50. LORD STREET. 
 
 Liverpool. |. 
 
 
 
 Ex Libris 
 C. K. OGDEN

 
 ELEANOR LESLIE
 
 /0/ O? / / y 
 
 (}6ea/?z0rJ&ue< a^Mi^a^af 23. 
 
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 ELEANOR LESLIE 
 
 H HDemoir 
 
 J. M. STONE 
 
 Author of " FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH," ETC. 
 
 LONDON AND LEAMINGTON: 
 
 ART AND BOOK COMPANY 
 
 1898
 
 PRINTED BY 
 
 THE ART AND BOOK COMPANY. 
 LONDON AND LEAMINGTON.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTKK PAGK 
 
 I. INTRODUCTORY. AN ENGLISH FAMILY A HUNDRED 
 
 YEARS AGO ....... i 
 
 II. SPRINGTIME ....... 9 
 
 III. EARLY MARRIED LIFE. JOURNAL IN SCOTLAND . 23 
 
 IV. JOYS AND SORROWS 47 
 
 V. DISSENTING INFLUENCES ..... 56 
 
 VI. HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES .... 69 
 
 VII. THE PARTING OF THK WAYS ..... 90 
 
 VIII. REUNION ... ..... 104 
 
 IX. VOCATIONS . . . . . . . 128 
 
 X. THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND . . 150 
 XL FOUR YEARS IN ROME . . . . , .174 
 
 XII. GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS . , . . 222 
 
 XIII. AUTUMN 252 
 
 XIV. AT ST. MARGARET'S ...... 274 
 
 XV. WORK FINISHED . .... 306 
 
 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE AT THE AGE OF TWENTY-THREE . FnMtus/>i fl -r 
 
 ARCHIBALD LESLIE . . . . .. . . 18 
 
 THE TOLBOOTH, ELGIN . . . . ; . ' . 28 
 
 INVERGARKY CASTLE ....... 33 
 
 URQUHART CASTLE 35 
 
 THE SOUND OK MULI 36 
 
 " THE COBBLER," LOCH Low ... . . 45 
 
 PUTNEY AND FULHAM CHURCHES IN 1826 . . 71 
 
 JOHN FALCONER ATLEE . 76 
 
 PART OF ST. MARGARET'S CONVENT, EDINBURGH . . 275 
 IN THE GROUNDS OF THE OLD HOUSE ON WEST HILL, 
 
 WANDSWORTH . 282 
 
 MRS. LESLIE AT THE AGE OF EIGHTY-SIX . . . 299
 
 ERRATA. 
 
 Page 106, line i6.For Rev. Mr. Salter read Suther. 
 
 ,, 129, ,, 8. ,, Mrs. Hill Barton read Burton. 
 
 .. 177, ,, 1 7- Tor de Specchi read Tor de' Specchu 
 
 i 1 77> 2 9- > Count Demakolis read Demaklis.
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 INTRODUCTORY. AN ENGLISH FAMILY A HUNDRED 
 YEARS AGO. 
 
 PERHAPS in these days of multiplied biographies 
 little apology is needed for writing the life of 
 one who, in an unassuming womanly manner, 
 and as much by her large warm heart and 
 clear judgment as by her marked individuality, 
 exercised no small influence on all around her. 
 This influence, at first limited to her family 
 and immediate surroundings, was afterwards 
 apparent in the lives of many whose names 
 were well known in the social and religious 
 world about the middle of the present century. 
 
 As every character is more or less built up 
 out of early associations, and is not entirely 
 independent of its antecedents, it may be well 
 to glance at the history of Mrs. Leslie's parents 
 in the years preceding her birth and during her 
 childhood. 
 
 She was the eldest daughter of Mr. John 
 Falconer Atlee, the son of a country gentleman,
 
 2 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 from whom he should have inherited a con- 
 siderable family property, named Fordhook, 
 near Acton in Middlesex.* But when still quite 
 a young man, he discovered that his father had 
 gambled away his estate and had fled, leaving 
 him to support his mother and a younger 
 brother. His handsome appearance, and 
 a certain stateliness of manner were indications 
 of a noble and elevated -mind. Uncrushed by 
 this heavy blow to his prospects, he at once 
 took upon himself his father's obligations, and 
 sought and obtained employment as clerk in 
 a distillery at Bristol. He must soon have 
 made his mark and have impressed his em- 
 ployers with confidence in his abilities, for when 
 
 * According to an article which appeared in the Philadelphia 
 Inquirer in 1895, an ancestor of Mr. Falconer Atlee's, a certain 
 William Atlee, of Fordhook, left England in the reign of George II. 
 as private secretary to Lord Howe. His father had sent him out of 
 the way to prevent his marriage with a Miss Jane Alcock, a niece 
 of William Pitt, afterwards Lord Chatham. The young lady was 
 maid of honour to Queen Caroline, and both the King and the 
 Queen wished her to marry a member of the royal family. But she 
 followed Mr. William Atlee to Barbadoes in 1731, where she was 
 united to him on her arrival. The couple afterwards settled at 
 Philadelphia, which became the cradle of the American branch of 
 the Atlee family. William Atlee joined Washington's forces, 
 raised a regiment called " Atlee's brigade," and after the war 
 acquired a property to which he gave the name of Fordhook. A 
 word may be added as to the origin of the name Atlee, written by 
 some of the American representatives of the family in two words 
 At Lee. Richard I. is said to have given the name to an 
 illegitimate child of his, whose mother was a lady of his Court. 
 When the child was born, a messenger came to inform the King, 
 and asked what its name was to be. " Where was it born ?" asked 
 the King. "At Lee in Kent," was the answer. "Then let him 
 be called At Lee," was the royal pleasure.
 
 INTR OD UCTOR Y. 3 
 
 still very young, and occupying a subordinate 
 position, Pitt having drawn up a Bill which 
 distillers feared would injure them, Mr. Falconer 
 Atlee was appointed one of a deputation sent 
 from Bristol to interview the Prime Minister 
 on their behalf. After the interview, these 
 gentlemen spent the day on the Thames. As 
 they passed Wandsworth, they were struck with 
 the remains of some sort of factory, which 
 appeared to have been a failure, and was in 
 ruins. They landed, examined the place, 
 agreed that it would do very well for a distillery, 
 and in imagination started one there. Later on 
 Mr. Atlee got some men of capital to advance 
 money, built a distillery on the site of the 
 ruined factory, and eventually bought out the 
 shareholders. Through this distillery he, in 
 course of time, realized a large fortune. 
 
 In spite, however, of his practical character 
 and strong business capacity, his mind was 
 somewhat curiously impressionable and sensi- 
 tive. Being one day in a boat with several 
 companions, he was all at once without any 
 apparent reason, seized with an imperative 
 desire to be put on shore. The others re- 
 monstrated, but on his insisting, agreed to land 
 him, but at a place where, to reach the shore, 
 he must wade through a quantity of deep mud. 
 He got out of the boat, waded through the mud 
 and returned home. All his companions were
 
 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 drowned, and he would have shared their fate 
 but for his unaccountable impulse. 
 
 At another time he was dreaming, in the 
 middle of the night, that a piece of wood had 
 got into a pipe in his distillery and had stopped 
 it up. In the midst of his dream he was 
 awakened by the arrival of a messenger. 
 Something had gone wrong with the machinery. 
 He hurried off to the distillery, pointed to the 
 place in the pipe which he had seen in his 
 dream, and ordered it to be cut there. Those 
 about him demurred, but he held to his point, 
 the pipe was cut in the place indicated and 
 there was a piece of wood which had caused 
 the mischief. 
 
 The ambition of his life was to save enough 
 money to buy back the property which his 
 father had lost, and if his son had been like- 
 minded he would doubtless have succeeded. 
 The place had a great fascination for him. One 
 day, as he was walking near Acton, a gentleman 
 in a gig pulled up and asked if he would like 
 a drive. He accepted the offer and got up. 
 Presently they passed Fordhook, and Mr. Atlee 
 said, " My grandfather used to drive out of 
 those gates four-in-hand." 
 
 " What ! " exclaimed the other, " are you 
 one of the Atlees of Fordhook?" He an- 
 swered that he was, and the man replied, 
 "Then, sir, I am not ashamed to own that
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 5 
 
 my grandfather was coachman to your grand- 
 father." 
 
 About the year 1796, Mr. Falconer Atlee 
 married a Mrs. Palmer, a widow, and the 
 daughter of that Mr. Tomkinson who had the 
 merit of discovering Turner's genius. Turner 
 was the son of a barber, and Mr. Tomkinson 
 placed him as pupil with the best artist of the 
 day. The lad soon surpassed his master and 
 became our greatest landscape painter. The 
 son of his friend and patron was a well-known 
 authority on art. 
 
 Mrs. Palmer had been left badly off, and 
 had accepted the position of governess in the 
 Talbot Bridges family of Godnestone,* by all 
 the members of which she was greatly beloved 
 and esteemed. When she married Mr. Atlee, 
 her former pupils, for whom she had the 
 greatest affection, were often tobe seen at her 
 house. Her tenderness for children was very 
 marked, and in after years, Mrs. Leslie would 
 speak of her mother as having had it in a far 
 greater degree than herself, a statement, how- 
 ever, which her family did not allow to pass 
 unchallenged. 
 
 Mrs. Falconer Atlee's charm of manner, 
 resulting from a sweet and amiable disposition, 
 and from a very sincere and gentle piety, was 
 felt by all who came in contact with her. She 
 
 * In Kent.
 
 6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 had a great admiration for her husband, and 
 appreciated his grand qualities. They shared 
 the same tastes as well as the same religious 
 opinions, which were for the most part those 
 of the evangelical school then in vogue. In 
 one point, however, she formed an independent 
 judgment, and was known not to admire those 
 preachers who made "so much of St. Paul, 
 and so little of our Lord." Her reverence for 
 the office of a clergyman would perhaps be 
 thought exaggerated in these days. It led her 
 to give him precedence over every one else, 
 and although one or two successive vicars of 
 their parish were anything but agreeable men, 
 when invited to dine at her house they were 
 always placed at her right hand, whatever the 
 rank of the other guests might be. Her pity 
 for the poor induced her to give to every 
 beggar. 
 
 The home life of this typical English family 
 was a particularly happy one. The Atlees en- 
 joyed great wealth, and the ease and abun- 
 dance which wealth brings. The days still 
 were when servants were proud to identify 
 themselves with their employers, and in this 
 instance all were as a matter of course de- 
 voted to master, mistress, and children. The 
 household was conducted on lines of patri- 
 archal simplicity, with something of patri- 
 archal impressiveness. Every Sunday the
 
 INTRO D UCTOR Y. ^ 
 
 head gardener with his wife, who attended 
 to the lodge gates, would proceed solemnly 
 to the servants' hall to dinner, a portentous 
 nosegay figuring in his button-hole. They 
 would pass the dining-room windows towards 
 the end of luncheon, and Mrs. Falconer Atlee 
 would sometimes be standing there with her 
 children to see them pass, the worthy couple 
 evidently delighted to be noticed, but as 
 evidently considering it an unpardonable 
 breach of etiquette to look up. But tempers 
 were sometimes bad even in those con- 
 tented days, and the gardener's wife was 
 reputed to be something of a shrew. One 
 day Lord Arthur Gordon Lennox rode up 
 to the lodge gate with a present for the 
 children under his arm, and rang the bell. 
 She took him for a groom, and rated him 
 soundly for not going to the back door, a 
 kind of mistake which was curiously of less 
 frequent occurrence in the past than in the 
 present democratic age, which tends to make 
 individuals of all classes at least look alike. 
 
 Among his many varied gifts Mr. Falconer 
 Atlee possessed that of music in a very re- 
 markable degree, a talent which his eldest 
 daughter inherited from him and which greatly 
 added to the charm of home life and social 
 intercourse. There was at Wandsworth a 
 colony of Quakers, among whom the Atlees
 
 8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 numbered some acquaintances. Theoretically, 
 the Quakers hold, or, at any rate, at that time 
 held, music to be an utterly worldly and 
 good-for-nothing pastime. But the fascination 
 of Mr. Atlee's playing was irresistible, and he 
 was once invited to bring his violin to an 
 evening gathering of Friends. The entertain- 
 ment was at its height, when suddenly a loud 
 ring at the door-bell seemed to awaken their 
 dormant consciences, the violin was hastily 
 pushed under a sofa, and the Quakers as- 
 sumed a demure air as they sat waiting for 
 the result of the peal that had startled them. 
 Presently an old gentleman entered, cast a 
 severe, searching look round the room, and, 
 addressing the master of the house, said 
 sternly : 
 
 " Friend, methought I heard sounds of vain 
 sport as I approached thine house ! " 
 
 A chorus of reassurances arose from all 
 present, but the violin remained hidden till the 
 old man had taken his departure, a circum- 
 stance which adds a humorous element to 
 the commonly received notion of Quaker 
 truthfulness.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 SPRINGTIME. 
 
 MR. FALCONER ATLEE'S eldest child, Eleanor, 
 was born on December 3, 1800. Her first 
 years were passed at Wandsworth, then a 
 pretty country place not too near London, and 
 entirely different from the populous suburb it 
 has since become. She must have been a 
 singularly happy child, reared as she was 
 under the eye of the tenderest and most 
 sensible of mothers. The first incident re- 
 corded of her childhood is that her nurse used 
 to take her out into the garden very early 
 in the morning, and after spreading a clean 
 cloth on the grass still wet with dew, would 
 wash her face with it in order to give her a 
 fresh, rosy colour. Perhaps her life-long habit 
 of early rising dated from this time. Her 
 young life was certainly not vexed with pre- 
 mature study, for her mother's theory was 
 that until a child is seven years old, it needs 
 chiefly to be taught but three things to say 
 its prayers reverently, to speak the truth 
 always, and to obey at the first word. When 
 the time came for other less important things, 
 the greatest care was taken that the in-
 
 io ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 struction should be the best of its kind. The 
 day had not yet come when the world was 
 ringing with the battle cry "education," but 
 in some ways people were better educated 
 than now. Learning fewer things, they 
 learned them well. 
 
 Prout taught her drawing, a pupil of 
 Beethoven's music. As for French, she 
 learned it of a distinguished emigre, le General 
 de Missy, who even after his return to France 
 continued to take an interest in his former 
 pupil, keeping up a correspondence with her, 
 and carefully pointing out any mistakes in her 
 French letters to him. Three younger sisters 
 subsequently shared her studies and the 
 attention of two successive governesses, until 
 Eleanor fell ill of a fever, so severe and pro- 
 longed that when she recovered it was found 
 that she had forgotten all that she had 
 previously learned, and must even be taught 
 to read over again. In after years, no one 
 would have supposed that her education had 
 been thus completely wiped out as far as it 
 had gone, so accomplished, well read, and 
 highly cultured did she appear. But besides 
 her natural gifts of mind and intelligence en- 
 hanced by education, she had inherited her 
 mother's charm of manner, and had been 
 taught to have that thoughtful consideration 
 for others which made her so irresistibly at-
 
 SPRINGTIME. ii 
 
 tractive throughout her life. Not perhaps 
 strikingly handsome, she was nevertheless 
 very prepossessing in appearance, with sweet 
 English blue eyes, and soft fair hair, rather 
 petite than otherwise, but graceful. Her bright 
 and gentle words and ways won all hearts. 
 
 The many interesting people whom the 
 Atlees gathered about them in the picturesque 
 old house at Wandsworth were Eleanor's 
 friends of many years to come. Among them 
 were the Wilberforces, the Langdales (who 
 suffered so much in the Lord George Gordon 
 riots), the Brackenburys, the Talbot Bridges, 
 the Owens, Riickers, and many others. She 
 had a special gift for friendship, knew how to 
 value it, and probably never lost a friend 
 through want of attention or of tact on her 
 part. 
 
 As an illustration of her fidelity to the 
 affections of her girlhood may be mentioned 
 her delight at meeting Lady Hardy nge (nee 
 Brackenbury) at the age of seventy-eight, 
 after an interval of nearly sixty years. But 
 her tenderest sympathies were reserved in 
 those early days for her immediate family 
 circle, and her three sisters and only brother 
 claimed a large share in the joys and sorrows 
 of her whole life. 
 
 Of this beloved brother, Falconer, some- 
 thing must be said here. With all his talents,
 
 i 2 ELEANOK LESLIE. 
 
 and they were many, perhaps his greatest 
 aptitude in those days was for getting into 
 scrapes. He was confided to the care or 
 neglect of one clergyman after another, to 
 be educated, and was invariably sent home as 
 unmanageable. But the religious spirit of the 
 family sometimes came out in him, and in an 
 amusing way. On one memorable occasion, 
 when he came home as usual in disgrace, 
 being rather seriously disturbed about the 
 matter, he got some bread and wine, read over 
 them the words of the Communion Service in 
 the Church of England Prayer Book, gave 
 himself Communion, and in a diary which he 
 kept at that time, wrote that he felt much 
 better. When old enough he was sent to Win- 
 chester, where he was a contemporary of the 
 future Lord Beaconsfield and of Earl Cowley. 
 In after years, when the latter was British 
 Ambassador in Paris, the three passed a 
 merry evening in recalling the event which 
 had caused young Atlee's career at Win- 
 chester to end abruptly. It was during what 
 has since been known as "the great rebel- 
 lion." Some encroachment had been made 
 by the masters on the boys' rights, granted 
 to them by royal charter,* and a sort of 
 barring-out ensued. The little boys, among 
 
 * The boys' grievance was that a master who was not a 
 Wickhamite had been appointed.
 
 SPRINGTIME. 13 
 
 whom was young Falconer Atlee, were not 
 allowed to take part in the insubordination, 
 but when all the authorities, in full academic 
 costume, went to hold a parley with the 
 barrers-out at a certain window, the small 
 insurgents, determined to have their share of 
 the fun, turned the college fire-engine upon 
 them. When the Principal began to address 
 the malcontents he was deluged with water, 
 and a good many panes of glass were broken. 
 Some of the boys went home without wait- 
 ing for the consequences ; but the affair was 
 mentioned in Parliament, and subsequently 
 the Winchester boys celebrated the triumph 
 of British fair-play. The friendship between 
 Lord Cowley, then the Hon. Henry Richard 
 Wellesley, and young Falconer, dated from 
 this time and continued throughout their 
 lives. When the veteran statesman became 
 Ambassador in Paris, he at once made his 
 old friend's son his private secretary. 
 
 Falconer was something of a dandy, in the 
 days when dandyism, as distinct from the 
 style of the present young man of fashion, 
 was in vogue, and an anecdote concerning his 
 dress carries us back to a far simpler world. 
 When he was about fifteen, swallow-tail coats 
 came into fashion, and he had one. But his 
 mother was distressed about it there was 
 something ridiculous to her mind in a coat
 
 i 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 having such extremely long, narrow points, 
 and secretly, at night, she cut off about an 
 inch of it. The boy was naturally indignant, 
 and at first his father sided with him, with a 
 grave : " Goodie," to his wife, " you should 
 not have done that," adding : " Now, my boy, 
 put on the coat, and let me see how it 
 looks." And then, with charming diplomacy : 
 "Well, I declare, it does look better!" 
 Upon which the young dandy was pacified. 
 
 Another instance of the way in which 
 Mr. Atlee managed his family is interesting 
 from its cleverness. 
 
 He was a regular Church and King man, 
 devoted to the Established religion, and 
 abhorring anything like dissent, which was at 
 that time beginning to make progress in the 
 country. His wife and daughters having 
 heard of a certain dissenting minister who had 
 the reputation of being very eloquent, were 
 anxious to hear him preach. Mr. Atlee, with- 
 out forbidding them to go to his chapel, made 
 it clear that he did not much like their going. 
 However, he said nothing, but when they had 
 started, he went there himself, returned before 
 them, and when they came back, questioned 
 them about the sermon. They began to give 
 an account of it, he interrupting them occa- 
 sionally by suggesting : " Then I suppose he 
 said this, or that ? " letting them know that he
 
 SPRINGTIME. 15 
 
 thought the sermon stale stuff, and so put 
 them out of conceit of the preacher. 
 
 In course of time, Falconer went to Cam- 
 bridge, and whatever else he did to dis- 
 tinguish himself, he introduced boating there. 
 
 There was one point of resemblance at 
 least between him and his father. Both were 
 extremely generous, but in different ways. 
 Mr. Atlee never refused a beggar, his son 
 never gave to one, but would lavish large 
 sums on any one in whom he was interested. 
 Sometimes, of course, he was a victim of 
 impositions. One day, at Cambridge, there 
 was a knock at his room door, and in came 
 a delicate-looking young man, who declared 
 himself to be in very bad circumstances, and 
 by his own fault. He was, he said, too weak 
 to do hard work, but he copied rare poems 
 and other things, a bundle of which he had 
 with him. Falconer told him to leave those 
 he had with him, and to call another day. 
 By degrees he became interested in the 
 young man, and gave him money and clothes. 
 During the long vacation, he saw him in 
 Hyde Park, very smartly dressed, and con- 
 gratulated him on his improved fortunes. To 
 his amazement, the man declared that he had 
 not the honour of his acquaintance. Falconer 
 was furious, but saw nothing more of his 
 former protege till well on in the next term,
 
 1 6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 when at last the well - known knock was 
 heard. After inviting his visitor to enter, he 
 sprang to the door, locked it and began to 
 give a sound thrashing to the poor wretch, 
 who shrieked and bellowed to such a pitch 
 that soon there was a hammering without. 
 Falconer opened the door, feeling sure that 
 it was the Dean, but it turned out to be a 
 friend of his, named Hammond. 
 
 " What on earth are you about ? " cried 
 Hammond. 
 
 " Why," said Falconer, " this blackguard 
 White has done me out of ^40 and a lot of 
 clothes, and then cut me in the Park." 
 
 "That's not White," replied Hammond, "his 
 name is Black." 
 
 "He told me it was White." 
 
 " He told me it was Black," assured 
 Hammond, and added : "He has been doing 
 me too. I'll help you." 
 
 So the two pummelled the wretched 
 fellow till he was glad enough to slink away, 
 and say nothing about the thrashing he had 
 received. 
 
 On leaving Cambridge, young Falconer 
 Atlee made what was then called the "grand 
 tour," in company with an infidel tutor, who 
 undermined whatever foundation of faith he 
 had received from his parents. The man had 
 been thought admirable in every way, and
 
 SPRINGTIME. 17 
 
 the greatest confidence was placed in him by 
 the Atlees. However, on the very first 
 evening of their travels, seeing a Bible among 
 his pupil's baggage, he contemptuously asked 
 the young man whether he believed in that 
 book. On receiving a reply in the affirmative, 
 he begged for the loan of it, and sat up all 
 night, drawing lines under passages which 
 he thought bad. Falconer was taken aback, 
 and at his tutor's suggestion began to read 
 Voltaire and other infidel authors. In time, 
 it became a sort of craze with him to argue 
 against revealed religion, and as he was very 
 clever, he of course got the better of those 
 who entered into the fray of words, less well 
 equipped than himself. When he returned 
 home from his travels, his father insisted on 
 his working in the distillery, a vocation not 
 at all according to the young man's taste or 
 inclination. Nevertheless he made up his 
 mind to the inevitable, and for some time did 
 very efficient work, introducing a steam- 
 engine, one of the first instances of steam 
 power being applied to machinery. 
 
 After some years, he married a very 
 charming woman, his father making him the 
 handsome allowance of ,3,000 a year, in 
 the hope that he would save money, and 
 eventually realize his own darling project of 
 buying back Fordhook. But as has been
 
 1 8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 already said, Falconer did not share his 
 father's ambition. He preferred to retire 
 from the business, and live on a much smaller 
 income abroad, ultimately settling in Paris ; 
 and the property was let slip for ever. 
 
 But to return to Eleanor. She had re- 
 ceived one advantageous offer of marriage 
 after another and had refused them all, to the 
 despair of her younger sisters, who com- 
 plained pathetically that no one would think 
 of proposing to them until she was out of the 
 question. There was no doubt that she was 
 blocking the way, and, always ready to sacri- 
 fice herself for others, she promised her 
 sisters that she would accept the next suit- 
 able offer. Perhaps, too, she had some 
 vague notion as to the direction from which 
 it would come, although there were at least 
 two eligible aspirants to her hand at that 
 time. It came from a gentleman whose ac- 
 quaintance she had made through his cousin, 
 the Hon. James Sinclair, connected by mar- 
 riage with intimate friends of the Atlee family. 
 Eleanor used to distinguish him from her 
 other admirers by speaking of him as " the 
 man with the pretty eyes." He was a certain 
 Mr. Archibald Leslie. When her father de- 
 sired to have some information with regard 
 to his position and worldly prospects, he de- 
 scribed himself as the son of a Scottish
 
 SPRINGTIME. 19 
 
 minister in Morayshire, in business in London. 
 On making further inquiries, Mr. Falconer 
 Atlee found that Mr. Leslie had represented 
 his position in the least advantageous light 
 possible ; that his father, a very remarkable 
 man, belonging to a good old family, was, like 
 Lockhart's father, one of a now almost extinct 
 class of laird-ministers in the Highlands, living 
 on his own estate, and had married the sister 
 of the Earl of Caithness, a sister of his own 
 being married to Lord Duffus. It was further 
 discovered that Mr. Leslie had come to London 
 with the double purpose of making a fortune 
 and of prosecuting his father's claim to the 
 Lindores title. He was born in 1789, and 
 was therefore eleven years older than Miss 
 Falconer Atlee, another item of suitability in 
 the match. The second of three sons, and 
 one of a numerous family, he had lost his 
 mother while he was still very young, and 
 Lady Caithness having a tender affection for 
 the motherless boy, a great part of his child- 
 hood had been spent at Barrogill Castle, his 
 uncle's place in Caithness-shire. At other 
 times he had paid long visits to his grand- 
 father, the old laird of Balnageith, and had 
 frequented the one school at Forres for all 
 classes of boys. Here the foundation of his 
 studies was laid, the only companion of his 
 own position being William Gordon Cumming
 
 20 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 of Altyre, with whom he formed a lasting 
 friendship. The education received at this 
 school, which appears to have been good as 
 far as it went, was probably supplemented by 
 his father, for he afterwards went to Aberdeen 
 College, where he remained till 1808, a step 
 for which he would scarcely have been pre- 
 pared by the village schoolmaster of those 
 days. He then went to live with a Unitarian 
 clergyman, the Rev. Dr. Lyndsay, who had 
 a large school at Blackheath, and seems to 
 have made the best of his opportunities, for 
 he became a very good classical scholar, and 
 for those times spoke French well. But he 
 was always diffident about his acquirements, 
 and when an over-confident friend proposed 
 that they two should make a tour in France, 
 he objected that he couldn't speak the language. 
 
 " Oh, I'll parley for you," assured his friend 
 glibly, and they got on very well with English 
 till they arrived at an hotel in Calais. They 
 were washing before dinner, and were thor- 
 oughly wet before they perceived that there 
 were no towels in the room, whereupon the 
 friend who could speak French rang the bell, 
 and this attempt at conversation ensued : 
 
 Garfon : " Monsieur ? " 
 
 Englishman : " Towels." 
 
 Garfon : " Monsieur ? " 
 
 Englishman (impatiently) : " Towels ! "
 
 SPRINGTIME. : r 
 
 Garcon : " Monsieur ? " 
 
 Englishman : " D your eyes, give me 
 
 something to wipe my face with ! " 
 
 When young Leslie could speak for laugh- 
 ing, he said, " Essuie-mains," and their wants 
 were at once supplied. It was generally in 
 this way that the one who did not speak 
 French came to the rescue of his friend who 
 thought he did. 
 
 There was a singular fascination about him, 
 and a natural refinement, together with a readi- 
 ness to do a kindness or pay attention to any 
 one who seemed neglected, which perhaps 
 even more than the " pretty eyes " attracted 
 Miss Falconer Atlee. But a miniature taken 
 about the time of his marriage shows him to 
 have been extremely handsome, with an in- 
 describable air of bright distinction. His high 
 spirits, good looks and agreeable conversation 
 made him a welcome guest everywhere, and 
 fitted him more for a dilettante life than for 
 the plodding business one to which he had 
 pledged himself. If he could but have fol- 
 lowed his natural bent, how different might his 
 lot have been ! But for a time the sky was 
 cloudless, and when on July 8, 1823, these 
 two exceptionally gifted beings were united, 
 it would seem as though more than most 
 mortals they might look forward to an exist- 
 ence " happy ever after."
 
 22 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Eleanor's three sisters now came in for 
 their share of attention, Mary, the eldest of 
 the three, being married to Major Maxwell 
 four months later.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. JOURNAL IN SCOTLAND. 
 
 FOR the first two years after their marriage, 
 with the exception of a short visit to Scot- 
 land, in which Mrs. Leslie was introduced to 
 her new relations, the young couple resided 
 in Charlotte Square, Bloomsbury, then a very 
 central part of London. Little seems to have 
 been wanting to their happiness and comfort ; 
 but unclouded happiness is for the most part 
 uneventful, and until 1825 the family records 
 are extremely meagre in details. Sharing the 
 same tastes, and notably, that of music, they 
 would take every opportunity of hearing the 
 best of its kind, and since at that time the Mass 
 music at the church of the Bavarian embassy 
 in Warwick Street was much talked of, they 
 would often assist at High Mass there. Dogma 
 counted for little in the Church of Eng- 
 land in those days ; people went to which- 
 ever place of worship seemed to promise 
 a good sermon, and at Warwick Street the 
 Rev. Dr. Archer preached somewhat in the 
 Addison manner, which was much admired. 
 Mr. and Mrs. Leslie would therefore go to 
 hear him on account of his excellent style and
 
 24 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 delivery, without adverting to the difference 
 of his teaching from that to which they had 
 always been accustomed, and it does not 
 appear that what they heard on these occasions 
 had any influence on their religious feelings 
 or convictions, or that it in any way shocked 
 or surprised them. Mr. Leslie also accom- 
 panied his wife to the Church of England 
 services, although he much preferred the 
 Presbyterian form of worship, and never felt 
 at home in the English Church, and was un- 
 able to the last to find his places in the 
 Prayer Book. He probably shared his father's 
 way of thinking, the good old minister being 
 often heard to say that he could understand 
 the Presbyterian or the Catholic Church, but 
 that he could not understand the Church of 
 England. On Mrs. Leslie's first visit to his 
 manse, soon after her marriage, when she 
 dutifully attended the services of his kirk, he 
 seemed to think it was his duty Sunday after 
 Sunday to give her " a bellum against the 
 Episcopalians." Many years afterwards his 
 son expressed his horror when for the first 
 time he saw a clergyman of the Church of 
 England preach in a surplice, denouncing it 
 as an innovation and "a rag of Popery." 
 
 Mr. Leslie's wit and singular grace of 
 manner, together with his wife's accomplish- 
 ments her musical talent was exceptionally
 
 EARL Y MARRIED LIFE. 25 
 
 fine attracted round them a large circle of 
 friends. Hospitality of the most generous, 
 open-hearted kind was his favourite hobby. 
 He prided himself on his wines and on his 
 glass, cut to his own designs, while the innate 
 refinement of mind which reveals itself in 
 a man's dress, was especially remarked in the 
 exquisite quality and style of his linen, a 
 much more noticeable item, in the days of 
 ruffles and general elaboration than now. It 
 was even whispered about society that the 
 fineness and originality of Mr. Leslie's shirts 
 had so attracted the Duke of Devonshire that 
 the maker had borrowed one of them to 
 show him. The rest of his attire was a kind 
 of declaration of political principles. Being 
 a Whig, he wore the Fox uniform, blue coat, 
 brass buttons and buff waistcoat, colours per- 
 petuated to this day in the Whig organ of 
 that party, the Edinburgh Review. 
 
 Here and there we have glimpses of gaieties, 
 a dinner at Mr. Leslie's before the Caledonian 
 ball, for instance, at which the ladies were in 
 fancy dress, and Mr. Leslie himself, hand- 
 somer than ever, in kilt and plaid, carrying 
 all before him with a grand and noble sim- 
 plicity all his own. 
 
 In April, 1824, his eldest child, a daughter, 
 was born, and named after her mother. Then, 
 gradually the joyous note dies down. Enter-
 
 26 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 prising and sanguine, he soon grew weary of 
 counting-house routine, for which he was in 
 every way unsuited, and tried to push his 
 fortunes independently. In this he failed 
 signally ; his health suffered under the pressure 
 of harassing business difficulties, and gloomy 
 forebodings only too well grounded. The 
 crisis came a few months after his child's 
 birth, and it is characteristic of the generous 
 and more than honourable, if also improvident 
 nature of the man, that he promised (although 
 legally absolved) to indemnify all those who 
 had suffered by his failure. This obligation, 
 gratuitously undertaken, weighed him down 
 throughout the greater part of his life, al- 
 though there were occasional intervals of 
 prosperity, or at least of freedom from carking 
 care. It now became necessary to exercise 
 the greatest economy ; the home in Charlotte 
 Square was broken up, and a visit to Scot- 
 land undertaken, in the hope that it would 
 have a beneficial effect upon Mr. Leslie's 
 health and spirits. 
 
 It is to these circumstances that we owe 
 the interesting journal which his wife wrote 
 for her mother's entertainment during her 
 travels in Scotland, which was a comparative 
 terra incognita to English people at the begin- 
 ning of this century. For with the exception 
 of Dr. Johnson's Tour in the Hebrides and
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 27 
 
 one or two smaller books, little had been 
 written about the manners and customs of 
 a country as far away as Russia is in these 
 days, and incomparably less well known. 
 
 Moreover, autres temps antres mceurs, and 
 readers of to-day, knowing their Scotland as 
 they know every corner of Europe, may be 
 interested to see it through the eyes of an 
 English lady who described it in 1825, when 
 travelling meant something more than occupy- 
 ing a corner of a comfortable railway carriage 
 with a Murray or Bcedeker, and the certainty 
 of case and convenience at the journey's end. 
 
 In the summer of 1825 [writes Mrs. Leslie] we visited 
 Scotland, in the hope that his native air and relaxation from 
 business might restore Leslie to health. We journeyed to 
 Edinburgh with Major and Mrs Sinclair, and after passing ten 
 days there with Lady Caithness* and her son, proceeded to 
 Mount Coffer. f 
 
 A fortnight of kindness and attention from Major Dunbar 
 .and Jessie, though it alleviated, did not cure, Archie, and we 
 then travelled on to Elgin. In consequence of the Manse of 
 St. Andrew's having been burnt the previous February, the 
 worthy minister \ had taken up his abode in one of his 
 ancestor's dwellings in the town. This was entered by a low, 
 arched way, paved, and leading to a small garden for vege- 
 tables, ornamented by a sun-dial, with angels carved round it, 
 standing in the centre. On the right side, under the arched 
 
 * Mr. Leslie's aunt by her marriage with the i2th Earl of 
 Caithness, his mother's brother. 
 
 f In Banffshire, a property belonging to Lord Fife, and rented 
 by Major Dunbar, Mr. Leslie's brother-in-law. 
 
 | The Rev. William Leslie, of Balnageith, Mr. Leslie's 
 father.
 
 28 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 way, was the door of the house, which opened upon a flight of 
 narrow, steep stone steps, winding round one small pillar as 
 their centre, and leading, on the first landing, to two tolerable 
 sitting-rooms, and on the second, to several bedrooms. In 
 these homely and primitive apartments, notwithstanding their 
 lack of furniture, we might have been comfortable, had Leslie's 
 aching head permitted him to be so. But, alas ! he suffered 
 constantly and acutely, and the exertions of his sister Mary 
 met with no better success than those of Jessie. Occasionally 
 I went out to sketch. The scenery about Elgin is neither 
 bold nor romantic, but it is very pretty, and quite within the 
 compass of a somewhat untaught and unskilful pencil. In 
 the evening, too, I usually walked with the dear old minister. 
 He was very kind to me. He seemed to court these little 
 rambles, and urged me to talk, and this I did the rather 
 
 To win a part from off the weight 
 
 I saw increasing on his father's heart, 
 
 than from any desire to chatter ; for I was in low spirits, and 
 the poor old man was depressed about his son, and* thought 
 of the five blooming children he had survived. One evening 
 he was more cheerful, and mentioned his right to the title of 
 Lindores. He explained how he claimed kindred with the 
 Earls of Fife and Lord Byron ; and as we returned home 
 through the town, he made me cross the street to observe his 
 coat of arms, initials, and a very old date, chiselled and still 
 very fresh, on the stone turret of Isaac. Forsyth's library. He 
 also bade me take notice, ere I re-entered the house, of the 
 sun-dial in the garden, and told me how many centuries it 
 had been in his family ; and that there was one older 
 still he believed the second or third introduced into Scot- 
 land - at Balnageith. 
 
 On July 27 Archie took me and his sister Mary to 
 Black Hills. The laird had arrived there from Demerara a 
 few days before, and good, warm-hearted Nelly Cumming 
 deemed herself the happiest of human beings in thus being 
 again near her brother Her eyes seem to glisten with 
 gladness as they rested on his withered and sun-burnt cheeks ; 
 and beneath his raillery at her homely and aged appearance 
 I fancied some affectionate admiration might be detected.
 
 5> 
 i 
 
 I 
 
 r-
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 29 
 
 We stopped at Linkwood,* to say farewell on our road home. 
 Ellen begged me to stay for tea, and Peter Brown pressed 
 Archie to take a drop for " Auld lang syne." A little mis- 
 understanding had occurred from an ill-natured report circulated 
 about Archie's affairs very prejudicial to his character. This 
 Mr. Brown had listened to. too readily, and, without enquiry, 
 acted upon. On the morning of this day, he had been con- 
 vinced of his error, of the whole being a fabrication, and he 
 was desirous to evince his regret at his past want of 
 hospitality by being doubly warm on the present occasion. 
 We were willing to be reconciled, and this joy prevented our 
 reaching Elgin until some time past sunset, for which I 
 thought the minister's looks reproached us, as he carefully 
 handed us out of the carriage, saying to each : " Dinna be rash." 
 
 He asked no questions about the cause of our detention, 
 but laid his hand upon the book he had been reading. Ere 
 he raised it, however, he looked at me, and said : 
 
 " Ye'll no be for a walk, I guess, the nicht ? " 
 
 I told him I was quite ready, which pleased him, and 
 having locked up his book (one of his customs), he said he 
 would take me to St. Mary's Well. This is a spring of very 
 pure water, close to the Lossie, along the banks of which we 
 walked. The night was perfectly clear and the air warm 
 without being sultry, and the fields we crossed were far enough 
 removed from the town to be tranquil. 
 
 I told the worthy man what had detained us at Link- 
 wood, not by way of making peace, for that in his kind 
 breast had never been broken, but to give him the satisfaction 
 of knowing that an ill-natured story had been explained away 
 and its falsehood detected. 
 
 " It has always," he replied, " surpassed the powers of my 
 imagination to conceive the pleasure some idle, malicious 
 folk tak' in inventing wicked tales o' their neebors. Forbye 
 the ill-will they get from man for sic a deed, they draw upon 
 themselves the wrath of Almighty God. I canna recollect," 
 continued he, coming to a full stop in our walk, " ever having 
 told a lie in my life. At all events, if I have " he paused 
 
 * The house of a brother-in-law, Peter Brown, brother of 
 General Sir George Brown. He married Ellen, sister of Archi- 
 bald Leslie.
 
 30 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 again and was silent for some seconds, then placed the fore- 
 finger of the right hand upon the thumb of the left, " it canna 
 have been mair than ae wee ane, at the outside." 
 
 I looked at his benevolent countenance as he spoke, and 
 it expressed all the singleness of his heart ; and I felt that he 
 was an enviable being who at the age of seventy-seven could 
 with equal truth make such a declaration. 
 
 The following morning we left Elgin. Mary Leslie 
 accompanied us, and the minister had gone forward on his 
 way, but stopping to say a few words to everyone he met, we 
 soon overtook him, and we were the first to reach Forres. 
 This ancient place, immortalized by Shakespeare, interested 
 rne merely from its vicinity to Balnageith, where we all went 
 after taking lunch at the inn. Balnageith disappointed me, I 
 confess. My ideas of it had been formed from the repre- 
 sentations of Charlotte ; * and these were drawn from the 
 recollections of a happy childhood, which had coloured places 
 and events and persons with a brightness and beauty not their 
 own, which impressions, never having been disturbed by 
 subsequent association, remained gilded with sunshine in her 
 memory. Instead of the laige, comfortable farmhouse then, 
 I found a very moderate-sized, dilapidated dwelling, with two 
 sitting-rooms, one a kitchen on the ground floor, and two 
 sleeping-rooms accessible by a rude stair almost a ladder 
 on the upper storey, just suited to the needs and station of 
 Sandie Souter and his wife, Kate Robinson, the tenants. 
 There was a pig-sty at the back of the house and a large 
 pigeon-house by the side. The old sundial was before the 
 door, but almost concealed amidst the barley that was growing 
 round it. The belt of fir-wood I had heard Archie mention 
 with some degree of pride looked melancholy from the bare 
 and withered state of the trees and the want of variety in 
 the foliage. The once flourishing kitchen garden was over- 
 grown with weeds, the walks could scarcely be traced, and 
 the fruit-trees and shrubs were dead or barren. However, 
 I do believe the place has great capabilities ; the soil is good, 
 and there are many spots upon it commanding picturesque 
 views. A stream of clear water runs through it, and the 
 river Findhorn bounds it on one side, in which there is 
 
 * Her sister-in-law, married to Arthur Geddes.
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 31 
 
 excellent fishing. It is peculiarly well situated too in regard 
 to neighbourhood, there being at least six superior families 
 within three or four miles, independent of others residing 
 in Forres. 
 
 All this passed in my mind as the worthy minister led me 
 round Souter's territory, without making any remark, until we 
 came to the middle of a large field, situated between the barns, 
 stables, offices, &c. (which were really excellent), and the 
 river. 
 
 " Here," he said, " where I stand is the place where the 
 house should be biggit. And it is here you and Archibald 
 must big one when ye come to live here. But why should I 
 say this ? Ye'll never bide here " He turned round. 
 
 " And why not ? " I asked. 
 
 " Because ye have baith lived too long in the sunshine 
 and luxuries of the South, to relish this bleak, lonesome 
 countrie." 
 
 I was sorry to hear him say this, and to see him look 
 sad as he pondered over his declaration ; but I did not reply, 
 since I feared in assuring him his conviction was wrong, that 
 I should be ungracious in referring to a time when he would 
 be no more the Laird of Balnageith. 
 
 Between the bridge and Nairn, where we slept, tradition 
 shows the spot where the witches accosted Macbeth. 
 
 fitly 29. We left Nairn early in the morning, and on 
 arriving at Port George a signal was hoisted that soon induced 
 the ferry-boat to' put out for us from the opposite side. It was 
 but a few minutes crossing the Forth, and while the carriage was 
 being placed in it, the poor minister stood on the beach holding 
 the bridle of his pony. 
 
 " Ye'll no forget to write me soon ? " he said. 
 
 " Surely, sir," exclaimed Archie, " you are going over with 
 us ? " 
 
 " 'Deed, I am just ganging back again to the Manse." 
 
 " Well," persisted Archie, " this is one of the maddest pranks 
 I ever knew ; just to see us embark you have come all this way ; 
 and now to think of trotting back again when you are almost 
 within sight of Braelangwell ! I am certain Captain Sinclair 
 will be very much offended with you."
 
 32 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 " Weel, weel, I canna help that. I said 1 would be at 
 Balnageith the night, an' Miss Sinclair * gie me but ane shirt 
 wi' me in my pouch. An' sae, ye'll just present my respectful 
 compliments to Captain Sinclair and his leddy, an' say I maun 
 be hame for my Sunday duties. And maybe I'll male' oot a visit 
 to them some ither time." 
 
 "Ah!" said Archie, "you'll join us there next week?" 
 
 " Na, I did na say that. Is there onything," he said, 
 turning to me, " that I can send ye, forbye the hive o' honey 
 and Seeker's sermons ? " 
 
 I told him nothing. 
 
 " Weel, ye'll write often, if it be only a wordie, to say how 
 his head is. An' I'll no despair yet. He has gude pure bluid 
 in his body, and a naturally strong constitution. All may be 
 right yet, as he has youth on his side, gin he'll tak' the proper 
 precautions." 
 
 In my turn, I enquired if there was anything we could send 
 him with a cushion of brawn Archie had promised him, and I 
 named Bellamy's Bible. 
 
 " I am no verra anxious," he answered, " sin my mind has 
 been lang eneugh made up to the meaning of most passages 
 necessary to our salvation. But if ye like it, an' there be room 
 in the box, ye may sen' it, an' maybe I wad tak' a glint at what 
 your frien' has to say to the two Misses Lot and the foxes' 
 tails." 
 
 Archie here announced everything to be ready, and the 
 poor old gentleman holding my arm led me to the side of the 
 boat, and assisted me to get in, saying, "Dinna be rash," and 
 afterwards, " God be wi' ye." Archie and his sister quickly 
 followed his example, and a quarter of an hour carried us to 
 the Ross-shire side. The minister tarried full five minutes 
 steadfastly watching our progress, and then turned slowly, 
 mounted his pony and trotted home. 
 
 I have nothing agreeable to associate with Braelangwell 
 besides the kindness of our host and hostess, and having 
 experienced that elsewhere, under happier auspices, it was not 
 enough to make the place interesting to me when there, nor 
 dear to my memory when I am never likely to revisit it. The 
 
 * A relative of the minister's wife. She kept house for him.
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 33 
 
 laird of Culduthil and his brother, Captain Fraser, dined 
 there on August 2 ; and our plan of returning by the 
 Highland Road and Glasgow discussed. Culduthil strongly 
 urged us in preference to take the steamboat from Inver- 
 ness, by which means we should see the fine scenery 
 of the Western coast, and reach Glasgow with less 
 fatigue. Archie was pleased with the suggestion and agreed 
 to it. 
 
 Duncan Davidson, the laird of Tulloch, and his wife, 
 the second daughter of Lord Macdonald, arrived on the 
 4th. Her marriage was still so recent that she might 
 be considered a bride ; and he had not yet exchanged 
 the empressement of the lover for the more sober manner 
 of the husband. Mrs. Davidson's appearance strongly 
 resembled that of the Princess Charlotte. The King 
 was so struck with it at her presentation that, after 
 saluting her, he turned to one of the lords in waiting, 
 exclaiming, " How like poor Charlotte ! " She was 
 good-natured and lively, and not deficient in grace or 
 dignity. Moreover, she was young I think not twenty 
 and was exuberant with happiness and health. 
 
 On the following Saturday, the 6th, I feared I must have 
 wounded her susceptibilities as much as I shocked my own, 
 by a thoughtless remark which I made about some friends 
 of hers, as we sat working in the drawing-room. For a 
 moment I entirely forgot the connection between them, but 
 immediately afterwards wondered that I could have been 
 so oblivious of another's feelings Burning blushes suffused 
 my face, and I could well nigh have wept at the thought 
 of the pain I should cause if my unkind speech were 
 repeated. From that moment it was impossible for me to 
 take any reasonable part in the conversation, and when 
 directly addressed, I stammered and hesitated, powerless 
 to think of anything but the harm svhich I had perhaps 
 done. I must allow Mrs. Davidson behaved very kindly 
 by not appearing to notice my confusion and by pursuing 
 the subject to Mrs. Sinclair ; but I left the room almost 
 immediately for my own, and stayed there until dinner, 
 ruminating over the misery of idle words. Mrs. Sinclair most 
 
 D
 
 34 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 good naturedly tried to comfort me ere I went downstairs, by 
 assuring me of her conviction from Mrs. Davidson's subsequent 
 discourse that she had not noticed the remark to which I have 
 alluded, but I have discovered that this was unfortunately not 
 the case. 
 
 The next day we left Braelangwell, and slept for a few 
 hours at Inverness, preparatory to our starting the following 
 morning by the steamboat for Glasgow. 
 
 August 8. We arose very early, bade adieu to Mary 
 Leslie, and were on board the Comet steam vessel at four 
 o'clock. The scene was very animated : there was another 
 vessel to start at the same time, and this occasioned a great 
 deal of contention. There were only three ladies besides 
 myself on board the Comet ; these were dressed in deep 
 mourning, and appeared under some heavy affliction, so 
 that they did not speak to the other passengers. There 
 might have been about thirty men (some of them gentlemen), 
 and a great many poor Highland women going for the 
 harvest to Glasgow. I did not discover the names of all 
 my fellow sailors, but there are a few I remember, who 
 interested and amused me extremely. Two brothers named 
 Becket were well informed, well-mannered men ; and were 
 very polite and attentive to me, which I considered the 
 more from Archie being oftentimes too ill to raise his head 
 from a sofa or whatever he could find to recline upon. 
 There was a young man from Oxford, a walking gentle- 
 man, who had been trudging through Scotland, and 
 seemed full of enthusiasm at its romantic beauties. Then 
 there was a most uncouth looking creature, tall, stout and 
 ill-made. His features were peculiarly vulgar in their 
 cast, and his dress was an attempt at fashion and 
 military cut. which, with a look and strut, aping the great 
 man, made him a very conspicuous object. His coarse 
 hands were decked out with rings, and a ponderous watch 
 chain swinging backwards and forwards caused a variety of 
 seals to jingle, and occasionally turned up one on which was 
 a huge coronet This, of course, produced some speculation 
 as to who he was, and our curiosity was still more raised 
 by his dog, a rough, wretched looking little animal, round
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 35 
 
 whose neck was a collar with a Gaelic inscription : " Behave 
 well, for you are a great man's dog." This strange being had 
 christened himself FitzStrathern, and wished to pass himself 
 off as a scion of royalty in the relationship of one of the 
 illegitimate progeny of the Duke of Clarence. We sub- 
 sequently discovered from an Orkney laird that he was the 
 son of Mr. Petrie, the jailor at Kirkwall. A round, smooth- 
 faced, self-satisfied cockney in white corduroy breeches and 
 well polished top-boots tormented every one with questions, 
 until he could no longer obtain an answer, and it was 
 a relief to our ears and sentimental sensations, which had been 
 continually shocked by his vulgar ignorance or astonishment. 
 The weather was peculiarly fine. The scenery on either 
 side of Loch Ness, though slightly varied, is always grand 
 and rich. The ruins of Urquhart Castle (of which I made a 
 slight sketch) are extensive, and prove the building once to 
 have been of considerable strength. At Fort Augustus the 
 vessel had to pass through several locks, and this detained 
 us nearly two hours. The houses belonging to the fort are 
 neat, but the place itself is poor and dirty, and wears an 
 aspect of desolation that is very depressing. There was little 
 to interest us during the afternoon. We passed Invergarry 
 with its ruined castle, and the unpretending dwelling of the 
 chieftain of Glengarry by its side, of which I made a drawing. 
 The hills in the background were fine, and one called Ben 
 Shee is the fairy land of the North. The poor Highland 
 women at the request of Mr. Becket sang several of their 
 wild, native airs. He begged me to come close to them, 
 which pleased them ; and one, who spoke a little English, 
 explained the subject of the Gaelic verses. Of course it was 
 love and " true love 'that never runs smooth." One woman 
 began and sang the air; and then all joined in a sort of chorus 
 at the end of each verse, of which there were more than 
 we liked, since there was much monotony in the melody. 
 We reached the inn at the foot of Ben Nevis by eight 
 o'clock, where we had bespoken a bed ; and it was fortunate 
 we had done so, since Archie's aching head needed rest, 
 and there was scanty accommodation of any kind for the 
 numerous and noisy applicants, who seemed to act on the 
 principle that " might makes right." Such passengers as
 
 36 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 could not get either a sofa or a bed were resolved not to 
 lose a supper ; and the calls upon the poor landlady were 
 unmerciful. She was a nice, cleanly, active young woman, 
 and I witnessed her exertion and good-humoured efforts to 
 please, as I had frequent occasion to walk into the kitchen 
 for hot water and things for my poor, dear, suffering husband, 
 which I found I might have rung for in vain. 
 
 Tuesday, Q. We rose at three, as we had a mile to walk 
 to the vessel, which during the night had been passed through 
 the grand chain of locks called Neptune's staircase. The air 
 was chilly, and the dew heavy on the grass ; and we were 
 glad to get on board the vessel. All the passengers were soon 
 assembled, and we left Fort William at half-past four. The 
 clouds were then thickly canopied over the head of Ben Nevis, 
 and mists clung to the sides of the hills. But soon they 
 changed their hue of grey they became warmer and more 
 glowing, and the firmament itself seemed to open as the 
 sun rose over the Mont Blanc of Caledonia. Then, as every 
 object became illuminated, how interesting the scenery ap- 
 peared ! We were gradually nearing the great Atlantic, and 
 the channel every moment became broader. The Sound of 
 Lismore has classic stories. The Pass of Glencoe, the seat of 
 Lochiel, the country of Morven, are names associated with 
 Scottish history and song, never to be forgotten. I made a 
 sketch off Appin, where some small islands gave a beautiful 
 variety to the colouring of the water. We reached Oban at 
 twelve, and had been previously persuaded by the two Mr. 
 Beckets to quit the vessel there, and get into another pro- 
 ceeding to the Western Islands. The exchange was soon 
 made, and we went on in the Highland Chieftain. Lord 
 Strathallan was on board. His had been one of the attainted 
 titles. He was a magnificent old man, and we landed him 
 somewhere on the Sound of Mull. The day was unsettled ; 
 heavy storms made us uncomfortable, but when they were 
 occasionally tinged by the sun they formed beautiful rainbows, 
 and relieved the cold appearance of the barren rocks. The 
 evening became serene, and we arrived at Tobermory, in 
 Mull, at six. Here there was some difficulty in procuring 
 beds. The inn was too small to accommodate all the 
 passengers, so many were indebted to private individuals for
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 37 
 
 a night's lodging. We were beholden to a Mr. Culbertson, 
 whose hospitality I shall never forget. We had tea, and then 
 proceeded to a ramble. Nothing could be finer, the air 
 was so soft and pure. We ascended a hill, and when we looked 
 down upon the little bay tinged with the amber of the de- 
 clining sun, and studded with fishing-boats gently rocked on 
 its bosom, and when we turned to the inland scenery, the 
 bright green turf and the lordly cottages, all seemed to 
 bespeak it an abode of peace. We retired to our little bedroom 
 with mixed feelings of thankfulness and hope. 
 
 Wednesday, 10. "Who could guess" our feelings of dis- 
 appointment, " since upon nights so sweet, such awful morn 
 could rise " ? 
 
 The pipers aroused us at four o'clock, when the rain 
 poured down and the clouds looked unrelenting. We dressed, 
 however, and Mr. Culbertson prognosticated fair weather. 
 We went to the vessel trying to be cheerful. But, indeed, 
 there is nothing much more depressing than a thorough bad 
 day for an excursion of pleasure. As soon as we had left 
 the bay, and became exposed to the full force of the Atlantic, 
 we were sensible of the raging of the storm. The vessel was 
 fearfully tossed, the captain was unskilled and alarmed, and 
 the crew insubordinate or intoxicated. Off Ardnamurchan 
 my heart was filled with gloomy forebodings and unavailing 
 regrets. The misery of our situation was not to be compared 
 to the horrid possibility of never again beholding my darling 
 little girl. However, on we went ; the wind became more 
 favourable, and we were driven under shelter of Staffa at one. 
 Oh, how thankful I felt ! We got into a small boat, which 
 rowed directly into the cave and landed us on the rocky 
 pillars. I need not describe the peculiar formation of this 
 island. I can only say its general impression was disappoint- 
 ment ; but I think it would have been better seen on a 
 calmer day, when the greatness of the deep did not sink 
 every other object into littleness. We rested there an hour ; 
 the sun came out, we rejoined the vessel (which had been 
 injured by running on a rock), and with the wind directly 
 aft reached lona in a short time. Nothing can be more 
 miserable than its appearance no trees, barren rocks, wretched 
 hovels and naked children ruins, venerable for their antiquity,
 
 38 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 but without any picturesque effect, demanding our interets 
 but exciting little. I was directed to a miserable house called 
 par excellence " The Inn," and we determined to remain in 
 it rather than venture back in our crazy vessel to Tobermory. 
 Several other passengers coincided with us, and fearing a lack 
 of provisions, got bread, meat and tea from the boat. A young 
 Highlander came in with his gun. His countenance was open 
 and his manner frank. He begged me to return with him 
 to his father's in Mull, where he promised us every comfort ; 
 but the little walk he encouraged us to take was not less 
 than seven miles, and we were too weary to attempt it. In 
 the evening we had some conversation with Maclean, the 
 English schoolmaster, a simple, kind-hearted, pious man. He 
 gave us up his bedroom, arranged it as neatly as he could, 
 and lighted a fire. The Messrs. Becket tried to induce us to 
 accompany them in an open boat to Port Erscoig, which 
 the fishermen promised them to reach by ten o'clock. But, 
 though the evening was clear and serene, and we had actually 
 put our box on board, we drew back, thinking it better to submit 
 to the evils we knew than to risk others that might be worse. 
 So we went to bed, but not to sleep. An army of fleas 
 roused me effectually, and drove me first to the fire and then 
 to the window, where with feelings of much discomfort and 
 solicitude I watched the coming dawn. 
 
 Thursday, n. The sun shone brightly, and the cloudless 
 sky gave promise of a fine day. We rambled among the 
 ruins, after a frugal breakfast, and then went to some of the 
 neighbouring heights, hoping to descry a vessel. Dr. Macleod 
 accompanied us, and at nine we saw the smoke of a steam 
 vessel apparently off Staffa, which proved to be one called the 
 Highlander. Archie gave Mrs. Maclean five shillings, which 
 she regarded as great riches, and I gave the good school- 
 master a copy of Bishop Wilson's Sacra Privata which I had 
 brought with me, and which he had looked at and admired 
 during my walk. At two we left lona ; the sea was perfectly 
 smooth, and the view of the ocean, dotted with rocks and 
 islands, very interesting. We reached Tobermory in the even- 
 ing, and were received as old friends by Mr. and Mrs. Cul- 
 bertson. They gave us their best bedroom, excellent tea, 
 bread and preserves ; and when I retired to undress, our
 
 EARL Y MARRIED LIFE. 39 
 
 kind hostess insisted on bathing my feet herself and doing 
 everything that could conduce to my comfort. There was 
 a charm in this hospitality I shall never forget. But I do 
 not believe it singular in Scotland. 
 
 Friday, 12. It rained heavily and blew a brisk gale; and 
 again we suffered much discomfort. The vessel stopped at 
 Oban, at one. I jumped out and ran to the inn and secured 
 the best bedroom I could find, for Archie was ill, and we 
 had resolved to stay there all night. Most of the passengers 
 determined to do the same. Dr. Macleod returned to Inver- 
 ness, and the sitting-room was shared with us by a Miss 
 Gleghorn, from Glasgow, and a party of young people who 
 were travelling about for their amusement. This Miss Gleghorn 
 was an admirable specimen of a notable, cheerful old maid. 
 When first she came in, from sea-sickness she seemed very 
 miserable, and begged for our bedroom that she might sit 
 in it. However, she found it would make but a sorry draw- 
 ing-room, so Archie and I were left in peaceable possession and 
 went to lie down. When we got up we found the worthy 
 spinster restored to health and cheerfulness, and her needle 
 and thread scarcely keeping pace with her tongue. We all 
 dined together ; and a poor traveller who had taken a seat 
 in a distant corner was glad to be bidden to our table. 
 
 Saturday, ij. After a wretched night, disturbed by the 
 wind and rain beating against our window, we rose not a little 
 discomfited with the appearance of things. But after break- 
 fast, being told there was little chance of improvement in the 
 weather, we determined to proceed across the country in an 
 open cart, the only conveyance to be had. I must say this 
 vehicle was not in idea very congenial to me; but when it 
 was filled with clean hay, and our boxes were disposed 
 for seats, and I was well wrapped up in shawls and cloaks, 
 although it continued to rain, it was less disagreeable than 
 I could have imagined. Our pony trotted briskly along, 
 and our driver, a fine, tall young Highlander, either ran by 
 the side or sat on the shaft. Occasionally we got put to 
 rest ourselves by walking, for from the want of springs the 
 motion was very uneasy. 
 
 The scenery in the neighbourhood of Loch Awe is very
 
 40 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 fine, and if favoured by fine weather, would have compensated us 
 for all our inconvenience. There was an ample proportion of 
 wood, and the hills looked warmer and richer than on the east 
 coast. The ride had enlivened me, and we found ourselves at the 
 Inn at Taynult sooner than I had expected. This was a solitary 
 house ; a rapid burn much swollen by the rain ran close to the 
 door, and steep hills rose around it. The driver went into the 
 house to get a chair for me to dismount. I saw the pony looking 
 round, and started to catch the reins ; but the next moment felt 
 myself being lifted up out of the road, and beheld Archie stand- 
 ing near me with the blood trickling from his forehead. We 
 were neither of us hurt materially by this fall, and I believe less 
 frightened than the good innkeeper and one of his lodgers who 
 witnessed the upset. One of the gentlemen staying in the house 
 was a surgeon, and he strongly urged our lying down for some 
 time, and trying to get rest, which we did in a miserable room. 
 
 We rose, however, refreshed with our sleep, and then, at the 
 request of Mr. Gordon, went to his apartment. This gentleman 
 had believed I was killed, and was dreadfully alarmed at witness- 
 ing my fall. He seemed scarcely able to express his joy at my 
 escape, nor to know how to make me comfortable enough. The 
 rain still came down in torrents, and his young friend, a Mr. 
 Peters, was late in returning from his fishing in the loch. But at 
 last he appeared, with a very fine salmon and some smaller fish. 
 We agreed to dine together ; and a pretty, smart-looking girl put 
 an excellent dinner on the table, but I was not hungry enough to 
 do justice to it. Not so the gentlemen, who praised and partook 
 of everything, and talked cheerfully until late, over port wine and 
 whisky-punch. At ten, Mr. Gordon and Mr. Peters retired, and 
 we took possession of the bed in the corner of their room. Much 
 as I valued this kindness, I could not do justice to it, for sleep 
 seemed far from my eyelids, and the roar of the burn (now a per- 
 fect torrent) sounded hoarsely and gloomily on my ears. 
 
 Sunday, 14.. Again the weather was lowering, and prevented 
 an excursion to Bonawe and the Lorn smelting furnace, a most 
 romantic spot, having the river Awe on one side, Loch Etive in 
 front, and behind the magestic Ben Cruachan. Our companions 
 were discouraged, and agreed to go on with us to Inverary. 
 They hired another cart, and we all set out together, choosing 
 the road by Port Sonachan as being ten miles shorter than
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 41 
 
 that by Dalmally. The ascents in this wild region were 
 sometimes very steep, and one, by the side of a tremendous 
 mountain torrent, that tumbled with fearful impetuosity through 
 a ravine, overhung with a beautiful variety of foliage, had so 
 unsafe an aspect that I got out to walk. However, Mr. Gordon 
 reassured me after a time, and I proceeded with him in his cart. 
 He talked much and feelingly of Prince. Charlie, and repeated 
 with enthusiasm Lord Byron's well-known lines : 
 
 Away ye gay landscapes, &c. 
 
 At length we passed the manor of Kilchrenan, and soon after 
 stopped at a poor house close to the loch. The waters of the 
 lake were much troubled, and as the men refused to put out the 
 long boat for us, we had nearly resolved to stay where we were. 
 We went into the house to warm ourselves. It was tolerably 
 cleanly; but the family were in great distress, especially one 
 poor young woman, who cried bitterly. Her brother had been 
 detected smuggling, and on being seized by the gaugers had 
 made so fierce a resistance that she feared he would be visited 
 with the extremest punishment that the law could inflict. It was 
 vain to try and console her. The little boat was ready and I still 
 hesitated, hut kind-hearted Mr. Peters told me he could and 
 would row, and would engage to carry us over safely. So then I 
 stepped in with him, Archie and Mr. Gordon, the surgeon we 
 had seen the previous day, and a companion of his. The wind 
 blew a hurricane, the waves were high and dashed into the boat. 
 There were no proper grooves for the oars, which consequently 
 slipped every moment ; but Mr. Peter's strength seemed 
 sufficient to pull our crazy bark in whatever direction he pleased, 
 and, after being buffeted and wet through, he landed us safely at 
 Port Sonachan. How wrong it is to be prejudiced by appear- 
 ance ! This young man was an ungainly-looking person, tall and 
 stout, but ill put together, with rather large and coarse features, 
 merely expressive of quiet good-humour. But of what service he 
 was to us who had no claim upon him ! Mr. Gordon had been 
 well-looking, and his manner was more polished ; but he was 
 extremely timid, and therefore less useful He soon made 
 an excellent peat fire at the little inn, where the pretty young 
 wife promised to cook us something. She soon put some eggs 
 and bacon before us, excellent butter, and oat-cakes, and whiskey
 
 42 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 and water, which for the first time I liked, feeling the benefit of 
 its warm and social qualities after our late exposure to the 
 inclement elements. 
 
 We had scarcely finished our meal ere we saw " the muckle 
 boat " crossing the ferry with two gentlemen, a gig and a fine grey 
 horse. Mr. Peters went down to reconnoitre, and, after a short 
 absence, returned with a face glowing with joy. 
 
 "That's just my old school-fellow Burns," he said to 
 Mr. Gordon. " We have na met since we were sixteen and 
 now," he continued, turning to me, " I have been taking the 
 liberty to speak to him about you, and ye'll just gang on in 
 comfort wi' him, and I'll answer for his carrying ye safely ; 
 and his friend walks with us ; and so that's all settled 
 comfortably." 
 
 In vain I remonstrated at the inconvenience to be caused to 
 Mr. Macdonell, and the probability of Mr. Burns not liking the 
 exchange of companions. Mr. Peters would listen to no 
 objection of mine, and ran for the gentlemen to confirm the 
 arrangement. They did it with so much cordiality that I 
 submitted like the good wife who 
 
 Never once saith nay, when he saith yea ; 
 
 "Do this" saith he; "All ready, sir," saith she. 
 
 And being " all ready " as well as Mr. Burns and the gig, into it 
 I jumped, assisted by worthy Mr. Peters, patting my shoulder 
 with a truly paternal air, and whispering into my ear : " Do not 
 be afraid ; he was a good fellow when he was at school, and he'll 
 guide ye surely enough to Inverary, and long before us." 
 
 There was something very droll in this adventure, and as 
 I turned my head to nod farewell to Archie, it overawed me. 
 I was going to cross a wild country with a perfect stranger, 
 introduced to me but a few minutes before by the casual 
 acquaintance of a day, who had recognized each other after 
 a separation of twelve or fourteen years. However, the com- 
 parative, or I may say positive, comfort of my situation reconciled 
 me fully to it. There is something indescribably exhilarating to 
 the spirits in passing rapidly through the open air. I experienced 
 this, in spite of the atmosphere being rather heavy, and of an 
 occasional drizzling rain. The horse was the finest and most 
 docile animal I ever beheld ; Mr. Burns had but to hold the
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE, 43 
 
 reins and leave him to his own discretion ; and the road being 
 good, we went at a swift pace. 
 
 The country was very barren ; but any spots of interest 
 Mr. Burns pointed out, especially one very nervous and narrow 
 point on the edge of a steep bank, overhanging some river 
 or small lake, where Colonel Macdonell (I think he said) had 
 been killed, returning one dark night from Inverary. I was 
 glad when we had passed it. We then emerged on a broad 
 heath, and my companion pulled up near a small lone house 
 within a few yards of the road. He whistled, and a white- 
 headed boy coming out, he desired him to stand by the horse for 
 a few minutes. He was away a quarter of an hour, and when he 
 reseated himself, he said he had been calling on his old nurse, 
 whose son had been taken up for smuggling ; and he was on his 
 way to Ayrshire to beg his release, or some commutation of his 
 punishment. We had a great deal of chat. I found Mr. Burns 
 had been originally in the navy, but was now married and 
 settled at Bonawe ; he claimed some kindred with his namesake 
 the poet, and spoke disparagingly of the Highlanders, especially 
 of Glengarry. At last we arrived at the Duke of Argyle's 
 enclosures. We stopped at an English-looking cottage, and 
 some children ran out. My companion spoke familiarly to them 
 in Gaelic, and the gate was opened. Oh, what beautiful fields 
 and rich trees ! And then such a torrent of water, pouring its 
 way over masses of rock, foaming and dashing through a channel 
 that seemed too narrow to contain its angry waves ! A ride of 
 five or seven miles through this enchanting scenery, constantly 
 varying, but always beautiful, brought us to the Inn at Inverary. 
 It was large, and the landlord came to the door to receive us. 
 All looked like comfort and civilization. I felt nearer home, and 
 breathed more freely. 
 
 I was shown into a nice parlour by Mr. Mackellar, and 
 I told him we should sleep there, and that I should like to 
 see a bedroom. Upon this, mine host looked rather waggishly 
 at us both, and made no answer but by seating himself. Mr. 
 Burns explained instantly : 
 
 " This lady's husband and some of his friends will be 
 here directly." Thus all was correct again, and Mr. 
 Mackellar only seemed desirous to make me eat and drink, 
 which I had neither appetite nor complaisance enough to
 
 44 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 do. However, I ordered dinner, and Archie and Co. 
 arrived before seven o'clock. Mr. Gordon was all impatience 
 to cross Loch Fyne ere dark, that he might reach Glenfinnart 
 that night ; and he would not leave Mr. Peters behind ; so 
 after a parting cup of ' mountain dew" they set off. Mr. 
 Burns and Mr. Macdonell partook of our dinner, and bade 
 us adieu at ten o'clock to proceed on their benevolent mission 
 into Ayrshire. 
 
 Monday, 13. We awoke to a fine day, and after break- 
 fast went to see Inverary Castle. It is a modern building 
 and rather disappointed me, as I had expected something 
 more antique and magnificent. It is, however, one of the 
 most comfortable houses I ever was in. There is everything 
 for use, little for show. The drawing-room furniture is 
 elegant white satin, beautifully embroidered with figures, 
 flowers and landscapes. This is French work. 
 
 On our return to the inn we found the Glasgow " Neddy " 
 we had bespoken ready for us, and we set off along the 
 banks of Loch Fyne. It was a pretty ride, but the heat was 
 oppressive, and our poor Rozinante with difficulty pro- 
 ceeded at a slow pace, which tried our patience sadly and 
 excited in us some fears about his reaching Cairndon. 
 However, there we arrived at last, indefatigable Miss 
 Cleghorn and her party jogging up in their carts at the same 
 time. We immediately bespoke a cart of a much better 
 description than our former vehicle, and after an excellent 
 dinner got into it. We were to go through the barren pass 
 of Glencoe, and for the first six mile, it was one continued 
 ascent. On the summit is the old stone mentioned by Dr. 
 Johnson, upon which is written : " Rest and be thankful" 
 Our ride thence was downhill for nearly seven miles. 
 Nothing could be more wild ; huge hills on either side, with 
 little appearance of verdure nay, sometimes so wholly 
 destitute of it that nothing but masses of black rock appeared. 
 We stopped at a cottage called Cobbler's Hall to get some 
 water for the horse, and Archie gave the wife a loaf of 
 white bread, which seemed an inestimable treasure to her. 
 Soon after this we reached Loch Long, and stopped at the 
 "Sun" at Arrochar. The shades of evening were coming on
 
 
 
 a
 
 EARLY MARRIED LIFE. 
 
 45 
 
 fast, and we resolved to rest there, and send off a note to 
 our kind friends at Blairvadoch, and order a chair from 
 Helensburgh for the next morning. Thus were we again 
 disappointed of reaching the desired haven. As soon as 
 the bedroom was ready Archie retired to it, while, by his 
 advice, I sat down at the window and sketched the magnificent 
 scene before me. Loch Long like silver, with a few boats 
 upon it, and the lofty peaks of the Cobbler, black and 
 clearly defined against the blue sky in the background. It 
 was a lovely summer evening, but I was weary and spiritless 
 and anxious for the following day. 
 
 Tuesday, 16. We rose early. The sun still shone upon 
 us. When I entered the sitting-room I found a gentleman 
 and lady who proved to be Maclean of Col and his new 
 wife. She did not look very genteel, being much decked 
 out with Birmingham finery, but both entered agreeably into 
 conversation with me. We waited some time after breakfast, 
 but no chaise arriving, we again had recourse to a cart, in 
 which we had proceeded about two miles when the desired 
 carriage appeared. 
 
 We made the exchange and went on more briskly. The 
 views were very fine, but not more striking than many we 
 had seen, and I began to think the drive a weary length 
 when we saw a young man, tall, slight and gentlemanly, 
 walking towards us. This was so novel a sight that I 
 exclaimed : " Oh what a smart gentleman ! " when my 
 much-esteemed friend William Tritton opened the door of 
 the chaise. I could scarcely express my surprise and joy. 
 I got out directly, and many other figures came running 
 down the hill all friends, all kind, all dear to me Louisa 
 Tritton, Mr. Buchanan, Andrew,* Helen and Jane, Charlotte 
 and Mathilda, whom I then first saw ; the beautiful Miss 
 Gumming of Logic, Mrs. Denistoun, Mr. Price, etc. I was 
 dragged up the hill between them, where they had been 
 taking their luncheon on the heath. It was a sweet spot 
 at the head of the Gairloch, and they had chosen it that 
 they might see our approach and rush down upon us. I 
 could not eat, but I took a glass of wine, and then got 
 
 * He was later on Sir Andrew Buchanan.
 
 46 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 into Mr. Buchanan's carriage. Kind Lady Janet and my 
 dear friend Mrs. Tritton received us at the door at Blairvadoch. 
 Seeing the latter made me think of home, and my heart was 
 so full I could not speak. Tears were a great relief to me. 
 I was immediately taken to a snug little bedroom in the 
 turret, where I read my letters, which gave me good tidings 
 of my child. Then I lay down until the evening. I felt 
 all at once relieved from fatigue and anxiety, and the necessity 
 of exertion, for everyone waited upon me and vied with each 
 other in attention.
 
 47 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 JOYS AND SORROWS. 
 
 THERE were naturally various episodes in the 
 Leslies' memorable visit to Scotland in 1825 
 which did not find a place in the Journal. In 
 the hurry of writing down the chief events of 
 the day, pretty little touches were sometimes 
 forgotten or left out for want of time, but 
 were remembered afterwards with the pleasure 
 akin to that with which we light upon an old 
 song or some faint old-world perfume. 
 
 One such incident, which Mrs. Leslie some- 
 times spoke of in after years, is so characteristic 
 of the generous impulses of the people in 
 out-of-the-way parts of Scotland, unspoilt by 
 the inroads of travellers, as to be worth men- 
 tioning. They were one day on a steamboat, 
 nearing a desolate-looking island, and Mrs. 
 Leslie, anxious about securing some degree 
 of comfort for her husband, who was more ill 
 than usual that day, asked the captain where 
 they could get accommodation. He pointed 
 to a small white cottage not far from the 
 shore, but said there would be a rush for it. 
 When they reached it, they saw that they had
 
 48 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 not been misinformed as to the demands upon 
 its slender resources. The entrance passage 
 was crowded with luggage, and Mrs. Leslie, 
 speaking to the woman of the house, entreated 
 that they might at least have one room, seeing 
 that her husband was so ill. The woman 
 promised to do what she could with the people 
 who had just arrived, as she had not a single 
 room to dispose of, and went away to negotiate. 
 A few minutes later she was seen turning all 
 their boxes and bags out of the house in 
 a fury, and upon being questioned, said that 
 as their owners refused to give up one room 
 to a sick gentleman, she would not have such 
 people in her house. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie used to tell of this same voyage 
 a very characteristic anecdote of her husband. 
 In the saloon of the steamer a small boy 
 kept up a continual howl. The passengers' 
 patience was completely exhausted, and to 
 Mr. Leslie, suffering intensely as he was, it 
 was extremely trying. Alternately, the boy's 
 mother and aunt implored him in a helpless 
 way, saying "Johnnie, do be a good boy." 
 Johnnie's howl was suspended for a moment, 
 and after saying sturdily " I wont ! " he began 
 to bellow louder than before. At last Mr. 
 Leslie got up from his sofa, and went over to 
 Johnnie and said to him firmly, "Johnnie, you 
 shan't be a good boy." " I will ! " was the
 
 JOYS AND SORROWS. 49 
 
 resolute reply, and peace was secured for the 
 rest of the voyage. 
 
 The visit to Scotland, which Mrs. Leslie 
 describes in her Journal, ended at Blairvadoch 
 on the Gairloch, a place belonging to Mr. and 
 Lady Janet Buchanan, Mr. Leslie's first cousin. 
 Their stay under this hospitable roof was, as 
 we have seen, a happy conclusion to a journey, 
 interesting in many ways, but full of anxiety 
 to the one, and of suffering more or less 
 continual to the other. 
 
 On their return to London, affairs for a time 
 looked brighter, and consequently Mr. Leslie's 
 health improved. There is little to chronicle 
 till the spring of the following year, when 
 a letter written shortly before the birth of 
 their second child, and too beautiful in its 
 tender solicitude to be omitted here, gives 
 a closer insight than we have yet obtained into 
 the deep and earnest piety of Mrs. Leslie's 
 character. The letter is dated June 4, 1826. 
 Reverently one scans the pages, slightly 
 yellowed by age, on which the young wife's 
 hand traced unfalteringly words of solemn and 
 sacred import, while she herself stood on the 
 borders of two worlds, prepared equally to die 
 or to live. 
 
 MY DEAREST ARCHIE, I have often wished to write to you 
 lately on some subjects very near to my heart, and which my 
 own weakness has prevented my speaking upon with that 
 
 E
 
 50 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 composure that ought to attend their mention. I know I must 
 now ere long be laid in my bed ; when I shall rise from it 
 God alone knows. Perhaps never. But supposing my death is 
 not to be so immediate, we are certain that it is not far distant to 
 any one of us, and therefore it behoves us to work while it is 
 called to-day, lest the darkness of night overtake us and our 
 duties remain unfulfilled. Dearest Archie, amidst some trials, I 
 have been permitted to pass many happy days with you. You 
 have ever been affectionate and kind to me, and whether 
 suffering yourself, or seeing me suffer, your patience and good 
 temper have remained unruffled. God is the witness of my 
 gratitude to Him and you for this blessing, which I am certain 
 falls to the lot of very few, and least of all should have fallen to 
 me who am so unworthy of it. Indeed, it has been my greatest 
 happiness since our marriage, and this acknowledgement of 
 it may perhaps be a happiness to you when I am gone. In 
 leaving you I have but one anxiety. Your qualities of heart 
 and temper are so good that I think they would always dispose 
 you to do right; but we need a surer, stronger guide than 
 inclination to lead us to that righteousness that shall lead us to 
 heaven. Yes, dear Archie, for this world and for the next, there 
 is but one thing needful. Religion, and the religion of Jesus 
 Christ only, can direct us, support us, comfort us and preserve us. 
 It alone can give us that peace here which the world cannot 
 take away. It alone can procure us that felicity hereafter which 
 the world cannot intermeddle with. Oh, remember this, dearest 
 Archie, probe its truth, act up to its precepts, and so will you 
 be happy here and hereafter. And should you be left to guide, 
 to educate our darling child without me, oh, train her up in the 
 paths of holiness, and strive to instil into her young heart such 
 firm principles of religion, that they may defend her in 
 temptation, and preserve her from evil. 
 
 Never suffer the slightest dereliction from the path of duty to 
 pass as a mistake, or a trifling error. Having seen the misery 
 of this, I am the more earnest it should be avoided. Besides, 
 we are not justified in making use of such palliation by Him who 
 has expressly said He will bring every work into judgment with 
 every secret thing, whether it be good or whether it be evil. 
 Teach her to love, to reverence, to habitually remember her 
 Creator, and then He will never forsake her. Thus far, dearest
 
 JOYS AND SORROWS. 51 
 
 Archie, I am anxious about my child's education, and most 
 anxious that you should feel and act towards her and yourself 
 upon the principles I have endeavoured to urge. Such talents as 
 Providence may have bestowed upon her it might be well to 
 cultivate if you can afford it. But I am not ambitious for her to 
 be taught many unnecessary things, as many accomplishments 
 lead to vanity, and vanity alienates the heart from all that 
 is good and useful. 
 
 Now, God Almighty bless you, my dear husband, and 
 my darling child. That you may be happy here, and that 
 we may all be united after this life in the unspeakable joys 
 of heaven is the fervent prayer of your most affectionate 
 wife, ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 All went well, and on June 17 Mrs. Leslie 
 gave birth to a son. 
 
 For some years after this event there is little 
 to record save the successive births of two 
 daughters, one in 1831, the other in 1833, and 
 the family circle, now complete, lived in com- 
 parative happiness and prosperity, not, however, 
 without occasional indications of troubles in 
 store for the future. In 1830 they had removed 
 from London to Wandsworth, where they 
 inhabited a house not far from Mrs. Leslie's 
 old home, and subsequently spent several 
 months under her father's roof. They then 
 went to Scotland, thinking to take up their 
 abode there permanently, and after a summer 
 spent at the Manse with the worthy minister, 
 proceeded to Bervie, near Forres, the house 
 of Mr. Leslie's sister, where they frequently 
 saw the Gordon-Cummings. There were
 
 52 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 serious plans for repairing the old house at 
 Balnageith for their accommodation, but Sir 
 William Cumming dissuaded them from such 
 a step, and in the midst of their difficulties 
 about fixing on a suitable home, Mr. Leslie, 
 tired of an idle life, began to turn his thoughts 
 again to business. He rapidly conceived a 
 plan for carrying it on without risk, and even 
 with the hope of considerable advantage ; the 
 preliminaries were rapidly sketched, and he 
 returned with his family to Wandsworth, 
 settling them in the modest but pleasant old 
 Jacobean house on East Hill, of which Mrs. 
 Leslie always retained happy memories. In 
 the wandering life which she led for many 
 years afterwards, this was perhaps the nearest 
 approach to settled and undisturbed domestic 
 happiness that it was her lot to experience, and 
 here, in spite of ever present cares and 
 anxieties, she was able to enjoy the society 
 of her beloved parents, and that of the many 
 friends of her youth. Absolutely devoted to 
 her husband, and keenly appreciative of his 
 many noble and winning qualities, she was 
 unable to share his sanguine hopes or to 
 believe in the rosy prospects which his lively 
 imagination always held out before him. But 
 when scheme after scheme resulted in dis- 
 appointment and the buoyant sunny nature 
 was crushed and prostrate beneath the blow
 
 JOYS AND SORROWS. 53 
 
 which she had foreseen from the beginning, 
 she was ever ready to support, comfort and 
 encourage. 
 
 Thus when, in 1834, full of enthusiasm for 
 some new projects, Mr. Leslie went to Scotland 
 to raise money on Balnageith in order to 
 obtain the necessary resources, his wife, a much 
 better man of business than himself, was con- 
 vinced that the measure was highly unsatis- 
 factory, and that the end must be ruin. 
 
 Fortunately, however, even the clearest- 
 sighted people do not constantly see the end 
 before them ; for even to them also come 
 moments in their course, when the green hill 
 immediately in front of them shuts out the arid 
 mountain path beyond. Such moments indeed 
 could not have been rare. Happy in each 
 other, and in their children, who were growing 
 up to be all that the most exacting of parents' 
 hearts could desire, there was at least always 
 a green hill in sight, on which their eyes could 
 rest with pleasure. 
 
 One of the most constant visitors at their 
 house was Colonel, later Sir Ord, Honyman, 
 of the Grenadier Guards, the very soul of 
 honour and chivalry. He would come at any 
 time uninvited, to breakfast or dinner; everyone 
 in the house, including the servants, delighted 
 to welcome him. An extremely affectionate 
 father, he would hurry off to Mrs. Leslie when
 
 54 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 anything of interest or importance befell any 
 of his children, sure of her cordial sympathy. 
 
 One Sunday morning before breakfast, he 
 was discovered making for the house with an 
 open letter in his hand. As Mrs. Leslie had 
 not yet left her room, he sent it to her by her 
 little son, with a request that she would read 
 it at once. It was a note from Sir Fitzroy 
 Kelly, with whom his son George was a pupil, 
 expressing his entire satisfaction with the 
 young man's progress. When Mrs. Leslie 
 appeared Colonel Honyman burst out : 
 
 "Don't you see? George may be Lord 
 High Chancellor any day he likes!" 
 
 " George " did become a barrister of emi- 
 nence, was made a judge younger than most 
 men, and received more congratulations than 
 most. But at his first assizes it was his duty 
 to condemn seven or eight men to death, 
 a matter which affected him so deeply that 
 it caused a stroke of paralysis from which he 
 died. 
 
 Colonel Honyman's solicitude was not 
 limited to his children ; he took the most 
 affectionate care of his mother, who was 
 somewhat inclined to indulge in sweets at 
 table, which he thought unwholesome. 
 
 " Mother," he said impressively one day, 
 " God made beef and mutton, but the devil 
 made tipsy cake." "Ah, weell, Ord," replied
 
 JOYS AND SORROWS. 55 
 
 the old Scotch lady, "the deil's made mony 
 a gude thing in his day." 
 
 Mr. George Bowen, of Coton Hall, Shrop- 
 shire, Colonel Honyman's brother-in-law, was 
 also a particular friend of the Leslies ; and 
 a visit which they paid to him in 1838 with 
 their eldest daughter was indirectly the cause 
 of a great change in their religious con- 
 victions. This change was so remarkable and 
 far-reaching that it must be discussed in a 
 separate chapter.
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES. 
 
 THE railway to Birmingham was opened in 
 1838, a matter which greatly facilitated a long- 
 promised visit to Coton Hall, where after 
 spending a pleasant week, Mr. and Mrs. 
 Leslie with their daughter Eleanor returned 
 to Wands worth. In the train with them was 
 a large, loosely-built man, coarse in appear- 
 ance, but of considerable mental power. He 
 began to talk of religion with a simplicity and 
 earnestness that caught the attention of all. 
 Mrs. Leslie afterwards said, in speaking of 
 this first meeting with one who was destined 
 for some years to exercise a large influence 
 on the religious life of the family, " I made 
 a remark which I thought very wise, and he 
 showed me how foolish I was." 
 
 They discovered before leaving the train 
 that he was a certain Robert Aitken, Dis- 
 senting minister in London, and that he 
 preached at Zion Chapel in the Waterloo 
 Road. 
 
 On the first Sunday after their return 
 home, Mr. Leslie went in search of it, and 
 afterwards said to his wife, "I am sorry and
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES. 57 
 
 glad that you were not there. The place is 
 low, and the congregation poor and rough, 
 but Aitken is the only man who ever gave 
 me an idea of what John Knox must have 
 been." 
 
 After this, they went regularly to Zion 
 Chapel. The services consisted of some 
 Scripture reading Mr. Aitken had a wonder- 
 ful voice, and read magnificently of hymns 
 and a sermon. It was the first really power- 
 ful peaching they had ever heard. One main 
 idea recurred constantly, and, indeed, ran 
 through all : to do everything for God. This 
 involved turning away from the world and 
 worldliness, a distinct act which Mr. Aitken 
 called conversion, and which Mrs. Leslie 
 certainly experienced about this time. Her 
 husband remarked a decided change in her. 
 Formerly she would be greatly disturbed by any 
 convulsion of nature a thunderstorm would 
 agitate and unnerve her; but now she would 
 be perfectly calm even during a great storm. 
 She never did things in a half-hearted way, 
 and entered thoroughly into Mr. Aitken's 
 scheme of conversion, allowing him to make 
 use of her in the conversion of others, and 
 being quite lifted up above human respect or 
 fear. In after years, she always maintained 
 that she had then turned to God in a way she 
 had never done before.
 
 58 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Mr. Aitken's history is not without in- 
 terest. After a madcap youth, during which, 
 among other wild diversions, he was addicted 
 to the practice of wrenching off knockers, he 
 had started life seriously as a schoolmaster. 
 A professorship of elocution in Ireland was 
 to be competed for, and feeling that he had 
 natural gifts which might ensure his success, 
 he went to Dublin and presented himself as 
 a candidate. Finding that he would have to 
 wait some time before the examination, and 
 that he would have no money to pay his 
 hotel bills, he hired a hall, put out a pro- 
 gramme of pieces for recitation, and scored 
 such a success that the next day all the other 
 competitors for the professorship retired and 
 left the field to him. After this, he became 
 a clergyman in the Church of England, and 
 was presented to a living in one of the 
 northern counties. Here he married a lady 
 of good family, and went to the Isle of Man, 
 where, as he himself said, he went through a 
 sudden conversion, which entirely altered the 
 aims and objects he had hitherto striven for. 
 It seemed to him that God had said to him : 
 "You want to write a gospel for Me. I have 
 written one for you." He rushed out of the 
 house, and began to preach to the people in 
 the streets. He made up his mind that the 
 need for conversion was not properly taught
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES. 59 
 
 in the Church of England, and decided 
 to leave it. He hired a chapel, where he 
 preached and conducted services in his own 
 way. Later on he fell into great extra- 
 vagances, and led others into them. On 
 Sunday mornings the services at Zion Chapel 
 were decorous enough, but once Mr. and 
 Mrs. Leslie and Eleanor were present at an 
 evening service, when the most melodrama- 
 tic scenes took place. Mr. Aitken, having 
 preached a rousing and emotional sermon, 
 several women became agitated about their 
 spiritual condition, and he came to beg Mrs. 
 Leslie to go and speak to them, and complete 
 their conversion. While she was gone an 
 elder came up and asked Miss Leslie whether 
 she were converted. The young lady prudently 
 answered, "Yes, I'm all right," whereupon 
 the elder exclaimed, " Praise God ! Bless 
 the Lord ! Amen," and ran up to some one 
 else, who not giving an equally satisfactory 
 answer was hustled over to a group of people 
 kneeling on the floor, and undergoing the 
 moral throes of the second birth. Another 
 man had, meanwhile, accosted Mr. Leslie with 
 the usual question. He managed to get rid 
 of him in the graceful manner peculiar to him- 
 self, and then, turning to his daughter, asked 
 severely, " How long is your mother going 
 to stay in this damned place ? "
 
 60 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 The scenes were sometimes startling and 
 repulsive enough, if we may trust the writer 
 of an article in BlackwoocTs Magazine for 
 July, 1838, entitled "My First Circuit," which 
 describes vividly the sighs and groans of the 
 would-be converts, the loud prayers and 
 fervent ejaculations, interspersed with the 
 running comments of those who were helping 
 on the desired finale, when the sinner should 
 suddenly find peace in believing. The excite- 
 ment was at its height when the object of all 
 the contortions and frantic appeals declared 
 him or herself converted, and the hand- 
 shakings and congratulations began.* 
 
 It may appear strange that people of 
 refinement and culture like the Leslies should 
 even for a moment have been attracted by 
 teaching that contained such gross and vulgar 
 elements. But it must be remembered that 
 at that time anything like fervour or religious 
 feeling was so entirely non-existent in the 
 Church of England services, that whoever 
 preached a different gospel was sure of a 
 hearing from those who craved something 
 more than the dry bones of formalism and a 
 ritual devoid of heart and soul. The egre- 
 gious stories told of the perfunctoriness of 
 
 1 There is also an account of these services in Newman's 
 "Loss and Gain"; and a graphic description of Mr. Aitken's 
 methods in O'Neil Daunt's "Saints and Sinners."
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES. 61 
 
 hunting squarsons were scarcely exaggera- 
 tions of the truth, and already a recoil was 
 in preparation from a state of things so bad 
 that they brought their own remedy. But 
 the dissenters were first in the field, and it 
 was partly owing to their exertions on the 
 side of earnestness in the manner of con- 
 ducting public worship that the Church of 
 England lump began to be leavened. More- 
 over, in this particular instance, the person- 
 ality of Mr. Aitken, with all its drawbacks, 
 was nevertheless imposing. His immense 
 power, his eloquence, and a certain laying of 
 his hands on the soul, as it were, could not 
 fail to impress those who looked beneath the 
 surface and were able to discern a mind 
 superior to its surroundings. His preaching 
 was not always of the emotional kind ; he 
 could be practical also, and, above all, he 
 believed that "more things are wrought by 
 prayer than this world dreams of." Preaching 
 one day at Zion Chapel, he said that some- 
 times God granted unreasonable petitions in 
 anger, and he instanced his own case, when 
 anxiously desiring a certain chapel in the 
 north of England, he prayed for it inordin- 
 ately. The people in that part were pro- 
 foundly ignorant, and it seemed to him that he 
 might do great good if he could work among 
 them. He told his hearers that not getting
 
 62 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 any light as he prayed about the matter, he 
 flung himself down and rolled on the floor 
 like a wayward child. Suddenly he heard a 
 ring, and had scarcely time to compose him- 
 self when a lady, quite a stranger, came in, 
 said she understood he wanted to buy the 
 chapel in question, and gave him the money 
 to do so. He bought the chapel, but ' found 
 that he could do nothing with the people. 
 After this, it would seem that he " always 
 prayed temperate prayers " with regard to his 
 own particular desires. 
 
 It is doubtful, when all is said, whether 
 Mrs. Leslie did not exercise as much influ- 
 ence on Mr. Aitken's life as he did on hers. 
 He looked upon her as his best convert, and 
 it cannot be denied that she owed much to 
 him in the deepening and broadening of her 
 spirituality; but, at the same time, she never 
 entirely submitted her judgment to his. He 
 was no Pope to her, and the attraction of his 
 teaching for her lay chiefly in the irresistible 
 necessity which prompted her to pursue 
 every broken spar of truth that came in her 
 way. 
 
 It was, on the other hand, largely through 
 her influence that he subsequently rejoined 
 the Church of England, with the intention of 
 filling up the gap which he felt existed in it 
 as regarded his favourite doctrine of con-
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES, 63 
 
 version. The welcome with which he was 
 received speaks for the estimation in which 
 the prodigal was held, the manner of dis- 
 posing of him being equally eloquent of the 
 want of importance attached to any little 
 wandering from the fold. Dr. Hook, then 
 Vicar of Leeds, having divided the town 
 into twelve parishes, kept one for himself 
 and appointed Mr. Aitken to one of the 
 others ; and we shall presently see the odd 
 fusion of his old Calvinism and new High 
 Churchism finding much the same outlet as 
 before, but calling itself by another name. 
 But long before this Mrs. Leslie had passed 
 on to a loftier view and a firmer hold on that 
 truth which she had always sought. The 
 change, however, like all real progress, was 
 gradual, and meanwhile it would have 
 appeared to most onlookers as if, in the 
 Leslie household, Calvinism had come to stay. 
 A clergyman, who was a frequent visitor, 
 one day asked one of the children who was 
 playing with a doll whether she did not 
 know God's commandment, "Thou shalt not 
 make to thyself any graven image " ! On 
 another occasion the same large-minded divine 
 arrived at the house in a state of depression 
 surpassing his wont. He had encountered a 
 lady who wore a narrow velvet ribbon round 
 her head to control some unmanageable lock
 
 64 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 of hair. " And I know where she will go to," 
 he remarked, with a gloom only exceeded by 
 his cocksureness. 
 
 At this period, the children's story-books 
 having been condemned by the powers that 
 overshadowed this singularly innocent house- 
 hold, tracts were substituted, and dismal tales 
 of the Waldenses, the only apparent recrea- 
 tion being the singing of hymns in the 
 evening. A repulsive publication called The 
 Weekly Visitor produced such a morbid effect 
 upon the younger children that one of them 
 got up sobbing one night, terrified with the 
 awful doubt as to whether she were a child 
 of God or no. A servant came to Mrs. Leslie 
 in the drawing-room with the startling 
 announcement that " Miss Charlotte," who 
 had been put to bed some hours before, "was 
 in the kitchen." Alarmed, the anxious mother 
 hurried to the kitchen, and found the child in 
 her night-dress. On being questioned, she 
 said she wanted to speak to her mother, and 
 thought it would frighten her less if she sent 
 someone to tell her. Mrs. Leslie carried the 
 child back to bed, and to her earnest entreaty 
 to be told whether she was indeed a child of 
 God, her mother assured her that having 
 been made one in baptism, and never having 
 done anything to forfeit the grace, she might 
 rest satisfied that she was. "That's all I
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES. 65 
 
 wanted to know, Mammy," said the child, and 
 was asleep in a moment. 
 
 The torments of hell being far oftener 
 treated of in sermons than the joys of heaven, 
 as was also the certainty that the greater 
 number of people were doomed to eternal 
 damnation, it seems marvellous to those who 
 have not undergone the same spiritual treat- 
 ment that there should have been any room 
 left for the love of God in hearts so drilled to 
 fear. Yet Mrs. Leslie' was not alone in rising 
 above these tremendous difficulties to higher 
 and sweeter things. Much of course de- 
 pended on the soil on which the gruesome 
 doctrine fell. A friend who shared this phase 
 of religious conviction, working through it, 
 like Mrs. Leslie, to the larger, fuller truth 
 beyond, once said in after years : 
 
 " I used to think if I did go to hell that 
 anyhow I could not blaspheme there, for I 
 knew that was the language of hell. God 
 had always been so kind, I could not bear 
 the thought of blaspheming Him. But I 
 imagined that perhaps I and some others 
 might get together and still praise God in 
 a corner in hell." 
 
 However, as we have seen, Mr. Aitkens' 
 extravagances of doctrine and method were 
 by no means the whole man. Behind these 
 was a fund of faith and real humility, finding
 
 66 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 vent in a simple eloquence, which constituted 
 his attraction for minds of a high order. One 
 of his hearers remembers a remarkable 
 sermon in which, having read to his congrega- 
 tion the parable of the Sower, he proceeded 
 to enlarge upon it, and said with a simplicity 
 that took all hearts : 
 
 "When I was a little boy going to the 
 Sunday school I recollect saying to myself 
 ' How stupid those disciples must have been, 
 not to have understood the parable of the 
 Sower ' ; and now that I am a man with 
 more than forty summers over my head, I 
 pray God to make me understand the parable 
 of the Sower." 
 
 As the preacher went on, the child on 
 whom these words made so deep an impres- 
 sion that he remembered them distinctly after 
 more than fifty years, said to himself, "I will 
 be a good boy." 
 
 Perhaps the gentler touches, were the more 
 appreciated on account of the usual sternness 
 of the sermons. Sometimes a prophet of 
 a milder type arose, who laid aside the 
 terrors of the Law for the consolations of the 
 Beatitudes. And when one Sunday morning 
 the low, pleading tones of a stranger broke 
 the expectant silence of Zion Chapel, a new 
 era began for some members of the congrega- 
 tion. The preacher was a Mr. Harris, a man
 
 DISSENTING INFLUENCES. 67 
 
 of extensive learning, profound faith and the 
 most tender, loving piety.* His health, which 
 had always been feeble from his youth, pre- 
 vented his taking a very active part in the 
 ministry, but all who came in contact with 
 him were impressed with his sanctity and 
 with the sweetness of his utter abandonment 
 to the will of God. From the time of his 
 first appearance at Zion Chapel he began to 
 exercise a beneficent influence on Mrs. Leslie's 
 religious life. Her intense desire to arrive at 
 the truth made her ready to respond to every 
 suggestion that seemed to lead upwards, with 
 a docility the more remarkable because she 
 remained unentangled in any of the systems 
 or means through which she passed to the 
 longed-for haven. And the childlike single- 
 ness of heart and purpose, conspicuous in all 
 Mr. Harris's dealings with souls, was ad- 
 mirably suited to guide without detaining, 
 while he himself, journeying onward towards 
 the same end, was able to illumine the way, 
 in spite of the different paths they trod. 
 
 It was in 1841 that High Church tenden- 
 cies led Mrs. Leslie and her family a step 
 further on the road to truth. Mr. Harris 
 never belonged to the Church of England, 
 
 * For an account of his life and character see an article in 
 the Dublin Review for 1850, entitled " The Priest's Hidden Life," 
 by Cardinal Wiseman.
 
 68 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 but so identical were their motives that the 
 change in no wise affected the friendship that 
 united the whole Leslie family to him. Par- 
 ticularly apposite to this growth and progress 
 are the words of the poet in "In Memoriam :" 
 
 "I hold it truth with him who sings 
 
 To one clear harp in divers tones 
 That men may rise on stepping-stones 
 Of their dead selves to higher things.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 
 
 IN advising Mr. Aitken to return to the 
 Church of England, Mrs. Leslie was moved 
 by that principle of order and authority which 
 had always so great an attraction for her. 
 He was unable to control the unruly elements, 
 of which the greater part of his congregation 
 was composed, and difficulties abounded in 
 consequence. Before this change took place 
 he was in great poverty, which, however, he 
 bore with the deepest trust and confidence 
 in divine Providence, as the following incident 
 will show. Having been for some years 
 a widower, he had married a daughter of 
 Captain McDowall Grant of Arndilly, an old 
 friend of Mrs. Leslie's, and for some reason 
 Zion Chapel was given up. They were living 
 in very straitened circumstances at Finchley, 
 and one morning Mrs. Aitken put some bread 
 on the table, saying : 
 
 " That is our last loaf, and we have no 
 money." 
 
 "Trust in God," replied her husband with 
 his accustomed earnestness, and shortly after- 
 wards the door-bell rang, and a letter was
 
 7 o 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 handed in containing a five pound note, with an 
 intimation that another would follow, pro- 
 vided that no steps were taken to discover the 
 sender. 
 
 After rejoining the Anglican Church Mr. 
 Aitken was appointed, as we have already 
 seen, to one of the twelve parishes at Leeds. 
 He afterwards got a living in Cornwall, and 
 taught High Church some said Roman doc- 
 trine on very much the same lines as those 
 he had followed as a dissenter. All the 
 people about him were dissenters, and few 
 attended the services of the Established 
 Church until he came among them. But 
 before long his fame had spread far and 
 wide ; people crowded to hear him, and there 
 was scarcely room to stand, even in the 
 churchyard, on Sundays during divine worship. 
 
 The miners with their own hands built 
 a hall, where on Saturday evenings they 
 assembled to meet their vicar, who would 
 speak to them about the state of their con- 
 sciences. If one quailed beneath his glance, 
 Mr. Aitken would order him to go into the 
 next room and prepare for confession. All 
 this was very like the soul-searching in Zion 
 Chapel. As there had been a good deal of 
 advanced spirituality in his dissent, so there 
 was now a good deal of Nonconformist sen- 
 sationalism in his High Church practices.
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 71 
 
 Moreover, one is surprised to find that it 
 was not when he was a High Churchman, 
 but as a dissenter, when he was preaching 
 sudden conversion and the small number of 
 the elect, that he introduced Mrs. Leslie 
 to the " Imitation of Christ " and Rodriguez's 
 " Christian Perfection." 
 
 In the meanwhile High Churchism had 
 invaded Wands worth. About 1841 a Mr. 
 Shaw, perpetual curate at a chapel of ease 
 in that place, was associated in his work 
 with a Cambridge friend, the Rev. John 
 Joseph Gordon, who had come to live at 
 Wandsworth with his mother, a widow with 
 several younger children. Mr. Gordon had 
 imbibed a considerable amount of High 
 Church doctrine ; he preached regularly and 
 took his share in all the work, but quite 
 voluntarily, not being actually a curate or 
 even licensed by the Bishop. He was much 
 in society, and influenced people perhaps more 
 by his conversation than by his preaching, 
 although his sermons attracted a good deal 
 of attention. He was beloved by all for his 
 very charming qualities of heart and mind. 
 Before becoming a clergyman he had served 
 in the Indian army, but was ordered home 
 on sick leave after two years' service. All 
 his life his thoughts had been turned to piety, 
 and during his illness he had had much time
 
 72 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 for reflection. The doctors decided that his 
 health would never allow him to live in 
 India, and, having to begin a new career, he 
 determined to take orders in the Established 
 Church. He was entered at Trinity College, 
 Cambridge, in October, 1833. Here he at 
 once got into a religious set. He did not 
 read for honours, although his tastes were 
 literary and intellectual. In 1837 he took his 
 degree and presented himself for ordination. 
 At that time his opinions were decidedly 
 evangelical, but they gradually merged into 
 High Church views, the "Tracts for the Times" 
 and Newman's " Parochial Sermons " mainly 
 influencing him. Mr. Gordon was an ardent 
 admirer of Newman, and one evening a 
 number of people at the Leslie's were 
 discussing the possibility of his going too far 
 and becoming a Catholic. Mr. Gordon de- 
 fended him with some warmth and ended by 
 saying, " Pusey jnay go to Rome Newman, 
 never! " 
 
 A friendship sprang up between Mrs. 
 Gordon's children and the young Leslies, who 
 were about the same age, and the new influ- 
 ence made itself agreeably felt among them. 
 It was a novel feature in their religious train- 
 ing to find importance attached to the ob- 
 servance of fasts and festivals, and to be 
 encouraged to go to prayers in the parish
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 73. 
 
 church on week-days. Mrs. Leslie was so 
 much grieved at there being no service on 
 Ascension Day that she remonstrated with 
 the vicar, who consented to hold one, and 
 the custom was never dropped. In a letter 
 written in her old age she referred to this 
 fact with evident pleasure. One of her chil- 
 dren still remembers that once prayers could 
 not be read, as he and his sister formed the 
 whole congregation. 
 
 The juvenile literature disseminated by Mr. 
 Gordon soon replaced the obnoxious Weekly 
 Visitor, " The Fairchild Family," etc., and 
 their favourite books were now " Conversa- 
 tions with Cousin Rachel," "Agathos," "The 
 Shadows of the Cross," and above all Keble's 
 hymns, the refined piety of which soon gave 
 them a distaste for the methodistical cant 
 upon which they had been nourished for the 
 last few years. 
 
 Mr. Leslie, who, in spite of the exaggera- 
 tions of Mr. Aitken's methods, always liked 
 the man himself for his rough unworldliness, 
 did not take so kindly to the new lights. His 
 Scotch Presbyterianism was to die a hard 
 death, and he scoffed at the doctrine of sacra- 
 mental grace preached by Mr. Gordon, while 
 his wife, with her keen perception of truth 
 whenever it was put before her, recognized 
 at once the absolute necessity of it.
 
 74 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Another feature of the High Church move- 
 ment was the more fully developed doctrine 
 of almsgiving. The Rev. Mr. Shaw preached 
 one Sunday a very touching sermon about 
 some distressed family. Sir Ord Honyman 
 and his son George were present, and between 
 them sat George's friend, young Leslie. One 
 of Sir Ord's peculiarities was that he would 
 never carry money about with him, and when 
 the plate was going round he whispered : 
 "Willie, tell George to lend me half-a-crown." 
 
 "George, your father says you are to lend 
 him half-a-crown;" whereupon George, handing 
 the money, said with a rueful countenance, 
 "There's a dead loss of half-a-crown." 
 
 In the meanwhile Mr. Harris and another 
 intimate friend of the Leslie family, Mr., 
 afterwards Sir George, Bridges, were advanc- 
 ing still more rapidly in the new direction. 
 To one of them, however, the direction was 
 scarcely a new one, for in a strange mysterious 
 way Mr. Harris, from his youth upwards, had 
 recognized and held the doctrines now being 
 taught by the High Church party, although 
 he had never belonged to the Church of 
 England, and had waited with the utmost 
 humility and patience for some outward indica- 
 tion of what he should do, lest any decisive 
 action of his own should be wrong or pre- 
 sumptuous.
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 75 
 
 In some sort a climax was arrived at when 
 Mr. Bridges gave Mrs. Leslie a little Catholic 
 prayerbook for herself, and another, called 
 "The Young Communicants," for her children. 
 They were not immediately allowed to read 
 it, but when they did, with the directness 
 and uncompromising logic of children, the 
 younger ones at least drank in and assim- 
 ilated a large amount of Cathoic doctrine. 
 
 In April, 1839, the good minister, whose 
 beautiful, blameless life, warm heart and 
 generous sympathies had endeared him to 
 a large circle of friends, had died, * and in 
 October of the same year Mrs. Leslie suffered 
 the loss of her beloved mother. This latter 
 event brought about some changes. The 
 famous distillery, the cherished idea of Mr. 
 Falconer Atlee's life, now failed to be anything 
 but a source of anxiety to him. Either in- 
 creasing years made the burden too great, or 
 the changes that had come over the commercial 
 world were unfavourable to the undertaking. 
 It was no longer profitable, and Mr. Atlee was 
 advised to retire from it. He was able to do so 
 on fairly advantageous terms, and went to live 
 at Brighton, where it was arranged that each 
 of his daughters should live with him in turn 
 
 * Even now (in 1898) the people in Morayshire still talk of the 
 benevolent old minister who cut down trees round his house, and 
 kept a light burning on wild nights to invite poor travellers to 
 come for shelter and food.
 
 76 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 and keep house for him. In June, 1842, there- 
 fore, Mrs. Leslie went with her children to 
 Brighton, and a memorandum referring to the 
 time spent there in which she speaks of it as 
 " ten months of luxurious ease and comfort, 
 with the most tender and devoted of fathers," 
 is eloquent of the trouble and anxiety under- 
 gone before and after. 
 
 These were indeed hard times for the whole 
 family. Their son had been got into the Royal 
 Academy at Woolwich, it must be owned, 
 somewhat unfairly. The Whig Master-General 
 of the Ordnance, knowing that he was about to 
 go out of office, pushed in a number of young 
 fellows in an irregular way. The Tory Master- 
 General of the Ordnance coming in, swept 
 a good many out, and among them young 
 Leslie. The blow was the more acutely felt 
 from the fact that the business horizon was less 
 promising than ever. Towards the end of her 
 stay at Brighton Mrs. Leslie had become 
 seriously uneasy on account of the large 
 speculations in which her husband was involved, 
 and her anxieties increased when she found that 
 he, so sanguine in general, was getting alarmed 
 himself. Her place having been taken by her 
 sister Harriet, who had arrived with her 
 husband, the Comte de Pambour, she was free 
 to return to Wandsworth. 
 
 The year 1843 was a memorable one in
 
 JOHN FALCONER ATLEE . 
 (From a Sketch by the Rev. E. W. Leslie, SJ.) 
 
 [ To face page
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 77 
 
 the annals of financial failures, and Mr. Leslie 
 suffered more seriously than most people. The 
 sudden dissolution of the North American 
 Colonisation Company, and the repudiation of 
 its acts by the directors, among whom was 
 a great Scottish landowner, ruined those who 
 had carried out their orders, and were otherwise 
 involved in the enterprise. So great was the 
 public indignation felt for the shareholders, and 
 against the directors, who had succeeded in 
 completely screening their own interests, that 
 the affair, discussed in a leading article of the 
 Times newspaper, was the immediate cause of 
 the passing of the Limited Liability Act. But 
 the severity of the shock to Mr. Leslie, who was 
 made responsible for the whole failure, resulted 
 in serious symptoms of brain pressure, from 
 which he never entirely recovered, and which 
 was greatly owing to the distress of mind he 
 felt at being the innocent cause of losses to 
 other people. His state was such that he was 
 incapable of taking any steps towards settling 
 his affairs, and the whole onus of investigating 
 the extent of the failure and of meeting the 
 creditors devolved on Mrs. Leslie, whose good 
 sense and high principle gained for her the 
 admiration of them all. It was at this crisis 
 that Balnageith was sold. Another misfortune 
 which occurred about this time was, as it were, 
 the last straw in the weight which entirely
 
 7 8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 crushed her husband's courage and the natural 
 buoyancy with which he had borne up for so 
 long against repeated reverses. For many 
 years he had entertained hopes of making good 
 his claim to two very large fortunes, left by one 
 of his uncles in Cuba and by another in 
 Louisiana, and of being thus able to satisfy 
 all his creditors abundantly. But his health 
 never permitted him to go to America, and 
 an agent, whom he sent out in his place, proved 
 unfaithful to the confidence reposed in him, 
 appropriated large sums, and absconded. 
 
 In the midst of all these accumulated trials it 
 was thought best that the family should remove 
 to Scotland, where they could live more 
 economically on the small income reserved for 
 their most pressing needs, and where it was 
 hoped that Mr. Leslie's health might improve. 
 
 All the painful business of the winding-up of 
 affairs and the arrangements for the sale of 
 their furniture was necessarily done by his 
 wife. Kind and valued friends were not 
 wanting to help and advise at this critical 
 moment, but there was much to be done, the 
 burden of which no friend, however experienced, 
 could lift from her shoulders. When all was 
 in order, one of the trustees said : " Mrs. Leslie 
 is the best man of business I know." 
 
 They sailed from London on a Saturday 
 evening in May, 1844. A number of old friends,
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 79 
 
 among whom was Mr. George Honyman, came 
 to see them off and wish them " God speed." 
 
 Mrs. Leslie's courage never failed for 
 a moment, though her heart must have been 
 heavy and her mind full of misgivings for the 
 unknown future that lay dark and doubtful 
 before them all. Bending over her children's 
 berths, as they steamed slowly down the 
 Thames, she suggested, in her usual brave clear 
 tones, that the 22nd Psalm would be a good 
 one to say till sleep came. 
 
 Late on Monday afternoon the weary 
 travellers arrived in Edinburgh, and went 
 straight to the house of the Dowager Lady 
 Caithness in George Street. 
 
 To the three girls, who had spent the last 
 few months in England at their grandfather's 
 bright, sunny house on the Marine Parade, 
 Brighton, the change was not a cheerful one. 
 The house in George Street looked north, and 
 its air of faded grandeur was melancholy. The 
 furniture was heavy and antiquated, and pain- 
 fully stiff in appearance. The pictures on the 
 walls alone afforded some interest, and the 
 young people at once noted the portraits of their 
 father's uncles the Earl of Caithness, and Lord 
 Duffus, the latter in a kilt. Their grandmother's 
 portrait also came in for a share of their 
 attention ; but one of Mary Queen of Scots, 
 painted at the time of her marriage, called forth
 
 So ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 all their enthusiasm. It was somewhat damping 
 to their youthful spirits to find that the house- 
 hold was entirely composed of old people : their 
 great-aunt, her daughter, Lady Charlotte 
 McGregor, very beautiful and fair, but with 
 hair a silvery white, an old Miss Sinclair, Lady 
 Caithness's companion, a very old housekeeper 
 and an equally venerable coachman in fact the 
 servants, horses, carriage, even the piano 
 everything was old. But the welcome they 
 received was so warmly affectionate that the 
 first rather chilling impression soon wore off, 
 and the children were delighted to hear their 
 father called "dearest Archie," and to see both 
 their parents made much of, though it was 
 somewhat of a relief to find that they themselves 
 were to sleep at the house of Mr. Thomas 
 Innes, a friend of their father's. However, 
 after a day or two, Lady Caithness said it was 
 better "to have the bairns under yer ain roof- 
 tree," and made arrangements to take them in 
 also. It was, among other peculiarities, a clock- 
 less household, but the want of a clock by no 
 means caused a deficit in punctuality old Lady 
 Caithness saw to that. She had had a blind 
 brother, from whom she had inherited a watch 
 with an embossed dial plate. With this watch 
 in her hand, feeling it but not looking at it, she 
 would walk up and down the house in the most 
 stately manner, when the luncheon or dinner
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 81 
 
 hour or any other formal solemnity was 
 approaching, and emphatically inform all whom 
 it might concern what time it was. She was 
 a charming old lady, tall and still handsome, 
 with a clear silvery voice, and when off her 
 guard spoke with a broad Scotch accent. She 
 was naturally hot-tempered, and moreover of 
 a very delicate conscience. At night-prayers 
 a chapter from the Book of Wisdom was 
 read, and if some expression about a brawl- 
 ing woman occurred, the old lady would clear 
 her throat in an odd way, just as she did 
 when contradicted. The effect was indescrib- 
 ably funny. 
 
 On the days following the arrival of their 
 relations from the south, the whole family 
 came to greet them in George Street Lord 
 and Lady Caithness from Rutland Square, 
 Colonel and Mrs. Sinclair, and Miss Catherine 
 Sinclair the authoress. The younger Lady 
 Caithness was usually called in the family 
 " Lady Fanny," to distinguish her from her 
 mother-in-law. She was a clever woman, 
 admirable in many ways and very highly 
 esteemed. She professed great friendship for 
 Mrs. Leslie and was extremely kind to her 
 children. " Lady Fanny's " eldest son, Lord 
 Berriedale, had a remarkable talent for 
 mechanics, and in his mother's drawing-room 
 was a wonderful toy locomotive which he had
 
 82 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 made when a child. In a recess was an organ 
 which he had built and which he would some- 
 times play, with one of his little cousins on his 
 knee trying to take in his explanations about 
 it during the many happy days they spent in the 
 delightful house. Later on Lord Berriedale 
 became a special favourite with the Prince 
 Consort on account of his talents.* 
 
 On Sundays the Dowager Lady Caithness 
 drove with her companion in her old-fashioned 
 canary-coloured carriage to the Presbyterian 
 church ; but " Lady Fanny " had all the Leslie 
 family with her at St. John's Episcopalian 
 church, where Dean Ramsay and Mr. Berkeley 
 Addison officiated. St. John's was a vision of 
 beauty compared with the churches they had 
 hitherto frequented at Wandsworth and 
 Brighton. The services were carefully per- 
 formed, the stained glass windows gave 
 a certain warmth and colour to the building, 
 and altogether church-going became more 
 attractive than it had hitherto been. 
 
 After all that Mrs. Leslie had undergone 
 during the past months, the cordial welcome 
 from her husband's relations was naturally 
 very cheering, and the sweetness of her daily 
 intercourse with "Lady Fanny," whose High 
 
 * After he had become Earl of Caithness, his loyalty and love of 
 mechanics combined prompted him to act as engine driver on the 
 special train that brought the Princess of Wales to London before 
 her marriage.
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 83 
 
 Churchism at this time resembled her own, was 
 highly prized. 
 
 In the autumn other visits were paid before 
 seeking a permanent home and settling down 
 in it for the winter. Mr. Leslie and his eldest 
 daughter went to stay with other members of 
 his family in Banff and Moray shire, and also 
 with the Gordon-Cummmgs at Altyre, his wife 
 and younger daughters, Mary and Charlotte, 
 going to Midshields on the banks of the Teviot, 
 where Mrs. Leslie's brother, Mr. Falconer 
 Atlee, had taken a place and was staying with 
 his family. Here she found her son, who had 
 been placed with a surveyor at Oxford, his 
 holidays being generally spent at his uncle's. 
 He was extremely fond of sport, and when his 
 grandfather had offered to send him to college, 
 with a view to his becoming a clergyman, he 
 declined on the ground that he should not like 
 to be " a shooting parson." 
 
 Midshields was a delightful place for 
 a holiday, and they who were light-hearted 
 young people then, recall with enduring affec- 
 tion the charm of its associations, the views in 
 the neighbourhood, which took in the Minto 
 Crags, the Ruberslaw and the fascinating Eildon 
 Hills, the river with its picturesque windings, 
 the charming walks by its rocky bed, the 
 various expeditions to the ruined abbeys 
 within reach, and the excursions to Brank-
 
 84 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 some Hall. There was no Episcopalian church 
 near, and on Sundays the morning service 
 from the " Book of Common Prayer " was 
 read in the drawing-room. This devotion was 
 chiefly remarkable by the presence of a parrot 
 which, if anyone happened to sneeze would 
 upset the gravity of the congregation by 
 screaming " Fi done ! " 
 
 As nothing suitable could be found in 
 Edinburgh, a furnished house was taken at 
 Portobello, and became the home of the Leslie 
 family for the next eighteen months. It was 
 hoped that the sea air would have a bene- 
 ficial effect upon Mr. Leslie's health, and the 
 society of Colonel and Mrs. Sinclair and of 
 Lady Charlotte McGregor was an attraction to 
 the place. The event proved auspicious in the 
 acquisition of a new friend, the Rev. John 
 Cunningham Robertson, chaplain to the Duke 
 of Buccleuch, who came to live at Portobello 
 until the chapel which was being built by the 
 Duke in Dalkeith Park should be finished. 
 
 Mr. Robertson was a clergyman of the 
 Church of England, a singularly devout and 
 learned man, a thorough gentleman of great 
 refinement, and well able to understand Mrs. 
 Leslie's aspirations after all that was true and 
 beautiful. With a keen insight into her cha- 
 racter he was able to appreciate both the 
 strength of her mind and the depth of her
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 85 
 
 heart, qualities that made her so valuable and 
 charming a friend. But it cannot be said that 
 Mr. Robertson influenced her, or that he 
 introduced her to any new development of 
 doctrine. 
 
 Nevertheless, the devotions which she now 
 practised with her children marked a decided 
 advance on those of the later Wandsworth 
 days. Some one, perhaps Mr. George Bridges, 
 had sent her a manuscript copy of the " Litany 
 of the Holy Ghost," and this prayer she 
 encouraged her children to say at Pente- 
 cost. Mr. Robertson gave them the " Life 
 of St. Stephen Harding," " The Birthday," 
 "Amy Herbert," and other books which the 
 children read with avidity. They were greatly 
 surprised when the authoress Miss Sinclair 
 stigmatized the three above mentioned as " the 
 wickedest books that ever were written." 
 These were followed by Herbert's poems and 
 Bishop Cosin's " Devotions." 
 
 Although now following a different school, 
 Mrs. Leslie retained as firm a hold as ever 
 on the friendships which had been so much 
 to her in the past. She was always intensely 
 loyal to those whom she had once loved, and, 
 as we have noticed elsewhere, never lost a 
 friend by her own fault. Mr. Aitken had 
 been the first to strike a deep note, to awaken 
 in her a sense of God's claims. He had
 
 86 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 taught her the necessity of turning to God 
 and of despising the world ; and when he had 
 accomplished this work, his mission to her 
 apparently ceased. Beyond this point she 
 was of more use to him than he was to her. 
 Mr. Harris, both on account of his own 
 personal holiness and of the truths he put 
 before her, had great influence not only 
 during the time when she came immediately 
 in contact with him, but to the end of his life- 
 To Mr. Gordon she owed her first notions on 
 the subject of sacramental grace and her re- 
 lease from the bonds of Calvinistic narrowness. 
 Once, when Mr. Robertson was going to 
 London on a visit, Mrs. Leslie asked him to 
 call on the two first of these old friends. 
 Afterwards, in describing his meeting with 
 them, he said that Mr. Aitken had given him 
 an idea of St. Paul, and Mr. Harris of 
 St. John the Evangelist. When Mr. Robert- 
 son removed to Dalkeith, the Leslies visited 
 him there, and the children came to look 
 upon him as a sort of spiritual guide and 
 adviser. During one of these visits the two 
 youngest children asked him for an ejaculatory 
 prayer or maxim, and to one of them he 
 replied, " In quietness and in confidence shall 
 be thy strength." To the other he said, "As 
 the hart pants after the fountains of water, 
 so does my soul long after Thee, O God ! "
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 87 
 
 Then he gave them his blessing and traced 
 a cross on their heads. 
 
 These visits to Dalkeith resulted in a 
 friendship with Cecil Lady Lothian, which 
 only ended at her death, many years after- 
 wards. Everything was now converging 
 towards the confession of a definite and 
 permanent faith by Mrs. Leslie and by the 
 greater number of those who have already 
 appeared in this memoir in connection with 
 her. At Portobello she became acquainted 
 with a Catholic priest, a Mr. Clapperton. 
 Colonel Sinclair, whose kindness was such 
 that he could not bear to see any one lonely 
 or neglected, and thinking that this gentleman 
 might be both, invited him to dinner and 
 Mr. and Mrs. Leslie to meet him. On 
 this occasion Mrs. Leslie first heard of the 
 existence of a convent in Edinburgh, and not 
 long afterwards the whole family, under Mr. 
 Clapperton's guidance, paid their first visit to 
 St. Margaret's, a convent with which they 
 were afterwards closely connected. 
 
 During this time Mrs. Leslie mainly occu- 
 pied herself with the education of her two 
 younger girls. Eleanor was already grown 
 up and was very little with her parents, often 
 paying long visits to friends and relations, 
 who took her out. She had been brought up 
 partly by her aunt, Mrs. Maxwell, a thoroughly
 
 88 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 good and conscientious woman, who, how- 
 ever, had little sympathy with her sister's 
 advanced opinions, and it was therefore 
 natural that Eleanor should be somewhat 
 estranged from the rest of her family, and 
 should hold herself aloof from their views and 
 convictions. Later on she lived for long 
 intervals with Lord and Lady Caithness, who 
 had no daughter, and to whom in a manner 
 she supplied the place of one. 
 
 The months at Portobello passed away not 
 unpleasantly. There was plenty of variety in 
 the life there, although Mrs. Leslie took care 
 that in their altered circumstances great sim- 
 plicity should be observed in every detail of 
 their household and dress, which she insisted 
 should be as inexpensive as possible. Occa- 
 sionally old Lady Caithness sent her carriage 
 for them all, and sometimes the children would 
 be sent alone to visit her. When they went 
 alone, she thought it her duty to read for their 
 edification four chapters from the Book of 
 Proverbs every day, two in the morning and 
 two in the evening. The Sunday evening 
 family prayers would have had the most 
 soporific effect on the children but for the 
 fascination of watching the expression of old 
 Robbie, the coachman, who always made the 
 most horrible faces in his efforts to keep him- 
 self awake.
 
 HIGH CHURCH INFLUENCES. 89 
 
 Meanwhile the days at Portobello were 
 drawing to a close. In the spring of 1846 
 Mr. Leslie and his two youngest daughters 
 paid a visit to Mr. and Lady Janet Buchanan 
 at Blairvadoch on the Gairloch, while Mrs. 
 Leslie went to her brother's in Roxburghshire. 
 The following summer saw them all established 
 in a small apartment in Castle Street, Edin- 
 burgh, with the exception of the two eldest 
 children, who were in England. It was an 
 exceedingly hot summer, and one of Mrs. 
 Leslie's daughters had a sunstroke which 
 ended in a dangerous fever through which 
 her mother nursed her. In the autumn they 
 removed to a furnished house in Minto Street, 
 where they spent the most important year of 
 their lives.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 
 
 HITHERTO the pursuit of truth had been ac- 
 companied only by consolations. Every new 
 gleam faithfully followed had led to an 
 abundant increase of light and grace, but the 
 time was now rapidly approaching when 
 the logical consequences which cut through 
 marrow and bone must be accepted in the 
 same spirit of faith, and we shall find that 
 Mrs. Leslie did not shrink from them. 
 
 Bossuet's " Exposition de la Doctrine de 
 1'^glise Catholique," and some letters of Fene- 
 lon's to a Protestant gentleman had brought 
 her very near to the Catholic Church, and 
 she had long been familiar with nearly every 
 doctrine that the Church teaches. Her son 
 objecting one day to prayers for the dead, 
 she exclaimed, "Oh, don't talk of that. I 
 never could help praying for the dead since 
 Lady Cumming died."* Perhaps it was the 
 reception into the Church of several of her 
 friends that made her own position clear to 
 her, showing her the necessity of a last 
 definite step before she could be in full 
 
 * Wife of Sir William Gordon-Gumming of Altyre.
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 91 
 
 possession of that truth which she had always 
 loved 
 
 Mr. Harris, who had been unconsciously a 
 Catholic at heart all his life, had at last realised 
 that it was not presumption but duty that 
 urged him to claim his birthright as a member 
 of the one true Church, and his example 
 of entering into actual communion with it 
 was followed about the same time by several 
 others. 
 
 A few young men of Catholic tendencies, 
 who were under the impression that a priest 
 had said they were justified in remaining as 
 they were for the present, were living with 
 Mr. Oakeley, of All Saints', Margaret Street, 
 London.* Among them was Mrs. Leslie's 
 friend, Mr. George Bridges, and a Mr. Tickell, 
 who carried their austerities to such extremes 
 that the latter fell ill, and was obliged to go 
 abroad for his health. Their mode of life 
 has been aptly described as "the practice 
 of spirituality without licence." While Mr. 
 Tickell was in Belgium he fell in with some 
 members of the Weld family, who convinced 
 him that his position was an unsafe one, and 
 he accordingly became a Catholic. On his 
 return to London he burst into his friend's 
 room, saying, " Bridges, this is all humbug. I 
 
 * Afterwards, as a Catholic, Canon Oakeley, of St. John's, 
 Islington.
 
 9 2 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 have a cab at the door; come and be received 
 into the Church." He was so changed that 
 Mr. Bridges scarcely knew him, and in a few 
 days the friends were again united in one 
 faith. Tickell had won the Eldon scholarship 
 at Oriel College, Oxford, and one day two 
 undergraduates were talking of his conversion 
 One of them was defending him against the 
 other, who was turning over the leaves of a 
 novel as he spoke, and by a curious coincidence 
 his eyes fell upon this verse : 
 
 I see a hand thou canst not see, which beckons me away ; 
 I hear a voice thou canst not hear, which says I must not 
 stay. TICKELL. 
 
 Mr. Robertson was also advancing, though 
 more slowly, in the same direction. Miss 
 Henderson, a bitter Protestant friend of 
 " Lady Fanny's," had given to Mrs. Leslie's 
 children a quantity of beads made of berries 
 from the Garden of Gethsemane, and sug- 
 gested that they should be strung into neck- 
 laces. The children showed them to Mr. 
 Robertson, whose eyes filled with tears as he 
 begged them to bestow some on him. When 
 they next saw those which they had given 
 him, he had threaded them in decades, with a 
 little cross attached, forming a rosary. He ex- 
 plained to them the antiquity and origin of 
 counting prayers on beads, and taught them 
 to say the rosary, substituting the Gloria Patri
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 93 
 
 for the Ave Maria. In the same way he in- 
 structed them in the devotion of the Angelus, 
 but not at first with the Hail Mary. Then 
 Mr. Bridges gave Mrs. Leslie the little 
 prayer book " Flowers of Piety," containing 
 the Jesus Psalter, the rosary prayers and the 
 ordinary litanies. This book was regarded as 
 a treasure ; the children copied out the 
 rosary prayers, and henceforth both Mary and 
 Charlotte said the rosary daily together as 
 well as they knew how, having strung their 
 Gethsemane beads also into decades. From 
 time to time they called at St. Margaret's 
 Convent and obtained the loan of books, 
 among others of "The Travels of an Irish 
 Gentleman in Search of a Religion " and 
 Milner's " End of Controversy." These were 
 carefully read, and notes taken on all the 
 controverted or difficult points. 
 
 At length Mrs. Leslie felt that she could 
 delay no longer in taking the decisive step 
 which for some time she had seen was in- 
 evitable if she would follow the dictates of 
 her conscience. Letters from Mr. Harris also 
 helped her to see all that was dangerous in 
 her actual position, being, as she was, a 
 Catholic at heart, and yet for want of that one 
 step forward, outside the Church. She asked 
 her husband's permission to be received, well 
 knowing that he would not forbid it ; but such
 
 94 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 was her love of obedience, that she sought to 
 embrace it, as on all other occasions, so in 
 the most important act of her life. Mr. Leslie 
 was much grieved and distressed at her de- 
 cision, although he respected to the full the 
 purity and sincerity of her motive. After- 
 wards, in speaking to Mr. Clapperton, the 
 priest at Portobello, he expressed this in touch- 
 ing words, adding that she had long been ac- 
 customed to consider the will of God in all 
 things, and that she would often get up in the 
 middle of the night to pray. Still, to her 
 husband the result was a fearful pang, and he 
 felt that her reception into the Church was 
 indeed the separation for God's sake from 
 all whom she so dearly loved. He consulted 
 the Caithnesses and the Honymans. " Lady 
 Fanny's" high and dry Anglicanism came to 
 the front at once, and it was intimated to 
 Mrs. Leslie that if she became a Catholic the 
 friendship that existed between her and her 
 husband's cousins would be severed once and 
 for all, and that their doors would be closed 
 to her for ever. The threat was accompanied 
 by a word of advice to Mr. Leslie. The two 
 younger girls should be sent at once to 
 separate schools, away from their mother's 
 and from mutual influence. Sir Ord Hony- 
 man was, on the other hand, a most faithful 
 and loyal friend to Mrs. Leslie, urging that
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 95 
 
 no harsh measures should be taken, and adop- 
 ting throughout that time of suspense and 
 anxiety a tone as liberal as it was sensible 
 and just. By his influence it was at last ar- 
 ranged that for a time, at least, the two girls 
 were to remain at home, with the understand- 
 ing that conversation with their mother on 
 religious subjects was to be avoided by all 
 three. Eleanor, whose Protestant education 
 made her extremely hostile and bitter, was 
 fortunately a great deal absent at the time, 
 " Lady Fanny " showing her appreciation of 
 the young girl's attitude by inviting her more 
 and more frequently to Rutland Square. 
 
 The day fixed for Mrs. Leslie's abjuration 
 was December 3, the feast of St. Francis 
 Xavier, and her own birthday. She had 
 made her confession to Bishop Gillis the 
 previous evening, and left Minto Street alone 
 and on foot in the early morning of the 
 cold, dark winter's day. The ground was 
 slippery and walking was difficult as she 
 made her way towards St. Margaret's Con- 
 vent, the outside cheerlessness of things being 
 increased by a sharp mental struggle, which 
 seemed like a last attempt of nature to 
 draw her back when the goal was almost 
 reached. In her agony of mind she prayed 
 that if indeed she were mistaken and 
 about to do anything wrong, God would
 
 96 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 allow her to fall and break her leg, or be 
 otherwise hindered from carrying out her 
 intention. But the momentary doubt and hesi- 
 tation yielded to perfect contentment as she 
 knelt before the altar in the convent chapel 
 and was made for ever a child of the Catholic 
 Church. The ceremony was followed by 
 Bishop Gillis saying Mass, at which the new 
 convert received Holy Communion. On her 
 return to Minto Street she was welcomed 
 by Mary and Charlotte with joyful con- 
 gratulations, and the day which she always 
 regarded as her second birthday, and which to 
 the last year of her life she celebrated with 
 special thanksgivings, was passed by all three 
 in the most fervent dispositions of gratitude 
 and hope ; for while Mrs. Leslie rejoiced in 
 having been permitted to attain to the end 
 towards which she had been journeying ever 
 since she first awoke to a sense of the 
 objectiveness of truth and of God's claim to 
 the obedience of every created soul, she and 
 her two children might now look forward to 
 being soon again outwardly united, as they 
 were already one in faith. Nor was it a 
 time to despair of the conversion of the other 
 three beloved members of her family, little 
 likely as it then appeared; and perhaps it was 
 the earnest prayers offered on their behalf 
 on this ever-memorable feast of St. Francis
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 97 
 
 Xavier that obtained for them, in course of 
 time, the same grace and blessing. Mean- 
 while, however, there were rough roads to be 
 trodden, and it was no doubt a trial to all 
 when, on the following Sundays, Mrs. Leslie 
 went to Mass and her husband took the 
 children to the Protestant church. They would 
 have preferred the more advanced and less 
 gloomy services at St. John's, but their father 
 liked St. George's, in York Place, a hideous 
 little chapel, served by the Rev. Mr. Suther, 
 afterwards Bishop of Aberdeen. Occasion- 
 ally they were taken to Trinity Church, a 
 cold, uninviting building on the Dean Bridge, 
 where the services were made as uninteresting 
 as possible. As time went on the feelings 
 and prejudices of their relations made them- 
 selves felt. The displeasure of some was ex- 
 pressed with the greatest acrimony and in 
 unmeasured terms. " Lady Fanny " broke off 
 all intercourse with Mrs. Leslie, but old Lady 
 Caithness never ceased to be kind. She loved 
 and was proud of the whole family, and stuck 
 to them when others expressed their disap- 
 proval by harsh words or an unbroken 
 silence. As one after the other joined the 
 Catholic Church, all she would say was a 
 surprised " Gude be here ! " clearing her 
 throat in the way peculiar to her. Once Mrs. 
 Leslie, with Mary and Charlotte, was staying
 
 98 ELEANOR LESLIE 
 
 at her house when "Lady Fanny" came to 
 call. She was sharp and rude in her remarks, 
 and Mrs. Leslie grew faint as she heard 
 herself called "an apostate." The kind old 
 lady took her to her room and applied 
 restoratives, and when she was sufficiently 
 recovered soothed her in the tenderest way, 
 saying : " My dear, we all thought you so 
 perfect and charming we did not see the 
 necessity for any change ; but it's no for us to 
 judge, and there should be nae condemnation." 
 After this the estrangement between the 
 Leslies and Lord and Lady Caithness was 
 complete ; but unkind as " Lady Fanny " had 
 been, Mrs. Leslie always fought her battles, 
 as she had hitherto been in the habit of doing. 
 She was not liked by any of the Sinclairs, 
 and there were many opportunities of putting 
 in a good word for her, none of which were 
 missed. Years afterwards, Mrs. Leslie came 
 to breakfast one morning saying, " I have 
 been dreaming all night of 'Lady Fanny/ and 
 thought she was dying and begging my 
 pardon for all her unkindness." They had not 
 heard anything about her for a long time, 
 and did not know that she was ill. It was 
 therefore very startling to find during the day 
 that she had died the night before. 
 
 Colonel James Sinclair, brother of Lord 
 Caithness, was one of the most interesting
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 99 
 
 members of the family. He and Mr. Leslie 
 had grown up together, and used to be 
 spoken of in their time as "beautiful dancers," 
 a notable distinction in days when dancing 
 was looked upon as a fine art. He was de- 
 voted to Mrs. Leslie, and shortly before she 
 went to Portobello, meeting an old Miss 
 Maclaren, the sister of a Major Maclaren, an 
 old Indian officer, who by much study had 
 been converted from the Presbyterian form of 
 worship to Episcopalianism, said: "Oh, Miss 
 Maclaren, I hope soon to have the pleasure 
 of introducing my cousin Mrs. Leslie to you. 
 Except your brother, she is the most deeply 
 read theologian I ever knew. She has con- 
 verted hundreds of Jews, to /say nothing of 
 Jewesses, and her success witn sinners is quite 
 unparalleled." When he next saw Mrs. Leslie 
 he told her of the reputation he had given her, 
 and amusingly entreated her not to let him 
 down. His life had been a stirring one. A 
 war broke out soon after he had entered the 
 army, and his parents, more concerned for his 
 safety than for his career as a soldier, tried 
 to get his commission cancelled. But as soon 
 as he knew what they were about, he went 
 off to the War Office as fast as four horses 
 could take him, and asked to be sent to 
 Canada, the seat of war. His regiment ran 
 from a very hot fire, but young Sinclair,
 
 10 o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 then an ensign, stood firm with his colours, 
 and swore at the men to come back. After 
 this he was for some time with the Scots 
 Greys, and when he left the army he became 
 member for Caithness in Parliament. The 
 same careless, light-hearted temperament which 
 made him so dauntless, and at the same time 
 so attractive, was the cause of his reckless ex- 
 travagance. He was always hopelessly in 
 debt, and one day Mr. Leslie said to him : 
 
 "Jimmy, why don't you call your creditors 
 together and let them see that you have no 
 money to pay them?" 
 
 " Oh, my dear fellow," answered his cousin, 
 pathetically, " I couldn't live but for the ex- 
 citement they keep me in." 
 
 As might be expected, Colonel Sinclair 
 was absolutely indifferent to Mrs. Leslie's 
 change of religion, except for the gratification 
 which his sense of humour received from the 
 attitude of her various relations and friends. 
 His love of fun and mischief found vent in 
 the midst of the most unpromising material, 
 and he would make huge signs of the Cross 
 at his mother's table before dinner to cause 
 her to think that he, too, had become a 
 Catholic, and draw forth some of her caustic 
 remarks. 
 
 Mrs. Sinclair and her sister, Miss Tritton, 
 had been among Mrs. Leslie's earliest friends.
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS. 101 
 
 They were both women of most amiable 
 dispositions, and although they felt her 
 conversion deeply, they did not allow their 
 prejudices to interfere with the warm affection 
 they had always felt for her. It was at their 
 father's house at Wandsworth that Mr. Leslie 
 had first met his future wife, he having been 
 introduced to the Trittons by Colonel Sinclair. 
 Some time after her reception into the 
 Church, Mrs. Leslie met Miss Maclaren, and 
 held out her hand to greet her as usual. 
 Miss Maclaren drew back, and looked as if 
 at a perfect stranger. " Do you not recognise 
 me? I am Mrs. Leslie." "Oh, yes," answered 
 the old lady ; " I know who you are, but you 
 have fallen into darkness since I last saw 
 you." " If that is your opinion," said Mrs. 
 Leslie, "you had better pray to Him who 
 brought light out of darkness, to enlighten me 
 and all others who may need His divine 
 
 Throughout this trying time Mr. Leslie 
 never swerved from the high-minded and 
 generous position he had taken up towards 
 his wife, treating her with the greatest con- 
 sideration and confidence. He was obliged at 
 the beginning of the new year to take a short 
 journey on business, and in view of the un- 
 certainty of life, his own in particular, on 
 account of the precarious state of his health,
 
 io2 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 he thought it well to provide for all possible 
 emergencies, and wrote a touching letter 
 which he left with Mrs. Leslie. It ran thus : 
 
 1 6, Minto Street, January 4, 1847. 
 
 MY BELOVED WIFE, As I am going on a journey to- 
 morrow and considering the fragility of human life, I leave 
 this with you, to request that you pay that maternal care towards 
 all our children which you have ever so faithfully evinced towards 
 them, and that no other person be allowed to have any inter- 
 ference with you in this respect. As you promised to me in 
 your recent change of religion from that in which you were 
 brought up to that of the Church of Rome (and I know that 
 you made this change from the purest motives alone) that 
 you would not attempt to bias their young minds, which I 
 implore you not to do, and knowing you as I do in every relation 
 of life, I should prefer them to be under your guidance to 
 that of any other person on earth. I leave this in case of 
 need, at your request, but hope we may yet live some happy 
 years together. I am ever your affectionate husband, 
 
 To Mrs. Leslie. ARCHIBALD LESLIE. 
 
 As regards the manner in which Mrs. 
 Leslie's own relations viewed the step she 
 had taken, the results were various. Her 
 brother's attitude was entirely neutral, owing 
 to his complete aloofness from every form of 
 religion. And he was at least consistent in 
 this, that he considered every one free to 
 follow his own bent, whether that bent 
 inclined towards infidelity or Catholicism. 
 Opinions among her three sisters were 
 divided. Mrs. Maxwell's strong Protestantism 
 caused her to write with indignation expressed 
 in no measured terms. Madame de Pambour
 
 THE PARTING OF THE WAYS, 103 
 
 had herself become a Catholic and could 
 sympathise heartily with Mrs. Leslie, and her 
 youngest sister Emily, married to the Rev. 
 Henry Dowson, an Anglican clergyman of 
 no great mental weight or decided views, 
 could only echo her husband's feeble protests. 
 But every post brought letters expressing 
 sympathy or displeasure. Mr. Aitken's ul- 
 timatum was characteristic of the man. His 
 letter ended as follows : 
 
 You will be damned, I believe, eternally. I remain yours 
 affectionately, ROBERT AITKEN.
 
 104 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 REUNION. 
 
 MARY and Charlotte Leslie meanwhile re- 
 mained firm in their determination to follow 
 their mother into the Catholic Church. They 
 were so visibly unhappy at the delay in their 
 being permitted to do so that Mr. Leslie was 
 distressed, and puzzled how to act. At last he 
 determined to seek counsel, and, having fallen 
 upon a paper written by the two girls in which 
 they stated their reasons for wishing to become 
 Catholics, he called upon Bishop Terrot, as 
 the highest authority in the Episcopal Church, 
 to ask his advice. The bishop tried to shirk 
 the interview, but read the paper so admirably 
 clear, reasonable and forcible a document, 
 drawn up as it was by the unaided intelligence 
 of two mere children, aged respectively fifteen 
 and thirteen, that it is worth reproducing. 
 
 About six years ago [they wrote] one of the curates of Wands- 
 worth, Mr. John Gordon, who has lately become a Catholic, 
 gave us several little books which contained a great deal of 
 Catholic doctrine. A short time after, another very kind 
 Roman Catholic friend gave us a little Catholic story called 
 "The Young Communicants," explanatory of the sacraments 
 of penance and of the Blessed Eucharist, which made a deep 
 impression on our minds.
 
 REUNION. xos 
 
 In August last our brother came from Oxford, and, being 
 much interested in Catholicity, read a great many books on 
 both sides of the question, and repeated to us what he had 
 read. On going to St. Margaret's Convent one day, Sister 
 Agnes Xavier lent papa several books, among others " Dr. 
 Wiseman's Lectures," which Mary read ; and the result of our 
 investigation during the months of August and September was 
 this : that the Roman Catholic Church is the Church referred 
 to in Scripture and in the Creeds (where but one is spoken 
 of), and consequently the only true one. 
 
 We then formed our resolution of becoming Catholics as 
 soon as possible, wholly unknown to Mama; in fact, we had 
 many doubts how best to communicate to her our resolution, 
 when to our great joy, she told us that she was going to join 
 the Catholic Church, and then we began to entertain hopes 
 that we might be allowed to follow her steps. While we 
 know that in everything we owe the greatest respect and 
 obedience to our dear father's wishes, we never could agree 
 with his belief even in the Anglican Church ; for, as long as 
 we can recollect, he has always denied baptismal regeneration 
 and regarded that sacrament merely as a form by which a 
 name is given, and as one proper to be complied with for 
 the sake of being registered. When we were confirmed, two 
 years ago by Bishop Terrot, he told us in his address, that 
 we were then made responsible beings for the way in which 
 we followed out our own conscientious convictions of right 
 and wrong. This being a matter of conscience, we hope that 
 we may not be forced to act Against our convictions which 
 we were then told were to be the rule of our actions. Any 
 violent attempt to make us renounce our faith in the Catholic 
 Church, or to separate us from Mama would, we feel, break 
 our hearts, and injure our health, while our faith would be 
 confirmed by opposition, and rendered firmer than ever. 
 
 We cannot help feeling the greatest love and respect for 
 the Blessed Virgin Mary ; and being sure that her prayers 
 must be far more acceptable than ours, we daily ask her 
 intercession with our Lord at this time (as we ask the prayers 
 of our earthly friends) that we may be delivered from our 
 present trying situation. If we were on our deathbeds to- 
 morrow, all our cry would be to see a Catholic priest, and 
 that we might be received into the Church, in order to receive
 
 106 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 the benefit of the last sacraments and the prayers of the 
 Church for the rest of our souls. 
 
 Having been always instructed in religion by Mama, and 
 holding in all respects the same faith as she does, is it not 
 more natural that we should wish to remain under her 
 instruction rather than under that of Papa, whose faith is so 
 entirely opposed to our own, as he constantly affirms that 
 he considers the Presbyterian the best form of religion, while 
 u>e in all things hold the Catholic faithl Should he be 
 disposed to listen to our earnest supplications, we can only 
 assure him of greater love and gratitude than any other gift 
 or indulgence could call forth. 
 
 MARY MARGARET LESLIE. 
 
 CHARLOTTE GUMMING LESLIE. 
 
 After reading the above uncompromising 
 confession of faith, Bishop Terrot recommended 
 that the two girls should be dealt with by the 
 Rev. Mr. Salter of St. George's and the Rev. 
 Mr. Alexander of St. Columba's, whose High 
 Church principles were more likely to com- 
 mend themselves to those leaning towards 
 Rome. But Mr. Leslie was firm, insisting 
 that as his girls had been confirmed by Dr. 
 Terrot, he was the proper person to reason 
 with them. A day was therefore fixed, and 
 the interview took place. 
 
 The bishop's advice was that they should 
 " search the Scriptures," and that by so doing 
 they would be led into all truth. Charlotte 
 quietly remarked that they could not be 
 expected to decide on the explanation of 
 certain texts which were disputed by the 
 most learned men among Protestants, and
 
 REUNION. 107 
 
 that even the bishop himself and several of 
 his clergy would give different explanations 
 of the words "This is my Body," and of 
 many other passages in Scripture. The 
 bishop was unwilling to continue the dis- 
 cussion, and repeated his injunction to " read 
 and pray." 
 
 The children's next interview was with 
 Mr. Suther, and this took place on the feast 
 of the Conversion of St. Paul, in the little 
 vestry at St. George's, after the morning 
 service. It was the last time that Mary and 
 Charlotte went to the Anglican service, and 
 on this occasion they occupied themselves 
 with reciting the Rosary instead of following 
 the Protestant prayers. When the Congrega- 
 tion had dispersed, the clerk conducted the 
 party to the vestry, where Mr. Su'ther re- 
 ceived them in all the borrowed dignity of 
 surplice and hood. He took an entirely 
 different line from the bishop, insisted on 
 the duty of loyalty to the Church of one's 
 baptism, and declared that the Anglican 
 Church possessed all means of grace as fully 
 as the Romish Communion, and was in fact 
 the same thing, excepting the supremacy of 
 the Pope, which he sneeringly said, he sup- 
 posed could be dispensed with. 
 
 Mary replied, "We will listen to any- 
 thing you say to us if you promise that the
 
 ,o8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 other clergymen of your Church will say the 
 same thing." 
 
 He then declared that St. Cyprian had 
 denied the supremacy of the Pope and had 
 written : "The other apostles were vested 
 like Peter with an equal participation of 
 honour and power." Here he stopped, and 
 Charlotte, who had seen the context in the 
 book " An Irish Gentleman in Search of 
 a Religion," and had committed it to memory, 
 completed the sentence from St. Cyprian : 
 " But the beginning is built on Unity, and 
 therefore St. Peter was made the head of the 
 others, to secure unity." 
 
 Mr. Suther owned that this was substan- 
 tially correct, and added, " St. Cyprian even 
 said something still stronger elsewhere ; but 
 I have not studied the Fathers much lately, 
 I must confess." He then urged the children 
 to receive communion again in his church. 
 This they positively refused to do, and 
 becoming more and more embarrassed, he got 
 into fresh difficulties at each step. 
 
 " If the Pope is not head of the Church, 
 do you acknowledge the Queen as such?" 
 asked one of the children. 
 
 "Certainly not," replied Mr. Suther. 
 
 " Who is then the head of your Church ? 
 Is it the Archbishop of Canterbury?" 
 
 Mr. Suther supposed it might be he. His
 
 REUNION. 109 
 
 parting words were said with an air of real 
 distress : " I hope you will stay with us, 
 
 because " The conclusion never came, 
 
 and so they went away. Mr. Leslie, in spite 
 of the signal defeat of the disputants on his 
 side, could not disguise his pride in the 
 intelligence of his children, and described 
 the visit afterwards with a humorous ap- 
 preciation of the scene that was extremely 
 amusing. 
 
 After the above proof of the strength of 
 the enemy, Mr. Alexander elected to call and 
 see Mrs Leslie in preference to interrogating 
 her daughters. His arguments, which of 
 course ended in nothing, consisted mainly of 
 reproaches for having abandoned the Church 
 of her baptism. 
 
 " If," answered Mrs. Leslie, " my baptism 
 as a child was valid, I was by that fact ad- 
 mitted into the Catholic Church, as there is 
 but l one faith, one Lord, one baptism' Hence 
 she is my true Mother. I have been in the 
 position of a child that has been changed at 
 nurse ; and by circumstances beyond my con- 
 trol I have been brought up in estrangement 
 from my Mother. When once I recognized 
 this and found out where she was, could I do 
 otherwise than return to her?" 
 
 Mr. Alexander declined to argue with the 
 children, and took his leave. Here the matter
 
 110 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 seemed likely to end, for Mr. Leslie still with- 
 held his consent to their reception into the 
 Church. 
 
 Bishop Gillis then wrote out the following 
 instructions for their conduct : 
 
 Let the two children cast themselves at their father's feet, 
 and with every affectionate expression of respect and obedience 
 represent to him in the most unequivocal and firm manner that, 
 much as they would grieve to appear even to slight his parental 
 authority, they cannot in the present instance abstain from 
 declaring to him the utter impossibility for them to receive Com- 
 munion in the Church of England without feeling themselves 
 chargeable before God, and on evidence of their own conscience, 
 of an act of gross hypocrisy. Let them then implore him 
 through the value he sets on their immortal souls, and through 
 his love for them as a parent, not to drive them to say that they 
 feel this to be an occasion in which they are called upon to 
 declare that they must obey God rather than man; but that, 
 taking into consideration their temporal as well as eternal 
 happiness, he will kindly permit them to have the subject re- 
 considered by their father and by themselves, in the presence of 
 the bishop, to whom he has been already so condescending as to 
 listen to on this matter in their presence. That as to their not 
 being fit as yet to judge for themselves, they feel that God may 
 call them out of the world before they are much more so in the 
 eyes of others, and that were such to be the case to-morrow, they 
 cannot help believing as Christians, and feeling as human beings, 
 that they would be considered by the Almighty old enough to be 
 judged, and that they must be judged according to their works 
 and the faithfulness with which they would have followed out 
 their conscientious convictions, however limited the development 
 of their intellectual faculties." 
 
 But before the two girls had time to act 
 on these directions, an unlooked-for inter- 
 vention of Providence made all further per- 
 suasion unnecessary. Mr. Leslie was engaged
 
 REUNION. in 
 
 in some business with a gentleman at Leith, 
 and in returning home on foot one evening 
 in February was knocked down by a cab, the 
 approach of which, as he was partially deaf, 
 he did not hear. Escaping without injury 
 beyond a slight shock to his nerves, he said 
 nothing of what had happened until Mrs. 
 Leslie, noticing that night that he was not 
 sleeping as usual, asked if he were unwell. He 
 then told her of the accident, and said that he 
 thought his life had been spared in order that 
 he might offer his children to God. He with- 
 drew his opposition, and the next day went to 
 Dalkeith to consult Mr. Robertson as to the 
 steps to be taken. Mr. Robertson advised 
 him to allow the two children to enter the 
 Catholic Church at once ; and when their 
 father returned, and told them that such was 
 his decision, their joy knew no bounds. 
 
 Eleanor was then staying with Sir Ord 
 and Lady Honyman, and they were taking 
 her with their own daughter to one of the 
 Edinburgh Assemblies that evening. Mr. 
 Leslie had promised to be one of the party. 
 He drove round by Greenhill, and had an 
 interview with Bishop Gillis to inform him of 
 his altered purpose with regard to his two 
 youngest children. The bishop promised to 
 call in Minto Street the next day, to arrange 
 for their immediate reception into the Church.
 
 ii2 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Nothing could have been more satisfactory 
 than this interview ; but to provide against the 
 possibility of Dr. Gillis being absent when 
 her husband called, Mrs. Leslie had written 
 the following letter, which he took with him : 
 
 MY DEAR LORD, Mr. Leslie hopes to see you himself 
 this evening. In case he should be disappointed, he requests 
 me to say that he commits his beloved girls May and Chattie 
 to your care, desirous at once to do so as a thank-offering to 
 Almighty God for His most providential care of him last night 
 when his life was in imminent peril, and as the best atonement 
 he can make to yourself for his unkind misconstruction of your 
 advice. I did not see Mr. Alexander this morning, as he had 
 already left his chapel, but I have written him a careful and 
 polite note this evening. My dear girls desire more love and 
 thanks than this note will carry, and with our kindest regards 
 to Miss Maxwell,* believe me, my dear Lord, your very 
 grateful and obedient servant, ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 1 6 Minto Street, Edinburgh, February 4, 1847. 
 
 No further time was lost. It was arranged 
 that the two girls were to go to Greenhill 
 on Saturday, the 6th, to make their general 
 confessions, and that they should receive 
 conditional baptism, holy communion, and 
 confirmation the next day, which was Sexa- 
 gesima Sunday. 
 
 They were left in the dining-room at 
 Greenhill to prepare for confession. Pre- 
 sently the bishop opened the door and asked 
 them if they were ready. Charlotte was 
 nearest to the door and answered in her 
 
 * A lady who lived at Greenhill, and kept house for the Bishop.
 
 REUNION. 113 
 
 downright way : "I'm as ready as I shall 
 ever be/' and he took her to the chapel. 
 They were thus at last at the goal of all 
 their desires, and who shall describe the 
 touching scene as they knelt during Mass 
 and communion the following morning be- 
 side their happy mother? With them were 
 confirmed Mrs. Leslie, and a Mrs. Henshaw 
 Jones, a recent convert and a real confessor 
 of the faith. She was the wife of a Pro- 
 testant clergyman, and for a time suffered 
 much on account of her religion. Then she 
 was left a widow, and was able to lead a 
 peaceful and useful life.* 
 
 On the evening of the day on which his 
 daughters were received into the Church, Mr. 
 Leslie dined at Sir Ord Honyman's, and was 
 as usual cheered and encouraged by his old 
 friend's kindness and sterling good sense. 
 "Be a man, Archie," said his host, "and show 
 the world that you can live as happily with 
 your wife and children now, as you have 
 always done hitherto." The advice, however 
 well-meant, was scarcely necessary, for 
 nothing could exceed the generosity with 
 
 * One evening at her house, Russell, editor of the Scotsman, 
 and Dr. Shain, Archbishop of Edinburgh, were playing cards 
 together, and the game ended by the archbishop winning one 
 penny. Russell said: "Now that penny will be spent on some 
 vile superstition." "Yes," replied the archbishop, "I will buy 
 a Scotsman with it." 
 
 I
 
 n 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 which Mr. Leslie had made his sacrifice. On 
 that very morning, when he had heard his wife 
 and children going out, he had left his room 
 and with touching tenderness embraced them, 
 begging that their affection for him might 
 suffer no change or diminution by their 
 change of religion. They had assured him 
 that on the contrary it would only be in- 
 creased, and that they would be more dutiful 
 and loving to him than ever. He was indeed 
 a most affectionate father, excellent in all the 
 relations of life, a loyal friend, beloved and 
 esteemed by all who knew him. 
 
 Since the reverses of 1843, the Leslies had 
 never had a settled home, but had lived in 
 furnished houses and lodgings when not 
 paying visits to their many friends and rela- 
 tions. This was inconvenient in many ways, 
 and in the spring of 1847 they looked out for 
 an unfurnished house, and finally settled to 
 take No. 2 Fingal Place, on the south side of 
 the Meadows. For the Catholics of the 
 family its nearness to St. Margaret's Convent 
 and to Bishop Gillis was an attraction, and 
 for all, the position and the beauty of the 
 views were a recommendation. Mrs. Leslie 
 had a talent for making her surroundings 
 pleasant and homelike wherever they might 
 be; but now she could at last have her own 
 furniture as far as it sufficed, and choose what
 
 REUNION. 115 
 
 was necessary over and above. They took 
 possession of their new abode with great 
 thankfulness, the young members of the family 
 rejoicing to have at last a home bearing some 
 resemblance to that of their childhood. If 
 Minto Street left many happy souvenirs, 
 Fingal Place was to perpetuate and intensify 
 their gratitude. 
 
 In the holidays came Mrs. Leslie's son. 
 After shooting with his uncle, and taking a 
 walking tour in the Highlands, books came 
 in for a share of his attention. He had 
 already seen Milner's "End of Controversy" 
 on one of his former visits to Edinburgh, and 
 had devoured it, thinking at first that it was 
 a Protestant book and would show that one 
 religion was as good as another. When he 
 had returned to Oxford he tried to get a copy 
 of it, but failed. Burgon of Oriel told him 
 that it was "an unknown book." On this 
 occasion Mrs. Leslie would answer any 
 objections which he made to the Catholic 
 religion. She gave him Bossuet's " Exposi- 
 tion de la doctrine de I'^lglise Catholique," 
 Fenelon's "Letters to a Protestant Gentle- 
 man," and Butler's " Lives of the Saints." 
 These books had a great effect in showing 
 forth a high Christian standard which had 
 no counterpart in Anglicanism. He was sick 
 of controversy and wanted to have done with
 
 n6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 it, and was disgusted with the divisions in 
 the Church of England. At Oxford High 
 Churchmen used to meet on Tuesday evenings 
 at Oriel; and, as young Leslie had many 
 friends among them, he was invited. It was 
 thought a great privilege that any one not a 
 University man should be admitted to this 
 select circle. But in spite of some attractions 
 he was repelled by the disputes, the sneering 
 tone adopted towards Low Churchmen, and 
 by the simpering style which, to him, savoured 
 of anything but religion. He went to the 
 priest at Oxford, a gentle, simple old man, 
 who, when he heard the name of his visitor, 
 told him that that mission had been founded 
 by a Father Leslie.* But his conversion was 
 not yet. The branch theory of Anglicanism 
 was then sprung upon him, and several Fellows 
 of Oriel, learned men, among whom were 
 Burgon and Charles Marriot, gave him to 
 understand that if he read the Fathers he 
 would see that the Church of Rome had gone 
 wrong, and that the Church of England was like 
 that of early Christianity. Upon this came Mr. 
 Allies' book, "The Church of England cleared 
 from the charge of Schism," which deterred 
 
 *One of the Leslies of Fetternear. This branch of the 
 family had always remained Catholic. Several of them had been 
 members of the Society of Jesus, and notably the founder of the 
 Oxford Mission, who had settled there during the suppression 
 of the Society.
 
 REUNION. 117 
 
 a good many people at that time from swelling 
 the number of " Rome's Recruits." With these 
 counter-influences at work, it was natural for 
 a sensitive conscience to become persuaded 
 that "loyalty to the Church of one's baptism," 
 a cant phrase which misled many about that 
 time, was the first of virtues, and that to seek 
 communion with the parent stem was to be 
 unfaithful to the branch. Young Leslie deter- 
 mined, therefore, to avail himself of every 
 means of grace the Church of England 
 offered, going to daily prayers and to Com- 
 munion every week, for which he prepared 
 himself carefully by reading through the whole 
 fourth book of the " Imitation." 
 
 He was scrupulously exact about his debts, 
 and having owed a few pounds to his tailor 
 for two or three terms, although the man did 
 not press for his money, was in doubt whether 
 he ought to write home about it. Feeling at 
 last very uncomfortable, he applied to Eden, 
 Fellow of Oriel, to hear his confession. Eden 
 referred him to Rew, of St. John's, the clergy- 
 man of his parish. Mr. Leslie accordingly 
 sent Eden's letter on to Rew, who answered 
 that he might come to him the next morning. 
 When his penitent appeared, Mr. Rew, look- 
 ing very wretched and as if he had not long 
 been out of bed, placed a chair for him and 
 listened with a deprecating air while the
 
 n8 ELEANOR LESLIE, 
 
 young man told him the cause of his troubled 
 conscience. He at once generously offered to 
 lend him any money that was required to pay 
 the tailor without enquiring about the amount 
 needed. " No/' replied Leslie, " that would 
 never do ; but must I tell my father ? " 
 "Yes," that was inevitable, and being too 
 late for breakfast at the surveyor's, Mr. Leslie 
 turned into Christchurch Walk, where he pre- 
 sently became very contrite and very hungry. 
 It occurred to him to go to breakfast with 
 Ffoulkes, of Jesus College, and as he walked 
 in there was a shout from the party assembled 
 which took away his appetite. 
 
 " Why, Leslie, you are eating nothing ! " 
 exclaimed Ffoulkes. "Don't you know," said 
 Dean,* "he is the most mortified man in 
 Oxford? never takes anything for breakfast 
 but a sheet of note paper and a glass of water." 
 
 Then to his horror in came Rew. They 
 exchanged a few words, and Leslie got away 
 as soon as possible. 
 
 When he had made a clean breast of his 
 debt to his father and had got a reply, he sent 
 to ask Mr. Rew if he might come to him for 
 absolution. Rew answered that he might 
 safely apply it to himself when it was read 
 out in church. 
 
 * Fellow of All Souls and vicar of Lewknor. He became 
 a Catholic later on.
 
 REUNION. 119 
 
 Although put back by the branch theory, 
 he never altogether dropped Mr. Newsham, 
 the good Catholic priest on whom he had 
 once called, and driving one summer's evening 
 in a small trap with his friend Dean, saw him 
 looking very poor and shabby, and took off 
 his hat as they passed. Dean did the same, 
 and Leslie asked him if he knew to whom he 
 had bowed. 
 
 " Not in the least," answered the other ; 
 and when his friend told him that the shabby 
 stranger was a Catholic priest he became 
 alarmed for Mr. Leslie's Anglicanism. 
 
 The time was indeed approaching when 
 the object of so many fervent prayers could 
 no longer content himself with a system of 
 compromise and shallow theories. Having 
 completed his time with the Oxford surveyor 
 he returned to Edinburgh. He tried to ex- 
 plain the branch theory to his mother and 
 sisters, and, hoping to convince them of the 
 truth of it, he told them of his intense sensible 
 devotion in receiving Holy Communion. But 
 when they asked him what he believed that 
 he received, although he felt a great deal at 
 the moment of Communion he could explain 
 nothing. He read Newman's " Essay on 
 Development," and one day as he was walking 
 near the Grass Market he began to think 
 over his Oxford friend's advice to read the
 
 i2o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Fathers. He went to the Advocates' Library 
 and set about studying, but soon found out 
 that reading the Fathers would be a long and, 
 to him, an impossible undertaking. Then the 
 thought struck him that our Lord gave a 
 religion to poor, unlettered, though, of course, 
 reasonable people, and that if, say, a pagan 
 carpenter wanted to know something about 
 the true religion it would be absurd to tell 
 him to read the Fathers. He might very 
 well protest that what he required was a plain 
 and simple explanation, fit for the ignorant 
 and for those who had no time to spend in 
 diving into huge tomes, or wit to weigh 
 subtleties and to pronounce on questions in- 
 tended only for theologians. The carpenter 
 would say, " If you had good, plain reasons 
 suitable for me you would not tell me to read 
 the Fathers." 
 
 The young man then reflected as to what 
 he would say if such an unlearned pagan 
 came to him for instruction. First he would 
 ask him whether he believed that our Lord 
 Jesus Christ was God. If he got an answer 
 in the affirmative, he would then ask, "Did 
 not Jesus Christ give us a religion and 
 promise that this religion should not go 
 wrong?" The conclusion was evident, and 
 reasoning thus he overcame the difficulties 
 raised by his learned friends, and on Sep-
 
 REUNION. 121 
 
 tember 8, 1848, was received into the Catholic 
 Church at St. Margaret's. It is almost super- 
 fluous to add that Mrs. Leslie looked on this 
 as one of the happiest days of her life. 
 
 Her daughter Eleanor was meanwhile be- 
 coming softened towards the Catholic mem- 
 bers of her family, and would sometimes do 
 little acts of kindness which were keenly 
 appreciated. One cold morning, knowing that 
 her mother was going out early, she got up 
 and had a cup of coffee ready for her when 
 she came downstairs. But Mrs. Leslie was 
 going to receive Holy Communion and could 
 not therefore accept the graceful offering ; but 
 it pained her to refuse the first act of kind- 
 ness she had received from her eldest 
 daughter for a long time, the girl not under- 
 standing why. In other respects Eleanor had 
 many of the charming qualities which en- 
 deared the other members of the family to 
 all who came in close contact with them. 
 She shared their intense love for the poor and 
 would spare no pains or self-denial to help 
 those in distress. A pretty example of this 
 was her self-imposed study of a method of 
 reading for the blind, in the hope of teaching 
 an old man who, but for Mr. Atlee's timely 
 intervention, would have fallen over the cliff 
 at Brighton. Eleanor succeeded in mastering 
 the system while still in her 'teens and in
 
 122 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 communicating it to her aged pupil, who wept 
 for joy the first time that he could read a few 
 words from the Gospels for himself. His 
 daughter's sight was also failing, and Miss 
 Leslie did not rest until she too had learned 
 the art that was to be a consolation in the 
 dark days to come. She was not rich enough 
 to pay the debt which was a crushing weight 
 on the minds of the blind man and his 
 daughter, but she interested her friends in 
 their behalf and, helped by her grandfather 
 and others, she was able at last to take the 
 required sum to her proteges. 
 
 By degrees she was led to take an interest 
 in the numerous charities in which her mother 
 and sisters were engaged, and was thus drawn 
 into intercourse with Catholics outside her own 
 family. A visit to the Monteiths of Carstairs, 
 who had recently been converted to Catholi- 
 cism, also helped to dispel prejudices and to 
 prepare her mind for the reception of the 
 truth. She had some interviews with Pro- 
 testant clergymen either to satisfy her doubts 
 or to content relations and friends who would 
 in the sequel have blamed her doubly had she 
 not done so. One of these divines, the Rev. 
 Berkeley Addison, so completely lost his self- 
 control in an argument that he ended it by 
 kicking a hassock across the drawing-room. 
 
 Unknown to every one she at last applied
 
 REUNION, 123 
 
 to the Rev. James Monaghan for religious in- 
 struction, and it was not till she was ready to 
 be received into the Church that she told her 
 mother of what had been passing in her mind. 
 Mrs. Leslie, totally unprepared for so speedy 
 a grace, could at first scarcely believe it to be 
 true ; but this too was granted, and on the 
 feast of St. Joseph, 1850, Eleanor Leslie made 
 her abjuration, and Father Monaghan received 
 her into the Church. 
 
 There now remained of the whole family 
 only Mr. Leslie's conversion to be prayed for. 
 
 For the last sixteen years he had suffered 
 from partial softening of the brain, a condition 
 which, although painful in the loss of memory 
 it entailed, and on account of the occasional 
 confusion of his ideas, yet left him at other 
 times perfectly clear-minded and alive to all 
 that was going on around him. A few ex- 
 tracts from the diary which he kept during 
 the last year of his life, and which Mrs. 
 Leslie transcribed into her notes of the year 
 1851, will show better than any explanation 
 that her husband's conversion was no mere 
 half-conscious act of a worn-out and dying 
 man, but was the culmination of a conviction 
 that had been steadily growing for some time. 
 
 Sunday, February //. Stormy day with high wind. I find 
 that Eleanor, who has been keeping me back, has joined, or 
 is preparing to be received into the R. C. Church. This being
 
 I24 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 the case, I see no cause to hinder me from at least inquiring 
 into its doctrines, which, if I find as represented to me, there 
 is no impediment to my embracing them, althtf late very late. 
 
 February 18. Health belter. Still valiant about my pro- 
 posed change, altho' I see I have much to do and to learn ; but 
 thanks to God I have nothing else to do or to learn, and every- 
 body kind and encouraging. 
 
 Sunday, 24.. Suther's (church). Perhaps for the last time. 
 
 25. Had a conversation this morning with wifie, who has 
 thrown a wet blanket upon me in respect to my wished-for 
 change ! ! ! Ann Shaw still with us for three or four days. Hope 
 she will stay longer and help to convert me. 
 
 Sunday, March 10. Suther's, who seemed to preach at me 
 all the time he was delivering his sermon. 
 
 Tuesday, March 12. A strong determination has again come 
 over me that I am called upon to become a Roman. May God 
 help me to keep firm and steadfast in my determination. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie in her touching account of the 
 conversion and death of her beloved husband 
 says : 
 
 His fervent, honest prayer was heard. Without even consult- 
 ing with me (since fearing the respect he had formerly shown to 
 his Protestant friends, and thinking him incapable of forming an 
 act of judgment on so momentous a subject, I had refrained from 
 urging him to do anything hastily) he from time to time sought 
 out Mr. O'Donnell, walked and talked with him, and at last, on 
 Tuesday, July 16, met him by appointment at St. Margaret's and 
 went to the sacrament of penance. He remained in the chapel 
 for some short time afterwards, engaged in prayer and much 
 affected. From that day he was settled and tranquil, never 
 returned to a Protestant chapel, nor did he ever join in making 
 an unkind remark against Catholics, which from the imperfect 
 state of his memory and the force of early prejudice was to me 
 most surprising. Without much controversial reading he always
 
 REUNION. 125 
 
 appeared struck with the force of Catholic reasoning, and was 
 ever ready to use my books of devotion or hear me read from 
 them. Although unfit to attempt theological study, he was 
 capable of judging whether our religion was a source of happiness 
 to us, whether its effects were those of happiness upon himself. 
 He was also in a position to judge whether our profession and 
 practice were consistent, and of the soundness of the tree by its 
 fruits. He was also aware from daily personal experience that 
 Catholics neither thought nor did the many foolish things im- 
 puted to them, and that, in truth, the Catholic standard was so 
 high and holy that in his simplicity and humility he often ex- 
 pressed a fear that he should not make "a good Roman." During 
 the Jubilee he would gladly have attended the lectures at 
 St. Patrick's, but I feared the crowd would be too great both for 
 him and myself. On the feast of the Immaculate Conception, 
 Sunday, December 8, and the following Sunday we went to 
 St. Mary's and heard Father Cooke preach, first, on the claims 
 of the Blessed Virgin to our love and veneration, and, secondly, 
 on the love of God. He liked both discourses very much and was 
 quite overcome by the latter, so that whilst he listened with the 
 most profound attention, the tears rolled in streams down his face. 
 
 Mr. Leslie's children supplement some 
 interesting details of this truly wonderful con- 
 version. Both Mary and Charlotte had, 
 unknown to each other and of course un- 
 known to him, begun a novena for the con- 
 version of their father, to end on the feast of 
 our Lady of Mount Carmel. Every day 
 during the novena he went to the Reverend 
 Mr. O'Donnell's house. Mr. O'Donnell was 
 puzzled, and on the eighth day, though he 
 too knew nothing about the novena, said to Mr. 
 Leslie : " Sir, if you will come to the sacristy of 
 St. Margaret's at nine o'clock to-morrow morn- 
 ing, I will receive you into the Church."
 
 126 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 He said this to satisfy him, but thought 
 that it would be impossible for him to carry 
 out the instructions, knowing the utter failure 
 of his memory. Another difficulty, of which 
 the priest was unaware, was that Mr. Leslie 
 never finished dressing till about two o'clock, 
 when he generally went out. But to Mrs. 
 Leslie's surprise and alarm, the next morning 
 he got up early, dressed and went out with- 
 out saying where he was going. He went 
 straight to his appointment, and when he had 
 made his abjuration, Mr. O'Donnell took him 
 into the chapel and fetched his daughter 
 Charlotte, who was then at school at St. 
 Margaret's. She found him in tears, but very 
 happy and peaceful, and said some prayers 
 with him. 
 
 All that day his memory was perfectly 
 clear, and when later on several of his old 
 friends called to see him he would say, " I am 
 a Roman," and look amused at their surprise. 
 
 For the remainder of his life the one thing 
 he remembered was that he was a Catholic, 
 with all the concomitant circumstances. Mrs. 
 Leslie thus continued her narrative : 
 
 December and January passed very happily and health- 
 fully. On February 4 he was taken ill; I little thought how 
 ill. Still our devotions in private went on as usual, for he 
 was ever ready to attend to the voice of prayer and praise ; 
 and the last night that circumstances permitted me to stay 
 by his side, in the most silent hours he asked me again and
 
 REUNION. 127 
 
 again to repeat that beautiful Psalm, "The Lord is my 
 Shepherd." Once I added the " Te Deum," to which he also 
 attended. A few days after he bade me send for a priest. I 
 asked, "Which?" and he replied, "All six," showing his 
 clear recollection of their number. In consequence of a letter 
 from one of my Protestant sisters I asked him one morning 
 when he seemed better whether he would like to see a Pro- 
 testant clergyman. He said decidedly, "No." I then in- 
 quired if he would see Mr. O'Donnell, and he said, "Yes." 
 He never wavered, and after the second and third stroke of 
 paralysis, though almost inarticulate, the evidences he gave 
 of a firm, humble faith, calm submission to his severe suffer- 
 ings, fervent contrition and patient thankfulness were indicated 
 in ways equally unmistakable and satisfactory to all around 
 his dying bed. He kissed my little crucifix affectionately 
 about three hours before he died. His last word was 
 " Hope," his last look expressive of love. There was no 
 struggle, and a calm, sweet smile immediately settled on his 
 lips. His whole appearance in death was most amiable, 
 dignified and peaceful, inviting us again and again to con- 
 template his dear countenance and beautiful hands whilst we 
 gathered round his coffin to offer our prayers for the repose 
 of his soul. 
 
 The last night but one before his death, Mr. 
 Leslie, seeing one of his daughters sitting by his 
 bed, bade her come close to him, and although 
 his articulation was difficult, said quite dis- 
 tinctly : " Do be good to your mother when 
 I'm gone. No words could ever tell all she 
 has been to me through our whole married 
 life. It would be impossible to be a better 
 wife than she has been. Promise me to be a 
 comfort to her." He continued thus to speak 
 in her praise as long as his failing breath 
 permitted.
 
 128 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 VOCATIONS. 
 
 EVENTS have been somewhat anticipated in 
 order to bring into focus the different ways 
 in which the various members of Mrs. Leslie's 
 family were led into the Church. We must 
 now return to the year 1848, when her son, 
 having become a Catholic, was considering his 
 next step. But while serious thoughts of the 
 future occupied his mind, the present moment 
 was not without charm. Apart from the 
 happiness of belonging to the one true Church 
 and the pleasure caused by the ever freshly 
 unfolding beauties of the faith blessings which 
 the new converts enjoyed with all the zest 
 and relish of minds more than commonly 
 sensitive to every form of beauty there was 
 the satisfaction of welcoming many old friends 
 to share with them the treasures of the 
 Catholic religion. Then there were new 
 friends to be made and new experiences to 
 learn; and although their conversion had 
 estranged some of their relations, others were 
 staunch and loyal. Mr. Cosmo Innes, the 
 historian, a distant cousin, interested himself 
 in young Mr. Leslie's future career and even
 
 VOCATIONS. 129 
 
 encouraged him to cultivate his taste for art. 
 He induced him to draw and lithograph 
 Runic stones for a work on the subject, and, 
 had the young man chosen to pursue that or 
 any branch of draughtsmanship, would have 
 helped him with his advice and influence. 
 He had strong Catholic tendencies, and his 
 daughter, Mrs. Hill Barton, subsequently be- 
 came a Catholic. Nothing ever alienated old 
 Lady Caithness from any member of the 
 Leslie family, and beyond her usual "Gude 
 be here ! " when she heard of the conversion 
 of yet another Leslie, it made no difference 
 between them. She lived in a kind of faded 
 splendour, surrounded by a state and circum- 
 stance impervious to change, and her kind 
 heart always kept a warm welcome for her 
 young relatives whenever they came to see 
 her. Her eccentricities were those of an age 
 long since passed away. The family doctor 
 called on her every morning to inquire about 
 her health, and entered the drawing-room 
 making so profound a bow at every few steps 
 that he might have been attending a court 
 ceremony. She was a great stickler for all 
 that concerned her rank and position, and 
 knew every ramification of the family history 
 to the remotest branches. One day the young 
 Leslies found her in deep mourning, and, on 
 asking who was dead, were informed that she
 
 1 30 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 wore black for the Duchess of Portland. But 
 the relationship was so distant that they 
 had never even heard of it. On the other 
 hand, the humblest offshoot of the genea- 
 logical tree obtained the same recognition, 
 and when a sergeant in Edinburgh Castle who 
 claimed relationship with the Sinclairs died, 
 the old lady would have been glad if her 
 great-nephew had gone to his funeral. Some- 
 times her idiosyncrasies were grotesque. One 
 afternoon Eleanor and her brother were over- 
 taken by a heavy shower and went for shelter 
 to their great-aunt's, knowing that she would 
 be out driving. They were, however, caught 
 before the shower was over, and Lady 
 Caithness insisted on their remaining to 
 dinner. There was no help for Eleanor, but 
 her brother, who knew that if dinner had been 
 announced while he was there he would have 
 been walked down, managed to make his 
 escape, promising to call for her later in the 
 evening. As soon as he had gone, the old 
 lady, feeling her blind brother's watch, began 
 to walk up and down, saying it was "verra 
 strange sax o'clock and nae dinner." 
 
 "It's nae struck sax, my leddie," remon- 
 strated her companion, Miss Willie Sinclair. 
 Lady Caithness then cleared her throat in the 
 customary way, betokening wrath, making a 
 sound that was something between a mild
 
 VOCATIONS. 131 
 
 grunt and a mild scream ; but when she had 
 repeated several times : " Sax o'clock and nae 
 dinner/' Miss Sinclair in desperation, for she 
 always defended the servants, said with great 
 decision : " It's nae struck sax, my leddie, and 
 that's a fac ! " 
 
 At last they went down to dinner, and the 
 old lady, who seemed to wish to impress 
 Eleanor with the greatness of the banquet, that 
 she might let her brother know what he had 
 lost, turned to the butler, after the soup, and 
 with her most majestic air said, " Bring up the 
 pie," as if it had been a boar's head, or at 
 least a haunch of venison. A pie was accord- 
 ingly put before her, but it looked as if it 
 had been doing duty for six months, and as 
 she plunged the knife into it the servant 
 looked anxiously over her shoulder as if he 
 expected worms to come out of it.* The 
 rest of the dinner was in the same style, 
 ceremonious but unattractive. 
 
 While in Fingal Place the lines appeared 
 to have fallen in pleasant places, the time was 
 rapidly approaching when Mrs. Leslie was 
 called upon to endure the "^sharpest pang 
 she had ever yet experienced ; and from that 
 moment, at shorter or longer intervals, one 
 sacrifice after another was required of her, till 
 
 * Eleanor's version no doubt somewhat coloured.
 
 1 3 2 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 at last she might well have said that she had 
 nothing left to give. 
 
 But she had, if the expression may be 
 allowed, a rare supernatural aptitude for 
 suffering, which not only prepared her at all 
 times for whatever God should send, but 
 enabled her to leap forward as it were and 
 welcome trials as if they had been joys in 
 disguise. One illustration will suffice to show 
 with what readiness she was prepared to 
 embrace the cross at the slightest indication 
 of what appeared to be the divine will, with- 
 out pausing to consider whether the matter 
 were really an obligation or not. Her love 
 for her children has been called " excessive," * 
 and there is no doubt that all that concerned 
 them touched her to the quick ; but she 
 never hesitated whenever it seemed as if God 
 might be asking her to give them up. Her 
 Catholic sister, Madame de Pambour, had been 
 staying with her on a visit, and just before 
 her departure proposed to take her youngest 
 niece Charlotte back with her to France, 
 wishing for her as a companion to her only 
 daughter. Although the pain of the separa- 
 
 * The Rev. H. J. Coleridge, S.J., who loved and reverenced 
 her so much that, before he died, he said that the only persons 
 he very much wished to see again were Cardinal Newman 
 and Mrs. Leslie, once alluded to her "excessive love for 
 her children." He stopped, and then added: "Yes, it is 
 excessive"
 
 VOCATIONS. 
 
 133 
 
 tion would have been acute beyond words, 
 Mrs. Leslie was on the point of consenting, 
 thinking that it might be of some advantage 
 to the child, when her son interfered, ex- 
 claiming : 
 
 " My dear mother, you are so greedy of 
 suffering that the moment it is put before you, 
 you fly at it and lose your judgment." 
 
 "Yes," said her sister, speaking of the 
 matter next day, "that is true; she is greedy 
 of suffering." 
 
 To say therefore that she was ready for 
 all the crosses that might be sent to her is 
 to express but half the truth, for like her 
 favourite saint and patron, Francis Xavier, she 
 could truly say that there was henceforth no 
 cross to her so great as to be without the Cross. 
 
 The first sacrifice required of her was her 
 son's vocation. 
 
 He was not long left in doubt with regard 
 to his future. Belief in our Lord's Real 
 Presence in the Eucharist had been very 
 sincere and fervent even in his Protestant 
 days, but as a Catholic his devotion was 
 deepened and intensified a hundredfold ; and 
 when once he had realized what that devotion 
 meant, he was constantly kneeling before the 
 tabernacle in the chapel of St. Margaret's. 
 
 We needs must love the highest when we see it,
 
 i 34 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 and thus vocation followed quickly on con- 
 version. He spoke one day to Madame de 
 Pambour of his hope of becoming a priest, 
 and her answer is eloquent of the bond that 
 united the whole family in the closest and 
 tenderest love and sympathy. 
 
 "I cannot imagine/' she replied with deep 
 feeling, "how it will ever be possible to 
 break up this happy home." 
 
 But when Bishop Gillis was consulted, he 
 dissuaded him, for he much wanted good 
 Catholic laymen in his diocese. However, he 
 agreed to a retreat, and the young man decided 
 to make it at H odder, the Jesuit novitiate, near 
 Stonyhurst. Whatever there might be decided 
 as to his future course, he was to return to 
 Edinburgh and pay some promised visits with 
 Mrs. Leslie before carrying out any decision. 
 As he walked down the avenue to start for 
 H odder, his father watched him, and with a 
 strong presentiment declared that he would 
 never return. Mrs. Leslie reminded him in 
 vain that the absence was only to be a short 
 one, but she could not convince her husband. 
 However, from H odder, in the midst of the 
 retreat, came the first intimation of what was 
 before them. Not as a secular priest, in 
 which vocation there need be no very sharp 
 line of separation, was their son to be taken 
 from them ; but the offering was to be whole
 
 VOCATIONS. 135 
 
 and entire and his mother was to give him to 
 God as a religious. 
 
 " I feel as if caught in a holy trap," he 
 wrote to her; and soon it was clear to him 
 that his vocation was to the Society of Jesus. 
 But there were difficulties ; so short a time 
 had elapsed since his conversion, and his 
 studies, especially as regarded mathematics 
 to the neglect of classics, had been directed 
 more towards fitting him for the army than 
 for a religious order devoted largely to educa- 
 tion. At H odder he had found his old friend 
 George Bridges, who had just ended his 
 novitiate, and advised him to go to London 
 and see the Provincial of the Jesuits, 
 Father Cobb. The Miss Nutt, already men- 
 tioned in a previous chapter as one of 
 Mr. Leslie's friends had also become a 
 Catholic, with one of her three sisters. They 
 had taken a house in Queen Square, London, 
 where they lived very simply, devoting them- 
 selves and their large income to a life of charity. 
 When they heard of any recent convert to 
 the Catholic religion being, as was not un- 
 common in those days, turned out of house 
 and home for religion's sake, the Misses Nutt 
 would with the utmost simplicity come forward 
 and take the convert in, as if it were a matter 
 of course, and make him one of the family. 
 Mr. Harris, whose health had grown still more
 
 I3 6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 feeble as years went on, lived entirely with 
 them and was cared for in the most devoted, 
 loving manner till he died. 
 
 To them Mr. Leslie went during his short 
 stay in London, and proceeded from their house 
 to interview the Provincial of the Jesuits. 
 Father Cobb handed him over to his prede- 
 cessor, Father Lythgoe, a very remarkable man, 
 who in a few minutes vivisected him with 
 questions, and then uttered the decisive words, 
 "I don't see why you shouldn't try." And 
 so the matter was settled. 
 
 It was the day of the opening of the London 
 Oratory in King William Street, and Newman 
 was to preach. Mr. Leslie went to hear him, 
 and there he saw Miss Gladstone, sister of the 
 famous Prime Minister, who had lately become 
 a Catholic. She invited him to dinner but he 
 declined, thinking that it would be worldly to 
 go to dinner-parties just as he was leaving 
 the world. He did not even venture to return 
 to Edinburgh and pay the proposed visits, 
 dreading the ordeal of again leaving the 
 beloved home, to him a heaven on earth, with 
 the full knowledge that it was for ever. He 
 therefore went straight back to H odder and 
 entered the noviceship. 
 
 It was perhaps the least painful way of sever- 
 ing ties that were as tender as they were sacred, 
 but to Mrs. Leslie the suffering was intense.
 
 VOCATIONS. 137 
 
 " If I could but see him once again ! " was 
 the continued cry of her heart, as the tears 
 streamed down her face. 
 
 But a meeting between the mother and son 
 would not have been encouraged during the 
 first months of the novitiate for obvious 
 reasons, and when her kind friend the Rev. 
 Mr. O'Donnell offered to go himself to Hodder, 
 she accepted gratefully. He brought back a 
 report that softened and alleviated the pain, 
 although the wound was to bleed for many 
 a long day. 
 
 In the course of the year 1851 it was 
 arranged that Mrs. Leslie should make a 
 retreat at Hodder under her son's Novice- 
 master, the Rev. Father Clarke, staying for eight 
 days at the small inn at Hurst Green, the 
 nearest village. 
 
 By an accident, she arrived on a Saturday 
 evening, too late for her son to welcome or 
 even to see her that night. The people at 
 the inn told her that if she waited at the 
 church door the next morning she would see 
 him as the novices filed in to assist at High 
 Mass. She did so, but although their eyes met, 
 she quickly understood that it would be im- 
 possible to exchange a word with him then. 
 The novices were forbidden to speak between 
 leaving the noviceship and returning to it, 
 and in his excess of zeal for obedience, he had
 
 138 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 not considered that such an occasion would 
 certainly form an exemption from the rule. They 
 were however soon rewarded by a message 
 from the guest-master at Stonyhurst to Father 
 Clarke, asking him to send Mr. Leslie at once 
 to see his mother, and give him a special 
 injunction to be affectionate. 
 
 This was Mrs. Leslie's first visit to Stony- 
 hurst, but by no means the last, and the 
 friendships then made there were lifelong. In 
 speaking of this retreat Father Clarke said, 
 " She went through it like a formed man," 
 meaning a formed Jesuit ; and the guest- 
 master, Father Waterton, half-brother to the 
 celebrated naturalist of that name, declared 
 that "no such lady had been at Stonyhurst 
 for a long time." 
 
 The next meeting between Mrs. Leslie and 
 her son was at his father's death-bed. Hastily 
 the young novice had been summoned, when 
 it became apparent that the sufferer's hours 
 were numbered. Mr. Leslie lay weak but 
 perfectly conscious, with his face turned towards 
 a beautiful print of the Crucifixion, after Albrecht 
 Durer, which hung on the wall opposite his bed, 
 and which his son had long before bought and 
 placed there. As long as he could see, his eyes 
 sought the picture at intervals, and a look of 
 love would steal over his face as he gazed on 
 the tortured form. When Dr. Gillis, seeing
 
 VOCATIONS. 139 
 
 how weak he was, proposed to send him some 
 claret, the dying man said earnestly, looking at 
 the print, "He had no claret." 
 
 All his faculties were clear, and his indi- 
 viduality pathetically unchanged, since the days 
 when he was a notable figure in London society 
 and was the joy of so many devoted friends. 
 Pleased as he was to see his son, he was 
 characteristically distressed at the wear and 
 tear of the novitiate on his outward appearance. 
 
 "Very ungentlemanlike hands," he com- 
 plained, noticing at once the signs of manual 
 labours on hands which had learned among 
 other things to black boots and sweep corridors. 
 We have read in Mrs. Leslie's own words 
 how the devoted wife ministered to her 
 husband's every need till she had folded his 
 beautiful hands in death, and had prayed round 
 his coffin till it was committted to the earth. 
 Like the strong and valiant woman that she 
 was, she did not allow herself to luxuriate 
 one hour in grief, but appeared immediately 
 after the funeral in her widow's cap, and 
 embracing her son, asked him to pray God to 
 bless her widowhood. 
 
 Her duty now lay in doing her utmost for 
 her remaining children, and as it was thought 
 that a short time spent abroad would be 
 advantageous, she took them to Tours, choosing 
 that place as affording objects of interest to
 
 1 40 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 them and as being near her sister Madame de 
 Pambour. While there, they were joined by 
 Mr. Falconer Atlee and his family, and spent 
 some quiet peaceful weeks together with 
 them. 
 
 In days of tranquil reflection especially, 
 Mrs. Leslie braced herself for further stages 
 on the road to perfect self-abnegation and 
 submission to the Divine will. Very early 
 any one who watched her inner life closely 
 must have remarked her conformity to every 
 act of Providence in her regard. To the end 
 of her life this was the dominant note of her 
 spiritual development and progress. A little 
 book in which she wrote some favourite prayers 
 and reflections contains the following beautiful 
 lines composed by St. Alphonsus Liguori, which 
 she had made her own constant aspiration : 
 
 Solo voglio il tuo volere 
 O bel cuor del mio Gesu 
 Sol mi place il tuo piacere 
 Amo sol d'amarti pill. 
 
 An ejaculation of St. Philip Ned's was also 
 a frequent one with her : 
 
 Vi ringrazio o mio Dio 
 Che non vanno le cose 
 A modo mio. 
 
 Besides these she was extremely fond of the 
 prayer of St. Ignatius, " Do with me, O Lord,
 
 VOCATIONS. .41 
 
 as Thou knowest and as Thou wiliest, for I 
 know that Thou lovest me." 
 
 With these desires and intentions in her 
 heart she was extraordinarily calm, equable 
 and brave in times of trial, danger or sorrow, 
 and it was only when uncertain of the direction 
 in which God's will pointed that she hesitated 
 or seemed to vacillate. At these times she 
 would postpone matters, pray anxiously and 
 consult others, but when once she saw clearly 
 she would act promptly, whatever the sacrifice 
 might cost her. Like the Magi of old she 
 could truly say, not only at each solemn crisis 
 of her life, and of the lives of those closely 
 united to her, but on every occasion when an 
 important decision had to be made : " We have 
 seen the Star in the East and have come." 
 
 With such dispositions therefore, it may 
 easily be imagined how she received the new 
 trial that came to her in her daughter Mary's 
 vocation to be a nun. She knew indeed and 
 could appreciate the happiness of religious life, 
 and the blessing of always knowing the Will 
 of God in the voice of superiors, and the 
 following of a holy Rule; yet for all that, or 
 perhaps rather on account of her great faith- 
 fulness to grace, her heart was all the more 
 sensitive and more truly loving than if there 
 had been any selfishness in her maternal 
 affection. The depth and earnestness of her
 
 1 42 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 feeling made the thoughtless congratulations 
 of some converts on her daughter's vocation 
 hard to bear, and she wrote about this time, 
 " Our Lord's ascension into heaven is not 
 counted among 'His Mother's joys, but among 
 her glories" 
 
 It seemed fitting that St. Margaret's Convent 
 which had played so large a part in the conver- 
 sion of every member of Mrs. Leslie's family 
 should claim one of her children for its own, and 
 this beloved daughter was accordingly received 
 there as a postulant on October 15, 1852. 
 
 Warm-hearted Sir Ord Honyman, who 
 associated himself with every possible event 
 in the Leslie family, went to see her at the 
 convent soon after she had entered. As she 
 came into the parlour looking bright and glad 
 to see her old friend, he stretched out his arms, 
 saying, " My dear darling Mary ! " and when 
 the nun who came with her held up her finger, 
 he said, "Why I've had her on my knee since 
 she was a baby ! " 
 
 For many years the health of Mrs. Leslie's 
 youngest daughter was such as to cause grave 
 anxiety, and in the autumn of 1853, a serious 
 chill having greatly increased her delicacy, a 
 milder climate was recommended for the winter. 
 Happily there were no difficulties in the way 
 of carrying out this advice, and Eleanor 
 having recently been married to Mr. Eraser
 
 VOCATIONS. 143 
 
 Gordon, Writer to the Signet and a devout 
 Catholic, Mrs. Leslie was free to devote 
 herself henceforth exclusively to the one child 
 who now needed her care. With no very 
 settled plans she started southwards, en route 
 for Paris and Tours, intending after a visit to 
 Mr. Atlee in the one place, and to Madame 
 de Pambour in the other, to decide on their 
 future movements according to circumstances. 
 It will be remembered that her brother was 
 professedly an infidel, his faith having been 
 undermined when he was still very young. 
 But when Mrs. Leslie met him and her sisters 
 at her father's death-bed, after her conversion, 
 he, feeling for her in the midst of the un- 
 equivocal marks of disapproval in nearly all 
 her family, came to her room one evening to 
 cheer her up, saying : 
 
 " Nellie you must not mind their black looks. 
 I for one think you did perfectly right to become 
 a Catholic. I lived for some time in Switzer- 
 land, alternately in the Protestant and Catholic 
 Cantons, and observed closely the influence 
 of the two religions. And my conclusion was 
 that no other religion than the Catholic can 
 satisfy the wants of the human heart. I wish 
 you could get Emma and the girls to follow 
 your example. Men can do without religion, 
 but it is absolutely necessary for women." 
 
 With the hope therefore that some oppor-
 
 i 4 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 tunity might occur for furthering this object, 
 Mrs. Leslie and her daughter paid Mr. Atlee 
 a visit at his house near the Champs Elysees, 
 and met with the same warm welcome as 
 formerly at Midshields. His eldest son 
 Falconer had already been appointed private 
 secretary to Lord Cowley, the younger, Albert, 
 being still a pupil at some lycee. One of his 
 daughters was married, and two others were 
 growing up at home. It was a very well 
 ordered, happy and most amiable household. 
 Of religion little was apparent except that on 
 Sundays it was considered the proper thing for 
 the ladies at least to attend the chapel at the 
 British Embassy, Falconer being an attache. 
 There was a pleasant absence of prejudice 
 or bigotry among them, and even Mr. Atlee 
 would often take pleasure in visiting hospitals, 
 and in going to churches where grand funeral 
 rites were performed. There were also a few 
 books of a religious character which he some- 
 times looked into. Once, one of his daughters 
 was playing part of Rossini's Stabat Mater, 
 while he followed the words in a Catholic 
 prayer-book. After the verses 
 
 Pro peccatis suae gentis 
 Vidit Jesum in tormentis 
 Et flagellis subditum 
 
 Vidit suum dulcem natum 
 Moriendo desolatum 
 Dum emisit spiritum
 
 VOCATIONS. 145 
 
 he turned to his niece, and with a burst of 
 tears said, " What wonderful words ! " 
 
 His son Albert, too, a frank, open-hearted 
 boy, full of fun and high spirits seemed to be 
 strangely open to Catholic influence, and one 
 day, seeing his aunt and cousin ready to go 
 out, he said, " If you are going to Benediction 
 you will do well to pray for me, because I don't 
 pray much for myself." 
 
 Sometimes the cousins had games and romps 
 together, as in their more childish days at 
 Midshields, and Albert tore Charlotte's dress 
 in the melee more than once. She laughingly 
 told him that he ought to mend it. He agreed, 
 and did it after his own fashion, declaring that 
 now she owed him something for his trouble ; 
 upon which she promised him a present. Her 
 mother took her to Notre Dame des Victoires 
 to get some miraculous medals blessed, and to 
 ask for some Masses. When Albert claimed 
 the promised present, Charlotte gave him a 
 medal, with the request that he would wear 
 it, and he accordingly undertook to do so. 
 His high sense of honour made her hope that 
 he would be as good as his word, and years 
 afterwards she found that she had not been 
 mistaken. But on this occasion the visit 
 ended with no visible progress towards Catho- 
 licity having been made by any member of 
 her uncle's family.
 
 I4 6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 The Chateau de la Filonniere, where Mrs. 
 Leslie's brother-in-law, the Comte de Pambour, 
 lived, was at some distance from Tours, and 
 quite in the country. Madame de Pambour 
 had become a Catholic through the influence 
 of the celebrated Pere de Ravignan, but as 
 she lived far from a church, and could only 
 hear Mass on Sundays, she had few spiritual 
 advantages and looked forward to her sister's 
 visit as a great consolation and help. Her 
 husband, although born a Catholic, had been 
 brought up without any religion, but at the time 
 of his marriage with Miss Harriet Atlee he had 
 approached the Sacraments, perhaps the only 
 time in his life till he was a very old man. 
 Thanks to the many prayers offered in his 
 behalf, he made a good death. He was very 
 clever and agreeable, and took much pleasure 
 in Mrs. Leslie's society. 
 
 At Tours the travellers met some old friends 
 and made new ones. Madame de Bodenham 
 introduced them to the D B s, who, con- 
 verts like themselves, shared their tastes and 
 occupations. Together they worked for poor 
 churches, visited the places of interest in the 
 neighbourhood and laid the foundations of an 
 intimacy that was to be lifelong. 
 
 Charlotte was ordered to spend the winter 
 
 at Pau, and Mrs. D B gave them 
 
 letters of introduction to Mdlle. de Castelbajac
 
 VOCATIONS. 147 
 
 and others likely to render their sojourn 
 agreeable and advantageous. Mdlle. de Castel- 
 bajac gave them a welcome that was duly 
 appreciated after the long journey in a dili- 
 gence over the dreary Landes, and took them 
 to an apartment adjoining her father's house.* 
 There was an immense concourse of strangers 
 at Pau that winter English, Russian, 
 American and French, and in nearly every 
 family there was an invalid. Among those 
 whose acquaintance Mrs. Leslie made were : 
 Lady Acton, who had come with her grand- 
 son, young Throckmorton, dying of con- 
 sumption ; Mrs. Bolton with her daughter and 
 son-in-law, Monsieur d'Abadie and Pere 
 Hermann. All who came in contact with her 
 were attracted by her charm of manner and 
 by the wonderful power of sympathy which 
 made people trust her and count on her in 
 sorrow or in any emergency as if she had 
 been an old friend. 
 
 At Pau she was awakened one night by a 
 pebble being thrown up against her window. 
 On looking out she heard a voice which she 
 recognized as belonging to one of her new 
 acquaintances, saying : 
 
 * Monsieur de Castelbajac was one of the Royalists con- 
 demned to death during the first Revolution. Disguised as a 
 printer's boy he printed his own condemnation. The fall of 
 Robespierre saved him from detection.
 
 i 4 8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 " Mrs. Leslie, Ellen * has a baby girL 
 The layette ordered in Paris has not yet 
 arrived. Can you give me anything to dress 
 the child in?" 
 
 Mrs. Leslie was one of those happily con- 
 stituted people who always happen to have 
 what is wanted; she provided the necessary gar- 
 ments, and the child thus clothed by her in 
 its earliest infancy grew to be a Catholic and 
 a Religious. 
 
 Apart from the friends she made there, 
 Pau was not at that time a congenial place. 
 The churches were ill cared for and neglected 
 in appearance and the society was worldly. 
 Mrs. Leslie had, however, a genius for finding 
 out and tracking saintliness to its most hidden 
 retreat. At Gelos lived a holy priest bearing 
 some resemblance to the Cure d'Ars, whose 
 church was a model of cleanliness and 
 neatness, the services being conducted with 
 the utmost reverence ; and she would fre- 
 quently undertake the long walk thither in 
 order to counteract the disedifying impres- 
 sions of her immediate unspiritual surround- 
 ings. 
 
 In the spring an excursion was made to 
 Notre Dame de Bettharam, a very ancient 
 place of pilgrimage in the Pyrenees ; and they 
 passed a night at Argelez. The evening devo- 
 
 * Mrs. Maxwell Lyte.
 
 VOCATIONS. 149 
 
 tions of the month of Mary were going on in 
 the village church when they arrived. It 
 looked as if it were full of monks, for all the 
 peasant women wore white capuchons. 
 
 An errand of charity made Bagneres de 
 Bigorre their next halting-place, and on re- 
 turning northwards a night was spent at 
 Poitiers to visit the tomb of St. Radegonde. 
 They were in Paris for the octave of the Fate 
 Dieu, and at the Madeleine there was a pro- 
 cession of the Blessed Sacrament. As it 
 passed down the church Mrs. Leslie saw 
 mothers holding up little children to be 
 blessed, and looked imploringly at the priest* 
 as he drew near. Reading her unspoken 
 desire in the earnestness of her gesture, he 
 placed the Monstrance on Charlotte's head. 
 
 Leaving Paris they returned to Scotland 
 by easy stages, paying a visit to Stonyhurst 
 on the way. 
 
 * M. PAbbe du Guerry, the holy Cure of the Madeleine, who 
 was shot with the other hostages during the Commune.
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 
 
 WE have several times in the course of this 
 Memoir alluded to some of Mrs. Leslie's 
 many friends, and as the story of her own 
 life has been gradually unfolded, several of 
 those who were associated with her in the 
 pursuit of truth have necessarily been men- 
 tioned at some length. But after she had 
 become a Catholic their number greatly in- 
 creased ; and as she was set free by the death 
 of her husband from the tenderest and most 
 absorbing of her domestic ties, she was now 
 at liberty to turn her attention to others in a 
 way that would not formerly have been 
 possible. In her choice of friends she had 
 always a high standard before her eyes, and 
 never formed a trivial or an unworthy friend- 
 ship. 
 
 About the time of her own conversion 
 and that of her family there was a distinct 
 movement in Scotland towards the Church. 
 Amongst the first Scottish converts, who 
 were also the first of Mrs. Leslie's new 
 friends, were Mr. and Mrs. Monteith of 
 Carstairs.
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 151 
 
 Mr. Monteith's father was a great Glasgow 
 merchant, descended from a laird of no con- 
 siderable estate. He made a large fortune in 
 business. In those days the trade of Glasgow 
 was growing apace, and the merchants 
 grasped their opportunity. They built Port 
 Glasgow at the mouth of the Clyde and then 
 deepened the river, so that mighty trading 
 ships could float up to the quays, where boys 
 used to walk across the river at low water. 
 These lands were wanted for the factories, 
 and an agent was sent to the Highlands to 
 induce the Macdonnell clan to leave their 
 mountains and come to the city. They con- 
 sented on one condition. The entire clan was 
 Catholic. Could the agent promise them a 
 Catholic church in Glasgow? He referred 
 the matter in the form of a petition to the 
 merchants, who at first refused. But after- 
 wards Mr. Monteith signed the petition and 
 then others followed his example. The Mac- 
 donnells came with their priest, but suffered 
 so much annoyance on account of their 
 religion that after a time they emigrated in a 
 body to Canada.* Upon this followed the 
 potato rot in Ireland ; the poor Irish took the 
 places vacated by the Macdonnells and re- 
 
 * The account of the Macdonnells' coming to Glasgow is 
 given by Dr. Gordon in the appendix to the " Scotichronicon," 
 under the years 1790 1800.
 
 1 52 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 mained, so that now about one-fourth of 
 Glasgow is Catholic, with twenty churches 
 and a population of 250,000 souls. Perhaps 
 Mr. Monteith's action in being the first to 
 advocate the building of a Catholic church in 
 the city may have helped to merit for his son 
 Robert the gift of faith. Robert went to 
 Cambridge and there became acquainted with 
 Tennyson, with whom he formed a life-long 
 friendship. He was a man of large intellect ; 
 he wrote good poetry, and his oratory was of 
 so high an order that although Glasgow 
 people are bigoted, they asked him after his 
 conversion to deliver a speech on the occa- 
 sion of a sword being publicly presented to 
 Lord Campbell of Clyde. And he was no 
 half-hearted Catholic. He built the beautiful 
 church at Lanark, and with the help of his 
 friend, Mr. Hope Scott, bought Smyllum and 
 turned it into a Catholic orphanage and 
 hospital. He also contributed largely to the 
 building of the convent of the Good Shepherd 
 at Dalkeith. His hospitality was no less 
 magnificent than his charity, and when he 
 came into possession of Carstairs, he loved to 
 fill his house with guests, Catholic and Pro- 
 testant. Mrs. Leslie and her daughters stayed 
 there frequently. 
 
 In the same county lived Colonel and 
 Mrs. Gerard, intimate friends of the Monteiths,
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 153 
 
 and a little later of the Leslies also. They 
 were received into the Church about the same 
 time. Colonel Gerard and Mrs. Leslie were 
 confirmed on the same day at St. Margaret's 
 Convent by Dr. Gill is. 
 
 The following account of the Gerards' con- 
 version is contributed by their eldest son, the 
 Rev. John Gerard, S.J. : 
 
 How my father and mother were first drawn into the High 
 Church movement I do not know. They were both by education 
 Scotch Episcopalians, but I know that at one period after their 
 marriage (in 1839) they made a point of attending the Presby- 
 terian Church when it was impossible to attend their own. In 
 the Holy Week of 1844 we were at Rome, and by that time the 
 edge of their Protestantism must have been rubbed off, for they 
 were indefatigable in their efforts to see all they could of the Pope 
 and the papal functions. On the occasion of the benediction 
 Urbi et orbi in the piazza, of St. Peter's, we children (my brother 
 Montagu and myself) were sent in a carriage to witness the 
 spectacle, my parents having gone on foot to get as near as 
 possible to thr- Holy Father. I remember that we were right at 
 the back of the crowded piazza^ and that our Catholic nurse, an 
 old Highland woman, made us get out and kneel down to receive 
 the Pope's blessing, and that I was much bewildered with the 
 whole affair, having a general impression from my Scotch 
 education that the Pope was a species of monster, and finding it 
 difficult to believe that the little white figure pointed out on the 
 balcony (Gregory XVI.) was really he and not one of the fans of 
 peacocks' feathers on either side of him. 
 
 My recollections begin to be coherent about 1846, when we 
 were living at Chesters on the Teviot in Roxburghshire, by which 
 time both my parents had thrown themselves heartily into the 
 High Church movement. The great centre of its activity 
 was Lady Lothian's beautitul church at Jedlmrgh, the 
 pastor of which was Mr. White, assisted by a deacon, Mr. 
 Campbell I think, who afterwards became a Catholic. The 
 services were of course purely Anglican, but conducted with
 
 1 54 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 great solemnity, and there was an excellent surpliced choir of 
 men and boys. 
 
 I remember hearing it said, as instancing the bigotry and 
 prejudice then commonly prevalent, that according to popular 
 belief a live dragon was kept under the altar, which Lady 
 Lothian and Mr. White used regularly to feed. 
 
 In 1847, early in the year I fancy, we flitted from Chesters to 
 Rocksoles. My father had hitherto resided in the Border 
 country for the sake of hunting and salmon fishing, and the 
 neighbourhood was certainly more attractive than the coalfields 
 of Lanarkshire. My mother was greatly distressed at the thought 
 of the change, and asked me if I could guess what it cost her 
 most to leave. I failed to do so, and she explained that it was 
 " the little church," and that she could not hope to find anything 
 like it where we were going. Certainly Episcopalianism was not 
 well represented in our new quarters. The only available church 
 was at Coatbridge, and there the services were conducted in 
 a fashion that I soon learned was anything but pleasing to my 
 parents fresh from Jedburgh. The clergyman, whose name 
 I quite forget, but who certainly was from Ireland, appeared to be 
 particularly obnoxious to them. After a time he disappeared, and 
 we were without a pastor. During this interval my father exerted 
 himself to obtain casual assistance, and on one occasion the 
 Sunday work was undertaken by a person styling himself the 
 
 Hon. and Rev. Mr. , who stayed with us and preached 
 
 two sermons which were considered exceptionally good, but he 
 proved to be no clergyman at all. Meanwhile my father took 
 much trouble to secure the services of a permanent minister who 
 should instruct his flock in sound High Church doctrine. To 
 this end he made a journey to Leeds to take counsel with 
 Dr. Hook, whose authority was great with Episcopalians of his 
 school By Dr. Hook's advice he then paid a visit to the Isle of 
 Man, and there prevailed on the Rev. Robert Aitken to take pity 
 upon us and come to establish himself at Coatbridge. Mr. 
 Aitken was certainly a remarkable man, a powerful though violent 
 preacher, and exceedingly imperious. I remember hearing my 
 father, after his return from his mission, recounting an expression 
 used by Dr. Hook, that before recommending him for the place he 
 should know what sort of flock he would have to address, but that 
 if they could be dosed with raw brandy, Mr. Aitken was the man.
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 155 
 
 I infer that by this time my parents were thoroughly imbued 
 with Newman's Anglican teaching. My mother was at great 
 pains to instruct me I was then between seven and eight as to 
 the distinctive character and position of the Anglican Church, 
 and the impression produced on my mind I afterwards fully 
 recognized when I came to read of the Via Media. Our Coat- 
 bridge church stood on the middle of a hill, on the summit of 
 which was the Presbyterian " Mount Zion ; " and at the bottom 
 a Catholic chapel was building. I used often to think that this 
 situation exactly typified what I had been told of our position 
 between Calvinism and Popery. In the winter of 1847-8 my 
 father paid a visit to the West Indies. During his absence my 
 mother began, if she had not previously begun, seriously to study 
 the Catholic claims ; for I remember being startled to notice that 
 she was reading a book called "The Faith of Catholics." 
 A scriptural difficulty which presented itself to her mind she 
 proposed for solution to Mr Aitken, who endeavoured at once 
 to crush the spirit of enquiry by assuring her that if she pre- 
 sumed to entertain such thoughts she would infallibly be 
 damned, and so terrified her that, going out immediately after- 
 wards driving by herself, she was run away with and had a bad 
 accident. His reply however chiefly upset her as being 
 altogether inconsistent with the system of private judgment 
 which he loudly professed. 
 
 Shortly afterwards we all went to Ireland on a visit to my 
 mother's brother-in-law, Colonel Nugent, in Westmeath, a zealous 
 Protestant. In passing through Dublin she paid a visit to 
 Gardiner Street and saw Father St. Leger I do not know 
 which of the brothers of that name, to whom she proposed 
 the difficulty to which Mr. Aitken had refused to listen. Father 
 St. Leger at once explained the Catholic doctrine on the point, 
 my mother being as much struck by the reasonable procedure of 
 the Church of authority as by the unreasonableness of that of 
 private judgment. 
 
 In the country district where the next few months were spent 
 she was much impressed by the faith and devotion of the Irish 
 people. She also formed a fast friendship with a good parish 
 priest, Father Eugene O'Rourke, whose simple piety and 
 earnestness she never forgot. All this time, however, she 
 attended the Anglican church, and although undoubtedly much
 
 i 5 6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 shaken in her conviction, had not, I believe, as yet seriously 
 contemplated the possibility of becoming a Catholic. It was, I 
 suppose, when we got back to Scotland that she began formal 
 discussions with Mrs Monteith, who with her husband had 
 visited us at Chesters as an Anglican, both having since then 
 become Catholics. Mrs. Monteith had unquestionably much to 
 do with my mother's conversion, but I never heard any 
 particulars of their conferences on the subject, save for a casual 
 remark of the former, that although it was hard work arguing, yet 
 it was a satisfaction to have to deal with a person who never 
 looked back, and with whom a point once gained was gained for 
 ever. 
 
 By the time that my father returned from the West Indies, 
 my mother had practically made up her mind to go over, but I 
 fancy that she did not at once tell him of her resolve, and 
 certainly she went to church at Coatbridge with him on one occa- 
 sion at least. But in no long time she took me out one day for 
 a walk, and after reminding me of her former religious teaching, 
 told me that she had been led to enquire further, and from all 
 she had heard and read she had resolved to become a Catholic ; 
 that my sister (there was then only one) was to be a Catholic 
 too, but that we three were to remain Protestants with my father. 
 I was greatly distressed at the idea of this separation, and 
 thenceforth she taught me no more catechism, and I remember, 
 in our English history lessons, insisted on skipping over the 
 Middle Ages. On the first Sunday when she went to Mass at 
 Airdrie we drove round to drop her there on our way to 
 Coatbridge, and found that Mr. Monteith had come over from 
 Carstairs to support her under what he felt would be a trying 
 ordeal. She was much rejoiced to find him there, not having 
 expected his coming. We never were told when she was 
 received, but my sister, then quite a child, one day described 
 a ceremony she had gone through, which we understood to mean 
 her baptism. My mother's reception into the Church and 
 baptism took place at St. Margaret's Convent, Edinburgh. 
 
 My father afterwards gave me some slight account of his own 
 progress. When my mother told him of her determination he 
 was startled, but said that he would make no opposition to the 
 step she proposed to take, and that after what she told him of her 
 experiences he would make it his immediate business to enquire
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 157 
 
 further for himself. As a first step he at once wrote to his old 
 counsellor, Dr. Hook, that he felt it his duty to obtain all the 
 information he could on the subject, asking for advice as to the 
 books he should consult. Dr. Hook replied that not being 
 sufficiently acquainted with his capabilities in respect of intellect 
 or education, he did not know what to recommend, but would 
 suggest the reading at least of Tom Paine and Voltaire, that he 
 might have the opportunity of becoming an infidel as well as a 
 papist. Naturally, this response did not serve to satisfy my 
 father's mind, and he began his researches for himself, and, as he 
 said, at once discovered that he had hitherto known nothing of 
 the true state of the question. Of all this, at the time, we of 
 course knew nothing. 
 
 At this juncture my mother was taken suddenly ill, and lay 
 for some time in great danger of her life. This brought the 
 Airdrie priests frequently to Rocksoles. They were a Mr. 
 McNabb and a Mr. Jeremiah Buckley, both of whom, and 
 especially Mr. McNabb, we got to know and to like, and I could 
 not help observing on what good terms they appeared to be with 
 my father We ceased our visits to Coatbridge, and presently he 
 dropped a remark one Sunday showing that he had been that day 
 to Mass. I felt sure that something was coming. 
 
 Soon afterwards, my mother, who was still in bed, sent for me 
 and told me that we were all going to be Catholics, asking 
 me whether I understood the great difference between the two 
 Churches, namely, that Catholic priests could, and other ministers 
 could not, consecrate the Body and Blood of Christ so as to be 
 really present on the altar. How much influence Newman's 
 writings had exercised upon her was made clear by her subse- 
 quent habit of reading to me passages from his Catholic sermons 
 which had then begun to appear. She was particularly fond of 
 the passage (in the sermon entitled " Saintliness the Standard of 
 Christian Principle ") describing the sensations of one born and 
 bred in a pit, underground, and suddenly introduced to the upper 
 air and the light of day, which he applies to a soul brought from 
 error to the true Church. 
 
 We boys were present when my father was confirmed, in the 
 chapel of St. Margaret's Convent, I think on the feast of St. 
 Francis Xavier, whose name he took (December 3, 1848) ; and 
 on the ayth of the same month, the feast of St. John the
 
 I5 8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Evangelist, my two brothers and myself were conditionally 
 baptised by the Rev. John Macdonald in the sacristy of St. 
 
 Mary's, Edinburgh. 
 
 (Signed) JOHN GERARD, S.J. 
 
 The first link between the Leslie and the 
 Gerard family was formed at the baptism of 
 Mrs. Gerard's little daughter Emily, soon 
 after her own conversion, when Mary Leslie, 
 then a pupil at St. Margaret's Convent, acted 
 as godmother. 
 
 Passing years have not dimmed her recol- 
 lection of those beloved friends of her youth, 
 and she writes from St. Margaret's after a 
 long interval of religious life : 
 
 I always think of Mrs. Gerard as the most highly gifted woman 
 I ever knew. Whatever she undertook she carried through 
 perfectly and seemingly without effort, whether it were music, 
 drawing or languages, though she applied herself to each with 
 unflagging energy and interest. I well remember how she 
 devoted herself to the training of the very unpromising choir of 
 the chapel at Airdrie, and how immensely it improved under her 
 care. She was ever ready to help the clergy by providing vest- 
 ments and altar linen, her devotion to the Blessed Sacrament 
 rendering all her work a labour of love. 
 
 Great was her joy when leave was given 
 for a chapel at Rocksoles, wherein the Blessed 
 Sacrament might be reserved, and henceforth 
 the sanctuary lamp shone through a cross of 
 red glass in the oratory window as a beacon, 
 showing forth to the world a real Catholic 
 home. 
 
 Mrs. Gerard's love for and interest in the
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 159 
 
 poor were heartfelt, and her children were 
 trained from their earliest years to take 
 pleasure in depriving themselves of little 
 dainties for their benefit. The hospitality at 
 Rocksoles was proverbial and was extended 
 to Catholics and Protestants alike. It was no 
 uncommon occurrence for the Presbyterian 
 minister, the Anglican parson and the Catholic 
 priest to meet there at dinner. It was probably 
 the only house at which they were all three to 
 be seen together. On such occasions the con- 
 versation would be skilfully led to such topics as 
 were of general interest, no opportunity, how- 
 ever, being lost of creating a better under- 
 standing of the Catholic religion by bringing in 
 a useful explanation in the right place or by 
 dispelling a time-honoured misapprehension. 
 
 The following anecdote illustrates Mrs. 
 Gerard's energy in the cause of religion, her 
 large generosity and truly Catholic spirit. 
 
 A Parliamentary Commission had been 
 appointed to investigate the state of religious 
 instruction in Wales. The report, printed in 
 The Guardian newspaper, revealed appalling 
 ignorance in the Principality. Mrs. Gerard 
 was then living in Ireland, and on her brother- 
 in-law's property was a row of cottages 
 inhabited by poor Catholics, the Catholic 
 chapel being some miles away. With The 
 Guardian in her hand, she questioned the poor
 
 160 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Irish children dwelling in these cottages on 
 the subjects of which the Welsh children had 
 shown such deplorable ignorance, and the 
 answers she received were admirable for 
 correctness in every instance. As she was 
 returning home, at the first town she came 
 to she gave an equal sum of money to the 
 Protestant clergyman and to the Catholic 
 priest for their poor. The clergyman merely 
 thanked her, the priest asked for her name. 
 She made some difficulty, but gave way when 
 he said : " We like to write the names of our 
 benefactors in a book, so that we may pray 
 for them." 
 
 Colonel Gerard had been in the Scots 
 Greys, and had a soldierly appearance, com- 
 bined with great gentleness and even sweet- 
 ness of manner, which won all hearts. One 
 exceptionally cold, hard winter a committee 
 was forming at Airdrie for the relief of the 
 poor. As so many of them were Catholics, 
 he proposed that a Catholic should be put 
 on the committee. The motion was carried 
 at once, and a Presbyterian minister brought 
 forward the name of one Catholic while'another 
 minister immediately proposed that of another. 
 
 The extremely good terms on which he 
 lived with his Protestant neighbours owed 
 nothing to the sacrifice of Catholic principle, 
 as the following story shows.
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 161 
 
 He had been invited during one Advent 
 to a shooting party in Arran by the Duke of 
 Hamilton. On the first fast day, a Wednes- 
 day, a gentleman observed that he was 
 eating no breakfast. In the middle of 
 the day luncheon was brought for the 
 shooters on to the hill-side ; but there 
 was no abstinence food, and Colonel Gerard 
 could eat nothing. His friend remarked this, 
 and when they assembled at dinner said to 
 him as they sat down, "What a dinner you 
 will eat ! " But again there was scarcely 
 anything he could venture upon. Some one 
 whispered to the Duke, and he looked dis- 
 tressed, but on Friday the same thing happened 
 again ; the Duke sprang up, rang the bell, 
 and had a long conversation with the steward 
 behind a screen. Colonel Gerard felt sure 
 that it was all about food for him on 
 abstinence days. After that he was not 
 only well provided for, but a mutual under- 
 standing sprang up between himself and his 
 host, and from that day he was perhaps the 
 best friend the Duke ever had. The Duke of 
 Hamilton, who held himself to be little less 
 than king of Lanarkshire, supported a man in 
 an election for office in the police, and was 
 much put out when Colonel Gerard, knowing 
 the man to be unfit for the work, opposed 
 him. The Duke's candidate was not elected, 
 
 M
 
 162 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 and Colonel Gerard rode over to Hamilton 
 and explained to the Duke that he had done 
 him a good turn in opposing his man, who, if 
 he had been elected, would have disgraced 
 his patron. The Duke was wise enough not 
 to resent this sturdy act of friendship. 
 
 Colonel Gerard was a remarkably good 
 artist; his sketches which now cover the walls 
 at Rocksoles are delightful. Mrs. Gerard's 
 talent for drawing has already been mentioned. 
 She had learned of an old Scotch artist 
 who had taught Queen Victoria, and who used 
 to say, "The Queen is a verra sensible person 
 and no wi'out talent." 
 
 This Colonel Gerard's father, also a Colonel 
 Gerard, had gone to Tours some time after 
 the battle of Waterloo and had bought some 
 pictures there of which the old drawing-master 
 disapproved. When he heard of anyone 
 wanting to buy good pictures, he would say 
 drily, "Go and buy them at Tours. Colonel 
 Gerard has bought all the bad ones there." 
 
 Early in the fifties Mr. and Mrs. Caswall 
 came to live in Edinburgh, and were soon 
 counted among Mrs. Leslie's greatest friends. 
 They were recent converts, although they 
 cannot be exactly said to belong to the Scotch 
 revival of Catholicism. Mr. Caswall had been 
 at Brasenose College, Oxford, and had written 
 clever little books which had a certain vogue
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 163 
 
 at that time. These were " Sketches of Young 
 Gentlemen," " Sketches of Young Ladies," and 
 "The Art of Pluck," in imitation of the 
 style of Aristotle, which passed through several 
 editions. A prize was offered at Oxford for 
 the best essay on a method for converting 
 the Brahmins. Caswall wrote an essay but 
 brought himself to a Catholic conclusion. He 
 thought this must be wrong and threw his 
 paper aside. After some time he made a 
 fresh start, and again arrived at a Catholic 
 conclusion. He had married by this time, 
 and both he and his wife were interested in 
 Catholicism. He wished that she should be- 
 come a Catholic, but they waited for each 
 other. Long afterwards he said : "Whenever 
 I wanted to be a Catholic she did not, and 
 when she did, for some reason or other, I did 
 not." At last they made up their minds that 
 they had had enough theory and would like 
 to see the Catholic religion in practice. Just 
 then there was no political disturbance in 
 Ireland, so they went there and took lodgings 
 in Dublin. As they meant to be very im- 
 partial in collecting evidence they provided 
 themselves with two note-books, in one of" 
 which they intended to put down all they saw 
 in favour of Protestantism, in the other all 
 they saw favourable to Catholicism. The land- 
 lady asked Mrs. Caswall if she would like to
 
 !6 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 witness the ceremony of a nun's clothing. At 
 the convent they were put into a room over- 
 looking the chapel with the father of the young 
 novice who was to be clothed that day. Mr. 
 Caswall asked him if he were not sorry to 
 lose his daughter in such a manner. But the 
 man replied earnestly, "Sir, I am not worthy 
 of it ; " and Caswall said afterwards, " I put 
 that down." 
 
 One Sunday they passed a thatched hovel. 
 It was a Catholic chapel ; Mass was going on, 
 and it was pouring with rain. The chapel was 
 full to over-flowing, and outside men were 
 kneeling among the puddles. Caswall said, 
 "I put that down." 
 
 They were received into the Church and 
 went to Edinburgh, where Mrs. Caswall was 
 at once attracted to Mrs. Leslie, and being an 
 orphan she begged that she might call 
 her " mother." This was one of the many 
 instances in which Mrs. Leslie's motherliness 
 appealed to a want in others and made itself 
 practically felt. 
 
 While in Edinburgh Mr. Caswall occupied 
 himself with his translation of Breviary hymns, 
 now so well known and admired. Later he 
 went to Bangor, where Mrs. Caswall died. 
 He never forgot Mrs. Leslie's sympathy in 
 the time of trouble and bereavement that 
 followed. After a time he joined the Birm-
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND 165 
 
 ingham Oratory, and died at Edgbaston. In 
 one of his letters Newman mentioned him as 
 among his dearest friends. 
 
 From Mr. Caswall Mrs. Leslie heard a 
 great deal about the conversion of his friend 
 Ambrose Lisle Phillips, and the kind of per- 
 sistent annexing of every fragment of Catholic 
 truth remaining in the Church of England 
 which led him up to it. When a boy he read 
 something in Edward VI. 's first Prayer Book 
 about a cope. He went to the old parson and 
 said to him, " Sir, I find you might wear a 
 cope." "Oh, yes, my dear boy, but it's never 
 done." " But sir," he persisted, " I should like 
 to see you in a cope. I'll get you one." 
 Another time he went to him and said, "Sir, 
 I find I might go to confession." " Yes, my 
 boy," answered the parson, " but no one does 
 now." " But, sir, I'll come to-morrow and 
 make my confession." He was as good as 
 his word, went to the old man's study and 
 knelt down. In terror the parson urged him 
 not to say a word, but the boy got his way, 
 and, having made his confession, asked for 
 absolution. The parson asked him which he 
 preferred, as there were two in the Prayer 
 Book the general absolution and the one in 
 articulo mortis. The boy answered, " Please, 
 sir, I would like the best." The next thing 
 young Ambrose suggested was a cross on the
 
 Z 66 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Communion Table in the church. He got 
 one made, and a procession of the school 
 children followed him, carrying it through the 
 park to the church, the poor old parson, a 
 maiden sister on each arm, bringing up the 
 rear. The boy put the cross on the Com- 
 munion Table, and heard the parson say to 
 his sisters with a sigh, "Ain't it awful!" 
 
 At Carstairs Mrs. Leslie became acquainted 
 with Colonel and Mrs. Macdonell. They were 
 perhaps the first of her friends who had 
 always been Catholics. Colonel Macdonell 
 had seen hard fighting, and was a gallant 
 soldier, very warm-hearted and impetuous, 
 ardent in his faith and also in his devotion 
 to the Bourbons. His pretty courtesy to his 
 wife, who was slow in her manner of speak- 
 ing, was very pleasing. He would check his 
 impetuosity and wait for her to finish speak- 
 ing in the most high-bred manner. They lived 
 in Edinburgh in a very simple, quiet way, ob- 
 served the fasts of the Church when past 
 sixty, and went to Mass every morning. One 
 day Colonel Macdonell found the Duchess of 
 Parma kneeling on the floor among the poor 
 at St. Mary's. She had been driven from her 
 home in the revolutionary crisis of 1848 and 
 had arrived in Edinburgh the night before. 
 Colonel Macdonell waited for her till she 
 came out of church, welcomed her with a
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 167 
 
 shout, and walked with her to her hotel, 
 talking politics all the way. She afterwards 
 drove from Drumlanrigg, where she was stay- 
 ing on a visit to the Duchess of Buccleuch, 
 to call on Mrs. Gerard, whom she had known 
 as a child, Mrs. Gerard's father having held 
 some office at the court of Charles X. The 
 Duchess of Parma was not a stranger in 
 Edinburgh either; she had been at Holyrood 
 Palace with her father, and had made her 
 first Communion at St. Mary's. 
 
 Another of Mrs. Leslie's Catholic friends 
 was the widow of a Colonel Hutchinson, 
 a charming old-fashioned lady, who had been 
 an Irvingite, and who, when she first became 
 a Catholic, was described by Dr. Gillis as " stiff 
 as buckram." But the warm genial heart soon 
 melted the stiff manner, and nothing could ex- 
 ceed the child-like simplicity and eagerness with 
 which she sought to learn ever more about her 
 religion. When Mrs. Leslie's son went to the 
 Novitiate and sent home his gold watch, Mrs. 
 Hutchinson sent him a silver one. She was 
 extremely charitable and gave largely to the 
 poor. When she died, she left her house to 
 the Sisters of Mercy with some money. Some- 
 times as she talked she would wave her right 
 hand, turning out the palms in an odd way. 
 In her last illness she was often visited by 
 Sister Mary Sales (Mary Leslie), and one day
 
 1 68 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 said to her, " Well, my dear, Mr. Monteith has 
 been here. I've told him where I am to be 
 buried, and he's quite delighted," with the usual 
 wave of her hand. 
 
 Mr. Robertson, whom the reader will re- 
 member as having belonged to the Portobello 
 days, had gone to live at Dalkeith, where 
 the beautiful chapel built by the Duke of 
 Buccleuch, within the park gates, was finished. 
 He was highly appreciated by the Duke and 
 Duchess, as also by the Marchioness of 
 Lothian. To all of them he spoke much 
 of Mrs. Leslie, and before long she was 
 invited with her two younger daughters, who 
 were about the same age as Lady Lothians' 
 daughters, to stay at Newbattle. Thus was 
 formed another friendship which suffered no 
 diminution when Mrs. Leslie became a Catholic. 
 Mr. Robertson continued to study and pray, 
 and the more he studied and prayed the less 
 was he contented to remain in the Church of 
 England. Mrs. Leslie also helped to solve 
 his difficulties, and he spoke to the Duke of 
 Buccleuch about giving up his chaplaincy. But 
 the Duke would not hear of it, and for a time 
 persuaded him to remain where he was. Then 
 the longing to be a Catholic returned stronger 
 than ever, and he said to Mrs. Leslie, "I am 
 sick of saying that ' Dearly beloved brethren ' 
 it is immoral." At last one Saturday afternoon
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 169 
 
 he came to Mrs. Leslie's house and went with 
 her son to St. Margaret's Convent. The nuns 
 were singing the Litany of Loreto. After 
 a few invocations Mr. Robertson sang, " Ora pro 
 nobis," and our Lady helped him to take the 
 final step which reconciled him to the Church. 
 Immediately after his reception his children 
 received conditional baptism, and his aunt, 
 Miss Cunningham, who kept house for him, also 
 became a Catholic. She still treasured in her 
 old age her first Catholic prayer-book, the 
 gift of Mrs. Leslie. 
 
 It was natural to expect that Lady Lothian 
 and the Duchess of Buccleuch, who had been 
 influenced by Mr. Robertson's teaching as an 
 Episcopalian, should follow him into the 
 Church. But this hope was not at once realised. 
 Lady Lothian used to carry her difficulties to 
 Mrs. Leslie, who could not understand why 
 she did not decide. One day she asked her, 
 " How many hours will you be before you are 
 received ? " She took her to the chapel at 
 St. Margaret's, and Lady Lothian threw herself 
 on her knees before the Blessed Sacrament as 
 she entered. Soon after this she drove one 
 day to Fingal Place with a paper in her hand, 
 and reading from it asked for an explanation 
 of certain things which were not clear to her. 
 She was perfecly satisfied with Mrs. Leslie's 
 answers to one question after the other. Her
 
 1 7 o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 last doubts were now dispelled and she made 
 her abjuration. She had feared that her 
 children might be taken away from her, and 
 suffered greatly in anticipation of the wrench, 
 but after her first Communion she declared that 
 God had abundantly repaid her for all she had 
 gone through. 
 
 Lady Lothian had so often repeated to the 
 Duchess of Buccleuch facts that Mrs. Leslie 
 had told her about the Catholic religion that, 
 although the Duchess did not make her acquain- 
 tance until after her own conversion, she always 
 considered Mrs. Leslie as her mother in the 
 faith. It was in recognition of the help 
 she had afforded to herself and to many con- 
 verts, especially at that time in Scotland, that 
 the Duchess exclaimed some years later, on 
 the occasion of Lady Lothian's death, when 
 addressing the children of Mary at Roehampton : 
 " Mrs. Leslie is the mother of us all ! " 
 
 All these conversions in a short time pro- 
 duced the effect of completely changing the 
 religious aspect in that part of the Lowlands and 
 Border country. A few years before the only 
 Catholic place of worship had been at Traquair. 
 Now churches sprang up in all directions. Mr. 
 Monteith built a fine one at Lanark; Lady 
 Lothian another at Dalkeith, which serves for 
 a population spread over a wide area. She 
 had been persuaded as an Anglican, by a Mr.
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 171 
 
 Laing of Jedburgh, to place the church which 
 she had already built there in the hands of 
 trustees, he fearing that she would become 
 .a Catholic. In thus doing Mr. Laing was hoist 
 with his own petard, for he and his family were 
 also ultimately brought into the Church. After- 
 wards Lady Lothian built the present Catholic 
 church at Jedburgh. The Duchess of Buccleuch 
 erected one at Selkirk, and Mr. Hope Scott 
 another at Galashiels, and also a chapel at 
 Kelso. By his means too, Mass was said at 
 St. Andrew's and at Oban. The chaplain at 
 Traquair built a church at Hawick. At first 
 there was no one to go to it ; but soon after it 
 was built a colony of Irish navvies came to the 
 neighbourhood and filled it. All these edifices 
 sprang up without opposition, the fact presenting 
 a startling contrast to the struggle which it had 
 cost the Vicar Apostolic, Dr. Scott, a few years 
 previously to build St. Andrew's Church at 
 Glasgow. So great had been the disturbance 
 caused in that city that as the walls rose by 
 day they were demolished by the populace 
 by night. Dr. Scott could get no redress 
 from the provost, and wrote to the Home 
 Secretary. At last compensation was made, 
 and the building proceeded. 
 
 A strange scene was witnessed at the laying 
 of the foundation stone of St. David's, Dalkeith. 
 Lady Lothian, her children and a few others
 
 172 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 were kneeling in the wooden building where 
 the ceremony was taking place. At the door 
 was a crowd of black-faced colliers, all striving 
 to see over each other's shoulders, and facing 
 them was Bishop Gillis, in full pontificals, 
 saying, " My dear brethren, you are surprised 
 at seeing me in this dress. This dress is 1,800 
 years old." All mouths were agape in astonish- 
 ment, and the discourse that followed these 
 opening words was listened to in breathless 
 silence ; whereas, at first, nothing could be 
 heard but the pelting of stones and lumps of 
 coal against the wooden shed, as a Protestant 
 demonstration against the Popish doings within. 
 
 All the churches that had now been built 
 were centres of growing Catholic communities, 
 still small indeed among the upper classes, 
 but with a large population of poor in the 
 manufacturing districts. Lord Henry Kerr, 
 brother of the Marquis of Lothian, and his 
 family had become Catholics in England, but 
 were now living at Huntlyburn, near Melrose, 
 a house on the Abbotsford estate in which 
 later on we shall find Mrs. Leslie as a wel- 
 come and frequent visitor. 
 
 Lady Lothian's children followed her into 
 the Church with the exception of her two 
 elder sons. Lord Walter was in the Navy, 
 and therefore less accessible to his mother. 
 When he was at Portsmouth she took her
 
 THE CATHOLIC REVIVAL IN SCOTLAND. 173 
 
 two daughters to the Isle of Wight, and 
 when suddenly his ship was ordered to 
 Gravesend before he was ready to be re- 
 ceived, she left them there and went to com- 
 plete his instruction. Lady Alice wrote an 
 amusing account of her brother's conversion 
 to Charlotte Leslie up to the time of his ship 
 leaving Portsmouth, " when Mama flew up to 
 London like a fiery dragon, leaving me and 
 Cecy here praying like mad bulls."
 
 174 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 
 
 MRS. LESLIE returned to Edinburgh with her 
 daughter Charlotte in the summer of 1854, 
 and there were many besides her two elder 
 daughters, the one married, the other a nun, 
 who would gladly have seen her settle there. 
 But the same reason that had obliged her to 
 seek a warm climate the preceding year made 
 it again necessary to fly southward before the 
 long bleak Scotch winter set in, and this 
 time the choice of a sojourn was not difficult. 
 On December 8 was to be defined the dogma 
 of our Lady's Immaculate Conception, and 
 all Catholic hearts were turned Romewards. 
 
 The Italian railroads being still unfinished, 
 and the journey over the Alps a far more 
 complicated one than the present younger 
 generation can remember, Mr. Monteith intro- 
 duced Mrs. Leslie in Paris to three ladies 
 who were bound for the same destination, 
 who would share with her the responsibilities 
 of the route. They met at Lyons in October, 
 and started in the diligence that crossed the 
 Mont Cenis. It rained heavily all day. 
 A diligence coming from Turin met theirs,
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. I75 
 
 and the driver told them that the rain in the 
 valley was snow in the mountains, and the 
 road scarcely passable. Towards evening the 
 rain ceased ; they stopped for supper at 
 St.-Jean de Mourienne at the foot of Mont 
 Cenis, after which the ascent began with two 
 horses and a team of fourteen mules. A fine 
 sunset tinged the snowy heights with rose 
 colour, and every step revealed some new 
 beauty. It was dark when they reached the 
 top. At the frontier the mules were left 
 behind, and the descent began with two horses 
 only. The barriers were completely hidden 
 by the accumulation of snow, and the driver 
 kept close to the side of the mountain lest 
 the horses should go over the precipice. 
 Here and there large crosses marked the 
 spot where some fatal accident had occurred. 
 They had not gone far when the wheels of 
 the diligence became embedded in a snowdrift, 
 and the horses were powerless to extricate 
 them. After many fruitless efforts a mes- 
 senger was sent back to the frontier and 
 brought a mule. The struggle recommenced, 
 but in vain. A second mule was sent for and 
 was harnessed in front of the first. At last, 
 with the united efforts of horses, mules and 
 the male passengers, who helped to shovel 
 away the snow from the wheels, they got 
 clear, and a fresh start was made, but not
 
 176 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 before one of the mules had his fore-legs over 
 the precipice, to the imminent danger of 
 dragging the whole party into the abyss. 
 They reached Susa without further accident, 
 but long after the last train had left for Turin, 
 and the travellers passed the night there. At 
 Genoa they were detained for some days, the 
 river Magro being so swollen by the floods 
 that it could not be forded. When it was 
 supposed to have subsided, they set out for 
 Pisa, taking the beautiful coast road, but they 
 were forty hours in reaching it owing to the 
 floods. A sultry afternoon was followed by 
 a tremendous thunder-storm with torrents of 
 rain, which continued all night, and on reach- 
 ing the Magro in the morning it was found 
 that the crossing would have to be effected 
 partly in boats and partly on the men's 
 shoulders. On the other side broken-down 
 vehicles replaced the sound one that had 
 come from Genoa. Pisa, and still more Siena, 
 with its memories of St. Catherine, delighted 
 their taste for the beautiful and stimulated 
 their devotion, but they pressed on towards 
 Rome with great eagerness and longing. All 
 the public conveyances being crowded, they 
 engaged a carriage with the understanding 
 that the Eternal City should be reached in 
 thirty-six hours. 
 
 There is no greater test of a person's
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. I?7 
 
 amiability than the test of travelling; and in 
 this as in all other journeys Mrs. Leslie dis- 
 played the most perfect unselfishness and 
 thoughtful care of others, always sacrificing 
 her own convenience and pleasure to theirs. 
 
 At last the cupola of St. Peter's could be 
 seen rising as it appeared out of the midst of 
 the Campagna, and the hearts of the travel- 
 lers thrilled with faith and gratitude as they 
 beheld it. Soon their carriage dashed through 
 the Porta del Popolo and clattered over the 
 paving-stones of Rome. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie's first care was to find a suit- 
 able apartment for herself and her daughter. 
 She wished to be near the Gesu, and was 
 directed to No. 13, Via dietro il tribuno del 
 Tor de Specchi, which in spite of its long 
 name was a most insignificant street. But 
 when the door of No. 13 opened, the charm- 
 ing countenance of the woman within was 
 like a sunbeam, and there was a refresh- 
 ing vista of orange trees and azaleas in 
 the small garden behind the house. A particu- 
 larly clean flight of stairs led to bright, sunny 
 rooms above, and Mrs. Leslie was induced to 
 engage them. The circumstance that they 
 had once been inhabited by Cardinal Acton 
 and Cardinal Weld increased their interest. 
 The house belonged to Count Demakolis, 
 a Greek; his second wife, Liberata, Contessa 
 
 M
 
 178 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 though she was, had been his servant and 
 worked like the most faithful and devoted 
 sick nurse. She was invaluable to her 
 lodgers. A small apartment reached by 
 another flight of stairs was inhabited by Miss 
 F. Taafe, and afterwards by Mr. William 
 Palmer, brother of Roundell Palmer, first 
 Lord Selborne. 
 
 The approaching solemnities on the occasion 
 of the definition of the Immaculate Conception 
 had attracted a vast number of foreigners to 
 Rome that year. Among the English were 
 many of Mrs. Leslie's friends. Lady Lothian 
 had come with her younger children ; the 
 Philip Stourtons, the Scott-Murrays, the 
 Fitzgeralds, the Mannings were also there, 
 and were met at the various festas and 
 stations. At the Academia and the English 
 College were many well-known names 
 Cardinal Howard, Fathers Wynne and Cole- 
 ridge, Gilbert Talbot, Dr. Patterson and others. 
 Mr. William Palmer was also in Rome at 
 that time, and many were hoping that he 
 would give up his cherished scheme of 
 uniting the Anglican and Greek Churches 
 and become a Catholic. During Shrovetide a 
 retreat for ladies was to be given in French 
 at the Convent of the Sacred Heart. Many 
 of the English Catholic ladies wished to 
 attend it, and one evening they met at Lady
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME i 79 
 
 Lothian's at tea, and the conversation turned 
 chiefly on the coming retreat. Father Wynne 
 and Father Coleridge were present, and also 
 Mr. Palmer, who listened attentively to what 
 was being said. Presently he asked what a 
 retreat meant. Father Coleridge explained, 
 adding : " You should make a retreat your- 
 self." Mr. Palmer said his purpose in coming 
 to Rome was a very different one, that he 
 wanted every hour of his spare time for his 
 researches in the libraries and museums, and 
 that he could not give up eight or ten days 
 to a retreat. " But if," pursued Father Wynne, 
 "we engaged a room for you at the Roman 
 College, and arranged with a Father to give 
 you the Spiritual Exercises, would you still 
 refuse to make them?" "I suppose," 
 answered Mr. Palmer, "if you had been to so 
 much trouble, I could hardly persist in refusing." 
 That evening it was difficult to say whether 
 he had seriously undertaken to make a re- 
 treat or not, but Mrs. Leslie and her daughter 
 with many of the other English ladies made 
 his conversion a special intention of their own 
 retreat, and it was therefore with great joy 
 and gratitude that they heard before leaving the 
 convent that he had been received into the 
 Church. He had gone to the Roman College 
 and had begun the Spiritual Exercises under 
 Father Passaglia's direction. Instead of the
 
 i8o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 usual meditation on the choice of a state of 
 life, Father Passaglia proposed the choice of 
 a Church, carrying out the rules of St. 
 Ignatius for a wise election. The result was 
 so clear a light and so profound a conviction 
 that further hesitation was impossible. Mr. 
 Palmer was then and there received into the 
 Church, and continued his retreat as a 
 Catholic. 
 
 A violent epidemic of measles broke out in 
 Rome. Scarcely a house was spared, and 
 people of all ages were attacked. Grand- 
 mothers and grandchildren were often laid up 
 under the same roof, and some took the 
 disease for the third time. Lady Lothian's 
 daughters did not escape, and Miss Taafe had 
 it dangerously. Mrs. Leslie's hesitation be- 
 tween charity to the sick and her duty to her 
 daughter was only momentary. Charlotte had 
 never had the measles, and her delicate state 
 of health made the greatest care necessary; 
 but the mother's common sense told her that 
 the air of Rome and the very house they were 
 in being strongly impregnated with the 
 disease, precautions to avoid it would avail 
 little if there were any predisposition to take 
 it. There was no one to nurse Miss Taafe, 
 who had for a long time lived the life of a 
 recluse, spending her days in prayer before 
 the Blessed Sacrament, and only leaving the
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 181 
 
 church at the hours when it was closed. She 
 cared little for personal comfort and still less 
 for society. But she had been from the first 
 greatly drawn to Mrs. Leslie, and before her 
 illness would occasionally come to her rooms 
 in the evening, her conversation, always 
 unworldly and tinged with a certain blunt 
 originality, making her a welcome guest. Her 
 isolation was entirely owing to her devotion, 
 and appealed therefore doubly to Mrs. Leslie's 
 charity. The sick room resembled the cell of 
 a religious in its simplicity ; there was not 
 even a curtain to the window to protect the 
 invalid from the fierce glare, which was in- 
 tolerable. Mrs. Leslie suggested that a 
 curtain should be put up, but Miss Taafe 
 answered in the blunt way in which her 
 mortifications were disguised : 
 
 "What do I want a curtain for? Can I 
 not close my eyes if I dislike the light?" 
 
 Thanks to the good nursing, she got over 
 the danger and recovered, and gratitude 
 cemented the friendship between her nurse 
 and the Taafe family. She afterwards went 
 to live in a convent, and Mr. Palmer occupied 
 the now vacant rooms in the Via Tor de' 
 Specchi. 
 
 Mr. Palmer was a very valuable friend to 
 have in Rome. He knew of all the best 
 opportunities for seeing things of interest, and
 
 1 82 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 was always ready to help others to avail 
 themselves of such opportunities. At one time 
 he would organise a visit to the Catacombs, 
 under the guidance of Padre Marchi ; at 
 another, to the recently discovered basilica of 
 St. Alexander, with the Cavaliere Rossi as 
 cicerone ; or to the Colisseum by moonlight or 
 to the Capitol, where by appointment Padre 
 Secchi would show him and his friends the 
 wonders of the heavens through the powerful 
 telescope belonging to the Observatory. If 
 Ostia was to be visited, Mr. Palmer would be 
 ready with the history of the place inter- 
 spersed with anecdotes, stories of St. 
 Augustine and St. Monica, odds and ends 
 of archaeological lore suited to the capacity of 
 his hearers. Learned though he was, he was 
 never pedantic, and delighted in sharing his 
 knowledge. But he hated pretension, affecta- 
 tion or worldliness, and made no secret of 
 his dislike. A young lady, not a Catholic but 
 often to be seen in Catholic society that year, 
 was very much admired for her somewhat 
 showy style of beauty. Mr. Palmer was one 
 day heard to murmur a kind of dissent from 
 what was being said in praise of her looks. 
 Some one put the direct question to him : 
 " Mr. Palmer, do you not agree in thinking 
 Miss So-and-so very handsome?" He an- 
 swered almost fiercely : " No, I never could
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 183 
 
 see anything to admire in her. I can't bear 
 the way she swivels her great black eyes 
 about." 
 
 He enjoyed the pleasant evenings at Mrs. 
 Leslie's after working hard all day at his 
 book on Egyptian Chronology, sometimes 
 playing chess, or listening with Father Cole- 
 ridge to a symphony of Beethoven's or 
 Haydn's which he would laconically pro- 
 nounce to be "nice." These gatherings took 
 place in what the Romans call the prima 
 sera, as most of the English colony elected to 
 dine early, and Cardinal Howard and the 
 students from the Academia would often drop 
 in, when the conversation would take a serious 
 or an amusing tone. 
 
 Liberata never could master English names, 
 so she announced them with a description. 
 Father Coleridge was ushered in with a 
 slight wave of her hand over her head 
 and the words Valto. Father Wynne she 
 called il piu alto with a higher wave, and 
 Father Talbot was Falttssitno with a still 
 higher wave. Sometimes Charlotte would 
 give Mr. Palmer an open volume of Dickens, 
 saying, " Now, Mr. Palmer, you are to read 
 that!' while she and her mother would sit 
 quietly at work and enjoy seeing him shake 
 with laughter. 
 
 The winter of 1854-5 was one of excep-
 
 184 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 tional privileges, in honour of the Immaculate 
 Conception. Unusual facilities were afforded 
 for seeing the great relics, and on account of 
 the large number of bishops and prelates then 
 in Rome, ceremonies that would otherwise 
 have taken place in the Sistine Chapel were 
 performed in St. Peter's. This was notably 
 the case on the occasion of the Qitaranf ore 
 in Advent, and of the Blessing of the Candles 
 on the feast of the Purification, when Pius IX. 
 was carried on the seda gestatoria, holding his 
 enormous wax taper aloft and preceded by 
 a vast number of bishops from all countries, 
 including Archbishop Polding, Dr. Hughes of 
 New York, Dr. Walsh of Halifax, Mgr. de 
 Goesbriant, and many others, known personally 
 to Mrs. Leslie. Cardinal Cullen presented 
 her and her daughter to the Holy Father in 
 a private audience. Scarcely had they crossed 
 the threshold when the Pope called to his 
 " carissimo figlio " to come near him, and 
 those whom he introduced were affectionately 
 welcomed. 
 
 Conspicuous among the strangers at all 
 the great religious functions was an American 
 lady, a Mrs. Peter of Cincinnati, not yet 
 a Catholic but an intelligent and sympathetic 
 observer of all that was passing around her. 
 Her object in coming to Italy was to collect 
 pictures and other works of art for the
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 185 
 
 " Ladies' Academy of Art " in her native city. 
 When she arrived she was possessed of the 
 ordinary Protestant misconceptions regarding 
 the Catholic religion, but being remarkably 
 fair-minded, when personal observation con- 
 vinced her of the injustice of the usual accu- 
 sations brought against the Church, she at 
 once set about correcting in her letters to her 
 friends the prejudices in which she and they 
 had been brought up. Moreover, having 
 a natural love of fair play she was inclined 
 to interpret favourably what she did not yet 
 understand in Catholic devotions and practices. 
 While she was in Rome letters reached her 
 containing the information that the funds on 
 which she had counted to meet the expense 
 of her purchases for the above - mentioned 
 institution were no longer available, and the 
 primary object of her visit to Italy had to 
 be abandoned. But another and far more 
 engrossing matter had begun to occupy her 
 attention. 
 
 Mrs. Peter's clear, observant mind and 
 right intention gradually brought her to the 
 threshold of the Catholic Church, but it was 
 not without intense suffering that she recog- 
 nized the necessity of breaking with the re- 
 ligious traditions of the past. At a point 
 where her convictions were on the side of 
 Catholic truth, but her courage to take the
 
 1 86 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 now necessary step scarcely equal to the 
 effort, Archbishop Hughes suggested that she 
 should make a retreat at the Convent of the 
 Sacred Heart. She consented to this, and 
 here at the Trinita dei Monti she was intro- 
 duced to Mrs. Leslie, who better perhaps 
 than any one could enter into her difficulties 
 and sympathize with a struggle in which the 
 associations of a lifetime, family affections, 
 doubts and fears were so many temptations 
 threatening to make shipwreck of a strong 
 and noble nature. At this time Mrs. Peter 
 wrote to an intimate friend a letter of which 
 the following is an extract giving a remark- 
 ably clear account of her position : 
 
 I have for years been restless and unhappy on finding that 
 the views held and taught by our Church (the Anglican) could 
 not satisfy me, and my unhappiness arose from my own self- 
 accusation because I was not satisfied. Many others, I doubt 
 not, live and die with the same habitual self-condemnation, yet 
 never suspect the cause. And now as I come nearer to the clear 
 light of truth I wonder that I should always have been so near 
 and yet never have discovered it. ... I have had excellent 
 opportunities to learn, and fearful interior difficulties to overcome 
 before I could separate my better judgment from the mass of error 
 which overlaid it. I say nothing of the struggles in my con- 
 science, my terrible fears of being misguided by illusions, but 
 which seem gradually to be dissipated by the light of a clearer 
 faith. 
 
 The " illusions " vanished at last like the 
 morning mist before the vivifying rays of the 
 noontide sun, and Mrs. Peter became a fer-
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 187 
 
 vent Catholic. At the ceremony of her 
 conditional baptism, Mrs. Leslie was her god- 
 mother, and the two became devoted friends, 
 Mrs. Peter going over again with her the 
 hallowed places of Christian Rome, seeing the 
 things she had seen before with a larger, 
 clearer vision and a superadded sense of their 
 inner meaning and beauty. Together they 
 made the pilgrimage to Subiaco ; together 
 they assisted at the most affecting of all 
 Rome's solemnities, the procession of Corpus 
 Domini through the colonnades of St. Peter's, 
 Pius IX. carrying the Blessed Sacrament, 
 borne along above the heads of the kneeling 
 crowds. In an audience with his Holiness 
 the Pope was so much interested in all that 
 Mrs. Peter told him about the state of re- 
 ligion in America, and of her own plans for 
 its advancement by means of her ample for- 
 tune and the devotion of the rest of her life 
 to its cause, that the interview surpassed in 
 length all that was customary. At last, with- 
 out waiting for the Pope to dismiss her, she 
 took leave of him, apologising for having tres- 
 passed so long on his time, a solecism which 
 no doubt amused the Holy Father greatly. 
 
 In a subsequent visit to Rome Mrs. Peter 
 found herself in the midst of a conclave of 
 Cardinals ; Pio Nono perceived her not far 
 from his throne and remarked to those
 
 i88 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 nearest to him with evident satisfaction, 
 " Ecco la nostra cara Signora Peter ! " On 
 another occasion she was kneeling in front 
 of a rail with a number of other people to 
 receive the Pope's blessing. In her emotion 
 she dropped the staff which she at that time 
 used to lean upon when walking, and it fell 
 on the other side of the rail, startling his 
 Holiness. He looked round, and seeing what 
 had happened stooped and picked up the staff, 
 saying pleasantly as he handed it to its owner, 
 " Signora Peter, you have done what all 
 Europe has failed to do you have stopped 
 me in my career." 
 
 Mrs. Peter was again in Rome during the 
 Vatican Council, and, as a member of the 
 American pilgrimage, presented the homage of 
 the Catholics of the United States to the Holy 
 Father. On each occasion of her visits he 
 welcomed her in the warmest manner and sent 
 her back loaded with gifts, the tokens of his 
 high esteem and fatherly affection. Her good 
 works in the land of her birth, extending over 
 a period of twenty-three years from 1854, the 
 year of her conversion, to 1877, the year of her 
 death, were prodigious. By dint of unflagging 
 energy, perseverance and lavish generosity she 
 succeeded in founding convents of the Good 
 Shepherd, of the Franciscan Order, of the Little 
 Sisters of the Poor, of the Sisters of Mercy, and
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. ^9 
 
 of the Sacred Heart in Cincinnati. She was the 
 head and life and soul of innumerable pious 
 institutions and charitable organizations, and 
 during the war in the United States she became 
 a second providence to the sick and wounded, 
 neither obstacles nor ingratitude, doubt nor 
 suspicion, tempting her to look back when once 
 she had laid her hand to any work. 
 
 Some disappointments fell to her lot ; she 
 was denied the happiness so ardently longed for 
 of seeing her beloved children within the fold, 
 and this was an abiding sorrow ; but the general 
 impression which she produced on all who came 
 in contact with her was one of intense joy joy 
 in her faith and in her works. She was actively 
 engaged in planning out still further spheres of 
 usefulness when she was called to inherit her 
 reward. Her death, apparently the result of 
 a slight accident, left many to mourn her loss, 
 in society, among the poor, and in the fourteen 
 religious communities which she had founded. 
 
 Another convert helped into the Church by 
 Mrs. Leslie during her first visit to Rome was 
 
 a Mrs. W . Her husband had already 
 
 become a Catholic, but she was kept back by 
 timidity and a certain want of resolution more 
 than by any remaining difficulties. She 
 accompanied him to Mass and other religious 
 ceremonies, but although she seemed to believe 
 all that was necessary she could not make up
 
 1 9 o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 her mind to the plunge. On one occasion she 
 was greatly distressed to hear the peasants in 
 a country church whisper to each other as she 
 passed them, " Poveretta, non e cristiana ! " 
 Father Coleridge applied to Mrs. Leslie for 
 a suitable book to lend her, and after hearing 
 
 Mrs. W 's state of mind described, she chose 
 
 one of the Clifton Tales. Father Coleridge car- 
 ried it straight to the table d'hote at the Minerva 
 where the lady was staying and said, " Mrs. 
 
 W , I have brought a book which will 
 
 exactly suit you, ^Winefride Jones, the Very 
 Ignorant Girl.'" Mrs. W- - took the book with 
 great sweetness and humility, and soon became 
 a fervent Catholic, not called indeed to play 
 a conspicuous part like Mrs. Peter, but to edify 
 many by a life of hidden virtue, patience in 
 suffering and fidelity in small things. 
 
 When the summer heat had driven away 
 most of the foreigners, Mrs. Leslie left Rome 
 to return to Scotland, taking with her as far 
 as Marseilles Madame de Ferron, one of those 
 ladies who had accompanied her from Lyons, 
 and who was a great invalid. They went by 
 sea as the least fatiguing hot-weather route, and 
 remained at Marseilles long enough to visit the 
 celebrated sanctuary of Notre Dame de la Garde, 
 proceeding the same day to Avignon. The 
 Hotel de 1'Europe had been strongly recom- 
 mended by friends in Rome, and the landlady
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. igi 
 
 turned out to be a second Liberata in point of 
 kind-heartedness, piety and charity. The hotel, 
 which was a model of good order and neatness, 
 was very full, for numbers of French, English 
 and Russian officers were returning from the 
 Crimea. Among the Russians was the cele- 
 brated Prince Menschikoff. Besides these were 
 the homeward-bound tourists from the south, 
 usually to be met with at that season. The 
 next morning, to the dismay of many of the 
 travellers, it was found that none could leave 
 Avignon, as no train for the North had come 
 in, and it was feared that an accident had 
 happened. Later on the news came that 
 a bridge over the railway had been swept away 
 by the rising of the Rhone. To Mrs. Leslie 
 and her daughter the delay caused no great 
 inconvenience, but as the day wore on the 
 townspeople grew anxious. The rain came 
 down in torrents, and the military were hastily 
 sent out to strengthen the dykes and ramparts 
 near the river. An open-air banquet given to 
 the officers of various nationalities then in the 
 town came to a sudden end. Soon cries of 
 terror were heard ; people ran wildly hither and 
 thither panic-stricken. Forty metres of the 
 river wall had given way, and the Rhone rushed 
 into the town, carrying all before it. The turbid 
 waters could be seen from the hotel windows 
 rising every moment higher. The landlady
 
 192 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 never lost her presence of mind ; she forgot 
 nothing, did the best for everyone, and even 
 remembered the aviary of little birds in the 
 courtyard, unlocked it and set the inmates free. 
 But soon, like Noah's dove, they flew in at the 
 windows, finding no resting-place anywhere 
 outside in the world of water. The black 
 muddy stream filled the basement and the 
 ground-floor, and continued to rise till it reached 
 the entresol, then the first-floor. From the 
 second-floor landing three dry steps were to 
 be seen, all the rest below being dark water. 
 The travellers had removed their luggage to the 
 top of the house, and were obliged to make the 
 best of the accommodation left by the invading 
 waters. The scene from the windows was not 
 easily to be forgotten. People in boats, on 
 rafts or in tubs steered themselves along as well 
 as they could, trying to reach their homes or 
 put their goods in a place of safety. The 
 contents of shops, suites of furniture, meat, 
 vegetables and household stuff were swept along 
 the street, now a deep and rushing river. With 
 them came hundreds of rats swimming or 
 drowning. Presently large boats passed along 
 filled with soldiers and engineers, testing the 
 strength and condition of the buildings to resist 
 the rush of water. As the day wore on the 
 current flowed less rapidly, the water found its 
 level, and there was hope that the flood would
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. I93 
 
 subside without further damage. But the 
 inhabitants of the city had to remain for some 
 time in their upper storeys, many of them in 
 dire want of food and of water fit to drink. All 
 the first night the greater part of Avignon was 
 in total darkness, the street-lamps being of 
 course submerged. Early the next morning 
 boats plied about distributing aid. The weather 
 was brighter, the water clearer, and from 
 a corner room commanding views of cross- 
 streets the Bishop and his clergy were seen in 
 small barks carrying necessaries from house to 
 house. It would have made a fine picture had 
 any genre artist been on the spot. Food was 
 brought by steamer from Marseilles, and the 
 landlady of the Hotel de 1' Europe managed 
 in some miraculous way to cook it for her 
 numerous household; but how it was done 
 remained a mystery, the kitchen being deep 
 under water. Her politeness and good temper 
 kept up the spirits of her guests and underlings, 
 and barring a little confusion, such as Prince 
 Menschikoff mistaking Mrs. Leslie's bedroom 
 for his own, there were few contretemps. 
 
 But the greatest anxiety was felt concerning 
 the fate of the Jesuit Father, who had preached 
 the Lenten sermons in Rome that year, at 
 San Luigi dei Francesi. It was known that 
 he had gone to remove the Blessed Sacrament 
 from a church that could not possibly escape
 
 i 9 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 inundation, had taken refuge in a room over 
 the sacristy, the window of which was at so 
 awkward a height that it was scarcely possible 
 to reach it from below, while all means of escape 
 from above were cut off, and he was himself 
 without food. The ingenuity of the landlady of 
 the Hotel de 1' Europe invented a way of intro- 
 ducing supplies through the window, and as 
 soon as he could be rescued he was brought 
 in a boat to the hotel. Sunday came, but to get 
 to Mass was impossible, and all the Catholics 
 in the hotel assembled to offer the Holy 
 Sacrifice in spirit as best they could. Gradually 
 the flood subsided, and at last the higher part 
 of the town could be reached partly in carts 
 partly in boats. The Leslies made their way 
 up to the Rocher where the ancient palace of 
 the Popes still stands, and viewed from thence 
 such a scene of desolation as it does not often 
 fall to one's eyes to witness. A vast expanse 
 of water stretched over the whole plain ; only 
 the tops of poplar-trees and the tallest chimneys 
 might be seen above the flood, while the Rocher 
 itself was covered with a heterogeneous mass of 
 carriages, household furniture in vans, livestock 
 and all kinds of provisions that had been 
 brought up there for safety. Communication 
 with the North having been re-established, there 
 was of course a general exodus from the city 
 of waters. Mrs. Leslie and her daughter were
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 195 
 
 among the first to leave in a railway omnibus 
 well filled with passengers. Before long the 
 driver recommended the travellers to put their 
 feet up on to the seats, and scarcely had he 
 done so when the horses began swimming and 
 plunging and the omnibus became a kind of 
 large bath. Considering the above circumstances 
 it is not to be wondered at that Avignon did 
 not leave a very pleasing impression. 
 
 The rest of the summer was passed in visit- 
 ing relations and friends in France, England 
 and Scotland, and when the first cold weather 
 was felt in Paris, after their return thither, 
 Mrs. Leslie hastened her preparations for 
 taking Charlotte back to Rome. Before start- 
 ing she one day met an old friend, Admiral 
 Belcher, who enquired about their route and 
 asked what day they intended to sail from 
 Marseilles. On hearing their plans he said : 
 " Well, you can go on board that evening 
 without fear, though there will be a heavy gale. 
 At ten o'clock it will go down, and the voyage 
 will be calm. From my experience of the 
 moon's influence, I know as an old seaman 
 that it will be so," and he quoted several 
 examples in favour of his theory. His predic- 
 tion as to the gale proved true. It was blowing 
 hard when they reached Marseilles, and towards 
 evening the wind became so terrific that all the 
 intending passengers by the boat were afraid
 
 196 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 to venture on board and elected to remain where 
 they were for the night. Mrs. Leslie, in spite of 
 her faith in the old admiral's weather lore, did 
 the same, but exactly at the hour he had fore- 
 told, the storm ceased and a beautiful star-light 
 night followed, which made every one regret 
 not having gone by the boat. The service 
 between Marseilles and Civita Vecchia was 
 far less frequent then than now, and instead 
 of waiting for another boat, Mrs. Leslie took 
 the Riviera route to Genoa, travelling by 
 vetturino from thence to Florence, with two 
 English ladies, a Miss Roskell and a Miss 
 Plowden. This mode of travelling was the 
 most enjoyable of any. In Italy at every halt 
 there is something interesting to be seen 
 a church, a remarkable picture, a lovely view, 
 as the case may be, and to be able to stop at 
 leisure, to visit the Blessed Sacrament, hear 
 Mass, and enjoy the freedom which travelling 
 by vetturino secured, more than compensated 
 for bad inns, poor fare and the want of home 
 comforts. 
 
 At Florence some English Protestants at 
 the table d'h6te were one day heard to speak 
 most offensively and most untruly of Dr. 
 Newman, accusing him of having remained in 
 the Church of England to secure its emolu- 
 ments long after he was a Papist in heart 
 and to a great extent in practice. Mrs. Leslie's
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. i 97 
 
 travelling companions begged her to contradict 
 the statement, which although not addressed to 
 her or to any of her party, had been spoken so 
 unnecessarily loud that it was unmistakably 
 intended for the four Catholic ladies at table. 
 It would have seemed wrong to let such an 
 accusation go unchallenged, and Mrs. Leslie, 
 who was ever ready to defend the absent and 
 to forget herself whenever the Catholic cause 
 was attacked, carefully prepared what she 
 wished to say, and with perfect dignity and 
 politeness of form made so able and convincing 
 a defence of the maligned convert as to cover 
 his slanderers with confusion. 
 
 The journey from Florence to Rome occu- 
 pied a week. The travellers stopped at Cortona, 
 at Perugia, and at every other place of interest 
 on their way. The succeeding winter was an 
 extremely happy and peaceful one, a second 
 visit to the Eternal City being perhaps always 
 a source of greater joy than the first. The 
 excitement of novelty gives place to a more 
 peaceful feeling and there is less of curiosity 
 and more of devotion in revisiting the sacred 
 places. 
 
 Pius IX. was still free, and often on a sunny 
 afternoon he might be seen walking outside the 
 walls with a small group of attendants, among 
 whom was Mgr. Talbot nearly always beside 
 him. The papal carriage would be following
 
 198 ELEANOR LESLIE, 
 
 slowly at a little distance. Mrs. Leslie 
 delighted to meet him thus, to stop and kneel 
 as he drew near, to see his kind smile of 
 recognition, and to hear him say in his fatherly 
 tones, " Iddio ti benedica, figlioula mia." She 
 had the happiness, with her daughter, of assist- 
 ing at his Mass and of receiving Communion 
 from his hand on the day he left Rome for his 
 tour through the Pontifical States and Tuscany. 
 Afterwards they witnessed the touching affec- 
 tion of the crowd gathered in the great square 
 of St. Peter's to take leave of him. Many 
 were weeping aloud at the thought of the 
 separation and the fear lest some evil should 
 befall their beloved pontiff during his absence. 
 None who saw the faithful Romans that 
 morning, or on the day when they went out 
 to meet and greet him on his return and heard 
 their enthusiastic welcome could ever admit 
 that they were indifferent to the Pope. 
 
 During a retreat, made by the mother and 
 daughter in the spring of 1856, Charlotte 
 Leslie began to feel the premonitory symptoms 
 of an illness which proved to be a serious 
 attack of pleurisy, and declared itself im- 
 mediately on her return to the Via Tor de' 
 Specchi. Her convalescence was long and 
 tedious, and left great delicacy behind it. The 
 greater, therefore, was the need for care, 
 in choosing a suitable villeggiatura for the
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 199 
 
 summer months. After much deliberation 
 Mrs. Leslie agreed to join the Contessa 
 Borgogelli and her daughters, who were going 
 with Miss Martha Taafe, the Contessas sister, 
 to Spoleto. One reason for the choice of this 
 place was its reputation for salubrity, the 
 cholera, which was causing ravages in many 
 parts of Italy, being hitherto unknown at 
 Spoleto, and the beauty of its scenery, the easy 
 distance from Rome, and the facility with 
 which Assisi, Montefalco and other interesting 
 places might be visited from thence, added 
 weighty inducements. The party left Rome 
 on June 22, the driver of the vetturino 
 promising to be at Narni by nightfall. The 
 weather was bad and the roads were heavy, 
 so that their progress was very slow. It 
 was growing late when the carriage ceased 
 the melancholy trundle which it had kept up 
 for some hours, and came to a sudden halt 
 before an unpromising roadside inn. The 
 driver announced calmly that his horses would 
 not reach Narni that night, and that the ladies 
 must put up at the inn. In vain Countess 
 Borgogelli remonstrated. With Italian cool- 
 ness the man unharnessed his horses, and as- 
 sured the travellers that they would be molto 
 contente with their quarters. There was no 
 appeal, and they entered a dark, bare kitchen 
 with a cavernous chimney, in which lay heaps
 
 200 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 of wood ashes, the remains of the whole 
 winter's fuel, making a comfortable bed for 
 three ugly dogs that were sleeping there. The 
 landlord appeared, looking very wild and ex- 
 cited, as he asked what their requirements 
 were. When told that seven beds were 
 wanted, he clutched his black locks with a 
 gesture of despair, and declared the impossi- 
 bility of supplying them. He ran about ejacu- 
 lating, " Sette letti ! Santissima Vergine, 
 sette letti ! " At last he calmed down 
 sufficiently to understand that he was wanted 
 to show what accommodation he could offer. 
 He exhibited three bedrooms with brick floors, 
 one bed in each, made up of planks laid on 
 tressles, a palliasse of Indian corn leaves and 
 a mattress. The breadth of these beds would 
 have allowed of four persons sleeping abreast. 
 Contessa Borgogelli and her eldest daughter 
 Polissena took possession of one, Miss Taafe 
 and her niece Caterina of another, Mrs. Leslie 
 and Charlotte of the third. The maid was to 
 have a bed found for her. The washing ap- 
 paratus was as primitive as the beds, and the 
 demand for seven towels was evidently con- 
 sidered as exorbitant as the first. But after 
 much parleying and gesticulating on the part 
 of the landlord, who saw that no abatement in 
 the number would be made, he produced seven 
 towels, and after another short delay supper
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 201 
 
 was served for seven in the kitchen. At the 
 far end of the long table, in the dark, bare 
 room, some waggoners were having their meal, 
 and no fewer than ten famished dogs prowled 
 round the table, poking their noses into the 
 plates, snapping at every mouthful, pushing 
 in between the guests, and nearly upsetting 
 the dishes. There was no inducement to sit 
 up after supper; nothing was to be seen from 
 the window but a bit of ruined castle and 
 some fields, and the party retired at once to 
 their respective rooms. As there was no 
 fastening to any of the doors, they barricaded 
 them with their luggage and some of the 
 scanty furniture, and when they were ready 
 for bed found it prudent to clamber in 
 simultaneously, from opposite sides, as the 
 whole structure threatened to tilt over with- 
 out some such well-combined movement. 
 
 The next day, in bright weather, they 
 reached Spoleto, which fully realized their 
 expectations as to natural beauty and other 
 advantages. The party was a happy one, 
 sufficiently numerous to be agreeable, and a 
 similarity of tastes made each other's society 
 delightful in the various expeditions which 
 were planned. One day, they went to Monte- 
 falco, a poor mountain village which did not 
 even boast of an inn, but contained a price- 
 less treasure in the Corpo Santo, the incor-
 
 202 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 rupt body of St. Clare. They saw it lying 
 in its calm beauty, not dark like that of St. 
 Rose of Viterbo, not even bronzed as St. Mary 
 Magdalen of Pazzi, but quite white, the feet 
 only being a little discoloured. They went to 
 Assisi and the Portiuncula, and in their daily 
 walks visited the churches, convents and 
 shrines nearer to Spoleto ; the spirit of St. 
 Francis, his simplicity, his gentleness even to 
 animals still seemed to pervade the country 
 side. On one occasion, the three girls with 
 their maid set out to visit a monastery on the 
 top of a high hill. They stopped at a mill to 
 enquire whether they could hire a donkey to 
 help them up the ascent. The miller's wife 
 agreed to let them have one, and while they 
 were waiting a flock of sheep came by. She 
 gave them each a handful of salt, and the 
 animals crowded round them, licking their 
 hands and making friends with them, evidently 
 accustomed to the kindest treatment and ex- 
 hibiting not the slightest fear. Towards even- 
 ing, the girls were walking in the upper town, 
 when they saw two women talking to each 
 other excitedly. Polissena's quick ears over- 
 heard one saying to the other that a case of 
 cholera had broken out in their street. In a 
 few days it was public news, and a panic en- 
 sued among the peasantry. Mrs. Leslie and 
 her friends decided that it would be useless to
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 203 
 
 leave only to be placed in quarantine, and 
 made up their minds to wait. But the epidemic 
 increased daily, and at last the authorities for- 
 bade the tolling of bells at funerals, so great 
 was the terror that reigned. A cart was sent 
 round every evening to collect the corpses 
 and bury them at night outside the town in 
 a cemetery blessed for the occasion. The 
 weather was intensely hot, but in order to 
 purify the air, huge piles of brushwood were 
 stacked at the corners of the streets, and every 
 night the whole town was illuminated by 
 blazing bonfires, the sparks flying in at the 
 open windows, to the great risk of setting the 
 houses on fire. Fruit and ices were prohibited, 
 and the doctors and priests were worn out 
 with attendance on the sick and dying. The 
 cholera did not, however, prevent the arrival 
 at Spoleto of numbers of pilgrims, bound for 
 Assisi, to gain the Portiuncula Indulgence 
 on August 2, the Perdono di San Francesco. 
 Many, as could be seen by their costumes, 
 came from the kingdom of Naples, and these 
 weary, footsore pilgrims slept for the most 
 part in the streets or under some archway. If 
 they should fall a prey to the ravages of the 
 cholera, at least they would be well prepared 
 to die after visiting Assisi and Santa Maria 
 degli Angeli. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie's practical common-sense was
 
 204 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 of great help while the cholera raged. She 
 always knew exactly what to do for the 
 sufferers, and never lost her head. She sent 
 to Rome for stores of arrowroot for the con- 
 valescents and those who were in the early 
 stages of the disease ; and to distribute and 
 administer remedies became her daily work 
 of charity. Peaceful, and even cheerful in the 
 midst of the prevailing terror, she also exercised 
 a beneficial effect upon her surroundings by 
 her calm and equable temperament, a quiet 
 mind being the greatest preservative from 
 danger. One evening, after their return from a 
 walk, Countess Borgogelli became suddenly 
 ill. The doctor at once prescribed twelve 
 powders of flower of zinc, a remedy which had 
 been tried with great success that year at 
 Ancona and other places. The little party 
 gathered that night round the supper-table was 
 more grave than usual. Polissena and Caterina 
 soon went to replace their aunt by their 
 mother's bedside, and in crossing the landing 
 heard moans in the hall below. It appeared 
 that one of the hotel servants had imprudently 
 walked to the top of the Somma in the great 
 heat, had returned exhausted, and had fallen 
 a prey to the epidemic. All remedies proved 
 unavailing ; it was a case of cholera foudroyant, 
 and the man died before morning. Five other 
 persons in the hotel were attacked that night.
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 205 
 
 but recovered. A poor girl in a neighbouring 
 street happened to go to the window as the 
 dead cart was passing, was seized with a 
 shivering fit, and was dead in a few hours. 
 Public prayers and processions were ordered, 
 and at last a storm accompanied by heavy rain 
 cooled and purified the air and arrested the 
 further progress of the disease. 
 
 Towards the end of August it was as- 
 certained that there would be no difficulty in 
 returning to Rome, and no delay, beyond a 
 halt for fumigation at Narni. A carriage was 
 engaged for the journey, and the party set 
 out, Mrs. Leslie intending to go to Albano, 
 the Borgogellis to some other country place 
 till October. At the foot of the steep hill on 
 which Narni is built the carriage was stopped, 
 the luggage taken down, and the travellers were 
 ordered by a number of police officers to follow 
 it into a small hut and unlock the trunks. 
 They were then hermetically closed in, the 
 door was locked, and they were not allowed 
 to emerge till they were half blinded and nearly 
 choked by the thick smoke of some very power- 
 ful disinfectant. They were then suffered to 
 continue their journey. After spending one 
 night in the Via Tor de' Specchi, Mrs. Leslie 
 and Charlotte proceeded to Albano, to pay a 
 long promised visit to the Tollemaches. At 
 Albano they found a whole colony of English
 
 2 o6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 friends, among whom were Lady Fitzgerald, 
 Mr. Palmer and Lord Clifford, with whom they 
 made the pilgrimage to the Sanctuary of Our 
 Lady of Galloro, as well as excursions to other 
 places of interest among the Alban hills, pro- 
 mising themselves a longer sojourn on some 
 future occasion. During the following winter 
 in Rome, Mrs. Leslie's charitable offices were 
 claimed by Miss Gladstone, who had always 
 been deeply attached to her since an illness 
 she had had in Edinburgh in 1848, when 
 Mrs. Leslie had nursed her with great devo- 
 tion. They had often met since then in London, 
 Scotland and Rome, and Miss Gladstone had 
 introduced her to the celebrated Dominican, 
 Pere Besson, for whom she had the most intense 
 veneration, as well as for the whole Dominican 
 Order. She subsequently entered a Dominican 
 convent in Rome, but the attempt at religious 
 life was beyond her strength, and when laid 
 prostrate by some dangerous kind of fever 
 she sent for Mrs. Leslie. Thanks mainly to 
 her care, the patient recovered, but to her own 
 great regret was obliged to leave the convent. 
 As during the two previous winters, Father 
 Wynne and Father Coleridge were frequent even- 
 ing visitors at Mrs. Leslie's. They looked upon 
 her as a mother a way many people had and 
 they both confided to her their intention of 
 entering the Society of Jesus. It will easily
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME, 207 
 
 be imagined, that such an intention awoke her 
 tenderest sympathies and constituted a fresh 
 bond between them. The two young priests 
 were devoted friends and companions, Father 
 Coleridge having an immense admiration for 
 Father Wynne, who to a large, grand, and almost 
 royal manner, united great warmth of heart, 
 generosity, and rare mental endowments. He 
 was a convert of the Newman school, and had 
 given up a large fortune, and his inheritance 
 to an estate, on becoming a priest. No one was 
 more careful about his dress, which in his 
 worldly days was always exquisite, and contri- 
 buted with his fine face and figure, his charming 
 manner and delightful conversation to make 
 him a notable personage in society. One 
 evening, as the two friends were leaving the 
 house in the Via Tor de' Specchi, Mrs. Leslie 
 gave Father Coleridge a light, fearing that there 
 might be none at the bottom of the stairs. As 
 he took it he looked affectionately at his com- 
 panion, saying, " I am not worthy to hold a 
 candle to Wynne." 
 
 On the day when they left Rome for England, 
 to put their design into execution, Mrs. Leslie 
 went, in motherly fashion, to see them off and 
 say a last "God speed" as they got into the 
 diligence. Father Coleridge had been of great 
 use to her in introducing her to the " Life of 
 our Lord" by Ludolph le Chartreux, a book
 
 2o8 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 which became the food of her daily medita- 
 tion. He used to say that he always con- 
 sidered he had done a good work when he 
 had persuaded anyone to adopt this book for 
 habitual use. He also gave her something of 
 his own devotion to St. Anne, the mother of 
 the Blessed Virgin. 
 
 When the time again came round for 
 choosing a summer resort Mrs. Leslie, remem- 
 bering the beautiful scenery of the Alban hills 
 and the freshness of the air, arranged to go 
 with her daughter to Castel Gandolfo. They 
 took some rooms commanding wide views of 
 the Campagna, the Mediterranean and Rome, 
 in the house of the Arciprete's sister, within 
 a few minutes' walk of the Duomo, the Pope's 
 summer palace, of Miss Plummer's pretty villa 
 on the edge of the lake, and of the old ilex 
 avenues, known as the galleria di sopra e 
 di sotto. 
 
 Mr. Palmer had chosen Rocca di Papa as 
 his summer residence, where he lodged in a 
 peasant's family, contenting himself he cared 
 nothing for comfort with their poor fare. 
 Oftener than not he supped on Indian corn 
 slightly roasted. Each member of the family 
 picked out the dry grains with his own fork 
 and ate them with a little sugar, salt or 
 butter. On Saturdays Mr. Palmer generally 
 went over to Castel Gandolfo, early in the
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 209 
 
 day, and remained till Monday. In the after- 
 noon he would ride to Galloro with Charlotte, 
 and after going to confession, they would re- 
 mount, ride round the lake of Nenni, or to 
 the Basilian Abbey of Grotta Ferrata, or call 
 on his Russian friend, young Princess Gar- 
 garin at Genzano. It was sometimes near 
 nightfall before they returned, when, fearing 
 that her mother would be anxious, Charlotte 
 would propose a canter. But Mr. Palmer never 
 would agree to this if they were near a vil- 
 lage or hamlet, objecting that it was very bad- 
 mannered to ride fast through a town, and 
 that no civilised people ever did so, except the 
 Greek Court at Athens, which always set off 
 at a hand gallop. 
 
 On Monday, when he returned to his her- 
 mitage for another week of study, the peasant, 
 his host, would arrive on an old horse to 
 fetch him, bringing a donkey for Mr. Palmer 
 to ride. Then a well filled basket of provisions 
 would be tied to the horse's saddle, for Mrs. 
 Leslie distrusted the regime to which he had 
 condemned himself, and did all she could to 
 supplement his meagre fare, fearing that his 
 health would break down. On these Mondays, 
 she and Charlotte accompanied him on foot, 
 as far as they could walk, the donkey being 
 taken in tow by the horse, while the peasant 
 sauntered along carelessly by the side of his
 
 2io ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 animals. Once the donkey tugged so violently 
 that the basket was thrown to the ground, 
 somewhat to the detriment of its contents. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie's apprehensions regarding Mr. 
 Palmer's health were not without foundation,, 
 and at each of his visits she grew more un- 
 easy. At last, one Sunday, he nearly fainted 
 during High Mass, and seemed ill all day. 
 The next day he was so much worse that 
 he was unfit to return to Rocca di Papa, 
 and finally yielded to the necessity of being 
 nursed. A serious illness laid him prostrate 
 for many weeks, during which time Mrs. 
 Leslie was not only his faithful and indefatig- 
 able nurse, but also his secretary. She com- 
 municated by letter with his nearest relations, 
 and gave them details of every stage of his 
 malady. Her anxiety increased as his state 
 became more alarming, and at last she sent 
 for Baron Schroeter, who was always to be 
 found at Rome, whatever the season might 
 be, and who was not only Mr. Palmer's 
 friend, but the friend of all who were in 
 trouble and in need of one. He came at 
 once, and his presence was a great relief, 
 although his opinion of the patient was not 
 encouraging. After seeing him, he exclaimed 
 in his broken English, "Palmer will die, yes, 
 he will die. But I do the right thing. I go> 
 back to Rome, and bring out Small."
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 21 r 
 
 Dr. Small was an English physician, whose 
 advice for all concerned it would be a satis- 
 faction to obtain, even if the doctor from 
 Albano in attendance on him were treating 
 his case suitably. The consultation was emi- 
 nently successful, and after some time anxiety 
 gave place to thankfulness, for " Palmer " did 
 not "die," but in due course got well. His 
 gratitude, and that of his people, especially of 
 his mother and brother, for all that Mrs. Leslie 
 had done for him may be imagined. 
 
 The history of the next winter is a touch- 
 ing chapter in the family records. Mr. Fal- 
 coner Atlee had written to his sister from 
 Paris that his son Albert's health was ex- 
 tremely delicate, that an attack of bronchitis 
 had left his lungs in a susceptible condition, 
 and that a winter in a southern climate was 
 judged advisable for him. The letter ended 
 with the request that Mrs. Leslie would under- 
 take the care of her nephew in Rome. Her 
 answer was not long delayed, and in Decem- 
 ber Albert Atlee, now a very tall, delicate- 
 looking youth of about twenty, joined his aunt 
 and cousin in the Via Tor de' Specchi. There 
 was little in the weary and somewhat queru- 
 lous valetudinarian to remind them of the 
 light-hearted boy of former days, but Char- 
 lotte ascertained that he still wore the medal 
 which she had given him five years before.
 
 212 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Beyond his having kept his promise in this, 
 there was little to encourage hope of his 
 conversion. He avoided any allusion to reli- 
 gious topics, and seemed unfavourably im- 
 pressed with the ceremonies and practices of 
 the Church that came under his notice. He 
 appeared to be irritated if his criticisms pro- 
 voked an explanation or any approach to an 
 argument, so that his doctor, fearing that 
 excitement might bring on hemorrhage from 
 the lungs, forbade the discussion of any sub- 
 ject bordering on controversy. Nevertheless, 
 he grew steadily worse, and on New Year's 
 Eve had a very bad hemorrhage, the cause 
 of which could be traced to no irritation what- 
 ever. His increasing weakness distressed him 
 greatly; he shrank from the prospect of death, 
 and was painfully affected by anything that 
 reminded him of it. Mrs. Leslie and her 
 daughter could only pray silently, while they 
 surrounded the poor boy with all that the 
 tenderest love and sympathy could devise to 
 cheer and comfort him. Mr. Palmer joined 
 them in all their prayers for his conversion, 
 and contrivances for his comfort, even giving 
 up his own room to the invalid. They made 
 novenas to St. Joseph, but March slipped 
 away leaving the situation unchanged. 
 
 "It will be for the month of May," they 
 said hopefully, and when Charlotte, who had
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 215 
 
 hitherto escaped the penalty to which so 
 many visitors to Rome fall a prey, was seized 
 with Roman fever, it was to her only some- 
 thing more that could be offered up for her 
 cousin's conversion. The saving of his soul 
 had become an all-absorbing intention. But 
 April was almost over when he became rest- 
 less, and announced his resolve to return to 
 Paris. He even engaged a courier to accom- 
 pany him, and made plans for starting im- 
 mediately, although he was totally unfit to 
 travel, and it seemed more than likely that he 
 would die on the road. The case was des- 
 perate, and Mrs. Leslie, who remembered 
 hearing in her visits among the poor of the 
 Trastevere that when they were in despair 
 they prayed to St. Jude, determined to make 
 a novena to St. Jude for this almost despaired- 
 of grace. Many of the English Catholics in 
 Rome joined in the novena. Before it ended, 
 Charlotte urged her mother to speak to 
 Albert on the subject nearest to their hearts. 
 Mrs. Leslie, after much deliberation, decided 
 that written words would be less likely to 
 excite or annoy him than any spoken ones, 
 however carefully chosen, and she accordingly 
 wrote : 
 
 ROME, April 25, 1858. 
 
 MY DEAREST ALBERT, Whilst I am waiting with the 
 idea that you may presently ring for me, I cannot resist writing 
 you a few lines, for my heart is indeed very earnestly and
 
 2i4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 affectionately preoccupied about you. Four months have 
 now elapsed since you came to Rome months of disappoint- 
 ment and suffering, during which your chief consolation has 
 been the attention and care of your medical friend. While we 
 naturally regret that his efforts and the climate have not been 
 crowned with the success we had desired and most fervently 
 prayed for, we can only submit to the overruling decrees of 
 Divine Providence, commend the results of the unknown future 
 to His all-wise and all-merciful disposal, and, since the present 
 alone is in our power, make the best use of it that we may be 
 able to do. And how is this to be done ? There is an old 
 saying : " Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst." 
 And what is really to "hope for the best" but to wish and 
 desire that the holy will of God may be done not in a vague 
 and general way, but in all things concerning ourselves, whether 
 as regards health or sickness, wealth or poverty, life or death ? 
 But what is essentially the will of God towards every living soul ? 
 It is, as the apostle says, " our sanctification," our becoming 
 holy, for if without faith "it is impossible to please God," so, 
 as the same apostle writes, " without holiness no man shall 
 see the Lord." 
 
 Just consider then, the supreme importance of a right faith 
 and a solid holiness, based on a foundation that shall not fail 
 us under any conceivable circumstance of trial and temptation, 
 being based on that eternal truth which is the same yesterday, 
 to-day and for ever. Our blessed Lord not only came to suffer 
 and to die for us, but to teach us, and He left us a Church, 
 the depository of His doctrine, which He commanded us to 
 obey. This Church must have certain attributes, and what- 
 ever separated sects may assume, and whatever pious opinions 
 may assert, these attributes can only meet in the one true 
 Church, which at the same time must be Catholic, Apostolic 
 and Holy. 
 
 You might have known more of the claims of the Church 
 upon your regard and obedience, since you have been here 
 (an opportunity granted to comparatively few of our countrymen), 
 but you rejected the simple offer I one day proposed to you 
 on the score of its consolations, and I have since refrained 
 trom pressing the subject. But now, my dear Albert, when 
 the day of our parting is drawing nigh, permit me to use
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME, 215 
 
 the privilege of a very near relative and of a very warm friend, 
 of one who has watched over you very anxiously for some 
 time, and who feels deeply interested in all that concerns your 
 welfare of soul and body, and who grieves that she has not 
 been able to do more for either. Permit me, I say, to urge you 
 to look into this all-important question now, without delay, 
 whilst so many opportunities and facilities surround you, whilst 
 in short, as our divine Master said, " it is called to-day," lest 
 the night overtake you, in which no man can work, and these 
 things shall be hidden from your eyes. 
 
 Justly viewed, this consideration is both easy and reasonable. 
 Be assured, you would be all the happier for it, and I believe 
 all the better, for even if it should please God to continue the 
 trial of your sickness, a true religion and the sacraments of the 
 Church would certainly support and cheer you. Even if you 
 were called to pass through the valley of the shadow of death 
 you would not be dismayed by the summons ; and were you 
 restored to health, you would be all the better able, having 
 learned to know God (where and how He has specially 
 appointed to make Himself known to his poor, weak, blind 
 and ignorant creatures) also to love Him and serve Him. And 
 having, by the help of His grace, loved and served Him here, 
 you would be united to Him in the joy of a blessed eternity. 
 
 Oh, my dear Albert, what a joy is this ! It is meant for 
 you; will you not have it? I pray that you may, and all 
 whom you love, and that without delay. May Almighty God 
 then dispose you so to seek that you may find, so to ask that you 
 may obtain, this pearl of great price, and evermore vouchsafe to 
 guide and guard and bless you. It is now late, so I hope, as 
 you have not rung, that you are sleeping, and will awake 
 refreshed. I will say "good night," and beg you to believe 
 me always with every good wish, 
 
 Your most affectionate aunt, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie read this letter to her daughter, 
 who was disappointed with it, exclaiming : 
 " Dearest mother, you could have written some- 
 thing far better and more convincing than that ! "
 
 2i 6 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 " It may be," her mother replied, " but I 
 mean to give it to him just as it is, because 
 I prayed so much about it before beginning." 
 
 The letter was placed that night on a table 
 in the young man's room, where he could not 
 fail to see it when he awoke. 
 
 The next morning he came to breakfast 
 as punctually as usual, looking moreover 
 brighter and more cheerful than his wont. 
 When his cousin had left the room, he said, 
 going straight to the point : 
 
 " Auntie, who is your confessor ? " 
 
 She told him that it was Padre Cardella, 
 an Italian Jesuit; and when Albert thereupon 
 enquired what kind of a man he was, and 
 whether he spoke English, she was able to 
 give the most satisfactory answers. 
 
 " I should like to see him, and have a talk 
 with him," he said next, adding, "not of 
 course with any idea of confession." Padre 
 Cardella was asked to call, and when he 
 came, was left alone with Albert. Two hours 
 passed, and he was still there. When at last 
 he left, the boy looked transformed. 
 
 "I told Padre Cardella all my difficulties," 
 he said, "and he put before me all the truths 
 of the Catholic religion, and I can accept them 
 all, and he is to return to receive me into the 
 Church, but he says he looks upon me as a 
 Catholic already." Beaming with his newly-
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 217 
 
 found happiness, his whole thoughts were now 
 intent on preparing himself for the step he 
 was about to take. Padre Cardella received 
 his abjuration, and gave him his first Com- 
 munion. Dr. Brown, Bishop of Shrewsbury, 
 came to confirm him a few days later. Of 
 his own accord, Albert sent for the courier, 
 and told him his services would not be re- 
 quired, as he intended to remain in Rome* 
 He wrote to his parents, told them that he 
 had become a Catholic, and had given up his 
 intention of returning to Paris. On receiving 
 this news, Mr. Atlee at once left for Rome. 
 He was shocked to observe the change 
 which disease had wrought in his son's looks, 
 but inexpressibly thankful to find him peaceful 
 and happy, even with the knowledge that he 
 was dying. All his horror of death had 
 disappeared with the fret and worry which 
 inaction had always caused him; and 
 when he had received extreme unction his old 
 light-heartedness and something of his boyish 
 fun returned. His intense love for his father 
 made Mr. Falconer Atlee's presence a joy to 
 him, and he never tired of hearing him speak 
 of his mother, his brother and sisters; but he 
 never expressed a regret for the sacrifice he 
 had made in not returning to Paris. All 
 sorrow, dread or pain seemed merged into 
 the perfect joy of faith, hope and charity, and
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Mr. Atiee was so persuaded that the change 
 in him was due to religion, that for a moment 
 his own scepticism seemed to waver. An ex- 
 tract from one of his letters to his elder son 
 will better show his state of mind than any 
 description : 
 
 Dr. Tramo has just been. He says to-day will be a bad 
 one, and what that means is now too evident. God grant that 
 it may be his last, for he suffers dreadfully. He has turned 
 Catholic, and is to receive the last Sacraments presently. He is 
 tranquil and prays for his release. " I am brise" he says, 
 " from head to foot," and " Heaven and my poor, dear mother 
 alone engage my thoughts." Your aunt and Chattie's devotion 
 to him surpass all description. He is patient, thankful and full 
 of thoughtfulness. No alarm, no anxiety. With regard to his 
 conversion no unfair influence has been used far from it. It 
 came upon him spontaneously, slowly, and so manifest has been 
 its solace to him, that it almost persuades me to be a Christian. 
 He has no excitement, but quiet, philosophical serenity. I ask 
 him again and again if he would wish to have his mother here. 
 He says, " No, no ; it would be too much for her, too much for 
 me. Better as it is ; of that I am as certain as that I am dying. 
 I would scarcely trust myself to die in her arms, for it would 
 break her dear, dear heart. But she and I are to meet again." 
 I had no idea that he possessed feelings of such exquisite 
 tenderness. 
 
 On May 18 Charlotte was so ill from 
 Roman fever that she too received the last 
 Sacraments, and a nursing Sister was engaged 
 to attend her. The next day she was better, 
 it being the day of interval between the fits 
 of tertian ague ; but after rising as usual 
 Albert became faint, and a marked change 
 came over him. Father Cardella was hastily
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 219 
 
 sent for. While he went to fetch the Blessed 
 Sacrament, Charlotte prepared the altar, and 
 in a short time the ringing of the church bells 
 announced that the Santissimo had come forth. 
 In those days a devout crowd accompanied 
 the Blessed Sacrament to the house of the 
 sick, and remained praying outside while it was 
 within. Albert could hear the bells and the 
 procession passing through the Palazzo Cam- 
 pitelli into the quiet street as he sat on the 
 couch, dressed with scrupulous neatness, his 
 energy never having allowed him to fall into 
 the negligent habits so excusable in an invalid. 
 The bright, sunny drawing-room had nothing 
 of the aspect of a sick-room, and through 
 the open windows the sweet May air floated 
 in, loaded with the scent of orange blossoms, 
 and of all the thousand flowers which make 
 Rome fragrant at that season. As Father 
 Cardella entered, Mr. Falconer Atlee knelt 
 respectfully with the others ; the priest said 
 a few words and some short prayers before 
 administering Viaticum, and after taking the 
 Blessed Sacrament back to the church, re- 
 turned to say the prayers for a departing 
 soul. When they were ended, Albert, who 
 had been suffering great pain, revived a little ; 
 his face grew bright, and he threw his arms 
 round Padre Cardella's neck, embracing his 
 aunt and cousin also very affectionately.
 
 220 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 His father, with tears in his eyes, said 
 gently, 
 
 "Will you not kiss me too, Albert?" 
 
 " Oh yes," he replied fervently ; " but these 
 have opened Heaven to me." 
 
 The rest of that day and the next passed 
 calmly, but another attack of fever having 
 prostrated Charlotte, Contessa Borgogelli in- 
 sisted on taking her away, Mrs. Leslie's 
 strength hardly sufficing for more than the 
 anxiety of one invalid at a time. The farewell 
 between the cousins each knew to be final. 
 It was the case to say with the Italians, 
 "Arrivederci in Paradiso." 
 
 The nun who watched by Albert's bed 
 during the night saw him turn to a picture 
 of the Madonna hanging close to the bedside. 
 Showing it to her he said, " Elle est ma 
 mere." In the morning he asked what feast 
 it was, the bells had been ringing so joyfully 
 all night. He died on May 22, joyful and 
 peaceful to the end, and Polissena Borgogelli, 
 with her robust Italian-Irish faith, ran into 
 Charlotte's sick-room saying, " I bring you 
 good news. Your cousin has gone to 
 heaven." 
 
 His body was taken to the Church of 
 Santa Maria in Campitelli to pass the night 
 before the funeral in front of the Blessed 
 Sacrament. Franciscans chanted the Office
 
 FOUR YEARS IN ROME. 221 
 
 for the Dead, the last rites being performed 
 with devout solemnity. 
 
 A marble slab put up by Mr. Palmer 
 at the cemetery of San Lorenzo bears the 
 following inscription, composed by Padre Car- 
 della : 
 
 P P 
 
 )|( POSITUS IN PACE HEIC EST }|C 
 
 ALBERTUS JOANNES FALCONER ATLEE NAT ANGLUS 
 
 QUI CORPORIS VALETUDINEM ROM^E QILERITANS 
 
 ^ETERNAM INCOLUMITATEM. 
 
 IN GERMANA CHRISTIANORUM VERITATE EST ADEPTUS 
 ET PR^ESIDIIS SALUTARIBUS FRETUS 
 
 SlT CUM GAUDIO AD DEUM 
 XL KAL. JUN. AN. MDCCCLVIII. ^ET S XXI.
 
 222 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 
 
 IN various ways Mrs. Leslie's work at Rome 
 seemed to be finished. The years which she 
 had spent there had been abundantly produc- 
 tive of results in her own interior life, in the 
 many valuable friends she had added to her 
 circle, in the immense help she had afforded 
 to those in need, body and soul. After long 
 years her memory was still green in the 
 eternal city, and her son, who went there for 
 his Tertianship* ten years after she had left, 
 heard her spoken of as " quella santa donna." 
 Moreover, Father Cardella, who knew her 
 perhaps best of all, once said to him, " I look 
 upon your mother as a saint," testimony the 
 more remarkable from the fact that Jesuits 
 are slow to speak of people in that way. 
 But, indeed, this opinion was universal among 
 those who came into contact with her. Be- 
 fore starting on his journey to Rome, Father 
 Leslie called on the Bishop of Southwark, Dr. 
 Grant, to ask for his blessing, and because he 
 was so great a friend of the Society. But 
 
 *The third year's Novitiate made by Jesuits after they are 
 priests.
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 223 
 
 when he found himself in the Bishop's room, 
 he discovered that he had nothing particular 
 to say, and apologised for troubling him. In- 
 stead of answering, as he probably would to 
 any other of the Fathers, that he was glad 
 at all times to welcome a Jesuit, the Bishop 
 said cordially, "We all respect your mother 
 so much," as if that made his coming quite 
 natural. Again, in Paris at another stage of 
 this same journey, Father Leslie was glad 
 to see Pere Fessard who had been very good 
 to him when he was studying theology at 
 Laval. But at the first moment Pere Fessard 
 did not remember his name, whereupon Pere 
 de Ponlevoy recalled it to him by saying, " II 
 a une sainte mere une sainte mere." 
 
 But in 1858, the good which Mrs. Leslie 
 was to gain, and the good she was to do 
 was no longer in Rome. The state of her 
 daughter's health necessitated a prompt de- 
 parture, for it seemed probable that the 
 Roman fever from which Charlotte was suffer- 
 ing would only leave her on the other side of 
 the Alps. There was yet another reason for 
 hastening to Paris, where a great work of 
 charity awaited her, left by Albert as a legacy. 
 He had entreated his aunt to take up the 
 conversion of his mother and sisters, and did 
 not even despair of her influence with his 
 father and brother. And meanwhile also, the
 
 224 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 bereaved mother needed the consolation of her 
 presence. Mrs. Leslie and Charlotte had paid 
 their farewell visits, had gone for the last time 
 to the sanctuaries where they had obtained so 
 many answers to prayer, and were ready to 
 start on their journey northwards. But at the 
 last moment there were difficulties about their 
 passports, without which it was in those days 
 unsafe to travel. Mrs. Leslie, in general so 
 patient, was disconcerted at a delay which 
 might cause anxiety and inconvenience to 
 others, she having announced their arrival at 
 Dijon and in Paris at a certain date. She 
 was so exact in keeping engagements that a 
 contretemps of this kind was doubly vexatious. 
 Moreover, every day in the great heat in- 
 creased the danger from Roman fever, and 
 Mrs. Leslie was considerably troubled about 
 it. " Dont be distressed," said Mr. Palmer, 
 who had undertaken all the arrangements for 
 the departure and the journey, " there is no 
 sin in it," knowing well that to her, an annoy- 
 ance in which there was no sin could not 
 long be considered an evil. When at last the 
 consul delivered the passports, they set out by 
 way of Siena, Genoa and Turin. The crossing 
 of the Mont Cenis was very different to the 
 last they had experienced. Instead of the 
 deep snow-drifts there were green hollows 
 and beautiful Alpine flowers ; and little children
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 225 
 
 laden with blossoms ran by the side of their 
 carriage. The travellers pushed on rapidly to 
 Dijon to meet Mrs. Leslie's youngest sister, 
 Mrs. Dowson, whose favourite son had lately 
 perished in the massacre at Cawnpore. The 
 two sisters had not met for years, but sorrow 
 is a bond that quickly bridges over the gaps 
 caused by absence, and Mrs. Leslie had the 
 gift of carrying consolation wherever she went. 
 Differences of religion seemed to be forgotten, 
 and the week passed together was for all con- 
 cerned a blessed time. The meeting would 
 doubtless have been prolonged, but for the 
 other grief-stricken mother in Paris, who was 
 longing for those numerous minute details of 
 her son's last months on earth, little nothings 
 which yet say so much to a mother, and 
 which her beloved sister-in-law could alone 
 communicate. So they hastened on to Paris, 
 and with the story of her nephew's wonderful 
 conversion and death, Mrs. Leslie inspired 
 gradually in Albert's mother and sisters a de- 
 sire to share his faith, and to be instructed in 
 the religion which had surrounded his death- 
 bed with such peace and joy. Having done 
 what she could for them, and leaving them in 
 good hands to be prepared for their reception 
 into the Church, she went with Charlotte to 
 Ryde, to stay with her sister, Mrs. Maxwell. 
 At Ryde, among other interesting people, they
 
 226 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 met a Mrs. Wood, the authoress of sundry 
 books for children which had been given by 
 Mr. John Gordon to Mrs. Leslie's children 
 at Wandsworth to replace the depressing dis- 
 senting literature to which they had before 
 been accustomed. These charming books had 
 been written in Mrs. Wood's Anglican days, 
 and she had since become a Catholic. Her 
 son, who was in the navy, was absent from 
 England at the time of her conversion. He 
 returned unexpectedly, and arrived at his 
 mother's house one day when she was out. 
 To pass the time until her return home he 
 took up a book which he found lying on the 
 table in her drawing-room. It was Mr. Allies' 
 " Journal in France and Letters from Italy," 
 in which the author describes his visit to the 
 Ecstatica and the Addolorata in the Tyrol. 
 Captain Wood happened to open the book at 
 these pages, and after reading the description, 
 resolved to verify the statements for himself. 
 He did so, became a Catholic, then a Jesuit, 
 and died a holy death comparatively young at 
 Malta. 
 
 From Ryde Mrs. Leslie went with Charlotte 
 to Eartham, on a visit to Mr. and Mrs. Charles 
 Manning. Lady Cecil Kerr and her cousin 
 Francis were already there when they arrived, 
 but the visit was cut short by the sudden 
 illness of Mrs. Manning, and they went on
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 227 
 
 to London taking the Kerrs with them. On 
 coming out of Farm Street Church, one 
 afternoon after Benediction, they met Lady 
 Fitzgerald in the porch. When Mrs. Leslie 
 asked her whether she would be in Rome the 
 next winter, her answer, a decided negative, 
 showed plainly that some other plan had been 
 resolved on. A little later it became known 
 that she had followed her two daughters to 
 Roehampton, and had become a Sacred Heart 
 nun. 
 
 Mrs. Leslie passed the rest of the summer 
 in Scotland, and after a pleasant stay at Car- 
 stairs travelled south to Mexbury Rectory in 
 Berkshire, a living held by Mr. Palmer's father. 
 Ever since their son's illness at Castel Gandolfo 
 Mr. and Mrs. Palmer had greatly wished to 
 make the acquaintance of his devoted friend 
 and nurse, and this visit was in fulfilment of 
 a long-standing promise. In the hours of con- 
 valescence he had described Mexbury and 
 the different members of his family, dwelling 
 with much affection on the portrait of his 
 mother, whom he represented in such choice 
 colours, that it was a test of her singular charm 
 when reality only confirmed the impression he 
 had given of her. The visitors arrived in the 
 midst of an evening party, the carriages coming 
 and going in the neighbourhood of the Rectory 
 causing a great stir in the place. They re-
 
 228 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 ceived, however, a warm welcome, but Mrs. 
 Palmer's white silk dress, and the gay attire 
 of the assembled guests made the new arrivals 
 so conscious of their wraps and travelling 
 gear, that they were glad to accept the offer 
 of retiring to rest. The next morning, on 
 hearing a gong which they supposed meant 
 breakfast, they went downstairs, but finding 
 the dining-room door locked understood 
 that family prayers were going on. It ap- 
 peared afterwards that the door had been 
 locked in order to spare them the embarrass- 
 ment of an excuse or apology, as it was 
 understood that as Catholics they would not 
 take part in an act of religion conducted by 
 an Anglican clergyman. It was only such 
 thoughtful reminders as this that accentuated 
 any difference of religion between the guests 
 and their hosts, and the visit passed most 
 agreeably. On St. Michael's day Mr. 
 William Palmer drove early in the morning 
 with the Leslies to the Catholic church, situated 
 at some distance from Mexbury. They all 
 went to confession to the venerable old priest 
 in charge of the mission, and Charlotte never 
 forgot the earnest way in which he said to 
 her, " Keep the world far from you, and draw 
 as near to God as you can." It was the echo 
 of an inward voice which had been whisper- 
 ing to her ear since early childhood and
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 229 
 
 had lately become more sweetly importunate. 
 She realized vaguely that all those pleasant 
 summer visits were last ones, and that many 
 of the farewells she had spoken might be 
 final. Nevertheless, even if her health pre- 
 sented no obstacle, for the coming winter, at 
 least there could be no question of entering 
 a convent. The work which Albert had en- 
 trusted to them was still incomplete, and she 
 must help her mother to bring it to a happy 
 conclusion. 
 
 On leaving Mexbury they returned to Paris. 
 Their plans for the winter were to be shaped 
 according to circumstances. 
 
 At that time the Atlee family presented 
 a curious combination of religious elements. 
 Mrs. Falconer Atlee and her two youngest 
 daughters were nearly ready to be received into 
 the Church, to the great satisfaction of the head 
 of the family, who saw too clearly the in- 
 consistencies of Protestantism to have any 
 respect for it, and at the same time was 
 convinced of the absolute necessity of religion 
 at least for women. He was also convinced that 
 the Catholic faith could alone satisfy the craving 
 of the human heart for some form of worship, 
 and although he was still a professed unbeliever, 
 he gave his wife and daughters every facility for 
 receiving instruction. One single embargo was 
 put upon their reception into the Church. They
 
 230 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 must all take the final step together, and if one 
 were not sufficiently prepared, the others must 
 wait for her to be ready. This command, a very 
 positive one, was a fertile source of delays and 
 difficulties. If one of them had a doubt which 
 an explanation easily removed, the next day 
 another would crop up in the mind of another 
 member of the trio, and when further instruction 
 had shown the futility of this, it would be the 
 turn of the third to bring forward some objec- 
 tion. And so things went on, till Mrs. Leslie 
 had recourse to Notre-Dame des Victoires, 
 as on the occasion of Charlotte's giving the 
 medal to Albert. A Mass was said there for the 
 intention that all three might be of the same 
 mind together, and wish to embrace the truth 
 without further delay. This desired result 
 was at last obtained, and they were all received 
 into the Church at the Sacred Heart Convent, 
 Rue de Varenne, on All Saints' Day, 1858, by 
 Pere de Ponlevoy. They remained at the 
 convent nearly the whole day, and on their 
 return home, Mr. Falconer Atlee entered so 
 fully into their joy and enthusiasm, that after 
 dinner, in spite of their remonstrances on 
 account of the intense cold, he insisted on 
 starting off to thank those who had helped them 
 to so great a good. His satisfaction was, how- 
 ever, not shared by other members of his family. 
 His son Falconer, while devotedly attached to
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 231 
 
 his mother and sisters, was frankly indifferent to 
 whatever religion they adopted, but his eldest 
 daughter and her husband were extremely 
 gloomy and unhappy at the change. There was 
 a strain of absurdity in the manner with which 
 they would mark their dissent, when any 
 Catholic topic was introduced, by frequent 
 heavy sighs and laboured depression. Mr. 
 Atlee nick-named them " the Albigenses," and 
 joked good-naturedly about the view they took 
 of the Catholic religion. But Mrs. Leslie, 
 intensely sympathetic as she was, could find it 
 in her heart to be sorry for their evident grief, 
 and felt more affectionately towards them than 
 ever. Although there seemed little hope of 
 their own conversion, she would by no means 
 despair of it, often quoting a favourite word 
 of Pere de Ravignan's, " II faut toujours prier et 
 ne jamais desesperer." 
 
 She had now become, if that were possible, 
 more dear and necessary to her brother's family 
 than before, and as it was the great wish of all 
 to remain together as long as they could, it was 
 agreed that they should spend the winter at 
 Tours. Taking her daughter with her, Mrs. 
 Leslie started before the others to seek an 
 abode that should be large enough to accommo- 
 date the whole family. This was ultimately 
 found in a house opposite the beautiful church 
 of St. Julien, long desecrated by being used as
 
 232 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 a coach-house and stables for the diligences, but 
 which had now been restored to its original 
 uses. 
 
 They passed a peaceful and tranquil winter 
 at Tours, Mr. Falconer Atlee entering amiably 
 into the new Catholic life of his family, 
 welcoming their Catholic friends at all times 
 under his roof, and extending his friendliness 
 and charity to priests and religious without 
 reserve. In the month of May, seeing that 
 his daughters wished to erect a little altar 
 in honour of the Blessed Virgin, he worked 
 like a carpenter to help them, and often 
 during the month would accompany them to 
 the flower-market to buy plants and bouquets 
 to place before their image of the Madonna. 
 
 Towards the end of May Mrs. Leslie and 
 her daughter went to the convent of the Sacred 
 Heart at Marmoutier, to make a retreat in 
 preparation for Pentecost. Charlotte hoped 
 that the moment might be come for settling 
 her vocation to a religious life ; but the Jesuit 
 father who gave the Spiritual Exercises did 
 not encourage her to pursue the idea. 
 Practically, he considered her in the light of 
 an only child, with regard to the most devoted 
 of mothers, who had already given her only 
 son and another daughter to God. But in 
 taking this view, he did not know the whole 
 extent of that mother's generosity and her
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 233 
 
 capacity for making sacrifices. She had been 
 for some time past preparing herself in secret 
 for a possible separation from her youngest 
 child, and the first initiative came from her own 
 brave heart. 
 
 Just before going to Marmoutier she said 
 to Charlotte one evening, " My dear child, 
 I think it likely that while you are in retreat 
 you will be anxious to decide your vocation. 
 At your age, and at such a moment it is almost 
 impossible that it should not occupy your 
 thoughts. Now, if you feel that God calls you 
 to a religious life, do not let me be any obstacle. 
 However much it would cost me to part from 
 you, I should be happier to see you settled 
 and happy during my life than if your devoted- 
 ness to me should cause you to postpone 
 taking such a step till you were beyond the 
 age when it is customary and comparatively 
 easy to follow conventual rules. Therefore, do 
 not let affection for me be a hindrance. God 
 gave you to me, and He has the first right 
 over you a right which I could never venture 
 to dispute." 
 
 With a mutual agreement to pray for light 
 during their coming retreat, and with tender 
 expressions of love and gratitude on her 
 daughter's part, the understanding between 
 them was complete. When the Father who 
 was giving the Exercises pronounced against
 
 234 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Charlotte's entering a convent, another opinion 
 was taken, that of Pere Rubillon, who had 
 been her confessor in Rome and knew 
 both mother and daughter well. He considered 
 that from motives of health, delay was to be 
 recommended, and thus for a time the subject 
 was suffered to drop. Charlotte went with 
 her mother to La Roche Posay in the 
 department of the Indre, where Madame de 
 Pambour was taking a course of mineral 
 waters. 
 
 It was a primitive little place, not much 
 frequented, but not altogether without attrac- 
 tions, the approach to it on one side being 
 very picturesque. The modern bridge crosses 
 the Indre a little lower than the ancient one, 
 of which the ruined masonry resembles rocks 
 of a fantastic form, rising up out of the bed 
 of the river, which at this point is like a rapid 
 torrent. High up, above the surrounding 
 buildings, rises in the centre of the town an 
 ancient tower or keep, probably a part of the 
 fortifications of olden times. The mineral 
 waters are supposed to have been discovered 
 by accident. This is the story. A favourite 
 horse, too infirm and diseased to be of any 
 use to his master, who could not make up his 
 mind to have him shot or see him suffer, was 
 turned out to shift for himself. One day, the 
 man was passing by a marshy spot and saw
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 235 
 
 a horse struggling to get out of the morass. 
 He went to help him, and recognized his own 
 invalided beast restored to health and beauty. 
 The waters of the marsh were analysed, found 
 to contain medicinal properties, and four of 
 them directed into channels for the convenience 
 of sufferers from various maladies. The old 
 church, which was very ill-attended in those 
 days, retained some curiously primitive customs. 
 Before High Mass on Sundays, two boys were 
 employed in ringing the bells, the ropes of 
 which came through holes in the roof between 
 the transepts, each boy in turn flying up some 
 six feet into the air clinging to his rope. As 
 one came down, the other went up, and the 
 effect, to the assembling congregation, was 
 comical to a degree rather out of place in 
 a church. 
 
 While Mrs. Leslie, her daughter and 
 sister were at La Roche Posay Mr. Falconer 
 Atlee went to Paris to see his son at the 
 British Embassy. He called at the Sacred 
 Heart Convent, and saw a very charming 
 American nun, whom he had known for some 
 time as a friend of his family. She ex- 
 tracted from him a promise to go and see 
 Pere de Ponlevoy, who on hearing the name 
 of his visitor, interrupted important business 
 to converse with him. Mr. Atlee at first 
 talked like an agnostic, expressing doubt as
 
 236 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 to the existence of his own soul. But he 
 allowed Pere de Ponlevoy to place round his 
 neck a miraculous medal, saying at the same 
 time with great solemnity, "There is a God, 
 and you have a soul, and you are now going 
 to pray for that soul of yours." Suddenly 
 a gleam of faith seemed to penetrate the 
 clouds of unbelief which had hung over him 
 for so many years. He sank upon his knees, 
 confessing with tears the principal sins of his 
 life. For a while at least, he believed, and 
 assisted that afternoon at Benediction with 
 great sensible sweetness and fervour. It was 
 the feast of the Assumption, and at first it 
 seemed as if our Lady had really obtained 
 the gift of faith for this soul, in many ways 
 so noble and generous. But the gleam died 
 away, and other absorbing interests and occu- 
 pations banished even the memory of it from 
 his mind, so strong was his habit of infidelity. 
 In the meanwhile, Mrs. Leslie, drawn 
 thither by many tender desires, proposed to 
 pay a short visit to England and Scotland 
 before the winter. The chief of these desires 
 was to see her son after a prolonged absence. 
 He had made his theological studies at Laval 
 and Innsbruck, had been ordained at Brixen 
 in the Tyrol, and had said his first Mass at 
 Innsbruck. To behold him at the altar, and 
 to receive Holy Communion from his hand
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 237 
 
 was now the great longing of her heart. 
 They had reached Paris on their journey to 
 England, whither Father Leslie had now re- 
 turned, when some travellers who came to 
 the hotel at which they were staying for 
 a night gave such bad accounts of the rough 
 weather in the Channel that Mrs. Leslie re- 
 solved to put off their crossing for a few days 
 on Charlotte's account. She was still so 
 delicate that her mother took all possible 
 care to avoid extra fatigue for her or the 
 risk of her taking cold. 
 
 But these few days passed in Paris altered 
 the whole course of their future lives. The 
 plans made for their going to England 
 together never came off, and Mrs. Leslie's 
 own journey was delayed by this stress of 
 weather for nearly nine months. On such 
 seemingly accidental circumstances do great 
 events sometimes turn. In the afternoon of 
 the first day they went to the convent of the 
 Sacred Heart, and were urged to take up 
 their abode there during the interval of wait- 
 ing for a quiet passage to England. This 
 they did, and while staying at the convent 
 made the acquaintance of the venerable Mere 
 Barat, foundress of the Society of the Sacred 
 Heart. Charlotte felt moved to confide to 
 her the ever-burning question of her vocation, 
 and the advice obtained was, first to consult
 
 238 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Pere Olivaint, and then, if he considered that 
 she was called to a religious life, to take the 
 opinion of an eminent physician as to the fit- 
 ness of her health for it. Finally, if all 
 seemed to point in that direction, she was to 
 go to the noviceship of the Sacred Heart at 
 Conflans for a month, and try it, after which 
 the interrupted journey to Scotland might 
 be resumed, and farewell visits paid before 
 definitely beginning the novitiate. This ad- 
 vice was not only kind and considerate, but 
 very practical, especially as the Mother 
 General promised that the month at Conflans 
 should really initiate the young postulant into 
 the daily routine she would be called upon to 
 lead for some time to come, if it should prove 
 that she had a vocation to it. Both Mrs. 
 Leslie and her daughter could not but feel 
 that such a test would put an end to the 
 painful uncertainty that had tried them for 
 some time past. When Madame Barat asked 
 half playfully, "What will you do if Pere 
 Olivaint says you have a vocation to the 
 Sacred Heart ? " Charlotte's answer was 
 prompt and courageous : " I will go to 
 Conflans next week." 
 
 Pere Olivaint's decision, after hearing the 
 whole state of the case, was briefly expressed 
 in the words, "Je crois devant Dieu que 
 c'est cela." The doctor's verdict was more
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 239 
 
 cautious, but amounted practically to the same 
 conclusion. " I cannot venture to say whether 
 the patient's health will stand religious life ; 
 but I am sure of one thing, that if she has 
 a vocation, and is thwarted in following it, she - 
 will die all the sooner, and that the peace of' 
 mind and regular life of a convent would give 
 her the best chance of improved health and 
 prolonged life." 
 
 This important question was therefore 
 settled at last, and Mrs. Leslie's sacrifice 
 accepted. Once more she could enter into 
 the true spirit of our Lord's Ascension, under- 
 standing it in its right sense, and confusing 
 it neither with the joyful nor the sorrowful 
 mysteries of His Mother's life on earth. But 
 all real sacrifice implies pain, and this last 
 wrench cost her no less because she had no 
 other child left to give. Henceforth her life 
 must be lonely, although surrounded by 
 a large circle of devoted friends, the last tie 
 being snapped which bound her to any life on 
 earth. True however to her constant principle 
 of never allowing herself, or those belonging 
 to her, to dwell unduly on the painful side of 
 things, she accepted an invitation to spend 
 their last few days together with her old friends 
 the Wilberforces at St.-Germain-en-Laye. 
 
 Mr. Wilberforce was the eldest brother of 
 the celebrated Bishop of Oxford. He was
 
 2 4 o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 then still a Protestant, but his wife had 
 become a Catholic, and there was a bond of 
 sympathy the more between them both and 
 Mrs. Leslie, since she had assisted at the 
 death-bed of his brother Robert at Albano. 
 Full as were the hearts of mother and 
 daughter at the thought of the approaching 
 separation, Mr. Wilberforce detected no 
 shadow on Mrs. Leslie's face, but he was 
 struck with something not hitherto there 
 in Charlotte's, and exclaimed, " What has 
 happened to my little friend Chattie that has 
 made her so serious ? " And partly as a diver- 
 sion, partly because it was one of his hobbies, 
 he took her to the kitchen and gave her 
 a cooking lesson, showing her how to hash 
 mutton on the best principles. He also took 
 great interest in his garden, devoting much 
 time and taste to its cultivation, so that his 
 lawns were as smooth and velvety as the 
 finest English turf, and his flower-beds did 
 justice to his artistic combination of colour 
 and design. But these things were only 
 adjuncts to his more serious occupations. He 
 was a singularly clever, interesting man, 
 learned in all sorts of out-of-the-way subjects, 
 and his conversation, whether tete-a-tete or 
 as one of a party, was always extremely 
 interesting to the Leslies, and made their 
 stay a pleasant souvenir.
 
 -GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 241 
 
 September 14 had been fixed as the day 
 for Charlotte's going to Conflans. The 
 Wilberforces did all they could to persuade 
 their guests to prolong their visit, but in vain ; 
 and on the feast of the Exaltation of the 
 Cross, Mrs. Leslie drove with her daughter 
 through a heavy downpour of rain to the 
 noviceship. She would not try the courage 
 of either by lingering over their farewells, but 
 with a last embrace and blessing, and promis- 
 ing to return shortly, went on to Paris, where 
 she purposed awaiting the result of the month's 
 trial of convent regime. 
 
 Since none of her relations had returned to 
 their winter quarters, and since she dreaded the 
 new experience of solitude at an hotel, she 
 took rooms at Mrs. Murray's house for con- 
 verts till she could decide on her next step. 
 Then came the inevitable reaction which 
 follows a sacrifice, however nobly made. It 
 was not regret, or any desire to take back 
 what she had so generously given, but the 
 pain of separation in all its poignancy, a keen 
 sense of loneliness and desolation, of having 
 broken with the happy past, and with that 
 vie a deux to which she had clung, she knew 
 not how much till now. She thought of 
 the delightful hours they had spent to- 
 gether, the books, the scenery, the friends 
 they had shared, of the thousand little
 
 242 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 humorous touches which had made their com- 
 panionship so perfect, and their understanding 
 of each other so complete. Doubts as to the 
 prudence of what she had done, crowded in 
 upon her. The welfare of this dear child had 
 been the first consideration in every plan she 
 had formed, in every journey undertaken, for 
 the last five years and more. How would this 
 trial of religious life end? If it succeeded, 
 the child would be gone for ever; if it failed, 
 she would come back with shattered health 
 and disappointed aspirations, and those nearest 
 and dearest would perhaps blame her mother 
 for having consented to the test. These 
 thoughts, combined with uncongenial sur- 
 roundings, made the next few days a kind of 
 purgatory. The following letter, written thirty 
 years later, shows what she went through as 
 the immediate consequence of the sacrifice, 
 and the good that had come out of the 
 suffering : 
 
 MY DEAR, DEAR CHILD, I must write you a line to-day 
 to meet the anniversary of our journey to Conflans thirty 
 years ago. In the deep anguish of my heart I did not then 
 thank our heavenly Father for calling you into His more 
 immediate service. But now I can sincerely thank Him for 
 all His mercies in this to you and to me. And to-morrow, please 
 God, in Holy Communion I will offer you to Him afresh with 
 all the love and gratitude of my heart and soul. Adieu, my 
 beloved child. That you may be blessed and become more 
 and more dear to the hearts of Jesus and Mary ever prays 
 Your loving, grateful mother, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE.
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 243 
 
 The first gleam of consolation in her be- 
 reavement came from the news that Lady 
 Lothian would shortly arrive in Paris, 
 bringing her eldest daughter, Lady Cecil 
 Kerr, to the Sacred Heart. To both mothers 
 the meeting seemed a delicate attention on the 
 part of Divine Providence, for besides their 
 old and tried friendship, the similarity of their 
 actual circumstances made them a stay and 
 support to each other. Mrs. Leslie went early 
 on the day after their arrival to their hotel. 
 The young ladies were still in bed resting 
 after their journey. Each called out on 
 hearing her voice : 
 
 " Where's Chattie? Why did she not 
 come ? " 
 
 On being told that Chattie was at Con- 
 flans, the satisfaction of one sister was 
 7 
 
 equalled by the disgust of the other at the 
 desertion of her "early friend." 
 
 Madame de T , whom they had known 
 
 in Rome, called one day on Lady Lothian 
 after her daughter had gone to Conflans, and 
 found Mrs. Leslie with her. Asking after the 
 two postulants, she was horrified to hear that 
 they were both in a convent. The lady had 
 no esteem for religious vocations, and had 
 successfully hindered one of her own children 
 from following one a subsequent cause of 
 misery to both. But at that time she had not
 
 2 4 4 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 yet learned her lesson of sad experience, and 
 delivered her sentiments on the tragic event 
 by exclaiming : " Malheureuses meres que 
 vous etes ! Vous allez mourir toutes seules ! " 
 Those who knew Lady Lothian can scarcely 
 fail to remember her singularly musical laugh. 
 This melancholy prediction excited her merri- 
 ment, and she replied : " Oh, Madame, je 
 n'ai pas du tout peur que je mourrai toute 
 seule." In neither case was the prophecy 
 verified. Lady Lothian died in Rome, sur- 
 rounded by friends, her youngest son being 
 led as it were by inspiration to his mother's 
 bedside, while Mrs. Leslie's last hours on 
 earth were blessed by the presence of the two 
 beloved children whom she had first given to 
 
 God. If Madame de T could have really 
 
 foreseen the end, her pity would have given 
 place to a feeling akin to envy. 
 
 But at that time even Mrs. Leslie's 
 courage needed all her faith to sustain it. 
 Her first visit to Conflans brought little comfort, 
 and one line in her carefully kept diary is an 
 indication of her state of mind : " Saw my 
 dear child, but full of tristesse and ennui ; I did 
 not enjoy it." 
 
 Lady Lothian, too, though she could laugh 
 at the world's verdict, was none the less a 
 mater dolorosa at that time, and the exchange 
 of sympathy between the two mothers might
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 245 
 
 sometimes have ended in tears, had it not been 
 for the presence of Lady Alice, who often 
 rendered good service by giving an original, 
 amusing turn to the subject when it threatened 
 to become serious. Her wit and drollery 
 were perhaps more valuable to both than the 
 most pious exhortations. 
 
 A letter written by Mrs. Leslie in her 
 eighty-fifth year to a friend who had lately 
 suffered the loss of a beloved niece to whom 
 she had acted the part of a mother, and who 
 had been called to religion, contains this 
 affecting passage : 
 
 I am not surprised at the depression you speak of. Both 
 for our poor minds and bodies this generally follows some great 
 
 effort. You made your great sacrifice of dear E courage- 
 
 ously and generously, and even cheerfully, much better than 
 I did with any one of my beloved children. But then when 
 the loneliness comes, our poor nature suffers under the 
 depressing vacancy. I am now going to say a few words of 
 what I was taught, and what my experience has confirmed. 
 Our natural and affectionate feelings prompt us to think that 
 by living near, and frequently seeing, the being we have cherishedi 
 but really given as He asked, to God, we shall become more 
 soothed and resigned. This I now believe to be a mistake, 
 and Rev. Mother Marie Amelie, then Superior at St. Margaret's, 
 taught me this lesson, firmly but kindly. She checked frequent 
 visits to dear Mary as best for her ; and for myself, enjoined 
 me to look up and not down as I was doing. But a signal 
 mercy was shown to my pusillanimity, by circumstances taking 
 me away shortly after parting both from her and Chattie, and 
 obliging me to make certain exertions which no doubt helped 
 me to get more out of myself and closer to the will of our 
 heavenly Father.
 
 246 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Another letter to the same friend runs 
 thus : 
 
 MY VERY DEAR FRIEND, In heart and mind I have been 
 so occupied with you during the last month that I cannot 
 resist writing to you a few lines. You must know that I 
 understand from a threefold experience all that is connected 
 with the sacrifice which our heavenly Father has asked from 
 you, and which I am sure you have made with a loyal, 
 courageous, loving will. But it is not at the moment when 
 we give up what has been, and ever will be nearest and dearest 
 to our whole being that the trial is most felt. No, for that 
 moment a strength is given which lifts us above ourselves. 
 But when the blank comes which follows our sacrifice, though 
 we would not recall it, nature will have her say. And well do 
 I remember, when yielding to some selfish murmurs which I 
 must have made in my exceeding weakness to Pere Olivaint, 
 he gently reproved me by saying, " You behaved so well at 
 first but now ! " I think, dear friend, with your firmer faith 
 you are not likely to do so ; but I will quote the words of 
 a priest, now departed, who met me looking very mournful. 
 *" If you look upon this trial with the eyes of earth all will be 
 wrong ; but if you look at it with the eyes of heaven all will 
 be right." So, dear friend, though I doubt not you have 
 already done so, I will pray that you may steadfastly continue 
 to do it. We cannot now appreciate nor understand all the 
 love and wisdom that takes a beloved child from us, but I may 
 add that, imperfect as it still is with me, as time goes on we 
 feel both, more and more, and can praise our good God and 
 thank Him for having in this, as in all other things, done well. 
 Please let me know how you are, and with a fervent God 
 bless you, believe me as ever, 
 
 Most affectionately yours, 
 
 E. LESLIE. 
 
 It will be easily understood by those who 
 have followed Mrs. Leslie thus far in her life 
 of singular resignation, fortitude and charity, 
 that the selfishness with which she reproached
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 247 
 
 herself in the above letters was entirely un- 
 recognized by others. She so feared to sadden 
 and unsettle her child by letting her even 
 suspect how intensely she felt the separation, 
 that she appeared cheerful and satisfied with 
 everything, whenever she went to Conflans. 
 Many years indeed were allowed to pass before 
 her daughter knew the utter desolation of 
 her heart at that time. By degrees, the entries 
 in her diary grew more cheerful, and most of 
 them were written in a tone of gratitude, 
 some time before the trying ordeal of wait- 
 ing in Paris came to an end. "Went to 
 Conflans. Thankful to find my dear child 
 so well," is the refrain of most of her visits 
 there. 
 
 Then came the time when Charlotte was 
 to make her election. The Superior General, 
 it will be remembered, had given permission 
 for a trial of her vocation to be made pro- 
 visionally, and if she succeeded in it, she might 
 resume her interrupted journey to Scotland, 
 pay her farewell visits, and enter the convent 
 definitely in the spring. But just as her brother 
 had preferred, after his first retreat at Stony- 
 hurst, to enter on his religious career at 
 once, without returning to take leave of 
 his family, so Charlotte feared to risk her 
 vocation by exposing herself to the enerva- 
 ting influence of appeals dictated by natural
 
 248 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 affection to induce her to give up her 
 purpose. 
 
 But to give up this journey entailed another 
 costly sacrifice. She had been looking forward 
 intensely to seeing her brother as a priest, to 
 the joy of assisting at his Mass, and of once 
 more renewing the tender associations of the 
 past. She knew what it would be to her 
 mother to have her society on the journey, 
 and she thought of the delight of her sisters 
 in being once more together with her. Then 
 it occurred to her that she might never again 
 have the power to offer such a gift to God 
 as this sacrifice, and it would be a pity to 
 lose the opportunity. She opened her heart 
 to her mother, only to find the most perfect 
 acquiescence and approval of her wish to 
 pursue her religious training without a break. 
 Mrs. Leslie still lingered on in Paris, less 
 perhaps now to be near her daughter than 
 because she had placed herself under the some- 
 what austere and very supernatural direction of 
 Pere Olivaint. 
 
 Late in December she had the consolation 
 of seeing her old friend Mr. Robertson and 
 his aunt Miss Cunningham. In January, 1860, 
 came Lord and Lady Henry Kerr and made 
 some stay. Meanwhile, the usual three months' 
 term of probation for postulants had been pro- 
 longed to nearly five, and Charlotte began to
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 249 
 
 wonder whether her turn to be clothed would 
 ever come. Others, who had entered after her 
 had received the habit, and she felt rather 
 anxious. At last she was told that doubts had 
 been entertained as to her health ever allowing 
 her to conform to all the rules of community 
 life, and the matter had been laid before the 
 Superior General. Her answer was " Donnez- 
 lui 1'habit quand meme. Plus tard elle se 
 fortifiera." To this news was added the pleasing 
 information that she, and the friend of her 
 childhood, Lady Cecil Kerr, whom she had 
 helped through her postulancy, were to be 
 clothed on the same day. Charlotte had had a 
 certain amount of training in religious exact- 
 ness and obedience to bells, as a pupil at St. 
 Margaret's Convent, and had learned many rules 
 and observances which stood her in good stead 
 when she first went to Conflans, preventing her 
 feeling so complete a stranger in a religious 
 house as she would otherwise have been. But 
 her friend had been brought up entirely at home, 
 and would often have been puzzled but for 
 Charlotte, who was allowed to act the part of a 
 good angel towards her, prompting and remind- 
 ing her when necessary, and explaining small 
 difficulties. 
 
 On February 8, which in the diocese of 
 Paris is the feast of the Most Pure Heart of 
 Mary, Mrs. Leslie wrote in her diary :
 
 250 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Went to Conflans for the prise d 1 habit of my beloved 
 child and Lady Cecil Kerr. Let me thank God for all 
 his mercies, and ever more and more. 
 
 On the 2Qth she went to the convent and 
 remained for about ten days, and seems 
 about this time to have become thoroughly 
 reconciled and happy about her daughter's 
 vocation. There are daily entries in the diary 
 of " pleasant visits from dearest Chattie and 
 Cecil in the evening." Lent was passed in 
 Paris, and on May 12 she travelled to 
 London with Mr. Palmer, and after several 
 visits in the south, went in June to St. 
 Asaph, to see and for a short time remain 
 near her son who was making his fourth 
 year of theology at St. Beuno's College. 
 Father Leslie met and welcomed her at the 
 station, and obtained leave to say Mass for 
 her several times at St. Asaph. The blessed- 
 ness of both mother and son in being once 
 more together was too deep for expression 
 save the fervent and reiterated Deo gratias of 
 her diary, and she now began to experience 
 the hundredfold reward promised to those 
 who have stripped themselves of all their 
 earthly treasure for the sake of everlasting 
 life. It would be almost irreverent to lift the 
 veil thrown over those heart-to-heart commun- 
 ings, as they two walked together about the 
 pleasant places already sanctified by the pres-
 
 GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS. 251 
 
 ence of great saints ; or to attempt to describe 
 the emotion with which the one knelt at the 
 altar while the other reached to her the Bread 
 of Life. But the joy that is born of sacrifice 
 is more unutterably sweet than the joy of 
 fulfilled desires.
 
 252 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 AUTUMN. 
 
 AFTER the completion of his fourth year of 
 theology Father Leslie was sent to the 
 mission at Glasgow, a very struggling one 
 in those days, and chiefly composed of Irish 
 immigrants, exiled by the famine which fol- 
 lowed on the potato-rot, and employed in 
 the Glasgow factories. His mother, who had 
 gone from St. Asaph to Edinburgh, visited 
 him soon after his arrival in Scotland, and 
 was much impressed with the faith, piety 
 and fine feeling of the people. They were 
 so poor that the offertory at Mass was en- 
 tirely made up of pence, and when she 
 dropped half-a-crown into the plate, it was 
 brought back to her four times, as it was 
 supposed that she had given it in mistake 
 for a penny. At another time she also put 
 in half-a-crown, when the old man who was 
 collecting handed it back to her saying, " No, 
 ma'am, you have given your son." When 
 she went to stay at Carstairs and Huntlyburn, 
 Father Leslie, whose health sometimes gave 
 way under the hard life and heavy work of 
 the Glasgow mission, would be sent there for
 
 AUTUMN. 253 
 
 a few days at a time to rest and gain fresh 
 strength for his labours. 
 
 The Monteiths and Lord and Lady Henry 
 Kerr were never at a loss to invent some 
 plea for these highly prized meetings between 
 the mother and son, which were to them also 
 occasions of special rejoicing. The distance 
 of Huntlyburn from the nearest Catholic 
 church at Galashiels made it an inestimable 
 boon to have Mass said for them in their 
 private chapel, and as often as there was the 
 least pretext, they asked that Father Leslie 
 might be sent. 
 
 During one of these visits, Mrs. Leslie was 
 mainly instrumental in getting a rather re- 
 markable man into the Church. He began 
 life as a saddler, but developed a taste for 
 sculpture, to which he subsequently devoted 
 himself. He had already talked to her about 
 religion, and she went to see him at Darnick, 
 the nearest village, with her son, and found 
 him reading Milner's " End of Controversy." 
 After a little conversation, Father Leslie said, 
 " Now you ought to fix the day for your 
 reception into the Church." His wife, who 
 was present, expostulated, but the man said : 
 " Sir, you are right," and accordingly a Sunday 
 not far off was agreed upon. He had set his 
 heart on being received by an Oblate Father 
 who had been at Galashiels, but who was
 
 254 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 then at Leith. On the day fixed, he went to 
 Leith, but the Oblate Father was absent. He 
 went to Edinburgh to find Father Corry, a 
 Jesuit, whom he also knew, but Father Corry 
 was away. Then he returned to Galashiels 
 and called on the priest who was new there, 
 and did not know him. He was being put 
 off, when Lord Henry Kerr, who heard him 
 speaking, said to the priest : " You may trust 
 that man," and he was received then and there. 
 Afterwards his whole family became Catholics. 
 Some years later, when Mrs. Leslie was living 
 in Edinburgh, the man came to see her, a 
 little while before his death. When he left 
 he knelt down for her blessing. 
 
 All who came in contact with her felt the 
 wonderful power of her sanctity; many, per- 
 haps unconsciously, the charm of her refine- 
 ment and the singular attraction of her sim- 
 plicity of manner. She became a kind of 
 standard to many of her friends by which to 
 measure the value of a course of action. If 
 it was instinctively felt that Mrs. Leslie would 
 not like a certain thing, it was abandoned as 
 unworthy. One who met her for the first time 
 at Huntlyburn * in the early 'sixties contributes 
 the following graphic description : 
 
 My brother and I were staying at Huntlyburn both very, very- 
 young people then, although I think I at least felt more aged 
 
 * Baroness Anatole von Hugel.
 
 AUTUMN. 2 55 
 
 and more capable of being sure what I was like and what every- 
 thing else and everybody else was like than I have felt for many 
 a year now past. Yet we had all the freshness really of young 
 people and all the unconscious ignorance, and so could feel 
 vividly the help of the touch of the wonderful fingers on our 
 minds and ourselves in general even when consciously all we 
 knew was that we were seeing " a most jolly person " or "oh! 
 such a wonderful old lady !" 
 
 Did you know Huntlyburn in its royal old days when 
 through its windows the sun looked in always more gladly, I 
 am sure, than it could do anywhere else upstairs, through 
 the three long French windows into the quiet roomy chapel, 
 where the lamp never went out as it does in so many a 
 private oratory ; where the atmosphere was never chilly, either 
 mentally or physically ; where every conceivable footstool made 
 kneeling peacefully easy, where everybody's books and rosaries 
 were happy on the seats as well as oneself; where the perfect 
 taste of perfect instinct made the pictures go right on the 
 walls and the flowers right on the altar ; where mostly you found 
 someone else already saying his prayers whenever you went 
 in. Chiefly and oftenest you would see the head, the gracefullest 
 and most characteristic we shall ever any of us see, with a little, 
 light, black silk cap on and a veil over, till we see it again by and 
 by. Father Leslie used to say, " I should like a persecution ; 
 I should like to see Lady Henry go to the stake she would do it 
 in such style ! " Downstairs, faded, old-fashioned furniture, 
 ornaments, each with a history : piety and old beauty mixed. 
 And the round face of the beautiful sailor boy looking from a gilt 
 frame on the wall the face which manhood and keen feeling and 
 eager thought sharpened into such clear-cut strength, when we all 
 knew and answered to it in the long after years. And oh ! the 
 wonderful view outwards, downstairs, of the wooded Tweed 
 valley, down to the grey, shining Abbey ruins, from the one 
 window; of the solemn purple Eildons from the others. But 
 from the chapel, only the one of which Melrose Abbey was the 
 leading thought. 
 
 Well, I think it was in that bright, faded, delicious drawing- 
 room that I got my first impression of Mrs. Leslie. I think she 
 had arrived just before dinner, and that I came down early and 
 found Lord Henry there. Then presently the door opened and
 
 256 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 a small figure entered very crisp, wearing a black silk skirt, 
 shortish, a sort of soft black shawl China crape I fancy pinned 
 with precision, just exactly so that it looked best, a cap of soft white 
 tulle or net, with tiny bows, and white close curls against a rosy 
 cheek, eyes which I don't think I noticed, for it was not very 
 light in the room. But strongest of all is my remembrance of 
 small, vigorous, tapered fingers, with long, very careful-looking 
 nails, holding firmly and crisply a small, black silk bag, drawn up 
 with a string and a frill. 
 
 I remember a kindly word or two, which gave me a sense of 
 being admitted to good company, and then she began talking to 
 Lord Henry he with warm, bright, funny eagerness, wishing to 
 get at her thoughts, she with a gentle stiffness of phraseology, 
 calling him " my lord," but giving me, as she said the pretty, 
 old-fashioned words, the sense that everybody was at Court, in 
 good old days ; that he was bowing beautifully and she curtsey- 
 ing, and that some kingly king must be near who was going to 
 say to them both, " Pray now be seated." It once and for all 
 made a standard in my mind of manners in speaking to people. 
 Not that we can ever get back to the charm of old-fashioned 
 exactness ; but we can still feel something that her exactness 
 gave outward life to. And ever since I have rejoiced in the 
 .sight of a bishop for a private reason of my own, as well as for 
 the good of his blessing, because now I too might say " my lord " 
 and copy Mrs. Leslie, and remember the clear, sweet tones that 
 had said it that evening in the firelight at Huntlyburn. 
 
 All the rest of the evening is vague to me, except that he 
 asked her to play. " Now Mrs. Leslie, I must have my tune," 
 and that from the tips of the strong, light fingers there ran the 
 most delicious, bright old tunes, played out of a small MS. music 
 book, where the noting was as light and correct and delicate as 
 the music and as the handwriting of the journal. 
 
 The same writer goes on to say that after 
 this first meeting the feeling that something 
 gentle and strong was being good to her took 
 hold of her and helped her over some of the 
 puzzling things of life which had begun to
 
 A UTUMN. 
 
 257 
 
 exercise her young mind. The things that 
 had seemed to her so tangled became really 
 less complicated when Mrs. Leslie had 
 handled the theme in her simple, direct, 
 bright way. With all her experience and 
 matured judgment, there was, to the end of 
 her life, something of the delightful simplicity 
 of a child in her intense, unquestioning confi- 
 dence that God's goodness would make all 
 crookedness straight at last, and that mean- 
 while the crookedness did not matter. She 
 realized so completely that the other world is 
 only just beyond and alongside the turns of 
 this one that she easily convinced those who 
 came in touch with her of the same, while 
 she drew them less perhaps by her words 
 than by that something in herself which was 
 impressing people profoundly, and giving her 
 little playful words the force they had. Once 
 at Huntlyburn, the same eager, impression- 
 able girl was shyly confiding to her her 
 anxiety respecting the soul of a friend who, 
 she hoped, was on the road to conversion. 
 Mrs. Leslie gave her a fragment of glass 
 from a tomb in the Catacombs, and the 
 young girl said how much she would like to 
 twist some of this friend's hair round it, to 
 bring the grace of conversion to him from 
 the prayers of the unknown martyr. Falling 
 in sympathetically with ; the notion, Mrs.
 
 258 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Leslie replied, " Now I once also got some 
 hair of a friend and put it near a relic. 
 I thought I would pull him in by the hair of 
 his head." The gay laugh which followed 
 this admission showed how the true, earnest 
 spirituality that could pray so wonderfully was 
 equal also to the every-day things of faith, 
 and was not without that merry twinkle which 
 might prompt, as it were, a little trick upon 
 a saint. Sitting very upright on a little stiff 
 old armchair in her bedroom, where these 
 confidences were exchanged, she would flash 
 out bright thoughts, which often afterwards 
 served her listener as a key whereby to move 
 back one or another of the ponderous wards 
 of the lock that barred the solution to so many 
 weary enigmas. 
 
 They formed a pretty contrast, and a very 
 instructive one the soul just beginning its 
 experiences of life, anxiously scanning the 
 untried problems that lay scattered on all sides, 
 and the soul that feared nothing, because it had 
 nothing left to lose, but yet had brought that 
 merry laugh unspoilt through all the years of 
 sorrow and sacrifice, and now on the borders 
 of old age was still gay with the gladness which 
 we are wont to associate with happy childhood 
 or matured sanctity. Perhaps the secret of it 
 is that such souls as hers see heaven clearly, 
 and observe how its laws make sense from its
 
 AUTUMN. 259 
 
 own side, and yet fit on to all that is apparently 
 lawless, useless and vain on the earth side. 
 They met again often in after years, but the 
 most vivid impression was made on the young 
 girl's mind by these early talks, which proved 
 so fruitful in forming her taste and character, 
 perhaps also in deepening and broadening her 
 piety. 
 
 About this time occurred Mr. Falconer 
 Atlee's formal submission to the Church. One 
 day at Conflans, his niece Charlotte heard the 
 announcement from the Martyrology for the 
 following day, " the feast of the prodigies of the 
 Blessed Virgin Mary," and immediately thought 
 that she would try to obtain the prodigy of 
 his conversion. She was one of the sub- 
 sacristans, and had the charge of decorating 
 the side altars. She therefore asked and 
 obtained leave to do something more than 
 usual to honour our Lady's prodigies in order 
 to win one. 
 
 It was the time when lilies blow 
 And clouds are highest up in air. 
 
 The garden was therefore ransacked for what 
 was fairest and most fragrant, and presently the 
 little novice came in with an armful of stately 
 white lilies and rich scarlet verbena, which she 
 arranged much to her satisfaction, thinking that 
 the altar had never looked so beautiful. But
 
 260 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 the head sacristan, Madame Louise Mallac, 
 instead of praising her work said, " Ma soeur 
 Charlotte, il faudrait oter ces beaux lys, ou vu 
 la chaleur dans l'6glise ; leur parfum pourrait 
 faire tomber les gens en pamoison." 
 
 It was a disappointment, but Sister Charlotte 
 had already learned that few things are so good 
 but that the sacrifice of them is still better, and 
 before the lilies had had time to fade she heard 
 that her uncle had been received into the 
 Church by Pere de Ponlevoy. At the moment 
 of conferring conditional baptism, the priest 
 asked what name he bore, and he answered, 
 " My name is John, but if it may be allowed, 
 give me also the name of Mary." In spite of 
 his good dispositions, it was thought advisable 
 to prolong his religious instruction somewhat 
 before admitting him to Holy Communion. 
 But he pleaded so earnestly, " Oh, mon Pere, 
 laissez-moi recevoir mon Dieu," that Pere de 
 Ponlevoy yielded, hoping that what was still 
 needed in the way of instruction would be 
 supplied gradually by others. But unhappily, 
 when the first fervour of his conversion had 
 subsided, he gradually slipped back into the old 
 paths. Soon after his abjuration, he removed 
 with his family to Nantes, and for a time Mrs. 
 Leslie wrote hopefully in her diary of his 
 perseverance. Her last visit in Scotland in 
 1860 was at Carstairs, where Father Leslie was
 
 AUTUMN. 261 
 
 allowed to join her. On September 10, she left 
 for the south, and a few days later wrote at 
 Conflans, where the next few months were 
 spent, " Found my beloved Chattie quite well 
 and happy. Deo gratias." 
 
 The beginning of 1861 saw her at Alencon 
 with her niece, Madame de Champfleur, her 
 sister Harriet's only daughter, an excellent 
 Catholic wife and mother, one of whose sons 
 became a priest in the diocese of Paris. During 
 the next few years, Mrs. Leslie divided her 
 time between Nantes, Alencon, Tours, England 
 and Scotland, devoting as much of it as possible 
 to her brother, in the hope of helping him to 
 regain the faith of which he had had so bright 
 if transient a glimmer. But forty years of 
 studied infidelity had established such a habit 
 of doubt and disbelief in his soul that tempta- 
 tions against all revealed religion were frequent 
 and violent. Moreover, the general tone of 
 thought in France was totally anti-Christian, 
 and as he was little grounded in the doctrines 
 of religion, he had no weapons wherewith to 
 meet the specious arguments with which he 
 had been familiar since his boyhood. His wife 
 and two Catholic daughters, recent converts 
 themselves, had not the same kind of influence 
 for good with him as his eldest sister, and they 
 counted on her to lead him back into the 
 right path. Her nieces describe her life with
 
 262 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 them at Nantes as differing little from that of 
 a good religious, so exact was she in keeping 
 her self-imposed rule, so perfect a model did 
 she appear to all of self-denial and charity. 
 Her day began with Mass and Holy Com- 
 munion, whatever the state of the weather or 
 of her own health, although, if they convinced 
 her that there was real and considerable im- 
 prudence in her leaving the house, she would 
 sometimes give in, and thank them affectionately 
 for their care of her. Her leisure was shared 
 with Mrs. Falconer Atlee in the humble 
 occupation of mending old clothes for the 
 aged men and women under the charge of the 
 Little Sisters of the Poor. Not unfrequently 
 she would be called upon to take part in 
 controversial talks with her brother, and these 
 necessitated not only the defence of Christian 
 doctrine against his infidel objections to all 
 revealed religion, but also the constant remem- 
 brance that to convince him she must make that 
 religion attractive and amiable. To this end 
 she was always studying how to contribute 
 to the agreeableness and charm of her brother's 
 home-life, often at the cost of many a personal 
 sacrifice. Sometimes the religious discussions 
 would leave her completely exhausted, and 
 she would ask her nieces, who had been 
 present, with tears in her eyes, whether she 
 had behaved as she ought.
 
 AUTUMN. 263 
 
 The autumn of 1862 brought a special work. 
 The Marchioness of Queensberry had been re- 
 ceived into the Church, and had gone with 
 her children to Boulogne, where she engaged 
 a Catholic tutor for them, M. FAbbe Bonamy. 
 Finding that their guardians were pursuing 
 her with the intention of taking her children 
 awa}, she was advised by the Abbe to go on 
 to Nantes, where he knew an old Breton 
 family named de Kersabiec who might be of 
 use to her. The de Kersabiecs were intimate 
 with Mrs. Leslie and her brother's family, 
 and they helped Lady Queensberry to find 
 a suitable apartment and to settle in it. But 
 just as she began to breathe more freely, 
 Mr. Falconer Atlee, who was then British 
 Consul at Nantes, heard sooner than most 
 people that she was still being pursued, and 
 as his house had an entrance and staircase 
 at each end, offering a convenient refuge for 
 anyone wishing to leave at a moment's 
 notice, should unwelcome visitors arrive un- 
 expectedly, invited her to make her home 
 there as long as she required it. The offer 
 was gratefully accepted, and Mrs. Leslie 
 became an immense moral support to Lady 
 Queensberry during the year that followed, 
 helping her with her clear sense and judg- 
 ment. Together they wrote a letter to the
 
 264 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Emperor,* claiming his protection, and whether 
 in consequence of this letter or from other 
 causes, Lady Queensberry was allowed to keep 
 her children in peace, and bring them up as 
 she pleased. Mrs. Leslie's diary about this 
 time is among other things a chronicle of the 
 principal events in the Douglas family. She 
 writes on November 25, 1862 : 
 
 First Communion of Lord Archibald. 
 
 December 21. Confirmation of Lord A. Douglas. 
 
 January 16, 1863. Heard of Mr. Wilberforce's conversion. 
 [" This was a great joy to her," writes one of her daughters.] 
 
 29. Letter from Mr. Palmer, telling me of MissTaafe's death. 
 
 March 3. Lady Gertrude made her abjuration. The twins 
 are baptized. I godmother to Lord James. 
 
 March 4.. Lady Gertrude's First Communion. Deo gratias. 
 
 But whatever else Mrs. Leslie's hand or 
 head found to do, her almost daily visits to 
 the poor were never left out. Now she 
 would often take one or another of Lady 
 Queensberry's children with her, and initiate 
 them into Catholic works of charity. Some- 
 times pleasant meetings with old friends 
 would bring an unexpected glow and colour 
 into her life, devoted as it was almost entirely 
 to piety and the service of her neighbour. 
 She usually broke her journeys between 
 
 * Lady Queensberry's father had been kind to him when he lived 
 in exile in England.
 
 AUTUMN. 265 
 
 Nantes and Scotland at Marmoutier, whither 
 her youngest daughter had been sent from 
 Conflans. On one of these short halts, she 
 found Lady Lothian with her daughter Alice, 
 who had come to see their Sacred Heart 
 nun also ; and when Mr. Palmer arrived un- 
 expectedly, it was like a return to the happy 
 days in Rome when they were all together. 
 
 But peaceful as her life was, the cross was 
 never absent from it in one form or another. 
 In 1 86 1 she had lost her good son-in-law, 
 Mr. Eraser Gordon, and this sorrow was 
 followed by anxiety concerning her eldest 
 daughter Eleanor, who was left with an only 
 child, a boy of four years old. 
 
 In March, 1863, she was hastily summoned 
 from Nantes to Edinburgh by the news of 
 Eleanor's alarming illness. Travelling rapidly, 
 Mrs. Leslie arrived in time to cheer her last 
 days on earth, to assist at her holy death, 
 and to perform for her the last sad offices. 
 When all was over, she wrote to Charlotte : 
 
 Not anything could be more peaceful, more painless than that 
 departure. One could only thank God for the tender mercy He 
 had shown in every way, and pray that the precious soul had 
 become most acceptable to Him. The body was very nicely 
 arranged, and I remained with it till the morning, along with 
 Mary Walters [her faithful attendant], when I came on to 
 St. Margaret's for the Mass said on her behalf. She had wished 
 when placed in her coffin to be removed to St. Mary's, and this 
 was done on Thursday night, when many poor good people came 
 and prayed round her. The face remained very sweet and calm
 
 266 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 till the coffin was closed. The funeral took place from St. Mary's 
 on Saturday, and she rests, dear child, in the Grange Cemetery. 
 Poor little Mickie [Eleanor's son] had a terrible burst of grief at 
 first, and was quite sick with crying next day ; but since I got him 
 out here,* he has been well and happy, and is the delight of every- 
 body. I have been wonderfully supported throughout, but now 
 need repose. For this, and as Mickie cannot yet be removed 
 beyond the jurisdiction of the Scotch courts, we are to go to Lord 
 Henry Kerr's, at Huntlyburn, on Tuesday. 
 
 After her daughter's death, Mrs. Leslie 
 was detained in Scotland for some time to 
 make arrangements for the education of her 
 little grandson, for although his two uncles, 
 Colonel and Major Gordon, were his guardians, 
 the responsibility fell practically upon her. 
 Towards the end of the year, Father Leslie 
 fell dangerously ill of typhus fever at Glasgow, 
 and his mother had the unspeakable consola- 
 tion of being allowed to nurse him. By her 
 thought and care she was able materially to 
 lessen the difficulties caused by so dreadful 
 an illness on a poor mission ; and when the 
 case seemed desperate, a suggestion of hers 
 relieved the most distressing and alarming 
 symptoms, and was the beginning of an im- 
 provement in his condition which led on to 
 recovery. She afterwards said touchingly, 
 " I never could pray for his recovery, but 
 kept on saying, ' Lord, he whom Thou lovest 
 is sick,' and I left him entirely in God's hands." 
 
 * To Greenhill, Bishop Gillis' house, opposite St. Margaret's 
 Convent.
 
 AUTUMN. 267 
 
 When he was convalescent, Mrs. Leslie 
 took him to Portobello for the benefit of the 
 sea air, and afterwards, when all fear of in- 
 fection was at an end, to Huntlyburn for 
 a short visit, to complete his recovery. There 
 were other guests in the house, and notably 
 Mr. Palmer and Dr. Patterson, now Bishop 
 of Emmaus. They were all talking one day 
 at dinner about old Oxford days and the 
 High Church movement, and the difficulty 
 they had in getting the poorer classes to take 
 an interest in it. Father Leslie said he was 
 once having his hair cut at Oxford, when he 
 began teaching the barber about the services 
 of the Church of England, and thought he 
 had made an impression, but was interrupted 
 by some other young men coming in. As he 
 was leaving, the barber followed him to the 
 door, and whispered, " Sir, you should come 
 to our Independent Chapel next Sunday night ; 
 we have a regular Apostle Paul man preach- 
 ing there." 
 
 Dr. Patterson capped this story by saying 
 that a friend of his had tried to make his 
 college scout an Anglo-Catholic, and to get 
 him to practise abstinence on the proper days. 
 He was quite pleased with his success till 
 one Ash Wednesday, when the scout came 
 and asked leave of absence for that evening, 
 as it was " Hash Wednesday, and I likes to
 
 268 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 keep the feasts of the Church, so I have got 
 up a little supper-party with some friends." 
 
 Mr. Palmer then said that when he had 
 settled down at Magdalen, he invited the French 
 Cure, with whom he had lived while learning 
 French, to pay him a visit. When the Cure 
 accepted the invitation, Palmer and his High 
 Church friends were in great expectation. 
 They thought that he would make such an 
 impression, walking up and down "the High" 
 with them in his soutane. It would show the 
 union between the English and French 
 branches of the Church. But when Palmer 
 went to the railway station to meet him, he 
 was disgusted at seeing the Cure get out of 
 the carriage in coat and trousers. Knowing 
 that he was coming to an heretical country, 
 where he imagined that Catholics were still 
 in danger, he had disguised himself. On 
 Sunday morning, he was taken to St. Peter's- 
 in-the-East, but found the service cold and 
 unmeaning, very unlike Catholic worship. 
 Mr. Palmer was greatly disappointed, and in 
 the evening left him to his own devices. The 
 Cure went out, and returned in a state of en- 
 thusiasm. Bursting into his friend's room, he 
 declared that he had been among the early 
 Christians. "How they prayed and cried out 
 ' Glory be to God ! ' and ' Alleluia ! ' " On 
 being asked where he had been, he said that
 
 A UTUMN. 269 
 
 he had found himself in the Independent 
 chapel, and that if he were not a Catholic, he 
 would be an Independent. 
 
 On leaving Huntlyburn, Mrs. Leslie made 
 her way slowly back to Nantes, paying, as 
 was her custom, visits to her various relations 
 and friends on the way. It was about this 
 time that she met with an accident which, but 
 for her brother's presence of mind, might have 
 proved fatal. While dressing to go out, a rug 
 or piece of carpet slipped on the highly- 
 polished parquet, and she fell, striking her 
 head violently against the sharp corner of a 
 table and thereby severing two arteries. In 
 a moment she was bathed in blood, but 
 managed to rise and make her way to her 
 brother's dressing-room. Mr. Atlee, seeing 
 where the danger lay, carefully kept his 
 fingers pressed on the arteries till a doctor 
 could be brought to tie them up. The opera- 
 tion was painful, and perhaps unskilfully done, 
 for the instrument broke, but Mrs. Leslie was 
 never heard to utter a complaint, and her 
 patience at that time and during the weari- 
 some treatment that followed was a marvel 
 to all. 
 
 The first words which she wrote in her 
 diary on New Year's Day, 1868, are these: 
 
 Through the infinite mercy of Almighty God, I am brought to 
 this new year. Oh may it be spent according to His holy will, 
 which is my sanctification !
 
 270 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Early in May, Mr. Falconer Atlee's eldest 
 daughter Julia and her husband came to 
 Nantes; but as there seemed little hope of 
 their conversion, Mrs. Leslie saw no reason 
 for prolonging her stay at that time, and went 
 to Marmoutier, remaining in the convent the 
 whole of the summer. On her arrival she 
 wrote in her diary : 
 
 Left my dear, kind family. May they be blessed for all 
 their kindness to me. 
 
 Madame Leslie was no longer at Mar- 
 moutier, but had been sent to Mount Anville, 
 near Dublin, where her mother subsequently 
 visited her. 
 
 In the meanwhile, Mrs. Leslie was perfectly 
 contented at the convent. She could not be 
 anywhere without making her presence felt 
 beneficially, and here, as everywhere, she 
 found plenty of occupation. She attended the 
 meetings of the Children of Mary, helped in 
 many of the good works carried on at the con- 
 vent, and was always ready to take any of the 
 English pupils into Tours to confession to the 
 English-speaking priest there. She also took 
 pity on a new arrival, an Irish child, who 
 understood no French, and gave her lessons ; 
 in fact, wherever there was a gap, Mrs. Leslie 
 always came forward to fill it. 
 
 Madame de Pambour and her daughter 
 arrived at Marmoutier towards the end of
 
 AUTUMN. 2?I 
 
 July, and Mrs. Leslie noticed that her sister 
 looked ill. In a few days, indeed, her life 
 was in danger, and the last Sacraments were 
 administered. She passed away very gently 
 on August 5, feast of the Transfiguration. 
 The event, like many others, in which sorrow 
 was merged in spiritual consolation and that 
 supernatural attitude of mind now so habitual 
 with Mrs. Leslie, is noted in her diary with 
 a Deo gratias. 
 
 A year and a half previously, Lady Cecil 
 Kerr had also died at Marmoutier, having 
 made her religious profession on her death- 
 bed. Mrs. Leslie had been there during the 
 whole course of her illness, and had kept the 
 novice's mother informed of every detail of her 
 malady. Lady Alice, who was in Scotland, 
 wrote in the midst of her grief: 
 
 I can't say what a comfort it is to all of us to think you are at 
 Marmoutier. It is next best to having her at home. 
 
 Summoned at last by their devoted friend, 
 Lady Lothian and her daughter arrived before 
 the death of the charming young nun, and 
 were able to spend with her the last precious 
 hours of her short life on earth. She was 
 buried in the convent cemetery. Mrs. Leslie 
 made a sketch of her grave, with its surround- 
 ings, and sent it to Lady Lothian for the first 
 anniversary of her death. 
 
 In 1869 Mrs. Leslie went to Scotland and
 
 2 72 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Ireland. She had last parted from her 
 daughter at Conflans after Charlotte's pro- 
 fession, and was anxious to see her again. 
 While in Ireland she made many new friends, 
 all attracted to her by her wonderful person- 
 ality and those gifts of mind and heart which 
 made her at once a power wherever she was. 
 She was one of those rare souls who create 
 an atmosphere around themselves into which 
 others are irresistibly drawn, and this by the 
 exercise of no aggressive art, but by the 
 strong and gentle individuality that conquers, 
 without appearing to claim anything; for 
 while people were feeling and wondering at 
 her singular influence, she herself was solely 
 occupied with the one absorbing desire to 
 love and serve God ever more perfectly. To 
 some it might appear that having now become 
 free from all ties, the great bar to her sanctity 
 might be the absence of any particular duty 
 in life. But although she seemed to come and 
 go, and to do very much as she pleased, 
 having no longer any great cares or anxieties, 
 her purpose and intention were as clear and 
 firm as in the days when she made her 
 greatest sacrifices abnegation of self and sub- 
 mission to the will of God. Her favourite 
 prayer was still : " Do with me, O Lord, as 
 Thou knowest, and as Thou wiliest, for I 
 know that Thou lovest me."
 
 AUTUMN. 273 
 
 She returned once more to Nantes ; then 
 the Franco-Prussian war put an end to her 
 long sojourn in France. Henceforth she 
 could do little but pray for the conversion 
 of that beloved brother whose welfare lay so 
 near her heart ; for when the horrors perpe- 
 trated by the Paris Commune were at an end 
 and the country had settled down again, Mrs. 
 Leslie had fixed her permanent abode in 
 Scotland, and she only saw him at rare in- 
 tervals, the weight of increasing years making 
 travelling abroad less easy.
 
 274 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 
 
 MRS. LESLIE had been spending a few weeks 
 with the Falconer Atlees at Croisic when the 
 war broke out between France and Germany. 
 On account of the disturbed state of France 
 she resolved to return to England, and as her 
 son had been allowed to go to Croisic he was 
 able to travel with her. After some delays, 
 occasioned by the frequent stoppage of the 
 trains to allow of the troops moving to the seat 
 of war, they arrived at St. Malo, but only to 
 find that they had missed their boat, and would 
 have to remain there a few days. When at 
 last they landed at Southampton, they were 
 met by Mrs. Leslie's sister, Mrs. Dowson. 
 Father Leslie returned to his mission at 
 Liverpool, and his mother went to Mrs. Maxwell 
 at Ryde. After a short visit to Ryde, she 
 went to stay with Lady Lothian's daughter, 
 now married to Mr. Gaisford, at Offington, near 
 Worthing, where she met many old friends, 
 and passed some pleasant days. Before in- 
 troducing her to the priest at Worthing, Lady 
 Alice spoke of her to him as a lady who had 
 done more than anyone else to help on the
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 275 
 
 revival of Catholicism in Scotland. On leaving 
 Offington, she went to London, and thence to 
 Edinburgh. It had been decided that her 
 future home should be St. Margaret's Convent, 
 where a few rooms were being built for the 
 accommodation of a certain number of lady 
 boarders. Mrs. Leslie helped considerably 
 towards the building of these rooms. She 
 arrived on the feast of St. Ursula, patroness 
 of the community, and superintended the 
 furnishing of her new abode, which consisted 
 of a pretty sitting-room with a beautiful view, 
 and a small bedroom adjoining. Rooms bear 
 in some sense the impress of their occupants, 
 and Mrs. Leslie's rooms at St. Margaret's were 
 characteristic of her. On the walls were hung 
 her favourite pictures an Ecce Homo reputed 
 by Guido, bought in Rome ; a view in the 
 Eternal City, by Carrodi ; sketches by her son, 
 and by other members of her family. The 
 furniture was simple but comfortable. * Her 
 prie-Dieu stood in the window which faced 
 the convent chapel, and the sanctuary, towards 
 which her thoughts were turned many times 
 in the course of the day. The books she loved 
 were everywhere visible, and contributed their 
 share, with the photographs of her children 
 
 * All the furniture which she did not need for her own use was 
 .^iven to the house of the Jesuit Fathers, when they came to 
 Edinburgh.
 
 276 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 and dearest friends, to make her surroundings 
 homelike. The loving remembrance of many 
 friends seldom left her without the brightness 
 which flowers bring into a room. 
 
 Here Mrs. Leslie passed the remaining 
 twenty-two years of her life, with the exception 
 of short intervals of absence, occupying her 
 time with almost conventual regularity. She 
 had always been an early riser, and to extreme 
 old age, unless prevented by illness, she con- 
 tinued to assist at the half-past seven o'clock 
 Mass in the convent chapel, receiving Com- 
 munion daily. After breakfast followed 
 meditation and spiritual reading, the rest of 
 the morning being spent with her large 
 correspondence, and in work for the poor. 
 Dinner was served in the middle of the day, 
 and she never omitted her particular examen 
 of conscience before it. In the afternoon, she 
 would sometimes pay calls, go to see a poor 
 pensioner of hers, or receive her friends. In 
 the evening she invariably made the Way of 
 the Cross, recited the Rosary, visited the 
 Blessed Sacrament, and read some spiritual 
 book. Long habit no doubt often becomes 
 second nature, but here nature and grace seem 
 to have gone pleasantly hand in hand, and to 
 have prevented a methodical way of life from 
 becoming a mere monotonous groove. There 
 was always so much freshness, gentleness and
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 277 
 
 energy in Mrs. Leslie's manner of going about 
 her pious exercises that they never became 
 tiresome to herself or others. The friends 
 who gathered round her in her charming, quiet 
 room were always sure of a warm welcome, 
 and the keenness of her delight in these visits 
 never wore off. 
 
 But sorrows were not wanting; neither of 
 course were those smaller trials which do not 
 bear so dignified a name, but which by their 
 frequency make up quite a respectable bundle 
 of mortifications and penance. The first 
 shadow cast upon her new home was the 
 news of the atrocities committed by the Com- 
 mune of Paris after the war, and the martyr- 
 dom of her friend and valued confessor, Pere 
 Olivaint. 
 
 In April, 1871, a much regretted change 
 took place at St. Margaret's, in the removal 
 of Father O'Donnell, who had been the devoted 
 chaplain of the community for twenty-six years, 
 and a special friend of the Leslie family, having 
 received both father and son into the Church. 
 He was appointed by the Bishop to. the parish 
 of Falkirk, but until his presbytery was put 
 in order he returned frequently to the convent 
 to pack and superintend the removal of such 
 furniture as he wished to have. Mrs. Leslie 
 notes these passing visits in her diary, always 
 with a word of kind regard and esteem.
 
 278 ELEANOR LESLIE 
 
 During many of these years at St. Margaret's 
 Father Leslie was allowed to go to Edinburgh 
 in the autumn. Some work would be found 
 for him, such as preaching in the Jesuit Church, 
 or giving the Spiritual Exercises to a religious 
 community in the north ; or he would make 
 his own retreat at Dalkeith, combined with 
 which journey was a short visit to his mother. 
 It would seem as if in this way, God rewarded 
 Mrs. Leslie for the large-heartedness with which 
 she had given up her only son. Neither mother 
 nor son ever came to look on these visits as 
 a matter of course. There was always a degree 
 of uncertainty about them, which made his 
 arrival each year like a freshly bestowed 
 blessing. At first, they would make some little 
 excursion, or pass a few days at Huntlyburn 
 or Carstairs, but as her infirmities increased, 
 and moving about became a difficulty, the 
 whole of the time allowed would be spent at 
 St. Margaret's. In June 1871, Mrs. Leslie went 
 to see him at Liverpool, and from thence crossed 
 over to Ireland, and paid a second visit to the 
 Sacred Heart Convent at Mount Anville. Here 
 she made her usual annual retreat, an exercise 
 never omitted, while the necessary strength for 
 it lasted. Then she returned to her quiet home 
 in Edinburgh. We have still to touch on the 
 most obvious feature of Mrs. Leslie's residence 
 at St. Margaret's the living under the same
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 279 
 
 roof with one of her beloved children, given 
 long years since to God. 
 
 All seemed indeed exceptional, in the result 
 of the sacrifices made by this tender mother. 
 What son, following a worldly career, could 
 have been so much to her, perhaps even so 
 much with her, as he whom she had with 
 most loving hands put away from her? What 
 daughter could have watched over her declining 
 years with greater care than she, who had 
 given up father and mother for the kingdom of 
 heaven's sake ? Perhaps the clue to these 
 things lies in the hidden measure of generosity 
 with which the offering had been made. 
 
 Among the entries in Mrs. Leslie's diary, 
 relating to her devotional practices, alms, 
 correspondence and passing events, we find on 
 September 8, 1871, the following: 
 
 My beloved and good sister Emma [Mrs. Falconer Atlee] 
 died at St. Helier, Jersey. R.I. P. 
 
 In 1872 the usual visits were paid, only 
 Madame Leslie was now at Roehampton, and 
 having gone south to see her, her mother went 
 on to Ryde and Southampton. Mrs. Maxwell's 
 daughter writing from Ryde says : 
 
 It was when dear Auntie spent so much time with us here, 
 that my love and reverence for her became as it were a part of 
 my life. It seemed to me that she carried about with her always 
 an atmosphere of love and strength ; and it is much more than 
 a mere pleasure to me to remember that she once told me 
 I occupied a place in her heart, very near her own children.
 
 2 8o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Before leaving Roehampton, Mrs. Leslie 
 had followed a retreat given by Father Morris, 
 which she ever afterwards remembered and 
 spoke of as one of the best and most helpful 
 she had ever made. At the request of the 
 ladies who were present, Madame Leslie took 
 notes of the meditations. Nearly all Mrs. 
 Leslie's oldest Catholic friends were among 
 the retreatants, and it was altogether a par- 
 ticularly happy moment in her life. Having 
 paid her visit to Ryde, she was again at Roe- 
 hampton in September, and had the pleasure 
 of seeing Mr. Robertson, Mr. Palmer, Lord 
 Lothian, and other friends of auld lang syne. 
 
 The brightness of 1873, an d thenceforth 
 that of nearly every successive year, was 
 dimmed by the loss of some cherished friend 
 or other. Mr. Robertson's death made the 
 next gap, and was quickly followed by that 
 of Mr. Hope Scott. To so affectionate a 
 nature as Mrs. Leslie's, such losses were 
 naturally very acutely felt, and as may be 
 imagined, her departed friends were never 
 forgotten. Their names, with the anniver- 
 saries of their death, were inscribed in a 
 little book always at hand, and at each re- 
 curring date she had Mass said for the repose 
 of their souls. 
 
 The next trouble was caused by Father 
 Leslie's serious illness at Liverpool. When
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 281 
 
 the news reached his mother, she was herself 
 too ill to travel, and had to bear the double 
 burden of anxiety, endured at a distance from 
 the object of it. The damp, raw climate of 
 Liverpool had occasioned a succession of 
 violent chills, and the rupture of several small 
 blood vessels in the throat. The hemorrhage 
 was so severe, that grave fears were enter- 
 tained for the patient's life. Then a change 
 for the better took place, and on the day of 
 Mrs. Leslie's arrival, when at last she was 
 able to go to Liverpool, for the first time 
 there was no hemorrhage. The Rector 
 kindly allowed her to see her son, and to 
 take him, as soon as he was strong enough 
 to bear the journey, to Rhyl, where he rapidly 
 regained health and strength. 
 
 Many delightful walks and talks they en- 
 joyed together, and Mrs. Leslie felt well 
 repaid for all the suffering and anxiety she 
 had lately undergone. They went to Shrews- 
 bury, and visited the Benedictine novitiate 
 at Belmont, where they met the future Arch- 
 bishop of Sydney. Mrs. Leslie always main- 
 tained that he was the handsomest man she 
 had ever seen. At Gloucester, they were 
 hospitably received by an old friend, and 
 passed some pleasant days in this interesting 
 Cathedral city. From thence, Father Leslie 
 went on to the Jesuit Fathers at Bristol, his
 
 282 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 mother proceeding to London, Roehampton 
 and Brighton, where he rejoined her for 
 a few days. Mr. Falconer Atlee and his 
 daughters were staying there, and the five 
 formed a happy family party. When they 
 dispersed, Mrs. Leslie returned to Edinburgh. 
 Active and energetic as she still was, signs 
 began to appear of failing strength; 1874 
 opened with another slight illness, and again 
 in April, the diary notes frequent attacks of 
 giddiness, and of general indisposition, with 
 touching prayers for patience. Her visit 
 however, to England, took place as usual in 
 July, and she made her annual retreat at 
 the Training College, Wandsworth, where 
 Madame Leslie was now Superioress. Her 
 mother took great interest in this new founda- 
 tion, and was present at the first Mass said 
 in the old house on West Hill, which had 
 souvenirs attached to it connected with her 
 girlhood. She contributed many useful gifts 
 towards the furnishing of the new convent, 
 and among others a clock which is still 
 a reliable timekeeper. Wandsworth had always 
 been very near her heart, and in her 
 anxiety to do something for the spread of 
 Catholicity in the home of her early youth 
 she half resolved to fix her abode there. 
 Many friends wishing to keep her always 
 with them urged her to do so, but for various
 
 

 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 283 
 
 reasons it was thought better for her to con- 
 tinue to make her home in Edinburgh. 
 
 The next few years passed away almost 
 uneventfully, except for the continued havoc 
 caused by death in her large circle of rela- 
 tions and friends. A little increasing weak- 
 ness might be noticed in her, a few downward 
 steps bodily, but an ever-growing peace and 
 child-like confidence in God's goodness and 
 mercy. Her sister, Mrs. Maxwell, died in 
 1876, and three years later, her youngest 
 sister Emily, Mrs. Dowson. The death of 
 Mr. Sigismund Rucker, her trustee and ad- 
 viser in past difficulties, had occurred in 
 1875, an d was a ^ so a great sorrow; that of 
 Lady Lothian in 1877 a still greater. She 
 had gone to Rome, with some English 
 pilgrims, to present an offering of money from 
 the Catholics of England to the Pope, on the 
 occasion of his episcopal Jubilee, and had 
 been seized with inflammation of the lungs. 
 The news of her death was first known in 
 England by a telegram sent by the Times 
 correspondent. Other telegrams and letters 
 followed speedily, with the anxiously-awaited 
 details. Father Wynne wrote from Bourne- 
 mouth : 
 
 On Tuesday last, several letters were written from Rome, all 
 giving accounts of Lady Lothian, and detailing all she was doing, 
 mentioning that she had borne the journey better than any of her
 
 284 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 party, and was in extraordinary health and spirits. Lord Ralph 
 had arrived, and Gilbert Talbot ; the Kenyons were also with her, 
 as well as her party of lady friends who had travelled with her 
 from England. Last night Lord Henry had a telegram from 
 Rome, followed by letters from Lord Lothian and Lady Alice, 
 announcing that Lady Lothian had been seized with inflammation 
 of the lungs, and leaving little hope of recovery. This morning 
 I received a telegram dated Sunday, 7.35 p.m., Rome, from 
 Mrs. Kenyon. Break news to papa. Aunt Cecil has expired very 
 peacefully this evening after receiving the fast Sacraments. I have 
 neither time nor heart to make any comments, but you knew 
 Lady Lothian well enough to be aware that if she had made the 
 disposal of her end for herself it could not have been ordered 
 more in accordance with her inclinations at Rome, her last act 
 to head a pilgrimage and lay her offerings at his feet on the 
 Jubilee of the Holy Father, surrounded by her Catholic friends 
 and relations, and fortified with the rites of the Church. I should 
 apply to her the epitaph of the child of a friend of mine who died 
 in Rome while I was there, " Venne a Roma per passare in Cielo." 
 
 When the obsequies had taken place, and 
 the requisite formalities had been complied 
 with, the remains of Lady Lothian were 
 brought to England, and thence to Dalkeith, 
 where they were buried under the sanctuary 
 of St. David's Church, of which she was 
 foundress. Mrs. Leslie was at the funeral, 
 which took place on June 27, and on the 29th 
 travelled to England with Lady Amabel 
 Kerr. In their grief, Lady Lothian's children 
 clung affectionately to her whom they re- 
 membered as one of their mother's dearest 
 friends since their childhood. They had long 
 called her their " Grannie," but now the word 
 had a new meaning for them, and two of
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 285 
 
 them at least came to her often for sympathy 
 and advice. When Lord Ralph's marriage 
 with Lady Anne Howard was decided, he 
 brought her to Wands worth, where Mrs. 
 Leslie was then staying. On entering the 
 room he kissed her affectionately, saying, 
 " Mrs. Leslie, I have brought you a new 
 grandchild. Anne, kiss your Grannie ! " 
 
 Meanwhile the list of sorrowful anniver- 
 saries in the little book grew year by year. 
 On April 5, 1879, Mr. William Palmer died, 
 and left another painful blank. Whenever he 
 had been in Scotland, he had passed hours in 
 Mrs. Leslie's pretty sitting-room at St. Mar- 
 garet's ; and then there were the old delightful 
 Roman days. Archbishop Porter, another 
 valued friend, wrote to one of her daughters 
 when he was in Rome about this time : 
 
 Remember me very kindly to your mother. I never pass the 
 Piazza Campitelli without thinking of Mr. Palmer, and somehow 
 your mother is always associated in my mind with the memory of 
 that holy man. 
 
 In June of this year, Mr. Falconer Atlee 
 had a slight paralytic seizure, and his 
 daughters were very naturally anxious about 
 his state. It was always difficult for them 
 to approach him on the subject of religion, 
 on account of his extreme reserve, and Mrs. 
 Leslie had a great desire to see him, and 
 make another effort to win him for God.
 
 286 ELEANOR LESLIE, 
 
 She therefore determined to go to Dieppe, 
 to which place he had been taken for change 
 of air. She left Edinburgh on August 5, break- 
 ing her journey at York, and arriving the 
 next day in London, where she was met by 
 her son, who was to accompany her to 
 Dieppe. It was her last, long journey. Having 
 made a short retreat under Father Morris 
 and seen a number of friends, she crossed 
 over to Boulogne, and reached Dieppe on 
 the 2oth. There she remained for ten days. 
 The undertaking was no trifling one at the 
 age of seventy-nine, and her brother was 
 deeply touched by so striking a proof of her 
 affection, although the chief object of the visit 
 was not then attained. Stopping for a few 
 days at Wandsworth, on her return journey 
 she wrote to one of her daughters : 
 
 Your poor uncle was certainly better in some respects, but 
 his life and state are always precarious, which I think he 
 realizes with a gentle submission and patience. Pray much 
 for him. 
 
 They never met again on earth, though 
 Mr. Atlee had still ten more years to live, 
 his sister outliving him by three. She was 
 back in Edinburgh on September 17, and 
 never left it again, except for two short visits 
 to Perth, where the nuns of St. Margaret's 
 have a branch house. After a few days' rest 
 the ordinary rule of life was again taken up,
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 287 
 
 and notwithstanding that she had already as 
 usual, made the Spiritual Exercises while in the 
 south, she followed the children's retreat at 
 St. Margaret's, on the re-opening of the school 
 after the holidays. No one could ever per- 
 suade her, on the score of possible fatigue, 
 not to avail herself of every attainable means 
 of sanctification. When urged to take a 
 little extra rest in the morning, she would say 
 cheerfully but with great decision, "At my 
 age, the time must soon come when I shall 
 be obliged to rest. How I should then re- 
 proach myself if I had ever missed Mass and 
 Holy Communion through my own fault ! " 
 
 As she was now unable any longer to 
 extend the sphere of her usefulness to friends 
 scattered about in so many distant places, Mrs. 
 Leslie turned her attention more particularly 
 to the needs of those nearer to her. She had 
 been much struck by accounts which had 
 reached her of the extreme poverty of the 
 priests in the west of Scotland, who were often 
 wanting in the barest necessaries of life. With 
 her wonted energy, she set to work, and under- 
 took in her eighty-first year to supply a 
 number of them with warm under-clothing 
 made with her own deft hands. These gifts 
 were sent periodically for distribution to the 
 Bishop of Argyll and the Isles. 
 
 The arrival of each day's post was an im-
 
 288 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 portant moment in her well-filled day. One 
 morning, a letter affected her deeply. A priest 
 whom she had known intimately and esteemed 
 highly in his days of fervour, had, owing chiefly 
 to some misunderstanding, been suspended. 
 In a fit of bitterness and discouragement on 
 this account, he had lived for many years 
 without practising his religion, though he had 
 kept the faith. The letter was from this man, 
 and it related that on the feast of the Nativity 
 of our Lady, he had been at Farm Street 
 Church, and a sermon, the subject of which 
 was recourse to the Blessed Virgin and confi- 
 dence in her intercession, struck him profoundly, 
 not only on account of the words and the 
 earnest tone of the preacher, but also because 
 the voice recalled old associations of the good 
 days long gone by. He had never before seen 
 Father Leslie as a priest, and had not now 
 recognized him, but the familiar voice had 
 touched the right chord, and he resolved to 
 return to the path of virtue. Having ascer- 
 tained whose were the words which had moved 
 him so strangely, he wrote to Mrs. Leslie to 
 ask for her prayers, and to beg that she would 
 see him, if he might venture to approach her, 
 in spite of his unworthiness. In all the in- 
 tervening years since they had met, she had 
 never ceased to pray for him, and great was 
 her joy in being able to welcome him back to
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 289 
 
 repentance, and no less great the tact and 
 delicacy with which she sought to strengthen 
 his crushed and humbled heart. He persevered 
 in his good resolutions, and died not long 
 afterwards a fervent penitent. 
 
 Feeble as Mrs. Leslie's bodily health was 
 now becoming, her mind was still vigorous, her 
 sight and hearing unimpaired (she rarely used 
 glasses except for reading very small print), and 
 she could read, write, work and play the piano 
 as well as ever, though not for so long a time 
 at a stretch. Nevertheless she was careful to 
 keep the end well in view, and she often spoke 
 as if preparing for death at no distant period. 
 Once, during her last visit to Wandsworth, her 
 daughter found her room full of old letters, the 
 contents of a trunk which must have been for 
 thirty or forty years in charge of her trustee. 
 " Dear child," said Mrs. Leslie humbly, "please 
 burn all these letters. I used to keep them, 
 I think from vanity." 
 
 The following letter to her niece, Miss 
 Falconer Atlee, in answer to some queries 
 about Darwin, is a proof of the clearness of 
 her intellect and of her power of mind in her 
 eighty-third year : 
 
 MY DEAREST GEORGIE, My flannel work not being ready 
 for me, I will endeavour in a few lines to reply to your last 
 letter. First of all, however, I must express the hope that your 
 father is fairly well in spite of persistent east wind. 
 
 The late Mr. Darwin was son of a Dr. Darwin, who wrote 
 
 v
 
 2 9 o ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 a foolish poem called " Loves of the Plants." He was a pro- 
 fessed atheist, and it is likely the son may have inherited 
 some of his ideas from him. Mr. Darwin was, I believe, a 
 plausible writer, and his theory of our derivation from apes was 
 eagerly seized upon by sceptics. But there was always a most 
 important link wanting, which neither tradition, history, science, 
 nor experience has supplied. The Tablet newspaper of Sunday, 
 I think, notices this; but in 1878 Willie wrote me the follow- 
 ing : " If you want a fair exposure of the Darwin system, get 
 All the Articles of the Datwin Faith it is a pamphlet, price 6d., 
 by the Rev. . Morris, a Protestant clergyman and by the same 
 author, The Double Dilemma of Darwinism." Mivart has also 
 written (if I remember rightly) upon Darwin and Huxley, but just 
 now I could not lay my hand upon his criticism. If Mr. Darwin 
 liked to believe he sprang from an ape, I cannot agree with his 
 opinion, as I consider the Mosaical account of our creation both 
 more noble and more reasonable. But it is not enough to have 
 the eyes of human reason ; we need the superior light of divine 
 illumination not, I may add, to unravel the ways of God with 
 man, but heartily to accept the dealings of the Infinite, and bow 
 before certain difficulties, which to me are far less than any 
 human interpretations ever put upon them. 
 
 The Fathers of the Church called the devil the " ape of God," 
 and I should imagine any progeny or scholars proceeding from 
 him would be necessarily young monkeys, whose whole object 
 would be to mock God's work in human beings, whether in their 
 degraded form, their action, or by their clever instinct. Perhaps 
 the person who wrote the following epitaph upon a schoolmaster 
 in the churchyard of Curry, near Edinburgh, had some such 
 thought in his mind : 
 
 Beneath these stanes lie Mickie's banes 
 O Satan should you tak' him, 
 Appoint him tutor to your weans 
 And clever de'ils he'll rnak' them. 
 
 Let us be thankful that Almighty God breathed into us living 
 souls, and earnestly strive to rise higher and higher, from such a 
 beginning to a happy eternity with our Lord and Savour Jesus 
 Christ.
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 2 gi 
 
 Willie is just now at Bath. When next I write, I will ask 
 him to send you the tracts above-mentioned. 
 
 I am thankful to be fairly well, and at Mass and Holy Com- 
 munion this morning. 
 
 With much love, believe me, more than ever, 
 
 Your loving Auntie, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 About this time, a pleasant renewal of 
 intercourse took place between Mrs. Leslie 
 and Lord Archibald Douglas, now a priest. 
 On the occasion of the opening of a small 
 Catholic church at Queensferry he was asked 
 to preach, and accepted the invitation gladly, 
 his interest in Queensferry dating from boy- 
 hood, when he lived not far from it. In those 
 days, as there was neither priest nor church 
 in the place, he used to give catechetical in- 
 struction to the children of Catholic parents 
 on Sunday afternoons. For this reason he 
 afterwards called Queensferry his first mission. 
 On his return to Scotland he slept at the 
 Hermitage at St. Margaret's, renewed his 
 acquaintance with Mrs. Leslie and kept it up 
 till her death. 
 
 In 1882 died Lord Henry Kerr and the 
 Rev. Mr. O'Donnell, the "Padre" as he was 
 affectionately termed by all connected with 
 St. Margaret's. Mrs. Leslie's own health was 
 rapidly declining, and on January i, 1883, Holy 
 Communion was administered to her in her 
 room. For a whole month she did not leave
 
 292 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 her bed, and when again able to move into 
 her sitting-room she required the support of 
 a stick. It was procured for her by Mr. 
 Reginald Horsley, whose conversion had been 
 the subject of her intense solicitude. They 
 had become fast friends, and, in spite of the 
 disparity of their ages, enjoyed each other's 
 society extremely, Mr. Horsley delighting in 
 her keen intellect, fund of information and 
 amusing anecdote. Her memory was so 
 good, her knowledge of men and things of 
 bygone time so accurate, that her reminis- 
 cences were always interesting. Just in the 
 right place she would bring in an apt quota- 
 tion, a witty allusion, and suit her conversation 
 so admirably to her hearers that everyone 
 was charmed. Mr. Horsley had been on the 
 "Challenger" cruise, and had been introduced 
 to the convent for the purpose of classifying a 
 valuable collection of shells which it possessed. 
 When his visits in pursuit of conchology were 
 at an end, he continued to come for instruction 
 in the Catholic religion ; and after a time, to 
 Mrs. Leslie's great joy, he was received into 
 the Church. He then applied himself to 
 medical studies, married and settled in Edin- 
 burgh, spending many a leisure hour in the 
 society of her whom he regarded as a second 
 mother. 
 
 September brought Father Leslie for his
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 293 
 
 annual visit, and after a happy fortnight the 
 parting, now always a rather sorrowful event 
 in the growing uncertainty whether each would 
 be the last, was softened by the arrival of her 
 brother's two daughters. This indeed was a 
 farewell, but to Mrs. Leslie's nieces a store- 
 house of tender memories for years to come. 
 
 Then another beloved friend, the Dowager 
 Lady Herries, was gathered to her rest. She 
 had been a frequent visitor at St. Margaret's 
 since the beginning of 1880, when she had 
 passed the Lenten season there in a kind of 
 semi-retreat, one of the reasons for her stay 
 being easy access by rail to Dumfries, where 
 she was founding a convent of Perpetual 
 Adoration, in which prayers would be un- 
 ceasingly offered for the conversion of 
 Scotland and the welfare of her own children. 
 Mrs. Leslie and Lady Herries were kindred 
 spirits, and an endless source of edification to 
 the nuns.* 
 
 In her growing infirmities Mrs. Leslie was 
 naturally dependent on her daughter for all 
 those little alleviations which her maid, de- 
 voted though she was, was incapable of giving. 
 When the community retreat was about to 
 begin, Lady Herries said to Mother Mary 
 
 * Soon after their first meeting Lady Herries wrote to her 
 cousin, Miss Langdale : "You told me everything but what 
 you ought about Mrs. Leslie. You said she was charming and 
 delightful, but you did not say that she," was a saint."
 
 294 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Sales : " My dear, you must make your re- 
 treat in peace. I'll look after your mother 
 meantime." And this she did in the most 
 careful, affectionate way. Nothing could ex- 
 ceed her admiration for Mrs. Leslie. One 
 Saturday, Mother Mary Sales found her in- 
 tently occupied in mending. On her ex- 
 pressing some surprise Lady Herries said : 
 " My dear, you know I think your mother 
 quite perfect, and I want to do everything 
 just as she does. She always does her mend- 
 ing on Saturdays, and I mean to do the same." 
 Two extracts from letters, written by Mrs. 
 Leslie in 1883, show how constantly her own 
 death was before her eyes, and how earnestly 
 she was preparing herself for it. Both letters 
 were addressed to her Sacred Heart nun : 
 
 The weather is very variable and trying, so that my old 
 heart still beats feebly, though I have been able (Deo gratias 
 a thousand times) to go to Mass three times this week. God is 
 so good to me. I have no suffering, and everything for mind 
 and body that I can desire. Pray, dear child, that I may make 
 a good use of His mercy, and according to your dear prayer, that 
 my last hour may be my best hour. 
 
 A little later she wrote : 
 
 BELOVED CHILD, I was intending to write to you for your 
 birthday on Friday. Well, what can I say but to renew my 
 fervent prayers that every fresh year may add to all those graces 
 that may make your vocation more perfect, and thus make you 
 more pleasing to the Sacred Heart of our blessed Saviour ? 
 Most gratefully do I thank Him for all that He has done for 
 you, and for all that He has done for me. Let us praise Him
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 295 
 
 more and more for His goodness, think more constantly of it, 
 love it more, and yet feel we can never praise Him enough. 
 Your dear father's grave has now been enclosed in the little 
 Catholic plot belonging to the Convent, in the Grange Cemetery. 
 I have settled that it shall also be my resting-place when it will 
 please our heavenly Father to call me hence. Willie and Mary 
 are both pleased with this arrangement, and in the meantime, by 
 their devoted prayers and care, are striving to keep me here a 
 little longer. 
 
 Even had it not been for her holy vigi- 
 lance, the gradual dropping away of her 
 contemporaries, some of them younger than 
 herself, would have kept their beloved 
 mother's end constantly before her children's 
 minds. 
 
 In the beginning of 1884 Lady Henry Kerr 
 died, and for a time it seemed probable that 
 Mrs. Leslie would not long survive her. A 
 severe attack of the heart so prostrated her 
 that the last Sacraments were administered, 
 and she received the solemn rites with deep 
 devotion, and that ever present gratitude which 
 always made her piety so touching. But the 
 measure of her days was not yet complete, and 
 by degrees she was restored to much of her 
 former health, though with strength greatly 
 diminished. The following letter from Mother 
 Henrietta Kerr, Lady Henry's daughter, who 
 was herself slowly dying of consumption, was 
 written on the occasion of her mother's death 
 and Mrs. Leslie's illness :
 
 296 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 CONVENT OF THE SACRED HEART, ROEHAMPTON. 
 
 March 6, 1884. 
 
 MY DEAR SISTER MARY SALES, Since February 4, two 
 pages of a letter to my dear Granny have been lying on my 
 desk. When I got thus far, I was in hopes of having, in another 
 couple of days, some souvenirs of my mother to offer her. But 
 the Frenchman has kept me all this time waiting for photographs, 
 and my remonstrances can elicit nothing beyond the courteous 
 assurance " que dans quelques jours, il aura 1'honneur," &c. 
 Will you explain this to my dear Granny, with my best of loves, 
 and do not let the thought lurk in her mind or yours, that I did 
 not appreciate keenly the kind sympathy you sent me. I scarcely 
 write any letters myself now ; but my Granny knows that she is 
 my only Granny in the world. I hear that she has had the Last 
 Sacraments. I don't mean to be anxious, but send her my con- 
 gratulations on sharing my spiritual luxuries. All the same, I 
 would be very glad to have a postcard from you, with news of her 
 occasionally. In spite of all one's arguments and reasonings with 
 one's self, the words " Last Sacraments " in connection with those 
 we care for so much, cannot but give one a pang. I think of her 
 so often, and remind Almighty God that I know He will do what- 
 ever is best and most loving by her. 
 
 I send her and you two little leaflets, completed in spite of 
 my enemy the Frenchman. I am sending one to Mother Chattie, 
 who wrote me the kindest of letters. Pray for me, dear Sister 
 Mary Sales, and believe me, 
 
 Yours affectionately in Christ Jesus 
 
 H. KERR, R.S.C.J. 
 
 After an illness of six weeks Mrs. Leslie 
 noted in her diary a visit to the Blessed 
 Sacrament, the first sign of her convalescence ; 
 and Mother Henrietta Kerr preceded to her 
 rest, on December i, 1884, the "dear Granny" 
 whom she feared to lose. 
 
 A few more years remained, during which, 
 although she seldom left the Convent, Mrs.
 
 AT ST MARGARET'S. 297 
 
 Leslie was surrounded by friends old and young, 
 to whom the warmth of her welcome, and the 
 unclouded brightness of her intellect were a 
 never failing source of happiness and good. In 
 a little note to Madame Leslie during this 
 year, she says : 
 
 Mary and I lately played Albert's favourite duet by Mozart, 
 and we are going to have more music to-day. 
 
 In a longer letter to the same she wrote : 
 
 I wonder and ask why do I live on ? and sometimes feel afraid 
 of God's patience and mercy, seeing how far I am from deserving 
 it all. Dear Mary is fairly well, and has some nice children in 
 the school. She has been reading to them Lady Herbert's 
 account of Don Bosco from the Month. He is really a 
 wonderful man. I wish we had him here, to make one of his 
 admirable foundations for boys. As for the present educational 
 system generally, I am still of the same opinion as the late Mr. 
 Drummond of Albany, who said in Parliament, " You teach your 
 children, but you do not educate them." And it is true, that their 
 poor brains are crammed with much that is useless, whilst the 
 heart and mind are untouched, and the will left to its dangerous 
 self. 
 
 Resigned as Mrs. Leslie was to all the in- 
 conveniences and discomforts inseparable from 
 old age, her natural energy never could ac- 
 custom itself to her bodily infirmities, and in 
 the course of 1885, one of her quick movements 
 occasioned a bad fall, which again made her 
 an invalid for some time, and from which she 
 never entirely recovered. Her daily walks 
 were henceforth limited to a few turns round
 
 298 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 the Convent garden, leaning on her daughter's 
 arm, and on her trusty stick. But an unex- 
 pected pleasure was in store, in the form of a 
 visit from Father Coleridge. The principal 
 object of his coming to Edinburgh was to see 
 and consult her with reference to a Life of Lady 
 Lothian. The work had been already contem- 
 plated by Lady Georgiana Fullerton, and some 
 part of it was already written. Mrs. Leslie 
 had made over to her certain letters connected 
 with Lady Lothian's conversion, had had 
 several interviews with her concerning the 
 Life, and had written to her some few times 
 on the same subject, supplying Lady Georgiana 
 with facts concerning her own history for the 
 part that was inseparable from Lady Lothian's. 
 But the talented writer had died before the 
 book was half written, and Father Coleridge 
 had been asked to continue it. Some difficulty 
 as to dates having occurred, he visited Mrs. 
 Leslie at St. Margaret's, and her faithfully 
 kept diary proved an infallible guide. Another 
 feature of his visit was a never-forgotten drive 
 which they took together round Arthur's Seat, 
 that he might get a notion of the environs of 
 beautiful Edinburgh. When they parted, it 
 was with the mutual wish that another meeting 
 between them might be possible. But Father 
 Coleridge fell into ill-health, the Life of Lady 
 Lothian remained unfinished ; and it was
 
 MRS LESLIE AT THE AGE OF EIGHTY-SIX. 
 
 From a Photograph by /)>-. Horslev. \To face Page
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 299 
 
 when too weak to endure the fatigue ot 
 ordinary visitors that he said to Father Leslie, 
 "There are two people I should like to see 
 again Newman and your mother." 
 
 The only satisfactory portrait existing of 
 Mrs. Leslie was a beautiful miniature by 
 Robertson, painted in the bloom and heyday 
 of her youth, shortly after her marriage, the 
 reproduction of which forms the frontispiece to 
 this volume. Her children and intimate friends 
 had long desired to possess a faithful likeness of 
 her charming old age, but she was extremely 
 averse from having her photograph taken. 
 She had yielded two or three times to their 
 entreaties, but the result had never been en- 
 tirely successful, and they had given up the 
 hope of getting her to sit for her portrait 
 again. Dr. Horsley was however, an excel- 
 lent amateur photographer, and was one day 
 taking views of the convent and garden when, 
 after some persuasion, Mrs. Leslie consented 
 to sit for him. The result was a very good 
 likeness. She is represented sitting in her 
 own chair, with a wicker table beside her, the 
 gift of Lady Herries, with her favourite books, 
 a photograph of her son, and some flowers 
 arranged upon it. 
 
 June, 1886, was memorable in the annals 
 of St. Margaret's by the celebration of the 
 fiftieth anniversary of the foundation of the
 
 300 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 convent, the first to exist in Scotland since 
 the Reformation. Mrs. Leslie entered warmly 
 into the spirit of the celebration, and was 
 able to be present at the High Mass and 
 Te Deum. 
 
 About this time she wrote to Madame 
 Leslie, then at Liege : 
 
 I was very glad to receive your last interesting letter and 
 to find that you had followed a retreat to your mind. My day is 
 now over, both for retreats and sermons, and I sometimes wish 
 for more oral instruction, as I think spoken words would make 
 a deeper impression on my slothfulness than reading good books, 
 although I should be most grateful for those I have, and for my 
 old eyes being able to decipher their contents. The best retreats 
 I ever had during the last thirty years were those of Pere 
 Rubillon, S.J., at the Villa Lante, Rome, of Pere Hubin, S.J., at 
 Nantes, and that of Father Morris, S.J., at Roehampton, of which 
 you furtively made such excellent notes. 
 
 In the same 'letter she alluded in terms of 
 deep sympathy to the tragic death of the young 
 Earl of Dalkeith and the sorrow it occasioned 
 to his family, and continued : 
 
 My beloved, when I hear of such sad events, though we know 
 the mercy and wisdom hidden in them, I wonder at my exemp- 
 tion, and humbly think of those words of St. Francis Xavier, 
 " the greatest cross is to be without a cross." Pray, my dearest, 
 that this may help me to do more for Him, who bore so cruel 
 a one for me. 
 
 It will perhaps be remembered that when 
 Mr. Falconer Atlee's wife and two daughters 
 became Catholics in 1859, his eldest daughter, 
 Julia, and her husband were extremely dis-
 
 AT ST MARGARET'S. 301 
 
 pleased and even antagonistic, but that Mrs. 
 Leslie never would despair of her niece's 
 conversion. Then Mr. Lauerbach, Julia's first 
 husband, died, and some time afterwards his 
 widow married the Comte de Coetlogon, a good 
 Catholic belonging to an old and well-known 
 Breton family. She had suggested that the 
 wedding should take place at the chapel of the 
 British Embassy, but to this M. de Coetlogon 
 would not agree, her father and brother being 
 entirely on his side. The ceremony was there- 
 fore a purely Catholic one. M. de Coetlogon 
 died suddenly in 1887, and in her deep sorrow 
 Julia turned to religion for consolation. Even- 
 tually she abjured Protestantism and was 
 received into the Church. * 
 
 In June of this year the whole empire 
 celebrated the Queen's Golden Jubilee, and 
 Mrs. Leslie, whose memory reached back 
 eighty years and beyond, took a lively interest 
 in the event. She had witnessed the Coro- 
 nation procession, and could therefore enter 
 the more enthusiastically into the general 
 rejoicings. The address, presented by the nuns 
 of Scotland, was illuminated at St. Margaret's, 
 the greatest pleasure being taken in its prepara- 
 tion. As daylight faded on the memorable 
 
 * Two other nieces of Mrs. Leslie's became Catholics, her sister 
 Emily's daughter, who married a good French Catholic, M. Perreur, 
 and whose eldest son is a priest; and the only daughter of Mr. 
 Leslie's sister Charlotte Geddes.
 
 302 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 2ist of June, the hills round Edinburgh were 
 ablaze with bonfires, and when Arthur's seat 
 was crowned with light, Mrs. Leslie's loyalty 
 was as exuberant as any. Even at her advanced 
 age she had much of the freshness of youth, 
 and could the better sympathize with what was 
 passing round her, remembering so vividly, not 
 only all the chief events of the Queen's reign, 
 but those also of the two preceding ones. 
 
 In August she again enjoyed keenly Father 
 Leslie's visit, and at Christmas was able to be 
 present at midnight Mass in the convent chapel. 
 
 The most notable event in 1888 was the 
 visit of Monsignor (afterwards Cardinal) 
 Persico, Papal Delegate to Ireland, who, when 
 he went to Scotland, having old friends at 
 St. Margaret's, took up his abode for a few days 
 at the Hermitage. He was delighted with Mrs. 
 Leslie, and spent some time in conversation with 
 her. The following letter gives an account of 
 his visit : 
 
 ST. MARGARET'S CONVENT, Edinburgh, 
 
 June 2, 1888. 
 
 BELOVED CHILD, I was very glad to hear you had received 
 your watch safely, and I hope your next will tell me it is going 
 well. I am sure Julia will be pleased to hear from you, and 
 accordingly I enclose her letter to me, which need not be 
 returned. I must now tell you of the delightful visit we have 
 had from Monsignor Persico. He wrote to ask if he and his 
 servant could have rooms here, and being answered in the 
 affirmative, they arrived at a quarter past five a.m. yesterday 
 week. He said his Mass at six, and our Archbishop called for
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 303 
 
 him at ten, took him out and lionized him all day. Monsignor 
 gave us Benediction in the evening, and said he must be quiet 
 and write letters next day Saturday. He did so, dined with the 
 Jesuits at 4, and again gave Benediction at 6-30. On Sunday 
 he said the 8 o'clock Mass here and gave the Papal Blessing. 
 About noon, he paid me a most charming visit, and really led me 
 to open my whole heart to him (though not in confession), when 
 he gave me some excellent and consoling advice. The last is for 
 yourself alone, and I know will please your loving heart. He 
 dined with Dr. Smith and came later, but retired early, intending 
 to leave early on Monday, when he said all his office at 2 a.m., 
 purposing to start at 5, and arranging to return here after his visit 
 to Fort Augustus and his going with the monks to the Island of 
 lona, where he expected to meet all the Scotch bishops. Two of 
 our nuns were under him in India and thus are old friends. But 
 his manner was so kind and simple, everybody felt at home with 
 him, and dear Mary was quite elevated. 
 
 Now I must ask you to pray for dear Mother Margaret 
 Teresa, who is really ill and for some time past I have thought 
 declining. I am thankful to be well, and Mary too, in health, 
 but the foot not cured. 
 
 The rooms at the Hermitage were made most bright and 
 suitable for Monsignor and his boy Donato, as he called him ; 
 and now here, the workmen have left and we look spick and span. 
 God bless you ; much love. 
 
 Ever your devoted mother, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Unhappily, soon after the good report of 
 her health in the above letter, the weakness 
 of heart from which she had before suffered 
 again caused serious alarm. Extreme unction 
 was administered, and Father Leslie was sent 
 for. Many visits of inquiry from anxious friends 
 followed from the Archbishop of Edinburgh, 
 the Abbot of Fort Augustus, Mgr. Talbot, Lord 
 Ralph and Lady Anne Kerr. Lady Alice
 
 304 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Gaisford brought her young sons to receive 
 " Granny's blessing." Ceaseless prayers went 
 up from the hearts that loved her that she 
 might still be spared to them a little longer. 
 These prayers were heard, and by slow degrees 
 she recovered, and was able to resume some- 
 thing of the daily routine she had hitherto 
 followed. But she had scarcely expected to 
 live, and during this illness had written a letter 
 to her children of which the following are 
 extracts : 
 
 MY BELOVED CHILDREN, I have already written to you 
 more than one letter, but my advanced age, and my increasing 
 infirmities induce me to make some corrections, and in order to 
 save you confusion, to state more clearly a few things that may 
 occur after my death. 
 
 I pray that the disposition of my will and personal effects 
 may be satisfactory to all concerned. I have already parted 
 with the greater number of my trinkets.* Louis de Champfleur's 
 note enclosed will explain the conditions on which I gave 
 advisedly the most valuable, my dear mother's diamond brooch, 
 to his good little wife Marie. The remainder I have bequeathed 
 as affection dictated, or according to promise. Such as are not 
 named I beg you to appropriate as to you may appear most just 
 or agreeable. 
 
 I desire to be interred in your father's grave, and that 
 everything connected with my funeral should be as plain and as 
 unostentatious as is consistent with respectability. 
 
 After some directions concerning various 
 arrangements she continues two days later : 
 
 * Among them was a thistle brooch which she gave for the 
 Scotch banner, deposited by the Scotch pilgrims at Paray-le- 
 Monial. She took great interest in the pilgrimage and the 
 banner, which was made at St. Margaret's.
 
 AT ST. MARGARET'S. 305 
 
 And now, my beloved children, having made notes of all I 
 can recollect, what more have I to say ? Much more indeed 
 than I can express. First of all, gratitude to our heavenly 
 Father for all His mercies, great and unceasing, for eighty- 
 seven years, wholly undeserved and unsolicited His mercies to 
 me especially in you, my most dear and good children. I am 
 aware, in your affection and charity, you have thought me 
 much better than I am. But I implore you, from these very 
 feelings, and still more for the love of our blessed Saviour, to 
 have Masses offered frequently for my poor soul after death and 
 never to cease praying for me. I pray Almighty God to bless 
 you, as He alone can, for all your patience and dutifulness 
 towards me. I beg your forgiveness for the many trials I have 
 caused you. And once more commending you to the love of the 
 Sacred Heart, to the prayers of His blessed Mother and all the 
 Saints, I remain beloved ones, in life and in death, 
 
 Ever your loving, grateful mother, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 But the end was not just yet. Full and 
 ripe as were the ears of corn standing waiting 
 for the Master's sickle, the eyes of men were 
 still to profit a little longer by so goodly a 
 sight. Happily, the saints of God remain in 
 exile, not only for their own profit and 
 advantage, but also for the help and consola- 
 tion of others. While Mrs. Leslie breathed 
 she continued to do good : by her words, 
 written and spoken, by her example, by her 
 very presence in the world. 
 
 For age is opportunity no less 
 Than youth itself, though in another dress ; 
 And as the evening twilight fades away, 
 The sky is filled with stars invisible by day. 
 
 \v
 
 306 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 WORK FINISHED. 
 
 When the Lord's work is done, and the toil and the labour 
 
 completed 
 
 He hath appointed to me, I will gather into the stillness 
 Of my own heart awhile, and wait for His guidance. 
 
 LONGFELLOW. 
 
 THE last good work in which Mrs. Leslie took 
 an active interest was the foundation, from St. 
 Margaret's, of a convent at Berwick-on-Tweed. 
 It promised to be a great means of good in that 
 place, and she entered into every detail concern- 
 ing the new house, and the welcome given to 
 the Sisters in the old Border town. Her gift 
 to the community was a complete equipment 
 of vestments for the sacristy. 
 
 During the summer, Mr. Falconer Atlee 
 died, and the following letter, written at the 
 beginning of his more serious illness, is a 
 testimony to his sister's wonderful mental 
 capacity on the verge of ninety : 
 
 ST. MARGARET'S CONVENT, 
 
 March 16, 1889. 
 
 MY VERY DEAR FANNY, Your report of your dear father 
 received this morning is not good, and I shall be anxious 
 for your next. As a young man he had always more of 
 muscular than physical strength ; and in old age, when the
 
 WORK FINISHED. 3< > 7 
 
 former fails, he will more sensibly feel the decline of the 
 latter. Of course we never cease to pray for him, and shall 
 do so more than ever. His early faith in simple Christi- 
 anity, and belief in our blessed Lord as a Saviour has never 
 been completely uprooted in him although from the time that 
 his clever friend, Theodore Dickins, poured into his mind his 
 anti-Christian sentiments (as naturally more suitable to the 
 immorality of his age), he has been constantly striving to con- 
 vince himself of their truth. The following sentence which I 
 recently met with in an article upon "Illusions," by Father 
 Michael Maher, S.J., depicts, and to me most clearly explains, the 
 real state of your poor father : 
 
 The wish to disbelieve, not the absence of rational evidence, 
 is in truth the source of all infidelity. That this motive is fre- 
 quently not clearly realized increases its force. 
 
 Tell me, dearest Fan, what you think of it. When your 
 father came to Rome in 1858, when dear Albert was dying, he 
 took a walk one day with Chattie, and having been much struck 
 with Albert's perfect happiness and sweet composure since his 
 conversion, he said to her : " I wonder if my opinions when I 
 come to die will stand in good stead to me ! " Here at least was 
 a doubt, and we must pray, with the help of St. Joseph, that now 
 divine grace may confirm it, showing their fallacy. I will shortly 
 write again 
 
 The summer wore on, and the strength of 
 the brother and sister declined perceptibly, so 
 that it was a question which one would 
 outlive the other. At the beginning of July 
 Mrs. Leslie wrote to him : 
 
 VERY DEAR OLD BOY, I must write a line, for with my whole 
 soul I am with you night and day. A month ago the doctor 
 found that my old heart had completely gone down. It has 
 rallied somewhat, but I feel that my time, like yours, must be 
 short. So I ask for you what I ask for myself, the grace that our
 
 308 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 last hour may be our best hour. Praying our heavenly Father to 
 guide, protect and bless you, 
 
 I remain, as ever, your loving, grateful sister, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 This was the last communication that 
 passed between them, and the object of so 
 many fervent prayers, of such devoted attach- 
 ment, died in peace on July 21. In the midst 
 of her sorrow, Mrs. Leslie had the immense 
 consolation of knowing that Mr. Atlee had 
 been reconciled to the Church. Nevertheless, 
 the death of her brother told upon her con- 
 siderably, as did that of Father George Porter, 
 Archbishop of Bombay. What remained to 
 her henceforth of life was patient waiting for 
 her own summons. It was as if she had been 
 left on earth to watch over and save her 
 brother's soul, and as if now her life's work was 
 done. Her nephew Falconer, Mr. Atlee's 
 eldest son, now remained the only member of 
 that family out of the Church. He had been 
 educated in infidelity, and had made an 
 unhappy marriage which had ended in separa- 
 tion. His wife afterwards became a Catholic, 
 and both his sons received a Catholic educa- 
 tion. When he was made a C.M.G., Mrs. 
 Leslie wrote to congratulate him, and ex- 
 pressed the wish that he might indeed be the 
 companion of St. Michael and St. George to 
 all eternity. Three days before his death, on
 
 WORK FINISHED. 309 
 
 the feast of St. Michael, he made his pro- 
 fession of faith, and died in the bosom of the 
 Church. * But Mrs. Leslie had passed away 
 before this happy consummation. Shortly 
 after her brother's death she wrote to her 
 nieces : 
 
 Just a line, beloved children, to cheer your loving hearts and 
 tell you I am better. My decline is so gentle, so rich in the 
 tender mercies of our heavenly Father, a life of Deo gratias could 
 not express it. Every want supplied, or rather anticipated, by 
 my devoted Mary, and a freedom from all acute suffering. Oh 
 help me to thank our good God and to respond more to His 
 goodness. 
 
 On November 5 of this year occurs the 
 last entry in the diary in her own hand- 
 writing. That of September 2 there are 
 very few after this chronicles the last but one of 
 many partings from her son : " My beloved one 
 left to-day. May God bless him ! " They met 
 once more and parted ; after that she was beyond 
 the sadness of farewells. On the 6th. her 
 daughter's pen recorded : " Fell down." 
 
 She had risen as usual at half-past 
 six, intending to go to Mass. Her faithful 
 
 I maid, Elsie, was laid up, and unable to be at 
 
 her post, and Mrs. Leslie tried herself to light 
 the gas in her room. Stretching higher than 
 
 * Yet another Atlee, a representative of the American branch of 
 the family, had been received into the Church, about the time of 
 Albert's conversion. This was Dr. Walter Franklin Atlee, who, 
 finding that he had connections at the British Embassy in Paris, 
 put himself in ccmmunication with them.
 
 3 io ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 she was well able to reach, she overbalanced, 
 and fell heavily on the floor. With a great 
 effort she managed to creep back to bed, and 
 when her daughter arrived half-an-hour later 
 it was clear that something unusual had hap- 
 pened. All the morning she lay quietly, 
 not appearing to suffer, but about noon she 
 gave a great cry and said, " My dear, my 
 back is gone." A telegram summoned the 
 doctor, who pronounced that there was con- 
 cussion of the spine, and great loss of nerve 
 power. By degrees she recovered the use of 
 her limbs, but was never again able to walk 
 or even stand alone. The utter dependence 
 on others, after such complete independence, 
 was perhaps the greatest trial of the re- 
 mainder of her life ; but she was always 
 resigned and unselfish, while her talk 
 was as full of point and piquancy as ever. 
 She interested herself at times in arranging 
 the final disposition of various treasures. 
 Hearing that Madame Leslie needed a paint- 
 box, she sent her her own one that had 
 belonged to her master, the celebrated 
 Samuel Prout, and which she had used at 
 twelve years old in perfectly good condition, 
 still testifying to the habits of order and neat- 
 ness which she had always cultivated. 
 
 Some little repugnance was expressed 
 when it was suggested that her bed should be
 
 WORK FINISHED. 3I , 
 
 moved into her sitting-room as being more 
 airy and convenient ; but she soon made up 
 her mind to this sacrifice also, and wrote 
 afterwards : 
 
 I have, in accordance with all your wishes, turned my pretty 
 sitting-room more completely into a bedroom ; but I do not like 
 it, and must try heartily to say with St. Philip Neri : 
 
 Vi ringrazio, o mio Dio, 
 
 Che non vanno le cose a modo mio. 
 
 Pray, dear child, that I may become more indifferent to all 
 earthly things and little inconveniences, always remaining more 
 closely united to you in the Heart of our dear Lord. 
 
 She was always cheerful, however much 
 inconvenienced, and never allowed a murmur 
 to escape her lips. She would scarcely ever 
 permit any one to express sympathy with her 
 in her sufferings, which were sometimes now 
 very great. One day a friend found her 
 suffering violently from neuralgia, and said, 
 " How sorry I am that you have that dreadful 
 pain ! " But Mrs. Leslie answered brightly, 
 
 " My dear, it is a very good pain for me 
 to have." 
 
 A petition having been sent to Rome that 
 she might receive Holy Communion without 
 fasting from midnight onwards, it was ob- 
 jected that such privileges were only granted 
 to religious. The answer by Father Cardella 
 was prompt : " But this lady for whom the 
 privilege is asked is more than a religious" 
 and the petition was granted.
 
 3 i2 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Her humility was most touching, and 
 showed itself in gratitude for the least service 
 rendered to her, for every token of affection 
 spoken or written. Once, in answer to some 
 remark about God having taken away all her 
 children, she said : " God took all my 
 children away from me, and called them into 
 religion because He knew that I could not 
 make them good enough." In the course of 
 1891 she wrote to her son : 
 
 Pray much for me, my beloved one. My time here must be 
 short, and as yet I have scarcely begun. Helpless and useless, I 
 think of God's immense goodness, and of that beautiful line : 
 "They also serve who only stand and wait." God Almighty 
 bless you. With Mary's love, 
 
 More than ever your grateful, loving mother, 
 
 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 The year 1892 ushered in a time of 
 general affliction throughout the country, 
 owing to an outbreak of influenza, which made 
 such havoc in Edinburgh that it was com- 
 monly spoken of as "the plague." St. 
 Margaret's was severely tried. One lay Sister 
 died, and nearly the whole community were 
 prostrate. The faithful Elsie was one of the 
 sufferers, and Mrs. Leslie was attacked with 
 the same fell disease, complicated by bron- 
 chitis. A trained nurse was henceforth in- 
 dispensable; and on February 17 she received 
 Holy Viaticum and Extreme Unction. Father
 
 WORK FINISHED. 3I3 
 
 Leslie came on the 22nd, and remained till 
 March 3. It was thought that the end was 
 near. He wrote to his youngest sister, then 
 in Ireland : 
 
 When I arrived her voice and embrace were the same as ever. 
 Her piety is very touching. When I was going to bring her Holy 
 Viaticum yesterday evening, she asked like a child if it were 
 preparation enough to say a prayer of St. Francis of Sales and 
 the hymn of St. Francis Xavier " Deus ego amo Te." In the 
 morning she had been quiet for some time she called me to 
 say that she prayed for the Scropes every day. They had been so 
 kind (in sending her grapes and flowers). Lord Ralph and Lady 
 Anne were here yesterday. I think you know that Lady Alice 
 had a very blessed end. 
 
 The Archbishop of Edinburgh called con- 
 stantly to see all the many invalids at St. 
 Margaret's, and said one day to Sister Mary 
 Sales, " Your poor mother is very low to-day. 
 I do not think she can last long." He died first, 
 carried off in ten days by the terrible scourge 
 then raging, to the grief of the whole Church 
 of Scotland. 
 
 To the surprise of all Mrs. Leslie still 
 lingered, but every day marked a decline. On 
 March 22 she received Holy Communion for 
 the last time ; constant distressing sickness 
 prevented her doing so afterwards. Still her 
 mind retained much of its clearness. On 
 April i, she reminded her daughter that the 
 Little Sisters of the Poor would call for their 
 usual monthly alms ; and she was anxious that 
 
 w*
 
 314 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 Father Whyte should say Mass on the i3th 
 for the repose of the soul of her daughter 
 Eleanor. Every conscious moment was spent 
 in prayer ; but there were long hours of stupor 
 during the day, and the nights were restless. 
 Those who have watched by the deathbed of 
 a beloved mother will understand something 
 of the anguish suffered by Mrs. Leslie's children 
 at this time. Renunciation does not render 
 hearts insensible to pain, but rather in raising 
 them above earthly issues gives them a capacity 
 for suffering unknown to weaklings. And Mrs. 
 Leslie had been no ordinary mother. If her 
 love for her children had been " excessive," it 
 was at the same time generous and pure, 
 untainted by selfishness, unspoilt by weakness, 
 guiltless of all ambition, save the noble ambition 
 of presenting them spotless before the throne 
 of God. Such affection, though rare, calls forth 
 the like in the objects of its tenderness, and 
 is perhaps the only love that meets its full 
 requital on earth. 
 
 Summoned by telegram, Father Leslie 
 arrived on the morning of April 6. It had 
 been scarcely expected that his mother would 
 survive the night. Dr. Horsley had shared 
 the vigil with Mother Mary Sales, and the 
 devoted Elsie, till he should come, and once 
 she whispered, "God bless all my children," 
 naming them each by their name. But when
 
 WORK FINISHED. 3 ! 5 
 
 her son entered the room, she was unconscious, 
 and for the first time his beloved presence was 
 unheeded. Once during the day, a glimmer of 
 consciousness returned; she recognized him 
 and called him by his name. Then came the 
 Pope's Blessing, and afterwards, on April 8, feast 
 of the Seven Dolours, the earthly end. With the 
 dawn the change came. After a time of agita- 
 tion her breathing became calm, then fainter 
 and fainter. Father Leslie gave frequent 
 blessings and absolutions, and at last the 
 beautiful soul was with God. 
 
 The remains were clothed in a brown habit, 
 with the well-worn beads in the white, once 
 so capable hands, now folded and at rest for 
 evermore. Friends brought flowers which she 
 had loved so well; and the Little Sisters of the 
 Poor came with their aged women to pray for 
 their benefactress. When the coffin was closed, 
 it was taken to the chapel and placed on 
 a catafalque in the nuns' choir, and the office 
 for the dead was recited. 
 
 Father Leslie said the Mass of requiem on 
 the 1 2th, and officiated at the funeral service, 
 which took place at 3 o'clock the same day, 
 Father Whyte saying a few touching and 
 appropriate words. A number of old men 
 under the care of the Little Sisters of the Poor 
 attended the funeral, as did also a deputation 
 of the Brotherhood of St. Vincent of Paul.
 
 316 ELEANOR LESLIE. 
 
 At the close of the service, the coffin, preceded 
 by the clergy, and followed by the Sisters and 
 a large number of Mrs. Leslie's friends, was 
 carried to the convent gate, and thence to the 
 Grange Cemetery, where in accordance with 
 her own wish she was interred in her husband's 
 grave. 
 
 A recumbent cross of grey granite now 
 marks the spot, and bears the inscription : 
 
 ARCHIBALD LESLIE, LAST OF BALNAGEITH, 
 
 DIED 26TH FEBRUARY, 1851. 
 ELEANOR FALCONER ATLEE, WIDOW OF ARCHIBALD 
 
 LESLIE, 
 
 DIED STH APRIL, 1892. 
 JESUS MERCY ! MARY HELP ! 
 
 Innumerable were the letters and tokens of 
 sympathy sent by friends, testifying in a re- 
 markable way to the influence, widespread and 
 powerful, of Mrs. Leslie's wonderful personality. 
 Of these two extracts from letters may be 
 taken as characteristic of the whole. Dr. 
 Horsley wrote : 
 
 I am so glad it happened that I was able to spend a little 
 time at your dear mother's side during her last days; and the 
 memory of her gentle pious life will be to me ever a holy and 
 a dear one. So, too, the memory of her affection for me. My 
 own regard for your mother was no weak love. To know her was a 
 privilege beyond the estimating ; to remember her is rendered by 
 love and affection a thing so natural, that it must become one of 
 the dearest duties of my daily life.
 
 WOKK FINISHED. 3 , 7 
 
 The Dowager Duchess of Buccleuch could 
 also speak for others : 
 
 I always look upon her as our mother, who helped to bring us 
 into the true Church. We are all her children good Father 
 Robertson, his aunt and children, dear Lady Lothian and her 
 children, myself, and I do not know how many others. Pray 
 accept and offer your good brother my most sincere and deep 
 sympathy. Though you have enjoyed her so many years on 
 earth, it does not lessen the pain of separation. 
 
 Perhaps the sympathy and understanding 
 of what had befallen were no less eloquent 
 in some who had never known Mrs. Leslie per- 
 sonally, or who had never even seen her. On 
 the day after her death Elsie went out to do some 
 necessary shopping. She returned much later 
 than was expected, and when asked what had 
 kept her, she said that she could not get along, 
 for in every shop people wanted to know all 
 about Mrs. Leslie. It was strange that so 
 much interest should be felt among Pro- 
 testants in the death of a Catholic lady 
 whose life for many years had been so com- 
 pletely hidden, and whose charities had been 
 mainly confined to those of her own 
 religion. In some mysterious way the people 
 about were conscious that a very holy woman 
 had died 
 
 THE END. 
 
 ART AND BOOK COMPANY, PRINTERS, LONDON AND LEAMINGTON.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Abadie, Monsieur d', 147 
 
 Acton, Lady, 147 
 
 Addison, The Rev. Berkeley, 122 
 
 Aitken, The Rev. Robert, makes 
 the acquaintance of the Leslies, 
 his mental power and personal 
 appearance, 56 ; his doctrine of 
 conversion, converts Mrs. Les- 
 lie, 57 ; his past history, 58 ; 
 services at Zion Chapel, 59 ; 
 his preaching and manner of 
 praying, 61 ; Mrs. Leslie per- 
 suades him to return to the 
 Church of England, 62 ; ap- 
 pointed to a parish at Leeds, 
 63 ; his eloquence, 65 ; second 
 marriage and subsequent poverty 
 69 ; methods after his return to 
 the Church of England, 70 ; his 
 unworldliness, 73 ; the extent of 
 his influence on Mrs. Leslie, 85 ; 
 Mr. Robertson's appreciation of 
 him, 86 ; letter to Mrs. Leslie on 
 her becoming a Catholic, 103 ; is 
 recommended for the church at 
 Coatbridge, 154; his disapproval 
 of Mrs. Gerard's investigation 
 of Catholic claims, 155 
 
 Alcock, Miss Jane, 2, note 
 
 Alexander The Rev. Mr., 106, 109 
 
 Archer, The Rev. Dr., 23 
 
 Atlee, Albert Falconer, 144, 145, 
 
 211, 221, 223 
 
 Atlee, Miss Eleanor Falconer, 
 afterwards Mrs. Leslie. (see 
 Leslie) 
 
 Atlee, Mrs. Falconer, 223, 225, 229, 
 262, 279 
 
 Atlee, Mr. Falconer, secretary to 
 Lord Cowley, 144, 230, 235, 308 
 
 Atlee, Mr. John Falconer, senior, 
 Mrs. Leslie's father, i ; is thrown 
 early in life on his own resources, 
 2 : is one of a deputation to Pitt 
 on behalf of distillers, builds his 
 
 distillery, 3 ; his love of Ford- 
 hook, 4 ; his marriage, 5 ; talent 
 for music, 7 ; shrewdness in 
 managing his family, 14 ; his 
 generosity, 15 ; gives up the 
 distiller)' and retires to Brighton, 
 75 ; his death, 143 
 
 Atlee, Mr. John Falconer, junior, 
 eldest son of the above, 1 1 ; his 
 aptitude for getting into boyish 
 scrapes, early religious feelings, 
 goes to Winchester, his friends 
 there, the barring out, 12 ; a 
 young dandy, 13 ; introduces 
 boating at Cambridge, instance 
 of his generosity, 15 ; thrashes 
 a man who has duped him, 
 makes the "grand tour" with 
 an infidel tutor, 16 ; falls into 
 infidelity, goes into business 
 though he has no taste for it. 
 introduces a steam engine into 
 his father's distillery, his marri- 
 age, 17; settles in Paris, 18 ; 
 takes a place in Scotland, 83 ; 
 befriends his sister against the 
 disapproval of her family, his 
 liberality in religious questions, 
 143 ; goes to Rome, 217 ; his 
 scepticism wavers, 218 ; his 
 embargo on the reception of his 
 wife and daughters into the 
 Church, 229 ; his satisfaction at 
 the event, 230, 232 ; sudden 
 gleam of faith, and relapse into 
 infidelity, 235 ; submission to 
 the Church, and relapse, 259 ; 
 slight paralytic stroke, 285 ; his 
 reconciliation to the Church, 
 and death, 308 
 
 Atlee, Dr. Walter Franklin, 309, 
 note 
 
 Atlee, Mr. William, of Ford- 
 hook, 2, note 
 I Atlee, The Misses Falconer, 229,
 
 320 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 232, 262 ; letters to, 289, 306, 
 
 309 
 Balnageith, The Laird of (see 
 
 Leslie) 
 Barat, The Venerable Mere, 237, 
 
 249 
 
 Beaconsfield, Lord, 12 
 Becket, The Messrs., 34, 35, 38 
 Belcher, Admiral, 195 
 Berriedale, Viscount, 81 
 Besson, Le Rev. Pere, 206 
 Bodenham, Madame de, 146 
 Bolton, Mrs., 147 
 Borgogelli, Contessa, 199, 204, 220 
 Borgogelli, Caterina, 200, 204 
 Bprgogelli, Polissena, 200, 202, 
 
 204, 220 
 Bowen, Mr. George, of Coton 
 
 Hall, 55 
 Bridges, 'Sir George, 74, 85, 91, 
 
 93. 135 
 
 Bridges, The Talbot . . . family, 5 
 
 Brown, Dr., Bishop of Shrews- 
 bury, 217 
 
 Buccleuch, Dowager Duchess of, 
 167, 169, 170, 317 
 
 Buchanan. Mr. and Lady Janet, 
 46, 49, 89 
 
 Buckley, The Rev. Jeremiah, 157 
 
 Burgon, Dean, 115, 116 
 
 Burns, Mr., 42, 43, 44 
 
 Burton, Mrs. Hill, 129 
 
 Caithness, Earl of, 19 
 
 Caithness, Dowager Countess of, 
 19, 27, 79, 80, 88, 97. 129 
 
 Caithness, Countess of, " Lady 
 Fanny," 81, 94, 98 
 
 Campbell, Lord of Clyde, 152 
 
 Campbell, Mr., 153 
 
 Cardella, The Rev. Padre, 216, 
 218, 222, 311 
 
 Castelbajac, Mademoiselle de, 146 
 
 Castelbajac, Monsieur de, 147 
 
 Caswall, Mr. and Mrs., 162-165 
 
 Champfleur, Madame de, 261 
 
 Clapperton, The Rev. Mr., 87, 94 
 
 Clarke, The Rev. Father, 137, 138 
 
 Clifford, Lord, 206 
 
 Cobb, The Rev. Father, Pro- 
 vincial, S.J., 135, 136 
 
 Coleridge, The Rev. H. J., 132, 
 178, 206, 298 
 
 Corry, The Rev. Father, 254 
 
 Cowley, Earl, 12, 13 
 
 Culbertson, Mr. and Mrs., 37, 38 
 
 39 
 Culduthil, Ihe Laird of, 33 
 
 Cullen, Cardinal, 184 
 Gumming, Miss, of Logic, 45 
 Gumming, Sir William Gordon, 
 
 19, 51, 52, 83 
 Cunningham, Miss, 248 
 Darwin, Charles, 289 
 Davidson, Duncan, Laird of 
 
 Tulloch, and Mrs. Davidson, 
 
 33.34 
 Dean, Mr. Fellow of All Souls', 
 
 Oxford, 1 1 8, 119 
 Demaklis, Liberata Contessa, 
 
 177. *83 
 
 Denistoun, Mrs., 45 
 Douglas, Lord Archibald, 264, 291 
 Douglas, Lady Gertrude, 264 
 Douglas, Lord James, 264 
 Dowson, Mrs., 103, 225, 283 
 Duffus, Lord, 19 
 Dunbar, Major, 27. note 
 Eden, The Rev. Mr., Fellow of 
 
 Oriel College, Oxford^ 117 
 Ferron, Madame de, 190 
 Fessard, Le Rev. Pere, 223 
 Ffoulkes, Mr., of Jesus College, 
 
 Oxford, 118 
 
 Fitzgerald, Lady, 206, 227 
 Fraser, Captain, 33 
 Fullerton, Lady Georgiana, 298 
 Gargarin. Princess, 209 
 Gerard, Colonel, 152, 160 
 Gerard, Mrs., 152, 158, 162 
 Gerard, The Very Rev. John, S.J., 
 
 account of the conversion of his 
 
 family, 153-158 
 Gillis, Dr., Vicar Apostolic, 95, 
 
 96, no, in, 112, 114, 134, 138 
 Gladstone, Miss, 136, 206 
 Gleghorn, Miss. 39 
 Goesbriant, Mgr. de, 184 
 Gordon, Mr., 40, 41, 42, 44 
 Gordon, The Rev. John Joseph, 
 
 71, 72, 73, 86, 104 
 Gordon, Mr. Fraser, Writer to the 
 
 Signet, 142, 265 
 Gordon, Mr. Michael, son of the 
 
 above, 265, 266 
 Gordon, Colonel, 266 
 Gordon, Major, 266
 
 INDEX. 
 
 321 
 
 Grant, Captain McDowell, of 
 
 Arndilly, 69 
 Grant, Dr. Bishop of Southwark, 
 
 222 
 
 Guerry, 1'Abbe, 149 
 
 Hardynge, Lady, 1 1 
 
 Harris, The Rev. Mr., 66, 74, 86, 
 
 9*. 93. 135 
 Henderson, Miss, 92 
 Hermann, Rev. Pere, 147 
 Herries, Lady, 293 
 Honyman, Mr. George, 54, 74, 79 
 Honyman, Colonel Sir Ord, 53, 54, 
 
 74, 94, 113, 142 
 Hook, Dr., 63 154, 157 
 Horsley, Dr., 292, 299, 314, 316 
 Howard, Cardinal, 178, 183 
 Hughes, Dr., Archbishop of New 
 
 York, 184, 1 86 
 Hutchinson, Mrs., 167 
 Huxley, Prof., 290 
 Innes, Mr. Cosmo, 128 
 Tones, Mrs. Henshaw, 113 
 Kenyons, The, 284 
 Kerr, Lady Alice, afterwards 
 
 Gaisford, 173, 245, 265, 271, 274, 
 
 303.313 
 
 Kerr, Lady Amabel, 284 
 Kerr, Lady Anne, 285, 303, 313 
 Kerr, Lady Cecil, 173, 226, 243, 
 
 249, 250, 271 
 
 Kerr, Lady Henry, 248, 253, 255, 295 
 Kerr, Lord Henry, 248, 253, 254, 
 
 255, 256, 284, 291 
 Kerr, Lord Ralph, 284,285,303,313 
 Kerr, Lord Walter, 1 72 
 Kerr, Mother Henrietta, 295 
 Kersabiec de, family of, 263 
 Laing Mr., of Jedburgh, 170 
 Lauerbach, Madame, afterwards 
 Madame de CoStlogon, 231, 270, 
 300 
 
 Lennox, Lord Arthur Gordon, 7 
 Leslie, Mr. Archibald, aspires to 
 Miss Falconer Atlee's hand, 18 ; 
 his family and education, 19 ; 
 tour in France, 20 ; character, 
 personal appearance, marriage, 
 21 ; settles in London, 23 ; reli- 
 giousviews, his graceful manner, 
 24 ; hospitality, political opin- 
 ions, 25 ; unsuited to business, 
 financial difficulties, honourable 
 
 principles, his failing health, 26 ; 
 visit to Scotland, '27, 46; his 
 physical suffering on the jour- 
 ney, 47, 48; appreciation of Mr. 
 Aitken, 56 ; disgust at the sen- 
 sational services at Zion Chapel, 
 
 | 59 ; failure in business, 76 ; 
 increased illness, 77 ; removes 
 with his family to Scotland, 78 ; 
 his attitude on his wife's conver- 
 sion to Catholicism, 94, 101 ; 
 his letter to her about their 
 children, 102 ; perplexity with 
 regard to their convictions, 104 ; 
 assists at an interview between 
 them and Mr. Suther, 106 ; 
 withdraws his opposition to their 
 becoming Catholics, 111; ex- 
 tracts from his diary, 123 ; his 
 conversion, 124 ; his last illness 
 and death, 126 
 
 Leslie, Charlotte, afterwards Ged- 
 des, sister of the above, 30 ; 
 her daughter became a Catholic. 
 See page 301, note 
 
 Leslie, Charlotte, Mrs. Leslie's 
 youngest daughter, 64, 93, 96, 
 97, 104 ; reception into the 
 Church, 112, 126, 132, 142, 145, 
 183, 198, 200, 209, 211, 218, 220, 
 223, 225, 228, 232, 237, 240 ; 
 goes to the Noviceship at Con- 
 flans, 241, 243, 247, 249, 265, 
 270, 279, 282, 294, 297, 310, 313 
 
 Leslie, Eleanor, afterwards Mrs. 
 Fraser Gordon, Mrs. Leslie's 
 eldest daughter, 50, 51, 87, 88, 
 in, I2i, 122; is receivt d into 
 the Church, 123, 130; her marri- 
 age, 142 ; her death, 265 
 
 Leslie, Eleanor, eldest daughter 
 of Mr. John Falconer Atlee, i ; 
 her talent for music inherited, 
 7 ; date of her birth, and some 
 account of her childhood, 9 ; 
 her education, has a bad fever, 
 her sisters, 10 ; description of 
 her person, friends, n; her 
 offers of marriage, 18 ; is mar- 
 ried to Mr. Archibald Leslie, 
 21 ; manner of life in London, 
 23 ; belongs to the Church of 
 England, 24 ; her eldest child
 
 322 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 born, 25 ; Journal in Scotland, I 
 26-46 ; letter to her husband 
 before the birth of her second 
 child, 49 ; two other children 
 born, removal to Wandsworth, 
 goes with her family to Scot- 
 land, 51 ; their return to 
 Wandsworth, devotion to her 
 husband, 52 ; her business ca- 
 pacity, 53 ; friendship with Sir 
 Ord Honyman, 54 ; visit to 
 Shropshire, 55 ; makes the ac- 
 quaintance of Mr. Aitken, 56 ; 
 her " conversion," 57 ; the ex- 
 tent of Mr. Aitken's religious 
 influence over her, and her ad- 
 vice to him, 62 ; Calvinistic 
 narrowness, 63 ; High Church 
 tendencies, 67 ; her love of 
 order and authority, 69 ; recog- 
 nizes the necessity of sacra- 
 mental grace, 73 ; goes to 
 Brighton with her daughters, 
 76; good sense and high 
 principle, 77 ; an excellent 
 " man of business," 78; winds 
 up her husband's affairs and re- 
 moves with him and their chil- 
 dren to Scotland, 79 ; her ad- 
 vanced religious opinions, 85 ; 
 nurses one of her daughters 
 through an illness, 89 ; praying 
 for the dead, 90 ; the last step, 
 93 ; reception into the Church, 
 95 ; sensitiveness to " Lady 
 Fanny's" abuse, 98; rebukes 
 Miss Maclaren, 101 ; justifies 
 the step she has taken, 109; 
 letter to Bishop Gillis, 112; 
 confirmation, 1 13 ; helps her 
 son in his study of Catholicism, 
 115 ; one of the happiest days 
 of her life, 121; her account of 
 her husband's conversion, 124; 
 her spirit of sacrifice and apti- 
 tude for suffering, her " exces- 
 sive " love of her children, 132 ; 
 her grief in the loss of her son, 
 136 ; makes a retreat at Stony- 
 hurst, 137 ; her progress in the 
 devout life, 140 ; a further sacri- 
 fice, 142 ; meets her brothers and 
 sisters at her father's deathbed, 
 
 143 ; visits her brother in Paris, 
 
 144 ; spends a winter at Pau, 
 146; her friends in Scotland, 
 150-172 ; first visit to Rome, 
 174-190; nurses Miss Taafe 
 through an attack of measles. 
 1 80 ; a flood at Avignon, 191 ; 
 visits relations in England 
 and Scotland, and returns to 
 Rome, 195 ; her defence of Dr. 
 Newman at Florence, 196; goes 
 to Spoleto, 199-205 ; to Al- 
 bano, 205 ; her intimacy with 
 Father Wynne and Father Cole- 
 ridge, Miss Gladstone claims 
 her good offices as nurse, 206 ; 
 spends a summer at Castel 
 Gandolfo, 208 ; nurses Mr. 
 Palmer through a serious ill- 
 ness, 210; undertakes the care 
 of her nephew Albert, 211 ; 
 letter to him, 213 ; final de- 
 parture from Rome, 222 ; meets 
 her sister Emily at Dijon, pro- 
 ceeds to Paris and Ryde, 225 ; 
 passes the summer in Scotland 
 and visits Mr. and Mrs. Palmer 
 at Mexbury, 227 ; spends the 
 winter at Tours, 232 ; meets 
 Madame de Pambour at La 
 Roche Posay, 234 ; desires to 
 see her son, now a priest, 236 ; 
 is prevented from going to 
 England, 237 ; stays with the 
 Wilberforces at St. Germain- 
 en-Laye, 239; takes her young- 
 est daughter to the Noviceship 
 at Conflans, 241 ; her desola- 
 tion, 244 ; letters on the subject 
 of a daughter's vocation, 245 ; 
 returns to England, and visits 
 her son at St. Beuno's, 250 ; 
 passes some time in Scotland, 
 252 ; is instrumental in the con- 
 version of a somewhat remark- 
 able man, 253 ; Baroness von 
 Hugel's description of her at 
 this time, 254 ; at Conflans, 
 religious discussions with her 
 brother, 262 ; is summoned to 
 Glasgow, where her son is 
 ill of typus fever, 266 ; severe 
 accident at Nantes, 269 ; spends
 
 INDEX, 
 
 the summer at Marmoutier, 270 ; 
 leaves France on account of the 
 war, 274 ; settles at St. Mar- 
 garet's Convent, 275 ; her regu- 
 lar way of life, 276 ; visits her 
 son at Liverpool, and her daugh- 
 ter at Mount Anville, annual 
 retreat, 278 ; goes to Roehamp- 
 and Ryde, 279 ; nurses her son 
 through an illness, 280 ; declin- 
 ing health, retreat at Wands- 
 worth, visits her brother at 
 Brighton, 282 ; after his illness 
 goes to him at Dieppe, retreat 
 at Roehampton, 286 ; some of 
 the objects of her charity, 287 ; 
 activity in spite of advancing 
 years ; letter to Miss Fal- 
 coner Atlee, 289 ; to her daugh- 
 ter Charlotte, receives the last 
 Sacraments, 294 ; letter to Char- 
 lotte, 297 ; a bad fali, visit from 
 Fr. Coleridge, 298; her portraits, 
 celebration of the 5Oth anniver- 
 sary of St. Margaret's, 299 ; 
 letter to Madame Leslie, 300 ; 
 to all her children, 304 ; inter- 
 ested in foundation at Berwick, 
 letter to Miss Falconer At- 
 lee, 306 ; to her brother, 307 ; 
 to her nieces, last entries in her 
 diary, 309; accident while dress- 
 ing ; last dispositions, 310; her 
 cheerfulness in bearing pain, 
 311 ; her humility, letter to her 
 son ; attacked by influenza, she 
 receives extreme unction, Fr. 
 Leslie summoned, 312 ; last 
 charities, 313 ; Fr. Leslie again 
 sent for, her death, 314 ; buried 
 beside her husband, 316 
 
 Leslie, Ellen, Mr. Archibald Les- 
 lie's sister, 29 
 
 Leslie, the Rev. Eric William, 54, 
 74 ; goes to Woolwich, 76 ; is 
 placed with a surveyor at Oxford, 
 visits his uncle in Scotland, 83 ; 
 reads Catholic books, but ac- 
 cepts the branch theory, 116 ; 
 confession at Oxford, 117 ; 
 returns to Scotland and be- 
 comes a Catholic, 119 ; reli- 
 gious vocation, 133 ; retreat at| 
 
 H odder, 135 ; ordination, 236 ; 
 at Glasgow, 252 ; is sent occa- 
 sionally to recruit at Carstairs 
 and Huntlyburn, is attacked 
 with typhus fever, 266 ; frequent 
 opportunities of seeing Mrs. 
 Leslie, 278 ills ill at Liverpool 
 and is nursed by her, 281 ; apos- 
 tolic work, 288 ; is summoned 
 to his mother's death-bed and 
 assists at her last agony, 314 ; 
 says the Mass of requiem. 315 
 
 Leslie, Mary, Mr. Archibald Les- 
 lie's sister, 28, 30, 34 
 
 Leslie, Mary, afterwards Mother 
 Mary Sales, 93, 96, 97, 104 ; re- 
 ception into the Church, 112 
 enters religion, 142, 167, 279, 
 295, 296, 303, 309, 310, 313, 314 
 
 Leslie, the Rev. William, Laird of 
 Balnageith, 19, 27, 28, 29,30, 75 
 
 Leslie, the Rev. Father, S.J., of 
 Fetternear, founder of the Ox- 
 ford mission, 116 
 
 Lothian, Marquis of, 279, 284 
 
 Lothian Cecil, Marchioness of, 87, 
 168, 170, 178, 243, 264, 271, 281 
 
 Lyte, Maxwell, Mrs., 148 
 
 Lythgoe, The Very Rev. ex-Pro- 
 vincial S.J., 136 
 
 Macdonell, Mr., 44 
 
 Macdonell, Colonel and Mrs., 166 
 
 Maclaren, Major, 99 
 
 Maclaren, Miss, 99, 101 
 
 Maclean of Col and Mrs. Mac- 
 lean, 45 
 
 Mallac, Madame Louise, 260 
 
 Manning, Mr. and Mrs. Charles, 
 226 
 
 Marchi, The Rev. Padre, 182 
 
 Marriot, Charles, 116 
 
 Maxwell, Mrs., Mrs. Leslie's 
 eldest sister, 22, 87, 102, 22=;, 
 283 
 
 Maxwell, Miss, daughter of the 
 above, 279 
 
 McGregor, Lady Charlotte, 80, 84 
 
 McNabb, The Rev. Mr., 157 
 
 Menschikoff, Prince, 191, 193 
 
 Missy, Le General de, 10 
 
 Monaghan, The Rev. James, 123 
 
 Monteith, Mr., of Carstairs, 122, 
 150, 156, i?o. 2 53
 
 324 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Morris, The Rev. John, 280, 286 
 Newman, Cardinal, 72, 196, 299 
 Newsham, The Rev. Mr., priest 
 
 on the Oxford mission, 116, 119 
 Nutt, The Misses, 65, 135 
 Oakley, Canon, 91 
 O'Donnell, The Rev. Mr., 124, 125, 
 
 126, 137, 277, 291 
 Olivamt, Le Rev. Pere, 238, 277 
 O'Rourke, the Rev. Father 
 
 Eugene, 155 
 Palmer, Mrs., afterwards Mrs. 
 
 Falconer Atlee, Mrs. Leslie's 
 
 mother, 5, 6, 75 
 Palmer, The Rev. Mr. and Mrs., 
 
 227 
 Palmer, Mr. William, 178, 179, 
 
 181-183, 206, 208-211, 212, 
 
 224, 227, 250, 267, 280, 285 
 Pambour, Comtesse de, Mrs. 
 
 Leslie's sister, 76, 102, 132, 
 
 134, 143, 146, 234, 270 
 Parma, Duchess of, 166 
 Passaglia, Father, 179 
 Patterson, Dr., Bishop of Em- 
 
 maus, 178, 267 
 Perreur, Madame, 299, note 
 Peter, Mrs., 184-189 
 Peters, Mr., 40-44 
 Phillips, Mr. Ambrose Lisle, 165 
 Plowden, Miss, 196 
 Pitt, William, Prime Minister, 3 
 Folding, Dr., Archbishop of Mel- 
 bourne, 184 
 Ponlevoy, The Rev. Pere de, 223, 
 
 230 
 
 Pope Pius IX., 184, 187, 197 
 Porter, The Most Rev. George, 
 
 Archbishop of Bombay, 285, 
 
 308 
 
 Price, Mr., 45 
 Quakers, 7 
 
 Queensberry, Marchioness of, 262 
 Rew, The Rev. Mr., of St. John's 
 
 College, Oxford, 117. 118 
 Robertson, The Rev. John Cun- 
 
 ningham, 84, 86, 92, in, 168,. 
 248, 280 
 
 Roskell, Miss, 196 
 
 Rossi, Cavaliere, 182 
 
 Rubillon, Rev. Pere, 234 
 
 Riicker, Mr. Sigismund, 283 
 
 Schrceter, Baron, 210 
 
 Scott, Mr. Hope, 152, 171, 280 
 
 Scott, Dr., Vicar apostolic, 171 
 
 Scropes, The, 313 
 
 Shain, Dr , Archbishop of Edin- 
 burgh, 113, note 
 
 Sinclair, Colonel the Hon. James 
 *8. 27, 33, 34, 81, 84, 87, 98 
 
 Sinclair, Miss, 32 
 
 Sinclair, Miss Catherine, the au- 
 thoress, 81, 85 
 
 Sinclair, Miss Willy, 130 
 
 Small, Dr. 210 
 
 Smith, Dr., Archbishop of Edin- 
 burgh, 311 
 
 Strathallan, Lord, 36 
 
 Suther, The Rev. Mr., afterwards 
 Bishop of Aberdeen, 97, 106, 107 
 
 Taafe, Miss F., 178, 180 
 
 Taafe, Miss M., 199 
 
 Talbot.Mgr.G., 178,183, 197,284.303 
 
 Terrot, Bishop, 104, 106 
 
 Tickell, Mr., 91 
 
 Tomkinson, Mr., 5 
 
 Tramo, Dr., 218 
 
 Tritton, Miss, 100 
 
 Tritton, Mr. William, 45 
 
 Turner, the artist, 5 
 
 Vaughan, Dr., Archbishop of 
 Sydney, 184 
 
 Walsh, Dr., Bishop of Halifax, 184 
 
 Waterton, The Rev. Father, 138 
 
 White, The Rev. Mr., 153, 154 
 
 Whyte, the Rev. Father, 314 
 
 Wilberforce, Mr., 239 
 
 Wood, Mrs., the authoress, 226 
 
 Wood, Captain, son of the above 
 226 
 
 Wynne, The Rev. W., 178, 179, 
 183, 206, 283
 
 A 000093038