EVERYBOY AND OTHER, PLAYS FOR. CHILDREN ISABEL ANDERSON Friday MRS. LARZ ANDERSON WELD AVON STREET BROOKLINE, MASS. Dear Mr Stetsonlt was very pleasant indeed to hear from you again and I wish we met oftener . Inregard to the Little Theatre in the Elizebeth Peabody Play house . I wish i could help but as 1 am in Boston so little and there are several such undertakings 1 do not feel I can at present . Mrs Jay with Emerson College students will give a play of mine with music by Mrs Julia Ward Howe on December 14 the and 21 st a Xmas play for children . I am sending you my book of childrens plays they are very simple many of them have been acted however but however some time you might hear of some one wanting some such little play y and in that case if I am in Boston would be glad to help out if it was given . How I wish we could ha ve seen you act at the Footlights I know how very well UNIVERSITY J -1 rH ctf XJ 03 c , . ^ O . to P ra t H c5 C bD 03 C w e 03 CO ft O e Merry Jerry leaves Neptune's palace to return to his home. (See page 85). EVERYBOY AND OTHER. PLAYS FOR CHILDREN BY ISABEL ANDERSON WITH ILLVSTRATIONS BY JVNIVS CRAVENS THE SHAKESPEARE PRESS 114 E. 28th Street New York 1914 Copyright, 1914, By ISABEL ANDERSON I DEDICATE THESE LITTLE PLAYS WITH LOVE TO MY VERY DEAR MOTHER AUTHOR'S PREFACE The popular demand for little plays to be acted by children or by grown-up people impersonating children has induced me to arrange these plays for school-room use, private theatricals, or out-door per- formances. In the initial piece, Everyboy, produced at Keith's Bijou Theater, Boston, in December, 1913, Mr. Carl Wilmore's verses and music added greatly to its suc- cess, and he has kindly let me insert the former, and a few bars of the latter, in this book. I want to thank Mr. Arthur Weld for his attractive music for King Foxy, some of which is in this book, and Mr. Prescott W. Cookingham for his music for Merry Jerry. I am indebted to Mr. John Loud for his songs for Little Madcap's Journey, and to Mrs. John Elliott for Mrs. Julia Ward Howe's delightful music for the Mother Goose rhymes used in this play. Any of the music for these four plays may be had by applying to me. If some of the verses seem irregular, it is because they had to be set to special music. Experience has shown that familiar tunes are gen- erally popular, so it has been thought best, in the other four plays, to leave the selection of airs suit- able to verses and audience to the discretion of the manager. But while the music should be familiar, it is important that it should not be old, except in the case of Gilbert and Sullivan's operas, which are al- most classic, and a few other old-time favorites. Much attention has been given to the present vogue for dancing. The tango music used by Mme. Pavlowa, Tchaikowsky's Cossack music, and the fairy music from Mendelssohn's "Midsummer Night's Dream," could all be used effectively. For slower measures, Paderewski's and Beethoven's min- uets are suitable. In the matter of costumes, I think paper ones may be used in all these plays. Paper is an excellent medium, and lends itself with admirable effect to stage decorations, as well as to dresses, at a trifling cost. I wish to express my indebtedness to u Happy Land," "Little Folks" and the "National Magazine" for allowing me to reprint the plays which have already appeared in their pages. CONTENTS PAGE EVERYBOY II KING FOXY OF MUIR GLACIER 39 LITTLE DOUBT 57 MERRY JERRY 73 THE GEE WHIZ 89 JUSTICE WHISKER'S TRIAL 103 THE WITCH OF THE WOODS 117 LITTLE MADCAP'S JOURNEY 131 "I like what you have brought me. I want a thousand of them." EVERYBOY A Morality Play in One Act Characters : EVERYBOY Nature Knowledge Art Truth Obedience Anger Conceit Greedy Boy The Five Senses Sight, Touch, Taste, Smell and Hearing SONGS AND DANCES FOR "EVERYBOY" Song, by Nature "Everyboy, Awake !" Flute solo and dance, by the Five Senses. Song and dance, by Greedy Boy. Boxing, with music, by Everyboy and Greedy Boy. Song and dance, by Conceit "Why Can't They Be Like Me?" Duet, by Truth and Obedience. Dance, by Art. Dance (wild), by Anger. Fencing, with music and colored lights. EVERYBOY A MORALITY PLAY IN ONE ACT (A gray curtain hides the stage from the audi- ence. In front of it and at either side are two antique chairs where Knowledge and Nature sit when not taking part. They enter before the curtain rises, one from the left, the other right. Nature is dressed in green and white and carries a cornucopia filled with fruit and flowers, while Knowledge wears a robe and scholar's cap of purple velvet and carries a large book under his arm. Nature enters first and speaks the prologue.) PROLOGUE Good friends and kind, come listen all, And learn the things which do befall Within the head of Everyboy When he awakes to pain and joy. As these gray curtains start to rise You'll see before your wondering eyes The inside of his head displayed. i 4 EVERYBOY Now yours like Everyboy's is made. His joys are yours, his troubles, too, And what he learns is good for you. I, Nature, Mother of the Earth, Am friend of Everyboy from birth; I give him all his Senses Five; I make him glad that he's alive; I build for him this world so fair To give outright into his care. But yonder cometh Knowledge bold, With learned look and volume old. Ho, Knowledge! What have you to say For Everyboy, who wakes to-day? (Knowledge enters) KNOWLEDGE (bows) Greetings, Madam Na- ture. I have come to add my gift to those you have bestowed on Everyboy. NATURE And what is your gift, good Knowledge? KNOWLEDGE Mine is the gift of gifts, for I would help him use that which you have already given him. I would teach him to build ships to sail upon your seas, to make wings to fly among your clouds, to invent machines to help him with his work upon the land. I would teach him to be master of himself, so that he may be happy wher- ever he is, whether it is on the land or the sea or in the sky. EVERYBOY 15 NATURE Indeed, sir, you do bring a gift of gifts. Without yours, mine would all be useless. KNOWLEDGE But first, let me see this Everyboy; he may not be worthy of my trouble. Can you show him to me? (A picture of Everyboy is thrown on a screen which is let down for a moment before the curtains.) KNOWLEDGE A manly little lad I like him. But still I can't be sure till I have seen the inside of that curly head of his. NATURE Everyboy is still asleep in a big poppy, but I will show you what is in his head. If you will step aside, we'll lift the curtain of his mind and look within. There in their places you will see his vices and his virtues, waiting till he wakes. KNOWLEDGE Sleepy-head in Poppyland and dreaming, too, no doubt, for poppies bring de- lightful dreams. (The curtain rises on a stage hung with soft gray draperies across the back and in a series of flies at either side in such a way as to form niches or cells for the Vices and Virtues. In the center of the stage, back, is a large red poppy, about which the Five Senses are lying, their green costumes giving them the effect of leaves. While Nature sings, the poppy slowly opens, disclosing Everyboy; he is still half asleep, and his Senses unawakened, but he begins to grope about and feel his way.) i 6 EVERYBOY Awakening of Everyboy Word8 and Music by Nature CARL WILMORE jhhi j'l r p u"n* r 'r^ J '"P iP-f-tR^ Sleep-y head of sleep - y lad, Thouehtsand sen-ses slum-bcr- ing, NATURE (sings) Sleepy head of sleepy lad, Thoughts and senses slumbering, Neither glad and neither sad, Night's long hours you're numbering; Still you've slept quite long enough, Baby dreams will bore you: Ope your eyes and look about- All the world's before you ! FOICES Nature is calling Awake! Everv-Bov Words and Music by Nature ' CARL WILMORE f' N *~\\- If f I Ev - 'ry - boy! Ev - 'ry - boy I Cause of grief and cause of joy. NATURE (The gloom slowly dispels) Ev'ryboy ! Ev'ryboy ! Cause of grief, and cause of joy! Full of fairy fancies, Full of dreams and dances ! Sleepyhead ! Sleepyhead! EVERYBOY 17 Brown or black or blond or red! Time you were awaking, Sweet Dawn of Youth is breaking! VOICES Ev'ryboy ! Ev'ryboy ! Cause of grief, and cause of joy ! Full of fairy fancies, Full of dreams and dances! Sleepyhead ! Sleepyhead ! Brown or black or blond or red ! Time you were awaking, Baby dreams forsaking, Dawn of Youth is breaking, Boy! Awake ! Awake ! Awake ! Ev'ryboy ! (Hearing is a young boy or girl in tights, with "very big ears. He carries a bag marked "Sounds of all kinds." He plays on different instruments dur- ing the play, and makes, at his pleasure, noises that suit the moment. Touch is in the same red or green costume, as are all the Senses. Smell wears a mask and has a huge red nose. In his hand he holds two bottles, on one of which is written "Good Smell" and on the other "Bad Smell." Taste also wears a mask, i 8 EVERYBOY and has a long tongue which he blows out and in as occasion requires, and each time after the tongue is seen he shuts up his lips with a loud smack. Sight wears big goggles, and carries field glasses strapped over his shoulder. Some of the Senses also carrying appropriate presents. They should be grotesque and amusing. The Senses must all be wide-awake and alert in their conversation and action. They play tricks dur- ing the act. Hearing plays the flute. The five Senses dance about Everyboy. When not speaking or other- wise engaged, they sit cross-legged at the back of the stage.) Nature and Knowledge look on. THE FIVE SENSES We are Everyboy's five senses. We are going to make him into a real boy. ( To Everyboy) We are going to wake you up. (They bow as Everyboy climbs from poppy.) TOUCH (Turning to Everyboy) I am your friend, be not afraid Everyboy. I have brought you some presents, feel them. Here are smooth silk, soft velvet; feel the difference (handing them to Every- boy). And here are a round ball and cube. I give you the wonderful power of touch. EVERYBOY Very good you are; yes, each present feels quite different. How strange ! A thousand thanks ! What fun I shall have with this splendid ^ gift! SIGHT (A sharp, keen fellow, touching Everyboy' s eyes) Now you can see ! I have brought you gems, all the colors of the rainbow. Here are jewels, bright with red and green, blue and purple, and EVERYBOY 19 if you look about you will see these colors everywhere, in the sky, in the trees, and in the flowers. The gift of sight is a precious one, and you must be careful of it. It will save you many a fall. (Hands glasses to Every boy.) These will help you see even farther and clearer. EVERYBOY (Puts glasses to his eyes and looks into audience.) Great, what a fine old world! Oh, thanks! (This is a good moment for jokes about people in the audience.) SIGHT You will find all kinds of interesting peo- ple, too, in this head of yours, if you will turn and look at them. (He points. Lights grow brighter.} Nature, Art, Greedy Boy, Miss Conceit, Anger, Obedience, Truth. But the most important person to be in your head isn't there. He's outside. We must get him in he's Knowledge. He is Mon- arch of the City of Thought, in the Kingdom of Delight. You had better take a good look at him. ( They bow as they are pointed out and then they disappear in their cells. The characters go in and out of their cells as they are wanted. Nature and Knowledge sit in the chairs on either side of the stage when not acting. Hearing gives a blast of his trum- pet.} HEARING How do you like that? EFERYBOY Jolly 1 Give us another. HEARING I have many instruments that make mu- sic. I can make gay times and sad ones, and there 20 EVERYBOY are many other sounds. Listen to the birds. If you prick up your ears you will hear strange melo- dies. (He whistles like a bird.} EVERY BOY How pretty! How do you do it? HEARING Listen again insects this time do you hear them buzzing? EVERY BOY Sure! I hope it won't bite. I hear him all right. HEARING Do you know what this is ? ( Growls like a bear. ) EFERYBOY Jiminy! It frightens me! HEARING It's a bear! ( The bird, mosquito and bear can appear on the stage and dance, if wanted. They try to attack Every boy. Hearing protects him.) HEARING They have all gone now. Here comes my brother Smell with his gifts. SMELL (Dances impishly before Every boy, flourish- ing his bottles of good and bad smells.) You can have any smell you want bad odors from the town. If you insist, perfume from the garden, the freshness of the mountain air, or the cool earthy breath of the woods. Try this this is musk, a fine lady must have been about. (Makes a face.) Here's bay rum a fine gentleman's been about. This is incense. That's the odor of sanctity. EFERYBOY (Sniffing) What a good smell! I can't get enough of it. TASTE (Carrying a basket, comes forward, elbowing EVERYBOY 21 Smell aside smacking his lips, and putting his tongue out and in.) Here are things for you to taste animal and vegetable, solids and liquids, some from nature, some made by man. (Holds up stick of candy in one hand, and a lemon in the other.) Sweet and sour. (Gives basket to Everyboy.) But beware ! you must not eat all these at one time, you know. EVERYBOY (Drinks) Great! that's good. (Be- gins to eat.) Bully ! I like what you have brought me. I want a thousand of them. (Holds up a bun. Touch calls Greedy Boy, who waddles out of his cell and up to Everyboy, stuffing food into his mouth with both hands; he looks an absurd fat fig- ure, his pockets bursting with buns. Greedy Boy always talks with his mouth full. He is like the fat boy you knew at school.) EVERYBOY What a funny boy! Shall I make friends with you? What's your name, anyway? GREEDY BOY I am just Greedy Boy. Greedy Boy Words and Music by CARL WILMORE I'm just as greed-y as I can be, I love to gob-ble up all I see, And when Ive guz-zk'd up * j IT all in sight, My lit tie turn-ay feels just bout right! 22 EVERYBOY GREEDY BOY (sings) I'm just as greedy as I can be, I love to gobble up all I see; When I have guzzled up all in sight, My little tummy feels just 'bout right! I just love pudd'n', and pie, and prunes, And jam, and jelly, and macaroons, And cake, and custard, and cream, and crust. If I don't stop it, some day I'll bust! Umm! People call me Greedy Boy, Eating is my only joy, But no matter how I stuff, I can't seem to get enough ! You may think I've got a gall, 'Cause I always want it all: That's why people always call me Greedy, Greedy Boy ! Umm ! Greedy, Greedy Boy ! Umm! EVERYBOY So you are Greedy Boy, are you? And I s'pose you've come because I asked for more than is good for me. Are buns your favorites, too? GREEDY BOY I like all good things to eat. Don't you? Follow me and I will take you to Greedy Land, where there is a palace of colored candies EVERYBOY 23 that sits on a high hill of vanilla ice cream. There is a wall around the palace grounds, too, and it is made of buns. EVERY EOT Well, I should just like to have a peep in there. What a great place it must be ! TOUCH If you follow him you will grow fat and dull. Beware ! The way to the Kingdom of Delight does not lie through Greedy Land. GREEDY BOY Don't pay any attention to him. I'll tell you more about Greedy Land. (He recites.) The moon is a green apple, The sun is a squash pie; With them I like to grapple; I'll eat them till I die; I sometimes have an ache, So eat, please, for my sake. My hills are made of candy And roads are made of gum, My country it is dandy, It's there we make things hum; Oh, go to Greedy Land, I tell you it is grand. I'm a greedy boy and I don't care a whoop ! I like my buns and I like my soup, I like my cream and I like my cake, I'm a rollicking, frollicking, fat old fake ! 24 EVERYBOY GREEDY BOY If you like hazel nuts you had better start to gather them, for there is a witch who lives by the Blackwater River, and she gathers them every night, so after the first of September there is not one left. (Everyboy tries different things and is pleased or disgusted as the case may be, while Taste jumps about delightedly, sticking his tongue in and out.) EVERYBOY (Looks at Greedy Boy thoughtfully) But if I go on eating and eating I shall be fat like you, and I shall never get to the Kingdom of Delight, where the clever people live. (Holds on to his sides.) Oh dear, oh dear! I have a pain already. Where is my mother? I don't want you for a friend at all get out of here, you stupid fellow ! (Boxes with Greedy Boy, who rolls into a corner. Touch is much excited and dances about. Everyboy feels his own arms.) Pretty good mus- cles ! (Throws out his chest, swaggers about.) (Miss Conceit flounces forward, a thin old maid absurdly dressed; she courtesies, bridles and smirks.) EVERY BOY Who are you? Well, can't you speak? TOUCH She is too stuck-up to speak. She has come because you are too proud of your muscles. Her name is Conceit, and she is worse even than Greedy Boy. You will never get anywhere if you follow her, Everyboy. MISS CONCEIT (Sings) I freely confess that I'm rather conceited: EVERYBOY 25 I seldom reply when by people I'm greeted; I think I'm above any argument heated, The worse I behave, all the better I'm treated; It's scarcely worth while to be pleasant to people, I carry my nose in the air, like a steeple, There's some who may say that I haven't much sense, But there's none will deny that my head is immense ! But why should I care for the scorn of the rest? Am I not quite as elite as the best? The little that there is to know, I think I know it all; And common folks, like mice and snails, to me seem very small; Of course, I know I'm beautiful: so clever and so bright I frequently feel sorry for the girl who is a fright! And when I see my other friends, so stale and so passe, I thank my stars that I am not of ordinary clay! It's true : my winning ways, my smile, my style straight from Paree Are perfect! And I often think to myself why can't they be like me? EFERYBOY (Picks up glasses, as Miss Conceit flounces away) Goodness gracious, what a world this is! Why, I see other people here. Who are those pretty girls in gray? 26 EVERYBOY (Touch dances over to Truth and Obedience; they are two Quaker maidens dressed in gray.) TRUTH (Shaking her finger at Everyboy) Thee must never tell a lie, little Everyboy. EVERYBOY Oh, you are Truth, are you? Then you're not always at the bottom of the well, as they say you are. You're a first-class girl, almost as good as a boy. Stay here, I want to make friends with you. OBEDIENCE (With a stern look] Mind thy mother, child; didn't thy mother tell thee to let Conceit and Greedy Boy alone? (Duet by Truth and Obedience.) TRUTH We are very respectable people, Not half as bad as we're painted; OBEDIENCE Yet there's very few people who know us Or try to become acquainted; TRUTH We're not a bit backward and not a bit slow OBEDIENCE Yet, somehow or other, we're not in the go TRUTH To tell you the truth, after all that we know, We're not a bit sorry it's so ! Quite so ! EVERYBOY 27 OBEDIENCE Some folks think we are simply atrocious, By them we're scornfully slighted: TRUTH But, you see, it would hardly be proper To go where we're not invited ! OBEDIENCE It would be most impolite To go where we're not invited! BOTH Truth is a very common thing, And yet it's very rare; Obedience lives next door to Truth, But very few know where, Know where ! TRUTH To those who don't know us We're stern and severe; OBEDIENCE Our friends always think we are darling, Darling and dear; TRUTH We're very good company, lots of fun, OBEDIENCE Yet some, when they see us, begin to run. TRUTH We can't understand this desire to shun BOTH Why do people declare we bore? 28 EVERYBOY TRUTH She- OBEDIENCE and my sister BOTH Who lives next door ! EFERYBOY Oh, fudge! you are too slow! (Everyboy looks through glasses at Know- ledge.) KNOWLEDGE (center) See, this is the key to the Kingdom of Delight ! It isn't every boy who knows enough to look for me; they often have to be picked up and brought to me by main force. You may think you're having a good time, but you are getting too old for tomfoolery. Come with me and I will introduce you to people who dwell in my Kingdom of Delight. You will find Robinson Crusoe there, and King Arthur with his knights, and many others whom you will like to know. EFERYBOY That sounds rather well. (To Obedience) Tell me what you know of this Knowledge. OBEDIENCE He is a very wise man, Everyboy. EFERYBOY (To the Senses) Is he a great friend of yours? SENSES (Getting up and bowing in a row} Yes, he often helps us. GREEDY BOY Well, he's no friend of mine; you EVERYBOY 29 don't want to go with him, Everyboy. He is tire- some and keeps you at work all day long, they say, and as for eating why, I don't believe he knows what it is to make a good square meal ! TRUTH Don't listen to Greedy Boy. The King- dom of Delight is a wonderful place. You would have a good time there. There boys grow into interesting men. GREEDY BOY (Sobs) I beg you not to go with him, Everyboy ! Just think of the buns you will miss ! And I shall have to stay behind. EVERYBOY Buns! I won't have buns there? I don't believe I will go. It's pretty good right here. KNOWLEDGE But I can tell you such beautiful stories, if you will only come with me all about Bluebeard and Jack the Giant Killer and Treasure Island you will like them much better than buns. You won't need to come alone, either. The Senses will follow, I know; they are fine fellows. EVERYBOY What do you think about my going with Knowledge to this Kingdom of Delight? HEARING If you really like him and he likes you, some day you may become a great man. EVERYBOY Maybe I'd better think about it, then. KNOWLEDGE But, after all, I don't know whether you can follow me very far. You haven't waked up half your thoughts, yet. I see them standing there. Don't you know they ought to be your servants, everyone of them? Are you master? You can't go with me until you are. 30 EVERYBOY EFERYBOY Oh dear! oh dear! Now that you think I can't go with you, of course I want to go dreadfully to see what your books can tell me ! KNOWLEDGE Yes, but you must learn some lessons first. For one thing, your spelling is very bad, I know. EFERYBOY Spelling is just too stupid for any- thing! If I must work, I think you might give me something more interesting than that to do. (Looks about, scratches his head.) But isn't this a queer state of affairs? Here I am looking into my own head and watching my own thoughts take shape and come to life! (Touch is dancing about, Thoughts are getting lively. Greedy Boy and Miss Conceit push Truth and Obedience to one side.) (Art is a girl, dressed in Greek robes, with a laurel wreath upon her head. Knowledge introduces her to Everyboy. She dances and afterwards offers a paint brush and then a chisel to Everyboy, who refuses to take them.) ART Then try my pen, Everyboy. I am sure you can write. Write me an essay on Girls, to begin with! (Everyboy takes pen and paper and scribbles and smiles, then returns them to Art as Miss Conceit flounces forward again and courtesies.) EFERYBOY This is what a naughty boy said about girls : EVERYBOY 31 "Girls is sisters of boys and has long hare, wares dresses and powder, fust girl was called Christmas Eve though I never could tell why. Most every fam- ily has one girl and some of 'em that is in hard luck has two or three; we have a girl of ours who is my sister. Girls grow older and get younger. My sister has been twenty-five for three years, and some day we may be twins. Girls play the pianner and talk about each other. Fat girls want to be thin, and thin girls want to be fat and all of 'em want to marry doods. Why the Lord made girls nobody knows, but I think it were to go to church and eat ice cream. There is three kinds of girls brunnet girls, blond girls and them that has money." (Art laughs.) ART Perhaps you can play, Everyboy, like this. (Gives harp solo.) EVERYBOY (tries, and stamps his foot angrily.) By jinks! In my hands it makes nothing but bad noises. (Hearing is much excited. Touch wakes Anger and he gives sword dance. Costume of red and gold tights with flames hanging from legs.) TRUTH Why does thee allow Anger to wake up in thee? He makes trouble wherever he goes, and so do Conceit and Greedy Boy. They are not good companions. Send them away. Anger is very dan- gerous, he will never lead thee to the Kingdom of Delight. 32 EVERYBOY ANGER (who is excitable) You don't want me? Perhaps you think I like Truth and Obedience any better than they like me! (He stamps his foot and shakes his fist and dances.) (Everyboy holds his head in his hands.) GREEDY BOY O, don't worry! What's the use? Let's have some fun right now and lots of things to eat. EFERYBOY I wonder if your kind of fun is worth while. (Stamps his foot. Greedy Boy turns away.) ANGER If Greedy Boy does not play with you, I at least come quickly at your bidding, Everyboy. EFERYBOY Yes (sharply), quickly and often, and generally when I am not looking for you. You al- ways get me into trouble. Where are Obedience and Truth? GREEDY BOY I was your friend once, and I heard you call the Virtues tiresome. Is it possible that my master no longer finds pleasure in my company either? To be sure, the very young and the very old are my especial friends. EVERYBOY You made me ill once, with all your food and drink. GREEDY BOY (with finger in his mouth) I wish I had some green apples this very minute. (Anger hands out fencing swords. All the actors are on the stage, noise and movement.) EFERYBOY I am hungry, too. I would like an apple myself. (Greedy Boy beams and gives an EVERYBOY 33 apple to Everyboy, who stands apart eating, and looks on the antics of the others. The Virtues and Vices fence. Colored lights.) EVERYBOY (Throwing the apple away) Who is my friend? Who is my enemy? The Vices are fighting again, and in earnest this time. (Confusion.) GREEDY BOY I'll stuff Everyboy with mushrooms till he looks like a pig. CONCEIT I'll puff him up with conceit till he looks like a frog. ANGER I'll redden his face and put fire in his eyes till he looks like a dragon. (They gather around him and dance in a ring, pulling him about.) NATURE The time has come, Everyboy, for you to choose your friends and the road you wish to travel. GREEDY BOY Come with us, Everyboy, we are the Vices. We will lead you to every pleasure. TRUTH Beware! Thee must stand by us, Every- boy. Virtues wear best. Try us and thee will see. EVERYBOY (links arms with Greedy Boy and Conceit and dances.) I guess these are my best friends. After all, a fellow must have some fun. KNOWLEDGE Take care, Everyboy! You do not know what you are doing. I know them well. (Pointing.} They are a bad lot, they will lead you 34 EVERYBOY astray. Listen, boy. They are already plotting to kill you. ANGER (laughing exultantly) He's ours already ! The Vices have him ! You can't stop our taking him ! (They gather around Every boy, clutching at him.) EVERYBOY What is the matter? What is all this about? THE VICES He's ours. Who can take him from us? We won't waste time. We are hungry. Let us kill him now! (Anger draws a knife. Everyboy rushes about the stage with the Vices after him.) ANGER Who can save him from us? ( The Virtues remain motionless.) NATURE He alone can save himself. EVERYBOY Help! Help! KNOWLEDGE Did I hear you calling? This comes of letting your bad thoughts master you. EVERY BOY My thoughts do not obey me, but I will be master here. (He shakes off the Vices, takes the knife and throws it away.) ( The Vices slink away and turn their backs on the audience. All the characters gather, center.} KNOWLEDGE You have learned your first les- son. Here is your reward the golden key to the Kingdom of Delight. (Hands Everyboy the key.) (Tableau: Everyboy, center; Knowledge and Nature on either side. Chorus sings :) EVERYBOY 35 FINALE Ev'ryboy ! Ev'ryboy ! Cause of grief, and cause of joy Full of fairy fancies, Full of dreams and dances ! Sleepyhead ! Sleepyhead ! Brown or black or blond or red ! Time you were awaking, Baby dreams forsaking, Dawn of Youth is breaking, Boy! Awake ! Awake ! Awake ! Ev'ryboy ! CURTAIN. 36 EVERYBOY (Knowledge comes before the curtain and recites.) EPILOGUE Now Everyboy has won the key, So he shall sally forth with me Unto the Kingdom of Delight, Which after all is here to-night And everywhere, if you'll but look Within the leaves of this my book. So now, kind friends, the play is done. Good luck and health to every one ! "My Queen, the most precious jewel in the palace!" KING FOXY OF MUIR GLACIER A Play in Two Scenes Characters : KING FOXY, King of Muir Glacier. Old Sour Dough, A Hunter. Blue Nose, ) ^, . ^ r~ , > Lhier Gnomes. Long looth, ] The Queen of the Waterfall. Chorus: Gnomes, Water Fairies, Indians and Bears. SONGS AND DANCES FOR "KING FOXY" Foxy's Entrance March, by the Gnomes. Dance by Indians. Emergency, by Sour Dough. Beware, by Long Tooth. Dance by Gnomes. Water Fairies' Song. Foxy Boy. (Another version of this play, adapted to elab- orate production, with additional songs and stage directions, may be had in manuscript on application.) KING FOXY OF M U 1 R GLACIER Scene One King Foxy's palace, Muir Glacier: A strange room with walls of ice on which hang skins of seal, otter and the brown glacier bear, heads of caribou, the horned bull moose, the long sword of the narwhal and the plumes of the eider duck. In the center of the cave is a splendid raised throne of ice like marble lace. As the curtain rises, the room is empty, but the sound of singing is heard outside. A troop of gnomes march on, singing: Foxy's marching to his hall, Let us loudly to him call, Hip, hip, hurrah! Foxy First is our good King, Come, let's make the icebergs ring, Hip, hip, hurrah! 42 KING FOXY Foxy, be our King for aye, Subjects true we'll live and die, Hip, hip, hurrah! Foxy's brave as he can be, Leading us to victory, Hip, hip, hurrah! They are clad in different colors of fox fur, with the heads dangling over their foreheads and the tails hanging behind. They are armed with brooms and feather dusters, with which they fall to work, dusting each other as often as the room, and chasing each other with the brooms. They are very lively. Martial music is heard, and King Foxy enters, followed by Blue Nose and Long Tooth, chief gnomes. Foxy is tall and handsome. He is dressed in white fox and wears a crown of porcupine quills upon his head. Long Tooth and Blue Nose are especially ugly and comical. The gnomes form an aisle to the throne, through which Foxy passes, their brooms and dusters held at ''Present Arms." FOXY (on his throne) I am tired of reigning here alone, boys. What do you think, would you like to have a queen? GNOMES Hurrah! Yes, a queen, a queen! FOXY (looking around) But first we must make the palace more beautiful it is not fine enough for a queen and how shall we make it more beautiful? That is the question. KING FOXY 43 GNOMES Yes, that is the question. ( They wag their heads.) (A crash is heard, and from a crack in the wall an old Sour Dough falls into the ice palace, followed by two Indian guides.) FOXY (standing up on his throne and shaking his fist) Who are you, and what are you doing in my kingdom ? SOUR DOUGH I'm just an old sour dough. FOXY What is that? SOUR DOUGH Well, call me a pioneer pros- pector, trapper. I'll answer to them all. (Foxy wags his head.) I'm a white man a hunter. And these (turning to the Indians, who have been look- ing stealthily about and making signs to each other) are my Indian guides. FOXY Oh, that is what you are! (He barks like a fox with indignation.) Why don't you stay where you belong you and your Indians, too? All the rest of the earth's been given to you. You've no business here; this is our country. ( The gnomes gather about and shake their fists.) GNOMES (in shrill voices) This is our country! ( The hunter laughs a big, hearty laugh, and draws out his pipe and lights it.) SOUR DOUGH Now it's my turn to ask questions. (Coolly) Who are you, I'd like to know? FOXY I am King Foxy the First. I am master here, King of Muir Glacier, and you have forced your 44 KING FOXY way into my kingdom and are in my power. You have but one chance for your life; if you can answer me truly a certain question which I shall ask you, I will let you go free. If you cannot answer it you shall die ! ( The gnomes bark and dance, making faces at the hunter.} GNOMES You shall die! SOUR DOUGH Well, come on with the question. I might as well have it first as last. FOXY (solemnly) Where is the Devil's Thumb? SOUR DOUGH (smiles and smokes) That's an easy one ! High in the air, far to the south where the big timber grows, where it is black at night. I ought to know, for I live at the foot of that moun- tain right under the Devil's Thumb ! FOXY Good! You have told the truth. If you had lied, that block of ice (pointing) would have fallen and crushed you. You are free ! But sing us a song before you go. SOURDOUGH (Sings:) There's quite some doubt where you'll come out When you are off on jamborees! You sometimes land on foreign strand And often cannot find your keys ! It's always well to have your wits about you ! There's also doubt where you'll come out KING FOXY 45 When after game you're seeking Gee ! Perhaps you'll land on icebergs grand Where Foxy First is King, you see, And so you'd better have your wits about you, Because in an emergency, by Emergency r * r A junk - er named Tunk-er tripped in a golf bunk- er "No r * if ir r '" -A -|)j funk - or'said Tunk-er "am If' To fall in a snare when Im S. -5. etc. r look - ing for bear, Is e - nough to make an - y one cryt'l_ REFRAIN A junker named Tunker tripped in a golf bunker, "No funker," said Tunker, "am I ! To fall in a snare when I'm looking for bear, Is enough to make anyone cry! I'm no flunker," said Tunker, "so darn that old bunker ! I'll now get a bear if I die!" So he turned to the wood just as quick as he could, And found what he wanted, close by. FOXY Good! Begone! Blue Nose, show the white man the way out. (Blue Nose leads the way out, turning somer- saults.) 46 KING FOXY SOURDOUGH Many thanks ! I'll not forget King Foxy the First, for Foxy, he's a good fellow ! (Sour Dough waves and the gnomes wave back. He disappears. The Indians linger and look about. They begin a war dance.) FOXY What are you up to? INDIAN Where is the Siwash chief who came here years ago? FOXY He is dead. I found him dying and cared for him; and before he went to the Happy Hunt- ing Ground he told me many strange tales of your people. He told me of your potlatches, or feasts, of your wigwams and totem poles, and of the pipes of peace you smoke. INDIANS We believe your story. It has the sound of truth. We will no longer dance our war dance of revenge. (They disappear.) GNOMES We don't understand! What's it all about? FOXY (addressing his subjects from his throne, while they squat in a circle about him) You all remember that Indian whom they were seeking, he was the first man we had ever seen. Before he died, he whispered his great secret to me alone. "In a big pine tree on the Devil's Thumb," he muttered faintly, "is a poke of gold and bags of sapphires, amethysts and diamonds by the hun- dreds." At the time I did not know what he meant or where to look for the Devil's Thumb, but KING FOXY 47 now Old Sour Dough has given me a clue, and I am off to follow it if it leads to the edge of the Arctic Circle! Quick, boys, make me an iceboat! (King Foxy sings.) REFRAIN p ir p T r Ir * 1J r Ir f '^ * IJ Search for a pine tree! on Dev - ils Thumb! When you have j jjju u njjjy i[ ; if IT iJ r if p IT 'Mr * i found it __ keep my se - cret iuum_ And dig deep for trea-sure'._ *r y jj Jew-els. _ and gold, _ Wealth with- out mea-sure.And for-tune un-told! (Blue Nose hands to the gnomes picks, saws and bars.) If I succeed in finding the gems, our ice kingdom will be the loveliest in the world. I wish to make my palace beautiful for a queen, a queen! (Foxy takes up a pick and throws a bag over his shoulder, as if ready for a journey.) GNOMES A queen, a queen! Three cheers for King Foxy ! (They start off the stage, singing :) Beware of the snow-white owl, You know he's a horrid fowl; He hoots at the Northern Light, And he's aching to pick a fight ! Beware of the ocean whale, He carries the fishes' mail; When he is on his route He acts like a perfect brute. 48 KING FOXY Beware of the Arctic bear, With his bristly, gristly hair ! When he stands up on his legs He hugs as well as begs ! Beware of the Indian chief, He's doubtless an awful thief; But when you know him well Strange stories he can tell. Beware of the strange white man, With his rifle and his pan; He's more than a hunter bold, He's after our precious gold. CURTAIN (Between scenes first and second, moving pic- tures of Foxy's adventures in searching for the treas- ure are suggested.) KING FOXY 49 Scene Two Same as Scene i. The stage is dark, but colored lights begin appearing here and there. As it grows lighter, the gnomes are discovered studding the pal- ace with precious jewels. The bears give a dance. (At the end of the dance, Foxy sitting on his throne tells of his adventures.) FOXY And that ice boat you made for me to sail upon, which was as big as a man-of-war to begin with, soon dwindled in the warm current to the size of a three-masted schooner, and then to a mere dory. LONG TOOTH (stopping work and wiggling his big tooth) How dreadful ! But we couldn't have foreseen that. FOXY No, of course not. It was about time to do something, however, so I called a passing gull and hopped upon her back. She did her best, but I was too heavy for her, and she soon dropped me on an island. And there I was ! BLUE NOSE (stopping work, his finger on his big nose, and talking through his nose) And what mis- chief did you get into then? FOXY I hadn't been on that island long when a greedy black bear cub came poking around for roots. He didn't know who I was ! I was obliged to defend myself with a prickly stalk. It was a 50 KING FOXY shameful situation I hope my polar bears will never hear of it. Splash, splash I found myself at the edge of the water. GNOMES And what then? FOXY A halibut came to my assistance this time. He was a man of the world he recognized me at once. He ferried me over to the mainland on his flat back, and swam away without even waiting to be thanked. And I found myself right at the foot of the Devil's Thumb. BLUE NOSE Did you see Old Sour Dough, by any chance ? FOXY I did indeed. But first I searched for the hidden treasure. Time and again I thought the old fellow had tricked me, but finally I came to the great pine tree, and in its hollow heart I found the poke of gold and the bags of jewels. GNOMES Hurrah for King Foxy ! FOXY And then I discovered Old Sour Dough's cabin and the old man himself. LONG TOOTH And what did he have to say? FOXY u Hello!"saidhe. "Hello!" said I. "What are you doing in my country?" he asked. "Trying to get out of it as fast as I can," said I. "Here's a poke of gold for you if you'll sail me back in a hurry to Muir Glacier." So here I am. GNOMES How wonderful the gems have made the palace. It is the most beautiful palace in the world. KING FOXY 51 LONG TOOTH (wiggling his big tooth) It still seems to lack something. GNOMES A queen, a queen! BLUE NOSE (scornfully) Who ever heard of a lady gnome? Foxy's good enough for me. LONG TOOTH There must be one somewhere, if we can only find her. FOXY This palace is so beautiful it really ought to have a queen. LONG TOOTH Perhaps Mother Nature will help us to find one if we please her by making other glaciers beautiful, too. BLUE NOSE (changing his mind and wagging his head) I believe she will. We will make passage- ways and tunnels in the glaciers. LOA r G TOOTH (enthusiastically) Everywhere we'll put sparkling gems to please her. BLUE NOSE But look here, we haven't any gems left; what shall we do? ( The gnomes dance, wail and groan and gnash their teeth.) GNOMES What shall we do? We must have a queen ! And Mother Nature is the only one to help us. FOXY Can't we find a queen without her help? LONG TOOTH I fear we need it, for we have already looked in vain for a fairy queen for you while you were looking for jewels. FOXY The linings of some shells are quite as lovely 52 KING FOXY as gems. Perhaps they would do. So you have been hunting for a fairy queen, have you? (An albatross flies by. Blue Nose aims at her with his bow and arrow.) FOXY Stop your monkey-shines and tell me where you went in your search for the fairies. BLUE NOSE We went inland to the south. LONG TOOTH We had exciting adventures, too. I had a ride on a coyote one day. BLUE NOSE I looked into an eagle's nest! LONG TOOTH I found the mountain goats quite friendly. I pulled their beards. BLUE NOSE I liked best to play hide and seek with the little gophers. (Fairies begin to appear, quietly, as if listening. They drop of a ledge, one by one, like water. They are dressed in robes of flowing green covered with sparkling gems. They sing as they come on :) Dripping, tripping, over the ledges slipping, And wherever we jump, With never a bump, It's slipping and ripping on rocks a-dripping. Dashing, flashing, into the valley a-splashing, It's over we hop And it's under we drop, Just lashing and crashing on rocks a-dashing. KING FOXY 53 Words by* ISABEL ANDERSON ARTHuTwi&D -fr =H= f* r P ' '1 P '1 P : -H < v 1* We're the liv - ly elves of wi-ter, Ev - er jauc-ing oj rain- bows _ Valse Refrain I ' -T..^E*=*EE=j Drip - ping! trip > ping! O - ver the led - ges skip - ping.'And where FOXY (discovering them) Well, I never! I believe I see a fairy right here a green water fairy! Why, lots of them ! What brought you here ? A FAIRY We came because we heard such a com- motion, and we saw lights, too. Some of us thought they might be sparks from avalanches. (Each fairy chooses a gnome and begins to dance. Only Blue Nose and Long Tooth are left without partners. Music: "Dance of the Fairies".) FOXY (aside) Will anyone fall in love with Blue Nose, I wonder? I have a better looking nose than he has; besides, he talks through his. (Descends from his throne to seek a fairy for himself.) And Long Tooth will he find a wife? How his huge tooth wabbles ! (Swaggers.) I'm cleverer than the others and finer looking, too. I ought to have the prettiest fairy there is ! (Finally Blue Nose and Long Tooth are chosen by the two remaining fairies; they dance. Foxy looks about.) 54 KING FOXY FOXY What! Not one fairy left for me! (He stamps his foot with rage, and wags his head with disappointment until a porcupine quill drops out of his crown. Fairies and gnomes lie down and go to sleep. Lights low.) Why should I be punished by not finding a queen ? Can it be that I have not done my share of the work? It's true that my subjects have been at work studding the palace with jewels while I have been idly sitting on my throne and talking. (Looks dejected. Walks up and down.} But I still have a few precious stones in my pockets. Now I will work while my subjects sleep. (He works) . (Colored lights begin to gleam here and there. Suddenly THE QUEEN OF THE WATERFALL appears and gives her hand to Foxy. She is robed in flowing green and sparkling ice jewels, and she wears a crown upon her head. The fairies and gnomes awake. The Queen sings :) I am the Water Queen, my home's the mountain, It's a wonderful place; I hide in nook and cranny and in fountain, I bow deeply, Your Grace. (She courtesies.) It's here and there and everywhere I'm dancing, Let us run a good race ; O'er rock and hill and valley I go prancing, Come along and give chase. KING FOXY 55 Vords by Music by ISABEL ANDERSON ARTHUR WKLD Op 88 REFRAIN Oht hon - ey boy! Sun ny boy! How dye do? I m your toy, full of joy Wiat a cun-ning lit - He fox - ey! Oh! don't be coy! fur-ryboy! I love you! Yes I lore jol-ty boys brave and true FAIRIES She is the most beautiful of us all our Queen ! the Queen of the Waterfall ! FOXY My Queen, the most precious jewel in the palace! (Foxy places her on his throne and sits beside her.) GNOMES AND FAIRIES Hail to our King and Queen ! Hail. CURTAIN "I will be brave and %ht the bear." LITTLE DOUBT In One Act Characters GINGER. Little Doubt. Good Boy. Bad Boy. Auntie Owl Eyes. Miss Silver Bell. Chorus: Good Fairies and Bad Fairies. Time Present. Late Afternoon. LITTLE DOUBT Scene : A white forest; snow is falling. As the curtain rises rabbits are seen hopping about the stage. (The rabbits may be omitted if not wanted.) Twinkling lights here and there, as of glistening snow or fairy wands, are to be seen, while the Sleigh Bell Fairies come out from behind bushes and dance with bells and sing: Oh, we are the Sleigh Bell Fairies, Fairies good and free, And when snow feathers flutter, We dance o'er vale and lea. The Sleigh Bell Fairies are good fairies. They are dressed in silver with bells as bracelets and ank- lets. Electric lights can be seen on slippers or on wands, or in the hair. The rubbing of sandpaper is also used when they appear, to represent the sound of sleighs. When they disappear and the sounds of 60 LITTLE DOUBT song and bells die out in the distance, Auntie Owl Eyes runs out on the stage laughing, but slips and falls down. Ginger and the other three boys run after her. Ginger catches her. They are all throw- ing snowballs. She is wearing a long winter coat and furs. Ginger has red hair and is dressed in sweater and cap boy's winter costume. Ginger is a human boy. The other children represent his instincts Good Boy (Ginger's good instincts) is large and blond, and should be dressed in white fur coat and cap. Bad Boy (Ginger's bad instincts) is small and dark, and dressed in black. Little Doubt is lame and humped and pale. He is dressed in neutral colors. His manner is timid and undecided. He generally stands on one foot with his finger in his mouth. GINGER (excitedly) Well, I've caught you, Auntie Owl Eyes ! Wasn't that a glorious snow- ball fight? (Doubt and Good Boy look for tracks in the snow. Bad Boy mocks Auntie during the conversa- tion. Ginger pulls Auntie up.) AUNTIE Yes, you did catch me. I'll catch you next time, you little rascal. Oh ! that snowball felt cold. It went right down my neck. I'm going home now, but I'll get even with you some day, Ginger Boy. (Laughing.) You won't be afraid, will you, if I leave you here in the woods with only your instincts, Good Boy, Bad Boy and Little Doubt? LITTLE DOUBT 61 (Doubt dings to Ginger.) GINGER (undecidedly) I don't know, I might be lonely; I might be afraid, but the birds perhaps will keep me company. I suppose maybe there will be some animals to play with, too. AUNTIE Some of the birds fly south in winter, remember, and some of the animals go to sleep, but no doubt you will see squirrels and snowbirds and bunnies. GINGER There may be foxes and bears. AUNTIE The bears will be sleeping in winter in their caves, unless you wake them up. Look out; remember the strong eat the weak. GINGER (nodding his head) That's so, I had a partridge for lunch. Gee ! it was good. AUNTIE You eat the partridge and he eats the beetle. Yes, and you might taste good to a bear, young man. (Doubt touches him.) GINGER I think perhaps I had better go home with you after all. AUNTIE You, afraid of a bear, a great big boy like you? I wonder what you would do if you did see one. (Bad Boy pretends to be a bear and dances.) GINGER I'm not quite sure; I might run away, but perhaps I wouldn't. AUNTIE Oh! ugly Little Doubt is always with you; you'll never have a mind of your own until 62 LITTLE DOUBT you get rid of him. (Doubt stand on one leg and sucks his finger near Ginger.) (Good Boy and Bad Boy cuff each other.) GINGER I have Good Boy with me, too. He's all right. AUNTIE But I see Bad Boy there also, the little black imp. (Ginger goes over to them, while Auntie puts on big shell spectacles and looks at tracks in snow.) GINGER (addressing the boys) I'll be jiggered; they are fighting. What's the matter anyway? GOOD BOY I want to build a fort. BAD BOY By jinks, I'd rather snare birds. DOUBT What's the use of anything? GOOD BOY (disgustedly) Doubt just stands there like a bump on a log. Why don't you have some spunk about you? (Bad Boy slaps Doubt.) GOOD BOY Bad Boy doesn't play fair either. AUNTIE Here, look here, I believe I see bear tracks. What do you think? (They all gather about.) You had better decide, Ginger Boy, what you'd do if you met a bear. BAD BOY By jinks, he would eat you ! (Doubt clings to Ginger.) AUNTIE (laughs, waves and runs of stage) Well, I'm going now. (The boys snowball her as she goes.) Remember, I'll get even with you, Ginger, for snowballing me. LITTLE DOUBT 63 (Ginger looks for a moment as though he would follow her until Doubt leaves his side.) GOOD BOY Perhaps these are Fairies' footprints. (They follow tracks to one side of stage.) LITTLE DOUBT Aren't you too old to believe in fairies? GINGER So you think I'm too old to believe in fairies. You question everything. You spoil all my fun. For heaven's sake, can't you leave me alone a minute? BAD BOY By jinks, lick him! Lick him! Fight him! GOOD BOY Oh, do get rid of Doubt. I don't like him either. GINGER (with arm uplifted to slap him) You little shrimp ! You half-baked boy ! You wishy-washy Little Doubt! DOUBT (whining) You red head! You nincom- poop! GOOD BOY (He whistles) Come, my good fairies, and help me save Ginger! (Sleigh bells are heard ringing the boys stop fighting. The Sleigh Bell Fairies appear and dance. Miss Siherbell sings with Good Boy and Chorus of fairies :) Oh, look, what do I see, A human can it be? Come, do not be afraid, I am a harmless maid. Tinkle, Tinkle. 64 LITTLE DOUBT I'm only a good fay, With Good Boy I do play. Jump in the fairy ring, Come, dance with us and sing, Tinkle, Tinkle. REFRAIN! The snow feathers fall, The bells softly call, Tinkle, Tinkle, Tinkle, Tee ! The sleighs they slip by, And seem all to sigh, Tinkle, Tinkle, Tinkle, Tee ! (At the end they seize Ginger and dance about him, but Doubt tries to cling to Ginger.) GINGER I'll be jiggered, I never saw fairies be- fore. FAIRIES We want to carry you off, but you won't come, all on account of Doubt, the worthless fel- low. BAD BOY Leave Good Boy alone, too; he's a softy. I'll give you a good time. GINGER (addressing the fairies) Won't you speak and tell me who you are. You are Good Boy's friends? FAIRIES (step forward; Miss Siherbell speaks) Yes, we are the Sleighbell Sisters. We were human little girls once, but we pulled our pet white rab- bits' ears and teased them, so in revenge the fairies made our ears grow. LITTLE DOUBT 65 GINGER What, really? That is strange. FAIRIES When we glanced in the mirror one day we looked so very funny that we ran away from home to hide ourselves. GINGER Where did you run to, and what happened then? FAIRIES We went to the forest, but the fairies turned us into rabbits. We have been good, how- ever, since, so afterwards the fairies took pity on us and turned us into the Sleighbell Sisters. At last we have become good fairies and follow Good Boy, and perhaps some day when we have done many kind things for animals, and redeemed ourselves, we may become humans again. They are the best, after all. DOUBT I don't believe a word of it. BAD BOY I wish they had all been imps. GINGER I would like to see an imp, just for larks. BAD BOY By jinks, I'm an imp, an imp ! Where is my band of imps? (Whistles) (As the Bad Fairies appear left, the Good Fairies run away right. The Bad Fairies can be dressed as imps, or witches, or hobgoblins.) BAD FAIRIES (scream) We want Ginger. (Bad Boy sings "In Shadow Land".) This is the Demon's Shadow Land And I am very bad. We are a lively little band, Sometimes we seem quite mad ! 66 LITTLE DOUBT In shadow land 'tis somewhat dark But we are never sad, 'Tis there we frolic, spark and lark, Come on and join us, lad. REFRAIN I'm black as a crow, They'll say I'm your foe, But I'm jolly, by golly, Hi, ho ! I may be an imp, But I never limp, And I'm jolly, by golly, Hi, ho ! (They dance about Ginger at the end. They pull Doubt, pinch his ears, and he retires, but Good Boy and fairies return for a moment. They disappear.) BAD BOY By jinks, I'm an imp. I'm an imp ! GINGER (siting by a bush in the snow rubbing his eyes) You're nothing but a Bad Boy. The fairies and devils have gone. Have I been dreaming? Auntie said the cold sometimes put people to sleep. It seemed very real. (He stretches, then gets up and looks at tracks in the snow again.) GINGER Of course I've been dreaming. They can't be fairy footprints or imps' tracks either, and I don't think they are bunnies ! DOUBT (at a distance) I wonder. GINGER I believe Auntie was right, they are bear LITTLE DOUBT 67 tracks, sure as I'm alive. Come, we'll find the bear. ( The boys take sticks. Doubt, however, lingers behind.) (Song by all three. Stand with hands on each other's shoulders; stamp to accent chorus, and growl at end of it.) Oh, we are brave as they make them There's naught can us dismay ! We take things as we find them And never run away. L. D. What never? B. B. (winking] Well hardly ever! REFRAIN Bear! bear! who's afraid of a bear? Bear! bear! let him come if he dare! There's no one here that he can scare That bear, bear, bear! Just stand still when you meet him And look him in the eye; For that's the way to treat him He's always very shy ! L. D. What always? B. B. (winking) Well- nearly always ! CHORUS, etc., etc. (Doubt hangs back with finger in his mouth and standing on one foot.) 68 LITTLE DOUBT DOUBT (making objections) The bear might eat us, after all. GOOD BOY Who's afraid of a bear? DOUBT Bears live far off in mountain caves. It's too far to go. BAD BOY Catch him by the tongue when you see him. DOUBT Anyway he's asleep in winter. BAD BOY (gaily) By jinks, we'll catch him nap- ping; come along (leading the way). ( They follow the tracks up the stage left.) GOOD BOY Doubt's a coward. GINGER Well, you are brave enough, Good Boy. (Bear enters right and dances center. Boys re- turn upper left.) BAD BOY (hides behind a tree, then tries to climb and falls) Now see what you've done. You've waked the bear. DOUBT (sucking finger and standing on one foot) Shall I run, or shan't I? (Tries to hide, too, be- hind tree.) BAD BOY By jinks, get out of here! There's only room for one. (Doubt scurries about.) DOUBT Goodness, what shall I do? It's time for me to disappear. BAD BOY Catch him by the tongue. (Good Boy stands his ground; the bear is still dancing.) GOOD BOY Make up your mind, Ginger, are you a brave boy? LITTLE DOUBT 69 (Doubt jumps on Ginger's back, but is thrown off by Ginger. Good Boy helps.) GINGER (takes a stick) I will be brave and fight the bear. (The bear runs after Doubt, and he goes off the stage limping and yelling. Bear spies Bad Boy and gives him a chase, and Bad Boy runs off stage.) GOOD BOY I'll stand by you, Ginger. BAD BOY (Voice in the distance) Catch him by the tongue. (Bear attacks Ginger, who bravely wrestles with him, and they roll over each other. With a great whoof and growl the disguise is thrown off and Auntie Owl Eyes is seen laughing.) AUNTIE I got even with you all right! GINGER You certainly did. AUNTIE Well, you've got some Ginger in you after all. I thought it might just be in your hair. GOOD BOY He got rid of Doubt. I'm glad of that! AUNTIE I saw you throw him off all yourself. He is still running, thank Heaven. (Looks.) GOOD BOY Nothing can hurt you if you're not afraid. AUNTIE Yes, only those who hesitate are lost. GOOD BOY Doubt has gone forever, I hope. I suppose he will run all the way to the city. AUNTIE He'll be more at home there, and soon will be teasing some other boy. yo LITTLE DOUBT GINGER (shaking hands with Good Boy) I'm glad you stood by me anyhow. GOOD BOY Be a man, old fellow; follow me, and I'll make you captain of the football team. (Auntie and Ginger in center of stage. Good fairies appear at the left, up stage.) AUNTIE Yes, he is your good fairy. GOOD BOY We have won the day, after all. (Good boy and his fairies bow. Bad Boy comes forward to the right and his followers appear behind him. He bows.) BAD BOY By jinks, I must admit we have lost. GINGER Where is Doubt? I don't see him. AUNTIE (kisses Ginger on the forehead) He doesn't dare to come back. He has gone forever. GINGER Humans are even better than fairies. I love you, Auntie. (As the curtain goes down they sing again) Oh, we are the Sleighbell Fairies, Fairies good and free, And when snow feathers flutter, We dance o'er vale and lea. CURTAIN "Little boy pudding and baby sauce, With old woman pie for a second course, Would all be eaten without remorse By the King of the Cannibal Islands." MERRY JERRY A Play in One Act Characters : MERRY JERRY. Young Neptune. The Sea Maid. Old Man of the Sea. CHORUS Pinkies, Dwarfs and Sirens. MERRY JERRY Scene : Courtyard in the white coral palace of Neptune; a green light gives the illusion of sea water; vegetation suggests that of tropical sea-gardens near the equator; white coral branches resemble trees in a snowstorm; seaweeds and bright-colored grasses grow on sea-bottom; starfishes, sponges and shells lie on the white sand. The lights are dim, and change from greens to blues and mauves; here and there twinkling lights, like moving fireflies, suggest phosphorescence. At right-center is the throne' of young Neptune, in front of it a ring in the sand to represent a fairy ring. A rock where a pretty mermaid lurks, is at the left of the stage. As the curtain rises, the Pinkies (the reef build- ers), are seen at work on the coral palace. They are dressed in pink and have fins upon their shoulders and feet; their faces are oblong, square or triangular. They are very industrious. Wild shouts are heard, and a band &f lively dwarfs, wearing oilskins and capis and necklacej of fish bones, rush in (upper left entrance), carrying a 76 MERRY JERRY \jti?$* ^ boy betwen thzm. He is about ten years old and is in a bathing suit. They set the boy down, and he looks about with wide, startled eyes, while the dwarfs dance a rollicking dance and sing: / "Little boy pudding and baby sauce, With old woman pie for a second course, Would all be eaten without remorse By the King of the Cannibal Islands. Hokey pokey pumagie whung, Keno kino ching chang chung, Honey poney phing phang phung, The King of the Cannibal Islands. For his name was Chingy Fingy Wong, Putta-potee da Kuttala Kong, Flipperty-flapperty Basky Bong, The King of the Cannibal Islands." (The dwarfs all disappear except their leader, who remains with Merry Jerry.) MERRY JERRY I want to go home! I want to go home ! OLD MAN OF THE SEA (The head dwarf, who wears a long white beard, shakes his finger at Merry Jerry) None of that, boy! If I hear you whimper any more, you'll never get back to your mother. I am master of the dwarfs; you MERRY JERRY 77 had better obey me. Now you stay here until Nep- tune comes. You're a surprise we have brought him. (He makes a face at the boy.) MERRY JERRY I won't stay here. You can't keep me. OLD MAN Ha! who knows best about that? Let me tell you, I'm the "King of the Cannibal Islands." If I call my dwarfs, you'll be "little boy pudding" in a hurry. I think nothing of making way with little imps like you. (Pulls Jerry roughly over be- hind rock at left.) Stay there till I come back for you. (He disappears.) SEA MAID (peeps round the rock curiously, look- ing at Merry Jerry from all sides, and smiles at him) What queer thing is this the Old Man of the Sea has captured? .Are you a little boy? MERRY JERRY (crying and very cross) Yes. Haven't you ever seen a boy before? SEA MAID (shaking her head and beginning to comb her long hair) No, never ! So you want to go home? That's the trouble, is it? It's not so bad down here, though. What's your name? MERRY JERRY Jeremiah. Mother always calls me Merry Jerry, but I'm too old for that name now. (Looks about.) Why, this is rather a jolly place, after all! At first I thought it was night; now I see it's the queer light and the water. Why, I'm walking on the bottom of the sea, and are you a mermaid? 78 MERRY JERRY SEA MAID Yes, I am a sea maid. (She sings.) I sit on the edge of the rocky ledge, And moan while the foam dashes by, I comb my hair in the breeze by the seas, And think of my Jackie and sigh, And think of my Jackie and sigh ! The sky is so clear I spy Jackie dear, A-bailing and sailing away, To Jackie I sing, and seaweed I fling, But Jackie says no, not to-day, But Jackie says no, not to-day! SEA MAID Tell me, boy, what is it that wears its beard without a chin and leaves its bed to be tucked in? MERRY JERRY I can't guess. SEA MAID (laughing) An oyster. I'd know you were a land boy. MERRY JERRY Tell me some more about the sea. Gee! this is an awfully queer place! (Perches on rock beside her.) SEA MAID Well, when the Ocean Giant stirs his kettle he makes whirlpools, and when he knocks the ashes from his pipe he makes volcanic islands, and But let's play house together! I'll go mar- keting with sand dollars, and you shall write out the bills with the sea pen. MERRY JERRY 79 MERRY JERRY No! I don't want to play house, that's for girls. Haven't you a Zoo down here? SEA MAID Of course. We have lizard fishes and rabbit fishes and squirrel fishes, and lots of queer creatures. MERRY JERRY Tell me, are those sparks alive? They look like fireflies. SEA MAID Yes, they are alive, and they are the lights of the palace. MERRY JERRY That's funny! Once when I sat up late I remember looking into the sea and watch- ing those lights. Mother told me some long name phosphorescence, I think. I suppose she didn't know they were the lamps of the palace. I'll tell her when I get home. SEA MAID (poking a cuttle fish and swishing her tail) And this is Tom Toddy, all head and no body. (Looking at Jerry.) So you think you'll get home, do you, my dear? I'm not so sure of that. I want you myself. You would make a fine merboy before long. MERRY JERRY I can't go home? I'd like to know why not. No girl will keep me. But go on tell me about the palace, whose is it? SEA MAID It belongs to Neptune, the lord of the sea. MERRY JERRY Jolly! I'd like to get a look at him. Where is he? SEA MAID He's off driving his white sea horses. So MERRY JERRY He is a brave king; he wrestles with the wicked swordfish with spiked nose, and battles with the great octopus. MERRY JERRY Glory! I'd like to see such a fight. I suppose it is because he is so brave that the mermen made him king. SEA MAID Yes. Even the Ocean Giant obeys him. He won a great battle once. Fishes from all over the kingdom were there, and they made him king after that. That was when he conquered the Old Man of the Sea. ^ MERRY JERRY Ho! the old duffer who brought me here ? Bully for him ! Hello ! What do you call those funny little people over there? SEA MAID They are the Pinkies, the coral-reef builders. They are always working, working, working. Ahoy there, pinkies, can't you sing for the land boy? (Pinkies sing and at the same time clink, dink with hammers.) We're the pinkie boys of the deep, We never, oh never, can sleep, We must work all night and all the day, We seldom if ever can play. We're the workers under the sea, All the ships from us try to flee, Pretty islands, however, we make, Where let's dance for good Neptune's sake. iMERRY JERRY 81 REFRAIN We build the gardens for Neptune, Of coral reefs make bowers, We join the mermaids in a tune, And mortals think us flowers. (Trumpets are heard.) SEA MAID Hurrah ! Neptune is coming ! (Combs her hair and looks into a mirror.) I got this from a sailor lad. You must have some soap-fish, boy, to wash your hands before you meet our king. Oh clear! it is too late. Here they come. (She waves.) MERRY JERRY Say, this is fun, after all! Wish the fellows could see me now ! What a jolly place this is! I wish mother were here. But it is get- ting late; she must be looking for me. I must go back. But I don't know where to go ! Are those mermaids singing? I wonder. (Song is heard. The conquering young Neptune enters with trident lifted, big and handsome and stern. He sits upon his throne, a -pink coral crown upon his head, and clad in an armor of oyster shells. The sea dwarfs head the procession, led by the Old Man of the Sea, and blow loud blasts upon their conch-shell trum- pets. They are mischievous imps, tying knots in ropes, bothering the pinkies with their pranks, tearing holes in sails, and making faces as they go along. Pinkies also join in the procession and dance and sing. They enter the fairy ring. Sea sirens appear here and there through the palace, half hidden, singing, combing 82 MERRY JERRY their hair and swishing their tails. Subjects bow be- fore Neptune. Procession winds about stage ; breaks up into dances; finally leaving Merry Jerry in center of stage, Old Man of the Sea at Neptune's right, Sea Maid at his left.) NEPTUNE Why, here is a land boy! How did you get into my palace under the sea ? Tell me all about it. Come, don't be afraid ! MERRY JERRY Well, you see, Mr. Neptune, I was sitting on the rocks feeding my gulls, when I saw a big square-rigged ship sail in. There was a jolly dwarf 'way out on the bowsprit, and he beckoned me to come aboard. NEPTUNE That was the Old Man of the Sea, I am sure. MERRY JERRY Yes, that's just who it was. Mother had said I mustn't go in swimming again to-day, but that dwarf kept beckoning, and he looked so jolly that I got on my bathing suit and went right into the waves. NEPTUNE Weren't you frightened, boy? MERRY JERRY No, 'course not. I had on my dried starfish that Sailor Jack gave me to keep me from being afraid of the ocean! NEPTUNE (sternly) I see. What next. MERRY JERRY Well, pretty soon the Old Man of the Sea got hold of me, and he dragged me along ever so far, and at last I got, well, almost fright- MERRY JERRY 83 ened. He was awful rough, and didn't take me on the ship at all. OLD MAN Oh ! pooh, nonsense ! MERRY JERRY And when I wanted to go home the Old Man of the Sea wouldn't let me. OLD MAN (chuckling) How you did kick! MERRY JERRY 'Course I kicked! What did you think? The dwarfs carried me along, I couldn't help myself, and the first thing I knew here I was in your palace. NEPTUNE Hum! Do you like it? MERRY JERRY It's all right! But it's late. Won't you send me home, please? Mother will be look- ing for me. (Lights come out in the courtyard.) NEPTUNE (To mermaid) Nice little chap, isn't he? MERRY JERRY She wouldn't send me home either; she wanted to make a merboy out of me and keep me, too, but I want to go home to mother. DJ%ARF$ (shout) No, inde^! You can't go home ! We want you to play with rrs. (Dwarfs dance and play tricks. They sing in chorus :) We've got a new toy, A little land boy Sing ricketty racketty rock ahoy! 84 MERRY JERRY We'll never let him go, Oh, never, no, no! With a ricketty racketty rock oh, ho ! DWARFS Come along! (Dwarfs take Jerry of and dance with him in a ring.) NEPTUNE (angrily) So your dwarfy are up to their tricks again ! I believe it was your crew, Old Man of the Sea, that stuffed my conch-shell trum- pets the other day; and the mermaids laughed at me till they made ripples on the surface of the water. Oh, of course you tickled my sea horses, too, so they ran away and upset me. Now you have stolen this child. This is the end! You shall not have him. Take him back to the shore where you found him. (Neptune rises and with a gesture dismisses court; goes of up stage. The Old Man of the Sea seizes Jerry.) OLD MAN Take him, boys Neptune will never know. SEA MAID Bring him back! (To the Old Man of the Sea) You have no right to keep him, you wicked dwarf! OLD MAN OF THE SEA (dancing with glee) Too late, fair maid; we have him now! Off with him! Tie his legs with seaweed! Put starfish in his hair! We'll see when he'll get back to his mother ! MERRY JERRY 85 MERRY JERRY (as he is carried off) Let me go ! I'd rather belong to Neptune than to you ! OLD MAN Ho, ho! (Fainter.) Ho, ho, ho! SEA MAID (calls) O Neptune, great king, return ! (As Neptune comes in again) The Old Man of the Sea has stolen your land child, O king the wretched dwarfs will imprison him in their darkest cave. (Neptune strikes his trident upon the sand and a sound of thunder is heard.) NEPTUNE (in a terrible voice) Old Man of the Sea, bring back that boy ! (No response. He strikes again upon the ground louder thunder, rolling and finally crashing, with lightning) Do you still dare disobey me? (Old Man of the Sea rushes in and throws him- self at the king's feet; the dwarfs slink in behind him, giving Jerry malicious pinches and kicks as they lead him down stage.) OLD MAN Never again, O great Neptune, wilt I do aught against thee. Forgive us this folly, and we are forever thy slaves. See, here is the boy to do with as it pleases thee ! NEPTUNE Old Man, you have trifled with me once too often. You shall take Merry Jerry home to his mother and this is the way you shall do it : I turn you into a fish ? (Strikes him with trident. Lights go out and when they come up Merry Jerry is seen astride a 86 MERRY JERRY fish in center of stage, laughing and waving good- bye. Slow curtain as the slaves sing "Hokey, pokey," etc., and the pinkies dance in the fairies' ring. Dwarfs form, mournful procession behind as fish glides across stage, and one gives its waving tail a sly tweak.) "That's no fairy. He's just a New Jersey mosquito." THE GEE WHIZ A Play in One Act Characters : GINGER. Skipper. Dinah. Polly. Sun Boy. CHORUS Sailor Boys, Fuzzy Wuzzy Buzz Wuzz, Sun Sparkles, Flying Fish, Waves, Cloud- lets, Lightning Sprites. SONGS AND DANCES FOR "THE GEE WHIZ" Skipper's Hornpipe and Buccaneer Song, with Sailor Boys. Song You Little Ginger Snap. Mosquito Dance, with flapping of wings and buzz music, low, with combs. Dinah's Coon Song and Cake Walk. Sun Boy's song and dance, with Sparkles. Dance of the Flying Fish, with Waves. Dance of the Lightning Sprites, with the Cloudlets. THE GEE WHIZ Scene : The cabin of the Gee Whiz. The cabin walls are decorated with seaweeds, coral, cocoanuts and dried starfish, as well as prints of merchant craft, whaling ships and great four-masters. Guns and fish- ing rods stand in the corner, while table and chairs are to be. seen, and a parrot hanging in a cage. Port- hole back of stage; entrance right and left. As the curtain rises Ginger, a small red-headed boy, in sporting costume, is seen baiting a hook on a line, while the Skipper dances a hornpipe and sings, with two sailor boys. He is dressed as a Skipper and has a pipe in his hand. SKIPPER (sings) We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas, with greatest ease, We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas, Give us some grog but not any fog, We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas. We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas, with greatest ease. We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas. 92 THE GEE WHIZ Give us some grub without any bug, We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas. We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas, with greatest ease. We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas. Give us a chew, a jolly old crew, We're the Buccaneers that sail upon the seas. POLLY (A shrill voice behind the stage speaks for Polly) Gee Whiz ! go it, Cap ! Gee whiz 1 SKIPPER So Polly's waking up. (Ginger and the Skipper laugh. Ginger tries his rod and reel; he almost catches the Skipper, who escapes laughing. Ginger sticks the fish hook into his own hand and has a tantrum.) SKIPPER By the great jibboom, what's the good of having a tantrum, Ginger? (Scratches his head and sings :) You little ginger snap, You need a good rap rap ! You should be fed on pap, You little ginger snap ! They've left this boy to me, And I am all at sea, More ways than one. Just see what he has done Had tantrums all the while It makes my temper bile, They're leaving him to me, When I am so at sea ! THE GEE WHIZ 93 They've left their boy to me, For all I'm so at sea, It's quite too 'tarnal much ! I'll be an Uncle Dutch- Show him a thing or two I'll teach him who is who! They've left the lad to me Too often, they will see ! REFRAIN For I'm the skipper Of this here clipper, And what I says, it goes ! For I'm the skipper Of this here clipper, And what I says, it goes ! Your dad has gone ashore and left you with me, so look here, now, stop this nonsense and tell me what your orders are. Where shall the good ship "Gee Whiz" sail to? What do you wish to see? GINGER (sulkily) Sail anywhere you like. I want to have adventures. How about a great big storm at sea? POLLY (with a long whistle) Gee whiz! Gee whiz ! SKIPPER Gee whiz! I agree with you, Polly. That is a pretty big order. (Scratches his head and smokes his pipe.) A storm ! Well, it's hard to tell what may happen on a voyage, especially if you blow on the earbone of a whale. (He takes 94 THE GEE WHIZ it out of his pocket and hands it to Ginger.) Have a blow, old fellow, but I give you warning, aftef a tantrum there is no telling what will happen. You might even see fairies. GINGER (scornfully) I'm not afraid to blow on the earbone of a whale. It's not much more ex- citing than blowing on a watch, but here goes! (He blows.) Ear bone, ear bone, What have you got for me ? Once for luck, and twice for pluck, And thrice for a storm at sea ! Ear bone, ear bone, Will you do this for me ? SKIPPER (sings out) Now we're off. Hoist the mainsail. Get under way, Mate. We'll have a ripping sail to-day; the wind is strong. We'll sail and sail all the way to Fairyland. ( The two sailors pull ropes and finally go off the stage, right. At that moment a mosquito comes in, left, and dances.) SKIPPER (laughing) There's a fairy for you. Hasn't he got wings? Won't he do? Speaking of 'um is a-seeing of 'urn. ( The mosquito dances up to Polly's cage.) POLLY Gee whiz! Gee whiz! Get out of here! GINGER Pooh! You can't fool me, Skipper; that's no fairy. He's just a New Jersey mosquito, a big New Jersey mosquito. THE GEE WHIZ 95 (The mosquito chases Ginger. Ginger tries to catch him, clapping his hands, but the mosquito buzzes back at him.) SKIPPER (chuckling) By the great jibboom, he doesn't like being called a New Jersey mosquito. (The mosquito finally stings Ginger. Ginger gets very angry, stamps his foot, knocks over a chair, and cries.) GINGER The dickens ! He's stung me, that New Jersey mosquito ! POLLY (delighted, whistles and yells) Rah, rah! rah! Harvard! Rah! rah! rah! P. E. A. Exeter! Exeter ! DINAH (a colored mammy wearing a turban rushes in) Why, honey chile, what on earth's de matter? Pore 'ittle lamb! (Comforts him.) So you got stung? Would you like a little song? Maybe it'll make you feel gladder. GINGER Yes, give us a song, Dinah. (Dinah sings "Swing low, sweet chariot/") SKIPPER (disgustedly) If you keep on having tan- trums, Ginger, the Lord only knows what'll hap- pen; starting out to sea and having tantrums the very first thing, and being comforted by women folks. You are nothing but a little ginger snap. By the great jibboom, that mosquito is busy again ! (Laughs.) POLLY Ginger pop ! (Whistles.) (Mosquito goes for Dinah, who runs into the Sun Boy as he enters.) 96 THE GEE WHIZ DINAH Foh de Lawd's sake! dis 'ere ship done got 'um ! ( Throws up her hands and rushes out, right, mosquito after her.} SKIPPER Here comes a real fairy this time, the Sun Boy. SUN BOY (He is dressed in yellow tights with cape of spangles, the light turned full on him. As he is a fairy he must arrive in some mysterious way; perhaps through the porthole. He carries a spy-glass and a paint brush. He goes up to Polly' s cage, accompanied by two Sun Sparkles in spangled costume; they dance and sing:) Oh, I'm the naughty Sun Boy ! I'll get you in a fix I'll paint you red and brown, boy I love to play my tricks ! Oh, I'm the naughty Sun Boy I live in a balloon; It's bright and round and golden It's bigger than the Moon! I've brought my little sparkles They're such a lively lot ! Just watch them shine and twinkle, They dance and prance and trot. SUN BOY I saw you through the spy-glass, so I thought I would just come down and find out what THE GEE WHIZ 97 you were up to. (Swaggers about a little.) I called a passing eagle and hopped on his back, and here I am, quick as a wink. (Goes up to Polly. Polly gives a long whistle.) POLLY Whew, but it is hot! SKIPPER So the Sun Boy and his Sparkles have come to see us, as sure as I'm alive. It's just noon. I must take an observation. SUN BOY (bows) I will tell you; it is longitude 74.26 and latitude 40.26. SKIPPER Many thanks, Mr. Sun Boy. SUN BOY Are you off your course, Skipper? Is the tide running strong? SKIPPER The wind is blowing fresh, and by the great jibboom I believe a storm's a-coming, after all. DINAH (poking her head in at the door) Foh de Lawd's sake! SUN BOY (bowing to Dinah and waving his paint brush) I painted Dinah black years ago. DINAH Dis 'ere boat sure done got 'um ! (Dis- appears.) SUN BOY I intend to give Ginger a red nose before I leave a touch of sun in punishment for hav- ing had a tantrum. (He catches hold of Ginger and paints his nose red, then scampers away, leav- ing as he entered. His Sparkles follow him.) I see the clouds gathering. It is time for me to disappear. 98 THE GEE WHIZ GINGER My nose ! My nose ! (Stamps his foot.) SKIPPER (laughs as Ginger holds onto his nose unsympathetically) That will do you good. My, you do look funny! (Slaps his sides.) (Dinah brings in a tray with food on it. Skip- per, Dinah and Ginger sit down at the table.) POLLY Polly wants a cracker! Polly wants a cracker ! SKIPPER (gets up, looks out of porthole. Scratches his head.) There's a bad storm a-coming. The clouds are getting wild. By the great jibboom, here come some Cloudlets right in here. (Looking around.} I see the Sun Boy has gone. They are playing hide and seek, no doubt, and the wind fairies, too, are having some fun. (The cloudlets are dressed in gray scarfs; elec- tric fan turned on from wing will make them blow. Hidden behind the veils they can burn incense, so the smoke will rise. They dance.) GINGER That is strange 1 My! Hurrah! This is a storm! I can't find my mouth. Oh dear, I have lost my bun ! (Things begin to tumble off the table. Ginger begins to look worried.) DINAH It is rough. Do you believe I'd turn white if I got sea-sick? If you're sure I would, Skipper, I'm willing to risk it. (It gets rougher and rougher. Cloudlets retire, left, as flying fish enters porthole with wavelets. The fish flops and jumps about with the little wavelets, THE GEE WHIZ 99 girls dressed in blue scarfs with fringe of dripping sparklets. They hold a floating white scarf of gauze about their heads to represent spray.) GINGER (excitedly) A fish, look! and waves, by jinks! Is he an April fool fish? DINAH I don't believe he is an April fool fish, Honey, I think he is a flying fish. ( The flying fish sings and dances.) I've come from the ocean deep, From caves where the fishes sleep, I wiggle-waggle my fin And flippity-flop right in. The wavelets will take the blame They'll say it's all the same; So splashity-splash, let's run Oh, jolly, but we'll have fun! (Chairs commence to sway. Ginger is fright- ened.) DINAH Foh de Lawd's sake ! It's mighty rough. GINGER (clings to Dinah) Gee! I'm frightened! (Suddenly a crash, and the table upsets and they all fall over. Lights lowered.) GINGER (screams) Help! Help! POLLY Gee whiz! Gee whiz! SKIPPER By the great jibboom, the fairies are all out to-night. Here come the lightning imps. (Stage dark. The lightning imps enter and ioo THE GEE WHIZ dance; electricity flashlight is used freely, darting here and there phosphorescence if wanted and sparkles. Thunder is heard.) SKIPPER The Lightning Imps certainly are lively, and the old Thunder Giant has been waked up. I hear him roar. I can hear the little rain fairies pitter-patter merrily on the deck. SKIPPER (giving orders) Heave in, dead astern, hard a-lee ! Clew up the topsails. POLLY Rah! rah! rah! Gee whiz ! Gee whiz! DINAH Foh de Lawd's sake, save us, save us ! This storm done come on account of that 'ere whale bone, sure as I'm alive. GINGER Oh, help! Help! We're going to cap- size. SKIPPER Tantrum's all gone, Ginger Boy? GINGER Yes, sir-ee Bob, Skipper! Help! Help! Never again! SKIPPER Well, blow on the ear of the whale, and see if that will help matters. (Ginger blows. The lights come up slowly. The ship is quiet again. The Lightning Sprites retire to one side while the Sun Boy and his Sparkles enter. The flying fish looks in at the port hole with the waves. Even the mosquito returns and buzzes about merrily again.) DINAH (Tableau; praying on her knees in center with Ginger next to her) Oh, Lawd, help ! We thank hebbens we be safe ! THE GEE WHIZ 101 SKIPPER Three cheers for Ginger! CHORUS Hip, hip, hurrah! SKIPPER If you have learned to control your temper, Ginger, you can govern a Kingdom. (Buccaneer Song.) CURTAIN "With this jewel my crown will be finer than any other Queen's." JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL A Play in One Act Characters: JUSTICE WHISKERS. Mistress Pippin. Mistress Peach. The Berry Queen. Chestnut ) TT i j >Heralds ropcorn j CHORUS Fruit Elves, Fire and Snow Fairies. Songs and Dances for "Justice Whiskers' Trial." Song and dance by Chestnut and Popcorn. Song and dance by Mistress Peach, with chorus. Dance of Fire Fairies, with lights low. Snow Fairies' Ballet they scatter cotton, wool and powder. Final chorus. Suggestions for costumes: The Elves must be comical and in gay autumn colors, with funny masks or noses; they might have caps representing vege- tables. The Fire Fairies wear red scarfs and carry flaming torches, while the Snow Fairies wear white tulle and many jewels. Popcorn is comical in white cotton wool, with strings of popcorn and ears of yellow corn. Chestnut, also comical, has a brown costume, the body stuffed in the shape of a chestnut; burrs and strings of chestnuts may be added. Miss Peach and Miss Pippin may have dresses suggesting the labels of canned peaches and apples. The Berry Queen should be gowned in black with a crown of jewels; berries or other small fruits should be intro- duced in her costume. JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL Scene: A vegetable garden in the Autumn. A pumpkin, the home of Justice Whiskers, to the right; a pile of apples and other fruits and vegetables should be in the garden. Entrances right and left. Before the play begins, Justice Whiskers comes in front of the curtain, bows to the audience and makes a speech. He is dressed in yellow and green, has a queer pointed hat and pointed shoes that curl up at the toes; also a long white beard. JUSTICE WHISKERS You probably do not know me, so I will tell you who I am Justice Whis- kers, at your service. My home is a golden pump- kin, for I am ruler of the Vegetable Goblins. I want to add, if anyone in the audience happens to be playing Whiskerettes, he will win the game, for my beard, as you see, reaches to the third button of my waistcoat. I am really here to explain to the children something which perhaps they do not know. The reason they cannot always see the vegetable and fruit fairies is that when boys steal green apples, for instance the fairies inside take some other form. My friend, Mistress Pippin, the apple fairy, turns into a worm to fool you, so you will leave the apple alone. Sometimes the children carry our homes away when we are out, but, in spite of this, we are fond of the little rascals and try to do all manner of nice things for them. (Bows and re- tires. A good moment for some jokes.) (As the curtain rises, Justice Whiskers is again seen, now lying beside his pumpkin home, looking through a spyglass. Chestnut and Popcorn, his her- alds, stand on either side of him. They speak as one, dance together, and are very lively and naughty. They call through megaphones like big morning glories) . WHISKERS (putting down his spy-glass) Chestnut and Popcorn, open the court. HERALDS The court is about to open. The most extraordinary case that ever was known in Elfland will be tried to-day. The Queen of the Berries has disappeared. If there has been foul play, the guilty parties must be brought to punishment. (Fairies peep out of vegetables or behind trees. Justice Whiskers gets up and sits upon his golden pumpkin.) WHISKERS (in a commanding voice) First bring before the court of the kingdom of Fruit Fairies, Mistress Pippin, maid of honor and mistress of JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL 107 i the robes to Her Majesty the good Queen of the Berries. HERALDS (Popcorn and Chestnut, squeaking through their megaphones) Mistress Pippin ! Mistress Pippin ! Wake up and come out of your home. The Justice wants you on the witness stand. (Pretty Mistress Pippin comes out of the pile of apples and courtesies shyly. The other fairies applaud. Justice Whiskers looks uncomfortable and raps on his pumpkin with his mallet.} HERALDS (whispering together) He! he! The Justice wants to be the center of attraction him- self! He! he! WHISKERS (raps for order) Mistress Pippin, I understand. (Severely.) You were leading the or- chestra from the stump of the blasted oak in the forest last night when the Queen was dancing. MISTRESS PIPPIN You are correct, sir. (She courtesies again coyly.) That was just before Her Majesty disappeared. WHISKERS You were her best friend and must have been in her confidence. What in your opinion has happened to Her Majesty? Was she kid- napped? Did she meet with an accident? Or do you know of her having formed some plan of run- ning away? (The el r ces are all attention, lorgnettes and spy- io8 JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL glasses are leveled at Mistress Pippin. She wags her head, points her toes and giggles.) MISTRESS PIPPIN I don't know, I'm sure. I've no idea. (The Justice frowns, the elves hoot, Mistress Pippin is frightened and skips back into her pile of apples. The Justice raps with his mallet, the noise ceases.) WHISKERS She's no good as a witness. Bring on another. HERALDS (through megaphone) Mistress Peach next, please. (Pointing.) Come over here and tell us what you know. You think your red cheeks are mighty pretty, don't you? WHISKERS Come nearer. Hurry up ! (She lin- gers.) Hurry up, I say. You are nearly as pretty as the lost Queen, though you are a naughty mon- key, and she is good. MISTRESS PEACH (saucily) I'll not hurry for any big-wig who ever lived, not even for one so renowned as Justice Whiskers. (She dances leis- urely tip to the Justice and sings.) Hello, Mistress Pippin, Are all the fairies here? You're such a little dear I'm glad you are my friend; On me you may depend I'll serve you till the end- Do you hear? JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL 109 Hello, Mr. Chestnut, Please tell me where you've been? You haven't burst your skin ! A chestnut once boasted, And so he got roasted ! You'd better keep posted Do you hear? Hello, Mr. Popcorn, You're getting such a fop. It's high time you should pop ! You'll turn white in a night, And 'twill serve you just right ! You had better sit tight Do you hear? Hello, Mr. Whiskers, Come kiss me if you dare In Court all things are fair! I know all about you That is why I flout you, Laugh at you and scout you Do you hear? REFRAIN I'm right here on the dot. I do not care a jot What Justice Whiskers says; I know it was a plot, Hippity hop, hippity hop ! WHISKERS (chucks her under the chin and tickles her with a feathery piece of asparagus vine) no JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL What do you think has become of the Queen, eh? You were playing the harp at the back of the or- chestra last night and ought to have some notion about it. MISTRESS PEACH You know more about our Queen than I do. I was playing the harp, as you say, and it was near the climax of the piece when the Berry Queen stood up on her toes, kissed her hands to her audience (she does the same and dances), and then she disappeared. You, Justice, were in the bald-headed row. You got up and followed her. You were out all night. You have only just come back in time to open court. (Boldly.) What did you do with the Berry Queen? (All the fairies become excited and crowd about the pumpkin, shouting and shaking their fists.) ELVES What did you do with the Berry Queen? (They attack him, and he climbs onto his pump- kin and dodges around behind stem. Elves shout in derision.} WHISKERS It is true, I did leave the forest last night, but I didn't know that the Queen had disap- peared until I returned this afternoon. ELVES (in chorus) Where were you? WHISKERS Listen to me, people of many king- doms. I will tell you of my adventures, that you may see I did not spirit away the Berry Queen. ( The fairies become quiet, the Justice fans him- self with a beet-leaf.) JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL in ELFES (in chorus) Tell us, tell us ! WHISKERS I heard the Berry Queen say she wanted more jewels for her crown; that she would marry the man who would get them for her. MISTRESS PEACH (saucily) Did you find them? And is she going to marry you? WHISKERS Alas ! she has disappeared. Wait, my child. You know what a dangerous journey it is to the Painted Desert, where the Petrified Forest is, the fairies' jewel shop. MISTRESS PIPPIN So you braved all the dan- gers for her ! How did you get there ? WHISKERS The bats helped me at night, the birds in the daytime. MISTRESS PEACH Didn't you meet humans? Weren't you frightened? WHISKERS I hid in foxes' holes when they came along. MISTRESS PEACH Well, what did you see when you got there? WHISKERS I found a flat land of burning yellow sand with huge trunks of trees half hidden in the golden grains. HERALDS (always dancing when they speak) How strange ! WHISKERS Chips of these trees had been broken off, and the ground was covered with them. MISTRESS PIPPIN Were they pretty? WHISKERS Yes. Beautiful tiny pieces were red like rubies, others green like emeralds or pale ii2 JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL blue like tourmalines. All were mine for the tak- ing, and I filled my pockets with them. HERALDS (excitedly) Show them to us ! Show them to us ! MISTRESS PEACH I'd like one, please. (Holding out her hand.) WHISKERS (sadly wagging his head and wiping his eyes with a bandanna handkerchief) Alas ! I haven't any jewels now. HERALDS We don't believe you. You are hiding them. Where are they? MISTRESS PEACH You're making believe, you clever old goblin. You never went to the fairies' jewel shop at all. Here, cross your heart. Truly, truly, black and bluely? WHISKERS (crosses his heart) It is true, I went. But coming back the birds and the bats demanded payment, as well as the foxes, too. MISTRESS PEACH (disappointed) There are no jewels left? WHISKERS Only this one that I saved for the good Berry Queen, and now, alas! she has disappeared, so I fear there will be no wedding. (Whiskers shows a big ruby and wipes his eyes. The elves gather about him again.) MISTRESS PEACH Do you really love her? WHISKERS Yes, I love the Berry Queen, and I want her for my wife. Help me, you people of many kingdoms, to find the beautiful queen. JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL 113 HERALDS We'll hunt. ( They dance, waving their megaphones.) Oh dear! we've stirred up a bad fire fairy! (Fire fairy comes from pile of dead leaves and dances; others stream in after her.) MISTRESS PIPPIN You are just an old Chestnut (pointing at him). Look out or you'll get roasted 1 CHESTNUT You'll get roasted yourself, Miss Apple. POPCORN Oh dear! I'm afraid I may pop if fire comes too near me. MISTRESS PIPPIN Pop the question? please do! Poppity Pop, goes the corn, He's leaving us all forlorn; Like the chestnut, he boasted, And the chestnut got roasted, Poppity Pop, goes the corn ! (Joins the mad race about the stage, the fire fairies streaming after her in hot pursuit all shouting and hooting and screaming; as they pass to the back of stage, the Berry Queen steps out from almost beneath the pumpkin, where she has been hidden by the leaves of the vine.) BERRY QUEEN What is all this noise? Have you all gone mad? (Seeing her, the elves stop running from the fire fairy and gather about her, cheering lustily.) ELVES Hurrah! hurrah! BERRY OUEEN What is the matter? ELFES Hurrah ! She's come back ! BERRY QUEEN But I've been here all the time! I went to sleep rocking a baby elf that was taking her nap in a pea-pod cradle. It grew very warm and I woke up. Why were you all running? FIRE FAIRIES (streaming down stage) Whurroo ! whurroo ! whurroo ! sssscatter ! (Elves rush about like autumn leaves hi a -wind; Berry Queen turns to Whiskers, who helps her mount to top of pumpkin out of danger.) WHISKERS (standing on his pumpkin) I've got the ruby for you ! Will you marry me even if I am old ? BERRY QUEEN What a brave and wise justice you are, indeed ! I will if we can ever get rid of the fire fairies, for I love you. WHISKERS How happy I am I have found you, and you are willing to marry me; but oh dear! I am powerless to stop the fire fairies. BERRY QUEEN Hurry and think what we had better do. We shall be burned ! ELFES We shall be burned ! Hurry ! BERRY QUEEN Can't you think of some way to stop the fire fairies, you are so clever, Whiskers? They may ruin our kingdom and destroy us, too. WHISKERS Well, let us call on the snow fairies ! Maybe they will help us. Heralds, summon them. They hate fire mortally and will put it out per- haps. HERALDS Come, Snow Fairies, and put out the wicked fire fairies. JUSTICE WHISKERS' TRIAL 115 (During the excitement Whiskers turns into a young man. Snow fairies appear and whirl about, making everything pretty with sparkling sno