DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR BUREAU OF EDUCATION BULLETIN, 1917, No. 54 TRAINING IN COURTESY SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHING GOOD MANNERS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS BY MARGARET S. McNAUGHT COMMISSIONER OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS OP CALIFORNIA WASHINGTON GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE 1918 BULLETIN OF THE BUREAU OP EDUCATION. NOTE. With the exceptions indicated, the documents named below will be sent free of charge upon application to the Commissioner of Education, Washington, D. C. Those marked with an asterisk (*) are no longer available for free distribution, but may be had of the Superintendent of Documents, Government Printing Office, Washington, D. C., upon payment of the price stated. ^Remittances should be made in coin, currency, or money order. Stamps are not accepted. A complete list of available publications will be sent upon application. 1917. *No. 1. Monthly record of current educational publications, January, 1917. 5 cts. *No. 2. Reorganization of English in secondary schools. A report of the Com- mission on Secondary Education. James P. Hosic. 20 cts. *No. 3. Pme-needle basketry in schools. William C. A. -fiammel. 5 cts. No. 4. Secondary agricultural schools in Russia. W. S. Jesien. *No. 5. Report of an inquiry into the administration and support of the Colo- rado school system. Katherine M. Cook and A. C. Monahan. 10 cts. No. 6. Educative and economic possibilities of school -directed home gardening in Richmond, Ind. J. L. Randall. No. 7. Monthly record of current educational publications, February, 1917. No. 8. Current practice in city school administration. W. S. Deffenbaugh. No. 9. Department-store education. Helen R. Norton. No, 10. Development of arithmetic as a school subject. W, S. Monroe. *No. 11. Higher technical education in foreign countries. A. T. Smitli and W. S. Jesien. 20 cts. No. 12. Monthly record of current educational publications, March, 1917. No. 13. Monthly record of current educationalpublications, April, 1917. No. 14. A graphic survey of book publication, 1890-1916. F. E. Woodward. No. 15. Studies in higher education in Ireland and Wales, Geo. E. MacLean. No. 16. Studies in higher education in England and Scotland. Geo. E. Mac- Lean. No. 17. Accredited higher institutions. S. P. Capen. *No. 18. History of public-school education in Delaware. S. B. Weeks. 20 ct. No. 19. Report of a survey of the University of Nevada. No. 20. Activities of school children in out-of-school hours. C. D. Jarvis. No. 21. Monthly record of current educational publications, May, 1917. No. 22. Money value of education. A. C. Ellis. *No. 23. Three short courses in home making. Carrie A. Lyford. 15 cts. No. 24. Monthly record of current educational publications Index, February. 1916-January, 1917. No. 25. Military training of youths of school age in foreign countries. W. S. Jesien. No. 26. Garden clubs in the schools of Englewood, N. J. Charles O. Smith. No. 27. Training of teachers of mathematics for secondary schools. R. C. Arch- ibald. No. 28. Monthly record of current educational publications, June, 1917. No. 29. Practice teaching for secondary school teachers. A. R. Mead. No. 30. School extension statistics, 1915-16. Clarence A. Perry. No. 31. Rural-teacher preparation in county training schools and high schools. H. W. Foght. No. 32. Work of the Bureau of Education for the natives of Alaska, 1915 No. 33. A comparison of the salaries of rural and urban superintendents of schools. A. C. Monahan and C. H. Dye. [Continued on page 3 of cover,] DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR BUREAU OF EDUCATION BULLETIN, 1917, No. 54 TRAINING IN COURTESY SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHING GOOD MANNERS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS BY MARGARET S. McNAUGHT COMMISSIONER OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS OF CALIFORNIA WASHINGTON GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE 1918 ADDITIONAL COPIES OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE PROCURED FROM THE SUPERINTENDENT OF DOCUMENTS GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE WASHINGTON, D. C. AT 10 CENTS PER COPY CONTENTS. Page. Letter of transmittal 5 Introduction 7 I. What constitutes good conduct: Cleanliness 10 Neatness 14 Care of public property 15 Conduct at school 17 ^Tiat to do 20 What not tb do 21 Conduct at home 22 Common courtesies 23 Manners at the table 24 How to behave in camp or at a picnic 27 General rules of conduct 29 II. Good manners dramatized : Cleanliness 37 Fair play 38 Behavior on street cars 39 A picnic 41 Bibliography 42 3 383463 ILLUSTRATIONS Page. FIG. 1. Everybody clean. Everybody busy. Everybody happy Frontispiece. 2. An American gentleman 8 3. School children taking lessons in cleaning their teeth 12 4. Everybody clean. Everybody playing. Everybody happy 15 5. If these children are kind and polite, everybody will have a turn 18 6. This noble man was once a poor boy , 20 7. The right way to hold the knife and fork 24 8. The wrong way to hold the knife and fork 25 9. A beautiful picnic ground 27 10. A forest fire 28 11. A once beautiful and valuable forest now in ruins 29 12. Taking a present to a sick schoolmate 30 13. How not to walk on the sidewalk 32 14. Conversing with lady out of doors, therefore hat in hand 33 15. Dramatization of telling on themselves 38 16. Children dramatizing behavior on street cars 40 17. ("leaning up after a picnic 41 4 LETTER OF TRANSMITTAL. DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR, BUREAU OF EDUCATION, Washington, December 26, 1917. SIR: A year or so ago the department of education of the State of California published for use in the schools of that State a pamphlet containing many valuable suggestions for teaching good manners in the elementary schools. The matter and style of this pam- phlet are so good that I have induced Dr. Margaret Schallenberger McNaught, commissioner of elementary schools of California, the author of the pamphlet, to revise it for publication by the Bureau of Education, so that it may be thus made available for the schools of all the States, Territories, and possessions of the United States. I am transmitting this revision for this purpose. Respectfully submitted. P. P. CLAXTON, Commissioner The SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR. 34502 18 2 5 TRAINING IN COURTESY. INTRODUCTION. Realizing the difficulty of teaching morals and manners, subjects which the laws of many States require to he taught, this bulletin on good manners has been prepared as a help to elementary teachers. Though written for the teachers, it is addressed to the children and may be used in various ways : It may be read silently by the teacher and discussed with the children; it may be used merely as added material to suggest or to supplement lessons planned by the teacher for it is by no means exhaustive ; it may be read aloud to the children ; or the older boys and girls may read it for themselves. Acknowledgments are due to Mr. Frank L. Crone, Director of Edu- cation in the Philippines, for his courtesy in granting permission to use material contained in Bulletin No. 47, "Good Manners and Right Conduct," published by the Philippine Bureau of Education for use in primary grades; also to the Parent-Teacher Association of Santa Ana, Cal., for extracts from a pamphlet issued under the title, " Courtesies for Every Day," and adapted herein under the headings, " Street Conduct for Boys" and " Street Conduct for Girls"; also to Miss Bessie McCabe of the training department of the San Jose (Cal.) State Normal School for dramatization lessons in manners and con- duct wrought out under her direction by primary children and their student teachers. ^ An American visitor to Europe can tell, by the manners and the mode of speech, the social grade and education of almost every man, woman, and child he meets. The European visitor to America has no such guides in dealing with persons whom he meets on the streets or in railway trains and hotels. In Europe for centuries past the differ- ences in education and association have been so great as to make and mark a wide and deep distinction between the courtly manners of the gentleman and those of the shopkeeper, the mechanic, and the boor; and the effects of that training are everywhere evident. In our country the opposite course has been taken, and wherever manners are taught at all they are taught as parts of a universal democracy. The aim at an equality of manners began with the founders of the Republic. They showed this aim as markedly in social intercourse as in their political campaigns. A foreign minister once observed Thomas Jefferson lift his hat in response to an old negro who had bowed to him as he passed. " I am surprised, Mr. President," said the 8 TRAINING IN COURTESY. minister ; "that you take off your hat to a slave." "Why," replied Jefferson, "I should not like to have a slave more polite than I am." An American sailor landing in England shortly after the close of the War of the Revolution, took a first-class seat in a stage coach, but was told to get out, as such seats were reserved for gentlemen. "I am a FIG. 2. An American gentleman. gentleman," said the sailor. "Who made gentlemen out of fellows like you?" asked the coach guard. "George Washington," said the sailor; and he kept his seat. We have, then, a democracy of manners, established by Washing- ton, illustrated by Jefferson, and upheld by popular favor and aspira- INTRODUCTION. 9 tion. We can not expect, nor do we wish, to give to the busy workers of our land the fine, formal, elaborate manners of royal courts; but, on the other hand, we are not willing that any of our people shall have other iniinners than those which result from what was known of old as "good breeding." The importance of education in manners is due to the fact that a knowledge of social customs and social usages is almost as necessary to civilized man as a knowledge of how to earn a living. If men and women did hot know and observe the rule of the road "turn to the right," their movements along any street or highway would be a continuous disturbance of traffic, not only annoying, but liable to become dangerous at an unexpected moment. So it is with every other social custom. The young man or woman who does not know the rules of business or of social life is frequently ill at ease, awkward, confused, and unable rightly to exert powers of speech or action, when opportunities off ei for making friends that may be of larger importance than will come again for years. In all education, manners should be taught as matters of sufficient value to be studied for themselves, not merely as minor parts of health laws, good conduct, or school discipline. It is true that right manners resulting from good breeding tend toward health and good conduct and obedience, but they have also a virtue of their own. They demand for their attainment: First, control of petty irritations, capricious likes or dislikes, carelessness of speech, rudeness of action, and all foims of selfishness; and, second, consideration for others, kindliness of will, and gentleness of word and sentiment. The daily^ exercise of this control and this consideration of others reacts upon all the "impulses or processes of the mind and tends to produce < excellency of character. I. WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. CLEANLINESS. All of us like to have friends and to be near our friends. We should be careful, then, to please them and certainly we should not offend them. We are pleasanter companions when we are clean than when we are dirty. We may be offensive if we are dirty. Boys and girls who are not clean may be most unwelcome in a group of their classmates or playmates; yet no one of the group would wish to say to them, "You are not clean, I do not like to play with you/' because that might hurt the feelings of the uncleanly children. It is not necessary to be so unwelcome. 'We can be clean if we know how to be clean and if we take pride in being clean. There are certain facts about the care of the body that all boys and girls should know and certain acts of cleanliness that ought to be practiced so often and so regularly that they become habits of life. The older children of a family ought to help the younger and weaker ones until they are old enough and strong enough to care for themselves properly. Care of the ~body. Since we must look at one another as we work and play together, we ought to' look as clean as possible; the cleaner we are the better we look. It is agreeable to sit or to stand near a person who bathes frequently, for no unpleasant odor comes from the skin of such a person. It makes us happy to feel that those who are with us every day like to have us near them. You know how com- fortable we feel after we have had a good bath. We may not realize that not only are we ourselves comfortable and happy because we are clean, but that we are making others comfortable and happy, because we are clean; and that for this reason they like to look at us and they like to be near us. It is because other people are made uncomfort- able when we are dirty that it shows good manners on our part to be as clean as possible. We know it is bad manners to say things which hurt the feelings of others. I wonder if we ever have thought it is bad manners to hurt the feelings of other people by coming among them with unclean bodies or that it shows good manners to give people pleasure by being as clean as possible. We can not give this pleasure unless we bathe the whole body in a tub, if possible, using warm water and soap, at least once a week twice would be better and change soiled underclothing for clean 10 WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 11 garments certainly once a week. In warm weather we should bathe oftener with warm water and soap, because we perspire more freely. Face and hands. No one likes to look at a dirty face or dirty hands. No one enjoys being touched by dirty hands. If the hands are soiled in a kind of work or play that makes it impossible to keep them clean, they should be washed when this kind of work or play is ended and before beginning other work or play that will not soil them. Your teacher will be glad to talk this over with you and tell you when your hands should be specially clean. The whole face and hands and wrists and neck and ears should be carefully washed and wiped dry every morning before breakfast and at other times during the day when necessary. Nails. It is not at all easy to keep the nails clean, but every self- respecting boy and girl should clean the nails at least once a day. The best time is before breakfast, the best place is in the bedroom or the bathroom, the best nail cleaner is not made of metal. An orange-wood stick is excellent; a toothpick is good. Keep the nails trimmed, or better, filed, neatly. If they are too long they are likely to collect dirt and also to break. Ragged, broken nails, or nails that are bitten are very unsightly. Nobody likes to look at them. On the other hand, it is a pleasure to look at well-shaped, clean nails. We can give this pleasure if we take the trouble. Let us look at our nails and imagine whether they would be pleasing to others. Hair. Because boys wear the hair short it is easier for them than for girls to keep it clean; boys can wash the head oftener than girls. However, if the hair is carefully brushed as well as combed every day, it is kept free from tangles and from much dust that would gather in these tangles; About once in two weeks is sufficiently often for girls to wash their hair. Would it not be fine if every boy and every girl in the United States took pride in having a clean scalp and clean hair ? When away from home take your own comb and brush with you. Do not uselrpttblio brush or comb for your hair any more than you would use a public towel to wipe your face and hands. Be sure, too, to wash your brush and comb whenever they get dirty. You can not have clean hair if you use a sticky, greasy brush and comb. Nose. Not only the outside of the nose should be bathed but also the inside, for the nostrils catch much dust. If the nose is not kept clean an itching may be felt, and this itcjiing causes some children to pick the nose. This is not cleanly. Never pick the nose. Strange to say, there are people who do not use their handkerchiefs. Such people are very unpleasant companions. No one likes to sit near them or to look at them, and yet no one feels like saying, " Where is your handkerchief? Why don't you use it?" These are questions we ought to ask ourselves, and we ought to answer them by keeping 12 TRAINING IN COURTESY. a handkerchief in the pocket and using it whenever necessary, not only for the sake of making ourselves comfortable but because we respect the feelings of people who are obliged to be near us wherever we go. We have no right to make another person uncomfortable. Do not use a handkerchief too many times. When it is soiled, wash it with soap and warm water till it is clean again, or place it in the laundry bag or basket where it will be washed, and get a clean one. It is better to carry 1 clean handkerchief than 10 soiled ones, and far better to carry one clean one than a clean one and a soiled one. We should take pride not only in having a handker- chief, but in having a clean one. A piece of plain, white cloth, FIG. 3. School children taking lessons in cleaning their teeth. neatly hemmed, looks better and shows more refinement than a soiled handkerchief, even if the soiled one is made of fine linen or silk and trimmed with lace. Look in your pocket for your handkerchief. Is it there ? Is it clean or is it not clean ? Never leave home without a clean handkerchief. Teeth. Sometimes we turn our heads away when certain people come too near us, because we dislike the odor of their breath; it is very unpleasant, but we do not like to speak of it. I wonder if } T OU have a bad breath. This bad breath often comes from teeth which are not kept clean. The teeth need to be brushed with water and a good toothbrush, using tooth powder or a tooth liquid or paste, just WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 13 as regularly as tho faro is washed, yet there are children who seldom or never brush their teeth, but let a yellowish scum cover them. No one likes to look at this scum, but everybody likes to see bright, pearly teeth. All boys and girls ought to have self-respect enough to keep their teeth clean. Save your pennies and buy a good tooth- brush. Everybody should own his own toothbrush. Never use another person's toothbrush. People who have always used tooth- brushes and who know the thing to do never use any but their own. Have you a toothbrush? Do you keep it clean? Do you use it every day ? Spitting. Sometimes children, and grown people too, from lack of thought, or because they have never been properly taught, do things that are not clean and cause others annoyance and discomfort. One of these is spitting. People who are truly cleanly never, under any circumstances, spit upon the floor or upon the steps of a building, in the street cars, or on the sidewalk. If they find it necessary to spit they use the hand- kerchief. In many of the large office buildings in our cities the cuspidor has been taken away, because it was found that its presence encouraged the uncleanly act of spitting. Remember it is considered bad man- ners to spit at all in public except into the handkerchief, and then one should do so in such a way as to attract as little attention as possible. Do it quietly; make as little noise as possible. Mouth. The mouth should be kept clean. Food and drink must go into the mouth. We all like to have our food clean and we do not like to drink anything that is not clean, yet sometimes between meals many dirty things get into people's mouths. It is bad manners to hold things in the mouth, like pennies or nickels, to chew the ends of pencils, to suck or lick the fingers, or to put ink on the lips or the tongue. There are many other reasons why we ought not to do these things, but I wonder if we think enough about its being bad manners. We do not have to have bad manners; of course not. If you were going to have a photograph taken of yourself, you would not have it taken with your fingers in your mouth, or chewing the end of a penholder. You know you would not look well. It would not be polite to give your friends such a picture. What kind of a ' 'picture " do you make when you soil your mouth by chewing pencils, or sucking or licking your fingers? To some people you are very repulsive when you get your mouth dirty; they do not like to look at you. All your friends that know what is right wish you would not have these habits. For the sake of these frionds, because it will make them happy, because it shows kindness and politeness to them, keep your rnouth clean. 34502 18 3 14 TRAINING IN COURTESY. Care of the clothing. Boys and girls can not always have as many clean clothes, perhaps, as they would like; but if they would be careful they might keep their clothes cleaner than some of them do. When eating, care should be taken not to spill food on the clothing. Grease or sirup or sticky candy makes spots. When spots do appear they may often be taken out with soap and water, and the place can be rubbed softly with a dry, clean cloth, or the garment hung in the air to dry. Sometimes a cleansing material bought at the store is better than soap and water, because water may take the color out of he cloth. Your mother or your teacher will tell you what to do if you wish to take out a spot. Coats and hats may be firmly hung on hooKs or laid on shelves when not in use instead of being thrown at the hooks or on the floor, to gather dust and grease and sometimes to be trodden upon. After school, boys and girls, before beginning to work or play, can often change their school clothes for older ones, and so have a school suit, which will stay clean a long time. If you do not care how you look, your friends care. They like to see you dressed in clothing that is as clean as possible. An old garment, even if made of cheap material, gives the wearer an air of refinement if it is clean, but the most costly material, if it is covered with spots, can never make a person look anything but dirty. NEATNESS. It Is not enough that we are clean; we should also be neat. If the clothes are put on carelessly, if the shoes have broken laces or loose buttons, if the hair is unparted or the hair ribbon is carelessly tied, the result is not pleasing. . People think that we are slovenly, that we are lacking in self-respect, that we do not show respect to others. The following rules might well be put into practice: (1) Brush and comb the hair and part it neatly every morning be- fore breakfast. When it gets rumpled, brush it again. If you are a girl, tie your hair carefully with a smooth, clean ribbon. (2) Brush and polish the shoes, not forgetting the heels. See that the laces are firmly tied or that every button is in its place and but- toned. (3) Put the clothing on carefully. Be sure that buttons are sewed on and that holes are mended. You can mend your clothing yourself, perhaps, and if you are a big girl you can mend your little sister's and your brother's. Surely you like to see them making a good appear- ance quite as much as appearing well yourself. A darn or a patch is no disgrace. It shows the wearer has self-respect and respect for others. If you can not mend a torn garment and wish to do so, your teacher will show you how or will get some one else to show you. WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 15 (4) If you are a boy, tie your necktie carefully. If you are a girl, make your ribbon bows look neat and jaunty. Always wear clean ribbons. Not all ribbons wash well, but it is in better taste to wear faded, clean ribbons than ribbons which show more color but are spotted and greasy. Do not wear too many ribbons nor very large bows; they bother other people; and the less jewelry the better. Neatness is pleasing; we enjoy looking at neat people, but no one can look neat who is covered with bits of lace, flying ribbons, and dangling jewelry. FIG. 4. Everybody clean. Everybody playing. Everybody happy. CARE OF PUBLIC PROPERTY. Those who have learned what is the custom among well behaved people, and who pride themselves on being good citizens, are very careful when using public property even more careful than with their own. It is not that they are afraid of being arrested or pun- ished, but they do not wish to be careless or dirty; they would be ashamed to throw orange peelings, apple cores, scraps of paper, or anything else that would look untidy or uncleanly in a public park, on the street, or in the schoolroom or school yard. Neither would they scratch or whittle furniture, nor make marks on buildings or fences, nor scribble in books or soil or tear them. They think it would be a disgrace to do things like these, because it is not the custom of the best American citizens, and they wish to do what the best people do. 16 TRAINING IN COURTESY. We can not always have the use of the best houses and the best furniture or the best books, but we can have the best ways of taking care of them. The property may be public property, that is, it may belong to all of us. Each one of us can have good ways, right ways, of caring for things and the best way surely is none too good for an American girl or an American boy. Let us hold up our heads and be proud of taking the best care possible of everything we use. Ask your teacher how you can help in taking care of the school yard, the schoolroom floor, the dressing rooms, the lavatories, the sheds for horses or other buildings on the school grounds, the furni- ture, the plants, the books. You can be sure of this: You will be of much help if you try not to harm any of these. Books. You use books every day at school. How do you use them? If treated well, books will look well for a long time. No one likes to see or enjoys using soiled, torn, or dog-eared books. If you are not sure how to handle books here are a few suggestions that may help you : Opening books. In opening a new book take your time; do not be in a hurry. Lay the book on the desk ; turn the upper cover slowly back till it touches the desk; take a few leaves, not more than 10, and turn them gently back upon the upper cover; proceed in like manner with the other leaves until all have been turned back; do all gently and with care. The loose leaves you see in many books may not be loose because the book is old; loose leaves are often found in fresh, Dew books, because they have been roughly handled and hurriedly opened. Turning the leaves. See that the hands are clean and dry when using books. Turn a leaf by placing the fingers under the upper corner and literally turning it over; never by wetting the fingers in the mouth so that the paper sticks to the finger. Use a bookmark to keep the place; never bend down the corners of the leaves. Keeping books clean. Do not leave a book where it can be easily soiled; for example, on the floor, on the steps of the school building, on the ground or grass, or in the lunch basket or pail. Surely nothing destroys the pleasure of using books more than splashes of ink on the covers and on the white paper. In filling inkwells in school desks we ought to be careful not to fill them too full, so that they spill and spoil our books; and of course we ought never to deface them with ink or even with pencil marks. If we ever have done these things, let us decide right now to stop. It is not a good way; and, remember, the best ways are none too good, for us. Misusing books. Books are meant to be read, but sometimes people use books as they would use pockets, and fill them with all sorts of odds and ends letters, pencils, rubbers, knives, etc. Blowers are sometimes pressed in them. All this kind of usage is wrong, for WHAT CONSTI TTTKS COOD CONDUCT. 17 it blurs the ]>riul and strains the binding. It is not the way to treat books. Manila paper covers will aid much in keeping the covers of books clean, but the inside of the book contains the reading matter, and surely that, too, deserves careful treatment. Books are the good "friends" of the school. School boys and girls ought to act in a friendly way toward them. Borrowed books. If you borrow a book, fix a time for its return, and return it when you have promised to do so. A borrowed book should be returned in as good condition as when it passed from the owner's hands to yours. If a borrowed book is accidently lost or is marred in any way soiled or torn or the cover bent or broken common sense, good manners, and right conduct require that it should be replaced by a new book. That is what a fair-minded, rightly behaved person does, not because he is advised to do so or made to do so, but because it is right. You remember how honorable Lincoln was when a book he had borrowed was accidently spoiled. When a boy Lincoln was poor, so he had no money to buy another, but he worked for the man from whom he had borrowed it till it was paid for. Lincoln did the right thing. Lincoln's way was a good way, the best way; let us have it for our way. CONDUCT AT SCHOOL. The school life of every boy and girl is as much a part of his life as his home life. Many of the little courtesies which make the home a pleasant place to live in also make the school a pleasant place to live in. Why not remember that the teachers and the boys and girls of the schools have feelings and like to be made happy just as much as the parents, the grandparents, the aunties, the uncles, and the children of . the . homes ? There are certain little forms or ways of greeting one another that have become customary among kind-hearted people, which, if rightly used, do give real pleasure not very much, perhaps but there may be many of them during the day, and when they are all added together at the end they amount to more than might be imagined. However, there is no form, no way of greeting, no group of mere words, that will take the place of the kind thought which makes us wish to give the greeting, or of the tone of voice and manner of giving it. We should never learn set forms of words and use them as we would use ma- chines. If we do this, we are not truly polite. Our conduct is then not really right conduct. Remember that in any greeting the voice and manner are always more important than the words of the greeting. Here are some of the forms that may help you to make school life pleasanter for your teachers, for your schoolmates, and for yourself: Manner of address. Address your teacher by his or her own name, never as "Teacher." 18 TRAINING IN COURTESY. When you enter the schoolroom in the morning, say "Good morn- ing, Mr. Wilson/' or "Good morning, Miss Holmes." On leaving at night, say "Goodbye, Mr. Wilson," or "Goodbye, Miss Holmes." If you meet your teacher ha the afternoon on the street or elsewhere, do not shout or call to her at a distance. Wait until you approach each other; then say quietly, "Good afternoon, Miss Holmes." Do not say "Hello" in greeting one older than yourself. It is never a suitable greeting to give to girls or to be used by girls. A plain "Yes" or "No" to one older than yourself is discourteous. It sounds harsh and rude. Soften it by adding some little word or phrase as "Yes, sir," "No, mother," "Yes, I think so," "No, madam," "Yes, father," "No, I am sure you are mistaken," "Yes, I'll be glad to help you," or the name of the person to whom you are speaking, as "Yes, Mr. Wilson." FIG. 5. If these children are kind and polite, everybody will have a turn. It is not the best usage to say, "Yes, Miss," "Yes, Mrs." "Yes, lady," or "No, Mr." Always follow Miss, Mrs., or Mr. by the name of the person if you know it. If you do not know it, say "Yes, madam," (not "Yes, lady"); or "No, sir." In some homes children are taught to say " Yes, ma'am" and "No, ma'am/' to ladies. This form is not wrong, but it is not used so much as it was years ago. A boy who once said " Yes, ma'am," to his mother is very likely now to say "Yes, mother." It is the form which is to-day most commonly used. Interruptions. Do not interrupt one who is speaking, whether conversing or reciting, either by speaking or by raising the hand, and never, under any circumstances, snap the fingers to attract attention. If you do this you seem to say "What you are saying is of no importance. 7 know more than you do. Just listen to me." Would this be polite? WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 19 Service. Be helpful in cleaning blackboards, in opening or closing doors and windows, in lifting benches, chairs, or other objects when necessary, in picking up things accidentally dropped, in passing ma- terials. Do not wait always to be asked, but be quick to see when you can be of service and "lend a hand." Be as quiet as possible when you are helping. In shifting chairs or benches be sure to keep them, free from the floors. Dragging them makes an unpleasant sound and is bad both for the floor and for the furniture. In cleaning blackboards raise as little dust as possible. Be sure the eraser is clean and that the dust is not blown into anyone's face. Sympathy. It is unkind to laugh at the mistakes of others. You yourself make mistakes sometimes, don't you? Do you like to be laughed at when you misspell a word or give a wrong answer or re- ceive a low grading or slip or stumble ? No ; of course not. It is a very good plan when your friend or schoolmate makes a mistake of any kind to "put yourself in his place," and try to think how you would feel if you had made the same mistake. If you imagine how he feels, you will not be likely to laugh. You do not intend to be unkind or heartless, but you are careless and you hurt the feelings of your schoolmate. There is an old saying which tells us that some- times as much harm is wrought by want of thought as by want of heart. If you can give the one who has made the blunder a word or look of encouragement, do so. Let him know that you understand how he feels and that you will help him out of his trouble as well as you can; or sometimes do not look at him at all, but help to have the mistake passed by and forgotten as soon as possible. If you are trying to put yourself in his place, you will be almost sure to know the best thing to do. Be kind to the unfortunate. Do not tease a foolish, half-witted boy or girl, nor laugh at a deformed schoolfellow. If you are sound in mind and body, be thankful and show your thankfulness by treat- ing the afflicted kindly. If one of the pupils in your school is a hunchback or a cripple, be careful not to mention his deformity. Try to have him enter into your sports as much as possible and make him forget that he is a cripple. New pupils. If a new pupil comes to school, do not stand and stare at him or whisper to one another about his clothes or his appearance. Welcome him to your school as you would a friend to your home. If he is not introduced to you, say " Will you tell me your name, please ? " Then introduce him to the other boys and girls and have him join you in play. Sometimes a boy or girl is very lone- some and home-sick the first day in a new school. Try to make this first day a pleasant one instead of an unhappy, dreary one. 20 TRAINING IN COURTESY. Rich and poor. If your father has a little more money than the fathers of some of the children, do not boast of it. You are no better than your schoolmates because you may wear better clothes or have better toys and books. Many of our greatest and noblest men and women were poor boys and girls. On the other hand, if you have not much money nor many fine clothes, do not feel humble or ashamed. Work and play happily. Use your schoolbooks and other school materials with the same freedom that the other children do. Remember you are attending a public school in America. No boys or girls whose friendship you really wish are thinking about your clothes. They are thinking about you, and if you study your lessons, are a good playfellow, are kind-hearted, and have good manners you are sure to be respected by old and young and to make good friends. When schoolmates are ill. If a schoolmate is absent from school because of illness not caused by a contagious disease, ask your teacher if the class may be permitted to write letters to the absent one, saying that you will be " postman" and see that they are delivered. Sometimes, however, the letters may be sent by mail. Tell the schoolmate all the school news, especially anything that is funny. It is a good thing to make a well person laugh FIG. 6.-This noble man was once &t the right ^^ and l auglung j s especially good for one who is ill. Say, too, that you hope your friend will soon be well and that you miss him. Flowers, when they can be obtained, are very welcome gifts for sick folks. If you were ill you would be glad to hear from your school friends, wouldn't you? Other boys and girls are a good deal like you; they have the same feelings. Remembering those who are "shut in" on account of sickness in ways like these is a custom among thoughtful, kind-hearted, well-behaved people, and a very good custom it is. Since we have to live in a world of people, it is a good idea to follow the best customs. Is any schoolmate of yours ill ? What can you do for him ? Ask your teacher. WHAT TO DO. (1) Come to school on time, wearing as clean clothing as possible, with face and hands and neck and ears washed, teeth brushed, nails cleaned, shoes polished, ancfhair neatly brushed and combed. If you come barefooted, see that your feet are as clean as possible. (2) Be cheerful. Say "Good morning" and "Good night" to your teacher and to your schoolmates. WHAT CONST IT 1'TKS GOOD CONDUCT. 21 (3) Treat the. school buildings and the school furniture with inspect. They are for use, but not for abuse. Talk and nmvo quietly in the schoolhouse whether school is in session or not. II you am a hoy, take off your hat when you enter the door of the school building. (4) Use all books carefully, keeping them as clean and in as good condition as possible (5) Treat the school grounds with respect. Throw all pieces of paper, scraps of food, etc., into the garbage can. 1 Help sometimes to put the school yard in specially good order. Take pride in the way it looks. (6) Be kind to the younger and weaker boys and girls, to those who are crippled, to strangers and foreigners and to all others who need your help. (7) If you are a boy, be respectful to ladies and to girls. Raise your hat when you greet them. Stand aside to let them pass out of a doorway first. Carry heavy bundles for them. (8) If you are a girl, receive the attention of boys courteously. Always say " Thank you" distinctly, so they can hear you, whenever boys have done favors for you, such as opening doors, carrying parcels, or handing you something you have dropped. (9) Stand and walk with head erect and shoulders thrown back. (10) Lift your feet in walking; have a spring in your step. (11) Look people straight in the eyes. (12) Always say " Excuse me" or " Pardon me" when you can not avoid passing in front of a person. (13) Repeat to your friends the pleasant things you hear said of them and try to forget the unpleasant ones. (14) Remember to offer your services from time to time. Do not wait till your teacher asks a favor of you, but before she makes the request ask her if you can be of help. (15) Be thoughtful of schoolmates who are ill and out of school. Write to them. If possible send them flowers or other little gifts. Perhaps, unless ill with a contagious disease, you can visit them sometimes; at least ask how they are. WHAT NOT TO DO. (1) Do not pout when asked to do something which seems un- pleasant. (2) Do not tease those who are deformed or crippled or any who are weaker than yourself. (3) Do not laugh at the mistakes or failures of others. 1 Note to the trustees. School yards should be provided with receptacles for trash. At least one galva- nized-iron garbage can with a top should be the property of every school. Children often scatter refuse because they have no suitable place to put it. 22 TRAINING IX COURTESY. (4) Do not boast when you win in a contest. (5) Do not whine when you are beaten in a contest. (6) Do not crowd and push through doorways. (7) Do not look over another's shoulder to see what he is reading or writing. (8) Do not interrupt a person speaking. (9) Do not flatly contradict anyone. (10) Do not listen at doors or windows to conversations which you are not expected to overhear. (11) Do not rudely stare at strangers nor Question them curiously about their private affairs. (12) Do not talk nor laugh noisily nor play roughly in the school building. (13) Do not spit on the floor or on any part of the school building or buildings. (14) Do not forget to have a clean handkerchief nor to use it when necessary. (15) Do not handle books carelessly or with dirty hands. (16) Do not forget to say "Good morning" and "Good night" to your teacher, nor to say it pleasantly and heartily. If you are a boy, and are outside the building wearing your hat, do not forget to lift it when you greet your teacher. (17) Do not be late to school nor absent from school unless it is necessary. When you come late or are absent you give other people trouble, and giving other people trouble when it is not necessary to do so is bad manners. (18) Do not be in a hurry to tell tales about the misdoings of other people, but be in a great hurry to tell when you yourself have made a mistake or have done something wrong. You are probably sorry. Do not be afraid or ashamed to say so. CONDUCT AT HOME. Father and mother are your best friends. They love you and care for you. You love them, but that is not enough; you should be just as careful to be polite to them as to be polite to strangers. You should delight in serving and helping them. You should be polite, too, to your brothers and sisters. "True politeness consists in making everyone about us happy." Say "Good morning" to the other members of your family every morning, and on going to bed say "Good night." On leaving to go to school say "Good-by" to your father and mother. When school is dismissed go home at once unless you re- main at the request of the teacher; and on reaching home let your parents know that you have returned. Say "Please" or "If you please" when you ask for something; "Please pass the bread, Mary;" "Father, I should like some more WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 23 meat, if you please;" "Will you please lend me your knife, John?" Answer, "Certainly." Do not pass rudely in front of people. If necessary to pass in front, say "Excuse me, please," or, "Please excuse me," or, "Pardon me." Never quarrel nor wrangle with the other members of your family. Speak kindly to those who serve you and always say, " Thank you," when they do you a service. Be polite to a caller or guest at your home, and always offer him a seat when he enters the house. When older people are talking you should never interrupt. Above all things never contradict the statements of your elders. If you think they are mistaken, wait until you can speak to them quietly and alone. If you want to help make your home a happy place, always try to be cheerful. Do not grumble even when you do not feel well. You should help different members of your family in every way possible. How can you help your mother? Your father? Your little sisters or brothers ? Your big sisters or brothers ? Your grand- mother or grandfather, or others in the household ? COMMON COURTESIES. Well-trained young people show due courtesy to ladies and to elders, on all occasions. When an elderly person or a lady enters a room in which a young person is occupying the easiest chair, the younger should give the chair to the elder. Simply offering it is not enough. In cars and in public places, neither elderly persons nor ladies should be allowed to stand. Young people ought to give up their seats, promptly and cheerfully, with some such pleasant speech as : " Have this seat, please," or "Please be seated," or "Let me stand, please." In school and in crowded places, such as the theater or the church, "Room for the ladies," is a good motto for boys to observe. In passing through a doorway, boys and girls should always wait until ladies and all other elder persons have passed through. If it is necessary to hold the door ope'h, one of them should perform this duty as a matter of course and not wait to be asked to do so. When older people do not forget their manners they notice such little acts of courtesy by a bow or a pleasant smile or a quiet "Thank you." But whether they do or not, boys and girls should be polite.. When in a crowd looking at a procession, a circus parade or any- thing of this kind, if you are rather tall, do not crowd ahead of smaller children, and if you are big and strong lift a little one in your arms sometimes, so he can see better. Remember how you used to feel when you were small and larger people crowded in front of you and shut off your view. Have respect for the little ones as well as for those who are grown up. 24 TRAINING IN COURTESY. Sometimes people who come from other countries do not wear the same kind of clothes that we do. They look queer to us. Some- times before they learn English well these foreigners pronounce words in a way that sounds funny to us, but we ought never to laugh. If we should go to a foreign country our clothes might look queer to the people who live there, and we certainly would make many blun- ders in learning their language. We should not like to be laughed at. Therefore, the right sort of people do not laugh at foreigners; they help them all they can and show them the respect that every boy and girl ought to show to every other boy and girl, no matter where they were born. FIG. 7. The right way to hold the knife and fork. MANNERS AT THE TABLE. We sometimes feel awkward and do not know how to behave at the table when we eat at the hom6 of a friend or a stranger, or at a party. This may be because we have not practiced good table manners daily at home. Good table manners make our homes happier and are well worth while for that reason alone. No manners are too fine to use every day in home and school. The best are none too good for us. Emerson said, " Eat at your own table as you would eat at the table of a king." When called to a meal, go at once. Tardiness at table shows carelessness and a lack of consideration for the hostess. When at home your mother is your hostess or lady of the house. Take your seat when the lady of the house takes hers, and rise when she gives WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 25 the signal. If it is necessary to leave the table before the meal is over, say "May I be excused, please?" or, "Please excuse me." Sit erect, not too close to, nor too far from the table. You may place the napkin in your lap when you first sit down. Keep your hands quietly in your lap until served. Do not handle your knife and spoon, or drum on the table, or fidget. Show no impatience to be served. Never be in a hurry. There should be no reaching after things on the table. If servants are not near, politely ask some one to pass the dish; as, "Will you be kind enough to pass the salt?" or simply, "Please pass the dessert." When anything is offered say "Thank you," when declined say "No, I thank you," or "Not any, thank you." If any dishes containing food nro near you, do not help yourself and then put them down, FIG. 8. The wrong way to hold the knife and fork. but before serving yourself pass the dish to the one sitting next you, saying, "Will you have some jelly? " or, "Shall I pass you the nuts? " Think constantly of others at the table rather than of yourself and try to see that they are well served. Do not be selfish. It is very ill-mannered, when there is any choice of food, to pick over everything on the plate to get the largest or choicest for yourself. The elbows should be kept near the sides. Do not spread them in cutting meat or other food. Every movement at the table should be made as quietly as possible. Moving the feet, leaning upon the table, or clattering knives, forks, and dishes shows ignorance of table manners. Eat slowly. Do not fill the mouth too full, ("hew your food well, and chew it with the mouth shut. Do not smack the lips in eating 26 TRAINING IN COURTESY. sweets or other foods. When eating soup, take it from the side of the spoon, quietly. Do not draw in the breath and make a hissing sound when doing so. It sounds unpleasant. Use a knife, fork, or spoon. There are two good reasons for not eating with the fingers first, it does not look well; second, it is not cleanly. The knife is used for cutting food and for buttering bread; it should never be put into the mouth. The fork is used for carrying food to the mouth; it should not be overloaded. The spoon is used for stirring tea or coffee and in eating cereals and certain desserts. Never leave the spoon in the cup. When the sugar has been dissolved, place the spoon beside the cup in the saucer. WHAT NOT TO DO AT THE TABLE. (1) Do not come to meals with dirty hands or face or uncombed hair. (2) Do not eat hurriedly. (3) Do not draw in the breath when eating nor make a noise when drinking from a cup or from a soup plate. (4) Do not fill the mouth too full. You can not talk with the mouth full of food, and the table is a place for pleasant conversation as well as for eating. (5) Do not smack the lips nor make a noise in chewing. (6) Do not open the mouth in chewing. (7) Do not wipe the mouth on the edge of the tablecloth or on the corner of the napkin left folded on the table. (8) Do not leave the table with food in the mouth. (9) Do not rinse the mouth at the table. (10) Do not pick the teeth nor put the fingers into the mouth at the table, nor lick the knife or fork or the fingers. (11) Do not pour gravy over potatoes and then mix the gravy and potatoes together with the knife. (12) Do not bend over the table; sit erect. (13) Do not make gestures with the knife, fork, or spoon. (14) Do not hold the knife and fork awkwardly. Do not clutch the handles strongly. In cutting meat or other food, the tines of the fork should point down. (15) Do not reach too far for a dish; ask politely to have it passed to you, or pass your plate and ask to be served. (16) In passing your plate for a second portion do not hold the knife and fork outside the plate at the sides, but lay them down in the plate at one side, near the edge. (17) Do not serve yourself with butter with your own knife; use the butter knife. Do not put your own knife, fork, or spoon into any dish that is for the use of all persons at the table. WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 27 (18) Do not butter a whole slice of bread at once; break off a small piece to butter. (19) Do not speak of disgusting or disagreeable things at the table. If, on the other hand, you know a good joke, the table is one of the best possible places to tell it. (20) Do not cough nor sneeze without turning your head and placing your napkin to your mouth and nose. FIG. 9. A beautiful picnic ground. HOW TO BEHAVE IN CAMP OR AT A PICNIC. Many people who show fairly good manners at home or in the homes of their friends behave very strangely at out-of-door picnics. They are sometimes thoughtless, rude, and even lawless. If the picnic is in the woods, where grass and ferns and wild flowers are growing, do not tread carelessly on the grass nor tear up the ferns and flowers by the roots. Other people will some day wish to have a picnic in the very same place; perhaps to-morrow. Is it right to take from them the opportunity for enjoyment which you are having ? You think the tufts of grass, feathery ferns, and brightly colored flowers are pretty. So do they. Leave as many as possible for their pleasure. 28 TRAINING IN COURTESY. If it is found necessary to build a fire, it should be done under the direction of an older person or by a Boy Scout or Camp Fire Girl who has learned the forestry laws. Care should be taken to build it on bare ground or sand and not near grass, ferns, dry leaves, or twigs. Be sure to comply with the forestry laws of the Federal Government and of the State regarding the building of fires. Do not break branches of strong, fine trees and shrubs for your fire logs. Try to find some pieces of dry, dead wood, even if you have to go some distance for them. Here also obey the laws. At the " table" use the very same manners you use at home. To be sure, you may have to eat sandwiches without the use of knives and forks, but see to it that your hands are especially clean. Do not be rough and boisterous and selfish, simply because you are out of FIG. 10. A forest fire. This fire may have been started by people who did not know how to behave at a picnic; they may have left some sparks in the picnic fire when they "broke camp. " doors. This does not mean that you should not be happy and jolly. Picnics ought to bring out all the fun there is in you. Have a good time, but a good time does not mean a rude time. Try to see that others are well served, especially mothers and fathers and grand- mothers and grandfathers, and other older people; and do not forget the little ones and those who are not strong and well. Help in setting the " table" and in clearing it away. When the luncheon is over, carefully gather all the pieces of paper, paper boxes, bags, bottles, tin cans, andscraps of food. If thereis no receptacle pro- vided for them, take them home with you and destroy them. Tin cans, broken bottles, egg shells, orange and banana peels, and wind-blown papers have ruined many a beautiful picnic ground. Do not throw refuse into a running stream; it may pollute the water. In many WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 29 States placards are placed in the mountain regions to remind people of the right thing to do. One placard reads as follows: Leave your camp as you would like to find it. Burn or bury all refuse. Keep the pleasure grounds of America clean. Leave the picnic or camping grounds, then, in as good order as you can, and, most important of all, be sure your fire is out, so that not a single spark can be blown into a little cluster of dry leaves to start a forest fire which will destroy, perhaps, many forest homes and thou- FIG. 11. A once beautiful and valuable forest now in ruins. This forest may have been destroyed by a picnic fire. sands of dollars worth of fine timber. The boy or girl who lives in the forest well understands how necessary it is to extinguish a fire. Some of them have fought forest fires and some have lost their homes by the carelessness of other people. All American boys and girls should learn how to " break camp" and should take pride in doing it as well as any forester. GENERAL RULES OF CONDUCT. , Consideration for others is the basis of all true courtesy. All well-- mannered persons show consideration for others. Consideration means careful thought ; that is, you must have the will to do for others the things that you would have others do for you ; the will to say to 30 TRAINING IN COURTESY. others the pleasant and courteous things that you would like to have others say to you. Forget yourself. Think of others at home, at school, and in public. Behavior in a sick room. Always be very clean and neat when you go to see a sick person. When you go into the room, walk to the bed, FIG. 12. Taking a present to a sick schoolmate. but do not jar it, for that might give your friend pain, and do not sit on the bed ; it may not be comfortable for the one in bed to have you sit there, and your clothing may soil or rumple the clean, white bedspread. Talk in a low tone of voice, but do not whisper, and walk quietly; not on tiptoe, but quietly. Do not look sad or mournful; look as WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 31 cheerful as you can and tell your friend you hope soon to see him weH and to be playing with him again. Bring with you, if you can, some little gift; a few fresh, dainty flowers (not flowers with a strong odor), or a glass of mother's good jelly or the latest magazine or a book with interesting pictures. Have ready some funny little story to relate, or tell a good joke. Never tell a sick person anything sad or that which would trouble or worry him. Do not stay long. It is better before you enter the room to ask the nurse or the one who is taking care of the patient how long you ought to stay. Sometimes only a few minutes is long enough. If some one else comes to see your friend while you are there, you'd better not stay any longer, but tell your friend "Good-by" and ask if there is a mes- sage he would like to send or an errand you could do and say that you will come again before long. Do not kiss a sick person; shake hands, or sometimes just bow pleasantly or wave your hand. Remember to go again but not too often. Too many visits to peo- ple who are ill are worse than none. You can make inquiry though, and you can write little notes telling your friend news that will inter- est him. Behavior on the street and sidewalk. Do not block doorways, hall- ways, stairways, or sidewalks. Remember this is a rudeness that arises very often from thoughtlessness; others have a right to pass that way. How do you feel when somebody blocks the sidewalk so that you have to step out into the street in order to pass ? You think that "somebody" rude, don't you? Make up your mind never to be guilty of such rudeness yourself. Give a good rule for passing when two groups of people meet on the sidewalk. If you can not, ask your teacher for such a rule. If it is necessary to stand in line in order to purchase a ticket, or receive mail or for any other purpose, never try to push ahead of others, but quietly take the place in line that is rightfully yours. If it is necessary to carry an umbrella, be careful not to strike the eyes, faces, or hats of passers-by. When walking, throw back the shoulders, throw out the chest, and lift the feet. Scraping the feet along the ground is boorish. Walk straight ahead ; do not zigzag from one side of the road to the other. If you are walking side by side with a companion, keep step with him unless you find it awkward to do so. Do not play running games on the sidewalk ; if you do, you hinder the passage of those who are using it. Behavior in public places. Avoid loud and boisterous conduct and conversation in public places. Only a very rude person speaks in a tone of voice louder than necesssary. "The loud laugh bespeaks the 32 TRAINING IN COURTESY. vacant mind." However, cheering and applauding at entertainments, and rooting at athletic gatherings are very proper ways of showing your enthusiasm and appreciation. In applauding, clap your hands, but not too loudly. Never whistle, nor stamp your feet. Eating in public, except in places especially set aside for serving meals, is not behaving in the best way possible. Do not eat peanuts, candy, fruits, etc., nor chew gum, on the street, at the theater or other entertainment, in church, on the cars, in school, or in other public places. Street conduct for girls. Walk in an easy, modest manner. Giggling and loud talking are inexcusable at all times. FIG. 13. How not to walk on the sidewalk. Do not call to friends across the street. Never stop to chat on the street. In bowing in the street, merely incline the head, not the body, and smile pleasantly. In passing people on the walk, turn to the right. Do not join forces with three or four others and take up the entire pathway. Do not stand in groups in front of shop windows, thus hiding the windows from the view of others wishing to see. Do not giggle nor comment on others near you on the cars, in the theaters, lecture rooms, or church. Do not fail to see and to greet all older friends and acquaintances courteously and pleasantly. WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 33 Strong young people should offer their seats in street cars to those who are old and weak, to cripples, and especially to mothers carrying babies. When you receive courtesies from boys or gentlemen thank them pleasantly and heartily; for example, if a boy or a gentleman, even though he be a stranger, holds a door open for you to pass through, say, " Thank you" quietly, but loud enough for him to hear it. Dress and act in such a way that you do not call attention to yourself. Girls sometimes complain of being rudely stared at on the FIG. 14. Conversing with lady out of doors, therefore hat in hand. street; it is often because they are dressed conspicuously or are themselves acting rudely. Street conduct for boys. Walk on the street in a manly, self- respecting way, with hat properly adjusted. Upon meeting a lady or girl friend or acquaintance, raise the hat. The really polite boy always raises his hat on meeting his elders, whether ladies or gentlemen, and is especially careful to do so if the lady or gentleman is quite old. If a boy meets a lady or girl friend on the street and wishes to talk with her, he should not stop and talk with her on the sidewalk, but should walk with her in the direction in which she is going, always 34 TRAINING IN COURTESY. walking on the outside, and carrying her packages if she has any. In parting with her he should lift his hat. When standing speaking with a lady out of doors, a boy or gentle- man should hold his hat in his hand. In passing through a door, hold it open for the lady or the girl, even if she is a stranger. In going upstairs, unless he can walk beside her, a boy should follow a lady or girl; in coming downstairs he should precede her. Whenever a question is asked by a stranger answer freely and civilly. Do not stare rudely at ladies or girls or make slighting remarks about them. Always give assistance to elderly people when crossing the street, getting on cars, etc., and to mothers with little children, and to cripples. A boy accompanying his mother or sister or any other lady should raise his hat when the lady or girl bows or returns the bow of another, whether he knows the person or not. Do not whistle in public hallways, elevators, or waiting rooms when ladies are present or when you seem to be giving annoyance to anyone. Sneezing, coughing, and yawning. It is not polite to sneeze or cough in public if it can be prevented. Usually a sneeze can be stopped by pressing heavily with the finger just above the upper lip. If you must cough or sneeze, lift your handkerchief to your mouth or nose. Sometimes it happens that our food does not agree with us and that gases form in the stomach which force their way out through the mouth, causing us to hiccough or to belch. When this happens we should always cover the mouth quickly with the hand or with the handkerchief and say " Excuse me," or "Pardon me." By holding the breath awhile a hiccough can often be stopped. Clearing the throat or the nose should be done, if possible, pri- vately. If it be necessary to do either in public, we should be quiet about it. No one who has been properly trained blows the nose noisily. It must be done sometimes, of course, but good taste and custom among refined people require that it be done so as not to attract attention. Do not toy with the handkerchief after blowing the nose; put it immediately into the pocket. Yawning .and stretching in company makes one appear very stupid. Do not allow yourself to yawn. If you are tired and sleepy and can do so, go to bed; or else, if possible, go out into the fresh air and walk off your sleepy spell, or bathe your face in cold water. If you are a member of an audience, never yawn openly. One who does this seems to be insulting the speaker who is trying to interest him. When a member of an audience yawns this seems to the WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD CONDUCT. 35 speaker to mean, "I am not interested in what you are saying; you are tiresome." Surely this would not be polite. You would not say this, then do not act it by yawning. If it is unavoidable to suppress a yawn, place the hand or the handkerchief over the mouth while yawning. After drinking from a glass or a cup something that pleases you, it is not proper to blow out the breath in a sigh of satisfaction, as much as to say, "This is very good." It is not "bad" to do this, but it is not done by those who have good manners. If you wish to express your pleasure you can say, "This is delicious" or "This is very refreshing." If your food is too hot, never blow upon it to cool it. Wait until it gets cool enough to eat. If you find others doing any of these things, that is no reason why you should do so. Perhaps they are very thoughtless persons, or per- haps they have not had a chance to learn good manners. You do not wish to be considered thoughtless, and you are having a fine oppor- tunity to learn how to conduct yourself wherever you may be. We can not all have fine clothes, but we can all have fine manners. Which are the better ? Quarreling. Quarreling shows very bad manners. Quarreling is never necessary. We can not always agree with our friends or com- panions. Of course not, but because we have different opinions we do not need to quarrel about them. Quarreling shows neither good manners nor good conduct; it may show ignorance of the right way to behave. No one who knows better ought to be guilty of quarreling. Sometimes very, very small children, almost babies^ quarrel and we forgive them and say, "They are so little, they do not know any better," and then we separate them and explain to them that they must not quarrel or they will never, never get on well in this world. Quarrelsome people never do, if you notice; they are always in trouble, never happy, and always making others unhappy. Those who make others unhappy, when it is not necessary to do so, have bad manners. This seems so easy to understand that it is no wonder kind-hearted people, who wish to do right and be fair, long ago made a rule for themselves, and that rule was: Never quarrel; it is wrong and unkind, and shows very bad manners. Surely that settles the matter. We wish to do right, to be kind, and to have good manners; so no quarreling. CTieerf ulness. To be cheerful when it is not easy to be cheerful shows very good manners. Any one can be cheerful when pleasant things are happening, but it takes courage to be cheerful when things go wrong or when there are hard duties to perform. Cheerful boys and girls are sure to have many friends; they do much good in the world. It is easy to be a coward; it is not always easy 36 . TRAINING IN COURTESY. to be brave. We know this. Cheerfulness is a kind of bravery. Even if the task is hard, even if you are tired, be full of courage. Do not let a cloudy look come into your face. Do not let the corners of your mouth turn down or your lips stick out. Look into the faces of some dear old people whom you know. You will find little wrinkles at the corners of the eyes; and their eyes, even if dim, seem to twinkle, while their lips seem always ready to break into smiles. This is because they have been cheerful, kind- hearted, good-mannered people for many years. They began when they were boys and girls, and the pleasant look grew right into their faces. They did not pout or whine, or look sullen and cross when there were hard things to do. They were not cowards, afraid of hard things; they were brave and cheerful. We can not very easily change our expression after the ugly, cross look gets set; it, too, grows right into our faces. It is well to begin when we are young to look cheerful, no matter how we feel. If we do this often enough and steadily enough, we shall feel cheerful too, and then we shall be able to make many people happy. This is worth while. It is a great thing to make people happy, one of the best in all the world. Whom can you make happy right now? Whom can you make happy when you go home to-night? Remember, a cheerful boy or girl is a brave boy or girl. It is easy to get cross and be ill-tempered. It takes courage to keep your temper and be cheerful. II. GOOD MANNERS DRAMATIZED. Teachers do not always find it easy to hold the attention of children when teaching rules and forms of good manners and right conduct. The wise teacher, therefore, frequently makes use of dramatization, because children, when "acting," are attentive, interested, and receptive. Moreover, the acting of the children enables the teacher to perceive whether the teaching is understood. Almost any facts of good manners and right conduct may be taught by means of dramatization. Teachers can select the facts best suited to the children of their schools and let the children act them. Much of the value of the method lies in the working out of "the story." The following dramatizations have been chosen from a number worked out by the children and student-teachers of the San Jose (Cal.) State Normal School, under the direction of Miss Bessie McCabe. They are full of suggestion. While the dialogues presented may be copied with profit, they would serve their purpose better if used as types. Teachers and children in various schools can easily devise others for themselves. CLEANLINESS. (Any number of children playing school.) Beth. Let's play school. Children. Oh, yes; let's. Marian. I choose to be teacher. Children. You'd make a fine teacher. Marian. March to your seats, pupils. What lesson would you like to have first ? Mary. Oh! Miss Marian, please may we play our neatness game '{ Children. Please, Miss Marian. Marian. Very well. What good thing did you do to-day, James ? James. I got up the first time my mother called me. Then I washed my face and neck and ears so clean that even mother could not find a speck of dirt. Marian. That will do, James. You were a good boy. What did you do, Mary ? Mary After washing carefully, I brushed my teeth up and down, just as our dentist said we should. Marian I am glad you remembered that, Mary. John may tell us what he did. John I combed my hair neatly and then scrubbed my nails with the nailbrush. Marian That pleases me very much, John. Elsie may be next. 37 38 TRAINING IN COURTESY. ^ Elsie I brushed my hair and took such care to get nice and clean that mother was pleased and said that I might wear my white dress. Marian You have been very good, neat children. Now we shall have recess. FAIR PLAY. ACT I. (Scene: School grounds. Three boys playing ball.) James Oh ! Can't you pitch harder ? Robert Of course I can. Look out ! Fred If you want me to hit the ball, you'll have to throw harder than that. Robert Here goes ! FIG. 15. Dramatization of telling on themselves. James Now you've done it ! The window's smashed ! No one is about. Let's run away. Fred Oh, that's cowardly. We'd better tell Mr. Barry. Bob threw that ball, so he'll have to pay for the glass. Robert Of course we ought to tell. There goes Miss Williams. Let's ask her if Mr. Barry is hi his office. (Running toward Miss Williams.) James Who-o-o ! M-i-s-s W-i-1-l-i-a-m-s ! Excuse me for scream- ing at you like that, Miss Williams. We want to ask you if Mr. Barry is in his office. Miss W. Yes, boys. Do you wish to see him? B y S Yes, thank you. Good night, Miss Williams. (All take off hats.) Miss , W. Good night, boys. GOOD MANNERS DRAMATIZED. 39 ACT II. (Scene: Principal's office.) Knock at door. Principal Come in ! Fred How do you do, Mr. Barry ? Mr. B. How do you do, boys ? What can I do for you ? Fred We have something to tell you. We were playing ball and Bob threw a hard one and broke a window. Robert Of course I'll pay for it. Mr. B. Do you think Robert ought to pay for it, boys ? James Surely ! He threw the ball. Mr. B. But if you had caught it, the window would not have been broken. F re d Yes, sir. That's right. Jim will have to pay half. Mr. B. But if you, Fred, had lilt the ball, would the window have been broken ? James I think we're all to blame, so we'll all have to pay. Mr. B. I think you're right. It seems to me the only fair way to settle the trouble. James And, Mr. Barry, I want to say that Bob's the best of us all. He knew he'd have to work hard to pay for the window, but he wanted to tell all the time. Mr. B. I am glad to know that, James, and I am pleased that you told on yourselves before I found it out. Boys Thank you, Mr. Barry. Mr. B. Good night, boys. Boys Good night, Mr. Barry. BEHAVIOR ON STREET CARS. (Scene: Street corner.) (Three boys and three girls waiting for car. As it comes along, Emily starts to cross to it without looking up or down the street.) Bessie Look out, Emily, that auto will run over you ! Emily (stopping just in time) Oh, my! That was a narrow escape. I never think to look before I cross the street. (Car stops. Seats arranged to suggest car.) (Billy and Louis hurry toward steps.) Bitty Come on, boys, let's get seats in front. Elmer Plenty of room. Let's stand aside and let the girls get on first. (Boys stand aside while girls get on car. The boys follow. Nell drops a package. Billy picks it up returns it, at the same time raising his hat.) Nell Thank you, Billy. (Conductor collects fares; overlooks Louis.) 40 TRAINING IN COURTESY. Louis (to other boys) He didn't get my fare. Ill treat as soon as we get off. Elmer Do you really think that's the honest thing to do ? Louis Well, I don't know. I always thought if you offered your money" and the conductor didn't take it, that was his fault. But I guess you're right, Elmer. I've had the ride and I ought to pay for it. (Conductor comes by again.) Louis Conductor, you forgot to take my fare. (Holds up money.) Conductor There's an honest boy. Thank you. FIG. 16. -Children dramatizing behavior on street cars. Billy (to conductor) Please stop at Seventh Street. (Car stops. Boys rise.) Conductor Wait until the car stops, boys. Boys We will, conductor. (As they get off the car an old lady with a bundle is waiting to get on.) Billy Permit me, madam; let me hold your bundle while you get on. Old lady Thank you, my boy, you are very kind. (Louis helps lady up steps. Billy hands bundle up. Boys raise hats and go down street. Lady smiles and bows.) GOOD MANNERS DRAMATIZED. A PICNIC. 41 t Hoys ;ind girls walking. Boys carry boxes and baskets for girls.) Jack What a fine oak tree! That is just the place for a picnic. Mary So near the spring, too. Elsie See these lovely forns. Will These rocks are just what we want for the fireplace. Helen (clapping her hands) Just look up there on that hill at the cream cups and baby-blue-eyes. All Let's stay right here. Tom Come on, boys. We'll bring wood and make the fire while the girls spread the table. FIG. 17. Cleaning up after a picnic. t All the boys All right, Captain Tom. (All work at various tasks.) Elsie Lunch is ready ! Find your places. Please start the sand- wiches, Lucy, while I pour the lemonade. Will What delicious salad this is! Your mother is a good cook, Mary. Bob These sandwiches are fine, too. Helen Please pass the cake, Jack. Thank you. (All eat and pass the things, using as they do so various polite phrases.) Mary Goodness me, but haven't wo had a fine lunch! Now, let's play games. Will Good ! What shall we play ? 42 TRAINING IN COURTESY. Tom No games until we have picked up orange peels and tin cans, burned all these soiled papers, put out the fire, and left this spot a, beautiful as we found it. Helen Hurrah for Tom! We'll all help. (All pick up scraps, etc.) All Now are you satisfied, Captain Tom ? Tom Yes, indeed. This lovely place is all ready for another picnic party. All I hope they'll have as good a time as we had. BOOKS CONTAINING SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHING GOOD MANNERS AND RIGHT BEHAVIOR. An American book of golden deeds. American Book Co. Blue goops and red. 1 Frederick A. Stokes Co. (A manual of manners for children.) The children's book of moral lessons. London, Watts & Co. A course in citizenship. Houghton Mifflin Co. Ethics for children. Houghton Mifllin Co. The golden rule series. Macmillan Co. Golden windows. Little, Brown & Co. Goop tales. 1 Frederick A. Stokes Co. Goops. 1 Frederick A. Stokes Co. Heroes of every day life. Ginn & Co. More goops. 1 Frederick A. Stokes Co. Parent Teachers' Association. Courtesies for every day. Santa Ana, Cal., Parent Teachers' Association. (Care of Mrs. L. K. Strong, 419 W. 17th Street.) Philippine Islands, Manila. Bureau of Education. Good manners and right conduct. Manila, 1914. (Bulletin No. 47.) Two noble lives. Little, Brown & Co. 1 Humorous O BULLETIN OF THE BUREAU OF EDUCATION. [Continued from page 2 of cover.] To. 34. Institutions in the United States giving instruction in agriculture. A. C. Monahan and C. H. Dye. ,'-5. The township and community high-school movement in Illinois. II. A. Ilollister. ',(}. Demand for vocational education in the countries at war. Anna T. Smith. aLVrence on training for foreign service. Glen L. Swiggett. N<>. 38. Vocational teachers for secondary schools. C. D. Jarvis. No. 39. Teaching English to aliens. Winthrop Talbot. No. 40. Monthly record of current educational publications, September, 1817. No. 41. Library books for high schools. Martha Wilson. No. 42. Monthly record of current educational publications, October, 1917. No. 43. Educational directory, 1917-18. No. 44. Educational conditions in Arizona. No. 45. Summer sessions in city schools. W. S. Deffenbaugh. No. 46. The public school system of San Francisco, Cal. Xo. 47. The preparation and preservation of vegetables. Henrietta W. Calvin and Carrie A. Lyford. No. 48. Monthly record of current educational publications, November, 1917. 10. Music in secondary schools. A report of the 'Commission on Secondary Education. Will Earhart and Osbourne McConathy. No. 50. Physical education in secondary schools. A report of the Commission on Secondary Education. No. 51. Moral values in secondary education. A report of the Commission on Secondary Education. Henry Neumann. No. 52. Monthly record of current educational publications, December, 1917. No. 53. The conifers of the Rocky Mountains. J. E. Kirkwood. No. 54. Training in courtesy. Margaret S. McNaught. No. 55. Statistics of State universities and State colleges, 1917. 1918. Xo. 1. Monthly record of current educational publications, January, 1918. No. 2. The publications of the United States Government, W. I. S wanton. Xo. 3. Agricultural instruction in the high schools of six eastern States. C. H. Lane. 4. Monthly record of current educational publications, February, 1918. 5. Work of the Bureau of Education for the natives of Alaska, 1916-17. Wm. Hamilton. 6. The curriculum of the woman's college. Mabel L. Robinson.