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 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 Kenneth Macgowan 
 
 8061 "IZ 'NVI IW 
 ■jiI^O 'ao;Ji3o;s 
 
 •3UI ''SOJa p.lOjXBQ 
 
 jspuig 
 
 junoLUoqjn
 
 I'll 
 
 NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 
 
 5aher'5 Edition 
 ^ or Pl7\y>3 e 
 
 e Obstinate Family 
 
 Price, 15 Cents 
 
 ••rrRISHT, 1M«, BY WALTIR M. BAKM 4 •»
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 (Theatre Royal, Sadler's Wells, February 2lst, 1853.) 
 
 Mr. Harwood, Harford's father-in-law, Mr. Barrett. 
 
 Mns. llxRwooiy, Harford s moiher-in-law, Mrs. 1£. Marston. 
 
 Henry Harford, Mr. F. Robinson. 
 
 Jessy Harford, his uife, Miss T. Bassano. 
 
 J AiiiKS, Harford's servant, Mr. Lewis Ball. 
 
 Lucy, a servant Miss Eliza Travers. 
 
 SCENE. — A Villa at Richmond. 
 
 COSTUMES OF THE DAY. 
 
 Time in Representation, Forty Minutes.
 
 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 
 
 SCENE. — A room t'm Harford's VM'i, with windows to the ground, leadiiig 
 on, to the Lawn, with view of the cotintry heynnd—A table partly laid for 
 luncheon, c. — Side-table with nevjspaper, L. c. — Sofa, k. c. — Eight chairs 
 — Doors B. 2 E. and L. 2 E. — .4.3 the curtain ascends, James is discovered 
 humming an air, and placing the chairs round the table. 
 
 Lucy (without, L. H.). James, James, open the door ! 
 
 f James opens the door, l. 2 e. and Lucy enters with a dish in each hand, 
 ^ L. 2 E.) 
 
 James. Allow me to assist you. 
 
 (Jb/ies a di^hfrom hir, and, a? she places the other on the table, he passes his 
 arm around her waist and kisses her — ^Vie crosses to R.) 
 
 Lucy (r). James, fie, sir I What if any one should see you ? 
 
 James (l.). Is there any chance of that? 
 
 Lucy. Yes, master may pop in any minute from V.:e garden. 
 
 Jam3S. But consider, Lucy, my name is Bunks, and that you face- 
 tiously call me the busy B; consequently, iu my ilittiiiKS about, I'm 
 privilcf^ed to sip tlie honeyed sweetness from off those lips. 
 
 Lucy. I've no objection to that, James, but if master saw you — 
 
 James. "Well, wliat if he did ? 
 
 Lucy. I phould expire for very shame, James. 
 
 Jamss. Why ? he kisses his wife often enough, for lie has only 
 been married three months. 
 
 Lucy. Yes, ids wife. Now, if you were my husband — 
 
 James. Ah I how lon<i will it be before 1 am ? 
 
 "Lncy {si (jhing). Goodness only knows! 
 
 James {emhracivg her). At all events, longer than you have any de- 
 sire to wait. {Placing hisarin aroxnd her ^vaist.) 
 
 Lucy (breaking away). Don't s;.eak so certain of what you know 
 notiilng about. 
 
 (Both arrange the table, fetching glasses, etc., from side-table. Henry Har- 
 ¥ORD comes from the lawn, remains at the window unperceived, and listens.) 
 
 3 
 
 572614
 
 4 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 
 
 Iiucy. Master's father and mother-in-law are roming to InneVieott. 
 James. Yes, and to rejoice lu the happiness of tiie young couple. 
 Lucy, I can't say taat I can give you a father-in-law. 
 Lucy. That is of no consequence. 
 
 James. Besides, T think we should find ourselves quite sufficient fof 
 one another, without fathers or mothers in-law. There, thank goodness^ 
 the table is spread ! 
 Lucy. Ye*5. 
 James. What? 
 Lucy. Nothing. I said yes. 
 
 James. Well, that is nothing. {Aside.) I'll come the authoritative. 
 [Aloud.) You must also say that — ( Tliey come forward.) 
 Lucy. Say what? 
 
 James. " Tiiauk goodness, the table is spread." 
 Lucy. Why? 
 
 Jamas. Why— he-cause — be-cause — you must. 
 Lucy. How stupid. 
 
 James. When one has finished anything it is customary and proper 
 to say — thank goodness that is finished. 
 Lucy. Go along with your nonsense. 
 
 James. It is not nonsense. Y^ou must not have such a will of yonr 
 own, Lucy. [Softly.) Now, there's a dear, do say thank goodness, the 
 tahle is spread. 
 Lucy. No! 
 
 James. If you love me, do! 
 Lucy. I won't. 
 
 Jamas [gelling avgry). You won't? 
 Lucy. I won't. 
 
 James, When I a^^k you to do anything, can you say no ? 
 Lucy. Y^es, yes ! and if you were ti) ask me ten times, I'd still do so. 
 James. Wliat am 1 to think of that ? 
 Lucy. Whatever you please. 
 
 James. Allow me to ask tea limes and still be ansvyered in the 
 negative! 
 
 Lucy. Yes, if vou were to ask anything so foolish. 
 James. It is not foolish, but that is not the question now; you 
 shall say it simply because I wish it! 
 Lucy. I won't say it. 
 James (in a th'eatening tone). Lucy ! 
 Lucy [imiialing him). James! 
 James. Now, you must say it. 
 Lucy. I must, must I ? , 
 J p.nies [decidedly). Y''es! I command it. 
 
 Lucy. Why, surely the man is dreaming, or got out of bed wrong 
 foot foremost thio morning ! 
 
 James. No joking — I'm in earnest. Y'ou shall say, " Thank good- 
 ness, the table is spread."
 
 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 5 
 
 liucy. I sluiU and must, eh? 
 James. Yes, yi u shall and must. 
 Lucy. jSow, tlien, 1 won't do it. 
 
 James (tnjin;/ to keep down his anger). Lucy, I beg you will. 
 Lucy. 1 won't. 
 
 James. For the last time I ask you. 
 
 Lucy. I u on'l — 1 won t, no, not even if you were to stand upon your 
 head and ask nie. 
 
 James. We shall see! 
 
 {They walk across the stage angrily.) 
 
 liMcy {folding her arm^). Well, we sliall see ! 
 
 James (angrily snaking his finger ill h'T fane}. You will refuse my 
 request, and will perversely persist in your obstinacy. 
 
 Lucy. Y^es, yes ! 
 
 James. Let's try. {Takes hold of her wrists.) Now, then, say it- 
 say, " Thunk goodne.-s, the table is spread I" 
 
 Lucy. Oil, oil! ( Breaks aw<iy.) Oh! you brute — to squeeze mc sol 
 but, 1 haven't said it. 
 
 Jamas. Well, consider everything at an end between us I 
 
 Lucy. Very well, sir ! 
 
 James. And can yon give me up so easily ? 
 
 Lucy. Yes, if you are such a stupid. 
 
 James {scornfully). But, you can yet prove yourself to be more 
 than woman by not continuing obsthiate, and saying it ! 
 
 Lucy. Cut, I wont! I won't I I won't! There then. 
 
 James (passionately). Then go to {Bell rings.) — your mistress's 
 
 room, for that is her bell ! 
 
 Lucy {going). I've not finished with you yet, my gentleman. 
 
 James (rims after, and takes hold of her dress). Now, Lucy, " Thank 
 goodness, the table is spread !" 
 
 IjVLcy {stamps her foot). No! (7szi< R. 2 E.) 
 
 James. Obstinacy — as I think a distant relation of the King of 
 Denmark says in the play—" thy name is woman." Request ! entreatv ! 
 threatening! force ! ail, all in vain ! If I was to tell her that I would 
 kill her, I wonder if she would say it! 
 
 Henry {coming forward). Whether she would or no, pray let her 
 live. 
 
 James. Sir, I did mt think — You've heard 
 
 Hen. Something of your and Lucy's dispute, yes. She is an obsti- 
 nate girl, James. 
 
 James. Yes, sir ; but otherwise she is an uncommon nice young 
 woman. But I can't tell whit is in the girl's head to day. 
 
 Hen. That is a problem that the wisest have been unable to solve, 
 SO don't bother yourself about it ; but go and see to the wine. 
 
 {Retires up K.)
 
 6 The obstinate faMIlT. 
 
 James (crosses to i.., aside). I must be firm, she shall and must say 
 it, " Tliank goodness, the table is spread." 
 
 (Exit L. 2 E.) 
 
 Hen. I think that was my wife's bell, so she must have come in from 
 her walk. Ah, here she is I 
 
 {Enter Jessy r. 2 e.) 
 
 — Your Widk has done you good, love ; you have got quite a color, and 
 look cliarraing. 
 
 Jes. Flattery ! but Henry you must really give it up. Recollect, we 
 have been married for three months, so that it is time you should ap- 
 pear in the character of a husband, and give up 2)laying the jiart of a 
 lover. 
 
 Hen. Do you desire that ? 
 
 Jes. W!iy, ail tlie world says that you men change with marriage, 
 and I must make up my mind to put up witli it, and tiie longer you 
 delay making this change the greater difficulty I shall have in recon- 
 ciling myself to it when it does happen. 
 
 Hen. But you shall never find any difference in my conduct, dear 
 wife. I sliall never change, precious ! 
 
 Jes. >>ind I will never give you cause to do so, darling ! (Shaking 
 hunits very cnrdially.) 
 
 Hen. I believe you are the dearest creature on earth, and you ful- 
 fill my every wish almost before I give them utterance. 
 
 Jes. And do you not tlie same for me? (They seat themselves, she 
 takes tip her imrk ) I wonder where my father and motlier can be, 1 
 have not seen them for nearly a fortnight, and I so long to see them. 
 
 Hen. (playing icith her work). Do you miss them, my dear? 
 
 Jes. You never thought when you asked that. 
 
 Hen. No, no ! — I was thinking of — (Laughs) — something that hap- 
 pened just now. 
 
 Jes. Well, what was it ? 
 
 Hen. Somethiui; comic in the extreme! As I stepped in from tlie 
 lawn, I heard Lucy and James amusing themselves with tlie great con- 
 versational powers with which they are gifted— out of curiosity I lis- 
 tened. When tliey had finished laying the ta'ile, .lame's, in a self-sat- 
 isfied manner, viewed the whole arrangement.s, and made use of tiie 
 natural expression, " Thank goodness, the table is spread," and as Lucy 
 had also been engaged in the work, he desired I'cr to show lier thank- 
 fulness for the completion of the task by making use of the same ex- 
 pression. 
 
 Jes. Rather imperious! 
 
 Hen. Lucy refused to sny it — James insisted on it — and out of this 
 arose a quarrel — James endeavored to compel her — while she continued 
 peremptorily to refuse. Very obstinate of Lucy, wasn't it, dear?
 
 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 7 
 
 Jes. It is rather difficult, dear, to say which of the two was most 
 
 obstinate. 
 
 Hen. But lie begged her to do it. 
 
 Jes. But it was such a iooli.sh request. 
 
 Hen. But so insiguilicant- that no justification can be found for her 
 obstinate refusal 
 
 Jes. {more warmhj). Even as little as one can find for Ajs obstinately 
 j)er-i.sting in requesting her to say it 
 
 Hen Kow do nut let us quarrel about it ! nnlbing of tlie kind can 
 ever liappen to us — for I am sure if i was u> request auyihing of }qu — 
 you would not refuse me! 
 
 Jes. ((ioubtin(f[y). Hian, bunnl 
 
 Hen. {decidtdly). I am quiie convinced you would do whatever I 
 asked you 
 
 Jes. But what if I di<l not? 
 
 Hen. What if you did not? why, that is without the verge of prob- 
 ability, so 1 won't speak of it. I would bet anything 
 
 Jes. Do not bet. 
 
 Hen. Let us put it at once to the test. 
 
 Jes [rj'i.ickly). Pray don t ! Fr;iy don't ! 
 
 Hen. Pooh, nonsense ! Dear .Jessv, 1 retjuest that you will say — 
 •' Thank go.idness, the table is spread !" 
 
 Jes. Do not he so childish. 
 
 Hen. Now. dear wife, 1 beg you will! do say — "Thank goodness, 
 the tdlile is spread !' 
 
 Jes. [striufgl LUfi with herself). Wliat a — what a foolish request I 
 {Hexitutingly.) No, no ! I will not say it. 
 
 Hen. Do, do say it. 
 
 Jes. No — no. 
 
 Hen. (rather ivnrmly). You won't say it ? 
 
 Jes. (decidedly). No! 
 
 Hen. {rining slowly from the table). And can you refuse what I re- 
 quest ? 
 
 Jes. {rifiing). But it would be so childish to say it ! 
 
 Hen. Childish or not. that's not the puiut — ii is, whether you will 
 or will not fulfill my request? 
 
 Jes Y u nre wrong in making p-uh a request. 
 
 Hen. And you act wrongly ju refusing to do what T request. 
 
 ( r.ieij bec.nvii more firm and decided.) 
 
 Jes. T act wrougly ? That is the first time that you have ever said 
 such a thing I 
 
 Hen. it is also the first time that you have refused what I re- 
 quested I 
 
 Jes. And it is the first time that you have ever requested anything 
 so thoughtless and childish I 
 
 Hea. Thoughtless — childish ! Is that the language of love ?
 
 8 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 
 
 Jes. Can he who loves entreat anything bo foolish of her he loves? 
 Hen. Entreat, Mrs. Harford? 1 have only requested I 
 
 Jes. Well, if you should entreat 
 
 Hen. Then 
 
 Jes. If you should entreat 
 
 Hen. Then, of course, you would not refuse me ! 
 Jes. Yes, even then 1 would ; for if you. entreated such a thing of 
 me, you would lessen me in my own esteem. No, I will not say it. 
 
 {Goes up to a side-table and rings bell.) 
 
 Hen. Good gracious, how angry you have become ! How decidedly 
 you oppose yourself to me I Is this the tone that a wife should use to 
 her liusband? 
 
 Jes. Is such a foolish request such a one as it becomes a husbani 
 to ask of his wife ? 
 
 {Enter Lucy, r. h.) 
 
 Jes. Lucy, I left my handkerchief in my bedroom. 
 
 {Exit Lucy k. h.) 
 
 Hen. Jessy, do not drive this, which was at first a jest, too far. 
 Jes. Do I do so ? No, sir ; it is you who cbnnge jetl into earnest 
 
 [Seats herself, and hastily snatches up her work.) 
 
 (Enter J AfiESy Ti. Tl. with decanters, which he places on the table. Lucv 
 enters k. h. with handkerchief, which she gives to Jessy; she then passi'S 
 James, who, in panloinime, asks her if she will fulfill his req'ieM; she, in 
 pantomime, refuses, and exits L. H. — J ames follows quickly, after shaking 
 his fist — Jessy continues working, with her back to the table ) 
 
 Hen. {who has been looking on to the lawn, comes forward, seats himself, 
 and takes up the newspaper, reads for a short time, then looks over it at J essy, 
 throws it down, goes to her and gently says). Well, have you thought over 
 it? W^ill you give up being obstinate? 
 
 Jes. {quickly throwing her work away). How, Mr. Harford, obstinat'?? 
 You know if there is any word that I detest it is tl-at! I am not ob- 
 stinate — and most especia'ly not so in the present instance — but } ou 
 are, for so obstinately persisting in so foolish a request. 
 
 Hen. But, Jessy, dear, understand me; it is noton this foolish re- 
 quest I lay any stress, but only on your fulfilling my desire. 
 
 Jes. Well, if it is so, I request you will not mentis rn it again. 
 
 Hen. But my request was first made, and iherefure must fir-t beat- 
 tended to. I should not liave thought it possible that you could liave 
 refused me anything 
 
 Jes. (rising). Indeed! I must never say no— always yes, yes, yes. 
 1 see, you are like all the rest of your sex ; you do not desire to have a 
 loving wife — a tender, true, and impartial helpmate — no, you desire 
 that your wife should be your slave. 
 
 4
 
 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. d 
 
 Hen. My deir, you surprise me. "What exaggeration is this ? 
 
 Jes. No, mi, bir, with your demand for implicit obedience com- 
 mences our subjection. But I never will be made a slave — no, never ! I 
 haven't read " Uncle Tom's Cabin " for nothing. 1 will assert and de- 
 fend my riglits, and neither threatening nor force shall bring me under 
 subjection 
 
 Hen. And " lie shall be thy master." 
 
 Jes. There, there, sir, was I not right? Fom will be the master, 
 liheslave — you will command, I must obey. I understand and per- 
 ceive your desire to lord it. I will obey you in all that is reasonable, 
 but not in that which is unreasomible. 
 
 Hen. (L.). Those are expressions never used to one whom' we 
 esteem. 
 
 Jes. (r.). Such requests are likewise never made to one whom we 
 esteem. 
 
 Hen. Yes, but a jest 
 
 Jes. You have made bitter earnest of it. {Cries.) Not a quarter of 
 an hour ago you said you would never change, and now there you stand 
 as cold and indifleretit as if we had been married for twenty years. 
 
 Hen. Now, now, don't cry — you know how that irritates "me. 
 
 Jes. {sobbiiui). I can't Jielp it if your condnct forces me to cry. 
 
 Hen. {ironically). Ah ! goodness ! what a villain I have already be- 
 come! I force you to cry! Oh ! wretched and much-to-be-pitied 
 woman, in that your fate has linked you to such a brute ! 
 
 Jes. Goon! go on!— add mockery to your cruelly. "Who would 
 have thought this an hour ago? I was so joyous— felt so happy — and 
 now 
 
 Hen. Do you think there are no unfortunate women in the world 
 besides yourself? 
 
 (Jessy continues crying.) 
 
 Hen. (aside). Oh I this confounded crying! if her parents should 
 come what will they think ? (Aloud.) Now, wife, now, Jessy, now dear- 
 est — come, come, let's make it up. 
 
 Jes. (taking her handkerchief from hcr'e'/es). "What, make it up? 
 
 Ken. Yes, it is foolish that we ourselves should mingle the bitter 
 with our happiness. 
 
 Jes. (softly). Do you indeed think so ? 
 
 Hen. No one can have less cause to quarrel than we. 
 
 Jes. (gently approaching him). And yet you were so cruel. 
 
 Hen. Well, well ! Now here's my hand, let's make it up ? 
 
 Jes. (slowly placing her hand in his). "Well, there — yoi! cruel fellow 
 for tormenting me so. 
 
 Hen. (gently embracing her). You know, darling, T wouldn't torment 
 you for the world ; but now, dear, as you love me, do, now, it'sall over, 
 just say those few words. 
 
 Jes. (quickly withdrawing herself ). "What I again?
 
 XO THE OBSTINATF. FAMILY. 
 
 Hen. You won't? 
 
 Jes. {gently). But, ITenry 
 
 Hen. I was the first to <,nve way, now yon must complete it. 
 
 Jes You will insist on it? Y'>u will commence this quarrel 
 ar I in? 
 
 Hen. And yon, I know, will put an end to it. Say those few words 
 aid I'm conleni. 
 
 Jjs [afli-r nhoii heulution). Once for all — no! 
 
 Hen. No! G-o^^d, j; lod— very good! You know that this trifle 
 •" •nld please me; but no. you won't do it. It may be obstinacy on my 
 )ii I to jier.sist in it; b:it love would put up with such obstinacy and 
 givfe vv:u' to if. You will itol d > so. T'lese two or tliree stupid words 
 are nothing in themselves; but by saying i hem you would give me a 
 proof of your lovi\ Go, go, and never moresav tliat you love me. 
 
 ( Walh angrily up and doivn.) 
 
 Jes. You accu'^e me of obstinacv, and with what right? You, your- 
 self, admit thit y )ur rc'(]!iest is fo lish, and yntyou insist on it. {Gradu- 
 ally relaxin i her decided tnne) Js that hive? You see th-t your re- 
 quest pains and grieves me. i)nt that d<ies not aflect yon. Your cruelty 
 has made me cry, and yjt vou nr^ indifferent. On whose part, then, 
 is there rao-^t obstmai-y and want ( f love? 
 
 (Ew^er James, h. 2 E.) 
 
 James. Mr. and Mrs. Harwooil have come, sir ! 
 
 {He (hen gooi and prepares to wait at table.) 
 
 Hen. {uneasy and sofdy). Now, hide your tears, or what will they 
 think? 
 
 Jes I'm sure I do not care if they know what has taken place. I 
 am quite innocent. 
 
 {Enter Ma. and Mrs Harwoop, l. 2 e) 
 
 H^n. My dear sir. I'm delighted to see you. 
 
 Jes Dearest mother ! 
 
 Mrs. H. I must scold you, daugiiter, for it is nearly a fortnight 
 since you've be;.'n to see me. I had a great mind not to come this 
 morniug. 
 
 Jes Dear mother 
 
 Mrs. H Yps !— re^t easv — T know a young wife has something else 
 to d') tha-i to tliink- of her old mother. 
 
 Har. The wav of the world — old lady, the way of the world — a wife 
 must leave her fathe:- a ul mother, eh ? But you do tiiink of us some- 
 times, don't you, my girl ? 
 
 Jes. Always father, always ! 
 
 Hen. {anxiously ivatrJiim Jfssv). Now, shall we scat ourselves? 
 
 (Mrs. H. takes a chair between Hknhy -jcnd Jkssy.)
 
 The obstinate family. u 
 
 Star. I've nothing to say against it, for I'm very tired and very 
 hungry. 
 
 {SitH L. of table ) 
 
 (Lucy enters and places a dish on the fable — James iaks hold of her, and 
 asks, by signs, ivhciher she will say what he has desired — She krwcks his 
 hand away, by siyiia tef'if<es, and exit L. H.) 
 
 Har. Ila, ha, ha! Wife, you have put yourself betwixt the newlv 
 married couple. That's right, for if they sat together it might be 
 pleasant to them, but very wz/pleasant to the rest of the company. 
 Now, till your glasses, and liere is — manv sucii davs as liie present. 
 
 Hen. Hem! 
 
 (Jessy r. of table, ivipes her eyes and se.tit her glass down.) 
 
 Har. What's the matter? You do not seem inclined to drink that 
 
 toast ; and el), girl ? — a tear? I see, a little titi! 
 
 Hen. James! 
 
 (Motions him to withdraw.) 
 {Exit James, i.. n.) 
 
 Mrs. H, {behind table, K.). How can you aslc ? Let them settle it 
 themselves. 
 
 _ Hen. (behind table, l.). 0]i ! it is nothing, a trifle, not worth men- 
 tioning — and dear Jessy is somethin.2^ too sensitive. 
 ^ Jes. (hursling into tears). Something else — accused of being too sen- 
 sitive now ! 
 
 Hen. At least in the presence of your parents 
 
 Mrs. H. Restrain yourself, Jessy, dear. 
 
 Jes. I know It is wrong to pive way to one's feelings, but I have 
 had too great a cause, and cannot help it. 
 
 Mrs. H. What! Son-in-law! Son-in-law! 
 
 Har. {who has continued eativy). Wife, do not interfere in this, it 
 concerns the children only.' 
 
 Hen. From Jessy's appearance it would seem a^ if I had deeply in- 
 jured her. Now, you yourselves shall judge — for I'll tell you the whole 
 affair. 
 
 Har. Don't son, don!t, we have no desire to interfere in the quarrels 
 of married people. 
 
 {Eats.) 
 
 Hen. But I must justify myself. 
 
 Har. (eating). J t ain't necessary. 
 
 Hen. You might believe 
 
 Har. We do not believe anyihing. 
 
 Mrs. H. But pray let him ; perhaps it may lead to a reconciliation. 
 
 Hen. I heard James, this morning, when he and Lucy had hiid the 
 cloth, desire her to say — "Thank goodness, the table is spread I" and
 
 1^ THE OBSTINATE FAMILt. 
 
 they had a quarrel because she would not. I told Jessy this, and laugh- 
 ingly added that she had not such a will of her own, and in jest asked 
 her to say it. Slie refused with tuch decided obstinacy and provoking 
 perverseness that at last we had angry words about it. 
 
 Jes. {in tears). There, you hear, obstinacy, perverseness, sensitive- 
 ness, reproached with all this. Now, you can bear witness for me that 
 1 never was obstinate. 
 
 Har. Why — no girl — T can't exactly do that. 
 
 Mrs. H. Now, husband, how can you wrong the poor child so — she 
 was never obstinate. Be calm, Jessy, dear — we won't interfere, and you 
 will soon be reconciled to one another. 
 
 Jes. I fear not, for he sti.l insists on my saying it. 
 
 Mrs. H. {astoninhed). Wliat, son-in-law, do you still mean to say 
 th;it you insist on it? 
 
 Hen. Pray let the matter end. 
 
 Har. Yes, let it end, or you will spoil my luncheon and disturb my di- 
 gestion. You are a foolish girl. Jessy dear. And, son-in-law, you do 
 right in gently curbing the self-wilfulness of your young wife. She 
 will be soon accustomed to it, like my old lady there, who does not know 
 the meaning of tlie word refuse when I ask. And if I were to request 
 her to say, " Thnnk goodness, the table is spread !"' she would say it im- 
 mediately. 
 
 Mrs. H. No, slie wouldn't, though. 
 
 Har. What? 
 
 Mrs. H. You would not desire it, dear. 
 
 Har. But s ippositig I did ? 
 
 Mrs. H. Why, then I wouldn't say it. 
 
 Har. I sny, old lady, are you in earnest ? 
 
 Mrs. H Yes, quite. 
 
 Har. You will refuse to fulfill my request ? 
 
 Mrs. H. Yes! 
 
 Hen. My dear sir, this is folly. Pray speak of something else. 
 
 Har. {rises). Stop a minute, son-in-law, stop a minute. I've never 
 seen the like of this before, and now I'll see the end of it. Elizabeth, 
 dear, now just say — " Thank goodness, the table is spread '" 
 
 Mrs. H. Leave me alone. 
 
 Har. Prav say it. 
 
 Mrs. H. No I 
 
 Har. Many a time when I have seen a well-spread table Fve said it, 
 and now you shall. 
 
 Mrs. H. I won't. 
 
 Jes. Dear mother 
 
 Har. Elizabeth 
 
 Mrs. H. No ! 
 
 Har. Dear Elizabeth I 
 
 Mrs. H. No I 
 
 Har. Lizzy, dear I {AUrist.)
 
 THE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 13 
 
 Mrs. H. Noll won't say it I 
 
 Hen. I beg that 
 
 Har. This is beyond a jest. Will you, through your own obstinacy, 
 
 Bet your daughter siicii a bad example ? 
 
 Mrs. H. liere we have another example of past ex[)erience — that 
 the men always side together when they have the sahjection and submis 
 sion of woman in view. The father even takes part against liis own 
 daughter. 
 
 Har. 1 take no one's part except my own. My daughter's and her 
 husband's affuirs do not concern me. 1 have only lo settle with you, 
 and I desire that you repeat those wonls. 
 
 Mrs. H. Mr. H. ! Mr. H. ! how can you ask anything so foolish of 
 your wife? 
 
 Har. Foolish or not, that's not it. This rrq'iest is nothing more nor 
 less than the touchstoiie of obedience, and if my historical knowledge 
 serves me riglitly, even so did Gesler hang his lap upon a pole, in order 
 that the Swi-s miglit greet it. This was the touclistone of their obedi- 
 ence. 
 
 Mrs. H. And, Mr. 11., if ray histo;ic:d knowledge does ditto by me, 
 it was because this request was so laughable, looiibli, and unmanly that 
 the Swiss r^^vohed ag iin>t their oppressors. 
 
 Jes Right, m ;rum:i, and we will act even as they did. 
 
 Mrs. H. Yes. of cnnr.-e we will, my own child, and set ourselves in 
 opposition to thtse S'.-lf elected lords of creation. 
 
 Jes. We are wives; but not s;d)missive or ii;feriors. 
 
 Mrs. H. Among the Turks women may Le submissive and therefore 
 inferiors — but we, tliank goodness, live in a Christian land I 
 
 Jes. The men appear to desire the introduction of TurKish customs, 
 for in behavior they are Turks! 
 
 Mrs. H. {more warralij). But, heaven be praised, we are not slaves, 
 and we will assert our rights ! 
 
 Jes. And such foolibii requests as you have made we never will com- 
 ply witli ! 
 
 Mrs. H. -| 
 and \ No ; never, never, never ! 
 
 Jes. j 
 
 {They both retire and speak together, R.) 
 
 Hen. Father-in-law ! 
 
 Har. Son-in-law, we've dropt in for it. The worst of it is that it 
 has thrown me out with my luncheon, and when I do not make a good 
 hmrlieon, I never make a good dinnc. 
 
 Hen. Notwithstanding, we must give in to them. 
 
 Har. My dear fellow, i d^n't know. This is a quarrel by which 
 neither party can gain anything. I've allowed myself to be irritated — 
 got into a bit of a passion — but the si)ecimen I have had of the enemies' 
 powers and the difficulties to be overcome have cooled my courage,
 
 14 TEE OBSTINATE FAMILY. 
 
 and I feel quite peaceably inclined. Besides, tlie vomen are not alto- 
 gether wrong, for it is nearly as obstinate to [lersist iu our demand as it 
 
 is for tliem to persist in their refusal ; and 
 
 ( Whispers — they retire, L.) 
 
 Jes. {advancing r.). If I had at first for a moment imagined that so 
 much would have come of Buch a trilie, I would liave considered it a 
 je.-t, and as such, complied with it ; but now 1 cannot do so. 
 
 Mrs. H. On no account ; for, if you were to do so, it would forevei 
 subject you to his imperious C(iiitrol. 
 
 Jes. He shall see that J }:ave a firm will. 
 
 Mrs. H. \'ery proper. Do not give way a single inch. My husband 
 may ask long enough be!ore I \\ ill give in. 
 
 Jes. You will support me, dear moiher, will you not ? 
 
 Mrs. H. You may rely on that, my dear, and so will all the women 
 of England. 
 
 {They whisper.) 
 
 Har. The most prudent always give in- 
 
 Hen. I would willingly do it, but honor- 
 
 Har. Pooh, nonseu&e, honor! that often prevents a man from doing 
 what is right. A jest commeuced the quarrel, and let a jest put an end 
 to it. 
 
 Hen. If one could, by a jest Ah I I think I see the way. 
 
 {Exit B. H.) 
 
 Har. Come, come, a truce ; your allied powers are too strong for me. 
 But 1 must sirengilien the fortifications in case of the worst. {Sits.) 
 Ail, thank goodnet>'<, the tiible is spread. 
 
 Jes. I)ear niother, sliall we also 
 
 Mrs. H. Oh ! ycs, yes, do not let their folly der>rive us of our lunch- 
 eon. {S-at Ihemsdves R, of table.) 
 {Re-enter Henry, k., with two shawls.) 
 
 Hen. I come to make peace, and let tis put an end to the war. I ac- 
 knowledge that I was the chief cause of this quarrel, a):d to atone for 
 this, I'll make you a present of one of these shawls. I intended to have 
 done so this morning, but our quarrel drove it out of my remembrance. 
 
 Jes. (a little ashamed). Henry, I scarcely knov.' 
 
 Hen. Come, choose. 
 
 Jes. At Huch a time . 
 
 Hen. Choose, choose, there's a good girl. 
 
 Jes. {poiiUs to one and suddenly vjithdraws her hand). 
 
 Hen. The right hand one? {Sheiiods — he then, puts one on the table 
 and the other over her shoulders ) It becomes you beautifully. Kow I 
 have come three parts of the way.
 
 TEE OnSTINA TE FA MIL T. 15 
 
 Jes. {after a mnmenfs hcvtatiim, goes and embraces him). "Thank 
 goodness { whimpers in his ear), the table is si)read." 
 
 {Embrace.) 
 (James enters with tray, and remains ready to dear table.) 
 
 Har. That's right, mv children, vou have verv wisely made an end 
 of It 
 
 Hen Peace is made. 
 
 Jes. Forever. 
 
 Hen. The like shall not happen again. 
 
 Jes. No, never! 
 
 ( They go up R.) 
 (Lucy enters, arranges the things on side table, L. h.) 
 
 Mrs. H. {who has examined the other shawl, taps Mr. H. on shoulder). 
 Look tlieie. 
 
 Har. Wliat? 
 
 Mrs. H. Tliere's a shawl left. 
 
 Har. Indeed ! 
 
 Mrs. H Will you effect a reconciliation with that? 
 
 Har. With the shawl ? No, tliank you, that is a little too dear to 
 suit my hook. 
 
 Mrs. H. But consider 
 
 (James and Lucy begin to clear taoie.) 
 
 Har. No, I hope to effect a reconciliation at aciieaper rate than that. 
 It is all very well for a young husband like Harry to do so, but when he 
 has had mr experience he will know better. 
 
 Mrs. H. You're a brute ! 
 
 {Tliey retire up l. ii.) 
 
 Hen. (r. c). James, I hope you have brought Lucy into a state of 
 obedience. 
 
 James, (c.) No, sir, it is not to be done. 
 
 Hen. How obstinate of yon, Lucy. 
 
 Lucy. But, sir {AdvunciHg,'R.c.) 
 
 Jes. You mu!?t give way, Lucy, you must repeat those words. 
 
 Lucy. What, you know 
 
 Jes. Yes, all. 
 
 Har. Yes, Miss Lucy, you have been the cause of all this disturb- 
 ance 
 
 Mrs. H Yes, it is all through you, and ;is a punisiiment j'ou must 
 repeat aloud — an^ I before us — '• Thank goodness, tiie table is spread!" 
 {AH laugh.) Well? 
 
 Har. Now, old lady, I think you have said it. 
 
 Mrs. H. {down L.). Dear, yes. Well, there's an end of it. 
 
 {Gives him her hand.)
 
 16 THE OBSTIXATE FA^IILT. 
 
 Hen. Xow. Lu 'v, yen alone remain. 
 Lucy. Upon my word 1 caii'f, sir. 
 
 Jes. Do it, and in three weeks I'll see you are married- 
 Lucy. Marritd ! " Tliank goodness " 
 
 {Jumping with glee to C.) 
 
 All. Well?— well? 
 
 Lucy {who doss not perceive what she has said). Well — what ? 
 All. Go on — on ! 
 Lucy. Go ? 
 
 James. Yes dear, do say the rest ! 
 Lucy. Oh! 1 see ! 
 All. Proceed— proceed ! 
 
 Lucy. But it is so difficult. James, stand ready to catch me if I 
 should faint. 
 
 {Takes a long breath.) 
 
 All. Now out with it ! 
 Lucy. " The table is spread !" 
 
 {She falls into James's arms, c. — All shout " Bravo !" and wave their 
 
 handkerchiefs.) 
 
 Jes.sy. Harford. Lucy m James's arms. Mrs. H. Har. 
 
 B. Xi. 
 
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