1 iv K "^;-Y M '.!*:.- .**> ' r- ,' /- '* ; //" ^ LETTERS PROSE, RHYME, AND BLANK-VERSE. ..:.'-i 'A. ... '-A'-ii. LOUISE ELEMJAY, A LADY OF THE SOUTH. >u-c (*>* A sigh, a smile, and folly's tinkling chime, These are our footprints on the sands of time. i--* ^, > CINCINNATI: MOORE, ANDERSON, WILSTACH & KEYS, 28 WEST FOURTH STREET. 1852. MONOLOGUE WITH THE PURCHASER. JUST please to lay down this book, Mr. Borrower, we don't commit black and white for you to read, and shouldn't be propitiated if you were to sit up the whole blessed night to sponge a perusal; so you see, friend ti Purchaser, that if we are "tedious as a king," we in- >. tend you to have the entire benefit of that uncommon jjj idiosyncracy. * |l 3 " And you know it used to be the fashion for the poor, craven, fawning, toady of an author, to deprecate the ?? wrath of the critics in a good set speech, anticipating w and admitting their righteous verdict of denunciation, S and then to smooth down the ruffled plumage of the minor literati, or reading public, with a plentiful liba- <5 tion of stale, fulsome commonplace, invariably winding x up with a pathetic appeal for toleration, patronage, and o sympathy. Mi-rdb-i-le! Wouldn't we like to catch H tu ourselves at anything of the kind in " this ENLIGHTENED 3 AGE ? " You have doubtless good sound sense and lite- < rary taste, or you wouldn't have bought our book ; but as to the general enlightenment, we can't speak posi tively, till we see what reception it gives to these LETTERS and MISCELLANIES. (iii) iv MONOLOGUE WITH THE PDKCHASEB. As for the critics, they may find it amusing to throw dust into other people's eyes, but we don't gold dust more particularly ; and as for making " the fine fyea" to sweeten their cream-o'-tartar visages, that's out of the question; cause why, it's much' easier for some folks to make ugly faces " now-a-days," than pretty ones. And then, the supposition of their ever looking much beyond the title-page of one-half the books they undertake to praise or berate so unmercifully, is so refreshingly verdant, that it would be cruel to tan talize the locusts and caterpillars by any such preten sion! So, you see, there is no help for it they will e'en have to abuse us to their heart's content; though our own private opinion (publicly expressed) is, that they will feel far more fatigued than satisfied, when they have done ; for we intend to go right off to an insurance office^ and then if we are " killed with a criticism," it will be a matter for the stockholders to look into. But, only think now, of saying GENTLE READER, to some snarling, vinegar-faced cynic telling him your book is infinitely beneath the notice of his high mighti ness yet begging and beseeching that he will graciously please to read and condescend to praise it, nevertheless. " Angels and ministers of grace defend us ! " Does the Public ever expect us to "sin our poor miserable soul" after that fashion? If it does, it needn't! And you wouldn't have us to jib so upon any account, would you ? for, certes, you must know, we do think the book very MONOLOGUE WITH THE PURCHASER. V well worth your time and money too otherwise we should feel very much like having swindled you out of that dollar, and that would be an uncomfortable sensa tion. Not but that you may be used to such operations, and also that there may be some better poetry, and even prose, extant ; though ours is very good the poetry we mean to fill up the pages and diversify their appear ance ; so, on the whole, it is pretty confidently expected that you will find yourself exceedingly well entertained, for the time being, by these random gleanings from the past: Always provided you don't dash them down in a fury, the first time a wipe of the pen happens to come across any of your sectional, sectarian, or political prepossessions. Don't do it, friend ; in the first place, it's undignified, very, unless you happen to be a philosopher, in which case you can say, "/'s enough to provoke a saint" and then rave as much as you like ; in the second, it won't alter the type, or the facts, or the author's opinion in the least; and then again, a woman being never very cele brated for knowing her own mind long at a time, it's just possible you may find a recantation, if you only keep on. That depends, though, on whether the subject comes up again of its own accord, for our readers being sensible, can not of course expect us to go out of the way merely to say, We are a vast deal wiser now than we were twenty years ago / for where is the use of being tossed up and down the world like Sancho Panza in his blanket, if there is nothing to be learned in the process ? Vl MONOLOGUE WITH THE PURCHASES. But, whatever you do, don't worry yourself about identity or venue, for if ever you come to the conclusion that both are transparent as gossamer, the chances are, just then, very much in favor of your having mystified yourself most beautifully. Not that there's anything special to conceal, or that we haven't a perfect right to put ourselves in a pillory, unmasked, for your edifica tion ; but then we don't choose all our acquaintance to feel that their daguerreotypes have been stolen and hawked up and down the country ; so, if you chance to belong to " that useful and ingenious class of citizens who prefer minding everybody's business beside their own," just thank your kind, and our " contrary -minded " stars, for having given you a peep into somebody's pri vate correspondence, and some little insight into matters and things which don't concern you in the least. "But, oh ! my heart is sad, and my lips are mute, As I yield up to censure the dreams of my youth, Whose warblings brought Shadows of beauty to whisper with me, Love, hope, feeling, and fantasy, From the realms of thought!" However, one's courage may be " screwed up to the sticking point," and you are just as welcome as your neighbor, so "take the goods the gods have provided, and be thankful 1 " Yours, as you demean yourself, THE AUTHOR, or, if you insist, THE WRITEKESS. Sharon, Mississippi, 1852. CONTENTS. PAGB MONOLOGUE with the Publisher ................................ 3 CONTENTS ................................................... 7 LETTER I. First Impressions of Virginia .................... 9 LETTEE II. Virginia Hospitality, etc ........................ 20 LETTER III. Desultory Gossip ............................... 31 LETTER IV. Light and Shade ............................... 35 Farewell to a Friend .......................... 40 LETTER V. Advice and Remonstrance ....................... 41 Elegiac Lines ................................ 48 LETTER VI. Supplement to the preceding one ................. 49 Epithalamium ................................ 55 LETTER VII. Metaphysics and other Vagaries .................. 56 That other Home ............................. 60 LETTER VIII. Strictures on Sectarian Creeds .................... 61 Orphanage ................................... 75 LETTER IX. Objections to Texan Adventure in 1834 ........... 79 - LETTER X. New England Abstractions ............... . ...... 86 My Common-place Book ....................... 98 My last Lesson in Mathematics ................. 101 The Oak Sapling An Apologue ................ 102 LETTER XI. Everything in general and Nothing in particular. .. 109 LETTER XII . Gossip with an old Schoolmate ................... 117 LETTER XIII. On the Decease of a favorite Brother .............. 126 "They may deem 'tis the Love of Another" ..... 132 WHAT is TRUTH ? .............................. 132 (vii) Vlll CONTENTS. PAOB .-LETTER XIV. Nonsense, Tennessee, and Slavery 135 Reminiscence 158 To the Loved in Heaven 162 Fourth of July Address to the Sons of Temperance. 163 Midnight Musings 169 Fragment 172 " Fail, fail it dare not think to fail" 172 LETTEE XV. ON THE DEATH OF A YOUNG LADY killed by the acci dental explosion of a rocket 174 To Cecilia in Heaven 183 LETTER XVI. To an unfortunate and misguided Friend 184 LINES suggested by an old Print 192 LETTER XVII. " To a Young Lawyer in "Washington" 193 LETTER XVIII. Personalities and Matters and Things in general. . . 214 DEMAND for a SONG 249 LETTER XIX. Salmagundi of Gossip and Autobiography 250 "THE HOME FEVER." By A. J.Pickering 272 EVELYN 275 A L' OUTRANGE 276 PASS ON .277 k*.* LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES, LETTER I. FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF VIRGINIA. TO J. S. AND NIECE. Eagle Eyrie, Va., Aug. 19, 1828 or 9.* MY DEAR UNCLE AND SISTER, You will no doubt be surprised at my date, but it is even so here I am on the banks of old Powhatan, though, with my eyes closed, I can scarce realize that I am not still standing on the soil of my native state. As no satisfactory explanation of this singular de parture from the original, or rather ostensible plan of travel can be given, suffice it to say that such was Mr. B - 's pleasure ; and further that the contre-temps of the first twenty-four hours, were a most appropriate prelude to the whole performance. It was not indeed productive of any incident peculiarly disastrous; but abounded in petty annoyances sufficient to rouse apathy itself into rage; being, as they generally were, the re sult of B - 's excellent contrivance, and his laudable effort, to see Tww disgusting a " would be wit, and can't be gentleman," could render himself, by enacting at sixty the beau of nineteen. * Dates omitted in first copy, are now doubtful. 10 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. "We left Geneva at the time appointed, spent two days in Utica, as many more inspecting the notabili ties of Albany and its vicinity, visited Troy, Lansing- burgh, the Falls of the Cohoes; and last, not least, attended service in a neat country church, imbosomed in one of the loveliest groves man ever consecrated to his Maker. It was a perfect gem of beauty ; but that is nothing to B 's encomium namely, that the officiating clergyman " never varied but once (and that was probably a lapsus linguae) from HIS standard of pronunciation" If that isn't honor enough, his reve rence must have a very inordinate share of vanity ; so I suppress all names for fear of endangering his humi lity. It will never do, though, to omit, among other un important items, a flying call on the father, brother, and cousins of the learned critic. "We dined with one of the latter, and despite my predetermination to dislike the whole kith and kin, found some of them extremely polite and inteligent; all wealthy, respectable, and much, very much more agreeable than could have been ex pected, judging from the specimen previously exhibited of the family. August 1st, we left for New York ; but taking Hud son en route, did not arrive until the evening of the 2d. On the following morning, I had the pleasure of hear ing the old man (I can't find it in my heart to call him gentleman) announce his intention of proceeding to Virginia in the first packet that sailed for Norfolk. Remonstrance was useless, so I at length signified my intention to remain as long as I saw good that is, until I had seen all the lions unless he condescended to assign a reason, for this unexpected procedure. He had only a pretext, submission had to follow of course, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 11 so finding my power absolute, and knowing that it must inevitably be short ; I resolved (as any good lover of authority would) to make the most of it while it lasted. And verily the way in which I proclaimed and executed my own good will and pleasure for three consecutive days, would have done honor to the Grand Seignior, or the Autocrat of all the Eussias. Never was city more thoroughly reconnoitered in the same length of time by a single individual. Paul Pry himself could not have exceeded me in ferreting out things worthy to be looked at ; and I believe the sexagenarian's brain fairly reeled with the rapidity of my evolutions ; for if he didn't find the full significance of imperium ad irnperio, illustrat ed much to the benefit of future scholastics no doubt in a way he never imagined before, I am much mistaken. " Transit gloria" must have consoled him though, for even the Czar has only a quarter of a century, and I had considerably less; so my last act of absolutism (" oh lame and impotent conclusion") was, declining to take passage in the dirty old vessel which the dirt- loving old Dutchman had selected for the sake of cheapness I presume and pronounced " nice and ele gant." Fortunately my own choice fell on a packet, whose owner was going out to see how she made her first trip; and he, being an acquaintance of one of "mine hostess' " boarders, was brought round to Court- landt street and introduced. This all sounds very puerile and commonplace; yet but for this apparently trivial inci dent, I should have been left entirely without protection. There had been fires in the city for two nights pre vious ; the first, which destroyed a new and very valuable block of buildings on Laurens street, did not disturb the Benedict's equanimity in the least: but the 12 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. seconed -which consumed a book and stationery store containing some of his invaluable works on Elementary Education "for the use of schools in the United States and Great Britain" so "deranged his plans" (for plans read feelings), that he resolved to abandon me to the care of strangers. It was only at the very last minute though, that this caricature of a man came into the cabin, exhausted his breath and his rhetoric, in the delivery of as many "nice," plausible little "fibs" as he could conveniently invent, and then took his leave. Grief for his absence did not, however, prevent my watching the green islands and shores that rose and ex panded to view, bright, beautiful as youth's earliest dream of happiness, with an intensity of feeling I can neither recall nor describe. Unfortunately, the mood was an evanescent one, so I fell to calculating how long I should be willing to be lashed to a mast and wet to the skin for the sake of seeing old Nep. in a magnificent fury. Don't scold me, I was tolerably reasonable after all ; but the sparkling waves that threw their light spray gracefully over the bow of the boat, intimated pretty clearly that his godship had no idea of putting himself in a passion for any such insignificant mortal as myself, BO I went below, to administer, if necessary, to the com fort of another lady passenger, who was by this time quite sick with the further intention of preparing my eyes for a moonlight, survey of the waters, by closing them against an hour or two's sunshine but on enter ing the cabin, found, to my surprise, that instead of ren dering, I had to receive assistance, and soon perceived the rolling of the vessel to be as complete a cure for ex cited imagination, as I had imagined the latter for sea sickness. Happily, my initiation was both short and LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 13 slight I left the deck about eleven o'clock one morning, and returned a little earlier on the next. Mr. A. the proprietor, constructed me a sort of arbor, out of coats, cloaks, and umbrellas, and spared no pains to make my passage agreeable as possible. Indeed, I soon found that I had fallen into excellent hands when abandoned to his care. His quiet, unobtrusive, and gentlemanly manner, contrasted admirably with the never-ceasing officiousness of his predecessor. His kindness in having nie set ashore, (on the evening of the 12th,) half a mile below the ' ' Land ing," spared me a circuitous and fatiguing walk to Maj. C.'s residence when you recollect the value of S a fresh breeze after a calm, you will appreciate this cour tesy all the better a few moments then brought us to his door ; I was introduced, and Mr. A. soon after bade me farewell. He was the last link in the chain of my New York acquaintance, and his departure made me feel at once alone in a land of strangers. Nothing, however, was wanting on the part of " the Major," as Mr. 0. is commonly styled, to dissipate this S . unpleasant feeling ; and the ladies of his family, four in number, evinced so much kindliness of feeling, and hos pitality of intention, that I soon ceased to remark what struck me, at first, as the somewhat singular manner in which it was developed. One of these "nine hundred and ninety-ninth cousins," a coarse, good-natured, and rather good-looking passee, with more diameter of ancle than an orthodox belle should have, is the individual alluded to by B., as the "elegant and accomplished lady" of his ex-excellency at least I infer that she is, as he has no wife, and she is Madam, the mistress. The children are all from home at present, nor are they expected to return for several months. I am not sorry 14 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. to have some leisure for reflection, before entering on an untried experiment ; but fear that so much time unem ployed, will cause me to regret more and more having missed the pleasure of visiting Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington, according to my original expectation. Rather than waste it in useless repining, I will employ a small portion in transporting your minds to my present abode. Gladly would I do it with the same grace that Mr. A. transferred me to the fatherly care of its propri etor; but this you will not expect. The exterior of the domicil is rather more than respectable, though merely wooden, the interior exceeds it, perhaps, in the estima tion of eyes accustomed to its style; but to me, the naked floors, waxed and polished until one is thrown into a nervous fever, by constant apprehension of a fall and conscious inability to rise, present as cheerless, com fortless, desolate a prospect, as one would wish to con template in his most misanthropic hours. The walls ap pear to have been painted and witewashed in days of yore, and doubtless, " once were clean and may be so again," though this is rather problematical. The furni ture is scarce and plain, and seems to have escaped the fortunes of war during the ravages of Cornwallis, to the end it might become a resting-place for musquitoes ; of which Virginia is the paradise. Now, there is another sentence would throw Blair into spasmodics ; but never mind, I think I am beyond his jurisdiction now, and shall tack appendages to sentences just whenever I please. The garden is indeed a southern one, in the profusion and variety of its shrubs and flowers; their absence might cause a sigh of regret, their presence, in their present location, creates a pang of dissatisfaction. The LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 15 eminence, too, on which the mansion stands, might com mand an extensive view of the noble river that washes its base, did not unsightly trees intercept the prospect, and impede the descent. Nature has done everything for the place, art nothing ! It wants only the reforming hand of taste, and Eagle Eyrie might become a scene of surpassing loveliness. But the river the fairy river man did not make, he has not marred it! It has not, indeed, (not at this point at least,) the bold banks and magnificent scenery of the Hudson; which, with some of the loveliest creations that ever bore the impress of divinity, suspend the very existence of the beholder in motionless rapture over its romantic charm ; but beauty, beauty is written on the lightest curl of every wave that reflects back to the sunbeam all the colors of the rain bow; yes, "beauty that one must feel and see, to know how beautiful this world can be." Unfortunately, there seems to be less moral than phy sical loveliness, extant in this immediate vicinity. My acquaintance is veiy limited to be sure; but that cir cumstance alone does not account for the fact, that thus far I have met with little more mental cultivation than the first colonists did. It appears to me that among the ladies, at least, such a thing as a literary taste is a per fect nonentity. It would seem that here, the simple birthright of freedom entitles the possessor, unless very poor, to consider himself the peer of the proudest in the land ; and when conjoined with wealth, supersedes the necessity of any other qualification for such compan ionship: but you may tell my good old friend, Mrs. H., to dismiss all uneasiness on my account, predicated on suspicion that Virginia is an "Infidel State." Nowhere is the name of religion more honored ; and if she does 2 16 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. occasionally see " letters from pious females" and " tract distributors," purporting to come from this State, which speak of "taking up the cross," " being steadfast under persecution," and "following one's Master through evil as well as good report," she may rest assured that phra seology (if, indeed, the whole be not a "pious fraud,") only proves the writer to have imbibed a sectarian cant of expression. The profession of religion is not a cross but "a crown;" the name is popular whether the thing signified is common or not. I suppose it must be though, as the Baptists and Methodists include, I am told, nearly all the respectable population of this and the adjoining counties, in their respective denominations. I was rather in hopes to have made acquaintance with the "old Church of England ; " but as near as I can learn, it seems to have gone pretty much out of fashion in the Old Dominion. I have attended public service only once since my ar rival ; but will endeavor to give you some idea of the performance. To begin at the beginning, the appearance of Maj. C.'s equipage created quite a sensation you must know; clergyman, gentleman, negro, and clown, all seeming so eager to render every needful assistance, that I began to fear we should have to remain in statu quo for the rest of the day. I was mistaken, however, we were at length handed out of the carriage, and into the house. This, I suspect, must have been built in reference to a certain text in Exodus, which refers to" the erection of an altar, and prohibits the use of tools in its con struction. It is simply a rough, covered frame, one story and a half high, with a small window in the rear of the desk; but no other convenience (except the doors,) for the admission of air and light, when the solid, heavy blinds LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 17 are closed down. The seats are not " fixtures," but they are in admirable keeping with the residue of the estab lishment. No sooner had the congregation become sta tionary than an old gentleman volunteered to edify them by the exercise of his vocal powers, and commenced singing " Sweet is the work, my God, my King," care fully inserting a double rest between every note of the tune, and syllable of the line. When Tie had disposed of two stanzas in this way, and was about to make a desperate attack upon a third, and / had come to the commendable resolution of abstracting my attention from his psalmody, and bestowing it on the manners and per sons of those around me, the Major entered, and with a voice, as your friend W. G. would say, "rich, deep, and melodious as the harps of Heaven," succeeded so far in neutralizing the leader's performance, that I for got to return the.compliment of the "assembled worship ers," who, I since learn, manifested a most laudable intention of familiarizing their optics with every line in the combination of my features, and every thread in the texture of my dress. Singing over, the "preacher," a cousin-gerinan of Sir John Falstaff, judging from ap pearances, commenced a discourse, to which " give every devil his due," would have been a most appropriate pre fix; and proceeded with a nasal twang which would have stamped him orthodox in the days of the Protecto rate. But alas for exacting poor human nature, too many of his auditors insiders as well as outsiders instead of thriving demurely on the spiritual food dis pensed, commenced satiating their corporeal appetites with all the fruit and tobacco within their reach. And eyen good old exemplars like the very pattern-hearer, who was "mighty fond of preaching, and didn't care 18 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. much what it was so it was only preaching" getting perhaps a little jealous of monopoly, contrived by sundry unctious sighs, groans, and "Amens" to come in for their full share of attention, and circumvent all wicked wights who might feel an ungodly curiosity to know what the speaker really was saying ; till I, for one, was quite as much delighted by the close of his remarks as you can possibly be by that of my comments. That was rather ungrateful though, for he certainly did originate one comparison entirely new to me perhaps it may be so to you, so I repeat it for the benefit of all whom it may concern: "Religion, or grace, is like a brick-bat thrown against a wall" whose repellent pro perty causes it to " fly off with the velocity of a tan gent." The first half of the last clause gives the exact idea in a condensed form the residue is verbatim, and the only legitimate inference from the preceding remarks was, that nothing but " racing," " cursing," or " danc ing" could at all interfere with the brick-bat of his comparison. Now don't send me a full-grown moral lecture, in return for this sheriff-parson's sermon in petto it was no fault of mine that the subject was so irreverently treated. While on collaterals, I must not omit to state, what I know will give you pleasure, namely that my present abode is one in which the "Family altar" is erected, and the " morning and evening sacrifice" duly offered thereon by the major, who appears to be a sincere Christian though his early religious education must have been somewhat defective. Since my arrival he has received a letter from B., who apologizes to him for leaving me states his " infinite i egret at having been compelled so to do;" and adds, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 19 that he "did not like to tell me (nor any one else, he might have said) the truth, for fear of alarming my very delicate sensibilities." " Isae doot mon," had I learned for the first time in the morning, that there had been fire in the next street the evening preceding, I should have imagined I had perished in the flames! After all, I believe he acted in strict accordance with his original plans ; for they, I presume, may be much better traced by their developments than by such outlines as he pleases to give. Candor, not to say veracity, is altogether too vulgar a virtue for him to patronize, it seems, consequently he never descends to fact, when, by any species of legerdemain, fiction can be made to answer. Bah ! Who would be so common-place ? Any simpleton can tell the truth it takes a man of talent, to invent and sustain a well-digested plausible false hood and don't "marble and mahogany" loom up beautifully in moonshine ? The length of this must be my apology for addressing it to more than one ; when people have contracted the bad habit of writing long letters they cannot of course be expected to manufacture them in great profusion. If this reflection is not perfectly satisfactory, let the aggrieved party give this a second perusal and fancy it a duplicate ; for that is about what both would have received had you been addressed " separately and singly." I think I have hit upon a plan now to silence all grumbling, for any sensible body would, I am sure, prefer keeping quiet to obeying such an injunction. Indeed I am far from certain that both together can make out all I have written ; my autograph is none too legible at best, but I intend to bring in " Stumpie" for a share of the discredit on the present occasion. 20 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Accept, dear uncle and sister, many thanks for your past kindness and best wishes for your future welfare. Yours, LOUISE. LETTER II. VIRGINIA HOSPITALITY, ETC, TO MASTER 8. J. 8 /C^-IA-CA^ /-** &vdsVr Eagle Eyrie, Va., March . DEAR BROTHER STANLEY: COULD you imagine half the pleasure your correspon dence affords, you would never think of withholding it on account of "childish imperfections." When told that it contains the only intelligence received since I left New York, you will better appreciate its value and the warm welcome which always greets its arrival. A bright beam of sunshine, your last dispels for a while the deep gloom which has so long been accumulating round my heart; and I hail this renovation of life's dearest sympathies, as the welcome harbinger of better days to come. "Hope springs eternal in the human breast," were it otherwise, how many a pale brow on which " the tale is traced of young affections run to waste," would too ardently long to lay down its burning thoughts and restless imaginings, "on that couch from which there is no rising up ; and repose its exhausted energies in that sleep which knows no waking." "Oh blindness to the future kindly given, that each may fill the circle marked by heaven 1" The vail which con- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 21 ceals the impenetrable future is to me indeed "a veil of mercy" which spares me many an hour of unavailing wretchedness. I am sorry to find that grandmother so seriously dis approves what she is pleased to style the "madcap, hairbrained project" which I have carried into execu tion without leave or license ; but what better could I have done under existing circumstances ? The doctors said, " it was a sea-voyage, a southern residence, or the churchyard." For the latter, she will admit, I was not prepared, and the means adopted were the only ones in my power to secure either of the former ; for she well knows I would never condescend to accept as a gracious gift, what I knew to be my right ! I must confess, the consciousness of "youth and inexperience" did give me some needless uneasiness, though I hoped, by aid of my sables, ill health and consequent grave deportment, to pass for three or four years older than I really was (not expecting to remain long it made no difference, you know) but soon found all apprehension on that score entirely superfluous. Here at the south a northern birth is fully equivalent to more years than I have told ; add to that the title of teacher or governess and you are at once installed in the honors of five-and -twenty. I could relate sundry anecdotes in proof of this assertion ; but they are better omitted ; for though strictly true, I know grandmother would credit the whole to my inven tion and set me down as an incorrigible quiz/wanting in respect to her gray hairs. Rather than incur such a suspicion, I will obey her injunction a la lettre, and report myself and pupils to the best of my ability ; and she may rely upon the accuracy of the statement, but must not flatter herself that it will prove very agreeable. 22 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. The major, I am told, expresses a high opinion of me abroad, though I suspect his encomiums are little more than .the echo of his oldest son's remarks. The latter is a young man about twenty, who having combined nearly all the talent of the family with a constitution too delicate for most masculine pursuits, has become a great genius in the estimation of his acquaintance, and a perfect oracle in that of his father. By way of under writing his claims, I must say he wears his precocious honors with all humility; perhaps attending the law- school, in New Haven, has something to do with this ; but he certainly does not judge causes by their effects, or he would arrive at a very different conclusion. One of his sisters is naturally "sprightly," and in a section of country where children are not supposed to confer a favor by "going to school and learning their books," would make quite a respectable scholar ^s it is, that is a condescension hardly to be expecteor As for the other daughters and the niece and ward of the Major, such is their inveterate dislike to "study," that never, of their own free will, would they tolerate in their pre sence any one who ever mentioned " books" in their hearing. Still their reason forces them to yield an " all-unwilling confidence" to one who it seem* is never to be permanently honored with their affection. This distresses, and would mortify me exceedingly, did I not observe that, when "too sick to hear lessons," I am nursed by these same children with the utmost kindness, and am always first favorite through all the holidays except the two last, or last two, as your precisions will have it. But once in the school-room, a more stupid, ill-natured, captious set of ignoramuses never tried the patience of man or woman. Yet I manage to get along LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 23 by setting down all these annoyances to the charge of an irksome confinement. I cannot think of holding myself responsible for them, nor do I think it would be just to ascribe them to any natural perversity peculiar to the Misses under my care, but you will not fail to perceive, that under such a state of things, my present abode is destitute of every moral attraction which con stitutes the charm of " home." How the system of domestic education ever came to be the choice of a man, too imbecile to control his children if he would, too indo lent to do it if he could, I am utterly at a loss to deter mine. Probably he never troubled himself to weigh the respective merits of the different systems ; and when he has kept his daughters in the school-room the usual number of years, will have as little uncomfortable con sciousness, that they are not altogether as enlightened as is at all essential for the feminine gender. Ten or twelve negroes are accomplishments enough for any lady, where the reputation of wealth, instead of exciting the expectation of finding in its possessor every embel lishment of which mind and manner is susceptible, supersedes the necessity of personal charms and mental culture altogether. " How many vile ill-favored faults look lovely in three hundred pounds a year!" Of the truth of this, the " niece and ward" is a case in point. She is as awkward a red-headed, blear-eyed, freckle- faced looking girl as you would wish to see ; yet she is called ll j)? '-etty" and is beginning to be quite a belle ; and the fortunate winner of this peerless prize will, no doubt, have the reputation abroad of having made the u best match," and married "the smartest woman in the county," and the further satisfaction of finding a slattern and simpleton at home. However, I shall be 3 24 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. greatly obliged to any gentleman who will take this "heiress" of ten thousand off my hands; she is the oldest of my hopeful pupils, and wants a few days of being six months younger than myself. But I would not have Tier know this upon any account ; for then instead of the very dignified pedagogical personage I now appear, I should be only a mere hoyden like her self. I fancy I hear grandmother's " enough without it is better," so take it for granted, I have her permission to devote the remainder of this sheet to your amuse ment ; but must first remind you to acquit me of the blame of " evil-speaking," inasmuch as I did it " on compulsion." Your questions, my dear brother, are neither "trouble some" nor " impertinent ;" on the contrary, I regard them as so many evidences of an inquiring mind, and as such they are truly welcome. My observation is too limited to allow of my pronouncing ex cathedra, upon all your queries ; but I see and hear enough every day to con vince me that in the manner of "local phrases," the " Old Dominion" may compete very successfully with the " Land of the Granite," or rather of " Steady Habits." As proof is better than assertion, I will give a few examples by way of illustration. Just combine nomi natives of every number and person with the third per son singular of the verb if you are not grammarian enough to do this, uncle J. or aunt K. will do it for you and then if you do not " reckon" the arrange ment superior to anything you are acquainted with, it will probably be for want of taste. Ask all questions with "how cum" answer disagreeable ones with "yer got no sense" apply "heap" and "right smart" to LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 25 number, quantity and quality indiscriminately; and I dare say you will like it " mightily" perhaps " mighty well indeed." It has ever been fashionable to graft foreign idioms upon our own meagre vernacular, and the " mother tongue" in this immediate vicinity, ap pears to have been considerably enriched by contribu tions " toted" here, from New Guinea " / reckon" And localisms are not, as at the north, confined almost exclusively to the lower classes ; as near as I can learn, they are common to all, but exclusive to none. The meed of "Hospitality" is doubtless well merited; individuals feel their own honor implicated when this state characteristic is called in question. Still I am in clined to think their much vituperated, and little under stood, system of domestic institutions, has more to do with this reputation than any other cause, or than all other causes put together. Its natural effect is to ex clude the yeomanry, or middling rank in society, and divide the residue into gentry and peasantry. Now should this gentry exercise, individually, no more hospitality, or liberality, than the same number of their compeers in the free states, still an unusual number congregated in a given space gives to that locality an advantage which no other possesses ; and this, I believe, is the true exposition of " Virginia," or " Southern hospitality." The " style of living" differs materially from that of the north, being much more expensive, though, as I think, far less comfortable. Bacon, not bread, is the " staff of life" " fish, flesh and fowl," are made to supply the place of vegetables, most of which are ex cluded from the bill of fare, or placed there merely for show. Everything is boiled or fried beefsteaks not 26 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. excepted and comes to the table swimming in melted lard. Pastry and tea are seldom seen except upon great occasions ; and the coffee is inferior in quality to what might be expected considering it is the constant beverage. Corn meal, cold water, and perhaps a little salt, are the only ingredients of bread ; yet this is bread "par excellence;" that which you are accustomed to see, is denominated "light-bread" and very lightly esteemed I do assure you in this part of the country. Indeed, I believe all Yirginians think no mode of life but theirs, at all entitled to the name of living, and would, I dare say, be more surprised than offended, to find any one who had ever seen that to be of a contrary opinion. However, their excoriated pride would, no doubt, be mollified by the reflection, that a delicate invalid could, at best, be but a very indifferent judge of. culinary affairs, and the probability that a person in robust health would form a very different estimate ; but as the case now stands, they are welcome to my malediction upon the whole kitchen establishment the "melted lard" more particularly. Now in return for all this, I. shall expect grandmother ("honor bright," she instigated the catechism on this head did she not); to retract in due form the sentence so often passed on a certain culprit who shall be nameless, of "having 'eyes and no eyes,' and being so stupid in everything pertaining to cookery, that to the day of her death she would never know whether people lived by eating or not, unless she happened to die of starvation !" She is now bound in common justice to make explicit recantation. I should like, of all things, to see her and some of these Virginia paragons of housewifery, come in collision; till the state, and LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 27 family, and personal pride of each was fully aroused, and see their rising wrath contend with their native dignity and habitual courtesy it would be "one grand scene" worth all the farces ever written. But I can easily predict which side would bear off the honors of war ; one who has a good temper, or a good control of it, has always an advantage on these occasions which practice alone can ne/er give. And some of these Southern ladies (" oh tell it not in Gath"), do some times merely to diversify the monotony of domestic life I suppose get up little whirlwinds and tornadoes of passion which, while they last, would make the in fernal Ate turn pale with affright ; and in north latitude, forty-five, effectually close the doors of respectable society against these amateur representatives of the Furies e.ver after. As this is a well known fact, I trust it is no slander, though it may be gratuitous "evil-speaking;" and while so many lay the "flattering unction to their souls," that such conduct is the natural and irre pressible ebullition of the "Tropical Temperament," I hope an obscure individual, like myself, may occasionally be allowed to " speak forth the words of truth and sober ness," and call things by their proper names. I have long been looking, not on domestic life but into it, and the root of bitterness is there; though this " Tropical influence" is made " the mantle of charity" to cover "a multitude of sins." A broad one it must needs be, to shelter all who take refuge under its folds. Poor Cancer ! His place will soon be no sinecure I fear, un less some moral geographer arises to restore "the ancient landmarks! But when parents suffer their infant children, to vent, without check or restraint, the 28 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. " venom of their spleen," alike on the venerably old and helpless young the lordly master and lowly slave what is to prevent their becoming fierce as the lightning in their hate, ruthless as the sword in their revenge? "Tropical temperament" indeed! Tropical nonsense more like! I tell you it is no such thing; it is want of domestic discipline, and early mental train ing! If it is the fault of nature and climate, how is it that when the season of childhood passes away and traits of character begin to strengthen and deepen, if the "still small voice" of conscience, or the dread laugh of derision, whispers you are miserable, and are mak ing yourself ridiculous, the admonition will be heard and heeded ; to the extent, at least, of repressing the troubled tide of feeling in public, though its waters of bitterness may be lavished in private, on the defenseless heads whose interest it is to conceal the deadly fountain that poisons all their well-springs of existence. People may look vastly wise, and talk immensely silly, as all this rigmarole about "tropical temperament" goes to prove. Where nature makes one intractable, ungovern able temper, mismanagement makes millions; and so you will find, should you live long enough to use your own eyes in preference to those of other people, and ever look beneath the surface of things. I did not intend reading you such a homily, but now I am "in the vein," it may not be amiss to throw out a few hints that will perhaps be of service in after life. On no subject in which woman is concerned, are men more solicitous than to discover the temper of their intended wives ; this is known, consequently on no other are they more liable to be duped. Now if in stead of resorting to the meanness of intriguing with LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 29 intimates and servants, 'or the puerile little strategies whose object is generally detected and of course de feated men would obsej^ve whether young ladies can deny themselves a desired article if necessary, or brook to be disappointed in their schemes, or find themselves second where they expected to be first, without putting themselves into what E. S. used to call " kerniption fits," or practicing any of those half playful, half petu lant airs which gentlemen seem to think so interesting in young, and so odious in old women, they would be apt to come much nearer the truth. The habit of self-government is the thing ; with it, there is little danger that any body but the possessor will be incom moded, be the temper what it may; without it there is no security ! Much seeming gentleness and amiability is all affected much real softness and pliability may be indurated or frittered away, when brought fairly in contact with the harsher realities of life; and much undisputed '''good nature" has no deeper root than gratified selfish ness, and must eventually die for want of sustenance, or be kept alive at the expense of every body but the admired possessor. If a lady has too little self-control to restrict her taste in the purchase of what is to her un- " suitable finery, or the use of it in an improper season if she is too thoughtless to consult any body's feelings or convenience but her own, or too selfish to relinquish any gratification in her power to obtain depend upon it, all her amiability, whether real or assumed, is of the kind that will "perish with the using;" though you may watch till doomsday, if you choose, without witnessing, unless by accident, any palpable outburst of temper. You are not going to see it if it occurs twenty times a day ; for simple as women are, they are generally 30 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. shrewd enough to " fool rnen to the top of their bent" in this matter ; and those who do, will not be so mean, or so disinterested, as to play the informer, at the expense of being considered, by you aud all your asso ciates, as envious rivals or unprincipled slanderers for the balance of their days. Some one who knows how uniformly men treat advice as witches do their prayers (that is to say, "read them backwards''), and is mali cious enough to wish you entangled in the very net against which you are warned, may do it ; but I would hardly be magnanimous enough to tell a gentleman that his inamorata's name was Mary, if he fancied it Jane. However, should I chance to be mistaken about the " Tropics ;" it is to be hoped that you, a child of colder climes, will never become so ardent in imagination, as to suspect my vision of being sufficiently acute to look through a vista of ten x>r fifteen years (not to mention some five hundred miles), and consider these remarks, personal and invidious. This is a very, long and singularly inappropriate letter to a boy ; but you will not always be a child, you know, and the moralizing which seems so dull to you now, may become interesting hereafter ; more especially should the hand that traced it ere then be cold in death. Give my best respects to grandmother, and all who take an interest in my welfare ; tell cousin Anne I have a great curiosity to see how her new name would look at the extreme verge of a sheet of "imperial ;"' but noyankee chicanery about the thing, I am apt to grumble exceedingly at paying postage on blank paper. And if Evelyn and cousin Kate are really going to Ipswich they ought at least to bid me farewell, before they get so learned that it will become necessarv to convene all LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 31 the faculty of "William and Mary's to explain and ex pound, and reduce their epistles to the level of my comprehension. But in future, do not you, my dear brother, say any thing more about " our old place." I knew indeed that some such disposition must be made of it ; but not what exquisite pain it would give me to know that the house of my father had passed into the hands of a stranger. And never, oh never forget, that to me the only charm that hallowed the spot, was the memory of his buried love and the assurance of your living affec tion ! That time and distance may have no power to sever the chain that binds us to each other, is the fervent prayer of your sister, LOUISE. LETTER III. DESULTORY GOSSIP. ... TO J. S., ESQ. Eagle Eyrie, Va., Dec. 20. MY KIND UNCLE : YOUR last has been so long neglected that you may conclude I intend giving it " the go-by" entirely ; but instead of witnessing any such wicked resolve, no single week has passed since its reception, without inflicting the stings of remorse for this sin of omission. The hackneyed excuse, "nothing to write," is all I have to offer; and if that is not a good, I am sure it is a lasting one, and just as true now as ever. I know no 32 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. positive advantage to be derived from the discussion of my " health;" it is rather better than it was, but how can any one expect to be well, where ague-and-fever constitutes (as I believe it does) a part of the air, soil, and climate ? To say the truth, I neither have nor expect ever to have perfect health, so the less said about it the better ; yet without the assistance of some such commonplace topic, full one half this sheet must remain a perfect blank; which, once for all, allow me to say I utterly detest. You probably expect to learn where I shall reside the ensuing year, and I should be glad to know myself; but it will most likely be at some point in the vicinity of New York, which will aiford the advantage of sea breezes. I cannot tell precisely when I shall leave; but expect to remain till spring, and pass most of the inter vening time fulfilling sundry engagements in the visit ing line. In two days more I shall be out of purgatory you good Protestants are wont to sneer at this as fabulous, but I believe there are circumstances under which the most pragmatical might be convinced; and if ever I find it in my heart to imperil my happiness in like manner again, it shall \>efor some object, not merely to prolong an existence so worthless as mine. " Delight- rhl task" indeed ! Thompson would have been glad " to eat his own words," in less than twenty -four hours, by way of reprieve, had he ever submitted them to the test of experiment. At any rate, it is a deliyJit I am very willing to dispense with ; and have not the slightest objection to turning out the oldest of my young " hope fuls," and passing over the residue to the contemptible little son of Bacchus who officiates as music-master in LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 33 the family and neighborhood. If their father chooses to commit the minds, and manners, and morals of his daughters to such a companionship, it is no concern of mine, you know. And after all it makes no difference they are not sent to school to learn, only to be kept out of the way till they are old enough to " come out" and get married. If this is sarcastic, it is truth only that makes it severe. As my direction promises to be precarious after the current year, you will oblige me by requesting Mr. G. to discontinue my subscription until further orders. And if he insists on a literal interpretation of the " arrearages" clause, be so good as to advance whatever may be necessary to release me from its " durance vile;" incurred as follows. This State tolerates nothing less than five dollar bills; and not feeling exactly able to pay five, where only three were required, I inclosed (and sent by private conveyance as far as New York) a quarter eagle and fifty cents in silver, supposing ignorant sinner that I was that no postage would be levied on a communication addressed to a Post-Master, for the residue of the route; but the Post-Office Department had to be sustained, and the unfortunate aforesaid to contribute nearly half its contents -to that laudable object. Don't you think now, I must possess an un commonly forgiving disposition, to be scribbling non sense this very blessed moment, for no earthly use but to increase the revenue ? I have riot heard from Massachusetts for some months, this is partly chargeable, no doubt, to my having allowed Evelyn's last to lie so long " on the shelf." The truth is, I am serving them all to the same sauce they have been treating me with ever since I could remember ; and 34: LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. don't think I should feel any compunctious visitings on that score, if her letter were to lie over till the Fourth of July next. I have a strong notion of giving her a practical illustration of the old adage " it's a poor rule that don't work both ways." But I suspect I am, at best, no great favorite in that quarter; for beside compromising the olden dignity by condescending to enact governess, and being so profanely irreverent as not to make a most profound salaam at every mention of the " Pilgrim Fathers," I had once the effrontery to ridicule some of their scientific machines, yclept "Female Seminaries," and express some apprehension lest the yankee genius of " improvement" should steal a march upon* me, seize the Falls of Niagara and convert them into " a very eligible water privilege'''' before I get a peep at that world of waters and rainbows. Nor is this "the extent of my offending;" for it seems by Stanley's last (they surely keep " a journal where my faults are noted") that some time, " so long since that the memory of man runneth not to the contrary," I had the foolhardiness to assert that "the rocks and streams," " the hills and valleys of New England" were worth more " to point a paragraph and adorn a tale" than anything else; and what was worse, the impertinence to inquire if cousin Anne were in training to canvass votes for the next presidential campaign, that she was so sedulously studying popularity, under madam " the Dominic," and learning of her, the most approved method of playing the hypocrite secundum artem, so as to make domestics, factory girls, and all of that genus, believe, no one ever doubted, that all men (and women too) were born " free and equal !" Of course I never dreamed that this persiflage could offend, but fear it has. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 35 I had almost forgotten to say that the interesting, beautiful, agreeable nondescript, who accompanied me half-way here, called five or six weeks since, ostensibly to see me, but really to get a few days' board and lodging gratis an exploit for which he is eminently qualified by nature and art. He said he was on his way to Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi ; but would return and attend me home if I would remain till April. Really, were I ever so much at a loss for a compagnon du voyage, I should hardly be over hasty in committing my precious self to the care of his worshipful authorship ! Please tender my compliments, and the sight of this valuable evidence that theory does sometimes accord with practice to such of your family as feel inte rested in either ; and accept for yourself much love and many, many thanks for your unremitting kindness to the isolated orphan. LOUISE. LETTER IV. LIGHT AND SHADE. TO A LADT IN VIRGINIA. N. Y., Sepl. MY DEAR MADAM: YOCR kind favor, scrawled all over with post-marks and re-directions, has come to hand at last; and you cannot think how delighted I am that your interest in the erratic wanderer has survived so many months of separation. 36 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. You ask, my dear friend, "Did you revisit your home ?" No, I did not ; there is little there that I wish to behold there is much that I desire not to look upon ! ; The print of stranger footsteps now is in My childhood's haunts ! Dull, cold voices too Are on the summer air, once thrilling through Those halls to tones of mirth, or fond affection. And, oh, they fall like discord on a heart, That was, an instrument attuned at first To sweetest harmony; but made sd soon, And often, to respond to one rude touch, That it can breathe, oh never, never more In music as 'twas wont; but ever And anon, in wild, half-broken tones, Pours forth a requiem sad, to melody Departed ! I might not brook to tread my father's halls. An alien from his doors a stranger on His very hearth ! I could not stand among The spirit's loved and unforgotten scenes The complicated, countless things, that twine Around the heart from childhood up to age Without the passing tribute of a sigh To all I loved, to all I lost; and cold Unsympathizing eyes were there, to bend Upon a brow, whose thoughts are tears A tide too strong for pride to stem, or them to scan. Away, alone, unseen, I turn to weep ! But notwithstanding the "one fatal remembrance,'' I do not always enact Melpomene. There are moments, and those neither few nor far between, when you would suppose me the lineal descendant of Thalia, could you hear my light laugh floating on the breeze, in full chorus with that of the idlest set of vagrants who ever roamed the world in search of summer and sunshine, from the days of Will. Shakspeare, the poacher, till mine. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 37 The season has passed rapidly, and, for the most part, delightfully, scrambling over hedges and ditches, flying from fresh water to salt from salt water to fresh in pursuit of health and butterflies, sea-shells and wild- flowers; and I have caught the goddess though the insect eluded my grasp, and laid up in store bright memories of happiness to illumine the dark vistas of the future, though I failed to preserve a cabinet of curiosi ties to rise up in judgment as proof positive of my vagabond propensities. I fear my cidevant pupils would think me a sad romp could they see me now, that the supernumerary years, to which I had no claim, are dismissed upon parole, and my dignity cashiered for an indefinite period ; while I am rambling " o'er lake and lawn and lea," happy in the conscious ability to revel in their respective beauties, unmolested by a learned lecture on the propriety of " toting" about an ugly stone or hideous reptile because it' happens to have an uglier name. Through the mag nificent drapery which invests creation, I behold radia tions of that Divinity which presides over all ; every item in its folds is a gem of worth, a thing of fair flow ers or soft fragrance, of bright leaves and gorgeous coloring worthy to be the work of a God! But if name in the place of feeling the varnish of art for the gloss of nature words, mere words subversive of thought, must be allowed to cast their blighting spell on the fair flower's loveliness if it must be botanized, and analyzed, and sentimentalized, take it away it is no longer the peerless little gift of a munificent Creator ; you have degraded it to a thing of art, and forms, and names (one can hardly spell, and whose pronunciation 449315 38 LETTEES AND MISCELLANIES. I never expect to achieve) you -are welcome to your handiwork take it away ! - Thank fortune, I am now free to abuse the encyclo pedia and "king's English" to my heart's content; for, " heaven help our worthy chaperons, they are by far the wildest of the party, and there is neither botanist, nor naturalist, nor journalist among us ; nor do I believe the whole posse comitatus could produce an album on pain of excommunication from caste ? While there is no " chiel amang us takin' notes," there is no danger of being " written down," so every one is free to " gang his own gait" and enjoy himself after his own fashion ; and " the saddest emotion our bosom e'er knows is pity for those who are wiser than we;" more especially for poor hag-ridden mortals who are all their lifetimes in bondage to a set of outlandish fellows called Murray, Blair, Walker, Kaimes, and so on ad infinitum. It can't be denied but this life of ours does approximate rather nearly to the savage state ; but then I always did feel a decided predilection for that, whenever either of the aforesaid clansmen, albums, or botanists crossed my path. It seems to me they have no business in such a glorious world as this, where the hand of Omnipotence has inscribed a poetry of its own, that leaves its records on the heart. Let the flying tourist and enervate wan derer in steamboats and carriages pass its nobler pas sages are too recherche for him, they must be felt as well as seen, loved before they can be appreciated but let him who will, tarry till the spirit of the place has passed into his heart and lives again in his song ! Till then let Genius stand reproved in the majesty of a Supe rior Presence, and Art retire humbled and abashed LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 39 from the scene ere the spirit of Beauty mock and deride his impotent efforts to copy her works or embody her loveliness.. You think me an enthusiast on the scenery of New York ; but the cradle of my infancy, the home of my childhood, it is no common spot ; and though from the very hearthstone of my father, there breathed the sirocco of a desert heart on his child, it could not wholly blight a spirit alive to the bland and invigorating influence of nature, as exhibited in her earth and her skies : and with these I could ever hold communion when told that the avenues of human sympathy were closed against me! It may be that this faculty too was given for my bane well be it so if the pleasure to which it gives birth be as evanescent as exquisite, the better the reason I should haste to enjoy while I may ! But a day like this sadly disconcerts the scheme and forces me to reflect on my own gorgeous life-visions, prematurely dissipated a noble brother, "my beautiful, my brave," sacrificed on the shrine of avarice and unnatural preju dice ; and, worse than all, the nothing I have done the little I can ever do, to redeem the promise of the child to the sleeping infant. The very effort seems like the osier instructing the oak how to keep the perpendicu lar ! Yet it shall be made, though all my untold, un- sated powers of enjoyment, should be molten down into one stern power to suffer and endure ; for henceforth it is not in the cloud or the storm that I look to feel the full bitterness of my doom. When the meridian sun lavishes his beams, unconscious that one human heart is breaking in a world irradiated by his smile when the " electric chain is struck mid the garish splendor of the 4 40 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. festal hall then, then it is that I shall realize how sad it is to feel the winter of age settling down forever on the heart, while the first summer of youth is yet bright on my brow ; and think how much more desolate had been the lone, lone dwellers of the ark, had they returned to find a depopulated world rejoicing in its young luxu riance and wearing its accustomed garniture. But no Nature in all her wide domains was mourning for her hap less children, the glorious, though degenerate- " sons of God and daughters of men," and in that silent sympathy there was companionship. Yet oh, how little is there of it, where the votaries of fashion and pleasure most love to congregate how few of all, who " flatter, smile, and woo," can bide the "dark hour" or listen to the querulous accents of despondence without hinting, that if there be " but one step between the sublime and ridiculous," there is less than one between the senti mental and lackadaisical : few, indeed, " and by con flicting powers forbidden here to meet," or I should not now resort to a medium like this, and feel how inade quate is the channel to convey the full, deep tide of thought. " The gods avert" all such " accurst familiars," " thick coming fancies, and exquisite sensibilities from you and yours, is the earnest wish of your incongruous " two-souled" friend, LOUISE. FAREWELL TO A FRIEND. Thou \vilt " go home" then speed thy way, Ifo voice of mine shall bid thee " stay;" Though years may pass, nor bring a smile So soft as thine so free from guile. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 41 The shades of home what flowers more fair Can earth display than blossom there ? Say, wilt thou there, the mem'ry keep Of her, who has no home to seek ! Sept. 25. ISOLE. LETTER V. 'ADYICE AND REMONSTRANCE, * j ' * , TO A BROTHER. a , N. Y., May, 1833. MY DEAR BROTHER: I HAVE just received a letter from Evelyn, in which she speaks of your recent meeting and the wish you then expressed to hear from me oftener. Rest assured it is not indifference that holds my hand, or neglect that restrains my pen : " My brother! Though my heart is cold And tame, to what 'twas wont to be; Still to the music of thy name Vibrates one chord, which yet is free From the benumbing influence Which hath in torpor wrapped each sense. The only heart that ever turned With undiminished love to mine Which never my affection spurned; But loves me still is thine ! And oh, how sweet to know that yet In this cold world is beating still, One heart, which will not mine forget Though darkly rise the clouds of ill : But thou, my brother thou, whose path A sister's fondness deemed would be Far from the sullen gloom which hath 4:2 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Long o'er her own formed heavily The promise of whose gifted mind I've marked with all a sister's pride; Deeming the riches there enshrined Would mock thy power to hide That yet, around thy cherished name, Some future day of pride should see The fresh and fadeless wreath of fame Entwined eternally : Oh, must these dreams be vain, and thou Be doomed to share so dark a fate; And thy aspiring spirit bow, And droop beneath misfortune's weight ? Ah no, a milder doom be thine, A brighter star arise for thee; Then shall my spirit not repine Whate'er my destiny! If bright, or dark, it matters not, Few look with interest on my lot; For I am one, whose memory Soon dies within the hearts of others; I care not it is nought to me So I but live in thine, my brother's! If cold oblivion's breath should sweep From hearts I love all trace of me, Oh, still in thine, my brother, keep Uudimmed, the memory of one, To whom this world could never give A dearer hope to rest upon, Than this :" But who would rather sacrifice even this, than the hope, so long and so fondly cherished, of one day seeing your name enrolled among the noble, the wise, and the mighty of the land. Say not this is an enthusiast's dream it must be ful filled. I know it will cost much exertion what of that does your present employ promise a life of indo lent repose ? I know there are difficulties to encounter, obstacles to remove they must be met, firmly and LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 43 fearlessly ! I also know, that I ain sinning, past hope of absolution, against the dictates of "common pru dence" what then ? Should I call down the anathe mas of all her votaries, on my own reckless ambition, shall I be lightly turned, think you, from a purpose, I would give all but the fee-simple of my soul to accom plish ? You know it is not in the nature of " things possible 1" Your prospective career has roused even Evelyn from her torpor Tier lethargy is over the "iron gyves," which ill-judging kindness bound round every faculty of her nature, are fallen off she stands up once more, in the native dignity of a mind regenerated, re deemed, disenthralled ! And most nobly has she come forward to break down, with her own hand, the barrier which an indiscriminating and unjustifiable partiality strove to erect between her and her nearest of kin 1 Let no allusion of ours recall its existence. True, the im pressions of a lifetime are not to be effaced at will ; but if we cannot forget, let us remember only to love and admire the true nobility of soul that would not be debased! Many a one that rises the prouder for the conflict with oppression might utterly succumb under the enervating influence of inertia and weak indulgence ; but such a one is not she in any plan that can be de vised for your benefit, her co-operation is certain, yours only is doubtful. If that is not wanting, I care not now with whose opposition I may have to contend; but I recoil, with the cold, sickening sensation of despair, from the apprehension that you may shrink from the necessary exertion that your once lofty spirit may have become assimilated to your lowly destiny. But no, it is not, cannot be so ! Evelyn speaks of your " manly form and sedate aspect," and I know the source of such 44 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. premature gravity all too well, not to believe that youth ful brow, " so calm yet sad," a better index to your heart, than your tongue ever was, when it reported you "contented" (for shame!) and "cheerful" in the condi tion to which a narrow-minded policy has consigned you. I know not in whose sagacity that measure origi nated ; but I do know I had rather that man had gone to the grave than my darling brother to the anvil. Be he who he.may, he shall find " I bide my time" and will not always brook to be thwarted in my purpose ! I love you, dear Stanley, and always shall, be your occupation what it may ; but I cannot bear to see you sacrificed thus! I cannot endure the idea that my father has no son to give back to the world that promise of pre-eminent usefulness and ornament which sleeps in his early grave! You bear his name, will you make no effort to rescue it from oblivion? Eesolve that you will, and that resolve will be a prophecy that shall work its own fulfillment. It requires no small moral courage, I know, for a boy like you to act in open defi ance of the express will and pleasure of those he has been accustomed to honor and obey ; but when ascen dency over the mind of a child is made the instrument of his oppression it is time it should cease. State your feelings and intentions modestly but firmly ; then if you find them ultimately disapproved, give the dis sentient to understand, that by " advice" people some times mean concurrence; and that you do not consider asking a man's opinion a positive promise to abide by his decision. If Mr. D. is the gentleman you and Evelyn represent him, there will be no opposition on his part; but if Shylock-like, he insists on " the letter of the bond," his LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. 45 pound he must have time is of more value to you than money. Settle it in your own mind that nothing shall deter you from your purpose, and Industry, ardent, in flexible and untiring, will bring it to a successful issue. "With such splendid names as Franklin, Jefferson, Chancellor Kent, and William Wirt, inscribed by its hand on the page of your country's history, say if you can that my scheme is chimerial, my expectation hope less ! But as familiar examples are always most potent, allow me to remind you, that the distinguished Prof. S is said once to have learned the tanner and cur rier's trade; and your much, and justly admired Mr. E. that which you are now acquiring. They had no in centive of an honorable name on the wane; yet where are they now? " What man has done man may do" so do not sit down and compile a volume of excuses for inaction ; nor is it at all essential for you to soil any fair white paper endeavoring to convince me, that to you, especially, the path to all honorable distinction is perfectly inaccessible. I shall not be persuaded any more than yourself! Up then and be doing, or 3 r ou will lose both time and labor. What if the hill of science be steep and high the ascent toilsome and difficult " know ledge is power," and the acquisition paramount to the exertion. Assertions to the contrary are, in my opinion, nothing more than the " It is naught, it is naught," of the buyer, or the u sour grapes" of the disappointed aspirant. But whatever else you may do, do not waver and hesitate and procrastinate till it is indeed too late. I have taken this preliminary off your hands. Two years of doubt and indecision are enough to waste upon any subject, and I have bestowed more than that on the one before you. 46 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. What if you should suppose I overrate your talents, does it follow of course that iny estimate is incorrect ? You will neither respect me more, nor love me better, when 1 say that in years that are passed, I have often excited and exasperated you to the utmost, in order to see what stamina you were of but it is even so I have 'done this, and the result was perfectly satis factory: you are fully adequate to the task imposed. What ! shall men cast out upon the world in the very hour of their birth, indebted even to charity for the very names by which they designate themselves, shall they reach forth their hands and grasp the highest honors their country can give ; and will you, gifted with the might of intellect, lie down in contented obscurity, and suffer the thick-coming clouds of oblivion to envelope all your name and race? My brother! I de sire nothing of you I would not gladly perform myself I ask you to encounter no difficulty I would not grapple with fearlessly, yes joyfully ! I urge you to no effort it would not be my pleasure and pride to accomplish , if I only might. Might I but write Louis instead of Louise, then should my hand and foot soon be "in that stern strife which leads to life's high places ;" but this may not be upon you devolves the right to become your father's worthy successor in more than name. Nerve your spirit to this, bring every faculty, moral and physical, to bear upon this point, and it will be attained. Never stop though to quarrel with me for giving every body's thoughts a tongue, in rating a trade as inferior to a liberal profession. I do assure you, I never made the world, but merely took it as I found it; and shall never dream of setting up for a reformer unless furnished with most authentic credentials of my divine mission. As LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 47 these are not forthcoming, the world will e'en have to "go on as it used to do when it was a boy;" for I have no intention of giving it my supervision. Above all let no pecuniary considerations distress you ^ Evelyn has avowed her intention of " eating u'o longer the bread of idleness," and you know when once de cided she is fixed as the north star. She will soon " leave school, and go south, or west, to see if she can turn her acquirements to any account." In no case will she "any longer appropriate to her own exclusive use, funds which should be common to all; though if you accept, she will still receive them, and thus cajole his wisdom, the executor, who has the impertinence to sup pose that minors cannot possibly have arrived at "years of discretion." /hold it a specially wise and merciful interposition of Providence that law and lawyers have been raised up conferring it, at a, certain age, on some people who might otherwise never have attained it at all. The minimum of our father's estate, which was, you know, assigned to me, has long been devoted, in thought, to this object; what better use can you make of your share? It is not capital enough to establish you se curely in any lucrative business; but I have ascertained from the best authorities, that one with your resources at command, is amply furnished for a professional as well as collegiate course. Think calmly of all this, and weigh well your advantages before you weakly de termine to reject them. Evelyn intimates that you report yourself as " very deficient in penmanship," by way of excuse for being so idle a correspondent ; if this be so, why the greater the need for practice the wider the field for cultivation, 5 48 LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. the more imperious the necessity that impels you on ward. Never let your aversion to anything get the mastery of your better judgment. Are you a man, and succumb to such a womanly weakness? Brother of mine, and suffer the iron heel upon your neck to grind you forever in the dust ? Son of your father, and lie down in hopeless apathy and imbecility, when all that is noble and endearing in life, call upon you to awake to the sleepless energy of thought ? Your own and eyer affectionate SlSTEB. ELEGIAC LINES. LET others trace the obsequious line Along the marble's cold expanse; The only eyes that ever spoke to mine Affection's tale in every glance ; The only voice whose accents never fell Like discord on my youthful ear The only breast whose gentle swell Told what a fount of love was welling near ; The one loved hand that oft clasped mine, Or lay in silent blessing on my head; My noble father, these were thine, And thou, hast long been with the dead. I know thy smile was all the light That lay upon my pathway here: But words vain words on marble, will they Wake the sleeper in the sepulcher ? Let others trace the hackneyed line, And measure grief by rules of art ; Thy mem'ry hath a holier shrine, 'Tis graven deeper on the heart: LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 49 And ruthless time shall never sweep From mem'ry's page one trace of thee, Nor chill the love that bends to weep O'er all it lost in losing thee. Sleep on I would not have thee heed Of sorrowing heart and weary lot the tale, That stranger eyes oft turn to read In my dim eye and cheek so deadly pale. 'Twould shade thy angel brow to learn How lowly is thy children's lot ; How fondly e'en in youth they yearn For that blest home where care comes not. Still! be thou still! I would not break The silence that should linger here- Sleep on sleep on I would not wake The dreamer in this lowly sepulcher ! Aug., 1833. LETTER VI. SUPPLEMENT TO THE PRECEDING ONE. o N.Y..NOV. 1833. DEAR STANLEY: THE offer of a private conveyance induces me to com mence a hasty reply to your last, though it is " past ten," and my health scarcely equal to late hours after social excitement ; but when your interest is at stake, mental and physical exhaustion, should alike be for gotten ; what are they, when laid in the balance with aught that can minister to your pleasure, or your profit? Your last, my dear brother, has given me more pleasure than I had experienced for months before its 50 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. reception ; for it tells me what I most desired to learn. Thank God, your mind is not bowed down to the level of your fortunes you "do feel their degradation" though you " fear every effort to escape, would only ensure a mortifying defeat 1" But let me ask you my dear brother, do you expect to shelter yourself behind your dark doctrine of " Fate," and silence the restless spirit in your own bosom, and the untiring remonstrance of your far off sister, with " It is my destiny ?" Be lieve it not, while the free spirit God has given con tinues to animate your form, it will rebel against the tyranny that is trampling its aspiring energies in the dust. Hope it not, when the clods of the valley lie heavy on a heart that beats only for you, the voice that now implores you to be just to yourself, will be silent forever, but not till then will I relinquish the one hope that has long been my sole guiding star, through all the dark maze of a wayward existence. I know nothing of the piratical worthy you quote; but as to his -gift of second sight, excuse me if I am not quite an audacious misbeliever! His talents had no doubt been denied their legitimate exercise, until the fever of the heart grew, as it often does, almost to mad ness ; and then he brooded over the history of piracy, till the charm which danger always flings round hazardous enterprise was converted into a "spell;" and the deluded victim of a distempered fancy, took the most efficient means of accomplishing his own high destiny. The same causes would, in nine cases out of ten. undoubtedly produce the same effect; at least I see nothing mysterious in this thing called second sight to puzzle the learned or unlearned withal ! It seems to me neither more nor less than the phospho- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 51 rescence emitted by the oscillations between genius and madness ; and what is there so very inexplicable in all that? There are other mental phenomena which would, if well considered and only a little less common, seem equally strange: as, for instance, how any one that is sane can expect to continue so, if he persists in forcing his brain into an unnatural channel, and denying it its proper and essential aliment. A fish, or a bird might do better in some other element, but I doubt it; at all events rivers do sometimes run clear, but who ever saw a canal that did ? I can tell you what I have seen though, and that was, an amalgam of wounded pride, reserve, and irresolu tion, vainly trying to shuffle off all responsibility upon " destiny '/" but never tell me again that you " were not 'born" to emulate the honored Sons of Industry and In tellect. What if they have achieved "an eminence so lofty," I do not insist that you shall hurl them from spheres which are filled, nobly and well. I am glad to hear you acknowledge their supremacy; for, in these days, when every one is trying to take precedence of his betters, it is no small merit to know one's place and keep it; but are you quite sure you have found yours? Never fear though, that I intend nominating you for the presidency this year, or next it is not the proper time but I do intend to convince you that your present occupation is one in which you can never hope to be happy, or even contented. This ought to be easily done, after your own admission that " you were always averse to the business," that it "is not congenial to your taste, and becomes every day more and more irksome to your feelings ;" because you are conscious of " gradually descending lower and lower in the scale 52 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. of social and intellectual beings." And yet you pause, and fear ! Why not hope ? And how, with such a con fession on your lips, will you parry the question, or excuse, even to yourself, the unmanly weakness of re maining a moment longer than necessary, in a thraldom so degrading ? You cannot, you will not ! Mr. D. certainly merits all your encomiums ; " when self the balance shakes, 'tis rarely right adjusted," and even I must admit that his proposition is not only liberal, but expedient. I had forgotten, until he sug gested it, that " a sudden change from active to seden tary life, might injure your health and prove ruinous to our schemes." Let your improvement of the time and advantages placed at your disposal, evince that his generosity has not been lavished on an undeserver. Use them, my dear brother, as if every moment lost were a fortune squandered. It is, I know, unwelcome advice which says to youth absent yourself from the young and gay, and therefore I will not give it; but attach yourself closely to books, and you will find that happiness does not consist in the noisy mirth of rude associates. To me, the most exceptionable feature in Mr. D 's plan, is, that it must necessarily detain you another year or more in New England ; for, in sober earnest, I do dread your " falling unawares" into the yankee custom from time immemorial; namely, entering into the most important contract in your power to make, one too, which cannot be annulled without forfeiture of your reputation as an honorable man, at an age when the law nullifies pecuniary transactions, on account of u immaturity of judgment." These "long engagements" are objectionable in every point of view; they hang like dead weights on any enter- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 53 prise that requires the undivided energies of character, are generally contracted with a man's, or rather a boy's equal, if not superior, in years ; and eventually become irksome to one party in proportion as their perpetuity is indispensable to the happiness of the other. I did not remain quite long enough in Yirginia, to imbibe the southern notion, that a man should be old enough for his wife's father, neither do I give in to the New Eng land system (as elucidated by practice), that it is imma terial which has the seniority. "21 n'y a que New York que toujours la raison;"* a man should be older than his wife; though, were I lawgiver, ten years should be about the limit of disparity. Here at the north, jive would answer; but a few years more or less are not so important after all, as some other matters. Now you cannot expect free admission into your former and appropriate circle, yet no member 'of any other can be to you a desirable companion, least of all a female. Some there may be, beautiful in person and fascinating in manner; but were they well-born, intelligent, refined, pure and high-minded, as the companions of my brother should be, they would not be found in a subordinate sphere. But allowing the lady to be the sublimated essence of all feminine attraction, a matrimonial en tanglement, whether near or more remotely prospective, would in your case, prove the death blow to all lofty aspiration ; and you would, when too late, hate the in nocent cause of your blighted hopes, with an intensity, bitter as shame, disappointment, and crushed ambition could engender ! But enough of this I fear you have already had a It is only New York that is always in the right. 54 LETTEES AND MISCELLANIES. surfeit of good advice, so to change the subject, allow me to say how much I was gratified by the improvement evinced in your last. With the exception of a few grave errors in orthography, and some trifling ones in punctua tion and direction the latter intended to be quizzical, I suppose, though the exterior is not exactly the place for such things the matter and manner of the whole would have been creditable to almost any one. Indeed I was quite amused at the sang-froid with which you state your grievances, and inquire "where I picked up so much outlandish lingo" why among beaux, novels, newspapers, and such like good company where else do you suppose? You know very well that I know nothing in fact of la langue Francois ; but must not expect me to mend my ways, or regret all the study " these pestilent phrases" have cost you. Did it never occur to you that they were inserted for that very purpose, not for display, or to exercise the yankee pre rogative of "guessing?" The sentinels on the ram-, parts of the " King's English" do, to be sure, declaim, as becomes them, in a style of lofty invective against having the immaculate purity of vernacular corrupted by these foreign interlopers ; but I am not responsible for their introduction, and now that they are admitted, it is nearly as necessary they should be made to pass for exactly what they are worth, and no more, as to know that two and two make four. As a sojourner among " the everlasting yankee nation," it is reasonable to suppose you have an extra horror of impostors, wooden nutmegs, and other abomi nations; so compassionating your situation, I insert, in * a pocket lexicon, a leaf from "Webster's Spelling-book, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 55 which will assist in unmasking a few of these formid able incognitse. The former, I know, you will value more as my gift, than for its 'own intrinsic beauty or value, but permit me to remind you that it is designed for use, not show, and entreat, that henceforth you. will suffer no word with whose orthography, and import, you are not thoroughly au fait, to escape you, until both are indelibly impressed on your memory. If you were to keep a common -place book, and transcribe, in a legible hand, every word and definition for which you had oc casion to look, you would soon find the habit beneficial in more ways than one. Among other things, it would insure some little practice in penmanship ; and should your next specimen exceed the last, as much as that did its predecessor, I shall soon have occasion to blush for such a heathenish looking scrawl as this. I am some thing mortified as the case now stands, and can sympa thize very feelingly with your " stiff fingers ;" mine will not readily relax after this long contraction. Past twelve, so good night, and pleasant dreams to you, my dear brother. Votre Swur LOUISE. EPITHALAMIUM. WRITTEN FOE A YOUNG FRIEND. Now joy be thine, my noble brother, For thou hast won a gifted bride ; And the heart that never loved another Is throbbing fondly at thy side. The charm of youth may not endure, Earth's finest gold has some alloy; But that trusting heart, so high and pure, Is wealth and thine I give thee joy! 56 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. LETTER VII. METAPHYSICS AND OTHER VAGARIES. H. Mass., Jan., 1834. DEAK EVELYN: A LITTLE gossip or nonsense is, you know, very re freshing, but the duplicate is intolerable; so I shall abandon "interesting items" to the regular residents, throw the reins to my good steed, La Plume, and just follow wherever its mother instinct leads. You ask for a portrait of your friend a careless out line is all I can give and should that displease, you must blame the curiosity that procured a bad likeness, not the unskillful limner. She talks, I think, less non sense than most people and that is no small compli ment, considering that she talks all the time has some amusing, but no bad, and many estimable qualities, for which I esteem her highly. And then, again, she piques herself upon some others \vhich she has not; firmness of character, for instance, to which a weather- vane has just as much pretension, and rather more, for that does stand still when it rusts down. She looks upon all young ladies as her special pro teges, and an admirable chaperone she would make, for that is her forte; but having assumed the style and title of governess long before my schoolmates came out, she must excuse me from addicting myself to leading- strings just now. Yet none the less for that do I feel obliged by the interest she takes in my welfare, despite a lurking suspicion that it is given chiefly to your sister / and a little owing perhaps to my being such a gem of a listener. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 57 But, give up Shakspeare, and Walter Scott, with all their world of bright imaginings cut the acquaintance of Bulwer and his most magnificent villains see noth ing charming in Halleck be blind to the beauties of Irving, and Cooper, and Sedgwick, and " Paulding the witty" no, I can't think of the thing! Nobody but a father or husband should ever control me in this, and in the latter case, I think any sensible legislature would grant a divorce. So you see mine is a hopeless case I am quite incorrigible ! " "Illusions! illusions! exclaims the philosopher yes ILLUSIONS ; but without them, how many would know nothing of life but its real misery ! " Thank you, friend author, whoever you are, and don't doubt but you are a much better philanthropist than those would-be- philosophers, who are perpetually railing at the splendid creations of human intellect, as if it were disparaging to the nature of man, and totally beneath his dignity to be amused for a moment with anything, however plausible or ingenious, that does not stand the test of mathematical demonstration. With what contemptuous pity does one of these "Sir Owls" look down from his fancied elevation on the deluded mortal who honestly believes the world has enough of cloudy weather, with out his casting the shade of a frowning brow over its little remaining sunshine. Yet I, for one, believe these arrogant pretenders to superior wisdom and sanctity, as deficient in real benevolence and genuine taste, as are their opposites in prudence and sound judgment; and that all this affected scorn for the flights of imagination, is only in fair guerdon for the neglect with which that fantastic divinity has been pleased to treat their wor shipful selves. 58 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. What better reason can be assigned for the boorish contempt with which the finely imaginative doctrine of the transmigration of souls is almost universally treated? But is absurdity its only characteristic? Is there nothing sublime in the spectacle of an immortal mind groping through the dark mists of superstition for the day-spring of that light which, though emanating from heaven, was still too faint to show clearly the way to its portals? Is it strange that eyes dim with "hope deferred," should be dazzled even to blindness, by the flash of that other light which is ever too prone to lead astray? Is there no redeeming feature in a system whose exceeding beauty can at times make the wisest and best almost wish to revert to the darkness of pagan ism, and revel unmolested in those glorious dreams which constitute much of that ^buoyancy of spirit which invests the past with happiness, the present with hope, the future with promise ! The duration of these splendid visions is commonly limited to the period of early youth ; but why should they be so evanescent, unless it is, that the scenes of another and brighter sphere, are fresher and greener in the heart, before the dull clouds of reality have obscured the soft light of memory, which sheds its halo of un earthly brightness over every dim-remembered scene of that hallowed home: and the weary eye, closing on this every-day world and its commonplace beings and vicissitudes, gathers new brightness from the gorgeous sunlight that illumes every remembered vista in that far-off but unforgotton land, whose inhabitants, not " of earth, earthy," have something higher, and holier, and brighter, and purer, than ever meets the gaze of the bewildered exile in this dull creation, where every trace LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 59 of its pristine splendor seems fast waning to disappear ?* Who has never been startled from such a revery per chance by the accents of his dearest earthly friend nor felt that the foot of a mortal had "profaned the haunt of the fairies ?" And what right has one individual to dictate to another, and lay an interdict on every train of thought that does not accord precisely with his pre conceived opinions or peculiar temperament ? He who can find " a local habitation and a name " for his edi fices on terra firma, is welcome there to erect them, if so he please ; but what business has he to hinder his neigh bor from building his "castles in the air," when he has nowhere else to put them ? "Let saints interdict, and let sages revile The sportive creations that fancy supplies ; Oh, still let her baseless enchantments beguile,. And veil the bleak prospect of truth from my eyes. " When realities torture 'tis wise to forget When sorrows assail us, to fly from their sting ; For fancy can soften the sigh of regret And bear us from anguish on fairy-formed wing. " Then still let the fancied enjoyments you spurn Snatch me from the horrible grasp of despair ; I escape from my sorrows too soon to return, And frenzy's a kinder impostor than care ! " But a word in your ear, my dear sister ; as you hope never to realize the full force of that last line, let no living illustration of Locke's Theory of Ideas ever get *If this is "like Wordsworth," perhaps the writer ought to feel flat tered, if she doesn't ; but any author she Jias read, is welcome to take pencil and mark his property wherever lie can find it; it is more than she can always do. 60 LK'ITKKS AND MISCELLANIES. hold of this ; otherwise the will and power being com mensurate I should have to grace the saloons of an In sane Hospital, or advocate the cause of mental halluci nation before the inmates of a Lunatic Asylum in future ! However, "one song to thee" before I go; and we'll call it THAT OTHER HOME. I PINE for the land of my early dreams, And scenes not dimly remembered then : They were gorgeous things, those skies and streams, Their like is not found 'mid the haunts of men. There were flowers no thought of Death on their leaves, Fair forms, and " time th' avenger " rifled not I Gales that were music, no tempest could mar, For the genius of peace had hallowed the spot. Fond hearts were there, but had not learned to grieve O'er all the heart most dearly learns to prize; N"or how neglect, the soul's worst frost can freeze : They basked but in the light of loving eyes. They called not Hope, the ignis fatuus, there, But a gentle vision whom all might bless; Despite the meteor's shadowy air, They knew that mystic light was happiness. I know not the crime that banished me thence, 1 know not that home, I may ever regain; But I know, vague dreams have haunttd me since, Of a home, I roam o'er this earth for in vain. VALE. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 61 **, LETTER VIII. STRICTURES ON SECTARIAN CREEDS, ("Take iu broken doses.") TO 8. J. 8. O , N. Y., June, 1834. MY DEAR BROTHER: YOURS, per bearer, is received ; and "Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying!" But don't trouble yourself, or don't flatter yourself (which is it), Master, or Mr., or whatever it 's proper to call you ; for I con sider myself honestly "engaged" to you; and haven't the remotest idea of giving you a " free pass," or turn ing you over to another governante until you are at least five and twenty and fairly established in life. For the rest, you couldn't possibly have stumbled on a worse casuist to decide those vexed polemic questions, than one who, as yet, lacks a long way of having waded out of their troubled waters herself. But, " do I remember those everlasting Sabbath- days" (I suppose you are not heathenish enough to say Sundays), " and their hopeful twin-brother, that inter minable old catechism ?" Do I ? Well, thank fortune, I have outgrown the verbiage of the latter, at last, and may be I don't remember the concomitants ; but it strikes me I could name a few. Imprimis : Long prayers and ample grace to very sanctimonious breakfasts ; next, protracted "sittings" over Sunday-school lessons, relieved at last thanks to the real or supposed anti-soporific Dill by a flying trip to the garden ; invariably pre faced with the injunction " see that you go straight there, and mind you don't go anywhere else," and ~ ** * &2 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. accompanied by the moral certainty, that a pair of hard, uupitying eyes were watching every step of your pro gress, lest the temptation to abduct a rose, or bear off a violet surreptitiously, should prove too strong for poor, unregenerate^ childish human nature to resist. Third, sitting, prim and demure as forty old tabby cats rolled into one, through the whole morning service, wondering if the preacher ever would get done, and the majority of the adult congregation disperse, in time for you to swallow a bit of dry cake, or crackers and cheese, before the residue took you in to Sunday School I mean and Fourth : Long, dry recitations and longer prayers, spun out, on purpose as I used to think, to prevent wicked little juveniles from braving the possibility of detection and the certainty of its penal consequence, by stealing off to some interdicted establishment whose owners were not too " unco gude" to " break the Sabbath," by drawing an extra bucket of water for poor famishing children. Fifth: evening service and a race home, to bolt dinner and supper all under one, like any boa con strictor, for fear of being too late for the five o'clock discourse. Sixth : Third service and another hurry home to strip off and put away your Sunday finery before you got too sleepy to attend to it ; and then oh horror of horrors ? the "Shorter catechism !" " Shorter than what" you wonder, and so do I; though as you say, " one might possibly contrive to live through it so long as there was anything more to learn, and he didn't care one solitary fig whether it meant anything or nothing;" but this being compelled, for week after week and year after year, to repeat what is so revolting to the stomach of one's sense, "after he is perfect to a demisemiquaver, letter, and comma, is more than mor- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 63 tal man can endure " (right only a child has to endure it ;) more especially if, whenever he chance to nod, or be suspected of doing so, he should find himself straight ened up by a rousing box on one ear, and the balance of power preserved by the simultaneous application of a counteracting tendency on the other ; bestowed with a hearty good-will, grace, and dexterity which nothing but long practice can give. You, who were so early removed to gentler auspices, escaped this phase of the infliction, though my head aches to this very hour with the recollection (or conse quence ;) but isn't the whole Sunday system most beau tifully contrived to illustrate the meaning of a " day of rest ; " and charmingly calculated to inspire children and youth with intense affection for the day and its Maker, and the religion in whose joint names all this childish martyrdom is perpetuated ? I, for one, can safely testify to having long suspected the latter of being neither more nor less than a prime invention for gratifying the domineering disposition of our elders, by furnishing them with a standing pretext for admon ishing, be-lecturing, browbeating and snubbing their juniors on all occasions. And as for that same "West minster catechism, I hadn't a doubt, in those days, that it emanated directly from the " bottomless pit," on purpose to torment us poor children. 70 LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. Did you ever see the like, friend Public? "strictures' pages and all among the missing ! No, NEVER ! No, nor anybody else, unless it was the poor soul that had one wife pulling out all the gray hairs, and another waging a war of extermination against the black ones. Here's one publisher, now, wants us that is, the " sperrit" and the "medyum" to be young and fashionable, say beside, and such like prim - ities insists on divorcing us from our first love and marrying us to that degenerate Yankee, Noah Webster, (though we like honest old Sam Johnson a thousand times better,) and the other has heard of such obsolete antiquities as post scripts and perorations. And then they both are of opinion, that, after all the weakness and wickedness, the pragmatics and absurdities with which the church has been edifying the world for the last eighteen centuries, you have not yet got true Chris tian meekness and good sense enough extant, to tolerate a little "sarcastic levity of tongue" in just such an off-hand, fear less and free showing up of their effects, as chanced to emanate, some nineteen or twenty years since, from the "gray goose- quill" of a writer still young enough to wield it without glasses. Is your majesty of the nineteenth century such a graceless, good-for-naught, such a snarling efo^r-matical, that you can't possibly endure a little spicy though more playful than spiteful effervescence of youthful waywardness and mature asceticism? No, we don't believe a word of it that must be scandalum magnatum! A pretty figure you'd cut now, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 71 wouldn't you, trying to get up a scene, and not a single anathema on band to hurl against book, they having all been appropriated to author long ago, and when even sur vivors and fac similes of those who, in default of the virtue which "believeth all things," tried so hard to superinduce that phase which "endureth all things," must have seen that, after all, her %/i/-artillery was never intentionally aimed at anything more sacred than their own ex cathedra fulminations, and the " wood, hay and stubble," which, alas ! too often repel when it would be much wiser to attract those, at least, whose mental optics cannot see why it should be so very wrong for poor sinners to laugh at the saints' "sanctified" airs and faces, and so very right for them to rail at their quizzical ones so much worse for the ungodly to sneer upon their own responsibility, than for the righteous to " curse in the name of the Almighty;" nor why Christians of every name with their mouths all full of humble confessions, and " brotherly love," shouldn't be as civil to the world and each other as was the old Roman heathen to his prisoner, whom he told that much learning had made him mad, instead of taunting him with ignorance, imbecility or sinister design, because his views and feelings, principles and practice hap pened to run counter to his own. However, anything rather than "cause a brother to of fend," or evince himself no better Christian now than we were then ; so, if it really be such a flagrant breach of 72 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Christian charity for us to show up, after our own fashion, just how much and how little we ever did deserve to have the gentle epithets, "Atheist," "Infidel," "Reprobate" and "unpardonable sin" forever dinned (and boxed) into our luckless ears ; and how little even the most honest par tisan of any creed is " doing God service " by setting the example of calling names, because he cannot always drill, worry, or drive children and youth, sheep, lambs, and goats into the fold of the great and loving Shepherd of all, just whenever he likes ; why you must e'en accept from your " ancient gossip," the author, this same amende for the abstrac tion of suppressed matter after the residue was stereotyped. But don't let grandmother get hold of this, what ever you do ; for though egregiously misplaced, she would, of course, and as in duty bound, feel vastly shocked and deeply grieved, at my audacious and most deplorable impiety. " Shades of all the Pil grims " where did " this degenerate plant of a strong vine come from ? " From Plymouth Eock, at your service, madam according to the inscription though I don't believe a word of it, and haven't a doubt it " lies" like any other " epitaph ! " I think I see the c<5mmittee LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 73 now, sittino; in solemn conclave over "some of our best 7 O names," canvassing their respective claims to "the high honor" and no thanks to them for the selection, so far as I am concerned ! Who cares to have his ancestors proved a greater set of dunderheads than must needs have been inferred from existing specimens? Not I! It is bad enough, in all conscience, to have had St. Paul down upon them in advance, as a set of graceless vaga bonds worse than so many infidels for as near as I can learn, our father was the first (after his bachelor uncle), to open his eyes to the possibility that the "house of Peveril," might eventually become "Awra- bled" if not "humble" unless its sons condescended to cultivate something beside barren acres, and new scions of the old family stock. The reason wliy I don't believe the inscription is this History and legend both aver, that there arrived, some years later, a self-sufficient, presumptions, inde pendent clique, who had the impertinence to object to the location, find fault with the government, and com mit sundry other enormities by way of making them selves popular; and just so much the more as they were coaxed to remain in the colony, just so much the more they wouldn't ; all of which tallies so exactly with old family traditions, and the very "nature of the beast," that I haven't a doubt they were there every mother's son of them a hard-headed, self-willed, con tumacious set, as they were, and are, and always will be to the end of time, I fear ! For example here are you, this blessed minute, reading straight along in spite of my prescription, just as if you didn't know how few eyes could bear as much as mine. " Well, if you will go to perdition, it can't be helped I've done 74 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. my duty!" But see that you pay more attention to the other injunction, and burn this, pr hide it away and lose it anywhere but in your coat-pocket, where grand mother will be sure to overhaul it on your next visit. 1 wouldn't really worry or distress her upon any account, though I have known people whom it would be truly .refreshing to see get hold of it ; always provided you were safe out of reach of their saintship's claws, and at a respectful distance from their mellifluous tones of voice. By the way, did you ever remark what uncom monly fine, strong lungs the saints always have ? I wonder if any of them ever die of consumption ! Pray inquire of the College of Physicians the suggestion might be useful in physiology ! But wouldn't some of the " elect," look about aa saintly on its perusal, as they and others were wont to do, once upon a time, when I used to tell some of the hopeful tyros whose new-fledged sanctity hadn't quite overawed, or effaced my impression of what incompara ble ninnies we school-girls thought them a few weeks before that "I really couldn't say whether I should like to be a Christian or not, never having seen one that I could remember:" and others of the embryo "ambassadors," that "it was very evident the Lord cared little how we felt, or what we thought con cerning him, or he would take care to be more ably represented." But this was wrong all wrong no matter how much a man may deserve censure or ridicule for foisting him self into a position he is unable to fill, it is ungenerous for even a woman to strike at one who has no intel lectual armor to parry the thrust ! It would be dastardly in a man, and I hope that you will always LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 75 have too much self-respect to aim a blow of the kind at one who is thus doubly disarmed. For even I child that I was, and reckless, callous, and " impenitent" as I was deemed felt many a pang at seeing the poor, simple, unsuspecting go-betweens, grazed by the passing shaft that rankled far deeper in a loftier mark. But the peerless bores were so intolerably annoying with their "gratuitous efforts" made by special request "for the conversion of one who lacked nothing but the grace of God" (and the other exception to "everything");* and the temptation to pay back, to those I could not otherwise reach, some small portion of the long arrears of contumely, opprobrium, and childish grievance, was too strong to be resisted; so the poor spoonies had to suffer. But I hope the obtuseness of their own percep tions, did them good service on the occasion, and that you, who had far less of the "gall of bitterness" infused into your young existence, will never copy this portion of my example. ',, / Your affectionate sister, LOUISE. ORPHANAGE. Lightly Men speak of widowhood and orphanage, As words, that well might be defined by others ! And talk of sorrow, loneliness, and grief, As graphic terms ; and competent to tell The measure of unmeasured desolation. * Alluding to the expression of an old lady who used to say that if her daughter married to please her, "she would give her everything but the grace of God and a gold house." 76 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. You, who did ever love what you have lost, Say are they not mere mockeries of thought ? For thee " Sad widowhood," I know thee not ; but oh, Thy dread compeer, only an angel fallen, Its fearful import may define ! Fallen From heaven, from happiness, from hope Exiled forever, orphaned from God To all eternity ! Yes, he might tell ; Though earth has not a language to express A thing so redolent of wretchedness ! " ' Orphan' a wanderer and a fugitive, An alien from his home, a stranger on All hearths the common football of a world!" Aye that is Truth ; but not the half is told. " What is it then to be an orphan ?" Oh, is it not to live, and move, and breathe, In utter solitude mid countless thousands ? To brook cold looks and careless greetings, e'en When most we yearn for kindlier tones ? To stand unrecognized amid the friends Of youth and childhood's haunts, then turn The weary foot again to wandering, Reckless of aim ! It is, to live within The marts of pleasure and of gain, yet be No willing worshiper at either shrine ; To think and speak, and act, not for your pleasure But another's the veriest slave of time, And circumstance Fortune's automaton ! To hear of fraud, injustice, and oppression, And know who is the readiest victim: LETTERS AXD MISCELLANIES. 77 To make an inventory of Fortune's Left-hand favors, and reckon them your own. Cold friend, and causeless foe proud thoughts that rise To fall; bright hopes, that bud for blighting: Affections, which are passions, lava-like Destroying what they rest upon. Feeling's Fond, fervid tide preparing icebergs for That fragile bark, the loving human heart ; O'ermastering pride, life and its changes Cannot bow ; and soul-subduing poverty, That lays its iron, cold grasp upon the high Free spirit: strength, sorrow-born, that bends Nor breaks not in its clasp all, all are The orphan's heritage. And if aught else Can wring, with more enduring pang, the soul So sternly nerved to bear that too, is his : Full surely may he count on his reversion ! And his to feel the spirit's yearning love For all of melody and beauty, and see A mist come o'er the scene, a dimness on The mental vision ! 'Tis, to dream of joy And wake to wretchedness ; to stand but for One little moment where the fresh'ning breeze Steals o'er the languid lip and brow, telling Of forest leaf, and ocean wave, and happy Homes, and cheerful toil ; and bringing gently To the wearied heart, its long-forgotten Dreams of gladness back ; then turn the fevered cheek Away from its reviving influence, And deem it is, in truth, a passing fair And goodly world ; but in it there is not 7 78 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. A resting for the orphan ! The very breath Of heaven, that comes to all, comes not to him, Bound in " iron gyves" of unremitting toil, His vital air is wretchedness what needs He any other ? And music's tone, And beauty's glance, the green earth's smile, and heaven's Resplendent veil, where angel eyes are peering Through, what are they all to him, but sunny Leaves, in some bright book he may not stay To scan ? It is, to have a frater-feeling For the flower untimely withered To claim connection with the blighted bough ; And feel a parting pang, as the frail leaf, Wind -driven, flits restless along! 'Tis, to watch The glorious light of intellect, Burn dimly, and expire ; and mark the soul Though born in heaven, pause in its high career, "Wa^e in its course, and fall to grovel in The dust of earth's contamination, till Even Death shall scorn, to give a thing So low, aught like a welcome greeting ! Oh, who would be, that pale Blue mist, that hangs so low in air, like hope That has abandoned earth, yet reacheth not To heaven ; that unappropriated star In nature's galaxy that withering, Lone exotic in creation's garden Which men do call " an orphan?" L. * m % * * ^ LETTEES AND MISCELLANIES. 79 LETTER IX. ' * ' * OBJECTIONS TO TEXAN AD VENTURE IN 1834. TO S. J. S. O N.Y., Sep., 1834. MY VERY DEAR BROTHER: MOST cordially do I congratulate you upon the recov ered use of your right hand I wish I could add and the uninterrupted exercise of all your faculties, mental as well as physical. But it seems to me that this idea of going to Texas savors more of madness, than good sense or sound judgment. What are those "eligible offers" which you allude to so gingerly, just as if you knew they wouldn't bear specification anything more about sailing under a black flag ? But a truce to nonsense, and Stanley, do not go to Texas not now, at least, if ever ! Look at its history ; a few restless spirits, for the most part, no doubt, the very scum and scourge of civilization, have fled to it as a land of refuge or theatre for wild and lawless adventure, and are now seeking to embroil the home of their adoption, in the horrors of civil war. They will doubtless succeed that they have not done so already is no fault, or merit, of theirs and then, when over borne in the conflict (as they should be) never dream they will lack the audacity to apply for succor to the country they have abandoned. Not they! And what they ask that they will receive; though no more entitled to it than a " loup the dyke daughter," to the protection of a father whose name she has dishonored, whose affec tion she has spurned, whose hearth she has deserted ! 80 . LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 1 am no statesman to foresee results and predict their consequence ; but know enough of geography to recol lect that Texas is nearer to Louisiana than Maine though somehow you " everlasting Yankees" always do contrive to get nearer to everything than anybody else and of human nature to expect the South to avail herself of the proximity, to strengthen her own arm for that fierce war of opinion, which the frantic fanaticism of the North seems bent on precipitating. Whoever lives to witness the successful interference of the United States with the family broils of Mexico and Texas, will see the latter become a " bone of contention" between the white bear of the North and the lion of the South ; and long may they continue to growl over it, so it keep them from gnawing on each other's vitals ! You need not marvel if 1 chance to be somewhat in the rear of events ; we, in this little Yankee colony, are mostly blest with sectarian politics ; and if it were not for an occasional excursion into the surrounding State of New York, I could scarce pick up as much of the other commodity as would suffice to annoy some intole rable old proser, or as is like to become matter of his tory. Still I go in clearly for the let-alone system, and say once again do not go, though 1 know that to you men, wherever danger is there is a charm! Heaven knows I am no coward, yet I sleep little since this inti mation of your design. The government is so unsettled and arbitrary, personal security cannot be great. I fear for you, the savage brutality of the native, the murder ous dirk of the Spaniard, the deeper duplicity and dead lier hate of the Catholic and wanton ; and worse than all, the implacable hostility or more fearful friendship of the outlaw and renegade. Living, for the most of LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 81 your short life, in the quiet villages of New England, you have, in all probability, had no opportunity for acquiring tact to guard against the finesse of one adver sary and the vindictive fury of another, of course, you have it not ; experience might bring it ; but it would come too late ! It is in vain that I strive to view this subject in any other light; I cannot shake off the con viction that in going to Texas, you seek an early, and violent, perhaps ignominious grave! If your propositions are really eligible, why not pass them over to Dunmore he is older, more acquainted with the various modifications of human nature, and consequently better qualified to cope with its multiform developments. Moreover, as a husband and father, he has, as Lord Bacon says, " given bond to fate" not to engage, for good or for evil, in any rash or headlong enterprise. There are other, I hope, better prospects open to you. Evelyn tells me she has written you recently " on a subject not new" and requests me to do the same. My brother what shall I say ? My thoughts, my ex pectations, my very heartstrings are entwined indisso- lubly around this object. It is the one verdant spot where the seeds of earthly enjoyment might yet arise and blossom for me ; if a blight fall upon this, alas for my hope of happiness its tale is told, its requiem is spoken ! Once more then, my generous noble-minded brother, let me entreat you, be persuaded; let not both your sisters plead in vain for the inestimable privilege, of contributing by word and deed toward making you what you ought to become, an ornament to your name, an honor to your country ! And why do you hesitate ? simply because you " fear that / am sacrificing some 82 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. cherished vision of domestic happiness, to promote your interests !" And this from you you who know how often the assertion, that I u was born to be tolerated, never to be loved," was reiterated in my youthful ears, till a conviction of its truth became deep and abiding ; and the young affections so early and hopelessly re pressed, were garnered up for you as the only being on earth, who could ever be expected to appreciate or re turn them. If the idea were not superlatively absurd, it would be truly vexatious. In the name of all that is ridiculous, do oblige me by delineating the form of the pining, sentimental, love sick old maid, which your imagination has conjured up, as gliding among your household gods some ten or fifteen years hence, like an impersonation of all the "Azure Demons" from the Field of the Incurables. If you please though, strike out something new, I object to being mounted like a witch on a broomstick that is entirely too common-place! More especially for a savant, who " apprehends (from certain facts which have come incidentally to his knowledge), that longer experience, and more extended intercourse with con genial circles, have taught me ere this, that there may be something dearer to the heart of woman than a brother's love !" " Mirdbile dictu!" And pray "how long have you professed apprehension," my very vener able signior of seventeen ? And didn't it cost you a vast deal of trouble, to get up that very pretty and vastly wise-looking sentence ? And what will you improvise next, if I admit your premises, and deny the inference? Among other items of precocious wisdom, perhaps you may know the " heart of woman" is said to be most susceptible between the ages of sixteen and-two-and- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 83 twenty ; and if, by reason of extreme old age, you have not forgotten how to count, you will find I have not only entered the vortex, but passed its utmost verge unscathed, as /think, though it is probable you are the better judge, so a word in your ear before you decide, /never knew anybody "pine away and die" for love, unless there was opposition in the case, from whence I conclude, it is more love of one's own "sweet will" than anything else. If you know any desperate case of the kind, advise the patient to recover as fast as possible; " dying for love" is a pitiful excuse to offer one's Maker, for appearing in his presence uncalled. At all events, the heart that is preoccupied, must bear a charmed security, and therefore, " The love of" saddened " childhood's years, The love of youth's first vow The same through sickness, grief and wrong, May not be banished now !" One is wise, " but I care not," another is rich, "yet I am well," a third is noble alike in person, in mind, and in fortune, and I would ask no better materiel " to make me gods and find them clay" yet still There comes no change upon my heart, Though many a one may cross my brow, The hopes I nursed ere life grew dark, Those very hopes I cherish now ! Fashion and ease in vain may smile, Or wealth his glittering hoard bestow, Or love strew flowers with sweeter wile, Their charms are bright but all too low. What though I frequent folly's fair, j "Where hands and hearts are often sold ; What if my smile be lightest there? When nearly viewed, 'tis something cold! 84 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Ambition, I have sought thy shrine, * And at thy altar kneel I yet, For lofty thought and high design In recreant heart were never met. My woman's spirit owns thy sway, Nor writhes beneath the chain, Jfor falters on the toilsome way, With truant thought, and pining vain 1 The fealty vowed in early youth, And kept through all my weary lot Is pledged again in woman's truth; I am no changeling, doubt me not! But if you like our worthy grandmother, believe a vow " to love honor and obey," indispensable to wo man's happiness, recollect mine is in your keeping! The sooner .you take measures to resume your native rank the better; for until that is done, I promise you most solemnly, I will never marry no never ! I will not be the connecting link between a blacksmith and a gentleman I will ally no man to poverty and disgrace! Aye disgrace for that it is, for any man to fall be low the station in which he was born. I respect honest industry as much as any one, but God placed you in a different sphere, and gifted you with a high order of intellect, alike capable of maintaining, or regaining your position. What if you have been rudely thrust from your place ? It is yours again whenever you choose to take it. A slip from the old oak, will you bend like the osier to the first adverse blast ? Are you still a child that must tamely succumb to all the powers that be a weak woman, for whom there is no resource, but meekly to bow to every passing caprice of un bridled despotism ? Recollect you are a man! The * LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 85 high gift of the head to devise, and the hand to execute, is yours ! " And wilt thou be fainthearted, and turn from the strife, From the mighty arena, where all that is grand, And devoted, and pure, and adoring in life. Is for high-thoughted souls, like thine, to command? Oh no, never dream it !" Inclosed you will find an Ode to Ease, by the Hon. K. H. "Wilde, of Ga., in which, despite the concluding lines, he seems to doubt whether the choice of a literary inactive seclusion were a wise one. You cannot if you would, take such a choice; then why not make a nobler? Most anxiously shall I await your final decision. In the meantime Evelyn, who seems half inclined to make me the organ of her general communications, desires to be remembered to you, speaks enthusiastically (for her) of the improvement which the last two years have wrought in your intellectual character and prospects, and re quests, that you will " continue to improve in chirog- raphy and extend your acquaintance with Mathematics." /would add the name of an humbler science, but think you are already aware to what I refer. Ever Yours, LOUISE. * 86 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. /^.-i ,.<* LETTER X. NEW ENGLAND ABSTRACTIONS. A. N. Y., Nov., 1834. TEN THOUSAND THANKS, my dear, dear BROTHER, for jour last epistle, and its thrice welcome contents. The Rubicon, it seems, is passed, and I can well sympathize with your buoyancy of feeling it is the natural result of sudden release from deep and long-protracted sus pense, and you nee done, there is no manner of doubt ; for do we not read, 'Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined;'" "that is to say, that if bent awry, it will grow crooked." Not deigning to notice this interruption, save by an accession of dignity intended to repress all such insolent 104 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. ebullitions in future, the speaker proceeded : " From which it is evident that an oak trained in the form of a vine will assume ite properties." " By no means : it is idle to suppose inherent properties can be transferred by mere change of form." " So it is written ! " " Not by an unerring pen, however; neither would it sustain your theory if it were." Resorting to good, sound logic is a condescension which no infallible person should ever be expected to make : the last cavil was, therefore, treated with proper contempt, the reply alluding solely to the first insinua tion. " Well, then, if nothing but sacred authority will silence your foolish objections, has not the son of Sirach said, " Train ttp a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he witt not depart from it? " And why should not the rule apply to vegetable as well as animal nature ? And, beside, are not ice persons of approved judgment, profound sagacity, and incontestible expe rience?" "Of considerable experience, I admit," re joins the interlocutor, glancing significantly toward some sickly-looking shrubs, evidently making a precarious struggle for existence ; " but I have yet to learn that it has been successful." The unparalleled audacity of a remark and appeal so like the argumentum ad hominem had well nigh over set the theory and equanimity of our horticulturists; however, they rally with tolerable grace, put the best face possible upon the matter, and resume with more nonchalance and urbanity than could have been ex pected after so severe a rebuff. "To be stire, our efforts have not been as successful as we could wish hitherto, owing to some untoward events, and perhaps to some little inadvertence on our part; but now, with our LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. accumulated experience, concentrated energy and inde fatigable seal, every obstacle must be obviated." 'Admitting, then, that success is certain, (which by the way I very much doubt,) what gain will there be sufficient to counterbalance the toil of attainment 2 Why is an oak less valuable than a vine ? Is not ' the mon arch of the hills,' the, personification of majesty as well as beauty, and as useful as magnificent 1 Is it not found in ' palace hall and peasant cot,' on desert plain and ocean brine, the mighty instrument that enables man to set his conquering foot on the subject wave and outride the fury of the ocean storm I" " It is the emblem of pride and arrogance," retort the trio, indignant at the idea of a panegyric on the oak, "and for this alone the whole species ought to be exter minated ! It usurps a place that might support a tree bearing fruit nutritious to man, is frequently a partisan in public brawls and private feuds, and further, we ap prove not those vagrant habits which thou dost covertly advocate, and it is so well calculated to sustain. There fore we are of opinion that ' He, who doeth all things well,' would have done a little better had he created more vines and fewer oaks in our domains ; and we are resolved to tolerate, from henceforth, nothing so excep tionable in our premises." "You must exclude the vine then, if trees are to be condemned for the use made of their productions ; it may, with the utmost propriety, be termed the parent of dissipation, and as such is celebrated in the annals of strife.*' u 'Riey were profane libelers who made it so. Has it not the immortal honor to be the symbol of the Church and its great Lord and Master I It cannot but be well- 106 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. pleasing in his sight, when we, his creatures, improve upon his work, by eradicating the properties of the oak and substituting . those of his chosen emblem ! My friends, let us set about this glorious work immediately. It must infallibly be crowned with success." "I fear me not Nature and Fortune are but wayward divinities, and often thwart the best concerted schemes. However, if you will not be persuaded, 'go on and pros per.' I will call when I return, and should you succeed, may avail myself of your skill in behalf of some eaglets, that you will doubtless think proper to convert into geese." "By all means, and we shall be most happy to oblige you, though we cannot exactly coincide with you in opinion." The debate thus amicably adjusted, both parties be ing, as usual, the more confirmed in their own opinion, the process was commenced immediately after Common Sense, (who was 'never a party to such an experiment,) had taken her leave. With one accord, the victors in the "wordy war" repair to an adjacent forest, select a thrifty -looking shrub and transfer it without further loss of time to their parterre partly for the convenience of having it near at hand, but more to remove it from the contagion of vicious oaken example. Not an acorn was tolerated in its presence lest it should recall unfavorable associations ; vines of unexceptionable deportment sur rounded it on every side, and a hundred ligaments on the trunk and branches, said most unequivocally, "this is the way, walk ye in it !" Attentions, suited to the importance of the subject and the dignity of the occa sion, were duly administered "from night to morn, from morn to dewy eve," and nothing but the indomitable LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 107 pertinacity of an oak, prevented it from being a vine of most exemplary demeanor. But alas for obstinacy, it neutralizes every effort for improvement, and so it did in this instance. When Common Sense first saw the PROTEGE, it had but just emerged from etiolation; still she fancied its native vigor not sufficiently exhausted to prevent the in cipient spirit of rebellion from soon developing itself; though not caring to mar the enjoyment of others, merely to show her own superior discernment, she mag nanimously forbore to express such an opinion. The experimentalists, meanwhile, continued as sanguine as ever, and urged her to bring forward the eaglets, but she "preferred waiting the result of the present experi ment, or until such time at least as the birds should have become sufficiently hardy to endure the process without endangering their lives." But let no one imagine our trio suffered aught, of minor consequence, to abstract their attention from what they deemed of paramount importance. They were indefatigable in their exertions, every su perfluous excrescence was carefully removed; but no sooner was a refractory shoot lopped off on one side, than a dozen others sprang in its place, or some other equally exceptionable, till, at length, a more distorted- looking shrub never set every principle of order at defi ance, or cast its uncouth shade on the fair face of nature. Indeed, the returning wanderer seemed half inclined to class it, with "Forms might be worshiped on the bended knee, and yet the second dread command be free!" There were leaves in plenty, and boughs in abundance, and angles in every variety the most devo ted lover of geometry could desire ; but for the graceful 108 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. curve of the vine, it was nowhere to be found, and for grapes, there were none of them. But that was no man ner of consequence, for had they been hung on the horns of the moon, they would have been equally accessible. It resembled nothing in nature very nearly ; but if a com parison must be had, an Ishmaelite and a Bramble will contest the honor of election. When Common Sense next re-visited the scene, she was received quite as cordially as most people greet one whose advice they have spurned, when he comes to see his prediction verified. There was a change in the PBO- TEGE ; its native vigor had been exhausted in futile ef forts to escape its unnatural confinement, the hues of autumn were ripe mid the green glories of summer, and it was evident it could not long survive a monument of defeat ! It was no time to taunt them with their discomfi ture, it was too apparent ! " STBANGE," said they ; " and after all the pains we have taken PASSING STKANGE!" "Not at aZZ," says Common Sense "the captive eagle will pine in bondage, the mountain oak will wither and die in an ungenial soil, while the culturist is vainly looking for fruit to recompense his toil. "The monarchs of crag and cliff may bask in the sun, or revel in the storm, for me, I set not an intruder's foot in their dominions 1" GLANDULA. A N. F.,1835. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 109 LETTER XI. EVERYTHING IN GENERAL AND NOTHING IN PARTICULAR. TO S. J. S. L , Tenn., April, 1836. MY DEAKEST BROTHER: IF you find my letters resemble " angel visits " at all, you ought to be very thankful, instead of complaining that "for the last twelvemonth they are becoming brief '," as well as "few and far between." I am sorry the circumstance has given j<>u pain, and do assure you it did not originate in any waning interest in your welfare ; but was merely the natural and almost inevitable result of extraneous circumstances and our relative change of position. > "Othello's occupation 's gone," you no longer need lecturing, or if you do, I shall hand you over to your tutor, who will, no doubt, perform the operation much more secundum artem. You know it is always my pleasure to contribute to yours, so if by virtue of seniority I happen to possess any information which you prefer to receive through my hands, it is entirely at your service ; but Stanley, I am not your superior, and wish to be considered as such no longer ! It is disagreeable to be overrated ; when any thing is elevated above the true medium, it has to fall as much below, before it recovers the equilibrium, and for this facilis descensus Averni, or as Falstaff has it, "Alacrity in sinking," I have no very special predilec tion. We all know what to expect from a hot-house growth, and it is not the possession of any extra facul- 110 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. ties, or the excess of ordinary ones, that makes rne "so much older in intellect than years ;" but the simple fact, that adverse fortunes forced such as I have into prema ture action. It is only the worm can be trampled with impunity oppression is sure to strengthen what she cannot fatally depress. But "111 betide the school wherein I learned to ride," so no more of your "on dits" they may flatter but do not please. Much as Hercules would have liked a compliment on his spinning, or Charles the Twelfth the reputation of taste in artifi cial flower-making, do I relish these suspicious commen dations. Yours, of course, are not ironical and intended to quiz; but where "the hand of affection guides the pen," the partiality of friendship is liable to bias the judgment. And besides, "what has a woman's fearful heart to do with aught like fame," unless it be to bask in the soft radiance of its light as reflected from the brow of another? So speak me no more speeches, re peat me no more reports, I entreat you. And still less would I have you suspect "the change in your feelings respecting the relative value of 'things temporal and things spiritual,'" to have wrought any in mine toward you. Not so, my brother! It is matter of no ordinary gratulation, that you are now free to devote your time, your thoughts and energies to pursuits which your situation so imperiously imposes, unannoyed by the harassing and forever recurring conviction, that the mightier interests of the future are all uncared for! I may well envy you the calm happiness of an assured belief, the lofty serenity with which one, who has an chored his hopes steadfastly on the future, can ; some times at least, if not always, survey the shifting scenes of life's panorama ; but there must be no alienation of LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Ill affection, no diminution of confidence between us, no reserve, no estrangement, unless you would indeed have me believe that there is really something odiously self- righteous, prescriptive and hateful in all religion ! So just write on whatever you feel like writing, and never doubt that it will all be welcome, even should you take it into your head to be so excessively good that your "guardian angel" could venture to give up his garrison, and you to play Rhadamanthus's old woman, and set about correcting everybody's faults but your own. Though in that case you might lack for canoniza tion very shortly, for I should be certain to have you down on my list as a sort of supplementary saint, more especially as there are some vacancies, and I find but one here who would, even with the proper training, be competent to take the highest honors. However, there is little danger of that, I opine, and perhaps it was not well, or wise in me, to suppress the fact, that subsequent to my attack of scarlet fever, in May last, I was never able to trace more than a dozen lines at a time prior to my leaving New York, and had not fully recovered from the debilitating effects of a change from limestone to river water, and vice versa, when I wrote you last ; for it seems you have contrived to torment yourself just as much as if you had actually known the worst. But I will just thank you not to be quite so ingenious in making yourself miserable hereafter, and see no great use in your worrying yourself to death to discover " the tone of my feelings from the tenor of my letters." They form no certain or infallible criterion Cowper was not the only one who ever wrote a facetious article to ward off a legion of the blues and if my spirits are not always at the alto pitch, you are not bound to suppose yourself 112 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. the cause though 1 don't know, being one of Plato's chickens, perhaps you can't help being a little conceited ; but there are others who sometimes take the liberty of disturbing my equanimity his saintship for instance. You know that as executor on that farce of a will, he became heir to the spirit in which it was dictated, and I do believe, thinks me a more potent witch than she of Endor; for notwithstanding he considers Evelyn alto gether too immaculate to be "art and part" to any of my misdoings, he is so jealous of a "malign influence" somewhere, that his last dispatches exhibit anything but dispatch. Verily, he ought to go down on his knees, morning and evening, and pray long and fervently for the health and prosperity, spiritual and temporal, of Mr. Secrectary Woodbury, (I presume he never heard of Junius,) he owes it to him in common justice for having revived a phrase so precisely embodying what he wished to think. It requires great effort you know, at times, to get an idea to assume a palpable form ; but despite his implicit confidence and her own peerless perfection, Evelyn will "manage" him so, that his aversion to me shall not light upon you. And much as it grieves me, (knowing him to be a very cordial "hater,") I feel bound to say to himself and others, charitable enough to close their eyes so resolutely to the fine assortment of imper fections which I have, and endow me so liberally with those I have not, that they really must not flatter them selves I am "insane" enough to reciprocate their ill- will, or do anything worse than "let them alone very severely" for indeed I do hope to hear their disappro bation very stoically, so long as it continues the same matter of perfect indifference that it always has been, save where your interests were concerned. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 113 Your opinion, however, is quite another affair; but it's clearly undutiful of you, to suppose I " regret the sacri fice I have made, and pine for my native New York and the society," voluntarily "relinquished." My BROTHER, do you call the unrestricted exercise of your own good-will and pleasure a sacrifice ? "Well, perhaps it may be so to you men, who are born "lords of the ascendant," though in that case you must be a very self-sacrificing set, and it's melancholy to think how you must yearn for the luxury of being more amenable to good advice than you commonly are, and what martyrdom you will endure rather than allow us "womankind" the special treat of "a little brief authority." But did it never occur to your wisdom, that it is little, very little, for the bird of passage to shake from her dewy plume the germ of a mighty tree, but much if when faint and worn with wan dering, she can hope to return, fold her weary wing and nestle securely beneath its spreading branches ? As re spects the other intimation I tread a path I shall not return, For a fiery spirit goads me on ; And the haughty heart will inly burn To grasp the ancient glories gone. For life, for life I fly the toil, Nor reck I of my being's wane ; Let but its lamp supply the oil That lights thee on to glory's wane. Let but one thought of me awake The sleeping god within thy soul, How freely would these heartstrings break To hail thee first at honor's goal. I care not if the cypress shade, Fling shadows o'er this form of mine, Let but these hands the ivy braid, For that resplendent brow of thine, 114 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES Let me but see a lofty race, Once more a noble name adorn, I'll be the star that hides its face, Before the rising god of morn ! Lastly, no insinuations about society, if you please. I find that which is very good : chiefly among middle- aged married people, it is true ; but that is because ladies marry earlier here in the South-West than in al most any other civilized country on the globe. Of course they cannot be expected to know much about matters and things in general ; for it takes time to observe and reflect, and they never get beyond sixteen before they get out of the state of " single blessedness," or twenty- five ever after they may become widows, you know unless compelled to don a cap or wig to hide their gray hairs. I believe they were all rather scandalized at not seeing the former instead of " natural curls" on my arrival ; so, to mystify them a little more, often refer carelessly, as if eye-witness, to events that occurred about the time of my birth, or perhaps five or ten years earlier, and then, again, don't choose or don't feel able to recollect others that transpired as much later : for all of which, I dare say, they think me a very bungling romancer ; but I can see they are puzzled, and enjoy it finely. A straight-forward Yankee query, or regular cross-exam ination, would soon spoil the fun ; but that would be the neplus ultra of impertinence, and no Southron could be so rude. However, no lady no Northern one par ticularly should ever compromise her reputation for commmon-sense and veracity by specifying her age at all. No lady under fifty is expected to tell hers cor rectly; nor even then, if she chance to be widow or LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 115 spinster: so, all she would gain by speaking the truth would be, to be suspected of telling a falsehood; it being customary to add at least two years to the reck oning of any one reported by herself, or friends, to be under twenty, and Jive to that of those admitting them selves so much in the decline of life as to have reached what legal courtesy calls "years of discretion." Should any temeraire say " thirty" the hearer would, of course, take a little more latitude, and add another jive to his extra " allowance." Mais revenons, I have as much society as I care for ; though the misery of these little villages is, rival parties are forever on the alert "foolishly and gallantly to stab and dirk each other for the crown o' the causeway!" Consequently, the unlucky wight who has the bad taste to fancy " sitting on a rail," is in imminent danger of being precipitated from his "high estate" into the mire of neglect. Could I feel assured no other would ever annoy me, I should esteem myself singularly fortunate. The genius for "improvement" is by no means peculiar to the land of " blue laws ; " but the " go-ahead " system doesn't seem to nourish in Tennessee as well as might be expected, considering that the phrase is indigenous. They would cut a canal in New England, or construct a railroad in New York, in less time than it takes to pave a bit of a sidewalk or make a common twenty-mile turnpike in this region. If I might be allowed a con jecture on anything so much above a woman's ken as the cause of this difference, I should say there were too many ruling members in all bodies corporate, and too few subordinates in proportion. There is much prac tical good sense in the vulgar adage, " too many cooks 116 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. spoil the ~broth" to say the least, they retard the cook ing. MOVING SLOW is, too, one of the prescriptive rights of all great bodies, and contractors here cannot avail themselves of the impetus which "EXTRA WAGES" gives to industry. It is no object with them to get three months' work done in two, for, if the poor, silly operatives were perverse enough to die in consequence, it might not be their own exclusive concern ; and, be sides, they have them to feed, whether they work or not. Slavery hangs like an incubus on the wheels of internal improvement ; but the recoil affects the master, not the slave, who is your born conservative, and jealous as any Lord Eldon of radical innovation and new-fangled notions. Now, for all this, I expect that when that picture I once asked you for does come, the first thing I shall spy will be " a great pearl," peering out from under a nice crimped cap, surmounted by a huge pair of iron spectacles, like old Dr. Franklin's ! Hope you'll not have the conscience to make me look as much like an old grimalkin as he did, if the limners have given us a correct version of the matter ; for, truly, there must be "more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of" in woman's philosophy, or the owner of that baboon- looking phiz had never electrified the world with any thing but a laugh at his own expense. Nobody shall have one at mine though, on seeing me dished up in the soup maigre of an album; of that I am resolved. I have a perfect horror of the things : there is not a gen tleman in all the wide length and breadth of the land has half my contemptible opinion of the pretty nothings ; and, much as I regret to disoblige so highly esteemed a LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 117 friend of yours as Mrs. D., must really write " inad missible" on her request. Tell her anything else; but here I am quite impracticable. " Some people never know when they are well off," and it seems you are one of the number; but, after giving you sufficient time to achieve the perusal of this, (and digest the Lecture on Political Economy,) I shall look impatiently for a response. Gentlemen should always be punctual ; though ladies cannot, of course, be expected to practice such a counting-house virtue, or submit to the drudgery of writing very often ! Evelyn requests me to send her love with mine, and says " you may now expect to hear from her very soon." So, adieu, au revoir, mon cherfrere. Ever, ever yours, LOUISE. LETTER XII. GOSSIP WITH AN OLD SCHOOLMATE. L , Tenn., May , 1836 " VEKY WELL, Miss LUCY: " TKY some new legerdemain next time, will you ? You are seen through now, I do assure you, politic as you may have thought yourself, in attempting to atone for your own sins of omission by pretending how well other people kept me in remembrance! But all health and prosperity to the citizens of * * * ; " may they live for ever," for a noble, highly-cultivated, and intellectual specimen of humanity as they are. Certes, they must be all that, if they persist in calling me " beautiful ; " 10 118 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. which no one else does " now-a-days," except some dim- sighted old man, unsophisticated, passionless child, or dreamy youth whose brain is filled with classic visions of Junos, Minervas, and Calliopes ! And, really, it is quite a relief: who cares to screw a smirk on to one side of the face, while a sneer comes of its own accord on the other, and all to return a civil answer to a silly speech ? Not I ; do you ? Tell that splendid villain, L , he had better keep his wife alive as long as he can ; for, when she is gone, I intend to take him, nolens volens, just to punish his outrageous impudence ; and won't poor Eveleen's wrongs be amply revenged under my administration ? His threat of discharging his pill-box at "the counselor" means, I suppose, that he would be a formidable com petitor. If you suspect it implies anything more, ask him : how should I divine ? I presume he intends his " intimation that the year eighteen hundred and thirty - eight has come and gone," for a stroke of naivete ; but it can't pass ! He has been quite as near the tropics as I am has always had the use of his eyes, ears and tongue in great perfection, and must, of course, know that all females coming from beyond " thirty -seven de grees, twenty-eight minutes, North," are regarded, in this latitude, as so many importations from Noah's Ark sisters or daughters of the proprietor, names not mentioned; and, consequently, that his "precautions" would, if possible, be even more superfluous than his " apprehensions." " But, really, Miss," your late trip seems to have been quite a voyage of discovery, and very successful, too, judging from the quantity of "gold" that glitters in your pages. If you need any farther information LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 119 respecting "gold pencils" and "diamond repeaters," apply to Mr. Tonguetied Telltale "tied" in the middle, I mean, so that it runs at both ends ; lie is a very com petent judge of the articles : perhaps you may have seen some specimen of his taste in bijouterie. And now it seems he has turned commentator in addition to his other numerous accomplishments, and elucidated " certain obscure passages in a vague rumor which you never fully understood," (simply because it was never intended you should,) "very much to your satisfaction." I know you got your enlightenment nowhere else, so please say to this Paul Pry, junior, that he really does intrude, and I seldom forget; so that if ever I do get a chance to pay him off for his gratuitous tattling, he may safely reckon on compound interest, though I ought, I suppose, to be very thankful that he didn't allow the affair to transpire while I was exposed to moral and matrimonial lectures extraordinary, from the whole tribe of Saints, who would in that case have felt a redoubled zeal for my conversion, not to mention a very godly yearning to have all that " worldly wealth," as well as my "surpassing talents," brought into the service of the Sanctuary." But take shame to yourself for your former stupidity, and say nothing more about having recently made the precious discovery "that my price must be rather high, as neither the Miser's Son nor the miser's gold could buy " me, nor my pedigree ! The latter was all "Yea Yerily " wanted, I am confident ; for when did he come to the magnanimous conclusion to encumber himself with a wife ? Why precisely when he found that I had unrestricted intercourse with a cer tain clique, into which he and his, with all their wealth and sycophancy, could then come only just " so far and 120 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. no farther," and not before. This thing called pride of birth, or family pride, may, like the principle of "origi nal sin," (of which perhaps it is only a ramification,) be very unreasonable and absurd ; but you may argue it out of existence, and ridicule it into nonentity, and when you have done up starts the hydra in full life and vigor. So I give you fair notice, that if ever I am free to "commit matrimony," " noble or not I," will be my motto. I am, at best, no very devout believer in la belle passion : but this standing up in the presence of one* s Maker, to swear to three falsehoods in a breath, seems to me rather a hazardous experiment for one pair of ordinary lungs, and as I don't happen to belong to the aforementioned tribe of saints, think it just possible that mine might fail me in my hour of utmost need, and leave me to die of strangulation ; for how a woman expects to "honor" one she contemns, and "obey" one she con siders her inferior, exceeds my comprehension ! I am not so incorrigibly stupid though, that I cannot learn the worth of money by the want of it, and do ad mit that "a fine fortune's a fine thing," and 150,000 a very goodly array of figures ; but set a cipher at their head, and then see ! If it does not materially alter their specific value, there must be some little flaw in my " great mathematical powers " somewhere. But supposing ever so respectable a figure to stand at the head of such a fortune, I doubt whether it would much conduce to the happiness of a woman without any to become its nominal mistress. " Mated not matched," is a remark that would too often apply to such a connec tion. Moore's "hearts never changing and brow never cold," is very good poetry, nothing more. He has him self distinctly referred to the "poet's privilege" of being LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 121 "three removes from truth," and men, with their cal lous sensibilities and overweening estimate of wealth, will, in their moments of irritation or heedless levity, let slip no opportunity for taunting their wives with the want of it. And then there is no true woman but must feel, that in that one hour of sorrow and shame, she has paid an exorbitant price for the wealth of a world, could it all have been laid at her feet; were it subject to her control, how freely would she give it back, to have those words of bitterness unthought and unspoken! They were an insult offered to the defenseless, an indignity to the helpless, and "the iron" has "entered the soul." Men know nothing of all this, for the reason, I believe, that very few find any such fastidious scruples in their own bosoms. So they can "put gold in their purse," it matters little to them how they come by it; what they have that will they hold, and there is so deeply interwoven with every fiber of their natures a calm consciousness of power, a pervading sense of superiority, that it never enters their heads to suppose that any woman horn, can possibly think of them as inferiors ; (the poor conceited creatures how they are mistaken ;) but woman is a be ing of a different order. She is seldom allowed the dis posal of property, nor does she greatly desire it; for she has learned to feel that it is nothing to her, further than it administers to her present comfort and obviates the apprehension of future want. A cross-grained temper, or capricious will, often neutralizes one or the other of these advantages, and any man, possessed of sufficient energy to command the admiration and respect of a sen sible woman, can easily secure her the former. I, yon know, should never be able to comprehend how any "son of Adam" could confer a favor by wedding my 122 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. father's daughter ; then why should I subject myself to the living puppyism, or posthumous tyranny of any "wayward clod of marl?" If the old Roman laws did classify women and children as "goods and chattels," I know no precedent for considering men household fur niture, and see no reason why they should be expected to come "in a concatenation accordingly" among my ideas of matters and things. You see, I have law, and gospel, as well as reason and common sense, on my side yet, so no more about " caprice" if you please. Nature endowed me with a spice too little of vanity, and too much of pride, for a regular coquette ; a fact in natural history which you ought to have learned long ago, either from your own observation, or the philosophic acumen of the "right worshipful" Dr. Longtongue, one too, which you will please impart to any of your new found Athenian ac quaintances, who may have been heedless enough to contract an erroneous opinion. I regret to hear that that once delightful village is losing its social and literary character, while advancing in wealth and external prosperity ; " in my time " it was "like Paris in the days of the gay Boccacio, a place To know the reasons of things and the causes of the same as became a gentleman." Please remind your cousin, Mrs. O., that I made my "loyal subject" no "promise" in which she did not fully participate ; consequently, could only have agreed to go into " committee of the whole," and see what ways and means could be devised for his relief, "if in making the whole tour of the United States, he failed to dispose of his single-blessedness." In no supposable case did I ever stipulate to take so stale an article off his bands ! LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 123 It has not been in market so very long, to be sure ; but then it is considerably damaged by frequent exposal. I think one of his old "flames" used to say, "that no young lady of his acquaintance would ever die an ' old maid,' for want of having had, at least, one opportunity to inscribe Mrs. on her tomb-stone ; though, no doubt, he and other gentlemen think they all deserve to do so, for having rejected him, simply because others had done so before them. But that isn't the fair way of stating the case ; no gentleman likes to be made the pis oiler among his compeers : then why should not a high- minded, sensitive lady consider it a covert insult rather than a "compliment" (Heaven, save the mark! I wonder what these men think they are ?) for one of the bipeds to propose to her, after having made it obvious to herself and all her acquaintance that he would prefer half a dozen others, if they were to be had ? However, this sort of reasoning will not serve your turn, should he chance to address you a year or two hence ; so, if you happen to fancy him, (and, really, I see no reason why you might not,) do not be vexed if I say take Mm, for he would be certain to make a caro sposo of the first water; and you know he had never seen you when making love to your predecessors, a circumstance which makes all the difference imaginable. Now, in place of all this nonsense, I dare say I might be much better employed in reading you a wise lecture on the inexpediency of going abroad into society before leaving school. And, indeed, I should cavil thereat, if you were not situated exactly as you are at home ; first, because it creates the impression that you are several years older than you are; second, because it unsettles your mind for study ; and, third, because (if the whole 124 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. truth must be told,) I don't fancy being seduced into so much egotism as I find I am by your allusions to past times and old associates. The last time I wrote Stanley, I had to forbid him "speaking me any more speeches;" but it's no use trying to stop a woman's tongue, (or pen.) so I merely forewarn you, that, when " the eye of a painter, the tongue of a poet, and the brain of a philo sopher " happened to be located in the head of a woman, there is some little danger that the whole concern, (" the face of an angel " not excepted,) may be turned topsy turvy by such excessive compliments, coming, too, from such a source. If that doesn't suffice, I shall esteem it my "bounden duty" to apprise your honored papa, that, unless he keeps you at home next vacation, there is a remote possibility that you may, in time, become as great a gossip as any gentleman of his acquaintance. This may sound rather odd to people who hold to the old version and take it all for gospel ; but you, I pre sume, have often admired the consummate tact and great generosity of " the lords paramount," in making over to us, the "better half" of creation, not only the exclusive merit of their own excessive talking, but also the entire renown of their own extensive achievements in the tell-tale line ; and, really, they do deserve great credit for their cleverness ! Isn't it rare fun to see one of them pretend to rouse up from his book, nap, or newspaper, just long enough to say, " Do hush your foolish gossip," (how did he know it was gossip if he hadn't been listening ?) and then relapse, looking quite as wise and a little more virtuous than ever ; though he knows very well he has just absorbed the pith of the whole matter, and is now busy digesting and arranging it in a more available form. But " the cream of the LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 125 joke" is, to see old maids, and other old women, tricked out in borrowed plumes, as high -priestesses of Madam Rumor, when we all know they must derive their inspira tion, directly or indirectly, from the husbands, sons, fathers and brothers of themselves or their acquaint ance. I have been "takin' notes," mentally, on this subject, for years, " and, faith," I'd like " to prent 'em ; " but it would never do, for there would be all the primum mobiles so incensed at finding the tables turned, and themselves detected and exposed, that they would contrive some way to make their aids and accom plices feel so highly insulted at being rated as mere " cats' -paws" after having been considered principals from time immemorial, that poor Truth would fain have to betake herself to her old well again, and there's no telling whether she ever would make another effort to emerge ! jShould you find yourself rather annoyed and dis gusted by this undisguised exhibition of innate hauteur, just thank your own foolish temerity for the infliction ; and remember that your humble servant is more excusa ble for making Number One preside rather ostentatiously in her pages than you could possibly be, while residing among what are to both of us familiar scenes. So, in place of so much " foreign news," please oblige me with a little " domestic intelligence" in your next ! You will also please tender my best respects to your excellent father, and accept for " Charlie" and yourself the assurance of my unabated interest in your welfare. Yours, in all sincerity, LOUISE. 11 126 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. LETTER XIII. ON THE DECEASE OF A FAVORITE BROTHER. TO O. F. G. AND LADY. B e, Term., Aug. 25, 1836. MY RESPECTED FRIENDS: It is with great effort, though mournful pleasure, that I turn, at length, from the deepest gloom of self-com munion, to commune awhile with those I believe willing to sympathize with me, though it be not in joy, but in grief! You may have heard ere this, that the brother, for the furtherance of whose fortunes my sister and self were "strangers in a land not ours," is numbered no more among the living! But none can ever learn, save l>y bitter experience, how utterly desolate is the heart when its last bud of promise is withered its last hope is blighted when the solitary star is stricken from the horizon, how deep and hopeless is the darkness that en sues ! When last I stood by the grave of a buried father, I vainly deemed that fate had done her worst that come what would "the worst had fallen that could befall" vainly indeed, when at that very moment I was concen trating all the powers, and entwining all the affections of my nature around one, who was to me in place of all the social relations of life. But oh ! we dreamed not of this ! The thought of him, the noble, the talented, and the good, as the pride of his name, the ornament of " earth's high places," not as the tenant of the lowly tomb! To him we looked for a completion of the brilliant profes- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 127 sional career, which closed so prematurely in our father's early grave. For this have we endured hardship and courted danger, self-denial, and toil, " counting" not even our lives "as dear unto ourselves," when weighed in the balance with aught that "could minister to his pleasure or his profit." And now, the clods of the valley press heavily down on his young bosom; but colder and heavier far on the hearts of the living! And oh, the bitter agony of his last hour of consciousness, its specter will haunt me to the grave! True, he died not "un- tended and unmourned ;" but where was he ? Far away from the friends of his youth and the home of his child hood, and where were they who should have stood by that bed of death and soothed the parting spirit ? Far off on the distant paths of life, sacrificing ease, and health, and social intercourse, submitting cheerfully to care, privation, neglect, and indignity closing the aven ues of the heart to all affection that might beguile a thought from that shrine of the soul's deep idolatry, and counting it all honor and happiness thus to sacrifice and be sacrificed for him and all for this, for this ! Then, too, conies the maddening idea, that a knowledge of this absorbing interest in him was undoubtedly one cause of that " intense application " that accelerated his early doom. One of his classmates writes : "The physicians think your brother's disease a ' hectic, terminating unexpect edly in a brain fever, incurred probably by too early and intense application to study, after a partial recovery from a severe attack of typhus.' He died June 10th, and was interred on the evening of the 12th." o His mortal remains may incorporate with the valley of the Connecticut ; his memory there pass away with his 128 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. associates, but we shall remember! The one verdant spot in the wide waste of existence, the lone spring in its desert, they are not lightly forgotten, though the eye be gladdened no more with their beauty, nor the heart rejoice in their loveliness ! And oh ! He comes no more he comes no more The cherished dead whom we bewail ; But hopeless hearts shall long deplore The sleeper in that distant vale. He was the magnet that could bind, Thoughts, affections, all to him; The brilliant focus that combined, Rays of a light that grows not dim. The light of love that ne'er expires, Though hope no more may feed its flame; And wrecked ambition shun its pyres, To brood o'er dreams of baffled fame. He was the fountain at whose tide Our thirsty spirits turned to drink, "When other founts grew chill, or dried, As life hung fainting o'er their brink. We know that he has passed to lands, Fairer than all that wooed his stay ; But who that treads life's burning sands, Exults for streams, far, far away, It may be unmitgated selfishness too, that induces me to obtrude this expression of.my sorrows upon you, when I know that how much soever you may sympathize with me in this sore affliction, it is utterly impossible for you to realize how very, very different is his loss from that of a brother under ordinary circumstances ; and, there fore, as you have been pleased to evince a very cordial interest in my personal welfare, will endeavor to give LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 129 some account of my present position and prospects, though it seems almost sacrilege to think or speak of anything but him. I reside with Col., brother to Dr. C. H. B., formerly of your place. He is an old Virginian, energetic and public-spirited ; and both himself and lady make every exertion to render me comfortable as possible. With society I have little intercourse ; but what I do see is uncommonly good, and has every appearance of being perfectly harmonious. My health is similar to what it was during the early half of our acquaintance, and I am taking wine very freely, not that I care to be well, but because it is inconvenient to be sick. The school con sists of older and better classified pupils, and is conse quently more agreeable than that of your village; my "prospects " are said also to be flattering, but it is nothing to me now, and I am not flattered. When my thoughts first reverted to the necessity of some action in reference to the subject, I should have canceled the engagement unhesitatingly, could it have been honorably done. But it is as well perhaps as it is, having no longer an object in life, it is of course no object for me to live, and the remaining dregs in my cup of bitterness will probably be exhausted sooner in this way than any other. A similar feeling, I believe, prompted sister E. to accept the proposals of the gentleman who, you know, was disap pointed at finding me pre-engaged. The first half of my journey was as agreeable as could have been ex pected ; the last proved very lonely and fatiguing. Speaking of the route from Nashville, reminds me of the promise to recant my heresy, (if such I found it to be,) in claiming for New York the precedence over Ten nessee in point of natural scenery. 130 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Very possibly the cloud which had fallen on my hopes, might have cast a gloom over the landscape, obscuring many of its beauties, still enough remained to prove that I was not altogether blind to their loveliness, yet not sufficient to make me retract my former opinion. True, "the forests are not surpassed" by any I'ever saw, and there is almost a moral grandeur about the ancient elm, and giant oak, and lordly sycamore, and in these the South and West is unrivaled; and the stupendous "six days labor of a God " seems almost re-enacted in your presence, as" you bound rapidly along the narrow ridge, dividing ravines, which, as the eye vainly attempts to explore their verdant depths, seem as unbroken a wilder ness as when the sun cast his first warm glance of ad miration over the magnificent solitudes of a new-born creation ! But when the overwhelming tide of emigra tion shall have rolled its resistless wave over the whole length and breadth of the land ; when the improvidence of the settlers shall have insinuated their " wasty ways" into the inmost recesses of the now impervious wild, stripping the forest of its pride and the vale of its beauty; when the ruthless hand of civilization shall have despoiled the mountain of its crown, and driven Flora from her home in the dell ; where, then, will be the claims of Tennessee to compete with New York? New York ! with her hundred lakes and rivers, now re posing in some beautiful valley, soft as the smile of sleeping infancy, now dashing madly onward in scorn of all that obstructs their career! her magnificent high lands, with their " cloud-capped brows," and " hues all born in heaven ! " and the never-to-be-forgotten, peerless Niagara, the last impress of the finger of God on his own perfect creation ! LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 131 Oh no, I cannot yield New York ; though I can tell why Evelyn does not appreciate its beauties : she has not seen the half of them, Tier observation having been limited, chiefly, to the line of the Erie Canal, which, with the exception of a few fine points, intersects the least picturesque portions of the state, crossing sections of ten, twenty, thirty, and even sixty miles in extent, which would closely resemble the "bottoms" in the district, had not the careless woodsmen of the last cen tury, in their haste to effect a clearing, kindled fires, which stripped the forest of its foliage for thousands and tens of thousands of acres around. The hand of Time has partially repaired the ravage of man and the elements ; but hundreds of these skeletons of the past yet remain, lifting their scathed trunks, and naked arms and blackened brows to the sunbeams, and casting the gloom of their own desolation alike on their own up start children of the forest and the sons of their ancient spoliators ! In truth, it is not easy to imagine anything more dismal ; still, these are but specks on the fair face of the state ; yet, I fancy, sister's disparaging opinion of its scenery may fairly be traced to the disagreeable impression received, while an invalid child, from this very source. Being " scant o' room," I must close by tendering my compliments to yourselves and daughters, and the fami lies of Messrs. A., B. and C. Please say to the Misses D. that I will redeem the promise made them soon, though they must no longer expect to derive any pleas ure from its fulfillment. With great respect, I remain Your obliged and sorrowing friend, ^ 132 LETTEBS AND MISCELLANIES. "THEY MAY DEEM 'TIS THE LOVE OP ANOTHER." Explanatory Lines, addressed to Mrs. H. H. B. They may deem 'tis the love of another Wakes the tear that is falling from me ; But my heart's " one love," O my brother! Was given, in life's dawning, to thee ! Its dark'ning shadow o'er the soul No other love had power to cast ; For thou wert to existence's goal My guiding star through all the past. In thy grave there have perished The glad tones of thy mirth, And the hopes I had cherished From the hour of thy birth ! Proudly thy image rose before me ; But life is dim since thon art gone, And one, in thought, is bending o'er thee, Who mourns that morning vision flown ! Light smile and careless jest may seem A lighter spirit's echoing tone ; But, O my soul ! thy wand 'ring dream Is not of earth to thee 'tis lone ! Yes, " the last link is broken " That could bind me to earth ; For the death dirge is spoken O'er thy genius and worth I December 26, " AND PILATE SAID, 'WHAT IS TRUTH! ' " Aye, what is it ? Ages on ages roll, Yet bring no answer ! Millions on millions LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 133 Echo back that Roman quest ; yet still The spirit-thirst remains unslaked ! LIGHT for the darkened mind ! Helpless immortal, on the shores of Time I wander in a labyrinth of doubt : Coming, I know not whence tending, I know not whither I " Blind leaders of the blind ! O ye Do still persist in " darkening counsel," With high-sounding phrase, devoid of knowledge ! And God's own sacred Word, full of all high And holy things, is but a sealed book, Or one vast mystery, to minds like mine, Bound in "iron gyves" sectarian hands Have forged for human intellect ! Vain, vain but, O that I had never heard A text, or sermon, homily or prayer Till now ! Then Truth, with all her majesty, Might glide gently into my troubled heart, Charming its wayward thoughts to peace winning For guerdon, glad homage to her Author ! ****** My very brain is graven o'er and o'er With "creeds" and "proofs," and "commentaries !" I see the sophistry, yet feel its thrall Chafe in my bonds, but cannot shake them off! Unhallowed hands have grafted ?tuman thought Upon thy context, Inspiration ! I do detect the fraud, but not discern The truth. Philistines of the moral world, Ye have destroyed my mental vision ! Worse, worse ! ye do traduce your Maker 134 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. To his face! The MIGHTY MOCKEK! scoffing And taunting wretches he has made and marked For vengeance making fair show of pardon Not to be won insulting with false hope The hopeless ! 'Tis false! Ye paint a demon, Not a God; and meet for such the worship Ye award him. The spirit's mystic love For all of melody and beauty, What is it but unconscious incense That the soul wafts ever to its Maker, Untiring and untired? And yet, "'tis sin!" Life's noblest gifts must be despised ; Proud monuments of Thought, that genius builds For immortality a malison Is on we may not turn to scan you! Music, blest echo of archangel harps Pealing their mighty anthems through all time And space, thou too, ihou too, must be contemned ! Fair Flowers, that are the poetry of earth, E'en as the stars are that of Heaven, "Written with God's own finger on the page Of vast creation, ye too are under ban We must not dream to love ye ! " Diviners, Ye are mad! " Know ye full well What 'tis ye offer ? Scorn for His gifts, Scorn fit homage to Omnipotence ? T Tis impious! Away, away! never, No never! 'ueath dogmatists of sects And schools, shall quail the lofty spirit God hath given! * * * * LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 135 * * * Turn we to earth, Man writes No corollaries there ! The happy sun, And gentle dews, the loving light of night's Most holy eyes, efface the sullying Impress ! Father of life, And light! one beam from thy effulgence shed, To guide the deep, impassioned worshiper, Of "all that makes life, poetry, and beauty," From Nature's peerless shrine, up to the Throne Of Nature's mighty God! Sunday Evening, Augtist, 1837 Bright worlds of Nature, and of Thought, It is no sin to love you ! And blessed, Ever blessed be His name, who through The beautiful, has led me to the true ! The light of youth, of health, of hope, declines; The Star of Bethlehem never wanes ! Sept., 1843. LETTER XIV. NONSENSE-TENNESSEE AND SLAVERY. B e, Tenn., Sept. 10th, 1837. MY DEAR C. : YOUR very welcome epistle was yesterday received by the way of B e, N. Y., and I do hereby recommend my example, in the direction of letters, for your imita tion, until such time, at least, as the Post-Office Depart ment shall have made it necessary for its officials to 136 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. understand the contractions in general use for designating the several States of the Union. It is nothing uncommon for me to receive letters "forwarded " from B e, Pa., to B e, N. J., and from thence to B e, Tennes see ; and I have just learned that one of mine made a ten months' tour before arriving at its destination. Sorry to say I cannot inform you whether it had made proper improvement by its travels; sorry, also, that your re taliatory measure failed, (partially at least,) of the in tended effect, cause and consequence being alike buried in oblivion until you saw fit to turn resurrectionist. As the "adventure" might have amused you, I re gret not having related it all in due time ; but now can only say it was something about a handsome Dutchman, who thought it very miraculous that the tout ensemble of winter-stage traveling did not demonstrate me to be either an idiot or a shrew. "Whereupon the compliment he paid was elegant enough to have emanated from the pen of Washington Irving himself; but alas, and again alas ! it is forgotten, or it should be written down for the benefit of the "rising generation." Moreover, the said individual happening to hear me say of whiskers, (in reply to a lady who called upon me to condemn them en masse, out of special compliment to the carrotty ones of her husband,) that " in general I thought them rather a bearish appendage," did, in addition to sundry minor items, such as "hand, heart and fortune," actually lay the finest pair man ever wore at my feet ! While the nineteenth century can boast one instance of chivalric deVotion like this, it is base slander to say "the Age of Romance is over;" aye, or the Age of Folly either, when " a penniless lass wi' a long pedi gree," shall reject a gentleman of respectable talents, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 137 good general information, and splendid fortune, simply because he happens to want a classical education. Thank your stars, child, you were not in Tennessee, or your mittimus for a lunatic asylum would have been made out long since ! However, if Oarlton be the suc cessor, / shall only say, he is one of my prime favorites, whom I should be sorry to see walking in the footsteps of Ms predecessor. My compliments to him always, but tell him I am astonished at the want of humanity evinced in his tantalizing questions! "Fair and fat," is, to the best of my knoweldge and belief, the "beau ideal" of Tennessee beauty; so I, being only "fair," stand no bet ter chance here than elsewhere. And ought he not to know, the testifying to a disagreeable fact, is "gall and wormwood" to an unwilling witness ? And will it not suffice that one of the Fates spins my thread of the "black worsted," and the other forgets to clip it; but he must needs have assurance of the same under my hand and seal \ Oh the times ! Oh the manners ! To prevent the repetition of such scandalous impertin ence, thus much will I condescend : Should I ever fall away from the ancient and honorable, though unhonored, order of spinsters, I will proclaim my defection imme diately. Till then he must be content to know, that if it is my misfortune to be single, not my fault, that circum stance should excite compassion, not censure ; if the latter, I bide the result, there let it rest. A word to you en passant, my dearie. Is not the curiosity manifest in your formidable list of interrogatories, rather suspi cious evidence, that with you a certain coming event is casting its " shadow before," present appearances to the contrary notwithstanding? Beware! "Gather May garlands while 'tis May;" but do not "find other hearts 138 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES to fling away," if you value the peace of your own. You see I lay my injunctions ex cathedra upon you, in return for the unwelcome task imposed upon me ; but though reluctant, (as usual,) to do as I am bidden, sup pose I may as well execute your commission at once ; and should you chance to get rather more than you bar gained for, you will be less likely to send another order, I think. This same obnoxious / occurs too often ; but what is to be done, being in the singular, one cannot assume the imperial WE? My blessing on digression, how it helps one along, not with the story though ; so pour com- mencer : East Tennessee is said to be the roughest, most bro ken, and least civilized portion of the State ; but like the Middle, contains, I am told, much romantic and beauti ful scenery. The latter includes the Capital and most prominent literary institutions. The District, (between the Tennessee and Mississippi,) is about as picturesque as certain portions of Erie county were at the precise date of "that rather pleasant trip of ours" to the Falls. So close indeed is the analogy, that some of the hotels are perfect fac similes of the identical Dutch tavern you wot of, in the village without a name. But the resemblance ends here. This vast alluvion is rapidly emerging from its wilderness state, and bearing ample testimony to the enterprise, intelligence, and clear-sighted, liberal-minded policy of those who have sought for themselves, and their children's children, a home and a name in the bosom of a mighty forest. It is generally the hardy and industrious poor, whose only resources are stout hearts and strong hands, that are seen leading, with praiseworthy zeal, the vanguard of LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 139 civilization. Not so here ! The unusual number of opulent individuals who have brought their capital, their talents and influence to a new and wide field of exercise, forms a remarkable feature in the history of Tennessee. The children of the earlier settler must necessarily have wanted many advantages which they are struggling most nobly to secure to their own off spring ; and for this reason, I opine, would find small favor in your fastidious eyes, and you as little in theirs, I ween; for, though "love in a cottage" may do very well, yet " Love," without a plantation and plenty of negroes to tend it, would be sorely puzzled to find a resting-place for the sole of his foot in this valley of the Mississippi. "Disinterested affection" is not the guide sane people here charter for Hymen's portals ! This is spoken as matter of history, not reproach; for, though in the estimate of woman, ("whose highest ambition is to be loved even as she loves, with uncalculating sim plicity and unsuspecting trust,") such a state of things may seem mercenary, sordid, and heartless, in the ex treme ; still it has its redeeming features its bright as well as dark side. Where it prevails there arq fewer wives and daughters precipitated, by the loss of hus bands and fathers, from their stations in life and the enjoyment of all the luxuries which man's pride, if not his affection, ever strives to concentrate around his hearth, into the depths and degradation of poverty, to cope as best they may with all its attendant hardships and humiliations far fewer than where people are ad dicted to the folly of falling in love, " they know not why and care not wherefore." Many of the inhabitants are, for the present, domes ticated in log-cabins, and the gentlemen frequently 140 LETTEES AND MISCELLANIES. attired in " homespun ;" but you are to recollect that is, if you desire to form a correct opinion that they are no more to be compared with those you see in a like predicament, than were the courtly barons of olden time, who wrote their names with a "cross of the dagger," to the serfs, their vassals, who resembled them only in this unfortunate particular. Captious people will complain of course, it is their vocation, and the want of elegant society is a prolific theine ; but nowhere have I found a race more distinguished for manly bearing and "gentle courtesie" than the "bold hunters of the West." They want, it is true, the high polish of their Atlantic brethren ; but then they excel them in that liberality of sentiment which is a sure guarantee that, at no distant day, they will rank second to none. And, with the single exception of a lurking suspicion that everybody North of the Ohio and Poto mac is at least twenty years old at the moment of birth, and an Abolitionist into the bargain, the people of Ten nessee, as a community, are less the slaves of sectional jealousy and illiberal prejudice than any other states men of my acquaintance. When dressed for scenes of amusement or display, as churches, balls, camp-meet ings, etc., they would be apt to incur the epithet, "Parvenu," from the staid, Quaker-like, Dutch and Yankee aristocracy ; but it is mere difference of custom : the wealth that the one class buries in magnificent saloons, the other invests in the more portable form of jewels and " gorgeous apparel." The ladies are not as intelligent, in general, as those found in corresponding walks of life in the Northern and middle states, for the obvious reason that they are sent to school late and removed early, and have a per- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 141 feet conviction, while there, that the chances of forming an eligible match (the great object in life,) can in no wise be aifected by the improvement made of their time. Still they have acumen enough to discover that, let men talk as much as they will of the " charms of intelligence, dignity of manner, modesty, propriety, etc.," the precise modicum of sense which pleases them best whenever they come to act, is that which barely enables the possessor to discern, that, weak and ignorant though he may be in the abstract, her lord and master is talented and wise in comparison with herself. It is high treason to the majesty of man, I know, to accuse him of a feeling he is ashamed of, and will some times disavow in good set terms ; but let him declaim, if so he please : it is all moonshine when he has done. The lords of creation do, in their secret souls, believe " a woman is not a reasoning animal," only an amusing pet or useful article of household furniture; and the ladies of Tennessee have the sagacity to accommodate themselves to the real sentiments of those whom they wish to please, and affect childish habits and expres sions to secure their object. One of the former most in vogue is the keeping a running accompaniment to every thing said, on their watch-chains, finger-rings, and other personal ornaments. I set this down to affectation, be cause it is not practiced in circles exclusively feminine ; and those most addicted to it have been accustomed to the society of gentlemen from the cradle, so it surely cannot arise from diffidence. But let individuals once come to the conclusion that they can dispense with these fooleries, or that it is no concern of theirs what pleases or displeases the lordly sex, and they will soon vindicate their claims to the noblest of Nature's endowments. 12 142 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Early marriages are the only ones popular; and a lady fairly convicted, upon her own confession, of re maining single up to the time when most females in higher latitudes leave school, would stand in imminent danger of being condemned to the lonely walks of " single blessedness," or sentenced to the menagerie of some old widower for life. How far these early marriages, by imposing on children the exposure and toil incidental to overseers and tailors, may contrib ute to the short date of human life, for which the cli mate stands impeached, I shall leave physiologists to determine. Once wives, however, the ladies of the dis trict find little attention paid to Byron's suggestion } " that married ladies have the preference in tete-a-tete or general conversation ;" they are not even allowed the pre-eminence in "dipping," that is, eating snuff from the end of a stick for half an hour at a time, under pretense of cleaning the teeth. If you are still rather benighted as to the modus operandi, just imagine a bevy of ladies recently from table, or seated, perhaps, in a carriage, round a bottle of the darling "Scotch," plying their tongues and brushes with equal assiduity, and rivaling the most veteran " ohewer" in the dispensation of saliva; you will then be pretty well au fait to this interesting pro cess. Imitation is the height of flattery, you know, and the noun masculine isn't often squeamish enough to reject it, (in broken doses) ; but now, instead of being duly propitiated and properly grateful, the gentlemen are perverse enough to make swp0raaturally ugly faces, and insist that " it's very disgusting" It's all sheer spite, I haven't a doubt, and comes from "brooking no ' rival near the throne ' " (of the tobacco-worm I mean) ; but so it is, and I need not add that they to my LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 14:3 immortal envy of the toga virilis are almost uniformly spared the exhibition. Still the practice is veiy general, I believe a majority of the young ladies " tote a box." It is not my intention to claim for the other half of community, exemption from the common frailties of hu manity ; and it has sometimes occurred to me, that the Tennessee " code of honor" was graduated a little too much on the scale of interest. Or in other words, that there was a want of that stern adherence to Truth, which should characterize the man and the gentleman of that high-toned moral feeling which makes him regard his word as his bond, and feel bound by it as a prisoner to his captor, " rescue or no rescue." It may be, that the fact of having suffered personal inconvenience and pe cuniary loss from the exercise of this " Punic Faith," has enlightened me a little prematurely on the subject ; but I think I have set down " naught in malice" sorry indeed should I be to cast the shadow of a shade, on the good faith of a whole community, because a few individ uals in it had betrayed my confidence. From my earliest infancy have I been taught that, surrounded by crowds, I was to be emphatically alone , " among them not of them," an alien from human sym pathy, an exotic in the garden of creation ! It was a lone and desolate doom not spoken in kindness but it has wrought its own fulfillment ; and given me, at the same time, the unenviable faculty of looking on my kind as one might be supposed to do on beings of another species liable indeed to err from ignorance of his sub ject ; but not likely to examine it through the distorted optics of passion, or prejudice. I have set up a claim to infallibility, you see, it was necessary before entering on a topic discussed only by soi disant oracles. 144 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Pour Monsieur, votre pere, Je me n 1 etonne pas du marl de sa femme, d been warned by sneering lip, and eye Flashing in anger and in scorn ; and by A thrilling tenderness of look and tone, Whose melancholy sweetness haunts me yet, That /was born for this. I knew it well, E'en in that hour of tearless agony, When first returning reason vainly strove To put away the fearful consciousness, Of what mistaken kindness had concealed. It was not well ; they should have told me / Was fatherless ! That the radiant eye, Which ever turned with mellowed light to mine, Had closed on earth to ope in heaven. They should have told me that the smile so like To moonlight upon mist, or as the rays Of setting sunbeams on a ruined fane, Holy, and bright, and glorious, yet sad, Was now a gem for memory's casket Only ! They should have told all this, ere 1 Was strong to suffer and endure ; and then, Perhaps, I had not vainly yearned to feel 160 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. The cold, damp grave-clods, pressing heavy down Upon ray throbbing heart, so they would lay Me by his side e'en in the grave to seek Companionship denied on earth. But Death, (Grown dainty,) battens not on refuse food ; And therefore the unloved lived on the dead Mocking the living a bed of lava In its own crater frozen ! Such I knew Must be my life's brief history, not thine. Oh not for thee, thou young and guileless one, Were dark forebodings of untimely blight, And early death ! I had not dreamed of this For thee. Oh it is little, that the brief Vain struggle with despair, should shed the frosts Of age upon the brow of youth, pouring Contempt on manhood's pride ; but it is much, When stern oppression flings his ruthless grasp Upon the slumb'ring passions of a child, Scarce conscious of their name, and gifts them with A giant strength to war with fate! Then girds The mail of conflict on thy shrinking heart, Oh woman ! saying to such as thee, Go forth, and match with power, and cope with guile, And battle to the death in passion's warfare! Woe for thy budding hopes and young affections ! They are ever first and noblest victims In the strife. And woman's gentle nature, Her happy, trusting spirit, they, oh they, Are traitors and must die the death. I do Remember me of such an hour ; madly LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 161 Through all the depths of outraged nature,. Its very elements were nerved for strife, And from the mingled voice of agony, And love, and pride, there came a vow not heard On earth, but known in heaven, ever to guard And shield thee with the might of strong affection, So that no burning blight should lay its seal Of withering on thy youthful heart, bowing Its lofty aspirations down. Then, too, There came the stern resolve ; no Christian grace, Nor woman -weakness, nor love of God, nor man, Nor hope in life, nor fear of death, should win Me from my haughty purpose, ere I saw That spurner of the infant boy, bowed low Before the honored man, and scorn for scorn Returned the saintly scorner ! And well That vow was kept, till Death, the officious And unwelcome, interposed to cancel all. SHE, whose joy it was to make the fountains Of young life o'erflow in bitterness, HE, Whose pride had been to cast the healing salt Into the troubled tide Death, death, these Are thy chosen ! Wherefore, oh God, so sternly Hast thou tried thy creature ? I could forego The paltry triumph over pride abased, I might have spared the winner from the race Before the goal was won ; but not, oh not From out my inmost soul thy priceless love, My more than brother ! I was believing 162 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Hoping, trusting all for thee ; but dreaming Never once, that Death's stern hand was feeling For thy heart-strings, and mine not yet grown cold. Men talk of disappointment, when they mourn Some little germ of promise blighted, ere The touch of hope's creative hand had formed And fashioned it to beauty ! When the tree, The stately tree, whose stem was sown in hope And nursed in fear, until the heart's best blood Would flow like water out to yield its root One drop of moisture when this is stricken down, Before the very eyes that looked to it For shelter from life's wintry storms, and suns Of sultry summer eyes that had grown dim Watching its growth and watering it with tears ; Then, then 'tis felt! All, all is over now ; And that which was an adamant, and braved The fury of the elements in strife, Is now the veriest reed that floats upon The tide of time, unknowing where to anchor. God grant it may be on the "Rock of Ages." , Dec., 1837. TO THE LOVED IN HEAVEN. TWELVE weary years, twelve weary years, I've lingered on since thou wert gone ; Pygmalion's statue, bathed in tears, To mourn the breathing spirit flown. V ' And yet I would not have thee back, To tread with me life's thorny way ; LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 163 My heart's best blood is on its track, Oh God ! I would I were away ! Away from sin, away from strife, Away from doubt, away from fear, Away from all that makes this life A stifled sigh, a falling tear. I would not have thee back to grieve, O'er blighted hope and baffled fame ; I would not have thy heart to weave, Of burning thought, its pall of flame. But I would blend thy dust with mine, When in the grave I rest my head ; Earth has no love for me like thine, I would I too were with the dead. Lauderdale, Tenn., June 10th, 1848. FOURTH OF JULY ADDRESS TO THE SONS OF TEMPERANCE. Prepared for a young lady to deliver, with BIBLE and BANNER to a newly organized DIVISION. (iXSEKTED BY BEQUEST.) REV. SIR AND WORTHY BROTHER : As the honored agent of your humble auxiliaries, al low me to express to yourselves and the Sons of Tem perance in this town and vicinity, their high estimate of your incalculable services in a field where the immor tal seeds of Faith, and Hope, and Love are sown in time, to blossom and expand for all eternity ! But while millions are congregated to celebrate this anniversary of a nation's birth, let us remember, that 164 LETTEES AND MISCELLANIES. there are more potent enemies of human weal than for eign domination or political vassalage ; and not forget in the peans due to the past the untiring vigilance de manded for the future. The edicts of civil despotism may reach life and property, its chains chafe and gall the athletic form and sinewy limb ; but what are they to the "iron gyves " that eat into the soul, the fierce sirocco that scorches and withers up the brain, the cold palsy that paralyzes the will, the fell grasp that crushes out the very life of life from every phase of existence ? The regal or military despot may sometimes require a vic tim ; war here and there claim his holocaust. "JBut who slew all these?" ALL THESE, whose bones bleach and moulder from the shores of the Atlantic to the strand of the Pacific ? Who reduced that strong man to the helplessness of infancy who sent that venerable father, that soul- stricken mother, transfixed on many a spear from the broken staif of their old age, down mourning to the grave? Who betrayed those silver hairs to the dust, and soiled the glory of their crown with the mire of the street? Who bathed the face of that proud boy in scalding tears for a father's shame, and sent that promis ing young man to the scaffold, that stalwart form to the felon's cell ? Who dragged that minister of the Most High God from the very "horns of the altar," to wal low in the filth of his own degradation ? Who planted that moral Upas to distil its deadly miasma over all who repose in its shade, till the very breath of heaven "God's blessing breathed upon a fainting earth" is redolent and reeking with the foul effluvia of the bot tomless pit? Who wrested that last crust from the famishing daughter of affluence, and forced her to the LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 165 / gate of the alms-house, or the grave of the suicide? Who launched that young girl despair at her heart, a father's curse ringing in her ears, and a father's dis honor clinging to her name into that vortex where health, and innocence, and peace, and all are lost? Who forced that frantic woman to fly from the husband of her youth, and chained that living, breathing, sentient being to the foul and loathsome carcass of a soulless, senseless brute ? Who baptized that child in its mother's gore, and laid the wretched parent in a bloody grave by a husband's hand? Who turned that other home into a pandemonium, whose frenzied inmates would gladly choose "strangling and death rather than life?" Who transformed that once gentle, loving wife into an incarnate fiend who made her a foul plague-spot in crea tion, a burning stigma on her sex and race, over which angels well might weep ? At whose bidding does " Love " thus "laugh at faith," man's honor and woman's peace, all promise of distinction, all sense of security, all dream of happiness here and hereafter, flit away like the shadow of a shade? WHO is it that thus chases reason, and penitence, and pardon, and hope, and faith, from the couch of the dying, while the poor conscious-stricken maniac is already raving in the agonies of the " second death?" Ah, they vanish, " like the baseless fabric of a vision," before the breath of that " pestilence that walketh in darkness and wasteth at noonday," and the iron nerve, and herculean frame, and giant intellect, bow down al most without a struggle: and the "worm of the still" winds coil after coil of his serpentine fold around the unresisting victim, till thought, and life, and all, are strangled in his deadly embrace! And is there no 14 166 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. hand outstretched to save no bulwark for defense no shout "TO THE RESCUE ?" Oh, yes! they are coming aye coming from every valley and hill-top in our land, weak and impotent it may be in their own individual strength, but mighty as the overwhelming avalanche in the resistless momentum of concentrated power; and thank God, there is hope at last, that the progress of King Alcohol may yet be stayed ! It is because the noble "Sons," whom you this day represent, have enrolled their names in this band of moral heroes, that we, your few and feeble allies, would give to our admiration and gratitude a more enduring expression, than the trembling sounds which now vibrate on the air, in their passage to oblivion. And, therefore, we turn with one accord, not to diamond or opal, but to that "pearl of exceeding price, whose beauty shall not decay," for it concentrates and refracts the rays of Di vinity, to irradiate the wide circle of humanity. To you, Reverend Sir, the professed expositor of this Sacred Yolume, I need not expatiate on its noble simpli city and touching pathos, its unrivaled beauty and match less sublimity, its lofty morality, practical precepts, and ultimate bearing on man's character and destiny. Com pared with its luminous and simple ethics, how dark and complicate appear the most lucid dogmas of the ablest hu man casuist. As a science nothing can be more abstruse as a rule of practice nothing more clear and concise. It bears the impress of Divinity man did not make, he cannot destroy and when a God condescends to teach, should not all nature draw near, with humble reverence, and listen ? From his " golden rule," we learn " to raise up the bowed down," to " bind up the broken in heart and bruised in spirit," to sustain the weak, defend the LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 167 defenseless, RECLAIM THE ERRING, and "prevent the foot that is ready to slide." But what avails it to under stand the injunction unless we reduce it to practice? "If ye know these things," says our blessed Saviour, "happy are ye if ye do them." The voice of all nature proclaims to man " This, this is not thy rest ; "passing away " is written on all that life or earth contains ; yet how many choose to merge the nobler in the baser instincts of their nature, and turn their backs upon their Maker and the Most- High God, their Redeemer! Alas! alas! that man, " the worm, the god," should so prefer the reptile to the Divinity of his nature, forgetting alike his high origin and immortal destiny ! But it is even so : and here, then, is ample room for us to approve ourselves sons and daughters of God as well as of Temperance ; for here is a field wide as the area of humanity labor mo mentous as the interests of eternity. Let the infidel scoff, and the orthodox opposer range himself in open hostility to all benevolent association ; let the lukewarm friend virtually throw his influence into the adverse scale; but we must not falter! "We have put our hands to the work ; " and our earnest must not slacken into play ! " We have joined our selves to the battle ; and he that weuld turn back from the fury of the onset, "is as when a standard-bearer fainteth ! " For us for you particularly, young man there is no looking ~back ! The lip that predicts your failure, the voice that would lure you from your post, would be first and foremost to sneer at your weakness and deride your desertion. The very eye that now smiles in seeming contempt or indifference on your organization, might, perhaps, mourn in secrecy and 168 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. tears over its dissolution! Go on, then in the name of all that is sacred to man, all that is dear to woman, GO--ON! "Scorn not the smallness of daily endeavor; let the great meaning ennoble it ever ! " Take, then, this priceless legacy to a ruined world this chart, drawn by the finger of Omnipotence, to guide man, by Calvary's Cross, to the throne of the Most High. Bind it to your bosoms, till the spirit of its pre cepts has passed into your hearts and lives again in your lives ! Take, too, this fair banner ; turn your eye to its silken sheen: let FIDELITY be your crest; LOVE and PUKITY your " sword and shield ; " FAITH your talisman ; HOPE your watchword; ''upward and onward" your career. Faint not, falter not, till man recognizes man as his brother, and stands up once more in the image of his Maker "regenerated, redeemed, disenthralled!" " Men of : thought, be up and stirring, -^- Night and day; Sow the seed withdraw the curtain Clear the way ! Men of action, aid and cheer them *^ As ye may.' " Once the welcome light has broken, Who shall say What the un imagined glories Of the day ? What the evil that shall perish In its ray ? Men of thought and men of action, CLEAK THE WAY ! " A Fling your proud colors to the breeze ! and now, in the name of the God of Battles, go forth, " conquering and to conquer! " "Not for the brightness of a mortal wreath " not for the idle bravuras, the empty applause LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 169 of a transitory crowd O no! they would be insult and mockery in an hour like this but for the sublime as surance that " He which converteth a sinner from the error of his ways shall save his soul from death." " They that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firma ment ; and they who turn many to righteousness, as the stars, forever and ever ! " L. MIDNIGHT MUSINGS. My fate is dark my spirit high ; No voice of love thrills on my ear ; No smile of hope relumes my eye : My soul is sad my heart is sere. Friend after friend, I've seen them die, Or felt them change : dream after dream, I've watched their flight, all wild and high Their fall, in cold oblivion's stream. And Fancy folds her weary wings, And Genius checks his eagle flight ; A haunting gleam of shapeless things Is all of Thought's once gorgeous light. What is my love ? A worthless boon Back on the giver coldly thrust. What is my life ? A hollow moan. My requiem ? " Dust to dust ! " What have we left, my soul, to seek ? The smile of love, the voice of praise, When beauty wanes, is cold and mute As are thy lute's forgotten lays. 170 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. "What have we left! O naught on earth: The minstrel-eye, whose radiance flung A glory o'er the inner life, "Eye hatk not seen," nor poet sung: The minstrel- voice, whose echo stirred Within my heart a dream of song ; Earth hath not seen, time hath not heard A strain so wild, so sweet, so long : The spirit-wing, whose dazzling flight Spanned earth and heaven, and skies and seas, The spirit-crown, whose magic light Flung glory on the passing breeze: The spirit's MIGHT, that high o'er all In regal splendor bore its sway ; The spirit's LOVE, that knew no pall O God ! that these should pass away 1 The rest, the rest ! not theirs to cry The craven note, we fail! we fail? A broken plume, a shrouded eye, A trampled leaf these tell the tale. "Soiled with the dust of men," that wing, That angel wing in darkness lies : A naked thorn, a nameless grief, Is all of Genius' cherished prize. Alas ! thou wing, thou weary wing, Thou crown of glory and of pride, Earth may not heed, poor fainting thing, The life-drop ebbing from thy side. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Earth may not know from what a height That bird of song was stricken down ; Earth may not know the gems thou'st lost, Bright Genius, from thy starry crown. Alas, for thee, thou weary wing! The coil is round thee all too fast ; Too close to earth thy pinions cling ; A trance-like death hath o'er thee past ! O wing, O angel wing, arise, And plume thee for a prouder flight ! In vain, in vain the filmy eyes Are closing in eternal night. "Woe for thee, wing, O wayworn wing, Gone is thy splendor and thy pride ; God help thee now, forsaken thing, Not thus, not thus thou shouldst have died ! God of all life ! to thee we bring The ashes from a funeral pyre ! ****** "God of all life! to thee I string The chords of my neglected lyre ! " The rushing of that spirit- wing, How sweeps it now heaven's arch along, Its clarion note all high and clear " SALVATION" is my loftiest song! Life, joy, and hope, and all in all, My Savior, God, in thee I find ; Back to the earth I cast its thrall Ye may not stay the chainless mind. 172 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Hinder me not, frail child of day, My course is high, my pinion fleet Hinder me not ! Away, away, I'll lay my song at JESUS' feet ! " Ark., Dec. 31, 1849. FRAGMENT. . ' " " O Love ! thy altar is on high, Though burns its flame within the heart." SuTERMEISTEE . It is ! it is ! The voiceless grave Gives back the yearning soul no sound or tone : Earth's harps have no deep melody that thrills Through the lone chambers of the haunted heart, The song that heralds bliss immortal ! Thy home, O Love ! must be in heaven ! L. "FAE!" FAILI-IT DARE NOT THINK TO FAIL, Reply to the exclamation, " Ifs a wonder your EYE doesn't fail, with such bad health and little care!" " Fail ! " fail ! It dare not think to fail- Minerva stalking by its side, And Pleasure sighing o'er the vale For fairer hours to her denied. " Fail ! " fail ambition at the heart, Burning its liquid orb to coal ; While Health and Care still stand apart, "With wistful eye on far-off goal ! LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 173 " Fail ! " fail when golden Hope hath poured Her molten splendors on its hall, And wary Time hath grasped the hoard To hide it 'neath his fun'ral pall ! ' Fail ! " fail how could it fail, when Life Transfixed each glance upon a thorn, And sneering Envy marked the strife Fate waged with Pride, the better born ? Why should it fail ? Despair hath froze Its glacier light forever there, And Passion's Etna wildly throws Its lurid light upon the air. I've welded it in passion's heat ; I've cooled it with indifference's frost ; I've laved it oft in feeling's tide : Why should its splendor now be lost ? " Fail ! " fail ! They rest who " fail ; " But it still struggles with the wave ; It dare not reef its elfish sail, It may not rest but in the grave ! De Soto, March, 1850. 15 174 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. LETTER XV. ON TflE DEATH OF A YOUNG LADY, Silled by the accidental explosion of a rocket. TO MI88 F. F. F. S , La., Aug., 1850. MY RESPECTED FRIEND: Though I know how hard it is to meet the cold hand of a stranger in place of the dear, familiar trace we love, still hope to be excused for assuming an office which nei ther Mrs. L. nor her daughter are at present able to fill. Both have been ill since their partial recovery from the terrible shock of their recent and sore affliction : the former dangerously so, from an attack of inflammatory rheumatism. She is now convalescent, but too enfee bled in health and depressed in spirit to assume the correspondence of her deceased daughter, in addition to the numerous and arduous duties which she dis charged so entirely to the satisfaction of all, but the few who regretted to see her valuable life worn out in an ungenial avocation. You will, therefore, excuse me, if, in relating u every minutia" of the late sad occurrence, I repeat some things of which you are already apprised, and many which will be painful to hear. You ask " why, if there was but the one wound, was her dress so much torn ? " I can only 'say, that, being of a light fabric, it might, very possibly, have been done in the fall ; aj; all events, I know that it was torn from her body when all was over. But, save the one fatal mark, that fiery messenger most assuredly left no trace, except a small contusion on the right side of her nose, another near the corner of her mouth, and a slight LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. cicatrice on the neck of a little miss of twelve or thir teen, whose head your departed friend had just bent down on her own lap, telling her " not to be afraid I " And was it not a beautiful and fttting finale to such a life as hers, that her last accents should have been of kindness 'her last act one of mercy, that, in all human probability, spared another from sharing her fate ? You have certainly " the last letter," and, so far as we know, "the last line," she ever wrote. I spent most of the day with her on Saturday ; consequently, she must have written in the evening after I left ; and her sister recollects to have seen her seal and direct on Mon day morning. She then completed a small piece of fancy-work, and spent some little time in arranging a private sitting-room and other matters in reference to the expected arrival of Mr. P ; but declined enter ing on any more material occupation of her own, in order to devote the week to the assistance of a young friend in her bridal preparations. After this, she held with her beloved pastor a long and highly satisfactory conversation on the subject of experimental religion, and cheered his desponding heart by saying how peculiarly and singularly appropriate to her own feelings were certain portions of a service, over the apparent inutility of which he was mourning. In the evening, and for the first time in several weeks, she went out to make calls, accompanied by some young married ladies, whom, in her own quiet, unobtrusive manner, she incited to faith and good works ; continued more than ordinarily well and cheerful throughout the day, and while at supper, concluded "to go," as usual, *' on ''Nette's account" to the pyrotechnic exhibition, held a few squares distant. She was attended by her * . 176 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. esteemed friend, Dr. M r, a young gentleman whose amiable character and deep sympathy have since en deared him more than ever to her afflicted relatives ; and left in what were for her " unusually fine spirits," remarking gayly to her companion, u Let us old folks go ahead, and put these children (her sister and a married lady still younger,) behind us, where we can take care of them ; " and when the tramp of approaching footsteps was heard an hour or two later, her mother thought the whole party were returning "in high glee!" Having been suffering, for some ten or twelve hours previous, with a severe chill and fever, I was, of course, not present ; but understand that " Miss Celia (for that is the name by which we knew and loved her best,) took, either from choice or necessity, one of the high back seats," at the extreme verge of the inclosure, near the family of Mrs. S , mother of the little girl already mentioned. You are aware that, maddened by the pain of burning pitch, one of the performers unconsciously dashed down a handful of ignited matches on a bundle of rockets. Two or three slight accidents to persons and apparel are said to have occurred during the explosion, yet few knew or noticed that this was not intentional, consequently no general alarm was felt ; not a single scream was heard, and no eye followed the course of that ill-fated shaft; no heart dreamed of its deadly effect not even the child reclining in her lap knew she was hurt until she fell. "Somebody go for water" exclaimed Mr-i. S , who was the first to reach her ; "she has fainted /" Dr. M r started off in a run, but was soon recalled. " Come back, she is AWFULLY hurt!" added Mrs. S , who, in attempting to raise her from where she had fallen " altogether in a heap" * LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 177 and wipe off, what in the imperfect light was supposed to be perspiration, discovered the wooden fragment of a rocket, an inch or more in diameter, projecting from her right eye and out at the back of her head. Friends and physicians gathered round, the missile was extracted and arrangements made for bearing her home. "Her" no, not her, for once the crowd were right in their in tuition -it could be called nothing else for long before it was known how she was injured, or who was the vic tim, no one was heard to inquire, "Is she hurt? " " Will she die f " but voices in every part of the concourse ex claimed simultaneously, "She is dead!" And they were right, they bore nothing away but the shattered cask from which the priceless gem had been suddenly and fearfully riven, to be set anew in the diadem of our God. Some twenty minutes later I was roused from my first slumber by the appalling annunciation, '"''Miss Celia L. is dead!" "DEAD?" "Yes, she fell from one of the high back seats and broke her neck!" "She is breath ing yet and may live some time longer," interposed an older and more considerate person. "Thank God, then her neck is not broken," was my involuntary response ; and oh how earnestly did I pray that she might live only live ! But the hush of death, that brooded over the dense crowd that lined all the pavement without being able to gain admission, told me at once that there was no hope. And when I listened to the heart-rending en treaties of the almost frantic mother, " only to be allowed to speak once more to her child, and hold her hand in hers, while life should last," I mentally resolved that no effort of mine should be spared to gratify her, if it could be done with safety to life and reason ; or if that might not IT'S LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. be, to put away all physical weakness, all personal feel ing, and stand faithfully there in her place, to interpret between the living and the dead. I knew, indeed, from the hoarse and unnatural voices around, that mine could not be recognized, but hoped, by announcing rny name and suggesting certain signals, to obtain some answer to such questions as I should propose. The first glance told me how futile had been the expectation, how fatal to the mother would be the answer to her prayer, and I turned away, sickened to the very soul, that no accent of kindness could evermore reach that ear, that all effort was useless, all sympathy idle. It had been found necessary to station a sentinel at the door, to secure unimpeded access and egress to her father and the Rev. Mr. E,., and on entering I found a woman who was occasionally using a bowl and sponge, Mrs. S. and another lady, Dr. M and two or three older physicians, gazing, with folded arms and bloodless lips, in utter helplessness on the scene before them. I knew instinctively that it was useless, yet compelled myself to gaze long and earnestly, and even critically, on every feature, and line, -and motion, where reason, and thought, and intellect were not, till the eye absolutely refused to obey volition. It was not the low gurgling sound of the life-blood welling from the swollen and dis torted lip, or the ghastly orifice from which oozed the mangled and discolored brain; nor yet the appalling sound of those low unearthly moans, that could so have revolted the eye from a .form on which it had been wont to dwell long and lovingly. No, it was not any nor all of these, it was the conviction that it was mere matter, living, breathing, suffering matter, it is true, yet nothing but matter that lay there wreathing and writhing in the ! LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. agonies of dissolution. And wild, indeed, must have been the fancy that could trace, in those spasmodic throes of expiring nature, the voluntary and sentient ex hibition of feeling and consciousness, yet to make assur ance doubly sure, I remarked to one of the more experi enced surgeons and physicians, "There is no hope?" "None whatever!" "Can it be possible that she is in the least degree conscious?" "Utterly impossible! The nerve of sensation icas instantly destroyed she has known nothing could know nothing since! " And yet there are not wanting some, (less conspicuous for close personal observation, sound sense, and unwavering veracity, than the vulgar ambition of relating what no one else has heard,) who would fain persuade Mrs. L. that her daughter " was perfectly rational to the last;" and, of course, painfully conscious, that no mother's hand was there to smooth her dying pillow, no sister's voice to soothe her parting spirit. But do not you suf fer any snch absurd vagary to disturb you a moment why even little Emily S. knows better. "JVb, Mrs. L." (says she,) ii that she NEVER spoke" and her mother claims to have used something very like the expressions in question. You ask for the funeral next and a description of her grave. The cemetery now in use, is a mile or more from the central portion of town, and sickness, either of ourselves or others, has as yet prevented Mrs. L. and her daughter, as well as myself, from visiting the spot. But Rev. Mr. R,., (her dearest and most intimate friend, who, in connection with Dr. M , selected the spot,) tells us "We have put her away in a lovely grove, there to await the summons of Him who is "the resurrection and the life! " He delivered, in the parlor of the hotel, 4 180 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. not a regular sermon, but a most eloquent and appro priate discourse from Eccl., xii, 1st and 7th inclusive sung by himself, her favorite, "I would not live al- way," and was joined by as many of the congregation as were able to assist, in "Life is a span, a fleeting hour," a hymn which either was, or was supposed to be, the one which had impressed her so peculiarly on the preceding Sunday evening. Perhaps you would like to know-how we prepared her body for the grave. At the suggestion of Mr. B,., and in accordance with the not inappropriate custom which marks the distinction between matron and maid, her coffin was covered with white satin, but put on perfectly plain and neat, just as she would have had it ;. her form was arrayed, (by her mother's request,) in a simple Swiss mull, in which I had once before attired her, to grace the wedding festivities of a wealthy and fashionable bride, numbered, still more recently than herself, with "the pale nations of the dead." Her head was slightly in clined on the pillow, and the winding sheet and muslin shade draped so as to conceal as much as possible the disfigured side of her face, and over all were scattered a few pale flowers, (yon know how well she loved them,) typical of youth, innocence, hope, and immortality. A few pieces of Arbor Yitse were removed before closing down the lid ; they now mark in Tier book the hymns sung on the occasion, and will be retained in their place, by a slip of ribbon left from the decorations of her "nar row house," until the arrival of Mr. P. And now my young friend, for are we not friends in a common sorrow, let it not grieve you that your beloved Cecilia died, comparatively speaking, among strangers ; strangers perhaps as incompetent to appreciate her worth LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 181 as unable to excite a similar appreciation in return. Be lieve me, it is not so ! In this lite the " wheat and the tares " ever grow together, and here the weeds may pre dominate, and the elements of society be unusually slow to recognize their affinities, but she had begun to feel that they were amalgamating, and that there were some, even here, whom she would gladly include in her list of friends, no matter where her lot might in future be cast. And for herself, to you who knew her well, I need not say how ready she was, "to spend and be spent" in the service of God and man, so somebody would only take the eclat off her hands. But she could not always "do good by stealth," and pass undetected; and the deep and -solemn stillness which pervaded all our streets on that melancholy day, when the stern mandate, "dust to dust, ashes to ashes" was executed in our midst, and the frequent and unmistakable manifestations of sympa thy which continue to follow and surround the afflicted family, tell how strong was the lien she had made to herself, in a few short months, on the respect and af fections of an apparently callous and reckless commu nity. Since my arrival, in January last, I have been domes ticated with her for weeks in succession, and it has been rny happiness to enjoy, notwithstanding the disparity of years, (for she was nearly young enough to have been my daughter,) as much perhaps of her society and friend ship as was given to any lady of the place; and never before in my whole life have I witnessed such another example as hers. Not the first look, or word, or deed, can I now recall, which I could wish to forget, had each individual day been her last. Why were we not fore warned ? Why did we dread for her the insidious ap- 182 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. " proach of consumption ? We did see that " all her duties were fulfilled," we should have felt to quote again from her own expression that her "destiny was accom plished!" With the bereaved father, mother, brother, sister, and friends, there are many, very many, to sympathize ; but with "the widowed, though unwed," there are fewer it is to be hoped who can feel in unison. Still there is one, at least, among us who knows that "light and a joy from this earth have passed, that shall never no never return to him again," who feels how lone and dreary must be -the residue of his pilgrimage to that land " where lovely things and sweet pass not away." Mr. L. will write to him in a few days, and Mrs. L. has already set apart for his use every article of her daughter's which he may wish to retain. Some others, including a lock of soft dark hair, will also be forwarded to yourself, unless you can be induced to come on with Mr. P. Aside from the personal regard which would at all times ensure you a cordial reception, the knowl edge of your warm and long cherished attachment to her daughter, will now make you a thrice welcome guest on the darkened hearth of the mother. At her request I forward you some lines, intended solely for the family pale, but t rut I'f idness being their chief if not only merit, you will please consider them an evidence of deep re spect and -implicit confidence on the part of your un known but sympathizing Friend, LOUISE. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. TO CECILIA IN HEAVEN. " "Whom the Gods love die young." No stranger hand should sweep the lyre, No wreath but friendship's round thee twine, No colder heart should e'er aspire, To link its thought, or name, with thine. % -< The guileless spirit turned to thee, The passion-tossed, the tempest-tried ; The wand'rer on life's stormy sea, In trust, unbaffled, sought thy side. For thou, while in the world, wert not Of those who loved its changeling form ; And blessed art thou, that thy lot Is cast, beyond its smile and storm. No sorrowing for the loved ones here Hung heavy on thy spirit's flight; No parting pang, no mortal fear, Earth's shadow cast on heavenly light. "We know that thou hast passed to lands, Fairer than all that wooed thy stay ; Yet who that treads life's burning sands, Exults for streams, far far away ?" The parent stem for thee must pine, Another mourn life's vision fled ; "Earth had no love for him like thine, And that, and thou, are with the dead." 184: LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. A voice of wail goes up to heaven, Earth's sod is wet with many tears ; God stay the stem so sorely riven ! God shield the loved of woman's years ! LETTER XVI. TO AN UNFORTUNATE AND MISGUIDED FRIEND, Inserted in the vague hope that it may yet reach one, beguiled into a mesalliance of very doubtful legali ty, while in, (or near,) the state described by the old Scottish phrase, "A bee in the bonnet" , Louisiana, 1850. MY OLD AND DEAR FRIEND : IT is long, very long, since you and I have had any direct intercourse, and much easier to sever than reunite the chain of a broken correspondence, where the address is so precarious as ours ; but I know you will gladly over look some trifling annoyances, to hear once more the accents of kindness and affection from a friend of your youth. After repeated inquiries I have at length learned where you were at "the last advices," and that you "left under circumstances too painful and humiliating for the writer to disclose or me to learn;" but recollecting one of our later conversations, can readily divine that after your cousin Jane's decease, the house of her husband became a perfect Pandemonium to you, till wrongs, insults, and indignities without name or redress drove you at last to desperation. For "desperation," indeed, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 185 it is, my dear Aline, for weak, powerless woman to rebel, in the smallest iota, against the conventionalities established for her perpetual subjugation ; and well is it for her, that there is ONE TRIBUNAL still to which she can appeal from the injustice of man's dominion, ONE BAK where the servant is free from his master, and the op pressor held responsible as well as his victim. You, my dear unfortunate friend, were incapable of reflecting calmly upon this or any other subject, when, in the madness of passion or frenzy of despair, you de scended from your station in life and wedded your fate to the Prof, of Animal Magnetism, said to have gained such " complete MESMERIC CONTROL over you " in a cham ber of sickness which you could not with propriety shun. If this were so, you certainly were not a free moral agent, and ought not to be held responsible as such, though the cold, carping, busy world has no time for such nice dis criminations between the "sinned against" and the sin ning. But oh, these " sir owls " that sit in the arcana of science, and slumber and sneer on the confines of a mighty mystery, why, why will they not arouse to inves tigate and define the laws that govern this subtle agency ? If a half-crazy philosophy has caught the inkling of a magnificent truth, and diffused it through a world of chimera, it surely is not the part of wisdom to leave it there in sole possession of visionaries and charlatans. Your companion is, it seems, one of its professed ex ponents, but as I make no inuendo insinuations and mean no unprovoked and useless outrage on his feelings, or wanton insult to your own, you, at least, must excuse my seeming remember it is only seeming cruelty in saying, that I too think it just possible, (under existing circumstances,) that you may not be his lawful wife. 186 LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. Forgive, forgive, I know how deeply I wound, and would to God I could present these unpalatable truths in a less painful light ; but as sure as there are immortal interests at stake, I almost hope you are not, though otherwise, I know that not the purity of an angel of light could shield you from the imputation of occupying what all men, with a scarce repressed sneer, would call "a not very equivo cal position" while all women would cry "amen," though less perhaps from innate conviction than the selfish, ignoble instinct of self-preservation. I say all women, because the few who would dare, (or care,) to be just, are seldom in a position to make their remon strance felt. But when this mental hallucination shall have passed away, and this mystic influence have exhausted its power, as soon or late it most surely will, and old habits of life and modes of thought begin to resume their ac customed sway, then your proud, sensitive spirit will chafe u like 'a lion in the toils," and this is one reason why I hope you are not bound for life to one, who, in the pride of human intellect, has, I am told, taught you to deride your Maker, and scoff at the name of your Redeemer. Oh Aline! Aline ! can this be so? Alas, I fear it may; for am not I, too, guilty, most guilty of having, in days that are past, fostered your incipient doubts by so freely expressing my own. I was older than your self and should have reflected oftener than I did, that if there were no reality there could be no counterfeit. And yet it was never the occasional aberrations insepar able from human weakness, nor even the impious and systematic hypocrisy exhibited in "the high places of the sanctuary, that made me once doubt what religion LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 187 was, half so much as the preposterous and abstruse metaphysics, "crammed into my youthful ears against the stomach of my sense." It is much to be regretted, that some zealous modern religionists should labor so hard to supersede the Apostolic definition of that reli gion which is "pure and undefiled before God and the Father ; " however, you will learn my sentiments on that head from the inclosed soliloquy.* True, you may not think it either learned, poetic, or wise ; but you and I are not wise, Aline, at least I am not, and I have no present so do not destroy my future. Life has to me been a weary warfare; after suffering and toil there must needs be repose, and where else can we moor our shattered, tempest-tossed barks more securely than on the Rock of Ages? "Man must have some belief" says the melancholy but gifted priest of Apis, so I say, with the dying mother to her noble but misguided son, "CHARLES, CHARLES! give me back my FAITH give me back my hope of heaven!" You too need higher consolation than earth has to impart; for I know that you have suffered that you are wretched ! The delirium, or the torpor of excitement cannot last forever; the reaction, with its "after hour of gloom," must come, and the bitter pang of self- reproach, or distrust, mingle with the sad, sad tears that fall over the blight of your early promise. May God and you forgive me for having left you to struggle alone against such talents and influence as were combined for the subversion of your faith in all moral excellence! The atrocious and unnatural villain ! I can scarce say, God forgive Mm; for this is his work his! He took * Piece entitled, "What is Truth." 188 LETTEBS AND MISCELLANIES. you, a young, sinless child, generous, noble, high-minded and pure; and what has he made you now? Whom did he, "in the livery of heaven," make his own inti mate friends and associates of one who should have been dear unto him as a daughter, but men infamous for their conjugal infidelities, and open and avowed infidels, who could shamelessly congratulate themselves in her pres ence; that "such talents as his would not long submit to the FLUMMERY of pretending to believe in Chris tianity ? " Yes he it is none so much as he who is guilty, guilty before God of your moral degradation ! Forgive me if I did, or do, either of your parents injus tice even in thought; but I should have advised you to confide in your mother, had I not known one woman, who would have been a mocking fiend instead of a faith ful friend or judicious counselor on such an occasion, and feared that you might know such another. And besides, I hoped that a happy and honorable marriage would soon extricate you from a position of such pecu liar delicacy and peril, without hazarding the frail ten ure of kindred and domestic peace. But I was wrong, all wrong; yet what has the world done for us, that we should cling to it so fondly and wish to consider it the ultimatum of our existence \ You and I had beauty, Aline, (and you may hare it still,) but for want of the golden setting it availed us not. We had also talent so at least the world was pleased to say well, that too was useless. It did not suffice to break the chain that bound us to an evil des tiny, worse than useless ; for by enabling us "to see all others' faults and feel our own," it eminently unfitted us for plodding with becoming zest through the tread mill-pace of our every-day life of weary toil, or more LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 189 galling dependence, while the "sickness of hope de ferred " wasted away the first freshness of our youth in vain yearnings for a freedom and independence that might never be ours. But is not this intense, restless longing for something higher and better than earth has to impart this daring contumacity which refuses to swallow all sorts of paradoxical creeds, without having the presumption to think of understanding them, "an undying evidence that there is divinity within us that will not be forever 'cabined, cribbed, confined,' or re solved again into the material elements like the frail tenement in which it is enshrined ? " Yes, yes, it must be so I feel that I am immortal, that I have an expansive, never-dying intellect ; and never, never, be it said of us, " That we were born Taller than we might walk beneath the stars, And with a spirit, tempered like a god's, Were sent forth blindfold on a path of light, And turned aside, and perished ;" for oh, "how poor is the rich gift of genius," if it servo only to light us to perdition. You do not know how deeply I grieve over whatever may have been your errors or your wrongs ; Agnes, too, mourns over you as a sister lost speaks most gratefully of your kindness to her in the hour of sickness and sor row tells of your unwearied devotion to the children of your cousin Jane, (she was always good and kind to the last, and much more like a relative than her hus band, was she not ? ) and I do hope you may yet meet a reward even in this life! If not, "there is a land, I name not here, where we may meet again ; " and may "peace, the peace of God that passeth all understand ing," yet enter into your soul, and keep your heart and mind in perfect peace." 16 190 LETTEES AND MISCELLANIES. But I have not done; should a time ever come when even you can struggle no longer against the conviction that your present connection is one which it is right and proper to abandon, it is quite possible that the father, who it seems has not interposed for your protection hitherto, may then close his doors too, against his err ing and unfortunate child, more especially if he have other daughters still under his roof. Excuse me if I speak too plainly, I mean not to wound but to heal, and what I would say is this : Should that time find me possessed of a home where there was none to overrule my will, that home should be your refuge against " the strife of evil tongues," if you choose to accept it. But alas ! this is a visionary hope, for there is far more prospect of my arriving speedily at " the house appointed for all the living," than to any other of my own. Teaching is so perfectly suicidal to me, that for every year that I serve it takes me at least two to recruit ; of course I am always sick and always poor. Now I am hopelessly in valided, and my LITERARY and last resort is all untried as yet ; but my kindest wishes and fervent prayers are yours, and the best counsel and most efficient aid in my power to bestow, shall also be at your service when ever you think proper to claim them. If the world were more truly virtuous it could better afford to be a little less censorious; but should its cold suspicious wisdom judge me harshly and unjustly for this, some gentle one has already prepared a most beautiful and appropriate reply : " Think gently of the erring, Te know not of the power, With which the dark temptation came In some unguarded hour. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 191 Ye may not know how earnestly They struggled, or how well, Until the hour of weakness came, And sadly thus they fell. " Think gently of the erring, Oh do not thou forget, However darkly stained by sin, He is thy brother yet. Heir of the self-same heritage, Child of the self same Godj He hath but stumbled on the path Thou hast in weakness trod ! "Speak gently to the erring, For is it not enough That innocence and peace are gone, Without thy censure rough? It sure must be aweary lot, That sin-crushed heart to bear; And they who share a happier fate, Their eludings well may spare. " Speak gently to the erring, Thou yet mayst lead them back, With holy words and tones' of love, From misery's thorny track. Forget not thou hast often sinned, And sinful yet must be ; Deal gently with the erring one, As God hath dealt with thee ! " It is not well to outrage wantonly or needlessly a single prescription of the world it is very far from well to suffer the weak, cowardly fear of its censure to deter one from so obvious a duty as the effort to "save a soul from death," and to those who think and act differently, I would merely say, " let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall!'* I expect to leave soon, and my future address is un- 192 LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. certain ; but you can inclose, (for you will write, will you not?) to Dr.* * *, of this place, and he will redirect and forward wherever it may he necessary. Your sincere and sorrowing friend, LOUISE. LINES SUGGESTED BY AN OLD PRINT; In which a, faded beauty catches unexpectedly the re flection from a mirror, while looking over poetic and other mementoes of l>y-gone days. AND can it be this faded brow "Was once a shrine of beauty rare ? That round this sunken cheek, there waved Such wealth of "silken chestnut hair," That poets vowed " earth had not seen A face, or form, more passing fair;" And matrons cried, "that hand, I ween, Time may not set his impress there: " And wits averred "the matchless shrine + JScarce worthy of the gem within ;" And the frail mortal deemed "divine" (God knows it was a grievous sin.) Yet manhood's voice indorsed the line, And youth, and age, declared it sooth ; And lovers knelt their life to tine In worship of " the spirit's truth \ " The fragile cask is shattered now, The living pearl within grown dim; Poet and lover ceased to vow In heaven they peal a loftier hymn. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 193 And I can scan my altered brow, Nor mourn its parted, wasted sheen ; Ages of bitter mem'ries roll Me and its primal light between. River, and lake, and Alpine snows Hide all of earth my soul could crave ; And there, in dreams, my spirit goes Each spot 'tis hallowed by a grave ! And yet their shadow may not blight All of earth's lonely, farewell strand ; Life is not all a blank, while light From heaven illumes its ebbing sand. September, 1850. LETTER XVII. TO A YOUNG LAWYER IN WASHINGTON. Treatise on Law, Morals and Politics^ Caddo Pa., La., Jan. 1, 1851. MY DEAR I suppose I must not say, my little cousin, though I can scarce realize that the urchin whom I left some fifteen years since is now a man, in stature and intellect. But what have you been doing, I should like to know, more than " elevating the ancient Henry" after the most approved fashion for modern youngsters, that your loving and judicious sister should invoke the contents of my ink-bottle for your unsuspecting head ? Nothing worse, I hope, than evincing a stronger predilection for political 194 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. life than she thinks expedient for you to indulge under existing circumstances ; but if I am to be privy counsel, and lecturer-general, it is proper I should be advised of the precise nature of your peccadilloes, you know. And, seriously, dear Clarence, there may be some thing more than woman's caprice under your sister's apprehensions ; for, indeed, I scarce know, myself, whe ther to regret or rejoice at your success, out of the im mediate line of your profession. That profession, it is fair to presume, was one of your own voluntary choice ; it is, at least, an honorable one, despite the "quips and quirks, and paper bullets of the brain," launched against it from time immemorial: thanks to its mere fungi, or parasitic excrescences, whose highest ambition is to "live of the law," by torturing the body till they wrest it from the soul. May YOU never forget that the end of ike law is the administration of justice ; and ever remember that no man can truly elevate himself without enno bling, instead of debasing by the leprosy of his own meanness, any profession that he calls his own ! Law, however, is said to be a jealous mistress, and, if so, can hardly be expected to tolerate a rival who will inevitably engross much of your attention, and scarce find your most untiring devotion at all commensurate with her own mighty exactions. I speak of politics, in the legitimate and nobler sense, not of the mushroom, long-tongued spurise, indigenous to bar-rooms, debating- clubs, town-meetings, and other institutions for culti vating the gift of the gab, which ought, like sewing societies, to be indicted for public nuisances ; though even this vapid, shameless brazen-face has often much oftener, no doubt, than the real Simon Pure proved fatal to the prospects of many a " rising young man," LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 195 whose hopes once pointed to a far different goal. But it cannot be this impudent "Ne'er-do-weel" that has ensnared your "youthful fancy: " no, I hope and expect better things of you ; and know, too, something of the obstacles that repel, of the contretemps which beset each avenue to legal distinction, while the youthful aspirant is struggling against fearful odds for a place side by side with the master-spirits of his order something what it is to run the gauntlet, in a city like yours, among those less incumbered, perhaps, than yourself, with the independent spirit, morbid sensibility, and in adequate fortunes of an old but impoverished race. But it is the first step that costs ; and you, it is said, have achieved, much earlier than usual, the reputation of being "a very promising young lawyer;" so now, if you have only the energy and ability to maintain the race, equibus passibus, the rest will be comparatively easy : if you have not, Heaven help you ; for what and where are your qualifications for a statesman ? And further, your reception and subsequent success at the bar may have been flattering ; but your position can hardly be so assured as yet that you could hope to resume it some time in the indefinite future, without going all over the same or a worse ground and that you would hardly fancy should experience demonstrate your own unfitness for a high political career. But the misfortune of it is, so few ever do discover their own unfitness, though it may be palpable as day to others ; for the thick veil of self-delusion obstructs the percep tion, and the "iron gyves" of habit bind them so fast to an accustomed sphere, that they linger on, on, in the protracted agonies of hope deferred, till they sink at last with tempers and feelings soured and imbittered 196 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. by the secret goadings of a restless and insatiate ambi tion, and the galling consciousness of unappreciated, because misapplied, talent into the sniveling, sneer ing, querulous misanthrope, or more despisable hack of " the little great," whom neither " gods nor men endure ! " I speak feelingly of the despotism of habit, for has it not bound me, for years, to a calling from which I recoil with an aversion no tongue can describe, by the simple process of making it all but impossible for those who might otherwise have broken my chain, to think of me, or for me, except in connection with that avocation ? And you^know, I suppose, why the paralytic of old be held, when the waters were troubled, others stepping down before him. May I not, then, with reason, depre cate the possibility of seeing those fatal though impal pable links slowly but surely encircling your whole moral nature, while you know so little, and I so well, " how hard that chain will press at last ! " And God defend and preserve you, and all I hold dear, from ever degenerating into that fag-end of all contemptibility, a mean, cringing, supple-kneed, time-serving sycophant and demagogue ! Thus far, no such venomous dragon's tooth has ever yet desecrated the family name by his own unmitigated infamy, or infused the gangrene of his viperous baseness into the blood of our race; and ' k Heaven forefend" that any of its future representa tives should ever have cause to blush for so foul a stain on the honor of their forefathers ! Not that I care, though, very particularly about those any longer before than our own immediate progenitors. The solemn, conceited prigs ! What right had they to fold the mantle of their olden dignity so calmly around them, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 197 and sit quietly down in the selfish enjoyment of hered itary independence, and make no provision for the future ? None; so, as for the more remote ancestry, his royal and gracious majesty, the First Charles, might have had my full and free permission to "compliment" every soul of them with the ax ! * This may sound rather harsh; but why should posterity care for those who cared never for them, or aught" else save their own ease, since the very memorable, "never-to-be-forgot ten" (much to be regretted,) "day," "when that stalwart band of hard-headed, half crazy, self-righteous fanatics, poetically styled the "commonwealth of kings," squatted themselves down on Plymouth Rock one bitter cold morning, with the godly intent of praying and shooting Indians just whenever they thought proper ? Now, had they been men of shallow, common-place minds, instead of being what tradition says they were, such a course of procedure would not have been so very surprising. But you know or, more likely, you don't know that the late Mr. S (himself a man of no mean talents or attainments), used to say of our grand father even, that he never felt himself "so completely overawed, and so much like a pigmy in the hands of a giant," as when coming in contact with "his intellectual powers ; " yet he, I think, never considered himself, or was considered, the equal of his father and elder brother. But what were he and they, and all the " mute, inglorious Hampdens" the world ever saw, good for, I should like to know? If he never "said a foolish thing," I am sure he never " did a wise one," unless his giving the *Vide Sir Robert "Walpole : "He deserves the halter for running Lis goose's neck into such a noose ; but, in respect to his noble blood, I suppose we must compliment him with the ax." 17 198 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. five-and -twenty legacies left his country in the shape of children and grandchildren and for which I don't see that that same country is at all the wiser, richer, or happier, or any way specially bound to be grateful some little chance for good old Milesian blood and mother- wit, comes under that category. You see I don't exactly mean to insinuate that all the intellect has gone out with the black eyes and patri monial acres ; nor have I the slightest intention of un derrating your abilities. Of mere talent, I dare say you have quantum suff.; most of the family have even now; but that is a minor consideration. For you may, as Clara intimates, be " abundantly able to keep your own counsel;" have any reasonable amount of patri cian nonchalance and hereditary obstinacy -fiiinness it is proper to call it, is it not, when developed in the mas culine form ? your perceptions may be clear and rapid as intuition ; your thoughts concentrated and vigorous almost to a fault ; your mind sufficiently comprehensive in its grasp ; and you, to crown the whole, be thor oughly persuaded of your own transcendent merits, and yet, and yet want many a sine qua non for a statesman. Have you the far-reaching benevolence that feels for humanity as its brother; the lofty magnanimity that could nerve you, if need were, to sacrifice not only your own, but the interests of your dearest earthly friend, on the altar of your country's weal ? Is your frame tem pered of iron, and your spirit " to the happy callosity of an oyster ? " If not, depend upon it, you are most unfit for the guerilla warfare of political life. You may " enmail your soul with high endurance," and bear up bravely for awhile, to all external appearance ; but, soon or late, the iron will be found to have entered the soul ! LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 199 Oh, I fear for you, my young cousin ! If you have naught but the fragile constitution and highly nervous temperament of your paternal line if, in short, the blade be too keen for the scabbard what boots it that you start gloriously on your career that your sword flashes brightest in the onset, and men look on in won der and in fear ? It cannot last, and, in some inauspi cious hour, the faithless steel will betray its trust, and leave you to be borne down in the conflict by mere ani mal power, or distanced in the race long ere the goal be won ! But, supposing you have all mental, and moral and physical endowments, in rare and almost unprecedented perfection, you may, you must, still want one essential element of success ; I mean pecuniary independence. How can a man, harassed by the ever recurring ques tion " What shall I eat and what shall I drink, and wherewithal shall I be clothed" bring the full scope of his mind to bear upon the exposition and adjustment of intricate and conflicting claims ? How can he give his undivided energies to the solution of a disquisition, subtile in form and complicated in bearing ? We are, at best, but frail, erring mortals, with human wants, human weakness, and human causes of annoyance indissolubly intertwined with every fiber of our nature, every rami fication and phase of our existence. And how is it pos sible for a being so situated always to abide, unflinch ingly, by his own conviction of what is just and right, when all the world his political world I mean cries out that he is " mistaken" that he is "wrong;" and the very bread, perhaps, of those dearer to him than his own life, absolutely depends on his yielding his "prefer ences" at the imperious edict of an overbearing mob- 200 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. ocracy, ever ready to apply the thumb-screws of official torture to the soul ? It is easy for the casuist to lay down his inflexible rules, and say it must be thus and so; very easy for the looker-on to hurl invective and denunciation at him who swerves, in the smallest iota, from his criterion of what is proper and right ; but, de pend upon it, dear Clarence, there are emergencies which try men's souls far more than the unequal con test with physical power. Do you recollect Goldsmith's half-earnest, half-jesting epitaph on the living Burke, whom he declared " equal to all things, yet for all things unfit ; " and is there not deep and melancholy significance in the fact that the assertion of his having "narrowed his mind, and to party given up what was meant for mankind," follows, almost as a natural and inevitable sequence, from the prior declaration that he was " too poor for a patriot," though "too proud for a wit?" Think of all this; think, calmly and dispassionately, before you venture on giving the "unspiritual god" such vantage ground as may ultimate in the subversion of your moral in tegrity. I cannot fear that a son of your father's train ing should want moral feeling sufficiently high-toned and acute, and I would not doubt the stability of your moral principles ! But yet, with all the wealth of your young 'affections, all the pride of your early manhood and conscious power, you are but the veriest novice, after all, in the tortuous, Machiaveliau policy of secta rian, sectional and political intrigue and diplomacy. And let me remind you, once again, my "high-reach ing" cousin, there are, there must be, many occasions in a civic career which require something more than the pride of opinion, the abstract conviction of right, or the LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 201 quiet, stubborn, innate hauteur of all your race, to pre serve one's honor and conscience unsullied and pure ! Thus far, we have been looking through a microscope at the petty affairs of this every-day life : now let us take up the telescope, and look, for a moment, beyond the stars ! Ah, the things that are SEEN are temporal the things that are UNSEEN are eternal! Here then is a subject, worthy the mortal heir of an immortal des tiny ! And if it be so difficult for the young to turn away from the present and bring the far-off future near but for one short hour so "very hard" for "a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God," what must it be for him who has gone on from youth to age, linking him self closer and closer, with each revolving year, to the hopes and schemes, the passions and interests of this transitory life, till the frosts of many winters settle on his brow, and the fading eye, and feeble step, and tot tering form, proclaim, too clearly to be misunderstood, that "the places which now know him shall soon know him no more forever ? " What must it be, I say, for such a one to unwind all the subtile chord of association that binds him with its thousand links to old habits of life and modes of thought turn away from earth its cares and vicissitudes, its pleasures and honors, and seek. " 'Mid the green places of the soul, For that pure, life-giving tide That wells with hope, and love, and truth, The fountain of perpetual youth ?" The last twenty years have, it is true, furnished two eminent instances of this high moral effort, but they stand on the barren field of political life, almost unpre cedented and alone in their solitary splendor rich moiiu- 202 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES ments of the superabounding grace of God, and lofty beacons to warn alike the undistinguished throng and their gifted compeers "in that stern strife which leads to life's high places," that this is not their rest that man has another and a loftier destiny. And well was it for the owner of one of those immortal names, "that were not born to die," that the disappointment so gaHing to his country's pride, so disastrous to its interests, se cured to him, it may be, in the calm shades of domestic retirement, that "more convenient season" that might never have been found, had he been encumbered with the care of a nation's weal ! And well, indeed, is it, if 'Standing on what too long he bore, With shoulders bent, and downcast eyes, He has discerned unseen before The path to higher destinies." But oh how often, how often, does the recurrence of adverse examples admonish us, more eloquently than a thousand tongues, to "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." How is it with you, my inexperienced cousin ? Have you given your " human heart to God in its beautiful hour of youth ? " If so, let the tempest of life and the surges of faction howl and madden around you as they will, they cannot unmoor the bark that is anchored se curely on the " Rock of Ages." If not, let me entreat you to remember, that "he builds too low who builds beneath the skies." For were it indeed possible, that the holy hope of the Christian should eventually flit away like the dream of a dream, it is still something oh yes, it is much that the weary in heart and broken in spirit, can yet hear a voice crying unto them, "Come unto me all *. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 203 ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Much that the homeless and desolate can still be enabled to feel, that in their "Father's house are many mansions," and look up from "life's endless en deavor" to that rest in the skies, in the fullness of un wavering hope and unfaltering trust ! For myself, the dew has long since vanished from the rose, the sparkle from the wine of life ; but not for that would I cast the shadow of its evening cloud over the brightness of your morning prime. Nor would I put you again in leading-strings, or say of any particular line of exertion, "This is the way, walk ye in it" Far from it ; all 1 wish is, or rather, (what is much more to the purpose,) all, 1 presume, that Clara wishes, is, that you should weigh yourself viett noiv, lest you should hereafter be weighed in the balances of two worlds and found "wanting" But let others think as they will, it surely is not for me. who knows so well the cost and consequences of attempting to chain, and task, and torture the rebel will that chafes and struggles to be free, wasting, in vain effort, the strength that might otherwise have launched it gloriously on its own chosen career ; oh no, it is not for me to thwart an inclination so deep-seated and strong, that it "parts not quite with parting breath." If yours be of that cast if nothing less will satisfy the measure of your life-long yearning if you do feel the calm consciousness of power, the full plenitude of the divinity within if law or aught else has ever been with you, but as "a means to an end," then I say GO ON, and woe be to the hand that would voluntarily rise up to throw another obstacle in your path, or seek to arrest your onward course! I would not, if I could, interdict 204: LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. a career that had once perhaps been mine had my sex been stern as my fate, that had most surely been his, in whose "burial urn" I laid my youth "where sunshine might not find it." Had he lived his name was not des tined to have been "written on the roll of common men ;" and I scarce know either for Clara's sake or your own whether to hope, or to fear, that his mantle has descended upon you : but should aught I have said appear to you a little "less than kind," think that I have said more perhaps than I should, but for the conviction, never entirely to be shaken off, that it was my "un reined ambition" seconding his own that stimulated him into an early grave. But if with you "life is nothing, youth" the im mortal youth of intellect "is all" if indeed you do go on, let no secondary rank bound the limit of your aim the highest, the highest, for you, my proud cou sin, or none! Remember, however, that it is not the rank of office, that ultima thule of the vulgar mind, to which I allude. Oh no! there are distinctions far no bler and more ennobling than these. Can you tell who performed the role of magistracy in Athens, while De mosthenes wielded the destinies of Greece ? I fancy not, and as little do I care. And whenever I hear "the first of living statesmen " lauded for his MAGNANIMITY in withdrawing his name on a certain occasion, I always long to correct the phraseology, by saying, for suffering it to be used at all in such a connection. It is at all times proper to " tread lightly on the ashes of the illustrious dead ;" it is peculiarly so now, that the late Chief Magistrate has so recently departed alike from the arena of martiaLand political strife ; and few, it is to be hoped, are so unhappily warped by passion and LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 205 prejudice as to withhold the meed of respect and affec tion, so eminently due to his important services, sterling sense, and lofty integrity of purpose. It is also a matter of more than party or sectional congratulation, that his successor has the moral stamina to stand up like a man at his post; yet for the mere incumbent of office, as such, I have a most " infinitessimal" regard, and conse quently never find it in my heart to yield him more than the slightest passing tribute of respect, though I can bow down my whole soul at the shrine of that higher no bility, nor feel degraded by its homage. Still I really do wish just for the novelty of the thing that I actu ally could ieel for one half hour as others appear to feel, all their lives, in reference to office in the abstract. Some noble soul does, to be sure, throw, from time to time, the prestige of his own individual greatness around the mockery of its hollow forms ; but the halo recedes with the setting sun it will not linger to hallow the spot or gild the lack -luster brows of those "accidents of an accident" that too often succeed. Yet somehow so it is, that others "see a form I cannot see, and hear a voice I cannot hear," for to me there is no " excelsior" inscribed on the Executive Chair. What is it, and a thousand such, with all the paraphernalia and parade of factitious dignity, to the priceless birthright of genius the nobility not born of the "most sweet voices" of the mob what, for instance, are all their titles and honors to the simple, "world-wide renowned name" of HEN RY CLAY? Any "rabble rout" can help to make a President. "An honest man's the noblest work of God!" Had I visited the Capital during his interregnum, it is just possible I might have been as much astonished 206 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. as a certain dry old Tennessee Judge once professed to be on hearing the census of Virginia, "after having," (as he said,) "been so long under the impression" de rived from a very mediocre F. F. V. of his acquain tance "that there was nobody there but BENJAMIN WADKINS LEIGH;" for verily "Washington without its presiding genius is a nonentity to me. This reminds me to inquire, have you paid your re spects as yet ? If not, let me request you to do so on the first suitable occasion; not, indeed, with the mean, pitiful servility of a poor, sneaking, political toady, pant ing to catch the skirts of some great man, in whose broad wake he hopes to scull his ricketty craft into the snug harbor of power and place, but with the cordial unpre tending deference which every sensible, well-behaved young gentleman in the land, honestly owes to one who has "rode these many summers on a sea of glory" a deference alike honorable to the giver and receiver. But you are, I trust, better trained than to mistake in solent familiarity for manly independence, or modesty fpr meannesss. True modesty is perfectly compatible with a just appreciation of one's-self as well as others; and I question if there is not more plausibility than pro fundity in the received ipse dixit, "Diffidence of our own abilities is a sure indication of wisdom." A man of gigantic intellect may, it is true, feel at times that it is "no such great things after all," because he never knew what it was to have an ordinary one, and it may, and no doubt often does, seem very small to him in comparison with what he is able to conceive; but if so immeasurably superior to those around, it is, to say the least, a little remarkable that a mind of strong powers and acute perceptions, should fail to perceive LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 207 what is obvious to the dullest comprehension. " Can a man hold fire in his hand by thinking on the frosty Caucasus?" Can he bear about this glittering curse of genius, nor feel its circlet of ice its serpent of fire girdling and crushing his heart and stinging his brain almost to madness ? Impossible! He may regret, and endeavor to hide, the world the cold, careless, envious or busy world overlook, mistake, deny, or strive to stifle and ignore its existence ; but it is there ! it is there! a glory and a grief, a joy a crown and a thorn, a seraph, a taunting, mocking fiend; but never, never more to depart till life (or reason) and it go out together! So, do not fold your hands, sit down and flatter yourself that inertia or imbecility is modesty. This recalls an observation made a few months since by a lady in De Soto, herself the worthy ,and highly talented daughter of " an old historic line," namely, " that this thing called ' modest merit' was a very pretty thing, a most beautiful thing, to talk about; but good for no earthly use whatever, except to keep formidable competition out of the way of more brazen and less gifted aspirants." The remark was made expressly for my benefit ; it is now repeated for yours ; because, I take it for granted, one grand difficulty with the whole " kith and kin " is, that they lack assurance, or some other interpreter, to translate them out of themselves. Here am I now, can talk Oh, very brave ! to a piece of white paper ; and yet with lip curling, quivering and closed, as if " ne'er to ope again " be driven back into myself, by the first " cold, uncomprehending look " or chilling tone, there indignantly to deplore " the hard and hapless situation of a bard " compelled to find not only the wit but sense 208 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. to appreciate it; and spurn and scorn, from my inmost soul, the inveterate stolidity of that "many-headed monster thing" ever ready to worship the rising sun, and " pile Peliou upon Ossa" to keep it below the hori zon as long as it possibly can ! Oh, it's all a mistake : these philosophers know nothing at all about the matter; cold is not a " negative property ! " just let them feel it once settling down on the heart, as I have done hun dreds of times, and they would soon know better ! But all the spirit-vacillations, mind you, and all the incar nate Zeros in the universe, never reach my PURPOSE ; worlds should not bribe me to relinquish that : I think I should die or go mad within a week, if I knew it to be hopeless ! " Ti*ue woman" I dare say you are thinking, (of course, what else should I be?) '"and variable as the shade by the light, quivering aspen made;'" but, to dismiss the single specimen and return to the residue. They are the men I mean so indomitably proud or reserved, or conceited or indolent, or something of the sort, that they expect everybody to appreciate them in tuitively, without their ever taking -the pains or making the condescension to insinuate that they are, as Willis' Interrogator expresses it, anybody in particular. Now, this will never do. " The wise world laughs at fables ; dream no more ! " It was not by idle reverie that my ideal of a clear-headed statesman and chivalrous gentle man, soared to his present "pride of place!" The old Romans decreed the OAKEN LEAF as the most fitting award to him who saved the life of the drowning ; and has not he, whose pride has ever been To cast the healing salt into the bitter waters, twice plunged into the maddened vortex of faction ; twice LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 209 stemmed its tide to rescue his country and constitution from destruction ; and twice, aye, thrice, bound his brow with a garland far nobler than the wreath of empire ? Yes, " and the laurel is earned that binds his brow," and I would rather call that man my friend, than be crowned " queen of beauty and of song," by half the residue of his species! We shall never meet face to face in this life, but we shall meet, yes we shall meet, in that land where pecuniary disabilities no longer keep asunder, wide as the poles, those who might otherwise rejoice to know and appreciate each other.* You may chance to be a dissentient, if so, do not annoy me, I entreat, with any odious old saws about gentlemen and their valets, " Distance" and " Enchant ment;" or waste any valuable time attempting to dis pel what you, in your presumption, may esteem the veriest illusion. You would fail, I have a presentiment, for " /cannot spare the luxury of believing that some things beautiful are what they seem!" And beside, a woman's politics being no manner of consequence, the world should tolerate all manner of harmless illusions in me ; for without them, what should / know of life " but its real misery ?" But mind I don't admit that there can, by any possibility, be an illusion in this instance no, he surely is that rare phenomenon a real patriot, an earnest true-hearted statesman, and honest, high-minded man ! And yet this is mere tauto logy; for the doctrine that one may be a knave in i ,, . * Well I am not quite a Cassandra yet it seems any more than poverty and sickness are the most delightful of all masters of ceremonies, chough something should be forgiven to them but the diamond is a diamond still, place it in whatever light you will. Mem. of Oct. 30th, Louisville, Ky., 1851. 210 LETTEKS AND MISCELLANIES. public, yet honest in private life, would be shocking impiety, if it were not most ridiculous nonsense. Let us see it means I suppose, that it is " very right proper," and in fact almost the " bounden duty" of a politician, to bamboozle, humbug, and betray as many thousands as he can ; though it would be exceedingly reprehensible, dishonest, and infamous, for him to cheat or defraud a single one. Well, I am getting rather antiquated, it's true, and losing perhaps, the proper signification of the " king's English;" and maybe it doesn't take exactly ten hundred to make up a thousand now as it used to "in my day:" so it's all right I suppose, just upon the principle, that abstracting five or ten dollars, is " stealing" whereas making off, with a few hundred thousand, or half a million, is only a splendid defalcation. But isn't that beautiful logic, charming ethics? "And ne'er a word a true one;" for he who is "God-ward, a very faithful, upright man, but man-ward, a little twistical," has not even the merit of being an accomplished hypocrite, much less an honest man. He who plunders the public, will rob his neighbor and swindle his brother when it serves his turn. lie who mystifies and misleads the crowd, knowingly and willfully, will falsify with his friend, pre varicate with his wife, deceive his child, and take "a lie in his right hand," into the very presence of his Maker. Never do you, my dear cousin, take any man to your confidence, who advocates this absurd yet mischievous sophism, in any conceivable form ; for however else you may fail, you owe it to yourself, your God, and your name; to keep your honor and conscience intact and without shadow of stain ! " Oil hone a ree" was ever such another incarnate LETTEK8 AND MISCELLANIES. 211 statute of limitations ? Here is scarce room enough for " the gist of a lady's letter," to wit, a postscript of orthodox dimensions ! Well, it can't be helped, so you are reprieved for this time, and I must reserve two capital subjects Idleness and Dissipation; moral, social, and literary for a future essay. In the meantime you are to thank Clara for this, and would do well to make her read it (and see that it is done secundum artem), otherwise she might insist on your keeping up the cor respondence. She has probably advised you ere this of my dernier resort, and should it meet as very likely it may with your most cordial disapprobation, don't waste rhetoric or ammunition on me, my flag is nailed to the mast, but try and persuade " the world and his wife," to adopt the Quaker, or Russian custom, and dispense with all superfluous prefixes to proper names. For really there is no more absolute necessity of having titles to discriminate between Madame the matron, and Mademoiselle the " Lay nun," than Monsieur Benedict the bachelor, and Monsieur* Benedict the married man. Indeed I don't see that they are of any use, except as safety-valves for vulgar curiosity and impertinence. And sure enough some people might get overcharged to a dangerous extent, if they couldn't bore every unlucky widow, or deserted wife they met, with a regular cate chism about her husband and children, and the reason why she didn't marry again ; and then turn round and remind some quiet unoffending spinster (like your cousin * Do, in mercy to all " ears polite," learn (if you have not done so already) to pronounce this -word and its plural Messieurs correctly, i. e. Mos-yai and Mes-yai, not monster, nor Moo-soo, nor Mon-soon, nor any thing of the sort. If aufait to this matter, you will excuse this flip pancy, if not, here is one lesson gratis. 212 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. "Mel" for instance) that she is old and ugly, and her chance quite hopeless now, by " WONDERING how it happened that such an extraordinary beauty as she must have been, didn't get married when she was young and pretty." Just as if they had any right to make it incumbent on a lady, either to -retort rudely, "sin her poor miserable before breakfast" (or after), by the in vention of all manner of " white lies," or go into a history of her whole lifetime for their edification ; or as if no woman had ever anything else to do but " fall in love" and " get married" because men sometimes make themselves ridiculous, and spend their time talk ing about her beauty, when they had much better be saying their own prayers. The poor, conceited jacka napes, if they need nothing else, I'm sure most of them need pray long and well for sense enough to let the dead rest! And they'd be clear enough too, of evoking some shades of the past, if they only knew what awk ward, insignificant, ill-favored, unmistakable " clods of marl" they looked in comparison. But not they! del what atrocite merveilleuse that any living mortal, "guilty of being suspected" of having had beauty, shouldn't have made it over in hot haste, and with many thanks, to the first enterprising Procrustes willing to charge himself with its destruction in the shortest possible time. It's " wonder," they suffer such culprits to run at large instead of arraigning them for lese majeste against the whole masculine gender ; but exeunt omnes all ye pestilent pestiferi ! And now, if you don't find your vocabulary suffi ciently " aired," just go out and declaim, as long as the gag law will let you, to the first drowning man you meet, on the folly and utter inutility of grasping at LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 213 " straws !" Then leave croaking to spectacled wiseacres who fancy they know pretty much all that is to be known, and can't perhaps tell how many bars there are in the grate they have been punching for the last twenty years. How extremely sagacious they look, don't they, standing high and dry upon shore, discoursing to the poor wretch in the water, about the fallacy and weak ness of such injudicious efforts ; but between you and me, don't you think it would be just as humane to throw the poor fellow a rope ? Not however, that I expect anything of the sort in this instance ; but would merely suggest that you make a better investment of oratorical capital, than to bestow it upon me: and finally, that you console yourself with the reflection, that it isn't your name after all nor that of any one else now extant that is liable to be staled in the mouths of men by such an association. No, no, I cannot afford that, while my present position is so pre carious, and there is no alternative but leggary or suc cess in perspective. So the world and " all the rest of mankind," must hold me excused if I "keep in the line of safe precedents," and manufacture one of my own mine by right of invention, and quite good enough for steamboat and newspaper use or failing to get up any thing sufficiently recherche, conclude to patronize the Phonetics, who once did me the honor to enroll my obsolete name obsolete at least till I can resume it without compromising its dignity in their list of celebrities. They didn't send me the book to be sure, no more they didn't any one else, that ever I could learn ; but there's no occasion to remember that you know, and when honors are scarce, it is necessary for us, " small fry," 18 214 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. to be thankful for a little and make the most of what we can get ; so you can mail the first of the series you owe me for this, to New Orleans, and direct as usual until further orders. Your ill-starred, but Affectionate cousin. LETTER XVIII. PERSONALITIES AND MATTERS AND THINGS IN GENERAL , La., Jan. 2d, 1851. DEAR CLABA: I HAVE at last sealed and dispatched to your brother just such another pack and parcel of "lengthened sage advices," as" a youthful tyro like him might expect from a veteran statesman like myself. You know the meas ure of his endurance best; but in newspaper parlance, don't you expect to "catch a few" for having instigated such a proceeding? Perhaps though he may "be mer ciful and spare," if you submit with all due deference to the penance of my suggestion; so by way of giving you a little preliminary practice, I have just opened a new ream, and there's no telling how much of it you may have to pay postage upon. But verily "republics are ungrateful;" here am I now, and cannot find that there has ever been the slight est notice taken of my extraordinary efforts to enhance the postal income. If Sir "Walter Scott was knighted, as the story goes, for increasing the revenue on paper, why should not an humble individual like myself be LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 215 pensioned for its consumption, more especially when it enures so much to the benefit of the Fifth Department, not to mention the mercantile and manufacturing in terests ? Tell the counselor ihat if he really does intend speechifying to "Buncombe" in future, he might as well begin by calling attention to this subject. It will do just as well by way of practice as any other, and be quite as sensible as most "able discussions." Though, for that matter, I could suggest one or two more, just to let the Lieges know that we, their lawful Suzeraines, might, perhaps, furnish the "William Pitt, point cPappui, should they ever get enmeshed head and ears in meta physics, yet fear to "fall hack on plain common sense" from a very rational apprehension of having to measure the entire distance from bathos down a la Rochester.* And this, may it please their wisdoms, isn't altogether vain-glorious boasting, for we haven't so entirely taken leave of our senses yet, that they can palm off on our easy faith and "all enduring" good nature, such ultra- agrarianism as they have grafted into the laws of the land under the specious names of patent and copy right laws, and we never the wiser. The brain is as much a part of the human system as the hand, and its product a property or it is not a property its possession a right or not a right. If not & property, then it clearly belongs to the originator, for nothing has been his prop erty for ages; but only to think now of our Brother Jonathan, he, of all men alive, to waste the marketable * The "wicked and witty" once inquired, in the mines of Cornwall, "What, your Reverence, may be the distance from the bottom of that shaft to the center of the infernal region?" and was told, "It can't be far my lord, just let go that rope and you'll be there directly '" 216 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. commodity of legislation in alienating an impalpable, valueless abstraction. Isn't it a little too ridiculous? If it is a property there must be a, fee simple somewhere, and if it does not determine per se in the producer, then all good citizens should rise en masse against the high handed tyranny that allows him to usurp its rights and privileges a single hour. It's modest though, to the shameless and unblushing favoritism of some radicals, who impudently insist " that a man should be allowed the use of what he can make for the whole of his own natural life ;" and not half so bad as sheltering with their segis an unholy alliance of publishers, paper and spectacle makers, if not actually "aiding and abetting" their ne farious designs and sinister practices, lest some heads and eyes in these thirty-one independent, conglomerate Republics should eventually get strong enough to super vise their own misdoings. They are every one "art and part," it's my belief, ("our publishers" always ex- cepted of course, like every man's doctor and lawyer,) though little do I care personally for all their barbarous machinations and conspiracies. Thanks be, I can see my way pretty well yet, and by moonlight if I choose, through all the hocus pocus of the wicked-looking little atoms, that I take to be neither more nor less than en chanted souls of missing conspirators, for every one of the hard, contracted, leaden-headed impracticabilities looks as if it had been in a collapsed stage of the cholera, fed on persimmons, lodged in a condenser, and dressed in straight-jackets ever since it was born ; but that doesn't prove that other people never need glasses long before they are able to buy or old enough to wear them, nor that it isn't very sad to see the light all go out of "child hood's sunny eye," as the first glance at the long, intri- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 217 cate columns, and dim, misty leaves of the NEW BOOK, deciphers nothing half so clearly as a Tieadaolie in every page. Aside from starving to death, (very magnanimously,) for the benefit, honor and glory of epitaph and monu ment-makers, authors were undoubtedly sent into the world to illustrate the old Greek fable of Polyphemus, strong and blind, and having been caught napping by that dirty loafer, the right-royally rascal, Ulysses, half deserve to enact Issachar to the end of time ; but were the wily rogue disposed, (as it seems he is,) to bore out the eyes of all the flock too, nobody would ever dream of holding the captive giant at all responsible ! So I hereby notify all whom it may concern, that when I me morialize, or draft a bill for the better protection of the potentates and all the young princes, there will be one proviso, making it the duty of all health officers, and other local authorities, to seize, wherever they may be found, and burn, without fear or favor, all such perni cious and contraband wares, as books for adults having more than one-twentieth part in as small type as large Brevier, and another declaring the use, sale or issue of a text-book in anything less than Small Pica, (with notes and questions in Long Primer,) constructive as sault and battery on the whole rising generation, and punishable by confiscation, fine, and imprisonment. Abolishing from henceforth nine-tenths of Brevier and all smaller types would unquestionably be much simpler and more efficacious ; but there being a certain class of deeds, as well as doers, having a natural affinity for the clair obscuro and not too much of the Glair either it would be necessary to reserve them for the accommoda tion of quacks, politicians, legislators, and others who 218 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. often wish to print what they know isn't fit to be seen. They of course will show their gratitude by putting all bright eyes and sunny faces, as well as authors' brains, in their own pockets, if they can, and there's nothing to hinder, that I see, but "eternal vigilance." Were men ever known, (put of novels, or in more than one,) to yield the "eleven points in law" to one in justice, or was there the least chance of the "plaintiff in error's" recovering in the new suit of Sarcenet versus Broad cloth, I should expect, despite Mr. Marcy and his aphor ism, to come in, while "the victors" were all overjoyed and out of breath, for a goodly share of the "spoils." As it is, I fear the statute book, poor thing, will never be much the better for my ability to string words to gether as long as any Solon of them all ; and what is worse that I shall never get the floor to rise selon de regie and expose my condition, just as if the lion didn't know there was some pestilent gallinipper, or disgusting little insect or other, (too small perhaps for an ordinary microscope,) buzzing, cavorting, and cutting all manner of antics about his mane ; but there is no help for it that I see, so even that pension prayer will have to be pre ferred by other hands. I believe though, upon "sober second thought," that I will have it claimed as indemnity. They honestly owe it to me, for having destroyed my prospects with the for tunes, (not to say lives,) of some of my friends by their wretched legislation. I don't exactly say which it might seem invidious, but you know very well to what I allude, and may well exclaim in reference to this, "would to God the mischief had ended here ;" for, incredible as it may seem, some have absolutely taken the matter so LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 219 much to heart that their memories and eyesight have been failing ever since, in a manner most distressing to behold ! Nor is that all, for sundry rich old plethorics throughout the land have actually been known to fa tigue themselves by "doing the civil" to some waning star, much to the regret of all humane observers of their very magnanimous though superfluous condescension. But it's no use talking: some people will martyrize themselves to their own excessive amiability, though, to a feeling mind, nothing can be more truly painful than witnessing this self-imposed torture, unless it be seeing one of these same devotees hold on, with such a death- grip, to every fraction of the " almighty dollar," that the poor, unlucky dimes may be heard shrieking and groan ing all over the country like so many fiends in torment, and yet delude himself into the belief that he really has a soul, and,, perhaps, feel uneasy (for a moment or two nearly every year of his life,) about the future well- being of that nonentity. What a vagary ! Not but that some people do have souls, others intellects, and others again neither ; but, my dear sir, don't worry yourself in the least your divinia (if you have any) is nothing in the world but a gnome ! "What's that you say ? " Twinges of conscience ! " O hush, man ! hush ! people will think you have the gout if you talk of twinges, though I dare say it's only the dyspepsia. But " conscience" indeed ! Now, what did ever put it into your head that you had one ? I'm sure nobody ever suspected you; and even his reverence here can tell you that when St. James speaks of visiting the "fatherless and widows in their affliction," he only means such as can return the call in their own car- 220 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. riages ; so do sit down and be quiet, will you, or just go about your business. I have no patience with this tire some old world sentimentality ! In the meantime, I dare say " a summer at the North would be very refreshing" in more ways than one ; and, perhaps, I may come, for I hear that Barnum, that prince of curiosity mongers, "has been in full chase after a woman ever since that genus was superseded by the tribe ladies" and think of setting up my preten sions when the Lindomania is over. So, success to merit, for I neither object to the use nor application of the term, and retain several other antediluvian ideas and prejudices, which would, no doubt, if properly in vestigated, entitle me to rank high as a real, living, bonafide specimen of the obsolete race. But wouldn't I cut a pretty figure in New York upper- tendom ? I think I see myself now, sitting in a corner, with my finger in my mouth, trying in vain to catch the role of conversation, and wondering how long it would take all those lambent rays to travel down our way. "Well, we of the South-West are a great people ; that's past all dispute ! For can't we patronize circuses, showmen, traveling theatricals and mountebanks of all descriptions extensively, support "the almighty dance" genteelly, and contribute to any and every thing that appeals to either or the whole of our " siventeen sinses" very liberally ? To be sure we can ; and, what's more, we prefer metallic refrigerators, and are not callous and cold like you of the frozen North, but " open as day to melting charity," whenever the misery becomes suffi ciently abject and squalid to pain our visual nerves, otherwise we don't exactly see the necessity ; but, as to making an effort to prevent it's coming to that pass, or . J LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 221 risking the loan of a dollar to avert the bitter humilia tion of present dependence, or galling apprehension of future want: why, the very idea would be preposterous! Who cares to help people who will try to help them selves 2 If too proud to accept charity, let them suffer ! We are not Rasselas' mad astronomer; it isn't our province to regulate the affairs of the universe! But we can take the first honors in lionizing, if not endued with your patronizing genius; and there's a two-fold advantage in that, for it saves abundance of "street- yarn," good breath, bad shoe-leather and equivocal gratitude, and spares much and very irksome annoy ance to all wayward eccentrics having no taste for be coming grand levers of sensation. So, each to his own vocation : you rather shine in transcendeutals ; the present and tangible is our forte. Sympathy being a costly and somewhat volatile article, we don't keep much ready bottled for exportation, though we do oc casionally improvise a little for home consumption. But then we are too economical by far to subscribe to anything more than the nearest seven-by-nine political hebdomadal, and, perhaps, a magazine or lady's book now and then, just for the sake of pictures and fashion plates. As for such lumber as LIBRARIES, whereas the use? who's got time to read them? So, if the chances of travel or fluctuations of trade happen, at long inter vals, to waft us a new publication or fragmentary beam from the far-off world of literature, " we bless our stars, and think it lucky ; " and should some six or seven months later bring us another God-send, we seize the straggling waif, as if " man need no more to bless him self withal ! " But, then, there isn't the slightest occasion for you to 19 * 222 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. put on any airs of superior wisdom, if you do labor under such a perfect plethora of intelligence that it would be dangerous to check its flow a single instant, (judging from the dignified and condescending forbear ance and profound resignation which most new comers assume whenever an " older settler" attempts to slip in a word "edgewise;") for don't you know we lavish untold sums on our " rising hopes," sending them to colleges, academies, seminaries and institutes by the dozen, till they are elegantly educated their feet and fingers more particularly ; and don't we know they are plenty smart and abundantly able to get their " knowledge-boxes" so full by the time they are fifteen or sixteen, that they never need look in a book again for the balance of their natural lives, unless it be one of those delectable little "yallow kivers" so opportunely scattered up and down the country to prevent people's forgetting their A-B-C's. Indeed, it isn't surprising you all should wax jealous and wish to overturn our institution ; for it's enough to make you feel spiteful, just to think how you, on the contrary, have to go on, from year to year, adding "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, and there a little" plodding away till you get old enough for great-grandmothers, that is, five- and -forty, or thereabouts. Really, you are much to be pitied ! But, O fie ! I am quite ashamed of you : you don't seem to have the least idea how beautifully our high -pressure system operates ; and, of course, you can't be expected to know how la belle Angele will ring in New Orleans ! " Not much, I opine, unless she is far more frisky or coquettish than usual, or has considerable wealth (or the reputation of it) to neutralize the effect of her Northern birth and mannej?. I might as well have LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 223 said defect, for such it is getting more and more to be considered, thanks to your half- fool, half-crazy Aboli tionists, who ought to be put in straight-jackets, eveiy soul of them, and kept on bread and water, and precious little of it, till they would condescend to come to their senses and mind their own business. This charity that is always looking abroad, and never beginning at home, is very apt, like other idle, mischief-making gad-abouts, to fall into disrepute in both quarters. And, as for slavery, don't listen a word to anybody that says it isn't demoralizing: it is undoubtedly the very spawn of that old imp, Legion ; for if it doesn't seduce a man into spending money when he ought to make it, and a hundred other enormities, is sure to help him " com pound for sins he feels inclined to, by damning those he has no mind to ! " However, there's hope of the world yet: I look to see it improve very shortly, now that modern improvement has converted the "beam" in everybody's eye into a telescope, so that we can all turn our attention to redressing grievances at a distance. I'm " only a passenger" but don't mean to back out of my share, you see. What I mean by the "manner" is, that there is something too staid, or too little " Missish" about a genuine Northern lady too little advancing to attract and retiring to be pursued," to render her very fascinat ing here. And that isn't the worst : this quiet, uniform dignity and queen-like self-possession rather excite suspi cion of more mature age than probably belongs to her of right ; and when this surmise has once crossed the brain, it is stereotyped there as unalterably as "the laws of the Medes and Persians," and not the beauty of Venus or the face of a Hebe coulL ever efface the impression. 224 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Or, rather, people not accustomed to appreciate any but the beauty of extreme youth, never trouble themselves to look for it where the latter is supposed to be wanting. So, to all available purposes, the real or imaginary passee might as well be a fright as a beauty ; and rather more so, according to a quizzical old friend of mine, who used to aver, " that, there being more bad tastes than good in the world, a plain woman would stand a chance to be thought pretty much oftener than if she actually were so;" from all of which you will infer that, unless the lady in question differs materially from most high-bred Northern importations, I see no special necessity for any of her old admirers going into spasmodics or making themselves ultra ridiculous about the matter, any way, until the season is over, or so long, at least, as Divinity's abroad and mortality safe in its own insignificance. But why, upon earth, don't Prince Humbug and King Magic put their heads together, and show up, to an ad miring world, our whole American populace harnessing itself to the triumphal car of some transatlantic noto riety ? "Wouldn't it be delighted to see how the doors of too many of the wisest and best, even, in the high places of the land, fly open to a foreign actress or aven- turiee, and close almost hermetically to indigenous talent, equal, perhaps, in degree, though different in order, and developed in the less conspicuous (and there fore more truly dignified and appropriate,) departments of woman's sphere ? And haven't we a right to boast all the time, and more too, of a country able to guard the distinction between virtue and vice so jealously, while holding out a general amnesty to the faux pas and "escapades" of an imported stale in one hand, arid in flicting, with the other, the direst vengeance of outraged LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 225 morality on some fair, frail, fallen sister ? Of course we have, so being good as we are great, can now aflbrd to be just as well as generous and never name the advent of an Essler, or any other danseuse in the same age with the present avatar ; for what right-minded, high -hearted woman but must rejoice in the fair name and fair fame of this glory-brightened sister- woman ? Who would pluck a single leaf from her laurel or darken its splen dor with the dream of a shade ? Yet who would not gladly see her volunteer Boswells, unpensioned toadies, and merciless panegyrists half our Dailies and "Weak- lies in short brought back to common sense, and our countrymen to their senses ? She, is no doubt estimable as she is gifted ; but were she instead the degraded cast off leman of every royal roue in Europe, who does not know, or at least have reason to fear, that it would make very little difference in her reception ? None the less for that would all the lead and antimony in the country feel bound to put themselves in commotion and lead off in most astonish ing paragraphs, sufficient one would think, to justify many an "anxious mamma" in taking out a commis sion for lunacy, or resorting to the same sanative process which the Virginia Esculapius found so efficacious in the case of his own volcanic tempered spouse. There, now, we have committed ourselves, and the "lords" will never forgive us if we omit to say what that was. You see, "toe" are going to be dignified and editorial a bit, just to show the world what it lost when we mistook our vocation and refused to practice awhile with the " devils " above before taking charge of the t apes below ; but as they are unquestionably much more addicted to getting up those moral pyrotechnics than 226 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. their " better halves," we merely advise the latter to keep perfectly cool on the appearance of the premonitory symptoms ; and just summon a sufficient posse comi- tatus to seize the madman, shave his head, blister his pate, pour cold water down his back, apply mustard to his feet, leeches to his temples, put him in straight- jackets, and confine him to low diet and close quarters for several days after the paroxysm is over ; treating him, in short, precisely like any other maniac of the first water, paying not the slightest attention to his own as severations of perfect sanity, further than to reply, "Oh no, my dear, that can't be ! My husband is a gentle man, I know he wouldn't give way to such childish ebul litions of insane fury and conduct in this shameful manne'r if he wasn't perfectly deranged! You will be better by-and-by, love, (if you are only patient,) but I can't let you out yet, indeed I can't ; you are quite deli rious now, I do assure you, darling! " There is no telling how many females might have been saved from a lunatic asylum by the judicious appli cation of some such regimen in early life; but it's as palpable as day that many a wife and mother neglects her husband and son most culpably in this matter, till he comes at last to behave in the family circle, (and everywhere else, for that matter, where he can venture without getting his head broken for his pains,) more like a wild yager or snapping turtle in the hydrophobia, than a rational human being. Now ladies, this is imprudent, very! You may be will ing to pet and humor the precious bedlamite, and live in such constant tremor of apprehension that it's like taking your life in your hand every time you have to speak to him; but you can't expect the whole world to "walk V '* ' LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 227 softly " before him, and impunity begets want of circum spection, and some day sweet little Moses Job might forget "the better part of valor," and flare up and show oft' before somebody besides helpless, unoffending women and children. And then there would be squibs and bowie-knives, and epigrams and sword-canes, and bul lets, and rejoinders, and depositions, and all sorts of murderous instruments put in requisition; and all be cause you, in your mistaken kindness, suffered the small wound, which a skillful hand might have cicatrized, to spread, and inflame, and gangrene the whole moral and intellectual system, the " little cloud, no bigger than a man's hand," to darken and overshadow the whole do mestic horizon, and pour out its black and bitter waters, " without let or hindrance," on your very hearthstone ! Yet this is wrong, all wrong ! Patience and gentleness, and meekness, and forbearance, are all very fine things and very well in their place ; but when they serve to engender, strengthen and perpetuate an intolerable despotism, till the mailed hand never wearies in smiting the fallen, then they are out of place, and from virtues degenerate into positive weakness if not actual vice. And what man or what petty tyrant rather whose irascibility has not become a monomania admitting no lucid interval, but must occasionally feel his cheek tingle at the recollection of how futile have often been the best efforts of those whom, after all, he perhaps best loves, to throw the " mantle of charity " over his great, though despicable infirmity, and hide from the world the iron heel that never ceases to grind the perfume from the crushed rose,* till there is neither blossom nor aroma longer to be found ? * See Deaf and Dumb Girl's definition of Forgiveness. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. And yet we don't go in for a general revolt, concoct treason, instigate rebellion, and preach up insurrection by the wholesale. Not but that "womankind" has many and grievous wrongs that ought to be redressed, (or that a few magazines of pitch, turpentine, and salt peter wouldn't be amply sufficient to set the entire solar system in a blaze,) but simply because we see no special use in throwing the whole spheres into consternation merely to strip off her fetters one day, when it's morally certain she'd "gather the links of the broken chain and fasten them proudly round her" before eve of the next. So instead of shouting, "MORE PRIVILEGE," we rather in cline to lop off some of the usurped "prerogative" for honestly and soberly we never could see the necessity of her making, or suffering Plato's chickens to make, a bigger fool of herself than nature ever intended, merely because they are delighted with a chance to sneer at her for allowing them that privilege. No, nor why that old " wooden spoon," common law, should indulge a human cone in the perverse, childish freak of alienating her father's property from her father's grandchildren and bestowing it on those of some one, as foreign peril aps to his knowledge or good-will as from his blood and name, and then turn round, all in the name of justice, and string up high as Hainan, send on his travels, or accom modate with private apartments in states' mansions gratis, any blundering mal-adroit human biped, guilty of being caught making love to his neighbor's strong box, or playing at the Merry Sherwood old game of " stand and deliver." It's monstrous uneven-handed justice at any rate, so a grand demonstration on a small scale is about all I have t6 propose. Emollients are wasted on these chronic cases the LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 229 Esculapian plan is excellent, but not always practicable, yet " Poison may, as Galen held, by counter poison be expelled." And when the distempered animal gets so exceedingly rabid that no one can feel safe, or breathe freely for a moment in his presence, and you can't tell for certain whether it was a raving hyena or common mad-dog drunk, that bit him, then good wife, sister, or mother, our honest opinion is, that it's your obvious and "bounden duty" to take the responsibility, "hold the mirror up to nature," show your own virus, snap your teeth, foam and froth at the mouth, and lead off in a startling exhibition of most frantic rage. Or, in other words, when you see, (and you'll not need to wait long,) that the steam is rising very fast and no mistake, make all haste and be the first to explode it may be that the suddenness and fury of the concussion will shock the frenzied malade into his sober senses. "Yes, but scenes are so appalling and disgraceful!" Exactly so, and that's the very reason why audacity should succeed where servility fails. " Coals of fire " don't burn a salamander, give the reptile a full charge of electricity with a slight touch of galvanism, and then see. Only once gather courage from desperation, cease licking the foot under which you writhe, turn upon power, beard the lion in his den, or rather the tiger in his lair, and, (there being no room to get worse,) the chances are that the fractious, insensate brute may, in process of time, become quite a respectable, well-be haved bear. But oh, you'll never do it! and here's all this good breath no, ink, for we wouldn't have talked that much at one time for all the wasps, hornets, and self-igniting lucifer matches in creation wasted upon you for nothing ! Well, it can't be helped ; but 230 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. as long as critical investigation of the lusus called ones- self, brings some outsiders, with the very best intentions of thinking just as well of themselves as the case will possibly admit, to the mortifying conclusion that they really have not any decided penchant for being kicked and cursed one minute and petted and blarneyed the next ; its a great pity the effect of these interesting, racy, little scenic domesticice couldn't be patented for the ex clusive use and benefit of those who have. But a truce to common madmen, Lindomaniacs are all the rage just now. Look how " They rave, recite, and madden through the land!" If any half-dozen of their effusions (taken consecu tively) wouldn't thrown an ordinarily impressible mortal into a brain fever, then inflammatory diseases can't be contagious, that's certain. Indeed it's quite doubtful whether he could digest all the paradoxical and con flicting statements found in a single one, without feel ing a slight stricture in the region of his gullibility unless he happened to wear double "glorification specs" which would take him straight through at a single glance. But are the " sons" nowhere we should like to know, that all these lords of the tripod are thus laying aside composition sticks and cold water, and taking to opera-glasses and champagne with impunity? How ever, we can't waste any more time upon you, just now, Messieurs les Typos, so stand aside till your betters are served divinity befofe humanity always. And that's the reason why there's no place in the round world half so suitable as " Freedom's area," for getting up tempests in teapots, canonizations, apotheoses, and such like moral phenomena, in the shortest pos sible time and most unexceptionable style; for every- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 231 body knows we are the wisest, best, most virtuons, and enlightened nation under heaven, we have settled that question long ago to our own entire satisfaction. Poor Artists might, to be sure, prefer an arrangement which would divest them of animal wants a little sooner ; but that sordid reflection never troubled Jenny Lind, who had, it seems, friends able to send her abroad to take music lessons in childhood. Stop, there's a mistake at the very first outset " she made her own way in the world!" Oh she did, did she? It was quite fortunate for her then, that we did allow Europe to retain the initiative, and confer the preliminary degrees ; and all owing to our being an age or two " behind the times," that we never heard before, that this same " nightingale of Sweden" ever did fly from the spires of Stockholm to the cross of Notre Dame, live upon insects, sip honey-dew, perch out of nights, and carol from the topmost twig of some umbrageous bough to admiring earth-worms below, as a bird of her prerogative had a most undoubted right. " How absurd, just as if a bird of song didn't have to have its callow days." And besides, she cuts no such ridiculous antics now that she's full-fledged, but behaves (and that's much to her credit) very like an ordinary mortal, and quite as modestly and sensibly as any body could while so sadly bored with all this vulgar parade and sycophancy. "Well then, these facts and the habits of the nineteenth century altogether taken into consideration, it is rather probable that that trip to Paris cost money (not to mention personal protection), or if it didn't we should like to know, and may be stepping over ourselves some of these days. But ex nihil nihilfit, said the ancient heathen, and hard cash and bank notes are not nothing^ LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. or we should have had our hands full long ago. And being something, as anybody may find to his cost if ho attempts to appropriate, except in a legal way, more than belongs to him, the presumption is that they must have come from somewhere. She did not pour liquid gold from her throat in those days, and if she evolved it from " her own self-sustaining powers" in any other form, where was Barnum then, that we never heard of this astonishing peasant child, able to place herself under the first musical tuition of the age, never till she became a woman, and had undergone the first metempsychosis ? But perhaps her parents sent her, though we shouldn't exactly infer it from the phrase " alone and unaided" No indeed (and worse and worse, we shall never get through with out those specs). " They were poor, quite poor, and owe their present competence to her talent and filial affec tion!" And suppose they didn't, who is going to admit that a Swedish peasant, or Russian serf could by any possibility of means, be any better off in any respect than our American yeomen, who often find it difficult, as everybody knows, to educate a child thirty or forty miles from home at an inexpensive country boarding-school ? For what would all the "free and enlightened" do, if they couldn't have southern slaves, and " the down trodden vassals of European despotism" for safety-valves commensurate with the largest liberty of their own universal sympathy? Then, if she didn't, and they couldn't play the divinia pecunia on the occa sion, who did ? Somebody must, for to Paris she went, there's no getting round that fact ; though there was no " extraneous assistance" in all that, of course not ! Madame, the vocalist however, sent her back with the injunction " not to open her mouth again to sing, * LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 233 for three years." Her divinityship, be it remembered, was still in abeyance, for she hadn't touched "the shores of freedom" yet ; but if the faithful insist notwithstand ing, that she lived all that time on nectar and ambrosia, we promise to give in misbelieving infidel that we are just as soon as they demonstrate, past possibility of cavil, the ability of their own intellectuality and spirituality combined, to support vitality for a single month even. Till then, we shall have strong misgivings that her parents, or somebody else, must have con tributed, partially or indirectly at least, to her support during that long probation ; and that, according to Beaumarchais, was something, still there was " no pa tronage" there oh none in the world.* But suppose the vulgar necessity of eating and drink ing (not to mention the convenience of some little shelter and clothing in a climate as cold as that of Sweden), had actually compelled her to violate again and again that judicious restriction ; or resort, for the miserable pittance of her daily bread, to some other avocation equally fatal to the full developernent of that rare physical organization, on which her artistic ex cellence so eminently depends ! What then had become of all her rich gift of genius ? Where then had been this glorious child of song ? Gone crushed into the grave by the stern hand of poverty, that lays its fell gripe on the heartstrings, and wrings out the very life of life from the secret soul of existence. Or worse chained down to menial toil, mid the undistinguished * " You think yourself a great man, M. le Comte, because you are a Grand Seigneur, morbleu! It has cost me, a simple unit in the great mass, a greater expenditure of skill and judgment to exist merely than has been employed for these hundred years in governing all the Spains." 234 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. throng, her heart turned to gall, her very brain o*n fire with the recollection of what might have been, and the untold agony of that life-long-yearning, for the wild, free gush of that matchless minstrelsy, whose tones haunt all her sleeping and waking dreams ; but must never, never thrill upon mortal ear. That is " where," that is "what" not only might, but must have been, what the unsealed records of eternity no doubt will show has often been, when there was no discriminating hand to shelter and protect the common, perhaps unsightly shell, while the unseen chrysolite within was working out its own peculiar idea of glory, and of beauty. She was spared all this ; yet she, we are gravely told, " had no patronage " and the Press and the drawing- room re-echo the tale, till the ear wearies of its flagitious dissonance. "No patronage?" Do men know what they are talking about, when asserting such nonsense as this ? Do they not know, it is a burning insult (not of incense) to the idol their own hands have set up for the " many-headed monster" to bedin with its ostentatious homage of the hour ? Do they not see, that it is virtu ally telling the crowned victor in life's warfare, " what you have achieved is so very little that we cannot pos sibly make you out a respectable psean, without adding the ascription of all manner of impossibilities!" But were their .folly and impertinence all, they, and their absurd panegyrics and corollaries might pass. Unfortunately they are not they are instinct with con ceit the very incarnation of ingratitude, a mocking insult to the generous and noble few who have "done what they could" to start the winner toward the goal ! "What if their offerings were simple and small, their efforts crude, or weak, and not always successful ? Do LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 235 they deserve for that, to have them tossed back in de rision, or taunted as nothing worth? The "widow's mite," the kindly word, the cheering tone, the hoping love, the working zeal, of some humble Mend, some sister artist it may be, who had " the discerning of spirits," shall all these pass away and be forgotten " as a tale that is told," lest the "still small voice" say unto us "go thou and do likewise?" The diamond of genius cuts its trace in the future, the pearl of the soul leaves its record on high; for soul is loftier than intellect, and this it is, that enables men to contribute, not grudgingly, not ignorantly, but freely, " knowingly and advisedly," to the furtherance of a fortune and a fame destined erelong to o'ershadow their own. And shall not their deeds be remembered, aye and recorded too, on earth as well as in heaven. These are the men, these the women, but for whom many a benefactor and pride of his race had gone down, an idle dreamer, to the silent dust sneered at in life, derided in death, insulted in the grave his very name made "a by-word and jest " for all visionary scheming. All honor and glory to such they are the Livingstons to Fulton, the Isabellas to Columbus ; RENOWN is their right, why is it withheld ? "A nameless man amid a crowd That thronged the daily mart, Let fall a word of hope and love, Unstudied from the heart : The deed was small, the issue great, A transitory breath, It raised a brother from the dust, And saved a soul from death. Oh deed, oh tone, oh word of love, Oh thought at random cast, 236 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. Ye are but little at the first, But mighty at the last !" * And now, Mr. Penny-a-liner, we'll attend to your case. You sport the Irishman's coat of arms, (Ignor ance and Impudence,) "with an air of great dagnity;" but when did you ever extend a helping-hand to a young aspirant, unless it was to help him off the track ? "We've an eye-upon a niche in glory's temple that will suit you exactly, and no doubt but your sapience will become the pillory uncommonly well ; yet stay, you don't deserve to be seen anywhere in the same cycloid with the afore mentioned good company, so e'en go your ways, for a nice little mannikin as you are. We are not general reviewer, (though that's because our merits haven't got properly abroad yet,) so can afford to practice mod eration, and there's no use, as somebody observes, "in breaking a butterfly on a wheel." No, nor of trying to stuff more than half a dozen sheets into one single en velope. So you can be reading these and praying for sunshine, for if it doesn't come, it's just as clear as "manifest destiny," (in cloudy weather,) that you will be very apt to get the remainder. Mais nous verrons. PART SECONB DATE THE 5TH. Well, my dear, you do see, "it never rains but it pours," and this time it never has left off, though it's the first I ever knew but what did. Answering your next question is very like telling tales out of school; but as I am a sort of outlaw that doesn't even count in the census for the last ten or fifteen years, I suppose it makes no difference what I say, and I do gene- * See Charles Mackay's " Song of Life." LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 237 rally find people very kind, especially during the first sick ness I have in any one family. But then they expect you'll have the grace to get well or die, (as a good Christian should,) and there being, unluckily, more tenacity than elasticity in my constitution, I, unfortunately, do neither; and when the crisis is past, and there is nothing the matter only you don't get well, they are apt to " wax weary in well doing." For example : when you have once after half a dozen different efforts, perhaps achieved the exploit of dress ing and getting down stairs, you may crawl up again "on all-fours" not "choose any supper," have "no appetite for breakfast," and "care very little for dinner," for weeks together, before anybody seems to notice that you are not perfectly re-established ; and if as is very probable under such circumstances you take a relapse, it is a most infallible signal for "the best servant" to be taken sick, or " out into the field," and the family to discover that they "are not fixed for taking boarders, and don't like to have people about them unless they can do them justice." The house, too, gets, all of a sudden, entirely too small for your accommodation, and, as you haven't grown any larger, the probability is, that it has become smaller shrunk up, perhaps, in the night, like the old iron dungeon of Este, or crept off in part to the usual receptacle; for, wherever else u a room" may be wanting, you will be sure to find one in the mouth of the speaker on these occasions. Just then it happens to be recollected, too, that the " very agreeable boarder" was originally from the North a fact which demonstrates her, per se, to be " ten times more trouble than ordinary : " of course, you can't won der they " should prefer (though more for your sake 20 238 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. than their own.) that you should look you out another boarding-house." This agreeable intimation, being an excellent sedative for a highly nervous and very sensitive invalid, is gene rally administered when compliance is utterly inexpe dient, if not wholly impracticable ; from whence I infer that it is either meant to elicit an advance upon existing prices, or as a pretty explicit hint that you are no longer to indulge in the hallucination that you have some rights merely because you happen to pay for them. The first being rarely optional with one compelled to live with the whole " heart, mind and soul," out on " committee of ways and means " how to make or save a picayune, submission to the second is the almost inevitable conse quence ; and thenceforth you are to recollect that you are there upon toleration, like some " poor relation " or unwelcome visitor who has protracted his stay beyond all reasonable bounds, and demean yourself accordingly. Find it perfectly convenient to sit on a trunk, write on a band-box, hold a candle in one hand, pen or needle in the other ; use your scissors for snuffers, feet and fingers for tongs; "never ken it or care" if every fractured, jagged-edged cup, loose-handled knife, broken-tined fork, and brassy, dissipated old spoon on the premises, happen, by some strange fatality, invariably to fall to your share; nor feel the least surprised should your pitcher decamp without saying "by your leave" your carpet and andirons (if ever you had any,) see fit to emigrate your looking-glass, and other toilette accesso ries more purely personal, take to gadding, and feel deeply aggrieved by a hint to return your " uncannie" tumbler, candlestick, inkstand, and other utensils, have the impertinence to make themselves invisible, change LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 239 characters, and commit all sorts of diablerie before your very face and eyes, and even your decent, well- behaved, good, honest, Christian-looking wash-bowl spirit itself off to parts unknown, or be transformed, "by wicked cantrip sleight," into a leaky, battered, rusty old basin, much addicted to absenteeism', for neither nor all of these things would be half so miracu lous as the finding in your room all, or a majority even, of the article^ named, in the very height of your palm iest days. The not being "fixed" is a " true bill ; " for the resi due of the intimation, set that all down as so much moonshine or unalloyed rusticity ; and, rest assured, the very atmosphere of our larger towns and villages is too polished, by far, to allow such excessive verdancy any thing more than " short shrift" and speedy dissolution. Not but that a fair proportion of the more genteel fami lies* will, for a proper " consid-er-a-tion" do themselves the very great indignity to take a few boarders, merely to accommodate the public, for the sake of company, or out of special liking for the individual just, for in stance, as every superfluous feminine of the North inva riably pilgrimates South, or West, for the benefit of her health, not "to seek her fortune," or hide her pov erty and pride by any manner of means. Half of them may, it is true, have little or no other means for keeping up their tables or toilettes, or perhaps both ; but then they'd have you to know they would, indeed that it's a very great condescension for every body in the South-West, themselves in particular, to take boarders at all ; so you must expect to sue very humbly, walk very circumspectly, and pay very roundly for the privilege of sleeping if sleep one of your humble 240 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. pretensions can under a roof of such aristocratic " three pile glass" as theirs! It may leak a little, to be sure, though that's neither here nor there ; but, as to the com promise of dignity j it strikes me, that, if mine were of that ephemeral, mushroom cast, that vanishes before the first sunshine of utility, I should make shipwreck of the whole concern, and commence de novo. For the rest is it not a pity, that, when people do actually do you a favor, they will not allow you to feel a little grateful, instead of annihilating their own claims and merging your gratitude in a painful sense obligation, by remind ing you ever after of their own unexampled kindness and liberality, and your helplessness and dependence? How any sensible person can subscribe to the absurd vagary, that Northern ladies generally make more trou blesome boarders than Southern ones, I cannot, for the life of me, conceive, unless it is because the former do sometimes " do up " their own muslins and laces, make their own beds, sweep and dust their rooms, and keep their brushes, combs, washstands and dressing-tables (alias mantle-pieces) in order, which the latter seldom or never do when boarding out of their own family connec tion. Nor should any one of the others, unless ambi tious of being considered "one of the family," at the expense of officiating as universal convenience, unpen- sioned seamstress, and standing subject of aggression ever after. With you such a series of encroachments on gratuitous exertion might originate in avarice ; here, I am inclined to think, it arises much oftener from a thoughtless unconsciousness or disregard of the peculiar value of time and effort to those who have little of either at their own disposal : but the result is the same, and the safest way is, to ignore everything that is passing LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 241 around you; know nothing, do nothing, and have it understood that your whole genius lies in saving stitches ; for if you once suffer innate taste, good nature or love of order to betray you into neglecting your own health or personal affairs for the execution of various little, frivolous matters constituting an aggregate for which a regular employee would expect (though you, of course, would not,) something more substantial than mere com pliments in return there is no more otium cum dig- nitate for you, though there may be such a thing as a "fugitive from labor" in the mind's eye of others. And should you subsequently venture to aggravate defection, by expecting the same attention that others, who never raise a finger in like manner, receive for the same spe cific equivalent, the proceeding will, to a moral cer tainty, be ridiculed as a " putting on of airs," if not resented as a downright imposition. Yet, one might, reasonably enough, suppose that either of the afore-mentioned idiosyncracies enuring, as it ultimately must, to the benefit of the mistress by the relief of her servants ought to atone for a little extravagance in the use of cold water, especially when the consumer, as is often the case, helps herself. But you who were " to the manner born," and have not, in all probability, mended your ways or rectified your opinions by a residence in the domains of her majesty, Queen Yictoria, have no conception how eccentric, not to say improper, it is to persist in the whimsey that a pint of water is rather a limited allowance for a proper ablution, and disrelish the idea of having half a dozen pair of eyes watching every evolution of its progress, or your instinctive delicacy so often outraged by being burst in upon, that you get at last to feel quite present- 242 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. able if only caught in one remove from a "birth -day suit." Some foreign travelers do, to be sure, complain of being not a little annoyed and restricted in these matters ; but then, poor, ignorant, benighted creatures, they can't be expected to know any better; though everybody in "this enlightened land" ought to know that there isn't the slightest occasion for us who live in these bilious climes, to be half as particular in prevent ing the reabsorption of poisonous exhalations as are the infatuated children of Aquarius who reside in colder regions. Putting away their scissors, thimbles, bonnets, shawls, etc., is another exceptionality of the aforesaids ; conse quently, they are seldom or never accessory to getting up one of those u general carraras," in which the whole posse of " house-hands," assisted by a strong deputation from the kitchen, amuse themselves by the hour, in running over each other at every turn a$d corner, stir ring up trunks, upsetting band-boxes, diving into " old clothes-nests," whirling drawers topsy-turvy, turning the whole house upside down and inside out, ransacking every hole and corner, and all to "get uj>" a mislaid glove or missing pocket-handkerchief 1 To see the scene in all its glory, you should have my lord and master striding up and down between the house and carriage every five or ten minutes, looking " black as forty thunderbolts ; " or, if he chance to be " one of your patient, all-enduring men," drawing himself up into the smallest possible compass, and keeping "out of harm's way" with most exemplary presence of mind, yet every now and then furtively eyeing the progress of the hurricane, with such " a laughing devil in his sneer," that the poor, half-crazed delinquent feels, for the mo- LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 243 ment, as if "hanging, drawing and quartering" would be a hundred thousand times too good for him ! You may chance to know that these grand bouleverse- ments are not peculiar to Southern households, and 1 wouldn't, for the world, insinuate that they are matters of every-day occurrence even there, only that I believe I have seen something of the sort, and should infer, from the general effect, that the absence of the Tidbit whioh forms the primum mobile ought, in common justice, to be considered a fair set-off against the enor mity of requiring to have some small space where you can " commune with your own heart in your chamber, and be still" 'Some quiet retreat to which you can sometimes retire from the senseless clamor of idle tongues and the weary nothings of commonplace, and think your own thoughts, free from the galling surveil lance of those everlasting human eyes, forever watching every flitting shade of expression, and taking away from your very soul all consciousness of security, all thought of secrecy some little sanctuary, in short, from which you can occasionally venture to exclude all the world, and feel alone with yourself and your God ! If there is any other peculiarity in the exactions of a Northern boarder, I have been trying in vain, for the last fifteen years, to discover what it is, and presume the extra trouble must lie in the Southern lady's own utter inability to appreciate the feeling which makes privacy and free ablution necessaries of life to one born and educated farther North. The following anec dote will, better than anything else, illustrate the great disparity of idea and habit between the two on this point. Some years since, when it took much longer to de- 244 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. scend "La Belle Riviere" than at present, (especially if filled with ice), I met a very pleasant party from the shores of the Chesapeake, and an equally agreeable lady, who was making her first egress from the refined and literary emporium of the Bay State. The first day all went on charmingly ; but on the second, Madame, the Yengese, began to draw off perceptibly, and on each succeeding one to wax colder and colder. Believ ing that "murder will out," I said nothing; though having emerged from my own room just in time to wit ness her shocked and surprised looks, on finding the whole of the other party " out in the public cabin, among strangers," going through, very deliberately, and with the utmost nonchalance, all the minutiae of a rather elaborate traveling toilette, of which " WASHING formed one of the later and least considerable opera tions," I was not very much puzzled to divine the cause. Indeed, it was quite amusing to contrast the nervous apprehension with which she watched the folding-doors, lest any eye profane should chance to glance on beau ties too entirely unadorned to suit her taste, with their manifest indifference to the passing and repassing of chambermaids, and their suffering the impatient steward to poke his head in every few minutes, and inquire " if the ladies were all ready," just as unconcernedly as if it were only a cloud passing over the face of the moon ! About the third day, I think it was, mortal woman could stand it no longer ; so she kindly drew me aside, to shield my youth and inexperience from further con tamination, by imparting her "deliberate conviction that we had unfortunately fallen in company with a band of traveling courtesans 1 " I believe she did, at last, admit that "there might, LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 245 possibly, be physical purity existing under such cir cumstances ; but she was sure, quite sure, there could be no real purity of thought, where the natural and in stinctive delicacy of woman was so grossly, wantonly, habitually, and even unconsciously outraged!" Per haps she would have thought differently, had she known what an extensive list of words and phrases Southern ladies have interdicted for indelicacy, though I never could see wherein they were so much worse behaved than other English ; and no doubt commit many an egregious and indecent blunder, from pure inability to recollect which of two synonymous expressions, is the tabooed term. But " honor to whom honor," and according to the best of my belief, observation, and information thus far, no southern 'born female and mind I don't say lady, for ladies are not addicted to such habits anywhere that I know of ever outrages decorum as too many northern mothers often do, while nursing their infants in the presence of whoever may chance to look on, with out ever seeming to suspect, what unspeakable felicity it would afford the spectator, to dash a whole bucketful of water upon them, by way of making them turn aside, or cover themselves up, for once at least, if not always convenient to leave the room on such an occasion. But no there they sit, half naked, with the utmost com posure, and never dream that they, and their children reared under such auspices, are not perfect models of re finement; and abundantly well qualified by a little book-learning to set up for censors of the manners, morals and customs of the South. Yet if there is one thing more intensely disgusting than another, it is, to see a great, greasy, swarthy-looking hag, or little 21 246 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. shriveled, dried up mummy of a thing, strip herself to the waist or suffer some great calf of a yearling, whom any reasonable mortal would take for her grandchild, to do it for her and leave her whole chest exposed to occupy the hands as well as mouth, of "mother's precious angel darling" while her own are busy pat ting and toying with its nakedness, just as if she thought herself, and the dirty, ugly, " regular tartar and brim stone" little wretch, perfect MODEL ABTISTS, and every body else as fond as herself of such exhibitions. Pshaw! It's worse, if possible, than seeing a great chuckle-head, amber-distillery, blear-eyed, blubber-lip ped, unwieldy, porpoise of a man, or a bouncing, wheez ing, if not skinny, rawboued, old witch of a woman, with a map of all the lines and angles of geometry in her face, " billing and cooing." It's a wonder to me, that nuisances of both classes don't get shot down, or disap pear by the dozens, in communities that encourage scavengers and tolerate whole hordes of rising young surgeons, who havn't possessed themselves, as yet, of a " dear deceased" in their own right. Possibly the for mer may scoop up a nauseous excrescence now and then ; but the latter always fail, it is presumed, in nerving themselves up to touching anything so intole rably loathsome even with the scalpel and dissecting- knife. Be that as it may, and other things as they will, these remarks are none of the most delicate in the world though all the more graphic for that, be it remembered but that isn't half so distressing as the reflection that both parties are evidently past all hope of reclamation. They of the north are entirely too wise to be instructed by anybody, though the very 'negroes here (Heaven LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 247 help the poor darky that ever falls into their hands) might teach them more modesty; and the. re verse of that reason, makes the case equally hopeless on the other side. Here at the South, men (who must needs have all the sense in the world inasmuch as we women have none,) are vastly too knowing to take a hint from their better-halves in the construction of their domicils. So the latter have to go on from week to week and year to year, cramming all the " five corners of every room" full of beds, in which to stow away the whole household (the female portion of it I mean) whenever the conjugal hive swarms ; that is, whenever the hopeful progeny gets too large no, too numerous for the whole to pack in with " Pa and Ma" any longer ; and then, to mend the matter, cover all the intermediate space with pallets, every night, for negro women and children, boys and girls (some of the former large enough to count for men in the field), so that the little misses have to grow up from infancy to maturity, accustomed to dress, un dress and expose themselves just as freely in their pre sence, as if they were so many cats and dogs. Some far-off Physiologist does, to be sure, occasion ally lift up his voice against the " insalubrity" of in haling, during the hours of sleep, the fetid atmosphere generated by such promiscuous crowds;" but if you want to hear the immorality of the thing denounced, you must go with some u dirty indecent novelist" to a Parisian cellar or London garret, we are altogether too modest and virtuous to think of anything indecorous. And who shall dare to inquire, if it is reasonable to suppose that the inferior, whose animal passions may be strong in proportion as his intellects are weak, is always equally heedless ? And if not, whether parents 248 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. and all others who perpetuate this custom, are not, in directly at least, accessory to, and responsible for, many of those appalling occurrences, which usually terminate in the roasting beforehand, of some brutal wretch, for a nameless outrage on perhaps the wife, sister, or daughter of his own master ? That such events occur so rarely, under existing circumstances, is, to me, an unanswer able argument in favor of the wide and irremediable disparity of race; that this barrier is sometimes over leaped, is I believe, owing more than men will like to admit, to the fact that husbands, fathers and brothers, have never once dreamed of placing that among the possible contingencies, that might result from their own mismanagement. Southerners are not overmuch given, at best, to wast ing any superfluous amount of time investigating the nature of cause and effect ; and cannot of course be ex pected to do it now, when their whole souls would revolt from the conclusion, to which I honestly believe it would inevitably lead. Would they do so, 1 fancy we should soon see very different domestic and dormitorial ar rangements ; and a less universal habit of " putting on full steam," to make a little more cotton, to buy another negro to make a little more cotton, and so on ad infini- tum j just for instance, as your humble servant com presses her lines more and more, on every page she attempts to trace. I dare say you are asleep, so To Morpheus, my dear cousin. LOUISE. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 249 DEMAND FOR A SONG' By one wJio assumed, in sport, to le JENNY LIND; and REPLY. A SONG for my lute that shall float on its chords,' A measure all glowing with gladness and glee ; A tone gushing out from the heart's sweetest wards, This, this is my tribute, oh minstrel, from thee. No fear for the future, no accent of pain, No care for the present must sadden its tone; Youth, beauty and hope must e'en breathe in its strain, Like birds of bright plumage that upward have flown. For my life is still young in its freshness and truth, And I deem that the future will aye be the same ; Then weave me a song like the smile of my youth, To float on nay lute, down the current of fame. Oh NO for I'm old, though the register tells Fewer lusters by far than are traced on my brow ; And a voice from the past, ever silently swells The dirge of the hopes that are withered and low. Then wake not its tone, for I shrink from the tread Of those echoless steps that are thronging the stair; The altered, the absent, the distant the dead They are coming all coming and gathering there! 250 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. And the sigh of each leaf in the blossom of life, As the petal was reft and flung to the breeze ; (Like the song of the swan, or the dolphin's last dyes Appealing in anguish to winds and to seas) ; It is moaning for aye in the wierd spirit's wail, As mem'ry summons each ghost from the crowd Of shadowless forms, that are strewing the gale With the damp and the mildew that clings to the shroud. And my heart, life and lute all smell of its mold, No ray of bright promise now cheers me along, And my brow is not all that is careworn and old, For no muse but deep sorrow presides o'er my song. LEONA. Miss., Feb., 1851. LETTER XIX. SALMAGUNDI OF GOSSIP AND AUTOBIOGRAPHY. S n, Miss., April, 1851. DEAR DOKA: You will be surprised, though I trust not disagreeably BO, at receiving, for the first time in your life, a line from your long wandering cousin. I claim no special ovation for the gratuity, for when a culprit is sure to be detected, do what he will, he may as well "confess and be hanged" at once. And it is just possible, that but for circulating the inclosed, I might not have found time to write quite so soon; still LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 251 I have always intended doing so, ever since I knew that you too were far away from the home of your youth, and that one after another of your elder sisters had gone down, like nearly all I love, to the silent grave. Ignorance of your address, and the uncertainty of my own have hitherto deterred me; but thanks to uncle J "s last, the former difficulty is now obviated though you may feel no special gratitude therefor and Clara tells me, you are a wife and mother. A happy one, I hope and trust; though I should not always have inferred it, quite as matter of course, from the fact that you had assumed the name, and with it, I hope, as much as may be, of the feelings of a mother, to several children not literally yours. There is, I apprehend, something instinctively revolt ing, if not almost humiliating, in the very name of second wife or step-mother, and the office itself can be no sinecure, particularly here at the South where people are somewhat sensible, and consequently aware, how inadequate is a whole lifetime of self-abnegation and subservience to repair, to their children, the irreparable wrong of having exposed them to the sins and sorrows of this life, and the fearful uncertainties of the next; and it certainly is very hard atoning for injuries one has not committed, yet on the whole, playing la belle mere (how much softer and prettier is this than our coarse English phrase), to whatever number of " young hopefuls" may have the audacity to call any one man " Father" can scarce be worse than enacting step mother de facto to all the dirty, ugly little wretches in community! And with the comfortable assurance too, as in my case, that by the time one set of the " varmints" has been caught and caged long enough to 252 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. be demi-civilized, they will have to be dispersed, and their quondam to pay as dearly for the respite as would Esop's Fox had his benevolent friend, the swallow, per sisted in his humane intentions. The stepping may not be perfectly felicitous, especially if it happens, as I suppose it does once in a thousand years or so, to be stepwife as well as mother; but I do begin to think there is something a little ridiculous in the tenacity with which certain old friends of ours adhere to their primi tive opinion, that it constitutes the crowning agony of all female martyrdom; my own private opinion ("publicly expressed") being that it consists either in " governess- ing," or being tied to some miserly, vulgar old fool, or contemptible sot. Lady Teazle's reply to Sir Peter's taunt respecting her former position, namely: "that she recollected it distinctly, and a very disagreeable one it was," etc., is very apropos to the general question I mean, not to your particular case, there I trust it may be wholly ir relevant ; for yon, I hope, neyer found shooting young ideas half so intolerably irksome as myself. It is not the mere physical labor and confinement that render it so oppressive, though you in Old Virginia have no idea what a constitution of iron it requires even for that, here in the South-west ; nor what uncommon effort and ability it demands to maintain the least ascendency over the minds of pupils, where one half the parents are much like the aggrieved father, who had "been sending to school and paying out his money for three whole years, to have his son learn Latin, and now, he couldn't even do a sum in Simple Interest!" They, of course, are quite as apt to find fault when their children do well as when they do ill, a majority of the balance LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 253 don't care, or if they do, have all got in such a tremen dous hurry, of late, that if it wasn't for the opportune invention of snags and steamboat explosions, death, poor fellow, might die of starvation, for all them, for he never could overtake them. And even the best dis posed and more sensible, who don't exactly expect to outrun him, seem to think they are doing the cause of education good service if they only find time to listen pretty regularly to ex parte reports of each day's pro ceedings, instead of dropping in every now and then, impromptu, as they should, to evince interest, gratify curiosity, or make suggestions; but unfortunately they are much oftener training up idle and contemptible, if not captious and mischief-making gossips and busy- bodies. Probably they never reflect, when discussing all ihvpros and cons in each item of the daily budget in the very presence of the carrier, that they are virtually inviting him to sit in judgment, with them, on the personal and professional merits and demerits of his teacher; and that it is not in human nature for a judge to retain, very long, any profound re spect for one daily arraigned at his bar: and conse quently that they are doing their best, to destroy all that prestige of moral and intellectual superiority, on which the success of teaching so eminently depends. Yet this is not all, for there is still the irresistible conviction that, struggle as you will, all freedom of thought, all independence of action, the very inborn rights of woman are gone, and your sex remembered only for the impunity it secures to insult and aggression ; the knowledge that you are bound to succumb, body and soul, life and limb, to the caprices of an ill-sorted, ill-informed, conflicting and ever vacillating community; 254 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. that you are sold, past redemption, to a slavery, hopeless and helpless as the bondage of Siberian mines that you have no right to think your own thoughts, or with hold the sacrifice of your own health or life, that you must forego all to which you cling, fritter away the fresh ness and sheen from each gem of beauty, and worth ; temper "the thoughts that breathe, the words that bum," to the dull, cold ear of stupidity ; speak when you would be silent, act when you would think ; tame down all lofty thought, all soaring fancy, all noble aspi ration; crush out the soul's deep thirst, its life-long yearning for advance, for improvement, and bind it down, with a chain of adamant, to the same " dull drudged lesson," the endless iteration and reiteration of the same stale, puerile commonplace ; and all for naught -for naught, for what is gold to compensate for such torture as this ? And it is this, oh yes it is this ; that sends so many highly-gifted and accomplished wo men, with better health and stronger nerves than mine, from the school-room to the mad -house. Yet the world, in their wisdom, never dream that all is not well ; they see no danger in forcing the o'ertasked brain to atone for the absence of all physical power, while the worn-out nerve is quivering with agony at the rustle of every leaf nothing more remarkable than per sonal, or sectional eccentricity, in the stammering tongue, the imperfect or forgotten word, the half-formed, or re constructed phrase, the wandering thought and indisposi tion, or inability to concentrate the reasoning faculties the waning powers of self-control and consequent ir repressible and undignified exhibition of every passing emotion ; the frequent and startling alternation from the deepest depression to the wildest and most unnatural LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 255 levity ; oh no, they see no premonitory symptoms in all this ; but when the fearful verdict " insanity" has once gone forth, O then they can " remember " to have seen " long ago " in every independent act, every warm and generous feeling, every brilliant coruscation of wit and high poetic thought, that soared above the medium of their own cent-per-cent., matter-of-fact perceptions "uri- mistakable indications" of alienated intellect! And even men, who should be physiologists, will not hesi tate to assign as cause some trivial incident, which the veriest tyro ought to blush not to know, must have been the effect ! You may think I look altogether on the dark side ; but if the picture ever had any bright one, I'm sure it must have been worn out before my day, for I never could find it, or, if I ever did, my experience for the last two years has entirely effaced the impression. The first of these was spent a little North of Red river, in Arkansas; the second a little South of it, in Louisiana. In the former place I did achieve a whole five-months' session in the course of eight or nine ; in the latter, I repeated the experiment, but failed most sig nally, after dragging, as I had often done before, my enfeebled frame, and tottering limbs and quivering nerves, to the scene of their daily torture, by literally crawling up stairs, or over stiles, like an infant, for weeks in succession. And very glad was I, eventually, to put long miles and broad rivers between me and the scene of so much mental and physical suffering, at the expense of a watch the second disposed of for similar reasons within the last five years intending, hereafter, to be as circumspect as was the steamboat captain, who, on being asked " if he ran up Red river," replied, 256 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. "No; that he intended to keep within the pale of civil ization : " not but that I found some of the most agree able people I ever did meet "West of the Mississippi, (in Louisiana, more particularly;) but then they are too much like " angels' visits, few and far between." Now, I flatter myself, I know precisely the feelings of an escaped galley-slave, balancing the horrors of impending starvation with the mortal agony of a com pulsory return to his chain and his oar. And you see, by the inclosed,* that the proverbial mischance of lite rary effort is henceforth the only "reed" on which I lean, to preserve me from perishing of want in a land whose applause falls in showers of gold on every species of talent that ministers to the corporeal senses ! God only knows how I have toiled and suffered, how sternly and unflinchingly I have crucified all my native tastes and early habits, to avoid such a contingency as this ; how, once and again, I have almost secured the means of obviating its occurrence, then been compelled to watch, in bitterness of spirit, as gold (the true sybilline leaf, that increases in value as it diminishes in propor tion,) slowly, but surely, glided from my grasp, leaving me, on each recurring occasion, more helpless, homeless, destitute and desolate than ever. Forgive me, should your mind chance to revert sadly, in future, to the position of one hitherto far removed, in all probability, by time and distance, from your thoughts and sympathies ; for I would not willingly cast the shadow of my own evil doom over the brightness of your fairer destiny. I have, as you are probably aware, resided for most * Notice and Prospectus of this work. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 257 of the last fifteen years in Tennessee fifteen centuries more like it seems. I wonder what people mean when they say "time seems so short; but it, to me, has lost much of its former charms ; for the dear old Virginia lady, who was about the only mother I ever knew, had (with many of her beloved children,) gone away to her home in heaven before I left ; so I concluded to arrange preliminaries in this state, partly because it was less expensive of access than one more remote, but more because I knew the Masonic fraternity (on whom I have a lien in right of my father,) to be unusually popular and extensive in Mississippi. Now don't faint, or turn pale in the least : I only design them in case they are sensible the honor of accepting their patron age and favorable auspices ; but I'd like to see the first living mortal, stranger or relative, that would dare say " Pensionnaire " to me ; though, if you chance to know any seventh-heaven clairvoyant, who can work his will unrestricted by time and space, I'll thank you to bespeak his good offices to the extent of making me insensible to the wants and weaknesses of poor, frail humanity, for some time to come. Cause why a gold watch not being exactly a gold mine you know, its proceeds can not be expected to last forever ; and it being one of the indefeasible properties of all great bodies to move slow some of the worshipful members in the Empire State, who, according to the best of my recollection, were formerly nowise remarkable for developments of any kind, have of late become such inconceivably great men, that it wouldn't comport with their dignity at all to examine a record and make out a certificate within less than six or eight months after they had promised to do so half as many different times 1 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. But what a blessed thing it is to be confiding and pertinacious and tenacious, too, as any Senior Wrangler or the musk of a Yankee's self-conceit for otherwise I might suspect that all the marvelous fine things re- ported, ever since I could remember, about the prompt and efficient attention always given, in case of need, to the representative of a deceased brother, must have hap pened during Munchausen's travels in Gulliver's Island, or away back in the dark ages, before the world had outgrown its baby-clothes and got beyond leading- strings. The urchin has cut his eye-teeth now though, and got quite shrewd enough, too, to fool himself, if not his Maker, into a belief of his own entire willingness to discharge all obligation, to the spirit and letter, while taking special good care to ignore its existence in every case possible. If, however, I find, upon better enlight enment that is to say, when the mountain has come to Mahomet that this compliment is private property, on which the grand circle, as a whole, have no rightful lien, I do hereby promise to make it over in fee simple to the original legatees instanter ! * . *Well, it is so assigned and secured to the exclusion, at least, of the Mississippi segment this day and date of the year of grace, fifty- one. And I do hope and trust 1 have found the exception at last, for I'm sure I never yet did love "a tree or flower but 'twas the first to fade away;" and, if decency didn't forbid, should expect the " ancient" and universal, immutable and inscrutable, to convert an "open Sesame" into a bar-sinister the moment it was seen in my hands. But, " nous verrons," as Father Ritchie says. Vicksburg, Oct. 6. And, sure enough, they have, (I humbly ask pardon of all the other disfranchised therefor ;) and then try to palaver, and " make be lieve" it's a mere matter of latitude, or some other vagary! I know better, if they don't : it's all owing to me, and nothing and nobody else ; and it's astonishing how savans will keep groping in moonshine and electricity for solutions right under their nose, and palpable as LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 259 Aside from that accorded by the husband of an old friend, the most efficient aid given to my enterprise, thus far, has resulted from a casual rencontre with a young friend from De Soto, Louisiana ; and there being no pretty sister, daughter, or niece in the case, his cour tesy can be ascribed to nothing less than "the inborn chivalry" of a gentleman "to the manor born." So I say, God bless the Virginians, Kentuckians, and Caro linians, wherever they sojourn: they seem to have a noble and manly self-reliance on their own ability to recognise and appreciate rank and worth wherever it may be found, without extraneous aid. Perhaps it is from the electric thrill of some responsive chord within ; for, sure I am, they exhibit far less than some others of that spirit which, by suspecting all, " convicts at least one" if we may rely upon the testimony of that uncom promising moralist, Dr. Samuel Johnson : an ipse dixit, by-the-by, which I would most respectfully recommend to the consideration of those who seem never to have their own stupidity ! / was, undoubtedly, Columbus in 1492 ; that's why the magnet turned from the Pole; and Sir John Franklin might have come home long ago, (half roasted to a cinder,) if " Government" had only set me up in the ice trade, instead of fitting out the Advance and Rescue, with that pestilent surgeon, who couldn't be easy till he'd got a pre-emption to disqualify and exclude all authors from Terra Incog., as well as log " bad luck to him." Not the first one of us now, can ever send a pair of nice young "lovyers" there to cool off their passion during the honeymoon, but he'll have somebody wrapping up their ears in old newspapers! And if I were to draw up a glowing description of the Palace, Park, Gardens, and Royal Demesnes of King Eidolon, in the last found Nebulae, Uncle Sam would be certain to stick a Kane in it, and have it surveyed, and mapped, and geologized, and cantoned off into thriving young Republics, (modeled exactly on the pattern of Brother Jonathan's.) long before I could find a publisher discerning enough to appreciate the work. " Everything con-TRA-rtes me," what shall I do? Lexington, 1852. 260 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. properly digested St. Paul's sententious lecture on good morals and good manners, namely, "Let no man think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but each esteem another better than himself." Speaking of Dr. Johnson, reminds me that a reputed relative of his was the last teacher of my acquaintance sent to the lunatic asylum ; but do not understand me to insinuate that I think the possession of any com mendable quality restricted to the natives of any par ticular section. Such an idea, beside being manifestly absurd, would be extremely unjust to many of my best and dearest friends; all I mean is, that whenever I find pretty nearly my beau ideal of a perfect lady or gentle man, I am also very apt to find, soon or late, that the individual was, in a great majority of instances, origi nally from one or the other of the States above-men tioned. Now, don't betake yourself forthwith to the presence of your loving caro to whom, nevertheless, present my cousinly compliments that is, if you think proper ; for I dare say he is very much like the residue of lords paramount, sufficiently addicted to taking airs of various kinds upon himself any way, and might fancy I had cooked up this nice little dish of "blarney" for his special delectation, (or more probable disgust,) or in tended it as an ironical hit at the palpable parvenuism of the F. F. Y. assumption. Either would be wide of the mark, though I do think it a pity we can't have some of the aforesaid statesmen to modify the character of the pretty Chinese colony in this vicinity, and don ? t think it would be much amiss for the next legislature, after they have affiliated Mexico, annexed Cuba, and dissolved the Union and it seems just now as if they LETTEK8 AND MISCELLANIES. 261 were not like to lack provocation to do either, or all, if they could to wind up by conferring a new name on the shire town of Madison; for Canton is well known to be a free port, and these celestials are in no danger of entertaining "angels unawares/' I made their town my original place of destination, little dreaming that with " letters" to prominent citizens, I should be unable to secure a temporary home among " the generous, warm-hearted Mississippians" of whom I had so often heard so long at least as I had means to pay for it but it seems I reckoned for once without my host. I don't mean "mine host" of the hotel, who, I do suspect, has somehow stumbled on that anomalous piece of antiquity, denominated the Golden Rule ; though I hope the incident will never transpire to the injury of his reputation for ordinary savoir faire among his own fellow-townsmen. As for these, their houses looked very much as if con structed of the usual materiel; but we all know how ingenious are the nephews and nieces of the " Sun and Moon ; " and no doubt it was all a sham, and they were every one India-rubber, made to expand or contract at pleasure. Provisions, too, rose most astonishingly in the market don't you think the dealers ought to pat ronize me extensively therefor so, though no cormorant, I was fain to decamp; and should the chances and changes of life ever call me to the Celestial Empire again, shall announce myself as the identical Mrs. Ann Royal, redivivius, (she is dead is she not?) who once held the good city of "Washington and the sovereigns' viceroys in such commendable awe. Possibly they didn't relish the idea of having "a chiel amang them takin' notes;" but "fa'th I'll prent 22 262 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. them," though sure to get nothing but "particular j easy" for my pains. Perhaps you don't appreciate the graphic elegance of this ominous Southwesternism ; but it means, I take it, graduating through a course of "sprouts," with a few extra touches by way of diploma. I don't charge much for this contribution to slang dictionary, but expect the unbounded gratitude of all critics for the choice bonnes touches provided for their delectation. Much joy do I wish them of their dainty repast, and a nice time they will have of it; for here liave 1 been these dozen years sharpening myself up into vulnerable points all over, for their better convenience, and there's only one little drawback to their promised "feast of fat things." I've grown so exceedingly thin during the process, that unless they are capital sharp shooters, there is some little danger of missing the mark. But they have only to follow the directions of the re nowned Mrs. Glass, "first catch the game" and then there's nothing to do but hash and slash, and baste and broil to their heart's content; for here's plenty of sauce malapert already prepared to their hands. So just set to, Mr. Dennis; we of the South don't stand for trifles, and ought to be very proud of your notice, if it does come in the form of a castigation. And when you get us tamed down to the polished level of your own elegant commonplace, there will be another splendid chance to show ofi', by declaiming about " the want of the beauty of the fitness of things ; " and we wouldn't miss that diatribe upon any account, and hope you'll remember it takes a great deal of attic salt to keep some things from spoiling! "Just as a friend, though," we'd advise you not to make too heavy a run upon your vituperative epithets at the first dash ; not LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 263 4 that there's the slightest danger of the stock's giving out, but because so many crabbed, ugly words might be hard to swallow, in case you had to "crawfish." (there's another ism for you,) as Jeffries did after Byron lashed him into good behavior. And beside, it must be pro voking, very, to see how some wrong-headed, contume lious, self-witted authors, (like Dickens, for example,) e'en will go on publishing despite your fatherly admo nitions and remonstrances ; and how the world just will go on reading hardly stopping long enough to say, "I wonder you will be talking there, Signor nobody mark^ you" till, finally, you have to stuff your wise critique in your own pocket, and chime in with the undiscerning vulgar, just as if you really had caught, at last, some little faint echo of " that music to whose tone the com mon pulse of man keeps time;" though you know very well, all the while, that it's a great deal more like the melody of an imprisoned porker than the "music of the spheres." Now, this may be a very shameless and unblushing avowal of bad taste, deserving the knout, bastinado, decapitation, and all sorts of refined, delicate penance befitting the Procrustes of high literati to inflict ; how ever, the tiara is " at discount now," so I don't mind confessing all " under the rose," you know that really I am not infallible, have been mistaken in the course of my life, didn't always know "the cow would eat up the grindstone," and don't always feel as much like anathe matizing these vernacular mesalliances, as a regular offset of "Rose, Thistle, and Shamrock" should. Most Mississippi-valley-isms, like all other isms cockneyisms in particlar are, to be sure, silly, pointless, low-lived and disgusting, beyond the power of legitimate adjec- 264 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. lives to express ; but that they are, without exception, like the old lady's " backer-spittin' beaux, ALL Abomina ble, 'bominabler, ^bominablest" I, for one, beg leave to deny. There is, now and then, one, evincing so much rapidity of combination, raciness and vigor of thought, that, to my ear at least, is far less grating than the eter nal "hadn't oughts" and "said he's" and "said Ps" by which some who arrogate " those seats on high " rarely fail, "/ guess" to betray their Blue-Law origin and Pilgrim culture, long after they have turned their backs upon Down-East and adventurized toward the setting sun. But then, you know, I always was rather restive under the arbitrary, nonsensical and ever-shift ing exactions of etiquette ; and now, am just poet, cynic, censor or savage enough to laugh or sneer more than ever at the arduous and transparent humbuggery of highly artificial life. And if there is one pretension I do detest more than another, it is the affectation of would-be gentility and sentimentality, or the over strained fastidiousness of personal, social or literary sybarism. But, avaunt, ye horrors, "gorgons, and chimeras dire ; " and mercy on us, what an episode ! For tunately, you understand " the laws and statutes in such cases made and provided" too well to expect any apology for a diversion allowed to pastoral, didactic and other prosy writers, (though, really, I did forget you were not Evelyn or Clara ;) but, -rtimporte, I shall go on all the same, for it has just struck me how materially I have derogated from the dignity of a certain "city" by calling it a town. It was, for a long time, a great mystery to me why every little village here in the South- West should voluntarily encumber itself with onerous LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 265 corporation expenses; bnt I know now: it's because everybody knows that everybody lacks time, energy or public spirit enough to keep the highways and byways in his own immediate vicinity wholesome and passable, unless backed by the stringent ordinations of a regular board of police. They do threaten that city (and even this more remotely and indirectly,) with a railroad ; and there is so much interest expressed on the subject just now, that I shouldn't much wonder if, in process of time, they accomplished the object of getting a charter; after which the fever will, it is presumed, prove an intermit tent, as usual, so that the China-wares and Hyads and Dryads need apprehend no further danger. Jesting and nonsense aside, it is fortunate that I was virtually compelled to come here ; though less conspicu ous and important in some respects, it is a village much more " after my own heart" than the other, being a post town, easy of access, and combining city and country most delightfully the very place, in short, for a female seminary ; and they seem to have a very good one, by the way, only they will do their endeavor to make it ridiculous by calling it a college.* Some of the houses are, it is true, a little on the shingle-palace order ; but then they have plenty of space ; and, if clearing out the underbrush from the groves would be no special dis advantage, it certainly is very refreshing to feel that you are within call of several agreeable neighbors, and just as effectually screened from their optical and invol untary surveillance as if they were miles away. I have been here but a few short weeks, yet find myself recoil- * Possibly this habit orignated in a wish to secure the immunities conferred by college charter ; but, now that Brandon College has step ped over into Madison, it will, it is to be hoped, fall heir to the name 266 LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. ing, almost ungraciously, from the slightest allusion to my ultimate departure. Indeed, I begin to feel that a certain genus of the class Mississippian is not altogether extinct, though I failed probably for want of Diogenes' lantern to find very many specimens in the adjoining town. This doesn't look much like the "line" promised you at the beginning, and all in good faith too, for I actually commenced with the laudable intention of producing, for once, a nice, genteel, lady -like little letter, of the most approved dimensions ; but you see the old " counteract ing principle" was too much for me, (I do believe I'm haunted by the ghost of a Congressman "done to death" by that savage Gag-law ;) and now here the thing is, grown, without any " malice prepense " on my part, into there's no telling how many quartos ! But you know the urchin said "he didn't whithle it whithled ithelf;" so you'll please to consider that this "wrote itself" and never say cacoethes scribendi to me : I tell you it's no such thing I never did like to write in my life; I write just because I can't help it, (as anybody may see by all these interlineations ;) for when my pen "takes the bit in its teeth," and starts off in hot haste after perpetual motion, it's no more use trying to stop it than there would be the steeds of Apollo.* I dare say you think it would be much likelier to achieve the object, if it would only bide quietly at *Just so! The thing's all explained now, many thanks to Dr. Samuel Taylor and the last Boston Medical and Surgical Journal Feb. 1, 1852. The writer's no more responsible than " a sucking dove ;" it's all owing to " detached vitalized electricity," alias " them spirits," and their spite because they can't, and she don't, always do a fair share of talking. LETTERS AND MISCELLANIES. 267 home; and so, perhaps, it might, if "Circumstance, that unspiritual god and miscreator," wouldn't be for ever setting me "s well as published, in Cincinnati; and it speaks as well for the literary society of that city, as for the enterprise of the publish, ers, and the taste and skill of the typographer." Boston Post. " IT is one of the significant signs of the times that we should be receiving a work like this, from a city that had scarcely an existence fifty years ago, got np in a style of elegance, that ranks it beside the finest issues of the publishing houses of Boston and New York. This fact, however, is but the smallest element of interest that attaches to the volnme. It is one of those noble contributions to natural science, in its relation to revealed religion, which in the writings of Hugh Miller, King, Brewster, and others have conferred new luster on the honored name of Scotland. * * The concluding chapter is a sublime questioning of Geology, as to the testimony she gives to a Creator, somewhat after the manner of the Scholia, to Newton's Principia, and is one of the noblest portions of the work." Richmond, Pa., Watchman and Observer. "THB science of Geology is attracting more and more attention. That whicn was once a gigantic chaos, has become developed into a system beautifully sym metrical, and infinitely grand." Mercantile Courier. THE UNION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT AND THE CHURCH, in the Conversion of the World. By THOMAB W. JENKYN, D. D. Second thousand. 12mo,. .cloth, .... ,85 REPUBLICAN CHRISTIANITY ; or. True Liberty, as exhibited in the Life, Pre cepts, and Early Disciples of the Great Redeemer. By Rev. E. L. 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