of a letter embodying the principle of establishing 
 the "point of contact" with the prospect. Note that it opens 
 with a reference to the prospect himself and his family. The 
 attempt to sell is made after first interesting- the readei in some- 
 thing he is assumed to desire.
 
 18 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 to a man's self-interest involves a philosophy that is 
 worth embodying in one's practice. 
 
 And when j^'ou have, by one means or another, obtained 
 the information you need about the personality of your 
 prospect, how shall you make use of it? By the exer- 
 cise of your imagination, in such a way as will appeal 
 somehow to his self-interest. 
 
 If you have reason to believe that the prospect is 
 much like yourself — ^has the same tastes, interests, preju- 
 dices, and difficulties, — your task is easy. You have only 
 to ask yourself. What would attract 7ne to these goods? 
 or. What could a salesman say that would get a hearing 
 from mef And what would make me decide to take 
 them now? The answer to these questions — which you 
 yourself can furnish from your own consciousness — is 
 the answer to the problem. 
 
 If the prospect is knowTi to belong to a class having 
 entirely different tastes^ interests, prejudices, and prob- 
 lems from your ovm, your problem is more difficult, 
 but still can be solved by the aid of the imagination. 
 Try to imagine how you would feel if you were in your 
 prospect's class, with his experience or outlook on life, 
 and with his interests ; and, if possible, assist your imagi- 
 nation by talking with typical persons of his class. Get 
 yourself into his point of view, in other words, and do 
 it by your imagination assisted by what actual experi- 
 ence you can gain. In this respect, it is always greatly 
 to the advantage of the salesman and to the business 
 letter-writer to cultivate a wide and accurate knowledge 
 of men and women of all the classes of society with 
 which he is ever likely to have business dealings. 
 
 Without these two qualities, imagination and experi- 
 ence, you cannot successfully \azualize your prospect. 
 And without more or less vizualization of this sort, your
 
 ATMOSPHERE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 19 
 
 The Santa Fe men who report to you each week 
 for watch inspection are men who know the value of 
 keeping true time by an alarm clock. 
 
 Sixty-five thousand of these men are going 
 to read Big Ben's advertisement in the Santa Fe 
 Employee's Ma g azine , proof enclosed. They will 
 want to see him, want to own him. Make your store 
 division headquarters for Big Ben. His broad-gauge 
 guarantee of satisfaction and price maintenance 
 gives you a clear track on the profit right-of-way. 
 
 Show a railroader Big Ben's splendid con- 
 struction; have him operate the alarm throttle; tell 
 him that Big Ben will run his home on schedule time, 
 and as a call boy, will not fail to get him out on 
 time for his run. Tell him to bring Big Ben to your 
 roundhouse once in two years for oiling and over- 
 hauling. 
 
 Investment in Big Ben stock pays handsome 
 dividends and there is no danger of price fluctua- 
 tions. There's a profit of for you on every 
 
 Big Ben you sell. 
 
 In lots of 12 to 24 Big Ben gets free trans- 
 portation to you. Advertising material is included 
 with an order for one dozen or more. 
 
 Big Ben traffic will be heavy this fall, and 
 if you want your share of the business, you should 
 place your order now. 
 
 Example of the use of the language of a particular class — 
 railroad men — pushed to the limit. This letter was remarkably 
 successful, and appealed to the spirit of those addressed. It 
 discusses the subject from the standpoint of the reader, and is 
 full of the "atmosphere" to which the reader, not the writer, is 
 accustomed.
 
 20 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 letters cannot have the personal touch which will make 
 them alive and appealing. 
 
 3. A Vi^ELL-CONSIDERED PLAN 
 
 A letter that seeks to effect a sale, to collect a debt, 
 to convey a proposition, is foredoomed to failure, unless 
 it be framed on a plan elaborated and thought out in 
 advance. Such phrases as: "We have no doubt that 
 we can arrange the terms," "We shall be obliged to take 
 further steps unless we receive a remittance," "Let us 
 get together on this proposition, some time," evince a 
 lack of plan in the mind of the writer, an indecision, 
 which communicates itself to the reader — and the point 
 of contact is lost, or rather is never established. 
 
 In the preceding section the need of avoiding general- 
 izations was emphasized. What was said there in regard 
 to the atmosphere of a letter applies with equal force to 
 the plan of the letter. If it does not begin, continue, and 
 end with a logically developing and definitely conceived 
 description and offer, together with the requisite selling 
 argument, or with a proposition definite and easy to 
 understand, it violates the rule against "generalizing," 
 and falls far short of the practical and effective. 
 
 A letter, again, may attractively describe the goods 
 offered and yet may fail of its purpose, because it stops 
 short of suggesting just how the goods should appeal to 
 the reader — that is, it may lack persuasion, the personal 
 application. Or it may utterly fail to present any 
 special inducement, which may lie in the price, in the 
 terms of payment, in the discounts, in the premium 
 accompanying the offer, or in something else of advan- 
 tage to the customer. 
 
 Or again, a letter may contain all these elements and
 
 ATMOSPHERE OF BUSINESS LETTERS 21 
 
 may still be ineffective for want of the final "clinching 
 argument," such as that the offer is good for a limited 
 time only, or that it is limited to a certain number, to 
 be sold "while they last," or that the price is shortly 
 to be advanced, or, finally, such as the "Do it now!" 
 suggestion. 
 
 Each of these elements will be discussed in detail later. 
 It is sufficient for the present to lay down the principle 
 that the plan of a letter must definitely embrace: 
 
 1. A clear proposal, so well defined and so easy of 
 understanding that, in connection with a description of 
 the goods offered, etc., the reader will feel no doubt 
 whatever regarding its applicability to himself. This 
 is to awaken interest. 
 
 2. The personal element — the persuasiveness which 
 shows the reader why lie should be interested in your 
 offer, i. e., the advantage of your offer to him personally. 
 This is to awaken desire. 
 
 3. Some "inducement" which will serve to increase 
 desire and to develop it into decision through the advan- 
 tage shown to lie in taking quick action. This is to 
 induce decision. 
 
 4. The "clincher," the telling of the customer what 
 to do so that he will take the final step, sign the order, 
 remit the money, or act today. This is the "Do it now !" 
 suggestion.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 THE FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 
 
 The writer who has never given much thought to the 
 subject of making his sales letters effective seems usu- 
 ally to entertain a vague impression that imagination 
 is out of place, that stereotyped phraseology is an evi- 
 dence of business habits, and that his letters should be 
 built on established lines. Woefully wrong as are the 
 first two assumptions, the third is justified in the sense 
 that every letter should embody certain definite elements, 
 which together make up its framework. 
 
 We have already seen (pp. 12, 18) how greatly imag- 
 ination is needed in a business letter, and how ineffec- 
 tive is the ordinary, stereotyped business phraseology. 
 But see also on this subject the list of "Futile Phrases" 
 given at the end of Chapter III. 
 
 We have now come to the point of considering how the 
 idea of independence of thought and of language in 
 a business letter is to be reconciled with the statement 
 made above that letters should be built on definite lines, 
 and how personality is to be injected into such letters, 
 as it may be into conversation. 
 
 There is a real distinction between following definite 
 lines in the construction of a letter, and using estab- 
 lished and timeworn phrases to hang on its framework. 
 Old and seasoned planks may be, and often are, used to 
 sheathe a roof; but weatherworn shingles are not put 
 
 22
 
 FRAMEWORK OP THE SALES LETTER 23 
 
 on to form the roof. So with timeworn phrases. But 
 the planks which go to form the framework of effective 
 letters nnist be of at least four kinds. The more skil- 
 fully these are made to dovetail, the one with the other, 
 the better, of course. They may be enumerated as 
 follows : 
 
 1. An opening that attracts attention. 
 
 2. A description that develops interest. 
 
 3. Argument and persuasion so well blended as to 
 lead the reader to a decision. 
 
 4. "Clinching" that decision with one of the many 
 reasons for urging immediate action — the "Do it now ! ' * 
 closing paragraph. 
 
 We shall now consider these in their order: 
 
 1. THE OPENING 
 
 It will, of course, be understood that there are two 
 kinds of sales letters, (1) those that are written in reply 
 to a previous inquiry originating with the customer, 
 and (2) those sent out as original proposals, with no 
 previous correspondence behind them. 
 
 (a) Bcplies to Previous Letters of Inquiry. — In let- 
 ters of this class it is, of course, necessary to refer at 
 the beginning to the inquiry that is being replied to. 
 On the other hand, such a reference, if made as the 
 opening sentence, may interfere seriously with the 
 attempt to make a striking or attention-creating 
 opening. One way of avoiding this is to place the neces- 
 sary reference to earlier correspondence outside of the 
 body of the letter itself, so that, like the date line, it 
 is a part of the letter but not in it. There are two com- 
 mon practices by which this may be achieved: (1) by 
 placing it to the right of the sheet, under the date line.
 
 24 DETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 and in a line with the address; or (2) by writing it 
 in the center of the sheet in line with the salutation. 
 The choice between these methods will usually be deter- 
 mined by the question whether the letter, although 
 written to a firm or corporation, is to be addressed to 
 the attention of some particular individual. In this case, 
 suggestion No. 1 may be followed : 
 
 No. 1. 
 
 Chicago, 111., December 9, 1920 
 
 The Holtzer-Cabot Electric Co. 
 
 6161 South State St. Reference: Your letter 
 
 Chicago, 111. ERH/FL Dec. 3, 1920 
 
 Gentlemen: Attention of Mr. E. R. Harding 
 
 Most business letters now-a-days bear the initials of 
 the person who has dictated the letter, as well as those 
 of the stenographer, thus: JAP/RF. It is a simple 
 matter to use these, along with the date of the letter 
 itself, as a means of identification, when making refer- 
 ence to it. This has been done in No. 1 above. 
 
 Or, if it is not desired to address the letter to the 
 attention of any particular individual, the following 
 form, which also makes use of the initials of the writer 
 and the stenographer, may be followed : 
 
 No. 2 
 
 Chicago, 111., December 2, 1920 
 
 The Holtzer-Cabot Electric Co. 
 6161 South State St. 
 Chicago, 111, 
 
 Gentlemen: Reference ERH/FL Dec. 3, 1920 
 
 Some such practice as this serves to put No. 2 just
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 25 
 
 mentioned on a par with No. 1 shown above, and thus 
 either form clears the way for the actual opening of the 
 letter itself, unencumbered with references to previous 
 correspondence that may serve to distract the attention 
 from an otherwise forceful beginning. With either of 
 these forms the writer is free to frame his opening as 
 he may desire, unencumbered with formalities that are 
 nevertheless needed in order to connect what is about 
 to be said with the letter to which it refers. 
 
 It may be said, in passing, that whenever possible, 
 it is wise to head a letter with the line shown in No. 1 
 above. It serves to give a personal touch that usually 
 predisposes the individual who receives the letter to a 
 little warmer interest, because of the personal element 
 involved in such an introductory line. 
 
 No matter which form is adopted, however, the writer, 
 by means of either one, is in a position to make a strong 
 start, freed from all encumbrance of introductory for- 
 malities. And right here he must be on his guard against 
 the conventional opening phrases that destroy all hope 
 of attracting interest and attention: "We beg to call 
 
 your attention to," "In reply to yours of , we beg 
 
 to state," etc. Some of the worst of conventional 
 phrases of this sort are listed at the end of this chapter, 
 and should be carefully studied in this connection. (See 
 the section entitled "Futile Phrases.") 
 
 It is, of course, perfectly feasible to avoid the use of 
 either of the foregoing forms. A letter may well make 
 reference to former correspondence by its opening sen- 
 tence being framed as follows: 
 
 The wireless receivers that you inquired 
 about in your letter of December 3 are of the same 
 resistance as those in use by the Signal Corps of 
 the U. S. Army.
 
 26 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 By this means you connect your reader with his pre- 
 vious letter to you, and plunge at once into your subject, 
 making use of some such sentence as that employed above 
 to gain his interest at the start. How to grip the inter- 
 est must be decided by a study of the correspondent's 
 letter, from which can be deduced what it is that he 
 most wishes to know, A suitable and appropriate open- 
 ing sentence will at least insure an interested reading of 
 what follows. 
 
 Remember at the very outset that, in writing to your 
 prospect, you are talking to him on a business propo- 
 sition. He is probably so accustomed to the tame and 
 fossilized opening that one differing from the ordinary 
 will, of itself, serve to arrest his attention, in the same 
 manner as will the appearance of a strange and unusual 
 hat on the head of a stranger on a fashionable street. 
 Beware, however, lest in your attempt at originality, 
 your opening be bizarre or flippant, which may, it is 
 true, arrest the attention, but may be followed by re- 
 sentment or indignation at the undue familiarity implied 
 by your tone. 
 
 There are as many ways of beginning a letter as there 
 are of beginning a conversation, but, as the wise sales- 
 man tries to arouse his customer's interest before talk- 
 ing business, so must the writer of a letter, though in 
 briefer manner. On p. 15 we discussed the importance 
 of the ''you" element in letters, and it is discussed at 
 greater length below. Here, however, is where the ap- 
 plication of the principle begins. This means that your 
 customer's needs or tastes or desires are the subjects 
 that will interest him and win his attention, not your 
 wishes or hopes, or the condition of your business. 
 
 Compare the opening sentences of the following and 
 note the difference between the two:
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 27 
 
 No. 1. 
 
 In pursuance of your request of December 3, 
 we beg to enclose herewith our illustrated folder, 
 showing the Equipoise Telephone Arm in a variety 
 of forms. If you will look it over and let us know 
 which one interests you, we shall take pleasure 
 in filling your order for whatever style you 
 may desire. 
 
 We are selling the Arm in large numbers 
 just now, and we are confident that it will prove 
 highly satisfactory to you. 
 
 Hoping to receive your valued order, 
 we are, etc. 
 
 No. 2. 
 
 It is evident from your inquiry about 
 the Equipoise Telephone Arm that you are one of 
 those who have suffered from the annoyance of the 
 desk phone. Like so many other victims, you have 
 probably been exasperated by the twisted cord 
 dragging through your papers, and upsetting your 
 ink-well. And the phone itself got in your way, 
 didn't it, and was always being knocked over by 
 your elbow? 
 
 Well, here is a device that offers you sure 
 relief. It holds the phone away from the desk 
 until you want it; when a touch of the finger 
 brings it into position. 
 
 Look over the illustrated circular now 
 sent you. It shows a variety of ways in which the 
 Arm can be attached to your desk, and be kept out 
 of your way. Tell us what sort of desk you have and 
 we will do the rest for you- -and as you will note, 
 at an absurdly low price. Your troubles are over 
 when the Arm arrives by parcel post, ready for use. 
 
 No. 1 is of the perfunctory sort, and if it results in a 
 sale, it does .so simply because the customer intended to 
 buy, anyhow. Yet it is a form of letter that is written 
 every day by the thousands. No. 2, on the other hand,
 
 28 DETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 strikes a sympathetic chord in the reader's mind at the 
 very outset, and tends to interest him more and more, as 
 he reads on. 
 
 Note, too, a highly important difference between the 
 two letters. In No. 1 " we " and " us " are the dominant 
 pronouns ; the writer is thrusting Jiis point of view and 
 his experience upon the prospect. In No. 2 the "you" 
 (the prospective customer) predominates; it is the 
 reader's experience that is depicted, the reader's relief 
 that is suggested. In other words, the reader is told 
 something that he wanted to know, and is not wearied 
 and annoyed by being told in generalities what the 
 writer thinks and what a good business he is doing. 
 
 Herein lies a principle of the highest importance : the 
 necessity of giving prominence to tlie ''you/' and of 
 keeping the ''we" in the hackgroiind. Bearing in mind 
 what was said above, namely, that it is the customer's 
 needs and not your wishes and your business that inter- 
 est him, the "you" element is necessary to arrest his 
 attention and to awaken and retain his interest. The 
 ordinarj^ letter ignores this principle. Its opening 
 sentence almost invariably contains a "we," and the 
 "we" aspect is played up throughout. Is it reasonable 
 to expect the reader to be interested in that ? And since 
 he certainly is not, is it reasonable to expect such a letter 
 to do anything towards winning him over ? On the con- 
 trary, it kills his interest from the start, although, as 
 a matter of fact, his interest is the one thing you want 
 to awaken. 
 
 This, then, is the practical way of making your open- 
 ing attract attention: to remember that your prospect 
 is interested in himself, in his own affairs, in his own 
 needs, in his own advantage. 
 
 If this principle is kept in mind, it will, of course,
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 20 
 
 be out of the question that the letter should begin with 
 any of the stereotyped phrases which too often char- 
 acterize ordinary business letters. Obviously, if the 
 letter is to open with the "you" spirit uppermost, it 
 cannot begin with phrases such as: "In reply to yours 
 of the 9th, we beg to advise that," etc. It is just as 
 easy — and far more effective — to convert the customary 
 dead pln*ase into a living, personal one, and yet to 
 accomplish the necessary reference to previous corre- 
 spondence, by saying, for example : ' ' The type of motor 
 that you are interested in, and about which you inquire 
 in your letter of the 7th, is," etc. Here is no wasted 
 formality, and the reader is led at once to what interests 
 him without the deadening effect of getting through 
 preliminary phraseology that tells him nothing. 
 
 (&) Original Sales Letters. — It is, of course, easier 
 to make the opening of reply letters interesting by 
 this means than it is to devise interesting openings for 
 sales letters which address the prospect without his hav- 
 ing first written a letter of inquiry. 
 
 Aside from the dignified, quiet, unemotional form of 
 opening such as is illustrated on p. 27, there are three 
 kinds of opening letters which have the hall-mark of 
 success. One of these is the interrogative opening — 
 asking the reader a direct question wnth the first words. 
 Another is the declarative, telling him some fact without 
 any preliminary. The third is the "human interest" 
 opening. 
 
 1. llie Interrogative Opening. — This form is illus- 
 ti'atcd on p. 67, Avhere the letter begins with the question : 
 "Have you a dollar bill in your pockctbook * * * 
 that you're not particularly fond of?" This method 
 carries with it a suggestion of familiarity, which is not 
 always in good taste or appreciated by the reader. It
 
 30 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 is easy to offend by being too personal — particularly 
 when one is addressing a prospect with whom one is not 
 acquainted. Yet this method of arresting attention can 
 be made highly effective if care is taken to strike just 
 the right note or tone. Let us here turn back to the two 
 openings shown on p. 27. Suppose we convert No. 2 
 into an interrogative opening. It might then read after 
 this fashion : ' ' Have YOU suffered from the annoyance 
 of having your desk phone cord disturb your papers and 
 upset the inkwell?" or, "Haven't you suffered long 
 enough from the annoyance of having your desk phone, ' ' 
 etc., or yet again: "If you were offered a device that 
 would rid you of the desk phone nuisance, wouldn't you 
 welcome if?" None of these is impertinent, breezy, or 
 familiar in tone, although an.y one of them is calculated 
 to arouse interest in the mind of the properly selected 
 prospect. The point, then, is that the interrogative 
 form of opening can be utilized to good effect if its 
 tone is regulated to suit the class to which the sales letter 
 is to be sent. 
 
 This sort of opening is always more effective when 
 made to form a paragraph by itself. 
 
 2. The Declarative Opening. — In order to arrest the 
 attention this should, of course, be forceful and positive 
 in making some brief statement of fact, and the state- 
 ment must be so chosen as to strike a responsive chord 
 in the reader's mind. It, too, needs to be adapted to 
 the class of reader to whom it is addressed. The open- 
 ing of No. 2 on p. 27, referred to in the preceding para- 
 graph, is unemotional and dignified. It is not, how- 
 ever, of the sort commonly meant by the term "declara- 
 tive," although it is actually so, grammatically speak- 
 ing. A more forceful statement is usually understood 
 to be meant, such, for example, as : " Here at last is an
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 31 
 
 I was sent to France on the transport 
 
 in 1917. 
 
 Each night, while crossing the Atlantic, 
 all lights were extinguished, or obscured by 
 covered windows, through fear that they might 
 attract a torpedo attack. And so, perforce, we 
 often had to grope around in darkness and 
 discomfort. 
 
 What would we not have given at that time 
 had we been able to make use of an electric torch 
 to save our shins in the gloom, and to help us find 
 our way to cabin doors! 
 
 While that particular experience is happily 
 past and done with, each of us finds ourselves at 
 one time or another with just as urgent a desire for 
 a flashlight guide as some of us did in 1917 on 
 our way to France. We go into the back yard or to 
 the basement; the car breaks down in the dark 
 country road; a sudden call in the night necessi- 
 tates light, but to turn on the light would awaken 
 others. How futile it is at that moment to wish 
 that we had had the forethought to get one! 
 
 The electric torch meets each such 
 
 a need. It is light and portable, easily carried in 
 the pocket, or laid under the pillow, 
 (and so on) 
 
 Example of a letter whose opening paragraph utilizes some 
 current event to interest the reader and which connects the 
 opening subject with the real sales subject of the letter.
 
 32 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 end of the desk phone nuisance!" or, "You need relief 
 from the desk phone nuisance — and here it is!" It may 
 be felt that these examples just given border rather 
 dangerously on the "breezy" style condemned in the 
 preceding paragraph. Certainly an opening sentence 
 of this style must be worded with a full understanding 
 in advance of the mental attitude of the class of pros- 
 pects to be addressed. Such phrases as those given are 
 eft'ective when addressed to a certain type of reader; 
 they are offensive to the reader of another type, who is 
 jast as valuable, if you can secure his custom. 
 
 A "declarative" opening of this sort may be made to 
 appeal strongly to the reader's desire for economy or 
 money-saving. A letter intended to sell labor-saving 
 devices, as, for example, a washing machine or a vacuum 
 cleaner ; or a money-saver, as, for example, an improved 
 carburetor or a new form of electric light globe, etc., 
 might well open with the declarative statement: "You 
 
 have paid for a many times over — but you 
 
 have never had it delivered." An explanation would 
 follow, of course, showing how money spent in the past 
 on costly time and labor would have paid for the eco- 
 nomical device many times over. 
 
 This style of opening, too, is more effective as an inter- 
 est awakener when written alone as the opening para- 
 graph. 
 
 3. The "Human Interest" Opening. — As the term 
 implies, this sort of opening is calculated to awaken 
 interest at the same time that it attracts attention. 
 Indeed, it frequently is carried over to the entire letter, 
 and colors it throughout. There are so many keys and 
 tones of human interest that its use can be illustrated in 
 a general way only. Illustrations will at least serve to 
 show how the circumstances of any proposed sale may
 
 FRAMEWORK OP THE SALES LETTER 33 
 
 That morning cup of coffee! You are not 
 "much good" until you get it, are you? You look 
 forward to it on rising; and the delicious aroma 
 that reaches you while it is being prepared serves 
 only to intensify your pleasurable anticipations. 
 And when you sit down expectantly to sip the steaming 
 cup, you feel you will soon "be yourself." 
 
 What a disappointment it is, then, to have 
 to swallow a dull and uninvigorating fluid that 
 belies its aroma, and produces none of the inspirit- 
 ing and delightful effects that you looked forward 
 to! 
 
 The trouble lies in the brand. Unwisely 
 chosen, your coffee is good only by chance, by good 
 luck. Too often, luck is against you, and it's poor! 
 
 Still, that's easily remedied. "The b rand's 
 the thing!" Get the right brand, and you are sure 
 of a real cup of coffee 365 mornings in the year, 
 (and so on) 
 
 A sample opening for a letter containing a human-interest 
 appeal to the appetites, which, when addressed to the right class 
 of individuals, is calculated to awaken interest in what the 
 letter has to offer.
 
 34 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 be taken advantage of by a thoughtful letter writer to 
 turn the reader's interest in a general subject of news, 
 or the like, into a channel which will lead him to the 
 subject the writer has at heart. 
 
 Briefly, this method involves an appeal to the preju- 
 dices, the passions, the affections, the vanities, the 
 emotions, the interests, entertained by the different 
 groups which make up a community of society in gen- 
 eral. For instance, an appeal to the appetites is illus- 
 trated in the letter on p. 33. Written to the "lady of 
 the house," this sort of letter tends to awaken and 
 hold her interest through the appeal to her desires. 
 
 Again, "human interest" is successfully invoked by 
 reference to a well-known or important occurrence which 
 has no direct connection with the product offered, but 
 is skilfully adapted in its application to it. Note the 
 illustration in which reference is made to crossing the 
 Atlantic during the period when the torpedoing of 
 vessels by the enemy was at its height, or the one in 
 which the "old gentleman" of the Patent Office (see p. 
 36) is made to serve as the opening subject. 
 
 Or, once again, the appeal may be to the common 
 human instincts, for example, that of fear. Note the 
 illustration of this in the letter suggesting possible 
 blindness, and the means by which it may be prevented. 
 
 This sort of human interest tone may characterize 
 the beginning of the letter alone, or it may color the 
 letter as a whole. It may be made to serve as a means 
 of getting attention only, or it may be carried on into the 
 body of the letter as a further means of exciting interest 
 and of stimulating desire. We shall come to these latter 
 elements later on, but it is worth while to note that the 
 *' human interest" element is capable of as many shades 
 of flexibility and of adaptability as there are emotions to
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 35 
 
 How about your eyes? 
 
 Do you suffer from stinging pains, from 
 fiery balls crossing your line of vision, from 
 dull globes that obstruct the sight? 
 
 If you do, only glasses will save you from 
 ultimate blindness. 
 
 (and so on) 
 
 Type of opening" appealing to the emotions (of fear, of self- 
 interest, etc.) of the reader, as a basis for the sales argument to 
 follow in the body of the letter.
 
 36 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 The old gentleman who resigned from the 
 Patent Office in 1886 because, as he said, every- 
 thing had been invented, had nothing on the most 
 of us. 
 
 There are times when we all begin to feel 
 that mechanical equipment is about as perfect as 
 man can make it. 
 
 Take lubrication, for instance. In spite 
 of the thousands of dollars wasted in furnishing six 
 ounces of oil to a bearing that needs only one, 
 production men are satisfied--until, of course, 
 someone comes along and shows them where 500 per 
 cent can be saved. 
 
 Making production men dissatisfied with their 
 lubrication equipment is our business. Here is a new 
 kind of Bolshevism that pays all around, 
 (and so on) 
 
 Illustration of a "narrative"' or "human interest" opening, 
 which succeeds in awakening the interest, prior to the explana- 
 tion and description, which, of course, follow the part of the 
 letter shown above.
 
 FRAMEWORK OP THE SALES LETTKll 37 
 
 tippeal to, or illustrative circumstances to refer to. It is 
 as effective with the serious business man as with the 
 society debutante or the clerk — provided always the 
 nature of the "human interest" tone, and the subject 
 chosen, are adapted to tlic prospect. 
 
 But no matter what style of opening you may think 
 appropriate for a given case, it should never be for- 
 gotten that your prospect is not paid to read your 
 letter, and will do so only if it interests him. If you 
 know the buying motives to which you ought to appeal 
 in a given elass of prospects, and^ if you know your 
 subject thoroughly, you do not need to be startling or 
 dramatic in your opening, just for the fun of being 
 original. Your style of opening has got to suit the 
 style of prospect. But in any case you do need to be 
 interesting — your opening must catch the attention. 
 ^Vhat will interest your reader must be the criterion 
 by which you will decide how to begin. 
 
 2. THE DESCRIPTION 
 
 Here, again, the "you" element must be played up. 
 It is not enough to give your prospect a full, even a 
 minute, description of the article you wish to sell him. 
 In the abstract, the Telephone Arm may be a perfect 
 device, mechanically ; it may be made so strong that it 
 cannot be broken or worn out ; it may be so attractive 
 in appearance as to be really an ornamental addition to 
 the desk; its manufacture may be covered by patents; 
 it may even be the only device of its kind on the market. 
 But to all but a few these are merely abstract facts that 
 have little or no personal application, and, as we have 
 seen, it is the point of contact with the needs or the 
 advantage of the prospect that must be sought for. If 
 
 47114
 
 38 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 it is possible to show him how an Arm will relieve him 
 from his previous annoyances, change his exasperation 
 into satisfaction, make routine easier and desk work less 
 burdensome, it is certain that he will feel the personal 
 appeal, while all the arguments regarding mechanical 
 perfection, attractive design, etc., may awaken no re- 
 sponsiveness whatever. 
 
 Here, then, is the practical application of the principle 
 discussed on p. 18, namely, the necessity of knowing the 
 point of view of your prospect — whether he be a private 
 individual or a merchant — and of establishing a psycho- 
 logical contact with him, just as you would in conver- 
 sation. 
 
 Turn again, now, to the contrasted samples of letters 
 given on p. 27. In the light of what has been said, 
 compare the language of No. 1, noting well the under- 
 scored words in each: 
 
 We are sending you our folder, showing the 
 Arm in a variety of forms. If you will look it over 
 and let us know which one appeals to you, we shall 
 take pleasure in filling your order. We are 
 selling the Arm in large numbers, and are confident 
 that it will prove highly satisfactory, 
 
 with that of No. 2 : 
 
 It is evident that you are one of those who 
 have suffered from the annoyance of the desk phone; 
 you have probably been exasperated, etc. Here is 
 a device that offers you sure relief. 
 Tell us what sort of desk you have and we will do 
 the rest for you .. 
 
 Aside from the question of the "we" and the ''you" 
 element, note the utter absence of salesmanship in No. 
 1, in that there is no effort made to sell; note the lack
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 39 
 
 of all description, and observe the manner in which the 
 prospect is referred to the circular for all that he might 
 l)e interested in knowing. Then note how, in No. 2, 
 the prospect's condition of mind is divined and sj'm- 
 pathetically referred to, and the description of the de- 
 \'ice is such as to make it clear tvhy it will benefit him. 
 Thus the personal element — the "you" element — blends 
 with the description, so that the latter will, in its turn,^ 
 Mwaken interest. 
 
 The principle to be noted is, then, that the description 
 must be such as to develop an interest on the part of 
 the reader in the thing described. And this can be done 
 only when he is shown why the thing should appeal to 
 him, how it can be serviceable to liim, and in what man- 
 ner it will contribute to his advantage or to his com- 
 fort. Observe, too, that this is not to be accomplished 
 by bludgeon blows. He is not to be told : "We are now 
 going to describe this thing to you and show you why 
 you should be interested." It is to be done subtly, by 
 means of the appeal to his personal environment, to his 
 own advantage or satisfaction. And from this sort of 
 appeal he is to be left to infer something — his imagina- 
 tion is to be played on. 
 
 Thus a very few words will sometimes suffice to con- 
 vey description through suggestion — and the awakened 
 imagination will do the rest. The following are examples 
 of sentences that describe just sufficiently to start the 
 imagination to working: 
 
 Thick, creamy chocolate coverings, containing tempting fill- 
 ings of jelly, nougat, caramel, nut, and other delightful 
 flavors. 
 
 These cigars combine mildness with full flavor. They are 
 designed to make every smoker smile \\i'A\ comfort and 
 enjoyment.
 
 40 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Pineapple — the golden, luscious kind — makes a delicious 
 dessert, tempting ices, gratifying sherbets and fruit 
 cups. 
 
 These shoes need no "breaking in" — they're just solid com- 
 fort from the first moment when you put them on. 
 
 When mother shoos the players off to bed, someone is sure 
 to exclaim: "Who turned the clock ahead?" 
 
 People look at your face when they speak to you; at your 
 mouth when you reply. Do justice to your skin and your 
 teeth by using both of these Colgate Comforts. 
 
 Our jams give you that "more-ish" feeling. And they make 
 your mouth water. 
 
 These are simply examples, picked at random, of 
 possible description which relies on the imagination of 
 the reader. If your suggestion is apt and appropriate, 
 he will himself visualize the effect that the goods will 
 produce for him personally. This is a subtle method 
 which, if skilfully employed, will go much farther in 
 stimulating interest than a mere description of details 
 can ever accomplish. 
 
 After all, what is the object of description? Clearly 
 it would not be of much importance if it did not serve 
 to interest the prospect in the product. Thus it is 
 obvious that the description must be made interesting 
 to tlie prospect. No customer can be expected to buy 
 until he is interested. And in trying to effect a sale 
 by means of a letter, it is, of course, impossible to 
 interest the reader without some sort of description. The 
 words ''some sort" are used advisedly, and we shall now 
 explain why. 
 
 We have repeatedly emphasized the necessity of know- 
 ing every detail of a commodity before it can be offered 
 effectively to purchasers, and it is here that the point 
 of this becomes most evident. Clearly, what will inter- 
 est one class of persons will not appeal to others,
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 41 
 
 although the product offered be the same in both cases. 
 The Equipoise Telephone Arm, for instance, commends 
 itself to the bed-ridden cripple for reasons wholly dif- 
 ferent from those that interest the office man. To the 
 cripple, the fact that it makes the telephone accessible 
 without exertion is the interesting feature ; the business 
 man is chiefly concerned, perhaps, with the fact that 
 the device keeps his telephone out of the way, and re- 
 moves all risk of the disturbance of papers, etc., when 
 it is used. Thus discrimination must be used in choos- 
 ing the features to be described to the class of prospect 
 to be appealed to, and an intirnate familiarity with the 
 article will alone make this possible. It is, also, just as 
 necessary to avoid phases of the subject that will not 
 interest your prospect as it is to choose those that will. 
 Description is worth while only when it serves to interest 
 a prospective customer. And only those features or 
 details tliat will interest the man you are writing to are 
 those which should be described to him. To be able to 
 select appropriate features to describe to one class of 
 prospects, and to stress others when appealing to another 
 class, and yet to be able to sell the same article to each 
 class, requires good judgment, of course ; but it requires 
 above all a knowledge of the article itself thorough 
 enough to make such discrimination possible. 
 
 The trained salesman knows that he must sell his 
 article to the country trade by using talking points dif- 
 ferent from those he uses with the city merchant. The 
 sales letter-writer must have the same perception and 
 must frame his letters on the same principles. 
 
 But this is not all, by any means. Hoio shall the 
 description be framed so as to make it interesting? 
 That, after all, is the main question, and it calls for 
 imagination as well as the knowledge of the "talking
 
 42 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 points" of which we have just spoken. There is not 
 much difficulty in dccidinfr which of the two descrip- 
 tions following is more likely to seize on the imagination 
 and awaken the desire to buy. 
 
 No. 1 
 
 The Equipoise Arm is made of cold-drawn 
 steel, handsomely finished. It can be fastened to 
 the wall above the bed or at its side, so as to make 
 it possible to bring it into position without 
 exertion. It thus becomes accessible to anyone 
 reclining there. 
 
 No. 2 
 
 You never know! Some day, you or your loved 
 one may be lying in bed, injured or sick. Then it 
 is that weariness, pain, or simple lonesomeness, or 
 perhaps business cares, add their weight to the 
 leaden passage of the weary hours. The desire for 
 an opportunity of talking to someone "on the out- 
 side" becomes overpowering. Too sick to make the 
 exertion of moving; the body unable to turn to lift 
 the telephone from the table at the bedside, the 
 invalid naturally frets and grows increasingly 
 lonesome as the hours pass. 
 
 What a relief it would be merely to lift the 
 arm and with a touch of the finger cause the telephone 
 to swing lightly into such a position that you 
 could use it without effort or strain! 
 
 The Equipoise Telephone Arm makes this 
 possible. It brings the outside world to the bed- 
 side- -and without an effort. It demands no 
 impossible exertion, no exercise of strength that 
 is not possessed. 
 
 The first of these examples is not very likely to appeal 
 to anyone interested in an invalid, present or prospec- 
 tive. It cannot, indeed, be said to have anything inter- 
 esting in it. Yet it is the sort of description most likely
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 43 
 
 to be written bj' the unthinking — because it requires 
 little or no thought. 
 
 It is, then, necessary to exercise the imagination in 
 describing your product in a manner adapted to the need 
 of the prospective customer. And it is always possible 
 to figure this out, in a general way, when the class of 
 prospects is determined upon. For we know, in a gen- 
 eral way, that specific classes of human beings possess 
 tastes, habits, ideals and prejudices in common, and that 
 the individuals of the class can be counted on to show 
 substantially the same reaction to an appeal accurately 
 and skilfully adapted to tlie characteristic reactions of 
 the class. 
 
 It is suggested that the reader should here refer again 
 to what is said on p. 18 about the need of imagination 
 and the manner in which it should be exercised, in 
 describing the product. 
 
 It may often happen that the giving of an adequate 
 description would prove so lengthy an affair as to 
 obscure and weaken the sales argument of the letter. A 
 very practical method of combining lengthy descriptive 
 features with a sales letter is to print, on the back of 
 the letter itself, an attractive (and illustrated, if desired) 
 description of the product offered in the letter. In the 
 body of the letter, in connection with a sales talk, the 
 reader is requested to turn to the other side of the sheet 
 for a more minute description, and if the references to 
 the product in the letter itself are made sufficiently 
 interesting, the reader may be counted on to complj^ 
 with the suggestion, especially if it is accompanied by 
 the further suggestion that he will find there something 
 to interest him. This method has the advantage of first 
 awakening an interest by a lively sales talk in the letter, 
 and of then supplementing the latter by the description
 
 44 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 on the other side of the sheet. There is always the fact 
 to be borne in mind that such descriptive matter, if sent 
 out in any other printed form, runs a far greater risk 
 of landing in the waste-basket — that haven of wasted 
 advertising matter — than it does when forming practi- 
 cally a part of a sales letter. (See, further, on this sub- 
 ject, pp. 56, 100-102.) 
 
 3. EXPLANATION, ARGUMENT, AND PERSUASION 
 
 Up to this point in the construction of the letter, we 
 have seen that the first step involves arresting the 
 attention ; that the next step is to awaken in the reader 's 
 mind an interest in the thing proposed or offered. This 
 is, of course, only the beginning of the course over which 
 it is proposed to lead him. 
 
 The third step is to develop the interest by such an 
 arresting and attractive explanation of the proposition 
 that it will naturally awaken desire for what is laid 
 before him by your word picture. A certain amount of 
 argument, skilfully blended with persuasion, must 
 necessarily follow, with the thought ever present in your 
 mind that the final persuasive drive must have the defi- 
 nite object of bringing the reader to a decision. This 
 will prove to be not so complicated a process as it sounds, 
 provided always that the principle discussed above be 
 kept in mind, that is, that a letter should be regarded as 
 in the nature of a written conversation. In conversa- 
 tion, these different stages in leading the prospect up 
 to a sale are reached logically and smoothly and natur- 
 ally, each dovetailing into the other. And so it can be, 
 in the case of a written letter, if the writer will visualize 
 himself as talking to the prospect. 
 
 While it is proposed to consider separately the three
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 45 
 
 subjects named at the head of this section, it should be 
 explained beforehand that they are not separate and 
 distinct in the sense of each having its definite place in 
 the scheme of the letter. Each should blend with the 
 other, imperceptibly and naturally, as is, of course, the 
 ease in conversation. And the writer who has learned to 
 make good use of "style," and of good English 
 (see p. 77), will find that it has its fullest use at this 
 stage. 
 
 1. Explanation. — This term, which is used for want 
 of a better one, means, in brief, the giving of a word- 
 picture of the proposition, whether it be a sale of goods 
 or a sale of service that is proposed. Here will appear 
 the force of the principle insisted on above (pp. 11-15), 
 that one must know one's proposition inside out. Word- 
 pictures cannot be painted without, first, a command 
 of good English ; without, next, a knowledge of detail ; 
 and without, finally, the artist's eye with which to 
 visualize the effect of the whole. And to convert your 
 picture into words that will convey your visualization 
 to the minds of others — that is an art requiring much 
 thought and study. You cannot afford to approach this 
 phase of the work superficially or hurriedly. 
 
 Explanation, in practice, is to be addressed to two 
 classes ; those who know nothing about the product, and 
 those who know about it in a general w^a}^ but need 
 particulars, or need to be impressed with the superi- 
 ority of your product over that of similar kinds on the 
 market. In the first case every detail has to be told 
 that is necessary for the purpose in view — and he is 
 an artist who can judge unerringly what these are, in 
 every instance. In the second case the word-picture 
 is of a different sort, for here the high lights are painted 
 in — the points of superiority of your product over others
 
 46 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 of the same general kind being the chief subject of 
 interest. 
 
 Explanation, of course, extends beyond mere descrip- 
 tive detail. It involves description of the goods and 
 such explanation of their uses, their application, their 
 desirability, their superiority, etc., as will form the word 
 picture necessary to interest the prospect. 
 
 In the matter of explanation, too man}^ letters lose 
 their effectiveness because the writer has the mistaken 
 impression that he must make his story "short." The 
 theory that business letters must be short has almost 
 reached the dignity of a law in most business offices; 
 and this is commonly thought to apply to all letters alike. 
 IMany grievous mistakes have been committed in the 
 name of this spurious "law," and many serious losses 
 have resulted from its observance. There is too often a 
 grievous misapprehension of what is involved in the 
 observance of the "Five C's" of business letters, i. e., 
 Clearness, Correctness, Conciseness, Courtesy, and 
 Character. 
 
 Let it be understood at once that a "brief" letter is 
 not necessarily a "short" letter. Among the definitions 
 given by Webster of each of these words, we have 
 selected the following, as serving to emphasize our 
 point : 
 
 Brief, concise. 
 
 Short, inadequate, deficient, defective, imperfect, abrupt, 
 petulant.- 
 
 If we apply these definitions to the situation we are 
 considering, it will be clear that while a letter may be — 
 and ought to be — hrief, i. e., concise; a short letter is 
 one to be avoided under all circumstances. In plain 
 English, the only meaning that this supposed "law"
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 47 
 
 lias for US is that a letter should be concise, using no 
 unnecessary words. But there is no absolute limit to 
 be set as the allowable length of a business letter. Four, 
 five, six pages, if needed in order to tell the story ade- 
 quately, are infinitely more effective than a letter in 
 which the desirable details are omitted for brevity's 
 sake. Lengthy letters, if correctly framed and interest- 
 ingly written, will be read as readily as those of one 
 page or less — often more readily — even as a story of 
 five or six pages will be read — if it interests the reader. 
 This is the only test. For the purposes of adequate 
 explanation, therefore, the length of a letter ought never 
 to be arbitrarily restricted. 
 
 On the other hand, many a sale has beerf killed by too 
 much talking — or writing. The problem is to say 
 enough, and no more than enough. It would obviously 
 be fatal to omit a feature or a fact that you feel sure 
 would appeal strongly to your prospect merely because 
 the inclusion of it would extend your letter beyond a 
 single page. It would be equally fatal to include 
 features which, however, interesting to someone else, 
 have no interest for your reader, or to continue to ex- 
 plain or argue or persuade after you have said enough 
 to convince him. Remember that his only means of .shut- 
 ting you off is to stop reading your letter. But this is 
 so easy for him to do, that the moment you begin to 
 suspect that he would stop, you had better anticipate 
 him b}^ stopping yourself. 
 
 The task at this stage is, then, to develop the interest 
 which the opening part of the letter will have aroused. 
 With the removal of the bugaboo that the sales letter 
 must be limited to one page, there is less difficulty in 
 realizing that the explanation required for this purpose 
 is one that is thorough enough to cause the awakened
 
 48 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 interest to be sustained and developed, as the story pro- 
 gresses. Just how this is to be done, Avhether by a long 
 or by a short explanation, is a question of judgment and 
 depends on circumstances, of course — especially on the 
 general characteristics of the class of prospects appealed 
 to. In view of the fact that it is the prospect's interest 
 that is involved, the explanation must be given from the 
 standpoint of a purchaser, not from that of a seller. 
 
 For example, if we use the same illustration of the 
 Telephone Arm that we made use of above (p. 27), it is 
 not so much a question of the high grade of material of 
 which it is constructed, or of its appearance, but of what 
 it will do for Jiim, how it can be fixed to his desk, his 
 bed, his easy, chair, or to the floor, how it will meet his 
 needs in every situation, how it will save his temper, 
 how it will spare him the annoyance of having someone 
 disturb his desk when using his phone. Details such 
 as these constitute an explanation that will lead him 
 through the different degrees of interest to the point 
 where he is conscious of a desire for the device. And 
 that is the function of explanation. 
 
 As a rule it is wiser to defer the mention of the price 
 until the desirability or the effectiveness of the product 
 have been made sufficiently impressive. 
 
 Sometimes the question of how best to present the 
 detail of price will require considerable thought. To 
 the true salesman price itself is not so important a con- 
 sideration as is the reason for the price. If the product 
 is justifiably offered at a figure higher than the price of a 
 competing product, the reason for this must be found in 
 its higher quality, its greater effectiveness, its longer life, 
 etc. In short, it must be shown to possess qualities 
 which the cheaper product does not possess, and which 
 make it w^orth more. To one who knows his business.
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 49 
 
 therefore, the mere fact that his product costs more 
 than the other fellow's is never a matter of concern, 
 provided he can point to quality and greater usefulness 
 as reasons. The principle underlying the difference in 
 value between a .^500 flivver and a $5,000 high-powered 
 car is so palpable, as to call for no discussion. The prin- 
 ciple is equally applicable in less obvious cases, where 
 explanation of the reason for the higher price is perhaps 
 called for. 
 
 The opposite is true where the price is lower than 
 that of the competing product. In this case the price is 
 an inducement, and is accordingly made a feature of 
 prominence. But unless this is properly done, it may 
 fail to interest, because of the natural suspicion that a 
 low price argues poor quality. Here, then, the reason is 
 again an important element in the explanation. This 
 may be found in quantity production, as having lowered 
 the manufacturing cost, in the fortunate purchase of 
 a bankrupt stock, in the desire to close out an entire 
 line, etc. Whatever the reason, it must be convincing — 
 the elements of a real bargain must be showTi to be 
 present. 
 
 2. Argument and Proof. — We have already urged 
 the wisdom of the policy of telling only the truth. Here 
 is Avhere this policy counts most surely. Sincerity is 
 more convincing than good grammar or a wide vocabu- 
 lary, and infinitely more effective than the most elabo- 
 rately told untruth. The conviction to be striven for 
 is a state of mind in which confidence, belief, reason, 
 take the place of ignorance, disbelief, indifference, or 
 uncertainty. The customer is led to reason himself 
 into the belief that your goods are adapted to his use 
 and that he needs them, and that since they have given 
 satisfaction to others under circumstances similar to his,
 
 50 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 they will also satisfy him. This conviction is founded 
 on the production of satisfactory proof of some kind. 
 But eon^^ction alone does not effect a sale. I may be 
 convinced that your product is the best on the market, 
 but if I don't desire it, I don't buy. 
 
 A full description of a fire engine may be given me, 
 even to its minutest part, and may be couched in the 
 language commanded by a " silver-tongued ' ' orator. You 
 may ' ' prove ' ' to me that it is the most efficient machine 
 of its kind that is procurable. But unless j^ou can show 
 me that I need that fire engine or can benefit in some 
 way by becoming its possessor, I shall not buy it — I 
 shall not even desire it for my own. Thus description 
 of the product and proof of the truth of the description 
 are not enough to make me buy. It is necessary that 
 I be made to desire the article. And this can be accom- 
 plished only by showing me how I shall gain something 
 by acquiring it: either profit, economy, satisfaction, 
 comfort, enjoyment or gratification, etc. Thus "proof," 
 mentioned above, embraces this element — proof of what 
 the product will do for wie, proof of what gratification 
 it wall give me, if I buy it. 
 
 Once more, then, we encounter the fact that the 
 prospect's self-interest is what must be played up to 
 above all else, if the appeal is to be successful. It is 
 the only channel through which desire is to be awakened. 
 
 The prospect has, let us suppose, been brought to the 
 point of considering favorably what has been offered 
 him. In many cases further argument is unnecessary, 
 even unwise; and "proof" of your claims — direct 
 proof — may in the nature of the case be impossible. 
 It is of course necessary to know when to let well enough 
 alone, and when to spring your final "clinching" move, 
 which we shall discuss in a later section of this chapter.
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 51 
 
 Noj we are not starting a booster campaign, 
 but we are selling Sioux City to the large manu- 
 facturers and jobbers who v/ant to locate in a live 
 and steady market. In addition to the natural 
 opportunities inherent to the proposition, we are 
 offering CO-OPERATION. 
 
 We'd like to help YOU, by submitting in full 
 detail what Sioux City has to offer YOU. 
 
 Why not write us about your wishes and your 
 needs? 
 
 Opening and close of a letter sent by the Chamber of Com- 
 merce to large manufacturers and jobbers. Note how the open- 
 ing paragraph seeks to awaken interest, while dispelling doubt 
 about the scheme being a low-grade one. Note, too, the per- 
 sonal note in the closing paragraphs. Considering the class to 
 which the letter was sent, and considering the momentous step 
 involved in the proposition, the climax is as urgent as it ought 
 to be and no more.
 
 52 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 But in many cases the explanation of the offer, how- 
 ever attractively put, cannot be expected to leave the 
 prospect in a condition of mind in which he will volun- 
 tarily act without further ado. Something more in the 
 way of proof is needed. If you are offering him, say, 
 furniture, or underwear, he must be told how it will 
 appeal to his own use or to his customers, and how he is 
 to be the gainer, whether in enjoyment or in additional 
 profit, in increased trade, in better satisfied customers, or 
 what not. And this naturally comes after the explana- 
 tion of the offer itself. If you know your subject prop- 
 erly and thoroughly, you can explain attractively how 
 your offer will appeal to his trade, just how your line will 
 show him a profit, and by what methods he can best 
 attain this result. This is argument, and this is proof, of 
 a sort, blended so as to develop interest. It is up to you 
 to show him u'hy he should buy, and how he will be the 
 gainer if he does — and to prove it by facts and by sug- 
 gestions. 
 
 Proof may be effectively offered by sending a sample 
 of the goods, or perhaps a sample of the article on ten 
 or on thirty days' trial; by referring by name to satis- 
 fied customers in the same town or locality ; by copies of 
 testimonials, provided always that these are palpably 
 honest and above suspicion ; by any act, in short, which 
 frankly puts your cards on the table and makes the 
 prospect feel that you have placed yourself in his hands, 
 to be judged by him alone. This is the most convincing 
 sort of proof. 
 
 Aside from arguing that your product is honestly 
 worth the price, and superior to others offered at the 
 same price, there are concrete methods of proof which 
 are highly effective. Figures may be submitted show- 
 ing how a machine or device can be operated by cheaper
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 53 
 
 labor than is required for others of like purpose, how 
 it will save money for the purchaser and thus pay for 
 itself ; if feasible, a sample may voluntarily be sent with 
 the first letter, to be tested b}^ the prospect in his own 
 way; or an offer to send the device on trial, to be tested 
 and tried out at the seller 's expense, will generally elicit 
 a favorable response. Methods of this sort are effective 
 argument and, while serving as the most convincing 
 proof of your assertions, offer strong evidence of your 
 thorough good faith. In this connection, see the illus- 
 tration given on p. 63. 
 
 After all, what is proof? Literally, of course, it 
 means an actual demonstration, of some sort, of the 
 truth of one's assertions. In practice, however, convic- 
 tion may be said to be a frequent substitute for it. If 
 you can convince me, I am likely to feel that I have all 
 the proof I need. Thus there is a sort of indirect proof, 
 as well as direct proof. An offer to send goods on trial, 
 or with the privilege of returning them if not satisfac- 
 tory or if not as represented, is often so convincing as 
 to take the place of direct proof. I argue, perhaps, that 
 the manufacturer or merchant would never make such 
 an offer unless he was sure of his statements and amply 
 able to prove them. Thus his offer serves to convince 
 me, and I accept it in lieu of proof. 
 
 So the varnish manufacturer who advertises that I 
 may pour boiling water on his varnished surfaces with- 
 out affecting the varnish, ' ' proves ' ' his claims by carry- 
 ing conviction to my mind by his rather startling pro- 
 posal. After all, the sincerity of the offer, the length to 
 which you are willing to go, if necessary to prove your 
 claims, is, to many people, more convincing than the 
 actual proof itself might be, and is itself accepted as if it 
 were real evidence.
 
 54 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 This sort of offer is pretty good ' ' proof ' ' of sincerity : 
 
 Please remember that these goods are offered 
 you on the distinct understanding that if they are 
 not entirely satisfactory, they may be returned at 
 our expense, and your money will then be promptly 
 refunded. 
 
 If you succeQcl in convincing me of your sincerity, 
 I am more than likely to regard your claims as proved. 
 
 Fundamentally, therefore, frankness, a tone of sin- 
 cerity, of open honesty, in the statements made about 
 the product, is often more effective than ocular proof 
 would be; certainly more so than testimonials, reports, 
 and remote testimony of that sort. If you believe in 
 your goods and are willing to back your belief by an 
 offer which involves their return — and therefore a poten- 
 tial loss to yourself — in ease there is anything wrong 
 with them, the sincerity of the tone of your letter will 
 generally carry the same "proof" to my mind as the 
 ocular proof of having the goods before me would 
 accomplish. 
 
 An examination at this point of the illustrative letters 
 on p. 63 and on pp. 64 and 65 will serve to emphasize 
 what has just been said. 
 
 3. Persuasion. — It was intimated at the beginning of 
 this section that argument and persuasion must blend. 
 Argumentativeness which is too clearly argumentative, 
 will often do more harm than good. Along with what 
 has been said in the preceding section must go the per- 
 suasiveness of him who is himself thoroughly convinced. 
 Yet, as with argument, persuasion must be indirect, and 
 not openly apparent. 
 
 Persuasion is that element which leads to affirmative 
 action. Your prospect may have "conviction," but he 
 does not necessarily buy, for all that. But persuasion, 
 following hard on proof and conviction, will itself
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 55 
 
 awaken desire and lead him to the act of buying. The 
 "Do it now!" class of phrases, to which we shall have 
 occasion to refer more specifically later on, are but 
 crudely persuasive in themselves. Their persuasiveness 
 lies in their being used as a climax to the rest of the 
 persuasive language which leads up to the phrase. Some 
 form of persuasion, however, must follow proof. 
 
 The direct method of an attempt at persuasion is 
 often not persuasive at all. The ''Can you afford to 
 do without it?" or the "Buy today, won't you?" line 
 of talk is to most persons more like annoyance than 
 persuasion. If you have been at all dignified or impres- 
 sive in what you have said up to this point, this sort 
 of "coaxing" seems an undignified descent to the meth- 
 ods of the cheap huckster. 
 
 Indirect persuasion is accomplished more by sugges- 
 tion than by open argument ; by suggesting, for instance, 
 that the prospect needs the goods, that he will score a 
 distinct advantage by acquiring them, that without 
 them he is losing an opportunity for profit, or that he 
 himself can judge of their salability by such and such 
 facts. Perhaps, even, you may in some cases be able 
 to tell him that your offer is made to him first, because 
 of his reputation or his local standing, or because, in 
 your opinion, he is best able to handle goods of this 
 kind and quality. 
 
 After all, as has so often been stated above, the most 
 eft'ective persuasion is that which suggests some form of 
 self-interest, whether it be financial gain, personal com- 
 fort, gratification of pride or vanity, or self-indulgence. 
 Yet it must be resorted to sparingly and skilfully, or it 
 wnll overshoot the mark and do harm, in creating the 
 effect of insincerity. 
 
 Bear in mind that the object of argument, of proof,
 
 56 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 and of persuasion is to bring tlie ]n-ospect tlirough the 
 stage of desire to the point of decision. The extent to 
 which resort should be had to each of these methods will 
 be largely suggested by the analysis of the prospect, 
 either as an individual or as a member of a class, which 
 has been suggested and discussed on pp. 12, 18. If you 
 really know your man, you know best how to talk to 
 him ; and if you know the characteristics of the class, 
 you know — or should know — what not to say in address- 
 ing those belonging to that class. 
 
 A good illustration of the blending of argument and 
 persuasion in a model manner is to be seen in the letter 
 following, which was sent by a publishing house to en- 
 gineers, designers, draftsmen, etc. The letter was 
 attached to a facsimile of the cover of the book that it 
 offers, and on the reverse side was printed a concise 
 description of the nature and contents of the book: 
 
 Here in your hands is the "shell" of our 
 latest book. What we want you to have is the actual, 
 living work itself--fresh from the press. 
 
 We shall be glad to send it to you on request, 
 all delivery charges prepaid, for free examination. 
 
 If you are a draftsman or designer, if you 
 have, or hope to have, anything to do with gauges or 
 interchangeable manufacturing, if you are ambitious 
 and alert to follow mechanical progress and improve- 
 ment, you will be eager to examine this book. 
 
 Note (1) the opening that attracts attention; (2) the 
 concise offer; (3) the blending of explanation with argu- 
 ment and persuasion, and, by way of proof, the offer 
 of free examination, "all delivery charges prepaid." 
 Note, too, that description is omitted from the letter — 
 the thought of the writer being that he has said enough 
 to interest his reader to make him turn to the description
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 57 
 
 that is on the back of the cover. And he bases this 
 assumption on the fact that he knows Ms class of pros^ 
 pect, and he has a right to assume, therefore, that what 
 he has said in the letter will so arouse the interest as to 
 make the reader want more information. 
 
 The letter, as written, had one paragraph more than 
 is copied above, and that will be shown and discussed 
 in the next section (p. 65). This letter is well worth 
 study because of the extreme brevity with which it man- 
 ages to include the essential elements, and because of 
 the manner in which it svr/c/ests that which it does not 
 specifically embody. It is open to the criticism of having 
 tDo much "we" in the opening paragraphs; and the 
 second sentence might better have read: "What you 
 ought to have," instead of: "What we want you to 
 have," etc. With these defects, however, it is still an 
 effective letter, well worth critical study. 
 
 Persuasion and inducement follow so closely on the 
 heels of conviction that it is difficult to separate them 
 in practice. If a man is ' ' convinced " that he needs your 
 goods, he is already "persuaded," so far as his reason 
 is concerned. It must be remembered that "proof," as 
 we have discussed it, may mean no more than that the 
 reader is "convinced" that the goods are what you 
 claim for them. He may agree with you on all that 
 you claim for the goods, but he does not necessarily need 
 them, and so all the "proof" in the world won't make 
 him buy. Before he will be willing to buy, he has got 
 to be brought to see that he needs the goods himself, 
 and, by bringing the goods before him in relation to Afs 
 own needs, you are offering him the only persuasion 
 that counts for anything. 
 
 Thus a vacuum clonnei" is sold to a woman by remind- 
 ing her of the tired Imek and exhausted condition tliat
 
 58 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 follow her weekly "sweeping." Persuasion is an easy 
 matter if the device is shown her in close relation to 
 her own need of the very things the machine will do for 
 her. And this, it should be noted, is not the improvement 
 in sweeping that it accomplishes, but the relief from 
 sweeping that it brings to Jier. 
 
 Finally, persuasion may also be exerted by showing 
 that your goods or your brands are preferred by prom- 
 inent persons to those made by other concerns. A 
 leading perfumery manufacturer, for instance, uses the 
 argument in sales letters that inquiries have developed 
 the fact that 528 women out of 600 were found to pre- 
 fer a certain brand manufactured by him. To many, 
 this is convincingly persuasive, and, with the facts to 
 back it, can be effectively used with the right class of 
 prospect. 
 
 4. THE "CLINCHER" CLIMAX 
 
 Many a man has written a good sales letter — until 
 he came to the final paragraph. He has perhaps led 
 his prospect on from awakened interest through aroused 
 and sustained desire to the point where decision, having 
 been formed in the reader's mind, .should be clinched, 
 and action should normally result. But — at this point 
 the contact has ceased ; the closing paragraph, stale and 
 weak in its language, destroys the effect of all that has 
 gone before, and leaves the reader's mind fluid instead 
 of crystallizing it into action. In other words, you have 
 put in your fruit juices and added your sugar and 
 brought the kettle to a boil — but the jelly won't jell. The 
 result is the same as in the Biblical story, where Agrippa 
 says to Paul: "Almost thou persuadest me" — and then 
 wraps his robe around him, terminates the interview,
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 59 
 
 The market on ... . has declined 
 since quoting you last and if in need of this material 
 at the present time, we would suggest that you phone 
 or write us before placing your order which will be 
 to your advantage. 
 
 Thanking you for attention and av/aiting to 
 hear from you at an early date, we remain 
 
 Yours very truly, 
 
 A sales letter utterly lacking in salesmanship. The letter 
 is short, but it includes in small space so many shortcomings 
 in the matter of grammar, of punctuation, as well as of sales- 
 manship, that it is quoted as a fine example of what does not 
 constitute an effective sales letter.
 
 60 UETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 and leaves his interviewer with his object "unattained. 
 The effect of Paul's eloquence and persuasiveness is as 
 if it had never been exerted. The spark that should 
 galvanize the listener into action — was missing. 
 
 The "almost persuaded" effect is the condition to be 
 dreaded and guarded against in the close of the sales 
 letter. 
 
 Let us return once more to our early assertion that a 
 letter is virtually a written sales talk. In the case of 
 the personal interview, as the salesman approaches the 
 point where he hopes actually to book the order, he is 
 particularly careful to say just the right thing in his 
 effort to convert desire into decision and decision into 
 action. He knows that to relax his attention, to say 
 too much, to be futile or to repeat, will easily cause his 
 customer to procrastinate and become evasive — to put 
 the matter off "until a more convenient season." He 
 is, accordingly, through training and experience, thor- 
 oughly alive to the need of the final "clincher" which 
 actually makes his prospect reach for his pen and sign 
 the order. 
 
 As against this, consider what happens in the average 
 sales letter. The opening serves well, perhaps, to arrest 
 attention, and in the description and explanation that 
 follow the reader may become thoroughly interested. 
 His desire is, let us say, growing, and he has almost 
 decided to buy. Then — by way of anti-climax — he 
 comes to that deadly final paragraph, w^here he reads: 
 "Hoping to receive your valued order, we are," etc. 
 
 Can it be supposed that such a close can win an order 
 that would not have been given anyhow ? Suppose that 
 such language were actually used by a salesman in clos- 
 ing an interview. Would it get him anywhere — except 
 out of the door? Yet paragraphs such as this are
 
 FRAMEWORK OP THE SALES LETTER 61 
 
 regarded as the accepted and proper form of closing a 
 sales letter, and are sent out by the thousand every 
 day. And such letters land in the waste-basket by the 
 thousand every day, too ! 
 
 Equally deadly is the final paragraph saying: "If 
 there is anything further that we can tell you about 
 this, we shall be glad to do so on request." The sales- 
 man would never dream of saying this to his prospect. 
 He knows too well the necessity of talking from the 
 standpoint of the listener, and of anticipating his — the 
 listener's — mental action. And so must you, if you 
 would be a letter-writing salesman. 
 
 It is the worst mistake imaginable to suppose, as so 
 many do, that a letter that closes without some such 
 phrase as: "Hoping to hear from you shortly, we are, 
 etc.," is abrupt or incomplete. On the contrary, abrupt- 
 ness, in the sense of leaving the correspondent in the 
 full grasp of an important idea, with no vapid drivel 
 to weaken the effect of the last words read, is just the 
 result that should be striven for. Contrast, for example, 
 these two ideas, by taking the close of the letter shown 
 on page 63 and placing it alongside the sort of close we 
 have just mentioned : 
 
 Remember, please, Remember, please, 
 
 we'll try our very best we'll try our very best 
 to satisfy you. So mail to satisfy you. 
 
 the order NOW! u • 4. u 
 
 Hoping to hear from 
 Very truly yours, you soon, we are 
 
 Yours very truly, 
 
 The second form is almost an invitation to the reader 
 to put off an innnediate reply, and to act "soon," i. e., 
 whenever he gets round to it. And that is probably 
 — never! Then, too, the first example leaves the reader
 
 62 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 ill the grasp of the idea that he is being offered real indi- 
 vidual "service," and that it behooves him to take 
 advantage of the offer in the same spirit, i. e., promptly; 
 while in the second example, the utter lack of confi- 
 dence on the part of the writer of the letter, implied in 
 the word "hoping," communicates itself to the reader 
 — and he lays the letter aside to await "a more con- 
 venient season." 
 
 It ought not to be necessary to warn against the use 
 of "bull-dozing" language in the attempt to induce 
 action. Yet an otherwise effective letter may fail in its 
 purpose through the use of tactless language urging 
 action, but unsuited to the prospect. Notice the "please" 
 in the closing paragraph on the next page ; observe how 
 the promise to try to suit the prospect softens the effect 
 of the final : ' ' mail the order now ! ' ' 
 
 Mere forceful language, then, will not alone make the 
 "clincher" effective. Language psychologically adapted 
 to the class of prospect is the vitally important thing. 
 And the writer of sales letters must choose his language 
 with the same care that is exercised by the capable sales- 
 man. If you have made the study of your subject and of 
 your different classes of prospects, such as we have urged 
 on pp. 10-15, 18, 45, 56, 84, and 97, you will be able to 
 make your final sentences as effective for eacJi class of 
 prospects as the capable salesman does. 
 
 In order, then, that all the earlier and effective 
 parts of the letter may not be rendered ineffective and 
 futile; in order that all that has been aimed at and 
 hoped for in the planning of the letter may have the 
 fullest opportunity for achievement, let your close come 
 as a climax that has a psychological pull, and that will 
 bring your prospect's pen to paper with a compelling 
 urge.
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 63 
 
 You can get a hundred of these cigars simply 
 by writing your name. We don't ask you to send any 
 money. Just fill out the attached order blank and 
 mail NOW. In a few days a parcel-post package of 
 Cigar Enjoyment will arrive. Smoke FIVE cigars at 
 OUR RISK. If you are pleased, send us ^7.50 in three 
 days; otherwise return the rest of the cigars within 
 the same period, and you will owe us nothing. 
 
 Remember, please, we'll try our very best 
 to satisfy you. So mail the order NOW. 
 
 A good example of the inducement climax, with the "Do it 
 now!" suggestion effectively backed up by the "proof" offer in 
 a most practical form. 
 

 
 64 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 We want you to kndw that we carry the best 
 pipe die made- -and we suggest that you make us 
 prove it! 
 
 You can do so very easily- -and at our expense 
 --if you will send to us for any size you desire, try 
 it out, and then return the die or send us the price. 
 
 You'll send us the money and keep the die-- 
 for it's the famous Nye skip- tooth die. 
 
 Here is a die that operates with 70 per cent 
 less friction than any similar die, and one man can 
 easily thread any 2" pipe with it. 
 
 Besides containing the patented skip-tooth 
 feature, the Nye pipe die is relieved or backed-off 
 and is made both in the solid block and in the Arm- 
 strong adjustable type. And as to material, there 
 isn't any better procurable anywhere than what 
 goes into these dies. 
 
 There are other dies that cost less than 
 these- -but they are worth less. 
 
 We'd like to get this first order from you, 
 because you will surely want more after trying that 
 first one. This letter ought to convince you, but if 
 it doesn't, the die will. 
 
 Our stock is complete and delivery will be 
 prompt. Why bother with the ordinary die? Why not 
 have the best? There's no bother with the Nye die. 
 
 Your die is waiting for you. Won't you 
 write us for it? 
 
 This is not an ideal letter, but it is forceful, nevertheless. Its 
 opening words arrest the attention; the next paragraph awak- 
 ens interest; this is sustained, if not increased, through the 
 four succeeding paragraphs of argument and proof, which cul- 
 minate in the persuasive next two paragraphs. Final action Is 
 suggested in the last. There is too much of the "we" element 
 at the start; but when once past that, the reader feels that the 
 letter is written from his standpoint. Note, too, the forceful and 
 persuasive close.
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 65 
 
 After all, this means no more than giving him a rea- 
 son why he should act — and act at once. We have said 
 enough to make it plain that whatever is said for this 
 purpose, the idea to be stressed must be stressed in the 
 spirit of what has gone before, earlier in the letter. 
 Remember that the successful sales letter must result 
 in a continued progress of growing emotion — attention, 
 interest, desire, decision, action. We are discussing the 
 climax — action. And in endeavoring to produce this, 
 the writer must be even more forceful in his final sug- 
 gestion than he has been in the body of the letter. At 
 the least, there must be no diminution of the spirit and 
 of the power that have gone before. 
 
 Examine, now, once again, the letter that was quoted 
 in part on p. 56 ; which we now give in full, with its 
 effective ''clincher" climax: 
 
 Here in your hands is the "shell" of our 
 latest book. What we want you to have is the actual, 
 living work itself--fresh from the press. 
 
 We shall be glad to send it to you, all 
 delivery charges prepaid, for free examination, 
 on request. 
 
 If you are a draftsman or designer, if you 
 have, or hope to have, anything to do with gauges or 
 interchangeable manufacturing, if you are ambitious 
 and alert to follow mechanical progress and improve- 
 ment, you will be eager to examine this book. 
 
 Simply sign the order card for FREE EXAMINA- 
 TION, and a copy will be sent you at once. 
 
 Observe now the letter as a whole. Notice how it is 
 designed to attract attention and awaken interest (par- 
 agraph 1) ; to stimulate further interest (paragraph 2) ; 
 to awaken desire and suggest decision (paragraph 3) ; 
 and finally (paragraph 4), to push the reader ''over
 
 66 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 the edge, " so to speak, and to cause him to act by giving 
 him a reason why he should act, and act at once. 
 
 This is one form of clincher, combining as it does the 
 "Do it now ! ' ' element with an offer of something that 
 will appeal to the self-interest of the reader — and that 
 entails no expense. And this is made still easier and 
 more likely to be acted on by enclosing the ' ' order card ' ' 
 all ready for the mere signature. The decision is thus 
 made to ripen into action by means of the tempting 
 blank that he holds in his hand. He visualizes the act 
 — and it is done ! The whole principle of the "clincher" 
 can be deduced by a proper study of this illustrative 
 letter. 
 
 Then, as a clincher of another sort, there is the price 
 inducement, the appeal to self-interest by the statement 
 that the "initial" or "introductory" price is good for 
 only so long. This is again an appeal that is difficult 
 to resist. 
 
 There is also tlie very effective suggestion : ' ' Tear off 
 the coupon from this letter. It already bears your name 
 and address. Pin a dollar bill to it, and mail it TO- 
 DAY." Or, if cash is not required with the order, the 
 suggestion to send in the coupon or a self-addressed post- 
 card that is enclosed in your letter is still an effective 
 appeal that demands the minimum of effort for the 
 gratification of self-interest. 
 
 A successful publisher who furnishes market and 
 financial advice makes a psychological appeal of con- 
 siderable force by saying: "Direct your secretary to 
 send for one this morning, when you are dictating. " The 
 subtle suggestion that this makes to the reader that he 
 is regarded as a "magnate," and that a request coming 
 from him will be regarded as having been sent through 
 his "secretary," tends to flatter the pride — and to induce
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER 67 
 
 Have you a dollar bill in your pocket-book- - 
 an old, spineless one?--that you're not particularly 
 fond of? 
 
 Pin it to this card and send it in an envelope 
 to the address above, for the biggest and the best 
 dollar's worth of pure Joy a dollar ever bought. 
 
 Does it sound like Coney Island? or a gold 
 brick? 
 
 It's neither. It's the wisest, wittiest, 
 cleverest little book we've come across in a blue 
 moon- -"This Simian World," by Clarence Day, Jr. 
 
 No, we're not the publishers. 
 
 And this is not a usual horn-blowing. We 
 want to send you the book because it is a "New 
 Republic" sort of book; if you like it, you'll prob- 
 ably like the "New Republic" too! 
 
 The took is published by 
 
 Unstrap that dol l ar! 
 
 Familiarity and "breeziness" are perhaps somewhat overdone 
 here; but the letter is nevertheless a good illustration of the 
 "inducement" argument, coupled with the urge to send in the 
 money, which is made attractive by the simple method pro- 
 posed.
 
 -68 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 action. When oneo the salesman gets the reply he seeks, 
 it is a simple matter to "follow up" with subsequent let- 
 ters in the effort to make a sale. 
 
 It is well to bear in mind that in many of their char- 
 acteristics men and women are still children. A skilful 
 letter-writer can turn this to good advantage, if he 
 remembers that, taken as a group, people are strongly 
 inclined to do as they are told. Thus a good many 
 people, when they are forcefully urged to ''Do it now !" 
 are instinctively inclined to obey — or, shall we say, 
 comply? — without further thought. Thus, psj^chologi- 
 cally speaking, the way to induce buying action is 
 through some forceful phase of the "Act now!" idea, 
 adapted in tone and language to the individuals 
 addressed. 
 
 The psychology involved in the "clincher" close can 
 be noted any day if one will place himself before a 
 retail store window where an attractive display of goods 
 is being made. A passer-by — indeed, many of them — 
 can often be seen to be caught by the attractive showing 
 of, let us say, some desirable shirts and furnishings. He 
 stops, gazes at the goods, turns and bends and examines 
 them with growing interest, is interested to the point 
 of admitting to himself that he likes the shirts and has 
 "half a notion" to buj^ some of them. He even con- 
 siders entering the store to do so. But — he hesitates. 
 He begins to think — he thinks he can get them tomorrow 
 or the next time he is passing, just as well as now. He 
 moves slowly on. He has missed the impelling urge of 
 persuasion — for there is none but the mute display itself. 
 He does not buy. 
 
 All that was necessary to cause him to buy was some 
 extraneous influence which would impel him to imme- 
 diate decision and to resulting action. The store win-
 
 FRAMEWORK OF THE SALES LETTER Gl) 
 
 dow display sells goods, of course. This is not denied. 
 But there are very many who examine the display who 
 are not fully persuaded through seeing it, and who 
 would be buyers if there was something besides the dis- 
 play to influence them. 
 
 The psychology of such a situation is thoroughly 
 appreciated by the owner of, say, a secondhand cloth- 
 ing store. He makes it a point to stand in his doorway 
 where he insistently urges such hesitating prospects as 
 he sees, to enter his store. When once he gets them 
 inside, he generally effects a sale, because he succeeds 
 in crystallizing the customer's hesitation and half- 
 developed desire into decision and resulting action, 
 through his arguments and persuasion. 
 
 The sales letter offers the goods — as does the show 
 window. But unless it does more, it is but a mute show 
 window, and is even less attractive, less convincing, 
 than is the attractive display of a good show window. 
 In order to accomplish more, the letter must combine 
 the effect of the offering (the show window of the 
 store) with something that will assist in converting 
 desire into action. It must clincli the sale by insistent 
 persuasion so that the final emotion experienced by the 
 reader is determination, follow^ed immediately by action. 
 
 Following are illustrations of some of the final phrases 
 that are encountered in successful sales letters: 
 
 Send in yoiir order TODAY! 
 Just clip the coupon and send it in. 
 Write TODAY if you wish to take advantage of this. 
 Renieinber, the offer of a sample is absolutely without 
 strings or conditions. 
 Your copy is waiting for you — send for it today! 
 To take advantage of this offer, you nnist act today. 
 Write your order at the foot of this' letter — and send it in. 
 This offer is final — there will not be another.
 
 70 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Finally, then, the last detail in the framework of the 
 sales letter must be the "clincher." Without it the 
 letter is lame and impotent. Without it, the writer has 
 no right to look for results. The tone, the form, the 
 language of such a "clincher" must depend largely on 
 the nature of the product offered, on the customary 
 mental reactions of the prospects themselves, and, above 
 all, on the writer himself and his insight into his- sub- 
 ject and his prospect. This is not a book of forms. 
 All we attempt to do is to stimulate the imagination, 
 while seeking to direct it into the channels which experi- 
 ence has proved to lead to success.
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 DETAILS THAT CONTKIBUTE TO SUCCESS- 
 FUL SALES LETTERS 
 
 1. REPLIES THAT ARE NOT ORDERS 
 
 A sales letter will often elicit a reply of a sort dif- 
 ferent from that which has been hoped for. It may be 
 in the nature of an objection of some sort to the article 
 offered, or it may be in the form of a request for further 
 information. A reply of either nature is better than 
 no reply at all, and to that extent is to be regarded as 
 gratifying. It is, at least, proof of interest on the part 
 of the writer, and gives one the opportunity of meeting 
 the correspondent squarely on his own ground. It not 
 only means a possible sale, if the objections are success- 
 fully met, or if the additional particulars given can be 
 made to carry persuasion, but it tends to show the writer 
 where his own previous letter may have been weak. In 
 other words, replies of this sort serve to give one the 
 other man's point of view in most direct fashion, and 
 are therefore educatively valuable. 
 
 Basically, the reply to such a letter must again be a 
 sales letter, but it involves the personal element in much 
 more direct fashion. This time you know what your 
 correspondent thinks about the proposition, and your 
 reply is specifically directed to liis individual objec- 
 tions, or to his individual incjuiry, where before your 
 letter was based on the supposed point of view of an 
 entire class. You will, therefore, be able to give to the 
 
 71
 
 72 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Your suggestion that the alloy used in the 
 construction of our strainer is subject to electro- 
 reaction and will not, therefore, last long, has 
 been most interesting to us. So important did it 
 seem that we have had our chemical laboratory at work 
 on your idea ever since your letter reached us. 
 
 Experiments exhaustively gone into have con- 
 vinced our chemists that the deposit of salts you 
 describe comes from the feed line, and is not to be 
 attributed to the metal of the strainer. 
 
 As you no doubt know, gasoline is now being 
 sold that contains considerable sulphur in solution. 
 This, when coming in contact with the copper feed 
 line, is precipitated as copper sulphate, and is 
 carried into the strainer and collected there. You 
 will probably find that this accounts for the deposit 
 you have described to us. 
 
 Won't you examine your sample with this idea 
 in mind and let us know your conclusions? Possibly 
 this will serve to clear up your doubts. If it does, 
 you'll feel like giving us that order for 1,000 
 you wrote of, won't you? 
 
 Our Mr. is planning to be in your city 
 
 about the first of next month. He will be able to 
 offer you very attractive terms for quantity orders, 
 and hence you will probably find it worth your while 
 to make promptly the examination we suggest above. 
 
 In any event, we want to assure you that we 
 value your criticisms, and sincerely thank you for 
 writing us on a subject that needed clearing up. 
 
 An example of the "retort courteous" to a customer who has 
 complained that the article offered him is "no good." It sub- 
 ordinates the effort to sell to the effort to get him into the 
 right frame of mind, and to cause him to feel that his "kick" is 
 regarded a.s^ the basis of an important laboratory test, rather 
 than as something to be explained away or apologized for. 
 Note, too, how the reply is made from the point of view of the 
 reader — his conclusions and experiences are inquired about.
 
 DETAILS OF SALES LETTERS 73 
 
 correspondence from this point on, an atmosphere which 
 is personal and direct, such as was impossible in the 
 original sales letter. 
 
 The utmost care must of course be exercised to avoid 
 a tone in your reply that implies superiority of knowl- 
 edge, or any condescension on your part in tendering 
 an explanation. It must never be even intimated that 
 your correspondent's failure to see things from your 
 point of view is due to his inability to understand the 
 subject, or to grasp the description already given. This 
 might fatally alienate him, and would, at best, tend to 
 make him less open to conviction. On the contrary, he 
 should be thanked for pointing out his objection, and for 
 the opportunity he has given you for reply. He may 
 even be told that, in the light of the objections he has 
 raised, you can see that the mistake lies at your own 
 door, in the poor description you gave in the first 
 instance. He will then be much more ready to accept 
 your explanation, and to permit his misconception to 
 be set right. 
 
 The objections that he raises must be discussed in 
 your reply in a thoroughly frank and honest manner, 
 with no room for him to suspect that you are attempt- 
 ing to evade the discussion, or to cover up weak points. 
 The difference between your article and others on the 
 market must be gone into thoroughly ; its special adapt- 
 ability to his neects or his use must be shown in specific 
 terms, with a careful avoidance of all generalities. If 
 the objection is the usual one : "I am told by So-and-So, 
 who has used your device, that it is faulty in such-and- 
 such respect," this opens the door wide to a full com- 
 parison, and for the opportunity of showing in an agree- 
 able way that So-and-So 's opinion is a mistaken one. 
 The thorough familiarity with the article itself, its
 
 74 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 details of manufacture, its potentialities and its achieve- 
 ments, as against others on the market, the wisdom of 
 which was urged in an earlier chapter, will stand you 
 in good stead here. 
 
 A simple request for further particulars should, of 
 course, be replied to with the same expression of thanks 
 for the opportunity to be more explicit, as when reply- 
 ing to an objection. It, too, should be regarded as edu- 
 cative, in the sense that it shows you the other man's 
 point of view, and may give you a valuable hint for 
 improving on your technique of description. Here 
 again, you need all the knowledge of your subject that 
 it is possible to acquire. 
 
 The main thought to be kept in the foreground in 
 framing replies to either class of letter is that you have 
 an opportunity otfered for the exercise of real salesman- 
 ship. Your correspondent is probably half "sold" 
 already, even if he does not realize it at the time of 
 writing. He would not have written you if he was not 
 interested. It is therefore "up to you" to make the 
 most of the opportunity he offers you himself — and to 
 "put the sale over." 
 
 2. IMPORTANCE OF A COMPARATIVE STUDY OF LETTERS 
 
 In later chapters we shall pass from the consideration 
 of sales letters to that of other kinds of business letters. 
 But we cannot drop the present subject without urging 
 on the reader the great value of the analysis of his own 
 letters in the light of results, and also of the study of 
 his own letters in comparison with those of others. The 
 particular application that this has to follow-up letters 
 is shown in the early pages of Chapter IV, but its gen- 
 eral application will be discussed here. 
 
 No successful writer of sales letters would copy the
 
 DETAILS OP SALES LETTERS 75 
 
 language of someone else's letters, no matter how effec- 
 tive he might believe them to be. The letters given 
 throughout these pages are in no sense to be regarded as 
 models, in the sense that their exact language is ever to 
 be imitated. It is probable that each one is susceptible of 
 improvement in several ways — and this is true of the 
 general run of all sales letters. But they serve to illus- 
 trate methods, style, sequences, arguments. They should 
 also serve to suggest ideas to the thoughtful writer, but 
 they should never serve as copy. 
 
 Thus, if you are seriously trjdng to improve the effec- 
 tiveness of your own sales letters, you will continually 
 be on the look-out for those written by others. You will 
 analyze their methods, and compare them with your 
 own. You will gather from them, as from the examples 
 given in these pages, hints for use by yourself — but you 
 will not, if you are wise, copy or imitate them. There 
 are two good reasons for this warning. First, there are 
 almost always small circumstances connected with your 
 own case that differ from those connected with the 
 case of the other writer. A slavish imitation, therefore, 
 is almost certain to be weak in its application to your 
 own case. It will certainly lack the individual features 
 with which you must impress your own letter. Thus 
 yon will be the loser in results, as all imitators are, in 
 the end. And, secondly, to imitate is to deaden initia- 
 tive and to destroy the ability to write independently 
 and effectively when you have no model to follow. 
 
 It is quite otherwise if you regard the sales letters of 
 others as fit subjects for comparative study, from which 
 you may draw valuable lessons concerning both what is 
 good in them and what is weak in them. This sort of 
 study and comparison ought to be carried on unremit- 
 tingly, and whenever the opportunity offers.
 
 76 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Of eciual importance is .the study of your own sales 
 letters in the light of the results that they bring. Some 
 of them will prove successful ; many of them will not 
 bring you the results which you hope for and think 
 you have reason to expect. The results of each sales 
 letter should be tabulated. If they are satisfactory, you 
 should seek to place your finger on those features in 
 your letter which served to make it a success. You 
 may possibly have written a forceful and convincing 
 letter more through good fortune than anything else; 
 you may have evolved it carefully and deliberately in 
 the light of the principles you have learned. In either 
 case it should be analyzed. Learn what the successful 
 element was — and stick a pin in it ! But be very sure 
 that no matter how successful a given letter may seem 
 to have been, it is certain that it migJit liave been still 
 more successful. This is said, not in order to discour- 
 age, but to furnish the stimulus for continual analysis 
 and continual striving after improvement. Eesults grow 
 as experience increases. 
 
 Pursue the same methods with your unsuccessful let- 
 ters. Examine them criticall.y. What did similar letters, 
 written by others, contain that yours did not contain? 
 Wliat would you write now, as compared witli ivliat you. 
 wrote tlienf Be frank with yourself and dig out the 
 points on which you were weak ; face them ; and so shape 
 your next effort as to avoid the same mistakes and to 
 improve on the former weaknesses. Thus results that 
 might otherwise be a source of discouragement can be 
 made a stimulus for improvement of method and may 
 prepare for future successes. 
 
 Real, pulling, successful letters will soon follow from 
 such work. You may be assured of it ! This is, in fact, 
 the only certain road to success.
 
 DETAILS OF SALES LETTERS 77 
 
 3. THE PSYCHOLOGICAL VALUE OF STYLE 
 
 We cannot leave the subject of sales letters without a 
 final insistence on the value of correctness in grammar, 
 spelling, punctuation, etc., in letters. 
 
 Aside from the consideration that self-respect requires 
 the author of a letter to insist on its being free from 
 errors before he signs it, there is another and highly 
 important considei-ation which makes correctness in 
 these details a matter to be insisted on. The flat .state- 
 ment that sales are often lost through sending out. badly 
 spelled letters or letters that are poorly punctuated may 
 seem startling and even exaggerated. It is, neverthe- 
 less, only too often literally true. 
 
 As we have seen, the primary object in a sales letter is 
 to arrest the attention and to hold the interest of the 
 reader. Poor grammar or long and involved sentences 
 make it difficult, of course, for the reader to follow with- 
 out mental exertion the writer's line of thought. The 
 reader's attention is thus diverted from the subject in 
 his effort to understand the language. Psychologically 
 the same result follows bad spelling or bad punctuation. 
 Small mistakes of this nature begin their evil effect by 
 making a bad impression on the mind. The mind is 
 arrested in its operation of following the argument of 
 the letter to dwell disapprovingly on the minor errors 
 of style. This breaks the train of thought w^hich the 
 ivriter has aimed to direct in the reader's mind. The 
 reader stops to notice the use of a semicolon where a 
 colon should have been used ; he stumbles in his reading 
 when he encounters a comma where a period and the end 
 of the sentence should have been. He shudders mentally 
 over his correspondent's use of phrases that are useless 
 and futile and meaningless. The inevitable result is a 
 division of attention — the reader is thinking of the errors
 
 78 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 he has encountered, when his whole attention should be 
 on the subject of the letter. 
 
 The attention of the reader must be caught — this we 
 have seen in the foregoing pages. It must be held also 
 — and it is obvious that holding it is impossible if dis- 
 tractions of any kind are allowed to creep in. Errors 
 such as those we have referred to are distractions — and 
 offensive distractions, whose consequences are much 
 greater than the errors would appear to deserve. Divided 
 and weakened attention is too serious a handicap to risk 
 through want of care on the part of the writer. Why 
 incur such risk, when a little care for such matters will 
 avoid it altogether? 
 
 Equally destructive of attention — or, perhaps it were 
 better to say, wholly incapable of arousing attention — 
 are the futile, vapid phrases so often used by writers 
 of business letters as a result of an unthinking habit. 
 One of the first habits to be cultivated by anyone who 
 would make his letters original and ''pulling" is the 
 avoidance of the use of stilted and formal phrases. Some 
 of these are listed below. 
 
 For a general discussion of good English in business 
 writing and for immediate aid in puzzling questions of 
 grammar, spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and the 
 uses and meanings of words, the reader should consult' 
 the volume entitled Better Business English, in this 
 series. 
 
 4. FUTILE PHRASES 
 
 Whatever the nature of your letter, avoid the use of 
 language of this sort: 
 
 We are enclosing Jiere- The "herewith" and the "hereto" 
 with are redundant, unnecessary, and
 
 DETAILS OF SALES LETTERS 
 
 79 
 
 Please find attached 
 
 hereto 
 Enclosed please find 
 
 stilted. You would not use them 
 in conversation. 
 
 What does "please find" mean? This 
 phrase, also, would sound ridicu- 
 lous to you if someone used it in 
 speaking to you. 
 
 The simple, natural expressions 
 would be: "We enclose a circu- 
 lar," etc., and "You will find a 
 sample attached." 
 
 Hoping to receive your 
 valued order 
 
 Thanking you in ad- 
 vance 
 
 Atvaiting your reply 
 
 Aside from the utter uselessness and 
 futility of such phrases, a letter 
 should never close with a sentence 
 beginning with a participle. If 
 you must say something of the 
 sort conveyed by these phrases, 
 translate them into something 
 like this: "We assure you that 
 we shall take pleasure in seeing 
 that your order is given the most 
 careful and prompt attention;" 
 "For whatever you may be willing 
 to do for ns we shall be very 
 grateful;" "Your reply will be 
 awaited with much interest;" 
 "We shall do our very best to 
 please you." 
 
 Agreeable to your re- 
 quest 
 
 Pursuant to your re- 
 quest 
 
 ConfornHiMe to your re- 
 quest 
 
 As per your request 
 
 These, again, are monstrosities of 
 language which no sane salesman 
 would ever think of using in con- 
 versation. Substitute: "We are 
 sending you the catalogue you 
 asked for;" "We have examined 
 our books as you siiggested we 
 should do;" "It has been a pleas- 
 ure to us to couiply with your re- 
 quest that we should," etc. 
 
 In reply to same 
 The material for same 
 Notice if same is what 
 you need 
 
 This word ought to be regarded as 
 the outlaw of business corre- 
 spondence. It should never be 
 used under any circumstances,
 
 80 
 
 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 and can almost always be dis- 
 pensed with without a substitute: 
 "In reply;" "The material for it;" 
 "Notice if it is what you need." 
 
 We beg to hand you 
 We beg to acknowledge 
 We beg to say 
 We beg to advise 
 
 These are more of the archaic 
 phrases that are used in business 
 correspondence but that are the 
 reverse of business-like. Such lan- 
 gxm^e, if analyzed, is found to 
 imply servility, and in a letter is 
 not only out of place but does 
 not express the facts. You hand 
 your correspondent nothing by 
 means of a letter. And if you 
 "beg," you most certainly won't 
 sell, or even be accorded the right 
 to treat with him as an equal. 
 Say: "We enclose;" "We send 
 you," etc. 
 
 We beg to remain 
 
 "We remain, yours truly," is an ar- 
 chaic survival of an utterly out- 
 of-date attempt at polite formality 
 for which modern business would 
 have nothing but contempt if 
 judgment had not been dulled by 
 habit. Why, then, "beg to re- 
 main" when nothing of the kind 
 is really meant? Present-day 
 good sense dispenses eyen with 
 the "we are," and sanctions the 
 curtailed close: "Yours truly," 
 "Very truly yours," etc., without 
 any prefatory language. 
 
 The above will make It 
 
 clear 
 In pursuance of the 
 
 above 
 The above statement 
 
 Although there is no such thing in 
 the English language as "above" 
 in the sense of a noun or of an 
 adjective, this glaring error of 
 grammar is more commonly 
 committed in letters than any 
 other. Grammatical English re- 
 quires: "The foregoing will make
 
 DETAILS OF SALES LET'i'ERS 
 
 81 
 
 We have your favor, 
 contents of which 
 have been carefully 
 noted 
 
 We would state 
 We beg to advise 
 
 As per 
 
 Your esteemed favor 
 
 it clear;" "In pursuance of what 
 appears above;" "The foregoing 
 (or preceding) statement," etc. 
 
 This is nonsense. You would not 
 be writing if you had not "noted" 
 the contents of the letter. But 
 what is done when "contents are 
 noted," anyway? Omit the entire 
 statement, and the letter is as 
 good as it can possibly be with it 
 — and far less tiresome. 
 
 Why not say what you have to 
 "state" without this unnecessary 
 preamble? To "advise" when you 
 actually are making a statement 
 is an absurdity. 
 
 How this mongrel phrase crept into 
 business phraseology is as diffi- 
 cult to explain as the phrase itself 
 is to defend. It is not only bad 
 English, but bad form as well. 
 Change such sentences as "We 
 wrote you as per copy herewith" 
 to something like: "Please refer 
 
 to our letter of , a copy 
 
 of which is attached." Whatever 
 you choose to write in its place, 
 be careful never to use this 
 phrase under any circumstances. 
 
 Why is a business letter a "favor"? 
 And who would term it "es- 
 teemed" if speaking of a letter in 
 conversation? The phrase sug- 
 gests insincerity — for it is never 
 meant in its real significance. If 
 it is necessary or advisable to ex- 
 press appreciation, why not do so 
 in honest twentieth-century lan- 
 guage, such, for example, as: 
 "Your letter gave us much pleas- 
 ure," or, "We are greatly pleased 
 to learn from your letter," etc.?
 
 82 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Thanking you in ad- Aside from beginning with a par- 
 
 vance ticiple, which is bad form, the 
 
 "thanking in advance" is an ab- 
 surdity. Thanks can be tendered 
 only after the act. Actually this 
 phrase is no more than a notifi- 
 cation that you do not intend to 
 take the trouble to thank your 
 correspondent properly. It is both 
 absurd and, what is worse, dis- 
 courteous. Say: "I shall be 
 greatly obliged," etc.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTEKS 
 
 It cannot be expected, of course, that the entire list 
 of persons to whom a sales letter may be sent will 
 respond with orders or purchases. Indeed, there are 
 some lines of business in which, if five to ten per cent of 
 such affirmative returns are secured, the result is con- 
 sidered highly satisfactory. If those who do not respond 
 to the first letter are nevertheless regarded as live pros- 
 pects, such as would warrant further effort, they will, 
 of course, be given one or more follow-up letters in the 
 hope that they may yet be induced to send in their- 
 orders. 
 
 Again, notwithstanding what was said in Chapter II 
 regarding the propriety of writing letters several pages 
 long, the nature of the article to be offered or the class 
 of prospective buyers or some other consideration may 
 induce the decision to carry on an educational campaign 
 along with the sales effort. Hence it becomes necessary 
 to plan a series of letters to accomplish this. These, 
 too, are follow-up letters. They necessitate separate 
 consideration from the class of follow-up letters first 
 mentioned. 
 
 1. POLLOW-UPS TO ORIGINAL SALES LETTERS 
 
 Of the class of follow-up sales letters mentioned in 
 the first paragraph above, i. e,, those which are sent 
 out because the first has evoked no response, something 
 
 83
 
 84 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 more has to be added to what has been said at length 
 on original sales letters in the preceding chapters. No 
 matter whether one or several efforts are made to induce 
 a prospect, who has failed to reply, to become a buyer, 
 each follow-up letter must be a complete sales letter in 
 itself, differing each time from its predecessors, per- 
 haps, in language and arguments, but constructed on 
 the scientific lines of original sales letters, such as we 
 have already discussed. Of course an effort should be 
 made in each new letter to present the subject with as 
 much novelty of form and argument as possible, on the 
 theory that if the reader was not interested by the first 
 presentation, he may be interested by having the sub- 
 ject put before him from some other point of view. And 
 since such a sales effort will rarely be pursued beyond 
 two or three follow-up letters, each one must be a com- 
 plete sales letter in itself, because as each one is sent 
 out, it is with the hope that the purpose will be accom- 
 plished, and that no succeeding letter will be necessary. 
 But before a follow-up is written to those who have 
 not replied to your original sales letter, a definite inves- 
 tigation and study of the replies that have been received 
 should be carried out. This is as important a step as is 
 the study of the goods and of the prospect, which has 
 been discussed in Chapter I. A little reflection will show 
 the immense importance of endeavoring to leani from 
 the replies (1) what were the features in your sales 
 letter that brought the favorable responses, and (2) 
 en what particular points further effort should be con- 
 centrated in order to impress and influence the pros- 
 pects who have not yet replied. If this is possible, you 
 gain, not only the additional business which results from 
 additional orders, but also that most valuable informa- 
 tion — how to improve your own methods of attack, and
 
 FOLLOW-Ur LETTERS 85 
 
 Gentlemen: 
 
 We know prices are low, 
 BUT 
 
 HAVE 
 YOU 
 
 SEEN 
 
 OURS? 
 
 Very truly yours, 
 
 A rathei' unusual sales letter. Its brevity leaves every- 
 thing to the imagination. But it is calculated to awaken inter- 
 est in, and a desire for the price list — and that is all that is 
 aimed at by the leter. To one who writes for the price list the 
 real sales letter would be written, in the natvire of a follow-up. 
 It has the merit of being an excellent means of discovering who 
 are "live prosj^ects."
 
 86 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 ho-w best to overcome the resistance that has, so far, 
 stood in the Avay of making a sale. 
 
 By far the greater number of orders received in 
 response to a sales letter do not disclose information of 
 this sort. Here and there, however, will be found a 
 hint. A correspondent will w^rite, perhaps: "If your 
 Telephone Arm will really serve two desks, as you say 
 it will, you may send me one." Here j^ou gain a lead 
 that shows you which one of the selling points impressed 
 that particular customer. Perhaps if you strengthen 
 this particular argument in your follow-ups, it will 
 impress others who overlooked it because it was not 
 sufficiently strong or explicit, or because you did not 
 expand sufficiently on this particular point. 
 
 This is illustrative of what may be done, and shows 
 what may be gathered here and there from replies that 
 will serve you as a sort of ammunition for use upon those 
 prospects who have to be followed up with additional 
 sales arguments. 
 
 But the chief function of the follow-up sales letter 
 lies in the fact that a very large number of prospects 
 fail to respond to the first sales letter through sheer 
 inertia. The letter itself may be all that it should be, 
 up to the point of actuallj' creating desire; but it stops 
 short, perhaps, of communicating to the prospect the 
 necessary .starting power which results in buying action. 
 This inertia on the part of the prospect has to be over- 
 come by subsequent letters that will prod him into 
 action. This means that the subject must be presented 
 in a different manner in each new letter sent. Funda- 
 mentally, such follow-up letters must hammer away at 
 the chief selling points, until the prospect gives free 
 rein to his desire and takes the necessaiy buying action. 
 Here is where the effectiveness of suggestive descrip-
 
 FOLLOW-UI' LETTERS 87 
 
 tion (discussed on pp. 18, 38, 39,) will prove itself.' 
 "While each letter in the sequence must be a complete 
 sales letter in itself, each one will be novel in form, 
 always using new phrasing when repeating anything 
 that has been said before. The goods offered may be 
 described in each letter by suggestive phrases of the 
 class illustrated on p. 39. 
 
 Along with the realization of the value of suggestive 
 description, it must always be borne in mind that there 
 is, for many persons, real suggestive power in mere 
 repetition — not, perhaps of words, but of ideas. Thus 
 the writer of sales letter should never feel discouraged 
 over those prospects who fail to respond lo one letter. 
 For it is certain that among those who do not respond 
 there are yet many who will do so if some force suffi- 
 cient to overcome their inertia can be injected into the 
 follow-up letter. "With some this is to be achieved by 
 repetition, with others by now arguments or new per- 
 suasion. The chances are all in favor of results if repe- 
 tition of ideas, clothed in new language, is skilfully 
 used. Hence the wisdom and even the necessity of fol- 
 low-ups to original sales letters. 
 
 2. FOLLOW-UPS TO INQUIRIES 
 
 Then there is the following up of an inquiry to which 
 you have replied, but which has not resulted in any 
 action on the part of the person sending in the original 
 inquiry. Great care should be taken in such letters to 
 avoid any appearance of complaining that your pros- 
 pect has not replied to your first letter. To recapitu- 
 late your correspondent's apparent shortcomings and 
 your own grievances by writing, for example: "You 
 
 wrote us for prices on and we replied on . 
 
 Again on we wrote you once more, repeating
 
 88 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 •our offer, and asking for a reply. So far you have 
 not seen fit to favor us with a reply," is the common 
 method of the unthinking letter-writer. But it is the 
 worst sort of policy, and does not accomplish its object. 
 It is not even calculated to induce your correspondent 
 to reply; and if it does bring an answer, that answer 
 is not likely to be an order. 
 
 If your reply to his original inquiry has brought no 
 results, if, in other words, he has failed to give you an 
 order although he made the first move, by inquiring 
 about your product, the fault may lie with you. The 
 chances are that your own reply may not have been a 
 suitable sales letter — it may have lacked some elements 
 that it needed, in order to induce him to buy. In any 
 case, he has apparently lost interest, and if you are 
 wise, you will carefully examine your own reply with 
 a view to finding out whether you fell short in your own 
 salesmanship. The fact that several days will have 
 elapsed since you wrote it will make it easier for you 
 to examine your own letter critically. It is more than 
 likely that you will find that you yourself are the 
 cause of your correspondent's failure to "come back." 
 Here is your opportunity, not only to detect some of 
 your own weaknesses in writing sales letters, but to 
 improve on your own technique there and then by writ- 
 ing such a follow-up letter as will actually turn your 
 indifferent prospect into a customer — or, at least, as 
 will make him reply to you. 
 
 One does, of course, encounter people who write 
 inquiries for the fun of the thing, with no real inter- 
 est in the goods they inquire about. Freakish cases 
 such as these constitute a certain percentage of the cor- 
 respondence of any business house. But it is a small 
 percentage, at most, and should not be allowed to have
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 89 
 
 No. 1 
 
 You would not, of course, have inquired about 
 our line of repulsion-induction motors unless you 
 had felt an interest in them. 
 
 Perhaps in our reply, we were at fault in not 
 showing you clearly enough that this type of 
 motor is physically interchangeable with our single- 
 phase motors of the split-phase design, as well as 
 with our direct-current motors of similar horse- 
 power, rating, and speed specifications. 
 
 You will readily appreciate the advantage 
 and the economy of this feature. It allows you to 
 equip your machines with motors to suit any local 
 power requirements, without any change whatever in 
 the standard dimensions of your machines. 
 
 Isn't this feature alone enough to commend 
 our line to you? 
 
 Samples will cheerfully be sent you for the 
 asking- -and without putting you under any obligation 
 whatever . 
 
 May we send them? 
 
 This letter, as well as Nos. 2 and 3 following, suggest the 
 kind of tone to use in following up an inquiry received from 
 a prospect who has failed to act on the reply sent to his inquiry.
 
 1)0 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 No. 2 
 
 The advantage of immediate delivery of 
 
 that we were able to offer you in reply to your 
 
 inquiry of ought not to escape your 
 
 interested attention. 
 
 It seems probable that our letter must have 
 failed to reach you, and so we are now sending you a 
 copy of it along with this. 
 
 The market is undoubtedly in for a continued 
 rise for some time to come, and you could not consult 
 your own interest better than by securing supplies 
 for which there is a big demand at present. They 
 may not be procurable at all, if you wait too long. 
 
 May we send you a shipment? 
 
 This is merely a suggestion for a follow-up where the 
 prospect made the first move by writing to inquire for prices, etc.
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 91 
 
 No. 3 
 
 Probably the holidays have interfered to pre- 
 vent your replying to our offer of 
 
 It has occurred to us, too, that possibly 
 the price we quoted may have seemed high to you. If 
 so, this is a good opportunity for us to point out 
 that when you are buying motors, the price you pay is 
 a very good index of the quality you are getting. 
 
 Then again, when you are in the market for 
 motors, it is not simply a question of equipping 
 yourself for a few weeks, but for years ahead. But if 
 you get cheap motors, you are not equipped for long 
 --trouble lies close ahead! 
 
 On the other hand, with the motors, 
 
 you are insured against breakdown, against weakness, 
 against interruption of service, for in buying them 
 you are buying service of a lasting sort. Our 
 guarantee is back of this. 
 
 If you see the matter from this angle, you will 
 recognize that our prices mean high quality- -which 
 can never be cheap. 
 
 We can give you immediate shipment. May we 
 have your order? 
 
 Another suggestion of how to write when attempting to revive 
 the interest of a prospect who has written an inquiry taut 
 seems to have lost interest.
 
 92 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 any effect on the studious care that ought to be exercised 
 in seeking to make your follow-up letter accomplish 
 what your reply-letter failed to do in the first instance. 
 
 There is an old saying that is distinctly applicable to 
 a case of this sort : "If 3"ou don't catch any fish, change 
 your bait." If your first letter (your reply to the pros- 
 pect's inquiry) does not elicit a response of some sort — 
 change your bait ! Perhaps your description was not of 
 the sort to interest him. Figure out one that is differ- 
 ent. It may turn the trick! Or, if you gave him a 
 really adequate description, in the first place, lay the 
 stress this time on how the goods will serve Mm person- 
 ally — on the advantage, the satisfaction, the labor-saving 
 or time-saving that lie will enjoy from their purchase 
 and use. In other words, you must dangle before him 
 some fresh bait. This time, it may be, it should consist 
 of more forceful persuasion, such as we have discussed 
 on pp. 55-60. 
 
 But as we said just above, don't write as if you had 
 a grievance on account of his failing to act on your first 
 letter. Let your follow-up open with the fullest friend- 
 liness, somewhat on the line of the example showTi on 
 the next page and of those on pp. 89-91, These are 
 offered, of course, merely as suggestions of the many 
 ways that are available for intimating, without directly 
 saying so, that you feel a reply of some sort is due 
 you. 
 
 3. ORIGINAL FOLLOW-UP CAMPAIGNS 
 
 But a regular series of follow-up letters that is planned 
 in advance as constituting a definite and complete series 
 in itself, is a very different matter. Here each letter 
 must dovetail with its predecessor, and play its indi-
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 93 
 
 In all probability you have frequently had 
 the experience of feeling that you had led your 
 prospect well along toward the point where you might 
 hope to consummate a sale, only to have something 
 occur which put a stop to the whole transaction. 
 
 In such cases you have no doubt felt that you 
 would very much like to know just what it was that 
 caused the hitch; how matters actually stood; what 
 the chance of eventually getting together really 
 was. 
 
 That is the way we feel about you . Our cor- 
 respondence of a few months ago indicated an 
 excellent possibility of doing business with you. 
 What caused you to lose interest we don't know. 
 Without any "beating around the bush," we should 
 like to ask, How about that order? 
 
 Won't you gratify us by writing us about it 
 TODAY? 
 
 Very truly yours, 
 
 P. S. We have just made up some dandy Art 
 Brass Desk Calendars. We have one for you if you 
 will tell us that you care to have it. 
 
 A follow-up sent by a manufacturer to a dealer. While it 
 does not offer any new sales arguments, and is, therefore, open 
 to criticism in this particular, it shrewdly utilizes, by way of 
 opening, an experience that the dealer has himself frequently 
 encountered, and therefore is certain to awaken interest in the 
 reader. Note, too, the manner in which the postscript is used 
 to induce the prospect to write again. If he will ask for the 
 calendar, he can hardly escape from replying to the question 
 in the letter itself.
 
 04 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 vidual part in the series as whole. While each letter 
 ill the series must be a sales letter, no one letter — 
 except it be possibly the last — will be complete in 
 itself, i. e., each one is a separate link in the chain 
 the information and the persuasion embodied in each. 
 
 The initial dil^cult}^ to be solved in this class of fol- 
 low-up letters is more serious and more important than 
 any that will arise in writing the individual letters 
 already discussed. It involves the intelligent determina- 
 tion of the number of letters that shall constitute the 
 chain and a decision regarding the part that each shall 
 play in working out the plan as a whole. If these pre- 
 liminary questions are met and decided with skill and 
 good judgment, the actual writing of the letters them- 
 selves may be said to be a detail of minor importance. 
 
 1. Number of Letters in a Series. — On what should be 
 the actual number of letters in the chain many persons 
 are to be found who entertain fixed ideas, and who will 
 declare with an assumption of authority that four, five, 
 six, or some other number is definitely the best. Despite 
 this apparent authority, however, it may be declared 
 Avith considerable assurance that no definite number can 
 "be theoretically prescribed as the standard for a series. 
 The circumstances and purpose involved in each case, 
 the nature of the article to be sold and its cost, the extent 
 to which the prospects are likely to need education on 
 the subject, and especially the question of how much 
 of this should be embodied in each letter, are conditions 
 that vary with each ease and necessitate a decision to 
 fit each case. Two letters might be all that would be 
 justified in a campaign to sell cheap novelties, while a 
 dozen probably would prove scarcely sufficient in a colon- 
 ization project involving the sale and reclamation of land 
 in a remote locality.
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 95 
 
 It's up to you! 
 
 Instead of that gang of engineers wearing 
 out the back of their heels and my furniture, they 
 are showing greater wear and tear on the bottom of 
 their shoe soles. 
 
 At the same time that I wrote you, I also 
 sent out a similar S. 0. S. to some other manu- 
 facturers. 
 
 Almost every one of them wrote or wired for 
 one of the boys, and they have been hot-footing it 
 ever since. And from all the reports I received 
 from establishments where they called, they have 
 proved of the greatest value to those who sent for 
 them. 
 
 As I don't want them hanging around this 
 office on their return, I am wondering if you are 
 now ready for them to drop in and go over your 
 blue prints with you. 
 
 They won't sell you- -they don't know how, 
 and they won't try- -but they will help you, as they 
 know the foundry game from A to Z, and they may 
 have some suggestions for cutting down your costs. 
 
 You won't be obliged to me--it will be just 
 the reverse, I assure you. 
 
 Shall I send you one of them? , 
 
 For whom shall he ask? 
 
 Appreciatively yours, 
 
 A second letter in a follow-up series. This letter was signed 
 by the president of the concern, and was sent to the executive 
 in charge of the department that it was desired to reach. It 
 is a good example of a good will builder, while being also a 
 fine illustration of a sales letter designed to sell service, which 
 later on brings business. Note also the subtle idea involved 
 in the blanks, which implies the expectation of a reply on the 
 letter sheet itself.
 
 96 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Underwear doesn't lie, or misrepresent 
 itself. 
 
 Suppose we put some of our special brand of 
 _underwear in your hands, without expense to 
 
 you, for examination. You understand underwear, 
 and you can't be fooled if you examine it yourself. 
 
 You will see that it is the best quality in 
 each different weight that you ever sold- -and you 
 can make a profit of at least 60 per cent on it. 
 
 How would you like to learn the details of our 
 proposition? 
 
 Don't bother to write us a letter. Just write 
 across this one: "I am interested." Then put it in 
 the enclosed envelope and mail it today. We'll 
 do the rest. 
 
 An example of the first letter in a series of follow-ups. If 
 it fails to elicit a reply, a couple of letters can then be sent 
 describing- the goods, another one setting- forth the proposi- 
 tion on which they are offered, a fourth on the profits obtain- 
 able, the last one in the series being the "clincher," designed 
 to force action. The merit of this letter lies in the consideration 
 of the subject from the point of -view of the prospect alone.
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 97 
 
 For a follow-up campaign involving more than two 
 or three letters a serious and comprehensive study is 
 necessary of the subject itself and of the prospective 
 purchasers. Let us suppose, for example, that a col- 
 onization scheme is about to be undertaken among. 
 American farmers, involving the idea of selling them 
 land in the Canadian Northwest, and of arranging for 
 their migration and settlement there. Preliminary 
 work would involve a classification of the individuals 
 to be written to, in accordance w^ith. the prices prevail- 
 ing in their several localities for agricultural land and 
 a comparison of those prices with the prices involved 
 in the project itself. It would involve, further, details 
 more or less specific, of the agricultural possibilities of 
 the land to be sold, showing what crops were suitable, 
 the crop yield, etc. ; details of markets available, and 
 prices prevailing there for produce ; figures on rainfall, 
 sunshine, and temperatures; particulars regarding 
 neighborhood communities, etc., and a multitude of 
 other details which would appeal to farmers. The ques- 
 tion of how many letters should constitute such a series 
 is one to be determined by assembling all the informa- 
 tion intended to be conveyed to the prospects and by 
 dividing it off into "balanced rations," such as would 
 serve with each letter to whet the appetite for more, 
 and make a consecutively interesting story out of the 
 whole — a gradually culminating educative course, as it 
 were. Nevertheless, each letter in such a series should 
 invite action by the prospect. Although the series is; 
 cumulative, each letter in the series should be a complete 
 sales letter, urging the prospect to buy. And each such 
 campaign must be planned on the theorv^ that a certain 
 number of the prospects written to will buy after the 
 first, after the second, and after each subsequent letter
 
 98 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 in the series. If they don't, your whole plan probably 
 had something wrong about it. 
 
 On the other hand, an attempt to introduce a new 
 brand of soap to the market would probably be limited 
 to two or at most three letters, culminating possibly in 
 the offer of a premium or other inducement for 
 patronizing the neighborhood grocer with an introduc- 
 tory order. 
 
 Thus the question of the number of letters to be 
 relied on resolves itself into a determination of how much 
 educational work must be done, and the extent to which 
 each individual letter in the series shall contribute to it. 
 The final letter in the series must be the one with the 
 strongest selling appeal, since it is the "last chance" 
 to influence the prospect. But its appeal will differ 
 only in degree from those that have preceded it. 
 
 2. Time Between Letters. — The question of the time 
 between the letters is an important one, and the answer 
 to this depends again a good deal on the class of prospect 
 involved and the nature of the article offered. In a gen- 
 eral way, it may be said tljat when educative work is 
 involved, as in the land colonization scheme just men- 
 tioned, ten days' interval between letters is none too 
 long. But where the appeal is made to the bargain 
 instinct, or to the gratification of vanity, taste, etc., two 
 or three days is a wiser interval. But in every case 
 care must be taken to give to the prospect time to reply 
 before the next letter in the series is dispatched. Since 
 no risk ought ever to be taken that a follow-up letter 
 may cross a reply to an earlier one in the series, allow- 
 ance must be made for the distance the letter has to 
 travel as well as for the presumable habits of the pros- 
 pect in respect to correspondence. This may, of course, 
 necessitate the application of a different time rule to
 
 FOLLOW-UP LLTTERS 99 
 
 My good-natured, hard-working partner, Hill 
 Igelback, just told me this: 
 
 "Ed, there's several hundred good folks we've 
 never met in this neighborhood who own motor cars-- 
 they've never honored us with their patronage. I 
 wonder why? We tried hard to make a friend of every- 
 one with whom we came in contact. Perhaps they are 
 not familiar with our service." 
 
 Frankly, it rather puzzled me, so I said: 
 "Hill, if you're willing, I'll write a letter to 
 everyone that the list shows we haven't met, and tell 
 them just what we're trying to accomplish." 
 
 So here it is. 
 
 You're getting battery service at some time, 
 somewhere, aren't you? Is it satisfactory? Does 
 the battery man really appreciate your patronage? 
 Does he show you the little courtesies that make you 
 feel he's sincerely interested in you and your car? 
 
 Hill and myself are ambitious fellows. We're 
 trying hard to carve a place for ourselves in the 
 business world. We want to be right here for years to 
 come, and we'd like to meet you now. 
 
 We want you to feel that our interest doesn't 
 center around your pocket-book. It's a fact that 
 "he who serves best profits most in the long run." 
 
 Won't you stop in today? We'll bear acquaint- 
 ance. You'll find a warmth of feeling and a spirit 
 of sincere service that most folks say is unusual 
 in the motor car game. 
 
 Sincerely yours, 
 
 P. S. Your Willard, Vesta, Presto, any bat- 
 tery that you have- -drop in with it- -our free 
 inspection service will better its performance 
 for you. 
 
 A type of friendly "starter," or opening letter in a follow-up 
 series which was planned in a campaign to attract patronage 
 in a motor-car battery service. Its conversational and per- 
 suasive tone is worth noting.
 
 100 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 different sections canvassed, and especially to the habits 
 of the class of prospects written to ; and the plan of cam 
 paign must arrange for giving to this detail full con- 
 sideration. 
 
 3. Wlicn Printed Blatter Is Enclosed. — Extensive fol- 
 low-up campaigns will often involve sending printed 
 matter with some or all of the letters in the series. The 
 printed matter may be general in its nature, such as a 
 stock circular ; or there may be a series of printed docu- 
 ments, prepared to accompany the letters of the series, 
 and describing the different features of the proposition. 
 It is then a question of the relation that the letters in 
 the series should bear to the printed matter, and what 
 part each should play in carrying the sales argument to 
 the prospect. 
 
 The general rule to be followed is that the printed 
 matter should contain all the information, the details, 
 the facts, the description. The letters should address 
 themselves to persuasiA'e argument, seeking to interest 
 the prospect in the information which is to be derived 
 from the accompanying document. It is through the 
 latter that the actual proposal should reach the conscious- 
 ness of the prospect. The main idea — at least in the 
 early letters of the series — must be to get the prospect 
 interested so that he will be willing to turn to the docu- 
 ments to obtain the details of the sales proposal. If the 
 printed matter is properly prepared, it will contain 
 material calculated to interest him still further, namely, 
 the sales offer or proposal itself, set forth in full detail 
 and in attractive form. 
 
 The chief object of the letter, then, is to induce the 
 reading of the accompanying document. The letter 
 has its function in starting the interest which the docu- 
 ment will be designed to intensify through description
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 101 
 
 and persuasion. If the letter should go into the details 
 of the proposal, covering much the same ground as does 
 the document, the printed matter itself will get scant 
 attention. 
 
 This must not be taken to imply that it will be suffi- 
 cient for the letter to urge the prospect, in dull and 
 uninteresting language, to "examine the enclosed circu- 
 lar, which will give all necessary information." Such 
 vagueness will neither interest nor lead to the desired 
 action. Language of this sort repels rather than attracts. 
 There must be some sort of relation between the letter 
 and the printed matter. In other words, the letter must 
 "sell" the idea of reading the printed matter. 
 
 If, for example, the campaign is one designed to sell 
 land to farmers on a colonization plan, the voluminous 
 information that must be given would be more effective 
 if presented in printed form, and can be gone into with 
 much greater detail than is desirable in letters. The 
 successive letters in the series would seek to awaken 
 interest in the printed data, as well as in the project 
 itself. An example of how this may be done is given 
 on p. 102, This, you will notice, is apparently not a com- 
 plete sales letter, in that it does not seek to induce the 
 prospect to buy offhand. Its object is, rather, to induce 
 him to inquire — to show his interest in some affirmative 
 way. The proposition is too big to justify the expecta- 
 tion of selling the prospect at once. Nevertheless, the 
 example given is a sales letter in the sense that it seeks 
 to sell the idea. If the prospect can be induced to reply 
 — and he probably will not do this unless he reads the 
 data in the printed matter — he is already half sold. He 
 can then be followed up with letters and information 
 calculated to meet his own particular case, and of a more 
 personal sort than it would be possible to make of the
 
 102 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Do you realize that your investment in Illi- 
 nois land at :$200 to ^250 per acre is a burden-- 
 something of a liability? 
 
 A farm of from 100 to 300 acres represents at 
 these prices a capital of from ^20,000 to ^75,000. 
 If this were converted into cash, it would earn you 
 at least 6 per cent without labor or effort. Thus 
 your farm should yield you 6 per cent on its invest- 
 ment value, plus a reasonable additional return for 
 the risk of crop failure, plus what your time and 
 effort and management are worth. 
 
 Do you get this much? 
 
 Perhaps you have never thought of it in this 
 way? 
 
 Now suppose you were able to purchase land just 
 as fertile as your present land, and at ^200 less per 
 acre, and just as close to the railroad and to market. 
 Do you realize that you could earn the same returns 
 on one- third the capital that you now have invested? 
 
 If a proposition of this sort sounds good to 
 you, look into it a little further, by reading the 
 
 enclosed statement of the colonization plans. 
 
 It won't cost you a cent to read about it, but it will 
 show you that you really can do what we have hinted 
 at. You will find there lots of facts to show you 
 that you can make as good a living as you do now, and 
 with far less capital tied up. 
 
 Tonight, when you get home, and after you 
 have read the printed sheet, just write across this 
 letter: "I am interested," and send it to us. We 
 will show you how you can investigate for yourself, 
 without any expense whatever. 
 
 Do it tonight!
 
 FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 103 
 
 rest of the series itself, which is planned for those who 
 have not yet replied. 
 
 A good rule to observe when addressing a sales letter 
 to business men is to avoid mailing it at such a time as 
 will result in its being delivered on a Saturday or on a 
 Monday. The former is usually a half-day, devoted to 
 clearing up the deferred accumulations of the week, 
 and the latter usually brings with it a large access of 
 new business which absorbs the mind and makes it 
 decidedly unreeeptive to most sales propositions. In 
 any case, a sales letter has a better chance of attentive 
 consideration on the other days of the week. 
 
 As a final piece of advice, you are urged to practice, 
 and to keep on practicing the principles that we have 
 discussed as applicable to sales letters of every sort. 
 It is comparatively easy to master the rules appli- 
 cable to sales and business letters generally, so as to 
 laiow them well in theory. The difficulty comes when 
 one first tries to put them into practice. 
 
 You have been urged, for instance, to eliminate the 
 "we" phrases and to substitute the use of "you" sen- 
 tences. Try this when next you sit down to dictate. It 
 will not come as easily as you may expect after reading 
 about it. To break away from the old vapid, flat forms 
 of expression that you have been accustomed to use in 
 dictation and in writing, and to make your communica- 
 tions over into real sales talks is no easy matter at first, 
 even as it is no easy matter to break away from any 
 established habit. If it were as simple as it seems, there 
 would not be much justification for writing about it at 
 length. 
 
 Experience will show you, as was stated in Chapter II, 
 that it is necessary, day after day, to refer back to the 
 principles underlying successful work, and day after
 
 104 BETTJ3R BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 day to fight the temptation to fall back on the old phrases 
 and the old style of letters. But this is what others have 
 gone through, and so must you. Keep this book on your 
 desk ; refer to it as you prepare to dictate ; get hold of a 
 principle so completely that you can work with it. Your 
 letters will soon begin to pull — and the improved results 
 will be a joy to you, and a stimulus to do better still next 
 time.
 
 CHAPTER Y 
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 
 
 So far, we have giveu our attention to a discussion of 
 the sales letter in its various forms. We have yet to 
 consider the collection letter. 
 
 This differs from the former in that, while the sales 
 letter seeks to persuade a man to buy something from 
 you, the collection letter seeks to induce him to give up 
 something to y(^u. Fundamentally each necessitates the 
 exercise of the same qualities of salesmanship. The prin- 
 ciples enumerated in Chapter I are as applicable to one 
 class of letter as to the other. That is to say, the collec- 
 tion letter, notwithstanding that it embodies a request 
 for money, must endeavor to excite interest, to awaken 
 a wish to settle the debt, to bring about a decision to 
 remit — and to induce the action itself. Technically, 
 therefore, the collection letter must "sell" its subject 
 to the debtor, in bringing him to a lively recognition of 
 the creditor's rights, and in inducing him to act on that 
 recognition. 
 
 Again, as with the sales letter, the collection letter 
 should display the dominant tone of what we have 
 termed the "written conversation." It is as necessary 
 to impress a collection letter with the personality of the 
 writer as it Avas shoA\Ti to be in the case of the sales 
 letter. The " we " element must likewise be subordinated 
 to the "you" element, and the same considerateness 
 
 105
 
 lOG BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Have you overlooked our account of $ t 
 
 a statement of which was sent you in September and 
 October? 
 
 Probably you have. 
 
 Will you let this be a reminder that it is 
 now a month overdue, and let us have a remittance, 
 please? 
 
 An example of a friendly first dun in the form of an inquiry. 
 This can never give offense, and is likely, by its frank friendli- 
 ness, to evoke a response — probably of explanation, which is 
 exactly what is desired.
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 107 
 
 toward the customer's interest and toward his i)oint of 
 view is necessary here as before. 
 
 The important dilference to be emphasized is, as was 
 intimated above, that here you are demanding some- 
 thing- of your correspondent as a matter of right — some- 
 thing which is justly due you — but which is withheld 
 from you. This is your new relation to him — you are 
 his creditor, and he is the delinquent. The skill of the 
 collection letter-writer lies in the method by which he 
 expresses this relationship in pressing his demands. 
 How this should be determined upon we are now to 
 consider. 
 
 The dominant thought to be borne in mind in plan- 
 ning the framework of this type of letter is that one 
 appeal to the debtor may possibly not produce results. 
 He may have to be pursued with increasing pressure 
 until the last step, i.e., the threat of legal proceedings, 
 is reached. One has, therefore, to have in mind a gradu- 
 ated series of appeal, pressure, demand, and threat, and 
 each successive letter to the same debtor must be planned 
 as one in a progressive series. The question of how 
 many letters should be planned for the series is always 
 a troublesome one, and its answer has been found to 
 depend very materially on the nature of the creditor's 
 business and the class of his customers. A house selling 
 furniture on instalments, for example, has a class of 
 customers very different from those who patronize the 
 wholesale dry goods dealer. The i)urchascr of furniture 
 on instalment is scarcely regarded as a customer whose 
 future trade can be counted on, and who, in a sense, may 
 be said to form a part of the established trade of the 
 concern; while the merchant who purchases his stock 
 from the wholesaler may reasonably be considered a 
 steady and permanent customer whose requirements are
 
 108 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 to be counted on as having to be met at stated seasons in 
 the course of each j-ear. Between these two classes lies 
 a wide gradation of customers w^ho are, of course, sus- 
 ceptible of classification, but who, even if divided into 
 classes, will still require different individual treatment, 
 in case of delinquency. 
 
 In the case of the "casual" customer who is delin- 
 quent, one or perhaps two collection demands may be 
 considered enough, as a rule, and the severity of each 
 successive demand may be regulated by this considera- 
 tion. 
 
 The steady, permanent customer w^ho unexpectedly 
 falls behind in meeting his regular bills is in another 
 class entirely. 
 
 Nevertheless, letters intended for either class must 
 embody a iew identical principles. These are: 
 
 1. The first demand for payment of an overdue 
 account should be regarded as an attempt to reach a 
 mutual understanding — embodying the old idea that the 
 letter is, as far as it is possible to make it so, a sort of 
 written conversation. If you met your debtor face to 
 face, instead of writing to him, you would first seek to 
 find out ivliy he had not paid, and you would endeavor 
 to reach some ground of mutual understanding in as 
 pleasant a manner as possible. This tone should 
 dominate every first letter, when no such understanding 
 exists already. 
 
 2. In order to reach such an understanding, the 
 debtor should be asked in appropriate language, what 
 are the special causes of his delinquency, and what his 
 present circumstances are (see sample letter shown on 
 p. 109.) If this is done delicately, perhaps with sympa- 
 thy,, perhaps humorously, it is likely to induce frank- 
 ness in his reply, if not a hurried remittance — if from no
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 109 
 
 If we were to step into your office today, 
 should we be welcome? Should we have the pleasure 
 of a hearty handshake, a smile, and a pleasant 
 "how-do-you-do?" We like to think we should, at 
 any rate. 
 
 Nevertheless our statement of your account 
 that we have sent you twice already has received no 
 kindly notice from you--in fact, none at all. 
 
 We should like our letters to receive the same 
 attention from you that we should hope to receive 
 ourselves, if we were to step into your office. In 
 other words, this is a plea for recognition. 
 
 We should like to ask that you sit down and 
 write to us about it, before your name comes back to 
 our mind. You need not mention your account unless 
 you want to. But, to be frank, we really should like 
 to have a few friendly lines, telling us how you are 
 situated. May we? 
 
 An example of the friendly letter, which seeks to elicit 
 information on which to judge of future procedure. It may 
 seem to have too much of the "we" element, but it serves to 
 impress the reader with the friendliness of the creditor concern.
 
 110 UETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 other motive than to preserve the good will you show 
 you entertain for him, and perhaps also in order to 
 show that he needs neither sympathy nor special 
 consideration. 
 
 3. Accommodation of the customer — "service" — 
 should be as much the stock in trade of the wise and 
 far-seeing merchant as is his actual stock of goods. This 
 word "service" can be made as comprehensive as the 
 individual business man wishes to make it. But it is 
 elementary to regard it as covering the giving of satis- 
 faction to the customer — and keeping him satisfied. 
 Therefore it is the part of wdsdom so to frame the first 
 letter in pursuing a delinquent debtor as to find out 
 whether he has any grounds of complaint, whether he 
 needs accommodation, whether he has noted, indeed, that 
 his account is overdue, and, generally, what are the cir- 
 cumstances surrounding his case. 
 
 Thus the first letter will usually be in the nature of a 
 ' ' feeler, ' ' which will probably elicit — ^affirmatively, by a 
 reply, or negatively, by his silence — some idea regarding 
 the delinquent, on which the next step may be based. 
 Under ordinary circumstances it will be found extremely 
 wise to frame the first letter on these principles. 
 As was hinted just above, the customer's point of 
 view is the important thing; and a shrewd appraisal of 
 his side of the case will furnish the necessary equipment 
 for a decision as to the tone of such subsequent letters 
 as may be necessary. This may often be easily 
 obtained by making the last paragraph in the letter 
 consist of a friendly inquiry about the condition of the 
 customer's business, a cordial intimation that his patron- 
 age is valued, and perhaps even an interesting reference 
 to a new line of goods which you tell him you would like 
 him to have, and in which you think he w^ill be interested.
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 111 
 
 Cordiality is an element that at this stage should never 
 be absent from the letter. 
 
 The "first letter" idea is, after all, merely common 
 sense, as well as good business. Harshness shown to the 
 wrong individual or at the wrong time is poor business 
 indeed, and the first letter of which we have spoken tends 
 to procure information on which to judge intelligently. 
 And it should be borne in mind that the country mer- 
 chant, particularly, is not especially well grounded in 
 business, and if he is slow pay, this is no indication of 
 dishonesty but more probably of slow collections at his 
 end. A harsh collection letter will alienate him, 
 although you may have already spent time and money 
 in sending salesmen to get his trade in the first instance. 
 
 The best safeguard against a false step at the outset 
 in a situation of this kind is, once again, to visualize 
 yourself as talking to your debtor, and to let your letters 
 be the outcome of such a visualization. Your decision 
 and your language will be more nearly you. 
 
 If subsequent letters are necessary, they will fall 
 somewhere between the extremes of the classes which, 
 we have illustrated above by the reference to the cus- 
 tomer of the furniture instalment house and the cus- 
 tomer of the wholesale dry goods house. 
 
 1. Commercial Accounis. — For our present purposes 
 this term may be taken to cover all ordinary business 
 indebtedness, as distinguished from "retail" indebt- 
 edness" and from that incurred on the "instalment 
 basis. " It is in dealing with this class that the elements 
 of salesmanship really come into play. 
 
 Here the customer is, presumably, a regular one — a 
 merchant or dealer — and he is to be regarded as a part 
 of the assets of your business. To preserve his good 
 will, therefore, while reminding him of his obligation to
 
 112 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 you, should be the controlling idea. On the other hand, 
 you are asking nothing of him but what it is your right to 
 have. And the preservation of the delicate balance 
 between your rights, on the one hand, and, on the other, 
 the customer's good will, perhaps also his very ability 
 to survive in business, is a difficult proceeding, depend- 
 ing so greatly on circumstances that it calls for the 
 exercise of even greater skill than is involved in selling. 
 This will serve to emphasize the need of the "point of 
 contact" element, founded on a knowledge of the facts 
 in each case. 
 
 Although you are demanding what is due you, it will 
 never pay to base your demand on the ground that you 
 need the money or that you will be inconvenienced for 
 want of it. Your customer has had value received when 
 he incurred the debt, and the sole ground for you to 
 take is that it is justly due. If you lower your attitude 
 to pleading for the money, you put yourself on your 
 debtor's level, for he very likely needs the money too, 
 or he would not be in arrears ! Self-interest will prompt 
 him to erect an excuse out of such a situation by tacitly 
 determining that of the two he is the one who needs it 
 more! 
 
 If you stand on your rights, if you refuse to lower 
 your dignity by appealing, if you so frame your demand 
 that your customer is made to feel that you are not 
 bluffing but you mean exactly what you say, there 
 is nevertheless room for showing a cordial interest in his 
 affairs, for evincing a consideration for his difficulties 
 or his temporary embarrassment, that will leave his good 
 will unimpaired. It is important to bear in mind your- 
 self, and to let your customer feel, that the mere fact 
 that he has fallen behind in his payments is not of itself 
 any reason for forfeiting your consideration.
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 113 
 
 Surely you know that your failure to pay your 
 account, now overdue, works a hardship on us, and 
 seriously impairs your own credit. We cannot afford 
 to do business with you on this sort of basis, and 
 without a more scrupulous regard on your part for 
 your obligations. We must insist on a remittance by 
 return mail, as a failure on your part to settle will 
 embarrass us greatly. 
 
 A good example of what NOT to write at any stage of attempt- 
 ing to collect. Notice the unwise claim that the creditor "needs 
 the money." This is a common tone of collection letters, but 
 should be carefully avoided.
 
 Ill BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Before resort is had to dunning letters, it is of course 
 desirable to effect a settlement in the usual manner, if 
 possible. The sending of statements is, naturally, the 
 first step ; when this has failed to bring a remittance in 
 ordinary course, the question becomes a serious one: 
 Shall we dun him or not ? Frequently one is forced to 
 the conclusion that a "dunning" collection letter must 
 be sent. There is always one more effort that can be 
 made, intermediate between the regular statement and 
 the dunning letter. This is a rubber stamp or other 
 endorsement to the effect that the account is past due, 
 and that a remittance is requested. The use of a rubber 
 stamp for this purpose makes the request more imper- 
 sonal, and therefore less likely to irritate! 
 
 Analogous to the rubber stamp — perhaps, even, on 
 account of its humorous element — is the affixing of a 
 gummed sticker to the statement, of the nature of the 
 
 accompanying illustration. Its object is at once under- 
 stood by the delinquent customer — and he is frequently 
 induced to take the hint and to act on it because of the 
 entire absence of the element of a formal dun. 
 
 Some firms find that it pays to enclose with their 
 monthly statement (after it has been sent once or twice 
 without any payment being made) a printed slip read- 
 ing somewhat after this fashion:
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 115 
 
 IMPORTANT 
 
 Our terms are thirty days net. We must ask a 
 strict observance of these terms, and payment of our 
 account when due, according to these terms. 
 
 At any rate, some step of this kind is worth taking 
 before the serious step of writing real collection letters 
 is resorted to. 
 
 Most large wholesale or jobbing houses with a long list 
 of customers are compelled to resort to form letters in 
 effecting collection of overdue accounts. A series of, 
 say, four or as many as six letters is prepared with care 
 and after much experiment, Avhich will, as nearly as 
 possible, be adaptable to every case alike. By "form 
 letter" is not meant the use of blank letters previously 
 written or multigraphed by the score and filled in as 
 each case arises. But as a time saver, a standard or 
 "master" letter can be prepared for each step in the 
 progress of deferred collections, which is copied for use 
 as each case arises. This practice has the disadvantage 
 of lacking the personal element, which is here a most 
 effective means of bringing about results. In large 
 establishments, however, it is frequently impossible to 
 follow any but this routine method. 
 
 If the use of form letters can be avoided, it permits 
 a free departure from routine, and the adoption of a 
 special course of action for each special case. The series 
 of four illustrative letters given on pp. 116-19 preserves 
 the personal element in the first, and shows the gradation 
 from cordial considcrateness to the final stern demand. 
 The letters are, of course, framed on the assumption that 
 the debtor makes no reply to either. Each letter is 
 designed to elicit a reply, and each is calculated, by its 
 gradually increasing remoteness of tone, to have its
 
 116 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 No. 1 
 
 Your previous regularity in caring for your 
 account with us as it fell due leaves no doubt in our 
 mind that you have a perfectly good explanation for 
 
 overlooking the current account for $ which 
 
 is now a little past due. Will you allow this to 
 serve as a reminder of the fact, and be good enough 
 to send us a check to cover the amount. 
 
 We are expecting shortly a new and very 
 
 attractive line of in which you will 
 
 assuredly be interested. It should be the very thing 
 for your trade, and will afford an opportunity for 
 opening a very profitable line, which will be 
 
 readily salable. Our Mr. will shortly 
 
 submit samples to you, and we hope your opinion 
 will agree with ours. 
 
 In the meantime, how about sending you some 
 
 more 
 
 9 
 
 With cordial good wishes, we are 
 Yours very truly, 
 
 This sort of cordiality, accompanying an incidental reference 
 to the overdue account, will usually induce a merely careless 
 customer to reciprocate, at least by sending- a partial remit- 
 tance in an effort to "save his face." It leaves the relations 
 between the parties unimpaired. And, further, any sort of 
 reply elicited by such a letter furnishes a basis on which to 
 determine what further steps shall be taken.
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 117 
 
 No. 2 
 
 You know, of course, that your account is 
 now considerably overdue. This is a little sur- 
 prising, in view of the reminder which we sent you 
 on 
 
 If there is any reason for this that you think 
 we ought to know, why not be frank and tell us 
 about it? You have our assurance that it will be 
 given consideration. 
 
 Your reply will be awaited with interest. 
 
 This letter is suitable in the case of a customer whose account 
 is still regarded as desirable. It leaves the door open for a 
 resumption of the former pleasant relations. With customers 
 who are not regarded as valuable, it may be omitted fr.om the 
 series altogether.
 
 il8 1>ETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 No. 3 
 
 Since you have failed to reply to either of 
 our previous communications, calling your attention 
 to your past-due account, we are forced to the con- 
 clusion that your failure to send us a remittance is 
 not due to an oversight. 
 
 We must now insist that you pay the amount 
 due {$ ) by . 
 
 At this stage, conciliation and salesmanship are worthless. 
 The customer who ignores previous letters is undesirable as a 
 future prospect, and the collection of his account is all that 
 the house is interested in.
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 11{) 
 
 No. 4 
 
 Your account for S is, as you know, 
 
 long past due. You have not only offered us no 
 explanation for this delay in effecting a settle- 
 ment, but have ignored our three previous com- 
 munications on the subject. 
 
 Unless we receive a remittance by_ 
 
 we shall take steps to effect its collection by legal 
 process, without further notice to you. 
 
 (Note. — The words "return mail" may be considered 
 appropriate for insertion in the blank, in some cases.) 
 
 At this point no re(iourse remains taut to convey the stern 
 threat of enforced collection. The customer is entitled to no 
 further consideration, and the creditor shows this in his tone 
 and language.
 
 120 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 effect on the various classes of customers that can be 
 influenced, some by the withdrawal of one's regard, 
 some by veiled threats, some by open threats. 
 
 2. Instalment Collectimis. — Assuming that, on a 
 knowledge of the circumstances derived from sending 
 a first letter of the kind just described, it is decided 
 that the instalment debtor's case is to be treated accord- 
 ing to routine, one, or perhaps two collection letters will 
 be all that is customary before proceeding to regain 
 possession of the goods (if this is provided for by the 
 terms of sale), or to institute proceedings. What will 
 then be actually the second letter in the series will 
 remind the debtor of the friendly advance made in the 
 first and will stress the fact that he has given no reason 
 for his failure to remit the overdue payments. Insist- 
 ence shovild follow, demanding a remittance by a defi- 
 nite date, with the added statement that the account 
 will not be permitted to remain open after that date. 
 This implied threat, which still leaves the door open, 
 will have its effect in bringing many a slow debtor to 
 time. This class of collection, having usually the secur- 
 ity behind it of the right to recover the goods in case 
 of default, requires less diplomacy, and results are more 
 quickly attained, than in the case of the ordinary com- 
 mercial account or of the unsecured debt. 
 
 3. Retail Accounts. — With the retail merchant, collec- 
 tions are on a somewhat different footing. jNIany of his 
 customers are unfamiliar with the rigid promptness with 
 which business men in general meet their obligations. 
 Many of them, especially women, are often inclined to 
 think that a delay of a few weeks is of no consequence, 
 and with some — fortunately very few — the receipt of a 
 reminder is regarded as in the nature of an insult. 
 
 Furthermore, the retailer is generally more reluctant
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 121 
 
 Your agreement to pay $ per month for 
 
 the series of volumes constituting the 
 
 series of has not been kept, and for some 
 
 reason our previous letter to you on the subject has 
 not been replied to. 
 
 We understand, of course, that making small 
 remittances is an annoying thing, and that it is 
 natural to put it off from time to time. You have, 
 however, received the full set of volumes, and we 
 have felt full confidence in your good intentions. 
 
 As you can readily understand, your account, 
 along with thousands of others, represents a serious 
 matter of business with us, and we are obliged to 
 insist on prompt payments from our patrons, to the 
 extent, even, of taking all necessary measures to 
 compel payment. 
 
 Before we take any such steps, however, we 
 are willing to make it worth your while to pay up all 
 arrears and the balance of the account as well. If 
 you will do this, we will send you a handsome map of 
 Europe, showing the newly adjusted boundary lines of 
 the nations, as settled by the Peace Conference. 
 This is a valuable map and is well worth one of the 
 instalments due on your contract. 
 
 If you wish to avail yourself of this offer, 
 it will be necessary to act immediately, otherwise 
 we shall assume that it is up to us to proceed to 
 collect from you what is due us. 
 
 Simply sign the accompanying order, enclose 
 the amount necessary to close your 
 
 account, and mail at once. 
 
 Example of a case where instalments are small, and legal 
 process proportionately expensive. To offer an inducement to 
 settle in full is cheaper. The letter conveys the necessary threat 
 in a form which usually induces a settlement. The wi.sdom of 
 such an offer is questionable — but it is one that is sometimes 
 made in order to save expense of collection.
 
 122 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 than is the jobber or wholesakn' to class a customer as 
 undesirable, to the extent of being indifferent as to 
 whether or not his collection efforts will give offense. 
 He is generally much more inclined to leniency and to 
 the subordination of his rights for the time being to the 
 effort to retain the delinquent customer's good will. 
 Accordingly most retailers would feel that the types of 
 collection letters illustrated for wholesalers and jobbers 
 are unsuited to this class of customers. With some rea- 
 son, therefore, the tone of collection letters for the ordi- 
 nary retail business differs somewhat from what has been 
 discussed above. 
 
 The term "retailer" is a comprehensive one, of 
 course, and includes the great department stores as well 
 as the small store whose trade consists mostly of cash 
 customers. There is, of course, a wide difference between 
 the elaborate provision made by the former to win and 
 retain the good will of customers and the indifference 
 displayed to these features by the smaller outlying store. 
 Notwithstanding these wide differences, the principle 
 governing the frame and form of the collection letter 
 in the retail trade may be considered to be that the reten- 
 tion of the good will of the customer is more important 
 than the strict enforcement of prompt payment. The 
 ordinary customers in the retail stores who buy on credit 
 may usually be classed as follows: (1) those who are 
 slow but sure pay, including the very wealthy as well as 
 those with no financial, but high moral responsibility; 
 (2) those who have every intention of paying, but who 
 have met with temporary misfortune ; (3) those who have 
 no intention of paying until forced to do so. Here, then, 
 much more than with mercantile debtors, the moral 
 character, the social standing, and the financial strength 
 of the debtors will have weight in determining the pro-
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 123 
 
 cedure and the tone of the letters used in seeking to 
 effect collections. 
 
 In this branch of business bills are ordinarily ren- 
 dered once a month, and, in the ordinary course, settle- 
 ment of the bill is expected monthly. Although, as 
 already stated, rigid promptness is sometimes not to be 
 insisted on, experience has shown that the longer a delin- 
 quent customer is allowed to go without a reminder or 
 other, stronger, suggestion that payment is expected, 
 the more indifferent he becomes, and the harder it is to 
 collect from him. 
 
 Balancing this fact against any desire that may be 
 felt to placate the customer and to retain his good will, 
 the first step that may well be taken after the bill 
 becomes delinquent is to send a reminder that is purely 
 impersonal, and which, from its nature, is made to 
 appear as a part of the regular routine. This is com- 
 monly accomplished by means of a rubber stamp notice 
 affixed to the regular monthly statement, reading after 
 this manner: ''This account is Past Due. Please 
 remit." The rubber stamp is preferable to a written or 
 typewritten endorsement, as being more impersonal and 
 as least likely to create irritation at this stage. 
 
 If this fails, it may be deemed desirable to make use 
 of the personal collector, who calls at the office or at the 
 home with more or less diplomacy. With this method 
 we are not concerned. 
 
 The second step by mail should usually be as dignified 
 as the first, but has a little more of the personal element 
 about it. It still assumes that the failure to pa.y is merely 
 a case of forgetfulness, and this fiction dictates the spirit 
 of the reminder. This step involves attaching to the 
 statement of account a printed or multigraphed blank 
 form, substantially as follows:
 
 124 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Permit us to call your attention to the 
 
 attached account of | for the month of 
 
 which has doubtless escaped your notice. 
 
 A prompt remittance will be duly appreciated. 
 
 Yours very truly, 
 
 To make use of this sort of blank form involves les.s 
 risk of giving offense than if it were sent in the form 
 of a letter. Since it is a blank that has been filled in for 
 the occasion, it is evident to the customer that it is a 
 part of the regular routine and involves no "personal" 
 reflection. 
 
 When attempts of this sort fail to produce results, 
 the real "collection letter" must be resorted to. Yet 
 even now, the first attempt may with good reason afford 
 the customer an opportunity to "make good" without 
 a loss of prestige or self-respect. He may be reminded 
 that his credit has been regarded as good, and that while 
 his delay in settling has occasioned no uneasiness, it is 
 up to him to protect his credit; or, again, his sense of 
 justice may be appealed to, provided it is done in a 
 dignified manner. The retailer will generally have a 
 more intimate knowledge of the circumstances of the 
 debtor (or will be in a position to obtain it), than is 
 often the case with the wholesaler or jobber, and hence 
 it will usually be easier for him to adapt each letter to 
 fit the special circumstances of each case. 
 
 If, however, the point is finally reached where it 
 becomes necessary to threaten proceedings, it is equally 
 as important here, as with the commercial account, to 
 employ dignifiedly brief yet emphatic language. Let- 
 ters of the sort illustrated by Nos. 3 and 4, on pp. 118, 
 no, should be written without excuses or apologetic lan- 
 guage. And, if once sent, the threat should be promptly 
 and rigidly lived up to. Information spreads rapidly
 
 COLLECTION LETTERS 125 
 
 For some reason, doubtless an oversight on 
 your part, your check covering your account for 
 
 $ , now already three months overdue, has 
 
 not reached us. 
 
 Your patronage has always been highly appre- 
 ciated, and your name has been retained on our books 
 with much satisfaction. You will readily appre- 
 ciate, no doubt, that promptness in meeting one's 
 obligations is the basis of all business relations. 
 
 And won't you also agree with us that in 
 justice to yourself as well as to us, you should see 
 to it that this delay does not continue any longer? 
 
 Of course, it is easy to understand that over- 
 sights such as this occur very easily. Please do not 
 trouble to apologize, for none is necessary. 
 
 But won't you send us a check today? 
 
 An example of affording- the customer an opportunity to 
 "make good" without any sense of having been hounded to it. 
 It -appeals to his sense of justice and his regard for his repu- 
 tation; yet it provides an excuse for the delay and saves the 
 customer from having to offer one.
 
 12(5 BETTER BUSINESS BETTERS 
 
 to the effect that a concern does not go the limit, but 
 merely bluffs when it threatens, and a reputation of this 
 sort is sure to entail serious losses in the end.
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 
 
 Letters embodying complaints may come from so many 
 sources and result from so many causes that it is some- 
 what difficult to attempt to lay down many rules regard- 
 ing the proper form of reply. The content and the sinrit 
 of such replies are, however, another matter. Exam- 
 ples given in the course of this chapter should be studied 
 for their tone, rather than for their exact language. 
 
 A complaining customer may have a perfectly reason- 
 able ground for his "kick," and on the other hand, it 
 may well prove to be the case that the customer is abso- 
 lutely unreasonable, and has no legitimate basis for 
 complaint. The complaint may be based on the quality 
 or the asserted unsuitability of the goods; it may be 
 founded on delay in delivery, or poor packing, or on 
 any one of a dozen grounds. And, from the point of 
 view of the seller, the reason alleged, whatever it is, may 
 be entirely without merit as a basis for a claim. The 
 seller may even suspect the customer of unfairness — or 
 even of a dishonest desire to obtain some unjustified 
 concession. He may feel that he, himself, rather than 
 the customer, is the injured one. These are all possi- 
 bilities, and we shall consider them as we proceed. 
 
 It is well to remember that customers have a long 
 memory and a tongue, as well. Each of these may be 
 made a valuable asset or a dangerous liability for the 
 
 127
 
 128 ] BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 seller, according to circumstances. Moreover, custom- 
 ers are the very foundation of business and of business 
 good will. They are, therefore, to be regarded as the 
 seller's good friends, and, in the main, are to be treated 
 as one would treat a friend. 
 
 We shall consider the nature of various complaints 
 later. It is well, however, to recall in advance of this 
 discussion that, no matter what the nature of the com- 
 plaint, the reply should be dictated on the principle of 
 the ''soft answer that turneth away wrath" — and it 
 will be found to pay large and cumulative dividends 
 that will later immeasurably exceed any present loss 
 involved in making concessions. And, no matter what 
 sort of criticism is offered by the customer, he should be 
 made to feel that suggestions and criticisms are ivel- 
 comed, and that it is a pleasure to have them laid before 
 one in a form which permits of their being considered 
 and replied to. 
 
 Further, the ''confession and avoidance" method of 
 the lawyer — admitting and explaining away — is often 
 extremely efficacious, in that it flatters the self-esteem 
 of the customer. What if his complaint does seem to 
 you to be unjust? You can probably find some excuse 
 for him, and then proceed to answer his complaint from 
 that standpoint. Even here, the wisdom of taking the 
 point of view of the customer, rather than one's own, 
 will be apparent on consideration. Even here, it will 
 not pay to say brutally that he is wrong and unreason- 
 able. Some sort of concession to his pride will make it 
 easier in the end to urge one's own point of view, and 
 easier, also, for him to accept it. 
 
 Before we proceed to an analysis of the different situ- 
 ations involved in business complaints, it may be well to 
 consider what is the legal, as well as the moral, relation
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 129 
 
 of the buyer and seller, the two parties involved in the 
 complaint. 
 
 It should be remembered that the buyer — the man 
 whose letter of complaint is under consideration — has 
 received goods from the seller, and that he has them 
 because he ordered them. This means that the seller 
 has, in good faith, parted with his goods at the request 
 of the buyer, and that if he is not at fault in his share 
 of the transaction, the seller is legally as well as morally 
 entitled to consider the sale as a completed transaction. 
 
 It is not often, though, that the situations arising out 
 of complaints can be handled on this basis alone. No 
 matter what the strict legal rights of the seller may be, 
 there are other considerations which overshadow mere 
 rights, and which dictate their subordination to consid- 
 erations which affect the future. There is a wise busi- 
 ness rule that should in most cases be regarded as 
 suspending the legal and moral rights of the seller, and 
 that may be stated thus: ''No sale or other business 
 transaction should be considered complete until the cus- 
 tomer is fully satisfied with his share in the transac- 
 tion." As we have shown in the case of collection let- 
 ters, the customers on one's books represent an asset — 
 are part of the good w^ill of the business — and the reten- 
 tion of their good will results in a sort of continuing 
 investment that brings in continuous returns. The 
 cumulative value of a satisfied customer is something 
 that cannot be estimated. Potentially, he may be 
 counted on to send in new customers sooner or later. 
 In like manner, the potential injury that a dissatisfied, 
 customer can cause is incalculable, for he may — and- 
 probably will — prejudice or cause the loss to the house 
 of numerous other customers, in the course of time. It 
 is, therefore, good business common-sense to keep legal
 
 130 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 rights in the background, and to make the satisfying of 
 the customer the supreme object. 
 
 If this, then, is to be the controlling attitude in which 
 one approaches the consideration of letters of complaint, 
 it will not be a difficult matter to realize that very few 
 persons indeed really mean to be unfair, and that, from 
 tlie writer's point of view, there is some basis, of some 
 sort, for most complaints that arise in the conduct of 
 business. The complaint may be founded on a mistaken 
 impression of the writer's, and that can be explained to 
 him in the reply ; or it may be founded on a legitimate 
 reason, and such a complaint calls, of course, for an 
 adjustment. If one is predisposed in favor of the custom- 
 er's attitude, and is prepared to make allowances for his 
 point of view, complaints can generally be handled in 
 such a manner as to result in an increase of the good 
 will of the house, rather than in friction or dissatisfac- 
 tion to both sides of the transaction. 
 
 Practically ever^^ complaint, of course, that results 
 from sales or other transactions involving an order and 
 its execution will be found to require some sort of inves- 
 tigation before it can be acted on or disposed of on its 
 merits. Yet, as we shall see later, some business houses 
 make a practice of allowing complaints or claims grow- 
 ing out of sales, irrespective of whether or not they 
 are themselves at fault. It will be well, therefore, for 
 us to consider the handling of complaints from the 
 point of view of the two distinct policies : 
 
 1. Where the seller adopts the fixed policy that the 
 customer is always right, and allows the claim at onc3. 
 
 2. Where the seller investigates complaints, in order 
 first to ascertain the facts underlying them, so as to be 
 able to reach a decision on the merits of each case as to 
 their disposition.
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 131 
 
 1. WHEN THE CLAIM IS WITHOUT MERIT, BUT IS 
 GRANTED AS A MATTER OF POLICY 
 
 IVIany reputable business houses have one unvarying 
 rule, which is considered as applicable under practically 
 all conditions, and which must control the tone of the 
 reply to practically^ all complaints. This is the adage 
 that "The customer is always right." 
 
 "While it is impossible, from the very nature of the 
 case, if this rule is the policy to be followed, to suggest 
 more than a framework for reply letters of this class, 
 there are, nevertheless, certain general principles which 
 should dominate, even when pursuing this extremely 
 liberal policy. It may be difficult to put such a rule 
 into practice ; it may be felt that in recognizing the rule 
 one is allowing one 's self to be victimized ; it may even 
 prove difficult to frame a reply in the face of the fact 
 that the customer may be utterly in the wrong. These 
 things can be done, how^ever, and the experience of 
 those who hold this policy has proved it to be one of the 
 best-paying principles on wiiich to model one's business 
 procedure. And so, if the rule is adopted, one might 
 as well "say it with flowers" — and as graciously as 
 passible ! 
 
 Suppose, first, a simple case — that of a customer who 
 has placed a quantity order based on a previous inspec- 
 tion of a sample. After the shipment reaches him, he 
 writes to say that as the goods do not now appeal to 
 him, or that as they arrived a day or two later than 
 he expected, he will either keep them if a concession is 
 made in the price, or will ship them back for credit. 
 His attitude is utterly unreasonable and unjustified, and 
 yet there is scarcely one case in a hundred in which it 
 is not policy to reply pleasantly", cheerfully assenting to 
 the return of the goods — not, it will be observed, assent-
 
 132 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 ing to the proposed concession in price. There are 
 special cases, of course, involving a special manufacture 
 to fill the specific order in which insistence on compli- 
 ance with the original arrangement is necessary. But 
 even in such a case — ' ' say it with flowers ' ' ! 
 
 Or, suppose, next, that the customer has ordered a 
 machine under the mistaken belief that it is adapted to 
 his needs, and that, on trying it out, he finds that it is 
 actually unsuitable. Another sale may be lost in the 
 meantime by the seller, owing to the machine's having 
 been shipped out to the first customer; there may be 
 considerable expense entailed in receiving it back. Yet 
 nothing wdll ever convince your customer, if he demands 
 it, that it is not your plain duty to permit its return. 
 And a refusal would probably not only leave him with 
 an undying grudge, but result in a propaganda amoug 
 his acquaintances against the seller — a procedure that 
 might be cumulative in its effects and might result in 
 many an additional and unforeseeable loss of sales to 
 other customers in the future. 
 
 The difference between the right and the wrong tone 
 is illustrated by the letter on p. 134 and by that on the 
 opposite page (135). The all-important rule that these 
 letters serve to emphasize is : Don 't begin your letter 
 with an argument against the return of the goods, and 
 then wind up with a grudging consent to their return. 
 Be human first of all, and do your arguing after you 
 have shown yourself to be human. 
 
 Examine first the letter on p. 135. It is not difficult 
 to realize that as the customer reads on through this 
 letter, he will be likely to grow more and more obstinate 
 in his determination to send back the goods. Instead of 
 winning him over to a decision to retain them, the very 
 fact that the seller argues against the customer's
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 133 
 
 position and does so in an aggrieved tone, serves to 
 alienate the customer still more. Telling a man that 
 he is unreasonable is not convincing — it is irritating. 
 The unwilling consent granted at the end either is an 
 implied admission on the part of the writer that he 
 ought really to agree to take back the shipment, or else 
 it is an impolitic and l^elated effort to win the customer's 
 good will after having first tried to shame him into with- 
 drawing his demands. 
 
 Turn next to the first letter, and note that the entire 
 discussion is in reverse order, as compared with the 
 second letter. At the very outset the customer is won 
 over by being told that his rights, his advantage, are 
 uppermost in the mind of the seller. At once the customer 
 is made to realize that here he is dealing with a house 
 that will ' ' do the square thing. ' ' Unconsciously he is at 
 least wavering by now, so that as he reads farther he 
 is in a frame of mind that tends to make him disposed 
 to listen to the mild argument that follows, particularly 
 if, as here, the argiiment is framed to show him where Ji is 
 advantage lies, and does not harp on the rights of the 
 seller. And the concession that is offered him in connec- 
 tion with the new bill of goods which is suggested and 
 which he can sell in connection with the earlier ship- 
 ment, is calculated to persuade him to decide to retain 
 the very goods he earlier wanted to return, cmd to place 
 an additional order as well. In a large proportion of 
 the cases where the right kind of letter is written, the 
 goods won't have to be taken back, even though the cus- 
 tomer is told to send them back in accordance with his 
 wishes. 
 
 The contrast here, then, is between a letter that accom- 
 plishes nothing in the way of persuasion-, and serves 
 only to irritate an already discontented customer, and a
 
 134 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 So you are not altogether satisfied with those 
 dresses! 
 
 By all means send them back, if you don't like 
 them. We are not in business to unload undesirable 
 or undesired goods on our friends, and if they don't 
 please you, we'd rather have them back than not. 
 
 Are you altogether sure, though, that they 
 would not make a dandy bargain line for a "sale"? 
 You know, we quoted you an extremely low figure on 
 these, and you can afford to sell them 'way below 
 regular prices and yet make an unusual profit. And 
 they'll sell, too--no doubt about it. In our 
 opinion, you are really passing up a good thing. 
 
 Think this over. You might do much worse than 
 keep this line. But it's up to you, of course, for we 
 are absolutely ready to take them back. 
 
 Take a look at the sample of and 
 
 of that we are enclosing. Wouldn't they 
 
 make a pretty good line to sell along with the 
 dresses? If you decide to keep the latter, we shall 
 
 be glad to bill you these at ninety days, 
 
 and you could easily sell the whole shipment in that 
 time. 
 
 Just tell us what you prefer, and we'll be 
 perfectly satisfied, either way. 
 
 Compare this with the letter on the opposite page. Note 
 the friendly agreement at the very beginning, with the cus- 
 tomer's point of view, and the way in which his interest is 
 sought to be aroused by means of a counter-proposition. This 
 is calculated not only to make him willing to forego his inten- 
 tion of returning the goods, but even to place another order 
 for more! Thus a "human" letter can make a friend instead of 
 an enemy, and also tend to turn into a profitable transaction 
 one that bids fair to entail a loss.
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 135 
 
 We have your valued favor of September 9, 
 complaining about the recent shipment of 
 
 from us, and declaring your intention to return them. 
 
 These dresses were sold you at a figure 'way 
 below the market, and of course, under the circum- 
 stances, you cannot expect them to be above all 
 criticism. We sold you a bargain, however, because 
 you can very readily sell them at a good profit. 
 
 They are excellent quality and entirely up- 
 to-date, and if they are a little off-color, as you 
 state, it is not a defect that is noticeable, or 
 likely to injure your trade. 
 
 So much time has elapsed since shipment that 
 it is a little unreasonable of you to expect us to 
 take them back. When we sell a bill of goods, we 
 expect it to stay sold. How else could we do busi- 
 ness? And as they are easily salable, we don't under- 
 stand the need for the concession you ask. 
 
 However, if you feel we ought to take them 
 back, we'll agree to it. You are hereby authorized 
 to return them. 
 
 A good example of "how not to do it." Such a letter could 
 only niake the customer more determined than ever to return 
 the goods, and is more likely to make him feel permanently 
 sore over the grudging manner in which assent is given to 
 his proposal. Compare this with the friendly attitude 
 expressed in the letter on the opposite page.
 
 136 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 letter that instantly and cheerfully grants the customer 's 
 request but couples the action with a politic argument 
 and a subtle suggestion that is likely to make the 
 customer abandon his first intention, keep the goods, 
 and order more besides. It is the difference between 
 alienating the good will and support of a customer 
 through the ill-advised argument that he is injuring you, 
 and the strengthening of the good will of the customer 
 by telling him that you are thinking of Ids interests 
 when you make your decisions. 
 
 Few purchasers are able to realize that their purchase 
 is only one of hundreds or of thousands, and that it is 
 perhaps among the most insignificant of the lot. Few 
 are able to realize that a complaint involves an examina- 
 tion of order slips, correspondence, shipping records, 
 and financial records. Hence, while such an investiga- 
 tion is proceeding, and even if it is given the most 
 prompt attention, a few days may elapse before a reply 
 can be made, based on the merits of the transaction. 
 This delay, if the customer is left in the meantime with- 
 out any acknowledgment of his claim, is likely to breed 
 impatience and irritation in his mind, which tend to 
 make him less and less inclined to view the matter rea- 
 sonably, or from any other standpoint than that which 
 his irritation has created. Hence the wisdom of the rule 
 that an acknowledgment of the claim be sent on the 
 same day that the letter is received. It commits the 
 writer to nothing specific, but holds the good will of 
 the customer by persuading him of the good faith of 
 the house he is dealing with. Above all, it prevents his 
 impatience from growing and from warping his own 
 good judgment. 
 
 A letter acknowledging the receipt of the claim and 
 promising speedy adjustment on its merits as soon as
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 137 
 
 Thank you for your letter of the 9th inst., 
 in which you make it quite clear why you think you 
 should not pay our bill in full. 
 
 When you ordered the book on "Advertising" 
 from us, you did so on the blank which coupled the 
 offer of the book with a year's subscription to "The 
 Advertiser." The regular price of the book is S2, 
 but it was offered at 50c in connection with 
 the subscription, as a premium on the latter. We 
 supposed that you understood it that way. Evidently 
 it was not made as clear as we thought we had made it. 
 
 Under the circumstances, we are going to ask 
 you to accept the book without further obligation. 
 We are glad to take the same view of the matter as 
 you do, and we assure you that we have no desire 
 to demand any more from you than what you understood 
 to be due at the time of ordering. 
 
 Example of a "good will builder." The concession asked by 
 the customer is often unreasonable. But if it is granted, it should 
 be granted in as pleasant a manner as would be shown when 
 accepting an order. All that there is in it for the seller is the 
 good will it creates.
 
 138 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 these are ascertained, written in the tone of the example 
 given on p. 139, is, after all, no more than ordinary 
 courtesy. Yet it contributes immensely to convincing 
 the customer that his interests are not ignored — which, 
 on the other hand, is the inference he draws from a 
 failure to acknowledge, followed by a lapse of several 
 days, however natural and necessary the latter may be. 
 
 2. WHERE CCMI>LAINTS ARE INVESTIGATED BEFORE 
 ACTION IS TAKEN 
 
 Investigation will usually require more or less time, 
 of course. The rule, however, that the complaint should 
 be acknowledged on the same day on which it is received 
 should be inexorably followed. It must be remembered 
 that, from the customer's standpoint, his purchase, and 
 consequently his complaint, is the sole transaction of 
 any importance. 
 
 The principles which should govern the granting of 
 the claim as a whole are equally applicable, of course, to 
 cases where it is considered wise to make a partial con- 
 cession, on the same ground of policy that, in another 
 case, dictates the granting of the entire claim. If there 
 is to be any concession at all, let it be made cheerfully 
 and not grudgingly or as an act of charity. A letter such 
 as that on the next page is certain to create a good impres- 
 sion on the mind of the recipient, and while the conces- 
 sion may involve a slight present loss, the "publicity" 
 and good will that it will earn are well worth the sum 
 involved — indeed, could seldom if ever be purchased for 
 such a sum through direct advertising. 
 
 Investigation of a claim on its merits before taking 
 action on the customer's complaint will usually result in 
 developing one of the following four situations :
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 139 
 
 Your letter of July 8, calling our attention 
 to an overcharge of ^21. 95 in the statement of your 
 account for June arrived this morning. It is a 
 matter of great regret to us that you should have been 
 subjected to any inconvenience through any act of 
 ours, and we are investigating the matter with all 
 possible promptness. 
 
 You will understand, we hope, that the item 
 involves a search through a good many charging slips 
 and records, and we hope that you will indulge us 
 for a few days until this can be effected. 
 
 You may rest assured that any error on our 
 part will be promptly corrected as soon as we are in 
 possession of the facts. 
 
 Letter acknowledging' receipt of claim, promising no more 
 than an adjustment on the merits, but tending- to keep the cus- 
 tomer satisfied, pending the necessary examination into the 
 facts.
 
 140 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 1. Tlie fault is found actually to be with the seller, 
 and the customer's complaint is well founded. 
 
 2. The seller is found to be free from blame, but some 
 third party, such as the railroad or express company, is 
 at fault. 
 
 3. The fault lies partly with the seller and partly 
 with the customer. 
 
 4. The complaint is based on a misunderstanding 
 regarding the goods on the part of the customer. 
 
 1. Where the Claim Is Granted Because the Seller Is 
 in the Wrong. — Thus far, we have considered cases where 
 the complaint is settled on the basis of a concession made 
 from motives of policy, although the claim may possess 
 little or no merit in itself. 
 
 There arise, of course, many cases where the customer 
 is actuallj^ in the right, and where he is entitled to 
 adjustment as a matter of mere justice. Here the posi- 
 tion to be taken by the seller is not one about which there 
 can be any question. The more frankly the mistake is 
 admitted, the better. In doing so, it is always wise to 
 offer a brief explanation of how the mistake came to be 
 made, and to couple this with the assurance that steps 
 have been taken to prevent its recurrence in the future. 
 The customer will have other orders to place in the 
 future, and these must not be lost sight of or imperiled 
 for want of an explanation of the circumstances that 
 caused the present trouble. A cheerful request that the 
 goods forming the basis of the complaint be returned at 
 the expense of the seller counts for much with the cus- 
 tomer, and ought invariably to be made in such a case of 
 settlement. 
 
 2. Where a Third Party Is the Cause of the Com- 
 plaint. — When this is ascertained to be the fact, the full 
 details should be pointed out to the customer, if for no
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 141 
 
 We have completed a test of several other 
 motors from the same stock as that from which yours 
 was shipped to you, and we find to our consternation 
 and regret that a good many of them are not as noise- 
 less as they should be. We understood perfectly at 
 the time of filling your order that you required 
 a noiseless motor, and accordingly we shall consider 
 it a favor if you will return to us at our expense 
 the one you now have. 
 
 We are today sending you by express, charges 
 prepaid, a new motor which we have found, by test, 
 to comply fully with your specifications, and we 
 hope that it will arrive in time to spare you further 
 inconvenience. If it should arrive too late for 
 your purpose, please have no hesitation in returning 
 it at our cost. 
 
 The mistake in the first instance was due to 
 our haste in filling your order without preliminary 
 testing. We are extremely sorry that this neglect 
 has caused you any inconvenience, and we assure 
 you that we have taken steps to prevent a recurrence 
 of such neglect. 
 
 You will feel assured, we hope, that we 
 value your orders highly, and that any you may send 
 us in the future will be executed with the utmost 
 care. 
 
 Example of a letter recognizing that the customer is justified 
 in his claim.
 
 142 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 other reason than to make it clear that the seller is not 
 himself at fault. The loss of the shipment by the railroad 
 or by the express company can be told briefly, as a simple 
 fact. But the seller should invariably advise the customer 
 that further steps ought to be taken in order to get a set- 
 tlement or a delivery. Far better is the rule that the seller 
 should always offer to deal with the offending third party 
 himself. Many cases will arise where it is a wise policy 
 to take the necessary steps at once and inform the 
 customer of what has been done in his interest. This 
 policy contributes much to good will. And, if the seller 
 happens to be of greater importance in the business world 
 than the customer is, action by the seller is more likely 
 to result in a satisfactory adjustment. 
 
 3. Where the Fault Lies tcith Both Seller and Cus- 
 tomer. — In this case the best policy is usually either to 
 "make good" without explanation, or to explain clearly 
 and then to offer to assume the entire responsibility. It 
 can very rarely happen that it will prove wise to explain 
 fully and at the same time offer to share in the loss with 
 the customer. This is a niggardly policy that rarely 
 satisfies, and that never makes friends. If you are in 
 the wrong at all, assume the full consequences — and do 
 it gracefully — and you will be the gainer in the end. 
 
 4. Misunderstandings Regarding the Go^ds. — -There 
 is, lastly, the complaint that originates in the fact that 
 the customer misunderstands the proper way to use the 
 goods, or is unable to use them intelligently. Such a 
 situation is likely to make him dissatisfied, and to cause 
 him to find fault with the goods when the fault really 
 lies with himself. 
 
 Replies to this sort of complaint call for considerable 
 tact on the part of the writer, since the trouble is 
 founded on a misunderstanding, or on a lack of under-
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 143 
 
 standing. Here, once more, it is most necessary to 
 remember that however trifling or insignificant the diffi- 
 culty may appear to you, to the customer it is an impor- 
 tant matter. In replying, therefore, his point of view 
 must be the sole consideration, and the explanation must 
 be made commensurate with the importance that he 
 attaches to the matter, A full description of the article, 
 technical and otherwise, worded as clearly as possible, is 
 no more than his due in exchange for his money. Fur- 
 thermore, he should be asked to write again if he finds 
 that he needs further enlightenment, and he should be 
 assured that you are really trying to satisfy him and to 
 make things clear. This, after all, is mere justice, and 
 whether or not it is an annoyingly trifling or trouble- 
 some matter to you should have nothing to do with the 
 manner in which you reply to him. 
 
 3. AVHEN SETTLEMENT OF THE CLAIM IS REFUSED 
 
 Cases of this class ought to be extremely rare, for the 
 customer is either justified in his claim, or, as we have 
 seen above under (1), it is usually policy to treat his 
 claim as a valid one. If, however, the seller is convinced 
 that the customer is entirely wrong, that he has no 
 justification whatever for his claim, and if he is, more- 
 over, determined not to grant it, it is vital that the 
 refusal be made in the right tone and with the right 
 mental attitude. 
 
 The problem is, of course, how to refuse the customer's 
 request and yet to retain him as a satisfied customer. 
 To reply in cold terms that he is w^rong, that his claim 
 is unjust and that it cannot therefore be granted, is 
 the surest way to alienate his good will and to drive him 
 elsewhere with his future business.
 
 144 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 Cases such as these call for the exercise of diplomacy. 
 There may be special circumstances that may contrib- 
 ute assistance in giving a personal tinge to the letter. 
 The matter can sometimes be treated as a difference 
 between friends, and a refusal to grant the claim can 
 sometimes be softened by invoking the relation of friend- 
 ship. We are concerned with business relations solely. 
 In the latter cases, it is usually well to admit that from 
 the customer's present point of view he is probably justi- 
 fied in taking the position that he does. The effort 
 must be made to show him, however, that he has rea- 
 soned wrongly, or has not realized the full effect of his 
 attitude. The justice of the seller's point of view must 
 be tactfully urged, and ought to be convincing in its 
 nature, even though it is not made prominent as an 
 argument. 
 
 It is one thing, however, to convince a man through 
 his reason, and quite another thing to satisfy him that 
 he is wrong. Thus explanation must be expressed with 
 tact and, perhaps, accompanied by an appeal to his 
 ''sporting instincts," that will serve to show him that 
 he ought not to claim what he does. 
 
 Let us suppose the case of a man whose leg has been 
 amputated, and for whom an artificial limb has been 
 specially made under specific directions from the sur- 
 geon. On delivery, it may have proved highly uncom- 
 fortable and awkward to use, and the buyer has written, 
 let us suppose, refusing to accept it or i>ay for it. 
 A suggestion for the tone of the proper reply will be 
 found given on the following page. 
 
 Finally, there are certain maxims that it is well to 
 have ahvays in mind when replying to letters of com- 
 plaint. 
 
 1. Never take a stand or make an assertion that is
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 145 
 
 Anyone unfortunate enough to have lost a 
 limb is certainly entitled to the very best appli- 
 ance, the most convenient substitute, that will help 
 to replace it and to minimize the great loss he has 
 suffered. And we thoroughly and sympathetically 
 understand your position that the artificial limb 
 sent you is uncomfortable and seems to be too 
 long for you, and that it is, therefore, unsuitable 
 to your needs. 
 
 Let us assure you, however, that at each stage 
 of its designing and manufacture, we have consulted 
 
 with Dr. , and that he is authority for the 
 
 statement that the disappointment that you now 
 feel is inevitable when you first begin to use the 
 
 limb. Our experts, under Dr. 's direction, 
 
 have planned for the future, rather than for the 
 immediate present. 
 
 You have the assurance of a house whose 
 reputation for skill is unquestioned, that when you 
 have adapted yourself to its use, the limb furnished 
 you will be suitable in every respect. 
 
 It is no doubt true that its present use 
 is attended with discomfort. Wouldn't it be wise, 
 however, to accept our assurance, in connection with 
 
 that of Dr. , that present inconvenience 
 
 will shortly give way to delighted satisfaction 
 on your part? 
 
 This will be the case, and we say it with 
 assurance. It would, under the circumstances, be 
 highly unwise for us to consider a return of the limb. 
 
 We count with equal assurance on your wise 
 acceptance of the present circumstances, for the sake 
 of the future satisfaction that will be yours. 
 
 Example of a diplomatic refusal to recognize a claim.
 
 146 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 uiitrne or that will even appear to be debatable to your 
 customer. Never give him a chance, in other words, to 
 argue with you — or you are lost. Any statement made 
 regarding your position must be so true and plain that 
 your customer has no chance to doubt its truth or even 
 to consider it open to discussion. If it appears abso- 
 lutely necessary to say something which, however true, 
 your customer may possibl}^ call in question, it should 
 be prefaced by several statements which the customer 
 cannot dispute, and which wnll lead up logically to the 
 statement which you fear he may dispute. 
 
 2. Never jump illogically from one point of view to 
 another or from one position to another. Whatever 
 stand you take, let it be adhered to firmly, but be care- 
 ful not to seek to bolster it up by a lot of disconnected 
 arguments. The whole idea of your '»letter is that it 
 must carry your customer with you as you proceed. 
 You cannot do this if the continuity of his thought is 
 broken up by irregular and illogical sequence of yours. 
 
 3. Let the letter be physically easy to read, i.e., see 
 that it is logically broken up into paragraphs. A letter 
 that is not paragraphed lacks the clearness and sense 
 of progression that come from a well-paragraphed letter 
 and is at best confusing as well as tiring to the atten- 
 tion. If you are not conversant with the art of para- 
 graphing—for it is an art — the companion book in this 
 series on Better Business English should be consulted. 
 Remember that a letter that is difficult to read is likely 
 to irritate — and to cause irritation in the mind of your 
 customer is fatal to a pleasant settlement of the dispute 
 or complaint. 
 
 4. Be courteous, no matter what the circumstances. 
 To show irritation or impatience is not only to incur 
 the risk of losing the customer, but puts the writer who
 
 ANSWERING COMPLAINT LETTERS 147 
 
 is guilty of this weakness at a disadvantage with his 
 customer. The customer's interests must be given the 
 preference over everytliing, so far as one's own feelings 
 are concerned, and the way to do this best is to let one 's 
 letters convej^ the impression of the "smile that won't 
 come off." 
 
 5. Before proceeding to dictate a reply to a com- 
 plaint, imagine your customer as seated before you at 
 your desk. How would you talk to him? Get yourself 
 in the frame of mind to be as courteous as you would 
 try to be if he were present. It will not be difficult 
 then to inject the right tone into your letter. As the 
 late Elbert Hubbard said : ' ' Write as you feel — but be 
 sure that you feel right." 
 
 A tale should be judicious, clear, succinct. 
 The language plain, and incidents wetl linked. 
 Tell not as new what everybody knows, 
 And, new or old, still hasten to a close. 
 
 — Coicper.
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 HINTS ON SALESMANSHIP AS APPLIED TO 
 LETTERS 
 
 Dr. Frank Crane, who, by the way, disclaims any 
 pretension to being a salesman, once gave what he called 
 the "Ten Commandments of Salesmanship." They are 
 so thoroughly applicable to salesmanship as applied to 
 letters that they are well worth adopting as a business 
 creed by the man who tries to sell by mail. They are : 
 
 1. Be agreeable. 
 
 2. Know your business. 
 
 3. Tell the truth. 
 
 4. Don't argue — suggest. 
 
 5. Make your proposition plain. 
 
 6. Remember names and faces. 
 
 7. Never forget your social — and moral — obliga- 
 
 tions. 
 
 8. Don't be egotistic — concede that privilege to 
 
 your customer. 
 
 9. Think success. 
 10, Be human. 
 
 The principles involved in several of these "com- 
 mandments" are discussed in their proper relation to 
 the subject of sales letters in the preceding chapters. 
 They are, of course, principles inherent in all business 
 letter-writing, and Dr. Crane enunciated nothing new 
 in his "Ten Commandments." It is worth while to 
 
 148
 
 sal:esmanship in sales letters 149 
 
 comment on each one, however, since they constitute a 
 convenient sunniiary of the principles applicable to every 
 class of business letter. 
 
 1. Be Agreeable. — The master key of human nature 
 lies in the disposition of all of us to associate with and 
 to deal with, to be open-handed with and to assist, those 
 who know how to ''get on our right side," who "treat 
 us right, ' ' who radiate good nature and good will. Spe- 
 cifically applied to letter-writing, this means not only 
 that one's first approach, the business proposal, should 
 be couched in pleasant, agreeable language, but that in 
 any dispute or difference of opinion you are the one to 
 do more, to go farther in conceding a point, in offering 
 to adjust a claim or to take back an unsatisfactory 
 article, than even strict business honesty demands. It 
 pays well, in the end, to be agreeable under all condi- 
 tions, even to the extent of smilingly taking the worst 
 of it. 
 
 2. Knoiv Your Business. — The writer of a letter can- 
 not make the desired impression, the attempted sale, the 
 permanently loyal customer, unless he knows his sub- 
 ject through and through. To hope to achieve by acci- 
 dent or by luck what must be gone at in a scientific 
 way, and with thorough preparation, is not the part of 
 a salesman, whether he be a traveling man or an office 
 man. This subject is discussed at length in the chap- 
 ter on "The Atmosphere of Business Letters." 
 
 3. Tell the Truth. — Looked at merely as a "gam- 
 bling proposition," this pays better, is more certain of 
 permanently good results, than lying, than misrepre- 
 sentation, than subterfuge, than stating half-truths. To 
 lie successfully, one must, it is said, have a good mem- 
 ory. To tell the truth requires no fortification of the 
 memory, no elaborate preparation. It is, on the other
 
 150 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 hand, incomparably more certain to win a customer, to 
 bind him to you by ties of faith and trust, than all 
 the dissembling and pretenses and subterfuges that a 
 brilliant brain can conceive. This subject is also dis- 
 cussed at some length in Chapter I. 
 
 4. Don't Ar:gue. — The old adage, "A man convinced 
 against his will is a man unconvinced still," serves to 
 prove the wisdom of this injunction. Argument may 
 serve to convince for the moment the man who is not 
 ready with a "come back," but it often fails to "stick," 
 and it is not the sort of conviction that will make him 
 willingly hand over his money. Suggestion, that leads 
 the other man's mind to your point of view, is far more 
 likely to end in his taking the step you want him to 
 take. A story, an adage, an illustration, even in a let- 
 ter, serves to suggest a point, and should be allowed 
 to carry the suggestion without argument. The reader 
 will see the point. Mere argument may convince him 
 as he reads ; but he is likely to ' ' come loose ' ' later on. 
 
 5. Make it Plain. — It is not words, words, words, 
 that convince or make an impression, but simple clear- 
 ness. To make your point plain it is necessary to take 
 the other man's point of view. What is clear to you 
 may mean nothing to him. If you can write from his 
 standpoint you have a chance, and the only real chance, 
 to win him. The importance of this is shown in Chap- 
 ter II. 
 
 6. Remember Names. — If, on meeting a man whom 
 you have seen but once before in your life, you are able 
 to greet him by his name, you have opened the way to 
 his heart. So, in a letter, even though it be addressed 
 to a firm or a corporation, if you head it for the atten- 
 tion of Mr. So-and-So, it carries an atmosphere of inti- 
 macy and of personal contact that begins to make itself
 
 SALEbMANSHIP ]N SALES LETTERS l.-jl 
 
 felt as soon as one begins to read it, that is not to be 
 attained by the mere impersonal address to the firm. 
 We all have our little vanities, and it is not wise to 
 ignore the advantage to be gained from gratifying harm- 
 less peculiarities of this sort. For letter-writing, this 
 commandment might be extended by adding: Visualize 
 your prospect while writing. 
 
 7. Don't Lose Sight of Your Moral Obligations. — So 
 far as letter-writing is concerned, this injunction is 
 much of the same nature as: "Tell the truth." The 
 busiiiess man who is "out for the stuff," merely, is sure 
 to arouse suspicions regarding his good faith. Unscru- 
 pulousness in motive crops out in the tone of one's let- 
 ters. And he who has a finely developed sense of moral 
 obligation will win the confidence of his prospects where 
 the unscupulous man will fail. 
 
 8. Don't Be Egotistical. — Egotism in a letter can be 
 as destructive to one's chances as it is in conversation. 
 As is pointed out in the earlier chapters, your cus- 
 tomer is the one to be humored. Your opinions don't 
 count for much with him ; but his opinions should count 
 for everything with you. Concede him the right to his 
 point of view — humor him. It pays. 
 
 9. Think Success. — The tone of your letters is the 
 result of your mental attitude at the time you write them. 
 If you haven't the tone of a winner, you can't expect 
 your correspondent to persuade himself. A letter is 
 likely to be an abstract sort of thing, anyway, and you 
 have to project your thoughts through it to your corre- 
 spondent. Your thoughts must be of the right quality, 
 therefore, before your letter can make the right im- 
 pression. 
 
 10. Be Human. — This is a terse way of expressing 
 the adage that "one touch of nature makes the whole
 
 152 BETTER BUSINESS EETTERS 
 
 You are probably familiar with our 
 
 Letter Opening Machine, a device that sells itself 
 to most Office Managers, as soon as it is shown to 
 them. 
 
 We have no representative for this in your 
 City and we should be glad to have you undertake 
 the agency o 
 
 We are enclosing an illustrated circular 
 which will show you the different classes and sizes 
 in which the machine is made and the use to which 
 it can be put. 
 
 It is selling in very large numbers just now 
 and we desire to push it. It sells for |10-16 
 according to model desired, which is very cheap, 
 don't you think? 
 
 It is attractive to all offices where the 
 mail is heavy. It opens the letters as you will 
 note by paring a thin edge off but without damag- 
 ing the contents of the letters. It is a very 
 attractive proposition for agents to handle. It 
 does the work much faster than it can be done by 
 hand, and thus is a great labor saver; it is there- 
 fore something that soon pays for itself. 
 
 We can offer you very attractive discounts 
 ranging as high as 50 plus 10^ on orders of 12 or 
 more. If you are looking for a chance to make easy 
 money- -here it is! 
 
 If you will let us know whether the propo- 
 sition interests you we will be very glad to take 
 up with you the question of discounts and of an 
 exclusive territory. If you are unable to undertake 
 this yourself will you suggest the name of the 
 right party for us to approach? 
 
 In this connection will you inform us how 
 many of the enclosed circulars bearing your name 
 and imprint you could use to good advantage? 
 
 Hoping to hear from you by return mail, we are 
 Yours very truly, 
 
 An instance of a sales letter, inherently weak and lacking- in 
 salesmanship, but rendered more ineffective still by the "scat- 
 tering" of its argument, and the utter lack of logical sequence.
 
 SALESMANSHIP IN SALES LETTERS 153 
 
 You are probably familiar with our_ 
 
 Letter Opening Machine, a device that sells itself 
 to most office managers as soon as it is shown to 
 them. It is attractive to all offices where the 
 mail is heavy. As you will note, it opens the letters 
 by paring off a thin edge, but without damaging the 
 contents [of the letter] . It does the work much 
 faster than it can be done by hand, and thus is a 
 great labor saver. It is, therefore, something that 
 soon pays for itself. 
 
 We are enclosing an illustrated circular 
 which will show you the different classes and sizes 
 in which the machine is made, and the use [s] to 
 which it can be put. It is a very attractive propo- 
 sition for agents to handle. It sells for SIO to 
 $16, according to [the] model desired- -which is very 
 cheap, don't you think? 
 
 It is selling in very large numbers, just 
 now, and we desire to push it. We have no repre- 
 sentative for this in your city, and we should be 
 glad to have you undertake the agency. If you are 
 looking for a chance to make easy money, here it is. 
 We can offer you very attractive discounts, ranging 
 as high as 5075 plus 10% on orders of twelve or more. 
 
 If you will let us know whether the propo- 
 sition interests you, we will [ shall 1 be very glad 
 to take up with you the question of discounts and 
 of an exclusive territory. In this connection, 
 will you inform us how many of the enclosed circu- 
 lars bearing your name and imprint you could use to 
 good advantage? 
 
 If you are unable to undertake this your- 
 self, will you suggest the name of the right party 
 for us to approach? 
 
 Yours very truly. 
 
 The same letter as that on the opposite page made much 
 more effective by being- rearranged. Note that now such sales 
 ideas as are advanced are at least presented in logical sequence. 
 It is still far from being a good sales letter, but serves to 
 illustrate the principle that even poor material may be made 
 more forceful if properly presented.
 
 154 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 world kin." You must avoid formality in letters; 
 eliminate the stilted, fossilized phrases ; make your let- 
 ters the expression of yourself, and not the remote, 
 cold-blooded affairs that most business letters are. If 
 you are trying to sell golf balls, for instance, some little 
 intimate reference to the golf course, to the game itself, 
 to the idiosyncrasies of caddies, or to the perversities of 
 balls, gives a human touch to what might otherwise be 
 an impersonal proposition. It is human warmth that 
 helps to thaw the atmosphere between strangers. 
 
 Another opportunity to "be human" is offered you 
 whenever you receive an inquiry for something you 
 cannot furnish. Never reply with the mere statement, 
 however pleasantly put, that you ".are sorry that you 
 have nothing to offer of the kind (or style) inquired 
 for, ' ' but proceed to give, openly and frankly, the name 
 of a reliable firm that can. It pays well to give all the 
 time and effort necessary to make every letter a builder 
 of good will. And if you cannot have the profit involved 
 in actually making a sale, the good will you gain by 
 frankly putting the customer in touch with one who can 
 furnish the goods, is cumulative for the future, in build- 
 ing up a prestige that is invaluable. 
 
 These "commandments" might well have a few more 
 added to them, which are more specifically applicable to 
 the sales letter. These are: 
 
 11. Don't Scatter. — An argument, a presentation of 
 a proposition, a description of an article, is seriously 
 weakened in its effect if the development of the sub- 
 ject is not logical. The mind can follow a logical pres- 
 entation of a subject without exertion ; if the develop- 
 ment is confused or does not lead step by step to the 
 logical climax, the effect of the letter itself is destroyed
 
 SALESMANSHIP IN SALES LETTERS 155 
 
 or weakened. To "scatter" in sales talk is as wasteful 
 of effect as the undue scattering of troops is in the 
 operations of an army. 
 
 12. Give the Whole Story. — Except where a series of 
 sales letters is planned in which the subject is gradually 
 unfolded in sequence, all the points of the article offered, 
 all it will accomplish in the way of advantage to the 
 prospect, all it is useful for, in short, all there is to be 
 said from the point of view of the customer, should be 
 said plainly, and no point should be slurred over. 
 You never know which point will appeal most strongly 
 to a customer and hence you cannot afford not to give 
 him a full presentation of your case. 
 
 13. Avoid Alternative Choices or Offers. — A variety 
 of "combination" offers, where, for example, half a 
 dozen articles are offered, and the "combination" oft'ers 
 involve a special price for Nos. 1, 2, and 3, for Nos. 2, 4, 
 and 6, and Nos. 1, 3, and 5, runs afoul of the psycho- 
 logical law that decision must not be embarrassed by 
 the necessity for discrimination between conflicting 
 offers. It is impossible to press the prospect to act 
 unless the decision is made easy for him. He cannot 
 be as forcibly urged to act "now" if the final choice 
 if left to himself, as he can if the proposition is 
 clean-cut and involves no choice, but calls for a decision 
 on a single act. It is true that this rule is frequently 
 broken — and there may be circumstances to justify such 
 action. There is no doubt, however, that it is a safe and 
 wise rule to follow, in sales letters as well as in personal 
 sales talks.
 
 CHAPTER yill 
 
 CONCLUSION 
 
 We have insisted throughout this book that a business 
 letter should be written in the same tone in which a 
 business conversation is carried on — that the writer of 
 a business letter must be human, and must express Jiim- 
 self, avoiding all formalities of expression. To the stu- 
 dent of principles, this may at first thought appear dif- 
 ficult to carry into practice. 
 
 It must, of course, be understood that a letter is nec- 
 essarily more condensed than oral business communica- 
 tions. Yet it should be equally easy to understand that 
 one's business letters can well be made to convey the 
 same tone, even if they do not embody the same amount 
 of talk — of words — that would be used if the communi- 
 cation were spoken instead of written. 
 
 It is admittedly difficult for some people to write as 
 well as they can talk. Many successful salesmen would 
 quickly lose their standing as such if they were forced 
 to effect sales by correspondence alone. For while they 
 can talk effectively, they cannot write with any semblance 
 of effectiveness. In most cases this is due to lack of train- 
 ing and of practice. They have not learned to think 
 slowly enough to express tliemselves in writing. But 
 letters can be made to become real sales talks — and this 
 sort of letter is being written more and more generally, 
 in place of the stiff and formal communications which 
 
 156
 
 CONCLUSION 157 
 
 were once regarded as the only proper form of business 
 communication. The secret lies in the fact that the 
 writer of a sales talk has learned to think as simply and 
 as naturally for his written words as he would for his 
 uttered words. He has learned to discard all self-con- 
 sciousness, and to address himself simply and naturally 
 to his subject and to his correspondent, and. in addition, 
 to concentrate his expressions and his language to fit 
 the necessities of a letter. 
 
 This is what is meant by the advice so frequently 
 given in the foregoing pages, that, in order to be thor- 
 oughly effective, business letters must be business talks. 
 And this is what you must aim for and train yourself 
 to do, if you would be effective in your own work. 
 
 If you have read through this book studiously and 
 carefully, you have possibly concluded that by this time 
 you know all you need to know about business lett«r- 
 writing. Perhaps this will be true — in theory. 
 
 But between knowing the theory of a thing and actu- 
 ally putting it into practice there is a gulf that can be 
 crossed only by hard work and much thought. A busi- 
 ness man, for example, usually has the theory of account- 
 ing well enough in his grasp to enable him to discuss 
 the work with his bookkeeper and to consider balance 
 sheets with intelligent understanding. But he could 
 scarcely take charge of the books, and still less could he 
 keep the books himself. He lacks the ability to do the 
 thing that he laiows all about in theory. He has had no 
 practice in the actual doing of the work. This is as 
 true in outside interests as it is in business. The golf 
 player learns the theory of the stance, of the grip, of 
 the approach, of the swing — and is startled to find that 
 when he comes to put the theories of the game into
 
 158 BETTER BUSINESS LETTERS 
 
 practice lie is a joke to the caddy and a source of morti- 
 fication to himself. He is horrified — and humiliated — 
 to find how utterly incompetent he can be in a game 
 whose principles he thought he had learned perfectly. 
 He discovers the wide difference between having the 
 theory and putting that theory into practice. 
 
 So it will be with you when you first try to carry into 
 practice the principles discussed in this book. When 
 you first sit dovai to dictate, after finishing the reading 
 of this book, you will probably find yourself uncon- 
 sciously beginning your letters with the old phrases: 
 "We beg to acknowledge your favor," or "We beg to 
 call your attention to," etc. They will seem to insist 
 on coming to jour tongue, in spite of your knowledge 
 that something original ought to be dictated in their 
 place. The old habits are not easy to overcome, even 
 when you know that they are bad habits. 
 
 Letter-w^riting is truly an art. Even to approach the 
 mastery of an art means much hard work and equally 
 much thought. The man who can instinctively dictate 
 masterly and successful sales letters, and do so without 
 careful thought, is truly a master of the art. But for 
 your consolation and encouragement it can be truth- 
 fully said that such ' ' masters ' ' are extremely rare. The 
 large majority of those who are regarded as skilled sales 
 letter-writers are continually learning, continually 
 thinking, continually trying to improve their methods 
 and to make today's letters better, more effective, more 
 human, than were those of yesterday. 
 
 Your first attempts then, to write model sales letters 
 cannot be expected to produce masterpieces. You will 
 probably flounder a good deal, and produce letters 
 which, when you later read them in typewritten form, 
 will clearly not be what you had hoped to make them.
 
 CONCLUSION 159 
 
 The chances are that you can improve on them then and 
 there, before signmg them. Do so! That is the way — 
 the only effective way — to become able to write. Do 
 your best while you are dictating — and then, when you 
 read them through later, do not hesitate to improve 
 on what you thought was your best, and make them 
 better still. 
 
 If you follow such a method, it will not be long before 
 you find j^ourself applying, with ever-increasing facil- 
 ity, the principles laid down in this book. You will be 
 interested and delighted to find that practice will, before 
 long, enable you to write letters every bit as good as the 
 examples shown in this book. But you must be honest 
 with yourself, and insist on making yourself produce 
 the best there is in you. You must be equally frank, 
 too, in refusing to send out as a signed letter anything 
 that you are capable of improving on. What your 
 stenographer may think of such re-writing is nothing — 
 what your correspondent will think and do when he 
 reads your sales talk is everything!
 
 INDEX 
 
 "Above," use of, criticized 80 
 
 Action, how induced 65, 66, 68, 105 
 
 "Agreeable to," use of, criticized 79 
 
 Analysis: of goods to be sold 10, 11, 13, 14, 45, 56 
 
 of prospective customers 18, 56 
 
 Appeal, adaptation of the 16, 18 
 
 Argument: blended with persuasion 23, 44, 56 
 
 blended with proof 49 
 
 explanation and persuasion combined with 44 
 
 object of 56 
 
 sincerity in 49 
 
 to develop interest 52 
 
 when resorted to 23 
 
 "As per," use of, criticized , . . . , 79, 81 
 
 "Atmosphere," exam^jle of 19 
 
 Attention : 65 
 
 how arrested 23, 30 
 
 how diverted by poor style, etc 78 
 
 "Beg to," use of, criticized 80 
 
 Buyer's point of view: how consulted 11, 15, 38 
 
 how obtained 16 
 
 "Clincher" climax: defined , 21 
 
 effect of absence of 60 
 
 examples of 63, 65, 67 
 
 form and language of 70 
 
 illustrated and discussed 66 
 
 importance of 58, 62, 70 
 
 "order card" as a 66 
 
 price inducement as a 66 
 
 psychology of 62, 68 
 
 stage at which to be used 23, 50 
 
 when necessary 21 
 
 Close: abruptness in, when desirable 61 
 
 examples of forceful 64, 69-70 
 
 must be adapted to prospect 65-70 
 
 (See also "Clincher") 
 
 101
 
 162 INDEX 
 
 Collection letters: commercial accounts Ill 
 
 devices other than direct dunning, in 114 
 
 differing from sales letters 1(»7 
 
 form letters to be avoided 115 
 
 first letter a "feeler" 110 
 
 fundamentals involved in 105, 108, 110 
 
 instalment collections 120 
 
 retail accounts 120 
 
 subordination of "we" element in 1(»5 
 
 "we need the money" expressions to be avoided.. 112 
 
 Commercial accounts, collection of Ill 
 
 Complaint letters: point of view of purchaser to be 
 
 considered 136 
 
 rules governing" replies to 128-130 
 
 tone to be employed when replying to 127,132 
 
 various kinds of 131-138 
 
 where complaint arises from action of third party 140 
 
 where complaint has been investigated 138 
 
 where complaint is without merit 131 
 
 where complaint is founded on misunderstanding 
 
 regarding goods 142 
 
 where cutsomer has well-founded claim 140 
 
 where seller and customer are both at fault 142 
 
 where settlement of claim is refused 143 
 
 Conciseness in letters 10, 46 
 
 "Conformable to," use of, criticized 79 
 
 Conventional phrases, avoidance of 12, 25, 29, 78-82, 158 
 
 Conversations, business letters as. . .12, 26, 44, 105, 111, 147, 157 
 
 Conviction: persuasion in connection with 57 
 
 what it is , 49 
 
 Customer: point of view of, to be sought for 
 
 11, 15, 16, 18, 26, 37, 38, 62, 130, 147 
 
 self-interest of, to be appealed to 18, 37, 48 
 
 Decision: how induced in prospect 21, 23, 44 
 
 when to be created 65-66, 105 
 
 Declarative opening, the 30 
 
 Description: in follow-up letters 87 
 
 manner of giving 37, 38 
 
 motive of 40 
 
 must be specific 73 
 
 printed matter as an aid in 43 
 
 purpose of 18, 23 
 
 suggestive forms of 39-40, 42 
 
 variety in 92 
 
 use of suggestion in 39
 
 INDEX 16;j 
 
 what is involved in 52 
 
 what must be embodied in 39 
 
 when omitted from sales letter 56 
 
 Desire: effect of persuasion on 55 
 
 example of how to awaken 85 
 
 how to stimulate 21, 50 
 
 when created 65 
 
 "Do it now!" suggestion 21, 23, 66-68 
 
 English, importance of good, in business letters 78 
 
 Enthusiasm a necessary element 12 
 
 "Esteemed favor," use of, criticized. 81 
 
 Examples: of acknowledgment of receipt of complaint 139 
 
 of blending of argument and persuasion 56,65 
 
 of diplomatic refusal to grant a claim 145 
 
 of duns in series 116-119 
 
 of establishing the "point of contact" 17 
 
 of familiarity and breeziness 19, 67 
 
 of follow-up letter to inquiries 89-91 
 
 of follow-up sales letters 93, 95, 96 
 
 of forceful close 64, 69-70 
 
 of "good will" builder in replying to complaint.. . 137 
 
 of friendly duns 106, 109, 116, 117, 118, 119, 125 
 
 of indirect proof 54 
 
 of inducement 67 
 
 of inducement climax 63 
 
 of letter awakening interest and desir^ 85 
 
 of letter lacking in salesmanship 59 
 
 of letter offering Inducement to settle instalment 
 
 account 121 
 
 of letter possessing "atmosphere" 19 
 
 of letter recognizing a just claim ■% 141 
 
 of letter referring to printed matter 102 
 
 of letter with illogical sequence of thought . 152 
 
 of letter with sequence of thought rearranged more 
 
 logically 153 
 
 of opening appealing to emotions 35 
 
 of opening awakening interest, and with close em- 
 bodying a personal tone 49 
 
 of opening containing "human interest" appeal... 33 
 of openings contrasting good and bad forms of 
 
 description 38, 42 
 
 of openings good and bad 27 
 
 of opening in narrative form 36 
 
 of opening in which subject of current interest is 
 
 utilized 31
 
 164 INDEX 
 
 of opening letter in follow-up series 9'J 
 
 of practical proof offer 63 
 
 of reference to previous correspondence 24, 25 
 
 of replies to complaints 72 
 
 of right and wrong way of answering complaints. .134, 135 
 
 of suggestive description 39-40 
 
 of wh^t to avoid in collection letters 113 
 
 Experience necessary for sales letter- writer 18 
 
 Explanation : how utilized 44 
 
 what it should involve 45, 46 
 
 Familiarity of tone to be avoided 29 
 
 Follow-up letters 83-104 
 
 examples of 89-91, 93 
 
 follow-up campaigns 92 
 
 number of letters in series 94 
 
 overcoming inertia in prospects by 86 
 
 replies by prospects to be studied for 84 
 
 time interval between 98 
 
 tone of 87 
 
 to replies to sales letters 68 
 
 use of printed matter with 100 
 
 value of description in 87 
 
 value of repetition in 87 
 
 when to mail 103 
 
 Form letters, when to avoid using 115 
 
 Generalizations to be avoided 13, 14, 22 
 
 Goods: necessitv of being familiar with 
 
 10, 11,13,14, 45, 62, 84, 97 
 
 price of, a subordinate question 49 
 
 Grammar, effect of bad 77 
 
 Group psychology, how availed of 68 
 
 "Hereto," use of, criticized 78 
 
 "Herewith," use of, criticized 78 
 
 Honesty : an aid in proof 54 
 
 on part of writer 13, 14 
 
 Human interest *^ 21 
 
 "human interest" opening 32 
 
 in body of letter 156 
 
 "I" or "we" element to be subordinated 28 
 
 difficulty involved 103 
 
 Imagination, when necessary 12, 18, 22, 43
 
 INDEX 165 
 
 Individuality of writer to be impressed on liis 
 
 letters it, 14, 156 
 
 Inducement: leading to decision » 21 
 
 what is 49 
 
 •Inertia, follow-up letters to overcouie 86 
 
 Inquiries, replies to 23 
 
 Instalment payments, collection of 120 
 
 Interest: example of how to awaken 85 
 
 how developed 23, 40, 42, 44, 56-57, 65 
 
 how maintained 47 
 
 when to be created 65, 105 
 
 Interrogative opening, the 29 
 
 "I" or "we" element to be subordinated 14 
 
 Offer, example of 56 
 
 Opening: attracting attention in 28, 56 
 
 conventional phrases in 25 
 
 different kinds of 29 
 
 reference in, to previous correspondence 23 
 
 what must be in the 23, 25, 29 
 
 "Order card": part it can play 66 
 
 Participial endings 79 
 
 Personality of writer reflected in letters 9, 14, 105 
 
 Persuasion: blended M'ith argument 23, 44, 56 
 
 effect of, how lost 58 
 
 effect of, on desire 55 
 
 example of 56 
 
 how exercised 58, 92 
 
 indirect 55 
 
 injuriously affected by argument 54 
 
 object of 23, 56 
 
 what it is 54, 57 
 
 Phraseology: conventional phrases condemned 25, 78 
 
 formal and ineffective 12, 25 
 
 phrases to be avoided 78-82 
 
 sameness of, to be avoided 13, 14, 22 
 
 See also "Style." 
 
 Plan, necessity of 20, 21 
 
 "Please find," use of, criticized 79 
 
 "Point of contact": application of principle of estab- 
 lishing a 38 
 
 how established 11, 16 
 
 illustration of 17 
 
 Previous correspondence, how to refer to 23
 
 1G6 INDEX 
 
 Price: a subordinate question, when 48,49 
 
 at what stage to be mentioned 48 
 
 when a matter of inducement 49 
 
 when to be utilized as an inducement 66 
 
 Printed matter: as a support to a sales letter 45 
 
 use of, in follow-up letters 100 
 
 Procrastination by customer, how guarded against.... 61-62 
 
 Proof: concrete methods of 52-53 
 
 how offered with argument 49 
 
 object of 56 
 
 something more than, needed, when ■ 57 
 
 what is involved in 52 
 
 w^hat it is 53 
 
 Prospect: analysis of 56, 97, 111 
 
 interesting the 11, 15, 21 
 
 knowledge of characteristics of 10, 15, 18, 56, 62, 84 
 
 self-interest of, to be appealed to 18, 37, 57 
 
 Punctuation, effect of faul.ty 77 
 
 "Pursuant to," use of, criticized 79 
 
 Repetition, uses of 87 
 
 Replies to sales letters 71-74 
 
 Retail accounts, collection of 12C 
 
 Sales appeal, adaptation of the 16, 18 
 
 Sales letters: adaptation of appeal in 16 
 
 atmosphere of 18, 19 
 
 as business conversations in writing 10, 12, 60 
 
 "attention of" line in 24 
 
 close of, must be forceful ... 58-70 
 
 comparative study of 74 
 
 compared to show window 68-69 
 
 conventional phrases in 12, 25, 29, 78-82, 158 
 
 critical study of previous efforts in Avriting 84 
 
 definite lines to be followed in 22 
 
 description in ' 37 
 
 enthusiasm for subject on part of writer of 12 
 
 formality in 12 
 
 frameworlf of 22-70 
 
 fundamental principles applicable to 10 
 
 generalizations to be avoided in 13 
 
 honesty in statements in 13 
 
 "I" or "we" element to be subordinated to "you" v 
 
 element 14, 15. 28 
 
 imagination in 12
 
 INDEX 167 
 
 individuality of writer to be impressed on 15fi 
 
 interesting the prospect in the 11 
 
 opening of 23, 20-37 
 
 participial endings in 79 
 
 "point of contact" to be sought for 12 
 
 printed matter used with 43 
 
 replies to, that are not orders 71 
 
 salesmanship in . 10 
 
 sales plan necessary in 10 
 
 sequence of emotions to aim for in 65 
 
 style in 77 
 
 suggestions for improvement of 76 
 
 when to mail 103 
 
 "you" element to be prominent in 14, 15, 28 
 
 Salesmanship: as applied to letters 10 
 
 hints on 148 
 
 "Same," use of, criticized 79 
 
 Self-expression by writer Kill, 14, 156 
 
 Self-interest of customer to be appealed to 18 
 
 Selling by letter .' 10, 13 
 
 perfunctory phrases useless in 27 
 
 Short letters vs. long letters 46-47 
 
 Show window, compared to sales letter 68-69 
 
 Sincerity, an aid to proof 54 
 
 Spelling, effect of faulty 77 
 
 Style: effect of bad grammar, etc 77 
 
 psychological value of 77 
 
 uses of 45 
 
 Subject, complete understanding of, necessary 14 
 
 Suggestion: as an aid in developing interest 39 
 
 example of 56-57 
 
 value of, in follow-up letters 87 
 
 "Talking points": choice of, necessary 11 
 
 how to interest prospect in 41 
 
 "Thanking you in advance," use of, criticized 82 
 
 Untruths, poor business policy 13, 14, 40 
 
 Value vs. price 49 
 
 "We" element to be subordinated 14, 15, 28 
 
 difficulty involved 103 
 
 "You" element to be prominent 14,15,28 
 
 difficulty involved 103
 
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