ilifornia ional Llity PAUL GARDHS A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. SPECIAL GUESTS OF THE PROPRIETOR.' No CHARGES" Another Kind of Man. Page A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES PAUL GARDINER The Author of " Vacation Incidents," "Paul's Adventuri To Date," and others. ILLUSTRATED BY E. J. READ A. P. GARDINER New York J898 Copyright, J898, by A. P. GARDINER. CONTENTS. A RIDE WITH AN ARKANSAS PICNIC - 43 MORNING OBSERVATIONS IN TAYLORVILLE - - 19 HELPING THE BRIDE ALONG ... 27 OVER DIAMOND JOE'S RAILROAD : I. THE MAN, BOB, I, AND THE "RAZOR BACK" 37 II. BOB, I, AND ANOTHER MAN . - 45 III. ANOTHER KIND OF A MAN - 51 ON THE OTHER FELLOW'S TICKET - . . 61 DEATH OF THE LOVED UNKNOWN - . . 71 INTO THE MOONSHINE COUNTRY : I. I KICKED YOUR DOG . . 83 II. A PIECE OF FRIENDLY ADVICE - - 93 III. You MATCH ME ..... 103 2034586 ILLUSTRATIONS. Frontispiece. " 'Special guests of the proprietor. 1 No charges." - The Arkansas Traveller .... 13 '^So to the great amusement of the car I adopted temporarily, the orphan " - - - - 14 " We received in return a smile " 15 " 1 had left Bob asleep " ..... 2p " On the ' Gossip's Bench ' " - . . . 21 " // didn't work like his cob pipe" 23 " Bob wanted to pass the fan to the bride " - 29 ' ; Now look here,' says Bob to me" - - . 31 Everything in readiness, we struck out for the citv " 32 " ' Gentlemen, you might find it more comfortable sit- ting on my veranda ' " 38 ' The 'razor back' winked the other eye when he saw us retttrning " - - - -40 " ' You just pick me out a box of the white ones ' " 46 '' With an inquiring smile, I said to Bob : ' It's ten per day, sure ' " 53 " ' Special guests of the proprietor.' No charges " (full page) ...... 55 Riding over and back we busied ourselves figuring out what our expenses would be " 56 'A visit down the street in Houston to some of the cut rate ticket brokers " ..... 62 " I was to pass as a man with red hair, brown mus- tache and chin whiskers, a scar on the right cheek bone ------- 64 Page ' / was gently assisted over the platforms and into the car" (full page) .... 65 'Bob's voice I could hear, as he told the conductor of the sick friend who occupied ' Lower Number Six '" 67 'They find themselves seated opposite each other at dinner table " - - 73 ' There he stood in his long linen duster, hat in hand, smiling " - - - - - . 75 ' He chewed the end of an unlit cigar, and was look- ing with a far-away, sad expression out of the window " 77 ' To satisfy my wavering hopes, I read again and again the letter " - - - - 85 ' ; Want a hotel, young feller ? ' says he. ' Only one here '" 87 ' ' Now slope with me, young one ! ' " - - 88 ' With a jerk of his thumb over his shoulder, the clerk indicated where the boss could be found " 95 '// whole car I adopted, tempora- rily, the orphan." A RIDE WITH AN ARKANSAS PICNIC. day's efforts and having perfect confidence in her newly made acquaintances, also goes peacefully to sleep. The remaining baby, left to fall from the arms of the helpless sleeper, is in imminent peril. I reasoned with myself thus, if Bob had nerve enough to cap- ture one of the twins while the mother was awake, I certainly am entitled to the other when 1 find it asleep and in danger. So to the great amusement of the whole car I adopted, tem- porarily, the orphan. The mother slept peace- fully on, dreaming of the "pink lemonade " and the "hot tomales" passed around at the picnic, 'til a rude call from the porter announcing the end of the ride for the Sunday School, the sleeping woman awoke startled. With a Chesterfieldian bo w we gave back the chil- dren and in return received a smile, which meant more from this grateful mother than the remark we often hear in higher society, "Oh, thank you, very kind of you I am sure." We received in return a smile.'' A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. I saw him in a lonely room, A-pacing to and fro; His step was hurried and he paused From time to time in woe. His face was buried in his hands, His tears fell thick and fast; "Oh, from these tortured eyes," cried he, " Has peace forever passed ? " I shared his grief: the poignant words Came sobbing from his heart, And so I tried with sympathy Some solace to impart. But all he said was, "Ne'er like me May you make this avowal I've washed my face with yellow soap And cannot find a towel ! " 16 Morning Observations in Taylorville. Morning Observations in Taylorville. WAS prompted by one of those stray ideas that carelessly wander through your mind at times, feeling perfectly safe that they will never be detained, because of the indifference or inability of the pos- sessor of that mind to catch on to a "good thing." This particular idea was to get up early, and board a morning train which passed through Decatur at sunrise on its way to St. Louis, and get off at Taylorville, a distance of about thirty miles down the road. I could then, after waiting two hours for the business part of the town to awaken, have an hour in which to pass the time with the unsuspecting (?) mer- chants, and incidentally have them admit, after a careful manipulation of the conver- sation, that they needed something, in my line. 19 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. I had left Bob asleep, but he was car- rying on an animated controversy with a couple of persistent flies, who always in- sist that "drum- mer s" are entitled to all there is to be had for their money at cheap hotels. I left word at the of- fice that, as a penal- ty for his not being wakeful and atten- tive to business, he could pay my bills 1 / had left Bo6 asleep.' and carry my baggage to the depot, and I \vould be on the train we had planned to take the night before, which would leave Decatur at ten o'clock in the morning. Walking from the station, which was an eighth of a mile outside of the town of Taylorville, that lovely Summer's morn- ing, with nobody to talk to nor any noise to disturb me, it seemed a good chance to observe things. The first observation was that the sun was up just far enough to show the sparkling of the dew on the broad leaves of corn which could be seen for miles around the town. Corn raising was the in- dustry in that section. The people you met talked about corn, they lived on corn, and corn growing was their only business. And thus it was when a new-comer pranced into town at that time of morning in the corn growing season carrying an indis- putable air and manner about him that plainly said, "Well! the whole country is 20 MORNING OBSERVATIONS IN TAYLORVILLE. not engaged in corn raising," that three of the "oldest citizens" \vere surprised 011 the "gossip's bench." Taylorville was then composed of one principal square, having one-story buildings fronting on all sides. The centre of the square is used for an open market-place and hitching posts for farm teams. Sitting in front of one of these buildings, which had a lean-to roof as an awning over the sidewalk, were three typical old characters of that region ; one chewed the end of a straw, one whittled a stick, and 21 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. all three wore the same style of clothing, cut from the bolt of blue jeans at the cor- ner store. All three were tall, thin, and sat with the grapevine twist to their legs. " Good morning, gentlemen," I said, as I walked briskly up to them. "Could you tell me where I can find the hotel ? " Each looked at the other, one made as though to speak, then the third man said : "You might try over thar." I hurried over the street and found what served as a hotel. Leaving my order for a breakfast of ham and eggs, (the standing order when in doubt as to the cuisine de- partment), I sallied forth again, this time in search of a barber. Meeting my acquaintances once more, I inquired for the town barber. The spokesman this time untwined his legs, and giving me a look ofcuiious interest, said: " I think I kin show you." "Come along," I said, "looks to be a fine day." " Good growin' corn weather," says he. Arriving at the door of the barber shop, I saw a case of cigars inside. " Will you smoke, sir ? " I inquired. With a childish bashfulness he accepted the cigar, with a light, which I handed him. Turning to prepare for the shave, I re- moved my coat, collar and tie. , Then glancing back at my new found friend, I saw he was having trouble. The end of the cigar was all ablaze, but despite the tremendous efforts he made, no smoke was visible from 22 MORNING OBSERVATIONS IN TAYLOKVILLE. the right end of the cigar. He had just dis- covered the " durn thing" didn't work like his cob pipe. I turned away to hide my amusement he had failed to bite off the end of the cigar. I saw in the mirror that he, thinking no one was looking, quickly stumped out the fire, placed the cigar carefully in the pocket of his blue jean trousers and hurried out to investigate further while hoeing among the rows of corn, promising himself never to let another new- comer disturb his peaceful thoughts. It didn't work like Ms cnb pipe." Helping the Bride Along. Helping the Bride Along. |NE of the incidents which become familiar to the constant traveller is the encountering of wedding parties, with the attendant "send off" by friends at the railroad stations, and the showers of rice thrown in at the windows upon the other passengers. Such experiences hap- pening to the same persons at frequent in- tervals during a trip, are calculated to de- stroy the pretty romances and visions of cupids which flutter about the bridal pair. By the quick-eyed salesman, all the little ruses ad opted by newly- wed couples to con- ceal from the travelling public their identity as bride and groom, are seen through at a glance. 27 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. On the occasion of which I write, it was not the customary tactics of wedding couples which interested Bob and myself, but rather the peculiarities of the groom, his dress, and more particularly, the atti- tude he assumed toward his bride and fel- low passengers. His self-consciousness, and above all, his boorishness toward his pretty companion, were so apparent that the sympathies of the nearby passengers were soon enlisted with his "better half." The groom (who, by the way, sat oppo- site us) evidently had a few points in mind which he felt necessary to impress upon the company. The first was that he had just been married, the second, that he had on his best clothes, and thirdly, he wanted no interference with his bride by outsiders. It was this last named resolution that Bob "ran up against" principally, in his efforts to "help the bride along." He seemed to be one of those fellows who are unwilling to admit with an easy grace that the surroundings and situations are new to them and that they would be glad to receive any little suggestions or informa- tion to be had from their fellow travellers, but who rather assume an air of "know- ing it all " which is a certain indication of ignorance. As to the second point, it may first be re- marked that June weddings in Arkansas might be more popular if the contracting parties would adopt a travelling trousseau suited to the demands of the climate. The middle of June down there is a warm time, 28 HELPING THE BRIDE ALONG. and a favorite costume of the male sex, which allows for a certain amount of style and a whole lot of comfort, is made up of a black lustre coat, a pair of light-weight trousers, negligee shirt, low shoes and straw hat. But as for our groom's attire, suffice it to say that he was done up in a very warm black, a rural high hat with a sack coat, " Bob wanted to pass thtfan to the brttle." black kid gloves, a turn-do wn collar and a watch chain which would have done coup- ling service for the train. After riding along for a half hour, the heat and dust in the car seemed almost un- 29 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. bearable, and our neighbor looked more aggressive each time we glanced his way. Bob wielded a large sized palm-leaf fan, and having besides the proper kind of cloth- ing for comfort, we seemed to get along very well. Bob wanted to pass the fan to the bride, but each time he looked her wa\ r he met the discouraging look of her ' ' liege lord." Not to be baffled, at length he reached across the aisle and politely of- fered her the fan. As the groom was hesi- tating \vhether it might give him more trouble to accept it, the lady smiled and thanked him for his thoughtfulness. We were proceeding along our way with- out further incident when suddenly the train came to an unexpected stop. Hurrying out, I found that the tracks ahead were blockaded by a freight wreck, and that we were three miles distant from Little Rock. A few enterprising cabbies had driven out from the city, and they were quickly appro- priated by those in the forward cars. We soon realized that we must get some conveyance to carry our sample trunks into town or the day would be entirely lost, our competitors thus gaining a day's lead on us. We were not in despair long, however, for not many moments later Bob espied approaching an old horse and weather- beaten wagon with a colored driver. Swooping down on the inoffensive old nig- ger, we took possession of his outfit. No argument was made over the price, nor did we tell what we wanted the rig for. I drove the wagon up to the end of the train 30 HELPING THE BRIDE ALONG. where the baggage-car stood, and together we hustled our trunks in. We had just turned about to make the start for Little Rock and the hotel, when ' Now look here, 1 says Bob to me. there beside the wreck we beheld a picture of helplessness, the bride and her "Jonah," the groom. "Now look here," says Bob to me, "I don't think it right to leave this poor girl 31 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES Everything in readiness, we struck i Singing through the forests, Rattling over ridges; Shooting under arches, Rumbling over bridges; Whizzing through the mountains, Buzzing o'er the vale, Bless me ! this is pleasant, Riding on the rail ! Men of different " stations " In the eye of fame, Here are very quickly Coming to the game; High and lowly people, Birds of every feather, On a common level, Travelling together. John G. Saxe. HELPING THE BRIDE ALONG. out here with that 'chump' of a husband. If we do she will have to lead him all the way to town afoot. ' ' So throwing aside furtheV ceremony, Bob goes up to the couple and sharply demands from the fellow the check for their trunk. Two valises comprised their baggage, and ourcolored man placed them in the wagon. Bob, meanwhile, gallantly helped the bride over the wheel and seated her upon the sample trunk, the groom still sullenly act- ing as though things should be different, but not even removing his black kid gloves to help load the baggage. Everything in readiness, we struck out for the city. After we had gone about two miles, we came across the street-car track. Seeing in the distance a mule-car approaching, we then suggested to the bride that perhaps it would be pleasanter for her to take the groom aboard the car, and we \vould guar- antee the safe delivery of the valises at the hotel if she could look after her husband. Over Diamond Toe's Railroad. < I. The Man, Bob, I, and the '"Razor Back/ II. Bob, I, and Another Man, III. Another Kind of a Man, The Man, Bob, I, and the " Razor Back.' spent several weeks in Arkansas travelling aimlessly about, only now and then making a sale of goods. It was very necessary to procure some orders to accompany the frequent requests we made on our firms for remittances to pay our daily expenses. The orders themselves (needless to say) were never very large; but the promises for better results, should we be allowed to come again, were of a very roseate hue. Before leaving the scenes of our late ex- ploits, we \vere desirous of visiting the one place of interest which takes rank far and 37 ./ DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. above anything else in the state, or in fact the whole United States. It is known as the Monte Carlo of America, the Mecca of the gambler, the retreat of the invalid, Memrn, you might find it more comfortaM,' sitting on my veranda,:' and the delight of the pleasure tourist the Hot Springs of Arkansas. Malvern Junction is the name of the sta- tion where Diamond Joe's narrow gauge railroad emerges from the grim mountain 38 THE MAN, BOB, /, AND THE "RAZOR BACK." defiles and connects with the Iron Moun- tain R. R. system. Here is where our ex- periences began as tourists for pleasure. We had about an hour to wait before the train of narrowly-built cars would leave to take us through the rocky passes to Hot Springs. We loitered about the station, looking at the axle grease frying in the Summer's sun on the car tracks, while the "razor back" hogs critically nosed our baggage on the platform. Very soon we were approached by a man who looked not at all like the Mary's Lit- tle Lamb variety, but the soft gentleness of his voice as he volunteered a remark, was the cause for both a surprise and an uneasiness to us later on. He said : " Gentlemen, you might find it morecom- ibrtable sitting on my veranda till the train arrives." We looked across the tracks and saw a very unpretentious, low front, rough board structure, with a sign over the door which read, "Railroad Hotel." The stranger seeming so very kind, and we not being com- fortable where we were, we took in the bait and strolled across. We had no more than settled ourselves on his rough benches when a voice from the rear fell upon our unsuspecting ears so rough and full of ominous meaning that we looked up with a start to see who the ruffian might be. Imagine our surprise when standing over us, we recognized our solicitous friend of the lamb-like gentleness. He had announced that supper was ready and we had just ten minutes in which to 39 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. eat it. There was no doubting his mean- ing, it was simply this, he wanted a dol- lar apiece out of us ! I looked at Bob, he looked at the man, then both of us started for the dining-room. Nothing was said and a very little was eaten. We paid over the money without even the privilege of registering a single objection, then calmly walked back again across the tracks to the 40 THE MAN, BOB, /, AND THE -RAZOR BACK." railroad platform. I knocked my fist against the open palm of my other hand, Bob showed his white teeth, and the "razor back" winked the other eye as he saw us returning. II. Bob, I, and Another Man. Bob, I, and Another Man. JFTER gathering together our shat- tered courage and seeing our bag- gage put aboard the train, the start was made for Hot Springs. Some young sports of the neighborhood stood on the plat- form of the car and discharged their re- volvers at whatever chanced to take their fancy, so that from the beginning of this short ride events of interest followed one another in quick succession. Bob and I were conversing in whispers over our treatment at the hands of the hotel-keeper at Malvern Junction and wondering what would be the nature of the next experience, when we became con- scious that somebodvwas standing at our 45 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. side awaiting recognition. Looking up, we saw a large man with a flowing black beard, wide-rimmed felt hat, broad shouldered, and wearing a pair of blue gog- gles. But for a sign hanging across his breast which read, "Help the Blind," we might have taken him for a prosperous native Arkansan. A large tray hung suspended by a strap around his neck, containing several small crates of long blackberries. He edged his way into our cross-seat, sat himself " Ton justplck me out a box of the white ones." clown comfortably, and immediately began to talk to us in an interesting manner, knowing apparently our vocation in life, and the section of the country from which we came. Bob, whose suspicions had been aroused by the recent happenings, did not intend this time to be so easily worked for "a 46 BOB, 7, AND ANOTHER MAN. tenderfoot," so he ventured the query, ' ' Selling berries ? ' ' "Yes; won't you buy a box ? They are fresh," he suavel~y replied. There were boxes of blacks and other boxes mixed with white blackberries. "Are the blacks and whites the same price ? " says Bob. "Yes, the same price, stranger," said he. "Well," answered Bob, "you just pick me out a box of the white ones while I hunt for my change." The trick was superbly worked. The fake " blind man " quickly selected the box of white blackberries from his tray, but just as quickly discovered the trap he had fallen into. Just then the train pulled into Hot Springs, thus saving the " sharp " any further embarrassment. On inquiry, we learned at the station that this poor blind man was the most successful "bunco steerer" and gambler in the town. 47 III. Another Kind of a Man. Another Kind of a Man. I HE adventures we had met with since we started on our little pleasure trip were not calculated to inspire a great amount of confidence in the acquaintances we were making in that particular section, and thus it happened when Bob was ap- proached in a familiar manner by a gentle- man who said that he hailed from the same town as he did, back in Ohio, that he was inclined to resent his advances. This gentleman informed us that he was the proprietor of one of the best hotels in the place and that for old acquaintance sake he would be pleased to entertain us during our stay at Hot Springs. We hesi- tated before accepting the invitation, both 51 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. of us thinking very hard of what dangers, if any, we would be subjected to should we accept. Knowing that we would be as safe in one hotel as another, however, -we decided to take our chances with Bob's friend. Our hand bags were taken in charge by the 'bus man, who drove us rapidly to the large and prosperous looking hotel of which Bob's acquaintance was the pro- prietor. The sumptuous offices and luxu- riously furnished parlors which were visible from the clerk's desk, at which we were writing our names upon the register, had a panicky effect upon our spirits. I myself thought I could see five dollars per day, easily, charged for our accommodations, even though we might secure the lowest priced apartments. The clerk received a word of instruction from his employer which was sufficient to start us immediately toward the rooms assigned to us upon the second floor. We were not held with the other arrivals to await the pleasure of the room clerk mag- nate. We were shown up to two of the best rooms in the house. The inviting enameled bath tubs, soft carpeted floors, the immac- ulately white linen which covered the double beds, and the bevelled French plate mirrors that reflected our full-sized figures, caught our attention in a second of time. We dismissed the colored porter, \vith a liberal tip. His manner toward us had very plainly indicated that no one who could be so rash as to engage those particu- 52 ANOTHER KIND OF A MAN. lar rooms would dare to bow him out with a smile and a promise. The door closed, we each turned and silently walked toward the centre of the room. My hands were pushed down deep into my trouser pockets. It was very evi- " With an inquiring smllt, I said to Bob: 'It's ten per Hay, sure.'" dent that we were not in any easy state of mind. With an inquiring smile, I said to Bob: " It's ten per day, sure." "Well, don't it look to be cheap even at that?" said he. "We will have money some day, and I intend to make these peo- 53 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES.- pie around this place think we have plent}' of the 'golden clinkers' right now." Our rooms were sumptuously furnished such elegance we had not been accustomed to for weeks. Comparing our appearance to the furnishings of our quarters, it would be very apparent that we were either a couple of foreign aristocrats travelling in disguise, or by accident had gotten into the wrong place. Hurriedly travelling from place to place, putting up with poor hotel accommodations, suffering all kinds of dis- comforts from the intense heat, it is not to be wondered at that we should have lost considerable in personal attractiveness. The large mirrors showed our full figures. Our alpaca coats, once black, were now a sunburnt brown and badly wrinkled, trou- sers bagged at the knees, linen soiled, while our straw hats would be rejected at a Bowery cleaning establishment. Our pride w as touched. We recalled that at home we enjoyed a reputation of being among the first to "catch on " to the new fads in men's attire as they came out. And why shouldn't we occupy fine apartments ? We were just as nice people, if they only knew it, as any who came to that hotel, and thus -we argued. Like a man whist- ling while going through a graveyard at night he wasn't scared at all oh, no ! The same with us, as we speculated on the price of the rooms. We weren 't scared. Uneasy though just a bit nervous. Our trunks by this time had reached the rooms, and we immediately began to re- new acquaintance with our wardrobe. 54 ANOTHER KIND Of A MAN. ' .w.clal guests of the proprietor. ' Xo charget. " A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. The balance of the evening, before the eight o'clock dinner, we spent very creditably to ourselves, and after we had been seated in the dining-room a rapid survey of the guests was made. After which Bob re- marked, as he squared his shoulders and stuck out his chest : "Come, old pal, you flap your wings and crow, or else I will." l Riding over and bacJc we busted oursciwsjiynring out what ' expenses would &." The next morning being Sunday, we were offered the private horse and carriage of the proprietor, to take a drive over to the adjoining springs, a distance of five miles each way. Riding over and back we busied ourselves figuring out what pur ex- penses would be, provided our invitation was of the same nature as those we al- 56 ANOTHER KIND OF A MAN. ready had extended to us during the past twenty-four hours. As worrying over the matter would not allow us to enjoy our beautiful and luxurious surroundings, we decided to leave ourselves in the hands of our friends or enemies, whichever they might prove to be, and settle up accord- ingly. Monday morning came all too soon. We had enjoyed ourselves immensely. As we came up to the office desk of the hotel pre- pared to settle up, we were informed by the polite clerk, whose face wore a broad grin, that we were entered on the books as "special guests of the proprietor." No charges. 57 On the Other Fellow's Ticket. On the Other Fellow's Ticket. 1ERY often, in Texas, the situation pre- sents itself disagreeably before the commercial traveller in this form : that his railroad fare from place to place is ex- ceeding the profits on sales. It is then that the spirit of economy seizes hold upon the troubled salesman, and he looks about him for the first opportunity to cut down ex- penses. Hotel charges, Pulman car luxuries and the railroad ticket, each now comes in for a turn in this painful process. Such was the predicament of Bob and me when, after several weeks of light busi- ness in the state, with our daily expenses running high, we found ourselves in a state of mind where we were inclined to take desperate chances. 61 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. The daily train over the Sunset Route from San Antonio arrived in Houston at six o'clock in the evening. Stopping there for supper and a change of engines it then hastens on its way to New Orleans. Bob and I had figured up our expendi- tures for Galveston and Houston, consist- ing of our hotel accommodations, together with a few souvenirs we had purchased at the beach in Galves- ton, and we found that we had cash in hand, just enough to buy one straight ticket to New Orleans. To many, this would have been a rather awk- ward position to be placed in, but we did not see it in that way. We both had our watches with us, and there was no reason why they should not travel with a "C.O.D." tag attached to them, forward in the express car, as they had often done before, while their own- ers lounged in the parlor car assuming the air of an Eastern capitalist. Bob was a man who believed in having several cards to play. The watches were the last card played in all cases. A visit down the street in Houston to " A visit dovm the street in Hous- ton to some of the cut rate ticket broken." ON THE OTHER FELLOW'S TICKET. some of the cut rate ticket brokers left Bob in possession of two tickets. They read originally from El Paso to New Orleans, the coupon calling for the distance between El Paso and Houston having already been used and detached, and the time limit ex- pired on the following day. This limit as to time was not the only objection or undesirability of the "job lot "of transportation Bob had secured. They each had carefully written upon them a detailed description of the original buy- ers, who had signed an agreement with the railroad company that, on account of the reduced price under which they were sold, they could only be used by the original pur- chaser, etc. The points of identification on one of the tickets would allow Bob to pass on it without creating any suspicions as to his not being the original purchaser. As I read over the description on my ticket of the man whom I was supposed to represent, I was prepared to meet, to a reasonable limit, any little defects nature had overlooked in my make up which would allow me to pass as the aver- age commonplace traveller, but the marks of recognition its first owner set down there on that ticket w as a picture in " black and white "which very few of our later day artists would even attempt to draw, certainly much less attempt to imperson- ate. I asked Bob if he had read my descrip- tion. " Of course not," said he, "the price is all A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. that I was interested in. Didn't I get the two tickets for the price of one ? All the rest will be easy enough -just bluff it through, old man. What do you care whether he had red hair or not? " It then dawned upon me that Bob was fully acquainted with the undertaking I had on hand. I was to pass on the trip as a man over the usual height, with red hair, brown mus- tache and chin whiskers, a scar on the right cheek bone, and weighing one hundred and thirty -eight pounds. The inventory oi my own appearance, if correctly taken, would read: height five feet eleven inches, black hair, black moustache, and weight, one hundred and sixty-five pounds. Bob announced at this juncture in the proceedings that no comparisons would be allowed in this particular case. His contention was exactly this : that I had been ill for several days in fact at that very minute I should be confined to mv 64 ON THE OTHER FELLOWS TICKET. "I was gently assisted over the platforms and Into the car A DRUMMERS IARLOR STORIES. room and bed, and a close watch kept over me. For the next twelve hours he, Bob, was to be my nurse and physician. After hearing my case so ably discussed, I began to think I really did need care as well as protection. The time had arrived for the start to the train. Although it was understood that I was a very sick man, Bob insisted that I was to carry my share of the hand bags as far as the depot. My "little act" was to begin after our arrival at the station. Un- der Bob's direction the colored porters in charge of the car in which our berths were located, came hurriedly into the waiting- room, and seeing the helpless and woe-be- gone appearance I had "put up," imme- diately singled me out as the sick passen- ger in " Lower Number Six." I was gent\y assisted over the platforms and into the car, where Bob hurriedly got me into bed and out of sight of curious eyes. The closeness and stuffiness of parlor car berths even under the most favorable con- ditions are bad, but think of being shut up in one with the temperature registering one hundred and ten degrees in the shade ! But I was in for it and had to help Bob get me through. To make matters w r orse, we had been told that the ticket "spot- ters" had just been over the road, and all conductors were on the "lookout." The train was quickly speeding on its way toward New r Orleans, w r ith Bob on sentry duty outside my berth curtains. Now and then in answer to my questions as to how long he expected me to roast in 66 ON THE OTHER FELLOW'S TICKET. that oven, he would gruffly command me to " get back into your cage there and shut up," or to "forget the heat" or "duck your head there, old chap." Presently there came a sound to my ears Bob's voice I could hear, as lie told ihe conductor of the sick friend who occupied ' Lower lumber Six.' " which, from the earnestness of the tones of the voices, warned me that my case was up before the conductor. Bob's voice I could hear, above the roar of the car, as he told the conductor of the sick friend who occupied "Lower Number Six," whose 67 A DRUMMER' S PARLOR STORIES. ticket he could present with his own, and would he be kind enough to allow the porter to help him safely carry his friend to a comfortable conveyance when we reached New Orleans. The conductor said he would do all in his power to make the sick man comforta- ble, and he would also telegraph ahead to the company to have, when the train reached our destination, one of the invalid rolling chairs meet the car. As soon as the sound of the voices died away, I got out from under the covers, just in time to meet Bob's grinning face pushed in between the curtains. All he said was "Say Pop, you owe me the price of a ticket from Houston to New Orleans." Death of the Loved Unknown. Death of the Loved Unknown. [HE friendships and acquaintances ex- |] isting among the travelling salesmen are interesting and remarkable in many ways. The formality of an introduction is very seldom resorted to, and oftentimes acquaintances are kept up for several years without either knowing the other's name, greeting when they meet with, say," Hello, there, 'Hard ware! '"or "How-de-do, 'Col- lars and Cuffs,' I haven't run across you in a year ! " and if the routes of each be in a different direction it may be another year before these particular two meet again. It may be, though, in three months that they find themselves seated opposite each other at dinner table in some hotel or rail- 71 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. road-eating house. Then a cordial greeting again is exchanged, an inquiry as to busi- ness may be passed, and good wishes ex- tended on each side for future success. No particular inquiry has been made as to what city each hailed from originally, or what cither's name might be, yet a friend- ship is developing. During the intervening time both have been successful in standing the severe test of success " on the road," and unconsciously one finds a place in the heart and estimation of the other. Possibly if chance throws them together again they may be guilty of the pastime of exchang- ing names. My readers, then, can readily understand how it could be that, on one of the Southern circuit trips of our party of eight salesmen whom (outside of Bob and myself) chance and amiability had brought together, we could be thoroughly well acquainted with- out knowing the full names of each indi- vidual. Billie Robinson, who sold fine jewelery, was known as "Billie the Pearl, "and when the sad misfortune which snatched poor Billie from our very arms into eternity, overtook our little band of big-hearted, congenial comrades, no casual observer could fail to feel that the death of the " Loved Unknown " was mourned with a silent grief only possible among broad- minded, tender-hearted, charitable fel- lows. Billie had become a general favorite. Unassuming, retiring in his manner , gentle- manly and kind, he always had a pleas- 72 " DEATH OF THE LOVED UNKNOWN. ant smile and a cheering word for us all. We all liked Billie. Many might wonder how a person of his description could succeed in the capacity of salesman "on the road," but a close ob- neyflna themselves seated opposite each other at Mnner table." server of character could easily explain the secret of his success. It was in his con- scientious work. He believed his firm manu- factured the best jewelerj' on the market; they had entrusted him with the sale of it, and his convictions coupled with his cour- 73 A DRUMMER'S PARLOR STORIES. age and natural talents had made him a success in his business and a man beloved by his companions. It was in Memphis, Tennessee, in the lat- ter part of June, our little party of tourists was to meet at the six o'clock evening train on a large float guided by two pow- erful tugs which crossed the Mississippi River to the Arkansas side. The river at this point is several miles wide, and during high tide the current is swift and danger- ous. It was Billie's turn to do "satchel duty " i. e., to see that the hand baggage of each in the company had been brought from the depot to the hotel and put aboard the train. This arrangement gave every saleman (except the one on duty) a chance to give the full time to business, catching the train from -whatever point in the city he chanced to be in. On this fateful evening three of the pas- senger coaches were detached from the train and backed down upon one of the tracks on the float. Billie, with the hand- bags, was forward in the coach which was coupled with the smoker and baggage car still upon the main line. Before his section of the train w as sent down upon the launch, we had all stepped off the car platform of our train section upon the deck, and stood commenting upon the swollen and dangerous appearance of the river as, filled with logs and driftwood from up the coun- try, it swept angrily past. We were warned of the approach of the second section of our train bv Billie, who 74 DEATH OF 77/7? LOVED UNKNOIVX. shouted from the rear platform, " Out of the way, fellows, and give the expresrman a chance. ' ' We all looked up in admiration of our favorite. There he stood in his long linen duster, hat in hand, smiling and " There he. alnnd in h! a Intm Ihi.'n ,ti