^(&«i!(<«M.-4j»r«to9taiur California gional cility /^^ CBESTERFIELDJ foWs^on. w Selections New York Dodge "Publishing Company 33d Street, EIGHTH AVE., 34th Street Copyrig-ht, 1900 By H. M. CALDWELL CO. Prefatory Remarks pHlLIP DORMER STANHOPE, Earl of Chesterfield, 1694-1773, has had the fate of being generally mis- understood. Doctor Johnson, then Mr., a poor scholar but in the prime of life, seems to have mistaken a delay in an interview, and to have abused his lord- ship very soundly ever afterward, although on Chesterfield's side there was not wanting a most gracious move- ment toward reconciliation where no offence had been given. To this mis- conception we owe one of the finest and manliest letters ever written ; but we cannot overlook the blunder. 2032307 Prefatory Remarks After this, too, came the condem- nation of the celebrated letters, — a savage epigram, only partially true, and redeemed by a more favourable criticism. If Mr. Dickens painted — as it has been said he did — Sir John Chester from Lord Chesterfield, he equally mistook the man ; and we are sorry to add to this list of those who have followed Johnson's lead, Mrs. Oliphant, in her recent admirable " His- torical Sketches." The simple truth is, that men are to be judged by the places, temper of the times, nay, even the very atmosphere which surrounds them, — and Chester- field lived in a lax, immoral time, when a mistress was as well recognised in polite society as a concubine was in the days of King David. The Cupidon 4 Prefatory Remarks v=vr d'echain'e at The Hague, a beautiful young lady, a governess or dame de compagn'ie^ set her wits against his, and suffered the usual penalty ; she fell, and this son to whom these letters are written was the result. But if Chesterfield was not a Christian gentleman, he was in some sense a gentleman ; Mademoi- selle, or, as she was called, Madame de Bouchet, was always treated with dis- tinguished politeness, and when he died he left her a legacy as some slight recompense for the injury he had done her. He married a lady of blood royal, though crossed by a bar sinister [daughter of George I. and the Duch- ess of Kendal], and this lady grew very fond of his son Philip and respectfully greeted the mother ; and for this son more than a thousand letters attest the 5 Prefatory Remarks father's affection ; he is placed under the care of an excellent clergyman, he is urged to pay the greatest attention to his mother, to his tutor, to his morals, to his upright, straightforward behaviour, to his honesty. " I don't speak of religion," writes his father, '' I am not in a position to do so ; the excellent Mr. Harte will do that." We don't defend Chesterfield's faults, but we must speak for his virtues. Not one father in ten thousand, in those days, was so good, so tender, and so wise ; his son grew up to marry a lady of whom his father knew nothing till a widow and two children came as suppliants, in that splendid room in Chesterfield House where the old earl sate in lonely greatness. He forgave the dead son's offence, and behaved 6 Prefatory Remarks ^ most generoLisly to the children, two boys, whom he educated. A4rs. Eugenia Stanhope, the widow of the recipient of these letters, sold them, enhanced in value from the earPs literary reputation, for ;!^i,500 ! an immense sum in those days. From the two quartos of large margin and printing, this compact volume is con- densed. All that has been left out are lessons in Greek and Roman history, mythology, German history, and such matters as might be written to a child. Thence, even, if a sentence occurs worth preserving, it has been picked out. Let us not forget that the Earl of Chesterfield — who writes much as did Mr. Thackeray in his letter to Brown the Younger — tells his son that he always frequented the company 7 rrt Prefatory Remarks of his superiors \ and his superiors he reckoned not only by their rank. " Doctor Swift and Mr. Pope," he says, " condescended to admit me into their company, and, though they had no titles, and I was an earl, I always felt that I was obliged by their politeness, and was favoured by being allowed to converse with them." Are there many noblemen who would say so nowa- days ? No, nor many Popes nor Swifts, — nor, let us add, Chesterfields. Mr. Stanhope has also been very much misrepresented. He has been called a cub, a bear, and an awkward lout. Actually, he was a learned, skil- ful diplomatist, for which profession, be it remembered, his father specially educated him. He was a manly, stout- built Englishman, not a dancing-master, Prefatory Remarks ^ and to lack grace was his only fault. Subjective and brilliant writers of his- tory have polished Mr. Stanhope with a black-lead brush to suit their pur- poses, but these brilliant fellows are, as usual, false. James Boswell, the biographer, who knew him, says truly enough, " Mr. Stanhope's character has been unjustly represented as being diametrically opposite to what Lord Chesterfield wished him to be. He has been called dull, gross, and awk- ward ; but I knew him at Dresden, when he was envoy to that court, and though he could not boast of the graces, he was, in fact, a sensible, civil, well- behaved man." Other persons, and more than one lady in these pages, speak much more highly than Boswell does of him. Selections from Lord Chesterfield's Letters The Art of Speaking. — You cannot but be convinced that a man who speaks and writes with elegance and grace ; who makes choice of good words ; and adorns and embellishes the subject upon which he either speaks or writes, will persuade better, and succeed more easily in obtaining what he wishes, than a man who does not explain himself clearly ; speaks his language ill ; or makes use of low and vulgar expressions ; and who has neither grace nor elegance in anything ^ Selections that he says. Now it is by rhetoric that the art of speaking eloquently is taught : and, though I cannot think of grounding you in it as yet, I would wish, however, to give you an idea of it suitable to your age.' The first thing you should attend to is to speak whatever language you do speak, in its greatest purity, and ac- cording to the rules of grammar j for we must never offend against grammar, nor make use of words which are not really words. This is not all ; for not to speak ill, is not sufficient ; we must ' In a previous letter, which has been lost, Chesterfield has been teaching rhetoric to a boy of about seven years old, for, referring to it, he says : '* En verite je crois que vous etes le pre- mier gar9on a qui, avant Vdge de knit ans, on ait jamais parle des figures de la rhetorique, comme j'ai fait dans ma derniere." 12 Lord Chesterfield's Letters •># speak well j and the best method of attaining to that is to read the best authors with attention ; and to observe how people of fashion speak, and those who express themselves best ; for shop- keepers, common people, footmen, and maid servants, all speak ill. [Bath^ Oct. 17, 1739.] Oratory. — The business of ora- tory is to persuade people ; and you easily feel that to please people is a great step toward persuading them. You must, then, consequently be sen- sible how advantageous it is for a man who speaks in public, whether it be in Parliament, in the pulpit, or at the bar (that is, in the courts of law), to please his hearers so much as to gain their attention : which he can never do with- out the help of oratory. It is not 13 ^ Seiectioris enough to speak the language he speaks in its utmost purity, and according to the rules of grammar j but he must speak it elegantly ; that is, he must choose the best and most expressive words, and put them in the best order. He should likewise adorn what he says by proper metaphors, similes, and other figures of rhetoric ; and he should enliven it, if he can, by quick and sprightly turns of wit. [November^ I739-] The Folly of Ignorance. — An ignorant man is insignificant and con- temptible ; nobody cares for his com- pany, and he can just be said to live, and that is all. There is a very pretty French epigram upon the death of such an ignorant, insignificant fellow, the sting of which is that all that can be 14 "Lord Chesterfield's Letters t=vr said of him is that he was once alive, and that he is now dead. This is the epigram, which you may get by heart : " Colas est mort de maladie, Tu veux que j'en pleure le sort, Que diable veux-tu que j'en dis? Colas vivoit, Colas est mort." Take care not to deserve the name of Colas ; ' which I shall certainly give you, if you do not learn well. [No date.] The Reward of Virtue. — If a virtuous man be ever so poor or un- fortunate in the world, still his virtue is his own reward and will comfort him under his afflictions. The quiet and * We learn by a subsequent reference that the little fellow wished not to be called Colas, but Polyglot, from knowing already three oi four languages. IS ^ Selections satisfaction of his conscience make him cheerful by day and sleep sound of nights ; he can be alone with pleas- ure and is not afraid of his own thoughts. Besides this, he is esteemed and respected ; for even the most wicked people themselves cannot help admiring and respecting virtue in others. A poet says : " Ipsa quidem virtus, sibimet pulcherrima merces." * Politeness a Necessity. — Know, then, that as learning, honour, and * So also Home: " Amen i and virtue is its own reward." — Douglas, Act iii. Sc. i. And Claudian, quoted by Chesterfield, " Ipsa quidem virtus pretium sibi, solaque late Fortunae secura nitet," etc. i6 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ virtue are absolutely necessary to gain you the esteem and admiration of man- kind, politeness and good breeding are equally necessary, to make you wel- come and agreeable in conversation, and common life. Great talents, such as honour, virtue, learning, and parts, are above the generality of the w^orld j who neither possess them themselves, nor judge of them rightly in others : but all people are judges of the lesser talents, such as civility, affability, and an obliging, agreeable address and manner ; because they feel the good effects of them, as making society easy and pleasing. Youthful Emulation. — This is the last letter I shall write to you as to a little boy j for, to-morrow, if I am not mistaken, you will attain your 17 ^ Selections ninth year ; so that for the future, I shall treat you as 2. youth. You must now commence a different course of life, a different course of studies. No more levity ; childish toys and play- things must be thrown aside, and your mind directed to serious objects. What was not unbecoming of a child would be disgraceful to a youth. Wherefore, endeavour, with all your might, to show a suitable change ; and, by learning, good manners, politeness, and other accomplishments, to surpass those youths of your own age, whom hitherto you have surpassed when boys.' May the Almighty preserve ^ Written in Latin. Philippus Chesterfield, Fhilippo Stanhope adhiic ftierido, sed eras e p7ieritid egressuro. S. D. Dated, Kalend, Mali, 1741. Lord Chesterfield's Letters Hf you and bestow on you his choicest blessings. Manner — Absence — Awkward- ness — Attention. — However tri- fling a genteel manner may sound, it is of very great consequence toward pleasing in private life, especially the women ; which (i'/V), onetime or other, you will think worth pleasing : and I have known many a man, from his awkwardness, give people such a dislike of him at first, that all his merit could not get the better of it afterward. Whereas a genteel manner prepossesses people in your favour, bends them tov/ards vou, and makes them wish to like you. Awkwardness can proceed but from two causes ; either from not having kept good company, or from not having attended to it. As for your 19 -^ Selections keeping good company, I will take care of that ; do you take care to observe their ways and manners, and to form your own upon them. Attention is absolutely necessary for this, as indeed it is for everything else j and a man without attention is not fit to live in the world. When an awkward fellow first comes into a room, it is highly probable that his sword gets between his legs, and throws him down, or makes him stumble at least ; when he has recovered this accident, he goes and places himself in the very place of the whole room where he should not ; there he soon lets his hat fall down, and, in taking it up again, throws down his cane ; in recovering his cane, his hat falls a second time ; so that he is a quarter of an hour before he is in order 20 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ again. If he drinks tea or cofFee, he certainly scalds his mouth, and lets either the cup or the saucer fall, and spills the tea or coffee in his breeches. At dinner, his awkwardness distin- guishes itself particularly, as he has more to do j there he holds his knife, fork, and spoon differently from other people ; eats with his knife to the great danger of his mouth, picks his teeth with his fork, and puts his spoon, which has been in his throat twenty times, into the dishes again. If he is to carve, he can never hit the joint ; but, in his vain efforts to cut through the bone, scatters the sauce in everybody's face. He generally daubs himself with soup and grease, though his napkin is commonly stuck through a buttonhole, and tickles his chin. When he drinks, he infalli- •$H Selections bly coughs in his glass, and besprinkles the company. Besides all this, he has strange tricks and gestures ; such as snuffing up his nose, making faces, put- ting his fingers in his nose, or blowing it and looking afterward in his hand- kerchief, so as to make the company sick. His hands are troublesome to him, when he has not something in them, and he does not know where to put them ; but they are in perpetual motion between his bosom and his breeches ; he does not wear his clothes, and, in short, does nothing like other people. All this, I own, is not in any degree criminal ; but it is highly disa- greeable and ridiculous in company, and ought most carefully to be avoided by whoever desires to please. From this account of what you 22 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ should not do, you may easily judge what you should do ; and a due atten- tion to the manners of people of fashion, and who have seen the world, will make it habitual and familiar to you. There is, likewise, an awkwardness of expression and words, most carefully to be avoided ; such as false English, bad pronunciation, old sayings, and common proverbs ; which are so many proofs of having kept bad and low com- pany. For example : if, instead of say- ing that tastes are different, and that every man has his own peculiar one, you should let ofF a proverb, and say that " what is one man's meat is an- other man's poison ;" or else, " Every one as they like, as the good man said when he kissed his cow ;" everybody would be persuaded that you had never 23 ^ Selections kept company with anybody above foot- men and housemaids. Attention will do all this; and with- out attention nothing is to be done ; want of attention, which is really want of thought, is either folly or madness. You should not only have attention to everything, but a quickness of attention, so as to observe, at once, all the people in the room ; their motions, their looks, and their words ; and yet without star- ing at them, and seeming to be an ob- server. This quick and unobserved observation is of infinite advantage in life, and is to be acquired with care ; and, on the contrary, what is called ab- sence, which is a thoughtlessness and want of attention about what is doing, makes a man so like either a fool or a madman, that, for my part, I see no real 24 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ difference. A fool never has thought, a madman has lost it ; and an absent man is, for the time, without it.^ [Dated Spa^ July 25, A^. S. 1741.] Keep Your Word. — I am sure you know that breaking of your word is a folly, a dishonour, and a crime. It is folly, because nobody will trust you af- terward \ and it is both a dishonour and a crime, truth being the first duty of religion and morality : and whoever has not truth cannot be supposed to have any one good quality, and must * In the compilation called " Lord Chester- field's Maxims," wherein part of this letter is given, all the characteristic points are left out. Thus, where Chesterfield reminds his son that manner is of consequence in pleasing, especially the women, the purist has excised the words in italics. In the Remarque editions the very words of the authors are scrupulously given. 25 ^ Selections become the detestation of God and man. Therefore, I expect, from your truth and your honour, that you will do that which, independently of your promise, your own interest and ambi- tion ought to incline you to do ; that is, to excel in everything you under- take. When I was of your age, I should have been ashamed if any boy of that age had learned his book better, or played at any play better than I did ; and I would not have rested a moment till I had got before him. Julius Cae- sar, who had a noble thirst of glory, used to say that he would rather be the first in a village, than the second in Rome ; and he even cried when he saw the statue of Alexander the Great, with the reflection of how much more glory Alexander had acquired, at thirty years 26 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ old, than he at a much more advanced age. These are the sentiments to make people considerable j and those who have them not will pass their lives in obscurity and contempt ; whereas those who endeavour to excel all, are at least sure of excelling a great many. \^une^ 1742.] Good Breeding. — Though I need not tell one of your age,' experience, and knowledge of the world how nec- essary good breeding is, to recommend one to mankind ; yet, as your various occupations of Greek and cricket, Latin and pitch-farthing, may possibly divert your attention from this object, I take the liberty of reminding you of it, and desiring you to be very well-bred at ' His lordship's badinage, or it may be sar- casm, which the little boy quickly perceived. 27 -^ Selections Lord Orrery's. It Is good breeding alone that can prepossess people in your favour at first sight ; more time being necessary to discover greater talents. This good breeding, you know, does not consist in low bows and formal ceremony ; but in an easy, civil, and respectful behaviour. You will there- fore take care to answer with com- plaisance, when you are spoken to ; to place yourself at the lower end of the table, unless bid to go higher ; to drink first to the lady of the house, and next to the master; not to eat awkwardly or dirtily ; not to sit when others stand ; and to do all this with an air of complaisance, and not with a grave, sour look, as if you did it at all unwillingly. [No date^ Letter 70.] Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ Letter Writing. — Let your let- ter be written as accurately as you are able — I mean with regard to language, grammar, and stops ; for as to the matter of it the less trouble you give yourself the better it will be. Letters should be easy and natural, and convey to the persons to whom we send them, just what we should say to the persons if we were with them. \No date^ Letter 72.] Dancing Trifling. — Dancing is in itself a very trifling, silly thing; but it is one of those established follies to which people of sense are sometimes obliged to conform ; and then they should be able to do it well. And, though I would not have you a dancer, yet, when you do dance, I would have you dance well, as I would have you do everything you do, well. There is no 29 ^ Selections one thing so trifling, hut which (if it is to be done at all) ought to be done well. And I have often told you that I wished you even played at pitch, and cricket, better than any boy at West- minster. For instance : dress is a very foolish thing ; and yet it is a very fool- ish thing for a man not to be well dressed, according to his rank and way of life ; and it is so far from being a disparagement to any man's understand- ing, that it is rather a proof of it, to be as well dressed as those whom he lives with : the difference in this case be- tween a man of sense and a fop is, that the fop values himself upon his dress ; and the man of sense laughs at it, at the same time that he knows he must not neglect it; there are a thousand foolish customs of this kind, which not being 30 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ criminal must be complied with, and even cheerfully, by men of sense. Di- ogenes the cynic was a wise man for despising them, but a fool for showing it. Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so. \_Dublhi Castle Nov. 19, 1745.'] The Well-bred Man — Feels him- self firm and easy in all companies ; is modest without being bashful, and steady without being impudent : if he is a stranger, he observes, with care, the manners and ways of the people the most esteemed at that place, and conforms to them with complaisance. Instead of finding fault with the cus- toms of that place, and telling the people that the English ones are a thousand times better (as my country- ' His lordship was then Viceroy of Ireland. 31 ^ Selections men are very apt to do), he commends their table, their dress, their houses, and their manners, a little more, it may be, than he really thinics they deserve. But this degree of complais- ance is neither criminal nor abject, and is but a small price to pay for the good will and affection of the people you converse with. As the generality of people are weak enough to be pleased with these little things, those who refuse to please them, so cheaply, are, in my mind, weaker than they. \_Same month^ O. 5., 1746.] " L'i\RT DE Plaire." — -There is a very pretty little French book, written by L'Abbe de Bellegarde, entitled " V Art de Plalre dans la Conversation ; " ' ^ A good-natured but somewhat silly book, in which M. L'Abbe instructs certain young ladies 32 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ and, though I confess that it is impos- sible to reduce the art of pleasing to a system, yet this principle I will lay down, that the desire of pleasing is at least half the art of doing it ; the rest depends only upon the manner which attention, observation, and fre- quenting good company will teach. But if you are lazy, careless, and indifferent whether you please or not, depend upon it you never will please. ^Same date.'\ Introspection. — You must look into people, as well as at them. Almost all people are born with all the passions, to a certain degree j but almost every man has a prevailing one, to which the others are ordinate. Search every and gentlemen by the means of sundry convei' sations and reflections. 33 ^ Selections one for that ruling passion ; pry into the recesses of his heart, and observe the different workings of the same pas- sion in different people. And, when you have found out the prevailing passion of any man, remember never to trust him, where that passion is concerned. Work upon him by it, if you please ; but be upon your guard yourself against it, whatever professions he may make you. [^November^ 1746.] How TO Dress. — Take great care always to be dressed like the reasonable people of your own age, in the place where you are ; whose dress is never spoken of one way or another, as either too negligent or too much studied. \_Sa?ne date.'\ Absent People. — What is com- monly called an absent man is 34 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ commonly either a very weak or a verj affected man ; but be he which he will, he is, I am sure, a very disagreeable man in company. He fails in all the common offices of civility ; he seems not to know those people to-day, with whom yesterday he appeared to live in intimacy. He takes no part in the general conversation ; but, on the contrary, breaks into it, from time to time, with some start of his own, as if he waked from a dream. This (as I said before) is a sure indication, either of a mind so weak that it is not able to bear above one object at a time ; or so affected, that it would be supposed to be wholly engrossed by, and directed to, some very great and important objects. Sir Isaac Newton, Mr. Locke, and (it may be) five or 35 ^ Selections SIX more, since the creation of the world, may have had a right to absence, from that intense thought which the things they were investigating required. But if a young man, and a man of the world, who has no such avocations to plead, will claim and exercise that right of absence in company, his pre- tended right should, in my mind, be turned into an involuntary absence, by his perpetual exclusion out of company. [Ibid.] Flattery. — Most people (I might say all people) have their weaknesses ; they have their aversions and their likings, to such and such things; so that, if you were to laugh at a man for his aversion to a cat, or cheese (which are common antipathies), or, by inattention and negligence, to let 36 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ them come in his way, where you could prevent it, he would, in the first case, think himself insu.ted, and, in the second, slighted j and would remem- ber both. Whereas your care to procure for him what he likes, and to remove from him what he hates, shows him that he is at least an object of your attention ; flatters his vanity, and makes him possibly more your friend than a more important service would have done. With regard to women, attentions still below these are necessary, and, by the custom of the worjd, in some measure due, according to the laws of good breeding. Employment of Time. — I hope you employ your whole time, which few people do ; and that you put every moment to profit of some k nd or 37 ^ Selections other. I call company, walking, riding, etc., employing one's time, and, upon proper occasions, very usefully j but what I cannot forgive, in anybody, is sauntering, and doing nothing at all with a thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable when lost. l_Dec. 9,0. s.. 1746.] Virtue and Gold. — Virtue and learning, like gold, have their intrinsic value J but if they are not polished, they certainly lose a great deal f their lustre : and even polished brass will pass upon more people than rough gold. What a number of sins does the cheer- ful, easy good breeding of the French frequently cover ? Many of them want common sense, many more common learning ; but, in general, they make up so much by their manner for these Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ defects, that, frequently, they pass un- discovered. I have often said, and do think, that a Frenchman, who, with a fund of virtue, learning, and good sense, has the manners and good breeding of his country, is the perfection of human nature. [Alarch^ I747-] Gambling. — The same as to gam- ing. I did not want money ; and, con- sequently, had no occasion to play for it ; but I thought play another neces- sary ingredient in the composition of a man of pleasure, and accordingly J plung-^d into it, without desire, at first ; sacrificed a thousand real pleasures to it ; and made mvself solidly uneasy by it, for thirty the best years of my life. I was even absurd enough, for a little while, to swear, by way of adorning and completing the shining character which 39 -^ Selections I a)Tectecl ; but this folly 1 soon laid aside upon finding both the guilt and indecency of it. Thus seduced by fashion, and blindly adopting nominal pleasures, I lost real ones ; and my fortune impaired, and my constitution shattered, are, I must confess, the just punishment of my errors. Take warning, then, by them j choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not let them be imposed upon you. Follow nature, and not fashion ; weigh the present enjoyment of your pleasures, against the necessary consequences of them, and then let your own common sense determine your choice. \^MarLh 27. 1747O Personal Cleanliness. — As you must attend to your manners, so you 40 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ must not neglect your person ; but take care to be very clean, well dressed, and genteel ; to have no disagreeable atti- tudes, nor awkward tricks ; which many people use themselves to, and then can- not leave them off. Do you take care to keep your teeth very clean, by wash- ing them constantly every morning, and after every meal ? This is very neces- sary, both to preserve your teeth a great while, and to save you a great deal of pain. Mine have plagued me long, and are now falling out, merely for want of care when I was of your age. Do you dress well, and not too well ? Do you consider your air and manner of presenting yourself, enough, and not too much ? neither negligent nor stiff. All these things deserve a degree of care, a second-rate attention ; they give 41 ^ Selections an additional lustre to real merit. My Lord Bacon says that a pleasing figure is a perpetual letter of recommendation. It is certainly an agreeable forerunner of merit, and smooths the way for it. [July 30, 1747.] Lying. — 1 really know nothing more criminal, more mean, and more ridiculous, than lying. It is the pro- duction either of malice, cowardice, or vanity ; and generally misses of its aim in every one of these views ; for lies are always detected, sooner or later. If I tell a malicious lie, in .order to af- fect any man's fortune or character, I may indeed injure him for some time, but I shall be sure to be the greatest sufferer myself at last ; for as soon as ever I am detected (and detected I most certainly shall be), I am blasted for the 42 Lord Chesterfield's Letters^ infamous attempt j and whatever is said afterward, to the disadvantage of that person, however true, passes for cal- umny. If I lie, or equivocate, for it is the same thing, in order to excuse my- self for something that I have said or done, and to avoid the danger or the shame that I apprehend from it, I dis- cover at once my fear, as well as my falsehood ; and only increase, instead of avoiding the danger and the shame ; I show myself to be the lowest and the meanest of mankind, and am sure to be always treated as such. Remember as long as you live, that nothing but strict truth can carry you through the world with either your conscience or your honour unwounded. It is not only your duty, but your interest ; as a proof of which, you may always observe that 43 ^ Selections the greatest fools are the greatest liars j For my own part, I judge of every man's truth by his degree of under- standing. [Sept. 21, 1747.] Good Breeding. — Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is essentially the same in every country ; but good breeding, as it is called, which is the manner of exert- ing that disposition, is different in almost every country, and merely local ; and every man of sense imntates and con- forms to that local good breeding of the place which he is at. A conformity and flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world ; that is, with regard to all things which are not wrong in themselves. The versatile ingenium is the most useful of all. It can turn itself instantly from one ob- 44 Lord Chesterfield's Letters K^ ject to another, assuming the proper manner for each. It can be serious with the grave, cheerful with the gay, and trifling with the frivolous. En- deavour, by all Tieans, to acquire this talent, for it is a very great one. [Oct. 2, ^747-] Good Company. — There are two sorts of good company j one, which is called the beau monde, and consists of those people who have the lead in courts, and in the gay part of life ; the other consists of those who are distin- guished by some peculiar merit, or who excel in some particular and valuable art or science. For my own part, I used to think myself in company as much above me, when I was with Mr. Addison and Mr. Pope, as if I had been with all the princes in Europe. What 4£ ^ Selections I mean by low company, which should by all means be avoided, is the company of those, who, absolutely insignificant and contemptible in themselves, think they are honoured by being in your company, and who flatter every vice and every folly you have, in order to engage you to converse with them. The pride of being the first of the com- pany is but too common ; but it is very silly, and very prejudicial. Nothing in the world lets down a character more than that wrong turn. You may possibly ask me, whether a man has it alwavs in his power to get into the best company ? and how ? I say, yes,. he has, by deserving it; pro- vided he is but in circumstances which enable him to appear upon the footing of a gentleman. Merit and good breed- 46 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ ing will make their way everywhere. Knowledge will introduce him, and good breeding will endear him to the best companies ; for, as I have often told you, politeness and good breeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any, or all, other good qualities or talents. Without them, no knowledge, no per- fection whatsoever, is seen in its best light. The scholar, without good breed- ing, is a pedant ; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every man disagreeable. [Oct. 9, 1747.] Busy Idleness. — There are a great many people, who think themselves em- ployed all day, and who, if they were to cast up their accounts at night, would find that they had done just nothing. They have read two or three hours, mechanically, without attending 47 ^ Select! ins to what they read, and, consequently, without either retainino- it or reasoning o o upon it. From thence they saunter into company, without taking any part in it, and without observing the chaiac- ters of the persons, or the subjects of the conversation ; but are either think- ing of some trifle, foreign to the pres- ent purpose, or, often, not thinking at all ; which silly and idle suspension of thought they would dignify with the name of absctice and dUtvact'ion. They go afterward, it may be, to the play, v/here they gape at the company and the lights; but without minding the very thing they went to, the play. lOct. 30, 1747.] Action ! Action ! — Remember the hoc age : do what you are about, be that what it will ; it is either worth doing 48 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ well, Gi not at all. Wherever you are, have (as the low, vulg' f expression is) )'our ears and your eyes about you. Listen to everything that is said, and see everything that is done. Observe the looks and countenances of those who*speak, which is often a surer way of discovering the truth, than from what they say. [Same date.'\ Value of Time. — I knew, once, a very covetous, sordid fellow, who used frequently to say, " Take care of the pence, for the pounds will take care of themselves." This was a just and sen- sible reflection in a miser. I recom- mend to vou to take care of minutes; for hours will take care of themselves. I am very sure that many people lose two or three hours every day, by not taking care of the minutes. Never 49 ^ Selections think any portion of time, whatsoever, too short to oe employed j something or other may always be done in it. [Nov. 6. I747-] The Time to Learn. — Remember that whatever knowledge you do not solidly lay the foundation of before you are eighteen, you will never be master of while you breathe. \_Dec. 1 1, 1747.] Knowledge. — Knowledge is a com- fortable and necessary retreat and shel- ter for us in an advanced age ; and if we do not plant it while young, it will give us no shade when we grow old. [Same dateJ] Polish. — Now, though I would not recommend to you, to go into women's company in search of solid knowledge or judgment, yet it has its use in other respects ; for it certainly polishes the 50 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ manners, and gives une certain tourtiure^ which is very necessary in the course of the world, and which Englishmen have generally less of than any people in the world. [Jc^n. 2, 1748.] Thoroughness. — Whatever you do, do it to the purpose ; do it thoroughly, not superficiallv. Go to the bottom of things. Anything half done, or half known, is, in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads. There is hardly any place, or any company, where you may not gain knowledge, if you please ; almost everybody knows some one thing, and is glad to talk upon that one thing. \_Ftb. 16, 1748.] Proper Inquisitiveness. — Seek, and you will find, in this world, as well as in the next. See everything, inquire 51 ^ Selections .nto everything; and you may excuse your curiosity and the questions you ask, which otherwise might be thought impertinent, by your manner of asking them ] for most things depend a great deal upon the manner. As, for exam- ple, / am afraid that I am very trouble- some with my questions ; but nobody can inform me so well as you ; or something of that kind. \_Same date.'j Religion to Be Respected. — But when you frequent places of public worship, as I would have you go to all the different ones you meet with, remember, that, however erroneous, they are none of them objects of laugh- ter and ridicule. Honest error is to be pitied, not ridiculed. The object of all the public worships in the world is the same ; it is that great 52 Lord Chesterfield's Letters -^ eternal Being who created everything. The different manners of worship are by no means subjects of ridicule. Each sect thinks its ovvn the best; and I know no infallible judge, in this world, to decide which is the best. Use a Note-book. — Make the same inquiries, wherever you are, con- cerning the revenues, the military establishment, the trade, the commerce, and the police of every country. And you would do well to keep a blank paper book, which the Germans call an album ; and there, instead of desiring, as they do, every fool they meet with to scribble something, write down all these things, as soon as they come to your knowledge from good authorities. \_Same datt.'\ 53 ^ Selections Lord Chesterfield's Care. — I have now but one anxiety left, which is, concerning you. I would have you be, what I know nobody is, perfect. As that is impossible, I would have you as near perfection as possible. I know nobody in a fairer way toward it than yourself, if you please. Never were so much pains takeri for anybody's education as for yours ; and never had anybody those opportunities of knowl- edge and improvement which you have had, and still have. I hope, I wish, I doubt, and I fear alternately. This only I am sure of, that you will prove either the greatest pain, or the greatest pleasure of, yours always truly. ^Same date.'^ How "TO Wear" Learning. — Wear your learning, like your watch, 54 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ in a private pocket ; and do not pull it out and strike it, merely to show that you have one. If you are asked what o'clock it is, tell it, but do not proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman. \^Feb. 22, 1748.] The Folly of Laughter. — Hav- ing mentioned laughing, I must particu- larly warn you against it ; and I could heartily wish that you may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners : it is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy, at silly things ; and they call it being merry. In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. True wit, or sense, never yet made anybody laugh ; they are 55 ^ Selections above it : they please the mind, and give a cheerfulness to the countenance. But it is low buffoonery, or silly ac- cidents, that always excite laughter; and that is what people of sense and breeding should show themselves above. A man's going to sit down, in the supposition that he has a chair behind him, and falling down upon his breech for want of one, sets a whole company a-laughing, when all the wit in the world would not do it ; a plain proof, in my mind, how low and unbecom- ing a thing laughter is. Not to mention the disagreeble noise it makes, and the shocking distortion of the face that it occasions. Laughter is easily re- strained, by a very little reflection ; but, as it is generally connected with the idea of gaiety, people do not enough attend 56 Lord Chesterfield's Letters^ to its absurdity. I am neither cf . melancholy, nor a cynical disposition and am as willing and as apt to be pleased as anybody ; but I am sure that, since I hav^e had the full use of my reason, nobody has ev^er heard me laugh. [March 9, 1748.] The Mind. — It requires, also, a great deal of exercise, to bring it to a state of health and vigour. Observe the difference there is between minds cultivated and minds uncultivated, and you will, 1 am sure, think that you cannot take too much pains, nor employ too much of your time, in the culture of your own. A drayman is probably born with as good organs as Milton, Locke, or Newton ; but, by culture, they are much more above him than he is above his horse. 57 ^ Selections Sometimes, indeed, extraordinary gen- iuses have broken out by the force of nature, without the assistance of educa- tion ; but those instances are too rare for anybody to trust to ; and even they would make a much greater figure, if thev had the advantage of education into the bargain. [Jp-nl i, 1748.] Chesterfield's Proposed Aim. — The end which I propose by your edu- cation, and which (if you please) I shall certainly attain, is to unite in you the knowledge of a scholar, with the man- ners of a courtier ; and to join, what is seldom joined in any of my country- men, books and the world. They are commonly twenty years old before they have spoken to anybodv above their schoolmaster, and the fellows of their college. If they happen to have learn- 58 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ ing, it is only Greek and Latin j but not one word of modern history, or modern languages. Thus piCpared, they go abroad, as they call it j but, in truth they stay at home all that while j for being very awkward, confoundedly ashamed, and not speaking the lan- guages, they go into no foreign com- paxny, at least none good ; but dine and sup with one another only, at the tav- ern. Such examples, I am sure, you will not imitate, but even carefully avoid. [May lo, 1748.] Manly Deference to Rank. — People of a low, obscure education cannot stand the rays of greatness ; they are frightened out of their wits when kings and great men speak to them ; thev are awkward, ashamed, and do not know what nor how to answer j 59 ^ Selections whereas les honnetes gens are not dazzled by superior rank \ they know and pay all the respect that is due to it ; but they do it without being disconcerted ; and can converse just as easily with a king, as with any one of his subjects. That is the great advantage of being intro- duced young into good company, and being used early to converse with one's superiors. How many men have I seen here, who, after having had the full benefit of an English education first at school, and then at the university, when they have been presented to the king, did not know whether they stood upon their heads or their heels. \^May 17, 1748.] Filial Love to the Mother. — You owe her, not only duty, but like- wise great obligations, for her care and 60 Lord Chesterfield's Letters^ tenderness ; and consequently, cannot take too many opportunities of showing your gratitude. '■ [Same date.'\ Diplomatic Education. — You must absolutely speak all the modern languages, as purely and correctly as the natives of the respective countries; for whoever does not speak a language per- fectly and easily, will never appear to advantage in conversation, nor treat with others in it upon equal terms. [May 22, 1748.] Advantage of Manners. — Man- ners, though the last, and it may be the least, ingredient of real merit, are, how- ever, very far from being useless in its composition ; they adorn, and give an ' Lord Chesterfield had been urging his son to send a Dresden tea service to his mother, which he did. 61 ^ Selections additional force and lustre to both vir- tue and knowledge. They prepare and smooth the way for the progress of both; and are, I fear, with the bulk of mankind, more engaging than either. Remember, then, the infinite advantage of manners ; cultivate and improve your own to the utmost ; good sense will suggest the great rules to you, good company will do the rest. [May 27, 1748.] How TO Be Considerable. — Upon the whole, if you have a mind to be considerable, and to shine hereafter, you must labour hard now. No quick- ness of parts, no vivacity, will do long, or go far, without a solid fund of knowledge : and that fund of knowl- edge will amply repay all the pains that you can take in acquiring it. Reflect 62 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ seriously, within yourself, upon all this, and ask yourself, whether I can have any view, but your interest, in all that I recommend to you. \_Sa?ne date.'] Enunciation — Eloquence. — Your figure is a good one j you have no natural defect in the organs of speech ; your address may be engaging, and your manner of speaking graceful, if you will ; so that, if they are not so, neither I nor the world, can ascribe it to any- thing but your want of parts. What is the constant and just observation as to all actors upon the stage ? Is it not, that those who have the best sense al- ways speak the best, though they may happen not to have the best voices ? They will speak plainly, distinctly, and with the proper emphasis, be their voices ever so bad. Had Roscius spoken quick^ 63 #4 Selections thick^ and ungracefully^ I will answer for it, that Cicero would not have thought him worth the oration which he made in his favour. Words were given us to communicate our ideas by; and there must be something inconceivably absurd in uttering them in such a manner as that either people cannot understand them, or will not desire to understand them. I tell you truly and sincerely, that T shall judge of your parts by your speaking gracefully or ungracefully. If you have parts, you will never be at rest till you have brought yourself to a habit of speaking most gracefully ; for I aver that it is in your power. [June 21, 1748.] Articulation. — You will take care to open your teeth when you speak ; to articulate every word distinctly j and 64 Lord Chesterfield's Letters Hf to beg of Mr. Harte, Mr. Eliot, or whomever you speak to, to remind and stop you, if ever you fall into the rapid and unintelligible mutter. You will even read aloud to yourself, and tune your utterance to your own ear; and read at first much slower than you need to do, in order to correct yourself of that shameful trick of speaking faster than you ought. Desert and Reward. — Deserve a great deal, and you shall have a great deal ; deserve a little, and you shall have but little ; and be good for nothing at all, and, I assure you, you shall have nothino- at all. o Solid knowledge, as I have often told you, is the first and great foundation of your future fortune and character ; for I never mention to you the two much 65 ^ Selections greater points of religion and morality, because I cannot possibly suspect you as to either of them. [July i, 1748.] No One Contemptible. — Be con- vinced that there are no persons so in- significant and inconsiderable, but may, some time or other, and in some thing or other, have it in their pcver to be of use to you ; which they certainly will not, if you have once shown them con- tempt. [S^me date.] The Folly of Contempt. — Wrongs are often forgiven, but con- tempt never is. Our pride remembers it for ever. It implies a discovery of weaknesses, which we are much more careful to conceal than crimes. Many a man will confess his crimes to a common friend, but I never knew a man who would tell his silly weaknesses 66 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ to his most Intimate one. As many a friend will tell us our faults without reserve, who will not so much as hint at our follies : that discovery is too mortifying to our self-love, either to tell another, or to be told, of one's self. You must, therefore, never expect to hear of your weaknesses or follies, from anybody but me ; those I will take pains to discover, and, whenever I do, shall tell you of them. \^July i, 1748.] Lazy A^Iinds. — There are two sorts of understandings ; one of which hin- ders a man from ever being consider- able, and the other commonly makes him ridiculous ; I mean the lazy mind, and the trifling, frivolous mind. Yours, I hope, is neither. The lazy mind will not take the trouble of going to the bottom of anything ; but, discouraged 67 >S-> Selections by the first difficulties (and everything worth knowing or having is attended with some), stops short, contents itself with easy, and, consequently, superfi- cial knowledge, and prefers a great degree of ignorance to a small degree of trouble. These people either think, or represent, most things as impossible ; whereas few things are so, to industry and activity. [J^fy 26, 1748.] Conversation. — When you are in company, bring the conversation to some useful subject, but a port'ee of that company. Points of history, matters of literature, the customs of particular countries, the several orders of knight- hood, a? Teutonic, Maltese, etc., are surely better subjects of conversation than the weather, dress, or fiddle-faddle stories, that carry no information along 68 Lord Chesterfield's Letters Hf with them. The characters of kings, and great men, are only to be learned in conversation ; for they are never fairly written during their lives. \_Same date.~\ Always Ask. — Never be ashamed nor afraid of asking questions ; for if they lead to information, and if you ac- company them with some excuse, you will never be reckoned an impertinent or rude questioner. All those things, in the common course of life, depend entirely upon the manner ; and in that respect the vulgar saying is true, " that one man may better steal a horse, than another look over the hedge." ^Same dateJ] Diet. — Duval tells me that you are pretty fat for one of your age j this you should attend to in a proper way; for if, v»'hile very young, you should grow 69 •^ Selections fat, it would be troublesome, unwhole- some, and ungraceful j you should there- fore, when you have time, take very strong exercise, and in your diet avoid fattening things. All malt liquors fat- ten, or at least bloat ; and I hope you do not deal m.uch in them. [y^ug. 2, 1748.] Buying Books. — Mr. Harte wrote me word some time ago, and Mr. Eliot confirms it now, that you employ your pin-money in a very different manner from that in which pin-money ' is com- monly lavished. Not in gewgaws and baubles, but in buying good and useful books. This is an excellent symptom, and gives me very good hopes. Go on thus, my dear boy, but for these two * A somewhat curious use of the phrase, but well explained by Johnson. 70 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ next years, and I ask no more. You must then make such a figure, and such a fortune in the world, as I wish you, and as I have taken all these pains to enable you to do. After that time, I allow you to be as idle as ever you please ; because I am sure that you will not then please to be so at all. The ignorant and the weak only are idle ; but those who have once acquired a good stock of knowledge, always desire to increase it. Knowledge is like power, in this respect, that those who have the most are most desirous of having more. It does not clog, by possession, but increases desires; which is the case of very few pleasures. [Jug. 23, 1848.] Historical Faith. — Take nothing for granted, upon the bare authority of 71 -^ Selections the author j but weigh and consider, in your own mind, the probability of the facts, and the justness of the reflections. Consult different authors upon the same facts, and form your opinion upon the greater or lesser degree of probability arising from the whole, which, in my mind, is the utmost stretch of historical faith, certainty (I fear) not being to be found, [^ug. 30, 1748.] Letters. — Your letters, except when upon a given subject, are exceed- ingly laconic, and neither answer my desires, nor the purpose of letters, which should be familiar conversations between absent friends. As I desire to live with you upon the footing of an intimate friend, and not of a parent, I could wish that your letters gave me more particular accounts of yourself 72 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ and of your lesser transactions. When you write to me, suppose yourself conversing freely with me, by the fire- side. In that case, you would naturally mention the incidents of the day ; as where you had been, whom you had seen, what you thought of them, etc. Do this in your letters ; acquaint me sometimes with your studies, sometimes with your diversions ; tell me of any new persons and characters that you meet with in company, and add your own observations upon them : in short, let me see more of you, in your letters. [Sept. 27, 1748.] Good Company. — To keep good company, especially at your first setting out, is the way to receive good impres- sions. If you ask me what I mean by good company, I will confess to 73 ^ Selections you that it is pretty difficult to define ; but I will endeavour to make you understand it as well as I can. Good company is not what respect- ive sets of company are pleased either to call or think themselves j but it is that company which all the people of the place call, and acknowledge to be good company, notwithstanding some objections which they may form to some of the individuals who compose it. It consists chiefly (but by no means without exception) of people of considerable birth, rank, and charac- ter : for people of neither birth nor rank are frequently and very justly admitted into it, if distinguished by any peculiar merit, or eminency in any liberal art or science. Nay, so motley a thing is good company, that 74 Lord Chesterneld's Letters PfT many people, without birth, rank, or merit, intrude into it by their own forwardness, and others slide into it by the protection of some consider- able person ; and some even of indiffer- ent characters and morals make part of it. But, in the main, the good part preponderates, and people of infamous and blasted characters are never admitted. In this fashionable good company the best manners and the best language of the place are most unquestionably to be learnt; for they establish, and give the tone to both, which are therefore called the language and manners of good com- pany ; there being no legal tribunal to ascertain either. A company consisting wholly of people of the first quality cannot, for 75 ^ Selections that reason, be called good company, in the common acceptation of the phrase, unless they are, into the bargain, the fashionable and accredited company of the place ; for people of the very first quality can be as silly, as ill-bred, and as worthless, as people of the mean- est degree. On the other hand, a company consisting entirely of people of very low condition, whatever their merit or parts may be, can never be called good company ; and consequently should not be much frequented, though by no means despised. A company wholly composed of men of learning, though greatly to be valued and respected, is not meant by the words goo<^ compayiy : they cannot have the easy manners and tournure of the world, as they do not live in it. 76 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ If you can bear your part well in such a company, it is extremely right to be in it sometimes, and you will be but more esteemed, in other companies, for having a place in that. But then do not let it engross you : for if you do, you will be only considered as one of the Utterati by profession ; which is not the way either to shine or rise in the world. The company of professed wits and poets is extremely inviting to most young men, who, if they have wit themselves, are pleased with it, and if they have none, are sillily proud of beino- one of it ; but it should be fre- quented with moderation and judgment, and you should by no means give yourself up to it. A wit is a very unpopular denomination, as it carries terror along 77 •^ Selections with it ; and people in general are as much afraid of a live wit, in company, as a woman is of a gun, which she thinks may go ofF of itself, and do her a mischief. Their acquaintance is, however, worth seeking, and their company worth frequenting ; but not exclusively of others, nor to such a degree as to be considered only as one of that particular set. But the company which of all others you should most carefully avoid is that low company which, in every sense of the word, is low indeed ; low in rank, low in parts, low in manners, and low in merit. [0t7. 12, 1748.] Associates. — There is good sense in the Spanish saying, " Tell me whom you live with, and I will tell you 78 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ who you are." Make it, therefore, your business, wherever you are, to get into that company which every- body of the place allows to be the best company, next to their own : which is the best definition that I can give you of good company. But here, too, one caution is /ery necessary ; for want of which many young men have been ruined, even in good com- pany. Good company (as I have before observed) is composed of a great variety of fashionable people, whose characters and morals are very different, though their manners are pretty much the same. When a young man, now in the world, first gets into that com- pany, he very rightly determines to conform to and imitate it. But then he too often, and fatally, mistakes 79 ^ Selections the object of his imitation. He has often heard that absurd term of genteel and fashionable vices. \_Same date.'] Behaviour. — Imitate, then, with discernment and judgment, the real perfections of the good company into vi^hich you may get ; copy their polite- ness, their carriage, their address, and the easy and well-bred turn of their conversation ; but remember, that, let them shine ever so bright, their vices, if they have any, are so many spots, which you would no more imitate than you would make an artificial wart upon your face, because some very handsome man had the misfortune to have a natural one upon his : but, on the contrary, think how much hand- somer he would have been without it. \_Same date.] So Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ Talking. — Talk often, but never long ; In that case, if you do not please, at least you are sure not to tire your hearers. Pay your own reckoning, but do not treat the whole company ; this being one of the very few cases in which people do not care to be treated, every one being fully convinced that he has where- withal to pay. Tell stories very seldom, and abso- lutely never but where they are very apt, and very short. Omit every cir- cumstance that is not material, and beware of digressions. To have fre- quent recourse to narrative betrays great want of imagination. Never hold anybody by the button, or the hand, in order to be heard out ; for, if people are not willing to hear 8j ^ Selections you, you had much better hold your tongue than them. Most long talkers single out some one unfortunate man in company (com.- monly him whom they observe to be the most silent, or their next neigh- bour) to whisper, or at least, in a half voice, to convey a continuity of words to. This is excessively ill-bred, and, in some degree, a fraud, conversa- tion stock being a joint and common property. But, on the other hand, if one of these unmerciful talkers lays hold of you, hear him with patience (and at least seem.ing atten- tion), if he is worth obliging ; for nothing will oblige him more than a patient hearing, as nothing would hurt him more than either to leave him in the midst of his discourse, or 82 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ to discover your impatience undei your affliction. Take rather than give, the tone of the company you are in. If you have parts, you will show them, more or less, upon every subject ; and if you have not, you had better talk sillily upon a subject of other people's than of your own choosing. Avoid as much as you can, in mixed companies, argumentative, polemical conversations ; which, though they should not, yet certainly do, indispose, for a time, the contending parties toward each other : and, if the contro- versy grows warm and noisy, endeavour to put an end to it by some genteel levity or joke. I quieted such a con- versation hubbub once, by representing to them that, though I was persuaded 83 ^ Selections none there present would repeat, out of company, what passed in it, yet I could not answer for the discretion of the passengers in the street, who must necessarily hear all that was said. Above all things, and upon all occa- sions, avoid speaking of yourself, if it be possible. Such is the natural pride and vanity of our hearts, that it perpetually breaks out, even in people of the best parts, in all the various modes and figures of the egotism. [Oct. 19, 1748.] Yourself. — The only sure way of avoiding these evils is, never to speak of yourself at all. But when, historic- ally, you are obliged to mention your- self, take care not to drop one single word that can directly or indirectly be construed as fishing for applause. Be 84 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ your character what it will, it will be known ; and nobody will take it upon your own word. Never imagine that anything you can say yourself will var- nish your defects, or add lustre to your perfections ; but, on the contrary, it may, and nine times in ten will, make the form.er more glaring, and the latter obscure. If you are silent upon your own subject, neither envy, indignation, nor ridicule, will obstruct or allay the applause which you may really deserve ; but if you publish your own panegyric, upon any occasion, or in any shape what- soever, and however artfully dressed or disguised, they will all conspire against you, and you will be disappointed of the very end you aim at. [Same date.'\ Scandal — Mimicry — Swearing — Laughter. — Neither retail nor re- 85 T7=r Selections ceive scandal, willingly j for though the defamation of others may, for the pres- ent, gratify the malignity of the pride of our hearts, cool reflection will draw very disadvantageous conclusions from such a disposition ; and in the case of scandal, as in that of robbery, the re- ceiver is always thought as bad as the thief. Mimicry, which is the common and favourite amusement of little, low minds, is in the utmost contempt with great ones. It is the lowest and most illiberal of all buffoonery. Pray, neither practise it yourself, nor applaud it in others. Besides that, the person mimicked is insulted ; and, as I have often observed to you before, an insult is never forgiven. I need not (I believe) advise you to 86 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ adapt your conversation to the people you are conversing with : for I suppose you v/ould not, without this caution, have talked upon the same subject, and in the same manner, to a minister of state, a bishop, a philosopher, a captain, and a woman. A man of the world must, like the chameleon (sic)^ be able to take every difterent hue ; which is by no means a criminal or abject, but a necessary complaisance, for it relates only to manners, and not to morals. One word only, as to swearing ; and that, I hope and believe, is more than is necessary. You may sometimes hear some people, in good company, inter- lard their discourse with oaths, by way of embellishment, as thev think ; but you must observe, too, that those who do so are never those who contribute, 87 ^ Selections in any degree, to give that company the denomination of good company. They arc always subalterns, or people of low education ; for that practice, besides that it has no one temptation to plead, is as silly, and as illiberal, as it is wicked. Loud laughter is the mirth of the mob y who are only pleased with silly things ; for true wit or good sense never excited a laugh, since the creation of the world. A man of parts and fashion is therefore only seen to smile, but never heard to laugh. But, to conclude this long letter; all the above-mentioned rules, however carefully you may observe them, will lose half their effect, if unaccompanied by the Graces. Whatever you say, if you say it with a supercilious, cynical face, or an embarrassed countenance, Lord Chesterfield's Letters ¥ TyT or a silly, disconcerted grin, will be ill received. If, into the bargain, you mutter it^ or utter it indistinctly^ and ungracefully^ it will be still worse received. If your air and address are vulgar, awkward, and gauche^ you may be esteemed, indeed, if you have great intrinsic merit ; but you will never please : and, without pleasing, you will rise but heavily. Venus, among the ancients, was synonymous with the Graces, who were always supposed to accompany her : and Horace tells us that even Youth and Mercury, the god of arts and eloquence, would not do without her. "... Pariim comis sine te JuventaSy Mercuriusque.'''' They are not inexorable ladies, and may be had, if properly and dili- 89 ^ Selections gently pursued. Adieu. \_Oct. 19, 1748.] Frivolity. — Little minds mistake little objects for great ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which only the latter deserve. To such mistakes we owe the numerous and frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, shell-mongers, and pursuers and driers of butterflies, etc. The strong mind distinguishes not only between the useful and the useless, but, likewise, between the useful and the curious. He applies himself intensely to the for- mer ; he only amuses himself with the latter. Of this little sort of knowledge, which I have just hinted at, you will find, at least, as much as you need wish to know, in a superficial but pretty French book, entitled, " Spectacle de la 90 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ Nature j " which will amuse you while you read it, and give you a sufficient notion of the various parts of nature ; I would advise you to read it, at leisure hours. [Dec. 6, 1748.] Improvement of Time. — The whole morning, if diligently and atten- tively devoted to solid studies, will go a great way at the year's end ; and the evenings spent in the pleasures of good company will go as far in teaching you a knowledge not much less necessary than the other — I mean the knowledge of the world. Between these two necessary studies, that of books in the morning, and that of the world in the evening, you see that you will not have one minute to squander or slattern away. Nobody ever lent themselves more than I did, when I 91 ^ Selections was young, to the pleasures and dissi- pation of good company j I even did it too much. But then, I can assure you that I always found time for serious studies; and, when I could find it no other way, I took it out of my sleep, for I resolved always to rise early in the morning, however late I went to bed at night ; and this resolution I have kept so sacred, that, unless when I have been confined to my bed by ill- ness, I have not for more than forty years, ever been in bed at nine o'clock in the morning, but commonly up before eight. ^Dec. 13, 1748.] Affectation. — Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies, in my mind, a flaw in the understanding. Most of our young fellows, here, dis- play some character or other by their 92 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ dress j some affect the tremendous, and wear a great and fiercely cocked hat, an enormous sword, a short waistcoat, and a black cravat : these I should be almost tempted to swear the peace against, in my own defence, if I were not convinced that they are but meek asses in lions' skins. Others go in brown frocks, leather breeches, great oaken cudgels in their hands, their hats uncocked, and their hair unpowdered ; and imitate grooms, stage-coachmen, and country bumpkins so well in their outsides, that I do not make the least doubt of their resembling them equally in their insides. A man of sense care- fully avoids any particular character in his dress ; he is accurately clean for his own sake ; but all the rest is for other people's. He dresses as well, and in 93 ^ Selections the same manner, as the people of sense and fashion of the place where he is. If he dresses better, as he thinks, thai is, more than they, he is a fop ; if he dresses worse, he is unpardonably negli- gent : but, of the two, I would rather have a young fellow too much than too little dressed ; the excess on that side will wear off, with a little age and reflection ; but if he is negligent at twenty, he will be a sloven at forty, and stink at fifty years old. Dress yourself fine, where others are fine ; and plain, where others are plain ; but take care, always, that your clothes are well made and fit you, for otherwise they will give you a very awkward air. When you are once well dressed, for the day, think no more of it afterward j and, without any stiffness for fear of 94 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ discomposing that dress, let all your motions be as easy and natural as if you had no clothes on at all. So much for dress, which I maintain to be a thing of consequence in the polite world. [Dec. 30, 1748.] A Gentleman's Pleasures. — Dear Boy : — This letter will, I believe, still find you at Venice, in all the dissipation of masquerades, ridottos, operas, etc. : with all my heart ; they are decent evening amusements, and very properly succeed that serious application to which I am sure you devote your morn- ings. There are liberal and illiberal pleasures, as well as liberal and illiberal arts. There are some pleasures that degrade a gentleman, as much as some trades could do. Sottish drinking. In- discriminate gluttony, driving coaches, 95 ^ Selections rustic sports, such as fox-chases, horse- races, etc., arc, in my opinion, infinitely below the honest and industrious pro- fessions of a tailor, and a shoemaker, which are said to deroger. \_Jpri/ 19, 1749-] Music — Fiddling. — I cannot help cautioning you against giving into those (I will call them illiberal) pleasures (though music is commonly reckoned one of the liberal arts) to the degree that most of your countrymen do, when they travel in Italy. If you love music, hear it ; go to operas, concerts, and pay fiddlers to play to you ; but I insist upon your neither piping nor fiddling yourself. It puts a gentleman in a very frivolous, contemptible light ; brings him into a great deal of bad company ; and takes up a great deal of 96 Lord Chesterfield's Letters h -jt^ time, which might he much better em- ployed. Few things would mortify me more, than to see you bearing a part in a concert, with a fiddle under your chin, or a pipe in your mouth. \^April 19, 1 749-] Manieres. — By manieres^ I do not mean bare common civility j everybody must have that, who would not be kicked out o^ company : but I mean en- gaging, insinuating, shining manners ; a distinguished politeness, an almost irresistible address \ a superior grace- fulness in all you say and do. It is this alone that can give all your other talents their full lustre and value ; and, consequently, it is this which should now be the principal object of your attention. Observe minutely, where- ever you go, the allowed and estab- 97 ^ Selections lished morals of good breeding, and form yourself upon them. Whatever pleases you most, in others, will Infal- libly please others, in you. I have often repeated this to you ; now Is your time of putting It in practice. ^Same date.'^ How TO Please. — You must not neglect your dress, neither, but take care to be bien mis. Pray send for the best operator for the teeth, at Turin, where I suppose there is some famous one ; and let him put yours In perfect order ; and then take care to keep them so, afterwards, yourself. You had very good teeth, and I hope they are so still ; but even those who have bad ones should keep them clean ; for a dirty mouth is, in my mind, ill manners. In short, neglect nothing that can 98 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ possibly please. A thousand nameless little things, which nobody can describe, but which everybody feels, conspire to form that whole of pleasing ; as the sev- eral pieces of a mosaic work, though separately of little beauty or value, when properly joined form those beau- tiful figures which please everybody. A look, a gesture, an attitude, a tone of voice, all bear their parts in the great work of pleasing. The art of pleasing is more particularly necessary in your intended profession, than, perhaps, in any other ; it is, in truth, the first half of your business ; for if you do not please the court you are sent to, you will be of very little use to the court you are sent from. Please the eves and the ears, they will introduce you to the heart ; and, nine times in ten, 99 ^ Selections the heart governs the understanding. [Alay 15, 1749.] Flattery. — I recommended to you, in my last, an innocent piece of art ; that of flattering people behind their backs, in presence of those who, to make their own court, much more than for your sake, will not fail to repeat, and even amplify the praise to the party concerned. This is, of all flattery, the most pleasing, and conse- quently the most effectual. There are other, and many other inoffensive arts of this kind, which are necessary in the course of the world, and which he who practises the earliest, will please the most, and rise the soonest. \_Afay 22, 1 749-] Temper. — The principal of these things, is the mastery of one's tem- 100 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ per, and that coolness of mind, and serenity of countenance, which hinders us from discovering, by words, actions, or even looks, those passions or sen- timents, by which we are inwardly moved or agitated ; and the discover); of which gives cooler and abler people such infinite advantages over us, not only in great business, but in all the most common occurrences of life. A man who does not possess himself enough to hear disagreeable things, without visible marks of anger and change of countenance, or agreeable ones without sudden bursts of joy and expansion of countenance, is at the mercy of every artful knave, or pert coxcomb : the former will provoke or please you by design, to catch unguarded words or looks ; by which he will easily lOI ^ Selections decipher the secrets of your heart, of which you should keep the key your- self, and trust it with no man living. [May 22, 1749.] Dissimulation. — It may be ob- jected, that I am now recommending dissimulation to you ; I both own and justify it. It has been long said, ^i nescit dissimulare nescit regnare : I go still farther, and say that without some dissimulation no busmess can be carried on at all. It is simulation that is false, mean, and criminal : that is the cun- ning which Lord Bacon calls crooked or left-handed wisdom, and which is never made use of but by those who have not true wisdom. And the same great man says that dissimulation is only to hide our own cards ; whereas simulation is put on in order to look 102 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ into other people's. Lord Boling- broke, in his " Idea of a Patriot King," which he has lately published, and v.'hich I will send you by the first opportunity, says, very justly, that simulation is a stiletto ; not only an unjust but an unlawful weapon, and the use of it very rarely to be excused, never justified. Whereas dissimulation is a shield, as secrecy is armour; and it is no more possible to preserve secrecy in ba.-iness, without some degree of dissimulation, than it is to succeed in business without secrecy. [Same date.] The Easy Moment. — Some people are to be reasoned, some flattered, some intimidated, and some teased into a thing ; but, in general, all are to be brought into it at last, if skilfully 103 -^ Selections applied to, properly managed, and iiide- fatigably attacked in their several weak places. The time should likewise be judiciously chosen : every man has his moUia tempora^ but that is far from being all day long ; and you would choose your time very ill, if you applied to a man about one business, when his head was full of another, or when his heart was full of grief, anger, or any other disagreeable sentiment. \^May 22, 1749.] Judge of Others b\ Yourself. — In order to judge of the inside of others, study your own ; for men in general are very much alike ; and though one has one prevailing passion, and another has another, yet their operations are much the same ; and whatever engages or disgusts, pleases, 104 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ or offends you in others will, mutath mutandis^ engage, disgust, please, or offend others, in you. \^Same date.~\ Sculpture and Painting. — You will examine, likewise, whether, in their groups, there be a unity of action, or proper relation ; a truth of dress and manners. Sculpture and painting are very justly called liberal arts ; a lively and strong imagination, together with a just observation, being absolutely necessary to excel in either : which, in my opinion, is by no means the case of music, though called a liberal art, and now in Italy placed even abo\e the other two : a proof of the decline of that country. A taste of sculpture and painting is, in my mind, as becoming as a taste of fiddling and piping is unbecoming a man of fashion. The 105 -^ Selections former is connected with history and poetry j the latter, with nothing, that I Ur.ow of, but bad company. YJune 22, 1749.] Trifles. — Great merit, or great failings, will make you respected or despised ; but trifles, little attentions, mere nothings, either done, or neg- lected, will make you either liked or disliked, in the general run of the world. Examine yourself, why you like such and such people, and dislike such and such others \ and you will find that those different sentiments pro- ceed from very slight causes. Moral virtues are the foundation of society in general, and of friendship in particular; but attentions, manners, and graces both adorn and strengthen them. \^uly 20, 1749.] 106 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ Earn Your Pleasures. — No man tastes pleasures truly, who does not earn them by previous business i and few people do business well, who do nothing else. Remember, that when I speak of pleasures, I always mean the elegant pleasures of a rational being, and not the brutal ones of a swine. I mean /a bonne chere^ short of gluttony ; wine, infinitely short of drunkenness J play, without the least gaming \ and gallantry, without de- bauchery. There is a line in all these things which men of sense, for greatei security, take care to keep a good deal on the right side of: for sickness, pain, contempt, and infamy lie immediately on the other side of it. Men of sense and merit in all other respects, may have had some of these failings 5 but 107 -^ Selections then those few examples, instead of inviting us to imitation, should only put us the more upon our guard against such weaknesses. Whoever thinks them fashionable will not be so him- self. I have often known a fashionable man have some one vice, but I never, in my life, knew a vicious man a fashionable man. Vice is as degrading as it is criminal. God bless you, my dear child ! [^ug, 7, 1749.] Dignity of Manners. — There is a certain dignity of manners absolutely necessary, to make even the most valuable character either respected or respectable. Horse-play, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, waggery, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree 108 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ of contempt. They compose at most a merry fellow ; and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable man. Indiscriminate familiarity either offends your superiors, or else dubs you their dependant, and led captain. It gives your inferiors just but troublesome and improper claims of equalitv. A joker is near akin to a buffoon ; and neither of them is the least related to wit. Whoever is admitted or sought for, in company, upon any other account than that of his merit and manners, is never respected there, but only made use of. We will have such-a-one, for he sings prettily; we will invite such- a-one to a ball, for he dances well ; we will have such -a-one to supper, for he is always joking and laughing ; we will ask another, because he plays deep at all 109 ^ Selections games, or because he can drink a great deal. These are vilifying distinctions, mortifying preferences, and exclude all ideas of esteem and regard. Whoever is had (as it is called) in company, for the sake of any one thing singly^ is singly that thing, and will never be considered in any other light ; consequently never respected, let his merits be what they will. \_^i Selections general expense, as it does upon his giving handsomely where it is proper to give at all. A man, for instance, who should give a servant four shil- lings would pass for covetous, while he who gave him a crown would be reckoned generous : so that the differ- ence of those two opposite characters turns upon one shilling. A man's character, in that particular, depends a great deal upon the report of his own servants ; a mere trifle above common wages makes their report favourable. Take care always to form your establishment so much within your income, as to leave a sufficient fund for unexpected contingencies, and a prudent liberality. There Is hardly a year, in any man's life, in which 154 Lord Chesterfield's Letters ^ a small sum of ready money may not be employed to great advantage/ ^ Upon the back of the original is written, in Mr. Stanhope's hand," Excellent maxims, but more calculated for the meridian of France or Spain, than of England." THE END. xss Remarciue Edition of Liters ary Masterpieces tiniforsn witK tKis voltixne jS/ JE^ ^ 1 Sonnets from the Portuguese l>y Elizabeth Barrett Browning. 2 Virginibus Puerisque By Robert Louis Stevenson. 3 Friendship and Love By Ralph Waldo Emerson 4 Heroism and Character By Ralph Waldo Emerson. 5 Poor Richard's Almanac By Benjamin Franklin. 6 The School for Scandal By Sheridan. 7 Destructions of Pompeii By Pliny and Bulwer. 8 Sir Roger de Coverley Papers By Addison. 9 Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius Selections. 10 Lord Chesterfield's Letters Selections. 1 1 Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam 12 Milton By Lord Macaulay. 13 Enoch Arden By Alfred, Lord Tennyson. 14 Rip Van Winkle and the Legend of Sleepy Hollow- By Washington Irving. 1 5 Rochefoucauld 's JT t t ims 16 Rab and His Friends By Dr. John Brown. 17 She Stoops to Conquer By Oliver GoH«mith. ^ Remarque Series 1 8 Old Christmas By Washington Irving. 19 Vision of Sir Launfal By James Russell Lowell. 20 Leaves of Grass Selections. By Walt Whitman. 21 Elegy and Other Poems By Thomas Gray. 22 Sweetness and Light By Matthew Arnold. 23 Golden Thoughts By Archbishop F^nelon. 24 Wit and Wisdom By Sidney Smith. 25 A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens. 26 Will 0' the Mill and Biographical Sketch By R. L. Stevenson. 27 Men and Women By Robert Browning. 28 Napoleon Addresses and Anecdotes 29 Pas3ion in the Desert, and an Episode in the Reign of Terror. Selected Prose Works of Honore de Balzac 30 Poems of Sentiment By Byron. 31 Some Fruits of Solitude. Reflections and Maxims By William Penn. 32 Letters to a Young Man About Town By William Makepeace Thackeray. 33 Golden Wings. A Prose Romance and a Poem By William Morris. 34 Selected Poems By John Boyle O'Reilly. 35 The Discourses of Epictetus Selections. Remarque Series ^ 36 Evangeline By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 37 The Holy Grail By Alfred, Lord Tennyson. 38 Atala By Franjois Rene Auguste Chateaubri- and. 39 Armande By Edmond and Jules de Goncourt. 40 Corsair and Lara By Lord Byron. 41 The Gold Bug By Edgar Allan Poe. 42 Juliet and Romeo From the Italian of Luigi da Porto. 43 L'Arlesienne By Alphonse Daudet. 44 Manon Lescaut. Vol. I. By Abbe Prevost. 45 Manon Lescaut. Vol. II. 46 Paul and Virginia By Bemardin de St. Pierre. 47 Peter Schlemihl By Adalbert von Chamisso^ 48 Werther By J. W. von Goethe. 49 Undine By Friedrich, Baroa de La Motte-Fou- que. 50 Tales of a Wayside Inn By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 51 King of the Golden River, The By John Ruskin. 52 Love Letters of a Violinist By Eric Mack ay. 53 Sketches of Young Couple3 By Charles Dickens. 54 Man Without a Country, The By Rev. Edward Everett Hale. Remarque Series 55 Snow-Bound By John Greenleaf "Whittier. 56 Salome By Oscar Wilde. 57 Ballad of Reading Gaol, The By Oscar Wilde. 58 Sesame and Lilies By John Ruskin. 59 Poems from Punch Selected by Rev. Albert E. Sims. 60 Lady Montagu Selected Letters. 61 Courtship of Miles Standish By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 62 Unto This Last By John Ruskin. 63 Duty of Happiness and Other Essays By Sir John Lubbock. 64 The Value of Time and Other Essays By Sir John Lubbock. 65 Ambition By Sir John Lubbock. 66 The Beauties of Nature By Sir John Lubbock. 67 A Little Book of Eastern Wisdom Collected by Claude Field. 68 A Little Book of Geiman Wisdom Collected by Claude Field. 60 Recessional and Departmental Ditties By Rndyard Kipling. 70 Vampire and Barrack Room Ballads By Rudyard Kipling. 0/Aer Titles in Preparation University of California SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY Return this material to the library from which it was borrowed. B 000 002 448 9