ARTEMUS 
 WA R D 
 
 CHARLES 
 WILSON 
 
 1 
 
 iAste 
 
 Written during 
 1858-1861 and 
 printed by the
 
 807.73 Browne, C. P. 
 
 B8l6L y Letters of Artemus 
 
 / Ward... 
 
 67)4.6 v
 

 
 An edition of one hundred and nineteen copies 
 
 printed in the month of June, 1900, 
 
 this being number
 
 
 i photograph l.y lames F. Ryder, 1857
 
 LETTERS 
 
 OF 
 
 ARTEMUS WARD 
 
 TO 
 
 CHARLES E. WILSON 
 1858-1861 
 
 CLEVELAND 
 THE ROWFANT CLUB 
 
 MCM 

 
 Introduction
 
 Introduction 
 
 CHARLES F. BROWN ("Arte- 
 mus Ward") was born in 
 Waterford, Oxford County, Me., in 
 1833. After obtaining such education 
 as the schools in his vicinity afforded, 
 he went to Norway, Me., to learn the 
 printer's trade.* He did not com 
 plete his apprenticeship there, being 
 of a roving disposition. He worked 
 for a time in a printing office at 
 Skowhegan and at Gardiner, Me., and 
 later drifted down to Boston where 
 he obtained a situation in the com- 
 
 *See note at the end of introduction. 
 7
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 posing room of the Carpet-Bag, pub 
 lished by Benj. P. Shillaber (Mrs. 
 Partington.) While employed in this 
 office he wrote his first article of any 
 pretensions, and shoved the copy 
 under Shillaber's sanctum door. He 
 was very much gratified, a few days 
 later, to see the copy come into the 
 composing room to be "set up"; and 
 being thus encouraged he wrote 
 another article which he told me was 
 rather historic in character, making 
 no attempt to be funny. Neither of 
 the articles was signed, but Shillaber 
 was satisfied that they were written 
 by someone in the office, and accord 
 ingly made inquiries resulting in 
 Brown's acknowledging that he wrote 
 them. Shillaber patted him on the 
 back, metaphorically speaking, told 
 him he manifestly had ability, and 
 
 8
 
 encouraged him to make literary 
 work a study and profession. After 
 leaving the Carpet-Bag office he 
 tramped west, bringing up after a 
 while at Cincinnati, where, I think, 
 he worked for a short time on one of 
 the Cincinnati papers. Noticing one 
 day an advertisement in one of the 
 local papers, "School-teacher wanted" 
 from some small place over in Ken 
 tucky, not far from Cincinnati, he 
 answered it and secured the position, 
 but only taught the school one week. 
 There were several big boys in the 
 school, and he learned from local 
 gossips that these young toughs had 
 licked every schoolmaster that had 
 attempted to "keep school" there for 
 several years previous. As Brown 
 was not very robust and had never 
 learned the manly art of self-defense, 
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward
 
 he concluded that the climate of that 
 
 Kentucky village would not exactly 
 
 Letters of suit him. At the close of school Fri- 
 
 Artemus 
 
 day night he packed his scanty ward- 
 
 Ward 
 
 robe in an old fashioned carpet-bag, 
 and without waiting to collect his 
 week's salary, he started early Sat 
 urday morning for Cincinnati. He 
 did not remain there long, however, 
 but pushed along up the Cincinnati, 
 Hamilton and Dayton R. R., stopped 
 a short time in Dayton and from 
 thence on to Springfield, where he 
 obtained a situation as compositor, 
 remaining there several weeks. His 
 next stopping-place was at Toledo, 
 where he obtained a situation as a 
 market reporter on the Toledo Com 
 mercial. It was on this paper that 
 his work as a writer really com 
 menced. When James D. Cleveland 
 
 10
 
 left the Plain Dealer to become 
 assistant clerk of the United States 
 District Court, we cast about to find Letters of 
 someone to succeed him. We had " 
 
 Ward 
 
 noticed some of Brown's items in the 
 Commercial, and at Mr. Gray's sug 
 gestion I wrote him, offering him the 
 position of local editor on the Plain 
 Dealer at ten dollars a week. He 
 accepted the offer and came to Cleve 
 land at once. This was I think in 
 1857 or '58. He did not write his 
 first Ward letter until he had been on 
 the Plain Dealer a year or more. 
 This letter was copied by newspapers 
 generally all through the country, 
 which encouraged him to write suc 
 ceeding ones. 
 
 CHAS. E. WILSON. 
 
 Hartford, Conn., March 3, 1900. 
 
 n
 
 Note
 
 Note 
 
 (Copy of a communication from 
 Dr. J. C. Gallison of Franklin, Mass., 
 to the Norway (Maine) Advertiser 
 the newspaper on which Chas. F. 
 Brown (Artemus Ward) learned to 
 set type. Dr. Gallison was contem 
 porary with Brown as an apprentice 
 in the Advertiser office. ) 
 
 October 4, 1895. 
 ARTEMUS WARD'S "DEN." 
 
 Dear Advertiser: I was very much inter 
 ested in Dr. Bradbury's account of the life of 
 Artemus Ward in Norway. And right here let' 
 me express my appreciation of the Doctor's won 
 derful sketches of "Norway in the Forties." 
 I have read them with unflagging interest,
 
 ever increasing wonder at their accuracy and 
 
 evidences of painstaking research. A labor of 
 
 love surely, but one whose results should be 
 
 Letters of preserved in a more permanent form than in 
 
 Artemus the columns of a weekly newspaper. The old 
 
 Ward residents of the town owe a debt of gratitude 
 
 to the author of "Norway in the Forties." 
 
 I was much amused by the Doctor's des 
 cription of the little dingy room occupied by 
 "Artemus" in the old Advertiser office. 
 How well I recollect the room ! It was for a 
 long time my "den" in Norway while printer's 
 devil in the now famous printing office. 
 
 A rickety old cord bedstead, rheumatic 
 and complaining; a straw "tick" of very 
 ancient lineage, the very one upon which 
 "Artemus" reposed his lengthened limbs; a 
 bottomless chair; a fragment of "looking 
 glass" pasted upon the wall; a bottle or two 
 for candle sticks, made up the furnishing of 
 the room. The remaining space was occupied 
 by a large table or bench, upon which was kept 
 the spare paper for job work and the Advertiser 
 for the coming week; disabled old "galleys," 
 ancient "cases," the "hell-box," the "ribs 
 and trucks" of a defunct hand press, over 
 which we tumbled dark nights, filled the lit 
 tle room until there was barely space enough 
 for the repose of the lamps of the office ! 
 
 16
 
 I well recollect a visit made to the Adver 
 tiser office by "Artemus" and his brother, 
 ( Cyrus, I think, was he not editor of the 
 New Bedford Standard?) As a boy I neglected Letters of 
 my "stick" and "copy" to listen to the rich, Artemus 
 rare and racy fun of the brothers, sitting in the Ward 
 corner sanctum of "Boss" Millett, who was by 
 no means slow in contributing his share of the 
 quiet humor and brilliant wit. 
 
 The whole office was in an uproar of broad 
 laughter ; and I can see the genial Charlie 
 Thompson, the foreman, his long figure con 
 vulsed with merriment! "Artemus" was 
 extremely droll, but to my mind, the brother, 
 with his drawling voice and quaint humor, 
 was many laps ahead ! 
 
 It was about this time that Mark H. Dunnell 
 was a candidate for representative to the Legis 
 lature from Norway. He made the "speech of 
 his life" one evening in Denison's Hall, in 
 which he set forth in lurid colors the fearful 
 condition of the country in general, and of Nor 
 way in particular ! One of the brothers Brown 
 Cyrus (?) I think, but may have been "Arte 
 mus," reported the speech for the Advertiser. 
 A more telling adverse report was never written. 
 It abounded in ridicule, rollicking fun, and 
 side-splitting jokes. It convulsed the town, 
 and came near defeating the doughty Mark !
 
 PLAIN DEALER, July 23, 1858. 
 DEAR CHARLEY : 
 
 I have nothing to write about, 
 which accounts for my writing, for if 
 I had anything particular to write 
 about, it would be just like me, as 
 you know, not to write. All right, 
 anyhow. 
 
 We are getting along finely, both 
 at the chateau and the office. George 
 takes hold of business readily, and is 
 doing firstrate. Of course we all miss 
 you vastly, but we derive consolation 
 in the belief that you are picking up 
 at the rate of about four pounds and
 
 a half a day, and that you are enjoy 
 ing yourself amazingly well. So 
 
 Letters of mote it be. 
 
 Artemus 
 
 By the way I don't see how you 
 
 Ward 
 
 can do all you have to do in two 
 weeks, and if I were you I would 
 extend the trip a week or so longer 
 than you calculated. I am sure your 
 wife takes this view of it. It is none 
 of my business, and that is why I 
 speak of it. I should take my time, 
 and rest assured we will try hard to 
 keep things straight. 
 
 Everything is excessively dull. 
 The city seems to be rapidly subsiding 
 into a sort of cow pasture, and will, 
 I think, have to be fenced in soon. 
 Briggs is all right, alternating as 
 usual between gushing gaiety and 
 graveyard glumness. The"Nevvy" 
 has found out all about squares and
 
 that sort of thing, and converses 
 thereon in a startlingly dignified man 
 ner. Your wife is quite well so are Letters of 
 
 Cordelia and Young. As for myself, " 
 
 Ward 
 
 I can truly say, in the admired lan 
 guage of David Copperfield, that I 
 was "neverberrer." F. W. goes to 
 Superior next week. Drop us a line 
 telling how you feel, "and also any 
 other information of a commercial 
 and agricultural interest." 
 Truly Yrs. ever, 
 
 C. F. BROWN.
 
 II
 
 II 
 
 LIMA, OHIO, Dec. 7th, 1860. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 Send all letters, papers, etc. that 
 may have come to me to me at Rus 
 sell House, Detroit, immediately. I 
 presume Vanity Fair has sent you 
 $20. Please write me at Detroit 
 immediately, giving all the news. 
 Have had a first-rate time, but may 
 want you to send that on soon. Will 
 see at Detroit, and will write you 
 from there. 
 
 Ever yours, 
 
 C. F. BROWN.
 
 Ill
 
 Ill 
 
 DETROIT, Dec. llth, 1860. 
 D r - CHARLIE : 
 
 Your favor with several other 
 favors reached me this evening, and 
 were most gladly read. A man don't 
 know how good letters are until he is 
 among strangers, tho. I am scarcely 
 among strangers after all. I find 
 friends all around enthusiastic ones. 
 Here they are very numerous. 
 
 I suspected Griswold would succeed 
 into getting in the P. D. He is quite 
 welcome. I have no jealousy. Twice 
 the salary would not induce me to 
 return now, believe me. Griswold, 
 
 31
 
 Stow and the Deacon! My God! 
 
 but fortunately they can't trouble me. 
 
 Letters of My heart bleeds for you. I heard of 
 
 Artemus , , 
 
 a man once who was shut up among 
 Ward 
 
 a party of dangerous lunatics and 
 idiots, but his case wasn't a circum 
 stance to yours. 
 
 Vanity Fair should send you $20. 
 I shall write him again. I think 
 Derby & Jackson will publish for me. 
 Since I left Cleveland I have had sev 
 eral overtures from N. Y. publishing 
 houses or rather I found letters from 
 several on my arrival here. I shall 
 go on in about a month perhaps 
 less. 
 
 I have a letter from my mother. 
 She is deeply afflicted, as I antici 
 pated, and her troubles are more nor 
 what she can endure. She has been 
 this way before and I guess she'll 
 
 32
 
 come out all straight. She says she 
 
 hasn't received a single paper I sent 
 
 her containing accounts of my pre- Letters of 
 
 sentation, &co. For God's sake, if /*""* 
 
 Ward 
 
 you love me, send her a Leader, Plain 
 Dealer and Herald what had said 
 accounts. Direct Mrs. Caroline E. 
 Brown, Waterford, Oxford County, 
 Maine. She says my papers proba 
 bly went to Waterville, which I can 
 not understand. Please get the di 
 rection right. I am troubling you 
 much but will repay if I ever can. 
 
 I paid Hoyt a day or two before I 
 left. I am certain of this. I regret 
 to say that his recollection is not very 
 clear in regard to matters of this kind. 
 I borrowed $2.00 of him once but 
 when I went to pay him he said he 
 had never loaned it to me ! I suc 
 ceeded in forcing it upon him. He 
 
 33 
 
 *.- IE-
 
 can sculp first rate but his memory 
 
 fails him in money matters. As for 
 
 Letters of McGuire tell him the Panic has got 
 
 Artemus and th t j j t wort h a rf d O r a 
 
 Ward 
 
 dollar. Tell him there is some mis 
 take about it. 
 
 I have advertised Dodge big here. 
 He told me to sink one hundred and 
 fifty dollars and have sunk it. If any 
 body can sink a hundred and fifty dol 
 lars quicker than I can, I should like 
 to see him. In some respects this trip 
 will do me good. I feel more healthy 
 and I have formed many valuable 
 acquaintances. I will write you again 
 from Jackson or 'long there some 
 where. I shall write to "Vanity Fair" 
 at once, about money. Love to Less. 
 Who copies the Wards in the Plain 
 
 Dealer? , 
 
 Ever yours Truly, 
 
 C. F. BROWN. 
 
 34
 
 IV
 
 IV 
 
 CHICAGO, Dec. 22/50. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 I have cut loose from the " Concert 
 business." I packed Dodge's bag 
 gage very carefully at Niles yester 
 day, had it safely stored away sub 
 ject to his order, wrote him that 
 sickness in my family demanded my 
 immediate presence at home, and 
 came on here last night. On the cars 
 I encountered the Chicago Academy 
 of Science, some 100 ladies and gen 
 tlemen, who were returning from an 
 excursion to Ann Arbor. They made 
 an immense splurge over me and 
 
 37
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 elected me an honorary member of 
 the society amidst "loud applause." 
 I returned thanks in a "few brief 
 remarks." The Chicago papers will 
 doubtless have accounts of it. The 
 Society is composed of eminent geo 
 logists, astronomers, etc. first-rate 
 people. Devilish pretty girls among 
 them too. I go to Pittsburgh on 
 Monday thence to Philadelphia and 
 thence to New York. I have money 
 enough for the present but may want 
 you to send on the "Vanity Fair" 
 fund (I take it for granted Stephens 
 has sent you pay for three letters) at 
 Pittsburgh. I will write you from 
 that place. Just write me at once, 
 please, at Pittsburgh, care of "Chron 
 icle" office, giving all the news, but 
 don't send the money until I write 
 for it.
 
 You know what a vindictive devil 
 Dodge is and I expect he will raise 
 a jolly breeze over my leaving him, 
 tho. I can't see wherein I have acted 
 dishonorably. I rely on your assis 
 tance in setting me right before my 
 Cleveland friends, provided Dodge 
 (as he may) tries to make them think 
 I acted dishonorably toward him. 
 But the folly the madness, of con 
 tinuing with him grew every day 
 more and more apparent, and I deter 
 mined to cut loose at all hazards. If 
 he is wise he will be satisfied with the 
 explanation I gave him. All this is 
 of course strictly confidential, between 
 you and me. 
 
 I have had a nice time during my 
 trip. Have made many valuable 
 friends, seen a new and splendid coun 
 try, and picked up withal numerous 
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 39
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 good things. My last letter in " Van 
 ity" ( "Seeing Forrest" ) was rather 
 flat, but I think my next one will be 
 fair. It should appear next week. 
 
 How are things in Cleveland ? 
 What's the news generally ? Love to 
 Less be sure and write me at Pitts 
 burgh on receipt of this and believe 
 me 
 
 Ever yours, Truly 
 
 CHARLES F. BROWN. 
 
 4 o
 
 V
 
 Office of VANITY FAIR 
 
 113 Nassau Street 
 LOUIS H. STEPHENS, Publisher for the Proprietors. 
 
 NEW YORK, Jan. 9, 1861. 
 DEAR CHARLIE: 
 
 The letter I sent you several days 
 since doubtless reached you and I 
 hope to get an answer shortly. I 
 now write to ask you to hunt up, cut 
 out and send me my burlesque des 
 cription of the play of "John Brown," 
 which was brought out about a year 
 since, I think at the Cleveland Theater. 
 Send also in same letter the check 
 Stephens sent to you. I want to bank 
 
 43
 
 Letters of 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 an even hundred here as a resevre 
 fund, and find I am short that amount. 
 My book will positively appear in 
 the Spring, published by Derby & 
 Jackson, 498 Broadway, and unques 
 tionably the best house in the city. 
 They sent their agent to me almost 
 as soon as I reached the city, and 
 to-day I had an interview with Mr. 
 Derby. I have not closed with him 
 but he speaks in the most encouraging 
 manner of the enterprize, and they all 
 tell me he will make me a good offer. 
 From his anxiety to publish for me I 
 am confident he regards the success of 
 the book a sure thing. I showed him 
 Hoyt's illustrations and he said they 
 were capital better far than those in 
 "Vanity Fair." Tell Hoyt this. It 
 was a very high compliment, as Derby 
 is confessedly at the head of the book 
 business here. 
 
 44
 
 I am all right. Get along just as 
 easy as rolling off a log. I dare not 
 tell you all the fine things that have 
 happened to me, for fear you may 
 think I blow, but I certainly start out 
 here under brilliant auspices. Instead 
 of asking favors they are offered to 
 me. Hence a situation was offered 
 me by Vanity Fair and Derby made 
 extra efforts to get me to promise 
 my book to him. This is pleasant. 
 
 By the way Vanity Fair is set up 
 by girls, and printing office is next 
 to the editorial office. They are dev 
 ilish fine girls, and I took two of 
 them to Bryant's last night, but I am 
 a man of strict honor. 
 
 Write soon. 
 
 Ever Truly Yours, 
 
 C. F. BROWN. 
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 45
 
 P. S. Your letter has come to 
 hand. It is utterly unaccountable 
 Letters of to me why Gray should have any ill- 
 feeling towards me. But let it slide. 
 
 Ward 
 
 Thank you for letter to Brown. 
 Shall see him sure. Since writing 
 the above I've seen Derby again. He 
 wants to see the "Three Tigers of the 
 Cleveland Press." Will you also 
 hunt that up and send it. I am a 
 heap of trouble, I know, but can't 
 help it. Will do as much for you if 
 ever I can. 
 
 4 6
 
 VI
 
 VI 
 
 Office of VANITY FAIR 
 
 113 Nassau Street 
 
 NEW YORK, Jany. 221861. 
 DEAR CHARLIE 
 
 Your favor with "draughts" & 
 
 money is at hand 
 
 I am now rooming with the pub 
 lisher of V. F. at No. 28 East 28th 
 St. We have a parlor, bath-room, 
 closets, fire, gas and breakfast sent to 
 room for $4. a week each. Our din 
 ners we get down town, a shilling get 
 ting a beefsteak pie or a piece of 
 good "baked beef." The accomoda- 
 tions at East 28th St. are really fine, 
 
 49
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 and better I imagine than could be 
 had in Cleveland for same price. I 
 mention these things so that if you 
 come on here by and by as I hope 
 you will, come to the office and go 
 home with me. I can keep you like a 
 fighting cock for a few shillings a 
 day. Such beef as we get at Crook 
 & Duffs you never saw since God 
 made you. 
 
 Tell "Less" I got his letter and 
 papers by Express. Thanks, will 
 write him soon. He is your Nephew 
 and a ornament to his sex. I see 
 people from the west occasionally. 
 They come up to the office in large 
 numbers sometimes, much to my 
 sorrow gratification. 
 
 I'm glad Alphonso is exerting 
 himself, a man ought to for $6. a 
 week.
 
 I shall go to Fall River Saturday 
 night by boat and may go up to 
 Willimantic, think I shall. The fac 
 tory owners up there will probably 
 turn out and receive me with the 
 Band. 
 
 Write when you get time. Give 
 my love to J. B.* Altho an English 
 wretch he is one of the best men I 
 ever knew and I hope he will live to 
 expectorate on the tombs of all his 
 enemies, if he has any. 
 
 " Ever of thee" 
 
 A. WARD. 
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 *James Brokenshire, commercial editor of 
 the Plain Dealer.
 
 VII
 
 VII 
 
 NEW YORK, Feb. 2, 1861. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 Your last came duly to hand. I 
 haven't seen Brown yet called once 
 but he wasn't in. Shall see him 
 sure. 
 
 Tell Jule I have "gone back on" 
 suppers, the vigorous meals I absorb 
 at 3 p. m. daily, being entirely ade 
 quate for my sustenance. I " reach 
 for the bread" just as I did in the 
 palmy days of Wilson's tavern, and 
 pour out my own tea scalded a 
 waiter the other night pretty bad, but 
 he excused me. 
 
 55
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 I go east first of March to see Car 
 oline. Going or coming I shall visit 
 Willimantic. Shall go to " Woosup " 
 likewise, as I must see "Orry" and 
 Jenny. [ My sister and her husband. 
 C. E. W.] 
 
 Caroline is getting reconciled to 
 my change of location. Her late let 
 ters are quite cheerful. 
 
 Now I blush as I write it I feel 
 that I am coming it altogether too 
 strong on you but do hunt up my 
 "Three Tigers of the Cleveland Press" 
 and send it in a letter. The piece 
 was not in the bundle Less. sent. 
 The piece is valuable to me. In 
 short, without the piece I shall be 
 unhappy, and prithee send her on. 
 Set some of the boys in the mailing 
 department to work hunting it up, 
 and my children's children shall lisp
 
 your name with heartfelt affection. 
 
 Bully Boy ! As I was quietly taking 
 
 some coffee and cakes with Henry Letters of 
 
 Ward Beecher at Smith's in Chatham " 
 
 Ward 
 
 street, the other night, after the Bow 
 ery was out, he accidentally alluded 
 to you. "Wilson," says he, "is a 
 young man of much promise. He is 
 a good bookkeepist and his balance 
 sheets are always correct. I like 
 Wilson." He also spoke of Less, 
 but I am sorry to say he was not 
 very complimentary. "Lester," says 
 Mr. Beecher, "will come to the gal 
 lows in about two years if he keeps 
 on." "What do you think of Bro- 
 kenshire, Henry ?" says I. "A good 
 man, Sir," said Mr. Beecher, "A 
 very good man indeed, tho' he's a 
 d d Englishman." On getting up 
 Mr. Beecher insisted on allowing me 
 
 57
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 to pay for the coffee and cakes 12 
 cents. 
 
 I anticipate considerable fun in my 
 forthcoming trip to the East, tho. my 
 stay will necessarily be short. 
 
 By the way, love to the ever 
 blooming Briggs. Shall write him 
 soon. Did he get the 516,000,000 
 and box of jewels I sent him the 
 other day ? 
 
 Send the "Tigers." I shall soon 
 cease troubling you I hope. And 
 now farewell. A fond embrace. A 
 few natural tears, and some wild 
 groans ! There, there, it's over now. 
 Adoo ! Adoo ! 
 
 Your'n ever 
 
 A. WARD.
 
 VIII
 
 VIII 
 
 NEW YORK, May 16 th - 1861. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 I must trouble you again. Will 
 you forward my trunk and box at 
 once by U. S. express. If Barney is 
 still identified with that institution 
 perhaps he can "deadhead" them 
 through for me, if it is convenient 
 for you to see him. At all events, 
 please forward at once. I hate to 
 bother you but there is no one else 
 upon whom I can call. 
 
 The times are rather severe but we 
 shall weather the gale. My publish- 
 
 61
 
 Letters of 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 ers are holding the "Ward" book 
 back in the hope of better times. It 
 would be folly to issue it now. I am 
 now the managing Ed. of "Vanity 
 Fair" and my duties have materially 
 increased. Contrary to my expecta 
 tion and hope, I shall be unable to 
 visit the West this season. New 
 York is severe on a man's feelings 
 in Summer time, but I think of tak 
 ing board in Rahway, N. J., for the 
 summer. It is twenty miles distant, 
 a delightful village, and abounds in 
 female society of first-class moral 
 character, the refining influence of 
 which I have already felt. I am 
 popular in Jersey. They like me for 
 my winning ways. 
 
 I am making influential friends 
 fast. I have altered my views of 
 some things and have courted the 
 
 62
 
 friendship of men whose friendship is 
 
 worth having. I have eschewed fast 
 
 society and was never so steady in Letters of 
 
 my life. Indeed. I am compelled " 
 
 Ward 
 
 to be. Promptness and faithfulness 
 in business here are implicitly de 
 manded. It is the greatest mistake 
 in the world to suppose that a man 
 can raise the d 1 in New York and 
 still occupy a responsible business 
 position. I have not made anything 
 stunningly gorgeous in the way of 
 money, but I believe my prospects 
 are good. I should be rejoiced to 
 see you here, and to pay back a 
 few of the many kindnesses you 
 have shown me in "the happy days 
 agone." 
 
 I am more and more convinced 
 that I acted wisely in leaving Cleve 
 land. I had accomplished all I could 
 
 63
 
 there. It is a wild, mad jumble here, 
 but those who take care of them- 
 
 Letters of selves usually come out all right. 
 Artemus 
 
 generally i 
 
 Ward 
 
 sincerely and very deeply sympathise 
 with Brokenshire in his great mis 
 fortune. I never read of any similar 
 accident which affected me so much. 
 I thought of writing him a letter of 
 condolence but hesitated for fear it 
 might be out of place to do so. I 
 respect him far more than he may 
 have been led to believe by my eccen 
 tric bearing towards him. He is a 
 man, and I have often envied him 
 the noble qualities of head and heart 
 with which he is so decidedly gifted. 
 You must sadly miss his sunny pres 
 ence in the office. I hope he is im 
 proving fast I know he bears it gal 
 lantly, hopefully like a true man as 
 
 6 4
 
 he is. Will you do me the favor to 
 tell him how sincerely I sympathise 
 with him ? 
 
 I suppose Less, is with you yet, or 
 is he in the P. D.? He seems to 
 have forgotten me. Tell him either 
 to write or go to the d 1. 
 
 How's J. W.? and the deacon ? and 
 Gris ? Stow and the rest. I see Bon- 
 ton occasionally. He speaks in the 
 most flattering manner of Gray. 
 
 Please attend to the request ex 
 pressed in the beginning of this 
 write a good long letter and believe 
 me 
 
 Yours Ever 
 
 CHARLES F. BROWN. 
 
 Letters of - 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 LIBRARY C? T:-. 
 WALT D5SNEY ST'J
 
 IX
 
 IX 
 
 NEW YORK, May 24, 1861. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 The trunk and box reached me all 
 O.K. yesterday. I am very much 
 obliged to you. It didn't occur to 
 me when I wrote, as it has since, 
 that the getting of the things to the 
 express office might subject you to 
 some expense. If it cost anything 
 send "bill" or ch'g till I see you. 
 I have bothered you a good deal, and 
 I hope you understand that you can 
 draw on me ad libitum for any favors 
 I can do you here. Will tear my 
 shirt for you if necessary 
 
 69
 
 Although I am straight as a string 
 
 generally my passion for females is 
 
 Letters of alas ! as strong as ever, and I fall 
 
 in love with a rapidity that would 
 
 Ward 
 
 be appalling if I wasn't so well 
 acquainted with myself. Haven't got 
 into any scrapes yet, tho. I've had 
 some "narrer scapes." New Jersey 
 is a nice place and if you will come 
 down I'll show you some gay females 
 whose parents are wealthy and live 
 on the fat of the land. 
 
 New York is beginning to scorch 
 some. Truly say it is blazing hot 
 here in the summer. So I shall hie 
 me away to Jersey ere long, amid 
 flowers, lambkins and the pretty little 
 birds. Well, I will, hoss. 
 
 Is it a fact that Hoyt the sculpist 
 has gone to the wars ? I don't know 
 how it is, but something within tells 
 
 70
 
 me, in a still small voice, that I am 
 better adapted for the Home Guard 
 than anything else. I hope to hear Letters of 
 
 ,. i Artemus 
 
 from vou soon, and am 
 
 Ward 
 
 Ever Yours Truly 
 
 CHARLES F. BROWN.
 
 X 
 
 NEW YORK, Sept. 26, 1861. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 I got home a week ago, hale and 
 hearty. I was in Cortland, N. Y., 
 four days, and as I had written 
 Stephens I was going there, he sent 
 me $10 there instead of at Cleveland, 
 though I had not requested him to 
 do so. It was fortunate he did, as I 
 should have been broke. I am forced 
 much against my inclination, to ask 
 an extension on the money you loaned 
 me for a very few weeks. A few 
 days before I left here I took my 
 money from the bank ( $100 ) and 
 loaned it to a responsible party for 
 
 75
 
 three months, and I have nothing- but 
 
 my salary to fall back upon. In a 
 
 Letters of very short time say four weeks 
 
 Artemus T . . , ... 
 
 . , 1 will square vour ace t. But if you 
 
 Ward * 
 
 must have it before then, say so, and 
 I will raise it for you or perish in the 
 attempt. So much for that. I feel 
 first-rate. My trip did me good. I 
 had a great time at Cortland. Every 
 thing was lovely. 
 
 New York is lively enough for 
 practical purposes, the many rumors 
 to the contrary notwithstanding. 
 
 In regard to those orders on the 
 Mercantile and Westchester, I have 
 not seen the latter yet. I called 
 on the former. He was angry and 
 said it had done him more harm than 
 good. Among other remarks he said 
 "d n the papers, all of 'em!" I 
 said "Certainly," but invited his atten- 
 
 76
 
 tion to the fact that his signature 
 was attached to the document in a 
 regular business way, and that I 
 couldn't well perceive how he could 
 repudiate. He said I might come 
 and board it out, but as his face was 
 flushed with anger, I don't think I 
 shall. I am afraid he would make it 
 too lively for me. But I may be able 
 to sell the orders. If I do not I will 
 enclose them to you. Please do not 
 say anything about my being your 
 debtor. Of course you wouldn't, but 
 I am sensitive on these matters. If I 
 ever start on another pleasure tour 
 without plenty of money I hope 
 somebody will kick me in the rear 
 severely. Kind regards to Jule, Less, 
 &c. & believe me 
 
 Yours Ever 
 Write soon. C. F. BROWN. 
 
 Letters of 
 
 Artemus 
 
 Ward 
 
 77
 
 XI
 
 XI 
 
 NEW YORK, Jan. 2, 1862. 
 DEAR CHARLIE : 
 
 I got your letter and those you for 
 warded at Pittsburgh. From Pitts 
 burgh I went to Philadelphia, where 
 I met Dixey of Sanford's troupe, who 
 made me stay two days with him at 
 his house. He lives in elegant style, 
 has a nice wife and little girl, and 
 altogether I never spent a happier 
 two days. All the railroad fare I 
 had to pay between Chicago and New 
 York was 75 cents from Brunswick, 
 N. J. The conductor to that point 
 "deadheaded" me at the special 
 
 81
 
 request of S. S. Sanford, "delineator 
 
 of negro character." So you see it is a 
 
 Letters of good thing sometimes to have friends 
 
 Artemus . ,, T , ,. 
 
 ' among nigger singers. in addi 
 
 tion to this good luck I must mention 
 that Ed. Bacon, formerly of C. & P. 
 R. R. and now general ticket agt. at 
 Pittsburgh, gave me a diamond ring 
 worth $60 when I parted with him. 
 Well, here I am at last. I arrived 
 at 4 o'clock Tuesday morning and 
 went to bed. Got up at 1 and went 
 up town. Couldn't see anybody and 
 felt blue. Went to bed early. Got 
 up this morning and went to " Vanity 
 Fair" office. Good fellows glad to 
 see me. Talked ten minutes with 
 them and made a permanent engage 
 ment at $20 a week as one of the edi 
 tors of the paper. Mr. Leland is 
 editor-in-chief. First rate fellow, I 
 
 82
 
 judge. I am to be there promptly at 
 10 ock a. m. and go away at half- 
 past three. I am to read all the ex- Letters of 
 changes and cut out everything of remu3 
 
 Ward 
 
 which anything can be made. Am to 
 write what I want to and ''Wards" 
 when I feel like it. As you will see 
 this will consume only a small por 
 tion of my time, and I can doubtless 
 make ten dollars or so a week extra 
 writing for other papers. At least I 
 am told I can. I shall board where 
 I now am ( the Western Hotel ) for 
 the present $7 a week with good 
 room. I think I can live cheaper 
 than this when I learn the ropes, but 
 the landlord is a particular friend of 
 mine and will treat me princely. I 
 am already on the free-list at the 
 minstrels and circus. Shall "fetch" 
 the theaters directly. Shall keep 
 
 83
 
 away from the harlots for the pres 
 ent, as I satisfied myself in this re- 
 Letters of spect while on my western tour. I 
 have thus told vou all about myself! 
 
 Ward 
 
 I am certainly a lucky cuss. I don't 
 understand it myself, but it is so. 
 Thing's are new to me here now, and 
 I shall proceed cautiously. But as 
 soon as I get started I will make 
 things whiz, so to speak. I intend 
 to know everybody on Broadway in 
 about six months. I shall withhold 
 my book for the present, until the 
 d d panic subsides. Have you 
 heard from Dodge yet ? Is he " howl 
 ing" anywhere, yet? I shall write 
 him a long, explanatory letter to 
 morrow. I am speaking of myself 
 principally in this letter, I see, but I 
 know you feel an interest in my 
 movements, and I feel so elated over 
 
 84
 
 my prospects that I restrain a little 
 self-glorification. Give my love to 
 Less. Tell him he's a splen-fellow 
 in legal point of view. I heard of 
 him in a foreign land. I may go to 
 Fall River in a few weeks to see my 
 brother, in which case I shall go over 
 to Connecticut and see the folks. 
 
 Wont you have this published in 
 the P. Dealer : 
 
 Letters of 
 Art emus 
 Ward 
 
 8ff CHARLES F. BROWN This gentle 
 man, widely known as the former local of 
 this paper, has at last reached New York 
 and joined the editorial corps of Vanity 
 Fair. 
 
 As I don't like to make the request 
 myself, I will feel obliged if you will 
 copy the above and hand it in. There 
 are several reasons why I don't wish 
 to ask a favor of Griswold. 
 
 85
 
 The check you received from 
 
 Stephens please keep until I call for 
 
 Letters of it. Write me soon, all the news. 
 
 nus , Kind regards to Tule and the baby. 
 
 Ward 
 
 and believe me 
 
 Ever Yours 
 
 C. F. BROWN. 
 
 ( Please send paper to me contain 
 ing above notice.) 
 
 86

 
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