UCSB UBfflMTT Mtnwiv* LONDON: PRINTED FOR GEO. B. WHITTAKER, AVE-MARIA-tANE. 1825. Printed by R. Gilbert, St. John's-square, London. MEMOIRS OF MONKEYS. THE witty, accomplished, and elegant translator of Ariosto has commenced his admirable jeu d'esprit with the pro- found conjecture, that we should be much better informed of the habits of animals, and of monkeys in particular, if we were only in possession of the log-book of Captain Noah. I am not prepared to dispute with him on so important a point, but must express 2 MEMOIRS OF MONKEYS. my surprise, that so obvious a thought did not occupy the attention of the learned divine of whom I shall pre- sently speak. The writer of these pages has no pretension to the erudi- tion of the author of the anecdotes, and shrinks from the idea of pursuing his researches on so extended a scale as " per mare per terras ; " he in- tends to cursorily commence with the creation, and pursue his subject, inter- spersed with a few episodes, through those principal branches of philoso- phy, and elegant amusement, in which the monkey genus have excelled, with 3 MEMOIRS OF MONKEYS. such digressions, either pathetic, tra- gical, or ludicrous, as may suit his means for it is well known that every man must cut his coat according to his cloth. ANTEDILUVIAN MONKEYS. DOCTOR ADAM CLARKE has posi- tively affirmed, in his critical and ex- planatory notes on Genesis, that the Antediluvian monkeys possessed ex- traordinary powers, powers of fasci- nation far beyond the beaux of modern days. The Doctor unequivocally de- clares, that one of them beguiled our mother Eve, and thus caused all the evil incident to the human and animal creation. It might appear captious if . ANTEDILUVIAN MONKEYS. 5 I were to more than suggest, that the monkey tribes do not appear to crawl on their bellies, and that it is not their universal practice to bruise or bite our heels, and that we do not crush their heads farther on this subject I dare not proceed lest I should unintention- ally appear irreverent. It may be as well en passant to men- tion a case, (recalled to my memory by the learned doctor's commentary,) of, FELO DE SE. IN the ship which conveyed the illustrious diplomatist and traveller Sir G. O. to his native shores, was a mon- key of exquisite sensibility ; the gene- ral benevolence of Pug's disposition was evinced by the gentleness and amiableness of his manners to every one on board. No mortal creature is free from imperfection ; my readers must therefore think charitably of poor FELO DE SE. 7 Pug when they learn, that he was clearly convicted of lashing a milch goat to a gun tackle and emptying her ud- der into a marine's hat, and then feast- ing on the luscious draught, which was destined for the breakfast of the cap- tain and his illustrious guest. Several were accused of this heinous crime, and one poor urchin was on the point of suffering castigation on the very spot where Pug had so adroitly fas- tened his captive, when he was seen peeping from underneath the main chains through the port-hole, with his beard yet white with the milk he had FELO DE SE, stolen. The trembling boy was let go, and Pug after much difficulty caught and confessed, by his chatter- ing and supplications, that he was the culprit. The punishment inflicted on the delinquent was uncommon, but judiciously adapted (more so than in our seminaries) to his character : the captain ordered that Pug should be sent -to Coventry, and at the same time declared, that any man who encou- raged his advances should lose his grog for a week ; this mandate had the desired effect; poor Pug was of too social and benevolent a disposition FELO DE SE. 9 to be proud and rely on his indepen- dent resources for amusement, but went from berth to berth soliciting his wonted reception ; all his former asso- ciates cut him : he retired crest fallen and sorrowful, but renewed the at- tempt for two successive days ; find- ing them inexorable, he came on deck, mounted the top of the ham- mocks stowed in the waist netting, and tried by various tricks to attract an old and fond companion, who turned away ; this was more than poor Pug could bear, he looked at his cold-hearted friend, chattered his 10 FELO DE SJS. woe, placed his hands above his head, threw himself backwards into the deep, and sunk to rise no more. DIFFERENT CASES OF A SIMILAR NATURE. THE negroes ascend the trunk of the palm-tree, by the aid of a ladder or a moveable scaffold, for the purpose of obtaining the palm wine. A large species of monkey, remarkably fond of the wine, carefully observes the man- ner in which it is obtained, and avails himself of the first opportunity to mount the scaffolding and seize the 12 FELO DE SE. prize. The negroes invariably pre- tend to drink off a calabash of wine, then draw, with apparent violence, the back of a large knife across their throats, and place a sharp two-edged knife near the calabash. The watch- ful rogue seeks his booty as soon as the negro retires, and having drank it, imitates him by drawing the two-edged knife across his throat, and thus in- flicts the punishment of death for his felony. We will leave these melancholy sub- jects and turn to others of a lighter FELO DE SE. 13 character, which will raise our estima- tion of their propensities for elegant and fashionable amusements. DANCING MONKEYS. THE frequenters of the Opera and Astley's, and all other human beings, civilized or barbarous, accord in opi- nion on the subject of dancing ; it would therefore be superfluous to say more on this attractive occupation, than, that the degree of proficiency any nation has reached in this " sci- ence " marks the point of civilization it has attained. The natural, modest, DANCING MONKEYS. 15 and easy attitudes of our figurantes, when either standing with goose-like powers on one leg, while the other is extended at right angles, or when they twirl round, (faster than a Dutch vrow in the spinning cage in which women are put when brawling in the market place) and distend their petticoats so as to display their limbs, are unde- niable proofs of the above position. In a word the more difficult the move- ment the greater the refinement. It is clear, that to dance on a slack rope is more difficult than to perform on a spring floor, now this difficult perform- 16 DANCING MONKEYS. ance was displayed to thousands, not two years since, by four accomplished monkeys. They swung, turned, walked, pirouetted, and hand in hand danced a hornpipe, and then each a pas seul, that would have roused even the praises of Lepicq and called for the encomiums of Vestris. Even the graver and more admired kind of dance has been practised with success. The Marquess di Bee- ca when appointed to attend the Court of Louis DANCING MONKEYS. 17 XVI. carried with him a favourite monkey. On his arrival at Paris a great ball was to be given at Versailles to which he was invited. Anxious to excel among the noble guests, he sum- moned the most celebrated master in the French capital, and applied himself with diligence to attain, under his tui- tion, a perfect knowledge of the minuet de la cour. Pug observed every mo- tion of his master, and chattered at his powdered instructor playing on the kit while accompanying his pupil through the mazes of the dance. After the lesson was finished the marquess placed a 18 DANCING MONKEYS. large mirror on the floor and practised before it until he was tired. Pug de- scended from his observatory, as soon as his master had left the room, put his chapeau bras on his own head, took the kit which the professor had accidently left behind him, placed his august person before the mirror, and began to combine the dancing of his master with the chattering and fid- dling of his preceptor. Strange dis- cordant sounds being heard to come from the room, the marquess gently approached it, and, through a cre- vice of the door, detected poor Pug DANCING MONKEYS. 19 in thus gratifying his vanity by follow- ing the example of the embassador. The sincere lover of truth is not to be deterred from narrating circum- stances which are extraordinary be- cause he exposes himself to the incre- dulity of the narrow-minded, the con- tumely of the antiquarian, (whose pur- suits are so far removed from nature as to be almost useless,) * or the forced derision of those who are too grave to be wise, therefore I shall now proceed to speak of a * Vide Sir Isaac Newton. THEATRICAL MONKEY. THIS monkey was a follower of fashion, he voted tragedy a bore, and comedy vulgar, but admired spectacle since, during the exhibition he might chat- ter, or be amused without thought, and without exertion. It was holiday time ; a magic lantern was prepared for the amusement of a party of urchins and older children. Pug was of the number, evincing THEATRICAL MONKEY. 21 ecstasies of delight at the exhibition. Although he had chattered and en- tered into the hilarity of his compa- nions he had not been deficient in ob- servation. The following evening the performance was to be repeated. The lamp ready trimmed, the painted glasses, and the remainder of the ap- paratus were put in order on the stand. Pug, in some unknown way, entered the theatre, lighted the lamp, and be- gan the performance ; the three first glasses he accidentally inverted, and the representations were perfect, Pug's delight far exceeded what he had en- SS THEATRICAL MONKEY. joyed the preceding evening, and he continued to chatter and change the glasses ; alas ! he failed to invert the fourth, fifth, and sixth, and his counte- nance fell ; he looked at the sheet, then at the lamp after that he examined the glass, and having scolded it, again en- deavoured to produce the desired pic- ture, but failing, became angry, with- drew the glass, and after grunting and chattering at it broke it to atoms : the movement to accomplish this, displaced the lamp ; so on the next attempt mat- ters were still worse; the refractory behaviour of the lamp, Pug considered THEATRICAL MONKEY. O as an insult to his dignity, and with loud chattering and anger, spurned it from him as violently as the hero Alnaschar spurned the basket of china on which all his hopes were founded. The crash and clamour alarmed the domestics, who ran and discovered Pug, like Caius Marius at Carthage, mourning over the ruin he had wrought. The celebrated S b, who had watched the performer from behind the sheet, came forward and saved poor Pug from being fla- gellated. MONKEYS AMATEURS OF MILLINERY. * IT has often been said, but I think without more foundation than exists for nine-tenths of the opinions in com- mon use on common topics, that a wo- man's general taste is to be ascertain- ed by the taste she displays in dress. As the fashion in dress changes on an average once a quarter, and as mammas and chaperons often induce "'<"';, MONKEYS AMATEURS, &C. 25 their daughters and wards to make ugly figures of themselves in compliance with fashion, the position may be questioned. Not many years ago I was amusing myself at Exeter Change when a beau of the first water and a belle of the newest mode entered the room. The truth of the words " Birds of a feather flock together" was exemplified, by their immediately entering upon an acquaintance with numerous monkeys occupying the cages in different parts of the place. 26 MONKEYS AMATEURS Being well supplied with nuts and bis- cuits they attracted as universal admi- ration as a young man of known for- tune does in an assemblage of general society. The eagerness of the belle to bestow her favours on a rib-nosed baboon induced her to bend her head towards a cage near the floor. This act, evincing a decided preference, ex- cited the jealous envy of a green monkey in the cage above, who seized, with uncommon quickness and dex- terity, about four inches in breadth of the front of her Leghorn bonnet, trimmed on the inner edge with lace OF MILLINERY. 27 like the valance of a curtain, and tore it off as neatly as if a seamstress had ripped it away with a pair of Palmer's or Shorto's best scissors. Pug's ecs- tasy at his success was made known by a peculiar chattering which attracted the attenjjion of all his companions, who were as eager to deprive him of the capture, as men are to possess themselves of that which they have missed by neglect, but which one more diligent and skilful has obtained ; the belle cried bitterly as she ex- claimed : " The beast has torn off all my Brussels lace and spoilt my 28 MONKEYS AMATEURS new Leghorn ! " Pug, with fashion- able indifference at another's loss or sorrow, immediately converted the broad and ornamented remnant into a bonnet for himself, and danced to and fro, gabbling and exhibiting himself to his brethren, Wjho looked on him with the natural envy often displayed at superiority of appearance or acquirements. Pug did not long en- joy his vain glory, since the cries of the mademoiselle for her lace attracted the notice of the keeper, who, running towards the spot with a cane in his hand, and a pun in his mouth, cried OF MILLINERY. 29 out, " I'll lace en." Pug saw the dan- ger with which he was threatened, and instantly separated the Brussels trim- ming from the straw, and, melancholy to relate, crammed it into his capacious pouch, and threw the straw to the baboon who dwelt below him. The beau, during this scene, stood by twitch- ing his leg with a slight riding whip, and saying, "Bless me, how "unfortu- nate good mercy see how he stuffs it into his mouth well, what a figure he has made of you pray, keeper, can't you make him spit it out ?" and other speeches of equal importance. The 30 MONKEYS AMATEURS, &C. attempts were fruitless, and they left the menagerie without expressing their distinguished approbation of the con- duct and condition of the animals. AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. THAT monkeys frequent exhibitions at Somerset House and the British Insti- tution, as well as give the encouraging nod to Ph-l~ps and St 1-y, (I dare not add C , since he is a scholar, a gentleman, and a very good auc- tioneer of pictures he conscientiously approves *) and that many monkeys * A few years back Mr. C was selling a great assemblage of Eastern gods and goddesses, Smam- 32 AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. exhibit their imitated wares at these marts, does not admit of a doubt ; therefore it would be illiberal to think that their hairy kindred have not mies, Jossess, and other useful objects of virtu, to col- lectors of various genera. On proposing for sale an anomalous mutilated mis-shapen squatting figure, with- out a nose, and whose eye had been plucked out, he looked round the room and with laudable gravity thus addressed a knot of buyers, who bought merely to be looked at and mentioned in some morning paper. *' This, gentlemen, appears to have been formed about that eventful era, when Amenophis, and all his Mem- phian chivalry, were overwhelmed in the Erythrean gulf." " Omne ignotum pro magnifico est." A competition ensued and the dump sold for a great price. AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. 33 some taste on matters referring to the fine arts. The oran outan was discovered in a flannel gown reclining in a low chair, with his feet on a stool, bu- sily employed turning over the leaves of Buffon : on reaching the delinea- tions of the different kinds of mon- keys, he became deeply interested and chattered to himself; his interest was converted into intense pleasure on coming to an engraving of his species, he pointed to the print, then patted himself, grinned, and looked at those 34 AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. around him, while he chattered in a tone and manner different to what he had ever been heard to utter. Though this instance is sufficient to shew the capability of the tribe to admire, if not to appreciate, works of art, it is by no means as conducive as the follow- ing circumstance. The favourite monkey of a cele- brated amateur and connoisseur, who usually inhabited the gallery where some of the most splendid works of the greatest painters were suspended, and where many precious gems were en- AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. 35 closed in cases, had certainly opportuni- ties of observing the various gestures of the delighted amateurs who visited this splendid collection. Pug having es- caped from his chain and basket, first mounted the table, where he demolish- ed the remnants of a mince pie, and threw the dish into the fire ; thus pre- pared he soon fixed his longing eyes on a fine specimen of fruit by Van Huysum : he tried in vain to get first a plum and then a grape, but all his efforts proved fruitless : he then de- scended, and taking a hand mirror from the table, placed himself opposite 36 AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. to the picture, holding his head a little on one side, and the glass before his eyes, while he made various motions with his other paw, and gabbled as if he prated on the touch, light, shade, and finish of the picture. At length tired of the subject, he hurled the mir- ror at the Van Huysum, and skipped off to pursue his examinations. He went through the usual amateur manu- al exercise before a Rubens, gabbered at a Carravaggio, and did so very naughty an act on a questionable draw- ing by Raphael, that W. W , who entered at that moment with a port- AMATEURS DE TABLEAUX. 37 folio, and saw the drawing nearly ob- literated, flew with his umbrella at poor Pug, who scampered to the upper edges of the frames, and would have dashed two small beautiful examples of Poussin at his persecutor, if S 1, who had been attracted to the spot by the noise, had not exchanged for them with Pug two apples and some barley sugar drops, and congratulated himself on his bargain. CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. A NAVAL hero who, some time in the present century, captured a valuable island with a small squadron of fri- gates, possessed a fine strapping mon- key which he sometimes placed at table as a guest ; at other times it was his pleasure to array him in the uni- form of a captain, which always de- lighted Pug, and made him to all ap- pearance a polished gentleman; (an effect sometimes produced on men by CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. 39 the dignified conduct of their supe- riors) he touched his cocked hat when an officer appeared on deck, and in- variably walked the weather side, imi- tating the enquiring look of the officer of the watch, and often putting his paw above his eyes to facilitate his examin- ing whether the sails were well trim- med, and the weather braces and bow- lines hauled taught ; if Pug perceived a rope yarn dangling any where aloft, or a rope's end over the edge of a top, his agitation became extreme, he chat- tered, stamped, and scolded worse than a Xantippe, and never ceased until his 40 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. orders were obeyed, when he again resumed his stately walk, eyeing with triumphant malignity the midshipmen who were compelled to pace the lee side in the draft of the mizen stay-sail. Some idea was entertained of rating Pug an able seaman, since he could go aloft, reef and furl, heave the lead, and take the wheel; the intention was abandoned, for Pug delighted to heave the lighter lead, and enjoyed to see it sink into the clear deep sea, but he would never call the fathoms correctly, and often refused to haul up the lead he had cast ; his conduct at the wheel CONSIDERATE MONKEYS, 41 was equally unworthy of trust, for though he would put it a starboard or to port, as the quarter-master conning the ship ordered, and look with a know- ing eye at the compass, yet he would now and then take a freak into his head, and, before the other helmsmen could stop him, either bring the ship to the wind or keep her away, and then scamper off chattering and pleased with the bustle he created. On board the same frigate was ano- ther monkey of a small species, for whom the great one had formed a 42 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. very sincere affection. These friends had entered into a league offensive, defensive, and of mutual co-operation. The chief duty of the little fellow was to receive and deposit all the property stolen by the other, in some place of security, and also to warn him of any approaching danger. The first great exploit committed by these friends was one which proved the reflection and foresight of the larger, and the worldly knowledge of the latter. This hero sometimes amused himself by giving to the larger ample pinches CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. 43 of prince's mixture from a golden snuff-box of great value. Pug's ol- factory organ was too delicate to bear such applications without being sub- ject to that spasmodic convulsion, which we denominate sneezing, to a degree that convulsed his whole frame, and made him throw himself into the most laughter-stirring positions. Pug, like a prudent fellow, did not wish to come to an open breach with a pow- erful commander, and therefore re- flected at his leisure on the best me- thod of preventing the repetition of an amusement by which he suffered. He 44 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. was seen in apparent consultation with his little friend, and shortly after the golden snuff-box disappeared. The steward was examined, the cabin searched, and every enquiry made for this valuable article. The master at arms and ship's corporal were di- rected to be on the alert, and to ex- amine all suspected persons. It was observed, that the monkeys were more retired than usual, and that the little fellow was oftener than com- mon peeping into his master's (one of the midshipmen) chest, while his com- CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. 45 rade either prowled at a distance or sat upon the top. The midshipman had been away on duty for two days, on his return his messmates informed him of the loss of the box, and incidentally mentioned the uncommon behaviour of his monkey. The youth smiling replied : " Meike (the little fellow's name) always uses my chest for his store- house, indeed I give him a till, and go shares in all his plunder of fruits and good things, and we always agree about the spoil perhaps he has put 1(5 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. the box there." An immediate ex- amination took place, notwithstanding the anger of Pug and the chattering of Meike ; the result, as might be ex- pected, was the lost treasure carefully concealed beneath a heap of linen and other things in this till. The cap- tain justly thought Pug right in rid- ding himself of evil to the best of his ability, and therefore did not punish him for the theft. These friends carried on their de- predations, when the ship was in harr bour, oh a great scale, and with so CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. 47 much system and consideration, that orders were given not to molest them as long as they committed no positive crime. Boats loaded with bread, fruit, cheese and other commodities, often rowed by the women, who go to the ships in harbour to dispose of their goods, were frequently along side the frigate. Pug being very large, strong and active, would descend the side and enter the boats in which were women, while Meike took his station on the hammock cloth within the main rigging. Pug, as 48 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. soon as he got on board the boat, be- gan to make the most hideous faces, and utter the most menacing noises, and even threaten to seize the women > their alarm was too great to prevent him from taking whatever he pleased, which he immediately brought up to his little comrade, who scampered below with the prize, and stowed it in the chest. The quickness with which this was effected generally prevented any one from recovering the stolen property, before it was taken from the chest. The mode of defence adopted by the CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. 49 women was effectual and singular. Each purchased a shilling snake made of painted wood divided into many joints, which waves when held by the tail, and motion gently given to the first joint held in the hand. One morning Pug descended into a boat, a-head and a-stern of which were two more, the women in them all were prepared with their snakes, and as soon as the rogue began his usual menaces produced them. The effect on poor Pug's nerves was tremendous, he trembled, screamed, and suppli- cated ; the women had suffered too E -50 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. much to let off the culprit without revenging themselves, they all has- tened towards him, and one got on the side steps; thus surrounded, Pug in his agony plunged into the sea, and was with difficulty saved from drowning. Meike during this scene uttered piercing cries, and actually threw towards his swimming friend the end of a rope from the quarter deck. Like a prudent fellow he never again molested the women merchants, though he always scolded and chattered at their approach. CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. 51 The deaths of this Orestes and Py- lades of the monkey tribe were rather tragic. Pug was invited to dine in the gun room where he drank too much Madeira, he sallied on deck pot valiant, and seeing a shark, which rapacious creatures are numerous in Kingston harbour, where the frigate was at an- chor, he leaped into the sea to catch it ; before assistance could be afforded, the voracious fish had seized poor Pug and dyed the sea with his blood. Meike became melancholy after the loss of Pug ; and was one night turned 52 CONSIDERATE MONKEYS. out of his master's hammock for being troublesome, and in the morn- ing was found suspended beneath his head cold and stiff. CURSORY REFLECTIONS AND COL- LATERAL EXAMPLES ON THE PRECEDING MEMOIR. THE author of " Annaline or Motive- Hunting," at page 107, vol. I. says, that " Instinct is an impulse implanted by Providence which compels every animal of the same species, when un- restrained and under the same circum- stances, to perform the same opera- 54 CURSORY REFLECTIONS ON THE tions." If this definition is correct, the arguments which might be raised on it are too numerous and profound for these memoirs ; therefore a few of the general results, &c. will be given. It is clear, that all monkeys do not, under similar circumstances, act as Pug and Meike : it follows that these illus- trious examples of their species did not act from instinct. Then from what could they act ; from memory, reason- ing, and reflection ? Undoubtedly. But these are mental operations, since they are not material ; in other words, PRECEDING MEMOIR. 55 they are derived from what we call mind or soul, for the words are syno- nymous in common parlance ; the soul or mind is without parts, that is imma- terial, and, according to the great philo- sophers, necessarily immortal, (as to se- cond causes) in other words, the natural causes, which produce decomposition in all combinations of matter, cannot destroy that which has no parts to be acted on. It follows that Pug and Meike, and all other creatures which evince any of the effects of mind, must possess an immaterial cause, indestruc- tible by any known natural powers. 56 CURSORY REFLECTIONS ON THE Monkeys and other animals are taught. Now, no masses, or combi- nations, of matter can be instructed : mind alone can receive instruction, and remember the information commu- nicated, it follows logically, that all teachable creatures have, for all we can tell, an immortal principle. Locke has said, that " thought, rea- son, and volition may have been given to matter" The thought, reason, and. volition, to have been given or added to matter, must have existed separate from that to which it was given, and PRECEDING MEMOIR. 57 so we get no farther from that suppo- sition. Pug and Meike acted in concert ; it follows, that they must have communi- cated, but other animals evidently com- municate ; I will give two examples of rather an uncommon character. ANECDOTE OF THE MICE. A gentleman in the North of Eng- land observed a mouse come from be- neath the door of a large closet in his 58 CURSORY REFLECTIONS ON THE study, being alone, he determined to try and make friends with the little visitor; at the expiration of a fortnight he succeeded, so far as to see him come out, peer round to ascertain if either cat or dog were in the room, and then wait for the gift of a piece of buttered toast. At the end of the third week (apropos, among the wise Confidence is a plant of slow growth, particularly if there is a disparity in rank or fortune) the little fellow came to the rug, sat down and warmed himself by the fire, washed his face, and patiently waited for his supper, and after eat- PRECEDING MEMOIR. 59 ing it often stretched himself out at full length, a la Abernethy, to facilitate digestion ; yet the animal never slept, and scampered off to bis retreat at the approach of any one, or at the least unusual noise. -.,.- /iV.jt.: One evening a large piece of roll and butter was thrown down to mousie, who appeared delighted with the mag- nitude of the donation, he frisked round it, nibbled a bit, and then with great exertion moved it to the crevice at the bottom of the closet door. The prize was far too large to pass the aper- 60 CURSORY REFLECTIONS ON THE ture, and in vain did mousie push and pull. At length, tired with the exer- tion, he left it; great was the asto- nishment of my friend at hearing, a few minutes after, a rush and bustle, with much squeaking, and immediately afterwards mousie appeared from be- neath the crevice, surveyed the coun- try, and not perceiving an enemy, gave two distinct squeaks, varying a little in tone, in an instant mousie's wife and family came from beneath the door, and with demonstrations of joy divided and subdivided the mound of bread and butter, assisted each other in PRECEDING MEMOIR. 6T pushing and pulling it through the crevice, and carried it off to their home in triumph. In this case there was communica- tion of information, obedience, and mu- tual co-operation. The other instance of communication took place also in N or thumberland . ANECDOTE OF A SPANIEL. A favourite spaniel was taken to an enclosed yard and shewn several rah- 62 CURSORY REFLECTIONS ON THE bits put there to be fattened ; the ani- mal was then put into the kennel at some distance, where there were five other sporting dogs. On the following morning two friends went to the ken- nel to take out the dogs to pursue their amusement of shooting. The animals were always eager to get out, arid then evinced their joy by leaping about their master, rolling on the grass, &c. But no sooner had he unclosed the door than they all rushed forth, and followed the spaniel, at full speed, to the door of the place where the rab- teits were confined, without noticing PRECEDING MEMOIR. 63 their master or obeying his call. In this instance there must have been, not only the communication of intelligence, but an agreement to avail themselves of it, and act together under the direction of the spaniel. >5 Li This same spaniel was seen to take from a scullery a basin half filled with lard ; she carried it very cautiously to the garden, dug a hole, flattened it at the bottom by pressing it down with both her fore-paws and then her nose ; this done, she took the basin and care- 64 CURSORY REFLECTIONS ON THE fully turned it upside down, so as to ef- fectually prevent the earth from mixing with and spoiling the lard. Are these three circumstances to be considered as the invariable operations of instinct ? They cannot be so considered and therefore must be attributed to rea- There was a dog some years ago in a provincial town of note, who had been taught to go with a copper coin and receive at the pastry-cooks the value in biscuits. He soon became an PRECEDING MEMOIR. 65 incorrigible thief and took half-pence whenever he could find them, buried and afterwards used them as he felt inclined. Is this instinct ? We all know that according to Huber and other entomologists, insects communi- cate by touching each other's antennae. ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. THE Chinese records, though not so ancient as our forefathers supposed them, are of sufficient antiquity to be used for illustrating so momentous a subject as that now under consi- deration. * The celebrated Mr. Astle in the preface to his erudite work on writing, says, that " The faculty of imitation, so conspicuous in the human species, has ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. 67 enabled men, in their most rude state, to delineate sensible or visible objects." The Chinese are now a civilized peo- ple, and have been equally so for a long period. Therefore, if we find any delineation of visible objects, so uncommon, as to have no modern re- presentations of similar subjects, it may, without forcing the result, be con- cluded, that such representations are of great antiquity. A deeply versed virtuoso, with whom I am acquainted, possesses a very rare and ancient specimen of japan, on rf 08 ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS.- which a landscape is delineated in red ochre and gold. He consulted me on what the drawing might represent. After some consideration, I discovered that it was a night scene, and pointed out to him the moon, " Riding at her highest noon, Like one that had been led astray Along the heav'ns wide pathless way." Amid the branches of an umbrageous tree were many monkeys, some se- dately watching the " regent of the night," others pointing to the lake beneath. Following their directions I ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. 69 examined the lake, and soon found that they were attracted by the reflec- tion of the orb in the deep water. Lower down the tree was a string of monkeys thus disposed and connected. A large strong monkey had twisted his tail round a branch and lowered himself and remained suspended ; one smaller had wound his tail round the waist of this first and lowered himself: five, each smaller than the one above him, had thus suspended themselves ; and that for the obvious astronomical purpose of catching that moon which they supposed to be in the lake. As 70 ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. the delineation of these incipient as- tronomical propensities were discover- ed some ages ago, it would be a curi- ous, and not unprofitable, enquiry to trace the gradual progress these mon- keys have made towards the profound conclusions of Leibnitz, Newton, or La Place. Two at Cadiz were nearly seized on by the Familiars of the Inqui- sition for being apparently disciples of Galileo. A military commander of high rank left his brass-mounted tele- scope at a window, from which he had ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. 71 been examining some batteries, newly erected by the enemy. Two philoso- phical monkeys who dwelt in a small court beneath the spot, watched the general anxiously surveying the oppo- site coast, and, on his leaving the room, immediately climbed into the window, and seized on the instrument, (a re- markably fine one by Dollond.) Both were so anxious to peep, that one went to each end, but left it dissatisfied and staring at each other. The field glass being now uncovered one returned and to his great delight saw the moon, his joy and success were made known 7 ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. by a scream and loud chattering ; the other leaped to the spot ; the first one, fearing to lose his prize, jumped and caught at the moon he supposed to be brought into the telescope, and much wondered that it was not to be found there. I do not think that their optical knowledge was less than that displayed by two sons of Erin when disputing on the comparative merits of their telescopes. One affirmed, that he could with his see the people going into Learybog Church, distant from ASTRONOMICAL MONKEYS. 73 him at least six leagues. The other not willing to allow his telescope to be inferior, immediately assured his friend, that O'Daly steeple and clock were seventeen miles from his window as a crow flew, and twenty-one by the road, yet he could bring it so near with his glass as to hear distinctly the clock tick! PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. . IT may be questioned by my learned readers, whether philosophical and pedagogical have any analogy. It is not for me to dispute the point with them, so I leave it, without offering any opinion. An ill tempered pointer puppy about a year old bit a showman's son, stole a piece of mutton, arid behaved him- self ill in various ways. Common cor- PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. 75 rections had been applied on similar occasions without effect, his master at length determined to place him under the tuition of proper tutors. The show- man possessed a large cage full of monkeys ; among them was one in size and sagacity superior to the rest, and who, consequently, assumed the mastery over his weaker brethren. Poor Ponto was put into this assembly, to be cured of his tricks, and taught more humble and becoming manners. They began with the same process as that pursued by the author of Sandford and Merton with the young ladies he took under 76 - PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. his care to educate, for the purpose of selecting one of them afterwards as his wife, namely, by trying Ponto's tem- per, and bringing his fortitude into action. One twitched his ear, and skipped off before the enraged pupil could revenge the affront; almost at the same moment another pinched his tail, and a third pulled his hair. The pupil became furious, and snapped and growled, threatening terrible re- venge. These menaces were resented by the whole of his instructors by chatterings, hootings, and a renewal of tuition, until Ponto threw himself 1'EDAGOGIC'AL MONKEYS. 77 at the bottom of the cage, and ap- peared resigned, like other people, because he could not help himself, and seemed to repeat in his whining " What can't he cured, Must be endured." Although the stolen mutton had filled Ponto to satiety, still its effects were not of long duration, and his appetite the next morning was keener than ever, owing to the exertions his tutors had induced him to make. A plate full of bones, and other food, was put into 78 PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. the cage the next morning for Ponto's breakfast; he wagged his tail, and licked his muzzle with the anticipation of enjoying his repast, but, to his mor- tification and amazement, his tutors, thinking with Hippocrates, that low diet and water were admirable medi- cines for choler, emptied the plate in a moment, and began to dispute among themselves for the contents, leaving their pupil in amazement. One observ- ing his wrath beginning to kindle, emptied the pan of water on his head ; on his trying to punish this act, he re- ceived a violent thump with the vessel, PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. 79 which was shivered to atoms. So ef- fectual were the instructions and casti- gations of these tutors, that at the ex- piration of four days Ponto came out humbled, and with a just estimation of the superiority of mild and parental restraint over the indiscriminating se- verity of pedagogues. A SIMILAR BUT MORE STRIKING CASE. A. GENTLEMAN in Demerara was led into the woods bordering the upper part of the Essequibo, in chase of a wild animal he had wounded, he had not proceeded far, before his attention was attracted by cries resembling those of children suffering pain, he looked in the direction whence the sound pro- ceeded, and observed many monkeys in a large tree. Some were chattering, PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. 81 others shewing great anger, at the remnants of certain sugar-canes and fruits, and one was lamenting over the remnants of an old hat. Several were occupied in spatting the parts, usually subjected to such punishment, of six or seven young monkeys, while others held their legs. The gentleman watch- ed from his covert this strange pro- ceeding, and, from all he observed, was convinced that the young ones had either been left to guard the plun- der, and had eaten it, or that they had been detected in this act of petty 8 PEDAGOGICAL MONKEYS. larceny, and were undergoing the penalty of their transgression. It is just to reason from individual instances to arrive at general positions. If monkeys instruct their children not to steal, and punish them if they do so, we might infer that they have ad- vanced far in their knowledge of ethics, and are superior either to the Spar- tans, or the Islanders of the South Sea. iiHi 7;>1J ;cJ:l -T3 t Vf TM^S 'ltd .' if 5 /iS^ > "' ' .1o-;.ol> rtsd THE MONKEY AND THE MARQUESS. A HIGHLY gifted nobleman was struck at Freemark fair with a peculiar wag- gishness in the expression of a com-? mon monkey, and immediately pur- chased him. Pug was carried on board his yacht, and made fast in the cabin. The day was very hot, the Mar- quess having exerted himself with rowing and in working his vessel, had thrown aside his neck cloth, and un- 84 THE MONKEY AND THE MARQUESS. buttoned his shirt collar: being an absent man, he sat down in this un- fashionable trim to eat some hot chops and potatoes. Pug had dexterously managed to divide the cord which fast- ened him, and having cast a longing eye on the viands spread before his lordship, made a spring to the centre of the table, seizing as he passed a smoking hot potatoe, which, with great quickness and address, he popped down the back of his lordship's neck with one paw, while he seized the chops on his plate with the other, and skipped off with his prize up the com- THE MONKEY AND THE MARQUESS. 85 panion-ladder, and was soon safe in the rigging ; while the Marquess was hal- looing and dancing about with a burn- ing hot potatoe down his back. The same tormenting animal look a dislike to a young and beautiful girl, who was a great favourite with the whole family : it was evident that his hatred arose from jealousy, at see- ing attentions paid to her, which he thought were due to him. He was observed very busy one day on board the yacht, but something occurred which prevented his being watched, 86 THE MONKEY AND THE MARQUESS, and he availed himself of it to carry an enraged crab with open claws to the heels of his lovely foe. Loud screams and tears attracted immediate attention, and the tenacious fish was with difficulty deprived of his hold, not before serious injury had been inflicted, as the crab was not small. Pug, by the unanimous verdict of all present, was condemned to be severely whipped, and was caught, lashed to the boom, and flogged, until his injured foe begged with fresh tears for his release. The offender was cast off, and brought to her feet, which he kissed, and with THE MONKEY AND THE MARQUESS. 87 hands above his head besought her pardon. Pug met his death in a singular manner ; he attempted to steal a young pig from its mother, and was carrying it away, notwithstanding its cries, when the gate of the stye, which had been propped open, closed on him ; the en- raged mother seized on him, and in a moment crushed his back bone, and then tore him to pieces. We must now return to our philo- sophers. THE ACOUSTICAL MONKEY, THIS memoir has been, I fear, in part anticipated by the pencil of the inimi- table E n L d r, in an ex- quisite little picture now ornamenting the collection of that well-known man of taste, J W 1 n, Esq. of D Place. I am not certain if the tale was known to him after all, since his work represents the conduct of a hare, dog, and monkey, left by a showman, with his box, gun, and THE ACOUSTICAL MONKEY. 89 trumpet. The monkey is represented doing with the trumpet what will be related in the sequel. On the birth day of our late king, the guns at C Castle, were loaded and primed, preparatory to firing the accus- tomed salute, and the musical instru- ments of the band were all left upon a stand on the platform, while the perfor- mers went away to refresh themselves. A monkey who had lived for some years in the castle, and attained so advanced a period of life, that he no longer delighted in noise and bustle, but seemed desirous 90 THE ACOUSTICAL MONKEY* of passing his latter days in tran- quillity, waited, with unmonkey-like demureness, until not a man was left in the place ; he then went to each of the guns, and destroyed the power of ignition, in precisely the same way as Swift affirms Captain Gulliver saved the Queen of Lilliput's palace from utter destruction by conflagration. After performing this exploit, he proceeded to the stand where the instruments were left, and seized, with an angry mutter, the trumpet, an instrument which had repeatedly disturbed him ; after some consideration he put it THE ACOUSTICAL MONKEY. 91 down, and went to the shore, which was contiguous, and there loaded him- self with sea-weed, with which he re- turned, and immediately began to stuff up the mouth of the trumpet ; having completed his work, he carried off the flutes, and took refuge on the summit of a battlement, carrying his prizes with him. The clock struck, and the gunner applied his match to the touch hole of the gun, but to his surprise it did not go off, he went to the second, and the third, and his dismay increased ; his 92 THE ACOUSTICAL MONKEY. rage exceeded all bounds on discover- ing that the powder was wet. The band had taken their stations, when the flutes were all missed ; and the trumpeter, on his first attempt to sound his clarion, found himself unable to produce a note. Some time elapsed before the culprit was discovered; vengeance was the order of the day, and Pug was assailed with missiles : he stood fire for some time with heroic coolness, but on a pebble striking him he was roused, and instantly com- menced the action by pelting the as- sailants with the flutes he had carried THE ACOUSTICAL MONKEY. 93 off, and then began to use the tiles. Some tamarinds were tied to a long pole, which appeased his anger, and he gravely, but suspiciously, came down for them. This monkey yielded up his breath at a good old age, by falling into a cistern where carp were kept. THE POLITICAL MONKEY. THE subject of this memoir was a native of Africa, and brought late to this country; on duly weighing his propensities it is presumed, that he was in all probability one of the le- gislators of his tribe. It is a common maxim of policy to bear with the utmost patience those aggressions we are unable to resent, and when a fair opportunity of revenge THE POLITICAL MONKEY. 95~ offers to turn it to advantage. Pug does not appear to have been actuated by the Christian spirit of returning good for evil. His usual place of re- sidence was on the corner of a balcony at Bath. The adjoining house was occupied by a widow lady, with three troublesome boys, who were just old enough to be mischievous, conceited, and obstinate ; these brats pitched on poor Pug as a, fit object on which to exercise their ingenuity. He saw, at once, that it was unwise to contend against such a superior force, and en- deavoured, by many endearing tricks, 96 THE POLITICAL MONKEY. and a feigned joy at seeing them, to enter into a treaty of peace. His ef- forts were vain; these boys armed themselves with nuts full of mustard, crackers, wild fires, and other means of annoyance, to which they added a squirt ; this latter instrument was Pug's horror, and consequently the most frequent in use. His ears and face were continually dripping with water, stale beer, suds, and other li- quids, squirted at him by his enemies. At length black Monday came, and his persecutors were sent ofF to school. The mother, on their removal, began THE POLITICAL MONKEY. 97 to refurnish her house : just as it was completed Pug broke his chain, and directly made for the enemy's fortress, which he thought deserted. He found the furniture in the drawing room co- vered, and actually uncovered it, pos- sessed himself of a bottle of ink, and sprinkled the whole of the furniture with it, not omitting a footstool. After thus laying waste the country, he re- tired to his quarters, and made no de- fence when detected with the empty bottle. His master, on learning the manner in which he had been treated, refused to pay for the damage done, H 98 THE POLITICAL MONKEY. considering Pug's proceeding as an act of retributive justice on the mother, for permitting her cubs to treat with cru- elty, a captive brother from a foreign strand. This monkey displayed his political propensities in a manner equally marked with the above trait of his powers of policy. His master was a great quid nunc, and read the Cou- rier every morning at his breakfast, arrayed in his night cap, gown, and slippers. Very often he pushed his spectacles to his forehead, and descant- THE POLITICAL MONKEY. 99 ed aloud on the affairs of the nation, to which his pet cat, whose breakfast hour was retarded by these digres- sions, sometimes replied by an implor- ing mew. Business having compelled his master to leave the table one morn- ing earlier than usual, Pug was found seated in his chair with spectacles on his nose, the night-cap surmount- ing his pericranium, and the Courier upside down in his paw, while the other was swayed with fervent ges- tures and loud chattering, principally directed to Grimalkin who sat on the rug. It is not mentioned in the docu- 100 THE POLITICAL MONKEY. ment from which this is taken, what were the momentous questions at that period under debate by that august assembly, which the impudent Dean of St. Patrick's has spoken of very disrespectfully by exclaiming in his celebrated ode " Hark! the monkeys how they prate." From this positive, unequivocal ap- pellation, it may be justly supposed, that the Dean was a disciple of Lord Monboddo, whose theory relating to the human race is well known. A DIGRESSION. IT has ever been deemed a proof of wisdom, to imitate those of olden time who were esteemed wise in their gene- ration. Many, too many, in the pre- sent day, refuse the monkey their protection and friendship, and thus act in open defiance of this unquestionable apothegm ; they also forget that the immortal Solomon, the wisest of man- kind, sent for, kept, and fostered this ingenious tribe. I do not think that we 102 A DIGRESSION. are told he received them as heir looms from David, although that monarch in all probability possessed some specimens. That women should dislike monkeys is not extraordinary, since as we have before observed, they have been deem- ed by that great divine Dr. Adam Clarke as the causes, not only of the pain entailed on woman, but of the evil attendant on humanity, by tempting Eve to taste the forbidden fruit. In addition to the objections curso- rily mentioned in the first pages of these memoirs, it has been shrewdly A DIGRESSION. 103 asked by Dr. N s, "if monkeys talk?" What the primitive or ante- diluvian monkeys could do, I cannot say, but I heard a little dark monkey in a cage, once reply to a man who requested of him a piece of carrot, " No, no, no," and then saw him stuff the whole into his mouth. If one word can be pronounced, perhaps more could be, and as appositely applied. There was a monkey in Berkshire some years" ago who would call to the pointers, when passing, " Toho, Toho," and thus often stop them, 104 A DIGRESSION. which greatly delighted him. But it is now time to finish this long digres- PUG M.D. THIS Medicinae Doctor was an inte- rested fellow, and never evinced the least affection for his master and pa- tient, excepting he anticipated a fee or reward for his trouble ; which being realized, he permitted his patient to pursue his own course, and thus laid the foundation for future fees. His patient was a notorious gour- mand, who had neither wife, nor 106 PUG M.D. child, nor friend, and so fixed his af- fections on Pug. The family apothe- cary had constantly warned this lover of ragouts and mulligatawney to be more temperate in his diet; but his directions were seldom obeyed. Pug observed this disobedience of his mas- ter, and it is to be inferred from his conduct that he determined to enforce it. As soon as dinner was served, Pug took his station near the table, armed with a quantity of cinders; the moment his master had filled his plate, Pug, with great dexterity, threw a handful crushed to ashes into it, and then skipped to the top of a large armoire, PUG M.D. 107 and continued to pelt every dish, in spite of remonstrances and threats, a small bribe only stopped him for a mo- ment, at length a full fee of pine or pears, and sweet wine, were given him as soon as he commenced operations, and then he ceased, unless he finished his repast before his master, when he again began the battle, and usually suc- ceeded in obtaining more, or in driving his master from table ; whose anger Pug soon appeased by many tricks and caresses. This excellent physician met his death in a manner which may, in the 108 PUG M.D. estimation of some, militate against the character given of him in this me- moir ; but which was the effect of accident. His master was in the habit of taking laudanum from a large bot- tle, this Pug, who slept in his bed- room, had long observed, and long desired to partake of; at length, one moon-light night, he went softly to the table, pulled out the cork, and drank the whole contents he slept soon after the sleep of death, and left his master disconsolate for his ^untimely end. FUG M.D. 109 It has been said, that the beautiful Lady C had a favourite monkey, who died, as most of them in this country, of tubercled lungs. At din- ner on the following day, her ladyship asked the celebrated Mr. Sh d n, then quite a young man, to write an epitaph on her favourite, whose name was Jim. The wit looked first at the beautiful woman who made the re- quest, then at her husband, Sir Ralph, and after a moment's consideration said : " Poor little Jim, I'm sorry for him ; I'd rather by half 'T had been Sir Ralph." 110 PUG M.n It was said that the baronet never liked him after this salley; but this report may be only the voice of scan- dal and ill-nature. A story has just occurred to me, which will not be out of place here, although not of a monkey. My witty predecessor in this line of composition, has told an anecdote of a monkey who broke, with a handful of wadding, the ward-room window of a two-decker, and plundered a locker of apples. The following narrative of a poney is nearly as striking. Before I proceed, allow PUG M.D. Ill me to remark, that monkeys, being four-handed) have a facility of making evident their cogitations, by actions which no other animals can perform. The corn was missed from a bin in a gentleman's stable ; the groom was an old and faithful servant, the helper a man to be depended on. They deter- mined to watch, and secreted them- selves in the loft, near a crevice. Afte* remaining there some hours, they saw a poney get off his head-stall by putting his poal under the edge of the man- ger, and then walk to the corn bin, 112 PUG M.D. which he opened with his nose ; after eating as much as he could, he shut the bin, returned to his stall, and again got his head into the head-stall, and rubbed it over his ears by pushing against the manger. The evidence which supports this anecdote would be sufficient to transport a man to New South Wales. Donkeys are easily taught to open gates or doors with a simple latch. THE MONKEY AMBITIOUS OF BECOMING A R. A. THE animal, of which this memoir professes to be an account, was a large cross-grained fellow, who did little more than worry the cat, the cook, and an old fat terrier, and stand behind his master while painting, imitating all his motions, turns of the head, peepings through the hand, real or affected enthusiasm, and other artistly tricks. One morning his master was 114 THE MONKEY AMBITIOUS suddenly called away, when preparing to finish a portrait of his patroness, in which he thought he had exceeded or at least equalled Reynolds, or our pre- sent justly admired President. The palette ready set, with brushes, oil, mehgylp, &c. were left on a tahle near the easel. It is supposed, that Pug considered his master might be losing time, and the picture should be finish- ed, for he took the rest-stick in his sinister paw, the palette under the same arm, and in his right hand a large varnishing brush. He examined the picture attentively, closed his lips, 01- -BECOMING A R. A. 115 knit his brow, muttered a semigvowl, then stepped several paces from it, and again approached it. He mixed the colours with oil and varnish and overlaid with a nondescript green- ish red the whole face and neck ; he chattered, retired, quickly approached the work, breathed short, and touched and retouched until one horrid mass remained. Pug by this time, wf the fancy, he seized Poll, popped her head beneath her wing, and in his fury, stripped her 150 ANOTHER ACCOMPLISHED of every feather without bringing one drop of blood. Polly tried to scream in vain, the poulterer in Leadenhall Market had, long before that time, made Pug perfect in plucking birds of every feather, and even of preventing them from using their defensive bills when alive this profound knowledge he thus sadly abused and stripped poor Polly quite naked. The beauty returned and soon learnt from the tongue of her bird the dread- ful tale two dukes, three servants, a poet, and some literary ladies were all PROFESSIONAL MONKEY. 151 to be there that evening, and here was her chief speaker, naked, and bewail- ing ; the disappointment was more than she could endure, and she burst into tears, and wept so immoderately, that her eyes were red and swollen, and her face, her mirror told her, was not so brilliant as Before ; this decided Pug's fate, he was seized and whipped severely, and banished her presence until Polly's plumage was again re- stored by the efforts of nature. Then Pug was re-introd.uced to her company, but she found the ascendancy she had gained, and screamed and cried when- 15 ANOTHER ACCOMPLISHED, &3C. ever he appeared, and exhibited such signs of terror, that Pug was banished to the kitchen, and made to assist the cook whenever poultry was to be dressed. Since the remainder of this memoir has not yet reached the author, he must postpone the completion till a future period, when he will continue it if he finds that monkeys and their acquirements are deemed a proper study for mankind. FINIS. Printed by R. Gilbert, St. John's-square, London. BCSB LIB WHY UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 000 61 1 554 7