CO PR\CE S\.2S PINK MARSH FINK PINK MARSH > " A Story of the Streets and Town BY GEORGE ADE AUTHOR OF "ARTIE PICTURES BY JOHN T. McCUTCHEON HERBERT S. STONE tf CO. CHICAGO & NEW YORK 1897 COPYRIGHT, 1897, BY HERBERT S. STONE & CO THIS STORY IS REWRITTEN FROM A SERIES OF SKETCHES WHICH FIRST APPEARED IN THE CHICAGO RECORD On Spending a Million Dollars He happened ir{t -;be place one after noon in the late autumn. ^ They met by chance the usua.l way. I he hz-.d shaved himself that morning, as he should have done, he never would have met Pink. Perhaps Fate issued a sub-decree. That afternoon as he moved through the weaving crowd toward the corner where his trolley-car stopped for him, he felt of his face and found it stubbled. The shop opened invitingly at the bottom of a white stairway. Most of the barber-shops in Chicago are underground. He de scended to the shop and sat in the first chair. When he had been tilted back he closed his eyes so as to keep away the horrors of a ceiling-design. The conver- 912766 PINK MARSH sation, which had ceased when he entered, was then taken up again. " I know, but s pose you did find a million dollars. Would n t you keep it?" " That depends." ".Don ask me, Misteh Adams. I woul(fn* /keep \io jnjilftdnidollahs faw min ute, -would. I ? ..TThey cfhaye to chlo fohm me** to* get -at. mdnip.y f^ay. f/om me." " Yes, but then if you give it back to the man that owned it he might give you as much as twenty thousand dollars." " Who would ? My goodness, misteh white man bahbeh, people don get no million dollahs nowadays by givin way money. No, seh! Huh-uh! It s bout fo to one at any man s got as much as million dollahs ain t goin o open up. Chances is he d give you bout fo dol lahs." " Yes, but what good would this money do you? If you went to throwin a million dollars around do n t you s pose the police 2 PINK MARSH d be onto you? They d be lookin for the man that found the money." u You could n t have that money ten minutes without flashin it." u Look heah, I fool you. Do you reckon I d spend at money right away ? No, seh! I d wait bout six months an en I d jus begin lettin go little at time. I d pull big, elegant hundehd out o my cloze an some one say, Boy, wheah you get at green stuff? I say I win it on e faw- eign book. I d p ten to be gamblin , un e stand ? I d go to New Yawk o some othah place an bring roll back an tell em I win it." " What are you givin us? As soon as you got hold of that stuff you d go down and buy all the blue clothes on Clark street." " Then he d get gay an tell that Twenty-fourth Street girl all about it an she d tell somebody else an they d have him in the booby-hatch in about two hours." 3 PINK MARSH At this there was general laughter, and the one who had been consigned to the " booby-hatch" laughed hoarsely after the others had quieted. " No, seh; I guess I wouldn betteh stay roun iss town," he said. " I get me one of em p ivate Pullman cahs an go travelin roun e country. I wouldn do thing bout fo cullud boys to wait on me. Heah, boy, open notheh box of em cigahs an put two mo bottles on ice. My goodness! Get into new town, wave my han" jus like at up come caih age. Get in, you know, drive roun mos p omirient thuhfaihs " " What s that last word ? " " He do n t know. He heard somebody out on Armour Avenue say that." " I d be strong ith em cullud guhls too. My goodness, Miss Ruth, who s at new gemman ith all em di mon s an rubies. Yes, seh, I d have em settin PINK MARSH traps faw me! Could n t keep em away nohow." u I guess you ve had some trouble al ready keepin away that one you owe the laundry bill to." " Hush! man! " and he laughed again. The barber at work had to poise his razor until he could control, himself, while the man in the chair smiled through the lather. " Le me tell you I d pay at woman what I owe uh an give huh hundehd dollah bill, an en I d neveh speak to huh agen. She eveh come up to me I say, 1 Woman, I can t place you ; go back to yo* own kind o people. " O, you d get proud, would you ? I do n t s pose you d speak to any of us, would you." " I might membah seein* you some- wheahs, but I sutny wouldn know you ve y well. I d be too busy countin* money to fool my time on bahbehs. C ose PINK MARSH I d let you have dollah o two, but you would n see me minglin ith pooh men. You want to see me, you send in yo cahd by at cullud boy, an I look it oveh an* say, c Adams? Adams? Seems to me I see at name somewheahs. Tell im to wipe his feet an come in. " " Yes, an then you d go in an* find him at a gold table, with a watermelon on one side of him and a fried chicken on the other." " That ain no bad guess, mistah! You can t tell, neetheh might be po teh-house steak ith onions. I d jus be settin theah, stahvin to death! You know I have all ese cullud men to wait on me one to brush my cloze, one to shine my shoes, notheh to wait on e table, an I d have one cullud boy ith nothin to do cept think o what I want to eat. Heah boy, what you goin o gi me f sup- peh? Well, he say, c I got a little po teh-house an quail, an pohk-chops 6 PINK MARSH le s see, sweet potatoes, ice-cream, chahlum-rushe " Look out there! " u O, got to have some of at stuff cla et, an fancy cakes an champagne." u What are you talkin about? You wuz n t built to stand anything better n gin." " See heah, misteh, when I uz waitin on e table faw big banq et an gemman leave some of at champagne I s pose I took at wine an th owed it away, did n I ? Yes, seh, I used to get it befo em little beads stop jumpin ." Then there was a shuffle of feet, for some one had come down the stairway. A gruff voice asked, " Say, can you fix up these tans for me in a hurry? " " Yes, seh, at s sutny jus what I can do." " While you re rubbin out that ten- cent piece you can think over some more ways to spend that million." 7 PINK MARSH " When he gets it." " The most money he ever had at one time was sixteen dollars. That was when he got on that seven-to-one shot. He did n t work for three days." There was a sound of suppressed laugh ter in the corner. The man who had chanced into the place unfolded himself from the chair and saw the colored boy at work, throbbing with exertion. u Brush! " shouted the barber, but the customer did not wait for the ceremonial. He ran for his car, and all the way home he leaned back in a warm reverie and helped the boy spend the million. MISTER ADAMS On Being Virtuous in Order to be Happy Without confessing to himself that he remembered the first visit, he went to the shop one morning to have his shoes cleaned. The first conversation was the mere commonplace which passes between the employer and the employed. It re lated to the kind of polish to be used. Pink saw before him only a pair of shoes. He little suspected but there is no need of anticipating. The customer sat in an arm-chair which was placed on top of a box-like rostrum. The box and the chair were studded with brass tacks and other metal ornaments. They would have served as a Congo throne. William Pinckney 9 PINK MARSH Marsh usually had the market page of yesterday s paper tucked under the chair cushion. Pink s shirt was a black and white study of trellises, with vines climbing up them. The vest was double-breasted, and had been once polka-dot silk, but now the dots were mostly blurred away and the pockets had begun to ravel. His trousers were black and brown check, worn thin at the knees and ragged at the bottom. The shoes were extremely pointed, two sizes too large, cracked across the top and protuberant at the heel. When Pink was dressed for the street he wore also a double-breasted coat tightly buttoned, a spreading blue necktie that had been handled once or twice too often, a high white collar and a light brown hat with a high crown. Pink improved as you studied him from the ground upward. 10 PINK MARSH His apparel might have been judged as follows : Shoes Utterly disreputable. Trousers Shabby. Coat Badly worn. Necktie Showy. Collar Splendid. Hat Magnificent. What need to tell of the coal-black face, the broad-flanged nose, the elastic mouth opening on teeth of pearly white ness, and the close growth of kinky hair? A song of passing popularity tells that all members of the Ethiopian division " look alike." Pink was one of a thousand that is, so far as mere appear ance was concerned. When it came to a consideration of the higher being the sure-enough ego Pink was different. He saw things from his own standpoint, and there was room for no one else on his pedestal. On this first morning he came to his ii PINK MARSH task languidly, and even lazily. After some sleepy preparations, he drew a heavy sigh and attacked the shoes fiercely. It will never be known whether Pink was a tired mortal driven to work, or an in dustrious mortal who had to restrain him self by certain affectations. He was at his best when he walked. He allowed his feet to shuffle so that the movement was a sort of slow dance-step. He seemed to be keeping time to music which only the rapt and colored soul may hear. The morning customer learned in two or three visits that the barbers liked Pink and pitied him. They were men who had given much study to public questions. Pink came in on their back-and-forth discussions. He pieced in observations which amused them, and also convinced them that Pink lacked seriousness of purpose. They regarded him as a sort of court jester. Sometimes they patronized 12 PART OF THE MORNING PAPER PINK MARSH him half in kindness, but they never forgot that there was a social chasm between a barber and a " brush." Perhaps Pink did not fully under stand the significance of their manner toward him, or he would have been cast down in spirit. As it was, the humility which he made his main stock in trade, was merely an outward pretense. The morning customer learned this on the occasion of his third visit, up to which time the conversation had been along the lines of rather strict formality. At the second visit he crossed Pink s palm with silver, so that when he came the third time he saw a mellow smile in the corner. The barbers were talking on the relations of Church and State that morning. The morning customer appeared to be amiable and receptive when Pink looked up at him. " Listen at em toss at lang age. Ain t they wahm ? If you wan o know any- 13 PINK MARSH thing, you jus come to em boys an ask. If ey do n know, no use to look in em books. It ain t theah could n be." u They re up on everything, eh ? " u Oh-h-h, wise wise boys. Cong ess could n tell em boys nothin bout how to do it. No, seh, em rascals is sutny good." Pink folded the drying-cloth and went at the shoe again, singing softly : "Misteh Johnson, tuhn me loose, Got no money but good es-cuse; O, Misteh Johnson, I wis t you would. Oh-h-h " " A new song? " asked the morning customer. " Ain it wahm? " " Who s Mister Johnson? " " Misteh Johnson, he s a coppeh. He come in on a small game o craps, an at s what at cullud fellow s singin to him at e box." " Does that song relate to one of your own experiences ? " PINK MARSH " No, seh me ? I nevah got rested faw rollin craps no, seh." u What was it you got arrested for ? " " Who said I got rested ? " " O, you never were arrested, eh ? " Pink s elastic mouth widened, and he laughed so that he had to stop work. " Look heah, man, who s been tellin you bout me ? " " O, you have been arrested ? " " I got uh once, but it wuz n no craps, no, seh." " Chickens ? " "W y, say, look heah, misteh, some body been paintin* me bad to you. No, seh, ey done it to me faw what at judge called disohdehly." " How about it? Were you disorderly ? " u Them at could membeh what hap pened give in bad tes imony. I had to dig up ol six dollahs to keep out of at big black wagon. No, seh, I do n wan no PINK MARSH "You d been drinking, had n t you ? " " Yes, seh, at s what made me dan- ge ous wuz at oil o distuhb ance. I don wan no mo to do ith em coppehs an blue wagons an judges. Cullud man sutny can t beat at game." u That s right," said the morning cus tomer. c Be virtuous, and you will be happy. " " What is at spression ? Say it oveh. Be " " Be virtuous, and you will be happy. " " O, I guess some one-ahm man wrote at ! Be vuhchus, an you will suahly be happy ! My goodness ! I guess at s pooh lang age ! I sutny will use at on em Deahbohn Street rascals. Yes, seh, I 11 jus* brush you a few an 1 you sutny will be all right. Any time, Misteh, you goin o th ow at ovehcoat away, jus th ow it at me. No clothin stoah eveh see at coat cept when you walk past. Ten yes, seh at s e 16 MISTEH CLIFFO D" PINK MARSH propeh mount. Good day, seh. Misteh, have I got at ? Be vuhchus, an you will sutny be happy. Yes, seh yo s truly good day, seh." On the Proper Observance of Christmas The holiday season was at hand the next time the morning customer went to the shop. As he climbed into the chair he saw on the wall, within easy reach, a pasteboard box capped with a sprig of green. In the side of the box was a slit large enough to receive a silver dollar. Below it were the words: " Merry Xmas. Remeber the porter." " What does that mean Merry Xmas ? " asked the customer. Pink shook his head slowly. u You know mighty well what at means, misteh. If I on y had yo ej cation I would n be whippin flannel oveh no man s shoes." " I do n t see what education has to do 18 MY GOODNESS! 11 PINK MARSH with it. What is it, anyway that Merry Xmas ? " u Misteh ClifFo d, on e secon chaih, made it faw me. He says at s Me y Ch is mas. " u That s a funny way to spell Christ mas. What does the rest of it mean there about remembering the porter ? " " My goodness, misteh, you ain goin o fo ce me to come right out an ask faw it, ah you ? " " Ask for what ? " Pink emitted a series of heaving sounds to indicate that he was amused. u Mr. Clifford did a very fine job there," observed the customer. " Who, Misteh ClifFo d ? He can do mos anything. He s got watch-chain made out o real haih, he made himself." " He must be a versatile genius." tl I guess he say, misteh, at wuz a wahm piece o talk. What was at you say he " 19 PINK MARSH " I say he must be a versatile genius. * " A vussitle gemyus genimus." " Genius versatile genius." u Vussitle gen us at s lolly-cooleh. If I on y had a few like at I d keep em ketchin theah breaths, suah. What s e def mition? " " That means a man of varied accom plishments." Pink worked a few minutes and allowed the definition to percolate. Then he ob served with a sigh : " I could n ketch em boys ; not ith a laddeh. Too high." The barber at chair No. I shouted " Brush ! " and Pink shuffled away to at tend to a thin man with a powdered com plexion and gummy hair. First he brushed the thin man, front and back, becoming more earnest in his efforts just as the man received a handful of small change. Pink held the overcoat, and after the thin man had worked into it, he reached under for the inside coat and 20 PINK MARSH pulled it down so violently that the thin man was bowed backward. While Pink was brushing the overcoat the thin man walked over and took his hat from the hook. But he was not to escape so easily. Pink gently pulled the hat away from him and went in search of the small brush. He stood in front of the thin customer, and, holding the hat gingerly in the left hand, brushed it carefully, at the same time blowing off imaginary specks of dust. While the thin man was waiting for his hat he casually put his right hand into the trousers pocket. Pink stopped brushing and scratched at an invisible spot or stain of some sort on the sleeve of the overcoat. " Shine ? " he inquired softly. Nope." He continued to brush the hat. The thin man withdrew his hand from the pocket. Pink turned the hat around right side forward and presented it to the 21 PINK MARSH customer with a bow. The customer s right hand moved forward a few inches, but Pink s broad palm met it more than half-way. The nickel passed. " Thank you, seh," said Pink in a reverential whisper. The thin man started toward the door. Pink seized the long whisk-broom and pursued him, hitting him between the shoulder-blades. As the man passed out Pink got in one final blow on the coat-tails. u You re doing well to-day," observed the morning customer when Pink had re turned to his place in the corner. Pink dropped the nickel to the floor, as if by accident. Then he picked it up, turned it over and put it in his mouth. "Money lay in all roun heah to-day," he said, rattling the coin against his teeth. "You can buy a loaf of bread with that," suggested the customer. " You betteh make anothah guess on what I m goin o do ith any nicks I get 22 PINK MARSH hold of ese days. Bread s faw pooh peo ple. I m goin o eat chidlin s, roas pig, cawnpone, che y pie, mash tuhnips an le me see " " You 11 be lucky to get snowballs," interrupted the barber known as c Misteh Adams, who had strolled over to the corner to watch the boy at work. " Don lose no sleep bout me," re torted Pink. " I may be baihfoot an* need mo undeh-cloze, but I sutny will have my chidlin s on Ch is mas, an any man at thinks diff ent wants to make a new guess, suah. If at ol box up on e wall uses me good I 11 be a wahm baby iss Ch is mas yes, seh, I 11 eat oystehs ith my true love." " How are you and that girl gettin along now?" asked Mr. Adams, with a palpable wink at the morning customer. u I do n know nothin bout no guhl," replied Pink with a sly grin. " No, seh, Misteh Adams, I got no money to waste 23 PINK MARSH on no piece o calico. I m jus wantin* to feed myse f iss Ch is mas. No use talkin ! You know what at col wind say when it comes zoo-in an whistlin roun e cohneh. It say, c Boy, wheah s all at money you spent faw ice-cream an neckties las summeh ?" " Mistah Adams " walked away and Pink said, in a low tone: "You do n ketch me tellin any white bahbeh bout at lady." " Have n t you got any money for Christmas ? " asked the morning customer. " No, seh, I got to get someping out of at box." u You ought to be able to save a little money." " Down theah wheah I live, misteh, it ain* safe f man to have no money. If em tough cullud boys think you savin yo coin ey jus stop you at night an count it faw you. Yes, seh, an when ey get th ough countin it, em boys han 24 LO ENA PINK MARSH back to you what ey do n need. If any body goin o spen my money I want to spend it myse f." " Why do n t you put it in the bank ? " " Yes, seh, I m goin o put some in e bank next yeah." " Well, you want to bear well in mind that procrastination is the thief of time." " Le go, man ! At s sutny e hottes thing you handed me yet. Pocazzumala- shum prasticanashum chenashalum no, seh, thea h s one too good faw me. No, seh, don try to gi me at one. It keep me busy jus* foldin kinks out of at boy. u Why, that s very simple procrasti nation. It means the habit of postponing action, putting off until to-morrow, as it were." " At s all right what at means, misteh. I ain strong enough to swing at kind pocrastumalation timination " " Procrastination." " No, seh, do n try it, I can t use at 25 PINK MARSH boy. Ey would n stan faw nothin like at on Deahbohn Street. You keep at one an use it yo se f proclast-pocras- um-unn-unn misteh, you sutny have wuhds up yo sleeve at is strangehs to me." " Procrastination is a good word," said the morning customer as he slipped a quarter into the Christmas-box and de scended from the high-chair. " Thank you, seh," repeated Pink, three times. " Ey s sutny ve y few men can use em wuhds as you do," said he, as he was brushing the morning customer. u Pras- tigumation is what steals away yo time no, seh, do n tell me no mo ; it s too high. Good mawnin . Yes, seh. Same to you, misteh. Me y Ch is mas." On Winning the Affections of a Woman The morning customer learned by ex perience that Pink thrived on a diet of long words. He could not determine whether Pink s admiration for these words was real or feigned, and it mattered little so long as the boy pretended to be in ecstasy. One day, toward the close of the holi day season, the morning customer learned something of Pink s love affairs. This was really the beginning of his term as guide, counselor, and friend. " Good morning, Pink," he said, as he came in. " I trust you have had your matutinal this morning." " My goodness, misteh ! I might have 27 PINK MARSH my pockets full of at stuff an* not know it. I ain t had nothin iss mawnin cept breakfas ." " Got a morning paper ? " " I got paht o one heah, misteh," and Pink reached under the chair for it. u Part of one, eh ? I suppose it s the page of small ads. You re the only man I ever knew who bought a newspaper on the installment plan. Why do n t you save up some morning and buy a whole paper have a little enterprise about you ? You want to get a new cushion in this chair too. Do n t you know you have to treat customers well in order to hold trade these days ?" Pink restrained his mirth and sighed with enjoyment. " Misteh, you sutny good." While he was working with the rough brush to remove the dry and encrusted mud, he sung softly : 28 A HOT MEMBEH 11 PINK MARSH " I do n love a-nobody, An* nobody loves me. Yo afteh my money Do n caih faw me. I m goin o stay single, Always-a be free; I do n love a-nobody, An* nobody loves me." The morning customer folded the paper in his lap and listened to the song. u Is that your private confession ? " he asked. " How s at, misteh ? " " You do n t love anybody, eh ? " " Co se, misteh, I uz jus* singin what it says in at song." " O, I see. So you do love somebody, after all ? I believe I Ve heard something about that girl out there." " Out wheah, misteh out wheah ? You neveh saw at guhl in all yo life, misteh. What you want to say at faw ?" 29 PINK MARSH " I did n t say I ever saw her. I said I d heard about her." Pink laughed to himself until his friz zled head bobbed up and down above the shoe. Then he looked up at the morn ing customer, his eyes big with doubt, and said, " Yo stringin me, misteh." " Certainly not. I was talkin to some colored boy the other day I forget his name. I says to him : c Do you know William Pinckney Marsh ? and he says : Do you mean Pink Marsh, the fellow that likes chicken so well ? " u Who said at, misteh ? Who was at cullud rascal at tried to make me out chicken-lifteh ? " " Do n t get excited. Keep right on with your work. He simply said that you liked chicken. He did n t say that you stole chickens." " I know, misteh, but what is at he means by sayin I like chicken? Do n t you know cullud man say someping like 30 PINK MARSH at bout anotheh an he gen ally got to lose a fight? Yes, seh, you say chickens to cullud man, an at means someping." " Why, you do like chicken, do n t you ? " " How s at ? W y misteh, even if I do, do n t all people like chicken ? " " I suppose they do, but this friend of yours says that you eat more chicken than any other colored fellow on the South Side." " Who ? Who ? He say at, misteh ? Goodness ! Wis t you could membeh his name. I think I d hahm at man if I get him placed. What else he tell you ? " " Well, he said you had a girl and that another fellow was trying to cut you out." Who Gawge Lippincott ? " " Yes, that s the name, George Lippin cott. This fellow seemed to think that George had a shade the best of it." " Do n t you neveh believe it, misteh, not faw minute no, seh. It ain t wrote PINK MARSH in no book at Gawge Lippincott can do me at no game no, seh." " Who s the girl ? " u Young lady name Miss Lo ena Jack son." " Lorena, eh? That s a fancy name? " u Yes, seh, an little ol Miss Lo ena s hot membeh. She s so wahm you can feel e heat on otheh side of e street when she goes past. My goodness ! I s pose she s bad to look at. She had me settin up nights faw while." " Dark ? " " No, seh, not as dahk as me, but she ain no blonde, neetheh. I s pose at guhl ain got no cloze. My goodness ! Get on at puhl-cullud cloak ith all em but tons an staht long Deahbohn Street face at ev y window, suah." " Does she reciprocate your affection ?" " Do n make me jump faw em, mistah. What is at cip ocate ? " " Does she love you ? " 32 \A fcMnv "JENNIE TAYLAH" PINK MARSH " Misteh, I m real thing jus now, but I can t p omise no finish. I m playin hahd, but if at lady eveh calls me ""and Pink once more shook with laughter. " I do n t understand you." " I tell you, misteh. When I staht in to win at lady Gawge Lippincott uz ve y strong theah. She could n see me. Gawge got me beat on ej cation. We be oveh Mis Willahd s house ol Gawge on sofy Miss Lo ena, I m afraid e weatheh goin o be mo centri cal on count of at atmosphe cal man agement, someping like at. She come back jus as wahm as he wuz. Me, misteh? Jus settin* theah an bein counted out. I wuz n t in at cullud so ciety no mo n if I d been white. When it come to tossin lang age ol Gawge sutny had me skinned. Jus same, I figgah out what I got to do to get nex to at lady. I know Miss Lo ena wants wheel cuz Jennie Tayloh s got one in 33 PINK MARSH e same house, an kin o been th owin it into Lo ena bout not bein in line. One night I uz talkin to Lo ena an I say, What kin of a wheel is at Jennie Tayloh s got ? an she say, I think, Misteh Mahsh, it s one at huh motheh bought at secon -han stoah. Knockin, un estand ? I say, l Miss Lo ena, what kin o wheel you like bes , an she say she like at Genemvieve wheel. I pull out my little book an write someping in it. I ask huh what size, an she say, c Twent -six, an I say Twent -six, an into e book, un estan , misteh? c Black saddle o tan saddle? an she say Tan. Down it goes into at book. You jus* ought to see em eyes. c Misteh Mahsh, what you puttin into at book? l Neveh you min . You find out some day. My goodness, misteh! I own at lady Pom at minute. She know mighty well why I put all at in e book. Nex day she goes an tells Jennie Tayloh, Misteh Mahsh 34 PINK MARSH goin o buy me Genemvieve wheel. I s pose she s usin me bad now." " Well, are you going to get the wheel? " " W y, misteh, you ought to know me betteh n at. Way things is comin now I could n buy at chain at goes on e back wheel. I could n buy nough keh - sene to fill at little lamp at hangs on in front. Lo ena knows I m goin o buy huh wheel jus e same. Walkin long otheh evenin an I say, c Miss Lo ena, when s yo buhthday, and she tell me, Tenth o Mahch, but what you want know at faw? an I say, O, at s all right, neveh mind! Look heah, man,when it come tenth o Mahch and no wagon backs up theah ith a wheel in it you know! I 11 be cold wheat-cake, an no mistake! She 11 have Gawge Lippincott back on huh staff, suah nough." " Well, do you think it s right to trifle with a young lady s affections in that manner? " 35 PINK MARSH " Do n t you botheh bout at lady, misteh. She ain nobody s fool. She eveh get a wheel out o me she d th ow me in e aih an staht out to fin some suckeh to buy one of em bloomeh suits faw huh. Yes, seh, she s full of at ol con. She think she got me right now. I toP huh e otheh evenin , c Lo ena, I d like to go an have some oystehs iss ev nin , but e fact is I m savin ev y cent o money I can get hold of. Well, co se she knows what I m savin faw got to have at wheel by Mahch, no use talkin . O, I do n t know ! I s pose I m foolish ! I neveh seen cullud lady till I met Miss Lo ena." ct What do you think will happen when this girl finds out for certain that you re not going to give her a bicycle ? " " Neveh you mind. I 11 fix at all right. I 11 get mad at huh an give at wheel to somebody else. I ll give it to cullud lady on e Nawth Side." 36 PINK MARSH " O, I see. Well, Pink, I did n t think you d be guilty of such malfeas ance." "She d do me jus as much feasance if she got chance. She s out afteh at new wheel, an at s why I m ol papa in e pahloh now. Befo I sprung at wheel game, Gawge Lippincott had me done easy had me faded. I kind o like at lady, but she can t neveh get me foolish enough to let go o no coin ; no, seh." " How much does a wheel cost ? " " Goodness, misteh, keep still ! What s e use ? I s pose at wheel I m goin o buy faw Lo ena cost eighty dollahs. Hush, man ! If I on y had at much I would n be foolin ith Miss Lo ena Jackson. I d be wahm boy ith em swell cullud people down towahds Thuhtieth Street yes, seh, you could n lose me." cc Well, that s all right. If you rub those shoes much longer you 11 wear them out. Here is your piece of silver. I have 37 PINK MARSH enjoyed very much the story of your amour." " Deahbohn not Ahmoh," said Pink. The morning customer laughed aloud, and Pink laughed sympathetically, without knowing why he did so. He brushed the morning customer out to the stairway. On War With England The morning customer was permitted to see the photograph of Miss Lorena Jackson. He looked at it with evident interest and said, " Stylish, is n t she ? " " Who ? At guhl ? High - steppeh. She s got em cloze, an she knows how to weah em." He put the photograph back into a hid den coat pocket and laughed secretively. The morning customer waited a few minutes and then asked. " How is every thing around the place quiet?" u Yes, seh, it s ve y quiet iss mawnin . Betteh le me put in new paih o laces faw you, misteh. On y ten cents, seh." u Well, you go ahead and shine those shoes and we 11 talk about the laces later 39 PINK MARSH u Yes, seh, sutny, on y these heah laces is fah gone." " Pink, are you criticising my personal appearance ? " "No, seh, I do n mean no c iticizin , on y if you wan paih o laces I know wheah you can get em." " Never mind the laces now. I do n t come here to discuss sordid commercial transactions. Let us lift our conversation into the higher realms. Let s talk about art, or something like that." " My goodness, misteh, when it comes to me holdin up my end o talk ith you I m no betteh n one-legged man at a cake-walk," and he gurgled. " How are you and Mr. Clifford getting along ? " " Did n you heah bout it ? Did n you heah what happen heah yes day ? Misteh ClifFo d done it all, too. He uz e gen al an e whole ahmy yes, seh." " What was it ? " 40 AT GEMMAN" PINK MARSH ct We had wah ith Englan heah yes day O, bad, too. Ouah side win, though. Gen al Cliffo d made wahm fight." "How did it start?" "I don know. Gen al Cliffo d uz settin oveh theah by e table, an To I know bout it he had ahmy o fo million soljahs an uz mahchin right oveh to do Englan ." " How did he get them across the ocean? " " I do n know, seh. I s pose he made em swim. He had em all oveh theah chasin at English ahmy fo I un e stood what it uz all bout. Gen al Cliffo d uz full o trouble. He put up betteh fight n Gen al Grant eveh did. Co se Misteh Adams, on e thuhd chaih, he ped some. Misteh Adams uz gen al of all e ships. I guess it did n take him mo n ten min utes to sink all of em otheh ships. Good ness, mistah, I neveh see such wah in a bahbeh-shop befo in all my life." PINK MARSH " What had England been doing ? " " How s at ? Man, what could oP Eng- lan do ith Gen al Cliffo d an ese fo million soljahs up an a comin ?" " I know, but why did Mr. Clifford make war on England ? " " It uz someping bout Venzalum Venazulum." " O, Venezuela! Why, that s all set tled. Great Britain has agreed to our terms, and the whole difficulty is to be sub mitted to arbitration." " Yes, seh, I un e stand. Misteh Adams uz speakin to gemman in his chaih bout iss batation at Misteh Cliffo d read bout in e mawnin papeh. Misteh Adams tell iss gemman at e reason Englan lay down is at Uni d States could do uh up if it eveh come to case o scrap. En iss gem man in Misteh Adams s chaih he says at Englan got mo ships an us an mo sol jahs, an might do iss country if it come to show-down. En Misteh Cliffo d gets 42 PINK MARSH out his fo million soljahs an begins. Goodness, misteh! We jus had wah faw n houah. One minute, you know, Mis teh Cliffo d oveh theah by e table he d be killin bout hund ehd thousan men and en Misteh Adams at e thuhd chaih he put some of ese pedoes " " Torpedoes." "Yes, seh, t pedoes he d put some o em undeh Englan ship an blow uh all to pieces. Misteh Cliffo d, he say: W y, do n talk to me bout Englan . We done huh fo times an* we can do it agen. I neveh see a man so wahm faw trouble. All iss time Misteh Adams blowin up ships." " England had no chance at all ? " " Misteh, no mo chance an a sheep ith a butcheh. You know Gen al Clif fo d had eight million men fo he got th ough. Yes, seh, I think he got two hund ehd thousan heah in iss town. I tell you, we could n lose e way Gen al Clif fo d had it fixed yes day. Fo he got 43 PINK MARSH th ough he had all at Englan belongin to iss country. You know at big town in Englan ? " " London? " u Yes, seh, at s it. How long you s pose it took Gen al Cliffo d an his ahmy to mahch right in an capchah at town?" " I have n t the slightest idea." " Two days, seh. Gen al Cliffo d an his ahmy got oveh theah one day an ey wuzn* feelin ve y well, so ey kind o hang round e fuhst day loadin up em guns an washin e buggies an en nex mawnin ey go on oveh to London. I think ey got theah bout ten o clock in e mawnin . Iss heah gen al at London he come out an size up Gen al Cliffo d an ese fo mil lion white bahbehs, an tries to put up fight, but, my goodness, man, at gen al ought to see his finish e minute he go genst Gen al Cliffo d. It could n come out on y one way. A little while an em Englishmen gettin out of e way jus like cullud boys 44 AT NEW BAHBEH" PINK MARSH goin out o Johnson s back dooh afteh razah play same thing. Gen al Cliffo d got on white hoss, misteh, and rode into at town ith band playin at c Wash nin Pos Mahch. Yes, seh, at secon day he sutny showed up ve y strong. He made Gen al Grant look like lame man." " In the meanwhile, I suppose Mr. Adams was destroying the English navy the English ships." " O, easy, easy, easy! Iss same aftehnoon at Misteh Cliffo d I mean Gen al Cliffo d uz ridin e white hoss an smokin fifteen-cent cigah, Misteh Adams done up e las English ship yes, seh, he done up ev ything. Iss gemman in Misteh Adams s chaih he wants to know what Misteh Adams goin o do when em English ships come up close to at New Yawk City an staht tossin wahm cannon balls oveh on e houses." " I suppose Mr. Adams had that all provided for." 45 PINK MARSH " You know it ! Yes, seh, at wuz an easy one. Misteh Adams got kind o i on raft at jus stuck up oveh e wateh bout foot, an he took iss out to at place wheah all em otheh ships had to come past, an en ev y time ship come long he d th ow oF dym nite bum oveh an blow it up. I guess he blowed up bout ten ships in one day. No use tryin , misteh, you can t lose at Misteh Adams at no game eveh played. If Englan eveh fin s out what Misteh Adams got up his sleeve, she won t eveh have no trouble ith us, no, seh." " Well, I am glad to learn that we can whip England." " W y, misteh, I tell you we done it already right heah in iss shop yes day." " What part did you take in the fratri cidal strife ? " " Change it, misteh ! Come down!" " Were you in the fight ? " " No, seh, I set back heah by e stove 46 PINK MARSH dodgin bullets. I neveh see such wah. To it uz oveh I kind o felt soh y faw em English people. Did n have thing left when Gen al Cliffo d got th ough. Me an at new bahbeh is e on y ones at wuz n in e wah." "That s so. You have a new barber, have n t you ? " " Yes, seh, I m kind o fraid o him, too. You see at white tie he weahs. Look out faw em, misteh. Ey seitheh ve y good o ve y bad at weahs em white ties. We had bahbeh heah at wo tie like at one, an one night e got all e razahs in his pockets an moved. Yes, seh, he changed his scenery. He uz a quiet boy, too, ith one of em Zion Meth dis neckties." " Are you through ? Well, I tell you what I want, if you have any, and that s a pair of new shoe-laces." " My goodness, misteh ! " 47 n the Efficacy of Dreams The next time the morning customer came in he found Pink locked in an ear nest debate with Mr. Clifford. The bar ber was " honing " a razor and debating with careless ease, as one who knew and scorned the full resources of his opponent. Pink had an ominous forefinger in the air and was contending for something or other in relation to civil rights. " No, seh ! no, seh, I do n mean at, Misteh Cliffb d," he said. " I do n mean to sinuate at a cullud man ought to do anything at a white pusson does, but what ahgament I make, Misteh Cliffo d, is at he s got right to do it undeh ouah law. Did n Misteh Ab ham Lincoln settle all at business ? I guess he sutny did. 48 CIVIL RIGHTS PINK MARSH Ab ham said a few things at set em guessin ." " Why, the only mistake we ever made was in settin you folks free," said Mr. Clifford, with a wink at the barber at the next chair. Pink laughed aloud, and then said: " O, no, seh, Misteh ClifFo d, you do n mean at." " Course I do. You ain t no good when you work for yourself. There s a man been waitin in your chair for five minutes while you was talkin to me." Pink hurried over to the morning cus tomer with many expressions of apology. " My goodness, misteh, I did n see you. I m ve y soh y, seh. If ey s one thing I prides myself bout, seh, it s bein right heah, seh, on deck ready faw busi ness at all houahs. At s e on y way to get yo good customehs an keep em comin to you, yes, seh. I can t get too many comin my way, suah as yo bawn." 4Q PINK MARSH "What was all this discussion about?" u At s all right, misteh ; do n t you feel bad about it an I won t. Misteh ClifFo d got it settled ith himse f at he s ve y wahm pusson. No, seh, you could n make him b lieve nothin else. W y, misteh, he sets heah ev y day an tells ese otheh wise boys bout what at mayah oveh in e City Hall ought to do. If at theah mayah d on y come oveh heah ev y mawnin an find out fom Misteh ClifFo d how things stood, he sutny could n make no mistakes. Spose Misteh ClifFo d picks up papeh wheah it tells bout a killin . Well, seh, he reads it oveh, spellin out em long ones he ain* such a hot readeh an when he s th ough he tuhns to Misteh Adams an he say, c I know who done at muhdeh. It wuz at woman at find e revolveh. He knows in a minute. You can t fool at boy." u I think he ought to be chief of police," said the morning customer. 50 PINK MARSH Pink stopped work and shook with sup pressed laughter. u Yo sutny all right, misteh," said he, " You know, misteh, I can t une stan why all ese wahm boys at knows mo an any one else at eveh come oveh e bridge is all down heah in is oF shop, crawlin heads faw two bits, when ey ought to be up in one of em sky-scrapehs you know, misteh big desk, an you push one of em bells an say: Boy, take bout thousan dollahs out of e safe an put it in my ovehcoat pocket ; I m goin out to meet a few frien s. At s wheah all ese boys d be if ey wuz half as wahm as ey say they ah." "You do n t seem to have a very high opinion of your tonsorial associates." " Listen at you toss em wuhds ! " said Pink, glancing up in rapture. " Otheh foot, misteh. O, well, seh, bout white bahbehs it do n pay to have no trouble ith em. Jus let em think ey s e real 5 PINK MARSH thing, an you on y pooh cullud boy, tryin to do e best he can, an yo all right. Call em misteh so-and-so. At s someping ey do n t of en get an it jollies em. Bu le me tell you someping, misteh. I 11 be eatin bread ith gravy on it when some of ese white bahbehs makin mahks in e snow." " By the way, how is your bank account coming on ? You told me, did n t you, that you were going to begin to save money after the first of the year ? " Pink leaned over the shoe and brushed with great energy, but said nothing. The customer heard sounds similar to those made by a loose steam- valve, and upon looking down he saw that Pink was smothering with laughter, which he was trying to hold in. This kind of mirth is contagious. The morn ing customer began to laugh. " Misteh, yo sutny all right," said Pink, without looking up. 52 PINK MARSH " How much have you saved ? " " Misteh, all ese heah banks can bust an ey wont eveh touch me." " I thought you were saving up." u Yes, seh ; at s right." u You ve been saving up, but you haven t got anything yet is that it?" " Misteh, if I got it all togetheh I d jus bout have pohk chops an no mo ." u What have you been doing with your money?" " In e fus place, misteh, I don take in as much as Misteh Mahshall Field o Misteh P. D. Ahmoh." " I see. You ve been playing policy again." "Jus 1 once in while, seh." " Have any luck? " "Yes, seh; I come ithin one numbeh o gettin sisteen dollahs. One ev nin at Mis Willa d s house we had aigs faw suppeh, fried in fat an potatoes sliced in. I eat about six o seven aigs, an en all 53 PINK MARSH night dream aigs. I go pas stoahs an I see hund ehds o baskets full o aigs, an I think I m eatin fried aigs all e time ? so nex mawnin I suhch myself an fin twenty cents an put it on e ol aigs row." " Why did n t you play it on the indi gestion row ? " " In geschun ? " asked Pink, wonder- ingly. " Go on with your story. What was the egg row ? " "Yes, seh; aig row uz fo -fo teen- fawty. Fo come, misteh, an ol fawty, but fo teen used me mean." " How much did you win ? " "Do n t you un e stand at game, misteh? You got to ketch all three. If at ol fo teen d used me right say, I d be spohtin ovehcoat ith fo rows o buttons." " But fourteen did n t come out, did it? " " No, seh. At dream uz all right, on y fo teen would n t come out." 54 PINK MARSH " I do n t see what good it did you to have two numbers come, as long as you did n t win." " It sutny showed ey wuz someping in at dream." " All right. I am glad you can see it in that light. Where do you play policy, anyway ? I thought all those places were closed up." " Misteh, I neveh see time yet when I could n bet my b lief, no, seh. You got to weah rubbehs some times to get at e man ith e sheet, but I neveh kep no money I wanted to lose, not yet, seh." u Well, that s a funny thing. I ve lived in this town for ten years, and I never saw a policy-shop yet. I do n t know what one of them would look like." " Yo cullah s wrong, misteh ; yo cullah s sutny wrong. White pusson can t find em games, no matteh how long he hunts, but cullud boy put blin fold on him, tuhn him loose in at alley, an he 55 PINK MARSH jus feel his way to some place wheah man s puttin numbehs on e sheet. Cullud boy can smell row o numbehs faw two blocks. Yes, seh ; at s no fab cashun, neetheh." u Fabrication ? That s a good word." " At s a ve y sassy wuhd, misteh. Misteh Stein, e cigah-man, han me at one yes day. At means yo lyin , do n it ? " " Yes, a fabrication is anomalous to a lie. It is frequently used as a synonym, although if I were to cogitate with exact itude I would say that it refers rather to a fanciful invention. Of course, you under stand, Pink, that there are many terms allied in paraphristic connection which are essentially ah dissimilar when it comes right down to it. Have you got change for a quarter ? Thanks. Well, I must meander toward my destination. That s a good shine you gave me. I hope you will not become egotistical by reason 56 MISTEH STEIN " PINK MARSH of my eulogiums. By George ! It s nearly nine o clock." The morning customer hurried toward the door, leaving Pink open-mouthed and staring into vacancy. He was in a waking dream, and the broom swung in his limp hand. His lips moved, but no sound came forth. On the Powers of the Chief Executive From the day on which the morning customer defined the word " fabrication " he became the court of last resort. On the occasion of his first succeeding visit he was called on to settle a dispute. " Misteh, I want you to tell me some- ping, cuz I know you can tell it to me right," began Pink. u I do n t know that I can. You mustn t ask me anything hard." " At s all right, seh. If I had yo ej cation I would n be scaihed o no ques tion in e book. If I on y had as many fac s in my head as you got I d win mo n one bet f om some of em wise Af o- Ameh cansouttheahon Deahbohn Street." 58 PINK MARSH "You ve got Afro- Americans out there, have you ? " " Yes, seh ; I neveh know I uz one of em till bout two weeks ago. Ain t safe to call cullud man coon no mo any mo an it is to say c niggeh. My goodness, misteh ! Do n like to be called dahkies neetheh. It use to be Eth op ans, but now it s Af o-Ameh cans. At s a ve y wahm name. Since ey begin to use at name I would n change mycullah faw no money. " What is the dispute you were asking about ? " " Yes, seh. I tell you. It uza spute I had tween me an Willis Tuckeh at Miss Willa d s house last ev nin . Willis begin by askin me who I d ratheh be, Misteh Presiden McKinley o Misteh Potteh Palmeh. I say I ratheh be Mis teh McKinley, faw even if I did n have as much money I could give p sitions to all my frien s an get good livin faw noth- in . Willis want to know how I figgah 59 PINK MARSH it, an I say at e Presiden of iss heah land can say to any man he likes, Heah, you go to Eu ope faw me an spend all e money you need an have good time. Notheh thing, too, I say, Misteh McKin- ley he get anything he wants f om e gov ment. If he want new fuhnichah in e house wheah he lives he jus send out an get it an have e bill sent to Cong ess. It don cost him a cent. He sutny have a snap, I say. Now, misteh, I want to know am I right what I say bout e Pres iden ." " Well, what did Willis say ? " " Yes, seh, Willis claim to me Misteh McKinley could n buy nothin ceptin Cong ess say it uz all right. I tell him, 4 Man, yo foolish ; at Presiden comes puht neah bein e whole thing bout iss gov ment. You le me be Presiden faw twenty minutes some time an I would n neveh shine no, mo shoes f no man." u That s right. I suppose you d order 60 WILLIS TUCKEH PINK MARSH everything in sight, and have it charged up to Congress." " Hush, man ! I would n do thing! At s what I tell Willis. I say Misteh Presiden McKinley can buy anything he wants an Cong ess got to pay faw it. Willis say Presiden got to ask Cong ess bout it befo -hand an en if ey say it s all right, he goes head an buys it." " I do n t think Willis knows very much about the functions of the Executive." " Fum-shun ? Say, misteh, if I could say at jus e way you done it I would n let Willis Tuckeh o no otheh man sew me up in no ahgament, no, seh. What s at you mean by at bout fum-shun ? " " I mean that your friend Willis is mistaken. That would be a fine state of affairs, would n t it the President of the United States going around to Congress to get a little money every time he wants to buy some groceries ? " 61 PINK MARSH " Misteh, you know I use most em ve y wuhds to Willis Tuckeh ? I claim, seh, at no man has mo to say bout e gov ment an Misteh Presiden McKinley. Am I true in at ?" u Certainly you are. You tell your friend to go and read the constitution of the United States." u who Willis Tuckeh? No, seh; he ain no friend o mine. I m jus ready heah an now to buy ticket to his fune al. Yes, seh he done me duht." " You appear to cherish an animosity toward Mr. Tucker." " I got mosity faw any man at hoi s out on you. Yes, seh, what at speckled houn done to me I ain goin o fawget ve y soon." " What s your grievance? " " I do n say I grieve bout it. When he say to me, No, seh, Pink, I did n get it on, I jus say, * O! like at an* p ten like to believe him, but I know con 62 PINK MARSH when I get it. Ey can make me take it, misteh, but no man can t make me like it no, seh! " u What was it he was supposed to get on ? " " I tell you, seh. Bout fo weeks ago, I dream nothin but flowehs. I seem walkin in fields ith nothin but jus flowehs as fah as I could see. I d see sunflowehs and mawnin -glo ies an pinks an ev y kind o* flowehs mo n I eveh seen befo in all my life. Well, seh, nex mawnin I kep thinkin bout em flowehs, an I say, c At sutny means someping. Afteh breakfas I stops in at Clem Lesteh s bahbeh-shop on State Street an see in his book at if you dream wiP flowehs, e row is three seven twenty-eight, an if it s flowehs done up in bo quets, you want to play nine thuhty fift -two. Well, seh, I seen all kind o flowehs, so I jus say I play wiP flowahs an bo quets, both." "What is this play policy again?" 63 PINK MARSH " Yes, seh, two rows, jus as I say, one faw wiP flowehs an one faw bo quets. I uz jus goin out of e shop an I meet Willis Tuckeh. I say, Willis, I got to huh y down to e shop an I want you to take quahteh an split it on two sets o* numbehs I got heah. I had em wrote down, mis- teh, an I give em to him. I play nick in Frankfo t book f three seven twenty-eight and straddle ten tween Frank fo t an Kentucky on same row and let e otheh dime go on straddle f nine thuhty fift -two. Willis p omised me he d see at e money got on faw afteh- noon drawin ." " And then he did n t do it, eh? " " Yes, seh, he done it, an at s what makes me soah. W y, misteh, when I get th ough my wuhk at day an go to Misteh Lesteh s shop and see ol nine an ol thuhty an ol fift -two all in e row on e sheet, I could jus see myse f countin money. My goodness, misteh, I ask faw Willis, 6 4 m w*9/yy THE MORNING CUSTOMER PINK MARSH an no one seen him. I go oveh to his house. No, Mis Tuckeh say, * I ain t seen Willis since mawnin . So I stahts long e line. I want to save some of at eight. Last I fin Willis in Lias Clahk s saloon rubbin genst e bah an two crap- playehs along. Jus soon s I see at boy, misteh, I knowed it wuzn no wateh made em eyes at cullah. Cullud man can t get red in e face, but his eyes get bad, an ol Willis he had Tom gin eyes when I find him. I say, Willis, will you give em to me in papeh o silveh? * He act su prise like an say, c What you talkin bout? I say, c At secon row win in e Frankfo t book. Well, seh, when I said bout winnin , he made e wahmes bluff I eveh see. O, he s good, Willis is. He says, c By Gawge, Pink, I clean fawgot to get em numbehs, an en he han me back at nasty ol quahteh. I made no holleh, misteh. I neveh let on, but did n I know at man had my right- 65 PINK MARSH ful money right in his cloze? I went roun to e policy-shop to look at e bet- sheet, but ol Willis uz too keen faw me. He d gone an bet it somewheahs else. Yes, seh, he done me up. My goodness, misteh, I get so mad ev y time I re lize bout lettin him do me. He done me right, suah. Un e stand, if numbehs did n come, ol Willis say to me, c Heah s e tickets, Pink, an en he hand you some dead numbehs. If e row did come, he cash in an keep all e velvet an gi me back my coin. Misteh, I jus figgah I did n have no show faw my life ith at man." " I suppose not. I m surprised, how ever, that any of your Afro-American ac quaintances would be guilty of such du plicity." " Plicity, misteh? I wan tell you, Willis Tuckeh s wuhse an at. He s chicken-lifteh. When he goes long an 66 PINK MARSH alley, chickens come out an* roost on him. I know all bout his cha cteh now. He can t neveh place no mo money faw me. No, seh!" On the Origin of Species After a brief experience as oracle to Pink, the morning customer decided to be infallible. He learned that Pink came to him with full trust, and he believed it the better plan to answer all questions. So he found it his task to settle the problems relating to life and the after-life. Such a task would have been difficult but for the fact that Pink hung upon his words in simple faith and was not disposed to cross- question. One morning the subject mat ter was evolution. " Misteh, I m goin o ask you someping at me an Misteh Cliffo d uz sputin bout iss mawnin ," said Pink, pouring some of the soft dressing into the clay- colored bowl of his hand. u Misteh Cliffo d says at iss heah Bob Inge soll 68 PINK MARSH claim at all cullud people use to be suah- nough monks, same as ey got out heah at Lincum Pahk." " The theory of evolution is that all men came from the lower orders of animal life," said the morning customer. " If Mr. Clifford says that the colored people in particular are descendants of the simian, he is laboring under a misap prehension." " I toP Misteh Cliffo d he uz givin me mis plehension, cuz you know, I may be easy, but ey can t shoot nothin like at into me, no, seh." u Does Mr. Clifford believe in evolu tion ? " " Mistah, what is at emvalution ? " " I believe it is defined as a change, by continuous differentiation and integra tion, from a simple homogeneity to a com plex heterogeneity, or something like that." " All right, misteh, heah s wheah I get 69 PINK MARSH off. Iss is my cohneh. Goodness, man! You ah sutny holdin back mo good talk an* any pusson I eveh see. Ferenchia- shum of genity I guess at s pooh talk, ain t it ? I m glad you handed at to me. I been kind o wantin to get at cleahed up in my mind. I know it now, misteh. Need n say it agen." The morning customer lifted the news paper to conceal his grin of self-satisfac tion, and Pink labored at the shoe, occa sionally shaking his head and whispering to himself. Finally he looked up and said, " I tol* Misteh Cliffo d I could n t un e stand at, cuz I know at ol Adam was e fus man of all. Ain t at so?" " That s right. We all descended from Adam." " Yes, seh, an Misteh Cliffo d ask me how it is at we got white people an cul- lud people. He kind o had me guessin . How bout at, misteh ? " 70 PINK MARSH u Why, that s easy enough. We were all white once, but some of the people went down into Africa just after the flood, and it was so hot down there that they be came tanned." "You call at tan?" asked Pink, thoughtfully looking at his knuckles, which resembled a row of chocolate creams. " No, seh, misteh, at ain t no tan. You sutny got to skin me to change my cullah. No, seh. Huh-uh ! S pose I go in Audito um hotel to get dinneh an e whole thing ith one of em Gawgy min strel suits come up an say, Niggeh, you get out o heah befo we take you out piece at a time ! I say, c S cuse me, seh, I m no niggeh ; I m white man at got sunbuhned ! Co se at d be all right! He d un e stand at! Any man look at me know ey s nothin e matteh cept I m kind o flushed f om bein outdoohs." u Well, I do n t deny that the color is fixed now, but you must remember that it PINK MARSH required many generations for the African to assume his present color." u Yes, seh, it s goin o be two o three yeahs fo I change back to be blonde too," said Pink, and he gave an explosive bark of laughter. " What s the matter with you, over there?" asked the new barber, with the white tie, who was sea-foaming a red headed man and getting some good color- effects. " Neveh you mind," returned Pink, " I m findin out things. Look heah, misteh, how is it some cullud people s so dahk an othehsjus yellow? I s pose some of em set in e shade mo an othehs." " I do n t know, I m sure," said the morning customer, trying to restrain a smile. u I guess at what you say bout changin cullah ain t so fah off, neetheh. I use to know cullud boy in Tuhkish bath place 72 A "CREOLE" PINK MARSH at got job on e stage doin buck-dancin , an some of at pasamala wahm stuff. He could jus melt e nails out of e flooh, Albe t could. Ev ybody thought Albe t uz a cullud boy till e got iss job ith e show. W y, he wuz n no coon at all, no, seh." " What was he ? " u Yes, seh ; he wuz a Creole, at s what Albe t wuz. Co se you look at Albe t an you might think at he had some niggeh blood in him, but he ain t. No, seh, he s a creole. I know it, cuz I see it on e show-bills. Good many people at used to be cullud is tuhnin out to be Creoles, oct oons, Eth op ans, Af o-Ameh cans, an "Any Cubans?" " Yes, seh, some smoked Cubans. Goodness, misteh, you can t hahdly find no mo coons on e South Side. I think I betteh be creole myse f, same as Albe t." " How are you on dancing, Pink?" 73 PINK MARSH " Wahm wahm, an* no mistake. You neveh see me pick em up an set em down agen, did you ? I fool you, misteh ; I ain t so bad. No, seh ! But I sutny got to hang my head when oP Albe t begin movin round in e sand. Albe t got me faded, suah. Albe t went up to rent-rag ith me one night, an win ev y woman in e house. I guess ey wuz mo an a dozen razahs shahpened faw ol Albe t at night." " What in the world is a rent-rag ? " " You do n know what a rent-rag is, misteh ? I guess you ain t been out round Deahbohn Street ve y much. You see, misteh, ey s quite a numbah o cullud fam lies at s hahd up iss time o yeah, an ey can t ve y well come up ith e rent. So ey have pahties, an chahge ev y one someping to come in ten cents sometimes, o as much as two bits. At s e way some of em got to do to stand off e lan lohd. Ev ybody comes in and has 74 PINK MARSH good time, an e fam ly s two or three dollahs to e good. Yes, seh, we had some ve y wahm sessions at em rent-rags. Ey s sutny good. Take it bout two clock in e mawnin ith all of em po tehs and waitehs kind o crackin ith Tom gin, I tell you it ain t safe to staht nothin . At s what I say: Be good, but do n staht nothin cuz anything stahted it s goin o finish at e hospital, suah s yo bawn. Long bout two you got to be caihful whose lady you lay yo hand on. Cuz I know. I see Grant Jenkins pull his ol bahbeh s friend one night, and begin makin signs at ol Gawge Lippincott s brotheh, at uz visitin heah fom In ana- polis, an , misteh, you jus ought to see Pink come down em staihs. O, I guess I wuz slow, wuz n I ? I did n wait to walk down. No, seh ; I wuz too busy. I jus fell, at s all I done. If ey s eveh goin o be any cahvin , misteh, I jus soon go home an en read bout it in e papeh 75 PINK MARSH nex mawnin . Yes, seh j I do n mind waitin to find out what e finish is." u You must be associated with a des perate crowd." "No, seh; em boys ain t tough on y faw a few at gets mixed in. I been to some of em pahties out theah at uz e real thing, misteh. Yes, seh ; most ev y one have on em dress suits. At s wheah they lose me, misteh. Most all of em cullud waitehs got to have em suits befo they can wuhk. Ol Pink shows up ith his blue cloze an he ain t one-two-three. Guess I 11 have to be waiteh if I m goin o be strong out theah. I ain sayin a wuhd, but I m jus layin faw a suit of em cloze at some white gemman s got th ough usin . You eveh le me get a suit of em real boys, misteh, an ey s nothin on e South Side goin o pass me no, seh. I 11 put some of em cofFee-cullud waitehs in a trance, cuz em suits ey flash is bad got grease-spots all down e front." 76 SUAH- NOUGH SPOHT PINK MARSH u How would you like to have a suit with silk facing on the lapels ? " asked the morning customer. " Hush, man, hush! Do n get me to dreamin ." u I ve got a dress-suit you can have if you want it." " Look out, man ! Be caihful ! Do n say it less you mean it, cuz at s jus what I m needin ." u I mean it. I had to buy a new suit a few weeks ago. The old one s up there at the room, and you can have it any time you come for it." " Misteh, I be theah iss aftehnoon ahead o you, I p omise you that." " All right. I do n t know whether it will fit you or not. I think you re a little larger than I am." " It s got to fit me, misteh. I need it, an it s got to fit me. I won do a thing ith at ol suit nex Satuhday night, I guess." 77 PINK MARSH " What is it a rent-rag ? " " No, seh ; e Sons an Daughtehs o Estheh goin o have dance at Temp ance Hall. I guess I won be theah at all." " O, I see. You are going to execute a social coup de main." " I 11 be wuhse n at, misteh. I 11 make em cheap waiteh s put on theah ovehcoats an go home." The morning customer wrote his home address on a card. That evening he found Pink waiting at the front gate. The suit of evening clothes, with the real silk facing on the coat, was wrapped up in a newspaper and handed out to the boy, who did fancy walking steps as he went away, keeping time to his own music. On the Pride Which Goes Before a Fall There was a strange face in the corner. Pink was missing. The morning customer hesitated for a moment, and then he climbed up on the throne and sat in the saggy arm-chair. " Shine ? " asked the new boy. " No, I want to be manicured," replied the morning customer. The colored youth stood still and looked at the man in the chair. He seemed to be in doubt. " Do n you want no shine ? " he asked. " Of course I want a shine." Pink s successor settled down on the stool as if in a general collapse, and began to sponge mud from the shoe on the foot- rest. 79 PINK MARSH He was tall and loose-jointed. His color was that of coffee not yet roasted. The forelock of his kinky hair stood up like a steeple. Instead of a shirt he wore a cotton sweater, which had been white at one time. His brown coat was short for him, and the black braid had been worn away in places. The trousers were a shiny black. He went at his work slowly and sol emnly. The morning customer leaned his elbows on the arms of the chair and studied him. Then he asked : " Where is the boy who was here last week ? " " I dunno." " Is he sick ? " " I dunno." " How did you happen to get this job ? " u Well, seh, he did n show up yes day mawnin . I guess he s fiahed." " What s your name ? " " Edwahd Petehs." u All right, Eddie. Will you just hurry 80 THE SUCCESSOR PINK MARSH a bit ? Your technique is good, but your tempo is bad." The new boy looked up sleepily and made no response. He toiled patiently, but the shine which he imparted was noth ing more than a dull, metallic burnish. The morning customer passed upon him and decided that he was tired, wobbly, and uninteresting. And where was Pink ? Mr. Clifford was not at the shop, so the morning customer applied to Mr. Adams for information. Mr. Adams, who was chewing gum and looking at a colored weekly, did not trouble himself to look up when the question was addressed to him. He smiled in fixed admiration at a noisy cartoon and said, " The old man let him go." The morning customer went back to his office feeling that a part of his morning had been wasted. It was about two o clock in the afternoon 81 PINK MARSH when the office-boy came to the door and said, u Colored feller wants to see you." " A colored fellow? Who is he? What does he want to see me about? " " I do n t know. He s got one hand wrapped up." " Well, I can t imagine tell him to come in." With hesitating steps William Pinckney Marsh came to the doorway. His over coat collar was turned up, and one of his hands was bound up in a rude bandage, which was fastened with a large safety-pin. He had a sorrowful gaze. His eyeballs were threaded and bloodshot. The morning customer repressed an un feeling inclination to laugh. He put him self on his dignity and asked: " O, it s you, is it, Pink? " " Yes, seh ; jus some pieces o me, at s all." " Sit down." Pink eased himself down into a chair, 82 PINK MARSH shook his head as if in bitterness of spirit, and gave a gusty sigh. " What s this I hear about you losing your job ? " asked the morning customer. " I m a good thing, misteh," said Pink, soothing the bandaged hand. " You do n t seem to be particularly joyous about it. Have you had any trouble ?" " Misteh, I ain had nothin else. No use talkin , I stahted out to do too much in one night. I stahted bold, misteh, but I sutny got lost at e finish." " Well, my time is valuable, Pink. If you have any tale of woe, why, go ahead with it." u Misteh, it uz at dress-suit you give me. I wanted to be too good, too good." " Did you go to the ball ? " " At s wheah I stahted faw, misteh. I stahted all right. I wuz goin to take at Miss Lo ena Jackson to e pahty of at Sons an Daughtehs o Estheh. I got on 83 PINK MARSH em cloze you give me, an I look myse f oveh an* say: C O, I guess "I m pooh. Yes, seh, I wuz too wahm. Stahted out good, on y I wanted to make flash befo some of em boys at hangs out at Mahtin s yes, seh." u Martin s being, I presume, a saloon kept by a gentleman of your own color? " " Yes, seh," said Pink, weakly. " I goes in Mahtin s, an I see Clay Walkeh an some mo boys rollin e bones. I go up to Clay, an I say: What s yo point? He say: c Nine. I say, Two bits you seven, an he done it. Misteh, I pick up my two frien s an breathe on em an " u Look here, Pink," said the morning customer, glancing at the clock on top of the desk, " I have n t time to follow you through the intricacies of a crap game. What happened?" " Misteh, em dice did n have nothin but sevens faw me. Twin eight dollahs fast as I could pick money up. I could n 84 PINK MARSH quit afteh I got at much, not ithout takin* chances. Yes, seh, I had on em cloze, an ev ything comin my way, an* I could n get em drinks fast enough. Gin an* honey, at s what I wuz throwin* in." " Then you became intoxicated ? " u Misteh, I fawgot Miss Lo ena Jackson an* at pahty. Em cloze made me too good. I wuz gamblin ith race-hoss boys an suah- nough spohts, an I would n let no man pass me." " How did you hurt your hand ? " " Yes, seh, at s wheah gemman tried to do me ith a pokeh." " That s pleasant. And how did you come to lose your job ? " " Misteh, I woke up bout ten clock nex mawnin on a table in at back room at Mahtin s." " All your money gone, I suppose." " Do n t ask, man; do n t ask." " So you did n t show up for work ? " " Yes, seh, at s jus what I done an 85 PINK MARSH ey had notheh boy on e chaih. Misteh Cliffo d sen me out of e shop, cuz he say I wuz n sobeh yet." " I expect he was right. What are you going to do now ? Have you got another job ? " " No, seh ; I m sutny on e edge of at cahpet, misteh." " You remember what I told you about saving your money ? If you had a little money in the bank now, you d be all right." " Yes, seh, if I had some money in e bank, I would n caih so much to get wuhk right away." " I expect not. There s no need of working as long as you have a cent any where on earth. Well, what are you go ing to do? " " Misteh, I want to write letteh to Misteh Cliffo d, an* say at if he ll put me back on e chaih, I 11 sutny conduc myse f as gemman should in a bahbeh-shop." 86 PINK MARSH Yes, and what else do you want to tell him ? " " Yes, seh, I say to tell Misteh Cliffo d at I m a man among men, an neveh in- ten to do no pusson no hahm, and if he hiahs me back in at shop I 11 sutny g an- tee to conduc myse f sa sfacto y." All right." The morning customer touched a push button, and a young woman came in from the outer room with a book in her hand. "Take this," said he, and after the young woman had seated herself he dic tated as follows : MR. CLIFFORD Dear Sir: "To err is human; to forgive, divine." Your petitioner beseeches you from a contrite heart to forgive and forget his recent wandering from the straight and narrow path. He admits that, as a result of circumstances which cannot be set forth in this connection, he partook too freely of alco holic stimulants, and thereby rendered himself incapable of appearing at your establishment at 87 PINK MARSH the customary hour to assume the duties allotted to him. Mr. Clifford, remember what the poet says: "Judge not, but rather in your heart let gentle pity dwell." I am a man among men, and if you should deem it advisable to reinstate me in the respon sible position which I held in your tonsorial apartments, I can assure you that I will so con duct myself as to promote your business inter ests and bring the glad flush of pleasure to the cheek of your most fastidious patron. Do not condemn a young man for all time because of one offense. Never before, during my entire occupancy of the position at your establishment, did I forget the ancient glory of my race or my own standing as an Afro-American, and allow myself to fall into the clutches of the rum fiend. Now that I have come to a new realization of the scriptural line, "At the last it biteth like a ser pent and stingeth like an adder," I am fully determined to abstain from all spirituous, vinous or malt intoxicating liquors, and especially gin and honey. I am credibly informed that the gentleman who has succeeded me, and who is now mak- 88 "TOO GOOD! TOO GOOD!" PINK MARSH ing a pitiable attempt to win the favor of the public, is not an artist of any standing, and that his work has been the subject of severe criticism. Therefore, I humbly request that the past be forgotten, and that we soon re sume those relations which were productive of pleasure to me and, I am quite sure, of some pecuniary profit to you. I have the extreme honor to subscribe myself, very truly and affec tionately, " Now, when she gets that written out, you can sign it," said the morning cus tomer. Pink had been listening to the dictation with such consuming interest that his eyes were set and staring, and his lower lip hung down and out like a drooping red petal. When the morning customer spoke to him he blinked and shook his head slowly as if he were coming out of heavy slumber. " If at letteh do n put me back, it jus* means I can t be put, at s all," said he. 89 On the Relative Merits of Great Contemporaries Three days after the dictation of the letter, the morning customer received a postal-card which read as follows: Yore letter got me my job back. Old cuss- tomers always welcom. Yours truely, WILLIAM PINCKNEY MARSH. He laughed, and sent the card out to his stenographer. Next morning he did not go to Mr. Clifford s shop. He knew that if he seemed over-willing to promote an inti macy, Pink would no longer hold him in awe. On the second morning he went to the shop. Pink arose from the corner smiling expectantly, but the morning customer re sponded with a conservative nod, and 90 PINK MARSH climbed into the chair without speaking. He knew that if he encouraged familiarity at this crisis, he might lose his place as an oracle, and certainly he would cease to be a height. Pink was somewhat abashed by the cool ness of his patron. He went to work quietly, and after a while he said : u Well, seh, I m back heah." u So I see. I trust it is with the deter mination to make amends for the past." " You know me, misteh. Jus watch me lay low." " You and Mr. Clifford are once more on friendly terms? " u My goodness, misteh, jus like broth- ehs. Yes, seh, Misteh Cliffo d say I can have iss job jus long as I keep sobeh. Drink it, misteh? Huh-uh! Come on, Pink, an have someping. c No, seh, at stuff used me wrong don wan no mo of at. " " No more gin and honey, eh? " 9* PINK MARSH " Hush, misteh! At s bad bad! Gin an* honey s bad, misteh. It is sutny smooth bev age, but it hahms you jus like at five-cent whisky. Ain got no claws while it s goin down, misteh, but you get it to wuhkin , an you want to get right out an fight yo own fam ly. Do n do thing to you, no, seh." " When did you get back here? " u Day befo* yes day mawnin , misteh. At letteh you got up faw me fix it ith Misteh ClifFo d. My goodness, at uz a wahm boy, suah ! Some of em wuhds you tossed into Misteh ClifFo d neveh come out o no small book, no, seh. Em uz e real tomolleys. Some of em too good f Misteh ClirFo d, an he kind o guesses at he s e real thing, too." Just then there was an outbreak at the other end of the room. The barber with the white tie was waving paper money and telling Mr. Adams that he must either "put up or shut up." Mr. Adams ap- 92 WATCH ME LAY LOW" PINK MARSH peared to be in a scornful mood. He walked toward his own chair and made a side remark, to the effect that it was a " bluff." Thereupon the barber with the white tie laughed defiantly and put the money back into his pocket. " What s the matter with those gentle men? " asked the morning customer. " Do n t you know what at is? Em wise boys is settlin at fight next week. Yes, seh, ey been bettin jus like at all day yes day an to-day, an I ain t seen no money go up yet. Em boys is full o spohtin blood." " Well, what do you think of the fight yourself? " u Misteh, it s bet een two of em cheap white fightehs, an it do n make no dif- f ence who wins. S pose Misteh Cliffo d knock out Misteh Adams at do n show nothin . It s jus like goin into at side show an thinkin you see e real suhcus." What do you mean by that ? " 93 PINK MARSH " You know well nough what I mean, misteh man like you at reads all bout ese boys in e papehs. I mean ey s one ol boy at can jus fold em up an lay em away as fast as you hand em to him, yes, seh." " Do you mean Sullivan ? " " Listen to you talk ! No, seh ! I don mean no John L. I mean e wahmest one at eveh wuz Peteh Jackson." " O, Peter Jackson? He was a good man." "Make it betteh ngood, misteh ; make it strongeh. He uz at ol teacheh, Peteh wuz, an all em otheh boys had to go to school to im. Any time ol Peteh get licked, all em cullud boys long Ahmoh Av nue an Deahbohn Street sutny goin o stahve. Anybody goin o do Peteh betteh get razah an a gun." " I was under the impression that he and Corbett fought a draw once." " Look heah, misteh ! Do n t you 94 PINK MARSH know bout at draw ? Peteh had his leg broke an could n get at Misteh Cawbett. Peteh eveh ketch up ith at pompado boy all off, suah ! Peteh eveh push Misteh Cawbett ith one of em big black hams Misteh Cawbett would n be lookin f no fight ith Mr. Fitz now, no, seh. He d jus bout be gettin out of at hospital." " Oh, I think you re prejudiced in favor of Peter on account of his color. He s out of it now." " Well, seh, if he is out of it at s mighty good thing faw some of ese boy fightehs. Cuz if Peteh eveh comes back iss way, somebody has sutny got to be eat, yes, seh ! " u Did you ever see Peter? " " Hush, man ! Did I ? I took a drink ith Misteh Peteh Jackson one day down at Johnson s. You see Peteh walk into at place an ev y Pullman po teh an lunch-room boy jus drop down on his knees and shake like at. OP Will Ah- 95 PINK MARSH buckle say, misteh ! OP Will Ah- buckle he spah ith cullud fellow f om Milwaukee oveh heah on e lake front one night, an he got it all fixed ith himse f at he wuz suah-nough p ize fighteh. One day he wuz stan in at e bah in Johnson s tellin a lot of em cheap yellow boys how to get in ith at knock-out. My good ness, misteh, he wuz makin all em sassy swings an uppeh-cuts oh, he wuz good! All o sudden em boys eyes kind o bug out an some one say : Look out, Will, at shim now. Who is it? ol Will hollehs, swingin round bad, you know. Somebody tol him it wuz Peteh Jackson. My goodness, misteh, you jus ought to seen tuhned kind o white, suah. He neveh said notheh wuhd all e time Misteh Peteh Jackson uz theah. He jus kep still an give him at eye. Oscah Jones says Will neveh did get to be as black agen as he wuz at day Peteh walked in." 96 PINK MARSH " So you re not taking much interest in this coming fight ? " u Jus side-show, misteh, at s all. Can t have no suah- nough p ize fight ithout ol Peteh bein theah. Co se Gawge Dixon s puhty wahm boy, an at Misteh Joe Woolcott ain t so cold, but ey s on y one hot baby, misteh, an at s Misteh Peteh Jackson f om Aust alia." " You seem to think that the Afro- Americans are invincible." " How s at, misteh ? " " I say, you seem to think that a colored man can t be defeated." " On y way to lick cullud man, misteh, is to ketch him on e shin." " On the shin ? Does that hurt ? " u Huht, man ? My goodness ! You see Polk Street coppeh takin in one of em bad boys f om e levee he do n t hit him on no head. He jus rap him one cross e shin an at cullud boy lay down an yell jus like he been shot. Cullud boy 97 PINK MARSH sutny can t stan nothin on his shin. I see cullud boy f om Palmeh House put on e gloves one night ith white fellow down heah at Batte y D, misteh. At white man he pound at cullud boy on e head till his knuckles all broke, an e cullud boy kep on comin back an askin faw mo . En when at ref ee wuz n lookin , at white man spiked e cullud boy on e shin. Misteh, he could n get em gloves off soon nough. Yes, seh, misteh, you eveh have any trouble ith a cullud boy, you get up as neah to him as you can an say, c At s all right, seh, we do n want no ahgament, an en you get in hot one on his shin befo he has time to reach f anything. You got him licked, suah." u Well, that s very interesting, but I do n t expect to have any altercations with colored men." "I don know, seh. You can t tell, misteh. One of em fresh ones come in PINK MARSH State street cah an set down in yo lap an you got to notice him. You jus got to do it." The morning customer made no re sponse. In a few moments Pink looked up and said : " Misteh, ah yo too busy mos all time to get me up notheh letteh ? " " Who is it this time ? " " Yes, seh ; at lady I tol you bout one day heah." " I remember. What was her name ? " " Miss Lo ena Jackson." " No relation to Peter, eh ? " " No, seh, but she s jus as wahm." u This is the girl who expected you to buy a bicycle for her." " At s e one, misteh. She s been ridin* at wheel ev y night iss winteh while she wuz sleep. I kind o queeah myse f ith Lo ena at night I wuz goin o take huh to at pahty of em Sons an Daughtehs o Estheh. No use talkin ; 99 PINK MARSH I need one of em hot lettehs to squaih it. I need it bad. If you jus want to get up someping at 11 fix at lady, w y, you know me, seh. I m a pusson at peciates any good deed done to me, an I show any consid ation possible." " I 11 think it over," said the morning customer, dryly. u I think it s best to keep you on probation for a while." "Well, seh, you know me, seh," said Pink, as the morning customer arose. " I gen ally try to be man among men, and you 11 find at my p obation is sutny all right. Good mawnin , seh." WILL AHBUCKLE" On Man s Love of Power and Dominion Now, although, tiie .morning customer did not aspire rd become private secretary to Pink, combiurng with his continuous task as oracle, he felt it to be his bounden duty to compose a letter to Miss Lorena Jackson. He did not attempt to excuse Pink s conduct on the night of the reception given by the Sons and Daughters of Esther, and he admitted to himself that Pink had prac ticed a confidence game on Miss Jackson by his implied promise to give her a bicycle. Pink was not worthy, that seemed certain, and yet the morning customer forgave him, in that easy charity which enables us to forgive so many sins that are not directly against us. He pre- 101 PINK MARSH pared a letter, and when he had concluded it, he smiled brightly to himself, for he be lieved the letter to be one of the best things he had written. At the barber-shop he passed the solic itous Mr. Clifford and his associates, and climbed to the throne, whsre he waited. " Can you tell me about the gentleman in ctaxrg? of this department?" he asked. " Pink ! " shouted Mr. Adams. " Yes, seh ; right heah, seh," came a voice from behind the morning customer, and Pink emerged from the corner pocket, and with his head far back looked at the morning customer from under wavering eyelids. " You want to keep awake, there," said Mr. Adams very sternly. u Yes, seh," replied Pink meekly, with a concealed grin. " Good mawnin , misteh." " Good morning, Mr. Marsh. Have you got time to do a little something to these shoes ? " 102 PINK MARSH " Have I got time ? Well, you know me, misteh. I ain t heah to ovehlook no friend o mine, no, seh." He seated himself in front of the shoe on the foot-rest and asked in a low tone : " You heah Misteh Adams make at wahm crack at me ? " u Yes ; he seems to be full of authority this morning." u All of em, misteh ; ev y one of em thinks he s got to call off f me, o else I jus could n get along. Misteh Cliffo d, he s boss ; Misteh Adams, he s sup nten- den ; Misteh Bahclay, he s manageh, an at new bahbeh, he s fo man. Yes, seh ; I m wuhkin faw fo men heah. Misteh Adams got to get back at somebody cuz his wife sutny got him tame down. W y, Mis Adams come down heah bout twice a week an shake Misteh Adams down f ev y cent he s got. Yes, seh ; when she gets th ough ith him he s so clean he don need to take no bath faw month. Yes, 103 PINK MARSH seh ; he see huh comin down em staihs an he kind o tuhns pale an stahts in to hunt faw what he s got. She won t even leave him no pinch o change f cah faih. He got to touch Misteh Cliffo d to get home. At s a fac ." " Well, every man likes to give orders to some one." " Suah thing, misteh. I do n caih what ese bahbehs say to me. I jus want to stay heah till em green leaves come out, an en I m goin o get a chain o my own somewheahs. I sutny do n like to split my good coin ith no white man." " Well, as I Ve told you a dozen times, if you want to get into business for your self, you must begin and save your money." u Yes, seh; jus you watch me. If ev ything comes good, misteh, long bout nex August I 11 be eatin watehmelon an smokin cigahs when em white bahbehs is settin round heah fightin flies." " c Hope springs eternal in the human 104 A LABOR OF LOVE PINK MARSH breast; man never is, but always to be, blest, " observed the morning customer. " O, I guess at s pooh, ain t it? At s bad writin . Gi me to me agen, misteh. At s one I want to pass to ol Gawge Lippincott." " You look it up yourself. You can find it in any book of poetry." " Hush, man! I know who wrote at, an you can t make me believe nothin else no, seh." " Well, who wrote it? " " Misteh, I know who done it. You done it, yo se f ain t at so? " u How did you suspect it? " asked the morning customer, laughing. " Misteh, you can t fool me all e time. On y man could do it. What is it c Hope in e human breast ? Goodness, if I could jus toss off few like at I d have some of em State Street rascals jumpin out of e windows." " Speaking of your social affiliations, 105 PINK MARSH have you succeeded as yet in effecting a reconciliation with Miss Jackson? " Pink looked up, and his big eyes were blinking gravely. But the morning cus tomer kept a straight face. It served his purpose to remain calm and unconcerned when he was hurling these big words. Pink chuckled away down in his lungs as he folded the flannel. " At Miss Lo ena Jackson use me jus like man she neveh seen. I passed huh on e street otheh day, an she begin lookin f some one at secon sto y window. She kep lookin at e window, an neveh see me at all jus gi me at brush-by sign, an no mo . When it comes to playin faw huh, misteh, I m jus a deuce in a duhty deck at s all." " Do you think you could reinstate your self in her affections if you were to write to her? " " Misteh, she s keen. Yes, seh, she s took a lot of at co n f om em cullud boys, 106 PINK MARSH an she s beginnin to give ev y man at bad look when he tells huh how good she is. Misteh, you can t feed it to em f - eveh. No, seh, ey sutny get wise afteh while." u Did n t you say you wanted me to get up a letter to send to her? " " Misteh, I tell you one thing if I eveh land at baby back on e resehvation I jus got to have one of em wahm lettehs like you sent to Misteh Cliffo d. No talk at I can swing is eveh goin o move at lady; no, seh." " Well, I 11 tell you, Pink, I have con cocted an epistle here which may act as a solvent on her heart. I 11 read it to you, and if you think it s all right, you can send it." u All right, misteh ? All right ? It jus could n he p but be all right. Watch out faw em white bahbehs. If ey see you readin* at, ev y one of em s goin o rub- beh, suah." 107 PINK MARSH " You do n t want them to hear it, eh? " " Goodness, misteh! I should say not. I got trouble nough heah now ithout havin all ese smaht boys askin me bout at guhl ev y ten minutes. 1 " All right. I 11 read it low. Are you ready? " " Misteh, I can t heah it too soon/ The morning customer made sure that the barbers were out of hearing distance. They were bunched at the other end of the room, talking about things to eat. He leaned over and read, and during the reading Pink was so absorbed that he simply rubbed the shoe in a slow and absent-minded way. "To Miss Jackson, the Hebe of her Sex. " My Dearest Miss Jackson: Seated hereto- day, in my boudoir, my thoughts revert to these beautiful lines: * You may break, you may shatter The vase, if you will, But the scent of the roses Will cling round it still. 108 "OSCAH WELLINGTON 11 PINK MARSH " You may project me into ethereal space, Miss Jackson, but you cannot induce me to forget those whilom hours when you and I were wont to t * * * breathe out the tale Beneath the milk-white thorn. " I have been meditating to-day upon the cruelties of Fate. Only a few days ago we were bound together by the reciprocal bonds of Love s young dream. To-day you scorn the sable Lothario who, figuratively speaking, pros trates himself at the shrine of Beauty and begs the slight meed of forgiveness, even if he can never again bask in the dazzling effulgence of your incandescent society. Something tells me that a dark cloud has come between us. Who can it be that would seek to uproot the budding tendrils of Platonic love and plant in place thereof the noxious weeds of venomous hatred? Surely these words will convey to your suscep tible woman s heart some approximate concep tion of the mental anguish which racks my sturdy frame. The birds, sweet harbingers of spring, will soon be disporting themselves in the trees, ever and anon bursting forth into joyous melody. 109 PINK MARSH " Come, gentle spring, Ethereal mildness, come. "In fancy I had pictured many glad days during this period of the earth s awakening. I had thought that we would go forth beside the babbling brook and listen to the soughing wind whisper its message to our eager souls. I await a token which will bring me, palpita ting with love, to make amends for all the sad and bitter past. I beg to subscribe myself, very apologetically," Pink made motions with his hands, as if he were recovering consciousness. u At s e wahmest eveh ! he exclaimed. " Misteh, you send at to Miss Lo ena Jackson an she 11 be wuhkin on it a yeah f om now. Yes, seh, she 11 be settin up nights spellin out em long ones." "You will observe that I said nothing about your being intoxicated on the night when you should have taken her to the party," said the morning customer, folding the letter. " O, I guess you ain t wise, neetheh ! no PINK MARSH Misteh, I neveh could n splain to huh bout at night I got good on gin an honey. You done right. Jus let at go. Wait 11 she gets at letteh. My goodness, misteh ! She 11 be waitin out on em cah tracks faw me to get home." Pink took hold of the letter as if it were an explosive. He promised to mail it immediately. On Revenge u Misteh, I m a good ol wagon, but I done broke down, jus like it says in at song," began Pink Marsh. " What s the matter now? " "You know at letteh you got up faw me to sen to Miss Lo ena Jackson." " Yes. Did you send it? " u At s what I done, misteh, an it was too good. Yes, seh, it was so high she could n reach it." " You seemed to think that letter was going to placate her." " Yes, seh, I kind o s posed she uz wahm enough to peciate suah-thing letteh, but I m tellin you she do n know yet what at letteh s about. I m done ith at lady. She mus n come neah me no mo . I 112 3. GRANT WILLIAMS PINK MARSH jus hope huh an at Gawge Lippincott gets mah ied, cuz I can see him out stealin coal right now. At Gawge Lippincott wants to keep in nights, too, misteh. Ev y night he wants to lock e dooh an go to bed, cuz I tell you he ain t safe. If he eveh gets on e same street ith me, I m li ble to cloud up an* rain on him. Yes, seh, people be pickin up dahk meat all oveh e South Side." u Well, well, you are warlike this morn- ing." " He s e one at done it, misteh. He tol huh ev ything he knows bout me. Yes, seh, he s been knockin good an plenty, an if he ain t caihful I 11 fly down an bite a piece out o him. When I get th ough ith him, people come up an say, My goodness, at ain t Gawge Lippin cott, an en ey all go to lookin faw his face." " Well, I hope it will not be as serious as that," said the morning customer. PINK MARSH " What s the matter? Did n t the girl answer the letter? " " Yes, seh, misteh; she sent answeh, an she did n do thing to Misteh William Pinckney Mahsh, neetheh. W y, misteh, I could read Gawge Lippincott in at let- teh jus same as if his pickchah on it. Yes, seh, misteh, ey 11 be a fune al on Ahmoh Av nue, an oP Gawge Lippincott won t heah no music. At s right, seh. I m a man among men, an when any punkin- cullud houn goes suhculatin roun spoilin my cha cteh, his friends want to begin speakin faw caih ages right away, cuz ey got to make a trip to at graveyahd, suah." " What did she say in the letter? " Pink turned around to see if the white barbers were watching him, and then he drew a crumpled envelope from his hip pocket and passed it up to the morning customer. The letter had been written with pencil and was blurred and smeary, but the 114 PINK MARSH morning customer made it out to be as follows : " MR. MARSH, ESQ. Dear Sir: Probly you think you can cause me to feel diferent about the eve when you was to be my company at the ball which is not so. Oh I think you had better try to write one more letter and then stop it is not because I wanted to go with you as it is not the case you know that I have gentelmen friends who do not get so drunk when they are to take you that evry one hears about it Ha, Ha, so you see I know a sertain persen said Oh why do you waist a 2 cent stamp on him but I said to let him know he ain t so smart after all. Yours truely, " LORENA JACKSON." When the morning customer had fin ished reading, he shook his head, choked down an inclination to laugh, and said : " Well, Pink, she is certainly a wonder." Pink looked up and caught the morning customer grinning, and then he began to laugh. " Misteh, at guhl ain got no mo* PINK MARSH ej cation an at stove oveh theah," he said. u She can jus put on one of em regulah Mis Potteh Palmeh fronts when it comes to settin up an talkin , but when you make huh put it down on papeh, w y, you got uh lost, suah. Em wuhds ain t right, ah they, misteh ? " u Some of them might be improved upon." " Look at at letteh ! Looks like some one been th owin coal dust at e papeh." " She certainly conveys the impression that you are persona non grata" " O, man ! At s a new one, suah ! At s faw eign, ain t it ? Wha s e def inition ? " " Well, it means that you re not in it." " At s right, misteh. I might jus well teah up my tickets now, but I m goin o be good loseh. I make no holleh, misteh. She uz neveh mo n thuhty to one shot noways, an I on y played couple o dollahs on uh." 116 PINK MARSH " You never gave her that bicycle you promised, then, did you ? " Pink stopped work and spluttered with mirth. Then he said : " Misteh, it ain no good way to do. It ain t right to fool em at way, no, seh. Lo ena lose huh wheel now, suah. I 11 have to use at bike sto y on some otheh lady. Lo ena ain t e on y good thing on Deahbohn Street. Ey 11 be many a wahm child standin at e front gate an* waitin P Misteh Mahsh nex summeh. I m like at boy in e oct oon show. All coons looks alike to me. " " Oh, yes, that s a song. I think I ve heard it." " Yes, an at s a pooh one, too. At s bad. Le s see O, all no, at s too high. c All coons looks at s bout right." With his eyes dreamily half-closed, Pink sang as follows, using the soft pedal : " All a-coons looks alike to me; I got a new beau, you see, 117 PINK MARSH An he s-a jus as good to me As you, niggeh, eveh daihed to be, He s sutny a-good to me; He spen s his-a money free. I do n like you a-nohow ; All-a coons looks alike to me." tc You have quite a voice," said the morning customer. u Hush, misteh, you did n know I be long to at Elect ic Quahtette. My good ness ! Me an Grant Williams an Oscah Wellington an Fred Bahnett. Oh-h-h, when we hit at sassy chohd in c Fv nin by Moonlight, wheah it comes, c Ey would set all night an listen-n-n-n I guess at s bad. We get in a minoh at d coax a buhd out of a cage. You ought to see Fred use at guitah. Yes, seh, he sutny does things to it. Yes, seh, we sung in e campaign on y one night we got too fah west. Cullud man got no business goin on otheh side of e riveh. We all went oveh to meetin on e Wes Side an sing 118 PINK MARSH em wahm publican songs, an we uz good. We did n think it, misteh we knowed it. We knowed ey wuz none betteh. Jus we come out, misteh, bing ! brickbat right th ough oF Fred Bahnett s guitah. Mo n a thousan I ishmen afteh us, misteh ; at s right. You talk bout cullud men havin bad feet; you ought to see us run at night Mahsh in e lead, Wellington close secon , Williams and Bahnett neck-an -neck, two lengths be hind. We broke all recohds we had to do it. You think ey eveh get us back on e Wes Side ? Huh-uh ! We know ouah business." " You ve got as much right over there as any one has." u Co se ! Suah ! But we ain goin oveh no mo when em people s all het up bout pol tics. At s like e cullud man oveh in e jail. His lawyeh comes in to see him, an he says to e cullud man, 1 Ey can t put you in jail faw what you 119 PINK MARSH done, an J e cullud man says, I know ey can t, Misteh Lawyeh, but I m in heah jus e same. At s e way ith us, misteh. We got mo rights an anybody, but it sutny ain t safe to use em." GAWGE 1 On Independence in Politics About a week after the morning cus tomer had read the letter from Miss Lor- ena Jackson, he made another visit to Mr. Clifford s, shop. Pink was very happy and explained that as soon as he had paid off a few small debts he expected to open an account in a savings bank. When he had finished cleaning the morning custom er s shoes, preparatory to spreading the first layer of dressing, a tall negro came down the stairway and put his head in at the door. " Misteh Mahsh heah ? " he asked. Mr. Clifford, the potentate of the shop, was rubbing a quinine tonic into the thin fuzz belonging to a fat man whose jowls lapped down on the napkin and whose eyes were wide open from the zest of the 121 PINK MARSH occasion. At brief intervals he groaned * fe with enjoyment, for it is a fact that having one s head rubbed is a pure and noble pleasure on which the gods have set no high price. Between these groans the fat man advanced his views on the subject of tariff legislation. Every opinion was warmly seconded by Mr. Clifford, who was fully able to think tariff and rub the fat man s head, both at the same time. The interruption of the tariff discussion seemed to annoy Mr. Clifford. He did not condescend to answer the question put to him. He simply made an inclination of the head toward the remote corner in which Pink and the morning customer were having their quiet session. " Good mawning, Pink," said the visitor, advancing briskly, and trailing a small bamboo cane on the floor. " How do, Gawge," replied Pink, as he looked up at the visitor, and then, through some mysterious influence which directs 122 PINK MARSH the happiness of Afro-American souls, both of them began to shake with laughter. The so-called " Gawge " was rather tan-colored. A small allotment of freckles gave his face a rusty tinge, while the kinks of his hair and mustache were touched with auburn. He wore a high stiff hat with a narrow rim, a suit of navy blue, which had become spotted black here and there by usage, and the morning customer made particular note of his scarfpin, which was a large owl s head, carved of bone and having knobby glass eyes. u I s pose you know bout ouah goin to puhfeck an ohganization to-night," said " Gawge." " At meetin , you mean ? " asked Pink. u It s specially desiahed by Misteh Milleh at we get a good tendance at Mc- Cahty s Hall to-night. You be suah an come an exuht yo infloonce to get all e boys out. It s goin to be called Milleh In epen en Cullud Votehs League. I m 123 PINK MARSH sec eta y, an nachu lly I feel sponsible. Misteh Milleh re lizes ouah infloonce an he s goin to be ve y lib al." " Yes, seh, Gawge, I 11 be on hand." " Well, I got to be goin oveh county buildin an see a gem man. Smoke a cigah, Pink ? " So saying, u Gawge " drew a very pale cigar from his pocket and handed it to Pink, and then he went out, still trailing his cane over the tiling. "Who s that a friend of yours ?" asked the morning customer. " Who, him ? He s e boy at stahted pol tics. He s e one at says who is an who ain t. Did you kind o notice how he flash in an flash out ? He knows mo bout pol tics an Gen al Grant eveh did. When ol Gawge dies ey won t be no mo pol tics, no seh." "What s his name?" " At s e on y Gawge at eveh hap pened Gawge Lippincott." 124 "GUS MILLEH >: PINK MARSH " George Lippincott ? Why, he s the man you were going to kill, is n he ? " " Look at him, misteh. I could n kill good thing like at." u Why, it was n t a week ago that you told me that the first time you saw him you intended to annihilate him simply slaughter him in cold blood." Pink chuckled aloud and wagged his head knowingly. " Mus n kill Gawge now," he said. u We both eatin out of e same pan, yes, seh. I uz goin o do Gawge mo* hahm an any man eveh had done to him, but s no use now, misteh. Gawge is wheah I am now. At Lo ena Jackson toss him a mile higheh an she give it to me. She got a new face in e pahlah now, suah. Gawge an me s shahpenin razahs on e same hone iss week. Hen y Clahk s e man at s got to be took off e map. He s e hot papa oveh at Lo ena s house iss week." 125 PINK MARSH " Do you mean to say that Mr. Lippin- cott has received his conge ? " " No, seh, I do n know bout no con- jay, but he sutny got e mahble h aht f om little Miss Lo ena. She can no mo see wheah he comes in now an if he d neveh been. Yes, seh, she fawgets wheah she met him. She do n t even know his name. W y, misteh, if me an ol Gawge go up e street togetheh an she meet us, she say, My goodness ! Town s jus full o strangehs to-day. At s how well she likes us, misteh." " How did Mr. Lippincott happen to lose his standing? " " Hen y Clahk done it. Hen y s swell lookeh an got a con talk at d win most any lady. He s po teh on Pullman cah, an he jus land in heah otheh day Pom long piece o wuhk in p ivate cah been way out West. You know, misteh, pahty o white gem men out in cah at way gen - ally ve y lib al ith a po teh at knows how 126 PINK MARSH to use em. I guess Hen y ain t smooth o nothin , neetheh! Goodness, misteh, he can brush a man an bow an say Ev y- thing sa sfacto y, seh? an e man jus got to hand him money. Pahty out two o three weeks like at, an when ey come in ev y gem man give e po teh much as five o ten dollahs piece. OP Hen y land in heah ith a roll at made me an Gawge Lippincott look like a couple o dahk lob- stehs. Money in ev y pocket, misteh; p fume y on his cloze, an smokin at long kind at you neveh get f no nickel no, seh. He meet Lo ena an say, c Miss Jackson, may I espec e honah of givin you some soda-wateh? o someping like at, an en he flash at bundle o papeh money. Oh-h-h-h, I guess not! I s pose she did n* nail him! Wha d you s pose, misteh? OP Hen y loosens up an buys huh watch. Gawge Lippincott go round at ev nin to see huh, an she send out wuhd at if he do n go way she 11 set e dogs on him. 127 PINK MARSH Gawge can feed em nice talk, misteh, but he sutny went into e fence soon as Hen y showed up an begin to make good ith his coin. Lo ena s like all of em, mis teh; she s lookin faw e boy at 11 let go f theatehs an jew lery. When Hen y give up at goP watch, at uz when Gawge Lippincott splosh into e mud. He 11 luhn, misteh, he 11 luhn. I m jus waitin faw Hen y Clahk s finish now. Jus soon as he uses las strippeh of at roll an do n put up nothin cept sayin how he loves huh, she 11 find out at he ain t propeh comp ny, an ol Hen y 11 be out on e road makin up loweh seven and guessin why." " I m afraid you re a pessimist as re gards the gentle sex." "I m wuhse an at, misteh. I m an Ind an on iss heah guhl game. I won t stan f nothin no mo ." " Well, I must say that you and Mr. Lippincott are bearing up very bravely 128 PINK MARSH under your affliction. Mr. Lippincott seems to be rinding surcease from his grief in the exciting field of politics." " Misteh, I wish you d used someping like at when Gawge uz in heah. Gawge thinks he s ve y strong on em big wuhds, an I jus like to steeh him genst some one at could make him look foolish. Did you heah e kind he uz passin to me in heah? " " Yes, he seemed to be quite a talker." u He s a wahm talkeh, an at s all he can do, misteh. Gawge thinks he s e whole thing in pol tics out in ouah wahd, an nobody likes to wake him up. He s goin o make Gus Milleh aldehman at s what he told Misteh Milleh, an Mis teh Milleh he thinks at Gawge got e whole cullud vote inside of at blue vest. I know betteh. If Gus Milleh wants to land me he betteh come an see me him- se f. What he does faw ol Gawge Lip pincott ain t helpin me none no, seh. 129 PINK MARSH Cullud man s e real thing long bout spring lection, an* any man at gets me to holle in faw him has sutny got to use me good. Gawge Lippincott do n t own no body but himse f. I 11 smoke oP Gavvge s cigars at Gus Milleh pays faw, but when it comes to castin my ballot, seh, as an Ameh can cit zen, Gawge Lippincott an no otheh cullud man goin o tell me how to vote no, seh. I m faw any man at does e most faw me yes, seh." On the Selection of Apparel u O, man ! I guess you picked at out o some ash-bah el!" exclaimed Pink Marsh as the morning customer seated himself on the throne and spread the new spring over coat so that he would not sit on it. " What are you talking about ? O, I see the coat. Is it all right ? " " No, seh, it s bad all ragged roun e edges, do n t fit in back. At s a pooh coat. Goodness ! Do n eveh take it off when yo in heah, cuz if you do, you lose it to me. I jus need one of em shawt cream-cullud boys to make me good. I do n t steal, misteh, but I sutny could use at coat." " Well, I m glad you like it. It s always a satisfaction to have one s dress PINK MARSH approved by a gentleman of taste and dis crimination." u Hush, man, do n t lift me too high. It ain t ev y cullud boy at gets at lang age used on him, is it ? " " No, sir, that is a special eulogium." " I jus see at one when it go past me. Logeum logeum misteh, you got a new one to toss at me ev y time you come in heah, an none of em ain t so wuhse. At s a fact, seh. Some is wahmeh an othehs, but ev y one of em smokes." " That is very kind of you to say so." " I guess you do n know how to use cullud pusson good, neetheh. W y, misteh, some days afteh you come in heah an give me at kind o convehsation, I feel at if I had mo ej cation I would n be rubbin no man s shoes, no, seh. I d be lawyeh o someping like at." u Well, do n t you worry too much. You re probably doing more business than half of the lawyers." 132 LONZO 1 PINK MARSH " At s all right, misteh, but I d like to be one of em boys at gets up an says, 4 Misteh judge an* gem men of iss ju y, it is p ivilege faw me to peciate yo ten- tion in regahds to iss subjec an to " " Well, do n t forget that you are sup posed to be shining those shoes," said the morning customer. Pink had become so interested in his majestic impersonation of the lawyer ad dressing the jury that he had laid down his brushes, put one hand on his chest, and extended the other in a sweeping gesture. When the morning customer interrupted his speech, he suddenly collapsed into laughter and rocked about on his stool, until the morning customer, who seldom gave way to mirth, began to chuckle out of sympathy. Pink returned to his work on the shoe, but he was still seized with occasional spasms of laughter, and the big yellow- PINK MARSH white balls of his eyes were wet with genuine tears. " It s rather warm in here this morn ing," observed the morning customer, after Pink had simmered down to his normal gravity, u but I m afraid to take off this coat after what you said." " It s all right if you watch it, misteh, but you sutny mus* watch it. I on y got one kick comin on at coat, misteh." " Yes and what s that ? " " Yes, seh, if yo goin o kill em dead, you ought to have some of at satin down e front. Lonzo Williams, down on Twent -sevem Street, got one of em satin kind, so wahm it melts snow right off e sidewalk when e v/alks past. People got to put on em smoked glasses to look at oF Lonzo when he comes out ith at coat, suah. Yes, seh, it s kind o cullah of cana y buhd, all cept down e front, an theah it s blue satin. Oh-h-h-h, I guess it ain t wahm o nothin ! Got puhl but- 134 PINK MARSH tons bout e size of five-cent pie. Lonzo come long Ahmoh Av nue ith at coat on, an you see em, old an young, misteh, leavin theah homes to follow him. Yes, seh, he got to tuhn round an* yell at em to make em go back in e houses and leave him alone. Yes, seh, ol Lonzo put e price o many a shave into at coat." " Why don t you get one like it, if it gives a man such a standing ? " " My goodness, misteh! em coats do n grow on bushes. No, seh, you sutny got to wave money in front of a tailah befo he hands you anything like at. W y do n t I get one ! I can jus answeh questions like at all day. Ask me some mo . Ask me why I do n buy at Lake-Front Pahk an move it out on Deahbohn Street. Misteh, I could n even buy one of em sassy buttons." " Well, you know what I Ve been tell ing you for three months. Save your US PINK MARSH money. Put away a little something every week, and you 11 be surprised to find how it accumulates." " At s no lie, misteh, what you tellin me now. I 11 be sup ised, suah nough, if I eveh find any money cumulatin in my cloze. I thought Misteh McKinley get in down at Washin ton kind o move mat- tehs some kind o push a little coin towahds me, but do n seem to, seh." w Well, of course, if you go and play your money against policy, McKinley can t help you any. What did you count on ? Did you think that after McKin ley got in he d send you some money every week ? The only way in which McKinley could help you would be to come here and have his shoes shined." "Well, co se, misteh, I did n spect to get anything less I went out faw it, but I uz hopin I d have mo luck afteh Misteh McKinley got to be presiden ." " Yes, you probably thought he might 136 WAHMEST EVEH " PINK MARSH help you catch something at policy. Sup pose you aid win twenty, thirty, or even fifty dollars at policy. What good would it do you ? You d go out to spend the money, and the chances are that you d lose your job here. Then where would you be ? You d be out of money and out of a job. I suppose you d come around to me again and want me to write another letter to Mr. Clifford to get you back into this job." Pink listened seriously enough until the morning customer had concluded, and then he shook his head and gave way to internal laughter. He made no sound, but his shoulders lifted now and then. He looked up at the morning customer with a moist grin, and said : " No, seh, I fool you, misteh. I would n waste no good coin on em cullud people no mo . No, seh ; I take at money an I make myse f good. at s what I d do. See heah, misteh one o em stiff white hats ith a soft top, 137 PINK MARSH kind o pushed in, an black band round it, un e stand ! Co se I would n have no patent-leatheh shoes I s pose not. Ese shahp boys, ith yellow tops. Pants kind o buff-cullud. Coat ! O, say, misteh, I do n s pose I d have one ith stripes, would I ? No braid long edges, neetheh. O, man ! I d be e wahmes thing at eveh come up undeh at TwelP Street vi duc . I would n do thing but jus walk up an down in front o Miss Lo ena Jackson s house an say : Woman, see what you missed. " You d have to get a cane with a silver dog s-head, would n t you ? " sug gested the morning customer. " I m buyin it now, misteh ; I mbuyin it now." " And a white silk cravat with gold horseshoe on it ! " " Misteh, you sutny got to stop at ; I can t see yo shoe." u Then you want a diamond ring and a 138 PINK MARSH double watch-chain with a cameo charm, and a spotted handkerchief with musk on it, and a pair of yellow gloves and " u Man alive ! Do n say no mo ! I m so dopey now I can t finish yo shoe. You sutny got to stop." " How about smoking a ten-cent cigar ? " " Make it fifteen, misteh, ith a yellow papeh round it. Put about fo hund ehd dollahs in my cloze while yo at it. Good ness, I sutny am havin good time to-day." When the morning customer went away, Pink was just as happy as though he had bought the clothes. On the Transference of Affec tions The morning customer had heard of men losing weight and drooping away to melancholy through disappointment in love, but he observed that Pink was too much of a philosopher to keep company with grief. The boy gave up Lorena Jackson with no sigh of regret. He no longer talked of her. One day the morning customer, who wished to learn if Pink had a secret sorrow, said in the most casual way : " I have n t heard you speak of your lady friend lately." " She ain* no frien o mine no mo at lady, you mean. Some day when she s washin* faw livin to keep some cheap cullud hound in smokin -tobacco, you see 140 PINK MARSH Misteh William Pinckney Mahsh takin his wash roun to huh an say : Woman, if you do n get iss bundle ready by to-moh ow night, I take my wuhk somewheahs else, an you all stahve to death. Yes, seh, I 11 see e day, misteh, when at piece o p oud flesh 11 be doin up my collahs faw me." " You should n t be so bitter. You seemed to think at one time that Miss what s her name ? " " Miss Lo ena Jackson, yes seh." " Well, you seemed to think at one time that Miss Jackson was an amphibious sort of a girl." " Misteh, I seen a new stah in e sky, an it shines brighteh an eveh you see at ninety-poun lady. Le me tell you, misteh. She ain t so phibious as some othehs. Ey s a big crop of em on e South Side, an if you lose one you suah find anotheh waitin faw you round e cawneh." HI PINK MARSH u I see just as good fish in the sea as ever were caught." " Jus as good fish, misteh, but you sutny do need a little bait. Ey won bite at no baih hook. Yes, seh,you can ketch tuhtle ith a piece o string, misteh, but you got to use fresh bait to land a goggle- eye. An you got to pull when at cohk goes undeh, o little Miss Goggle-Eye up stream an took yo bait long ith huh." u Well, you are decidedly figurative this morning." " At s so, misteh, I got it all figgahed out. Man get stung three o fo times an he gets wiseh, no mistake, seh. I m lookin P no mo ladies at s afteh bikes. I m wantin em, misteh, at if you give em a few peppehmints an stan faw cah- faih, ey think they bein used good. Yes, seh. I kind o got one snaihed out now, an I sutny won t spoil uh by talkin jew lery to uh, cuz when you staht em in 142 PINK MARSH strong you got to make good all e time, o you come to bad finish." " You Ve given up all hopes of recon ciliation with Lorena, then, have you ?" u Misteh, at lady s jus e same to me as day befo yes day. She could n coax me back to huh, even if she use sugah." " How about chicken ? Suppose she invited you over to her house to eat chicken ? " " Misteh, I might fool ith any chicken she set out," and Pink shook with laugh ter; " but she could n neveh tie me down in at pa lah agen, faw I m tellin you I know all bout at lady s style. You know what she done to Hen y Clahk ? I tol you bout Hen y Clahk, did n I ? " " Is he the Pullman porter that cut you and George Lippincott out?" " Yes, seh, at s e one. You know he loosen up an buy at gold watch faw Lo ena. He J uz e hot papa P bout two weeks, an en he went broke. Afteh at 143 PINK MARSH he begin usin talk on huh same as oP Gawge Lippincott. Jus soon as Hen y could n p oduce no mo , she find out at he s tellin bad sto ies bout huh cha cteh, an she goin o have him cahved by light fellow at wuhks in a club. When ol Hen y went back on his cah he uz stripped so clean he could n change dollah faw man at wanted to give him quahteh. At s what at long-waisted fai y done to Hen y Clahk. Misteh, she s sutny a quick finisheh. I m bout e on y boy she neveh sunk e hooks into. I kep huh guessin bout at bisickle she uz goin o get. I s pose she likes me, do n t she ? She got at yellow waiteh now. Yes, seh, if he gets his pay in aftehnoon, you can sutny gamble at she s he pin him spend it in e ev nin an any time he s slow in comin up, I can jus see him huntin P new place." " Well, do I understand you to say that you have a new young lady?" H4 BELLE PINK MARSH " Misteh, I can t say I got huh faw suah, becuz I get at con so often befo at I m slow to say what s mine till e race is oveh an all tickets paid, but it sutny looks as if at Miss Belle Hopkins jus look all round an en could n see nobody else but Misteh William Pinckney Mahsh. She s whispehed it to me, misteh, at if she lose me, ev ything sutny off, but ol Misteh Wise Pink, he s huhd at talk befo . I ain t makin no claims, misteh, til I see somebody try to land huh way f om me. En I can tell if she s goin o stick. Any hoss can win, misteh, if he s got e track to himse f, but you bring out ol hoss num- beh two, an e one at picks em up oftenes an sets em down fah apaht is e one at you want to put yo money on." " What kind of a looking girl is Belle? " " Betteh n at, misteh. She s betteh n yo guessin she is. Yes, seh, she s got mo feathehs an any otheh blackbuhd at eveh flew long Deahbohn Street, an she 145 PINK MARSH got mo style in huh walk in one minute an at half-stahved Lo ena Jackson eveh had in all huh life. My goodness, misteh, Belle walk jus like she uz takin last chance at e cake, an had a bad lady to beat out. She s win in mo n one walk, an she d be on e stage walkin long befo iss, on y huh motheh s ve y strong Meth - dis an do n like none of em pasamala steps. No, seh, Belle can t do none of at c hand on yo head an let yo mind go free while Mis Hopkins round. Mis Hop kins got mo ligion an she can use. I uz down at e house otheh ev nin , an ol Mamma Hopkins she kind o sized me oveh e tops of em specticles, an say: c Misteh Mahsh, do you tend chuhch? I say: Yes, umdeed, Mis Hopkins; I jus soon think o* losin a meal as oveh- lookin suhvis. En she say: What chuhch do you tend, Misteh Mahsh? an I say, c I go out Thuhty-fift Street, cuz e preacheh out theah most sutny preach 146 PINK MARSH wahm suhmon. She kind o look at me an shake uh head. Yes, seh, I 11 have to holleh some night befo I m strong ith ol Mis Hopkins. I 11 jus have to go down to at chuhch an drown out Misteh Preacheh Fehguson befo Mis Hopkins eveh believe I got ligion." " Yes, Pink, I suppose you are going to add hypocrisy to your other sins," said the morning customer. " No, seh, misteh, at ain no poc asy. I get comvuhted ev y time I go to chuhch, but on week-days I sutny is what Brotheh Fehguson call a wande in sheep. I sutny wandeh when I get way wheah I can t heah at music." " Well, perhaps Belle will convert you." " Hush, man! At Belle s a hot tomol- ley. She no mo got at Meth dis ligion an you have no, seh. She d ratheh push huh feet oveh floo at hnd sand on it. She s got bad feet. She do n know 47 PINK MARSH what to do ith em feet at all. Shall I kind o touch up at hat, misteh? " And the morning customer stepped down to be brushed. Pink swung the long and supple broom in fancy curves and beat out fancy time. As the morning customer started toward the door, Pink whispered, " Gawge Lippincott do n know iss guhl at all, an I m sutny goin o keep huh undeh coveh." On the Relative Value of Edu cation and Wealth On a bright spring morning, when Pink should have been dwelling on the birth of seasons, he admitted that he was ponder ing on the benefits of education. Before p he spoke, the morning customer noticed that his eyelids were strained, and he whis pered to himself. He worked in silence for several min utes and then consulted the oracle. " Misteh, I want to ask you q estion, cuz I know you 11 tell me right. It s bout which is betteh faw you ej cation o money? " " What got you started on that ques tion? " asked the morning customer. u Yes, seh, ey had a meetin at e F ed ick Douglass Club last ev nin , an I 149 PINK MARSH went ith Gawge Lippincott. At s e q estion ey discussed bout, which is betteh faw you to have ej cation o money?" " Which side did you take? " u I jus set theah an listened to some of em hot boys th ow lang age at each otheh. Ey sutny wuz usin wuhds at neveh d been used befo . I guess it was pooh, too. Goodness! At Gawge Lip pincott jus spread his wings an sail round an round at room like eagle. He neveh touch flooh at all. You talk bout me bein in at ahgament! W y, misteh, I could jus flutteh a little. I sutny could n* fly." " Which side did your friend, Mr. Lip pincott, take? " " Misteh, he could n see nothin but ej cation. He said at a wise boy could make good even if he did n have e coin, but if you had all e money you could cah y an wuz igno ant, en people would n show no manneh o respec faw you." 150 PINK MARSH " Yes, but suppose a man has plenty of money he can travel around the world and employ people to instruct him, and in a little while he will have an education." u At s so, misteh," said Pink, reflec tively. At s ev y wuhd so, suah nough." u But, on the other hand," said the morning customer, " suppose that a man has education, but no money, to begin with. Can t he use his education to make money? " " At s what he can do," said Pink, solemnly. u Suppose he makes money and loses it. He still has his education left, has n t he ? " " Misteh, you sutny siftin it. Yes, seh, you sutny gettin at subjec right up in e cawneh so s it can t get away f om you." u You follow my line of reasoning, do you ? " " Go on, misteh, I m close behind. You can t lose me." " I say, suppose the educated man loses PINK MARSH his money. He still has his education left. But if a man has n t got anything at all but money, and he loses that, where is he ? Tell me that." " Wheah is he ? Wheah is he, misteh ? W y, at s his finish, suah. My goodness, misteh, I do wish you d been out to at F ed ick Douglass Club las night jus* to toss some of at kind o lang age at some of em cullud bladdehs. Ol Hahvey Wilson uz takin e money side, an he sutny made mo noise an done less talkin an* any man I eveh see. You neveh know what Hahvey s wantin to tell you, cuz he use em wuhds at he makes up himself all e time sayin someping bout e scrambation of illipsical o ambi- fication faw scientific tomology, an all at. He do n know what at means any mo an you do." " Well, you know what c tomology means, do n t you ? " asked the morning customer. 152 OL MIS 1 HOPKINS PINK MARSH " How s at, misteh ? c Tomology ? " "Yes, the word c tomology, you just used. You know what that means, do n t you? " Pink rubbed the shoe slowly and ap peared to be in deep thought. u I une stand in gen al way e defimition, but I can t hahdly tell it." " Tomology * means the science of to matoes." " Yes, seh. I knew it uz someping like at, but Hahvey Wilson, he did n know, misteh. He jus huhd somebody use at wuhd, an he say, * At s a good wuhd. I jus need at ! Yes, seh, he thinks at tomology someping about e Bible." " Well, which side won the debate ? " lt Misteh, at Gawge Lippincott beat Hahvey Wilson at ev y tuhn in e road. My goodness, he had oP Hahvey hangin on e ropes, but ey done him duht, suah. Hahvey got at decision. Yes, seh; his brotheh-in-law uz one of e judges, an 153 PINK MARSH notheh judge uz Lou Pahkeh at Gawge kep out o bein janitah at e police station. Ol Gawge sutny had no chance genst at push." u Are you a member of the club ?" "No, seh; I jus kind o follow oP Gawge in. Bout month ago, misteh, ey sutny had a wahm session bout c Which is e greates , wateh o fiah ? I s pose oP Gawge did n say a wuhd at night. He jus ask em one question, misteh, at settled e whole thing. He jus say, c Wateh can put out fiah, but how bout fiah puttin out wateh ? Afteh he showed at wateh uz strongeh n fiah, he say, What s e mos hahm fiah eveh done ? At uz e Chicago fiah. It jus buhn up one town, but did n t e flood wash away ev y thing? W y, misteh, at flood wash away hund ehds towns e size o Chicago, an* nobody eveh heah anything mo* bout em." " Do you believe that story about Noah s ark and the flood?" 154 PINK MARSH " How s at, misteh ? Do I believe at sto y ? Ain t it wrote down in e Bible, huh ? " " Yes, but I did n t know whether you Relieved it or not." " Look heah, man ! S pose I did have some doubts bout at sto y. Do n t you think I m eveh foolish nough to say so. No, seh ; I m takin no chances. I jus say I b lieve ev ything at s put down an* en I m safe." " Why, it s just as bad to have a doubt in your mind as it is to come right out and say so," remarked Mr. Clifford, the head barber, who had lounged over to hear the talk. " No, seh ! " replied Pink, emphatically. " Ey can t prove nothin genst me if I do n t come out an say someping. S pose ey say, c Misteh Mahsh, did you al uz believe e Bible ? an I say, Yes, seh. Ey could n prove what been in my mind; no, seh. Ain at so, misteh ? " 55 PINK MARSH " I m in doubt about that," said the morning customer. u But if ey say, c How bout at maw- nin in e bahbeh-shop when you told em gem men at you wuz n t suah bout Noah an* e ahk ? what could I answeh back? No, seh ; you do n t get me into no trouble about e Bible. I do n know what all s in at Bible, but I say it s so, o else it would n t be in. I m takin no chances, misteh. I ain no good chuhch membeh now, but I m goin o keep good on believin in at Bible, so if eveh I get sick o j anything e matteh ith me, I wont have to squaih myse fve y much. At s goin o count faw me, misteh, if I can say I b lieve at Bible all e time." " You have it all figured out," said the morning customer, " and I do n t see how they can lose you." Pink was much elated to think that he had not been trapped into expressing any doubt as to scriptural revelation. 156 PREACHEH FEHGUSON On the Sin of Neglecting an Opportunity The friendship between the morning customer and Pink lasted well, because it was never allowed to drift into familiarity. Whenever the morning customer climbed to the throne, he was greeted with formal politeness. He listened gravely when Pink told his secrets, and, by fine tact, invited confidence even while repelling intimacy. He seldom spoke of himself, and there never can be a real companion ship between two persons until they have compared experiences. After the months had passed, Pink knew the morning customer as an exalted and dignified personage who had command of the wisdom of all ages and allowed his light to shine. And that was all he knew, 157 PINK MARSH The morning customer, on the other hand, knew Pink s biography the boy s early life in an Ohio town, how he fol lowed the race horses to Chicago, why he gave up working in a dairy lunchroom, and so on, up to the time when he took the room at Mrs. Willard s house and was placed in charge of the boot-polishing department in Mr. Clifford s shop. It has already appeared that he learned of Pink s habits, his falling from grace, and his recovery of the high intentions to be important and have money of his own. With each visit the morning customer learned something more regarding the boy. For instance, one morning the conversa tion turned upon the subject of dramatic art, and Pink gave the opinion that " Ca- mille " was the greatest play ever written. u Took a guhl to see at Camille one night," he said. u She jus shiveh an hang on to me all e way home. I got puhty well roused myse f." 158 PINK MARSH At another time, soon after Pink had expressed his entire faith in the Bible (as set forth in the preceding chapter), ke talked of music, and said that "rag-time" melodies pleased him, but that he dared not listen to them during business hours, because the mists came before his eyes and he became so excited that he could not shine shoes. He told of his belief that the angels in heaven played u rag time " music, and he regarded this as an inducement for all colored people to lead pure lives. While they were talking of u rag-time " music, the morning customer asked why it was that a colored man could dance so much better than a white man. Pink ad vanced the explanation that the colored man had fewer bones than the white man, and had his joints peculiarly constructed, according to an all-wise plan. He also held that the white men s bones were " brickie," while the colored man could 159 PINK MARSH bend his frame and assume certain shapes which added to the charm of his perform ance as a dancer. The morning customer shook his head in doubt, and Pink said that a doctor had once explained to him the construction of a colored man, telling him, among other things, that the skull was an inch thick and that the only ten der part of the anatomy was the shin-bone. It happened that just after Pink had won his point concerning the bony struc ture of the members of his race, two bar bers and a man in the second chair be came involved in loud talk about the con tinuous war-cloud in Europe. This in terruption gave the morning customer a chance to retire gracefully from the dis pute as to anatomy, so he asked: " Have you been reading the war news in the papers ? " " Misteh, I got no time faw at wah when ey s fo tracks runnin ; no, seh. I been too busy watchin em at Memphis 160 COME AN TAKE MY MONEY" PINK MARSH to know bout at wah. I mahked em yes day, misteh, an three out o fo win. an I did n have a cent on one of em. u I understand. You ve been making these mind bets figuring how much you might have won/* " Misteh, I ought to be cah yin roll to-day at d look like bolt o wall-papeh. " Yes, seh, I had oP Domingo at Mem phis, an at Pahson at Newpoht. Cullud boy tol* rue to be suah an get someping on Pahson as soon as he uz good odds. Yes day, misteh, he uz six to one, an I know he could n lose, an heah I set rub bing up tans faw nasty oP ten a throw when I ought to been oveh in at back room playin my cloze on at Pahson. W y, misteh, he went past em jus* like ey was tied. I know wheah I could got five dollahs yes day, too. I take at five and play Domingo an Pahson, an I get mo an hund ehd of em big smiling dol lahs to-day." 161 PINK MARSH " I m afraid I 11 never cure you of gambling." " W y, misteh, when you see on e blackboahd at Pahson s six to one, an you know he can t lose, I m tellin you, misteh, it ain right to keep at money in yo pocket. If at bookmakeh say, Come an take my money, yo sutny foolish if you do n do it." u I can t see that you Ve ruined very many bookmakers. Where s all the money you ve won on the races?" " Hush, man ! I do n s pose I done a thing to ol Sly Libson one day, did I ? I jus caught at rascal seven to one, an I come back Pom e pahk in open caih age smokin one of em pooh fifteen-cent cigahs." u Yes, you told me about that. You went out that night and lost your job. How long did your money last you ? " " Neveh mind bout at time, misteh. Nex time Misteh Mahsh gets on one of 162 PINK MARSH em good things, he s goin o take at money an plant it deep, suah." u What ! Are you going to save money at last ? " " At s what I need, misteh. At s what I got to have." " Well, that s a virtuous resolution, certainly, but I don t think you ll ever make any money playing the races." " You can t tell, misteh. I been feel- in ve y lucky for sev al days." " Well, I hope you 11 not be disap pointed. Since when have you had this desire to save money ? " " Well, misteh, you got to have a little, o they sutny got no use faw you." " Who has n t any use for you? I won der if you are contemplating matrimony." " Hush, man !" " What s her name the new one ? " " Who ? At Miss Belle Hopkins ? I neveh say I uz goin o join up ith at lady." 163 PINK MARSH " No, but I m very suspicious." Pink laughed away down in his throat, and shook his head warningly. " I do n say I will mah y at lady, an I do n say I won t do it. She s a cana y buhd, mis- teh, an she sings sweet song, but e cullud boy ain got no cage. You can t neveh live on em cake-walks. Cake-walks is good, misteh, but you can t eat em, no seh ! At s ev y wuhd so. Thank you, seh. How s at, misteh ? Keep J e change? Oh, I s pose I do n know how, do I ? I tol you, misteh, at I wuz feelin lucky." On Secret Defamation of Character There was a dark cloud in the sky. Pink Marsh told the morning customer about it at the first opportunity. He be gan by saying that he would have to write another letter. "What s the matter?" asked the morning customer. " Dahk cloud in e sky, misteh. Yes, seh, ey s a dahk cloud in e sky, caused by some low-down cullud pusson, who I call a snake-in- e-grass right to his ve y face." " Who is the snake~in-the-grass ? " " At s what I can t find out, misteh." "Well, how can you tell him anything to his face, then ? " 165 PINK MARSH " Jus le me know who it is, misteh ; at s all Misteh Mahsh caihs to know. Yes, seh, he be layin in at shiny box an people go by an say : c Jus looks like he s sleep, do n t he ? Co se, his cloze goin o coveh up all em holes I cahve in him. I m goin o leave nough o him to make a good fune al, an at s bout all. "It isn t George this time George, what s his name? " " No, seh, it ain t Gawge. I can t find out who done it, but if I look in ev y house on Deahbohn St eet, I m suah to find him some time o otheh, an when I do hush man! You jus listen on e Nawth Side, an you heah him squawk out Twent -Sevem Street. Yes, seh, yo next." The last was addressed to a young man in checked clothes, who had edged up and was listening with a steadfast grin. " Who s that you re goin to do up ? " he asked. 166 PINK MARSH u At s nobody, misteh," replied Pink, with an averted wink at the morning cus tomer. " I would n huht nobody. You jus have a good chaih, misteh, an I 11 sutny use you right in ve y few minutes. Heah s mawnin papeh, seh, at s got all bout at Cong ess. Yes, seh, you get oveh by e window yo suah to get plenty o light. Yes, seh, I 11 be ready faw you, seh, in ve y shawt time." Pink diplomatically steered the young man over to the window and supplied him with the remnant of a morning paper, after which he returned to the morning cus tomer, with a sidewise expression of satis fied cunning. u I do n wan no sody-juggleh out o no drug-stoah to stan round an rubbeh when I m talkin em p ivate mattehs," he said, confidentially, as he resumed his place on the stool. " I got to use him propeh, cuz his money goes on e street-cahs jus same as yo s, but I sutny do n want to be con- 167 PINK MARSH f dential ith no boy at tosses em aig phosphates." " Well, what s the purport of all this sanguinary conversation ? " asked the morn ing customer, who had noted that Pink always mapped out the vengeance first and told of the provocation afterward. Pink smiled in upward admiration, and then his shoulders shook in rapid measure, showing that he was enjoying himself inwardly. " Ev y day new ones, misteh ! " he ex claimed. " Ev y day new ones ! Some hotteh an othehs, but all of em too wahm faw pooh cullud boy." " Did n t I understand you to say that you were going to slaughter some one ? " " Misteh, heah s what I m goin o do: I m goin o cut my name in at cullud rascal so deep at you can read it Pom behind same as in front. I m goin o stand him up an whittle him. Yes, seh; I m goin o take of? so much o his 168 TOSSES EM AIG-PHOSPHATES PINK MARSH weight at he 11 be in new class. I 11 sutny trim him good. When I finish ith him an pack my tools, he 11 be diff ent shape at s a fac ." "I think I begin to understand," said the morning customer. " Somebody has stolen that new girl." " Who ? Who ? Do n neveh believe it, seh. No, seh ! If ey get at lady way f om William Pinckney, ey sutny got to pull uh. She could n leave me if she want to. You know what she say ? Misteh Mahsh, ey s one floweh at blooms in ev y gahden, an you ah my honeysuckle. u That s very pretty." u It ain t ev y dahk-haihed boy at gets at kind, misteh." u I suppose not. Well, if you have n t lost Miss Hopkins, what seems to be the trouble?" " Yes, seh, e trouble is, misteh, at some cullud pusson s out to poison my 169 PINK MARSH cha cteh. Somebody s been knockin me ith ol Mis* Hopkins. Goodness, mis- teh ! She tell Belle at she heah I like gin an* roll e bones an play numbehs an cah y razah, an " "And steal chickens ? " Suah ! Wuhse kind o chicken-lifteh steal em in front o butcheh-shops an stoahs steal ese at s picked an cleaned. Yes, seh, whoeveh it is at s knockin , I s pose, got me down faw stealin dead chickens. It takes a spoht to go afteh a live chicken, misteh, but when you take dead one, at s jus plain stealin . I s pose I m dead-chicken thief." " Somebody s been telling all these things to Miss Hopkins s mother is that it ? " " Misteh, I ought to be oveh in e jail, an have my pickchah in e papeh. Neveh mind, misteh, I m waitin ." " Do you suspect any one ? " " I Ml tell you bout at, misteh. Miss 170 PINK MARSH Belle got a cousin, Chesteh Hopkins, at leads e singin at e chuhch. Chesteh got side-whiskehs. Look out faw one ith side-whiskehs, misteh ! It wuz n neveh meant faw no cullud pusson to have side- whiskehs. Chesteh got a ve y wahm set of em, too. An he weahs eyeglasses ! Hush ! I tell you, misteh, he ain t right. He do n look like no cullud pusson. He look mo like some Sunday-school white man at jus shift his cullah. I guess he ain no cullud man, neetheh, come to think bout it. Chesteh wuz e fus Af o- Ameh can on Deahbohn Street. He s suah nough Af o-Ameh can, an he got a bad eye in his head faw Misteh William Pinckney Mahsh. Him an Brotheh Fehguson, e preacheh, jus about own at chuhch at ol Mis Hopkins goes to, an I do n s pose ol Chesteh goin o ovehlook no chance to spoil my bets. Cose I ain been goin to chuhch ve y often in e las twenty yeahs o so, an mebbe Chesteh 171 PINK MARSH do n think I got no ticket faw to swing on e sweet cha iot," and Pink laughed. " Have n t been to church, and you re proud of it," said the morning customer, shaking his head. " I m afraid you re a hopeless case." " I been sev al times lately ith Miss Belle." " Trying to get on good terms with Mrs. Hopkins." " I s pose at s a bad guess, misteh. Anyways I ain t win at ol lady yet. Good ness, misteh ! I like to know who feed huh at mean talk bout me. Somebody scandalize my name, suah. On y one thing squaih me ith Mis Hopkins at s one of em lettehs. Make me good one, misteh, an put in some sc ipchah. Ain t scaihed o losin my baby, but I want to be so good up at e Hopkins house at a good wahm dinneh be waitin faw me any time I call." The morning customer promised. 172 COUSIN CHESTEH On Conjuration The morning customer spent fifteen minutes in composing the letter which was to give Pink Marsh a sure standing with Belle Hopkins s mother. He pushed aside the letters waiting to be answered, and devoted himself to the labor of love. Was he prompted by the hopes of a re ward? None except that reward which comes to the unselfish man when he knows that he has helped to complicate a love affair. He took it to Mr. Clifford s shop two days after his promise had been given. Pink was anxious to hear the letter, and he exercised great haste in shining a pair of scaly gaiters, so that he could go into a close session with the morning customer. PINK MARSH u Got at, misteh ? " he asked 2 cau tiously. "Which? O, that letter? Yes, I dashed off a few lines and had them type written. I ve left it so that you can sign your name at the bottom that is, if it suits you." " Suit me, misteh ? I know it s good befo you read it." " I did n t know Mrs. Hopkins s first name, so I left that blank. Do you know it ? " " No, seh, I do n t. Jus Mis Hop kins ; at s all we eveh call huh." " Has she got a husband ? " " Yes, seh, she got a husband." " What s his name ? " " Zig Lucas." " Her name is Mrs. Hopkins and her husband s name is Zig Lucas how do you make that out ? " u Mis Hopkins, she been mah ied be fo . I guess so wuz oP Zig. He got boy 174 PINK MARSH Spotswood Lucas , at ain no kin to Belle at all. Ol Spot neveh done day s wuhk in his life. Sick all e time. Yes, seh, too sick to wuhk jus* able to eat an play pool." " I put it c Mrs. Hopkins here. We 11 let it go at that. Are you ready to hear it?" " Yes, seh, misteh. Do n make it too loud." " Mrs. Hopkins My Dear Madam: It is with " " Hold on, misteh. You want to get me in trouble ith at oF Zig ? What you got me sayin to Mis Hopkins ? " " Why, you address her as c My dear madam. " Ain t at puhty wahm to give at oP guhl ? When she reads at, she think I m afteh huh, stead o Belle. Deah madam* my goodness ! At s lovin talk, suah." " O, that does n t mean anything. Any letter to a married lady of your acquaint- PINK MARSH ance should begin that way. You leave it alone. That will please her." He read the letter : " MRS. HOPKINS My Dear Madam: It is with feelings of indiscriminate respect that I ad dress you upon a subject which I regard as altogether behooving. * Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, Thou shalt not escape calumny. " How true this is! It is with excruciating surprise that I learn of a recent attempt to cast aspersions on my character, which I have al ways sought to keep herbiverous. As you are doubtless cognizant, I have lately endeavored to place myself in immediate juxtaposition to your daughter, Belle, whose caloric properties are such as to excite my profound admiration. At present she is the most salubrious object within my range of vision. Animated, no doubt, by the rancor of envy, some inconse quential marplot is striving to elucidate my su periority. I wish to deny emphatically any thing you may hear which is not derogatory to my character. Without going into details, I may say with all the vehemence of asseveration, 176 BUD" PINK MARSH that I am the most superior Afro-American who ever approached on the rural highway. This epistle will doubtless remove all eccentricities from your mind, and make you disposed to regard me as the proper recipient of gusta tory favors. Thanking you for your kind attention, I am, with sufficient respect, yours truly. " While the letter was being read, Pink emitted tremulous groans, and at the con clusion he said, in an awed whisper: " O, man! O, man! O, man! " " I did n t think it was best to deny, specifically, any of the charges against you," said the morning customer. " I simply put in a general plea and threw you on the mercy of the court. Have you any changes to suggest? " " Look heah, misteh, why do n t you ask me to go out an change e stahs in e sky? No, seh; at letteh s too good faw any boy my ej cation to trifle ith it. When Mis Hopkins read at, she 11 know I m good. 177 PINK MARSH I can jus see myse f eatin Sunday dinneh up at at house." u You ve never eaten up there yet, eh?" " I do n daih to, misteh; no, seh." " Why not? " "I m fraid of at ol guhl. She s f om Kentucky, an she knows too much. I m fraid she d cunjuh me, suah." " Conjure you? What does that mean? " " Hush, misteh, you know what at means betteh an I do a man yo ej ca- tion." " I assure you that I do n t know. How could Mrs. Hopkins conjure you? " " Well, misteh, I do n hahdly b lieve it myse f, but I heah them Southehn cullud people tell bout puttin at stuff in yo eatin , an it make someping grow inside o you someping like lizahd." " O, pshaw! You do n t believe all that stuff, do you? " " Look heah, misteh man, some of em 178 PINK MARSH oP cullud people at s lived down South can use you bad if you ain caihful. Bud Law ence toP me he saw man in Ken tucky at got cunjuhed by an oP cullud lady, an he had to sen to Loueyville faw oP cullud doctah. Doctah come an dig all em roots an uhbs an make tea faw at cul lud man, an he toss up two white lizahds. At s what Bud seen ith his own eyes." " How did these lizards get into him? " " My goodness! He got cunjuhed, mis- teh at s how he got em. He had fuss ith an oP cullud lady, an she put at cun- juh stuff in his dinneh. Yes, seh, you can laugh, misteh, but ey s sutny someping in at cunjuh business. Look heah, seh, did n you eveh put hoss-haih into bottle an see it tuhn into snake? Yes, seh, I seen at myse f. At s what em cunjuh people do put someping like at into yo victuals, an it get inside o you, an you begin feelin bad an get thinneh an thin- neh, an if you do n get at boy out o you 179 PINK MARSH goin o have a black beh yin, suah. Yes, seh, em cunjuh people come an plant someping.in front o yo* house, too. You walk oveh it ev y day, an afteh while you get sick, an fus thing you know you jus tuhn up yo toes. I do n want nothin to do ith em cunjuh people." u Well, do you think Mrs. Hopkins has the power to conjure you? " " Yes, seh, most any o em ol cullud ladies f om e South got at poweh. OP Pink sutny ain goin o eat no dinneh in at house til he knows at Mis Hopkins likes him. She s been talkin bad bout me, an I go to at house an eat you do n know what she do to me! " " Have n t you got your rabbit s foot? " " Yes, seh, you can laugh, misteh, but don t you fool yo se f bout at cunjuh n. Someping in it, suah." Pink shook his head solemnly, and ap peared to be somewhat grieved that the morning customer went away laughing. 180 TOO SICK TO WUHK" On the Doubts which Precede Matrimony Pink Marsh reported to the morning customer that the letter to Mrs. Hopkins had accomplished its purpose. " She ain t th ough lookin oveh at letteh yet," he said, shaking his head and bubbling with laughter. " OP Zig, he did n eveh b lieve I wrote it. He tell Belle to ask me who wrote at letteh. 1 say, Look it oveh, guhl, an* see whose name s down at e bottom. My good ness, misteh ! At letteh did suit oP Mis Hopkins! She likes em hot wuhds, just e kind you put in at letteh. Yes, seh, when Brotheh Fehguson up at e chuhch begin to toss em hot wuhds at e brethe n an sistuhn, at s when ol Mis Hopkins begin to get happy an let go." 181 PINK MARSH " You do n t think she 11 conjure you now?" " Cunjuh me, misteh ? Pink is huh honey-boy now suah! She likes me now, cuz she find out I got wahm ej cation. All at talk bout medimate justamisition " " c Immediate juxtaposition ? " " Yes, seh ; at s what win oP Mis Hopkins. She s sutny usin me good ese days. Misteh Mahsh, I hope yo feelin ambulous iss ev nin*. O yes, Mis Hop kins, I m ve y lansimous." tc You did n t tell her you were lansi mous, did you ? " " W y yes seh. I jus say like at, c I m feelin ratheh lansimous. " " c Lansimous means that you are suf fering from remorse that you ve got something on your mind." " Yes, seh ; at s so, misteh; but Mis Hopkins she did n know what at meant. I s pose she thought I jus meant I wuz feelin well." 182 OL 1 ZIG" PINK MARSH " So you re welcome to the house now?" " Hush, man ! Las night an* night befo . Settin on e front steps ith my sweet thing, an holdin on to huh so she would n get lost. O, I guess she s pooh," and Pink hit the box with his polishing-brush and laughed immoderately. u Well, if Mrs. Hopkins is won over and Belle loves you, I do n t see that there is anything to prevent an early union." " You mean faw us to get mah ied ?" " Why, certainly. You ve been court ing this girl for several weeks, have n t you ? You say she loves you, and, accord ing to your own admission, you have visited her at her home and sat on the front steps with her probably embraced her." Pink was bent over the shoe, quivering with laughter at the recital. u I have helped you to win the favor of the young lady s mother," continued the 183 PINK MARSH morning customer. " Now that the girl and her mother trust you, are you going to betray that trust ? You talk as if you did n t intend to marry her at all." " Look heah, misteh," said Pink, still bubbling with laughter, " what you think we goin o live on buck dances ? In e fus place, at maih age license cost two dollahs. I ain t even got nasty ol* two, no, seh ! How bout em lace cuhtains faw windows, an pohk-chops to eat ev y mawnin ? Huh-uh! Can t get mah ied till I got at roll." " About the first time I ever came into this shop, six months ago, I advised you to begin saving your money. If you had started in and saved two dollars a week, you would have had fifty or sixty dollars by this time. With that much you could have bought a new suit of clothes, rented a house and made a first payment on some furniture. As it is, how much have you this morning ? " 184 DRIVES CAIH AGE" PINK MARSH " Misteh, if ey had n t rung in bosses on me las night, I d have sev al dollahs iss mawnin ." " So you ve been playing craps again ? That was after your call on Miss Hopkins, I presume." " Yes, seh ; I had em comin good, but little Joe use me bad, an somebody get in bosses, an en a big cullud fellow at drives caih age jus took me way in his cloze. 01 Gawge Lippincott went broke, too." " Well, there you are again gam bling ? Does this girl know that you gamble ? " " She do n caih how much I gamble, if I on y pull out someping. Co se she got no use faw man at s cleaned all e time. You got to flash two-bit piece once in awhile to keep em smilin ." " Well, what will be the outcome of this affair with Miss Hopkins? If you 185 PINK MARSH do n t intend to marry her, why have you pursued her ? " "Look heah, misteh, I don say I won t mah y at Miss Belle Hopkins. I s pose I might if I had mo money ; but you know what I say to you heah one day cake-walks is good, but you sutny can t eat em. If I jus get on good live one some time, bout fawty to one, an play five dollahs hush, misteh ! We be livin in one of em white houses ith blue cuh- tains in e windows, an all em red velvet sofys an chaihs, wall-papeh covehed ith mawnin -glo ies, Brussel cahpet on e flooh " u Picture of Peter Jackson in the par lor, * suggested the morning customer. Pink yawped at the idea, and leaned forward on the box in a convulsion of mirth. u Misteh, yo sutny good ! Yes, seh ; we got to have oP Peteh. My goodness ! At s fine house I got, suah ! I can jus 1 86 PINK MARSH see myse f settin in at house eatin chicken ith home gravy betteh n any of iss heah rest ant gravy, too ! Home gravy an sweet potatoes ! My goodness ! I jus lingeh round e table an make trouble faw at kind o eatin , I s pose. I guess I jus hate at home gravy. Um- m-m-m ! It s ba-a-d ! " By this time Pink was talking to him self and wagging his head gravely. The morning customer interrupted the solil oquy, and said "I m afraid you 11 never realize your expectations, unless you stop playing craps." " Some day I 11 get em goin , an I 11 have all e money on e South Side. Yes, seh ; Keep on a-tryin , brotheh, at s jus what Preacheh Fehguson says. You 11 see, misteh. I jus feel at I got money comin to me." The morning customer went away, leav ing Pink cheered and uplifted by the abid ing pleasures of hope. 187 On Doing the Best One Can " He come in here yesterday smokin a big cigar and all dressed up in his best clothes, and said he d quit said he had something better." Mr. Clifford was speaking. The morn ing customer stood in hesitancy, looking at the half-grown colored youth who sat on Pink s stool in the corner, humped above a patent-leather shoe which had the shape of a sword-fish. "You don t know where he went ?" asked the morning customer. " No, and I do n t care. I won t have him around here again. This new boy s all right. He 11 give you a good shine." Mr. Clifford evidently believed that the morning customer had been coming into the place to have his shoes shined! 1 88 PINK MARSH The morning customer murmured a falsehood to the effect that he might "come in later," and then he retreated, before Mr. Clifford could say anything more in favor of the new boy. That was his last visit to the shop. He rather expected to receive a communica tion from Pink, but no postal-card came, and, to tell the truth, after a few days had passed, he gave no further thought to the u lansimous " boy and his quest for a "baby." In a busy town, such as Chicago, ex periences crowd upon one another, and every live man of the morning-customer kind is so intent on making his fortune that he has little time to tilt back and wonder what has become of the friends of yesterday. Within a month after the dis appearance, the season of helpful talks with Pink became ancient history. The morning customer hurried past Mr. Clif ford s shop day after day, without seeing it 189 PINK MARSH or knowing of its existence. He would be whispering to himself the terms of a contract, or squinting through his glasses to see into the plans of those who wanted to keep him away from his fortune. To such a man, buildings fuse into one an other as they slide by in panorama, and pedestrians are so many things to be dodged. The morning customer raced every day. He went to a " parlor " to have his shoes cleaned. Twelve white boys in blue jackets leaned over in a row and worked at high speed. They seldom spoke to the men in the chairs, who re garded one another with fretful suspicion, and turned their morning papers over and over and inside out. It would be satisfying to know that the morning customer often smiled at recol lection of what Pink had told him, and wondered if the boy had saved any money. He had not the time. That is the fact of the matter. He was jumping with 190 PINK MARSH elevators, a hundred feet at an upward leap ; racing to court-rooms, where he messed papers and whispered with hollow- eyed accomplices; and sometimes he went out of town on night trains, so as to avoid the deadly sin of traveling during business hours. One night he boarded a train at a sub urban crossing. The train was bound for Kansas City. In the sleeping-car the berths were " made up." He went along the narrow aisle between the stuffy cur tains to where a porter with a white coat was whispering to some hidden passenger. He nudged the porter from behind. " My goodness, misteh ! " It was Pink. " Any lowers left ? " asked the morning customer, closing his teeth together in the endeavor to keep a serious face. " Well, my goodness, misteh ! Well, seh, it s you, suah ! My goodness ! I m sutny glad to see you once mo . I declaih!" 191 PINK MARSH u I did n t expect to see you, Pink. Have you a lower berth." " Misteh, if I did n have none, I d jus tuhn somebody out an let you have it. My goodness ! Well ! Well ! " "Where s the conductor." " Yes, seh, he s in e cah ahead, seh." " Well, I 11 sit in the smoking-room a while." He went into the smoking compart ment and lighted a cigar. A short man with jewelry and a silk cap had been hold ing the compartment alone. He looked up, as if in annoyance, when the morning customer came in, and then threw away his cigar and rocked away to bed. The morning customer sprawled out on the plush cushion and smoked. He grinned around his cigar, and once or twice he laughed aloud. Presently Pink slipped in and sat on a low stool. He looked steadfastly at the morning customer 192 FANNIE PINK MARSH for many seconds, his eyes rolled sidewise, and then he burst into laughter. u Well, my goodness ! " he said. " You re a real porter, now." " Me an Misteh Pullman s e real boys, suah. No mo settin* round ith em white bahbehs. Huh-uh ! " He paused and looked at the morning customer in blissful silence, and then gave another bellow of laughter, so that he had to restrain himself by putting one hand over his mouth. "What s the matter with you, any way ? " asked the morning customer, leaning forward so as to make himself heard above the pounding of the train. " Misteh, someping happen to me since I seen you." " What was it ? " " Make a guess, misteh," and he was still laughing. " I know, all right. Did you go and do it ? " J93 PINK MARSH " Look out, misteh ! Do n t ask ! Ol Misteh Mahsh mah ied man." The morning customer smiled benevo lently. " Glad to hear it," said he. "What was her name Belle ? " "Who? At Belle Hopkins? No, seh ! Huh-uh ! I did n mah y at guhl." You did n t ? " " Look heah, misteh ! Crep up to at house one night an ketch new cullud boy ith both ahms round at guhl. I jus say, Good-by, my honey! Yes, seh, she lose Misteh Mahsh. Got someping betteh n at Belle. Got lady at had p opehty. Go way ! I s pose I do n know thing ! " " Got property, eh ? " " Yes, seh widow." " A widow ! " u No mo room-rents, misteh. I jus look oveh at Mis White s house an say, c O, I guess iss 11 do me. I had huh lovin me befo she know me two days. I went faw at lady an I landed uh." 194 PINK MARSH u How long have you been married? u Mo an a month." " Is she a young woman? " u She ain t young as some of em otheh babies I had lookin out faw me, but you membeh what I tol you once, misteh? Cake-walks is good, but you can t eat em. You don ketch me stahvin . No, seh! At lady I got ain t so wahm on cloze as some of em, but she sutny fix up a pohk chop at s bad to eat. At love s all right, misteh; but Misteh Mahsh sutny got to have his pohk chops." u Well, are you saving any money? " " Look heah! Fannie takes at money way f om me an jus gives me nough to live on. My goodness, misteh! I sutny got to hold out on Fannie when I play em numbehs." " Have you caught anything yet? " u No, seh; but I come might neah it las week. Got two of em want fawty- eight, an fawty-sevem come." 195 PINK MARSH " What became of the other girl Belle? " " Do n ask me, misteh! She s nothin to me no, seh. Huh an at Lo ena Jackson look heah! I ll have one of em guhls hiahed to wuhk round e house an help Fannie." " I thought you were going to marry Belle." " No, seh, I neveh caih faw at guhl no ways. I done betteh! My goodness, misteh! I s pose I m pooh. Got my own dooh-step to set on, new suit o cloze, joined e lodge. Do n speak to em cheap cullud people no mo . Goin o tuhn in, seh? Jus you put em shoes outside an I 11 give em one of em ol shines like you use to get." The morning customer rolled into a lower berth, and lay between the cool sheets, smiling hard at the upper berth, which Pink had lifted out of the way, in violation of a very strict rule. The morn- 196 PINK MARSH ing customer paid for a lower berth, and owned a section. He was trying to im agine Pink s house the wall-paper, the illuminated curtains, the nickeled stove in the front room, and the picture of Abra ham Lincoln. He heard creeping foot falls just outside his berth, and then a voice, u Good-night, seh." PRINTED AT THE LAKESIDE PRESS FOR HERBERT S. STONE & CO. PUBLISHERS, CHICAGO By the author of PINK MARSH " /\ IV JL 1 JlL I A Story of the Streets and Town. By GEORGE ADE. With many illustrations by John T. McCutcheon. i6mo, $1.25 Ninth thousand. "Mr. Ade shows all the qualities of a successful nov elist." Chicago Tribune. " Artie is a character, and George Ade has limned him deftly, as well as amusingly. Under his rollicking abandon and recklessness we are made to feel the real sense and sensitiveness and the worldly wisdom of a youth whose only language is that of a street-gamin. As a study of the peculiar type chosen, it is both typical and inimitable." Detroit Free Press. " It is brimful of fun and picturesque slang. Nobody will be any the worse for reading about Artie, if he does talk slang. He s a good fellow at heart, and Mamie Carroll is the making of him. He talks good sense and good morality, and these things haven t yet gone out of style, even in Chicago." New York Recorder. " Well - meaning admirers have compared Artie to ~\ Chimmie Fadden, but Mr. Townsend s creation, excellent \ as it is, cannot be said to be entirelv free from exaggera- \ tion. The hand of Chimmie Fadden s maker is to be discerned at times. And just here Artie is particularly / strong he is always Artie, and Mr. Ade is always con- / cealed, and never obtrudes his peisonality." Chicago / Post. " George Ade is a writer, the direct antithesis of \ Stephen Crane. In Artie he has given the world a story \ of the streets at once wholesome, free, and stimulating. ) The world is filled with people like Artie Blanchard and his girl, Mamie Carroll, and the story of their lives, f their hopes, and dreams, and loves, is immeasurably / more wholesome than all the stories like George s Moth- / er that could be written by an army of the writers who / call themselves realists." Editorial, Albany Evening Journal. To be had of all booksellers, or will be sent, post-paid, on receipt of price by the Publishers. (CATALOGUE OF - BOOKS ^ IN - BELLES LETTRES Chicago New York MDCCCXCVII MESSRS. HERBERT S. STONE & COMPANY TAKE PLEASURE IN ANNOUNCING THE FOLLOWING PUBLICATIONS AS IN PREPARA TION: The next novel by Harold Frederic, Author of "The Damnation of Theron Ware." " Dross," a novel by Henry Seton Merriman. Author of " The Sowers," etc. And new books by George Ade, author of " Artie," and Henry M. Blossom, Jr., Author of "Checkers." Further particulars will be given later. LONDON OFFICE: 10 NORFOLK. ST., STRAND. CABLE ADDRESSES : " CHAPBOOK, CHICAGO." " CHAPBOOK, NEW YORK." " EDITORSHIP, LONDON." March, mdcccxcvii THE PUBLICATIONS OF HERBERT S. STONE & CO. THE CHAP-BOOK CAXTON BUILDING, CHICAGO in FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK Ade, George. ARTIE: A Story of the Streets and of the Town. With many pictures by JOHN T. McCuTCHEON. i6mo. $1.25. Ninth thousand. "Mr. Ade shows all the qualities of a successful novelist." Chicago Tribune. " Artie is a character, and George Ade has limned him deftly as well as amusingly. Under his rollicking abandon and recklessness we are made to feel the real sense and sensitiveness, and the worldly wisdom of a youth whose only lan guage is that of a street-gamin. As a study of the peculiar type chosen, it is both typical and inimi table." Detroit Free Press. "It is brimful of fun and picturesque slang. Nobody will be any the worse for reading about Artie, if he does talk slang. He s a good fellow at heart, and Mamie Carroll is the making of him. He talks good sense and good morality, and these things have n t yet gone out of style, even in Chicago." Ne-vu Tork Recorder. "Well-meaning admirers have compared Artie to Chimmie Fadden, but Mr. Townsend s creation, excellent as it is, cannot be said to be entirely free from exaggeration. The hand of Chimmie Fad- den s maker is to be discerned at times. And just here Artie is particularly strong he is always Artie, and Mr. Ade is always concealed, and never obtrudes his personality." Chicago Post. "George Ade is a writer, the direct antithesis of Stephen Crane. In Artie he has given the world a story of the streets at once wholesome, free, and stimulating. The world is filled with people like Artie Blanchard and his girl, Mamie Carroll, and the story of their lives, their hopes, and dreams, and loves, is immeasurably more whole some than all the stories like George s Mother that could be written by an army of the writers who call themselves realists." Editorial Albany Evening" Journal. Benham, Charles. THE FOURTH NAPOLEON: A Romance. i2mo. $1.50. An accurate account of the history of the Fourth Napoleon, the coup d etat which places him on the throne of France, the war with Germany, and his love intrigues as emperor. A vivid picture of contemporary politics in Paris. Blossom, Henry M., Jr. CHECKERS : A Hard-Luck Story. By the author of" The Documents in Evi dence." i6mo. $1.25. Seventh edition. 11 Abounds in the most racy and picturesque slang." New York Recorder. "Checkers is an interesting and entertaining chap, a distinct type, with a separate tongue and a way of saying things that is oddly humorous." Chicago Record. tf If I had to ride from New York to Chicago on a slow train, I should like a half-dozen books as gladsome as Checkers, and I could laugh at the trip." New York Commercial Advertiser. " Checkers himself is as distinct a creation as Chimmie Fadden, and his racy slang expresses a livelier wit. The racing part is clever reporting, and as horsey and up to date as any one could ask. The slang of the racecourse is caught with skill and is vivid and picturesque, and students of the byways of language may find some new gems of colloquial speech to add to their lexicons." Springfield Republican. Chap-Book Essays. A VOLUME OF REPRINTS FROM THE CHAP-BOOK. Contributions by T. W. HIGGINSON, H. W. MABIE, LOUISE CHANDLER MOULTON, H. H. BOYE- SEN, EDMUND GOSSE, JOHN BURROUGHS, NORMAN HAPGOOD, MRS. REGINALD DE KOVEN, LOUISE IMOGEN GUINEY, LEWIS E. GATES, ALICE MORSE EARLE, LAURENCE JERROLD, RICHARD HENRY STODDARD, EVE BLANTYRE SIMPSON, and MAURICE THOMPSON, with a cover designed by A. E. BORIE. i6mo. $1.25. Chap-Book Stories. A VOLUME OF REPRINTS FROM THE CHAP-BOOK. Contributions by OCTAVE THANET, GRACE ELLERY CHANNING, MARIA LOUISE POOL, and Others. i6mo. $1.25. Second editlo n . The authors of this volume are all American. Besides the well-known names, there are some which were seen in the CHAP-BOOK for the first time. The volume is bound in an entirely new and startling fashion. Chatfield-Taylor, H. C. THE LAND OF THE CASTANET: Span ish Sketches, with twenty -five full-page illustrations. I2mo. $1.25. "Gives the reader an insight into the life of Spain at the present time which he cannot get elsewhere." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. "Mr. Chatfield-Taylor s word-painting of special events the bull-fight, for instance is vivid and well-colored. He gets at the national character very well indeed, and we feel that we know our Spain better by reason of his handsome little book." Boston Traveler. " He writes pleasantly and impartially, and very fairly sums up the Spanish character. . . . Mr. Taylor s book is well illustrated, and is more read- able than the reminiscences of the average globe trotter." New Tork Sun. D Annunzio, Gabriele. EPISCOPO AND COMPANY. Translated by Myrta Leonora Jones. i6mo. $1.25. Second edition. Gabriele d Annunzio is the best-known and most gifted of modern Italian novelists. His work is making a great sensation at present in all lite rary circles. The translation now offered gives the first opportunity English-speaking readers have had to know him in their own language. De Fontenoy, The Marquise. EVE S GLOSSARY. By the author of "ghieer Sprigs of Gentility " with decorations in two colors by FRANK HAZENPLUG. fto. Nearly ready. An amusing volume of gossip and advice for gentlewomen. It treats of health, costume, and entertainments; exemplifies by reference to noted beauties of England and the Continent; and is embellished with decorative borders of great charm. Earle, Alice Morse. CURIOUS PUNISHMENTS OF BYGONE DAYS, with twelve quaint pictures and a cover design by FRANK HAZENPLUG. I2mo. $1.50. " In this dainty little volume, Alice Morse Earle has done a real service, not only to present read ers, but to future students of bygone customs. To come upon all the information that is here put into readable shape, one would be obliged to search 7 through many ancient and cumbrous records." Boston Transcript. " Mrs. Alice Morse Earle has made a diverting and edifying book in her Curious Punishments of Bygone Days, which is published in a style of quaintness befitting the theme." New " York Tribune "This light and entertaining volume is the most recent of Mrs. Earle s popular antiquarian sketches, and will not fail to amuse and mildly instruct readers who love to recall the grim furnishings and habits of previous centuries, without too much serious consideration of the root from which they sprang, the circumstances in which they flour ished, or the uses they served." The Independent. Hichens, Robert. FLAMES : A novel. By the author of "A Green Carnation" "An Imaginative Man? "The Folly of Eustace^ etc., with a cover-design by F. R. KlMBROUGH. I2mo. $1.50. Mr. Hichens s reputation has steadily increased since the brilliant success of " A Green Carna tion" first gave him prominence. His latest work is longer and more important than anything he has done before. James, Henry. WHAT MAISIE KNEW: A novel. i2mo. (In preparation^ Upon its completion in the CHAP-BOOK, Mr. Henry James s latest novel will be issued in book- form. Its publication cannot fail to be an event 8 of no slight literary importance, and will be worthy the attention of all persons interested in English and American letters. Kinross, Albert. THE FEARSOME ISLAND ; Being a mod ern rendering of the narrative of one Silas Fordred, Master Mariner of Hythe, whose shipwreck and subsequent adventures are herein set forth. Also an appendix, accounting in a rational manner for the seeming marvels that Silas Fordred en countered during his sojourn on the fearsome island of Don Diego Rodriguez. With a cover designed hy FRANK HAZENPLUG. i6mo. $1.25. Le Gallienne, Richard. PROSE FANCIES : Second series. By the author of " The Book-Bills of Narcissus," "The Quest of the Golden <?/>/," etc. With a cover designed by FRANK HAZEN PLUG. i6mo. $12.5. Second edition. "In these days of Beardsley pictures and deca dent novels, it is good to find a book as sweet, as pure, as delicate as Mr. Le Gallienne s." New Orleans Picayune. " Prose Fancies ought to be in every one s summer library, for it is just the kind of a book one loves to take to some secluded spot to read and dream over." Kansas City Times. " There are witty bits of sayings by the score, and sometimes whole paragraphs of nothing but wit. Somewhere there is a little skit about Scot land, the country that takes its name from the whisky made there ; and the transposed proverbs, like It is an ill wind for the shorn lamb, and Many rise on the stepping-stones of their dead relations, are brilliant. Most of us would never be heard of were it not for our enemies, is a cap ital epigram." Chicago Times-Herald. " Mr. Le Gallienne is first of all a poet, and these little essays, which savor somewhat of Lamb, of Montaigne, of Lang, and of Birrell, are larded with verse of exquisite grace. He rarely ventures into the grotesque, but his fancy follows fair paths; a certain quaintness of expression and the idyllic atmosphere of the book charm one at the beginning and carry one through the nineteen 1 fancies that comprise the volume." Chicago Record. Magruder, Julia. Miss AYR OF VIRGINIA, AND OTHER STORIES. By the author of "The Princess Sonia? "The Violet? etc. With a cover-design by F. R. KIMBROUGH. i6mo. $1-25. " By means of original incident and keen por traiture, Miss Ayr of Virginia, and Other Stories, is made a decidedly readable collection. In the initial tale the character of the young Southern girl is especially well drawn; Miss Magruder s most artistic work, however, is found at the end of the volume, under the title Once More. " The Outlook. " The contents of * Miss Ayr of Virginia are not 10 less fascinating than the cover. . . . These tales . . . are a delightful diversion for a spare hour. They are dreamy without being can didly realistic, and are absolutely refreshing in the simplicity of the author s stvle." Boston Herald. "Julia Magruder s stories are so good that one feels like reading passages here and there again and again. In the collection, Miss Ayr of Vir ginia, and Other Stories, she is at her best, and Miss Ayr of Virginia, has all the daintiness, the point and pith and charm which the author so well commands. The portraiture of a sweet, un sophisticated, pretty, smart Southern girl is be witching. Min neapolis Times. Malet, Lucas. THE CARISSIMA: A modern grotesque. By the author of " The Wages of Sin" etc. I2mo. $1.50. Second edition. *^* This is the first novel which Lucas Malet has written since "The Wages of Sin." "The strongest piece of fiction written during the year, barring only the masters, Meredith and Thomas Hardy." Kansas City Star. "There are no dull pages in " The Carissima,"no perfunctory people. Every character that goes in and out on the mimic stage is fully rounded, and the central one provokes curiosity, like those of that Sphinx among novelists, Mr. Henry James. Lucas Malet has caught the very trick of James s manner, and the likeness presses more than once." Milwaukee Sentinel. "The interest throughout the story is intense and perfectly sustained. The character-drawing is as good as it can be. The Carissima, her father, ii and a journalistic admirer are, in particular, abso lute triumphs. The book is wonderfully witty, and has touches of genuine pathos, more than two and more than three. It is much better than any thing else we have seen from the same hand." Pall Mall Gazette. "Lucas Malet has insight, strength, the gift of satire, and a captivating brilliance of touch; in short, a literary equipment such as not too many present-day novelists are possessed of." London Daily Mail. "We cannot think of readers as skipping a line or failing to admire the workmanship, or to be deeply interested, both in the characters and the plot. Carissima is likely to add to the reputa tion of the author of The Wages of Sin. " Glas gow Herald. Moore, F. Frankfort. THE IMPUDENT COMEDIAN AND OTHERS. Illustrated. I2mo. $1.50. Several of the stories have appeared in the CHAP-BOOK; others are now published for the first time. They all relate to seventeenth and eighteenth century characters NellGwynn, Kitty Clive, Oliver Goldsmith, Dr. Johnson, and David Garrick. They are bright, witty, and dramatic. THE JESSAMY BRIDE : A Novel. By the author of "The Impudent Comedian." I2mo. $1.50. A novel of great interest, introducing as its chief characters Goldsmith, Johnson, Garrick, Sir Joshua Reynolds and others. It is really a com panion volume to "The Impudent Comedian," 12 Morrison, Arthur. A CHILD OF THE JAGO. By the author of " Tales of Mean Streets." I2mo. $1.50. Second edition . * # *This, the first long story which Mr. Morrison has written, is, like his remarkable "Tales of Mean Streets," a realistic study of East End life. "The power and art of the book are beyond question." Hartford Courant. " It is one of the most notable books of the year." Chicago Daily News. " A Child of the Jago will prove one of the immediate and great successes of the season." Boston Times. " Since Daniel Defoe, no such consummate master of realistic fiction has arisen among us as Mr. Arthur Morrison. Hardly any praise could be too much for the imaginative power and artis tic perfection and beauty of this picture of the de praved and loathsome phases of human life. There is all of Defoe s fidelity of realistic detail, suffused with the light and warmth of a genius higher and purer than Defoe s." Scotsman. "It more than fulfills the promise of Tales of Mean Streets it makes you confident that Mr. Morrison has yet better work to do. The power displayed is magnificent, and the episode of the murder of Weech, fence and nark, and of the capture and trial of his murderer, is one that stamps itself upon the memory as a thing done once and for all. Perrott in the dock, or as he awaits the executioner, is a fit companion of Fagin condemned. The book cannot but confirm the admirers of Mr. Morrison s remarkable talent in the opinions they formed on reading Tales of Mean Streets. "Black and White. "Mr. Morrison has achieved an astonishing suc cess. Take it as a whole, as a picture of a phase of life, and you must admit that it is a masterly achievement a triumph of art. It is a distinct advance upon his earlier book, Tales of Mean Streets, because, it seems to us, it is truer, more convincing, less dispiriting. The biggest thing in the book is the description of him after the murder, and when he is on trial. It is a wonder ful bit of psychology; done so simply, and appar ently without any eye to effect, but overpower- ingly convincing. The book is a masterpiece." Pall Mall Gazette. Pool, Maria Louise. IN BUNCOMBE COUNTY. i6mo. $1.25. Second edition. " In Buncombe County is bubbling over with merriment one could not be blue with such a companion for an hour." Boston Times. " Maria Louise Pool is a joy forever, principally because she so nobly disproves the lurking theory that women are born destitute of humor. Hers is not acquired; it is the real thing. In Buncombe County is perfect with its quiet appreciation of the humorous side of the every-day affairs of life." Chicago Daily Neivs. " It is brimming over with humor, and the reader who can follow the fortunes of the redbird alone, who flutters through the first few chapters, and not be moved to long laughter, must be sadly insensitive. But laugh as he may, he will always revert to the graver vein which unobtrusively runs from the first to the last page in the book. He will lay down the narrative of almost gro tesque adventure with a keen remembrance of its tenderness and pathos." Neiv Tork Tribune. Pritchard, Martin J. WITHOUT SIN : A novel. I2mo. $1.50. Third edition. * J(t *The New York Journal gave a half-page re view of the book and proclaimed it " the most startling novel jet." "Abounds in situations of thrilling interest. A unique and daring book." Review of Reviews (London). "One is hardly likely to go far wrong in pre dicting that Without Sin will attract abundant notice. Too much can scarcely be said in praise of Mr. Pritchard s treatment of his subject." Academy. " The very ingenious way in which improbable incidents are made to appear natural, the ingenious manner in which the story is sustained to the end, the undoubted fascination of the writing, and the convincing charm of the principal characters, are just what make this novel so deeply dangerous while so intensely interesting." The World (London). Raimond, C, E. THE FATAL GIFT OF BEAUTY, AND OTHER STORIES. By the Author of " George Mandeville s Husband" etc. l6mo. $1.25. A book of stories which will not quickly be sur passed for real humor, skillful characterization and splendid entertainment. "The Confessions of a Cruel Mistress " is a masterpiece, and the "Portman Memoirs" are exceptionally clever. 14 DAY USE RETURN TO DESK FROM WHICH BORROWED LOAN DEPT. This book is due on the last date stamped below, or on the date to which renewed. Renewed books are subject to immediate recall. REC D LD AUGl5 64-5PM IN /U/G 319ft; YB 72894 mmmi