■-i»^jjEn*_L--. 
 
 alifornia 
 
 jional 
 
 ility
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH; 
 
 A COMEDY, 
 
 WRITTEN BY JOHN DAY; 
 
 * 
 
 NOW FIRST REPRINTED 
 FROM THE ORIGINAL EDITION OF 1C08. 
 
 EDITED BY 
 
 J. 0. HALLIWELL, ESQ, F.R.S. 
 
 
 ' • '•* v^ ;•, ' 
 
 • ^4 > 
 
 LONDON: 
 PRINTED FOR THE PERCY LIBRARY. 
 
 1860. 
 
 16 51-9.
 
 1 »• * 
 
 
 » «•*••••• ,•♦ • 
 
 »*.*.♦»•••• * . * • 
 
   •••' » ,«• ••» 1. 
 
 •• •.' ;• ..' ••• . .
 
 i**. ^Vfc jffi^ ^u- jS*Ii- -4*lt jt*k. jfTk. i't'fc iVlt v^k- i*k- jl*l<- ^k- -4*k. jl*l<- ^^fc- i*i<- ^k- Jfk- A^K- ifk- 
 
 Humour out of breath. 
 
 A Co7nedie 
 Diuers times latelie acted, 
 
 By the Children 
 
 Of 
 The Kings Reuells. 
 
 WRITTEN 
 
 BY 
 I o H N Day. 
 
 Printed at Londen for lohn Hehnes, and arc to be sold 
 
 at his shop in Saint Dunstons Church-yard 
 
 in Fleet-street. 1608.
 
 To Signior No-body. 
 
 WORTHLESSE sir, I lyresent you with these ray 
 viopcrfect labours, Icnoiimig that lohat defect in me 
 §•()>• neglect in the Prifder hath left vnperfect, iudgement 
 in yon will winke at, if iwt thinke absolute. Being to 
 turtle a poore frieyidlesse childe i/nto the world, yet stiffl- 
 ciently featured too, had it been all of one mans getting, 
 (woe to the iniquitie of Time the whilest) my desire is to 
 preferre him, to your seruice : in ivhich, as he shall be 
 sure to get nothing, so likewise my hope is, he shall not 
 loose much : For your bomitie neither makes straungers 
 loue you, nor your follower's enuie you : you are a 
 Patrone worthie the Sister-hood, I meane, the poore 
 halfe dozen, for the Three Elders, they clvmbe aboue my 
 .. element : the Simne, the Moone, and the seuen Stars 
 ^ being scarce worthy the suruey of their worki/iigs : I pro- 
 -)Q test I had rather bestoiv my paynes on your good worship 
 ■"• for a brace of Angells certaine, then stand to the bomitie 
 ^of a Better-mans Purse-bearer, or a very good womans 
 Gentleman-vsher : my reason is I ca/nnot attend : your 
 Bis dat, qui cito statids so like a Load-stone ouer your 
   greate gate, that I feare twill draive all the Iron-pated 
 ~^ Muse-mongers about the towne in a short time to your 
 r- patronage. For mine cnvne part I had rather bee yours 
 V-. volens, then be driuen nolens : So till I meete you next 
 ^ at your great Castle in Fish-street, He neither taste of 
 %J your bountie, nor be drunke to your health. 
 
 One 
 of your first followers, 
 lohn Dayc. 
 
 .3Sir i?llfi
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 ACTVS I. 
 
 SCBNA I. 
 
 Enter Octauio Dulce of Venice, Hippnlito and Francisco 
 
 his sonnes, Florimell his daughter : Hortensio 
 
 and others attendants. 
 
 Octa. Sonnes, hopefall buddes of frnitfull Italy, 
 Hauing banislit war, which like a prodigall 
 Kept wastfull reuells with our subiects blond : 
 Since proude Anthonio our arch-enemy 
 Is in his ioumey towards th'vnderworld, 
 Or houers in the shade of banishment ; 
 Let vs in peace smile at our victory, 
 And euery brest passe his opinion 
 Wliat pastime best becomes a conqueror. 
 
 Fran. What sport but conquest for a conqueror? 
 Then with our wounds vndrest, our steeds still armd, 
 Branded with Steele ere we wipe of the bloud 
 Of conquerd foes, lets with our shriller bugles 
 Summon the surly landlord of the forrest, 
 
 B
 
 2 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 The kingly lyon, to a bloiidy parle; 
 Combat the hart, the leopard or the bore, 
 In single and adnenturous hardyment : 
 The spiint of mirth in manly action rests, 
 Hailing queld men, lets now go conquer beasts. 
 
 Oct. Manly resolu'd ; Hippolitoes aduise, 
 
 Sip. Rather like souldiers, and Octanioes sonnes, 
 Lets throw a generall challenge through the world. 
 For a proud tumey, at the which our selues 
 Consorted with a hundred of our knights, 
 Accoutred Hke so many gods of warre. 
 Will keepe the lists gainst all aduentm'crs, 
 Wliich hke the suns Ught figurd in a star 
 Should be a briefe epitome of war. 
 
 Oct. Noble and royaU, your opinion, daughter. 
 
 Flo. Faith, I shall anger souldiers : I woulde pourc 
 Spirit of hfe, Aiirum Potahile, 
 Into the iawes of chap-falne schoUersliip, 
 That haue since amorous Quid was exild, 
 Lyen ia a sowne. Y' aue many holds for war, 
 I woidd once view a garrison for witte : 
 Twere heauenly sport to see a traine of schollers 
 Like old traind soldiers sldrmish in the schooles, 
 Trauerse their Errjocs and discharge their iests 
 Like pcales of small-shot; were this motion granted 
 My selfe would be free woman of their hall, 
 And sit as sister at their festiuall.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BEEATH. 3 
 
 Oct. Haue we not Padua ? 
 
 Flo. Yes, but the commaunders 
 Deale with oui' graduates, as the generall 
 Doth with his souldier, giues him place for fauoure, 
 Not for deseraing, looke intoo't your selfe, 
 You haue courts for tennis, and me thiakes t'were 
 Learning should not stand bailing in the street [meet 
 For want of houseroome : oh tis much vnfit 
 Courtiers should be aU pleasure and small wit. 
 
 Oct. AU that you speake is but what we command. 
 
 Flo. But ofl&cers, father, cannot vnderstand 
 Their lords at first : wert not a gaUant sight, 
 To see wits army royall come from fight ? 
 Some crownd with gold, others with A^reath of bayes, 
 And whilst they hold their solemn holydaies, 
 Musick should Hke a louer court the skies, 
 And from the world wrest ringing plaudities. 
 
 Hip. My sister would make a rare beggar. 
 
 Fra. True, shee's parceU poet, parceU fidler already, 
 and they commonly sing three parts in one. 
 
 Oct. Wrong neither art nor musicke, they are twins 
 Borne and begot in heate, your thought of both. 
 
 Flo. I thinke, my lord, that musick is diuine. 
 Whose sacred straiues haue power to combine 
 The soule and body ; and it reason beares, 
 For it is said that the celestiall spheres 
 Dance to ApoUoes Ip-e, whose sprightly fires
 
 4 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Haue tamd rude beasts, and cliarmd mens wild 
 
 The author was immortall ; the first strings [desires : 
 
 Made by a king, therefore an art for kings : 
 
 The world's a body, euery Hberall art 
 
 A needfoll member, musick the soule and hart. 
 
 Oct. Well for hir sex hath Florimell discourst 
 Of heauenly musicke, and since all conclude 
 It is an art diuine, we were too rude 
 Should we reiect it ; musick, I take great pride 
 To heare soft musick and thy sIutU voice chide, [skill, 
 
 Flo. To please your grace, though I want voice and 
 lie shew my selfe obedient to your ^vill. \_S'ing. 
 
 Fra. This would haue done rare at a schollers 
 How do you like it, father ? [window, 
 
 Oct. Highly, my boies, I rellish all dehght, 
 For when the fiery spirit of hot youth 
 Kept house within me, I was all delight : 
 Then could I take my loue, no loue more fayre, 
 By the smooth hand, and gazing in loues ayre 
 Tell her her beauty beautifide the skie. 
 And that the sunne stole lustre from her eye. 
 
 Fra. I do admire to heare my princely father 
 Thus merrilie discourse of trifling loue. 
 
 Oct. Nay more, my boyes, when I was at your yeares, 
 I went a pilgrimage tlu-ough Italic, 
 To find the shrine of some loue-hallowed saynt ; 
 Deuote to beauty, I would pray for loue;
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 6 
 
 Desiring beauty, I would sue for loue ; 
 Admiring beauty, I would serue for loue : 
 Pray, sue, and serue, till beauty graunted loue. 
 K she denyd me, I Avotdd sweare she graunted ; 
 If she did sweare that she could neuer loue me, 
 Then would I sweare she could not chuse but loue me : 
 Let her sweare nere so much, still haue I swome, 
 Till she had said I should not be forswome. 
 
 Flo. I marry, brothers, here was cunning loue, 
 Leame like good schollers, heele make you wise in 
 He was a man in loue, were you such men ? [loue : 
 Then were you men indeed, but boyes till then. 
 
 Ft. To please my father, ile inquest of beauty. 
 And neuer make retume till I haue found 
 A loue so faire, so rich, so honorable, 
 As fits the honor of Octauioes sonnes. 
 
 fl"tp. The like (you pleasd) vowes young Hippolito. 
 
 Oct. Doe, boyes, and I will teach you how to chuse them. 
 Elect not mongst whole troupes of courtly dames, 
 !Por amongst many, some must needs be ill : 
 The seld seene Phoenix euer sits alone, 
 Joue courted Danae when she was alone : 
 Alone, my boyes, that is the only way. 
 Ladies yeeld that alone, they els say nay. 
 
 Flo. An expert souldier ; how shall they choose them, 
 
 Od. If her bright eye dim not the diamond ; [father? 
 Say, it is bright, but brighter iems delight you.
 
 6 . HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 If that her breath do not perfume the ayre ; 
 
 Say, it is sweet, but sweeter sweets content you. 
 
 If that her cheeke compared to the hlly. 
 
 Make not the hlly black with whiter whitenesse ; 
 
 Say it is liUy white, but black to white. 
 
 When your choise white must haue such high exceeds. 
 
 Flo. Father, you do exceed things possible; 
 Faith, say how many ladyes haue you seene, 
 Much fayrer then my selfe, in all your trauayle ? 
 
 Oct. Should the crow teach me, then no lady fayrer; 
 If iudgement tell me, then a many fayrer : 
 Thou art myne owne, I must tliinke weU of thee. 
 Yet, Florimella, many doe excell thee. 
 
 Flo. Should the crow teache, I am not all crow 
 Though iudgement, I not all perfection black ; [black. 
 Though you haue seen ladyes that dim the day, 
 Yet will I think my selfe as fayre as they. 
 
 Oct. Doe, Florimella, and ile one day get 
 A husband for thee, that shall tliinke thee fayre, 
 
 Flo. And tyme ifaith, that prety sport would be, 
 Wiue it for them, you shall not husband me. 
 
 Oct. Yet you will take my counseU in your choise. 
 
 Flo. Yes, if I had not yeares ynough to choose. 
 Would you direct me as you doe your sonnes ? 
 With, Daughter, take a man with such a nose, 
 With such an eye, with such a colour beard. 
 Thus big, thus tall, with all his teeth afore ;
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BEEATH, / 
 
 Tlius lipt, tliiis legd, thus handsome, thus apparrelld. 
 
 Were not this pittiful ? o pittifoll : 
 
 Now by the soule of soule-commaunding loue, 
 
 I will not stoope to such obedience, 
 
 I must be bid to blush when I am kist, 
 
 Bid my loue welcome, and I thank you, sir ; 
 
 With no, indeed, I know not what loue is, 
 
 I neuer heard so much of loue before, 
 
 I pray take heede, nay, fie you goe too far ; 
 
 With such a rabble of prescriptions. 
 
 As neuer mayd of a conceiuiag spirit 
 
 WiU follow them ; yet, brothers, goe you on. 
 
 Take you good counsell, Florimell will none. {^Exit. 
 
 Oct. I, daughter, are you so experiencd ? 
 An elder woman might haue spoken lesse. 
 Yet by your leaue, mynion, ile watch you so. 
 Your I shaU still be gouernd by my no. 
 But come, my sonnes, take patteme of gi-eat loue. 
 Early ith' morning suit your selues for loue. [Exeunt. 
 
 Enter Anthonio Bulce of Mantua, Hermia and Lucida 
 his daufjhters ; they with angels, and he with a net. 
 Ant. Gro, daughters, with your angels to the brooke, 
 And see if any siluer-coated fish 
 Will nibble at your worme-emboweld hooks : 
 Deceiue the watry subiects, yet the name 
 Of foule deceit, me thinks, shoidd fray them from you.
 
 8 HUMOUR OUT OP BREATH, 
 
 Alack, alack, I cannot blame the world. 
 That in the world there is so much deceipt ; 
 When this poore simple trade must vse deceipt." 
 But with what conscience can I make this net, 
 Within whose meshes all are caught that come : 
 They cousen one at once, this cousens many, 
 I will vndoo't, it shall not cousen any. 
 But, daughters, go practise that little sinne, 
 He mend this great fault ere the fault begin. 
 O, cousening fortune, how hast thou deceiu'd me ! 
 Turning me out a doores to banishment. 
 And made another lord of Mantua. 
 I that was lord now slaue to misery. 
 
 Her. Take comfort yet, deare father. 
 
 Ant. Comfort ? no : 
 My brest's turnd prison, my proude iaylor, woe. 
 Locks out all comfort : whers your valiant brother? 
 
 Her. All discontent, like to a wounded lyon 
 He forrages the woods, daring proude fortune 
 At her best weapon ; he accounts tliis smart 
 As a slight hurt, but far oif from the hart. 
 
 Antli. How holds his humour ? 
 
 Inic. The same fasliion still : 
 But somwhat sadder-colourd, death may end 
 But neuer change him, see our words haue raisd him. 
 
 [Enter Asporo. 
 
 Anth. Fitly uppHdc, for a walks like a ghost.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BKEATH. V 
 
 Why, how now, sorme ? 
 
 Asp. Peace. 
 
 Her. Brother. 
 
 AsjJ. Good now, peace, 
 Wake me not, as you loue me. 
 
 Luc. What a sleepe ? 
 
 Asp. I, in a most sweet sleepe, bHsters o' youi' 
 tongues for waking me. 
 
 Anth. Thou forgettest thy selfe. 
 
 Asp. I should not be a courtier els ; mee thought I 
 was at a strange wedding. 
 
 Anth. Prithee, what wedding ? 
 
 AsjJ. Of a young lawyer and old Madam Con- 
 science. 
 
 Anth. I scarce beleeue that. 
 
 Asj}. Nor I neither, because it was a dreame ; but 
 mee thought the yong man doted on the old woman 
 exceedingly. 
 
 Anth. That was miraculous ! Did they Hve to- 
 gether ? 
 
 As}}. In the country they did, and agreed passing 
 well all the long vacation ; and but for two things, he 
 would haue carried her vp to the terme with him. 
 
 A7it. What tilings were those ? 
 
 Asp. One was, because her gowne was of the old 
 fashion ; the other was, cause ho would not haue her 
 by when he took fees.
 
 10 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Ant. His reason for that ? 
 
 Asp. For feare if a bribe had bin offered, she being 
 by, he shold haue had the bad conscience to take it. 
 
 Anth. His "wife and he Kued together. 
 
 Asp. Conscience and the lawyer, as loiiingly as 
 men and their wiues do, one flesh, but neither media 
 nor make one with another. 
 
 Ant. Man and wdfe part, thats strange ! 
 
 Asp. lord, sir, profit can part the sonle and the 
 body, and why not man and wife ; now you have had 
 my dreame, father, let me vnderstand yours. 
 
 Antli. How can he dreame that neuer sleeps, my 
 Sonne? 
 
 Asp. O, best of all : why, your old world doth no- 
 thing but dreame : your machiauell he dreames of 
 state, deposing kings, grounding new monarchies: 
 the louer hee dreames of kisses, amorous embraces : 
 the newe-maiTied wrife dreames, that rid of her young 
 husband she hugs her old loue, and likes her dreame 
 well ynough too : the country gentlewoman dreams 
 that when her first husband's dead, she marries a 
 knight, and the name of Lady sticks so in her mind 
 that shees neuer at hearts-ease till she get her hus- 
 band dub'd ; the captaine, he di'eames of oppressing 
 the souldiers, deuising stratages to keep his dreame, 
 and that dreame wakes in the pate of Octauio your 
 arch-enemy, who is not content to hurle vs into the
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 11 
 
 wliii'lepoole of banishment, but binds waights at our 
 heeles, leaden pouerty, to sinke vs to the very depth 
 that we should nener rise againe. 
 
 Her. Then since aU dreame, let vs dreame of 
 reuenge. 
 
 Asp. I, marry, sister, that were a dreame worth 
 dreaming, and ile sleepe out my braines but ile com- 
 passe it. 
 
 Anth. Pretty content ; we kiU oui' foes in dreames. 
 Asp. Vds foot, ile doe it waking then. 
 Antli. Aspero. 
 Asp. At counsell table. 
 Anth. Heare me. 
 
 Asp. In his dutches armes, twere base to go disguisd, 
 No, my reuenge shall weare an open brow ; 
 I will not play the coward, kill him first 
 And send my challenge after ; Ue make knowne 
 ' My name, and cause of comming, if I thought 
 Griefe like a painter had so spoyl'd my visage 
 He could not know me, on my breast ide write 
 How ere I am disfigured through woe, 
 I am the thing was made for Aspero. 
 Speake not, I am as constant as the center ; 
 Some fortune, good or bad, doth beckon me, 
 And I wiU run, bitter reuenge tasts sweete : 
 If nere on earth farewell, iu heauen wecle meete. 
 Attendance, siiTa, your low commedie
 
 12 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Cranes but few actors, weele breake company, 
 
 Anth. As many blessings as the sea hath sands l_Exit 
 Attend thee in thine honorable iourney : cum Pucro 
 Come, pretty maides, we haue not wrought to day, 
 Or fish, or fast, our neede must needs obey. \_Exeunt. 
 
 Enter Hi/ppolito, Francisco, Fhyiimell, and Page 
 meeting them. 
 
 Fr. Now, sirra, what haue you been about ? 
 
 Page. About my huing, sir. 
 
 Hip. Whats that ? feeding ? 
 
 Pa. No, sh', looking into the vnderofficers about the 
 court. 
 
 Hip. Canst get any huing out of them ? 
 
 Pa. I, sir, my betters get good liuings out of offi- 
 cers, and why not I ? but to be plaine, I haue bin 
 seeking your good lordship. 
 
 Fr. But your boyship hath so sought vs, that wee 
 haue found you. 
 
 Page. Will you sell your findings, my lord ? 
 
 Hip. They are scarce worth giuing. 
 
 Flo. Tes, a boxe to keepe them in, for feare you 
 loose them againe. 
 
 Pa. And I were a man as I am no woman, id'e 
 pepper your box for that ieast. 
 
 Flo. You ieast. 
 
 Pa. In earnest law I would, madam. 
 
 Fr. Well, sir, no more, here comes oui' royall father.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BHEATH. 13 
 
 Enter Odmtio, Hortensio, Flamineo, etc. 
 
 Oct. How now, my boyes ? prouided for your 
 ioiii'ney ? 
 Beauty conduct you : what, attyrd like shepheards ? 
 I thouglit t'haue seene you mounted on your steeds, 
 Whose fiery stomackes from their nostrills breath 
 The smoke of courage, and whose wanton mouthes 
 Do proudely play vjDon their yron bits : 
 And you in stead of these poore weeds in robes. 
 Richer then that which Ariadne wroughte, 
 Or Cytharaes aery-mouing vestment. 
 Thus should you seeme like louers suited thus, 
 T'oude draw faire ladies harts into their eies. 
 And stiTke the world dead with astonishment. 
 
 Fr. Father, such cost doth passe your sons reuenues. 
 We take example from immortall loue. 
 Who, like a shepheard, would repaire to loue. 
 
 Oct. And, gentle loue conduct you both, my sonnes ; 
 Daughter, go bring them onward in their way. 
 Were not we cald back by important busines, 
 We would not leaue you thus : Hortensio, 
 Is my disguise prepard, for I vnknowne 
 Will see how they behaue themselues in loue. 
 
 Hort. Tis done, my lord. 
 
 Oct. Once more, my boyes, adieu : 
 He sends you forth that meanes to follow you. 
 
 [Exit.
 
 14 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Flo. Now, brothers, you must amongst these wenches, 
 Faith, for a wager which shall get the fairest ? 
 
 Fr. He gage a 100. crownes mine proues the fairest. 
 
 Hip. A match. He venter twice so much of mine. 
 
 Fh. And ile lay gainst you both, that both your 
 loues, get them when you can, where you can, or how 
 you can, shall not be able to compare with me in 
 beauty. 
 
 Fran. That wager ile take, for tis surely won. 
 
 Hip. Las, thou art but a star to beauties sun. 
 
 Flo. Star me no stars, go you and stare for loue, 
 Ile stay at home, and with my homely beauty 
 Purchase a loue, shall thinke my looks as faire. 
 As those faire loues that you shall fetch so far ; 
 But take your course, fate send you both faire lucke, 
 
 Fr. How if 't be fowle ? 
 
 Flo. Nay, iffc be forked, you must beare it off with 
 head and shoulders. 
 
 Fr. Oh stale, that icast runs otli' lees. 
 
 Flo. You must consider tis drawne out of the bot- 
 tome of my witte. 
 
 Fr. shallow wit, at the bottome so soone. 
 
 Flo. Deepe ynough to lay you in the mire. 
 
 Page. Or els tis shallow indeede, for they are 
 foundred already, but I must play dun, and draw 
 them all out o'th mire. 
 Whats a clock, my lord ?
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 15 
 
 Flo. Which of them dost aske ? thou seest they are 
 two. 
 
 Pag. What two are they, madam ? 
 
 Flo. Why two fooles. 
 
 Fr. Is it not past two ? doth it not come somewhat 
 neere three, sister ? 
 
 Page. Shew perryall and tak't ; btit come, my lord, 
 you haue stood fooHng long ynough, will you about 
 your busines in good earnest ? 
 
 Fra. Indeed we will. 
 
 Flo. And they are deeds you must trust too, for 
 women will respect your words but shtely without 
 deeds. 
 
 Page. Why are women called angells, but because 
 they dehght in good deeds, and loue heauen, but that 
 it will not be won without them ? 
 
 Fr. They shall haue deeds. 
 
 Flo. Brother, and good deeds too : 
 They are tongues that men must speake with when 
 they wo. 
 
 Hij). That tongue weel practise; sister, to loue we 
 leaue you. \_Exeunt hrothers. 
 
 Flo. Louers, take heede least cunning loue deceiue 
 you. \_Fxit with Page. 
 
 Finis actus primi.
 
 16 HUMOUTJ OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 ACTVS SECVNDVS. 
 Enter Octauio disguised, Hortensio, Flamineo. 
 
 Oct. No more ; thus suted ile attend my sonnes. 
 Impute it not to any ruffian vaine, 
 But to a fathers wakefull prouidence. 
 Louers like bees are priuiledgd to tast 
 All buds of beauty ; should they chance to light 
 Vpon some worthies weed Ue hinder it : 
 The eies of youth will now and then dwell there 
 Whereas they should not glance ; this doubt I feare. 
 
 Fla. And well aduisd, my liege ; should they incline 
 To loue not fitting their estates and births, 
 You with your present counsell may preuent them. 
 
 Oct. Thats my intent ; and further, in my absence 
 I leaue my land and daughter to thy charge. 
 The girle is wanton ; if she gad abroad 
 Restraine her, bound her in hir chamber dore; 
 My word's thy warrant, let her know so much : 
 Farewell, at home I leaue my feare with thee, 
 And follow doubt abroad. 
 
 Hor. He carefoll be. [Exeunt. 
 
 Oct. Now to my busines ; I haue a strange habit, 
 and I must cut out an humour sutable to it, and 
 humours are pickt so neere the bone, a man can scarce 
 get humour ynough to giue a flea his breakfast : but I
 
 nUMOUR OUT OF BEEATIT. 17 
 
 am a stale ruffian, my habit is braue, and so shall my 
 humor be, and here comes one to giue me earnest of it. 
 
 Enter Aspero and his hoy. 
 
 Asp. Send him a letter that I come to kill him. 
 
 Boy. Twere great valor, but little poUicy, my lord. 
 
 Asp. How long haue you bin a matchiauihan, boy ? 
 
 Boy. Euer since I practisd to play the knaue, ray 
 lord. 
 
 Asp. Then poHcy and knauery are somewhat a kin. 
 
 Boy. As neere as penury and gentry, a degree and 
 half remou'de, no more. 
 
 Asp. How came in the kindred twixt gentry and 
 penury ? 
 
 Oct. Shall I teU you, sir ? 
 
 Asp. First, tell me what thou art ? 
 
 Oct. Lyme and haire ; playster of Paris, kneaded 
 together with rye dowe and goats miLke ; I am of a hot 
 constitution, wonnot freeze. 
 
 Asp. Thy profession. 
 
 Oct. A foole or a knaue, choose you which. 
 
 Boy. Then thou art fit for any gentlemans com- 
 pany. 
 
 Oct. True, boye, for your sweete foole and your fine 
 knaue are like a paire of vpright shooes, that gentle- 
 men weare so long, now of one foote, then of another, 
 till they leaue them neuer a good soale. 
 
 C
 
 18 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Asp. That makes your foole and your knaue haue 
 such bad soales ; but what dost thou seeke ? 
 
 Oct. Mine owne vndoing, sir, — seruice. 
 
 As2J. Indeed seruice is Hke the common law, it 
 vndoes any one that followes it long. Canst describe 
 seruice ? 
 
 Oct. Yes, tis a vacant place, fild vp with a compleate 
 knaue, a miserable pandar, or an absolute beggar, 
 
 As}}. Tour opinion, boy ? 
 
 Boy. I say a seruingman is an antecedent. 
 
 Oct. Because he sits before a cloakebag. 
 
 Boy. He is Hkewise a nominatiue case, and goes 
 before his mistrisse. 
 
 Oct. Thats when the verbe he goes before, liis 
 mistrisse, and he can agree togither. 
 
 Boy. If not, he tumes accusatiuc and followes his 
 master. 
 
 Asjh Woot foUow me, fellow ? 
 
 Oct. To a taueme, and thou woot pay for my 
 ordenary. 
 
 Asj). My businesse is more senous, thou dost not 
 know me. 
 
 Oct. Nor my selfc neither, so long as I haue main- 
 tenance. 
 
 Asj). Didst ncuer heare of the wars betwixt Venice 
 and Mantua ? 
 
 Oct. I cut some few of the Mautuans throatcs.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 10 
 
 Asp. And wert not a Icnauc for't? 
 
 Oct. No, I was a Venetian commander, a great 
 man. The reason of tliis question ? 
 
 AsjJ. Dost know the Duke of Venice ? 
 
 Oct. I am his right hand. 
 
 AsjJ. Woot do me a message to him ? 
 
 Oct. Whatis't? 
 
 Asp. Tell him I hate him; my name's Aspero; has 
 banisht my father, vsurps his dukedome, and I come 
 to be reuengd. 
 
 Oct. Anthonioes sonne ? vesfoot, hast any gold ? 
 
 A^y. Thy reason ? 
 
 Oct. Shalt be reuengd. Giue me money, ile be thy 
 snaile and score out a siluer path to his confusion. 
 
 Asp. No, my reuenge shall be like my fathers 
 wrongs, in aperto : lend me any honest aide. 
 
 Oct. Pax of honesty, it goes a begging vpon crutches ; 
 and can get reHefe out of few but schoUers. I shall not 
 kill him ? 
 
 Asp. Ide be thy death first. 
 
 Oct. Yet, you say you hate him. 
 
 Asp. Equall with my shame. 
 
 Oct. Make him chew a bullet then. 
 
 Asp. No, though my state with pouertyTie tainted, 
 Mine acts and honor shall liue stiU acquainted. 
 
 Oct. True moulded honor : I admire the temper 
 Of thy mild patience; that not all the wrongs 
 
 c2
 
 20 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 I layd vpon thee can enforce thy spleene 
 
 To fowle requitall : had thy comming tane 
 
 Any base leuell, it had cost thy hfe ; 
 
 But beeing free, and full of honoru', Hue .; 
 
 Thy vertu.es teach me honor; freely goe, 
 
 A secret friends worse then an open foe. 
 
 You are too honest for my attendance ; farewell, sir. 
 
 Asj). And thou too knauish for my employment. 
 BiTt here comes more company. 
 
 JEnter Florvmell and Page. 
 
 Flo. Boy, let your attendance waite further of, 
 Vnder this shade I meane to take a sleepe. 
 
 Pa. And may you, madam, like a souldier sleepe. 
 
 Flo. How, boy, in alarums ? 
 
 Pacj. No, ladye, but in armes, and you had neede of 
 them too; for see the enemy comes downe. Shall I 
 sound a parlee ? 
 
 Flo. Peace, wag. 
 
 Pa. Peace! coward, offer peace and but two to 
 two of them. 
 
 Flo. Boy, dost know what gentleman it is ? 
 
 Pa. Gentle madam, no ; but he is a man. 
 
 Flo. Beleeue me, boy, he is a proper man. 
 
 Pa. Man is a proper name to a man, and so he 
 may be a proper man. 
 
 Flo. I loue liim, liccs a very proper man.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 21 
 
 Pa. She loues him for his properties, and indeede 
 many women lone men only to make properties of 
 them. 
 
 Flo. Pray, gentleman, if no more, tell me where 
 you were bom. 
 
 Asp. Faire virgine, if so much, no where, some 
 where, any where, where you would haue me. 
 
 Flo. Faith, I would haue it. 
 
 Asp. Marry, and you shall haue it, ladie. 
 
 Flo. What shall I haue, sir ? 
 
 Asp. Why, a kisse. 
 
 Flo. Nothing els : we courtiers count them trifles, 
 not woorth takiug. 
 
 Asp. Why then, bestow one of mee ; ile take it most 
 thankfully. 
 
 Flo. I wil not stand with you for a trifle, sir ; pray 
 where were you borne ? 
 
 Asp. In Italy, but neuer yet in Venice. 
 
 Flo. Tou may in Venice ; gentle sir, adieu. [Exit. 
 
 Asp. Gentle lady, thrice as much to you. 
 
 Pa. Farewell, sweet heart. [Exit. 
 
 Boy. God a mercy, bagpudding. 
 
 Asp. You may iu Venice ; gentle sir, adieu, Tliis 
 begets wonder. 
 
 Boij. Tare not wise then; what do you take her 
 for? 
 
 Asp. Some great woman.
 
 22 HUMOUK OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Boy. Some woman great with child. Be ruld ; 
 shees a pynk. Board her. 
 
 As2}. But how ? the meanes. 
 
 Boy. Make but a shotte of flattery at hir broad 
 side, and sheelc strike saile presently. 
 
 AsjJ. Flattery? 
 
 Boy. I, flattery ; women are like fidlers ; speake 
 them faire theile play of any instrument. 
 
 Asp. I, that they can play of. 
 
 Boy. Shees a botcher cannot play a Kttle of all. 
 
 As2J. And to common that wil play too much of 
 any ; but come, ile vse meanes to get her. 
 
 Boy. Nay, you must first hauc meanes to giue her. 
 
 Asp. Wliy, in the course of schollership the gcni- 
 tiue case goes before the datiue. 
 
 Boy. The grammarians are fooles that plac'de them 
 so; for in Berum Natura the datiue goes before the 
 genetiuc ; you must alwayes giue before you can get ; 
 louers are fooles, and fooles must be liberall. 
 
 Asp. Will not women respect a man for his good 
 parts? 
 
 Boy. Yes, some few ; but all for his good guiftes. 
 A gentleman with his good guiffcs sit at the vpper end 
 of the table on a chayre and a cushion, when a scholler 
 with his good partes will be gladde of a ioynd stoolc 
 in the lobby with the chambermaids. 
 
 As2). I will haue good guifts and shew my sclfe 
 liberall to, though I beg for't.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 23 
 
 Boy. I thiake that will be the end ; for penury has 
 tane a lease of your pocket to keep court in this 
 Christmasse. 
 
 Asp. WeU, how so ere, shoe's faire and courteous, 
 And courteous faire is a faire guift in ladies : 
 She may bee well discended ; if shee be, 
 Shoe's fit for loue, and why not then for me. [Exeunt. 
 
 Boy. And you be not fitted in Venice tis straunge, 
 for tis counted the best flesh-shambles in Italie : but 
 heer's no notable coward, that hauing sufiered wrong 
 by a man, seeks to right him self e of a woman. [Exit. 
 
 Enter Hippolito Francisco, UJce shepJieards, 
 Octauio in discjuise. 
 
 Oct. Looke you, sir, I am like an Irish beggar, and 
 an EngHsh bur, will sticke close where I findc a good 
 nap ; I must and will dwell with you. 
 
 Ft. What canst do ? 
 
 Oct. Stm Aquauitce, stampe crabs, and make mus- 
 tard ; I can do as much as aU the men you keepe. 
 
 Fra. Prithee, what ? ' 
 
 Oct. Why vndo you, and twenty could do no more. 
 But busines ; come, my wits grow rusty for imployment. 
 
 Fr. Canst keepe counsell ? 
 
 Oct. My mother was a midwife. 
 
 Hip. Hast any skill in loue ? 
 
 Oct. I am one of Cupids agents; haue Oivids Ars
 
 24 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Amancli ad vngues ; know causam, and can apply 
 remedmm, and minister effechom to a haire. But why do 
 you aske ? haue you trauerst an action in loues spirit- 
 ual! court ? 
 
 Fra. Not to dissemble, we haue. 
 
 Oct And without dissembling, youle neuer come 
 out of it ; but tell me true, are you in loue ah-cady ? 
 or haue you but desire to bee in loue ? 
 
 F7'a. Indeed I am in loue to be in loue. 
 
 jff/jj/ And I desire to Hue in fond desire, 
 And yet I doubt to touch blind fancies fier. 
 
 Oct. Tis good to doubt, but tis not good to feare. 
 Yet still to doubt will at the last prone feare ; 
 Doubt loue, tis good, but tis not good to feare it, 
 Loue hnrts them most, that least of all come neerc it. 
 
 Ft. Then to doubt loue is the next way to loue. 
 
 Oct. Doubtles it is, if you misdoubt not loue. 
 
 Hip. Doubt and misdoubt, what difference is there 
 here ? 
 
 Oct. Yes, much : when men misdoubt, tis sayd they 
 feare. 
 
 Fra. But is it good in loue to be in doubt ? 
 
 Oct. No, not in loue, doubt then is iealousie : 
 Tis good to doubt before you be in loue ; 
 Doubt counsells how to shun loues misery. 
 
 Fra. Your doubtfull counsell counsells vs to loue. 
 
 Oct. To equall loue, I like experience speakc.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 25 
 
 nil). Experiencd loner, you haue spoken well. 
 
 Oct. Experience wanting loners, truth I teU, 
 Yong wits be wise, in lone Hue constant still, 
 You need nor doubt good hap, nor misdoubt ill. 
 
 Enter Lucida and Hermenia with angles 
 And see, your discourse has coniured vp beauty in the 
 likenesse of two countrimaides, but you shall not come 
 in the circles of their armes, if I can keepe you out. 
 
 Fra. These are too meane for loue; brother, lets 
 leaue them. 
 
 Oct. What, speechles ? will you make dumbe virgins 
 of them ? 
 
 Hip. Oh, we are sonnes of a great father. 
 
 Oct. So is the sun of heauen, yet hee smiles on the 
 bramble as well as the lilly; kisses the cheeke of 
 a beggar as louingly as a gentlewoman, and tis good 
 to imitate liim, tis good. 
 
 Her. Say, sister, had we not fine sport to day ? 
 
 Liic. We had, if death may be accounted play. 
 
 Her. Why, tis accounted pleasure to kUl fish. 
 
 Imc. a pleasure nothing pleasant to the fish. 
 
 Her. Yet fishes were created to be kild. 
 
 Imc. Cruell creation then, to haue lines spild. 
 
 Her. Their bodies being food, maintaine our breath. 
 
 Liic. What bodies then haue we, to Hue by death ? 
 
 Her. Come, come, you vainely argue; it is good. 
 
 Luc. What, is it good to kiU ? oh God, oh God.
 
 26 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Her. If it bo sin, then you your self's a sinner. 
 
 Img. I tliank proud fortune fort, my woes beginner. 
 
 Oct. Foot, are yee not ashamd to stand by like idle 
 ciphers, and such places of account voyde ? and they 
 had bin rich offices, and you poore courtiers, you would 
 haue bin in them in halfe the time. 
 
 Fra. Though against stomack.— 
 
 Oct. Nothing against stomack, and you loue me. 
 
 Hip. Faire maids, if so you be, you are well met. 
 
 Her. Shepheards, or be what els you are, well met. 
 
 Fra. Tis weU, if that well met we be to you. 
 
 Idle. If not to vs, you are vnto your selues. 
 
 Hip. We did not meet, you saw vs come togither. 
 
 Her. What ere we saw, you met ere you came 
 hither. 
 
 Fr. We did, we met in kindred, we are brothers. 
 
 Imc. So, shepheai'ds, we did meet, for we are sisters. 
 
 Hip. Then, sisters, let vs brothers husbands be. 
 
 Her. So, brothers, without our leaues you well may 
 
 Fr. Say, we desire to husband it with you. [be. 
 
 Imc. Know we desire no husbands such as you. 
 
 Hip. A shepheard is an honest trade of life. 
 
 Her. Yet honest shepheard has with honest trade 
 some strife. 
 
 Hip. He seldome sweares but by his honesty. 
 
 Her. So honest men do too aswcll as he. 
 
 Fr. But wiU you trust a shepheard when ho vowcs ?
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 27 
 
 Imc. No, neuer ; if his oath be that he loues, 
 
 Ilij). Yet if I sweare, that needs must be mine oath. 
 
 Her. Sweare not, for we are misbeleeuers both, 
 
 Fr. Let vs perswade you to beleeue we lone you. 
 
 Imc. First, we intreat you giue vs time to prone you. 
 
 Hvp. Take time, meane time weele praise yee to our 
 powers. 
 
 IIgt. Oh time, sometime shepheards haue idle 
 howers. 
 
 Fra. He say thy cheek no natnrall beauty lacks. 
 
 Luc. Good, if it had bin spoke behind our backs. 
 
 Hip. He say this is the heauen of heauenly graces. 
 
 Ker. O heauen, how they can flatters to our faces. 
 
 [Fxeunt. 
 
 Fr. Brother, the last is fayrest in my eie. 
 
 Eii). I, but the first, brother, is first in beauty. 
 
 Fr. First in your choice, but not in beauty, sir. 
 
 Oct. Come yee so neere as choice : then tis time for 
 mee to stop, for feare the musick run too far out of 
 tune. How now, gallants, in dumps ? 
 
 Fr. No, but in loue. 
 
 Oct. Thats a dumpe, loues nothing but an ItaUau 
 dumpe or a French brawle. 
 
 Hi/p. Me thinkes tis sweeter musicke. 
 Oct. And twere in tune, I confesse it; but you take 
 your parts too low, you arc trcbble corn-tiers, and will 
 neuer agree with these country mynnikins; the 
 musickes too base, neuer meddle in't.
 
 28 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH, 
 
 Fra. Peace, doatarcl, peace ; thy fight of loue is 
 Thou canst not see the glory of loues sunne : [done, 
 Spent age with frosty clowds thy sight doth dim, 
 That thou art bhnd to see, and apt to sin. 
 Oct. Is it accounted sin to speak the truth ? 
 Hi]). And worse, when age spits poyson against 
 
 youth. 
 Oct. They do not fit your callings ; let them go. 
 Fr. Yet they arefaii'e. We loue; thou art loues foe. 
 Oct. I am your friend, and wish you from this loue. 
 Hip. Canst thou heaue hills ? then thou my thoughts 
 maist moue. 
 But neuer els. 
 Oct. Neuer ? 
 
 Fr. No, neuer. 
 
 Oct. Stay. 
 Hvp. We are bound for loue. 
 Oct. Hate. 
 
 Fra. Hinder not our way. 
 
 [Fxeunt hrothers. 
 
 Oct. I, boyes ; will eagles eglets tume to bastards ? 
 
 Then must I change my vaine, and once more proue, 
 
 To teach you how to hate asweU as loue. [_Exit. 
 
 Finis Actm Secuudi.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BKEATH, 29 
 
 ACTVS TERTIVS. 
 
 Enter Page and Florimell. 
 
 Pa. Sweet hony candy madam, if it be no forfeit 
 to tell tales ont of Cupids free sclioole, tell what 
 proficient your loner Aspero prones ? 
 
 Flo. Now, so loue lielpe me loe, a passing weake 
 one and verye vnready. 
 
 Pag. The better, for women would liaue tlieir louers 
 vnreadye to choose. 
 
 Flo. How ready you are to play the knaue ! But to 
 Aspero. 
 
 Pa. I do not thinke but thers good musick in him ; 
 your tongue harps so much vpon his name. 
 
 Flo. I shall neuer forget him. 
 
 Pa. I faith, lady, then I know what I know. 
 
 Flo. What do you know, I pray ? 
 
 Pa. Marry, that if you neuer forget him, you shall 
 euer remember him. Was he neuer in your chamber ? 
 
 Flo. Yes, but he shewed himselfe the strangest 
 foole. And by my troth, loe, I am sorry for't too. I had 
 as good an appetite to maintaine discourse. — But here 
 a comes. If euer I choose a man by the fulnesse of his 
 calfe, or a cock by the croAving — Looke, and the bash- 
 full foole do not blush already. 
 
 Pa. You may do well to kisse him, and make him 
 bold, madam.
 
 80 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Pa. Boy, go know what strange gentleman that is ? 
 
 Asp. Slid, what a strange lady's this? Madam, 
 though I seeme a stranger to you, I lay with one last 
 night that's well acquainted with you. 
 
 Flo. Acquainted with me ? 
 
 Asp. And knowes you, and loues you, and you loue 
 him, and haue bestowed kind fauours of him to. 
 
 Fh. I bestow fauors ! What fauours ? 
 
 Asp. Though twere but a trifle, he tooke it as 
 kindly as some would haue done a kisse. 
 
 Flo. Lord, what a while this iest has bin a brooding ! 
 and it proues but addle, too, now it is hatched. 
 
 Asp. Tis a pig of your owne sow, madam ; and I 
 hope your wit will bestow the nursing of it. 
 
 Flo. So it had need, I thinke ; tis Hke to haue but a 
 drio nurse of yours. 
 
 Pa. 0, drie least ! all the wit in your head will scarce 
 make sippits in't. Wliat, a ground, and such a faire 
 landing place ? get a shore, or be rankt amongst 
 fooles for euer. 
 
 Flo. And faith, ist not pitty such a proper man 
 should keepe company with a foole. 
 
 Asp. I keepe company with none but you, lady. 
 
 Flo. You keepe mine against my will. 
 
 Asp. So do I the fooles, I protest ; but take aw<iy 
 yours, ile soone shift away the fooles. 
 
 Fag. I haue not seene a foole so handsomely shifted 
 in Venice.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 31 
 
 Asp. But come, shall the foolc and you bee friends ? 
 
 Flo. The foole and I ? y' are too familiar. 
 
 AsjJ. Why, I hope a foole may be a ladies familiar 
 at aU times. 
 
 Flo. Come, y' are too saucy. 
 
 Asj). Indeed, tis a fooles part of lone to be in the 
 sauce afore my lady ; otherwise, I am neither foole 
 nor saucy. 
 
 Flo. Not, proude sir ? 
 
 AsjJ. Not, coy lady ; come, why should your tongue 
 make so many false fiers that neuer come from your 
 heart ? you loue me, I know you loue me; your spirit, 
 your looke, your countenance bewraj^es it. 
 
 Flo. You ieast. 
 
 Asp. In earnest you do, and you shall know't in 
 earnest too ; lend me this iewell. 
 
 Flo. Iewell? away, you sharking companion. 
 
 Asp. How ? 
 
 Flo. Wandring strauagant, that like a droane flics 
 humming from one land to another. 
 
 Pa. SHght, and thou hast any wit, now shew her 
 thy sting. 
 
 Flo. And lightst \T)on euery dayry maid and 
 
 kitchen-wench. 
 
 Asp. And now and then on a ladies lip, as 
 
 Flo. You did of mine, you would say ; and I am 
 
 hart sory you can say it ; and when by your buzzing
 
 32 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 flattery you haue suckt the smallest fauoui^ fi^om 
 them, you presently make wing for another. 
 
 Asp. Marry, buz. 
 
 Flo. Double the zard, and take the whole meaning' 
 for your labour. 
 
 Pa. The buzzards wit's not so bald yet, I tro. 
 
 Asp. A word in your eare, madam ; the buzzard will 
 anger you. 
 
 Flo. With staying, you do. 
 
 Asp. With goiiig, I shall. 
 
 Flo. Away. 
 
 Asp). I away; neuer intreat, tis too late : if you send 
 after me, I wil not come back ; if you write to me, I 
 will not answer ; drowne your eyes in teares, I will 
 not wipe them ; breake your heart with sighes, I will 
 not pitty you : neuer looke, signes cannot moue me ; 
 if you speake, tis too late ; if you intreate, tis booties ; 
 if you hang vpon me, tis needlesse ; I oflfred loue, and 
 you scornd it ; my absence wUl be your death, and I 
 am proud ont'. \_Fxit. 
 
 Flo. Is he gon, boy ? 
 
 Pa. Yes faith, madam. 
 
 Flo. Cleane out of sight ? 
 
 Pag. And out of mind to, or els you haue not the 
 mind of a true woman. 
 
 Flo. Thou readst a false comment, boy ; call him 
 againe ; yet doe not, my heart shall breake ere it bend.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 33 
 
 Pa. Or els it holdes not the true temper of woman- 
 hood ; but faith, tell me, madam, do you loue him ? 
 
 Flo. As a Welchman doth toasted cheese ; I can- 
 not dine without him ; hee's my pillow, I cannot 
 sleep quietly without him ; my rest, I cannot Hue 
 without him. 
 
 Pa. O liat he knew it, lady. 
 
 Flo. He does ; he would neuer haue left me els. 
 He does. 
 
 Pa. Tou calld him foole, but me tliinks he prooues 
 a physitian, has found the disease of your Huer by the 
 complexion of your lookes ; but see, he returnes. 
 
 Filter Aspero meditating. 
 
 Flo. And now, me thinks, I loath him more then I 
 lou'd him ; goe run for Hortensio my guardian, bid 
 him come armd ; ther's intent of treason, tell him. 
 
 Pa. My lady cannot choose but dance well, shees 
 so full of prety changes. [Exit. 
 
 Flo. I wonder you dare come in my sight, consider- 
 ing the wrong you did me. 
 
 Asp. I came I confesse, but with no intent to see 
 you I protest, and that shall be manifested by the 
 shortnes of my stay. 
 
 Flo. Tis too long and twere shorter then tis, will he 
 not court me ? not ? nor speak to me neither ? nay 
 neuer ask pardon, tis to late, we shall ha' you come to 
 
 D
 
 84 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 my window one of these mornings with musicke ; but 
 doe not, my patience is to much out of tune ; out of 
 my sig'ht I hate thee worse then I loath painting ; I 
 liate thee, out of my sight. 
 
 Asp. Inough, will you be a quiet woman yet ? will 
 you, speake afore my resolue take strength ? wi\] 
 you, do but say you are sorrj', I aske no mends but 
 a kisse, kindly, come : shall I hat'e ? 
 
 Fh. He kisse a toad first. 
 
 Asj). You will ; remember this another time, a toade 
 you will : I know thou lou'st me, and I see the pride 
 of thy humour ; I doe, and thou shalt know I doe ; 
 halfe an hower hence wee shall haue you weeping on 
 your knees, with my Aspero, would I had died 
 when I reiected thee, but doe, weepe till I pitty thee ; 
 a tooad ! He make thee creepe on thy knees for 
 a kisse. 
 
 Flo. You will. 
 
 Asp. Thy bare knees, I will, and goe without it to. 
 
 Fh. Out humoui'd ? O, I would sell my pai-t of 
 immortality. 
 
 Asp. But to touch my hand, thou wouldst, I know 
 thou woldst. 
 
 Fh. how spleene swells mee ! Helpe, Hor- 
 tensio ; creepe a my knees ? Hortensio. 
 
 Enter Hortensio tmth his man Assistance. 
 Ilorf. How fares my beautious charge ? weeping.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 35 
 
 lady ? The law shall fetch red water from his veynes 
 that hath drawne blond of yotu' eies ; is this the 
 traytor ? 
 
 Asj). Traytor ! in thy disloyall thi'ote thou liest. 
 
 Pa. O monstrous, a \^dshes you choakt, my lord. 
 
 Hort. How ? choakt ? 
 
 Pa. I, choakt; for a wishes the traytor in youi' 
 throate ; and hee's a veiy small traytor that is not 
 able to choake a wiser man then your lordship. 
 
 Hort. Downe with him. 
 
 Pa. I, downe with liini, if he stick in your throat, 
 and spare not. 
 
 Flo. Do not kill him ; though hee deserues death, 
 yet doe not kill him, onely dis weapon him ; so. 
 
 Hor. But, madam. 
 
 Flo. I will not heare liim ; keepe him ; but keepe 
 him safe on your Hues ; if he get away or miscarry in 
 prison, as I am heire of Venice, He haue your heads 
 for't. [They hind him,. 
 
 Hort. I wame you, madam, if yrons will hold him. 
 
 Flo. Fie, fie, with a cord? Here, bind him with 
 my scarfe, that wil hold; and yet stand away, He 
 doo't my selfe ; I cannot trust him with you, least 
 you should let him sometime scape free : besides, you 
 cannot vse him according to the quality of his offence, 
 and because He glory in his bondage my chamber 
 shall bcc his prison; let him haue neither Hght, 
 
 n2
 
 36 HUMOUR OUT OF BEEATH. 
 
 meat, nor drinke, but what I prouide liim my 
 selfe. 
 
 Hort. Your will's a law, we obey it, madam. 
 
 As^. She knowes me sure ; well, though my ioyes be 
 My comforts this, a speedy death ends all. [thrall, 
 
 [_ljxit ivlth Sort, and Ass. 
 
 Flo. Oh, you are not gone, then. 
 
 Page. Heer's a newe kinde of courting, neuer scene 
 before, I thinke. 
 
 Flo. He would anger me. 
 
 Pa. Nay, you take a com'se to anger him first, 
 I thinke. 
 
 Flo. Should I haue let him go (as I could no other 
 way detaine him in modesty), and he had set his loue 
 on some other, t' would haue fretted my hart strings 
 a sunder. 
 
 Pa. Why did you set him so light, then ? 
 
 Flo. Not for any hate, but in pride of my humour. 
 
 Page. Why did you commaund him close prisoner 
 to your chamber ? 
 
 Flo. That I may feede mine eie with the sight of 
 him, and be sure no other beauty can rob me of his 
 company : I will ha't all, I will not loose an ynch of 
 him. And in this I but imitate our ItaHan dames, 
 who cause their friends to clap their iealous husbands 
 in prison, that if they haue occasion to vse them 
 within fortie weekes and a day, they may surely know 
 where to find them. [Exit.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 37 
 
 Pa. If I had any knauery in mee, as I am all lio- 
 nesty, I could make a notable sceane of mirth betwixt 
 these two amorists. 
 
 Enter Antonio with a net. 
 
 Anth. Early sorrow, art got vp so soone ? 
 What, ere the sun ascendeth in the east ? 
 O what an early waker art thou growne ! 
 But cease discourse, and close vnto thy worke ; 
 Vnder this drooping mirtle will I sit, 
 And worke a while vpon my corded net ; 
 And as I worke, record my sorrowes past, 
 Asking old Time, how long my woes shall last : 
 And first, — but stay, alas ! what do I see ? 
 Moist gum, hke teares, drop from this moumfdl tree. 
 And see, it sticks like birdlyme ; tmll not part ; 
 Sorrow is euen such birdlyme at my hart. 
 Alas, poore tree, dost thou want company ? 
 Thou dost, I see't, and I will weepe with thee ; 
 Thy sorrowes make thee dumb, and so shall mine. 
 It shall be tongueles, and so seeme hke thine ; 
 Thus will I rest my head vnto thy barke. 
 Whilst my sighes tell my sorrowes ; harke, tree, harke. 
 Enter HippoUto and Francisco. 
 
 Fr. Fie, fie, how heauy is Hght loue in me ! 
 
 Hip. How slow runs swift desire ! 
 
 Fr. This leaden ayre. 
 This pondrous feather, merty melancholy. 
 
 81280
 
 38 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Hip. This passion, which, hut in passion 
 Hath not his perfect shape. 
 
 Ft. Ajid shapelesse loue 
 Hath in his watch of loue oreslept himselfe. [der, 
 
 Hip. Then, sleepy wakers, let these graue lets wan- 
 And waite th'ascension of beauties wonder : 
 But stay, a man striuing twixt life and death. 
 
 Fr. Nay, then tis so, my heauenly loue's gone by, 
 And struck him dead with her loue-darting eye. 
 
 Hip. If speech-bereauing loue will let thee speake, 
 Then, speechles man, speake with the tongue of loue, 
 And tell me, if thou saw'st not Cynthia 
 Seeking Endimion in these flowry dales. 
 
 Antli, Dales for Endimion and faire Cynthia fit, 
 But neuer heauenly goddesse blest this groue ; 
 These woods are consecrate to griefe, not loue. 
 
 Ft. Out, atheist, thou prophan'st loues deity ; 
 For, false-reporter, I in them haue scene 
 A loue that makes a negro of loues queene : 
 One that when as the sunne keeps holHday, 
 Hir beauty clads him, in his best array. [here ; 
 
 Anth. Now traly, shepheard, none such soiourn 
 Please you suruey the cell, go in and see, 
 I 'me hearst, and none but sorrowe Hes with me. 
 Enter Lucida. 
 
 Fra. Call you this sorrowes caue ?
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF UKEATII. 3'.> 
 
 Enter Odaicio ami tvhisper ivith Antonio. 
 
 Hip. Rather a cell, 
 Where pleasure growes, and none but angels dwell. 
 
 Fra. To what compare shall I compare thee to ? 
 Vncomparable beauties paragon ! 
 
 Hip. I will compare her beauty to the sunne, 
 For her bright lustre giues the morning Hght. 
 
 Fr. He say she is hke Cynthia when day's done, 
 Or lady to the mistrisse of the night. 
 
 Hip. O speake but to me, and I shall be blest. 
 
 Ft. One smile would lay my iarring thoughts at rest. 
 Enter Hermia. 
 
 Her. How now, faire sister ? you are hard beset. 
 
 Hi}). Nymph. 
 
 Fr. Goddesse. 
 
 Hip. Saynt, once more, y'are both well met. 
 
 Fra. O she is faire. 
 
 Hip. She fairer. 
 
 Fra. Both more faire 
 Then rocks of pearle, or the chast euening ayre. 
 
 Hip. Say, sweet, intend you not to fish to day ? 
 
 Her. No, shepheards, now fish do not bite but play. 
 
 Fr. What time, sweet loue, keepe fishes when they 
 
 Luc. Early ith' morning, or els late at night, [bite ? 
 
 Hip. Come, will you talke withme till time of fishing ? 
 
 Her. My father, sir, will chide if I be missing. 
 
 Oct. The match is made, th'are euen vpon going.
 
 40 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Ant. What should we do ? 
 
 Oct. Wlij, as poore parents and dntifiill sernants 
 should doe, run amongst the bushes and catch flies. 
 Aoit. Stay, forward daughters, whether are yee 
 
 going? 
 Her. Father, I thinke these shepheards come a 
 
 wooing. 
 Ant. A wooing, daughters ? nere imagine so : 
 What man's so mad to marry griefe and woe ? 
 
 Fra. Why, where hues sad griefe ? heer's all speak- 
 ing ioy. 
 Hip. 0, I would Hue and die with such annoy. 
 A7it. But they are poore, and pouerty is despisde. 
 Hip. No, they are faire, beauty is highly prizde. 
 Oct. Twill be a match, they are beating the price 
 already. [changd them ; 
 
 A7if. They once were faire, sorrow from that hath 
 They once knew wealth, but chance hath much es- 
 trangd them. 
 Fra. Haue they bin faire ? what fayrer then they are ? 
 Why tis not possible, this heauenly faire 
 Hath only in it selfe beauties exceed, 
 then rich, fayre, and onely selues exceed, [please. 
 Ant. Come, daughters, and come, shepheards, if you 
 Be leade you to the lodge of httle ease, 
 Wliere I will feast you with what cheere I may, 
 Griefe shall turne mirth, and keepe high holKday. 
 
 [Exit cum. flioMis.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 41 
 
 Tlie brothers (joing out, Odauio states them. 
 
 Oct. A word with you ; you meane to many these 
 wenches ? 
 
 Ambo. We doe, 
 
 Oct. And are going to contract your selues ? 
 
 Amho. We are. 
 
 Hij). And what say you to this ? 
 
 Oct. God speede you : I would haue you marry on 
 Saint Lukes day. 
 
 Fr. Why? 
 
 Oct. Because I would offer at your wedding. 
 
 Fr. Come, th'art all enuy, feed vpon thy hate, 
 This day our quest of loue shall terminate. 
 
 \_Exeu7it ; manet Octauio. 
 
 Oct. Not if I Hue ; this maladie of loue 
 Is grown so strong, it will not be driuen out. 
 To see the foUy of a doating father; 
 What toyle I had to fashion them to loue. 
 And how tis doubled to misfashion them. 
 They shall not wed, yet how shall I preuent it ? 
 Fearing th'euent, I haue forethought a meanes, 
 And here it Kes ; swaggering becorues not age ; 
 Now like the fox, ile goe a pilgrimage. 
 FrolHck, my boyes, I come to mar your sport ; 
 Your country musicke must not play at coui-t. 
 But first, ile write back to Hortensio 
 For apprehension of yong Aspero :
 
 42 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 They liaue not yet dynde, ile bid my selfe their guest : 
 ReKgion beg ? a fasliion in request. IjExU. 
 
 Enter Aspero and his hoy. 
 
 Asp. Art sure she hates me, boy ? 
 
 Boij. More then hir death. I haue bin in hir bosome, 
 sir ; and this day she intends your execution. 
 
 Asp. My execution ! the reason of hir hate ? 
 
 Boij. Hir humour ; nothing but a kind of strange 
 crosse humor in that you reiected hir loue. 
 
 Asp. Thats not capitall. 
 
 Boij. Not to crosse a great ones humour ? no trea- 
 son more : great personages humours are puritanes ; 
 thei'l as hue indure the diuel as soon as a crosse ; and 
 can away with him better. 
 
 Asp. I will submit, aske pardon on my knee. 
 
 Boy. Is your proud humour come downe ifaith ; 
 your high humor that would not stoop an ynch of the 
 knees ? ilo help't vp againe, and't be but to A^hold 
 the ieast. I must bi'ing her as low ere I haue done. 
 O base, I woulde rather lay my necke vnder the axe 
 of her hate, then my sporte vnder the feete of hir 
 humor; but be counseUd, Ue teach you to preuentboth; 
 and perchance, make her vpstart humour stoops 
 gallant, too. 
 
 Asp. Ile hold thee my best iewcll, and thou dost. 
 
 Boy. And pawne me as poore lords do their icwelLs,
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 43 
 
 too, will you not? receiue me, yon shall counterfet 
 your selfe dead. 
 
 Asj^). The life of that least ? 
 
 Boi/. It may be, she dissembles all this wliile ; loues 
 you, and puts on this shew of hate of pui-pose to 
 humble you : she may, and I beleeue— — 
 
 Asj). What? 
 
 Boy. That most intelligencers are knaues, and some 
 women dissemblers ; being thought dead (as let me 
 alone to buz that into the credulous eare of the court) 
 if she haue any sparkes of loue, theil kindle and flame 
 bright tlirough the cinders of her hart. 
 
 As}}. Knot? 
 
 Boy. If not, twill be a meanes for your escape : ile 
 say you requested, at your death, to be buried at your 
 natiue citty ; and what courtier, if a cliristian, can 
 deny that ? 
 
 AsjJ. I am all thine, my humour's thy patient. 
 
 Boy. And if I do not kill it, I am not worthy to bo 
 your physitian. [Exeunl. 
 
 Enter Florimell and lur Page. 
 
 Pa. I mary, lady ; why, now you credit your sex ? 
 a womans honor or humom' should be like a ship 
 vnder saile ; split her keele ere she vaile. \_EntcrBoy. 
 
 Flo. Ile split my heart, ere my humor strike saile. 
 Here comes Ms Page. How now, boy? how doth 
 your master ?
 
 44 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Boy. Well, madam, he. 
 
 Flo. WeU? 
 
 JBoy. Very well. 
 
 Flo. Where is he ? 
 
 Boy. Where none of your proude sex will euer 
 come, I thiake : in lieanen. 
 
 Flo. Is he dead ? 
 
 Boy. See madam ; and seeing blush ; and blushing 
 shame, that your vngentle humor should be the death 
 of so good and generous a spirit. 
 
 [^Discouer As^ero lying on a table, seeming dead. 
 
 Flo. My Aspero dead ! 
 
 Boy. See, madam, what a mutation. 
 
 Flo. I see too much ; and curse my proude humour 
 that was the cause of it. Aspero, kinde soule ; proud 
 sullen Florimell; disdainefull hiunor, that in one 
 minute hast eternally vndone me : I would not kisse 
 the Huing substance, that being dead, doate on thy 
 pictm-e. I lou'd thee euer with my soule. let 
 me kisse this shrowd of beauty. I would not accept 
 thee liuing ; that being dead, on my knees adore thee ; 
 could kisses recouer thee, I would dwell on thy hps ; 
 kneele till my knees grew to the ground, deere, gentle 
 Aspero. 
 
 She that procurde thy death, will die with thee ; 
 And craue no heauen, but still to lie with thee. 
 
 [As2)ero starts vp.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 45 
 
 Asp. I take you at your word, lady. 
 Nay, neuer recant, I haue Avitnes on't now; is your 
 proude humor come downe ? could you not liaue 
 said so at first, and sau'd me a labour of dying ? 
 
 Flo. Lines Aspero ? 
 
 Asp. Line quotha ? sfoot, what man would bee so 
 mad to lye in his colde gTaue alone, and may lie in a 
 warme bed with such a beautifiill wife as this will be ? 
 haue I tane your humour napping yfaith ? 
 
 Flo. Am I ore reacht ? 
 
 Asp. In your humour, madam, nothing els ; and I 
 am as proude on't. 
 
 Flo. Do not flowt me ; and you doe, I shall grow 
 into my humour againe. 
 
 Asp. In least ? 
 
 Flo. In earnest I shall, and then I know what I 
 know. 
 
 Asp. You may ; but and you do, I shall die againe. 
 
 Flo. In least? 
 
 Asp. Nay, in earnest, madam, and then . 
 
 Flo. No more ; thou hast driuen mee cleane out of 
 conceite with my humor. I loue thee, I confesse it : 
 shalt be my husband, ile Hue with thee ; thou art my 
 life, and ile die with thee. 
 What more I meane is coated in my looke, 
 If thou acceptst it, sweare. 
 
 Asp. I kisse the booke.
 
 46 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Flo. Boy, run to the master of my giindelo, and 
 will him attend m.e after supper at the garden staires ; 
 I meane to take the euening ayi'e, tell him. 
 
 Pa. It shall he done, madam. \_E.eit. 
 
 Flo. Nay, if I say the word, it shall be done Aspero. 
 
 Boij. Look to your selfe, my lord ; I lay my life, 
 my lady means to steale you away to night. 
 
 Asp. Away ? ile call Hortensio, ile not be accessary 
 to your fellony, madam. 
 
 Enter Hortensio, and his man Assistance, luitlt a letter. 
 
 Flo. The foole comes without calling. 
 
 Ass. You shall know him by these signes. 
 
 Hart. Good figure, very good figure ; for as the 
 house is found out by the signe, so must this traytor 
 be sented out by the token ; vp with the first signe, 
 good Assistance. 
 
 Ass. A proper man without a beard. 
 
 Hot. How, a proper man without a beard ? we shall 
 scarce finde that signe in all Venice : for the propernesse 
 of a man Hues altogether in the fashion of liis beard ; 
 good Assistance, the next. 
 
 Ass. Faire spoken and well conditioned. 
 
 FLort. More straunge : you shall haue many proper 
 men fayre spoken, but not one amongst twenty well 
 condicioned: but soft ; tliis should be the house, by the 
 signe ; I must pick it out of him by wit.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 47 
 
 Flo. As good say steale, my lord ; what mary-bone 
 of witte is your iudgement going to pick now ? 
 
 Hort. I must, like a wise iustice of peace, picke 
 treason out of tliis fellow. 
 
 Flo. Treason? 
 
 Hort. I, treason, madam ; know you tliis hand ? 
 
 FJo. My roiall fathers. 
 
 Hor. Then, whilst you and your fathers letters talke 
 togither, let me examine this fellow : are you a proper 
 man without a beard ? 
 
 Asjo. My propernes, sir, contents me : for my beard, 
 indeed that was bitten the last great frost, and so 
 were a number of justices of peace besides. 
 
 Hort. Tis rumourd about the court that your name 
 is Aspero. 
 
 J.SJJ. I am call'd Aspero. 
 
 Hor. Sonne to the duke of Mantua that was ? 
 
 Asjj. The duke of Mantuaes sonne that is. 
 
 Hort. Then the duke of Mantua has a traytor to 
 his Sonne ; lay hands of him, and to close prison with 
 him. 
 
 Flo. Can he be closer then in my custody ? 
 
 Hort. I do not thinke so, madam ; but your father 
 has imposde the trust vpon me. 
 
 Flo. And dare not you trust mee ? 
 
 Hor. With my head, if you were my wife ; but not 
 with my profit, if you were my mother : will you 
 along, sir r*
 
 48 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 AsjJ. With all my heart, sir; see what your hu- 
 mour's com.e to now : go, my lord ? as wilhngly as a 
 slaue from, the gaUies : for as I shaU haue a stronger 
 prison, so I shall bee sure of a kinder and a "wdser 
 iaylor. 
 
 Flo. Do you obserue how he flowts you, my lord ? 
 That I had bin his keeper but one night longer : but 
 keepe him close, if he escape (though against thy 
 will) as I am a mayd,— 
 
 Hort. A maide against your will. 
 
 Flo.   — shalt pay as deere for't as thou didst for thy 
 office. 
 
 Hort. If he scape, hang me. 
 
 \_Exit and As. with Aspero. 
 
 Flo. I shall wish thee hangd, if he do not : treason ! 
 I may thanke my peeuish humor fort. 
 
 Enter Page. 
 
 Page. Madam, the gundelo is ready. 
 
 Flo. Thou bringst physicke when the patient's dead, 
 boy : our least's tumd earnest. 
 
 Pa. Is a dead in earnest ? 
 
 Flo. As good, or rather worse ; hee's buried quick. 
 
 Pa. madam, many a good thing has bin buried 
 quick and suruiu'd againe ; I would bee buried quicke 
 my selfe, and I might choose my graue. 
 
 Flo. Hee's buried in close prison, boy ; hee's
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 49 
 
 knowne foi^ the duke of Mantuaes sonne, and by my 
 fathers letter attached for a traytor. 
 
 Pa. Good gentleman, and I be not sorrie for him : 
 who is his keeper ? 
 
 Flo. The testie asse Hortensio. 
 
 Pa. Vdsfoot, lets enlarge him. 
 
 Fin. Not possible, boy. 
 
 Pa. Not possible ? tis : weele cousen his keeper. 
 
 Flo. We cannot. 
 
 Pa. Cannot ! we can : yonr father made a lord of 
 him ; but be rul'd by me, his daughter shall make a 
 foole of him. You are not the first woman has made a 
 foole of a wiser lord then he is. 
 
 Flo. Shall he be cousend ? 
 
 Pa. As palpably as at the lotterie. My brains are 
 in labour of the stratagem alreadie. [Exeunt. 
 
 Flnh Adas Tertli. 
 
 ACTVS QVARTVS. 
 
 Filter Avfhonin, Framci^co, HippoUto, Hermia, Litcida, 
 and Octa,uio diftgiiisd. 
 
 Anth. Sons of Octauio, if your princely thoughts 
 Can stoope to such meane beauty, from this hand 
 Receiue your wiues ; but should the duke your father — 
 
 Fr. Feare not, old man, he was the meanes that 
 breath'd this spirit into vs. k
 
 50 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Hij). Wood vs to this course. 
 But should lie proue apostata, denie 
 Loue whicli he first enforcd vs to profes, 
 So firme are our inseparate affections, 
 To winne our loues weed loose the names of sonnes. 
 
 Oct. Your father thanks you ; but, hot-sprighted 
 Take counsell from experience, ere yee tie [youthes, 
 The gordian knot wliich none but heauen can loose. 
 Craue his consent : when an imperiall hand 
 Shakes a weake shed, the building cannot stand. 
 
 Fr. Not stand ? it shall : not loue himselfe can 
 mine the ground- worke of our loue. 
 
 Oct. Not loue ! 
 
 Hip. Not loue, 
 Should a speak thunder ; then go boldly on, 
 Our loue admits no separation. 
 
 Oct. Then to mine office : in the sighte of heauen 
 
 your loue is chast. 
 
 Fra. ■) 
 
 (■ As innocence white soule. 
 Hip. j 
 
 Oct. And yours. 
 
 Herm. f 
 
 > And ours. 
 Lucid. \ 
 
 Oct. Then lend me all your hands, 
 
 Whilst thus a fathers tongue forbids the bands. 
 
 [Biscouers himselfe. 
 
 Forgctfull boyes ! but most audacious traytor,
 
 HUMOUK OUT OF BREATH. 51 
 
 That durst in thought consent to wrong- tliy prince, 
 Out of my sight ; no land that calls me lord 
 Shall beare a waight so hatefull as thy selfe : 
 Liue euer banishd. If (three dales expirde) 
 Thou or these liistfnll strumpets — 
 
 Hip. Father. 
 
 Oct. Boyes, 
 If you be mine, show't in obedience : 
 If (three dales past) you liue within my dukedome, 
 Thee as a slaue He doome vnto the gallies, 
 And these thy brats as common prostitutes 
 Shall drie their lustfull veynes in the Burdello. 
 Come, boyes, to court ; he that first gaue you lines, 
 Will to your births prouide you equall wlues. 
 
 Fr. They haue our loues. 
 
 Hip. Our oathes. 
 
 Fr. Our hearts and hands. 
 
 Oct. Tut, loners othes, like toyes writ down in sands, 
 
 Are soone blowne ore ; contracts are common wdes 
 
 T'intangle fooles ; loue himselfe sits and smiles 
 
 At loners perluries. Bawd, strumpets hence, 
 
 My bosome's chargde, glue way to violence : 
 
 Come, doe not mind them. 
 
 [Exeunt Anth. and Im daughters. 
 
 Fran. How ? not minde them, father ? 
 
 When in yom' court you courted vs to lone. 
 
 You red another lecture : women then 
 
 Were angells. ^ -
 
 52 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Oct. True, but that was before angells 
 Had power to make thera diuells ; they were then 
 Fiends to themselues, and angells vnto men. 
 "When vpon Po thou find'st a cole-black swan, 
 Th'ast found a woman constant to a man. 
 Fr. And not afore ? 
 
 Oct. Xeuer afore. 
 
 Sip. Your tongue 
 Vnspeaks your former speech. 
 
 Oct. It doth ; new theames 
 Must haue new change of rhetoriqiie ; all streames 
 Flow not alike one way ; when I spake like a louer, 
 It was to breake you from your souldiers humour ; 
 Hauing made you louers, I, Hke enuy, speak 
 To make you hate loue ; art still striues to breake 
 Bad to make better. 
 
 Brothers. You haue your wish. 
 
 Oct. Then onward to the court, 
 Make vs of loue as schoole-boyes do of sport. 
 
 [Exeunt. 
 
 Enter Flmimsll and her Page. 
 
 Flo. Call out the iaylor, boy, — yet doe not ; hast 
 got a beard like Hortensio ? 
 
 Page. Yes, madam, I haue got his hayre ; if I 
 coulde come as easily by his wit. 
 
 Flo. WouMst rob him of liis wit?
 
 nmiouR OUT of breath. 63 
 
 Pa. If I sholcl, he could not liang me for't : tis not 
 wortli tMrteen pence halfe penny. But what shall I 
 with it ? 
 
 Flo. Put it on, boy. 
 
 Pa. That shall I, madam. O forward age, I am a 
 man already : how do you like me, lady ? 
 
 Flo. Very ill, and my plot worse. 
 
 Pa. Then leaue't of. If you be grounded in the 
 plot, you win but marre the comedy. 
 
 Flo. I purposde, thou, in the habit of Hortensio, 
 shouldst vnder pretence of remouing Aspero to a new 
 prison, haue freed him out of the old one. 
 
 Pa. Tut, I can tell you a trick worth two of that ; 
 madam, your eare, take some care in the managing, 
 and let me alone to prepare it. [Exeunt. 
 
 Enter Aspero and his Boy. 
 
 Boy. Vdsfoot, breake prison, my lorde, tis but 
 swimming the riuer. 
 
 AsiJ. Breake prison ? twere both dishonour to my 
 name, and treason to my loue ; what benefit wer't for 
 me to free my body, and leaue my heart in bondage ? 
 ile die, ere Ue harbour a disloyaU thought. 
 
 Pa. It beares no reUish of disloyaltie : being in 
 prison you Hue as far from loue as Hberty: being 
 abroad, you may by letters, or a thousand meanes, 
 purchase hir company, and compasse your content.
 
 54 HUMOUR OUT OP BREATH. 
 
 A-qj. Shalt be my lawyer, boy, and counsell mc. 
 
 Boy. He looke for my fee, then. 
 
 As]). If thy counsell prospers. 
 
 Boy. Thats an exception lawyers neuer respect ; 
 but come, my lord, leape ; as we haue risen togither, 
 weele fall togither. 
 
 Enter Hort., Florimell and Page. 
 
 Asp. Blame me not, loue. 
 
 Boy. Vdsfoot, your iaylor, my lord. 
 
 Asp. Am I preuented ? 
 
 Boy. Yes faith, there had bin a counsellors fee cast 
 away now. 
 
 Hort. You haue heard his vsage, lady, scene his 
 lodging, and if it please you, you both may and shall 
 confer with him. 
 
 Flo. Prithee call him. 
 
 Boy. My lord, your keeper hath brought a lady or 
 two to see you. 
 
 Asp. To see me ? why, am I turnd monster ? doth 
 he take money to shew me ? what doth a take a 
 peece, troe ? 
 
 Flo. Why, how now, gallant, not gone yet ? 
 
 Asp. Not, I thanke you, lady, and yet I was neer't. 
 
 Hort. How do you, man ? 
 
 Asj). Musty for want of ayring. 
 
 Fin. Wccle haue you hangd out i'thc hvah. ayre 
 one of these mornings.
 
 HUMOUK OUT OF BREATH. 55 
 
 Anp. Toud be glad to take me in, then, 
 
 Flo. Yes, when you had hangd abroad a little : but 
 my lorde Hortensio (for I think I must be your lady 
 when all's done), what sport? I would be merry a 
 purpose to make him mad ; the room's priuate and fit 
 for any exercise. 
 
 Pa. Vdsfoot to her, can a woman offer fairer 
 for't ? 
 
 Hort. Why, shall we go to span-counter, madam ? 
 
 Pa. To span-counter ; best ask her, and sheele go 
 to coits. 
 
 Flo. No, I loue some stirring exercise ; my body's 
 condiciond hke the sun, it would neuer be out of 
 motion. 
 
 Hot. I hau't, yfaith ; when I was student in Padua, 
 we vsde a most ingenious pastime. 
 
 Flo. The name, my lord ? 
 
 Eort. I cannot giue it a name equall to the merit. 
 Tis vulgarly calld Blindmans buffe. 
 
 Pa. Blind mans buffe ? ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Eort. Do you laugh at it ? 
 
 Flo. At the happines of your wit, my lord, that you 
 shoulde hit vpon that sport, which of all other I 
 delight in. 
 
 Eor. Wm you heare an apology I made in the 
 
 commendation of it ? 
 
 Flo. Weele haue the tiling it selfe first ; and as we
 
 56 HUMOUR OUT OF BEEATH. 
 
 like that, weel heare youi" apologie aftei- : avIio shall 
 be hud-winckt first ? 
 
 Pa. Who, but the author ? 
 
 Hort. I, I, none shall be blind but I ; helpe of with 
 my gown, boy. 
 
 Pa. What shall we haue to blind him? 
 
 Flo. My scarfe. Take my scarfe, my lord. 
 
 Pa. There's a simple fauour for you. 
 
 Hort. And most fit, for indeed nothing blinds loners 
 sooner then ladies fauoui's. But who shall blind me ? 
 
 Flo. Mary, that will I, my lord ; let me alone to bHnd 
 you. 
 
 Hmi. Good againe ; for who should bhnd men but 
 beautious women ? Come, sweet madam. 
 
 Flo. But how if you take me ? as I know that will 
 be your ay me. 
 
 Hort. K I take you prisoner, madam, you must 
 either bee hudwinckt your selfe, or giue your conqueror 
 a kisse for your ransome. 
 
 Flo. An easie ransome : ile not be prisoner long, if 
 a kisse will enlarge me. 
 
 Pa. Lord, what scambling shift has he made for a 
 kisse, and cannot get it neither ; a little higher, so, so, 
 so ; are you blind, my loi'd ? 
 
 Hort. As a purbhnd poet : haue amongst you, blind 
 harpers. 
 
 Flv. Mc thinks he looks for all the world like God 
 Cupid.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 57 
 
 Pa. Take heed of Ids dart, madam, he comes vpou 
 you. 
 
 Flo. He cannot come to fast. I am taken prisoner. 
 
 Hort. Your ransome's but a kisse. 
 
 Flo. Is that your law of armes ? 
 
 Hort. Yes, madam ; but ile take it on your lips. 
 
 Flo. My lips, Hke faithfull treasurers, shall see it 
 discharged. 
 
 Hort. And here are my honest receiuers to take it. 
 [T/ie Page puts Ms pantojle to Ids lips ; he kisses it. 
 
 Flo. Am I freed now ? 
 
 Plort. As if you had seru'd seauen yeare fov't : sweete 
 kisse, rare Hppe. 
 
 Pa. Has she not a sweet breath, my lord ? 
 
 Hort. As perfume. 
 
 Pa. And a soft lip ? 
 
 Hort. And smooth as veluet; I could scarce discerne 
 it from veluet : ide pawne my office for the feUow on't, 
 madam. 
 
 Pa. Here. 
 
 Flo. Here, Aspero, on with this beard and gowne : 
 I thinke hee foUowes me by the sent. His hat, so : 
 a narrow misse yfaith, my lord ! 
 
 Hort. Gone, madam ? 
 
 Flo. Euen vpon going. One of you counterfet my 
 my voice. There, I deceiud you, my lord. 
 Hort. Haue you decciu'd me, madam ?
 
 58 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Flo. Not yet, but I will and you look not the better 
 too't. Busie him till you thinke we are out of the 
 court, and then followe vs : you shall find vs at the 
 south port. Now or neuer, my lord. 
 
 Hort. Why then twill neuer be, lady. 
 
 Boy. Here. 
 
 Hor. Where ? 
 
 Boy. Here. 
 
 Hort. Scapt againe ? 
 
 Pa. Shee's scapt indeed, my lord ; you may cast 
 your cap after her, for I see you can do no other good 
 vpon hir. 
 
 Hort. What, haue I catchd you ? 
 
 Pa. Kisse her and let her goe. 
 
 Hort. Kings truce tUl I breath a Httle. 
 
 Pa. And you had neede so, for I thinke you are 
 almost out of breath ; if you be not, you shall be, and 
 thats as good ; but breathe and spare not. 
 
 Enter Aspero, like Hortetisio, Florimell, a/nd Assistance, 
 on the vpper stage. 
 
 Asp. Did you euer conuerse with a more straunger 
 dissolute, madam ? 
 
 Flo. Peremptory iacke, iaylor, as you respect your 
 office, lay speciall watch that none of what degree 
 soeuer haue accesse to him. 
 
 Aq). Without me r*
 
 HUMOL'i; OUT OF BKEATH. 59 
 
 AiSd. Or yoiu" signet. 
 
 AsjJ. Signet mee no signets ; your goldsmiths shop 
 is like your swans neast, has a whole brood of signets, 
 and all of a feather ; and amongst many, one may be 
 like another. Let none enter vpon the stage where 
 Aspero playes the madam, without Hortensio. 
 
 Ass. Is he mad, my lord ? 
 
 Asp. As the lord that gaue all to his followers, and 
 beg'd more for himselfe. 
 
 Flo. If he call for me, tell him I scome him. 
 
 Asp. If he counterfet my voice (as mad fellowes 
 will counterfet gTeat mens hands, and theii' tongues 
 too) rate him for't, threaten him with the whip. 
 
 Flo. But come not at him. 
 
 Asp. If he call for meate, promise him faire. 
 
 Flo. But giue him none. 
 
 Ass. If for Hght ? 
 
 Flo. He-anay fire the house, let him hauc none. 
 
 Asp. If he chafe, laugh. 
 
 Flo. If he rayle, sing. 
 
 Asj). If he speake fayre, flowt him. 
 
 Flo. Do anything to vexe him. 
 
 Asp. But nothing to content him ; you hcaro my 
 charge ; as you respect your office, regard it. 
 
 Ass. I wame you, my lord, let mee alone, and we 
 knew not how to abuse a prisoner, we were not worthy 
 to be a iaylor. [Exeunf.
 
 60 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Tliey renew blind mmis Imffe on the lower stage. 
 
 Pa. Are you in breath, my lord ? 
 
 Sort. As a bruers horse, and as long winded ; looke 
 to your selfe, madam, I come vpon you. 
 
 Boij. I am ready for you, sir ; for a bul-rush to 
 run a tilt at's nose. 
 
 Pa. A fayre misse yfaith. 
 
 Hart. lie mend it next course, you shall see. 
 
 Pa. In the corner of the left hand ; vdsfoot, ware 
 shins, my lord. 
 
 Hort. Madam. 
 
 Boy. Here. 
 
 Hort. Where ? [The hoy throwes hmi downe. 
 
 Helpe me vp, madam. 
 
 Boy. strange ! cannot you get vp without helpe ? 
 there's my gloue, but come no neerer, as you loue me. 
 
 Sort. I do loue you, madam. 
 
 Boy. Oh ! blind loue. 
 
 Sort. True, madam; your beauty has made me 
 blind. 
 
 Pa. Indeed, loues sonnes like spaniells are all borne 
 blind. 
 
 Sort. But they will see. 
 
 Boy. Not till they be nyne dales old, my lord. 
 
 Sort. But will you giue mee the fingers that hold 
 tliis gloue, madam? 
 
 Boy. And the whole body to pleasure you, my lord ; 
 but let me go a little.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 61 
 
 Hort. I will not loose you yet, lady. 
 
 Boy. But 3^ou shall, my lord ; hist, then keepe me 
 still. [He fastens the gloue to a jjost. 
 
 P((. Faith, let go, my lord, for she gi'owes sullen, 
 and you had as goode talke to a post, and as good 
 answer twould make you. [Exeunt. 
 
 Hort. Nay, but deere madam, doe but answer me, 
 may I presume, vppon my knees I beg it ; but to take 
 a fauour from your sweet lips, shall I ? las, I am not 
 the first man that loue has blinded. May I presume? 
 I would be loth to offend your milde patience so 
 much, as with an unreuerend touch : speake ; if 1 
 shall reape the haruest of my honest desires, make me 
 blest in proposing the time when ; what, not a word ? 
 are you displeased ? or shall I take your silence for a 
 consent ? shall I ? speake ; or if modesty locke in your 
 syllables, seale my assurance with a kisse : not neither ? 
 shall I haue neither your word nor your bond ? nay, 
 then I must make bold with modesty ; by this kisse, 
 madam. my hard fortune, haue I made suit to 
 a poast aU- tliis while ? what block but I would haue 
 bin so sencelesse ? my excuse is, 'twas but to make my 
 lady sport : and, madam, how ? lady, madam, boy ; 
 madam, Aspero ! But whist, I haue the conceite, 'twas 
 excellent in my lady, and I applaud it ; suppose my 
 lady and liir prisoner had an intent of priuate busines 
 in the next roome, was it not better in her to bhnde me,
 
 62 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 then I sliould as gentlemen vshers (cases so standing), 
 haue blinded my selfe ? againe, I applaud her, and 
 adore my starres that made me rather a bUnd then a 
 seeing dore-keeper : shall I interrupt them ? no, 
 madam ; they haue not done yet, sure they haue not. 
 What haue we here, a base violl? though I cannot 
 tickle the mynnikyn within, ile (though it be some- 
 what base) giue them a song without, and the name 
 of the ditty shall be ; 
 
 Tlie Gentleman Vshers Voluntarie. 
 (He sings.) 
 Peace, peace, peace, make no noyse, 
 Pleasure and feare He sleeping. 
 End, end, end your idle toyes, 
 lealous eies will be peeping. 
 Kisse, kisse and part, though not for hate, for pittie ; 
 Ha done, ha done, ha done, for I ha done my dittie. 
 
 And if you haue not done now, too, let me be 
 as base as my fiddle, if I rowze you not : madam, for 
 shame, what doe you meane to make of me. How ? 
 sfoote, what haue you made of me already ? all gone ? 
 laylor ? 
 
 Enter Assistance aboue. 
 
 Ass. How now, who calls ? 
 Hort. Why, saucie knaue, tis I. 
 Ass. You ; what jou ?
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BTIBATH. 63 
 
 Hort. A single V ; I came in double, but I thanke 
 tliem, they are gone out, and left me here a single. 
 
 Ass. Foole, and so I leaue you. 
 
 Hort. Knaue, I am Hortensio ; I charge thee let me 
 out. 
 
 Ass. Foole, you lye ; you are Aspero, and I haue 
 charge to keepe you in. 
 
 Hort. From whom ? 
 
 Ass. From my lord Hortensio. 
 
 Ho7-t. Sfoot, knaue, I tell thee I am hee ; and thou 
 wilt not beleeue me, trust thine eies, come in and see. 
 
 Ass. 'Twill not serue your turne. I Hke a whole 
 skinne better then a pinkt one : content your selfe 
 to night, and in the morning ile tell you more. 
 
 Hort. Where's my lady? send her hither. 
 
 Ass. Shoe's busie with my lord Hortensio; but if 
 you haue any vse for a woman, ile send you one of the 
 laundi-esses : fare you well, sir, bee content, you shall 
 want nothing of anything you haue. 
 
 Hort. Hortensio gone out ! and my ladie busie with 
 Hortensio ? I am guild, palpably guild : whilst I hke a 
 blocke stood courting the post, Aspero is in my apparrell 
 escapde. Villains ! traytors ! open the doore, the duke's 
 abusd, his daughter's fled : I proclaime yee all traytors 
 that hinder me in the pursuit. 
 
 Ass. for a reasonable audience to applaud this 
 sceane of merryment: ile goe call my lady and my 
 lord Hortensio. [J^^^*-
 
 C4 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Hort. Blindmans biiffe ? I liauc bufft it fairely, and 
 mine owne guUery grienes me not half so mucli as the 
 dukes displeasure. laylor ! not a word ? laylor, there's 
 no way to please a knaue but fayre words, and gold : 
 honest Idnde iaylor, here's gold for thee : doe but 
 take pittie vpon me, a miserable eony-catchd courtier. 
 Not ? neither fayre nor foule ? thou art a degree worse 
 then a woman ; what shall I do ? I can compare my 
 fortune, and my vnfortunate selfe, to nothing so fithe 
 as my base here ; wee suffer eueiy foole to play vpon 
 vs for their pleasure ; and indeede 'twas the intent of 
 our Creator that made fiddles and seruitors to nothinsr 
 but to be playd vpon, and playd vpon wee shall bee, 
 till our heart strings crack, and then they either cast 
 vs aside or hang vs vp, as worthy no other imploy- 
 ment. Well, if I can worke my meanes of escape, so : 
 if not, I must lie by it. [Exit. 
 
 Fwis Achis Qimrfl. 
 
 ACTVS QVINTVR. 
 
 Enter Octauio, Francisco, Hippolito, Flainineo, Sfc. 
 
 Mt daughter fled ! and with Hortensio ? 
 It beares no formal! shape of likelyhood ; 
 Hir eagle spirit soard to proud a pitch, 
 To seize so base a prey ; let priuy search e
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 05 
 
 Look through the citties bosome till they find her : 
 For gone she is not. 
 
 Fr. Has not Anthonies sonne 
 Sent them by some base practise to their death ? 
 Oct. His breasts too full of honor. Trusty lulio I 
 
 Enter lulio. 
 
 What waighty businesse drawes thee from thy charge ? 
 lul. Came not the cause afore me ? the proud 
 Basely reuolt, deposde me from the seate [Mantuans 
 And chayre of regentship, sending in quest 
 Of proude Anthonio their late-banisht duke ; 
 Him if they find or Aspero his sonne, 
 
 [Enter Assist. 
 
 Theile reinstall hira in the regiment. 
 
 Oct. Him let them seeke in the vast shades of 
 
 death. As for his sonne — 
 
 Ass. Hee's sure ynough, my lord ; he Avas a mad 
 knaue when he came in, but I thinke I haue made a 
 tame foole of him by this time : for a has neither had 
 bread nor water these foure and forty houres. 
 
 Oct. More villain thou. 
 
 Ass. My lord, Hortensio was the villain ; ho left 
 such command with mee ; hee's the wheele that 
 tumes about, and I, a country lack, must strike when 
 I am commanded. 
 
 Od. Although my foe, hee's honorably tenipred, 
 
 F
 
 66 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Yet armd against my life : goe call liim forth, 
 
 Guard in my safety witli a riag of Steele, 
 
 And marks liow proudly lieele demeane reuenge. 
 
 Enter Assistance, and Hortensio bareheaded with 
 his crowd. 
 
 Ass. Goblins, spirits, furies, faeryes ! the prison is 
 haunted ! 
 
 Oct. With a knaue, is't not ? 
 
 Ass. Yes, and an olde foole, my lorde, in the like- 
 nesse of Hortensio. 
 
 Oct. VUlain, where's Aspero ? 
 
 Ass. I know not, my lord : I let liim in and my 
 lady to laugh at him ; and it seemes, he consented to 
 treason, and let him out in his apparreU. 
 
 Hor. They consented togither to cousen me : for 
 taking delight (as my betters may doe) in a foohsh 
 pastime called bhndmans buffe, they stole away my 
 gowne, escapt the prison, and left mee in fooles para- 
 dice, where what song T haue playd my violl can 
 witnesse. They made me a Httle better then a bawd, 
 my lord. 
 
 Fr. In act. 
 
 Mort. Not meerly in act : sed corjitotione, et id satis 
 est vt inquit Suetonius. 
 
 Oct. Is hee escapt, and Florimell with him ? Hor- 
 tensio, thy head shall answer it.
 
 HIBIOUH OUT OK r!Rr,ATH. 67 
 
 Hort. I pray let my tongue be my heads attui-ney, 
 and pleade my excuse. 
 
 Oct. Vrge no excuse. Away ^^^^tll liim to prison. 
 
 Ass. It shall be done, my lord. 
 
 Oct. I^ay, you, sir, too, shall taste of the same 
 sauce ; away with both. 
 
 Flammeo. Come, my sonnes. 
 Lets leauy present armes gaynst Mantua. 
 Being scarce come home, we must abroad againe ; 
 The common good's a carefuU princes payne. 
 
 \_Exeunf. 
 
 Enter AntJionlo, Lacida, Hermia, and Lords. 
 
 Anth. You that in all my banisht pilgrimage 
 Would neuer aHenate your natural! loues, 
 But in desire to see me reinstalld 
 Haue thrust out proude Octauioes substitute. 
 And seated me in antient dignity, 
 I am yours, and ready at your best dispose. 
 
 Lord. Yom- owne, my Hege, we like inferiour lights 
 Take life from your reflection, for like stars 
 Vnto the sunne, are counsellours to kings : 
 He feeds their orbes with fier, and their shine 
 Contend to make his glory more diuine. 
 And such are we to great Anthonio. 
 
 Anth. The veynes and arteries of Anthonio 
 Tlu-ough which the bloud of greatnesse flows in vs. 
 
 f2
 
 68 HUMOUR OCT OF BREATH. 
 
 Ooi- liie, and cause efficient of oiu' state, 
 And these our prety partners in exile. 
 
 Lord. We ha yet performd but the least part of 
 duetie, 
 Your reinstalment : it rests, that with our bloud 
 We keepe out innouasiue violence. 
 
 Ant. You new-create me, and breath second life 
 Into my dying bosome ; knew my sonne 
 Of this vnlookt-for fortune ; but ill fate 
 Hast playd the traytor, and giuen vp his life 
 To coward treason. (J. slwut ivithin.) 
 
 Enter Aspero and Florimell ivltli their Pages. 
 
 Asj). Vdsfoot, what offence haue I committed against 
 the state, that these yron-handed plebeians so applaud 
 me for ? 
 
 Flo. Tis a signe they loue you. 
 
 Asp. I had rather they should hate me ; it makes 
 mee suspect my bosome ; for they loue none but the 
 masters of factions, treasons, and innouasions. 
 
 Flo. Then you doe not loue the commons. 
 
 Asp. Yes, as wise men doe their flattering wiues, 
 only for show : the popidar voyce is like a crie of 
 hauling hounds ; and they get the foote of a fantas- 
 ticke and popular-affecting statesman, they neuer 
 leaue him, till they haue chac'd him into disgrace, 
 and then, like hounds, are at a losse, and with their
 
 HUMOUE OUT OP BREATH. G9 
 
 losse — See, I haue found my father. Safety attend 
 you. 
 
 Antli. Welcome, thou hope of Mantua and of vs. 
 We now are honors new-beginners, boy, 
 And may we better thriue then heretofore. 
 
 AsiJ. Neuer doubt it, father ; I haue attractiue stuffe 
 that will draw customers. 
 
 Anth. What lady's that ? 
 
 Fh. One that has playd the part of a constable, — 
 brought you home a runaway. 
 
 Asp. A friend of mine, father, but daughter to your 
 arch-enemy. 
 
 Anth. Octauioes daughter ? 
 
 Asp. Yes faith ; you are out with the father, and ile 
 see if I can fall in wdth the daughter, 
 
 Flo. And am I not a good child to leaue my fathers 
 loue at sixe and seauen, and hazard my honor vpon 
 your sonnes naked promise, and your hopeful! ac- 
 ceptance. 
 
 Asp. She has followed me through much danger. 
 
 Anth. The better welcome ; I loue her for't. 
 
 Asp. Like her and you please, id'e haue no body 
 loue her but my sehe. 
 
 Anili. And, lady, though your father be our foe. 
 The vertuous loue betwixt our sonne and you. 
 May nerethelesse retaine his simpathie. 
 
 Flo Shall nerethelesse retaine his simpathy ; 
 Anthonio, know I am loues resolute,
 
 70 HUMOUR OUT OP BREATH. 
 
 Confirnxd and grounded in affection : 
 I lou'd your sonne, not for lie was a prince, 
 But one no better then his present fortunes, 
 He loue him. still, since first I lon'd him so, 
 Let father, friends, and all the world say no. 
 
 Asp. There's mettle, father ; how can wee choose 
 but get cocking children, when father and mother too 
 are both of the game. 
 
 Enter Messenger. 
 
 Mess. To armes, my lord ; Octauio comes in armes, 
 To giue a proud assault vnto the citty. 
 
 Asp. Proud his assault, as proud be our resist, 
 Vye shot for shot, and stake downe life for life. 
 Our brest's as bold as theirs, oui- bloud as deepe, 
 AE that wee'l loose, or this our gettings keepe. 
 
 Her. Come, brother, talke not of deuouring war 
 Say, messenger, comes not Octauioes sonnes ? 
 
 Mess. They do, as proudly as the morning sunne 
 Beating the azurd pauement of the heauen. 
 
 Her. Then feare not, father, my sister and my selfe 
 WiU be your champions, and defend the citty. 
 
 Flo. Why, ladies, haue you such large interest in 
 our brothers ? 
 
 Fr. Princesse, we haue. Withhi there : reach om* 
 shields ; 
 Wlicn beau.ty fights, the God of battaile yeelds. 
 
 [Fxcunt.
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH, 71 
 
 Enter Francisco, Hipjpolito, Flamineo, lulio. 
 
 Enter Anthonio, Aspero, Florimell, two Pages, Lords and 
 
 Messenger ahoue. 
 
 Flo. They offer pai-lee, let me answer tliem. 
 Brothers, how now ? who made you souldiers ? 
 Faith een my father, as he made yon loners ? 
 What, hath he chang'd yonr shepheards hooks to 
 Of Amoradoes made yon armed knights ? [swords ? 
 O seld-seene metamorphosis ! I haue knowne 
 Souldiers tnrne loners, but for amorous loners 
 To re-assume their valour, tis a change 
 Like winter-thunder, and a thing as strange. 
 
 Fr. Our sister prisoner ? 
 
 Bip. Tell me, Florimell, 
 Dost thou Hue there enforc'd, or of free-will ? 
 
 Flo. Freewill, brothers, mine owne freewill; all free 
 in Mantua ; here's freewill yfaith, speake, am I not a 
 free-woman ? 
 
 Pa. As ifyon had sem'dfor't ; any man may set vp 
 under hir copy without a protection. 
 
 Fr. I, wag, are yon there too ? 
 
 Pa. Yes, faith, my lord ; my lady has had my atten- 
 daunce to a hayre. 
 
 Flo. Yon he, boy. 
 
 Pa. K not mine, some bodies els : there's one has 
 done . 
 
 Asjo. What hane I done, sirra ?
 
 72 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 Pa. Nay notliiiig, but wliat my lady was very well 
 content with. 
 
 Fr. Why, sister, shame you not to set your loue 
 On one that is our fathers enemie. 
 
 Flo. Shame ? not a whit. But come, your wenches, 
 brothers ; 
 I make no question, I haue won my wager, — 
 Are they as faire as I ? 
 
 Hi/p. Leaue that to triall. 
 Aspero, make surrender of our sister. 
 
 Asp. And haue her in quiet possession ? what do 
 you thinke me ? 
 
 Ft. We thinke thee a proud villain, and our foe. 
 
 Flo. By heauen, th'are villains all that thinke him so. 
 
 Hip. Why, doe you loue him? 
 
 Flo. I should curse my selfe 
 If I should hate him. 
 
 Ft. Bring the ladders forth ; 
 Brauely assault to separate their hues. 
 
 [As they are scalmg the walls, the ladies come forth. 
 
 Her. Stand, proud Francisco. 
 
 Pa. Stand ! excellent word in a woman. 
 
 Liic. Hold, Hippolito. 
 
 Pa. Hold ! vp with that word, and tis as good as 
 the other. 
 
 Fr. What nymphe or goddesse in my Hermiaes 
 Stands to debar my entrance to the towne ? [shape,
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 73 
 
 Pa. Madam, I wonder they enter not. 
 
 Flo. Why, boy, it seemes they dare not. 
 
 Pa. cowards, and haue two such fayre breaches 
 
 Fr. Inunortall Pallas, that art more diuine, [already. 
 In my loues beautie, than thou cloth' st thee in ; 
 Withdraws thy selfe, and giue our fury limits. 
 
 Her. I will ; but first, Francisco, take my shielde. 
 
 Luc. And mine, as challenge to a single combat. 
 
 Her. Read the co(nditions, and returne your answers. 
 
 Flo. Well done, yfaith, wenches. O that the olde 
 gray-beard, my father, were here ! ide haue a bout 
 with him, as I am honourable. 
 
 Fr. Whats here ? 
 A shepheard wooing of a countrymaide. 
 As she sits angling by a riuers side ; 
 By them an aged man making a net ? 
 The motto : 8ic ! this emblems morrall is, 
 The former loue I had with Lucida, 
 And this hope tells me that's faire Lucida. 
 
 Hip. Brother, my shield the like presents to me, 
 But holds far more familiar reference ; 
 Here doth the amorous shepheard kisse the nymph ; 
 Which she with a chast blush consents vnto : 
 And see, a gloomy man, clad like a pilgrim. 
 Comes in, and seperates their sweete dehghts : 
 The motto. Sic ! I, so my father came. 
 And banisht me from beautious Hermia ;
 
 74 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 
 
 And. this, hope tells me, is faire Hermia. 
 
 Fr. The more I looke, the more m.e thinkes tis she, 
 
 Hbjp. The more I think, the more I find tis she. 
 
 Fr. What should I thinke, to proue it is not she ? 
 
 Fl^o. Looke, thinke, find, proue, do what you can. 
 These are the wenches that you courted than : 
 Then, hony bees, lay by your smarting stings, 
 And buz sweet loue into your ladies eares ; 
 Tell them of kisses, and such prety things ; 
 These drumming dub adubs loues pleasure feares. 
 
 Fr. heauen, oh fortune, and most happie stars ; 
 Do I find loue, where I expected wars ? 
 
 Kip. I that but now was all for war and death, 
 Am made aU loue ; wars humour's out of breath. 
 
 Fitter Odauio, IiiUo, mid others. 
 
 Oct. How, my sonnes loue the daughters of my 
 foe ? it cannot be. 
 
 ltd. Then question them your selfe, 
 
 Oct. Why, how now, sonnes ? is this your worth in 
 
 Fr. Why, are we not in armes, father ? [armes ? 
 
 Hijy. Yes, and in such armes as no coward but 
 woulde venture life to march in. 
 
 Oct. Then, boies, you loue the daughters of Anthonio? 
 
 Fr. We hk'd them first. 
 
 Hip. We keepe that liking still. 
 
 Oct. And you will loue them ?
 
 HUMOUR OUT OF BREATH. 75 
 
 Flo. Father, infaitli they will. 
 
 Oct. I, runaway, are you there ? whome has your 
 ladyship got to your husband ? 
 
 Flo. One that I stumbled on at blindman buffe ; a 
 proper man, a man euery ynch of him : and you would 
 
 say so and you knewe but asmuch as I meane to 
 
 know ere I haue done with him. 
 
 Oct. Is he not sonne vnto Anthonio ? 
 
 Asp. Great duke, I am, and prostrate on my knee, 
 I beg a peace, which if your spleene deny, 
 I proudlie stand where erst I mildly kneel'd, 
 And cast downe bold defiance from theis walls. 
 
 Oct. No more : your loues make my proud hart 
 asham'd ; 
 Your consort's sweet, and ile not be a meane 
 To make it iar : what my sonnes like shall stand. 
 By my consent, allowed and perfected ; 
 All hate is banisht, and reuenge hes dead. 
 
 AsjJ. Then, stead of speares, let Hymens torches 
 flame 
 With haUowed incence ; and the God of spright, 
 Swell vp your vaines with amorous dehght : 
 And so shut vp om- single comedy, 
 With Plautus phrase : Si ^placet, plaudite. 
 
 \_Exeunt omnes. 
 
 FINIS,
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Page 2, line 17. Aurnm Pofahile. This was one 
 of tlie medicines of the ancient alchemists. It is thus 
 alluded to in Ashmole's Tlieatrmn Cliemicmn Britan- 
 nicum, 1652, p. 422, — 
 
 And then the golden oyle called aurum potabile, 
 
 A medicine most marvelous to preserve man's health. 
 
 Page 14, line 26. But I must i^lay Dun. This 
 refers to the old rural pastime of drawing Dun out of 
 the mire. The mode of playing it is thus described 
 by Gilford,- — A log of wood is brought into the midst 
 of the room. This is Dun, the cart-horse, and a cry 
 is raised that he is stuck in the mire. Two of the 
 company advance, either with or without ropes, to 
 draw him out. After repeated attempts, they find 
 themselves unable to do it, and call for more assist- 
 ance. The game continues tiU aU the company take 
 part in it, when of course Dun is extracted ; and the 
 merriment arises from the awkward and affected 
 efforts of the rustics to lift the log, and suadiy arch 
 contrivances to let the ends of it faU on one another's 
 toes. 
 
 Page 17, Hne 24. Upright shoes. Meaning straight 
 shoes, those that will fit either foot. It is curious 
 that, in Dr. Johnson's time, the fashion of wearing 
 shoes fitted for the right and left feet had so com- 
 pletely gone out of fashion that Shakespeare's alhi- 
 sion to the practice created a difficulty with the com-
 
 78 NOTES. 
 
 mentators, whose notes on the subject, here subjoined, 
 are somewhat amusuig. The passage illustrated is an 
 allusion in King John to slippers " hastily thrust upon 
 contrary feet." 
 
 I know not how the commentators understand this 
 important passage, which, in Dr. Warburton's edition, 
 is marked as eminently beautiful, and, on the whole, 
 not without justice. But Shakspeare seems to have 
 confounded the man's shoes with his gloves. He 
 that is frighted or hurried may put his hand into the 
 wrong glove, but either shoe will equally admit either 
 foot. The author seems to be disturbed by the dis- 
 order which he describes. Johnson. 
 
 Dr. Johnson forgets that ancient slippers might 
 possibly be very different from modern ones. Scott, 
 in his Discoverie of Witchcraft, tells us : " He that re- 
 ceiveth a mischance will consider, whether he put 
 not on his shirt wrong side outwards, or his left shoe 
 on liis right foot." One of the jests of Scogan, by 
 Andrew Borde, is how he defrauded two shoemakers, 
 one of a 7'ight foot boot, and the other of a left foot one. 
 And Davies, in one of his Epigrams, compares a man 
 to a " soft-knit hose, that serves out each, leg." Farmer. 
 
 In The Fleire, 1615, is the following passage : 
 " — This fellow is like jouvupj right shoe, he will serve 
 either foot." From this we may infer, that some 
 shoes could only be worn on the foot for which they 
 were made. And Barrett, in his Alvearie, 1580, as an 
 instance of the word torong, says : " — to put on his 
 shooes ivrong." Again, in A vicrije Jest of a man that 
 was called Iloxvleglas, bl. 1., no date : " Howleglas had 
 cut all the lether for the leftc foote. Then when his 
 master sawe all his lether cut for the right foote, then 
 asked he Howleglas if there belonged not to the Icfte 
 foote a right foote. Then sayd Howleglas to his mais- 
 ter, If that he had tolde that to me before, I would 
 have cut them ; but an it please you I shall cut as 
 mani rigid shoone unto them." Again, in Frobisher's 
 Second Voyage for the Discoverie of Cataia, 4to., bl. 1.,
 
 NOTES. 70 
 
 1578 : " They also belield (to their gx'eat mamaille) a 
 dublet of caniias made after the Englishe fashion, a 
 shu^t, a girdle, three shoes for contrarie feet," &c. p. 21. 
 See also the Gentleman's Magazine, for April, 1797, 
 p. 280, and the plate annexed, figure 3. Steevens. _, 
 
 Page 50, line 2. Apostata. It was often the prac- ^tr 
 tice to write these kind of words in their original 
 form. So, in Massinger's Unnatural Gombai, — " to 
 punish this apostata with death." 
 
 Page 51, line 20. Jove liimself sits. Originally 
 from Ovid. Greene uses the idea in his Metamor- 
 phosis, — " What ! Eriphila, Jove laughs at the per- 
 jurie of lovers." 
 
 And I will take thy word : yet, if thou swear'st, 
 Thou may'st prove false; at lovers' perjuries, 
 They say, Jove laughs. — Borneo and Juliet, ii, 2.
 
 a#9^ 
 
 1^ 
 
 16 5 19
 
 SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 305 De Neve Drive - Parking Lot 17 • Box 951388 
 
 LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 90095-1388 
 
 Return this material to the library from which it was borrowed. 
 
 ivi At-K in mi 
 
 LIBRARY
 
 J 
 
 3 1158 01209 0477 
 
 UC SOUTHERN REGIOMAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 A A 000 345 753
 
 mm 
 
 Kg:. 
 
 R] 
 
 Ml