t 'V LEGAL ftf OTHER LYRICS "I'M. MIX NO MORK WITH MKN AS I WAS WONT TO DO, NOR SHE THE DAYS AGAIN \\ URN THIS OI.I' WU; WAS NEW.'' LEGAL & OTHER LYRICS BY GEORGE OUTRAM CONTAINING A NUMBER OF NEW PIECES 8f FIFTEEN ILLUSTRATIONS BY EDMUND J. SULLIVAN T. N. FOULIS, PUBLISHER LONDON, EDINBURGH, ^BOSTON This work is published by T. N. FOUL1S LONDON: 91 Great Russell Street, W.C. EDINBURGH: 15 Frederick Street And may also be ordered through the following agencies where the work may be examined UNITED STATES : 2QA Beacon Street, Boston CANADA : 25 Richmond Street West, Toronto (The Oxford University Press) AUSTRALASIA : 204 Castle Street, Christchurch (G.J. Hicks) CAPE COLONY : Markhams Buildings, Adderley Street, Cape Town (C. R. Mellor) Published December 1916 Printed in Scotland by NS.II.L AND CO., LTD., PRINTERS, EDINBURGH LIST OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTORY NOTICE . . page I THE ANNUITY . 3 1 WISHES . . . . 37 THE FACULTY ROLL . . 4 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING . -49 SOUMIN AN' ROUMIN . . . 58 THE OLD TRUE BLUE . . . .62 THE SAUMON . . . . .66 THE PROCESS OF AUGMENTATION . . 68 THE LAW OF MARRIAGE . -83 THE REFORM BILL . . . . .86 JOHN AND JEAN ... -89 THE BANKS O 1 THE DEE . . . -95 THE PROCESS OF WAKENIN 1 . . -96 CESSIO BONORUM ... -99 LADY ! THINE EYE IS BRIGHT . . 103 WHAT WILL I DO GIN MY DOGGIE DEE ? . . 104 ELSIE ...... 106 DUBBYSIDE . . . . . IO8 WHEN THIS OLD WIG WAS NEW . . . IIO THE SIGN O' THE CRAW . . -113 MY WIFE HAS COME OWER TO CURE ME . . 11$ DRINKIN' DRAMS . . . . . 117 LIST OF CONTENTS HERE I AM . . page 120 WE BE THREE POOR BARRISTERS . 122 THE LAWYER'S SUIT . . . .124 MY NANNIE . . . . .126 THE HOLY LOCH . . . . .128 INSURANCE . .129 IS THE HOUSE WARM YET ? . .130 AN APPEAL FROM THE SHERIFF . . -134 ON HOPE . . . . . .136 FORGET NOT ME . . . . .138 AE DAY I GOT MARRIED . . . -139 THE SWINE . . . . .141 FRAGMENTS . . . . .142 EPIGRAMS . . . . . -145 EPITAPHS . . . . . .147 D. O. HILL . . . . . -151 THE COLLECTOR . . . . . 152 WHEN WINDS WHISTLE SHRILL . . 1 54 WILL YE GANG Wl' ME . . . 1 56 THE RUINED FORT . . . .158 THE SONG OF MEMORY . . . -159 BONNIE MARY . . . . . l6l A LINNET WARBLED . . . .162 NOTES ON " THE FACULTY ROLL " . .165 LIST OF CONTENTS NOTES ON "THE MULTIPLEPOINDING" . page l8l NOTES ON " THE PROCESS OF AUGMENTATION " . 1 88 NOTES ON "THE LAW OF MARRIAGE" . . 191 NOTES ON "IS THE HOUSE WARM YET?" . 193 NOTES ON "APPEAL FROM THE SHERIFF" . 196 GLOSSARY . . . . -199 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS reproduced from drawings by EDMUND J. SULLIVAN " I'll mix no more with men As I was wont to do, Nor see the days again When this old wig was new." ' ' But comes as sure as Christmas comes- To ca' for her annuity. " " An' there she sits upon my back, A livin' perpetuity." ' ' It's pay me here an' pay me there An' pay me, pay me, evermair. " " Puir body ! she sune made her fu' purse a toom ane, By raising a Process o' Soumin an' Roumin." "Come, Buff and Blue chaps, here's my claw." " I jumpt when my hook on I felt something pookin'; But upon farther lookin' it proved to be a tree." " Tis fully twenty years since my stipend was augmented, A time of want and fears ! " frontispiece page 30 page 32 page 36 page 60 page 64 page 66 page So LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS " Leave them that kens to male' the laws An' while your hreeks will mend, man, Tust leave the nation to look to itsel', An' look you to your hinnerend, man." page 88 " Lady ! thine eye is bright Boast of it well." page 1 02 " Let others sing the graces an' roose the jolly faces O' a' the bonny lasses that ever were ava." page 112 " Ilka pap wi' the shool on the tap o' the mool, Wad forbid her frae comin" to cure me." page 1 14 " He's now as red's a rose, An' there's pimples on his nose, And in size it daily grows By drinkin' drams." page 116 " It's true that we can see Auld Nick, wi' gloatin' e'e, Just waitin' till he dee 'Mid frichts and d warns." page 1 1 8 ' ' But quo' I, ' I'll no marry again in a hurry, For I canna forget my dear Nannie that's gane ! ' " page 126 INTRODUCTORY NOTICE INTRODUCTORY NOTICE TO THE FIRST EDITION By the late HENRY GLASSFORD BELL, Esq. GEORGE OUTRAM was born on the 25th March 1805, at Clyde Iron- Works, in the vicinity of Glas- gow, his father being then the manager of these important works. In the course of a year or two, however, the family re- moved from Glasgow to Leith, Mr Outram, sen., having become partner in a mercantile house there. George received his early educa- tion in the High School of Leith ; and afterwards went through the regular curriculum of the University of Edinburgh. In 1827 he became a member of the Faculty of Advocates, and for the next ten years continued to attend the Parliament House, where his genial disposition and fund of quaint humour made him a great favourite with both Bench and Bar. Being, however, of a retiring, sensitive, and not over-active nature, Outram did not lay him- self out with much earnestness for legal prac- ticejandin 1 837heacceptedtheoffer, somewhat unexpectedly made to him, of theeditorship of the Glasgow Herald, then, as it has since con- tinued to be, the leading newspaper in the west INTRODUCTION of Scotland. He became also one of the pro- prietors, and settled down to his new duties for life. The Herald, at that time, was published only twice a week, and was conducted in a steady, quiet, andunpretentious manner, witha careful avoidance of any thing like an aggressive or innovating spirit. In politics it was mildly Conservative, but by no means slavishly so, as it ratherpiqued itself on maintaining acharacter of independence, and was on the whole conduct- ed with such tact and discrimination that it secured the confidence of the public, and in- creased in circulation and repute. Its editor loved what was old and pleasant and easy, and shrank, with a sort of humorous abhorrence, from what was novel and obtrusive, either in social or political life. Nevertheless, when occa- sion required, he showed both firmness and dis- crimination, and his judgment was seldom at fault in the numerous questions which force themselves on the attention of a public writer. Mr Outram had married before he left Edin- burgh, and in due course became the father of four sons, in whose education and upbringing he took the greatest possible interest, but one of whom only now survives.* He had one * He has now (1887) been dead several years. 2 INTRODUCTION daughter, who died in infancy. He resided, with much domesticenjoyment, in Glasgow or its neighbourhood for nineteen years. During thatperiodhe wonand retained, by his amiable manners and delightful flow of good-natured humour, the esteem and respect of all classes. He likewise experienced much pleasure in keep- ing up his acquaintance with his old friends and associates in Edinburgh, who had greatly regretted his separation from them, and were always glad to receive him with open arms. Latterly his constitution, which had never been very robust, gave way some what prema- turely, and he died at his country residence of Rosemore, on the Holy Loch, on 1 5 th Septem- ber 1856, in the fifty-second year of his age. He was buried in Warriston Cemetery, Edin- burgh; and left behind him, in the hearts of many attached friends, the memory of a most kindly, amiable, and gifted man. For George Outram possessed, in addition to his other qualifications, a spark of true and original Scottish genius, but for which the fore- goingbrief summary of his uneventful life would never have seen the light. This genius mani- fested itself chiefly in the production of songs and other lyrical pieces, mostly in the Scottish 3 INTRODUCTION but, in place of being written with any view to encourage bacchanalian habits, they tend to ex- pose the folly of such habits, and to turn them into ridicule. Here and there the author's keen senseof the ludicroushas induced acertain free- dom of expression, without which the thought would have lost its characteristic vigour. But the consciousness of a healthy moral tone re- mains throughout. Thisbrief Introductory Notice ought perhaps to stop here. But it has been suggested that one or two personal reminiscences of Outram may beadded,astending to bring out more ful- ly the genial character of theman'and the poet. His cast of mind and associations were es- sentially Scottish. He was, it is believed, only twice out of Scotland during his life, and that but for short periods. He was admirably versed in, and had a high appreciation of, the strength of his native Doric. He was also familiar with the peculiarities of Scottish character, some of which afforded him great amusement, whilst others inspired him with respect. These features of his mind and habits led him, not long after he went to reside in Glasgow, to conceive the idea of a "Scotch Denner," to be given in 6 INTRODUCTION his own house, as a purely national meal, to which each guest was to come in the costume of some favourite Scottish worthy, and which was to be a gathering ironically renewing the once popular lamentations over the Union with England, as destructive of the independence and ancient position of Scotland. The "den- ner," to which only a small and select party was invited, each of whom appeared in an historical character and dress, came offon 22nd July 1 844, being the 13 8th anniversity of the Treaty of Union. It had been a great amusement to Outram, in his leisure moments, to make ar- rangements for this banquet. He printed his letter of invitation of itself a curiosity a list of toasts and, by way of menu, a. small broch- ure , a copy of which was supplied to each of the guests, with the motto, "Syne there were pro- per stewards, cunning baxters, excellent cooks and potingars, with confections and drugs for their deserts. " Pitscottie, Edin. 1728, p. 174. The Letter of Invitation, List of Toasts, and the Brochure, are here given for the perusal of those who may be interested by a specimen of the genial humour which habitually pervaded the author's social intercourse with his friends. 7 INTRODUCTION INVITATION " RIGHT TRUSTIE FREEND, " Forgie me that I steer your memorie e'en now,anent that wearifu' Treaty o' Union wi' the Englishers, whilk, as ye weel ken, was subscrivit by the unworthy represent- atives of our forebears, on the 22nd day of July, A.D. 1706, in ane unhappie hour. For I do sae allenarlie wi' the intent that ye suld devise means to red us for aye of that wan- chancie covenant, the endurance whereof is re- garded by ilka leal-hearted Caledonian with never-devallin' scunner. Wherefor I earnestly entreatof you that,on Monday the 22nd of the present month, being the I38th anniversary of the foresaid dulefu' event, ye wald attend a great gatherin' o' Scotsmen, to be halden after the gude auld Scottish fashion, at Scott Street of Glasgow, whan it will be taen into cannie consideration how we may now best free our- sels o' that unnatural band, either by a back- spang, if we can sae far begunk the Southron, or by an evendown cassin o' the bargain, an' haudin' of our ain by the strong hand, if need be. An' to the intent that we maybe the better preparit for what may come, it is designit, on 8 INTRODUCTION the occasion of the said gathering that we sail subsist upon our ain national vivers allenarlie, an' sae pruive how far we can foregae the aids o' foreign countries in respect of our creature comforts, varyin' our fare wi' the flesh o' the red deer an'thetroutso'Lochleven,suppin' our ain Kail, Hotch Potch,or Cockieleekie, whiles pangin' oursels wi' haggis an' brose,an' whiles wi'sheep'sheadan'partanpies,rizzardhaddies, crappit heads an' scate-rumples, nowt's feet, kebbucks,scadlips, an' skink, forbye custocks, carlings,rifartsan'syboes,farles,fadgesan'ban- nocks,drammock,brochan an' powsowdie, and siklike washin' the same doun our craigs wi' nae foreign pushion, but allenarlie wi' our ain reamin' yill an' bellin' usquebaugh. "Trustin' that you, an' mony anither leal Scotsman, will forgather at the foresaid time an' place, to bend the bicker after the manner of our worthie forebears when guid auld Scot- land was a kingdom, ' ' I subscrieve myself, "Yours to command, "GEORGE OUTRAM. "Given at Scott Street of Glasgow, on the ele- venth day o' July, Anno Domini, mdcccxliv." 9 INTRODUCTION On the back of the letter, under the address, were the words : "Be this letter delivered with haste haste post haste ! Ride, villain, ride! For thy life for thy life for thy life!" The late Lord Cockburn threatened to inter- dict the treasonable meeting! But the guests, nevertheless, assembled, and found prepared for them the following bill of fare : ANE BUIK o' ANCIENT SCOTCH DISHES FOR THE GATHERIN'." TABLE I. (i) " There's peas intiFt, an? there's beans intift, An' there's carrots, an neeps, an 1 greens intift. (2) " Lang may she live, an' lang enjoy Ilk blessin' life can gie, Health, wealth, content, an' pleasour, An' cockie-leekie." TABLE II. (3) " Can ye tell me, fisher laddies, What' s gotten into the heads o' the haddies ?" (4) ' ' Stove him iveel wf wine an' spice, And butter in the bree; J'se warrant he'll ken neist time A feather frae a flee. " TABLE III. (5) " Fair fa' your honest, sonsieface, Great chieftain o' thepuddin' race." o (6) " John Anderson, my jo, Cum in as zegae by. An 1 ze sail get a s keif's head Weelbaken in a fie." o (7) " An' first they ate the white puddings, An' syne they ate the black. " (8) " Git me lock brose, brose, Gie me lock brose and butter. " o (9) " They a', in ane united body, Declared it a fine fat howtowdie. " ( 10) " He pang 'd himsel' fit o' collops an' kail, ( 1 1 ) (12) Syne whang' d at the bannocks o' barley-meal." (13) " // was fed wf fouth o' gerse an' oats, An' was wirriedan' sauted at yohnnie Groat's. " o ( 14) " My heart's in the Highlands, my heart is not here, My heart's in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer." TABLE IV. " There's bread an' cheese at my door-cheek, An' pancakes the riggin' o't. " INTRODUCTION " ORDER OF THE TOASTS AT THE GATHERIN' ON THE 138 OWERCOME OF 22D JULY 1706. "i. The Majestic o' this Realm, being the Land o' Cakes. 2. The Memorie o' the Last Queen o' Scot- land. 3. The Cassin o'the Wanchancie Covenant. 4. The Abolition o' a' Assessments an' Blackmails. 5. A speedie Parliament in the Parliament House. 6. The Abolishment o' Stake Nets, an' the Restoration o' the auld Manier o' Fishin'. 7. A Dour Douncome to the Gadgers, an' a Kittle Cast to the Customs. 8. The Buirdly Barons o' the Borders, an' the Auld Road to Carlisle. 9. The Laird o' Raasay and Commissioners o' Benachie. 10. True Thomas o' Ercildoune, Sir David Lyndsay o' the Mount, an a' the Famous Scottish Menstrils." " Nota dene. The farder order o" the ceremonie at the pleasour o' the companie." With the toasts, on the occasion of the 'den- ner, 'were intermingled manyof the Chairman's most delightful songs some of them being 13 INTRODUCTION composed, for theoccasion, together with other songs, hardly lessdelightful, by a fa vouriteScot- tish landscape-painter,* now, alas! no more; and with the irresistible stories of another Scottish artist, f who, happily, still survives to charm his countrymen alike with his word- and colour-painting. It is needless to say that the night was one of unequalled mirth and en- joyment, and that the " pleasour o' the com- panie "protracted the "order o' the ceremonie" till a late, or rather an early, hour. Outram was often urged to publish, but he always evaded the request. In the year 1851, however, he was induced to print, for private circulation, his Legal Lyrics, under the title, " Legal Lyrics and Metrical Illustrations of the Scotch Forms of Process ; one hundred copies printed for Private Circulation." The edition was limited, accordingly; and the ex- cellence and originality of the contents were so greatly appreciated by the more immediate friends to whom copies were presented, that they were besieged on all hands by requests for perusal; and at many social meetings it was considered one of the chief attractions of the * D. O. Hill, R.S.A. f Sir Daniel Macnee, died 1882. 14 INTRODUCTION evening to hear some of the Lyrics read orsung. None enjoyed them more than the then ack- nowledged heads of the literary and intellectual society of Edinburgh. One literary friend* so much delighted in "The Process of Augment- ation," that he used to have parties at his own house, where it was sung by the guests, in the characters and costumes of the Minister, the various Heritors, and the Lords of Session. The Minister's tune, composed by the author, isprintedinthis volume. Lord Rutherfurd was particularly enchanted with "The Process of Wakenin'," as possessing a wonderful combin- ation of pathos and drollery. Professor Wilson, Lord Cockburn, and many other admirers, like- wise had their special favourites in the lyric- al volume. These Legal Lyrics, as yet so imperfectly circulated, have been much talked of, and the whole of them are included in the present vol- ume. It is to be regretted that Outram never carried out his intention of writing some oth- ers, as indicated by certain fragments found amonghis manuscripts. One ofthese, intended to illustrate the Law of Lien, has the follow- ing graphic commencement: * The late Dr William Chambers of Edinburgh. 15 INTRODUCTION composed, for theoccasion, together with other songs, hardly lessdelightful, by a fa vouriteScot- tish landscape-painter,* now, alas! no more; and with the irresistible stories of another Scottish artist, f who, happily, still survives to charm his countrymen alike with his word- and colour-painting. It is needless to say that the night was one of unequalled mirth and en- joyment, and that the " pleasour o' the com- panie "protracted the "order o' the ceremonie" till a late, or rather an early, hour. Outram was often urged to publish, but he always evaded the request. In the year 1851, however, he was induced to print, for private circulation, his Legal Lyrics, under the title, " Legal Lyrics and Metrical Illustrations of the Scotch Forms of Process ; one hundred copies printed for Private Circulation." The edition was limited, accordingly; and the ex- cellence and originality of the contents were so greatly appreciated by the more immediate friends to whom copies were presented, that they were besieged on all hands by requests for perusal; and at many social meetings it was considered one of the chief attractions of the * D. O. Hill, R.S.A. f Sir Daniel Macnee, died 1882. 14 INTRODUCTION evening to hear some of the Lyrics read orsung. None enjoyed them more than the then ack- nowledged heads of the literary and intellectual society of Edinburgh. One literary friend* so much delighted in "The Process of Augment- ation," that he used to have parties at his own house, where it was sung by the guests, in the characters and costumes of the Minister, the various Heritors, and the Lords of Session. The Minister's tune, composed by the author, isprintedinthis volume. LordRutherfurd was particularly enchanted with "The Process of Wakenin', " as possessing a wonderful combin- ation of pathos and drollery. Professor Wilson, Lord Cockburn, and many other admirers, like- wise had their special favourites in the lyric- al volume. These Legal Lyrics, as yet so imperfectly circulated, have been much talked of, and the whole of them are included in the present vol- ume. It is to be regretted that Outram never carried out his intention of writing some oth- ers, as indicated by certain fragments found amonghis manuscripts. One of these, intended to illustrate the Law of Lien, has the follow- ing graphic commencement: * The late Dr William Chambers of Edinburgh. 15 INTRODUCTION If ye've been up ayont Dundee, Ye maun hae heard about the plea That's raised by Sandy Grant's trustee For the mill that belang'd to Sandy. For Sandy lent the man his mill, An' the mill that was lent was Sandy's mill, An' the man got the len' o' Sandy's mill, An' the mill it belang'd to Sandy. A' sense o' sin an' shame is gone, They're claiming noo a lien on The mill that belang'd to Sandy. But Sandy lent the man his mill, An' the mill that was lent was Sandy's mill, An' the man got the len o' Sandy's mill, An' the mill it belong'd to Sandy. The gossip of the Parliament House as to a flirtation (said tohavecommencedon the wrong side) between parties not usually brought to- gether, gave rise to some verses entitled ' ' The Macer's Daughter, "of which the two following only have been preserved: " 'Twas not his form, 'twas not his face, 'Twas not his eloquence, that caught her; It was his name in every case Thatgained the heart of themacer'sdaughter. 16 INTRODUCTION 'Twas not her eye, or ruby lip, Or teeth, like pearls in purest water; He'd ne'er have touched her finger's tip Had she not been the macer's daughter." When his friend, the late Thomas Mackenzie, advocate, afterwards Lord Mackenzie, was rapidly rising as a junior at the bar, he received the honorary appointment of Counsel for the Woods and Forests, which gave rise to a song being commenced, called THE WOODS AND THE FORESTS Are they accents of love, or the words of com- mand? 'Tis the voice of a lady the first in the land Saying, " Trusty Mackenzie, I'll give you a fee, If you'll roam through the woods and the for- ests with me. "And, Tom, may it notbe hereafter your pride, As snugly you sit by your happy fireside, To tell little Tommy, who sits on your knee, How you roamed through the woods and the forests with me? And when you shall part with your bombasine gown, 2 17 INTRODUCTION And in ermine and silk on the Bench shall sit down, Won't the great Lord Mackenzie remember with glee How he roamed through the woods and the forests with me?" Other dtsjectameinbraQ{3.s\mi\&r description might be quoted, and some additional poems might perhaps, with care, be selected from the MSS. ; but the task is delicate where the author himself did not contemplate publication; and, in the meantime at least, what is here given must suffice. H.G.B.* ADDENDUM BY LORD DEASf THE relatives of the author have to lament the unexpected death of the accomplished editor of this little volume just when it was on the eve of being given to the public. It was to him a labour of love to select from the more ample manuscript volume, in which many of the author's compositions had luckily been pre- served, those of which the humour and spirit were most likely to be apprehended and appreciated by readers who were not familiar * Henry Glassford Bell, Sheriff of Lanarkshire, author of Life of Mary Queen of Scots, etc., died 1874. f Mr Outram's brother-in-law. 18 INTRODUCTION with the characters and incidents which called them forth. The devotedness of the editor to his all but overpowering judicial duties discharged with herculean strength and her- culean success necessarily superseded, to a great extent (although it never altogether pre- vented), the indulgence of his literary tastes and habits, and retarded the selection which, for a long period, he had at heart, of the specimens now given of the genius of his early and attached friend, whom he enthusiastically admired, and whose uneventful life and genial character he has briefly recorded in the fore- going Introductory Notice. As may be gathered from that notice, it was not unusual with the author to surprise his friends, at the social board, by effusions in which some of themselves (while ample justice was done to their solid qualities and acquire- ments) were, at same time, made the objects of an undercurrent of irresistible humour, which compelled them to join in a smile or a laugh at their own expense, and thereby covered the modest confusion which the admiring regard insinuated or expressed towards themselves, in their presence, might otherwise have occas- ioned. 19 INTRODUCTION In one of these effusions, of which the ed- itor himself was the subject, his somewhat remarkable size and physical prowess were made the foil to carry off an expression of personal attachment, as well as appreciation of his powerful intellect, which was then well known to all who had adequate means of judg- ing. Among the pieces proposed to be pub- lished, the editor, from motives of delicacy, had not included this one ; but the relatives of the author, in now recording their gratitude to the editor, trust that they may be pardoned by his surviving friends for the liberty they take in here presenting it to the indulgent reader. THE TZAR KOLOKOL TUNF. " The Misseltoe Bough." In Russia there is, as all travellers tell, Near theKremlin, at Moscow, a ponderous Bell, Called "King of the Bells" its fame to extol, Or, in Muscovite language, the Tzar Kolokol. 'Tis made of all metals gold, silver, and tin For each wealthy Russian some jewel cast in; And the poor never rested till something they stole To assist in compounding the Tzar Kolokol. 20 INTRODUCTION The furnace was fed by the young and the old ; Themaidgaveher ear-rings, the miser hisgold ; For all knew 'twould be for the good of the soul To give what they could to the Tzar Kolokol. Fullnine months passed over before it was cast. But out came the mountain of metal at last, And tribes from the tropics, and tribes from the pole, Came as pilgrims to look at the Tzar Kolokol. With ropes and with pulleys they hoisted the mass, And they made it a tongue of some ten tons of brass, And the world waited trembling to hear the first toll From the King of the Bells, from the Tzar Kolokol. But that toll never came, for the rafters gave way, And the ponderous giant was rolled in the clay ; And the fatal result was a wide gaping hole Thatwas brokein the side oftheTzar Kolokol. We've a Bell in this country , the King of Bells too ; Of metal as various, and temper more true, 21 INTRODUCTION A sort of a giant though, upon the whole, He's not quite so big as the Tzar Kolokol. It took nine months to cast him ; and as for his tongue, 'Tis as brazen as theirs is, though much better hung; And I'm sure we all feel 'tis good for the soul To do what we can for our Tzar Kolokol. Though he's never been hung yet, and never may be, His voice has been heard o'er the earth and the sea, And long may such music continue to roll From the King of our Bells, from the Tzar Kolokol. May the King live for ever, a Persian request Which we make in behalf of our much- honoured guest; May we oft pledge a bumper, and oft drain a bowl, To the health of our Bell, to our Tzar Kolo- kol. INTRODUCTION NOTE ON LETTER OF INVITATION AND BILL OF FARE THE reference in the letter of invitation to " that wanchancie Covenant " (the Treaty of Union between England and Scotland), re- presents the intense feelings of objection and opposition to the Union which extensively prevailed in Scotland before the Treaty was made in 1707, and which continued to exist among many of the Scottish people till after the Rebellion of 1 745. Much curious informa- tion on the subject will be found in Defoe's History of the Union, and of the proceedings and negotiations which preceded it. Sir Walter Scott alludes to these feelings in Rob Roy, where, it may be remembered, Andrew Fairservice vehemently denounces the Union, while the shrewd and pawky Bailie shows a full appreciation of the benefits to flow from it to both countries. The dishes which form the bill of fare are humorously indicated in the snatches of songs and sayings of the menu. They are generally old Scottish dishes, some of which are now scarcely known. (i) This is " hotch-potch," which continues 2 3 INTRODUCTION to be a favourite Scottish dish. The Shepherd in the Noctes Ambrosiana calls it "an emblem of the haill animal and vegetable creation." "Intift" is "in it." The story goes that a Southron, who had greatly relished the soup, wished to learn from the cook how it was prepared, and she replied as in the text, " There's peas intil't," &c. He could make nothing of "intil't," which he per- haps thought was one of the articles used, and repeatedly asked, "But whafs intil'tt" All, however, he could extract from the somewhat angry cook was, ' ' I have tell't ye already ; there's peas intil't," &c. (2) Leek-soup, commonly called " cock-a- leekie," is indicated. This is another prime Scottish soup, and, according to Sir Walter Scott in the Fortunes of Nigel, it was deemed fit for the royal table in the days of " King Jamie," who, after the marriage of " Glenvar- lochides and pretty Peg-a-Ramsay," says "Surge, carnifex Rise up, Sir Richard Moni- plies of Castle-Collop ! And, my lords and lieges, let us all to our dinner, for the cock-a- leekie is cooling." (3) This is a dish designated (Scottice) "crap- pit heads." It is composed of minced beef, 24 INTRODUCTION with a considerable proportion of suet and some oatmeal, flavoured with chopped onions or leeks, and any other sweet herbs, and salt and pepper. The mess, when well mixed of the usual consistency of sausage, is stuffed into the heads or skulls of large haddocks, and is roasted in a Dutch-oven till sufficiently cooked. When properly made and seasoned it is a savoury dish. (4) The reference in the lines, to knowing "neist time a feather frae a flee" (fly), and, in the Letter of Invitation, to "the trouts o' Lochleven, " indicate a stew of Lochleven trout, caught by the fly in angling. (5) A Scotch haggis is here referred to. It is prepared of similar materials to those used for " crappit heads," which are stuffed into the stomach of the sheep (called the ' ' haggis- bag"), and the aperture being firmly sewed, it is boiled till sufficiently cooked. As the haggis-bag, if well filled, swells from the boil- ing of its contents, and the steam produced, it is often much swollen when brought to the table, and should be opened carefully by a small incision, otherwise its contents maysquirt out to the damage of the table-cloth, and per- haps of the carver. 25 INTRODUCTION A description is given in the Nodes Am- brosiana (Professor Wilson's works, 1855, vol. ii. p. 1 34) of the danger of opening the "haggis-bag" rashly. Christopher North, Tickler, and the Shepherd have sat down to dinner, and the Shepherd says: "Til carve the haggis.' ' ' 'North. 'I beseech you, James, for the love of all that is dear to you, here and hereafter, to hold your hand. Stop! stop! stop!' "(The SHEPHERD sticks the haggis, and the table is speedily overflowed." A ludicrously comic scene is then pictured of the sufferings of the party from the flooding of the room, and of their narrow escape from being drowned in haggis. ) (6) This is a sheep's-head pie. It is usually prepared from the head of a fat tup, the wool of which has been singed or burnt off to give it a special flavour, which perhaps none but a Scotsman esteems. (7) White puddings are prepared much in the same way as "crappit heads," the mat- erials being equal parts of oatmeal and suet. Black puddings have some blood added to the materials. 26 INTRODUCTION (8) Brose is made by pouring boiling water on toasted oatmeal, and stirred, as the water is poured in, by a blunt knife or the end of a spoon, till it is of the consistency of porridge or pudding. If the water has previously been used for boiling a round or rump of salt beef and greens, the dish is called " kail-brose " lauded in the old song "O the kail-brose of old Scotland! O for the Scottish kail-brose!" (9) A "howtowdie" is a well-grown barn- door chicken. (10) " Scotch collops" consist of slices of beef with the fat, stewed in a stewing or fry- ing pan, with onions and pepper and salt. (i i) "Kail " is a soup of good stock, thick- ened with minced greens, and a little flour, till it is of sufficient consistency. (12) Barley-meal "bannocks" are rolls or cakes of barley-meal toasted on a girdle. (13) A salted Orkney goose is the dish in- dicated. It is usually cooked by boiling. (14) A haunch or other dish of red-deer venison is referred to, LEGAL ftp OTHER LYRICS "BUT COMES AS SURE AS CHRISTMAS COMKS TO CA' FOR HKR ANNUITY." THE ANNUITY AIR "Duncan Davidson " IGAED to spend a week in Fife An unco week it proved to be For there I met a waesome wife Lamentin' her viduity. Her grief brak out sae fierce and fell, I thought her heart wad burst its shell, And I was sae left to mysel' I sell't her an annuity. The bargain lookit fair eneugh She just was turned o' saxty-three; I couldna guessed she'd prove sae teugh, By human ingenuity. But years hae come, and years hae gane, An' there she's yet as stieve's a stane The limmer's growin' young again, Since she got her annuity. She's crined awa' to bane an' skin, But that it seems is nought to me; She's like to live although she's in The last stage o' tenuity. She munches wi' her wizened gums, An' stumps about on legs o' thrums, But comes as sure as Christmas comes To ca' for her annuity. THE ANNUITY She jokes her joke, an' cracks her crack, As spunkie as a growin' flea An' there she sits upon my back, A livin' perpetuity. She hurkles by her ingle side, An' toasts an' tans her wrunkled hide Lord kens how lang she yet may bide To ca' for her annuity! I read the tables drawn wi' care For an Insurance Company; Her chance o' life was stated there, Wi' perfect perspicuity. But tables here or tables there, She's lived ten years ayont her share, An's like to live a dizzen mair, To ca' for her annuity. I gat the loon that drew the deed We spelled it o'er right carefully; In vain he yerked his souple head, To find an ambiguity: It's dated tested a' complete The proper stamp nae word delete And diligence, as on decreet, May pass for her annuity. Last Yule she had a fearfu' hoast I thought a kink might set me free: 32 AN I III.HK -Hi: SI A i tv;v; !! KIT-/! r: THE ANNUITY I led her out, 'mang snaw and frost, Wi' constant assiduity. But Deil ma' care the blast gaed by, And missed the auld anatomy; It just cost me a tooth, forbye Discharging her annuity. I thought that grief might gar her quit- Her only son was lost at sea But aff her wits behuved to flit, An' leave her in fatuity! She threeps, an' threeps, he's livin' yet, For a' the tellin' she can get; But catch the doited runt forget To ca' for her annuity! If there's a sough o' cholera Or typhus wha sae gleg as she? She buys up baths, an' drugs, an' a', In siccan superfluity! She disna need she's fever proof The pest gaed o'er her very roof; She tauld me sae an' then her loof Held out for her annuity. Ae day she fell her arm she brak, A compound fracture as could be; Nae Leech the cure wad undertak, Whate'er was the gratuity. 3 33 THE ANNUITY It's cured! She handles'! like a flail It does as weel in bits as hale; But I'm a broken man mysel' Wi' her and her annuity. Her broozled flesh, and broken banes, Are weel as flesh an' banes can be. She beats the taeds that live in stanes, An' fatten in vacuity! They die when they're exposed to air They canna thole the atmosphere; But her! expose her ony where She lives for her annuity. If mortal means could nick her thread, Sma' crime it wad appear to me; Ca't murder or ca't homicide I'd justify't, an' do it tae. But how to fell a withered wife That's carved out o' the tree o' life The timmer limmer daurs the knife To settle her annuity. I'd try a shot. But whar's the mark? Her vital parts are hid frae me; Her backbane wanders through her sark In an unkenn'd corkscrewity. 34 THE ANNUITY She palsified an' shakes her head Sae fast about, ye scarce can see't; It's past the power o' steel or lead To settle her annuity. She might be drowned; but go she'll not Within a mile o' loch or sea; Or hanged if cord could grip a throat O' siccan exiguity. It's fitter far to hang the rope It draws out like a telescope; 'Twad tak a dreadfu' length o' drop To settle her annuity. Will puzion do't? It has been tried; But, be't in hash or fricassee, That's just the dish she can't abide, Whatever kind o' goilt it hae. It's needless to assail her doubts, She gangs by instinct like the brutes An' only eats an' drinks what suits Hersel' an' her annuity. The Bible says the age o' man Threescore an' ten perchance may be; She's ninety-four; let them wha can Explain the incongruity. 35 THE ANNUITY She should hae lived afore the Flood She's come o' Patriarchal blood She's some auld Pagan, mummified Alive for her annuity. She's been embalmed inside and out She's sauted to the last degree There's pickle in her very snout Sae caper-like an' cruetty; Lot's wife was fresh compared to her; They've kyanised the useless knir She canna decompose nae mair Than her accursed annuity. The water-drap wears out the rock As this eternal jaud wears me; I could withstand the single shock, But no the continuity. It's pay me here an' pay me there An' pay me, pay me, evermair; I'll gang demented wi' despair I'm charged for her annuity! 11 ITS 1'AY Ml. HKKK- AN' I'AY ME THKRK, AN' r.\v MI;, I-AY MK, KVKRMAIR.'' WISHES (OF A MISANTHROPE) AIR " O doubt me not" {Moore's Melodies'). I WISH I was a Woman\ Wi' nought to do but dance an' dress, An' think myseP sae bloomin', An' kaim my hair afore the glass; To greet when my feet Werena just sae sma' as I wad like, An' ne'er feel a care Though the cobbler should nae discount strike; I'd spend my days in wearin' claes, An' my gudeman should pay the bill; An' if he raised an unco fraise, I'd greet an' say I wasna weel! I wish I was a Hero ! To spend my life in fire an' din, An' murder like King Nero, An' never think it was a sin: I'd soon tak a toon, An' wi' the spoil I wad mak free, An' style it in a bulletin A great an' glorious victory! I'd write how brave my men behaved, An' how the field was won by me; An' to my king and country leave To say what my reward should be. 37 WISHES I wish I was a Lawyer \ To ken what conscience ought to be, An' no remember a' year My friends reduced to poverty; To be glad instead o' sad When mithers weep, an' sons look pale, An' say grace o'er a case, As honest men do o'er their kail. "Go to the court o' last resort For the sake o' your poor family. " "The Lords sustain!" My client's gane He's ruined but I've got my fee! I wish I was a Brute Beast\ To live in some sequestered vale. Frae friends and loves remote placed, An' ne'er see man, an' wag my tail To chow on a knowe A" the herbs, an' flowers, an' grassy blades, An' tread ower the head O' gowans never touched wi' spades: I'd never see a friendly face, Sae nae friend wad prove fause to me; I'd never ken the human race, Nor ever curse humanity! I wish I was a Bottle\ O' brandy, rum, or what you please, 38 WISHES In some frequented hotel, Where gude souls tak their bread an' cheese; To fill out a gill For some puir chield that wants a trade Or pass o'er the hass O' some blythe, rantin, roarin' blade; An' while unscrewed, I'd sit an' brood, An' think myseP weel blessed to ken That when I dee'd I'd spend my bluid To purchase joy for honest men! THE FACULTY ROLL IN regard to this and the other lyrics which may be classed as "Legal," it may be interesting to non-professional readers to know something of the gentlemen of the Scottish Bar who are referred to, and to have explanations of the technical terms which occur. These are given in thenotes appended. The Faculty of Advocates is a very ancient body, not formally incorporated, but having most of the qualities and privileges of a corpor- ation. Its members have the right of pleading causes in the Court of Session and High Court of Justiciary, and the other Scottish Courts, and they have, generally, the same position and duties as Barristers have in the Supreme Courts of England. The Faculty is presided over by a Dean and a Vice-Dean, the offices of both being honorary. Its members form an import- ant branch of the Scottish ' ' College of Justice, " which was instituted in May 15 32, in the reign of King James V. The Judges of the Court of Session which was established in the same year are members of the College, having the title of "Senators"; and the members of the incor- poration of Writers to the Signet, and of the Solicitors before the Supreme Courts, who act 40 THE FACULTY ROLL as Agents in the conduct of causes, are also members. The Faculty has a noble library. It contains about 300,000 volumes, comprehending books in every department, and is enriched by many rare ancient MSS. ,and fine specimensof early printing on vellum many of both exquisitely illuminated in colours as brilliant as when they left the hands of the artist. The Faculty also administer a charitable in- stitution. The late Mr George Chalmers, a citizen of Edinburgh, who died in 1836, bequeathed the residueof his estate, amounting to a largesum, to "the Honourable the Dean and Faculty of Advocates," for the purpose of founding and maintaining a "hospital for sick and hurt." The fund was invested by the Faculty, and allowed to accumulate for some years, and by prudent investments it was largely augmented. Ultim- ately the house and grounds of Lauriston, ad- jacent to the Western Meadows, were purchas- ed, and a handsome and commodious hospital, containing free wards for male and female pa- tients, and a few wards in which, in addition to free medical attendance, home comforts may be afiorded to patients able and willing to pay a THE FACULTY ROLL very moderate board, was erected, and opened in 1864. The beneficence of Mr Chalmers is appropri- ately commemorated by the names of "Chal- mers Hospital" and "Chalmers Street, "given to the hospital and dwelling-houses erected on part of the ground. "The Faculty Roll," which follows, contains the names of a considerable number of the Ad- vocates who were in practice in the years be- tween 1830 and 1834, when Mr Outram was himself a member, and about which date the poem appears to have been written. The Facul- ty then consisted of nearly 400 members, of whom a comparatively small number are men- tioned in the Roll. Very few of those mentioned now survive, and of course the ' 'Roll" does not include anyof the eminentmen who havesince been ornaments of the Bar, and ultimately of the Scottish Bench. THE FACULTY ROLL AIR " Ye Mariners of England" YE Barristers of England, Your triumphs idle are, Till ye can match the names that ring Round Caledonia's Bar. Your John Doe, and your Richard Roe, Are but a paltry pair: Look at those who compose The flocks round Brodie's Stair; 1 Who ruminate on Shaw and Tait, 2 And flock round Brodie's Stair. Although our Brough'm you've stolen, 3 To brush your Chancery He may be spared our hoary Baird* Can sweep as clean as he; And though you've got some kindly Scotls, To breathe your southland air, We've the rest, and the best, 5 To stand by Brodie's Stair To garrison old Morison, 6 To stand by Brodie's Stair. We'll still stand by our colours Our Brown, Reid, White, and Gray;' 1 We'll still extol our Northern Lights You've seen their distant Rae. 8 43 THE FACULTY ROLL We still can boast of glorious names, Who love their country's fare, And ne'er roam from their Home, 9 But study Brodie's Stair The pages con of Morison, And study Brodie's Stair. Should enemies e'er venture To threaten us with war, We'll rouse broad Scotland to our aid, From Dingwall to Dunbar. The Lothians, Ross, and Sutherland, 10 The powers of hell would dare To the field, ere they'd yield One step of Brodie's Stair One foot of Erskine's Institute, 11 One step of Brodie's Stair. The insolent invaders Should never move Shank More; 12 Our Marshall's Steele, the knaves should feel, 13 Within their bosom's core. Have at them with a plump of Spiers, And if that shock they bear, Let the thieves meet our Neaves, 15 Ere they tread on Brodie's Stair Ere their foot pollute the Institute Of Erskine or of Stair. 44 THE FACULTY ROLL We've some things worth defending, And that our foes shall see; Though ours is not a land of gold, 'Tis the land of Ivory 16 And hearts behind our Greenshields beat, Than Ophir's stores more rare Ready still, come who will, To fight for Brodie's Stair Resolved each Section to defend, Of Erskine or of Stair. Our Hall is all surrounded By Forrest^ Loch, and Shaw 17 A Park, such as you never trod, A Hill you never saw. 18 We rest among the summer Hay, Beside the Gowan fair, 19 With a Rose at our nose, While we think on Brodie's Stair, Or ponder on old Morison, Or think of Brodie's Stair. We gather Wood and Burnett, 20 When bleak December blows; We're snug within, although without The Wilde is White with snows. 21 Our Taylor, and our Hazier,"** Defy the wintry air 45 THE FACULTY ROLL And the while to beguile, We run through Brodie's Stair With Thomson's Acts, through Lord Kames" Tracts, And Fountainhall, and Stair. 23 We've three M lines, and six Millers, Although no meal we make; We've two Weirs, and a Lister large, K Although no fish we take; A Horsman too, without a horse 26 A Hunter, but no hare Yet our Horn wakes the morn, With a note from Brodie's Stair, While echoes court the full report Of Morison or Stair. Our table's poorly furnished Our Cook has little toil Sometimes a fowl to Currie, Sometimes a joint to Boyle;'" But still Cheapens head and Trotters is 28 The dish beyond compare To suggest Shaw's Digest, And the sweets of Brodie's Stair To give a zest to Shaw's Digest, And the sweets of Brodie's Stair. 46 THE FACULTY ROLL For wisdom, where's the mortal Who claims to be our peer, When Solomon was David's son, And Davidson is here ? But for religion! Clerks,a.\a.s\ 29 And Bells we have to spare 30 But of faith not a breath Is heard near Brodie's Stair; Our most devout have Dirleton's Doubts, 31 As well as Brodie's Stair. When politicians wrangle, We shun the idle brawl; We've but one Torrie in our ranks, 32 And ne'er a Whig at all. The schoolmaster abroad may roam For him we do not care, Because we've the Tawse, 33 And the rules of Brodie's Stair The lessons sage of Erskine's page, And the rules of Brodie's Stair. And still as merry Christmas Concludes our peaceful year, Our Pyper lends his minstrelsy, Our bounding hearts to cheer. Poor as we are, for his reward, A Penney we can spare, 47 THE FACULTY ROLL Though we've got but one Groat ^ And some notes r Brodie's Stair Some doubtful bills in Dallas' Styles, And some notes in Brodie's Stair. Our live-stock's scarce; we have but A solitary Hog; 35 One L'Amy on his Trotters stumps, 36 Secure from Wolf or dog. 37 But still whene'er he wanders forth We dread a Tod is there, On the watch for a catch Should he slip from Brodie's Stair, Or seek his food in Spottiswood, Or slip from Brodie's Stair. But, Barristers of England, Come to us lovingly, And any Scot who greets you not We'll send to Coventry. Put past your brief, embark for Leith, And when you're landed there Any wight with delight Will point out Brodie's Stair; Or lead you all through Fountainhall, Till you enter Brodie's Stair. THE MULTIPLEPOINDING HE "process "or suit which bears Ithis name is one peculiar to the lawof Scotland. It may be resort- ed to in various circumstances, the most usual one beingthe case of several dif- ferent partiesclaimingjOn various grounds, the same fund. The claimants may stand in differ- ent positions. One may hold an assignment of the fund, which may or may not have been valid- ly completed. Others may have made attach- ments of the fund, by a process which is known in Scots law as "arrestment,"by which money or movable or personal property is attached. Difficult questions frequently arise as to which of the claimants may have the preferable or best right to the fund, and for the solution of theseamultiplepoindingistheappropriatesuit. In the case of a deceased party, who may have disposed of his estate by a deed of settle- ment in favour of trustees, questions frequently arise as to the interpretation, or the effect, of the provisions of the deed, and in such cases his trustees may institute a multiplepoinding for the purpose ofhaving the construction or the effectof the deed settled, and the estate divided, under judicial sanction. In this suit, all parties claiming interest in the fund or estate, are cited 4 49 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING into Court to maintain their respective claims. The person by whom the suit is instituted is technically called "the raiser," and the parties citedaretermed"theclaimants. " The person to whom the fund belongs is also cited as a party for his interest, to see that the fund is properly disposed of. He is technically called the "com- mon debtor. " The judgment of the Court de- termines which parties have the best right, and ordains the fund to be paid to them; and, on payment of the fund or estate, which is tech- nically called the "fund in medio," in accord- ance with the judgment of the Court, the "raiser "is judicially discharged orexonerated. A great variety of questions may arise for discussion under the competing claims of "the claimants," and a multiplepoinding may thus include many different forms or kinds of suits, such as an action or suit of "declarator," un- der which a person seeks to have any special right judicially declared or established; orasuit of "reduction," under which a person seeks to have a deed or obligation set aside; or a suit of ' 'suspension, "underwhich a party seeks tohave execution suspended or superseded. Hence a multiplepoinding is said in the song to " Combine every comfort that litigants know." 50 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING When thesuitcomes onfor discussion before the Judge, the name by which it is known usually the nameof the pursuer or plaintiff, and of the defendants or one of them and the names of the different counsel engaged in it, are called out by the "macer " or mace-bearer in attendanceatthebarof the Judge. Informer days the names were called by the macer in a loud voice, and some old practitioners may yet remember one red-faced and pot-bellied little macer, who used to call the names in a loud sing- ing tone, which resounded through the whole large Hall a usual combination being, "Maist-er Fran-cis Jeff-rey Maist-er Hen-iy C0-bran." If the claimants are numerous, a number of counsel may beengaged, and in the songacon- siderable number are so represented. THE MULTIPLEPOINDING AIR " Othe Roast-Beef of Old England! " HURRAH for the Multiplepoinding! Hurrah! What land but our own such a gem ever saw? The Process of Processes Pride of the law Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! To the rich, to the poor, to the high, to the low, 'Tis open to all who a title can show Itcombines every comfort that litigants know Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! No matter in what shape your claim may emerge, By PetitionorSummons, Suspension or Charge, Reduction, Declarator, all may converge And conjoin in the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! From the north, from the south, from the east, from the west, Come claimants, each deeming his own claim the best, What myriads of lawyers are then in request To manage the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! 52 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING Hark Ihark! what the deuce is that Macer about? What means his prolonged, diabolical shout? Does the man mean to call the whole Faculty out? Hurrah! 'tis the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! See! see! how the lawyers all start at the sound! See! see! how the agents from place to place bound! See! see! how their clerks flash like lightning around! Hurrah! 'tis the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! They rush to the Bar like the waves of the sea They swarm like a hive on the branch of a tree They'll smother the Judge he is not a Queen Bee- Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! But the storm is composed, and there's silence at last The lawyers look grave, and the Judge looks aghast, 53 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING And the short-hand Reporter preparesto write fast His notes of the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! There the Dean stands profound as the depths of the sea; 1 And Snaigow as smooth as its surface could be; 2 And Rutherfurd sharp as the rocks on the lee; 3 All fee'd for the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! And there stands M'Neill, "with his nostril all wide," 4 And Ivory's eyes glisten fierce by his side; And Cunninghame's there with his papers un- tied, 5 And dreams of the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! And More and Buchanan have come at the call, And Marshall, and Pyper, and Whigham and all And Peter the Great looks to Adam the Tall 6 To open the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! 54 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING 'Twas Jane M 'Grugar, ship-chandler, Dundee, Became moribund in the year twenty-three, And disponedherestatesallto Nathan M'Ghee, Who claims in the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! That she had notdisponed in liege poustie was plain, For she ne'er went to kirk or to market again So maintains her apparent heir, Donald M'Bean,' Who claims in the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! Now Donald M'Bean was in debt to the knee, And so, it appeared, too, was Nathan M 'Ghee, And Janet herself had by no means been free, And so came the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! So what with arrestments, where'er funds could be, And charges on bill and extracted decree, 8 And hornings and captions you'll easily see 'Twas a beautiful Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! 55 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING Butwherearetheclaimants, andhowhave they sped? See yon shrivelled matron, as huelessas lead 'Tis a liferent she claims and she's on her deathbed! Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! Her deep indignation she cannot repress, Though her tongue is scarce able her griefs to express She swears 'tis an action of "double distress." 9 Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! The landlord claimed rent and he'll best tell you how He got into the process by poinding a cow; His hypothec is quite hypothetical now 10 Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! The Suspender was bothered to such a degree 11 That he went and suspended himself from a tree; The Arrester's in jail no forthcoming can he Obtain throughtheMultiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! 56 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING One brought a Reduction but he has retired, 12 Reduced to extremes his worst foe ne'er desired. The Adjudger as well as theLegal's expired. 13 Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! No more willthepoor Heir- Apparent appear By way of a seisin they've seized all his gear; He's absconded-and now his Retour, it is clear, Can't be hoped through the Multiple- poinding 14 The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! " In media lutissimus!" this might be true When Phcebus instructed, and Phaeton flew; But the fund, though in media, has gone to pot too 15 Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! The Creditor's credit is utterly gone Andhe, whom theycallCommonDebtor,alone Has uncommon good luck he's got off with his own! 16 Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah! 57 SOUMIN AN' ROUMIN I HE extract from Stair's Deci- sions prefixed to the song, does not do much to elucidate its un- couthandunintelligibletitle, and was doubtless intended, not to elucidate, but to add to the perplexity. The action or suit, which is unknown in modern times, was one which might be instit- uted by any proprietor of lands adjacent to a commonty in which he and other proprietors had a common or joint right, for the purpose of ascertaining and fixing what extent of pas- turage or other right each proprietor was en- titled to exercise in the commonty. The old lady in question had been advised to resort to it, in order to ascertain how many sheep or cattle she was entitled to put upon the com- monty for pasturage. "Soums" and"roums" are old Scots terms in land rights, and give the suit its peculiar name. SOUMIN AN' ROUMIN "Where divers heritors have a common pasturage in one com- monly, no part whereof is ever ploughed, the said common pasturage may be soumed and routned, that all the soums the wholecommonty can hold may be determined and proportioned to each roum having the common pasturage, according to the holding of that roum" Case of the Laird of Drumalzier , Stair's Decisions, ii. 678. AIR " Hooly and Fairly." MY Grannie! she was a worthy auld woman; She keepit three geese an' a cow on a common. Puir body! she sune made her fu' purse a toom ane, By raising a Process o' Soumin an' Roumin, Soumin an' Roumin By raising a Process o' Soumin an' Roumin. A young writer lad put it into her head; He gied himsel' out for a dab at the trade Forguidin'a plea, or a proof, quite uncommon, And a terrible fellow at Soumin an' Roumin, Soumin an' Roumin, &c. He took her three geese to get it begun, And he needit her cow to carry it on, Syne she gied him her band for the cost that was comin", AndonwenttheProcesso'Souminan' Roumin, Soumin an' Roumin, &c. 59 SOUMIN AN' ROUMIN My Grannie she grieved, and my Grannie she graned, As she paid awa' ilk honest groatshe had hained ; She sat in her elbow chair, glow'rin' and gloomin' Speakin' o' naething but Soumin an' Roumin, Soumin an' Roumin, &c. She caredna for meat, and she caredna for drink By night or by day she could ne'er sleep a wink; "O Lord, pity me, for a wicked auld woman! It'sasairdispensationthisSouminan'Roumin. " Soumin an' Roumin, &c. In vain did the writer lad promise success Speak of Interim Decrees, and final redress; In vain did he tell her that judgment was comin' "Its a judgment already this Soumin an' Roumin!" Soumin an' Roumin, &c. The Doctor was sent for-but what could he say; He allowed the complaint to be out o' his way; The Priest spak' o' Job said to suffer was human 60 , ;01 ,Y ! SHE SUNK MADE HER FU* PURSE A TOOM ANE, .USING A PROCESS O' SOUMIN AN' ROUMIN." SOUMIN AN' ROUMIN But she said "Job kent naething o'Soumin an' Roumin." Soumin an' Roumin, &c. The Priest tried to read, and the Priest tried to pray, Butshewadna attend to ae word that he'd say; She made a bad end for sae guid an auld woman Her death-rattle sounded like "Soumin an' Roumin," Soumin an' Roumin, &c. I'm Executor heir-male o' line an' pro- vision, An' the writer lad says that he'll manage the seisin;* But of a' the Estate, there's naething forth- comin', But a guid-ganin' Process o' Soumin an' Roumin, Soumin an' Roumin, 6r. * The seisin, as already explained, was a writ to complete the heir's title to the property which had proved so disastrous to his poor old grandmother. THE OLD TRUE BLUE AN HISTORICAL BALLAD* AIR " Captain Glen." COME, Buff and Blue chaps, here's my claw, You're good souls in your way; But ere you compare your man of Law To old Admiral Milne, belay your jaw, And hear what I've to say, Brave boys! And hear what I've to say. 'Tis forty years and more this day (Short time it seems to me!) Off Guadaloupe our frigate lay, The Frenchman skulked in Mahout Bay, Beneath the battery, Brave boys! Beneath the battery. We cruised about from place to place, And swept the ocean free; * Written on the occasion of a parliamentary election con- test for the Leith burghs, between the late Admiral Milne and the then Lord Advocate, John Archibald Murray, and sung through the streets by a disabled sailor. 62 THE OLD TRUE BLUE At last, ashamed of the disgrace, Mounseer put on his fighting face, And ventured out to sea, Brave boys! And ventured out to sea. He trusted to his metal's weight, And to his crowded crew; We cheered him as he hove in sight, For though our numbers were not great Our men were all true blue, Brave boys! Our men were all true blue. We fought him on that glorious day, While we could man a gun; Each mast and spar was shot away, But though a shattered hulk we lay, Our colours ne'er went down, Brave boys! Our colours ne'er went down. We fought him on that glorious day, Till our decks were drenched in gore; But hot and hotter grew the fray, Till at length the Frenchman's heart gave way, 63 THE OLD TRUE BLUE And he doused the tricolor, Brave boys! And he doused the tricolor. We lay like logs upon the tide, Not a boat or oar had we; I stood by our youthful leader's side "Come, follow me, my lads!" he cried, And plunged into the sea, Brave boys! And plunged into the sea. He swam aboard of the noble wreck, We followed with a will: I stood at his side on the Frenchman's deck I stood by him then, and, come what like, I'll stand by Admiral Milne, Brave boys ! I'll stand by Admiral Milne. I've seen his glory grow since then, With his increasing years; His faithful shipmate still I've been, Till a splinter cost me my larboard fin At the taking of Algiers, Brave boys! At the taking of Algiers. 64 ; COMK, BUFF AND UI.liK CHAPS, HERE'S MY CI.AW, THE OLD TRUE BLUE I'll stand by him now as then I stood, And I'll trust him now, because It's like he'll labour to do us good, Who never scrupled to spill his blood In aid of his country's cause, Brave boys ! In aid of his country's cause. As for that bumboat lawyer craft That you have got in tow, A seaman would rather trust to a raft Than a hulk that looms so large abaft, If a gale should come to blow, Brave boys ! If a gale should come to blow. Belike with speeches fair he'll try To gammon * me and you : Come! off, ye swab ! if you wish to shy ; But here stands one that would rather die Than shrink from the Old True Blue, My boys! Than shrink from the Old True Blue. * A canard had been got up that his lordship had joined in a game at backgammon in the steamer, between London and Leith, on a stormy Sunday. THE SAUMON AlR "The Angel's Whisper." BY Tweedside a-standin', Wi' lang rods our hands in, In great hopes o'landin' a Saumon were we; I took up my station, Wi' much exultation, . While Morton* fell a-fishin' farther doun upon the lea. Across the stream flowin' My line I fell a-throwin', Wi' a sou'-wester blowin' right into my e'e; I jumpt when my hook on I felt something pookin'; But upon farther lookin' it proved to be a tree. But deep, deep the stream in, I saw his sides a-gleamin', The king o' the Saumon, sae pleasantly lay he; I thought he was sleepin', But on further peepin', I saw by his teeth he was lauchin' at me. * Charles Morton, W. S., a school and lifelong friend of Outram. 66 " i JUMJPT WHEN' MY HOOK ON t FELT SOMETHING POOKIN'' 1!L I UPON FARTHER I.OOKIN ? IT PROVED TO BE A TREE.' THE SAUMON The flask frae my pocket I poured into the socket, For I was provokit unto the last degree ; And to my way o' thinkin', There's naething for't like drinkin', WhenaSaumon lieswinkin' and lauchin' atye. There's a bend in the Tweed, ere It mingles with the Leader If you go you will see there a wide o'er- spreadin' tree; That's a part o' the river That I'll revisit never 'T was there that scaly buffer lay lauchin 1 at me. THE PROCESS OF AUGMENTATION SOON after the Reformation, the Judges of the Court of Session were appointed commissioners, with juris- diction as a Court, in questions of teind s or tithes. A certain portion of the teinds had by the Scottish Parliament been set apart in each parish as the stipend of the clergyman holding the charge the remainder of the teinds remaininginpossessionof the different heritors or proprietors of the lands from which teind is legally exigible, or of the Crown, or a donee of the Crowncalled ' 'theTitular, "asinrightof the estates of the Romish Church. When a clergy- man considers his stipend too small, he may in- stitute a suit in the Court of Teinds for having it increased; and the amount of stipend which may be fixed in that suit, remains as the stip- end for a period of twenty years; after which, if circumstances warrant it, a further increase may be sought from the Court of Teinds. The stipend is paid by the heritors or pro- prietors of lands in the proportions fixed by the Court in what is termed a "schemeof locality." Thesuit is termed one of "augmentation, mod- ification, and locality," and the heritors or pro- 68 AUGMENTATION prietors in the parish and the Crown orTitular are cited as defendants in it, as they hold the teinds subject to payment of the stipend, and to any augmentations of it which the Teind Court may from time to time see cause to grant. THE PROCESS OF AUGMENTATION The Minister states his case to a tune of his own composing (for which see p. 82). WHOEVER shall oppose my claim for augment- ation, I'll hold amongst my foes Whoever shall oppose; I'll deem him one of those who seek their own damnation, Whoever shall oppose my claim for augment- ation. Though some may hold their lands cum decimis inclusis, 1 Secure from my demands Though some may hold their lands; Enough's in other's hands, who have no such excuses Though some may hold their lands cum decimis inclusis. 'Tis fully twenty years since my stipend was augmented, A time of want and fears! 'Tis fully twenty years; In silence and in tears my griefs I have lament- ed; 70 AUGMENTATION 'Tis fully twenty years since my stipend was augmented. 'Tis partly paid in Bear, and partly paid in Barley; 2 Though few such crops now rear, 'Tis partly paid in Bear; Though Wheat and Oats elsewhere are now grown regularly, 'Tis partly paid in Bear, and partly paid in Barley. My glebe is small and poor, and my parish is prodigious. How long shall I endure! My glebe is small and poor. No error, I am sure, was ever more egregious. My glebe is small and poor, and my parish is prodigious. I have no means but those. A small mortific- ation Just keeps my wife in clothes. 3 I have no means but those. If I might be jocose, I'd say on this occasion I have no means but those a great mortific- ation. THE PROCESS OF Then whoever shall oppose my claim for aug- mentation, I'll hold amongst my foes Whoever shall oppose; I'll deem him one of those who seek their own damnation. Whoever shall oppose my claim for augment- ation. The Heritors defend themselves to the tune of Callaghan." FIRST HERITOR And hang me if I don't Oppose your augmentation! My Lords, you surely won't Condemn me to starvation. I couldn't give a rap To purchase immortality, More than that fat old chap Draws under the last locality. Chorus of Heritors Uh! uh! uh! Nae wonder we're in sic a rage He wants the hale o' the teind, Parsonage and Vicarage. 4 72 AUGMENTATION SECOND HERITOR She'd readily pay her merk Upon ony just occasion; But she lives ten miles frae the kirk An she's of another persuasion. He ought to scrutineese The errors that have perverted her An' she'll pay him whatever ye please As soon as he has converted her. Chorus Uh! uh! uh! &c. THIRD HERITOR My father mortified A field of about ten acre But he scarce had signed the deed When his spirit was affto his Maker. Had the minister shown less greed, I didna mean to object to it But now I hope to see't Reduced ex capite lecti yet. Chorus Uh ! uh ! uh ! &c. FOURTH HERITOR He says, that frae the teinds He is but puirly pensioned; But he's ither ways an' means, Though he'd rather they werena mentioned. 73 THE PROCESS OF He kens the ways o' a' The wives in his vicinity, An' weel can whilly-wha A rich, auld, sour virginity. Chorus Uh! uh! uh! &c. FIFTH HERITOR He'll croon to ane on death, Until her een are bleerit An' lecture anither on faith, Till she's like to gang deleerit. An' thus he mak's a spoil O' fatuous facility, An' works into the Will O' dottrified senility. Chorus Uh! uh! uh! &c. SIXTH HERITOR Every time (an' that's ance a-year) That his wife's in the hands o' the howdie, He sets the hale parish asteer For things to flavour her crowdie. An' this ane sends jelly an' wine, An' that ane sends puddin's an' pastries, Till she like a muckle swine Just wallows in walth an' wasteries. Chorus Uh! uh! uh! &c. 74 AUGMENTATION SEVENTH HERITOR He warns us to beware, For if we're caught in transgression, It's his duty to notice't in prayer, Or bring us afore the Session ; But a turkey, or a guse, Or some sic temporalities, Can mak' a braw excuse For a' our wee carnalities. Chorus Uh! uh! uh! &c. EIGHTH HERITOR The time he fixes for Parochial visitation, Is aye our dinner-hour An' he's sure to improve the occasion. An' siccan a stamack he has ! You'd think he'd ne'er get to the grund o' it; An' he tells us that flesh is grass Just after he's swallowed a pund o' it. Choi us Uh! uh! uh! &c. ALL THE HERITORS TOGETHER Then, oh, my Lords, don't grant The smallest augmentation! His pleading's nought but cant, Perversion and evasion. 75 THE PROCESS OF Don't give a single rap ('Twere worse than prodigality) More than that fat old chap Draws under the last locality. Chorus Uh! uh! uh! &c. THE LORDS MODIFY JUDICIAL MADRIGAL. Air: "Now is the Month of Maying." The Court on this occasion Of solemn consultation, Fol lol de rol,6r. With deep sense of their high Responsibility, Thus modify: 5 Fol de rol, &c. We'll first allow him yearly Ten pecks of Meal, as clearly Equivalent To the full extent Of stipend paid in Bear; Though, lest he that deny, We'll add, for certainty, A boll of Rye. Fol de rol, &c. 76 AUGMENTATION One chalder, in addition, Of Oats, would seem sufficient; And an increment To that extent We therefore modify, With Barley as before. Lord C. "Oh! half a chalder more. " Ho! ho! hi! (Judicial laughter.} The process now must tarry Till the Junior Ordinary Proceed to prepare, With his usual care, A scheme of locality. 6 And, having done its turn, The Court will now adjourn Instantly. Fol de rol, &c. ( The Lords adjourn. ) THE HERITORS REJOICE Hurrah for the Court o' Teinds! Hurrah for the Tithe Commission! We couldna done better if friends Had taen up the case on submission. His teeth he now may gnash O'er his matters alimentary; 77 THE PROCESS OF The Lords have settled his hash For anither fifth part of a century! Ha! ha! ha! They've done for his venality! Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! For the rectified locality! Had he an offer fair, Or rational propounded, For twa three chalders mair We'd gladly hae compounded. A boll o' Meal a-year We'd readily hae sent it him Forbye his pickle Bear, If that could hae contented him. Ha! ha! ha! The clod o' cauld legality Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! For the rectified locality ! But he wad tak' nae course, Except to raise an action, In order to enforce The most extreme exaction. He's now got his decree An' muckle he's the better o't! But we'll tak' care that he 78 AUGMENTATION Shall keep within the letter o't. Ha! ha! ha! The mass o' fat formality! Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! For the rectified locality. For not a single Ait, Nor yet a spike o' Barley, Nor nip o' Meal, he's get Again irregularly. His wife, neist time, may grane As friendless as the Pelican; While he may dine his lane Forenent her empty jelly-can. Ha! ha! ha! The lump o' sensuality! Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! For the rectified locality! (Exeunt Heritors.} THE MINISTER CONSOLES HIMSELF Though I have been beset by roaring Bulls of Bashan, There is some comfort yet, Though I have been beset. 79 THE PROCESS OF Tis well that I'm to get a little augmentation, Though I have been beset by roaring Bulls of Bashan. I've many other cares that press on my atten- tion. My Manse requires repairs 7 I've many other cares, Nay! common sense declares it needeth an ex- tension. I've many other cares that press on my atten- tion. The rooms are far too small, and fewer than beseemeth, Should sickness e'er befall, The rooms are far too small, We can't have beds for all when next my help- meet teemeth. The rooms are far too small, and fewer than beseemeth. A wing on either side, of decent elevation Proportionably wide A wing on either side Would suitably provide for our accommod- ation A wing on either side, of decent elevation. 80 TI;j FULLY TWENTY YEARS SINCE MY STIPtNl) WA.S AUGME.M MJ A TIME OK WANT AND FRARS ! " AUGMENTATION My byre requires new walls my milk-house a new gable. To stand the wintry squalls, My byre requires new walls. New mangers and new stalls are needed for my stable. My byre requires new walls my milk-house a new gable. If all this be not done unto my satisfaction, Before a year has run, If all this be not done, All compromise I'll shun, and raise another action If all this be not done unto my satisfaction. And whoever did oppose, &c. (Exit muttering. ) DISTANT CHORUS OF HERITORS Ha! ha! ha! Curs mean scality! rah! rah! rah! Rec fied cality! AUGMENTATION THE MINISTER'S TUNE s THE LAW OF MARRIAGE THOUGHTS AT SEA O MARRIAGE ! tell me if you truly are A Deity, as poets represent ye! Or are you, as the Institutes declare, Nothing but a consensus de presenti ? No matter! I espoused a maid of twenty By promise, and a process subsequente. l We married without contract; but our rights Were all defined within the year and day. A youngster came, one o' the cold spring nights I hardly had expected him till May. My wife did well in fact as well as could be; The baby squeaked, and all was as it should be. The darling's eyes were dark and deeply set My wife's and mine were light and round and full; His hair was thick and coarse and black as jet, Whileourswasthin andfair and soft aswool; I knew 'twas vain to play the rude remonstrant, For Pater est quern nuptice demonstrant. 83 THE LAW OF MARRIAGE The am'rous youth may fervidly maintain That marriage is a cure for every trouble; The feudalist may learnedly explain When its avail is single and when double: 2 Its sole avail to me, I grieve to say it, Was debt without the wherewithal to pay it. And debt brings duns. My dun was of a sort That never can desist from persecution. He brought my case before the Sheriff Court My debt, they told him, needed constitution. 'Twasfalse! He knew I knewittomycurse It had the constitution of a horse. But the decree went out, and I went in And in the jail lived more debitorum; Yet though I lost my flesh I saved my skin, By suing for a Cessio Bonorum. I got out, naked as an unfurred rabbit. The Lords dispensed, they told me, with the habit. 3 I went to seek my wife, but she had fled, And had not left a single paraphernal; But matrimonial law, upon my head Seemed destined still to pour its curse eternal. 84 THE LAW OF MARRIAGE I had indeed obtained a separation From bed and board no prospect but starvation! But bed and board are things worth striving for, So I bethought me of the pea and thimble: But people had grown wiser than of yore, And all in vain I plied my fingers nimble. I then attempted Vitious Intromission, 4 And was immediately conveyed to prison. And here again I lay upon my oars; A Hermit keeps his cell my cell kept me. No letters came to me of Open Doors; Criminal letters, though, came postage free, The air I breathed just added to my cares, Reminding me of coming Justice Ayres. 6 And come they did! And therefore am 1 now Upon thy wave, old Ocean Sydney bound! And here the partner of my youthful vow, Among the fourteen-yearers have I found; Here are we (though not just as when we courted) Again united and again transported. THE REFORM BILL AlR "Merrily danced the Quaker" OH! weary fa' Reform an' Whigs! That ever they were invented! An' wae's me for my auld gude- man, He's fairly gane demented: He grunts and growls frae morn to night About pensions an' taxation: He's ruined wi' meetin's got up for the gude O' the workin' population. The ne'er a turn o' wark he'll do To save us frae starvation; He leaves his horse to sort the coo, For he maun sort the nation. The fient he'll do but read the news An' he reads wi' sic attention, That his breeks are a' worn out in a place Which I'm ashamed to mention. He gangs to publics ilka night, An' ilka groat he'll spend it, An' how he gets hame in siccan a plight 1 canna comprehend it. An' then my sons, like three wee Hams, Laugh at their drucken daddie, 86 THE REFORM BILL As doun on the floor wi' a clout he slams. Wi' een like a Monday's haddie. * Afore the Whigs began their rigs, He was anither creature; His een were bright as stars at night, An' plump was every feature. His brow was like the lily white, His cheek as red as roses; He had a back like Wallace wight, An' a thicker beard than Moses. But now he's lost his comely look, An' lost his stalwart figure; His een are sinkin' into his head, An' his nose is growin' bigger. His houghs are gane, an' when nicht sets in, He's fusionless as a wether; His back sticks out, an' his wame's fan in An' he's a' reformed thegither! Oh! dinna ye mind, my auld gudeman, When first we cam' thegither, How cheerily our wark gaed on, How pleased we were wi' ither ? * The Monday's haddock must have been caught at least on the Saturday, and hence the condition of its eyes. 87 THE REFORM BILL Our lives passed away like a Sabbath-day When the distant bells are ringin'; An' your breath was sweet as the new-mawn hay, An 1 no like a rotten ingan. Oh! think what was't ye wanted then, An' see what now ye're brocht to! Ye're far waur aff than ever you were Before Reform was thocht o': For then, when you wanted a sark to your wame, Ye made an unco wark, man: But what's to be done wi' you now, when you want A wame to pit in your sark, man? Oh! gin ye wad but mind your pleugh, An' mind your empty pockets, 'Twere wiser-like than drink an' read Your een out o' their sockets. Leave them that kens to mak' the laws An' while your breeks will mend, man, Just leave the nation to look to itseP, An' look you to your hinner end, man! ' I.K.AVK THKM THAT KENS TO MAK* THB LAWS AN' WHILE YOUR BREKKS WILL MBND, MAN ; JIST LKAVK THE NATION TO LOOK TO ITSBL*, AN' LOOK YOU TO YOUR HINNER END, MAN." JOHN AND JEAN ANTENUPTIAL JOHN SINGS OF JEAN AIR "Bonnie -wee thing" BONNIE Jeanie! Artless Jeanie! Rosy, cosy Jeanie! Wert thou mine! How wad I adore you! What could I do for you! Think on what I swore you See if I repine! Try to vex me, Pester or perplex me A' your little sex may, To bother ane o' mine! Wreck me 'break me Lick me kick me Only let me think, the Wee bit foot was thine. JEAN SINGS OF JOHN (In lines varied from old Scottish Ballads.) Whenbonnie young Johnniewentover thesea, He said there was naething he liket like me. He sang an' he whistled while haddin' the pleugh, Though of gowd an' of gear he hadna eneugh. 89 JOHN AND JEAN But noo he has gotten a hat an' a feather An' its hey! brave Johnnie, lad! cock up your beaver. His kin are for ane o' a higher degree, What has he to do wi' the like o' me? Although I am bonnie, I amna for Johnnie, An' werena my heart light I wad dee. (Dreams. ) Lang hae we parted been, Johnnie my dearie; Noo we hae met again, Laddie, lie near me! Near me! (Suddenly wakening.} Dear me! Did ony ane hear me? Could Johnnie been listenin'? Dear me! Oh dear me! POSTNUPTIAL JOHN TELLS OF JEAN (To a tune of his own composing. ) Oh! what a deevil, a deevil, a deevil! Oh! what a deevil is Jean! The life o' a deevil I lead wi' the deevil, An' she cares deevil a preen ! 90 JOHN AND JEAN She dauds wi' the poker, but no' at the coals, Her tongue an' her temper are out o' a' rules; She dings at my head wi' a dizzen o' shools, And then she bawls out, " Mind your een!" Oh! what a deevil, &c. She seizes the kail-pat, an' I get my share; The stools spend the best o' their time in the air, An' sittin' is no the right use for a chair, As I an' my shattered banes ken. Oh! what a deevil, &c. I never come right down my stair, stap by stap, For she aye flings me head over heels frae the tap; An' when I gang down wi' a horrible slap, She bids me come soon back at e'en! Oh! what a deevil, &c. She plays at the ba' wi' my head every day, An" when I fa' ower she cries out Hurrah! An' she's got a great cuddie-heel to her shae, An' I've got a patch for my een! O! what a deevil, &c. It's a miracleshe's murdered naneo'the weans, For she plays rowley-powley wi' them at my shins, JOHN AND JEAN An* she says that it's punishment for's a' at ance, Like killin' twa dogs wi' ae bane. Oh! what a deevil, &c. I'm sae muckle accustomed to lounders and licks, That when I'm asleep she canna wake me wi' kicks, Though her fit is as heavy as baith o' Auld Nick's, No countin' the weight o' her shoon. Oh! what a deevil, &c. She dauds at me sae, that whate'er I may do, I am ae single lump just a' through an' through, An' every bit o' my body is blue, Except twa three bits that are green! Oh! what a deevil, &c. JEAN REFLECTS ON JOHN ( To the same tune. ) Oh! what a deevil, a deevil, a deevil, Oh! what a deevil is John! Dinna think me unceevil to ca' him a deevil. Till ye hear how the deevil gangs on. He snuffs, an' he smokes, an" he drinks, an' he chews, Till he's donnard,an' daised,an' ayont ony use; 92 JOHN AND JEAN An' how he whiles finds his way hame to his house, Is to me just a phenomenon! Oh! what a deevil, 6r. Hefa'sonthestair,an'hecoupso'ertheweans It's a miracle he's broken nane o' their banes, As he bangs at the wa', or clytes doun on the stanes Wi' a weight that is twenty stane tron. Oh! what a deevil, 6r. An' when wi' a fecht I hae got him to bed, He lies crookit,an' pu's a' the claes to his side; An' he's got evermair sic a cauld in his head, That the neb o' him rins like a rone, Oh! what a deevil, &c. When at last he's asleep,an' I'm just fa'in' o'er; It wad be heaven's mercy if he'd only snore; But he first gies a squeak then a grunt then a roar Like a bagpiper sortin' his drone. Oh! what a deevil, &c. In the mornin',to rise tohiswarkhe'ssae laith, 1 whiles think he's sleepin' the slumber o' death ; 93 JOHN AND JEAN I've to kick and to paik till I'm clean out o' breath, Eer I get him to cry out "Ohone!" Oh! what a deevil, 6r. On pay-nights he'll come hame as white as a clout, Wi' his hat a' bashed in, an' his pouch inside out; An' afore I can ask him what he's been about, He fa's down as flat as a scone. Oh! what a deevil, &c. Just last Sunday morning Osicadisgrace! The very policeman that took him up, says, That he never saw, in the coorse o' his days, Sic a shamefu' exposure as yon. Oh! what a deevil, &c. THE BANKS O' THE DEE AIR "Days o lang syne." I MET wi' a man on the banks o' the Dee, An' a merrier body I never did see; Though Time had bedrizzled his haffits wi' snaw, An' Fortune had stown his luckpenny awa', Yet never a mortal mair happy could be Than the man that I met on the banks o' the Dee. When young, he had plenty o' owsen an' kye, A wide wavin' mailin an' siller forbye; Butcauldwashisheartherehisyoudithwaso'er, An' he delved on the lands he had lairded be- fore; Yet though beggared his ha' an' deserted his lea, Contented he roamed on the banks o' the Dee. 'Twas heartsome to see theauld body sae gay, As he toddled adown by the gowany brae, Sae canty, saecrouse, an sae pruif against care; Yet it wasna through riches, it wasna through lear; But I fand out the cause ere I left the sweet Dee The man was as drunk as a mortal could be! 95 THE PROCESS OF WAKENIN' AIR "Peggie is over ye Sie wi* ye Souldiei;" SKENE MS. JENNY! puir Jenny! the flow'r o' the lea The bly thesome, the winsome, the gentle an' free The joy and the pride O' the haill kintra side She dee'd of a process o' Wakenin'. * Thoughher skin was sae smooth, an'herfingers sae sma', She won through the hoopin'-cough, measles an' a' She never took ill Frae fever or chill Yet she dee'd of a process o' Wakenin'. The case fell asleep when her Grandfather dee'd, And few folk remembered it e'er had been plea'd. She never heard tell O' the matter hersel', Till they sent her the summons o' Wakenin'. * When a suit in Court remains for a year, without proced- ure taking place, it is technically said to fall asleep. It may be resuscitated by raising a summons or suit of " wakening." 96 PROCESS OF WAKENIN' Jenny! puir Jenny! though courted by a', Only ane touched her heart an' he bore it awa'. It had just been arranged That her state should be changed, When they sent her the summons o' Wakenin'. She had plighted her troth they had fixed on the day A' arrangements completed nae chance o' delay; She was thinkin' on this, And entranced wi' bliss, When theysent her the summons o' Wakenin'. Her friends were sae kindly her true-love sae prized, Surrounded by them, an' by him idolised; She had just passed the night In a dream o' delight, When theysent her the summons o' Wakenin'. Shefee'dthe best counsel what could she dae mair? She read through the papers wi' sorrow an'care, But she could only mak' out, That beyond ony doubt, 'Twas a wearifu' process o' Wakenin'. 7 97 PROCESS OF WAKENIN' An'her friends that she thought wad be constant for aye, Of course they grew scarce, an' kept out o' her way; For naebody ken'd How the matter wad end, When they heard o' the process o' Wakenin'. An' her true-love for whom she wad gladly gien a', Slid cauld frae her grasp like a handfu' o' snaw; Sae she gied up the case, An' gied up the ghaist, An' dee'd o' a process o' Wakenin'. C CESSIO BONORUM* AlR " Tullochgorum" OME ben ta house, an' steek ta door, An' bring her usquebaugh galore, An' piper pla' wi' a' your pow'r Ta reel o' Tullochgorum. For we'se be croose an' canty yet Croose an' canty, Croose an' canty We'se be croose an' canty yet, Around a Hieland jorum. We'se be croose an' canty yet, For better luck she never met She's gotten out an' paid her debt Wi' a Cessio Ponorum! Huch! tirrum, tirrum, &c. She meant ta pargain to dispute, An' pay ta price, she wadna do't, But on a Bill her mark she put, An' hoped to hear no more o'm. * By the law of Scotland, a debtor imprisoned for debt, or in certain equivalent circumstances, since imprisonment for debt was abolished, may institute a suit of cessio bonorum. Under it, the Court, if satisfied of the debtor's honesty and inability to pay, may grant him protection against claims for debts then existing, upon his making a conveyance of all his means to a trustee for his creditor's behoof, and might grant him liber- ation, if in prison. 99 CESSIO BONORUM Blythe an' merry was she then Blythe an' merry, Blythe an' merry Blythe an' merry was she then She thought she had come ower 'm. Blythe an' merry was she then But unco little did she ken O' Shirra's laws, an' Shirra's men, Or Cessio Ponorum! Huch! tirrum, tirrum, &c. Cot tamn! but it was pad indeed! They took her up wi' meikle speed To jail they bore her feet an' head An' flung her on ta floor o'm. Wae an' weary has she been Wae an' weary, Wae an' weary Wae an' weary has she been Amang ta Debitorum. Wae an' weary has she been, An' most uncivil people seen She's much peholden to her frien' Ta Cessio Ponorum! Huch! tirrum, tirrum, &c. She took an oath she couldna hear 'Twas something about goods an' gear 100 CESSIO BONORUM She thought it proper no to speer Afore ta Dominorum. She kent an' caredna if 'twas true Kent an' caredna, Kent an' caredna Kent an' caredna if 'twas true, But easily she swore 'm. She kent an' caredna if 'twas true, But scrap't her foot, an' made her poo, Then, oich! as to ta door she flew Wi' her Cessio Ponorum! Huch! tirrum,tirrum, &c. She owed some bits o' odds an' ends, An' twathree debts to twa three friends - She kent fu' weel her dividends Could paid anither score o'm. Ta fees an' charges were but sma' Fees an' charges, Fees an' charges Ta fees an' charges were but sma', Huch! tat for fifty more o'm! Ta fees an' charges were but sma' But little kent she o' the law. Tamn! if she hasn't paid them a' Wi' her Cessio Ponorum! Huch! tirrum, tirrum, &c. 101 CESSIO BONORUM But, just let that cursed loon come here That took her Bill ! she winna swear, But, ooghh! if she could catch him near Ta craigs o' Cairngorum! If belt an' buckle can keep fast Belt an' buckle, Belt an' buckle If belt an' buckle can keep fast, She'd mak' him a' Terrorem. If belt an' buckle can keep fast, Her caption would be like to last, Py Cot! but she would poot him past A Cessio Ponorum! Huch! tirrum, tirrum, &c. " LAUV ! THINE EYE IS BRIGHT - BOAST OF IT WET.I.." LADY! THINE EYE IS BRIGHT LADY! thine eye is bright Boast of it well, While youth and delight In its airy beam dwell: Fast comes the hour When its light must away Portent the power That bids beauty decay. Lady! thy lip is red Be proud, lady, proud; Rejoice ere its bloom is shed Under the shroud. When the sod presses you, Pleasure is gone; When the worm kisses you, Raptures are done. Lady! rejoice Triumph has crowned you; List to the voice Of flatt'ry around you. Forget that your bright day Brings darkness behind it; Forget while you may, You will soon be reminded! 103 WHAT WILL I DO GIN MY DOGGIE DEE? AIR " O'er the hills an 1 far away." OH! what will I do gin my doggie dee? He was sae kind an' true to me, Sae handsome, an' sae fu' o' glee What will I do gin my doggie dee? My guide upon the wintry hill, My faithfu' friend through gude an' ill, An' aye sae pleased an' proud o' me What will I do gin my doggie dee? He lay sae canty i' my plaid, His chafts upon my shouther-blade, His hinder paw upon my knee, Sae crouse an' cosh, my doggie an' me. He wagged his tail wi' sic a swirl, He cocked his lug wi' sic a curl, An' aye snook't out his nose to me Oh! what will I do gin my doggie dee? He watched ilk movement o' my ee, When I was glad he barkit tae; When I was waefu', sae was he Oh! I ne'er lo'ed him as he lo'ed me. 104 GIN MY DOGGIE DEE ? He guarded me baith light an' dark, An' helpit me at a' my wark; Whare'er I wandered there was he What will I do gin my doggie dee? Nae ither tyke the country roun', Was ever fit to dicht his shoon; But now they'll hae a jubilee, He's like to be removed frae me. 'Twas late yestreen my wife an' he Deil hae the loons that mauled them sae! They're baith as ill as ill can be What will I do gin my doggie dee? ELSIE (As sung by her boorish husband. ) AlR " Bobbin John." ELSIE'S neat an' clean, Elsie's proud an' saucy, Elsie's trig an' braw, Elsie is a lassie; Elsie is a fule, Elsie's neives are massy. Elsie's tongue is lang Elsie is a lassie. Elsie is my wife, Thinks to be the ruler; Elsie is an ass, Thinks that I care for her; Swear's she'll keep the cash, Disna keep a boddle, Wares it a' on dress, Ca's herseP a model! Elsie is a guse I'll gang an' tell her, I'll hae the house, I'll hae the siller; I'll haud my ain, I'll keep the causey; Elsie wears the breeks? Elsie is a lassie. 1 06 ELSIE I've got a foot, Ken how to use it; If I gie a kick, She maun just excuse it. I am a man, Strong built an' massy- Elsie's takes her chance, Elsie's but a lassie! DUBBYSIDE i HE foam-flakes flash, the black rocks scowl, The sea-bird screams, the wild winds howl; A giant wave springs up on high "One pull for God's sake!" is the cry: If struck, we perish in the tide If saved, we land at Dubbyside! O Dubbyside! our peril's past, And bliss and thee are reached at last! As sprang Leander to his bride, Half drowned, so we to Dubbyside! What though we're drenched, we will be dried Upon thy banks, sweet Dubbyside! Are we in Heaven, or are we here, Or in the Moon, or Jupiter? These velvet Links, o' golfers rife, Are they in Paradise, or Fife? Am I alive, or am I dead, Or am I not at Dubbyside? Through Eden's groves there flowed a stream, And there it's very waters gleam Its pebbly bed, its banks the same, Unchanged in all except the name, 1 08 DUBBYSIDE Since Adam bathed in Leven tide, While Eve reposed at Dubbyside! And still it is a blissful spot, Though Paradise is all forgot The fairies shower their radiance here, The rocks look bright, the dubs are clear; Deem not that bush the forest's pride Remember, you're at Dubbyside! Is that an angel shining there, Or sea-nymph with her flowing hair, Or Neptune's pearl-embowered bride Kissing the foam-bells of the tide? 'Tis neither angel, nymph, nor bride 'Tis Podley Jess of Dubbyside! WHEN THIS OLD WIG WAS NEW AIR " When this old coat was new." WHEN this old wig was new, The Barber raised his eyes And blessed himself to view A wig so wondrous wise! It was his pride and, sooth, 1 proudly prized it too, For I was but a youth When this old wig was new. But now my wig is old, And I am young no more; The course of time has rolled, And our career is o'er: I'll mix no more with men As I was wont to do, Nor see the days again When this old wig was new. Oh, the days that I have seen, And the hours that I have passed, And the pleasures that have been Too exquisite to last! no THIS OLD WIG WAS NEW Before my eyes they pass In sweet though sad review I think of what I was When this old wig was new. I think of times when far Aloof cold envy stood, And brethren of the Bar Professed good brotherhood Not soulless etiquette, But friendship warm and true, With heart and hand we met When this old wig was new. No greedy hand was then Projected for a fee ; We held no servile pen To any lordly he : And none of us demurred The poor man's cause to sue, For honour was the word When this old wig was new. Then truly was the age Of matchless eloquence, And counsels deep and sage, And energy intense ; in THIS OLD WIG WAS NEW And we had men of lore, And wit and fancy too, For Wisdom's cup ran o'er When this old wig was new. I've laughed until mine eye Has filled with tears of glee, I've wept that fountain dry From very agony, As the floods of Erskine broke, Or the sparks of humour flew From the lips of those who spoke When this old wig was new. But when our weekly toil Brought Saturday about, Then all was one turmoil Of revelry and rout. (Cat era desunt.) "LET OTHERS SING THE GRACES AN ! ROOSE THE JOLLY PACKS O' A 5 THE BONNY LASSES THAT EVER WERE AVA* " THE SIGN O' THE CRAW (SENTIMENTS ATTRIBUTED TO A WELL-KNOWN FREQUENTER OF THAT INSTITUTION) AlR" Soldier's joy." LET others sing the graces an' roose the jolly faces O' a' the bonnie lasses that ever were ava ; I'll rout wi' right gude will, about the joys I feel, When sookin' at a gill at the Sign o' the Craw. Lai de daudle, &c. I like meat unco weel, for my wame it can fill, An' wantin' it I feel I could ne'er fend ava: But why I wish to fend some folk hae never ken'd 'Tismy staps that I may bend to the Sign o' the Craw. Lai de daudle, &c. I'll acknowledge my belief, that to hae a tidy wife Is a comfort to my life that I couldna forega; For if she's worth a louse, she may surely keep the house When I've gane to take a bouse at the Sign o' the Craw. Lai de daudle, &c. 8 113 THE SIGN O' THE CRAW Inevera'mydayslikedtogangwithoutenclaes, An' a reason if you please I can readily shaw: 'Tis that when my siller's gane, my coat I then can pawn, An' get anither can at the Sign o' the Craw. Lai de daudle, &c. The last time I was sober, ae morning in Oc- tober, I foregathered wi'a robber whaclinked my cash awa; But not e'en the horned deil frae me can ever steal What I've gien them for a gill at the sign o' the Craw. Lai de daudle, &c> I wadna gie a sneeshin' to hear a blockhead screechin 1 , Himsel' an' ithers fashin', cause a lassie's ran awa'; Contented here I am,sae I'll e'en take affmy dram, Till I fa' into a dwam at the Sign o' the Craw, Lai de daudle, &c. " H.KA l-AP Wl' THE SHOOL ON THE TAP o' THE MOOL, \VAl> TORRID HER FRAE COMIN 1 TO CURE ME." MY WIFE HAS COME OWER TO CURE ME AlR "My Mithers aye glowerin' o'er me." MY wife she's come ower to cure me For naething on earth but to cure me; I was deein' o' ease, an' comfort, an' peace, An" my wife has come ower to cure me. Nae doubt I was ill when a' thing gaed weel, An' I didna ken what was gude for me; My sleep was sae soun', an' my bodysae roun'; Butmy wife has comeower an'she'll cure me. My wife has come ower to cure me, My wife has come ower to cure me; She cuist up her place where she gat meat an' claes, An' she's come ower the water to cure me. Mycheeksweresae red, myheartwas sae glad, Bad symptoms they were to alarm me; Preternatural fat, an' strength, an' a' that, Butmy wife has comeower an'she'll cure me. My wife has come ower to cure me, To show the affection she bore me; I was deein' o' health, an' ruined wi' wealth, When my wife came ower to cure me. "5 OWER TO CURE ME I rose wi' the lark, an' ate like a shark, A' the joys o' the angels came ower me; Outrageously right, stark mad wi' delight; But my wife has come ower an'she'llcure me. My wife has come ower to cure me For no earthly cause but to cure me; I was horridly weel my banes hard as steel; But my wife has come hame an' she'll cure me. Oh were she to die, what wad come o' me? What spirits an' thrills wad devour me! Ilka pap wi' the shool on the tap o' the mool, Wad forbid her frae comin' to cure me. " HE'S NOW AS RED'S A ROSE, AN ; THERE'S PIMPLES ON HIS NOSE, AN'D IN SIZE IT DAILY GROWS BY DRINKIN' DRAMS." DRINKIN' DRAMS (BACCHANALIAN HEROICS) AIR " My Lust's in Germany." [Since Mr Outram wrote the following verses, the temper- ance cause has made great progress, and deservedly so; but it is just possible that it will be the temperance people rather than the topers who will laugh most at this ironically humorous song. ] H E ance was holy, An' melancholy, Till he found the folly O' singin' psalms; He's now as red's a rose, An' there's pimples on his nose, And in size it daily grows By drinkin' drams. He ance was weak, An' couldna eat a steak Without gettin' sick An' takin' qualms; But now he can eat O' ony kind o' meat, For he's got an appeteet By drinkin' drams. He ance was thin, Wi' a nose like a pen, An' haunds like a hen, An' nae hams; 117 DRINKIN' DRAMS But now he's round an' tight, An' a deevil o' a wight, For he's got himsel' put right By drinkin' drams. He ance wag saft as dirt, An' as pale as ony shirt, An' as useless as a cart Without the trams; But now he'd face the deil, Or swallow Jonah's whale He's as gleg's a puddock's tail Wi' drinkin' drams. Oh! pale, pale was his hue, An' cauld, cauld was his broo, An' he grumbled like an ewe 'Mang libbit rams ; But now his broo is bricht, An' his een are orbs o' licht, An' his nose is just a sicht Wi' drinkin' drams. He studied mathematics, Logic, ethics, hydrostatics, Till he needed diuretics To lowse his dams; 118 ' IT'S TRUE THAT \VK CAN SEE AUI.I) NICK, \vi' GLOATIN' K'E, JUST WAITIX' TILL HE DEE MID KKICHTS AND DWANS." DRINKIN' DRAMS But now, without a lee, He could make anither sea. For he's left philosophy An" taen to drams. He found that learnin', fame, Gas, philanthropy, an' steam, Logic, loyalty, gude name, Were a' mere shams ; That the source o' joy below, An' the antidote to woe, An' the only proper go, Was drinkin' drams. It's true that we can see Auld Nick, wi' gloatin' ee, Just waitin' till he dee 'Mid frichts and dwams ; But what's Auld Nick to him, Or palsied tongue or limb, Wi' glass filled to the brim When drinkin' drams! HERE I AM WHAEVER'S here that wishes a cure For mind, or wind, or limb, Let him listen to mine wi' me it's been sure It'll be the same wi' him. Whatever comfort failed me, Whatever it was that ailed me, Whatever was my plisky, Whatever dangers cam I tipp'd affa bottle o' whisky, An' here I am ! Ance I was ill, an' to mak' up his bill, The Doctor cam like stour, Wi' a forpit o' squills, an' laxative pills, My bowels for to cure. He swore I was in a consumption I swore he had nae gumption; He said I might tak the riskie I said I wad tak my dram, Sae I tipp't affa bottle o' whisky, An' here I am ! When I was in love, my mettle to prove, My sweetheart behaved unco queer; She ance saw me fou, an' she ca'd me a sow, An' said I was portable beer ! 120 HERE I AM Her love I cast aff a' houp o't, Sae I ran to a linn to loup it But as 1 was rinnin' sae briskly, I thought I wad tak a dram Sae I tipp'd aff a bottle o' whisky, An' here I am ! I ance gaed aff, like a sober calf, To sail the warld round, But as we cam' back, the ship was a wrack, An' we were just gaun to be drowned; The passengers lustily sang out, The crew whomelled into the long boat, An' how I got out o' the plisky, I dinna ken whether I swam But I tipp'd aff a bottle o' whisky, An' here I am ! WE BE THREE POOR BARRISTERS ROUND "We be three poor Mariners." WE be three poor Barristers, With minds but ill at ease, Because we never are retained In any kind of pleas. We pace the House around, around, around, Where litigants abound, abound, abound, Where fees are rife, Vet for our life We cannot take a pound, a pound, a pound. Ah! little do their clients know, Who trust to legal skill, What injury their doers do, Employing whom they will, And leaving us around, around, around, No chance to be renowned, renowned, renowned, Though we have store Of wit and lore That might the world astound, astound, astound. We wonder what their agents think Or if they think at all 122 THREE POOR BARRISTERS Who still employ these little men, With voice so thin and small, You scarce can hear a sound, a sound, a sound, While we walk idly round, around, around With lungs to make The rafters shake And vaulted roofs rebound, rebound, rebound. As for that clerk of evil fame, Accursed let him be, Who tempteth meaner souls than ours To plead for half a fee With emphasis profound, profound, profound, We execrate the hound, the hound, the hound, As to and fro Each day we go Across theearthenMound,a-Mound,a-Mound! Yet not because we're thus forgot Down-hearted shall we be ; The pluckless soul may yield to grief WV11 live in jollity ! We'll pass the glass around, around, around, And thus dull care confound, confound, con- found, Nor heed the fee So long as we With mirth and glee abound, abound, abound. THE LAWYER'S SUIT AIR " For the lack of Gold." OH why, lady, why, when I come to your side, Repulse your poor suitor with such haughty pride? That you'll never wed with a Lawyer you swear But why so averse to a Lawyer, my dear? Can it be, that because I have thought and have read, Till my heart to the world and its pleasures is dead? Pshaw! my heart may be hard, but then it is clear Your triumph's the greater to melt it, my dear! Can it be that because my eyes have grown dim, And my colour is wan, and my body is slim? Pshaw! the husk of the almond as rough does appear But what do you think of the kernel, my dear? Would you wed with a Fop full of apish grimace, Whose antics would call all the blood to your face? 124 THE LAWYER'S SUIT Take me, from confusion you're sure to be clear, For a Lawyer's ne'er troubled with blushes, my dear! Would you wed with a Merchant, who'd curse and who'd ban 'Cause he's plagued by his conscience for cheat- ing a man? Take me, and be sure that my conscience is clear, Fora Lawyer's ne'er troubled with conscience, my dear ! Would you wed with a Soldier with brains made of fuel, Who, defending his honour, is killed in a duel? Take me, and such danger you've no need to fear, For my honour is not worth defending, my dear! Come, wed with a Lawyer! you needn't fear strife, For since I have borne with the courts all my life, That the devil can't ruffle my temper, I'll swear And I hardly think you could do't either, my dear ! '' BUT, QUO' I, ' I'M, NO MARRY AGAIN IN A HURRV, I OR [ CANNA KOROKT MY 1>KAR N ANN! 1C THAT'S GANtt' MY NANNIE When he said "Your wife's leavin' the land o' the livin', I've done what I could, sir I canna do mair." "O Doctor!" says I, "Sir, you'd much better stay, sir, An' do what ye can for her till she's quite gane!" He plied her wi' physic, an that made her sae sick, That in less than a month Nannie graned her last grane ! To the Doctor I handed twice what he demand- ed; My friends a' advised me to marry again But quo' I, "I'll no marry again in a hurry, For I canna forget my dear Nannie that's gane ! " THE HOLY LOCH* CALM, calm, the blue lake silent lies, The sky without a breath to shake it; The drowsy clouds nor fall nor rise The earth's asleep, and none to wake it. The sun glares with his fiery eye Upon the beauteous scene before him, While green-robed Nature modestly Shrinks from such outrage of decorum. The sun has gone, the day is done, The moon beams o'er the peaceful water, High up above, looking such love As mother's o'er an only daughter. Restless, in vain my ear I strain To catch the ripple of the billow. Earth fades, and heaven looms on my sight; Oh! would some angel smooth my pillow! * These were the last verses composed by the author. INSURANCE AlR " What can a Young Lassie." HE premium is ae thing the duty's anither, It comes a' thegither to saxty pound three, An' ilk year at Yule it gars us sing dool It's a terrible pull on a poor family! But the gudeman was failin' an' constantly ailin', 'Twas high time that his life insured should be; And on ilk occasion it's some consolation That we'll a' be provided for gin he should die. IS THE HOUSE WARM YET ? IT was an old Scottish custom not yet wholly unknown that a dinner or sup- per should be given by the head of the house.to a few choice and intimate friends, on the family entering a new place of residence. Such meetings were always highly convivial. The warmth or mirth of the party was held as a sort of forecast of the future character of the house, so the host did his best to promote the hilarity andenjoyment of his friends, while they showed their kindly sympathy in the warmth of their welcome to his new abode. Toasts of kind words and good wishes w r ere drunk inflow- ing bumpers, and so the libations to Bacchus were not stinted. Dulce est desipere in loco was the joyous feeling. The new house was just the desired locus, and as the fun generally ' 'grew fast and furious, "something like the high-jinks of Pley dell and his jolly confreres in Guy Manner- ing, was usually the upshot. Such was a Scottish "house-heating" or "house-warming" three- quarters of a century ago. The song seems to have been written, either to be sung at such a symposium given by Out- ram in a new residence, or, at a future conviv- ial meeting in remembrance of it. The scenes described are of course fancy pictures, intended 130 IS THE HOUSE WARM YET? possibly to give some indication of each guest's turn of mind when abandoned to mirth and frolic. IS THE HOUSE WARM YET ? AlR "When the house is rinnirf round about ifs time enough tojiit." When there's joy in ilka heart, and there's mirth in every e'e, When we've burst the bands o' care and feel the spirit free, An' we canna tell what house it is, we then may think it fit To whisper to each other Is the house warm yet? Is the house warm yet? is the house warm yet? It aye becomes the cozier the langer that we sit; An" till it's like an oven we will never steer a fit, Though we ask at ane anither Is the house warm yet? When Bell begins to falter in his boisterous career, 1 IS THE HOUSE WARM YET? And Mackenzie's merry voice begins to sound a little queer, 2 And Hill's becoming tuneless 3 we may the question pit, In whispers to each other Is the house warm yet? Chorus Is the house warm yet? &c. When Rhind begins, with husky throat, to overture the chair, 4 And the joyous-hearted Crutherland seems quite o'ercome wi' care, 5 And Ellis seems at sea 6 we may then the question pit, In whispers to each other Is the house warm yet? Chorus Is the house warm yet? &c. When Macnee confuses Archie wi' the little Paisley boy, 7 And Dunbar's tongue is motionless by sheer excess of joy, 8 AndSpens calls it doubly hazardous 9 we then may think it fit To inquire at ane anither Is the house warm yet? Chorus Is the house warm yet? &c. 132 IS THE HOUSE WARM YET? When Salmond breaks his glass and seeks to justify the deed, 10 And the Doctor frae Gartnavel tries to stand upon his head, 11 And the landlord fa's asleep we may then the question pit, In whispers to each other Is the house warm yet? Chorus Is the house warm yet? &c. And when the house is warmed at last, and frae it we have gane, We maun haud a carefu' memory o' the road back again; An' o' friendship an' o' kindness we'll often tak a fit, An' come rinnin' back to ask Is the house warm yet? Chorus Is the house warm yet? &c. AN APPEAL FROM THE SHERIFF* " Understood to allude to an appeal from the Sheriffs decision in a case Mr Outram had with a gasfitter, who undertook to ventilate his house, but made it nearly uninhabitable instead." On this case Lord Cockburn wrote the following epigram, the litigation affording much merriment to all Mr Outram's lejal friends: Not a room in the house the same climate can boast, On the one side we freeze, on the other we roast; And if to the fireside your chair you should pull in, Your back is in Lapland, your knees in Ben Coolin.t Sustains the pursuer's title! Finds no irregularity in cital, Therefore repels the defences, And in respect The stamp is correct, Decerns for pursuer, with expenses. Am I to be ruined by such drivel? No! I'll see the pursuer at the devil; 'Tis only Henry Bell's decision 'Tis not too late To advocate, And avoid this enormous lesion. * Notes on An Appeal from the Sheriff, see p. 196. f A dreadfully hot place in Sumatra, East Indies. 134 AN APPEAL I'll go to the Court of Session, And resist this most infamous oppression; I'll retain both Monro and M'Kenzie, Fordyce, Handyside, And others true and tried, And I'll put the pursuer in a frenzy. But if Fortune in spite of them should fail me, And neither law nor equity avail me, I'll care not for either Division Though I go to the court Of last resort, I'll upset this preposterous decision. ON HOPE SAW ye the snow-wreath, White on the hill? Saw ye the wild lily Bloom by the rill? Saw ye the star Light heaven only, Gleaming afar, Lovely and lonely? Hope's like the snow That falls from the sky: Beauteous and holy, It dazzles the eye. But with manhood comes sorrow, And hopes disappear; And the snow-drop to-morrow Will melt to a tear. Hope's like the lily That bloomed in the spring, Wooing the breeze With its delicate wing. Alas! the bright sun, In which it delighted, Too powerfully burns, And the lily is blighted. 136 ON HOPE Hope's like the lone star In Eternity riding, The trembling mariner O'er the deep guiding. A dim earthly vapour Its glory hath crossed: Hope has departed The sailor is lost. FORGET NOT ME FORGET not me, my love, When others whisper thou art fair; With honeyed words their lips may move, But love like mine is rare. Forget not me, my love, When warmer eyes upon thee rest; Their fire can ne'er so fervent prove As that within my breast. Think not I doubt thy faith; The wreathy foam upon the sea, Spread by the zephyr's gentlest breath Is not more pure than thee. I well believe thee true, Thy heart will ne'er deceitful be; But then that heart is tender too, For it was kind to me. May not a tearful eye, A glowing cheek, and mournful air, Break from thy friendly heart a sigh, And waken pity there? see There of course was an end to AE DAY I GOT MARRIED AIR "They all take a sup in (heir turn" AE day I got married an' so you peace wr me; Whenever I moved, Kate loosed her tongue, An' when I replied, she took to the rung; So what between licking, An' scolding, an' kicking, I hoped for rest but in the grave. My wife was a woman an' so you see She was nae great shakes at constancy; Sae a lawyer cam' and skreighed himsel'hoarse, Persuading at me to get a divorce; For, says he, if ye dinna, Ye're a low stupit ninny, An' ye'll get nae rest but in the grave. But he was a lawyer an' so you see Ilk thing that he said was a great muckle lee; But the very attempt put my wife in a fever, An' nought but a muckle-wigged doctor could save her, Wha swore by the rood He wad do what he could To rescue my spouse frae the grave. AE DAY I GOT MARRIED But he was a doctor an' so you see My ill-natured Katty began to dee; So in a few days she was laid in the mool, An' I was delivered frae a' my dool: So I fand I was right, That to do what I might, My only relief was the grave. THE SWINE A SKETCH MY twa swine on the midden, Wi' very fat their een are hid- den, Their wames are swelled be- yond dimension, Their shapes! ye hae nae comprehension. Sic a sicht! their tails sae curly, Their houghs sae round, their necks sae burly; In the warld there's naething bigger Than the tane except the tither ! FRAGMENTS THE BARLEY-FEVER OH the Barley-fever ! The Barley-fever, the Barley-fever ! It sticks like a burr, or a plough in a fur, An' it fells a man like a cleaver. Yer beard turns lang, an' yer head turns bald, An' yer face grows as white as the lipo' a scald; Yer tae end is het, and the tither is cauld, Like a rat wi' its tail in a siever. Oh the Barley-fever ! The Barley-fever, the Barley-fever ! It gars the best soul grow as toom as a bowl, An' as flat as the doup o' a weaver. The Typhus tak's folk that are no very clean, The Scarlet's content wi' a fat fozy wean; But the Barley tak's rich, poor, clean, dirty, fat, lean, The infidel and the believer. THE MILLER THE Miller's rung did deeds o' weir, For mortal fray it aye was ready; The Miller kent neither sloth nor fear When he fought for king or bonnie leddy! 142 FRAGMENTS His head was pruif o 1 stane or steel, His skin was teugher than bend-leather; He could pu' against his ain mill-wheel, Or snap in bits his horse's tether. THE FULE'S SANG LEDDIES they sing leddies' sangs, An' men they sing men's, An' fules they sing foolish sangs, As a' the world kens; But a' the fule's foolish sangs That e'er cam' frae the moon, Were naething to a sang I heard, To a very foolish tune, That a fule sang to me. THE ALEHOUSE A' HUMAN joys come to an end Some time or ither: The songsters had nae mair to spend, An' though the weather Was maist enough to kill a brute, Auld Luckie cam' an' drave them out. FRAGMENTS WOMAN LIKE a clear rippling stream Glancing in the sunny beam So artless pure does woman seem Whistle o'er the lave o't! She's like (as we in beuks may read) The daisy blooming on the mead, A helpless, sweet, bit bonny weed Whistle o'er the lave o't! EPIGRAMS ON HEARING A LADY PRAISE A CERTAIN REV. DOCTOR'S EYES I CANNOT praise the Doctor's eyes, I never saw his glance divine; He always shuts them when he prays, And when he preaches he shuts mine. A' THINGS created have their uses; This truth will bear nae doots, As far as hauds to fleas an' louses, An' ither bitin' brutes: I ken the use o' crawlin' clocks, An' bugs upon you creepin'; But what's the use o' Barbara Fox ? By Jingo ! that's a deep ane. ON MISS GRACE C IN days of yore the saints oft prayed For grace to keep them from all evil; Sure sinners now for grace may hope, Since Grace is going to the devil. 10 145 EPIGRAMS ON DAVID , AN EGOTIST A GRECIAN Sage one day found out That all he ever knew was nought, Which made a wondrous noise; But greater praise is David's due, Who found out more than others knew, Namely that he was wise! 'TWIXT Joan and Chloe who'll decide The precedence in evil? Fair Chloe could corrupt a saint, Joan could corrupt the devil. EPITAPHS HERE LIES HERE lies, of sense bereft But sense he never had; Here lies, by feeling left But that is just as bad; Here lies, reduced to dirt That's what he always was ; Here lies, without a heart He ne'er had one, alas! Here lies He did so ere he died ; Then simply to begin, Here lies But all his life he lied. Death is a change, they say, Ye powers that rule the sky, What change is here, I pray? For surely he did die. AN EPITAPH AND RETROSPECT BENEATH this rude and little honoured urn The bones of one still little loved repose: Few know or care what cause he had to mourn, And fewer still could sorrow for his woes. i47 EPITAPHS Nor cold nor hunger cursed his lowly fate ; Nor faithlessness of friends, nor scorn of men; Nor vain ambitious dreams, found false too late; Nor rude oppression caused his bosom's pain. He loved mankind he still was just and true Still he brought succour to the weak and poor; He wished to make each mourner glad but few, Few were his means the bleeding soul to cure. If you have ever grieved, he grieved for you Yor every woe his sympathy could claim ; He wept for all, while yet his tears could flow Now he is gone ! and who will weep for him? ADDITIONAL PIECES HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED D. O. HILL H AIR "Ar hydde nos." ARK! what means that catter- wauling, Wild, harsh, and shrill? 'Tis the voice of Paxtonf calling, D. O. Hill, Bring back, bring back, the public to me, It must be you that stole them from me, Is't thus you pay the love you owe me, D.O. Hill! Where's M'Kenzie, Rhind.and Ellis, D. O. Hill? Say where Outram, say where Bell is, D.O. Hill; Wile them here with song and story, Well you know how they adore you, Give me back my former glory, D. O. Hill. Will you evermore forget me, D. O. Hill? I would love you would you let me, D.O. Hill: How oft I wish that I could be A crane, a castle, or a tree, That I might win one thought from thee, D. O. Hill. * See note, p. 193. t Paxton was landlord of the famous Beef-steak Club and Marrowbone Tavern in Fleshmarket Close, Edinburgh. THE COLLECTOR 1 HERE is wailing and woe 'mong the high and the low, From the peer to the ten-pound elector, And the Board of Excise wipe the tears from their eyes As they sympathise with the collector. Oh! oh! the Collector! He's fallen away past conjecture ! He's fast growing green, and the change may be seen By the most superficial inspector. He hates all mankind to his own wants he's blind- He's become a complete self-neglector : But speak of a kettle that rouses his mettle! I red you beware the Collector! Oh! oh! the Collector ! He swears he will be my dissector! Or if the Fates' will is that I were Achilles, He only would ask to be Hector! He believed it his own till his last card was thrown, And then he grew pale as a spectre : 152 THE COLLECTOR He abandon'd all hope, and gave up Johnnie Cope A wretched man was the Collector. Oh! oh! the Collector! He had been so long an expector, His dreams every night were of kettles so bright, Overflowing with oceans of nectar ! The blow was too great he sank 'neath the weight I fear he'll soon need a protector : For he's sadly declined both in body and mind You scarcely would know the Collector! Oh! oh! the Collector! When he sees his face in a reflector, He is ready to swear 'tis the lion so rare Of the Customhouse architecture ! WHEN WINDS WHISTLED SHRILL WHEN winds whistled shrill Over mountain and hill, And the sea-mew shriek'd in the skerry. When the lightnings flash'd, And the hoarse waves dash'd And moan'd o'er the dreary ferry : Though the thunder growl'd, And the tempest howl'd, And the rowan sobb'd in the rain. " Oh! 'twas merry in the hall, When the beards wagg'd all May we soon see the like again." With the fire blazing high, While the quick jest did fly, And the punch-bowl smiled in its glory. Who so happy then as we, When we listen'd to the glee Time about with the merry story ! Each, his arm round his lass, And his hand on his glass, Join'd the chorus with might and main "Oh! 'twas merry in the hall," &c. WHEN WINDS WHISTLED Our cares and our sorrow Laid past till to-morrow, The evening was all before us : Though the walls began to rock To the tempest's shock, We join'd in the ready chorus : For each took a pull At the jolly punch-bowl, And who could his joy restrain? "Oh! 'twas merry in the hall," &c. WILL YE GANG WF ME TUNE " Morag." OH! will ye gang wi' me, lassie, In the silent gloaming, And the maukins see, lassie, Through theheatherroaming, Amang the bells sae blooming? Chorus Oh! come awa wi' me, my love, For there is nought to fear ye : I'll clasp ye i' my arms, my love, Nae danger shall come near ye . We'll see the moon sae bright, lassie, Leaning on the rushes, Streaming its pale light, lassie, Through the dewy bushes, That hide thy bonnie blushes. Oh ! come awa, 6r. We'll press the banks sae green, lassie, By the burnie rowing, Glancing wi' siller sheen, lassie, Sweetly, kindly flowing To quench my bosom's lowing. Oh ! come awa, &c. '56 WILL YE GANG WF ME I'll kiss thy bonnie mou', lassie, Tho' ye sair should wyte me ; I'll grip an' squeeze ye, too, lassie; Your anger winna fright me, Although you sair should flyte me. Then come awa, &c. THE RUINED FORT I SAT me down upon the stile, For I had wandered many a mile, And thought I'd like to gaze awhile On all that I could see: An ancient fort a moorland wild A blasted tree. Bleak relics of an age bygone, Ye tell of battles lost and won Of tourney, fete, and ring-race won By men of ancestry. Who built that fort rode o'er that heath- Sat by that tree ? How dead how dumb how desolate What late was deemed so rich and great ; Is there not something in my fate That's like to all the three? That ruined fort that fruitless heath That blasted tree ! 158 THE SONG OF MEMORY WHEN life's dark clouds obscure my way, And pour their sorrows o'er my head When hope's last feeble scattered ray Has yielded to the storm and fled, I heave a sigh To memory, And ask a tale of times gone by ; Around the bed Where sorrow's laid Sad is the song of memory. She tells me of life's morning dream, Ah! never, never to prove true; She tells me of the sparkling stream: Where fancy's short-liv'd roses grew; She sings of days When pleasure's ways Seemed open to my tearless eye ; Of grief's wide wave, And friendship's grave Sad is the song of memory. She sings but ah! from her wan lip No soothing sounds are heard to flow, THE SONG OF MEMORY While down the diapason deep She ceaseless rolls the note of woe; An awful tale Of sorrows pale Is chorus'd by her wailing cry. Around the bed Where sorrow's laid Sad is the song of memory. BONNIE MARY GAELIC AIR. H ER cheek is like the rose, An' her lips like the cherry, Her een are glancin' blue, An'her name'sbonnie Mary. My father's unco' dour, An' rny mither is camstary; I ken the lassie's puir, But she's aye bonnie Mary. They say I'll ever rue The day that I sought her; They'll hae me gang an' woo The rich miller's dochter. But let them glower an' bann At my ae only dearie, Sae a' the ill ye can, Yet she's aye bonnie Mary. Oh ! were she herdin' nowt In an auld rotten plaidie, It's I would find her out An she'd ca' me her laddie. On an empty barn floor She dances like a fairy, In a shielin' on a muir, Oh ! she's aye bonnie Mary. ii 161 A LINNET WARBLED A LINNET warbled in the shade Upon a summer's morn; Blythe rang her carol through the glade I laugh'd at her in scorn; She thought she would be happy long, And cheerfully chirp'd out her song. Upon that summer's eve, The linnet sate silent alone; The hour was past that heaven gave, The day of bliss was done ; She sate upon a waving bough, The miniature of human woe. Her mate was dead murder'd, to prove The skill that hits a mark so small; The linnet look'd upon her love, And saw him fall. Her melody was o'er She whistled now no more. She felt she was alone, Friendless among a thousand foes; In the wide world there was not one To sorrow for her woes; Her little heart was swell'd with grief, She knew that there was no relief. 162 A LINNET WARBLED Art thou, poor bird ! forlorn as I? Hast learn'd so soon all I have known That joy is but a summer fly, Scarce seen e'er it has flown? Thou'st learn'd the truth while young Thou wast not cheated long. But not without a hope Thy wreck of life remains to thee ; The fowler's aim, the falcon's swoop, Alike may set thee free May bid thy sorrows cease, And let thee be at peace. Nor at thy lot repine " The young, the beautiful, the brave," Have sunk 'neath sorrows such as thine, And sought an early grave, Where the broken heart is blest, And the weary are at rest ! NOTES NOTES ON THE FACULTY ROLL Note i, page 43, line 8. " The flocks round Brodie's Stair." Sir James Dalrymple, Viscount Stair, was President of the Court of Session in 1671 and subsequently, and was a chief actor in the Scottish politics of the day. He was the author of ' Stair's Institutions,' a work on the law of Scotland, which was published in 1681, and has always been considered a high authority on the law of Scotland. An edition of the 'Institutions,' with copious notes, and additions stating the changes which had taken place in the law since Stair's time, was published in 1826-31 by Mr George Brodie, Advocate, who entered the Fac- ulty in the year 1811. It is the work alluded to as ' Brodie's Stair.' Mr Brodie was also author of a { His- tory of the Bri tish Empire from the Accession of Charles I . to the Restoration,' and held the appointment of Histori- ographer-Royal of Scotland from 1836 till his death in 1867. Note 2, page 43, line 9. " Who ruminate on Shaw and Tait. 1 ' Mr Patrick Shaw was compiler of a series of Reports of Cases decided in the Court of Session for a number of years subsequent to 1822, and his Reports have always been accepted as authorities under the name of 'Shaw's Reports.' He was also Editor of a very useful ' Digest ' or analysis of reported cases, and of an edition of 'Bell's Commentaries.' Mr Shaw entered the Faculty in the year 1819, and was Sheriff of Chancery from 1848 to 1869, when he resigned. The reference to " Tait" applies to a copious Index of Reported Cases, which was published in 1823 by Messrs W. $ C. Tait, booksellers, Edinburgh, 167 NOTES ON Note 3, page 43, line 1 1. " Although our Brough'm you've stolen!' Lord Brougham entered the Faculty of Advocates in the year 1800. He did not continue in practice, having joined the English Bar; and after a most distinguished career, both as a barrister and a politician, he became Lord Chancellor of England in the year 1830. Note 4, page 43, line 13. "He may be spared our hoary Baird." Mr Thomas Walker Baird entered the Faculty in the year 1793, and was entitled to be called "hoary" when the song was written. He was an eminent Chamber Counsel, and especially conversant with questions of feu- dal law and conveyancing. He died in 1 846. Note 5, page 43, lines 15 and 17. "And though you've got some kindly Scotts, We've the rest, and the best." The family name of Lord Chancellor Eldon and of his brother Lord Stowell was Scott. Both were members of the English Bar. At the Scottish Bar, at the date of the song, were Mr G. R. Scott, who entered the Faculty in 1786, and Sir Walter Scott, Bart., who entered in the year 1792. Sir Walter held the office;; of Principal Clerk of Session, and Sheriff of Selkirkshire, and is doubtless referred to as "the best." Sir Walter died in 1832. His works are too well known to require any notice here. Note 6, page 43, line 19. " To garrison old Morison." Mr William Maxwell Morison entered the Faculty in the year 1784. He was compiler of a Dictionary of De- 168 THE FACULTY ROLL cisions of the Court of Session, consisting of 40 vols. quarto, and extending from nearly the first institution of the Court. It is a work of standard authority, and is quoted under the name of 'Morison's Dictionary.' Note 7, page 43, line 22. " Our Brown, Reid, White, and Gray" Several gentlemen of the name of Brown were mem- bers of the Faculty at the period of the poem. Mr Robert Broun entered in 1780, and was alive in 1832. Mr M. P. Brown entered in 1816; Mr H. H. Broun in 1822; Mr Thomas Brown of Lanfine (a nephew of Lord Jeffrey) in 1825 ; and Mr James Browne in 1826. Sir James J. Reid of Mouswald, Dumfriesshire, en- tered the Faculty in 1827. He was one of the Royal Commissioners on Ecclesiastical Endowments,andafter- wards Chief Justice of the Ionian Islands. The family have been hereditary members of the Bar and the legal profession. Sir James's father entered the Faculty in 1 798. Mr J. J. Reid, his eldest son, entered in 1 870, and became Queen's Remembrancer in the Scottish Ex- chequer. Mr R. T. Reid, his second son, was a distin- guished Queen's Counsel at the English Bar, and is now ( 1 9 1 6) an ex- Lord Chancellor with the title Earl Loreburn. Mr Alexander White entered the Faculty in 1 797. Mr William L. White of Kellerstain entered the Faculty in 1816. Mr J. H. Gray of Carntyne, a Deputy-Lieutenant of Lanarkshire, entered in 1825. Note 8, page 43, line 24. " You've seen their distant Jtae." Sir William Rae, Bart., entered the Faculty in the year 1791. He was Lord Advocate for Scotland under the Ad- ministration of Lord Liverpool, and again under the Ad- ministrations of the Duke of Wellington and Sir Robert Peel, and M.P. for Buteshire. 169 NOTES ON Note 9, page 44, line 3. "And ne'er roam from their Home." Mr Francis Home, son of Professor Home of Cowden- knowes, entered the Faculty in 1825. He was Sheriff- Substitute of Kinross-shire, and afterwards of Linlith- gowshire, which office he held for forty-one years. This ancient family were proprietors of Cowdenknowes, on Leader Water, for five or six centuries. Note 10, page 44, line 1 1. " The Lothians, Ross, and Sutherland." Mr Edward Lothian entered the Faculty in 1 8 1 5. Mr Alexander Lothian in 1821. Mr Charles Ross, son of Lord Ankerville, entered in 1789. Mr George Ross, son of Admiral Sir John Lock- hart-Ross of Balnagown, entered the Faculty in 1797. He was one of the Judges of the Commissary or Consis- torial Court, now abolished. Mr David Ross entered in 1820. Mr George Sutherland of Forss entered in 1833. Note 1 1, page 44, line 1 5. " One foot of Erskine's Institute" Mr John Erskine of Carnock entered the Faculty in the year 1719. He was Professor of Scots Law in the University of Edinburgh from 1737 to 1765, and was the author of ' Erskine's Principles of the Law of Scotland,' published in 1754, and of ' Erskine's Institute,' published in 1773 works which, like 'Stair's Institutions,' haveal- ways been regarded as of the highest authority on Scot- tish law. Many editions of the 'Institute' have been published by subsequent editors. 170 THE FACULTY ROLL Note 12, page 44, line 18. " Should never move Shank More" Mr J, Shank More entered the Faculty in the year 1806. He was editor of editions of ' Stair's Institutions' and of ' Erskine's Principles,' and was Professor of Scots Law in Edinburgh University. Note 13, page 44, line 19. "Our Marshall's Steele, the knaves shouldfeel" Mr John Marshall entered the Faculty in 1 8 1 8. He was specially eminent as a Chamber Counsel. Hewaselected Dean,andwas afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Curriehill. Mr William Steele entered the Faculty i n 1 824, and was for many years Sheriff-Substitute of Dumbartonshire. Note 14, page 44, line 21. " Have at them -with a plump of Spiers" Mr Graham Spiers entered the Faculty in the year 1820. He was Sheriff of Elgin and Moray, and afterwards of Mid-Lothian, and one of the leaders of the party which ultimately formed the Free Church, and is designated by Lord Cockburn in his ' Journal ' as " the Apostolic Spiers. " Note 1 5, page 44, line 23. " Let the thieves meet ottr Neaves" Mr Charles Neavesentered the Faculty in the year 1 822. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under the Admin- istration of Lord Derby, and was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Neaves. He was a man of great wit and humour, and the author of 171 NOTES ON many exquisite songs, in one of which he happily says of the " Permissive Bill " of the day " Oh ! it's a little simple Bill, That seeks to pass incog. , To permit ME to prevent YOU From having a glass of grog." A small collection of songs was published by Messrs Blackwood in 1 868, under the title of ' Songs and Verses, Social and Scientific, by an old contributor to Maga.' After thedeath of Mr Henry Glassford Bell, the Sheriff of Lanarkshire, there was found among his papers the following graceful tribute to Lord N eaves which had not been included in any of the Sheriffs published works: ' ' There was a boy, a bright-eyed boy, the dux of all the school, Who kept the place at midsummer which he had gained at Yule ; Through Horace, Terence, Juvenal, he cantered at his ease, Nor boggled at the hardest bits of old Thucydides. No mathematics daunted him ; he needed small instruction To dive at once into the depths of algebra and fluxion. There's not a dry eye in the school the day on which he leaves, Yet little did the rector know that boy would be Lord Neaves. There was a lad, an eager lad, who studied day and night, Whose spirit, through all realms of thought, pursued a lofty flight ; Who walked away with every prize in every class at college, And left unopened not one gate of all the gates of knowledge. And yet he was no cold recluse, but dibonnaire and free, As one who feels that social ties exalt philosophy; Professors smiling, shake his hand, the Principal believes, The day may come when that fine lad may live to be Lord Neaves. There was a man, an earnest man, who took to study law, He waded through old Morison, he swam ahead of Shaw ; He took the marrow out of Stair, the entrails out of Bell, He sucked the egg of Erskine, and left nothing but the shell. He quoted case and precedent, unravelled every twist, From darkened legal quiddity he cleared away the mist ; The judges gaze in wonderment, and whisper in their sleeves, ' That man, whene'er the Whigs go out, is sure to be Lord Neaves. ' There was a father who had wed a fair and gentle dame, And more than all his honours prized a husband's, father's, name ; Who, as he trod the road of life, through all its weary miles, Found ever at his own fireside sweet faces and fair smiles. Ah ! better than ambition's fire, or triumph, or success, Soft eyes that look into our own, loved hands our own that press ; 172 THE FACULTY ROLL 'Tis never for himself alone a father, toils, achieves. 'Tis for the well-known voice that says, ' Papa will be Lord Neaves. ' There is a judge whom all the land esteems as wise and good, Most fixed in what he deems the right, yet never harsh nor rude ; Clear in his office, faithful, just, more pleased to bless than ban, And proving that the soundest lawcomes from the kindliest man. For him, the dux of all the school and student ripe, survives Youth's freshness, age's wisdom still unite the noblest lives ; And every compeer lovingly, and with delight receives, The valued friend, the honoured judge, the unspoilt man Lord Neaves." Note 1 6, page 45, line 4. " ' Tis the land of Ivory? Mr James Ivory entered the Faculty in 1816. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under the Administration of Lord Melbourne, and was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Ivory. Note 17, page 45, lines n and 12. " Our Hall is all surrounded By Forrest, Loch, and Shaw" Mr James Hall, son of Sir James Hall, Bart, of Dunglass, entered the Faculty in the year 1821. Sir James Forrest of Comiston, Bart., entered the Fac- ulty in 1803, and was afterwards Lord Provost of Edin- burgh. Mr James Loch entered in i8oi,and Mr Patrick Shaw in 1819. Shaw's works have been already noticed. Note 1 8, page 45, lines 13 and 14. " A Park, such as you never trod, A Hill you never saw" Mr John Park entered the Faculty in 1829. Hewasthe last Advocate of modern days who appeared at the Bar without a wig. Mr Norman Hill entered in 1802. Hewasaveryintim- ate friend of Outram. 173 NOTES ON Note 19, page 45, lines 15 and 16. " We rest among the summer Hay, Beside the Cowan fair" Sir John Hay, Bart, of Park, entered the Faculty in 182 1, and was Sheriff-Substituteof Stirlingshire. M r John Hay entered in 181 1. Mr JohnWilson Hay entered 1826. Mr William Gowan entered in 1831. Note 20, page 45, line 21. " We gather Wood and Burnett? Mr Alexander Wood entered the Faculty in 181 1. He was Dean of Faculty, and was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Wood. Mr Arthur Burnett entered the Faculty in 1819, and was Sheriff-Substitute of Peeblesshire. He was a de- scendant of the well-known Lord Monboddo. Note 21, page 45, line 24. " The Wilde is White with snows? Mr J. Wilde entered the Faculty in 1785, and died in 1 840. He was Professor of Civil Law in Edinburgh Uni- versity from 1792 till 1800. Mr William L. White entered in 1816, as already noticed. Note 22, page 45, line 25. " Our Taylor, and our Hozier? Mr Richard Taylor entered the Faculty in 1812. Mr James Hozier of Mauldslie, a Deputy- Lieutenant of Lanarkshire, entered in 1815. Note 23, page 46, lines 3-5. " With Thomson's Acts, through LordKames 1 Tracts, And Fountainhall, and Stair r Mr Thomas Thomson entered the Faculty in the year 1793. During the greater part of his life he was Deputy- 174 THE FACULTY ROLL Keeper of the National Registers of Land Rights, &c., and he also did most important and valuable work, in the historical or literary department of the Register House, and in the department of Registration of deeds and land rights. Besides his careful and judicious superintend- ence, copious digests and indexes of the various registers of land rights were prepared by him, which have proved invaluable as keys to the registers, by which they were for the first time made really and easily serviceable for gen- eral use. Many years were devoted by him to this great and most important work. Amongst other labours of a historical and literary kind he arranged and published a large folio edition, in eleven volumes, of the 'Acts of the Scottish Parliament,' with copious illustrations. Mr Thomson was appointed one of the Principal Clerks of Session in 1828. He was President of the Bannatyne Club in succession to Sir Walter Scott. Cockburn in his 'Memorials' characterises him as "formidable indig- nity and in antiquarian learning." Henry Home, afterwards a Judge of the Court of Ses- sion under the title of Lord Kames, was admitted a member of the Faculty in the year 1723. He published various collections of decisions of the Court, and was the author of 'Essays on British Antiquities,' published in 1747; 'Essays on the Statute Law of Scotland,' in 1757; and 'Principles of Equity,' in 1767. Sir John Lauder of Fountainhall entered the Faculty in the year 1668, and was Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Fountainhall. He published a col- lection of decisions from 1678 to I7i2,and was the author of various works in history and chronology. An edition of his 'Chronological Notes of Scottish Affairs,' edited by Sir Walter Scott ; an edition of his 'Historical Ob- serves of Memorable Occurrents in Church and State,' edited by Mr Adam Urquhart and Mr David Laing; and an edition of his 'Historical Notices of Scottish Affairs,' edited by Mr Laing, were printed by the Banna- tyne Club. 175 NOTES ON Note 24, page 46, line 6. " Wei/e three Milnes, and six Millers!' 1 Mr G. W. Mylne and Mr David Milne (afterwards Mr David Milne-Home of Milne Graden) entered the Fac- ulty in the year 1826. The latter gentleman did not con- tinue practice at the Bar. He was distinguished as a geologist and meteorologist, and in science generally. He was President of the Edinburgh Geological Society, and Chairman of the Scottish Meteorological Society. Mr Nicol Milne of Fauldonside entered the Faculty in 1827, the same year in which Mr Outram entered. Sir William Miller, Bart., afterwards a distinguished Judge under the title of Lord Glenlee, entered the Fac- ulty in the year 1 777, and was on the bench from 1795 till his resignation in 1840. Mr T. H. Miller, son of Mr Patrick Miller of Dalswinton, entered in the year 1802 ; Mr John Millar of Ballingall in 1806; Mr James Miller in 1819; Mr William Miller in 1823; Mr James Miller, son of Lord Glenlee, in 1825; and Mr John Miller, jun., in 1829. Note 25, page 46, line 8. " We've two Weirs, and a Lister large? Mr Thomas Weir entered the Faculty in the year 1831. Mr William Weir entered in 1827, and became editor of the 'Daily News ' (London). Mr John Lister entered in 1832. Note 26, page 46, line 10. " A Horsman too, without a horse." The Right Hon. Edward Horsman, a nephew of the 9th Earl of Stair, entered the Faculty in 1831. He did not continue practice at the Bar, having devoted himself to political life. He was M.P.for Cockermouth, Stroud, and Liskeard in succession, and was for some time a Lord of the Treasury, and was Chief Secretary for Ireland under the Administration of Viscount Palmerston. 176 THE FACULTY ROLL Note 27, page 46, line 19. " Sometimes a joint to Boyle." The Right Hon. David Boyle entered the Faculty in the year 1793. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under the second Administration of the Duke of Portland, and M.P. for Ayrshire from 1807 to 181 1, and was appointed Lord Justice-Clerk in 1811, and Lord President of the Court of Session in 1841. Note 28, page 46, line 20. " But still Cheapens head and Trotters." Mr Douglas Cheape entered the Faculty in the year 1819. He was Professor of Civil Law in Edinburgh Uni- versity. Mr Cheape was a noted humourist, and was the author of many witty and pungent poetical squibs, chiefly political. " Cheape's head and Trotters" are to beread 2&"sheeps head andfeet" a favourite old Scottish dish. Mr J. P. Trotter entered the Faculty in the year 1826. He was Sheriff-Substitute of Perthshire at Dunblane, and afterwards of Dumfriesshire. Mr Richard Trotter, a Deputy-Lieutenant of Mid- Lothian, son of General Trotter of Morton Hall, entered the Faculty in 1823. Note 29, page 47, line 5. " But for religion I Clerks, alas ! " Mr John Clerk entered the Faculty in 1785. He was Solicitor-General ijn 1806, and was raised to the Bench as Lord Eldin in 1 823. He was an eminent wit, very cynical and sarcastic, and especially independent. He was a prosy speaker, and on one occasion, when pleading be- fore a judge whose father had beenadistinguished mem- ber of the Bench under the same judicial title, he was in- 12 177 \ NOTES ON terrupted by a petulant remark that it was impossible to sit all day listening to a reiteration of " also and likewise," to which he promptly replied that his lordship seemed to consider these words synonymous, and added, in his sharpest tones, that they were not so : " You're lordship's father was Lord . You're Lord also., but I doubt if you're likewise" Mr William Clerk entered the Faculty in the year 1 792. He was Clerk of the Jury Court when it existed separately from the Court of Session. Note 30, page 47, line 6. " A nd Bells we have to spare, " Mr George Joseph Bell entered the Faculty in 1791. He was author of a learned and valuable work on ' The Mercantile Law of Scotland, in relation chiefly to the sub- ject of Bankruptcy,' which was published in 1804, and is usually quoted as ' Bell's Commentaries,' and of other works upon the law of Scotland, which have always been considered of high authority. Mr Belhvas appointed Pro- fessor of Scots Law in Edinburgh University in 1822, and one of the Principal Clerks of the Court of Session in 1831. Mr Archibald Bell entered the Faculty in the year 1 798, and was appointed Sheriff of Ayrshire in 1 815. Mr Robert Bell entered in the year 1804: he was Procurator for the Church of Scotland. Mr George Graham Bell of Crurie entered in the year 1819. Mr J. M. Bell entered in the year 1825, and was Sheriff of Kincardineshire. Mr Wil- liam Bell entered in 1824. Mr Henry Glassford Bell en- tered in the year 1832, and was for many years Sheriff- Substitute, and afterwards Sheriff, of Lanarkshire. He was a very intimate friend of Mr Outram,and edited the first edition of the ' Lyrics.' He was author of a Life of Mary Queen of Scots, of a volume of poetry, and other works. 178 THE FACULTY ROLL Note 31, page 47, line 9. " Our most devout have Dirleton' s Doubts? Sir John Nisbet of Dirleton entered the Faculty in the year 1 633, and was a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Dirleton. He held at the same time the office of Lord Advocate, a combination which has never occurred since. He was the author of a work entitled ' Doubts and Questions in the Law, especially of Scot- land.' It is usually referred to as ' Dirleton's Doubts,' and was published in 1698, after his death, being edited by Sir William Hamilton of Whitelaw. Note 32, page 47, line 13. " We've but one Torrie in our ranks" Mr T. J. Torrie entered the Faculty in the year 1830. Note 33, page 47, line 1 7. " Because we've the Tawse? Mr John Tawse entered the Faculty in the year 1808. Note 34, page 48, line i. " Though we've got but one Groat." Mr A. G. Groat entered the Faculty in 1834. " Note 35, page 48, lines 5 and 6." " Our live stock's scarce, we have but A solitary Hog." Mr James M. Hog, son of Mr Thomas Hog of Newlis- ton, entered the Faculty in the year 1822. 179 THE FACULTY ROLL Note 36, page 48, line 7. " One LAmy on his Trotters stumps? Mr James L'Amy entered the Faculty in the year 1 794. He was Vice-Dean of the Faculty, and for many years Sheriff of Forfarshire. Mr Trotter has been already noticed. Note 37, page 48, line 8. "Secure from Wolf or dog" Mr James Wolfe-Murray must be indicated, as there was no gentleman of the name of Wolf in the Faculty. Mr Wolfe-Murray entered in the year 1 782, and was after- wards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Cringletie. When he was appointed, doubts were expressed by some as to his legal acquirements, and the well-known cynic, John Clerk of Eldin (who is noticed above), expressed his view in these lines : " Necessity an 1 Cringletie Are fitted to a tittle ; Necessity has nae law, An' Cringletie as little." The cynic, however, was wrong. Lord Cringletie prov- ed an excellent judge, and on one occasion the House of Lords, on appeal, reversed a decision from which he had differed, and adopted his opinion as the judgment of the House. NOTES ON THE MULTIPLEPOINDING Note i, page 54, line 6. " There the Dean stands prof ound as the depths of the sea." The " Dean " is the Dean or Preses of the Faculty of Advocates, who has a position of seniority at the Scottish Bar. The Right Hon. John Hope was Dean at the date of the song. He entered the Faculty in 1816. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under the Administration of the Earl of Liverpool. He was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session, and was Lord Justice-Clerk in the Court of Justiciary. He wasagraveandpowerful pleader. Note 2, page 54, line 8. "AndSnaigow as smooth as its surface could be" Mr James Keay of Snaigow entered the Faculty in 1 799. He was a polished and able speaker. Note 3, page 54, line 10. " 'And Rutherfurd sharp as the rocks on the lee." The Right Hon. Andrew Rutherfurd entered the Fac- ulty in 1812. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under the Administration of Viscount Melbourne, and Lord Advocate under the Administrations of Viscount Melbourne and of Lord John Russell, and was M.P. for the Leith Burghs. He was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Rutherfurd. While Lord Advocate, he was the author of a number of most valuable and carefully framed Acts of Parlia- ment, in regard chiefly to conveyancing, which greatly simplified Scottish deeds, and materially lessened their expense. He was also the author of an Act by which ea- tails were greatly modified. It bears his name, being usually quoted as the " Rutherfurd Act." He was a most 181 NOTES ON accomplished lawyer and powerful pleader, and was equally eminent in literature and science. Note 4, page 54, line 14. "And there stands M'Neill, 'with his nostril all wide"' The Right Hon. Duncan M'Neill of Colonsay entered the Faculty in the year 1816. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under the Administration of the Duke of Wellington and that of Sir Robert Peel, and Lord Advo- cate under the latter Administration, and was M.P. for Argyllshire. The poor law of Scotland was reformed and placed on its present footing under his auspices. Subse- quently he was a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Colonsay, and thereafter Lord President of the Court of Session, and Lord Justice-General in the Court of Justiciary. Ultimately he was raised to the peer- age, and sat in the House of Lords as Lord Colonsay. Note 5, page 54, line 17. " And 'Cunningham e 's there with his papers untied" Mr John Cunninghame of Duloch entered the Faculty in 1807. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under Lord Melbourne's Administration, and afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session, under the title of Lord Cunninghame. He was in large practice when at the Bar. It was sometimes thought that occasionally he was not very careful in reading his briefs, to which the " papers untied " seems to allude. But however this may have been, his clients never suffered. He was a man of much tact and ready resources. Note 6, page 54, line 23. "And Peter the Great looks to Adam the Tall." Mr Patrick (or as he was more usually called, Peter) Robertson entered the Faculty in 1815. He was Dean 182 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING of the Faculty of Advocates, and ultimately a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Robertson. He was a man of rare wit and humour, and his rich jokes and sayings, which, if collected, would fill a volume, were greatly enhanced by his portly person, and somewhat heavy and stolid-looking countenance, the gravity of which he could preserve while those around him were convulsed with laughter. His appearance^is referred to in a short colloquy with Sir Walter Scott, which went the round of the Parliament House in a few minutes. Before the authorship of the Waverley Novels was acknow- ledged, Sir Walter happened to be in a group round one of the Parliament House fireplaces, and Peter approach- ing them, hailed him as " Peveril of the Peak" (an allu- sion to his high forehead and hair). Sir Walter at once replied, to the amusement of the bystanders, " Better Peveril o' the Peak than Peter wi' the painsh " (paunch). Mr Douglas Cheape, who was mentioned in the notes of the " Faculty Roll," had a very neat squib upon Mr Robertson. He was a stanch Tory, but it was commonly said that, after the passing of the first Reform Bill, when Lord Grey's Liberal Administration was in office, Peter lost hopes of his party, and offered his services to the Whigs through Lord Brougham, then Lord Chancellor. Mr Cheape embalmed the incident in the following lines, alluding to Mr Robertson's somewhat unusual bulk: ' ' When Brougham by Robertson was told That he'd consent a place to hold Surveying, with astonished eyes, A rat of such enormous size Said Brougham, 'That may be very true ; But where's the place that could hold you f " Mr Adam Anderson entered the Faculty in 1818. He was Solicitor-General for Scotland under Sir Robert Peel's second Administration, and was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Anderson. He was very thin and tall, and hence the sobriquet of " Adam the Tall." 183 NOTES ON The experiences and griefs of the various litigants or claimants are graphically given, and made the means of introducing various forms of Scottish procedure in apt and peculiar terms, which, however, are scarcely intel- ligible to those unacquainted with Scottish procedure and forms. A brief explanation of these terms will show the author's happy play upon the words. Note 7, page 55, lines 6-10. " That she had not disported in liege poustie was plain, For she ne'er -went to kirk or to market again So maintains her apparent heir, Donald M'Hean." As the law of Scotland stood when the song was written, any conveyance of real property could be set aside by the heir-at-law (heir-apparent of the song) if, at the time of the execution of the deed, its granter was labouring under the disease of which he died, and did die of that disease, within forty days of its date, without hav- ingduringthat period beeneitherat church, or in apublic market, unsupported. The law held that in such circum- stances the maker of the deed was not in a fit state to grant it not being in legitima potestate abbreviated in legal phrase into the " liege poustie" of the song. A suit to set aside such a deed could be prosecuted only by the heir-at-law of the granter, so this plea is put in the mouth of the " heir-apparent " of poor Janet. Note 8, page 55, lines 18-20. " So what with arrestments, where'er funds could be, And charges on bill and extracted decree. " " Arrestment," as explained ante, p. 49, is an attach- ment of personal funds and effects. A "charge" is a formal requisition made by an officer of the law, in virtue of a legal warrant, to a debtor, to make payment within a 184 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING specified time, under the penalty of execution against him and his effects, if payment be not made. Note 9, page 56, line 1 1. " She swears 'tts an action of 1 double distress! " An action or suit of multiplepoinding falls under the class of actions which are technically called " actions of double distress." " Distress " means the legal distress, or impediment, caused to a party by the use of arrestments in his hands. The unhappy claimant's experience leads her to apply the term in a sense more literal than its technical one. Note 10, page 56, lines 14-17. " The landlord claimed rent and he 1 II best tell you how He got into the process by poindinga cow ; His hypothec is quite hypothetical now." Under the Scottish law until recently, a landlord had a special and preferable remedy, against a tenant for pay- ment of rent, by a writ to sequestrate, or attach and sell, the effects of the tenant upon the farm. This remedy was called the landlord's hypothec. Note n, page 56, line 20. " The Suspender was bothered to such a degree? A "suspension," as already explained (ante, p. 50), is a suit seeking a stay of execution of a judgment or a " charge." The party instituting it is called the " sus- pender." An "arrester" is the party enforcing a writ of arrest- ment. A " forthcoming " is a suit which an arrester in- stitutes to obtain payment or possession of funds or goods arrested. The arrester is here supposed to be himself in jail, with no means of forthcoming, or getting out of it. 185 NOTES ON Note 12, page 57, line i. " One brought a Reduction but he has retired? A " reduction," as noticed ante, p. 50, is a suit to set aside a deed executed to the prejudice of the party using it. Note 13, page 57, line 4. " The Adjudger as well as the Legal 's expired" An " adjudication " is a suit in which a creditor seeks to have real property " adjudged," or transferred from his debtor to himself; and judgment in the suit transfers the property to the creditor, who is called the adjudger. The property may, however, be redeemed by the debtor, upon making payment of the creditor's claim within the period of ten years, and these ten years are technically termed the " legal " of an adjudication. These years are supposed to have expired, and the creditor himself to have died, during the slow progress of the multiple- poinding. Note 14, page 57, lines 7-11. " No more will the poor Heir- Apparent appear By way of a seisin they've seized all his gear ; He's absconded and now his Re tour, it is clear, Can't be hoped through the Multiplepoinding" The title of an heir to his ancestor's real estate was, at the date of the song, completed or established by a writ called a " seisin," under which he was infeft or seized in the estate. His " seisin " was usually preceded by a " ser- vice," which was a proceeding instituted by a writ from the Scottish Chancery Office, under which the claim of the heir was submitted, by a short form of process, to a jury, by whom he was served or declared to be the heir, if he proved his propinquity. The verdict of the jury was " retoured " (or returned) to the Chancery Office, and the writ issued thereon by that Office declared the verdict of 186 THE MULTIPLEPOINDING the jury, and was technically termed a "retour." The " seisin," as a separate writ, is now abolished, but the " service " is still in use, in a different form. Note 15, page 57, lines 15, 1 6. " But the fund, though in medio, has gone to pot too." The " fund in medio " is the fund or estate for which the different claimants have been contending. The pro- tracted endurance of the suit has exhausted the fund, as well as the claimants. Note 1 6, page 57, lines 21-22. "And he whom they call Common Debtor, alone Has uncommon good luck he's got off with his own !" The " common debtor," as explained ante, p. 50, is the person for whose funds the claimants have been contend- ing, and he, being a passive onlooker, is represented as the only one who has not come to grief through the multiplepoinding. NOTES ON THE PROCESS OF AUGMENTATION Note i, page 70, line 9. " Though some may hold their lands cum decimis in- clusis." A title to lands cum decimis inclusis (i.e. with Teinds included) places the teinds of these lands in a very fav- ourable position, as such lands are. exempted from all augmentations of stipend. The following song in Lord Neaves' volume, noticed ante, p. 172, refers, in amusing terms, to the position of lands held " cum decimis in- clusis" and to a danger which may arise if the terms of the clause are not technically complete. It also refers specially to this song of Outram's, the humour of which Lord Neaves richly relished : " I've often wished it were my fate, Enriched by Fortune's bounty, To own a little nice Estate In some delightful county ; Where I, perhaps, with some applause Might cultivate the Muses, And till my lands, and have a clause Cum decimis inclusis. Wherever no such clause appears, You're doomed to much vexation ; The Minister, each twenty years, Pursues his augmentation. Like any fiend he grabs your teind Unless the Court refuses. And all are sold who do not hold Cum decimis inclusis. That strife to tell, would answer well This tune of Maggie Lauder, When half the Bar are waging war About the extra cha'der. But Outram's wit that scene has hit, And all so much amuses, That I refrain, and turn my strain To decimis inclusis. 188 THE AUGMENTATION A friend of mine had such a grant, And did not get itgratis; But when produced, 'twas found to want The nunquam separatis. An Heritor with such a flaw His whole exemption loses, And might as well possess, in law, No decimis inclusis. Then ere you buy, your titles try, For fear they're in disorder : An Old Church feu 's the thing for you, From some Cistercian Order. Demand a progress stanch and tight, For nothing that excuses, And see your nunguam antea 's right As well as your inclusis. Then free from fear and free from strife, Your cares and troubles over, You'll lead a gay and easy life Among your corn and clover. The whole Teind Court you'll make your sport, Which else such awe diffuses, 'Augment away,' you'll blithely say, ' I've decimis inclusis.'" Note 2, page 71, line 4. "'Tis partly paid 'in Bear, and partly paid in Barley" In the scheme of locality, the stipend is fixed or allo- cated in grain, the value of which, as converted into money by the Clerk of Court in the " Scheme of Local- ity," is paid to the clergyman. Note 3, page 71, lines 18-20. " A small mortification Just keeps my wife in clothes}'' In Scottish legal phraseology a " mortification '' is the term applied to land, vested in perpetuity in trustees or otherwise, for payment of the annual income or produce to such person, or for such purposes, as may be directed in the deed of mortification. In the city of Aberdeen there is a considerable amount of property so destined 189 THE AUGMENTATION which is under the charge of a civic officer, who is there styled the " Master of Mortifications" Note 4, page 72, lines 19 and 20. "The hale o' the teind, Parsonage and Vicarage? Parsonage teinds are payable from crops ; vicarage, from small articles such as poultry. Note 5, page 76, lines 6-1 1. "The Court . . . thus modify." The fixing of the stipend is termed its " modification." Note 6, page 77, lines 9-13. "The process now must tarry Till the Junior Ordinary Proceed to prep are, With his usual care, A scheme of locality* The Court having " modified " or fixed the amount of stipend, remit the case to a single Judge, called the Lord Ordinary, to have the scheme of locality, apportioning the amount payable by each heritor, prepared. Note 7, page 80, line 6. " My Manse requires repairs" The minister, being indignant at the result of the aug- mentation, seeks consolation in devising a new source of vexation, by procedure in the Teind Court, for the repair and enlargement of his " manse " or dwelling-house and offices, which the heritors of the parish are bound to maintain. NOTES ON THE LAW OF MARRIAGE Note i, page 83, lines 7 and 8. " No matter I I espoused a maid of twenty By promise, and a process subsequente." By the law of Scotland marriage may, in certain cir- cumstances, be validly constituted by an interchange of promise of marriage between the parties. Note 2, page 84, lines 3 and 4. " The feudalist may learnedly explain When its avail is single and when double? Under the old Scottish feudal law a proprietor of land was liable to pay to his feudal superior, or over-lord, a " casualty " or fine on various events occurring, and a- mong others upon his being married. It was termed " the avail of marriage," and varied in amount according tocircumstances hence the legal term "singleor double avail." Note 3, page 84, line 18. " The Lords dispensed, they told me, with the habit? This refers to the suit of cessio bonorum. By the old law of Scotland a bankrupt was bound to wear a partic- ular description of dress or habit. By the judgment in the suit of cessio bonorum, the Court "dispensed with," or relieved, the debtor, from the obligation to wear that dress, which was technically styled in the judgment as " dispensing with the habit." Note 4, page 85, line 9. " I then attempted Vitious Intromission? One who takes possession of the property of a de- ceased relative without the legal authority of" confirma- 191 THE LAW OF MARRIAGE tion " or probate, is called a " vitious intromitter," and his dealings with it " vitious intromission." In the line, theft, of course, is implied. Note 5, page 85, lines 13-16. " No letters came to me of Open Doors; Criminal letters, though, came postage free. The air I breathed just added to my cares, Reminding me of coming Justice Ayres. " Letters of open doors form a writ, or portion of a writ, authorising prison doors to be opened or in other words, the liberation of a prisoner. " Criminal letters " are one form of the indictment or charge under which an accused party is brought to trial. " Justice Ayres " are meetings of the Court of Justiciary for the trial of prisoners. NOTES ON IS THE HOUSE WARM YET ? Note i, page 131, line 20. " When Bell begins to falter in his boisterous career" Mr Henry Glassford Bell, noticed previously under "The Faculty Roll," ante, p. 178. Note 2, page 132, line i. "And Mackenzie's merry voice begins to sound a little queer." Thomas Mackenzie, Esq.,advocate,who was Solicitor- General for Scotland under Lord Aberdeen's Adminis- tration, afterwards on the Scottish bench as Lord Mac- kenzie. He was a contemporary of Outram at the Bar, and an early and attached friend, and of a very kind and genial temperament, with no small spice of quiet humour. Note 3, page 132, line 3. ''And Hill's becoming tuneless." Mr D. O. Hill, of the Royal Scottish Academy. He held a high place as an artist. One of his pictures is a view of Edinburgh from the Castle, which was engraved, and is esteemed as one of the best views of the city. He was a very sweet singer, and had a large repertory of curious old songs. He and Outram were most attached friends. Note 4, page 132, line 8. " When Rhind begins, with husky throat, to overture the chair." Macduff Rhind,Esq.,advocate, for many years Sheriff- Substitute of Wigtownshire. He was a contemporary of Outram at the Bar, and a very intimate friend. 13 193 NOTES ON Note 5, page 132, line 10. ^ And the joyous-hearted Crutherland seems quite overcome uif care." John Smith of Crutherland, LL.D. of Glasgow Uni- versity. He was editor of many of the publications of the Maitland Club, and intimately acquainted with all the literary men of the day. Note 6, page 132, line 12. '''And Ellis seems at sea." Mr William M. Ellis, advocate, a contemporary at the Bar, and intimate friend of Outram, and a keen yachts- man. Note 7, page 132, line 18. " When Macnee confuses Archie ivf the httle Paisley boy." Sir Daniel Macnee, afterwards President of the Royal Scottish Academy, a well-known and highly esteemed artist, and most lovable man. At the time the song was written, and until he became President of the Academy, he was resident in Glasgow, and filled a high place in Glasgow society. He had a marvellous collection of ori- ginal stories,in which he delineated character with infinite effect touching the peculiarities of the Highlander, and of the denizens of Glasgow, Paisley, and Greenock, with most amusing faithfulness and grace. In the song he is represented as making a muddle of two of his stories. He was a very intimate and attached friend of Outram. Note 8, page 132, line 20. " And Dunbar's tongue is motionless by sheer excess of joy? Mr William Dunbar, advocate, noticed in "The Faculty Roll." 194 IS THE HOUSE WARM YET ? Note 9, page 132, line 21. " A nd Spens calls it doubly hazardous. " Mr William Spens became manager of the Scottish Amicable Insurance Company in 1839. He was a fellow of the Faculty of Actuaries in Scotland, and of the Insti- tute of Actuaries of Great Britain and Ireland. Note 10, page 133, line 2. " When Salmond breaks his glass and seeks to justify the deed." Mr George Salmond, Procurator- Fiscal for the county of Lanark. In the Glasgow Directory of 1855-56, he is called Commissary and Admiral of Lanarkshire. Note 1 1, page 133, line 4. " And the Doctor frae Garf navel tries to stand upon his head." Dr William Hutchison, resident physician of the Gartnavel Lunatic Asylum from its opening in 1842 to 1850. NOTES ON AN APPEAL FROM THE SHERIFF Mr Henry Cockburn, the author of the " Epigram," entered the Faculty in the year 1800. He was Solicitor- General under the administration of Earl Grey, and was afterwards a Judge of the Court of Session under the title of Lord Cockburn. During the greater part of his life Henry Cockburn kept a journal, which (or copious extracts from it) was published after his death. It is highly interesting and amusing, and contains at the same time much valuable information upon most of the public questions of the period.* Cockburn was in his day the most eloquent and per- suasive orator at the Scottish Bar. With his impressive oratory, his expressive face and fine eye, his mellow voice and his pure and homely Scottish dialect, he was almost irresistible with a jury, or in the General Assembly of the Church, in which he was often engaged as counsel. On the trial of the infamous Burke and his wife, in 1829, for numerous murders of unfortunate creatures whom they lured into their den and murdered, and whose bodies they sold,fordissection,heactedascounselforthe woman. The trial lasted till five in the morning of the second day, and after sixteen or seventeen hours' previous exertion, he addressed the jury, in one of the most impassioned and powerful speeches he ever delivered. He spoke for an hour, and literally held the jury and the audience spell- bound. His chief aim was to break down the evidence of Hare, and his wife, who were socii crimtnes, and had been admitted by the Crown as approvers. While the * " Memorials of his Time." New Edition, with Introduction by Harry A. Cockburn, and Portraits in colour by Sir Henry Raeburn, and other Illustrations, 6s. net. 196 APPEAL FROM SHERIFF miserable woman was giving her evidence, she had a child in her arms, who continued to scream almost in- cessantly. After drawing, in scathing and terrible words, a picture of her and Hare's atrocities, whom he repre- sented as the real criminals, he ascribed the screaming of the child to terror, " as if it had felt the fingers of the murderous hag clutching its little innocent throat." His peroration, delivered with a glistening eye, in tones of the utmost solemnity and pathos, put it to the jury that there was no real evidence except that of the approvers, and that if they found the accused guilty upon such evi- dence as that of the two Hares, these (pointing with a tremulous hand to the accused) " will be murdered, and these " (pointing to the jury) " will be perjured." Horri- fied as all those in Court had been at the fearful atroci- ties disclosed on the trial, there was, when he sat down, a universal hum of sympathy from the large audience. His speech saved the woman's life ; for, while the jury found the man guilty, their verdict in the case of the woman was " not proven." For racy wit and humour Cockburn was equally dis- tinguished as he was for eloquence. Like Peter Robert- son's, his jokes and quips would fill a volume. As ex- amples, the following may be given : On one occasion he was engaged in a case in which some miscreant had ill-used and maimed a farmer's cattle by cutting off their tails. At the conclusion of a consulta- tion, at which the farmer was present, some conversation took place as to disposing of the animals. Turning to him Cockburn said the cattle might now be sold, but that he must be content to sell them wholesale, because he could not retail them. On another occasion he was counsel for a man accused of a capital crime, for which, if found guilty, the punish- ment was death. The evidence was quite conclusive as to the man's guilt. When the jury had retired to consider their verdict, his client roundly taxed him with not hav- 197 APPEAL FROM SHERIFF ing done him justice in the defence. He bore the fellow's insolence for some time, but at last he gave him the pithy reply : " Keep your mind easy, my worthy friend, you'll get parf ait justice about this time six weeks " six weeks being then the period allowed to elapse between a sen- tence of death and execution. GLOSSARY Action a suit in court. Advocate (to) to appeal from inferior Court to Court of Session. Ae one. Afore before. Ailin" ailing, ill. Ain own. Ait oat. Allenarlie only. Amna am not. Ance once. Ane one. Anent concerning. Anither another. Appeteet appetite. Auld- old. Auld Nick Satan. Ava at all, at any time. Awa' away. Ayont beyond. Ba' ball. Backbane backbone. Backspang a trick or quirk, or return to previous con- dition. Baith both. Band bond, agreement. Bane bone. Bangs strikes. Bannock a thick cake toasted on a girdle. Barkit barked. Barley-fever fever from intox- ication, delirium tremens. Bashed crushed, bruised. Bedrizzled sprinkled, wetted. Begunk deceive, balk. Behuved behoved. Beil a bill or account. Belanged belonged. Bellin' the rising of air-bells in water. Ben ta house the inner room of a cottage. Bend-leather thick sole- leather. Bend the bicker put round the glass. Beuks books. Bit part, portion. Blackmail a contribution paid to freebooters for ex- emption. Blade a recklessyoung fellow. Bleerit bleared. Bluid blood. Blythe happy, merry. Boddle half-farthing. Body a small person. Bonny pretty. Boo bow. Bouse a drinking-bout. Brae hillock. Brak broke, Braw good, full ; also well- dressed. Breeks trousers. Bricht bright. Brochan oatmeal boiled to consistency of gruel. Brocht brought. Broo brow. Broozled broken, bruised. Buik book. Buirdly strong, powerful. Burr the head of a thistle OT prickly plant. Ca' call. Canna cannot. Cannie quiet, peaceable, careful. Canty lively, cheerful. Caption a writ to apprehend Caredna cared not. Carlings broiled peas. Cassin revoking, repealing. Cast lot, fate, rejected. Cauld cold. Causey pavement. Chafts cheeks. Chaps fellows, acquaint ances. Charged served with a war- rant for execution. Chaws chews. Chield lad, young fellow. Chow chew. Claes clothes. Claw fingers, hand ; also to scratch. Clout a noisy fall ; also a cloth. 199 GLOSSARY Clytes tumbles, falls. Coorse course. Corkscrewity twisted like a corkscrew. Cosh snug, comfortable. Cot tamn a Highland oath. Couldna could not. Coups overturns. Cozier warmer, more com- fortable. Cracks her crack tells her story. Craigs throats ; also rocks. Crined awa' shrunk, shriv- elled. Crookit crooked. Croon to sing in a low tone. Grouse brisk, bold. Crowdie posset, meal soaked in cold water. Cuddie-heel iron heel on shoe. Cuist up cast up. Custock the core of cabbage, or cabbage-stalk. Dab an expert. Daddie father. Daised stupid, perplexed. Bauds strikes. Daur dare. Debitorum debtors. Decerns gives judgment or decreet. Dee' d died. Deleerit delirious. Delete obliterated. Delved dug. Devallin' ceasing, intermit- ting. Dicht wipe, to clean. Didna did not. Diligence execution on a judgment of a Court. Dings thumps, strikes. Dinna ye don't you. Disna does not. Disponed conveyed, m ade over. Division the two Inner Chambers of the Court of Ses- sion are called ' ' Divisions. " Dizzen dozen. Doited stupid, imbecile. Dominorum the Lords of Session. Donnard stupid, perplexed. Dool grief, sorrow. Boots doubts. Bottrified become imbecile. Doun down. Bouncome overthrow, fall. Boup the sitting part. Bour hard, severe, stubborn. Brammock meal and water mixed raw, or boiled to pulp. Brucken drunken . Bubs pools of water. Bulefu' doleful. Bwam a fit or faint. E'e eye. Een eyes. E'en now at present. Eneugh enough. Evendown entire, complete. Exiguity a scarecrow. Fa' fall. Facility state of being easily imposed on. Fadge barley-meal bannock or loaf. Failin' falling in health ; also bankruptcy. Fa'in falling. Fand found. Farder further. Farle cake. Fashin' troubling. Fause false. Fecht fight. Fell earnest, strong. Fell (to) to kill. Fend live, exist. Fient nothing, never. Fin hand or arm. Fit foot ; also habit or cus- tom ; also its natural mean- ing. Forbye besides. Forebears ancestors. Foregae dispense with. Foregather meet, fall in with. Forenent opposite. 2OO GLOSSARY Forgie forgive. Forpit a measure of capacity. Fou tipsy. Fozy soft, dull. Frae from. Fraise complaint, a cajoling discourse. Frisky joyous, playful. Fu' full ; also tipsy. Fule fool. Fur furrow. Fusionless useless, void of spirit and energy. Cadgers officers of revenue. Gaed went. Galore in profusion, in great plenty. Gane gone. Gang go. Gar cause, make. Gaun going. Gear money. Ghaist ghost. Gied gave. Gien given. Gin if. Gleg sharp, active, lively. Glow'rin" staring. Gotten got. Gowan daisy. Gowd gold. Grane groan. Grannie grandmother. Greet cry, weep. Growin' growing. Grund ground, bottom. Grunts groans, growls. Gude ) , Guid }g od ' Gudeman father, head of family. Guid gangin' good going. Guidin' guiding. Gumption sense, cleverness. Guse goose. Ha' hall. Haddie haddock. Hae have. Haffits the sides of the head, the temples. Haill whole. Hained saved. Halden held. Hame home. Hams limbs, calves of leg. Hash a sloven ; also to abuse or maltreat, or make a mud- dle ; also a stew of butcher- meat cut small. Hass or hause throat. Haud have, hold. Haunds hands. Helpit helped. Het hot. Hide skin. Hoast cold, cough. Houghs upper limbs, quar- ters. Houp hope. Howdie midwife. Hurkles crouches. Ingan onion. Ingle-side fireside. Ither other. Jaud a term of contempt applied to a woman. Jorum a bowl of punch. Kail broth, soup. Kail-pat broth-pot. Kaim comb. Kebbuck cheese. Keepit kept. Ken know. Kink cough. Kintra country. Kirk church. Kittle deadly, difficult ; also to tickle. Knir a knot in wood. Knowe-^-a grassy hillock. Kye kine. Laird landed proprietor. Laith loath. Lane (his) alone. 2OI GLOSSARY Lang long. Lauchin' laughing. Lave remainder. Lea farm. Leal-hearded true-hearted. Lear learning. Leddy lady, Lee lie. Len' loan. Licht light. Lick thrash ; also to lap. Licking thrashing ; also lap- ping. Liket liked. Limmer an opprobrious term showing displeasure ; a worthless woman. Lo'ed loved. Loof hand. Lookit looked. Loon a shrewd or sly man. Lounders thrashings, severe blows. Loup leap. Lowse loose. Luckie a woman, mistress of a house. Luckpenny a small part of a price returned to a pur- chaser for luck. Lug ear. Ma' may. Mailin farm. Mair more. Mak's makes. 'Mang amongst. Manier manner. Maun must. Mawn mown. Meikle much. Merk a piece of Scots money now disused, equal to is. 8d. sterling. Mind remember. Mither mother. Mool mould, turf. Muckle large, much. Munches masticates with dif- ficulty. Nae no. Naething nothing. Neb nose. Needit required. Neist next. Neives hands, fists. Never devallin' unceasing. Nick cut, break. Ninny a nincompoop. Nip a small portion. Nowt oxen. Ony any. Ower over. Owsen oxen. Pad bad. Paik a stroke or blow. Pangin' cramming. Pap gentle stroke. Paraphernal a lady's per- sonal dress or ornaments. Pargain bargain. Partan crab. Peholden beholden. Pickle small portion. Pit put ; also its natural meaning. Pla' play. Pleasour pleasure. Pleugh plough. Plisky plight. Podley a small sea-fish. Poo bow. Pookin' pulling gently. Pool put. Pouch pocket. Powsowdie sheephead-broth. Preen pin. Process a legal suit. Pruif proof, evidence ; also impervious to. Pruive prove. Puddin' pudding. Puddock frog. Puir poor. Puirly poorly. Pund pound. Pu's pulls. Puzion poison. Queer strange. Rantin' excited, boisterous. Reamin' creaming. Red rid. 2O2 GLOSSARY Rich t right. Rifart radish. Riggin' roof of a cottage. Rinnin' running. Rins runs. Riskie risk. Rizzard sun-dried. Roose rouse. Roun' round. Rout cry out. Rung cudgel. Runt a decayed cabbage- stalk ; also an opprobrious term for an old woman. Sae so. Sair sore. Sail shall. Sang song. Sark shirt, shift. Saumon salmon. Sawted salted. Saxty sixty. Scadlips broth containing a little barley. Scald scold. Scate-rumples a portion of a skate. Scunner disgust, loathing. Seisin writ of infeftment in land. Sell't sold. Shae shoe. Shaw show. Shirra sheriff. Shool shovel. Shoon shoes. Shouther-blade shoulder- blade. Sicht sight. Siclike suchlike. Siever drain. Siller money. Skink soup made of beef- shin much boiled. Skreighed screamed, bawled. Sma' small. Sneeshin' snuff. Snook'd out held out, prying or smelling around like a dog. Snout nose. Sookin' sucking. Sortin' tuning ; also arrang- ing. Sough rumour. Soun' sound. Souple supple. Southron English. Spak' spoke. Speer inquire. Spunkie lively. Stamack stomach. Stane stone. Staps steps. Steek shut. Steer stirj move. Sticks out projects. Stieve stiff, strong. Stour dust driven by wind. Stove stewed. Stown stolen. Stumps about walks heavily or slowly. Stupit stupid. Submission arbitration. Subscrieve subscribe. Suld should. Sune soon. Suppin' supping. Swirl whirl. Syboe a young onion with its green tail. Syne then. Ta the. Tae too. Tae end the one end. Taeds toads. Taen taken. Tane the one. Tans toasts, gets browned. Tap top. Tenuity thinness, leanness. Terrorem victim of terror. Tested attested by witnesses. Teugh tough. Thegither together. Thocht thought. Thole bear, endure. Threeps insists, argues. Timmer wood, hard. Tipp't aff drank off. Tither the other. 203 GLOSSARY Toddled walked totteringly like a child. Toom empty. Toon town. Trig trim. Twa two. Tyke dog. Unco sad, very. Unkenn'd unknown, un- knowable. Usquebaugh whisky. Viduity widowhood. Vivers victuals, meats, sus- tenance. Wa' wall. Wad would. Wadna would not. Wae sad, woe. Waesome woesome. Wald would. Walth wealth. Wame belly. Wanchancie unlucky, unfor- tunate. Wares spends. Wark work. Washin 1 washing. Wasna was not. Waur aff worse off, ill. Weans children. Wee small. Weel well. Weir war, fights. Werena were not. Whar where. Whilk which. Whilly-wha coax, impose upon. Whomelled tumbled, turned over. Wi' with. Winna will not. Winsome lovely, captivating, cheery. Wizened shrivelled, dried up, wasted. Wrack wreck. Wrunkled wrinkled. Yer your. Yerked his head cudgelled or ransacked his brain. Yestreen last night. Yill ale. Youdi th youth. Yule Christmas. PRESENTATION VOLUMES OLD TIME ROMANCE SERIES A finely illustrated and richly illuminated series of volumes deal- ing with Old Time Romance and Story. Fcap. 8vo, 320 pages, 55. net ; in Leather, fs. 6d. net. I. LITTLE FLOWERS OF ST. FRANCIS. Translated from the Italian and edited by HENRY EDWARD, Cardinal Manning. With eight illustrations in colour by F. CAYI.BY ROBINSON, and richly decorated boards. LAVENGRO THE SCHOLAR, THE GYPSY, THE PRIEST By GEORGE BORROW. The Life and Character of the Gypsy. Twelve full-page illustrations in colour by EDMUND}. SULLIVAN. Extra Crown 8vo, 620 pages, Buckram, 55. net. In Persian Yapp Leather, 75. 6d. net. MODERN MUSICIANS A Book for Players, Singers, and Listeners. By J. CUTHBERT HADDEN. Containing twenty-one portraits. 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' ' The book," says The Edinburgh Review, "is one of the pleasantest fireside volumes that has ever been published." Cockburn's pen could tell a tale as well as his tongue, and to read this book is to sit, unob- served, at that immortal Round Table, with anecdote and reminis- cence in full tide. With twelve portraits in colour by Sir Henry Raeburn, and other illustrations. Extra Crown 8vo. - 480 pp. Buckram, 6/- net. AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF CARLYLE of INVERESK (1722-1805), edited by J. HILL BURTON. "He was the grandest demi-god I ever saw," wrote Sir Walter Scott of the author of this book. But, as these Memoirs show, he was a demi-god with a very human heart, or, at any rate, a "divine" with a thorough knowledge of the world. It was probably these qualities that madehim such a prominent figure in his day, and it is certainly these that give his Recollections their unique importance and raciness. 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