? 959 UC-NRLF III I lilll B 3 335 726 Q£ i*!AH«!J3 THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA PRESENTED BY PROF. CHARLES A. KOFOID AND MRS. PRUDENCE W. KOFOID GAYLAMOUNT PAMPHLET BINDER ^3) ^ / i "YANKEES ALL" "PLEASE EXCUS-A ME' AND OTHER VERSE BY DAMACAULIE ALTTHOR OF 'Why I Hate You, Kaiser Bill* COPYRIGHT By D. A.^lac^ullay 1919 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Noveitv Adyertising Co., Seattle Gift of C. A. Kofoid q5^ Alllfc IXTRODUCTIOX To THE Public. — The surprising siiceces of my tlrsr aUcmpt as a "Vrriter of Books" lias given m^^ courage to make another effort, and, be it good or be it bad. if it oorns tbe ey^s of liouie, brings the happy smile to others, or arouses a little more interest in the brotherhood of man I will consider it a success. The dominant idea that I wish to convey is the fact that no one was ever asked, be fori; he eam\ what country he wanted to be born in, and accident of birth should never make us point the finger of scorn at any one. I noticed that when the boys came bark, that the troops that marched through Tacoma were made up of all nation- alities and colors, all Yankees, and all proud of it. In my first book, "Why I Hate You, Kaiser Bill," I had one piece that fits this one so well that I am repeating it here, and, while on the subject of my first book I want to say that if it were not for the kindness of Harry Hall, my superintendent at the shipyard, A. M. Bendetson of Aber- deen, Frank May, at the Cass Cigar Store, Aberdeen, and MacKKee, with the Matteson Jewelry Co., I would not have been able to print my book (you see I have been too M ivi337955 m- ■m busy all my life to make money), and I now take the oppor- tunity to express my thanks and gratitude. For the publishing of this volume I have to thank Mr. Will H. Smith, the Seattle cartoonist, and my sister, wife of Q.M. Sergeant Leonard Badella, at Camp Lewis. You see I am like one of the characters in one of my jingles: "If you count success by doing things, Tim, I've succeeded well, I you count success by dollars. I'm a failure, sure as H — ir The poem, "Please Excuse-a Me," is a true story of the war, told by a captain who had been wounded and saved as described. The conversation with the colored soldier occurred at Camp Lewis, the colored boy had been wounded seven times and had received a medal from three nations for bravery in action. Again thanking the public for the generous applause of my first effort, I remain, till we meet again. Very truly yours, Damacauije, YANKEES ALL THE IRISH There's a warm spot in my heart for dear old Ireland. I would like to see her free from England's thrall; I would like to see her be, A land of liberty— But Yankee land I love the best of all, THE HIGHLANDER I dearly lo'e auld Scotia's hills. It's bonnie purple heather, Where Miles I roamed in childhood's days, In stormy and fine weather. Now muckle chances hae I had, To find a land to please me. And from auld Britain's wjiys and laws, My oath it did release me. I bound myself to Uncle Sam, Wiih oath, for I respect him, And now I'll gladly fight and fa' In elTorts to protect hini. B' THE LATIN-AMERICAN Whenever soildier-boy you want, You call on us you find him; And every one you send to war. The bunch is right behind him, AVe fight for our own Uncle Sam, To help hira we are willing, If some one try to kill him off, They find us at the killing. THE GERMAN I left dot lant and came to dis. To make a bedder liffing, Und now I do the best I can, Vv'hen efCery one iss gifling, 1 go und help dot soldier boys To fight for Yankee Eagle, I like dot dumpkoof Kaiser not — My name iss Heinrich Spcigle. THE NATIVE BORN AVe are sons of Uncle Sam, And we do not care a damn, We can run and dance and fight And shoot and ride. AVc are willing for the fray, Bo it fight or work or play. You will find us in the conflict Side by side. a We Nvill give a helping hand, To distress in any land, All we want is one square deal — From man and God. Let some autocratic pup Undertake to stir us up — He will find some fighting devils on the prod. ALL TOGf:THER Uncle gaze on us and smile, "We are with you all the while. No matter what our color — Race or birth : We will crush the traitor here. Other nations far and near. Will respect us in all corners— Of the earth. Do you want some one to work ? We our duty do not shirk, We produce the thing's you need- From year to year. Do you want an army grand. In this or foreign land ? If you want us, sound your bugle. Vv'e'll be here. 33- THE REASON I DID IT The bothering thought to my mind comes stealing. As I sit alone at the close of the day, It comes in rhyme, so in rhyme I write it. And plain and clear it seems to say: "Why take such pride in the work you're doing? Why have such pride for the things you've done? Why say, 'Look there, it was I that did it'? And look at the thing 7 have just begun." "Don't you know, hy yourself you could not accomplish A single thing that you try to dof Don't you know, that the world has been working for ages. To produce an incompetent thing like you?" You are using the thoughts of bygone ages; As well as the thoughts of the folks today; For all that you meet are fools and sages, "The same as yourself, in a dijjerent ivay." "You attune your mind by careful study, You seldom think, when you think you do; That thought was in space for countless ages, Your mind was attuned, and it came to you." The Creator gave you a mind and body, A will to do and a soul to dare; A world of people around to teach you, And Nature's garden of flowers fair." -a He gave you a heart to beat in sorrow. For a neighbor's grief; or to beat for joy With the mother's smile, or the children's laughter; And a conscience that wrong will ever annoy.' "You ask who I am? Well then I'll tell you; I'm the talent he gave you to use through life. Now I'm impatient — I've been neglected, "WTiile you were mixed in the world's mad strife.' '•Your heart and mind are full of sorrow For the world-wide grief and humanity's pain; Then take up your pen and write, man, write it. Don't sit and weep for the raped and slain." 1 will give you loords, but you'll have to use them, When I give you a thought do not lay it aside, But write it, get busy, and teach it and preach it. And scatter it out o'er the world so wide." So blame me not for the things I'm writing, Nor praise too much if the thoughts are good. Just thank the power that gave the talent, And know I did it the best I could. DO IT NOW Would you buy some sweet flowers to lay ou my coffin? Then, instead, take the money that for them you'd pay And give to the poor suffering people around here, 'Twould please me far better than any bouquet. Would you say some kind word for the one that's departed? And praises of virtue heap on my poor head, Then give me my full mead of praise while I'm living I don't care a damn what you do when I'm dead. Raise no bright marble shaft to show folks where I'm lying In some quiet nook place me under the sod, And there I will lie in my grave well contented, My body with nature, my soul with it's God. Do not pray for my soul. I have lived as I listed, I knew right from v.roiia:, and I went my own way. You can't change one line of God's laAv of transgression, No matter how much or how little you pray. m PLEASE EXCUS-A ME ■m While but a lad, and walkiixg out. I met a newsboy there. He'd smiling eyes and swarthy skin And black and curly hair. I said, "You Wop, a paper quick." "I not a Wop," said he, ••I Yankee boy, the same as you, So please txcuse a mo." I bought his papers every day Till I a man became. And Joe, from chubby newsboy grew To manhood's rugged frame. One day I saw Joe standing straight, A cop was by his side, A mob around them on the street, I joined its surging tide. Then asked the cop, "What made you fight? That's what I want to know." "That fella call-a me Wop," Said smiling newsboy Joe. "Nobody ask me when I'm born, On which side of the sea; So I can't help it where I'm born, So please escus-a me." ffi- I told the cop, "Please let him go, I know he's square and true." Joe said, "You're kind, I thank you, sir. Some day I pay-a you." The country called, I volunteered As Captain of some men, And newsboy Joe, a raw recruit, I met him, now and then. "Hello! You, Joe. You're here," 1 said, "I'm glad to see you came." Then answered Joe (it made me stand And hang my head in shame), "In Yankee land they brought me up. And made a man of me; So now I fight for Uncle Sam, So please excus-a me." They called him Wop, but learned in time. That he was Tiiayi clear through; And with his hands, in many a bout. He taught them lessons, too. When he had won he stood and smiled; "I Yankee boy," said he. Nobody call-a me a Wop, So please exeus-a me.^ 12 We charged the Germaus on the run, We gained our point, and then — Ten thousand fighting devils came Anr fought our worn out men: The bugle sounded the recall, A bullet laid me low, I looked and standing by my side Was smiling newsboy Joe. "Why don't you go? You heard the calL' "You're wounded, sir," said he, "I guess I take-a you to camp, So please excus-a me." He picked me up and started out, Across that seething hell; With straining lungs, and sobbing breath, And once, he stumbling, fell. He 'rose again and started on; "I cannot help," said he, "Be'(iuse-a something hit my breast ^ So please excus-a me." '%. 1^^ ^A ""^^^p ^Wi ■J G9- JoG fainting fell; they took him up With gentle, loving care. Next day, in cot across from mine, I saw him lying there. He met my glance, his pale lips smiled. "We made it, sir," said he, "My wound, he got your clothes all blood, But please excus-a me. For weeks the fight with death went on. At length death Tanquished, fled; And Joe, a haggard, tottering ghost. Out in the air was led. Joe soon grew strong, and I was well, And then the war was o'er; Joe cheered the loudest of us all When 'rose th« Yankee shore. "Shut up, you wop," a soldier said, Joe swinging laid him low, The man, an officer of rank. Struck down by newsboy Joe. "My God," I cried, ''what hiive you done?'^ "I cannot help," said he, "That fella eall-a me a wop, So please excus-a me." I told this officer the tale Of what our Joe had done. He smiled and answered, ''Setid him here. The nervy san-of-a-gun:* Joe came. They stood there face to face. The Major gave a sigh And said, "I got it from a man. I'm proud of that black eye." "You've broken rules, but I'm the blame. No charges will I bring; I broke them, too, in calling names. (You've got an awful swing.) You did just right, I find no fault, Will you shake hand^r said he. '7 will, Vm Yankee same as you. So please excus-a me.'* Now, if you're walking on the street. And see a newsboy there. If I'm around, just take my tip And always treat him fair. And if you call him slurring names, Take my advice and stop. Unless you want to figM like hell. Don't call that hoy a wop. fi "MY CHURCH^ Why should I go to a dismal dwelling, Vv'here a cheerful smile must never strar, To hear of the tortures that God gives sinners. And the terrible things of the Judgment Day? When all outside is God's own dwelling. He needs no artist to paint his walls. Needs no mechanics to groin his arches, He needs no tapestries in his halls. He needs no organ to peel an anthem. Nor priest nor preacher to kneel in prayer, For the word and the look, and the act of kindness And the deed of Love are to Him more fair. You may preach of your book, called the Holy Bible, Your Word of God, your book divine, It was penned in the tongue of a foreign people And then translated into mine. God wrote no Greek when he published Xaturc. He knew no "isms" and knew no creed, Tliis Word of God needs no translation. He has printed it plain, that all may read. For in every field where flowers are blooming, Where the grass is green and the sun shines bright When the thunders crash and the lightning flashes, You see God's beauty and strength and might. 16 -m When you have broken the laws of Nature, You've offended God in his holy hall, And you pay the price for your selseless folly Nor need you wait for the trumpet call. If I were as pure as a spotless virgin, Where never a thought of vice did stray, And went to Heaven to gain admittance And knew not Christ I'd be turned away. But if I were as black as Satan is painted. And had steeped myself in vice and sin, If you asked me the price, and I said Christ paid it, I could kneel in prayer and Heaven Vv-in. Is this the creed you teach your children? Oh, better far if they run and play, In the woods and fields and the blessed meadows, Where they meet God face to face each day. Not the terrible God you preach in churches. The God of venegance, to fear and dread, But the pure and holy God of Nature, Who gives us freely our daily bread. So I refuse to accept your teachings, I'll take the teachings of Nature's plan, I'll try my best, as far as I'm able. To do my duty and act the man. B ■m I need no organ to sing God's praises, Nor priest or preacher his truth to tell, I'll help distress where e'er I find it And take my chances on Heaven and Hell. We were placed on earth to help each other, With deeds and words of love and cheer, If we do this, as Nature tells us, The Hell that they preach we need not fear. If we are true and our minds untrammeled, By forms and creeds and vicious strife, We may live our days, by Nature numbered. And go in peace to eternal life. !8 Q- WHAT MOSEE SAID Hello! Mose- I wish you would tell me How you felt in the battle's wild roar, Of brave acts of heroes around you. With men going down by the score, "Well, boss, I sure caint tell you nothin', Nothin' 'cept when we went back to rest. How we cussed at de mud and de cooties, I remembers dat part of it best." But, Mose, you are wearing a medal, You must have been brave over there, Of the charging, and fighting and rescue. You must have done all of your share. "Well, yes, dats what all the folks tell me, I done did some t'lngs over dare, But I was so gol hammered busy, I oain't tell wh