MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN, MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN; OR, A CADET'S FIEST YEAE IN INDIA. CAPTAIN BELLEW. ILLUSTRATED FROM DESIGNS BY THE AUTHOR. A NEW EDITION. LONDON: H. ALLEN & CO., 13, WATERLOO PLACE, S.W., PUBLISHERS TO THE INDIA OFFICE. 1880. LONDON : PRINTED BY WOODFALL AND KINDER, MTLFORD LANE, STRAND, W.C. MfcNKT TO MAJOR-GEN. Sm EGBERT CUNLIFFE, BAHT., C.B., OF ACTON PARK, DENBIGHSHIRE, LATE COMMISSARY-GENERAL OF THE BENGAL ARMY, IN WHOSE DEPARTMENT THE AUTHOR HAD FOR SOME YEARS THE HONOUR TO SERVE, THIS LITTLE WORK 18 RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED, AS A MARK OF HIS SINCERE ESTEEM. 514766 PREFACE. GOOD wine, says the proverb, needs no bush; on the same principle, some will think that a book, if readable, may dispense with a preface. As a general rule this may be true, but there are occasions, and I take leave to deem this one of them, when, from the peculiar nature of the subject, a few preliminary observations, by creating a clear and possibly a pleasant understanding between the author and the gentle reader, may not be unacceptable or out of place. In the following little narrative, in which I have blended fact and fiction though always endea- vouring to keep the vraisemllable in view my object has been to depict some of those scenes, characters, and adventures, which some five-and-twenty or thirty years ago a " jolly cadet" alias a Griffin was likely to encounter, during the first year of his military career ; men, manners, and things in general have, since that period, undergone considerable changes ; still, in its main features, the sketch I have drawn, admitting its original correctness, will doubtless apply as well to Griffins in the present mature age of the century, as when it was in its teens. The Griffin, or Greenhorn, indeed, though Vlll PREFACE. subject, like everything else, to the external changes incident to time and fashion, is, perhaps, fundamentally and essentially, one of the "never ending, still begin- ning " states, or phases of humanity, destined to exist till the " crash of doom." The characters which I have introduced in my nar- rative (for the most part as transiently as the fleeting shadows of a magic latern across a spectrum) are all intended to represent respectively classes having more or less of an Oriental stamp, some still existing unchanged others on the wane and a few, I would fain hope, who, like the Trunnions and Westerns (parva componere magnis] of the last age have wholly disappeared before the steadily increasing light of knowledge and civiliza- tion influences destructive of those coarse humours, narrow prejudices, and eccentric traits, which, however amusing in the pages of the novelist, are wondrously disagreeable in real life. It is true, the gradual dis- appearance of these coarser features imposes on the painter of life and manners the necessity of cultivating a nicer perception of working with a finer pencil, and of seizing and embodying the now less obvious indications of the feelings and passions the more delicate lights and shades of mind and character but still in parting in a great measure with the materials for coarse drollery and broad satire, the world perhaps on the whole will be a gainer ; higher feelings will be addressed than those which minister to triumph and imply humiliation : for though 'tis well to laugh at folly and expose it 'twere perhaps better to have no folly or error to laugh at and expose. In the following pages, my wish has been to amuse, PREFACE. IX and where I could without detriment to the professedly light and jocular character of the work to instruct and improve. To hurt or offend has never entered into my contemplation if such could ever be my object, I should not do it under a mask. I deem it necessary to make this observation en passant, lest, like a young officer I once heard of in India, who, conscience-stricken on hearing some of his besetting sins, as he thought, pointedly denounced, flung out of the church, declaring " there was no standing the chaplain's personalities," some of my readers should think that I have been taking, under cover, a sly shot at themselves or friends. That the characters lightly sketched in these Memoirs have been taken from life i.e., that the ideas of them have been furnished by real personages I in some measure candidly allow, though I have avoided making the portraits invidiously exact ; as in a dream, busy fancy weaves a tissue of events out of the stored impressions of the brain, so, of course, the writer of a story must in like manner, though with more congruity, arrange and embody his scattered recollections, though not necessarily in the exact shape and order in which the objects, &c., originally presented themselves. Moreover, I believe I may safely add, that the originals of my sketches have, for the most part, long since brought " life's fitful fever " to a close. To the kind care of the public I now consign the " Griffin," particularly to that portion of it connected with India, a country where my best days have been spent, the scene of some of my happiest hours, as alas ! of my severest trials and bereavements ; hoping, on account of his " youth," they will take him under their X PREFACE. especial protection. To the critics I also commend him, trusting, if they have " any bowels," that they will, for the same reason, deal with him tenderly. London queen of cities ! on sympathetic grounds, I hope for your munificent patronage. Griffins* are your supporters, then why not support my " Griffin ? " If encouraged by the smiles of a " discriminating public," I may, at some future period, impart the late Brevet Captain Gernon's post-griffinish experiences amongst Burmahs, Pindarics, and " Chimeras dire," with his " impressions of home," as contained in the remain- ing autobiography of that lamented gentleman, who sunk under a gradual decay of nature and a schirrous liver, some time during the last hot summer. It is proper I should state that these Memoirs, in a somewhat different form, first saw the light in the pages of the Asiatic Journal. * The arms of the City of London supported by Griffins or Wyverns. LIST OF ILLUSTEATIONS. PACK Mr. Cadet Gernon, anxious to discover a Royal Bengal Tiger, falls in with a Bear . 60 General Capsicum on board the Roticribeam Castle ... 66 Griff, on Landing, besieged by Baboos 74 Returning from the Hog-hunt 351 Ensign Rattleton receiving Morning Reports from the Fat Lord and the Red Lion 177 The Native Court-Martial 202 Griffin Mudlarking in the Jheels 246 Colonel Heliogabalus Bluff and Orderly taking Morning Stroll . 253 Griffin Marching to Join in Patriarchal Style .... 336 The Last Night of his Griffinage Marpeet Royal . . . 372 X PREFACE. especial protection. To the critics I also commend him, trusting, if they have " any bowels," that they will, for the same reason, deal with him tenderly. London queen of cities ! on sympathetic grounds, I hope for your munificent patronage. Griffins* are your supporters, then why not support my " Griffin ? " If encouraged by the smiles of a " discriminating public," I may, at some future period, impart the late Brevet Captain Gernon's post-griffinish experiences amongst Burmahs, Pindarics, and " Chimeras dire," with his "impressions of home," as contained in the remain- ing autobiography of that lamented gentleman, who sunk under a gradual decay of nature and a schirrous liver, some time during the last hot summer. It is proper I should state that these Memoirs, in a somewhat different form, first saw the light in the pages of the Asiatic Journal. * The arms of the City of London supported by Griffins or Wyrerns. LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. PACK Mr. Cadet Gernon, anxious to discover a Royal Bengal Tiger, falls in with a Bear . 60 General Capsicum on board the Rottcribeam Castle ... 66 Griff, on Landing, besieged by Baboos 74 Returning from the Hog-hunt . .. . .. . 351 Ensign Rattleton receiving Morning Reports from the Fat Lord and the Red Lion . 177 The Native Court-Martial . . , . . . .202 Griffin Mudlarking in the Jheels 246 Colonel Heliogabalus Bluff and Orderly taking Morning Stroll . 253 Griffin Marching to Join in Patriarchal Style .... 336 The Last Night of his Griffinage Marpeet Royal . . .372 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. CHAPTER I. PLEASANT days of my Griffinhood ! green oasis of life's desert waste ! thoughtless, joyous, happy season, when young Hope told " her flattering tale," and novelty broke sweetly upon a heart unsated by the world, with what fond and regretful emotions do I now look back upon you through the long, dim, dreary vista of five- and- twenty years ! But I think I hear a raw reader exclaim, " Griffins ! are there griffins in the East ? " " Assuredly, sir. Did you never hear of the law of Zoroaster, quoted in Zadig, by which griffins' flesh is prohibited to be eaten ? Griffins are so common at the different presidencies of India that nobody looks at them, and most of these animals are very tame." I will not, however, abuse the traveller's privilege. Griffin, or more familiarly a Griff, is an Anglo-Indian cant term applied to all new-comers, whose lot has been cast in the " gorgeous East." Whether the appellation has any connection with the fabulous compound, the gryps or gryphon of armorial blazoning, is a point which I feel myself incompetent to decide.* A griffin is the Johnny Newcome of the East, one whose European manners and ideas stand out in ludicrous * Milton speaks of the Gryphon as a "guardian of gold," but that can clearly have no connection with our animal, whose propensities in respect to the precious metals are quite of an opposite tendency. B 2 DEMOTES OF A GRIFFIN. relief when contrasted with those, so essentially different in most respects, which appertain to the new country of his sojourn. The ordinary period of griffinhood is a year, hy which time the novus homo, if apt, is supposed to have acquired a sufficient familiarity with the language, hahits, customs, and manners of the country, hoth Anglo-Indian and Native, so as to preclude his making himself supremely ridiculous by "blunders, gaucheries, and the indiscriminate application of English standards to states of things to which those rules are not always exactly adapted. To illustrate hy example : a good- natured Englishman, who should present a Brahmin who worships the cow with a hottle of beef-steak sauce, would be decidedly " griffinish," particularly if he could be made acquainted with the nature of the gift ; neverthe- less, beef -steak, per se, is an excellent thing in an Englishman's estimation, and a better still with the addition of the before-mentioned condiment. But to return to our subject. At the termination, then, of the above-mentioned period, our griffin, if he has made the most of his time, becomes entitled to associate on pretty equal terms with those sun-dried specimens of the genus homo, familiarly called the " old hands :" subs of fifteen years' standing, grey-headed captains, and superannuated majors, critics profound in the merits of a curry, or the quality of a batch of Hodgson's pale ale. He ceases to be the butt of his regiment, and persecutes in his turn, with the zeal of a convert, all novices not blessed with his modicum of local experience. Youth is proverbially of a plastic nature, and the juvenile griffin, consequently, in the majority of instances, readily accommodates himself to the altered circumstances in which he is placed; but not so the man of mature years, to whose moral and physical organization forty or fifty winters have imparted their rigid and unmalleable influences. Griffins of this description, which commonly comprises bishops, judges, com manders-in- chief, and MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 6 gentlemen sent out on .special missions, &c., protract their griffinage commonly during the whole period of their stay in the country, and never acquire the peculiar knowledge which entitles them to rank with the initiated. The late most excellent Bishop Heber, for example, who to the virtues of a Christian added all the qualities which could adorn the scholar and gentleman, was nevertheless an egregious griffin, as a perusal of his delightful travels in India, written in all the singleness of his benevolent heart, must convince any one acquainted with the charac- ter of the country and the natives of India. Autobiographers love to begin a b ovo, and I see no reason why I should wholly deviate from a custom doubly sanctioned by reason and established usage. It is curious sometimes to trace the gradual development of character in " small " as well as in " great" men ; to note the little incidents which often determine the nature of our future career, and describe the shootings of the young idea at that vernal season when they first begin to expand into trees of good or evil. In an old manor-house, not thirty miles from London, on a gloomy November day, I first saw the light. Of the home of my infancy I remember little but my nursery, a long, bare, whitewashed apart- ment, with a tall, diamond-paned window, half obscured by the funereal branches of a venerable yew-tree. This window looked. out, I remember, on the village church- yard, thickly studded with the moss-grown memorials of successive generations. In that window- seat I used to sit for many a weary hour, watching the boys idling on the gravestones, the jackdaws wheeling their airy circles round the spire, or the parson's old one-eyed horse crop- ping the rank herbage, which sprouted fresh and green above the silent dust of many a " village Hampden." The recollections of infancy, like an old picture, become often dim and obscure, but here and there particular events, like bright lights and rich Eembrandt touches, re- main deeply impressed, which seem to defy the effects of time ; of this kind is a most vivid recollection I have of B 2 4 MEMOIRS OF A GKIFFIN. a venerable uncle of my mother's, an old Indian, who lived with us, and whose knee I always sought when I could give nurse the slip. My great uncle Frank always welcomed me to his little sanctum in the green parlour, and having quite an Arab's notion of the sacred rights of hospitality, invariably refused to give me up when nurse, puffing and foaming, would waddle in to reclaim me. I shall never forget the delight I derived from his pleasant stories and the white sugar- candy, of which he always kept a stock on hand. Good old man ! he died full of years, and was the first of a long series of friends whose loss I have had to lament. My father was, truly, that character emphatically styled "an Irish gentleman," in whom the suavity of the French- man was combined with much of the fire and brilliancy of his native land. Though of an ancient family, his for- tune, derived from an estate in the sister kingdom, was very limited, the " dirty acres " having somehow or other, from generation to generation, become " small by degrees, and beautifully less." He was of a tender frame, and of that delicate, sensitive, nervous tempera- ment, which, though often the attendant on genius, which he unquestionably possessed, little fits those so constituted to buffet with the world, or long to endure its storms. He died in the prime of manhood, when I was very young, and left my mother to struggle with those difficulties which are always incident to a state of widowhood, with a numerous family and a limited in- come. The deficiency of fortune was, however, in her case, compensated by the energies of a masculine under- standing, combined with an untiring devotion to the interest and welfare of her children. Trades and professions in England are almost as com- pletely hereditary as among the castes of India. The great Franklin derived his " ponderous strength," physi- cal if not intellectual, from a line of Blacksmiths, and I, Frank Gernon, inherit certain atrabilious humours, maternally, from a long series of very respectable " Qui MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 5 Hyes."* Yes, my mother's family father, grandfather, uncles, and cousins had all served with exemplary fidelity that potent merchant-monarch affectionately termed in India the Honourable John (though degraded, I am sorry to say, into an " old woman " by his native subjects) ; they had all flourished for more than a cen- tury under the shade of the " rupee tree," a plant of Hesperidean virtues, whose fructiferous powers, alas ! have since their time sadly declined. These, my mater- nal progenitors, were men both of the sword and pen ; some had filled high civil stations with credit, whilst others, under the banners of a Olive, a Lawrence, or a Munro, had led " Ind's dusky chivalry " to war, and participated in many of those glorious, but now time- mellowed exploits, from which the splendid fabric of our Eastern dominions has arisen. This, and other circum- stances on which I shall briefly touch, combined to point my destiny to the gorgeous East. My mother, for the reasons given, and the peculiar facilities which she consequently had for establishing us in that quarter, had from an early period looked fondly to India as the theatre for the future exertions of her sons. But long before the period of my departure arrived indeed I may say almost from infancy I had been inoculated by my mother, my great uncle, and sundry parchment-faced gentlemen who frequented our house, with a sort of Indo- mania. I was never tired of hearing of its people, their manners, dress, &c., and was perfectly read on the sub- ject of alligators and Bengal tigers. I used, indeed, regularly and systematically to persecute and bore every Anglo-Indian that came in my way for authentic accounts of their history and mode of destruction, &c. One most benevolent old gentleman, a fine specimen of the Indian of other days, and a particular friend of my family, used to "fool us to the top of our bent" in that way. I say us, for the Indo-mania was not confined to myself. * Cant term for residents in the Bengal Presidency "Qui Hye," " who wait," being constantly addressed to servants. 6 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. My mother, too, used to entertain us with her experi- ences, which served to feed the ardent longing which I felt to visit the East. How often in the winter evenings of pleasant " lang syne," when the urn hissed on the table, and the cat purred on the comfortable rug, has our then happy domestic circle listened with delight to her account of that far-distant land ! What respect did the sonorous names of Bangalore and Cuddalore, and Nundy Droog and Severn Droog, and Hookhaburdar and Soontabur- dars, and a host of others, excite in our young minds ! In what happy accordance with school-boy thoughts were the descriptions she gave us of the fruits of that sunny clime the luscious mango the huge jack the refresh- ing guava and, above all, the delicious custard- apple, a production which I never in the least doubted contained the exact counterpart of that pleasant admixture of milk and eggs which daily excited my longing eyes amongst the tempting display of a pastry-cook's window ! Some- times she rose to higher themes, in which the pathetic or adventurous predominated. How my poor cousin Will fell by the dagger of an assassin at the celebrated mas- sacre of Patna ; and how another venturous relative shot a tiger on foot, thereby earning the benedictions of a whole community of peaceful Hindoos, whose village had long been the scene of his midnight maraudings : this story, by the way, had a dash of the humorous in it, though relating in the main to a rather serious affair. It never lost its raciness by repetition, and whenever my mother told it, which at our request she frequently did, and approached what we deemed the comic part, our risibles were always on full-cock for a grand and simultaneous explosion of mirth. Well, time rolled on; I had doubled the Cape of Good Hope, sweet sixteen, and the ocean of life and adventure lay before me. I stood five feet nine inches in my stockings, and possessed all the aspirations common to my age. " Frank, my love," one day said my mother to me, at the conclusion of breakfast, " I MEMOIRS OP A GRIFFIN. 7 have good news for you ; that most henevolent of men, Mr. Versanket, has complied with my application, and given me an infantry cadetship for you ; here," she con- tinued, " is his letter, read it, and ever retain, as I trust you will, a lively sense of his goodness." I eagerly seized the letter, and read the contents with a kind of ecstasy. It expressed sympathy in my mother's difficul- ties, and an invitation to me to come to London and take advantage of his offer. I will not dwell on the parting scenes. Suffice it to say, that I embraced those dear objects of my affection, many of whom I was never destined to embrace again, and bid a sorrowful long adieu to the parental roof. I arrived in the great metropolis, and prepared for my outfit and departure. Having completed the former sheets, ducks, jeans, and gingerbread, tobacco to bribe old Neptune, brandy to mollify the sailors, and all et ceteras, according to the most approved list of Messrs. Welsh and Stalker nought remained but to pass the India House, an ordeal which I was led to view with an indefinable dread. From whom I received the informa- tion I now forget, though it was probably from some one of that mischievous tribe of jokers, who love to sport with the feelings of youth ; but I was told that it was absolutely necessary that I should learn by heart, as an indispensable preliminary to passing, the " Articles of War and Mutiny Act," then forming one volume. What was my state of alarm and despondency as I handled that substantial yellow-backed tome, and reflected on the task I had to perform of committing its whole contents to memory in the brief space of one week ! It haunted me in my dreams, and the thought of it, sometimes crossing my mind whilst eating, almost suspended the power of swallowing. I carried it about with me where- ever I went, applying to it with desperate determination whenever a leisure moment, of which I had very few, would admit ; but what I forced into my sensorium one moment, the eternal noise and racket of London drove 8 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. out of it the next. To cut a long story short, the day arrived, " the all-important day," big with my fate. I found myself waiting in the India House, preparatory to appearing before the directors, and, saving the first two or three clauses, the "Articles of War " were to me as a sealed volume. I was in despair ; to be disgraced ap- peared inevitable. At last came the awful summons, and I entered the apartment, where, at a large table covered with green cloth, sat the " potent, grave, and reverend signiors," who were to decide my fate. One of them, a very benevolent-looking old gentleman, with a powdered head, desired me to advance, and having asked me a few questions touching my name, age, &c., he paused, and, to my inexpressible alarm, took up a volume -from the table, which was no other than that accursed piece of military codification of which I have made mention. Now, thought I, it comes, and all is over. After turning over the leaves for some seconds, he said, raising his head, " I suppose you are well acquainted with the con- tents of this volume ? " Heaven forgive me ! but the instinct of self-preservation was strong upon me, and I mumbled forth a very suspicious "Yes." Ye generous casuists, who invent excuses for human frailty, plead for my justification. "Well," continued he, closing the book, " conduct yourself circumspectly in the situation in which you are about to enter, and you will acquire the approbation of your superiors ; you may now retire." Those who can imagine the feelings of a culprit re- prieved, after the fatal knot has been comfortably adjusted by a certain legal functionary ; or those of a curate, with 50 per annum, and fifteen small children, on the an- nouncement of a legacy of <) 0,000; or those of a respectable spinster of forty, on having the question un- expectedly popped ; or, in short, any other situation where felicity obtrudes unlooked for, may form some idea of mine ; I absolutely walked on air, relieved from this incubus, and gave myself up to the most delightful buoyancy of spirits. A few days more, and Mr. Cadet MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 9 Francis Gernon found himself on board the Eottenleam Castle, steering down Channel, and with tearful eyes casting a lingering gaze on the shores of old Eng- land. CHAPTER II. THE first scene of this eventful drama closed with my embarkation on board the Rottenbeam Castle, bound for Bengal. Saving an Irish packet, this was the first ship on which I had ever set foot, and it presented a new world to my observation a variety of sights and sounds which, by giving fresh occupation to my thoughts and feelings, served in some measure to banish the tristful remembrance of home. All, at first, was a chaos to me ; but when the confusion incidental to embarkation and departure (the preliminary shake of this living kaleidos- cope), a general clearing out of visitors, custom-house officers, bum-boat women, et hoc genus oinne, had sub- sided, things speedily fell into that regular order charac- teristic of vessels of this description each individual took up his proper position, and entered in an orderly manner on his prescribed and regular routine of duty ; and I began to distinguish officers from passengers, and to learn the rank and importance of each respectively. Before proceeding further with ship-board scenes, a slight sketch of a few of the dramatis persona may not be unacceptable. And first, our commander, the autocrat of this little empire. Captain McGuffin was a raw-boned Caledonian, of some six foot three ; a huge, red-headed man of great physical powers, of which, however, his whole demeanour, singularly mild, evinced a pleasing unconsciousness; bating the latter quality, he was just such a man of nerves and sinews as in the olden time, at Falkirk or Bannockburn, one could fancy standing like a tower of strength, amidst the din and clash of arms, 10 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. " slaughing " off heads and arms, muckle broad-sword in band, with fearful energy and effect. He had a sombre and fanatical expression of visage ; and I never looked at his " rueful countenance " but I thought I saw the genuine descendant of one of those stern covenanters of yore, of whom I had read one of those "crop-eared whigs '' who, on lonely moor and mountain, had struggled for the rights of conscience, and fought with indomitable obstinacy the glorious fight of freedom. I soon discovered I was not " alone in my glory," and that another cadet was destined to share with me the honours of the " Griffinage." He was a gawky, wide- mouthed fellow, with locks like a pound of candles, and trousers half-way up his calves ; one who, from his ap- pearance, it was fair to infer had never before been ten miles from his native village. It was a standing source of wonder to all on board (and to my knowledge the enigma was never satisfactorily solved), by what strange concurrence of circumstances, what odd twist of Dame Fortune's wheel, this Gaspar Hauserish specimen of rus- ticity had attained to the distinguished honour of being allowed to sign himself " gentleman cadet," in any " warrant, bill, or quittance;" but so it was. The old adage, however, applied in his case ; he turned out event- ually to be much less of a fool than he looked. Our first officer, Mr. Gillans, was a thorough seaman, and a no less thorough John Bull ; he had the then com- mon detestation of the French and their imputed vices of insincerity, &c., and in endeavouring to avoid the Scylla of Gallic deceit, went plump into the Charybdis of Eng- lish rudeness. He was in truth, a blunt, gruff fellow, who evidently thought that civility and poltroonery were con- vertible terms. The captain was the only person whom his respect for discipline ever allowed him 'to address without a growl ; in short, the vulgar but expressive phrase, as " sulky as a bear with a sore head," seemed made for him expressly, for in no case could it have been more justly applied. The second mate, Grinnerson, was MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 11 a gentlemanly fellow on the whole, but a most eternal wag and joker. Cadets had plainly, for many a voyage, furnished him with subjects for the exercise of his face- tious vein, and " Tom," i. e. Mr. Thomas Grundy, and myself, received diurnal roastings at his hands. If I expressed an opinion, (i Pardon me, my dear sir," he would say, with mock gravity, " but it strikes me that, being only a cadet, you can know nothing about it ; " or, " in about ten years hence, when you get your commis- sion, your opinion 'on things in general' may be valu- able." If I flew out, or the peaceable Grundy evinced a disposition to " hog his back,*' he would advise us to keep our temper, to be cool, assuring us, with dry composure, that the " cadets on the last voyage were never permitted to get into a passion." In a word, he so disturbed my self-complacency, that I long gravely debated the question with myself, whether I ought not to summon him to the lists when I got to India, there to answer for his misdeeds. As the voyage drew towards a close, however, he let off the steam of his raillery considerably, and treated us with more deference and respect ; thereby showing that he had studied human nature, and knew how to restore the equilibrium of a young man's temper, by adding to the weight in the scale of self-esteem. Our doctor and purser are the only two more connected with the ship whom I shall notice. The first, Cackleton by name, was a delicate, consumptive, superfine person, who often reminded me of the injunction, "physician, heal thyself." He ladled out the soup with infinite grace, and was quite the ladies' man. His manners, indeed, would have been gentlemanly and unexceptionable had they not been for ever pervaded by an obviously smirking consciousness on his part that they were so. As for Cheesepare, the purser, all I shall record of him is, that by a happy fortune he had dropped into the exact place for which nature and his stars appeared to have designed him. He looked like a purser spoke like a purser ate and drank like a purser and locked himself up for three or four hours per diem with 12 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. his books and ledgers like a very praiseworthy purser. Moreover, he carved for a table of thirty or forty, with exemplary patience, and possessed the happy knack of disposing of the largest quantity of meat in the smallest given quantity of time of any man I ever met with, in order to be ready for a renewed round at the mutton. Of passengers we had the usual number and variety : civilians, returning with wholesale stocks of English and continental experiences and recollections of the aristo- cratic association, &c., for Mofussil consumption ; old officers, going back to ensure their " off-reckonings " preparatory to their final "off-reckoning ;" junior part- ners in mercantile houses ; sixteenth cousins from Torres and Invernesshire obeying the spell of kindred attraction (would that we had a little more of its influence south of the Tweed ! ) ; officers to supply the wear and tear of cholera and dysentery in his (then) Majesty's regiments; matrons returning to expectant husbands, and bright- eyed spinsters to get a peep at the country nothing more ; then we had an assistant-surgeon or two, more au fait at whist than Galenicals, and the two raw, unfledged griffins to wit, Grundy and myself com- pleted the list. But of the afore- mentioned variety, I shall only select half a dozen for particular description, and as characteristic of the mass. First, there was Colonel Kilbaugh, a colonel of cavalry and ex-resident of Paugulabad, who, in spite of his high-heeled Hobys, was a diminutive figure, pompous, as little men generally are, and so anxious, apparently, to convince the world that he had a soul above his inches, that egad, sir, it was dangerous for a man above the common standard of humanity to look at him, or differ in opinion in the slightest degree. His was in truth A fiery soul, which, working out its way, Fretted the pigmy body to decay. He excelled (in his own estimation) in long stories, which he told with an extraordinary minuteness of detail. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 13 They generally began with, "Shortly after I was ap- pointed to the residency of Paugulabad," or, " The year before, or two years after, I left the residency of Paugu- labad:" in short, that was his chronological starting- point. The colonel's yarns principally (though not entirely) related to wonderful sporting exploits, and the greater the bounce the more scrupulously exact was he in the minutiae, magnanimously disregarding the terrors of cross-examination, should a seven-foot mortal venture one. " It was the largest tiger that, sir, I ever killed ; he stood 4 feet 4f inches to the top of his shoulder 4 feet 4j was it, by the bye? no, I'm wrong; 4 feet 4^. I killed him with a double Joe I got from our doctor ; I think it was the cold season before I left the residency of Paugulabad." It was one of the most amusing things in the world to see him marching up and down the poop with our Colossus of a skipper " Ossa to a wart " one little fin of a hand behind his back, and laying down the law with the other ; skipper, with an eye to future recom- mendation, very deferential of course. Next, in point of rank, was Mr, Goldmore, an ex-judge of the Sudder Dewanny Adawlut ; a man of birth and education, and an excellent sample of the distinguished service to which he belonged. His manners were kind and urbane, though he was a little peppery sometimes, particularly when I beat him at chess. He had come home a martyr to liver ; and the yellow cheek, the lack- lustre eye, and the feeble step, all told too plainly that he was returning to die. His wife, fifteen years younger than himself, exhibited beside him a striking contrast; she, " buxom, blithe, and debonnair " a vigorous plant in florid pride ; he, poor fellow, in the " sear and yellow " leaf. She was a warm-hearted, excellent creature, native goodness beaming in her eye, but had one fault, and that a prominent one. Having in India, as is often the case with the sex, been thrown much at out-stations amongst male society, she had insensibly adopted a " mannish" tone, used terms of Indian conventional slang bad in a man, but odious from female lips laughed heartily at 14 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. stories seasoned with equivoque, and sometimes told such herself with off-hand na'ivete at the cuddy-table, produc- ing a wink from Mr. Grinnerson to Ensign O'Shaugh- nessy, and an uncommon devotion to his plate on the part of Mr. Goldmore himself. Major Rantom, of the Dragoons soldierly, gentleman- like, and five-and- thirty commanded the detachment of troops, to which were attached Ensigns Gorman and O'Shaughnessy, two fine " animals/' that had recently heen caught in the mountains of Kerry ; and an ancient centurion, Capt. Marpeet, of the Native Infantry, must conclude these samples of the masculine gender. Mar- peet was a character, upon the whole a great man for short whist and Hodgson's pale ale. The Sporting Magazine, Taplin's Farriery, and Dundas's Nineteen Manoeuvres, seemed to have constituted the extent of his reading, though some conversation he one day had ahout "zubber, zeer, and pesh," and that profound work the Tota Kuhannee, seemed to indicate that he had at least entered on the flowery paths of Oriental literature. Dundas, however, was his strong point his tower of strength his one idea. Ye powers ! how amazingly convincing and fluent he was when he took that subject in hand ! Many a tough discussion would he have with the pompous little colonel, whether the right or left stood fast, &c., and who, having been a Resident, and knowing, therefore, everything, of course knew something of that also. But places aux demoiselles! make way for the spin- sters ! Let me introduce to the reader's acquaintance Miss Kitty and Miss Olivia Jenkins, Miss Maria Bal- grave, and Miss Anna Maria Sophia Dobbikins. The first two were going to their father, a general officer in the Madras Presidency ; the eldest, Kitty, was a prude, haunted by the " demon of propriety," the youngest, dear Olivia, a perfect giggle with such a pair of eyes ! but " thereby hangs a tale." Miss Maria Balgrave was consigned to a house of business in Calcutta, to be forwarded, by the first safe conveyance, up the country MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 15 to her dear friend Mrs. Kurrybhat, the lady of Ensign Kurrybhat, who had invited her out ; she was very plain, but of course possessed its usual concomitant, great amiability of temper. Miss Dobbikins was a Bath and Clifton belle, hackneyed and passe, but exhibiting the remains of a splendid face and figure; it was passing strange that so fine a creature should have attained a certain age without having entered that state which she was so well calculated to adorn, whilst doubtless many a snub-nosed thing had. gone off under her own nose. I have seen many such cases ; and it is a curious prob- lem for philosophical investigation, why those whom " every one" admires "nobody " marries. Having given these sketches of a few of my compan- ions, let me now proceed with my voyage. Leaving Deal we had to contend with contrary winds, and when off Portsmouth, they became so adverse, that the captain determined on dropping anchor, and there wait a favour- able change. In three days the wind became light, veered to the proper quarter, and our final departure was fixed for the following morning. My last evening off Portsmouth long remained impressed on my memory. Full often, in my subsequent wanderings in the silent forest or the lonely desert, in the hushed camp, or on the moon-lit rampart, where nought save the sentinel's voice broke through the silence of the night, have I pictured this last aspect of my native land. I had been engaged below, inditing letters for home and other occupations, the whole day, when, tired of the confinement, I mounted on the poop : the parting glow of a summer's evening rested on the scene a tranquillity and repose little, alas ! in consonance with the state of my feelings, once more painfully excited at the prospect of the severance from all that was dear to me. Hitherto excitement had sus- tained me, but now I felt it in its full force. land of my sires, what mortal haul Can e'er untie the filial band That knits me to thy rugged strand ? 16 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. I leant my head upon my hand, and gave myself up to sad and melancholy reflections. On one side stretched the beautiful coast of the Isle of Wight, "whilst the fast- gathering shades of evening were slowly blending into one dark mass the groves and villas of Cowes; lights from many a pleasant window streamed across the rip- pling sea lights, methought, cheering circles of happy faces, like those I lately gazed upon, but which I might never see more. Many a tall and gallant man-of-war rode ahead of us, fading in the gathering mist; boats, leaving their long, silvery tracks behind them, glided across the harbour; whilst the lights of the town, in rapid succession, broke forth as those of the day de- clined. The very tranquillity of such a scene as this, to a person in my then state of mind, by mocking, as it were, the inward grief, made it to be more deeply felt. I looked at my native shores, as a lover gazes on his mistress for the last time, till the boom of the evening gun, and the increasing darkness, warned me that it was time to go below. Calm were the elements, night's silence deep, The waves scarce murmuring, and the winds asleep. In a few days we were in the Bay of Biscay and now my troubles began. CHAPTER III. THE Bay of Biscay well merits its turbulent character; of this we soon had ample demonstration, for the Rotten- beam Castle had scarcely entered within its stormy bounds, when the wind, hitherto moderate, became rough and boisterous, and in a little time freshened almost to a gale ; the vessel began to pitch and roll the shrouds cracked the few sails set were strained almost to splitting and mountain seas with wild, foamy crests ever and anon burst over us, clearing the waist MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 17 and forecastle, and making the " good ship " quiver through every plank and timher. These sublimities were quite new to me, and produced their usual effects on the unseasoned an involuntary tribute to Old Ocean not a metrical outpouring, but one of a less spiritual quality, on which it would be superfluous to dilate. Our first day's dinner on board, with things in the state I have described i.e. the Rottenbeam Castle reel- ing and staggering like a drunken man was a most comical affair, and I should have enjoyed it extremely had my nausea been less. It is true, with some varia- tions, the scene was afterwards frequently repeated (ex- cept when sea-pie was the order of the day) ; but then, though I was no longer qualmish, it in turn had lost the master charm of novelty. We were summoned to dinner as usual, on the day in question, by the drummers and fifers or rather, to be more respectful, the " Captain's Band ;" but, from the difficulty of preserving an equili- brium, these worthies mangled the " Roast Beef of Old England" most unmercifully. The dapper little steward, with his train of subordinates, had some difficulty in traversing the deck with their savoury burthens ; unable to march as before, heads erect, like a squad of recruits, the grand purveyor, with his silver tureen in the van, they now emerged theatrically from the culinary regions advancing with slides and side-steps, like a corps de ballet now a halt, then a simultaneous run then balancing on one leg and finally (hitting the moment of an equipoise) a dart into the cuddy, where, with some little difficulty, each contrived to deposit his dish. The passengers, emerging from various doors and openings, tottering and holding on as best they might, now made their way to seats, and amidst the most abominable creaking and groaning that ever saluted my ears the operation of dinner began. In spite of sand-bags, how- ever, and all other appliances, there was no restraining the ambulatory freaks of the dishes, and we were scarcely seated when a tremendous lee-lurch sent a tureen of pea- c 18 MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. soup souse over the doctor's kerseymere waistcoat and Brummel tie ; and a roast pig, as if suddenly resuscitated and endued with a spirit of frenzy, darted from its dish, and, cantering furiously down the whole length of the tahle, finally effected a lodgment in Miss Dobbikins' lap, to the infinite dismay of that young lady, who uttering a faint shriek, hastily essayed, with Ensign O'Shaugh- nessy's assistance, to divest herself of the intrusive porker. I, for my part, was nearly overwhelmed by an involuntary embrace from the charming Miss Olivia; whilst, to add to the confusion, at this particular moment, Mr. Cadet Grundy, governed rather by sight than a due consideration of circumstances and the laws of gravitation, made a desperate lunge at one of the swinging tables, which he thought was making a most dangerous approach to the perpendicular, in order to steady it, and the immediate result was, a fearful crash of glasses and decanters, and a plentiful libation of port and sherry. " Are ye mod, sir, to do that ? " exclaimed the cap- tain, with ill- suppressed vexation at the destruction of his glasses, and forgetting his usual urbanity. "I thought they were slipping off, sir," said Grundy, with great humility. "Ye ha' slupped them off in gude airnest yeersel, sir," rejoined Captain McGuffin, unable, however, to repress a smile, in which all joined, at the idea of Grundy's extreme simplicity. "Dinna ye ken, sir, that it's the ship, and not the swing-table, that loses its pairpendicular ? Here, steward," continued he, "clare away these frogments, and put mair glasses on the table." The colloquy ended, there was a further lull, when, heave yo ho ! away went the ship on the other side ; purser jammed up against the bulk-head rolls legs and wings boiled beef, carrots, and potatoes, all racing, as if to see which would first reach the other side of the table. At this instant snap went a chair-lashing, MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 19 and the ex-resident of Paugulabad was whirled out of the cuddy door, like a thunder-bolt. " There she goes again' ! " exclaimed the second mate ; "hold on, gentlemen." The caution was well-timed, for down she went on the opposite tack ; once more, the recoil brought the colonel back again, with the force of a battering-ram, attended by an awful smash of the butler's plate-basket, and other deafening symp- toms of reaction. Oh, 'tis brave sport, a cuddy- dinner in an Indiaman, and your ship rolling gun-wales under. "By the powers, now, but this bates everything entirely," exclaimed Ensign Gorman, who, like myself, was a griff, and had never witnessed anything of the sort before. " Oh, it's nothing at all this mere child's play, to what you'll have round the Cape," observed the second mate, grinning with malice prepense. " The deuce take you, now, Grinnerson, for a Jove's comforter," rejoined the ensign, laughing; "sure if it's worse than this, it is we'll be sailing bottom upwards, and ateing our males with our heels in the air." " Oh, I assure you, it's a mere trifle this to the rolling and pitching I myself have experienced," said the little colonel, who having recovered his seat and composure, now put in his oar, unwilling to be silent when anything wonderful was on the tapis. " I remember," continued the ex-resident, picking his teeth nonchalamment (he generally picked his teeth when delivered of a bouncer), "that was let me see, about the year 1810 shortly after I resigned the residency of Paugulabad we were off Cape Lagullas, when our vessel rolled incessantly for a fortnight in the heaviest sea I ever remember to have seen ; we were half our time under water a shark actually swam through the cuddy everything went by the board live stock all washed away couldn't cook the whole time, but lived on biscuit, Bologna sausages, Bombay ducks, and so forth. To give you an idea of it c 2 20 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. the ladies will excuse me I actually wore out the seats of two pair of inexpressibles from the constant friction to which they were subjected a sort of perpetual motion no preserving the same centre of gravity for a single moment." This sally of the colonel's had an equally disturbing effect on the gravity of the cuddy party, and all langhed heartily at it. " You were badly enough off, certainly, colonel," said our wag, the second officer (with a sly wink at one of his confederates) ; *' but I think I can mention a circum- stance of the kind still more extraordinary. When I was last in the China seas, in the John Tomkins, she rolled so prodigiously after a tuffoon, that she actually wore off all the copper sheathing, and very nearly set the sea on fire by this same friction you speak of. It's strange, but as true as what you have just mentioned, colonel." " Sir," said the colonel, bristling up, for he did not at all relish the drift of this story, " you are disposed to be pleasant, sir ; facetious, sir ; but let me beg in future that you will reserve your jokes for some one else, and not exhibit your humour at my expense, or it may be unpleasant to both of us." All looked grave the affair was becoming serious the colonel was a known fire-eater, and Grinnerson, who saw he had overshot the mark, seemed a little discon- certed, but struggled to preserve his composure it was a juncture well calculated to test all the powers of im- pudence and tact of that very forward gentleman ; but, somehow or other, he did back cleverly out of the scrape, without any additional offence to the colonel's dignity, or a farther compromise of his own, and before the cloth was removed, a magnanimous challenge to Mr. Grinner- son, " to take wine," came from the colonel (who at bottom was a very worthy little man, though addicted, unfortunately, to the Ferdinand Mendez Pinto vein), and convinced us that happily no other sort of challenge MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 21 was to be apprehended. And so ended my first day's dinner in a high sea in the Bay of Biscay. Now had the moon, resplendent lamp of night, O'er heaven's pure azure shed her sacrtd light. In plain prose, it was past seven bells, and I (like Ma- homet's coffin) was swinging in the steerage, forgetful of all my cares ; whether in my dreams I was wandering once more, as in childhood's days, by the flowery margin of the silver Avon, listening to the blackbird's mellow note from the hawthorn dell lightly footing the Spanish dance in Mangeon's ball-room at Clifton or comfortably sipping a cup of bohea in the family circle at home I do not now well remember : but whatever was the nature of those sweet illusions, they were suddenly dispelled, in the dead of the night, by one of the most fearful agglo- merations of stunning sounds that ever broke the slum- bers of a cadet: groaning timbers hoarse shouts smashing crockery falling knife-boxes and the loud gurgling bubble of invading waters all at once, and with terrible discord, burst upon my astonished ear. Thinking the ship was scuttling, or, that some other (to me unknown) marine disaster was befalling her, I sprung up in a state between sleeping and waking, overbalanced my cot, and was pitched out head- foremost on the deck. Here a body of water, ancle-deep, and washing to and fro, lent a startling continuation to my apprehensions that the ship was actually in articulo immersionis. I struggled to gain my feet, knocked my naked shins against a box of saddlery of the major's, slipped and slid about on the wet and slimy deck, and finally, my feet flying from under me, came bump down on the broadest side of my person, with stunning emphasis and effect. Another effort to gain the erect position was successful, and, determined to visit the " glimpses of the moon " once more before I became food for fishes, I hurriedly and instinctively scrambled my way towards the com- panion ladder. Scarcely was I in its vicinity, and 22 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. holding on by a staunchion, when the vessel gave another profound roll, so deep that the said ladder, being ill- secured, fell over backwards, saluting the deck with a tremendous bang, followed by a second crash, and bub- bling of waters effecting a forcible entry. Paralyzed and confounded by this succession of sounds and disasters, I turned, still groping in the darkness, to seek some in- formation touching this uproar, from some one of the neighbouring sleepers. I soon lighted on a ham- mock, and tracing the mummy-case affair from the feet upwards my hands rested on a cold nose, then a rough curly pate surmounting it, whose owner, snoring with a ten-pig power, would, I verily believe, have slept on had the crash of doom been around him. " Hollo ! here," said I, giving him a shake. A grunt and a mumbled execration were all it elicited. I repeated the experiment, and having produced some symptoms of consciousness, begged earnestly to know if all I had described was an ordinary occurrence, or if we were really going to the bottom. I had now fairly roused the sleeping lion ; up he started in a terrible passion ; asked me what the deuce made me bother him with my nonsense at that time of night, and then, consigning me to a place whence no visitor is permitted to return, once more addressed himself to his slumbers. This refreshing sample of nautical philosophy, though rather startling, convinced me that I had mistaken the extent of the danger; in fact, there was none at all ; so feeling my way back to my cot, I once more, though with becoming caution, got into it, determined, sink or swim, to have my sleep out. On rising, disorder and misery, in various shapes, a wet deck and boxes displaced, met my view; I found my coat and pantaloons pleasantly saturated with sea-water, which it appeared had entered by an open port or scuttle, and that my boots had sailed away to some unknown region on a voyage of discovery. "Oh! why did I 'list?'" I exclaimed, in the bitterness of my discom- fort; "why did I ever 'list?'" Ye cadets, attend to ME&OIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 23 the moral which this narrative conveys, and learn, by my unhappy example, always to secure your toggery, high and dry, before you turn in, and to study well the infirmities of that curious pendulum balance, the cot, lest, like me, ye be suddenly decanted therefrom on the any-thing-but-downy surface of an oaken deck ! With what feelings of delight does the youth first enter upon the fairy region of the tropics, a region which Cook and Anson, and the immortal fictions of St. Pierre and De Foe, have invested in his estimation with a sweet and imperishable charm ! The very air to him is redolent of a spicy aroma, of a balmy and tranquillizing influence, whilst delicious but indefinable visions of the scenes he is about to visit of palmy groves, and painted birds, and coral isles " in the deep sea set," float before him in all those roseate hues with which the young and excited fancy loves to paint them. Paul and Virgina Eobinson Friday goats savages and monkeys ye are all for ever bound to my heart by the golden links of early association and acquaintanceship. Happy Juan Fer- nandez, too ! Atalantis of the wave Utopia of the roving imagination how oft have I longed to abide in ye, and envied Kobinson his fate honest man of goat- skins and unrivalled resources ! But one ingredient, a wife, was wanting to complete your felicity ; had you but rescued one of the Miss Fridays from the culinary fate designed for her brother, and made her your companion, you would have been the most comfortable fellow on record. Griffin as I was I partook strongly of these common but delightful feelings I have attempted to describe, and in the change of climate and objects which every week's sail brought forth, found much to interest and excite me the shoal of flying-fish, shooting like a silver shower from the ocean, and skimming lightly over the crested waves ; the gambols of the porpoise ; the capture of a shark ; fishing for bonetta off' the bowsprit ; a water- spout ; speculations on a distant sail ; her approach ; the friendly greeting ; the first and last ! were all objects 24 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. and events pleasing in themselves, but doubly so when viewed in relation to the general monotony of a life at sea. Nothing, I think, delighted me more than con- templating the gorgeous sunsets, as we approached the equator. Here, in England, that luminary is a sickly affair, but particularly so when viewed through our commonly murky atmosphere, and there may be some truth in the Italian's splenetic remark in favour of the superior warmth of the moon of his own country. But in the fervid regions of the tropics it is that we see the glorious emblem of creative power in all his pride and majesty, whether rising in his strength, "robed in flames and amber light," ruling in meridian splendour, or sinking slowly to rest on his ocean couch of gold and crimson, in softened but ineffable refulgence ; it is (but particularly in its parting aspect) an object eminently calculated to awaken the most elevated thoughts of the Creator's power, mingled with a boundless admiration for the beauty of His works. Yes, neither language, paint- ing, nor poetry, can adequately portray that most glorious of spectacles a tropical sunset. Ensign O'Shaughnessy having sworn " by all the bogs in Kerry," that he would put a brace of pistol-balls through Neptune, or Juno, or any " sa God " of them all, that should dare to lay hands upon him; and a determination to resist the initiatory process of ducking in bilge-water, and shaving with a rusty hoop, having manifested itself in other quarters, Captain McGuffin, glad of a pretext, and really apprehensive of mischief, had it intimated to the son of Saturn and his spouse, that their visit in crossing the line would be dispensed with. In so doing, it appears to me that he exercised a wise discretion ; Neptune's tomfooleries, at least when carried to their usual extent, being one of those ridiculous customs said Belfield, "you have destroyed a useful scavenger ; never kill without an adequate purpose ; if B 2 244 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. we have a right to slay, it is not in mere wantonness ; ' shoot only what you can eat ' is a good maxim." "Mr. Gernon," said Miss Belfield, "though my brother undervalues your sport, it may be some consola- tion to you to know that I do not ; I want to sketch all the curious birds and animals I see, for a very dear friend of mine at Long Somerton, who exacted a promise from me, at parting, that I would do so. Will you, therefore, bring them all on board to-morrow, the poor jackal inclu- ded, and you shall group whilst I sketch them ? " " Capital ! " said I ; " with the greatest pleasure ; and we'll have Nuncoo as the Indian huntsman in the fore- ground: we shall," I added rather wickedly, "in this little dedication to the fine arts, be working out the captain's utilitarian principle, as applied to sporting." Captain Belfield was as good as his word ; he put his double-barrelled Manton together, after a long repose apparently, in its case, where, in dust certainly, if not in ashes, it had mourned its state of inaction, mustered several of his servants, and out we sallied in the after- noon of the following day. Captain Belfield, from his perfect knowledge of the language and the people whom, I observed, he always treated with great kindness was soon able to ascertain the spot in the neighbourhood of the river where the game was to be found (there is but little, comparatively, in this part of Bengal), and which I should probably have been long in discovering; to them we accordingly went, and found hares, black partridges, and abundance of real snipes, which I perceived did not differ in the smallest degree from English ones ; and I had the su- preme felicity of bagging something more respectable than paddy-birds and snippets, which I afterwards treated with proper contempt The captain, although he had been so long on the retired list as a sportsman, fired a capital good stick nevertheless, and knocked the black partridges about, right and left, in great style ; indeed, he once or twice, MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 245 to borrow a not very delicate sporting phrase, " wiped my nose" in a very off-hand manner, proofs of his powers as a marksman with which I could have readily dispensed ; as next probably, to a smack in the face, there are few things more disagreeable than having your "nose wiped." The black partridge of India, I must inform the reader, is a beautiful bird ; its breast (i.e., the male's), glossy shining black, spangled with round and clearly denned white spots; its haunts are the long grass on the borders of jheels and marshes, from whence it creeps, in the mornings and evenings, into the neighbouring cultivation. When flushed, up he goes, as straight as a line, to a certain elevation, and then off with him, at a right angle, like a dart. He is by no means an easy shot, though, from his mode of rising, it would appear otherwise. It will be long ere I forget the thrill of pleasure I experienced when I dropped my first black partridge on this occasion, and how pompously, after ascertaining his specific gravity, I consigned him to my bag, taking him out about every five minutes, to indulge in another exami- nation. It is difficult to express the contempt with which I then viewed my quondam friends, the snippets and paddy- birds. The prodigious quantity of water-fowl to be seen on some of the shallow lakes or jheels of India, is well cal- culated to astonish the European beholder. I have seen clouds of them rise from such sheets of water, particu- larly in the upper part of the Dooab, with a sound some- times not unlike the roar of a distant park of artillery ; geese of two or three sorts ; ducks, teal, coots, saruses, and flamingoes ; the latter, however, should perhaps be excepted from the concluding part of the remark, for a string of these beautiful scarlet and flame- coloured crea- tures, floating silently in the air, or skimming, on lazy pinions, over an expanse of water, seem like a chain of fairies, or bright spirits of some Eastern tale, descending 246 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. gently to earth ; nor do I think this is an exaggerated description, as all will allow who have seen the flame- coloured cordon on the wing. Having now been put in the way of doing things according to rule, I no longer, as I have before binted, molested such ignoble birds and beasts as, in my state of innocence, I was wont to destroy. No more did I nail the unhappy snippets to the bank from my bolio window nor disturb the 'lorn cooings of the turtle-dove in her bower of mango shade, by a rattling irruption of No. 6 ; but in a steady, sportsmanlike form, accompanied by Kam- dial (who, by the way, had no sinecure of it), laden with chattah (umbrella), game-bag, and brandy-pawney bottle in leathern case, and Nuncoo, the dog-keeper, with Teazer and the bull dog, I was almost daily in the j heels and swamps, mud-larking after the ducks and snipes. The reader will think, probably, and I am not disposed to question the correctness of his opinion, that bull-dogs are not the best of the species that can be selected for snipe-shooting. Granted, I say again ; but he will be pleased to re- member that there are such disagreeable things as tigers and wild boars (and great bores they are too) to be met with in India. It therefore struck me that, in case of an unexpected rencontre with one or other of these crea- tures, the bull-dog might do good service, by making a diversion in my favour, and in concert with Teazer, attacking the enemy in flank and rear, keeping him in check, whilst I fell back on the fleet, as many a valiant and experienced general had done before me. Hector, however, though reserved for such important purposes, took no pleasure in the sport ; his heart was with the flesh pots of Whitechapel, and Nuncoo had sometimes hard work to get him through the swamps ; Teazer behaved better, and, indeed, for a dog of such very low extraction, displayed a better nose than I expected. Happy ! happy days of my griffinage ! first full swing of the gun ! none before or since have been like unto MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 247 ye ! Had I then set up for a second Mahomed, and described a paradise, snipe-shooting in a jheel would have infallibly been included amongst its most promi- nent enjoyments ! The country in this part of Bengal is a dead flat, com- posed of a rich alluvial soil, in a high state of cultivation. Rice, sugar-cane, Palma Christi, and fifty other tropical productions, flourish luxuriantly, and charm the sight by their novelty. The face of the country is covered with groves of mango, tamarind, and plantain trees, &c.; and numerous towns and villages are scattered here and there, but which, however, have little that is striking or interesting in their appearance, mud or matting being the pre- dominant materials with which they are constructed. Still the vastness of the population, the number and variety of the boats on the river, transporting up and down the rich and varied produce of India, and the diversity of the objects to be seen on the banks as you slowly glide along, are extremely pleasing. Miss Belfield, being a finished sketcher, was daily in raptures with all she saw. Full often would she summon me to the budge- row window, to look at something exceedingly pictu- resquesome glimpse, effect, or " pretty bit," as she was wont to term it, and which had awakened all her admiration. Some old and magnificent banyan tree, exhibiting a forest of shade, and whose tortuous roots, like sprawling boa-constrictors, overhung the stream; village maidens filling their water-pots beneath it, or fading like phantas- magoric figures in the deepening gloom of the receding woodland- path; or some Brahmin standing mid-leg in the water, with eye abased, and holding his sacred thread ; cattle sipping, or the huge elephant, like a mountain of Indian-rubber, half-immersed, and patiently undergoing his diurnal scrubbing and ablution. I caught all her enthusiasm, and great was the sketching and dabbling in water-colours which followed thereon. Captain Belfield possessed a far more extensive library 248 MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. than my friend Tom Eattleton, comprising many standard works on Indian history, geography, antiquities, &c.; to these, for he was no monopolist in any shape, he kindly gave me free access, and when not occupied by blazing at the snipes, or in aiding Miss Belfield in her graphic operations, I found in his library stores an ample fund of amusement. I pored over the seer ul Mutakhereen, and formed an extensive acquaintance amongst the twelve million gods of the Hindoo Pantheon. How genuine, how refreshing, by the way, is the bonhomie of the Mahomedan author of the seer ul Mutakhereen! with what grave simplicity and naivete does he relate the sayings and doings of our valiant countrymen in the early times of Anglo-Indian history ! His comparison of the red Feringhie* soldiers, firing in battle, to a long brick wall, belching forth fire and smoke, is admirable. And how excellent the story of Beebee Law, and the stern reproof administered to the fawning Asiatic parasite, the young noble at Patna, by the sturdy English commander, when the former tried to ingratiate himself by insulting his fallen enemy, the gallant Frenchman ! How striking, too, when recording these acts, the energy and astonishment with which, as if irresistibly impelled thereto, he apostrophizes the virtues of the English their high-souled contempt of death their fortitude under reverses, and moderation in success likening them to the Rustums and Noushervans of old, Asiatic types of valour and justice ; showing that there is a moral sense, an eternal standard of nobleness, which no adverse circumstances of habit, climate, and education can wholly obliterate or destroy that virtue is not wholly conventional ! And oh ! admirable Orme ! thou minute chronicler of still minuter events, ungrateful, indeed, should I deem myself, did I not here acknowledge my obligations to * European. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 249 thee ; did I not record the many pleasant hours I have spent in poring over thy pages, whilst tracing the career of thy now antiquated worthies, from Olive to Catabo- minaigue ! As we approached the classic ground of Plassey, both poetry and patriotism began to stir within me. I studied Orme's account of the battle attentively, and determined, as doubtless many had done before me, to attempt to identify the existing local features with those incidentally mentioned in the narrative of that important event, the first act of the greatest work of modern days, the con- quest, government, and civilization, by a handful of remote islanders, of one hundred millions of men ; a work, be it observed, though still progressing, which if left to liberal and practical minds, can hardly fail to be effected (though yearly increasing in difficulty), if fana- ticism on the one hand, and ultra liberalism on the other, b3 not allowed prematurely to mar it- MissBelfield expressed great veneration for the memory of the Indian hero, and begged to be allowed to accom- pany us to the scene of bis crowning exploit. " The more the merrier, my dear," said her brother, and out we all sallied to visit thrilling name " The field of Plassey." A very pleasant stroll we had, too ; but all our endea- vours to harmonize the then aspect of the country (and doubtless it is much the same now) with Orme's descrip- tion of it were utterly nugatory; hunting lodge, mango tope, and every other memorial and mark of the fight mentioned by that accurate historian, having been swept away by the river, which, since 1757, has entirely changed its course. If any future Clive should fight a battle in Bengal, decisive of the fate of India, and feel at all desirous that the field of his fame should remain intact, I would re- spectfully advise him not to come to blows within twenty good miles of the Ganges, if he can possibly avoid it, for that headlong flood, in the course of its erratic move- ments, will sooner or later be sure to sweep it away. 250 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. An example of the tortuosity of the course of the Bagheriti, and of the way in which both it and the great Ganges abandon their beds and form new ones, leaving miles of their former channels unoccupied, or formed into stagnant lakes, was afforded at, Augurdeep, a few miles from Plassey. After a long day's journey (some fifteen or sixteen miles), we observed, to our great surprise, that we had halted within a few hundred yards of the spot from whence we had set out in the morning, the masts of boats moored there being visible across a narrow neck of land, or isth- mus, connecting with the main land the peninsula we had been all day circumnavigating. This isthmus, in after years, was cut through, the river beating in full force against it, leaving, of course, a great extent of channel dry, If Olive's victory, therefore, had left no more lasting memorial than the field on which it was gained, we should know but little about it. We were disappointed at our ill success, at least Miss Belfield and I j for the captain had anticipated that matters would be as we found them. I, however, consoled myself with a determination I had formed, to raise a monument of the victory a little more durable than the one which had just disappeared. I made up my mind to compose a poem, an epic, on the conquest of Bengal ; Olive, of course, the hero, and Plassey the scene; on which, like the com- batants, I proposed to put forth all my strength. I had for some days felt the stirring of the divine afflatus within me, a sort of boiling and rioting of vast ideas ; too vast, alas ! I afterwards found, for utterance or delivery, for I stuck fast at " Immortal Olive." Two or three days more brought us to the station of Burhampore. The day before we arrived, Captain Bel- field received a letter from an old acquaintance at the station, one Colonel Heliogabalus Bluff, begging him to breakfast and dine with him on the morrow, and pass a day or two en route. The letter thus concluded : *' I hear you have your sister with you ; shall, of course, MEMOIBS OF A GBIFFIN. 251 be glad to see the Beebee Sahib too ; send herewith a dolee, which pray present to her, with my bhote b/iote salaam. "A dolly, sir," said I, in astonishment, on Captain Belfield's reading this passage ; " that's rather an odd thing to send : he supposes, I presume, that Miss Bel- field is a child." Captain Belfield was attacked with a most violent fit of laughter on my making this remark, and I saw that I had been once more unwittingly griffinizing. When he had a little recovered his composure, " Gernon," said he, "it will add, perhaps, to your astonishment when I tell you, that we intend to eat the said dolly for dinner, and shall expect you to partake of it." Saying this, he ordered the article to be brought in, when, instead of a toy, I found the dolee was a basket of fruit, flowers, and vegetables. " Who is the gentleman ? " said Miss Belfield, as we sat at tea in the evening, " from whom you had the letter this morning, and to whom we are indebted for all this fine fruit ? " " Why, Colonel Bluff," said her brother, "an old fellow- campaigner of mine, a very rough subject ; ' and though he is my friend/ as Mr. Dangle, in ' The Critic,' says, I must acknowledge, a very eccentric and far from agreeable character." /'Oh! pray describe him fully," said his sister: "I like much to have an eccentric character delineated, for, in this age of refinement, men have become so very much like one another, that a person marked by any peculiarity is as enlivening as a rock, or other bold feature, to the sight, after having been long .wearied by the monotony of a low and level landscape : do, pray, give us a sketch of him." " Well, then, the colonel is a stout, sturdy John Bull, underbred and overfed, combining with the knock-me- down bluntness of that character, as it once existed more 252 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. strongly than at present, and a double allowance of all his ordinary prejudices, the gourmanderie and frivolity which an idle life in India is too apt to engender in the very best of us. " He reverses the rule, that we ought to eat to live, for he lives to eat, and much of his time is occupied in devis- ing dishes, or superintending his farm-yard, educating his fat China pigs, and looking after his tealery, and quailery and sheep. " He has a constant supply always pouring in for him from Calcutta, of exotic and expensive luxuries beer, champagne, pine cheeses, Yorkshire hams, Perigord pies, pigs' cheeks, and the like of which he is certainly liberal enough ; for no prince can be prouder than he is when at the head of his table, making his gastronomical dis- plays ; in short, he greatly prides himself on the sur- passing excellence of his breakfasts and dinners, though those who partake of them must often, as their price, submit quietly to all his coarseness and brutality of man- ner. Folks in India do not generally trouble themselves much about English politics ; at least, not so far as to identify themselves strongly with the sects and parties which are everlastingly worrying each other at home, and who remind me of vultures and jackals here over a carcase. " Colonel Bluff is, however, an exception to the rule, and has always set himself up for a great church-and- king man, and" a violent high Tory, delighting in talking of such subjects. He is a terribly violent fellow, and when excited by a few glasses of wine, pounds the table, and makes the glasses dance again, as he denounces all Whiggery and Kadicalism. " With all his faults, however, and he has more than an ordinary share, he possesses a good deal of Miss Hannah More's standing dish, ' good-nature ' (provided he has everything his own way) ; and, indeed, but for this redeeming trait, he would be utterly unbearable." Miss Belfield said she was curious to see this singular MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 253 compound of Ion vivant and politician, a feeling in which I expressed my hearty participation. " You must be on your guard how you comport your- self before him, Gernon," said the captain, " for I assure you he shows no mercy to griffins, cutting them up right and left, when once he commences, with most unmerci- fully rough raillery." "He had better leave me alone," said I, with rather a formidable shake of the head ; " I'm not under his com- mand, you know, sir, and may give him a Rowland for his Oliver/' " You'd better not attempt it, my dear fellow," replied the captain ; " he has demolished many a stouter griffin than you are." The next morning we reached the station of Burham- pore, and a little before we brought to, I observed, ap- proaching the banks, a very stout, burly officer, followed by an orderly sepoy, whilst a bearer held a chattah, or umbrella, over his head. It was impossible to be mis- taken this must be Colonel Bluff. " Kisha budjra hyr ? " (whose boat is that ?) " Bilfil Sahib ka" (Captain Belfield's), replied a servant. " Ship ahoy ! Belfield, get up, you lazy dog/' shouted the " stout gentleman," with the voice of a Stentor. The captain ran out in his dressing-gown, and my suspicions were at once confirmed ; it was, indeed, the colonel ; and a lively greeting now passed between them. "Well, then, so you've deserted Java cut the Dutch- men, eh? and come back to the Qui-Hye's ? they seem to have used you well, though ; you aint half such alantern-jaw'd, herring gutted looking fellow as you used to be haw ! haw ! You were, I recollect, when you joined us first, ' as thin as a ha'porth o' soap after a hard day's washing.' as my father's old north country gardener used to say haw ! haw ! " " Complimentary and refined, as usual, I see, colonel ; 254 MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. I can't congratulate you on any material alteration in that respect." " Why, man, you don't expect me to compliment an old friend like you, do you ? ' with compliments cram- med/ you know the rest haw! haw! But, come, stir your stumps, man ! stir your stumps ! breakfast's all ready up yonder, and as capital a ham for you as you ever stuck your teeth in. I wait breakfast for no man, woman, or child living ; you know me of old. Talking of women, where's the Beebee ? where's sister ? she'll come, won't she? My compts Colonel Bluff's compts glad to see her ; always proud to do the honours to the ladies. But who have you got in that boat astern, Belfield ? " " Oh, it's a young friend of mine, Ensign Gernon, going to join his regiment, under our convoy and pro- tection." " Oh ! a griff, eh ! a greenhorn: hungry as a hunter, I'll be sworn ; bring him along with you, bring him along, and we'll fill him out. Rare fellows, your griffs, to play a knife and fork rare trencher-men. I'd sooner keep some of them a week than a fortnight haw! haw!" (< But colonel, had you not better take your breakfast with us? it's ready, and then we'll walk up and spend the rest of the day with you." " Breakfast with you ! No, hang me if I do : d'ye mean to insult me, sir? What ! a man, after a voyage, with hardly a shot in his locker, ask a gentleman on shore, with a Yorkshire ham on his table, to breakfast with him ! never heard such a proposal in all my life ! No, come, come along, or I must march you all up under a file of Jacks." All this, which I overheard very distinctly, and which was uttered at the top of an iron pair of lungs, was in- tended for heartiness and jocularity. No doubt there was kindness in it, and with mortals as rough as himself, it might doubtless have answered very well; but the captain, I could see, evidently winced under the inflic- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 255 tion, though hent apparently on enduring it for a season, with proper resignation. After finishing our toilets, and a few other little arrange- ments, we joined the colonel, who would take no refusal, on the bund or esplanade. Captain Bel field introduced his sister and me. The colonel, on being presented to the former, raised his hat, and made as much of a bend as the sphericity of his form would allow ; at the same time thrusting forth a leg far better adapted (to borrow the corn-law phraseology) for a "fixed duty" than the "sliding scale," with the air of a finished man of gallantry. There was something so irresistibly comic in the momentarily assumed suavity of this huge Ursa Major (or Ursa Colonel, as Paddy would say), this attempt at the easy movement of the lady's man, that I was con- strained to turn aside my head, in order to conceal a laugh. The colonel gave us a superb breakfast and it was plainly observable that his reputation as a gastronome had not been overrated. Ham, fish, jellies, butter, creams, cakes all the profusion of an Indian breakfast were severally the very best of their kinds ; moreover, Colonel Bluff gave the history of every article, telling us to lay on, and spare not, as we should not meet with any like them between that and Mr. Havell's, the provisioner's, at Dinapore. The dinner was equally remarkable for its goodness and profusion ; Chittagong fowls, as big as turkeys, were there, and a saddle of mutton cased with two inches of fat, on which the colonel gazed with as much pride as some tender parent would look on a favourite child. He had invited some eight or ten of the ladies and gentlemen of the station to meet us, and it was soon abundantly clear that the captain had drawn a most accurate sketch of his friend's character. After the former had retired, he began to let out a little more of it. Seated at the head of his table his 256 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. burly King Hal person filling his capacious arm-chair figure a little obliqued, a napkin over his knee, and the bottles in array before him, the jolly colonel looked the very personification of absolutism and animalism. "Gentlemen, fill your glasses! Church and King! and after that \vbat you will. Pass the bottle, Belfield ; fill up a bumper ; come, a brimmer ; no daylight, sir ; none of your Whiggery here ; I thought you had left all that off?" " I'll drink anything you please, colonel ; but I fear our politics are wider apart than ever." " You're not becoming a follower of that rascal Tom Paine, are you ? I know you used to dabble in all sorts of books, and were but a few degrees off it a republican, irreligious scoundrel gone to the d 1, I hope, as he deserves a fellow that had no respect for royalty, and would have upset, if he could, our holy religion, an in- fernal villain ! " " Why, you are warm, colonel," observed a middle- aged officer ; " may I ask when you took so keenly to politics ? " "Yes, you may ask," said Bluff; "but it depends upon me whether I answer you haw ! haw ! Come, fill your glass and pass the bottle, and don't ask questions haw ! haw ! haw ! " Never did I see so rough a specimen of humanity. How he talked, laughed, thumped the table, and laid down the law, in the exercise of his unenviable immunity ! An incident occurred after dinner, which displayed in a strong light the violence of Bluff's character, especially towards the natives, and his perfect disregard of the feelings of his company. As the bottles were placed before him by the apdar, or butler, a very respectable-looking bearded Mahomedan, something in their arrangement displeased our host, who, pointing with his fore-finger to one of them, exclaimed, " Yee kea ky ? " (what is this ?) The unfortunate domestic bent forward his head, MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 257 though evidently in fear, to scrutinize the damage, when he received a hack-handed hlow in the mouth from the colonel, which rung through the room, and sent him stag- gering backwards, minus his turhan, which had fallen from the shock. The man I shall never forget it stooped and picked up his turhan ; replaced it on his noble-looking head his face was livid from a sense of the insult ; he put his hand to his mouth, and looked at it, there was blood upon it. The company appeared and were disgusted ; even Bluff, I thought, seemed ashamed of himself. Well it is that these things are becoming rare ! But enough of the colonel, of whom this sketch may give as good an idea as a more elaborate description. Of such characters there were a few, and but a few, in the Indian army, and it is to be hoped their number is fast diminishing. CHAPTER XXI. WE remained the following day, and accompanied the colonel, and one or two of his officers, to a grand enter- tainment, given by the Nawaub of Bengal, at his palace of Moorshedabad, in honour of the festival of the Baira. The whole station had, I believe, received invitations, through the Governor- General's agent at the court of his highness, and a grand spectacle was expected. We left Burhampore, in a landau, in the afternoon, and after an agreeable drive through a level and wooded country, partly on the margin of a considerable lake, called the Motee Jheel, reached the city of Moorshedabad, and entering a lofty gateway, found ourselves in the enclosure or domain in which the nawaub's palace is situated. 258 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. This building is a lofty structure, in the European style, on the banks of the river, and bears the name of the Aina Mahl, which, if I am not in error, means the " Palace of Mirrors/' The whole scene was animated and striking, and par- ticularly so to me, being the first thing of the kind I had seen in India. Groups of richly-dressed Mahomedans, exhibiting a grand display of shawls, turbans and jewels ; retainers and connections of the nawaub, or dignified inhabitants of the city ; armed men, attired in the picturesque cos- tume of the native soldiery of India, with shields, swords, and matchlocks ; Abyssinian slaves, and Bengalese in their flowing muslin robes, constituted the native portion of the assembly. Amongst these were a numerous body of English officers, in their scarlet uniforms, and ladies elegantly dressed. On the terrace of the noble house, overlooking the Baghiriti, stood the nawaub and his little court, their jewels and muslins contrasting with the plain blue coat and simple garb of the Governor- General's agent and other civilians about him. Tables were laid out in the palace, profusely covered with wines and refreshments, in the European style ; old hands and griffins, fair sex and civilians, seemed all determined to enjoy themselves, and to give his nabob- ship a benefit ; to sweat his claret, as a slight off-set to the sweating his ancestors had given to ours in the Black Hole of Calcutta. In the courts or pavilions below, Pulwahns, or athletse, exhibited feats of strength ; jugglers displayed their tricks, and two or three mimics enacted the sale of a horse to an Indian Johnny Raw, a sort of Brentford tailor, as far as I was able to judge from their action, expression, and the applause they elicited from the by- standers, with great humour and effect. As night drew on, the whole place was illuminated, exhibiting a blaze of light ; the party, native and Euro- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 259 pean, were congregated on the terrace to look at the sports. A grand pyrotechnic display followed ; the rockets whiz- zed in the air, and the blue lights shed their spectral glare around. I was delighted: this is worth seeing, methought. Anon, the river was covered with countless lamps in motion on its surface, and, soon after, a fairy palace, or structure forming one mass of gorgeous light, came glid- ing down the current, passing heneath the terrace. The whole effect was beautiful and striking. I have hardly ever before or since seen anything of the kind which pleased me more. The costumes and buildings of the East, and possibly of all semi-barbarous countries, harmonize well with pageantry and spectacle ; all is in keeping, and nought appears to wound the sense of fitness and congruity. Not so, it strikes me, in our own country, where the pomp and glitter of the Middle Ages form strange patch- work with spinning-jennies and the homely toggery of our utilitarian and go-a-head times. Fancy going to a tournament by a railroad, or seeing a mailed champion riding cheek by jowl with a Kennington "'bus," or one of Barclay and Perkins's drays. If we must have splen- dour, let it be in unison with the age. The next day, having replenished our stores with several additions from the colonel's garden and farm- yard, for it would be ungrateful not to acknowledge this liberality a truly Indian virtue we once more resumed our voyage. Burhampore, like most of the great military stations of India, is intended to operate as a check on a large and important city ; not that from Moorshedabad once the capital of Bengal, a place long since sunk into compara- tive insignificance much danger is now to be appre- hended. It is the head-quarters of a brigade, partly composed of European troops. The barracks and officers' quarters are superb, and form a vast square, of which the former constitute the s 2 260 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. face farthest from the river; that nearest to it is a con- tinuous range of handsome houses and gardens, with colonnades and verandahs, occupied by civilians and superior military officers. There are also other ranges of buildings running per- pendicular to the river, partly barracks and in part officers' quarters. The whole is separated from the Baghiriti by a broad bund, or esplanade. The sepoy lines are about a mile inland, but the officers reside in the quarters, or in the fine bungalows scattered about. The scene here in the evening was very lively ; soldiers exercising in the square ; officers riding on horseback, or driving in gigs ; the band playing on the esplanade ; groups promenading; in short, I was pleased with the place, and should have had no objection to have terminated my voyage there. The morning of our departure, we were besieged by the vendors of silk piece-goods and handkerchiefs, as also of ivory toys and chessmen, for both of which this place and its neighbour, Cossim Bazar, have acquired a great reputation. Some of the chessmen shown us were large beyond any- thing of the kind I had ever seen before ; so much so, that to play with an irascible man with such ponderous and massive pieces might be unsafe. The natives of India, it appears to me, though pos- sessed of infinite perseverance and ingenuity, have no natural taste (at least, if they have any, it greatly wants cultivation) ; as respects progress in the fine arts, they appear on a par with our Anglo-Saxon ancestors at the time of the Conquest, and their sculpture, carving, and painting (and probably their music), in their leading and more marked peculiarities and defects, bear a considerable resemblance to those of such remains as we have of the olden time of England. It is, however, probable that the rude dawnings of knowledge are everywhere pretty much alike, though marked with more or less of native vigour and genius. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 261 Of perspective, proportion, &c., they know little or nothing, and of this we had amusing examples, both in the carving and some pictures which were here offered us for sale, and which latter, in the richness of their colours and gilding, brought strongly to mind the illuminations of old missals, except that, in the false perspective and utter disregard of proportion, they heat them completely, outdoing Hogarth's illustration of that ludicrous con- fusion into which an ignorance of these things is wont to lead the graphic tyro : full views at once of three sides of a square building, flat roof inclusive, visible from below ; chiefs, in gorgeous apparel, seated on carpets as large as the adjoining garden, and holding " posies to their noses;" antelopes scampering over hills somewhat smaller than themselves ; groups of figures taller than the buildings, with dislocated limbs, and legs like wooden stocking stretchers ; water reversing the laws of hydro- statics, and running up-hill, and objects increasing with the distance. Miss Belfield's critical eye was shocked by these per- formances, though otherwise amused ; and for my part, I do not think I enjoyed a heartier laugh since I was a griffin. So completely vitiated is the native eye, by being accustomed to these deformities, that the majority of Indians can often make little or nothing of a European drawing ; and I have often, in my post-griffinish days, seen one of them take a pencil sketch in his hand, turn it round about this way and that, and finally settle to its examination when upside downwards. The Hindus, in these respects, seem more deficient than the Mabomedans, though, like the ancient Egyptians, in their ghauts, temples, and other works, they exhibit the vast and minute in perfection, showing what numbers and perseverance can effect without the aid of taste. The Baghiriti, at Burhampore, narrows at the com- mencement of the cold season to a moderately broad stream, and was now fast falling, so that we were led to 262 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. suppose some difficulty in getting into the great Ganges at the point of junction, some days' journey higher up. Sometimes this part becomes absolutely impracticable for large boats, which are then obliged to effect the passage by another branch. As we approached the great river, our journey became rather one by land than by water. The river had fallen to the depth of a few inches in some parts, we were pushed by main force, by our indefatigable dandies, over sandy shallows, of miles in extent. This was a labour, however, to which they had evi- dently been accustomed, and most philosophically did they set about it : planting their backs against the broad Dutch-built stern of the budgerow, they worked us along by almost imperceptible degrees, with insufferable yelling, groaning, and grunting, varied occasionally by the mono- tony of " Tan a Tooney hy yah!" After a dos-a-dosmg it in this style for some days, we had at length the satisfaction to find ourselves fairly backed out of the scrape, and riding in the Ganges. The Ganges ! Strange were my emotions as I gazed on the broad expanse of that famed and once mysterious river, with whose name were associated so many of my early ideas of Brahmins, Gentoos, burning widows, and strange idolatries ! Alas ! the romance of the world is fast departing. Steam, commerce, and conquest, are making all things common, and soon they will leave no solitary spot on this globe of ours where the imagination may revel undisturbed amidst dim uncertainties and barbaric origin- alities. There wants but a gin-shop on Mount Ararat, or a spinning-jenny on Olympus, to complete the work of desecration. A day or two more brought us in sight of the blue mountains, or hills of Rajmahal, a great relief to the eye, after having been so long accustomed to the unvarying level of Bengal. The low lands at the foot of these hills are well stocked with game, the neighbouring jungles affording them MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. 263 secure shelter. Everything is here to be found, from the rhinoceros to the quail. Here I shot my first chikor, a splendid bird, of the partridge kind, but twice the size of ours. Accompanied by the trusty Eamdial and Nuncoo, with a few dandies whom I had pressed into my service as beaters, I sallied out one morning with the determination to make a day of it. After walking some distance inland, and to within a few miles of the hills, I found myself in an extensive, flat, marshy tract, which had evidently a short time before been covered by the periodical inundations, to the depth of eight or ten feet. This tract was covered with long coarse grass, a sort of reeds, which, having lost the support of the water, were prostrated like lain corn. Through these I was making my way, my beaters actively employed on both sides of me, when, suddenly, a noble bird rose, with a rare clatter, from under my feet ; before I could cock my gun and close an eye, he was at a good distance from me ; never- theless, being a fair mark, I fired, and dropped him. I was delighted, on picking up my sport, to find it a fine massive bird, of the partridge kind, bigger than a red grouse ; in short, as I afterwards learned from the captain, the chikor* above described. I reloaded and advanced ; and in a few moments flushed another, which I was equally fortunate in killing. Immediately after the discharge of my barrel, and whilst standing on the prostrate reeds, I heard a rustling, and felt a movement close to me. I thought it was another bird, and cocked my remaining barrel, to be ready for him ; instead, however, of a chikor, an enormous boar, caked with dried mud, and whom doubtless I had roused from a luxurious snooze, burst forth almost from under my feet, to my very great astonishment. His boarship's ear was most invitingly towards me ; I * The red- legged partridge of Kamaon is also called a chikor, but this is not the bird here meant. 264 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. had no time to reflect on the danger of provoking such an enemy, in such a place no rock, stump, or " coign of vantage/' behind which I could have evaded his charge, had he made one hut instantly poured the contents of my barrel into his acoustic organ, at the distance of two or three yards. But the fellow was almost as tough as the alligator, whose end I formerly described : the shot produced apparently not the slightest effect beyond a shake of the head and a quickening of his pace. Away he went over the country, floundering through the mud and pools in great style, Teazer, for some dis- tance, hard on his heels, but with no serious intention, I imagine, of catching such a Tartar. Had the brute resented the earwigging I gave him, as he might easily have done, a pretty little white cenotaph, on the nearest eminence, " Hie jacet Frank Gernon" and an invitation to the humane traveller to drop a tear in pass- ing, would have been the probable result. After bagging one or two more chikors, I proceeded to the foot of the hills, or rather of a spur proceeding from them, and soon found myself on the skirts of a most tigerish-looking jungle: tall yellow grass, sombre pools, with reedy margins, interspersed with irregular patches of bush and tree jungle, ramifying from the densely- wooded hills above. I would not have insured a cow there, for a couple of hours, for ninety-nine and a half per cent, of her value. I paused ere I ventured to plunge into these dreary coverts ; but my hesitation was but momentary. It is an established fact that, in love, war, or the chase, wherever danger presents itself, Griffins rush in, Where old hands fear to tread. Besides, there were Teazer and the bull, and half-a-dozen black fellows, ready picked, constituting long odds in my favour, even should a hungry tiger appear. In short, I entered, and was soon forcing my way, gun MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 265 in hand, through this most perilous locality, my heart in my mouth, and in a feverish sort of tip-toe expectation that, in a second, I might find myself hurried off, a la Munro, by the waistband of my breeches. Things stood thus, my party a little scattered, and all advancing through the reedy margin of a winding piece of water (well stocked with alligators, I had not the slightest doubt), when a shout, a yelp from Teazer, a violent rush, a glimpse of some animal, an instinctive discharge of my gun, and a huge hog-deer rolled head-over-heels at my feet; all the work of an instant, into which was com- pressed as much alarm (for verily I thought it was one of the royals) as would have served (diluted into anxiety) for seasoning six months' ordinary existence. Truly proud was I of my exploit, as the hog-deer, doubled-up, lay kicking at my feet, in the agonies of death. By a fortunate chance, I had lodged the whole charge of shot under his shoulder. Never was griffin more elated. " What will the cap- tain now say?" thought I; "no more jeers or under- valuing of my sporting qualifications after this !" My first care now, after slinging the deer, was to get out of the jungle for this successful feat had given a new relish to existence, and I felt indisposed to run more risks. His legs were soon tied ; a young tree was cut, and thrust through them ; and, supported by four men, I proceeded in triumph to my budgerow. " Well, Mr. Gernon, you have indeed been fortunate this time," said Miss Belfield. The kind captain also congratulated me on my success, but warned me against venturing on foot in such places again, as, in fact, I had really incurred considerable risk. In return, I favoured them with a detailed account of my whole day's operations. The hog- deer, being a very bulky animal, served to feast the whole crew and domestics, his throat having been cut when he fell, without which operation no Mahomedan would have touched him. We also had some collops of 266 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. the flesh, which were tolerahly good, though not to he compared to an English haunch of venison. I am not writing a book of travels, so shall touch hut lightly on the scenes and occurrences which presented themselves on our subsequent route to Dinapore, where my friends and I parted they remaining there, I, after a time, continuing my onward course to the capital of the Moguls. Hitherto, our route had lain through Bengal, a country of mud huts and inundations ; but we were now approach- ing a higher level, and one inhabited by a finer race, living in a superior climate, and where the Mahomedan spirit, which approaches nearer to our own, has imparted its more enduring traces in the shape of substantial towns, and more lasting, though still decaying monuments and edifices. Captain Belfield had excited our curiosity by his account of the ruins of Rajmahal, the some time tran- sient capital of Bengal, during the reign of the Emperor Aurungzebe, and we consequently indulged in pleasing anticipations of the rambling and sketching we were to enjoy there. It was evening when we approached that place ; the sun was setting gloriously on the Ganges as we moored our boats in a little bay near the ruins, on one horn of which stood an old grey mosque, partially hidden by tangled shrubs and jungle, and the tapering and feathery bamboo one, perhaps, of the greatest and most striking ornaments of India^i scenery. "William," said Miss Belfield, "you must positively remain here to-morrow, for I can never consent to leave all these fine old ruins unsketched behind me." Her brother willingly consented to her wish, and a delightful day of it we had, rambling, pencil in hand, amongst decaying mosques and dilapidated palaces, where the voice of the imaun, or the sounds of revelry, had long given place to the hootings of that mocker of human vanity, the owl. There are not, in the whole round of the feelings and MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 267 sensations, any to me so exquisitely, yet sadly pleasing, as those . that arise in the mind when we wander amidst the deserted courts of kings, and the monuments of departed power and glory : how strongly do they link us with the past, and how powerfully does the imagination, with such a footing, " body forth " the things that were, but are not ! Captain Belfield, who, like his sister, as I afterwards discovered, was somewhat of a poet, though in most things a matter-of-fact man, amused himself, while we were sketching, in composing the following lines : Lines on the Ruins of Rajmalial and the Palace of the Sungy Dulaun, some time the Capital of Bengal. Ye mould'ring corridors and halls, Which o'er the steep your shadows cast ; Ye ruins drear, which sad recall The faded glories of the past : Where the lone trav'ller pensive sighs, And light winds pipe at evening hour, Low blending with the lapwing's cries, The requiems of departed power : How changed your aspect, since of old Gay orient pageants filled your bound, And trumpet and Nagara* told Of regal state that reign'd around. Here Sujah,t in his happier hour, Poor victim of a brother's hate ! Enjoy'd the transient sweets of power, Bright contrast to his darker fate. Here Heav'n display'd its vengeful ire, And Meerunt felt the fatal blow ; Here fell the retributive fire, That laid the foul assassin low. Where once the minstrel's voice was heard, Now nightly sounds the jackal's yell ; There hoots the melancholy bird, Grim cynic of the darksome cell. * Nagara : royal kettle-drum. t The Sultan Sujah, brother of Aurungzebe, fled to Arracan, where he was murdered. + Meerun, the assassin of Surajah Dowlah, killed by lightning. 268 MEMOIBS OF A GKIFFIN. Within the Harem's latticed screen, Where beauty once its radiance shed, No bright eyes, save the owl's are seen The rank green jungle rears its head. A carcanet of gems the snake Lies coil'd where jewell'd beauty prest, Unwinding, seeks the tangled brake, Or fierce erects his horrid crest. Column and arch, with sculpture traced, Crush'd by the peepul's* circling folds, Like writhing Laocoon embraced, Art dies and nature empire holds. Hail, sombre fabric ! type of life Once gay and smiling, now forlorn ; Wreck of thyself, with ruin rife, Of all thy first attractions shorn. Like some volcano dead its fires Here now no more the passions rage ; Ambition, hate, or fierce desires Long past no longer conflicts wage. Sadly thou breath' st the moral old, Earth's vanities man's chequer'd lot, By seers and sages often told, In life's fierce tumults soon forgot. As o'er the mould'ring wrecks of time With silent step we pensive steal, In every land, in every clime, Oh ! say, whence spring those thoughts we feel ? Why hush'd the passions ? touch'd the heart ? What prompts us all our state to scan ? What animates each better part ? Why breathe we love and peace to man ? 'Tis that awhile withdrawn from cares Earth's cares, with strife and sorrow fraught, Sweet contemplation lowly bears Her treasures to the mint of thought. In such a frame in stilly tone Waked fancy hears these words exprest, " Oh, pilgrim ! this is not your home, Look upwards for thy place of rest." A tear trembled in Miss Belfield's eye as she read her brother's verses ; they had touched some tender chord, and the feelings they expressed were evidently in unison * Peepul (Ficu& religiosa) entwines its silvery and tortuous roots around old buildings, and hastens their destruction. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 269 with her own ; she arose and retired to her cabin, her head slightly averted, to conceal her emotion. As she passed, the captain fondly stretched out his hand towards her; she seized and pressed it it was all the commentary she made. The ruins of Rajmahal are not very extensive, nor are the buildings of any extraordinary magnitude or beauty ; nevertheless, some mosques, and two or three old gate- ways, in the Moorish style of architecture, which seems everywhere to have preserved its original character from Delhi to Morocco are highly picturesque. Captain Belfield, who was well acquainted with the place and its history, acted as our Cicerone, pointing out the most remarkable buildings ; amongst these, by far the most considerable was the palace erected by that crafty and most consummate villain Aurungzebe, of which there are some very considerable remains, halls, baths, courts, &c., also the tomb of Meerun, the assassin of Surajah Dowlah. Rajmahal was the residence and capital of the unfor- tunate Sultan Sujah, one of the brothers of Aurungzebe. The tragic end of this prince, amongst the wilds of Arra- can, is touchingly related by the accurate historian Bernier, whose history of this family is a perfect romance. The relator has traversed the wild forests in Arracan towards Myamootie, where the hapless Mogul prince is supposed to have met his fate. There are Mahomedans naturalized in Arracan, who differ in many respects from the aborigines, though they wear a similar garb. They are supposed to be descend- ants of those followers of Sultan Sujah, who escaped the massacre described by Bernier, and were retained in slavery by the Mughs. When the city of Arracan was captured by the British, the head of the Mahomedan inhabitants, singularly enough, bore the name of Sujah. The writer remembers him well, and a wily fellow he was, playing, on the approach of the army, a well-managed double game, with 2?0 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. British and Burmese, which was to benefit himself, which- ever party succeeded. Poor Sultan Sujah ! the howling forests of Arracan must have presented a melancholy contrast to the marhle halls of the palace of Aurungzehe ! Like Sebastian of Portugal (to whose fate his own bore some resemblance), he was long believed to be alive, and fondly looked for by his adherents in India, and several impostors appeared to personate him. Rajmahal has long fallen from its palmy state, and what remains of the town is ruinous, and thinly inhabited. Leaving this place, we continued our route, having the woody ranges of hills on our left, at various distances from the bank of the river. At Sicrigully, a low spur of the hills touches the Ganges, crowned at its eminence with an old mosque or tomb ; beneath is a small bungalow, for travellers, and hard by, a straggling village. Here I was gratified by the sight of a brother sports- man, in the person of an Indian hunter, or shekarri. He was a little, spare, black creature, a native of the hills (a race perfectly distinct from the people of the plains), armed with a matchlock, whilst sundry bags and pouches adorned his person. He brought a fawn and a brace of jungle fowls, which he offered for a rupee, and some English powder and shot. The jungle fowl are the domestic cock and hen in a wild state, of which there are many varieties in the East, though they are not often found in the jungles far beyond the tropics. The plumage of the cock bird is rich, varied, and beautiful, far more so than that of the civilized chanti- cleer ; the hens, however, are generally of a uniform dun or slate colour, having callow bluish wattles, and spots of the same colour around the aural orifices. These were the first I had ever seen, though I had heard them in the Sunderbunds, and was not a little surprised to learn from the captain that they were not only game, but capital shooting also, and what to many may be considered a MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. 271 still further recommendation, very good eating to boot of this, indeed, we had next day satisfactory proof. So completely, however, are the cock and hen associated with scenes of civilized life, so perfectly are the highly respectable couple identified with man and his comforts the stack and barn-yard that it is almost impossible to fancy them wild, or still more to " make game " of them. I recollect well, in after-times, the extraordinary feeling I experienced on contemplating the first jungle cock I ever shot. I had heard him sound his bugle-horn just before a plain, matter-of-fact, English cock-a-doodle-doo; and there he was, with his comb, bright red wattles, and fine, curved, drooping tail, lying dead at my feet. It required the full consideration that I was in a wild forest in India, to convince me that I had not done one of those " devilish deeds " perpetrated now and then at Tgate and 'Ampstead, by adventurous gunners from the vicinity of Bow Church. These hills of Bajmahal, with their various attractions of scenery, wild inhabitants, and peculiar productions, con- stitute a very pleasant break to what many may deem the monotony of a voyage up the Ganges in a budgerow ; for many days they presented to me successive novelties. One evening, our boats moored at a place called Peer Pointee a holy saint, OT peer, is interred on a neighbour- ing eminence and in the evening, after sundown, the captain, his sister, and myself, took a stroll, in order to pay our respects to the shrine or tomb of his holiness. To gain this, we had to ascend a low and rugged hill, on one side of which, abuut half-way up, is an old mosque, with an arcade in front, a pendant, doubtless, to the neighbouring durgah. The path was difficult, but we soon found ourselves on the spot where the holy man's ashes are enshrined. The tomb occupied the centre of a terrace, surrounded by a low wall. Lamps burnt around it, if I rightly remem- ber, and the attendant fakeer told the captain, who com- municated it to us, the legend of Peer Pointee, and the 272 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. cause which obtained him his present celebrity. The par- ticulars of the legend I have forgotten. The fakeer assured the captain, that not only was the memory of the saint venerated by man, but that it was also held in great respect by the wild beasts of the adjoin- ing jungles, particularly by the tigers, one of whom came regularly every Friday night, and swept up the floor of the durgah with his tail. It happened that the day of our visit was the very one on which the tiger was wont to perform this office ; Cap- tain Belfield told the fakeer that he had a great desire to witness it, and had some intention of sitting up for the purpose. The fakeer assured him, however, that it would be utterly useless, for the animal had such an insuperable aversion for all but true believers, that, if any other were near, he would certainly not make his appearance.* The next day we passed Puttergatta, a woody promi- nence, where there are some caves, and a pretty white Hindoo temple. I went on shore to examine them, and found Chattermohun Ghose paying his respects to a many- armed god, with goggle eyes, and a vermilion mouth, seated far back in the dim recess of a temple. I have already hinted, that I had a regard for Chatter- mohun, so I thought this a favourable opportunity for converting him to Christianity, which I forthwith set myself about to achieve, breaking ground by a few pungent sneers at his idol. I found Chattermohun, however, a doughty polemic, and did not make the impression I expected. " Master will believe what master's father and mother have teach him for true; Hindoo man do same thing. S'pose I make change, then will lose caste no one ispek to me; this very bad thing ; too much for family man." There was no making anything of him ; he was obsti- nate, so I gave him up. I must not, however, omit one little incident, which my proselytizing efforts elicited. " Master tell Hindoo religion got too many god too * A fact. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 273 much veneration for image. Master's Europe religion have plenty god too." " What do you mean, you foolish fellow ? ;> said I. ''You don't know what you are talking about. ; ' Yes, sare, I know very well. I one Europe hook got tell all about that/' To cut the matter short, Chattermohun afterwards showed me his book, which was the Eoman Pantheon, with cuts representing the deities of Olympus ! Passing the two picturesque rocks of Colgong, which stand out in the river, boldly breasting its current, we in due time reached the headland of Sultangunge, opposite to which is the romantic islet of Junghera, with its white temple and curious sculptures. Here our budgerow was boarded by two sturdy beggars, who levy contributions from all passers-by ; one of whom was the Hindoo fakeer from the rock, the other his Maho- medan vis-a-vis, of the main land, ministers of rival creeds, but agreed on that point on which we everywhere find an astonishing unanimity, the auri sacra fames. The Mahomedan fakeer was a very venerable old man, with a long beard. He was seated on a decked portion of the boat, a tiger-skin spread beneath him ; a disciple in very good case, rowing the boat. " Mr. Gernon, said Miss Belfield to me, the next morning, " the scene of yesterday has induced me to try my poetic powers. Here/' said she, handing me a manu- script ; " I have courted the Muse with somewhat more success than you did at Plassey. Pray read this, and give me your opinion." EVENING ON THE GANGES. 'Tis eve ! by Ganges palm-clad shore Now lightly sounds the dipping oar, As slow it breaks with sparkling gleam The molten silver of the stream. And list ! a song, in fitful notes, Soft o'er the tranquil current floats, 274 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. Mingling its cadence, as it dies, With the lone hunza's* mournful cries ; (Sad cries, which, wafted on the gale, Seem like some pensive spirit's wail ;) The mullah'sf song, ere, toil-oppress'd, He seeks his nook and evening rest. Afar Junghera's rocky isle, Crown'd by the tapering temple's pile. On rolls the sacred tide its course Majestic from its mountain-source, Afar in dim and mystic glades Which nought save pilgrim's foot invades, 'Midst ice-bound glens, where, cold and lone, Hiraaleh rears his snowy throne, High over realms chaotic hurled, The monarch of the mountain-world; Whilst, far away, a sheeted throng Of spectral peaks his state prolong ; Cold, death-like, mutes on high they stand, Eternal nature's pageant band. Receiving homage as it goes, Onward the mighty current flows, Dispensing, as with regal hand, Its bounteous blessings o'er the land : Type of that power whose mercies flow O'er all this wildering scene below. But ah ! too oft its noble tide By horrid sacrifices dyed, Whilst bright self-immolating pyres Shed o'er the stream their flickering fires. Now from cool groves, whose mellow shades No prying ray of light invades, The low, fond cooings of the dove Tell 'tis the hour of peace and love ; And light-winged zephyrs gently play O'er the Mimosa's quivering spray. The setting sun its parting gleam Sheds over Gunga's sacred stream, Which seems to blush as waning light Consigns her to the arms of night ; And many a mosque and idol-fane Reflect the crimson h ue of shame, Which slowly seems to ebb away The vital tide of dying day. * The hnnza, or braminy duck. They fly in couples, have a plaintive cry, and are considered emblems of constancy by the natives. They are the Mujnoon and Leila of the stream. The hunza is the ensign of the Burman, as was the eagle of the Roman empire. f milah boatman. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 275 By yon blue mountain's brow afar Now twinkles bright the evening star ; Translucent ray ! the brightest gem That decks its glittering diadem. Now deeper shades invest the shore, The weary boatman rests his oar, Glides slowly, that his eye may seek The shelter of some friendly creek. Abroad the night winds freely rove, And countless fire-flies deck the grove. Swift-winged brilliants ! gems of light ! Bright jewels -of the tropic night, Than which the diamond of the mine In richer lustre ne'er could shine ! Now sparkling forth from nook and bay, Long-scattered fires succeed the day, And round them gathering, to their meal, The dusky forms of boatmen steal, Like wizard demons of the wold, Who round a pile their orgies hold, Framing, on Scandinavian fell, Some direful charm or potent spell. The simple meal despatched, the song And merry dram the joy prolong ; Or some light jocund tale gives birth To honest bursts of simple mirth. At length, the song and story past, Silence profound succeeds at last, By every sound unbroken, save The turtle's splash or rippling wave. Thus by life's woes and cares opprest, The weary spirit sinks to rest, And ebon pall and marble tomb Invest the closing scene with gloom. But cease not thus in sombre guise. As o'er that darkling stream Another sun shall haply rise, To cheer it with its beam. So, on the soul, its chast'ning o'er, Shall burst eternal light The light that gilds that happy shore. Whose day shall know no night. A few days more brought us to Boglipore, a very beau- tiful station, surrounded by rich park-like scenery. Having visited the boiling spring of Seetacoond, to which a plentiful crop of legends is attached by the cre- 276 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. dulous natives, filled a few bottles with the water, which is remarkable for its purity, and I believe medicinal virtues (though, as I was not much of a water-fancier at that time, I rather give this on report than from actual experi- ence), we soon reached the ancient fortress of Monghyr, a place which cuts a considerable figure in Indian history, altbough more celebrated in modern times as the seat of an extensive manufactory of tea-kettles, turn-screws, toasting-forks, &c., as also of fire-arms, after European models. These guns have occasionally winged a few griffs, and have consequently a bad name, though the vendors are willing to prove tbem in your presence. Nevertheless, though dirt-cheap, they are not often bought, except by the very green. There is no enjoyment in a suspected gun, any more than in a doubtful egg. On bringing to at the ghaut, we perceived a regiment of chapmen, all eager to present their wares. One fellow carried a huge tea-kettle, another a double-barrelled gun, a third a chafing-dish and a handful of toasting-forks, a fourth a cage of beautiful green and blue birds from the hills, &c. With these gentry I drove several bargains, assisted by Kamdial, who afterwards had to fight a few stout battles on his own account for dustoorie, or customary perquisites, claimed, though unwillingly allowed, on all disbursements in India. A rare stock of valuables I had on leaving Monghyr, including three cages of birds, one of avidavats, all swept off, some time after, by a terrible epidemic, which found its way amongst them. Here I observed, for the first time, a peculiar mode of capturing the river turtle; several natives paddled a light dingy or canoe along, one standing in the prow, with a light dart or harpoon in his hand ; presently I saw a huge turtle raise his head above the water, and in an instant the harpooner flung his light weapon, having a cord attached, which reached its object with an unerring aim ; all was MEMOIKS OF A GKIFFIN. 277 now bustle, and in a few minutes I saw them haul in a turtle, which, as far as looks went, might have made an alderman's mouth water. As I am on the subject of harpooning, I may here mention a somewhat similar mode in which the natives catch the mullets. These fish, the most delicious and highly prized of the Ganges, swim in shoals in the shal- lows, with their heads partly above the surface of the water : the shape of which, by the way, and position of the large eyes, give them much the appearance of serpents indeed, the first I saw, I took for a brood of water- snakes. The dandie, or fisherman, whoever the sportsman may be, follows them in a crouching attitude, having in his hand a long light bamboo, terminating in a number of un- barbed spikes, fastened on like the head of a painting brush ; and when within striking distance, he launches this slantingly amongst the shoal, transfixing one or two fish, perhaps, whilst the rest dive or swim off, and soon re- appear with their heads as before, above the water, and slowly stemming the current. I used to watch this opera- tion with great interest, but could never make anything of it myself, though I often essayed. The fort of Monghyr is of vast extent, though the walls are now in a decayed and dilapidated state ; within the wide area are tanks, bungalows, and some fine houses on rising grounds, commanding fine views of the ruins, and the distant woods and hills, which latter here present a rather bold and serrated outline. A few days more, and we were gliding past the great Mahomedan city of Patna, and in a short time after we found ourselves moored off the military cantonment of Dinapore a second edition of Burhampore and the station of a brigade of troops, European and native. Here are two fine squares of officers' quarters and bar- racks, with numerous bungalows to the rear of them, somewhat similar in their disposition and appearance to those at Burhampore. 278 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. Here, as I before mentioned, I was destined to part with my kind and amiable companions, who were engaged to visit a friend at Patna for a month before proceeding to their ultimate destination. Our leave-taking was marked by unequivocal proofs that we had become dear to one another ; and both gave me little tokens of their remem- brance. CHAPTEE XXIT. ON the evening of my arrival at Dinapore, I was sitting on the roof of my boat, observing the dobees, or washer- men, thumping their clothes, natives cleaning their teeth with primitive tooth-brushes of stick, and other similar sights which diversify the animating scene of an Indian ghaut, when the distant and inspiring strains of a full military band broke upon my ear. " Egad ! " thought I, " there's some fun going on ; a promenade, no doubt, with all the beauty and fashion of Dinapore assembled ; I'll go and see." I ordered Ramdial to bring out tliejubba walla coortie (the laced jacket), which had never yet graced my person in any public assembly. A splendid thing it was, with a huge silver epaulet, and " tastily turned up with a brim- stone-coloured lapelle ;" I thought there could hardly be its fellow in all Dinapore. A neat white waistcoat, crim- son sash (tied in a degage knot under the fifth rib), coatee over all, hat a shade on one side, and flourishing a clean bandanna in my hand, with a sprinkling of lavender upon it, me voila y an ensign of the first water. I soon reached the scene of attraction in the principal square, and a lively scene it was. There were congre- gated groups of officers, chatting and laughing around belles seated in tonjons; others, three or four abreast, promenading backwards and forwards, hands behind them, MEMOIBS OF A GRIFFIN. 279 and examining the structure of their legs ; gigs and car- riages drawn up, their occupants attentively listening; syces walking their masters' chargers up and down; chuprassies, silver-stick men, and other native servants, mingled with the throng of sepoy orderlies and European soldiers in undress. I mingled with the crowd, and promenaded too ; hut, alas! I knew no one; and who so solitary as he who, amongst a crowd, experiences the sickening reflection that there is no one of the many assembled with whom he holds the slightest community of thought or feeling ! The shades of evening were deepening the assembly thinning ihejinale, " God save the King," was playing busy memory had awakened thoughts of those who did regard me, far, far away and I was waxing thought- ful and sad, when I suddenly heard the sound of a familiar voice. I turned, and recognized in the speaker my shipmate and brother-cadet, honest Grundy. I sprang forward to address him. God knows for it is hard to answer for that fickle and selfish thing, the human heart, which has rarely the courage to brave the " world's dread laugh," and follow its owi more generous dictates whether I should always have lone it with equal promptitude, for Grundy, in a mere fashionable sense, was not an acquaintance to be proud of; but now I stood in need of sympathy, and there are seasons when anything in the shape of a friend is acceptable when we are not fastidious, and are over- joyed to exchange greetings with aught in the shape of hummity. "Grrundy, my boy," said I, facing him, "don't you knov me?" Grundy stared vacantly for a moment, for I was con- siderably metamorphosed by my new habiliments; but soon recognizing me, his features relaxed into an expres- sioa of good-humoured delight, ' Odds life, Gernon ! is that you, man ? " said he, 280 MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. grasping my hand; "why whaur the dickens are you from?" I soon satisfied him, and he told me he was now doing duty with a regiment, at Dinapore, and lived in a bungalow not very far off. " Are you alone, Grundy ? " said I. " Alone ! " replied my friend with a sigh ; " oh, no ; there are six of us in the bungalow Griff Hall, as they call it all young hands, none of us a year in the country, and a tearing life we lead ; it does not suit me at all, though, and I mean to leave them as soon as I can get another place and a quiet man to chum wi:h. " Yes, I know your pacific habits, Grundy, and wonder how you got amongst such a set ; who and what are they ? " " Why, there's first, Mr. McScreechum, an assistant surgeon ; three infantry ensigns, besides myself, and a Lieut. Fireworker,* of artillery. I think they ire all mad, particularly the doctor, for such a man for mischief I never met with in all my born days. But, Gernon, lad, I hope you will stay for a day or two, at least," said he, slapping me on the shoulder ; " for it glads mj heart to see you again, man." I accepted Grundy's invitation, and we proceeded to Griff Hall. We found the doctor, with two or three others, on the chabootra, or terrace, of the bungalow, all laughing and joking. The former, a huge fellow, six feet two, with a freckled face and a carroty poll, in the act of compound- ing a glass of brandy- and- water. Grundy presentel me as his friend on the way to join my regiment. " Glod to see ye, sir ; glod to see ye," said the doctor, presenting me his shoulder- of-mutton hand; "we'll use you weel at Griff Hall, sir, and eeneetiate ye intoo oor Eleuseenian mesteries. What's for dinner, Larking? *' said he, turning to a slender, pale youth, in a red caniet * Sub-lieuts. of artillery, a few years ago, were called Lieut. Fre- workers : the rank is now abolished. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 281 raggie ; " what have ye got for a treat to-night ? Nae mair of your d d skeenny kid and tough goat mutton I hope. Ah ! ye'r a braw chiel to cater for a gentle- man's mess/' " I'll resign my post to you with pleasure, doctor, if not satisfied with my proceedings," replied the caterer ; " but I think things will be better to-day, for I have given Eumjohn a good trouncing for palming that stuff upon us yesterday. I'll tell you what there is, doctor, by the bye, a capital rooee muchee,* for I secured it my- self this morning." " Weell," said the doctor, " a rooee muchee's nae bad thing, if it's frash." At this moment, three more ensigns, inmates of Griff Hall, hove in sight, rattling up on tattooes, or galloways tits combining some pleasant varieties of fiddle-head, goose-rump, swish-tail, &c. In India, every one (i.e., European officer) must keep a piece of horse-flesh of some sort or other, though it must be allowed that griffins, for obvious reasons, were never remarkable for possessing superior studs. As the new-comers approached, full canter and shuffle, the doc- tor put forth a screech, compounded of an Indian war- whoop and a view halloo, by way of welcome : the fun was evidently beginning. One of the ensigns on the terrace jumped down into the road, took his hat off his head, whirled it round, and hooted loudly, to make his friends' horses bolt or shy. The doctor, too, seizing a sort of long besom which stood in an angle of the bungalow wall, darted forward with it to aid in putting the detachment to the rout. " Doctor, what the deuce are you about, man ? " shouted the immediate object of his attack ; " don't be so infernally ridiculous." " Stir him oop with the lang pole," roared the doctor, * Rooee muchee, a huge fish of the carp kind, one of the best in India. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. nothing daunted ; " stir oop the homhardier's wonderful animal." And so saying, he poked the hesom under the tail of the tattoo, who resented this rear attack hy launching out his heels, jerked off the Lieut. Fireworker's cap, and finally bolted, with his rider half- unseated, across the compound, amidst the shouts and laughter of his com- rades, the doctor, with his wild red locks flying, and his feet in slippers, pursuing him with his besom at the pas de charge. McScreechum soon returned, puffing and blowing, and flourishing his besom, and the Lieut. Fireworker shortly after joined the group, having disposed of his runaway Bucephalus, but with a countenance darkly portentous of mischief. "Dr. McScreechum," said he, "I'll thank you, sir, not to take such liberties with me in future, for I will not put up with them/' " Stir him oop with the lang pole," said the doctor, still flourishing his besom. " Others may submit to them, but I will not." "Stir him oop with the lang pole/' again replied McScreechum. All joined the medico in rallying the indignant lieu- tenant out of his wrath. The good-humoured Scotch- man brewed and presented him a glass of grog, to allay the fury of " the black dog," as he termed it. " A soft answer turneth away wrath," saith the pro- verb, and on the same principle, even a practical joke, though ever to be avoided, may be so softened by a little tact as to allay the anger which, in nine cases out of ten, it is sure to excite. All these wild doings at an end, and matters properly composed, we adjourned to the dining-room, being sum- moned by a rather dingy-looking butler, or khanseman, very much resembling the worthy who has been recorded in these pages as having so suddenly decamped with my plate-chest. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 283 Six -wall shades with oil glasses, a long table oc- cupying the centre of the room, and about as many chairs as guests, constituted the sum total of the furni- ture. In accordance with the almost universal custom of the military circles in India, camp fashion was the order of the day that is, each gentleman had his own plates, knives and forks, and glasses, with a brace of muffineers, containing pepper and salt, flanking the same ; these last, of every variety of size and shape, of glass, silver, or pewter, with a corresponding variety of patterns in the cutlery and plates, constituted as motley a show as can well be imagined. The servants, too, were of the Kum-Johnny order a dissolute, dirty set of Mahomedans, whom I have before described those usually picked up by young officers on account of their speaking the English language, a quali- fication which is pretty certain to insure their rejection by old Indians. The dingy attire and roguish looks of these fellows harmonized well with the style of the en- tertainment. The doctor took the head of the table ; the noble fra- ternity of Griff Hall and their guests were soon seated. The khanseman-jee appeared, staggering under a huge dish, which he deposited at the head of the table ; having done so, he lifted up the cover with the air of a major-domo, and there smoked the rooee muchee already mentioned. " Wha's for fesh ? " asked the doctor, plying the fish- knife with the vigour of an Irish bricklayer when hand- ling his trowel. " Wha's for fesh ? Here's a bonnie fellow ; ' a sight like this is gude for sair een,' as my old father, the provost, used to say." The rooee muchee was in great request, and other viands followed, all very good of their kind, I thought, and proving the efficacy of the rattan in some cases. Great was the talking and laughing, and the dinner sped merrily. Never has it been my lot to encounter 284 MEMOIBS OF A GRIFFIN. a more light-hearted, thoughtless, and jovial set of fellows than the inmates of Griff Hall. The cloth removed, hookhas bubbled ; the bottle passed freely, and the conversation became animated ; among other things, the scenes and flirtations at the band that evening were passed in review. " Who noticed Miss Simper, the new spin, talking to that old fellow, MacGlashum ? " said Ensign O'Toole, a young Hibernian ; " sure I hope she's not going to take that broken-winded old-fellow." " By my saul, I don't know," replied Ensign Mac Claymore; "but I think if she gets a major, and a gude Scotchman to boot, she could na do better." " Faith, I think she'd find an Irishman suit her better than an old or a young Scotchman aither : oh, an Irish- man's heart for the ladies ! " " Meaning yourself, I suppose/' retorted the High- lander, dryly ; " you Paddies think there's nought like yeer'sels in the world/' " Faith, now, I don't think we've half the consait of your Scotchmen, at all," replied O'Toole, " though a grate dale more to be proud of. Where will you find janius like that which auld Ireland has produced such poets, statesmen, and haroes ? " " Proud ! " said the other contemptuously ; " hooever may fall short in those respects, thank Gude, auld Scot- land was never conquered, never conquered, sir, as some other countries have been." " I'll tell you the reason," said the other bitterly ; " the poor beggarly country was never worth the trouble and expense of conquering." " Eh ! sir," said the young Caledonian, his eyes flash- ing fire, " what's that you say, sir ? I'll no sit here and listen to that. What do you mean, sir ? )J "Mean !" retorted the other, sternly, "just what I've said, Ensign MacClaymore, and so just make your most of it ; if you've more to add, let it be outside." Several attempts were made to check this angry dia- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 285 logue, but in vain. All was now confusion; the angry patriots half arose, and darted fierce looks at each other across the table, their more peacefully disposed neighbours endeavouring to quiet and retain them in their seats. Things were fast verging towards " war, horrid war/' Dr. McScreechuin now arose, like Satan in Pande- monium, thumped the table to engage attention, and with the' voice of a Stentor, proclaimed silence, and called the belligerents to order. " Gentlemen," said the doctor, " silence if you please, and listen to me. I am the moderator of this assembly, and by vairtue of the pooers confided to me, I proclaim pax. I'll have na quarrelling here ; doun wi' your fool- ish naytionalities ; aren't we all kintramen and brithers, as my gude old father, the provost, used to say ? You, Donald MacClayrnore, and you, Denis O'Toole, I'll fine you each a dozen of claret, and proclaim you baith ootlaws of Griff Hall, unless you shak hands, like sensible fellows ; shak hands, ye fire-eating donnard deevils ye, and then I'll gee ye a sang. ' Auld lang syne, my dear, for a' lang syne/ Wha's for a sang? " This seasonable interruption, in the doctor's peculiar way, turned the tide of war. A furious drumming on the table followed; glasses danced and jingled, and "Auld lang syne for ever ! " resounded through the hall. MacClaymore and O'Toole caught the spirit of the movement, shook hands across the table, and the glorious Scottish air broke forth splendidly, like an elegy over buried animosities. The doctor, half-seas-over, was now completely in his element ; his huge red head rolled from side to side, and one eye, half shut, leered with Bacchanalian philanthropy around the table. Thus he stood, his arms crossed, and holding the hand of each of his right and left neighbours, as he worked them up and down with a force and energy proportioned to the varying sentiments of that celebrated ditty, which has to answer for being the proximate cause of more boozing and maudlin sentimentality than any ever 286 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. written ; for oh, that potent collocation of words, " for auld lang syne," goes direct to the exile's heart, particu- larly when softened by the genial glass ; touches its ten- derest chords, and awakens, like the " Kanz de vaches/' the sweetest and most soul subduing reminiscences of youth, and all its never-to-be-forgotten associations. After this bout, anchovy toasts and broiled bones were put in requisition, Ensign O'Toole insisted upon mulling a saucepanful of port, to keep the beer and claret warm. At length, some fell asleep in their chairs ; others, in- cluding Grundy and myself, dropped off to bed, though abused by the peep-o'-day boys for our recreant qualities. Away we went, heartily tired, leaving a few choice spirits to keep it up, the doctor talking in thick and almost inarticulate tone about " Sheshero's Epeestles to Hatticus." " You may well be tired of such a life as this/' said I, next morning ; "it would kill me in a week ; how do you stand it?" " Why," replied Grundy, " I keep as clear of it as I can ; besides, it is not very often that we have quite such a jollification as we had last night ; however, the eternal racket we have does not suit me, and I shall cut it as soon as I can ; it goes against my conscience, too, to witness some of the tricks they play upon one another. One day they hanged one of the lads for fun by the punkah rope till he was black in the face ; and about a month ago sent a sub., a poor soft fellow, a voyage on the Gan- ges in an open boat ; and as he did not return for a week, it was a mercy he was not starved or drowned." " How was this, Grundy ? " said I. " Why, the doctor and the lads were always poking fun at him, and making him a boot (butt). One night, something such another as last, they made him believe he had been insoolted, and must fight. Sawney said he would rather take an apology, but they told him it was quite impossible that the affront could ever be washed out but with the blood of one of them. They said it MEMOIRS OP A GRIFFIN. 287 must be settled immediately, and went out with lanterns to the hack of the bungalow. The unfortunate lad was in a dreadful fright, but they made him fire ; the pistols were loaded with powder only, but his antagonist fell ; they said he had killed his man, and must fly immedi- ately, or, if he fell into the hands of the civil power, he would inevitably be hanged. They hurried the poor young fellow off the ghaut, put him on board a fishing- canoe, telling him to row for his life till he came to some station, one hundred miles or so down the river, where he would have a better chance of a fair trial, and must give himself up. It was about a week before he was brought back to cantonments, burnt as black as a tinker. There was a terrible kick-up about it, and well there might be, for 'twas a cruel joke. The doctor and all the parties concerned were threatened with a court-martial ; but, somehow or other, it all blew over." Pranks such as these are now, I believe, happily rare in India, as everywhere else ; but those who remember the country twenty or thirty years ago will doubtless be able to recall many such manifestations of boyish folly. It is not desirable that youth should be converted pre- maturely into thoughtful philosophy ; care, in the ordinary course of things, will come soon enough, and need not be hastened ; but I am an advocate for its buoyancies being restrained within moderate bounds, that with it fun should not be allowed to degenerate into mis- chief or cruelty, wit in vulgarity, and friendly intimacy into coarse familiarity and practical joking. We breakfasted very late, and the tenants of Griff Hall dropped in one by one en deshabille, evincing pain- ful symptoms of the previous night's debauch red eyes, trembling hand, and glued lips. One took a dose of seidlitz, another five grains of calomel, and as for appe- tite, there was none. These are a few of the early effects of intemperance ; its ultimate consequences are not so briefly described. I remained but one day more at Dinapore, which was 288 MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. partly devoted to reporting my arrival, en route to join a measure enjoined on all military voyagers, but not always attended to. I also saw the troops, European and native, at brigade exercise, &c. ; and in the evening witnessed a tattoo race officers riding their own ponies. This was a very comical affair. It was a little before sunset when Grundy, the Lieu- tenant Fireworker (who had entered his pony), and I, walked down to the course, which is situated a little behind the cantonment, being separated from it by a dry nullah,* over which there are one or two bridges. We found a great number of the inhabitants of the cantonment some in gigs, some on horseback, and others on foot assembled to witness the sport. There was a good show of ponies, some of them certainly " rum'uns" to look at, but, as was fully proved in the sequel, " devils to go." Long tails and swish tails, stumps, crops, and wall-eyes were there in perfection. The young officers who were to ride them, amongst whom I recognized more than one of the inmates of Griff Hall, marched about in their top boots and velvet hunt- ing-caps, cracking their whips with countenances ex- pressive of the full sense they entertained of the awful contest in which they were about to be engaged. Some, too, tightened their ponies' girths ; others passed their hands down their fore-legs, as if to rub out the knots and clean the back sinews ; some put their arms lovingly round their animals' necks, or gratified their love of tormenting by pinching the flanks of their steeds, and enjoying their abortive attempts to bite. Amongst this throng was a very remarkable character, -well known at Dinapore, the clerk of the course, or whatever other name properly appertains to the master of the ceremonies on such occasions. He was a little, old, sun-dried, invalid sergeant, of a meagre form, but most determined spirit. I was greatly amused by the con- sequential air of the diminutive old fellow, as he stumped * Brook. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 289 about in a rusty hunting-cap, cracking a tremendous whip, and clearing the environs of dogs, boys, and all other interlopers. The time for the race having arrived, the young men mounted, some in red jackets, some in white, and others in full jockey attire. The clerk of the course ranged them all in proper order ; eagerness was in every eye as they bent forward, impatient for the word. Ladies stood up in carriages, and many a neck was outstretched to catch a glimpse of the start : when at last a thundering " Ready," " Off," from the little mummified sergeant, and away flew the tattoos, " Punch," " Cocktail," and " Mat- o'-the-Mint," and many a nameless steed besides. Such digging, spurring, and straining; such crossing and jostling as was there ! one pushing ahead for a space, and then another passing him, and so on ! When the whole troop had got about half-way round (it was a sweepstakes, round the course), the leading pony bolted, and was followed by all the rest, entering the gates leading to a bungalow, the first of a series there commencing ; there they very deliberately drew up, where doubtless they had often drawn up before, when carrying their masters on their rounds of morning visits. Intense were the roars of laughter which issued from the spectators assembled, occasioned by this little episode. Haul, dig, pound, and spur, and they were again placed, and off but ah ! the unlucky fates ! the meridian of another bungalow entrance no sooner reached, than away with them again, follow my leader, like a flock of sheep through a gap, or a string of wild geese. I thought verily I should have died outright, and as for honest Grundy, and many of my neighbours, they stamped and roared till the tears ran down their cheeks. All this time we could see, though the distance was considerable, that the jockeys were hard at work, getting their tattoos once more under weigh through the opposite segment of road leading from the attractive bungalow, the other horn, as it might have been termed, of the dilemma. 290 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. The course regained, away they went once more : the struggle was becoming warm ; they had turned the curve, and were in a line with the winning-post; bettors were now on the qui vive " ten to one on Cocktail " the little sergeant squatting hands on knees, taking a judg- matical observation, when lo ! no sooner had they reached a certain bridge before mentioned, leading in a rectan- gular direction to cantonments, than away they sidled, and at last one and all made a fair bolt of it, right before the wind, for " home, sweet home." " Zounds ! " said the sergeant, " if they bea'nt all off agin, I'm a Dutchman." And off sure enough they were, amidst renewed peals of laughter. I doubt if any race ever produced half the amusement. " They are gone, they are gone, and never will return." This was literally the case with some ; but several of the heavy sailers managed to tack, and came in amidst the half-mad shouts of unexpected winners, proving truly that " the race is not always to the swift," and that the best-founded expectations may be unexpectedly dis- appointed. Two or three races on a smaller scale followed ; but all was flat after the unique scamper I have attempted to describe ; pleasure and excitement had expended them- selves, and were not to be renewed immediately. Under these circumstances, Grundy and I bent our steps to- wards the band, accompanied by the young artillery officer, who, having proved the winner, was in high spirits. Our dinner this evening passed off far more soberly than that of the preceding one. The doctor was evi- dently suffering from a reaction of the vital spirits, and on more than one occasion seemed disposed, like a certain old gentleman when he was sick, to be religious and sentimental. After a bottle or two of Hodgson, however, and a due proportion of claret, he rallied, and proposed a round game at loo, as a mode of passing the MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 291 evening, which was joyfully assented to by the whole party. The tables were consequently cleared, wine-glasses, c., were placed on tea-poys and side-tables, and to work we all proceeded, keeping it up till two in the morning, when I retired minus a very considerable pinch of General Capsicum's "snuff," with a firm determination to cut cards from that time for evermore : a resolution which I religiously kept till the next time temptation came in my way. At the time to which my Memoirs refer and I am not aware that any material change has since taken place gambling was unfortunately too prevalent in India, I have known nearly the whole of a small station, ladies inclusive, keep it up for weeks, alternately at each other's houses, rarely missing a day. The party would assemble after breakfast, and having distributed fish, and set pen and ink to write I O U's, would commence business in good earnest. Tiffin would constitute a break, and after being rather impatiently despatched, operations would be resumed, and continued till time for the evening's drive. After this, and dinner over, another round of this absorbing amusement would close the day. What a world of bad feeling in men, of keenness and unfeminine cupidity in women, have I seen elicited on those occasions, and what studies for the curious in physiognomy ; what expressions of various kinds have I observed in the faces of the party, when the hour drew near for inditing I O U's and settling the accounts of Dr. and Or. ; what earnest pleadings for another round on the part of the losers, and conscientiously-expressed determinations to retire to rest on the part of the winners ! Cards and dice are pests, the offspring of idleness, and the parents of vice and crime. They are the concomi- tants of semi-barbarism, and their gradual disappearance is one of the indices of advancing civilization and u 2 292 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. mental improvement. I began to think this one night after losing Us. 1,100 at hazard and double-or-quits, and the impression has continued to gain strength ever since. Next morning, after breakfast, I bade adieu to Griff Hall and honest Grundy; had my hand almost squeezed to a jelly by the good-natured son of the provost, and, repairing on board my bolio, was soon once more under weigh for the " far west." Very different, however, were the feelings which now attended my onward progression. I had lost my kind and pleasant Mentor, Captain Belfield, and his amiable maiden sister. There were no more social rambles, no more agreeable disquisitions, no more tours in search of the picturesque, no more chess. I felt how insufficient, my own thoughts were to supply the hiatus caused by their absence, and mentally ejacu- lated, as I occupied my lonely cabin at night, with poor Alexander Selkirk, " Oh, solitude, where are the charms That sages have seen in thy face ? " I cannot quit the subject of my two friends without saying a few more words regarding them. I have already stated briefly that Captain Belfield and his sister afforded a fine example of that tender attachment that perfect love and affection which should ever subsist between persons so nearly connected. They truly lived for each other, and the imparting of mutual pleasure seemed to constitute one of the highest gratifications of their lives. It was quite refreshing to observe the warmth and cordiality with which they met in the morning, as she, the picture of neatness and refined simplicity the very beau ideal of the real English gentlewoman stepped from the sleeping apartment of the budgerow, whilst he, closing his ponderous Sanscrit or Persian folio, and laying it on the breakfast- table, would rise with extended hand and a cheerful smile to greet her. Then at night, too, after the short but fervent prayer to the Father of MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 293 all, which the captain himself would offer up extempore, how attentively would he light her taper, and then with a tender salute commend her to her chamber and repose. If two or three can love in this way, I have since sometimes thought, why not all the world ? but all the world, my good griffin, are not brothers and sisters. True, true ; I had forgotten that. The more, alas ! the pity. Though, however, the hearts of the pair were thus united, there was not an equal accordance in all their sentiments and opinions. This, however, though pro- ductive of numerous discussions, never led to acrimonious disputes. They agreed to disagree. Nature had cast the brother and sister in the same mental mould, to borrow a phrenological term (which I do with respect) ; the organization was equal. The same fine sense and kindliness of disposition in both ; but circumstances had favoured in different degrees the development of their respective qualities. Benevolence, veneration, and ideality must have been large in both, though the captain had evidently been at pains to curb the vagaries of the latter. He had left his home a mere boy, with his mind almost a blank sheet, on which anything might have been inscribed. Whilst others his contemporaries plunged into idleness and dissipation, he, by some chance, flew to the solace of books. In them he studied that mystery of mysteries man, comparing, as life advanced, the living manifestations of his character with all that he found recorded of his acts; he perused the works of historians, theologians, and metaphysicians, on all sides of all questions ; and arrived at one grand conclusion, which is, that truth is a very hard thing to get at, and, like the ideal good of Goldsmith's Traveller, " allures from far, and as we follow, flies/' He certainly sought it ardently, though he could not felicitate himself, he said, exactly in having yet found the " true truth." A self-taught genius, who thought vigorously, and expressed 294 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. himself strongly, he was, no doubt, somewhat of an Utopian ; at least such I know Captain Marpeet thought him. Miss Belfield had been reared in the elegant seclusion, but subject lo the somewhat contracting influences of an English country life (nature, if I may so express it, seems to have intended nations as well as individuals to be gregarious), enjoying in her father's pretty vicarage her pets, her flowers, and the agreeable and polished society of the superior gentry of the vicinity. In the neighbouring village she dispensed her little charities, assuaged the sorrows of the poor and needy, and did all the good she could in her limited sphere ; but of the sufferings of the world on a grand scale she knew not much, and as little understood, perhaps, their real causes and remedies. High as were her qualities of heart and intellect and admirably would she write and speak on all matters on which she allowed them free scope she was not (and who is?) without a defect; hers was one frequently to be met with amongst the most amiable and estimable of our countrywomen, a gentle intolerance and quiet assumption of infallibility on those subjects on which a very little reading and reflection ought, perhaps, to convince us that we should hold our opinions with the most trembling diffidence I mean religion, and other kindred subjects relating to the powers and duties of mind, and the great interests of society, but par- ticularly the former. This would evince itself in the expression of extreme pity and commiseration for the obstinacy or delusion of those who conscientiously differed from her in such matters, she, by her manner, never seeming to entertain the smallest shade of suspicion that she herself might be in error. This spirit, partially veiled by the graces of her manner, the kindness of her heart, and the evident rectitude of her intentions, did not look so ill as the ugly monster in- tolerance generally does ; still it was her dark side, and but ill accorded with the general good sense by which she MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 295 was characterized ; her reading on these points had been as exclusive as her brother's had been general. Equally holding to certain fundamental points, they were both anxious to regenerate mankind, but were widely opposed in respect to the means to be employed for that purpose. The captain looked primarily to schools, lectures, locomotion,, and the wide diffusion of commerce and intelligence, and thought if man fell by eating of the tree of knowledge, he figuratively was destined to rise by a repetition of the act. Miss Belfield principally relied on the multiplication of churches and Sunday-schools, the extension of missionary labours, the early conversion of the Jews, and the like. He thought that religion was the first subject to which an instructed mind would direct its attention. Miss Belfield, on the contrary, considered it the very last on which, if not forced upon him, he would seek to be informed. She considered man as radically vicious, that suffering was necessary to try him, and that it was perhaps better to preach resignation to evils, than to waste time in vain attempts to diminish them materially. Her brother differed, too, in this, and thought that happiness was quite as well calculated to fit us for heaven as misery ; and that it was almost a libel on the Deity to suppose that the thanks and praises of a rejoicing heart would not be as acceptable as those emanating from one bowed down by sorrow and suffering. He thought that the evils inseparably annexed to our con- dition, such as death, sickness, and the loss of those tenderly beloved, were trials sufficient, without our unnecessarily increasing the load by fictitious ones clearly the result of our follies, contentions, and prejudices. He used to compare society, as at present constituted, to a body of undisciplined troops, composed of jarring detachments, under incompetent leaders, and amongst whom the finest military qualities and powers are neutral- ized or impaired by want of concert and organization. 296 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. "Educate your masses," he would say, "for without you do that no conceivable form of government will pro- duce happiness to the governed. Construct the finest piece of mechanism you may, on the strictest principles of art, if the material is rotten and unsound, it must give at some point the due antagonism of its springs will be destroyed, and it will not work." This diversity of views, which I have endeavoured to describe, used to give rise, as I have already stated, to numerous animated discussions. I used to listen to these collisions of intellect, during the evenings we passed together, with much interest ; and when I could see my way through the pros and cons, was wont sometimes to venture an opinion, to which the captain and his sister always listened with eagerness, as if anxious to know how the matter would strike on my young and unsophisticated mind. Some of these discussions, that is, the substance of them, I still remember, and had I space, and were this the place for them, I might here be tempted to record. Lest my reader may be inclined to think otherwise, I must here state, in justice to the good captain, now no more, that he was no leveller r he considered perfect equality as impracticable as to construct a perfect column without a base and a capital, and that the fabric of society must ever fine away to a point, but that instead of being, as at present, founded, in great part, on misery, preju- dice, indigence, and ignorance, it might be made to rest on the solid basis of virtue and happiness. His grand axiom was and he used frequently to re- peat it to his sister " If by reading, observation, and reflection, I have learnt anything respecting my fellow- creatures, it is this : that eight-tenths of their sufferings have been and are entirely of their own creation, and that it is within the powers of the human mind to dimin- ish the amount of moral and physical evil to an 'incal- culable extent. The upper classes appear to govern the world, but in reality it is the ignorance and prejudice of MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 297 the ' tyrant majority 5 which rule it. In these, the more educated find what physically Archimedes sought the fulcrum to move the world : the head is the governing part of the body, hut we all know how a disordered stomach will affect it." I had hut little more intercourse with the good captain and his sister during my stay in India, though we met now and then, and maintained an occasional correspon- dence. He, poor fellow, was never destined to revisit his native land, for after saving a small competence, and just as he was preparing to return, death, by one of its most appalling agents cholera lodged a detainer against him, and instead of enjoying the easy evening of life he had fondly anticipated amongst the scenes of his boyhood, he was destined to fill a cold tenement, six feet by two, in St. John's churchyard, Calcutta. "Tis not for me to describe Miss Belfield's feelings on this occasion ; indeed, who can describe the anguish of heart, the utter desolation, which the loss of a brother or a sister, endeared by union of sentiment and every tender association of youth, necessarily occasions ? I learnt that she almost sunk under the blow ; and a few, very few lines, which she wrote me shortly after, told forcibly the extent of her sorrows, and indicated the gratifying fact that she considered I had a right to par- ticipate in them. Well, years rolled away. I returned home, with a broken constitution, and a lack of rupees, in the English sense of the term ;* and some time after that event re- ceived the following letter : " Swines-Norton, June 10th, 18 . "My DEAR CAPTAIN GERNON, " I have for some time been aware of your return to your native land, having heard of you from mutual * This was about two years before the worthy griffin, whose autobio- graphy is here given to the public, died, as stated in the preface, of an old -stan ding liver complaint. 298 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. friends. Pray, "when your Evocations will allow of your leaving London, endeavour to visit my retirement. I have a small room in my cottage at your service, and shall enjoy great pleasure, in some respects a sorrowful one, in meeting you again, and in reviving old recollec- tions of those days when first we became acquainted. I will reserve all further communications till we meet ; in the meantime am, " My dear Captain Gernon, " Yours most truly, " A. BELFIELD." " To Brev. Capt. Gernon, "5, Peppercorn-buildings, "Pimlico." I was not long in finding out Miss Belfield's retreat. The Highflyer coach dropped me at the Bull, a foaming, rampant fellow, the only thing evincing any signs of life and animation in the small sleepy village of Swines- Norton, in shire. A few smock- frocked clowns, a bandy-legged ostler, and a recruiting-sergeant, who seemed wofully out of his element, loitered in front of the little inn as I descended. " What luggage had you, sir ?'" " Nothing but a small carpet-bag." " Come, Bill, bear a hand, and get the gentleman's bag out of the hind boot/' The bandy-legged ostler soon disengaged my property; the spruce bluff coachman clutched his reins and cracked his whip, and made the over-frisky off-leader dance a saraband. " Has Davy brought up that there black mare ? " said the landlord, sauntering out with his pipe and tankard of half-and-half. " Yes ; he's down there along o' Tom at the Black- bird." All right crack whisp a nod to the pretty chamber- maid at the window ya-hip! and away bowled the High- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 299 flyer, leaving me " alone in my glory/' saving and except the drowsy specimens of humanity afore-mentioned. " Can you tell me where a lady named Miss Belfield resides ? " " Miss Bulfield Miss Bulfield be that she, Jem, as lives furder end o' Tinker-pot-lane ? " " The lady, I mean," said I, " returned from India some years ago, and resides in something cottage, but I have forgotten the name. "All right, sir, that's she now you mentions the Heast Hinjies. I knows she've a- got a parrotkeet -jist go on to the church, and then turn to your right hand, and keep straight on as ever you can go 'til you comes to a lane; when you be at the top o' that, get over the stile and go across the footpath till you comes to the furder end o 3 the field, and then any body '11 tell you where Myrtle Cottage is/' " Thank you, my man," said I. And I forthwith set out on my voyage of discovery. It was a sweet summer's evening, glorious, tranquil, sad. I heard with delight the cuckoo's voice, the tinkle of the sheep-bell, and the cry of the jackdaws, as they sported about the burnished vane of the old weather-stained steeple. I was in no hurry, but loitered in the quiet village churchyard, where naught was moving save some two or three little ragged sheep ; and oh ! who could describe the sensations, the sadly pleasing, confused, but undefinable sensations, which crowded upon me during the little half-hour that I spent there ? Seated on an old grey tombstone, alone, and looking up at that rustic monitor, the village clock whilst the soft summer air played on my face, and soothing rural sounds fell on my ear the events of my past life, the images of friends departed all I had done and left un- donepassed like visions^dissolving views before me. Brother Indians, try sometimes, after your period of toil is o'er, the effect of a summer's musing in a rural church- yard'twill calm the perturbation of your spirits, place 300 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. things in their true lights hefore you, and act as oil on troubled waters. But, to be brief, I found Miss Belfi eld's cottage neat, modest, elegant, and retiring, just as I remembered herself. The parrot screamed in the little hall, and a very antiquated dowager of a spaniel, with an opaque eye, emitted a husky bark as I entered. " Be pleased to take a seat, sir," said the tidiest and modestest of little maids, " and my mistress will be with you immediately." I took a seat my spirits were in a flutter, almost bordering on pain. The door opened, and the hand of Miss Belfield was locked in mine. We both started a little. ''Most truly glad to see you," said she, with deep emphasis, her eyes full of tears. I placed my other hand over the one of hers which I held in ray grasp, and answered her by a soft and earnest pressure, which told how deeply I reciprocated the feeling. " Well," said she, smiling, after a pause, " I suppose we must not compliment each other on looks, for I am almost afraid to think how long it is since we parted but I hope our mutual regard has not suffered by the lapse of time." I assured her that my respect and esteem for her were as fresh as ever. Years and ill-health had given me a slight curve in the shoulders. The freshness of my com- plexion had long been converted into a delicate yellow; my hair was grey beyond the power of Macassar oil to restore, and crows' feet had dug their ineffaceable marks at the angles and corners of my face. Miss Belfield's eyes I once or twice caught resting on me, as if involuntarily for she instantly averted them on their encountering mine. She was doubtless com- paring me to my former self and exclaiming inwardly, " Oh ! what a falling off is here ! " If she was struck by my changed appearance, I was no less so with hers. Time and Care, rival ploughmen, had deeply furrowed her brow her embonpoint was gone ; MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 301 and the iron-grey locks peeped here and there through the muslin of her cap. Still, as of old, the ease, the urbanity, the refinement, and, at the same time, the sim- plicity of the gentlewoman, shone in Miss Belfield as conspicuously as ever. As we stood near the fire, and during the pause which followed the ardour of question and answer incident to a first meeting, Miss Belfield drew my attention to a por- trait over the mantelpiece ; it was that of an officer, in somewhat old-fashioned regimentals. " Do you know that ? " said she, in a subdued and choked tone, pointing to it with her finger. I did indeed ; 'twas my old friend, the good, the kind, and thoughtful captain. There he sat, serenely, with his book half- opened and resting on his knee, just as he was wont to look in days of yore, when I rattled into his budgerow, after one of my shooting excursions. " Come," said Miss Belfield, gently withdrawing me from its contemplation, " lunch awaits us in the next room, and you must require refreshment." I must reserve a more detailed account of Miss Belfield for some future part of my autobiography, that devoted to England ; let it here suffice to state, that after a week's visit to my amiable friend one characterized by every thing that was pleasing I returned to London, having first promised to repeat my visits from time to time, to draw and botanize, and talk of old times ; and settle, over a cup of Howqua's mixture, the great questions now agitating the world. But to proceed. I passed the old fort and station of Buxar, where a few invalids doze out the evening of their Indian exist- ence, and saw some European veterans, almost as black as the natives, with large mushroom hats, bobbing for fish on the banks of the river, and in due time reached Ghazepore, the station of one of H.M. regiments. Here I found my shipmate, Ensign O'Gorman. The ensign, on whom I called, received me as an Irishman and a British officer in the royal service might be sup- 302 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. posed to do. Could a volume say more for its warmth and cordiality ? I dined with him at his mess, at which urbanity, kindness, and good cheer combined their attrac- tions to render this one of the pleasantest evenings I had spent in India. Our ship adventures were discussed ; our fellow-passengers were passed in review, and we were supremely happy. "By the way," said I, rather carelessly, "have you. heard what has become of Olivia Jenkins ? " " Oh, didn't you hear she is married ? " " Married ! " I exclaimed, and a mouthful of pillaw stuck in transitu in my oesophagus, nearly producing a case of asphyxia. " Good heavens ! you don't say so ? " " Oh, it's a fact," said O'Gorman ; " but what's the mat- ter? you appear unwell." "Oh, I am quite well," said I ; " but let's take a glass of wine." I tossed off a bumper, and felt relieved. "And so little Olivia Jenkins is actually mar- ried ? Good heavens ! only think of that ! " " Why, sure," said the ensign, smiling, " there's nothing very strange in a pretty girl getting married ; but," added he, looking hard at me, and after a pause, " I suspect you were a little touched in that quarter yourself; am I not a true diviner ? " " I acknowledge it," said I ; " I did like that girl. Good heavens ! and so little Olivia Jenkins is actually married ! " The ensign pressed me to stay with him a week, but I was forced to decline his hospitality, and resumed my on- ward route the next morning. In a few days I reached Benares Kasi, the splendid the Jerusalem or Mecca of the Hindoo world. What a treat to look upon a picture of human existence, just as it probably was when Alexander the Great was a little chap ! As I glided past the swarming ghauts, where the pure- caste damsels, the high-born Hindoo maidens, of this strange and antique land, displayed their lovely forms, MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 303 and laved their raven tresses in the sacred stream ; where the holy bramin and the learned pundit, seated cross- legged, marked with ashes and pigments, pattered their Veds and Purans, I felt this in all its force ; whilst the blowing of the conch, or the tinkling of bells, announced the never-ending round of Poojah and devotion ! Here and there, the sacred Bull of Siva, and the yoni and lingam, festooned with wreaths of lotus or chumbalie, met the eye; whilst crowded boats, jingling bylies (ruths or native carriages), armed natives in the varied costumes of India (here assembling in the common centre of religious hopes and duties), with an elephant or two half-immersed, would serve to complete the foreground of this interesting picture. Behind arose, somewhat after the manner of those congregated architectural masses in Martin's pictures, though of course inferior in the boldness of their pro- portions and general taste and magnificence of the outline, the closely- wedged masses of this most curious and old-world city ; the continuity of buildings occa- sionally broken by masses of foliage, or a cuneiform temple, with its tapering bamboo and blood-red pennon. High over all, in the centre of the city, on a natural eminence, towered the celebrated mosque of Aurungzebe, with its two lofty minarets, which command a magnifi- cent prospect of the surrounding country. This mosque is erected, it is said, on the site of a Hindoo temple of great sanctity, which was previously desecrated by having the blood of a cow sprinkled over it. When the Mahomedans and Hindoos have a serious flare-up, the cows and pigs are pretty sure to suffer for it. The one is held in the highest veneration by the Hindoo, the other in utter abomination by the Moslem ; consequently, the killing of one in a mundil, and of the other in a mosque, in pursuance of the lex talionis, gene- rally constitutes the crisis of a religious dispute. Such is revenge, when passion and fanaticism are in the ascendant, and such the gusto with which, by contending 304 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. religionists, the stab is given in the most tender and vital part. Having nearly cleared the city, I landed, accompanied by Ramdial Sirdar, to take a peep at the interior of this strange place ; and strange, indeed, I found it. Streets swarming with people, and some so narrow that one of our draymen could hardly work down them, unless edgeways. Here, in the crowded chowks, waddled the huge braminy bull, poking his nose into the bunyah's grain basket, in disdainful exercise of his sanctified impunity ; whilst byraggies, fakeers, pundits, and bawl- ing mendicants, and much more, that I cannot here describe, made up a scene as curious in itself, as striking and interesting to me from its novelty. In the course of my ramble, Ramdial gave me to understand that, if I was desirous of an hummaum, or bath, after the Indian fashion, I could have one at Benares for a rupee or two, which would purify my outer man, besides being wonderfully agreeable. I had heard much of such baths in the " Arabian Nights," and in works of the like sort, and thought this a good occasion to compare facts with early impressions ; in short, I deter- mined to be parboiled, and having intimated the same to Ramdial, I departed with him and my kidmutgar, after an early dinner, to the hummaum, or Ghosul Kaneh. This was a considerable distance from my boat, in a garden, in the outskirts of the city. We entered the building, and Hamdial having explained who I was and what I wanted, an attendant of the bath showed me a small apartment, in which I was requested to disrobe. Having peeled, a pair of curwah drawers, or pajammas, were given to me, which descend about half-way down the thigh, and are tied in front with a string. All being ready, I, rather nervous, submitted myself to the guidance of an athletic native, similarly habited to myself. We passed through a narrow dark passage, and I began to look out for adventures. The slave of the MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 305 bath showed me into a little confined apartment, some ten feet by four, filled with steam, on one side of which were reservoirs of water of different temperatures, in separate compartments, about (as well as I can recollect) breast-high. Here I found another attendant, who, after sluicing a bowl or two of water over my body, laid me out on a long board, occupying the centre of the narrow apart- ment, and, aided by his. companion, commenced rubbing me with soap and pea-meal from head to foot. This over, they proceeded to rub me down slowly with Jceesahs, or rough gloves, bringing off flakes and rouleaus of cuticle and epidermis astonishing to behold. Flayed alive, they proceeded to shampoo and knead me, producing the most pleasing and grateful sensations. The strong man now bade me rise, and then and there began to play the castanets on my vertebral column, beginning at the topmost articulation; this he effected by placing his leg behind me, swinging my body gently backwards and forwards, and then by a sudden jerk, the very reverse of pleasant, producing the desired disloca- tion and its accompanying crack ; having done with the spine, he rung the changes on my toes, knees, and fingers. To effect all this, he entwined his brawny limbs about me in a most gladiatorial style, which was far from agreeable. At length, after a few more sluicings, I was given to understand that my purifications were at an end ; some- thing was then thrown over me, and I was led back to the place from whence I came. There I dressed, and never in my life experienced such a feeling of purity and buoyancy. I felt as if a new man, cleansed mentally and bodily, and ready to open a fresh account with the world. My kitmudgar, Fyz Buccas, a worthy little fellow, had not been idle or inattentive to my comforts during my absence ; for no sooner had I dressed, and was giving the last shake to a clean cambric handkerchief \hQjinale 306 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. of the toilet in India than he presented me with a cup of hot coffee, which he had prepared outside, and brought in afterwards my kalioun, which I had recently set up ; taking this then in my hand, and putting the mouth- piece between my lips, I stretched out my legs, leaned my head back, and, half-closing my eyes, immediately departed for the seventh heaven, in a cloud of odoriferous incense. The following day brought me to Sultanpore, the station of a regiment of native cavalry, about midway between Benares and Chunarghur. Here I stayed a few days with a cornet, to whom I was the bearer of a letter. There are no native cavalry lower than this in the Bengal presidency; these, consequently, with the exception of the Governor- General's body-guard (who are differently attired), were the first I had seen of that arm. On the whole, this body of black dragoons pleased me well ; their dress was French grey, buckskin breeches, and long military boots, with high blue mitre-shaped caps, terminating at the apex with a sort of hemispherical silver knob ; those of the native officers were covered with red cloth, with silver mountings. The European officers wore helmets (since changed to shakos), but in other respects were dressed like their men. Some of the troopers were tight, well-made fellows, and the native officers large, portly gentlemen ; but, if I may be allowed a pun, should say there were more Musulmans than musclemen amongst them.* Europeans in general peel much better than natives, though the latter, being generally taller and more equally- sized, look better, I think, in a body; nevertheless, amongst the sepoys are frequently found men, models of symmetry and muscular vigour, with whom few Euro- * In both the descriptions and illustrations of these volumes, the military costume of Europeans and natives will be found slightly to differ from those at present worn. For example, Hessians now rank with Hauberks and other antiques ; the shako has superseded the chimney-pot cap, and so on. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 307 peans would be able to cope. Their great degree of strength is, however, in general, artificially induced by the continued practice of gymnastics, the magdas, or clubs, and the use of the iron- stringed bow, &c. I arrived at Sultanpore during the great Mahomedan festival of the Mohurrum, and the cantonment, neigh- bouring bazaars, and villages, were resounding with firing and shouting. This festival, as is pretty well known to all in any degree acquainted with Oriental history, is held in honour of the martyrdom of Hussain and Hosein, the sons of Ali, who fell on the fatal field of Kerbela, a catastrophe beautifully told by Gibbon, and which even he, who attaches no belief to the pretensions of Mahomed, can hardly peruse without emotion. If such are the feelings of the infidel, what must be those of the believer ? The Sunni makes it a season of silent grief and humiliation, whilst the 8heahs y or fol- lowers of Ali, abandon themselves to the wildest and most passionate demonstrations of sorrow. Tazeahs, or representations of the shrine of Kerbela, of all sizes and shapes, more or less richly adorned with gilding, &c., are borne daily in procession for a period of many days, followed by crowds of the faithful, shouting " Hussain ! Hosein ! " beating their breasts, and indulg- ing the most violent semblance of grief. My friend, the cornet, drove me out one evening to witness the tumasha (sport). As we approached the spot where the greatest concourse was assembled, my ears were saluted by alternate shouts of what I was sub- sequently informed were intended for the words " Hus- sain, Hosein," but uttered by the whole mass as sharply and compactly as a well-delivered platoon fire, or the fitful escapes of steam from an engine. The English soldier, with the natural proneness of honest John Bull to effect a national assimilation where- ever he can, calls these processions " Hobson, Jobson ; " and it is but fair to allow, that " Hussain, Hosein," when x 2 308 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. shouted forth in the manner described, sound exceedingly like " Hobson, Jobson." On reaching the dense crowd, in the centre of which the tazeah, like a ship on a heaving sea, rocked to and fro, a wild scene of excitement met our view. Here were numbers of Mahomedan troopers, in their undress, many of them carrying tulwars* under their arms, with fakeers, servants, and bazaar people, all lustily lament- ing the fate of Hussain and Hosein. The tazeah had a splendidly gilded dome, and in the front of it was the figure of a strange creature, with the body of a camel, and a long tapering neck, terminating with a female face shaded by jet black ringlets ; round the neck of this creature, which I take it was intended to represent Borak, on which Mahomed made his noc- turnal journey to heaven, were strings of gold coins. All this magnificence was supplied at the expense, I was told, of a devout old begum, the left-handed wife of an invalid general at Chunar, with whom, as will ap- pear, T became subsequently acquainted. On the seventh night of the Mohurrum, it is usual to celebrate the marriage of Hussain's daughter (nothing being perfect in this world without a little love) with her cousin, a gallant partisan of the house of Ali ; Dhull Dhull too, the faithful steed of Hussain, his housings stuck full of arrows, forms a part of the pageant, and serves to create a still more lively image of the touching event which it is intended to commemorate. The Mahomedans, when worked up to a high state of religious excitement and frenzy, on these occasions, are dangerous subjects to deal with ; very little would then induce them to try the temper of their blades on the carcases of any description of infidel, Hindoo or Christian. The relator was once at Allahabad when the great Hindoo festival of the Hoolee, a sort of Saturnalia, and the Mahomedan Mohurrum unluckily fell together ; and * Scimitars. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 309 was present with the judge, Mr. Chalmers, when a depu- tation from each of the religions waited upon him in connection with the subject of the apprehended blood- shed and disturbance, in case the processions of the two should meet. The requests and the reasonings of tbe parties were highly characteristic of the genius of their resp-ective religions. The Hindoos urged, mildly, that as their an- cestors had possessed the country from time immemorial, and long before the Mahomedans came into it, they did not see why they should postpone the celebration of their religious rites,, because the former chose to take offence at them ; they disclaimed the slightest wish to insult or offend the Faithful, but contended for their right to parade the city in procession, with music, &c., as of old. The Mahomedan moollahs, on their part, urged that, as the Hindoos were kaffers and idolaters, it must be (and they put the case very feelingly to Mr. Chalmers) exceedingly galling to them if they were allowed to parade their music and processions near their mosques and tazeahs : " Betwixt the wind and their nobility." The judge endeavoured to impress upon these last reasoners that the poor Hindoos had virtually as good a right as they had to perform their religious rites in their common city ; and as for their being unbelievers, they could with equal reason return the compliment. All this, however, had no effect ; they could neither perceive the reason or justice of it, and declared their dogged determination to shut up shop and suspend pro- ceedings, unless the Hindoos were forced to postpone theirs, or remove to a distance ; to this the judge refused his assent, declaring that both parties should have equal justice, and that he would avail himself of both the civil and military power to keep the peace between them. Some time after the departure of these deputations, 310 MEMOIRS OP A GRIFFIN. information was brought that bodies of armed Mahome- dans were coming into the town and assembling at the barree, or residence of one of their principal men, a great landholder, who was considered the head of the Sunnis there. The judge immediately ordered his gig, begged me to step into it, and, accompanied by a couple of orderly horsemen, we drove to his residence, which was situated on the banks of the Jumna. It consisted of many buildings irregularly disposed through one or more courts, in which were also situated two or three small mosques. On dismounting, and entering the first enclosure, we observed many Musulmans, with heads inclined as if in profound thought, slowly moving about, and habited in long black tunics, the mourning garb of the Sunnis, with real or well-simulated looks of dejection. There wo were met by the Mahomedan chief, who appeared to deem himself insulted by the suspicion which the unex- pected visit implied. " Follow me, Sahib," said he, "and examine all the arms my place contains; you will find they are few, and only loaded with powder, and could not have been bought for the purpose you imagine." On saying this, or something to the same effect, he took us to where several rows of match-locks, rusty and dingy pieces of ordnance, were piled. The judge said he had feared that it was their intention at night to com- mence an onslaught on the Hindoos, and that be was determined to preserve the peace. The chief disclaimed any such intention, but I well recollect his concluding observation. " Our religious observance," said he, " is gum (grief), theirs is shades (uproar, literally ' a wedding'), and they ought not surely to be allowed to pass within our hear- ing ; pray consider this ; " and so forth. The result of all this was, that half a battalion and a couple of six-pounders were ordered down to the city in the evening, and occupied the chowk, or market- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 311 place, during the night. This grievously offended hoth parties, and they kept quietly within their several hounds. But for this interference, there can be little doubt that blood would have been spilt. CHAPTER XXIII. THE cornet took me with him to breakfast and dine with his friend, the old invalid general commanding at Chun- arghur. This was my first Christmas Day in India ; the weather was as cold as an English October, and I enjoyed the trip. The pretty invalid station of Chunarghur is a few miles from Sultanpore, on the opposite bank of the river ; as you approach it, the fort, crowning a lofty table rock, and abutting on the Ganges, has, with its numerous Moorish buildings and lines of circumvallation, a very striking and picturesque effect ; and its reddish hue and that of the rock contrast pleasingly with the verdant gardens and white residences of the European inhabi- tants.* The general, a hoary old Indianized veteran, gave my friend, with whom he appeared to be on intimate terms, a very hearty reception. It being Christmas Day, he had mounted his red uniform coat, which, from the hue of the lace, and other unmistakable signs, it was very clear, had been laid up in ordinary for a considerable time ; but though his upper works were European, all below indicated one who had imbibed, in the course of fifty or sixty years' service, a taste for the luxurious appliances of an Indian existence. His legs, like those of Colonel Lolsaug, were encased in voluminous pajammas y which finished off with a pair of Indian gilt slippers. * Since this period, a church has been erected at Chunar, a square tower, with pinnacles ; one of the most truly English structures I have seen abroad. 312 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. We had a capital breakfast, at which an abundance of solid cheer, interspersed with glasses of amber jelly, and garnished with evergreens and flowers, "jasmin and marigolds," produced a truly Old English effect. The old general leaned back in his easy-chair, stretched his legs on a morah, smoked his magnificent hookha, and prepared to receive a host of people waiting outside to pay their respects. In India, Christmas Day is called by the natives our " Burra Din" or great day. Our native soldiers and dependants attend in their best attire, to pay their re- spects, and present, according to their means, little nuzzurs or gifts, as tokens of good- will and fidelity. Your Kansaman brings a basket of sweetmeats ; the shepherd, a kid from the flock; the gardener, a basket of his choicest fruit, flowers, and vegetables; the bearers deck the bungalow with evergreens, or plant a young tree in front of the door, and so forth. It is a pleasing homage to master and his faith ; and altogether, with the temperature of the weather and the solidity of the fare, tends strongly to awaken bygone recollections of youth, and all the charities and endearments of our island home at that delightful and merry season. The chick, or blind, being now rolled up, a posse of venerable veteran native officers entered, exhibiting on their persons the various obsolete costumes of the Indian army of half a century back, gradually approximating from the uncouth attire of the sepoy of the olden time, with its short vandyked jangheeas, half-way down the thigh, cut-away coat, and ludicrous triangular-fronted cap, to the more perfect Europeanized dress at present worn. Each bore on his extended palm a folded-up hand- kerchief, on which lay a certain number of gold mohurs or rupees, which the old general, contrary to the usual custom in such cases, groped off, and laid beside him in a heap, having previously touched his forehead, by way of acknowledging the compliment. MEMOIRS OP A GRIFFIN. 313 Besides the pecuniary offering, many of the veterans held their swords to the general and my friend, who touched them, and then their foreheads. This pretty cus- tom is universal amongst the military of India and Persia, and is finely expressive of a soldier's fidelity and devotion. He offers you his sword ; what can he more ? After the military had entered, various civil function- aries, connected with the bazaar and garrison, and the general's domestic servants, all arrayed in their holiday attire, were ushered in, and made their salaams and gifts. The latter were set aside in the room, and formed a goodly display of oranges, pomegranates, sweet- meats, sugar-candy, &c., enough wherewith to set up the store of a general dealer in a small way. Last of all, several trays were brought in, each covered with an embroidered roomal or handkerchief; the bearers, having arranged these on the floor, withdrew the cover- ings with a grand air, as much as to say, " There ! what do you think of that ? " and a magnificent display of good things appeared. The Kansaman whispered the old general ; the old general smiled, and my friend laughed. It was a Christmas gift from Begum Sahib, his pious left-handed Moosulmanee wife, and whose funds had supplied, as I before mentioned, the magnificent tazeea at Sultanpore, Benares. Whilst its examination was going on, I thought I per- ceived a few curious eyes peeping from behind the curtain, which concealed the sanctum sanctorum of the zenan khaneh, or female apartments. After the whole party had retired, and the general and my friend had resumed their chat and their hookhas, I observed the aforesaid curtain once more on the move, and, immediately after, the figure of an old withered Indian lady, covered with a profusion of rings and jewels, with a pair of garnet-coloured trousers of formidable dimensions, and a milk-white doputta, or scarf, over her head, issued therefrom. She stood for a moment, placed her finger archly on 314 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. her lips, as a signal for my friend to be silent, and then gliding slowly towards the veteran, whose back was turned towards her, she placed her long dark slender hands, sparkling with rings, over his eyes. " Halloa ! " said the old gentleman, " who have we here ? what rogue is this ? " smiling pleasantly, and knowing all the while who it was. The old lady laughed, withdrew her hands, and stood before him. " General Sahib," said she, in Hindustanee, " I am come to make my salaam to you on your Burr a Din." She now took a chair; my friend the cornet, who evidently knew her well, made her a respectful salaam, and they held a very animated conversation together, of which, from their eyes being directed towards me ever and anon, I guessed myself to be the subject. I was a modest youth in those days, and felt a little em- barrassed at the idea of being overhauled and discussed in an "unknown tongue." The cornet said : " The Begum has been asking about you ; she says you look very young ; quite a chokra (boy), and have a very gureeb (quiet) look, though, she dares to say, you are a bit of a nut cut (roguish fellow) for all that/' " " Pray tell her," said I, " that she does me too much honour, and that I really want language to express the extent of my obligation. As for the first fault, time doubtless will correct it ; with respect to the other, you may say it is an hereditary complaint in our family." The cornet explained, or tried to explain ; the old lady laughed, nodded her head, and said it was " burra taiz bhat" (a very smart reply). She now retired to her apartment, after a fresh round of salaaming between her and the cornet. " I thought," said I, when she had gone, " that it was not usual for native ladies to exhibit themselves in that way." " Nor is it/' said he, " generally ; but age and other MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 315 circumstances lead to exceptions in this as well as in everything else. Besides," added he, " though the old lady is both rich and devout, she does not, of course, hold a foremost place in native estimation/' The general, who had left us for a few moments, now returned, and after some little conversation, of which she was the subject, being spoken of in a laudatory strain, " Well, now/' said he, as if he had been revolving the matter deeply, " I don't know, but I consider that old woman as much my wife as if we had had a page of Hamilton Moore read over to us. My faithful compan- ion for forty years, and the mother of my children ! " " But," said the cornet, " your friend the Padre, you recollect, when he was passing, took dire offence at her making her appearance one day when he was here ; do you recollect that, general ? You had quite a scene." The general here emitted a panegyrical effusion touch- ing the whole clerical body, and the scrupulous Padre in particular, which, however, I will not repeat. After tiffin, the general, the cornet, and myself, went out to visit the fort and the neighbourhood, which I had a desire to see ; the former, being old and infirm, rode in his tonjon (a sort of chair-palankeen) ; my friend and I were on horseback. The fort of Chunarghur, to which we ascended from the town side by a somewhat steep road, occupies the summit of a table rock, some hundred feet above the surrounding country, and terminating abruptly on the river side. A strong wall, defended by numerous towers, runs round the edge, and the interior contains modern ranges of barracks, magazines, &c., and some fine masses of old buildings, in the Moorish style of architecture, characterized by the cupolas, horseshoe arch, &c. The views on all sides are extensive and interesting : on the one, you look down upon the roofs of the closely-built native town, its temples and intermingled foliage, and tall bamboo pigeon-stands, with the white 316 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. houses and luxuriant gardens of the adjacent station, the broad Ganges skirting the verdant slopes in front, and stretching away through many a sandy reach to- wards Benares ; on the opposite side, above the fort, a rich and cultivated country, waving with crops, adorned with mango groves, and dotted here and there with old mosques or tombs, extends far in the distance, traversed by bold sweeps of the river, which, sprinkled with many a white sail, or strings of heavy boats, advancing with snail-like pace against the current, glistens brightly below. The general pointed out to me the particular part of the wall where we made our unsuccessful assault in the year 1764, with some other lions of the place; after which we left the fort by another gateway, and a some- what zigzag descent, on the opposite side to that on which we had entered. In passing a guard of invalids, however, before emerg- ing, I was highly entertained to see the old veterans, who were rather taken by surprise, hobbling out from their pipes and repose in a mighty pother, to present arms to the general, which they managed to effect before he had left them far behind, with a most picturesque irregularity. Chunar, some thirty or forty years before the period to which I am adverting, had been, I believe, one of our principal frontier stations, and the head-quarters of a division, though then, as now, scarcely occupying a cen- tral point in the immense line of the British dominions on this side of India. The cantonments of this large force were situated on the plain last noticed, above the fort, and present small station, though almost every trace of it has long disappeared, at least of the abodes of the living, for the mansions of the dead still remain nearly in statu quo to tell their pensive tale. We paid a visit to this now remote and forgotten bury- ing ground (or rather to one of them, for there are two) a mile or two beyond the fort ; and I confess, albeit a MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 317 juvenile, that I was touched at the sight of these lonely mementoes of the fact, that a bustling military canton- ment, of which hardly a vestige remains, once occupied the immediate vicinity. How changed is now the scene from what it was in the qui hye days of our fathers ! The clang of the trumpet, the roll of the drum, and the gleaming ranks, have long given place to more peaceful sounds and sights ; the creak of the well-wheel, and the song of the ryot, as he irrigates his fields, supply the place of the former. Grain now waves where troops once manoeuvred, whilst the light airs of the Ganges pipe, amidst the white mau- soleums, the dirges of those who " sleep well " heneath, many of the once gay inhabitants of the scene : " Ah ! sweetly they slumber, nor hope, love, nor fear ; Peace, peace is the watchword the only one here." There are few things which address themselves more strongly to the feelings than the sight of the tombs of our countrymen in a far distant land. In the ceme- tery to which I am referring, now rarely visited, it being out of the track of travellers, where grass and jungle are fast encroaching, and time and the elements are pursuing their silent dilapidations, many a Briton many a long forgotten Johnson and Thompson quietly repose, far from the hearths of their fathers. I have since more than once visited this and similar places, which may be compared to wrecks which the on- ward flow of our advancing power leaves behind it, and as I have stood and mused amongst them, have pleased myself by indulging in dreamy speculations touching the histories of the surrounding sleepers (for all have their little histories), of all their hopes, fears, and cares, here for ever laid at rest. We extended our excursion to some distance beyond the cemetery, and visited the mausoleum of a Mahome- dan prince or saint, the history of which I have forgotten. I have now only a faint remembrance of its mosaic and 318 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. lattice-work its inlaid scrolls from the Koran the sar- cophagus covered with an embroidered carpet, the lamps around, and the ostrich eggs suspended from the vaulted roof. On returning home to the old general's house, rather late, we found two or three of his friends, invalid officers of the garrison, assembled to do justice to his roast beef and other Christmas fare. A very social party we had ; the general " shouldered his crutch," and the invalid guests gave us plenty of Indian legendary lore ; all hearts expanded under the influence of good cheer, and a couple of bottles of "Simkin Shrob " (Champagne), which the general produced as if it had been so much liquid gold, reserved for high days and holidays. A glass or two of champagne is your grand specific for giving the blue devils their quietus, and liberating those light and joyous spirits which wave their sparkling wings over the early wine-cup and the genial board ; but, like other ephemerae, soon pass away, drowned, per- haps, like flies, in the liquid from whence they spring, leaving but a pleasing remembrance of their having once existed. The next morning, after breakfast, the cornet and I rode back to Sultanpore, and in a few days I bade him adieu, and in a short time found myself sound in wind and limb, but quite out of rootle mackun (" bread and butter"), and other river stores, in sight of the far-famed fortress of Allahabad, at the confluence of the Jumna and Ganges. The view of this fortress, with its lofty walls and nu- merous towers, is, as you approach it, very striking ; one sees few such imposing masses in England ; and as for our feudal castles, few of them are much bigger than the gateways of such places as I am describing. The fort which occupies the point where these two famous rivers meet, though perfectly Oriental in its general character, has been " pointed," and strengthened in accordance with the principles of European fortifica- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 319 tion, particularly on the land side. It is impregnable to a native force, and one of the principal depots of the Upper Provinces. This, as is well known, is one of the Prayagas, or places of Hindoo pilgrimage. During the great Melah, or fair, which subsequently it was often my lot to witness, the concourse of people who assemble here from all parts of the Hindoo world, from the Straits of Manaar to the mountains of Thibet, is prodigious. The sands below the fort exhibit, on that occasion, a sea of heads, intersected by lines of booths, and here and there an elephant or a camel towering above the congregated mass. The point where the all-important regenerating dip is effected, is covered by the many-coloured standards of the Brahmins and Fakeers, looking at a distance like a dahlia show, or a gaudy-coloured bed of tulips. In crossing over to the fort, in my bolio, I was forcibly struck by the very different appearance in the water of the two streams. The one, the Jumna, deep, blue, and pure; the other, the Ganges, yellow and turbid. It was curious to observe them blending in many a whirlpool and eddy the flaky wreaths of the dirty old " Gunga- Jee " infusing themselves into the transparent element of the sister river. Here I laid in a store of eggs, bread, poultry, mutton, and the like of the latter I purchased a magnificent hind- quarter from a bazaar kussai, or butcher, who came staggering on board with it, patting and attitudin- izing it, and after pointing out its incomparable beauties, its masses of fat, and the fine colour of the lean, &c., let me have it for four rupees, just three rupees eight annas more than it was worth. A few days brought me to Currah Munickpoor, where I found a sub, on solitary outpost duty, who looked upon my arrival as an agreeable break to the monotony of his life a perfect Godsend and treated me with uncommon hospitality. I found him a very pleasant fellow, and his manner of life smoking, eating, shoot- 320 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. ing, &c. so much to my taste, that it did not require any very urgent solicitation on his part to induce me to spend two or three days with him. I dined with him at his bungalow, some short distance inland, on the first day, when he showed me the objects worthy of notice in the neighbourhood, and thinking this a good opportunity to dress my hind-quarter of mutton, I invited him to partake of it next day, on board my bolio. My acquaintance was a " mighty hunter," as most young Indian officers are. He shot, fished, and kept a pack of mongrels, and a greyhound or two, with which he hunted the hare, fox, and jackal ; he was also a great adept in the use of the pellet-bow, in the mode of discharging which he obligingly gave me some lessons. I am not aware whether this sort of bow is known in Europe or not. If it were as generally made use of amongst boys in England as by young men in India, we should certainly have a fearful number of blind and one-eyed gentry amongst the population. This bow is generally made of a split bamboo, which, being highly elastic, renders it peculiarly adapted to the purpose; it has two strings of catgut, which, at about a foot from one extremity, are kept separate by a small piece of stick, about an inch and a half in length, the ends ingeniously secured between the strands of the string; immediately opposite to that part of the bow grasped by the hand, and which is well padded, there is a small piece of leather, about two square inches in size, sewn to the two strings, and presenting its flat surface to the handle; in this a pellet of hard, dried clay is placed, and being seized by the thumb and forefinger of the right hand, is then discharged at the object The great danger of the tyro is that of striking the thumb of the left hand, within an inch or two of which the ball must always pass, though by the practised bowman a collision is always avoided by giving the wrist MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. 321 a peculiar turn or twist. The force with which the ball goes, when thus propelled, is surprising; and un- common accuracy in striking an object may be in time acquired by a due regulation of the hands and eye. I have brought down with the pellet-bow pigeons and kites, when on the wing, from a great height, and cut off the heads of doves and sparrows sometimes as completely as if it had been done with a koife. As my friend and I strolled in the tamarind grove, near to which my boat was moored, he exhibited his skill upon the squirrels and paroquets, much to my astonishment. " Will you let me have a shot ? " said I, eagerly. " Certainly ; but have you ever attempted it before ? " " Never," I replied ; " but there appears to be no difficulty in it whatever." " Tis far more difficult than you imagine," he replied ; "it was months before I got into the way of it; here," he continued, " if you are determined, you must. Now, twist your wrist thus, or you will infallibly hit your thumb : there, so ! " "Oh! I see/' said I; and immediately seized the bow. A dove sat invitingly on a neighbouring bough ; I gave a long pull and a strong pull, and, och ! hit my thumb a whack that bared it to the bone. Away I tossed the pellet-bow to the distance of about twenty yards, thrust the mutilated member into my mouth, and immediately fell to dancing something very like Jim Crow. In a little time the agony subsided ; I had swathed the ex-member in fine linen, when Fyz Buccas came to summon us to dinner. " Come along, sir," said I ; " I hope you can dine off a hind-quarter of mutton and a Bombay pudding." " Nothing can be better," said he ; " but where did you get your meat ? " "I bought it of a bazaar fellow at Allahabad, and a splendid joint it is." Y 322 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. My companion, more experienced in the tricks of India than myself, smiled incredulously, and then looked a little grave. " I hope they have not given you a made-up article." " Made-up ! " said I ; " I don't understand you." " Why," he replied, " these bazaar rascals stuff and blow up their meat, and use half a dozen other different ways of taking in the unwary passenger." " Ton my life," said I, " you frighten me ; if this my best bower fails, we shall go plump on the rocks of short commons, that's certain." " Oh, never mind," said he ; " at the worst, my place is not far off, and there is abundance of prog there ; besides, I can eat bazaar mutton, or goat, or anything else at a pinch, particularly if there is a good glass of Hodgson to wash it down." This dialogue was cut short by the entry of the mutton ; it certainly did not look as respectable mutton should look. I seized the carver, eager to know the worst, and gave a cut ; the murder was out, and so was the wind ; the unhappy mutton falling into a state of collapse. " Ha ! ha ! ha ! " roared the sub : " I thought as much'; now try that mass of fat containing the kidney, and you will have farther evidence of the skill with which an Indian butcher can manufacture a fat joint of mutton." I made a transverse incision into the membraneous sac, and there lay a beautiful and compact stratification of suet, skin, and other extraneous matters, which I extracted seriatim at the point of my fork. I confess I was thunderstruck at this profligacy of the heathen, which is, however, common enough. Currah is an interesting spot, abounding in pictu- resque ruins ; and good sporting is to be had there, the neighbourhood abounding in hares, wild pea-fowl, grey partridges, and quail; the best cover in which to find the latter is, my friend told me, the soft feathery under- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 323 growth of grass to be found in the indigo fields. In some of the islands of the Ganges, black partridge, florikin, and hog deer are to be met with, and there are also plenty of wolves and hyaenas amongst the ruins, for those who are fond of such sport. The town of Currah, about fifty miles above Allaha- bad, is situated on the Ganges, close to its banks, and presents to the view a confused mass of mud buildings, buried in the foliage of numerous neem, peepul, and tamarind trees ; interspersed with these are several temples, musjids, or mosques, as also some houses of stone or brick, displaying a considerable appearance of comfort and convenience for this part of India. The vicinity is much cut up by deep ravines, formed by the annual rains in their descent, through the loose soil, to the river. A little below the town are the re- mains of a considerable fort, which from the Ganges has rather a picturesque appearance ; its gateway, and some lofty circular bastions, are in a very tolerable state of preservation. Lower down still, on the spot where I moored, are some pretty Hindoo mundils or temples, from which ghauts or flights of steps lead to the river ; these are overhung by noble trees, principally the tamarind, shed- ding a cool and refreshing shade over the spot. Here I planted my chair on one or two evenings, with my friend the sub, beneath the shade of these trees, and, soothed into a state of tranquillity by the cooing of numerous doves, which fill the groves, I gazed on the boats as they glided down the stream, and yielded up my mind to the influence of tranquil and pleasing emo- tions. I thought of home my mother the widow when I should be a captain and other things equally remote and agreeable. The tamarind, to my taste, is the most beautiful tree of the East not even excepting the banyan the foliage, which is of a delicate green, droops in rich and luxuriant masses, like clusters of ostrich plumes overhanging a Y 2 324 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. piece of water, or half-enveloping some old mosque, durgah, or caravanserai with the traveller's horse picketed in its shade, or the group of camels ruminating in repose beneath it nothing can be more picturesque. This tree, beneath which no plant will grow, seems to be a great favourite with the natives, but particularly with the Mahomedans ; it is almost invariably to be found near their mosques and mausoleums ; and amongst them, I suspect, holds the place the yew, or rather the cypress, does with us an almost inseparable adjunct of the tomb : " Fond tree, still sad when others' griefs are fled. The only constant mourner o'er the dead. " A nest of Brahmins is comfortably established in and about the ghaut and temple above mentioned, the duties of which latter they perform ; these, with bathing, eat- ing, sleeping, and fleecing European passers-by, consti- tute the daily tenor of their harmless lives. They regu- larly levy contributions from European travellers who pass this way, and make, I suspect, rather a good thing of it. Their course of proceeding is as follows : one of the fraternity, with all the humility of aspect which char- acterized Sterne's monk, waits upon the traveller with a little present of milk, fruit, or a pot of tamarind pre- serve the last, by the way, uncommonly good there this, in a subdued tone, and with a low salaam, he ten- ders for acceptance, and at the same time produces for inspection a well-thumbed volume of which it might truly be said, in the language of the Latin grammar, " Qui color albus erat, nunc est contrarius albo " partly filled with names, doggrels, and generally abortive attempts at the facetious. In this the traveller is re- quested to record his name, the date of his visit, with the addition of as much epigram as he can conveniently squeeze out, or of any extempore verses he may chance to have by him ready cut and dry for such occasions. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 325 Having made his literary contribution, and returned the valuable miscellany to its owner, in whose favour the traveller's romantic feelings are perhaps warmly excited, particularly if, like me, a " tazu wulait " (literally, a fresh-imported European), with some St. Pierre-ish notions of the virtuous simplicity of Brahmins and Gen- toos, he begins to discover, from the lingering, fidgety, expectant manner of his sacerdotal friend, that something remains to be done in fact, that a more important con- tribution is required and that the "amor nummi" is quite as rife in a grove on the banks of the Ganges as any- where else in this lucre-loving world. On making this discovery, he disburses his rupee in a fume, and all his romantic ideas of hospitable Brahmins, primitive sim- plicity, children of nature, &c. &c., vanish into thin air. My friend the sub lent me a pony, and, accompanied by dogs, servants, and guns, we traversed a good deal of the surrounding country in search of game and the picturesque. The country, for miles around Currah, is thickly covered with the ruins of Mahomedan tombs, some of great size, and combining, with much diversity of form, considerable elegance and architectural beauty. Two or three of these, more striking than the rest, are erected over the remains of peers or saints ; one of these latter is, I was told, Sheik Kummul udDeen, a very holy man, who, doubtless, in his day rendered good service to the cause of Islam, by dint, probably, of that very cutting and convincing argument the shumshere* The ad- jacent village of Kummulpore derives its name from him. Kurruck Shah, I learnt from my young friend, who was a bit of an antiquary, was the name of another peer of remarkable sanctity, who lies buried near the town of Currah ; his durgah or shrine, which we visited, is situated in the midst of an extensive paved court, nearly encompassed by shabby whitewashed buildings, shaded * Sword, whence probably scimitar. 326 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. by two or three gigantic trees, some of the arms of which were leaning for support on the buildings they had so long shaded, like parents claiming in age the support of their children their natural props. It has, we were told, an establishment of peerzadas, or attendant priests, and land attached for their support, the supply of oil for the lamps, &c. I could never learn clearly or positively the cause of so vast a congregation of tombs as this neighbourhood exhibits, many square miles being covered with them ; but my companion was told by villagers whom he ques- tioned on the subject, that they covered the remains of the slain who fell in a great battle. As, however, the dates on the tombs are of various periods, this must have been the hardest fought battle on record or the process of interment singularly slow. Joking apart, to trust to the on dits and traditions of untutored peasants in any country is far more likely to lead to error than to enlighten, in nine cases out of ten. Having much enjoyed my three days' halt at Currah, I once more pursued my onward course, my hospitable host sending down to my boat a profusion of butter, fresh bread, and vegetables, for my voyage, with a piece of mutton, on the integrity of which he told me I might confidently rely : this was, at all events, puffing it in a proper manner. I found the country between Currah and Cawnpore to contain nothing particularly remarkable ; groves, ghauts, mud- built towns, ravines, and sand-banks constituted its leading features. On one of the latter, one fine cold evening, I performed the funeral obsequies of the one- eyed bull- dog, who had been long in a declining state ; the climate evidently did not agree with his constitution, and he slowly sunk under its effects. The interment was conducted by Nuncoo Matar, and Teazer, now con- stituting the sum total of my kennel, stood by whilst his companion Bully was receiving those last attentions at our hands. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 327 At Cawnpore I put up with the major, who, the reader may remember, was one of our passengers in the Rottenbeam Castle. He was a most worthy, gentle- manly fellow, as great a griffin as myself, though likely to continue so to the end of the chapter, for two very good reasons : one, because he had passed that age after which, as I have before stated, in an early part of these memoirs, the process of accommodation to Indian habits becomes an exceedingly difficult one ; and secondly, because he had the honour to belong to one of H.M.'s regiments, in which it must be sufficiently obvious, without my troubling the reader or myself with an elaborate explanation, that a knowledge of Indian man- ners, language, and customs is not so likely to be acquired as in a sepoy corps, where a European is brought into constant contact with the natives. The major, who was accustomed to the best society of England, had a considerable admixture of the exqui- site in his composition ; but it sat so easily upon him he did not know it, and being natural, was consequently agreeable. I would not have it inferred, exactly, that I think all things which are genuine must necessarily please, but that nature is always a redeeming feature, and when associated with what is in itself excellent, it constitutes the master- charm. The major gave me a room in his bungalow, to which I soon had all my valuables transferred from the bolio. The same day the manjee came up to make his salaam, and demand the balance of what was due to him for his boat. He was accompanied by his sable crew, jolly fellows, who had carried me on their shoulders over many a nullah, and plunged many a time and oft in the Ganges for me, to pick up a bird. There they were, "four- and- twenty blackbirds all in a row," in the major's verandah, squatted on their hams, and dressed in their best attire. Every face had become familiar to me; I knew most of their names, their 328 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. peculiar fortes, from the purloiner en passant of kuddoos * and cucumbers, the thief in ordinary to the mess, to the instructor of the paroquets, and the cook to the crew, and associated one or more of their names with almost every sporting adventure or exploit in which I had been engaged on my way up a long four months' trip. It is true I subjected them occasionally to the rigorous discipline of the Marpeetian code; in other words, thrashed them soundly when they hesitated to plunge into an alligatorish-looking pool after a wounded dabchick, or capsized my griffinship, as happened once or twice, when staggering with me Scotch-cradle fashion, gun and all, through the shallows, to myboKo; but the good- natured, placable creatures soon forgot it, and we were on the whole very good friends. I believe they knew I was a griffin, and, cognizant of the infirmities of that singular animal, made allowances for me, particularly as I gave them sometimes, by way of compensation, a rupee or a feed of metais (sweetmeats). On paying the manjee, he tied up the rupees carefully in the corner of his turban, and made me a low salaam ; his crew also bowed themselves to the earth. So much for business. He then put up his hands, and with an agreeable smile, and in an insinuating tone, said some- thing which I desired Ramdial to explain, though I partly guessed its purport. " What does he muncta (want), Eamdial ?" " He bola (says) if Sahib Kooshee will please give him buckshish" " Yes, yes ; we'll give him some boxes paunch rupee bus ? " (Rs. 5 enough, eh ?) "Han Sahib (yes, sir) bus (enough)/' Having, in my usual piebald lingua franca, thus consulted my keeper of the privy purse, I ordered him to disburse a gratuity of Rs. 5 amongst the crew, which they gratefully received, with many salaams. Thus we * Gourd, vegetable marrow. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 329 parted, never more to meet, and thus wound up my aquatic journey from the presidency to Cawnpore. The curtain is now about to rise on act the last of my griffinage, and it may be some consolation to those who have sat thus long to witness the performance, that they are approaching the denouement, the grand flourish of trumpets and exeunt omnes. Cawnpore is the head-quarters of a division, and the station of several thousand troops of all arms with some slight addition, indeed, of native troops, a force can be despatched almost immediately from this station with which hardly any Indian army of the present day could successfully contend in the open field. At the period embraced by these memoirs, a regiment of dragoons, two of native cavalry, one of European, and three of native infantry, horse and foot, artillery, pioneers, engineers, &c., &c., constituted the amount of the military force at Cawnpore. The station itself has a bad name amongst Indian stations, and richly does it deserve it. Dust, ravines, and mangy black pigs are the most striking features of the cantonment ; and the neighbouring country is flat, arid, and peculiarly unin- teresting. The society is large, and time is killed here pretty much in the same way as in other large stations private and mess parties, masquerades and fancy dress-balls, and private theatricals. I passed a week with the hospitable major, which was principally devoted to making the necessary preparations for my march. I had nearly emptied the general's snuff- box ; had no pay due ; and was consequently obliged to consider economy in my purchases, and to relinquish all ideas, if I ever had them, of travelling en seigneur or a la nawaub. The first thing was to purchase a nag, and the major in this undertook to assist me and thereby hangs a tale. He intimated to one of his regimental functionaries that a young gentleman wanted a pony; and straightway a 330 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. rare assortment of Rosin antes in miniature made their appearance in the compound. I never beheld the phrase of " raw head and bloody bones " so completely reduced to matter-of-fact before as in some of these lit ing satires on the equine race, most of them grass-cutters' tatoos the quintessence of vice and deformity a breed peculiar to India, and the very pariar of horses.* " Try this fellow, Gernon," said the major, laughing ; " I think he'll do for you." The major little thought how near he was to the mark. On his so saying, I mounted, or rather threw my leg over a very angular back-bone, and seizing a primitive bridle of string or cord, solicited an onward movement with a " gee-up." Now, whether it was that I touched a "tender point," or being of greater specific gravity than a bundle of grass, I know not ; but certainly I was no sooner in a " fix," as the Yankees say, than the little devil emitted an appalling scream, clapped back his ears, and com- menced a rapid retrograde movement, backing me into the midst of " seven devils " worse than himself. In a moment, I had double that number of heels in full play around me, spite of the tatoo owners' attempts to drive off their animals. A thundering broadside in the ribs of my Bucephalus, which damaged my leg consider- ably, and other notes of battle sounding around, con- vinced me speedily that the sooner my friend and I parted company the better. I consequently rolled off, and scrambled out of the mlee, receiving, in retreating, an accelerator in the shape of another kick on or about the region of the os coccygis. As for the major, he was almost in convulsions. " Confound it, major, that's too bad of you," said I, " to get me on the back of that imp, and now to laugh at my misfortunes." " Oh ! then, by dad, you must forgive me," said he, * The English reader can have little idea of the viciousness of Indian horses and tatoos ; they fight like tigers, particularly the last-named. MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. 331 his eyes still streaming ; " but if it was my father him- self I could not resist ; '' and again he laughed till he gave up through exhaustion. This over, I proceeded to a more cautious selection, and finally bought a tolerably decent-looking animal for Es. 25, and who, bating that his fore-feet were in the first position, was worth the money. A small tent, in India termed a routee, rather the worse for wear, I bought for Ks. 60, and this, with a Cawnpore-made saddle and bridle, a hackery, two bullock-trunks, and a pair of bangy baskets, constituted my turn-out for the march. My friend the major kindly took me with him to messes and wherever he was invited. These mess parties I then thought very pleasant, though I confess I should now derive very little pleasure from the scenes in which I was then wont to delight, particularly on what were considered public nights toasting, speechifying, drinking, singing songs (many of the grossest description), roaring and screeching, with the finale of devilled biscuits, daybreak, pale faces, per haps a quarrel or two, and half a dozen under the table, in a few words describe them. Since those days, and twenty-five years are now equal to a century of the olden time as respects progress, things have improved ; we have begun to learn in what true sociality really consists even and tranquil inter- change of thought, with a sprinkling of decent mirth, the genuine " feast of reason and the flow of soul " to which eating and drinking, the mere gastronomic plea- sures of the table, are considered as secondary rather than as principal sources of enjoyment. The change, however, is yet but beginning ; aldermen, it is true, have ceased to be inseparably associated (as twin ideas) with huge paunches and red noses your seven-bottle men have enjoyed the last of their fame, which reposes with the celebrity of a Beau Brummel ; but too much of the old Saxon leaven the wine and 332 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. wassail-loving and gormandizing spirit, with an excess of animalism in other respects still characterizes us ; and, little as it may be thought, is a serious hindrance to social and intellectual advancement. The more exalted pleasures of the heart and intellect, let it he observed in passing, can only be enjoyed, indi- vidually and nationally, by those who can restrain their grosser appetites within moderate bounds. This great truth the Easterns of old perceived, though (like all truth when first discerned) it was pushed to a vicious extreme in this case that of excessive mortification. This inordinate love of that which administers grati- fication to the senses (allowable in a moderate degree) is, it appears to my humble apprehension, our prime national defect ; it engenders a fearful selfishness and profusion militates against that moderation and simpli- city of character from which great things spring marks a state of pseudo-civilization, and causes to be left fallow or but partially cultivated the field of the benevolent affections the true source of the purest enjoyments. When man shall be sought and prized for his qualities and virtues, and not for his mere adjuncts of wealth and station ; when happy human hearts and smiling human faces shall have more real charms for the great and re- fined than the pirouettes of a Taglioni or the strains of a Eubini ; when the glow of self-approval shall be able to battle with the fashionable sneer and the " world's dread laugh/' and the duties of kindred and country shall take precedence of " missions to the blacks," and the like ; then, indeed, shall we be opening a new field for the mighty energies of our race, and entering on a happy millennium. What a power to effect good, by leading the young and awakening spirit of the age into paths of peace, do the aristocracy of this country possess, if they would but use it ! Standing on the vantage ground of fashion, wealth and station, they might infuse fresh moral and intellectual vigour into the nation, and stem, by all that MEMOIKS OF A GKIFFIN. 333 is liberal, ennobling, and refining, the somewhat sordid and mediocre influences of mere commercial wealth. " Truth," from them, would prevail with " double sway ; " whilst philanthropists in "seedy coats" may plead in vain with the fervour of a Paul and the eloquence of a Demosthenes. " What's in a name ? " says Shakespeare " a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." There the immortal bard utterly belied his usual accu- racy. CHAPTEK XXIV. A MILITARY execution must be, under all circumstances and to all persons, an awful and striking exhibition ; but seen for the first time, it makes on the young mind a peculiarly deep and painful impression. An European soldier of one of the regiments at the station had, in a fit of passion and disappointment, attempted the life of his officer, and, agreeably to the necessarily stern pro- visions of military law, was sentenced to be shot. I witnessed the execution ; * a solemn scene it was, and one which will never be effaced from my memory. The troops of various arms, European and native, were drawn up when I reached the parade, and formed in three sides of an immense square, facing inwards. The arms were "ordered," and a portentous silence prevailed, broken only occasionally by the clank of a mounted officer's sword, and the tramp of his horse's hoofs as he rode slowly down the ranks. The morning mists were beginning to disperse, and the bright sun was darting his long and almost level rays across the parade ground, and gleaming brightly on a forest of steel and dazzling accoutrements the last sunrise the unhappy criminal was ever destined to behold. * This is a faithful description of a real occurrence, though it did not take place at the supposed time. 334 MEMOIRS OF A GEIFFIN. The roll of the drum now announced his arrival, and soon the procession, in which he occupied a conspicuous position, rounded the flank of one of the sides of the square. First marched, at a slow pace, a party hearing the coffin of the condemned, followed by the execution party ; then the band, playing the Dead March in Saul: it was a frightful scene, and sent a damp to my heart what must have been its effects on the unhappy man himself? Last in the melancholy procession came a litter (doo- lie), borne on the shoulders of men ; and in it, with a white cap on his head, and a face calm and resigned, but deadly pale, sat the unfortunate soldier, for whom, I con- fess, I felt most deeply. By his side, arrayed in full canonicals, walked the chaplain, his book open in his hand, reading those prayers and promises speaking of pardon and hope which are calculated to cheer the parting hour, and to soften the bitterness of death. The procession having passed slowly along the front of each regiment, which, from the great extent of the square, occupied a considerable time, now drew off to the centre of what, if complete, would have consti- tuted the fourth side of the parallelogram : there it halted. The coffin-bearers placed their burden on the ground and retired ; the execution-party drew up at some dis- tance from it. The prisoner left his doolie, and, accom- panied by the clergyman, walked slowly and with a firm step towards the coffin ; on this they both knelt, with their faces towards the troops, and prayed with up- lifted hands. Profound was the silence. A soul was preparing for eternity! Being a spectator at large, I selected my position, and being close to the spot, saw all distinctly. After some time had been occupied in prayer, the chaplain retired, when the judge advocate, on horseback, came forward, and, drawing forth the warrant for the MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 835 prisoner's execution, read it with a firm and audible voice; at the conclusion, the chaplain once more advanced, and, kneeling on the coffin, again, with uplifted hands, and deep and impressive fervour, imparted the last spiritual consolations to the condemned. What feelings must have torn the bosom of that un- happy being at that moment ! Set up as a spectacle before thousands an ignominious death before him and perhaps the thoughts of those he loved, of kindred and of home, never more to be seen, adding another drop to his cup of bitterness ! But yet he quailed not no muscle trembled and a stern determination to die like a man was stamped upon his care-worn and marbly countenance. The tragedy was now drawing to a close. The chap- lain, with apparent reluctance, rose and retired, and at the same moment the sergeant of the execution-party advanced and bound a handkerchief over the prisoner's eyes, also pinioning his arms. Still not a muscle moved ; there were 110 signs of weakness, though the situation might well have excused them, and the chest was thrown out and squared to receive the leaden mes- sengers of death. The " make ready ! " and the crack of the muskets as they were brought to the " recover/' were startling notes of preparation, and fell with sickening effect on my ear. I could scarcely believe it possible I was looking on a scene of reality a fellow- creature about to be shot down, however deservedly, in cold blood, like a very dog. " Present ! " " fire ! " and all was over. A mass of balls, close together, pierced his heart over he went like a puppet fell on his back, and never moved a limb. Life seemed borne away on the balls that went through him, and to have vanished with the speed of an electric spark. There he lay, like fallen Hassan, " his back to earth, his face to heaven/' his mouth open, as if to put forth a 336 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. cry which had died unborn with the passing pang ; one blood-red spot on his cheek, where a bullet had entered, lending its frightful contrast to the marbly hue of his features ; the heel of one foot rested on the coffin, the other on the ground; his hands open and on their backs. A short pause now ensued, which was soon followed by a stir of mounted officers galloping to and fro, and the loud command to " wheel back into open column," and " march ! " In this order the whole force advanced, the bands of the several regiments playing in succession, as they marched past the corpse, the deep and solemn strains of the Adeste Fideles, or Portuguese Hymn, a dirge- like air, admirably adapted for such occasions, and which breathes the very soul of melancholy. As the flanks of each company passed, almost touch- ing the dead man, it was curious to observe the various expressions in the countenances of the soldiers, Euro- pean and sepoy, as they stole their almost scared and sidelong glances at it. The non-military reader will be a little surprised, as I am sure I was, when I tell him that each regiment, after having passed the body a few hundred yards, changed the slow to quick march, and diverged to their several lines, playing " The girl I left behind me," or some similar lively air, with a view, I presume, to dissi- pate the recent impression. The wisdom of such a proceeding is by no means self-evident ; it seems indecent, to say the least of it : to be consistent, we should always ring a merry peal after a funeral, or a gallopade home from church. Bidding adieu to my friend the major, and duly equipped for the march, I left Cawnpore for Futtyghur, and the following was the composition of my rather patriarchal turn-out bating the red coats and muskets of my escort : a naick and six sepoys of Nizamut, or militia ; we might have passed pretty well for the section " __^2*S$&.. m MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 337 of a nomade tribe on the move in search of clearer streams and greener pastures. A two-bullock hackery or country cart, a very primi- tive lumbering locomotive, whose wheels, utter strangers to grease, emitted the most excruciating music, conveyed my tent, trunks, and hen-coops, with the dobie's lady and family perched a-top of all. Then there was a bangy-burdah, with two green petaras, containing my breakfast and dinner apparatus, whilst Ramdial, my sirdar, trudged on, bearing the bundle containing my change of linen, and dragging my milch-goat (for Nanny did not approve of marching) after him, nolens volens. Nunco led my dogs in a leash ; to wit, Teazer, and a nondescript substitute for the bull, with a few evanescent shades of the greyhound, which I had purchased at Cawnpore. I named this animal, rather ironically, "Fly," which Nunco manufactured into " Pillai." Fyz Buccas, kidmutgar, trudged along, driving before him a knock-kneed shambling tatoo, which I verily thought he would have made a spread eagle of, laden with his wife, two children, and sundry bags, pots, pans, &c. Whether Mrs. Fyz Buccas was a beauty or not I cannot positively say, though, if I might judge from the sample of one coal-black eye, of which, through the folds of her hood I occasionally had a glimpse, I should decidedly say she was. I generally rode ahead of the procession, armed cap- a-pie, and shone the very lean ideal of griffinish chiv- alry. My syce always carried my gun, to be ready for a shot at a passing wolf or jackal, and with one or two other servants, viz., a classee, or tent-pitcher, bhistee, &c., with my guard, we constituted a rather numerous party. In the above order I left Cawnpore, for a small village on the road to Furruckabad, where, in an extensive mango grove, I for the first time in my life slept under canvas. 338 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. It is the almost invariable custom in India to march in the early part of the morning, so as to reach the halting-ground before the sun has attained much power; but I was either ignorant of the practice, or thought it would be preferable to reverse the system ; certain it is, that for some time I always marched in the evenings, arriving at my ground sometimes after dark; by that means I was enabled to rise at my own hour comfort- ably the next morning, and had the whole day till about sunset for my amusement. About that time I would seat myself on a chair under a tree, with my kulian in my hand, and super- intend the striking and loading my tent, &c. About half an hour after they were fairly off, I would rise like a giant refreshed, mount my steed, whilst my syce obsequiously held my stirrup, and, fairly seated, would follow the baggage. I love to recall in imagination those days, the open- ing ones of my independent existence. How vividly can I recall the scene which this march so often pre- sented ! the waning sunlight of the cold winter even- ings, a few bright streaks just tinging the horizon, my hackery slowly wending its way over the plain, and my scattered servants crawling behind it, in a cloud of dust; the mango groves villages mud huts, and all the accompaniments of a country life in Upper India ! I must not here omit to mention that, prior to my leaving Cawnpore, I received a letter from my friend and patron Captain Marpeet, with whom I occasionally cor- responded ; it was couched in his usual frank and half-, bantering style, and informed me that his regiment was on the eve of marching to Delhi, and that he anticipated great pleasure in meeting me there. Thus it concluded : " Recollect, my dear boy, I shall have a room at your service, and that you put up with me on your arrival ; you are not fit to take care of yourself yet, and require a little more of my drilling and paternal care. Give me a MEMOIRS OP A GRIFFIN. 339 few lines from Futtyghur, and mention when I may expect you. A friend of mine, Judge Sympkin, is now out in the district through which you will pass, on some Mo- fussil business. I enclose you a few lines of introduction, and have written to tell him he may expect you. He is a princely fellow, a first-rate sportsman, and lives like a fighting-cock, as a Bengal civilian should do. Hoping soon to shake you by the hand, " I am, worthy Griff, " Yours, &c., " J. MARPEET." A few days brought me to Futtyghur, of which I have nothing particular to record, excepting that the adjoining town of Furruckabad is celebrated for the manufacture of tent cloth and camp equipage, and as the scene of the defeat of Holkar's cavalry by our dragoons in Lord Lake's war. By the way, an officer who was in that action told the relator, that the Brummagem swords of the troopers would make little or no impression on the quilted jackets and vests of the Mahrattas, and that he saw many of them dismount and take the well-tempered blades of the natives they had pistoled, and use them instead of their own. The keen, razor-like swords of the East give those who wield them a fearful advantage over men armed with our mealy affairs. The former will split a man down from the " nave to the chine," or slice off his head with infinite ease (sauf karna, " to shave him clean," is the Indian phrase), whilst ours require immense physi- cal force to produce such a result. The author once met some troopers of the 4th Eegi- ment of Native Cavalry, some squadrons of which were dismissed for turning tail when ordered to charge the ex- raj ah of Kotah's body-guard, and asked them how they came to disgrace themselves. The answer of one of them was, " Why, what chance, sir, have we with men in chain z 2 340 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. armour, and wielding swords of such a temper that they will cut down horse and man at a single blow ? " I mention this as hearing on recent acts and discus- sions, not in justification of the men, hut as affording a probable clue to the backwardness of our cavalry on some occasions. I think we are prone to rely too much on the power of disciplined troops acting en masse, to the neglect of those matters calculated to increase individual prowess. Good arms are a first-rate consideration, not only for the superior execution they do, but on account of the confidence with which they inspire the soldier. At Futtyghur my tent was besieged by the venders of cloth, &c., and one man brought a number of tulwars (swords) made at Rampore, in Bohilcund, a place cele- brated for them, for sale. After some higgling, I pur- chased one, a keen and well-poised blade, for the small sum of Es. 4. I longed to try it upon some neck or other, and, as luck would have it, soon had the desired opportunity, on a felonious pariar dog, which had made free with a portion of my dinner. I had advanced some four or five marches beyond Fur- ruckabad, each day diversified by some novelty in the scenery some fresh object, in the shape of travellers, pilgrims, buildings, and the like but still beginning to feel the want of a companion whose language was the same as my own, when one morning, as I was strolling, with my pellet-bow in my hand (for I had resumed it, in spite of the crack on the thumb), T observed at a dis- tance a horseman slowly approaching. As he came nearer, I observed he was mounted on a tall Rosiuante-looking steed, with a flowing tail and mane ; his head-stall was of a sort of red bell-rope-look- ing cord ; a bunch of red cloth, something like a hand- kerchief, dangled under his horse's chin, from whence a standing martingale passed between his legs. Amulets and chains were round his animal's neck, and the saddle (or cushion, rather) was covered with a square broad cloth of red and yellow chequers. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 341 The cavalier himself, a dark-bearded Mahomedan, was a fine specimen of the Hindoostanee irregular horseman. His chupkun, or vest, of yellow broad cloth, reached to his knee, and his legs were encased in long wrinkled boots, something like Jack Sheppard's, and which would not have been the worse for a touch of Day and Martin. On his head he wore a cylindrical Cossack-looking cap of black felt or lambskin. A long matchlock was poised on his shoulder ; a tulwar, or scimitar, was stuck in his cummerbund or girdle, and a circular black shield, of buffalo's hide, swung on his shoulders. Altogether, though I was brought up in the orthodox belief that one Englishman is equal to three Frenchmen, and of course, to an indefinite number of blacks, I cannot say I should have liked to encounter him upon my tatoo. However, his was a mission of peace, as I soon discovered. On seeing me, he dug his heels into his horse's flanks, and was soon beside me. Throwing himself off, he saluted me with an off-handed salaam, in which hauteur and civility were oddly blended, and then, taking off his cap, he extracted therefrom a letter, somewhat pinguinized and sudorificated, which he respectfully placed in my hands. It was addressed to " Ensign Francis Gernon, on his march to Delhi," and ran thus : "MY DEAR SIR, " Our mutual friend Marpeet has apprized me of your approach ; I write, therefore, to say that, as a friend of his, it will give me great pleasure if you can spare me a day or two, if not pressed to join. Your Colonel Bob- bery I know well, and will undertake to mollify him if necessary. The sowar, the bearer of this, will conduct you at once to my encampment, and you can instruct your people to follow in the morning. I have a spare tent and cot at your service. " Hoping soon to see you, " I am yours truly, "AUGUSTUS SYMPKIN." 342 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. " That will do," I inwardly ejaculated, as, after exam- ining the seal and superscription, I conveyed the letter to my pocket. I instantly ordered my pony, and girding on my spit, wherewith to destroy any chance giants or dragons I might encounter on the way, I gave the signal, and the sowar and I were soon in a long canter for the judge's tents. After a ride of about eight miles, the turn of the road exhibited to my view the judge's encampment, in which were tents and people enough for nearly a regiment of five hundred men. Under a spreading banyan-tree were a couple of ele- phants, eating branches of trees for their tea, as we do water- cresses, and sundry camels bubbling* and roaring, and uprearing their lofty necks by the well-side, where, from the force of association, I almost looked for Jacob and the fair Rebecca, as represented in those Scripture prints which in infancy we love to dwell upon, and whence probably originates that exquisite charm, that, through our future life, is ever interwoven with Eastern scenes and customs. Under a couple of tamarind trees, four or five beautiful horses were picketed; amongst them a milk-white Arab, with a flowing tail. This was the judge's favourite steed. " Pretty well all this," thought I, " for one man, and he, too, perhaps, the son of some small gentleman." My arrival caused a considerable stir at the large tent. Two or three chupprassies, or silver- badge men, darted in to announce me ; the bearer caught up the huge red umbrella or chattah, to be prepared for the great man's exit, and to guard his honoured cranium from the rays of the now declining sun. One or two others held aside the purdahs, or chicks, and Mr. Sympkin, a well- compacted, hearty, jolly, but withal gentlemanly man, of forty-five or fifty, or thereabouts, stood forth to view ; he was followed by a fat squabby man, of the colour of * When the camel blows out his water-bag from his mouth, the act is attended with a loud gurgling, or rather bubbling sound. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. -343 yellow soap or saffron, who, though attired in some- thing like the European garb, did not, nevertheless, in other respects, seem to belong to our quarter of the globe. The judge shook me heartily by the hand, and was at once so smiling and cordial, that I began to fancy I must certainly have known him somewhere before, and that this could never be the first of our acquaintance. It was true downright goodness of heart, bursting through the cobwebs of ceremony, and going slap-bang to its purpose. " Well, Mr. Gernon, I'm happy to see you here sound and safe. I hope my sowar piloted you well ; how far off have you left your tents ? " Having replied to these queries, he again resumed. " When did you hear last from our friend Marpeet ? not since I did, I dare say. Come, give your pony to that man, and he'll take care of him for you." I resigned my tatoo, who was led off. The judge's servants smiled, and exchanged significant glances, as my little jaded rat, with accoutrements calculated for a horse of sixteen hands high, was marched away. I confess, for the first time, I felt perfectly ashamed of him. "Come in," said the judge, "we will dine somewhat earlier on your account; but, in the meantime, as you must be fatigued, a glass of wine will refresh you. Qui hye ? sherry -shrol) lou. By the bye," said he, recollect- ing himself, as we turned to enter the tent, " I had nearly forgotten to introduce you to a fellow-traveller. Ensign Gernon, the Rev. Mr. Arratoon Bagram Sarkies; Mr. Sarkies, Mr. Gernon." The little fat man smiled benignantly, as with a look betokening that my youth and deportment had made a pleasing impression upon him, he, in a manner half- Asiatic, tendered me his hand, as if he felt himself bound in duty to back the judge"s cordiality. I was sorely puzzled to divine who this amiable little 344 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. personage could be, and to what portion of the church universal his reverence belonged. Mr. Sympkin seemed, I thought, to enjoy my gaping looks of astonishment, but took an opportunity of informing me, very shortly afterwards, that Mr. Sarkies was an Armenian mission- ary, proceeding to Guzerat with a camel load of tracts, in divers Eastern languages, for the purpose of convert- ing the natives. At the same time that he gave me this information, he proposed, if agreeable to me, that we should keep each other company for the few marches during which our route would lie together. To this proposal I joy- fully assented, for though the good missionary was not exactly the sort of companion I should have selected, had a choice been given me, nevertheless, an associate of any kind who could speak my own language was, under present circumstances, a great acquisition. Dinner soon made its appearance in the tent, which was fitted up with carpets, glass shades, attached by clasps to the poles, and, in short, everything that could render it comfortable and luxurious, and make us forget that we were in the wilds of Hindostan. The viands, which in excellence could not be surpassed by anything procurable, of their several kinds, at the most fashionable hotel or club-house at the west end of the town, were served in burnished silver. The wines and ales, of the most delicious kinds, were cooled a merveille, and we were waited upon by fine, proud- looking domestics, in rich liveries, who seemed fully sensible of the lustre they borrowed from their master's importance ; in short, I found myself all at once revelling in luxury, and was made to feel, though in the pleasantest possible way, the vastness of the gap which separates a griffin going to join from the judge of a zillah court. Mr. Sarkies, too, though his occupation referred more immediately to the other world, seemed, like myself, by no means insensible to the comforts of this mundane state of existence, paying very marked attention to the MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 345 mock-turtle, the roast saddle of mutton, maccaroni, and other " tiny kickshaws " that followed in abundance. In spite, however, of this little trait of the " old man Adam/ 5 the missionary appeared a most kind-hearted and benevolent creature; there was a childlike simplicity about him, evincing a total absence of all guile, which at once inspired a feeling of affection and regard, adding a proof, were it wanting, of the power of truthfulness and virtue, in whatever form it may appear. It was obvious, at a glance, that the Padre's heart was over- flowing with benevolence and love of his kind, and that no one harsh or unamiable feeling harboured there. The judge, though evidently of a jovial and bantering turn, and not at all likely to turn missionary himself, seemed clearly to entertain a mingled feeling of respect and esteem for his single-hearted, but somewhat eccentric guest, who, I found, owed his introduction to him to a somewhat similar chance to that to which I was indebted for mine a feeling that, in a great degree, restrained the inclination which, in a good-natured way, would every now and then peep out, to crack a joke at his expense. After a very pleasant evening, I retired to a comfortable cot, which my host ordered to be prepared for me ; and next morning Mr. Sympkin, who was engaged on some special business in the district, left us after breakfast to attend to his duties and proceed to his cuchery tent, around which were assembled horses and ponies gaily caparisoned, and a concourse of native zumeendars, with their attendants, hosts of villagers, witnesses, and the various native functionaries in the judge's suite, who in India bear the collective appellation of the " omlah." At tiffin he joined us, as full of spirits as a boy just let out of school, rubbing his hands in a gleeful way, and asked me if I was disposed for a day's shooting, for if so, he should be happy to show me some excellent sport, the neighbourhood abounding in game. I need hardly say that I was not backward in accepting his offer. The day following was a most propitious one for sport, 346 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. the air clear and bracing, and the sun, as is the case in this latitude and season, possessed of little power. Breakfast over, the judge ordered his gun to be laid on the table, and at the same time asked me how I was provided in that way. I told him I was possessed of a gun, but I dared say he would not deem it a first-rate piece of ordnance. " Allow me to look at it," said be ; " I'll send a man to your tent for it ; " and with this he despatched a servant to my routee. The judge clicked my locks, turned the piece about, took a peep at the muzzles, which were in rather fine order for cutting wadding, in the absence of the instru- ment usually employed for that purpose, shook his head, and returned it to me. " Come," said he, " I think we can set you up with a better piece than that for the day ; though," added he, archly, " it appears to have seen a little service too ; " and so saying, he put together a splendid Joe Manton, the locks of which spoke eloquently as he played them off, and he placed it in my hands. "Have you ever shot off an elephant ? " " Never, sir, ' said I, " though I have ridden upon one more than once." " Well, then, you must make your first essay to-day ; it is no easy matter ; you must allow for the rise and fall of the animal, and take care you don't bag any of the black fellows alongside of you." I laughingly assured him I would endeavour to avoid that mistake. " Come along, then," said he ; "I think we are now ready/' The judge had two noble shekarrie, or hunting elephants, trained to face the tiger, and for sport in general, which stood ready caparisoned, with their flaming red j /tools, or housings, in front of the tent. In the howdah of one of them I took my seat, whilst the judge occupied that of the other. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 347 Duly seated, guns secured, brandy and lunch stowed away in the khowas or dicky, the stately brutes rose at the command of the drivers from their recumbent postures ; the orderly Cossack-looking horsemen mounted; the troop of beaters shouldered their long laties or poles, and we were instantly bearing away in full swing for the sporting-ground. This lay at the distance of three or four miles from our encampment, and consisted of a long shallow jheel or lake, skirted by tracks of rank grass, terminating in cultivation, villages, and groves of trees. The elephant moves both legs at one side simultane- ously, consequently the body rises and falls, and his motion is that of a ship at sea, and I felt before I tried it that I should make nothing of my first attempt to shoot off one. We now formed line, the judge's elephant at one extremity, or pretty nearly so, and mine at the other, and advanced. " Keep a good look-out, Gernon," cried my host ; " we shall have something up immediately." He had scarcely uttered the words, when up flustered a huge bird from under the elephant's feet, towering perpendicularly overhead ; his -burnished throat, golden hues, and long sweeping tail, proclaimed him at once a wild peacock. I endeavoured to cover him, but all in vain, my gun's muzzles, like the poet's eye, were alternately directed " from earth to heaven," through the up-and-down motion of the elephant. IJowever, I blazed away both barrels, but without touching a feather. On attaining a certain elevation, he struck off horizontally, wings expanded, cleaving the air like a meteor; but, passing to the rear of my companion, he, with the greatest sang-froid, rose, turned round in his howdah, and dropped him as dead as a stone, amidst cries tf'lugga lugya ("hit")! mara ("killed")! and wau, wau ("bravo")! It is not considered very sportsmanlike to shoot the 348 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. full-grown peacock in India ; the chicks are, however, capital eating, and are often bagged. In this instance, the judge had evidently brought down the peacock for my gratification ; this I inferred from his immediately sending it to me by one of his horsemen, who hoisted it up into the howdah at the end of his spear. As we advanced farther into the long grass, evidences of the deserved character of the spot began to thicken around us ; black partridges rose every moment, and the judge tumbled them over right and left, but not a feather could I touch. Our line now made a sweep, with a view to emerging from the grass, and immediately a beautiful sight pre- sented itself; it was a whole herd of antelopes, roused by our beaters from their repose, and which went off before us, bounding with the grace of Taglioni. Two sharp cracks, and lugga, lugga I proclaimed that Mr. Sympkin had laid an embargo on one or more of them. This proved to be the case, and a fine black buck antelope, with spiral horns and a white streak down his side, and a fawn about half-grown, were soon seen dangling from the broad quarters of the elephant. On approaching the very verge of the long grass, a cry of sewer, sewer ! was followed by a wild hog's bolt- ing. I fired at him, and put a few shots in the hind- quarters of one of the judge's horses, who thereat reared and plunged, jerked off his rider's cap, and had nearly dismounted the rider himself, whom I could hear muttering a few curses at my awkwardness. The judge also discharged a brace of barrels at him, but he got off, and we saw him for a great distance scouring across the plain. Having issued from the grass, the judge drove his elephant alongside of mine. " Well, how do you get on ? I fear you found what I said correct, eh ? You haven't hit much ? '' " Much ! I haven't hit anything, sir, except one of your sowars' horses, I am sorry to say : it is most tanta- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 349 lizing ! I doubt if ever I should succeed in striking an object from an elephant." " Oh, yes, you would," said my host, smiling ; " a little practice makes perfect ; but come, well try on foot, on your account, after we have taken some refreshment ; we will confine ourselves to the skirts of the grass and bajrakates,* where we can see about us." Having refreshed ourselves with a glass of ale and some cold ham and fowl, we proceeded to try our luck on foot, and I now had the satisfaction of killing my fair share of game. " You have never, I presume, seen the mode in which the hog-deer is taken in this part of the world ? " I answered in the negative. " Well, then," resumed Mr. Sympkin, " if disposed to vary your sport, we have yet time before dinner. My people have the nets, and I'll show you how it is done ; this will be something to put in the next letter you write home to astonish them all." Having mounted horses, which were in attendance, we proceeded at a smart amble to a pretty extensive tract of reeds lying at the distance of a mile ; into this tract, which terminated rather abruptly at some distance, a line of men was placed, with here and there a horseman. At the extremity of the tract of reeds, but in the open plain, two ranks of men, with intervals of forty or fifty paces between each man, were placed, in prolongation of the sides of the patch of reeds. These two lines con- verged, and were terminated at the apex of the cone by a row of nets, formed of stout tarred cords, slightly propped up by stakes. The first-mentioned line now advanced with cries and shouts, and as it approached the confines of the bank of reeds, two fine hog-deer broke cover. The men composing the two lines above mentioned, whose termini appuyed on the nets, now squatted down close to the earth, and as the animals approached, they raised their * Fields of Bajra Holcus spicatus. 350 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. heads successively ; this alarming them, and preventing every attempt to quit the street in which they were confined. In this clever way they forced the deer, edging them on at full speed into the nets, into which they tumbled headlong, rolling over and over, completely manacled in the toils. I never saw anything so cleverly managed ; the fellows did everything with wonderful coolness and tact, and seemed perfectly masters of their craft. Laden with game, after a most interesting day's sport, we returned to Mr. Sympkin's tent, where we found our smiling little friend, the Padre, with his ever-ready hand extended, and prepared to receive and to congratulate us. After passing another day with our princely host, we took our leave and commenced our journey. Our tents had been sent overnight, and after an abundant breakfast, Ensign Gernon, the Griffin, and the Rev. Arratoon Bagram Sarkies, soon found themselves jogging along, discussing things in general in as cosy dialogues as those recorded to have taken place between the renowned knight of La Mancha and his valorous squire. The good mis- sionary, I was flattered to observe, took a warm and affectionate interest in me, which he manifested by a strong effort to impress upon me the deep importance of his religious views. One afternoon, as the missionary and I were sitting outside our tents, my attention was attracted towards a group of sepahis engaged under a banyan-tree playing the game of back-sword. As. the mode in which this exercise is conducted may be new to the reader, I shall describe it. The first who entered the lists or circle of spectators were two handsome and well-formed Rajpoots, who would have served for models of Apollo, and who in this exercise display uncommon agility and suppleness of limb ; they were naked to the loins, round which, the hips, and upper part of the thighs, was tightly wound the dotee, or waist- cloth, which sustains and strengthens the back the MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 351 " girding of the loins," so often mentioned in Scripture, &c. Each of the men held in his left hand a diminutive leathern shield or target, less than a foot in diameter, whilst his right grasped a long wooden sword, covered also with leather, and padded and guarded about the handle. Having exchanged salutes, one of them, holding his weapon at the recover, and planting himself in a firm attitude, hent a stern gaze on his adversary, which seemed to say, " Now do your worst." The other now commenced those ludicrously grotesque antics which, amongst the Hindoostanee athletse, are always the prelude to a set-to. He first, with the air of a maltre de ballet, took two or three sweeping steps to the right, eyed his opponent for an instant, and then kicking up his foot behind, so as almost to touch the small of his hack, he twirled round on his heel, and with his chest expanded and thrown proudly out, made another grave and prancing movement in the other direction ; he now approached nearer, struck the ground with his sword, dared his adversary to the onset, and again retreated with two or three long back-steps to the utmost verge of the circle formed by the spectators. Like cautious enemies, however, neither seemed to like to commit himself until sure of a palpable hit. At last, however, he who had been standing on the defensive, following with his hawk's eye the other's strut- ting gyrations, perceiving an advantage, levelled a blow at his adversary with the rapidity of lightning, which was caught on the target and returned as quick as- thought. A rapid' and animated exchange of strokes now took place, accompanied by the most agile bounds and movements; most of these blows rattled on the targets; head and shoulders, nevertheless, came in for an ample share of ugly hits. The fight at length ceased, and the breathless and exhausted combatants rested from their gladiatorial ex- hibition, amidst many " wau, waus " and " shabases " 352 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. (" bravos") ! resigning their weapons to two others anxious to display their prowess. Subsequent experience of them has convinced me that a finer body of men is hardly to be found than the sepoys of Hindostan, particularly in their own country; for, taken out of it into a climate where the food, water, &c., disagree with them, they lose much of their spirit and stamina. Our countryman, the British soldier, possesses an un- rivalled energy and bull- dog courage, which certainly, when the tug of war the hour of real danger comes, must, as it ever has done, bear everything before it; but justice demands the admission that, in many other respects, the sepoy contrasts most favourably with him temperate, respectful, patient, subordinate, and faithful one of his highest principles being " fidelity to his salt," he adds to no ordinary degree of courage every other requisite of a good soldier. A judicious policy towards these men, based on a thorough knowledge of their peculiar characteristics, may bind them to us for ages yet to come, by the double link of affection and interest, and enable us, as an Indian power, to laugh alike at foreign foes and domestic enemies ; whilst a contrary course, and leaving their feelings and customs to be trifled with by inexperienced innovators, may, ere long, produce an opposite effect, and cause them, if once alienated, to shake us off " like dew-drops from the lion's mane." Serais, or places of entertainment for wayfarers well known to all readers of Eastern tales as caravan- serais I frequently met with at towns on my march, and some- times encamped within or near the walls. The serais, like the generality of buildings in India, are almost always in a ruinous state, it being nobody's business to keep them in a state of repair. These structures, some of them the fruits of the piety and munificence of former times, are a great public benefit ; their construction is generally similar, and con- MEMOIRS OP A GRIFFIN. 353 sists of four walls of brick, stone, or mud, sometimes battlemented, forming a parallelogram, having gateways at two opposite sides, through which the high road usually passes. Small cells or apartments, with arched entrances, run round the interior, in any one of which the weary traveller may spread his mat, smoke his pipe, and enjoy his repose as long as he pleases. Each serai has its establishment of attendants, Imnyahs (shopkeepers), bhistees and mehturs (water-carriers and sweepers), who ply their several occupations, and ad- minister to the traveller's wants. What a motley and picturesque assemblage do these serais sometimes exhibit ! In one part saunters a group of fair and athletic Affghans from Cabul or Peshawur, proceeding with horses, greyhounds, dried fruits, and the like, to sell in the south ; their fearless bearing and deep voices proclaim them natives of a more invigorat- ing climate. In another, a drove of bunjarra bullocks repose amongst piled sacks of grain, and quietly munch the cud, whilst their nomade drivers smoke or snore around. Under the shade of yon drooping tamarind-tree, on a branch of which his sword and shield are suspended, a Mahomedan traveller has spread his carpet, and with his face towards Mecca (his kibla], his head hanging on his breast, and his arms reverentially folded, he offers up his evening's devotions ; near him, on the little clay terrace, is to be seen the high-caste bramin, his body marked with ochres and pigments, and, surrounded by his religious apparatus of conch, flowers, and little brazen gods, he blows his shell, tinkles his bell, and goes through all his little mummeries, with the full conviction that he is fulfilling the high behests of Heaven. Groups of camels, tatoos, or the gaunt steed of some roaming cavalier some Dugald Dalgetty of the East, seeking employment for his jaws and sword, or rather for his sword and jaws, for such is the order serve to fill up the little picture I have been describing, and which A A 354 MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. in my griffinisli days, and since, I have contemplated with pleasure. In a day or two we reached Allyghur, where my good friend the missionary and I were destined to part, his route lying to the southward towards Agra, mine in a more northerly direction to Delhi. Here I received a few lines from Marpeet, saying that he was looking for my arrival with great pleasure. " You had better push on as fast as you can, my dear Gernon, for your com- mandant, who is a crusty old fellow, and a very tight hand, has been heard to express his surprise at your not having long since made your appearance." This letter rather damped the buoyancy of my spirits. The following morning I took leave of my good friend the missionary ; his eyes filled with tears as he clasped my hands in both of his, and whilst pressing them to his bosom, pronounced a prayer and a blessing over me. If it indeed be true, and we have no reason to doubt it, that the prayer of the righteous man " availeth much," that prayer was deeply to be valued. Short as was the time of our acquaintance, I felt as if I had known him all my life, and was, consequently, much affected at part- ing. Half-choking as he rode off, I waved him a sorrow- ful, and what has proved a last, adieu. CHAPTER XXV. A FEW days more brought me to my last day's march on the banks of the Jumna, and the mosques and minarets of the ancient capital of India broke on my delighted view. I had scarcely dismounted from my pony at my tent door, which commanded a distant glimpse of the blue and " soft stealing " Jumna, when I perceived three Europeans on horseback approaching at a hard gallop. As they drew near, I recognized in one of the three my MEMOIRS OF A GBIFFIN. 355 friend and Mentor, Captain Marpeet. He was soon up, and warm and cordial was our greeting. " Well, my boy, long looked-for comes at last ; glad to have you amongst us, Gernon," said he, presenting me to his companions, two laughing, beardless ensigns ; " let me introduce you to my two boys, Wildfire and Skylark ; two intractable dogs," added he, laughing ; " have given me twice the trouble to break in that you did." Wildfire and Skylark shook hands with me, and in ten minutes we were as intimate as if we had known each other for six months. " Come, mount again, Gern on," said Marpeet; " you are but a few miles from Delhi, and it is useless for you to remain here all day. Come along ; I have breakfast all ready for you at my shop ; your things, you know, can follow to-morrow ; you don't, though, appear to be overburthened with baggage, Frank, eh ? Dogs, too hah regular terrier bunnow.* Great a griff as ever, I see hah ! hah ! " We pursued our course towards cantonments, Marpeet riding in the midst of his proteges as proudly as an old gander on a green at the head of three orphan goslings. We crossed the river Jumna in a broad, square, flat- bottomed ferry-boat ; and after riding through some rich cultivation on its banks, joined a road skirting part of the ruins of ancient Delhi, which from that point exhibited a confused assemblage of ruins fort, mosque, tomb, and palace stretching far away behind us in the distance, towards what I afterwards learned was the mau- soleum of Humaioon. I was particularly struck, as I rode on, by one large desolate building, which Captain Marpeet informed me was the ancient palace of Firoze Shah. A lofty pillar of stone, something like one of the round towers of Ireland, rose out of the centre of it, whilst the whole mass of building exhibited a touching picture of loneliness and * Terrier bunnow a village pariar dog, docked and cropped to make him pass for a terrier. A A 2 356 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. desolation; long grass and the silvery roots ofthepeepul grew around the battered arches and casements, out of one of which a couple of fat and saucy jackals were peeping, to reconnoitre us as we rode beneath. We entered the modern city near the mansion of the Nawaub Ahmed Buksh Khan,* through an embattled gateway occupied by a guard of Nnjjeebs, a sort of highly picturesque militia, attired in the Hindoostanee garb, and armed and equipped with crooked-stocked matchlocks, mull shaped powder-horns, and other para- phernalia of a very primitive and extraordinary descrip- tion. These men, who were upon guard, were smoking, sleeping, and doing their best to kill old Time, that enemy who, in the long run, is pretty sure to kill us. We were soon in that part of the town called Derriow Gunge, where a portion of the troops were cantoned,t and drawing up before an odd sort of building, of a very mixed style of architecture, my friend dismounted, and announced my arrival at Marpeet Hall, " to which, my boy," said he, with a squeeze, " you are heartily welcome, and where you may stick up your spoon, with my two babes in the wood there, as long as you please ; don't blow me up, that's all, or set the house on fire, and you may do what else you like. So now for breakfast," said the captain, cracking his half-hunter (whip), as a hint, I presumed, to the bawurchee (cook) to be expeditious, and shouting " hazree looe juldee " (" breakfast quickly "), he motioned us to enter, and followed. The captain's residence had been in the olden time a mosque or tomb, I cannot exactly say which ; but with the addition of a terrace and verandah, and a few extra doors punched through walls six feet thick, it made a capital abode, combining the coolness in summer and the warmth in winter, which result from this solid mode * Whose son acquired since a dreadful celebrity as the murderer of Mr. Fraser. f Siuce this period, cantonments have been erected outside the walls of the city. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 357 of construction, with the superadded European con- veniences. My friend's house was but a type of that widespread- ing process of adaptation which is now going on throughout the East, and its inhabitants, and which, as long as it does not effect a too radical alteration of that which " nature and their stars " intended for a people so circumstanced, is much to be rejoiced at. Breakfast was laid out in a vaulted chamber, as mas- sive as a bomb-proof, the walls and roofs in compart- ments, with here and there a niche for a cheragh, or lamp. There were we, a jovial quartette, eating red herrings and rashers of the " unclean beast," where the moollah had pronounced his " Allah-il- Allah" or possibly over the respectable dust of some mighty Mogul Omrah. After breakfast, Marpeet took me to the adjutant of my new regiment a tall, strapping, good-looking man, of about eight- and- twenty, who told me I must report myself immediately to Colonel Bobbery, the commandant of my regiment, as also of the station. " You have been some time on your way up, haven't you?" said I'M adjutant, significantly; " we began to be half afraid tuut the Thugs had made away with you, or that you had gone on a pilgrimage to Hurdwar." " I fear I have exceeded my proper time very con- siderably," I replied; "but I must ascribe it to the hospitality of friends whom I met with on the way." " Well, you must settle all that," replied the adjutant, " with the colonel, who has often been inquiring for you, and to whose quarters we will now, if you please, pro- ceed." I began to feel confoundedly nervous, and to apprehend that I was now about to taste a few of the incipient sweets of military subjection. The adjutant buckled on his accoutrements, I did the like with mine, which, at Marpeet's suggestion, I had brought with me, and off we walked to the colonel's. " Bather a harsh man, the colonel, isn't he ? " said I, 358 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. as we went along, hoping to elicit a little consolation in the shape of a negative. " Why," said the adjutant, " he is certainly a great stickler for duty, and fond of working the young hands what we call a ' tight hand/" I was " floored." The colonel's bungalow was on the ramparts of the city, overlooking the Jumna, and the expanse of country through which it flows. Orderlies and a posse of silver- stick men, &c., were about the door ; we entered, and the adjutant presented me to Colonel Bobbery, one of the most extraordinary-looking little mortals I ever beheld. The colonel's height was about five feet four perhaps less and his body as nearly approaching to an oblate spheriod as any body I ever beheld. This orbicular mass was supported on two little legs, adorned with very crumpled tights, and a pair of Hessian boots, then much worn, and minus the usual appendage of tassels. His neck, which was remarkably long, was girt round with a very tight black stock, on the top of which, as may be supposed, was his head, the most extraordinary part of this very original specimen of " the human form divine ;** his front face (profile he had none, which could be pro- perly so called, bating an irregular curve with a large bulbous projection about the middle) was fat and rubi- cund ; his nose Bardolphian, flanked by two goggle-eyes, in which the several expressions of intellect, fun, and sensuality were singularly blended. A small Welsh wig completed the oddest tout ensemble Ihsid yet seen in India. " Oh ! you are the young gentleman we have been expecting for the last five months ? better late than never glad to see you at last, sir." I mentioned something about friends hospitality and detention. *' Oh, yes, yes ! I know all about that ; the old story ; yes, yes ! but you must be quicker in your future move- ments eh, Marchwell?" said he, turning to the adju- tant ; " verbum sap., you know, verbum sap." MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 359 After a rather prolonged conversation, during which I informed him I had done duty with the Zuburdust Bullumteers, and gave him some account of his friend, Mr. Sympkin, which he was pleased to receive, I rose to take my leave. " Who are you with ? '' asked the colonel. I told him with Captain Marpeet. " Oh ! my friend Marpeet, eh ? Well, tell him to dine with me to-morrow, and bring you with him. I dine at six, and wait for nohody. March well, Mr. Gernon will attend all drills, parades, and guard-mountings ; we mustn't let you forget what Colonel Lolsaug has taught you." I soon became comfortably domiciled with my friend Marpeet, who introduced me to my brother-officers, and put me generally in the way of doing all that was re- quisite in the new scene in which I found myself. The more I saw of Marpeet, the more the extreme kindness and benevolence of his disposition became apparent. The tenderness of his nature, indeed, was frequently too much for his assumed rough and devil -me- care manner (which he thought manly), and would sometimes, if he was taken by surprise, show itself with almost a woman's weakness. Marpeet, as I have before stated, from invincible shyness, or awkwardness with females, or dislike of the restraint it imposed, had renounced the character of a " ladies' man," and was evidently doomed to die an old bachelor. Still, we must all have something to love and be kind to, be it wife, child, friend, cat, dog, or parrot. Affection, if it has not something external on which to rest, turns to gall, embittering the life which, under a happier state of things, it would have sweetened. Mar- peet's benevolence displayed itself in his kindness to youth : rearing griffins, till fully fledged, constituting his extreme delight. Never shall I forget the great satisfaction which his good-humoured physiognomy would express when sur- 360 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. rounded by a bevy of young hands, all warm in their feelings towards him, and on perfect terms of familiarity, but at the same time exhibiting that profound deference to his dictum on deep and important points, such as the age of a horse, the manner of performing a manoeuvre, or the way to make mulled port, and the like, which had the most bland and soothing influence on his feelings. Skylark, Wildfire, and myself, were his immediate body-guard; we chummed with him, and though he allowed us to contribute to the house keeping expenses, the lion's share, if the phrase is here allowable, fell to him. He and I never quarrelled ; but I could generally infer the state of his feelings from the name or appellation by which he addressed me. " Gernon " and " Frankibus " were the zero and summer-heat of the scale, between which were " my lad," " young gentleman," " you con- founded griff," "youngster," and so forth ; all of which, by the invariableness of the circumstances which elicited them, indicated the state of his mind at the moment : as "Come, my lad, this noise won't do;" and "Young gentleman, I have to make out my report, and beg you won't interrupt me." "Well, old boy, how do you get on ? are you disposed for a game at picquet ? " and so forth ; but, " Come, Gernon, I don't like that," told me his back was " hogged." One blot and inconsistency there was in Marpeet's character: he was addicted to flogging his servants for what we here should deem trifling offences. On these occasions he always, however, put the offender through the form of a trial, in which, to save trouble, he acted in the quintuple capacity of plaintiff, judge, jury, witness, and counsel for the prosecution. After a dispassionate r-ummmg up, the guilty party was wont to be handed over to the kulassee, or tent-pitcher, to have administered a dozen or two of strokes with the rattan. Marpeet would justify all this severity very logically, but I shall not trouble the reader with his reasons ; certain it is, for all this, he paid his servants regularly, MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 361 was in other respects kind, and on the whole very popular with them. Not far from the Chandney Choke, the principal thoroughfare in Delhi, near which I was now located, is the Duriba, or Lombard Street, where the principal shroffs or bankers reside ; here also many venders of sweetmeats have their shops ; one of these, in my day, was a jolly fellow, who, out of compliment to his great Western prototype, was called Mr. Birch, to which name he always answered when summoned to produce some of his choicest imitations of English " sugar-plumery." I think I now see the good-natured fellow, hurrying out through his ranges of baskets with a few samples for inspection. Many a time and oft have Marpeet, I, and two or three jolly subs, after dinner, and under the agreeable stimulus of an extra dose of the rosy beverage, visited Mr. Birch, in the Duriba, all clinging to the pad of an elephant, whilst the lights blazed in the bazaars around, fakeers shouted, women chattered, and crowds of the faithful, moving hither and thither, gave a most Arabian-Nightish character to the scene. These scenes of the past come over me sometimes, when my heart is sorrowfully disposed, with a sadly- painful distinctness ; the laughing faces of those who participated in them are vividly before me, but they, "my co-mates and brothers in exile," where are they ? Alas ! with a sigh I must answer the question gone! gone! Others occupy their places; they will soon disappear to make way for more ; " and thus wags the world." Oh, life, life ! sad are thy retrospects to the best of us, and great are the trials thou hast for even him whose lot is cast in the pleasantest places ; in thy sweetest pleasures lurk the germs of thy greatest sufferings, and the more we cultivate and refine our natures, the more acutely do we feel thy sorrows ! Happy ignorance ! fortunate credulity ! blessed in- sensibility ! ye all seem to have your soothing opiates ; whilst he who girds up his loins to seek the talisman of 362 MEMOIES OF A GEIFFIN. truth from amidst its innumerable counterfeits com- pensation for the past and something like certainty for the future finds the farther he moves the less he knows, and, amazed and confounded at the profound and mighty mystery which surrounds him, at length sits down and weeps. Well may we exclain, "The ways of Heaven are dark and intricate, Puzzled in mazes and perplex'd in error, The understanding traces them in vain." Virtue, immortal plant, ye will hlossom, 'tis true, in heaven, but must ye here be ever rooted in sorrow and watered with tears ? Oh ! for some mighty intellect, some second Newton, to call order out of chaos, light out of darkness ; to hush the Babel of discordant tongues, and give to religious and moral truth that clear, convincing, and commanding aspect which shall for ever abash the various forms of perplexity and error. The awakening mind of the world demands something like unity and certainty, and will have them if they are to be had. But to proceed. One of the finest buildings in Delhi is the Jumma Musjid, the principal mosque of the place. It has three nobly-proportioned domes ; also two lofty and magni- ficent minarets, which I have often ascended, and en- joyed from their summits a noble prospect of the city and surrounding country. From this height you look down on the flat roofs of the houses, and on a fine evening may observe the in- habitants seated on them, and enjoying their favourite, though somewhat childish amusements, of flying paper kites and pigeons. The pigeons, of which the Hindoostanees are great fanciers, and possess a vast variety, are trained to join other flocks in their aerial excursions, and then, by separating from them with great velocity, to carry off some of those with which they were commingled ; these they bring back in triumph to their bamboo stands, at the call or whistle of their owners. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 363 At one extremity of the city lies the British residency, always the scene of hospitable doings, hut particularly so during the period to which I am referring. The Resident at that time was a gentleman who, with first- rate talents and solid virtues, comhined those social quali- ties which at once command what it is often difficult to unite the love and respect of all. Nothing could be more agreeable than the residency parties, and on what were called " public days," invitations were extended to every one in the shape of an European ; old Mahratta officers, Portuguese, French, and half-caste merchants, and others without the pale of the regular service, and not constituting an ordinary portion of the society, would swell the levee on such occasions. Punning, as a practice or habit, is the greatest of bores, and deserves almost all that Johnson and others have said against it; I say " almost," for I do not go the full length of that alliterative curmudgeon, when he says, " He who would make a pun would pick a pocket." Had this been true, many an accomplished Barrington would the residency of Delhi have turned out at this period, with their distinguished chief at their head. How this itch for punning got into the residency I don't know, but certain it is it did get there, and proved remarkably infectious. A good pun was a first-rate re- commendation, indeed, at the residency table, to him who made it. " Aquila non captat muscas ; " which means, " Great wits don't condescend to make puns." Granted, as a rule ; but every rule has its exception, and the Resident of that day was himself, " an the truth be spoken, but little better than one of the wicked," delight- ing to take the lead occasionally in this conversation- burking system, where a man lies in wait for his neigh- bour's words, pounces on one that suits his purpose, murders, mangles, and distorts it without remorse. Occasional puns, if really good, give a poignancy to conversation a tonquin-beanish sort of odour, which in moderation is very agreeable, but the excess of them is 364 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. odious. I remember a few of the residency puns which I think may rank with some of the fairest on re- cord. The Resident himself was once asked where he ac- quired his taste for punning ; he replied, that " he thought he must have picked it up when travelling through the Punjaub," through which country he had accompanied a mission. A fisherman, to whom he had paid handsome wages to supply him with fish, absconded. "I always considered him a very selfish man," said the Resident. One of the gates of the palace is called the " Delhi Gate," and in my time a subaltern's guard was always stationed there. A young sub, on one occasion, at the residency table, I believe, asked a friend to take his turn of duty there. " Excuse me," said his friend, " I can't be your delegate (Delhi Gate) to-day." One observed that grain in one part of the city sold for so much. "Yes," replied another, "but that is not the aggregate (Agra Gate) price." These samples may suffice. I soon began to discover the truth of the adjutant's remark, that Colonel Bobbery was fond of " working the young hands ;" for, what with morning and evening drills, parades, and attending guard-mountings, &c., I had little rest or enjoyment. The plain fact was, that I was bent on pleasure and hated duty, and the colonel, by giving me " excess on't," i.e. of the latter, seemed injudiciously determined to increase my dislike. The more I think on my early Indian career, and that of other youths, the more satisfied I am that the sudden transition from school to a state of independence is most injurious to the individual and his future happiness ; detrimental to the interest of the state and that of the people we govern ; and, in short, that school-boys are not fit to be masters of themselves or to command others. Nationally, we possess vast science and almost illimit- able powers, of destruction ; and nationally, too, we are respected; but not so much so, I think, individually. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 365 I have met with a great amount of calm, quiet, un- prejudiced good sense, much reasonableness and ration- ality, amongst the natives of India of a certain rank, and, when such are disposed to give you their confidence, nothing is more frequently the subject of remark with them than the amount of power we confide to inexperi- enced hands to mere chokras ("boys'), as they term them, and at nothing do they express more surprise. The natives of India are deeply susceptible of kind- ness, and possessed, on the whole, of fine and amiable temperaments. If Europeans on all occasions would re- gard their feelings and prejudices, which they certainly ought to do, considering how strong are their own, I verily believe that they might bind them firmly to us, that is, as far as aliens ever can be bound, and erect our power on the noblest of foundations their hearts. Still they must never be allowed to think that our kind- ness springs from fear or weakness. I am aware that the conduct of the English towards the inhabitants of India is much more conciliating than it was; still, John Bull is ever a rough subject, and too prone to employ \\iQfortiter in re, rather than the suaviter in modo. His pride prevents him from being amiable and conciliating, and however much he may be feared and respected, he has not the good luck to be loved, from the Straits of Calais to the Great Wall of China. I doubt if, in the present day, such freaks would be tolerated in a commandant as those in which our old buffer was continually wont to indulge, in order to gratify his odd and despotic feelings. Besides abusing the men ifa the most violent manner (he had a regular ascending scale a sort of gamut of Galle, i.e. Hindoo- stanee Billingsgate on which few could go higher than himself) till they trembled with rage and indignation, he would, when out of humour, carry them straight across the country, formed in line, in a steeple- chase sort of style, over banks and ditches, through standing 366 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. corn and ploughed fields, for three or four miles, as the crow flies, in a broiling sun, and then, galloping home, would leave the next in command, or adjutant, to bring them back, covered with dust and drenched with perspiration. Once or twice he marched the corps in close column into the river Jumna ; when they reached the banks there shelving they commenced marking time, which consists in moving the feet without advancing ; but the old colonel, to their astonishment, roared " Forward ! " and on we all went, till near waist-deep, when the column fell into a state of disorder; the adjutant, on one occasion, tumbled off his horse in the melee, and got a thorough soaking. The commander thought, I suppose, that, as good soldiers, we ought to be able to stand " water " as well as " fire." After I had been about a month at the station, I was put in orders as the subaltern for duty on the Delhi gate of the palace, a vast structure, occupied by the king and his relations and dependants, which duty continued for a week. Having marched my company down to the gate, I found the sub I was to relieve, with his guard drawn up, all as stiff as ramrods, to receive me. After exchanging salutes, and receiving his instructions to take proper care of the "Asylum of the Universe,"* &c., he gave the word " quick march " to his men, sent them off under the subadar, or native captain, and then proceeded to introduce me to the quarters in which I was to pass my period of guard. In passing the first archway, I found myself in an enclosure, formed by lofty walls, round the bottom of which ran a line of arcades or cloisters ; at the other end of this enclosure was another noble arch, surmounted by a vast and lofty pile of buildings, with windows and galleries ; these were the quarters of Major M., who filled the post of killadar, or commander of the fort and palace guards, a kind-hearted, hospitable, and brawny Caledonian, who, amongst other harmless eccentricities, * "Jehan Punnak," one of the titles of the Mogul. MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. . 367 entertained the most profound veneration for the " Eowyal Hoose o Teemoor" as he was wont to call it. My own quarters, to which the sub introduced me, consisted of a small turret, in an angle of the ramparts, covered with thatch, and having something the appear- ance of a bee-hive ; it contained a table and a few chairs, considerably the worse for wear, and when my cot was placed in it, there was little room left for myself. Here, then, for seven long days, I read, shot paroquets with my pellet-bow on the ramparts, cursed the heat and the flies, and conjugated the verb sennuyer to perfection, through all its moods and tenses. One interesting break occurred, and that was his Majesty Ackbar Shah's going out one day, in grand procession, to visit the tombs of his ancestors at the Kootub Minar. On this occasion my guard was drawn up within the enclosure, to salute him as he passed, whilst another company of troops, and two six-pounders, were stationed without the second archway, on the plain between it and the city, for a similar purpose. Little did I think, in my juvenile days, when I looked on the stern visage of the Great Mogul on the card covers, that I should ever have the honour of paying my respects to that fierce Saracen in proprid persona ; but so it was. I had heard much of Eastern magnifi- cence, but had never seen before, nor have I indeed since, anything that so completely realized my vague ideas of barbaric pomp, as this procession of the King of Delhi. Though there was much in it that was imperfect, and which told of reduced means and insufficient resources, it was still a most striking pageant, and, as it issued tumultuously from those noble and resounding gateways, amidst the clang of wild instruments and echoing voices, I confess I was delighted and astonished, and was able to picture most forcibly what these things must have been when the Moguls were in the zenith of their power. 368 MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. We had waited for some time, expecting his majesty to make his appearance ; when at length confused sounds and a distant hubbub announced that he was on the move ; presently, ever and anon, a cavalier, some omrah of the old noblesse, or inferior horseman, would come pricking forth from under the arch ; then another and another; then steeds curveting and caracoling, and covered with rich housings and silver ornaments. After this came his majesty's regiment of Nujjeebs, hurrying forth, a wild-looking body of bearded Mahomedan sol- diery, armed with matchlocks and shields, and attired in dark chupkuns, or vests, and red turbans ; next came his camel corps, each man with a little pattereroe, or swivel gun, on the bow of his camel's saddle, ramming down and blazing away at a furious rate. By the way, I was told that, on one of these occa- sions, a fellow, in his hurry, shot off his camel's head. After these followed a confused assemblage of chiefs on horseback, a knightly train ; their steeds, half-painted vermilion or saffron colour, adorned with silver chains, and housings almost touching the ground, some of them composed of the silvery chowries, or Tartarian cows' tails ; mingled with these were litters, with dome-like canopies and gilded culesses, containing ladies of the harem, with numerous attendants. The uproar now increased, and a numerous body of men followed on foot, bearing crescents, green standards, golden fish on poles, and other insignia of the royal dignity ; all loudly shouting forth the now empty titles of the fallen monarch. These, his immediate avant- couriers, were followed by the king himself, seated on an enormous elephant, covered with a superb jhool, or housings, of crimson velvet; the huge tusks of the monster being adorned with silver rings, whilst his head was painted with crimson and yellow ochres, in bars and flourishes, like the face of a North American savage, when arrayed for battle. The king, Ackbar Shah the Second, an aged and ven- MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. 869 erable man, adorned with jewels and aigrettes in his turban, sat immovable in a silver howdah, looking straight before him, neither to the right nor left, up nor down (for it is considered beneath the dignity of the " Son of the Sun and Moon " to notice sublunary matters), whilst his youngest and favourite son Mirza Selim, a youthful and handsome man, sat behind him, slowly waving over his head a chowry, or fan, formed of the tail of the peacock. His majesty's elephant was fol- lowed by many others, more or less superbly decorated, bearing his relations, and the various officers and de- pendants of the court. The assemblage of these vast animals, the litters, horsemen, and multitudinous array, combined with the Moresque buildings around, so admirably in keeping, altogether constituted to my mind a perfect scene of romance, which it took me two sides of foolscap pro- perly to describe for the gratification of my friends at home. I pictured to myself, I remember, as I wrote that account, the delight it would cause when read by my mother to the fireside circle in the little green parlour, whilst old Thomas, our lame footman, lingered, with the kettle in his hand, to catch some of Master Frank's account of the '* Great Mowgul in the Heast Hingies." Well, time wore on ; some months had elapsed, dur- ing which nothing very particular had occurred, except- ing that I received a letter from the charming widow, announcing that my kind friend, the old general, had at last gone to his long home. It was an admirable epistle, written with all that proper feeling which such an event would naturally call forth in the breast of an accomplished woman and affectionate daughter. It breathed a spirit of resigna- tion, and contained many beautiful, though not very new, reflections touching the frail tenure of existence, and of that inevitable termination of it which is alike the lot of us all. * B B 370 MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. The general, she said, had not forgotten me in his parting moments, but sent me his blessing, with a hope that I would not forget his advice, and would strive to emulate my uncle, who seemed, indeed, to have been his model of a cavalier. In conclusion, she stated that she was about to join some relations who were coming to the Upper Provinces, and hoped she might have an opportunity shortly of re- newing my acquaintance, and of assuring me in person that she was "mine very truly." Yes, mine very truly! I saw I was booked for the widow, and began to put more faith than ever in the Chinese doctrine of invisible attraction. " Let me see," said I " the widow is two- and- twenty, I eighteen ; when I'm two-and- twenty, she will be six- and- twenty." Oh, 'twill do admirably ! what matters a little disparity ? " So I whistled Lillabulero, after the manner of my uncle Toby, concluding affettuoso And around the dear ruin each w:sh of my heart Shall entwine itself verdantly still. " Captain Marpeet," said I, one day, after breakfast, " I shall to-morrow have been just one year in the coun- try, and according to the Lex Griffiniensis I shall be no longer a greenhorn." " Have you, my boy ? Why bless my life ! so you have, I declare ; then by the piper that played before Moses, I'll have a few friends to meet you, and we'll make a day of it. You've never seen a nautch, I believe ; we'll have Chumbailie and Goolabie* and all that set a devilled turkey, and a glorious blow-out." Marpeet was as good as his word ; he posted off chits (invitations) to a dozen choice spirits; ordered a fat sheep to be killed, which had been six months on gram ; bought the best ham to be had in cantonments, and a turkey for its vis-a-vis ; ordered half a chest of claret, * Jasmin and Rose-water ; female names. MEMOIKS OF A GRIFFIN. 371 and beer to be tundakurred (cooled) ; sent his bearer to bespeak a tip-top set of nautcb- girls, and then, slap- ping me on the back, exclaimed, " Now, Frank, my boy, we are all right and tight, and your griffinage shall close with a flourish of trum- pets/' On the following day the guests assembled at dinner, and the old mosque resounded with the echoes of our revelry and mirth. Marpeet certainly boxed the kansa- mah * for omitting the pigeon-pie, and ordered the cook half-a-dozen rattans for underboiling the ham ; but, on the whole, he was in splendid key. Evening at length approached ; more young officers came in ; the wall shades were lighted, and chairs ar- ranged in a semicircle ; teapoys, port, mint, claret, were all moojood (present), when the curtain was rolled up, and a bevy of as pretty gazelle-eyed damsels, arrayed in robes of sky-blue, crimson and gold, bedecked with rings and chains, and redolent of oil of Chumbailie, as I ever saw, entered the apartment in stately guise, followed by sundry old duennas, and four or five rakish looking musicians, with embroidered skull-caps, long raven ring- lets, and slender ungirdled waists, bearing some of the funniest looking musical instruments ever seen since the days of Orpheus. After some excruciating tuning, thrumming, and twist- ing of keys, a couple of young sirens, fair Mogulanees, whose languishing eyes shone brightly through their antimonial borders, broke forth into a song, advancing with hands extended and slow movements of the feet, their anklet-bells jingling harmoniously the " goongroo ka aivaz" by the way, a music on which the Indian poet loves to expatiate. As the song and the movement quickened, the heads of the fiddlers worked ecstatically, whilst they sawed away at their outlandish fiddles with surprising energy and vigour. Marpeet was in raptures ; he considered nautches su- * Butler. 372 MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN. perior to all the operas in the universe, and thought he could hardly ever have enough of them. The " Cahar ca nautch" or " dance of the bearer," a favourite in India, was now called for loudly, and the prettiest girl of the set, retiring a little on one side, and twisting a turban saucily round her head, after the fashion of that order of menial, and otherwise arranging her attire into a somewhat similar resemblance to the other parts of their dress, darted forward arms a-kimbo, a la Vestris, and danced an animated lilt, something of the nature of a Highland fling. Eapturous were the "bravos " of the officers, and the "waul waus!" of the natives. The girl's excitement increased with the applause ; the fiddlers worked like heroes, whilst the doog-doogie man, or drummer, pegged away at his long drum, till, flushed and ex- hausted, she made her salaam, and retired within the circle amidst renewed plaudits. This was followed by " Mootrib-i koosh," " songster sweet," and other Persian and Hindostanee airs, not forgetting " Sarrai teen pisa muchlee" i.e., " three ha'- porth of fish," by way of finale* till at length the danc- ing grew languid; the hookas bubbled faintly, and Mar- peet, starting up, dismissed the dancers, and we all adjourned to do honour to the devilled turkey's legs and a saucepan of mulled port, of Marpeet's own brew- ing. Enlivened by the change, the song and the toast went round, and Marpeet, who was half-seas-over, sung us, "Dear Tom, this brown jug, which now foams with mild ale," in his very best style ; and, by particular request I war- bled " The Woodpecker." " Franco, your health and song, my boy," said my friend, rising on his legs ; " and now, gentlemen (hiccup}, I am about to propose the toast of the evening, and one which, I am sure, you'll all diink with as much pleasure MEMOIES OF A GRIFFIN. 373 (hiccup] as I have in giving it : gentlemen, off with your heel-taps ; are you all charged ? Wildfire, pass the bottle. Gentlemen, I am now about to propose the health of a young friend of mine, whom I consider in some respects a chick of my own rearing. We came out together, and I take credit for having made him the good fellow you all find him (hiccup). This is the last day of his griffinage, and to-morrow he is one of us old hands. Gentlemen, I give you, standing, with three times three, long life, health, and success to our friend, Frank Gernon, the griffin. Hip ! hip ! hurrah ! " Woodfall and Kinder, Printers, Milford Lane, Strand, London, W.C. WM. H. ALLEN & Co., 13, WATERLOO PLACE, LONDON. Pilchard's Chronicles of Budgepore, &c. ; Or Sketches of Life in Upper India. 2. Vols. Foolscap 8vo, 12s. " To those who know little- of the aspects of social life in India, and to those who are already acquainted with it, Mr. Prichard's book will be equally interesting ; and amongst its graphic and amusing sketches there is much that it may be worth while to remember in connection with some of the most awful of those tragic events that have darkened the History of British Empire in the East. " Illustrated Times. Twenty-One Days in India 3 being the Tour of SIR AM BABA, K.C.B. By GEORGE ABEEIGH-MACKAY. Post 8vo, 4s. "Mr. Mackay's satire and humour possess a rare charm, and he indulges in a wealth of literary allusions which all readers of culture will appreciate." Academy. 11 The papers are written in a sparkling style, and a keen vein of humour runs through them all." The Pen. Akbar, an Eastern Romance. By Dr. P. A. S. VAN LIMBURG-BROUWER. Translated from the Dutch by M. M. 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