THE HISTORY 
 
 
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 THOMAS OF READING; 
 
 OR THE 
 
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 SIX WORTHY YEOMEN 4 
 
 OF THE WEST. 
 
 BY THOMAS DELONEY. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 WILLIAM PICKERING, CHANCERY LANE. 
 
 MDCCCXXVII. 
 
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 ~j 
 
 THOMAS OF READING. 
 
 " Thomas of Reading, or the Sixe Worthie Yeomen 
 of the West," is the production of Thomas Deloney, 
 the compiler of the " Garland of Good-will," a 
 poetical collection of local tales and historical ditties ; 
 and a famous ballad maker in his day, in which 
 latter character he appears to have drawn upon him- 
 self the indignation of Kemp, one of the original 
 actors of Shakspeare, in his " Nine Dales Wonder." 
 Kemp's miraculous morris-dance, performed in nine 
 days from London to Norwich, had been misrepre- 
 sented in the popular ballads, and he thus remon- 
 strates against our author. " I have made a priuie 
 
 ,5 " search ; what priu ate jig-monger of your jolly num- 
 
 ^ " ber had been the author of these abhominable 
 
 " ballets written of me. I was told it was the great 
 
 " ballade-maker, T. D. or Thomas Deloney, chro- 
 
 '' nicler of the memorable Lives of the Six Yeomen 
 
 V If O" • u
 
 11 PREFACE. 
 
 " of the West,' * Jack of Newberry,' ' the Gentle 
 " Craft,' and such like honest men, omitted by 
 " Stowe, Hollinshed, Grafton, Hall, Froysart, and 
 " the rest of those well-deserving writers." 
 
 Accordingly we find " Thomas of Reading" to 
 be a mixture of historical fact and fictitious narra- 
 tion, which may be compared to the historical novel 
 of modern times ; for Coates, in his History of Read- 
 ing, acknowledges the existence of our hero, even 
 while he speaks slightingly of Deloney's history. 
 " The trade of Reading, with respect to manufac- 
 " tories, is no longer considerable. Thomas Cole, in 
 " the time of Edward I. (query Henry I.) was called 
 " the Rich Clothier of Reading. Though his name 
 " and reputation occasioned a fabulous and childish 
 " penny history, called the ' History of Thomas of 
 " Reading ;' yet we may learn from the circum- 
 " stance, that Reading was even then famous for its 
 " trade of clothing." 
 
 Thomas of Reading contains many curious allu- 
 sions to manners and customs now obsolete ; and,
 
 PREFACE. HI 
 
 though grounds of origin for several circumstances 
 are stated which are not strictly borne out by histo- 
 rical research, much curious information may be 
 cleaned from it. It would be tedious to illustrate 
 every point to which our attention might be drawn ; 
 but the allusion to the Qibbet Law of Halifax, which 
 was in full force at the time our author wrote, seems 
 to justify some notice. This custom is supposed to 
 have originated when the manor of Wakefield (of 
 which Halifax was part) was bestowed on Earj 
 Warren ; for in the reign of King Edward I. at the 
 pleas of assizes and jurats at the borough of Scar 
 borough, John Earl of Warren and Surry, answering 
 to a writ of quo warranto, said, That he claimed 
 Gallows at Coningsburgh and Wakefield, and the 
 power of doing what belonged to a gallows in all his 
 lands and fees, and that he and all his ancestors had 
 used the same from time immemorial, &c. The 
 law or custom as regards Halifax appears to have 
 been to the effect that, 
 
 1st. The thief was to be taken within the liberty,
 
 IV PREFACE. 
 
 and if he escaped out of the liberty he could not be 
 brought back to be executed ; but if ever he returned 
 again, and was taken, he was sure to suffer, as was 
 the case with one Lacy, who after his escape lived 
 seven years out of the Liberty, but venturing back 
 was beheaded on his former verdict in the year 1623. 
 This man was not so wise as one Dinnis, who having 
 been condemned to die, escaped out of the Liberty 
 on the day intended for his execution (which might 
 be done by running about five hundred yards,) and 
 never returned thither again; meeting several people, 
 they asked him " if Dinnis was not to be beheaded 
 that day?" his answer was, " I trow not," which 
 having some humour in it, became a proverbial 
 saying amongst the inhabitants, who to this day use 
 the expression " I trow not, quoth Dinnis." 
 
 2d. The fact was to be proved in the clearest 
 manner, the offender was to be taken either hand- 
 habend or backberand, having the stolen goods either 
 in his hand, or bearing them on his back ; or lastly, 
 confessand, confessing that he took them.
 
 PREFACE. V 
 
 3d. The value of the goods stolen must amount 
 to thirteen pence halfpenny, or more. 
 
 4th. The accused was to be executed on the first 
 Saturday after his condemnation, and 
 
 5th. When brought to the gibbet he was to have 
 his head cut off from his body, &c. 
 
 Forty-nine persons appear to have been executed 
 since a list was kept, of which five were in the six 
 last years of Henry VIII. ; twenty-five in the reign of 
 Elizabeth : seven in that of James I. ; ten in that of 
 Charles I. and two during the interregnum. 
 
 The proceedings at the trials of the last malefac- 
 tors, viz. Abraham Wilkinson and Andrew Mitchel, 
 who suffered at Halifax gibbet on the 30th of April, 
 1650, are preserved in an account of Halifax, pub- 
 lished by William Bentley, London, 1708; and in 
 the Rev. Mr. Watson's History of Halifax, from which 
 this account is taken, and where much curious matter 
 is to be found, illustrative not only of the gibbet law 
 of Halifax, but of the first gibbets or guillotines used 
 in this country.
 
 VI PREFACE. 
 
 Thomas of Reading was printed previous to the 
 year 1600, when it was alluded to by Kemp, but the 
 precise date of the first Edition does not appear. 
 The Marquis of Stafford possesses a copy in 4to. 
 1623, and in the Roxburgh sale " The pleasant 
 History of Thomas of Reading" 4to. 1636, produced 
 £5. 15s. 6d. 
 
 The following entry in the Henslowe MSS. shews 
 that it was made the subject of a dramatic per- 
 
 formance : 
 
 12 Nov. 1601. The six Clothiers of the West, by 
 Richard Hathway, Wentworth Smith 
 and Wm. Haughton. The second 
 part of The Six Clothiers by the 
 same.
 
 THOMAS 
 
 OF 
 
 READING: 
 
 OB, 
 
 THE SIXE WORTHIE YEOMEN 
 
 OF THE WEST. 
 
 NOW THE SIXTH TIME CORRECTED AND ENLARGED 
 
 By T D. 
 
 Thov shalt labovr till thov retvrne to dvste. 
 
 LONDON, 
 
 PRINTED BY ELIZ- ALLDE FOR 
 ROBERT BIRD 
 
 1632.
 
 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE OF THE 
 
 SIXE WORTHY YEOMEN 
 
 OF THE WEST. 
 
 In the dayes of King Henry the first, who was the first 
 king that instituted the high Court of Parliament; there 
 liued nine men, which for the trade of Clothing, were 
 famous throughout all England. Which Art in those 
 dayes was held in high reputation, both in respect of 
 the great riches that thereby was gotten, as also of the 
 benefit it brought to the whole Common-wealth : the 
 yonger sons of knights and Gentlemen, to whom their 
 Fathers would leaue no lands, were most commonly 
 preferred to learne this trade, to the end, that thereby 
 they might liue in good estate, and driue forth their 
 dayes in prosperity. 
 
 Among all Crafts this was the onely chiefe, for that 
 it was the greatest merchandize, by the which our Coun- 
 try became famous thorowout all Nations. And it was 
 verily thought, that the one halfe of the people in the 
 land liued in those dayes therby, and in such good sort,
 
 4 THE PLEASANT IIISTORIE 
 
 that in the Common-wealth there were few or no beggers 
 at all: poore people, whom God lightly blessed with 
 most children, did by meanes of this occupation so order 
 them, that by the time that they were come to be sixe or 
 senen yeeres of age, they were able to get their owne 
 bread : Idlenesse was then banished onr coast, so that it 
 was a rare thing to heare of a thiefe in those dayes. 
 Therefore it was not without cause that Clothiers were 
 then both honoured and loued, among whom these nine 
 persons in this kings dayes were of great credit, viz. 
 Tho. Cole of Reading, Gray of Glocester, Sutton of 
 Salisburie, Fitzallen of Worcester, (commonly called 
 William of Worcester) Tom Doue of Excester, and 
 Simon of South-hampton, alias Supbroth: who were by 
 the King called, The sixe worthy Husbands of the West. 
 Then were there three liuing in the North, that is to say, 
 Cutbert of Kendall, Hodgekins of Hallifax, and Martin 
 Byram of Manchester. Euery one of these kept a great 
 number of seruants at worke, spinners, carders, weauers, 
 fullers, dyers, sheerement, and rowers, to the great 
 admiration of all those that came into their houses to 
 behold them. 
 
 Now you shall vnderstand, these gallant Clothiers, 
 by reason of their dwelling places, separated themselues 
 in three seueral'l companies : Gray of Glocester, William 
 of Worcester, and Thomas of Reading, because their 
 iourney to London was all one way, they conuersed com- 
 monly together: And Doue of Excester, Sutton of Salis- 
 burie, and Simon of South-hampton, they in like sort kept
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 
 
 company the one with the other, meeting euer all toge- 
 ther at Bazingstoke: and the three Norttaerne Clothiers 
 did the like, who commonly did not meet till they came 
 to Bosomes Inne in London. 
 
 Moreover, for the loue and delight that theseWesterne 
 men had each in others companie, they did so prouide, 
 that their Waines and themselues would euer meet upon 
 one day in London at Iarrats Hall, surnamed the Gyant, 
 for that hee surpassed all other men of that age, both 
 in stature and strength : whose merriments and memor- 
 able deeds I will setdowne vnto you in this following dis- 
 course. 
 
 How King Henry sought the fauour of all his subiects 
 especially of the Clothiers. Chap. 1 . 
 
 This King Henry, who for his great learning and wis- 
 dome was called Beauclerke, beeing the third Son to the 
 renowned Conquerour: after the death of his brother 
 W illiam Ruffus, tooke vpon him the gouernment of this 
 Land, in the absence of his second brother Robert Duke 
 of Normandie, who at this time was at wars amongst the 
 Infidels, and was chosen King of Jerusalem, the which 
 he, for the loue he hare to his owne country, refused, 
 and witli great honour returned from the holy Land ; of 
 whose co timing when King Henry vnderstood, knowing 
 hee would make claime to the Crowne, sought by nil 
 meanes possible to winne the good will of his Nobility, 
 and to get the fauor of the Commons by courtesie : for 
 the obtaining whereof hee did them many fauours,
 
 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 thereby the better to strengthen himselfe against his 
 brother. 
 
 It chanced on a time, as he, with one of his sonnes, 
 and diuers of his Nobilitie, rode from London towards 
 Wales, to appease the fury of the Welshmen, which 
 then began to raise themselues in amies against his 
 authority, that he met with a great number of Waines 
 loaden with cloth, comming to London, and seeing them 
 still driue one after another so many together, de- 
 manded whose they were : the Waine-men answered in 
 this sort : Coles of Reading (quoth they.) Then by and 
 by the King asked another saying : Whose cloth is all 
 this ? Old Coles, quoth bee : and againe anon after he 
 asked the same questions to others, and still they an- 
 swered, Old Coles. And it is to be remembred, that 
 the king met them in such a place so narrow and 
 streight, that hee with tbe rest of his traine, were faine 
 to stand as close to the hedge, whilest tbe carts passed 
 by, the which at that time being in number aboue two 
 hundred, was neere hand an hour ere the King could get 
 roome to be gone : so that by his long stay, he began 
 to be displeased, although the admiration of that sight 
 did much qualifie his furie ; but breaking out in discon- 
 tent, by reason of his stay, he said, I thought Old Cole 
 had got a Commission for all the carts in the Country 
 to cary his cloth. And how if he haue (quoth one of the 
 Wainmen) doth that grieue you good sir ? Yes, good 
 sir, said our King, what say you to that ? The fellow 
 seeing the King (in asking that question) to bend his
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 7 
 
 browes, though he knew not what he was, yet being 
 abasht, he answered thus : Why sir, if you be angry, no 
 body can hinder you ; for possible sir, you haue anger 
 at commandement. The king seeing him in vttering 
 of his words to quiuer and quake, laughed heartily at 
 him, as well in respect of his simple answere, as at his 
 feare : and so soone after the last Wain went by, which 
 gaue present passage vnto him and his Nobles : and 
 thereupon entring into communication of the com- 
 moditie of cloathing, the king gaue order at his home 
 returne, to have Old Cole brought before his Maiestie, 
 to the intent he might haue conference with him, noting 
 him to be a subiect of great abilitie : but by that time 
 he came within a mile of Staines, he met another com- 
 pany of waines in like sort laden with cloth, whereby 
 the king was driven into a further admiration . and de- 
 manding whose they were, answere was made in this 
 sort : They be good-man Suttons of Salisbury, good 
 sir ; and by that time a score of them were past, he 
 asked againe, saying ; whose are these ; Suttons of 
 Salisbury, qd. they, and so still, as often as the king- 
 asked that question, they answered, Suttons of Salis- 
 burie. God send me many such Suttons, said the king. 
 And thus the farther he trauelled Westward, more 
 Waines and more he met continually : vpon which occa- 
 sion he said to his Nobles, That it would neuer grieue a 
 king to die for the defence of a fertile Countrie and faith- 
 ful subiects. 1 alwayes thought (quoth he) that Englands 
 valor was more than her wealth, yet now 1 see her wealth
 
 8 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 sufficient to maintaine her valour, which I will seeke to 
 dierish in all I may, and with my sword keepe my selfe 
 in possession of that I haue, Kings and Louers can hrooke 
 no partners : and therefore let my Brother Robert 
 thinke, that although hee was Heir to England by birth, 
 yet I am King by possession. All his fauourers I must 
 account my foes, and will serue them as I did the vn- 
 gratefull Earle of Shrewsbury, whose lands I haue 
 seized, and banisht his body. But now we will leaue 
 the king to his iourney into Wales, and waiting his home 
 returne, in the meane time tell you the meeting of these 
 iolly Clothiers at London. 
 
 How William of Worcester, Gray of Gloucester, and 
 old Cole of Reading, met altogether at Reading, and 
 of their communication by the way as they rode to 
 London. Chap. 2. 
 
 When Gray of Glocester, and William of Worcester 
 were come to Reading, according to their custome, they 
 alwayes called old Cole to haue his compauie to London, 
 who also duely attended their commiug, hauing pro- 
 uided a good breakefast for them : and when they had 
 well refreshed themselues, they tooke their horses and 
 rode on towards the Citie : and in their iourney Wil- 
 liam of Worcester asked them if they had not heard of 
 the Earle of Moraigne his escape out of the Land ? 
 What is he fled qd. Gray ? I muse much at this matter, 
 being in such great regard with the King as he was : but 
 I pray you, doe you not know the cause of his going,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 9 
 
 qd. Cole ? The common report, quoth Gray, is this, 
 that the couetous Earle, who through a greedy desire, 
 neuer left begging of the King for one thing or other, 
 and his request being now denied him, of meere obsti- 
 nacy and wilfull frowardnesse, hath banished himselfe 
 out of the Land, and quite forsaken the Country of 
 Cornwall, hauing made a vow neuer to set foote within 
 England againe, and as report goeth, he with the late 
 banisht Earl of Shrewsbury, haue ioyned themselues 
 with Robert Duke of Normandy, against the King, the 
 which actions of theirs hath inflamed the Kings wrath, 
 that their Ladies with their children are quite turned 
 out of doores succourlesse and friendlesse, so that it is 
 told me, they wander vp and downe the Country like 
 forlorne people, and although many doe pitie them, yet 
 few doe releeue them. 
 
 A lamentable hearing, qd. William of Worcester, and 
 with that casting their eyes aside, they espye.d Tom Doue 
 with the rest of his companions come riding to meete 
 them, who as soone as they were come thither, fell into 
 such pleasant discourses, as did shorten the long way 
 they had to Colebroke, where alwayes at their coinming 
 towards London they dined: and being once entred into 
 their Inne, according to olde custome, good cheere was 
 prouided for them : for these Clothiers were the chiefest 
 guests that trauailed along the way : and this was as 
 sure as an act of Parliament, that Tom Doue could not 
 digest his meat without musicke, nor drinke wine without 
 women, so that his hostesse being a merry wench, would
 
 ]0 THE l'LEASANT HIST0RJE 
 
 oftentimes call in two or three of her neighbours wiues 
 to keepe him company, where, ere they parted, they 
 were made as pleasant as Pies. And this being a cou- 
 tinuall custome amongst them when they came thither, 
 at length the wo mens husbands beganne to take excep- 
 tions at their wiues going thither : whereupon great 
 controuersie grew betweene them, in such sort, that 
 when they were most restrained, then they had most 
 desire to worke their wills : now gip (quoth they) must 
 we be so tyed to our taske, that wee may not drinke with 
 our friends ? fie, fie, vpon these yellow hose ; will no 
 other die serue your turne ? haue wee thus long bin your 
 wiues, and doe you now mistrust vs ? verily you eate too 
 much salt, and that makes you grow cholericke, badde 
 liuers iudge all others the like, but in faith you shall not 
 bridle vs so like asses, but wee will goe to our friends, 
 when we are sent for, and doe you what you can. Well, 
 quoth their husbands, if you be so head-strong, we will 
 tame you : it is the duty of honest women to obey their 
 husbands sayings. And of honest men (quoth they) to 
 thinke well of their wiues ; but who doe sooner empeach 
 their credit, then their husbands, charging them, if they 
 doe but smile, that they are subtill ; and if they doe but 
 winke, they account them wily : if sad of countenance, 
 then sullen : if they be froward, then they are counted 
 shrevves : and sheepish if they bee gentle : if a woman 
 keepe her house, then you will say shee is melancholy, 
 if shee walke abroade, then you call her a gadder ; a 
 Puritane, if she be precise; and a wanton, if shee be
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 11 
 
 pleasant : so there is no woman in the world that knowes 
 how to please you : that we thinke our selues accurst to 
 be married wiues, liuing with so many woes. These men, 
 of whose company you forewarne vs, are (for ought that 
 euer we saw) both honest and courteous, and in wealth 
 farre beyond your selues : then what reason is there, 
 why we should restraine to visit them? is their good 
 will so much to be requited with scorne, that their cost 
 may not be counteruailed with our company ? if a woman 
 be disposed to play light of loue, alas, alas doe you 
 thinke that you can preuent her ? Nay, wee will abide 
 by it, that the restraint of liberty inforceth women to be 
 lewd : for where a woman cannot be trusted, she cannot 
 thinke her selfe beloued, and if not beloued, what cause 
 hath she to care for such a one? therefore husbands, 
 reforme your opinions, and doe not worke your owne 
 woes, with our discredit. The Clothiers, we tell you, 
 are iolly fellowes, and but in respect to our courtesie, 
 they would scorne our company. 
 
 The men hearing their wiues so well to plead for 
 themselues, knew not how to answere, but said, they 
 would put the burden on their consciences, if they deale 
 vniustly with them, and so left them to their owne wills. 
 The women bailing thus conquered their husbands con- 
 ceits, would not leaue the fauour of their friends for 
 frownes, and as aboue the rest Tom Doue was the most 
 pleasantest, so was he had in most reputation with the 
 ^ women, who for his sake made this Song : 
 
 Welcome to Towne, Tom Doue, Tom Doue, 
 The merriest man aliue,
 
 3~ THE PLEASANT HJSTOUlE 
 
 Thy company still we loue, we loue, 
 
 God grant thee well to thriue, 
 
 And neuer will (we) depart from thee, 
 
 For better or worse, my ioy, 
 
 For thou shalt still haue our good will, 
 
 Gods blessing on my sweet Boy. 
 
 This song went vp and downe through the whole 
 Country, and at length became a dance among the com- 
 mon sort, so that Tom Doue, for his mirth and good 
 fellowship, was famous in euery place. Now when they 
 came to London, they were welcome to the Oast Iarrat 
 the Gyant, and as soone as they were alighted, they 
 were saluted by the Merchants, who waited their com- 
 ming thither, and alwayes prepared for them a costly 
 supper, where they commonly made their bargaine, and 
 vpon euery bargaine made, they still vsed to send some 
 tokens to the Clothiers wiues. The next morning they 
 went to the hall, where they met the Northerne Clothiers, 
 who greeted one another in this sort. What, my Masters of 
 the West, well met: what cheere? what cheere? Euen the 
 best cheere our Merchants could make vs : (quoth Gray.) 
 Then you could not chuse but fare well, quoth Hodge- 
 kins: and you be weary of our company, adieu, quoth 
 Sutton : Not so, said Martin, but shall wee not haue a 
 game eie wee goe '. Yes faith for an hundred pounds. 
 Well said, old Cole, said they : and with that Cole and 
 Gray went to the Dice with Martin and Hodgekins, 
 and the Dice running on Hodgekins side, Coles money 
 began to waste. Now by the masse, quoth Cole, my 
 money shrinkes as bad as Northerne cloth. When they
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 13 
 
 had played long, Gray stept to it, and recouereil againe 
 the money that Cole had lost. But while they were thus 
 playing, the rest being delighted in contrary matters 
 euery man satisfied his owne humour. 
 
 Tom Doue called for musicke, William of Worcester 
 for wine, Sutton set his delight in hearing merry tales, 
 Simon of South-hampton got him into the kitchin, and 
 to the pottage pot he goes, for he esteemed more a messe 
 of pottage, then of a venizon pasty. Now sir, Cutbert 
 of Kendall was of another mind, for no meate pleased 
 him so well as mutton, such as was laced in a red petti- 
 coate. And you shall vnderstand, that alwayes when 
 they went to dice, they got into Bosomes Inne ; which 
 was so called of his name that kept it, who being a foule 
 slouen, went alwayes with his nose in his bosome, and 
 one hand in his pocket, the other on his staffe, figuring 
 forth a description of cold Winter, for he alwayes wore 
 two coates, two caps, two or three paire of stockings, and 
 a high paire of shooes, ouer the which he drew on a 
 great paire of lined slippers, and yet would oft com- 
 plaine of cold wherefore of all men generally he was 
 called Old Bosome, and his house Bosomes Inne. 
 
 This lump of cold ice had lately married a young 
 wife, who was as wily as she was wanton, and in her com- 
 pany did Cutbert onely delight, and the better to make 
 passage to his loue, he would often thus commune with 
 her : I muse, good wife, quoth he. Good wife, quoth 
 she : Verily sir, in mine opinion, there is none good but 
 God, and therefore call me Mistresse. Then said Cut-
 
 14 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 bert, Faire Mistris, I haue often mused, that you being 
 a proper woman, could find in your heart for to match 
 with such a greazie Carle as this, an euill mannered 
 mate, a foule lump of kitchin-stuffe, and such a one as 
 is indeede, a scorne of men ; how can you like him that 
 all women mislikes ? orloue such a loathsome creature? 
 me thinks verily it should grieue you to lend him a kisse, 
 much more to lie with him. Indeed sir, quoth she, I had 
 but hard fortune in this respect, but my friends would 
 haue it so, and truly my liking and my loue toward him 
 are alike, he neuer had the one, nor neuer shall get the 
 other : yet I may say to you Before I married him, there 
 were diuers proper young men that were sutors vnto 
 me, who loued mee as their liues, and glad was he that 
 could get my company, those were my golden dayes, 
 wherein my pleasure abounded, but these yeeres of care 
 and griefe, wherin my sorrowes exceede. Now no man 
 regards mee, no man cares for me, and albeit in secret 
 they might beare mee good-will, yet who dares shew it ? 
 and this is a double griefe, he carries ouer me so iealous 
 a minde, that I cannot looke at a man, but presently he 
 accuseth me of inconstancy, although (I protest) without 
 cause. 
 
 And in troth, qd. Cutbert, he should haue cause to 
 complaine for somewhat, were I as you. As sure as 1 
 liue, and so he shall, quoth she, if he doe not change 
 his byas. Cutbert hearing her say so, began to grow 
 further in requesting her fauour, wishing he might be 
 her seruaut and secret friend, and the better to obtaine
 
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 15 
 
 his desire, he gaue her diuers gifts, insomuch that she 
 began something to lissen vnto him : and albeit she 
 liked well of his speeches, yet would she blame him, 
 and take him vp very short sometimes for the same, till 
 in the end, Cutbert shewed himselfe to be desperate, 
 saying hee would drowne himselfe rather than liue in 
 her disdaine. O my sweet heart not so, quoth shee, 
 God forbid 1 should be the death of any man : Comfort 
 thy selfe, kind Cutbert, and take this kisse in token of 
 further kindnesse, and if thou wilt haue my fauour, 
 thou must be wise and circumspect, and in my husbands 
 sight I would alwayes haue thee to find fault with my 
 doings, blame my bad huswifries, dispraise my person, 
 and take exceptions at euery thing whereby he will be 
 as well pleased, as Simon of South-hampton with a 
 messe of pottage. 
 
 Deare Mistresse, quoth he, I will fulfill your charge 
 to the vttermost, so that you will not take my iest in 
 earnest. Shec answered, Thy foulest speeches I will 
 esteeme the fairest, and take euery dispraise to be a 
 praise from thee, turning each word to the contrary : 
 and so for this time adieu, good Cutb. for supper time 
 drawes neere, and it is meet for me to looke for my 
 meat. With that down comes old Bosome, calling his 
 wife, saying, Ho Winifred, is supper ready ? they haue 
 done playing aboue : therefore let the Chamberlaine 
 couer the Table. By and by, qd. she, it shall be done 
 straight-way. How now my Masters who wins, qd. 
 Cutbert ? Our money walkes to the West, qd. Martin :
 
 16 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 Cole hath woone 40 pounds of me, and Gray hath gotten 
 well : the best is (jd. Hodgekins, they will pay for our 
 supper : then let vs haue good store of Sacke, qd. 
 Sutton. Content said Cole, for I promise you, I striue 
 not to grow rich by Dice-playing, therefore call for 
 what you will, I will pay for all. Yea said Simon ! 
 Chamberlaine, I pray thee bring a whole bottle of 
 pottage for me. Now Tom Doue had all the fidlers at a 
 becke of his finger, which follow him vp and down the 
 City, as diligent as little chickens after a hen, and made 
 a vow, that there should want no Musicke. And at that 
 time there liued in London a Musician of great reputa- 
 tion, named Reior, who kept his seruants in such costly 
 garments, that they might seeme to come before any 
 Prince. Their coates were all of one colour ; and it is 
 said, that afterward the Nobility of this Land, noting it 
 for a seemely sight, vsed in like manner to keepe their 
 men all in one liuery. This Reior was the most skil- 
 fullest Musician that liued at that time, whose wealth was 
 very great, so that all the Instruments whereon his ser- 
 uants plaid, were richly garnished with studdesof siluer, 
 and some gold : the bowes belonging to their Violines 
 were all likewise of pure siluer. Hee was also for his 
 wisedome called to great Office in the City, who also 
 builded (at his owne costl the Priory and Hospital of 
 S. Bartholomew in Smithfield. His seruants being the 
 best consorts in the City, were by Tom Doue appointed 
 to play before the young Princes. Then supper being 
 brought to the boord, they all sat down, and by and by
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 17 
 
 after comes vp their Oast, who tooke his place among 
 them : and anon after, the good wife in a red peticote 
 and a waistcoate, comes among them as white as a Lilly, 
 saying, My Masters, you are welcome, I pray you he 
 merry. Thus falling close to their meate, when they 
 had well fed, they found leysure to talke one with 
 another : at what time Cutb. began thus to finde fault, 
 Ywis, my Oast, quoth he, you haue a wise huswife 
 to your wife, heere is meate drest of a new fashion ? 
 God sends meate, and the deuil sends cooks. Why 
 what ailes the meate, quoth she, serues it not your 
 turnes ? better men then your selfe are content withall, 
 but a paultry companion is euer worst to please. Away, 
 you sluttish thing, qd. Cutbert, your husband hath a 
 sweet Jewell of you : I maruell such a graue ancient 
 man would match himselfe with such a young giglot 
 that hath as much handsomenes in her, as good huswifry, 
 which is iust nothing at all. Well sir, said shee, in 
 regard of my husbands presence I am loth to aggrauate 
 anger, otherwise I would tell thee thy owne. Goe to, 
 what needs all this, quoth the company ? in good faith, 
 Cutbert, you are to blame, you find fault where none is. 
 Tush, I must speake my mind, quoth Cutbert, T cannot 
 dissemble, I trust the good man thinkes neuer the worse 
 of me : so I haue his good will, what the foule euill care 
 I for his wifes. Enough, quoth Tom Doue, let vs with 
 Musicke remoue these brabbles, we meane to be merry, 
 and not melancholy. Then said old Cole, Now trust 
 me, Cutbert, we will have your Oastesse and you 
 
 c
 
 18 THE PLEASANT 11IST0U1E 
 
 friends ere we part : here woman I drinke to you, and 
 regard not his words, for he is bahbling wheresoeuer he 
 comes. Quoth the woman, Nothing grieues me so much, 
 as that hee should thus openly checke mee : if he had 
 found any thing amisse, he might haue spied a better 
 time to tell mee of it then nowe, ywis he need not thrust 
 my bad huswifrie into my husbands head, I Hue not so 
 quietly with him, God wot : and with that she wept. 
 Come Cutbert, quoth they, drinke to her, and shake 
 hands and be friends. Come on, you puling baggage, 
 quoth he, I drinke to you, here will you pledge mee 
 and shake hands ? No, (quoth shee) I will see thee 
 choaekt first, shake hands with thee ? I will shake hands 
 with the deuill as soone. Goe to, said her husband, you 
 shall shake hands with him then : If you will not shake 
 hands, He shake you : what, you young huswife ? Well, 
 husband, said she, it becomes a woman to obey her 
 husband, in regard whereof, I drink to him. Thats well 
 said, quoth the company : and so she tooke her leave 
 and went downe. And within a while after they paid 
 the shot, and departed thence to Iarrats Hall, where 
 they went to their lodging ; and the next day they 
 tooke their way homeward altogether : and comming to 
 Colebrooke, they tooke vp their lodging : and it was 
 Coles custome to deliuer his money to the good wife of 
 the house to keepe it till morning, which in the end 
 turned to his vtter destruction, as hereafter shall be 
 shewed.
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 19 
 
 How Grays wife of Glocester, with one or two more of 
 her neighbours went to the Faire, where seruants 
 came to be hired, and how she tooke the Earle of 
 Shrewesburies Daughter into her seruice, Chap. 3. 
 
 It was wont to be an old custome in Glocestershire, that 
 at a certaine time in the yeere, all such young men and 
 Maidens as were out of seruice, resorted to a faire that 
 was kept neere Glocester, there to be ready for any that 
 would come to hire them, the young men stood all on a 
 row on the one side, and the maidens on the other. It 
 came to pass, that the Earle of Shrewsburies daughter, ( 
 whose father was lately banished, being driven into 
 great distresse, and weary with trauell, as one whose 
 delicate life was neuer vsed to such toyle, sate her 
 downe vpon the high-way side, making this lamentation: 
 
 O false and deceitfull world, quoth she ! who is in 
 thee that wishes not to be rid of thee, for thy extremities 
 are great? Thou art deceitfull to all, and trusty to 
 none. Fortuner is thy treasurer, who is like thy selfe, 
 wauering and vnconstant, she setteth vp tyrants, beateth 
 downe Kings : giueth shame to . some, and renowne to 
 others : Fortune giueth these euils, and we see it 
 not : with her hands she toucheth vs, and we feele it 
 not; she treades vs vnder foot, and we know it not; she 
 speakes in our cares, and we heare her not; she cries 
 aloud, and we vnderstand her not : And why? because 
 we know her not, vntill misery doth make her manifest. 
 
 Ah my deare father, well maist thou doe. Of all
 
 -0 THE PLEASANT HISTOIUE 
 
 misfortunes it is most vnhappy to be fortunate : and by 
 this misfortune came my fall. Was euer good Lady 
 brought to this extremity? What is become of my rare 
 Jewels, my rich aray, my sumptuous fare, my waiting 
 seruants, my many friends, and all my vaine pleasures ? 
 my pleasure is banisht by displeasure, my friends fled 
 like foes, my seruants gone, my feasting turned to fast- 
 ing, my rich array consumed to ragges, and my iewels 
 decke out my chiefest enemies: therefore of all things 
 the meanest state is best, pouerty with surety, is better 
 than honour mixed with feare : seeing God hath allotted 
 me to this misery of life, I will frame my heart to em- 
 brace humility, and carry a mind answerable to my mis- 
 fortunes, fie on this vaine title of Ladiship, how little 
 doth it auaile the distressed ? No, no, I must therefore 
 forget my birth and parentage, and think no more on 
 my fathers house, where I was wont to bee serued, now 
 will I learne to serue, and plaine Meg shall be my name, 
 good Lord grant I may get a good seruice, nay any ser- 
 nice shall serue, where I may haue meat, drinke, and 
 apparell. She had no sooner spoken these words, but 
 she spied a couple of maidens more comming towards 
 her ; who were going to the faire : and bidding her good 
 morrow, asked her if she went to the faire. Yea mary 
 qd. she I am a poor mans child that is out of seruice, 
 and I heare that at the Statute, folkes doe come of pur- 
 pose to hire seruants. True it is, said the Maidens, and 
 thither goe we for the same purpose, and would be glad 
 of your company. With a good will, and I am right
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 21 
 
 glad of yours, said she, beseeching - you good Maidens, 
 v ou will doe me the fauour, to tell me what seruice were 
 best for me : for the more too blame my parents, they 
 would neuer put me forth to know any thing. Why 
 what can you doe (quoth the Maidens?) can you brew 
 and bake, make butter and cheese, and reape come 
 well : No verily, said Margaret, but I would be right 
 glad to learne to doe any thing whatsoever it be. If 
 you could spin or card, said another, you might do ex- 
 cellent well with a Clother, for they are the best seruices 
 that I know, there yon shall be sure to fare well, and so 
 liue merrily. 
 
 Then Margaret wept, saying, alas, what shall I doe 1 
 I was neuer brought vp to these things. What, can you 
 doe nothing, quoth they ? No truly (quoth she) that is 
 good for any thing, but I can read and write, and so we, 
 some skill I have in my needle, and a little on my Lute : 
 but this, I see will profit me nothing. Good Lord, quoth 
 they, are you bookish? "wee did neuer heare of a Maide 
 before that could reade and write. And although you 
 can doe no other thing, yet possible you may get a 
 seruice, if you can behaue your selfe manerly. I pray 
 you qd. another, seeing you are bookish, will you doe so 
 much as to reade a loue-letter that is sent me ? for I 
 was at a friends of mine with it, and he was not at home, 
 and so I know not what is in it. I pray you let me see 
 it, quoth Margaret, and I will shew you. Whereupon 
 ;<he readeth as followeth.
 
 22 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 O Ieiiny my ioy, I die for thy loue, 
 And now I heare say that thou dost remoue : 
 And therefore, Ienny, I pray thee recite, 
 Where shall I meete thee soone at night. 
 
 For why, with my Master no more will I stay, 
 But for thy loue I will runne away : 
 
 Ienny, Ienny, thou puttest me to paine, 
 That thou no longer wilt here remaine. 
 
 1 will weare out my shooes of Keats-leather, 
 But thou and I will meete together, 
 
 And in spight of Fortune, Rat, or Mouse, 
 We will dwell together in one house. 
 
 For who doth not esteeme of thee', 
 Shall haue no seruice done of me : 
 Therefore good Ienny haue a care, 
 To meete poore Fragment at the faire. 
 
 Now alas, good soule (quoth Ienny) I thinke he be 
 the kindest young man in the world. The rest answer- 
 ed, that he seemed no lesse, and surely it appeareth 
 that he is a pretty witty fellow, quoth one of them, how 
 finely hee hath written his letter in rime, trust me, I 
 will giue you a good thing, and let me haue a copy of it 
 to send to my sweet-heart : that you shall with all my 
 heart ; and so comming to the faire, they tooke vp their 
 standing. 
 
 Within a while after, goodwife Gray of Glocester 
 eame thither to store her selfe of diuers commodities :
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 2j 
 
 and when shee had bought what she would, she told her 
 neighbour she had great need of a maid-seruant or 
 twaine ; therefore, qd. she, good neighbour goe with me, 
 and let me haue your opinion. With a good will, said 
 her neighbour, and together they went, and looking and 
 viewing the maidens ouer, she tooke speciall notice of 
 Margaret. Beleeue me, quoth shee, there stands a 
 very proper maiden, and one of a modest and comely 
 countenance. Verily, said her neighbour, so she is, as 
 euer I looked vpon. 
 
 The maiden seeing them to view her so well, was so 
 abashed, that a scarlet colour overspred her lilly cheekes, 
 which the woman perceiuing, came vnto her, and asked 
 if she were willing to serue. The maid with a low cur- 
 tesie, and a most gentle speech, answered, it was the 
 onely cause of her comming. Can you spinne or card, 
 said good-wife Gray ? Truly Dame, said she, though 
 my cunning therein be but small, my good will to 
 learne is great, and I trust, my diligence shall content 
 you. What wages will you take, quoth good-wife Gray ? 
 I will referre that, said Margaret, to your conscience 
 and courtesie, desiring no more then what I shall de- 
 serue. Then asking what Country-woman she was, the 
 maiden wept, saying : Ah good Dame, I was vntimely 
 borne in Shropshire, of poore parents, and yet not so 
 needy as vnfortunate, but death hauing ended their 
 sorrowes, hath left me to the cruelty of these enuious 
 times, to finish my Parents Tragedy with my troubles. 
 What ? maiden qd. her dame, haue you a care to doe
 
 24 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 your busincs, and to Hue in Gods feare, and you shall 
 haue no care to regard fortunes frownes, and so they 
 went home together. 
 
 Now, so soone as the good-man saw her, hee asked 
 his wife where she had that maiden ? She said, at the 
 Fa ire. Why then quoth he, thou hast brought all the 
 faire away, and I doubt it were better for vs, to send the 
 faire to another Towne, then to keepe the faire here. 
 Why man, quoth she, what meane you by that ? Woman, 
 I meane this, that she will proue a Loadstone, to draw 
 the hearts of all my men after her, and so we shall haue 
 wise service done of all sides. Then said his wife, I 
 hope, husband, Margaret will have a better care both to 
 her owne credit, and our commodity then so, and so let 
 her alone to looke to such matters. Is thy name Mar- 
 garet, quoth her Master? proper is thy name to thy 
 person, for thou art a pearle indeed, orient, and rich in 
 beauty. 
 
 His wife hearing him say so, began to change her 
 opinion : What husband Cquoth she) is the wind at that 
 doore ? Begin you to like- your maid so well ? I doubt 
 I had most need to looke to your selfe : before God, I 
 had rather then an angell I had chosen some other: 
 but heare you maid, you shall packe hence, I will not 
 nourish a Snake in my bosome, and therefore get you 
 gone, I will none of you, prouide a seruice where you 
 may. 
 
 The maiden hearing her say so, fell downe on her 
 knees, and besought her, saying, O sweet dame, be not
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 25 
 
 so cruell to me, to turne me out of doores, now : alas, I 
 know not where to goe, or what to doe, if you forsake 
 me. O let not the fading beauty of my face dispoile me 
 of your fauour : for rather then that shall hinder my 
 sendee, this my knife shall soone disfigure my face, and 
 I will banish beauty as my greatest enemy. And with 
 that, her aboundant teares stopped her speech, that shee 
 could not vtter one word more. 
 
 The woman seeing this, could not harbour any 
 longer, nor could her Master stay in the roome for 
 weeping. Well, Margaret, said her dame (little know- 
 ing that a Lady kneeled before her) vsing thy selfe 
 well I will keepe thee, and thou shalt haue my 
 good will, if thou gouerne thyselfe with wisedome ; 
 and so she sent her about her businesse, Her hus- 
 band comming to supper, said, How now wife, 
 art thou so doubtfull of me, that thou hast put away thy 
 maiden? I wis (qd. she) you are a wise man, to stand 
 praising of a maidens beauty before her face : and you 
 a wise woman, qd. he, to grow iealous without a cause. 
 So to supper they went, and because Margaret shewed 
 her selfe of finest behauiour aboue the rest, she was 
 appointed to waite on the table. And it is to be vnder- 
 stood, that Gray did neuer eate his meat alone, but still 
 had some of his neighbours with him, before whom be 
 called his maid, saying, Margaret, come hither. Now 
 because there was another of the same name in the 
 house, she made answer, I call not you, maiden, quoth 
 he, but Margeret with the lilly- white hand. After which 
 time she was euer called so.
 
 36 THE PLEASANT HISTO.'UK 
 
 How the Kings Maiestie sent for the Clothiers, and of 
 the sundry fauours which he did them. Chap. 4. 
 
 King Henry prouiding for his voyage into France, 
 against King Lewis and Robert Duke of Normandie his 
 owne brother, committed the Gouernment of the Realme 
 in his absence, to the Bishop of Salisbury, a man of 
 great wisedoine and learning, whom the king esteemed 
 highly, and afterward he thought good to send for the 
 chiefe Clothiers of England, who according to the kings 
 appointment came to the Court, and hauing licence to 
 come before his Maiestie, he spake to this effect. 
 
 The strength of a Kiug is the loue and friendship of 
 his people, and he gouernes ouer his Realme most 
 surely, that ruleth iustice with mercy : for he ought to 
 feare many, whom many doe feare : therefore the 
 Gouernors of the Common-wealth ought to obserue two 
 speciall precepts : the one is, that they so maintaine 
 the profit of the Commons, that whatsoeuer in their 
 calling they doe, they referre it thereunto : the other, 
 that they be alwayes as well carefull ouer the whole 
 Common wealth, as ouer any part thereof; lest, while 
 they vphold the one, the other be brought to vtter decay. 
 
 And forasmuch as I doe vnderstand, and haue partly 
 seene, that you the Clothiers of England are no small 
 benefit to the wealth publike, I thought it good to know 
 from your owne mouthes, if there be any thing not yet 
 granted that may benefit you, or any other thing to be 
 remoued that doth hurt you.
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 27 
 
 The great desire I haue to maintaine you in your 
 trades, hath moued me hereunto. Therefore boldly say 
 what you would haue in the one thing or the other, and 
 I will grant it you. 
 
 With that, they all fell downe vpon their knees, and 
 desired God to saue his Maiestie, and withall, requested 
 three dayes respit to put in their answere : which was 
 graunted. And thereupon they departed. 
 
 When the Clothiers had well considered of these 
 matters, at length they thought mcete to request of his 
 Maiestie for their first benefit, that all the Cloth- 
 measures thorow the Land might be of one length, 
 whereas to their great disaduantage before, euery good 
 towne had a seuerall measure, the difficulty thereof was 
 such, that they could not keepe them in memory, nor 
 know how to keepe their reckonings. The second thing 
 whereof they found themselues grieued, was this, that 
 the people would not take crackt money, though it were 
 neuer so good siluer ? whereupon it came to passe, that 
 the Clothiers and diuers others, receiuing great sumines 
 of money, doe take among it much crackt money, it 
 serued them to no vse, because it would not goe currant, 
 but lay vpon their hands without profit or benefit^ 
 whereof they prayed reformation. The third was a 
 griefe, whereof Hodgekins of Halifax complained, and 
 that was, That whereas the Towne of Halifax liued al- 
 together vpon Cloathing, and by the reason of false 
 borderers, and other euill minded persons, they were oft 
 robbed, and had their clothes carried out of their fieldes,
 
 8 Tllii. PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 where they were drying : That it would please his Ma- 
 iestie to graunt the Towne this priuilege, That what- 
 soever he was that was taken stealing their Cloth, might 
 presently without any further tryall be hanged up. 
 When the day of their appearance approached, the 
 Clothiers came before the King, and deliuered vp their 
 petition in writing, which his Maiestie most graciously 
 perusing, said, hee was ready to fulfill their request : 
 and therefore for the first point of their Petition, he 
 called for a staffe to be brought him, and measuring 
 thereupon the iust length of his owne arme, deliuered it 
 to the Clothifcrs, saying, This measure shall be called a 
 yard, and no other measure thorowout all the Realme of 
 England shali be vsed for the same, and by this shall 
 men buy and sell, and we will so prouide, that whoso- 
 euer he be that abuseth our subiects by any false mea- 
 sure, that he shall not onely pay a fine for the same to 
 the King, but also haue his body punished by imprison- 
 ment. And as concerning the second point of your 
 Petition, because of my sudden departure out of the 
 Land, I know not better how to ease you of this griefe 
 (of crackt money) this Decree 1 make, because they 
 account crackt money not currant, I say, none shall be 
 currant but crackt money. And therefore I will giue 
 present charge, that all the money thorow the Land shall 
 be slit, and so you shall suffer no losse. 
 
 But now for your last request for the Towne of 
 Halifax ; where by theeues your Clothes are so often 
 stolne from you, seeing the Lawes already prouided in
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 29 
 
 that case, are not sufficient to keepe men in awe, it is 
 indeed high time to haue sharper punishment for them. 
 
 With that Hodgekins vnmannerly interrupted the 
 King, saying in broad Northerne speech, Yea gude faith, 
 mai Liedg, the faule eule of mai saule, gift any 'thing- 
 will keepe them whiat, till the karles be hanged by the 
 cragge. What the dule care they for boaring their 
 eyne, sea lang as they may gae groping vp and downe 
 the Country like fause lizar lownes, begging and 
 craking ? 
 
 The King smiling to heare this rough-hewne fellow 
 make this reply : Content thee Hodgekins, for we will 
 have redresse for all : and albeit that hanging of men 
 was never seene in England, yet seeing the corrupt 
 world is growne more bold in all wickednesse, I thinke 
 it not amisse to ordain this death for such malefactors : 
 and peculiarly to the towne of Halifax I giue this pri- 
 uilege, That whosoever they finde stealing their Cloth, 
 being taken with the goods, that without further iudge- 
 ment, they shall be hanged vp. 
 
 Thus (said our King) I haue granted what you re- 
 quest, and if hereafter you find any other thing that 
 may be good for you, it shall be granted ; for no longer 
 would I desire to Hue among you, then I have care for 
 the good of the Common-wealth: at which words ended, 
 the king rose from his Royall Throne, while the Clothiers 
 on their knees prayed for both his health, and happy 
 successe, and shewed themselves most thankefull for his 
 Highnesses fauour. His Maiestie bending his body
 
 30 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 towards them, that at his home returne, hee would (hy 
 the grace of God) visit them. 
 
 How the Clothiers had prouided a sumptuous feast for 
 the Kings sonnes, Prince William and Prince Robert, 
 at Gerards Hall ; shewing also what chance befell 
 Cutbert of Kendall at that same instant. Chap. 5. 
 The Clothiers departing from the Court in a merry 
 mind, ioyfull of their good successe, each one to other 
 praised and magnified the Kings great wisedome and 
 vertue, commending also his affability and gentle dis- 
 position, so that Hodgekins affirmed on his faith, that 
 hee had rather speake to his Kings Maiestie, then to 
 many Justices of peace. Indeed (said Cole) he is a 
 most mild and mercifull Prince, and I pray God he may 
 long raigne over vs. Amen said the rest. 
 
 Then said Cole, My Masters, shall we forget the 
 great courtesie of the Kings sonnes, those sweet and 
 gentle Princes, that still showed us fauour in our suite ? 
 in my opinion, it were reason to gratifie them in some 
 sort, that we may not vtterly bee condemned of ingra- 
 titude wherefore (if you thinke good) we will prepare a 
 banquet for them at our Oast Garrats, who as you know 
 hath a faire house, and goodly roomes : Besides, the 
 man himselfe is a most courageous mind and good be- 
 hauiour, sufficient to entertain a Prince ; his wife also is 
 a dainty fine Cooke : all which considered, I know not a 
 fitter place in London. Tis true, quoth Sutton, and if 
 the rest be content, I am pleased it shall be so. At
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 31 
 
 this they all answered, Yea, for quoth they, it will not 
 be passing forty shillings a piece, and that we shall re- 
 couer in our crackt money. 
 
 Being thus agreed, the feast was prepared. Tom 
 Doue, quoth they, we will commit the prouiding of 
 musicke to thee : and I, said Cole, will inuite diuers 
 of our Merchants and their wiues to the same. That is 
 well remembred, said Gray. Upon this they called to 
 the Oast and Oastesse, shewing their determination, 
 who most willingly said, all things should be made 
 ready, but I would haue two dayes liberty, said the 
 goodwife, to prepare my house and other things. Con- 
 tent, said the Clothiers, in the meane space we will bid 
 our guests, and dispatch our other affaires. But Simon 
 of Southampton charged his Oastesse, that in any case 
 she should not forget to make good store of pottage. It 
 shall be done, quoth she. 
 
 It is to be remembred, that while this preparation 
 was in hand, that Cutb. of Kendall had not forgot his 
 kindnes to his Oastesse of Bosomes Inne. Therefore 
 finding time conuenient when her husband was ouersee- 
 ing his hay-makers, hee greeted her in this sort, Sweet 
 Oastesse, though I 'were the last time I was in towne, 
 ouer-bold with you, yet I hope it was not so offensiue to 
 you, as you made shew for. Bold, my Cutbert ? quoth 
 she, thou hast vowed thy selfe my seruant : and so being, 
 you are not to bee blamed for doing what I wild you. 
 By my honesty, I could not chuse but smile to my selfe, 
 so soone as I was out of their sight, to thinke how
 
 32 THE PLEASANT IIJSTORIB 
 
 prettily you began to brabble. But now, quoth he, we 
 will change our chidings to hissings, and it vexeth me 
 that these cherry lipps should be subiect to such a Lob- 
 cocke as thy husband. 
 
 Subiect to him, quoth she: In faith sir, no, I will 
 haue my lips at as much liberty as my tongue, the one 
 to say what I list, and the other to touch whom I like : 
 In troth, shall I tell thee, Cutbert, the churles breath 
 smels so strong, that I care as much for kissing of him, 
 as for looking on him : it is such a mis-shapen mizer, 
 and such a bundle of beastlinesse, that I can neuer 
 thinke on him without spitting. Fie vpon him, I would 
 my friends had carried me to my grauc, when they went 
 with me to the Church, to make him my husband. And 
 so shedding a few dissembling teares, she stopt. What, 
 my sweet Mistresse (quoth he) weepe you? Nay sit 
 downe by my side, and I will sing thee one of my 
 Countrey Iigges to make thee merry. Wilt thou in faith 
 (quoth shee) ?) Yes verily, said Cutbert: and in troth, 
 quoth she, if you fall a-singing I will sing with you. That 
 is well you can so suddenly change your notes, quoth 
 Cutbert, then haue at it. 
 
 Man. Long haue I lou'd this bonny Lasse, 
 Yet durst not shew the same. 
 
 Wom. Therein you proue your selfe an Asse, 
 
 Man. I was the more to blame. 
 
 Yet still will I remaine to thee, 
 Trang dilly do, trang dilly : 
 Thy friend and louer secretly, 
 
 Wom. Thou art my owne sweet bully.
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 33 
 
 Man. But when shall I enioy thee, 
 
 delight of thy faire loue 1 
 Wom. Euen when thou seest that fortune doth 
 
 all manner lets remoue. 
 Man. O, I will fold thee in my armes, 
 
 Trang dilly do, trang dilly, 
 And keepe thee so from sudden harmes. 
 Wom. Thou art my owne sweet bully. 
 
 Wom. My husband he is gone from home, 
 
 you know it very well. 
 Man. But when will he returne againe 1 
 Wom. In truth I cannot tell. 
 
 If long he keepe him out of sight, 
 
 Trang dilly do, trang dilly. 
 Be sure thou shalt haue thy delight. 
 Man. Thou art my bonny lassie. 
 
 While they were singing this song, her husband being 
 on a sudden come home, stood secretly in a corner and 
 heard all, and blessing himselfe with both his hands, 
 said, O abominable dissimulation, monstrous hypocrisie, 
 and are you in this humour? can you brawle together 
 and sing together ? Well, (id. hee, I will let them alone, 
 to see a little more of their knauery. Neuer did Cat 
 watch Mouse so narrowly, as I will watch them : And 
 so going into the kitchin, be asked his wife if it were not 
 dinner time. Euen by and by, husband (quoth she) the 
 meat will be ready. Presently after comes in Hodge- 
 kins and Martin, who straight asked for Cutbert of
 
 34 THIS l'LEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 Kendall. Answer was made, that he was in his chamber. 
 So when they had called him, they went to dinner : then 
 (hey requested that their ( 'ast and Oastesse would sit 
 with them. 
 
 Husband, said she, you may goe if you please : but 
 as for me, I will desire pardon. Nay, good-wife, goe vp, 
 said her husband. What woman, you must beare with 
 your guests. Why husband, qd. she, doe you thinke 
 that any can beare the flirts and fromps, which that 
 Northerne tike gaue me the last time he was in towne ; 
 now God forgiue me, I had as liefe see the diuell as to 
 see him : therefore good husband goe vp your selfe, and 
 let me alone, for in faith, I shall neuer abide that Jacke 
 while I Hue. Upon these words away went her husband, 
 and though he said little, he thought the more. Now 
 when he came vp, his guests bade him welcome. I pray 
 you sit downe, good mine Oast, quoth they, where is 
 your wife ? What will she sit with vs ? No verily, said 
 he, the foolish woman hath taken such a displeasure 
 against Cutbert, that she sweares she will neuer come in 
 his company. Is it so, said the other ? then trust me 
 we are well agreed : and I sweare by my fathers sale, 
 qd. hee, that were it not meete for good will to you, 
 then loue to her, I would neuer come to your house 
 meere. I beleeue it well, said old Bosome. And so 
 with other communication they droue out the time, till 
 dinner was ended. 
 
 After they were risen, Martin and Hodgekins got 
 them forth about their affaires, but Cutb. tooke his Oast
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 35 
 
 by the hand, saying, My Oast, He goe talke with your 
 wife ; for my part I thought we had bin friends : but 
 seeing her stomacke is so big, and her heart so great, I 
 will see what she will say to me ; and with that he stept 
 into the kitchin, saying, God speed you Oastis. It must 
 be when you are away then, said she. What is your 
 reason, said the other ? Because God neuer comes where 
 knaues are present. Gip goodly draggletaile, qd. he, 
 had I such a wife, I would present her tallow-face to the 
 deuill for a candle. With that she bent her brovves, and 
 like a Fury of hell began to flie at him, saying, Why 
 you gag-tooth Jacke, you blinking companion, get thee 
 out of my kitchin quickly, or with my powdred beefe- / 
 broth, I will make your pate as bald as a Fryers. 
 
 Get me gone, quoth he? thou shalt not bid me twice : 
 out you durty heeles, you will make your husbands haire 
 growe thorow his hood I doubt : and with that he got 
 him into the Hall, and sat him downe on the bench by 
 his Oast, to whom he said i 'Tis pittie, my Oast, that 
 your aged yeeres that loues quietnesse, should be trou- 
 bled with such a scolding queane. I, God helpe me, 
 God helpe me, quoth the old man, and so went towards 
 the stable : which his wife watching, suddenly stept out 
 and gaue Cutbert a kisse. 
 
 Within an houre after, the old man craftily called for 
 his Nag to ride to field : but as soone as he was s-one. 
 Cutbert and his Oastesse were such good friends, that 
 they got into one of Ware-houses, and lockt the doore to 
 them : but her husband hailing set a spie for the purpose,
 
 lib THE PLEASANT IIISTORIE 
 
 suddenly turned backe, and called for a capcase which 
 lay in the Warehouse. The seruant could not find the 
 key by any meanes. Whereupon hee called to haue the 
 locke broke open. Which they within hearing, opened 
 the doore of their owne accord. So soone as her husband 
 espied her in that place, with admiration he said : O 
 passion of my heart, what doe you here ? what, you two 
 that cannot abide one another ? what make you so close 
 together? is your chiding- and rayling, brabling, and 
 brauling, come to this? O what dissemblers are these ! 
 Why, my Oast, qd. Cutbert, what need you take the 
 matter so hot ? I gaue a Cheese te my Country-man 
 Hodgekins, to lay vp, and deliuered it to your wife to be 
 keept; and then is it not reason, that she should come 
 and seeke me my Cheese ? O, quoth the old man, belike 
 the dore was lockt, because the Cheese should not run- 
 away. The doore said his wife vnknowne to vs clapt to 
 it selfe, and hauing a spring locke, was presently fast- 
 Well, huswife, qd. he, I will giue you as much credit as 
 a Crocadile, but as for your companion, I will teach him 
 to come hither to looke Cheeses. 
 
 And with that he caused his men to take him pre- 
 sently, and to bind him hand and foot. Which being 
 done, they drew him vp in a basket into the smoky louer 
 of the hall, and there they did let him hang all that 
 night, euen till the next day dinner time, when he should 
 haue beene at the banquet with the Princes : for neither 
 Hodgekins nor Martin could intreat their inflamed Oast 
 to let him downe-
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 37 
 
 And in such a heate was hee driuen with drawing 
 him vp, that he was faine to cast off his gownes, his 
 coates, and two paire of his stockings, to coole himselfe, 
 making a vow he should hang there seuen yeeres, except 
 the Kings sons came in person to beg his pardon, which 
 most of all grieued Cutb. When Cole and the rest of the 
 Westerne-Yeomen heard hereof, they could not chuse 
 but laugh, to thinke that he was so taken tardy. 
 
 The young Princes hauing giuen promise to be with 
 the clothiers, kept their houre, but when all the rest 
 went to giue them entertainment, Simon was so busie in 
 supping his pottage, that he could not spare so much 
 time. Which when the Princes saw, with a smiling 
 countenance they said, Sup Simon, theres good broth : 
 or else beshrew our Oastesse, quoth he, neuer looking 
 behind him to see who spake, till the Prince clapt him 
 on the shoulder. But good Lord, how blanke he was 
 when hee spied them, knowing not how to excuse the 
 matter. 
 
 Well, the Princes hauing ended their banket, Garrat 
 comes and with one of his hands tooke the table of six- 
 teene foote long quite from the grouud ouer their heads, 
 from before the Princes, and set it on the other side of 
 the hall, to the great admiration of all them that 
 beheld it. 
 
 The Princes being then ready to depart, the Clothiers 
 moued them in pleasant maner, to be good to one of 
 their company, that did neither sit, lie, nor stand. Then 
 hee must needs hang, qd. the Princes. And so he doth, 
 
 57877
 
 38 THE 1'LKASANT HISTORIE 
 
 most excellent Princes, (jd. they ; and therewithall told 
 them the whole matter. When they heard the storie, 
 downe to Bosomes Inne they goe, where looking vp into 
 the roofe, spied poore Cutbert pinned vp in a basket, 
 and almost smoaked to death, who although hee were 
 greatly ashamed, yet most pitifully desired that they 
 would get him release. 
 
 What is his trespasse, said the Prince ? Nothing if it 
 shall like your Grace, qd. he, but for looking for a 
 cheese : But hee could not find it without my wife, said 
 the good-man : the villaine hud lately dined with mutton, 
 and could not digest his meate without cheese, for which 
 cause I haue made him to fast these twenty houres, to 
 the end he may haue a better stomacke to eate his 
 dinner, then to vse dalliance. 
 
 Let me intreate you, quoth the Prince, to release 
 him : and if euer hereafter you catch him in the come, 
 clappe him in the pownd. Your Grace shall request or 
 command any thing at my hand, said the old man : and 
 so Cutbert was let downe vnbound, but when he was 
 loose, he vowed neuer to come within that house more. 
 And it is said, the old man Bosome ordained, that in 
 remembrance of this deed, euery yeere once all such as 
 came thither to aske for cheeses, should be so serued : 
 which thing is to this day kept.
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 39 
 
 How Simons wife of Southampton, being wholly bent to 
 pride and pleasure, requested her husband to see 
 London, which being granted, how she got good-wife 
 Sutton of Salisbury to goe with her, who tooke Crab 
 to go along with them, and how he prophecied of 
 many things. Chap. 6. 
 
 The Clothiers being all come from London, Suttous* 
 wife of South-hampton, who was with her husband very 
 mery and pleasant, brake her mind vnto him in this 
 sort : 
 
 Good Lord, husband, will you neuer be so kind as 
 let me goe to London with you? shall I be pend vp in 
 South-hampton, like a Parrat in a cage, or a Capon in a 
 coope? I would request no more of vou in lieu of all 
 my paines, carke and care, but to bane one weeks time 
 to see that faire City : what is this life, if it be not mixt 
 with some delight ? and what delight is more pleasing 
 theu to see the fashions and mauers of vnknowne places? 
 Therefore good husband, if thou louestme deny not this 
 simple request. You know I am no common gadder, 
 nor haue oft troubled you with trauell. God knowes, 
 this may be the last thing that euer I shall request at 
 your hands. 
 
 Woman, quoth he, I would willingly satisfie your 
 desire, but you know it is not conuenient for both of vs 
 to be abroad, our charge is so great, and therefore our 
 care ought not not be small. If you will goe your selfe, 
 one of my men shall goe with you, and money enough 
 
 * Qu. Simon's. + Qu. to.
 
 40 THE PLEASANT HISTORIC 
 
 you shall hane in your purse : but to goe with you my 
 selfe, you see my businesse will not permit me. 
 
 Husband, said she, I accept your gentle offer, and it 
 may be I shall intreat my gossip Sutton to goe along 
 with me. I shall be glad qd. her husband, prepare your 
 selfe when you will- 
 When she had obtained this licence, she sent her 
 man Welsell to Salisbury, to kuow of good-wife Sutton 
 if shee would keepe her company to London. Suttons 
 wife being as willing to goe, as she was to request, 
 ncuer rested till she had gotten leaue of her husband ; 
 the which when she had obtained, casting in her mind 
 their pleasure would bee small, being but they twaine : 
 thereupon the wily woman sent letters by collericke 
 Crabbe her man, both to Grayes wife, and Fitzallens 
 wife, that they would meet them at Reading, who liking 
 well of the match, consented, and did so prouide, that 
 they met according to promise at Reading, and from 
 thence with Coles wife they went all together, with each 
 of them a man to London, each one taking vp their 
 lodging with a seuerall friend. 
 
 When the Merchants of London vnderstood they 
 were in towne, they inuited them euery day home to 
 their owne houses, where they had delicate good cheere : 
 and when they went abroad to see the commodities of 
 the City, the Merchants wiues euer bore them company, 
 being attired most dainty and fine : which when the 
 Clothiers wiues did see, it grieued their hearts they had 
 not the like.
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 41 
 
 Now, when they were brought into Cheap-side, there 
 with great wonder they beheld the shops of the Gold- 
 smiths ; and on the other side, the wealthy Mercers, 
 whose shops shined with all sorts of coloured silkes : in 
 Watling-street they viewed the great number of Drapers : 
 in Saint Martins, Shoomakers: at Saint Nicholas Church, 
 the flesh shambles ; at the end of the old Change, the 
 Fish-mongers : in Candleweek-street, the Weauers : then 
 came into the lewes-street, where all the Iewes did inha- 
 bite : then came they to Blackwel-hall, where the Coun- 
 try Clothiers did vse to ineete. 
 
 Afterwards they proceeded, and came to S. Pauls 
 Church, whose steeple was so hie, that it seemed to 
 pierce the clowdes, on the top whereof, was a great and 
 mighty Weather-cocke, of cleaue siluer, the which not- 
 withstanding seemed as small as a sparrow to mens eyes 5 
 it stood so exceeding high, the which goodly Weather- 
 cocke was afterwards stolne away, by a cunning Cripple, 
 who found meanes one night to clime vp to the top of 
 the steeple, and tooke it downe : with the which, and a 
 great summe of money which he had got together by 
 begging in his life time, he builded a gate on the North 
 side of the City, which to this day is called Cripple- 
 gate. 
 
 From thence they went to the Tower of London, 
 which was builded by Iulius Caesar, who was Emperour 
 of Rome. And there they beheld salt and wine, which 
 hadlyen there cuer since the Romanes inuaded this Land, 
 which was many yeeres before our Sauiour Christ was
 
 42 THE PLEASANT HISTOKIE 
 
 borne, the wine was growne so thicke, that it might 
 haue beene cut like a Ielly. And in that place also they 
 saw the money that was made of leather, which in an- 
 cient time went currant amongst the people. 
 
 When they had to their great contentation beheld all 
 this, they repaired to their lodgings, hauing also a 
 sumptuous supper ordained for them, with all delight 
 that might be. And you shall vnderstand, that when 
 the Country Weauers, which came up with their dames, 
 saw the Weauers of Candlewike-street, they had great 
 desire presently to haue some conference with them ; 
 and thus one began to challenge the other for worke- 
 manship : quoth Weasell, He worke with any of you all 
 for a crowne, take if you dare, and he that makes his 
 yard of cloth soonest, shall haue it. You shall be 
 wrought withall, said the other, and if it were for ten 
 crownes : but we will make this bargaine, that each of 
 vs shall winde their ovvne quilles. Content, quoth 
 Weasell : and so to worke they went, but Weasell lost. 
 Whereupon another of them tooke the matter in hand, 
 who lost likewise: so that the London Weauers trium- 
 phed against the Country, casting forth diuers frumps. 
 
 Alas poore fellowes, quoth they, your hearts are 
 good, but your hands are ill. Tush, the fault was in 
 their legs, quoth another, pray you friend, were you not 
 borne at home ? Why doe you aske, quoth Weasell ? 
 Because, said hee, the biggest place of your legge is 
 next to your shooe. 
 
 Crab hearing this, being Cholericke of nature, chafed
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 43 
 
 like a man of Law at the Barre, and he wagers with 
 them four crownes to twaine: the others agreed, to 
 worke they go : but Crab conquered them all. Where- 
 upon the London Weauers were nipt in the head like 
 birds, and had not a word to say. 
 
 Now, saith Crab, as we haue lost nothing, so you 
 haue wonne nothing, and because 1 know you cannot be 
 right Weauers, except you be good-fellowes, therefore if 
 you will goe with vs, we will bestow the Ale vpon you. 
 That is spoken like a good-fellow and like a Weauer, 
 quoth the other. So along they went as it were to the 
 signe of the red Crosse. 
 
 When they were set downe, and had drunke well, 
 they began merrily to prattle, and to extoll Crab to the 
 skies. Whereupon Crab protested, that hee would come 
 and dwell among them. Nay, that must not be, said a 
 London Weauer : the King hath giuen vs priuiledge, that 
 none should Hue among us, but such as serue seuen 
 yeeres in London. With that Crab, according to his old 
 mancr of prophesying, said thus: 
 
 The day is very neere at hand, 
 When as tbe King of this faire Land, 
 Shal priuiledge you more then so : 
 Then Weauers shall in skarlet goe. 
 
 And to one brotherhood be brought, 
 The first is in London wrought, 
 When other Trades-men by your fame. 
 Shall couet all to doe the same.
 
 14 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 Then shall you all liue wondrous well, 
 But this one thing I shall you tell : 
 The- day will come before the doome,' 
 In Candleweek-street shall stand no loome. 
 
 Nor any Weauer dwelling there, 
 But men that shall more credit beare : 
 For Clothing shall be sore decayde, 
 And men vndone that vse that trade. 
 
 And yet the day some men shall see, 
 This trade againe shall raised be. 
 When as Bayliffe of Sarum towne ; 
 Shall buy and purchase Bishops downe. 
 
 When there neuer man did sow, 
 Great store of goodly come shall grow ; 
 And Woad, that makes all colours sound, 
 Shall spring vpon that barren ground. 
 
 At that same day I tell you plaine, 
 Who so aliue doth then remaine, 
 A proper Maiden they shall see, 
 Within the towne of Salisburie, 
 
 Of fauour sweet, and nature kind, 
 With goodly eyes, and yet starke blind, 
 This poore blind Maiden I do say, 
 In age shall goe in rich aray. 
 
 And he that takes her to his wife, 
 Shall lead a ioyfull happy life, 
 The wealthiest Clothier shall he be, 
 That euer was in that Country.
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 45 
 
 But clothing kept as it hath beene, 
 In London neuer shall be seene : 
 For Weauers then the most shall win, 
 That worke for clothing next the skin. 
 
 Till pride the Common-wealth doth peele, 
 And causeth huswiues leaue their wheele. 
 Then pouerty vpon each side, 
 Vnto those workernen shall betide. 
 
 At that time, from Eagles nest, 
 That proudly builded in the West, 
 A sorte shall come with cunning hand, 
 To bring strange weauiug in this Land, 
 
 And by their gaines that great will fall, 
 They shall maintaine the Weauers Hall : 
 But long they shall not flourish so, 
 But folly will them ouerthrow. 
 
 And men shall count it mickle shame, 
 To beare that kind of Weauers name, 
 And this as sure shall come to passe, 
 As here is Ale within this glasse. 
 
 When the silly soules that sate about him heard him 
 speake in this sort, they admired, and honoured Crabhe 
 for the same. Why my masters, said Weasell, doe you 
 wonder at these words? he will tell you twenty of these 
 tales, for which cause we call him our canuas Prophet : 
 his attire fits his title, said they, and we neuer heard the 
 like in our liues : and if this should be true, it would be 
 strange. Doubt not but it will be true, qd. Weasell;
 
 -1(3 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 for He tell you what, he did but once see our Nicke 
 kisse Nel, and presently he powred out this rime: 
 
 That kisse, O Nell, God giue thee ioy, 
 Will nine months hence breed thee a boy. 
 
 And He tell you what, you shall heare : we kept 
 reckoning-, and it fell out iust as Iones buttockes on a 
 close stoole, for which cause our maids durst neuer kisse 
 a man in his sight ; vpon this they broke company, and 
 went euery one about his business, the London Weauers 
 to their frames, and the Country fellowes to theirDames, 
 who after their great banqueting and merriment, went 
 euery one home to their owne houses, though with lesse 
 money than they brought out, yet with more pride. 
 
 Especially Simons wife of South-hampton, who told 
 the rest of her gossips, that she saw no reason, but that 
 their husbands should maintaine them, as well as the 
 Merchants did their wiues : for I tell you what, quoth 
 she, we are as proper women (in my conceit,) as the 
 proudest of them all, as handsome of body, as faire of 
 face, our legs as well made, and our feet as fine: then 
 what reason is there (seeing our husbands are of as good 
 wealth,) but we should be as well maintained. 
 
 You say true gossip, said Suttous wife : trust me, it 
 made me blush, to see them braue it out so gallantly 
 and wee to goe so homely : but before God said the other, I 
 will haue my husband to buy me a London gowne, or in 
 faith he shall haue little quiet : so shall mine said an- 
 other: and mine too, qd. the third: and all of them
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 47 
 
 sing the same note : so that when they came home, their 
 husbands had little to doe : Especially Simon, whose wife 
 daily lay at him for London apparell, to whome he said, 
 Good woman, be content, let us goe according to our place 
 and ability: what will the Bailiffes thinke,if I should 
 prancke thee up like a peacocke, and thou in thy attire 
 surpasse their wiues ? they would either thinke I were 
 mad, or else that I had more money then I could well 
 vse, consider, I pray thee good wife, that such as are in 
 their youth masters, doe proue in their age starke 
 beggars. 
 
 Beside that, it is enough to raise me vp in the kings 
 booke, for many times, mens coffers are iudged by their 
 garments : why, we are Country folks, and must keepe 
 our selues in good compasse : gray russet, and good 
 hempe-spun cloth doth best become vs ; I tell thee wife, 
 it were as vndecent for vs to goe like Londoners as it is 
 for Londoners to goe like courtiers. 
 
 What a coyle keepe you, quoth she ? are not we Gods 
 creatures as well as Londoners ? and the kings subiects, 
 as well as they ? then finding our wealth to be as good 
 as theirs, why should we not goe as gay as Londoners ? 
 No, husband, no, here is the fault, wee are kept without 
 it, onely because our husband be not so kind as Lon- 
 doners : why man, a cobler there keepes his wife better 
 then the best Clothier in this Countrey : nay, I will 
 uffirme it, that the London Oyster-wiues, and the very 
 kitchin-stuffe cryers, doe exceed vs in their Sundaies 
 attire : nay, more then that, I did see the Water-bearers
 
 48 THE PLEASANT HIST0UIE 
 
 wife which belongs to one of our Merchants, come in 
 with a Tankerd of Water on her shoulder, and yet halfe 
 a dozen gold rings on her fingers. You may then thinke, 
 wife (quoth he) she got them not with idlenesse. 
 
 But wife, you must consider what London is, the 
 chiefe and capitall City of all the Land, a place on the 
 which all strangers cast their eyes, it is (wife) the Kings 
 Chamber and his Maiesties royall seate : to that City 
 repaires all Nations vnder heauen. Therefore it is most 
 meete and conuenient, that the Citizens of such a City 
 should not goe in their apparell like peasants, but for 
 the credit of our Country, weare such seemely habits, as 
 doe carry grauity and comelinesse in the eyes of all 
 beholders. But if wee of the Country went so (quoth 
 she) were it not as great credit for the Land as the 
 other? Woman, qd. her husband, it is altogether 
 needlesse, and in diuers respects it may not be. Why 
 then, I pray you, quoth she, let us go dwell at London. 
 A word soone spoken, said her husband, but not so 
 easie to be performed : therefore wife, I pray thee hold 
 thy prating, for thy talk is foolish : yea, yea husband, 
 your old churlish conditions will neuer be left, you keepe 
 me heere like a drudge and a droile, and so you may keepe 
 your money in your purse, you care not for your credit, 
 but before I will goe so like a shepheardesse, I will first 
 goe naked : and I tell you plaine, I scorne it greatly, 
 that you should clap a gray gowne on my backe, as if I 
 had not brought you two pence: before I was married, 
 you swore I should haue any thing that I requested, but
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 40 
 
 now all is forgotten. And in saying this, she went in, 
 and soone after she was so sicke, that needes she must 
 goe to bed: and when she was laid, she draue out that 
 night with many grieuous groanes, sighing and sobbing, 
 and no rest she could take God wot. And in the morn- 
 ing when shee should rise, the good soule fell downe in a 
 swovvne, which put her maidens in a great flight, who 
 running downe to their master, cryed out ; Alas, alas, 
 our Dame is dead, our Dame is dead. . The good-man 
 hearing this, ran vp in all hast and there fell to rubbing 
 and chafing of her temples, sending for aqua vitse, and 
 saying, Ah my sweet-heart, speake to me, good-wife, 
 alacke, alacke ; call in the neighbours, you queanes, quoth 
 he. With that she left vp her head, fetching a great 
 groane, and presently swouned againe, and much a doe 
 ywis, he had to keepe life in her : but when she was 
 come to her selfe, How dost thou wife, qd. he ? What 
 wilt thou haue ? for Gods sake tell me if thou hast a 
 mind to any thing, thou shalt haue it. Away dissembler 
 (qd. she) how can I beleeve thee? thou hast said to 
 me as much a hundred times, and deceiued me, it is thy 
 churlishnesse that hath killed my heart, neuer was 
 woman matcht to so vnkind a man- 
 Nay, good-wife, blame me not without cause ; God 
 knoweth how heartily I loue thee. Loue me ? no, no, 
 thou didst neuer carry my loue but on the tip of thy 
 tongue, quoth she, I dare sweare thou desirest nothing 
 so much as my death, and for my part, I would to God 
 thou hadst thy desire : but be content, I shall not trouble 
 
 E
 
 50 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 thee long ; and with that fetching a sigh, shee swouned 
 and gaue a great groane- The man seeing her in this 
 case, was woundrous woe : but so soone as they had re- 
 couered her, he said, O my deare wife, if any bad conceit 
 hath ingendered this sickeuesse, let me know it ; or if 
 thou knowst any thing that may procure thy health, let 
 me vnderstand thereof, and I protest thou shalt haue it, 
 if it cost me all that euer 1 haue. 
 
 O husband, quoth she, how may I credit your words, 
 when for a paltry sute of apparell you denyed me ? 
 Well, wife, quoth he, thou shalt haue apparell or any 
 thing else thou wilt request, if God send thee once 
 health. O husband, if I may find you so kind, I shall 
 thinke my selfe the happiest woman in the world, thy 
 words haue greatly comforted my heart, mee thinketh 
 if I had it, I could drinke a good draught of Renish 
 wine. Well, wine was sent for : O Lord, said she, that 
 I had a piece of a chicken, I feele my stomache desirous 
 of some meate : Glad am I of that, said her husband, 
 and so the woman within a few dayes after was very 
 well. 
 
 But you shall vnderstand, that her husband was faine 
 to dresse her London-like, ere he could get her quiet, 
 neither would it please her except the stuffe was bought, 
 in Cheapside : for out of Cheapside nothing would con- 
 tent her, were it neuer so good : insomuch, that if she 
 thought a Taylor of Cheapside made not her gowne, she 
 would sweare it were quite spoiled. 
 
 And hauing thus wonne her husband to her will,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 51 
 
 when the rest of the Clothiers vviues heard thereof, they 
 would be suted in the like sort too ; so that euer since, 
 the wiues of South-hampton, Salisbury, of Glocester, 
 Worcester, and Reading, went all as gallant and as braue 
 as any Londoners wiues. 
 
 How the Clothiers sent the King aide into France, and 
 how he ouercame his brother Robert, and brought 
 him into England, and how the Clothiers feasted his 
 Maiesty and his sonne at Reading. Chap. 7. 
 
 The Kings Maiestie being at the warres in France, 
 against Lewis the French King, and Duke Robert of 
 Normandy, sending for diuers supplies of Souldiers out 
 of England, the Clothiers at their owne proper cost set 
 out a great number, and sent them ouer to the King. 
 
 Which Roger Bishop of Salisbury, who gouerned the 
 Realme in the Kings absence, did certifie the King 
 thereof, with his letters written in their commendations. 
 
 And afterwards it came to passe, that God sent his 
 Highnes victory ouer his enemies, and hauing taken his 
 brother prisoner, brought him most ioyfully with him 
 into England, and appointed him to be kept in Cardife 
 Castle prisoner, yet with this fauour, that he might hunt 
 and hawke where he would, vp and downe the Country, 
 and in this sorte hee liued a good while, of whom we will 
 speake more at large hereafter. 
 
 The King being thus come home, after his Winters 
 rest, he made his Summers progresse into the West- 
 countrey, to take a view of all the chiefe Townes :
 
 62 THE PLEASANT HISTOKIE 
 
 whereof the Clothiers being aduertised, they made great 
 preparation against his comming, because he had pro- 
 mised to visit them all. 
 
 And when his Grace came to Reading, he was enter- 
 tained and receiued with great ioy and triumph : Thomas 
 Cole being the chiefe man of regard in all the Towne, 
 the King honored his house with his Princely presence, 
 where during the Kings abode, he, and his sonne, and 
 Nobles were highly feasted. 
 
 There the King beheld the great number of people, 
 that was by that one man maintained in worke, whose 
 hearty affection and loue toward his Maiestie did 
 well appeare, as well by their outward countenances, 
 as their gifts presented vnto him. But of Cole him- 
 selfe the King was so well perswaded, that he committed 
 such trust in him, and put him in great authority 
 in the Towne. Furthermore the King said, That for 
 the loue which those people bore him liuing, that hee 
 would lay his bones among them when he was dead. 
 For I know not, said he, where they may be better be- 
 stowed, till the blessed day of resurrection, then among 
 these my friends which are like to be happy partakers of 
 the same. 
 
 Whereupon his Maiesty caused there to be builded a 
 most goodly and famous Abbey : in which he might 
 shew his deuotion to God, by increasing his seruice, and 
 leaue example to other his successors to doe the like. 
 Likewise within the towne he after builded a faire and 
 goodly Castle, in the which he often kept his Court,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING 53 
 
 which was a place of his chiefe residence (luring his life, 
 saying to the Clothiers, that seeing he found them such 
 faithfull subiects, he would be their neighbour, and dwell 
 among them. 
 
 After his Maiesties Royall feasting at Reading, he 
 proceeded in progresse, till he had visited the whole 
 West-countries, being wondrously delighted, to see those 
 people so diligent to apply their businesse : and com- 
 ming to Salisbury, the Bishop receiued his Maiesty 
 with great ioy, and with triumph attended on his Grace 
 to his Palace, where his Highnesse lodged. 
 
 There Sutton the Clothier presented his Highnesse 
 with a broad cloth, of so fine a thread, and exceeding 
 good workmanship, and therewithall of so faire a colour, 
 as his Grace gaue commendation thereof, and as it is 
 said, he held it in such high estimation, that thereof he 
 made his Parliament robes, and the first Parliament that 
 was euer in England, was graced with the Kings person 
 in those robes, in requitall whereof his Highness after- 
 ward yeelded Sutton many princely fauours. 
 
 And it is to be remembred, that Simon of South- 
 hampton (seeing the King had ouerpast the place where 
 he dwelt) came with his wife and seruants to Salisbury, 
 and against the K. going forth of that City, hee 
 caused a most pleasant arbour to be made vpon the toppe 
 of the hill leading to Salisburie, beset all with red 
 and white roses, in such sort, that not any part of the tim- 
 ber could be seene, within the which sat a maiden at- 
 tired like a Queen, attended on by a faire traine of
 
 51 THE PLEASANT HI3T0RIE 
 
 maidens, who at the Kings approach presented him 
 with a garland of sweet flowres, yeelding him such 
 honour as the Ladies of Rome were wont to doe to their 
 Princes after their victories : which the King tooke in 
 gracious part, and for his farewell from that Country, 
 they bore him company ouer part of the Plaine, with the 
 sound of diuers sweet instruments of musicke. All 
 which when his Grace vnderstood was done at the cost 
 of a Clothier, he said he was the most honoured by those 
 men, aboue all the meane subiects in his Land : and so 
 his Highness past on to Exeter, hauing giuen great 
 rewards to these maidens. 
 
 Tomas Doue and the residue of the Clothiers, against 
 his Graces coinming thither, had ordained diuers sump- 
 tuous shews j first, there was one that presented the 
 person of Augustus Cesar the Emperour, who com- 
 manded after the Romane iuuasion, that their City 
 should be called Augustus, after his owne name, which 
 before time was called Isca, and of later yeeres, Exeter. 
 
 There his Maiesty was royally feasted seuen dayes 
 together, at the onely cost of Clothiers, but the diuers 
 delightes and sundry pastimes which they made there 
 before the King, and his Nobles, is too long here to be 
 rehearsed, and therefore I will ouerpasse them to auoid 
 tediousnesse. 
 
 His Grace then coasting along the Country, at last 
 came to Glocester, an ancient City, which was builded 
 by Gloue, a Brittish King, who named it after his owne 
 name, Glocester. Here was his Maiesty entertained by
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 55 
 
 Gray the Clothier, who profest himselfe to be of that 
 ancient family of Grayes, whose first originall issued out 
 of that ancient and Honorable Castle and Towne of 
 Rithin. 
 
 Here was the King most bountifully feasted, hauing 
 in his company his brother Robert (although his pri- 
 soner the same time.) And his Grace being desirous to 
 see the Maidens card and spiuue, they were of purpose 
 set to their worke ; among whom was faire Margaret 
 with her white hand, whose excellent beauty hauing 
 pierc't the eyes of the amorous Duke, it made such an 
 impression in his heart, that afterward he could neuer 
 forget her : and so vehemently was his affection kindled, 
 that he could take no rest, till by writing he had be- 
 wrayed his minde : but of this we will speake more in 
 another place : and the King at his departure said, that 
 to gratifie them, hee would make his sonne Robert 
 their Earle, who was the first Earle that euer was in 
 Glocester. 
 
 Now when his Grace was come from thence, he went 
 to Worcester, where William Fitz-allen made prepara- 
 tion in all honourable sort to receiue him, which man 
 being borne of great parentage, was not to learne how 
 to entertaine his Maiestie, being descended of that famous 
 Family, whose patrimony lay about the Towne of 
 Oswestrie, which Towne his predecessors had inclosed 
 with stately walls of stone. 
 
 Although aduerse fortune had so grieuously frowned 
 on some of them, that their children were faine to be-
 
 ifj THE PLEASANT HISTOKIE 
 
 come Tradesmen, whose hands were to them in stead of 
 lands, notwithstanding God raised againe the fame of 
 this man, both by his great wealth, and also in his pos- 
 terity, whose eldest son Henry, the Kings god-son, be- 
 came afterward the Maior of London, who was the first 
 Maior that euer was in that City, who gouerned the 
 same £3 yeeres: and then his son Roger Fitz-allen was 
 the second Maior. 
 
 The princely pleasures that in Worcester were 
 shewn the King, were many and maruelous, and in no 
 place had his Maiesty receiued more delight then here : 
 for the which at his departure he did shew himselfe very 
 thankefull. Now when his Grace had thus taken view 
 of all his good townes Westward, and in that progresse 
 had visited these Clothiers, he returned to London, with 
 great ioy of his Commons. 
 
 How Hodgekins of Hallifax came to the Court, and 
 complained to the King, that his priuiledge was 
 nothing worth, because when they found any of- 
 fender, they could not get a hangman to execute 
 him : and how by a Fryer a gin was deuised to chop 
 off mens heads of it selfe. Chap. 8. 
 After that Hodgkins had got the priuiledge for the 
 towne of Halifax, to hang vp such theeues as stole their 
 cloth in the night, presently without any further iudge- 
 ment, all the Clothiers of the towne were exceeding 
 glad, and perswaded themselues, that now their goods 
 would be safe all night, without watching them at all,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 57 
 
 so that whereas before, the town maintained certaine 
 watchmen to keepe their doth by night, they were 
 hereupon dismissed as a thing needlesse to be done, 
 supposing- with themselues, that seeing they should be 
 straight hanged that were found faulty in this point, that 
 no man would be so desperate to enterprise any such 
 act. And indeed the matter being noysed through the 
 whole Country, that they were straight to be hanged 
 that vse such theeuery, it made many lewd liuers to re- 
 straine such theeuery. 
 
 Neuertheles, there was at that same time liuing, a 
 notable Theefe named Wallis, whom in the north they 
 called Mighty Wallis, in regard of his valour and man- 
 hood ; This man being most subtile in such kind of 
 knauery, hauing heard of this late priuiledge, and there- 
 withall of the Townes security, said that once he would 
 venture his necke for a packe of Northerne cloth ; and 
 therefore comming to one or two of his compauions, he 
 asked if they would be partners in his adventure, and if 
 (quoth he) you will herein hazard your bodies, you shall 
 be sharers in all our booties. 
 
 At length by many perswasions the men consented : 
 whereupon late in the night, they got them all into a 
 Farriours shop, and called vp the folkes of the house. 
 What the foule ill wald you haue (quoth they) at this 
 time of the night ? Wallis answered, saying, Good- 
 fellowes, we would haue you to remoue the shooes of 
 our horses feete, and set them on againe, and for your 
 paiues you shall bo well pleased. The Smith at length
 
 58 THE PLEASANT HISTORIC 
 
 was perswaded, and when he had pluckt off all the 
 shooes from their horses feete, they would needes haue 
 them all set on againe, quite contrary with the cakins 
 forward, that should stand backward. How? fay, fay 
 man, qd. the Smith, are ye like fules? what the deele 
 doe you meane to breake your crags ? gud faith I tro 
 the men be wood. Not so, Smith, qd. they, do thou as 
 we bid thee, and thou shalt haue thy mony; for it is an 
 old prouerbe, 
 
 Be it better, or be it worse, 
 „ Please you the man thafbeares the purse. 
 
 Gudd faith and see I sail, qd. the Smith, and so did as 
 hee was willed. When Wallis had thus caused their 
 horses to be shod, to Hallifax they went, where they 
 without any let, "laded their horses with cloth, and so 
 departed contrary way. 
 
 In the morning', so soone as the Clothiers came to 
 the field, they found that they were robd, whereupon 
 one ranne to another to tell these things. Now when 
 Hodgekins heard thereof, rising vp in haste, he wild his 
 neighbors to mark and to see, if they could not descry 
 either the foot-steppes of men or Horses. Which being 
 done, they perceiued that horses had beene there, and 
 seeking to pursue them by their foot-steppes, they went 
 a cleane contrary way, by reason that the horses were 
 shodde backward : and when in vaine they had long 
 pursued them, they returned, being neuer the neere. 
 Now Wallis vsed his feate so long, that at length he was
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 5Q 
 
 taken, and two more with him : whereupon according 
 to the priuilege of the Towne, they put Halters about 
 the theeues neckes presently to hang- them vp. 
 
 When they were come to the place appointed, 
 Wallis and the rest being out of hope to escape death, 
 prepared themselues patiently to suffer the rigor of the 
 Law. And therewith the rest laying open the lewd- 
 nesse of his life, grieuously lamenting for his sinnes, at 
 length commending their soules to God, they yeelded 
 their bodies to the graue, with which sight the people 
 were greatly mooued with pity, because they had neuer 
 seene men come to hanging before ; but when they 
 should haue beene tyed vp, Hodgekins willed one of his 
 neighbours to play the Hang-mans part, who would not 
 by any meanes doe it, although he was a very pcore 
 man, who for his paines should haue beene possest of all 
 their apparell. When he would not yeeld to the office, 
 one of those which had his cloth stolen, was commanded 
 to doe the deed ; but he in like manner would not, 
 saying: When I haue the skill to make a man, I will 
 hang a man, if it chance my workmanship doe not 
 like me. 
 
 And thus from one to another, the office of the 
 Hang-man was posted off. At last a Rogue came by, 
 whom they would haue compelled to haue done that 
 deed. Nay, my masters, qd. he, not so : but as you 
 haue got a priuiledge for the Towne, so you were best 
 to procure a Commission to make a hang-man, or else 
 you are like to be without one for me. Neighbor
 
 00 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 Hodgkins quoth one, I pray you doe this office your 
 selfe, you haue had mostlosse, and therefore you should 
 be the most ready to hang them your selfe. No, not I 
 (quoth Hodgkins,) though my losse were ten times 
 greater then it is, notwithstanding look which of these 
 Theeues will take vpon him to hang the other, shall 
 haue his life saued, otherwise they shall all to prison 
 till I can prouide a hangman. 
 
 When Wallis saw the matter brought to this passe, 
 he began stoutly to reply, saying, My masters of the 
 Towne of Halifax, though your priuiledge stretch to 
 hang men vp presently that are found stealing of your 
 goods, yet it giues you no warrant to imprison them 
 till you prouide them a hang-man, my selfe, with these 
 my fellowes, haue here yeelded our selues to satisfie the 
 Law, and if it be not performed, the fault is yours, and 
 not ours, and therefore we humbly take our leaue : from 
 the gallowes the xviii of August. And with that he 
 leapt from the ladder, and hurl'd the halter at Hodgkins 
 face. 
 
 When the Clothiers saw this, they knew not what to 
 say, but taking them by the sleeues, entreated to haue 
 their owne againe. Not so, qd. Wallis, you get not the 
 value of a packe or a bawby : wee haue stolne. your 
 cloth, then why doe you not hang vs ? here we haue 
 made our selues ready, and if you will not hang vs, 
 chuse. A plague vpon you, quoth he, you haue hindred 
 me God knowes what, I made account to dine this day 
 in heauen, and you keepe me here on earth where there
 
 OP THOMAS OF READING. 6l 
 
 is not a quarter of that good cheare. The foule euill 
 take you all, I was fully prouided to giue the gallowes a 
 boxe on the care, and now God knowes when I shall be 
 in so good a minde againe ; and so he with the rest of his 
 companions departed. 
 
 When Hodgekins saw, that notwithstanding their 
 theeuery, how they flowted at their lenity, he was much 
 mooued in minde ; and as he stood in his dumps 
 chewing his cud, making his dinner with a dish of 
 melancholy, a gray Fryar reuerently saluted him in this 
 sort : All haile, good-man Hodgekins, happinesse and 
 health be euer with you, and to all suppressors of lewd 
 liuers, God send euerlasting ioyes. 
 
 I am sorry good-man Hodgekins, that the great pri- 
 uiledge which our King gaue to this towne, comes to no 
 greater purpose ; better farre had it beene that it had 
 neuer beene granted, then so lightly regarded ; the 
 towne hath suffered through their owne peeuishnesse, 
 an euerlasting reproch this day, onely because foolish 
 pitty hath hindred Justice. 
 
 Consider, that compassion is not to be had vpon 
 theeues and robbers ; pity onely appertained! to the 
 vertuous sort, who are ouerwhclmed with the waues of 
 misery and mischance. What great cause of boldnesse 
 haue you giuen to bad liuers, by letting these fellowes 
 thus to escape, and how shall you now keepe your 
 goods in safety, seeing you fulfill not the Law which 
 should be your defence ? neuer thinke that theeues will 
 make any conscience to carry away your goods, when
 
 (32 THE PLEASANT HIST0RIE 
 
 they find them selues in no danger of death, who hauc 
 more cause to praise your pity, then commend your 
 wisedome : wherefore in time seeke to preuent the en- 
 suing euill. 
 
 For my owne part, I haue that care of your good, 
 that I would worke all good meanes for your be- 
 nefit, and yet not so much in respect of your profit, 
 as for the desire I haue to vphold Justice, and seeing I 
 find you and the rest so womanish, that you could not find 
 in your hearts to hang a Theefe, I haue deuised how to 
 make a gin, that shall cut off their heads without mans 
 helpe, and if the King will allow thereof. 
 
 When Hodgekins heard this, he was somewhat com- 
 forted in mind, and said to the Fryer, that if by his 
 cunning he would performe it, he would once againe 
 make sute to the King to haue his grant for the same. 
 The Fryer willed him to haue no doubt in him : and 
 so when he had deuised it, he got a Carpenter to frame 
 it out of hand. 
 
 Hodgekins in the meane time posted it vp to the 
 Court, and told his Maiesty that the priuiledge of Hal- 
 lifax was not worth a pudding. Why so, said the King ? 
 Because, quoth Hodgekins, we can get neuer a hangman 
 to trusse our theeues : but if it shall like your good 
 Grace, (quoth he) there is a feate Fryar, that will make 
 vs a deuise, which shall without the hand of man cut off 
 the cragges of all such carles, if your Maiesty will 
 please to allow thereof. 
 
 The King vnderstanding the full effect of the matter,
 
 OF THOMAS OF HEADING. 63 
 
 at length granted his petition : whereupon till this day, 
 it is obserued in Hallifax, that such as are taken 
 stealing of their cloth, haue their heads chopt off with 
 the same gin. 
 
 How the Bailiffes of London could get no man to bee a 
 Catchpole, and how certaine Flemings tooke that 
 office vpon them, whereof many of them were fledde 
 into this Realme, by reason of certaine waters that 
 had drowned a great part of their Country. Chap. 9. 
 
 The City of London being at that time gouerned by 
 Bailiffes, it came to passe, that in a certaine fray two of 
 their Catch-poles were killed, for at that time they had 
 not the name of Sergeants : and you shall understand, 
 that their office was then so much hated and detested of 
 Englishmen, that none of them would take it vpon him : 
 so that the Bailiffes were glad to get any man whatso- 
 euer, and to giue him certain wages to performe that 
 office. 
 
 It came to passe, as I said before, that two of their 
 Officers by arresting of a man, were at one instant slaine, 
 by meanes whereof the Bailiffes were enforced to seeke 
 others to put in their rooines ; but by no meanes could 
 they get any, wherefore according to their wonted man- 
 ner, they made proclamation, that if there were any man 
 that would present himselfe before them, he should not 
 onely be settled in that office during their Hues, but also 
 should haue such maintenance and allowance, as for such 
 men was by the City prouided : and notwithstanding
 
 64 
 
 THE PLEASANT IUST0R1E 
 
 that it was an office most necessary in the Common- 
 wealth, yet did the poorest wretch despise it, that liued 
 in any estimation among his neighbours. 
 
 At last, a couple of Flemings, which were fled into this 
 Land, by reason that their Country was drowned with 
 the sea, hearing the Proclamation, offered themselues 
 vnto the Bayliffes, to serue in this place, who were pre- 
 sently receiued and accepted and according to order had 
 garments giuen them, which were of 2. colors, blue and 
 red their coates, breeches and stockings, whereby they 
 Avere knowne and discerned from other men. 
 
 Within halfe a yeere after, it came to passe, that 
 Thomas Doue of Exeter came vp to London, who hauing 
 by his iollity and goodfellowship, brought himselfc 
 greatly behind hand, was in danger to diuers men of the 
 Cite, among the rest, one of his Creditors feed an Officer 
 to arrest him. The Dutch-man that had not beene long 
 experienced in such matters, and hearing how many of 
 his fellowes had beene killed for attempting to arrest 
 men, stood quiuering and quaking in a corner of the 
 street to watch for Thomas Doue, and hauing long 
 waited, at length he espied him : whereupon he prepared 
 his mace ready, and with a pale countenance proceeded 
 to his Office ; at what time comming behind the man, 
 suddenly with his mace he knockt him on the pate, say- 
 ing, I arrest you, giuing him such a blow, that he fell 
 him to the ground. 
 
 The Catchpole thinking he had killed the man, he 
 left his mace behind him and ranne away : the Creditor
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 65 
 
 lie ran after him, calling' and crying that he should turne 
 againe : But the Fleming would not by any meanes turne 
 backe, but got him quite out of the City, and tooke 
 Sanctuary at Westminster. 
 
 Doue being come to himselfe, arose and went to his 
 Inne, no man hindring his passage, being not a little 
 glad he so escaped the danger. Yet neuerthelesse,at his 
 next comming to London, another Catchpole met with 
 him, and arrested him in the Kings name. 
 
 Doue being dismayed at this mischieuous mischance, 
 knew not what to doe : at last hee requested the Catch- 
 pole that hee would not violently cast him in prison, but 
 stay till such time as he could send for a friend to be his 
 surety ; and although kindnesse in a Catchpole be rare, 
 yet was he won with faire words to doe him this fauour : 
 whereupon Doue desired one to goe to his Oast Iarrat, 
 who immediately came with him, and offered himselfe 
 to be Doues surety. 
 
 The Officer, who neuer saw this man before, was 
 .much amazed at his sight : for Iarrat was a great and 
 mighty man of body, of countenance grim, and exceed- 
 ing high of stature, so that the Catchpole was wonder- 
 fully afraid, asking if he could find neuer a surety but 
 the deuill, most fearfully intreating him to coniure him 
 away, and he would doe Doue any fauour. What, will 
 you not take my word, qd. Iarrat ? sir, qd. the Catchpole, 
 if it were for any matter in hell, I would take your word 
 as soone as any diuels in that place, but seeing it is for 
 -i matter on earth, I would gladly haue a surety. 
 
 F
 
 66 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 Why, thou whorson cricket, (quoth Iarrat,) thou 
 maggat-apie, thou spinner, thou paultry spider, dost 
 thou take me for a deuill ? Sirra, take my word, I 
 charge thee, for this man, or else goodraan butter-fly, 
 He make thee repent it. The Officer, while he was in 
 the house, said, he was cotent, but as soon as he came 
 into the street, he cryed, saying : Helpe, helpe, good 
 neighbors, or else the deuill will carry away my prisoner : 
 notwithstanding, there was not one man would stirre to 
 be the Catchpoles aide. Which when he saw, he tooke 
 fast hold on Thomas Doue, and would not by any 
 meanes let him goe. 
 
 Iarrat seeing this, made no more adoe, but comming 
 to the Officer, gaue him such a fillop on the forehead with 
 his finger, that he fell the poore Fleming to the ground : 
 and while he lay in the street stretching his heeles, Iarrat 
 tooke Doue vnder his arme and carried him home, where 
 he thought himselfe as safe, as King Charlemaine in 
 Mount-albion. 
 
 The next morning Iarrat conueyed Doue out of 
 Towne, who afterward kept him in the Country, and 
 came no more in the Catchpoles clawes. 
 
 How Duke Robert came a wooing to Margaret with the 
 white hand, and how he appointed to come and steale 
 her away from her Masters. Chap. 10. 
 The beautifull Margaret, who had now dwelt with her 
 Dame the space of foure yeeres, was highly regarded 
 and secretly beloued of many gallant and worthy Gen-
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 07 
 
 tlemen of the Country, but of two most especially, Duke 
 Robert, and Sir William Ferris. It chanced on a time, 
 that faire Margaret with many others of her Masters 
 folkes, went a hay-making, attired in a red stammell 
 peticoate, and a broad strawne hat vpon her head, she 
 had also a hay-forke, and in her lappe shee did carry her 
 breake-fast. As she went along, Duke Robert, with one 
 or two of his keepers, met with her, whose amiable sight 
 did now anew re-inkindle the secret fire of loue, which 
 long lay smothering in his heart. Wherefore meeting 
 her so happily, he saluted her thus friendly. 
 
 Faire maid, good morow, are you walking so dili- 
 gently to your labour? Needes must the weather be 
 faire, when the Sun shines so cleare, and the hay whole- 
 some that is dryed with such splendent rayes. Renowned 
 and most uotable Duke (cjd. she) poore haruest folkes 
 pray for faire weather, and it is the laborers comfort to 
 see his worke prosper, and the more happy may we count 
 the day, that is blessed with your princely presence : 
 but more happy, said the Duke, are they which are con- 
 uersant in thy company. But let me intreat thee to 
 turne backe to thy Masters with me, and commit thy 
 fcrke to some that are fitter for such toyle : trust me, 
 me thinkes thy dame is too much ill aduised, in setting 
 thee to such homely busines. I muse thou canst indure 
 this vile beseeming seruitude, whose delicate lims were 
 neuer framed to proue such painefull experiments. 
 
 Albeit, quoth she, it becommeth not me to controule 
 your iudiciall thoughts, yet were you not the Duke, I
 
 86 
 
 THE l'LEASAN'T HISTORIE 
 
 would say, your opinion deceiued you: though your 
 faire eyes seeme cleare, yet I deemed them vnperfect, if 
 they cast before your mind any shadow or sparke of 
 beauty in me: But I rather thinke, because it hath beene 
 an old saying-, that women are proud to heare themselues 
 praised, that you either speake this, to driue away the 
 time, or to wring me from my too apparent imperfec- 
 tions. But I humbly intreate pardon, too longe haue I 
 fore-slowed my businesse, and shewne myselfeouer-bold 
 in your presence; and therewith, with a courtly grace, 
 bending her knees to the courteous Duke, shee went 
 forward to the field, and the Duke to the Towne of 
 Glocester. 
 
 When he came thither, he made his Keeper great 
 cheare, in treating them they would giue him respit to be 
 awhile with old Gray; for we twaine must haue a game 
 or two, quoth he : and for my safe returne, I gage to 
 you my princely word, that as I am a true Knight and a 
 Gentleman, I will returne safe to your charge againe. 
 
 The Keepers being content, the Duke departed, and 
 with old Gray goes to the field, to peruse the Worke- 
 i'olkes, where while Gray found himselfe busie in many 
 matters, he tooke opportunity to talke with Margaret ; 
 shee who by his letters before was priuie to his purpose . 
 guest beforehand the cause of his comming: to whom 
 he spake to this effect : 
 
 Faire Maid, I did long since manifest my loue to 
 thee by my letter; tell me therefore, were it not better 
 tq be a Duches then drudge ! a Lady of high reputation,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. in) 
 
 then a seruant of simple degree ? with me thou mightest 
 liue ia pleasure, where here thcu drawest thy dayes forth 
 in paine"; by my loue thou shouldst be made a Lady of 
 great treasures : where now thou art poore and 
 beggerly; all manner of delights should then attend 
 on thee, and whatsoeuer thy heart desireth, thou 
 shouldst haue : wherefore seeing it lyes in thy owne 
 choice, make thy selfe happy, by consenting to my 
 suite. 
 
 Sir, (quoth she) I confesse your loue deserues a Ladies 
 fauour, your affection a faithful friend, such a one as 
 could make but one heart and mind of two hearts and 
 bodyes ; but farre vnfit it is that the Turtle should 
 match with the Eagle, though her loue be neuer so pure, 
 her wings are vnfit to mount so high. While Thales 
 gazed on the starres, he stumbled in a pit. And they 
 that clime vnaduisedly, catch a fall suddenly: what 
 auaileth high dignity in time of aduersity? it neither 
 helpeth the sorrow of the heart, nor remoues the bodies 
 misery : as for wealth and treasure, what are they, but 
 fortunes baits to bring men in danger ? good for nothing 
 but to make people forget themselues: and whereas you 
 alleadge pouerty to be a hinderer of the hearts comfort, 
 I find it my selfe contrary, knowing more surety to rest 
 vnder a simple habit, then a royall Robe : and verily 
 there is none in the world poore, but they that think 
 themselues poore: for such as are indued with content, 
 are rich, hauing nothing else, but he that is possessed 
 with riches, without content, is most wretched and mise-
 
 70 THE PLEASANT HISTORJE 
 
 rable. Wherefore most Noble Duke, albeit I account 
 my life vnworthy of your least fauour, yet I would 
 desire you to match your loue to your like, and let me 
 rest to my rake, and vse my forke for my liuing. 
 
 Consider, faire Margaret, (quoth he) that it lyes not 
 in mans power to place his loue where he list, being the 
 worke of an high deity. A bird was neuer seene in 
 Pontus, nor true loue in a fleeting mind : neuer shall 
 remoue the affection of my heart which in nature re- 
 sembleth the stone Abiston, whose fire can neuer be 
 cooled: wherefore sweet Maiden giue not obstinate 
 deniall, where gentle acceptance ought to be receiued. 
 
 Faire sir, (quoth she) consider what high displeasure 
 may rise by a rash match, what danger a Kings frownes 
 may breed, my worlhlesse matching with your Royalty, 
 may perhaps regaine your liberty, and hazard my life ; 
 then call to mind how little you should enioy your loue, 
 or I my wedded Lord. 
 
 The Duke at these words made this reply, that if she 
 consented, she should not dread any danger. The 
 thunder (quoth he) is driuen away by ringing of belles, 
 the Lions wrath qualified by a yeeldingbody: how much 
 more a Brothers anger with a Brothers intreaty ? By me 
 he hath receiued many fauors, and neuer yet did he 
 requite any one of them : and who is ignorant that the 
 Princely Crown which adorneth his head, is my right ? 
 all which I am content he shall still enioy, so he requite 
 my kindnesse. But if he should not, then would I be 
 like those men (that eating of the tree Lutes) forget
 
 OF THOMAS OF BEADING. 71 
 
 the Country where they were borne, and neuer more 
 should this clime couer my head, but with thee would I 
 Hue in a strange Land, being better content with an 
 egge in thy company, then with all the delicates in 
 England. 
 
 The Maiden hearing this, who with many other 
 words was long wooed, at last consented ; where yeelding 
 to him her heart with her hand, hee departed, appointing 
 to certifie her from Cardiffe Castle, what determination 
 he would follow : so taking his leaue of Gray he went to 
 his brotbers, and with them posted to Cardiffe. 
 
 Now it is to be remembred, that sir William Ferrers 
 within a day or two after came vnto Grayes house, as it 
 was his ordinary custome, but not so much ywis for 
 Grayes company, as for the minde he had to Margaret 
 his Maide, who although he were a married man, and 
 had a faire Lady to his wife, yet he laid hard siege to the 
 fort of this Maidens chastity, hauing with many faire 
 words sought to allure her, and by the offer of sundry 
 rich gifts to tempt her. But whe she Saw, that by a 
 hundred denials she could not be rid of him, she now 
 chanced on a sudden to giue him such an answer, as 
 droue him from a deceit into such a conceit, as neuer 
 after that time he troubled her. 
 
 Sir William Ferrers being very importunate to haue 
 her grant his desire, and when after sundry assaults she 
 gaue him still the repulse, hee would needes know the 
 reason why shee would not loue him, quoth he, If thou 
 didst but consider who he is that seeketh thy fauour, 

 
 72 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 what pleasure he may doe thee by his purse, and what 
 credit by his countenance, thou wouldst neuer stand on 
 such nice points. If I be thy friend, who dareth be thy 
 foe ? and what is he that will once call thy name in 
 question for any thing? therefore sweet girle, be better 
 aduised, and refuse not my offer being so large. 
 
 Truly sir William (quoth she) though there be many 
 reasons to make me deny your suite, yet is there one 
 aboue the rest that causes me I cannot loue you. Now, 
 I pray thee, my wench let me know that, quoth he, and 
 I will amend it whatsoeuer it be. Pardon me sir, said 
 Margaret, if I should speake my mind, it would possibly 
 offend you, and doe me no pleasure because it is a defect 
 in nature, which no phisicke can cure. Sir William 
 hearing on her so, being abashed at her speech, said, 
 Faire Margaret, let me (if I may obtaine no more at thy 
 hands) yet intreat thee to know what this defect should 
 be ; I am not wry-neck t, crook-legd, stub-footed, lame- 
 handed, nor bleare-eyed : what can make this mislike ? 
 I neuer knew any body that tooke exceptions at my per- 
 son before. 
 
 And the more sorry am I, quoth she, that I was so 
 malapert to speake it, but pardon me my presumption, 
 good sir William, I would I had beene like the Storke 
 tonguelesse, then should I neuer haue caused your dis- 
 quiet. Nay sweet Margaret, quoth he, tell me deare 
 loue, I commend thy singlenesse of heart, good Margaret 
 speake. Good sir William let it rest, quoth shee, I 
 know you will not beleeue it when I haue reuealed it,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 73 
 
 neither is it a thing that you can helpe : and yet such is 
 my foolishnesse, had it not beene for that, I thinke verily 
 1 had granted your suite ere now. But seeing you vrge 
 me so much to know what it is, I will tell you: it is sir, 
 your ill-fauoured great nose, that hangs sagging so 
 lothsomely to your lips, that I cannot finde in my heart 
 so much as to kisse you. 
 
 What, my nose, quoth he ? is my nose so great and 
 I ueuerknew it? certainely 1 thought my nose to be as 
 comely as any mans : but this it is we are all apt to 
 think well of our selues, and a great deale better then 
 wc ought : but let me see ? my nose ! by the masse tis 
 true, I doe now feele it my selfe: Good Lord, how was I 
 blinded before? Hereupon it is certaine, that the Knight 
 was driuen into such a conceit, as none could perswade 
 him but his nose was so great indeed; his Lady, or anv 
 other that spake to the contrarie, he would say they were 
 flatterers, and that they lied, insomuch that he would be 
 ready to strike some of them that commended and spake 
 well of his nose, if they were men of worship, or any 
 other that contraried him in his opinion, he would 
 sweare they flowted him, and be ready to challenge them 
 the field. He became so ashamed of himselfe, that after 
 that day he would neuer goe abroad, whereby Margaret 
 was well rid of his company. 
 
 On a time, a wise and graue Gentleman seeing him 
 grounded in his conceit so strongly, gaue his Lady 
 counsell, not to contrary him therein, but rather say 
 f hat she would seeke out some cunning Physician to cure
 
 74 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 him : for, said he, as sir William hath taken this conceit 
 of himselfe, so is he like neuer to heare other opinion, 
 till his owne conceit doth remoue it, the which must be 
 wisely wrought to bring it to passe. 
 
 Whereupon the Lady hauing conferred with a Physi- 
 cian that beare a great name in the countrey, hee vnder- 
 tooke to remoue this fond conceit by his skill. The day 
 being appointed when the Phisician should come, and 
 the Knight beeing told thereof, for very ioy he would 
 goe forth to meete him, when a Avoman of the Towne saw 
 the Knight, hauing heard what rumor went because of his 
 nose, shee looked very stedfastly vpon him : the Knight 
 casting his eye vpon her, seeing her to gaze so wistly in 
 his face, with an angry countenance said thus to her, 
 Why, how now good huswife, cannot you get you about 
 your business ? The woman being a shrewish queane, 
 answered him cuttedly, No mary can I not, qd. she. No, 
 you drab, What is the cause, said the Knight ? Because, 
 quoth she, your nose stands in my way : wherewith the 
 Knight being very angry, and abashed, went backe 
 againe to his house. 
 
 The Physician being come, he had filled a certaine 
 bladder with sheepes blood, and conueyed it into his 
 sleeue, where at the issue of the bladder he had put in 
 a piece of a swans quill, through the which the blood 
 should runne out of the bladder so close by his hand, 
 that hee holding the Knight by the nose, it might not be 
 perceiued, but that it issued thence. All things being 
 prepared, he told the Knight, that by a foule corrupt
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 75 
 
 blood wherewith the veines of his nose were ouer- 
 charged, his impediment did grow, therefore, quoth he, 
 to haue redresse for this disease, you must haue a veine 
 opened in your nose, whence this foule corruption must 
 be taken : whereupon it will follow, that your nose will 
 fall againe to his naturall proportion, and neuer shall 
 you be troubled with this griefe any more, and there- 
 upon will I gage my life. 
 
 I pray you master Doctor, said the Knight, is my 
 nose so big as you make it ? With reuerence I may 
 speake it, said the Physician, to tell the truth, and auoid 
 flattery, I neuer saw a more misshapen nose so foule to 
 sight. Lo you now Madam, quoth the Knight, this is 
 you that said my nose was as well, as hansome, and as 
 comely a nose as any mans. 
 
 Alas sir, qd. she, I spake it (God wot) because you 
 should not grieue at it, nor take my words in ill part, 
 neither did it indeed become me to mislike of your nose. 
 
 All this we will quickly remedy, said the Physician, 
 haue no doubt : and with that, he very orderly prickt 
 him in the nose, but not in a veine whereby he might 
 bleed : and presently hauing a tricke finely to vnstop the 
 quill, the blood ranne into a bason in great abundance : 
 and when the bladder was empty, and the bason almost 
 full, the Physician seemed to close the veine, and asked 
 him how he felt his nose, shewing the great quantite of 
 filthy blood which from thence he had taken. 
 
 The Knight beholding it with great wonder, said, he 
 thought that no man in the world had beene troubled
 
 7fi THK PLEASANT H1STURIE 
 
 with such abundance of corrupt blood in his whole body, 
 as lay in bis mis-shapen nose, and therewithall he 
 began to touch and handle his nose, saying, that he felt 
 it mightily asswaged. Immediately a glasse was brought 
 wherein he might behold himselfe. Yea mary, qd. he 
 now I praise God, I see my nose is come into some 
 reasonable proportion, and I feele my selfe very well 
 eased of the burthen thereof; but if it continue thus, 
 thats all. I will warrant your worship, said the Physi- 
 cian, for euer being troubled with the like againe. 
 Whereupon the Knight receiued great ioy, and the 
 Doctor a high reward. 
 
 How Thomas of Reading was murdered at his Oasts 
 house of Colebrooke, who also had murdred many 
 before him, and how their wickednesse was at length 
 reuealed. Chap. 11. 
 
 Thomas of Reading hauing many occasions to come to 
 London, as well about his own affaires, as also the 
 Kings businesse, being in a great office vnder his Ma- 
 iestie, it chanced ou a time, that his Oast and Oastesse 
 of Colebrooke, who through couetousnesse had mur- 
 dered many of the guests, and hauing every time he 
 came thither great store of his money to lay vp, ap- 
 pointed him to be the next fat pig that should be 
 killed: For it is to be vnderstood, that when they 
 plotted the murder of any man, this was alwaies their 
 terme, the man to his wife, and the woman to her hus-
 
 OK THOMAS OF READING. 77 
 
 band : wife, there is now a fat pig to be had if you want 
 one. Whereupon she would answer thus, I pray you 
 put him in the hogstie till to morrow. This was, when 
 any man came thither alone without others in his com- 
 pany, and they saw he had great store of money. 
 
 This man should be then laid in the chamber right 
 oner the kitchen, which was a faire chamber, and the 
 better set out then any other in the house ; the best 
 bedstead therein, though it were little and low, yet was 
 it most cunningly earned, and faire to the eye, the feet 
 whereof were fast naild to the chamber floore, in such 
 sort, that it could not in any wise fall, the bed that lay 
 therein was fast sowed to the sides of the bedstead : 
 Moreouer, that part of the chamber whereupon this bed 
 and bedstead stood, was made in such sort, that by the 
 pulling out of two yron pinnes below in the kitchen, it 
 was to be let downe and taken vp by a draw-bridge, or 
 in manner of a trap-doore : moreouer in the kitehin, 
 directly vnder the place where this should fall : was a 
 mighty great caldron, wherein they vsed to seethe their 
 liquor when they went to brewing. Now, the men ap- 
 pointed for the slaughter, were laid into this bed, and in 
 the dead time of the night when they were sound 
 asleepe, by plucking out the foresaid yron pinnes, 
 downe will the man fall out of his bed into the boyling 
 caldron, and all the cloaths that were vpon him : where 
 being suddenly scalded and drowned, he was neuer able 
 to cry or speake one word. 
 
 Then had they a little ladder euer standing ready in
 
 78 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 the kitchin, by the which they presently mounted into 
 the said chamber, and there closely take away the mans 
 apparell, as also his money, in his male or cap-case : 
 and then lifting vp the said falling floore which hung 
 by hinges, they made it fast as before. 
 
 The dead body would they take presently out of the 
 caldron and throw it downe the riuer, which ran neere 
 vnto their house, whereby they escaped all danger. 
 
 Now if in the morning any of the rest of the guests 
 that had talkt with the murdered man ore eue, ehanst 
 to aske for him, as hauing occasion to ride the same 
 way that he should haue done, the good-man would 
 answere, that he tooke horse a good while before day, 
 and that he himselfe did set him forward ; the horse the 
 good-man would also take out of the stable, and conuay 
 him by a hay-barne of his, that stood from his house a 
 mile or two, whereof himselfe did alvvaies keepe the 
 keies full charily, and when any hay was to be brought 
 from thence, with his owne hands he would deliuer it : 
 then before the horse should goe from thence, he would 
 dismarke him : as if he ware a long taile, he would 
 make him curtail ; or else crop his eares, or cut his 
 mane, or put out one of his eies ; and by this meanes 
 bee kept himselfe vnknowne. 
 
 Now Thomas of Reading, as I said before, being 
 markt and kept for a fat pig, he was laid in the same 
 chamber of death, but by reason Gray of Glocester 
 chanced also to come that night, he escaped scalding. 
 
 The next time he came, he was laid there againe,
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 79 
 
 but before he fell asleepe, or was warme in his bed, one 
 came riding thorow the Towne and cryed piteously, that 
 London was all on a fire, and that it had burned downe 
 Thomas Beckets house in West-cheape, and a great 
 number more in the same street, and yet (quoth he) the 
 fire is not quencht. 
 
 Which tidings when Thomas of Reading heard, he 
 was very sorrowfull, for of the same Becket that day he 
 had receiued a great peece of money, and had left in his 
 house many of his writings, and some that appertained 
 to the King also : therefore there was no nay but he 
 would ride backe againe to London presently, to see 
 how the matter stood ; thereupon making himselfe 
 ready, departed. This crosse fortune caused his Oast 
 to frowne, neuertheless the next time (qd. he) will pay 
 for all. 
 
 Notwithstanding God so wrought, that they were 
 preuented the likewise, by reason of a great fray that 
 hapned in the house betwixt a couple that fell out at 
 dice, insomuch as the murderers themselues were in- 
 forced to call him vp being a man in great authority, 
 that he might set the house in quietnesse, out of the 
 which by meanes of this quarrell, they doubted to lose 
 many things. 
 
 Another time when hee should haue beene laid in 
 the same place, he fell so sicke, that he requested to 
 haue some body to watch with him, whereby also they 
 could not bring their vile purpose to passe. But hard it 
 is to escape the ill fortunes whereunto a man is allotted :
 
 f>0 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 for albeit that the next time that he came to London, 
 his horse stumbled and broke one of his legs as he 
 should ride homeward, yet hired he another to hasten 
 his owne death ; for there is no remedy but he should 
 goe to Colebrooke that night : but by the way he was 
 heauy asleepe, that he could scant keepe himselfe in the 
 saddle ; and when he came neere vnto the Towne, his 
 nose burst out suddenly a bleeding. 
 
 Well, to his I nne he came, and so heauy was his 
 heart that lie could eate no meat : his Oast and Oastesse 
 hearing he was so melancholy, came vp to cheare him, 
 saying, Jesus Master Cole, what ayles you to night ? 
 neuer did we see you thus sad before : will it please you 
 to haue a quart of burnt sacke ? With a good will 
 (quoth he) and would to God Tom Doue were here, he 
 would surely make me merry, and we should lacke no 
 musicke : but I am sorry for the man with all my heart, 
 that he is come so farre behind hand : but alas, so much 
 can euery man say, but what good doth it him ? No, no, 
 it is not words can helpe a man in this case, the man 
 had need of other reliefe then so. Let me see : I haue 
 but one child in the world, and that is my daughter, and 
 halfe that I haue is hers, the other halfe my wifes. 
 What then? shall 1 be good to no body but them ? In 
 consciem e, my wealth is too much for a couple to pos- 
 sesse, and what is our Religion without charity ? And 
 to whom is charity more to be shewne, then to decaid 
 house-holders ? 
 
 Good my Oast lend me a pen and inke, and some
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 81 
 
 paper, for I will write a letter vnto the poore man 
 straight; and something I will giue him: That almes 
 which a man bestowes with his owne hands, he shall be 
 sure to haue deliuered, and God knowes how long I 
 shall Hue. 
 
 With that, his Oastesse dissemblingly answered, 
 saying, Doubt not, Master Cole, you are like enough 
 by the course of nature to liue many yeeres. God 
 knowes (quoth he) I neuer found my heart so heauy 
 before. By this time pen, inke, and paper was brought, 
 setting himselfe in writing as followeth. 
 
 In the name of God, Amen. I bequeath my soule to 
 God, and my body to the ground, my goods equally 
 betweene my wife Elenor, and Isabel my daughter. 
 Item I giue to Thomas Doue of Exeter one hundred 
 pounds, nay that is too little, I giue to Thomas 
 Doue two hundred pounds in money, to be paid 
 vnto him presently vpon his demand thereof by my 
 said wife and daughter. 
 
 Ha, how say you Oast (qd. he) is not this well ? I pray 
 you reade it. His Oast looking thereon, said, why 
 Master Cole, what haue you written here ? you said you 
 would write a letter, but me thinks you haue made a 
 Will, what neede haue you to doe thus ? thanks be to 
 God, you may liue many faire yeeres. Tis true (quoth 
 Cole) if it please God, and I trust this writing cannot 
 shorten my daies, but let me see, haue I made a Will ? 
 Now, I promise you, I did verily purpose to write a 
 
 G
 
 82 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 letter : notwithstanding, I have written that that God 
 put iuto my mind : but looke onee againe my Oast, is it 
 not written there, that Doue shall haue two hundred 
 pounds, to be paid when he comes to demand it ? yes 
 indeed said his Oaste. Well then, all is well, said Cole, 
 and it shall goe as it is for me. I will not bestow the 
 new writing thereof any more. 
 
 Then folding it vp, he sealed it, desiring that his 
 Oast would send it to Exeter : he promised that he 
 would, notwithstanding Cole was not satisfied : but 
 after some pause, he woulds needs hire one to carry it. 
 And so sitting downe sadly in his chaire againe, vpon a 
 sudden he burst forth a weeping ; they demanding the 
 cause thereof, he spake as followeth : 
 
 No cause of these feares I know : but it comes now 
 into my minde (said Cole) when I set toward this my 
 last iourney to London, how my daughter tooke on, 
 what a coyle she kept to haue me stay, and I could not 
 be rid of the little baggage a long time, she did so hang 
 about me, when her mother by violence tooke her away, 
 she cryed out most mainly, O my father, my father, 1 
 shall neuer see him againe. 
 
 Alas, pretty soule, said his Oa3tesse, this was but 
 meere kindnesse in the girle, and it seemeth she is very 
 fond of you. But alas, why should you grieue at this ? 
 you must cousider that it was but childishnesse. I, it 
 is indeed, said Cole, and with that he began to nod. 
 Then they asked him if he would goe to bed. No, said 
 he, although I am heauy, I haue no mind to goe to bed
 
 OF THOMAS OF HEADING. 83 
 
 at all. With that certaine musicians of the towne came 
 to the chamber, and knowing Master Cole was there, 
 drue out their instruments, and very solemnly began to 
 play. 
 
 This musicke comes very well (said Cole) and when 
 he had listned a while thereunto, he said, Me thinks 
 these instrumets sound like the ring of St. Mary Oueries 
 bells, but the Base drowns all the rest : and in my eare 
 it goes like a bell that rings a forenoones knell, for 
 Gods sake let them leaue off, and beare them this simple 
 reward. The Musicians being gone, his Oast asked if 
 now it would please him to goe to bed ; for (quoth he) 
 it is welneere eleuen of the clocke. 
 
 With that Cole beholding his Oast and Oastesse 
 earnestly, began to start backe, saying, what aile you 
 to looke so like pale death ? good Lord, what haue you 
 done, that your hands are thus bloody 1 What my hands, 
 said his Oast ? W T hy, you may see they are neither 
 bloody nor foule : either your eyes doe greatly dazell, 
 or else fancies of a troubled minde doe delude you. 
 
 Alas, my Oast, you may see, said bee, how weake my 
 wits are, I neuer had my head so idle before. Come, 
 let me drinke once more, and then I will to bed, and 
 trouble you no longer. With that hee made himselfe 
 vnready, and his Oastesse was very diligent to warme a 
 kerchiffe, and put it about his head. Good Lord, said 
 he, I am not sicke, I praise God, but such an alteration 
 I finde in my selfe as I neuer did before. 
 
 With that the scritch-owle cried pitiously, and anon
 
 84 THE PLEASANT HIST0R1E 
 
 after the night-rauen sate croaking; hard by his window. 
 Iesu haue mercy vpon me, quoth hee, what an ill— 
 fauoured cry doe yonder carrion birds make, and there- 
 withall he laid him downe in his bed, from whence he 
 neuer rose agaiuei 
 
 His Oast and Oastesse, that all this while noted his 
 troubled mind, began to commune betwixt themselues 
 thereof. And the man said, he knew not what were 
 best to be done. By my consent (quoth he) the matter 
 should passe, for I thinke it is not best to meddle on 
 him. What man (quoth she) faint you now? haue you 
 done so many and do you shrinke at this ? Then shew- 
 ing- him a great deale of gold which Cole had left with 
 her, she said, Would it not grieue a bodies heart to lose 
 this ? hang the old churle, what should he doe liuing 
 any longer ? he hath too much, and we haue too little : 
 tut husband, let the thing be done, and then this is our 
 owne. 
 
 Her wicked counsell was followed, and when they 
 had listned at his chamber doore, they heard the man 
 sound asleepe : All is safe, quoth they, and downe into 
 the kitchin they goe, their seruants being all in bed, and 
 pulling out the yron pins, downe fell the bed, and the 
 man dropt out into the boyling caldron. He being dead, 
 they betwixt them cast his body into the riuer, his 
 clothes they made away, and made all things as it 
 should be : but when hee came to the stable to conuey 
 thence Coles horse, the stable doore being open, the 
 horse had got loose, and with a parr of the halter about
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 86 
 
 his necke, and straw trussed vnder his belly, as the 
 Ostlers had dressed him ore eue, he was gone out at the 
 back-side, which led into a great field ioyning to the 
 house, and so leaping diuers hedges, being a lustie 
 stout horse, had got into a ground where a mare was 
 grasing, with whom he kept such a coile, that they got 
 into the high-way, where one of the Towne meeting 
 them, knew the mare, and brought her and the horse 
 to the man that owd her. 
 
 In the meane space, the Musicians had beene at the 
 Inne, and in requitall of their euenings gift, they in- 
 tended to giue Cole some musicke in the morning. 
 The good-man told them he tooke horse before day : 
 likewise there was a guest in the house that would 
 haue bore him company to Reading, vnto whom the 
 Oast also answered, that he himselfe set him vpon 
 horsebacke, and that he went long agoe. Anon came 
 the man that owed the mare, inquiring vp and downe, 
 to know and if none of them missed a horse, who said 
 no. At the last hee came to the signe of the Crane 
 where Cole lay : and calling the Oastlers, he demanded 
 of them if they lackt none, they said no: Why then said 
 the man, I perceiue my mare is good for something, for 
 if I send her to field single, she will come home double : 
 thus it passed on all that day and the night following. 
 But the next day after, Coles wife musing that her hus- 
 band ca:ne not home, sent one of her men on horse- 
 backe, to see if he could meete him : and if (quoth she) 
 you meet him not betwixt this and Colebrooke, aske 
 for him at the Crane, but if you find him not there, then
 
 86 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 ride to Loudon ; for I doubt he is either sicke or else 
 some mischance hath fallen vnto him. 
 
 The fellow did so, and asking for him at Colebrooke, 
 they answered, hee went homeward from thence such a 
 day. The seruant musing what should be become of 
 his Master, and making much inquiry in the Towne for 
 him : at length one told him of a horse that was found 
 on the high-way, and no man knew whence he came. 
 He going to see the horse, knew him presently, and to 
 the Crane he goes with him. The Oast of the house 
 perceiuing this, was blanke, and that night fled secretly 
 away. The fellow going vnto the Justice desired his 
 helpe : presently after word was brought that larman 
 of the Crane was gone, then all the men said, he had 
 sure made Cole away : and the Musicians told what 
 larman said to them, when they would haue giuen Cole 
 musicke. Then the woman being apprehended and ex- 
 amined, confessed the truth. larman soone after was 
 taken in Windsor Forest, he and his wife were both 
 hangd, after they had laid open al these things before 
 expressed. Also he confessed, that he being a Car- 
 penter made that false falling floore, and how his wife 
 deuised it. And how they had murdered by that 
 means Ix. persons. And yet notwithstanding all the 
 money which they had gotten thereby, they pros- 
 pered not, but at their death were found very farre in 
 debt. 
 
 When the King heard of this murder, he was for the 
 space of vii dayes so sorrowfull and heauie, as he would 
 not heare any suite, giuing also commandement, that
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 87 
 
 the house should quite be consumed with fire, wherein 
 Cole was murdered, and that no man should euer build 
 vpon that cursed ground. 
 
 Coles substance at his death was exceeding great, 
 hee had daily in his house an hundred men seruants and 
 xl. maides ; hee maintained beside aboue two or three 
 hundred people, spinners and carders, and a great many 
 other house-holders. His wife neuer after married, and 
 at her death shee bestowed a mightie summe of money 
 toward the maintaining of the new builded Monastery. 
 Her daughter was most richly married to a Gentleman 
 of great worship, by whom she had many children. 
 And some say, that the riuer whereinto Cole was cast, 
 did euer since carrie the name of Cole being called 
 The riuer of Cole, and the Towne of Colebrooke. 
 
 How diuers of the Clothiers wiues went to the Church- 
 ing of Suttons wife of Salisbury, and of their merri- 
 ment. Ch. 12. 
 
 Svttons wife of Salisbury Avhich had lately bin deliuered 
 of a sonne, against her going to Church, prepared great 
 cheare : at what time Simons wife of Southampton came 
 thither, and so did diuers others of the Clothiers wiues, 
 onely to make merry at this Churching feast: and 
 whilest these Dames sate at the Table, Crab, Weasell, 
 and Wren, waited on the boord, and as the old Prouerbe 
 speaketh, Many women many words, so fell it out at 
 that time : for there was such prattling that it passed : 
 some talkt of their husbands frowardnes, some shewed
 
 88 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 their maids sluttishnes, othersome deciphered the coat- 
 lines of their garments, some told many tales of their 
 neighbours : and to be briefe, there was none of them 
 but would haue talke for a whole day. 
 
 But when Crab, Weasell, and Wren saw this, they 
 concluded betwixt theinselues, that as oft as any of the 
 women had a good bit of meate on their trenchers, they 
 offering a cleane one, should catch that commodity, and 
 so they did : but the women being busie in talke, marked 
 it not, till at the last one found leisure to misse her 
 meat : whereupon she said, that their boldness exceeded 
 their diligence. Not so, forsooth, said Weasell, there 
 is an hundred bolder then we. Name me one, said the 
 woman if you can. A flea is bolder, quoth Crabbe. 
 How will you proue that, said the woman? Because, 
 quoth he, they will creepe vnder your coates, where we 
 dare not come, and now and then bite you by the 
 buttocks as if they were brawne. But what becomes of 
 them, qd. the woman ? their sweet meat hath sowre 
 sauce, and their lustines doth often cost them their Hues, 
 therefore take heed. A good warning of a faire woman, 
 said Wren, but I had not thought so fine a wit in a fat 
 belly. 
 
 The women seeing their men so merry, said it was a 
 signe there was good ale in the house Thats as fit for 
 a Churching quoth Weasell, as a cudgell for a curst 
 queane. Thus with pleasant communication and merry 
 quips they droue out the time, till the fruit and spice- 
 cakes were set on the boord : At what time one of them
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 89 
 
 began to aske the other, if they heard not of the cruell 
 murder of Thomas of Reading ? What, said the rest, is 
 old Cole murdered ? when, I pray you was the deed 
 done » The other answered, on Friday last, O good Lord, 
 said the women, how was it done, can you tell ? 
 
 As report goes, said the other, he was rosted aliue. 
 
 pitifull ! was hee roasted 1 Indeed I heard one say, a 
 man was murdred at London, and that he was sodden 
 at an Inholders house, and serued it to the guests in 
 stead of porke. 
 
 No neighbour, it was not at London, said another ; 
 
 1 heare say twas coming from London, at a place called 
 Colebrook, and it is reported for truth, that the Inholder 
 made pies of him, and penny pasties, yea, and made his 
 owne seruant eate a piece of him. But I pray you good 
 neighbour, can you tell how it was knowne : some say, 
 that a horse reuealed it. 
 
 Now by the masse (quoth Grayes wife) it was told 
 one of my neighbours, that a certaine horse did speake, 
 and told great things. That sounds like a lie, said one 
 of them. Why, said another, may not a horse speake, 
 as well as Balaam asse ? It may be, but it is vnlikely> 
 said the third. But where was the horse when he 
 spake? As some say, qd. she, he was in the field, and 
 had broke out of the stable, where he stood fast locked 
 in mighty strong yron fetters, which hee burst in peeces 
 as they had beene straws, and broke downe the stable 
 doore, and so got away. The good-man comming in at 
 these speeches, asked what that was they talkt of.
 
 90 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 Marry, said his wife wee heare that Cole of Reading is 
 murdred : I pray you is it true ? I, said Sutton, it is 
 true, that vile villaine his Oast murdered him, in whose 
 house the man had spent many a pound. But did they 
 make pies of him, said his wife ; No, no, quoth her 
 husband : he was scalded to death in a boyling caldron, 
 and afterward throwne into a running riuer that is hard 
 by. But good husband, how was it knowne? By his 
 horse, quoth hee. What, did hee tell his master was 
 murdered ? could the horse speake English ? Jesus what 
 a foolish woman are you, quoth he, to aske such a ques- 
 tion ? But to end this, you are all heartily welcome, 
 good neighbours, and I am sorry you had no better 
 cheere. So with thanks the women departed. Thus 
 haue yee heard the diuers tales that will be spred abroad 
 of an euil deed. 
 
 How Duke Robert deceiued his keepers, and got from 
 them : how he met faire Margaret, and in carrying 
 her away, was taken for the which he had his eyes 
 put out. Chap. 13. 
 
 Duke Robert, hauing, as you heard, obtained the loue 
 of faire Margaret, did now cast in his mind, how hee 
 might delude his Keepers, and carry her quite away. In 
 the end he being absolutely resolued what to doe, sent 
 this letter vnto her, wherein he requested, that she 
 would be readie to meet him in the Forrest, betwixt 
 Cardiffe and Glocester. 
 
 The young Lady hauing secretly receiued his mes-
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 91 
 
 sage, vnknowne to her master or dame, in a morning 
 betime made her ready and got forth, walking to the 
 appointed place, where her Loue should meet her. 
 
 During her aboade there, and thinking long ere her 
 Loue came, she entred into diuers passions, which in- 
 deed presaged some disaster fortune to follow. O my 
 deare Loue, said shee, how slacke art thou in perform- 
 ing thy promise ! why doe not thy deeds agree with thy 
 indicting? see these are thy words, Come, my deare 
 Margaret, and with Cupids swift wings flie to thy friend, 
 be now as nimble in thy footing, as the Camels of Bac- 
 tria, that runne an hundred miles a day, I will waite 
 and stay for thee, so I stay not too long. There is no 
 Country like Austria for ambling horses, and to carry 
 thee I haue got one. 
 
 O my Loue (quoth she) here am I, but where art 
 thou? O why doest thou play the trewant with time, 
 who like the wind slides away vnseene ? An ambling 
 gennet of ^paine is too slow to serue our tumes. A 
 flying horse, for flying Louers were most meete. And 
 thus casting many lookes thorow the Siluane shades, vp 
 and downe to espie him, she thought euery minute an 
 houre, till she might see him, sometimes she would wish 
 her self a bird, thar she might flie through the ayre to 
 meet him, or a pretty squirill to clime the highest tree 
 to descry his coming: but finding her wishes vaine, she 
 began thus to excuse him and perswaded her selfe, 
 saying : 
 
 How much to blame am I, to finde fault with my 
 
 3
 
 92 THE PLEASANT HISTOUIE 
 
 friend ? Alas, men that lacke their liberty, must come 
 when they can, not when they would, poore prisoners 
 cannot doe what they desire, and then why should I be 
 so hastie 1 Therefore if safely I may lay me down I 
 will beguile vnquiet thoughts with quiet sleepe : it is 
 said that Galino breeds no Serpents, nor doth Englands 
 forrests nourish Beares or Lyons, therefore without 
 hurt I hope I may rest awile. Thus leauing faire Mar- 
 garet in a sweet slumber, we will returne to Duke 
 Robert, who had thus plotted his escape from his 
 keepers. 
 
 Hauing liberty of the King to hawke and hunt, hee 
 determined on a day, as he should follow the chase, to 
 leaue the hounds to the Hart, and the hunters to their 
 homes, and being busie in their sport, himselfe would 
 flie, which hee performed at that time when hee ap- 
 pointed Margaret to meete him, and so comming to the 
 place, his horse all on a water, and himself in a sweat, 
 finding his Loue asleepe, he awaked her with a kisse, 
 saying, Arise faire Margaret, now comes the time 
 wherein thou shalt be made a Queene^ and presently 
 setting her on horsebacke, he posted away. 
 
 Now, when the Keepers saw they had lost his com- 
 pany, and that at the killing of the game, hee was not 
 present, they were among themselues in such a mutiny, 
 that they were ready one to stabbe another. It was thy 
 fault, said one, that hee thus escapt from vs, that hadst 
 more mind of thy pleasure, then of thy prisoner, and by 
 this meanes we are all yudone. The other said as much 

 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 0,3 
 
 to him, that he had thought he had followed him in the 
 chase: hut leauing at last this contention, the one 
 posted rp to the King, while the others coasted vp and 
 downe the Country to search for the Duke, who hauing 
 kild his horse in trauelling, was most vnhappily mette 
 on foot with faire Margaret, ere he could come to any 
 towne, where he might for money haue another. But 
 when he espved his Keepers come to take him, he de- 
 sired Margaret to make shift for herselfe, and to seeke 
 to escape them. But she being of a contrary mind, said, 
 she would liue and die with him. 
 
 The Duke seeing himselfe ready to be surprized, drew 
 out his sword, and said, he would buy his liberty with 
 his life, before he would yeeld to be any more a prisoner; 
 and thereupon began a great fight betwixt them, inso- 
 much that the Duke had killed two of them ; but him- 
 selfe being sore wounded, and faint with ouermuch bleed- 
 ing, at length fell downe, being not able any longer to 
 stand ; and by this meanes the good Duke was taken 
 with his faire loue, and both of them committed to 
 prison. 
 
 But in the meane space, when Grayes wife had 
 missed her maide, and saw she was quite gone, she made 
 great lamentation for her among her neighbours, for she 
 loued her as dearly as any child that euer she bore of 
 her owne body. O Margaret, (quoth she) what cause 
 hadst thou thus to leaue ine ? if thou didst mislike of 
 any thing, why didst thou not tell me? If thy wages
 
 l}4 THE PLEASANT HISTOKIt 
 
 were too little, I would haue mended it : If thy apparell 
 had been too simple, thou shouldst haue had better : If 
 thy worke had bin too great, I would haue had helpe 
 for thee. 
 
 Farewell my sweet Meg, the best seruant that euer 
 came in any mans house, many may I haue of thy name, 
 but neuer any of thy nature, thy diligence is much, in 
 thy hands I laid the whole gouernment of my house, and 
 thereby eased myselfe of that care, which now will cum- 
 ber me. 
 
 Heere shee hath left me my keyes vnto my chests, but 
 my comfort is gone with her presence, euery gentle 
 word that she was wont to speake, comes now into my 
 mind, her courteous behauiour shall I neuer forget : 
 with how sweet and modest a countenance would she 
 qualifie my ouer-hastie nature ? It repents my heart 
 that euer I spoke foule word vnto her. O Meg, wert 
 thou here againe, I would neuer chide thee more : but 1 
 was an vnworthy Dame for such a seruant : what will 
 become of me now, if I should chance to be sicke, see- 
 ing she is gone, that was wont to be both my Apoticary 
 and Physician ? 
 
 Well, quoth her neighbours, there is no remedy now, 
 but to rest content, you shall one day heare of her, doubt 
 you not, and thinke this, that she was not so good, but 
 you may get another as good, and therefore doe not take 
 it so heauily. O neighbour, blame me not to grieue, 
 seeing I haue lost so great a iewell, and sure I am per-
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 95 
 
 swaded, that scant in a bodies life time, they shall meet 
 with the like- 
 
 1 protest, I would circuit England round about on my 
 bare feet to meet with her againe. O, my Meg was 
 surely stole away from me, else would she not haue gone 
 in such sort. Her husband on the other side grieued 
 as much, and rested not night nor day riding vp and 
 downe to seeke her; but shee poore soule, is fast lockt 
 vp in prison, and therfore cannot be met withall. 
 
 But when the King vnderstood of his brothers es- 
 cape, hee was maruelous wroth, giuing great charge and 
 commandement when he was taken, that both his eyes 
 should be put out and be kept in prison till his dying 
 day; appointing also that the Maid should lose her life 
 for presumption of louing him. 
 
 This matter being rumoured ouer all England, it 
 came to the eares of Gray and his wife, who hearing 
 that Margaret also was there in prison appointed to 
 die, the good aged woman neuer rested till she came to 
 the Court, where kneeling before the King with many 
 teares she besought his Maiestie to spare the Maidens 
 life, saying, Most royall King consider, I humbly beseech 
 you, that the Duke your brother was able to entice any 
 woman to his loue : much more a silly Maiden, espe- 
 cially promising her marriage, to make her a Lady, a 
 Dutchesse, or a Queene, who would refuse sOch an offer, 
 when at the instant they might get both a princely hus- 
 band and a high dignity : if death be a Loners guerdon,
 
 96 THE PLEASANT I1IST0KIE 
 
 Y then what is due to hatred? I am in my heart per- 
 swaded, that had my poore Margaret thought it would 
 haue bred your Highnes displeasure, she would neuer 
 haue bought his loue so deare. Had your Grace made 
 it known to your Commons, that it was vnlawful for any 
 to marry the Duke your brother, who would haue at- 
 tempted such an action . if she had wilfully disobeyed 
 your Graces commandement, she might haue been 
 thought worthy of death; but seeing ignorantly she 
 offended, I beseech your Grace to recall the sentence, 
 and let me still enioy my seruant, for neuer will 1 rise, 
 till your Maiestie haue granted my petition. 
 
 His Highnes, who was of nature mercifull, beholding 
 the womans abundant teares, tooke pitie on her, aud 
 granted her suite: which being obtained, shee went 
 home in all haste possible. And from thence, slice with 
 her husband taking their ioumey to Cardiffe castle, they 
 came at that very instant when the Maiden was led to- 
 ward her death, who went in most ioyfull sort to the 
 same, saying, that they were not worthy to be accounted 
 true louers, that were not willing to die for loue : and 
 so with a smiling countenance she passed on, as if she 
 had eaten Apium Jlisus, which causeth a man to die 
 laughing: but her Dame Gray seeing her, fell about her 
 nccke, and with many kisses imbraced her, saying, Thou 
 shalt not die my wench, but goe home with me; and for 
 thy dcliuery, behold here the Kings letters ; and with 
 that she deliuered them vp to the governour of the 
 Castle: who reading them found these words written :
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 97 
 
 Wee pardon the maids life, and grant her liberty, hut 
 let her not passe, till she see her louers eyes put out, 
 which we will haue you doe in such sort that not onely 
 the sight may perish, but the eye continue faire, for 
 which cause I baue sent downe Doctor Piero, that he 
 may execute the same. 
 
 The Gouernour of the Castle hauing read the Kings 
 letter, said thus to the Maiden : The Kings Maiesty 
 hath pardoned thy life, and allowed thy liberty : but you 
 must not passe before you see your Louers eyes put out. 
 O sir, said the Maiden, mistake not your selfe, they are 
 my eyes that must be put out, and not the Dukes : as 
 his offence grew by my meanes, so I being guilty, ought 
 to receiue the punishment. 
 
 The Kings commandement must be fulfilled, said 
 the Gouernour : and therewithall Duke Robert was 
 brought forth, who hearing that he must lose his eyes, 
 said thus : The Noble mind is neuer conquered by *> 
 griefe, nor ouercome by mischance : but as the Hart 
 reneweth his age by eating the Serpent, so doth a man 
 lengthen his life with deuouring sorrow : my eyes haue 
 offended the King, and they must be punished, my heart 
 is in as great fault, why is not that killed ? 
 
 The Kings Maiesty, said the Gouernour, spares your 
 life of meere loue, and onely is content to satisfie the 
 Law with the losse of your eyes, wherefore take in good 
 part this punishment, and thinke you haue deserued 
 greater then is granted. 
 
 With this Margaret cryed out, saying, O my deare 
 
 H
 
 98 THE PLEASANT HIST0R1E 
 
 Loue, most gentle Prince, well may you wish that I had 
 neuer bin borne, who by seeing of mee must lose your 
 sight ; but happie should I count my selfe, if it so 
 please the King, that I might redeeme thy eyes with my 
 life : or else, that being an equall offender, I might 
 receiue equall punishment : hadst thou sustained this 
 smart for some Queene or Princesse of high blood, it 
 might with the more ease be borne, but to endure it for 
 such a one as I, it must needs cause a treble griefe to be 
 increased. 
 
 Content thee faire Margaret said the Duke : -for— 
 honour ought to be giuen to vertue, and not riches   for 
 Glory, Honor, Nobility and riches without vertue, are 
 but clokes of maliciousnes. And now let me take my 
 leaue of thy beauty, for neuer must I behold thy face : 
 notwithstanding I account my eyes well lost, in that I 
 doe forgoe them for so peereles a paragon. Now faire 
 heauens farewell, the Sunne, Moone, and Starres shall I 
 in this world neuer behold againe, and farewell also the 
 fruitfull earth : well may I feele thee, but those poore 
 windowes of my body are now denyed to view thee any 
 more : and though the world hath euer bin my foe, yet 
 will I bid thee farewell too, and farewell all my friends, 
 whiles I live here in this world, I must suppose to sleepe 
 and wake when I come in heauen, where I hope to see 
 you all againe. Yet had it pleased the King, I had 
 rather haue lost my life then my eyes. Life, why, what 
 is it but a flowre, a bubble in the water, a spanne long, 
 and full of miserie : of such small account is life, that
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 99 
 
 euery Soldier will sell it for six pence. And trust me, 
 I doe now detest life, worse then a goat doth hate 
 Basill. 
 
 With that the Doctor prepared his instrument, and 
 being 1 ready to set to the Dukes eyes, he said, O stay 
 Master Doctor, till I haue conueyed my Loues counte- 
 nance downe into my heart : Come hither my sweet, 
 and let me giue thee my last kisse, while mine eyes may 
 direct me to thy cherry lips. Then iinbracing her in his 
 armes, he said, O that I might giue thee a kisse of xx 
 yeeres long, and to satisfie my greedy eyes with thy 
 sight : yet it doth somewhat content me, because thou 
 art present at my punishment, that I may hold thee by 
 the hand, to comfort my heart, at the sudden pricke of 
 my eye. 
 
 This being said, the Doctor performed his duty, and 
 so put out the christall sight : at what time D. Robert 
 started vp and with a most manly courage said, I must 
 thanke his Maiestie, that though hee depriueth me of 
 my sight, yet he leaueth me eyes to weepe for my sinnes. 
 But so soone as Margaret beheld the deed, she fell 
 downe in a swoune; and much a doe her- dame had to 
 recouer her life : which when the Duke vnderstood, hee 
 wa3 wondrous woe, groaping for her with his bleeding 
 eyes, saying O where is my Loue ? for Gods sake haue 
 regard to her. And I pray you most heartily, good 
 good-wife Gray, let her haue this fauour for my sake, 
 that she may be vsed kindly. And with that the Keepers 
 led him into the Castle, and Margaret was carried away
 
 100 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 wondrous sickc and ill : but her dame was most tender 
 ouer her; and would suffer her to lacke nothing. When 
 she was somewhat well recouered, her Dame Gray set 
 her on horsebacke : and at her comming to Glocester, 
 there was no small ioy. 
 
 How Thomas Doue being fallen to decay, was forsaken 
 of his friends, and despised of his seruants : and how 
 in the end he was raised againe through the liberality 
 of the Clothiers. Chap. 14. 
 
 Such as seeke the pleasure of the world, follow a shadow 
 wherein is no substance : and as the adder Aspis tickleth 
 a man to death, so doth vaine pleasure flatter vs, till it 
 makes vs forget God, and consume our substance, as by 
 Tom Doue it is apparent, who had through a free heart, 
 and a liberall minde wasted his wealth ; and looke how 
 his goods consumed, so his friends fled from him : And 
 albeit he had beene of great ability, and thereby done 
 good vnto many, yet no man regarded him in his pouerty, 
 but casting a scornefull countenance vpon him, they 
 passed by him with slender salutation ; neither would 
 any of his former acquaintance do him good, or pleasure 
 him the value of a farthing ; his former friendship done 
 to them was quite forgot, and he made of as much 
 account, as lob when he sate on the dunghill. 
 
 Now, when his wicked seruants saw him in this dis- 
 grace with the world, they on the other side began to 
 disdaine him. Notwithstanding that hee (to his great
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 101 
 
 cost) had long time brought them vp, yet did they 
 nothing regard it, but behind his backe in most scorne- 
 full sort derided him, and both in their words and actions 
 greatly abuse him, reuerence they would doe none vnto 
 him, but when they spake, it was in such malapert sort, 
 as would grieue an honest minde to heare it. 
 
 At last it came to passe, that breaking out into meere 
 contempt, they said they would stay no longer with him, 
 and that it was a great discredit for them, to serue a 
 person so beggerly : whereupon they thought it conue- 
 nient to seeke for their benefits elsewhere. When the 
 distressed man found the matter so plaine being in great 
 griefe, he spake thus vnto them Now do I find, to my 
 sorrow, the small trust that is in this false world. Why, 
 my Masters (quoth he) haue you so much forgotten my 
 former prosperity, that you nothing regard my present 
 necessity ? in your wants I forsooke you not, in your 
 sicknesse I left you not, nor despised you in your great 
 pouerty : it is not vnknowne, though you doe not con- 
 sider it, that I tooke some of you vp in the high-way, 
 othersome from your needy parents, and brought the 
 rest from meere beggery to a house of bounty ; where 
 from paltrie boyes, I brought you vp to mans state, and 
 haue, to my great cost, taught you a trade, whereby you 
 may Hue like men. And in requitall cf all my courtesie, 
 cost and good will, will you now on a sudden forsake 
 me ? is this the best recompence that you can find your 
 hearts to yeeld mee ?
 
 102 THE PLEASANT H1ST01UE 
 
 This is farre from the minds of honest seruants. 
 The fierce Lion is kind to those that doe him good : 
 plucke hut one thorne out of his foot, and for the same 
 he will shew manifold fauors. The wilde Bull will not 
 ouerthrow his dam : and the very Dragons are dutifull 
 to their nourishers. Bee better aduised and call to 
 mind, I beseech you, that I haue not pluckt a thorne out 
 of your feet, butdrawne your whole bodies out of perils, 
 and when you had no meanes to helpe your selues, I 
 onely was your support, and he, that when all other 
 forsooke you, did comfort you in all your extremities. 
 
 And what of all this, quoth one of them ? because 
 you tooke vs vp poore, doth it therefore follow, that we 
 must be your slaues ? We are young-men, and for our 
 part, we are no further to regard your profit, then it 
 may stand with our preferment : Why should we lose 
 our benefit to pleasure you? if you taught vs our trade, 
 and brought vs vp from boies to men, you had our 
 sendee for it, whereby you made no small benefit, if you 
 had as well vsed it, as we got it. But if you be poore, 
 you may thanke your selfe, being a iust scourge for 
 your prodigalitie, and is my opinion plaine, that to 
 stay with you, is the next way to make vs like you, 
 neither aide to helpe our selues, nor our friends ; there- 
 fore in briefe ; come pay me my wages, for I will not 
 stay, let the rest doe as they will, for I am resolued. 
 
 Well said his Master, if needs thou wilt be gone, 
 here is part of thy wages in hand, and the rest as soone
 
 OF THOMAS OP READING. 103 
 
 as God sends it, thou shalt haue it : and with that, 
 turning to the rest, he said, Let me yet intreat you to 
 stay, and leaue me not altogether destitute of helpe : by 
 your labours must I liue, and without you I know not 
 what to doe. Consider therefore my need, and regard 
 my great charge. And if for my sake you will doe 
 nothing, take compassion of my poore children ; stay 
 my sliding foot, and let me not vtterly fall, through your 
 flying from me. 
 
 Tush (quoth they) what do you talke to vs ? we can 
 haue better wages, and serue a man of credit, where our 
 fare shall be farre better, and our games greater : there- 
 fore the world might count vs right coxcomes, if we 
 should forsake our profit, to pleasure you : therefore 
 adieu, God send you more money, for you are like to 
 haue no more men : and thus they departed. 
 
 When they were gone, within a while after they met 
 one with another, saying, What cheare ? are you all come 
 away : in faith I, what should we doe else, quoth they : 
 but hear'st thou sirra, hast thou got thy wages ? Not yet 
 saith the other, but I shall haue it, and that is as good, 
 tis but x shillings. Saist thou so (said he) now I see 
 thou art one of God Almighties idiots .- Why so, said the 
 other? Because (quoth he) thou wilt be feJ with shales : 
 but He tell thee one thing, twere better for thee quickly 
 to arrest him, lest some other doing it before, and there 
 be nothing left to pay thy debt: hold thy peace, 
 faire words make fooles faine, and it is an old
 
 104 THE PLEASANT HISTORIC 
 
 saying-, One bird in hand is worth two in bush : 
 if thou dost not arrest him presently, I will not 
 giue thee two pence for thy x. shillings. How shall I 
 come by him, quoth the other ? giue me but two pots 
 of ale', and He betray him, said he. So they being 
 agreed, this smooth-fac'd Iudas comes to his late master, 
 and told him that a friend of his at the doore would 
 speake with him. The vnmistrusting man thinking no 
 euill, went to the doore where presently an Officer 
 arrested him at his mans suite. 
 
 The poore man seeing this, being strucken into a 
 sudden sorrow, in the griefe of his heart spake to this 
 effect : Ah thou lewd fellow, art thou the first man that 
 seekes to augment my miserie ? Haue I thus long giuen 
 thee bread, to breed my ouerthrow ? and nourisht thee 
 in thy neede, to worke my destruction ? Full little did 
 I thinke, when thou so often diddest dip thy false fingers 
 In my dish, that I gaue food to my chiefest foe : but 
 what boote complaints in these extremes ? Goe wife, 
 quoth he, vnto my neighbours, and see if thou canst get 
 any of them to be my baile. But in vaine was her paines 
 spent. Then he sent to his kinsfolkes, and they denied 
 him : to his brother, and he would not come at him, so 
 that there was no shift, but to prison he must : but as 
 he was going, a Messenger met him with a letter from 
 Master Cole, wherein as you heard, hee had promised 
 him two hundred pounds : which when the poore man 
 read, hee greatly reioyced, and shewing the same to the
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 103 
 
 Officer, hee was content to take Lis owne word. Where- 
 upon Tom Doue went ^presently to Reading, where at 
 his comming, he found all the rest of the Clothiers, 
 lamenting Coles vntimely death; where the wofull 
 widdow paid him the money, by which deed all the 
 rest of the Clothiers were induced to doe some- 
 thing for Doue. And thereupon one gaue him 
 ten pounds, another twenty, another thirtie pounds, 
 to begin the world anew : and by this meanes (toge- 
 ther with the blessing of God) he grew into greater 
 credit then euer hee was before. And riches being 
 thus come vpon him, his former friends came fawn- 
 ing vnto him and when he had no neede of them, 
 then euerie one was readie to proffer him kindnesse. 
 His wicked seruants also that disdained him in his dis- 
 tresse, were after glad to come creeping vnto him, 
 intreating with cap and knee for his fauour and 
 friendship. And albeit hee seemed to forgiue their 
 trespasses done against him, yet hee would often say 
 he would neuer trust them for a straw. And thus he 
 euer after liued in great wealth and prosperitie, doing 
 much good to the poore, and at his death, left to his 
 children great lands.
 
 106 THE PLEASANT H1STOIUE 
 
 How faire Margaret made her estate and high birth 
 knowne to her Master and Dame : and for the intire 
 loue she bore to Duke Robert, made a vow neuer to 
 marry, but became a Nun in the Abbey at Glocester. 
 Chap. 15. 
 After faire Margaret was come againe to Glocester 
 neuer did she behold the cleare day, but with a weeping 
 eye : and so great was the sorrow which she concerned, 
 for the losse of Duke Robert her faithfull Louer, that 
 she vtterly despised all the pleasures of this life, and at 
 last bewrayed her selfe in this sort vnto her Dame : 
 
 O my good Master and Dame, too long haue I dis- 
 sembled my parentage from you, whom the froward 
 destinies doe pursue to deserued punishment. The 
 wofull daughter am I of the vnhappy Earle of Shrews- 
 burie, who euer since his banishment, haue done nothing 
 but drawne mischance after mee : wherefore let me in- 
 treat you (dear Master and Dame) to haue your good 
 wills, to spend the remnant of my life in some blessed 
 Monasterie. 
 
 When Gray and his wife heard this, they wondred 
 greatly, as well at her birth, as at her strange demaund. 
 Whereupon her dame knew not how to call her, whe- 
 ther Maiden or Madam, but said, O good Lord, are you 
 a Ladie, and I know it not ? I am sorrie that I knew it 
 not before. But when the folkes of the house heard 
 that Margaret was a Lady, there was no small altera- 
 tion : and moreouer her Dame said, that she had
 
 OF THOMAS OF READING. 107 
 
 thought to haue had a match between her and her son : 
 and by many perswasions did seeke to withdraw her 
 from being a Nun, saying in this manner : What Mar- 
 garet, thou art young and faire, the world (no doubt) 
 hath better fortune for thee whereby thou maist leaue 
 an honourable issue behind thee, in whom thou mayst 
 Hue after death. 
 
 These and many other reasons did they alledge vnto 
 her, but all in vaine : she making this reply, Who 
 knowes not that this world giueth the pleasure of an 
 houre, but the sorrow of many daies J for it paith euer 
 that which it promiseth, which is nothing else but con- 
 tinuall trouble and vexation of the minde. Do you think, 
 if I had the offer and choice of the mightiest Princes of 
 Christendom, that I could match my selfe better then 
 to my Lord Jesus ? No, no, hee is my husband, to 
 whom I yeeld my selfe both body and soule, giuing to 
 him my heart, my loue and my most firme affections : 
 I haue ouerlong loued this vile world : therefore I 
 beseech you farther disswade me not. 
 
 When her friends by no meanes could alter her 
 opinion, the matter was made knowne to his Maiestie, 
 who against the time that she should be receiued into 
 the Monasterie, came to Glocester with most part of his 
 Nobilitie, to honour her action with his princely presence. 
 
 All things being therefore prepared, the young Lady 
 was in most princely wise attired in a gowne of pure 
 white sattin, her kirtle of the same, embroidered with 
 gold about the skirts in most curious sort, her head was 
 
 l~
 
 108 THE PLEASANT HISTORIC 
 
 garnished with gold, pearles, and precious stones, 
 hauing her haire like thrids of burnisht gold, hanging 
 downe behind in manner of a princely bride : about her 
 yuory necke iewels of inestimable price were hung, and 
 her handvvrests were compassed about with bracelets of 
 bright-shining Diamonds. 
 
 The streets thorow the which she should passe, were 
 pleasantly deckt with greene oaken boughs. Then 
 came the young Lady most like an heauenly Angell out 
 of her masters house, at what time all the bells in Glo- 
 cester were solemnly rung : she being led betwixt the 
 Kings Maiestie, hauing on his Royal Robes, and Impe- 
 riall Crowne, and the chiefe Bishop wearing his Miter, 
 in a Cope of cloth of gold, euer her head a Canopy of 
 white silke, fringed about in princely manner : before 
 her went an hundred Priests singing, and after her all 
 the chiefe Ladies of the Land : then all the wiues and 
 Maidens of Glocester followed, with an innumerable 
 sort of people on euery side standing to behold her. In 
 this sort she passed on to the Cathedrall Church, where 
 she was brought to the Nunry gate. 
 
 The Lady Abbesse receiued her : where the beautiful 
 Maiden kneeling downe, made her prayer in sight of all 
 the people : then with her owne hands she vndid her 
 virgins faire gowne, and tooke it off, and gaue it away 
 to the poore : after that, her kirtle, then her iewels, 
 bracelets and rings, saying, Farewell the pride and 
 vanitie of this world. The ornaments of her head were 
 the next shee gaue away ; and then was shee led on one
 
 OF THOMAS OP HEADING. 109 
 
 side, where she was stripped, and in stead of her smocke 
 of soft silke had a smocke of rough haire put vpon her. 
 
 Then came one with a paire of sheares, and cut off 
 her golden-coloured lockes, and with dust and ashes all 
 bestrewed her head and face. Which being done, she 
 was brought againe into the peoples sight bare foot and 
 bare leg'd, to whom she said ; Now farewell the world, 
 farewell the pleasures of this life, farewell my Lord the 
 King, and to the Dukes sweet loue farewell, now shall 
 my eyes weepe for my former transgressions, and no 
 more shall my tongue talke of vanity ; farewell my good 
 Master and Dame, and farewell all good people. 
 
 With which words she was taken away, and neuer 
 after seene abroad. When Duke Robert heard thereof, 
 he desired that at his death, his body might be buried in 
 Glocester: in that Townc, quoth he, where first my 
 cleare eyes beheld the heauenly beauty of my Loue, and 
 where for my sake shee forsooke the world : which was 
 performed accordingly. 
 
 The King also at his death requested to be buried at 
 Reading, for the great loue hee bare to that place, 
 among those Clothiers, who liuing were his hearts com- 
 fort. Gray dying wondrous wealthy, gaue land to the 
 Monasterie whereinto Margaret was taken. William 
 Fitzallen also dyed a most rich man, hauing builded 
 many houses for the poore, whose sonne Henry after 
 was the first Maior that was cuer in London. 
 
 Sutton of Salisbury did also at his death much good, 
 and gaue an hundred li. to be yeerely lent to poore 
 4
 
 110 THE PLEASANT HISTORIE 
 
 vveauers of the Towne, to the worlds end. Simon of 
 South-hampton gaue a most bounteous gift towards the 
 building 1 of a Monastery at Winchester. Hodgkins of 
 Hallifax did also great good, and so did Cutbert of 
 Kendall, who had married xxiii. couples out of his owne 
 house, giuing each of them x. li. to beginne the world 
 withall. Martin Briam of Manchester gaue toward the 
 building of a free-schoole in Manchester, a great masse 
 of money. And thus (gentle reader) haue I finished 
 my storie of these worthy men, desiring thee to take my 
 paines in good part, which will ingage me to greater 
 matters, perceiuing this curteously accepted. 
 
 FINIS.
 
 
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