THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 MR. AND MHS. 
 ALFRED R. GIFFIM
 
 "PIKE'S PEAK OR BUST" 
 
 or 
 THE POSSIBILITIES OF THE WILL 
 
 BY D. V. BUSH 
 
 is 
 "A BACKBONE BUILDER" 
 
 YOU CAN SUCCEED. 
 
 Every person can excell in some kind of work have 
 
 you found your work? 
 Let "Pike's Peak or Bust" help you.
 
 THE WORKS OF D. V. BUSH 
 
 Tike's Peak or Bust," or The Possibilities of the Will. 
 Soul Poems and Other Verse. 
 Inspirational Poems. 
 
 Peace Poems and Sausages. 
 
 Just Light Stuff in Verse. 
 
 "Humorous Verse on Current Events and Other Things" 
 is a monthly periodical a get-up and take-off in verse.
 
 David V. Bush.
 
 Peace Poems 
 
 and 
 
 Sausages 
 
 By DAVID V. BUSH 
 
 Author of 
 "Pikes Peak or Bust" 
 
 '/ am in favor of world-wide Peace, 
 Spread this idea and war will cease.
 
 Copyright, 1915, 
 
 by 
 
 DAVID V. BUSH. 
 Copyright, 1916, 
 
 by 
 DAVID V. BUSH.
 
 PS 
 3^03 
 
 
 TO MY MOTHER 
 
 Without whose determined efforts, 
 unflagging zeal and inspiring exam 
 ple, my 'Tike's Peak" of life could 
 not have been attained this book is 
 lovingly dedicated. 
 
 691952
 
 PREFACE 
 
 Because this is the golden time of all ages 
 to create a world wide peace sentiment, the 
 author wrote a few "Peace Poems," feeling he 
 would like to do his mite in furthering the 
 great Peace movement. The little edition 
 created interest and comment such as the 
 following: "We have both read them thru 
 a number of times and think they are the best 
 'editorial' we have read on the war." Another 
 referring to "The Profanity of War": 
 * * "It strikes me as written by a man who 
 has been to hell and back again." Another: 
 "They speak of a spirit that leads. Keep up 
 the good work." 
 
 Actuated by the desire to serve mankind, 
 no matter how small the service (for the 
 one-talent man is just as responsible for his 
 efforts as the five) and encouraged by such 
 comment as above, I decided to add more 
 Peace Poems and others with a few "Sau 
 sages" and send forth this volume to the pub 
 lic with the hope that International Peace will 
 be a reality in this generation. If some one 
 is helped to see the "light"; if a smile is 
 smiled or a soul encouraged I shall feel that 
 my efforts shall not have been in vain. 
 
 DAVID V. BUSH.
 
 PREFACE TO SECOND EDITION 
 
 The first edition of "Peace Poems and 
 Sausages" had more errors than my most 
 severe critic could have wished for; more 
 mistakes than my most deadly enemy could 
 have prayed for; but a greater sale than the 
 most sanguine could have expected. Hence, 
 this edition goes to the public with many 
 errors corrected, many mistakes doctored, but 
 by no means perfect, either in construction 
 thought or rhythm; but with enough sweat 
 of blood together with the great joy that 
 comes with restful toil to make the his 
 tory of verse writing much more interesting 
 than fairy tales. 
 
 When the Great War broke out I saw a 
 chance to strike a blow tho feeble, the best 
 I could at the greatest curse War that 
 has ever clutched man in its foul grasp, saving 
 superstitution. The "blow" might have been 
 struck with softer language, better rhythm, 
 and neater style had I waited another decade; 
 but we must interweave idealism with the 
 practical, if we expect to reach that goal 
 ahead which the All Wise One has staked out 
 for all of us. 
 
 My ideals were buried when "Peace Poems 
 and Sausages" went to the public but I think 
 no harm was done thru the hibernation. 
 
 The success of the first edition will develop 
 my idealism rather than retard it. 
 
 I shall always strike at War, but I sincerely 
 hope that long before my pen shall have 
 ceased to write, Peace will have come to stay 
 forever. 
 
 D. V. BUSH.
 
 "And they shall beat their swords 
 into plowshares, and their spears 
 into pruning hooks ; nation shall not 
 lift up sword against nation, neither 
 shall they learn war any more." 
 Issaiah 2:6-. 
 
 AMERICA'S PRAYER 
 
 God of our fathers who fought for 
 aye 
 
 And gave us freedom here; 
 Make us so strong in faith of peace 
 
 There'll be no war to fear. 
 
 I PRINTING 
 SIOUX FALLS. 3. O.
 
 TABLE OF CONTENTS 
 
 WOMEN AND WAR AND OTHERS: 
 
 Breed Before You Die 52 
 
 Why Give Birth to Men 55 
 
 The Women Pay The Price 56 
 
 Raise Babies To Kill 60 
 
 The Christ Is Near 62 
 
 Soul Language 64 
 
 Her Boy and War 65 
 
 When Will The Soldiers Strike? 68 
 
 To Canada 70 
 
 The War Lord's Judgment 71 
 
 Departing Glory 72 
 
 Women on The War Path 73 
 
 Has Christianity Failed? 75 
 
 My Pledge 77 
 
 Benediction 78 
 
 America's Prayer 12 
 
 PEACE POEMS (See Women and War) : 
 
 Belgium Has Covered Herself With Glory 50 
 
 The Handwriting On The Wall 18 
 
 Hell's Turned Loose 20 
 
 Burning The Dead 23 
 
 If Not Burned They Stink 24 
 
 Everybody Rooting For Uncle Sam 26 
 
 The Light 27 
 
 The Dying Soldier 29 
 
 It Sickens Us 31 
 
 Little Belgium Don't You Cry 32 
 
 The Profanity of War 36 
 
 Business Men Awake 38 
 
 The Bravery of Germans 40 
 
 War and Dueling Mr. Muling 42 
 
 Sink To Death But Be Cool 43
 
 14 TABLE OF CONTENTS 
 
 Down with the War Lords 44 
 
 The Belgian Bread Line 46 
 
 I Live For King and Fatherland 47 
 
 Peace Reformers 49 
 
 The End International Courts 17 
 
 INSPIRATIONAL POEMS: 
 
 The Successful Man 85 
 
 There's No Such Thing as Failure 87 
 
 Please Don't Stop Kickin' My Name Around . . 88 
 
 Don't Lose Your Goat 90 
 
 I Will 92 
 
 Never Mind The Knocker 93 
 
 Never Say Die 95 
 
 Life's Gethsemane ' 97 
 
 The Mother Heart 98 
 
 You Can't Keep a Good Man Down 99 
 
 The Man Who Comes Back 100 
 
 The Way to Win 101 
 
 Where There's a Will There's a Way 103 
 
 The Man Who's Afraid of The Cars 104 
 
 Handicapped For Life 105 
 
 Peace Reformers 49 
 
 My Daughter, My Little Maxine 81 
 
 SOCIAL POEMS AND OTHERS: 
 
 Woman Suffrage Beaten But Not Defeated . . 1 1 1 
 
 She Lives on Six Dollars a Week 109 
 
 Gossip 114 
 
 Babies and Hogs 116 
 
 No Babies Wanted in This Flat 118 
 
 King Alcohol Bows to Suffragettes 119 
 
 Good Roads 122 
 
 Wilson's Watchful Waiting 124
 
 TABLE, OF CONTENTS 15 
 
 Aberdeen 126 
 
 Our Boy Goes On Ahead 127 
 
 Capital Punishment 129 
 
 Ode To a Landmark 131 
 
 It's You 132 
 
 SAUSAGES: 
 
 Life Is What We Make It 135 
 
 Why My Wife Left Me 137 
 
 Why I Am Single 139 
 
 Suppose 141 
 
 The High Cost of Living 143 
 
 What a Wife Should Expect From Her Husband 144 
 
 What a Man Should Expect From His Wife .... 146 
 
 What's Wrong With Matrimony 147 
 
 Catching a Morning Train 148 
 
 The Talkative Man 150 
 
 The Talkative Woman 152 
 
 How to Fight Mosquitoes 154 
 
 A Skylark's Ode to the Ford 155 
 
 Ode to a Powder Rag 156 
 
 Easter 158 
 
 Remaking Myself 159 
 
 Determinnayshun 160
 
 PEACE POEMS 17 
 
 THE END INTERNATIONAL COURTS 
 
 When this war is over believe me my friend 
 
 'Tis the bloodiest of any age; 
 We're heartsick and faint from blood and its taint, 
 
 We'll make a cleaner page. 
 
 And that page will teach believe me my friend 
 
 That peace is far better than war; 
 And, affirming for peace, all wars then will cease, 
 
 And we'll settle disputes at the bar. 
 
 When this war is over believe me my friend 
 
 Little need for navies and forts; 
 For bankrupt and heartsick man's torn to the 
 quick 
 
 We'll be glad to have treaties and courts. 
 
 When this war is over believe me my friend 
 
 Our minds on peace and its fruits 
 Will be established for aye, and no one will say 
 
 There is glory in soldiers and suits. 
 
 When this war is over believe me my friend 
 We've had so much horror and fright 
 
 So much to disgust, we'll be glad to be just, 
 Love others refrain from all fight. 
 
 When this war is over believe me my friend 
 
 Let's go for commerce and art; 
 Cease battlefields gory and war lies so hoary 
 
 And for peace, let's all do our part.
 
 1 8 PEACE POEMS 
 
 THE HAND WRITING ON THE WALL 
 
 "Weighed in the balance and found want 
 ing." That was written long ago. 
 
 Now we see the same repeated ; warring lords 
 are bound to go. 
 
 They've ruled too long the "common people," 
 but now their thrones shall fall, 
 
 For this European war is their hand writing 
 on the wall. 
 
 Business men, tradesmen, men of rank and 
 
 file, 
 Had thought on peace, had talked of peace, 
 
 fact peace was quite the style, 
 When all at once the monarchs quarrelled; 
 
 but now their thrones shall fall, 
 For this European war is their hand writing 
 
 on the wall. 
 
 If we talk peace, that's what we'll have; if 
 
 war, that's what we get. 
 The lords had talked of war; oh war their 
 
 minds were set, 
 They talked war while men talked peace, but 
 
 now their thrones shall fall, 
 For this European war is their hand writing 
 
 on the wall.
 
 HAND WRITING ON THE WALL 19 
 
 We'll not think war, we will think peace. 
 
 Peace is what we want, 
 And when the common man says "Peace", to 
 
 the war lords its "Avaunt". 
 So pack your duds and start to go, ye war 
 
 lords one and all, 
 For this European war is your hand writing 
 
 on the wall. 
 
 Now we're talking brotherhood, just that and 
 
 not the axe. 
 We are thru with you, we are thru with war, 
 
 with war and its dire tax. 
 So pack your trunk and say goodbye, ye war 
 
 lords great and small, 
 For this European war is your hand writing 
 
 on the wall.
 
 20 PEACE POEMS 
 
 HELL'S TURNED LOOSE 
 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 
 No advance yet gained." But say, 
 
 The "digging in," the Krupp guns 
 
 Beat the world for killing sons 
 
 Of mothers true who give their lives 
 
 The burdens great, of suffering wives ! 
 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 
 No advance yet gained". But say, 
 
 "Hell's turned loose!" say saint and rabble, 
 
 "With war lords leading in the saddle." 
 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 No decisive battle won." But say, 
 The soldiers slain and money spent 
 At beck and call of war lords lent 
 Ruling lords by "right Divine" 
 Homes are wrecked and children pine 
 For fathers, sons and husbands slain 
 Those loved who will not come again. 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 No decisive battle won." But say, 
 "Hell's turned loose" cry saint and rabble, 
 "With war lords leading in the saddle."
 
 HELL'S TURNED LOOSE 2 1 
 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 No victory that counts." But say, 
 The slaughtered men, the stench of blood, 
 The smell of smoke, the cries to God; 
 Fields a-famine, the carnage rank 
 As seething hell a butcher's tank 
 The bodies burned, and carcasses stiff; 
 Dismembered arms, and souls adrift; 
 The broken legs, the shattered jaws; 
 The mangled forms God's broken laws 
 Gun's shrieking crack, while cannon's roar 
 And hiss: "Our men will come no more." 
 Shrapnel screeching; fire and pillage; 
 All homes are gone in town and village. 
 Stinking dead on the firing line; 
 Butchered sons on sands so fine; 
 Husbands shot and blown to pieces; 
 Among nations prosperity ceases. 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 No victory that counts." But say, 
 "Hell's turned loose" cry saint and rabble, 
 "With war lords leading in the saddle." 
 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 
 No vantage point gained." But say, 
 
 The devil dances, smirks and fiddles 
 
 While hell fights hell; this war hell riddles 
 
 Man and beast, church and school, 
 
 And laughs at thought that "Peace can rule." 
 
 "Heavy fighting all along the way; 
 
 No vantage point gained," But say, 
 
 "Hell's turned loose" cry saint and rabble, 
 
 "With war lords leading in the saddle."
 
 22 PEACE POEMS 
 
 Why not put Christ into the saddle? 
 The Christ who loves both saint and rabble, 
 The Christ who gave His life for man; 
 The Christ who'll teach us that we can 
 Love our enemy as well as friend, 
 Our neighbors as ourselves; and then 
 There'll be no cry of saint and rabble 
 That "hell's turned loose and rides the 
 saddle."
 
 BURNING THE DEAD 
 
 ("The bodies are burned promptly in spe 
 cial furnaces erected just outside of Brus 
 sels." News item of the great war.) 
 
 "BLUR; SWISH; CLANG; BANG!" 
 
 As we neared the huge human urn, 
 That's how the furnace sang 
 
 As they threw the bodies to burn. 
 
 "BLUR; SWISH; CLANG; BANG! 
 
 Swish; clang; siz; burn!" 
 'Tis one continuous jam, 
 As they fill this pitiless urn. 
 
 "Blur; swish; clang; bang!" 
 
 As we neared the huge human urn, 
 
 That's how the furnace sang 
 As they threw the bodies to burn.
 
 24 PEACE POEMS 
 
 IF NOT BURNED THEY STINK 
 
 "Trains which we call cemetery trains, full 
 of piled up dead soldiers, continue to arrive 
 from the front. They contain bundles of 
 dead; that is, four bodies tied together to fa 
 cilitate transportation. The bodies are burn 
 ed promptly in special furnaces erected just 
 outside of Brussels." News item of the great 
 war. 
 
 Stink! Stink! ye noble braves, 
 
 Ye'll all be burned tonight; 
 Ye fell in the fight; now feed burning 
 staves ; 
 
 With no time for a funeral rite. 
 
 Stink! Stink! ye who were men, 
 You've been shot and dead too long 
 
 To have any care or thought but when 
 Can we burn you burn without song. 
 
 Stink! Stink! ye bundles of dead; 
 
 Too many to burn right away; 
 We tie you in bundles (no funeral rite 
 said) 
 
 And throw you to burn as if hay. 
 
 Stink! Stink! ye that were song; 
 
 Stink on four tied in a pack 
 You've been food for bullets, food for 
 
 guns, 
 
 You've gone where there's no coming 
 back
 
 IF NOT BURNED THEY STINK 25 
 
 Save tied together in bundles like this. 
 
 Ye who were men and could think 
 Are carrion rot where bullets hiss 
 
 And other brave men do stink. 
 
 Stink! Stink! ye brawny sons; 
 
 Stink on in bundles of four! 
 Stink! Stink ye noble ones, 
 
 Stink! 'tis man's bloody gore. 
 
 That's your reward for e'er being born, 
 
 Stink! until you burn! 
 Our souls aghast; our heart strings torn 
 
 As we think of the field and this urn! 
 
 Stink! Stink! that's what you're for; 
 
 (That's how the "war devils" feel;) 
 Die and stink; the result of war. 
 
 Man's under the war lord's heel. 
 
 When in peace will we learn to be? 
 
 No fighting or shelling or forts? 
 When men become wise, O don't you see, 
 
 And settle disputes in the courts.
 
 26 PEACE POEMS 
 
 EVERYBODY ROOTING FOR UNCLE SAM 
 
 "Everybody rooting for Uncle Sam!" 
 He's worth the root and all of that, 
 
 So root on, sons of Cain and Ham, 
 He's worth the root, you bet your hat! 
 
 Everybody rooting for peaceful Uncle, 
 He keeps his head, stays on the job, 
 
 He sues for peace, knows no rumple 
 We cannot stop our own Nabob. 
 
 Everybody rooting for Uncle Sam. 
 
 Root on, yea root while he keeps 
 
 peace ; 
 Then we'll see other nations can 
 
 Follow suit, and make wars cease. 
 
 So here's three cheers for Uncle Sam! 
 Three cheers for Sam and three for 
 
 peace! 
 
 The world "thru hell" sees he's the man 
 Who leads the way to make wars 
 cease.
 
 PEACE POEMS 27 
 
 THE LIGHT 
 
 "Civilization has gone to smash; 
 
 And Christian ethics dead; 
 The arts and trades are likewise gone" 
 
 The vile result of lead. 
 
 The race of man; his high pursuits 
 Will plod on thru the night; 
 
 For friends of man and foes of kings, 
 Methinks I see a light! 
 
 But for a time the soul is shocked; 
 
 And man's lost out don't fear 
 From all this blood and bullets thick, 
 
 We'll learn a lesson clear. 
 
 I see the end of shot and shell, 
 And fields with dreadful sight; 
 
 I see a solid race of men 
 Thru clouds there is a light. 
 
 The Light is this O sons of God 
 Tho dark may be the night, 
 
 The time will come when war will end, 
 And man no more will fight. 
 
 It's dark just now it always is 
 Before the break of dawn 
 
 But light will come, and war will go, 
 The lords are now in pawn.
 
 28 PEACE POEMS 
 
 Civilization and all things good 
 They are not gone to smash ; 
 
 Our eyes are blinded for the time 
 And now see but the gash. 
 
 But soon the smoke will blow away 
 Though shattered and besmirched, 
 
 We'll see another race come on 
 A brotherhood emerge. 
 
 Dark is the way, as we see the way 
 Just now, my son of man; 
 
 Light is the path we see beyond; 
 God'll end what He began. 
 
 Soon will plowshares and pruning hooks 
 From swords and spears be made; 
 
 When this dark night with all its clouds 
 Shall from our vision fade. 
 
 And then the Light Lo ! what a Light 
 To think all wars shall cease ! 
 
 The light I see thru this dark day 
 Is brotherhood and peace.
 
 PEACE POEMS 29 
 
 THE DYING SOLDIER 
 
 "O Hell ! It's here ! The smell of smoke, 
 The groans of dying comrades round; 
 
 The shrieks to God that wars provoke ; 
 With dreamless dead I'll soon be found. 
 
 "This wound is like a firebrand. 
 
 I catch my breath; my head will break; 
 I dare not weep, for I'm a man 
 
 Soon to die for my country's sake. 
 
 "They said our country needed us. 
 
 We thought 'twas true came with a will; 
 But now we see 'tis a ruler's fuss, 
 
 And we, the soldiers, pay the bill. 
 
 "What care the lords of war ah me! 
 That I must die? This wound, dear! 
 
 This pain, O God! How can it be 
 That I must suffer, linger here? 
 
 "Sweetheart, goodby. This stinging pain! 
 
 I'm for God's sake air! 
 Help! I say! I beg again! 
 
 For God's sake, help a-i-r h-e-l-p! 
 So t-h-e-r-e!" 
 
 * * ^r *
 
 30 PEACE POEMS 
 
 Another son for his country's sake 
 
 Lies cold and mute lies stiff and black; 
 
 Another mother's heart must ache; 
 A royal lover will not come back. 
 
 O mothers, fathers, sisters, all, 
 
 'Tis not your kindred's, soldier's fault 
 
 That you are weeping for their fall. 
 Is it not time that war shall halt? 
 
 "Away with war; let us have peace," 
 That is the slogan for this age. 
 
 "And we'll not stop until wars cease, 
 So help us, God!" say man and sage.
 
 PEACE POEMS 
 
 IT SICKENS US 
 
 We are sick of war; we are sick of warring; 
 
 We are sick of guns and killing; 
 We are ready now to sue for peace; 
 
 We are sick of grills; we are sick of grilling. 
 
 We are sick of scars; we are sick of scarring; 
 
 We are sick of bombs and bombing; 
 We are ready now to sheathe the sword; 
 
 We are sick of guns; we are sick of gunning. 
 
 We are sick of raids; we are sick of raiding; 
 
 We are sick of dashes and dashings. 
 We are ready now to call a halt; 
 
 We are sick of crash; we are sick of crashings. 
 
 We are sick of fire; we are sick of firing; 
 
 We are sick of shells and shelling; 
 We are ready now to have World Peace; 
 
 We are sick of hell; we are sick of helling.
 
 32 PEACE, POEMS 
 
 LITTLE BELGIUM DON'T YOU CRY 
 
 "To the American women nearly a million Belgian 
 mothers have held out their young and asked: 'Won't you 
 please help?'" World's Work, January, 1915. 
 
 "Our homes are gone, our cows are gone, our horses, 
 
 food, likewise our men. 
 We are starving in brave Belgium we are dying; 
 
 O please to send 
 Flour just the cheap kind flour, milk and some 
 
 corn meal. 
 Milk for babes whose lives are tender, meal and milk 
 
 God will remember 
 For mothers' milk is dried or drying; our babes are 
 
 sick; our babes are crying; 
 Hearts are bleeding; Belgium's pleading; babes and 
 
 mothers nearly dying. 
 Just a little of your bounty will relieve in town and 
 
 county, 
 God'll remember you were tender with your milk and 
 
 sympathy. 
 Our homes were sacked, our treasures packed; our 
 
 braves killed off like bees. 
 O America! O America! Won't you kindly help us, 
 
 please? 
 We were working, never shirking, when the soldiers 
 
 came our way;
 
 LITTLE BELGIUM DON'T YOU CRY 33 
 
 We had money, milk and honey then not beggars; 
 
 O, sirs, nay. 
 
 Unexpected shot and shell, all around our country fell; 
 Our braves were killed off just like cattle; we were in 
 
 the midst of hell. 
 We were beggars, aye sir, beggars, in the twinkling of 
 
 an eye. 
 O America! O America! Whom God of all has blessed 
 
 so well, 
 Send us bread, our men are dead; we have not a thing 
 
 to sell." 
 
 Will America, our America, listen to the orphans' plea? 
 Yes America, our America, will give heed our own 
 
 country 
 To the pleadings and heart bleedings of poor Belgium 
 
 and her babes. 
 Yes, brave Belgium, though all helldom try to starve 
 
 and kill your babes, 
 We will share and we will care. Yes, America with 
 
 her sons 
 Whom God blesses, now confesses it's her duty to your 
 
 wee ones. 
 So, God helping, there'll be less scalping when your 
 
 Uncle Sam steps in, 
 And doth shower milk and flour from his overflowing 
 
 bin. 
 So then take heart, we'll do our part, little Belgium on 
 
 the strand! 
 For we love you and to woo you is the pride of Uncle 
 
 Sam. 
 We're not failing, ships are sailing 'cross the sea to 
 
 Belgium land; 
 And tomorrow you can borrow all you need from Uncle 
 
 Sam.
 
 34 PEACE POEMS 
 
 When this night, this awful night, shall have passed 
 
 long since away, 
 Then brave Belgium, our loved Belgium, will have 
 
 cargoes in the bay, 
 
 And we'll be "pals", our boys and "gals", little Bel 
 gium, little brave; 
 And together we will weather, every mother and her 
 
 babe. 
 So wipe your eye, and don't you cry, little Belgium 
 
 by the sea; 
 Your babes shall live while we can give (we'll give 
 
 not grudgingly). 
 You're not beggars nor bootleggers, like some others 
 
 we can name. 
 You're true blue. The likes of you, little Belgium, 
 
 never came 
 To bless man, and never can, without our love and 
 
 sympathy. 
 So Uncle Sam and his whole land, you can count on, 
 
 yes sir-ree! 
 Our hats are off, there's not a scoff, to Belgium bravest 
 
 of the brave, 
 In America, our America, and your helpless we will 
 
 save. 
 Should America, our America, not be true and kind 
 
 , to you, 
 Then would God curse all our sod and withdraw from 
 
 us His dew. 
 But no danger, little stranger we remember days 
 
 gone by 
 And we know that what we sow we shall reap; so 
 
 don't you cry. 
 Uncle Sam, he is the man; he's in love with the likes 
 
 of you.
 
 LITTLE BELGIUM DON'T YOU CRY 35 
 
 So wipe your eye and don't you cry, little Belgium, 
 
 brave and true; 
 We do sigh when babies cry cry for milk and meal 
 
 and bread. 
 We'll be there with every care, since your sons and 
 
 men are dead. 
 So wipe your eye and don't you cry, little Belgium 
 
 by the sea, 
 Your babes shall live while we can give bread, milk 
 
 and sympathy.
 
 36 PEACE POEMS 
 
 THE PROFANITY OF WAR 
 
 (A German army annihilated. News item, 
 December, 1914.) 
 
 Napoleon, when told that his futile attempt 
 on Moscow had cost him a million soldiers, 
 replied: "What care I for the lives of a mil 
 lion men?" That sentiment is prevalent, very 
 prevalent prevalent with a big P among 
 the "war devils" today. 
 
 "An entire army shot away! 
 
 Two thousand men or more met death ! " 
 "Bah! What care we?" say 
 
 Heartless war lords, under breath. 
 
 "Any entire army gone to hell ! 
 
 But lead on more, and right away! 
 Forward march! Take aim! Shell!" 
 
 Cry war lords, and we'll slay and slay 
 
 "Until the enemy bites the dust, 
 
 And cries and begs for a truce they 
 yell 
 
 Or God damn 'em, we will thrust 
 Another bunch to be shot to hell! 
 
 "Lead on old guard, the grenadiers; 
 
 They've stood for targets many a time; 
 They've stood the brunt for many years, 
 
 But curse 'em, damn 'em! God says 
 they're mine!
 
 THE PROF A NIT Y OF WA R 37 
 
 "And are for me and for my sons. 
 
 They must expect to fight, for aye, 
 For hell! It's we who bought the guns, 
 
 So on to death, ye fools, today! 
 
 "For isn't it we, by 'right divine', 
 
 Who hold your life? You are our own, 
 
 Then Christ! go on; with your life sign 
 The deed which saves to us our throne. 
 
 "To hell with men and damn 'em too! 
 
 They're only beasts the common cur 
 So on with death till the air is blue 
 
 With yells and curses. Profane? Yes, sir! 
 
 "For who can dabble with stinking slain, 
 Dead and stinking in pyres array, 
 
 Unless he hardens soul and brain 
 
 And rather curse and damn than pray? 
 
 "So on to battle! Damn 'em! See! 
 
 Lead on another bunch, galore! 
 What the devil bah! care we 
 
 If ten thousand armies rot from war!" 
 
 When men hear Christ say: "Peace be 
 
 still," 
 
 Then no profanity nor fear, 
 For who can kill, and who can fill 
 
 The air with cursing when Christ is 
 near?
 
 38 PEACE POEMS 
 
 BUSINESS MEN AWAKE 
 
 On February 15 the Electric Steel Company 
 of Philadelphia, Pa., refused to bid on a con 
 tract which would have netted that company 
 $450,000. The contract was for one million 
 drop forge shells, wanted by the British gov 
 ernment to use in warfare. 
 
 Attached to the blue prints returned to the 
 commission by the company was a note 
 which read: 
 
 "For humanitarian reasons this company 
 finds itself obliged to refuse to consider the 
 contract." 
 
 Charles E. Bryson, president and general 
 manager of the company, said: "Our com 
 pany refused to consider this contract be 
 cause we don't think warring nations should 
 be encouraged. As long as they are able to 
 purchase supplies of this nature the war 
 will continue." Newspaper report of the 
 great war. 
 
 If business men would say the word, 
 Not counting sage and bakers: 
 
 Just BUSINESS MEN, we'd sheathe the 
 
 sword 
 And stop these war men-fakirs. 
 
 Just think of it, the business man 
 Could put a stop to fighting! 
 
 No need of others in this land 
 To send the war lords kiting.
 
 BUSINESS MEN AWAKE 39 
 
 But let us add to business men 
 
 A few from trades and art, 
 And see how quickly it would end, 
 
 If ALL but did their part. 
 
 Awake ye men, ye business men! 
 
 Awake "ye men of Athens!" 
 Awake ye men in town and glen 
 
 Awake and see what happens! 
 
 Yes, business men can stop this rage! 
 
 Then do not wait for others, 
 And write it large on history's page : 
 
 Ye are mankind's real lovers.
 
 40 PEACE POEMS 
 
 THE BRAVERY OF GERMANS 
 
 "Heaps of- dead Germans, victims of a series of relentless 
 and bloody charges against the Allies' trenches this morning, 
 form the Kaiser's birthday present. The soldiers repeatedly 
 charged, but were repulsed in the vicinity of Rheims and 
 Garonne. The fighting along the wooded heights west of 
 Garonne was most furious. There desperate infantry charges 
 followed, the Germans singing patriotic songs on account of the 
 Kaiser's birthday. He was 59 years old." News item. 
 
 The Kaiser's birthday a present they'll give 
 That's the way of the Germans so true! 
 
 "Three cheers for the day and long may he live. 
 And now for our present to you. 
 
 "We'll fight and we'll kill, and seize vantage 
 ground 
 
 And add to your kingdom some land 
 That be our present; prepare! trumpets sound! 
 
 With our blood we will soak up the sand. 
 
 "One repulse isn't much! On again to the fray! 
 
 Twice beaten isn't worth counting lost! 
 Again we march on keep it up all the day 
 
 With heaps of dead Germans the cost. 
 
 "A present to you, our ruler and lord! 
 
 March on to the bugle's shrill call! 
 Another attack with powder and sword 
 
 And heaps of dead Germans that fall.
 
 THE BRA VER Y OF GERMANS 41 
 
 " 'Tis your birthday O King; we want to be true, 
 
 We know you will smile if we win; 
 So blow, bugle, blow! march on! say adieu; 
 
 For heaps of dead Germans 's no sin 
 
 "When a birthday rolls 'round for the Kaiser, 
 So fill up the ranks ! Charge ! the air 's blue ! 
 
 With life no German's a miser; 
 
 So we heap up dead Germans for you. 
 
 "When evening falls, defeated and tired! 
 
 Each German, a German clear through; 
 We did all we could under shell and in fire 
 
 To present a nice present to you. 
 
 " 'Twas on your fifty-ninth birthday, O king, 
 Encamped by heaps of dead, so true! 
 
 We did all we could, a victory to bring 
 We heaped up dead Germans for you."
 
 42 PEACE POEMS 
 
 WAR AND DUELING MR. MULING 
 
 What's the difference betwen war and dueling? 
 
 You might ask Pop or Mr. Muling. 
 And they would say, without delay, 
 "No difference at all," Mr. Muling. 
 
 Then have no wars as we have no dueling; 
 
 Is that not logical and sane? 
 So answer please you're not at ease 
 What say you Pop or Mr. Muling? 
 
 If it's disgrace this curse of dueling 
 No longer thought it's quite the thing, 
 Then on its face, war is disgrace. 
 What say you Pop or Mr. Muling? 
 
 Let's deal with war, as now with dueling, 
 
 Call it a part of bygone age, 
 And put a stop to ancient rot 
 And quit base war as well as dueling? 
 
 I see my friend you too would end 
 
 This foolish, dreadful, hellish fighting. 
 You too would dump all in a lump, 
 And send war lords and ships a-kiting.
 
 43 
 
 SINK TO DEATH BUT BE COOL 
 
 "The other day, when the British dreadnaught Formidable 
 went down in a storm, crushed like an eggshell by torpedoes or 
 mines, her Captain Loxley, was on the bridge as she sank; and 
 his last words were: "Steady men; it's all right; keep cool; 
 do not get in a panic; be British." News item. 
 
 Steady men, all 's right; the times say so; 
 
 Go down to your death like braves; 
 Steady, all 's right; be sure not to show 
 
 Emotion, as ye sink in the waves. 
 
 Keep cool, ye brave ones, you're going to death; 
 
 'Tis war the worst of all crimes 
 Keep cool, ye brave ones, you'll soon lose your breath, 
 
 'Tis the fate of men in our times. 
 
 Ye braves, get not into a panic; 
 
 All 's right there; steady; keep cool; 
 You'll soon gasp for life, then like the Titanic 
 
 Be swallowed in ocean's great pool. 
 
 To enlist as a fighter and learn how to kill, 
 
 Is the training of men of all creeds, 
 But rest ye in this, as ye sink stiff and still, 
 
 The future will change such deeds. 
 
 'Twill not be the slayer; 'twill be the life giver 
 And the race benefactors who're braves; 
 
 They'll frown on all bullets and shelling that shiver, 
 And call him, the greatest, who saves.
 
 44 PEACE POEMS 
 
 DOWN WITH THE WAR LORDS 
 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 "Down with the bloody rulers!" say 
 Men and women the cry shall last 
 "We're through with such; their die is 
 
 cast," 
 
 Because we read, lay upon lay, 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 
 She sailed o'er a mine in Chili's bay. 
 
 When shock! shock! "Say, what is 
 
 that?" 
 
 A bomb's set off; the ship's a-crack, 
 The work is done; the ship's aleak 
 No use to cry, no use to speak 
 Of saving lives or wiring home, 
 Two thousand men beneath the foam 
 Will sleep tonight in a watery grave, 
 While man kills man, and thus does 
 
 pave 
 
 The future way with debt on debt 
 For posterity; and yet 
 A second generation will 
 Be bound by shackles of the bill 
 Of war, contracted through race fear, 
 And false conception of what is dear.
 
 DOWN WITH THE WAR LORDS 45 
 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 It's just a tale of war, we say; 
 Another cruiser with all her men 
 To die; but that's not all, for then 
 The groans and cries, the shrieks and 
 
 moans 
 Of wives and mothers, the ruined 
 
 homes, 
 
 Because another ship, they say, 
 Was sunk, and all men lost, today. 
 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 When will this stop? O war, away! 
 Down with the rulers, one and all, 
 Who rule to fight; their men to call 
 To arms for their own lust, or hate, 
 Or fame, or glory, their names to 
 make. 
 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 Down with the tyrant's awful sway 
 Of power to wield for weal or woe 
 When once they say who is their foe! 
 
 "Another cruiser sunk today." 
 "Down with the bloody rulers!" say 
 Men and women the cry shall last 
 "We're through with such; their die is 
 
 cast, 
 
 Because we read lay upon lay, 
 'Another cruiser sunk today'."
 
 4 6 PEACH POEMS 
 
 THE BELGIAN BREAD LINE 
 
 "Belgium is one long bread line of starving men, women 
 and children, clamoring for a single ration of bread and soup." 
 Theo. Waters, secretary of The Christian Herald. 
 
 "Soup, bread. O please!" they said, 
 "Give back our husbands, sons our dead, 
 And we'll not ask for soup and bread." 
 
 In Brussels they begged for soup and bread, 
 
 "Give back our husbands, sons our dead 
 
 And we'll not ask for soup and bread." 
 
 In Antwerp they cry for soup and bread. 
 Give back their husbands, sons their dead 
 And they'll not ask for soup or bread. 
 
 All Belgium moans for food, for bread, 
 "Graves everywhere; our sons are dead; 
 Give back our men and keep your bread." 
 
 O God! God! who Patriarchs led, 
 Let men know Christ who is not dead, 
 And they'll not wail for soup or bread.
 
 47 
 1 LIVE FOR THE KING AND FATHERLAND" 
 
 The war is on; the peace is gone; 
 We'll live in hell, while monarchs sell 
 
 Soldiers for fatherland. 
 Begin to sing, let bugles ring, 
 While soldiers die, and nations sigh 
 
 For kings and fatherland. 
 
 In trenches wet, we are beset 
 
 With cannon's shell and Sherman's hell, 
 
 So soldiers take your stand. 
 "But what care I, if I must die?" 
 That's what we say; kings have their 
 way 
 
 The kings of fatherland. 
 
 When you "cash in" that God sent king 
 Will yell and cry for more to die 
 
 For him and fatherland. 
 When you are dead, and vultures fed 
 On sons of men but pshaw, what then? 
 
 It's soldiers, take your stand. 
 
 I go to fight and think it's right 
 For people sing, it is the thing 
 
 To give my head, my hand. 
 War lords at ease sip wine, eat cheese, 
 And suck their pipes; send me to fight 
 
 For them and fatherland.
 
 48 PEACE POEMS 
 
 And when you die your family sigh 
 But what cares he for family? 
 
 The king of fatherland. 
 A soldier dies; he's burned like flies 
 Or rots and stinks, while the ruler thinks 
 
 You'll fight for fatherland. 
 
 I'm only one, a country's son, 
 Who's bred to be of the soldiery; 
 
 Ye soldiers take your stand. 
 Begin to sing, let bugles ring; 
 When shot to hell, your child can yell 
 
 In vain to fatherland. 
 
 So what cares he, for you or me? 
 We're only fools to keep his rules 
 
 Ye soldiers take your stand 
 Be shot to hell while demons yell 
 And he smirks by while women cry 
 
 For you and fatherland.
 
 49 
 PEACE REFORMERS 
 
 Each great reform must have its men, 
 
 Those who have strength and mighty 
 power; 
 
 No weakling ever led the ranks, 
 
 When hard the way and dark the hour. 
 
 We honor men and 'plaud them, too, 
 Who bear the thickest of the brunt, 
 
 The ones with souls and courage strong 
 Aye, strong enough to bear the blunt. 
 
 To those who brave the storm and stress 
 Advance reforms no matter what 
 
 The world owes all her song and praise, 
 But sometimes they are soon forgot. 
 
 Let us not cease to do our best, 
 No matter what the price or cost, 
 
 When duty calls or times demand, 
 Atho our noble cause is lost. 
 
 It may be lost in our short day, 
 But if the cause be just and right, 
 
 Long after we are mouldering dead, 
 The doubly blind shall have their sight. 
 
 Be not dismayed who lead the ranks, 
 Tho rough and stormy be the way, 
 
 If ye are cursed and oft misjudged, 
 Your cause shall surely win some day.
 
 So 
 BELGIUM HAS COVERED HERSELF WITH GLORY 
 
 Belgium has covered herself with glory! 
 
 But what about her men? 
 No pin or badge, no battlefield gory 
 
 Can pay for such losses, when 
 Her young and brave are shot away; 
 When harvest, horses, cows and hay 
 Are gone, and millions to be fed. 
 Say, what about her noble dead, 
 
 When you sing the song of glory? 
 
 Germany has covered herself with glory! 
 
 But what about her dead? 
 No witty reporter's breezy story 
 
 Can pay for damage done by lead. 
 Her sons are dead, her children moan, 
 Her widows, wives and sisters groan! 
 Six million mouths now to be fed! 
 Say, what about her loyal dead 
 
 When you make the plea of glory? 
 
 The Allies have covered themselves with glory ! 
 
 But what about their lost? 
 It's the same old foolish, dreadful story 
 
 The living ever pay the cost. 
 We bury the dead, our souls are fed 
 On sorrow, "wormwood, gall and lead ! 
 A nation weeps the curse of guns! 
 Say, what about her murdered sons 
 
 When you pass the cup of glory?
 
 RAISE BABIES TO KILL 61 
 
 That's why we care, with best of fare, 
 
 For baby Dave or Will 
 We give them birth and rear them up 
 
 For the army and to kill. 
 The babe we do our best to save, 
 
 Grows up our baby Bill 
 Grows up to be the pride of home 
 
 The end is, but to kill. 
 
 So mothers give ye birth to babes 
 
 And in your tears and pain 
 Do all you can to bring them up 
 
 To manhood to be slain. 
 While righting lords, with their vast 
 hordes, 
 
 Need soldiers at their will; 
 Give birth to babes and care for them, 
 
 And raise them just to kill. 
 
 But when you say, "Ye war lords, nay, 
 
 Our babes are at our will; 
 We give them birth, we raise them up 
 
 To live and not to kill!" 
 Then there will be no misery 
 
 On battle field or hill, 
 All wars will cease, for you will say, 
 
 "We have no men to kill."
 
 62 PEACE POEMS 
 
 THE CHRIST IS NEAR 
 
 Two men fought till their strength was gone; 
 Two men fought and when were done 
 Sore wounds to bind and racking pain, 
 Yet when they're well they'll fight again. 
 The cry went up, "The Christ is near." 
 They didn't know. They did not hear. 
 
 Two brothers hated with a vim 
 
 Which soiled their souls, did such a sin; 
 
 When friends begged them to be at rest 
 
 They kept it up with bitter zest. 
 
 The cry went up, "The Christ is near." 
 
 They didn't know. Hate said, "Not here." 
 
 Two men envied the other's fame; 
 They sought revenge it never came 
 But all the days of all their life 
 Were spent in bitter, wasted strife. 
 The cry went up, "The Christ is near." 
 The jealous spirit said, "Not here."
 
 THE CHRIST IS NEAR 63 
 
 The war lords thought on lust and war; 
 They thought and thought on lust galore 
 Until the earth was red with blood. 
 We cry, "Now stop this human flood!" 
 The cry goes up, "The Christ is near." 
 Now look, O world, and see him here. 
 
 At last 'tis death to lust and war; 
 For we'll have hate and lust no more, 
 At last man comes into his own 
 And ceases hate and war, for home. 
 So when we cry, "The Christ is near." 
 We'll know and see and feel him here.
 
 64 PEACE POEMS 
 
 SOUL LANGUAGE 
 
 A million souls on the way to heaven, 
 Cramming homeward thru the sky; 
 
 Here on earth they fought each other, 
 But one are they when they come to die. 
 
 Here the nations fight and slaughter, 
 
 See the murdered soldiers lie! 
 Here they hate (this racial instinct) 
 
 But one are they when they come to die. 
 
 Souls and spirits flying homeward, 
 
 Arm in arm to join on high, 
 Souls of men and soldiers singing 
 
 All are one when they come to die.
 
 65 
 
 HER BOY AND WAR 
 
 \ 
 
 Twenty years ago today 
 
 My baby came to earth. 
 No heart it seemed was better blest 
 
 When I gave my laddie birth. 
 Soon he could talk, O yes 'twas soon, 
 
 "Da-da" and "Mama," too; 
 And then what happy romps we had 
 
 Life's joys at best are few. 
 
 Soon he could walk for mind you well 
 
 The time^sped quickly past, 
 And first we knew our baby boy 
 
 Had gone to school at last. 
 From school, our boy, our little lad, 
 
 Came romping into home 
 And told of all the sport and fun 
 
 Romped out, left me alone. 
 
 Alone? Ah yes, but he was here. 
 
 I knew he would return, 
 That night would find him safe at home 
 
 With all his lessons learned. 
 Swiftly the years O those swift years 
 
 Sped by; he was.a,man, 
 Ah yes! a man how proud he was! 
 
 Swiftly the seasons ran.
 
 66 PEACE POEMS 
 
 Then like a flash the bugles called ; 
 
 My son, my little boy 
 To serve his native land you see, 
 
 Volunteered with childish joy. 
 I thought my heart would break right 
 there, 
 
 When he, all spick and span, 
 Stood as a soldier in the ranks 
 
 My boy so soon a man. 
 
 He waved goodby my son was gone! 
 
 Should I not see him more? 
 He smiled to me, then marched away; 
 
 He had gone, my boy, to war; 
 The time O, what an anxious time 
 
 Sped on and letters came; 
 But all the while there was a void 
 
 I never could explain. 
 
 It semed as though to death I went 
 
 Each time a message came; 
 My baby boy, my pride and joy, 
 
 Was now my care and pain. 
 Then letters missed no message came- 
 
 I knew God, could it be! 
 I dared not think; I only prayed 
 
 And asked for light to see. 
 
 Then came a friend there up the lane- 
 
 With head bent low and sad; 
 I saw at once the worst was nigh, 
 
 a What news of John, my lad?" 
 My baby boy, my little lad, 
 
 The baby I love, my son ! 
 I never dreamed I gave you life 
 
 To be killed by sword or gun !
 
 HER BOY AND WAR 67 
 
 We'll never meet again on earth! 
 
 But still I must be calm! 
 They burned him on a soldier's pyre 
 
 The mortal end of John! 
 I offered up my life for him; 
 
 I nourished him with care; 
 I love as only a mother can; 
 
 The end a furnace there ! 
 
 I sit alone and wonder why 
 
 We can't our troubles mend 
 Without this cruel unholy war 
 
 That kills our sons, our men! 
 Why must we women give our sons 
 
 To fight for ruling men 
 Who could, if they but wanted to, 
 
 Adjust affairs by pen? 
 
 I pray my God to give me strength 
 
 To forgive and not to curse 
 The ones who tore my boy away; 
 
 And brought about the worst. 
 I pray for more than just for me; 
 
 I'll join my martyred ones; 
 "O God, let war soon pass away 
 
 So mothers can keep their sons."
 
 68 PEACE POEMS 
 
 WHEN WILL THE SOLDIERS STRIKE ? 
 
 There's be no war when men won't fight. 
 
 When will the soldiers strike? 
 If rulers fuss and disagree, and cannot 
 
 see the right, 
 And set they are on forcing men to see 
 
 that black is white; 
 Why don't we let them fight it out? 
 Let them go to it bout for bout, 
 And fight and slay and curse and shout. 
 
 When will the soldiers strike? 
 
 There'll be no war when men won't fight. 
 
 When will the soldiers strike? 
 They have their homes and families 
 
 which are their soul's delight, 
 Their children there and home so sweet 
 
 and everything so bright; 
 There's May to meet you with a coo, 
 And say "Da-da" and "Is dat oo?" 
 A wife to greet and fond adieu. 
 
 When will the soldiers strike?
 
 WHEN WILL THE SOLDIERS STRIKE? 69 
 
 There'll be no war when men won't fight. 
 
 When will the soldiers strike? 
 If rulers fuss and disagree, and cannot 
 
 see the right, 
 And set they are on forcing men to see 
 
 that black is white, 
 
 Why don't we let THEM fight it out? 
 Let them go to it, bout for bout, 
 And fight and slay and curse and shout. 
 When will the soldiers strike?
 
 70 PEACE POEMS 
 
 TO CANADA 
 
 Celebrating the one hundred years of peace 
 between England and the United States. 
 
 In time of peace, prepare for peace, 
 
 Eliminate all war; 
 For if on peace we have a lease, 
 
 We need but courts and bar. 
 
 Our Uncle Sam, in time of peace, 
 
 And Canada so fair 
 Made peace the slogan (with what ease!), 
 
 A hundred years so rare. 
 
 What we have done to keep the peace, 
 
 All nations too can do! 
 Now all the world can make war cease 
 
 As Uncle Sam and you. 
 
 O may the world then promenade 
 
 In such a life long lease! 
 Long may our sister Canada 
 
 And Uncle Sam have peace!
 
 THE WAR LORDS' JUDGMENT 
 
 Oh, the woeful, stinging memory when they go to the 
 
 judgment seat! 
 All the cries and all the misery, all the groans and tears 
 
 to meet! 
 
 Anguish of a hell-cursed earth, with its fright and with 
 
 its care, 
 Coming to their ears at judgment God! it's more than 
 
 they can bear! 
 
 See a trillion eyes of murder, see the bleeding, mangled 
 
 feet! 
 With their fierce, condemning anguish, as they near the 
 
 Judgment Seat! 
 
 See the clutching, skinny fingers, pointing in a sea of 
 
 scorn, 
 Fingers of a billion sufferers pointing on that judment 
 
 morn! 
 
 Oh the horrors of the war lord, when he goes to the 
 
 Judgment Bar! 
 All the cries of base infernos ringing forth, both near 
 
 and far 
 
 Will be tame to bellowing misery, from the throats of 
 
 trillions dead: 
 "Curses on thee, misery maker, you who have a heart 
 
 of lead." 
 
 Cryings, damnings, cursings, screechings, seething, boil 
 ing, hissing hell, 
 
 Will resound to meet the war lords, at the toll of the 
 Judgment Bell.
 
 72 PEACE POEMS 
 
 DEPARTING GLORY 
 
 "The glory of war is gone; the war has no 
 defenders." David Starr Jordan. 
 
 Yes, war has no defenders, 
 
 The glory of war is gone; 
 Let's deal with one another 
 
 Without the war-knell's gong. 
 
 The bugle's screech and martial air, 
 Brass buttons and marching tread, 
 
 Epaulets and fancy braid- 
 Let's think of these as dead. 
 
 Brute force is cruel it's hellish 
 
 And so is soldiers' tread; 
 Likewise the camps and warship 
 
 Let's think of these as dead. 
 
 The honor won by killing men 
 Is false let that be said 
 
 And emphasize man's service now, 
 And think of war as dead. 
 
 For life is worth far more than hate; 
 
 " Glory" that conies with lead 
 Is far too costly in these days 
 
 Let's think of war as dead. 
 
 Yea, war has no defenders, 
 The "glory" of war is past; 
 
 This be our everlasting song, 
 While man and earth shall last.
 
 PEACE POEMS 73 
 
 WOMEN ON THE WARPATH 
 
 The women have formed a "Peace Party 1 ' with 
 which to protest against war. News item. 
 
 Clar th' thrack ther' ye wahr lards and 
 rhulers ; 
 
 The wimen hav' entered the fray; 
 They now hav' th' "Wimen's Pace Party"; 
 
 To th' waryers and lards, it's away! 
 
 The wimen hav' drawn a petishon, 
 An' emfattically state an' dayclar: 
 
 They are shtandin' f r pace an' f'r justice, 
 Without wahr craze an' its scar'r. 
 
 So hike r-right alowng ye wahr lards 
 An' singers iv wahrs, gr-rat an' sthrong; 
 
 Th' wimen hav taken th' cudg-gel 
 To pace fully sittle awl wrong. 
 
 When she takes holt iv the wahr handle, 
 An' swings an' dayclars up an' down 
 
 That wahr is a rellick iv past ages, 
 Ye'd betther go back an' sit down. 
 
 F'r she is th' sthronger, is wimen; 
 
 On wahr she's bin layin' low, 
 She's now come to her own, an' ye bit ye 
 
 Th' wahr an' its hell will soon go.
 
 74 
 
 So throt r-right alowng, Mishter wahr lard, 
 Say good by' if ye think he hav' time; 
 
 Do not linger an' dally too lowng sir 
 F'r she's apt to kick yer're behind. 
 
 Go back me lard, and sit down sir, 
 
 Sit down so hard an' so fast 
 That ye'll not come to life agin sir 
 
 She's got ye on th' run sir, at last. 
 
 O, Hiven! on wahr lards hav' mersay, 
 An' angils protect an' give help! 
 
 It's afther th' wahr divils she's goin' 
 
 An' whin SHE comes back they'll be 
 scalpted. 
 
 We are all brothers why not 
 show it?
 
 75 
 
 HAS CHRISTIANITY FAILED? 
 
 You say Christianity has failed! 
 
 But friend, it has never been tried. 
 We have talked, and yea we have prayed, 
 
 But many's the time we have lied. 
 We have said we love as God loves 
 
 Our friends as well as our foes; 
 Like sinners in the time of Christ 
 
 He could scathe us too with his "woes". 
 
 We have claimed to be Christian and kind, 
 
 But in part, have we lived the truth; 
 Yes, only in part, O ye men, 
 
 Yea, rather like heathens, forsooth. 
 We say we are Christian, and then 
 
 We live without Christ; He is veiled; 
 So we fail in our acts and our deeds, 
 
 Then say 'tis Christ who has failed. 
 
 Why say Christianity has failed, 
 
 When it has never been tried? 
 Why call the Master a failure 
 
 When we've put His teachings aside? 
 When we live like unto Christ 
 
 Our religion is Christ and not creeds, 
 We shall see no failure like war 
 
 To blot the record of deeds.
 
 76 PEACE POEMS 
 
 'Tis the lack of Christ which has failed, 
 
 Not Christ of Calvary's cross; 
 'Tis the lack of Christian instruction 
 
 That records today our great loss. 
 'Tis not the Christ who has failed, 
 
 Nay, brother, not Christ and His way, 
 'Tis the spirit of mortals instead 
 
 Which has held mankind in its sway. 
 
 When Christ is lived thru and thru, 
 
 No war can our record disgrace, 
 For Christ is the one Prince of Peace, 
 
 He then will have the first place. 
 So let us not blame this loved One, 
 
 The Christ, who loves every land; 
 But rather, O brother, blame someone 
 
 Who mistaught this Lover of Man.
 
 77 
 
 MY PLEDGE 
 
 I here desire to give my pledge 
 To do my best for peace; 
 
 So help me, God, to do my part 
 To make all wars to cease.
 
 78 PEACE POEMS 
 
 BENEDICTION 
 
 O God of Heaven of man and beast 
 Teach me, O Lord, to see the Light, 
 
 And sound the knell from west to east 
 To have no war no sword or fight. 
 
 O God, should I not do my share 
 
 In this great day of sword and hate 
 
 To bring about a world wide peace 
 Then God forgive this sin so great.
 
 My Daughter, 
 My Little Maxine
 
 8i 
 
 MY DAUGHTER, MY LITTLE MAXINE 
 
 There are days that are dark and gloomy; 
 
 There are times when the sun is not seen; 
 But there's one who can always inspire me, 
 
 And that's my daughter, Maxine. 
 
 Should I think life's work is a failure 
 And results are not what I ween, 
 
 There conies to my rescue a smiler, 
 And that's my daughter, Maxine. 
 
 Have things gone wrong? Miscarried? 
 
 Are times out of joint? Not a beam 
 Of sunshine to light the dark roadway? 
 
 Then I hear my daughter, Maxine 
 
 Creep up to my chair O the darling! 
 And put her sweet face close to mine 
 
 And whisper, "Just never mind, papa, 
 You're the best; you're simply just fine." 
 
 If it's preacher, writer or father, 
 
 It's the same to my daughter so keen; 
 
 No troubles, no sorrows, nor worries 
 Shake the faith of daughter Maxine. 
 
 Do friends misunderstand and shun me? 
 
 Are critics severe and show spleen? 
 Do people misjudge and condemn me? 
 
 It matters not to Maxine.
 
 82 MY DAUGHTER, MY LITTLE MAXINE 
 
 She has faith and pride in her father; 
 
 She has love and caresses, all seen; 
 She has confidence strong as Gibraltar 
 
 My daughter, my little Maxine. 
 
 Though enemies strive to down me; 
 
 Though foes my character screen; 
 I know there's one believes in me 
 
 And that's my darling, Maxine.
 
 Inspirational 
 Poems
 
 THE SUCCESSFUL MAN 
 
 The successful man is always kicked, he's kicked all 
 over town; 
 
 No matter what his "line" may be, they'll kick him 
 all around. 
 
 The man who wins is always kicked, they kick him 
 black and blue; 
 
 He's thumped with "mud" and rotten egged, gets num 
 ber fourteen shoe. 
 
 Because he's always on the job; not lazy at his work, 
 Because he plods and plugs away, while other men 
 
 may shirk, 
 Because he puts more in his work and gets more in 
 
 return, 
 And stirs things up and gets things done, he's kicked 
 
 at every turn. 
 
 The men who set the world ahead, are kicked all over 
 
 town ; 
 
 They lift us to a higher plane but get kicked all around; 
 No matter, sir, what lives they save, no matter what 
 
 they give, 
 If they do more than other men, they're punctured like 
 
 a sieve.
 
 86 INSPIRA TIONA I POEMS 
 
 If you're not kicked, I wonder now if you have lost 
 
 your hope? 
 Do you play fair and do your best, or sulk and grunt 
 
 and mope? 
 If you're not kicked, you won't rise far; so man, get 
 
 in the game, 
 And let them kick you all around kick hard until 
 
 they're lame! 
 
 You do your work and play your game play fair and 
 
 hard all day; 
 And let the townsmen wag their tongues, the gossips 
 
 have their say, 
 And never mind their cutting ways, nor see that surly 
 
 frown ; 
 On the homestretch you'll beat' em all although you're 
 
 kicked around.
 
 87 
 THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE 
 
 There's no 9^k thing as failure 
 To him whonfchts when down ; 
 
 For just as light comes after night, 
 Success will failure crown. 
 
 There's no such thing as failure 
 To those who mean to stand. 9 
 
 Each failure hard he's turned the card 
 Success, and won the hand. 
 
 They only think it's failure, 
 
 And that's why they've not won; 
 
 If they'd think right, keep at the fight, 
 Success would surely come. 
 
 There's no such thing as failure; 
 
 Repeat this every day 
 "I'm bound to win, thru thick or thin, 
 
 Success is mine, I say." 
 
 There's no such thing as failure 
 
 Unless you want it so; 
 With steady nerve, you never swerve, 
 
 Success is sure, tho slow. 
 
 There's no such thing as failure! 
 
 Repeat, "I'm bound to win," 
 Do not complain ; affirm again, 
 
 "Success, doth now begin." 
 
 There's no such thing as failure! 
 
 Push on and make it flee. 
 God helps the man who says, "I can. 
 
 Success is meant for me."
 
 88 INSPIRA TIONAL POEMS 
 
 PLEASE DON'T STOP KICKIN' MY NAME AROUND 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 
 You mean by that to keep me down 
 
 The harder I'm kicked, the better I'll bound; 
 
 I'll always smile and never frown. 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 Every knock you give, your every sound 
 Makes me arise with greater bound; 
 Boosts me way up until I'm found. 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 It sends me up and not far down ; 
 Your every kick makes me rebound; 
 You boost me higher, round by round. 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 "Each knock's a boost" that's long been 
 
 found 
 
 So hammer away, altho you're bound 
 To kill me off I'm still around. 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around.
 
 Please Don't Stop Kickin' My Name Around 89 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 I'm higher today by knockers bound 
 To kill me off, but still I'm sound. 
 So knock and curse; defame and pound. 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around. 
 Call me a fool, blockhead or clown; 
 Pinhead or goose, base cur or hound; 
 Use vilest words that can be found. 
 Please don't stop kickin' my name around.
 
 90 INSPIRA TIONAL POEMS 
 
 DON'T LOSE YOUR GOAT 
 
 Jim Casey had two balls; two strikes; as he stood up to 
 
 bat. 
 "Ball three" was called; another came when, holy 
 
 smoke! what's that? 
 He soaked a ball clean over third, beyond the fence 
 
 and moat, 
 
 And scored a straight home run because he didn't lose 
 his goat. 
 
 "The fight is on," my youthful friend; the one who 
 
 wins the game 
 Is the chap you meet who has his nerve and ever is 
 
 the same. 
 You'll get nick-named; called everything from "kid" 
 
 to that "old soak," 
 But never mind, just plug along and do not lose your 
 
 goat. 
 
 You'll make mistakes a-plenty, boy, but never you 
 
 mind that 
 So long as you don't lose your grip, you're bound to 
 
 win, by cat! 
 O you can lose most anything, from house and lot to 
 
 boat, 
 So long as you don't lose your nerve or let 'em get your 
 
 goat.
 
 DON'T LOSE YOUR GO A T 91 
 
 So many men would seek your fall from lies to drinking 
 
 beer; 
 But pay no heed, all that you need is "grip and 
 
 persevere!" 
 Give up you bed; drink gall and lead; and let 'em take 
 
 your coat; 
 If you're to win, for heaven's sake don't let 'em get 
 
 your goat. 
 
 There's rich and poor; there's strong and great; there 
 
 are all kinds of men 
 Who'll lay their traps and try to see you "beat to first," 
 
 but then 
 So long as you have got your nerve; yes, put your 
 
 clothes in "soak" 
 Fact, you can part with anything if they don't get 
 
 your goat. 
 
 I often make mistakes can you 
 say as much?
 
 9 2 INSPIRA TIONAL POEMS 
 
 I WILL 
 
 I will, I can, I will! 
 
 Says he who means to win. 
 
 For there's no power this side of death 
 
 Can shut and keep him in. 
 
 I will, I can, I will! 
 
 Is the slogan that never fails. 
 
 And there's no power on land or sea 
 
 To keep down that man's sails. 
 
 I will, I can, I will! 
 Has turned the world around 
 And saved a people many times 
 When others thought them, down. 
 
 I will, I can, I will! 
 
 Obstacles I'll defy! 
 
 For there's no power can beat a man 
 
 Who never will say, "die."
 
 93 
 
 NEVER MIND THE KNOCKER 
 
 " 'Twas a hard knock, I got today, 
 
 It nearly laid me low, 
 I'll not regain the blow for aye, 
 
 Why is the world made so?" 
 
 Just wait a little, brother man, 
 
 And see what end this blow 
 Will have in store for you. My land! 
 
 Some things come very slow. 
 
 In twenty years from this sore whack 
 You'll smile, though now you're barred; 
 
 You'll see your "bread" is coming back; 
 You'll be on top, though scarred. 
 
 These whacks must come to try your vim, 
 
 To exercise your grit, 
 To teach that all who live to win, 
 
 Must not "give up the ship." 
 
 So take your whacks with all good grace, 
 
 And never frown or kick; 
 Just let the world see your stern face 
 
 That will not wince one whit. 
 
 The world can't knock you all around, 
 
 And keep it up for aye, 
 For if you plug and work and pound 
 
 The knocks will die away.
 
 94 1NSP1RA TIONA I POEMS 
 
 But if they don't, they won't hurt you, 
 
 And both are just the same, 
 So work away, ne'er say adieu ; 
 
 Just play your fighting game. 
 
 Your enemies, and knockers, too, 
 
 Admire a man with pluck; 
 So never mind, though black and blue, 
 
 You'll win in spite of "luck." 
 
 Though black and blue from knockers, Sam, 
 
 You won't feel hurt one bit 
 If you keep on and be the man 
 
 Who won't stay down, though hit.
 
 95 
 
 NEVER SAY DIE 
 
 Have you done all you could and been much criticized? 
 
 Have you played the world fair and then lost? 
 Have you worked like a trooper and seemed hypnotized 
 
 So that nothing turned out but the cost 
 
 And that cost charged to you when you'd nothing to 
 pay? 
 
 Have you ever endured such a plight? 
 Were you broke and not able to turn any way? 
 
 Have you wanted to give up the fight? 
 
 Have you done all you could? Been cuffed all about? 
 
 Have you played like a man and gone down? 
 Have you made your last effort and sparred your last 
 bout? 
 
 Have you felt like not "sticking around?" 
 
 Have you failed once or often; been called a poor 
 fool? 
 
 Have you tried to keep straight and look game? 
 Have you said, " 'Tis the end, Life's too hard a school, 
 
 I will quit, for success never came"?
 
 96 INSPIRA TIONA I POEMS 
 
 Then take heart, brother mine, I have felt this queer 
 pain; 
 
 I have failed seen everything gone; 
 I have often said, "Nay, I will not try again" 
 
 That's just the safe time to hang on! 
 
 For a short way ahead, when you've failed many 
 times; 
 
 There's success just awaiting for you; 
 If you never give up, hang tight to the lines, 
 
 Then success, not defeat is your due. 
 
 O pray, never say "die," make an effort once more! 
 
 Never say that your time is past due; 
 Just you try again, with that spirit of yore, 
 
 For success is a-coming to you!
 
 97 
 LIFE'S GETHSEMANE 
 
 Each life hath it's Gethsemane! 
 
 No doubt 'tis better so, 
 Tho when our souls sweat drops of blood, 
 
 We'd rather pray, "O no." 
 
 But when this dark Gethsemane 
 
 And others, have been won, 
 We'll reach the Master's attitude: 
 
 "Not mine but Thine be done." 
 
 Be strong in your Gethsemane; 
 
 Be like our Lord of old; 
 For drops of blood may mean today 
 
 Your strength increased ten fold. 
 
 For when each dark Gethsemane 
 
 Has past long since away; 
 We see that it was better far, 
 
 To sweat as Christ, that day. 
 
 Each life hath its Gethsemane 
 
 If not at first, at last; 
 So cultivate your soul's repose; 
 
 You're stronger when it's past. 
 
 So God, when our Gethsemane 
 
 Is making us sweat blood, 
 Give us the spirit the Master had 
 
 To endure the trouble's flood!
 
 98 INSPIRA TIONA L POEMS 
 
 THE MOTHER HEART 
 
 A woman who raises children 
 Children who're not her own 
 
 Is one of God's great workers. 
 Praise her from pillar to dome ! 
 
 A woman who shelters children 
 
 Some without legal name 
 Is the noblest of Christ's workers. 
 
 Lift us to a higher plane! 
 
 God send thy sweet benediction 
 On those who do their part 
 
 In caring for outcast children. 
 
 Strengthen such courage and heart! 
 
 May we learn this from such courage 
 Though hard may be the way 
 
 Let us see and do our duty, 
 
 No matter what others may say.
 
 99 
 
 YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN 
 
 You cannot keep a good man down, 
 
 He'll rise in spite of all; 
 He may be beaten into pulp 
 
 He'll rise from every fall. 
 
 A good strong man with pluck and grit 
 Each time on top will come, 
 
 Tho gods and man contrive to beat 
 And keep him out of plumb. 
 
 You may as well stem back the tide, 
 And make the moon stand still 
 
 As try to keep a good man down 
 A man with force and will.
 
 i oo INSPIRA TIONA I POEMS 
 
 THE MAN WHO COMES BACK 
 
 Oh, don't be a quitter, we disdain such a man, 
 Though we have been guilty ourselves; 
 
 We've oft turned our backs from life's sordid whacks 
 Let the past be put on the shelves. 
 
 Yes, we have been quitters for many a day; 
 
 Ashamed, sneaked back to the ranks; 
 We quit and returned all bridges we burned; 
 
 And received men's comments and thanks. 
 
 Oh, don't be a quitter who never comes back; 
 
 Tho defeated and beaten today, 
 Don't throw up the sponge; just you again lunge 
 
 Head- foremost to the thick of the fray. 
 
 If you are a quitter the one who comes back 
 
 You're in good company; 
 For many a man in this glorious land 
 
 Has quit, yet claims victory. 
 
 No longer a quitter when you try, try again 
 
 You stop and then go ahead; 
 So take heart again; our God will sure send 
 
 Success before you are dead.
 
 101 
 
 THE WAY TO WIN 
 
 When your hat is "in the ring," 
 
 Don't give up the fight. 
 Jump right in. begin to sing, 
 
 Sing with all your might. 
 Don't get sour, let each hour 
 
 See you work and fight. 
 You can't sing? Do the next thing, 
 
 Smile, from left to right. 
 Smile and fight, fight and sing; 
 
 Fight with all your might. 
 When your hat is in the ring, 
 
 Don't give up the fight. 
 
 Are you beat? That's no defeat! 
 
 Don't give up the fight. 
 "Down and out?" O pshaw! Just shout; 
 
 On your job, then light. 
 Pound and thump; yes, dig and jump, 
 
 Don't give up the fight. 
 No defeat! You've never beat 
 
 When you're in the right. 
 Don't you stop, your vim don't drop, 
 
 Plug with all your might. 
 Sour awhile? Then start to smile, 
 
 Jump right in, begin to sing. 
 Smile keep up the fight.
 
 1 02 INSPIRA TIONA L POEMS 
 
 If your hat's not in the ring, 
 
 Throw it there and fight. 
 Some have won, but when begun 
 
 They were in a plight. 
 Buckle in, keep up your grin, 
 
 Make your troubles hike. 
 Smile and grin, for grit and vim 
 
 Win in any fight. 
 Don't you quit, and don't you sit 
 
 Till all are on the flight. 
 Throw you hat into the ring, 
 
 Throw it there and fight. 
 
 Grip your nerve, never swerve, 
 
 When you're in the fight. 
 Grit your teeth, for underneath 
 
 Gold is out of sight 
 Gold and fame in this big game. 
 
 Just keep up the fight. 
 Never mind if man's unkind, 
 
 You'll get out all right. 
 Failed today? That's nothing, say 
 
 Just keep up the fight 
 You will see your failures flee 
 
 Flee clear out of sight. 
 Keep your hat there in the ring! 
 
 Don't give up the fight! 
 
 Difficulties, troubles and sorrows make 
 weak men cringe; but brave men strong.
 
 103 
 
 WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY" 
 
 "Where there's a will, there is a way!" 
 
 Never give up the ship; 
 There's land ahead and "ivory bed" 
 
 To each stiff upper lip. 
 
 You may not see which way to turn, 
 
 But still there is a way. 
 Where's there's a will keep at it still 
 
 You'll reap success some day. 
 
 If you can't see, still there's a way; 
 
 A way with every will; 
 You may not know which way to go, 
 
 But you will climb the hill. 
 
 Don't waver, man, there is a way 
 
 If you but have the will; 
 So plug along, with heart and song, 
 
 Success comes but by drill.
 
 1 04 INSPIRA TIONA L POEMS 
 
 THE MAN WHO'S AFRAID OF THE CARS 
 
 Have you met such a man, who's "afraid of 
 the cars?" 
 
 Afraid of his shadow and men? 
 
 He has no back-bone and only one tone 
 "I'm afraid, I'm afraid of the cars." 
 
 There's no room on this earth, there's no 
 
 room up on Mars, 
 
 For the man who's afraid of life's game; 
 No room anywhere in hallway or stair 
 For the man who's "afraid of the cars." 
 
 God never made man to be afraid of the cars! 
 
 That making's ours there's no doubting 
 that 
 
 So determine to stand on sea or on land 
 Like a man not "afraid of the cars." 
 
 The world it will laud you, though you're cov 
 ered with scars 
 
 From the battle of life, when you win; 
 
 So tackle the game, every day be the same 
 And don't be "afraid of the cars." 
 
 So it's right about face! Not afraid of the 
 
 cars ! 
 
 Brace up, meet the world like a man. 
 Things are coming your way, stay so every 
 
 day, 
 When a man's not "afraid of the cars."
 
 HANDICAPPED FOR LIFE 
 
 I may have many handicaps; 
 
 111 health, poor eyes and lame; 
 Though I have drawn a card that's 
 marked, 
 
 I never will complain. 
 
 I may think God's mistreated me, 
 But won't think so for long; 
 
 Though other men have better leads, 
 I'll keep chuck full of song. 
 
 While others droop and give it up 
 
 And say "I never can ! " 
 Though I'm bound down at every turn 
 
 I'll play the game a man. 
 
 And while I work against all odds, 
 From me there'll be no whine; 
 
 I'll get my share of fun from work; 
 Life's nectar, all is mine.
 
 Social Poems 
 and Others
 
 SOCIAL POEMS log 
 
 "She lives on six dollars a week! " 
 
 She buys her own food, her clothes, and pays rent. 
 She pays car fare, laundry no meat 
 
 When pay day comes around, for herself not a cent! 
 For she lives on six dollars a week. 
 
 "She lives on six dollars a week!" 
 
 One dollar for clothes and two for room rent, 
 (A "hole in the wall" for a room, how sleek (?)) 
 
 When pay day comes round for herself not a cent! 
 For she lives on six dollars a week. 
 
 "She lives on six dollars a week! " 
 
 Thirty cents for car fare; her back is 'most bent 
 Walking to work and standing till weak. 
 
 When pay day comes round for herself not a cent! 
 For she lives on six dollars a week. 
 
 "She lives on six dollars a week!" 
 
 So hungry and cold, so friendless and lone ! 
 
 She gets her own breakfast the coffee 's so cheap 
 You never can guess in wealth's happy zone 
 
 The horror! Six dollars a week! 
 
 "She lives on six dollars a week!" 
 
 A sandwich for lunch, and supper she eats 
 In a down-town joint where everything's cheap, 
 
 Tablecloths dirty, grease on the seats 
 For she lives on six dollars a week.
 
 no SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 "She lives on six dollars a week!" 
 
 So slick sporting men those damnable curs 
 Offer her ease and her ruin they seek 
 
 'Till weak and discouraged (joy is not hers) 
 She yields on six dollars a week. 
 
 She lived on six dollars a week. 
 
 Now the tables have turned, but soon O God! 
 She is weary, heartbroken, sad and so weak 
 
 In anguish she prays to be under the sod! 
 And forget her six dollars a week. 
 
 Does anyone wonder the reason why 
 
 She lost in the struggle tired and so weak! 
 
 Who can condemn her? What heart would not sigh 
 To think of the fight, to live and keep meek 
 
 On only six dollars a week? 
 
 Love in the heart and on the tongue 
 driveth away Satan also enemies, which 
 
 is the same
 
 Ill 
 WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE 
 
 BEATEN BUT NOT DEFEATED 
 
 "The house of Representatives tonight by a vote 
 of 204 to 174 refused to submit to the states the 
 amendment to the federal constitution to enfran 
 chise women." News item, January 12th, 1915. 
 
 Have you heard all about it? Sh' do not 
 shout it; though soon 'twill cover creation. 
 The U. S. lawmakers put women below 
 bakers, and it's up to the "states" not the 
 nation to let women vote. They rank with 
 the goat or nigger or immigrant lowly but 
 that does not say, they will stop from today 
 and not push their fight, which is holy. 
 Though turned down today, tomorrow the 
 same, yet they will keep up their pace, till 
 all creation and every bold nation will see 
 they are part of the race of men who're not 
 cowards though Davids and Howards put 
 blocks all around in their way. Though de 
 feated today, still they will "make hay", 
 though men do call "Keep still!" for now to 
 the world their flag is unfurled, and they mean 
 to win out through their will. They'll not 
 quit the ring tho some shout and sing, "She's 
 only a woman, that's all." They're made of 
 the stuff that takes no rebuff! They'll win! 
 They've sent out the call! Yes, Uncle Sam's
 
 ii2 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 men some bullies and Ben think women 
 not worthy the right, but you can just bet, 
 there are plenty of men yet, who will help 
 the women to fight. The decision is in 
 "they're worth not a pin" in the way that 
 man plays the game. But that's no criterion, 
 they'll fight the whole year in, and bring up 
 the issue again. Who think they will pine, 
 sit down and then whine, and say things ugly 
 and hard 'bout "lords of creation," and their 
 situation don't understand women, my pard. 
 So lawmaker-men, who've turned them down 
 when they asked for their share in the vote, 
 just retain your big laughter, for quite a while 
 after, you'll see them conquer through hope. 
 Through hope and good cheer without any fear 
 of the outcome to them in the end. They'll 
 be equal to you and your sons, too to 
 Freddie to Sammie and Ben. You can't keep 
 'em down, you and your frown. If you think 
 so you've not "hit it"; or you do not know the 
 women whose goal is the ballot and all that 
 goes with it. Though defeated once more 
 (you can't make 'em sore); the women all 
 over the land will write and will talk, will ride 
 and will walk, and last will win Uncle Sam. 
 They're bound to be free, the women you see, 
 there's no getting round all of that, for they're 
 right in the game and to keep up the same, 
 they will stay where they've thrown down the 
 hat. And that is the ring, to shout and to 
 sing for ballot and suffrage and votes; 
 they'll continue to do till they see the 
 thing through and they're counted worth
 
 WOMEN'S SUFFRA GE 113 
 
 more than the goats. So don't you be smart 
 and think you have art more noble and 
 greater than they. As you fought to win, 
 through thick and through thin, they'll match 
 your deuce with a trey. You fought for your 
 rights, through dark stormy nights, till king 
 doms gave you freeman's votes; now they'll 
 do the same, beat you at your game, for 
 they'll not pine or mope. They'll keep up 
 their vim; with smiling they'll win; and you 
 will be proud of 'em more and ashamed 
 after while that you're beat by their smile, 
 and didn't 'franchise 'em before.
 
 ii4 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 --- % 
 
 GOSSIP 
 
 " 'They say/ he kissed Matilda as they walked along 
 
 the way." 
 But Matilda was in Oshkosh and he at Sheepshead 
 
 Bay, 
 When they said, he kissed Matilda as they walked along 
 
 the way. 
 
 " 'They say,' that Jones has left her, has left and mean 
 
 to stay." 
 
 But Jones was at a funeral as mourner met delay, 
 When they said, that Jones had left her and had left 
 
 his wife to stay. 
 
 " 'They say/ Susanna's jilted and has thrown her life 
 
 away." 
 Susanna was in bathing; tried her brand new suit that 
 
 day 
 They said, she was a suicide had thrown her life away. 
 
 " 'They say/ he is a grafter in politics he'll stay" 
 Our Senator was walloped, beaten thru "schedule K" 
 Because he would not bow to Baal and take their 
 "dough" that day. 
 
 " 'They say/ Rebecca hit him 'threw a rolling pin'," 
 
 some say. 
 He was putting up a stove pipe which fell and came 
 
 his way 
 When they said his wife had hit him with a brick or 
 
 club that day.
 
 GOSSIP 115 
 
 " 'They say,' the parson's son's a crook with a wad 
 
 he walked away." 
 But he had been away to school, had honors from Fall 
 
 to May 
 A scholarship he'd won 'stead of a "stolen purse" that 
 
 day. 
 
 " 'They say,' Smith's son's in trouble in the work 
 
 house he must stay," 
 
 That very son's in business, owns part of all Broadway 
 And passes the collection plate in church each bright 
 
 Sunday. 
 
 " 'They say,' she is to be a mother that's why she 
 went away." 
 
 She went to have a tooth "pulled out" upon that fate 
 ful day. 
 
 She then came back and married well; but the gossips 
 had their say. 
 
 O, meet me in the open, do not fight me with "they 
 
 say." 
 Just call me "thief", "sandbagger", "liar", all to ME, 
 
 today. 
 But do not fight with gossip with that dastardly, 
 
 "They say."
 
 n6 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 BABIES AND HOGS 
 
 "Representative of would have the 
 
 automobile driver who runs over a farmer's hog 
 or chicken or dog-, stop, notify the owner, make 
 a reasonable effort to agree upon a settlement. 
 ***Babies are not mentioned." News item 
 
 A chauffeur kills a hog, sir, and stops to explain, 
 
 He weeps and he is sorry; he then takes out his wad, 
 And pays for damages that he's wrought in sunshine or 
 
 in rain 
 
 He pays if he has killed a goose or damaged "mister 
 hog." 
 
 But should it be a baby small an act inhuman quite 
 He turns on the "gas" again and hikes like the 
 "devil". 
 
 A hog is worth a wad of money a baby not a mite 
 We care for little piggie so babe's not on his level. 
 
 If a reckless chauffeur driving fast should hit a dog's 
 
 left ear, 
 He carefully stops right there and then, and takes out 
 
 his fat wad 
 And asks, "O pray how much dear sir? Do you never 
 
 fear- 
 
 (But not if it's a baby, see?) "for chicken or for 
 hog."
 
 BABIES AND HOGS 1 1 7 
 
 Much cash we raise for chickens, sir, for geese, also for 
 
 hogs; 
 We feed 'em well and house 'em too and pay if they 
 
 are killed; 
 But babies of the common man are treated just like 
 
 dogs, 
 
 (Not only killed), they work all day with stomachs 
 hardly filled. 
 
 Be careful then of pigs and chicks, of doggies and of 
 
 geese; 
 Protect them well and watch them too, and pay if 
 
 they are dead; 
 We cut the wage of children poor; in other ways we 
 
 fleece, 
 
 Abuse them sore, and starve them too, and nothing 
 e'er is said. 
 
 Our cash we spend for better hogs, for better stock each 
 
 year; 
 
 Complain and snarl when we are asked to aid a help 
 less child; 
 
 We legislate for damage done to hog or cow or deer, 
 But clutch at our big, fat purse strings more cares 
 on children pile. 
 
 If you are looking for an angel, don't 
 come my way how about yourself?
 
 n8 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 NO BABIES WANTED IN THIS FLAT 
 
 A flat for rent; the best that is; 
 
 Steam heated, light and all of that, 
 We need your money in our biz 
 
 No babies wanted in this flat. 
 
 "A flat for rent on Nabob street, 
 Not a cock roach, a mouse or rat, 
 
 This one indeed is very neat 
 No babies wanted in this flat. 
 
 "Our flat has just been renovated 
 Outside and in, from post to slat, 
 
 'Tis very pleasantly located 
 No babies wanted in this flat. 
 
 Our tenants wear the latest style, 
 
 In sock and shirt, in waist and hat; 
 
 Your living here is worth your while 
 No babies wanted in this flat. 
 
 "Come noted people, one and all, 
 Small peuple, big or lean or fat, 
 
 Our rooms are airy spacious hall 
 No babies wanted in this flat. 
 
 "The great and wise, the rich and smart, 
 Live here with parrot, dog or cat. 
 
 We need one more what is your art? 
 No babies wanted in this flat."
 
 SOCIAL POEMS 119 
 
 KING ALCOHOL BOWS TO SUFFRAGETTES 
 
 "Ho! I'm king of kings, aho! 
 
 I torture kings; I ruin and kill, 
 For I'm the great king still in tow, 
 
 Your homes with frightful horrors fill. 
 
 "Ho! I'm the king of kings, aho! 
 
 I laugh at widows, scorn the child 
 Whose father spends his hard earned 
 'dough' 
 
 Across my bar 'till his brain is wild. 
 
 "Ho! I'm the king of kings, aho! 
 
 I fill my pockets while children cry; 
 I dance and sing while the funeral slow 
 
 Goes by my door, for what care I 
 
 "If drunkards die and children moan? 
 
 I've made my money, my purse is fat. 
 For I am king o'er that ruined home 
 
 But what care I for all of that? 
 
 "Ho! I'm the king of kings, aho! 
 
 Send men to hell; and women deprave; 
 Some rush to death, while some go slow, 
 
 And one by one, fill a drunkards 's 
 grave.
 
 120 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 "That's 'nix' to me, I'm king, aho! 
 
 I murder men and children slay, 
 The law provides for me, heigho! 
 
 I gloat o'er men, to slay and flay. 
 
 "But then I'll not be king, O no! 
 
 If women perchance the suffrage get; 
 So hell! I'll spend my cash to sow 
 
 Lies; and traps and snares I'll set 
 
 "So folks will keep me king, aho! 
 
 So I can revel in man's despair. 
 I dance with glee, aha! heigho! . 
 
 When moans of sufferers fill the air. 
 
 "I'm spending cash as king, aho! 
 
 I'm buying pulpit, brains and press 
 To keep the 'skirts' from votes, heigho! 
 
 I dread their power I do confess. 
 
 "While women are manacled, aho, 
 And they do not the ballot hold. 
 
 I'll still be king of kings, by Joe! 
 And spread dire hell from pole to pole. 
 
 "So I'll be king of kings, aho! 
 
 Sow hell and death and drunks pell 
 
 mell, 
 Till women get the vote, heigho ! 
 
 And I'm debarred my wares to sell.
 
 "Till then I'm king of kings, aho! 
 
 So 'ischkabibble' 'King Alcohol !'- 
 'Till women vote and strike the blow 
 
 That makes my kingdom take its fall. 
 
 "But as it is, I'm king aho! 
 
 'But I should worry', man's a fool 
 Keeps the ballot from women heigho! 
 
 And lets King Alcohol have rule. 
 
 "I dance! I sing! I smirk! aho! 
 
 The law, the cops, they're all my own, 
 While women are barred from votes, 
 
 heigho ! 
 
 And men do reap what they have 
 sown."
 
 122 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 GOOD ROADS 
 
 To E. C. Issenhuth Father of the Good Roads 
 Movement, in South Dakota. 
 
 We were rolling along, our mouths filled with 
 song, 
 
 We lovers, down Spink county road; 
 When the first thing we knew (O save us, yes 
 do!) 
 
 We spilt we and our load! 
 We knew the poor roads had spoiled many loads, 
 
 But we didn't expect it again. 
 Alas and forsooth! heeded not Issenhuth 
 
 Issenhuth and his theme of "Good Roads." 
 
 The .next year while taking his Good Roads for 
 saking 
 
 Wheat to market to get me some cash, 
 I got half-way there, when, lo what a scare! 
 
 A creak, a chuck and a smash; 
 And I was detained (I and my grain) 
 
 In a rut stuck deep, and bad. 
 I thought of E. C., who had talked much to me 
 
 Of Good Roads. I thought he was mad. 
 
 I put ten dollars down to get pulled to town 
 
 And my wagon fixed up so 'twould run; 
 And glad, I repeat, to get off so cheap, 
 
 When I think of the damages done. 
 Had I given five dollars with horses and collars 
 
 To fix that road, don't you see, 
 Five dollars ahead I'd be, Uncle Ned, 
 
 And encouraged Good Roads and E. C.
 
 GOOD ROADS 123 
 
 I was starting to haul some hay this last fall, 
 
 (Each fall, I market some hay) 
 When I struck a mudhole alone not a soul 
 
 And there I remained for the day. 
 I thought of more loads and I thought of Good 
 Roads, 
 
 Of Issenhuth too you bet! 
 I first fought him hard, but now he's my pard. 
 
 On Good Roads my mind is now set. 
 
 It's strange is it not you haven't forgot 
 
 How we fight these new f angled things? 
 How we fight the reformer tradesman and 
 farmer 
 
 And neglect the wisdom he brings? 
 But our Issenhuth with the spirit of youth, 
 
 Will win. Then haul big loads! 
 And our thrifty young state will often relate, 
 
 The wisdom of E. C. and Good Roads. 
 
 My name may be "Mud", but, "old 
 man," it's clean.
 
 i2 4 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 ^ 
 
 WILSON'S WATCHFUL WAITING 
 
 "To hell with Mex let's do 'em up; 
 
 A few Americans have been slain; 
 We won't down there leave one grease spot 
 
 When Uncle Samuel takes the rein. 
 Strike up the band ; we want to fight ! 
 
 We'll clean that 'greaser' bunch down 
 
 there!" 
 Thus urged the people "Come, hurry up! " 
 
 But President Wilson was in the chair. 
 
 "This watchful waiting gives us a pain, 
 
 They've insulted us too much too much; 
 We'll wipe them off the face of earth, 
 
 For now they've raised 'our Dutch our 
 
 Dutch'; 
 That 'Dutch' is up, now act like men ! 
 
 Why say, that little bunch down there 
 'Gainst Uncle Sam won't last a month !"- 
 
 But President Wilson was in the chair. 
 
 "What ails the president anyway? 
 
 A few 'cow punchers' can do them up, 
 But there sits Woodrow like a chump! 
 
 Why don't he lick that Mexican pup? 
 We're tired of waiting; we want to fight! 
 
 They can't pull out your Uncle's hair 
 Without being licked into a pulp! 
 
 But President Wilson was in the chair.
 
 WILSON'S WATCHFUL WAITING 125 
 
 He held the reins till steam blew off ., 
 
 And people's nerves and minds were quiet, 
 And tho bombarded on every side 
 
 A few enough with him stood by it. 
 We'll call him wonderful and great; 
 
 All time will praise his watchful care; 
 We'll thank our "stars" and Bryan too 
 
 That President Wilson was in the chair. 
 
 Again we see there's trouble brewing 
 
 With warring nations across the sea, 
 And now we fuss, and fret, and fume, 
 
 Discuss the end at lunch and tea. 
 W T hy get worked up, why all this "sweat," 
 
 Why shout, stampede at every scare? 
 Just keep your seat and hold your nerve, 
 
 For President Wilson is in the chair. 
 
 Stand by the president, countrymen, 
 
 And bury political hate and gibes, 
 Encourage him who bears the load 
 
 To save so many, many lives. 
 We're writing history anew, 
 
 We'll add a page that's new and rare, 
 He'll pull us thru without the sword 
 
 It's President Wilson who's in the chair. 
 
 ^/w 
 
 ' I
 
 126 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 ABERDEEN 
 
 Aberdeen is the city of homes. Aberdeen, S. D. 
 
 Sweet City of Homes, Aberdeen! 
 
 Aberdeen, the loved of the west, 
 Where there is a chance for the man who is 
 keen 
 
 To seek and make for the best. 
 
 Sweet City of Homes, Aberdeen! 
 
 Where u man is a man for 'a that," 
 Where all of the lowly or great, I ween, 
 
 Can own their own homes or a flat. 
 
 Sweet City of Homes, Aberdeen ! 
 
 The pride of the "Sunshine State,' 
 Where wheat and where corn and commerce 
 
 are seen 
 Making her rich it's the fate 
 
 Of sweet City of Homes, Aberdeen, 
 
 For placed where you are with your fields, 
 
 With workers and boosters, means wealth 
 
 ever green. 
 'Tis decreed by the gods and their seals. 
 
 Sweet City of Homes, Aberdeen, 
 In you our hearts swell with pride, 
 
 If its wealth, commerce or western scene, 
 You're second to none "our bride." 
 
 I went fishing one day and 
 caught well, let's forget it.
 
 SOCIAL POEMS 127 
 
 OUR BOY GOES ON AHEAD 
 
 A Poem of Condolence 
 
 We'll never see his face again, 
 But his spirit's with us still 
 
 And will be to the end of life 
 A law by God's own will. 
 
 How could we part with one so dear? 
 
 Oh! that would strike us dumb 
 But for our hope of life beyond, 
 
 And hearing Him say, "Come." 
 
 We could not rest at ease behind; 
 
 We could not think of life 
 As anything but misery 
 
 With God we'll win the strife! 
 
 And yet we have much comfort still 
 
 To ponder 'bout our boy, 
 Who lived with us for twenty years; 
 
 Our pride, our hope, our joy ! 
 
 No trouble did he ever give; 
 
 No watchful nights we had; 
 No wondering if he evil sought; 
 
 No time through him was sad.
 
 128 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 What comfort then we have, alas! 
 
 Though in our sorrow bent; 
 What comfort through our tears we have 
 
 For all the joy he lent. 
 
 He'll not endure what here we do; 
 
 He's through with earthly pain, 
 And waits with joy and happiness 
 
 Till we shall meet again. 
 
 Though dark the way and rough the road, 
 
 We hope in God of love 
 That though today, Gethsemane 
 
 We'll meet our boy above. 
 
 "Like produces like"; good deeds 
 beget good deeds; friendship stimu 
 lates friends; and love, love. Get 
 in the swim.
 
 SOCIAL POEMS 129 
 
 CAPITAL PUNISHMENT 
 
 The South Dakota senate, led by Senator Plin 
 Beebe, votes to abolish hanging. News item, 
 January 20th, 1915. 
 
 Of all accepted, dark and bloody crimes 
 
 That man still keeps on the book of the law 
 
 Is capital punishment, one often finds 
 Such glaring, absurd, outrageous flaw! 
 
 A man in hot passion takes another man's life, 
 The law in its session, with time and in "state", 
 
 Does the very same crime of the gun or the knife, 
 And thinks by so doing to lessen man's hate. 
 
 The absurdity, aye, the foolish mistake 
 Of murder less, by setting the pace! 
 
 Are we Christian and continue to make 
 
 Laws that kill others? It's absurd on the face. 
 
 Let's now make amends; give good for the bad; 
 
 Be more like men than savages cruel; 
 Teach criminals kindness (Oh it is sad!) 
 
 "Like produces like," a staid and fast rule. 
 
 When will we learn that to have better men 
 We must set the example and show them the 
 way 
 
 Of charity, kindness, calmness; and then 
 
 Man's inherent goodness responds right away.
 
 130 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 Hold on there, old man, you're way out of date, 
 The solons at Pierre followed Beebe who led. 
 
 No legal killing in the "Sunshine State," 
 
 No more hanging humans till they are dead. 
 
 Three cheers for advancement; three for Beebe! 
 
 Three cheers for Old Glory and congress at 
 
 Pierre ! 
 Posterity will praise you, lawmaker men, 
 
 For this legislative act of the year. 
 
 God dwells in us according to the love 
 we shed abroad How much of God have 
 you? 
 
 If you have ever done me a wrong 
 forget it it has been blotted from 
 my mind recorder.
 
 ODE TO A LANDMARK 
 
 "Old landmark is destroyed by fire. Old Beard 
 block built in 1881. ***Replaced by fire-proof 
 structure. News item. 
 
 The old Beard block is gone, is gone; aye now is gone 
 forever ! 
 
 She stood the test of time and strain, in cold and pleas 
 ant weather. 
 
 She's gone the way all men must go, to make room 
 for another, 
 
 And though replaced by modern block, she was our 
 building "mother." 
 
 Man's going on and thine, old friend, isn't bad as we 
 
 suppose, 
 
 If we are true and ready too, to go and meet with those 
 Who've passed this way as we pass on our loved ones 
 
 and our blest. 
 Yea, not so bad, old landmark friend, if we have done 
 
 our best. 
 
 So fare thee well, old landmark friend, friend we'll miss, 
 
 alas ! 
 You did your part, you served your age, it's but your 
 
 right to pass. 
 It's but your right to pass away, make room for blocks 
 
 anew; 
 And so, we too, will serve our age, pass on, pass on 
 
 as you.
 
 132 SOCIAL POEMS 
 
 IT'S YOU 
 
 When my soul's engulfed in darkness; 
 
 When the tears begin to flow; 
 When words seem not to comfort; 
 
 When no one else can know 
 Just why my heart is aching, 
 
 And cannot understand; 
 I seek thee, life's companion 
 
 In fancy feel thy hand. 
 My heart is stirred and warmed, 
 
 I know you're the friend so true; 
 In spirit still you guide me, 
 
 My loving wife, it's you.
 
 Sausages
 
 SAUSAGES 135 
 
 'LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT" 
 
 If life is what we make it 
 What about your mother-in-law? 
 
 Whose fault is it that she comes round, 
 Forever works her jaw? 
 
 If life is what we make it 
 What about a boil on your leg? 
 
 Did you make that, or inherit it? 
 Come down a notch or a peg! 
 
 If life is what we make it 
 
 What about the Johnstown flood? 
 
 "You lie!" said one to Mikey Flynn. 
 He soaked ME with a club. 
 
 If life is what we make it 
 
 Johnny Jones, look here ! 
 I sat alone, when, zip! there came 
 
 An egg and hit my ear ! 
 
 Now tell me, sir, what did I do 
 
 As peacefully I sat, 
 And did not say or do a thing 
 
 But got a swat like that?
 
 136 SAUSAGES 
 
 If life is what we make it 
 And I got rotten egged 
 
 Oh lordy massa! Mary Ann! 
 I'll next become peg-legged! 
 
 And then what's next, I cannot tell, 
 Suppose I'll lose my "goat," 
 
 If I lose that I'm gone for sure 
 They'll surely have me soaked! 
 
 Is life then what we make it? 
 
 The devil adds a fling: 
 "I get the knocks the 'old boy' sends 
 
 I'm blamed for the whole dern thing."
 
 SAUSAGES 137 
 
 WHY MY WIFE LEFT ME 
 
 My wifey dear is large and husky, in fact a trained 
 
 athlete. 
 Had won all honors in her gym; with Samson could 
 
 compete. 
 She practiced well with big dumb bell; could double 
 
 quick the hall; 
 Swimming tank and rowing boat well captain of 
 
 them all. 
 Domestic science, her long suit; her tasty home-made 
 
 bread 
 Was due to the use of the rolling pin she practiced 
 
 on my head. 
 
 My wife, she seemed to love me that's what the 
 
 neighbors said 
 She practiced every cooking day by soaking my poor 
 
 head. 
 I bought a car; most stylish clothes were hers, and not 
 
 a few; 
 I did my level best to be her sweetheart tried and 
 
 true. 
 I cut the wood, washed dishes too, swept and made 
 
 the bed. 
 Despite all this she left because she couldn't soak my 
 
 head.
 
 138 SAUSAGES 
 
 She told me how to brush my hair and said I should 
 
 be fat 
 When I was lean she wanted me round instead of 
 
 flat. 
 I ate and ate and ate some more; 'twas eating for her 
 
 sake; 
 In fact did almost everything but try to cook and 
 
 bake. 
 My wife did that her arm is strong I swept and 
 
 made the bed. 
 But wifey dear, she left because she couldn't soak my 
 
 head. 
 
 And now I am a lonesome man, I'm sorry "we're 
 
 all in;" 
 That is, I would be sorry quite, if not for the rolling 
 
 pin. 
 Guess I will call and see her ma and tell her how it 
 
 went; 
 For really now, I love my wife and on her love I'm 
 
 bent. 
 
 # # # * * # 
 
 I've seen her ma and seen her pa, and it's all right they 
 
 said, 
 And she'll come back, be my sweet wife, stop soaking 
 
 my poor head. 
 
 Autos honk, fools croak, cranks kick, 
 but men hoe corn.
 
 SAUSAGES 139 
 
 WHY I AM SINGLE 
 
 I built a house, and furnished it and planned a real 
 
 good time, 
 Had done my best to own a home, the best one of its 
 
 kind. 
 I took "her" there, walked 'bout the place and showed 
 
 her all around; 
 She led me under a true lover's moon and there she 
 
 turned me down. 
 
 Another time I bought a car and diamonds too, 
 
 you bet; 
 And thought right there I was secure with a bride, the 
 
 best one yet. 
 I took her out to "joy ride," no better road e'er 
 
 found, 
 As we rode under a true lover's moon, O me, she turned 
 
 me down. 
 
 Then one fine day I bought a farm and stocked it well, 
 
 you see; 
 I talked it over with my girl, she promised to love 
 
 me 
 And then her mother came our way a mother with a 
 
 frown 
 She led me under a true lover's moon and there SHE 
 
 turned me down.
 
 140 SAUSAGES 
 
 One time I set my mind to get the fairest girl, you 
 
 know, 
 I won her heart and thought her hand was mine as well, 
 
 by Joe ! 
 When I set out to see her pa who lived just out of 
 
 town, 
 He led me under a true lover's moon and there HE 
 
 turned me down. 
 / 
 
 Since then I've given up the chase, it hardly seems 
 
 worth while, 
 So I'm content to live a batch a batch right up to 
 
 style 
 And work and save and play the part of a man with 
 
 great renown 
 And won't be led under any moon to let 'EM turn me 
 
 down. 
 
 When in doubt kick your preacher 
 it will relieve your feelings and maybe 
 he needs its. That's the way the world 
 seems to view the preacher business.
 
 SAUSAGES 141 
 
 SUPPOSE 
 
 Suppose you were a mother-in-law, 
 One of the talkative kind? 
 
 How would you like to be muzzled 
 Or soaked away in brine? 
 
 Suppose you were a little dog, 
 
 One of the higher class? 
 How would you like to be labeled 
 
 With a collar made of brass? 
 
 Suppose you were a real ducky, 
 A duck that flies and swims? 
 
 How would you like to live on eels 
 Or fish that have big fins? 
 
 Suppose you were a black spider, 
 The poisonous kind, you know? 
 
 How would you like to be caged up 
 And travel with a show? 
 
 Suppose you were an elephant, 
 With trunk so long and fine? 
 
 How would you like to eat peanuts 
 And travel all the time? 
 
 Suppose you were a big jackass, 
 (And that's not saying much,) 
 
 How would you like to be prodded? 
 Come on! what say you Dutch?
 
 142 SAUSAGES 
 
 Suppose you were a dog-gone fool 
 
 And didn't have 'a cent, 
 How would you pay for coal and wood 
 
 Or even pay your rent? 
 
 Suppose you were a trick monkey, 
 
 The show kind in a cage, 
 What would you think of living then, 
 
 If fed on nuts and sage? 
 
 Suppose your wife had just left you, 
 
 Had left and gone away? 
 O say, where would you sleep at night, 
 
 In bed, or stack of hay? 
 
 Suppose you're I and I were you, 
 And both were "Batty Bills"? 
 
 O cut it out this word "Suppose" 
 And give me Munyon's pills. 
 
 "Suppose? Suppose?" "Hey cut it out 
 I've heard enough for me." 
 
 Suppose just for a kid, suppose, 
 Suppose, you're Patty's flea?
 
 SAUSAGES 143 
 
 THE HIGH COST OF LIVING 
 
 "Will the si.-e of the loaf be smaller? This is the 
 question that worries consumers as the price of 
 wheat goes upward." News item. 
 
 Will the size of the loaf be smaller? for heaven's sake 
 
 say, "No." 
 It will drive me to the mad house, to the calaboose 
 
 I'll go. 
 
 How could a loaf be smaller? (O heavens give us 
 hope ! ) 
 
 It can't be seen, if smaller 'tis, without a micro 
 scope. 
 
 I used to buy a loaf of bread; on it my family 
 
 feed, 
 And when the meal was over with we had some left 
 
 "for seed." 
 
 But O, ye gods! who make our laws and now our 
 
 bread do bake ! 
 
 For heaven's sake! don't cut it down; I'll have the 
 
 belly ache. 
 
 That stomach ache, will ache, 'cause can't you under 
 stand? 
 
 A little loaf will irritate worse than a grain of 
 sand. 
 
 I'd rather die of starving; run over by a 
 
 "chauf," 
 Than be killed off with a bit of dough made into a 
 
 smaller loaf.
 
 144 SAUSAGES 
 
 WHAT A WIFE SHOULD EXPECT FROM HER 
 HUSBAND 
 
 What a wife should expect from her 
 husband? 
 
 Why nothing, you should know that 
 Except, once in a very long while, 
 
 A new winter coat or a hat. 
 
 Why should she expect or even dare 
 
 think 
 
 Of things from her husband, her "lord?" 
 If he gives her a room perchance a new 
 
 broom, 
 And stately allows her board? 
 
 What a wife should expect from her 
 husband 
 
 Is meager and scrubby and flat; 
 For isn't he lord of all creation ! 
 
 And doesn't she know all of that? 
 
 If she has a room and soup once a day, 
 Is allowed the care of her child; 
 
 What more does she want, in this age of 
 
 the world? 
 I forgot, she might want a smile.
 
 What a Wife Should Expect From Her Husband 145 
 
 For parties and outing; for friendships 
 
 and dance 
 
 She never should give them a care; 
 Should wait on his lordship, take wash 
 ings, perchance 
 Look after the dear children's hair. - 
 
 That's pleasure enough, aye, plenty "me 
 
 lord," 
 
 And that's quite enough for a bride, 
 So let her remember her place and her 
 
 work, 
 Her husband, the kids and fireside. 
 
 % ;J< % ^e % 3f 
 
 But then, women dear, there are men 
 
 and there 're men, 
 There are men and lovers of wives, 
 Who see that their helpmeets have 
 
 everything nice 
 From smiling to friendships and drives. 
 
 A wife should expect from her husband 
 
 that's human 
 
 The very best time in the world; 
 And the one who deprives her, this privi 
 lege and pleasure 
 Is the worst of a devilish churl.
 
 146 SAUSAGES 
 
 WHAT A MAN SHOULD EXPECT FROM HIS WIFE 
 
 What a man should expect from his wife? 
 
 Why, every thing under the sun 
 From cutting the wood for his breakfast, 
 
 To wadding and cleaning his gun. 
 
 A wife that's good "lays her hand to the distaff;" 
 Takes washing and sharpens her knife; 
 
 Most everything he can hope or expect 
 He surely should have from his wife. 
 
 When baby's asleep, (he, snoring in bed), 
 
 Let her darn up all of the socks; 
 Learn patching too, how husbands are fed, 
 
 Then walk with the wash ten blocks. 
 
 She can write, she can cook, raise cash for the rent; 
 
 She can paint, make over old hats; 
 While husband is out on pleasure bent 
 
 Can even kill roaches and rates. 
 
 With this we are judging some of your men, 
 But you can just bet your sweet lives 
 
 There are plenty of men that you and I know, 
 Don't expect quite so much from their wives.
 
 SAUSAGES 147 
 
 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MATRIMONY? 
 
 What's wrong with matrimony? "Why, man, the 
 
 whole blame thing!" 
 That's what the bachelors tell you, that's what the 
 
 bachelors sing. 
 
 They have no wives or babies, no grocery bills or 
 
 rent, 
 No coal; no gowns to buy; for self there's every 
 
 cent. 
 No handy rolling pin; no feathers, waists or 
 
 hats. 
 No mothers-in-law there are; no extra beds or flats. 
 
 But think! ye men, there's no sweet wife to greet you 
 
 with a smile, 
 No little ones to call you "dad" and play with you the 
 
 while. 
 
 What's wrong with holy matrimony? Say man, why 
 
 take the fling? 
 If man and wife are mated right, there's not one 
 
 single thing. 
 
 Lose you temper and you've lost 
 your game.
 
 SAUSAGES 
 CATCHING A MORNING TRAIN 
 
 Did you ever rise at three A. M. to catch 
 
 a morning train? 
 For if you have, I'll bet a dime you 
 
 won't do so again 
 And did you hear the dread alarm, at 
 
 three, beneath your bed? 
 That is, you thought 'twas three o'clock, 
 
 'twas two-fifteen instead. 
 Did you repose again to sleep, to sleep 
 
 with one eye open? 
 Did you doze off a dozen times and wake 
 
 scared stiff or frozen? 
 And then at last the time had past, and 
 
 starting from a doze 
 You leaped from bed, clear 'cross the 
 
 room and nearly broke your nose 
 Against the blasted old gas yet, a-stick- 
 
 ing from the wall? 
 Then did you pick up all your clothes 
 
 and steal into the hall, 
 So's not to wake your sleeping wife and 
 
 in the u spare room" dress? 
 And were you only half awake, O tell 
 
 me, no or yes? 
 Then did you get one pant leg on or was 
 
 it the wrong sock; 
 And pinch yourself to get awake; look 
 
 squarely at the clock 
 And saw your dumfounded alarm was 
 
 thirty minutes late? 
 Then did you storm, and fuss, and fume, 
 
 and say, "That's just my fate"?
 
 SAUSAGES 149 
 
 And did you have but one shoe on, the 
 
 other need a lace? 
 Then did you squirm and sweat, and fret 
 
 and make a dreadful face? 
 And did you get one shirt sleeve on and 
 
 try to get the other 
 When all at once your shirt you tore and 
 
 had to get another? 
 The time was flying fast away; likewise 
 
 your coming train 
 Was flying toward your town depot, and 
 
 you almost insane? 
 Then did you get a collar button and try 
 
 to put it on, 
 When, thunderation ! Carrie Nation! 
 
 you found that it was gone? 
 Then after scrambling on the floor, be 
 neath the dresser too; 
 Then did you bruise your knee or shin, 
 
 and step upon a screw? 
 Say, did you then forsake the hunt, de 
 cide to get one more? 
 When hang the gas ! the thing went out 
 
 you bumped against the door. 
 At last all dressed you thought you 
 
 were no brush had touched 
 
 your pate, 
 You ran half way, till out of breath, and 
 
 found the train was late ! ! 
 And did you then we will not mention 
 
 what you thought and said 
 Determine the next three o'clock would 
 
 find you snug in bed?
 
 SAUSAGES 
 
 THE TALKATIVE MAN 
 
 Have you ever met the man who can talk 
 
 Say, a leg off a piano stool? 
 He'll back the women who can talk off the earth, 
 
 His tongue is a wonderful tool. 
 
 He talks 'bout rain, or perhaps 'bout weather; 
 
 It may be the lodge that he loves; 
 His lodge talk he'll talk, as you sit or you walk; 
 
 Or maybe it's horses or doves. 
 
 Or golf it may be what a golfer he is! 
 
 On tennis his tongue may run, 
 
 How well he can serve what knack! and what 
 nerve ! 
 
 And the medals this talker has won (?) 
 
 In his MIND, has won, or is yet to win; 
 
 But he talks of HIS "serves" and HIS gait; 
 0, this lawn tennis man; women, beat if you can 
 
 Any woman he'll talk off the slate. 
 
 It may be baseball that now turns his tongue, 
 Baseball just see that broad smile! 
 
 This wild baseball fan O this talkative man 
 Has woman backed down by a mile.
 
 THE TALKATIVE MAN 151 
 
 Then another he tells a whopper this time 
 
 The truth, you are sure that he bends, 
 But he's got you held fast and you wait till the last 
 
 Of the tale that you think never ends. 
 
 He talks and he talks; and he talks and he talks; 
 
 This talking, most talkative man, 
 Like a clock that is wound and will never run down; 
 
 Among dames find his equal. Who can? 
 
 Or maybe just now, it's some business deal: 
 How HE managed to "put the deal thru" ! 
 
 How a million he won! in HIS MIND O the fun (?) 
 When the talkative man gets at you! 
 
 Fun for HIM, don't you know, O this talkative man! 
 
 You think of your time you would flee. 
 But when you would go, he continues, says, "No 
 
 Just wait now that 'reminds me'."
 
 152 SAUSAGES 
 
 THE TALKATIVE WOMAN 
 
 Do you know the talkative woman; the woman who 
 
 talks and talks? 
 The talkative kind of a woman she talks, and she 
 
 talks and she talks. 
 
 The woman who talks is a talkative woman and a 
 
 woman talker still talks. 
 
 The woman who talks and continues to talk, is a talka 
 tive woman she talks. 
 
 The talkative kind of a talkative woman, is a woman 
 
 who talks while talking. 
 A talking talker, is a woman who talks, and talks 
 
 while talking and talking. 
 
 A talking talkative kind of a talking woman who talks, 
 Is a woman who's talkative about all she talks and then 
 continues her talks. 
 
 This talking, talkative talks talking woman, is a woman 
 
 who talks talking talks, 
 And a talking talkative, talker woman, is the same as 
 
 another who talks. 
 
 So talking or talker; talkative or talks; she's a woman 
 
 who talks talking talks, 
 And a talker, talkative talker is a woman who talks, 
 
 talks, talks and talks.
 
 THE TALKATIVE WOMAN 153 
 
 A talking kind of a talkative woman is a talkative 
 
 woman who talks. 
 And a talkative kind of a talking woman, is a talking 
 
 talker who talks. 
 
 A talker kind of a talking woman, is a talkative woman 
 
 who talks. 
 And a talkative talker woman is a talkative talker who 
 
 talks. 
 
 A talking, talker, talkative woman, is a talkative talker 
 
 who talks, 
 And a talkative, talker, talking woman is the woman 
 
 who talks and talks and talks. 
 
 We get out of the world as much as 
 we put into it, and more what's your 
 share?
 
 154 SAUSAGES 
 
 THE WAY TO FIGHT MOSQUITOES 
 
 The way to fight mosquitoes? That's easy, Uncle Ned; 
 Just hit 'em on the cranium until they are dead. 
 
 Poison them, drown them, soak 'em on the head; 
 Any way to fight them so that they are dead. 
 
 '"4*v 
 
 Of course the purple martins, they say, on them are fed, 
 But the way to fight mosquitoes, is just to kill them 
 dead. 
 
 Don't cork 'em in the stom-jack or swat 'em in the bed 
 Unless you hit 'em hard enough to kill 'em dead, dead. 
 
 A mosquito has a dozen lives (some, twenty- four 'tis 
 
 said) 
 I guess it's nearer fifty when they're not dead. 
 
 A dead mosquito, half alive, will pester any head 
 That's short of hair, unless he's sure enough dead, dead. 
 
 So go at 'em with pitchfork, galting gun or lead. 
 
 So long as you are sure that they're dead, dead, dead.
 
 SAUSAGES 155 
 
 A SKUNK USES VIOLENCE A MAN NEVER! ! 
 
 A SKYLARK'S ODE TO THE FORD 
 
 Where are you going, my happy man? 
 "I'm going to buy a car," said Ham; 
 So the son of Ham and Ham himself, 
 And Ham's son's Ham and Ham's 
 
 young elf, 
 
 Ham's Cousin Kate and Uncle McCord; 
 In fact, the whole Ham family bought 
 a Ford. 
 
 You cannot afford to make enemies 
 the devil sends plenty without your aid.
 
 156 SAUSAGES 
 
 ODE TO A POWDER RAG 
 
 The phrase "To be or not to be," is never said to a 
 
 powder rag; 
 It's sure "to be" my lady says, so carefully sticks it in 
 
 her bag. 
 
 
 "O you dear thing, you powder rag, rag of long ago; 
 The older we are, the more the years, the greater our 
 love doth grow. 
 
 "I cherish you, my powder rag, rag of many climes; 
 To date, I've used you day and night, two thousand 
 million times. 
 
 "I could not live apart from thee; my love for thee 
 
 doth burn, 
 I'll part with many other friends you're used at every 
 
 turn. 
 
 "I use you early, use you late, my tootsy powder 
 
 puff, 
 I use you on a railway train, I take you in my muff. 
 
 "No harm shall ever come to you, on hillside, dell or 
 
 plain, 
 If I'm too hot I use you much; too cold, I do the 
 
 same.
 
 ODE TO A POWDER RAG 157 
 
 "Day in, day out, in cold or heat, you stay close to 
 
 my side, 
 And spur me on to powder up, to rival any bride. 
 
 "Apart from thee, I could not live, our parting never 
 
 be! 
 I'll sing with operatic style, and rag-time, rag, to 
 
 thee." 
 
 You believe in me; I believe in you; 
 and all believe in God; means the sal 
 vation of the world. 
 
 If ye seek ye shall find argal 
 put on your specs.
 
 1 58 SAUSAGES 
 
 REMAKING MYSELF 
 
 The psychologists say we can be made over- 
 In temperment. 
 
 They say we now can be made over. 
 
 Is that from head to toe? 
 If this be the real meaning, 
 
 Here's what I want, by Joe ! 
 
 I want no freckles on my skin. 
 
 Put beauty spots instead; 
 For luck give me a mole or two 
 
 Then please, a whole new head. 
 
 Put in that head more brains you bet; 
 
 O, brains with common sense; 
 Then make my daily earning power 
 
 Worth more than thirty cents. 
 
 And while you're doing up the job 
 
 GivTe disposition new, 
 And sprinkle round some patience mild 
 
 And make me Dutch instead of Jew. 
 
 Remove my nose which is too large, 
 And make my teeth look straight ; 
 
 And make my ears more like a man's 
 Not a jackass's mate. 
 
 And don't forget that mouth of mine 
 
 It really is too large, 
 And says too much the whole day long- 
 
 And then, this bill, please charge. 
 
 And when you have me made all over 
 
 And I am not myself; 
 Just send the bill to whom I was, 
 
 And keep the change yourself.
 
 SAUSAGES 150 
 
 EASTER 
 
 We should think of the Eastertide, 
 Of Christ and the Easter Morn, 
 
 Of the sepulchre wide open, 
 Of the joy that Christ was born. 
 
 We should think of life eternal, 
 Of loving deeds and "Acts" 
 
 But nay, the question eternal: 
 What about our Easter hats? 
 
 Love is the mainspring of all that 
 is godly therefore get love. 
 
 I have been a sucker were 
 you ever caught?
 
 160 SAUSAGES 
 
 DETERMINNAYSHUN 
 
 I'll plan my work, I'll follow it, 
 
 For I'm on victory bent; 
 For all the strength and will I need 
 
 The gods to me hath lent. 
 
 I know there's something I can do 
 
 In this great world I'm in; 
 The gods give me desire to do; 
 
 Desire has ever been. 
 
 I see around me many men 
 Who work with skillful hand; 
 
 And I affirm God means I, too, 
 Can do what others can. 
 
 Of course, there's something I can do 
 
 And be at it expert; 
 I'll find that work and follow it - 
 
 If I have to tear my shirt. 
 
 To love me because I love you 
 is well, but to love me if I don't 
 love you is great 'tis divine.
 
 "PIKE'S PEAK OR BUST" IS A LECTURE 
 
 Tilled with Bombs, Dynamite, Thunder-bolts and 
 Catling Guns. 
 
 IT IS TO THINK AND LAUGH. 
 
 An evening of sense and nonsense; humorous, 
 thrilling and dramatic.
 
 PS 
 3503 
 
 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACIUTY 
 
 Mill) II 1 1 III" III ii in ii in" I" 11 IMM ' 
 
 A 000926436 7