THE 
 
 LIFE 
 
 OF 
 
 EEV. DAVID BB1INERD, 
 
 CHIEFLY EXTRACTED FROM HIS DIARY. 
 
 BY PRESIDENT EDWARDS. 
 
 OMEWHAT ABRIDOEE 
 
 EMBRACING, 
 IN THE CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER 
 
 BRAINERD'S PUBLIC JOURNAL 
 
 MOST SUCCESSFUL TEAR 
 
 OF BIS 
 
 MISSIONARY LABORS. 
 
 PUBLISHED BY THE 
 
 AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY, 
 
 150 NASSAU-STREET, NEW YORK.
 
 It is a striking chtmicteristic of the life of BRAINER^ from 
 the time of bis entering on the study of Theology till his 
 death, that he daily " walked with God," or mourned the 
 absence of the light of his countenance. President Edwards 
 has endeavored to exhibit the state of his mind each day, us 
 described in his diary. In this edition, many passages thus 
 inserted by Edwards, especially such as much resembled 
 those preceding or following, have been omitted.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 President Edwards' Preface 5 
 
 CHAP. I. From his birth to the time when he began to 
 study for the ministry containing his own narrative 
 of h'.s conversion, his connection with Yale College 
 and the grounds of his expulsion 9 
 
 CHAP. II. From about the time when he began the 
 
 study of theology, till he was licensed to preach - 32 
 
 CHAP. III. From his being licensed to preach, till he 
 
 was commissioned as a missionary - 45 
 
 CHAP. IV. From his appointment as a missionary, to 
 his commencing his mission among the Indians at 
 Kaunauineek, in New- York ... - - 52 
 
 CHAP. V. His labors for nearly a year at Kaunaumeek 
 temporal deprivations and sufferings establishes 
 a school confession offered to the Faculty of Yale 
 College days of fasting methods of instructing 
 the Indians visit to New-Jersey and Connecticut 
 commencement of labor among the Indians at the 
 Forks of Delaware ordination - - - - 61 
 
 CHAP. VI. Labors for the Indians at and near the Forks 
 of Delaware idolatrous feast and dance journey 
 through the wilderness to Opeholhaupung, on the 
 Susquehanna erects a cottage at the Forks of De- 
 laware some evidences of a work of the Spirit 
 among the Indians journey to Ne\v-F.ngland, to 
 obtain funds to support a colleague visit to the In- 
 dians on the Susqu-ehanna journey to Crossweek- 
 sung, in New-Jersey ------ 95 
 
 CHAP. VII. Being Part I. of his public Journal of " the 
 Rise and Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace 
 among the Indians in New-Jersey and Pennsylva-
 
 IV CONTENTS. 
 
 ?*& 
 
 nia; kept by order of tbe Society in Scotland for 
 propagating Christian Knowledge" commence- 
 ment of his labors at Crossweeksung renewal of 
 labor at the Forks of Delaware conversion of his 
 interpreter return to Crossweeksung outpouring 
 of the Spirit visit to the Forks of Delaware and 
 the Susquehanna a powaw a conjurer renewal 
 of labor at Crossweeksung remarks on the work 
 of divine grace .--.... 132 
 
 CHAP. VIII. Being Part II. of his public Journal of 
 " the Continuance and Progress of a Remarkable 
 Work of Grace among the Indians in New-Jersey 
 and Pennsylvania: kepi by order of the Society in 
 Scotland for propagating Christian Knowledge " 
 renewal of labor at Crossweeksung outpouring of 
 the Spirit remarkable case signal displays of di- 
 vine power a convert a number of Christian In- 
 dians accompany him io the Forks of Delaware 
 striking conversion at Crossweeksung day of fast- 
 ing Lord's supper conversion of a conjurer 
 general remarks on the preceding narrative - - 194 
 
 CHAP. IX. From the close of his public Journal, June 
 19, 1746, to his death, October 9, 1747 continu- 
 ance of labor at Crossweeksung and Cranberry- 
 journey with six Christian Indians to the Susque- 
 hanna, and labors there return to Crossweeksung 
 compelled by prostration of health to leave the 
 Indians confinement by sickness at Elizabethtown 
 farewell visit to the Indians his brother John 
 succeeds him as a missionary arrival among his 
 friends in Connecticut visit to President Edwards, 
 in Northampton journey to Boston, where he is 
 brought near to death usefulness in Boston re- 
 turn to Northampton triumphs of grace in his last 
 sickness death 278 
 
 CHAP. X. Reflections on the preceding memoir - - 345
 
 FROM 
 PRESIDENT EDWARDS' PREFACE. 
 
 THERE is one thing, easily discernible in the life of BRAIN- 
 ERD, which by many may be considered an objection to the 
 extraordinary evidences of his religion and devotion, viz. 
 that lie was, by his constitution and natural temper, so prone to 
 melancholy and dejection of Spirit. There are some who think 
 that all religion is a melancholy thing; and that what is 
 called Christian experience is little else beside melancholy, 
 disturbing the brain, and exciting enthusiastic imaginations. 
 But that Brainerd's temper or constitution inclined him to 
 despondency, is no just ground for supposing that his extra- 
 ordinary devotion was only the fruit of a warm imagination. 
 Notwithstanding this inclination to despondency, he was evi- 
 dently one of those who usually are the farthest from a teem- 
 ing imagination ; being of a penetrating genius, of clear 
 thought, of close reasoning, and a very exact judgment; as 
 was apparent to all who knew him. As he had a great in- 
 sight into human nature, and was very discerning and judi- 
 cious in general ; so he excelled in his judgment and know- 
 ledge in divinity, but especially in experimental religion. 
 He most accurately distinguished between real, solid piety, 
 and enthusiasm; between those affections that are rational 
 and scriptural, having their foundation in light and judgment, 
 and those that are founded in whimsical conceits, strong im- 
 pressions on the imagination, and vehement emotions of the 
 animal spirits. He was exceedingly sensible of men's expo- 
 sure to these things ; how extensively they had prevailed, 
 and what multitudes had been deceived by them ; of their 
 pernicious consequences, and the fearful mischief they had
 
 6 PREFACE. 
 
 done in the Christian world. He had no confidence in such 
 a religion, and was abundant in bearing testimony against it. 
 iving and dying; and was quick to discern when any thing 
 of that nature arose, though in its fii-jt buddings, and appear- 
 ing under the most fair and plausible disguises. He had a 
 talent, which I scarcely ever knew equalled, for describing 
 the various workings of this imaginary enthusiastic religion, 
 evincing its falseness and vanity, and demonstrating the great 
 difference between this and true spiritual devotion. 
 
 His judiciousness did not only appear in distinguishing 
 among the experiences of others, but also among the various 
 exercises of his own mind; particularly in discerning what 
 within himself was to be laid to the score of melancholy; in 
 which he exceeded all melancholy persons that ever I was 
 acquainted with. This was doubtless owing to a peculiar 
 strength in his judgment ; for it is a rare thing indeed, that 
 persons under the influence of melancholy are sensible of 
 their own disease, and convinced that such things are to be 
 ascribed to it, as are its genuine operations and fruits. Brain- 
 erd did not obtain that degree of skill at once, but gradually; 
 as the reader may discern by the following account of his life. 
 In the former part of his religious course, he imputed much 
 of that kind of gloominess of mind to spiritual desertion, which 
 in the latter part of his life he was abundantly sensible was 
 owing to the disease of melancholy ; accordingly he often ex- 
 pressly speaks of it in his diary, as arising from this cause. He 
 often in conversation spoke of the difference between melan- 
 choly and godly sorrow; between true humiliation and spiri- 
 tual desertion ; and the great danger of mistaking the one for 
 the other, and the very hurtful nature of melancholy; dis- 
 coursing with great judgment upon it, and doubtless much 
 more judiciously for what he knew by his own experience.
 
 Another imperfection in Brainerd, which may be observed 
 in the following account of his life, was his being excessive in 
 his labors ; not taking due care to proportion his fatigues to 
 his strength. Indeed, the seeming calls of Providence were 
 very often such as made it extremely difficult for him to avoid 
 laboring beyond his strength ; yea, his circumstances, and the 
 business of his mission among the Indians, were such, that 
 great fatigues and hardships were altogether inevitable. 
 However, he was finally convinced that he had erred in this 
 matter, and that he ought to have taken more thorough care, 
 and been more resolute to withstand temptations to such 
 degrees of labor as injured his health ; and accordingly he 
 warned his brother, who succeeded him in his mission, to be 
 careful to avoid this error. 
 
 Besides the imperfections already mentioned, it is readily 
 allowed that there were some imperfections which ran 
 through his whole life, and were mixed with all his religious 
 affections and exercises ; some mixture of what was natural, 
 with that which was spiritual ; as it evermore is in the best 
 saints in this world. Doubtless, natural temper had some 
 influence in the religious exercises of Brainerd, as it most ap- 
 parently had in those of the devout David, and the Apostles 
 Peter, John, and Paul. There was undoubtedly very often 
 some mixture of melancholy with true godly sorrow and 
 real Christian humility ; some mixture of the natural fire of 
 youth, with his holy zeal for God ; and some influence of na- 
 tural principles, mixed with grace in various other respects, 
 as it ever was and ever will be with the saints, while on this 
 side heaven. Perhaps none were more sensible of Brainerd's 
 imperfections than himself; or could distinguish more accu- 
 rately than he, between what was natural and what was spiri- 
 tual. It is easy for the judicious reader to observe that his
 
 8 PREFACE. 
 
 graces ripened, that the religious exercises of his neart be- 
 came more and more pure, and he more and more distin- 
 guishing in his judgment, the longer he lived. He had much 
 to teach and purify him, and he failed not to profit thereby. 
 
 Notwithstanding all these imperfections, every pious and 
 judicious reader will readily acknowledge that what is here 
 set before him is a remarkable instance of true and eminent 
 piety, in heart and practice tending greatly to confirm the 
 reality of vital religion, and the power of godliness ; that it is 
 most worthy of imitation, and in many ways calculated to 
 promote the spiritual benefit of the careful observer. 
 
 The reader should be aware that what Brainerd wrote in 
 his diary, out of which the following account of his life is 
 chiefly taken, was written only for his own private use ; and 
 not to obtain honor and applause in the world, nor with any 
 design that the world should ever see it, either while he lived, 
 or after his death ; except a few things which he wrote in a 
 dying state, after he had been persuaded, with difficulty, not 
 entirely to suppress all his private writings. He showed him- 
 self almost invincibly averse to the publishing of any part of 
 his diary after his death ; and when he was thought to be dy- 
 ing at Boston, gave the most strict, peremptory orders to the 
 contrary. But being by some of his friends there, prevailed 
 upon to withdraw so strict and absolute a prohibition, he was 
 finally pleased to yield so far, as that " his papers should be 
 left in my hands, that I might dispose of them as I thought 
 would be most for God's glory and the interest of religion.' 7 
 
 JONATHAN EDWARDS.
 
 OP 
 
 REV. DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 From his birth to the time when he began to study for the 
 Ministry containing kit own narrative of his conversion, 
 his connection with Yale- College, and the grounds of his 
 expulsion. 
 
 April 20, 1718- -Feb. 1741. 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD was born April 20, 1718, at Had- 
 dam, Connecticut. His father was Hezekiah Brainerd, 
 Esq. and his mother, Dorothy Hobart, daughter of the 
 Rev. Jeremiah Hobart. 
 
 He was the third son of his parents, who had five 
 sons and four daughters. The oldest son was a respecta- 
 ble citizen of Haddam ; the second was Rev. Nehemiah 
 Brainerd, a worthy minister in Eastbury, in Connecti- 
 cut; the fourth, Mr. John Brainerd, who succeeded his 
 brother David as missionary to the Indians, and pastor 
 of the same church of Christian Indians in New-Jer- 
 sey; and the fifth was Israel, lately student at Yale- 
 College, who died soon after his brother David. Their 
 mother, having lived about five years a widow, died 
 when the subject of this memoir was about fourteen
 
 10 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [ Chap. I 
 
 years of age; so that in his youth he was left both 
 fatherless and motherless. The following is the ac- 
 count he has himself given of the first twenty-three 
 years of his life. 
 
 " I was from my youth somewhat sober, and inclined 
 to melancholy ; but do not remember any thing of con- 
 viction of sin, worthy of remark, till I was, I believe, 
 about seven or eight years of age. Then I became 
 concerned for my soul, and terrified at the thoughts of 
 death ; and was driven to the performance of religious 
 duties : but it appeared a melancholy business that de- 
 stroyed my eagerness for play. And though, alas ! this 
 religious concern was but short-lived, I sometimes at- 
 tended secret prayer; and thus lived "without God in 
 the world," and without much concern, as I remember, 
 till I was above thirteen years of age. In the winter 
 of 1732 I was roused out of this carnal security by, I 
 scarce know what means at first ; but was much ex- 
 cited by the prevalence of a mortal sickness in Had- 
 dam. I was frequent, constant, and somewhat fervent 
 in prayer; and took delight in reading, especially Mr. 
 JAKEWAY'S Token for Children. I felt sometimes much 
 melted in the duties of religion, took great delight in 
 the performance of them, and sometimes hoped that I 
 was converted, or at least in a good and hopeful way 
 for heaven and happiness ; not knowing what conver- 
 sion was. The Spirit of God at this time proceeded 
 far with me. I was remarkably dead to the world ; my 
 thoughts were almost wholly employed about my soul's 
 concerns; and I may indeed say, "Almost I was per- 
 suaded to be a Christian." I was also exceedingly dis- 
 tressed and melancholy at the death of my mother, in 
 March, 1732. But afterward my religious concern 
 began to decline, and by degrees I fell back into a con
 
 17i*8. | HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. 11 
 
 siderable degree of security, though I still attended 
 secret prayer. 
 
 " About the 15th of April, 1733, 1 removed from rny 
 father's house to East-Haddam, where I spent four 
 years; but still "without God in the world," though, 
 for the most part, I went a round of secret duty. I 
 was not much addicted to the company and the amuse- 
 ments of the young ; but this I know, that when I did 
 go into such company I never returned with so good 
 a conscience as when I went, It always added new 
 guilt, made me afraid to come to the throne of grace, 
 and spoiled those good frames with which I was wont 
 sometimes to please myself. But, alas! all my good 
 frames were but self-righteousness, not founded on a 
 desire for the glory of God. 
 
 'About the end of April, 1737, being full nine- 
 teen years of age, I removed to Durham, to work on 
 my farm, and continued about one year; frequently 
 longing after a liberal education. When about twenty 
 years of age I applied myself to study; and was now 
 engaged more than ever in the duties of religion. I 
 became very strict, and watchful over my thoughts, 
 words, and actions; concluded that I must be sober 
 indeed, because I designed to devote myself to the 
 ministry ; and imagined that I did dedicate myself to 
 the Lord. 
 
 " Sometime in April, 1738, 1 went to live with Rev. 
 Mr. Fiske, of Haddam, and continued with him during 
 his life. I remember he advised me wholly to abandon 
 young company, and associate myself with grave el- 
 derly people ; which counsel I followed. My manner 
 of life was now wholly regular, and full of religion, 
 such as it was ; for I read my bible more than twice 
 through in less than a year, spent much time every day
 
 12 LIFE OP BKAINERD. [Chap. I. 
 
 in prayer and other secret duties, gave great attention 
 to the word preached, and endeavored to my utmost to 
 retain it. So much concerned was I about religion, 
 that I agreed with some young persons to meet pri- 
 vately on Sabbath evenings for religious exercises, and 
 thought myself sincere in these duties; and after our 
 meeting was ended I used to repeat the discourses 
 of the day to myself; recollecting what I could, though 
 sometimes very late at night. I used occasionally on 
 Monday mornings to recollect the same sermons ; had 
 sometimes pleasure in religious exercises, and had 
 many thoughts of joining the church. In short, I had 
 a very good outside, and rested entirely on my duties, 
 though I was not sensible of it. 
 
 " After Mr. Fiske's death I proceeded in my studies 
 with my brother; was still very constant in religious 
 duties, often wondered at the levity of professors, and 
 lamented their carelessness in religion. Thus I pro- 
 ceeded a considerable length on a self-righteous foun- 
 dation ; and should have been entirely lost and undone 
 had not the mere mercy of God prevented. 
 
 "Sometime in the beginning of winter, 1738, it 
 pleased God, one Sabbath morning, as I was walking 
 out for secret duties, to give me on a sudden such a 
 sense of my danger, and the wrath of God, that I stood 
 amazed, and my former good frames presently van- 
 ished. From the view which I had of my sin and vile- 
 ness, I was much distressed all that day, fearing that 
 the vengeance of God would soon overtake me. I was 
 much dejected ; kept much alone ; and sometimes en- 
 vied the birds and beasts their happiness, because they 
 were not exposed to eternal misery, as I evidently saw 
 that I was. Thus I lived from day to day, being fre- 
 quently in great distress : sometimes there appeared
 
 1739.J HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. 13 
 
 mountains before me to obstruct my hopes of mercy ; 
 and the work of conversion appeared so great, that 1 
 thought I should never be the subject of it. I used, 
 however, to pray and cry to God, and perform other 
 duties with great earnestness ; and thus hoped by some 
 means to make the case better. 
 
 "Hundreds of times I renounced all pretences of 
 any worth in my duties, as I thought, even while per- 
 forming them; and often confessed to God that I de- 
 served nothing for the very best of them, but eternal 
 condemnation ; yet still I had a secret hope of recom- 
 mending- myself to God by my religious duties. When 
 I prayed affectionately, and my heart seemed in some 
 measure to melt, I hoped that God would be thereby 
 moved to pity me. There was, then, some appearance 
 of goodness in my prayers, and I seemed to mourn for 
 sin. I could in some measure venture on the mercy of 
 God in Christ, as I thought ; though the preponderat- 
 ing thought, the foundation of my hope was some 
 imagination of goodness in my meltings of heart, the 
 warmth of my affections, and my extraordinary en- 
 largements in prayer. Though at times the gate ap- 
 peared so very strait that it looked next to impossible 
 to enter ; yet, at other times I flattered myself that it 
 was not so very difficult, and hoped I should by dili- 
 gence and watchfulness soon gain the point. Some- 
 times after enlargement in duty and considerable affec- 
 tion, I hoped I had made a good step toward heaven, 
 and imagined that God was affected as I was, and 
 would hear such sincere cries, as I called them. And 
 so sometimes, when I withdrew for secret prayer in 
 great distress, I returned comfortable ; and thus healed 
 myself with my duties. 
 
 "In February, 1739, 1 set apart a day for secret fast-
 
 14 LIFE OF BRAINEHD. [Chap. 1. 
 
 ing and prayer, and spent the day in almost incessant 
 cries to God for mercy, that he would open my eyes to 
 see the evil of sin, and the way of life by Jesus Christ. 
 God was pleased that day to make considerable dis- 
 coveries of my heart to me. Still I trusted in all the 
 duties I performed, though there was no manner of 
 goodness in them ; there being in them no respect to 
 the glory of God, nor any such principle in my heart. 
 Yet God was pleased to make my endeavors, that day, 
 a means to show me my helplessness in some measure. 
 " Sometimes I was greatly encouraged, and imagined 
 that God loved me and was pleased with me, and thought 
 I should soon be fully reconciled to God. But the whole 
 was founded on mere presumption, arising from en- 
 largement in duty, or warmth of affections, or some good 
 resolutions, or the like. And when, at times, great dis- 
 tress began to arise on a sight of my vileness and ina- 
 bility to deliver myself from a sovereign God, I used 
 to put off the discovery, as what I could not bear. 
 Once, I remember, a terrible pang of distress seized 
 me ; and the thought of renouncing myself, and stand- 
 ing naked before God, stripped of all goodness, was so 
 dreadful to me that I was ready to say to it, as Felix to 
 Paul, " Go thy way for this time." Thus, though I daily 
 longed for greater conviction of sin; supposing that I 
 must see more of my dreadful state in order to a reme- 
 dy ; yet, when the discoveries of my vile, wicked heart 
 were made tome, the sight was so dreadful, and showed 
 me so plainly my exposedness to damnation, that I 
 could not endure it. I constantly strove after whatever 
 qualifications I imagined others obtained before the re- 
 ception of Christ, in order to recommend, me to his 
 favor. Sometimes I felt the power of a hard heart, 
 and supposed it must be softened before Christ would
 
 1739.] HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. 15 
 
 accept of me ; and when I felt any meltings of heart, 
 I hoped now the work was almost done. Hence, when 
 my distress still remained I was wont to murmur at 
 God's dealings with me; and thought, when others felt 
 their hearts softened, God showed them mercy; but 
 my distress remained still. 
 
 "At times I grew remiss and sluggish, without any 
 great convictions of sin, for a considerable time to- 
 gether; but after such a season convictions sometimes 
 seized me more violently. One night I remember in 
 particular, when I was walking solitarily abroad, I had 
 opened to me such a view of my sin that I feared the 
 ground would cleave asunder under my feet, and be- 
 come my grave ; and send my soul quick into hell, be- 
 fore I could get home. Though I was forced to go to 
 bed, lest my distress should be discovered by others, 
 which I much feared ; yet I scarcely durst sleep at all, 
 for I thought it would be a great wonder if I should be 
 out of hell in the morning. And though my distress 
 was sometimes thus great, yet I greatly dreaded the 
 loss of convictions, and returning back to a state of car- 
 lal security, and to my former insensibility of impend- 
 ng wrath ; which made me exceedingly exact in my 
 Dehaviour, lest I should stifle the motions of God's 
 Holy Spirit. When at any time I took a view of my 
 convictions, and thought the degree of them to be con- 
 siderable, I was wont to trust in them ; but this confi- 
 dence, and the hope of soon making some notable ad- 
 vances toward deliverance, would ease my mind, and I 
 soon became more senseless and remiss. Again, when 
 I discerned my convictions to grow languid, and 
 thought them about to leave me, this immediately 
 alarmed and distressed me. Sometimes I expected to 
 take a large step, and get very far toward conversion,
 
 16 LIFE OF BHAINERD. [Chap. 1 
 
 by some particular opportunity or means I had in view 
 " The many disappointments, the great distress and 
 perplexity which I experienced, put me into a most 
 horrible frame of contesting with the almighty; with 
 inward vehemence and virulence finding fault with his 
 ways of dealing with mankind. My wicked heart 
 often wished for some other way of salvation than by 
 Jesus Christ. Being like the troubled sea, my thoughts 
 confused, I used to contrive to escape the wrath ot 
 God by some other means. I had strange projects, 
 full of Atheism, contriving to disappoint God's de- 
 signs and decrees concerning me, or to escape his no- 
 tice and hide myself from him. But when upon re- 
 flection I saw these projects were vain, and would not 
 serve me, and that I could contrive nothing for my 
 own relief, this would throw my mind into the most 
 horrid frame, to wish there was no God, or to wish 
 there was some other God that could control him. 
 These thoughts and desires were the secret inclina- 
 tions of my heart, frequently acting before I was 
 aware; but, alas! they were mine, althrugh I was 
 frightened when I came to reflect on them. When I 
 considered, it distressed me to think that my heart 
 was so full of enmity against God ; and it made me 
 tremble, lest his vengeance should suddenly fall upon 
 me. I used before to imagine that my heart was not 
 so bad as the Scriptures and some other books repre- 
 sented it. Sometimes I used to take much pains to 
 work it up into a good frame, a humble submissive dis- 
 position ; and hoped there was then some goodness in 
 me. But, on a sudden, the thoughts of the strictness 
 of the law, or the sovereignty of God, would so irri- 
 tate the corruption of my heart that I had so watched 
 over and hoped I had brought to a good frame, that it
 
 1739. J HIS CONVICTION AND CONVEBS1ON. 1? 
 
 would break over all bounds, and burst forth on all 
 sides, like floods of waters when they break down 
 their dam. 
 
 " Being sensible of the necessity of deep humiliation 
 in order to a saving close with Christ, I used to set my- 
 self to produce in my own heart the convictions requi- 
 site in such a humiliation : as, a conviction that God 
 would be just, if he cast me off for ever; that if ever 
 God should bestow mercy on me, it would be mere 
 grace, though I should be in distress many years first, 
 and be never so much engaged in duty ; and that God 
 was not in the least obliged to pity me the more for all 
 past duties, cries, and tears. I strove to my utmost to 
 bring myself to a firm belief of these things and a 
 hearty assent to them ; and hoped that now I was 
 brought off from myself, truly humbled, and that I 
 bowed to the divine sovereignty. I was wont to tell God 
 in my prayers, that now I had those very dispositions 
 of soul which he required, and on which he showed 
 mercy to others, and thereupon to beg and plead for 
 mercy to me. But when I found no relief, and was 
 still oppressed with guilt and fears of wrath, my soul 
 was in a tumult, and my heart rose against God, as deal- 
 ing hardly with me. Yet then my conscience flew in 
 my face, putting me in mind of my late confession to 
 God of his justice in my condemnation. This, giving 
 me a sight of the badness of my heart, threw me again 
 into distress; and I wished that I had watched my 
 heart more narrowly, to keep it from breaking out 
 against God's dealings with me. I even wished that 
 f had not pleaded for mercy on account of my humi- 
 liation; because thereby I had lost all my seeming 
 goodness. Thus, scores of times I vainly imagined 
 myspl f humbled and prepared for saving mercy. While 
 
 Brainerd.
 
 18 LIFE OP BRA.TUERD. [Chap. I 
 
 I was in this distressed, bewildered, and tumultuous 
 state of mind, the corruption of my heart was especial- 
 ly irritated with the following things. 
 
 1. " The strictness of the divine law. For I found 
 it was impossible for me, after my utmost pains, to an- 
 swer its demands. I often made new resolutions, and 
 as often broke them. I imputed the whole to careless- 
 ness, and the want of being more watchful, and used 
 to call myself a fool for my negligence. But when, 
 upon a stronger resolution, and greater endeavors, and 
 close application to fasting and prayer, I found all at- 
 tempts fail ; then I quarrelled with the law of God, as 
 unreasonably rigid. I thought, if it extended only to 
 my out-ward actions and behavior, that I could bear 
 with it; but I found that it condemned me for my evil 
 thoughts, and sins of my heart, which I could not pos- 
 sibly prevent. I was extremely loth to own my utter 
 helplessness in this matter: but after repeated disap- 
 pointments, thought that rather than perish I could do 
 a little more still ; especially if such and such circum- 
 stances might but attend my endeavors and strivings. 
 I hoped that I should strive more earnestly than ever, 
 if the matter came to extremity, though I never could 
 find the time to do my utmost in the manner I intend- 
 ed. This hope of future more favorable circumstances, 
 and of doing something great hereafter, kept me from 
 utter despair in myself, and from seeing myself fallen 
 into the hands of a sovereign God, and dependent on 
 nothing but free and boundless grace. 
 
 JJ."Another point that irritated me was, that faith 
 alone was the condition of salvation; that God would 
 not come down to lower terms ; and that he would nol 
 promise life and salvation upon mv sincere and hearty
 
 1739.] HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. J9 
 
 prayers and endeavors. That word, Mark 16 : 16, " He 
 that believeth not shall be damned," cut off all hope 
 there. I found that faith was the sovereign gift of God ; 
 that I could not get it as of myself; and could not oblige 
 God to bestow it upon me by any of my performances 
 Eph. 2 : 1, 8. " This," I was ready to say, "is a 
 hard saying, who can hear it ? " I could not bear that 
 all I had done should stand for mere nothing ; as 
 I had been very conscientious in duty, had been very 
 religious a great while, and had, as I thought, done 
 much more than many others who had obtained mer- 
 cy. I confessed indeed the vileness of my duties ; but 
 then what made them at that time seem vile, was my 
 wandering thoughts in them, rather than because I was 
 all over defiled like a devil, and the principle corrupt 
 from whence they flowed, so that I could not possibly 
 do any thing that was good. Hence I called what I did 
 by the name of honest faithful endeavors ; and could not 
 bear it, that God had made no promises of salvation 
 to them. 
 
 3." I could not find out what faith was; or what it 
 was to believe and come to Christ. I read the calls of 
 Christ to the weary and heavy laden; but could find no 
 way in which he directed them to come. I thought I 
 would gladly come, if I knew how; though the path 
 of duty were never so difficult. I read Stoddard's 
 Guide to Christ, (which I trust was, in the hand of God, 
 the happy means of my conversion,) and my heart rose 
 against the author ; for though he told me my very 
 heart all along under convictions, and seemed to be 
 very beneficial to me in his directions; yet here he 
 seemed to me to fail : he did not tell me any thing I 
 couid do that would bring me to Christ, but left me as 
 it were with a great gulph between me and Christ, with- 
 out any ^irfctio!! !::*, r/ > <?(>t through. For ! was uul
 
 20 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. 1 
 
 yet effectually and experimentally taught, that there 
 could be no way prescribed, whereby a natural man 
 could, of his own strength, obtain that which is super- 
 natural, and which the highest angel cannot give. 
 
 4. " Another point was the sovereignty of God. I 
 could not bear that it should be wholly at God's plea- 
 sure, to save or damn me, just as he would. That pas- 
 sage, Rom. 9 : 1 1-23, was a constant vexation to me, 
 especially verse 21. Reading or meditating on this, al- 
 ways destroyed my seeming good frames; for when I 
 thought I was almost humbled, and almost resigned, 
 this passage would make my enmity against God ap- 
 pear. When I came to reflect on the inward enmity 
 and blasphemy which arose on this occasion, I was 
 the more afraid of God, and driven further from any 
 hopes of reconciliation with him. It gave me a dread- 
 ful view of myself; I dreaded more than ever to see 
 myself in God's hands, and it made me more opposite 
 than ever to submit to his sovereignty ; for I thought 
 He designed my damnation. 
 
 " All this time the Spirt of God was powerfully at 
 work with me ; and I was inwardly pressed to relin- 
 quish all self-confidence, all hope of ever helping my- 
 self by any means whatsoever. The conviction of my 
 lost estate was sometimes so clear and manifest before 
 my eyes that it was as if it had been declared to me in 
 so many words, " It is done, it is done, it is for ever 
 impossible to deliver yourself." For about three or 
 four days my soul was thus greatly distressed. At 
 some turns, for a few moments, I seemed to myself 
 lost and undone; but then would shrink back imme- 
 diately from the sight, because I dared not venture my- 
 self into the hands of God, as wholly helpless, and at
 
 1739.] HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. 21 
 
 the disposal of his sovereign pleasure. I dared not 
 see that important truth concerning myself, that I was 
 " dead in trespasses and sins." But when I had, as it 
 were, thrust away these views of myself at any time, 
 1 felt distressed to have the same discoveries of myself 
 again ; for I greatly feared being given over of God to 
 final stupidity. When I thought of putting it off to a 
 more "convenient season," the conviction was so close 
 and powerful, that the present time was the best, and 
 probably the only time, that I dared not put it off. 
 
 " It was the sight of truth concerning myself, truth 
 respecting my state, as a creature fallen and alienated 
 from God, and that consequently could make no de- 
 mands on God for mercy, but was at his absolute dis- 
 posal, from which my soul shrank away, and which I 
 trembled to think of beholding. Thus, he that doeth 
 evil, as all unregenerate men continually do, hates the 
 light of truth, neither cares to come to it, because it 
 will reprove his deeds, and show him his just deserts. 
 John, 3 : 20. Sometime before, I had taken much 
 pains, as I thought, to submit to the sovereignty of 
 God ; yet I mistook the thing, and did not once ima- 
 gine, that seeing and being made experimentally sen- 
 sible of this truth, which my soul now so much dreaded 
 and trembled at, was the frame of soul which I had so 
 earnestly desired. I had ever hoped that when I had 
 attained to that humiliation which I supposed neces- 
 sary to precede faith, then it would not be fair for God 
 to cast me off ; but now I saw it was so far from any 
 goodness in me, to own myself spiritually dead and 
 destitute of all goodness, that on the contrary, my 
 mouth would be for ever stopped by it ; and it looked 
 as dreadful to me, to see myself, and the relation I 
 stood in to God I a sinner and criminal, and he a
 
 22 LIFE OF BHA1NERD. [Chap. I. 
 
 great Judge and Sovereign as it would be to a poor 
 trembling creature to venture off some high precipice. 
 Hence I put it off for a minute or two, and tried for 
 better circumstances to do it in : either I must read a 
 passage or two, or pray first, or something of the like 
 nature ; or else put off my submission to God with an 
 objection, that I did not know how to submit. But the 
 truth was, I could see no safety in owning myself in 
 the hands of a sovereign God, and could lay no claim 
 to any thing better than damnation. 
 
 " After a considerable time spent in similar exercises 
 and distress, one morning, while I was walking in a 
 solitary place, as usual, I at once saw that all my con- 
 trivances and projects to effect or procure deliverance 
 and salvation for myself were utterly in vain ; I was 
 brought quite to a stand, as finding myself totally lost. 
 I had thought many times before, that the difficulties 
 in my way were very great ; but now I saw, in another 
 and very different light, that it was for ever impossible 
 for me to do any thing toward helping or delivering 
 myself. I then thought of blaming myself, that I had 
 not done more, and been more engaged, while I had 
 opportunity for it seemed now as if the season of 
 doing was for ever over and gone but I instantly saw, 
 that let me have done what I would, it would no more 
 have tended to my helping myself, than what I had 
 done ; that I had made all the pleas I ever could have 
 made to all eternity ; and that all my pleas were vain. 
 The tumult that had been before in my mind was now 
 quieted ; and I was somewhat eased of that distress 
 which I felt while struggling against a sight of myself, 
 and of the divine sovereignty. I had the greatest CCN 
 tainty that my state was for ever miserable, for all that 
 I could do ; and wondered that I had never been sen- 
 sible of it before.
 
 1739.J HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. 23 
 
 " While I remained in this state my notions respect- 
 ing my duties were quite different from what I had 
 ever entertained in times past. Before this, the more 
 I did in duty, the more hard I thought it would be for 
 God to cast me off; though at the same time I con- 
 fessed, and thought I saw, that there was no goodness 
 or merit in my duties ; but now, the more I did in 
 prayer or any other duty, the more I saw that I was 
 indebted to God for allowing me to ask for mercy ; for 
 I saw that self interest had led me to pray, and that I 
 had never once prayed from any respect to the glory 
 of God. Now I saw that there was no necessary con- 
 nection between my prayers and the bestowment of 
 divine mercy ; that they laid not the least obligation upon 
 God to bestow his grace upon me ; and that there was no 
 more virtue or goodness in them than there would be 
 in rny paddling with my hand in the water, (which was 
 the comparison I had then in my mind ;) and this be- 
 cause they were not performed from any love or re- 
 gard to God. I saw that I had been heaping up my 
 devotions before God, fasting, praying, &c. pretend- 
 ing, and indeed really thinking sometimes, that I was 
 aiming at the glory of God ; whereas I never once 
 truly intended it, but only my own happiness. I saw 
 that as I had never done any thing for God, I had no 
 claim on any thing from him, but perdition, on ac- 
 count of my hypocrisy and mockery. Oh, how dif- 
 ferent did my duties now appear from what they used 
 to do ! I used to charge them with sin and imperfec- 
 tion ; but this was only on account of the wandering 
 and vain thoughts attending them, and not because I 
 had no regard to God in them ; for this I thought I had. 
 But when I saw evidently that I had had regard to 
 nothing but self-interest ; then they appeared a vile
 
 24 LIKE OF BRA1NEKI). | Chap. 1 
 
 mockery of God, self-worship, and a continued course 
 of lies. I saw that something worse had attended my 
 duties than barely a few wanderings ; for the whole 
 was nothing but self-worship, and an horrid abuse 
 of God. 
 
 " I continued, as I remember, in this state of mind 
 from Friday morning till the Sabbath evening follow- 
 ing, (July 12, 1739,) when I was walking again in the 
 same solitary place where I was brought to see mysel 
 lost and helpless, as before mentioned. Here, in a 
 mournful melancholy state, I was attempting to pray ; 
 but found no heart to engage in prayer or any 
 other duty. My former concern,, exercise, and re 
 ligious affections were now gone. I thought that the 
 Spirit of God had quite left me ; but still was not dis- 
 tressed ; yet disconsolate, as if there was nothing in 
 heaven or earth could make me happy. Having been 
 thus endeavoring to pray though, as I thought, very 
 stupid and senseless for near half an hour ; then, as I 
 was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable glory 
 seemed to open to the view and apprehension of my 
 soul. I do not mean any external brightness, for I 
 saw no such thing ; nor do I intend any imagination of 
 a body of light, somewhere in the third heavens, or 
 any thing of that nature ; but it was a new inward ap- 
 prehension or view that I had of God, such as I never 
 had before, nor any thing which had the least resem- 
 blance of it. I stood still, wondered, and admired ! I 
 knew that I never had seen before any thing compara 
 ble to it for excellency and beauty ; it was widely dif 
 ferent from all the conceptions that ever I had of God, 
 or things divine. I had no particular apprehension of 
 any one person in the Trinity, either the Father, the 
 Son, or the Holy Ghost ; but it appeared to be Divine
 
 1739. | HIS CONVICTION AND CONVERSION. 25 
 
 glory that I then beheld. My soul rejoiced with joy 
 unspeakable, to see such a God, such a glorious divine 
 Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied, 
 that he should be God over all for ever and ever. My 
 soul was so captivated and delighted with the excel- 
 lency, loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of 
 God, that I was even swallowed up in him ; at least to 
 that degree that I had no thought, as I remember, at 
 first, about my own salvation, and scarce reflected that 
 there was such a creature as myself. 
 
 " Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty disposi- 
 tion to exalt him, and set him on the throne, and prin- 
 cipally and ultimately to aim at his honor and glory, 
 as King of the universe. I continued in this state of 
 inward joy, peace and astonishment, till near dark, 
 without any sensible abatement; and then began to 
 think and examine what I had seen ; and felt sweetly 
 composed in my mind all the evening following. I 
 felt myself in a new world, and every thing about me 
 appeared with a different aspect from what it was 
 wont to do. 
 
 "At this time the way of salvation opened to me 
 with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excellency, 
 that I wondered I should ever think of any other way 
 of salvation ; I was amazed that I had not dropped my 
 own contrivances and complied with this lovely, blessed, 
 and excellent way before. If I could have been saved 
 by my own duties, or any other way that I had for- 
 merly contrived, my whole soul would now have re- 
 fused. I wondered that all the world did not see and 
 comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the 
 righteousness of Christ. 
 
 "The sweet relish of what I then felt continued with 
 me for several days, almost constantly, in a greater or
 
 26 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap I. 
 
 less degree. I could not but sweetly rejoice in God, 
 lying down and rising up. The next Lord's day I felt 
 something of the same kind, though not so powerful 
 as before. But not long after, I was again involved in 
 darkness, and in great distress ; yet not of the same kind 
 with my distress under convictions. I was guilty, 
 afraid, and ashamed to come before God ; and exceed- 
 ingly pressed with a sense of guilt; but it was not long 
 before I felt, I trust, true repentance and joy in God. 
 
 " In the beginning of September I went to Yale Col- 
 lege, and entered there ; but with some degree of re- 
 luctance, lest I should not be able to lead a life of strict 
 religion in the midst of so many temptations. After 
 this, in the vacation, before I went to tarry at college, 
 it pleased God to visit my soul with clearer manifesta- 
 tions of himself and his grace. I was spending some 
 time in prayer and self-examination, when the Lord, 
 by his grace, so shined into my heart, that I enjoyed 
 full assurance of his favor, for that time; and my soul 
 was unspeakably refreshed with divine and heavenly 
 enjoyments. At this time especially, as well as some 
 others, sundry passages of God's word opened to my 
 soul with divine clearness, power, and sweetness, so 
 as to appear exceeding precious, and with clear and 
 certain evidence of its being the word of God. I en- 
 joyed considerable sweetness in religion all the winter 
 following. 
 
 "In Jan. 1740, the measles spread much in college, 
 and I, having taken the distemper, went home to Had- 
 dam. But some days before I was taken sick I seem- 
 ed to be greatly deserted, and my soul mourned the 
 absence of the Comforter exceedingly. It seemed to 
 me that all comfort was for ever gone. 1 prayed and 
 cried to God for help, yet found no present comfort or
 
 1740.] AT YALE COLLEGE. 27 
 
 relief. But through divine goodness, a night or two 
 before I was taken ill, while I was walking alone in a 
 very retired place, and engaged in meditation and prayer, 
 I enjoyed a sweet refreshing visit, as I trust, from above; 
 so that my soul was raised far above the fears of death. 
 Indeed, I rather longed for death, than feared it. Oh, 
 how much more refreshing this one season was, than 
 all the pleasures and delights that earth can afford. 
 After a day or two I was taken with the measles, and 
 was very ill indeed, so that I almost despaired of life; 
 but had no distressing fears of death. Through divine 
 goodness I soon recovered; yet, owing to hard study, 
 and to my being much exposed to interruptions on ac- 
 count of my freshmanship, I had but little time for spi- 
 ritual duties, and my soul often mourned for want of 
 more time and opportunity to be alone with God. In 
 the spring and summer following I had better advan- 
 tages for retirement, and enjoyed more comfort in re- 
 ligion, though my ambition in my studies greatly 
 wronged the activity and vigor of my spiritual life. It 
 was, however, usually the case with me, that, "in the 
 multitude of my thoughts within me, God's comforts 
 principally delighted my soul." These were my great- 
 est consolations day by day. 
 
 "One day, I think it was in June, 1740, 1 walked to 
 a considerable distance from college, in the fields alone, 
 at noon, and in prayer found such unspeakable sweet- 
 ness and delight in God, that I thought, if I must con- 
 tinue in this evil world, I wanted always to be there, to 
 behold God 's glory. My soul dearly loved all mankind, 
 and longed exceedingly that they should enjoy what I 
 enjoyed. It seemed to be a little resemblance of heaven. 
 
 "Some time in August following I became so re- 
 ductd in health by too close application to my studies,
 
 28 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [ Chap. I. 
 
 that I was advised by my tutor to go home, and disen- 
 gage my mind from study as much as I could ; for I 
 was grown so weak that I began to raise blood. I took 
 his advice, and endeavored to lay aside my studies. 
 But being brought very low, I looked death in the face 
 more steadfastly; and the Lord was pleased to give 
 me renewedly a sweet sense and relish of divine things; 
 and particularly October 13, I found divine help and 
 consolation in the precious duties of secret prayer and 
 self-examination, and my soul took delight in the bless- 
 ed God : so likewise on the 17th of October. 
 
 Oct. 18. " In my morning devotions my soul was 
 exceedingly melted, and bitterly mourned over my 
 great sinfulness and vileness. I never before had felt so 
 pungent and deep a sense of the odious nature of sin, 
 as at this time. My soul was then unusually carried 
 forth in love to God, and had a lively sense of God's 
 love to me. And this love and hope, at that time case 
 out fear. 
 
 Lord's day, Oct. 19. " In the morning I felt my soul 
 hungering and thirsting after righteousness. While I 
 was looking on the elements of the Lord's Supper, and 
 thinking that Jesus Christ was now " set forth crucified 
 before me," my soul was filled with light and love, so 
 that I was almost in an ecstacy ; my body was so weak 
 I could scarcely stand. I felt at the same time an ex- 
 ceeding tenderness and most fervent love toward all 
 mankind ; so that my soul and all its powers seemed, 
 as it were, to melt into softness and sweetness. But 
 during the communion there was some abatement ol 
 this life and fervor. This love and joy cast out fear; 
 and my soul longed for perfect grace and glory. This 
 frame continued till the evening, when my soul was 
 sweetly spiritual in secret duties.
 
 1740. J AT YALE COLLEGE. 29 
 
 Oct. 20. " I again found the assistance of the Holy 
 Spirit in secret duties, both morning and evening, and 
 life and comfort in religion through the whole day. 
 
 Oct. 21. " I had likewise experience of the goodness 
 of God in ' shedding abroad his love in my heart,' and 
 giving me delight and consolation in religious duties; 
 and all the remaining part of the week my soul seem- 
 ed to be taken up with divine things. I now so longed 
 after God, and to be freed from sin, that, when I felt 
 myself recovering, and thought I must return to college 
 again, which had proved so hurtful to my spiritual in- 
 terests the year past, I could not but be grieved, and 
 thought I had much rather die ; for it distressed me to 
 think of getting away from God. But before I went 
 I enjoyed several other sweet and precious seasons of 
 communion with God, (particularly Oct. 30, and Nov. 
 4,) wherein my soul enjoyed unspeakable comfort. 
 
 "I returned to college about Nov. 6, and, through 
 the goodness of God, felt the power of religion almost 
 daily, for the space of six weeks. 
 
 Nov. 28. "In my evening devotion I enjoyed pre- 
 cious discoveries of God, and was unspeakably refresh- 
 ed with that passage, Heb. 12 : 22-24. My soul longed 
 to wing away to the paradise of God ; I longed to be 
 conformed to God in all things. A day or two after 
 I enjoyed much of the light of God's countenance, 
 most of the day ; and my soul rested in God. 
 
 Dec. 9. " I was in a comfortable frame of soul most 
 of the day ; but especially in evening devotions, when 
 God was pleased wonderfully to assist and strengthen 
 me; so that I thought nothing should ever move me 
 from the love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord. Oh! 
 one hour with God infinitely exceeds all the pleasures 
 and delights of this lower world.
 
 30 LIFE OP BHAINEHD. | Chap. I 
 
 '* Toward the latter part of January, 1741, I grew 
 more cold and dull in religion, by means of my old 
 temptation, ambition in my studies. But through di- 
 vine goodness, a great and general awakening spread 
 itself over the college, about the end of February, 
 in which I was much quickened, and more abundantly 
 engaged in religion." 
 
 This awakening was at the beginning of that extra- 
 ordinary religious commotion which then prevailed 
 through the land, and in which the college shared 
 largely. For thirteen months from this time BRAI- 
 NEHD kept a constant diary containing a very particu- 
 lar account of what passed from day to day, making 
 two volumes of manuscripts; but when he lay on his 
 death bed he gave orders (unknown to me till after his 
 death) that these two volumes should be destroyed, 
 inserting a notice, at the beginning of the succeeding 
 manuscripts, that a specimen of his manner of living 
 during that entire period would be found in the first 
 thirty pages next following, (ending with June 15, 
 1742,) except that he was now more " refined from 
 some imprudences and indecent heats" than before. 
 
 A circumstance in the life of BRAINERD, which gave 
 great offence to the rulers of the College, and occa- 
 sioned his expulsion, it is necessary should be here 
 particularly related. During the awakening in Col- 
 lege, there were several religious students who asso- 
 ciated together for mutual conversation and assistance 
 in spiritual things. These were wont freely to open 
 themselves one to another, as special and intimate 
 friends : BRAINERD was one of this company. And it 
 once happened, that he and two or three more of these 
 intimate friends were in the hall together after Mr.
 
 1741.J AT YALE COLLEGE. 31 
 
 Whittlesey, one of the tutors, had engaged in prayer 
 with the scholars ; no other person now remaining in 
 the hall but Brainerd and his companions. Mr. Whit- 
 tlesey having been unusually pathetic in his prayer, one 
 of Brainerd's friends on this occasion asked him what 
 he thought of Mr. Whittlesey ; he made answer, " He 
 has no more grace than this chair." One of the fresh- 
 men happening at that time to be near the hall, (though 
 not in the room,) over-heard these words ; and though 
 he heard no name mentioned, and knew not who was 
 thus censured, informed a certain woman in the town, 
 withal telling her his own suspicion, that Brainerd said 
 this of some one of the rulers of the College. Where- 
 upon she informed the Rector, who sent for this fresh- 
 man and examined him. He told the Rector the words 
 which he heard Brainerd utter; and informed him who 
 were in the room with him at that time. Upon this the 
 Rector sent for them. They were very backward to 
 inform against their friend respecting what they looked 
 upon as private conversation; especially as none but 
 they had heard or knew of whom he had uttered those 
 words : yet the Rector compelled them to declare what 
 he said, and of whom he said it. Brainerd looked on 
 himself as very ill used in the management of this af- 
 fair ; and thought that it was injuriously extorted from 
 his friends, and then injuriously required of him as 
 if he had been guilty of some open, notorious crime 
 to make a public confession, and to humble himself be- 
 fore the whole College in the hall, for what he had 
 said only in private conversation. He not complying 
 with this demand, and having gone once to the Sepa- 
 rate meeting at New-Haven, when forbidden by the 
 Rector ; and also having been accused by one person 
 of saying concerning the Rector, " that he wondered
 
 32 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. II. 
 
 he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the 
 scholars who followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, though 
 there was no proof of it ; (and Brainerd ever professed 
 that he did not remember saying any thing to that 
 purpose,) for these things he was expelled the college. 
 How far the circumstances and exigencies of that 
 day might justify such great severity in the governors of 
 the college, I will not undertake to determine ; it being 
 ray aim, not to bring reproach on the authority of the 
 college, but only to do justice to the memory of a per- 
 son who was, I think, eminently one of those whose 
 memory is blessed. The reader will see, in the sequel, 
 (particularly under date of Septemper 14, 15, 1743,) 
 in how Christian a manner Brainerd conducted him- 
 self with respect to this affair; though he ever, as 
 long as he lived, supposed himself ill used in the 
 management of it, and in what he suffered. His ex- 
 pulsion was in the winter, 1742, while in his third 
 year at college. 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 From about the time when he began the study of Theology, 
 
 till he was licensed to preach. 
 
 AprU 1, 1742 July 29, 1742. 
 
 IN the spring of 1742 Brainerd went to live with 
 the Rev. Mr. Mills of Ripton, to pursue his studies 
 with him for the work of the ministry. Here he 
 spent the greater part of the time until he was licensed 
 to preach ; but frequently rode to visit the neighboring 
 ministers, particularly Mr. Cooke of Stratford. Mr.
 
 1742. I WHILE STUDYING THEOLOGY. 33 
 
 Graham of Southbury, and Mr. Bellamy of Bethle- 
 hem. The following are extracts from his diary at 
 this period. 
 
 April 1, 1742." I seem to be declining, with res- 
 pect to my life and warmth in divine things ; have not 
 had so free access to God in prayer to-day as usual of 
 late. Oh that God would humble me deeply in the 
 dust before him ! I deserve hell every day, for not 
 loving my Lord more, who has, I trust, " loved me 
 and given himself for me j" and every time I am ena- 
 bled to exercise any grace renewedly, I am renewedly 
 indebted to the God of all grace for special assistance. 
 " Where then is boasting ?" Surely " it is excluded," 
 when we think how we are dependent on God for the 
 existence and every act of grace. O if ever I get to 
 heaven, it will be because God pleases, and nothing 
 else ; for I never did any thing of myself but get away 
 from God ! My soul will be astonished at the un- 
 searchable riches of divine grace when I arrive at the 
 mansions which the blessed Savior is gone before 
 to prepare. 
 
 April 2. " In the afternoon I felt, in secret prayer, 
 much resigned, calm and serene. What are all the 
 storms of this lower world if Jesus, by his Spirit, does 
 but come walking' on the seas ! Sometime past I had 
 much pleasure in the prospect of the Heathen being 
 brought home to Christ, and desired that the Lord 
 would employ me in that work ; but now my soul more 
 frequently desires to die, to be with Christ. Oh that 
 my soul were wrapt up in divine love, and my longing 
 desires after God increased ! In the evening was re- 
 freshed in prayer, with the hopes of the advancement 
 of Christ's kingdom in the world. 
 
 Lord's ilay, April 4. " My heart was wandering 
 
 Brainerd. 3
 
 34 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. II. 
 
 and lifeless. In the evening God gave me faith in 
 prayer, made my soul melt in some measure, and gave 
 me to taste a divine sweetness. O my blessed God ! 
 Let me climb up near to him, and love, and long, and 
 plead, and wrestle, and stretch after him, and for deli- 
 verance from the body of sin and death. Alas ! my 
 soul mourned to think I should ever lose sight of its 
 beloved again. " O come, Lord Jesus, Amen." 
 
 April 6. " I walked out this morning ; had an af- 
 fecting sense of my own vileness ; and cried to God to 
 cleanse me, to give me repentance and pardon. I then 
 began to find it sweet to pray ; and could think of un- 
 dergoing the greatest sufferings in the cause of Christ, 
 with pleasure ; and found myself willing, if God should 
 so order it, to suffer banishment from my native land, 
 among the heathen, that I might do something for 
 their salvation, in distresses and deaths of any kind. 
 Then God gave me to wrestle earnestly for others, for 
 the kingdom of Christ in the world, and for dear Chris- 
 tian friends. 
 
 April 8. " Had raised hopes to-day respecting the 
 heathen. Oh that God would bring in great numbers 
 of them to Jesus Christ ! I cannot but hope that I 
 shall see that glorious day. Every thing in this world 
 seems exceeding vile and little to me : I appear so to 
 myself. I had some little dawn of comfort to-day in 
 prayer; but especially to-night, I think I had some 
 faith and power of intercession with God. I was en- 
 abled to plead with God for the growth of grace in 
 myself; and many of the dear children of God then 
 lay with weight upon my soul. Blessed be the Lord ! 
 It is good to wrestle for divine blessings. 
 
 April 9. " Most of my time in morning devotion 
 was spent without sensible sweetness ; yet I had one
 
 1742.] WHILE STUDYING THEOLOGY. 35 
 
 delightful prospect of arriving at the heavenly world. 
 I am more amazed than ever at such thoughts ; for 1 
 see myself infinitely vile and unworthy. No poor 
 creature stands in need of divine grace more than I, 
 and none abuse it more than I have done, and still do. 
 
 Lord's day, April 11. " In the morning I felt but 
 little life ; yet my heart was somewhat drawn out in 
 thankfulness to God for his amazing grace and con- 
 descension to me, in past influences and assistances of 
 his Spirit. Afterward, I had some sweetness in the 
 thoughts of arriving at the heavenly world. O for the 
 happy day '. After public worship, God gave me spe- 
 cial assistance in prayer ; I wrestled with my dear 
 Lord, and intercession was made a delightful employ- 
 ment to me. In the evening, as I was viewing" the 
 light in the north, I was delighted in the contemplation 
 of the glorious morning of the resurrection. 
 
 April 12. " This morning the Lord was pleased to 
 lift up the light of his countenance upon me in secret 
 prayer, and made the season very precious to my soul. 
 Though I have been so depressed of late, respecting 
 my hopes of future serviceableness in the cause of God; 
 yet now I had much encouragement. I was especially 
 assisted to intercede and plead for poor souls, and for 
 the enlargement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and 
 for special grace for myself, to fit me for special ser- 
 vices. My faith lifted me above the world, and re- 
 moved all those mountains over which of late I could 
 not iook. I wanted not the favor of man to lean upon ; 
 for I knew that Christ's favor was infinitely better, and 
 that it was no matter when nor where, nor how Christ 
 should send me, nor what trials he should still exercise 
 me with, if I might be prepared for his work and will. 
 
 April 14. " My soul longed for communion with
 
 36 LIFE OF BRAINEKD. [ Chap. II 
 
 Christ, and for the mortification of indwelling corrup- 
 tion, especially spiritual pride. O, there is a sweet 
 day coming, wherein " the weary will be at rest !" 
 My soul has enjoyed much sweetness this day, in the 
 hope of its speedy arrival. 
 
 April 15. " My desires apparently centered in God 
 and I found a sensible attraction of soul after him sun- 
 dry times to-day. I know that / long- for God, and a 
 conformity to his will, in inward purity and holiness, 
 ten thousand times more than for any thing here 
 below. 
 
 Lord's day, April 18. " I retired early this morn- 
 ing into the woods for prayer ; had the assistance of 
 God's Spirit,and faith in exercise; and was enabled to 
 plead with fervency for the advancement of Christ's 
 kingdom in the world, and to intercede for dear, absent 
 friends. At noon, God enabled me to wrestle with 
 him, and to feel, as I trust, the power of divine love 
 in prayer. At night, I saw myself infinitely indebted 
 to God, and had a view of my failures in duty. It 
 seemed to me that I had done, as it were, nothing for 
 God, and that I had lived to him but a few hours of 
 my life. 
 
 April 19. " I set apart this day for fasting and 
 prayer to God for his grace ; especially to prepare me 
 for the work of the ministry ; to give me divine aid 
 and direction, in my preparations for that great work ; 
 and in his own time to send me into his harvest. Ac- 
 cordingly, in the morning I endeavored to plead for 
 the divine presence for the day, and not without some 
 life. In the forenoon I felt the power of intercession 
 for precious, immortal souls ; for the advancement of 
 the kingdom of my dear Lord and Savior in the world ; 
 and withal, a most sweet resignation and even conso-
 
 742.J WHILE STUDYING THEOLOGY. 37 
 
 lation and joy, in the thoughts of suffering hardships, 
 distresses, and even death itself, in the promotion of it, 
 and had special enlargement in pleading for the en- 
 lightening and conversion of the poor heathen. In the 
 afternoon God was with me of a truth. O, it was 
 blessed company indeed ! God enabled me so to ago- 
 nize in prayer, that I was quite wet with sweat, though 
 in the shade and the cool wind. My soul was drawn 
 out very much for the world ; I grasped for multitudes 
 of souls. I think I had more enlargement for sinners 
 than for the children of God ; though I felt as if I could 
 spend my life in cries for both. I had great enjoy- 
 ment in communion with my dear Savior. I think I 
 never in my life felt such an entire weanedness from 
 this world, and so much resigned to God in every 
 thing. O that I may always live to and upon my 
 blessed God ! Amen, Amen. 
 
 April 20. " This day I am twenty-four years of 
 age. O how much mercy have I received the year 
 past ! How often has God " caused his goodness to 
 pass before me !" And how poorly have I answered 
 the vows I made one year since, to be wholly the 
 Lord's, to be for ever devoted to his service! The 
 Lord help me to live more to hrs glory for the time to 
 come. This has been a sweet, a happy day to me; 
 blessed be God. I think my soul was never so drawn 
 out in intercession for others, as it has been this night. 
 Had a most fervent wrestle with the Lord to-night, for 
 my enemies ; and I hardly ever so longed to live to 
 God, and to be altogether devoted to him ; I wanted to 
 wear out my life in his service, and for his glory. 
 
 April 21. "Felt much calmness and resignation; 
 and God again enabled me to wrestle for numbers of 
 souls, and gave me fervency in the sweet duty of in
 
 38 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. II 
 
 tercession. I enjoy of late more sweetness in inter- 
 cession for others, than in any other part of prayer. 
 My blessed Lord really let me come near to him, and 
 plead with him. 
 
 Lord 's day, April 25. " This morning I spent about 
 two hours in secret duties, and was enabled, more than 
 ordinarily, to agonize for immortal souls. At night I 
 was exceedingly melted with divine love, and had some 
 feeling sense of the blessedness of the upper world. 
 Those words hung upon me with much divine sweet- 
 ness. Psa. 84 : 7. " They go from strength to strength, 
 every one of them in Zion appeareth before God." O 
 the near access that God sometimes gives us in our ad- 
 dresses to him ! This may well be termed " appearing 
 before God : " it is so indeed, in the true spiritual sense, 
 and in the sweetest sense. I think that I have not had 
 such power of intercession these many months, both 
 for God's children, and for dead sinners, as I have had 
 this evening I wished and longed for the coming of 
 my dear Lord: I longed to join the angelic hosts in 
 praises, wholly free from imperfection. O, the blessed 
 moment hastens ! All I want is to be more holy, more 
 like my dear Lord. Oh for sanctification! My very 
 soul pants for the complete restoration of the blessed 
 'mage of my Savior; that I may be fit for the blessed 
 enjoyments and employments of the heavenly world. 
 
 " Farewell, vain world ; my soul can bid Adieu 
 'My SAVJOR taught me to abandon you. 
 ' Your charms may gratify a SENSUAL mind 
 'But cannot please a soul for GOD design'd. 
 1 Forbear t ' entice ; cease then my soul to call ; 
 " Tis fixed through grace ; my God shall be iny ALL. 
 ' While he thus lets me>heavenly glories view, 
 " Your beautie* fade, my heart's no room for you."
 
 1742.] WHILE STUDYING THEOLOGY. 39 
 
 " The Lord refreshed my soul with many sweet pas- 
 sages of his word. O the New Jerusalem ! my soul 
 longed for it. O the song of Moses and the Lamb ! 
 And that blessed song, that no man can learn but they 
 who are " redeemed from the earth ! " 
 
 Lord, I'm a stranger here alone; _ 
 
 'Earth no true comforts can afford; 
 
 * Yet, absent from my dearest one, 
 
 'My soul delights to cry 'My Lord!" 
 
 ' JESUS, my Lord, my only love, 
 
 ' Possess my soul, nor ihence depart : 
 
 ' Grant me kind visits, heavenly Dovo ; 
 
 ' My God shall then have all my heart." 
 
 April 27. "I arose and retired early for secret de- 
 votions ; and in prayer, God was pleased to pour such 
 ineffable comforts into my soul, that I could do nothing 
 for some time but say over and over, " O my sweet Sa- 
 vior ! whom have I in Heaven but thee ? and there is 
 none upon earth that I desire beside thee." If I had 
 a thousand lives, my soul would gladly have laid them 
 all down at once, to have been with CHRIST. My soul 
 never enjoyed so much of heaven before ; it was the 
 most refined and most spiritual season of communion 
 with God I ever yet felt. 
 
 April 28. " I withdrew to my usualplace of retire- 
 ment, in great peace and tranquility, spent about two 
 hours in secret duties, and felt much as I did yester- 
 day morning, only weaker, and more overcome. I 
 seemed to depend wholly on my dear Lord ; weaned 
 from all other dependencies. I knew not what to say 
 to my God, but only lean on his bosom, as it were, and 
 breathe out my desires after a perfect conformity to 
 him in all things. Thirsting desires after perfect holi- 
 ness, and insatiable longings possessed ray soul. God
 
 40 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. Jl 
 
 *, ^j, 
 
 was no precious to me that the world, with all its enjoy- 
 ments, was infinitely vile. I had no more value for 
 the favor of men, than for pebbles. The LORD was my 
 ALL, and that he over-ruled all, greatly delighted me. 
 I think that my faith and dependence on God scarce 
 ever rose so high. I saw him such a fountain of good- 
 ness |hat it seemed impossible I should distrust nim 
 again, or be any way anxious about any thing that 
 should happen to me. I now had great satisfaction in 
 praying for absent friends, and for the enlargement of 
 Christ's kingdom in the world. Much of the power of 
 these divine enjoyments remained with me through 
 the day. In the evening my heart seemed to melt, and 
 I trust was really humbled for indwelling corruption, 
 and I " mourned like a dove." I felt that all my un- 
 happiness arose from my being a sinner. With resig- 
 nation, I could bid welcome to all other trials ; but sin 
 hung heavy upon me ; for God discovered to me the 
 corruption of my heart. I went to bed with a heavy 
 heart, because I was a sinner ; though I did not in the 
 least doubt of God's love. O that God would " purge 
 away my dross, and take away my tin," and make me 
 ten times refined ! 
 
 May I. "I was enabled to cry to God with fer 
 vency for ministerial qualifications, that he would ap 
 pear for the advancement of his own kingdom, and 
 that he would bring in the Heathen. Had much assis- 
 tance in my studies. This has been a profitable week 
 to me; I have enjoyed many communications of the 
 blessed Spirit in my soul. 
 
 May 3. " Had a sense of vile ingratitude. In the 
 morning I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, 
 and mourned for my abuse of my dear Lord ; spent 
 the day in fasting and prayer. God gave me much
 
 1742. j WHILE STUDYING THEOLOGY. 41 
 
 power of wrestling for his cause and kingdom ; and it 
 was a happy day to my soul. God was with me all 
 the day; and I was more above the world than ever in 
 my life. 
 
 May 13. (At Wethersfield.) "Saw so much of the 
 wickedness of my heart that I longed to get away 
 from myself. I never before thought that there was 
 so much spiritual pride in my soul. I felt almost 
 pressed to death with my own vileness. O what a 
 "body of death" is there in me ! Lord deliver my soul ! 
 t could not find any convenient place for retirement, 
 and was greatly exercised. Rode to Hartford in the 
 afternoon ; had some refreshment and comfort in reli- 
 gious exercises with Christian friends; but longed for 
 more retirement. O, the closest walk with God is the 
 sweetest heaven that can be enjoyed on earth ! 
 
 June 14. " Felt somewhat of the sweetness of com- 
 munion with God, and the constraining force of his 
 love; how admirably it captivates the soul, and makes 
 all the desires and affections centre in God ! I set 
 apart this day for secret fasting and prayer, to entreat 
 God to direct and bless me with regard to the great work 
 which I have in view, of preaching thegospel and that 
 the Lord would return to me, and individually " show 
 me the light of his countenance." Had little life and 
 power in the forenoon: near the middle of the afternoon 
 God enabled me to wrestle ardently in intercession for 
 absent friends : but just at night the Lord visited me 
 marvellously in prayer. 1 think my soul never was in 
 such an agony before. I felt no restraint, for the trea- 
 sures of divine grace were opened to me. I wrestled 
 for absent friends, for the ingathering of souls, for 
 multitudes of poor souls, and for many that I thought 
 were the children of God, in many distant places. I
 
 42 LIFE OF BRAINERD. ( Chap. II. 
 
 was in such an agony, from half an hour before sun- 
 set, till near dark, that I was all over wet with sweat : 
 but yet it seemed to me that I had wasted away the 
 day, and had done nothing. O, my dear Savior did 
 sweat blood for poor souls ! I longed for more com- 
 passion toward them. Felt still in a sweet frame, under 
 a sense of divine love and grace ; and went to bed in 
 such a frame, with my heart set on God. 
 
 June 15. " Had the most ardent longings after God. 
 At noon, in my secret retirement, I could do nothing 
 but tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew 1 
 desired nothing but himself, nothing but holiness ; that 
 he had given me these desires, and he only could give 
 me the thing desired. I never seemed to be so un- 
 hinged from myself, and to be so wholly devoted to 
 God. My heart was swallowed up in God most of the 
 day. In the evening I had such a view of the soul be- 
 ing, as it were, enlarged, to contain more holiness, that 
 it seemed ready to separate from my body. I then 
 wrestled in an agony for divine blessings; had my 
 heart drawn out in prayer for some Christian friends, 
 beyond what I ever had before. I feel differently now 
 from what I ever did under any enjoyments before; 
 more engaged to live to God for ever, and less pleased 
 with my own frames. I am not satisfied with my 
 frames, nor feel at all more easy after such strugglings 
 than before ; for it seems far too little, if I could al- 
 ways be so. O how short do I fall of my duty in my 
 sweetest moments ! 
 
 June 18. " Considering my great unfitness for the 
 work of the ministry, my present deadness, and total 
 inability to do any thing for the glory of God that way, 
 feeling myself very helpless, and at a great loss what 
 the Lord would have me to do; 1 set apart this day for
 
 1742.] WHILE STUDYING THEOLOGY. 43 
 
 prayer to God, and spent most of the day in that duty 
 but was amazingly deserted most of the day. Yet 1 
 found God graciously near, once in particular ; while i 
 was pleading for more compassion for immortal souls, 
 my heart seemed to be opened at once, and I was ena- 
 bled to cry with great ardency for a few minutes. O, 
 I was distressed to think, that I should offer such dead 
 cold services to the living God ! My soul seemed to 
 breathe after holiness, a life of constant devotedness to 
 God. But I am almost lost sometimes in the pursuit 
 of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because I con- 
 tinually fall short, and miss of my desire. O that the 
 Lord would help me to hold out, yet a little while, until 
 the happy hour of deliverance comes! 
 
 June 30. " Spent this day alone in the woods, in 
 fasting and prayer ; underwent the most dreadful con- 
 flicts in my soul. I saw myself so vile that I was 
 ready to say, " I shall now perish by the hand of 
 Saul." I thought that I had no power to stand for the 
 cause of God, but was almost afraid of the shaking of 
 a leaf. Spent almost the whole day in prayer, inces- 
 santly. I could not bear to think of Christians show- 
 ing me any respect. I almost despaired of doing any 
 service in the world : I could not feel any hope or 
 comfort respecting the heathen, which used to afford 
 me some refreshment in the darkest hours of this na- 
 ture. I spent the day in bitterness of soul. Near 
 night I felt a little better ; and afterward enjoyed 
 some sweetness in secret prayer. 
 
 July 1. " Had some enjoyment in prayer this morn- 
 ing ; and far more than usurl in secret prayer to-night, 
 and desired nothing so ardently as that God should do 
 loith me just as he pleased. 
 
 July 2. " Felt composed in secret prayer in the
 
 44 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. II, 
 
 morning. My desires ascended to God this day, as 
 I was traveling: was comfortable in the evening. 
 Blessed be God for all my consolations. 
 
 July 3. " My heart seemed again to sink. The dis- 
 grace I was laid under at college seemed to damp my 
 spirits ; as it opens the mouths of opposers. I had no 
 refuge but in God. Blessed be his name, that I may 
 go to him at all times, and find him a " present help.' 
 
 Lord's day, July 4. " Had considerable assistance 
 In the evening I withdrew, and enjoyed a happy sea- 
 son in secret prayer. God was pleased to give me the 
 exercise of faith, and thereby brought the invisible 
 and eternal world near to my soul ; which appeared 
 sweetly to me. I hoped that my weary pilgrimage in 
 the world would be short ; and that it would not be 
 long before 1 should be brought to my heavenly home 
 and Father's house. I was resigned to God's will, to 
 tarry his time, to do his work, and suffer his pleasure. 
 I felt thankfulness to God for all my pressing desertions 
 of late ; for I am persuaded that they have been made 
 a means of making me more humble, and much more 
 resigned. I felt pleased to be little, to be nothing, and 
 to lie in the dust. I enjoyed life and consolation in 
 pleading for the dear children of God, and the king- 
 dom of Christ in the world : and my soul earnestly 
 breathed after holiness, and the enjoyment of God. 
 " O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly." 
 
 July 29. " I was examined by the Association met 
 at Danbury, as to my learning, and also my experience 
 in religion, and received a licence from them to preach 
 the Gospel of Christ. Afterward felt much devoted 
 to God ; joined in prayer with one of the ministers, 
 my peculiar friend, in a convenient place ; and went 
 to bed resolving to live devoted to God all my days. n
 
 1742.] WHILE A LICENTIATE. 45 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 From kis being licensed to preach, tiU he was commissioned as o 
 Missionary. 
 
 July 30. Nov. 25, 1742. 
 
 July 30, 1742." Rode from Danbury to South- 
 bury ; preached there, from 1 Pet. 4 : 8. Had much 
 of the comfortable presence of God in the exercise. I 
 seemed to have power with God in prayer, and power 
 to get hold of the hearts of the people in preaching. 
 
 Aug. 12. (Near Kent.) " This morning and last 
 night I was exercised with sore inward trials : I had 
 no power to pray; but seemed shut out from God. I 
 had in a great measure lost my hopes of God's send- 
 ing me among the Heathen afar off, and of seeing 
 them flock home to Christ. I saw so much of my 
 vileness, that I wondered that God would let me live, 
 and that people did not stone me ; much more that 
 they would ever hear me preach ! It seemed as though 
 I never could preach any more ; yet about nine or ten 
 o'clock the people came over, and I was forced to 
 preach ; and blessed be God, he gave me his presence 
 and Spirit in prayer and preaching; so that I was 
 much assisted, and spake with power, from Job, 14 : 14, 
 Some Indians residing here, cried out in great dis- 
 tress, and all appeared greatly concerned. After we 
 had prayed and exhorted them to seek the Lord with 
 constancy, and hired an Englishwoman to keep a kind 
 of school among them, we came away." 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 15. " Felt much comfort and de- 
 votedness to God this day. At night, it was refresh- 
 ing to get alone with God, and pour out my smd. 0,
 
 46 LIFE OP BRAINERD. L Chap. HI. 
 
 who can conceive of the sweetness of communion 
 with the blessed God, but those who have experience 
 of it ! Glory to God for ever, that I may taste heaven 
 below. 
 
 Aug. 17. " Exceedingly depressed in spirit, it cuts 
 and wounds my heart to think how much self-exalta- 
 tion, spiritual pride, and warmth of temper, I have 
 formerly had intermingled with my endeavors to pro- 
 mote God's work : and sometimes I long to lie down 
 at the feet of opposers, and confess what a poor im- 
 perfect creature I have been, and still am. The Lord 
 forgive me, and make me, for the future, " wise as a 
 serpent, and harmless as a dove !" Afterward en- 
 joyed considerable comfort and delight of soul. 
 
 Aug. 19. " This day, being about to go from Mr. 
 Bellamy's, at Bethlehem, where I had resided some 
 time, I prayed with him and two or three other Chris- 
 tian friends. We gave ourselves to God with all our 
 hearts, to be his for ever : eternity looked ve/y near 
 to me while I was praying. If I never should see 
 these Christians again in this world, it seemed but a 
 few moments before I should meet them in another 
 world. 
 
 Aug. 23. " Had a sweet season in secret prayer : 
 the Lord drew near to my soul, and filled me with 
 peace and divine consolation. O, my soul tasted the 
 sweetness of heaven ; and was drawn out in prayer 
 for the world, that it might come home to Christ ! 
 Had much comfort in the thoughts and hopes of the 
 ingathering of the Heathen ; was greatly assisted in 
 intercession for Christian friends." 
 
 Sept. 1. " Went to Judea to the ordination of Mr. 
 Judd. Mr. Bellamy preached from Matt. 24 46. 
 ' Blessed is that servant whom his Lord, when he
 
 1742. J WHILE A LICENTIATE. 47 
 
 cometh, shall find so doing.' I felt very solemn ; had 
 my thoughts much on that time when our Lord will 
 come, which refreshed my soul much ; only I was 
 afraid I should not be found faithful, because I have 
 so vile a heart, My thoughts were much in eternity 
 where I love to dwell. Blessed be God for this solemn 
 season. Rode home to night with Mr. Bellamy, con- 
 versed with some friends till it was very late, and then 
 retired to rest in a comfortable frame. 
 
 Sept. 4. " Much out of health, exceedingly depressed 
 in my soul, and at awful distance from God. Toward 
 night, spent some time in profitable thoughts on Rom. 
 8 : 2. Near night, had a very sweet season in prayer ; 
 God enabled me to wrestle ardently for the advance- 
 ment of the Redeemer's kingdom ; pleaded earnestly 
 for my own dear brother John, (who at length became 
 his successor as a Missionary to the Indians,) that God 
 would make him more of a pilgrim and stranger on 
 the earth, and fit him for singular serviceableness in 
 the world ; and my heart sweetly exulted in the Lord, 
 in the thoughts of any distresses that might alight on 
 him or on me, in the advancement of Christ's king- 
 dom. It was a sweet and comfortable hour unto my 
 .' soul, while I was indulged with freedom to plead, not 
 only for myself, but also for many other souls. 
 
 Sept. 16. " At night, enjoyed much of God, in se- 
 cret prayer : felt an uncommon resignation to be and 
 do what God pleased. Some days past I felt great 
 perplexity on account of my past conduct : my bitter- 
 ness, and want of Christian kindness and love, has 
 been very distressing to my soul : the Lord forgive 
 me my unchristian warmth, and want of a spirit of 
 meekness ! v{ Jj/ 
 
 Oct. 21. " Had a very deep sense of the vanity of
 
 48 LIFE OF BKAINERD. [Chap. Ill 
 
 the world, most of the day ; had little more regard to 
 it, than if I had been to go into eternity the next hour. 
 Through divine goodness, I felt very serious and 
 solemn. O Hove to live on the brink of eternity, in my 
 views and meditations ! This gives me a sweet, awful 
 and reverential sense and apprehension of God and 
 divine things, when I see myself as it were, standing 
 before the judgment seat of Christ. 
 
 Oct. 22. " Uncommonly weaned from the world to- 
 day : my soul delighted to be a " stranger and pilgrim 
 on the earth ;" I felt a disposition in me never to have 
 any thing to do with this world. The character given 
 of some of the ancient people of God, in Heb. 11 : 13, 
 was very pleasing to me, " They confessed that they 
 were pilgrims and strangers on the earth," by their 
 daily practice ; and O that I could always do so ! 
 Spent some time in a pleasant grove, in prayer and 
 meditation. O it is sweet to be thus weaned from 
 friends, and from myself, and dead to the present 
 world, that so I may live wholly to and upon the 
 blessed God ! Saw myself little, low and vile, as I am 
 in myself. In the afternoon preached at Bethlehem 
 from Deut. 8 : 2. God helped me to speak to the 
 hearts of dear Christians. Blessed be the Lord for this 
 season : I trust they and I shall rejoice on this account 
 to all eternity. Dear Mr. Bellamy came in while I 
 was making the first prayer, (having returned home 
 from a journey,) and after meeting we walked away 
 together, and spent the evening in sweetly conversing 
 on divine things, and praying together, with tender 
 love to each other, and retired to rest with our hearts 
 in a serious spiritual frame. 
 
 Oct. 26." [At West Suffield.J Was in great dis- 
 tress, under a sense of my own unworthiness. It
 
 1742.J WHILE A LICENTIATE. 49 
 
 seemed to me that I deserved rather to be driven out 
 of the place, than to have any body treat me with 
 kindness, or come to hear me preach. And verily my 
 spirits were so depressed at this time (as at many 
 others) that it was impossible I should treat immortal 
 souls with faithfulness. I could not deal closely and 
 faithfully with them, I felt so infinitely vile in myself. 
 
 what dust and ashes I am, to think of preaching the 
 Gospel to others ! Indeed, I never can be faithful for 
 one moment, but shall certainly " daub with untem- 
 pered mortar," if God do not grant me special help. 
 In the evening I went to the meeting-house, and it 
 looked to me near as easy for one to rise out of the 
 grave and preach, as for me. However, God afforded 
 me some life and power, both in prayer and sermon ; 
 and was pleased to lift me up, and show me that he 
 could enable me to preach. O the wonderful goodness 
 of God to so vile a sinner ! Returned to my lodgings, 
 and enjoyed some sweetness in prayer alone, and 
 mourned that I could not live more to God. 
 
 November 4. " [At Lebanon.] Saw much of my 
 nothingness most of this day ; but felt concerned that 
 
 1 had no more sense of my insufficiency and unwor- 
 thiness. O it is sweet lying in the dust I But it is dis- 
 tressing to feel in my soul that hell of corruption 
 which still remains in me. In the afternoon had a 
 sense of the sweetness of a strict, close, and constant 
 devotedness to God, and my soul was comforted with 
 his consolations. My soul felt a pleasing, yet painful 
 concern, lest I should spend some moments without 
 Gua. O may I always live to God ! In the evening I 
 was visited by some friends, and spent the time in 
 prayer, and such conversation as tended to our edifica- 
 tion. It was a comfortable season to my soul : I felt an 
 
 Brainerd. 4
 
 SO LIFE OF BRAINERD. [ Chap. Ill 
 
 intense desire to spend every moment for God. God 
 is unspeakably gracious to me continually. In times 
 past, he has given me inexpressible sweetness in the 
 performance of duty. Frequently my soul has enjoyed 
 much of God ; but has been ready to say, " Lord, it is 
 good to be here," and so to indulge sloth, while I have 
 lived on my enjoyments. But of late, God has been 
 pleased to keep my soul hungry, almost continually ; 
 so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain. 
 When I really enjoy God I feel my desires of him the 
 more insatiable, and my thirstings after holiness the 
 more unquenchable ; and the Lord will not allow me 
 to feel as though I were fully supplied and satisfied, 
 but keeps me still reaching forward. I feel barren and 
 empty, as though I could not live without more of 
 God ; I feel ashamed and guilty before him. I see that 
 " the law is spiritual, but I am carnal." I do not, I 
 cannot live to God. O for holiness ! O for more of 
 God in my soul ! O this pleasing pain ! It makes my 
 soul press after God ; the language of it is, " Then 
 shall I be satisfied, when I awake in God's likeness," 
 but never, never before : and consequently, lam en- 
 gaged to " press toward the mark," day by day. O 
 that I may feel this continual hunger, and not be re- 
 tarded, but rather animated, by every cluster from Ca- 
 naan, to reach forward in the narrow way for the full 
 enjoyment and possession of the heavenly inheritance ! 
 O that I may never loiter in my heavenly journey !" 
 Lord's day, Nov. 7. " [At Millington.] It seemed 
 as if such an unholy wretch as I never could arrive al 
 that blessedness, to be " holy, as God is holy." At 
 noon, I longed for sanctification, and conformity 10 
 God. O that is THE ALL, THE ALL. The Lord help me 
 to press after God for ever.
 
 1742.J WHILE A LICENTIATE. 51 
 
 Nov. 8. " Toward night, enjoyed much sweetness 
 in secret prayer, so that my soul longed for an arrival 
 in the heavenly country, the blessed paradise of God. 
 Through divine goodness I have scarce seen the day 
 for two months, in which death has not looked so plea- 
 sant to me, at one time or other of the day, that I could 
 have rejoiced that it should be my last, notwithstand- 
 ing my present inward trials and conflicts. I trust the 
 Lord will finally make me a conqueror, and more than 
 a conqueror ; and that I shall be able to use that trium- 
 phant language, " O death, where is thy sting ! O grave, 
 where is thy victory !" 
 
 Nov. 19. " [At New-Haven.] Received a letter from 
 the Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of New-York, desiring me 
 speedily to go down thither, and consult in reference 
 to the evangelizing of the Indians in those parts; and 
 to meet certain gentlemen there who were intrusted 
 with those affairs. My mind was instantly seized with 
 concern ; so I retired, with two or three Christian 
 friends, and prayed ; and indeed it was a sweet time 
 with me. I was enabled to leave myself, and all my 
 concerns with God ; and taking leave of friends, I rode 
 to Ripton, and was comforted in an opportunity to see 
 and converse with dear Mr. Mills." 
 
 Nov. 24. " Came to New- York ; felt still much con- 
 cerned about the importance of my business; made 
 many earnest requests to God for his help and direc- 
 tion ; was confused with the noise and tumult of the 
 city ; enjoyed but little time alone with God ; but my 
 soul longed after him. 
 
 Nov. 25. " Spent much time in prayer and suppli- 
 cation : was examined in reference to my Christian ex- 
 perience, my acquaintance with divinity, and some 
 other studies and my qualifications for the important
 
 52 LIFE OF BKAINEKU. [Chap. IV 
 
 work of evangelizing the heathen ,* and was made sen- 
 sible of my great ignorance and unfitness for public 
 service. I had the most abasing thoughts of myself; 
 I felt that I was the worst wretch that ever lived : it 
 pained my very heart, that any body should show me 
 any respect. Alas ! methought how sadly they are 
 deceived in me ! how miserably would they be disap- 
 pointed if they knew my inside ! O my heart ! And 
 in this depressed condition I was forced to go and 
 preach to a considerable assembly, before some grave 
 and learned ministers ; but felt such a pressure from a 
 sense of my vileness, ignorance, and unfitness to ap- 
 pear in public, that I was almost overcome with it ; 
 my soul was grieved for the congregation, that they 
 should sit there to hear such a dead dog as I preach. 
 I thought myself infinitely indebted to the people, and 
 longed that God would reward them with the rewards 
 of his grace. I spent much of the evening alone." 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 From his appointment as a Missionary, to his contmencing Ais 
 Mission among the Indians at Kaunaumcek, in New-York. 
 
 Nov. 26, 3742. March 31, 1743. 
 
 Nov. 26, 1742. " Had still a sense of my great vile- 
 ness, and endeavored as much as I could to keep alone. 
 O what a nothing, what dust and ashes am I ! Enjoyed 
 
 * Mr. Brainerd was examined by the correspondents in New 
 York, New-Jersey, and Pennsylvania, of the Society in Scot- 
 land for propagating Christian knowledge ; to whom was com- 
 mitted the management of their affairs in those parts, and who 
 were now met at New-York.
 
 1742.J WHILE A LICENTIATE. 58 
 
 some peace and comfort in spreading my complaints 
 before the God of all grace. 
 
 Nov. 27. " Committed my soul to God with some 
 degree of comfort ; left New- York about nine in the 
 morning ; came away with a distressing sense still of 
 my unspeakable unworthiness. Surely I may well 
 love all my brethren ; for none of them all is so vile 
 as I: whatever they do outwardly, yet it seems to me 
 none is conscious of so much guilt before God. O my 
 leanness, my barrenness, my carnality, and past bitter- 
 ness, and want of a gospel temper ! These things op- 
 press my soul. Rode from New-York, thirty miles, to 
 White Plains, and most of the way continued lifting 
 up my heart to God for mercy and purifying grace; 
 and spent the evening much dejected in spirit. 
 
 Dec. 1. " My soul breathed after God, in sweet 
 spiritual and longing desires of conformity to him, 
 and was brought to rest itself on his rich grace, and 
 felt strength and encouragement to do or suffer any 
 thing, that divine providence should allot me. Rode 
 about twenty miles, from Stratfield to Newtown." 
 
 Within the space of the next nine days he went a 
 journey from Newtown to Haddam, his native town; 
 and after staying there some days, returned again 
 into the western part of Connecticut, and came to 
 Southbury. 
 
 Dec. 11. " Conversed with a dear friend, to whom 
 I had thought of giving a liberal education, and being 
 at the whole charge of it, that he might be fitted for the 
 gospel ministry.* I acquainted him with my thoughts 
 
 * Brainerd, having now undertaken the business of a mis- 
 sionary to the Indians, and having some estate left him by his 
 father, judged that there was 110 way in which he could spend 
 it more fnr the glory of God, than hy being at the charge of
 
 64 LIFE OF- BRAINERD. [Chap. IV 
 
 on the subject, and so left him to consider of i(, till I 
 should see him again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, 
 came to Mr. Bellamy's lodgings, and spent the evening 
 with him in sweet conversation and prayer. We com- 
 mended the concern of sending my friend to college 
 to the God of all grace. Blessed be the Lord for this 
 evening's opportunity together. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 12. " I felt, in the morning, as if 
 I had little or no power either to pray or preach ; and 
 felt a distressing need of divine help. 1 went to meeting 
 trembling ; but it pleased God to assist me in prayer 
 and sermon. I think my soul scarce ever penetrated 
 so far into the immaterial world, in any one prayer 
 that I ever made, nor were my devotions ever so free 
 from gross conceptions and imaginations framed from 
 beholding material objects. I preached with some 
 satisfaction, from Matt. 6 : 33. "But seek ye first the 
 kingdom of God," &c. ; and in the afternoon, from 
 Rom. 15 : 30. "And now I beseech you brethren,'' 
 &c. There was much affection in the assembly. This 
 has been a sweet Sabbath to me ; and blessed be God, 
 I have reason to think that my religion has become 
 more spiritual by means of my late inward conflicts. 
 Amen. May I always be willing that God should use 
 his own methods with me ! 
 
 Dec. 14. " Some perplexity hung on my mind ; I 
 was distressed last night and this morning for the in- 
 terests of Zion, especially on account of the false ap- 
 pearances of religion, that do but rather breed confu- 
 
 cducating some young man of talents and piety for the minis- 
 try. The young man here spoken of was selected for this pur- 
 pose, and received his education at Braiuerd's expense, so 
 long as his benefactor lived, which was till he was carried 
 through his third vear in college.
 
 1742. j WHILE A LICENTIATE. 55 
 
 sion, especially in some places. I cried to God for 
 help, to enable me to bear testimony against those 
 things, which, instead of promoting, do but hinder the 
 progress of vital piety. In the afternoon, rode down 
 to Southbury, and conversed again with my friend 
 on the important subject of his pursuing the work of 
 the ministry ; and he appeared much inclined to de- 
 vote himself to it, if God should succeed his attempts 
 to qualify himself for so great a work. In the evening 
 1 preached from 1 Thess. 4:8, and endeavored, though 
 with tenderness, to undermine false religion. The 
 Lord gave me some assistance. 
 
 Dec. 15. " Enjoyed something of God to-day, both 
 in secret and social prayer ; but was sensible of much 
 barrenness and defect in duty, as well as my inability to 
 help myself for the time to come, or to perform the 
 work and business I have to do. Afterward, felt much 
 of the sweetness of religion, and the tenderness of the 
 gospel-temper. I found a dear love to all mankind, 
 and was much afraid lest some motion of anger or 
 resentment should, from time to time creep into my 
 heart. Had some comforting, soul-refreshing discourse 
 with dear friends, just as we took our leave of each 
 other ; and supposed it might be we should not meet 
 again till we came to the eternal world.* I doubt not 
 but, through grace, some of us shall have a happy 
 
 * It had been determined by the Commissioners, who em- 
 ployed Brainerd as a missionary, that he should go, as soon as 
 might be conveniently, to the Indians living near the Forks of 
 Delaware river, and the Indians on Susquehanna river. The 
 distance of those places, and his probable exposure to many 
 hardships and dangers, was the occasion of his taking leave 
 of his friends in this manner.
 
 56 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Ch&p.lV. 
 
 meeting there, and biess God for this season, as well as 
 many others. Amen. 
 
 Dec. 18. " Spent much time in prayer in the woods ; 
 and seemed raised above the things of the world : my 
 soul was strong in the Lord of Hosts j but was sensible 
 of great barrenness. 
 
 Dec. 23. " Enjoyed, I trust, the presence of God 
 this morning in secret. O, how divinely sweet is it 
 to come into the secret of his presence, and abide in 
 his pavilion ! 
 
 Dec. 27. "Enjoyed a precious season indeed; had 
 a melting sense of divine things, of the pure spirituality 
 of the religion of Christ Jesus. In the evening I 
 preached from Matt. 6 : 33. with much freedom, power 
 and pungency: the presence of God attended our meet- 
 ing. O, the sweetness, the tenderness I felt in my 
 soul ! If ever I felt the temper of Christ, I had some 
 sense of it now. Blessed be my God, I have seldom 
 enjoyed a more comfortable and profitable day than 
 this. O, that I could spend all my time for God ! 
 
 Jan. 14, 1743. "My spiritual conflicts to-day were 
 unspeakably dreadful, heavier than the mountains and 
 over-flowing floods. I was deprived of all sense of 
 God, even of the being of a God ; and that was my 
 misery. The torments of the damned, I am sure, will 
 consist much in a privation of God, and consequently 
 of all good. This taught me the absolute dependence 
 of a creature upon God the Creator, for every crumb 
 of happiness it enjoys. O, I feel that, if there is no 
 God, though I might live for ever here, and enjoy nol 
 only this, but all other worlds, I should be ten thousand 
 times more miserable than a reptile. 
 
 Lord's day, Jan. 23. " I scarce ever felt myself so 
 unfit to exist as now : saw I was not worthy of a place
 
 1743. j WHILE A LICENTIATE. 57 
 
 among the Indians, where I am going, if God permit: 
 thought I should be ashamed to look them in the face, 
 and much more to have any respect shown me there. 
 Indeed I felt myself banished from the earth, as if all 
 places were too good for such a wretch. I thought I 
 should be ashamed to go among the very savages of 
 Africa; I appeared to myself a creature fit for nothing, 
 neither heaven nor earth. None know but those who 
 feel it, what the soul endures that is sensibly shut out 
 from the presence of God : alas ! it is more bitter than 
 death. 
 
 Feb. 2. " Preached my farewell sermon last night, 
 at the house of an aged man, who had been unable to 
 attend on public worship for some time. This morn- 
 ing spent the time in prayer, almost wherever I went ; 
 and having takenleave of friends, I set out on my journey 
 toward the Indians ; though I was first to spend some 
 weeks at East-Hampton, on Long-Island, by leave of 
 the commissioners ; the winter season being judged 
 unfavorable for the commencement of the mission. 
 
 Feb. 12. [At East-Hampton.] "Enjoyed a little 
 more comfort ; was enabled to meditate with some com- 
 posure of mind ; and especially in the evening, found 
 my soul more refreshed in prayer than at any time of 
 late ; my soul seemed to " take hold of God 's strength," 
 and was comforted with his consolations. O, how 
 sweet are some glimpses of divine glory ! how strength- 
 ening and quickening ! 
 
 Feb. 15. " Early in the day I felt some comfort , 
 afterward I walked into a neighboring grove, and felt 
 more as a stranger on earth, I think, than ever before; 
 dead to any of the enjoyments of the world. In the 
 evening had divine sweetness in secret duty : God was 
 then my portion, and my soul rose above those deep
 
 58 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [ Clla P' IV 
 
 waters, into which I have sunk so low of late. My 
 soul then cried for Zion, and had sweetness in so doing." 
 
 Feb. 17. "Preached this day at a little village in 
 East-Hampton; and God was pleased to give me his 
 gracious presence and assistance, so that I spake with 
 freedom, boldness, and some power. In the evening 
 spent some time with a dear Christian friend ; and 
 felt serious, as on the brink of eternity. Our inter- 
 view was truly a little emblem of heaven itself. I find 
 my soul is more refined and weaned from a depen- 
 dence on my frames and spiritual feelings. 
 
 Feb. 18. "Had some enjoyment most of the day, 
 and found access to the throne of grace. Blessed be 
 the Lord for any intervals of heavenly delight and 
 composure, while I am engaged in the field of battle. 
 O, that I might be serious, solemn, and always vigi- 
 lant, while in an evil world! Had some opportunity 
 alone to-day, and found some freedom in study. O, I 
 long to live to God!" 
 
 During the next two weeks it appears that for the 
 most part he enjoyed much spiritual peace and com- 
 fort. In his diary for this space of time, are expressed 
 such things as these; mourning over indwelling sin, 
 unprofitableness; deadness to the world ; longing after 
 God, and to live to his glory; heart melting desires 
 after his eternal home ; fixed reliance on God for his 
 help; experience of much divine assistance, both in 
 the private and public exercises of religion ; inward 
 strength and courage in the service of God ; very fre- 
 quent refreshment, consolation, and divine sweetness 
 in meditation, prayer, preaching, and Christian conver- 
 sation. And it appears by his account, that this space 
 of time was filled up with great diligence and earnest- 
 ness in serving God ; in study, prayer, meditation, 
 preachingi and privately instructing and counseling.
 
 I743.J WHILE A LICENTIATE. 59 
 
 March 7. " This morning when I arose I found 
 my heart go forth after God in longing desires of con- 
 formity to him, and in secret prayer found myself sweet- 
 ly quickened and drawn out in praises to God for all 
 he had done to and for me, and for all my inward trials 
 and distress of late. My heart ascribed glory, glory, 
 glory to the blessed God ! and bid welcome to all in- 
 ward distress again, if God saw meet to exercise me 
 with it. Time appeared but an inch long, and eternity 
 at hand ; and I thought I could with patience and 
 cheerfulness bear any thing for the cause of God ; for 
 I saw that a moment would bring me to a world of 
 peace and blessedness. My soul, by the strength of 
 the Lord, rose far above this lower world, and all the 
 vain amusements and frightful disappointments of it. 
 
 Lord's day, March 13. "At noon, I thought it im- 
 possible for me to preach, by reason of bodily weak- 
 ness and inward deadness. In the first prayer, I was 
 so weak that I could scarcely stand ; but in the sermon, 
 God strengthened me, so that I spake near an hour and 
 a half with sweet freedom, clearness, and some tender 
 power, from Gen. 5 : 24. " And Enoch walked with 
 God." I was sweetly assisted to insist on a close walk 
 with God, and to leave this as my parting advice to 
 God's people here, that they should " walk with God." 
 May the God of all grace succeed my poor labors in 
 this place ! 
 
 March 14. " In the morning was very busy in pre- 
 paration for my journey, and was almost continually 
 engaged in ejaculatory prayer. About ten took leave 
 of the dear people of East-Hampton ; my heart grieved 
 and mourned, and rejoiced at the same time ; rode near 
 fifty miles to a part of Brook-Haven, and lodged there, 
 and had refreshing conversation with a Christian 
 friend."
 
 60 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IV 
 
 In two days more he reached New- York ; but com- 
 plains of much desertion and deadness on the road. 
 He stayed one day in New-York, and on Friday went 
 to Mr. Dickinson's at Elizabeth-Town. 
 
 March. 19. " Was bitterly distressed under a sense 
 of my ignorance, darkness, and un worthiness ; got 
 alone, and poured out my complaint to God in the bit- 
 terness of my soul. In the afternoon rode to Newark, 
 and had some sweetness in conversation and prayer 
 with Mr. Burr. O blessed be God for ever and ever, for 
 any enlivening and quickening seasons. 
 
 Lord's day, March 20. " Preached in the forenoon : 
 God gave me some assistance, and enabled me to speak 
 with real tenderness, love, and impartiality. In the 
 evening preached again; and of a truth God was 
 pleased to assist a poor worm. Blessed be God, I was 
 enabled to speak with life, power, and desire of the edi- 
 fication of God's people ; and with some power to sin- 
 ners. In the evening 1 was watchful, lest my heart 
 should by any means be drawn away from God. O 
 when shall I come to that blessed world where every 
 power of my soul will be incessantly and eternally 
 wound up in heavenly employments and enjoyments, 
 to the highest degree !" 
 
 On Monday he went to Woodbridge, New- Jersey, 
 where he met the Correspondents, who, instead of send- 
 ing him to the Indians at the Forks of the Delaware, 
 as before intended, directed him to go to a number oi 
 Indians at Kaunaumeek ; a place in New- York, in the 
 woods between Stockbridge and Albany. This alte- 
 ration was occasioned by two things. 1. Information 
 which the correspondents had received of some con- 
 tention between the white people and the Indians on 
 the Delaware, concerning their lands ; which they sup-
 
 1743.J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 61 
 
 posed would be a hinderance to the success of a mis- 
 sionary among them at that time. 2. Some intimations 
 which they had received from Mr. Sergeant, Mission- 
 ary to the Indians at Stockbridge, concerning the In- 
 dians at Kaunaumeek, and the hopeful prospect of suc- 
 cess which a Missionary might have among them. 
 
 On the day following he set out on his journey for 
 Kaunaumeek, and arrived at Mr. Sergeant's house in 
 Stockbridge March 31. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 His labors for nearly a year among the Indians at Kaunaumeek 
 temporal deprivations and sufferings establishes a school 
 confession offered to the faculty of Yale College days of fast- 
 ing methods of instructing the Indians visit to New-Jer- 
 sey and Connecticut commencement of labor among the In- 
 dians at the Forks of the Delaware Ordination. 
 
 April 1, 1743. June 12, 1744. 
 
 April 1, 1743. " I rode to Kaunaumeek, in the wil- 
 derness, near twenty miles from Stockbridge, and about 
 an equal distance from Albany, where the Indians live 
 with whom I am concerned ;and lodged with a poor 
 Scotchman, about a mile and a half distant from them, 
 on a little heap of straw, in a log room without any 
 floor. I was greatly exercised with inward trials, and 
 seemed to have no God to go to. O that God would 
 help me ! 
 
 April 7. " Appeared to myself exceedingly ignorant, 
 weak, helpless, unworthy, and altogether unequal to 
 my work. It seemed to me that I should never do 
 any service, or have any success among the Indians.
 
 
 62 LIFE OP BRAINERD. | Chap. V 
 
 My soul was weary of my life ; I longed for death, be 
 yond measure. When I thought of any godly soul de- 
 parted, my soul was ready to envy him his privilege, 
 thinking, "O when will my turn come! must it be 
 years first!" But I know these ardent desires, at this 
 and other times, rose partly from the want of resigna- 
 tion to God under all miseries ; and so were but impa- 
 tience. Toward night I had the exercise of faith in 
 prayer, and some assistance in writing. O that God 
 would keep me near him ! 
 
 Lord's day, April 10. "Rose early in the morning 
 and walked out and spent a considerable time in the 
 woods, in prayer and meditation. Preached to the In- 
 dians, both forenoon and afternoon. They behaved 
 soberly in general : two or three in particular appeared 
 to be under some religious concern ; with whom I dis- 
 coursed privately ; and one told me, " that her heart 
 had cried ever since she first heard me preach." 
 
 April 16. " In the afternoon preached to my people ; 
 but was more discouraged with them than before ; 
 feared that nothing would ever be done for them to 
 any happy effect. I retired and poured out my soul 
 to God for mercy; but without any sensible relief. 
 Soon after, two ungodly men came, with a design, as 
 they said, to hear me preach the next day ; but none 
 can tell how I felt to hear their profane talk. O, I 
 longed that some dear Christian should know my dis- 
 tress. I got into a kind of hovel, and there groaned 
 out my complaint to God ; and withal felt more sensi- 
 ble gratitude and thankfulness to God, that he had 
 made me to differ from these men, as I knew, through 
 grace, he had. 
 
 Lord's day, April 17. " In the morning was again 
 distressed as soon as I awaked, hearing much talk
 
 1743.J AT KAUNAOMEEK. 63 
 
 about the world, and the things of it. I perceived that 
 the men were in some measure afraid of me; and I 
 discoursed about sanctifying the Sabbath, if possible 
 to solemnize their minds ; but when they were at a 
 little distance, they again talked freely about secular 
 affairs. O I thought what a hell it would be to live with 
 such men to eternity ! The Lord gave me some assist- 
 ance in preaching, all day, and some resignation, and 
 a small degree of comfort in prayer, at night. 
 
 April 19. " In the morning I enjoyed some sweet 
 repose and rest in God ; felt some strength and confi- 
 dence in him ; and my soul was in some measure re- 
 freshed and comforted. Spent most of the day in 
 writing, and had some exercise of grace, sensible and 
 comfortable. My soul seemed lifted above the deep 
 waters, wherein it has long been almost drowned ; felt 
 some spiritual longings and breathings after God ; and 
 found myself engaged for the advancement of Christ's 
 kingdom in my own soul. 
 
 April 20. " Set apart this day for fasting and 
 prayer, to bow my soul before God for the bestowment 
 of divine grace ; especially that all my spiritual afflic- 
 tions, and inward distresses, might be sanctified to my 
 soul. And endeavored also to remember the goodness 
 of God to me the year past,- this day being my birth 
 day. Having obtained help of God, I have hitherto 
 lived, and am now arrived at the age of twenty-five 
 years. My soul was pained to think of my barrenness 
 and deadness ; that I have lived so little to the glory 
 of the eternal God. I spent the day in the woods 
 alone, and there poured out my complaint to God. O 
 that God would enable me to live to his glory for the 
 future ! 
 
 May 10. " Was in the same state as to my mind,
 
 64 LIFE OF BKALNCRD. LCUap. V 
 
 that I have been in for some time ; extremely op- 
 pressed with a sense of guilt, pollution, and blindness, 
 "The iniquity of my heels hath compassed me about: 
 the sins of my youth have been set in order before 
 me ; they have gone over my head, as an heavy bur- 
 den, too heavy for me to bear." Almost all the actions 
 of my life past seem to be covered over with sin and 
 guilt ; and those of them that I performed in the most 
 conscientious manner, now fill me with shame and 
 confusion, that I cannot hold up my face. O, the pride, 
 selfishness, hypocrisy, ignorance, bitterness, party 
 zeal, and the want of love, candor, meekness, and 
 gentleness, that have attended my attempts to promote 
 the interests of religion ; and this, when I have reason 
 to hope I had real assistance from above, and some 
 sweet intercourse with heaven ! But alas, what cor- 
 rupt mixtures attended my best duties !" 
 
 May 18. " My circumstances are such that I have 
 no comfort of any kind, but what I have in God. I 
 live in the most lonesome wilderness ; have but one 
 single person to converse with that can speak Eng- 
 lish.* Most of the talk I hear, is either Highland 
 Scotch, or Indian. I have no fellow-christian to whom 
 I may unbosom myself, or lay open my spiritual sor- 
 rows ; with whom I may take sweet counsel in con- 
 versation about heavenly things, and join in social 
 prayer. I live poorly with regard to the comforts of 
 
 * This person was BRAINERD'S interpreter, an ingenious 
 young Indian, belonging to Stockbridge, whose name was John 
 Wauwaumpequunnaunt. He had been instructed in the Chris- 
 tian religion by Mr. Sergeant ; had lived with the Rev. Mr. 
 Williams, of Long-Meadow ; had been further instructed by 
 him, at the charge of Mr. Hollis, of London ; and understood 
 both English and Indian very well, and wrote a good hand.
 
 1743.J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 65 
 
 life : most of my diet consists of boiled corn, hasty- 
 pudding, &c. I lodge on a bundle of straw, my labor 
 is hard and extremely difficult, and I have little ap- 
 pearance of success to comfort me. The Indians have 
 no land to live on but what the Dutch people lay claim 
 to ; and these threaten to drive them off. They have 
 no regard to the souls of the poor Indians ; and by 
 what I can learn, they hate me because I come to 
 preach to them. But that which makes all my diffi- 
 culties grievous to be borne, is, that God hides his face 
 from me. 
 
 May 20. " Was much perplexed some part of the 
 day ; but toward night had some comfortable medi- 
 tations on Isa. 40 : 1. " Comfort ye, comfort ye my 
 people, saith your God," and enjoyed some sweetness 
 in prayer. Afterward my soul rose so far above the 
 deep waters, that I dared to rejoice in God. I saw that 
 there was sufficient matter of consolation in the blessed 
 God." 
 
 On Monday, May 30, he set out on a journey to 
 New-Jersey to consult the commissioners, and ob'tain 
 orders from them to set up a school among the Indians 
 at Kaunaumeek, and that his interpreter might be 
 appointed the schoolmaster ; which was according- 
 ly done. He proceeded from New-Jersey to New- 
 Haven, where he arrived on Monday, June 6; at- 
 tempted a reconciliation with the faculty of the col- 
 lege ; and spent this week in visiting his friends in 
 those parts, and in his journey homeward, till Satur- 
 day, in a pretty comfortable frame of mind. On Satur- 
 day, in his way from Stockbridge to Kaunaumeek, he 
 was lost in the woods,-end lay all night in the open air ; 
 but happily found his way in the morning, and came 
 to his Indians on Lord's day, June 12, and had greater 
 
 Rrainerd. 5
 
 66 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V 
 
 assistance in preaching among them than ever before, 
 since his first coming among them. 
 
 From this time forward he was the subject of various 
 frames and exercises of mind, in the general much 
 after the same manner as hitherto from his first com- 
 ing to Kaunaumeek, till he got into his own house, (a 
 little hut, which he made chiefly with his own hands, 
 by long and hard labor.) He found that the distance 
 of the family with whom he at first lodged, debarred 
 him from many favorable opportunities of access to 
 the Indians, especially morning and evening ; and after 
 about three months, removed and lived with the In- 
 dians in one of their wigwams. Here he continued for 
 about one month, when he completed the small house 
 of which he now speaks. 
 
 Although he was much dejected during most of this 
 period, yet he had many intermissions of his melan- 
 choly, and some seasons of comfort, sweet tranquillity 
 and resignation of mind, and frequently special assist- 
 ance in public services, as appears in his diary. The 
 manner of his relief from his sorrow, once in particu- 
 lar, is worthy to be mentioned in his own words. 
 
 July 25. " Had little or no resolution for a life o 
 holiness; was ready almost to renounce my hope oi 
 living to God. And O how dark it looked, to think of 
 being unholy for ever ! This I could not endure. The 
 cry of my soul was, Psalm 65 : 3. " Iniquities prevail 
 against me." But I was in some measure relieved by 
 a comfortable meditation on God's eternity, that he 
 never had a beginning. Whence I was led to admire 
 his greatness and power, in such a manner, that I stood 
 still, and praised the Lord for his own glories and per- 
 fections : though I was (and if I should for ever be) 
 an unholy creature, my soul was comforted to appre- 
 hend an eternal, infinite, powerful, holy God."
 
 1743. J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 67 
 
 Jidy 30. "Just at night, moved into my own house^ 
 and lodged there that night ; found it much better 
 spending the time alone than in the wigwam where I 
 was before. 
 
 Lord's day, July 31. "Felt more comfortably than 
 some days past. Blessed be the Lord, who has now 
 given me a place of retirement. O that I mayjind God 
 in it, and that he would dwell with me for ever ! 
 
 Aug. 1. "Was still busy in further labors on my 
 house. Felt a little sweetness of religion, and thought 
 that it was worth while to follow after God through a 
 thousand snares, deserts, and death itself. O that I 
 might always follow after holiness, thai I may be fully 
 conformed to God ! Had some degree of sweetness in 
 secret prayer, though I had much sorrow. 
 
 Aug. 3. " Spent most of the day in writing. En- 
 joyed some sense of religion. Through divine good- 
 ness I am now uninterruptedly alone, and find my 
 retirement comfortable. I have enjoyed more sense of 
 divine things within a few days last past than for some 
 time before. I longed after holiness, humility, and 
 meekness: O that God would enable me to 'pass the 
 time of my sojourning here in his fear,' and always 
 live to him ! 
 
 Aug. 4. " Was enabled to pray much through the 
 whole day; and through divine goodness found some 
 intenseness of soul in the duty, as I used to do, and 
 some ability to persevere in my supplications. I had 
 some apprehensions of divine things, which afforded 
 me courage and resolution. It is good, I find, to per- 
 severe in attempts to pray, if I cannot pray with perse- 
 verance, i. e. continue long in my addresses to the 
 Divine Reing. I have generally found that the more 1 
 Jo in secret prayer, the more I have delighted to do,
 
 68 LIFE OF BRAINERD. I Chup V 
 
 and the more I have enjoyed a spirit of prayer ; and 
 frequently I have found the contrary, when by jour- 
 neying or otherwise I have been much deprived of re- 
 tirement. A seasonable, steady performance of SECRET 
 
 DUTIES IN THEIR PROPER HOURS, and a CAREFUL IMPROVE- 
 MENT OF ALL TIME, filling up every hour with some 
 profitable labor, either of heart, head, or hands, are ex- 
 cellent means of spiritual peace and boldness before 
 God. Filling up our time with and for God, is the way 
 to rise up and lie down in peace. 
 
 Aug. 13. " Was enabled in secret prayer to raise 
 my soul to God, with desire and delight. It was indeed 
 a blessed season. I found the comfort of being a 
 Christian ; and " counted the sufferings of the present 
 life not worthy to be compared with the glory " of divine 
 enjoyments even in this world. All my past sorrows 
 seemed kindly to disappear, and I " remembered no 
 more the sorrow, for joy." O, how kindly, and with 
 what a filial tenderness, the soul confides in " the Rock 
 of Ages," at such a season, that he will " never leave it 
 nor forsake it," that he will cause " all things to work 
 together for its good !" I longed that others should 
 know how good a God the Lord is. My soul was full 
 of tenderness and love, even to the most inveterate of 
 my enemies. I longed that they should share in the 
 same mercy; and loved that God should so do just as 
 he pleased with me and every thing else. I felt pecu- 
 liarly serious, calm, and peaceful, and encouragement 
 to press after holiness as long as I live, whatever diffi- 
 culties and trials may be in my way. May the Lord 
 always help me so to do ! Amen, and Amen. 
 
 Aug. 15. "Spent most of the day in labor, to pro- 
 cure something to keep my horse on in the winter. 
 Had not much spiritual enjoyment in the morning ;
 
 1743.] AT KAUNAUMEEK. 69 
 
 was very weak in body through the day; and thought 
 that this frail body would soon drop into the dust ; and 
 had some very realizing apprehensions of a speedy 
 entrance into another world. In this weak state of 
 body, I was not a little distressed for want of suitable 
 food. I had no bread, nor could I get any. I am forced 
 to go or send ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; 
 and sometimes it is mouldy and sour before I eat it, if 
 I get any considerable quantity. And then again 1 
 have none for some days together, for want of an op- 
 portunity to send for it, and cannot find my horse in the 
 woods to go myself; and this was my case now; but 
 through divine goodness I had some Indian meal, of 
 which I made cakes, and fried them. Yet I felt con- 
 tented with my circumstances, and sweetly resigned to 
 God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and blessed 
 God as much for my present circumstances as if I had 
 been a king; and thought that I found a disposition to 
 be contented in any circumstances. Blessed be God." 
 
 In his diary for Saturday, he says he was somewhat 
 melancholy and sorrowful in mind; and adds, "I 
 never feel comfortably, but when I find my soul going 
 forth after God. If I cannot be holy, I must necessa 
 rily be miserable for ever. 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 21. "Was much straitened in the 
 forenoon exercise ; my thoughts seemed to be all scat- 
 tered to the ends of the earth. At noon, I fell down be- 
 fore the Lord, groaned under my vileness, barrenness, 
 and deadness ; and felt as if I was guilty of soul mur- 
 der, in speaking to immortal souls in such a manner as 
 I had then done. In the afternoon God was pleased 
 to give me some assistance, and I was enabled to set 
 before my hearers the nature and necessity of true re- 
 pentance. Afterward had some sma.l degree of thank-
 
 70 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V 
 
 fulness. Was very ill and full of pain in the evening 
 and my soul mourned that I had spent so much time 
 to so little profit. 
 
 Aug. 23. "Studied in the forenoon, and enjoyed 
 some freedom. In the afternoon labored abroad : en- 
 deavored to pray, but found not much enjoyment or 
 intenseness of mind. Toward night was very weary, 
 and tired of this world of sorrow : the thoughts of 
 death and immortality appeared very desirable, and 
 even refreshed my soul. Those lines turned in my 
 mind with pleasure, 
 
 " Come death, shake hands ; I'll kiss thy bands ; 
 "'Tis happiness for me to die. 
 " What ! dost thou think that I will shrink? 
 " I'll go to immortality." 
 
 " In evening prayer, God was pleased to draw near my 
 soul, though very sinful and unworthy ; so that I was 
 enabled to wrestle with God, and to persevere in my 
 requests for grace. I poured out my soul for all the 
 world, friends and enemies. My soul was concerned, 
 not so much for souls as such, but rather for Christ's 
 kingdom, that it might appear in the world, that God 
 might be known to be God, in the whole earth. And 
 O my soul abhorred the very thought of a party in re 
 ligion! Let the truth of God appear, wherever it is; 
 and God have glory for ever. Amen. This was indeed 
 a comfortable season. I thought I had some foretaste 
 of the enjoyments and employments of the upper 
 world. O that my soul was more attempered to it ! 
 Aug. 31. [On a journey to New- York.] "Was in 
 a sweet, serious, and I hope, Christian frame. Eternal 
 things engrossed all my thoughts ; and I longed to be 
 in the world of spirits. O how happy is it to have
 
 1743.J AT KAUNADMEEK. 71 
 
 all our thoughts swallowed up in that world : to feel 
 one's self a stranger in this world, diligently seeking 
 a road through it, the best, the sure road to the hea- 
 venly Jerusalem !" 
 
 He went forward on his journey, and after tarrying 
 two or three days at New-York, set out from that city 
 toward New-Haven, intending to be there at the com- 
 mencement. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 11." [At Horse-Neck.] In the 
 afternoon I preached from Titus, 3:8. I think God 
 never helped me more in painting true religion, and 
 in detecting clearly, and tenderly discountenancing 
 false appearances of religion, wild fire, party zeal, spi- 
 ritual pride, &c. as well as a confident dogmatical spirit, 
 and its spring, viz. ignorance of the lieart. In the even- 
 ing took much pains in private conversation to sup- 
 press some confusions which I perceived were among 
 that people. 
 
 Sept. 13. " Rode to New-Haven. Was sometimes 
 dejected ; not in the sweetest frame. Lodged at ****, 
 Had some profitable Christian conversation. I find, 
 though my inward trials were great, and a life of soli- 
 tude gives them greater advantage to settle, and pene- 
 trate to the very inmost recesses of the soul ; yet it is 
 better to be alone than incumbered with noise and tu- 
 mult. I find it very difficult maintaining any sense of 
 divine things while removing from place to place di- 
 verted with new objects, and filled with care and busi- 
 ness. A settled steady business is best adapted to a life 
 of strict religion. 
 
 Sept. 14. " This day I ought to have taken my de- 
 gree ; but God sees fit to deny it me. And though I 
 was greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with per- 
 plexity and confusion, when I should see ray class-
 
 72 UFE OP BRAINERD, [Chap. V 
 
 mates take theirs ; yet, at the very lime, God enabled 
 me with calmness and resignation to say, " the will ol 
 the Lord be done." Indeed, through divine goodness, 
 I have scarcely felt my mind so calm, sedate, and com- 
 fortable for some time. I have long feared this season, 
 and expected my humility, meekness, patience and re- 
 signation would be much tried; but found much more 
 pleasure and divine comfort than I expected. Felt 
 spiritually serious, tender and affectionate in private 
 prayer with a dear Christian friend to-day. 
 
 Sept. 15. " Had some satisfaction in hearing the 
 ministers discourse. It is always a comfort to me to 
 hear religious and spiritual conversation. O that mi- 
 nisters and people were more spiritual and devoted to 
 God ! Toward night, with the advice of Christian 
 friends, I offered the following reflections in writing, 
 to the rector and trustees of the college which are foi 
 substance the same that I had freely offered to the 
 rector before, and intreated him to accept that if pos- 
 sible I might cut off all occasion of offence from those 
 who seek occasion. What I offered, is as follows : 
 
 " ' Whereas I have said before several persons, concern- 
 ing Mr. Whittelsey, one of the tutors of Yale College, that 1 
 did not believe he had any more grace than the chair I then 
 leaned upon ; I humbly confess, that herein 1 have sinned 
 against God, and acted contrary to the rules of his word, and 
 have injured Mr. Whittelsey. I had no right to make thus 
 free with his character ; and had no just reason to say as I did 
 concerning him. My fault herein was the more aggravated, 
 in that I said this concerning one who was so much my supe- 
 rior, and one whom I was obliged to treat with special respect 
 and honor, by reason of the relation I stood in to him in the 
 college. Such a manner of behavior I confess did not be- 
 come a Christian; it was taking too much upon me, and did 
 not savor of that humble respect which I ought to have ex-
 
 1743.J AT NEW-HAVEN. 73. 
 
 pressed toward Mr. Whittelsey. I have long since been con- 
 vinced of the falseness of those appreh-ensions, by which I 
 then justified such a conduct. I have often reflected on this 
 act with grief; I hope, on account of the sin of it: and am 
 willing to lie low, and be abased before God and man for it. 
 I humbly ask the forgiveness of the governors of the college 
 and of the whole society ; but of Mr. Whittelsey in particular. 
 And whereas 1 have been accused by one person of saying 
 concerning the reverend rector of Yale College, that I won- 
 dered he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the 
 scholars that followed Mr. Tennent to Milford ; I seriously 
 profess that I do not remember my saying any thing to this 
 purpose : but if I did, which I am not certain I did not, I 
 utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of behavior; and 
 especially in an under-graduate toward the rector. And I 
 now appear to judge and condemn myself for going once to 
 Hie separate meeting in New-Haven, a little before I was ex- 
 pelled, though the rector had refused to give me leave. For 
 this I humbly ask the rector's forgiveness. And whether the 
 governors of the college shall ever see cause to remove the 
 academical censure I lie under, or no, or to admit me to the 
 privileges I desire; yet I am willing to appear, if they think 
 fit, openly to own, and to humble myself for those things I 
 have herein confessed.' " 
 
 " God has made me willing to do any thing that I 
 can do consistently with truth, for the sake of peace, 
 and that I might not be a stumbling block to others. 
 For this reason I can cheerfully forego and give up 
 what I verily believe, after the most mature and im- 
 partial search, is my right, in some instances. God 
 has given me the disposition, that, if a man has done 
 me a hundred injuries, and I (though ever so much 
 provoked to it) have done him only one, I feel disposed 
 and heartily willing humbly to confess my fault to him, 
 and on my knees to ask forgiveness of him ; though at 
 the same time he should justify himself in all the in-
 
 74 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V 
 
 juries he has done me, and should only make use ol 
 my humble confession to blacken my character the 
 more, and represent me as the only person guilty ; yea, 
 though he should as it were insult me, and say, " he 
 knew all this before, and that I was making work for 
 repentance." Though what I said concerning Mr. 
 Whittelsey was only spoken in private, to a friend or 
 two ; and being partly overheard, was related to the 
 rector, and by him extorted from my friends ; yet, see- 
 ing it was divulged and made public, I was willing to 
 confess my fault therein publicly. But I trust God 
 will plead my cause." 
 
 I was witness to the very Christian spirit which 
 Brainerd showed at that time ; being then at New- 
 Haven, and one whom he thought fit to consult on 
 that occasion. This was my first opportunity of a per- 
 sonal acquaintance with him. There truly appeared 
 in him a great degree of calmness and humility, with- 
 out the least appearance of rising of spirit for any ill 
 treatment which he supposed he had suffered, or the 
 least backwardness to abase himself before them who, 
 as he thought, had wronged him. What he did was 
 without any objection or appearance of reluctance, 
 even in private to his friends, to whom he freely open- 
 ed himself. Earnest application was made on his be- 
 half to the authority of the college, that he might have 
 his degree then given him ; and particularly by the 
 Rev. Mr. Burr of Newark, one of the correspondents 
 of the society in Scotland ; he being sent from New- 
 Jersey to New-Haven, by the rest of the commissioners, 
 for that end ; and many arguments were used, but with- 
 out success. Indeed, the governors of the college were 
 so far satisfied with the reflections which Brainerd 
 had made on himself, that they appeared willing to
 
 1743.) AT BETHLEHEM. 75 
 
 admit him again into college ; but not to give him his 
 degree, till he should have remained there at least 
 twelve months, which being contrary to what the cor- 
 respondents, to whom he was now engaged, had de- 
 clared to be their mind, he did not consent to it. He 
 desired his degree, as he thought it would tend to his 
 being more extensively useful ; but still when he was 
 denied it, he manifested no disappointment or resent- 
 ment. 
 
 Sept. 20." [At Bethlehem.] Had thoughts of go- 
 ing forward on my journey to my Indians ; but toward 
 night was taken with a hard pain in my teeth, and 
 shivering cold ; and could not possibly recover a com- 
 fortable degree of warmth the whole night following 
 I continued very full of pain all night; and in the morn- 
 ing had a very hard fever, and pains almost over my 
 whole body. I had a sense of the divine goodness in 
 appointing this to be the place of my sickness, among 
 my friends, who were very kind to me. I should proba- 
 bly have perished if I had first got home to my own 
 house in the wilderness, where I have none to converse 
 with but the poor, rude, ignorant Indians. Here, I 
 saw, was mercy in the midst of affliction. I continued 
 thus, mostly confined to my bed, till Friday night ; 
 very full of pain most of the time ; but, through divine 
 goodness, not afraid of death. Then I saw the extreme 
 folly of those who put off their turning to God till a 
 sick bed. Surely this is not a time proper to prepare 
 for eternity. On Friday evening my pains went off 
 somewhat suddenly. I was exceedingly weak, and al- 
 most fainted ; but was very comfortable the night fol- 
 lowing. I thought we were to prize the continua- 
 tion of life, only on this account, that we may "show 
 forth God's goodness and works of grace."
 
 76 LIFE OF BKAINEHD 
 
 Oct. 4. " This day rode home to my own house and 
 people. The poor Indians appeared very glad of m> 
 return. Found my house and all things in safety, j 
 presently fell on my knees, and blessed God for my 
 safe return. I have taken many considerable jonrnies 
 since this time last year, and yet God has never suffered 
 one of my bones to be broken, or any distressing ca- 
 lamity to befal me, excepting the ill turn I had m my 
 last journey. I have been often exposed to cold and 
 hunger in the wilderness, where the comforts of life 
 were not to be had ; have frequently been lost in the 
 woods; and sometimes obliged to ride much of the 
 night ; and once lay out in the woods all night ; yet 
 blessed be God, he has preserved me ! 
 
 Nov. 3. " Spent this day in secret fasting and 
 prayer, from morning till night. Early in the morning 
 I had some small degree of assistance in prayer. Af- 
 terward read the story of Elijah the prophet, 1 Kings, 
 17th, 18th, and 19th chapters ; and also 2 Kings, 2d, 
 and 4th chapters. My soul was much moved, observ- 
 ing the faith, zeal, and power of that holy man ; 
 how he wrestled with God in prayer, &c. My soul 
 then cried with Elisha, "Where is the Lord God oi 
 Elijah !" O I longed for more faith ! My soul breathed 
 after God, and pleaded with him, that a " double por- 
 tion of that spirit" which was given to Elijah, might 
 " rest on me." And that which was divinely refresh- 
 ing and strengthening to my soul, was, I saw that God 
 is the same that he was in the days of Elijah. Was 
 enabled to wrestle with God by prayer, in a more af- 
 fectionate, fervent, humble, intense, and importunate 
 manner, than I have for many months past. Nothing 
 seemed too hard for God to perform ; nothing too 
 great for me to hope for from him. I had for many
 
 1743.| AT KAUNAUMEEK. 77 
 
 months entirely lost all hope of being made instru- 
 mental of doing any special service for God in the 
 world ; it has appeared entirely impossible, that one so 
 vile should be thus employed for God. But at this 
 time God was pleased to revive this hope. Afterward 
 read from the 3d chapter of Exodus to the 20th, 
 and saw more of the glory and majesty of God 
 discovered in those chapters than ever I had seen be- 
 fore ; frequently in the mean time falling on my knees 
 and crying to God for the faith of Moses, and for a 
 manifestation of the divine glory. Especially the 
 3d, 4th, and part of the 14thand 15th chapters were un- 
 speakably sweet to my soul : my soul blessed God that 
 he had shown himself so gracious to his servants of 
 old. The 15th chapter seemed to be the very language 
 which my soul uttered to God in the season of my first 
 spiritual comfort, when I had just got through the Red 
 <Sfea, by a way that I had no expectation of. O how 
 my soul then rejoiced in God! And now those things 
 came fresh and lively to my mind ; now my soul 
 blessed God afresh that he had opened that unthought 
 of way to deliver me from the fear of the Egyp- 
 tians, when I almost despaired of life. Afterward 
 read the story of Abraham's pilgrimage in the land of 
 Canaan. My soul was melted, in observing his faith, 
 how he leaned on God ; how he communed with God ; 
 and what a stranger he was here in the world. After 
 that, read the story of Joseph's sufferings, and God's 
 goodness to him : blessed God for these examples of 
 faith and patience. My soul was ardent in prayer, 
 was enabled to wrestle ardently for myself, for Chris- 
 tian friends, and for the church of God ; and felt more 
 desire to see the power of God in the conversion of 
 souls, than I have done for a long season. Blessed be
 
 78 LIFE OP BRAINERD. 
 
 God for this season of fasting and prayer ! May his 
 goodness always abide with me, and draw my soul 
 to him ! 
 
 Nov. 10. " Spent this day in fasting and prayer 
 alone. In the morning was very dull and lifeless, 
 melancholy and discouraged. But after some time, 
 while reading 2 Kings, 19, my soul was moved and 
 affected ; especially reading verse 14, and onward. I 
 saw there was no other way for the afflicted children 
 of God to take, but to go to God with all their sorrows. 
 Hezekiah, in his great distress, went and spread his 
 complaint before the Lord. I was then enabled to see 
 the mighty power of God, and my extreme need of 
 that power ; and to cry to him affectionately and ar- 
 dently for his power and grace to be exercised toward 
 me. Afterward, read the story of David's trials, and 
 observed the course he took under them, how he 
 strengthened his hands in God; whereby my soul was 
 carried out after God, enabled to cry to him, and rely 
 upon him, and felt strong in the Lord. Was afterward 
 refreshed, observing the blessed temper that was 
 wrought in David by his trials : all bitterness, and de- 
 sire of revenge, seemed wholly taken away ; so that 
 he mourned for the death of his enemies. 2 Sam. 1 : 
 17, and 4 : 9-12. Was enabled to bless God that lie 
 had given me something of this divine temper, that my 
 soul freely forgives, and heartily laces my enemies. 
 
 Nov. 29. " Began to study the Indian tongue, with 
 Mr. Sergeant, at Stockbridge.* Was perplexed for wanl 
 
 * The commissioners who employed him, had directed him to 
 spend much time this winter with Mr. Sergeant, to learn the 
 language of the Indians; which necessitated him very often to 
 ride backward and forward, twenty miles through the unin
 
 1744. J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 79 
 
 of more retirement. I love to live alone in my 
 own little cottage, where I can spend much time 
 in prayer, &c. 
 
 Dec. 22. " Spent this day alone in fasting and 
 prayer, and reading in God's word the exercises and 
 deliverances of his children. Had, I trust, some ex- 
 ercise of faith, and realizing apprehension of divine 
 power, grace, and holiness ; and also of the unchangea- 
 bleness of God, that he is the same as when he deli- 
 vered his saints of old out of great tribulation. My 
 soul was sundry times in prayer enlarged for God's 
 church and people. O that Zion might become the 
 "joy of the whole earth !" It is better to wait upon 
 God with patience, than to put confidence in any thing 
 in this lower world. " My soul, wait thou on the Lord ;" 
 for "from him comes thy salvation." 
 
 Lord's day, Jan. 1, 1744. " In the morning had 
 some small degree of assistance in prayer. Saw myself 
 so vile and unworthy that I could not look my people 
 in the face when I came to preach. O my meanness, 
 folly, ignorance, and inward pollution ! In the evening 
 had a little assistance in prayer, so that the duty was 
 delightful, rather than burdensome. Reflected on the 
 goodness of God to me in the past year, &c. Of a 
 truth God has been kind and gracious to me, though 
 he has caused me to pass through many sorrows; he 
 has provided for me bountifully, so that I have been 
 enabled, in about fifteen months past, to bestow to 
 charitable uses about an hundred pounds New-England 
 money, that I can now remember. Blessed be the Lord 
 
 habited woods between Stockbridge and Kaunaumeek ; which 
 many times exposed him to extreme hardship in the severe 
 seasons of the winter. 

 
 80 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Ch&p. V 
 
 that has so far used me as his steward, to distribute a 
 portion of his goods. May I always remember, that 
 all I have comes from God. Blessed be the Lord, that 
 has carried me through all the toils, fatigues and hard- 
 ships of the year past, as well as the spiritual sorrows 
 and conflicts that have attended it. O that I could 
 begin this year with God, and spend the whole of it to 
 his glory, either in life or death ! 
 
 Jan. 3. " Was employed much of the day in writ- 
 ing ; and spent some time in other necessary employ- 
 ment. But my time passes away so swiftly, that I am 
 astonished when I reflect on it, and see how little I do. 
 My state of solitude does not make the hours hang 
 heavy upon my hands. O what reason of thankful- 
 ness have I on account of this retirement ! I find that 
 I do not, and it seems I cannot, lead a Christian life 
 when I am abroad, and cannot spend time in devotion, 
 Christian conversation, and serious meditation, as I 
 should do. Those weeks that I am obliged now to be 
 from home, in order to learn the Indian tongue, are 
 mostly, spent in perplexity and barrenness, without 
 much sweet relish of divine things ; and I feel myself 
 a stranger at the throne of grace for want of more fre- 
 quent and continued retirement. When I return home 
 and give myself to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a 
 new scene opens to my mind, and my soul longs for 
 mortification, self-denial, humility, and divorcement 
 from all things of the world. This evening my heart was 
 somewhat warm and fervent in prayer and meditation, 
 so that I was loth to indulge sleep. Continued in 
 those duties till about midnight. 
 
 Jan. 6. " Feeling my extreme weakness, and want of 
 grace, the pollution of my soul, and danger of tempta- 
 tions on every side, I set apart this day for fasting and
 
 as 
 
 1744.J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 81 
 
 prayer, neither eating nor drinking from evening to 
 evening, beseeching God to have mercy on me. My 
 soul intensely longed that the dreadful spots and stains 
 of sin might be washed away from it. Saw something 
 of the power and all-sufficiency of God. My soul 
 seemed to rest on his power and grace ; longed for re- 
 signation to his will, and mortification to all things 
 here below. My mind was greatly fixed on divine 
 things : my resolutions for a life of mortification, con- 
 tinual watchfulness, self-denial, seriousness and devo- 
 tion, were strong and fixed ; my desires ardent and in- 
 tense ; my conscience tender, and afraid of every ap- 
 pearance of evil. My soul grieved with reflection on 
 past levity, and want of resolution for God. I solemn- 
 ly renewed my dedication of myself to God, and 
 longed for grace to enable me always to keep covenant 
 with him. Time appeared very short, eternity near 
 and a great name, either in or after life, together with 
 all earthly pleasures and profits, but an empty bubble, 
 a deluding dream. 
 
 Jan. 7. " Spent this day in seriousness, with stead- 
 fast resolutions for God, and a life of mortification. 
 Studied closely, till I felt my bodily strength fail. Felt 
 some degree of resignation to God, with an acquies- 
 cence in his dispensations. Was grieved that I could 
 do so little for God before my bodily strength failed. 
 In the evening, though tired, was enabled to continue 
 instant in prayer for some time. Spent the time in read- 
 ing, meditation, and prayer, till the evening was far 
 spent : was grieved to think that I could not watch un- 
 to prayer the whole night. But blessed be God, hea- 
 ven is a place of continual and incessant devotion 
 though the earth is dull. 
 
 Jan. 14, "This morning, enjoyed a most solemn 
 
 TVninerd. 6
 
 82 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. V. 
 
 season in prayer : my soul seemed enlarged and assist- 
 ed to pour out itself to God for grace, and for every 
 blessing I wanted for myself, for dear Christian friends, 
 and for the church of God; and was so enabled to 
 "see Him who is invisible," that my soul rested upon 
 him for the performance of every thing I asked agreea- 
 ble to his will. It was then my happiness to ' continue 
 instant in prayer,' and I was enabled to continue in it 
 for near an hour. My soul was then " strong in the 
 Lord, and in the power of his might." Longed exceed- 
 ingly for an angelic holiness and purity, and to have 
 all my thoughts, at all times, employed in divine and 
 heavenly things. Felt the same divine assistance in 
 prayer sundry times in the day. My soul confided in 
 God for myself, and for his Zion : trusted in divine 
 power and grace, that he would do glorious things in 
 his church on earth, for his own glory. 
 
 Feb. 3. " Enjoyed more freedom and comfort than 
 of late ; was engaged in meditation upon the different 
 whispers of the various powers and affections of a 
 pious mind, exercised with a great variety of dispen- 
 sations ; and could not but write, as well as meditate, 
 on so entertaining a subject. I hope the Lord gave me 
 some true sense of divine things this day ; but alas, 
 how great and pressing are the remains of indwelling 
 corruption ! I am now more sensible than ever, that 
 God alone is "the author and finisher of our faith," i. e. 
 that the whole and every part of sanctification, and 
 every good word, work, or thought, found in me, is the 
 effect of his power and grace ; that "without him I can 
 do nothing," in the strictest sense, and that, " he works 
 in us to will and to do of his own good pleasure," and 
 from no other motive. O how amazing it is that peo- 
 ple can talk so much about men's power and goodness >
 
 1744. J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 83 
 
 when if God did not hold us back every moment, we 
 should be devils incarnate ! This my bitter experience, 
 for several days last past, has abundantly taught me 
 concerning myself. 
 
 Feb. 7. " My soul felt and tasted that the Lord is 
 gracious ; that he is the supreme good, the only soul- 
 satisfying happiness ; that he is a complete, sufficient, 
 and almighty portion. The language of my heart was, 
 " Whom have I in heaven but thee ? and there is none 
 upon earth that I desire beside thee." O, I feel that 
 it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would 
 have me to be ! O that my soul were " holy, as he is 
 holy ! " O that it were " pure, even as Christ is pure ; " 
 and "perfect, as my Father in heaven is perfect!" 
 These I feel are the sweetest commands in God's book, 
 comprising all others. And shall I break them ! must 
 I break them ! am I under the necessity of it as long 
 as I live in the world ! O my soul, wo, wo is me, that I 
 am a sinner, who continually grieve and offend this 
 blessed God, infinite in goodness and grace ! O methinks 
 if he would punish me for my sins, it would not wound 
 my heart so deep to offend him ; but though I sin con- 
 tinually, yet he continually repeats his kindness to me ! 
 
 methinks I could bear any sufferings; but how can 
 
 1 bear to grieve and dishonor this blessed God ! How 
 shall I yield ten thousand times more honor to him? 
 What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of be- 
 ings ? O that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, 
 to his service for ever ! O that I could give up myself 
 to him, so as never more to attempt to be my own, or 
 to have any will or affections that are not perfectly con- 
 formed to him ! But, alas ! I find I cannot be thus en- 
 tirely devoted to God ; I cannot live, and not sin. O 
 ye angels, do ye glorify him incessantly ; and if possi-
 
 84 LJFE OP BRAINERD. | Chap. V 
 
 ble, prostrate yourselves lower before the blessed King 
 of heaven ! I long to bear a part with you ; and, if "it 
 were possible, to help you. O when we have done all 
 that we can, to all eternity, we shall not be able to offer 
 the ten thousandth part of the homage which the glo 
 rious God deserves ! 
 
 March 3. "In the morning, spent (I believe) an 
 hour in prayer, with great intenseness and freedom, 
 and with the most soft and tender affection toward all 
 mankind. I longed that those who, I have reason to 
 think, owe me ill will, might be eternally happy. It 
 seemed refreshing to think of meeting them in heaven, 
 how much soever they had injured me on earth : had 
 no disposition to insist upon any confession from thenij 
 in order to reconciliation, and the exercise of love and 
 kindness to them. O it is an emblem of heaven itself, 
 to love all the world with a love of kindness, forgive- 
 ness, and benevolence ; to feel our souls sedate, mild, 
 and meek ; to be void of all evil surmisings and sus- 
 picions, and scarce able to think evil of any man upon 
 any occasion ; to find our hearts simple, open, and free, 
 to those that look upon us with a different eye ! 
 Prayer was so sweet an exercise to me, that I knew 
 not how to cease, lest I should lose the spirit of prayer. 
 Felt no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the 
 pleasure of it, but only to support my nature, and fit 
 me for divine service. Could not be content without 
 a very particular mention of a great number of dear 
 friends at the throne of grace ; as also the particular 
 circumstances of many, as far as they were known. 
 
 March 10. " In the morning, felt exceeding dead tc 
 the world, and all its enjoyments. I thought I was 
 ready and willing to give up life and all its comforts, 
 as soon as called to it ; and yet then had as much com-
 
 1744. J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 85 
 
 fort of life as almost ever I had. I longed to be per- 
 petually and entirely crucified to all things here below, 
 by the cross of Christ. My soul was sweetly resigned 
 to God's disposal of me, in every regard ; and I saw 
 that nothing had happened but what was best for me. 
 I confided in God, that he would never leave me, 
 though I should " walk through the valley of the sha- 
 dow of death." It was then my meat and drink to be 
 holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the Lord. And I 
 thought that I then enjoyed such a heaven as far ex- 
 ceeded the most sublime conceptions of an unregene- 
 r ate soul ; and even unspeakably beyond what I my- 
 self could conceive of at another time. I did not won- 
 der that Peter said, " Lord, it is good to be here," when 
 thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was full 
 of love and tenderness in the duty of intercession ; 
 especially felt a most sweet affection to some precious 
 godly ministers, of my acquaintance. Prayed earnest- 
 ly for dear Christians, and for those I have reason to 
 fear are my enemies ; and could not have spoken a 
 word of bitterness, or entertained a bitter thought, 
 against the vilest man living. Had a sense of my own 
 great unworthiness. My soul seemed to breathe forth 
 love and praise to God afresh, when I thought he would 
 let his children love and receive me as one of their 
 brethren and fellow citizens. When I thought of their 
 treating me in that manner, I longed to lie at their feet; 
 and could think of no way to express the sincerity and 
 simplicity of my love and esteem of them, as being 
 much better than myself. 
 
 Lord's day, March 11. " My soul was in some mea- 
 sure strengthened in God, in morning devotion ; so that 
 I was released from trembling fear and distress. Preach- 
 ed to my people from the parable of the sower, Matt.
 
 86 LIFE OF BRAINERD. ' L Chap. V 
 
 13, and enjoyed some assistance both parts of the day, 
 had some freedom, affection, and fervency in address- 
 ing my poor people ; longed that God should take hold 
 of their hearts, and make them spiritually alive. And 
 indeed I had so much to say to them, that I knew not 
 how to leave off speaking." 
 
 This was the last Sabbath in which he ever per- 
 formed public service at Kaunaumeek, and these the 
 last sermons which he ever preached to the Indians 
 there. The methods he adopted for their salvation, he 
 thus describes in a letter to Rev. Mr. Pemberton of 
 New- York. 
 
 " In my labors with them, in order to " turn them 
 from darkness to light," I studied what was most plain 
 and easy, and best suited to their capacities ; and en- 
 deavored to set before them from time to time, as they 
 were able to receive them, the most important and ne- 
 cessary truths of Christianity ; such as most imme- 
 diately concerned their speedy conversion to God, and 
 such as I judged had the greatest tendency, as means, 
 to effect that glorious change in them. But especially 
 I made it the scope and drift of all my labors, to lead 
 them into a thorough acquaintance with these two 
 things : (1.) The sinfidness and misery of the estate 
 they were naturally in ; the evil of their hearts, the 
 pollution of their natures ; the heavy guilt they were 
 under, and their exposedness to everlasting punish- 
 ment; as also their utter inability to save themselves, 
 either from their sins, or from those miseries which 
 are the just punishment of them ; and their unworthi- 
 ness of any mercy at the hand of God, on account of 
 any thing they themselves could do to procure his 
 favor, and consequently their extreme need of Christ 
 to save them. And, (2.) I frequently endeavored to
 
 1744.] AT KAUNAUMEEK. 87 
 
 open to them the fullness, all-sufficiency, and freeness 
 of that redemption which the Son of God has wrought 
 out by his obedience and sufferings, for perishing sin- 
 ners : how this provision he had made was suited to 
 all their wants ; and how he called and invited them to 
 accept of everlasting life freely, notwithstanding all 
 their sinfulness. 
 
 " After I had been with the Indians several months, 
 I composed sundry forms of prayer, adapted to their 
 circumstances and capacities ; which, with the help of 
 my interpreter, I translated into the Indian language ; 
 and soon learned to pronounce their words, so as to 
 pray with them in their own tongue. I also translated 
 sundry psalms into their language, and soon after we 
 were able to sing in the worship of God. 
 
 " When my people had gained some acquaintance 
 with many of the simplest truths of Christianity, so 
 that they were capable of receiving and understanding 
 others, I gave them an historical account of God's 
 dealings with his ancient professing people, the Jews; 
 some of the rites and ceremonies they were obliged to 
 observe, as their sacrifices, &c. ; and what these were 
 designed to represent to them ; as also some of the sur- 
 prising miracles God wrought for their salvation, while 
 they trusted in him ; and sore punishments he some- 
 times brought upon them, when they forsook and sin- 
 ned against him. Afterward I proceeded to give them 
 a relation of the birth, life, miracles, sufferings, death, 
 and resurrection of Christ ; as well as his ascension, 
 and the wonderful effusion of the Holy Spirit conse- 
 quent thereupon. 
 
 " And having thus endeavored to prepare the way 
 by such a general account of things, I next proceeded 
 to read and expound to them the Gospel of St. Matthew
 
 88 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V 
 
 (at least the substance of it) in course, wherein they 
 had a more distinct and particular view of what they 
 had had before some general notion. These exposi- 
 tions I attended almost every evening, when there was 
 any considerable number of them at home ; except 
 when I was obliged to be absent myself, in order to 
 learn the Indian language with the Rev. Mr. Sargeant. 
 Besides these means of instruction, there was likewise 
 an English school constantly kept by my interpreter 
 among the Indians ; which I used frequently to visit, 
 in order to give the children and young people some 
 proper instructions, and serious exhortations suited to 
 their age. 
 
 " The degree of knowledge to which some of them 
 attained was considerable. Many of the truths of Chris- 
 tianity seemed fixed in their minds, especially in some 
 instances, so that they would speak to me of them, 
 and ask such questions about them as were necessary 
 to render them more plain and clear to their under- 
 standings. The children, also, and young people, who 
 attended the school, made considerable proficiency (at 
 least some of them) in their learning ; so that had they 
 understood the English language well, they would 
 have been able to read somewhat readily in a psalter. 
 
 " But that which was most of all desirable, and gave 
 me the greatest encouragement amidst many difficul- 
 ties and disconsolate hours, was, that the truths of 
 God's word seemed, at times, to be attended with some 
 power upon the hearts and consciences of the Indians 
 And especially this appeared evident in a few indivi- 
 duals, who were awakened to some sense of their mi- 
 serable estate by nature, and appeared solicitous for 
 deliverance from it. Several of them came, of their 
 own accord to discourse with me about their soul's
 
 1744.J AT KAUNAUMEEK. 89 
 
 concerns ; and some, with tears, inquired what they 
 should do to be saved ?" 
 
 The Indians at Kaunaumeek being but few in num- 
 ber and Brainerd having been laboring among them 
 about a year, and having prevailed upon them to be 
 willing to leave Kaunaumeek, and remove to Stock- 
 bridge, to live constantly under Mr. Sergeant's minis- 
 try; he thought he might now do more service for 
 Christ among the Indians elsewhere : and therefore 
 went to New-Jersey, and laid the matter before the 
 Commissioners ; who met at Elizabeth-Town, on the 
 occasion, and determined that he should forthwith 
 leave Kaunaumeek, and go to the Delaware Indians. 
 
 By the invitations which Brainerd had lately re- 
 ceived, it appears, that it was not from necessity, or 
 for want of opportunities to settle in the ministry, that 
 he determined to forsake all the outward comforts, 
 he might thus have enjoyed, to spend his life among 
 savages^ and endure the difficulties and self-denials of 
 an Indian mission. He had, just as he was leaving 
 Kaunaumeek, had an earnest invitation to a settlement 
 at East-Hampton, one of the pleasantest towns on 
 Long-Island. The people there were unanimous in 
 their desires to have him for their pastor, and for a 
 long time continued in earnest pursuit of him, and 
 were hardly brought to relinquish their endeavors, and 
 give up their hopes of obtaining him. Besides this, he 
 had an invitation to preach with reference to a settle- 
 ment in Millington, near his native town, and in the 
 midst of his friends. Nor did Brainerd choose the bu- 
 siness of a missionary to the Indians, rather than ac- 
 cept of those invitations, because he was unacquainted 
 with the difficulties and sufferings which attended such 
 a service; for he had had experience of these difficul-
 
 00 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. V 
 
 ties in summer and winter ; having spent about a year 
 in a lonely desert among these savages, where he had 
 gone through extreme hardships, and been the subject 
 of a train of outward and inward sorrows, which were 
 now fresh in his mind. 
 
 After this he continued two or three days in New- 
 Jersey, very ill ; and then returned to New-York ; and 
 from thence into New-England ; and went to his native 
 town of Haddam, where he arrived on Saturday, April 
 14. And he continues still his bitter complaints of want 
 of retirement. While he was in New- York, he says 
 thus, " O it is not the pleasures of the world which can 
 comfort me ! If God deny his presence, what are the 
 pleasures of the city to me ? One hour of sweet re- 
 tirement where God is, is better than the whole world." 
 
 April 17. "In the evening, at my brother's, singing 
 hymns with friends, my soul seemed to melt ; and in 
 prayer afterward, enjoyed the exercise of faith, and 
 was enabled to be fervent in spirit : found more oi 
 God's presence than I have done any time in my late 
 wearisome journey. Eternity appeared very near ; 
 my nature was very weak, and seemed ready to be dis- 
 solved ; the sun declining, and the shadows of the 
 evening drawing on apace. O I longed to fill up the 
 remaining moments all for God ! Though my body 
 was so feeble, and wearied with preaching and much 
 private conversation, yet I wanted to sit up all night to 
 do something for God. To God, the giver of these 
 refreshments, be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 
 
 April 18. " Was very weak, and enjoyed but little 
 spiritual comfort. Was exercised with one who ca- 
 villed against original sin. May the Lord open his 
 eyes to see the fountain of sin in himself !" 
 
 After this he visited several ministers in Connect i-
 
 1744.J AT KAUNADMEEK. 91 
 
 cut; and then travelled towards Kaunaumeek, and 
 came to Mr. Sergeant's, at Stockbridge, Thursday, 
 April 26, having performed the journey in a very weak 
 state of body. 
 
 April 27 and 28. " Spent some time in visiting, 
 friends, and discoursing with my people, (who were 
 now moved down from their own place to Mr. Ser- 
 geant's) and found them very glad to see me returned. 
 Was exercised in my mind with a sense of my own 
 unworthiness. 
 
 Lord's day, April 29. " Preached for Mr. Ser- 
 geant both parts of the day, from Rev. 14 : 4. Enjoyed 
 some freedom in preaching, though not much spiri- 
 tuality. In the evening, my heart was in some mea- 
 sure lifted up in thankfulness to God for any assist- 
 ance. 
 
 April 30. " Rode to Kaunaumeek, but was ex- 
 tremely ill ; did not enjoy the comfort I hoped for in 
 my own house. 
 
 May 1. " Having received new orders to go to a 
 number of Indians on Delaware river, in Pennsylva- 
 nia, and my people here being mostly removed to Mr. 
 Sergeant's, I this day took all my clothes, books, &c. 
 and disposed of them, and set out for Delaware river ; 
 but made it my way to return to Mr. Sergeant's, which 
 I did this day, just at night. Rode several hours in 
 the rain through the howling wilderness,'although I 
 was so disordered in body, that little or nothing but 
 blood came from me. 
 
 May 8. " Travelled about forty-five miles to a place 
 ca-lled Fishkill ; and lodged there. Spent much of my 
 time, while riding, in prayer that God would go \vith 
 me to the Delaware. My heart sometimes was ready 
 to sink with the thoughts of my work, and going alone
 
 92 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V 
 
 in the wilderness, I knew not where ; but still it was 
 comfortable to think that others of God's children had 
 ' wandered about in dens and caves of the earth ;' and 
 Abraham, when he was called to go forth, .' went out 
 not knowing whither he went.' O that I might follow 
 *after God !" 
 
 The next day he went forward on his journey; 
 crossed the Hudson, and went to Goshen in the High- 
 lands ; and so traveled across the woods, from the 
 Hudson to the Delaware, about a hundred miles, 
 through a desolate and hideous country, above New- 
 Jersey, where were very few settlements ; in which 
 journey he suffered much fatigue and hardship. He 
 visited some Indians in the way, at a place called Miu- 
 nissinks, and discoursed with them concerning Chris- 
 tianity. Was considerably melancholy and disconso- 
 late, being alone in a strange wilderness. On Satur- 
 day, May 12, he came to a settlement of Irish and 
 Dutch people, and proceeding about twelve miles fur- 
 ther arrived at Sakhauwotung, an Indian settlement 
 within the Forks of the Delaware. 
 
 Lord's day, May 13. " Rose early ; felt very poorly 
 after my long journey, and after being wet and fa- 
 tigued. Was very melancholy; have scarcely ever 
 seen such a gloomy morning in my life ; there ap- 
 peared to be no Sabbath; the children were all at play; 
 I, a stranger in the wilderness, and knew not where to 
 go ; and all circumstances seemed to conspire to ren- 
 der my affairs dark and discouraging. Was disap- 
 pointed respecting an Interpreter, and heard that the 
 Indians were much scattered. O, I mourned after the 
 presence of God, and seemed like a creature banished 
 from his sight ! yet he was pleased to support my sink- 
 ing soul amidst all my sorrows ; so that I never enter-
 
 1744.] AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 93 
 
 tained any thought of quitting my business among the 
 poor Indians ; but was comforted to think that death 
 would ere long set me free from these distresses. 
 Rode about three or four miles to the Irish people, 
 where I found some that appeared sober and con- 
 cerned about religion. My heart then began to be a 
 little encouraged : went and preached first to the Irish 
 and then to the Indians ; and in the evening was a 
 little comforted : my soul seemed to rest on God, and 
 take courage. 
 
 Lord's day, May 20. " Preached twice to the poor 
 Indians ; and enjoyed some freedom in speaking, while 
 I attempted to remove their prejudices against Chris- 
 tianity. My soul longed continually for assistance 
 from above ; for I saw I had no strength sufficient for 
 that work. Afterward preached to the Irish people ; 
 was much assisted in the first prayer, and somewhat 
 in the sermon. Several persons seemed much con- 
 cerned for their souls, with whom I discoursed after- 
 ward with much freedom and some power. Blessed 
 be God for any assistance afforded to an unworthy 
 worm. O that I could live to him ! 
 
 Lord's day, May 27. " Visited my Indians in the 
 morning, and attended upon a funeral among them ; 
 was affected to see their heathenish practices. O that 
 they might be ' turned from darkness to light !' After- 
 ward got a considerable number of them together, and 
 preached to them ; and observed them very attentive. 
 After this preached to the white people from Heb. 
 2:3. ' How shall we escape if we neglect so great 
 salvation ?' Was enabled to speak with some freedom 
 and power : several people seemed much concerned 
 for their souls ; especially one who had been educated 
 a Roman Catholic. Blessed be the Lord for any help.
 
 94 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [:3iap. V 
 
 May 28. "Set out from the Indians above theForks 
 of the Delaware, on a journey toward Newark, in 
 New- Jersey, according to my orders. Rode through 
 the wilderness ; was much fatigued with the heat ; 
 lodged at a place called Black River ; was exceed- 
 ingly tired and worn out. 
 
 Lord's day, June 10. " [At Newark.] In the morn- 
 ing was much concerned how I should perform the 
 work of the day : and trembled at the thoughts of be- 
 ing left to myself. Enjoyed very considerable assist- 
 ance in all parts of the public service. Had an oppor- 
 tunity again to attend on the ordinance of the Lord's 
 Supper, and through divine goodness was refreshed in 
 it : my soul was full of love and tenderness toward the 
 children of God, and toward all men. At night I 
 enjoyed more spirituality and sweet desire of holiness, 
 than I have felt for some time : was afraid of every 
 thought and every motion, lest thereby my heart 
 should be drawn away from God. O that I might 
 never leave the blessed God ! ' Lord, in thy presence 
 is fulness of joy.' O the blessedness of living to God I 
 
 June 11. " This day the Presbytery met at New*- 
 ark, in order to my ordination. Was very weak and 
 disordered in body ; yet endeavored to repose my con- 
 fidence in God. Spent most of the day alone ; espe- 
 cially the forenoon. At three in the afternoon preached 
 my probation sermon from Acts, 26 : 17, 18, being a 
 text given me for that purpose. Felt not well either 
 in body or mind : however, God carried me through 
 comfortably. Afterward passed an examination before 
 the Presbytery. Was much tired, and my mind bur- 
 dened with the greatness of that charge I was in the 
 most solemn manner about to take upon me : my mind 
 was so pressed with the weight of the work incum-
 
 1744.] AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 95 
 
 bent upon me, that I could not sleep this night, though 
 very weary and in great need of rest. 
 
 June 12. " Was this morning further examined 
 respecting my experimental acquaintance with Chris- 
 tianity. At 10 o'clock my ordination was attended ; 
 the sermon preached by the Rev. Mr. Pemberton. At 
 this time I was affected with a sense of the important 
 trust committed to me ; yet Was composed and solemn 
 without distraction ; and I hope that then, as many 
 times before, I gave myself up to God, to be for him, 
 and not M: another. O that I might always be en- 
 gaged in the service of God, and duly remember the 
 solemn charge I have received in the presence of God, 
 angels, and men. Amen." 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Labors for the Indians at and near the Forks of Delaware idola- 
 trous feast and dance journey through the wilderness to Ope- 
 holhaupung or the Susquehanna erects a cottage atForks of the 
 Delaware some evidences of a work of the Spirit among the 
 Indians journey to New-England to obtain money to support 
 a colleague visit to the Indians on the Susquehanna journey 
 to Crossiveeksung in New -Jersey. 
 
 June 13, 1744 June 18, 1745. 
 
 June 13, 1744. [At Elizabeth Town.]" Spent con- 
 siderable time in writing an account of the Indian af- 
 fairs, to be sent to Scotland ; some, in conversation with 
 friends ; but had not much spiritual enjoyment." 
 
 On Tuesday, June 19, he set out on his journey, 
 and in three days reached his residence near the Forks 
 of Delaware. Performed the journey under much
 
 96 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI. 
 
 weakness of body, but had comfort in his soul, from 
 day to day. 
 
 Lord's day, June 24. " Extremely feeble ; scarcely 
 able to walk : however visited my Indians, and took 
 much pains to instruct them ; labored with some that 
 were much disaffected toward Christianity. My mind 
 was much burdened with the weight and difficulty of 
 my work. My whole dependence and hope of suc- 
 cess seemed to be on God ; who alone I saw could 
 make them willing to receive instruction. My heart 
 was much engaged in prayer, sending up silent re- 
 quests to God, even while I was speaking to them. O 
 that I could always go in the strength of the Lord ! 
 
 June 25. " Was somewhat better in health than of 
 late ; and was able to spend a considerable part of the 
 day in prayer and close study. Had more freedom 
 and fervency in prayer than usual of late ; especially 
 longed for the presence of God in my work, and that 
 the poor Heathen might be converted. And in evening 
 prayer my faith and hope in God were much raised. 
 To an eye of reason every thing that respects the con- 
 version of the Heathen is as dark as midnight ; and yet 
 I cannot but hope in God for the accomplishment of 
 something glorious among them. My soul longed 
 much for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom 
 on earth. Was very fearful lest I should admit some 
 vain thought, and so lose the sense I then had of divine 
 things. O for an abiding heavenly temper ! 
 
 June 26. " In the morning, my desires seemed to 
 rise, and ascend up freely to God. Was busy most of 
 the day in translating prayers into the language of the 
 Delaware Indians ; met with great difficulty, because 
 my interpreter was altogether unacquainted with the 
 business. But though I was much discouraged with
 
 1744. | AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 97 
 
 the extreme difficulty of that work, yet God supported 
 me ; and especially in the evening, gave me sweet re- 
 freshment. In prayer my soul was enlarged, and my 
 faith drawn into sensible exercise ; was enabled to cry 
 to God for my poor Indians ; and though the work of 
 their conversion appeared impossible with man, y et with 
 God I saw all things were possible. My faith was much 
 strengthened, by observing the wonderful assistance 
 God afforded his servants Nehemiah and Ezra, in re- 
 forming his people and re-establishing his ancient 
 church. I was much assisted in prayer for my dear 
 Christian friends, and for others whom I apprehended 
 to be Christless; but was more especially concerned 
 for the poor heathen, and those of my own charge ; 
 was enabled to be instant in prayer for them ; and 
 hoped that God would bow the heavens and come down 
 for their salvation. It seemed to me that there could 
 be no impediment sufficient to obstruct that glorious 
 work, seeing the living God, as I strongly hoped, was 
 engaged for it. I continued in a solemn frame, lifting 
 up my heart to God for assistance and grace, that I 
 might be more mortified to this present world, that my 
 whole soul might be taken up continually in concern 
 for the advancement of Christ's kingdom. Earnestly 
 desired that God would purge me more, that I might 
 be as a chosen vessel to bear his name among the 
 Heathen. 
 
 June 28. "Spent the morning in reading several 
 parts of the holy scripture, and in fervent prayer for 
 my Indians, chat God would set up his kingdom among 
 them, and bring them into his church. About nine 1 
 withdrew to my usual place of retirement in the woods, 
 and there again enjoyed some assistance in prayer. 
 My great, concern was for the conversion of the hea- 
 
 Brainerd. 7
 
 98 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI. 
 
 then to God ; and the Lord helped me to plead with 
 him for it. Toward noon rode up to the Indians in 
 order to preach to them ; and while going my heart 
 went up to God in prayer for them ; could freely tell 
 God he knew that the cause in which I was engaged 
 was not mine ; but that it was his own cause, and that 
 it would be for his own glory to convert the poor In- 
 dians : and blessed be God I felt no desire of their 
 conversion that f might receive honor from the world 
 as being the instrument of it. Had some freedom in 
 speaking to the Indians. 
 
 June 30. " My soul was very solemn in reading 
 God's word, especially the ninth chapter of Daniel. I 
 saw how God had called out his servants to prayer, 
 and made them wrestle with him, when he designed 
 to bestow any great mercy on his church. And, alas! 
 I was ashamed of myself to think of myduHness and 
 inactivity when there seemed to be so much to do for 
 the upbuilding of Zion. O how does Zion he waste ! 
 I longed that the church of God might be enlarged ; 
 was enabled to pray, I think, in faith ; my soul seemed 
 sensibly to confide in God, and was enabled to wrestle 
 with him. Afterward walked abroad to a place of 
 sweet retirement ; enjoyed some assistance in prayer, 
 had a sense of my great need of divine help, and felt 
 my soul sensibly depend on God. Blessed be God, 
 this has been a comfortable week to me. 
 
 Lord's day, July 1. " After I came to them my 
 mind was confused, and I felt nothing sensibly of that 
 sweet reliance on God with which my soul has been 
 comforted in days past. Spent the forenoon in this 
 posture of mind, and preached to the Indians without 
 any heart. In the afternoon I felt still barren when I 
 began to preach, and for about half an hour: I seemed
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 99 
 
 to myself to know nothing, and to have nothing to 
 say to the Indians ; but soon after I found in myself a 
 spirit of love, and warmth, and power, to address the 
 poor Indians, and God helped me to plead with them, 
 to ' turn from all the vanities of the heathen to the 
 living God ;' I am persuaded that the Lord touched 
 their consciences; for I never saw such attention 
 raised in them. When I came away from them, I 
 spent the whole time I was riding to my lodgings, 
 three miles distant, in prayer and praise to God. After 
 I had rode more than two miles it came into my mind 
 to dedicate myself to God again, which I did with 
 great solemnity and unspeakable satisfaction ; espe- 
 cially gave up myself to him renewedly in the work 
 of the ministry. This I did by divine grace, I hope, 
 without any exception or reserve; not in the least 
 shrinking back from any difficulties that might attend 
 this great and blessed work. I seemed to be most free, 
 cheerful, and full in this dedication of myself. My 
 whole soul cried, ' Lord, to thee I dedicate myself ! O 
 accept of me, and let me be thine for ever. Lord, I 
 desire nothing else ; I desire nothing more. O come, 
 co:ne, Lord, accept a poor worm. My heart rejoiced 
 in my particular work as a missionamj ; rejoiced in my 
 necessity of self-denial in many respects, and I still 
 continued to give up myself to God, and to implore 
 mercy of him, praying incessantly every moment with 
 sweet fervency. My nature being very weak of late, 
 and much spent, was now considerably overcome : my 
 fingers grew very feeble, and somewhat numb, so that 
 I could scarcely stretch them out straight, and when I 
 lighted from my horse could hardly walk ; my joints 
 seemed all to be loosed. But I felt abundant strength 
 in the inner man. Preached to the white people ; God
 
 100 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 helped me much, especially in prayer. Sundry of my 
 poor Indians were so moved as to come to meeting 
 also, and one appeared much concerned. 
 
 July 3. " Was still very weak. This morning was 
 enabled to pray under a feeling sense of my need of 
 help from God, and I trust had some faith in exercise ; 
 and, blessed be God, was enabled to plead with him a 
 considerable time. Truly God is good to me. But 
 my soul mourned, and was grieved at my sinfulness 
 and barrenness, and longed to be more engaged for 
 God. Near nine, withdrew again for prayer, and 
 through divine goodness had the blessed spirit oi 
 prayer ; my soul loved the duty, and longed for God 
 in it. O it is sweet to be (he Lords, to be sensibly de- 
 voted to him! What a blessed portion is God! How 
 glorious, how lovely in himself! O my soul longed to 
 improve time wholly for God ! Spent most of the day 
 in translating prayers into Indian. In the evening 
 was enabled again to wrestle with God in prayer with 
 fervency. Was enabled to maintain a self-diffident 
 and watchful frame of spirit, and was jealous, and 
 afraid lest I should admit carelessness and self-con- 
 fidence. 
 
 July 6. " Awoke this morning in the fear of God, 
 and spent my first waking minutes in prayer for sanc- 
 tification, that my soul may be washed from its ex- 
 ceeding pollution and defilement. After I arose I spent 
 some time in reading God's word, and in prayer. I 
 cried to God under a sense of my great indigence. I 
 am of late most of all concerned for ministerial quali- 
 fications, and the conversion of the heathen. Last 
 year I longed to be prepared for a world of glory, and 
 speedily to depart out of this world ; but of late all my 
 concern almost is for the conversion of the heathen, 
 
 fc*'
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 101 
 
 and for that end I long to live. But blessed be God I 
 have less desire to live for any of the pleasures of the 
 world than I ever had. I long and love to be a pil- 
 grim, and want grace to imitate the life, labors and 
 sufferings of St. Paul among the heathen. And when 
 I long for holiness now, it is not so much for myself 
 as formerly, but rather thereby I may become an 'able 
 minister of the New Testament,' especially to the 
 heathen. 
 
 July 7. " Was very much disordered this morning, 
 and my vigor all spent and exhausted ; but was affect- 
 ed and refreshed in reading the sweet story of Elijah's 
 translation, and enjoyed some affection and fervency in 
 prayer ; longed much for ministerial gifts and graces, 
 that I might do something in the cause of God. After- 
 ward was refreshed and invigorated while reading 
 ALLEINE'S first Case of Conscience, &c. was enabled 
 then to pray with some ardor of soul was afraid of 
 carelessness and self-confidence, and longed for ho- 
 liness. 
 
 Lord's day, July 8. " Was ill last night not able 
 to rest quietly. Had some small degree of assistance 
 in preaching to the Indians, and afterward was enabled 
 to preach to the white people with some power, espe- 
 cially in the close of my discourse, from Jer. 3 : 23. 
 ' Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills,' 
 &c. The Lord also assisted me in some measure in 
 the first prayer; blessed be his name. Near night, 
 though very weary, was enabled to read God's word 
 with some sweet relish of it, and to pray with affec- 
 tion, fervency, and I trust with faith ; my soul was 
 more sensibly dependant on God than usual. Was 
 watchful, tender, and jealous of my own heart, lest I 
 should admit carelessness and vain thoughts, and
 
 102 LIKE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 grieve the blessed Spirit, so that he should withdraw 
 his sweet, kind, and tender influences. Longed to 
 ' depart, and be with Christ,' more than at any lime 
 of late. My soul was exceedingly united to the saints 
 of ancient times, as well as those now living ; espe- 
 cially my soul melted for the society of Elijah and 
 Elisha. Was enabled to cry to God with a child-like 
 spirit, and to continue instant in prayer for some time. 
 Was much enlarged in the sweet duty of interces- 
 sion ; was enabled to remember great numbers of dear 
 friends, and precious souls, as well as Christ's minis- 
 ters. Continued in this frame, afraid of every idle 
 thought, till I dropped asleep. 
 
 July 21. " This morning 1 was greatly oppressed 
 with guilt and shame from 1 a sense of inward vileness 
 and pollution. About nine withdrew to the woods for 
 prayer, but had not much comfort; I appeared to 
 myself the vilest, meanest creature upon earth, and 
 could scarcely live with myself; so mean and vile I 
 appeared, that I thought I should never be able to hold 
 up my face in heaven, if God, of his infinite grace> 
 should bring me thither. Toward night my burden 
 respecting my work among the Indians began to in- 
 crease much, and was aggravated by hearing sundry 
 things which looked very discouraging, in particular 
 that they intended to meet together the next day for 
 an idolatrous feast and dance. Then I began to be in 
 anguish ; I thought that I must in conscience go and 
 endeavor to break them up, yet knew not how to 
 attempt such a thing. However, I withdrew for prayer, 
 hoping for strength from above. In prayer I was ex- 
 ceedingly enlarged, and my soul was as much drawn 
 out as I ever remember it to have been in my life. I 
 was in such anguish, and pleaded with such earnest'
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 103 
 
 ness and importunity, that when I rose from my knees 
 I felt extremely weak and overcome ; I could scarcely 
 walk straight ; my joints were loosed ; the sweat ran 
 down my face and body, and nature seemed as if it 
 would dissolve. So far as I could judge, I was wholly 
 free from selfish ends in my fervent supplications for 
 the poor Indians. I knew that they were met together 
 to worship devils, and not God; and this made me 
 cry earnestly that God would now appear and help me 
 in my attempts to break up this idolatrous meeting. 
 My soul pleaded long, and I thought that God would 
 hear, and would go with me to vindicate his own 
 cause : I seemed to confide in God for his presence 
 and assistance. And thus I spent the evening, praying 
 incessantly for divine assistance, and that I might not 
 be self-dependent, but still have my whole dependance 
 upon God. What I passed through was remarkable, 
 and indeed inexpressible. All things here below van- 
 ished, and tkere appeared to be nothing of any con- 
 siderable importance to me, but holiness of heart and 
 life, and the conversion of the heathen to God. All 
 my cares, fears and desires, which might be said to be 
 of a worldly nature, disappeared, and were, in my 
 esteem, of little more importance than a puff of wind. 
 I exceedingly longed that God would get to himself a 
 name among the heathen ; and I appealed to him with 
 the greatest freedom, that he knew I ' preferred him 
 above my chief joy.' Indeed, I had no notion of joy 
 from this world ; I cared not where or how I lived, or 
 what hardships I went through, so that I could but 
 gain souls to Christ. I continued in this frame all the 
 evening and night. While I was asleep I dreamed of 
 these things; and when I waked, (as I frequently did,) 
 the first thing I thought of was this great work of 
 pleading for God against Satan.
 
 104 LIFE OF BRA1NERD [Chap. VI. 
 
 Lord's day. Jidy 22. " When I waked my soul was 
 burdened with what seemed to be before me. I cried 
 to God, before I could get out of my bed ; and as soon 
 as I was dressed I withdrew into the woods, to pour 
 out my burdened soul to God, especially for assistance 
 in my great work ; for I could scarcely think of any 
 thing else. I enjoyed the same freedom and fervency 
 as the last evening ; and did with unspeakable freedom 
 give up myself afresh to God, for life or death, for all 
 hardships to which 'he should call me, among the 
 heathen ; and felt as if nothing could discourage me 
 from this blessed work. I had a strong hope that God 
 would ' bow the heavens and come down,' and do 
 some marvellous work among the heathen. "While I 
 was riding to the Indians, three miles, my heart was 
 continually going up to God for his presence and as- 
 sistance ; and hoping, and almost expecting, that God 
 would make this the day of his power and grace 
 amongst the poor Indians. When I came to them, I 
 found them engaged in their frolic ; but through divine 
 goodness I persuaded them to desist and attend to my 
 preaching : yet still there appeared nothing of the 
 special power of God among them. Preached again 
 to them in the afternoon, and observed the Indians 
 were more sober than before; but still saw nothing 
 special among them. Hence satan took occasion to 
 tempt and buffet me with these cursed suggestions, 
 There is no God, or if there be, he is not able to con- 
 vert the Indians, before they have more knowledge, 
 &c. I was very weak and weary, and my soul borne 
 down with perplexity; but was mortified to all the 
 world, and was determined still to wait upon God for 
 the conversion of the heathen, though the devil tempt- 
 ed me to the contrary.
 
 1744.J AT FOHKS OF DELAWARE. 105 
 
 July 24. " Rode about seventeen miles westward, 
 over a hideous mountain, to a number of Indians. Got 
 together near thirty of them : preached to them in the 
 evening, and lodged among them. Was weak, and 
 felt in some degree disconsolate ; yet could have no 
 freedom in the thought of any other circumstances or 
 business in life. All my desire was the conversion of 
 the heathen ; and all my hope was in God. God does 
 not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes 
 of seeing friends, returning to my dear acquaintance, 
 and enjoying worldly comforts. 
 
 Lord's day, August 5. " Though very weak, I vi- 
 sited and preached to the poor Indians twice, and was 
 strengthened vastly beyond my expectations. Indeed 
 the Lord gave me some freedom and fervency in ad- 
 dressing them ; though I had not strength enough to 
 stand, but was obliged to sit down the whole time. 
 Toward night was extremely weak, faint, sick, and full 
 of pain. I seem to 'myself like a man that has all his 
 estate embarked in one small boat, unhappily going 
 adrift down a swift torrent. The poor owner stands 
 on the shore, and looks, and laments his loss. But, 
 alas ! though my all seems to be adrift, and I stand and 
 see it, I dare not lament ; for this sinks my spirits 
 more, and aggravates my bodily disorders ! I am 
 forced, therefore, to divert myself with trifles ; al- 
 though at the same time I am afraid, and often feel as 
 if I was guilty of the misimprovement of time. And 
 oftentimes my conscience is so exercised with this mi- 
 serable way of spending time, that I have no peace ; 
 though I have no strength of mind or body to improve 
 it to better purpose. O that God would pity my dis- 
 tressed state !" 
 
 The next three weeks his illness was less severe ;
 
 106 LIFE OF BRAINEKD. [Chap. VI. 
 
 and he was in some degree capable of business, both 
 public and private, though he had some turns wherein 
 his indisposition prevailed to a great degree. He had 
 generally also much more inward assistance and 
 strength of mind. He often expresses great longings 
 for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, especially 
 by the conversion of the heathen to God ; and speaks 
 of this hope as all his delight and joy. He continues 
 still to express his usual desires after holiness, living 
 to God, and a sense of his own unworthiness. He 
 several times speaks of his appearing to himself the 
 vilest creature on earth ; and once says, that he verily 
 thought there were none of God's children who fell 
 so far short of that holiness, and perfection in their 
 obedience, which God requires, as he. He speaks of 
 his feeling more dead than ever to the enjoyments of 
 the world. He sometimes mentions the special assist- 
 ance which he had at this time, in preaching to the 
 Indians, and the appearances of religious concern 
 among them. He speaks also of assistance in prayer 
 for absent friends, and especially ministers and can- 
 didates for the ministry ; and of much comfort which 
 he enjoyed in the company of some ministers who 
 came to visit him. 
 
 Sept. 1. " Was so far strengthened, after a season 
 of great weakness, that I was able to spend two or 
 three hours in writing on a divine subject. Enjoyed 
 some comfort and sweetness in things divine and sa- 
 cred ; and as my bodily strength was in some measure 
 restored, so my soul seemed to be somewhat vigorous, 
 and engaged in the things of God. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 2. " Was enabled to speak to my 
 poor Indians with much concern and fervency ; and 1 
 am persuaded that God enabled me to exercise faith in
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 107 
 
 him. while I was speaking to them. I perceived that 
 some of them were afraid to hearken to and embrace 
 Christianity, lest they should be enchanted and poi- 
 soned by some of the powaws : but I was enabled to 
 plead with them not to fear these ; and, confiding in 
 God for safety and deliverance, I bid a challenge to all 
 these powers of darkness, to do their worst on me first. 
 I told my people that I was a Christian, and asked 
 them why the powaws did not bewitch and poison me. 
 I scarcely ever felt more sensible of my own unwor- 
 thmess, than in this action. I saw that the honor of 
 God was concerned ; and desired to be preserved not 
 from selfish views but for a testimony of the divine 
 power and goodness, and of the truth of Christianity, 
 and that God might be glorified. Afterward, I found 
 my soul rejoice in God for his assisting grace." 
 
 After this, he went a journey into New-England, and 
 was absent from the place of his abode, at the Forks 
 of Delaware, about three weeks. He was in a feeble 
 state the greater part of the time. But in the latter 
 of the journey he found that he gained much in health 
 and strength. 
 
 Sept. 26. " Rode home to the Forks of Delaware. 
 What reason have I to bless God, who has preserved 
 me in riding more than four hundred and twenty 
 miles, and has ' kept all my bones, that not one of 
 them has been broken !' My health likewise is great- 
 ly recovered. O that I could dedicate my all to God ! 
 This is all the return I can make to him." 
 
 When he began to preach here, he had not more 
 than from twenty to twenty-five hearers; their num- 
 bers at length increased to forty, or more ; and often 
 most belonging to those parts came together to hear 
 him preach. In a letter to Rev. Mr. Pemberton, he says
 
 108 UFE OF BRAINERD. IChap. VI 
 
 " The effects which the truths of God's word have had 
 upon some of the Indians in this place, are somewha' 
 encouraging. A number of them are brought to re- 
 nounce idolatry, and to decline partaking of those 
 feasts which they used to offer in sacrifice to certain 
 supposed unknown powers. And some few among 
 them have, for a considerable time, manifested a se- 
 rious concern for their soul's eternal welfare, and still 
 continue to ' inquire the way to Zion,' with such dili- 
 gence, affection, and becoming solicitude, as gives me 
 reason to hope that ' God who, I trust, has begun this 
 work in them,' will carry it on, until it shall issue in 
 their saving conversion to himself. These not only 
 detest their old idolatrous notions, but strive also to 
 bring their friends off from them. And as they are 
 seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem de- 
 sirous, and some of them take pains, that others might 
 be excited to do the same. 
 
 " There are also many difficulties, that attend the 
 christianizing of these poor pagans. 
 
 " In the first place, their minds are filled with pre- 
 judices against Christianity, on account of the vicious 
 lives and unchristian behavior of some that are called 
 Christians. These not only set before them the worst 
 examples, but some of them take pains, expressly in 
 words, to dissuade them from becoming Christians, 
 foreseeing that if these should be converted to God, 
 ' the hope of their unlawful gain' would thereby be lost. 
 
 " Again : these poor heathens are extremely attached 
 to the customs, traditions, and f obvious notions of their 
 fathers. And this one seems to be the foundation of 
 all their other notions, viz. that ' it was not the same 
 God made them, who made the white people,' but 
 another, who commanded them to live by hunting
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 109 
 
 &c., and not to conform to the customs of the white 
 people. Hence, when they are desired to become 
 Christians, they frequently reply, that ' they will live 
 as their fathers lived, and go to their fathers when 
 they die.' And if the miracles of Christ and his apos- 
 tles be mentioned to prove the truth of Christianity, 
 they also mention sundry miracles which their fathers 
 have told them were anciently wrought among the 
 Indians, and which satan makes them believe were 
 so. They are much attached to idolatry, frequently 
 making feasts, which they eat in honor to some un- 
 known, beings, who, they suppose, speak to them in 
 dreams; promising them success in hunting, and other 
 affairs, in case they will sacrifice to them. They often- 
 times also offer their sacrifices to the spirits of the 
 dead, who, they suppose, stand in need of favors from 
 the living, and yet are in such a state as that they can 
 well reward all the offices of kindness that are shown 
 them. And they impute all their calamities to the 
 neglect of these sacrifices. 
 
 " Furthermore, they are much awed by those among 
 themselves who are called po-waws, who are supposed 
 to have a power of enchanting, or poisoning them to 
 death, or at least in a very distressing manner. And 
 they apprehended it would be their sad fate to be thus 
 enchanted in case they should become Christians. 
 
 " The manner of their living" is likewise a great dis- 
 advantage to the design of their being christianized. 
 They are almost continually roving from place to 
 place, and it is but rare that an opportunity can be 
 had with some of them for their instruction." 
 
 Oct. 1. " Was engaged in making preparations for 
 my intended journey to the Susquehanna. "Withdrew
 
 110 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 several times to the woods for secret duties, and en- 
 deavored to plead for the divine presence to go with 
 me to the poor Pagans, to whom I was going to preach 
 the Gospel. Toward night rode about four miles, and 
 met brother Byram, who was come at my desire to be 
 my companion in travel to the Indians. I rejoiced to 
 see him, and I trust God made his conversation profit- 
 able to me. I saw him, as I thought, more dead to the 
 world, its anxious cares and alluring objects, than I 
 was; and this made me look within myself, and gave 
 me a greater sense of my guilt, ingratitude, and misery. 
 
 Oct. 2. " Set out on my journey in company with 
 dear brother Byram and my interpreter, and two chief 
 Indians from the Forks of Delaware. Traveled about 
 twenty-five miles, and lodged in one of the last houses 
 on our road; after which there was nothing but a 
 hideous and howling wilderness. 
 
 Oct. 3. " We went on our way into the wilderness, 
 and found the most difficult and dangerous traveling 
 by far, that ever any of us had seen. We had scarce 
 any thing else but lofty mountains, deep valleys, and 
 hideous rocks, to make our way through. However, 
 I had some spiritual enjoyment part of the day, and 
 my mind intensely engaged in meditation on a divine 
 subject. Near night my horse hung one of her legs 
 in the rocks and fell down under me, but through 
 divine goodness I was not hurt. However, she broke 
 her leg ; and being in sucli a hideous place, and near 
 thirty miles from any house, I saw nothing that could 
 be done to preserve her life, and so was obliged to kill 
 her, and to prosecute my journey on foot. This acci- 
 dent made me admire the divine goodness to me that 
 my bones were not broken, and the multitude of them 
 filled with strong pain. Just at dark we kindled a fire,
 
 1744.] JOURNEY TO SUSCIUEHANNA. Ill 
 
 cut up a few bushes, and made a shelter over our heads 
 to save us from the frost, which was very hard that 
 night, and committing ourselves to God by prayer, 
 we lay down on ihe ground and slept quietly." 
 
 The next day they went forward on their journey, 
 and at night took up their lodgings in the woods in 
 like manner. 
 
 Oct. 5. " We reached the Susquehanna river at a 
 place called Opeholhaupung; and found there twelve 
 Indian houses. After I had saluted the king in a 
 friendly manner I told him my business, and that my 
 desire was to teach them Christianity. After some 
 consultation the Indians gathered, and I preached to 
 them. And when I had done I asked if they would 
 hear me again. They replied that they would consider 
 of it, and soon after sent me word that they would im- 
 mediately attend if I would preach, which I did with 
 freedom, both times. When I asked them again, 
 whether they would hear me further, they replied, they 
 would the next day. I was exceeding sensible of the 
 impossibility of doing any thing for the poor Heathen 
 without special assistance from above ; and my soul 
 seemed to rest on God, and leave it to him to do as he 
 pleased in that which I saw was his own cause. In- 
 deed, through divine goodness, I had felt somewhat 
 of this frame most of the time while I was traveling 
 thither ; and in some measure before I set out. 
 
 Oct. 6. " Rose early and besought the Lord for 
 help in my great work. Near noon, preached again 
 to the Indians; and in the afternoon visited them from 
 house to house, and invited them to come and hear me 
 again the next day, and put off their hunting design 
 which they were just entering upon, till Monday 
 ' This night ' I trust, ' the Lord stood by me,' to en-
 
 112 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 courage and strengthen ray soul : I spent more than 
 an hour in secret retirement ; was enabled to ' pour out 
 my heart before God,' for the increase of grace in my 
 soul, for ministerial endowments, for success among 
 the poor Indians, for God's ministers and people, for 
 distant dear friends, &c. Blessed be God ! 
 
 Oct. 8. " Visited the Indians with a design to take 
 my leave of them, supposing they would this morning 
 go out to hunting early ; but beyond my expectation 
 and hope, they desired to hear me preach again. 1 
 gladly complied with their request, and afterward en- 
 deavored to answer their objections against Christianity. 
 
 Oct. 9. " We rose about four in the morning, and 
 commending ourselves to God by prayer, and asking 
 his special protection, set out on our journey home- 
 ward about five, and traveled with great steadiness till 
 past six at night ; and then made us a fire and a shelter 
 of bark, and so rested. I had some clear and comfor- 
 table thoughts on a divine subject, by the way, toward 
 night. In the night, the wolves howled around us; 
 but God preserved us." 
 
 The next day they rose early, and at night came to 
 an Irish settlement, with which Brainerd was ac- 
 quainted, and lodged there. On the following day 
 both he and Mr. By ram preached to the people. 
 
 Oct. 12. " Rode home to my lodgings ; where I 
 poured out my soul to God in secret prayer, and en- 
 deavored to bless him for his abundant goodness to me 
 in my late journey. I scarcely ever enjoyed more 
 health, at least of later years ; and God marvellously 
 and almost miraculously, supported me under the fa- 
 tigues of the way, and traveling on foot. Blessed be 
 the Lord, who continually preserves me. 
 
 Lord's day, Oct. 14. " I went to the place of public
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 113 
 
 worship, lifting up my heart to God for assistance and 
 grace, in my great work ; and God was gracious to me : 
 helping me to plead with him for holiness, and to use 
 the strongest arguments with him, drawn from the in- 
 carnation and sufferings of Christ, for this very end, 
 that men might be made holy. Afterward, I was much 
 assisted in preaching. I know not that ever God 
 helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing 
 manner for the trial of men's state. Through the infi- 
 nite goodness of God, I felt what I spoke ; and he ena- 
 bled me to treat on divine truth with uncommon 
 clearness. 
 
 Oct. 24 " Near noon, rode to my people ; spent 
 some time, and prayed with them ; felt the frame of a 
 pilgrim on earth ; longed much to leave this gloomy 
 mansion ; but yet found the exercise of patience and 
 resignation. And as I returned home from the In- 
 dians, spent the whole time in lifting up my heart to 
 God. In the evening enjoyed a blessed season alone 
 in prayer; was enabled to cry to God with a child-like 
 spirit, for the space of near an hour; enjoyed a sweet 
 freedom in supplicating for myself, for dear friends, 
 ministers, and some who are preparing for that work, 
 and for the church of God; and longed to be as lively 
 myself in God's service as the angels. 
 
 Oct. 26. " In the morning my soul was melted 
 with a sense of divine goodness and mercy to such a 
 vile unworthy worm. I delighted to lean upon God, 
 and place my whole trust in him. My soul was ex- 
 ceedingly grieved for sin, and prized and longed after 
 holiness ; it wounded my heart deeply, yet sweetly, to 
 think how I had abused a kind God. I longed to be 
 perfectly holy that I might not grieve a gracious God; 
 who will continue to love notwithstanding Ms love h 
 
 Brainerd. 8
 
 114 LIFE OF BRAINEHD. [Chap. VI 
 
 abused ! I longed for holiness more for this end than 
 I did for my own happiness' sake ; and yet this was 
 my greatest happiness, never more to dishonor, but 
 always to glorify the blessed God. 
 
 Oct. 31. " Was sensible of my barrenness and de- 
 cays in the things of God: my soul failed when I 
 remembered the fervency which I had enjoyed at the 
 throne of grace. O, I thought, if I could but be spiri- 
 tual, warm, heavenly minded, and affectionately breath- 
 ing after God, this would be better than life to me ! 
 My soul longed exceedingly for death, to be loosed 
 from this dullness and barrenness, and made for ever 
 active in the service of God. I seemed to live for no- 
 thing, and to do no good : and O the burden of such 
 a life ! O death, death, my kind friend, hasten and 
 deliver me from dull mortality, and make me spiritual 
 and vigorous to eternity !" 
 
 Nov. 5. He set out on a journey to New- York, and 
 was from home more than a fortnight. He was ex- 
 posed to cold and storms, became greatly fatigued, 
 and when he returned from New- York to New-Jersey 
 was taken ill, and detained some time. 
 
 Nov. 21. " Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the 
 cold, and was almost overcome with it. Enjoyed some 
 sweetness in conversation with dear Mr. Jones, while 
 I dined with him. My soul loves the. people of God, 
 and especially the ministers of Jesus Christ who feel 
 the same trials that I do. 
 
 Nov. 22. " Came on my way from Rockciticus to 
 the Delaware. Was very much disordered with a 
 cold and pain in my head. About six at night I lost 
 my way in the wilderness, and wandered over rocks 
 and mountains, down hideous steeps, through swamps 
 and most dreadful and dangerous places; and the night
 
 1744.J AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 115 
 
 being dark, so that few stars could be seen, I was 
 greatly exposed. I was much pinched with cold, and 
 distressed with pain in my head, attended with sick- 
 ness at my stomach ; so that every step I took was dis- 
 tressing to me. I had little hope, for several hours 
 together, but that I must lie out in the woods all night 
 in this distressed case. But about nine o'clock I found 
 a house, through the abundant goodness of God, and 
 was kindly entertained. Thus I have frequently been 
 exposed, and sometimes lain out the whole night : but 
 God has hitherto preserved me ; and blessed be his 
 name. Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to 
 wean me from the earth ; and I trust will make heaven 
 the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to 
 cold, rain, &c. I was ready to please myself with the 
 thoughts of enjoying a comfortable house, a warm 
 fire, and other outward comforts ; but now these have 
 less place in my heart, (through the grace of God,) 
 and my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world 
 I expect tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, 
 appear strange to me. I do not in such seasons of 
 difficulty flatter myself that it will be better hereafter ; 
 but rather think how much worse it migfyt be; how 
 much greater trials others of God's children have en- 
 dured ; and how much greater are yet perhaps re- 
 served for me. Blessed be God, that he makes the 
 thoughts of my journey's end, and of my dissolution 
 a great comfort to me under my sharpest trials ; and 
 scarce ever lets these thoughts be attended with terror 
 or melancholy ; but they are attended frequently with 
 great joy. 
 
 Nov. 23. " Visited a sick man ; discoursed and 
 prayed with him. Then visited another house, where 
 was one dead and laid out : looked on the corpse, and
 
 1 16 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VI. 
 
 longed that my time might come to depart and be with 
 Christ. Then went home to my lodgings about one 
 o'clock. Felt poorly ; but was able to read most of 
 the afternoon." 
 
 Within the space of the next twelve days he spent 
 much time in hard labor, with others, to make for 
 himself a little cottage or hut, to live in by himself 
 through the winter. Yet he frequently preached to 
 the Indians, and speaks of special assistance which he 
 had from time to time, in addressing himself to them ; 
 and of his sometimes having considerable encourage- 
 ment from the attention whicli they gave. But on 
 Tuesday, December 4, he was sunk into great dis- 
 couragement, to see most of them going in company 
 to an idolatrous feast and dance, after he had taken 
 abundant pains to dissuade them from these things. 
 
 Dec. 6. " Having now a happy opportunity of be- 
 ing retired in a house of my own, which I have lately 
 procured and moved into ; considering that it is now 
 a long time since I have been able, either on account 
 of bodily weakness or for want of retirement, or some 
 other difficulty, to spend any time in secret fasting 
 and prayer; considering also the greatness of my 
 work, the extreme difficulties that attend it, and that 
 my poor Indians are now worshipping devils, notwith- 
 standing all the pains I have taken with them, which 
 almost overwhelms my spirit ; moreover, considering 
 my extreme barrenness, spiritual deadness and dejec- 
 tion, of late ; as also the power of some particular cor- 
 ruptions ; I set apart this day for secret prayer and 
 fasting, to implore the blessing of God on myself, on 
 my poor people, on my friends, and on the church of 
 God. At first I felt a great backwardness to the duties 
 of the day on account of the seeming impossibility of
 
 1744. J AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 117 
 
 performing them : but the Lord helped me to break 
 through this difficulty. God was pleased, by the use of 
 means, to give me some clear conviction of my sinful- 
 ness, and a discovery of the plague of my own heart, 
 more affecting than what I have of late had. And es- 
 pecially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when God 
 had withdrawn himself, then, instead of living and dy- 
 ing in pursuit of him, I have been disposed to one of 
 these two things: either to yield an unbecoming re- 
 spect to some earthly objects, as if happiness were to 
 be derived from them ; or to be secretly froward and 
 impatient, and unsuitably desirous of death, so that I 
 have sometimes thought I could not bear to think that 
 my life must be lengthened out. That which often 
 drove me to this impatient desire of death, was a de- 
 spair of doing any good in life : and I chose death 
 rather than a life spent for nothing. But now God 
 made me sensible of my sin in these things, and en- 
 abled me to cry to him for forgiveness. Yet this was 
 not all I wanted, for my soul appeared exceedingly 
 polluted, my heart seemed like a nest of vipers, or a 
 cage of unclean and hateful birds ; and therefore I 
 wanted to be purified 'by the blood of sprinkling, that 
 cleanseth from all sin.' This, I hope, I was enabled to 
 pray for in faith. I enjoyed much more intenseness, 
 fervency, and spirituality, than I expected ; God was 
 better to me than my fears. Toward night, I felt my 
 soul rejoice, that God is unchangeably happy and glo- 
 rious ; and that he will be glorified, whatever becomes 
 of his creatures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer 
 until sometime in the evening ; at which time I saw so 
 much need of divine help, in every respect, that I knew 
 not how to leave off, and had forgot that I needed food. 
 Blessed be the Lord for any help in the past day.
 
 118 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 Dec. 7. "Spent some time in prayer, in the morn- 
 ing ; enjoyed some freedom and affection in the duty, 
 and had longing desires of being made ' faithful to the 
 death.' Spent a little time in writing on a divine sub- 
 ject ; then visited the Indians, and preached to them j 
 but I had no heart to speak to them, and could not do 
 it, but as I forced myself: I knew they must hate to 
 hear me, as having but just got home from their idola- 
 trous feast and devil-worship. In the evening, had 
 some freedom in prayer and meditation. 
 
 Dec. 12. " Was very weak ; but somewhat assisted 
 in secret prayer, and enabled with pleasure and sweet- 
 ness to cry, ' Come, Lord Jesus ! come, Lord Jesus ! 
 come quickly.' My soul ' longed for God, for the living 
 God.' O how delightful it is to pray under such sweet 
 influences ! O how much better is this than one's ne- 
 cessary food ! I had at this time no disposition to eat, 
 (though late in the morning ,) for earthly food ap- 
 peared wholly tasteless. O how much ' better is thy 
 love than wine,' than the sweetest wine ! I visited 
 and preached to the Indians in the afternoon ; but un- 
 der much dejection. Found my Interpreter under 
 some concern for his soul ; which was some comfort 
 to me ; and yet filled me with new care. I longed 
 greatly for his conversion; lifted up my heart to God 
 for it, while I was talking to him ; came home, and 
 poured out my soul to God for him ; enjoyed some 
 freedom in prayer, and was enabled, I think, to leave 
 all with God. 
 
 Dec. 18. "Went to the Indians, and discoursed to 
 them near an hour, without any power to come close 
 to their hearts. But at last I felt some fervency, and 
 God helped me to speak with warmth. My Interpre- 
 ter also was amazingly assisted ; and presently most 

 
 1744.] AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 119 
 
 of the grown persons were much affected, and the tears 
 ran down their cheeks. One old man, I suppose an 
 hundred years old, was so much affected that he wept, 
 and seemed convinced of the importance of what I 
 taught them. I staid with them a considerable time, 
 exhorting and directing them ; and came away, lifting 
 up my heart to God in prayer and praise, and encou- 
 raged and exhorted my Interpreter to 'strive to enter 
 in at the strait gate.' Came home, and spent most of 
 the evening in prayer and thanksgiving; and found 
 myself much enlarged and quickened. Was greatly 
 concerned that the Lord's work, which seemed to be 
 begun, might be carried on with power, to the conver- 
 sion of poor souls, and the glory of divine grace. 
 
 Dec, 19. " Spent a great part of the day in prayer 
 to God for the outpouring of his Spirit on my poor 
 people ; as also to bless his name for awakening my 
 Interpreter and some others, and giving us some tokens 
 of his presence yesterday. And blessed be God, I had 
 much freedom, five or six times in the day, in prayer 
 and praise, and felt a weighty concern upon my spirit 
 for the salvation of those precious souls, and the en- 
 largement of the Redeemer's kingdom among them. 
 My soul hoped in God for some success in my minis- 
 try : blessed be his name for so much hope. 
 
 Dec. 21. "Was enabled again to pray with freedom, 
 cheerfulness, and hope. God was pleased to make the 
 duty comfortable and pleasant to me ; so that I delight- 
 ed to persevere, and repeatedly to engage in it. To- 
 ward noon visited my people, and spent the whole 
 time in the way to them in prayer, longing to see the 
 power of God among them, as there appeared some- 
 thing of it the last Tuesday ; and I found it sweet to 
 rest and hopo in God. Preached to them twice, and
 
 J20 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VI. 
 
 at two distinct places : had considerable freedom each 
 time, and so had my Interpreter. Several of them fol- 
 lowed me from one place to the other ; and I thought 
 there was some divine influence discernible among 
 them. In the evening was assisted in prayer again. 
 Blessed be the Lord. 
 
 Dec. 25. "Enjoyed very little quiet sleep last night, 
 by reason of bodily weakness, and the closeness of my 
 studies yesterday ; yet my heart was somewhat lively 
 in prayer and praise. I was delighted with the divine 
 glory and happiness, and rejoiced that God was God, 
 and that he was unchangeably possessed of glory and 
 blessedness. Though God held my eyes waking, yet 
 he helped me to improve my time profitably amidst my 
 pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Luke, 
 13 : 7. 'Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit.' 
 &c. My meditations were sweet ; and I wanted to set 
 before sinners their sin and danger." 
 
 He continued in a very low state, as to his bodily 
 health, for some days, which seems to have been a 
 great hindrance to him in his religious exercises and 
 pursuits. But yet he expresses some degree of divine 
 assistance, from day to day, through the remainder of 
 this week. He preached several times this week to his 
 Indians ; and there appeared still some concern among 
 them for their souls. 
 
 Jan. 9, 1745. " In the morning God was pleased to 
 remove that gloom which has of late oppressed my 
 mind, and gave me freedom and sweetness in prayer ; 
 I was encouraged, strengthened, and enabled to plead 
 for grace myself, and mercy for my poor Indians ; and 
 was sweetly assisted in my intercessions with God for 
 others. Blessed be his holy name for ever and ever. 
 Amen, and Amen. Those things that of late have ap-
 
 1745.J AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 121 
 
 peared most difficult and almost impossible, now ap- 
 peared not only possible, but easy. My soul so much 
 delighted to continue instant in prayer, at this blessed 
 season, that I had no desire for my necessary food : I 
 even dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest I should 
 lose this spirituality, and this blessed thankfulness to 
 God which I then felt. I felt now quite willing to live, 
 and undergo all trials that might remain for me in a 
 world of sorrow; but still longed for heaven, that I 
 might glorify God in a perfect manner. ' O come, Lord 
 Jesus, come quickly.' 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 3. " In the morning I was some- 
 what relieved of that gloom and confusion with which 
 my mind has of late been greatly exercised ; and was 
 enabled to pray with some composure and comfort. 
 Still I went to my Indians trembling ; but God was 
 pleased to hear my cries, and to afford me great assis- 
 tance; so that I felt peace in my own soul; and was 
 satisfied, that if not one of the Indians should be pro- 
 fited by my preaching, but they should all be damned, 
 yet I should be accepted and rewarded as faithful ; for 
 I am persuaded, God enabled me to be so. Had some 
 good degree of help afterward at another place ; and 
 much longed for the conversion of the poor Indians." 
 
 On the next Sabbath he preached at Greenwich, in 
 New-Jersey. In the evening he rode eight miles to 
 visit a sick man at the point of death, and found him 
 speechless and senseless. 
 
 Feb. 11. "About the break of day the sick man 
 died. I was affected at the sight ; spent the morning 
 with the mourners ; and after prayer and some dis- 
 course with them, returned to Greenwich, and preached 
 again from Psalm 89 : 15. The Lord gave me some 
 assistance ; I felt a sweet love to souls and to the
 
 122 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VI. 
 
 kingdom of Christ ; and longed that poor sinners might 
 * know the joyful sound.' Several persons were much 
 affected. After meeting, I was enabled to discourse, 
 with freedom and concern, to some persons who ap- 
 plied to me under spiritual trouble. Left the place, 
 sweetly composed, and rode home to my house about 
 eight miles distant. Discoursed to friends, and incul- 
 cated divine truths upon some. In the evening was in 
 the most solemn frame which I almost ever remember 
 to have experienced. I know not that ever death ap- 
 peared more real to me, or that ever I saw myself in 
 the condition of a dead corpse, laid out, and dressed for 
 a lodging in the silent grave, so evidently as at this 
 time. And yet I felt exceedingly tranquil ; my mind 
 was composed and calm, and death appeared without 
 a sting. I think I never felt such an universal 
 mortification to all created objects as now. O, how 
 great and solemn a thing it appeared to die ! O, how 
 it lays the greatest honor in the dust ! And O, how 
 vain and trifling did the riches, honors, and pleasures 
 of the world appear ! I could not, I dare not so much 
 as think of any of them ; for death, death appeared at 
 the door. O, I could see myself dead, and laid out, 
 and inclosed in my coffin, and put down into the cold 
 grave, with the greatest solemnity, but without terror ! 
 I spent most of the evening in conversing with a dear 
 Christian friend. Blessed be God for the comforts of 
 the past day. 
 
 Feb. 15. " Was engaged in writing almost the 
 whole day. In the evening was much assisted in 
 meditating on that precious text, John, 7 : 37. ' Jesus 
 stood and cried,' &c. I had then a sweet sense of the 
 free grace of the gospel ; my soul was encouraged, 
 warmed, and quickened. My desires were drawn out
 
 1745.] AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 123 
 
 after God in prayer; and my soul was watchful, afraid 
 of losing such a guest as I then entertained. I con- 
 tinued long in prayer and meditation, intermixing one 
 with the other ; and was unwilling to be diverted by 
 any thing at all from so sweet an exercise. I longed 
 to proclaim the grace I then meditated upon, to the 
 world of sinners. O how quick and powerful is the 
 word of the blessed God. 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 17. " Preached to the white people 
 [my interpreter being absent,] in the wilderness, upon 
 the sunny side of a hill ; had a considerable' assembly, 
 consisting of people who lived, at least many of them, 
 not less than thirty miles asunder ; some of them came 
 near twenty miles. I discoursed to them all day, from 
 John. 7 : 37. ' Jesus stood and cried, saying, that if any 
 man thirst,' &c. In the afternoon, it pleased God to 
 grant me great freedom and fervency in my discourse 
 and I was enabled to imitate the example of Christ in 
 the text, who stood and cried. I think I was scarce 
 ever enabled to exhibit the free grace of God to perish- 
 ing sinners with more freedom and plainness in my 
 life. Afterward, I was enabled earnestly to invite the 
 children of God to come renewedly, and drink of this 
 fountain of the water of life, from whence they have 
 heretofore derived unspeakable satisfaction. It was a 
 very comfortable time to me. There were many tears 
 in the assembly ; and I doubt not but that the Spirit of 
 God was there, convincing poor sinners of their need 
 of Christ. In the evening I felt composed and com- 
 fortable, though much tired. I had some sweet sense 
 of the excellency and glory of God ; my soul rejoiced 
 that he was 'God over all. blessed for ever;' but-vvas 
 too much crowded with company and conversation, 
 and longed to be more alone with God. O that I could
 
 124 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI, 
 
 for ever bless God for the mercy of this day, who 
 ' answered me in the joy of my heart.' 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 24. " In the morning was much 
 perplexed. My interprets being absent, I knew not 
 how to perform my work among the Indians. How- 
 ever, I rode to them, got a Dutchman to interpret fox 
 me, though he was but poorly qualified for the business. 
 Afterward I came and preached to a few white people, 
 from John, 6 : 67. Here the Lord seemed to unburden 
 me in some measure, especially toward the close of my 
 discourse : I felt freedom to open the love of Christ to 
 his own dear disciples. When the rest of the world 
 forsake him, and are forsaken by him, he then turns to 
 his own, and says, Will ye also go away ? I had a 
 sense of the free grace of Christ to his own people, in 
 such seasons of general apostacy, and when they them- 
 selves in some measure backslide with the world. O 
 the free grace of Christ, that he seasonably reminds 
 his people of their danger of backsliding, and invites 
 them to persevere in their adherence to himself! I saw 
 that backsliding souls, who seemed to be about to go 
 away with the world, might return, and be welcome, 
 to him immediately ; without any thing to recommend 
 them ; notwithstanding all their former backslid ings. 
 Thus my discourse was suited to my own soul's case ; 
 for of late, I have found a great want of this sense and 
 apprehension of divine grace; and have often been 
 greatly distressed in my own soul, because I did not 
 suitably apprehend this fountain opened to purge away 
 sin ; and have been too much laboring for spiritual 
 life, peace of conscience, and progressive holiness, in 
 my own strength. Now God showed me, in some 
 measure, the arm of all strength, and the fountain of 
 all grace. In the evening, I felt solemn, resting on
 
 1745.] AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 125 
 
 free grace for assistance, acceptance, and peace of 
 conscience. 
 
 March 6. " Spent most of the day in preparing for 
 a journey to New-England ; and sometime in prayer 
 with a special reference to it. Was afraid I should 
 forsake the Fountain of living waters, and attempt to 
 derive satisfaction from broken cisterns, my dear 
 friends and acquaintance, whom I might meet in my 
 journey. I looked to God to keep me from this vanity 
 as well as others. Toward night, and in the evening, 
 was visited by some friends, some of whom I trust were 
 real Christians ; who discovered an affectionate regard 
 to me, and seemed grieved that I was about to leave 
 them ; especially as I did not expect to make any con- 
 siderable stay among them, if I should live to return.* 
 O how kind has God been to me ! how he has raised 
 up friends in every place where his providence has 
 called me ! Friends are a great comfort ; and it is 
 God who gives them ; it is He who makes them friendly 
 to me. ' Bless the Lord, my soul, and forget not all 
 his benefits.' " 
 
 The next day he set out on his journey ; and it was 
 about five weeks before he returned. The special de 
 sign of this journey, he himself declares afterward, 
 in his diary for March 21, where, speaking of his con- 
 versing with a certain minister in New-England, he 
 says, " Contrived with him how to raise some money 
 among Christian friends, in order to support a colleague 
 with me in the wilderness, (I having now spent two 
 years in a very solitary manner,) that we might be to- 
 gether : as Christ sent out his disciples two and two 
 
 *It seems by what afterward appears, that he had a design 
 to remove and live among the Indians on the Susquehanna 
 river.
 
 126 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 and as this was the principal concern I had in view, in 
 taking this journey, so I took pains in it, and hope God 
 will succeed it, if for his glory." He first went into 
 various parts of New-Jersey, and visited several minis- 
 ters there ; then went to New-York ; and from thence 
 into New-England, going to various parts of Connec- 
 ticut. He then returned to New- Jersey, and met a num- 
 ber of ministers at Woodbridge, " who," he says " met 
 there to consult about the affairs of Christ's kingdom." 
 He seems, for the most part, to have been free from 
 melancholy in this journey ; and many times to have 
 had extraordinary assistance in public ministrations, 
 and his preaching was sometimes attended with very 
 hopeful appearances of a good effect on the auditory. 
 He also had many seasons of special comfort and spiri- 
 tual refreshment, in conversation with ministers and 
 other Christian friends, and also in meditation and 
 prayer when alone. 
 
 April 13. "Rode home to my own house at the 
 Forks of Delaware ; was enabled to remember the good- 
 ness of the Lord, who has now preserved me while ri- 
 ding full six hundred miles in this journey ; and kept 
 me that none of my bones have been broken. Blessed 
 be the Lord, who has preserved me in this tedious jour- 
 ney, and returned me in safety to my own house. 
 Verily it is God who has upheld me, and guarded my 
 goings. 
 
 Lord's day, April 14. "Was disordered in body 
 with the fatigues of the late journey ; but was enabled 
 however to preach to a considerable assembly of white 
 people, gathered from all parts round about, with some 
 freedom, from Ezek. 33: 11. 'As I live saith the Lord,' 
 &c. Had much more assistance than I expected." 
 
 This week he went, a journey to Philadelphia, in or-
 
 1745. J AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 127 
 
 der to engage the Governor to use his interest with 
 the chief of the Six Nations, with whom he maintain- 
 ed a strict friendship, that he would give him leave to 
 live at Susquehanna, and instruct the Indians who are 
 within their territories. 
 
 April 26. "Conversed with a Christian friend with 
 some warmth ; and felt a spirit of mortification to the 
 world, in a very great degree. Afterward, was en- 
 abled to pray fervently, and to rely on God sweetly, 
 for 'all things pertaining to life and godliness.' Just 
 in the evening, was visited by a dear Christian friend, 
 with whom I spent an hour or two in conversation, on 
 the very soul of religion. There are many with whom 
 I can talk about religion; but alas! I find few with 
 whom I can talk religion itself; but, blessed be the 
 Lord there are some that love to feed on the kernel, 
 rather than the shell. 
 
 April 30. "Was scarce able to walk about, and was 
 obliged to betake myself to bed much of the day ; and 
 passed away the time in a very solitary manner; being 
 neither able to read, meditate, nor pray, and had none 
 to converse with in this wilderness. O how heavily 
 does time pass away when I can do nothing to any 
 good purpose; but seem obliged to trifle away precious 
 time! But of late I have seen it my duty to divert 
 myself by all lawful means, that I may be fit, at least 
 some small part of my time, to labor for God. And 
 here is the difference between my present diversions, 
 and those I once pursued, when in a natural state. 
 Then I made a God of my diversions, delighted in 
 them with a neglect of God, and drew my highest sa- 
 tisfaction from them. Now I use them as means to 
 help me in living to God ; fixedly delighting in him, 
 and not in them, drawing my highest satisfaction from
 
 128 LIFE OP BRAINERD. 
 
 him. Then they were my all ; now they are only 
 -means leading to my all. And those things that are 
 the greatest diversion, when pursued with this view, 
 do not tend to hinder, but promote my spirituality ; 
 and I see now, more than ever, that they are absolutely 
 necessary. 
 
 May 2. "In the evening, being a little better in 
 health, I walked into the woods, and enjoyed a sweet 
 season of meditation and prayer. My thoughts ran 
 upon Psalm 17 : 15. 'I shall be satisfied, when I awake, 
 with thy likeness.' And it was indeed a precious texl 
 to me. I longed to preach to the whole world ; and it 
 seemed to me they must needs all be melted in hear- 
 ing such precious divine truths as I then had a view 
 of. My thoughts were exceeding clear, and my soul 
 was refreshed. Blessed be the Lord, that in my late 
 and present weakness, now for many days together, 
 my mind is not gloomy, as at some other times. 
 
 May 7. " Spent the day mainly in making prepara- 
 tion for a journey into the wilderness. Was still weak, 
 and concerned how I should perform so difficult a jour- 
 ney; but wanted bodily strength to spend the day in 
 fasting and prayer." 
 
 The next day he set out on his journey to the Sus- 
 quehanna, with his interpreter. He endured great hard- 
 ships and fatigues in his way thither through the wil- 
 derness; where, after having lodged one night in the 
 open woods, he was overtaken with a north-easterly 
 storm, in which he was ready to perish. Having no 
 manner of shelter, and not being able to make a fire in 
 so great a rain, he could have no comfort if he stopped ; 
 ho therefore determined to go forward in hope of 
 meeting with some shelter, without which he thought 
 it impossible to live the night through ; but their horses
 
 1745.J JOURNEY TO SUSauEHANNA. 125) 
 
 happening to eat poison, for the want of other food, at 
 a place where they lodged the night before, were so 
 sick that they could neither ride nor lead them, but 
 were obliged to drive them and travel on foot ; until, 
 through the mercy of God, just at dusk they came to 
 a bark hut, where they lodged that night. After he 
 came to the Susquehanna he traveled about a hundred 
 miles on the river, and visited many towns and settle- 
 ments of the Indians ; saw some of seven or eight 
 tribes, and preached to different nations, by different 
 interpreters. He was sometimes much discouraged, 
 and sunk in his spirits, through the opposition which 
 appeared in the Indians to Christianity. At other times 
 he was encouraged by the disposition which some of 
 these people manifested to hear, and their willingness 
 to be instructed. He here met with some who had 
 formerly been his hearers at Kaunaumeek, and had 
 removed hither ; who saw and heard him again with 
 great joy. He spent a fortnight among the Indians on 
 this river, and passed through many labors and hard- 
 ships, lodging on the ground for several weeks, and 
 sometimes in the open air. At length he became ex- 
 tremely ill, as he was riding in the wilderness, being 
 seized with an ague, followed with a burning fever 
 and extreme pains in his head and bowels, attended 
 with a great evacuation of blood ; so that he thought 
 he must have perished in the wilderness. But at last 
 coming to an Indian trader's hut, he got leave to stay 
 there; and though without physic or food proper for 
 him, it pleased God, after about a week's distress, to 
 relieve him so far that he was able to ride. He re- 
 turned homeward from Juncauta, an island far down 
 the river, where were a considerable number of Indians, 
 who appeared more free from prejudices against Chris- 
 
 Brainerd. C)
 
 130 UFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VI 
 
 tianity than most of the other Indians ; and arrived at 
 the Forks of Delaware on Thursday, May 30, after 
 having rode in this journey about three hundred and 
 forty miles. He came home in a very week state, and 
 under dejection of mind ; which was a great hindrance 
 to him in religious exercises. However, on the Sab- 
 bath, after having preached to the Indians, he preached 
 to the white people with some success, from Isaiah, 
 53 : 10. " Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him," &c. 
 some being awakened by his preaching. The next 
 day he was much exercised for want of spiritual life 
 and fervency. 
 
 June 5. " Felt thirsting desires after God, in the 
 morning. In the evening, enjoyed a precious season 
 of retirement : was favored with some clear and sweet 
 meditations upon a sacred text ; divine things opened 
 with clearness and certainty, and had a divine stamp 
 upon them. My soul was also enlarged and refreshed 
 in prayer ; I delighted to continue in the duty ; and was 
 sweetly assisted in praying for my fellow Christians, 
 and dear brethren in the ministry. Blessed be the dear 
 Lord for such enjoyments. O how sweet and precious 
 it is to have a clear apprehension and tender sense of 
 the mystery of godliness, of true holiness, and of like- 
 ness to the best of beings ! O what a blessedness it is 
 to be as much like God as it is possible for a creature 
 to be like his great Creator ! Lord give me more of thy 
 likeness; ' I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with it.' " 
 
 On Friday, June 7, he went a journey of near fifty 
 miles, toNeshaminy, to assist at 3 sacramental occasion, 
 to be attended at Mr. Beatty's meeting-house ; being in- 
 vited thither by him and his people. 
 
 June 8. " Was exceedingly weak and fatigued with 
 riding in the heat yesterday ; but being desired, I
 
 1745.] AT NESHAM1NY. 131 
 
 preached in the afternoon, to a crowded audience, 
 from Isaiah, 40 : 1. ' Comfort ye, comfort ye my 
 people, saith your God.' God was pleased to give me 
 great freedom, in opening the sorrows of his people, 
 and in setting before them comforting considerations. 
 And, blessed be the Lord, it was a sweet melting season 
 in the assembly. 
 
 lard's day, June 9. " Felt some longing desires of 
 the presence of God to be with his people on the 
 solemn occasion of the day. In the forenoon Mr. 
 Beatty preached ; and there appeared some warmth in 
 the assembly. Afterward, I assisted in the administra- 
 tion of the Lord's supper : and toward the close of it, 
 I discoursed to the multitude extempore, with some 
 reference to that sacred passage, Isaiah, 53 : 10. ' Yet 
 it pleased the Lord to bruise him.' Here God gave me 
 great assistance in addressing sinners : and the word 
 was attended with amazing power: many scores, if 
 not hundreds, in that great assembly, consisting ol 
 three or four thousand, were much affected ; so that 
 there was a ' very great mourning, like the mourning 
 of Hadadrimmon.' 
 
 June 10. "Preached with a good degree of clear- 
 ness and some swee,t warmth from Psalm 17 : 15. 'I 
 shall be satisfied, ^hen I awake, with thy likeness.' 
 And blessed be God, there was a great solemnity, and 
 attention in the assembly, and sweet refreshment 
 among God's people ; as was evident then and af- 
 terward. 
 
 June 11. "Spent the day mainly in conversation 
 with dear Christian friends ; and enjoyed some sweet 
 sense of divine things. O how desirable it is to keep 
 company with God's dear children ! ' These are the ex- 
 cellent ones of the earth,' in whom, I can truly say
 
 132 LIFE OF BRAINERD. | Chap. VII. 
 
 ' is all my delight.' O what delight will it afford, to 
 meet them all in a state of perfection ! Lord prepare 
 me for that state. 
 
 June 18. "Set out from New-Brunswick with a de- 
 sign to visit some Indians at a place called Crossweek- 
 sunff, in New-Jersey, toward the sea. In the afternoon, 
 came to a place called Cranberry, and meeting with a 
 serious minister, Mr. Macknight, I lodged there with 
 him. Had some enlargement and freedom in prayer 
 with a number of people." 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Being part ]st of kis public journal of "the Rise and Progress of 
 a remarkable work of grace among the Indiant in New-Jersey 
 and Pennsylvania, kept by order of the Society in Scotland for 
 propagating Christian knmdedge." Commencement of his la- 
 bors at Crossiceeksung. Renewal of labor at the Forkt of 
 Delaware. Conversion of his Interpreter. Return to Cross- 
 weeksung. Outpouring of the spirit. Visit to the Forks of 
 Delaware and the Susquehanna. JlPmoaw. Jl Conjurer. Re- 
 newal of labor at Crossweeksung. Remarks on the works of 
 Divine Grace. 
 
 Jhns 19. Nov. 5, 1745. 
 
 [We are now come to that part of Ikainerd's Life, 
 when he'had the greatest success in his labors for the 
 good of souls, and in his particular business as a mis- 
 sionary to the Indians. After all his agonizing in prayer, 
 and travailing in birth for their conversion his raised 
 hopes and expectations, disappointments and encou- 
 ragements; after panting in a way of persevering prayer, 
 labor, and suffering, as it were through along night; 
 at length the day dawns : i: Weeping continues for a
 
 1745.J AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 133 
 
 night, but joy comes in the morning." He went forth 
 weeping, " bearing precious seed," but now he comes 
 " with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." The 
 desired event is brought to pass at last ; but at a time, 
 in a place, and upon subjects, that scarce ever entered 
 his heart.] 
 
 " Crossweeltsung, in New-Jersey, June 17, 1745. 
 
 Jane 19." I had spent most of my time for more than 
 a year past among the Indians at the Forks of Dela- 
 ware, in Pennsylvania. During that time I made two 
 journies to the Susquehanna, to treat with the Indians on 
 that river respecting Christianity ; and not having had 
 any considerable appearance of special success in either 
 of those places, my spirits were depressed, and I was 
 not a little discouraged. Hearing that there were a 
 number of Indians at a place called Crossweeksung, in 
 New-Jersey, nearly eighty miles south east from the 
 Forks of Delaware, I determined to make them a visit, 
 and see what might be done toward christianizing 
 them ; and accordingly arrived among them this day. 
 
 " I found very few persons at the place I visited, and 
 perceived that the Indians in these parts were very 
 much scattered. There were not more than two or 
 three families in a place ; and these small settlements 
 were six, ten, fifteen, twenty, or thirty miles, and some 
 more from that place. However, I preached to those 
 few I found ; who appeared well disposed, serious and 
 attentive, and not inclined to cavil and object, as the 
 Indians had done elsewhere. When I had concluded 
 my discourse, I informed them (there being none but 
 a few women and children) that I would willingly 
 visit them again the next day. Whereupon ihey 
 readily set out and traveled ten or fifteen miles, in
 
 134 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [ Chap. VII 
 
 order to give notice to some of their friends at that 
 distance. These women, like the woman of Samaria, 
 seemed desirous that others should see the man who 
 had told them what they had done in their past lives, 
 and the misery that attended their idolatrous ways. 
 
 June 20. " Visited and preached to the Indians 
 again as I proposed. Numbers were gathered at the 
 invitations of their friends, who had heard me the day 
 before. These also appeared as attentive, orderly and 
 well disposed, as the others : and none made any objec- 
 tions, as Indians in other places have usually done. 
 
 June 22. " Preached to the Indians again. Their 
 number, which at first consisted of seven or eight per- 
 sons, was now increased to nearly thirty. There was 
 not only a solemn attention among them, but some con- 
 siderable impression, it was apparent, was made upon 
 their minds by divine truth. Some began to feel their 
 misery, and perishing state, and appeared concerned 
 for a deliverance from it. 
 
 Lord's day, June 23. Preached to the Indians, and 
 spent the day with them. Their number still increased ; 
 and all with one consent, seemed to rejoice in my 
 coming among them. Not a word of opposition was 
 heard from any of them against Christianity, although 
 in times past they had been as much opposed to any 
 thing of that nature as any Indians whatsoever. Some 
 of them, not many months before, were enraged with 
 my Interpreter because he attempted to teach them 
 something of Christianity. 
 
 June 24. " Preached to the Indians at their desire 
 and upon their own motion. To see poor Pagans de- 
 sirous of hearing the gospel of Christ, animated me to 
 discourse to them ; although I was now very weak, 
 and my spirits much exhausted. They attended with the
 
 1745. | AT CROSSWEEKSCNG. 135 
 
 greatest seriousness and diligence ; and some concern 
 for their soul's salvation was apparent among them. 
 
 June 27. " Visited and preached to the Indians 
 again. Their number now amounted to about forty 
 persons. Their solemnity and attention still continued, 
 and a considerable concern for their souls became very 
 apparent among numbers of them. 
 
 June 28. " The Indians being now gathered, a con- 
 siderable number of them, from their several and dis- 
 tant habitations, requested me to preach twice a day to 
 them ; being desirous to hear as much as they possibly 
 could while I was with them. I cheerfully complied 
 with their request, and could not but admire the good- 
 ness of God, who I was persuaded had inclined them 
 thus to inquire after the way of salvation. 
 
 June 29. " Preached twice to the Indians. Saw, as 
 I thought, the hand of God very evidently, and in a 
 manner somewhat remarkable, making provision for 
 their subsistence together, in order to their being in- 
 structed in divine things; for this day, and the day 
 before, with only walking a little way from the place 
 of our daily meeting, they killed three deer, which 
 were a seasonable supply for their wants, and without 
 which, they could not have subsisted together in order 
 to attend the means of grace. 
 
 Lord's day, June 30. " Preached twice this day also. 
 Observed yet more concern and affection among the 
 poor heathen than ever ; so that they even constrained 
 me to tarry yet longer with them, although my consti- 
 tution was exceedingly worn out, and my health much 
 impaired by my late fatigues and labors; and espe- 
 cially by my late journey to the Susquehanna in May 
 last, in which I lodged on the ground for several 
 weeks together.
 
 136 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 July 1. " Preached again twice to a very serious 
 and attentive assembly of Indians ; they having now 
 learned to attend on the worship of God with Chris- 
 tian decency in all respects. There were now between 
 forty and fifty persons of them present, old and young. 
 I spent a considerable time in discoursing with them 
 in a more private way ; inquiring of them what they 
 remembered of the great truths which had been taught 
 them from day to day; and may justly say, it was 
 antazing to see how they had received and retained 
 the instructions given them, and what a measure of 
 knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days. 
 
 July 2. "Was obliged to leave these Indians at 
 Crossweeksung, thinking it my duty, as soon as health 
 would admit, again to visit those at the Forks of Dela- 
 ware. When I came to take leave of them, and to 
 speak particularly to each of them, they all earnestly 
 inquired when I would come again, and expressed a 
 great desire of being further instructed. Of their own 
 accord they agreed, that, when I should come again, 
 they would all meet and live together during my con- 
 tinuance with them ; and that they would use their ut- 
 most endeavors to gather all the other Indians in 
 these parts who were yet more remote. When 1 
 parted from them, one told me, with many tears, ' She 
 wished God would change her heart ;' another, that 
 ' she wanted to find Christ ;' and an old man who had 
 been one of their chiefs, wept bitterly with concern for 
 his soul. I then promised them to return as speedily 
 as my health and business elsewhere would permit, 
 and felt not a little concern at parting, lest the good 
 impressions, then apparent upon numbers of them, 
 might decline and wear off, when the means came to 
 cease. Yet I could not but hope, that He, who I
 
 1745.] AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 137 
 
 trusted had begun a good work among them, and who 
 I knew did not stand in need of means to carry it on, 
 would mantain and promote it. At the same time, I 
 must confess, that I had often seen encouraging ap- 
 pearances among the Indians elsewhere, prove wholly 
 abortive, and it appeared that the favor would be too 
 great, if God should now, after I had passed through 
 so considerable a series of almost fruitless labors and 
 fatigues, and after my rising hopes had been so often 
 frustrated among these poor pagans, give me any spe- 
 cial success in my labors with them, I could not be- 
 lieve, and scarcely dared to hope, that the event would 
 be so happy ; and scarcely ever found myself more 
 suspended between hope and fear in any affair, or at 
 any time, than in this. 
 
 " This encouraging disposition, and readiness to re- 
 ceive instruction, now apparent among the Indians, 
 seems to have been the happy effect of the conviction 
 which one or two of them met with, some time since, 
 at the Forks of the Delaware ; who have since endea- 
 vored to show their friends the evil of idolatry. Though 
 the other Indians seemed but little to regard, and rather 
 to deride them ; yet this, perhaps, has put them into a 
 thinking posture of mind, or at least given them some 
 thoughts about Christianity, and excited in some of 
 them a curiosity to hear ; and so made way for the pre- 
 sent encouraging attention. An apprehension that this 
 might be the case here, has given me encouragement 
 that God may, in such a manner, bless the means which 
 I have used with the Indians in other places ; where, 
 as yet there is no appearance of it. If so, may his name 
 have the glory of it ; for I have learnt, by experience, 
 that he only can open the ear, engage the attention.
 
 138 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII, 
 
 and incline the hearts of poor benighted, prejudiced 
 pagans, to receive instruction." 
 
 Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania, July, 1745. 
 
 ford's day, July 14. " Discoursed to the Indians 
 twice. Several of them appeared concerned, and were, 
 I have reason to think, in some measure convinced, by 
 the Divine Spirit, of their sin and misery ; so that they 
 wept much the whole time of divine service. After- 
 ward discoursed to a number of white people then 
 present. 
 
 July 18. " Preached to my people, who attended di- 
 ligently beyond what had been common among these 
 Indians ; and some of them appeared concerned for 
 their souls. 
 
 Lord's day, July 21. " Preached to the Indians first, 
 then to a number of white people present; and in the 
 afternoon to the Indians again. Divine truth seemed 
 to make very considerable impressions upon several of 
 them, and caused the tears to flow freely. 
 
 " On this day my interpreter and his wife publicly 
 professed their faith in Christ, being the first hopeful 
 converts among the Indians. They have both been 
 awakened to a solemn concern for their souls ; have, to 
 appearance, been brought to a sense of their misery 
 and undoneness in themselves ; have both appeared to 
 be comforted with divine consolations ; and it is ap- 
 parent that both have passed a great, and I cannot but 
 hope, a saving change. 
 
 " It may perhaps be satisfactory and agreeable, that I 
 should give some BRIEF RELATION OF THIS MAN'S EXER- 
 CISES AND EXPERIENCE since he has been with me ; es- 
 pecially since he is employed as my interpreter to 
 others. When I first employed him in this business,
 
 1745 J CONVERSION OF HIS INTERPRETER. 139 
 
 in the beginning of the summer of 1744, he was well 
 fitted for his work, in regard to his acquaintance with 
 the Indian and English languages, as well as with the 
 manners of both nations ; and in respect to his desire 
 that the Indians should conform to the manners and 
 customs of the English, and especially to their manner 
 of living. But he seemed to have little or no impres- 
 sion of religion upon his mind, and in that respect was 
 very unfit for his work ; being incapable of understand- 
 ing and communicating to others many things of im- 
 portance, so that I labored under great disadvantages 
 in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an 
 experimental, as well as more doctrinal acquaintance 
 with divine truths ; and, at times, my spirits sunk, and 
 I was much discouraged under this difficulty ; espe- 
 cially when I observed that divine truth made little or 
 no impression upon his mind for many weeks toge- 
 ther. He indeed behaved soberly after I employed 
 him ; although before he had been a hard drinker, and 
 seemed honestly engaged, as far as he was capable, in 
 the performance of his work. Especially he appeared 
 very desirous that the Indians should renounce their 
 heathenish notions and practices, and conform to the 
 customs of the Christian world. But still he seemed 
 to have no concern about his own soul, until he had 
 been with me a considerable time. 
 
 " Near the latter end of July, 1744, 1 preached to an 
 assembly of white people, with more freedom and fer- 
 vency than I could possibly address the Indians with, 
 without their having first obtained a greater measure 
 of doctrinal knowledge. At this time he was present, 
 and was somewhat awakened to a concern for his soul ; 
 so that the next day he discoursed freely with me 
 about his spiritual concern?, and gave me an opportu-
 
 140 LIFE OP BRA1NERD. [Chap. VII 
 
 nity to use further endeavors to fasten the impressions 
 of his perishing state upon his mind. I could plainly 
 perceive, for some time after this, that he addressed 
 the Indians with more concern and fervency than he 
 had formerly done. 
 
 " But these impressions seemed quickly to decline ; 
 and he remained in a great measure careless and se- 
 cure, until some time late in the autumn of the year 
 following; when he fell into a weak and languishing 
 state of body, and continued much disordered for seve- 
 ral weeks together. At this season divine truth took 
 hold of him, and made deep impressions upon his mind. 
 He was brought under great concern for his soul ; and 
 his exercises were not now transient and unsteady, but 
 constant and abiding, so that his mind was burdened 
 from day to day ; and it was now his great inquiry, 
 ' What he should do to be saved ?' This spiritual 
 trouble prevailed, until his sleep in a great measure 
 departed from him, and he had little rest day or night ; 
 but walked about under great pressure of mind, for he 
 was still able to walk, and appeared like another man 
 to his neighbors, who could not but observe his beha- 
 vior with wonder. After he had been some time under 
 this exercise, while he was striving to obtain mercy, 
 he says there seemed to be an impassable mountain. 
 before him. He was pressing toward heaven, as he 
 thought ; but ' his way was hedged up with thorns, so 
 that he could not stir an inch further.' He looked 
 this way, and that way, but could find no way at all. 
 He thought if he could but make his way through 
 these thorns and briers, and climb up the first steep 
 pitch of the mountain, that then there might be hope 
 for him ; but no way or means could he find to ac- 
 complish this. Here he labored for a time, but all in
 
 1745.] CONVERSION OF HIS INTERPRETER. 141 
 
 vain. He saw it was impossible, he says, for him ever 
 to help himself through this insupportable difficulty 
 ' It signified just nothing at all for him to struggle and 
 strive any more.' Here, he says, he gave over striving, 
 and felt that it was a gone case with him as to his own 
 power, and that all his attempts were, and for ever 
 would be, vain and fruitless. Yet he was more calm 
 and composed under this view of things, than he had 
 been while striving to help himself. 
 
 "While he was giving me this account of his exer- 
 cises, I was not without fears that what he related was 
 but the working of his own imagination, and not the 
 effect of any divine illumination of mind. But before 
 I had time to discover my fears, he added, that at this 
 time he felt himself in a miserable and perishing con- 
 dition ; that he saw plainly what he had been doing all 
 his days ; and that he had ' never done one good thing,' 
 as he expressed it. He knew he was not guilty of some 
 wicked actions of which he knew some others guilty. 
 He had not been accustomed to steal, quarrel, and 
 murder ; the latter of which vices are common among 
 the Indians. He likewise knew that he had done many 
 things that were right; he had been kind to his neigh- 
 bors, &c. But still his cry was, that ' he had never (lone 
 one good thing ;' meaning that he had never done any 
 thing from a right principle, and with a right view. 
 1 And now I thought,' said he, ' that I must sink down 
 to hell; that there was no hope for me, because I 
 never could do any thing that was good : and if God 
 let me alone ever so long, and I should try ever so 
 much, still I should do nothing but what is bad.' 
 
 " This further account of his exercises satisfied me 
 that it was not the mere working of his imagination, 
 since he appeared so evidently to die to himself, and
 
 142 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 to be divorced from a dependence upon his own righte- 
 ousness and good deeds, to which mankind in a fallen 
 state are so much attached, and upon which they are 
 so ready to hope for salvation. 
 
 " There was one thing more in his view of things 
 at this time, which was very remarkable. He not only 
 eaw, he says, what a miserable state he himself was in ; 
 but he likewise saw that the world around him, in gen- 
 eral, were in the same perishing circumstances, not- 
 withstanding the profession which many of them made 
 of Christianity, and the hope which they entertained of 
 obtaining everlasting happiness. This he saw clearly, 
 ' as if he was now waked out of sleep, or had a cloud 
 taken from his eyes.' He saw that the life which he 
 had lived was the way to eternal death, that he was 
 now on the brink of endless misery ; and when he 
 looked around he saw multitudes of others, who had 
 lived the same life with himself, persons who had no 
 more goodness than he, and yet dreamed that they 
 were safe enough, as he had formerly done. He was 
 fully persuaded, by their conversation and behavior, 
 that they had never felt their sin and misery, as he 
 now felt his. 
 
 "After he had been for some time in this condition, 
 sensible of the impossibility of helping himself by any 
 thing he could do, or of being delivered by any created 
 arm ; so that he had ' given up all for lost,' as to his 
 own attempts, and was become more calm and com- 
 posed ; then, he says, it was borne in upon his mind, as 
 if it had been audibly spoken to him, ' There is hope, 
 there is hope.' Whereupon his soul seemed to rest, 
 and be in some measure satisfied, though he had no 
 considerable joy. 
 
 "He cannot here remember distinctly any views he
 
 jj* 
 
 1745.] CONVERSION OP HIS INTERPRETER. 143 
 
 had of Christ, or give any clear account of his soul's 
 acceptance of him, which makes his experience appear 
 the more doubtful, and renders it less satisfactory to 
 himself and others than it might be if he could remem- 
 ber distinctly the apprehensions and actings of his 
 mind at this season. But these exercises of soul were 
 attended and followed with a very great change in the 
 man ; so that it might justly be said he was become 
 another man, if not a new man. His conversation and 
 deportment were much altered ; and even the careless 
 world could not but wonder what had befallen him, to 
 make so great a change in his temper, discourse, and 
 behavior. Especially there was a surprising alteration 
 in his public performances. He now addressed the In- 
 dians with admirable fervency, and scarcely knew 
 when to leave off. Sometimes, when I had concluded 
 my discourse and was returning homeward, he would 
 tarry behind to repeat and inculcate what had been 
 spoken. 
 
 " His change is abiding, and his life, so far as I know, 
 unblemished to this day ; though it is now more than 
 six months since he experienced this change ; in which 
 space of time he has been as much exposed to strong 
 drink as possible, in divers places where it has been 
 moving as free as water; and yet has never, that I 
 know of, discovered any hankering desire after it. He 
 seems to have a very considerable experience of spiri- 
 tual exercise, and discourses feelingly of the conflicts 
 and consolations of a real Christian. His heart echoes 
 to the soul-humbling doctrines of grace, and he never 
 appears better pleased than when he hears of the ab 
 solute sovereignty of God, and the salvation of sinners 
 in a way of mere free grace. He has lately had also 
 more satisfaction respecting his own state and has
 
 144 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [.Chap. VII 
 
 been much enlightened and assisted in his work ; so 
 that he has been a great comfort to me. 
 
 (< After a strict observation of his serious and savory 
 conversation, his Christian temper, and unblemished 
 behavior for such a length of time, as well as his ex 
 perience, of which I have given an account ; I think 
 that I have reason to hope that he is 'created anew in 
 Christ Jesus to good works.' His name is MOSES FIN- 
 DA FAOTAURY. He is about fifty years of age, and is 
 pretty well acquainted with the pagan notions and cus- 
 toms of his countrymen ; and so is the better able now 
 to expose them. He has, I am persuaded, already been, 
 and I trust will yet be, a blessing to the other Indians. 
 
 July 23. "Preached to the Indians, but had few 
 hearers: Those who are constantly at home, seem, of 
 late, to be under some impressions of a religious nature. 
 
 July 30. "Discoursed to a number of my people, 
 and gave them some particular advice and direction ; 
 being now about to leave them for the present, in or 
 der to renew my visit to the Indians in New-Jersey. 
 They were very attentive to my discourse, and earnest- 
 ly desirous to know when I designed to return to them 
 again." 
 
 Crossweeksung, (New- Jersey,) August, 1745. 
 
 Aug. 3. "I visited the Indians in these parts in June 
 last, and tarried with them a considerable time, preach- 
 ing almost daily ; at which season God was pleased to 
 pour upon them a spirit of awakening and concern for 
 them souls, and surprisingly to engage their attention 
 to divine truths. I now found them serious, and a num- 
 ber of them under deep concern for an irtterest in 
 Christ. Their convictions of their sinful and perish-
 
 1745.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 145 
 
 ing stale were, in my absence from them, much promo- 
 led by the labors and endeavors of Rev. WILLIAM TEN- 
 KENT ; to whom I had advised them to apply for direc- 
 tion ; and whose house they frequented much while I 
 was gone. I preached to them this day with some 
 view to Rev. 22:17. 'And whosoever will, let him 
 take of the water of life freely;' though I could not 
 pretend to handle the subject methodically among 
 them. The Lord, I am persuaded, enabled me, in a 
 manner somewhat uncommon, to set before them the 
 Lord Jesus Christ as a kind and compassionate Savior, 
 inviting distressed and perishing sinners to accept ever- 
 lasting mercy. A surprising concern soon became ap- 
 parent among them. There were about twenty adult 
 persons together ; many of the Indians at remote pla- 
 ces not having as yet had time to come since my re- 
 turn hither ; and not above two that I could see with 
 dry eyes. 
 
 " Some were much concerned, and discovered vehe- 
 ment longings of soul after Christ, to save them from 
 the misery they felt and feared. 
 
 lord's day, Aug. 4. "Being invited by a neighbor- 
 ing minister to assist in the administration of the Lord's 
 supper, I complied with his request, and took the In- 
 dians along with me ; not only those who were togeth- 
 er the day before, but many more who were coming to 
 hear me ; so that there were nearly fifty in all, old and 
 young. They attended the several discourses of the 
 day; and some of them, who could understand English, 
 were much affected ; and all seemed to have their con- 
 cern in some measure raised. 
 
 "Now a change in their manners began to appear 
 rery visible. In the evening, when they came to sup 
 together they would not taste a morsel until they had 
 
 Brainerd. 10
 
 146 LIFE OF BHAINERO. L C) > a P- VIJ. 
 
 sent to me to come and supplicate a blessing on their 
 food; at which time sundry of them wept; especially 
 when I reminded them how they had in times past eat 
 their feasts in honor to devils, and neglected to thank 
 God for them. 
 
 August 5. "After a sermon had been preached by 
 another minister, I preached, and concluded the public 
 work of the solemnity from John, 7 : 37 ; and in my 
 discourse addressed the Indians in particular, who sat 
 in a part of the house by themselves; at which time 
 one or two of them were struck with deep concern, as 
 they afterward told me, who had been little affected 
 before ; and others had their concern increased to a 
 considerable degree. In the evening, the greater part 
 of them being at the house where I lodged, I discoursed 
 to them, and found them universally engaged about 
 their soul's concerns; inquiring 'what they should do 
 to be saved.' All their conversation among themselves 
 turned upon religious matters, in which they were 
 assisted by my Interpreter, who was with them day 
 and night. 
 
 " This day there was one woman, who had been 
 much concerned for her soul ever since she first heard 
 me preach in June last, who obtained comfort, I trust, 
 solid and well grounded. She seemed to be filled with 
 love to Christ. At the same time she behaved humbly 
 and tenderly, and appeared afraid of nothing so much 
 as of offending and grieving him whom her soul loved. 
 
 Aug. 6. " In the morning I discoursed to the In- 
 dians at the house where we lodged. Many of them 
 were much affected, and appeared surprisingly tender,- 
 so that a few words about the concerns of their souls 
 would cause the tears to flow freely, and produce many 
 sobs and groans. In the afternoon they being returned
 
 1745.] OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 147 
 
 to the place where I had usually preached among 
 them, I again discoursed to them there. There were 
 about fifty-jive persons in all ; about forty that were 
 capable of attending Divine service with understand- 
 ing. I insisted on 1 John, 4:10. ' Herein" is love. 5 
 &c. They seemed eager of hearing ; but there ap 
 peared nothing very remarkable, except their atten- 
 tion, till near the close of my discourse ; and then 
 Divine truth was attended with a surprising influence, 
 and produced a great concern among them. There 
 were scarcely three in forty who could refrain from 
 tears and bitter cries. They all as one seemed in an 
 agony of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; and the 
 more I discoursed of the love and compassion of God 
 in sending his Son to suffer for the sins of men ; and 
 the more I invited them to come and partake of his 
 love ; the more their distress was aggravated, because 
 they felt themselves unable to come. It was surprising 
 to see how their hearts seemed to be pierced with the 
 tender and melting invitations of the Gospel, when 
 there was not a word of terror spoken to them. 
 
 " There were this day two persons who obtained 
 relief and comfort; which, when I came to discourse 
 with them particularly, appeared solid, rational, and 
 scriptural. After I had inquired into the grounds of 
 their comfort, and said many things which I thought 
 proper to them ; I asked them what they wanted that 
 God should do farther for them? They replied, ' they 
 wanted Christ should wipe their hearts quite clean,' 
 &c. So surprising were now the doings of the Lord, 
 that I can say no less of this day, and I need say no 
 more of it, than that the arm of the Lord was power- 
 fully and marvellously revealed in it. 
 
 Aug. 7. " Preached to the Indians from Isaiah, 53:
 
 148 UFE OF BRAINBRD. [Chap. Vll. 
 
 3-10. There was a remarkable influence attending 
 the word, and great concern in the assembly ; but 
 scarcely equal to what appeared the day before , that 
 is, not quite so universal. However, most were much 
 affected, and many in great distress for their souls ; 
 and some few could neither go nor stand, but lay flat 
 on the ground, as if pierced at heart, crying incessantly 
 for mercy. Several were newly awakened ; and it 
 was remarkable that as fast as they came from remote 
 places round about, the Spirit of God seemed to seize 
 them with concern for their souls. After public ser- 
 vice was concluded I found two persons more who 
 had newly met with comfort, of whom I had good 
 hopes ; and a third of whom I could not but entertain 
 some hopes, whose case did not appear so clear as the 
 others ; so that there were now six in all, who had got 
 some relief from their spiritual distresses ; and five 
 whose experience appeared very clear and satisfactory. 
 It is worthy of remark, that those who obtained com- 
 fort first were in general deeply affected with concern 
 for their souls when I preached to them in June last. 
 Aug. 8. " In the afternoon I preached to the In- 
 dians, their number was now about sixty-five persons ; 
 men, women, and children. I discoursed upon Luke 
 14 : 16-23, and was favored with uncommon freedom. 
 There was much visible concern among them while I 
 was discoursing publicly; but afterward, when I spoke 
 to one and another more particularly, whom I per- 
 ceived under much concern, the power of God seemed 
 to descend upon the assembly ' like a miglity rushing 
 tw'ncZ,' and with an astonishing energy bore down all 
 before it. I stood amazed at the influence which seized 
 the audience almost universally ; and could compare 
 it to nothing more aptly than the irresistible force of a
 
 1745.] OUTPODRINQ OF THE SPIRIT. 149 
 
 mighty torrent, or swelling deluge, that with its insup- 
 portable weight and pressure bears down and sweeps 
 before it whatever is in its way. Almost all persons 
 of all ages were bowed down with concern together, 
 and scarcely one was able to withstand the shock of 
 this surprising operation. Old men and women who 
 had been drunken wretches for many years, and some 
 little children not more than six or seven years of age, 
 appeared in distress for their souls, as well as persons 
 of middle age. It was apparent that these children, 
 some of them at least, were not merely frightened with 
 seeing the general concern, but were made sensible of 
 their danger, the badness of their hearts, and their 
 misery without Christ, as some of them expressed it. 
 The most stubborn hearts were now obliged to bow. 
 A principal man among the Indians, who before was 
 most secure and self-righteous, and thought his state 
 good, because he knew more than the generality of the 
 Indians had formerly done ; and who with a great de- 
 gree of confidence the day before told me ' he had 
 been a Christian more than ten years ;' was now brought 
 under solemn concern for his sou], and wept bitterly. 
 Another man advanced in years, who had been a mur- 
 derer, apaivaw or conjurer, and a notorious drunkard, 
 was likewise brought now to cry for mercy with ma- 
 ny tears, and to complain much that he could be no 
 more concerned, when he saw his danger so very great. 
 " They were almost universally praying and crying 
 for mercy in every part of the house, and many out of 
 doors ; and numbers could neither go nor stand. 
 Their concern was so great, each one for himself, that 
 none seemed to take any notice of those about them, 
 but each prayed freely for himself. I am led to think 
 thov were, to their own apprehensions, as much retired
 
 150 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 as if they had been individually by themselves, in the 
 thickest desert ; or I believe rather that they thought 
 about nothing but themselves, and their own state, 
 and so were every one praying apart, although all to- 
 gether. It seemed to me that there was now an exact 
 fulfilment of that prophecy, Zech. 12 : 10, 11, 12 ; for 
 there was now ' a great mourning, like the mourning 
 of Hadadrimmon ;' and each seemed to ' mourn 
 apart.' Methought this had a near resemblance to (he 
 day of God's power, mentioned in Josh. 10 : 14; for 1 
 must say I never'saw any day like it, in all respects : 
 it was a day wherein I am persuaded the Lord did 
 much to destroy the kingdom of darkness among this 
 people. 
 
 " This concern, in general, was most rational and 
 just. Those who had been awakened any considerable 
 time, complained more especially of the badness of 
 their hearts; and those who were newly awakened, of 
 the badness of their lives and actions ; and all were 
 afraid of the anger of God, and of everlasting misery 
 as the desert of their sins. Some of the white people 
 who came out of curiosity to hear what ' this babbler 
 would say' to the poor ignorant Indians, were much 
 awakened ; and some appeared to be wounded with a 
 view of their perishing state. Those who had lately 
 obtained relief, were filled with comfort at this season 
 They appeared calm and composed, and seemed to 
 rejoice in Christ Jesus. Some of them took their dis- 
 tressed friends by the hand, telling them of the good 
 ness of Christ, and the comfort that is to be enjoyed in 
 him ; and thence invited them to come and give up 
 their hearts to him. I could observe some of them, in 
 the most honest and unaffected manner, without any 
 design of being taken notice of, lifting up their eyes
 
 1745.J OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 151 
 
 to heaven, as if crying for mercy, while they saw the 
 distress of the poor souls around them. There was 
 one remarkable instance of awakening this day which 
 I cannot fail to notice here. A young Indian woman, 
 who, I believe, never knew before that she had a soul, 
 nor ever thought of any such thing, hearing that there 
 was something strange among the Indians, came, it 
 seems, to see what was the matter. In her way to 
 the Indians she called at my lodgings ; and when I 
 told her that I designed presently to preach to the In- 
 dians, laughed, and seemed to mock ; but went however 
 to them. I had not proceeded far in my public discourse 
 before she felt effectually that she had a soul; and be- 
 fore I had concluded my discourse was so convinced 
 of her sin and misery, and so distressed with concern 
 for her soul's salvation, that she seemed like one 
 pierced through with a dart, and cried out incessantly. 
 She could neither go nor stand, nor sit on her seat 
 without being held up. After public service was over 
 she lay flat on the ground, praying earnestly, and 
 would take no notice of, nor give any answer to any 
 who spoke to her. I hearkened to what she said, and 
 perceived the burden of her prayer to be, ' Guttum- 
 maukalummeh wechaumeh kmeleh Nolafi,' i. e. ' Have 
 mercy on me, and help me to give you my heart.' Thus 
 she continued praying incessantly for many hours 
 together. This was indeed a surprising day of God's 
 power, and seemed enough to convince an Atheist of 
 the truth, importance, and power of God's word. 
 
 Augf. 9. " Spent almost the whole day with the In- 
 dians the former part of it in discoursing to many of 
 them privately, and especially to some who had lately 
 received comfort, and endeavoring to inquire into the 
 grounds of it, as well as to give them some proper in- 
 structions, cautions and directions.
 
 152 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [.Chap. VII. 
 
 "In the afternoon discoursed to them publicly. 
 There were now present about seventy persons, old 
 and young. I opened and applied the parable of the 
 sower, Matt. 13. Was enabled to discourse with much 
 plainness, and found afterward that this discourse was 
 very instructive to them. There were many tears 
 among them while I was discoursing publicly, but no 
 considerable cry ; yet some were much affected with a 
 few words spoken from Matt. 11 : 28, 'Come unto me 
 all ye that labor,' &c. with which I concluded my dis- 
 course. But, while I was discoursing near night to 
 two or three of the awakened persons, a Divine in- 
 fluence seemed to attend what was spoken to them in 
 a powerful manner, which caused the persons to cry 
 out in anguish of soul, although I spoke not a word of 
 terror, but on the contrary, set before them the fullness 
 and all-sufficiency of Christ's merits, and his willing- 
 ness to save all that come to him, and thereupon pressed 
 them to come without delay. The cry of these was soon 
 heard by others, who, though scattered before, imme- 
 diately gathered round. I then proceeded in the same 
 strain of gospel invitation, till they were all melted 
 into tears and cries except two or three ; and seemed 
 in the greatest distress to find and secure an interest in 
 the great Redeemer. Some who had little more than 
 a ruffle made in their passions the day before, seemed 
 now to be deeply affected and wounded at heart ; and 
 the concern in general appeared nearly as prevalent as 
 the day before. There was indeed a very great mount- 
 ing among them, and yet every one seemed to mourn 
 apart. For so great was their concern, that almost 
 every one was praying and crying for himself, as if 
 none had been near. ' Gutlummauhalummeh ; Gut- 
 tummauhalummehj i. e. ' Have mercy upon vie hove
 
 1745.] OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 153 
 
 mercy upon me,' was the common cry. It was very 
 affecting to see the poor Indians, who the other day 
 were hallooing and yelling in their idolatrous feasts 
 and drunken frolics, now crying to God with such im- 
 portunity for an interest in his dear Son ! Found two 
 or three persons who, I had reason to hope, had taken 
 comfort upon good grounds since the evening before ; 
 and these, with others who had obtained comfort, were 
 together, and seemed to rejoice much that God was 
 carrying on his work with such power upon others. 
 
 August 10. " Rode to the Indians, and began to dis- 
 course more privately to those who had obtained com- 
 fort and satisfaction ; endeavoring to instruct, direct, 
 caution, and comfort them. But others, being eager 
 of hearing every word which related to spiritual con- 
 cerns, soon came together one after another ; and, when 
 I had discoursed to the young converts more than half 
 an hour, they seemed much melted with divine things, 
 and earnestly desirous to be with Christ. I told them 
 of the godly soul's perfect purity and full enjoyment 
 of Christ, immediately upon its separation from the 
 body ; and that it would be for ever inconceivably more 
 happy than they had ever been for any short space of 
 tune, when Christ seemed near to them in prayer or 
 other duties. That I might make way for speaking of 
 the resurrection of the body, and thence of the com- 
 plete blessedness of the man ; I said, ' But perhaps 
 some of you will say, I love my body as well as my 
 soul, and I cannot bear to think that my body shall lie 
 dead, if my soul is happy.' To which they all cheer- 
 fully replied, ' Muttoh, Multoh? before I had opportu- 
 nity to prosecute what I designed respecting the resur- 
 rection ; i. e. ' 2Vo, No? They did not regard their bo- 
 dies, if their souls might be with Christ. Then they
 
 154 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 appeared willing to be absent from the body, that they 
 might be present with the Lord. 
 
 " When I had spent some time with them I tui ned 
 to the other Indians, and spoke to them from Luke, 
 19 : 10. ' For the Son of man is come to seek and to 
 save that which was lost. I had not discoursed long 
 before their concern rose to a great degree, and the 
 house was filled with cries and groans. When I in- 
 sisted on the compassion and care of the Lord Jesus 
 Christ for those that were lost, who thought themselves 
 undone, and could find no way of escape ; this melted 
 them down the more, and aggravated their distress, 
 that they could not find and come to so kind a Savior. 
 
 " Sundry persons, who before had been slightly 
 awakened, were now deeply wounded with a sense of 
 their sin and misery. One man in particular, who was 
 never before awakened, was now made to feel that ' the 
 word of the Lord was quick and powerful, sharper 
 than any two-edged sword.' He seemed to be pierced 
 at heart with distress, and his concern appeared ra- 
 tional and scriptural, for he said that ' all the wicked- 
 ness of his past life was brought fresh to his remem- 
 brance, and that he saw all the vile actions he had done 
 formerly, as if done but yesterday.' 
 
 " Found one who had newly received comfort, after 
 pressing distress from day to day. Could not but re- 
 joice and admire the divine goodness in what appeared 
 this day. There seems to be some good done by every 
 discourse ; some newly awakened every day, and some 
 comforted. It was refreshing to observe the conduct 
 of those who obtained comfort : while others were dis- 
 tressed with fear and concern, they were lifting up 
 their hearts to God for them. 
 
 day, Aug. 11. " Discoursed in the forenoon
 
 1745. J ODTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 155 
 
 from the parable of the Prodigal Son. Luke, 15. Ob- 
 served no such remarkable effect of the word upon the 
 assembly as in days past. There were numbers of 
 careless spectators from the white people, of various 
 characters. In the afternoon I discoursed upon a part 
 of Peter's sermon. Acts, 2. And at the close of my 
 discourse to the Indians, made an address to the white 
 people ; and divine truth seemed then to be attended 
 with power, both to English and Indians. Several of 
 the white heathen were awakened, and could not 
 longer be idle spectators ; but found they had souls to 
 save or lose as well as the Indians ; and a great concern 
 spread through the whole assembly ; so that this also 
 appeared to be a day of God's power, especially to- 
 ward the conclusion of it, although the influence at- 
 tending the word seemed scarcely so powerful now as 
 in some days past. 
 
 " The number of Indians, old and young, was now 
 upward of seventy ; and one or two were newly awak- 
 ened this day who never had appeared to be moved 
 with concern for their souls before. Those who had 
 obtained relief and comfort, and had given hopeful 
 evidences of having passed a saving change, appeared 
 humble and devout, and behaved in an agreeable and 
 Christian-like manner. I was refreshed to see the ten- 
 derness of conscience manifest in some of them ; one 
 instance of which I cannot but notice. Perceiving one 
 of them very sorrowful in the morning, I inquired into 
 the cause of her sorrow, and found the difficulty was, 
 that she had been angry with her child the evening 
 before, and was now exercised with fears lest her anger 
 had been inordinate and sinful ; which so grieved her 
 that she awoke and began to sob before day light, and 
 continued weeping for several hours together.
 
 156 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VJ1. 
 
 August 14. " Spent the day with the Indians. There 
 was one of them who had some time since put away 
 his wife, as is common among them, and taken another 
 woman ; and being now brought under some serious 
 impressions, was much concerned about that affair in 
 particular, and seemed fully convinced of the wicked- 
 ness of the practice, and earnestly desirous to know 
 what God would have him to do in his present circum- 
 stances. When the law of God respecting marriage 
 had been opened to them, and the cause of his leaving 
 his wife inquired into, and when it appeared that she 
 had given him no just occasion, by unchastity, to de- 
 sert her, and that she was willing to forgive his past 
 misconduct and to live peaceably with him for the fu- 
 ture, and that she, moreover, insisted on it as her right 
 to live with him ; he was then told that it was his in- 
 dispensable duty to renounce the woman whom he 
 had last taken, and receive the other, who was his 
 proper wife, and live peaceably with her during life. 
 With this he readily and cheerfully complied ; and 
 thereupon publicly renounced the woman he had last 
 taken, and promised to live with and be kind to his 
 wife during life ; she also promising the same to him. 
 Here appeared a clear demonstration of the power of 
 God's word upon their hearts. I suppose a few weeks 
 oefore the whole world could not have persuaded this 
 man to a compliance with Christian rules in this affair. 
 
 " I was not without fears that this proceeding might 
 be like putting ' new wine into old bottles ;' and that 
 some might be prejudiced against Christianity, when 
 they saw the demands made by it. But the man being 
 much concerned about the matter, the determination 
 of it could be deferred no longer ; and it seemed to have 
 a good, rather than an ill effect among the Indians, who
 
 1745.J OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. ]57 
 
 generally owned that the laws of Christ were good and 
 right respecting the affairs of marriage. In the after- 
 noon I preached to them from the apostle's discourse 
 to Cornelius. Acts, 10 : 34. There appeared some af- 
 fectionate concern among them, though not equal to 
 what appeared in several of the former days. They 
 still attended and heard as for their lives, and the 
 Lord's work seemed still to be promoted and propa- 
 gated among them. 
 
 August 15." Preached from Luke, 4 : 16-21. The 
 word was attended with power upon the hearts of the 
 hearers. There was much concern, many tears, and 
 affecting cries among them ; and some were deeply 
 wounded and distressed for their souls. There were 
 some newly awakened who came but this week, and 
 convictions seemed to be promoted in others. Those 
 who had received comfort, were likewise refreshed and 
 strengthened ; and the work of grace appeared to ad- 
 vance in all respects. The passions of the congrega- 
 tion in general were not so much moved as in some 
 days past ; but their hearts seemed as solemnly and deep- 
 ly affected with divine truth as ever, at least in many 
 instances, although the concern did not seem so uni- 
 versal, and to reach every individual in such a manner 
 as it appeared to do some days before. 
 
 August. 16. " Spent considerable time in convers- 
 ing with the Indians. Found one who had got relief 
 and comfort after pressing concern ; and could not but 
 hope, when I came to discourse particularly with her, 
 that her comfort was 01 the right kind. In the after- 
 noon I preached to them from John, 6 : 26-34. To- 
 ward the close of my discourse divine truth was at- 
 tended with considerable power upon the audience,
 
 158 LIFE OP BRAINEHD. (_Chup. Vll. 
 
 and more especially after public service was over, when 
 I particularly addressed several distressed persons. 
 
 " There was a great concern for their souls spread 
 pretty generally among them ; but especially there 
 were two persons newly awakened to a sense of their 
 sin and misery ; one of whom was lately come, and 
 the other had all along been very attentive and desirous 
 of being awakened, but could never before have any 
 lively view of her perishing state. Now her concern 
 and spiritual distress was such, that I thought I had 
 never seen any more pressing. A number of old men 
 were also in distress for their souls ; so that they could 
 not refrain from weeping and crying aloud ; and their 
 bitter groans were the most convincing as well as af- 
 fecting evidences of the reality and depth of their in- 
 ward anguish. God is powerfully at work among 
 them. True and genuine convictions of sin are daily 
 promoted in many instances ; and some are newly 
 awakened from time to time ; although some few, who 
 felt a commotion in their passions in days past, seem 
 now to discover that their hearts were never duly af- 
 fected. I never saw the work of God appear so inde- 
 pendent of means as at this time. I discoursed to the 
 people, and spake what I suppose had a proper ten- 
 dency to promote convictions ; but God's manner of 
 working upon them seemed so entirely supernatural, 
 and above means, that I could scarcely believe he used 
 me as an instrument, or what I spake as means of car- 
 rying on his work. For it appeared, as I thought, to 
 have no connection with or dependence on means in 
 any respect. Though I could not but continue to use 
 the means, which I thought proper for the promotion 
 of the work, yet God seemed, as I apprehended, to 
 work entirely without them. I seemed to do nothing,
 
 1745.] OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 159 
 
 and indeed to have nothing to do, but to ' stand still, 
 and see the salvation of God j' and found myself obliged 
 and delighted to say, ' Not unto us,' not unto instru- 
 ments and means, ' but to thy name be glory.' God ap- 
 peared to work entirely alone, and 1 saw no room to 
 attribute any part of this work to any created arm. 
 
 Aug. 17. " Spent much time in private conferences 
 with the Indians. Found one who had newly obtained 
 relief and comfort, after a long season of spiritual 
 trouble and distress; he having been one of my 
 hearers at the Forks of Delaware for more than a year, 
 and now having followed me here under deep con- 
 cern for his soul ; and had abundant reason to hope 
 that his comfort was well grounded, and truly divine. 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 18. " Preached in the forenoon to 
 a mixed assembly of white people, of divers denomina- 
 tions. Afterward preached to the Indians, from John 
 6 : 35-40. There was considerable concern visible 
 among them, though not equal to what has frequently 
 appeared of late. 
 
 Aug. 19. " Preached from Isaiah, 55 : 1. ' Ho every 
 one that thirsteth.' Divine truth was attended with 
 power upon those who had received comfort, and 
 others also. The former sweetly melted and refreshed 
 with divine invitations ; the latter much concerned for 
 their souls, that they might obtain an interest in these 
 glorious gospel provisions which were set before them. 
 There were numbers of poor impotent souls that 
 waited at the pool for healing ; and the angel seemed, 
 as at other times of late, to trouble the waters, so that 
 there was yet a most desirable and comfortable pros- 
 pect of the spiritual recovery of diseased perishing 
 sinners. 
 
 Ang 23. " Spent some time with the Indians in pri-
 
 160 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII 
 
 vate discourse ; and afterward preached to them from 
 John, 6 : 44-50. There was, as has been usual, a great 
 attention, and some affection among them. Several 
 appeared deeply concerned for their souls, and could 
 not but express their inward anguish by tears and cries. 
 But the amazing divine influence, which has been so 
 powerfully among them in general, seems at present in 
 some degree abated : at least in regard to its univer- 
 sality ; though many who have obtained no special 
 comfort still retain deep impressions of divine things 
 
 Aug. 24. " Spent the forenoon in discoursing to 
 some of the Indians in reference to their publicly pro- 
 fessing Christ. Numbers of ihem seemed to be filled 
 with love to God, delighted with the thoughts of giving 
 themselves up to him, and melted and refreshed with 
 the hopes of enjoying the blessed Redeemer. After- 
 ward I discoursed publicly from 1 Thess. 4 : 13-17. 
 There was a solemn attention, and some visible con- 
 cern and affection in the time of public service; 
 which was afterward increased by some further exhor- 
 tations given to them to come to Christ, and give up 
 their hearts to him. that they might be fitted to ' ascend 
 up and meet him in the air,' when he shall 'descend 
 with a shout, and the voice of the archangel. ' 
 
 " There were several Indians newly come, who 
 thought their state good, and themselves happy, be- 
 cause they had sometimes lived with the white people 
 under gospel light, had learned to read, were civil, &c., 
 although they appeared utter strangers to their own 
 hearts, and altogether unacquainted, with the power of 
 religion, as well as with the doctrines of grace. With 
 these I discoursed particularly, after public worship ; 
 and was surprised to see their self-righteous disposi- 
 tion, their strong attachment to the covenant of works
 
 1745.J OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 161 
 
 for salvation, and the high value they put upon their 
 supposed attainments. Yet after much discourse, one 
 appeared in a measure convinced that 'by the deeds of 
 the law no flesh living can be justified;' and wept bit- 
 terly, inquiring ' what he must do to be saved.' 
 
 " This was very comfortable to others, who had 
 gained some experimental knowledge of their own 
 hearts ; for before they were grieved with the conver- 
 sation and conduct of these new comers, who boasted 
 of their knowledge, and thought well of themselves, 
 but evidently discovered to those who had any expe- 
 rience of divine truth, that they knew nothing of their 
 own hearts. 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 25. " Preached in the forenoon 
 from Luke, 15 : 3-7. A number of white people being 
 present, I made an address to them at the close of my 
 discourse to the Indians ; but could not so much as 
 keep them orderly ; for scores of them kept walking 
 and gazing about, and behaved more indecently than 
 any Indians I have ever addressed. A view of their 
 abusive conduct so sunk my spirits, that I could 
 scarcely go on with my work. 
 
 " In the afternoon I discoursed from Rev. 3 : 20; at 
 which time fifteen Indians made a public profession 
 of their faith. After the crowd of spectators was gone 
 I called them together, and discoursed to them in par- 
 ticular; at the same time inviting others to attend. I 
 reminded them of the solemn obligations they were 
 now under to live to God; warned them of the evil 
 and dreadful consequences of careless living, espe- 
 cially after their public profession of Christianity; 
 gave them directions for future conduct ; and encou- 
 raged them to watchfulness and devotion, by setting 
 
 Brainerrl. 11
 
 162 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 before them the comfort and happy conclusion of a 
 religious life. 
 
 "This was a desirable and sweet season indeed! 
 Their hearts were engaged and cheerful in duty ; and 
 they rejoiced that they had, in a public and solemn 
 manner, dedicated themselves to God. Love seemed 
 to reign among them ! They took each other by the hand 
 with tenderness and affection, as if their hearts were 
 knit together, while I was discoursing lo them ; and 
 all their deportment toward each other was such, that 
 a serious spectator might justly be excited to cry out 
 with admiration, ' Behold how they love one another.' 
 Numbers of the other Indians, on seeing and hearing 
 these things, were much affected, and wept bitterly ; 
 longing to be partakers of the same joy and comfort 
 which these discovered by their very countenances as 
 well as conduct. 
 
 Aug. 26. " Preached to my people from John, 6 
 51-55. After I had discoursed some time, I addressed 
 them in particular who entertained hopes that they 
 were passed from death unto life. Opened to them the 
 persevering nature of those consolations which Christ 
 gives his people, and which I trusted he had bestowed 
 upon some in that assembly ; showed them that such 
 have already the beginnings of eternal life, and that 
 their heaven shall speedily be completed. 
 
 " I no sooner began to discourse in this strain than 
 the dear Christians in the congregation began to be 
 melted with affection to, and desire of the enjoyment 
 of Christ, and of a state of perfect purity. They wept 
 affectionately, yet joyfully ; and their tears and sobs 
 discovered brokenness of heart, and yet were attended 
 with real comfort and sweetness It was a tender, af- 
 fectionate, humble and delightful meeting, and ap-
 
 1745.] OUTPOURING OF THE SPVRIT. 163 
 
 peared to be the genuine effect of a spirit of adoption, 
 and very far from that spirit of bondage under which 
 they not long since labored. The influence seemed 
 to spread from these through the whole assembly; 
 and there quickly appeared a wonderful concern 
 among them. Many, who had not yet found Christ as an 
 all-sufficient Savior, were surprisingly engaged in seek- 
 ing after him. It was indeed a lovely and very inte- 
 resting assembly. Their number was now about 
 rrinetyjhti persons, old and young, and almost all af- 
 fected with joy in Christ Jesus, or with the utmost 
 concern to obtain an interest in him. 
 
 "Being now convinced that it was my duty to take 
 a journey far back to the Indians on the Susquehanna, 
 it being now a proper season of the year to find them 
 generally at home; after having spent some hours in 
 public and private discourse with my people, I told 
 them that I must now leave them for the present, and 
 go to their brethren far remote, and preach to them ; 
 that I wanted the Spirit of God should go with me, 
 without whom nothing could be done to any good pur- 
 pose among the Indians as they themselves had op- 
 portunity to see and observe by the barrenness of our 
 meetings at some times, when there was much pains 
 taken to affect and awaken sinners, and yet to little or 
 no purposejand asked them if they could not be wil- 
 ling to spend the remainder of the day in prayer for 
 me, that God would go with me, and succeed my en- 
 deavors for the conversion of these poor souls. They 
 cheerfully complied with the motion, and soon after I 
 left them, the sun being about an hour and a half high, 
 they began and continued praying till break of day, or 
 very near ; never mistrusting, as they tell me, till they 
 went out and viewed the stars, and saw the morning
 
 164 L1KK OF BHALNERU. [(/hap. VI L 
 
 star a considerable height, that it was later than bed 
 time. Thus eager and unwearied were they in theii 
 devotions ! A remarkable night it was ; attended, as my 
 Interpreter tells me, with a powerful influence upon 
 those who were yet under concern, as well as those 
 who had received comfort. There were, I trust, thi& 
 day, two distressed souls brought to the enjoyment ol 
 .solid comfort in Him in whom the weary find rest. It 
 was likewise remarkable, that this day an old Indian, 
 who had all his days been an idolater, was brought to 
 give up his rattles, which they use for music in their 
 idolatrous feasts and dances, to the other Indians, who 
 quickly destroyed them. This was done without any 
 interference of mine, I having not spoken to him about 
 it, so that it seemed to be nothing but the power of 
 God's word, without any particular application to thi? 
 sin, that produced this effect. Thus God has begun ; 
 thus he has hitherto surprisingly carried on a work of 
 grace among these Indians. May the glory be ascribed 
 to Him who is the sole author of it." 
 
 Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania, Sept. 1745. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 1 " Preached to the Indians from 
 Luke, 11 : 16-23. The word appeared to be attended 
 with some power, and caused some tears in the assem- 
 bly. Afterward preached to a number of white peo- 
 ple present, and observed many of them in tears; ard 
 some who had formerly been as careless and uncon- 
 cerned about religion, perhaps, as the Indians. To- 
 ward night discoursed to the Indians again, and per~ 
 ceived a greater attention, and more visible concern 
 among them than has been usual in these parts. 
 
 Sept. 3. "Preached to the Indians from Isaiah, 52: 
 3-6. The Divine presence seemed to be in the midst
 
 1745.] AT FORKS OF DELAWARE. 165 
 
 of the assembly, and a considerable concern spread 
 among them. Sundry persons seemed to be awakened ; 
 among whom were two stupid creatures, whom I could 
 scarce ever before keep awake while I was discoursing 
 to them. I could not but rejoice at this appearance of 
 things ; although at the same time I could not but fear, 
 lest the concern which they at present manifested 
 might prove like a morninf cloud, as something of that 
 nature had formerly done in these parts. 
 
 Sept. 5. " Discoursed to the Indians from the para- 
 ble of the sower. Afterward I conversed particularly 
 with a number of persons ; which occasioned them to 
 weep, and even to cry out in an affecting manner, and 
 seized others with surprise and concern. 1 doubt not 
 but that a divine power accompanied what was then 
 spoken. Several of these persons had been with me 
 to Crossweeksung, and there had seen, and some of 
 them, I trust felt, the power of God's word in an affect- 
 ing and saving manner. 1 asked one of them, who 
 had obtained comfort, and given hopeful evidence of 
 being truly religious, ' Why he now cried ?' He re- 
 plied, ' When he thought how Christ was slain like a 
 lamb, and spilt his blood for sinners, he could not help 
 crying when he was alone ;' and thereupon burst into 
 tears and cried again. I then asked his wife, who had 
 likewise been abundantly comforted, why she cried? 
 She answered, ' that she was grieved that the Indians 
 here would not come to Christ, as well as those at 
 Crossweeksung.' I asked her if she found a heart to 
 pray for them, and whether Christ had seemed to be 
 near her of late in prayer, as in times past, which is 
 my usual method of expressing a sense of the divine 
 presence. She replied, ' Yes, he had been near to her, 
 ind at times when she had been praying alone, her
 
 J66 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 heart loved to pray so that she could not bear to leave 
 the place, but wanted to stay and pray longer.' 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 8. " Discoursed to the Indians in 
 the afternoon from Acts, 2 : 36-39. The word of God 
 at this time seemed to fall with weight and influence 
 upon them. There were but few present ; but most 
 that were, were in tears, and several cried out in dis- 
 tressing concern for their souls. There was one man 
 considerably awakened, who never before discovered 
 any concern for his soul. There appeared a remarka- 
 ble work of the Divine Spirit among them generally, 
 not unlike what has been of late at Crossweeksung. 
 It seemed as if the divine influence had spread thence 
 to this place, although something of it appeared here 
 before in the awakening of my interpreter, his wife, 
 and some few others. Several of the careless white 
 people now present were awakened, or at least startled, 
 seeing the power of God so prevalent among the In- 
 dians. I then made a particular address to them, which 
 seemed to make some impression upon them, and ex- 
 cite some affection in them. 
 
 " There are some Indians in these parts who have 
 always refused to hear me preach, and have been en- 
 raged against those who have attended on my preach- 
 ing. But of late thej r are more bitter than ever; 
 scoffing at Christianity, and sometimes asking my 
 hearers ' How often they have cried,' and ' whether 
 they have not now cried enough to do their turn,' &c. 
 So that they have already trial of cruel mockings. 
 
 Sept. 9. " Left the Indians at the Forks ol Dela- 
 ware, and set out on a journey toward Susquehanna 
 river, directing my course toward the Indian town 
 more than an hundred and twenty miles westward 
 from the Forks. Traveled about fifteen miles, and 
 there lodged.
 
 1745.] ON THE SUSQUEHANNA. 167 
 
 Shaumoltingi Sept. 1745. 
 
 Sept. 13. After having lodged out three nights, 
 arrived at the Indian town I aimed at, on the Susque- 
 hanna, called Shaumoking-; one of the places, and the 
 largest of them, which I visited in May last. I was 
 kindly received, and entertained by the Indians ; but 
 had little satisfaction by reason of the heathenish 
 dance and revel they then held in the house where I 
 was obliged to lodge ; which I could not suppress, 
 though I often entreated them to desist, for the sake 
 of one of their own friends, who was then sick in the 
 house, and whose disorder was much aggravated by 
 the noise. Alas ! how destitute of natural affection 
 are these poor uncultivated pagans ! although they 
 seem somewhat kind in their own way. Of a truth 
 the dark corners of the earth are full of the habitations 
 of cruelty. This town, as I observed in my Diary of 
 May last, lies partly on the east side of the river, partly 
 on the west, and partly on a large island in it, and 
 contains upward of fifty houses, and nearly three 
 hundred persons, though I never saw much more than 
 half that number in it. They are of three different 
 tribes of Indians, speaking three languages wholly un- 
 intelligible to each other. About one half of its in- 
 habitants are Ddawares, the others called Senekas 
 and Tutelas. The Indians of this place are accounted 
 the most drunken, mischievous, and ruffianlike fellows 
 of any in these parts; and Satan seems to have his seat 
 in this town in an eminent manner. 
 
 Sept. 14. " Visited the Delaware King, who was 
 supposed to be at the point of death when I was here 
 in May last, but was now recovered ; discoursed with 
 him and others respecting Christianity ; spent the after- 
 noon with them, and had more encouragement than J
 
 168 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. Vll. 
 
 expected. The king appeared kindly disposed, and 
 willing to be instructed. This gave me some encou- 
 ragement that God would open an effectual door for 
 my preaching the Gospel here, and set up his kingdom 
 in this place. This was a support and refreshment to 
 me in the wilderness, and rendered my solitary cirr 
 cumstances comfortable and pleasant. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 15. " Visited the chief of the 
 Delawares again; was kindly received by him, and 
 discoursed to the Indians in the afternoon. Still en- 
 tertained hopes that God would open their hearts to 
 receive the Gospel, though many of them in the place 
 were so drunk from day to day that I could get no 
 opportunity to speak to them. Toward night dis- 
 coursed with one who understood the languages of the 
 Six Nations, as they are usually called, who discovered 
 an inclination to hearken to Christianity, which gave 
 me some hope that the Gospel might hereafter be sent 
 to those nations far remote. 
 
 Sept. 16. " Spent the forenoon with the Indians, 
 endeavoring to instruct them from house to house, and 
 to engage them, as far as I could, to be friendly to 
 Christianity. Toward night went to one part of the 
 town where they were sober, got together near fifty 
 of them, and discoursed to them, having first obtained 
 the king's cheerful consent. There was a surprising 
 attention among them, and they manifested a considera- 
 ble desire of being further instructed. There were also 
 one or two that seemed to be touched with some con- 
 cern for their souls, who appeared well pleased with 
 some conversation in private after I had concluded my 
 public discourse to them. 
 
 " My spirits were much refreshed with this appear- 
 ance of things, and I could not but return with my
 
 1745.J ON THE SUSftUEHANNA. 10U 
 
 interpreter, having no other companion in this jour- 
 ney to my poor hard lodgings, rejoicing in hopes that 
 God designed to set up his kingdom here, where satan 
 now reigns in the most eminent manner; and found 
 uncommon freedom in addressing the throne of grace 
 for the accomplishment of so great and glorious a work. 
 Sept. 17. " Spent the forenoon in visiting and dis- 
 coursing to the Indians. About noon left Shaumoking 
 (most of the Indians going out this day on their hunting 
 design) and traveled down the river south-westward. 
 
 Juncauta, Sept. 1745. 
 
 Sept. 19. " Visited an Indian town, called Juncaiita, 
 situate on an island in the Susquehanna. Was much 
 discouraged with the temper and behavior of the In- 
 dians here ; although they appeared friendly when I 
 was with them the last spring, and then gave me en- 
 couragement to come and see them again. But they 
 now seemed resolved to retain their pagan notions, and 
 persist in their idolatrous practices. 
 
 September 20.-^" Visited the Indians again at Jun- 
 cauta island, and found them almost universally very 
 busy in making preparations for a great sacrifice and 
 dance. Had no opportunity to get them together, in 
 order to discourse with them about Christianity, by 
 reason of their being so much engaged about their sa- 
 crifice. My spirits were much sunk with a prospect 
 so very discouraging; and especially seeing I had this 
 day no interpreter but a pagan, who was as much at- 
 tached to idolatry as any of them, and who could 
 neither speak nor understand the language of these 
 Indians ; so that I was under the greatest disadvantages 
 imaginable. However, I attempted to discourse pri- 
 vately with some of them, but without any appearance
 
 170 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. Vll. 
 
 of success : notwithstanding I still tarried with them. 
 
 " In the evening they met together, nearly a hun- 
 dred of them, and danced around a large fire, having 
 prepared ten fat deer for the sacrifice. The fat of the 
 inwards they burnt in the fire while they were dancing, 
 which sometimes raised the flame to a prodigious 
 height ; at the same time yelling and shouting in such 
 a manner that they might easily have been heard two 
 miles or more. They continued their sacred dance 
 nearly all night, after which they ate the flesh of the 
 sacrifice, and so retired each one to his own lodging. 
 
 " I enjoyed little satisfaction ; being entirely alone 
 on the island, as to any Christian company, and in the 
 midst of this idolatrous revel ; and having walked to 
 and fro till body and mind were pained and much op- 
 pressed, I at length crept into a little crib made for 
 corn, and there slept on the poles. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 21. " Spent the day with the In- 
 dians on the island. As soon as they were well up in 
 the morning I attempted to instruct them, and labored 
 for that purpose to get them together ; but soon found 
 they had something else to do, for near noon they 
 gathered together all their powaws, or conjurers, and 
 set about half a dozen of them playing their juggling 
 tricks, and acting their frantic distracted postures, in 
 order to find out why they were then so sickly upon 
 the island, numbers of them being at that time disor- 
 dered with a fever and bloody flux. In this exercise 
 they were engaged for several hours, making all the 
 wild, ridiculous and distracted motions imaginable; 
 sometimes singing, sometimes howling, sometimes ex- 
 tending their hands to the utmost stretch, and spread- 
 ing all their fingers ; they seemed to push with them 
 as if they designed to push something away, or at least
 
 1745.] POWAWS. 171 
 
 keep it off at arm's-end ; sometimes stroking their faces 
 with their hands, then spurting water as fine as mist ; 
 sometimes sitting flat on the earth, then bowing down 
 their faces to the ground ; then wringing their sides as 
 if in pain and .anguish, twisting their faces, turning up 
 their eyes, grunting, puffing, &c. 
 
 " Their monstrous actions tended to excite ideas of 
 horror, and seemed to have something in them, as I 
 thought, peculiarly suited to raise the devil, if he could 
 be raised by any thing odd, ridiculous, and frightful. 
 Some of them, I could observe, were much more fer- 
 vent and devout in the business than others, and seemed 
 to chant, peep, and mutter with a great degree of 
 warmth and vigor, as if determined to awaken and en- 
 gage the powers below. I sat at a small distance, not 
 more than thirty feet from them, though undiscovered, 
 with my Bible in my hand, resolving, if possible, to 
 spoil their sport, and prevent their receiving any an- 
 swers from the infernal world, and there viewed the 
 whole scene. They continued their hideous charms 
 and incantations for more than three hours, until they 
 had all wearied themselves out; although they had in 
 that space of time taken several intervals of rest ; and 
 at length broke up, I apprehended, without receiving 
 any answer at all. 
 
 " After they had done powawing, I attempted to dis- 
 course with them about Christianity ; but they soon 
 scattered, and gave me no opportunity for any thing 
 of that nature. A view of these things, while I was en- 
 tirely alone in the wilderness, destitute of the society 
 of any one who so much as ' named the name of Christ,' 
 greatly sunk my spirits, and gave me the most gloomy 
 turn of mind imaginable, almost stripped me of all re- 
 solution and hope respecting further attempts for pro-
 
 
 
 172 UFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. Vll. 
 
 pagating the Gospel and converting the pagans, and 
 rendered this the most burdensome and disagreeable 
 Sabbath which I ever saw. But nothing, I can truly 
 say, sunk and distressed me like the loss of my hope 
 respecting their conversion. This concern appeared 
 so great, and seemed to be so much my own, that I 
 seemed to have nothing to do on earth if this failed. 
 A prospect of the greatest success in the saving con- 
 version of souls under Gospel light, would have done 
 little or nothing toward compensating for the loss of 
 my hope in this respect ; and my spirits now were so 
 damped and depressed, that I had no heart nor power 
 to make any further attempts among them for that 
 purpose, and could not possibly recover my hope, re- 
 solution, and courage, by the utmost of my endeavors. 
 " The Indians of this island can, many of them, un- 
 derstand the English language considerably well ; hav- 
 ing formerly lived in some part of Maryland, among 
 or near the white people ; but are very drunken, vicious, 
 and profane, although not so savage as those who have 
 less acquaintance with the English. Their customs, 
 in various respects, differ from those of the other In- 
 dians upon this river. They do not bury their dead 
 in a common form, but let their flesh consume above 
 the ground, in close cribs made for that purpose. At 
 the end of a year, or sometimes a longer space of time, 
 they take the bones, when the flesh is all consumed, 
 and wash and scrape them and afterward bury them 
 with some ceremony. Their method of "charming or 
 conjuring over the sick, seems somewhat different from 
 that of the other Indians, though in substance the same. 
 The whole of it among these and others, perhaps, is 
 an imitation of what seems, by Naaman's expression, 
 a Kings, 5 : 11, to have been the custom of the ancient
 
 1745.] A CONJURER. 173 
 
 heathen. It seems chiefly to consist in their ' striking 
 their hands over the diseased,' repeatedly stroking 
 them, ' and calling upon their god ;' except the spurt- 
 ing of water like a rnist, and some other frantic cere- 
 monies common to the other conjurations which 1 have 
 already mentioned. 
 
 i; When I was in this region in May last I had an 
 opportunity of learning many of the notions and cus- 
 toms of the Indians, as well as observing many of their 
 practices. I then traveled more than an hundred and 
 thirty miles upon the river, above the English settle- 
 ments ; and in that journey met with individuals of 
 seven or eight distinct tribes, speaking as many differ- 
 ent languages. But of all the sights I ever saw among 
 them, or indeed any where else, none appeared so 
 frightful, or so near a kin to what is usually imagined 
 of infernal powers, none ever excited such images of 
 terror in my mind, as the appearance of one who was 
 a devout and zealous reformer, or rather restorer of 
 what he supposed was the ancient religion of the In- 
 dians. He made his appearance in his 'pontifical garb, 
 which was a coat of bear skins, dressed with the hair 
 on, and hanging down to his toes ; a pair of bear skin 
 stockings; and a great wooden face painted, the one 
 half black, the other half tawny, about the color of an 
 Indian's skin, with an extravagant mouth, cut very 
 much awry ; the face fastened to a bear skin cap, which 
 was drawn over his head. He advanced toward me 
 with the instrument in his hand which he used for 
 music in his idolatrous worship ; which was a dry tor- 
 toise shell with some corn in it, and the neck of it 
 drawn on to a piece of wood, which made a very con- 
 venient handle. As he came forward he beat his tune 
 with the rattle, and danced with all his might, but did
 
 174 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII- 
 
 not suffer any part of his body, not so much as his 
 fingers, to be seen. No one would have imagined, 
 from his appearance or actions, that he could have 
 been a human creature, if they had not had some in- 
 timation of it otherwise. When he came near me I 
 could not but shrink away from him, although it was 
 then noon day, and I knew who it was ; his appearance 
 and gestures were so prodigiously frightful. He had 
 a house consecrated to religious uses, with divers 
 images cut upon the several parts of it. I went in, and 
 found the ground beat almost as hard as a rock, with 
 their frequent dancing upon it. I discoursed with him 
 about Christianity. Some of my discourse he seemed 
 to like, but some of it he disliked extremely. He told 
 me that God had taught him his religion, and that he 
 never would turn from it ; but wanted to find some 
 who would join heartily with him in it ; for the Indians, 
 he said, were grown very degenerate and corrupt. He 
 had thoughts, he said, of leaving all his friends, and 
 traveling abroad, in order to find some who would 
 join with him ; for he believed that God had some 
 good people some where, who felt as he did. He had 
 not always, he said, felt as he now did ; but had former- 
 ly been like the rest of the Indians, until about four or 
 five years before that time. Then, he said, his heart 
 was very much distressed, so that he could not live 
 among the Indians, but got away into the woods, and 
 lived alone for some months. At length, he said, God 
 comforted his heart, and showed him what he should 
 do ; and since that time he had known God, and tried 
 to serve him ; and loved all men, be they who they 
 would, so as he never did before. He treated me with 
 uncommon courtesy, and seemed to be hearty in it. I 
 was told by the Indians, that he opposed their drink-
 
 1745.J A CONJURER. 176 
 
 ing strong liquor with all his power ; and that, if at any 
 time he could not dissuade them from it by all he could 
 say, he would leave them, and go crying into the woods. 
 It was manifest that he had a set of religious notions 
 which he had examined for himself, and not taken for 
 granted upon bare tradition ; and he relished or disre- 
 lished whatever was spoken of a religious nature, as .t 
 either agreed or disagreed with his standard. While 
 I was discoursing, he would sometimes say, ' Now that 
 I like; so God has taught me;' &c. and some of his 
 sentiments seemed very just. Yet he utterly denied 
 the existence of a devil, and declared there was no 
 such creature known among the Indians of old times, 
 whose religion he supposed he was attempting to re- 
 vive. He likewise told me, that departed souls went 
 southward, and that the difference between the good 
 and the bad was this : that the former were admitted 
 into a beautiful town with spiritual walls ; and that the 
 latter would for ever hover around these walls, in vain 
 attempts to get in. He seemed to be sincere, honest, 
 and conscientious in his own way, and according to his 
 own religious notions ; which was more than I ever 
 saw in any other Pagan. I perceived that he was 
 looked upon and derided among most of the Indians, 
 as a precise zealot, who made a needless noise about 
 religious matters ; but I must say that there was some- 
 thing in his temper and disposition which looked more 
 like true religion than any thing I ever observed 
 among other heathens. 
 
 " But alas ! how deplorable is the state of the Indians 
 upon this river ! The brief representation which 1 
 have here given of their notions and manners, is suffi- 
 cient to show that they are { led captive by Satan at his 
 will,' in the most eminent manner; and methinks
 
 176 LIFE OP BRAINEHD. [Chap. VH 
 
 might likewise be sufficient to excite the compassion, 
 and engage the prayers, of God's children for these 
 their fellow-men, who sit ' in the regions of the shadow 
 of death.' 
 
 Sept. 22. "Made some further attempts to instruct 
 and Christianize the Indians on this Island, but all to 
 no purpose. They live so near the white people that 
 they are always in the way of strong liquor, as well as 
 of the ill examples of nominal Christians; which 
 renders it so unspeakably difficult to treat with them 
 about Christianity." 
 
 Forks of Delaware, Oct. 1745. 
 
 Oct. 1. " Discoursed to the Indians here, and spen> 
 some time in private conference with them about their 
 souls' concerns, and afterward invited them to accom 
 pany, or if not, to follow me to Crossweeksung as 
 soon as they could conveniently; which invitation 
 numbers of them cheerfully accepted." 
 
 Crossweeksuitff, Oct. 1745. 
 
 Oct. 5. "Preached to my people from John, 14: 
 1-6. The divine presence seemed to be in the assem- 
 bly. Numbers were affected with divine truth, and il 
 was a comfort to some in particular. O what a dif- 
 ference is there between these, and the Indians with 
 whom I had lately treated upon the Susquehanna ! 
 To be with those seemed to be like being banished 
 from God and all his people ; to be with these, like be- 
 ing admitted into his family, and to the enjoyment 
 of his divine presence! How great is the change 
 lately made upon numbers of those Indians ; who, not 
 many months ago, were as thoughtless and averse to 
 Christianity as those upon the Susquehanna ; and how
 
 , 
 
 1745. I AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 177 
 
 astonishing is that grace which has made this change! 
 
 Lord's day, Oct. 6. " Preached in the forenoon from 
 John, 10 : 7-11. There was a considerable melting 
 among my people ; the dear young Christians were 
 refreshed, comforted and strengthened ; and one or 
 two persons newly awakened. In the afternoon I dis 
 coursed on the story of the Jailor, Acts, 16; and in the 
 evening expounded Acts, 20 : 1-12. There was at this 
 time a very agreeable melting spread throughout the 
 whole assembly. I think I scarce ever saw a more de- 
 sirable affection among any people. There was scarcely 
 a dry eye to be seen among them ; and yet nothing 
 boisterous or unseemly, nothing that tended to disturb 
 the public worship ; but rather to encourage and ex- 
 cite a Christian ardor and spirit of devotion. Those 
 who I have reason to hope were savingly renewed 
 were first affected, and seemed to rejoice much, but 
 with brokenness of spirit and godly fear. Their ex- 
 ercises were much the same with those mentioned in 
 my journal of August 26, evidently appearing to be 
 the genuine effects of a spirit of adoption. 
 
 " After public service was over I withdrew, being 
 much tired with the labors of the day ; and the Indians 
 continued praying among themselves for near two 
 hours together ; which continued exercises appeared 
 to be attended with a blessed quickening influence from 
 on high. I could not but earnestly wish that numbers 
 of God's people had been present at this season to see 
 and hear these things which I am sure must refresh 
 the heart of every true lover of Zion. To see those 
 who were very lately savage Pagans and idolaters, 
 having no hope, and without God in the world, now 
 filled with a sense of divine love and grace, and wor- 
 shipping the Father in spirit and in truth, as numbers 
 
 Brainerd. 12
 
 178 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VI I. 
 
 here appeared (o do, was not a little affecting; and 
 especially to see them appear so tender and humble, 
 as well as lively, fervent, and devout in the divine 
 service. 
 
 Oct. 24. "Discoursed from John, 4 : 13, 14. There 
 was a great attention, a desirable affection, and an unaf- 
 fected melting in the assembly. It is surprising to 
 see how eager they are to hear the word of God. I 
 often times thought that they would cheerfully and 
 diligently attend divine worship twenty-four hours 
 together, if they had an opportunity so to do. 
 
 Oct. 25. "Discoursed to my people respecting the 
 Resurrection, from Luke, 20 : 27-36. When I came 
 to mention the blessedness the godly shall enjoy at that 
 season ; their final freedom from death, sin and sor- 
 row; their equality to the angels in their nearness to 
 and enjoyment of Christ, some imperfect degree oi 
 which they are favored with in the present life, from 
 whence springs their sweetest comfort ; and their being 
 the children of God, openly acknowledged by him as 
 such ; many of them were much affected and melted 
 with a view of this blessed state. 
 
 Oct. 26. "Being called to assist in the administra- 
 tion of the Lord's supper in a neighboring congrega- 
 tion, I invited my people to go with me. They in gene- 
 ral embraced the opportunity cheerfully ; and attended 
 the several discourses of this solemnity with diligence 
 and affection, most of them now understanding some- 
 thing of the English language. 
 
 Lard's day, Oct. 27. " While I was preaching to a 
 vast assembly of people abroad, who appeared generally 
 easy and secure, there was one Indian woman, a stran- 
 ger, who never had heard me preach before, nor ever 
 regarded any thing about religion, who, having been
 
 1745. J AT CROSS WEKK.SU NO. 179 
 
 now persuaded by some of her friends to come to 
 meeting, though much against her will, was seized with 
 distressing concern for her soul ; and soon after express- 
 ed a great desire of going home, more than forty miles 
 distant, to call her husband, that he also might be 
 awakened to a concern for his soul. Some others of 
 the Indians appeared to be affected with divine truth 
 this day. The pious people of the English, numbers 
 of whjom I had opportunity to converse with, seemed 
 refreshed with seeing the Indians worship God in that 
 devout and solemn manner with the assembly of his 
 people; and with those mentioned in Acts, 11 : 18, they 
 could not but glorify God, saying, ' Then hath God also 
 to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.' ,7 >.*.' 
 
 "Preached again in the afternoon, to a great assem- 
 bly; at which time some of my people appeared affect- 
 ed ; and when public worship was over, were inquisi- 
 tive whether there would not be another sermon in the 
 evening, or before the solemnity of the Lord's supper 
 was concluded ; being still desirous to hear God's word. 
 
 Oct. 28." Discoursed from Matt. 22 : 1-13. I was 
 enabled to open the scriptures, and adapt my discourse 
 and expression to the capacities of my people, I know 
 not how, in a plain, easy, and familiar manner, beyond 
 all that I could have done by the utmost study ; and 
 this without any special difficulty ; yea, with as much 
 freedom as if I had been addressing a common audi- 
 ence, who had been instructed in the doctrines of Chris- 
 tianity all their days. The word of God at this time 
 seemed to fall upon the assembly with a divine power 
 and influence, especially toward the close of my dis- 
 course ; there was both a sweet melting and bitter 
 mourning in the audience. The dear Christians were 
 refreshed and comforted convictions revived in others,
 
 J80 LIKE OF BRA11VERD. [Chap. VII 
 
 and several persons newly awakened who had never 
 been with us before. So much of the divine presence 
 appeared in the assembly, that it seemed 'this was no 
 other than the house of God and the gate of heaven.' 
 All, who had any savor and relish of divine things, 
 were even constrained by the sweetness of that season 
 to say, ' Lord, it is good for us to be here.' If ever 
 there was among my people an appearance of the New 
 Jerusalem 'as a bride adorned for her husband,' there 
 was much of it at this time ; and so agreeable was the 
 entertainment, where such tokens of the divine pre- 
 sence were, that I could scarcely be willing in the eve- 
 ning to leave the place and repair to my lodgings. 1 
 was refreshed with a view of the continuance of this 
 blessed work of grace among them, and with its influ- 
 ence upon strangers among the Indians, who had of 
 late from time to time providentially come into this 
 part of the country. 
 
 Lord's day, Nov. 3. "Preached to my people from 
 Luke 16 : 17. ' And it is easier for heaven and earth,' 
 &c. more especially for the sake of several lately 
 brought under deep concern for their souls. There 
 was some apparent concern and affection in the assem- 
 bly ; though far less than has been usual of late. 
 
 " On this day six of the Indians made a profession 
 of their faith. One of these was a woman near/owr- 
 score years of age. Two of the others were menjifly 
 years old, who had been singular and remarkable 
 among the Indians for their wickedness ; one of them 
 had been a murderer, and both notorious drunkards as 
 v/eU as excessively quarrelsome ; but now I cannot bul 
 hope that both of them have become subjects of God's 
 special grace. I kept them back for many, weeks after 
 Ihey had given evidence of having passed a grear
 
 1745.] AT CROSSWEEKSONG. 181 
 
 change, that I might have more opportunities to ob- 
 serve the fruits of the impressions which they had been 
 under, and apprehended the way was now clear to ad- 
 mit them to the ordinances. 
 
 Nov. 4. Discoursed from John 11, briefly explain- 
 ing most of the chapter. Divine truth made deep im- 
 pressions upon many in the assembly. Numbers were 
 affected with a view of the power of Christ manifested 
 in his raising the dead ; and especially when this in- 
 stance of his power was improved to show his ability 
 to raise dead souls, such as many of them felt them- 
 selves to be, to a spiritual life; as also to raise the dead 
 at the last day, and dispense to them rewards and 
 punishments. 
 
 " There were numbers of those who had come here 
 lately from remote places, who were now brought un- 
 der deep and pressing concern for their souls. One in 
 particular, who not long since came half drunk, and 
 railed on us, and attempted by all means to disturb us 
 while engaged in divine worship, was now so con- 
 cerned and distressed for her soul, that she seemed un- 
 able to get any ease without an interest in Christ. 
 There were many tears and affectionate sobs and groans 
 in the assembly in general ; some weeping for them- 
 selves; others for their friends. Although persons are 
 doubtless nnich more easily affected now than they 
 were in the beginning of this religious concern, when 
 tears and cries for their souls were things unheard of 
 among them ; yet I must say that their affection in gen- 
 eral appeared genuine and unfeigned; and especially 
 this appeared very conspicuous in those newly awaken- 
 ed. So that true and genuine convictions of sin seem 
 still to be begun and promoted in many instances. 
 Twenty three of the Indians in all have now pro-
 
 183 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. Vli. 
 
 fessed their faith in Christ. Most of them belonged to 
 this region, a few to the Forks of Delaware. Through 
 rich grace, none of them as yet have been left to dis- 
 grace their profession by any scandalous or unbecom- 
 ing behavior. 
 
 " I might now properly make many REMARKS on a 
 work of grace so very remarkable as this has been in 
 various respects ; but shall confine myself to a few gen- 
 eral hints only. 
 
 1. "It is remarkable that God began this work 
 among the Indians at a time when I had the least hope, 
 and, to my apprehension, the least rational prospect of 
 seeing a work of grace propagated among them: my 
 bodily strength being then much wasted by a late te- 
 dious journey to the Susquehanna, where I was neces- 
 sarily exposed to hardships and fatigues among the In- 
 dians ; my mind being also exceedingly depressed with 
 a view of the unsuccessful ness of my labors. I had 
 little reason so much as to hope that God had made 
 me instrumental in the saving conversion of any of 
 the Indians, except my Interpreter and his wife. 
 Hence I was ready to look upon myself as a burden to 
 the Society which employed and supported me in this 
 business, and began to entertain serious thoughts of 
 giving up my mission; and almost resolved I would 
 do so at the conclusion of the present year, if I had 
 then no better prospect of success in my work than I 
 had hitherto had. I cannot say that I entertained these 
 thoughts because I was weary of the labors and fa- 
 tigues which necessarily attended my present business, 
 or because I had light and freedom in my own mind 
 to turn any other way; but purely through dejection 
 of spirit, pressing discouragement, and an apprehen-
 
 1745."] CHARACTER OF THE REVIVAL. 183 
 
 sion of its being unjust to spend money consecrated to 
 religious uses, only to civilize the Indians, and bring 
 them to an external profession of Christianity. This 
 was all which I could then see any prospect of effect- 
 ing, while God seemed, as I thought, evidently to 
 frown upon the design of their saving conversion, by 
 withholding the convincing and renewing influences 
 of his blessed Spirit from attending the means which 
 I had hitherto used with them for that end. 
 
 "In this frame of mind I first visited these Indians 
 at Crossweeksung ; apprehending that it was my in 
 dispensable duty, seeing I had heard there was a num- 
 ber in these parts, to make some attempts for their con- 
 version to God, though I cannot say I had any hope of 
 success, my spirits being now so extremely sunk. I 
 do not know that my hopes respecting the conversion 
 of the Indians were ever reduced to so low an ebb, 
 since I had any special concern for them, as at this 
 time. Yet this was the very season in which God saw 
 fit to begin this glorious work! Thus he 'ordained 
 strength out of weakness,' by making bare his almighty 
 arm at a time when all hopes and human probabilities 
 most evidently appeared to fail. Whence I learn, that 
 it is go^d to follow the path of duty, though in the midst 
 of darkriLSS and discouragement. 
 
 2. " It i& remarkable how God providentially, and 
 in a manner almost unaccountable, called these Indians 
 together to be instructed in the great things that con- 
 cerned tlvir souls: and how he seized their minds 
 with the imst solemn and weighty concern for their 
 eternal salvation, as fast as they came to the place 
 where his word was preached. When I first came into 
 these parts in June, I found not one man at the place 
 I visited, put only four women and a few children j but
 
 184 LIFE OF BRAIN ERD. [Chap. VII. 
 
 before I had been here many days, they gathered from 
 all quarters, some from more than twenty miles; and 
 when I made them a second visit in the beginning of 
 August, some came more than forty miles to hear me. 
 Many came without any intelligence of what was go- 
 ing on here, and consequently without any design of 
 theirs, so much as to gratify their curiosity. Thus it 
 seemed as if God had summoned them together from 
 all quarters for nothing else but to deliver his message 
 to them; and that he did this, with regard to some of 
 them, without making use of any human means, aJ- 
 though there was pains taken by some of them to give 
 notice to others at remote places. 
 
 "Nor is it less surprising that they were one after 
 another affected with a solemn concern for their souls, 
 almost as soon as they came upon the spot where di- 
 vine truths were taught them. I could not but think 
 often, that their coming to the place of our public wor- 
 ship, was like Saul and his messengers coming among 
 the prophets; they no sooner came but they prophesied ; 
 and these were almost as soon affected with a sense of 
 their sin and misery, and with an earnest concern for 
 deliverance, as they made their appearance in o ar as- 
 sembly. After this work of grace began wit'i power 
 among them, it was common for strangerr of the In- 
 dians, before they had been with us one day, to be much 
 awakened, deeply convinced of their sin and misery, 
 and to inquire with great solicitude, ' What th ^y should 
 do to be saved ? ' 
 
 3. "It is likewise remarkable how God preserved 
 these poor ignorant Indians from being prejudiced 
 against me, and the truths I taught them, by those 
 means that were used with them for that purpose by 
 ungodly people. There were many attempts made by
 
 1745.] CHARACTER OF THE REVIVAL. 185 
 
 some ill-minded persons of the white people to preju- 
 dice them against, or frighten them from Christianity. 
 They sometimes told them, that the Indians were well 
 enough already ; that there was no need of all this 
 noise about Christianity ; that if they were Christians 
 they would be in no better, no safer, or happier state, 
 than they were already in. Sometimes they told them, 
 that I was a knave, a deceiver, and the like ; that I daily 
 taught them lies, and had no other design but to im- 
 pose upon them. When none of these, and such like 
 suggestions, would avail to their purpose, they then 
 tried another expedient, and told the Indians, ' My de- 
 sign was to gather together as large a body of them as 
 I possibly could, and sell them to England for slaves ;' 
 than which nothing could be more likely to terrify the 
 Indians, they being naturally of a jealous disposition, 
 and the most averse to a state of servitude perhaps of 
 any people living. 
 
 " But all these wicked insinuations, through divine 
 goodness over-ruling, constantly turned against the 
 authors of them, and only served to engage the affec- 
 t' jns of the Indians more firmly to me ; for they, being 
 awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, could 
 not but observe, that the persons who endeavored to 
 embitter their minds against me, were altogether un- 
 concerned about their own souls, and not only so, but 
 vicious and profane ; and thence could not but argue, 
 that i f they had no concern for their own, it was not 
 like'y they should have for the souls of others. 
 
 " It seems yet the more wonderful that the Indians 
 were preserved from once harkening to these sugges- 
 tions, inasmuch as I was an utter stranger among 
 them, and could give them no assurance of my sincere 
 affection to, and concern for them, by any thing that
 
 186 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. Vll. 
 
 was past, while the persons who insinuated these 
 things were their old acquaintance, who had frequent 
 opportunities of gratifying their thirsty appetites with 
 strong drink, and consequently, doubtless had the 
 greatest interest in their affections. But from this in- 
 stance of their preservation from fatal prejudices, I 
 have had occasion, with admiration, to say, 'If God 
 will work, who can hinder?' 
 
 4. "Nor is it less wonderful how God was pleased 
 to provide a remedy for my want of skill and freedom 
 in the Indian language, by remarkably fitting my Inter- 
 preter for, and assisting him in the performance of his 
 work. It might reasonably be supposed I must needs 
 labor under a vast disadvantage in addressing the In- 
 dians by an Interpreter; and that divine truths would 
 undoubtedly lose much of the energy and pathos with 
 which they might at first be delivered, by reason of 
 their coming to the audience from a second hand. But 
 although this has often, to my sorrow and discourage- 
 ment, been the case in times past, when my Interpre- 
 ter had little or no sense of divine things; yet new it 
 was quite otherwise. I cannot think my addresses 'o 
 the Indians ordinarily, since the beginning of this sea- 
 son of grace have lost any thing of the power or pun- 
 gency with which they were made, unless it were some- 
 times for want of pertinent and pathetic terms and ex- 
 pressions in the Indian language; which iHfficulty 
 could not have been much redressed by my pi rsonal 
 acquaintance with their language. My Interpreter had 
 before gained some good degree of doctrinal know- 
 ledge, whereby he was rendered capable of understand- 
 ing, and communicating, without mistakes, the intent 
 and meaning of my discourses, and that without being 
 confined strictly, and obliged to interpret verbatim
 
 1745.J CHARACTER OP THE REVIVAL. 181 
 
 He had likewise, to appearance, an experimental ac- 
 quaintance with divine things; and it pleased God at 
 this season to inspire his mind with longing desires for 
 the conversion of the Indians, and to give him admi- 
 rable zeal and fervency in addressing them in order 
 thereto. It is remarkable, that, when I was favored 
 with any special assistance in any work, and enabled 
 to speak with more than common freedom, fervency, 
 and power, under a lively and affecting sense of divine 
 things, he was usually affected in the same manner al- 
 most instantly, and seemed at once quickened and en- 
 abled to speak in the same pathetic language, and un- 
 der the same influence that I did. A surprising ener- 
 gy often accompanied the word at such seasons; so 
 that the face of the whole assembly would be apparent- 
 ly changed almost in an instant, and tears and sobs be- 
 come common among them. 
 
 ' : He also appeared to have such a C!ear doctrinal 
 view of God's usual methods of dealing with souls un- 
 der a preparatory work of conviction and humiliation 
 as he never had before ; so that I could, with A^ help, 
 discourse freely with the distressed persons about their 
 internal exercises, their fears, discouragements, temp- 
 tations, &c. He likewise took pains, day and night, to 
 repeat and inculcate upon the minds of the Indians the 
 truths which I taught them daily ; and this he appeared 
 to do, not from spiritual pride, and an affectation of 
 setting himself up as a public teacher, but from a spirit 
 of faithfulness, and an honest concern for their souls. 
 " His conversation among the Indians has likewise, 
 so far as I know, been savory, as becomes a Christian, 
 and a person employed in his work ; and I may justly 
 say, he has been a great comfort to me, and a great in- 
 strument of promoting this good work among the In-
 
 188 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VII, 
 
 dians ; so that whatever be the state of his own soul, it 
 is apparent God has remarkably fitted him for this 
 work. Thus God has manifested that, without bestow- 
 ing on me the gift of tongues, he could find a way 
 wherein I might be as effectually enabled to convey 
 the truths of his glorious Gospel to the minds of these 
 poor benighted pagans. 
 
 5. " It is further remarkable, that God has carried on 
 his work here by such means, and in such a manner, 
 as tended to obviate, and leave no room for those pre- 
 judices and objections which have often been raised 
 against such a work. When persons have been awak- 
 ened to a solemn concern for their souls, by hearing 
 the more awful truths of God's word, and the terrors 
 of the divine law insisted upon, it has usually in such 
 cases been objected by some, that such persons were 
 only frighted with a fearful noise of hell and damna- 
 tion ; and that there was no evidence that their con- 
 cern was the effect of a divine influence. But God 
 has left no room for this objection in the present case ; 
 this work of grace having been begun and carried on 
 by almost one continued strain of Gospel invitation to 
 perishing sinners. This may reasonably be guessed, 
 from a view of the passages of Scripture I chiefly in- 
 sisted upon in my discourses from time to time ; which 
 I have for that purpose inserted in my diary. 
 
 " Nor have I ever seen so general an awakening in 
 any assembly in my life as appeared here while I was 
 opening and insisting upon the parable of the great 
 supper. Luke, 14. In which discourse I was enabled 
 to set before my hearers the unsearchable riches of 
 Gospel grace. Not that I would be understood here 
 that I never instructed the Indians respecting their 
 fallen state, and the sinfulness and misery of it ; for
 
 1745.] CHARACTER OF THE REVIVAL. 189 
 
 this was what I at first chiefly insisted upon with them, 
 and endeavored to repeat and inculcate in almost every 
 discourse, knowing that without this foundation I 
 should but build upon the sand, and that it would be 
 in vain to invite them to Christ unless I could convince 
 them of their need of him. Mark, 2 : 17. 
 
 " But still this great awakening, this surprising con- 
 cern, was never excited by any harangues of terror, 
 but always appeared most remarkable when I insisted 
 upon the compassion of a dying Savior, the plentiful 
 provisions of the Gospel, and the free offers of divine 
 grace to needy, distressed sinners. Nor would I be 
 understood to insinuate, that such a religious concern 
 might justly be suspected as not being genuine and 
 from a divine influence, if produced from the preach- 
 ing of terror ; for this is perhaps God's more usual way 
 of awakening sinners, and appears entirely agreeable 
 to Scripture and sound reason. But what I meant 
 here to observe is, that God saw fit to employ and bless 
 milder means for the effectual awakening of these In- 
 dians, and thereby obviated the forementioned objec- 
 tion, which the world might otherwise have had a 
 more plausible color of making. 
 
 " As there has been no room for any plausible ob 
 jection against this work, with regard to the means, so 
 neither with regard to the manner in which it has been 
 carried on. It is true, persons' concern for their souls 
 have been exceeding great ; the convictions of their sin 
 and misery have arisen to a high degree, and produced 
 many tears, cries, and groans ; but then they have not 
 been attended with those disorders, either bodily or 
 mental, which have sometimes prevailed among per- 
 sons under religious impressions. There has here been 
 no appearance of those convulsions, bodily agonies,
 
 190 LIFE OF BRAINEKD. [Chap. VII 
 
 frightful screamings, swoonings, and the like, which 
 have been so much complained of in some places ; al 
 though there have been some, who, with the jailer, 
 have been made to tremble under a sense of their sin 
 and misery, and have been made to cry out from a dis- 
 tressing view of their perishing state. 
 
 " Nor has there been any appearance of mental dis- 
 orders here, such as visions, trances, imaginations of 
 being under prophetic inspiration, and the like ; or 
 scarce any unbecoming disposition to appear remark- 
 ably affected either with concern or joy ; though I must 
 confess I observed one or two persons, whose concern 
 I thought was in a considerable measure affected ; and 
 one whose joy appeared to be of the same kind. But 
 these workings of spiritual pride I endeavored to crush 
 in their first appearances, and have not since observed 
 any affection, either of joy or sorrow, but what ap- 
 peared genuine and unaffected. But, 
 
 Lastly. The effects of this work have likewise been 
 very remarkable. I doubt not but that many of these 
 people have gained more doctrinal knowledge of divine 
 truths since I first visited them in June last, than could 
 have been instilled into their minds by the most dili- 
 gent use of proper and instructive means for whole 
 years together, without such a divine influence. Their 
 pagan notions and idolatrous practices seem to be en- 
 tirely abandoned in these parts. They are regulated, 
 and appear regularly disposed in the affairs of mar- 
 riage ; an instance whereof I have given in my journal 
 of August 14. They seem generally divorced from 
 drunkenness, their darling vice, the ' sin that easily 
 besets them ;' so that I do not know of more than two 
 or three, who have been my steady hearers, that have 
 drank to excess since I first visited them ; although be-
 
 1745.J CHARACTER OF THE REVIVAL. 191 
 
 fore it was common for some or other of them to be 
 drunk almost every day : and some of them seem now 
 to fear this sin in particular, more than death itself. A 
 principle of honesty and justice appears in many of 
 them ; and they seem concerned to discharge their old 
 debts, which they have neglected, and perhaps scarce- 
 ly thought of for years past. Their manner of living 
 is much more decent and comfortable than formerly, 
 having now the benefit of that money which they used 
 to consume upon strong drink. Love seems to reign 
 among them, especially those who have given evi- 
 dences of having passed a saving change : and I never 
 saw any appearance of bitterness or censoriousness in 
 these, nor any disposition to ' esteem themselves better 
 than others,' who had not received the like mercy. 
 
 " As their sorrows under convictions have been great 
 and pressing, so many of them have since appeared to 
 ' rejoice with joy unspeakable, and full of glory ;' and 
 yet I never saw any thing ecstatic or nighty in their 
 joy. Their consolations do not incline them to light- 
 ness ; but, on the contrary, are attended with solemni- 
 ty, and often times with tears, and an apparent broken- 
 ness of heart, as may be seen in several passages of my 
 diary. In this respect some of them have been sur- 
 prised at themselves, and have with concern observed 
 to me, that ' when their hearts have been glad,' which 
 is a phrase they commonly make use of to express 
 spiritual joy, ' they could not help crying for all.' 
 
 " And now, upon the whole, I think I may justly 
 say, that here are all the symptoms and evidences of a 
 remarkable work of grace among these Indians, which 
 can reasonably be desired or expected. May the great 
 Author of this work maintain and promote the same 
 here, and propagate it every where, till ' the whole earth 
 he filled with his glory !' Amen.
 
 192 LIFE OP BRAINEHD. |_Chap. VII. 
 
 " I have now rode more .than three thousand miles, 
 of which I have kept an exact account, since the begin- 
 ning of March last, and almost the whole of it has been 
 in my own proper business as a missionary, upon the 
 design, either immediately or more remotely, of pro- 
 pagating Christian knoidedge among the Indians. I 
 have taken pains to look out for a colleague or com- 
 panion, to travel with me ; and have likewise used en- 
 deavors to procure something for his support, among 
 religious persons in New-England, which cost me a 
 journey of several hundred miles ; but have not, as yet, 
 found any person qualified and disposed for this good 
 work, although I had some encouragement from mi- 
 nisters and others, that it was hoped a maintenance 
 might be procured for one, when the man should be 
 found. 
 
 " I have likewise of late represented to the gentle- 
 men concerned with this mission, the necessity of 
 having an English school speedily set up among these 
 Indians, who are now willing to be at the pains of ga- 
 thering together in a body, for this purpose. In order 
 thereto, I have humbly proposed to them the collect- 
 ing of money for the maintenance of a schoolmaster, 
 and the defraying of other necessary charges, in the 
 promotion of this good work ; which they are now at- 
 tempting in the several congregations of Christians to 
 which they respectively belong. 
 
 " The several companies of Indians to whom I have 
 preached in the summer past, live at great distances 
 from each other. It is more than seventy miles from 
 Crossweeksung, in New-Jersey, to the Forks of Dela- 
 ware in Pennsylvania ; and thence to sundry of the In- 
 dian settlements which I visited on the Susquehanna, 
 is more than an hundred and twenty miles. So much
 
 1745.J DIFFICULTIES OF THE MISSION. 193 
 
 of my time is necessarily consumed in journeying, 
 that I can have but little for any of my necessary 
 studies, and consequently for the study of the Indian 
 languages in particular ; and especially seeing I am 
 obliged to discourse so frequently to the Indians at 
 each of these places while I am with them, in order to 
 redeem time to visit the rest. I am, at times, almost 
 discouraged from attempting to gain any acquaintance 
 with the Indian languages, they are so very numerous; 
 some account of which I gave in my diary of May last ; 
 and especially, seeing my other labors and fatigues en- 
 gross almost the whole of my time, and bear exceed- 
 ingly hard upon my constitution, so that my health is 
 much impaired. However, I have taken considerable 
 pains to learn the Delaware language, and propose still 
 to do so, as far as my other business and bodily health 
 will admit. I have already made some proficiency in 
 it, though I have labored under many and great dis- 
 advantages in my attempts of that nature. It is but 
 just to observe here, that all the pains I took to ac- 
 quaint myself with the language of the Indians with 
 whom I spent my first year, were of little or no service 
 to me here among the Delawares ; so that my work, 
 when I came among these Indians, was all to be begun 
 anew. 
 
 " As these poor ignorant pagans stood in need of 
 having ' line upon line, and precept upon precept,' in 
 order to their being instructed and grounded in the 
 principles of Christianity ; so I preached ' publicly, 
 and taught from house to house,' almost every day for 
 whole weeks together, when I was with them. My 
 public discourses did not then make up the one half of 
 my work, while there were so many constantly coming 
 to me with that important inquiry, ' What must we 
 
 Brainerd. 13
 
 194 UFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 do to be saved ?' and opening to me the various ex- 
 ercises of their minds. Yet J can say, to the praise of 
 divine grace, that the apparent success, with which my 
 labors were crowned, unspeakably more than compen- 
 sated for the labor itself, and was likewise a great 
 means of supporting and carrying me through the bu- 
 siness and fatigues under which, it seems, my nature 
 would have sunk without such an encouraging pros- 
 pect. But although this success has afforded matter of 
 support, comfort, and thankfulness; yet in this season 
 I have found great need of assistance in my work, and 
 have been much oppressed for want of one to bear a 
 part of my labors and hardships. ' May the Lord of 
 the harvest send forth other laborers into this part of 
 his harvest, that those who sit in darkness may see 
 great light ; and that the whole earth may be filled with 
 the knowledge of himself! Amen.' " 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
 Being part 2d of his public journal of " the Continuance and 
 Progress of a remarkable work of grace among the Indians in 
 New-Jersey and Pennsylvania, kept by order of the Society in 
 Scotland for propagating Christian knowledge." Renewal of 
 labor at Crossweeksung outpouring of the spirit remarkable 
 case signal displays of divine power a convert a number of 
 Christian Indians accompany him to the Forks of Delaware 
 striking conversion at Crossweeksung day of fasting Lord's 
 supper conversion of a Conjurer general remarks on the pre- 
 ceding narrative. 
 
 Nov. 5, 1745. June 19, 1746. 
 
 Crossweeksung, New-Jersey; 1745. 
 Lord's day, Nov. 24. " Preached both parts of the 
 day from the story of Zaccheus. Luke, 19 : 1-9. In
 
 1745.J AT CROSSWEEKSDNG. 195 
 
 the latter exercise, when I opened and insisted upon 
 the salvation that comes to a sinner upon his becoming 
 a son of Abraham, or a true believer, the word seemed 
 to be attended with divine power to the hearts of the 
 hearers. Numbers were much affected with divine 
 truth ; former convictions were revived ; one or two 
 persons newly awakened ; and a most affectionate en- 
 gagement in divine service appeared among them uni- 
 versally. The impressions they were under appeared 
 to be the genuine effect of God's word brought home 
 to their hearts by the power and influence of the Di- 
 vine Spirit. 
 
 Nov. 26. " After having spent some time in private 
 conferences with my people, I discoursed publicly 
 among them from John, 5 : 1-9. I was favored with 
 some special freedom and fervency in my discourse, 
 and a powerful energy accompanied divine truth. 
 Many wept and sobbed affectionately, and scarcely any 
 appeared unconcerned in the whole assembly. The 
 influence which seized the audience appeared gentle, 
 and yet pungent and efficacious. It produced no bois- 
 terous commotion of the passions; but seemed deeply 
 to affect the heart, and excite in the persons under con- 
 victions of their lost state, heavy groans and tears; and 
 in others, who had obtained comfort, a sweet and hum- 
 ble melting. It seemed like the gentle but steady 
 showers which effectually water the earth, without 
 violently beating upon the surface. The persons lately 
 awakened were some of them deeply distressed for 
 their souls, and appeared earnestly solicitous to obtain 
 an interest in Christ ; and some of them, after public 
 worship was over, in anguish of spirit, said ' they 
 knew not what to do, nor how to get their wicked 
 hearts changed,' &c.
 
 196 LIFE OP BRAINEBD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 Nov. 28. " Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after 
 having used some private endeavors to instruct and 
 excite some in the duties of Christianity. Opened and 
 made remarks upon the sacred story of our Lord's 
 transfiguration. Luke, 9 : 28-36. Had a principal view 
 in insisting upon this passage of Scripture to the edifi- 
 cation and consolation of God's people. Observed 
 some, that I have reason to think are truly such, ex- 
 ceedingly affected with an account of the glory of Christ 
 in his transfiguration, and filled with longing desires ol 
 being with him, that they might with open face behold 
 his glory. 
 
 " After public service was over, I asked one of them, 
 who wept and sobbed most affectionately, what she 
 now wanted ? She replied, ' O, to be with Christ. 
 She did riot know how to stay,' &c. This was a 
 blessed refreshing season to the religious people in ge- 
 neral. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his 
 divine glory to them, as when transfigured before his 
 disciples ; and they were ready, with the disciples, uni- 
 versally to say, ' Lord it is good for us to be here.' 
 
 " The influence of God's word was not confined to 
 those who had given evidence of being truly gracious: 
 though at this time I calculated my discourse for and 
 directed it chiefly to such. But it appeared to be a 
 season of divine power in the whole assembly ; so that 
 most were in some measure affected. One aged man, 
 in particular, lately awakened, was now brought under 
 a deep and pressing concern for his soul, was now 
 earnestly inquisitive ' how he might find Jesus Christ.' 
 God seems still to vouchsafe his divine presence, and 
 the influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany his 
 word, at least in some measure, in all ouV meetings for 
 divine worship.
 
 1745. | AT CROSSWEEKSUNQ. 197 
 
 Nov. 30. " Preached near night, after having spent 
 some hours in private conference with some of my 
 people about their souls' concerns. Explained the 
 story of the rich man and Lazarus. Luke, 16 : 19-26. 
 The word made powerful impressions upon many in 
 the assembly, especially while I discoursed of the bless- 
 edness of Lazarus in Abraham's bosom. This I could 
 perceive affected them much more than what I spoke 
 of the rich man's misery and torments ; and thus it has 
 been usually with them. They have almost always 
 appeared much more affected with the comfortable 
 than the dreadful truths of God's word. That which 
 has distressed many of them under conviction is, that 
 they found they wanted and could not obtain the hap- 
 piness of the godly ; at least they have often appeared 
 to be more affected with this than with the terrors of 
 hell. But whatever be the means of their awakening, 
 it is plain, numbers are made deeply sensible of their 
 sin and misery, the wickedness and stubbornness of 
 their own hearts, their utter inability to help them- 
 selves, or to come to Christ for help without divine 
 assistance, and so are brought to see their perishing 
 need of Christ to do all for them, and to lie at the foot 
 of sovereign mercy. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 1. " Discoursed to my people in 
 the forenoon from Luke, 16 : 27-31. There appeared 
 an unfeigned affection in many, and some seemed 
 deeply impressed with divine truth. In the afternoon 
 preached to a number of white people; at which time 
 the Indians attended with diligence, and many of them 
 were able to understand a considerable part of the dis- 
 course. At night discoursed to my people again, and 
 gave them particular cautions and directions relating 
 to their conduct in divers respects, and pressed them
 
 198 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. Vllt' 
 
 to watchfulness in their deportment, seeing they were 
 encompassed with those who waited for their halting, 
 and who stood ready to draw them into temptations of 
 every kind, and then to expose religion by their mis- 
 steps. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 8. " Discoursed on the story of 
 the blind man. John, 9. There appeared no remarka- 
 ble effect of the word upon the assembly at this time. 
 The persons who have lately been much concerned for 
 their souls seemed now not so affected or solicitous to 
 obtain an interest in Christ as has been usual, although 
 they attended divine service with seriousness and dili- 
 gence. Sucli have been the doings of the Lord here 
 in awakening sinners, and affecting the hearts of 
 those who are brought to solid comfort, with a fresh 
 sense of divine things from time to time, that it is now 
 strange to see the assembly sit with dry eyes, and 
 without sobs and groans. 
 
 Dec. 12. " Preached from the parable of the Ten 
 Virgins. Matt. 25. The divine power seemed in some 
 measure to attend this discourse; in which I was favor- 
 ed with uncommon freedom and plainness of address, 
 and enabled to open divine truths, and explain them 
 to the capacities of my people in a manner beyond 
 myself. There appeared in many persons an affec- 
 tionate concern for their souls, although the concern 
 in general seemed not so deep and pressing as it had 
 formerly done. Yet it was refreshing to see many 
 melted into tears and unaffected sobs; some with a 
 sense of divine love, and some for the want of it. 
 
 Dec. 15. " Preached to the Indians from Luke, 
 13 : 24-28. Divine truth fell with weight and power 
 upon the audience, and seemed to reach the hearts of 
 many. Near night discoursed to them again from
 
 1745.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNO. 199 
 
 Matt. 25 : 31-46. At this season also the word ap- 
 peared to be accompanied with a divine influence, and 
 made powerful impressions upon the assembly in gene- 
 ral, as well as upon numbers in a very special and par- 
 ticular manner. This was an amazing season of grace. 
 The word of the Lord this day ' was quick and pow- 
 erful, sharper than a two-edged sword,' and pierced 
 the hearts of many. The assembly was greatly affect- 
 ed and deeply wrought upon; yet without so much 
 apparent commotion of the passions as appeared in the 
 beginning of this work of grace. The impressions 
 made by the word of God upon the audience appeared 
 solid, rational, and deep ; worthy of the solemn truths 
 by means of which they were produced, and far from 
 being the effects of any sudden fright, or groundless 
 perturbation of mind. O how did the hearts of the 
 hearers seem to bow under the weight of divine truth, 
 and how evident did it now appear that they received 
 and felt them, ' not as the word of man, but as the 
 word of God.' None can form a just idea of the ap- 
 pearance of our assembly at this time, but those who 
 have seen a congregation solemnly awed, and deeply 
 impressed by the special power and influence of divine 
 truths delivered to them in the name of God. 
 
 Dec. 16. " Discoursed to my people in the evening 
 from Luke, 11 : 1-13. After having insisted some time 
 upon the ninth verse, wherein there is a command and 
 encouragement to ask for the divine favor, I called 
 upon them to ask for a new heart with the utmost im- 
 portunity, as the man mentioned in the parable, on 
 which I was discoursing, pleaded for loaves of bread 
 at midnight. There was much affection and concern 
 in the assembly, and especially one woman appeared 
 in great distress for her soul. She was brought to such
 
 ^WO LIFE OP BRAINERD. [drap. VIM- 
 
 an agony in seeking after Christ, that the sweat ran 
 off her face for a considerable time, though the even- 
 ing was very cold ; and her bitter cries were the most 
 affecting indications of her heart. 
 
 Dec. 21. "My people having now attained to a 
 considerable degree of knowledge in the principles ol 
 Christianity; I thought it proper to set up a catecheti- 
 cal lecture among them, and this evening attempted 
 something in that form, proposing questions to them 
 agreeably to the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, re- 
 ceiving their answers, and then explaining and insist- 
 ing, as appeared necessary and proper upon each ques- 
 tion. After this I endeavored to make some practical 
 improvement of the whole. This was the method I 
 entered upon. They were able readily and rationally 
 to answer many important questions which I proposed 
 to them ; so that upon trial I found their doctrinal 
 knowledge to exceed my own expectations. In the 
 improvement of my discourse, when I came to infer 
 and open the blessedness of those who have so great 
 and glorious a God as had before been spoken of, ' for 
 their everlasting friend and portion,' several were 
 much affected ; and especially when I exhorted, and 
 endeavored to persuade them to be reconciled to God 
 through his dear Son, and thus to secure an interest in 
 his everlasting favor. So that they appeared not only 
 enlightened and instructed, but affected, and engaged 
 in their soul's concerns by this method of discoursing. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 22. " Discoursed upon the story 
 of the young man in the Gospel. Matt. 9 : 16-22. God 
 made it a seasonable word, I am persuaded, to some 
 souls, and in particular to one, the same mentioned in 
 my journal of the 16th instant, who never before ob- 
 tained any settled comfort, though I have abundant
 
 1745.J OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 201 
 
 reason to think she had passed a saving change some 
 days before. She now appeared in a heavenly frame 
 of mind, composed and delighted with the divine will. 
 When I came to discourse particularly with her, and 
 to inquire of her how she obtained relief and deliver- 
 ance from the spiritual distresses which sire had lately 
 suffered, she answered, in broken English, 'Me try, 
 me try save myself; last, my strength be all gene; 
 (meaning her ability to save herself;) could not me 
 stir bit further. Den last me forced let Jesus Christ 
 alone send me hell, if he please.' I said, 'But you was 
 not willing to go to hell, was you?' She replied, ' Could 
 not me help it. My heart, he would wicked for all. 
 Could not me make him, good,' (meaning, she saw it 
 was right she should go to hell, because her heart was 
 wicked, and would be so after all she could do to mend 
 it.) I asked her how she got out of this case. She 
 answered still in the same broken language, ' By by, 
 my heart be glad desperately? I asked her why her 
 heart was glad? She replied, ' Glad my heart, Jesus 
 Christ do what he please with me. Did not me care 
 where he put me; love him for all,'' &c. She could not 
 readily be convinced but that she was willing to go to 
 hell if Christ was pleased to send her there; although 
 the truth evidently was, that her will was so swallowed 
 up in the divine will that she could not frame any hell 
 in her imagination which would be dreadful or unde- 
 sirable, provided it was the will of God to send her to 
 , it. Toward night discoursed to them again in the 
 catechetical method which I entered upon the evening 
 before. When I came to improve the truth which I 
 had explained to them, and to answer that question, 
 'But how shall I know whether God has chosen me to 
 everlasting life ? ' by pressing them to come and give
 
 202 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. | Chap. VII] 
 
 up their hearts to Christ, and thereby ' to make their 
 election sure,' they then appeared much affected, and 
 the persons under concern were afresh engaged in 
 seeking after an interest in him ; while some others, 
 who had obtained comfort before, were refreshed to 
 find that loVe to God in themselves which was an evi- 
 dence of his electing love to them. 
 
 Dec. 25. " The Indians having been used on Christ- 
 mas days to drink and revel among some of the white 
 people in these parts, I thought it proper this day to 
 call them together and discourse to them upon divine 
 things ; which I accordingly did from the parable of 
 the barren fig-tree. Luke, 13 : 6-9. A divine influence, 
 I am persuaded, accompanied the word at this season. 
 The power of God appeared in the assembly, not by 
 producing any remarkable cries, but by rousing several 
 stupid creatures who were scarcely ever moved with 
 any concern before. The power attending divine truth 
 seemed to have the influence of the earthquake rather 
 than of the whirlwind upon them. Their passions were 
 not so much alarmed as has been common here in times 
 past, but their judgments appeared to be powerfully 
 convinced by the masterly and conquering influence of 
 divine truth. The impressions made upon the assem- 
 bly in general, seemed not superficial, but deep, and 
 heart affecting. O how ready did they now appear uni 
 versally to embrace and comply with every thing 
 which they heard, and were convinced was their duty. 
 God was in the midst of us, of a truth, bowing and 
 melting stubborn hearts ! How many tears and sobs 
 were then to be seen and heard among us ! What live- 
 liness and strict attention ! What eagerness and in- 
 tenseness of mind appeared in the whole assembly, in 
 (he time of divine service. They seemed to watch and
 
 1745.] REMARKABLE CASE. 203 
 
 wait for the droppings of God's word, as the thirsty 
 earth, for the ' former and latter rain.' 
 
 " Afterward I discoursed to them on the duty of hus- 
 bands and wives, from Eph. 5 : 22-33, and have reason 
 to think this was a Avord in season. Spent some time 
 further in the evening in inculcating the truths on 
 which I had insisted in my former discourse, respect- 
 ing the barren fig-tree ; and observed a powerful in- 
 fluence still accompany what was spoken. 
 
 Dec. 26. " This evening was visited by a person un- 
 der great spiritual distress ; the most remarkable in- 
 stance of this kind I ever saw. She was, I believe, 
 more than fourscore years old ; and appeared to be 
 much broken and very childish, through age ; so that 
 it seemed impossible for man to instil into her any no- 
 tions of divine things ; not so much as to give her any 
 doctrinal instruction, because she seemed incapable of 
 being taught. She was led by the hand into my house, 
 and appeared in extreme anguish. I asked her what 
 ailed her 1 She answered, ' her heart was distressed, 
 and sJie feared she should never find Christ.' I asked 
 her when she began to be concerned, with divers other 
 questions relating to her distress. To all which she 
 answered, for substance, to this effect : ' That she Jiad 
 heard me preach many times, but never knew any thing 
 about it, never felt it in her heart, till the last Sabbath, 
 and then it came,'' she said, l as if a needle had been 
 thrust into her heart ; since which time she had no rest 
 day nor night? She added, ' that on the evening before 
 Christmas, a number of Indians being together, at the 
 house where she was, and discoursing about Christ, 
 their talk pricked her heart so that she could not set up, 
 bv.tfell down in her bed; at which lime she went away,' 
 as she expressed it, ' and felt as if she dreamed, and
 
 204 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 yet is confident she did not dream. When she was thus 
 gone, she saw two paths; one appeared very broad 
 and crooked ; and that turned to the left hand. The 
 other appeared straight and very narrow ; and that 
 went up the hill to the right hand. She traveled,] she 
 said, for some time up the narrow right hand path, till 
 at length something seemed to obstruct her journey, 
 sometimes called it darkness ; and tJien described it 
 otherwise, and seemed to compare it to a block or bar. 
 She then remembered what she had heard me say about 
 striving to enter in at the strait gate, although she 
 took little notice of it at the time when she heard me dis- 
 course upon that subject; and thought she would climb 
 over this bar. But just as she was thinking of this, she 
 came back again,' 1 as she termed it, meaning that she 
 came to herself; ' whereupon her soul was extremely 
 distressed, apprehending that she had now turned back, 
 and forsaken Christ, and that there was thei^efore no 
 hope of mercy for her." 1 
 
 "As I was sensible that trances, and imaginary views 
 of things are of dangerous tendency in religion, where 
 sought after and depended upon ; so I could not but be 
 much concerned about this exercise, especially at first; 
 apprehending this might be a design of satan to bring 
 a blemish upon the work of God here, by introducing 
 visionary scenes, imaginary terrors, and all manner of 
 mental disorders and delusions, in the room of genuine 
 convictions of sin, and the enlightening influences of 
 the blessed Spirit; and I was almost resolved to declare, 
 that I looked upon this to be one of satan's devices, 
 and to caution my people against this and similar ex- 
 ercises of that nature. However, I determined first to 
 inquire into her knowledge, to see whether she had 
 any just views of things, that might be the occasion of
 
 1745.] REMARKABLE CASE. 205 
 
 her present distressing concern, or whether it was a 
 mere fright, arising only from imaginary terrors. I 
 asked her numerous questions respecting man's primi- 
 tive, and more especially, his present state, and respect- 
 ing her own heart ; which she answered rationally, 
 and to my surprise. I thought it next to impossible, if 
 not altogether so, that a Pagan, who was become a 
 child through age, should in that state gain so much 
 knowledge by any mere human instruction, without 
 being remarkably enlightened by a divine influence. 
 I then proposed to her the provision made in the gos- 
 pel for the salvation of sinners, and the ability and 
 willingness of Christ 'to save to the uttermost all, old 
 as well as young, that come to him.' To this she 
 seemed to give a hearty assent ; but instantly replied, 
 'Ay, but I cannot come; my wicked heart will not come 
 to Christ ; I do not know how to come,' &c. This she 
 spoke in anguish of spirit, striking on her breast, with 
 tears in her eyes, and with such earnestness in her 
 looks as was indeed piteous and affecting. She seems 
 to be really convinced of her sin and misery, and her 
 need of a change of heart. Her concern is abiding 
 and constant, so that nothing appears why this exer- 
 cise may not have a saving issue. Indeed there seems 
 reason to hope such an issue, seeing she is so solicitous 
 to obtain an interest in Christ, that her heart, as she 
 expresses it, prays day and night. 
 
 " How far God may make use of the imagination in 
 awakening some persons under these, and similar cir- 
 cumstances, I cannot pretend to determine. Or, wheth- 
 er this exercise be from a divine influence, I shall leave 
 others to judge. But this I must say, that its effects 
 hitherto bespeak it to be such ; nor can it, as I see, be 
 accoimted for in any rational way, but from the influ-
 
 206 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 ence of some spirit either good or evil. The woman / 
 I am sure never heard divine things in the manner in 
 which she now viewed them; and it would seem 
 strange that she should get such a rational notion of 
 them from the mere working of her own fancy, with- 
 out some superior, or at least foreign aid. Yet I must 
 say, I have looked upon it as one of the glories of this 
 work of grace among the Indians, and a special evi- 
 dence of its being from a divine influence, that there 
 has, till now, been no appearance of such things, no 
 visionary notions, trances, and imaginations, intermixed 
 with those rational convictions of sin, and solid conso- 
 lations, of which numbers have been made the subjects. 
 And might I have had my desire, there had been no 
 appearance of any thing of this nature at all. 
 
 Dec. 28. " Discoursed to my people in the catecheti- 
 cal method on which I lately entered. In the improve- 
 ment of my discourse, wherein I was comparing man's 
 present with his primitive state, and showing from 
 what he had fallen, and the miseries in which he is now 
 involved, and to which he is exposed in his natural es- 
 tate ; and pressing sinners to take a view of their de- 
 plorable circumstances without Christ, as also to strive 
 that they might obtain an interest in him ; the Lord, I 
 trust, granted a remarkable influence of his? blessed 
 Spirit to accompany what was spoken ; and a great 
 concern appeared in the assembly. Many were melt- 
 ed into tears and sobs; and the impressions made up- 
 on them seemed deep and heart-affecting. In particu- 
 lar, there were two or three persons who appeared to 
 be brought to the last exercises of a preparatory work, 
 and reduced almost to extremity; being in a great mea- 
 sure convinced of the impossibility of their helping 
 themselves, or of mending their own hearts; and seem-
 
 1745. OUTPOURING OF THE SHRIT. 207 
 
 ed to be upon the point of giving up all hope in them 
 selves, and of venturing upon Christ, as poor, helpless, 
 and undone. Yet they were in distress and anguish 
 because they saw no safety in so doing, unless they 
 could do something toward saving themselves. One 
 of these persons was the very aged woman above-men- 
 tioned, who now appeared 'weary and heavy laden' 
 with a sense of her sin and misery, and her perishing 
 need of an interest in Christ. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 29. "Preached from John, 3: 1-5. 
 A number of white people were present, as is usual up- 
 on the Sabbath. The discourse was accompanied with 
 power, and seemed to have a silent, but deep and 
 piercing influence upon the audience. Many wept 
 and sobbed affectionately. There were some tears 
 among the white people as well as the Indians. Some 
 could not refrain from crying out ; though there were 
 not many so exercised. But the impressions made up- 
 on their hearts appeared chiefly by the extraordinary 
 earnestness of their attention, and their heavy sighs 
 and tears. 
 
 ''After public worship was over I went to my house, 
 proposing to preach again after a short season of inter- 
 mission. But they soon came in, one after another, 
 with tears in their eyes, to know ' what they should do 
 to be saved. 11 The divine Spirit in such a manner set 
 home upon their hearts what I spake to them that the 
 house was soon filled with cries and groans. They all 
 flocked together upon this occasion ; and those, whom 
 I had reason to think in a Christless state, were almost 
 universally seized with concern for their souls. It was 
 an amazing season of power among them ; and seemed 
 as if God had bowed the heavens and come down. So 
 astonishingly prevalent was the operation upon old as
 
 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 well as young, that it seemed as if none would be left 
 in a secure and natural state, but that God was now 
 about to convert all the world. I was ready to think, 
 then, that I should never again despair of the conver- 
 sion of any man or woman living, be they who or what 
 they would. 
 
 "It is impossible to give a just and lively description 
 of the appearance of things at this season ; at least sucb 
 as to convey a bright and adequate idea of the ef 
 fects of this influence. A number might now be seen 
 rejoicing that God had not taken away the powerful 
 influence of his blessed Spirit from this place ; refreshed 
 to see so many striving to enter in at the strait gate; 
 and animated with such concern for them, that they 
 wanted to push them forward, as some of them express- 
 ed it. At the same time numbers both of men and wo- 
 men, old and young, might be seen in tears ; and some 
 in anguish of spirit, appearing in their very countenan- 
 ces like condemned malefactors bound toward the 
 place of execution, with a heavy solicitude sitting in 
 their faces; so that there seemed here, as I thought, a 
 lively emblem of the solemn day of account: a mix- 
 ture of heaven and hell; of joy and anguish inexpres- 
 sible. 
 
 " The concern and religious affection was such, that 
 I could not pretend to have any formal religious exer- 
 cise among them ; but spent the time in discoursing to 
 one and another, as I thought most proper and season- 
 able for each ; and sometimes addressed them altogeth- 
 er ; and finally concluded with prayer. Such were their 
 circumstances at this season, that I could scarcely have 
 half an hour's rest from speaking, from about half an 
 hour before twelve o'clock, at which time I began pub- 
 lic worship, till after seven at night. There appeared
 
 1746. J OUTPOURING Of THE SPIRIT. 209 
 
 to be four or five persons newly awakened this day 
 and the evening before; some of whom but very lately 
 came among us. 
 
 Dec. 30. "Was visited by four or five young per- 
 sons under concern for their souls; most of whom 
 were very lately awakened. They wept much while 
 I discoursed with them and endeavored to press upon 
 them the necessity of flying to Christ without delay 
 for salvation. 
 
 Dec. 31. "Spent some hours this day in visiting my 
 people from house to house, and conversing with them 
 about their spiritual concerns; endeavoring to press up- 
 onChristless souls the necessity of a renovation of heart ; 
 and scarce left a house without leaving some or other 
 of its inhabitants in tears, appearing solicitously en- 
 gaged to obtain an interest in Christ. 
 
 " The Indians are now gathered together from all 
 quarters to this place, and have built them little cotta- 
 ges, so that more than twenty families live within a 
 quarter of a mile from me. A very convenient situa- 
 tion with regard both to public and private instruction. 
 
 Jan. 1, 1746. Spent considerable time in visiting 
 my people again. Found scarcely one but what was 
 under some serious impressions respecting their spiri- 
 tual concerns. 
 
 Jan. 2. " Visited some persons newly come among 
 us, who had scarce ever heard any thing of Christia- 
 nity before, except the empty name. Endeavored to in- 
 struct them, particularly in the first principles of reli- 
 gion, in the most easy and familiar manner I could. 
 There are strangers from remote parts, almost continu- 
 ally dropping in among us, so that I have occasion re- 
 peatedly to open and inculcate the first principles of 
 Christianity. 
 
 Brainerd. 14
 
 210 LIFE OF BRAtNERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 Jan. 4. "Prosecuted my catechetical method of in- 
 structing. Found my people able to answer questions 
 with propriety, beyond what could have been expected 
 from persons so lately brought out of heathenish dark- 
 ness. In the improvement of my discourse there ap- 
 peared some concern and affection in the assembly; 
 and especially in those of whom I entertained hopes 
 as being truly gracious, at least several of them were 
 much affected and refreshed. 
 
 Lord's day, Jan. 5. " Discoursed from Matt. 12 >10 
 -13. There appeared not so much liveliness and affec- 
 tion in divine service as usual. The same truths which 
 have often produced many tears and sobs in the as- 
 sembly seemed now to have no special influence upon 
 any in it. Near night I proposed to have proceeded 
 in my usual method of catechising ; but while we were 
 engaged in the first prayer, the power of God seemed 
 to descend upon the assembly in such a remarkable 
 manner, and so many appeared under pressing con- 
 cern for their souls, that I thought it much more ex- 
 pedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made by 
 divine grace for the redemption of perishing sinners, 
 and to press them to a speedy acceptance of the great 
 salvation, than to ask them questions about doctrinal 
 points. What was most practical seemed most sea- 
 sonable to be insisted upon, while numbers appeared 
 so extraordinarily solicitous to obtain an interest in 
 the great Redeemer. 
 
 " This day the woman mentioned in my journal of 
 December 22, made a public profession of her faith. 
 She has discovered a very sweet and heavenly frame 
 of mind from time to time, since her first reception of 
 comfort. One morning in particular, she came to see 
 me, discovering an unusual joy and satisfaction in her
 
 1746.] OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 211 
 
 countenance ; and when I inquired into the reason of 
 it, she replied, ' that God had made her feel that it was 
 right for him to do what he pleased with all things ; 
 and that it would be right if he should cast her hus- 
 band and son both into hell ; and she saw it was so 
 right for God to do what he pleased with them, that 
 she could not but rejoice in God even if he should send 
 them into hell ;' though it was apparent she loved them 
 dearly. She moreover inquired whether I was not sent 
 to preach to the Indians by some good people a great 
 way off. I replied, ' Yes, by the good people in Scot- 
 land.' She answered, ' that ner heart loved those good 
 people so the evening before, that she could scarce help 
 praying for them all night, her heart would go to God 
 for them.' Thus, the blessing of those ready to perish, 
 is like to come upon those pious persons who have 
 communicated of their substance to the propagation of 
 the Gospel. . 
 
 Lord's day, Jan. 12. " Preached from Isaiah, 55 : 
 6. The word of God seemed to fall upon the audience 
 with a divine weight and influence, and evidently ap- 
 peared to be ' not the word of man.' The blessed 
 Spirit, I am persuaded, accompanied what was spoken 
 to the hearts of many ; so that there was a powerful 
 revival of conviction in numbers who were under spiri- 
 tual exercises before. 
 
 " Toward night catechised in my usual method. 
 Near the close of my discourse there appeared a great 
 concern, and much affection in the audience ; which 
 increased while I continued to invite them to come to 
 an all-sufficient Redeemer for eternal salvation. The 
 Spirit of God seems, from time to time, to be striving 
 with souls here. They are so frequently and repeated- 
 ly roused, that they seem unable at present to lull 
 themselves asleep.
 
 / 
 
 212 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 Jan. 13. " Was visited by several persons under 
 deep concern for their souls; one of whom was newly 
 awakened. It is a most agreeable work to treat with 
 souls who are solicitously inquiring ' what they shall 
 do to be saved.' As we are never to be ' weary in well 
 doing,' so the obligation seems to be peculiarly strong 
 when the work is so very desirable. Yet I must say, 
 my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so 
 wasted with my labors and solitary manner of living ; 
 there being no human creature in the house with me ; 
 that their repeated and almost incessant applications 
 to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceed- 
 ingly burdensome, and so exhaust my spirits that I 
 become fit for nothing at all, entirely unable to prose- 
 cute my business, sometimes for days together. What 
 contributes much toward this difficulty is, that I am 
 obliged to spend much time in communicating a little 
 matter to them ; there being oftentimes many things 
 to be premised before I can speak directly to what I 
 principally aim at; which things would readily be taken 
 for granted where there was a competency of doctri- 
 nal knowledge. 
 
 Jan. 14. " Spent some time in private conference 
 with my people, and found some disposed to take com- 
 fort, as I thought, upon slight grounds. They are now 
 generally awakened, and it is become so disgraceful, 
 as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be destitute 
 of religion, that they are in imminent danger of taking 
 up with an appearance of grace, rather than to live 
 under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerated state. 
 
 Jan. 18. " Prosecuted my catechetical method of 
 discoursing. There appeared a great solemnity, and 
 some considerable affection in the assembly. This 
 method of instruction I find very profitable. When J
 
 1746. OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 213 
 
 first entered upon it I was exercised with fears, lest 
 my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal that 
 they would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to 
 affect the heart. But the event proved quite otherwise ; 
 for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably 
 blessed in the latter, as well as the former respects. 
 
 lard's day, Jan. 19. " Discoursed to my people 
 from Isaiah, 55 : 7. Toward night catechised in my 
 ordinary method ; and this appeared to be a powerful 
 season of grace among us. Numbers were much af- 
 fected. Convictions were powerfully revived, and 
 Christians refreshed and strengthened ; and one weary, 
 heavy laden soul, I have abundant reason to hope, 
 brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ ; who 
 afterward gave me such an account of God's dealing 
 with his soul as was abundantly satisfying, as well as 
 refreshing to me. 
 
 " He told me he had often heard me say that per- 
 sons must see and feel themselves utterly helpless and 
 undone that they must be emptied of a dependence 
 upon themselves, and of all hope of saving themselves, 
 in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. He 
 had long been striving after this view of things ; sup- 
 posing that this would be an excellent frame of mind, 
 to be thus emptied of a dependence upon his own good- 
 ness ; that God would have respect to this frame, would 
 then be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life 
 upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this 
 helpless, undone condition, he found it quite contrary 
 to all his thoughts and expectations ; so that it was not 
 the same frame, nor indeed any thing like the frame 
 after which he had been seeking. Instead of its being 
 a good frame of mind, he now found nothing but bad- 
 ness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for
 
 214 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 him to make himself any better. He wondered, he said, 
 that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He 
 was amazed that he had never before seen that it was 
 utterly impossible for him, by all his contrivances and 
 endeavors, to do any thing in that way, since the mat 
 ter now appeared to him in so clear a light. Instead 
 of imagining now that God would be pleased with 
 him for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view 
 of his undone estate, he saw clearly, and felt that it 
 would be just with God to send him to eternal misery; 
 and that there was no goodness in what he then felt; 
 for he could not help seeing that he was naked, sinful, 
 and miserable, and that there was nothing in such a 
 sight to deserve God's love or pity. 
 
 " He saw these things in a manner so clear and con- 
 vincing, that it seemed to him, he said, he could con- 
 vince every body of their utter inability to help them- 
 selves, and their unworthiness of any help from God. 
 In this frame of mind he came to public worship this 
 evening ; and while I was inviting sinners to come to 
 Christ naked and empty, without any goodness of their 
 own to recommend them to his acceptance, then he 
 thought with himself that he had often tried to come 
 and give up his heart to Christ, and he used to hope 
 that some time or other he should be able to do so ; 
 biit now he was convinced that he could not, and it 
 seemed utterly vain for him ever to try any more ; and 
 he could not, he said, find a heart to make any further 
 attempt, because he saw it would signify nothing at 
 all ; nor did he now hope for a better opportunity or 
 more ability hereafter, as he had formerly done, be- 
 cause he saw and was fully convinced that his own 
 strength would for ever fail. 
 
 While he was musing in this manner he saw, he
 
 1746.) OUTPOURING OF THE SPIRIT. 215 
 
 said, with his heart, (which is a common phrase among 
 them,) something that was unspeakably good and love- 
 ly, and what he had never seen before ; and ' this stole 
 away his heart whether he would or no.' He did not, 
 he said, know what it was he saw. He did not say 
 ' this is Jesus Christ ;' but it was such glory and beauty 
 as he never saw before. He did not now give away 
 his heart, as he had formerly intended and attempted 
 to do ; but it went away of itself after that glory he 
 then discovered. He used to make a bargain with 
 Christ to give up his heart to him that he might have 
 eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about 
 himself or what would become of him hereafter ; but 
 was pleased, and his mind wholly taken up with the 
 unspeakable excellency of what he then beheld. After 
 some time he was wonderfully pleased with the way 
 of salvation by Christ ; so that it seemed unspeakably 
 desirable to be saved altogether by the mere free grace 
 of God in him. The consequence of this exercise is, 
 that he appears to retain a sense and relish of divine 
 things, and to maintain a life of seriousness and true 
 religion. 
 
 Jan. 28. " The Indians in these parts have, in times 
 past, run themselves in debt by their excessive drink- 
 ing ; and some have taken the advantage of them, and 
 put them to trouble and charge, by arresting some of 
 them ; whereby it was supposed their hunting lands in 
 great part were much endangered, and might speedily 
 be taken from them. Being sensible that they could 
 not subsist together in these parts, in order to their 
 being a Christian congregation, if these lands should 
 be taken, which was thought very likely ; I thought it 
 my duty to use my utmost endeavors to prevent so un- 
 happy an event. Having acquainted the gentlemen
 
 216 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap.VlIl. 
 
 concerned in this mission with the affair, according to 
 the best information I could get of it, they thought it 
 proper to expend the money which they had been and 
 still were collecting for the religious interest of the 
 Indians, at least a part of it, for discharging their debts, 
 and securing these lands, that there might be no entan- 
 glement lying upon them to hinder the settlement and 
 hopeful enlargement of a Christian congregation of In- 
 dians in these parts. Having received orders from them, 
 I answered in behalf of the Indians, eighty-two pounds, 
 five shillings, New- Jersey currency, at eight shillings 
 per ounce ; and so prevented the danger or difficulty 
 in this respect. 
 
 " As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace 
 among these Indians, and now inclines others irom 
 remote places to fall in among them almost continually ; 
 and as he has opened a door for the prevention of the 
 difficulty now mentioned, which seemed greatly to 
 threaten their religious interests as well as worldly 
 comforts ; it is to be hoped that he designs to establish 
 A church for himself among them, and hand down 
 true religion to their posterity. 
 
 Jan. 30. " Preached to the Indians from John, 3 : 
 16, 17. There was a solemn attention and some affec- 
 tion visible in the audience ; especially several persons 
 who had long been concerned for their souls, seemed 
 afresh excited and engaged in seeking after an interest 
 in Christ. One, with much concern, afterward told me 
 'his heart was so pricked with my preaching he knew 
 not where to turn or what to do.' 
 
 Jan. 31. " This day the person whom I had made 
 choice of and engaged for a school master among the In- 
 dians arrived among us, and was heartily welcomed by 
 my people universally. Whereupon I distributed several 
 dozen of primers among the children and young people.
 
 1746.] SCHOOL ESTABLISHED. 217 
 
 Feb. 1 "My schoolmaster entered upon his busi- 
 ness among the Indians. He has generally about thirty 
 children and young persons in his school in the day 
 time, and about fifteen married people in the evening 
 school. The number of married persons being less 
 than it would be if they could be more constantly at 
 home, and could spare time from their necessary em- 
 ployments for an attendance upon these instructions. 
 
 "In the evening catechised in my usual method. 
 Toward the close of my discourse a surprising power 
 seemed to attend the word, especially to some persons. 
 One man considerably in years, who had been a re- 
 markable drunkard, a conjurer and murderer, and was 
 awakened some months before, was now brought to 
 great extremity under his spiritual distress ; so that he 
 trembled for hours together, and apprehended himself 
 just dropping into hell, without any power to rescue 
 or relieve himself. Divers others appeared under 
 great concern, as well as he, and solicitous to obtain 
 a saving change. 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 2. " Preached from John, 5 : 24, 
 25. There appeared, as usual, some concern and affec- 
 tion in the assembly. Toward night proceeded in my 
 usual method of catechising. Observed my people 
 more ready in answering the questions proposed to 
 them than ever before. It is apparent they advance 
 daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more 
 desirable, the Spirit of God is yet operating among 
 them ; whereby experimental as well as speculative 
 knowledge is propagated in their minds. 
 
 Feb. 5. " Discoursed to a considerable number of 
 Indians in the evening ; at which time numbers of them 
 appeared much affected and melted with divine things. 
 
 Feb. 8. " Spent a considerable part of the day in
 
 218 LIFE OF BRAINERD. | Chap. Vlli 
 
 visiting my people from house to house, and conversing 
 with them about their souls concerns. Many persons 
 wept, while I discoursed to them, and appeared con- 
 cerned for nothing so much as for an interest in the 
 great Redeemer. In the evening catechised as usual. 
 Divine truth made some impressions upon the audi- 
 ence ; and were attended with an affectionate engage- 
 ment of soul in some. 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 9. " Discoursed to my people from 
 the story of the blind man. Matt. 10 : 46-52. The 
 word of God seemed weighty, and powerful upon the 
 assembly at this time, and made considerable impres- 
 sions upon many; several in particular, who have 
 generally been remarkably stupid and careless under 
 the means of grace, were now awakened, and wept af- 
 fectionately. The most earnest attention, as well as 
 tenderness and affection, appeared in the audience uni- 
 versally. Two persons publicly professed Christ. 
 
 "Toward night catechised. God made this a power- 
 ful season to some. There were many affected. For- 
 mer convictions appeared to be powerfully revived. 
 There was likewise one, who had been a vile drunkard, 
 remarkably awakened. He appeared to be in great 
 anguish of soul, wept, and trembled, and continued to 
 do so till near midnight. There was also a poor heavy 
 laden soul, who had been long under heavy distress, as 
 constant and pressing as I ever saw, who was now 
 brought to a comfortable calm, and seemed to be 
 bowed and reconciled to the divine sovereignty, and 
 told me she now felt and saw that it was right for 
 God to do with her as he pleased ; and that her heart 
 felt pleased and satisfied it should be so; although of 
 late she had often found her heart rise and quarrel with 
 God because he would, if he pleased, send her to hell
 
 1746.] AT PORKS OP DELAWARE. 219 
 
 after all she had done. She added that the heavy 
 burden she had lain under was now removed ; that she 
 had tried to recover her concern and distress again, 
 fearing that the Spirit of God was departing from her, 
 and would leave her wholly careless, but that she could 
 not recover it ; that she felt she never could do any 
 thing to save herself, but must perish for ever if Christ 
 did not do all for her ; that she did not deserve he 
 should help her; and that it would be right if he should 
 leave her to perish. But Christ could save her though 
 she could do nothing to save herself, &c. and here she 
 seemed to rest." 
 
 Forks of Delaware, February, 1746. 
 Lord's day, Feb. 16. "Knowing that numbers of 
 the Indians in these parts were obstinately set against 
 Christianity ; and that some of them had refused to 
 hear me preach in times past ; I thought it might be 
 proper and beneficial to the Christian interest here to 
 have a number of my religious people from Cross- 
 weeksung with me, to converse with them about reli- 
 gious matters ; hoping it might be a means to convince 
 them of the truth and importance of Christianity, to 
 see and hear some of their own nation discoursing of 
 divine things, and manifesting earnest desires that 
 others might be brought out of heathenish darkness, 
 as themselves were. For this purpose I selected half 
 a dozen of the most serious and intelligent of those 
 Indians, and having brought them to the Forks of De- 
 laware, I this day met with them and the Indians of 
 this place. Numbers of the latter probably could. not 
 have been prevailed upon to attend this meeting, had 
 it not been for these religious Indians who accompa- 
 nied me hither, and preached to them Some of those
 
 220 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [ Cba P- VI11 - 
 
 who had in times past been extremely averse to Chris- 
 tianity, now behaved soberly; and some others laughed 
 and mocked. However, the word of God fell with snch 
 weight and power, that numbers seemed to be stunned, 
 and expressed a willingness to hear me again of these 
 matters. 
 
 "Afterward prayed with, and made an address to the 
 white people present ; and could not but observe some 
 visible effects of the word, such as tears and sobs 
 among them. After public worship, spent some time, 
 and took pains to convince those that mocked of the 
 truth and importance of what I had been insisting 
 upon ; and so endeavored to awaken their attention to 
 divine truth. Had reason to think, from what I ob- 
 served then and afterward, that my endeavors took 
 considerable effect upon one of the worst of them. 
 
 " Those few Indians then present, who used to be 
 m}^ hearers in these parts, some having removed hence 
 to Crossweeksung, seemed somewhat kindly disposed 
 toward me, and glad to see me again. They had been 
 so much attacked, however, by some of the opposing 
 Pagans, that they were almost ashamed or afraid to 
 manifest their friendship. 
 
 Feb. 17. " After having spent much time in dis- 
 coursing to the Indians in their respective houses, I 
 got them together and repeated and inculcated what I 
 had before taught them. Afterward discoursed to 
 them from Acts, 8 : 5-8. A divine influence seemed to 
 attend the word. Several of the Indians here appeared 
 to be somewhat awakened, and manifested earnest 
 tears and sobs. My people of Crossweeksung con- 
 tinued with them day and night repeating and incul- 
 cating the truths I had taught them ; and sometimes 
 prayed and sung psalms among them ; discoursing
 
 1746.] AT FORKS OP DELAWARE. 221 
 
 with each other in their hearing, of the great things 
 God had done for them and for the Indians from 
 whence they came. This seemed, as my people told 
 me, to have more effect upon them than when they 
 directed their discourse immediately to them. 
 
 Feb. 18. " Preached to an assembly of Irish peo- 
 ple, nearly fifteen miles distant from the Indians. 
 
 Feb. 19. " Preached to the Indians again, after 
 having spent considerable time in conversing with 
 them more privately. There appeared a great solem- 
 nity, and some concern and affection among the In- 
 dians belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melt- 
 ing among those who came with me. Numbers of the 
 Indians here seemed to have their prejudices and aver- 
 sion to Christianity removed ; and appeared well dis- 
 posed, and inclined to hear the word of God. 
 
 Feb. 20. " Preached to a small assembly of High 
 Dutch people, who had seldom heard the Gospel 
 preached, and were some of them, at least, very igno- 
 rant ; but numbers of them have lately been put upon 
 an inquiry after the way of Salvation with thoughtful- 
 ness. They gave wonderful attention ; and some of 
 them were much affected under the word, and after- 
 ward said, as I was informed, that they never had been 
 so much enlightened about the way of Salvation in 
 vheir whole lives before. They requested me to tarry 
 with them, or come again and preach to them. It 
 grieved me that I could not comply with their request. 
 I could not but be affected with their circumstances ; 
 for they were as ' sheep not having a shepherd,' and 
 some of them appeared under some degree of distress 
 for sin ; standing in peculiar need of the assistance of 
 an experienced spiritual guide. 
 
 Feb. 21. Preached to a number of people, many of
 
 
 222 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V1IJ. 
 
 them Low Dutch. Several of the fore-mentioned High 
 Dutch people attended the sermon, though eight or ten 
 miles distant from their houses. Numbers of the In- 
 dians also belonging to these parts came of their own 
 accord with my people from Crossweeksung, to the 
 meeting. There were two in particular who, though 
 the last Sabbath they opposed and ridiculed Chris- 
 tianity, now behaved soberly. May the present en- 
 couraging appearances continue ! 
 
 Feb. 22. " Preached to the Indians. They appeared 
 more free from prejudice and more cordial to Chris- 
 tianity than before ; and some of them appeared affect- 
 ed with divine truth. 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 23. " Preached to the Indians 
 from John, 6 : 35-37. After public service discoursed 
 particularly with several of them, and invited them to 
 go down to Crossweeksung and tarry there at least for 
 some time; knowing that they would then be free 
 from the scoffs and temptations of the opposing Pa- 
 gans, as well as in the way of hearing divine truths 
 discoursed of, both in public and private. Obtained a 
 promise of some of them that they would speedily pay 
 us a visit, and attend some farther instructions. They 
 seemed to be considerably enlightened, and much 
 freed from their prejudices against Christianity. But 
 it is much to be feared that their prejudice? will revive 
 again, unless they can enjoy the means of instruction 
 here, or be removed where they may be under such 
 advantages, and out of the way of their Pagan ac- 
 quaintances. 
 
 Crossweeksung; March, 1746. 
 
 March, I. " Catechised in my ordinary method. 
 Was pleased and refreshed to see them answer the 
 questions proposed to them with such remarkable
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 223 
 
 readiness, discretion, and knowledge. Toward the 
 close of my discourse divine truth made considerable 
 impression upon the audience, and produced tears and 
 sobs in some under concern ; and more especially a 
 sweet and humble melting in several, who, I have rea- 
 son to hope, were truly gracious. 
 
 Lord's day, March 2. Preached from John, 15 : 16. 
 The assembly appeared not so lively in their attention 
 as usual, nor so much affected with divine truth in 
 general as has been common. Some of my people 
 who went up to the Forks of the Delaware with me, 
 being now returned, were accompanied by two of the 
 Indians belonging to the Forks who had promised me 
 a speedy visit. May the Lord meet with them here. 
 They can scarcely go into a house now but they will 
 meet with Christian conversation, whereby it is to be 
 hoped they may be both instructed and awakened. 
 
 " Discoursed to the Indians again in the afternoon, 
 and observed among them some animation and enga- 
 gedness in divine service, though not equal to what 
 has often appeared here. I know of no assembly of 
 Christians where there seems to be so much of the 
 presence of God, where brotherly love so much pre- 
 vails, and where I should take so much delight in the 
 public worship of God in general, as in my awn con- 
 gregation ; although not more than nine months ago, 
 they were worshipping devils and dumb idols under 
 the power of Pagan darkness and superstition. Amaz- 
 ing change this ! effected by nothing less than divine 
 power and grace. This is the doing of the Lord, and 
 it is justly marvellous in our eyes. 
 
 March 5. " Spent some time just at evening in 
 prayer, singing and discoursing to my people upon di- 
 vine things ; and observed some agreeable tenderness
 
 224 LIKE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. V11I 
 
 and affection among them. Their present situation is 
 so compact and commodious, that they are easily and 
 quickly called together with only the sound of a conch- 
 shell, (a shell like that of a periwinkle,) so that they 
 have frequent opportunities of attending religious ex- 
 ercises publicly. This seems to be a great means, 
 under God, of keeping alive the impression of divine 
 things in their minds. 
 
 March 8. " Catechised in the evening. My people 
 answered the questions proposed to them well. I can 
 perceive their knowledge in religion increases daily. 
 And, what is still more desirable, the divine influence, 
 which has been so remarkable among them, appears 
 still to continue, in some good measure. The divine 
 presence seemed to be in the assembly this evening. 
 "Some, who I have good reason to think are Chris- 
 tians indeed, were melted with a sense of divine good- 
 ness and their own barrenness and ingratitude, and 
 seemed to hate themselves, as one of them afterward 
 expressed it. Convictions also appeared to be revived 
 in several instances ; and divine truth was attended 
 with such influence upon the assembly in general, that 
 it might justly be called an evening of divine power. 
 
 Lords' day, March 9. " Preached from Luke, 10 : 
 38-42. The word of God was attended with power 
 and energy upon the audience. Numbers were affect- 
 ed, and concerned to obtain the one thing needful. 
 Several, who have given good evidence of being truly 
 gracious, were much affected with a sense of their want 
 of spirituality, and saw the need they stood in of grow- 
 ing in grace. The greater part of those who had been 
 under any impressions of divine things in times past, 
 seemed now to l;ave those impressions revived. 
 
 " In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in
 
 1746.J A CONVERT. 225 
 
 my usual method : but, while we were engaged in the 
 first prayer in the Indian language, as usual, a great 
 part of the assembly was so much moved and affected 
 witli divine things that I thought it seasonable and 
 proper to omit the proposing of questions for that time, 
 and to insist upon the most practical truths. I ac- 
 cordingly did so ; making a further improvement of 
 the passage of Scripture on which I had discoursed in 
 the former part of the day. There appeared to be a 
 powerful divine influence in the congregation. Seve- 
 ral who, as I have reason to think, are truly pious, 
 were so deeply affected with a sense of their own bar- 
 renness, and their unworthy treatment of the blessed 
 Redeemer, that they looked on him as pierced by them- 
 selves, and mourned, yea, some of them were in bit- 
 terness, as for a first-born. 
 
 " Some poor awakened sinners, also, appeared to be 
 in anguish of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; so 
 that there was a great mourning- in the assembly : 
 many heavy groans, sobs, and tears ! and one or two, 
 newly come among us, were considerably awakened. 
 
 " Methinks it would have, refreshed the heart of any, 
 who truly love Zion's interests, to have been in the 
 midst of this divine influence, and seen the effects of it 
 upon saints and sinners. The place of divine worship 
 appeared both solemn and sweet ; and was so endeared 
 by a display of the divine presence and grace that 
 those who had any relish for divine things could not 
 but cry, ' How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of 
 Hosts !' After public worship was over, numbers came 
 to my house, where we sang and discoursed of divine 
 things ; and the presence of God seemed here also to 
 be in the midst of us. 
 
 " While we were singing there was one individual, 
 
 Brainerd. 15
 
 226 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 the woman mentioned in my journal of February 9 
 who, I may venture to say, if I may be allowed to say 
 so much of any person I ever saw, was ' filled with joy 
 unspeakable and full of glory ;' and could not but burst 
 forth in prayer and praises to God before us all, with 
 many tears ; crying, sometimes in English and some- 
 times in Indian, ' O blessed Lord! do come, do come! 
 
 do take me away; do let me die, and go to Jesus 
 Christ ! I am afraid if I live I shall sin again. O do 
 let me die now I O dear Jesus, do come ! I cannot stay, 
 
 1 cannot stay ! O how can I live in this world ; do take 
 my soul away from this sinful place ! O let me never sin 
 any more ! O what shall 1 do, what shall I do, dear Je- 
 sus. O dear Jesus!' In this ecstacy she continued 
 some time, uttering these and similar expressions in- 
 cessantly. The grand argument she used with God to 
 take her away immediately was, that 'if she lived, she 
 should sin against him.' When she had a little recov- 
 ered herself, I asked her if Christ was now sweet to 
 her soul ? Whereupon, turning to me with tears in her 
 eyes, and with all the tokens of deep humility I ever 
 saw in any person, she said, 'I have many times heard 
 you speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, 
 that he was better than all the world. But O I knew 
 nothing what you meant. I never believed you, I nev- 
 er believed you ! But now I know it is true;' or words 
 to that effect. I answered, 'And do you see enough in 
 Christ for the greatest of sinners?' She replied, 'O 
 enough, enough for all the sinners in the world, if they 
 would but come.' When I asked her, 'If she could 
 not tell them of the goodness of Christ.' Turning 
 herself about to some Christless souls, who stood by, 
 and were much affected, she said, 'O there is enough 
 in Christ for you if you would but come. O strive
 
 1746' A CONVERT. 227 
 
 strive to give up your hearts to him,' &c. On hearing 
 something of the glory of heaven mentioned, that 
 there was no sin in that world ; she again fell into the 
 same ecstacy of joy and desire of Christ's coming; re- 
 peating her former expressions, ' O dear Lord, do let 
 me go ! O what shall I do ; what shall I do. I want 
 to go to Christ. I cannot live. O do let me die," &c. 
 
 "She continued in this sweet frame for more than two 
 hours before she was able to get home. I am very 
 sensible that there may be great joys, arising even to 
 an ecstasy, where there is still no substantial evidence 
 of their being well grounded. But in the present case 
 there seemed to be no evidence wanting in order to 
 prove this joy to be divine ; either in regard to its pre- 
 paratives, attendants, or consequents. 
 
 "Of all the persons whom I have seen under spiritual 
 exercise I scarcely ever saw one appear more bowed 
 and broken under convictions of sin and misery, or 
 what is usually called a preparatory work, than this 
 woman ; nor scarcely any who seemed to have a 
 greater acquaintance with their own heart than she 
 had. She would frequently complain to me of the 
 hardness and rebellion of her heart. Would tell me 
 that her heart rose and quarrelled with God, when 
 she thought he would do with her as he pleased, and 
 send her to hell, notwithstanding her prayers, good 
 frames, &c., and that her heart was not willing to 
 come to Christ for Salvation, but tried every where 
 else for help. As she seemed to be remarkably sensi- 
 ble of her stubbornness and contrariety to God, under 
 conviction, so she appeared to be no less remarkably 
 bowed and reconciled to his sovereignty, before she 
 obtained any reliefer comfort; something of which I 
 have noticed in my journal of Feb. 9. Since that time
 
 228 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIJl- 
 
 she has seemed constantly to breathe the temper and 
 spirit of the new creature; crying after Christ, not 
 through fear of hell as before, but with strong desires 
 after him as her only satisfying portion ; and has many 
 times wept and sobbed bitterly because, as she appre- 
 hended, she did not and could not love him. When I 
 have sometimes asked her why she appeared so sor- 
 rowful, and whether it was because she was afraid of 
 hell ; she would answer ' No, I be not distressed about 
 that ; but my heart is so wicked I cannot love Christ;' 
 and thereupon burst into tears. But although this has 
 been the habitual frame of her mind for several weeks 
 together, so that the execcise of grace appeared evident 
 to others ; yet she seemed wholly insensible to it her- 
 self, and never had any remarkable comfort and sensi- 
 ble satisfaction until this evening. 
 
 "This sweet and surprising ecstasy appeared to 
 spring from a true spiritual discovery of the glory, 
 ravishing beauty, and excellency of Christ ; and not 
 from any gross imaginary notions of his human nature, 
 such as that of seeing him in such a place, or posture, 
 as hanging on the cross, as bleeding and dying, as gent- 
 ly smiling, and the like ; which delusions some have 
 been carried away with. Nor did it rise from sordid 
 selfish apprehensions of her having any benefit what- 
 soever conferred on her ; but from a view of his per- 
 sonal excellency and transcendant loveliness ; which 
 drew forth those vehement desires of enjoying him 
 which she now manifested, and made her long 'to be 
 absent from the body, that she might be present with 
 the Lord.' 
 
 "The attendants of this ravishing comfort were such 
 as abundantly discovered its spring to be divine; and 
 that it was truly 'a joy in the Holy Ghost.' Now she
 
 1746. ) CONVERT. 229 
 
 viewed divine truths as living realities, and could say, 
 'I know these things are so ; I feel that they are true!' 
 Now her soul was resigned to the divine will in the 
 most tender point; so that when I said to her, 'What 
 if God should take away your husband from you, who 
 was then very sick, how do you think you could bear 
 that?' She replied, ' He belongs to God, and not to me ; 
 he may do with him just as he pleases.' Now she had 
 the most tender sense of the evil of sin, and discover- 
 ed the utmost aversion to it, longing to die, that she 
 might be delivered from it. Now she could freely 
 trust her all with God for time and eternity. When I 
 questioned her, 'How she would be willing to die and 
 leave her little infant ; and what she thought would be- 
 come of it in that case?' she answered, ' God will take 
 care of it. It belongs to him. He will take care of 
 it.' Now she appeared to have the most humbling 
 sense of her own meanness and unworthiness, her 
 weakness and inability to preserve herself from sin, 
 and to persevere in the way of holiness, crying, ' If I 
 live I shall sin.' I then thought that I had never seen 
 such an appearance of ecstacy and humility meeting 
 in any one person in all my life before. 
 
 "The consequents of this joy are no less desirable 
 and satisfactory than its attendants. She since appears 
 to be a most tender, broken-hearted, affectionate, de- 
 vout, and humble Christian ; as exemplary in life and 
 conversation as any person in my congregation. May 
 ahe still ' grow in grace and in the knowledge of Christ.' 
 
 March 10. " Toward night the Indians met togeth- 
 er, of their own accord, and sang, prayed, and discours- 
 ed of divine things among themselves; at which time 
 there was much affection among them. Some, who 
 are hopefully pious, appeared to be melted with divine
 
 230 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap VIII 
 
 things ; and some others seemed'much concerned for 
 their souls. Perceiving their engagement and affec- 
 tion in religious exercises, I went among them, and 
 prayed, and gave a word of exhortation ; and observed 
 two or three sornewhat affected and concerned, who 
 scarce ever appeared to be under any religious impres- 
 sions before. It seemed to be a day and evening of di- 
 vine power. Numbers retained the warm impressions 
 of divine things which had been made upon their minds 
 the day before. 
 
 March 14. " Was visited by a considerable number of 
 my people, and spent some time in religious exercises 
 with them. 
 
 March 15. "In the evening catechised. My peo- 
 ple answered the questions put to them with surpris- 
 ing readiness and judgment. There appeared some 
 warmth, and a feeling sense of divine things among 
 those who I have reason to hope are real Christians, 
 while I was discoursing upon peace of conscience and 
 joy in the Holy Ghost. These seemed quickened and 
 enlivened in divine service, though there was not so 
 much appearance of concern among those whom I 
 have reason to think in a Christless state. 
 
 Lord's day, March 16. "Preached to my congre- 
 gation from Hebrews, 2 : 1-3. Divine truth seemed to 
 have some considerable influence upon some of the 
 hearers, and produced many tears, as well as heavy 
 sighs and sobs, among those who have given evidence 
 of being real Christians, and others also. The im- 
 pressions made upon the audience appeared in general 
 deep and heart-affecting ; not superficial, noisy and af- 
 fected. 
 
 " Toward night discoursed again on the Great Sal- 
 vation. The word was again attended with some pow-
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 231 
 
 er upon the audience. Numbers wept affectionately, 
 and to appearance unfeignedly ; so that the Spirit of 
 God seemed to be moving upon the face of the assem- 
 bly. The woman mentioned in my journal of last 
 Lord's day made a profession of her faith, and appear- 
 ed to be in a devout, humble, and excellent frame of 
 mind. 
 
 "My house being thronged with my people in the 
 evening; I spent the time in religious exercises with 
 them until my nature was almost spent. They are so 
 unwearied in religious exercises, and insatiable in their 
 thirsting after Christian knowledge, that I can some- 
 times scarcely avoid laboring so as greatly to exhaust 
 my strength and spirits. 
 
 March 19. " Several of the persons who went with 
 me to the Forks of Delaware in February last, having 
 been detained there by the dangerous illness of one of 
 their company, returned home but this day. Where- 
 upon my people generally met together of their own 
 accord, in order to spend some time in religious exer- 
 cises ; and especially to give thanks to God for his pre- 
 serving goodness to those who had been absent from 
 them for several weeks, and recovering mercy to him 
 who had been sick; and that he had now returned them 
 all in safety. As I was then absent; they desired my 
 school-master to assist them in carrying on their reli- 
 gious solemnity ; who tells me that they appeared en- 
 gaged and affectionate in repeated prayer, singing, &c. 
 
 March 22. " Catechised in my usual method in the 
 evening. My people answered questions to my great 
 satisfaction. There appeared nothing very remarkable 
 in the assembly, considering what has been common 
 among us. Although I may justly say the strict atten- 
 tion, the tenderness and affection, the many tears an^
 
 232 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 heart-affecting sobs, appearing in numbers in the assem- 
 bly, would have been very remarkable, were it not that 
 God has made these things common among us, and 
 even with strangers soon after their coming among us, 
 from time to time. I am far from thinking that every 
 appearance and particular instance of affection that 
 has been among us, has been truly genuine, and purely 
 from a divine influence. I am sensible of the contrary ; 
 and doubt not but there has been some corrupt mixture, 
 some chaff as well as wheat ; especially since religious 
 concern has become so common and prevalent here. 
 
 Lord's day, March 23. " There being aboul fifteen 
 strangers, adult persons, come among us in the week 
 past, several of whom had never been in any religious 
 meeting till now; I thought it proper to discourse this 
 day in a manner peculiarly' suited to their circumstan 
 ces and capacities ; and accordingly attempted it from 
 Hosea, 13 : 9. ' O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself.' 
 In the forenoon I opened, in the plainest manner I 
 could, man's apostacy and ruined state, after having 
 spoken some things respecting the being and perfec- 
 tions of God, and his creation of man in a state of up- 
 rightness and happiness. In the afternoon endeavored 
 to open the glorious provision God has made for the 
 redemption of apostate creatures, by giving his own 
 dear Son to suffer for them and satisfy divine justice 
 on their behalf. There was not that affection and con- 
 cern in the assembly which has been common among 
 us ; although there was a desirable attention appearing 
 in general, and even in most of the strangers. 
 
 " Near sun-set I felt an uncommon concern upon my 
 mind, especially for the poor strangers; that God had 
 so much withheld his presence and the powerful influ- 
 ence of his Spirit from the assembly in the exercises
 
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSCNG. 
 
 of the day ; and thereby withheld from them that de- 
 gree of conviction which I hoped they might have had. 
 In this frame I visited several houses, and discours- 
 ed with some concern and affection to several per- 
 sons particularly; but without much appearance of 
 success till I came to a house where several of the 
 strangers were. There the solemn truths on which I 
 discoursed appeared to take effect; first upon some 
 children; then upon several adult persons who had 
 been somewhat awakened before ; and afterward up- 
 on several of the Pagan strangers. 
 
 " I continued my discourse, with some fervency, un- 
 til almost every one in the house was melted into tears, 
 and many wept aloud, and appeared earnestly concern- 
 ed to obtain an interest in Christ. Upon this, numbers 
 soon gathered from all the houses round about ; and 
 so thronged the place that we were obliged to remove 
 to the house where we usually met for public worship. 
 The congregation gathered immediately, and many ap- 
 pearing remarkably affected, I discoursed some time 
 from Luke, 19 : 10 ; endeavoring to open the mercy, 
 compassion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, 
 and undone sinners. There was much visible concern 
 and affection in the assembly ; and I doubt not but that 
 a divine influence accompanied what was spoken to 
 the hearts of many. There were five or six of the 
 strangers, men and women, who appeared to be con- 
 siderably awakened ; and, in particular, one very rug- 
 ged young man, who seemed as if nothing would move 
 him, was now brought to tremble like the jailor, and 
 weep for a long time. 
 
 "The Pagans who were awakened, seemed at once 
 to put off their savage roughness and Pagan manners, 
 and became sociable, orderly and humane in their car-
 
 234 MFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 riage. When they first came. 1 exhorted my religious 
 people to take pains with them as they had done with 
 other strangers from time to time, to instruct them in 
 Christianity. But when some of them attempted 
 something of that nature, the strangers would soon rise 
 up and walk to other houses in order to avoid the hear- 
 ing of such discourses. Whereupon some of the se- 
 rious persons agreed to disperse themselves into the 
 several parts of the settlement ; so that wherever the 
 strangers went, they met with some instructive dis- 
 course, and warm addresses respecting their salvation. 
 But now there was no need of using policy, in order 
 to get an opportunity of conversing with some of them 
 about their spiritual concerns; for they were so far 
 touched with a sense of their perishing state, as made 
 them voluntarily yield to the closest addresses which 
 were made them,respecting their sin and misery, their 
 need of an acquaintance with, and interest in the great 
 Redeemer. 
 
 March 24. "Numbered the Indians to see how ma- 
 ny souls God had gathered together here since my 
 coming into these parts ; and found there were now 
 about an hundred and thirty persons together, old and 
 young. Several of those, who are my stated hearers, 
 perhaps to the number of fifteen or twenty, were absent 
 at this season. If all had been together the number 
 would now have been very considerable; especially 
 considering how few were* together at my first coining 
 into this part of the country: the whole number not 
 amounting to ten persons at that time. 
 
 " My people went out this day with the design of 
 clearing some of their land, above fifteen miles distant 
 from this settlement, in order to their settling there in 
 a compact form, where they might be under the advan-
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 235 
 
 tages of attending the public worship of God, of hav- 
 ing their children taught in a school, and at the same 
 time have a conveniency for planting: their land, in 
 the place of our present residence, being of little or no 
 value for that purpose. The design of their settling 
 thus in a body, and cultivating their lands, of which 
 they have done very little in their Pagan state, being 
 of such necessity and importance to their religious in- 
 terest as well as worldly comfort; I thought it proper 
 to call them together, and show them the duty of labor- 
 ing with faithfulness and industry, and that they must 
 not now 'be slothful in business,' as they had ever been 
 in their Pagan state. I endeavored to press the impor- 
 tance of their being laborious, diligent, and vigorous 
 in the prosecution of their business; especially at the 
 present juncture, the season of planting being now 
 near, in order to their being in a capacity of living to- 
 gether, and enjoying the means of grace and instruc- 
 tion. Having given them directions for their work, 
 which they very much wanted, as well as for their be- 
 havior in divers respects ; I explained, sang, and en- 
 deavored to inculcate upon them Dr. Watts' Psalm, 
 
 If God to build the house deny &c. 
 
 and having recommended them, and the design of their 
 going forth, to God, by prayer with them, I dismissed 
 them to their business. 
 
 " In the evening read and expounded to those of my 
 people who were yet at home, and to the strangers 
 newly come, the substance of the 3d chapter of the 
 Acts. Numbers seemed to melt under the word ; espe- 
 cially while I was discoursing upon verse 19. ' Repent 
 ye, therefore, and be converted,' &c. Several of the 
 strangers also were affected. When I asked them afterr
 
 236 LIFE OP BRA1NERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 ward, whether they did not now feel that their heart? 
 were wicked, as I had taught them ; one of them re- 
 plied, ' Yes, she felt it now.' Although before she 
 came here, upon hearing that I taught the Indians that 
 their hearts were all bad by nature, and needed to be 
 changed and made good by the power of God ; she had 
 said, ' Her heart was not wicked, and she had never 
 done any thing that was bad in her life.' This, indeed, 
 seems to be the case with them, I think universally, in 
 their pagan state. They seem to have no conscious- 
 ness of sin and guilt, unless they can charge them- 
 selves with some gross acts of sin contrary to the com- 
 mands of the second table.' 
 
 March 27. " Discoursed to a number of my people 
 in one of their houses in a more private manner. In- 
 quired particularly into their spiritual states, in order 
 to see what impressions they were under. Laid before 
 them the marks of a regenerate, as well as of an unre- 
 generate state ; and endeavored to suit and direct my 
 discourse to them severally, according as I appre- 
 hended their states to be. There were a considerable 
 number gathered together before I finished my dis- 
 course ; and several seemed much affected while I was 
 urging the necessity and infinite importance of getting 
 into a renewed state. I find particular and close deal- 
 ing with souls in private is often very successful. 
 
 March 29. " In the evening catechised, as usual 
 upon Saturday. Treated upon the benefits which be- 
 lievers receive from Christ at death. The questions 
 were answered with great readiness and propriety; 
 and those who I have reason to think are the dear 
 people of God were in general sweetly melted. There 
 appeared such a liveliness and vigor in their attendance 
 upon the word of God, and such eagerness to be made
 
 1746.] AT CROS3WEEKSUNQ. 237 
 
 partakers of the benefits mentioned, that they seemed 
 not only to be ' looking for,' but ' hasting to, the com 
 ing of the day of God.' Divine truths seemed to distil 
 upon the audience with a gentle but melting efficacy, 
 as the refreshing ' showers upon the new mown grass.' 
 The assembly in general, as well as those who appear 
 truly religious, were affected with some brief accounts 
 of the blessedness of the godly at death ; and most of 
 them then discovered an affectionate inclination to cry 
 ' Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last 
 end be like his j' although many were not duly en- 
 gaged to obtain the change of heart that is necessary 
 to that blessed end. 
 
 Lord's day, March 30. " Discoursed from Matt. 25 : 
 3140. There was a very considerable moving, and 
 affectionate melting, in the assembly. I hope that there 
 were some real, deep, and abiding impressions of divine 
 things made upon the minds of many. There was one 
 aged man, newly come among us, who appeared to be 
 considerably awakened that never was touched with 
 any concern for his soul before. In the evening cate- 
 chised. There was not that tenderness and melting 
 engagement among God's people which appeared the 
 evening before, and many other times. They answered 
 the questions distinctly, and well, and were devout and 
 attentive in divine service. 
 
 March 31. " Called my people together, as I had 
 done the Monday evening before, and discoursed to 
 them again on the necessity and importance of labor- 
 ing industriously in order to their living together, and 
 enjoying the means of grace, &c. Having engaged in 
 a solemn prayer to God among them for a blessing 
 upon their attempts, I dismissed them to their work. 
 Numbers of them, both men and women, seemed to
 
 238 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 offer themselves willingly to this service ; and some 
 appeared affectionately concerned that God might go 
 with them, and begin their little town for them ; that 
 by his blessing it might be a place comfortable for 
 them and theirs, with regard both to procuring the 
 necessaries of life and to attending on the worship 
 of God. 
 
 April 5. " Catechised in the evening. There ap- 
 peared to be some affection and fervent engagement in 
 divine service through the assembly in general ; espe- 
 cially toward the conclusion of my discourse. After 
 public worship a number of those who I have reason 
 to think are truly religious came to my house, and 
 seemed eager for some farther entertainment upon di- 
 vine things. While I was conversing with them about 
 their scriptural exercises ; observing to them, that God's 
 work in the hearts of all his children was, for substance 
 the same ; and that their trials and temptations were 
 also alike ; and showing the obligations such were un- 
 der to love one another in a peculiar manner, they 
 seemed to be melted into tenderness and affection to- 
 ward each other. I thought that this particular tokeu 
 of their being the disciples of Christ, viz. of their hav- 
 ing love one toward another, had scarcely ever ap 
 peared more evident than at this time. 
 
 Lord's day, April 6. " Preached from Matt. 7 : 21- 
 23. There were considerable effects of the word visi- 
 ble in the audience, and such as were very desirable ; 
 an earnest attention, a great solemnity, many tears 
 and heavy sighs, which were modestly suppressed in 
 a considerable measure, and appeared unaffected and 
 without any indecent commotion of the passions. 
 Numbers of the religious people were put upon serious 
 and close examination of their spiritual state by hear-
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 239 
 
 ing that ' not every one that saith to Christ, Lord, Lord, 
 shall enter into his kingdom.' Some expressed fears 
 lest they had deceived themselves, and taken up a false 
 hope, because they found they had done so little of the 
 will of his Father who is in heaven. 
 
 " There was one man brought under a very great 
 and pressing concern for his soul; which appeared 
 more especially after his retirement from public wor- 
 ship. That which he says gave him his great uneasi- 
 ness was, not so much any particular sin, as that he 
 had never done the will of God at all, but had sinned 
 continually, and so had no claim to' the kingdom of 
 heaven. In the afternoon I opened to them the disci- 
 pline of Christ in his Church, and the method in which 
 offenders are to be dealt with ; at which time the re- 
 ligious people were much affected ; especially when 
 they heard that the offender, continuing obstinate, must 
 finally be esteemed and treated ' as an heathen man,' 
 as a pagan, who has no part nor lot among God's visi- 
 ble people. Of this they seemed to have the most awful 
 apprehensions ; a state of heathenism, out of which 
 they were so lately brought, appearing very dreadful 
 to them. 
 
 " After public worship I visited several houses to 
 see how they spent the remainder of the Sabbath, and 
 to treat with them solemnly on the great concerns of 
 their souls. The Lord seemed to smile upon my pri- 
 vate endeavors, and to make these particular and per- 
 sonal addresses more effectual upon some than my 
 public discourses. 
 
 April 7. " Discoursed to my people in the evening, 
 from 1 Cor. 11 : 23-26. Endeavored to open to them 
 the institution, nature, and ends of the Lord's Supper, 
 as well as of the qualifications and preparations neces-
 
 240 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 sary to the right participation of that ordinance. Num- 
 bers appeared much affected with the love of Christ? 
 manifested in his making this provision for the comfort 
 of his people, at a season when himself was just enter- 
 ing upon his sharpest sufferings. 
 
 Lord's day, April 20. " Discoursed, both forenoon 
 and afternoon, from Luke, 24 ; explaining most of 
 the chapter, and making remarks upon it. There was 
 a desirable attention in the audience ; though there was 
 not so much appearance of affection and tenderness 
 among them as had been usual. Our meeting was very 
 full ; there being sundry strangers present who had 
 never been with us before. 
 
 " In the evening catechised. My people answered 
 the questions proposed to them readily and distinctly ; 
 and I could perceive that they advanced in their know- 
 ledge of the principles of Christianity. There appeared 
 an affectionate melting in the assembly at this time. 
 Several, who I trust are truly religious, were refreshed 
 and quickened, and seemed by their discourse and 
 behavior after public worship to have their ' hearts 
 knit together in love.' This was a sweet and blessed 
 season, like many others with which my poor people 
 have been favored in months past. God has caused 
 this Kttle Jleece to be repeatedly wet with the blessed 
 dew of his divine grace, while all the earth around has 
 been comparatively dry. 
 
 April 25 " Set apart this day, as preparatory to the 
 administration of the Lord's Supper, for solemn fasting 
 and prayer. The design was to implore the blessing 
 of God upon our renewing covenant with him, and 
 with one another, to walk together in the fear of God, 
 in love and Christian fellowship, and to entreat that his 
 presence might be with us in our designed approach to
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNQ. 241 
 
 his table ; as well as to humble ourselves before God on 
 account ol the apparent withdrawment, at least in a 
 measure, of that blessed influence which has been so 
 prevalent upon persons of all ages among us ; as also 
 on account of the rising appearance of carelessness, 
 vanity, and vice, among some who once appeared to 
 be touched and affected with divine truth, and brought 
 to some sensibility of their miserable and perishing 
 state by nature. It was also designed that we might 
 importunately pray for the peaceable settlement of the 
 Indians together in a body ; that they might be a com- 
 modious congregation for the worship of God ; and 
 that God would defeat all the attempts that were, or 
 might be, made against that pious design.* 
 
 " The solemnity was observed and seriously attend- 
 ed, not only by those who proposed to commune at 
 the Lord's table, but by the whole congregation. In 
 the former part of the day I endeavored to open to 
 my people the nature and design of a fast, as I had 
 attempted more briefly to do before, and to instruct 
 them in the duties of such a solemnity. In the after- 
 noon I insisted on the special reasons there were for 
 our engaging in these solemn exercises at this time ; 
 both in regard to the need we stood in of divine assist- 
 ance, in order to a due preparation for that sacred 
 ordinance, upon which some of us were proposing, 
 
 * There was at this time a terrible clamor raised against the 
 Indians in various places in the country, and insinuations as 
 though I was training them up to cut people's throats. Num- 
 bers wished to h?.ve them banished from these parts, and some 
 gave out great words in order to fright and deter them from 
 settling upon the best and most convenient tract of their own 
 lands; threatening to trouble them in the law; pretending a 
 claim to these lands themselves, although never purchased of 
 the Indians. 
 
 Brainerd. 16
 
 242 LlfE OP BHAINERD. \_Chap. VIII, 
 
 with leave of divine Providence, speedily to attend ; 
 and also in respect of the manifest decline of God's 
 work here, as to the effectual conviction and conver- 
 sion of sinners ; there having been few of late deeply 
 awakened out of a state of security. The worship of 
 God was attended with great solemnity and reverence, 
 with much tenderness and many tears, by those who 
 appeared to be truly religious ; and there was some ap- 
 pearance of divine power upon those who had been 
 awakened some time before, and who were still under 
 concern. 
 
 "After repeated prayer, and attendance upon the 
 word of God, I proposed to the religious people, with 
 as much brevity and plainness as I could, the substance 
 of the doctrine of the Christian faith, as I had formerly 
 done ; and had their renewed cheerful assent to it. I 
 then led them to a solemn renewal of their covenant, 
 wherein they had explicitly and publicly given up 
 themselves to God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, 
 avouching him to be their God ; and at the same time 
 renouncing their heathenish vanities, their idolatrous 
 and superstitious practices ; solemnly engaging to take 
 the Word of God, so far as it was or might be made 
 known to them, for the rule of their lives ; promising 
 to walk together in love, to watch over themselves and 
 one another, to lead lives of seriousness and devotion, 
 and to discharge the relative duties incumbent on them 
 respectively, &c. This solemn transaction was attend- 
 ed with much gravity and seriousness ; and at the same 
 time with the utmost readiness, freedom and cheerful- 
 ness ; and a religious union and harmony of soul seem- 
 ed to crown the whole solemnity. I could not but 
 think in the evening, that there had been manifest 
 tokens of the divine presence with us in all the severa.
 
 1746.] THE LORD'S SUPPER. 243 
 
 services of the day ; though it was also manifest that 
 there was not that concern among Christless souls 
 which has often appeared here. 
 
 April 26. " Toward noon prayed with a.dying child, 
 and gave a word of exhortation to the bystanders to 
 prepare for death; which seemed to take effect upon 
 some. In the afternoon discoursed to my people from 
 Matthew, 26 : 26-30; of the author, the nature, and de- 
 signs of the Lord's supper; and endeavored to point 
 out the worthy receivers of that ordinance. The re- 
 ligious people were affected, and even melted with di- 
 vine truth, with a view of the dying love of Christ. 
 Several others, who had been for some months under 
 convictions of their perishing state, appeared now to 
 be much moved with concern, and afresh engaged in 
 seeking after an interest in Christ ; although I cannot 
 say that the word of God appeared so quick and pow- 
 erful, so sharp and piercing to the assembly, as it had 
 sometimes formerly done. 
 
 "In the evening I catechised those who were de- 
 signed to partake of the Lord's supper the next day, 
 upon the institution, nature and end of that ordinance ; 
 and had abundant satisfaction respecting their doctri- 
 nal knowledge and fitness in that respect for an attend- 
 ance upon it. They likewise appeared in general to 
 have an affecting sense of the solemnity of this sacred 
 ordinance, and to be humbled under a sense of their 
 own unworthiness to approach to God in it ; and to be 
 earnestly concerned that they might be duly prepared 
 for an attendance upon it. Their hearts were full of 
 love one toward another, and that was the frame of 
 mind they seemed concerned to maintain and bring to 
 the Lord's table with them. In the singing and prayer 
 after catechising, there appeared an agreeable tender-
 
 244 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 ness and melting among them; and such tokens of 
 brotherly love and affection as would even constrain 
 one to say, ' Lord, it is good to be here ;' it is good to 
 dwell where such an heavenly influence distills. 
 
 Lord's day, April 27. " Preached from Tit. 2: 14; 
 'Who gave himself for us,' &c. The word of God, at 
 this time, was attended with some appearance of divine 
 power upon the assembly; so that the attention and 
 gravity of the audience were remarkable; and espe- 
 cially toward the conclusion of the exercise, many per- 
 sons were much affected. Administered the Lord's 
 supper to twenty three persons of the Indians, the num- 
 ber of the men and women being nearly equal ; seve- 
 ral others, to the number of Jive or sir, being now ab- 
 sent at the Forks of Delaware, who would otherwise 
 have communed with us. The ordinance was attend- 
 ed with great solemnity, and with a most desirable ten- 
 derness and affection. It was remarkable that during 
 the administration of the ordinance, especially in the 
 distribution of the bread, they seemed to be affected in 
 a most lively manner, as if Christ had been really cru- 
 cified before them. The words of the institution, when 
 repeated and enlarged upon in the season of the ad- 
 ministration, seemed to meet with the same reception, 
 to be entertained with the same free and full belief and 
 affectionate engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus 
 Christ himself had been present, and had personally 
 spoken to them. The affections of the communicants, 
 although considerably raised, were, notwithstanding, 
 agreeably regulated and kept within proper bounds. 
 So that there was a sweet, gentle, and affectionate melt- 
 ing, without any indecent or boisterous commotion of 
 the passions. 
 
 " Having rested sometime after the administration
 
 1746.] THE LORD'S SUPPER. 245 
 
 of the Supper, being extremely tired with the necessary 
 prolixity of the work, I walked from house to house, 
 and conversed particularly with most of the commu- 
 nicants, and found they had been almost universally 
 refreshed at the Lord's table, ' as with new wine.' Nev- 
 er did I see such an appearance of Christian love 
 among any people in all my life. It was so remarka- 
 ble, that one might well have cried with an agreeable 
 surprise, ' Behold how they love one another.' I think 
 there could be no greater tokens of mutual affection 
 among the people of God, in the early days of Chris- 
 tianity, than what now appeared here. The sight was 
 so desirable, and so well becoming the gospel, that no- 
 thing less could be said of it than it was ' the doing of 
 the Lord,' the genuine operation of Him, ' who is Love.' 
 
 " Toward night discoursed again on the foremention- 
 ed text, Tit. 2 : 14 ; and insisted on the immediate end 
 and design of Christ's death : viz. That he might re- 
 deem his people from all iniquity, &c. This appeared 
 to be a season of divine power among us. The religi- 
 ous people were much refreshed, and seemed remark- 
 ably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy, and peace, 
 and desirous of being completely ' redeemed from all 
 iniquity ;' so that some of them afterward told me that 
 ' they had never felt the like before.' Convictions also 
 appeared to be revived in many instances ; and several 
 persons were awakened whom I had never observed 
 under any religious impressions before. 
 
 " Such was the influence which attended our assem- 
 bly, and so unspeakably desirable the frame of mind 
 which many enjoyed in divine service, that it seemed 
 almost grievous to conclude the public worship. The 
 congregation, when dismissed, although it was then 
 almost dark, appeared loth to leave the place and em-
 
 246 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. V1IL 
 
 ployments which had been rendered so dear to them 
 by the benefits enjoyed, while a blessed quickening in- 
 fluence distilled upon them. Upon the whole. I must 
 say, I had great satisfaction relative to the administra- 
 tion of this ordinance in various respects. I have abun- 
 dant reason to think, that those who came to the Lord's 
 table had a good degree of doctrinal knowledge of the 
 nature and design of the ordinance, and that they acted 
 with understanding in what they did. 
 
 " In the preparatory services I found, I may justly 
 say, uncommon freedom in opening to their under- 
 standings and capacities, the covenant of grace, and in 
 showing them the nature of this ordinance. They 
 were likewise thoroughly sensible that it was no more 
 than a sign, and not the real body and blood of Christ ; 
 that it was designed for the refreshment and edifica- 
 tion of the soul, and not for the feasting of the body. 
 They were also acquainted with the end of the ordi- 
 nance, that they were therein called to commemorate 
 the dying love of Christ. 
 
 " This competency of doctrinal knowledge, together 
 with their grave and decent attendance upon the ordi- 
 nance, their affectionate melting under it, and the sweet 
 and Christian frame of mind which they discovered 
 after it, gave me great satisfaction respecting my ad- 
 ministration of it to them. O, what a sweet and blessed 
 season was this ! God himself, I am persuaded, was in 
 the midst of his people. I doubt not but many, in the 
 conclusion of the day, could say with their whole 
 hearts, ' Verily, a day thus spent in God's house is 
 better than a thousand elsewhere.' There seemed to 
 be but one heart among the pious people. The sweet 
 union, harmony and endearing love and tenderness 
 subsisting among them was, I thought, the most lively
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 247 
 
 emblem of the heavenly world which I had ever seen. 
 
 April 28. " Concluded the solemnity of the Lord's 
 supper with a discourse upon John, 14 : 15. ' If ye 
 love me, keep my commandments.' At this time there 
 appeared a very agreeable tenderness in the audience 
 in general, but especially in the communicants. O, how 
 free, how engaged and affectionate did these appear in 
 the service of God ! they seemed willing to have their 
 ears bored to the door posts of God's house, and to be 
 his servants for ever. 
 
 " Observing numbers in this excellent frame, and the 
 assembly in general affected, and that by a divine in- 
 fluence, I thought it proper to improve this advanta- 
 geous season as Hezekiah did the desirable season of 
 his great passover, 2 Chron. 31, in order to promote 
 the blessed reformation begun among them ; and to en- 
 gage those that appeared serious and religious to per- 
 severe therein. Accordingly I proposed to them, that 
 they should renewedly enter into covenant before God, 
 that they would watch over themselves and one ano- 
 ther, lest they should dishonor the name of Christ by 
 falling into sinful and unbecoming practices ; and espe- 
 cially that they would watch against the sin of drunk- 
 enness, ' the sin that easily besets them,' and the temp- 
 tations leading thereto, as well as the appearance of evil 
 in that respect. They cheerfully complied with the pro- 
 posal, and explicitly joined in that covenant ; where- 
 upon I proceeded in the most solemn manner of which 
 I was capable, to call God to witness respecting their 
 sacred engagements, and reminded them of the great- 
 ness of the guilt they would contract to themselves in 
 the violation of it, as well as observed to them that God 
 would be a terrible witness against those, who should 
 presume to do so in the great and notable day of the
 
 248 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap-VlII. 
 
 Lord. It was a season of amazing solemnity ; and a 
 divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole assem- 
 bly in this transaction. Affectionate sobs, sighs and 
 tears were now frequent in the audience ; and I doubt 
 not but that many silent cries were then sent up to the 
 Fountain of grace for supplies of grace sufficient for 
 the fulfilment of these solemn engagements. 
 
 Lord's day, May 4. " My people being now remov- 
 ed to their lands, mentioned in my diary of March 24, 
 where they were then and have since been making 
 provision for a compact settlement, in order to their 
 more convenient enjoyment of the Gospel and other 
 means of instruction, as well as of the comforts of life ; 
 I this day visited them ; being now obliged to board 
 with an English family at some distance from them ; 
 and preached to them in the forenoon from Mark, 4 : 
 5. Endeavored to show them the reason there was to 
 fear, lest many promising appearances and hopeful be- 
 ginnings in religion might prove abortive, like the 
 seed dropped upon stony places. 
 
 " In the afternoon discoursed upon Rom. 8:9.' Now, 
 if any man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of 
 his.' I have reason to think this discourse was pecu- 
 liarly seasonable, and that it had a good effect upon 
 some of the hearers. Spent some hours afterward in 
 private conference with my people, and labored to re- 
 gulate some things which I apprehended amiss among 
 some of them. 
 
 May 5. " Visited my people again, and took care ol 
 their worldly concerns ; giving them directions rela- 
 ting to their business. I daily discover more and more 
 of what importance it is likely to be to their religious 
 interests, that they become laborious and industrious, 
 acquainted with the affairs of husbandry, and able in a
 
 1746.J AT CRANBERRY. 349 
 
 good measure to raise the necessaries and comforts of 
 life within themselves ; for their present method of 
 living greatly exposes them to temptations of various 
 kinds. 
 
 May 9. " Preached from John, 5 : 40, in the open 
 wilderness ; the Indians having as yet no house for 
 public worship in this place, nor scarcely any shelters 
 for themselves. Divine truths made considerable im- 
 pressions upon the audience, and it was a season of 
 great solemnity, tenderness, and affection. 
 
 " This day received into communion the conjurer, 
 murderer, &c. mentioned in my diary of August 8, 
 1745, and February 1, 1746, who appears to be such a 
 remarkable instance of divine grace that I cannot omit 
 to give some brief account of him here. He lived near, 
 and sometimes attended my meeting at the Forks of 
 Delaware, for more than a year ; but was, like many 
 others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, 
 and seemed to be in no degree reformed by the means 
 which I used with them for their instruction and con- 
 version. At this time he likewise murdered a likely 
 young Indian, which threw him into some kind of 
 horror and desperation, so that he kept at a distance 
 from me, and refused to hear me preach for several 
 months together, until I had an opportunity of con- 
 versing freely with him, and giving him encourage- 
 ment, that his sin might be forgiven, for Christ's sake. 
 After this he again attended my meeting sometimes. 
 
 " But that which was the worst of all his conduct, 
 was his conjuration. He was one of those who are 
 sometimes called powaws among the Indians ; and, 
 notwithstanding his frequent attendance upon my 
 preaching, he still followed his old charms and jug- 
 gling tricks. ' giving out that himself was some great
 
 250 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 one, and to him they gave heed,' supposing him to be 
 possessed of great power. When I have instructed 
 them respecting the miracles wrought by Christ in 
 healing the sick, &c. and mentioned them as evidence 
 of his divine mission, and the truths of his doctrine ; 
 they have quickly observed the wonders of that kind 
 which this man had performed by his magic charms. 
 Hence they had a high opinion of him and his super- 
 stitious notions ; which seemed to be a fatal obstruc- 
 tion to some of them in regard to their receiving the 
 Gospel. I had often thought that it would be a great 
 favor to the design of evangelizing these Indians, if 
 God would take that wretch out of the world ; for I had 
 scarcely any hope of his ever becoming good. But 
 God, whose thoughts are not as man's thoughts, has 
 been pleased to take a much more desirable method 
 with him ; a method agreeable to his own merciful 
 nature, and I trust advantageous to his own interest 
 among the Indians, as well as effectual to the salvation 
 of his poor soul. To God be the glory of it. 
 
 l The first genuine concern for his soul was excited 
 by seeing my interpreter and his wife publicly profess 
 Christ, at the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745 ; which 
 so prevailed upon him, that with the invitation of an 
 Indian who was a friend to Christianity, he followed 
 me down to Crossweeksung, in the beginning of Au- 
 gust, in order to hear me preach ; and there continued 
 for several weeks in the season of the most remarkable 
 and powerful awakening among the Indians ; at which 
 time he was more effectually awakened, and brought 
 under great concern for his soul. And then, he says, 
 upon his ' feeling the word of God in his heart,' as he 
 expresses it, his spirit of conjuration left him entirely, 
 so that he has had no more power of that nature since.
 
 1740. J CONVERSION OF A CONJURER. 231 
 
 than any other man living. He also declares, that he 
 does not now so much as know how he used to charm 
 and conjure, and that he could not now do any thing 
 of that nature if he were ever so desirous of it. 
 
 " He continued under convictions of his sinful and 
 perishing state, and a considerable degree of concern 
 for his soul, all the fall and the former part of the win- 
 ter past ; but was not so deeply exercised until some 
 time in January. Then the word of God took such 
 hold upon him that he was brought into deep distress, 
 and knew not -what to do, nor where to turn himself. 
 He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach 
 from time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching 
 pricked his heart, and made him very uneasy, but did 
 not bring him to so great distress, because he still 
 hoped he could do something for his own relief ; but 
 now, he said, I drove him up in such a sharp corner, 
 that he had no way to turn, and could not avoid being 
 in distress. He continued constantly under the heavy 
 burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, until at length 
 he was brought into the acute anguish and utmost 
 agony of soul, mentioned in my Journal of February 
 1, which continued that night and part of the next day. 
 After this he was brought to the utmost calmness and 
 composure of mind ; his trembling and heavy burden 
 were removed ; and he appeared perfectly sedate, al- 
 though he had to his apprehensions scarcely any hope 
 of salvation. 
 
 " I observed him to appear remarkably composed ; 
 and therefore asked him how he did ? He replied, 
 ( It is done, it is done, it is all done now.' I asked him 
 what he meant? He answered, 'I can never do any 
 more to save myself; it is all done for ever. I can do 
 no more.' I queried with him, whether he could not
 
 252 LIFE OF BRAINERO. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 do a little more, rather than go to hell ? He replied, 
 ' my heart is dead. I can never help myself.' I asked 
 him what he thought would become of him then ? 
 He answered, ' I must go to hell.' I asked him if he 
 thought it was right that God should send him to hell? 
 He replied, 'O it is right. The devil has been in me 
 ever since I was born.' I asked him if he felt this when 
 he was in such great distress the evening before ? He 
 answered, ' No ; I did not then think it was right. I 
 thought God would send me to hell, and that I was 
 then dropping into it; but my heart quarrelled with 
 God, and would not say it was right he should send 
 me there. But now I know it is right ; for I have al- 
 ways served the devil ; and my heart has no goodness 
 in it now, but it is as bad as ever it was,' &c. I thought 
 I had scarcely ever seen any person more effectually 
 brought off from a dependance upon his own contri- 
 vances and endeavors for salvation, or more apparently 
 to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy, than this man 
 did under these views of things. 
 
 " In this frame of mind he continued for several 
 days, passing sentence of condemnation upon himself, 
 and constantly owning that it would be right he should 
 be damned, and that he expected this would be his 
 portion for the greatness of his sins. Yet it was plain 
 that he had a secret hope of mercy, though impercep- 
 tible to himself, which kept him not only from despair 
 but from any pressing distress : so that, instead of be- 
 ing sad and dejected, -his very countenance appeared 
 pleasant and agreeable. 
 
 " While he was in this frame he several times asked 
 me ' When I would preach again ? ' and seemed de- 
 sirous to hear the word of God every day. I asked, 
 ' Why he wanted to hear me preach, seeing his heart
 
 1746.] CONVERSION OP a CONJURER. 253 
 
 was dead, and all was done ; that he could never help 
 himself, and expected that he must go to hell ?' He 
 replied, 'I love to hear you speak about Christ for all.' 
 I added, ' But what good will that do you, if you must 
 go to hell at last ?' using now his own language with 
 him, having before from time to time labored in the 
 best manner I could to represent to him the excellency 
 of Christ, his all-sufficiency and willingness to save 
 lost sinners, and persons just in his case; although to 
 no purpose, as to yielding him any special comfort. 
 He answered, ' I would have others come to Christ, if 
 I must go to hell myself.' It was remarkable, that he 
 seemed to have a great love for the people of God ; and 
 nothing affected him so much as the thought of being 
 separated from them. This seemed to be a very dread- 
 ful part of the hell to which he saw himself doomed. 
 It was likewise remarkable, that in this season he was 
 most diligent in the use of all the means for the 
 soul's salvation ; although he had the clearest view of 
 the inefficiency of means to afford him help. He would 
 frequently say, that all he did signified nothing at all ; 
 and yet was never more constant in doing ; attending 
 secret and family prayer daily, and surprisingly dili- 
 gent and attentive in hearing the word of God ; so that 
 he neither despaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to 
 hope upon his own doings, but used means because 
 appointed of God in order to salvation ; and because 
 he would \vait upon God in his own way. 
 
 " After he had continued in this frame of mind more 
 than a week, while I was discoursing publicly, he 
 seemed to have a lively soul-refreshing view of the 
 excellency of Christ and the way of salvation by him, 
 which melted him into tears, and filled him with ad- 
 miration, comfort, satisfaction and praise to God.
 
 254 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 TSince then he has appeared to be a humble, devout 
 and affectionate Christian ; serious and exemplary in 
 his conversation and behavior, frequently complaining 
 of his barrenness, his want of spiritual warmth, life 
 and activity, and yet frequently favored with quicken- 
 ing and refreshing influences. In all respects, so far 
 as I am capable of judging, he bears the marks of 
 one 'created anew in Christ Jesus to good works.' 
 
 " His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to me 
 when he was with me at the Forks of Delaware in 
 February last. There being an old Indian at the place 
 where I preached who threatened to bewitch me, and 
 my religious people who accompanied me there ; this 
 man presently challenged him to do his worst, telling 
 him that himself had been as great a conjurer as he ; 
 and that notwithstanding, as soon as he felt that word 
 in his heart which these people loved, meaning the 
 word of God, his power of conjuring immediately left 
 him. ' And so it would you,' said he, ' if you did but 
 once feel it in your heart ; and you have no power to 
 hurt them, nor so much as to touch one of them,' &c. 
 So that I may conclude my account of him by observ- 
 ing, in allusion to what was said of St. Paul, that he 
 now zealously ' defends and practically preaches the 
 faith which he once destroyed,' or at least was instru- 
 mental in obstructing. May God have the glory of the 
 amazing change which he has wrought in him. 
 
 Lord's day, May 18. " Discoursed both parts of the 
 day from Rev. 3 : 20, ' Behold I stand at the door and 
 knock.' There appeared some affectionate melting 
 toward the conclusion of the forenoon exercise, and 
 one or two instances of fresh awakening. In the inter- 
 mission of public worship I took occasion to discourse 
 to numbers in a more private way, on the kindness
 
 1746.J AT CRANBERRY. 255 
 
 and patience of the blessed Redeemer in standing and 
 knocking, in continuing his gracious calls to sinners, 
 who had long neglected and abused his grace ; which 
 seemed to take some effect upon several. 
 
 "In the afternoon divine truth was attended with so- 
 lemnity, and with some tears ; although there was not 
 that powerful awakening and quickening influence 
 which in times past has been common in our assemblies. 
 The appearance of the audience was comparatively dis- 
 couraging, and I was ready to fear that God was about 
 to withdraw the blessed influence of his Spirit from us. 
 
 May 19. " Visited and preached to my people from 
 Acts, 20 : 18, 19, and endeavored to rectify their notions 
 about religious affections ; showing them on the one 
 hand the desirableness of religious affection, tenderness 
 and fervent engagement in the worship and service of 
 God, when such affection flows from a true spiritual 
 discovery of divine glories, from a just sense of the 
 transcendant excellence and perfections of the blessed 
 God, and a view of the glory and loveliness of the 
 great Redeemer ; and that such views of divine things 
 will naturally excite us to 'serve the Lord with many 
 tears, with much affection and fervency, and yet with 
 all humility of mind.' On the other hand,I observed 
 the sinfulness of seeking after high affections imme- 
 diately and for their own sakes; that is, of making 
 them the object which our eye and heart is first and prin- 
 cipally set upon, when the glory of God ought to be that 
 object. Showed them,that, if the heart be directly and 
 chiefly fixed on God, and the soul engaged to glorify 
 him, some degree of religious affection will be the ef- 
 fect and attendant of it. But to seek after affection 
 directly and chiefly ; to have the heart principally set 
 upon that ; is to place it in the room of God and his
 
 If 
 
 256 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIIJ. 
 
 glory. If it be sought, that others may take notice of 
 it, and admire us for our spirituality and forwardness 
 in religion, it is then abominable pride ; if for the sake 
 of feeling the pleasure of being affected, it is then idol- 
 atry and self-gratification. Labored also to expose the 
 disagreeableness of those affections which aie some- 
 times wrought up in persons by the power of fancy, and 
 their own attempts for that purpose, while I still en- 
 deavored to recommend to them that religious affec- 
 tion, fervency and devotion which ought to attend all 
 our religious exercises, and without which religion will 
 be but an empty name and lifeless carcase. This ap- 
 peared to be a seasonable discourse, and proved very 
 satisfactory to some of the religious people who before 
 were exercised with some difficulties relating to this 
 point. Afterward took care of, and gave my people 
 directions about their worldly affairs. 
 
 May 24. "Visited the Indians, and took care of 
 their secular business ; which they are not able to man- 
 age themselves without the constant care and advice 
 of others. Afterward discoursed to some of them par- 
 ticularly about their spiritual concerns. Enjoyed this 
 day somewhat of the same frame of mind which I felt 
 the day before. 
 
 Lord's day, May 25. " Discoursed both parts of the 
 day from John, 12 : 44-48. There was some degree of 
 divine power attending the word of God. Several 
 wept, and appeared considerably affected, and one, who 
 had long been under spiritual trouble, now obtained 
 clearness and comfort, and appeared to rejoice in God 
 her Savior. It was a day of grace and divine good- 
 ness ; a day wherein something I trust was done for 
 the cause of God among my people ; a season of com- 
 fort and sweetness to numbers of the religious people ;
 
 1746.] AT CRANBERRY. 267 
 
 although there was not that influence upon the con- 
 gregation which was common some months ago. 
 
 Lord's day, June 1. ' Preached both forenoon and 
 afternoon from Matt. 11 : 27, 28. The presence of God 
 seemed to be in the assembly ; and numbers were con- 
 siderably melted and affected under divine truth. There 
 was a desirable appearance in the congregation in gene- 
 ral, an earnest attention and an agreeable tenderness ; 
 and it seemed as if God designed to visit us with fur- 
 ther showers of divine grace. I then received into 
 communion five persons ; and was not a little refreshed 
 with this addition made to the church of such as I hope 
 will be saved. I have reason to hope that God has late- 
 ly, at and since our celebration of the Lord's supper, 
 brought home to himself several persons who had long 
 been under spiritual trouble and concern; although 
 there have been few instances of persons lately awa- 
 kened out of a state of security. Those comforted of 
 late seem to be brought in, in a more silent way; nei- 
 ther their concern, nor consolation being so powerful 
 and remarkable as appeared among those more sudden- 
 ly wrought upon in the beginning of this work of grace. 
 
 June 7. " Being desired by the Rev. WILLIAM TEN- 
 NENT to be his assistant in the administration of the 
 Lord's Supper, I this morning rode to Freehold to ren- 
 der that assistance. My people also being invited to 
 attend at that solemnity, they cheerfully embraced the 
 opportunity, and this day attended the preparatory ser- 
 vices with me. 
 
 Lord's day, June 8. " Most of my people, who had 
 been communicants at the Lord's table, before being 
 present on this occasion, communed with others in the 
 holy ordinance, at the desire, and I trust to the satis- 
 faction and comfort of numbers of God's people, who 
 
 Brninord. 17
 
 258 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII- 
 
 had longed to see this day, and whose hearts had re- 
 joiced in this work of grace among the Indians, which 
 prepared the way for what appeared so agreeable at 
 this time. Those of my people who communed, seem- 
 ed in general agreeably affected at the Lord's table, 
 and some of them considerably melted with the love 
 of Christ, although they were not so remarkably re- 
 freshed and feasted at this time, as when I administered 
 this ordinance to them in our own congregation only. 
 Some of the by-stamlers were affected with seeing those 
 who had been 'aliens from the commonwealth of Is- 
 rael, and strangers to the covenant of promise,' who 
 of all men had lived ' without hope and without God 
 in the world,' now brought near to God, as his profess- 
 ing people, by a solemn and devout attendance upon 
 this sacred ordinance. As numbers of God's people 
 were refreshed at this sight, and thereby excited to 
 bless God for the enlargement of his kingdom in the. 
 world ; so some others, I was told, were awakened by 
 it, apprehending the danger they were in of being 
 themselves finally cast out ; while they saw others 
 from the east and west preparing, and hopefully pre- 
 pared in some good measure, to sit down in the king- 
 dom of God. At this season others of my people also, 
 who were not communicants, were considerably affect- 
 ed; convictions were revived in several instances; and 
 one, the man particularly mentioned in my journal of 
 the 6th instant, obtained comfort and satisfaction ; and 
 has since given me such an account of his spiritual 
 exercises, and the manner in which he obtained relief, 
 as appears very hopeful. It seems as if He, who com- 
 manded the light to shine out of darkness, had now 
 'shined into his heart, and given him the light of,' and
 
 1746. J AT CRANBERRY. 259 
 
 experimental ' knowledge of the glory of God in the 
 face of Jesus Christ.' 
 
 June 9. "A considerable number of my people met 
 together early in a retired place in the woods, and 
 prayed, sang, and conversed of divine things ; and were 
 seen by some religious persons of the white people to 
 be affected and engaged, and some of them in tears in 
 these religious exercises. 
 
 "After they had attended the concluding exercises 
 of the Lord's Supper they returned home; many of 
 them rejoicing for all the goodness of God which they 
 had seen and felt: so that this appeared to be a profit- 
 able as well as comfortable season to numbers of my 
 congregation. Their being present at this occasion, 
 and a number of them communing at the Lord's table 
 with other Christians, was, I trust, for the honor of 
 God and the interest of religion in these parts; as num- 
 bers, I have reason to think, were quickened by means 
 of it. 
 
 June 13. "Preached to my ..people upon the new 
 creature, from 2 Cor. 5 : 17. The presence of God ap- 
 peared to be in the assembly. It was a sweet and 
 agreeable meeting, wherein the people of God were 
 refreshed and strengthened; beholding their faces in 
 the glass of God's word, and finding in themselves the 
 marks and lineaments of the new creature. Some sin- 
 ners under concern were also renewedly affected ; and 
 afresh engaged for the securing of their eternal in- 
 terests. 
 
 " Three Indians were at this time received into com- 
 munion. One of them was the very aged woman of 
 whose exercises I gave an account in my diary of Dec. 
 26. She now gave me a very punctual, rational, and 
 satisfactory account of the remarkable change which
 
 260 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 she experienced some months after the beginning of 
 her concern, which I must say, appeared to be the ge- 
 nuine operations of the Divine Spirit, so far as I am ca- 
 pable of judging. Although she was become so child- 
 ish, through age, that I could do nothing in a way of 
 questioning her, nor scarcely make her understand any 
 thing that I asked her ; yet when I let her alone to go 
 on with her own story, she could give a very dis- 
 tinct and particular relation of the many and various 
 exercises of soul she had experienced ; so deep were 
 the impressions left upon her mind by that influence 
 and those exercises which she had experienced. I 
 have great reason to think that she is born anew in her 
 old age: she being, I presume, upward of eighty. 
 
 June 19. " Visited my people with two of the Reve- 
 rend correspondents. Spent some time in conversation 
 with some of them upon spiritual things ; and took 
 some care of their worldly concerns. 
 
 " This day makes up a complete year from the first 
 time of my preaching to these Indians in New-Jersey. 
 What amazing things has God wrought, in this space 
 of time, for this poor people ! What a surprising change 
 appears in their tempers and behavior ! How are mo- 
 rose and savage Pagans, in this short period, transform- 
 ed into agreeable, affectionate, and humble Christians! 
 and their drunken and Pagan bowlings turned into de- 
 vout and fervent praises to God! They 'who were 
 sometimes in darkness are now become light in the 
 Lord.' May they ' walk as children of the light and 
 of the day !' And now to Him that is of power to es- 
 tablish them according to the gospel, and the preach- 
 ing of Christ to God only wise, be glory through Je- 
 sus Christ, for ever and ever, Amen."
 
 GENERAL REMARKS 
 ON THE PRECEDING NARRATIVE. 
 
 "A'r the close of this Narrative I would make a few 
 GENERAL REMARKS upon what, to me, appears worthy 
 of notice, relating to the continued work of grace a 
 mong my people. 
 
 I."I cannot but take notice, that I have in general, 
 ever since my first coming among the Indians in New- 
 Jersey, been favored with that assistance which to me 
 is uncommon, in preaching Christ crucified, and ma- 
 king him the centre and mark to which all my dis- 
 courses among them were directed. 
 
 "It was the principal scope and drift of all my dis- 
 courses to this people, for several months together, 
 (after having taught them something of the being and 
 perfections of God, his creation of man in a state of 
 rectitude and happiness, and the obligations mankind 
 were thence under to love and honor him,) to lead 
 them into an acquaintance with their deplorable state 
 by nature, as fallen creatures ; their inability to extri- 
 cate and deliver themselves from it; the utter insuf- 
 ficiency of any external reformations and amendments 
 of life, or of any religious performances, of which they 
 were capable, while in this state, to bring them into the 
 favor of God, and interest them in his eternal mercy; 
 thence to show them their absolute need of Christ to 
 redeem and save them from the misery of their fallen 
 state; to open his all-sufficiency and willingness to 
 save the chief of sinners; the freeness and riches of 
 divine grace, proposed 'without money, and without 
 price,' to all that will accept the offer; thereupon to 
 press them without delay to betake themselves to him,
 
 262 LIFE OF BRAINERD. | Chap. VIII. 
 
 under a sense of their misery and undone state, for re- 
 lief and everlasting salvation; and to show them the 
 abundant encouragement the gospel proposes to needy, 
 perishing, and helpless sinners, in order to engage them 
 so to do. These things, I repeatedly and largely insist- 
 ed upon from time to time. 
 
 "I have oftentimes remarked with admiration, that 
 whatever subject I have been treating upon, after hav- 
 ing spent time sufficient to explain and illustrate the 
 truths contained therein, I have been naturally and 
 easily led to Christ as the substance of every subject. 
 If I treated on the being and glorious perfections of 
 God ; I was thence naturally led to discourse of Christ, 
 as the only 'way to the Father.' If I attempted to 
 open the deplorable misery of our fallen state; it was 
 natural from thence to show the necessity of Christ to 
 undertake for us, to atone for our sins, and to redeem 
 us from the power of them. If I taught the commands 
 of God, and showed our violation of them ; this brought 
 me, in the most easy and natural way, to speak of, and 
 recommend the Lord Jesus Christ as one who had 
 'magnified the law' which we had broken, and who 
 was 'become the end of it, for righteousness, to every 
 one that believes.' Never did I find so much freedom 
 and assistance in making all the various lines of my 
 discourses meet' together, and centre in Christ, as I 
 have frequently done among these Indians. 
 
 "Sometimes when I have had thoughts of offering 
 but a few words upon some particular subject, and saw 
 no occasion, nor indeed much room, for any considera- 
 ble enlargement, there has appeared such a fountain 
 of gospel- grace shining forth in, or naturally resulting 
 from a just explication of it; and Christ has seemed 
 in such a manner to be pointed out as the substance
 
 1746. I GENERAL REMARKS. 263 
 
 of what I was considering and explaining; that I have 
 been drawn in a way not only easy and natural, proper 
 and pertinent, but almost unavoidable, to discourse of 
 him, either in regard to his undertaking, incarnation, 
 satisfaction, admirable fitness for the work of man's re- 
 demption, or the infinite need that sinners stand in of 
 an interest in him ; which has opened the way for a 
 continued strain of gospel invitation to perishing souls, 
 to come empty and naked, weary and heavy laden, and 
 cast themselves upon him. 
 
 "As I have been remarkably influenced and assisted 
 to dwell upon the Lord Jesus Christ, and the way of 
 salvation by him, in the general current of my discours- 
 es here, and have been, at times, surprisingly furnish- 
 ed with pertinent matter relating to him, and the de- 
 sign of his incarnation; so I have been no less assisted 
 oftentimes in an advantageous manner of opening the 
 mysteries of divine grace, and representing the infinite 
 excellencies, and 'unsearchable riches of Christ,' as 
 well as of recommending him to the acceptance of 
 perishing sinners. I have frequently been enabled to 
 represent the divine glory, the infinite preciousness 
 and transceudant loveliness of the great Redeemer, the 
 suitableness of his person and purchase to supply the 
 wants, and answer the utmost desires of immortal souls; 
 to open the infinite riches of his grace, and the won- 
 derful encouragement proposed in the gospel to un- 
 worthy, helpless sinners; to call, invite, and beseech 
 them to come and give up themselves to him, and be 
 reconciled to God through him ; to expostulate with 
 them respecting their neglect of one so infinitely love- 
 ly, and freely offered ; and this in such a manner, with 
 such freedom, pertinency, pathos, and application to 
 the conscience, as, I am sure, I never could have made
 
 264 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 myself master of, by the most assiduous application of 
 mind. Frequently, at such seasons, I have been sur- 
 prisingly helped in adapting my discourses to the ca- 
 pacities of my people, and bringing them down into 
 such easy, and familiar methods of expression, as has 
 rendered them intelligible even to Pagans. 
 
 " I do not mention these things as a recommendation 
 of my own performances; for I am sure I found, from 
 time to time, that I had no skill or wisdom for my 
 great work ; and knew not how ' to choose out accept- 
 able words ' proper to address to poor benighted Pa- 
 gans. But thus God was pleased to help me, ' not to 
 know any thing among them, save Jesus Christ and 
 him crucified.' Thus I was enabled to show them 
 their misery without him, and to represent his com- 
 plete fitness to redeem and save them. 
 "This was the preaching God made use of for awaken- 
 ing sinners, and the propagation of this 'work of grace 
 among the Indians.' It was remarkable, from time 
 to time, that when I was favored with any special free- 
 dom, in discoursing of the ' ability and willingness ol 
 Christ to save sinners,' and ' the need in which they 
 stood of such a Savior;' there was then the greatest 
 appearance of divine power in awakening numbers of 
 secure souls, promoting convictions begun, and com- 
 forting the distressed. 
 
 " I have sometimes formerly, in reading the Apostle's 
 discourse to Cornelius, (Acts, 10,)wondered to see him 
 so quickly introduce the Lord Jesus Christ into his ser- 
 mon, and so entirely dwell upon him through the whole 
 cf it, observing him in this point very widely to differ 
 from many of our modern preachers; but latterly this 
 has not seemed strange, since Christ has appeared to 
 be the substance of the gospel and the centre in which
 
 1746.] GENERAL REMARKS. 265 
 
 the several lines of divine revelation meet. Still I am 
 sensible that there are many things necessary to be spo- 
 ken to persons under Pagan darkness, in order to make 
 way for a proper introduction of the name of Christ, 
 and his undertaking in behalf of fallen man. 
 
 II. " It is worthy of remark, that numbers of these 
 people are brought to a strict compliance with the rules 
 of morality and sobriety, and to a conscientious per- 
 formance of the external duties of Christianity, by the 
 internal power and influence of divine truth the pecu- 
 liar doctrines of grace upon their minds; without their 
 having these moral duties frequently repeated and in- 
 culcated upon them, and the contrary vices particularly 
 exposed and spoken against. What has been the gene- 
 ral strain and drift of my preaching among these In- 
 dians, what were the truths I principally insisted upon, 
 and how I was influenced and enabled to dwell from 
 time to time, upon the peculiar doctrines of grace, I 
 have already stated. Those doctrines, which had the 
 most direct tendency to humble the fallen creature; 
 to show him the misery of his natural state; to bring 
 him down to the foot of sovereign mercy, and to exalt 
 the great Redeemer discover his transcendant excel- 
 lency and infinite preciousness, and so recommend him 
 to the sinner's acceptance were the subject-matter of 
 what was delivered in public and private to them, and 
 from time to time repeated and inculcated. 
 
 " God was pleased to give these divine truths such 
 a powerful influence upon the minds of these people, 
 and so to bless them for the effectual awakening of 
 numbers of them, that their lives were quickly reform- 
 ed, without my insisting upon the precepts of morali- 
 ty, and spending time in repeated harangues upon ex- 
 ternal duties. There was indeed no room for any kind
 
 260 LIFE OP ERAINERD. [Chap.VIIl. 
 
 of discourses but those which respected the essentials 
 of religion, and the experimental knowledge of divine 
 things, while there were so many inquiring daily not 
 how they should regulate their external conduct, for 
 that, persons who are honestly disposed to comply with 
 duty, when known, may in ordinary cases be easily 
 satisfied about, but how they should escape from the 
 wrath they feared, and felt that they deserved, obtain 
 an effectual change of heart, get an interest in Christ,- 
 and come to the enjoyment of eternal blessedness? 
 So that my great work still was to lead them into a 
 further view of their utter undoneness in themselves, 
 the total depravity and corruption of their hearts ; that 
 there was no manner of goodness in them ; no good 
 dispositions nor desires ; no love to God, nor delight 
 in his commands ; but, on the contrary, hatred, enmity, 
 and all manner of wickedness reigning in them : and 
 at the same time to open to them the glorious and com- 
 plete remedy provided in Christ for perishing sinners, 
 and offered freely to those who have no goodness of 
 their own, no works of righteousness which they have 
 done, to recommend them to God. 
 
 " This was the continued strain of my preaching ; 
 this my great concern and constant endeavor, so to en- 
 lighten the mind, as thereby duly to affect the heart, 
 and, as far as possible, give persons a sense andfeeling 
 of these precious and important doctrines of grace, at 
 least so far as means might conduce to it. These were 
 the doctrines, and this the method of preaching, which 
 were blessed of God for the awakening, and I trust, 
 the saving conversion of numbers of souls ; and which 
 were made the means of producing a remarkable re- 
 formation among the hearers in general. 
 
 " When these truths were felt at heart, there was
 
 1746.] GENERAL REMARKS. 267 
 
 new no vice imreformed no external duty neglected. 
 Drunkenness, the darling vice, was broken off, and 
 scarce an instance of it known among my hearers for 
 months together. The abusive practice of husbands 
 and wives in putting away each other, and taking others 
 in their stead, was quickly reformed ; so that there are 
 three or four couples who have voluntarily dismissed 
 those whom they had wrongfully taken, and now 
 live together again in love and peace. The same 
 might be said of all other vicious practices. The re- 
 formation was general ; and all springing from the in 
 ternal influence of divine truth upon their hearts, and 
 not from any external restraints, or because they had 
 heard these vices particularly exposed, and repeatedly 
 spoken against. Some of them I never so much as 
 mentioned ; particularly that of the parting of men 
 and their wives, till some, having their conscience 
 awakened by God's word, came, and of their men 
 accord confessed themselves guilty in that respect. 
 When I at any time mentioned their wicked practices, 
 and the sins they were guilty of contrary to the light 
 of nature, it was not with a design, nor indeed with any 
 hope, of working an effectual reformation in their ex- 
 ternal manners by this means, for I knew, that while 
 the tree remained corrupt, the fruit would naturally be 
 so. My design was to lead them, by observing the 
 wickedness of their lives, to a view of the corruption 
 of their hearts, and so to convince them of the neces- 
 sity of a renovation of nature, and to excite them, with 
 the utmost diligence to seek after that great change, 
 which, if once obtained, I was sensible, would of course 
 produce a reformation of external manners in every 
 respect. 
 "And as all vice was reformed upon their feeling the
 
 268 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VII 1. 
 
 power of these truths upon their hearts, so the external 
 duties of Christianity were complied with, and con- 
 scientiously performed from the same internal influ- 
 ence ; family prayer set up, and constantly maintained, 
 unless among a few who had more lately come, and 
 had felt little of this divine influence. This duty was 
 constantly performed, even in some families where 
 there were none but females, and scarce a prayerless 
 person was to be found among near an hundred ol 
 them. The Sabbath was seriously and religiously ob- 
 served, and care taken by parents to keep their children 
 orderly upon that sacred day ; and this, not because I 
 had driven them to the performance of these duties 
 by frequently inculcating them, but because they had 
 felt the power of God's word upon their hearts, were 
 made sensible of their sin and misery, and thence could 
 not but pray, and comply with every thing which they 
 knew to be their duty, from what they felt within them- 
 selves. When their hearts were touched with a sense 
 of their eternal concerns, they could pray with great 
 freedom, as well as fervency, without being at the trou- 
 ble first to learn set forms for that purpose. Some of 
 them, who were suddenly awakened at their first com- 
 ing among us, were brought to pray and cry for mercy 
 with the utmost importunity, without ever being in- 
 structed in the duty of prayer, or so much as once di- 
 rected to a performance of it. 
 
 "The happy effects of these peculiar doctrines of 
 grace upon this people, show, even to demonstration, 
 that, instead of their opening a door to licentiousness, 
 as many vainly imagine, and slanderously insinuate, 
 they have a directly contrary tendency ; so that a close 
 application, a sense and feeling of them, will have the 
 most powerful influence toward the renovation, and 
 effectual reformation both of heart and life.
 
 1746.] GENERAL REMARKS. 269 
 
 "Happy experience, as well as the word of God and 
 the example of Christ and his apostles, has taught me, 
 that the very method of preaching which is best suit- 
 ed to, awaken in mankind a sense and lively appre- 
 hension of their depravity and misery in a fallen state, 
 to excite them so earnestly to seek after a change of 
 heart, as to fly for refuge to free and sovereign grace 
 in Christ as the only hope set before them, is likely 
 to be most successful in the reformation of their exter- 
 nal conduct. I have found that close addresses, and 
 solemn applications of divine truth to the conscience, 
 strike at the root of all vice ; while smooth and plau- 
 sible harangues upon moral virtues and external du- 
 ties, at best are like to do no more than lop off the branch- 
 es of corruption, while the root of all vice remains still 
 untouched. 
 
 "A view of the blessed effect of honest endeavors 
 lo bring home divine truths to the conscience, and duly 
 to affect the heart with them, has often reminded me 
 of those words of our Lord, which I have thought 
 might be a proper exhortation for ministers in respect 
 to their treatment of others, as well as for persons in 
 general with regard to themselves. ' Cleanse first the 
 inside of the cup and platter, that the outside may be 
 clean also.' Cleanse, says he, the inside that the out- 
 side may be clean. As if he had said, the only effec- 
 tual way to have the outside clean, is to begin with 
 what is within ; and if the fountain be purified, the 
 streams will naturally be pure. Most certain it is, if we 
 can awaken in sinners a lively sense of their inward 
 pollution and depravity their need of a change of 
 heart and so engage them to seek after inward clean- 
 sing, their external defilement will naturally be 
 cleansed, their vicious ways of course be reformed
 
 270 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII 
 
 and their conversation and behavior become regular. 
 
 "Now, although I cannot pretend that the reforma- 
 tion among my people does, in every instance, spring 
 from a saving change of heart ; yet I may truly say, 
 it flows from some heart-affecting view and sense of 
 divine truths which all have had in a greater or less 
 degree. I do not intend, by what I have observed here, 
 to represent the preaching of morality and pressing 
 persons to the external performance of duty, to be al- 
 together unnecessary and useless, especially at times 
 when there is less of divine power attending the means 
 of grace, when, for want of internal influences, there 
 is need of external restraints. It is doubtless among 
 thte things that ought to be done, while others are not 
 to be left undone. But what I principally designed by 
 this remark, was to discover a plain matter of fact, viz. 
 That the reformation, the sobriety, and the external 
 compliance with the rules and duties of Christianity, 
 appearing among my people, are not the effect of any 
 mere doctrinal instruction, or merely rational view of 
 the beauty of morality, but from the internal power 
 and influence which the soul-humbling doctrines of 
 grace have had upon their hearts. 
 
 III. " It is remarkable, that God has so continued and 
 renewed the showers of his grace here ; so quickly set 
 up his visible kingdom among these people; and so 
 smiled upon them in relation to their acquirement of 
 knowledge, both divine and human. It is now nearly 
 a year since the beginning of this gracious outpouring 
 of the divine Spirit among them ; and although it haa 
 often seemed to decline and abate for some short space 
 of time as may be observed by several passages of 
 my Journal, where I have endeavored to note things 
 lust as from time to time they appeared to me yet
 
 1746.] GENERAL REMARKS. 271 
 
 the shower has seemed to be renewed, and the work 
 of grace revived again. A divine influence seems still 
 apparently to attend the means of grace, in a greater 
 or less degree, in most of our meetings for religious 
 exercises ; whereby religious persons are refreshed, 
 strengthened, and established, convictions revived and 
 promoted in many instances, and some few persons 
 newly awakened from time to time. It must be ac- 
 knowledged, that for some time past there has, in gen- 
 eral, appeared a more manifest decline of this work ; 
 and the divine Spirit has seemed, in a considerable 
 measure, withdrawn, especially with regard to his awa- 
 kening influence ; so that the strangers who come lat- 
 terly, are not seized with concern as formerly ; and 
 some few who have been much affected with divine 
 truths in time past, now appear less concerned. Yet, 
 blessed be God, there is still an appearance of divine 
 power and grace, a desirable degree of tenderness, re- 
 ligious affection and devotion in our assemblies. 
 
 "As God has continued and renewed the showers 
 of his grace among this people for some time, so he 
 has with uncommon quickness set up his visible king- 
 dom, and gathered himself a church in the midst of 
 them. Fifteen individuals, since the conclusion of my 
 last Journal, have made a public profession of their 
 faith, making thirty-eight within the space of eleven 
 months, all of whom appear to have had a work of 
 special grace wrought in their hearts; I mean, to have 
 had the experience not only of the awakening, but, in 
 a judgment of charity, of the renewing influences of 
 the divine Spirit. There are many others under so- 
 lemn concern for their souls, and deep convictions of 
 their sin and misery, but who do not yet give that deci- 
 sive evidence which could be desired, of a saving change.
 
 r 
 
 272 UFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII- 
 
 "From the time when, as I am informed, some of 
 them were attending an idolatrous feast and sacrifice 
 in honor to devils, to the time when they sat down at 
 the Lord's table, I trust to the honor of God, was not 
 more than a.fidl year. Surely Christ's little flock here, 
 so suddenly gathered from among Pagans, may justly 
 say, in the language of the church of old, 'The Lord 
 hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.' 
 
 "Much of the goodness of God has also appeared in 
 relation to their acquisition of knowledge, both in reli- 
 gion and in the affairs of common life. There has 
 been a wonderful thirst after Christian knowledge pre- 
 vailing among them in general, and an eager desire of 
 being instructed in Christian doctrines and manners. 
 This has prompted them to ask many pertinent as well 
 as important questions; the answers to which have 
 tended much to enlighten their minds and promote 
 their knowledge in divine things. Many of the doc- 
 trines which I have delivered, they have queried with 
 me about, in order to gain further light and insight into 
 them ; and have from time to time manifested a good 
 understanding of them, by their answers to the ques- 
 tions proposed to them in my catechetical lectures. 
 
 "They have likewise queried with me respecting a 
 proper method, as well as proper matter of prayer, and 
 expressions suitable to be used in that religious exer- 
 cise ; and have taken pains in order to the perform- 
 ance of this duty with understanding. They have 
 likewise taken pains, and appeared remarkably apt in 
 learning to sing psalm-tunes, and are now able to sing 
 with a good degree of decency in the worship of God, 
 They have also acquired a considerable degree of 
 useful knowledge in the affairs of common life ; so that 
 they now appear like rational creatures, fit for human
 
 1746.] GENERAL REMARKS. 273 
 
 society, free of that savage roughness and brutish stu- 
 pidity which rendered them very disagreeable in their 
 Pagan state. 
 
 " They seem ambitious of a thorough acquaintance 
 with the English language, and for that end frequently 
 speak it among themselves. Many of them have made 
 good proficiency in acquiring it, since my coming 
 among them ; so that most of them can understand a 
 considerable part, and some the substance of my dis- 
 courses, without an Interpreter, being used to my sim- 
 ple and familiar methods of expression, though they 
 could not well understand other ministers. 
 
 "As they are desirous of instruction, and surprising- 
 ly apt in the reception of it, so divine Providence has 
 smiled upon them with regard to the proper means in 
 order to it. The attempts made for establishing a school 
 among them have succeeded, and a kind Providence 
 has sent them a schoolmaster, of whom I may justly 
 say, I know of 'no man like minded, who will naturally 
 care for their state.' He has generally thirty or thirty- 
 five children in his school; and when he kept an even- 
 ing school, as he did while the length of the 'evenings 
 would admit of it, fifteen or twenty grown people, mar- 
 ried and single, attended. 
 
 " The children learn with surprising readiness ; so 
 that their master tells me, he never had an English 
 school which learned, in general, so fast. There were 
 not above two in thirty, although some of them were 
 very small, but learned all the letters in the alphabet 
 within three days after his entrance upon his business; 
 and several in that space of time learned to spell con- 
 siderably. Some of them, in less than five months, 
 have learned to read with ease in the Psalter or Tes- 
 tament. 
 
 Braincrd. 18
 
 274 LIKE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. VIII. 
 
 "They are instructed twice a week in the Catechism, 
 on Wednesday and Saturday. Some of them, since 
 the latter end of February, when they began, have 
 committed more than half of it to memory; and most 
 of them have made some proficiency in it. 
 
 " They are likewise instructed in the duty of secret 
 prayer, and most of them constantly attend it night 
 and morning, and are very careful to inform their mas- 
 ter, if they apprehend that any of their little school- 
 mates neglect that religious exercise. 
 
 IV. "It is worthy to be noted, to the praise of sove- 
 reign grace, that amidst so great a work of conviction 
 so much concern and religious affection there has 
 been no prevalence, nor indeed any considerable appear- 
 ance of false religion heats of imagination, intempe- 
 rate zeal, or spiritual pride; and that there have been 
 very few instances of irregular and scandalous beha- 
 vior among those who have appeared serious. 
 
 "This work of grace has, in the main, been carried 
 on with a surprising degree of purity, and freedom 
 from corrupt mixture. Their religious concern has 
 generally been rational and just; arising from a sense 
 of their sins, and exposure to the divine displeasure on 
 account of them; as well as their utter inability to de- 
 liver themselves from the misery they felt and feared. 
 If there has been, in any instance, an appearance of 
 concern and perturbation of mind, when the subjects of 
 it knew not why; yet there has been no prevalence of 
 any such thing; and indeed I scarcely know of any 
 instance of that nature at all. It is very remarkable, 
 that, although the concern of many persons under con- 
 victions of their perishing state has been very great 
 and pressing, yet I have never seen any thing like des- 
 peration attending it in any one instance. They have
 
 1746.] GENERAL REMARKS. 275 
 
 had the most lively sense of their undoneness in them- 
 selves; have been brought to give up all hopes of de- 
 liverance from themselves; have experienced great dis- 
 tress and anguish of soul; and yet, in the seasons of 
 the greatest extremity, there has been no appearance 
 of despair in any of them, nothing that has discou- 
 raged, or in any wise hindered them from the most dili- 
 gent use of all proper means for their conversion and 
 salvation. Hence it is apparent, that there is not that 
 danger of persons being driven into despair under spi- 
 ritual trouble, unless in cases of deep and habitual me- 
 lancholy, which the world in general is ready to 
 imagine. 
 
 "The comfort which persons have obtained after 
 their distresses, has likewise in general appeared solid, 
 well grounded, and scriptural ; arising from a spiritual 
 and supernatural illumination of mind, a view of di- 
 vine things, in a measure, as they are, a complacency 
 of soul in the divine perfections, and a peculiar satis- 
 faction in the way of salvation by free sovereign grace 
 in the great Redeemer. 
 
 "Their joys have seemed to rise from a variety of 
 views and considerations of divine things, although for 
 substance the same. Some, who, under conviction, 
 seemed to have the hardest struggles and heart-risings 
 against the divine sovereignty, have seemed, at the first 
 dawn of their comfort, to rejoice in a peculiar manner 
 in that divine perfection : and have been delighted to 
 think that themselves, and all things else, were in the 
 hand of God, and that he would dispose of them 'just 
 as he pleased.' 
 
 " Others, who, just before their reception of comfort, 
 have been remarkably oppressed with a sense of their 
 undoneness and poverty, who have seen themselves, as
 
 276 LIFE OP BRAINERD. | Chap. VIIL 
 
 it were, falling down into remediless perdition, have 
 been at first more peculiarly delighted with a view of 
 the freeness and riches of divine grace, and the offer 
 of salvation made to perishing sinners ' without money 
 and without price.' 
 
 "Some have at first appeared to rejoice especially in 
 the wisdom of God, discovered in the way of salvation 
 by Christ ; it then appearing to them ' a new and living 
 way,' a way of which they had never thought, nor had 
 any just conceptions, until opened to them by the spe- 
 cial influence of the divine Spirit. Some of them, up- 
 on a lively spiritual view of this way of salvation, have 
 wondered at their past folly in seeking salvation in 
 other ways, and that they never saw this way of sal- 
 vation before, which now appeared so plain and easy, 
 as well as excellent to them. 
 
 " Others, again, have had a more general view of the 
 beauty and excellency of Christ, and have had their 
 souls delighted with an apprehension of his divine glo- 
 ry, as unspeakably exceeding all they had ever con- 
 ceived before ; yet, without singling out any one of the 
 divine perfections in particular ; so that, although their 
 comforts have seemed to arise from a variety of views 
 and considerations of divine glories, still they were 
 spiritual and supernatural views of them, and not 
 groundless fancies, which were the spring of their joys 
 and comforts. 
 
 " Yet it must be acknowledged that, when this work 
 became so universal and prevalent, and gained such 
 general credit and esteem among the Indians that Sa- 
 tan seemed to have little advantage of working against 
 it in his own proper garb, he then transformed himself 
 'into an angel of light,' and made some vigorous at- 
 tempts to introduce turbulent commotions of the pas-
 
 1746. I GENERAL REMARKS. 277 
 
 sionsinthe room of genuine convictions of sin, imagi- 
 nary and fanciful notions of Christ, as appearing to the 
 mental eye in a human shape, and in some particular 
 postures, &c. in the room of spiritual and supernatural 
 discoveries of his divine glory and excellency, as well 
 as many other delusions. I have reason to think, that, 
 if these things had met with countenance and encou- 
 ragement, there would have been a very considerable 
 harvest of this kind of converts here. 
 
 " Spiritual pride also discovered itself in various in- 
 stances. Some persons, whose feelings had been great- 
 ly excited, seemed very desirous from thence of being 
 thought truly gracious ; who, when I could not but ex- 
 press to them my fears respecting their spiritual state,, 
 discovered their resentments to a considerable degree. 
 There also appeared in one or two of them, an unbe- 
 coming ambition of being teachers of others. So that 
 Satan has been a busy adversary here as well as else- 
 where. But, blessed be God, though something of this 
 nature has appeared, yet nothing of it has prevailed, 
 nor indeed made any considerable progress at all. My 
 people are now apprised of these things, are made ac- 
 quainted, that Satan in such a manner ' transformed 
 himself into an angel of light,' in the first season of 
 the gif&t outpouring of the divine Spirit in the days of 
 the apostles ; and that something of this nature, in a 
 greater or less degree, has attended almost every re- 
 vival and remarkable propagation of true religion ever 
 since. They have learned so to distinguish between 
 the gold and dross, that the credit of the latter ' is trod- 
 den down like the mire of the streets ;' and, as it is na- 
 tural for this kind of stuff to die with its credit, there 
 is now scarce any appearance of it among them. 
 
 " As there has been no prevalence of irregular heats,
 
 278 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. IX, 
 
 imaginary notions, spiritual pride, and satanical delu- 
 sions among my people ; so there have been very few 
 instances of scandalous and irregular behavior among 
 those who have made a profession, or even an appear- 
 ance of seriousness. I do not know of more than 
 three or four such persons who have been guilty of 
 any open misconduct, since their first acquaintance 
 with Christianity ; and I know of no one who persists 
 in any thing of that nature. Perhaps the remarkable 
 purity of this work in the latter respect, its freedom 
 from frequent instances of scandal, is very much owing 
 to its purity in the former respect, its freedom from 
 corrupt mixtures of spiritual pride, wild-fire, and delu- 
 sion, which naturally lay a foundation for scandalous 
 practices. 
 
 " May this blessed work, in the power and purity of it, 
 prevail among the poor Indians here, as well as spread 
 elsewhere, till their remotest tribes shall see the salva- 
 tion of God ! Amen." 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 From the close of his Public Journal, June 19, 1746, to his death 
 continuance of labor at Cro.isweeksuitg and Cranberry 
 journey with six Christian Indians to the Suaqueliaima, and 
 labors there return to Cross weeksung compelled by prostra- 
 tion of health to leave the Imlians confinement by sickness at 
 Elisabeth/own -farewell visit to the Indians his brother John 
 succeeds him as a Missionary arrival among his friends in 
 Connecticut visit to President Edwards in Northampton 
 journey to Boston, where he is brought near to death useful- 
 ness in Boston ret urns to Northampton triumphs of grace 
 in his last sickness death. 
 
 [June 19, 1746 October 9, 1747. 1 
 
 iMrd'sday, June 29, 1746. " Preached both parts of 
 the day, from John, 14 : 19. God was pleased to -assist
 
 1746.J AT CROSSWEEKSUNG. 279 
 
 me, to afford me botli freedom and power, especially 
 toward the close of my discourses forenoon and after- 
 noon. God's power appeared in the assembly, in both 
 exercises. Numbers of God's people were refreshed 
 and melted with divine things; one or two comforted, 
 who had been long under distress ; convictions, in di- 
 vers instances, were powerfully revived ; and one man 
 in years was much awakened, who had not long fre- 
 quented our meeting, and appeared before as stupid 
 as a stock. God amazingly renewed and lengthened 
 out my strength. I was so spent at noon that I could 
 scarcely walk, and all my joints trembled so that I could 
 not sit, nor so nvieh as hold my hand still; and yet 
 God strengthened me to preach with power in the after- 
 noon, although I had given out word to my people, that 
 I did not expect to be able to do it. Spent some time 
 afterward in conversing, particularly, with several per- 
 sons, about their spiritual state ; and had some satis- 
 faction concerning one or two. Prayed afterward 
 with a sick child, and gave a word of exhortation. 
 Was assisted in all my work. Blessed be God ! Re- 
 turned home with more health than I had in the morn- 
 ing, although my linen was wringing wet upon me, 
 from a little after ten, till past five in the afternoon. 
 My spirits also were considerably refreshed; and my 
 soul rejoiced in hope, that I had through grace done 
 something for God. In the evening walked out, and 
 enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer and praise. 
 But O I found the truth of the Psalmist's words, 'My 
 goodness extendeth not to thee!' I could not make 
 any returns to God ; I longed to live only to him, and 
 to be in tune for his praise and service for ever. Oh 
 for spirituality and holy fervency, that I might spend 
 and be spent for God to my latest moment
 
 280 LIFE OP BHAINERD. [.Chap. IX. 
 
 July 10. " Spent most of the day in writing. To- 
 ward night rode to Mr. Tennent's ; enjoyed some 
 agreeable conversation ; went home in the evening, in 
 a solemn, sweet frame of mind ; was refreshed in secret 
 duties, longed to live wholly and only for God, and 
 saw plainly there was nothing in the world worthy of 
 my affection my heart was dead to all below ; yet not 
 through dejection, as at some times, but from views of 
 a better inheritance. 
 
 July 12. " This day was spent in fasting and prayer 
 by my congregation, as preparatory to the Lord's sup- 
 per. I discoursed, both parts of the day, from Rom. 
 4 : 25, ' Who was delivered for our offences,' &c. 
 God gave me some assistance, and something of divine 
 power attended the word ; so that this was an agree- 
 able season. Afterward led them to a solemn renewal 
 of their covenant, and fresh dedication of themselves 
 to God. This was a season both of solemnity and 
 sweetness, and God seemed to be ' in the midst of us.' 
 Returned to my lodgings in the evening, in a comfort- 
 able frame of mind. 
 
 .Lord's day, July 13. " In the forenoon, discoursed 
 on the ' bread of life,' from John, 6 : 35. God gave me 
 some assistance, in a part of my discourse especially ; 
 and there appeared some tender affection in the assem- 
 bly under divine truth ; my soul also was somewhat 
 refreshed. Administered the Lord's supper to thirty- 
 one of the Indians. God seemed to be present in this 
 ordinance ; the communicants were sweetly melted and 
 refreshed. O how they melted, even when the ele- 
 ments were first uncovered ! There was scarcely a 
 dry eye among them, when I took off the linen, and 
 showed them the symbols of Christ's broken body. 
 Having rested a little, after the administration of the
 
 
 1746.J LORD'S SUPPER. 281 
 
 ordinance, 1 visited the communicants, and found them 
 generally in a sweet loving frame ; not unlike what ap- 
 peared among them on the former sacramental occa- 
 sion, April 27. In the afternoon, discoursed upon com- 
 ing- to Christ, and the satisfaction of those who do so, 
 from the same verse I insisted on in the forenoon. 
 This was likewise an agreeable season, one of much 
 tenderness, affection, and enlargement in divine ser- 
 vice ; and God, I am persuaded, crowned our assembly 
 with his presence. I returned home much spent, yet 
 rejoicing in the goodness of God. 
 
 July 14. " Went to my people, and discoursed to 
 them from Psalm 119 : 106, ' I have sworn, and I will 
 perform it,' &c. Observed, (1.). that all God's judg- 
 ments or commandments are righteous. (2.) That 
 God's people have sworn to keep them ; and this they 
 do especially at the Lord's table. There appeared to 
 be a powerful divine influence on the assembly, and 
 considerable melting under the word. Afterward I 
 led them to a renewal of their covenant before God, 
 that they would watch over themselves and one ano- 
 ther, lest they should fall into sin, and dishonor the 
 name of Christ. This transaction was attended with 
 great solemnity ; and God seemed to own it by excit- 
 ing in them a fear and jealousy of themselves, lest they 
 should sin against God ; so that the presence of God 
 seemed to be among us in this conclusion of the sacra- 
 mental solemnity. 
 
 July 21. " Preached to the Indians, chiefly for the 
 sake of some strangers; proposed my design of taking 
 a journey speedily to the Susquehanna ; exhorted my 
 people to pray for me, that God would be with me in 
 that journey ; and then chose divers persons of the con- 
 gregation to travel with me. Afterward spent some
 
 282 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 time in discoursing to the strangers, and was some- 
 what encouraged with them. Took care of my peo- 
 ple's secular business, and was not a little exercised 
 with it. Had some degree of composure and comfort 
 in secret retirement. 
 
 July 22. " Was in a dejected frame most of the day ; 
 wanted to wear out life, and have it at an end ; but 
 had some desires of living to God, and wearing out life 
 for him. Oh that I could indeed do so !" 
 
 July 29. " My mind was cheerful, and free from the 
 melancholy with which I am often exercised ; had 
 freedom in looking up to God at various times in the 
 day. In the evening I enjoyed a comfortable season 
 in secret prayer; was helped to plead with God for 
 my own dear people, that he would carry on his own 
 blessed work among them ; and assisted in praying 
 for the divine presence to attend me in my intended 
 journey to the Susquehanna. I scarce knew how to 
 leave the throne of grace, and it grieved me that I 
 was obliged to go to bed ; I longed to do something 
 for God, but knew not how. Blessed be God for this 
 freedom from dejection ! 
 
 July 30. " Was uncommonly comfortable, both in 
 body and mind ; in the forenoon especially, my mind 
 was solemn ; I was assisted in my work, and God 
 seemed to be near to me ; so that the day was as com- 
 fortable as most I have enjoyed for some time. In the 
 evening was favored with assistance in secret prayer, 
 and felt much as I did the evening before. Blessed be 
 God for that freedom I then enjoyed at the throne of 
 grace, for myself, my people, and my dear friends ! 
 
 August 1. " In the evening enjoyed a sweet season 
 in secret prayer ; clouds of darkness and perplexing 
 care were sweetly scattered, and nothing anxious re-
 
 1746.] AT CROSSWEEKSUNQ. 283 
 
 mained. O how serene was my mind at this season I 
 how free from that distracting concern I have often 
 felt ! ' Thy will be done,' was a petition sweet to my 
 soul ; and if God had bid me choose for myself in any 
 affair, I should have chosen rather to have referred 
 the choice to him ; for I saw he was infinitely wise, 
 and could not do any thing amiss, as I was in danger 
 of doing. Was assisted in prayer for my dear flock, 
 that God would promote his own work among them, 
 and go with me in my intended journey to the Sus- 
 quehanna ; was helped to remember my dear friends 
 in New-England, and my dear brethren in the minis- 
 try. I found enough in the sweet duty of prayer to 
 have engaged me to continue in it the whole night, 
 would my bodily state have admitted of it. O how 
 sweet it is, to be enabled heartily to say, ' Lord, not 
 my will, but thine be done.' 
 
 August 2. "Near night, preached from Matt. 11 . 
 29. ' Take my yoke upon you,' &c. Was considerably 
 helped, and the presence of God seemed to be some- 
 what remarkably in the assembly; divine truth made 
 powerful impressions, both upon saints and sinners. 
 Blessed be God for such a revival among us ! In the 
 evening was very weary, but found my spirits sup- 
 ported and refreshed. 
 
 August 7. " Rode to my house where I spent the 
 last winter, in order to bring some things I needed for 
 my Susquehanna journey ; was refreshed to see that 
 place, which God so marvellously visited with the 
 showers of his grace. O how amazing did the pmcer 
 if God often appear there ! ' Bless the Lord, O my 
 soul, and forget not all his benefits.' 
 
 August 9. " In the afternoon visited my people ; set 
 their affairs in order as much as possible, and contrived
 
 884 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 for them the management of their worldly business ; 
 discoursed to them in a solemn manner, and concluded 
 with prayer. Was composed and comfortable in the 
 evening, and somewhat fervent in secret prayer ; had 
 some sense and view of the eternal world ; and found 
 a serenity of mind. O that I could magnify the Lord 
 for any freedom which he affords me in prayer ! 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 10. " Discoursed to my people both 
 parts of the day, from Acts, 3 : 19, ' Repent ye, there- 
 fore,' &c. In discoursing of repentance, in the fore- 
 noon, God helped me, so that my discourse was search- 
 ing ; some were in tears, both of the Indians and white 
 people, and the word of God was attended with some 
 power. In the intermission I was engaged in conver- 
 sing on their spiritual state, one of whom had very re- 
 cently found comfort, after spiritual trouble and dis- 
 tress. In the afternoon was somewhat assisted again, 
 though weak and weary. Three persons this day made 
 a public profession of their faith. Was in a comfort- 
 able frame in the evening, and enjoyed some satisfac- 
 tion in secret prayer. I have rarely felt myself so full 
 of tenderness as this day. 
 
 August 11. " Being about to set out on a journey to 
 the Susquehanna the next day, with leave of Provi- 
 dence, I spent some time this day in prayer with my 
 people, that God would bless and succeed my intended 
 journey, that he would send forth his blessed Spirit 
 with his word, and set up his kingdom among the poor 
 Indians in the wilderness. While I was opening and 
 applying part of the 110th and lllth Psalms, the power 
 of God seemed to descend on the assembly in some mea- 
 sure ; and while I was making the first prayer, num- 
 bers were melted, and I found some affectionate en- 
 largement of soul myself. Preached from Acts. 4 : 31,
 
 1746-3 ON THE SUSdUEHANNA. 285 
 
 ' And when they had prayed, the place was shaken,' &c. 
 God helped me, and my interpreter also ; there was a 
 shaking and melting among us ; and several, I doubt 
 not, were in some measure ' filled with the Holy Ghost.' 
 Afterward, Mr. Macnight prayed ; and I then opened 
 the two last stanzas of the 72d Psalm ; at which time 
 God was present with us ; especially while I insisted 
 upon the promise of all nations blessing the great R&- 
 deemer. My soul was refreshed, to think that this day 
 this blessed, glorious season, should surely come; and 1 
 trust numbers of my dear people were also refreshed. 
 Afterward prayed ; had some freedom, but was almost 
 spent ; then walked out, and left my people to carry 
 on religious exercises among themselves. They prayed 
 repeatedly, and sung, while I rested and refreshed my- 
 self. Afterward went to the meeting, prayed with, and 
 dismissed the assembly. Blessed be God, this has been 
 a day of grace. There were many tears and affec- 
 tionate sobs among us this day. In the evening my 
 soul was refreshed in prayer ; enjoyed liberty at the 
 throne of grace, in praying for my people and friends, 
 and the church of God in general. ' Bless the Lord, 
 O my soul.' " 
 
 The next day he set out on his journey toward the 
 Susquehanna, and six of his Christian Indians with 
 him, whom he had chosen out of his congregation, as 
 those he judged most fit to assist him in the business 
 upon which he was going. He took his way through 
 Philadelphia; intending to go to the Susquehanna, far 
 down, where it is settled by the white people, below 
 the country inhabited by the Indians ; and so to travel 
 op the river to the Indian habitations. For although 
 this was much farther, yet hereby he avoided the moun- 
 tains and hideous wilderness that must be crossed in
 
 286 LIFE OP BRA1NERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 the nearer way ; which in time past he found to be 
 extremely difficult and fatiguing. 
 
 Aug. 19. " Lodged by the side of the Susquehanna. 
 Was weak and disordered both this and the preceding 
 day, and found my spirits considerably damped, meet- 
 ing with none that I thought godly people. 
 
 Aug. 20. " Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I 
 coughed up much bloody matter this morning, and 
 was under great disorder of body, and not a little me- 
 lancholy ; but what gave me some encouragement, was, 
 I had a secret hope that I might speedily get a dismis- 
 sion from earth, and all its toils and sorrows. Rode this 
 day to one Chambers', upon the Susquehanna, and there 
 lodged. Was much afflicted in the evening with an 
 ungodly crew, drinking, swearing, &c. O what a hell 
 would it be, to be numbered with the ungodly ! En- 
 joyed some agreeable conversation with a traveller, 
 who seemed to have some relish of true religion. 
 
 Aug. 21 . "Rode up the river about fifteen miles, and 
 there lodged, in a family which appeared quite desti- 
 tute of God. Labored to discourse with the man about 
 the life of religion, but found him very artful in eva- 
 ding such conversation. O what a death it is to some, 
 to hear of the things of God ! Was out of my element ; 
 but was not so dejected as at some times. 
 
 Aug. 22. "Continued my course UD the river; my 
 people now being with me,- who before were parted 
 from me ; travelled above all the English settlements ; 
 at night lodged in the open woods, and slept with more 
 comfort than while among an ungodly company of 
 white people. Enjoyed some liberty in secret prayer 
 this evening ; and was helped to remember dear friends, 
 as well as my dear flock, and the church of God in 
 general.
 
 
 1745.] ON THE SOSQUEHANNA. 287 
 
 Aug. 23. "Arrived at the Indian town, called Shau- 
 mokinff, near night ; was not so dejected as formerly, 
 but yet somewhat exercised. Felt composed in the 
 evening, and enjoyed some freedom in leaving my ait 
 with God. 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 24. " Toward noon, visited some of 
 the Delawares, and conversed with them about Chris- 
 tianity. In the afternoon discoursed to the King, and 
 others, upon divine things; who seemed disposed to 
 hear. Spent most of the day in these exercises. In 
 the evening enjoyed some comfort and satisfaction; 
 and especially had some sweetness in secret prayer. 
 This duty was made so agreeable to me, that I loved 
 to walk abroad, and repeatedly engage in it. O how 
 comfortable is a little glimpse of God ! 
 
 Aug. 25. " Spent most of the day in writing. Sent 
 out my people that were with me, to talk with the In- 
 dians, and contract a friendship and familiarity with 
 them, that I might have a better opportunity of treat- 
 ing with them about Christianity. Some good seemed 
 to be done by their visit this day, many appeared will- 
 ing to hearken to Christianity. My spirits were a little 
 refreshed this evening, and I found some liberty and 
 satisfaction in prayer. 
 
 Aug. 26. " About noon, discoursed to a considerable 
 number of Indians. God helped me, I am persuaded ; 
 for I was enabled to speak with much plainness, and 
 some warmth and power; and the discourse had im- 
 pression upon some, and made them appear very se- 
 rious. I thought things now appeared as encouraging 
 as they did at Crossweeks. At the time of my first 
 visit to those Indians, I was a little encouraged ; I press- 
 ed things with all my might, and called out my peo- 
 ple, who were then present, to give in their testimony
 
 288 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 for God ; which they did. Toward night, was refresh- 
 ed ; had a heart to pray for the setting up of God's 
 Kingdom here, as well as for my dear congregation 
 below, and my dear friends elsewhere. 
 
 Aug. 28. " In the forenoon, I was under great con- 
 cern of mind about rny work. Was visited by some 
 who desired to hear me preach ; discoursed to them 
 in the afternoon with some fervency, and labored to 
 persuade them to turn to God. Was full of concern 
 for the kingdom of Christ, and found some enlarge- 
 ment of soul in prayer, both in secret and in my family. 
 Scarce ever saw more clearly, than this day, that it is 
 God's work to convert souls, and especially poor Hea- 
 thens. I knew I could not touch them ; I saw I could 
 only speak to dry bones, but could give them no sense 
 of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help : I 
 could say the work was his ; and if done, the glory 
 would be his. 
 
 Lord's day, Aug. 31. "Spent much time, in the 
 morning, in secret duties ; found a weight upon my 
 spirits, and could not but cry to God with concern and 
 engagement of soul. Spent some time also in reading 
 and expounding God's word to my dear family which 
 was with me, as well as in singing and prayer with 
 them. Afterwards spake the word of God to some 
 few of the Susquehanna Indians. In the afternoon, 
 felt very weak and feeble. Near night was somewhat 
 refreshed in mind, with some views of things relating 
 to my great work. O how heavy is my work, when 
 faith cannot take hold of an almighty arm for the per- 
 formance of it! Many times have I been ready to sink 
 in this case. Blessed be God, that I may repair to a 
 full fountain! 
 
 Sept. \. "Set out on a journey toward a place
 
 1746.] ON THE SUSaUEHANNA. 289 
 
 called The great Mand, about fifty miles distant from 
 Shaumoking, on the north-western branch of the Sus- 
 quehanna. Travelled some part of the way, and at 
 night lodged in the woods. Was exceedingly feeble 
 mis day, and sweat much the night following. 
 
 Sept. 2. "Rode forward, but no faster than my peo- 
 ple went on foot. Was very weak, on this as weli as 
 the preceding days. I was so feeble and faint, that I 
 feared it would kill me to lie out in the open air ; and 
 some of our company being parted from us, so that we 
 had now no axe with us, I had no way but to climb 
 into a young pine tree, and with my knife to lop the 
 branches, and so make a shelter from the dew. But 
 "the evening being cloudy, with a prospect of rain, I 
 was still under fears of being extremely exposed: 
 sweat much, so that my linen was almost wringing 
 wet all night. I scarcely ever was more weak and 
 weary than this evening, when I was able to sit up at 
 all. This was a melancholy situation ; but I endeavor- 
 ed to quiet myself with considerations of the possibility 
 of my being in much worse circumstances amongst 
 enemies, &c. 
 
 Sept. 3. " Rode to the Delaware-town ; found ma- 
 ny drinking and drunken. Discoursed with some of 
 the Indians about Christianity ; observed my interpre- 
 ter much engaged, and assisted in his work; a few per- 
 sons seemed to hear with great earnestness and engage- 
 ment of soul. About noon, rode to a small town of 
 Shauwaunoes, about eight miles distant ; spent an hour 
 or two there, and returned to the Delaware-town, and 
 lodged there. Was scarce ever more confounded with 
 a sense of my own unfruitfulness and unfitness for my 
 work than now. O what a dead, heartless, barren, un- 
 profitable wretch did I now see myself to be ! My 
 
 Brainord 19
 
 
 290 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 spirits were so low, and my bodily strength so wasted, 
 that J could do nothing at all. At length, being much 
 overdone, lay down on a buffalo-skin ; but sweat much 
 the whole night. 
 
 Sept. 4. " Discoursed with the Indians, m the morn- 
 ing, about Christianity; my Interpreter, afterward, 
 carrying OD the discourse to a considerable length. 
 Some few appeared well disposed, and somewhat affect- 
 ed. Left this place, and returned toward Shaumoking ; 
 and at night lodged in the place where I lodged the 
 Monday night- before : was in very uncomfortable cir- 
 cumstances in the evening, my people being late, and 
 not coming to me till past ten at night; so that I had 
 no fire to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm, or 
 keep off wild beasts ; and I was scarce ever more weak 
 and exhausted. However, I lay down and slept before 
 my people came up, expecting nothing else but to spend 
 the whole night alone, and without fire. 
 
 Sept. 5. "Was exceeding weak, so that I could 
 scarcely ride ; it seemed sometimes as if I must fall 
 from my horse, and lie in the open woods : however, 
 got to Shaumoking toward night: felt somewhat of a 
 spirit of thankfulness, that God had so far returned me : 
 was refreshed to see one of my Christians, whom I left 
 here in my late excursion. 
 
 Sept. 6. " Spent the day in a very weak state ; cough- 
 ing and spitting blood, and having little appetite for any 
 food I had with me ; was able to do very little, except 
 discourse a while of divine things to my own people, 
 and to some few I met with. Had, by this time, very 
 little life or heart to speak for God, through feebleness 
 of body. Was scarcely ever more ashamed and con- 
 founded in myself than now. I was sensible that 
 there were numbers of God's people who knew I was
 
 1746.] ON THE SUSftUEHANNA. 291 
 
 then out upon a design, or at least the pretence, of doing 
 something for God, and in his cause, among the poor 
 Indians ; and they were ready to suppose that I was 
 fervent in spirit; but O the heartless frame of my mind 
 filled me with confusion ! O, methought, if God's peo- 
 ple knew me as God knows, they would not think so 
 highly of my zeal and resolution for God as perhaps 
 now they do ! I could not but desire they should see 
 how heartless and irresolute I was, that they might be 
 undeceived, and ' not think of me above what they ought 
 to think.' And yet I thought, if they saw the utmost 
 of my unfaithfulness, the smallness of my courage and 
 resolution for God, they would be ready to shut me out 
 of their doors, as unworthy of the company or friend- 
 ship of Christians. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 7. "Was much in the same weak 
 state of body, and afflicted frame of mind, as in the 
 preceding day: my soul was grieved, and mourned 
 that I could do nothing for God. Read and expounded 
 some part of God's word to my own dear family, and 
 spent some time in prayer with them ; discoursed also 
 a little to the Pagans; but spent the Sabbath with a 
 little comfort. 
 
 Sept. 8. "Spent the forenoon among the Indians; 
 in the afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down 
 the river a few miles. Had proposed to tarry a con- 
 siderable time longer among the Indians upon the Sus - 
 quehanna, but was hindered from pursuing my pur- 
 pose by the sickness that prevailed there, the feeble 
 state of my own people that were with me, and espe- 
 cially my own extraordinary weakness, having been 
 exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing 
 up of blood, almost the whole of the journey. I was 
 a great part of the time so feeble and faint, that it seem-
 
 292 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 ed as though I never should be able to reach home; 
 and at the same time very destitute of the comforts, 
 and even the necessaries of life ; at least, what was ne- 
 cessary for one in so weak a state. In this journey I 
 sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God with 
 some power, and divine truth made some impression 
 on those who heard me ; so that several, both men and 
 women, old and young, seemed to cleave to us, and be 
 well disposed toward Christianity ; but others mocked 
 and shouted, which damped those who before seemed 
 friendly, at least some of them. Yet God, at times, was 
 evidently present, assisting me, my Interpreter, and 
 other dear friends who were with me. God gave some- 
 times a good degree of freedom in prayer for the in- 
 gathering of souls there ; and I could not but entertain 
 a strong hope, that the journey would not be wholly 
 fruitless. Whether the issue of it would be the setting 
 up of Christ's kingdom there, or only the drawing of 
 some few persons down to my congregation in New- 
 Jersey ; or whether they were now only preparing for 
 some farther attempts that might be made among them, 
 I did not determine; but I was persuaded the journey 
 would not be lost. Blessed be God, that I had any 
 encouragement and hope. 
 
 Sept. 9. " Rode down the river near thirty miles. 
 Was extremely weak, much fatigued, and wet with a 
 thunder storm. Discoursed with some warmth and 
 closeness to some poor ignorant souls, on the life and 
 power of religion : what were, and what were not the 
 evidences of it. They seemed much astonished when 
 they saw my Indians ask a blessing and give thanks at 
 dinner, concluding that a very high evidence of grace 
 in them ; but were equally astonished when I insisted 
 that neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was any sure
 
 * 
 "* 
 
 1746.] AT CRANBERRY. 2t>3 
 
 evidence of grace. O the ignorance of the world ! How 
 are some empty outward forms, that may all be entire- 
 ly selfish, mistaken for true religion, infallible evidences 
 of it ! The Lord pity a deluded world ! 
 
 Sept. 11. "Rode homeward; but was very weak s 
 and sometimes scarce able to ride. Had a very impor- 
 tunate invitation to preach at a meetiug-house I came 
 by, the people being then gathered, but could not by 
 reason of weakness. Was resigned and composed un- 
 der my weakness ; but was much exercised with con- 
 cern for my companions in travel, whom I had left 
 with much regret, some lame, and some sick. 
 
 Sept. 20. " Arrived among my own people, (near 
 Cranberry,) just at night : found them praying together; 
 went in, and gave them some account of God's deal- 
 ings with me and my companions in the journey ; 
 which seemed affecting to them. I then prayed with 
 them, and thought the divine presence was among us ; 
 several were melted into tears, and seemed to have a 
 sense of divine things. Being very weak, I was obliged 
 soon to repair to my lodgings, and felt much worn 
 out in the evening. Thus God has carried me through 
 the fatigues and perils of another journey to the Sus- 
 quehanna, and returned me again in safety, though 
 under a great degree of bodily indisposition. O that 
 my soul were truly thankful for renewed instances of 
 mercy ! Many hardships and distresses I endured in this 
 journey ; but the Lord supported me under them all." 
 
 Hitherto BRAINERD had kept a constant diary, giving 
 an account of what passed from day to day, with very 
 little interruption ; but henceforward his diary is very 
 much interrupted by his illness ; under which he was 
 often brought so low, as either not to be capable of 
 writing, or not well able to bear the burden of a care
 
 294 LIFE OP BKAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 so constant as was requisite to recollect every evening 
 what had passed in the day, and digest it, and put on 
 paper an orderly account of it. However, his diary 
 was not wholly neglected ; but he took care, from time 
 to time, to take some notice in it of the most material 
 things concerning himself and the state of his mind, 
 even till within a few days of his death. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 21, 1746. " I was so weak that 1 
 could not preach, nor pretend to ride over to my people 
 in the forenoon. In the afternoon rode out ; sat in my 
 chair, and discoursed to them from Rom. 14 : 7, 8. I 
 was strengthened and helped in my discourse, and 
 there appeared something agreeable in the assembly. 
 I returned to my lodgings extremely tired, but thank- 
 ful that I had been enabled to speak a word to my 
 poor people, from whom I had been so long absent. 
 Was enabled to sleep very little this night, through 
 weariness and pain. O how blessed should I be, if the 
 little I do were all done with right views ! O that, 
 ' whether I live, I might live to the Lord ; or whether 1 
 die, I might die unto the Lord ; that, whether living 01 
 dying, I might be the Lord's !' 
 
 Sept. 27. " Spent this day, as well as the whole 
 week past, under a great degree of bodily weakness; 
 exercised with a violent cough and a considerable 
 fever. I had no appetite for any kind of food, could 
 not retain it on my stomach, and frequently had little 
 rest in my bed, owing to pains in my breast and back. 
 I was able, however, to ride over to my people, about 
 two miles, every day, and take some care of those who 
 were then at work upon a small house for me to reside 
 in among the Indians.* I was sometimes scarce able 
 
 * This was the fourth house he built for his residence among 
 Ihe Indians. Beside that at Kaitnaumce/c, and that at the
 
 1746.] AT CRANBERRY. 295 
 
 to walk, and never able to sit up the whole day, through 
 the week. Was calm and composed, and but little ex- 
 ercised with melancholy, as in former seasons of weak- 
 ness. Whether I should ever recover or no, seemed 
 very doubtful ; but this was many times a comfort to 
 me, that life and death did not depend upon my choice. 
 I was pleased to think, that He who is infinitely wise, 
 had the determination of this matter ; and that I had 
 no trouble to consider and weigh things upon all sides, 
 in order to make the choice whether I should live or 
 die. Thus my time was consumed ; I had little strength 
 to pray, none to write or read, and scarce any to me- 
 ditate ; but, through divine goodness, I could with great 
 composure look death in the face, and frequently with 
 sensible joy. O how blessed it is to be habitually pre- 
 pared for death ! 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 28. " Rode to my people, and, 
 though under much weakness, attempted to preach 
 from 2 Cor. 13 : 5. Discoursed about half an hour, at 
 which season divine power seemed to attend the word ; 
 but being extremely weak, I was obliged to desist ; and 
 after a turn of faintness, with much difficulty rode to 
 my lodgings, where, betaking myself to my bed, I lay 
 in a burning fever, and almost delirious for several 
 hours, till, toward morning, my fever went off with a 
 violent sweat. I have often been feverish and unable 
 to rest quietly after preaching ; but this was the most 
 severe, distressing turn, that ever preaching brought 
 upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest in my own mind, 
 because I had made my utmost attempts to speak for 
 God, and knew I could do no more. 
 
 Fork* of Delaware, and another at Crosstceeksung, he built one 
 now at Cranberry
 
 296 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 Oct. 4. " Spent the former part of this week under 
 a great degree of infirmity and disorder, as I had done 
 several weeks before ; was able, however, to ride a little 
 every day, although unable to sit up half the day, till 
 Thursday. Took some care daily of some persons at 
 work upon my house. On Friday afternoon found my- 
 self wonderfully revived and strengthened. Having 
 some time before given notice to my people, and those 
 of them at the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I 
 designed, with the leave of Providence, to administer 
 the Lord's supper upon the first Sabbath in October, 
 on Friday afternoon I preached preparatory to the 
 ordinance, from 2 Cor. 13 : 5 ; finishing what I had 
 proposed to offer upon the subject the Sabbath before. 
 The sermon was blessed of God to the stirring up reli- 
 gious affection and a spirit of devotion in his people, 
 and greatly affected one who had backslidden from 
 God, which caused him to judge and condemn himself. 
 I was surprisingly strengthened in my work while I 
 was speaking; but was obliged immediately after to 
 repair to bed, being now removed into my own house 
 among the Indians. Spent some time in conversing 
 with my people about divine things as I lay upon my 
 bed, and found my soul refreshed, though my body 
 was weak. This being Saturday, I discoursed parti- 
 cularly with divers of the communicants ; and this af- 
 ternoon preached from Zech. 12 : 10. There seemed 
 to be a tender melting and hearty mourning for sin, in 
 numbers in the congregation. My soul was in a com- 
 fortable frame, and I enjoyed freedom and assistance 
 in public service ; was myself, as well as most of the 
 congregation, much affected with the humble confes- 
 sion and apparent broken-heartedness of the foremen- 
 tioned backslider, and could not but rejoice that God
 
 1746.] AT CRANBERRY. 297 
 
 had given him such a sense of his sin and unworthi- 
 ness. Was extremely tired in the evening, but lay on 
 my bed, and discoursed to my people. 
 
 Lord's day, Oct. 5. " Was still very weak; and in 
 the morning considerably afraid I should not be able 
 to go through the work of the day ; having much to 
 do, both in private and public. Discoursed before the 
 administration of the Lord's supper, from John, 1 : 29, 
 ' Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins 
 of the world.' Where I considered (1.) in what re- 
 spects Christ is called the ' Lamb of God ;' and ob- 
 served that he is so called, from the purity and inno- 
 cency of his nature from his meekness and patience 
 under sufferings from his being that atonement which 
 was pointed out in the sacrifice of lambs, and in parti- 
 cular by the paschal lamb. (2.) Considered how and 
 in what sense he ' takes away the sin of the world;' 
 and observed, that the means and manner in and by 
 which he takes away the sins of men, was his ' giving 
 himself for them,' doing and suffering in their room 
 and stead, &c. And he is said to take away the sin of 
 the world, not because all the world shall actually be 
 redeemed from sin by him, but because he has done 
 and suffered sufficient to answer for the sins of the 
 world, and so to redeem all mankind; he actually 
 does take away the sins of the elect world. And (3.) 
 considered how we are to behold him, in order to have 
 our sins taken away. Not with our bodily eyes; nor 
 by imagining him on the cross, &c.; but by a spiritual 
 view of his glory and goodness, engaging the soul to 
 rely on him, &c. The divine presence attended this 
 discourse ; and the assembly was considerably melted 
 with divine truth. After sermon, two made a public 
 profession, and I administered the Lord's supper to
 
 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 near forty communicants of the Indians, besides di- 
 vers dear Christians of the white people. It seemed 
 to be a season of divine.power and grace; and numbers 
 seemed to rejoice in God. O the sweet union and har- 
 mony then appearing among the religious people ! 
 My soul was refreshed, and my religious friends of 
 the white people with me. After the ordinance, could 
 scarcely get home, though it was not more than twenty 
 rods ; but was supported and led by my friends, and 
 laid on my bed; where I lay in pain till some time in 
 the evening; and then was able to sit up and discourse 
 with friends. O how was this day spent in prayers 
 and praises among my dear people ! One might hear 
 them, all the morning before public worship, and in 
 the evening, till near midnight, praying and singing 
 praises to God, in one or other of their houses. My 
 soul was refreshed, though my body was weak. 
 
 Oct. 11. "Toward night was seized with an ague, 
 which was followed with a hard fever and consider- 
 able pain; was treated with great kindness; and was 
 ashamed to see so much concern about so unworthy a 
 creature as I knew myself to be. Was in a comfort- 
 able frame of mind, wholly submissive, with regard to 
 life or death. It was indeed a peculiar satisfaction to 
 me, to think that it was not my concern or business to 
 determine whether I should live or die. I likewise 
 felt peculiarly satisfied, while under this uncommon 
 degree of disorder; being now fully convinced of my 
 being really weak, and unable to perform my work. 
 Whereas, at other times, my mind was perplexed with 
 fears that I was a misimprover of time, by conceiving 
 I was sick, when I was not in reality so. O how pre- 
 cious is time ! And how guilty it makes me feel, when 
 I think that I have trifled away and misimproved it
 
 1746.1 AT CRANBERRY. 299 
 
 or neglected to fill up each part of it with duty, to the 
 utmost of ray ability and capacity ! 
 
 Lord's day, Oct. 19. " Was scarcely able to do any 
 thing at all in the week past, except that on Thursday 
 I rode out about four miles ; at which time I took cold. 
 As I was able to do little or nothing, so I enjoyed not 
 much spirituality, or lively religious affection ; though 
 at some times I longed much to be more fruitful and 
 full of heavenly affection ; and was grieved to see the 
 hours slide away, while I could do nothing for God. 
 Was able this week to attend public worship. Was 
 composed and comfortable, willing either to die or 
 live; but found it hard to be reconciled to the thoughts 
 of living useless. Oh that I might never live to be a 
 burden to God's creation ; but that I might be allowed 
 to repair Jiom-e, when my sojourning- work is done !" 
 
 This week, he went back to his Indians at Cran- 
 berry, to take some care of their spiritual and tempo- 
 ral concerns ; and was much spent with riding, though 
 he rode but a little way in a day. 
 
 Oct. 23. " Went to my own house, and set things 
 in order. Was very weak, and somewhat melancholy ; 
 labored to do something, but had no strength ; and 
 was forced to lie down on my bed, very solitary. 
 
 Oct. 24. " Spent the day in overseeing and direct- 
 ing my people, about mending their fence and secur- 
 ing their wheat. Found that all their concerns of a 
 secular nature depended upon me. Was somewhat 
 refreshed in the evening, having been able to do some- 
 thing valuable in the day-time. O how it pains me to 
 see time pass away, when I can do nothing to any 
 purpose ! 
 
 Lord's day, Oct. 26. " In the morning was exceed- 
 ingly weak. Spent the day, till near night, in pain, to
 
 300 LIFE OF BHAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 see my poor people wandering ' as sheep not having 
 a shepherd,' waiting and hoping to see me able tc 
 preach to them before night. It could not but distress 
 me to see them in this case, and to find myself unable 
 to attempt any thing for their spiritual benefit. But 
 toward night, finding myself a little better, I called 
 them together to my house, and sat down, and read 
 and expounded Matthew, 5 : 1 16. This discourse, 
 though delivered in much weakness, was attended with 
 power to many of the hearers; especially what was 
 spoken upon the last of these verses; where I insisted 
 on the infinite wrong done to religion, by having our 
 light become darkness, instead of shining before men. 
 Many in the congregation were now deeply affected 
 with a sense of their deficiency with respect to a spi- 
 ritual conversation which might recommend religion 
 to others, and a spirit of concern and watchfulness 
 seemed to be excited in them. One, in particular, who 
 had fallen in the sin of drunkenness some time before, 
 was now deeply convinced of his sin, and the great 
 dishonor done to religion by his misconduct, and 
 discovered a great degree of grief and concern on that 
 account. My soul was refreshed to see this; and 
 though I had no strength to speak so much as I would 
 have done, but was obliged to lie down on the bed, yet 
 I rejoiced to see such an humble melting in the con- 
 gregation, and that divine truths, though faintly deli- 
 vered, were attended with so much efficacy upon the 
 auditory. 
 
 Oct. 27. " Spent the day in overseeing and direct- 
 ing the Indians about mending the fence round their 
 wheat: was able to walk with them, and contrive their 
 business, all the forenoon. In the afternoon, was vi- 
 sited by two dear friends, and spent some time in con-
 
 1746.] AT CRANBERRY. 301 
 
 versation with them. Toward night I was able to 
 walk out, and take care of the Indians again. In the 
 evening, enjoyed a very peaceful frame. 
 
 Oct. 28. " Rode to Princeton in a very weak state , 
 had such a violent fever by the way, that I was forced 
 to alight at a friend's house, and lie down for some 
 time. Near night, was visited by Mr. Treat, Mr. Beaty 
 and his wife, and another friend. My spirits were re- 
 freshed to see them ; but I was surprised, and even 
 ashamed, that they had taken so much pains as to ride 
 thirty or forty miles to see me. Was able to sit up 
 most of the evening; and spent the time in a very 
 comfortable manner with my friends. 
 
 Oct. 29. " Rode about ten miles with my friends 
 who came yesterday to see me ; and then parted with 
 them all but one, who stayed on purpose to keep me 
 company, and cheer my spirits. 
 
 Lord's day, Nov. 2. " Was unable to preach, and 
 scarcely able to sit up the whole day. Was grieved, 
 and almost sunk, to see my poor people destitute of the 
 means of grace ; especially as they could not read, and 
 so were under great disadvantages for spending the 
 Sabbath comfortably. O, methought, I could be con- 
 tented to be sick, if my poor flock had a faithful pastor 
 to feed them with spiritual knowledge ! A view of 
 their want of this was more afflictive to me than all my 
 bodily illness. 
 
 Nov. 3. " Being now in so weak and low a state 
 that I was utterly incapable of performing my work, 
 and having little hope of recovery, unless by much 
 riding, I thought it my duty to take a journey into 
 New-England, and to divert myself among my friends, 
 whom I had not now seen for a long time. Accord- 
 ingly I took leave of my congregation this day. Be-
 
 302 LIFE OF BRAINERD [Chap. IX. 
 
 fore I left my people, I visited them all in their respec- 
 tive houses, and discoursed to each one, as I thought 
 most proper and suitable for their circumstances, and 
 found great freedom in so doing. I scarcely left one 
 house but some were in tears; and many were not 
 only affected with my being about to leave them, but 
 with the solemn addresses I made them upon divine 
 things ; for I was helped to be fervent in spirit while I 
 discoursed to them. When I had thus gone through 
 my congregation, which took me most of the day, 
 and had taken leave of them, and of the school, I left 
 home, and rode about two miles, to the house where I 
 lived in the summer past, and there lodged. Was re- 
 freshed this evening, because I had left my congrega- 
 tion so well disposed and affected, and had been so 
 much assisted in making my farewell addresses to them. 
 
 Nov. 5. " Rode to Elizabethtown ; intending, as 
 soon as possible, to prosecute my journey into New- 
 England; but was, in an hour or two after my arrival, 
 taken much worse. For near a week I was confined to 
 my chamber, and most of the time to my bed ; and 
 then so far revived as to be able to walk about the 
 house; but was still confined within doors. 
 
 " In the beginning of this extraordinary turn of dis- 
 order after my coining to Elizabethtown, I was en- 
 abled, through mercy, to maintain a calm, composed, 
 and patient spirit, as I had been before from the begin- 
 ning of my weakness. After I had been in Elizabeth- 
 town about a fortnight, and had so far recovered that 
 I was able to walk about the house, upon a day of 
 thanksgiving kept in this place, I was enabled to recal 
 the mercies of God in such a manner as greatly affect- 
 ed me, and filled me with thankfulness and praise. 
 Especially my soul praised God for his work of grace
 
 1746.1 AT ELIZABETHTOWN 303 
 
 among the Indians, and the enlargement of his dear 
 kingdom. My soul blessed God for what he is in him- 
 self, and adored him, that he ever would display him- 
 self to creatures. I rejoiced that he was God, and 
 longed that all should know it, and feel it, and rejoice 
 in it. ' Lord, glorify thyself,' was the desire and cry 
 of my soul. O that all people might love and praise 
 the blessed God ; that he might have all possible honor 
 and glory from the intelligent world ! 
 
 " After this comfortable thanksgiving season, I fre- 
 quently enjoyed freedom, enlargement, and engaged- 
 ness of soul in prayer; and was enabled to intercede 
 with God for my dear congregation, very often for 
 every family, and every person in particular. It was 
 often a great comfort to me, that I could pray heartily 
 to God for those to whom I could not speak, and whom 
 I was not allowed to see. But, at other times, my spi- 
 rits were so low, and my bodily vigor so much wasted, 
 that I had scarce any affections at all. 
 
 "In December, I had revived so far as to be able to 
 walk abroad and visit my friends, and seemed to be 
 gaining health, in the main, until Lord's day, Decem- 
 ber 21, when I attended public worship, and labored 
 much, at the Lord's table, to bring forth a certain cor- 
 ruption, and have it slain, as being an enemy to God 
 and my own soul ; and could not but hope that I had 
 gained some strength against this, as well as other cor- 
 ruptions; and felt some brokenness of heart for my sin. 
 
 "After this, having perhaps taken some cold, I began 
 to decline as to bodily health; and continued to do so 
 till the latter end of January, 1747. Having a violent 
 cough, a considerable fever, an asthmatic disorder, and 
 no appetite for any manner of food, nor any power of 
 digestion, I was reduced to so low a state, that my
 
 304 LIFE OF BRA1NERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 friends, I believe, generally despaired of my life ; and 
 some of them, for a considerable time, thought I could 
 scarce live a day. I could then think of nothing with 
 any application of mind, and seemed to be in a great 
 measure void of all affection, and was exercised with 
 great temptations ; but yet was not, ordinarily, afraid 
 of death. 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 1. " Though in a very weak and 
 low state, I enjoyed a considerable degree of comfort 
 and sweetness in divine things; and was enabled to 
 plead and use arguments with God in prayer, I think, 
 with a child-like spirit. That passage of scripture oc- 
 curred to my mind, and gave me great assistance, 'If 
 ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your 
 children, how much more will your heavenly Father 
 give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?' This text 
 I was helped to plead, and insist upon; and saw the di- 
 vine faithfulness engaged for dealing with me better 
 than any earthly parent can do with his child. This 
 season so refreshed my soul, that my body seemed also 
 to be a gainer by it. From this time I began gradually 
 to amend. As I recovered some strength, vigor, and 
 spirit, I found at times some freedom and life in the ex- 
 ercises of derotion, and some longings after spirituality 
 and a life of usefulness to the interests of the great Re- 
 deemer. At other times, I was awfully barren and life- 
 less, and out of frame for the things of God ; so that I 
 was ready often to cry out, ' O that it were with me as 
 in months past!' O that God had taken me away in 
 the midst of my usefulness, with a sudden stroke, that 
 I might not have been under a necessity of trifling away 
 time in diversions ! O that I had never lived to spend 
 so much precious time in so poor a manner, and to so 
 little purpose ! Thus I often reflected, was grieved,
 
 1747.J AT ELIZABETHTOWN. 305 
 
 ashamed, and even confounded, sunk, and discouraged. 
 
 Feb. 24. "I was able to ride as far as Newark, 
 (having been confined in Elizabethtown almost four 
 months,) and the next day returned to Elizabethtown. 
 My spirits were somewhat refreshed with the ride, 
 though my body was weary. 
 
 Feb. 28. Was visited by an Indian of my own con- 
 gregation, who brought me letters, and good news of 
 the sober and good behavior of my people in general. 
 This refreshed my soul. I could not but retire and 
 bless God for his goodness; and found, I trust, a truly 
 thankful frame of spirit, that God seemed to be build- 
 ing up that congregation for himself. 
 
 March 4. " I met with reproof from a friend, which, 
 although I thought I did not deserve it from him, yet 
 was, I trust, blessed of God to make me more tenderly 
 afraid of sin, more jealous over myself, and more con- 
 cerned to keep both heart and life pure and unblame- 
 able. It likewise caused me to reflect on my past dead- 
 ness and want of spirituality, and to abhor myself, and 
 look on myself as most unworthy. This frame of 
 mind continued the next day; and for several days 
 after, I grieved to think that in my necessary diver- 
 sions I had not maintained more seriousness, solemni- 
 ty, and heavenly affection and conversation. Thus 
 my spirits were often depressed and sunk ; and yet, I 
 trust, that reproof was made to be beneficial to me. 
 ''March 11, being kept in Elizabethtown as a day of 
 fasting and prayer, I was able to attend public worship; 
 which was the first time I had been able so to do since 
 December 21. O how much weakness and distress did 
 God carry me through in this space of time! But 
 having obtained help from him,' I yet live. O that 
 I could live more to his glory ! 
 
 Brainerd. 20
 
 306 LIFE OF BRAIN ERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 Lord's day, March 15. " Was able again to attend 
 public worship, and felt some earnest desires of being 
 restored to the ministerial work : felt, I think, some 
 spirit and life to speak for God. 
 
 March 18. " Rode out with a design to visit my 
 people, and the next day arrived among them ; but 
 was under great dejection in my journey. 
 "On Friday morning I rose early, walked about 
 among my people, enquired into their state and con- 
 cerns, and found an additional weight and burden on 
 my spirits, upon hearing some things disagreeable. 1 
 endeavored to go to God with my distresses, and made 
 some kind of lamentable complaint, and in a broken 
 manner spread my difficulties before God ; but notwith- 
 standing, my mind continued very gloomy. -About 
 ten o'clock I called my people together, and after 
 having explained and sung a psalm, I prayed with 
 them. There was considerable affection among them ; 
 I doubt not, in some instances, that which was more 
 than merely natural." 
 
 This was the last interview which he ever had with 
 his people. About eleven o'clock the same day he left 
 them, and the next day came to Elizabethtown. 
 
 March 28. "Was taken this morning with violent 
 griping pains. These pains were extreme and con- 
 stant for several hours; so that ft seemed impossible 
 for me, without a miracle, to live twenty-four hours in 
 such distress. I lay confined to my bed the whole 
 day, and in distressing pain all the former part of it; 
 but it pleased God to bless means for the abatement of 
 my distress. Was exceedingly weakened by this pain, 
 and continued so for several days following; being ex- 
 ercised with a fever, cough, and nocturnal sweats. In 
 this distressed case, so long as my head was free of
 
 1747. J AT ELIZABETHTOWN. 307 
 
 vapory confusions, death appeared agreeable to me. 
 f looked on it as the end of toils, and an entrance into 
 a place 'where the weary are at rest;' and think I had 
 some relish for the entertainments of the heavenly 
 state ; so that by these I was allured and drawn, as well 
 as driven by the fatigues of life. O how happy it is 
 to be drawn by desires of a state of perfect holiness ! 
 
 April 4. "Was sunk and dejected, very restless and 
 uneasy, by reason of the misimprorement of time; 
 and yet knew not what to do. I longed to spend time 
 in fasting and prayer, that I might be delivered from 
 indolence and coldness in the things of God ; but, alas, 
 I had not bodily' strength for these exercises! O how 
 blessed a thing it is to enjoy peace of conscience ! but 
 how dreadful is a want of inward peace and com- 
 posure of soul ! It is impossible, I find, to enjoy this 
 happiness without redeeming time, and maintaining a 
 spiritual frame of mind. 
 
 Lord's day, April 5. " It grieved me to find myself 
 so inconceivably barren. My soul thirsted for grace ; 
 but, alas, how far was I from obtaining what appeared 
 to me so exceeding excellent ! I was ready to despair 
 of ever being a holy creature, and yet my soul was de- 
 sirous of ' following hard after God ;' but never did I 
 see myself so far from 'having apprehended, or being 
 already perfect,' as at this time. The Lord's supper 
 being this day administered, I attended the ordinance ; 
 and though I saw in myself a dreadful emptiness and 
 want of grace, and saw myself as it were at an infinite 
 distance from that purity which becomes the gospel, 
 yet at the communion, especially during the distribu- 
 tion of the bread, I enjoyed some warmth of affection, 
 and felt a tender love to the brethren ; and, I think, to 
 the glorious Uedeemer, the first-born among them. I
 
 308 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 endeavored then to bring forth mine and his 'enemies,' 
 and ' slay them before him ;' and found great freedom 
 in begging deliverance from this spiritual death, as 
 well as in asking divine favors for my friends and con- 
 gregation, and the church of Christ in general. 
 
 April 10. "This day my brother John arrived at 
 Elizabethtown. Spent some time in conversation with 
 him ; but was extremely weak." 
 
 This brother had been sent for by the Correspondents. 
 to take care of and instruct Brainerd's congregation of 
 Indians ; he being obliged by his illness to be absent 
 from them. He continued to take care of them till 
 Brainerd's death, and was soon after ordained his suc- 
 cessor in his mission, and to the charge of his congre- 
 gation. 
 
 April 17. " In the evening, could not but think that 
 God helped me to 'draw near to the throne of grace,' 
 though most unworthy, and gave me a sense of his fa- 
 vor ; which afforded me inexpressible support and en- 
 couragement. Though I scarcely dared to hope that 
 the mercy was real, it appeared so great ; yet could not 
 but rejoice that ever God should discover his recon- 
 ciled face to such a vile sinner. Shame and confusion, 
 at times, covered me ; and then hope, and joy, and ad- 
 miration of divine goodness gained the ascendancy. 
 Sometimes I could not but admire the divine goodness, 
 that the Lord had not let me fall into all the grossest 
 and vilest acts of sin. 
 
 April 20. " Was in a very disordered state, and kept 
 my bed most of the day. I enjoyed a little more com- 
 fort than in several of the preceding days. T7iis day 
 I arrived at tlie age of twenty-nine years. 
 
 April 21. " I set out on my journey for New Eng-
 
 1747.] IN CONNECTICUT. 309 
 
 land, in order (if it might be the will of God) to recover 
 my health by riding." 
 
 This proved his final departure from New-Jersey. 
 He travelled slowly, and arrived among his friends at 
 East-Haddam, about the beginning of May. There is 
 very little account in his diary, of the time that passed 
 from his setting out on his journey to May 10. He 
 speaks of his sometimes finding his heart rejoicing in 
 the glorious perfections of God, and longing to live to 
 him ; but complains of the unfixedness of his thoughts, 
 and their being easily diverted from divine subjects, 
 and cries out of his leanness, as testifying against him, 
 in the loudest manner. Concerning those diversions 
 which he was obliged to use for his health, he says, 
 that he sometimes found he could use diversions with 
 " singleness of heart," aiming at the glory of God ; but 
 that he also found there was a necessity of great care 
 and watchfulness, lest he should lose that spiritual tem- 
 per of mind in his diversions, and lest they should de- 
 generate into what was merely selfish, without any 
 supreme aim at the glory of God in them. 
 
 Lord's day, May 10. " I could not but feel some 
 measure of gratitude to God at this time, that he had 
 always disposed me, in my ministry, to insist on the 
 great doctrines of regeneration, the new creature,faith 
 in Christ, progressive sanctification, supreme love to 
 God. living entirely to the glory of God, being- not our 
 own., and the like. God thus helped me to see, in the 
 surest manner, from time to time, that these, and the 
 like doctrines necessarily connected with them, are the 
 only foundation of safety and salvation for perishing 
 sinners and that those divine dispositions which are 
 consonant hereto, are that holiness, ' without which no 
 man shall see the Lord.' The exercise of these God-
 
 310 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX, 
 
 like tempers wherein the soul acts in a kind of con- 
 cert with God, and would be and do every thing that 
 is pleasing to him I saw, would stand by the soul in 
 a dying hour ; for God must, I think, deny himself, if 
 he cast away Ms own image, even the soul that is one 
 in desires with himself. 
 
 Lord's day, May 17. " Spent the forenoon at home, 
 being unable to attend public worship. At this time, 
 God gave me such an affecting sense of my own vile- 
 ness, and the exceeding sinfulness of my heart, that 
 there seemed to be nothing but sin and corruption 
 within me. ' Innumerable evils compassed me about ;' 
 my want of spirituality and holy living, my neglect of 
 God, and living to myself. All the abominations of 
 my heart and life seemed to be open to my view ; and 
 I had nothing to say, but, 'God be merciful to me a 
 sinner.' Toward noon, I saw that the grace of God 
 in Christ is infinitely free toward sinners, such sinners 
 as I was. I also saw that God is the supreme good ; 
 that in his presence is life ; and I began to long to die, 
 that I might be with him, in a state of freedom from 
 all sin. O how a small glimpse of his excellency re- 
 freshed my soul ! O how worthy is the blessed God 
 to be loved, adored, and delighted in, for himself, for 
 his own divine excellencies ! 
 
 "Though I felt much dulness, and want of a spirit 
 of prayer this week, yet I had some glimpses of the 
 excellency of divine things ; and especially one morn- 
 ing, in secret meditation and prayer, the excellency 
 and beauty of holiness, as a likeness to the glorious 
 God, was so discovered to me, that I began to long 
 earnestly to be in that world where holiness dwells in 
 perfection. I seemed to long for this perfect holiness, 
 not so mi^ch for the sake of my own happiness, al-
 
 1747.] IN NORTHAMPTON. 311 
 
 though I saw clearly that this was the greatest, yea, the 
 only happiness of the soul, as that I might please God, 
 Jive entirely to him, and glorify him to the utmost 
 stretch of my rational powers and capacities. 
 
 fjord's day, May 24. " (At Long-Meadow, in Mas- 
 sachusetts.) Could not but think, as I have often re- 
 marked to others, that much more of true religion con- 
 sists in deep humility, brokenness of heart, and an abas- 
 ing sense of barrenness and want of grace and holiness, 
 than most who are called Christians imagine ; especi- 
 ally those who have been esteemed the converts of the 
 late day. Many seem to know of no other religion 
 but elevated joys and affections, arising only from some 
 flights of imagination, or some suggestion made to their 
 mind, of Christ being their's, God loving them, and the 
 like." 
 
 On Thursday, May 28, he came from Long-Meadow 
 to Northampton, appearing vastly better than, by his 
 account, he had been in the winter indeed so well, 
 that he was able to ride twenty-five miles in a day, and 
 to walk half a mile ; and appeared cheerful, and free 
 from melancholy ; but yet he was undoubtedly, at that 
 time, in a confirmed, incurable consumption. 
 
 I had had much opportunity, before this, of particu- 
 lar information concerning him, from many who were 
 well acquainted with him ; and had enjoyed a personal 
 interview with him, at New-Haven, near four years 
 before, as has been already mentioned ; but now I had 
 opportunity for a more full acquaintance. I found him 
 remarkably sociable, pleasant, and entertaining in his 
 conversation ; yet solid, savory, spiritual, and very 
 profitable. He appeared meek, modest, and humble ; far 
 from any stiffness, moroseness, or affected singularity 
 in speech or behavior, and seeming to dislike all such
 
 . . 
 
 312 UFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap.LX. 
 
 things. We enjoyed not only the benefit of his con- 
 versation, but had the comfort and advantage of join- 
 ing with him in family prayer, from time to time. His 
 manner of praying was very agreeable, most becom- 
 ing a worm of the dust and a disciple of Christ, ad- 
 dressing an infinitely great and holy God, the Father 
 of mercies ; not with florid expressions, or a studied 
 eloquence ; not with any intemperate vehemence, or 
 indecent boldness. It was at the greatest distance from 
 any appearance of ostentation, and from every thing 
 that might look as though he meant to recommend 
 himself to those that were abouthim, or set himself off to 
 their acceptance. It was free also from vain repetitions; 
 without impertinent excursions, or needless multiply- 
 ing of words. He expressed himself with the strictest 
 propriety, with weight and pungency ; and yet, what 
 his lips uttered seemed to flow from the fulness of his 
 heart, as deeply impressed with a great and solemn 
 sense of our necessities, unworthiness, and dependence, 
 and of God's infinite greatness, excellency and suffi- 
 ciency, rather than merely from a warm and fruitful 
 brain, pouring out good expressions. I know not that 
 I ever heard him so much as ask a blessing or return 
 thanks at table, but there was something remarkable to 
 be observed both in the matter and manner of the per- 
 formance. In his prayers, he insisted much on the 
 prosperity of Zion, the advancement of Christ's king- 
 dom in the world, and the flourishing and propagation 
 of religion among the Indians. And he generally made 
 it one petition in his prayer, " that we might not outlive 
 our usefulness." 
 
 Lord's day, May 31. "(At Northampton.) I had 
 little inward sweetness in religion most of the week 
 past ; not realizing and beholding spiritually the glory
 
 *> 
 
 1747.] IN NORTHAMPTON. 313 
 
 of God and the blessed Redeemer ; from whence al- 
 ways arise my comforts and joys in religion, if I have 
 any at all ; and if I cannot so behold the excellencies 
 and perfections of God, as to cause me to rejoice in him 
 for what he is in himself, I have no solid foundation 
 for joy. To rejoice, only because I apprehend I have 
 an interest in Christ, and shall be finally saved, is a poor 
 mean business indeed." 
 
 This week he consulted Dr. Mather, at my house, 
 concerning his illness; who plainly told him, that there 
 were great evidences of his being in a confirmed con- 
 sumption, and that he could give him no encourage- 
 ment that he would ever recover. But it seemed not 
 to occasion the least discomposure in him, nor to make 
 any manner of alteration as to the cheerfulness and 
 serenity of his mind, or the freedom or pleasantness of 
 his conversation. *".*. *. 
 
 Lord's day, June 7. " My attention was greatly en- 
 gaged, and my soul so drawn forth this day, by what 
 1 heard of the ' exceeding preciousness of the saving 
 grace of God's Spirit,' that it almost overcame my 
 body, in my weak state. I saw that true grace is ex- 
 ceedingly precious indeed ; that it is very rare ; and 
 that there is but a very small degree of it, even where 
 the reality of it is to be found ; at least I saw this to be 
 my case. 
 
 "In the preceding week, I enjoyed some comforta- 
 ble seasons of meditation. One morning, the cause of 
 God appeared exceedingly precious to me. The Re- 
 deemer's kingdom is all that is valuable in the earth, 
 and I could not but long for the promotion of it in the 
 world. I saw also, that this cause is God's ; that he 
 has an infinitely greater regard and concern for it than 
 [ could possibly have ; that if I have any true love to
 
 314 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 this blessed interest, it is only a drop derived from that 
 ocean. Hence I was ready to 'lift up my head with 
 joy,' and conclude, 'Well, if God's cause be so dear 
 and precious to him, he will promote it.' Thus I did, 
 as it were, rest on God that he would surely promote 
 that which was so agreeable to his own will ; though 
 the time when, must still be left to his sovereign plea- 
 sure." 
 
 He was advised by physicians still to continue rid- 
 ing, as what would tend, above any other means, to 
 prolong his life. He was at a loss, for some time, which 
 way to bend his course ; but finally determined to ride 
 from hence to Boston ; we having concluded that one 
 of our family should go with him, and be helpful to 
 him in his weak and low state. 
 
 June 9. " I set out on a journey from Northampton 
 to Boston. Travelled slowly, and got some acquaint- 
 ance with a number of ministers on the road. 
 
 "Having now continued to ride for a considerable 
 time, I felt much better than I had formerly done, and 
 found, that in proportion to the prospect I had of being 
 restored to a state of usefulness, I desired the continu- 
 ance of life ; but now death appeared inconceivably 
 more desirable to me than a useless life ; yet, blessed 
 be God, I found my heart, at times, fully resigned and 
 reconciled to this greatest of afflictions, if God saw fit 
 thus to deal with me. 
 
 June 12. " I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat 
 fatigued with my journey. Observed that there is no 
 rest but in God ; fatigues of body, and anxieties of 
 mind, attend us both in town and country : no place is 
 exempt. 
 
 Lord's day, June 14. "I enjoyed some enlarge- 
 ment and sweetness in family prayer, as well as in se-
 
 1747.1 AT BOSTON. 315 
 
 cret exercises ; God appeared excellent, his ways full 
 of pleasure and peace, and all I wanted was a spirit of 
 holy fervency to live to him. 
 
 June 17. " This and the two preceding days I spent 
 mainly in visiting the ministers of the town, and was 
 treated with great respect by them. 
 
 June 18. "I was taken exceedingly ill, and brought 
 to the gates of death, by the breaking of small ulcers 
 in my lungs, as my physician supposed. In this ex- 
 tremely weak state I continued for several weeks ; and 
 was frequently reduced so low as to be utterly speech- 
 less, and not so much as to whisper a word. Even af- 
 ter I had so far revived as to walk about the house, and 
 to step out of doors, I was exercised every day with a 
 faint turn, which continued usually four or five hours; 
 at which times, though I was not so utterly speechless 
 but that I could say yes or no, yet I could not con- 
 verse at all, nor speak one sentence, without making 
 stops for breath ; and a number of times my friends 
 gathered round my bed, to see me breathe my last, 
 which they expected every moment, as I myself also did. 
 
 "How I was, the first day or two of my illness, with 
 regard to the exercise of reason, I scarcely know. I 
 believe I was somewhat shattered with the violence 
 of the fever at times ; but the third day of my illness, 
 and constantly afterward, for four or five weeks to- 
 gether, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind, and clear- 
 ness of thought, as perhaps ever in my life. I think 
 that my mind never penetrated with so much ease and 
 freedom into divine things, as at this time ; and I never 
 felt so capable of demonstrating the truth of many im- 
 portant doctrines of the Gospel as now. As I saw clearly 
 thetruth of those great doctrines, which are justly styled 
 the doctrines of grace ; so I saw with no less clearness,
 
 316 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 that the essence of religion consisted in the soul's confor- 
 mityto God, and acting above all selfish views forhis^/o- 
 ry, longing to be^br him, to live to him, and please and 
 honor him in all things : and this from a clear view of 
 his infinite excellency and worthiness in himself, to be 
 loved, adored, worshipped, and served by all intelli- 
 gent creatures. Thus I saw, that when a soul loves God 
 with a supreme love, he therein acts like the blessed 
 God himself, who most justly loves himself in that 
 manner. So when God's interest and his are become 
 one, and he longs that God should be glorified, and re- 
 joices to think that he is unchangeably possessed of 
 the highest glory and blessedness, herein also he acts 
 in conformity to God. In like manner, when the soul 
 is fully resigned to, and rests satisfied and content with 
 the divine will, here it is also conformed to God. 
 
 " I saw farther, that as this divine temper, by which 
 the soul exalts God, and treads self in the dust, is 
 wrought in the soul by God's discovering his own glo- 
 rious perfections in the face of Jesus Christ to it by the 
 special influences of the Holy Spirit, so he cannot but 
 have regard to it as his own work ; and as it is his 
 image in his soul, he cannot but take delight in it. 
 Then I saw again, that if God should slight and reject 
 his own moral image, he must needs deny himself; 
 which he cannot do. And thus I saw the stability and 
 infallibility of this religion ; and that those who are tru- 
 ly possessed of it, have the most complete and satisfy- 
 ing evidence of their being interested in all the bene- 
 fits of Christ's redemption, having their hearts conform- 
 ed to him ; and that these, and these only, are qualified 
 for the employments and entertainments of God's king- 
 dom of glory ; as none but these have any relish for 
 the business of heaven, which is to ascribe glory to 

 
 1747.J AT BOSTON. 317 
 
 God, and not to themselves ; and that God (though 1 
 would speak it with great reverence of his name and 
 perfection) cannot, without denying himself, finally 
 cast such away. 
 
 " The next thing I had then to do, was to inquire 
 whether this was my religion ; and here God was pleas- 
 ed to help me to the most easy remembrance and criti- 
 cal review of what had passed in course, of a religious 
 nature, through several of the latter years of my life, 
 Although I could discover much corruption attending 
 my best duties, many selfish views and carnal ends, 
 much spiritual pride and self-exaltation, and innume- 
 rable other evils which compassed me about, yet God 
 was pleased, as I was reviewing, quickly to put this 
 question out of doubt, by showing me that 1 had, from 
 time to time, acted above the utmost influence of mere 
 self-love ; that I had longed to please and glorify him, 
 as my highest happiness, &c. This review was, through 
 grace, attended with a present feeling of the same di- 
 vine temper of mind. I felt now pleased to think of 
 the glory of God, and longed for heaven, as a state 
 wherein I might glorify him perfectly, rather than a 
 place of happiness for myself. This feeling of the love 
 of God in my heart, which I trust the Spirit of God ex- 
 cited in me afresh, was sufficient to give me a full sa- 
 tisfaction, and make me long, as I had many times be- 
 fore done, to be with Christ. 
 
 " As God was pleased to afford me clearness of 
 thought, and composure of mind, almost continually 
 for several weeks, under my. great weakness; so he 
 enabled me, in some measure, to improve my time, as 
 I hope, to valuable purposes. I was enabled to write 
 n number of important letters to friends in remote 
 places ; and sometimes I wrote when I was speechless.
 
 318 LIFE OF BKAINERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 i. e. unable to maintain conversation with any body ; 
 though perhaps I was able to speak a word or two so 
 as to be heard. 
 
 " At this season also, while I was confined at Boston, 
 I read with care and attention some papers of old Mr. 
 Shepard, lately come to light, and designed for the 
 press; and, as I was desired and greatly urged, made 
 some corrections where the sense was left dark for 
 want of a word or two. Beside this, I had many vi- 
 sitants, with whom, when I was able to speak, I always 
 conversed of the things of religion, and was peculiarly 
 assisted in distinguishing between the true and false 
 religion of the times. There is scarcely any subject 
 which has been matter of controversy of late, but I was 
 at one time or other compelled to discuss and show my 
 opinion respecting it, and that frequently before num- 
 bers of people. Especially, I discoursed repeatedly on 
 the nature and necessity of that humiliation, self-ewp- 
 tiness, or full conviction of a person's being utterly 
 undone in himself, which is necessary in order to a 
 saving faith ; and the extreme difficulty of being brought 
 to this, and the great danger there is of persons taking 
 up with some self-righteous appearances of it. The 
 danger of this I especially dwelt upon, being persuaded 
 that multitudes perish in this hidden way ; and because 
 so little is said from most pulpits to discover any dan- 
 ger here ; so that persons being never effectually brought 
 to die in themselves, are never truly united to Christ, 
 and so perish. I also discoursed much on what I take 
 to be the essence of true religion ; endeavoring plainly 
 to describe that god-like temper and disposition of soul, 
 and that holy conversation and behavior, which may 
 justly claim the honor of having God for its original 
 and patron. I have reason to hope God blessed my
 
 1747.] AT BOSTON. 319 
 
 way of discoursing and distinguishing to some, both 
 ministers and people ; so that my time was not wholly 
 lost." 
 
 He was visited while in Boston by many, who showed 
 him uncommon respect, and appeared highly pleased 
 and entertained with his conversation. Beside being 
 honored with the company and respect of ministers of 
 the town, he was visited by several ministers from va- 
 rious parts of the country. He took all opportunities 
 to discourse on the peculiar nature and distinguishing 
 characteristics of true, spiritual, and vital religion ; and 
 to bear his testimony against the various false appear- 
 ances of it, consisting in, or arising from impressions 
 on the imagination, sudden and supposed immediate 
 suggestions of truth not contained in the Scripture, 
 and that faith which consists primarily in a person's 
 believing that Christ died for him in particular, &c. 
 What he said was, for the most part, heard with un- 
 common attention and regard ; and his discourses and 
 reasonings appeared manifestly to have great weight 
 and influence with many with whom he conversed, 
 both ministers and others. 
 
 The Commissioners in Boston, of the Society in 
 London for propagating the Gospel in New-England 
 and parts adjacent, having received a legacy of the 
 late Rev. Dr. Daniel "Williams, of London, for the sup- 
 port of two missionaries to the heathen, were pleased, 
 while he was in Boston, to consult him about a mission 
 to those Indians called the Six Nations, particularly re- 
 specting the qualifications requisite in a missionary to 
 those Indians. They were so satisfied with his senti- 
 ments on this head, and had such confidence in his 
 faithfulness, his judgment and discretion in things of 
 this nature, that they desired him to undertake to find
 
 320 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 and recommend two persons fit to be employed in this 
 business ; and very much left the matter with him. 
 
 BRAINERD'S restoration from his extremely low state 
 in Boston, so as to go abroad again, and to travel, was 
 very unexpected to him and his friends. My daughter, 
 who was with him, writes thus concerning him, in a 
 letter dated June 23 : 
 
 " On Thursday, he was very ill with a violent fever, 
 and extreme pain in his head and breast, and at turns 
 delirious. So he remained till Saturday evening, when 
 he seemed to be in the agonies of death; the family was 
 up with him till one or two o'clock, expecting that 
 every hour would be his last. On Sabbath day he was 
 a little revived, his head was better, but he was very 
 full of pain, exceeding sore at his breast, and had great 
 difficulty in breathing. Yesterday he was better. Last 
 night he slept but little. This morning he was much 
 worse. Dr. Pynchon says, he has no hope of his life ; 
 nor does he think it likely that he will ever come out 
 of the chamber ; though he says he may be able to 
 come to Northampton." 
 
 In another letter, dated June 29, she says :" Mr. 
 BRAINERD has not so much pain, nor fever, since I last 
 wrote, as before ; yet he is extremely weak and low, 
 and very faint, expecting every day will be his last. 
 He says it is impossible for him to live, for he has 
 hardly vigor enough to draw his breath. I went this 
 morning into town, and when I came home, Mr. Brom- 
 field said he never expected I should see him alive, for 
 he lay two hours, as they thought, dying ; one could 
 scarcely tell whether he was alive or not; he was not 
 able to speak for some time ; but now is much as he 
 was before. The doctor thinks he will drop away in 
 such a turn. Mr. BRAINERD says, he never felt any
 
 747.] AT BOSTON. 321 
 
 thing so much like dissolution as that he felt to-day; 
 and says, he never had any conception of its being 
 oossible for any creature to be alive, and yet so weak 
 as he is from day to day. Dr. Pynchon says, he shontd 
 not be surprised if he should so recover as to live half 
 a year ; nor would it surprise him if he should die in 
 naif a day. Since I began to write, he is not so well, 
 having had a faint turn again : yet he is patient and re- 
 signed, having no distressing fears, but the contrary." 
 
 He expressed himself to one of my neighbors, who 
 at that time saw him in Boston, that he was as certain- 
 ly a dead man, as if he was shot through the heart. 
 Bat so it was ordered in divine Providence, that the 
 strength of nature held out, and he revived, to the as- 
 tonishment of all who knew his case. 
 
 After he began to revive, he was visited by his 
 youngest brother, ISRAEL, a student at Yale College ; 
 who having heard of his extreme illness, went from 
 thence to Boston, in order to see him; if he might find 
 him alive, which he but little expected. BRAINERD 
 greatly rejoiced to see his brother, especially because 
 he had desired an opportunity of some religious con- 
 versation with him before he died. But this meeting 
 was attended with sorrow, as his brother brought to 
 him the tidings of his sister Spencer's death, at Had- 
 dam ; a sister, between whom and him had long sub- 
 sisted a peculiarly dear affection, and much intimacy 
 in spiritual things, and whose house he used to make 
 his own when he went to Haddam, his native place. 
 But he had a confidence of her being gone to heaven, 
 and an expectation of soon meeting her there. His 
 brother continued with him till he left the town, and 
 came with him from thence to Northampton. Con- 
 cerning the last Sabbath Brainerd spent in Boston, he 
 writes in his diary as follows : 
 
 Brainenl. 21
 
 322 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 Lord's day, July 19. " I was just able to attend 
 public worship, being carried to the house of God in a 
 chaise. Heard Dr. Sewall preach in the forenoon: 
 partook of the Lord's supper at this time. In this or- 
 dinance I saw astonishing divine wisdom displayed, 
 such wisdom as clearly required the tongues of angels 
 and glorified saints to celebrate. It seemed to me that 
 I never should do any thing at adoring the infinite 
 wisdom of God, discovered in the contrivance of man's 
 redemption, until I arrived at a world of perfection ; 
 yet I could not help striving ' to call upon my soul, 
 and all within me, to bless the name of God.' In the 
 afternoon, heard Mr. Prince preach. I saw more of 
 God in the wisdom discovered in the /plan of man's 
 redemption, than I saw of any other of his perfections, 
 through the whole day." 
 
 The next day, having bid an affectionate farewell to 
 his friends, he set out in the cool of the afternoon, on 
 his journey to Northampton, attended by his brother 
 and my daughter, who went with him to Boston ; and 
 would have been accompanied out of the town by a 
 number of gentlemen, besides the respected person 
 who gave him his company for some miles on that 
 occasion, as a testimony of their esteem and respect, 
 had not his aversion to any thing of pomp and show 
 prevented it. 
 
 Jidy-25. "I arrived here, at Northampton; having 
 set out from Boston on Monday, about 4 o'clock P. M. 
 In this journey I usually rode about sixteen miles a 
 day. Was sometimes extremely tired and faint on the 
 road, so that it seemed impossible for me to proceed 
 any further; at other times I was considerably better, 
 and felt some freedom both of body and mind. 
 
 Lord's day, July 26. " This day I saw clearly that
 
 1747.] AT NORTHAMPTON. 323 
 
 I should never be happy ; yea, that God himself could 
 not make me happy, unless I could be in a capacity to 
 ' please and glorify him for ever.' Take away this, 
 and admit me in all the fine heavens that can be con- 
 ceived of by men or angels, and I should still be mi- 
 serable for ever." 
 
 Though he had so revived as to be able to travel 
 thus far, yet he manifested no expectation of recovery. 
 He supposed, as his physician did, that his being 
 brought so near to death at Boston, was owing to the 
 breaking of ulcers in his lungs. He told me that he 
 had several such ill turns before, only not to so high 
 a degree, but, as he supposed, owing to the same cause, 
 viz. the breaking of ulcers; that he was brought lower 
 and lower every time; that it appeared to him, that in 
 his last sickness he was brought as low as he could be, 
 and yet live ; and that he had not the least expectation 
 of surviving the next return of this breaking of ulcers ; 
 he still appeared perfectly calm in the prospect of 
 death. 
 
 On Wednesday morning, the week after he came to 
 Northampton, his brother Israel left us for New-Haven, 
 and ne took leave of him, never expecting to see him 
 agiiin in this world. 
 
 When BRMNERD came hither, he had so much strength 
 as to be able, from day to day, to ride out two or three 
 miles, and sometimes to pray in the family ; but from 
 this time he gradually decayed, becoming weaker and 
 weaker. As long as he lived, he spoke much of that 
 future prosperity of Z ion which is so often foretold and 
 promised in the Scriptures ; it was a theme upon which 
 he delighted to dwell; and his mind seemed to be car- 
 ried fortli with earnest concern about it, and intense 
 desires that religion might speedily and abundantly re-
 
 824 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 vive and flourish ; yea, the nearer death advanced, and 
 the more the symptoms of its approach increased, still 
 the more did his mind seem to be taken up with this 
 subject. He told me, when near his end, that "he 
 never, in all his life, had his mind so led forth in de- 
 sires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ's 
 kingdom on earth, as since he was brought so exceed- 
 ing low at Boston." He seemed much to wonder that 
 there appeared no more of a disposition in ministers 
 and people to pray for the flourishing of religion 
 through the world; that so little a part of their prayers 
 was generally taken up about it, in their families and 
 elsewhere. Particularly, he several times expressed 
 his wonder that there appeared no more forwardness 
 to comply with the proposal lately made, in a Memo- 
 rial from a number of ministers in Scotland, and sent 
 over into America, for united extraordinary prayer, 
 amongst Christ's ministers and people, for the coming 
 of Christ's kingdom : and sent it as his dying advice to 
 his own congregation, that they should practise agree- 
 ably to that proposal. 
 
 Though he was constantly exceeding weak, yel 
 there appeared in him a continual care well to improve 
 time, and fill it up with something that might be pro- 
 fitable, and in some respect for the glory of God or the 
 good of men ; either profitable conversation, or writing 
 letters to absent friends ; or noting something in his 
 diary ; or looking over his former writings, correcting 
 them, and preparing them to be left in the hands of 
 others at his death ; or giving some directions concern- 
 ing the future management of his people ; or in secret 
 devotions. He seemed never to be easy, however il), 
 if he was not doing something for God, or in his ser- 
 vice. After he came hither, he wrote a preface to a
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 326 
 
 diary of Mr. SHEPARD, contained in the papers above 
 mentioned, which has since been published. 
 
 In his diary for Lord's day, August 9, he speaks of 
 longing desires after death, through a sense of the ex- 
 cellency of a state of perfection. In his diary for 
 Lord's day, August 16, he speaks of his having so 
 much refreshment of soul in the house of God, that il 
 seemed also to refresh his body. And this is not only 
 noted in his diary, but was very observable to others ; 
 it was apparent, not only that his mind was exhilarated 
 with inward consolation, but also that his animal spirits 
 and bodily strength seemed to be remarkably restored, 
 as though he had forgot his illness. But this was the 
 last time that ever he attended public worship on the 
 Sabbath. 
 
 On Tuesday morning that week, as I was absent on 
 a journey, he prayed with my family, but not without 
 much difficulty, for want of bodily strength ; and this 
 was the last family prayer that he ever made. He had 
 been wont, till now, frequently to ride out, two or three 
 miles : but this week, on Thursday, was the last time 
 he ever did so. 
 
 Lortfs day, Aug. 23. " This morning I was con- 
 siderably refreshed with the thought, yea, the hope 
 and expectation of the enlargement of Christ's king- 
 dom ; and I could not but hope that the time was at 
 hand, when Babylon the great would fall, and ' rise no 
 more.' This led me to some spiritual meditations, 
 which were very refreshing to me. I was unable to 
 attend public worship either part of the day ; but God 
 was pleased to afford me fixedness and satisfaction in 
 divine thoughts. Nothing so refreshes my soul, as when 
 I can go to God, yea, ' to God my exceeding joy 
 
 og Brainerd.
 
 326 an OP BRAINEHD. [ Chap. IX 
 
 When he is such to my soul, O how unspeakably de- 
 lightful is this ! 
 
 " In the week past I had divers turns of inward re- 
 freshing, though my body was inexpressibly weak, fol- 
 lowed continually with agues and fevers. Sometimes 
 my soul centered in God, as my only portion ; and I 
 felt that I should be for ever unhappy, if He did not 
 reign. I saw the sweetness and happiness of being his 
 subject, at his disposal. This made all my difficulties 
 quickly vanish." 
 
 Till this week he had been wont to lodge in a room 
 above stairs, but he now grew so weak, that he was no 
 longer able to go up stairs and down. Friday, August 
 28, was the last time he ever went above stairs; hence- 
 forward he betook himself to a lower room. 
 
 On Wednesday, Sept. 2, being the day of our public 
 lecture, he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the 
 neighboring ministers who came hither to the lecture, 
 and expressed a great desire once more to go to the 
 house of God on that day ; and accordingly rode to the 
 meeting, and attended divine service, while the Rev. 
 Mr. Woodbridge, of Hatfield, preached. He signified 
 that he supposed it to be the last time he should ever 
 attend public worship ; as it proved. Indeed it was the 
 last time that he ever went out of our gate. 
 
 On the Saturday evening next following, he was un- 
 expectedly visited by his brother, Mr. JOHN BRAINERD, 
 who came to see h.m from New-Jersey. He was much 
 refreshed by this unexpected visit, this brother being 
 peculiarly dear to him ; and he seemed to rejoice in a 
 devout and solemn manner, to see him, and to hear 
 the comfortable tidings Which he brought concerning 
 the state of his dear congregation of Christian Indians. 
 A circumstance of this visit of which he was exceed-
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 327 
 
 ingly glad, was, that his brother brought him some of 
 his private writings from New-Jersey, and particularly 
 his diary, which he had kept for many years past. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 6. " I began to read some of my 
 private writings which my brother brought me, and 
 was considerably refreshed with what I found in them. 
 
 Sept. 7. " I proceeded further in reading my old 
 private writings, and found that they had the same 
 effect upon me as before. I could not but rejoice and 
 bless God for what passed long ago, which, without 
 writing, had been entirely lost. 
 
 " This evening, when I was in great distress of body, 
 my soul longed that God should be glorified. O that 
 I could for ever live to God ! The day, I trust, is at 
 hand, the perfect day. O the day of deliverance from 
 all sin ! 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 13. " I was much refreshed and 
 engaged in meditation and writing, and found a heart 
 to act for God. My spirits were refreshed, and my 
 soul delighted to do something for God." 
 
 On the evening of that Lord's day, his feet began 
 to swell ; and thenceforward swelled more and more : 
 a symptom of his dissolution coming on. The next 
 day, his brother John left him, being obliged to return 
 to New-Jersey on some business of great importance 
 and necessity ; intending to return again with all pos- 
 sible speed, hoping to see his brother yet once more in 
 the land of the living. 
 
 BRAINERD having now, with much deliberation, con- 
 sidered the subject referred to him by the commission- 
 ers of the Society for propagating the Gospel in New- 
 England and parts adjacent, wrote them about this 
 time, recommending two young gentlemen of his ac- 
 quaintance, Mr. Elihu Spencer, of East Haddam, and Mr.
 
 328 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. IX. 
 
 Job Strong, of Northampton, as suitable missionaries 
 to the Six Nations. The commissioners, on the receipt 
 of this letter, cheerfully and unanimously agreed to ac- 
 cept of and employ the persons whom he had recom- 
 mended. 
 
 On Wednesday, Sept. 16, he wrote to some charitable 
 gentlemen in Boston in behalf of the Indian school, 
 showing the need of another schoolmaster, or some per- 
 son to assist the schoolmaster in instructing the Indian 
 children. These gentlemen, on the receipt of his letter, 
 had a meeting, and agreed with great cheerfulness to 
 give 200 (in bills of the old tenor) for the support of 
 another schoolmaster ; and desired the Rev. Mr. Pem- 
 berton, of New-York, (who was then at Boston, and was 
 also at their desire, present at the meeting,) as soon as 
 possible to procure a suitable person for that service ; 
 and also agreed, in accordance with an intimation from 
 BRAINERD, to allow 74 to defray some special charges 
 which were requisite to encourage the mission to the 
 Six Nations. 
 
 BRAINERD spent himself much in writing those letters, 
 being exceedingly weak ; but it seemed to be much to 
 his satisfaction that he had been enabled to do it, hop- 
 ing that it was something done for God, and which 
 might be for the advancement of Christ's kingdom and 
 glory. In writing the last of these letters, he was 
 obliged to use the hand of another. 
 
 On Thursday of this week, (Sept. 17,) when he went 
 out of his lodging-room for the last time, he was again 
 visited by his brother ISRAEL, who continued with him 
 till his death. On that evening he was taken with some- 
 thing of a diarrhea, which he looked upon as another 
 sign of his approaching death ; whereupon he expressed 
 himself thus: " Oh, the glorious time is now coming!
 
 1747. J AT NORTHAMPTON. 329 
 
 I have longed to serve God perfectly : now God will 
 gratify those desires !" And from time to time, at the 
 several steps and new symptoms of the sensible ap- 
 proach of his dissolution, he was so far from being 
 sunk or depressed in spirits, that he seemed to be ani- 
 mated and made more cheerful, as being glad at the 
 appearance of death's approach. He often used the 
 epithetg"/0nows, when speaking of the day of his death, 
 calling it that glorious day. And as he saw his disso- 
 lution gradually approaching, he talked much about it ; 
 and with perfect calmness spoke of a future state. He 
 also settled all his affairs, giving directions very parti- 
 cularly and minutely concerning what he would have 
 done in one respect and another after his decease. And 
 the nearer death approached, the more desirous he 
 seemed to be to depart. He several times spoke of the 
 different kinds of willingness to die ; and represented 
 it as an ignoble, mean kind, to be willing to leave the 
 body only to get rid of pain ; or to go to heaven only 
 to get honor and advancement there. 
 
 Sept. 19. "Near night, while I attempted to walk a 
 little, my thoughts turned thus : ' How infinitely sweet 
 to love God, and be all for him '.' Upon which it was 
 suggested to me, ' You are not an angel, not lively and 
 active.' To which my whole soul immediately replied, 
 ' I as sincerely desire to love and glorify God as any 
 angel in heaven.' Upon which it was suggested again, 
 ' But you are filthy, not fit for heaven.' Hereupon in- 
 stantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ's righte- 
 ousness, in which I could not but exult and triumph ; 
 and I viewed the infinite excellency of God, and my 
 soul even broke with longings that God should be 
 glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven, but instantly 
 the thought returned, ' I do not go to heaven to get
 
 330 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [Chap. IX 
 
 honor, but to give all possible glory and praise.' O 
 how I longed that God should be glbrified on earth 
 also ! O I was made for eternity, if God might be 
 glorified ! Bodily pains I cared not for ; though I was 
 then in extremity, I never felt easier. I felt willing to 
 glorify God in that state of bodily distress as long as 
 he pleased I should continue in it. The grave appear- 
 ed really sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones 
 in it ; but O that God might be glorified ! this was the 
 burden of all my cry. O I knew that I should be ac- 
 tive as an angel in heaven, and that I should be strip- 
 ped of my filthy garments ! so that there was no ob- 
 jection. But, O to love and praise God more, to please 
 him for ever ! this my soul panted after, and even now 
 pants for, while I write. Oh that God might be glori- 
 fied in the whole earth ! ' Lord let thy kingdom come.' 
 I longed for a spirit of preaching to descend and rest 
 on ministers, that they might address the consciences 
 of men with closeness and power. I saw that God 
 had the residue of the Spirit, and my soul longed that 
 it should be ' poured from on high.' I could not but 
 plead with God for my dear congregation, that he 
 would preserve it, and not suffer his great name to lose 
 its glory in that work ; my soul still longing that God 
 might be glorified." 
 
 The extraordinary frame he was in that evening 
 could not be hid. u His mouth spake out of the abun- 
 dance of his heart," expressing in a very affecting man- 
 ner much the same things as are written in his diary. 
 Among very many other extraordinary expressions 
 which he then uttered, were such as these: "My 
 heaven is to please God, and glorify him, and to give all 
 to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory ; that is 
 the heaven I long for ; that is my religion, and that is
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 331 
 
 my happiness, and always was, ever since I suppose I 
 had any true religion ; and all those that are of that 
 religion shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to hea- 
 ven to be advanced, but to give honor to God. It is no 
 matter where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether I 
 have a high or low seat there ; but to love, and please, 
 and glorify God is all. Had I a thousand souls, if they 
 were worth any thing, I would give them all to God ; 
 but I have nothing to give when all is done. It is im- 
 possible for any rational creature to be happy without 
 acting all for God ; God himself could not make him 
 happy any other way. I long to be in heaven, prais- 
 ing and glorifying God with the holy angels ; all my 
 desire is to glorify God. My heart goes out to the bu- 
 rying place ; it seems to me a desirable place : but O to 
 glorify God ! that is it; that is above all. It is a great 
 comfort to me to think that I have done a little for God 
 in the world ; Oh ! it is but a very small matter, yet I 
 have done a little, and I lament that I have not done 
 more for him. There is nothing in the world worth 
 living for, but doing good, and finishing God's work, 
 doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else 
 in the world that can yield any satisfaction besides 
 living to God, pleasing him, and doing his whole 
 will. My greatest joy and comfort has been to do 
 something for promoting the interest of religion and 
 the souls of particular persons ; and now, in my ill- 
 ness, while I am full of pain and distress from day 
 to day, all the comfort I have is in being able to do 
 some little service for God, either by something I say, 
 or by writing, or in some other way." 
 
 He intermingled with these, and other like expres- 
 sions, many pathetical counsels to those who were 
 about him, particularly to my children and servants.
 
 332 LIFE OP BRAIHERD. [Cb&p. IX 
 
 He applied himself to some of my younger children 
 at this time ; calling them to him, and speaking to 
 them one by one ; setting before them, in a very plain 
 manner, the nature and essence of true piety, and its 
 great importance and necessity ; earnestly warning 
 them not to rest in any thing short of a true and 
 thorough change of heart, and a life devoted to God. 
 He counselled them not to be slack in the great busi- 
 ness of religion, nor in the least to delay it ; enforcing 
 his counsels with this, that his words were the words 
 of a dying man. Said he, " I shall die here, and here 
 I shall be buried, and here you will see my grave, and 
 I wish you to remember what I have said to you. I 
 am going into eternity ; and it is sweet for me to 
 think of eternity ; the endlessness of it makes it sweet : 
 but O what shall I say of the eternity of the wicked ! 
 I cannot mention it, nor think of it ; the thought is too 
 dreadful. When you see my grave, then remember 
 what I said to you while I was alive ; then think how 
 the man who lies in that grave counselled and warned 
 you to prepare for death." 
 
 His body seemed to be marvellously strengthened, 
 through the inward vigor and refreshment of his mind ; 
 so that, although before he was so weak that he could 
 hardly utter a sentence, yet now he continued his most 
 affecting and profitable discourse to us for more than 
 an hour, with scarce any intermission ; and said of it 
 when he had done, " it was the last sermon that ever 
 he should preach." This extraordinary frame of mind 
 continued the next day, of which he speaks in his 
 diary as follows : 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 20. " Was still in a sweet and 
 comfortable frame, and was again melted with desires
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 333 
 
 that. God might be glorified, and with longings to love 
 and live to him. Longed for the influences of the 
 divine Spirit to descend on ministers in an especial 
 manner. And O I longed to be with God, to behold 
 his glory, and to bow in his presence." 
 
 It appears by what is noted in his diary, both of this 
 day and the evening preceding, that his mind at this 
 time was much impressed with a sense of the impor- 
 tance of the work of the ministry, and the need of the 
 grace of God, and his special spiritual assistance m 
 this work ; it also appeared in what he expressed in 
 conversation, particularly in his discourse to his bro- 
 ther Israel, who was then a member of Yale College 
 at New-Haven, prosecuting his studies for the work of 
 the ministry.* He now, and from time to time, in this 
 his dying state, recommended to his brother a life of 
 self-denial, of weanedness from the world and devoted- 
 ness to God, and an earnest endeavor to obtain much 
 of the grace of God's Spirit, and God's gracious in- 
 fluences on his heart ; representing the great need in 
 which ministers stand of them, and the unspeakable 
 benefit of them, from his own experience. Among 
 many other expressions, he said thus: "When minis- 
 ters feel these special gracious influences on their 
 hearts, it wonderfully assists them to come at the con- 
 sciences of men, and as it were to handle them with 
 hands ; whereas, without them, whatever reason and 
 
 * This brother was ingenious, serious, studious, and hope- 
 fully pious ; there appeared in him many qualities giving hope 
 of his being a great blessing in his day. But it pleased God, 
 soon after the death of his brother, to take him away also. He 
 died that winter at New-Haven, January 6, 1748, of a nervous 
 fever, after about a fortnight's illness.
 
 334 LIFE OF BRAINERD. (.Chap. IX. 
 
 oratory we make use of, we do but make use of stumps, 
 instead of hands." 
 
 Sept. 21. " I began to correct a little volume of my 
 private writings. God, I believe, remarkably helped 
 me in it; my strength was surprisingly lengthened 
 out, my thoughts were quick and lively, and my soul 
 refreshed, hoping it might be a work for God. O how 
 good, how sweet it is to labor for God! 
 
 Sept. 22. " Was again employed in reading and 
 correcting, and had the same success as the day be- 
 fore. I was exceeding weak, but it seemed to refresh 
 my soul thus to spend time. 
 
 Sept, 23. "I finished my corrections of the little 
 piece before mentioned, and felt uncommonly peace- 
 ful ; it seemed as if I had now done all my work in 
 this world, and stood ready for my call to a better. 
 As long as I see any thing to be done for God, life is 
 worth having ; but O how vain and unworthy it is to 
 live for any lower end ! This day I indited- a letter, I 
 think, of great importance, to the Rev. Mr. Byram, in 
 New-Jersey. Oh that God would bless and succeed that 
 letter, which was written for the benefit of his church !* 
 Oh that God would 'purify the sons of Levi,' that his 
 glory may be advanced ! This night I endured a dread- 
 ful turn, wherein my life was expected scarce an hour 
 or minute. But, blessed be God, I have enjoyed con- 
 siderable sweetness in divine things this week, both by 
 night and day. 
 
 Sept. 24. " My strength began to fail exceedingly ; 
 which looked, further, as if I had done all my work : 
 
 *It was concerning the qualifications of ministers, and the 
 examination and licensing of candidates for the work of the 
 ministry.
 
 1747.1 AT NORTHAMPTON. 335 
 
 however, I had strength to fold and superscribe my 
 letter. About two I went to bed, being weak and much 
 disordered, and lay in a burning fever till night, with- 
 out any proper rest. In the evening I got up, having 
 lain down in some of my clothes ; but was in the great- 
 est distress, having an uncommon kind of hiccough 5 
 which either strangled me, or threw me into a strain- 
 ing to vomit, accompanied with other griping pains. 
 
 the distress of this evening ! I had little expectation 
 of living the night through, nor indeed had any about 
 me ; and I longed for the finishing moment ! I was 
 obliged to repair to bed by six o'clock ; and through 
 mercy enjoyed some rest ; but was grievously dis- 
 tressed at turns with the hiccough. My soul breathed 
 after God, ' When shall I come to God, even to God, 
 my exceeding joy ?' Oh for his blessed likeness ! 
 
 Sept. 25. " I was unspeakably weak, and little bet- 
 ter than speechless all the day ; however, I was able to 
 write a little, and some part of the day was comfort- 
 able. O it refreshed my soul to think of former things, 
 of desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to 
 him ! O, blessed God, I am speedily coming to thee, 
 
 1 hope. Hasten the day, O Lord, if it be thy blessed 
 will. O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen.| 
 
 Sept. 26. " I felt the sweetness of divine things this 
 forenoon, and had the consolation of a consciousness 
 that I was doing something for God. 
 
 Lord's day, Sept. 27. " This was a very comfortable 
 dasy to my soul ; I think, I awoke with God. I was en- 
 abled to lift up my soul to God, early this morning ; 
 
 t This was the last time that ever he wrote in his diary with 
 his own hand ; though it is continued a little farther, in a broken 
 manner; written by his brother Israel, but indited by his mouth, 
 in this his weak and dying state.
 
 330 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap, IX 
 
 and while I had little bodily strength, I found freedom 
 to lift up my heart to God for myself and others. Af- 
 terward, was pleased with the thoughts of speedily 
 entering into the unseen world." 
 
 He felt this morning an unusual appetite for food, 
 with which his mind seemed to be exhilarated, lookmo- 
 
 O 
 
 on it as a sign of the very near approach of death. At 
 this time he also said, " I was born on a Sabbath-<lay , 
 and I have reason to think I was new-born on a Sabbath- 
 day ; and I hope I shall die on this Sabbath-day. 1 
 Bhall look upon it as a favor, if it may be the will of 
 God that it should be so : I long for the time. O, why 
 is his chariot so long in coming ? why tarry the wheels 
 of his chariot ? I am very willing to part with all : I 
 am willing to part with my dear brother John, and 
 never to see him again, to go to be for ever with the 
 Lord.* O, when I go there, how will God's deai church 
 on earth be upon my mind !" 
 
 Afterward, the same morning, being asked how he 
 did, he answered, " I am almost in eternity ; I long to 
 be there. My work is done ; I have done with all my 
 friends : all the world is nothing to me. I long to be 
 in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy 
 angels. All my desire is to glorify God." 
 
 During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, 
 he seemed to continue in this frame of heart, as having 
 finished his work, and done with all things here below. 
 He had now nothing to do but to die, and to abide in an 
 
 * He had, before this, expressed a desire, if it might be the 
 will of God, to live till his brother returned from New-Jersey : 
 who, when he went away, intended, if possible, to perform his 
 journey, and return in a fortnight; hoping once more to meet 
 his brother in the land of the liviag. The fortnight was now 
 nearly expired.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 y ii
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 337 
 
 earnest desire and expectation of the happy moment, 
 when his soul should take its flight to a state of perfect 
 holiness, in which he should be found perfectly glori- 
 fying and enjoying God. He said, " the consideration 
 of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long 
 time been peculiarly sweet to him." From time to 
 Lime he spake of his being willing to leave the body 
 and the world immediately that day, that night, that 
 moment if it was the will of God. He also was much 
 engaged in expressing his longings that the Church of 
 Christ on earth might flourish, and Christ's kingdom 
 here be advanced, notwithstanding he was about to 
 leave the earth, and should not with his eyes behold 
 the desirable event, nor be instrumental in promoting 
 it. He said to me, one morning, as I came into his 
 room, " My thoughts have been employed on the old 
 dear theme, the prosperity of God's church on earth. 
 A.S I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pour- 
 ing out of God's Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's 
 kingdom, for which the Redeemer did and suffered so 
 much. It is that especially which makes me long for 
 it." He expressed much hope that a glorious advance- 
 ment of Christ's kingdom was near at hand. 
 
 He once told me, that "he had formerly longed for 
 the outpouring of the Spirit of God, and the glorious 
 times of the church, and hoped they were coming ; and 
 that he should have been willing to live to promote re- 
 ligion at that time if that had been the will of God : but," 
 says he, " I am willing it should be as it is ; I would not 
 have the choice to make for myself, for ten thousand 
 worlds." He expressed on his death-bed a full persua- 
 sion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the 
 church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ there 
 
 Brawerd. 22
 
 338 LIFE OF BRAINERD. Chap. IX 
 
 in ; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly 
 pleasing and satisfying to his mind. 
 
 He also still dwelt much on the great importance of 
 the work of gospel ministers, and expressed his long- 
 ings that they might be filed with the Spirit of God, 
 He manifested much desire to see some of the neigh- 
 boring ministers with whom he had some acquaint- 
 ance, and of whose sincere friendship he was confident, 
 that he might converse freely with them on that sub- 
 ject before he died. And it so happened, that he had 
 opportunity with some of them according to his desire. 
 
 Another thing that lay much on his heart from time 
 to time, in these near approaches of death, was the 
 spiritual prosperity of his own congregation of Chris- 
 tian Indians in New-Jersey ; when he spake of them, 
 it was with peculiar tenderness, so that his speech 
 would be presently interrupted and drowned with 
 tears. 
 
 He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposal 
 of Providence with regard to the circumstances of 
 his death ; particularly that God had before his death 
 given him an opportunity in Boston, with so many 
 considerable persons, ministers and others, to give in 
 his testimony for God against false religion, and many 
 mistakes that lead to it and promote it. He was much 
 pleased that he had had an opportunity there to lay 
 before pious and charitable gentlemen the state of the 
 Indians, and their necessities, to so good effect ; and that 
 God had since enabled him to write to them further 
 concerning these affairs ; and to write other letters of 
 importance, which he hoped might be of good influ- 
 ence with regard to the state of religion among the 
 Indians, and elsewhere, after his death. He expressed 
 great thankfulness to God for his mercy in these things
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 339 
 
 He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merciful 
 circumstance of his death, that he should die here. 
 Speaking of these things, he said, "God had granted 
 him all his desire;" and signified that now he could 
 joyfully leave the world. 
 
 Sept. 28. " I was able to read and make some few 
 corrections in my private writings, but found I could 
 not write as I had done ; I found myself sensibly de- 
 clined in all respects. It has been only from a little 
 while before noon till about one or two o'clock, that 1 
 have been able to do any thing for some time past; yet 
 it refreshed my heart that I could do any thing, either 
 public or private, that I hoped was for God." 
 
 This evening he was supposed to be dying, both by 
 himself and by those about him. He seemed glad at 
 the appearance of the near approach of death. He was 
 almost speechless, but his lips appeared to move, and 
 one that sat very near him heard him utter such ex- 
 pressions as these : " Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. 
 O why is his chariot so long in coming?" After he re- 
 vived, he blamed himself for having been too eager to 
 be gone. And in expressing what was the frame of his 
 mind at that time, he said he then found an inexpres- 
 sibly sweet love to those whom he looked upon as be- 
 longing to Christ, beyond almost all that ever he felt 
 before ; so that it seemed, to use his own words, "like 
 a little piece of heaven to have one of them near him." 
 And being asked whether heheard the prayer that was, 
 at his desire, made with him, he said, " Yes, he heard 
 every word, and had an uncommon sense of the things 
 that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word 
 reached his heart." 
 
 On the evening of Tuesday Sept. 29, as he lay on his 
 bed, he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame ; his
 
 338 UFE OF BRAINERD. Chap. IX 
 
 in ; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly 
 pleasing and satisfying to his mind. 
 
 He also still dwelt much on the great importance of 
 the work of gospel ministers, and expressed his long- 
 ings that they might be filled with the Spirit of God, 
 He manifested much desire to see some of the neigh- 
 boring ministers with whom he had some acquaint- 
 ance, and of whose sincere friendship he was confident, 
 that he might converse freely with them on that sub- 
 ject before he died. And it so happened, that he had 
 opportunity with some of them according to his desire. 
 
 Another thing that lay much on his heart from time 
 to time, in these near approaches of death, was the 
 spiritual prosperity of his own congregation of Chris- 
 tian Indians in New-Jersey ; when he spake of them, 
 it was with peculiar tenderness, so that his speech 
 would be presently interrupted and drowned with 
 tears. 
 
 He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposal 
 of Providence with regard to the circumstances of 
 his death ; particularly that God had before his death 
 given him an opportunity in Boston, with so many 
 considerable persons, ministers and others, to give in 
 his testimony for God against false religion, and many 
 mistakes that lead to it and promote it. He was much 
 pleased that he had had an opportunity there to lay 
 before pious and charitable gentlemen the state of the 
 Indians, and their necessities, to so good effect ; and that 
 Gfod had since enabled him to write to them further 
 concerning these affairs ; and to write other letters of 
 importance, which he hoped might be of good influ- 
 ence with regard to the state of religion among the 
 Indians, and elsewhere, after his death. He expressed 
 great thankfulness to God for his mercy in these things.
 
 1747.J AT NORTHAMPTON. 339 
 
 He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merciful 
 circumstance of his death, that he should die here. 
 Speaking of these things, he said, " God had granted 
 him all his desire;" and signified that now he could 
 joyfully leave the world. 
 
 Sept. 28. "I was able to read and make some few 
 corrections in my private writings, but found I could 
 not write as I had done ; I found myself sensibly de- 
 clined in all respects. It has been only from a little 
 while before noon till about one or two o'clock, that 1 
 have been able to do any thing for some time past ; yet 
 it refreshed my heart that I could do any thing, either 
 public or private, that I hoped was for God." 
 
 This evening he was supposed to be dying, both by 
 himself and by those about him. He seemed glad at 
 the appearance of the near approach of death. He was 
 almost speechless, but his lips appeared to move, and 
 one that sat very near him heard him utter such ex- 
 pressions as these: "Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. 
 O why is his chariot so long in coming?" After he re- 
 vived, he blamed himself for having been too eager to 
 be gone. And in expressing what was the frame of his 
 mind at that time, he said he then found an inexpres- 
 sibly sweet love to those whom he looked upon as be- 
 longing to Christ, beyond almost all that ever he felt 
 before ; so that it seemed, to use his own words, "like 
 a little piece of heaven to have one of them near him." 
 And being asked whether heheard the prayer that was, 
 at his desire, made with him, he said, " Yes, he heard 
 every word, and had an uncommon sense of the things 
 that were uttered in that prayer, and that, every word 
 reached his heart." 
 
 On the evening of Tuesday Sept. 29, as he lay on his 
 bed, he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame ; his
 
 342 LIFE OP BRAINERD. | Chap. IX. 
 
 manifested ; as having resigned all to God, and having 
 done with his friends, and with all things here below. 
 On the morning of the next day, being Lord's day, 
 Oct. 4, as my daughter Jerusha, who chiefly attended 
 him, came into the room, he looked on her very plea- 
 santly, and said, " Dear Jerusha, are you willing to part 
 with me?" "lam quite willing to part with you: I 
 am willing to part with all my friends : I am willing to 
 part with my dear brother John, although I love him 
 the best of any creature living: I have committed him 
 and all my friends to God, and can leave them with 
 God. Though, if I thought I should not see you, and 
 be happy with you in another world, I could not bear 
 to part with you. But we shall spend an happy eter- 
 nity together !"* In the evening, as one came into the 
 room with a Bible in her hand, he expressed himself 
 thus: "O that dear book that lovely book! I shall 
 soon see it opened ! The mysteries that are in it, and 
 
 * In about four months, it pleased a holy and sovereign God 
 to take away this my dear child by death, on the 14th of Feb- 
 ruary, after a short illness of five days, in the eighteenth year 
 of her age. She was a person of much the same spirit with 
 BRAINERD. She had constantly taken care of, and attended 
 him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death; devo- 
 ting herself to him with great delight, because she looked on 
 him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In this time he 
 had much conversation with her on the things of religion; and 
 in his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great 
 satisfaction concerning her true piety, and his confidence that 
 he should meet her in heaven. She had manifested a heart un- 
 commonly devoted to God; and said on her denth-bed, that 
 " she had seen no time for several years, when she desired to 
 live one minute longer, for the sake of any other good in life, 
 but doing good, living to God, and doing what might be for his 
 glory."
 
 1747.] AT NORTHAMPTON. 343 
 
 the mysteries of God's providence, will be all un- 
 folded !" 
 
 On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay for a considerable time 
 as if he were dying ; at which time he was heard to 
 utter, in broken whispers, such expressions as these : 
 " He will come, he will not tarry. I shall soon be in 
 glory. I shall soon glorify God with the angels." But 
 after some time he revived. 
 
 The next day, Wednesday, Oct. 7, his brother John 
 arrived from New- Jersey ; where he had been detained 
 much longer than he intended, by a mortal sickness 
 prevailing among the Christian Indians, and by some 
 other circumstances that made his stay with them ne- 
 cessary. BRAINERD was affected and refreshed with 
 seeing him, and appeared fully satisfied with the rea- 
 sons of his delay ; seeing the interest of religion and 
 the souls of his people required it. 
 
 The next day, Thursday, Oct. 8, he was in great dis- 
 tress and agonies of body ; and for the greater part of 
 the day was much disordered as to the exercise of his 
 reason. In the evening he was composed, and had 
 the use of his reason ; but the pain of his body con- 
 tinued and increased. He told me that it was impos- 
 sible for any one to conceive of the distress he felt in 
 his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should 
 dishonor God by impatience under his extreme agony; 
 which was such, that he said the thought of enduring 
 it one moment longer was almost insupportable. He 
 desired that others would be much in lifting up their 
 hearts continually to God for him, that God would sup- 
 port him, and give him patience. He signified that he 
 expected to die that night ; birt seemed to fear a longer 
 delay ; and the disposition of his mind with regard to 
 death, appeared still the same that it had been all along.
 
 344 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [ Chap. X. 
 
 And notwithstanding his bodily agonies, yet the inte- 
 rest of Zion lay still with great weight on his mind. 
 On that evening he had considerable discourse with 
 the Rev. Mr. Billing, one of the neighboring ministers, 
 concerning the great importance of the work of the 
 ministry. Afterward, late in the night, he had much 
 very proper and profitable discourse with his brother 
 John, concerning his congregation in New-Jersey, and 
 the interest of religion among the Indians. In the 
 latter part of the night his bodily distress seemed to 
 rise to a greater height than ever. Toward day his 
 eyes became fixed ; and he continued lying immova- 
 ble till about six o'clock on Friday, Oct. 9, 1747, when 
 his soul, as we may well conclude, was received by his 
 dear Lord and Master into that state of perfection of 
 holiness, and fruition of God, for which he had so often 
 and so ardently longed; and was welcomed by the glo- 
 rious assembly in the upper world, as one peculiarly 
 fitted to join them in their blessed employ and enjoy- 
 ment. 
 
 Much respect was shown to his memory at his fune- 
 ral; which was on the Monday following, after a ser- 
 mon preached on that solemn occasion. His funeral 
 was attended by eight of the neighboring ministers, 
 and a great concourse of people. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Reflections on the preceding Memoirs. 
 
 REFLECTION I. 
 
 In the life of BRAINERD we may see, as I apprehend. 
 the nature of true religion, and the manner of its ope
 
 Chap. X.] REFLECTIONS. 345 
 
 ration, when exemplified in a high degree and in pow- 
 erful exercise. Particularly it may be worthy to be 
 observed : 
 
 1. How greatly BRAINERD'S religion differed from 
 that of some pretenders to the experience of a clear 
 work of saving conversion wrought on their hearts ; 
 who, depending and living on that, settle in a cold, 
 careless, and carnal frame of mind, and in a neglect-of 
 a thorough, earnest religion, in the stated practice of 
 it. Although his convictions and conversion were in 
 all respects exceedingly clear, and very remarkable ; 
 yet how far was he from acting as though he thought 
 he had got through his work, when once he had ob- 
 tained comfort, and satisfaction of his interest in Christ 
 and a title to heaven ! On the contrary, that work 
 on his heart, by which he was brought to this, was 
 with him evidently but the beginning of his work; his 
 first entering on the great business of religion, and the 
 service of God ; his first setting out in his race. His 
 work was not finished, nor his race ended, till life was 
 ended. 
 
 As his conversion was not the end of his work, or 
 of the course of his diligence and strivings in religion, 
 so neither was it the end of the work of the Spirit of 
 God on his heart. On the contrary, it was the first 
 dawning of the light,- which thenceforth increased more 
 and more ; the beginning of his holy affections, his 
 sorrow for sin, his love to God, his rejoicing in Jesus 
 Christ, his longing after holiness. There are many, 
 who, after the effect of novelty is over, soon find their 
 situation and feelings very much the same as before 
 their supposed conversion, with respect to any pre- 
 sent thirstings for God, or ardent out-goings of their 
 souls after divine objects. Now and then, indeed, they
 
 346 LIFE OP BRAINERD. [ Chap. X 
 
 have a comfortable reflection on the past, and arc 
 somewhat affected with the remembrance, and so rest 
 easy, thinking that it is safe ; and they doubt not but 
 they shall go to heaven when they die. Far otherwise 
 was it with BRAINERD. His experiences, instead of 
 dying away, were evidently of an increasing nature. 
 His first love, and other holy affections, even at the 
 beginning, were very great ; but, after the lapse of 
 months and years, became much greater and more 
 remarkable. 
 
 2. His religion apparently and greatly differed from 
 that of many high pretenders to religion, who are fre- 
 quently actuated by vehement emotions of mind, and 
 are carried on in a course of sudden and strong- im- 
 pressions, and supposed high illuminations and imme- 
 diate discoveries ; and at the same time are persons of 
 a virulent " zeal, not according to knowledge." If we 
 look through the whole series of his experience, from 
 his conversion to his death, we shall find none of this 
 kind no imaginary sight of Christ hanging on the 
 cross with his blood streaming from his wounds; or 
 with a countenance smiling on him; or arms open tc 
 embrace him : no sight of the book of life opened, with 
 his name written in it; no hearing God or Christ speak- 
 ing to him; nor any sudden suggestions of words or 
 sentences, either of Scripture or any other, as then im- 
 mediately spoken or sent to him ; no new revelations ; 
 no sudden strong suggestions of secret facts. Nor do 
 I find any one instance in all the records which he has 
 left of his own life, from beginning to end, of joy ex 
 cited from a supposed immediate witness of the Spirit; 
 or inward immediate suggestion, that his state was 
 surely good. But the way in which he was satisfied of 
 his own good estate, even to the entire abolishing of
 
 Chap. X.J REFLECTIONS. 347 
 
 fear, was by feeling within himself the lively actings 
 of a holy temper and heavenly disposition, the vigorous 
 exercises of that divine "love which casteth out fear." 
 
 3. BRAINERD'S religion was not selfish and mercena- 
 ry; his love to God was primarily and principally for 
 the supreme excellency of his own nature, and not 
 built on a preconceived notion that God loved him, 
 had received him into favor, and had done great things 
 for him, or promised great things to him. His joy was 
 joy in God, and not in himself. We see by his diary 
 how, from time to time, through the course of his life, 
 his soul was filled with ineffable sweetness and com- 
 fort. The affecting considerations and lively ideas of 
 God's infinite glory, his unchangeable blessedness, his 
 sovereignty and universal dominion ; together with the 
 sweet exercises of love to God, giving himself up to 
 him, abasing himself before him, denying himself for 
 him, depending upon him, acting for his glory, diligent- 
 ly serving him ; and the pleasing prospects or hopes he 
 had of the future advancement of the kingdom of Christ, 
 were the grounds of his strong and abiding consolation. 
 
 It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from his 
 conversion to his death, that the sort of good which 
 was the great object of the new relish and appetite 
 given him in conversion, and thenceforward main- 
 tained and increased in his heart, was HOLINESS, con- 
 formity to God, living to God, and glorifying him. 
 This was what drew his heart ; this was the centre of 
 his soul ; this was the ocean to which all the streams 
 of his religious affections tended; this was the object 
 which engaged his eager thirsting desires and earnest 
 pursuits. He knew no true excellency or happiness 
 but this; this was what he longed for most vehemently 
 and constantly on earth; and this was with him the
 
 348 LIFE OF BRAINERD. [Chap. X. 
 
 beauty and blessedness of heaven. This made him so 
 much and so often long for that world of glory. It 
 was to be perfectly holy, and perfectly exercised in 
 the holy employments of heaven ; and thus " to glorify 
 God and enjoy him for ever." 
 
 His religious illuminations, affections, and comfort, 
 seemed, to a great degree, to be attended with evange- 
 lical humiliation; consisting in a sense of his own 
 utter insufficiency, despicableness, and odiousness; 
 with an answerable disposition and frame of heart. 
 How deeply affected was he almost continually with 
 his great defects in religion ; with his vast distance 
 from that spirituality and holy frame of mind that be- 
 came him ; with his ignorance, pride, deadness, unstea- 
 diness, barrenness ! He was not only affected with the 
 remembrance of his former sinfulness before his con- 
 version, but with the sense of his present vileness and 
 pollution. He was not only disposed to think meanly 
 of himself as before God, and in comparison of him; 
 but among men, and as compared with them. He was 
 apt to think other saints better than himself; yea, to 
 look on himself as the meanest and least of saints; 
 yea, very often, as the vilest and worst of mankind. 
 And notwithstanding his great attainments in spiritual 
 knowledge, yet we find there is scarcely any thing, 
 with a sense of which he is more frequently affected 
 and abased, than his ignorance. 
 
 How eminently did he appear to be of a meek and 
 quiet spirit, resembling the lamb-like, dove-like spirit 
 of Jesus Christ ! How full of love, meekness, quiet- 
 ness, forgiveness, and mercy ! His love was not merely 
 a fondness and zeal for a party, but an universal bene- 
 volence; very often exercised in the most sensible and 
 ardent love to his greatest opposers and enemies.
 
 Chap. X.J REFLECTIONS. 349 
 
 Of how soft and tender a spirit was he ! How far 
 were his experiences, hopes, and joys, from a tendency 
 finally to stupify and harden him, to lessen convictions 
 and tenderness of conscience, to cause him to be less 
 affected with present and past sins, and less conscien- 
 tious with respect to future sins ! How far were they 
 from making him more easy in neglect of duties which 
 are troublesome and inconvenient, more slow and par- 
 tial in complying with difficult commands, less apt to 
 be alarmed at the appearance of his own defects and 
 transgressions, more easily induced to a compliance 
 with carnal appetites ! On the contrary, how tender 
 was his conscience ! how apt was his heart to smite 
 him ! how easily and greatly was he alarmed at the 
 appearance of moral evil ! how great and constant was 
 his jealousy over his own heart ! how strict his care 
 and watchfulness against sin ! how deep and sensible 
 were the wounds that sin made in his conscience ! 
 Those evils which are generally accounted small, were 
 almost an insupportable burden to him; such as his 
 inward deficiencies, his having no more love to God, 
 finding within himself any slackness or dullness in re- 
 ligion, any unsteadiness or wandering frame of mind. 
 How did the consideration of such things as these op- 
 press and abase him, and fill him with inward shame 
 and confusion ! His love and hope, though they were 
 such as cast out a servile fear of hell, yet were attended 
 with, and abundantly cherished and promoted a reve- 
 rential filial fear of God, a dread of sin and of God's 
 holy displeasure. His joy seemed truly to be a rejoi- 
 cing with trembling. His assurance and comfort dif- 
 fered greatly from a false enthusiastic confidence and 
 joy. in that it promoted and maintained mourning for 
 sin. He did not, after he received comfort and full sa-
 
 350 LIFE OP BRAINERD. (.Chap. X. 
 
 tisfaction of the safety of his state, forget his past sins, 
 whether committed before or after his conversion; but 
 the remembrance of them, from time to time, revived 
 in his heart with renewed grief. That passage was 
 evidently fulfilled in him, " That thou mayest remem- 
 ber, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any 
 more, because of thy shame ; when I am pacified to- 
 ward thee for all that thou hast done." Ezek. 16 : 63. 
 
 His religious affections and joys were not like those 
 of some, who have rapture and mighty emotions from 
 time to time in company; but have very little affec- 
 tion in retirement and secret places. Though he was 
 of a very sociable temper, and loved the company ot 
 saints, and delighted very much in religious conversa- 
 tion, and in social worship ; yet his warmest affections, 
 and their greatest effects on his animal nature, and his 
 sweetest joys, were in his closet devotions, and solitary 
 transactions between God and his own soul : as is very 
 observable through his whole course, from his conver- 
 sion to his death. He delighted greatly in sacred re- 
 tirements; and loved to get quite away from all the 
 world, to converse with God alone, in secret duties. 
 
 BRAINERD'S experiences and comforts were very far 
 from being like those of some persons, which are at- 
 tended with a spiritual satiety, and. which put an end 
 to their religious desires and longings, at least to the 
 edge and ardency of them; resting satisfied in their 
 own attainments and comforts, as having obtained 
 their chief end, which is to extinguish their fears of 
 hell, and give them confidence of the favor of God. 
 On the contrary, they were always attended with long- 
 ings and thirstings after greater degrees of conformity 
 to God ! The greater and sweeter his comforts were, 
 the more vehement were his desires after holiness.
 
 Chap. X.J REFLECTIONS. 351 
 
 His longings were not so much after joyful discoveries 
 of God's love, and clear views of his own tide to future 
 advancement and eternal honors in heaven ; as after 
 more of present holiness, greater spirituality, an heart 
 more engaged for God, to love, and exalt, and depend 
 on him. He earnestly wished to serve God better, to 
 do more for his glory, to do all that he did with more 
 of a regard to Christ as his righteousness and strength, 
 and to behold the enlargement and advancement of his 
 kingdom on earth. His desires were not idle wishes, 
 but such as were powerful and effectual, to animate 
 him to the earnest, eager pursuit of these things, with 
 the utmost diligence and unfainting labor and self- 
 denial. His comforts never put an end to his seeking 
 after God, and striving to obtain his grace; but, on the 
 contrary, greatly engaged him therein. 
 
 4. His religion did not consist in experience without 
 practice. All his inward illuminations, affections, and 
 comforts, seemed to have a direct tendency to practice, 
 and to issue in it : and this, not merely a practice ne- 
 gatively good, free from gross acts of irreligion and 
 immorality; but a practice positively holy and Chris- 
 tian, in a serious, devout, humble, meek, merciful, 
 charitable, and beneficent conversation ; making the 
 service of God and our Lord Jesus Christ the great 
 business of life, to which he was devoted, and which 
 he pursued with the greatest earnestness and diligence 
 to the end of his days, through all trials. In him was 
 to be seen the right way of being lively in religion. 
 His liveliness in religion did not consist merely, or 
 mainly, in his being lively with the tongue, but in deed; 
 not in being forward in profession and outward show, 
 and abundant in declaring his own experiences; but 
 chiefly in being active and abundant in the labors and
 
 352 LIFE OP BRAINERD. | Chap. X 
 
 duties of religion ; " not slothful in business, but fer- 
 vent in spirit, serving the Lord, and serving his gene- 
 ration, according to the will of God." 
 
 REFLECTION II. 
 
 The foregoing account of BRAINERD'S life may con- 
 vince us, that there is indeed such a thing as true ex- 
 perimental religion, arising from an immediate divine 
 influence, supernaturally enlightening and convincing 
 the mind, and powerfully impressing, quickening, sanc- 
 tifying, and governing the heart. 
 
 If any insist that BRAINERD'S religion was mere en- 
 thusiasm '., the result of a heated imagination, I would 
 ask, What were the FRUITS of his enthusiasm 1 In him 
 we behold a great degree of honesty and simplicity ; 
 sincere and earnest desires and endeavors to know and 
 do whatever is right, and to avoid every thing that is 
 wrong ; a high degree of love to God ; delight in the 
 perfections of his nature, placing the happiness of life 
 in him, not only in contemplating him, but in being 
 active in pleasing and serving hfm; a firm and undoubt- 
 ing belief in the Messiah, as the Savior of the world, 
 the great Prophet of God, and King of the church, to- 
 gether with great love to him, delight and complacence 
 in the way of salvation by him, and longing for the en- 
 largement of his kingdom ; earnest desires that God 
 may be glorified and the Messiah's kingdom advancedj 
 whatever instruments are employed ; uncommon resig- 
 nation to the will of God, and that under vast trials ; 
 and great and universal benevolence to mankind, reach- 
 ing all sorts of persons without distinction, manifested 
 in sweetness of speech and behavior, kind treatment, 
 mercy, liberality, and earnestly seeking the good of the
 
 Ohap. X.J REFLECTIONS. 353 
 
 souls and bodies of men. All this we behold attended 
 with extraordinary humility, meekness, forgiveness 
 of injuries, and love to enemies. In him we see a 
 modest, discreet, and decent deportment, among supe- 
 riors, inferiors, and equals; a most diligent improve- 
 ment of time; earnest care to lose no part of it; and 
 great watchfulness against all sorts of sin, of heart, 
 speech, and action. This example and these endea- 
 rors we see attended with most happy fruits, and 
 blessed effects on others, in humanizing, civilizing, and 
 wonderfully reforming and transforming some of the 
 most brutish savages ; idle, immoral drunkards, mur- 
 derers, gross idolaters, and wizards; bringing them to 
 permanent sobriety, diligence, devotion, honesty, con- 
 scientiousness, and charity. The foregoing virtues and 
 successful labors all end at last in a marvellous peace, 
 immovable stability, calmness, and resignation, in the 
 sensible approaches of death; with longing for the 
 heavenly state ; not only for the honors and circum- 
 stantial advantages of it, but above all, for the moral 
 perfection and holy and blessed employments of it. 
 These things are seen in a person indisputably of good 
 understanding and judgment. I therefore say, if all 
 these things are the fruits of enthusiasm, why should 
 not enthusiasm be thought a desirable and excellent 
 thing? For what can true religion, what can the best 
 philosophy, do more? 
 
 REFLECTION III. 
 
 The preceding history serves to confirm the doctrines 
 of grace. For if it be allowed that there is truth, sub- 
 stance, or value in the main of BRAINERD'S religion, it 
 will undoubtedly follow, that those doctrines are di- 
 
 Brainerd. og
 
 354 LIFE OF BRAINKRD. [Chap. X 
 
 vine; since it is evident that the whole of it, from begin- 
 ning to end, accords with them. He was brought, by 
 doctrines of this kind, to his awakening and deep con- 
 cern about things of a spiritual and eternal nature ; by 
 these doctrines his convictions were maintained and 
 carried on ; and his conversion was evidently altoge- 
 ther agreeable to them. His conversion was no con- 
 firming and perfecting of moral principles and habits, 
 by use, and practice, and industrious discipline, toge- 
 ther with the concurring suggestions and conspiring 
 aids of God's Spirit; but entirely a supernatural work, 
 at once turning him from darkness to marvellous light, 
 and from the power of sin to the dominion of divine 
 and holy principles. It was an effect, in no respect 
 produced by his strength or labor, or obtained by his 
 virtue; and not accomplished till he was first brought 
 to a full conviction, that all his own virtue, strength, 
 labors and endeavors, could never avail any thing to- 
 ward producing or procuring this effect. 
 
 If ever BRAINERD was truly turned from sin to God 
 at all, or ever became truly religious, none can reason- 
 ably doubt but that his conversion was at the time 
 when he supposed it to be. The change which he then 
 met with, was evidently the greatest moral change 
 that he ever experienced; and he was then apparently 
 first brought to that kind of religion, that remarkable 
 new habit and temper of mind, which he held all his 
 life after. The narration shows it to be different, in 
 nature and kind, from all of which he was ever the 
 subject before. It was evidently wrought at once 
 without fitting and preparing his mind, by gradually 
 convincing it more and more of the same truths, and 
 bringing it nearer and nearer to such a temper: it was 
 soon after his mind had been remarkably full of bias-
 
 Chap. X.j REFLECTIONS. 355 
 
 phem)', and a vehement exercise of sensible enmity 
 against God, and great opposition to those truths which 
 he was now brought with his whole soul to embrace, 
 and rest in as divine and glorious; truths, in the con- 
 templation and improvement of which he placed his 
 happiness. He himself, who was surely best able to 
 judge, declares, that the dispositions and affections 
 which were then given him, and thenceforward main- 
 tained in him, were, most sensibly and certainly, alto- 
 gether different in their nature from all of which he 
 was ever the subject before, or of which he ever had 
 any conception. 
 
 Hence it is very evident that BKAINERD'S religion was 
 the effect of the doctrines of grace applied to his heart: 
 and certainly it cannot be denied that the effect was 
 good, unless we turn atheists or deists. I would ask 
 whether there be any such thing, in reality, as Chris- 
 tian devotion? If there be, what is if? what is its na- 
 ture? and what its just measure? Should it not be in 
 a great degree ? We read abundantly in Scripture of 
 " loving God with all the heart, with all the soul, with 
 all the mind, and with all the strength; of delighting 
 in God, of rejoicing in the Lord, rejoicing with joy un- 
 speakable and full of glory; the soul magnifying the 
 Lord, thirsting for God, hungering and thirsting after 
 righteousness; the soul breaking for the longing it 
 hath to God's judgments, praying to God with groan- 
 ings that cannot be uttered, mourning for sin with a 
 broken heart and contrite spirit," &c. How full are 
 the Psalms, and other parts of Scripture, of such tljings 
 as these ! Now wherein do these things, as expressed 
 by and appearing in BRAINERD, either the things them- 
 selves, or their effects and fruits, differ from the Scrip- 
 ture representations? To these things he was brought
 
 356 LIFE OF BKA1NEHD. [Chap. X. 
 
 by that strange and wonderful transformation of the 
 man, which he calted his conversion. Does not this 
 well agree with what is so often said in the Old Tes- 
 tament and the New, concerning " giving a new heart 
 creating a right spirit, being renewed in the spirit of 
 the mind, being sanctified throughout, becoming a new 
 creature ?" 
 
 REFLECTION IV. 
 
 Is there not much in the preceding memoirs of 
 BRAINERD to teach, and excite to duty, us who are 
 called to the work of the ministry, and all who are can- f 
 didates for that great work? What a deep sense did 
 he seem to have of the greatness and importance of 
 that work, and with what weight did it lie on his mind ! 
 How sensible was he of his own insufficiency for this 
 work; and how great was his dependence on God's 
 sufficiency! How solicitous that he might be fitted for 
 it ! and to this end, how much time did he spend in 
 prayer and fasting, as well as reading and meditation; 
 giving himself to these things! How did he dedicate 
 his whole life, all his powers and talents to God ; and 
 forsake and renounce the world, with all its pleasing 
 and ensnaring enjoyments, that he might be wholly at 
 liberty to serve Christ in this work, and to " please 
 him who had chosen him to be a soldier under the 
 Captain of our salvation !" With whW solicitude, so- 
 lemnity and diligence did he devote himself to God 
 our Savior, and seek his presence arid blessing in se- 
 cret, at the time of his ordination ! and how did his 
 whole heart appear to be constantly engaged, his whole 
 time employed, and his whole strength spent in the 
 business he then solemnly undertook, and to which he 
 was publicly set apart! His history shows us the right
 
 Chap. X.J KBFLECTfONS. 357 
 
 way to success in the work of the ministry. He sought 
 it, as a resolute soldier seeks victory in a siege or bat- 
 tle ; or as a man who runs a race, seeks a great prize. 
 Animated with love to Christ and the souls of men, 
 how did he " labor always fervently," not only in word 
 and doctrine, in public and private, but in prayers day 
 and night, " wrestling with God" in secret, and "tra- 
 vailing in birth," with unutterable groans and agonies, 
 " until Christ were formed " in the hearts of the people 
 to whom he was sent ! How did he thirst for a bless- 
 ing on his ministry, and " watch for souls, as one that 
 must give account !" How did he " go forth in the 
 strength of the Lord God," seeking and depending on 
 a special influence of the Spirit to assist and succeed 
 him ! What was the happy fruit at last, though after 
 long waiting, and many dark and discouraging appear- 
 ances? Like a true son of Jacob, he persevered in 
 wrestling, through all the darkness of the night, until 
 the breaking of the day. 
 
 To Missionaries in particular, may his example of 
 laboring, praying, denying himself, and enduring hard- 
 ness with unfainting resolution and patience, and his 
 faithful, vigilant, and prudent conduct in many other 
 respects, afford instruction. 
 
 REFLECTION V. 
 
 The foregoing account of BRAINERD'S life may afford 
 instruction to Christians in general; as it shows, in 
 many respects, the right way of practising- religion, in 
 order to obtain the ends, and receive the benefits of it ; 
 or how Christians should " run the race set before 
 Ihem," if they would not " run in vain, or run as un- 
 certainly," but would honor God in the world, adorn
 
 358 LIFE OF BKAINEHD. [Chap. X. 
 
 their profession, be serviceable to mankind, have the 
 comforts of religion while they live, be free from dis- 
 quieting doubts and dark apprehensions about the 
 state of their souls, enjoy peace in the approaches of 
 death, and " finish their course with joy." In general, 
 he much recommended, for this purpose, the redemp- 
 tion of time, great diligence in the business of the 
 Christian life, watchfulness, &c. and he very remarka- 
 bly exemplified these things. 
 
 Particularly, his example and success with regard to 
 one duty, in an especial manner, may be of great use 
 to both ministers and private Christians ; I mean the 
 duty of secret fasting. The reader has seen how 
 much BRAINERD recommends this duty, and how fre- 
 quently he exercised himself in it ; nor can it well 
 have escaped observation, how much he was owned 
 and blessed in it, and of what great benefit it evidently 
 was to his soul. Among all the many days he spent 
 in secret fasting and prayer, of which he gives an ac- 
 count in his diary, there is scarcely an instance of one 
 which was not either attended or soon followed with 
 apparent success, and a remarkable blessing, in special 
 influences and consolations of God's Spirit ; and very 
 often before the day was ended. But it must be ob- 
 served, that when he set about this duty, he did it in 
 good earnest ; " stirring up himself to take hold of 
 God," and " continuing instant in prayer," with much 
 of the spirit of Jacob, who said to the angel, " I will 
 not let thee go, except thou bless me." 
 
 REFLECTION VI. 
 
 There is much in the preceding account to excite 
 and encourage God's people to earnest prayers aivJ
 
 Chap. X.J REFLECTIONS. 359 
 
 endeavors for the advancement and enlargement of the 
 kingdom of Christ in the world. BRAINERD set us an 
 excellent example in this respect. He sought the pros- 
 perity of Zion with all his might ; and preferred Jeru- 
 salem above his chief joy. How did his soul long for 
 it, and pant after it ! how earnestly and often did he 
 wrestle with God for it ! and how far did he in these 
 desires and prayers seem to be carried beyond all pri- 
 vate and selfish views ! being animated by a pure love 
 to Christ, an earnest desire of his glory, and a disinte- 
 rested affection to the souls of mankind. 
 
 The consideration of this, not only ought to be an 
 incitement to the people of God, but may also be a just 
 encouragement to them, to be much in seeking and 
 praying for a general outpouring of the Spirit of God, 
 and an extensive revival of religion. I confess, that 
 God's giving so much of a spirit of prayer for this 
 mercy to so eminent a servant of his, and exciting 
 him in so extraordinary a manner, and with such ve- 
 hement thirstings of soul, to agonize in prayer for it, 
 from time to time, through the course of his life, is 
 one thing, among others, which gives me great hope 
 that God has a design of accomplishing something very 
 glorious for the interest of his church before long. One 
 such instance as this, I conceive, gives more encou- 
 ragement than the common, cold, formal prayers of 
 thousands. As BRAINERD'S desires and prayers for the 
 coming of Christ's kingdom were very special and ex- 
 it aordinary ; so I think we may reasonably hope, that 
 the God who excited those desires and prayers, will 
 answer them with something special and extraordi- 
 nary. And in a particular manner do I think it wor- 
 thy of notice for our encouragement, that he had his 
 heart unusually drawn out in longings and prayers for
 
 & LII E UK BKAINEKU. 
 
 the flourishing of Christ's kingdom on earth when he 
 was in the approaches of death; and that with his dy- 
 ing breath ho breathed out his departing soul into the 
 bosom of nis Redeemer, in prayers and pantings after 
 the glorious event; expiring in very great hope thai 
 it would soon begin to be fulfilled. 
 
 I would not conclude these reflections witnout a 
 grateful acknowledgment of the mercy of God in vhe 
 circumstances of BHAINERD'S death, and especially the 
 gracious dispensation of Providence to me and my 
 family, in so ordering that he, though the ordinary 
 place of his abode was more than two hundred miles 
 distant, should be brought to my house in his last sick- 
 ness, and should die here. Thus we had opportunity 
 for much acquaintance and conversation with him, to 
 show him kindness in such circumstances, to see his 
 dying behavior, to hear his dying speeches, to receive 
 his dying counsels, and to have the benefit of his dying 
 prayers. May God in infinite mercy grant, that we 
 may ever retain a proper remembrance of these things, 
 and make a due improvement of the advantages we 
 have had in these respects ! The Lord grant also, that 
 the foregoing account of BRAINERD'S life and death may 
 be for the great spiritual benefit of all who shall read it, 
 and prove a happy means of promoting the revival of 
 true religion ! Amen. 
 
 Perpnr.uurd li\ Hie Uouatiiuia of Messrs. George Douglass, Charles Sirr 
 ml Will.am A. Hullock, of Njw-York.
 
 UC SOUTHERN I REGION, 
 
 000 91 9725 2