^ < <<. <-<<3[ 7 ^ c V P V 2- C *- Pit- JEST BOOK. That I was disdainful, and that I bad my good wit out of The Hundred Merry Tales ; Well, this was Signor Benedick that said so. Much Ado About Nothing. Act 2. Sc. 1. CHISWICK: FROM THE PRESS OF C. WHITTINGHAM. MDCCCXIV. TO F - D , ESQ. THIS LITTLE VOLUME IS INSCRIBED. A TRIFLING BUT GRATEFUL TRIBUTE OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT, FOR THE VALUABLE FRIENDSHIP WITH WHICH HE HAS HONOURED THE EDITOR. 2056589 TO THE READER. J- HE name of SHAKSPEARE is so sacred that I fear the licence I have used in calling this his Jest Book, may deserve some reprehen- sion. Yet any thing that tends to the elucida- tion of his page, or any book which he may be presumed to have read, has been and is still sought with avidity: how much more then should a volume he cites be considered deser- ving our attention. That this little book is the one from which Benedick had accused Beatrice of stealing all her "good wit" can, I think, be established satisfactorily; but the extraordi- nary rarity of it, must account for the circum- stance of its having escaped the diligence of the editors of our great Dramatic Bard. Mii &o tfjc Scalier, I cannot agree with the opinions of Mr. Steevens and Mr. Reed, that Shakspeare by The Hundred Merry Tales meant either the Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles*, or the Decameron of Boccaccio ; and those who are best acquainted with these two popular works, will be most ready to admit that they are not sources from whence the sprightly Beatrice could have derived her sarcastic quips and lively repartees, as they con- sist principally in amorous stories, many of them, in the latter, terminating tragically ; neither does it appear that either of those works existed sufficiently early in an English dress. The entries in the Stationers books, and the passage in Laneham's Letter, most probably referred to these Tales and Quicke Answeres if or it appears that their popular titles were The Hundred Merry Tales, and The Book of Merry Tales. * Misled by the observations of Mr. Steevens and Mr. Reed, the author of an ingenious tcork recently published has fallen into an error; he says, " The Cent Noutelles were translated into English under the title of a Hundreth Mery Tales, 1557. This tersion is now lost, but was a fashionable work in its day." Dunlop's History of Fiction. Vol. II. p. 403. tJo tfje EeatJer* ix Sir John Harington, in the humorous " Apo- logy "for his Metamorphosis of Ajax, has the following passage: " Ralph Horsey, Knight, the best housekeeper . in Dorsetshire, a good freeholder, a deputie Lieutenant. Oh Sir, you keep hauks and houndes, and hunting horses ; it may be some madde fellowe will say, you must stand up to the chinne, for spending flue hun- dred poundes, to catch hares, and Partridges, that might be taken for flue poundes." And against this passage in the margin, he says, " according to the tale in the hundred mery tales :" the tale referred to will be found in this collection, it is the Hi. p. 57 of this edition. Other stories have been laid under contribution from this work by Sir John, as the xlix. the xcvi. the cxi. and others; besides that, in the course of his amusing volume, many things evince the intimate knowledge he had of it. This is sufficient to establish the fact that it was the present collection which Shakspeare alluded to under the same title ; and however improper it may have been for the eye of Beatrice, it will be recollected, that it is only a supposed x o tf>e Scafcrr, taunt of Benedick's, meant to infer that her wit was borrowed ; Shakspeare would of course refer to a book of Jests then in the hands of every one ; and it must be- confessed, that it was a more probable source for Beatrice to obtain her " quips and cranks," than either the Cent Nouvelles or the Decameron. That this book should hare fallen into com- plete oblivion, and have been almost lost to us, is not very surprising, when we consider its popular nature, and that as far as we know, there never was but one edition of it ; of that edition probably not two copies are now in existence. A desire on my part to possess so curious a monument of thefestivous gayety of our ancestors, occasioned me to make a tran- script *; and as a few friends were also desir- * From the copy formerly in the Roxburghe collection, now in that of the Marquis of Blandford. This im- pression has been carefully collated tcilh the original, u-liich has been followed punctuatim et literatim, except in those places where the absence of words are marked by asterisks. &o tfje EeaHer, xi ous of possessing copies, I was induced to print a very small impression. The curious in these matters, independent of the sanction of Shak- speare's citation, will find it possesses other claims to attention. It affords an amusing specimen of the unsettled state of our lan- guage, particularly in regard to orthography, in the reign of Henry the Eighth ; and another illustration, if another were necessary, of the little respect shewn to decency of manners, or delicacy of speech, in that licentious age. It is true that neighbouring nations surpassed us in profligacy ; we were then, as since, contented to imitate their follies ; and this little work is a proof that we were also inclined to borrow their wit. Licentious as some parts of it will be found, this selection is chaste indeed, com- pared with the Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles, or even the Heptameron of the Queen of Navarre; and the grossierete and indecency of some articles excepted, is perhaps as amusing for its extent as any since compiled. It appears to be a translation either from the Latin or French, but most probably the latter, as some xii o ti)t EcaBcr. words and idiomatic phrases are adopted from that language; it may however have been selected from works of the same kind in various languages. Many of the tales are common to most collections of the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries; the Facetiae of Poggius have largely contributed, and some of the stories are to be found in those ascribed to Arlotto, Goiiella, Barlaccbia, and other Italian wits. The occurrence of English names, in some of the stories, might have led to the sup- position that they were original; but the same stories will be found in earlier foreign collec- tions, where they are applied to celebrated characters of the time; indeed, it has been a common artifice with the compilers of Facetiae to throw an air of verisimilitude over their collections, by introducing their cotemporaries, distinguished for wit, as interlocutors. The moral reflections which are made to ac- company many of the stories, is an amusing feature in this collection, for their naivete /re- auently excites a smile where the tale itselj o rlje EeaBcr, xiii would fail to do so. This feature it has in common with other productions of the same class ; and indeed it was the practice of many well-intentioned religious men to attempt the moralization of works, in their nature of quite a different tendency, thus endeavouring to blend instruction with amusement; hence the moralized Roman de la Rose, and the various spiritual romances with which the infancy of European literature abounded; this attempt was sometimes carried to a truly laughable extent, for instance, in an early French Trans- lation of the Facetiae of Poggius, published at Lyons, 1550, after relating a licentious and dirty story, the moralizer is obliged at length to confess " En ceste facecie il n'y a rien moral : c'est toute matiere salle, sinou que d'aucuns hommes ne doyvent pas donner a entendre choses vilaines a leurs femmes, comme fist cestuy-cy des pets." It has been deemed expedient to follow the original in every respect, and even the excep- tionable stories are retained, substituting aste- xiv o tf>e EeaBer. risks, only where the expression was revoltingly gross or indecent ; had the book been intended for public circulation these stories would have been omitted ; but it is presumed the few for whom it is intended will be careful that it fall not into improper hands, although I do not deem there is much danger to be apprehended from the perusal, for the passages which con- stitute the objectionable parts of this little book, may be said to carry their antidote with them : as who but those deep plunged indeed into the bitter gulf of sensuality, can delight in mere dirty allusions and indecent expressions, which even when clothed in wit's fantastic garb, to the mind rightly constituted, are not alto- gether productive of unmixed pleasure at any age. In the course of reading the proofs, a few words which were presumed likely to perplex the reader unskilled in the English of our earlier writers have been noted, and are here subjoined ; it is presumed the explanations an- nexed are for the most part correct, and such &o tf)t Keatoer, xv as agree with the context: other words may perhaps have escaped me, but I believe they will generally be found of more obvious significa- tion. The number of Tales is cxiii. for by a mistake in numbering them in the original, the Ixxviii. is left out. The volume has no date ; but was probably executed about 1530 4. Berthelet began to print in 1529, and it is supposed left off business in 1541, as many books, subsequent to that year, are said to have been printed " in the house late Thomas Berthelet's." Some of these are dated as late as 1554 ; but the present volume, in its arrange- ment and execution, bears evidence of being one of his early performances. It is a small quarto, running from A to K 4, and the Title and Table consist of four leaves; thus making in the whole forty-four leaves. It is printed in a semi-got hie letter, which is common to most of the earlier productions of the same printer. I will now no longer detain the reader from his amusement, but merely assure him that I xvi o tf>e Eeatoer. hare endeavoured to render this little book in every respect such as, I trust, will make him receive it complacently as an humble substitute for the original, whose extreme rarity renders it doubtful whether he will ever have the good fortune to obtain a copy. THE EDITOR. Page Lint ADUOUTRY, adultery 81 penult. AMBAGIOUS, circumlocutory ... 33 17 ASTONIED, astonished 18 8 BAYNE, Fr. Bain, a bath 109 pen*u. CHADDE, Ich had, I had 100 20 DANGEROUS, difficult, sparing . . 56 13 DUTTE, do't, do it 99 15 FROTTE, Fr. to rub 110 1 GARNISON, Fr. garrison 71 8 GRYCE, step 33 4 GUERYSHEDDE, Fr. guerissoit, healed, recovered 52 14 HOVEDDE, flocked, hovered .... 61 8 1) xvni Page Lint IWYSS, truly, verily 4 7 J AN w AYES, Genoese, from Janua, Lot. vide Menagiana, T. p. 3. 01. 2 17 LEASYNGE, a lye, a falsity .... 17 18 Li MI TOUR, a friar licensed to beg within a certain district 38 16 LOTHLYE, loathsome 9 23 LYBELL, Lot. libellus, a book ... 41 9 ORELS, or else 49 9 PERYSSHYNS, parishioners .... 9 3 PESE, peace 57 13 POLLER, a cheat 15 17 POLLYNGE, cheating 15 17 PREACED, pressed 56 20 PROOLED, sought 24 16 PYLLED, pillaged 71 11 QUENGERED, ju? conjured ... 86 1 Row NED, whispered 7 15 xx Page Line SCROWES, scrolls, written papers . 38 14 SELYE, silly, simple 32 15 SERVAGE, slavery 69 7 SHALES, shells 54 16 SKELES, skill, knowledge 29 1 SORTE, a parcel, a number 58 4 STR AUGHT, stretched 6 5 SWEVENES, dreams 29 2 SYLLE, sell 9 11 SYLLER, seller 16 13 TOTETH, gazeth 16 18 TOTTYE, dizzy 6 2 VAYLED, availed 60 20 WENDE, guessed, supposed, con- 16 9 jectured 16 22 WENE, guess, suppose 4 8 WHOTETH, knoweth 82 uit. WREKED, revenged 57 7 WYTE, blame, fault YETE, eat 21 15 b2 jj g D s g Q Q n Xales, anU quicfte E anstocrcs, tietj> inetp, g g g aim pleasant to g g g retie. 1 g g g g g g g i g g Cfje Catrte. Pag* jF !)|>m rtjat tone out of ILonUon, anD fjau fite geruaunt folotojmge tjpm on foote. i ......... i f QDf tijm t^at preac^en on ssapntc Dap. tj ............................. 2 f SDf ttje ftenclje man t^at gtroue toit^ tl&e 3Ian* \papc foz 1)i0 armc s. Hi ................. 3 ' Cf fijc curate t'tjat gapoc out lo:0c fetmc fptic TjunBtetJ petsione0. titj .................. 5 f f tym tljat ptofetcu fysi Boug^tet to one in marpage. b .......................... 4 f f ttie men of t'be countrep, t!jat came to Hontion to fcpe a ctuci&jce of tooDDe. Mi ...... 4 f fflf ^pm ttiat folotoen f)i& iopfe to fiutpeng. Utj. ..... , .............. ............ 5 xxv p, ff f 2Df Ijpm tfat feHe in to tlje fpte. bit} ...... 5 f Of firm tljat Hoet) to calle frs scrr.atintc tfic fcjmge of foolejf. ijc .................... 6 f Of tljc pongr to oman, tfjat 0o?otocD 0o jrr atl> t^e DeatTje of ^et ^u^Banne. it ............ 7 f Of f)pm tljat kvsocti tijr fav:c mapuc toirft tlje longe nocr. jri. ...................... ? f Of the iiplanriT'ssljc manic! nuslucrc concecnpno; tlie siteple ann pulpptte. jcij .............. 9 f ffl>f ttie legfjers! aunsitoere to mapjster jcttj. . ................... .. . 9 f SDf ttjc c^aplen t^at sapDc our TaBpe mattenis Ipenge in T)i! teBBe. jtiii} .......... ...... 10 f (Df tipm tfiat Togtt ^iu purge in IlonBon. j;6. 11 f f t!)e matc^aunt ttjat loste ^10 fcounget ie* ttoene toare anB JLonnon. jcti ............. 12 f CDf t)it t^at toa0 calleu fcocfeola. jcbii ..... J3 f SDf ttie iolui man. ybtii .............. .14 f SDf tljc fat tooman ttiat eat anD golue frutc. ftp. ......... ..... .............. ....14 f SDf a pollct tljat fiegplen a pregtc. jcjt ..... J5 f Of papiriu0 ptetejctatu^l. ni ........... 17 xxv Page >f tbe corruptc man of latoe. wit ....... 19 1F SDf fepnge JLotoes of jrraunce ann man Conon. triu ..................... 20 IF SDf a picfce tbanfee, ttoat tbougtit to bejr.|rfe tbe mositc p?uncnt fepnge. wiitt ........ 23 f flDf Coatee t^e great astronomer, t!je felle in to a Dtcijc. tci). ......... . ....... 25 f 3Df tTie astronomer tljat t^eues robBeD. wbi. 25 f SDf tfje pIougTj man tljat toolne gape ^is pater naster toitl) a stetifast mpntic. rrlni ........ 26 f SDf $im tljat nreameB ^e founDe golne. trbiii. 27 f SDf tTje cra^pnge ponge gentrH man tfiat iuoln ciurtfjioiuc Ijig cncmi'G a mplc of. rtit. ..... 29 IF SDf ^tm tljat fell of a trt ann Iirafee a rptbe in fits SpBe. jew ........................ 31 f SDf t$e frper ttiat brapen in %ti {sermon, trri. 32 f Cbe oration of tt)anrba0f3aDour ttiat toas Sent to Pope (Urban.* jcrrii ................. 33 ' Of dj amliussancur tbat loas sent to t^e pjtncc ..... ....... ............. 34 f tJTtje ansiuere of Cfcomenes to tlje ^amiens ambassaDour. rtritii. ... .......... .....34 xxvi Cable. f flDf ttie topge man pigo, ana I)t0 tferuant. JCtriJ ............................... 35 f 2>f rije marcljant t^at mane a toager toil!) $i0 (orcr. xttbt. ........................ 36 f f rte pcrotoesi tljat rte frier gaue out againgt tljc pestilence, trtlm .................. 38 T Cf t^e p^dttton t^at DgcB to tanpte lipHes ouet n^j^t caHcD regcepte0. tjcjctitit ........ 40 f S)f ^tm t^at ioolne confegge ^im tp a Ijtell in torjtjnge. wjtij: ...................... 41 1f flDf t^e termite of Panoine. j:1 .......... 42 f (Df t^e ipIanDt^jitJ man t^at gato t^e Jtli ................................. 43 f Cf t$e courtier tfjat tatie tfjc tope to ^olne 1)i0 tlii ........................... 45 f SDf ttie Bece^tfuII gmuener. j:Itii ........ 45 f Cf t)im tTjat savuc Ije ieleueD t)t<; tupfc letter tljan otfjer, tljat gl)c ioas chaste, thai ...... 47 T Cf Ijim ttat pain t)t0 net tott^ crpeng ;bea. jrlb ................................ 48 f f ttie tooman ttiat appekn from ipnge Philip to fcjnge Philip, tlbi .................. 50 Cable. xxvii Page f SDf t^e olne tooman tljat prapn for tfje toelfare of tfje tpran JDenptfe. jftw. ............. 51 1[ 25 f tfje pfjtgitian Qcumonuis. jclimt ....... 52 f f <&ocratej! ann IMS sfcolnpnge topfe. jcltjc. 53 SDf tfje pfjigtttan ttiat tare ^10 patient on eaten an aggie. I. ................ .54" f f tT>e in^olBersi topfe, anD $et tj. louet^. It. 56 f CD f t)?m t^at ^ealen franticfce men. Ut. ... 57 f 25 f ^pm t^at 0a?n ^e toau nat inojt^j to open t!ie gate to t^e tpnge. Titt ............... 59 f Of 99ap0ter Slauajiour ann Surppn ^tji manne. Ittit ................................ 59 f SDf iipm rtat sought ^tsi topfe, ttiat toasf Dtoiuneu, agapngt tije gtreme. Ib. ......... 61 f 25 f Ijpm t^at at a gkpjmpissf) DefenDeD ^pm nnliauntlp but?) f)is feete. lui ............. 62 f 25 f tjpm tljat toolne gpue a gonge to tlje tauet= net for fjt?! Bpnet. ftti. ................. 63 1 25f t^e foole t!jat t^ougljt ^im sielfe Been, iufjan ijc iuas a (put. luiit ............... 64 IF 25 f tlje olBe man anD fjtsf 0onne t^at fyougl)t tits! a?(0e to t^e totone to 0jHe. li? ......... er xxv Prnft f SDf 1)im tljat sought fr* asgc, aitD roDe bpon $i0 fcacfce. Ijc ......................... 70 If tETje anstoere of jFafciug to JUuitts. Ijct. ... 71 f ^e anutoere of poUtss t!c S^nge of ract to ttie ^ropan amtia^iaiatiouts!. Ijcti ........... 71 f ^tc topee attistom of toaniiaH to ipnge 2tt- ttoct)u0 concerninge ^i0 rpclie armp. Ijcttt. ... 72 f t^lie tuojDcss of popiliugi tlje Somapn Dour to anttoclia0 t'be fcpnge. Ijcttit ......... 72 T (Df t)im t^at loueD t^je matctianteg iu^fe. Ijcti. 73 f SDf ttie toomatt tliat couereu $et Ijeeu, anu js^etocB bp Ijer ta^Ie. Iicbi ............. <, . . 75 . . . . . - ...... f ftoto afcranncr iuas moni^sTjcu to sice tlic firsste rtat Ije mette. IicDti ............... ^ 76 f Ooluc tlie aunciente cpte of Jlamgac toa0 gaucn from DeiStructton. Ijcimi ................. 77 f I)O\BC IDemogrijeness DefenUeti a mapne. Ijcijc. 77 f Cf l)im tfjat nespjcti to tie a gcntplman. Irr. 78 f Cf tijc gentpllman anD Ijis g^zctou iuifc. f f t^e tino ^onge men ffiat roue to to getfcer. Ijcpii ..... . .............. 79 xxx -^ :.__. page f Of fi)t pong man of TSzugig ana tyg gpotw. Irrtit 80 f Of \}im t^at maDe as tje fjanne ten a cfjaste Ijwer. fouii si f f tjtm t$at tlje cine tooue fcH on. Ijcjcb. . . . 8i' IT SDf ttje bJjDoinc t^at iuoluenotixieniJefotixiDelp pleasure, facbi 83 IT Of tl)e couctotts amljacgauour, t|jat tooln ifjcrc no mu^t&e for ^patinge of $10 putjie. Ijcjctjii. . . 83 f $otoe Denp0c tlje tpjan of ^ptacusie $eruto a couetouge man. I.tjcij: 85 f SDf t|e olne man ttiat qu^ngeren t^c ioj oute of tfje aplc tre tottf) sitones!. lyicj; 86 f SDf t^e rpc^e man tTjat ioas 0pcfee anu inolne nat recepae a gl^0ter. Ijcpji 87 f flDf ^tm tfiat fejmen ^im jielfe Deeu, to pjoue to^at 'fjts topfc liiolne Do. Irtttt 88 IT 2Df t^c poure man, in to t^e in^ojie ^oa0e tfjeuest fcjafce bp npgtit. Ijrjcictti 89 f SDf ^tm t^at srtjuftie ^aue lien ^angen for lji& gcoffinge anu ^i0 ie^tpnge. Ifitiiii 90 f Of fjim tfjat TiaO Ijis goo^c stoic. IrttU. ... 91 Page t 2Df ttie Megger tfjat siapDe $e toag of fe^nne to fepnge J9f)pltp of 39aceoone. \wVa\ ...... 91 f SDf Dantess angiuere to t$e iegter. fojcbtj. . 92 f S)f tjpm t^at $an (OK ete?. Ijcjcjcbitj ...... 93 c Of tlic olDe iuoman tljat ^an jsoic ete$. IjCJW .............................. 93 f SDf fjpm t^at ^aB t^c cuutou^ of a toarDc. ice, 91 f 2>f ttie ejccellentf pe^ntet, tfcat ^aune foule c^^Iutett. jci ....................... 9.) f f t!>e jscoffet t^at mane one a (Df fde marctjant of jflorence, Cliarle^. jcciii. 96 2Df tlie c^e0!t)te man callcn Culpn. ycitij. 96 SDf tm t^at Desip?eiJ to ~bt gette bpon rte 97 f SDf t^e iujBotoeu Daughter, ttiat teas gente to t^e aiiiot toit$ a couple of capons, jctoi. ... 99 T ff)f ttie ttoo men ttiat n^anie a ppnte of in^pte tojne to getter, jccbi; ................. 100 f Cf tf)c Doctour tljat ucsp:cn to go iDttlj a fouler to catc^e fjp^Bed. jrcfitu ............ 101 xxx Page f Cf 'Ijpm ttjat tmnmoke to tcadjc an asse to ana tette. tcir. ................. f SDf tlje frjer tljat confesses tf)t fapje tooman. r. ................................ 102 f f t^e cljapplen of JLouen callen t'f;at DcceintetJ an tigcrcr. ci. ............. 104 H" f t^e game c^aplen ann T)ti eptter. cij. . ioe f f t!>e olue manne t^at putte Ijpm gelfe in cttj ................ 107 f Qf Tjj>m rtat ^aUDe a flje pe^nteD in t)t0 ctiii .............................. 109 1[ S)f t| empetout 3ugusitu0 anu t^e olne men. cb ................................ 109 f SDf Pi)odon0 oration to tt)e 3tt|enten0. cbt. no f f Demo0t^ene0 anB ptjocton. ctiii. .... ill f 2Df t^e aungtoete of P^ocion to rtiem t^at ^m a great gpfte from SleicanDer. ctttj ............................... j II 1" f Denpsse t^e tp?an ann ^isi sfonne. cijc. . 112 f SDf pomponiusi t^e Komapne t^at toasi taien ann i^ottg^t before 0l&iri)?tDate0. cr ....... 112 : Of 3Titu(3 ann t'&e scoffer, tfi .......... 113 xxxii table. f Cf ^ctpto nasica, anB m. rnii j .................. 1 1 f Sable. ann duicfce *" Cf fjpm tfjat rone out of ILonBon ana fiat) Tjis geruaunt folotopnge on foote. t. if -I HERE was a manne on a tyme that rode v. myle out of London, and had his seruaunt folowyng after him on fote, the whiche came so nere, that the horse strake hym a great stroke vpon the thye. The seruaunte thynk- ynge to be reuenged, toke and threwe a great stone at the horse, and hytte his mayster on the raynes of the backe, who thought it had beue his horse. He within a whyle loked backe and chydde his seruaunte bycause he came haltynge so farre behynde: the seruaunt aunswered: Sir your horse hath gyuen me suche a stroke vpon my thygh, that I can go no faster. Trewely sayde his mayster, the anU horse is a great kyckar, for lyke wyse with his hele right nowe he gaue me a great stroke vpon the raynes of my backe. f 2Df fcpm t$at prer&en on gapnt nap. it. IT A FRYEREthat preached vpon a sayntChris- tofers daye, greatly laudynge saynte Christo- pher, sayde : what a prerogatyue hadde he here in erthe, in his armes to beare our Sauioure? was there euer any lyke hym in grace: A homely blount felowe heryng him aske twyse or thryse that question so ernestly, answered : yes mary, The asse that bare both hym and his mother. 1 &>f tl)t ftcnctie man, ttjat gtroue Jantoap for Ois armcs. tit. 1F THERE was one amonge the Janwayes, that the Frenche kyng had by red to make warre agaynst the Englysshe men, whiche bare an oxe heed peynted in his shelde: the whicbe shelde a noble man of France challenged : and so longe they stroue, that they must nedes fyght for it. So at a day and place appoynted the freuche gallaunt came into the felde anstoercs. 3 rychely armed at all peces. The Janway all vnarmed came also in to the felde, and said to the frenche man, wberfore shall we this day fyght? Mary sayd the frenche man, I wyll make good with my body, that these armes were myne auncetours before thyne. what were your auncetours armes, quod the Jan- waye? An oxe heed, sayd the frenche man. Than sayde the Janwaye, here nedeth no batayle: For this that I beare is a cowes heed. By this tale ye perceyue howe nycely the vayne braggynge of the frenche man was deryded. r Cf tfyt curate t^at gapne our llorBe feBBe OL f tipnt ttiat profmtJ $t0 Bottom in manage. t>. 1T THERE was a man vpon a tyme, whiche profered his doughter to a yonge man in manage, the which yonge manne refused her, sayenge, that she was to yonge to be maryed. I wys, quod her foolysshe father she is more able than ye wene. For she hath borne iii. children by our parysshe clerke. Lo by this tale ye se, that foles can nat telle what and whan to speake, therfore it were best for them to kepe alway silence. f 3>f ttjem t!at came to JUnton to fcpe a iructfiice. tot. 1T THERE were certayne men vpon a tyme sent out of a village to London to bye a Cru- cifixe of wodde. The Caruer that they came to, seynge and herynge by theyr wordes, that they were but folysshe blount felowes, asked them, whether they wolde haue the ymage a lyue or elles deade. whiche question so abasshed them, that they went a syde to deuyse whether was beste. So whan they had spoken priuely to gether, they came to the caruer agayne and said, they wold haue sDuicfce tlie image a lyue : for if theyr neighbours at home were nat so contente, they myghte lyghtly kylle hym. f 3>f fipm ttjat folotoefl Ijif* tojfe to fcurpenge. bit. IT A MAN that wepyiige folowed his wyfe to buryenge, rebuked his lyttel sonne, that wente with hym, bycause he sange, sayenge, that he was peuysshe and madde to synge at his mothers buryenge, but he shulde rather be sory and wepe. The chylde answered : Fa- ther, seynge ye gyue to these prestes money to synge at my mothers buryenge, why be ye angry with me, that aske you nothynge for my syngynge ? His father aunswered : the preestes offyce and thyne is nat all one. By this tale ye may perceyue that all thynges beseme nat euery body. If 2Df f)]>itt tljat fdle into tfje fpre. biii. 11 A FELOWE that was frowarde to his wyfe, vsed to be oute drynkyuge many tymes verye late. So on a nyghte he taryed so longe oute, that his wyfe wente to bedde, and badde her mayde make a good fyre, and tarye vp for hym. About xij. of the clocke home he anS came, and as he stode warmynge him by the fyre his hede was so tottye, that he felle in to the fyre. The mayde seing him fall ratine vp cryenge to her maistres, and sayd: Alas my maister is fallen and lyeth longe straughte in the fyre. No force mayde said her maistres, let him lye and take his pleasure in his owne house, where so euer him listeth. f Cf Ijim tTjat tigcti to cal Ijis servant tljc fetnge cf folesf. if. 1[ THERE was a man that had a dulle lump- isshe felow to his seruant, wherfore he vsed commonly to calle him the kinge of fooles. The felowe at laste waxed angry in his minde to be alway so called and sayde to his mayster : I wolde that I were the kinge of foles, for than no man coulde compare with me in largenes of kingedome, and also you shulde be my subiect. By this, one may perceiue, that to moch of one thing is not good : many one calleth an other fole, and is more fole him selfe. antoere0, 7 2Df t^e Eonge tooman tljat gototoeD go greatly $er If THERE was a yonge woman, the whiche for her husbande that laye a dyenge, sorowed oute of all measure, wherfore her father came often to her and sayde : Daughter leaue your mourninge, for I haue prouyded for you a nother husbande, a farre more goodly man. But she did nat onely continue in her sorowe, but also was greatly displeased, that her father made any motion to her of an other husbande. Assone as she had buryed her husbande, and the soule masse was songe, and that they were at dyner, betwene sobbynge and wepynge she rowned her father in the eare, and sayde : Father, where is the same yonge man, that ye said shuld be min hus- bande? Lo thus may ye se, that women sorowe ryght longe after theyr husbondes be departed to God. 1" SDf fnm tfjat fetggeB ffjc maps toit!) tlje longe nose. jtt. 11 A BABLYNGE gentylman, the whiche on a tyme wolde haue bassed a fayre mayde, that had nat the leest nose, sayde : How shulde I kysse you : youre nose wyll not suffre our lyppes to mete ? The mayden waxinge shamfast and angrye in her mynde, for with his scoffe he a lyttell touched her, answered on this wyse : Syr if ye can not kysse my mouth for my nose, ye may kysse me there as I haue nere a nose. Ye may by this tale lerne, that hit is folye so to scoffe, that youre selfe therby shulde be laughed to scorne agayne. One that is ouer couetous ought nat to attwite an other of pro- digalite. Thou arte her brother (sayd Alc- meon to Adrastus) that slewe her husbande. But he blamed nat Alcmeon for an others faute, but obiected against him his owne. Thou hast with thy hande (sayd he) slayne thin owne mother. It is nat ynough to haue rebukes redie, and to speke vyle wordes agaynst other : for he that so shuld do, ought to be without any vyce. For of all men sayth Plutarchus, he ought to be innocent and haue the lyfe vnculpable, that wolde reprehende the fautes of other. The lyttell morall boke saythe : It is a foule thynge worthye rebuke and blame A vyce to reprehende and do the same. S&uic&e anetoereis. O T $c CJpIanDijSgljc mang angtocre, cottcerninge tfjc stepfc ann pulpit, tit. 1T I N a certayne place, on a ty me the perysshy ns had pulled downe theyr steple, and had buylded it vp newe agayne, and had put out theyr belles to be newe founded : and bycause they range nat at the bysshops entrynge in to the village, as they were wont and acustomed to do, he asked a good homely man, whether they had no belles in theyr steple : he answered, no. Than sayde the bysshop, ye may sylle aweye your steple. why so, and please your lord- ship sayd the man? Bycause hit stondeth vacant, said the bysshop? Than sayde the man, we may well sylle a way an other thinge, that we haue in our churche, what is that, sayd the bysshop, That is a pulpit quod he. for this vii. yere ther was no sermon made therin. f flDf ttje fceggens angtoere to CJ9. fceIton tlje poete. *itt. 1T A POURE begger, that was foule, blacke, and lothlye to beholde, cam vpon a tyme vnto mayster Skelton the poete, and asked him his almes. To whom mayster Skelton sayde : I praye the gette the awaye fro me, for thou 10 slcs anB lokeste, as though thou earnest out of helle. The poure man perceyuingf he wolde gyue him no thynge, answerd : For soth syr ye say trouth, I came oute of helle. why dyddest thou nat tary styl there, quod mayster Skelton : Mary syr quod the begger, there is no roume, for suche poure beggers as I am, all is kepte for suche gentyl men as ye be. f 3>f t$e cljaplen, tliat gapue out IaBp matenss a f>cn. tiiiL 1T A CEHTAYNE lordes chaplen bosted on a tyme syttynge at his lordes table, that he sayde our lady matyns euery morninge besyde all his other seruice and orisons. The lorde to proue whether his chaplen did as he sayde, arose yerly on a morninge, and went to his chaplens chamber, and called him, saying: where be ye syr wylliam : Here and please your lordshyp (quod he) in my bedde. why, sayd the lorde, I thought ye had ben vp and sayenge of our lady matyns. I am nowe sayinge it, quod the chappleyn. what lienge in your bedde, quod the lorde 1 why syr, sayd the chapplaiu where shulde women be serued but a bedde ? 11 f flDf frm tf&at lost t)t0 purge in JLonnon. jcb. IT A CERTAYN man of the countre, the whiche for busines came vp to London, lost his purse as he wente late in the euenynge: And by cause the somme therin was great, he sette vp bylles in dyuers places, that if any man of the cyte had founde the purse, and wolde brynge it agayne to him, he shulde haue welle for his laboure. A gentyll man of the Temple wrote vnder one of the byls, howe the man shulde come to his chamber, and tolde where. So whan he was come, the gentyll man asked him fyrst what was in the purse, secondli what countrey man he was, and thirdly what was his name. Syr quod he xx. nobles, was inne the pourse, I am halfe a walshe man : and my name is John vp Janken. John vp Jankyn (sayde the gentyll man) I am gladde I knowe thy name. For so longe as I lyue, thou nor none of thyn name shal haue my purse to kepe. And nowe fare well gentyll John vp Jankyn. Thus he w r as mocked to scorne and went his way. Hereby ye may perceyue, that a man can not haue a shrewde tourne, but otherwhyle a mocke withall. 12 tEalea ant) f flDf ttie ntarctiaunt tl>at lost $t(3 fcofljette iettoene toarc ant) Hon. rfoi. IT A CERTAYNE marchant betwene ware and London lost his bodget, and a c. li. therin, wherfore he caused to proclayiue in dyuers market townes, who so euer that founde the sayde bodget, and wolde bryug it agayne, shulde haue xx. li. for his labour. An honeste husbande man, that chaunsed to fynde the sayde bodget, brought it to the baily of ware, accordynge to the crye, and required his xx. li. for his labour, as it was proclaymed. The couetous marchant whan he vnderstode this, and that he muste nedes pay xx. li. for the fyndynge, he sayd, that there was an c. and xx. li. in his bodgette, and so wolde haue hadde his owne money and xx. li. ouer. So longe they stroue, that the matter was brought before mayster Vauasour the good Judge, whan he vnderstode by the bayllye, that the crye was made for a bodget with an c. li. therin, he demanded where hit was? here quod the bailly, and toke it vnto him. Is it iuste an c. li. sayde the Judge? ye truly e, quod the baillye. Holde sayde the Judge (to 13 him that founde the bodget) take thou this money vnto thyne owne vse : and if thou hap to fynde a bodgette with a c. and xx. li. therin, brynge it to this honest marchante man. It is myn, I lost no more but an c. li. quod the marchant. ye speke nowe to late, quod the judge. By this tale ye may vnderstande, that they that go about to disceyue other, be often tymes disceyued them selfe. And some tyme one fall- ethe in the dytche, that he him selfe made. f SDf t)im rtat toag catten cacfeolne. tfm. 1T A CERTEYNE man, whiche vpon a tyme iu company betwene ernest and game was called cuckolde wente angerly home to his wyfe and sayde : wyfe, I was this day in company called kockolde, whether am I one or nat ? Syr truly, sayde she, ye be none. By my fayth (sayde he) thou shall swere so vpon this boke, and helde to her a boke. She denyed hit longe, but whan she sawe there was no remedy, she sayde : well sythe I must nedes swere, I pro- myse you by my faythe, I will swere truly, yea do so quod he. So she toke the boke in 14 &ate0 sntt her hande and sayd : By this boke syr ye be a cokolde. By the masse hore sayd he, thou lyest, thou sayste it for none other cause but to anger me. By this tale ye may parceyue, that it is nat best at all tymes for a niau to beleue his wyfe, though she swere vpon a boke. f E>f tlje toloug man. tfmi. 1T A MAN that was ryght iolous on his wyfe, dreamed on a nyght as he laye a bed with her and slepte, that the dyuell aperd vnto him and sayde : woldest thou nat be gladde, that I shulde put the in suretie of thy wyfe? yes sayde he. Holde sayde the dyuell, as longe as thou hast this rynge vpon thy fynger, no man shall make the kockolde. The man was gladde therof, And whan he awaked, he founde his fynger in ****. fatte tooman t$at goftc frute. jcijr. 1T As a greate fatte woman sate and solde frute in a lente, there came a yonge man bye, and behelde her frute ernestly, and specially he caste his eyes on her fygges, she asked him, as was her gyse : Syr wyll ye haue any figges ? 9n0toere0 15 they be fayre and good. And whan she sawe he was content : she sayde howe manye? wyll ye haue fyue. li.? He was content. So she waved him oute fyue. li. in to his lappe : and whyle she layde a side her balaunce, he wente his waye faire and softely. whan she tourned her to haue taken money, and sawe her chap- man go his waye, she made after a pace, but faster with her voice, than with hir fote. He dissemblinge the mater wente styll forth on. She made suche a cryenge and folkes gathered so faste, that he stode styli. So in the preace he shewed to the people all the matter, and said : I bought nothing of hir, but that that she vnbyd gaue me, I toke, and if she wyll I am contente to go be fore the Justice. f SDf a. poflcr tljat fcegjleU a pregt. jcjc. IT VPON a tyme in Andwarpe a false pollynge felowe came vnto a certeyne preste, that hadde his purse hangynge at his gyrdell strouttinge oute full of money, that he a lyttell before had resceyued, and gentilly gretynge hym sayde : Good mayster, our parysshe preste bad me bye him a palle (which 16 sif0 snfc .is the vppermoste vestement, that a presto syngeth masse in) if it wolde please you to go with me, I were moche bounde to you : for our curat and you be of one stature. The preste was contente. whan they came there, where he wolde bye it, the palle was brought forth, and the preste dyd it on: the poller loketh and toteth tberon, and preyseth it, but he layde a wyte, that it was to shorte before. Nay quod the syller, the faute is nat in the vestement, hit is the strouttinge purse vnder- neth that beareth hit vp : Shortely to speake, the prest dyd of his purse, and layde hit by, and than the vestiment they be helde agayne. whan the poller sawe the preste was tourned, he snatched vp the purs, and toke his legges and to go. The preste rounne after with the vestement on his backe : and the vestement maker after the prest. The prest bad stop the thefe, the siller bad stop the prest, the poller bade holde the mad preste, and euery man wende he had ben mad in dede, bicause he had the vestement on his backe. And so whyle one letted an other the false poller went his wave. Gutcfie anstocrro. 17 f 2Df JpapinuiS ptetejctatug. wu 1T AULUS Gellius reherseth, how the Senatours of Rome on a tyme helde a great counsaile. Before which tyme the senatours chyldren, called of their garmentes Pueri pretextati, vsed to come in to the parlemente house with theyre fathers. So at this tyme a chylde called Papyrius, cam in with his father and herde the great counsayl the which was straytely commaunded to be kept secrete tyll hit was decreed, whan this chylde came home, his mother asked him what the coun- saile was. The chylde answered, hit oughte nat to be tolde. Now was his mother more desyrous to knowe hit than she was before : wherfore she enquered more straitly and more violentlye. The chylde beinge sore con- strayned of his mother, shortelye deuysed a propre merye leasynge. It is reasoned in the parlemente (quod he) whether of both shulde be more profytable for the comon welth, a man to haue ii. wiues or els a woman ii. hus- bandes. whan she harde him say so, her mynde was pacified : and forth with she wente and tolde hit to the other matroiies. 18 tale0 anD On the morowe a great company of the moste notable wyues of Rome came to the parlemente house weping, and humbly prayen : that rather one woman shuld be maryed vnto ii. men than ii. wemen to one man. The Sena- tours entringe in to the court, what with the sodayn assembling of the wyues and of their request, were right sore astonied, than the childe Papyrius stode forth, and enformed the senatours, how his mother wold haue com- pelled him to vtter the secrete counsayle : and howe he to content her mynde, feyned that leasynge. For which dede the Senatours right hyghly commended the childes fydelite and wytte. And forth with they made a law, that no child after that (saue only Papirius) shuld come in to the parlement house with his father. And for his great prudence in that tender age he hadde gyuen to hym, to his great honour, this surname Pretextatus. Whereby ye may se, that the hygh treasure of man, and greattest grace, resteth in well ordrynge of the tonge. The moste prudent poete Hesiodus sayth : The tonge shulde not ronne at large, but be hydde as a precious HDute&e 8nstoerc0. 19 treasure. For of all the merabres of mau, the tonge yll ordered is the worste. The tonge blasphemeth God : The tonge sklaun- dereth thy neyghbour. The tonge breaketh peace, and stereth vp cruell warre, of all thynges to maukynde moste mischefull, the tonge is a broker of baudrye: the tonge setteth frendes at debate : The tonge with flatterynge, detraction, and wanton tales en- fecteth pure and clene myndes: the tonge without sworde or venome strangleth thy bro- ther and frende: and brefely to speake, the tonge teacheth cursed heresyes, and of good Christiens maketh Antichristes. f 2Df ifyt corrupte man of latoe. jjij. H THERE was a man of lawe, whiche on a tyrae sbulde be Judge betweue a poure man and a ryche : the poure man came, and gaue hym a glasse of oyle (whiche was as rnoche as his power wold stretche to) and desyred, that he wolde be good in his matter : yes quod he, the matter shall passe with the. The riche man perceyuynge that, sente to the same iudge a fatte hogge, and prayed hym to be fauorable c 2 20 Cairo anU on his syde. wherfore he gaue Judgement agaynst the poure man. whan the poure man sawe that he was condemned, pytously corn- play nyng he sayd to the Judge: Syr I gaue you a glasse of oyle, and ye promysed by your faith, the matter shulde passe with me. To whom the iuge sayde : For a trouth there came a hogge into my house, whiche founde the glasse of oyle, and ouerthrewe and brake it: and so through spyllynge of the oyle I cleane forgot the. Wherby ye may se, that eueriuore amonge The ryche hath his wyll, the pore taketh wrong*. f SDf fcpitjrc Jloiueg of jFrance, ann t^c ttui. IT WHAT tyme kynge Lowes of Fraunce, the xi. of that name, bycause of the trouble that was in the realme, kepte hym selfe in Bur- goyne, he chaunced by occasion of huntinge to come acqueynted with one Conon a homely husbande man, and a plaine meanynge felowe. In whiche maner of men the hygh princes greatly delyte them. To this mans house the kynge ofte resorted from huntynge. And with O.uic&e anstocrcc. 21 great pleasure he wolde eate radysshes rotes with hym. within a whyle after whan Lowes was restored home, and had the gouernaunce of France in his hande, this husbande man was counsailed by his wyfe, to take a goodly sorte of radysshe rotes and to go and gyue them to the kyng, and put him in myud of the good chere, that he had made hym at his house. Conon wolde nat assent therto, what folysshe woman quod he, the great princes remembre nat suche smalle pleasures. But for all that she wolde not reste tyll Conon chose out a great syght of the fayrest rootes, and toke his journey towarde the courte. But as he went by the way, he yete vp all the radysshes saue one of the greattest. Conon peaked in to the courte, and stode where the kynge shulde passe by : By and by the kynge knewe hym, and called hym to hym. Conon stepte to the kynge and pre- sented his rote with a gladde chere. And the kynge toke it more gladly, and bad one, that was nerest to hym, to laye it vp amonge those iewels that he best loued: And than coin- raaunded Conon to dyne with hym. whan 2-2 Sales ant) dyner was done he thanked Conon : and whan the kyng sawe that he wolde departe home, he commaunded to gyue hym a thousaude crownes of golde for his radisshe rote, whan this was knowen in the kinges house, one of the court gaue the kyng a propre mynion horse. The kyng perceiuing, that he dyd it, bicause of the liberalite shewed vnto Conon, with very glad chere he toke the gyft, and counsailed with his lordes, howe and with what gyft he myght recompence the horse, that was so goodly and faire. This meane while the picke thank had a meruailous great hope, and thought in his mynde thus : If he so wel recompensed the radysshe rote, that was gyuen of a rusticall man: howe moche more largely wyl he recompence suche an horse, that is gyuen of me that am of the courte : whan euery man had sayde his raynde, as though the kynge had counsayled aboute a great weyghty matter, and that they hadde longe fedde the pycke thanke with vayne hope, at last the kyng sayd. I remembre nowe, what we shal gyue hym: and so he called one of his lordes, and badde hym in SDutc&e 3n0tocrc0. 23 his eare, go fetche hym that that he founde in his chambre (and told hym the place where) featly folded vp in sylke. Anone he cauie and brought the radysshe roote, and euen as it was folded vp, the kyng with his owhe hande gaue it to the courtier, sayenge: we suppose your horse is well recompensed with this iewell, for it hath cost vs a thousande crowues. The courtier went his way neuer so glad, and whan he had MI folded it, he found none other treasure, but the radysshe rote almoste wethered. f SDf an ottier picfce tfanfce, anu ti&e game feinge. 1T VPON a time a seruant of the fornamed kinges, seynge a louce crepe vpon the kynges robe, kneled downe, and put vp his hande, as though he wolde do somwhat, and as the kynge bowed hym selfe a lyttell, the man toke the louce, and conueyed her away priuely. The kynge asked hym what it was, but he was ashamed to shew. So moche the kyng instanted hym that at laste he confessed hit was a louce. Oh quod the kynge, it is good lucke. For 24 Sales anD this declareth me to be a man : for that kynde of vermyne principally greueth mankyntle : specially in youth. And so the kynge com- manded to gyue him fyfty crownes for his labour. Nat longe after an other, seynge that the kynge gaue so good a rewarde for so smalle a pleasure, came and kneled downe, and put vp his hande, and made as though he toke and conueyed some what priuelye awaye. And whan the kynge constrayned him to tell what hit was, with moche dissemblyng shamfastues he sayde, hit was a flee. The kynge perceyu- inge his dissimulation, sayd to him, what woldest thou make me a dogge 1 and so for his fifty crownes, that he prooled for, the kinge commaunded to gyue him fiftye strypes. Wherby ye maye note, that there is great difference betwene one that doth a thynge of good will and mynde, and hym that doth a thynge by crafte and dissymulation. whiche thinge this noble and moste prudent prince weil vnderstode. And one ought to be well ware houe he hath to do with highe princes and their busynes. And if Ecclesiast forbid, 3&uic6e anjstoerw. 25 that one shall mynde none yll to a kynge, howe shulde any dare speake yll ? f SDf STfjalesi tfce astronomer t$at fell in a Bitclj. jrrfc. 1F LAERTIUS wryteth, that Thales Milesius wente oute of his house vpon a time to beholde the starres for a certayn cause : and so longe he went backeward, that he fell plumpe in to a ditche ouer the eares. wherfore an olde woman, that he kepte in his house laughed and sayde to him in derision : O Thales, how shuldest thou haue knowlege in heuenly thinges aboue, and knowest nat what is here benethe vnder thy feet ? f SDf tfje astronomer rtat t^euesi rofrbett. icttri. H As an astronomer that satte vpon a tyme in the market place of a certayne towne, and toke vpon him to dyuine and to shewe what theyr fortunes and chaunses shuld be, that came to him: there came a felow and tolde him (as it was in elede) that theues had broken in to his house, and had borne away all that he hadde. These tidinges greued him so sore, that all heuy and sorowefullye he rose vp airti and wente his waye : whan the felowe sawe him do so, he sayde : O thou folissh and madde man, goest thou aboute to dyuine other mennes matters, and arte ignorant in thine owne ? This tale (besyde the blynde errour of suche foles) toucheth them, that handell theyr owne matters lewdly, and wyll entermedle in other mens. And Cicero saythe : That wyse man, that can nat profytte him selfe, hath but lytell wysdome. f Cf tljc plotigf) man tijat sam Ot pater nostcr. trim. f A KUDE vplandisshe plough man, whiche on a tyme reprouynge a good holy father sayd, that he coude saye all his prayers with a hole mynde and stedfaste intention, without think- yng on. any other thynge. To whome the good holy man sayde : Go to, saye one Pater nostei- to the ende, and thynke on none other thinge, and I wyll gyue the m\n horse. That shall I do, quod the plough man, and so began to saye, Pater noster qui es in celts, tyll he came to Sanctificetur nomcn tuum, and than his thought moued him to aske this question : C.uic&e anstoerce. 27 yea but shal I haue the sadil and bridel withal? And so he lost his bargain. f 9Df $im t$at nteamen lie fonue golne. jcjcbiu. 1F THERE was a man, that sayde in company vpon a tyme, howe he dreamed on a nyghte, that the deuyll ledde him in to a felde to dygge for golde: whan he had founde the golde, the deuyll sayde: Thou canste not carye hit a waye nowe, but marke the place, that thou mayste fetche hit an other tyme. what marke shall I make, quod the man? &*** ouer hit, quod the deuyl, for that shall cause euery man to shonne the place, and for the hit shall be a speciall knowlege. The man was contente and dyd so. So whan he awaked oute of his slepe, he parceyued, that he had foule defyled his bedde. Thus betwene stynke and dyrte vp he rose, and made him redy to go forth : and laste of all he put on his bonette, wherin also the same riighte the catte hadde s* * *. For great stinke wherof he threwe away his couer knaue, and was fayne to wasshe his busshe. Thus his golden dreame tournedde all to dyrte. 28 ftales atrtj Tibullus sayth : Dreames in the nyght be- gylen : and cause fearefull myndes to drede thynges that neuer shalbe. But yet Claudian sayeth: Dreames in sondrye wyse fygured gyueth warnynge of vnluckye thynges. And Valerius Maxiraus wryteth, that as Hamylcar besiged the cyte of Syracuse, he dreamed, that he harde a voyce saye, that he the nexte daye shulde suppe with in the cyte. wherfore he was ioyfull, as thoughe the victorye from heuen had ben to him promised. And so apparayled his hooste to assaute the towne: in whiche assaute he chaunced to be taken in his lodgynge by them of the cyte, and so bounden lyke a prysoner, they ledde hym in to theyr cite. Thus he more disceyued by hope, than by his dreme, supped that nyghte within the citie as a prisoner, and nat as a conquerour, as he presumed in his mynde. Alcibiades also hadde a certayne vision in the nyghte of his miserable ende. This tale sheweth that dreames sometyme come to passe by one meane or other. And he that desyreth to knowe more of dreames wry tten in our englysshe tonge, let hym rede the tale of flDuic&e 9[n0toerc0 29 the nounnes preste, that G. Chauser wrote : and for the skeles howe dreames and sweuens are caused, the begynnynge of the boke of Fame, the whiche the sayde Chauser compiled with many an other matter full of wysedome. f (Df tlje ctafejttge ponge gentpll man, rijat toolu ouertliroiBe JjifS enmjesi a mple of. wi*. 1T A YONGE gentyl man in a cite that was beseged, rebuked the other and called them cowherdes, bycause they wolde nat issue out and fight with their enmyes. So he armed at all peces lepte on horsebacke, and galopte out at the gates, whan he thus crakynge hadde prycked on aboute a myle, he eucountred with manye, that retourned home from the skyr- mysshe sore wounded, wherfore he beganne to ryde a softer pace. But whan he harde the hydous noyse, and sawe a myle frome hym howe fyerslye they of the citie and theyr enmyes assayled eche other, he stode euen stylle. Than one that harde his crakynge before asked hym, why he rode no uere to fyghte with their enmyes. He answered and sayde: Trewly I fynde nat my selfe so able 30 and stronge in armes, that my liarte wyl serue me to ryde any nere to them. Wherby may be noted, that nat onely the force of the mynde, but also of the body shulde be wel consydred. Nor one shulde nat bragge and bost to do more than he maye well atcheue. There be many, whiche with their wordes flee theyr eumyes a great waye of, but whan they se theyr enmye, they put on a sure breste plate and a gorget of a myle of lengthe. Plutarche wryteth, that whan Mem- non made warre for Darius agaynste Alexan- der: he harde one of his souldyours crake and speake many yll wordes agaynst Alexan- der : wherfore he rapte hym on the pate with a iauelynge, sayenge : I hyred the to fyght agaynste Alexandre, and not to crake and prate. Othenvhyle sayth Quintus Curtius the coue- tousnes of glory, and insaciable desire of fame, causeth, that we thynke nothing ouer moche or ouer hard. But Salust saith : Before a man enterprise any feate, he ought fyrst to counsayle : and after to go in hande there with nat heedlynge nor slowly. Shttc&e Sln0toerc0. 31 f 2Df Ijpt ttjat fell of a tre anfl fcrafce Ijtss 1T THERE was a husbande man, whiche on a tyme as he clymbed a tree to gette downe the frute, felle and brake a rybbe in his syde. To comforte hym there came a very merye man, whiche as they talked to gether sayde, he wolde teache hym suche a rule, that if he wold folowe it, he shuld neuer falle from tree more. Marye, sayde the hurte man, I wolde ye hadde taught me that rule before I felle: neuer the lesse bycause it may happe to pro- fyte me in tyme to come, lette me here what it is. Than the other sayd : Take hede, that thou go neuer downe faster, than thou wentest vp, but discende as softly as thou clymmest vp, and so thou shall neuer fall. By this tale ye may note, that abidyng and slownesse otherwhile are good and commend- able, specially in those thynges, wherin spede and hastines, cause great hurte and damage. Seneca saythe, A sodayne thynge is nought. 32 &ale0 anfc f 2Df tljc frier tt>at fcrapue in fci0 Sermon. icjcji. U A FRYER that preached to the people on a tyme, wolde otherwhyle crie out a loude (as the maner of some fooles is) whiche brayenge dyd so moue a woman that stode herynge his sermone, that she wepte. He parceyuyng that, thought in his mynde her conscience being prycked with his wordes, had caused her to wepe. wherfore whan his sermon was done, he called the woman to hym, and asked what was the cause of her wepynge, and whether his wordes moued her to wepe or nat. Forsoth mayster (sayde she) I am a poure wydowe : and whan myne husbande dyed, he lefte me but one asse, whiche gotte parte of my lyuynge, the whiche asse the wolues haue slayne: and nowe whan I hard your hyghe voyce, I remembred my selye asse, for so he was wonte to braye bothe nyghte and daye. And this good mayster caused me to wepe. Thus the lewde brayer, rather than preacher, confuted with his folysshenes, wente his way : which thinkynge for his brayenge lyke an asse to be reputed for the beste preacher, Suic&e anstoeres. 33 deserued well to here hym selfe to be com- pared to an asse. For truely one to suppose hym selfe wyse Is vnto folysshenes the very fyrste gryce. f " CTjc oration of tfjc amliassaBour cent to Pope (Iltbsn. 1T OUT of the towne of Parusyn were sente vpon a tyme thre arabassadours vnto our holye father Pope Urban, whom they founde sycke in his bed. Before whose holynes one of the sayde ambassadours had a longe and a tedious oration, that he had deuysed by the way: the whiche er it was ended, ryght sore anoyed the popes holynesse. whan he hadde all sayde, the pope asked : Is there anye thynge elles ? An other of the thre, perceyuynge howe greately the ambagious tale greued the popes holynes to here it out, sayde, Moost holy father this is all the effecte, and if your holynes spede vs nat forthewith, my felowe shall telle his tale agayne. At whiche sayenge the pope laughed, and caused the ambassadours to be spedde incontinent. By this tale one maye lerne, that super- D 34 Ealrs anfc fluous wordes ought dilygently to be auoyded, specially where a matter is treated before au hygh prince. f SDf t$e aml)a00aDour gent to t$e prince 1F NAT moch vnlike the forsayd tale Plutarche reciteth: that whan the auibassadour of the Abderitees had at laste ended a louge tale to the prynce Agis, he asked what answere he shulde make to them that sent him ? Say vnto them (quod the prince) whan thou comest home, that all the longe tyme that thou didest dispende in tellynge thy tale I sate styll and harde the paciently. c Cfjc anstocre of Clcomnris to rljc ^amicns a mli n eg an our. rrniii. IT PLUTARCHE rehersethe also, that what tyme an ambassadour, that was sente frome the Samiens, had made a longe oration vnto Cleomenis, to perswade him to make warre to Polycrates, he answered the ambassadour on this maner of wyse : I remembre nat, what thou sayddest in the begynnyng of thy tale, Quicftc anstoerra. 35 and therfore I vnderstand nat the rayddis, and thy conclusion pleaseth me nat. Wherby we may perceyue, that the noble wyse men loue fewe wordes. And as the Rhetoriciens say : Amonge the vices of an oratoure, there is none more hurtefull than the superfluous heape of wordes. f >f tfje iupise man Ptgo, ann tys iseruattt. 1F AcERTAYNwise man called Piso, to auoyde greuous ianglynge, commaunded, that his ser- uauntes shulde saye nothinge, but answere to that that thei were demaunded, and no more. Vpon a daye the sayde Piso made a dyner, and sente a seruaunt to desire Clodius the Consull to come and dyne with him. Aboute the houre of diner al the guestes came saue Clodius, for whom they taryed, tyll hit was almoste nyght, and euer sente to loke if he came. At laste Piso sayde to his seruaunt: Diddest thou byd the Consull come to dyner? yes truely sayde he. why cometh he uat than, quod Piso? Mary, quod the seruaunt, he sayde he wolde nat. wherfore toldest me D 2 36 &ale0 anB nat so incontinent, quod Piso ? Bycause, quod the seruaunt, ye dyd nat aske me. By this tale seruauntes may lerne to kepe theyr maisters biddyng: but yet I aduise maysters therby to take hede, howe they make an iniunction. f flDf f&e marc^ant tfjat mane a toager toitf) lotD, V A CERT AY NE marchaunt before his lorde, that he was subiecte vnto, amonge other thynges praysed his wyfe, and sayde, that he neuer harde her lette a *****. wherat the lorde meruailed, and sayd it was impossible : and so layde and ventred a souper with the marchant, that before thre monethes were ended, he shulde here her lette a ***** or twayne. On the morowe the lorde came to the marchaunt and borowed fyfty crownes: the whiche he promysed trewely to repay agayne within viij. dayes after. The mar- chaunt ryght sore agaynst his wylle lent it: and thoughtfully abode tyll the daye of pay- ment was come : and than he wente to his HDuic&e an0toere0, 37 lorde and requyred his moneye. The lorde, makynge as though he had hadde more nede than before : desyred the marchaunt to lende hym other fyftye crownes: and promysed to paye all within a monethe. And all though the good man denyed hit longe, yet for feare lest he shulde lose the first somnie, with moche grutchynge he lente hym the other fyfty crownes. And so wente home to his house ryghte heuye and sorowfull in his mynde. Thus thynkynge and dredynge diuers thynges, he passed many nyghtes awaye with- out slepe. And as he laye wakyng, he harde his wyfe nowe and than rappe out ****. At the monethes ende the lorde sente for the marchant, and asked him, if he neuer sythe harde his wyfe let a farte. The marchant aknoweleginge his folye, answered thus : For- sothe syr if I shulde for euery ***** paye a souper, all my goodes and landes wolde nat suffice therto. After whiche answere the lorde payde the marchant his money, and the mar- chant payde the souper. Here by ye maye se, that many thinges passe by them that slepe, and it is an olde sayenge : 38 Caleo anli He that slepeth, byteth no body. By this tale ye may note also, that they, the whiche for- tune swetelye enbraceth, take theyr reste and slepe soundely : And contrarye wyse, they that ene oppressed with aduersite, watche sorowe- fullye, whan they shulde slepe. This man, which for a very folisshe thing preysed his wyfe, afterwarde whan a lyttel care beganne to crepe aboute his stomacke, he perceiued that faute in her ryght great. The inorall boke, called Cato, counsayleth vs to watche for the more parte: For moche slomber and slepe is the norisshinge of vice. f (Df tfje ftiere tbst gaue scroineg agajwsit t$e pestilence. 1T AMONGE the limitours in the cyte of Tibur- tine, was a certayne friere, which vsed to preache about in the villages to men of the countrey : and for as moch as they greately suspecte that a plague of pestilence shulde come amonge them, he promysed eche of them a lytell scrowe : which he sayde was of suche a vertue, that who so euer bare hit hangynge aboute his necke xv. dayes, shulde nat dye of &uic&e anstocrw. 39 the pestilence. The folisshe people trustynge here vpon, euerye one after his power gaue him money for a scrowe : and with a threde of a maydens spynninge, they hanged hit aboute their neckes. But he charged them, that they shuld nat open it, tyll the xv. dayes ende: for if they did, he sayde, hit had no vertue. So whan the frire hadde gathered moche moneye, he wente his waye. Soone after (as the desyre of folkes is to knowe newes) the sayd scrowes were redde : in which was writen in Italian speche : Donna si fill, et cadeti lo fuso, quando ti pieghi, tieni lo culo chiuso. which is to saye in englysshe : woman if thou spynne, and thy spyndell falle awaye, whan thou stoupest to reache for him, holde thyne **** close. He sayde that this passed all the preceptes and medicines of the phi- sitians. By whiche tale one maye lerne, that all is nat gospell, that suche wanderers about saye, nor euerye worde to be beleued : For often tymes Gelidusjacet anguis in herba. 40 alcs anU f 5Df t$e pljtjJition, t^at bgeD to iujtte fcpfleg oute cue. rrtiiiu. 1T A CERTAYNE phisitian of Italy vsed oner night to write for sondry diseasis diuers billes, called resceitz, and to put them in a bag al to gether: In the morning whan the vrins (as the custome is) were brought to him, and he desired to shewe some remedy : he wolde put his hande in to the bag, and at al auentures take oute a bille : And in takinge oute the bille he wolde say to him that came to seke remedye in their language : Prega dio te la mandi bona. That is to say : Praye God to sende the a good one. By this tale ye may se, that miserable is their state whiche fortune muste helpe and nat reason. Suche a phisitian on a tyme sayde to Pausanias : Thou aylest nothinge. No sayde he, I haue nat had to do with thy phisicke. And an other tyme a frende of his sayde: Syr ye ought not to blame that phisitian : for his phisicke dyd you neuer hurte. Thou say- est trout he, quod he: for if I hadde proued his phisicke, I shulde nat nowe hauc ben alyue. And ageyne to an other that sayde : Syr ye be 3Duic&e an0toere0, 41 an olde man, he answered : yea thou were nat my phisitian. Suche maner checkes are to lyttell for the leude foles, that wyll practise phisicke, before they knowe what longeth to theyr name. f f fym tfiat tootoe confegge !>im ftp H THER was a yonge man on a tyme, which wrote a longe lybell of his synnes, whether he dyd hit for hypocrisy, folysshenesse, or obly- uion I can not say : and whan he shulde con- fesse him, he gaue hit to the confessour to rede: whiche confessor beinge well lerned and experte in that busynes, parceyued hit wolde requyre a longe tyme to rede ouer: wherfore after a fewe wordes he sayde: I assoyle the frome all the synnes conteyned in this lybell : yea but what shall my penaunce be, quod the yonge man: Nothinge els sayde the confessour, but that thou shalte the space of a moneth rede this lybell ouer euery daye vii. tymes. And all thoughe he sayde it was impossyble for him to do, yet the confessour wolde nat chaunge his sentence. By which 42 ale0 ant) mery subtyle answere he confuted the breble brable of the folysshe felowe. By this tale ye may perceyue, that he that occupyeth this office, that is to saye, a confes- sour ought to be discrete, prudent, and well lernedde. This confessour knewe well the ordinaunce of holye churche : whicbe wylleth confession to be made with the mouthe, and nat by wrytynge. f SDf ttjt tiertnite of Panotoe. *T. IT AN hermite of Padow, that was reputed for an holy man, vnder the semblaunce of confes- sion, entyced many of the notablest wyues of the towne vn to folye and lewednes. So at last, whan his offence was dyuulgate and knowen (for hypocrisy can nat longe be hid) he was taken by the prouost, and brought before the prince of Padowe, duke Francis the ^ii. of that name, whiche for his disporte sent for his secretarye, to wryte the woniens names, that the hermite had layen by. whan the hermyte had rehersed manye of the dukes seruauntes wyues, and the secretarye merly laughenge had writen them : he semed as lie 3nstoercs. 43 had al said. Be there any mo sayde the duke] No forsothe said the hermite. Tel vs trouth quod the secretarie, who be mo, or els thou shalte be sharply punisshed. Than the her- myte sighing-e said : Go to write in thin owne wife amonge the nomber of the other, which saienge so sore greued the secretarye, that the penne felle out of his hande and the duke laughed ryght hartily : and sayde it was well done: that he that with so great pleasure harde the fautes of other mennes wyues, shulde come in the same nombre. By this ieste we may lerne, that one ought nat to reioyce at an others grefe or hurte : For lytell woteth a man what hangeth ouer his owne heed. f 2Df tlje (HpIannpfSsrtje man, tljat gaine ttie fepnge. jctt. IT AN vplandysshe man nourysshed in the woddes, came on a tyme to the citie, whanne all the stretes were full of people, and the common voyce amonge them was : The kynge cometh. This rurall manne moued with no- ueltie of that voyce, had great desyre to se, 44 Calcs airtJ what that multitude houed to beholde. So- daynly the kynge, with many nobuls and states before hym, came rydynge royally. Than the people all aboute stedfastly behelde the kynge and cryed aloude : God saue the kynge : God saue the kynge. This villayne herynge them crye so, sayde, O where is the kynge, where is the kynge? Than one shewynge hym the kynge sayde : yonder is he, that rydeth vpon the goodly whyte horse. Is that the Kyn. 1T THERE was a man on a tyme, which toke as moche ware of a raarchaunt, as drewe to fyftie. li. and riottously playde and spente the same awaye within shorte space. So whaune the day of payemente came, he hadde nother moneye nor ware to paye : wherfore he was arrested, and muste come before the Justyce. whan he sawe there was none other remedye, but that he shulde be constrayned eyther to pay the dette, or els to go to prison : wherfore he went to a subtyle man of lawe, and shewed to hym his matter, and desyred hym of his counsayle and helpe. what wylt thou gyue me (quod the man of lawe) if I rydde the of this dette? By my faythe sayde the dettour v. marke : and lo here it is redy, as sone as I am quitte, ye shall haue hit. Good inough quod the man of lawe, but thou muste be ruled by ray counsaile, and thus do. whan thou comest SDuic&e an0toere0, 49 before the Justice, what som euer be sayd vnto the, loke that thou answere to nothing, but cry bea styl : and lette me alone with the reste. Content quod he. So whan they were com before the Justice, he said to the dettour: doste thou owe this marchant this somme of money or no? Bea quod he. what beste (quod the Justice) answere to thy plaint, orels thou wilte be condemned. Bea, quod he agayne. Than his man of lawe stode forth, and sayd. Sir this man is but an ideot, who wolde beleue that this marchaunt, whiche is both wyse and sub- tyle, wolde truste this ideot, that can speke neuer a redy worde of xl. peny worth of ware : and so with suche reasons he perswaded the Justyce to caste the marchaunt in his owne action. So whan the sentence was gyuen, the man of lawe drewe the dettour asyde and said : Lo, howe sayst thou nowe 1 Haue not I done well for the ? Thou arte clere quitte of the dette that was demanded of the, wherfore giue me my money, and God be with the. Bea, quod he. what quod the laweer, thou 50 Sales anti nedest not to crie bea no longer, thy matter is dispatched, all is at a poynt, there rested) nothynge, but to gyue me my wages, that thou promysyddest. Bea quod he agayne. I saye quod the man of lawe, crie bea no longer nowe, but gyue me my money. Bea quod he. Thus the man of lawe neyther for fayre nor foule coulde gette any other thinge of his client but Bea. wherfore all angerly he de- parted and went his waye. By this tale ye may perceyue, that they whiche be the inuenters and diuisers of fraude and disceit, ben often tymes therby deceyued them selfe. And he that hath hyd a snare to attrap an other with, hath hym selfe ben taken therin. T <3Df rije fooman tfiat appdeB fro fepng Plnttp to fepttge Philippe, jclm. 1[ A WOMAN whiche gyltlesse on a tyme was condempned by kynge Philippe of Macedone, whan he was not sobre. wherfore she sayde I appele. whether quod the kynge : To kynge Philippe quod she: but that is whan he is Qutcfcc anatoerca, 51 more sobre and better aduysed. wliiche say- enge caused the kynge to loke better on the matter, and to do her ryght. This wryteth Val. Maximus. But Plutarche sayth : It was a man, and kynge Philip was halfe a slepe, whan he gaue sentence. f SDf t$e cine tooman, riiat pjapne fo? tfje toelfarc of rtc tpjant Dentge. jcfoti. IF WHAT tyme Denyse the tyranne raygned, for his cruelte and intollerable dealynge he was hated of all che cite of Syracuse, and euery body wysshed his dethe, saue one olde woman, the whiche euery morning praid God to saue him in good life and heltli. whan he vnderstode that that she so dyd, he meruailed greatly at her vndeserued beniuolence. wher- fore he sente for her, and asked, why and howe he had deserued, that she prayde for hym? She answered and sayd: I do it nat with out a cause. For whan I was a mayde, we had a tyran raignynge ouer vs : whose death I greatly desyred, whan he was slayne, there succided an other yet more cruell than E 2 52 ocratt0 ann Ijtss 1f LAERTIUS wryteth, that the wyse man Socrates had a coursed scoldinge wyfe, called Xantippe, the whiche on a day after she hadde all to chydde him powred a pysse potte on his heed. He takynge all paciently sayde : Dyd nat I tell you, that whan I herde Xan- tippe thonder so fast, that it wold rayne anone after. Wherby ye maye se, that the wyser a man is, the more pacience he taketh. The wyse poet Virgil sayth: All fortune by suffrance must be ouercome. 54 alrs anD f f t&e pljigttian rfjat tare '{jig paricntc on tie fjat) eaten an assc. f. IT A PHISITIAN, which had but smalle lern- ing, vsed whan he came to viset his pacientes to touche the pulce, and if any appayred, he wolde lay the blame on the paciente and beare him on hande, that he did eate fygges, apples, or some other thinge that he forbade: and bicause the pacientes other whyle confessed the same: they thought he had ben a very connynge man. His seruantc hadde great maruayle, howe he parceyued that: and de- syred his mayster to telle hym, whether he knewe hit by touching of the pulce, orels by some other hygher knowlege. Than sayde his mayster, for the good seruice that thou haste done me, I wyll open to the this secrete point, whan I come in to the pacientes cham- ber, I loke al a bout: and if I spye in the flore shales, parynge of chese, of aples, or of peares, or any other scrappes : anone I con- iecte, that the paciente both eaten therof. And so to thende I wold be blameles, I lay the faute on theyr mysdiettynge. c.uic&e Snetoercc. 55 Nat longe after the same seruaunte toke on hym to practise physike : whiche in lyke maner blamed his pacientes : and sayde, that they kepte nat the diete, that he gaue them : and he bare them on hande that they yete some what, wherof he sawe the scrappes in the flore. On a tyme he cam to a poure man of the countre, and promysed to make him hole, if he wolde be gouerned after him : and so gaue him to drinke 1 wote nat what, and went his waye tyll an the morowe. whan he came agayne, he founde the man sicker than euer he was. The rude fole, nat knowinge the cause, behelde here an there aboute : and whan he coude se no skrappes, nor par- ynges, he was sore troubled in his mynde. So at the last he espied a saddel vnder the bed. Than said he all a loude, that he hadde at length parceyued, howe the sicke man en- payred : He hath so excessiuely passed diete (quod he) that I wonder he is nat deed. How so quod they ? Marye quod he, ye haue made him to eate an holle asse : Lo, where the saddell lyethe yet vnder the bedde. For he 56 ale0 anB thoughte the saddell had be lefte of the asse, as bones are of fleshe. For which folysshnes he was well laughed to skorne and mocked. Thus as a good faythfull phisitian is worthy of greate honour : for truely of hym depend- ethe the greattest parte of mans helthe: so lyke wyse a folysshe and an vnlerned, that thynkethe to cure with wordes, that he ought to do with herbes, is nat onely worthy to be deryded and mocked, but also punysshed: for nothinge is more perillous. f SDf rte tn^olnerss tojfe ana $et it. lottery. It. 11 N ERE vnto Florence dwelled an inholder, whos wyfe was nat very dangerous of her tayle. Vpon a nyghte as she was a bed with one of her louers, there came a nother to haue lyen with her. whan she herde him come vp the ladder, she met him, and bade hym go thence, for she hadde no tyme than to fulfylle his pleasure. But for all her wordes he wolde nat go a waye, but stylle preaced to come in. So longe they stode chydinge, that the good man came vpon them, and asked them why Quic&e 3nstocrco. 57 they brauled so. The woman nat unprouyded of a disceytefull answere sayde : Syr this man wolde come in per force, to slee or myschiefe an other, that is fled in to our house for suc- coure : and hitherto I haue kepte him backe. whan he, that was within, herde her saye so, he beganne to plucke vp his harte and say, he wold be a wreked on him withoute. And he that was withoute made a face, as he wolde kylle him that was within. The folysshe man her husbande, enquered the cause of theyr debate, and toke vpon him to sette them at one. And so the good sely man spake and made the pese betwene them both, yea and farther he gaue them a gallon of wyne: addynge to his wiues aduoutry the losse of his wine. f SDf tipnt t^at TiealeB fratuicfce men. lit. H THERE dwelled a man in Italy, whiche vsed to heale men, that were franticke, on this maner. He had within his house a gutter, or a ditche full of water: wherin he wold put them, some to the middell legge, some to the 58 &ale8 anU knee, and some dypper, as they were madde. So one that was well amended, and wente aboute the house to do one thinge and other for his meate, as he stbde on a tyme at the gate, lokinge in to the strete, he sawe a gentyll man ryde t>y with a great sorte of haukes and houndes : the which he called to him and said : you gentyll man whither go ye ? On huntynge, quod the gentyll man. what do you with all those kytes and dogges, quod he? They be haukes and houndes, quod the gentyll man. wherfore kepe you them, quod the other? For my pleasure, quod the geutyl man. what costeth it you a yere to kepe them, quod the other? xl. duckettes, quod the gentyll man. And what do they profytte you, quod he? Foure duckettes quod the geutyll man. Gette the lyghtlye hense, quod the madde man : for if my mayster come and fynde the here: he wyll put the in to the gutter vp to the throte. This tale toucheth suche yonge gentyll menne, that dispende ouer moche good on haukes, houndes, and other trifils. SHiicfie anstoercs, 59 f 9Df t)jmt tfjat jsa^Be tie teas* not toortljjj to open t$e gate to ttje fepnge. Hit. IT As a kynge of Englande hunted on a tyme in the countie of Kent, he hapte to come rydynge to a great gate : wherby stode a hus- bande man of the countrey, to whom the kynge sayd: Good felowe putte open the gate. The man perceyuynge it was the kynge, sayde: No and please your grace, I am nat worthy : but I wyll go fetche mayster Couper, that dwelleth nat past ij. myles hense, and he shal open to you the gate. 1" 2Df master dlauagour ann 3Furpin $10 man. (nit. If MAYSTER Vauasour some tyme a iudge of Englande hadde a seruaunt with hym called Turpin : whiche had done hym seruyce many yeres, wherfore he came vnto his mayster on a tyme, and sayde to hym on this wyse : Syr I haue done you seruice longe, wherfore I pray you gyue me somwhat to helpe me in myn old age. Turpin, quod he, thou sayst trouthe, and hereon I haue thought many a tyme: I wyll tell the, what thou shalt do. Nowe GO alea atvo shortly I must ride vp to London, and if thou wilt beare my costis thether : I wyll surely gyue the suche a thing, that shall be worth to the an hundred pounde. I ana contente, quod Turpin. So all the waye as he rode Turpin payd his costis, tyll they came to theyr last lodginge: and there after souper he cam to his mayster and sayde : Sir I haue born your costes hitherto, as ye badde me : nowe I pray you let me se, what thynge hit is, that shulde be worthe an hundred pounde to me. Dyd I promise the suche a thinge, quod his maister ? ye forsoth, quod Turpin. Shewe me thy wryt- inge, quod maister Vauasour. I haue none, sayde Turpin. Than thou arte lyke to haue nothinge sayde his maister. And lerne this at me : whan so euer thou makest a bargayne with a man, loke that thou take sure wrytynge, and be well ware howe thou makest a wryt- ynge to any man. This poynte hath vayled me an hundred pounde in my dayes : and so hit may the. whan Turpin sawe there was none other remedy, he helde him selfe con- tente. On the inorowe Turpin taryed a lytelle behynde bis mayster to reken with the hostes, Duic6c anstoercfl. 61 where they laye : and of her he borowed so moche money on his maysters skarlet cloke, as drewe to all the costes that they spente by the waye. Mayster Vauasour had nat ryden past ii. myle but that it began to rayne : wber- fore he calledde for his cloke : his other ser- uauntes saide, Turpin was behinde and had hit with him. So they houedde vnder a tre tylle Turpin ouer toke them, whan he was come mayster Vauasour all angerly sayde: Thou knaue, why comest thou nat aweye with my cloke. Syr and please you, quod Turpin, I haue layde hit to gage for your costes al the waye. why knaue, quod his mayster, diddiste thou nat promyse to beare my charges to London. Dyd I quod Turpin? ye, quod his mayster that thou diddest. Let se, shew me your wrytinge therof quod Turpin. wherto his mayster I tbinke answered but lytell. f SDf $jmt t$at (Sought Tnss topfe gtretne. to. 1T A MAN the whose wyfe, as she came ouer a bridg fell in to the ryuer and was drowned : wherfore he wente and sought for her vpward anti against the stream, wherat his neighboures, that wente with hym, maruayled, and sayde he dyd nought, he shulde go seke her downe- warde with the streame. Naye quod he, I am sure I shall neuer fynde her that waye: For she was so waywarde and so contrary to euery thynge, while she lyuedde, that I knowe very well nowe she is deed, she wyll go a gaynste the streame. f 9Df trtnt ttjat at a sifcpjin^e BefenBen f)im tot'tfj Ijig feet. Ifti. If A LUST YE yonge gentyll man of France that on a tyme was at a skyrmysshe, and defended him selfe valyantly with his feet, came in to the courte, in to a chambre amonge ladies, with a goodly ringe vpon his fynger: to whom a fayre lady sayde : Syr, why weare ye that rynge vpon your fynger? wherfore aske you madame, quod he? Bycause (sayde she) your feet dyd you better seruice than your handes at the last skyrmysshe that ye were at. By this tale yonge men may lerne to beare them well and valyantly for drede of reproche. 63 Better it is with worshyp to dye than with shame to lyue: albe hit that Demosthenes sayde: He that fleethe cometh agayne to batayle. If flDf f)ttn tftat tooftie g^ue a gonge for Ijis Opncr. ftiti. 1T THERE came a felowe on a tyme in to a tauerne, and called for meate. So whan he had well dyned : the tauerner came to reken and to haue his money : to whom the felowe sayde, he had no money, but I wyll, quod he, contente you with songes. Naye quod the tauerner, I nede no songes, I must haue money, whye, quod the felowe, if I synge a songe to your pleasure, will ye nat than be contente ? yes quod the tauerner. So he began and songe thre or foure balades, and asked if he were pleased ? No sayde the tauerner. Than he opened his pourse, and beganne to synge thus : Whan you baue dyned make no delaye But paye your oste, and go your waye. Dothe this songe please you, quod he? yes marye sayd the tauerner this pleaseth me well. 64 ale0 anu Than, as couenaut was (quod the felowe) ye be paide for your vitaile. And so he departed and wente his wave. This tale shewetb, that a man may be to hastye in makynge of a bargayne and coue- nantynge : and therfore a man ought to take good hede, what he sayth : for one worde may bynde a man to great inconuenience, if the matter be weighty. f 9Df tlie foole ttjat ttjougljt tym gelfe Deen. Ituu. 11 THERE was a felowe dwellynge at Florence, called Nigniaca, whiche was nat verye wyse, nor all a foole, but merye and iocunde. A sorte of yonge men for to laughe and pastyme, appoynted to gether, to make hym beleue that he was sycke. So whan they were agreed, howe they wolde do, one of them mette hym in the moruynge, as he came out of his house, . and bad him good inorowe, and than asked him if he were nat yl at ease ? No quod the foole, I ayle nothynge I thanke God. By my faith ye haue a sickely pale colour, quod the other, and wente his waye. Anone after an other of them mette hym, 65 and asked hym if he had nat an ague, for your face and colour (quod he) sheweth that ye be very sycke. Than the foole beganne a lyttel to doubt, whether he were sycke or no, for he halfe beleued, that they sayd trouth. whan he had gone a lytel farther, the thyrde man inette hym, and sayde : Jesu manne, what do you out of your bed ? ye loke as ye wolde nat lyue an houre to an ende. Nowe he doubted greatly, and thought verily in his mynde, that he had hadde some sharpe ague : wherfore he stode styll and wolde go no further. And as he stode the fourth man came, and sayde : Jesu man, what dost thou here, and arte so sycke 1 Gette the home to thy bedde: for I parceyue thou canste nat lyue an houre to an ende. Than the foles harte beganne to feynte, and prayde this laste man that came to hym, to helpe hym home : yes quod he, I wyll do as moche for the, as for myn owne brother. So home he brought hym, and layde hym in his bed : and than he fared with hym selfe, as thoughe he wolde gyue vp the gooste. Forth with came the other felowes, and saide he hadde well done to lay hym in his bedde. anti Anoue after came one, whiche toke on hym to be a pbisitiaii : whiche touchynge the pulse, sayde the malady was so vehement, that he coulde nat lyue an houre. So they standynge aboute the bedde, sayde one to an other: Nowe he gothe his waye : for his speche and syght fayle him : by and by he wyll yelde vp the goste. Therfore lette vs close his eyes, and laye his handes a crosse, and cary hym forth to be buryed. And than they sayde lamentynge one to an other : O what a losse liaue we of this good felowe our frende? The foole laye stylle, as one were deade : yea and thought in his mynde, that he was deade in dede. So they layde hym on a here, and carved hym through the cite. And whan any body asked them what they caryed, they sayd the corps of Nigniaca to his graue. And euer as they went people drew about them. Among the prece ther was a tauerners boy, the whiche whan he herde that it was the cors of Nigniaca, he said to them : O what a vile bestly knaue, and what a stronge thefe is deed, by the masse he was well worthy to haue ben hanged longe ago. whan the fole harde those SQutc&e an0toere0. 67 wordes, he put out his heed and sayd : I wys horeson, if I were alyue nowe, as I am deed, I wolde proue the a false Iyer to thy face. They that caryed hym began to laugh so hartilye, that they sette downe the bere, and wente theyr waye. By this tale ye maye se, what the perswasion of many doth. Certaynly he is very wyse, that is nat inclined to foly, if he be stered therevnto by a multitude, yet sapience is founde in fewe persones : and they be lyghtly olde sobre men. f 3Df t$e cine man ann $i$ gontte rtjat fyougfit $10 ngcc to tijc toUmc to spile, (it. 1T AN olde man on a tyme, and a lyttell boye his sonne droue a litel asse before them, whiche he purposed to sylle at the markette towne, that they went to. And bicause he so dyd, the folkes that wrought by the way syde, blamed hym. wherfore he set vp his sonne, and went hym selfe on fote. Other that sawe that, called hym foole, by cause he lette the yonge boye ryde, and he beynge so aged to goo a foote. Than he toke downe the boye, F 2 68 &ales anU and Icpte vp and rode hym selfe. whanne he hadde rydden a lyttell waye, he harde other that blamed hym, bycause he made the lyttell yonge boye ronne after as a seruaunte, and he his father to ryde. Than he sette vppe the boye behynde hym, and so rode forthe. Anone he mette with other, that asked hym if the asse were his owne : By whiche wordes he coniected, that he did nat wel so to ouer- charge the lyttell sely asse, that vnethe was able to beare one. Thus he troubled with their dyuers and manyfolde opinions : whiche neither with his asse vacant, nor he alone, nor his sonne alone, nor bothe to gether rydyng at ones on the asse, coulde passe forth with out detraction and blame: wherfore at last he bounde the asse feet to gether, and put through a staffe, and so he and his sonne began to beare the asse betwene them on their shulders to the towne. The nouelte of whiche syght caused euery body to laughe and blame the folysshe- nes of them both. The sely olde man was so sore agreued, that as he sat and rested hym on a ryuers syde, he threwe his asse in to the water. And so whan he had drowned his asse, S&wcfie aiwtoere** 69 he tourned home agayne. Thus the good man desyrynge to please euerye bodye, contentynge none at all, loste his asse. By this tale appereth playnelye, that they whiche commyt them selfe to the opinion of the common people, ben oppressed with great myserye and seruage : For how is it possible to please all, whan euerye man hath a dyuers opinion, and dyuerslye iudgeth 1 And that was well knowen to the poet, whan he sayde, Scinditur incertum studia in contraria vulgus. And as Cicero, Persius, and Flaccus say : As many men so many myndes : as many heedes so many wyttes. That, that pleaseth one, displeaseth an other: Fewe alowe that that they loue nat : and that that a man alow- eth, he thynketh good. Therfore the beste is, that euery man lyue well, as a good Christen man shulde, and care nat for the vayne wordes, and ianglynge of the people. For bablynge (as Plutarchus sayth) is a greuous disease, and harde to be remedied. For that that shulde heale it (which is wordes of wisdome) cureth them that harkneth there vnto: but pratlers wille here none but them selfe. 70 (Sales anU if 2Df fcim tfat gougfit Jjtg a00e ana rone on tjig fcacfce. If. 1[ THERE was in the countrey of Florence an husbande man, that vsed to carye corne to the market vpon many lytell asses. On a time as he came home warde, bycause he was some- what werye, to ease him selfe, he rode on one the strongest of them. And as he rode dryu- / inge his asses before him, he counted them, and forgot the asse that he rode on : wherfore he thought still that he lacked one. Thus sore troubled in his mynde, he bad his wyfe set vp his asses, and hastily rode agayne backe to the towne vii. myles of, to seke the asse, that he rode on. He asked of euery body that he met, if they sawe an asse straye alone, whan he herde euery bodye saye they sawe none suche, makynge great sorowe he re- tourned home agayne. At laste whan he was alyghted his wyfe parceyued and shewedde hym playnlye, that the asse, that he rode on, was the same that he soughte and made suche sorowe fore. This ieste may be well applied vnto suche as note the defautes, that they lyghtly spy in 71 other, and take none hede, nor can nat se what ils they haue or bene spotted with them selfe. f Cfje attiStoere of jFafctug to JLiuwu. Ijch 1T WHAN Anniball the capitayne of Cartage had conquered Tarent (a towne perteinyng to the Roraayns) all saue the castell, and had lefte a garnison to kepe it, whan the worthy Romayne Fabius had knowelege therof, he pryuely conducted an armye thether, and got the towne agayne, and pylled it. Than M. Liuius that kepte the castell with a garnison, sayde bostynge him selfe, that Fabius had gotte the towne through him and his helpe. you saye trouth, quod Fabius, for if you had nat loste the towne, I shulde neuer haue gotte hit. f tsr&e angtoete of poTttg, tfje fepttge of 'SEijjace, to tfje Ctopan cmbassaDo^. licit. 11 PLUTARCHE lyke wyse reherseth, that du- rynge the warre of Troy, the grekes and also the troians sente ambassadours to a kynge 'of Thrace calledde Poltis, whiche kynge 72 ale0 ana answered th ambassadours and bade, that Alexandre shulde delyuer agayne Helayne (for she was the cause of the warre) and he wolde gyue him ii. fayre wyues for her. f fTje topge atiistoert of ^atttial to fepnge d)tif rte toomatt tliat cottctB ^et T)n anu ssljetocD %et taile. Ijcfcu IT As a woman that for a certayne impedi- ments had shaued her heed sat in her house bare heed, one of her neighbours called her forth hastely into the strete, and for haste she forgotte to putte on her kerchefe. when her neighbour sawe her so she blamed her for cominge abrode bare heed: wherfore she whypte vp her clothes ouer her heed, and so to couer her bed she shewed her ***. They that stode by, beganne to laugh at her fol- ysshenes, whiche to hyde a lytell faute shewed a greatter. This tale touchethe them, that wolde couer a smalle offence with a greatter wyckednesse, and as the prouerbe saythe: Stomble at a strawe, and leape ouer a blocke. 76 Z&lce anti f Ipotoe Scantier baas! monpggfieli to $ltt tl)t tfiat $e mette. Ijim. 1T WHAN great Alexander wolde entre in to Perse lande with his armye, he counsayled with Apollo of his good spede : and by lotte he was warned, that he shulde cominaunde to slee the fyrst that he mette, whan he issued out at a gate. Perchaunce the fyrste that he mette, was a man dryuynge an asse before IIMII. Incontinent the kyng comraaunded to take and put hym to dethe. whan the poore man sawe that they wolde slee him, he said : what haue I done : Shall I that am an innocent be putte to deathe 1 Alexander to excuse his dede, sayde : He was warned by diuine moni- tion to commaunde to slee the fyrste, that he mette cotnynge out at that gate. If it be so myghty kyng (quod the man) than the lotte dyuine hath ordeyued an other to suffre this deth and not me : For the lytel asse, that I droue before me, mette you fyrste. Whiche subtyle sayenge greatly pleased Alexander: for elles he had done amysse: and so he caused the beaste to be slayne. 9in0toere0 77 By this tale one may note, that it is better sometyme to be laste than fyrste. f tyotoe t$e cite of JUmsiac toass sfaueo from Begttucttott. IT As great Alexander on a tyme was fully purposed to haue vtterly distroyed a great cite, called Lamsac, he sawe his mayster Anaximenes come towarde him without the walles : and bicause the kynge perceyued manifestlye, that he came to entreate hym for the cite, he sware a great othe, that he wolde nat do, that that he came to desyre hym fore. Than Anaximenes sayde : Sir I desyre your grace, that this same cite Lampsac may be vtterly distroyed. Through which sage and subtile sayeng the noble auncient citie was saued from ruyne and destruction. f J^otoe Demogrijeneg uefenBen a majne. Ijcijc. 51 THERE were two men on a time, the whiche lefte a great somrae of money in kepyng with a maiden, on this condition, that she shulde nat delyuer hit agayne, excepte they came bothe to gether for hit. Nat long after one 78 &alee ana of them cam to hir mornyngly arayde, and sayde that his felowe was deed, and so required the money, and she delyuered it to by in. Shortly after came the tother man, and required to haue the moiieye that was lefte with her in kepyng, The maiden was than so sorowfull, both for lacke of the money, and for one to defende her cause, that she thought to hange her selfe. But Demosthenes that excellent oratour spake for her and sayd : Sir this mayden is redy to quite her fidelite, and to deliuer agayne the money, that was lefte with her in kepynge, so that thou wylt brynge thy felowe with the to resceyue it. But that he coude nat do. f Cf !)tm tljat DC GtrcD to &e mane a gcntif man. Irr. 1f THERE was a rude clubbysshe felowe, that longe had serued the duke of Orliance, wher- fore he cam on a tyme to the duke, and desired to be made a gentyll man. To whom the duke answered : In good feyth I may well make the ryche, but as for gentyl man I can neuer make the. S&uicfie an0toere0. 79 By which wordes appereth that goodes and riches do not make a gentyl man, but noble and vertuous conditions do. f SDf tT)t gent^H man ann !jt0 g^retoDe topfe. Ijtjf. 1T THERE was a certayne gentyll man, that had a cursed chydynge wyfe, that wente euery day, and complayned on hym to a religious man, the whiche religious man toke vpon hym by weye of confession to reconcile and accorde them to gether : and the gentyll man was very well contente, that he so shulde do, and came to him therfore. whan the gentyll man was come, the religious man badde hym shewe his ofFenceg and trespaces. No, quod the gentyll man that nedeth nat : For I knowe verye well my wyfe hath shewed vnto you all the offences that euer I dyd, and moche more. f SDf t$e ttoo ponge men tljat roue to toaluimij* fjam. (rut. U ONE John, Roynoldes rode oute of London vpon a tyme towarde walsyngham, in company of a yonge man of the same cite, that hadde nat moche ben accustomed to ryde. So they 80 ale0 anu came to an Inne, where as great companye was lodged. And in the mornynge whan euery man made hym redy to ryde, and some were on horsebacke setting forwarde, John Roy- noldes founde his companion, syttynge in a browne study at the Inne gate : to whom he sayd : For shame man how syttest thou, why doste thou nat make the redy to horsebacke, that we myght sette forwarde with compauye : I tary (quod he) for a good cause. For what cause, quod Roynoldes 1 Marye (quod he) here be so many horses, that I can nat telle whiche is rayne owne amonge the other, And I knowe well, whan euery man is riden and gone, the horse that remaineth behynde must nedes be myn. f Of t'Oc ponge man of T3?uge0, ann Ijis spousf. Itriit. 51 A YONGE man of Bruges, that was be- trouthed to a fayre mayden, came on a tyme, whan her mother was out of the way, and had to do with her. whan her mother was come in, anone she perceyued by her doughters chere, what she had done, wherfore she was dutc&e anstocres. 81 so sore displesed, that she sewed a diuorse, and wolde in no vvyse sufFre that the youge man shulde marye her daughter. Nat longe after the same yonge man was maryed to an other mayden of the same parysshe. And as he and his wyfe satte talk- ynge on a tyme of the forsayde dammusell, to whome he was betrouthed, he fell in a nyce laughyng. wherat laugh ye quod his wyfe? It chaunced on a tyme (quod he) that she and I dydde suche a thyng to gether, and she tolde hit to her mother. Therin (quod his wyfe) she playde the foole: A seruante of my fathers playde that game with me an hundred tymes, and yet I neuer tolde my mother, whan he herde her saye so, he lefte his nyce laughynge. f 2Df t)i>m tTjat mane as le Ratine icn a djasite Ipuer. Ijcjrim. 1T A FELOWE that toke vpon him, as he had ben the moste chaste and beste disposed man lyuinge, was by one of his felowes on a tyme taken in aduoutry : and sharpely rebuked for it, bycause he prated so moche of chastite, G 82 ale0 ant) and yet was taken in the same faute. To whom he answerde againe : O fool doste thou thinke that I did hit for bodely pleasure ? No no: I dyd it but onely to subdue my flesshe, and to purge my reynes. Wherby ye may perceyue, that of all other dissemblyuge hipocrytes are the worste. f fl)f tym tljat tfce olne roouc fell on. tot. 11 As a man kneled vpon a tyme prayenge before an olde rode, the rode felle downe on him and brak his hede: wherfore he wolde come no more in the churche halfe a yere after. At lengthe by the prouocation of his nighbours, he cam to the churche agayne. And bycause he sawe his nighbours knele be- fore the same rode, he kneled downe lyke wyse and sayde thus : well I may cappe and knele to the, but thou shalte ueuer haue myn harte agayne as long as I lyue. By whiche tale appereth, that by gentyll and courteyse entreatinge mens myndes ben opteyned. For though the people cappe and knele to one in highe authorite, yet lyttell whoteth he, what they thynke. HUuicfie 8nstom0 83 f 2Df t^e topDoto ttjat toolBe nat toeDBe pleasure. Tttfoi. 1T THERE was a ryche wydowe, whiche de- syredde a gossyp of hers, that she wold get her an husband : nat for the nyce playe quod she, but to thentente he may kepe my goodes to gether, whiche is an harde thinge for me to do, beynge alone woman. Her gossyp whiche vnderstode her conceyte, promysed her so to do. Aboute iii. or iiii. dayes after she came to her agayne, and sayde: Gossyp, I haue founde an husbande for you, that is a pru- dente, a ware, and a wordlye wyse man, but he lacketh his priuey members : wherof ye force nat. Go to the dyuell with that hus- bande (quod the wydowe) for though that I desyre nat the nyce playe: yet I wylle that myne husbande shall haue that, where with we may be reconciled, if we falle at variance. f 9Df t^e couetoug amfcaj-KJoiwur, t^at toolne Ijere no nwistfee. 1F WHAN a couetous man on a time was come vnto a certain cite, whither he was sent as am- bassadour for his contrey, anon the mynstrels G 2 84 alc0 anfc of the cite came to him to til his eares with swete din, to thintente he shuld fyl their purses with money. But he perceyuynge that, bad one of his seruauntes go and telle them, that he coulde nat than intende to here their niusicke, but he muste demene great sorow, for his mother was deed. So the minstrels disapointed of theyr purpose all sadlye wente theyr waye. And w r han a worshipfull man of the cite, that was his frende, herd tell of his mourning, he came to visete and comforte him. And so in talkynge together he asked, howe longe a go it was that his mother de- ceased? Truelye (quod he) hit is xl. yere a go. Than his frende, vnderstandinge his sub- tilte, beganne to laughe hartely. This tale is aplyed to the couetous men, whiclie by al crafte and meanes study to kepe and encreace theyr money and substance. Agaynst whiche vyce, many thinges ben wryten. As farre (sayth one) is that frome a couetous man, that he hath, as that he hath nat. And Diogenes calleth couetousnes, the heed of al yuels. And saynt Hieronyme calleth couetousnes the rote of all yuels. And Guie&e an0toere0 85 for an example, the tale folowinge shall be of couetousnes. f $oto Demise tlje titant geraeD a cottetoug matt. 1F IT was shewed to Denise the tyran, that a couetous man of the cite had hyd a great some of money in the gronnde, and lyued moste wretchedly: wherfore he sente for the man, and commaunded him to go dyg vp the money, and so to deliuer it vnto him. The man obeyed, and delyuered vnto the tyran all the golde and treasure that he hadde, saue a small some, that he priuelye kepte a syde : where with he wente in to an other cite, and forsoke Syracuse: and there bought a lytell lande, where vpon he lyued. whan the tyran vnder- stode that he hadde so done, he sent for him agayne. And whan he was come, the tyran sayde to him : Syth thou haste lerned nowe to vse well thy goodes, and nat to kepe them vnprofytably, I wyll restore them all to the agayne. And so he dyd. 8C ale0 anu f 9Df tije cine man, tljat quenjereu t^e top ottte f ttje apletree tottlj etonc.3. Irrr. 1T As an olde man walked on a tyme in his orcherd he loked vp, and sawe a boye sytte in a tree stealynge his apples : whom he entreated with fayre wordes to come downe, and let his apples alone. And whan the olde man sawe, that the boye cared nat for him, by cause of his age, and set noughte by his wordes, he sayde : I haue harde saye, that nat onlye in wordes, but also in herbes shulde be greatte vertue : wb,erfore he plucked vp herbes, and beganne to throwe them at the boye, wherat the boye laughed hartelye, and thought that the olde man hadde ben mad, to thynke to driue hym out of the tree with castinge of herbes. Than the olde man sayde : well se- ynge that nother wordes nor herbes haue no vertue agaynste the stealer of my goodes: I wylle proue what stones wylle do, in whiche I haue harde men saye, is great vertue : and so he gathered his lappe full of stones, and threwe them at the boye, and compelled hym to come downe, and renne awaye. SUuie&e arwtoerea* 87 This tale sheweth, that they that bene wyse proue many wayes, before they arme them. f SDf tlje rpcfie man tljat toolne not Ijatte a glpgter. IT THERE was a certayn riche man on a tyme, whiche felle sycke : to the whose curynge came many phisitians (for flyes by heapes flee to honye). Amouge them all there was one that sayde : that he muste nedes take a glyster, if he wolde be nolle, whan the sicke man, that was nat envred with that medicine, harde hym saye so, he sayde in a great furye : Out a dores with those phisitians they be madde : For where as my payne is in my heed, they wolde heale me in myne ****. This fable sheweth that holsom thynges to them that lacke knowlege and experyence, seme hurtfull. f SDf t)pm tljat fepnen t)?m sidfe Been to pjoue toljat l)i$ topfc toolne DO. 1[ A YONGE marled man on a time to proue, to here, and to se what his wyfe wolde do, if he were deed, came in to his house, whyle his 88 &alc0 anU wyfe was forthe wasshynge of clothes, and layd hyra dowue in the floore, as he liad ben deed, whan his wyfe came in, and sawe hym lye so, she thought he had ben deed in dede : wher- fore she stode euen stylle : and deuysed with her selfe whether was better to bewayle his dethe forth with, or els to dyne fyrste, for she had eate no meate of all the day. All other thinges consydered she determined to dyne fyrste. So she cut a coloppe of baken, and broyled it on the coles, and began to eate theron a pace, she was so hungrye, that she toke no hede of drynke. At laste the salte- nes of the meate made her to thyrste so sore, that she muste nedes drynke. So as she toke the potte in her hande, and was goyng downe into her seller to drawe drynke, sodaynely came one of her neyghbours for a cole a fyre. wherfore she stepped backe quickely, and though she was right thyrsty, yet she sette the potte a syde, and as her husbande had than fallen downe deed, she beganne to wepe, and with many lamentable wordes to bewayle his dethe. whiche wepynge and waylyug, and sodaine dethe of her husbande, caused all the Sutiicfee anstocrcs. 89 neyghbours to come thyther. The man laye stylle in the floore, and so helde his brethe, and closed his eies, that he semed for certayne to be deade. At laste whanne he thought he had made pastyme inough, and herynge his wyfe saye thus : Alas dere husbande what shall I do nowe ? He loked vp and sayde : Full yll my swete wyfe, excepte ye go quyckely and drynke. wherwith they al from wepyng, tourned to laughynge, specially whan they vnderstode the matter, and the cause of her thyrste. Wherby ye may se, that nat without a good skyl the poete sayde : Utfiereni oculos erudiere sues. f SDf i$t pottre man, into intjosie tiouge ttjeueis fyafee ip npgljte. Ijcjcjcttt. H THERE was a poore man on a tytne, the whiche vnto theues, that brake into his house on nyght, he sayde on this wyse. Syrs I mar- uayle, that ye thynke to fynde any thyng here by nyght, for I ensure you I can fynd nothing, whan it is brode day. By this tale appereth playnly That pouerte is a welthy mysery. Cslca anti T Of lipm ttiat srtjuftjc Tjatie lien tjangeB for ty gcoffpngc. fojciiu. 1T THERE was a mery felowe in hygh Alraayn, the wbicbe with his scoffynge and iestynge had so moche displeased a great lorde of the countreye, that he thretned to hange hym, if euer he coude take hym in his countrey. Nat longe after this lordes seruauntes toke hym, and hanged he shulde be. whanne he sawe there was no remedy but that lie shulde dye, he sayde: My lorde, I muste nedes suffre dethe, whiche I knowe I haue wel deserued : But yet I beseke you graunte me one peticion for my soule helthe. The lorde, at the in- staunce of the people that stode aboute, so it dydde not concerne his lyfe, was contente to graunte it hym. Than the felowe sayde: I desyre you my lorde, that after I am hanged, to come iii. mornynges fresshe and fastynge, and kysse me on the bare ****. where vnto the lorde answered: The deuyll kysse thyne ****: and so let hym go. Cuicftc anotocrcs. 91 f 2>f fy>m ttiat tjan 1)tg googe stole. Ijrjcjcb. 1T A MAN that had a goose stoole from hyra, went and complayned to the curate, and de- syred hym to do so rnoche as helpe that he had his goose again. The curate sayde he wolde. So on sonday the curate as though he wolde curse, wente vp in to the pulpit, and bade euery body syt downe : So whan they were set, he said : why sit ye nat downe 1 we be set all redy, quod they. Naye (quod the curate) he that dyd stele the goose sitteth nat, yes that I do, quod he, Sayste thou that, quod the curate ? I charge the on peyne of cursyng, to bryng the goose home ageyn. f 2Df ttje tegger tTiat ssapB %e teas fcpn to fepttg J3"i)iU}) of iSaccBcmc. {ttrit. 1T THERE came a begger to kyng Philip of Macedone on a lyme, and prayde the kyng to gyue hym some what, and farther he sayde he was his kynse man. And whan the kyng asked hym which way, he answered and sayde, howe they came bothe of Adam. Than the kynge commanded to gyue hym an almes. whan the begger sawe it was but a small pece of moueye, 92 Zal(0 ant) he sayde, that was nat a semely gyfte for a kynge. The kynge answered : If I shuld gyue euerye manne so raoche, that is ray kynse manne lyke as thou arte : I shulde leaue nothynge for my selfe. f 2>f 35ante$f angtoete to tlje teuter. 1F DANTES the poete dwelled a whyle with Can the prince de la Scale : with whome also dwelled an other Florentyne, that hadde ney- ther lernynge nor prudence, and was a man mete for nothynge, but to scoffe and ieste : but yet with his mery toyes, he so moued the sayd Can, that he dydde greatly enryche hyra. And bycause Dantes dispised his foolysshenes, this scoffer said to hym : How cometh it Dantes, that thou art holde so wyse and so well lerned, and yet arte poore and nedy? I am an vnlerned man and am an ignorant fole, and yet I am farre richer than thou art. To whom Dantes answered : If I may fynde a lorde lyke and conformable to my maners, as thou haste founde to thyn : he wyll lyke wyse make me ryche. T.uic&e 3nstDErc0. 93 1i 2Df tym tljat tian gore epeg, 51 ONE that had sore eies, was warned of the phisitian, that he shulde in any wyse forbeare drinking or els lose his eies: To whom he sayd : It is more pleasure for me, to lose myne eies with drinkynge, than to kepe them for wormes to eate them oute. By this tale ye may perceyue, that it auayl- eth nat to warne some for theyr owne profytte. * SDf rtic ottie foomatt ttjat fiaD gore epeg. 1T THERE was an olde woman the whiche bar- gayned with a surgean to heale her sore eyes : and whanne he hadde made her eies hole, and that she sawe better she couenaunted that he shulde be payde his moneye, and not before. So he layde a medycyne to her eyes, that shulde not be taken awaye the space of v. dayes. In whiche tyme she myghte nat loke vppe. Euery daye, whan he came to dresse her, he bare awaye some what of her house holde stouffe, table clothes candelstickes, and disshes: He lefte no thinge, that he coulde 94 Sales ant) carye dene. So whan her eies were hole, she loked vp, and sawe that her householde stouffe was caryede awaye, she sayde to the surgian, that came and required his money for his labour : Syr my promise was to pay you, whan ye made me se better than I did before : That is trouth, quod he. Mary, quod she, but I se worse nowe than I did. Before ye layde me- dicins to rnyn eies, I saw moche fayre stouffe in myn house, and now I se nothinge at all. f 2Df $pm tfjat $aD tlje custoDt of a toatue. jtc. fT A CERTAYN man, that had the custody of a ward and his goodes, and in shorte space had spente all awaye : was by the gouernour of the cite commanded to bring in his bookes of In- troitus et exitus, that is to saye, of entraunce and layenge oute: and to gyue accompte of the Orphlins goodes. So whan he came, he shewed fyrste his mouthe, and sayde Here it wente in: and after he shewed vp his ****, and sayde: Here hit wente out: and other bookes of Introitus et exitus I haue none. uic&e anstoeree. 95 f 9Df tfje excellent painter, rbat fjau foule IT THERE was a peinter in Rome that was an excellent counnynge man : and bycause he had foule children, One sayde to him: By my feyth I maruayle that you paynte so goodelye, and gette so foule chyldren: yea, quod the peynter, I make my chyldren in the darke, and I peynte those fygures by daye lyght. f SDf ttic (Scoffer tljat maue a man a stoutft jcctu H THERE was a mery scoffynge felowe on a tyme, the whiche toke on him to teach a man to be a south sayer : whan they were agreedde, what he shuld haue for his labour : the scoffer sayde to the man holde, eate this rounde pellet, and I warant thou shalte be a south sayer. The man toke and put it in his mouth, and began to champe theron, but hit sauered so ill, that he spyt it out forth with, and said : Phy, this pellet that thou gyueste me to eate, sauereth all of a *****; Thou sayst trouth (quod the scoffer) Nowe thou arte a south sayer, and therefore paye me my money. 06 Calfs snU f 25f tlje ntarrtjaunt of JFIotencc catteD Charles*, rcifi. If A MARCH AD NT of Florence called Charles, came frome Auignone to Rome : And as he sate at souper with a great company, one asked him how the Florentins at Auignone fared : he sayde they were merye and gladde. For they that dwelle there a yere (quod he) be as men that were franticke and out of theyr myndes. Than an other that sate at souper with them asked this Charles, how longe he had dwelled there. He answerde vi. monethes. Charles (quod he that asked him the question) thou haste a great wytte: For hit, that other be about xii. monethes, thou hast fulfilled in halfe a yere. f Of tfee cljegjcrtjire ntan caHeU Culjm. jrctitt. IT THER dwelled a man in Chesshyre called Eulyn, whiche vsed to go to the towne many tymes, and there he wolde sytte drynkyng tyl xii. of the clocke at nyghte, and than go home. So on a tyme he caryed a lyttell boye his sonue on his shulder with him, and whan the chylde fell a slepe about ix. of the clocke, QuickC anstoeres, 97 the ale wyfe brought him to bed with her chyldren. At mydnyghte Eulyn wente home, and thought no more on his chylde. Assoue as he came home his wyfe asked for her chyld. whan she spake of the chylde he loked on his shulder, and whan he sawe he was not ther, he said he wist nat where he was. Out vpon the horson (quod she) thou hast let mi child fal in to the water (for he passed ouer the water of Dee at a brige) Thou list hore (quod he) for if he had fallen in to the water, I shuld haue hard him plump. f SDf Iitm t'fjat oesircu to fa get Upon tfjc piflojt. jciK IF THERE were iii. loytteringe felowes fell in companye on a tyme: the whiche wente so longe to gether tylle all theyr money was spente. whan their money was gone, one of them sayd: what shal we do now? By my faith (quod an other) if I might come where preace of people were, I coulde get moneye inough for vs. And I (quod the iii.) can as- semble people to gether lyghtly. So whan they came in to a lyttelle towne, where a newe H 98 pillory was sette vp, he that sayde he coude lyghtly assemble people to gether, went to the bayly of the towne, whiche was a boucher, and desyred him, that he wolde gyue him leaue to haue the maidenheed of the pyllory. whiche requeste at the fyrste abasshed the bayllye : for he wyst not what he mente ther- by : wherfore he toke counsayle of his neigh- bours, what was best to do, and they bade him set vp the knaue and spare nat. So whan he was on the pillorye, he loked aboute, and sawe his ii. felowes busy in the holes of the bouchers aprons, wher thei vsed to put theyr money : than he said : Ther now go to a pace. The people gaped vp styll and laughed, and whan he saw that his felowes had sped their maters, and were going away, he said to the peple : Now turne the pilori ones about and than I wyl com downe: So they laughing hartily did, whan the felow was com downe from the pyllory, the baylie sayde to hym : By my faythe thou arte a good felowe, and by cause thou haste made vs so good sporte, holde I wyll gyue the a grote to drynke : and sf> putte his hande in the hole of his apron, 90 but there he founde neuer a penye: Cockes armes (quod the bayllye) my pourse is pycked, and my moneye is gone. Syr (quod the felowe) I truste ye wyll beare me recorde, that I haue hit nat. No by the masse quod he, thou were on the pyllorie the whyle. Than no force quod the felow, and wente his waye. f S5f tlje iupijotoess Daughter rijat toag gent to t^e abbot Unti) a couple of capons, tctii. 1T THERE was an abbot that had a wydowe to his tenant, which wydow on a tyme sent her doughter with a couple of capons to the abbotte. And whan the mayden came with her present, she founde the abbot syttyng at dyner, to whom she sayd : Moch good dutte the my lorde. Ha welcome mayden quod he. My lorde (quod she) my mother hath sent the here a couple of capons. God a mercy may- den, quod he. And so he made her to be sette downe atte his owne table to eate some meate. Auaonge other meates, the abbotte had than a grene goose with sorell sauce, wherof he dyd eate. So one that sat at the abbottes table, gaue the rompe of the goose to the mayde to picke H 2 100 Calf0 anH theron. She toke the rompe in her hande, and bycause she sawe the abbot and other wete their meate in the sorell sauce, she sayde. My lorde, I pray the gyue me leue to wete myn **** in thy grene sauce. f SDf t$e ttoo men, ttiat Branfee a pjmte of tot)i>te tovne to getter, iccsrii. 1F THERE came two homely men of the coun- treye in to a tauerne on a tyme to drinke a pynte of wine. So they satte stylle, and wyste not what wyne to calle for. At last, herynge euerye man call for white wyne as clere as water of the rocke, They bad the drawer brynge them a pynte of whyte wyne as clere as water of the rocke. The drawer seyng and perceyuyng by their wordes that they were but blont felowes, he brought them a pinte of clere water. The one of them fylled the cuppe, and dranke to his felow, and sayd : Holde neighbour, by masse, chadde as lefe drynke water, saue only for the name of wyne. 101 f ffl)f rte Doctout ttjat ioent tottt) t$e fouler to catdic lipj&cg. cttu. 1f THERE was a doctour on a tyme, whiche desired a fouler, that went to catche byrdes with an owle, that he might go with hym. The byrder was content, and dressed hym with bowes, and set hym by his oule, and bad hym say nothynge. whan he saw the byrdes a lyght a pace, he sayde : There be many byrdes alyghted, drawe thy nettes : where with the byrdes flewe awaye. The byrder was very angry, and blamed him greatly for his speak- yng. Than he promysed to holde his peace, whan the byrder was in agayn, and many byrdes were alyghted, mayster doctour said in latyn, Aves ptrmulte adsunt. wherwith the byrdes flewe away. The byrder came out ryghte angrye and sore displeased and sayde : that by his bablynge, he had twyse loste his pray, why thynkest thou foole (quod the doctour) that the birdes do vnderstand latin 1 This doctour thought that the vnderstand- ynge, and nat the noyse hadde feared awaye the byrdes. 102 ale0 anti f SDf fjpm tljat tnflertofce to teac^e an ag0e to teue. fctic. 1f THERE was a certayne tyran, the which to pylle one of his subiectes of his goodes, com- maunded hym to teache an asse to spelle and rede. He sayd it was impossible, except he might haue space inough therto. And whan the tyran bade hym aske what tyme he wolde, he desyred x. yeres respite. But yet bycause he vndertoke a thynge impossible, euerye bodye laughed hym to scorne. He tourned towarde his frendes and sayde : I am nothynge affrayde : for in that space, either I, the asse, or elles my lorde may dye. By whiche tale appereth, that it is holsome to take leyser inough, aboute a thynge that is harde to do, specially whanne a man can nat chose to take hit on hande. f 2Df tlje ftjer ttjat confegjseB t^e tooman. c. H As a fayre yong woman of the towne of Amilie confessed her to a friere, he beganne to burne so in concupiscence of the flesshe, that he entyced her to consente to his wylle. And they agreed, that she shulde feyne her selfe Cuic&e an0tocrc0. 103 sycke, and sende for hyin to shryue her. within iij. dayes after she feyned her selfe sycke, and laye downe in her bedde, and sente for the same fryere to shryue her. whan the friere was come, and euery body voided out of the chambre, he went to bedde to the woman, and there laye a longe space with her. Her husbande suspectyng so longe a confession, came in to the chaumbre: whose sodayne comynge, so sore abasshed the fryer, that he went his way and lefte his breche behynde him lyenge on the bedde. whan her husbande sawe the breche, he sayd a loude: This was nat a frier, but an aduouterer : And for great abbomi- nation of the dede he called all his householde to se hit. And fortlie with he went and com- playned to the warden of that couent: and thretned to slee hym, that had done the dede. The wardyen to appease his anger sayde, that suche publysshynge was to the shame of hym and his householde. The man said : the breche was so openly founde, that he coude nat hyde it, The warden to remedy the matter sayde, it was saynt Fraunces breche, an holy relyke, that his brother caryed thither for the womans 104 alrs anti helth, and that he and his couent wolde come and fetche hit home with procession, with those wordes the man was contente. Anone the warden and his frieres, with the crosse be- fore them, and arayed in holye vestementes, went to the house and toke vppe the breche, and two of them on a clothe of sylke, bare it solemlye on hyghe betwene theyr handes : and euerye bodye that mette them, kneled downe and kyssed it. So with great ceremony and songe : they brought it home to their couente. But after whanne this was knowen, ambassa- doures of the same citie, wente and complayned therof before the holy see apostolyke. f Dotor a djapkn of llottcn nercrurt) an ct. 11 IN the towne of Louen was a chaplayne called Antonye, of whose merye sayenges and doynges is moche talkynge. As he mette on a daye one or two of his acqueyntaunce, he desyred them home with him to dyner : but meate had he none, nor money. There was no remedy, but to make a shefte. Forth he goth, and in to an vserers kytchynne, with 105 whome he was famylier : and priueilye vnder his gowne he caryed oute the potte with meate, that was sod for the vsurers dyner. whan he came home, he putte oute the meate, and made the pot to be scoured bryght, and sente a boye with the same pot to the vserer to borowe ii. grotes theron : and bade the boye take a bylle of his hande, that suche a brasse potte he de- lyuered hym. The boy did as he was bydde : and with the money that he hadde of the vsurer, he bought wine for theyr dyner. whan the vsurer shulde go to dyner, the potte and meate was gone, wherfore he all to chydde his mayde. She said there came no bodye of all the daye, but syr Antony. They asked him : and he sayde he had none. At length they sayde in erneste, he and no man els had the pot. By my fayth (quod he) I borowed suche a potte vpon a tyme, but I sente hit home agayne: and so called witnes to them, and sayde : Lo howe peryllous it is to deale with men nowe a dayes withoute wrytynge : They wolde lay thefte to my charge, and if I had no wrytinge of the vsurers hande. And 106 alcc ann so he shewed oute the wry tinge. And whan they vnderstode the disceyte, there was good laughynge. Cf d)c game r'fjaplcn ann one ttjat optten Ijim. cii. 1F THE same Antony dyned on a tyme with a sorte of merye felowes. Amonge whome there was one that greatly spited him in his scofTes and merye iestes. And as they sate laugh- ynge and sporting, one asked whiche was the most reuerent part of mans bodye, one sayd the eie, an other the nose, but Antony, bycause he knew his enuyer wolde name the clene con- trarye, sayde the mouth was the moste reue- rent parte : Naye quod his enuyer, the parte that we sytte on is the moste reuerent. And bicause they meruayled whye, he made this reason, that he was moste honourable amonge the common people, that was fyrst sette. And the parte that he named was fyrste sette. whiche sayenge contented them, and they laughed merelye : He was nat a littell proude of his sayenge, and that he hadde ouer come an0toerec. 107 Antonye. This past forth, four or fyue claycs after they were bothe bydde to dyner in a nother place, whan Antony cam in he found his enuier that sat talkynge with other, whyle the diner was makynge redy. Antony tourned his backe to him and lette a great ***** agaynst his face. His enuyer greatlye dis- dayninge sayde: walke knaue with a mys- chiefe, where hast thou ben nourtered. why, and dysdaynest thou 1 quod Antony, if I had saluted the with my mouthe, thou woldest haue saluted me agayne : and nowe I grete the with that parte of my body, that by thyn owne sayenge is moste honourable, thou callest me knaue. Thus he got agayne his praise, that he hadde loste before. f 2Df ttje olue man rtjst pttt Tjim gdfe in %i& gonnesi TjanBes. cttu 1F THERE was a certayne olde man, whiche let his sonne to mary, and to brynge his wyfe and his chyldren, to dwelle within him, and to take all the house in to his owne hande and gydinge. So a certeyne tyme the olde man 108 &ale0 ana was sette and kepte the vpper ende of the table, aftenvarde they sette him lower, aboute the myddes of the table, thyrdely they set him at the nether ende of the table, fourthly he was set amonge the seruantes, fyfthly they made him a couche behynde the halle dore, and cast on him an olde sacke clothe. Nat longe after the olde man died, whan he was deed, the yonge mans sonne came to him and sayde : Father I prey you gyue me this olde sacke cloth, that was wonte to couer my graundfather, what woldest thou do with it sayde his father ? forsoth, sayd the chylde, it shall serue to couer you whan ye be olde, lyke as it did my grandfather. At whiche wordes of the chylde this man ought to haue ben a shamed and sory. For it is wryten. Sonne reuerence and helpe thy father in his olde age, and make him not thoughtful! and heuy in his lyfe, and though he dote, forgyue it him. He that honoreth his father, shall lyue the longer, and shall reioyce in his owne chyldren. SDuicfec 3n0toeres. 109 Of t)t>m rtjat IjaD a flpe pqmtefl i cttti. 1T A YONGE man that on a tyme went a war- fare, caused a flye to be peynted in his shylde, euen of the very greatnes of a flye : wherfore some laughed at him and sayde, ye do well, because ye wyll not be knowen. yes quod he, I do it because I wyll be knowen and spoken of. For I wyll approch so nere our enemys, that they shall well decerne what armes I beare. Thus it that was layde to him for a blame of cowardise, was by his sharpe wytte turued to a shewe of manlynes. 1T And the noble and valiaunt Archidamus sayde shotte of crossebowes, slynges, and suche lyke ingins of warre are no proffe of manhode, but whan they come and fyghte hande to hande, appereth who be men and who be not. f SDf t$ emperour aagugtug anu t$e olnc men. cfo. II As the noble emperour Augustus on a time cam in to a bayne, he behelde an olde man 110 &ale0 anD that hadde done good seruice in the warres, frotte him selfe a gaynste a marble pyller for lacke of one to helpe to wasshe him, th erope- rour moued with pile gaue an annuite to fynde hym and a seruaunt to wayte vpon him. whan this was knowen a great sorte of olde men drewe them to gether, and stode where as the emperour shulde passe forth by, euerye one of them rubbynge his owne backe with a marble stone. The emperour demaunded why they dyd so? Bycause noble emperour, sayd they, we be not able to kepe seruantes to do it. why quod the emperour, one of you maye clawe and frote an others backe well inough. f ]91)octon0 ozatton to tfje 3rf>en0. tin. 1T PHOCION on a daye treatynge a longe ora- tion to the people of Athenes, plesed them very wel. And whan he sawe, that they all to gether allowed his wordes, he tourned to his frendes and sayd. Haue I vnwarely spoken any hurte 1 So moche he perswaded hym selfe, that nothyng coude plese them that was well and truely spoken. H&uic&e anstoere0, 111 f SDf JDcmofJtljeneg ana Phocion. cbti. 1F DEMOSTHENES sayde to Phocion: If the Atheniens falle ones in a madnes, they woll slee the. To whom he answered : ye surely, if they waxe madde they woll slee me, but and they waxe ones wyse, they wyll slee the. For Demosthenes spake inoche to the peoples pleasure, and spake thynges rather delytable than holsome. ; Of jafjocion tfjat tefutico cimt. If WHAT tyme Alexander kynge of Macedone sent an hundred besauntes of golde for a gyfte to Phocion, he asked them that brought the money, how it came, that Alexander sent it to hym alone, seyng there were many other men in Athenes beside him. They answered, by- cause he iugeth you alone to be an honest and a good man. Therfore, quod he, let hym suffre me to be taken and to be suche one styll. Who wolde not wonder at the cleane and 112 ftales am> vncorrupt courage of this Phocion? He was but a poore man, and yet the greatnes of the gyft coude nothinge moue liym. Besyde also he shewed, that they, the whiche, while they mynistre the common welthe, absteyne not from takyng of gyftes, neyther be nor ought not to be taken for good men. f f Denude tf&e tp?anne ana lite ffonne. cfjc, fl WHAT tyine Denyse the tyranne vnderstode that his sonne that shulde reigne after hym, had commytted aduoutry with a worshypfull mans wyfe, angerly he sayde to hym, Dyd I, thy father, euer suche a dede? The yonge man answered. No, ye had not a kynge to your father. Nor thou, sayde Denyse, art not lyke to haue a sonne a kynge, excepte thou leaue commyttynge of suche wyckedde dedes. H >f Pompotiiu0 tTjc Somapne, tljat toasi fyougljt before 93itlmDatcs. c.r. 11 POMPONIUS a noble man of Rome, sore hurte and wounded, was taken and brought before Mithridates, whiche asked hym this uicfie anstorrrc. 113 questyon. If I cure and heale thy woundes, wylte thou than be my frende : He answered hym agayne thus. If thou wylle be a frende to the Romaynes, thou shall than haue me thy frende. This was a noble stomacke, that preferred the welth of his countrey before his owne helth. f SDf Citu0 ann ttje tegtcr. cju IF SUETONIUS sheweth that Titus the father prouoked a scoffer, that stode iesting with euery body, that he shulde lyke wyse saye somewhat to hym : I woll, sayde the scoffer, after ye haue done youre easement. He iested at the emperours countinance, he loked alway as one that streyned hym selfe. On suche a visaged man writeth Martiall. Utere lactucis, ac mollibus utere maluis. Nam faciem durum Phebe cacantis habes. f SDf cipio Haistca anu Cnniug tf)t poete. cjcti. H WHAN Scipio Nasica came on a tyme to speake with Ennius the Poete, he asked his mayde at the dore, if he were within, and she i 114 Calcs anD sayde, he was not at home. But Nasica per- cey/ued, that her mayster badde her say so, and that he was withiii: but for that tyme dissemblynge the matter, he wente his waye. within a fewe dayes after Ennius came to Nasica, and knockynge at the dore, asked if he were within. Nasica hym selfe spake oute a loude, and sayd, he was not at home. Than sayde Ennius. what nianne, thynke you that I knowe not your voyce ? wherevnto Nasica aunsweredde and sayde. what a dishoneste man be you ? whan I sought you, I beleued your mayde, that sayde ye were not at home, and ye wyll not beleue me myn owne selfe. T SDf JFattu0 $9tnutmj-f, ann T)i$ gotine. cjctu. H FABIUS Minutius was of his sonne exhorted on a tyrae to gette and conquere a place that was mete for them, and to theyr great auaun- tage : the whiche thynge he sayde, they myght do with the losse of a fewe men. wyll ye be one of those fewe, sayde Fabius to his sonne? Therby shewynge, that it is a poynt of a SDuic&e an0toere0 115 good capiteyne to care for the lest of his souldiours, and to saue them as nere as he coude. Themperour Antonius Pius loued raoche this sentence of Scipio, whiche wolde ofte saye : I hadde leauer saue one citezen, thanne slee a thousande ennemyes. Of flurclian, that toaS nigpIcascB, Iwattgc tljc cite {JTpna iuas closet) agavnsit tjvm. ctitti. IT WHAT tyme the emperour Aurelian came to the cytie Tyana, he founde hit closed agaynste liyiu, wherfore all angerly he sayde: I woll not leaue a dogge a lyue in this towne. wbiche wordes reioyced moche his menne of warre, by cause of the great praye and botye, that they thoughte to wynne there. One of the citezins, called Heradamon, for feare lest he shuld be slayne amonge the other, betrayed the cyte. whan Aurelian had taken the cite, the fyrste thinge he dyd, he slewe Heradamon the traytour to his contrey. And to his soul- diors, that came to hym and desyred, that they myght accordynge to his promyse, ouer- 1 16 Cairo ant) Suic&e ren and spoile the cyte, he answered : Go to, I sayde, I wolde nat leaue a dogge a lyue, spare nat, kyll al the dogges in the towne. Bv this meane the gentyl prince, rewarded the traytoure accordinge to his de- seruinge, and dispointed the couetise of his soul- dyours. 3mprinteti at JLonBon in JHete >trcte in tfce Tjousfe of ^Ttiomas TSerttjcIct ttete to tijc Cunuite, at tf;c of JLucrecr. r (um ptitiilcgio. I REPRINTED BY C. WHITTINGHAM, AT THE CHISW1CK PRESS. M DCCC XIV. JEST BOOK. PART II. That 1 was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of Tin Hundred Merry Tales; Well, this was Signor Benedick that aaid so. Much Ado about Nothing. Act 2. St. 1- CHISWICK: FROM THE PRESS OF C. WHITTINGHAM. M DCCC XV. TO THE REV. J. J. CONYBEARE, BY WHOM THIS CURIOUS FRAGMENT OF THE FIRST ENGLISH JEST BOOK WAS RESCUED FROM OBLIVION, THE PRESENT LIMITED REIMPRES8ION, INTENDED FOR A SELECT LITERARY CIRCLE, IS DEDICATED, BY HIS OBLIGED AND FAITHFUL SERVANT, THE EDITOR. ADVERTISEMENT. IT has happened to us, as it frequently does to those who build their theories upon any other than direct proof; a simple fact, or the recovery of a mislaid document, at once overthrows all speculation. While we were busily engaged in endeavouring to show that a little book printed by Berthelet had some claim to be honoured with the title of Shak- speare's Jest Book, a most amiable and accomplished scholar had by chance disco- vered a considerable fragment of another collection of stories, under the title of " A C. Mery Talys" Thus demonstrating the fallacy of our conjecture, as well as those of Mr. Steevens and Mr. Reed. All future editors of Shakspeare may now rest satisfied, that the book alluded to in Much Ado viii SH)terti0ement, about Nothing, is neither a translation of the Decameron of Boccaccio, nor of the Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles. This curious and important addition to the stock of Shakspeariana, had been con- verted into pasteboard which formed the covers of an old book ; in its transformation it has suffered much, the tops of many leaves, the bottoms of others are wanting, and of some only a tattered fragment remains. This will account for the lacuna which so frequently occur in the following reprint, for we have only ventured to fill them up when the necessary words were tolerably obvious ; and whenever it has been done, such words and passages are distinguished by being printed in Italics. Fortunately the title, the greater part of the table of contents, and a portion of the colophon were preserved, together with some part of every leaf, and of almost every tale. It was a favourable circumstance, that the pasteboards had been formed from more than one copy, so that of some of the earlier leaves there were duplicates, which greatly assisted in making out the stories; but these fail us in the middle of the fortieth tale, as will be readily perceived by the much more imperfect state of many which follow. Like the " Tales and Quicke Answeres," this appears to have been a collection from various foreign books of the same nature, rather than a translation from any particular one. It is upon the whole inferior to Ber- thelet's collection, but fortunately less ex- ceptionable upon the score of decency; there are two or three laughable stories o which have very much an air of originality ; the principal source of amusement, however, is the naivete with which they are related. Many of the stories might be traced to their sources; the second in particular may be mentioned as existing in the Decameron of Boccaccio, in which it is the seventh novel of the seventh day. We have also recently found it in a curious MS. treatise on the Art of speaking French, written in the reign of Henry the Sixth*, which shows the early * " lei comence un tretis de douls franceis qu' enfor- mera aussi ban les petiz comme les granz a parler bien et parfaitement beau franceis selon 1'usage et laman- niere de paris et aurilians." T have thought the story from the MS. worth printing: it is subjoined to this advertisement. popularity of that extraordinary book; unless we suppose that both Boccaccio and the author of this MS. copied from a Fabliau. That this was the case is indeed most pro- bable; but Sacchetti*, who wrote about the middle of the fourteenth century, mentions that the Decameron had then already been translated into French and English. The following collection most probably takes precedence of the Tales and Quicke Answeres, which were printed by Berthelet about the years 1530-4; for John Rastell began to print at least as early as 1517, and ceased in 1533. Its form and appearance also corroborate this supposition; it is a small folio, consisting of twenty-four leaves, including the title and table ; the signatures run from a. to f ii. in gatherings of four leaves, or two sheets ; the type is the usual broad- faced black letter common to the books of this printer and his cotemporaries. The device of Rastell, and the colophon, are on the reverse of the last leaf. We have ventured to call this " Shak- speare's Jest Book," to which title it has a * In the Fruhemio to his novels. a&tertisement. xi better claim than the former little volume; but the manner in which it is mentioned by Shakspeare, manifests the contempt he en- tertained for it. That there were subsequent editions cannot be doubted. Warton cites, from the Stationers' Books, a licence to John Waley, in 1,557, to print " a hundreth mery tayles;" and we find it referred to by various writers during the latter part of the sixteenth century. In the preface to " A brief e Intro- duction to the true Art of Mustek by William Bathe, printed at London by Abel Jejfes, 1584," it is thus noted, "But for the worthi- nesse I thought it not to be doubted, seeing here one set forth a booke of a hundred mery tales; another of the battaile betw ? eene the spider and the fly; another De Pugnis Porcorum; and other such like fictions." It is also mentioned in the Nice Valour of Beaumont and Fletcher ; and was one of the books enumerated by Laneham*, as forming * "A letter whearin part of the entertainment untoo the queenz raaiesty at Killingworth castl, in Warwick sheer, in this soomerz progress 1575, is signified." In this curious performance is given a list of the principal books of amusement of that period, which were all in the collection of this redonbted captain. x part of the collection of Capt. Cox, the mason of Coventry. The .punctuation and orthography, sin- gular and capricious as it is, has been scru- pulously followed; a few of the most uncommon words have been noted, and explanations annexed to them, are given in the next page. No apology can be necessary for renew- ing, this curious specimen of one of the most popular books of amusement of. our ancestors; "no moral danger can be sus- pected from the perusal of such antiquated licentiousness. The mischief is unfor- tunately too readily to be found, by those who seek it, in a shape far more intelligible and alluring." S. W. S. Page Lite ASSOYLE, absolve 42 13 BOGET, budget 43 21 CAUSE BOBE, toast cheese .... 100 9 DRAUGHT, privy 37 21 HAYE, } C 8 7 5- a net, haie. Fr. . . . < A HEY, > ^ {. 5 16 INCONTINENT, immediately ... 31 8 JAPED, v. Palsgrave, in his Eclair- cissement de la Langue Francoise 40 13 KNAKKED, cracked 24 13 KNAKKING, cracking 24 17 MALE, a wallet, portmanteau ... 43 xiv (Sloasarp. f uf < Line NONYS, nonce, purpose, occasion . 48 1 NYGGYN, nigard, stingy fellow . . 45 18 PAGEANTYS, pageants, pranks . . 53 15 PORLEWS, purlieus 43 8 POULYS, Paul's 53 13 RYME, dogrel, nonsense 731-17 SEGE BORD, seat 38 13 SOUTER, a cobler 99 t***it. SPARRY D, sparrd, shut ...... 6 20 To LESE, to lose 10 4 WARKES, works 48 4 WENYTH, thinketh } 35 5 WENT, weend, thought .... 3 XV THE story referred to at page ix. is introduced in tlie ancient MS. Art of speaking French in the following manner: a gentleman and his servant arrive at an inn in the evening ; the gentleman invites the mistress of the inn to supper, and after supper " Le seignor et le dame de Vhostel sen iront seoir pres de le feu. Doncques dit le seignor, mamie ie rous enpri qu'il ne vous desplayst point del de le compt que ie vous compterai maintenant, car vrayment ie ne rous diray pnynt de mensonge, et vrayment mamie il est la plus ni meilleur compt que toy oncques mays iours-de ma tie. Ore man seignor ie lorray trcs volentiers a vostre comandement. De par dieu doncques ie vous la dirai. Jadis y hanet en Kent vne dame bian gentil et sage, qui passoit toutes les autres dames de eel pays la aussi bian de beautee comme de bontee. Enfant celle dame auoit vn baron qui fut moult ban chetalier et taillant, ainsi yl ly auoyt vn ecuyer demiiurant en lour hostel qui fuyt bian iolict on cuer, et estoit aussi homme de bonfacon et beauLr, et si bian et gentilment taillie de corps que ce fut mer- uaillez. Et si auynt un iourz que oil escuyer ci comme il regardoit sur la dame de hostel, que le corps et le cuer luy fertnt trestout eux anoyeez pour le grant brasier damour qu'il en ot deuers la dame, enlant qu'il ne sauoit que dire ne que faire, si endura de iour en out re trcs grandez pamez et douleurs. Puis il pensa bian que son amour ne pouoit estre aperceu, et soujfrist de tristece et douleur ou cuer, que nuyt ne iour nepouoyt il mye dormir. Si fut il naufreez trex piteusement de la lance damour bian pres a la mart. Si aduint a derrayntez que I'escuier sen ala purler a la dame tout a secret ainsi li disant. Ma tres gentile tres amable et ires soueraine dame, fist il, ie vous enpri tres entierement de cuer, qu'il ne tous desplaise dece queje vous en dira maintenant: de par dieu fist elle me dites vous tant quoncquez vous vuellez et ie non parlerai ia iour de ma uie ne vous sourcies. Ore dame, XVI ft*t il, mais qu'il ne vous desplaise, ie sui si doloreuaement nanfree uit cour de lardant amour, que pieca lay eu et encore ai detiters vows, que ie ne puys pas longment en- durer sanz consolation de tostre tres graciouse personne. Par quay ma tres doulce dame, fist il, eiez pitie de ma douleur, on aultrement nuts seres cause de ma mart. Doucques dist la dame, est ce coir que tous en auez tan damor enuers moi comme tous ditez. Par mon sei-ment, fist il, belle tres doulce dame si est. Ore fist elle, ie vous octroie mamour, mays pour acomplir nostre desir plus priueement, ietous dirai commant tous feres: rous sauez bian que mon seigneur propose de chiualcher hors de la villt demayn apres manger, et pour ce alez demander mayntenant congee de luy pour aler a tos amys qui demeurent en ce pais id pour certain bon seignes que tous en auez affaire, et quant tous laurez fait, pour luy deceiuer plus soubtilment, ie rous consaille que tous en alez sur tostre chemin, mais demain a nuyt quant il fera grant oscurtee, retournez si priuement comme touspoures, et venez a ma chambre par Ie huys du Jardin tn poy deuant my nuyt pour coucher auecques may. Lors dis I't'scuier, ma tresgentille damt ie rous remercy souterayn- ment de cuer, de tostre amour et courtoisie, et puys apres quant I'escuier en auoit congee de seigneur pour aler a ses amys, si en ala bian matin a la ioumant. Et apres manger Ie seignor commanda ses tarletz de seller li chiuaulx plu lit ou la dame coucha, la dame luy prinst par la main ainsi luy disant en son oraille: ne sonez rous motfist elle, pour Hulle chose de monde, mais escouttez tout bian a ce que ie tous diray. Doncques la dame si' tounta deutrt XV 11 son seignor pour luy euueylier,et quant ilfut euueyliee la dame lay dist ainsi. Mon seignor fist die, il ya un escuier demourant envostre court c'il qui demanda congee de vous hyer soir, qiti ma parlee et requis d'amour pour coucher avecques moy, et se vous ne le croyez mye, leuez sus tout et vestez vows en ma robe et appareilliez vous a maniere et guise de moy, et alez vous a verger et latendez unpoy, etvous verez maintenant comment ilvenrademen ravoyer. Doncques le seignor se commenca pour estre marri, et dist; que dea est ce voir que tu dis vraiment. Mon seignor fist elle, si est. LOTS le seignor se leua bian vigoreusement comme un homme forsennez, et se restoit comme la dame luy auoit apris, et puts sen a/a tres fort courant deuers le verger, de prouver ce que la dame luy avoit comptee. Doncques dist la dame a I'escuier tout ainsi: monamy fist elle, nauez rous point de talent pour esbatre auecques moy. Par mon serment ma tres doulce dame fist yl, ie suit si desconfis et paoureux ou cuer, que ie nay plus, dappetit ne voulantee pour esbatire avec rous, que vn petit enfant que nentent poynt de mal. Ore fist elle, faites tous tne chose que ie vous diray, et vous en aures mamour as tous jors mays deuant tous les autres de monde sans faire changemeni. Par nostre dame de Bouloigne fist il, ie le feray tres uolontiers se ie le pourray. Maintenant fist elle, prenez un bon boston et alez vous au verger, et la vous trouverez mon seignor arraiez a ma maniere et guyse de moy, et battez luy bian et donnez luy des bons hoi-ions sur le dos, ainsi luy disant, raten a ton lit maluai.se putaigne que tu es, vaten de par le deable et de par sa mere ou tout, ou aultrement ie te rumperai le col deuant que tu te bou- geras de cy. Car rraymentfist elle se vousjaytes ainsi il naura oncques mays apres male suspecion de nous, et en tel maniere nous pourrons faire tout nostre desir en temps auenir, bian et priuement sanz escient de lui ou d'aucun aultre. Si dieux mait ma tres graciouse dame fist il, ie men yray voulantiers pour vostre comandement acomplir. Et quant il fut venu ou verger, il regardoit le seignor comme le grant deables, luy donant des hourions tres bian assis, si comme la dame luy auoyt comandee, ainsi luy parlant comme il fut apris pardeuant. Et tost apres If b neignor se cura biun igncllement a sa chambre, ft puts dist le scignw a la dame ainsi. Dame fat il, cil escuyer de quay rotis me parlates, ma tres malement battu, car il cuydoit que rous ifustez, par quoy ie say bian qu'il esi bum loyalx a vous et a may, et pour ce it rousferay tres bian acorder, car cequ'il afayt il ne le fist que settlement pour VOUK tampter. Ore mon seignor fist elle,je leferay a rostre comandement, et puis ajrres la dame e I'escnier auoient tout dis leur roulantee desbatement et desduyt sans escient de mil;/. Et en tel maniere le seignor fut dfceu par coyntise de une famme, quar pour la gremour partie toules les famines de monde sont playnes de mal- uaistee et trahison. Et pour ce le sage Salomon dit ou liure de sapience; que ny a malice en tout le monde que s'trmonte la malice du maluaise femme : dont ie pri a dieu qu'il nous vueille le CHoman t^at 0350 Ijer inoer came to late, tj; 13 f 0f t^e 9?lnet tott^ t^e goluen tliomlie. j. 14 f f t^e ^orjieman of 3IrelanDe ttjat pra^De SDconet for to $ange up t^e fcere. ]ti 15 bt \\ii cable, Page r Of tiir prcm tliat sapti nether Corpus incus not at tlje frerc gone. jj;]ctt .......................... 46 IT SDf ttje pregt t^at siapn out laup iua0 not sio currotts a tooman. icrtiii. ............... 47 f SDf rtje goon man ttiat gapne to Tits! topfe ^e fan eu^H fate, looctb. ..................... 48 f SDf t^e ftete t$at tan lips! clj^Ine ntsfee a laten. 49 f SDf t^e gentplman t!>at agfeen t!je ftere fot !>ij( tttlit ......................... 49 Page f f ttie tljte men tljat rfioge tlje tooman. jcrjrtw. 50 f f t()e gentplman tljat taught Ijis! coofce tfje meupcpne for tlje tot^afce. jjcjctwi .......... 51 f SDf tfce gentplman ttjat prompeeD tlje scoler of SDjcfotBe a garcetiet tppet. wjctjt ........... 53 f f mapjiter sitdton tljat fcrong!jte fbe bvsigliop of J^ortotc^e ti fesiauntps. jl ............ 55 f SDf t^e peman of game tljat sapB ^e toolueljcte t^e carter, jclt ........................ 59 f f tTjc Me ttwt siaine ^e fjaD Icuer go to ^ell tfjan to Ijriirn. tlti .................... 60 f Of tl)c pfotoinaunpfl sonnc tfjat gaptic lie gatoc one make a go0e to crckc giuctclp. jclttt ..... 61 f f t^e maplie0 an0tuere t^at toag inpt^ c^plne. Tlfft ................................ 61 f Cf tlic srtuattnt tTjat rpmpti tott!) !)P0 master. *ft> ..... . ........................... 62 f Df t^e toelctieman t^at netpuereB t^e letter to tlie ape. yliri ......................... 63 f SDf Ijpm tTjat golne rpgfjt nought, ylbtt. ... 65 f SDf ttie ftere t^at tolne t^e t^te c^pltrest for tuneg. tlDiti ......................... 67 f flDf t^e Bop t^at tare t^e frere fr'0 mas(ter0 moncp. t(ir ....................... . . 69 5 SDf Ptipipp Spencer t^e boc^erji man. t. . . 69 Pag, f Of t$e courtcar ano tlie carter. It 70 f Of t$e pong man djat prapD I)t0 feloto to tedje Ijjm f)]?jS paternoster, lit 71 f Of tlje frcrc tTjat predjpD in rpme erpotonpngc tlje abe marta. Hit ^ 73 f 2)f t^e curat tfjat prec|)jD t^e articles of tlic Crene. lift 75 f 2Df t%e frerc tljat prec^pfl t^e j: contntattnDe= mentis!, to 76 f Of ttie to^fe t^at tan $er ^usstanne ete t^e canuell fprgte. Iftt 78 f SDf tfje man of !aiDe0 gonnejr angiuer. Itjii. . 79 f Df t^e frere in t!je pulpet t^at tan t^e fooman leue tier ^afiel^nge. Ibiii 79 f f tlie ioefdjman tTjat casst t^e sstcotte into t$e jiee. lit 80 f Of t^e man ttjat ^aB t^e Dome topfe. It. ... 81 f 35f tije Proctour of 3rc^e0 t^at IjaB ttie Iptel tojfe. IfL 84 f Of ii nonneg t$at ioere rtrpuen of one pregte, Irii 84 f Of ttie eiSquper t^at is^olne |aue ten maBe inpg^t. Iriti 86 f Of $im t^at tooTue jette t^e mapgtrpe of t)t'0 topfe. Ijcit) 87 xxvi abte. p, t , f f t^e penptent tt)at gapD t$e stiepe of aue mercp Upon me. fob ............... 88 f f t!>e fcujSianDe t$at gapn fce toa0 3!ofm nalD. Ijcbi .......................... 90 f 2Df t%e 0colet of ojfotDe t^at proucn lip gotten trp ti c^pfecng iu. Ijcbii ................ 91 f SDf t|e frcre t^at stale ttje poD^nge. Iicbiti. 9i f f t^e franfeelpnsf 0onne t^at cam to tafce ornreji. Ijtij: ......................... 94 f f t^e ^ugtanuman tljat loDgpD tlje frete in fjis otone ten. Irt .................... 95 f Cf t1)c prestt ttjat tooloe sap ttao gospclo for a gtote. Iioct ........................ 96 f f t$e couteat tljat Dpu ca0t t!)e frete ouer t^e tote. Trjctt ....................... 9? f 2Df t^e frete tljat prec^^n totiat mtnnpg iuere. Tj:j:iit ......................... 97 f f tljc ^ustiaiiBe t'fjat crpcB bfc bnoer tlje beB. Ittii) .......................... 98 ^ f tTje 0T)oma^er t^at asTicB tl;c colpct iutjat in ^eH. Ijcjrt ................. 99 f f epnt peter tfiat crpeB cause iofce. Irrftt. 100 f f Ijvm t^at aliaenturpTj bonp ann goule for prpnce. Ijcrbii .................... 101 xxv I'ige f flDf t$e pawn tfjat gtale tTje mpltter'0 eTjg. Irtimt .............................. 102 H f t!>e toeldnnan tfjat gato otic rl. 0. tetter tlian OB. Irrir ..................... 102 f f tlje frcrc t^at gain Bprpge for tTje ^055^0 Motile. T]cj;j; ......................... 102 f f tTje parsson ttjat 0apnc masS0e of requiem for Crpgtcg 0oule. Ittrt ............... 104 f f t^c tjerneman t^at 0a^De rpBe apace ^e S^aTI Tjatte rapn. Irrrtt ................ 105 f flDf tym rtjat 0apDe 31 Stiall ^atte tieuer a pen^. Irtpitt ....................... 106 f 5Df ttie !ju0!>antie t^at 0apue ^pg topfe anu tie agreeD tocll. Irrrtt). .................. 107 * f t^e prest tljat 0a?ne Comene epi0cope. Irrrh .............................. 107 f f tlje toomatt t^at 0tale ttic pot. Irrrbi. . 108 f f master iu^pttpnton0 Dreme. Irrrttt. . . 109 f f t$e presit t^at itlleB 1)i$ ^or0e calleti moDfcu0. Irrrtiut ..................... 110 f f rije iBelc^eman t!>at stale rte man0 cocfee. Irrrir .................... ill f f fjpm tljat iroujljt a tiotell to a pregte, re. 112 f f tl&cenujtementof 3Ie0uof ^a^arctlj. ret. 112 \\viii Rafale. f Of ttje frere riiat prerbeD agapnsst tlictn tone on ttjc soncapf. ten 113 f SDf t!je one btoDer tljat founfle a put*, jctti. 114 f 25f ttie angtoere of ttie masstrcg to tf&c ntapBe. rciii 115 T Of t^cnort^ttn man tljat teas all Tjarte. jccft. 116 f f rije tutnpnge of olne 31ot)n. tcbi lie f 2Df t^ecoutteart^atttefbe^otcusitanie. icctit. 118 f (Df t^e t^te potntcsi belonging to a 0f)teSt)D inpft. jcctj: H9 f SDf tlie man tljat pa^ntfB t%c lamt upon I)t0 ielp. c 120 a, c. T Of him that said there were but two commande- mentes. i. 1T A Certayne Curate in the contrey there was that preched in the pulpet of the ten coinaundementys / Sayeng- that there were ten commaunderaentes that euery man should kepe, and he that brake any of them commytterf syn how be it he sayd that somtyme it was dedely and somtyme venyal, But when it was dedely syn and whan venyall there were many doutes therin. 1T And a myiner a yongman a mad felow that cam seldom to chyrch, and had ben at very few sermons or none in all his lyfe answered hym than shortely this wyse I meruayl master person that ye say there be so many comuiaundementes and so many doutes For I neuer hard tell but of two com- 2 3, maundementes that is to save commaunde me to you and commaunde me fro you Nor I neuer harde tell of more doutes but twayn that ys to say dout the candell and dout the fyre. At which answere all the people fell a laugh- By this tale a man may well perceyue that they that be brought vp withoute lernynge or good maner shall neuer be but rude and bestely all thoughe they haue good naturall wyttes. 1[ Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her husbande disguised in her rayment. it . 1T A wyfe there was which had apoynted her prentys to com to her bed in the nyght which seruaunt had long woed her to haue his pie- sure which acordyng to the apoyntement cam to her bed syde in the night her husbande lyenge by her and whan she perceyuyd hym there she caught hym by the hande and helde hym fast and incontynent wakened her hus- bande and sayde Syr it is so ye haue a fals and an vntrue seruant which is wylliam your prentys and hath longe woyd me to haue his a, <&. ^Herg ^alps, 3 pleasure and because I coulde not auoyde his importunate request I liaue apoynted hym this nyght to mete me in the gardeyne in the herber and yf ye wyll aray your selfe in myn aray and go theder ye shall se the profe therof and than ye may rebuke hym as ye thynk best by your dyscrecyon, this husbande thus aduertysed by hys wyfe put upon hym his wyues rayment and went to the herber and whan he was gone thyder the prentys cam in to bed to his mastres where for a season they were bothe content and plesyd ech other by the space of an hour or ii. but whan she thoughte tyme conuenient she sayd to the prentyse Now go thy way into the her- ber and mete hym and tak a good waster in thy hand and say thou dyd it but to proue whether I wold be a good woman or no and reward him as thou thinkyst best This prentys doyng after his mastres councell went in to the herber where he found his master in his mastres apparell and sayd. A thou harlot art thou comen hether now I se well if I wold be fals to my master thou woldest be a strong hore but I had leuer thou were haniricl than I 4 a, er, wold do him so travterous a ded therefor I shall gyve the som punyshinent as thou lyke au hore hast deseruyd and therwith lapt him well about the sholders and back and gaue him a dosen or ii. good stripes the master felyng him selfe soinwhat to sniarte sayde peace wyllyam myn own trew good seruant for Goddis sake holde thy handes for I am thy mayster and not thy maystres, nay hore quod he thou knowest thou art but an harlot and I dyd but to proue the and smote him agayn, hold hold quod the mayster I besech the no more for I am not she for I am thy mayster for I haue a berde, and therwith he sparyd hys hand and felt hys berd good mayster quod the prentyse I crye you mercy, and then the mayster went unto hys wyfe and she askyd hym how he had sped and he answeryd Iwys wyfe I haue ben shrewdly betyn how be it I haue cause to be glad for I thank God I haue as trew a wyfe and as trew a seruaut as any man hath in englonde. By thys tale ye may se that yt ys not wys- dome for a man to be rulyd alway after his wyuys councell. ' O/ JioAn Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell. Hi. H IT fortuuyd that in a market towne in the counte of Suffolke there was a stage play in the which play one callyd John adroyns which dwellyd in a nother vyllage ii. myle from thens playde the dyuyll. And when the play was done thys John adroyns in the euynyng departyd fro the sayde market towne to go home to hys own house because he had there no change of clothyng he went forth in hys dyuylls apparell whych in the way com- yng homeward cam thorow a waren of conys belongyng to a gentylman of the vyllage wher he him self dwelt At whych tyrne it fortunyd a preste a vycar of a churche therby with ii. or iii. other vnthryfty felows had brought with them a hors a hey and a feret to then tent there to get conys and when the feret was in the yerth and the hey set ouer the path way where thys John adroyns shuld come thys prest and hys other felows saw hym come in the dyuyls rayment consideryng that they were in the dyuyls seruyce and stelyng of conys and supposyng it had ben the deuyll in 6 a, C, dede for fere ran away Thys John adroyns in the dyuyls rayment and because it was somwhat dark saw not the hay but went forth in hast and stomblid therat and fell doun that with the fal he had almost broken his nek. But whan he was a lytyll reuyuyd he lokyd up and spyed it was a hay to catch conys and lokyd further and saw that they ran away for fere of him / and saw a horse tyed to a bush laden wyth conys whych they had taken and he toke the horse and the haye and lept upon the horse and rode to the gen- tylmannys place that was lorde of the waren to the entente to haue thank for takynge suche a pray And whan he came ; knokyd at the gatys To whome anone one of the gen- tylmannys seruauntys askyd who was there / and sodeinly openyd the gate and assone as . he perceyuyd hym in the deuyls rayment was sodenly abashyd and sparryd the dore agayn and went in to hys niayster, and sayd and sware to hys mayster that the dyuell was at the gate, and wolde come in. The gentylinan heryng hym say so callyd another of his ser- uauntys and bad hym go to the gate to knowe 3, C* i&erg ^alps, 7 who was there / Thys seconde seruaunt came to the gate durst not open it, but askyd wyth lowd voyce who was there thys John Adroyns in the dyuyls aparell answeryd wyth a hye voyce and sayd Tell thy mayster I must nedys speke wyth hym or I go Thys second seruaunt heryng *** 8 lines of the original are vantiiig. the deuyll in dede that is at the gate syttynge vpon an horse laden with soules, and be lyke- lyhode he is come for your soule purpos ye to let him have your soule, and if he had your soule I wene he shulde be gon t the gentylman than meruaylously abasshed, called his chaplayne and sayd let a candell be light and gelte holy water and wenle to the gate with as manye s^ruantes as durste go with him / where the chaplayne with muche coniuracyon sayd. In the name of the father, sonne, and holy ghost I commande and charge the in the holy name of God, to tell me wherefore thou comeste hyther. 11 This John Adroynes in the deuylls apparell seying them begynne 8 2, et, to coniure, after such raaner sayd. Nay feare not me for I am a good deuyll / 1 am John Adroynes your neyghboure in this towne, and he that playde the deuyll to day in the playe. I bryng my mayster a dosen or two of his owne conyes that were stolen in dede and theyr horse and theyr haye, and made them for feare to ronne awaye i whanne they harde hym thus speke, by his voyce knewe hym well and opened the gate and lette hym come in. And so all the forsayd feare was turned to myrthe and disporte. By this tale ye may se that men feare many tymes more than they nede, whiche hathe caused men to beleue that sperytes and deuyls haue ben sene in dyuers places, whau it hathe ben nothynge so. f Of the Ryche man and his two sonnet, ifc. 1f THERE was a ryche man whiche lay sore sycke in his bedde to deth therefore his eldest sonne came to hym and besechyd hym to gyue him hys blessyng, to whome the father sayde / sonne thou shalt baue Goddes blessyng and a, myne / and because thou hast ben euer good of condicyons I giue and bequethe the all my lande, to whome he answered and sayd, nay father I truste you shall lyue and occupy them your selfe full well by Goddes grace. Sone after came another sonne to him lyke wyse and desyred his blessyng, to whome the father said my sonne thou hast ben euer kynde and gentyll I gyue the Goddes blessyng and rnyne. and I bequethe the all my mouable goodes, to whome he answered and said nay father I trust you shall lyue and do well and spende and vse your goodes yourself * * * * 8 Lines vantixg. By this tale men may well perceyue that yonge people that ******* theyr frendes counsell in youthe in tymes ***** full ende. [ OftheCockoldewhogainedaRingbyhisiudgment. S. 1f Two gentylmen of acquoyntaunce were apoynted to lye with a gentylwoman both in 10 a, e one nyght, the one nat knowynge of the other at dyuers houres f Thys fyrste at hys houre apoynted came, and in the bed.de chanced to lese a rynge. The seconde gentylinan whanne he came to bedde fortuned to fynde the same rynge, and whan he hadde stayde som tyme departed. And two or thre dayes after, the fyrste gentylmanne saw hys rynge on the others fynger and chalenged it of hym, and he refused it and badde hym tell where he had loste it: and he sayd in suche a gentyl- u'omans bedde. Than quod the other and there founde I it. And the one gentylman wolde haue it, and the other said he shulde* uat. Than they agreed to be decyded by the nexte man that they dyd mete. And it for- tuned them to mete the husbande of the said gentyll woman, and desyred hym of his iudg- nifiit shewynge hym all the hole mater. Than quod he by my iudgmente he thai ought the shetes shulde haue the rynge. Than quod they and for your good Judgement you shall haue the rynge. If Cf ti;c scokr tfjat gabe fiis sfjocs to clout e. bi. IT IN the Uniuersyte of Oxeforde, there was a scoler that delyted moche to speke eloquente englysshe and curious termes / and came to the cobler with his shoes whyche were pyked before (as they used that tyme) to have them clouted, and sayde this wyse. Cobler I praye the sette two fryangyls and two semy cercles vpon my subpedytales, and I shall paye the for thy laboure. The cobeler because he vnder- stoode hyin nat halfe answered shortely and sayd. Syr your eloquence passeth myne intellyg-ence But I promyse you yf he meddyll with me, the clowtynge of youre shoon shall cost you thre pens. By this tale men may lerne that it is foly to study to speke eloquently before them that be rude and vnlerned. f Cf l;tm tljat gain tiiat a iuomang tongue toas lightest of Digestion, bit. 1T A certayn artificer in London there was whyche was sore seke and coulde not well dys- gest his meat to whom a physicyon cam to give hym councell and sayd that he must vse 12 2, to etc metis that be light of digestyon and small byrdys as sparowes swalowes and spe- cyally that byrd which is called a wagtayle whose flessh is meruelouse lyght of dygestyon bycause that byrd is euer mouying and styryng The sekeman herynge the phesicion say' so answered hym and seyd, Syr yf that be the cause that those byrdes be lyght of dyges- tyon. Than I know a mete moch lyghter of dygestyon than other sparow swallow or wag- taile and that is my wyues tong, for it is neuer in rest but euer meuying and sterryng. By this tale ye may lerne a good generall rule of physyke f >f tlje JHoman t^at follotoen ^er fourth fjug* liantis bere attu tocpt. inu. 1T A woman there was which had had iiii. busbandys It fourtuned also that this fourth husbande dyed and was brought to chyrche vpon Ihe bere 7 whom this woman folowed and made great mone and waxed very sory in so moche that her neyghbours thought she wolde swown and dye for sorow y wherfore one of her gosseps cam to her and spake to her in a, C, j^erg alp0. 13 her ere and bad her for Godds sake comfort her self and refrayne that lamentacion or ellys it wold hurt her and perauenture put her in ieopardy of her life, To whom this woman answeryd and sayd I wys good gosyp I haue grete cause to morne if ye knew all for I haue beryed iii. husbandes besyde this man but I was neuer in the case that I am now y For there was not one of them but when that I folowed the corse to chyrch yet I was sure of an nother husband before the corse cam out of my house and now I am sure of no nother husband and therfore ye may be sure I haue great cause to be sad and heuy. By thys tale ye may se that the olde pro- uerbe ys trew that it is as great pyte to se a woman wepe as a gose to go barefote. f 2Df tfce tQoman tljat 0a?B tier tooer came to late. if. If ANOTHER woman there was that kuelyd at the mas of requiem whyle the corse of her husbande lay on the here in the cbyrche. To whome a youge man cam and spake wyth her in her ere as thoughe it had ben for som 14 a, mater concernyng the funerallys / howe be it he spake of no suche matter but onely wowyd her that he myght be her husbande, to u 1mm she answered and sayde thus Syr by my trouthe I am sory that ye come so late for I am sped all redy For I was made sure yes- terday to another man. By thys tale ye maye perceyue that women ofte tymes be wyse and lot he to lose any tyme. f 2Df tlie Spinet totrij rije golnen tljomte. jr. 1F A MARCHAUNT that thought to deride a mylner seyd vnto the mylner syttynge amonge company, Sir I haue harde say that euery trew mylner that tollyth trewlye hathe a gyl- den thombe / the myllner answeryd and sayde it was true Than quod the marchant I pray the let me se thy thombe and when the mylner shewyd hys thombe the marchant sayd I can not perceyue that thy thombe is gylt but it is as all other mens thombes be, to whome the mylner answered and sayde, Syr treuthe it is that my thombe is gylt but ye haue no power to se it for there is a properte euer incydent 15 vnto it that he that is a cockolde shall neuer haue power to se it. IT SDf tf>e $ot0eman of 3|reIanBe tfjat jirapBe SDconer for to Ijange up tije frere, jx 1T ONE whiche was called Oconer an yrysshe lorde toke an horsman prisoner that was one of hys great enmys / whiche for any request or entrety that the horsraan made gaue iuge- ment that he sholde incontynent be hanged and made a frere to shryue hym and bad hym make hem redy to dye. Thys frere that shroue hym examyned hym of dyuers synnes and asked him amonge other whiche were the gretteste synnes that euer he dyd this horsman answered and sayd one of the greatest actys that euer I dyd whiche I now most repent is that whan I toke Oconer the last weke in a chyrche and there I myght haue brennyd hym chyrche and all and because I had conscience and pyte of brennyng of the chyrche I taryed the tyme so long that Oconer escaped, and that same deferrynge of brennynge of the chyrche and so longe taryeng of that tyme is one of the worst actes that euer I dyd wherof 16 a, er, JKer? I muste repent This frere perceuynge hym in that mynde sayde peace in the name of God and change thy raynde and dye in charite or els thou shall neuer come in heuen, nay quod the horsman I w\ll neuer chaunge that mynde what so euer shall come to my soule thys frere perceyuynge bym thus styl contynew his minde cam to Oconer and sayde syr in the name of God haue some pyte vppon this mannys sowle and let hym not dye now tyl he be in a beter mynde. For yf he dye now he is so ferre out of cheryte that vtterly his soule shall be dampned, and shewyd hym what miude he was in and all the hole mater as is before shewyd. Thys horsman herynge the frere thus intrete for hym sayd to Oconer thus, Oconer thou seest well by thys mannys reporte that yf I dye now 1 am out of charyte and not redy to go to IK urn and so it is that I am now out of charyte in dede but thou seest well that this frere is a good man and he is now well dysposed and in charyte, and he is redy to go to heuen and so am not I therfore I pray the hang vp this frere whyle that he is redy to go to heuen, and let me tary tyl another 17 tyme that I may be in charyte and redy and mete to go to heuen. Thys Oconer herying thys mad answere of hym sparyd the man and forgaue hym hys lyfe at that season. By thys ye may se that he that is in danger of hys enmye that hath no pite he can do no beter but shew to hym the vttermost of his malycyous mynde whych that he beryth to ward hym. f 2Df tty pmgt t$at sapB notljet Corpus meu0 not or pum meant, tii. IT THE archdekyn of Essex that had ben longe in auctorite in a tyme of vysytacyon whan all the prestys apperyd before hym called asyde iii. of the yonge prestys which were acusyd that thy could not wel say theyr dyvyne seruyce, and askyd of them when they sayd mas whether they sayd corpus meus or corpum meum. The fyrst prest sayde that he sayd corpus meus. The second sayd that he sayd corpum meum. And than he asked of the thyrd how he sayde, whyche answered and sayd thus. Syr because it is so great a dout and dyiiers men be in dyuers opynyons, therfore 3 18 3, , f&trv because I wolde be sure 1 wolde not offende whan I come to the place I leue it clene out and say nothynge therfore, wherfore the bysshoppe than openly rebuked them all thre. But dyuers that were present thought more defaut in hym because he hym selfe before- tyme had admytted them to be prestys. By this tale ye may se that one ought to take hede how he rebukyth an other lest it torne moste to his owne rebuke. " Cf ttoo frcrcg in^mof tlic one louen nat tfjc tie $D not ttje otfjer ifyt tajjlc. jciii. 1F Two freres satte at a gentylmans tabyll whiche had before hym on a fastyng day an ele and cut the bed of the ele and layd it vpon one of the frerys trenchars, but the frere bycause he wold haue had of the middle parte of the ele sayd to the gentylman he louyd no ele hedes / tbys gentylman also cut the tayle of the ele and layde it on the other frerys t rent-liar he lyke wyse because he wolde haue had of the myddle parte of the ele sayde he loued no ele tayles / This gentylman per- ceuynge that gaue the tayle to hym that sayd 19 he louyd not the hed, and gaue the hed to hyra that sayd he loued not the tayle. And as fore the myddell part of the ele he ete parte hym selfe and parte he gaue to other folke at the table, wherfore these freres for anger wolde ete neuer a morsel^ and so they for al theyr craft and subtylte were not only de- ceyued of the best morsell of the ele, but therof had no parte at all. By this ye se that they that couet the best parte somtyme therfore lese the meane parte and all. 1f 2Df t$e toelc^e man ttjat garotte $j>m for irefcjwge of ty$ fagte on t H A WELCHEMAN dwellynge in a wylde place of walys cam to hys curate in the tyme of lente and was confessyd / and when hys con- fessyon was in maner at the end the curate askyd hym and he had any other thyng to say that greuyd his conscience which sore abasshid answered no worde a great whyle / at last by exhortacyon of his goostly fader he sayde that there was one thyng in his mynde that greatly greued his conscyence which he was asshamed 20 a, to vtter, for it was so greuous that he trowed God wold neuer forgyue hym to whom the curate answerd and sayd that Goddes mercy was aboue all and bad hym not dyspayre in the mercy of God / For what so euer it was yf he were repentant that God wolde forgyue hym. IT And so by longe exortacyon at the last he shewyd it and seyde thus, Syr it hap- penyd ones that as ray wyfe was makynge a chese vpon a fryday I wolde fayne haue sayed whether it had ben salt or fresshe and toke a lytyll of the whey in my hande and put it in my mouthe and or I was ware parte of it went downe my throte agaynst my wyll and so I brake my faste to whom the curate sayde and if there be non other thynge I warant God shall forgyue the, So whan he had well com- forted byni with the mercy of God the curate prayed hym to answere a questyon and to tell hyra trueth, and when the welchman had pro- mysed to tell the truth the curate sayd that there were robberyes and murders done nye the place where he dwelte and diuers men found slayn and asked hym whether he knew ought poyntynge to any of them, to whom he an- a, er j$iew D put in Ing moutfie in Ijpg uetlje fcenne. jc*. IT A RYCHE couetous mart-limit there was that dwellid in london which euer gaderyd rnony and could neuer fyud in hys hert to spend ought vpon hym selfe nor vpon no man els, 22 a, er \\ hit-he fell sore syke 7 and as he laye on hys deth bed had his purs lyenge at his beddys hedc and had suche a loue to his money that he put his hande in his purs and toke out therof x. or xii li. in nobles and put them in his month And because his wyfe and other perceyued hym very syke and lyke to dye they exortyd hym to be confessyd and brought the curate vnto hym which when they had caused him to say Benedicite the curate bad hym crye God mercy and shewe to hym his synnes Than this seyck man began to sey I crey God mercy I haue offendyd in the vii. dedly synnes and broken the x. coinmaundenientes / and because of the gold in his mouth he muffled so in his speche that the curate could not well vnder- stande hym / wherfore the curat askyd hym what he had in his mouthe that letted his spech ( I wys mayster parsone quod the syke man muffelynge I haue nothyng in my mouthe but a lyttle money bycause I wot not whether I shal go I thought I wold take some spendynge money with me for I wot not what nede I shall haue therof And incontynent after that sayeng 3, . j&etz Safes. 23 dyed before he was confessyd or repentant that any man coulde perceyue, and so by lykly- hod went to the deuyll By this tale ye may se that they that all theyr lyues wyll neuer do charyte to theyr neghbours / that God in tyme of theyr dethe wyll not suffre them to haue grace of repen- taunce. f 2>f tlje matter rijat sstale tfje twtte0 of t$e taplec tfjat 0talc a sfjepc. jciii. IT THERE was a certayne ryche husband man in a vyllage whiche louyd uuttes meruelously well and sette trees of fylberdes and other nutte trees in his orcharde / and norysshed them well all his lyfe, and when he dyed he made his executours to make promyse to bery with him in his graue a bagge of nuttes or els they sholde not be his executours / which executours for fere of lesynge of theyre romes fulfylled his mynde and dyd so. It happenyd that the same nyghte after that he was beryed there was a mylner in a whyte cote cam to this inannes garden to the entent to stele a bagge of nuttes and in the way he met wyth a tayler 24 3, ff. in a black cote an vnthrift of hys acquayn- tance and shewyd hym hys intent. This tay- ler lykewyse shewyd hym that he intendyd the same tyme to stele a shepe, and so they bothe there agred to go forewarde euery man seuerally wyth hys purpose and after that they apoynted to make god chere eche wyth other and to mete agayn in the chyrch porch, and he that cam fyrste to tarye for the other. This mylner when he had spede of hys nuttys came furst to the chyrch porch and there taryed for his felow and the mene whyle satte styll there and knakked nuttes. It fortuned than the sexten of the church because yt was about ix. of the cloke cam to ryng curfue and whan he lokyd in the porche and sawe one all in whyte knakkynge nuttes, he had wente it had beue the dede man rysyn owt of hys graue knakkynge the nuttes that were beryed wyth hym and ran home agayne in all hast and tolde to a krepyll that was in his house what he had sene ; Thys crepyll thus herynge hym rebuked the sexten and sayd that yf he were able to go he wolde go thyder and con- iure the spyryte, by my trouthe quod the sex- 25 ten and yf thou darest do that I wyll here the on my neck and so they both agreed / the sex- ten toke the creple on his nek and cam in to the chyrchyarde again and the mylner in the porch saw one comynge beryng a thynge on his necke had went it had ben the tayler com- ynge with the shepe and rose vp to mete them and as he cam towarde them he askyd and sayd Is he fat y is he fat ; the sexten heryng hym sey so / for fere cast the crepull down and sayd fatte or lene take hym as he is, and ranne awaye / and the creple by myracle was made hole and ran away as fast as he or faster. Thys mylner perceyuyng that they were two and that one ran after an other thoughte that one had spyed the tayler stelyng the shepe and that he had ron after hym to haue taken hym and fearyng that one had spyed hym also stelynge the nuttes he for feare lefte hys nuttes behynd hym and as secretly as he cowde ran home to hys myll. And anon after that he was gone the tayler cam wyth the stolen shepe vppon hys necke to the chyrche porche to seke the mylner and whan he fownde there the nutte shalys he supposyd that his felow had ben ther and gone home as he was in dede wherfore he toke vp the shepe agayne on his necke and went towarde the my 11. But yet durynge this while the sexten which ranne away went not to hys owne house but went to the parysh prestys chamber, and shewyd hym how the spyryt of the man was rysen out of hys graue knackyng nuttes as ye haue hard before, wherfore the prest sayd that he wolde go coniure hym yf the sexten wolde go wyth hym, and so they bothe agreed the prest dyd on hys surples and a stole about hys necke and toke holy water wyth hym and cam wyth the sexten toward the church, and as sone as he entred in the chyrche yard. The talyer wyth the whyte shepe on hys neck intendyng as I before haue shewyd yow to go downe to the myll met with them and had went that the prest in his surples had ben the mylner in his whyte cote and seyd to hym by God I haue hym I haue hym meanynge by the shepe that he had stolen, the prest perceyuynge the tayl- ler all in blake and a whyte thynge on hys uek had went it had ben the deuyll berying away the spyryte of the dede man that was 27 beryed and ran away as fast as he coude takyng the way down towarde the myl, and the sexten ronnyng after hym. Thys tayler seying one folowyng him had went that one had folowed the mylner to haue done bym som hurt and thought he wold folow if nede were to help the milner and went forth tyl he cam to the mill and knocked at the myll dore y the mylner beynge wythin asked who was there, the tayler answeryd and sayd by God I haue caught one of them and made him sure and tyed hym fast by the legges. But the mylner heryng him sey that he had hym tyed fast by the legges had went it had ben the constable that had taken the tayler for stelyng of the shepe and had tyed hym by the legges and ferid that he had come to haue taken hym also for stelynge of the nuttes ; wherfore the mylner opened a bak dore and ran away as fast as he could. The tayler herynge the backe dore openynge wente on the other syde of the myll and there saw the mylner ronnyng away and stode ther a lytyll whyle musyng wyth the shepe on his necke. Then was the parysshe preest and the sexten standynge there vnder 28 2, C. fHerp the mylhouse hydyng them for fere and saw the tayler agayn with the shepe on hys nek had wende styll it had ben the deuyll wyth the spyryt of the dede man of hys nek and for fere ran awaye, but because they knew not the grounde well, the preste lepte into a dyche almoste ouer the bed, lyke to be drownyde that he cryed wyth a loude voyce help helpe. Than the tayler lokyd about and saw the myl- ner ronne away and the sexten a nother way and hard the preste creye helpe, had went it had ben the constable wyth a great company cryeng for helpe to take him and to bring hym to pryson for stelyng of the shepe, wherfore he threwe down the shepe and ran away another way as fast as he coud, and so euery man was afferd of other wythout cause. By thys ye may se well it is foly for any man to fere a thyng to moche tyll that he se some profe or cause. f 3>f t1)t foute elementess inhere t^ej Ratline gone te fonnfie. tbii. 11 IN the old world when all thyng coud speke the iiii. elementys mette to geder for many a, * j&tt? alE0. 20 thynges whych they had to do because they must meddell alway one wyth a nother: and had communicacion to gyder of dyuers maters / and by cause they coulde not conclude all theyr maters at that season they appoyntyd to breke communicacion for that tyme and to mete agayne another tyrae, therfore eche one of them shewed to other where theyr most abydyng was and where their felows shoulde fynde them yf nede shuld requyre and fyrste the erthe sayde bretherne ye knowe well as for me I am permanent alway and not remouable therfore ye may be sure to haue me alway whan ye lyste. The wather sayde yf ye lyst to seke me ye shall be sure to haue me under a toft of grene rushes or elles in a womans eye. The wynde sayde yf ye lyst to speke wyth me ye shall be sure to haue me among aspyn leuys or els in a womans tong. Then quod the fyre yf any of you lyst to seke me, ye shall euer be sure to fynd me in a flynt stone or els in a womans harte. By tbys tale ye may lerne as well the pro- perte of the iiii. elementys as the proprete is of a woman f Cf ttie tooman tljar pourcn tfjc potage in tfjc male, juitt. 1T THERE was a iustyce but late in the reaine of england callyd master Vavesor a uery homely man and rude of condycyons and louyd neuer to spend mych money. Thys master Vauysour rode on a tyme in his cyrcuyte in the northe contrey where he had agreed wyth the sheryf for a certain some of money for hys charges thorowe the shyre so that at euery inne and lodgynge this master vauesour payd for his owne costys It fortunyd so that when he cam to a certayn lodgyng he comaunded one Tur- pyn his seruant to se that he used good hus- bondry and to saue sucbe thynges as were left and to cary it wyth hym to serue hym at the nexte baytynge, Thys turpyn doyng hys maystres commandement toke the broken bred broken mete and all such tbyng that was left and put it i his maysters cloth sak. The wyfe of the hous perceyuing that he toke all suche fragmentys and vytayle wyth hym that was left and put it in the cloth sak she brought vp the podage that was left in the pot and when a, C. J&erp &alp. 31 turpyn had torned his bake a lytyl asyde she pouryd the podage in to the cloth sake whych ran vpon his robe of skarlet and other of his garinentys and rayed them very euyll that they were mych hurt therwyth. Thys turpyn so- deynly turnyd hym and saw it, reuyled the wyfe therfore and ran to hys inayster and told hym what she had don, wherfore master Vaue- sor incontinent callyd the wyf and seyd to her thus, Thou drab quod he what hast thow don why hast thou pourd the potage in my cloth sake and marrd my rayment and gere O syr quod the wyfe I know wel year a iudge of the realme and I perceyue by you, your mind is to do ryght and to haue that is your owen and your mynd is to haue all thing wyth you that ye haue payd for both broken mete and other thynges that is left and so it is reson that ye haue and therfore be cause your ser- uant hath taken the broken mete and put it in your cloth sack I haue therin put the potage that be left because ye haue wel and truly payed for them yf I shoulde kepe ony thynge from you that ye haue payed for paraduenture ye wold troble me in the law a nother tyme. 32 a, C, iBer? Here ye may se that he that playth the nygarde to mych soin tyme it torneth hym to hys owne losse. f 2Df t$e tocnneu men rtjat came to^tuen to clapme ttjejr fcrptage. jrijc. 1T A CERTAYN weddyd man there was whyche whan he was dede cam to heuen gates to seynt peter and sayd he cam to clayme bys bad here- tage whiche he had deseruyd Saynt Peter ask yd hym what he was and he sayd a weddyd man, anon Saynt peter openyd the gatys and bad hym to come in and sayde he was worthye to haue hys herytage bycause he had had much troble and was worthy to haue a crowne of glory. Anon after there cam a nother man that claymyd heuen and sayd to Seynt Peter he had hade ii. wyues to whom Saynt peter answered and said come in for thou art worthy to haue a doble crown of glory for thou hast had doble trouble, at the last there cam the thyrd claymynge his herytage and sayde to Saynt peter that he had had iii. wiues and desyryd to come in, what quod Saynt Peter thou hast ben ones in troble and therof delv- 33 ueryd and than wyllingly woldyst be troblyd again and yet agayne therof delyueryd, and for all that coulde not beware the thyrde tyme, but enterest wyllyngly in troble agayn there- fore go thy waye to hell for thou shall neuer come in heuen for thou art not worthy. Thys tale is a warnyng to them that haue bene twyse in paryll to beware how they come therin the tbyrd tyme f SDf ttie merdjattnte tfat djargeD $t0 gontte to fpnDe one to gjmge for ty$ 0oule. jcjc. 1T A RYCHE ma reliant of London there was that had one sonne that was somewhat vn- thryfty therfore hys fader vppon hys deth bed called hym to hym and sayde he knew well that he had ben vnthryfty how be it yf he knew he wold amend hys condycyons he wolde make hym his executour and leue hym his goods so that he wolde promyse hym to pray for his soule and so fynde one dayly to syng for hym which thyng to performe his sonne there made a faythfull promyse. After that this man made hym hys executour and dyed. But after that hys sonne kept such ryot that 4 34 a, et, in short tyme he had wasted and spente all and had nothynge left but a henne and a cocke that was his faders. It fortunyd than that one of hys Frendys came to hym and sayd he was sory that he had wasted so moch and askyd hym how lie wolde proforme his promyse made to his fader that he wolde kepe one to syng for hym Thys yongman answered and sayde by God yet I wyll performe my promyse, for I wyll kepe this same cocke alyue styl and he wyl krow euery day and so he shall synge euery day for my faders soule and so I wyl perforrae my promyse wel ynough. By thys ye maye se that it is wysdome for a man to do good dedys bym selfe whyle he is here and not to trust to the prayer and pro- myse of hys executours. f Cf t$e marDe toassfjpngc clothes ttjat anstocrcu t$e fme. jcjci. 11 THERE was a mayde stode by a reuers syde in her smoke wasshynge clothes, And as she stouped ofttymes her sraocke cleued betwene her buttockkes, By wliotue there a, ff. i^lerp &alp0. 35 cam a frere seynge her and sayde in sporte, Mayde mayde take hede for Bayarde bytes on the brydell Nay wys master frere quod the mayden he doth but wype hys mouthe and wenyth ye wyll come and kysse hym. By thys ye may se that womans answer is neuer to seke. 1[ SDf tf)e ttjre topge men of otam. jcjcti. f A CERTAYN man there was dwellynge in a towne called Gotam that went to a fayre iii myle for to bye shepe. 7 and as he cam ouer a bryge he met with one of hys neyghbours and told hym whether be went and askyd hym whych way he wold bryng them, whyche sayd he wolde brynge them ouer the same bryge / nay quod the other man but thou shall not y by God quod 4 lines of Ike origiual are teanliiig. mele vpou a horse a neybour of theyrs and paciently askyd them what was the cause of thcyr varyaunce which than shewyd to hym the mater and cause as ye haue harde. Thys thyrde man the mylner beganne for to rebuke 36 2, 2 them by a famylyer example and toke his sacke of mele from his horse backe and openyd it and pouryd all the mele in the sacke ouer the brydge into the ronnynge ryuer wherby all the mele was lost and sayde thus by my trouthe ney hours because ye stryue for dryuynge ouer the brydge those shepe which be not yet boughte nor wotte not where they be me thynketh therfore there is euen as raoche wytte in your hedes as there is mele now in my sacke. Thys tale shewyth you that som man takyth upon him for to teche other men wysdome when he is but a fole hymselfe. f SDf t$e grape frere t!jat ansstoeieB Tjtg penj* tente. jtjciit. U A MAN there was that cam to coufesse hym to a prest and tolde hym that he had layne with a yonge gentyll woman the prest then asked hym in what place and he sayde it was in * * * all nyght longe in a soft warme bed the frere herynge that thys and sayd, Now by swete seynt Francys then wast thou very a, er iSier? &aips 37 f f tlje gentplman tljat tare t!>e siege tome on f . .,.- Ijpg necfee. win. IT A CHANDELER beynge a wydower dwell- ynge at Holborne neere London had a fayr doughter, whom a yonge gentelman of dauys ynne woyd sore to haue his pleasure of her, whyche by longe sute to her made at the last graunted hym and poynted hym to com upon a nyghte to her faders hous in the euenynge and she wold conuey hym into her chamber secretly which was an inner chamber within her faders chamber, So accordynge to the poyntment all thynge was performed so that he lay wyth her all nyght and made good chere tell about foure a clocke in the morn- ynge, at whyche tyme it fortunyd this yonge gentylman fell a coughynge, which cam vpon hym so sore that he could not refrayn. This wench than fering her fader that lay in the next chamber bad hym go put his hede in the draught lest that her fader shold here him which after her councel rose in his shyrte and so dyd / but than because of the sauour of the draught it causyd hym to coughe moche more 38 3, ei, ifter? and louder that the wenchys fader herde it, and askvd of hys daughter what man it was that coughed in her chamber she answered and said no body but euer this yong man coughed styll more and more whom the fader herynge sayd by Goddes body hore thou lyest I wyll se who is there and rose out of his bedde / Thys wenche perceyued her fader rysinge cam to the gentylman and sayde take hede syr to your selfe for my fader comyth, This gentylman sodeynly tberwyth abasshyd wolde haue pullyd his hede oute of the draughte hole which was very streyghte for hys hede that he pullyd the sege borde vp therwytb, and hangyng about his neck ran vpon the fader beynge an olde man and gaue hyrn a great fall and bare there was two or thre skyttysh horses, whych when they se this gentylman ronnyng start asyde and threwe downe the cart wyth colys and drew backe and brake the carte rope wherby the colys fell out some in one place a, er. ^aer? at?0 39 and some in another, and after the horses brake theyr tracys and ranne some towarde smyth- felde and som toward newgate that the colyar ran after them and was an houre and more or euer he coulde gette his horses to gyder agayne, by which tyme the people of the strete were rysen and cam to the place and saw yt strawyn with colys euery one for hys parte gaderyd vp the colys tyll the most parte of the coles were gone or the colyar had got his horses agayne, Duryng thys whyle the gentylman went thrugh seynt andrews chyrch yarde towarde Dauys Inne, and there met with the sexten commynge to attende to ring the bell for morow mas, whych whan he saw the gentyl- man in the chyrche yarde in hys shyrt wyth the draught borde about his neck had wend it had ben a spryt and cried alas alas a spryt and ran back again to his house almost atte b * * for fere was almoste out of his wytte that he was the worse a long tyme after. This gentilman than because dauys inne gatys were not open ranne to the iacksyde and lept ouer the garden wal, but in lepyng the draught bord so troubled hym that he fell downe into the 40 a, er, garden and had almoste broken his necke and ther he lay sty 11 tyll that the pry ucy pall cam into the garden, which wan he saw hyin lye there had wente some man had ben slayne and there caste ouer the wall and durst not come nye hym tyll he bad callyd vp hys com- panye which when many of the gentylman wer com to gether, loked well vppon hym and knewe hym and after releuyd hym, but the borde that was about hys necke caused his bed so to swell that they coulde not gette it of tyll they were mynded to cutte it of with hatchettys. Thus was the wenche well iaped, and for fere she ranne from her fader, her faders arme was hurte, the colyar lost his coles, the sexton was almost out of hys wyt, and the gentyluian had almost broke his necke. f Of tf;c mcrctjantcs! topfe ttjat savB glje iuolnc tafec a nap at 0mnon. jrrD. 1F A MARCHANTYS wyfe there was in bowe parysh in London some what slepte in age to whom her mayde cam on a sonday in leute after dyner and sayde maystres quod she they 41 rynge at saynte Thomas of acres for there shall be a sermon prechyd anon to whome the mastres answered and sayde mary Goddys blessynge haue thy harte for warnynge me thereof and because I slepte not well all this nyght I pray the brynge my stole with me for I wyll go thyder to loke whether I can take a nappe there whyle the preest is prechynge. By this ye may se that many one goth to chyrch as moch for other thynges as for deuocyon, f SDf tlje toontan tfiat gain anB 0t)e IpueB another pcre gfje luoltic fjauc a cocfeolnes ^atte of fjct clone, jcriii. Of the above late but a fev irortli remain in the fragment. 1" 2Df t!e gentplman tljat gentpliooman0 tajle. 1[ A GENTYLMAN and gentylwoman satte to gyder talkyng which gentylman had great pain in one of his tethe and hapnyd to say to the gentylwoman thus, I wys maystres I haue a tothe in my hede which greuyth me ?e gent^H tooman tfiat gapne to a jent^ll man ft Ijaue a fcerne afcoue ann none tencttie. jjtjc. 1f A YONGE gentylman of the age of xx yere somwhat dysposed to myrth and gaye, on a 45 tyme talked wyth a gentylwoman whyche was ryght wyse aud also mery, thys gentylworaan as she talked with hym happenyd to loke vpon hys berde / which was but yonge and somewhat growen vpon the ouer lyppe, and but lyttell growen benethe as all other yonge mennys berdes comynly vse to grow aud sayd to hym thus / Syr ye haue a berde aboue and none beneth / and he herynge her say so, sayde in sporte / maystres ye haue a berde beneth and none aboue, mary quod she than set the tone agaynst the tother which answere made the gentylman so abasshed that he had not one worde to answere. f 2Df tfje frere tfiat 0apne our Home feu fpue QG). people fottti iti. fyWt)y$ r jcjcju 1T THERE was a certayn white frere whiche was a very glotton aud a great nyggyn whiche had an vngracyouse boy that euer folowed hym and bare his cloke and what for the freres glotony and for his chorlysshnes the boy where he wente cowlde scante gette meate ynoughe / for the frere wolde eate almoste all hym selfe. But on a tyme the frere made a sermone in 46 3, . the contry wher in he touched very many myracles whyche Cryste dyd afore hys passyon amonge which he specially reliersyd the iny- racle whyche Cryste did in fedynge fyue thou- sande people with fyue louys of brede and with iii. lytdl fysshes and this frerys boy which caryd not gretely for hys mayster * * by reason that hys mayster was so great a churle cry ed out aloude that all the church harcle and sayd by my faith then there were no fryers tbere / whyche answere made all the people lavghe so that for shame the frere wente out of the * * he than departyd out of the churche By thys ye may se that it is honeste * * depart with suche as he hath to them * * U 2Df t$e franketyn tTjat tools faue }aD rijt fine gone. mit. 1T A RYCHE fraynklyn dwellyn in the countie of * * * had a frere in his house of whom he could neuer be ryd any meanes but he wold tarrye by the space of a senyght and wold nener depart wherfore the franklyn was sore grevud and sadly wery of bym / on a tyme, as 3, ec. i&er? eEa!p0. 47 he and hys wyfe and this frere were togydder he faynyd hyraselfe very angry wyth hys w>fe In somoche that he smote her. Thys frere per- seyuyng well what they raent sayd * * * I haue bene here this seuenyght whan ye were frendys and I will tarrye a fortenyght lenger but I wyll se you frendys agayne or I depart, Thefranklyn perceyuynge that he coude no good nor wold not depart by none other meanes, answeryd hym shortely and sayd by God frere but thou shalt abyde here no longer and toke hym by the shulders and thrust hym out of the dorys of the house. By this ye may se that he that wyl lerne no good by examples in a maner to hym shewyd is worthy to be taught wyth open rebuke. f 35 f t$e ptegt rijat jSapn our laDp toasf not 00 curpous a Vooman. jrrtiti. 1T IN the towne of bottelley dwellyd a mylner whiche had a good homely wenche to his doughter, whome the curate of the nexte towne Iouyd 7 and as the fame went had her at hys pleasure. But on a tyme thys curat prechyd of those curyouse wyues now a dayes / 48 3, eT, ifSer? and whether it were for the nonys or whether it cam oute at all aduenturys he had penyd to say thus in hys sermon. Ye wyues ye be so curyous in all your warkes that ye wot not what ye meane, but ye sbold folow oure lady. For our lady was nothynge so curyous as ye be, but she was a good homely wenche lyke the mylners doughter of Botteley. At whych sayng all the parishons made gret laughyng and specyally they that knew that he louyd that same wenche. By this ye may se it is gret foly for a man that is suspectyd with any person to praise or to name the same parson openly lest it bryng hym in forther sclau-nder. f Cf tfjc goon man tfjat sar>Be to i)i$ tojfe fie fjaD cnpll fate, jcjcjcib. 1T A FRERE Lymy tour come into a pore mannys bowse in the countrey and because thys pore man thought thys frere myght do hym some good he therefore thought to make hyra good chere But bycause hys wyfe wold dresse hym no good mete for coste y he therfore at dyner tyme sayd thus. By God wyfe bycause thou 49 dyddest dresse me no good mete to my dyner were it not for mayster frere, thou shouldest haue halfe a dosyn strypes. Nay syr quod the frere I pray you spare not for me, wher- wyth the wyfe was angry and therfore at soup- per she caused them to fare wors. f 2Df t$e frere t^at fcaD T)p0 c^ptne mafee a laten. Sat very fta icords remain of (hit Tale. f 2Df t!>e gentjlman t!)at agfeen t^e frere for tyt beuer. 1T IN the terme tyme a good old gentylman beyng a lawyer cam to lonrfon to the terme and as he cam he hapenyd to ouertake a frere which was an t'Wthrift and went alone wythout hys beuer wherfore this gentylman asked thys frere where was bys beuer that shold kepe hym company and sayd it was contrary to hys relygyon to go alone ; and it wolde cause people to suppose hym to be som apostata or som. vnthryft. By God syr quod the frere t my beuer comma undeth hym unto your master- shyp why quod the gentylman I knowe hym 50 a, not, than (quod the frere to the gentylman) ye are the more fole to aske for hym. By thys tale ye may se that he that geueth counsell to any vnthryft and techei\\ hym hys dutye shall haue oftymes but a mock for his labour. f flDf ttje tf&re men t$at djoge ttje tooman. 1F THRE gentylmen cam into an Inne where a fayre woman was tapster wherfore as these thre satte there makynge mery eche of them kyssed her and made good pastyme and plesure howbeit one spake merley and sayde I can not se how this gentylwoman is able to make pas- tyme and pleasure to vs all thre excepte that she were departed in thre partes / By my trouthe quod one of them yf that she myght be departed than I wolde chuse for my parte her hed and her fayre face that I myghte alway kysse her, Than quod the seconde I wolde haue the breste and harte for there lyeth her loue / Than quod the thyrd then ther is nothyng left for me but the loynys / buttockes and legges, I am contente to haue it for my parte, And whan these gentylmen had passed a, C. iHetg &atpa. 51 the tyme there by the space of one hour or ii. they toke theyr leue and were goynge awaye but or they went the thyrd man wbych had chosen the bely and the buttockys did kys the tapyster and bad her farewell, what quod the fyrste man that had chosen the face and the mouth why dost thou so, thou dost me wronge to kysse my parte that I haue chosen of her, quod the other I pray the be nat angry for 1 am contente that thou shalt kys my parte for it. f 2Df rije getttplman f&at taught ljt($ coofee t^e meujcpne for t^e tottjafce. jcr.jctmi. 1F IN essex there dwellyd a mery gentylman whyche had a coke callyd Thomas that was greatly dysseasyd with the tothake and com- playnyd to hys mayster therof whych sayd he had a boke of medecins and sayd he wold loke vp hys boke to se whether he could fynd any medecyn therm for it, and so send one of hys doughters to hys study for hys boke, and incontynent lokyd uppon yt a long season, and than sayd thus to hys coke. Thomas quod he here is a medesyn for your tothake 52 3, < and yt ys a charm but yt wyl do you no good except ye knele on your knees and aske yt for sent charyte. Thys man glad to be relesyd of hys payn kneled and sayd mayster for seint charyte let me haue that medecyne. Than quod thys gentylman knele on your knees and say after me ; whyche knelyd downe and sayd after hym as he bad hym. Thys gentylman began and sayd thus. The son on the sonday. The son on the sonday quod Thomas. The mone on the monday 7 the mone on the monday. The trynyte on the tewsyday / the trynyte on the tewsday. The wyt on the wednysday, the \vyt on the wednysday The holy hory thurs- day, the holy holy thursday. And all that fast on fryday, and all that fast on fryday. Shyte in thy mouthe on saterday. Thys Tho- mas coke heryng hys mayster thus mokkyng hym in anger stert vp and sayd by Goddys body mokkyng churle I wyll neuer do the seruyce more. And went forth to hys chamber to gete hys gere to geder to thentent to haue gon thens by and by, but what for the anger that he toke wyth his mayster for the mok that he gaue hym, and what for labor that he toke a, er, f&tw &aip0. 53 to geder hys gere so shortly to geder, the payne of the tothake went from hym incon- tynent that hys rnayster cam to hyin and made hym to tary styll, and tolde hym that hys charme was the cause of the ease of the payne of the tothake. By thys tale ye may se that anger oftymes puttyth away the bodely payne. f 2Df tfie gentplman tljat prompgen ttje scoter of 2Djcforne a starcenet tppet. ntit. IT A SKOLER of oxford latley made mayster of art cam in to the cyte of london and in poulys mette with the sayd mery gentylman of essex, which was euer disposyd to play many mery pageantys, wyth whom before he had bene of famylyer accoyntaunce and prayd hym to gyve hym a sercenet typet, This gentylman more lyberall of promyse than of gyfte grauntyd hym he shold haue one yf he wold com to hys lodgyng to the synne of the bull wythout byshops gate in the next morn- ynge at vi. of the cloke. Thys scoler thank yd hym and for that nyght departyd to hys lodg- yng in flete strete, and in the mornyng erely 54 a, as he poyntyd cam to hym to the sygne of the bull, And as thys geutylman saw hym he bad hym go wyth hym in to the Cyte and he sholde be sped anon whyche incontynent went togyder tyll he cam in to seynt Laurence church in the lury where the gentylman espyed a preste raueshyd to masse and told the skol- ler that yonder is the preste that hath the typet for you and bad hym knele downe in the pew and he shold speke to hym for it and incontynent thys gentylman went to the preest and sayd. Syr here is a skoller a kyanysman of in MIC gretly dyseasyd wyth the chyncough. I pray you whan masse is donne gyue bym iii draughtys of your chales. The preest grantyd hym and tornyd hym to the skoler and sayd, Syr I shall serue you as sone as I haue sayd masse, The skoler than taryed styll and herd the mas trusting that whan the masse was done that the preste wold gyue hym hys typet of sarcenet. Thys gentylman in the meane whyle departyd out of the chyrche. Thys preste whan mas was done putte wyne in the chales. And cam to the skoler knelyng in the pew profferyng hym to drynk of the chales, 55 thys skoler lokyd upon liyni and niusyd and sayd why master parson wherfore prefer ye me the chales ; mary quod the prest for the gentylman told me ye were dysseasyd with the chyncough and prayd me therfor that for a medecyne ye might drynk of the chales. Nay by seynt mary quod the scoler he pro- mysyd me ye shulde delyuer me a typet of sarcenet. Nay quod the preest he spake to me of no typet but he desyred me to gyue yow drynk of the chales for the chyncough. By Goddis body quod the scoler he is as he was euer wont to be y but a mokkyng wretch and euer I lyue I shall quyte hym and so departid out of the church in great anger. By thys tale ye may percyue it is no wysdom for a man to truste to a man to do a tbyng that is contrary to hys old accustumyd con- dycyons. f SDf master gielton t$at btougljte t$e of Iftorimcfje ii fegauntpsf* jcf. IT IT fortuned ther was a great varyance bi- twen the bysshop of Norwych and one niays- ter Skelton a poyet lauryat In so much that 56 3, the bysshop commaundyd hym that he shuld not come in his gatys, Thys mayster skelton dyd absent hym selfe for a long seson. But at the laste he thought to do hys dewty to hym and studyed weys how he myght obtayne .the bysshopys fauour ; and determynyd hem self that he wold come to hym wyth some pre- sent and humble hym self to the byshop and gat a cople of Fesantes and cam to the byssh- uppys place and requyryd the porter he myghte come in to speke wyth my lord. This porter knowyng his lordys pleasure wold not suffer him to come in at the gatys wherfor thys mayster skelton went on the baksyde to seke some other way to come in to the place. But the place was motyd that he cowlde se no way to come ouer except in one place where there lay a long tree ouer the motte in maner of a brydge that was fallyn down wyth wynd, wher- fore thys mayster skelton went a long vpon the tree to come ouer and whan he was almost ouer hys fote slyppyd for lak of sure fotyng and fel in to the mote vp to myddyll : but at the last be recoueryd hym self and as well as he coud dryed hymself ageyne, and sodeuly 57 cam to the byshop beyng in hys hall than lately rysen from dyner, whyche whan he saw Skelton commyng sodenly sayd to hym / why thow caytyfe, 1 warnyd the thow shuldys neuer come in at my gatys and chargyd my porter to kepe the out, Forsoth my lorde quod Skelton though ye gaue suche charge, and though your gatys by neuer so suerly kept yet yt ys no more possible to kepe me out of your dorys than to kepe out crowes or pyes for I cam not in at your gatys but I cam ouer the mote that I haue ben almost drownyd for my labour, and shewyd hys clothys how euyll he was arayed, whych causyd many that stode therby to laughe apace. Than quod Skelton yf it lyke your lordesbyp I haue brought you a dyshe to your super a cople of Fesantes. Nay quod the byshop I defy the and thy Fesantys also and wrech as thou art pyke the out of my bowse for I wyll none of thy gyft how ******* Skelton than consyderynge that the bysshoppe called hym fole so ofte sayd to one of hys famylyers thereby, that thoughe it were euyll to be christened a fole / yet it was mot-he worse 58 9, e to be confyrmed a fole of suche a bysshoppe for the name of confyrmacyon muste nedes abyde Therfore he ymagened howe he myghte auoyde that confyrmacyon, and mused a whyle and at the laste sayde to the bysshope thus. If your lordeshype knewe the names of these fesantes ye wold be contente to take them, why caytefe quod the bisshoppe hastly and angrey what be theyr names, ywys my lorde quod Skeltou this fesante is called Alpha which is in primys the fyrst, and this is called O that is novissimus the last and for the more playne vnderstandynge of my mynde if it plese your lordeshype to take them I promyse you this alpha is the fyrste that euer I gaue you and this O is the laste that euer I wyll gyue you whyle I lyue. At which answere all that were by made great laughter and they all desired the Bishoppe to be good lorde vnto him for his merye conceytes, at which earnest entrety as it wente the bysshope was contente to take hym vnto bis fauer agayne. By thys tale ye may se that mery conceytes dothe a man more good than to frete hymselfe with anger and melancholy. 59 f 2Df t$e ?eman of game t$at siapB f>e toolDe Bete ttie carter. jclu H A YOMAN of the kynges garde dwellynge in a vyllage besyde London had a very fayre yonge wyfe. To whorae a carter of the towne a mery fellowe resorted and laye with her dyuers tymes whan her husbande was on garde and thys was so openly knowen that all the towne spake therof A certaine yonge roan of the towne well acquointyd with thys yeman told him that suche a carter hadde layne by his wyfe. To whome this yeman of the garde sware by Goddes body if he mette with hym it should go harde but he wolde bete him well t hey quod the yonge man if ye go streyght euen nowe the right way ye shall ouertake him dryuyng a carte laden with haye towarde London wherfore the yeman of the garde incontynent rode after this carter, and within shorte space overtoke him and knewe him well ynoughe and incontynent called the carter to hym and sayd thus. Syrra I vnderstande that thou doste lye euery nyght with my wyfe whan I am from home. This carter beynge no thyng afrayde of hym answered ye marry 60 9, e what than, what than quod the yeman of garde by Goddys harte haddest thou uat tolde me truth I wolde haue broke thy hede. And so the yeman of garde retourned and no hurte done no stroke strykeu nor proferyed. By this ye may se that the greatyst crakers somtyme whan it commeth to the profe be moste cowardes. Y Of thefole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen. jclti. 1[ A POLE there was that dwelled with a gen- tylman in the countrey whiche was called a great tyraunte and an extorcyoner. But this fole loued his mayster meruaylously because he cherysshed hym so well. It happened * * 3 tout wmlimg. to heuen, for I had leuer go to hell, than the other asked hyra why he had leuer go to hell by my trouthe quod the fole for I wyll go with my master and I am sure my master shall go to hell. For euery man seyth he shall go to the deuyl in hell and therfore I wyll go thyder with bym. a, 2F J&erg &al20> 61 f SDf t$e plotomannpg gonne tfjat gajne $e gatoe one mafee a goge to crefce isinetety. jcltiu IT THERE was a certayn plowmans son of the contrey of the age of xvi yeres that neuer coming moche amonge company but alway went to plough and husbandry / on a tyme this yonge lad went to a weddyng with his fader where he se one lute vpon a lute, and whan he came home at nyght his moder asked hym what sporte he had at weddynge. This lad answeryd and sayd by my trouth moder quod he there was one that brought a gose in his armes and tykled her so vpon the neck that she crekyd the swetlyest that I hard gose creke in my lyfe. f SDf tfje mapBefj attsstoere t^at iuag IT AT a merchauntes house in london there was a mayde whiche was great with chylde to whom the maystres of the house cam and that comaunded her to tell her who was the fader of the chylde. To whom the mayde answered for- sooth no body, why quod the maystres it is not 62 3, possyble but som man is the fader therof. To whom the mayd answered why inaystres why may not I haue a chyld without a man as well as hennys lay eggys withhout a cocke. By this ye may se it is harde to fynde a woman wythout an excuse. K SDf t!c (Jeruaunt t^at rprnpu tottl) tyt ma?^ tcr. jclft. 1T A GENTLEMAN there was dwellynge nygh Kyngston upon tamys and rydynge in the con- trey with his seruaunt which was not the quyckest felowe but rode alway sadly by Aw maysters side and uttered uery fewe wordys. Hys mayster sayd to him wherefore rydyst thou so saddly I wolde have the tell me some tale to beguyle the tyme with by my trouthe mayster quod he I can tell no tale, then sayd his mayster canst thou not synge no by my trouthe quod he I coulde neuer synge in all my lyfe, quod the mayster canst thou ryme no by my trouthe quod he I can not but yf ye wyll begyn to ryme I wyll folow as well as I can, by my trouth quod the mayster that is well therfore I wyll begyn to make a ryme 3, 0* jaerg 'alE0 63 let me se how well thou canst folowe thy mays- ter meanwhyle and then began to ryme thus. Many mennys swannys swymme in temmys and so do myne. Then quod the seruant And many a man lyeth by other mennys wyues and so do I by thyne, what dost thou horeson quod the mayster, by my trouthe mayster no thynge quod he but make vp the ryme but quod the mayster I charge the tell me why thou sayest so forsothe mayster quod he for nothynge in the worlde but to make vp your ryme. Than quod the raayster, yf thou doist for nothynge ellys I am content. So the mayster forgaue hym hys saynge all thoughe he sayd trouthe peraduenture. f 2Df tfie toetc^eman tfjat DelpuereB ttie letter to ttje ape. jcliH. & first lines wanting, fauoure to his seruant 7 and commaunded his seruant shortely to brynge hym an answere. This welcheman came to the chefe lustyce place and at the gate saw an ape syttynge there in a cote made for hym as they use to 64 3, e apparell apes for disporte. This welcheman dyd of his cappe and made curtsye to the ape and sayd. My mayster recomraendeth hym to my lorde youre father and sendeth hym here a letter. This ape toke this letter and opened it and lokyd theron and after lokyd vpon the man makynge many niockes and moves as the propertyes of apes is to do. This welcheman because he \nderstood hym nat came agayne to his mayster accordynge to his commaundes and totde hym he delyuered the letter vnto my lorde chefe iustyce sonne who was at the gate in a furred cote. Anone his mayster asked hym what answere he brotighte. The man sayd he gaue hym an answere but it was other frenche or laten for he understode him aat. But syr quod he ye nede nat to fere for I saw in his counte- naunce so moche that I warrante you he wyll do your errande to my lorde his father. This gentylman in truste therof made not anye fur- ther suite, For lacke wherof his seruaunte that had done the felonye within a monthe after was rayned at the kynges benche and caste and afterwarde hanged. 65 By this ye may se that euery wyse man ought to take hetle that he sende not a/olysshe seruaunte vpon a hasty message that is a matter of nede. f (Df fjprn tljat sofDe rjgTit nought, jclim. 1F A certaine felowe there was whiche profered a dagger to sell to a felowe the which answered him and sayd that he had ryght nought to giue therfore / wherefore the other sayde that he shulde haue hys dagger upon condycyon that he shulde gyue and delyuer vnto hym therefore within Hi Dayes after ryghte nought, or els forty shyllynges in money wherow the other was contente. Thys bergayne thus agreed, he that shulde delyuer his ryght noughte toke no thoughte vntyll suche tyme that the day apoynted drewe nye. At the whiehe tyme he began to ymagen howe he myght delyuer this man ryght nought. And fyrst of all he thought on a feder, a straw < a pynnes poynte, and suche other, but notbynge could he deuyse but that it was somwhat, wherfore he came home all sadde and pencyfe for sorowe of losynge of his xl. shyllynges, and coulde 6 66 SI, < nother slepe nor take reste, wherof hys wyfe beynge agreued, demaunded the cause of his heuynes which at the last after many denayes tolde her all, well syr quod she lette me here with alone / and gette ye forthe a towne and I shall handell this matter well ynoughe. This man folowynge his wyfes counsell wente forthe of the 3 lines wanting. Therfore syr quod she put your hande in yonder potte and take your money. This man beynge glad thrust his hande in it supposyng to haue taken xl. shyllynges of money and thrust his hande thoroughe it vp to the elbowe. Quod the wyfe than syr what haue ye there. Mary quod he ryghte nought. Syr quod she than haue ye youre bergayne and than my husbande hathe con- tented you for his dagger accordynge to his promyse. By this ye may se that oftentymes a womans wytte at an extremyte is moche better than a mans. 67 f 2Df tf)t frere ttjat tolne tf)t ttjre c^TBreU for* tunes, jclfcm. IF THERE was a frere lytnyttour whyche wente a lyrayttynge to a certayne towne wherin dwellyd a certayne ryche man of whome he newer coulde gette the value of an halpeny / yet he thought he wolde go thyder and assaye them. And as he wente thyderwarde the wyfe stand- yng at the dore perceyuynge hym commynge a farre of, thoughte that he was commynge thy- ther and by and by ranne in and badde her chyl- dren standyng thereby t that if the frere asked for her say she was nat within. The frere sawe her runne in and suspected the cause and came to the dore and asked for the wyfe, The chyldren as they were bydden, sayde that she was nat within. Than stode he styll lokynge on the chyldren, and at the laste he called to hym the eldeste and badde hym let hym se his hande and whan he saw his hande O Jesu quod he what fortune for the is or- dayned. Then he asked the seconde sonne to se his hande, and his hande sene the frere sayd O Jesu what destenye for the is prepared, Than loked he in the thyrde sonnes hand O 68 3, God quod he thy desteny is hardest of all and therwith wente he his way the icyfe heryng these thinges / sodenly ranne out aud called the frere againe and prayde him to come in / and after to sytte downe, and sette before hym all the rifaile that she had. And whan he had well eaten and dronken she besought hym to tell her the destenyes of her chyldren, which at the last after many difficulties tolde her that the fyrste shulde be a beggar, the seconde a thefe, the thyrde a homicyde, whiche she hearynge fell downe in a soone and toke it greuouslye. The frere comforted her and said that thoughe these were theyr fortunes there myght be remedy bad, than she besought him of his counsell, than said the frere you must make the eldest that shalbe a beggar a frere, and the seconde that shalbe a thefe a man of lawe, and the thyrde that shalbe an lionii- cyde a phisicyon. By this tale ye may lerne that they that will come to the speche or presence of any per- sone for theyr owne cause they muste fyrste endeuer them selfe to shewe suche matters as those persones most delyte in. , eC* ffiucv $alE0 69 f fiDf t$e fcoj tfcat tare tlje frete I)t0 monep. jltj:. 4 Zincs wanting. ye quod the frere. Than wente the man to the boye and sayd, syr thy mayster byddeth the gyue me xl. pens. I wyll nat quod the boye, than called the man with an bye voyce to the frere and sayd syr he sayeth he wyll nat, than quod the frere bete him / and whan the boye harde his mayster say so he gaue the man xl. pens. By this ye may se it is foly for a man to say ye or nay to a matter excepte he knewe surely what the matter is. IT 2Df P^lpp ^pcncet t^e fcodjetiJ man. I. H A CERTAYNE bocher dwellynge in Saynt Nocolas Flesshambles in London called Poule, had a seruaunte called Peter. Thys Peter on a Sonday was at the churcbe herynge masse, and one of his felowes whose name was Phylyppe spencer was sente to call him at the commaundement of his maister. So it 70 a, C. ^fierp happened at the tyrae that the curat precheft. And in his serrnonde touched many auctoryties of the holy scriptures. Amonge all the wordes of the pystles of saynt Poule and phylypenses. Howe be natonely bounde to beleue in Chryste but also to sufFre for Chrystes sake and sayd these wordes in the pulpet what sayeth Poule and Phylyppenses to this. Thys yonge man that was called Philyppe Spenser hadde went he bad spoken of hini ( answered shortely and sayd, mary syr he bad Peter come home and take his parte of a podynge, for he shulde go for a Calfe anone. The curate herynge this was abasshed and all the audyence made great laughter. By thys ye may se that it is no token of a wyse man to gyue a soden answere to a ques- tyon before he knowe surely what the matter is. r Cf t$e couttcar ano tlje carter, li. f THERE came a courtyer by a carter the whiche in derysyon preysed the carters backe y legges and other membres of his body mer- uaylously whose gestynge the carter perceyued and sayde, he had another properte than the a, et ffietv al0 71 courtyer espyed in hym 7 and whan the courtyer had demanded what it shulde be, he lokyd asyde ouer hys shulder vpon the courtyer and sayde thus. Lo syr this is my propertie. I haue a walle eye in my hede for I neuer loke ouer my shulder thys wyse, but lyghtlye espye a knaue. By this tale a rnau may se that he that useth to deryde and mocke other folkes is somtyme him selfe more deryded and mocked. f 2Df t&c pong man ttjat prapD $t0 feloto to tec^e fym firs paternoster. lit. II A YONGE man of the age of xx yere rude and unlerned in the tyme of lente came to his curate to be confessed whiche whan he was of his lyfe serched and examyned / could nat saye his Pater noster, wherfore hys confessoure exorted him to lerne his Pater noster, and shewed him what an holy and goodly prayer it was, and the effecte therof, and the vii. peticyons therin contayned, The i. sanctifice- tur $c. halowed be thy name. The ii. adueniat regnum Sfc. thy kingdome came The Hi. Fiat voluntas fyc. thy will be done in earth as it is 72 a, er. in heuen. The tr. Panem nostrum Sfc. yeue vs our dayly sustenaunce alway and helpe vs as \ve haue and helpe them that haue nede of vs. The v. Dimitte &c. Forgyue vs our synnes done to the as we forgyue them that trespas agaynste vs. The vi. Et ne DOS. Let vs nat be ouercome with euyll temptacyon. The vii. Sed libera &c. But delyuer us from all euyll. amen. And than his confessour after this exposicyon to hym made injoyned hym in penaunce to faste euery fryday on brede and water tyll he had his Pater noster well and sufficiently lerned. This yonge man mekely acceptyng his penaunce so departed and came home to one of his companions and sayde to his felowe so it is that my gostely father hathe gyuen me in penaunce to faste euery fryday brede and water tyll I can say my Pater noster. Therfore I pray thee teche me my Pater noster and by my truthe I shall therfore teche the a songe of Robyn hode that shall be worthe xx. of it. By thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the effecte of the holy prayer of the Pater noster. a, C, Jfierg ^alp. 73 f 2Df t^e ftere t^at prec^pB in rpme ej:jjofott?nge ttje aftc matta. Hit. 1T ACERTAYNE frere there was whiche vpon our Lady day the Annuncyacion made a ser- mon in the whyte freres in London and began his antetexte this wyse. Aue maria gracia plena dominus tec um &c. These wordes quod the frere were spoken by the aungell Gabryell to cure ladye whan she couceyued Chrisle, which is as moche to saye in our mother touge / as all hayle Mary well thou be the sonne of God is with the. And furthermore the aungell sayde ; thou shalt conceyue and bere a sonne. And thou shalt call his name Jesum, and Elyzabeth thy swete cosyn, she shall conceyue the swete saynt John. And so preceded styll in his sermon in suche fonde ryme that dyuers and many gentylmen of the court that were there / began to smyle and laughe. The frere that perceyuyng said thus. Maysters I pray you harke I shall tell you a narracyon. There was ones a yonge preest that was nat all the best clerke sayd masse and redde a colect thus. Deus qui vigenti iilii tui &c. wherfore 74 a, er, he shulde haue said vnigeniti tilii tui &c. And after whan masse was done there was suche a gentylman as one of you are nowe that had herde thys masse came to the preest and sayde thus. Syr I pray you tell me howe many sonnes had God Almyghty / quod the preest why aske you that. Mary syr quod the gen- tylman I suppose he had xx. sonnes, for ye said right nowe, Deus qui viginti filii tui. The preest perceyuynge howe that he deryded liNin answered hym shortely and said thus. Howe many sonnes so euer God Almyghty had, I am sure that thou arte none of them for thou scornyst the worde of God, And so sayde the frere in the pulpet, No more are ye none of the chyldren of God for ye scorue and laughe at me nowe that preche to you the worde of God whiche 3 line i van ting. perceyue wel that the best, the wysyst and the most holyest matter that is by, fond pronun- cyacion and otterauns may be marryd, nor shall not edyfye to the audyence. Therfore euery proces wold be vtteryd wyth wordys and countenaunce conuenyent to the matter. 75 Also yet by thys tale they that be vnlernyd in the lateu tonge may know the sestence of the Aue Maria. ; ':' titol ft ii^* ; ; !!**j>* r, - ^ f S)f ttie curat tljat prec^?B rtje artpcleg of tfce 1F IN a wyllage in Warwykshyre there was a parysh prest all though he wer no great clarke nor gradual of the vnyuersyte, yet he prechid to hys paryshons vppon a sonday. Declaryng to them xii. artycles of the Crede. Shewyng them that the furst artycle was to beleue in God the fader almyghty maker of heuen and erlh. The second To beleue in Jesu Cryste hys onely son our Lorde coequal wyth the fader in all thynges perteynyng to the deyte. The thyrd that he was conceyuyd of the holy goost Borne of the vyrgyn Mary. The fourthe that he suffred deth under Pons pylate and that he was crucyfyed dede and beryed, The fyft that he descended to hell and fet out the good sowlys that were in feyth and hope / and than the thyrd day rose from deth to lyfe. The syxt he assendyd into heuen to the ryght syde of God the fader where he syttyth. The 76 3, seuynth / that he shall come at the day of dome to Judge both us that be quyk and them that be dede. The eyght to beleue in the Holy Cost equall God wyth the fader and the sone. The nynth In the holy churche Catholyk and in the holy communyon of sayntes. The tenth In the remyssyon of synnys. The levynth In the resurreccyon generall of the body and soule The twelfth in euerlastynge lyfe that God shall rewarde them that be good, And sayd to his paryshons further that these artycles ye be bounde to beleue for they be trewe of auctoryte, And yf you beleue not me, than for a more surete and suffycyent auctoryte go your way to Couentre and there ye shall se them all playe in corpus cristi playe. By redynge of this tale they that understand no laten may lerne to knowe the xii. articles of the faytb. f SDf tte frcte ttiat predjpn ttje jc commaunne* mentis, lu. IT A LYMYTOUR of the gray freres in Lon- don whych prechyd in a certaine vyllage in a, er. f&tw aig0, 77 the contrey in the tyme of his lymytacytm, and had prechyd a sermon whych he had lernyd by hart, that of the declaring of the x. commaundeiuentis. The fyrst to beleue in one God and to honoure him aboue all thynges. The seconde to swere not in vayn by hym nor none of his creatures. The thyrde to absteyne from wordely operacyon on the holy day thou and all thy seruauntys of \vhome thou hast cherg. The fourthe to honour thy parentys and to helpe them in theyr necessyte. The fyft to sle 110 man in dede nor wyll nor for no hatred hurt his bodye nor good name. The syxte to do no fornycacyon actuall nor by no vnlefull thought to desyre no fleshly delecta- cyon. The seuenthe to stele nor depryue no mannes goodes by thefte. 3 lines wanting. to couete nor desyre no mannes goodes vn- lefullye. Thou shall not desyre thy neygh- bours wyfe for thyne owne apetyte vnlaufully. And because this frere had preched this ser- monde so often / one that had herde it before tolde the freres seruaunte that his maister was called frere John x. commaundementes, \vher- 78 a, , fore this seruaunte shewed the frere his mayster therof and aduysed him to preche.some ser- inonde of some other matter, for it greued him to here his maister so deryded and to be called frere John x. commaundementes for euery man kuoweth what ye wyll say as sone as euer ye begyn, because ye haue prechyd it so ofte y why than quod the frere I am sure thou knowest well whiche be the x commaunde- mentes that hast herde them so ofte declared ye syr quod the seruaunte that I do. Than quod the frere I pray the reherse them vnto me nowe. Mary quod the seruaunte they be these. Pryde, couetous, slouthe / enuy, wrathe, glotony^and lechery. By redyng thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the x. commaundementes and the vii. dedely synnes. f f ttie topfe ttiat tan Tjet Ijugtanut etc t$e canuell fjr^te. Ibi. 1T THE husbande sayde to his wyfe thus wyse y by this candell I dremed thys nyght that I was cockecolde To whom she answered and sayd husbande By this brede ye are none. Than sayd he wyfe eate the brede. She answered a, UT, ffietv and sayd to her husbande than eate you the candell for you sware fyrste. By this a man may se that a womans answer is neuer to seke. f f tfje man of latoefS gonneg anssfoer. lijfu 1T A WOMAN demaunded a questyon of a little chylde sonne unto a man of lawe of what crafte his father was / whiche chylde sayde, his father was a craftye man of lawe. By this tale a man may perceyue that som- tyme peraduenture yonge Innocentes speke truely vnaduysed. f SDf tfie frere in tlje pulpet t^at ian t^c tooman leue Ijer iaielpnge. Ibtii. 5T IN a certayne parrysshe churche in Lon- don after the olde laudable and accustomed rnane^ there was a frere mynor all thoughe he were nat the best clerke nor coulde nat make the best sermondes / yet by the lycence of the curate he there prechyd to the Parysshons. Amonge the whyche audyence there was a wyfe at that tyme lytell disposed to contem- placyon talked wyth a gossype of hers of 80 3, f t$e man t$at t>au rije Borne fopfe, Ijc. 1f THERE was a man that maryed a woman whiche had great ryches and beautie, howe be it she had suche an impedyment of nature that she was domme and coulde nat speke, 7 82 2, C* JlBer? whiche thinge made him to be ryght pensyfe and sadde / wherfore vpon a day as he walked alone ryght heuy in harte thynkynge vpon his wyfe. There came one to him and asked hym what was the cause of his heuynesse, whiche answered that it was onely because his wife was borne domme. To whome this other sayde I shall shewe the sone a remedye and a inedecyne (therfore that is thus). Go take an aspen lefe and laye it vnder her tonge this nyght she beynge a slepe, and I warante the that she shall speke on the morowe, whiche man beynge glad of this medycyne prepared therfore / and gathered aspyn leaues, wherfore he layde tbre of them vnder her tonge whan she was a slepe. And on the morowe whan he hymselfe awaked / he desyrous to knowe howe his medecyne wrought beynge in bedde with her, he demaunded of her howe she dyd, and sodenly she answered and sayd. I be- shrowe your harte for wakenynge me so erly, and so by the vertue of that medycyne she was restored to her speche. But in conclu- syon her speche so encreased day by day and she was so curste of condycyon that euery a, C* ;f&et2 ^alpa* 83 daye she brauled and chydde with her hus- bande, so moche that at the laste he was more vexed and hadde moche more trouble and dis- ease with her shrewde wordes than he hadde before whan she was dome, wherfore as he walked another tyme abrode he happened to meate agayne with the same persone that taughte 5 lines wanting. and more wery of her nowe than I was before whan she was domme, wherfore I praye you teche me a medycyne to modefye her that she speke nat so moche. This other answered and sayd thus. Syr I am a deuyll of hell, but I am one of them that haue leste power there. All be it yet I haue power to make a woman to speke but and if a woman begyn ones to speke, I nor all the deuyls in hell that haue the more power be nat able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leaue her spekynge. By this tale ye may note that a man ofte tymes desyreth and coueteth moche that thynge that ofte turneth to his displeasure. 84 3, a* r Cf tf;r jptoctour of arches tfjat 1)30 tlje topft. Ijci. IF ONE askyd a Proctour of the arches lately before maryed why he chose so lytel a wyfe whiche answered because he had a texte say- enge thus. Ex duobus inalis minus mails est eliendum, that is to saye in cnglyshe ainouge euyll thinges the leste is to be chosen. f SDf ii nonnest t^at tuete fifjrpucn of one ptcdte. frit. IT IN the tyme of Lente there came two nonnes to saynte Jolinns in London bycause of the great pardon there to be confessed. Of the whyche nonnes, the one was a young lady and the other was olde. This yonge lady chose fyrst her confessour, and confessed her that she hadde synned in Lechery The confessour asked with whome it was, she sayd it was with a lustye gallante. He demaunded where it was, she sayd in a plesaunte grene herber, he asked further whan it was. She sayd in the mery moneth of Maye. Than sayd the confessour this wyse, a fayre yonge lady with a lusty galante in a plesaunte herber and 85 in the mery moneth of Maye ye dyd but your kynde nowe by my truthe God forgyue you and I do ( and so she departed. And incon- tynent the olde nonne mette with her ; askynge her howe she lyked her confessour, whiche sayd he was the best gostly father that euer she hadde, and the most easyest in penaunce geuyng. For comfort wherof this other nonne went to the same confessour, and shroue her lykewyse that she had synned in Lechery. And he demaunded with whome, whiche sayde with an old frere, he asked where, she said in her olde cloyster. He asked what season, she sayde in Lente. Than the confessour sayd, an old hore to lye with an old frere in her olde cloyster, and in the holy tyme of Lente, by cockes body if God forgyue the, yet wyll I neuer forgyue the. which wordes caused her to departe all sadde and sore abasshed. By this tale men may lerne that a vicyous acte is more abhomynable in one person than in another, in one season than in another, and in one place than in an other. 86 f flDf ttie esiquper tfcat gfjoTne !jaue ten mane fcnjgljt. friti. 4 itne> a/ f t$e pcnptcnt ttjat jsajti rtje sljepe of tjaue merry topon me. (ru. 1F A CERTAYNE confessour in the holy tyme of lente enioyned his penytente to saye dayly 89 for his penaunce this prayer, Agnus Dei mise- rere mei / whiehe was as moche to saye in englysshe as the lambe of God haue inercye vpon me This penytente acceptynge his penaunce departed, and that tyme twelfe monthe after came agayne to be confessed of the same confessoure whiche demaunded of him whether he bad fulfylled his penaunce that he hym enioyned the laste yeare ; than he sayde thus, ye syr I thanke God I haue ful- fylled it. For I haue sayd thus to daye in the mornynge and so dayly, the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me. To whome the con- fessour said. Nay I bad the say Agnus Dei miserere mei, that is, the lamb of God haue mercy vpou me : ye syr quod the penytente ye say truthe that was the laste yeare. But now it is a twelfemonthe since, and it is a shepe by this tyme. Therfore I muste nedes say nowe the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me. By this tale ye may perceyue that if holy scripture be expowned to the lay people onely in the lytterall sence. Peraduenture it shall do lytell good. f Of t^e tittgfcanlie tljat gapD $e frag Jotw Bain. IjcbL 1T IT happened dyuers to be in communica- cyon, amonge whome there was a curate or a parysshe preest and one John Dawe a parisshon of his \\hiche ii. had comniunicacyon more busy than other in thys maner. This preest thought that one myght nat by felynge knowe one from a nother in the darke. John dawe his parysshone of the contrary opinyon layde with his curate for a wager xl pence, wher- vpon the parysshe preest wyllynge to proue his wager wente to this John dawes house in the euenynge and sodenly gate hym to bedde with his wyfe where whan he began to be somwhat busye, she felynge his crowne sayde shortely with a loude voyce, by God thou art unt John dawe. That hearynge her husbande answered, thou sayest trouthe wyfe I am here John dawe, Therfore mayster persone gyue me the money for ye haue loste your xl. pence. By this tale ye may lerne to perceyue that it is no wysedome for a man to be couetous 91 of wynnynge of any wager to put in ieopar- dye a thynge that maye turne him to greatter displeasure. f Cf tljc scoter of otfotnc t'fjat ptoucD fcp goucgtr? ii djjkens tit. Ijcbit. IT A RYCHE Frankelyn in the contrey hauynge by his wyfe but one chylde and no mo, for the great affeccyon that he had to his sayd chylde, founde hym at Oxforde to schole by the space of ii. or iii yere. Thys yonge scoler in a vocacyon tyme for his disporte came home to his father. It fortuned afterwarde on a nyght, the father, the mother, and the sayd yonge scoler A lines wanting. haue studyed souestry, and by that scyence I can proue that these ii chekyns in the dysshe be thre chekyns. Mary sayde the father that wolde I fayne se. The scoller toke one of the chekyns in his hande and said, Lo here is one chekyn, and incontynente he toke bothe the chekyns in his hande iointely and sayd, here is ii. chekyns, and one and ii. maketh Hi. Ergo here is iii. chekyns. Than the father toke one of the chekyns to him selfe and gaue another to his wyfe and sayd thus. Lo I wyil haue one of the chekyns to my parte, and thy mother shal haue a nother, and because of thy good argumente thou shalte haue the thyrde to thy supper, for thou gettyst no more meate here at this tyme / whyche pro- myse the father kepte and so the scoller wente without his supper. By this tale men may se that it is great foly to put one to scole to lerne any subtyll scyence whiche bathe no naturall wytte. f 2Df tlje ftcte tljat jitale tfce poDjnje. Ijcimt. 1T A FRERE of London there was that on a sonday in the mornynge yerly in the soraer season came fro London to Barnette to make a colacyon, and was there an houre before hye masse began, and bycause he wolde come to the churche honestly / he wente fyrst to an ale house there to wype his shoes and to make him selfe clenly. In the whyche house there were podynges to sell, and dyuers folkes there 3, C. JKerg ^alg0 93 brekynge theyr faste and eatynge podynges. But the frere brake his faste in a secrete place in the same house. This frere sone after came to the church and by lycence of the curate entered into the pulpet to make a colacyon or sermon, And in his sermon there he rebuked sore the maner of them that met to breke theyr faste on the sonday before hye masse and said it was called the deuyls blacke brekefast. And with that worde spekynge as he dyd caste his armes out to make his coun- tenaunce, there fell a podyng out of his sleae, whiche he hym selfe had stolen a lytell before in the same alehouse, and whan the people saw that and specially they that brake theyr faste there the same mornynge and knewe well that the wyfe had complayned howe she had one of her podynges stolen, they laughed so moche at the frere that he incontynente wente downe out of the pulpet for shame. By this tale a man may se that whan a precher dothe rebuke any synne or vyce wherin he is knowen openly to be gyltie him selfe, suche prechynge shall lytell edefye to the people. 94 3, e f SDf t|it franfeeljnu gonne tljat cam to tafce 11 A CERTAYNE scoler there was intendynge to be made a preest whyche hadde nother great wytte nor lernynge came to the bysshoppe to take orders / whose folysshenes the bysshoppe perceyuynge because he was a ryche manncs sonne wolde nat very strongly oppose him but asked him thys questyon, Noye had thre sonnes, Sem, Came, and Japhete. nowe tell me who was Japhetes father? But the scoler was all abashed and knew nat what to answere: wherefore the bysshoppe sayde get the home and consider awhile and come agayne and soyle me this questyon and thou shalte haue orders. This scoler so departed and came home to his father and shewed hym the cause of the hynderaunce of his orders. Hys father beyng angry at his folisshenes thought to teche hym the solucyon of this questyon by a familier example, and called his spanyels before hym and sayd thus. Thou knowest well Colle my dogge bathe these iii. whelpes, ryg, trygge, and tryboll. a, er. i&en? &ai?0. 95 Muste nat all my dogges nedes be syre to tryboll. Than quod the scoler by God father ye sayd trouthe let me alone nowe, ye shall se me do well ynoughe the nexte tyme, wherfore on the morowe he wente to the bysshoppe agayne and sayd he coulde soyle his questyon. Than sayd the bysshoppe Noye had thre sonnes, Sem, Caine, and Japhete. Now tell me who was Japhetes father, mary syr quod the scoler if it plese youre lordeshyppe Colle my fathers dogge. By this tale a man may lerne that it is but loste tyme to teche a fole any thynge whiche hathe no wytte to perceyue it. f SDf tlje Jmsftannman t^at longpB t$e fretc in $i otone beB. to, 1T IT fortuned so that a frere late in the euen- ynge desyred lodgynge of a poore man of the countrey, the whiche for lacke of other lodg- yng glad to harborowe the frere lodged him in his owne bedde. And after he and his wyfe 7 The frere beynge a slepe, came and laye in the same bedde. And in the moruynge 96 3, after the poore man rose and went to the mar- ket leauyng the frere in the bedde with his wyfe, And as he wente he smiled and laughte to hym selfe. wherfore hys ueyghbours de- maunded of hym why he so smyled. He answered and sayd I laughe to thynke howe shamefaste the frere shal be whanne he waketh, whome I left in bedde with my wyfe. By this tale a man may lerne that he that ouershoteth hym selfe doth folysshely, yet he is more fole to shewe it openly. T Of tlje prr etc tljat toolne sap ttoo gospefs for a grote. IJCJH. 1T SOMTYME there dwelled a preest in Stret- forde vpon auyne of small lernyng which vndeuoutly sange masse, and oftentymes twyse on one day so it happened on a tyme after his secdnde masse was done in shorte space nat a myle from Stretforde, there mette with hym dyuers marchaunte men whiche wolde haue harde masse, and desyred hym to synge masse and he shuld haue a grote, whiche an- swered them and sayd. Syrs I wyll say masse no more this day, but I wyll say you two gospels for oue grote, and that is dogge chepe a masse in any place in Englande. By this tale a man may se that they that be rude and unlerned regarde but lytell the meryte and goodness of holy prayer. U Cf tije coutcar djat Opn cast tfjc frcrc ouet tl)t tote. It;cu. Too much damaged to dtcypktr, f 2Df tf&e ftere t^at precTjpB foljat tttenftj>0 soiuteft lucre. Ittiit. A PRECHER in pulpet whiche prechyd the worde of God t amonge other matters spake of inclines soules, and sayd that the soule was so subtyll that a thousande soules myght daunce on the space of the nayle of a marines fynger. Amonge which audyence there was a mery conceyted fellow of small deuocyon that an- swered and sayde thus. Mayster doctour if a thousande soules may daunce on a mannes nayle, I praye you than where shall the pyper stande. By this tale a man may se that it is but foly 8 98 a, er, to shewe or to teche vertue to them that hauc no pleasure nor mynde therto. r Cf tfjc t)ust>anDc tfjat crpcn lit inner rtje fcen. facto. , i,^ IN London there was a certayne artifycer hauyng a fayre wife to whom a lusty galante made pursute to accomplisshe his pleasure. This woman denyeng shewed the matter vnto her husbande, whiche moued therewith bad his wyfe to appoynte him a tyme to come secretely to lye with her all nyght, and with great crakes and othes sware, that agaynst his comyng he wolde be redy harneysed and wolde put him in ieopardye of his lyfe except he wolde make hym a great ameudes. Thys nyght was then appointed at whiche tyme this cour- tyer came at his houre and entred in at the chamber, and set his two hande sworde downe and sayde these wordes. Stande thou there thou sworde the dethe of thre men. This husbande lyenge vnder the bedde in harneys herynge these wordes lay styll for fere. The courtyer anone gate him to bed with the wyfe about his prepensed busynesse. And within 90 an houre or two the husbande beynge \very of lyenge beganne to remoue hym. The courtyer that hearynge asked the wyfe what thinge that was that remoued vnder the bedde, whiche excusyng the matter said it was a lytell shepe that was wonte dayly to go about the house. And the husbande that heryuge anone cryed ble as it had ben a shepe. And so in conclusyon whan the courtyer sawe his tyme he rose and kyssed the wyfe and toke his leaue and de- parted. And as sone as he was gone the hus- bande arose, and whan the wyfe loked on him somwhat abasshed began to make a sad coun- tenaunce and sayde y alas syr why dyd you*** The remainder of this tale is wanting. By this tale ye may se that he is not wyse that will put his confydence in bosters and great crakers whiche ofte tymes wyll do but lytell when it comes to the poynte. If ffl)f tie srtiomafccr tTjat asifcen ttie cotyet fcrfjat in $eH 1Mb. If A SOUTER syttynge in his shope that sawe a colyer come by, deryded hym because he was 100 3 r C. so blacke / and asked hym what newes from hell and howe the deuyll fared. To whome the colyer answeryd hym, he was well whan I sawe hym laste, for he was rydynge and waited but for a souter to plucke on his botes. . By this ye may se that he that vseth to deryde other folkes ( is somtyme him selfe more deryded and mocked. 1[ Of &e?itt peter tliat cmn cause tofce. ftrbi. f I FYNDE wjytten amonge old gestes howe God mayde saynt Peter porter of heuen, and that God of his goodnes sone after bys passyon suffered many men to come to the kyngdome of heuen with small deseruynge, at whiche tyme there was in heuen a great company of welchemen, whyche with theyr crakynge and babelynge troubled all the other, wherfore God sayde to saynte Peter that he was wery of them, and that be wolde fayne haue them out of heuen. To whome saynte Peter sayd, Good lorde I warrente you that shal be shortly done, wherfore saynt Pelerwente out of heuen gates and cryed with a loude voyce, Cause bobe. That is as mochc to saye, as rosted a, , JBerp alg0. 101 chese^ whiche thynge the welchemen herynge ranne out of lieuen a great pace. And whan saynt Peter sawe them all out he sodenly wente into heuen and locked the dore and so sparred all the welchemen out. By this ye may se that it is no wysdotne for a man to loue or to set his mynde to moche vpon any delycate or worldely pleasure wherby he shall lose the celestyall and eternall ioye. If SDf Tipm tl&at anuenturpD ioBp anD 0oule for fyt prince, fofctu 1T Two knyghles there were which wente to a standynge fylde with theyr prynce, but one of them was confessed before he wente / but the other weute into the felde without shryfte or repentaunce. Afterwarde thys prynce wanne the fylde and had the victory that day, wher- fore he that was confessed came to the prynce and asked an offyce and sayd that he had deserved it, for he had done good seruice and aduentured that day as farre as any man in the felde to whome the other that was unconfessed answered and sayd. Nay by the masse I am more worthy to haue a rewarde than he, for 102 a, he aduentured but his body for your sake, for he durst nat go the felde tyll he was confes- sed, * * * The remainder of tkit tale it mnllttg. 1T SDf tf)t parson tljat tftale t$e mjlnet'g tips!. TV* imperfect to decypher. f S3f t$e toelcljman tljat gate one ft. si. Better t^an V UPON a tyme certayn women in the coun- trye were appoynted to rferyde and mokke a frere limitour that vsyd moche to trouble them whereupon one of them a lytyll before the frere came tooke a hogge and for dysport leyd it 103 under the borde after the maner of a corse And told the frere it was her good man and dysyrd hime to say dirige for his soule / where- fore the frere and his felaw began Placebo and Dirige, and so forth thorough the seruyse full devowtly, which the wyues so heryng could not refraine them selfe from lawghynge / and went in to a lytyll parler to lawgh more at theyr pleasure. These freris somwhat sus- pected the cause and quikly or that the women were ware, lokyd under the borde and spyed that it was an hog sodenly toke it bytwene them and bare it homeward as fast as they might. The women seyng that ran after the frere and cryed com agayn maester frere come agayne and let it allone, nay by my faith quod the frere he is a broder of ours and therefore he must nedys be buryed in oure cloyster and so the frerys gate the hog. By this ye may se that they that use to deride and mok other somtyme it tornyth to theyre owne losse and damage. 104 3, e f >f t^je pardon ttjat gapBe masse of requiem for Crvstts jsoufe. Itttt. 1f A CERTAYN prest there was that dwellyd in the cuntry which was not very well lernyd Therfore on Ester euyn he sent his boy to the prest of the next town that was ii. myle from thens to know what masse he sholde synge on the morowe. This boy came to the sayd prest and dyd his maysters errande to hym. Then quod the prest tel thy mayster that he must * * Srceroi linft rattling. masse he shuld synge on the morowe. By my trothe quod the boy I have forgotten it, but he bad me tell you it began * * * * then quod the prest I trowe thou sayst trewth for now I remem&er me it is the masse of requiem t for God Almighty dyed upon good fryday and it is meet ice shulde say masse for hys soule. By this tale ye may se that when one fole sendyth another fole on hys errand hys besynes ys folyshly sped. 105 1T >f t$e !jerneman t^at gapue rpue apace pe gfoft '{jane rnvn. Irtrit. 5[ ^4 certayne skoler of Oxenford which had studied the iudicials of astronomy upon a tyme as he was rydyng by the way which came by a herdman and he asked thys herdman how far it was to the next town, syr quod the herdman it is rather past a mile and an half but sir quod he ye nede to ryde apace for ye shal Aaue a shower of rayn or ye com thider, what quod the skoler maketh ye say so / there ys no token of rayn for the cloudes be both fayr and clere / by my troth quod the herdman but ye shall fynd it so. The skoler then rode forth and it chanced or he had ryden half a myle forther there fell a good showre of rayn, that thys skoler was well washyd and wett to the skyn 7 the skoler then tornyd hym backe and rode to the herdman and desyryd him to tech him that connyng, nay quod the herdman I wyll not tech you my connynge for nought than the skoler profferyde hym xl. shyllyngs to teche hym that connynge the herdman after he had reseyuyd hys money sayd thus. Syr se you not yonder blacke ewe with the whyte face, yes J06 3, quod the skoler. Suerly quod the herdman when she daunsith and holdeth up her tayle ye shall haue a showre of rayn within half an howre after. By this ye may se that the connyng of herd- men and shepardes as touchinge alteracyons of weders is more sure than the iudicials of astronomy. f 2Df $tn tfjat gapDc 31 stjaK fjattc tteuer a pen?. lr.]tjctiu 51 IN a certayne towne there was a rych man that lay on his deth bed at poynte of deth whyche chargyd hys executours to dele for hys soule a certayne some of money in pence and on thys condicion chargyd them as they would answere afore God that euery pore man that cam to them and told a trew tale shulde haue a peny and they that said a fals thing shuld haue none and in the dole tyme there cam one whych sayd that God was a good man / quod the executours thou shall haue a peny for thou saist trouth. Anone came a nother and said the deuil was a good man, quod the executours there thou lyest therefore 107 thou shalt haue nere a peny. At laste came on to the executors and said thus ye shall gyue me nere a peny which wordes made the exe- cutors amasyd, and toke aduysment whyther they shuld * * * * The end of thin tale icantinf. f 2Df t$e $u(3fcamie t-fjat gaptie tips tojfc ann fje agrceB toefl. Too imperfect to dectjpher. If 2Df tt)c ptegt t^at i3apBe Comeue ept IT IN the tyme of visitacyon a bysshoppe \\h\che ****** a nd had gote many chyl- dren 7 prepared to questyon a preest what rule he kepte / whiche preest had a leman ***** and by her had two or thre small chyldren in shorte tyme before the .Bysshoppes commynge he prepared a rowme to byde his leman and children ouer in the rofe of his hall. And whan the bysshoppe was come and discoursing with him in the same hall hauynge x. of his owne chyldren about him. The preest who 108 3 t e coude speke lytell latyn or none, bad the bys- shoppe in latyn * * * * Comode episcope. This woman in rofe of the house hearing the preest say so, had went he had called her byddynge her come Ede, and answered him and sayde, shall I brynge my chyldren with me also. The bysshoppe hearing this sayde in sporte vxor tua sicut vitis abundans in late- ribus domus tiur. The preest than hallo amasyd answerd and sayd. Filii tui sicut nouellae oliuarum in circuitu mensae tua?. By this ye may se that they that haue but small lernyng som tyrne speke truely uiuul- uysed. f Sf ttje tooman tfat utale tV pot. 1T ON ashe Wednesday in the mornynge was a curate of a churche whyche had made good chere the nyght afore and sytten up late, and came to the churche to here confessyon, to whome there came a woman, and among other tbynges she confessed her that she had stolen a potte. But than because of greate watche that this preest had, he there sodenly felle aslepe. And whan this woman sawe him nat 2, C, JBerg alE0. 109 \\yllynge to here her, she rose and went her waye. And anone an other woman kneled down to the same preest and began to say y Benedicite / wherwith this preest sodenly awaked wenynge she had ben the other woman and sayd all angerly, what arte thou nowe at Benedicite agayne, tell me what dyddest thou whan thou haddest stolyn the potte. H flDf master to1)i>ttjntoni3 Dreme. fT SONE after one maister whyttington had bylded a colege on a nyght as he slepte he dreraed that he satte in his church and many folkes there also, and further he dremed that he sawe our lady in the same church with a glas of goodly oyutemente in her hande goynge to one askynge him what he had done for her sake, which sayd that he had sayd our ladyes sauter euery daye y wherfore she gaue him a lytel of the oyle. And anone she wente to ano- ther, * * * Several lines tcantinf. he had buylded a great college and was very 1 10 a, ec* gladde in hys mynde. Whan that cure ladye cam to hym / she asked him what he hadde suffred for her sake, this question made him greatly abashed because he had nothing to answer: wherefore our lady him informed that for all the great dede of buyldynge of a colege he must haue no parte of that goodly oynte- mente. By this ye may perceue that to suffre for Goddes sake is more acceptable to God than to buyld, or gyue great goodes. f Of rfje ptcgt tTjat fcillcD fjisi fjcrsc calleB moBtcug. Itt.tbtii. 11 A certayne Bysshoppe appoynted to go on visytacion to a preestes and bycause he would haue the preest do but lyttel coste vpon him / he told him to prepare but lytell meate y saying thus Preparas ***** modicus. This preest whychc uuderstode livin nat halfe well had * * * * wherfore he though te to obtayne the bysshoppes fauour, and therfore againste the bysshoppes comynge kylled his horse that was called modicus whereof the bysshoppe and his 111 seruauntes etc parte, whiche u?Acw the byss- hoppe knewe afterwarde was greatly dis- pleased. By this ye may se that many a fole dothe moche coste in makyng good chere at dyuera, whiche hathe but lytell thanke for his laboure. f 2Df tfje toeldjetnan t^at gtale rte cocfee. 5T A WELCHEMAN dwellynge in Englande fortuned to stele an Englysshemans cocke and set it on the fyre to sethe, wherefore thys englysheman suspecting the welcheman / came to his house and sawe the cocke sethyng on the fyre and said to the welcheman thus. Syr this is my cocke. Mary quod the welcheman and if it be thyne thou shalte haue thy parte of it. Nay quod the englyssheman that is nat ynoughe. By cottes blut and her nayle quod the welcheman if her be nat ynoughe nowe, her will be ynoughe anone for her hath a good fyre under her. 112 3, C. f fl)f |)pm tljat brought a botell to a preute. jcc. 1F CERTAYNE vycars of Poules disposed to be mery on a sonday at bye masse tyme, sente another madde felowe of tbeyr acquointance unto a folysshe dronken preest to gyue hym a bottell, whiche man met with the preest upon the toppe of the stayres by the chauncell dore and spake to him and sayd thus. Syr my mays- ter hath sente you abottell to put your drynke in because he can kepe none in your braynes. This preest therwith beynge very angry, all sodenly toke the bottell and with his fote flange it downe into the body of the churche upon the gentylmens hede. 1f f t$e enttptement of Jeuu of J3a?aret$. jccl. 1T A CERTAYNE Jury in the countye of Myd- delsex was enpaneled for the kynge to enquere of all endytements, murders, and felonyes. The persones of thys panel I were folyshe coue- tous and unlerned, for who so euer wolde gyue them a grote, they wolde affyne and verifye his byll whether it were true or fals withoute any profe or euydence, wherefore one that was * .S'omf lines ranting. loking on the grote and nothing on the byll as was their custome which byll whan it was pre- sented into the courte the judge said openly before all the people. Lo syrs here is the straungest byll tuer presented by an enquest, for here they haue indyted Jesu of nazareth for stelyng of an asse, which whan the people harde it, it made them all to laughe and to wonder at the folysshenes and shamefull per- iury of the Jury. By this ye may se it is great parell to enpa- nell men upon an enquest whiche be folysshe and haue but small witte or honesty. f 2Df tfie frere tTjat ptecljeD agapngt t!jem tfiat rone on tlje gonDaj. jccii. IT IN a certayne parryshe a frere preched / and said moche againt them that rode on the son- day ; euer lokyng upon one that was there spurred redy to ryde. This man perceuyng that the frere loked at hym sodenly halfe in angre / answered the frere thus, 7 meruayle 9 114 9, that ye say so nioche agaynste them that ryde on the souday, for Christe rode into Jerusalem on Palme sonday, as thou knowest well it is wrytten * * * To whome the frere sodenly answered and sayd thus. But knowe ye not also what came thereof was he nat hanged on the fryday after, whiche hearing* all them that were in the churche fell on laughynge. ; Cf tfjc one fcroDcr t^at founBe a purg. j-ciii. 11 THERE was a certayne man that had two sonnes \\n\yke eche other. For the eldyst was lustye and quycke and vsed moche betimes to walke into the fyldes. Than was the yonger slowe and vsed moche to lye in his bed as long as he myght. So on a day the elder as he was vsed rose erly and walked into the fyldes, and there by fortune he founde a purse of money and brought it home to his father. His father whan he had it wente strayght to hys other sonne yet lyenge than in his bed, and sayd to him. O thou slogarde quod he, seyst thou nat thyne eldest brother howe he by hys erly rysyng had fouude a purse with money, whereby we shall be greatly holpen all our 115 lyfe, whyle thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost thou no good but slepe. He than wyst nat what to say, but answered shortly and said, father quod he if he that hathe loste the purse and money had lyne in hys bedde that same tyme that he loste it as I do nowe, my brother had founde no purse nor money to day. By this ye may se that they that be accus- tomed in vyce and synne will alwaye fynde one excuse or other to cloke therewyth theyr vyce and vnthryftynes. f SDf t^c angtoere of t$e mattress to t$e jcciu. 11 A CERTAYNE wyfe there was whiche was somwhat fayre and as all women be that be fayre was somwhat proude of her beautye, and as she and her mayde satte together she as one that was desyrous to be praysed sayd to her thus. I faythe Jone howe thynkest thou, am I nat a fayre wyfe, yes by my trouth maistres quod she, ye be the fayrest that euer was excepte * * * Tht end ia fan tint 116 3, et f 2Df ttie northern man tliat toa0 alt $arte. jrcij. Of t Ait tale but a small fragment remains. f flDf t$e turnptige of ofDe 3Ioljn. jccbi. IT /n a certayne towne there was a wife some- what aged that had beryed her husbande whose name was John / whome she so tender/ye loued in his lyfe, that after hys dethe she caused an ymage of tymber to be made in forme and per- sone as lyke to hym as coulde be, whiche ymage she kept carefully under her bedde, and euery nyghte she caused her mayde to wrap the ymage in a shete and lay it in her bedde and called it olde John / Thys widowe had a prentyse whose name was John y whiche John wolde fayne haue married hys maystres^at for no great pleasure / but onely for her good sub- stance for she was ryche. Wherefore he ymagened howe he myght obtayne hys desire, and so The merchaunt lokyng on him thought that he had ben weeping and asked hym why he wept x this curtear not wyllynge to be known that he had brent his mouth with the hote custerd answered and said sir (\uod he I had a brother whych dyd a certayn offence wherfore he was hanged and chauncing to think now vppon his deth it maketh me to wepe / This merchaunt thought the courtear had said trew and anon after the merchaunt was disposid to etc of the custerd and put a sponefull of it in his mouth and brent liis 119 mouth also that his eyes watered this courtear that perceuyng spake to the merchaunt and seyd sir quod he pray why do ye wepe now. The merchaunt perseyued how he had bene deceiued t answered and said, Mary quod he I wepe because thou wast not hangid when that thy brother was hangyd. f Of t^e t$re pointed belonging to a s^tftou topfe. jet*, 1F A YON unan that was desirous to haue a wif cam to a company of PAilosofers which were gad red to gider requiring them to gif him, their opinion how be might chose him sich a wyf that wer no shrew. These Philo- ofers with gret study and delyberacion deter- minid and shewd this man that there were Hi. especial pointes wherebi he shuld sure know if a woman were a shrew, The f. point is that if a woman have a shril voyce it is a gret token that she is a shrew, The ii. point is that if a woman have a sharp nose then most cora- raenly she is a shrew, The iii. point is that 120 a, C. neuer doth mis that if she were kerchefer ye may be sure she is a shrew. T Of tlje man tljat papnteD rije Iamb upon Ijtg l. c. 1T A CONNING painter ther was dwelling in london which had a fayre yong wife and for thingis that he had to do went ouer se but because he was somwhat jelous he praed his wyfe to be content that he might paint a lamb upon her bely and praed her it might remain ther til he cam home again wherewith she was content after which lamb so painted he . i f f t)ii rfiat 0aj>Be ^e teas tlie DtueHe?! man. C)CtJ ................................ 1 IT f t^ie fcplanntsi'&e ptieut, t!iat pteac^eu of C&atttie. cfbti. ...................... 3 f 2n otlier 0a^fnge of t^e game preegt. cittit. 3 f SDf t^c fr^et ttiat prapsieB ssatnct JFtauncig. 4 f SDf |pm t^at ioatnen ^i0 iuife of %et face in foule punnell toater. cw ......... 4 f QDf t$e ^usffeann man t^at cattgen t$e taDge to geue fientcnce agapngt !jtm pelfe. cjcjct ...... 6 f f tlje Italian frier djat g^outne preac| iefore . of Some ann $10 carninalsJ. crjcii ..... 7 x {Table* Pag' f Of t\)c toctour t^at sapn, in Erasmus inorke? toete %ere0ie0. ctriii .................. y f f rije frier tfiat prrac!)eB at J9aule0 cro00e aga)>n0t Cra0ma0. crritj ................ 9 Y Cf an otljrr frier rtat tatrt Crasmus for toritpnj ermana t^eologia. tjcjcb. ... ..... 10 <" Of an otTjcr tljat tnurtjIjcB acjapnst t^c game CrasimujJ. crjcbi ...................... 10 f flDf fc^ng laictiarne t^e iii, anB t^e J!3ort^ern man. cjcjctiit .......................... H f f ttie Canon anD ^ii man. crrbtii ...... 11 f Of tijc same Canon ano I)t0 0apn man. crt:c. i^ f Of t^e gentilman tljat c^eckeD ^0 gctnant for tafte of rjngpng. crrr. .............. 12 f Of t$e ttpnue man anD Tiiji tope, crrri. . . . 13 ? f Ijim t^at 0oln ttoo IoBe0 of lje?._ cttyii. . 14 f tyoto a merp man Beui0en to cat people to a crrriii ........................ 15 f $oto t^e image of tlje tpuell toast logt ann gougljt. crrtiiii ...................... 18 f 2Df tlactia^, i^ng of flcgppt, ctrri>. x Page f 2Df Corar tTje a^ctorician, anB STigtag fy& gcoler. cjritjriji ........................ 19 f (3Df augttsstusi ann attienonoru^ ttje 21 f SDf t^c frencTje fcpttg ann t^e itontc 21 3n ortjer tale of t^e eame fretulje 4^ng. cwjcijc. 23 [ OT&at an 3!talpan frptt Bpn in rjrt. ............................ 25 f 2Df f&e Banne forceB t^at Bum not ctic. cicij. 1T A CERTAYNE Nunne with swellyng of hir bealie was be wrayed, to haue companied with a man. And beyng called before the couente, was right sharpely rebuked of the Abbesse, for puttinge of their house to so great a shame. She to excuse hir selfe, sayde, she was forced by a yonge man, that came into hir bedde chaumbre, agaynst whom (beynge stronger then she) it was in vaine for hir to striue, and force coulde not be imputed to hir for a cryme. Then sayde the Abbesse : thou moughtest haue bene helde excused, if thou haddest cryed. The Nunne sayed : so woulde I haue dooue, had it not beene in our Dortour, where to crye is contrary to our Religion. f flDf fcimt^at gapBeljetoasitfcelDiuefleiSinan. cjctt. 1T IN the ciuile seditious time of Edwarde the fourth and Henry the syxte, one chaunced to mete with a company, that quickly asked him : whose man art thou? Kinge Edwardes, quoth he, art thou so (quoth they ?) and all to beate him : For they were of Henries syde. Where- fore to the nexte company that mette him and demaunded whose man he was, he an- swered : kyng Henries. Art thou so (quoth they ?) and likewyse all to bete him. For they were on Edwardes parte. The Felow thus sore beaten, went foorth, and met with an other route, who asked him : whose man art thou? he beynge at his wittes ende what to saye, aunswered, the Dyuelles man, Than goe the dyuell goe with thee (saide they). Amen (quoth he) For it is the best maister that I serued this daie. By this tale ye maye perceiue how greuouse and perillous all ciuyle sedicions be, so doubt- full may it stand, that a man can not tel on which side to holde. For he that now is stronger an other tyme is weaker, as Fortune list to turne hir wheele. al?0 IT 2Df rfje bplantrisfje prtegt, tfiat preacljen of Cfjarttie. ctbtt. 51 A PRIEST in the countrey, not the wysest nor the best learned, preached to his parish- eners of charitie so vehemently, that he sayed plainely, that it was impossible for anye man to be saued or to come to heauen without cha- ritie, except onely the kynges grace, God saue hym. f 3n otfct gapinje of tit game preest. cjbtti. 11 BEFORE the kyuges Maiestyes commis- sioners sent downe intoo the realme in visyta- cyon, it chaunced the forsayd preest among other to appere : to whom one of the vysytours (guessyng quickly what docter he was) sayde : Mayster parsone, howe spende you youre tyme ? what rede you ? Forsoothe syr (sayd the preest) I occupy my selfe in readyng the new testament. That is very well done (sayd the commissioner). But sir I pray you, who made the newe Testament? That dyd (said the preest) kynge Henry the eyghte, God haue mercye vpon hys soule. f flDf tf&e frper tljat prapgeD 0atnct jFrauttctg. ejEtjc. 1F A FRYER preachyng to the people, extolled say net Frauucis aboue confessors doctours, vyrgins, martyrs, prophetes yea, and aboue one more than prophetes, John the Baptist, and finially aboue the Seraphicall order of angels, and stil he sayd, yet let vs goe higher: So whan he coulde go no further, excepte he shoulde put Christe out of hys place, wbiche the good man was halfe afrayed to do : hee sayd aloude, and yet we haue founde no fit place for hym. And staying a lyttell whyle, hee cryed out at laste, sayinge : Where shall we place Ibis holy father? A frowarde felowe standyng among the audeyuce, saide : If thou canst find none other, than set hym here in ray place. For I am weary, and so went his way. f Cf firm tljat foarneD Tjis toifc of iuassljpnge Ijct face in fottlc ptiUDclI toatcr. rrr. H A MAN dwellyng in the countrey, takynge his iourney, bad bys wife in his absence playe the good husewyfe, that he at his home com- Cale0 5 yng might finde all thynges well. Swete hus- bande (quoth she) commauude what ye wyll, and you shall fynde me obedyense in al thynges. Dere heart (sayd he) I wil you uo more but this one thynge, whiche is easye ynough to do. What is that (quoth she ?) That you wasshe not your face wyth this water, shewing hir a puddell in a donghill, foule blacke, and stinky nge. As oft as she in his absence went by that puddell, hir mynde was meruallously moued, for what cause hir husebande so diligently warned hir of that thynge onely. Nor shee coulde not perswade hir selfe, but that there was some great thynge in it. To be brefe, it tempted hir so, that she wasshed, that is, she defiled hir face. She loked in the glasse, and was greatly displeased with hir self. Yea, and it was foure or fyue daies after, er shee coulde wasshe out the stynke and steinyng Whan the good uianne came home, hee found his wyfe very pensife and lokiug angerly. What is the matter (quoth he) shee at laste coulde not forbeare, but blamed him for warnyng hir to wasshe in that water, and shewed hyin what had chauuced. L 6 iflerp alc0. Why wasshed you in it (quoth he ?) I gaue you warnynge, that you shoulde not wasshe therein, to the intente this harme shoulde haue not happned. By thys tale ye maye perceyue, that the more yee forbydde some women a thynge, the greater desyre they haue to do it. Y Of ttte fjupfcanB man tljat caugcu tfje iuBge to geue sentence against Ijtm gelfe. qcjci. 1T AN husband man in zeland came before the chiefe ruler of the countrey (whose bull had kyld the poore mans cow) and after he had leaue to speake, bee sayde: my bull leapyng ouer the dyche bathe kyld your cow, what is the law 1 The ruler, mistrustyng no deceit, answered : Thou muste paie for hir. Than, with licence, the poore man sayd : Sir, I failled in my tale : your bull hath kyld my cow The ruler beyng a little amoued, sayde. This is an other matter. The poore man sayd : Verely it is all one thyng : and you haue truely iudged. By this tale ye perceyue, that a wyse iudge wyll first know the cause well, and yet will not be hasty to geue sentence, the prouerbe biddeth thus : Judge righteously the cause of the pore and needy. f SDf ttie Italian frier tf&at sitioulDe preact) fceforc t&e 15. of Home anD $10 catDtnalsf. cjrjcti. 1T A FAMOUS frier in Italye, called Robert Liciens, appoincted to preache before the bishop of Rome and his cardynals) beinge in the pulpit, and beholdyng the bishop and his cardinals, enter into the churche with so great porape, noise, and rufflyng, that no king vse the lyke, and seyng the bishop borne by vi men, and beynge at great leysure set downe, and harkenyng what he would saye : he sayd nought elles but this : Phy on S. Peter, phy on S. Paule, and with rauyng he spit now on the ryght side, and nowe on the left syde : and so without more ado, shouyng through the preace, gat hym awaie, leauyng them all asto- nied : some tbynkyng hym to bee fallen into a furie : other supposyng him to bee fallen into some heresy, lewishe or Paganise belefe, that he so burst out intoo suche blasphemies, And whan it was consulted to laie hym in prison, a 8 cardinall, who knewe his wytte, and loued hym, perswaded, that he shoulde fyrste be called before the bishop and certayne cardi- nals ! to here what he would saye. And so beyng inquired, why hee burste out into so horrible blasphemies, he answered, that he had appointed a farre other argument : and in fewe woordes declared the whole summe of hys sermon : But whan I (sayde he) sawe you lyue so pompously, and in so great delites and pleasures : and on th 'other side consydered, howe homely, howe peyneful, and how harde a lyfe the Apostles ledde whose places you supplie, I gathered, that eyther they were mad, that by so sharpe a waye contended to come to heauen : or els you to holde the streight way to hell. But of you that beare the keyes of heauen, I could not perswade my self to deeme euill. Than what els could I do, but detest theyr foolyshnes? whiche whan thei might after this facion haue liued gloriously in all welth and pleasure, wold rather, all their life turment them selfes with watchynges fast- ynges, and other peynfull labours. 9?f tlje Boctottr ttjat jsajn, in QEragmug toorfceg ctttti. 11 A NOTABLE doctour, preachyng in a solemne audience, sayd : that in Erasmus workes were certayne heresies. Who beyng come out of the pulpit, was desired of a learned man, to shewe foorthe some place hereticall. Hee aunswered, that he had neuer red Erasmus bookes : hee began once to reade the woorke intitled Moria, but by reason it was so high a stile, he feared to fal into some heresy. f f tlfje frier tljat preacljeD at Patties crogge against Erasmus. crrtiK IT A GREAT clerke, noseld vp in scoole doc- tours, not well vnderstanding the latin stile and phrase, that than began to florishe apase, and hauynge smale acquaintaunce with the noble authours of the latyne tongue, saide : that Erasmus, with his rhetorikeand eloquence went about to corrupte the Byble. For this (quoth he) I dare be bolde to say : that the holy scripture ought not to be mingled with the eloquence of Tully, nor yet of Cicero. 10 K f an ortjer frier tljat taren ncj ermana rijeologia. crrfe. 1T A FRYER, that preached on a tyrae too the people, inueighed greatly agaynste Erasmus, because he in his booke called Enchiridion, preysyng the Apostles doctryne, sayde: that theirs was Germana theologia, that is to saye in englishe, the very ryght diuinitee : Lo (sayeth this dotishe fryer) here may ye see, what a man Erasmus is : he sayeth, there is no diuinite but inGermonie, where heretikes are specially fauored and maintayned. Cf an otljcr tljat tnuetg^eo agapngt tlje dame (Jcragmug. crtbt. 11 BECAUSE Erasmus wrote, that it wer better for the monke of the charterhouse to eate fleshe than to suffer his brother, Venire in capitis discrimen, that is to saye, than his brother should stand in ieoperdie of his life : this dotishe doctour interpretat his wordes thus : The charterhouse monke wer better eate fleshe, than his head shoulde a littell ake. By these tales we may se, what peuysshe 1 1 preachers haue been in this world: And be thei neuer sofoolishe, yet the ignorant people, lacking lerninge to iudge suche matters, thinke them selues well taught, when they be cleane misledde. IT f fcpng Sidjam t$e iii, ann ttjc JSott^ertt man. cjcrbii. 11 AFTER kyng Richard the iii. had vsurped the crowne of England, he to staye and sta- blishe the people, that sore murmured against his dooynges, sent for fyue thousand men out of the North partes vp to London : and as he was mustryng of them in Thickettes feelde, one of the souldiers, cam, and clappynge the kyng on the shoulder, said Diccon, Diccon, by the mis, ays blith that thaust kyng. f SDf ttie Canon ami fug man. 1T A CANON in Hereforde, that kepte a geod house, toke into his sei uice a gentilmans sonne, to trade and bryng hym vp, to wayte and serue at the table. So on a day the sayde canon, hauynge many strangers at bis bourd, made a signe to his man, that there wanted some thyng. 12 He nought perceuyng, cam to his maister and sayde : Sir, what lacke you 1 Seest not man (quoth he ?) They haue no bread on the table. Sir, saide his man there was enough euen now, if they woulde haue let it alone. 3Df rt$e 0ame Cation ann $10 gapD man. 1F THE same Canon an other tyme, bad his sayd seruant after supper, godowneand draw a cuppe of wyne, to make his guestes drinke at theyr departing, whom he had before taught, how he shuld take of the couer. So the yong man, bringyng the candell in one hand, and the cup of wine couered in the other : offred it vnto them : his mayster seyng that made a token to hym : He not knowyng wherfore, sayd : Sir, what woulde you haue ? Take of the couer (quoth his mayster) than holde you the candell (saide the seruaunt.) f fl)f tfa gcntthnan ffoat ctjecfceD fyjjS geruattt for talfce of tpnpjpng. cwjr. f A GENTJLMAN brought vp at London in an In of court, was maryed, and kepte an house in the countrey: And as he sate at supper 13 with his neygbbours aboute hym, vpon an alhalow daie at night, amonge other communi- cation, he talked of the solemne ringyng of the belles (as was the vsage than) his man, that waited on the table, sayd to his maister: sir, he that were this nyghte in London, shoulde here wonderfull ryngyng, and so began a tale. Hys mayster, not content with his talke, said : Hold thy peace foole wilt thou tel me of ring- ing in London? I know it (I trow) a lyttell better than thou. For I haue beene there an C. alhalow nyghtes. f 2>f t^e battue man ann l)i$ ioje. cjrjtirt. fl A CERTAYNE poore blynde man in the countrey was ledde by a curst boy to an house where a weddyng was : so the honest folkes gaue him meate / and at last one gaue hym a legge of a good fatte goose: whiche the boy receyuyng kept a syde, and did eate it vp hyin selfe. Anon the blyude man saide: lacke where is the leg of the goose ? what goose (quod the boy) I haue none. Thou liest (quoth the blinde man) I dyd smell it. And so they wente forth chidyng together, tyll the shrewde 14 boye led the poore man against a post: where liittMig his brow a great blow, he cryed out : A hoorson boy what hast tbou done? why (quod the boy) could you not smell the post, that was so nere ? as wel as the goose that was so farre from your nose 1 1f Of t)int ttjat isolB ttoo Tones! of $ep. cirjcicti. 1[ IN London dwelled a mery pleasant man (whiche for his tyme we may call makeshift) who beyng arrayed somewhat haruest lyke, with a pytcbeforke on his necke, went forth in a mornyng and mette with twoo lode of hey comeyng to the citieward, for the whiche he bargayned with the owners to paye xxx shil- lynges. whyther shall we bring them, quoth thei ? To the swan in longe lane by Smithfeeld (quoth he) And soo left them, and sped him thether the next waye. Whan he came to the good man of the swanne, he asked, if he would bye two good lodes of hey. Yes marie, sayde he: where be thei? Euen here they come (quoth makshyft) what shall I paye, sayde the inholder? foure nobles (quoth bee) but at length they agreed for xx. shilling, whan the 15 hey was come, makshyft bad them vnlode. So while they were doyng, he came to the inholder, and said : sir, I prai you let me haue my moiu'i : for while my men be vnloding, I wil goe into the citee to buy a littell stuffe to haue home with me. The good man was con- tent, and gaue it hym. And so he went his way. Whan the men had vnloded the hey, they came and demanded their money. To whom the inholder saide I haue paid your maister, what master (quoth they ?) Mary, quod he, the same man that made you bryng the hey hether, we know hym not, quod they, No more doe I (quod he) that same man bargained with me for the hey, and hym baue I payed : I neyther bought nor sold with you. That is not enough for vs, quod they, And thus thei stroue together, but what ende thei made I know not. For I thynke makeshift came not againe to agree them. f $ol]} a mcrp man ncutsscn to cat people to a plape. 11 A MERY man called Qualitees, on a tyme sette vp billes vpon postes aboute London, that 16 who so euer woulde come to Northumberlancle place, should here suche an antycke plaie, that both for the mattier and handelyng, the lyke was neuer heard before. For all they that sboulde playe therin were gentilmen. Those bylles moued the people (whan the daye came) to come thyther thycke and thre- folde, Now he had hyred two men to stande at the gate with a boxe (as the facion is) who toke of euery persone that came in, a peny, or an halfe peny at the least. So whan he thought the market was at the best, he came to the gate, and toke from the man the boxe with money, and geuynge theym their duitie, bade them go into the hall, and see the rome kepte : For hee shoulde gooe and fetche in the plaiers. They went in, and he went out, and lockt the gate faste, aud toke the key with hym: and gat hym on hys geldynge, whicbe stode ready saddilled without Aldryshegate at an In, and towarde Barnet he roade a pace. The people taryed from twoo a clocke tyll three, from three to foure, styll askyng and cri- yng: Whan shall the plaie begyn? How long shall we tarye ? whan the clocke stroke foure 17 all the people murmured aud sayed : wherefore tarye we any longer] Here shall be no playe. Where is the knaue, that hath beguyled vs liyther? It were almes it thruste a dagger throughe hys chekes, sayeth one. It were well done to cutte of hys eares sayeth an other. Haue hym to Newgat sayeth one, nay haue hym to Tyburne sayed an other. Shall wee loose our money thus saieth he ? Shall we bee thus beguiled sayeth this man ? shulde this be suffered saieth that man? And so muttrynge and chydyng they came to the gate to goe oute : but they coulde not. For it was fasie lockt, and Qualitees had the key away with him. Now begynne they a freshe to fret and fume: nowe they swere and stare: now they stampe and threaten. For the locking in greeued them more: than all the losse and mockery before : but all auayle not. For there muste they abide till wayes may be founde to open the gate, that they maye goe out. The maidens that shoulde haue dressed theyr mais- ters suppers, they wepe and crye, boyes and prentises sorow and lament, they wote not what 18 to say whan tliei come home. For al this foule araye, for al this great frai, Qualites is mery ridyng on his waie. r ttoto tlK image of tljc CpttcU toa0 tost atiD ssottj'fjr. cttritii. IT IN the Goldesmithes hall, amonge theyr other plate, they had a fair standyng cuppe, with an image of S. Dunstane on the couer, whiche image hadde an image of the dyuell at his foote. So it chaunced at a banket that the sayed image of the dyuell was lost and gone, on the morow after, the bedyll of the company, was sent about to serche amouge the goldesmythes, if any suche came to be sold. And lyke as of other he enquired of one, if any man had brought to hyni to be solde, the foole that sate at sainct Dunstanes foote vpon the couer of the cuppe. What foole rneane you, quoth he, Mary the diuell, sayde the bedill. Why, quoth the other, call ye the diuell a foole ? ye shal find him a shrewd foole, if ye haue ought to do with hym. And why seke you for him here amonge vs? where shoulde I els seke for hym (sayde the bedill.) Mary in hell, quoth he, for there ye shall be sure to fynde the dyuell. T SDf fJTacljasi, fejms of flegppt, ann 11 WHAT tyme Agesilaus, king of the Lacede- monians, was come to Tachas the kyng of Egipt, to aide him in his wars : Tachas behold- yng Agesilaus to bee a man of so litel stature and sinal personage tauntyng hym with this scoffe, sayde : The mountayne hath trauayled, lupiter forbode, but yet bee ha the broughte forth a mouse. Agesilaus, beynge offended wyth hys saying, answered : and yet the tyme wyl come, that I shall seeme to the a Lyon. And not longe after, it chaunced through a sedycion that arose amonge the Aegypcyans, whan Agesilaus was gone from him, the king was constreyned to flee to the Persians. f (Df Com tlje 3GUjetorictan, anu Cigtau fy& sscoler. 11 A CERTAYNE man called Corar, determyned hym selfe for mede to teache the arte of Rhe- 20 iHcrp alea. torycke : with whom a yong man named Tisias, couenanted on this wyse that he wold pay him his wages, whan he had perfectly learned the scyence. So whan he had lerned the art, he made no haste to pay his teacher, wherfore hys raayster sued hym. Whan they came before the Judges, the yonge man demaunded of hys mayster, what was the effecte of the scyence ? he aunswered In reasonyng to per- swade. Than go to if I perswade these honour- able Judges, that I owe you nothing, I wil pay you nothyng, for you are cast in your action. And yf I can not perswade them, than wil I pay you nothing, because I haue not yet per- fectly learned the art. Corar wrestyng the yonge mans owne argument agaynst hym selfe, said : If thou perswade them, that thou ought- este me nothynge: than (accordynge to the couenaunt) thou must nedes pay mee my wages, for thou baste the art perfectly. Now yf thou canst not perswade them yet shalt thou pay mee my wages, because thou arte condemned by the ludges sentence to be my detour. ale0 21 Of aujugtuji ann arijenonorug tTje IT WHAT tyme Athenodorus the Phylosopher had (by reason of hys greate age) obteyned lycence of Auguste, to depart home, he admo- nysshed him, that beyng angry, he should neyth saye nor dooe any thyng, before he had by hym selfe rehearsed ouer the. xxiiii. Greeke letters. Whych saying whan the prince heard, he sayed : he had yet nede of him, to teache hym the arte to keepe sylence, by fcoloure whereof he retayned the olde man about hym a whole yere longer. By this tale we maie perceyue, that of al things a prince, a ruler, a Judge ought specy- ally to eschewe wrathe. For the morall booke sayeth: Anger troubleth the mynde, that it can not discerne the truth. And Seneca wry- teth, that slowe tarryinge doeth profile in nothyng but in wrathe. f 2>f tfce ftendje fcpng ann tlje brome ssefler. 1T As a frenche kyng on a tyme was in huntyng, he hapned to lose his companie, and comyng M 22 through a brorae heath, he herde a poore man and his wife piteously complayne on fortune. The kyng, after he had wel heard the long lamentacion of theyr poore and miserable state, came vnto them, and after a few words he questioned with them howe they liued : They shewed him, how they came daily to that heath, and all the brume, that thei and their asse coud cary home, was lyttell enough to fhide theim and their poor children meat. Well (quoth the kyng) Loke that you bryng to morow early to the court gate, as many bromes as you and your asse can carye, and see that you sell them well. For I warrant you thei shalbe bought apase. They thanked hym, and so he departed from them, Anon came the lordes, knightes, and gentilmen to the kinge, and home they rode. After supper the kyng called them all before hym, and gaue them in commaundement that neither lord knyght, nor gentilmau, should on the morow come into the courte, wythout a new brome in his hande. For he had a thyng to doe, whiche they shoulde know afterwarde. So on the morowe whan they come to the court gate, there found they 23 the poore man, his wife and the asse loded with bromes, whiche hee solde to the galauntes of the court, euen as he wolde him selfe. Wherby the sayd poore man was made riche for euer and they lyttell the woorse. Thus whan the kynge sawe the states and gentilmen of his court come in so wel furnished with grene bromes, and consydring the cause wherfore it was, he laughed merilye. f 3n ot^et tale of tTje game frenrfje i^ng. cjcwijc. fl THERE chaunced in a certaine part of the realme, an offyce to fal into the kings handes by the deth of a man which was worth a. cccc. crounes by the yere. An honest witty gentil- man, dwelling therby, trustyng to obteyne the sayde oflyce, made as good speede to the courte as hee could, and as soone as he might come to the kynges presence, he kneled downe, and in most humble wise desired his grace, to geue vnto hym that offyce, declaring what it was. The king perceiuing how good an office it was, and thinking therwith to rewarde some suche one of hys seruauntes, that had well 24 jftctv ale0, deserued it, answered quickely, and sayd : My frend be content, you get it not. The gentil- raan heryiig those wordes, sayd : I most hertely thancke your grace, both I and myne are mooste bounden to praye for your hyghnesse : And so makynge lowe obeysaunce, wente his waye. Whan he had gone a lyttell waye, the kyng commaunded to call hym againe. Whan he was come backe, the kyng asked him if he dyd well vnderstand, what answere he gaue hym. Yes truely, sayd the gentilman. What sayd I, quoth the kynge ? Marye your grace bad me bee contente, for I shoulde not haue the offyce. Why dyd you than (quoth the kyng) geue me so great thankes, because sayde the gentylman, your grace gaue me so sone an answere, without longer suite and losse of tyme, whiche would haue bene to me a very muche byndraunce. For I haue at home a great householde, vnto the which it behoueth me to loke dylygently, or els it wyl be wrong wyth me. The kynge markynge well the wyse- dom and dexterytee of the gentylman, and conceyuyng a fauoure towarde hym, sayd : Wei, nowe shal you thanke me twyse : for you shall haue the offyce that you sewe for : and thancastynge hys eyes vpon hys Chauncellonre, comtnaunded hym, that all suche wrytynges as concerned hys sayd offyce, shoulde wyth al speede bee made oute, that he were at home agayne to ouerloke hys famyly. f JITfjat an Sltalpan frper DJB in f^g preacTj^ng. cjrf. 51 ROBERT Lyciense: a fryer of Italye (of whome we spake before) preachyng on a tyme, with great vehemencye of wordes and gesture, exhorted the prynces and people to make warre agaynste the Turkes and other the enemies of chrystendome : and whan he came to the very effect, and moste hotte and earnest in his tale, he began to wepe, that there were none, that wold to so godly a purpose, offer them selfe to be capitains, If this be the let of the mat- tier : beholde me here, whiche will be nothynge abasshed to cast aside this grey friers coate, and to take vpon mee to be a souldiour, or your capitaine. And euen with that woorde he caste of his vpper coate and vnderneth he was a playne souldiour, arraied in a Skarlet 26 cloke, and a long rapier hangeyng by his side. And in this warlyke apparell, in the personage of a Capitan, he stode and preached halfe an houre. Being sente for of the Cardinals with whom he was familiar, hee was asked what was the pretence of that new example: he answered, that he did it for his wenches plea- sure, who familiarly confessed that nothynge in the sayd Robert displeased hir, saue his friers coate. Then saide he to hir: In what apparell shal I best plese you ? In a man of warres quoth shee ? Than se that you be at my sermon to morow, quoth he. 3!mprtnten at JLonBon in JFIetegtme, Jt)enrp Cum prtutlegto an imprt* mettnum uolum. t REPRINTED BY C. WHITTINGHAM, .AT THE CHISWICK PRESS. M DCCC XV. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY Los Angeles This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. Form L9 Series 444 A 000034190 9