THE 
 
 YOUNG GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S 
 
 MONITOR, 
 
 BEING 
 
 A COLLECTION 
 
 O F * 
 
 SELECT PIECES 
 
 FROM OUR BEST MODERN WRITERS ; 
 
 PARTICULARLY CALCULATED TO FORM THE 
 
 MIND AND MANNERS 
 
 OF THE 
 
 YOUTH OF BOTH SEXES, 
 
 AND ADAPTED TO THE 
 
 USE OF SCHOOLS AND ACADEMIES. 
 
 BY HAMILTON MOORE, ESQ. 
 
 t:SED IN THE BELFAST ACADEMY 
 
 BELFAST: 
 PRINTED BY W. MAGEB.

 
 PREFACE. 
 
 AS the defign of Learning is to render perfons 
 agreeable companions to themfelves, and ufeful 
 members of fociety ; to fupport folitude with plea- 
 fure, and to pafs through protnifcuous temptations 
 with prudence; it is prefumed, this compilation will 
 not be unacceptable ; being compofed of pieces fe- 
 ItSed from the moft celebrated moral writers in the 
 EnglifK language, equally calculated to promote 
 the- principles of religion, and to render youth vi- 
 gilant in difcharging the focial and relative duties 
 in the feveial ftations of life ; by inftilling into 
 their minds fuch maxims of virtue and good-breed- 
 ing, as tend to eradicate local prejudices and rufti- 
 city of manners ; and at the fame time habituate 
 them to an elegant n-anner of exprefling themfelves 
 either in Writing or Speaking. 
 
 And as the firft imprefllon made on the minds of 
 youth is the moft lading, great care fhquld be taken 
 to furnifli them with fuch feeds of reafon and phi- 
 lofophy as may rectify and fweeten every part of 
 their future lives ; by marking out a proper beha- 
 viour both with refpecl to themfelves and others, 
 and exhibiting every virtue to their view which 
 claims their attention, and every vice v.-hich they 
 A i ought
 
 iv PREFACE. 
 
 ought to nv^J. JnficaJ of this we generally fee 
 youth fuffered to reaJ romances, which impreis on 
 their minds fuch notions of fairies, goblins, &c. 
 that exift only in the imagination, and being ftrong- 
 ly imbibed, take much time to eradicate, and very 
 often baffle all the power of philofophy. If books 
 abounding with moral inflrutlions, conveyed in a 
 proper manner, were given in their (lead, the fre- 
 quent reading of them would implant in their minds 
 fuch ideas and fentiments, as would enable them to 
 guard againft thofe prejudices fo frequently met 
 with amongft the ignorant. 
 
 Nor is it poflfible, that any perfon can fpeak or 
 write with elegance or propriety, who has not been, 
 taught to read well, and in fuch. books where the 
 fentiments are juit and the language pure. 
 
 An infipid fktnefs and languor is almcft the uni- 
 verfal fault in reading ; often uttering their words 
 fo faint and feeble, that they appear neither to feel 
 nor underftand what they read, nor have any defire it 
 fhould be felt or underllood by others. In order to 
 acquire a forcible manner of pronouncing words, kt 
 the pupils inure themfelves, while reading, to draw in 
 as much air as their lungs can contain witheafe, ami 
 to expel it with vehemence in uttering thofe founds 
 which require an emphatical pronunciation, and to 
 read alcud with the exertion they can command ; let 
 all the confonant founds be exprefTed with a full in> 
 pulfe of the breath, and a forcible action of the or- 
 gans employed in forming them ; and all the vowel- 
 founds have a full and bold utterance. 
 
 Thefe reafons, and to infpire youth with noble fen- 
 timents, juft expreflion, to eafe the teacher, and lo 
 render a book cheap and convenient for fchools, as 
 
 well
 
 PREFACE. v 
 
 well as private perfons, who have neither time' nor 
 opportunity to perufe the works of thefe celebrated 
 authors, from whence this collection is made, was 
 the caufe of the following compilation. 
 
 And asfpeechcs in both houfes of parliament, plead- 
 ings at the bar, inftru&ions in the pulpit, and com- 
 mercial ccrrefpondence, are delivered and carried on 
 in the Englifh language ; the cloathirvg our thoughts 
 with proper expreflions, and conveying our ideas, ei- 
 ther in writing, or fpcaking, agreeably, cannot fail of 
 making an imprefllon upon the hearer orreader. For; 
 a man's knowledge is of little ufe to the world , when 
 he is not able to convey it properly to others ; which 
 is the cafe of many who are endowed with excellent- 
 parts, but are either afraid or alhamed of writing, 
 or fpeaking in public, being confcious of their own' 
 deficiency of expreffing themfelves in proper tertrs. 
 
 In order to remedy thefe defects, ar.d ro eale the 
 teachers, I would advifr, that feveral young gent 1 ?. - 
 men rend in a- clafs, each a fentence in this bock (it 
 being divided into fmall portions for that purpofe) ?s 
 often as convenient; and let him who reads bctt, be 
 advanced to the head, or have fome pecuniary reward ; 
 and every inferior one according to his merit ; this 
 will create emulation among them, and facilitate the : r 
 improvement much more than threats or coireftions, 
 which ftupify and intimidate them, and often end in 
 contempt of their teachers, and learning in general. 
 This will draw forth thofe latent abilities, which c- 
 therwife mighrlie dormant for ever. 
 
 It may not be improper for the teacher, or fome 
 gocd reader, to read a fentence or two 6; ft, that The 
 learners may gain the proper emphafis, and read with-
 
 i PREFACE. 
 
 out that monotony fo piinfulto a good ear j for they, 
 will improve more by imitating a good reader, than 
 by any rules that can be laid down to then?. When 
 they come to read gracefully, let them fland up in the 
 fchool and read aloud, in order to take off that bafli- 
 fulnefs generally attending thofe who are called" upon 
 cither to read or fpeak in public. 
 
 The next thing I would recommend, is the Englifli 
 grammar (the beft I know of is Buchanan's -Syntax) 
 the knowledge of which is abiblutely necefTaiy, as it 
 is the folid foundation upon which all other fcience 
 reds. After they have run over the rules of Syntax, 
 the teacher may dictate to them one or more fentences 
 in falfe Engiifli, which they may correct by their 
 grammar rules, and alfo find out the various fignifica- 
 tions of each word in the dictionary ; by which means 
 they will foon acquire a copious vocabulary, and be- 
 come acquainted not wjth words only, but with things 
 themfelves. Let them get thofe fentences by heart 
 to fpeak extempore; which will, in feme meafure, be 
 delivering their own compofitions, and may be re- 
 peated as often as convenient. This will foon give 
 the young gentleman an idea of the force, elegance, 
 and beauty of the Euglifh language. 
 
 The next thing I would gladly recommend, is that 
 of letter-writing, a branch of education, which feems 
 to me of the utmoft utility, and in which, uioft of 
 our youth are deficient at their leaving fchool ; be- 
 ing fuflfered to form their own ftyle by chance, or imi- 
 tate the firft wretched model that falls in their way, 
 before they know what is. faulty, or can rdiih the 
 beauties of a ju(t fimpliciiy.' 
 
 Fur
 
 PREFACE. vii 
 
 For their improvement in this particular, the teach- 
 er may caufe every young gentleman to have a flate or 
 paper before him, on Saturdays, and then diftate a 
 letter to them, either of his owncompofition, or taken 
 out of fome book, and turn it into falfe Englifh, to 
 exercife them in the grammar rules if he thinks pro- 
 per, which they iliould all write down, and then 
 correct and tranfcribe it fairly in their books. 
 
 After the young gentlemen have been accuftomed 
 to this fome time, a fuppofed correfpcndence may be 
 fixt between every two of them, and write to one a- 
 nother under the infpedlicn of the teacher, who may 
 correct and fhew their faults when he fees occafion ; 
 by fuch a method he will loon find them improve in 
 epiftolary writing. The fame may be obferved with 
 regard to young. ladies, who are very often deficient 
 not only in orthography, but every other part of 
 grammar. 
 
 If fomething fimilar.to this method be purfued, it 
 veil! foon reflect honour on the teacher, give the high- 
 eft fatisfaction to judicious parents, and entail upon the 
 fcholar a pleafingand lading ad vantage. 
 
 THE EDITOR. 
 
 CONTENTS,
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 r AG r, 
 
 THE purfuit of kno^^.led^e recommended to youth \ 
 
 Direflions bo*w to ff>fnJ our time 5 
 
 Mifpitit tiim boiu p:inijhed 10 
 
 Modefy' J7 
 
 Affectation - 24 
 
 The fame continued 2 3 
 
 Good humour and good nature 3 } 
 
 Frintiijbip 36 
 
 D-etrafHon and falfekood . . 44 
 
 The importance of punfiuality 56 
 
 Temf-erance and exercife, the bfJJ prefervatives of 
 
 Health . , 6 1 
 
 The duty of f.-crecy 70 
 
 Of cbearfulneft 76 
 
 On the advantages of a chearful temper 80 
 
 Difcretion 85 
 
 Pride 89 
 
 Drunkennefs . -- . . gz 
 
 Gaming , ^3 
 
 Wbifperers and giglers complained of ici 
 
 Beauty produced by f tut intent t 107 
 
 Honour 118 
 
 Human nature 1 2 1 
 
 T/je advantage of reprtfenting human nature in its 
 
 proper dignity . 126 
 
 Cujlom a fecond nature . \ 3 1 
 
 On Cleanlineft 137 
 
 The
 
 CONTENTS. . ix 
 
 The advantage* of a g-xjd Education 1 ^140 
 
 Learning a H&eJJ'ary aecomplifomsnt in a Woman of* 
 
 ^tiality or Fortune 142 
 
 On the abf'urtlity of Omens ... 1 46 
 
 AjioodConfciHce,&c. 150 
 
 On Contentment 154, 
 
 Human fcliftiriss chiefly iniiipinary ' ^9 
 
 d fife of Virtue preferable to a life of Pie a Jure 1 66 
 
 Virtue rewarded 1 70 
 
 The/lory of Amanda ib. 
 
 The Hijlory of Abdullah and B alfora \ 7 5 
 
 Rujbnffs and Cowardice .... - 183 
 
 Fortitude founded on the fear of God - - I 89 
 
 The Foliy of youthful Extravagance 1 92 
 
 Ike Miferie* / depending on the Gitat ic}3 
 
 What it is to fie the World - - 203 
 
 The Story of Meti/a ib. 
 
 On the OmntfcifKce and Omniprefence of the Deity, 
 
 together with the Immenfity of bis Works. 209 
 Motives of Piety and Virtue dtaivnfnm the Omni- 
 
 fcience and Omniprefence of the Deity 2 1 4 
 
 Rrfltfli'jn on the Third Heaven 2 1 9 
 
 The. prejent Life to In cinfidered only as it may tend 
 
 to the Hapf-inefs of a future one 224 
 
 On the Immortality of ths Saul 2z8 
 
 On the Animal World and the Scale of Beings . 232 
 
 Prwisence proved from Animal Ir.Jtinft 2 J7 
 
 Cos d Breeding and Complaifunce 2 4 1 
 Further Remarks taken from Lord CbePer fie Id's 
 
 Letters to his Son -* 246 
 
 Genteel Carriage . 250 
 
 Cleanliness of Perfon - 254 
 
 'Drefs ' 25? 
 
 Elegance of ExfrfJ/ioa 257 
 
 Small-
 
 x CONTENTS. 
 
 Smalltalk ... 260 
 
 Ob fervation and Attention 262 
 
 defence, of Mini .. 264. 
 
 KnoivleJge of the world 265 
 
 Flattery - 266 
 
 Study of tbe Foibles of Men 267 
 
 Judge "of other M.n by ywrfelf ib. 
 
 Certain H/)un of applying to them l68 
 
 Command of 'Temper and Countenance 260) 
 
 Seem friendly to Enemict 270 
 
 Never fee an Affront -- ib. 
 
 Wangling 271 
 
 Judge of no Man precipitately ib. 
 
 Vanity of tbe Wwll 2 7 
 
 Truft KOI too implicitly on any ib. 
 
 JBt -ware of proffered Friendjbif 2 ~ 3 
 
 Make no improper connexions 214. 
 
 Doubt kirn it/'& fuueat t ib. 
 
 Ee not afoamed to refuft ib. 
 
 Choice &J Company - 276 
 
 jSdopt no Mnni vices 277 
 
 Sundry little acconiplijbinetits . 280 
 
 Honour t of tbe table ib. 
 
 Behaviour at table > ib. 
 
 Drinking of healths ib; 
 
 Refuftng invitatiws 28 1 
 
 Card playing - - ibj 
 
 Writing well 282 
 
 Spelling -well & 
 
 Nicknamtt 283 
 
 Raking it>. 
 
 Choice atuufements 284 
 
 Stcrecy Hi. 
 
 Pulling
 
 CONTENTS. xi 
 
 Pulling out your watch _, ... -,-_ g 
 
 familiarity . - 
 
 VegkBitig old acquaintance 2 g^ 
 
 Con firing favours - .. 
 
 Vanity in many refpefls _____ 
 
 Make none feel his inferiority _ 3,33 
 
 Being 'witty at another's ex pence 2 gg 
 
 Whiff ering in company , 
 
 Humming a tune, &t. _> ^ 
 
 Stating any one in the face jjj 
 
 Eatingfajl , ib ' 
 
 Reading a letter in company - jj," 
 
 Dignity of Manners __ ' 
 
 Romping . i(j> 
 
 Mimicking - - -i" 
 
 PaJ/ive cemplaifance . " 
 
 Harjbnefs of temper -- , 
 
 , Dire cling fervants _ 
 
 Out-ward appearance . ' 
 
 Rules for converfathn - 
 
 Further remarks on defame, taken from LordCbeJIer- 
 
 Jte!a"s letters to his fan - 
 
 Talking _ 3 ib * 
 
 Telling Jlories ^ 
 
 HackneyeJ exprejfiont - _ fo 
 
 Digre/tont 3Q * 
 
 Ho ding people by the button jb a 
 
 Jogging people j b * 
 
 Long talkers _ ^ JL, 
 
 InceJJant ta'kirs - - a O g 
 
 Helping outfloiujpeakers fa 
 
 Contradicting . . .>. ____ j[, 
 
 Giving
 
 xii CONTENTS. 
 
 Giving ad-vice - 307 
 
 Surlinefs - 308 
 
 Matt your converfation to the company ib. 
 
 Certain rude exprejfions _____ ib. 
 
 Tax not with breach of promife 309 
 
 Be not Hark or myfleiious - ib. 
 
 No long apologies - ib. 
 
 Lotk people in the face ilhen f peak ing is them ib. 
 
 Raife not the voice ivben repealing - 3 1 3 
 
 Swearing - ' 310 
 
 Talk not of jour own or others* private matter* ib. 
 
 Jokes, ban- mils - ii 
 
 Be not clamwaus ib. 
 
 Difpute with good humour - ib. 
 Learn the charatter of lie company befort you fay much 3 ! 2 
 
 Interrupt m perfon in a 'ftory - 3 ! 3 
 
 Refleft on no body vf 'people - - ' - . 
 
 Iriterruptnofpeahr - - 3H 
 
 Conceal yiitr learning J b. 
 
 The vifton of Mirza, exhibiting fi figure tf baton* life 31 $ 
 Riches not proTtuclive of bappinefi'-, ft* ftory of Otio- 
 
 gruldfBafra - - 3^ 

 
 YOUNG GENTLEMAN, 
 
 LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 AND 
 
 ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 
 
 PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE RECOMMEND- 
 ED TO YOUTH. 
 
 i. -I AM very much concerned when I fee young 
 gentlemen of fortune and quality lo wholly fet tipcrc 
 pleafure and diverfions, that they neglect all thofe im- 
 provements in wifdom and knowledge which may make 
 them eafy to themfelves, and ufeful to the world. 
 The greateft part of our Eritijh youth lofe their figure, 
 and grow out of fafhion, by that time they are fivt 
 and twenty. 
 
 2. As foon as the natural gaiety and amiablensfs of 
 the young man wears off, they have nothing left to 
 recommend them, but lie by the reft of their lives, 
 among the lumber and refufe of the fpecies. 
 
 It fometimes happens indeed, that for want of apply- 
 ing themfelves in due time to the purfuitsof knowledge, 
 they take up a book in their declining years, and grow 
 very hopeful fcholars by the time they are threefcore. 
 I
 
 2 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 I mud therefore earneftiy prefs my readers, who are 
 in the flower of their youth, to labour at thofe accom- 
 plimnients which may let off their peifons when their 
 bloom is gone, and to lay in timely provifions for man- 
 hood and old age. In fliort, I would advifetfre youth 
 of fifteen to be drtffing up every Cay the man of fifty ; 
 or to confider how to make himfelf venerable at three- 
 fcore. 
 
 3. Young men, who are naturally ambitious would 
 do well to obferve how the greateft men of antiquity 
 made it their ambition to excel all their cotemporaries 
 in knowledge. Julius Ctefar and Alexander, the moPi 
 celebrated inftances of human greatnefs, took a particu- 
 lar care to diftinguifh themfelvcs by their fkill in the arts 
 and fciences. We have (till extant, feveral remains of 
 the former, which juftify the character given of him by 
 the learned men of his own ,age. 
 
 4. As for the latter, it is a known faying of his, 
 that he was more obliged to Arijlode, who had fnftrucl- 
 ed 'him, han to Philip^ who had given him life and em- 
 pire There is a letter of his recorded by Plutarch 
 and 4ulus Gellius, which he wrote to /Iriflotle, upon 
 hearing that he had publifhed thofe lectures he had 
 given him in private.' This letter was written in the 
 following words, at a time when he was in the height 
 oi"h:s Perfian conquefts : 
 
 5. ALEXANDER TO ARISTOTLE GREETING. 
 
 " YOU have not done well to publiih, your books 
 " of ie left knowledge ; for what is there now in which 
 
 '" I can furpafs others, if thofe things which 1 have 
 44 been inftru&ed in are communicated to every body ? 
 " For my own part I declare to you, I would rather 
 " excel others in knowledge than power. Farewell." 
 
 6. We
 
 AN DEMOLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 3 
 
 6. We fee by this letter, that the love of conqucfi: 
 was but the fecond ambition in Alexander's foul. 
 Knowledge is indeed that, which, next to virtue, truly 
 and ellentially raifesone man above another. It finifli- 
 es one half of the human foul. It makes being plcafant 
 to us, fills the mind with entertaining views, and ad'.ni- 
 nifters to it a perpetual feries of gratifications. 
 
 It gives eafe to folitude, and graccfulnefs to retire- 
 ment. It fills a public Ration with fuitable abilities, ar.u 
 adds a luftre to thofe w?ro are in the pofleflion of th.-in. 
 
 7. Learning, by which \ mean all ulcful knowledge, 
 whether fpeculative or practical, is in popular and mixed 
 governments the natural fource of wealth and honout. 
 If we look into nioft of the reigns from the Conqueft, 
 we fhall find, that the favourites of each reign have 
 been thofe who have raifed themfelves. The greatest 
 men are generally the growth of that particular age in 
 which they flourifli. 
 
 8. A fuperior capacity for bufinefs, and a more ex- 
 tenfive knowledge, are the fteps by which a new man 
 often mounts to favour, and outfliines the red of his co- 
 temporaries. But when men are actually born to titles* 
 it is almoft impoffible that they fhou'd fail of receiving 
 an additional greatne&j if they take care to accomplifli 
 themfelves for it. 
 
 9. The (lory of Solomons choice, does not only in- 
 ftrudt us in that point of hiliory, but furnillies out a 
 very fine moral to us, namely, that he who applies his 
 heart to WISDOM, does at the faiue time take the 
 moft proper methcKi for gaining long life, riches and 
 reputation, which are very often not only the- rewards, 
 but the effects of WISDOM. 
 
 10. As it is very fuitable to my prefent fubjedl, I 
 
 of all quote this pafage in the worJs cf.i'tCTed 
 ^2- writ,
 
 4 THE GENTLEMAN A N T D LA.DTS MONITOR, 
 
 writ, and afterwards mention an allegory, in which this 
 whole pafTage is reprefented by a famous French Poet ; 
 not quettioning but it will be very pleafing to fuch of my 
 readers as have a tafte of fine writing. 
 
 11. In Gibeon, the Lord appeared to Solomon, in a 
 dream by night: and God faid, " Afit what I fhall give 
 thee." And Solomon faid, " Thou haft fliewed unto thy 
 4i fervant David, my father, great mercy, according 
 " as he walked before thee in truth, and in righteoul- 
 " nels, and in uprightnefs of heart with thee, and thou 
 *' haft kept for him this great Jundnefs, that thou haft 
 " given him a fon to fit on his throne, as it is this day. 
 *' And now O Lord my God, thou haft made thy fer- 
 " vant king inftead of Davit!, my father ; and I am 
 " but a little child j 1 know not how to go out or come 
 " in. 
 
 12. " Give therefore thy fervant an underftanding 
 *' heart to judge thy people, that I may difcern be- 
 *' tween good and bad ; for who is able to judge this 
 " thy fo great a people ?" And the fpeech pleafed the 
 Lord, that Solomon had afked this thing. And God 
 laid unto him, " Becaufe thou haft afked this thing, and 
 " haft not alked for th>fdf long life, neither haft alked 
 " riches for thyfelf, nor haft aflced the life of tbine ene- 
 " mies, but haft aflced for thyfelf underftanding to dif- 
 *' cern judgment ; behold 1 have done according to thy 
 " words, fo I have given thee a wife and underftanding 
 " heart, fo that there was none like thee before thec, 
 " neither after thee fliall any arife like unto thee. 
 
 13. " And 1 have alfo given thee that which thou 
 " haft not aflced^ both riches and honour, fo that there 
 " Hull not be any among the kings like unto thee all 
 " thy days. And if thou wilt walk in my ways, to 
 " keep my ftatutes and my c-smmandruents, as thy 
 
 " father
 
 AND ENCHStt Tr.VCH ER'S ASSISTANT. .5 
 
 " father David did walk, then I will lengthen thy 
 " days." And Solomon awoke, and behold it was a 
 dream. 
 
 14. The French Poet has fhadowed'his ftory in annlJe- 
 gory, of which he feems to have taken the hint from-the 
 three goddeiles appearing to Pan's, or rather -from tlie 
 vifion of -Hercules, recorded by Xenophon, whore Plea- 
 lure and Virtue are repiefented as real perfons making 
 their court to the hero with all their kveral charms at^J 
 allurements. 
 
 15. Health, wealth, viclory-and- honour are introdu- 
 ced lucceflively in their proper emblems and characlxis, 
 each of them fpreatiing her temptations, and recom- 
 mending herfelf to the young monarch's choice. YVif- 
 dom enters laft, and fo captivates him with lier appear- 
 ance, that he gives himfelf up to her. Upon which 
 ihe informs him, that thofe who appeared before her 
 \vere nothing but her equipage, and- that fince he had 
 placed his heart upon wiklom ; health, wealth, vic'ory 
 and honour iliould always wait OH her as her handmakis. 
 
 DIRECTIONS HOW. TO SPEND OUR 
 TIMft 
 
 E all of us.cmp1ain of the Hiortnels oftitne, 
 faith Seneca, and. yet have much more than \ve know 
 what to do with. Our lives, fays he, are fpent either 
 in doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to the 
 purpofe, or in doing nothing that we ought to do : we 
 are always complaining our tiajs are few, and acting as 
 though there would be no end to lru-m. That. noble 
 philoiopher has .defcjibcd. our incon-fulenc}' v-ith out- 
 
 E 3 fciVv'i
 
 .*< THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ffclves in this particular, by all thofe various turns of ex- 
 preflion and thought which are peculiar to his writings. 
 
 2. I often confider mankind as wholly inconfiftent 
 with itielf in a point that bears fome affinity to the 
 former. Though we feein grieved at the fliortnels of 
 life in general, we are \vifliing every period of it at an 
 end. The minor longs to be at age, then to be a man 
 of bufinefs, then to make up an eftate, then to arrive 
 ac honours, then to retire. Thus, although the whole 
 of life is allowed by eveiy one to be fhort, the feveral 
 divifions of it appear long and tedious. 
 
 3. We are for lengthening our fpan in generaF, but 
 would fain contract the parts of which it is compofed. 
 The ufurer would be very well fatisfied to have all the 
 time annihilated that lies between the prefent moment 
 and next quarter-day. The politician would be con- 
 tented to lofe three years in his life, could he place 
 things in the poflure which he fancies they will fland in 
 after inch a revolution of time. 
 
 4. The lover would be glad to ftrilce out of his exift- 
 ence all the moments that are topafs away before the 
 happy meeting. Thus, as faft as our time runs, we 
 fhould be very glad, in niOft parts of our lives, that it 
 ran much faftcr than it does. Several hours of the day 
 hang upon .cur hands, nay we wifh away whole years ; 
 and travel through time as through a country filled with 
 many wild and empty waftes, which we would fain 
 hurry over, that we may arrive at thofe feveral tittle 
 fettlements or imaginary points of reft, which are dif- 
 perfed up and down in it. 
 
 5. If we may divide the life of moft men into twenty 
 parts, we fliall find, that at lerft nineteen of them are 
 mere gaps and chafins, which are neither filled 
 with pleafure nor bufinefs. I do not however include
 
 AVD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT, 7 
 
 in this calculation the life of thofe men who are in a 
 perpetual hurry of affairs, but of thofe only who are 
 not always engaged in fcenes of action ; and 1 hope I 
 fliall not do an unacceptable piece of fervice to thofe 
 perfons, if I point out to them certain methods for the 
 filling up their empty fpaces of life. The methods I 
 fhall picpofe to them are as follow : 
 
 6. The fiift is the exercife of virtue, in the mod gene- 
 ral acceptation of the word. That particular fcheme 
 which comprehends the fcci.il virtues, may give em- 
 ployment to the moft induftrious temper, and find a 
 man in bufmefs more than the mcft active ftation of 
 life. To advife the ignorant, relieve the needy, com- 
 fort the afflicted, are duties that fall in our way almoft 
 every day of our lives. 
 
 j. A man has frrttjuent opportunities of mitigating 
 the fiercenefs of a party ; of doing juftice to the cha- 
 racter of a deferving man; of foftening the envious, 
 quieting the angry, and rectifying the prejudiced ; 
 which are all of them employments fuited to a reafon- 
 able nature; and bring great fatisfaction to the perfon 
 who can buly himfelf in them with difcretion. 
 
 8. There % is another kind of virtue that may find em- 
 ployment for thofe retired hours in which we are altoge- 
 ther left to ourfelves and deftitute of company and con- 
 verfation ; 1 mean that intercourfe and communication 
 which every realonable creature ought to maintain with 
 the great Author of his being. 
 
 9. The mnn who lives under an habitual fenfe of the 
 divine prefence, keeps up a perpetual chearfulneis of 
 temper, and enjoys every moment the fatisfaction of 
 thinking himfelf in company with his deareft and bell 
 of friends. The time never lies heavy upon him ; it 
 is inipofiible for him to be alone. 
 
 10. His
 
 8 1 n E GENTLEMAN AH D LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 10. His thoughts and pafilons are the mod bufied at 
 fuch hours when thofe of other men are the mofh unac- 
 tive. He no fooner fteps out of the world but his heart 
 burns with devotion, fwells with hope, and triumphs 
 in the confcioutnefs of that prefence which every where 
 furrounds him; or, on the contrary, pouis out its fears, 
 its fortows, its apprehenfions, to the great fupporter of 
 its exillence. 
 
 ii. I have here only confiJered the iieccility of a man's 
 being vinuous,. that he may have, fomething to do ; 
 but if we confider further, that the cxercifc of virtue is 
 not ortfy an amuicment for the time it lafbj but that its 
 influence extends to thoic parts of our ex ftence which 
 lie beyond the grave, and that our whole eternity is to 
 take its colour from thofe hours which we here employ 
 in virtue or in vice, the argument redoubles upon us, 
 for putting in practice this method of pafiing a\\ayour 
 
 time. 
 
 12. When a man has but a little dock to improve, 
 and has opportunities of turning it all to good account, 
 what fliall we think of him if he fufFers nineteen parts of 
 it to lie dead, and perhaps employs even the twentieth to 
 his ruin or difadvantage ? But becaufe the mind can- 
 not be always in its fervour, nor drained up to a pitch 
 of virtue, it is neceflary to find out proper employments 
 for it in its relaxations. 
 
 13. The next method therefore that I would propofe 
 to fill up pur time, fliould be ufeful and innocent diver- 
 fion. I mult confefs I thirk it is below rtafonnble crea- 
 tures to be altogether converfant in inch div.ifions as 
 are merely innocent, and have nothing elfe to recom- 
 nienJ them but that there is no hurt in them. 
 
 14. Whether any kind of gaming has even thus much 
 to fay foritfeif, I (hall not determine; but I think it is 
 
 very
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. ^ 
 
 very wonderful to fee perfons of the beft fenfe pafling a- 
 way a dozen hours together in fhuffling and dividing a 
 pack of cards, with no other converfation but what is 
 made up of a few game phrafes, and no other ideas but 
 thofe of black or red fpots ranged together in different 
 figures. Would not a man bugh to hear any one of his 
 fpecies complaining that life is lliort? 
 
 15. The fiage might be made a perpetual fourceof 
 themoft noble and ufeful entertainments, were it under 
 proper regulations. 
 
 But the mind never unbends itfelf ib agreeably as in 
 the converfation of a well chcfen friend. There is in- 
 deed no blelUng of life that is any way comparable to 
 the enjoyment of a difcreet and virtuous friend. It cafes 
 and unloads the mind, clears and improves the under- 
 (landing, engenders thoughts and knowledge, animates 
 virtue and good refoluticn, fooths and allays the paffions, 
 and finds employment for moft of the vacant hours .of 
 life. 
 
 16. Next to fuch an intimacy with a particular perfon, 
 one would endeavour after a more general converfation 
 with luch as are able to entertain and improve thofe with 
 whom they converfe, which are qualifications that fel- 
 dom go afunder. 
 
 There are many tthtr ufeful amufements of life, 
 which one would endeavour to multiply, that one might 
 on all occafions have recourfe to fomething raiher than 
 luffer the mind to lie idle, or run adrift with any pafiion 
 that chances to rife in it. 
 
 , 17. A man that has a tafte in mufic, painting, or 
 architecture, is like one that has another fenfe when com- 
 pared with fuch as have no relifli of thofe arts. The 
 florift, the planter, the gardener, the huibandman, when 
 they are only as accomplifli:mnts to the man ef fortune,
 
 1O THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MOST-TOR, 
 
 are great reliefs to a country life, and many ways ufe- 
 ful to thofe who are poflefled of them. 
 
 SPtCTATOR, NO. QJ. 
 
 18. 1 WAS yefterday bufy in comparing together 
 the induftry of man with that of other creatures; in 
 which I could not but obferve, that notwithtlancling 
 we are obliged by duty to keep ourfelves in conltant 
 employ, after the fame manner as inferior animals are 
 prompted to it by inftindl, we fall very ftiort of them 
 in this particular. 
 
 19. We are here the more inexcufabld becaufe there 
 is a greater variety of bufmefs to which we may apply 
 ourfelves. Reafon opens to us a large field of affairs 
 which other creatures are not capable of. Beads of 
 prey, and I believe all other kinds, in their naiural 
 flate of being, divide their time betwve:, action and reft. 
 They are always at work or afleep. In fhort, their 
 awaking hours are wholly taken up in feeking after 
 their food, or in confuming it. 
 
 20. The human fpecies only, to the great reproach 
 of our natures, are filled with complaints, That, the 
 day hangs heavy on them, that they do not know what 
 to do with themfelves, that they are at a lots how to 
 pafs away their time, with many of the like lhanieful 
 jrmrmursi which we often find in the mouth of thofe 
 who are ftiled reafonable beings. 
 
 21. How monrtrous are fuch expreflions among crea- 
 tures, who have the labours of the mind, as well as 
 thofe of the body, to furnifh them with proper employ- 
 ments ! who, befides the bufinefa of their proper calling 
 
 and
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACH ER*S ASSISTANT. II 
 
 and proftflions, can apply themfejves to the duties of 
 religion, to meditation, to the reading of ufeful books, 
 to dilcourfc ; in a word, who may exercife themfeives 
 in the unbounded purfuits of knowledge and virtue, and 
 every hour of their lives make thcmfelves wifer or bet- 
 ter than they were before. 
 
 22. After having been taken up for fonie time in this 
 courfe of thought, I diverted myfelf with a took, ac- 
 cording to my ufual cuftom, in order to unbend my 
 mind before I went to-fie^ p. The book I made ufe of on 
 this occafion was Lucian, where I amufed my thoughts 
 for about an hour among the dialogues of the dead, 
 which in all probability produced the following dream. 
 
 23. I was conveyed, methought, into the entrance 
 of the infernal regions, where 1 faw Rbadamanthus, 
 one of the judges of the dead, feated in his tribunal. 
 On his left hand flood the keeper of Ettbus, on 
 his right the keeper of Ely/turn. 1 \vas told he fat 
 upon women {hat day, there ieing feveral of the fex 
 lately arrived, who had not yet their manfions 
 afligned them. 
 
 24. I was furprized to hear him aflc every one of 
 them the fame queftjon, namely, What they had been 
 doing ? Upon this queltion being propofed to the 
 whole afiembly, they llared one upon another, as not 
 knowing what to anfwer. He then interrogated each 
 of them feparately. Madam, fays he, to the firft of 
 them, you have been upon the earth about fifty years : 
 What have you been doing there all this while ? Doing, 
 fays flie, really I do not know what I have been doing: 
 I defire I may have time given me to recolleft. 
 
 2<;. After about half an hour's paufe, fhe told him, 
 that fhe had been playing at crimp ; upon which, Rba- 
 beckoned to the keeper on his left hand, to 
 
 take
 
 12 , THE GENTLEMAN AND tADY's MONITOR, 
 
 take her into cuftody. And you, Madam, fays the 
 judge, that lock with fuch a foft and languifliing airj 
 I think you fet out for this place in your nine and twen- 
 tieth year, what have you been doing all this while? 
 1 had a great deal of bufinefs on my hands, fays flic, 
 being taken up the firft twelve years of my life, in dref- 
 fmg a jointed baby, and all the remaining part of it in 
 reading plays and romances. 
 
 26. Very well, fays he, you have employed your 
 time to good purpofe. Away with her. The next was 
 a plain country woman ; Well, miftrefs, (ays Rbada- 
 tnantbus, and what have you been doing? An't pleafe 
 your worfhip, fays fhe, I did not live quite forty years ; 
 and in that time brought my hufband feven daughters, 
 made him nine thouland cheefes, and left my eldeftgirl 
 with him, to look after his houfe in my abfence, and 
 who, I may venture to fay, is as pietty a houfewifeas 
 any in the country. 
 
 27. Rhadamantbus fmiled at the fimplicity of the good 
 woman, and ordered the keeper of Elyfmm to take her 
 into his care. And you, fair lady, fays he, what have 
 you been doing thefe five and thirty years? 1 have 
 been doing no hurt, I afTure you, fir, faid fhe. That 
 is well, fays he, but what good have you been doing ? 
 The lady was in great confufion at this quettion, and 
 not knowing what to anfwer, the two keepers leaped 
 out to feize her at the fame time ; the one took her by 
 the hand to convey her to Elyfium, and the other caught 
 hold of her to carry her away to Erebus. 
 
 28. RuiRbaJamnnthus observing an ingenuous modef- 
 ty in her countenance and behaviour, bid them both let 
 her loofe, and fet her afide for re-examination when he 
 was more at leifure. An old woman, of a proud awl 
 four look, prcfentcd herfelf next at the bar, and being 
 
 afcecl
 
 A r, O ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. l 
 
 afked what flie had been doing? Truly, fays {he, I 
 lived threefcurc and ten years in a very wicked world., 
 and was fo angry at the behaviour of a parcel of young 
 flirts, that I pait mod of my lad years, in condemning 
 the follies of the times. 
 
 29. I was every day blaming the filly conduct of peo- 
 ple about me, in order to deter thole I converfed with 
 from falling into the like errors and mifcarriages. Very 
 well, fays Rhndamanthus, but did you keep the faij.e 
 watchful eye over your own actions ? Why, truly, fays 
 {Ke, I was fo taken up with publilliing the faults ol'u- 
 thers, that I had no time to confider my own. . 
 
 30. Madam, fays RbaJamanthus . be pleafed to file oil' 
 to the left, and make room for the venerable matron! 
 that (lands behind you. Old gentlewoman, fays he, 1 
 think you are fourfcore ? You have heard the quefuon,, 
 What have you been doing fo long in the world? Ah f 
 fir, fays (lie, 1 have been doing what I fhould not have 
 done; but I had made a firm refolution to have chang- 
 ed my life, if I had not been fnatchedorf by an untime- 
 ly end. ; 
 
 31. Madam, fays he, you will pleafe to follow your 
 leader ; and fpying anotner of the fame age, interro- 
 gated her in the fame form. To which the matron re- 
 plied, I have been the wife of a hufband who was as 
 dear to me in his old age as in his youth. I have been. 
 a mother, and very happy in my children, whom I en- 
 deavoured to bring up in every thing that is good. 
 
 32. My eldtft fon is blell by the poor, and beloved by 
 every one that knows him. I lived within my own fa- 
 mily, and left it much more wealthy than 1 ft- 
 Rbadamantbut, who knew the value of the old la^y;, 
 fmiled upon her in fuch a manner, that the kcc 
 !#/*, who krjew his office, reached out bis k <u to 
 
 c her.
 
 14 THE GENTLEMAN AND L A D Y'S' M ON I T R, 
 
 her. He no (boner touched her but her wrinkles va- 
 niflied, her eyes fparkled, her cheeks glowed with 
 blufhes, and fhe appeared in full bloom and beauty. 
 
 33. A young woman obferving that this officer, who 
 conduced the happy to E/yfium, was fo great a beauti- 
 
 J:ir. longed to be in his hands, fo that preffing through 
 'the croud, fhe was the next that appeared at the bar. 
 And being afked what fhe had been doing the five and 
 twenty years that fhe had paffed in the world. I have 
 Endeavoured, fays fhe, everfince I came to years ofdif- 
 cretion, to make inyfelf lovely and gain admirers. 
 
 34. In 'order to do it I patted my time in bottling up 
 May-dew, inventing white-wafhes, mixing colours, 
 cutting out patches, confulting my glafs, fuiting my 
 complexion, tearing off my tucker, finking my ftays. 
 Rhftdamanthus, without hearing her out, gave the fign 
 to take her off. Upon the approach of the keeper of 
 Erelus her colour faded, her face was puckered up with 
 wrinkles, and her whole perfon loft in deformity. 
 
 35. I was then furprized with a diflant found of a 
 whole troop of females that came forward laughing, 
 fmging, and dancing. I was very defirous to know the 
 reception they would meet with, and withal was very ap- 
 prchenfive, that Rhadamantbus would fpoil their mirth : 
 But at their nearer approach the noife grew fb very great 
 that it awakened me. 
 
 36. Employment of time, is a fubjeft that from its 
 importance, deferves your bcft attention. Moil young 
 gentlemen have a great deal of time before them, and 
 one hour well employed, in the early part of life, is more 
 valuable and will be of greater ufe to you, than perhaps 
 four and twenty, fome years to come. 
 
 37. Whatever time you can fteal from company and 
 from the ftudy of the world ; (\ fay company, for the 
 
 knowledge
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 1 <J 
 
 knowledge of life is beft learned in various companies) 
 employ it in ferious reading. Take up foine valuable 
 book, and continue the reading of that book till you have 
 got through it j never burden your mind with more than 
 one thing at a time, and in reading this book do 
 not run it over fuperficially, but read every pafilxge 
 twice over; at leaft, do not pals on to a Second till you 
 thoroughly underftand the firft, nor quit the book till 
 you are luafter of the Subject ; for u.n!efs yoxi do thi?, 
 you may read it through, and not remember the contents 
 of it for a week. 
 
 38. The books 1 would particularly recommend, are 
 Cardinal Retz's Maxims, Rochefoucault's Moral Reflec- 
 tions, Bruyere's Characters, Fontenelle's Plurality of 
 Worlds, Sir Jofiah Child on Trade, Boliugbroke's 
 Works; for ftyle, his Remarks on the Hifiory .of Eng- 
 land, under the name of Sir John OldcahMe; ' Puffert- 
 dorff 's Jus Gentiuir, and Grotius de Jure Belli et.Pacis: 
 the laft two are well translated by Barbeyrac. For oc- 
 cafional half hours or lefs, read the beft works of inven- 
 tion, wit and humour ; but never wafte your minutes 
 on trifling authors, either ancient or modern. 
 
 39. Any bufinefs you may have to tranfaft, mould 
 be done the firtt opportunity, and finished, if poflible, 
 without interruption : for by deferring it, we may pro- 
 bably finiSh ittQo late, or execute it indifferently. Ndw, 
 bufinefs of any kind fliould never be done by halves, but 
 every part of it mould be well attended to: for he that 
 does bufinefs ill, had better not do it at all.' And, in 
 any point which diicretion bids you purlue, and which 
 has a manifeft utility to recommend it, let not difficul- 
 ties deter you ; rather let them animate your induftry. 
 If one method fails, try a ilcond and a third. Be ac- ; 
 twe, perfevere, and you will certainly conquer. 
 
 c 2 40. Never
 
 |6 THE r,E*TLE!AK A N D L A D Y*S M \ T I T R, 
 
 40. Never indulge a laiy difpofition ; there are few 
 things but are attended v.ith fcrre difficulties, and if you 
 ?.re frightened at thofe difficulties, you will not com- 
 plete any thing. Indolent minds prefer ignorance to 
 trouble ; they look upon moft things as impoffible, be- 
 caufe perhaps they are difficult. Even an hour's atten- 
 tion is too laborious for them, and they 'would rather 
 content themfelves with the firft view of things than take 
 the trouble to look any further into them. Thus, when 
 they come to talk upon fubjefts to thofe who have ftudi- 
 ed them, they betray an unpardonable ignorance, and 
 Lay themfelves open to anlwers that confufe them. Be 
 careful then, that you do not get the appellation of in- 
 dolent,; and, if pcflible, avoid the character of frivo- 
 lous. For, 
 
 41 . The frivolous mind isbufied always upon nothing. 
 It miilakes trifling objects for important ones, and fpehd's 
 that lime upon little matters, that fliould only be beftow- 
 ed upon great ones. Knicknacks, butterflies, flielis, 
 and fuch like, engrufs the attention of the frivolous man, 
 and fill up all his lime. He fludies the drefs and not the 
 characters of men, and his fubje&s of converfation are 
 no other than tho weather, his own domeftic affairs, his 
 'fervants, his method of managing his family, the little 
 anecdotes of the neighbourhood, and the fiddle-faddle 
 
 of the day ; void of information, void of in> 
 
 ..er,t. Tlufe he relates with emphafis, as inter- 
 
 "eiling u:auers; in fliort, he is a male gofilp. I appeal 
 
 to yty- -..lings now, whether fuch things do 
 
 not lefTen a man, in the opinion of his acquaintance, 
 
 u.ul of attracting efleetn, create dff 
 
 MODESTY.
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT, 17 
 
 MODESTY. 
 
 MODESTY is the citadel of beauty and virtue. The 
 firft of all virtues is innocence ; the fecond is niodelly. 
 
 1. Modelly is both in its fburce, and in its cunte 
 quence, a very great happinef* to the fair pcfllifor of it: 
 It arifes from a fear of difnonour, and a good conic i- 
 ence, and is followed immediately, upon its full ap- 
 pearance, with the reward of honour and etleei>>, p-/.d 
 by ail thofe who dilcover it in any body living. 
 
 2. It is, indeed, a virtue in a woman (that might 
 otberwife be very difagreeable to one) fo exquiiitely de- 
 licate,* that it excites in any behoider, of a generous cn..i 
 manly difpofilion, almoft -all the puliior.s, thai he r x6di\-l 
 be apt to conceive for the miilrefs of his heart, in varie- 
 ty of cifcuuiftanccs. 
 
 3. A woman that i.s modeft, creates in us an awe in 
 her company, a wiili lor her welfare, a joy in her being; 
 actually hf.ppy, a fore and painful forrow if diilrefs 
 fliould come upon her, a ready and willing heurt to give 
 her corvft'iation, and a compaili-onate temper towards her, 
 in every little accident of life fhe undergoes j and, to 
 fum up all in one \vord> it caufes fuch a kind of ange- 
 lical love, even to a fcranger, as good-natured brothers 
 and fitters ufually bear towards one another. 
 
 4. It adds wonderfully to the make of a face : and 
 I have feen a pretty w^ll tinned forehead, fine let eyes; 
 and, what poets call, a row of pearl let in coral, lliewn 
 by a pretty expanfionot two velvet lips that covered them, 
 (that would have tempted any fober man living of my 
 own age, to have been a little loofe in his thoughts, and 
 
 c 3 w
 
 iS 'Tire GENTLEMAN AND I. ACV'fc 
 
 10 have enjoyed a. painfuFplcafure amidfl his ill-potency ) 
 lofe all their virtue, all their force and efficacy, by ha- 
 ving an ugly cafl ot bold;:tfs very ciifcernibly fpread cut 
 at large over all thole alluring features. 
 
 5> At the lame time modefly will fill up the wrinkles 
 of oid age with glory ; rrake fixty blufli itfelf into ftx- 
 icen ; and help a green fick girl to defeat the fatire of a 
 ^aggiili lover, who iri^ht compare her' colour, 
 when ilie losktd like a ghoft, to the blowing of the rofe- 
 bud, Ky biiiiiiing heife'f into a bloom of beauty ; and 
 might make what he meant a rtfiec~tion, a real compii- 
 ::;<.;.t, at any hour of the day, in fpite of his teeth. It 
 lias a prevailing power with me, whenever I find it in 
 the lex. 
 
 , 6. I, who have the common fault of old men, to be 
 very lour and humouribme ; when I drink my water- 
 gruel in a morning, fell into a mere than ou'inasy ptt 
 with a maid, whom 1 call my nurfe, from a conftant 
 tendernei-s, that I have obierved her to exercile towards 
 me beyond all my other fervants ; I percelvul h.-r fliifli 
 and glow in the face, in a manner, which 1 could plain- 
 ly difcern, proceeded not from anger or refentmerit of 
 my concision, but from a good-natured regret, upon a 
 fear that flie had offended her grave old malk-r. , 
 
 -. I was fo heartily pleafed, that I eafed her of the 
 horielt trouble fhe underwent inwardly for my fake ; 
 and, giving her half a crown, I told her it was a forfeit 
 due to her, becaufe I was out of humour with her, 
 without any reafon at all. And as fhe is fo gentle- 
 hearted, I have diligently: avoided giving her one harfh 
 word ever fince ; and I find my own reward in it : For 
 not being fo tcfiy as 1 ufed, hai made me much haler 
 and flronger than 1 was before. 
 
 8. The
 
 AND ENCT.TSTl T K A C IT E K/S ASSIST A NT . I?) 
 
 8. The pretty, and vyitty, ^ncl virtuous Siitiftida 
 was, the other day; vifiting with an old aunt of her's, 
 that I verily believe !}as rend the Atlantis: She took ft 
 ; ftory out there, and drefled up an old honeft neighbour 
 jn the fecond-hand cloaths of fcandal. The young crea- 
 ture hid her face, v.ith her fan, at every buift and peal 
 of laughter, and blufhed For her -guilty parent; by which 
 fhe atoned, inethoiv^.f, ' _fyr every fcandu!, that ran 
 round the beautiful clrCK'.' 
 
 g. As 1 wa-s going home to bed that evening, I could 
 not help thinking of her all the Vvay I went. I rc- 
 prefented her to myfeif, as fhecidirg holy blood every 
 time fiie blufhed, and -as being a martvr in the caufccr' 
 virtue. And afterwards, when I was putting on my 
 night-cap, 1 could not drive the thought out of my head, 
 but that I was young enough to have a child by her; 
 and that it would be ar. addition to ti\e reputation 1 havfc 
 in the ftudy of wifdom, tc marry to ib much youth and 
 niodcfty, even in my old age. 
 
 10. I know there have not been wanting many wick- 
 'cd objections againft this virtu.? ; pne'is grown rnf-jfttra- 
 tly conmion. The fellow bluflies, he is guilty. 1 ihould 
 Iliy rather, He bluflies, Therefore !ve is niiiocent. I be- 
 lieve, the ian;e man, that lirft had' that wicked imagi- 
 nation of a blufb. being the fign <ff guilt, 'repreiented 
 good-nature to be folly ; and^ tha-t he hmifeif, was the 
 "uioft inhuman and imprudent wretch dive. 
 
 1 1 . The author of Cato, who is known to be one of 
 the ir.cft modeft, and moll ingenious pti Ions of the age 
 we now live in, has given this virtue a delicate name, 
 in the Tragedy of Cats, where the character of Marcia. 
 is firll opened 'to us. I would have all ladies who.have 
 a mind to be thought well-bred, to think ferioufly on this 
 virtue, which he fo beautifully calls,- The fanftity of 
 manners. 
 
 12. Modefty
 
 2O THE GENTLEMAN AND LADVS MONITOR, 
 
 12. Modefty is a polite accompliflnnent, and gene- 
 rally an attendant upon merit. It is engaging to the 
 higheft degree, and wins the hearts of all our acquain- 
 tance. On the contrary, none are more difguftful in 
 company than the impudent and prefuming. 
 
 The man who is, on all notations, commending and 
 fpeaking well of himfclf, we naturally diflike. On the 
 other hand, he who {ludies to .fonceal his own deferts, 
 who does juftice to the merits, of, others, who talks but 
 little or himielf, and that with modcfty, makes a fa- 
 vourable imprefiion on the perfons he is converging with, 
 captivates their minds, and gains their efteern. 
 
 13. Modeily, however, widely differs from an auk- 
 ward baflifulnefs, which is as much to be condemned 
 as the other is to be applauded. To appear fiir.ple is as 
 ill bred as to be impudent. A young, man ought to be 
 able to come into a room and addreis the company, 
 without the lead emb irraffment. To be out of coun- 
 tenance when fpoken to, and not to have an anfwer 
 ready, is ridiculous to the lafl degree. 
 
 An jiukward country fellow, when he comes into 
 company better than himfelf, is exceedingly difccncert- 
 ed. He knows not what to do with his hands, or his 
 hat. but either puts one of them in his pocket, and 
 dangles the other by his fide ; or perhaps twirls his hat 
 on his fingers, or fumbles v.'iih the button. If fpoken 
 to, he is in a much worfe fuuation, he anfwers with the 
 uMioft difficulty, and nearly Hammers ; whereas a gt.i- 
 tlcman, who is acquainted with life, enters a room 
 with gracefulnefs and a modeft afTurance, addiefTts even 
 perfons he docs not know, in tin eafy and natural man- 
 ner, and without the lead mbarraiTment. 
 
 i$. This
 
 AND EXGLISH TEACHES.'* ASSISTANT. it 
 
 15. This is the characletitUc of good breeding, a 
 very necellary knowledge in our intercourfe with men: 
 for one of inferior parts, with the behaviour of a gentle- 
 man, is frequently better received than a man of fehfe, 
 with the addrefs and manners of a clown. Ignorance 
 and vice are the only things we need be afliamed of ; 
 fleer clear of thefe, and you may go into any con-pa^y 
 you will: not that I would have a young man thro*' drl" 
 all dread of appearing, abroad, as a fear of offending 4 , or 
 being difefteemed, will make him preferve a proper 
 decorum. 
 
 16. Some perfons, from experiencing of falfe modef- 
 ty, have run into the other extreme, and acquired the 
 cLaraelcr of impudent. This is as great a fuuU as the 
 ether. A well bred man keeps bimlelf within the two, 
 and fleers the middle way. He is eafy and firm in every 
 company, is mcdeft, but not ba/hful, fteady but not 
 iii-pudent. He copies the manners of the better people, 
 and conforms to their ci; Horns with eafe and attention. 
 
 17. Till we can prefcnt curfelves in all companies 
 with coolnefs and unconcern, we can never prefentour- 
 
 'fclves well ; nor will a man ever be fuppofed to have 
 kept good cen.pany, or tver be acceptable in fuch com- 
 pany, if he cannot appear there eafy and unembarraffed. 
 A mcdeft afTurance, in every part of life, is the n.oft 
 advantageous trustification we c,\n poffibly acquire. 
 
 18. Inltead of becoming infolerf, a man of ftnfe, 
 -under a corfcioulhcis of merit, is more moot ft. He 
 
 behaves himitlf indttd with ftrmntls, tut without the 
 leaft preemption. The : n.an who is ignorant of his 
 own meiit, is no lels a fool than he w ho is conftantly 
 difplaying it, A \r.:\n of u-ndtfrfianjiing "avails hinilelf 
 of his abilities, but r.evtr boafu cf them } whereas the 
 
 tiiuki
 
 22 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 timid and bafhful can never pufli himfelf in life, be his 
 .merit as great as it will ; he will be always kept behind 
 by the forward and the buttling. 
 
 19. A man of abilities, and acquainted with life, will 
 ftand as firm in defence of his own rights, and puifue his 
 plans as fteadily and unmoved as the moft impudent man 
 alive ; but then he does it with a feeming modefty. 
 Thus, manner is every thing ; what is impudence in 
 one, is proper allurance only in another : for firmnefs 
 is commendable, but an overbearing conduct is dilguft- 
 ful. 
 
 20. Forwardnefs, being the very reverse of modefiy, 
 follow rather than lead the company, that is, join in 
 difcourfe upon their fubjefts, rather than ftart one of 
 your own ; if you have parts, you will have opportuni- 
 ties enough of {hewing them on every topic of conver- 
 fation ; and if you huve none, it is better to expofe 
 youifelf upon a fubjed of other people's, than on one 
 of your own. 
 
 21. But be particularly careful not to fpeakof your- 
 felf, if you can help it. An impudent fellow lugs in 
 himfelf abruptly, upon all occafions, and is ever the 
 hero of his own (lory. Others will colour their arro- 
 gance with, " It may feeoi ftrange indeed, that I 
 *' fhould talk in this manner of myfelf ; it is what I by 
 " no means like, and fhould never do, if I had not 
 " been cruelly and unjullly accufed ; but when my 
 " character is attacked, it is a jullice I owe to inyfelf 1,0 
 " defend it." This veil is too thin not to be teen 
 
 - through on the full inipcftion. 
 
 22. Others again, with more art, will moikjllj boaft 
 of all the principal virtues, by calling jhefc virtues 
 weaknelVes, and laying they are fo unfortunate as to 
 fall into thofe weaknelfes. *' I cannot fee perlbns fuf- 
 
 " fer,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 2J 
 
 " fer, fays one of this caft, without relieving them ; 
 " though my circuinilances are very unable to afford 
 " it."" I cannot avoid fpeaking truth; though it is 
 " often very imprudent* And foon. 
 
 23. This angling for praile is fo prevailing a princi- 
 ple, that it frequently Hoops to the loweft objefts. Men 
 will often boait of doing that which, if true, would be 
 rather a difgrace to them than otherwife. One mart 
 affirms that he rode twenty miles within the hour: 'tis 
 probably a lie: but fuppofe he did, what then? He 
 had a good horfe under him, and is a good jockey. 
 Another fwears he has often, at a fitting, drank five or 
 fix bottles to his own fhnre. Out of reipecl to him, I 
 will believe him a liar ; for I would not wifli to think 
 him a heart. 
 
 24. Thefe and many more are the follies of idle peo- 
 ple, which, while they think they procure them efteem, 
 in reality make them defpifed. 
 
 To avoid this contempt, therefore, never fpeak of 
 yourfelfat all, unlefs necefilty obliges you; and even 
 then, take care to do it in fuch a manner, that it may not 
 be conftrued into fifliing for applaufe. Whatever per- 
 fections you may have, be allured, people will find 
 them out; but whether they do or not, nobody will 
 take them upon your own word. The lels you fay of 
 yourfelf, the more the world will give you credit for j 
 and the more you fay, the lefe they will believe you. 
 
 AFFECTATION.
 
 THE GENTLE MAX AND LAI 
 
 AFFECTATION. 
 
 ,A 
 
 LATE converfation which I fell into, gave me 
 an opportunity of observing a great deal of beauty in a 
 very hamifome woman, and as much wit in an ingenious 
 man, turned into deformity in the one, and abfurdity in 
 the other, by the mere force of affeclation. The fair 
 one had fomething in her peribn upon which her 
 jhoughts were fixed, that flie attempted to fhew t ad- 
 vantage in every look, word, and gefture. 
 
 2. The gentleman was as diligent to do juftice to his 
 fine parts, as the lady to her beauteous form : You 
 might fee his imagination on the ftretch to find out fome- 
 thing uncommon, and what they call bright, to enter- 
 tain her ; while flie writhed herfelf into as many differ- 
 ent poftures to engage him. V^'hen fhe laughed, her 
 lips were to fever at a greater diftance than ordinary 
 to fhew her teeth. 
 
 3. Her fan was to point to fomewhat at a diftance, that 
 in the reach flie ray difcover ihe roundnefs of her arm ; 
 then flie is utterly milhken in what flie faw, falls back, 
 fmiles at her own folly, and is fo wholly difcompofed, 
 that her tucker is to be adjufted, her bo'fom expofed, 
 and the whole woman put into new airs and graces. 
 
 4. While flie was doing all this, the gallant had time 
 to think of fomething very pleafant to fay next to her, or 
 make fome unkind obfervation on fome other lady to feed 
 her vanity. Thefe unhappy effe&s of affectation, natu- 
 rally led me to look into that itrange flate of mind, 
 which fo generally difcolcurs the behaviour of moil peo~ 
 pie we meet with. 
 
 5. The
 
 AMD EVSM5H T E A C H JE R/3 ASSISTANT.' 25 
 
 <j. The learned Dr. Burner, in his Theory of the Earth, 
 takes occafion to cblerve, That every thought is at- 
 tended with ccnfcioufnefs and reprefentativenefs } the 
 mind has nothirrg prefenteci to it, but what is iininedi- 
 ately followed by a reflection or confcience, which tells 
 you whether that which was ib prefenied is graceful or 
 unbecoming. 
 
 6. This act of the mind difcovers it felt" in the geflure, 
 by a proper behaviour in thole whole confcioufnefs goes 
 UD further than to direct then] in the juil progress or." 
 their prefent thought or action ; but betrays an interrup- 
 tion in every fecond thought, when the confcioufnels is 
 employed in too fondly approving a man's own concep- 
 tions ; which fort of confcioufnels is what we call affec- 
 tation, j 
 
 7. As the love of praife is implanted in our bofonis 
 as a ttrong incentive to worthy actions, it- is a very dif- 
 ficult talk to get above a defire of. it for things that 
 iliould be wholly indifferent. Women, whqfts hearts 
 are fixed upon the p*leafure they have in ihe.confciouf- 
 neis that they are the objeds of. loye. and admiration,' 
 are ever, changing the air of their countenances, and 
 altering the attitude of their bodies, -to ilrike the hearts 
 of their beholders with a new fenfb of- their in-a.u;y. 
 
 8. The drtfiing part of. uur lex, whole minds arc the 
 fume with the filiicr part of-the other, are exaftly in the 
 like uneafy condition tp be rega-rded for a well tied 
 cravat., an hat cocked with an unufual brilknefs, ,a ve- 
 ry well chofen coat, or other inft^nces of merit, whici? 
 they are imptitient 50 fee unoblerved. 
 
 t). Hut this apparent affectation, anhng frym an; ill 
 governed con-lciduln-els, is not fo inttcli'io b-a. won. 'tied 
 at in-fuch loote nn-i imial minjs as ti.cfe. ; liut w.h^; 
 you fee it rc-i^n in charaaers of worth and diuindion,. it. 
 .u
 
 Z6 THE CEXTLEMAM A V D LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 is what you cannot but lament, not without foine indig- 
 nation. It creeps into, the heart ot" the wile man, as well" 
 as that of the coxcomb. 
 
 10. When you fee a man of fenfe look about for ap- 
 plaule, and clifcover an itching inclination to be coin- 
 mended ; lay traps for a little incenfe, even from thole 
 whofe opinion he values in nothing but his o-wn favour; 
 who is fafeagainft this weaknefs ? or who knows whe- 
 ther he is guilty of it or not ? The bed way to get clear 
 of fuch a light fondnels for npplaufe, is to take all pof- 
 fible care to throw off the love of it upon occafions that 
 are not in themfelves laudable ; but, as it appears, we 
 hope for no praile from them. 
 
 11. Of this nature are all grnccs in men's perfons, 
 drefs, and bodily deportment ; which will naturally be 
 winning and attractive if we think not of them, but lofe 
 their force in proportion to our endeavour to make them 
 loch. 
 
 When our confcioufnefs turns upon the main defign 
 of life, and our thoughts are employed upon the chief 
 purpofe either in bulinefs or plealure, we fliould never 
 betray an affectation, for we cannot be guilty of it : 
 B<ut when we give the paftion for praife an unbridled 
 liberty, our pleafure in little perfections, robs us of what 
 is* due to us tor great virtues and worthy qualities. 
 
 12. How many excellent fpeeches and honeft actions 
 are loft, for want of being indifferent where we ought? 
 Men are opprefTed with regard to their way of fpeaking. 
 c.rM afting, inftead of having thtir thoughts bent upon 
 what they fliould door fay ; and by that means bury a 
 capacity for great things, by their fear of falling in indif- 
 ferent things. This, perhaps, cannot be called effefta- 
 tiorr;- bat it has foine tmfture of it, at leaftlb far, as; 
 that their fear of erring in a thing of no confequence,. 
 argues they would be too much p4eafcd in performing it. 
 
 13- It
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C H E R*S ASSISTANT. 27 
 
 13. It is only from a thorough difregard tohimfelfin 
 fuch particulars, that a man can act with a laudable fuf- 
 ficiency : his heart is fixed upon one point in view; and 
 he commits no errors, becaufe he thinks nothing an er- 
 ror but what deviates from that intention. 
 
 The wild havock affeQation makes in that part of the 
 world which fliould be moft polite, is vifible wherever 
 \ve turn our eyes : It puflies men not only into impertin- 
 ences in converfation, but alfe in their premeditated 
 fpeeches. 
 
 14. At the bar it torments the bench, whofe bufin.cfs 
 it is to cut oft" all fuperfluities in what is fpo ken before it 
 by the practitioner ; as well as feveral little pieces of in- 
 jaftice which arife from the law itfelf. I have fcen it 
 make a man run from the purpofe before a judge, who 
 was, when at the bar hhnfelf, fo clofe and logical a 
 pleader, that with all the pomp of eloquence in his 
 power, he never fpoke a word too much. 
 
 15. It might be borne even here, but it often afcends 
 the pulpit itfelf; aBd the declaimer, in that facred place, 
 is frequently fo impertinently witty, fpealcs of the laft 
 day itfelf with fo many quaint phrafes, that there is no 
 n>an who underftands raillery, but muft relolve to fin no 
 more: nay, you may behold him fcmetimes in prayer, 
 for a proper delivery of the great truths he is to utter, 
 humble himfelf with fb very well turned phrafc, and 
 mention his own unworthiuefs in a way fo very becom- 
 ing, that the air of the pretty gentleman is preierved, 
 under the lowlinefs of the preacher. 
 
 16. I fliall end this with a fhoit' letter I wrote ths 
 other day to a very witty man, over-run with the fault 
 i am fpeaking of.
 
 25 T H E G E \* T L t M A 1C A ?: D L A B Y*S M N-'l T R, 
 DEAR SIR, 
 
 * 1 SPENT fonie time with you Oic other day, and 
 ' niuft take the liberty of a friend to ttll you of the in- 
 ' fufferable affectation you are guilty of in !! you Lty 
 ' and do. 
 
 17. ' When I gave you a hint of it, you afked me 
 
 * whether a man is to be cold to what his friends think 
 ' of him ? No ; but praife is not to be the entertain- 
 
 * ment of every moment : He that hopes for it muit be 
 
 * able to fufpend the pofleifion of it, till proper periods of 
 
 * life, or death itfelf. If you would not rather be coin- 
 4 mended than be praife- worthy, contemn little merits; 
 
 * and allow no man to be fo free with you, as to praife 
 
 * you to your face. 
 
 18. * Your vanity by thefe means will want its food. 
 
 * At the fame time your paffion for efteem will be more 
 ' fully gratified ; men will praife you in their aflions ; 
 
 * where you now receive one compliment, you will then 
 ' receive twenty civilities. Till then you will never 
 4 have of cither, further than, 
 
 SIR, 
 
 Tour bumble Servant. 
 
 SPECTATOR, VOL. I, NO. ^3. 
 
 19 JN ATURE does nothing in vain; the Creator of 
 the Univerfe has appointed every thing to a certain ufe 
 and purpofe, and determined it to a fetiled courfe and 
 fphere of aflion, from which if it in the leaft deviates, it 
 becomes unfit to anfwer thole ends for which it was de- 
 figned,
 
 AND ENGLfSH TE ACH KR'S ASSISTANT. XQ 
 
 20. In like manner it is in the difpofitions of fociety, 
 the civil ccconomy is formed in a chain as well as the 
 natural ; and in either cafe the breach but of one link 
 puts the whole in fome difbrder. It is, I think, pretty 
 phiin, that nioft of the abfurdity and ridicule we meet 
 with in the world, is generally owing to the impertinent 
 affectation of excelling in characlers men are not fit for, 
 and for which nature never defined them. 
 
 21. Every man has one or more qualities which may 
 make him ufc-fuJ both to himfelf and others: Nature ne- 
 ver fails of pointing them tut, and while the infant con- 
 tinues under her g.uardianiliip, fhe brings him on in his 
 way, and then offers herfelf for a guide in what remains 
 of the journey-; if he proceeds in that courfe, he can 
 haidly mifcarry : Nature m-akes good her engngements ; 
 for as fhe never profiles whnt flie is. not able to perform, 
 io five never fails of performing what flie promifes. 
 
 1 22. But the misfortune is, ircn defpife what they may 
 be mailers of, and sffecl what liiey are not fit for ; they 
 reckon theinfeives already pefleiYcd of what their genius 
 inclines them to; and fo bend all their ambition to excel 
 in what is out of their reach ; thus thc-y deltroy tTie ufe 
 of their natural talents, in ihe fame manner as covetous 
 n.en do their quiet and repofc ; they can enjoy no fatis- 
 faction in what they have, becaufe of the abfurci incli- 
 nation they are pofltflt d with for what they have not. 
 
 23. Cleuntbes had good ftnfe, a great memory, and a 
 conftitution capable of the clofeft application: In a word, 
 there was no profefiion fn which CltiiHibes might not have 
 made a very good figure; but this will not fatisfy him, 
 he takes up -an unaccountable fominefs for the charac- 
 ter of a fine gentleman ; all his thoughts are -bent upon 
 this, in dead of attending a dific&ion, frequenting the 
 courts of juftice, or ftudying the fathers. . 
 
 D 3 34. Gltantks s
 
 30 THE GENT I, EM AN AND L A DY*S MOXITOR, 
 
 24. Cleantbes reads plays, dances, drefles, and fpends 
 his time in drawing rooms, inftead of being a good law- 
 yer, divine or phyfician ; C leant hes is a downright cox- 
 comb, and will remain to all that knew him a contempt- 
 ible example of talents mifapplied. It is to this affefta- 
 tion ihe world owes its whole race of coxcombs: Nature 
 in her whole drama never drew fucb a part ; Jhe has 
 ibmetimes made a fool, but n coxcomb is always oi. a 
 man's own making, by applying his talents otherwife 
 than nature defigned, who ever bears an high refer, tment 
 lor being put out of her ccurfe, and never tails of taking 
 revenge on thofe that do fo. 
 
 25. Oppofing her tendency in. the application of a 
 man's pans, has the fame fueeefs as declining from her 
 courfe in the production of vegetables: By the aliitl.ince 
 of art and an hot bed, we may poffibly extort ari unwil- 
 ling plant, or an untimely fallad ; but how ; weak-, how 
 laftelets, and ir.fipid ': Juft as infipid as the poetry of 
 Vatcrifl. 
 
 26. J'alerio had an un'verfal character, was genteel, 
 had learning, thought jllftly, fpcke correctly ; it was be- 
 lieved there was nothing in which /Wtr/'o did not excel ; 
 and it was fo far true, that there was but ore ; Valtfio 
 had no genius for poetry, yet lie was rtlbJved to be a 
 poet; he writes verfes, and takes, great pains to con- 
 vince the town, that Vulirio is not that extraordinary 
 perfon he was taken for. 
 
 27. If men would be content to graft upon nature, 
 and affift her operations, what mighty effects might we 
 expect ? Tully would not tlarni fo much alone in oratory, 
 Virgil in poetry, or Ca'/ar in.war. To build upon nature, 
 is laying the foundation upon a rock : every thing dtlpol- 
 es itfelf into order as it were of couife, and the whole 
 work is half done as loon as undertaken. Cicero's genius 
 
 inclined
 
 . AND ENGLISH TEACH ER*S ASSISTANT. 3 1 
 
 inclined him to oratory, /'';> //'s to follow the train of 
 the nmfes . They pioully obeyed the admonition, and 
 were rewarded. 
 
 28. Had Virgil attended the bar, his modeit and in- 
 genious virtue would iurely have made but a very indif- 
 ferent figure; and 7t///y's declaratory inclination woukl 
 have been as ufeleis in poetry. Nature, if left to her- 
 feir", leads us on in the belt courfe, but will do. nothing 
 by cotupulfion ami cordcraint ; and if we are not. fawned 
 to go her way, we are always the greatelt fufierers by it. 
 
 29. Wherever nature dtfigns a production, ilic a'- 
 vays dilpofes feeds proper for it, which areas abfolutely 
 neceiTary to the formation of any moial or intellectual 
 
 .exigence, as they are to the being and growth of plants ; 
 and I know not by what fate and folly it is, that n en 
 are taught not to reckon him equally abfurd that will 
 write vcrfes in fpite of nature, with that gardiner that 
 ihould undertake to raife a jonquil or tulip, without the 
 help of their refpeftive feeds. 
 
 30. As there is no good or bad quality that does not 
 aft eft both fexes, fo it is not to be imagined but the fair 
 fcx murt have lufrered by an affectation of this nature, 
 at leafl. as much as the other : The ill effeft cf it is in 
 nonefo confpicuous as in the two oppofite characters of 
 Calia and Ira* ; Ctflia has all the charms of perfon, to- 
 gether with ?.n abundant lweetne(s of nature, but wants 
 wit, and has a very ill voice ; has is ugly and ungen- 
 tcel, but has wit and good fenfe. 
 
 31. If Ca-lia would be filent, her beholders would 
 adore her ; if Iras would talk, her hearers would admire 
 her : but CW/Vs tongue runs inceflantly, while Iras 
 gives herfelf filent airs and foil languors ; fo that it is 
 difficult to perfuade one's felf that Caelia has beauty and 
 Iras wit: Each neglects her own excellence, and is 
 
 ambitious
 
 J2 THE GENTLEMAN AND L ADf's MONITOR, 
 
 ambitious of the other's character ; Iras would be 
 thought to have as much beauty as Calia, and Calia- 
 as much wit as Iras. 
 
 32. The great misfortune of this affectation is, that 
 men not only lofe a good quality, but alfo contract a bad 
 one : They not only are unfit for what they were de- 
 figned, but they aflign themfelves to what they are not 
 fit for ; and inftead of making a very good figure one 
 way, make a very ridiculousone another. 
 
 33. If Sfmar.tbe would have been fatisfied with her 
 natural complexion, fhe might (till have been celebrated 
 by the name of the olive beauty ; but Stmanlbe has ta- 
 ken up an affectation to white and red, and is row dif- 
 tinguifhed by the character of the lady that paints ib well. 
 
 34. In a word, could the woild be reformed to the 
 obedience of that famed dictate, roi.j.ow NATURE, 
 which the oracle of Delphos pronounced to Cictro when 
 he confulted what courfeof ftuiiies he fliould purfue, we 
 fliould fee almoft every man as eminent in his proper 
 fphere as T//y was in his, and fhould in a very fliort 
 litre find impertinence and affectation baniihed from 
 among the women, and coxcombs and falfe characters 
 from among the men. 
 
 35. For my part, I could never confuier this prepo 
 terous repugnancy to nature any otherwife, than not 
 only as the greateft folly, but alfo one of the moft hei- 
 nous crimes, lince it is a direct oppofuion to the dilpa- 
 lltion of Providence, and (as fully exprefies it) like the 
 fin of the giants, an actual rebellion againl\ heaven. 
 
 SPECTATOR, VOL. VI, NO. 404. 
 
 GOOD
 
 AND ENGLISH TliACHER*S ASSISTANT. 33 
 
 GOOD HUMOUR AND GOOD 
 NATURE. 
 
 i./V MAN advanced in years that thinks fit to look 
 back upon his former life, and calls that only life which 
 was palt with fatisfation and enjoyment, excluding all 
 parts which were, not plealant to him, will find himfdf 
 very young, if not in his infancy. Sicknefs, ill-humour, 
 and id'eneis, will have robbed him of a great fliare of 
 that-fpace we ordinarily call our life. 
 
 2. It is therefore the duly of every man that would 
 be true to himlelf, to obtain, if poflible, a difpofuion to 
 be pleafed, and place himfclf in a conftant aptitude for 
 the fatisfacl'on of his being. Inftc-ad of this, jcu hardly 
 fee a man who is riot unecfy in proportion to his advance- 
 ment in the arts of life. 
 
 3. An affected delicacy is the common improvement 
 we meet with in thofe who pretend to be refined above 
 others: They do not aim at true pleafure themfelves, 
 but turn their thoughts upon obfeiving the falfe plea- 
 
 . fures of other, men. Such people are valetudinarians in 
 fcciety, and they fliould no more come iijto company 
 lhan a fick man {hould come into the air. 
 
 4. If a ijian is too weak to bear what is a refreshment 
 ,- to men in health, he muft dill keep his chamber. When 
 
 any one in Sir Roger's company complains he is cu>. of or- 
 der, he immediately calls for fome poflet drink for him ; 
 for which reafon that fort of people who are ever bewajl- 
 jng thtir constitutions in other places, are the chear- 
 fulleft imaginable when he r is prefent. 
 
 5 .It
 
 34 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY S MONITOR, 
 
 5. It is a wonderful thing that fo many, and they not 
 reckoned abfurd, fliall entertain thofe with whom they 
 converfe, by giving them the hiftory of their pains and 
 aches ; and imagine fuch narrations their quota of the 
 converfation. This is of all other the mcaneft help to 
 diicourfe, and a man mull not think at all, or think him- 
 felf very infignificant, when he finds an account of his 
 head-ache aniwered by another afking what news in the 
 laft mail ? 
 
 6. Mutual good humour is a drefs we ous;ht to appear 
 in wherever we meet, and we fliould make no mention 
 of what concerns ourfelves, without it be of matters 
 wherein our friends ought to rejoice: But indeed there 
 are crowds of people who put themfelves in no method 
 of pleafing themielves or others ; fuch are thofe whom 
 we ufually call Indolent perfons. 
 
 7. Indolence is, methinks, an intermediate (late be- 
 tween pleafure and pain, and very much unbecoming 
 any part of our life after we are out of the nurfe's arms. 
 Such an averfion to labour creates a conftant wearinefs, 
 and one would think iliould make exigence itfelf a bur- 
 den. 
 
 8. The indolent man defcends from the dignity of his 
 nature, and makes that being which was rational, mere- 
 ly vegetative: His life confilh only in the mere in- 
 creafe and decay of a body, which with relation to the 
 reft of the world, might as well have been uninformed, 
 as the habitation of a realbnable mind. 
 
 9 Of this kind is the life of that extraordinary couple 
 Harry Terfet and his lady. Harry was in the days of his 
 celibacy, one of thofe pert creatures who have much vi- 
 vacity and little underftanding; Mrs. Rebecca Quickly t 
 whom he married, had all that the fire of youth and a 
 Jivciy manner could do towards making an agreeable 
 woman. 
 
 10. Thefe
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 35 
 
 10. Thefe two people of. feeming merit fell into each 
 other's arms ; and pafiion being fated, and no reafon or 
 good fenfe in either to fucceed it, their life is now at a 
 ftand ; their meals are infipici, and time tedious ; their 
 fortune has placed them above care, 'and their lofs of 
 tafte reduced them below diverfion. 
 
 i i . When we talk of thefe as infknces of inexiftence, 
 we do not mean, that in order to live it is neceflary we 
 fhoulu always be in jovial crews, ,or crowned with chap^ 
 Ltsof rofes, as the merry fellows among the ancients 
 are defcribed ; but it is intended by confidering thefe 
 contraries to pleafure, indolence, and too much delicacy, 
 to (hew that it is prudence to preferve a difpofition in 
 ourfelves to receive a certain delight in all we hear and 
 fee. 
 
 12. This portable quality of good humour, feafonsall 
 the parts and occurrences we meet with, infuch a man- 
 ner, that there are no moments loft ; but they all pafs 
 with fo much fatisfaftion, that the heavieft of loads 
 (when it is a load) that of time, is never felt by us. 
 
 13. VarHas has this quality to thehigheft perfection, 
 and communicates it wherever he appears : The fad, 
 the merry, the fevere, the melancholy, fhew a new 
 chearfulnefs when he comes amongft them. At the 
 fame time no one can repeat any thing that Varilas has 
 ever faid thatdeferves repetition ; but the man has that 
 innate goodnefs of temper, that he is welcome to every 
 body, becaufe every man thinks he is fo to him. 
 
 14. He does not feem to contribute any thing to the 
 mirth of the company ; and yet upon reflection you find 
 it all happened by his being there. I thought il was 
 whiuifically faid of a gentleman, That if Manias had 
 wit, it would be thebeft wit in the world. It is cer- 
 tain when a well corrected lively imagination and 
 
 good
 
 36 THE CCKTHMA:-: AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 good breeding are added to a fvveet difpontion, they 
 qualify it to be oiiu of the greateft blefiings, as \veli as 
 pleafures of iit"e 
 
 15. Men would come into company with ten Tunes 
 the pleafure they do, if they were lure of hearing nothing 
 which fhould fliock them, as well as expected what 
 would pleaie them. When we know every perlon that 
 is fpoken ot is reprefented by one who has no ill will, 
 and every thing that is mentioned defcribed by one that 
 is apt to fet it in the bed light, the entertainment mult 
 be delicate, becaufe the cook has nothing brought to his 
 hand, but what is mod excellent in its kind. 
 
 16. Beautiful pictures are the entertainments of pure 
 minds, and deformities of the corrupted. It is a degree 
 towards the life of angels, when we enjoy conversation 
 wherein there is nothing prefent but in its excellence ; 
 and a degree towards that of cismcns, wherein nothing 
 is jhewn but in its degeneracy. 
 
 SPECTATOR, VOL. II, NO. TOO. 
 
 ,0t 
 
 FRIENDSHIP. 
 
 'NE would think that the larger the company is in 
 which we are engaged, the greater variety of thoughts 
 and fubjefls would be ftarted indifcouife; but inilead of 
 this, we fimi that con verlation is never fo much ftiaitened 
 and confined as in numerous aflemblit-s. 
 
 2. When a multitude meet together upon any fubjcCt 
 of dilcourfe, their debates are taken up chiefly with forms 
 and general pofitions : nay, if we come into a more 
 contracted afTem.bly of men and women, the talk gene- 
 rally runs upon the weather, fafhions, news, and -the 
 i.kc public topics. 
 
 3. In
 
 A\'D ENSLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 37 
 
 3. In proportion as converfation gets into clubs and 
 knots of friends, it defccnds into particulars, -and grows 
 more free and communicative : But the moft open, in- 
 ftruftive, and unrtferved ditcourfe, is that which pafles 
 between two perfons who are familiar and intimate 
 
 friends. 
 
 4. On thefe occafions, a man gives a loofe to every 
 paflion, and every thought that is uppcrmoft, difcovers 
 his moft retired opinions of perfons and things, tries 
 the beauty and ftrength of his fentiments, and expofes 
 his whole foul to the examination of. his friend. 
 
 <j. Tally was the firft who obferved, that fciend&ip 
 improves happinefs and abates mifery, .by-the doubling 
 of our joy and dividing of our grief : a thought m 
 which he ha,th been followed by all the cjlayers. upon 
 friendflup, that have written fince his time. Sir Fran- 
 cis Bacon has finely defcribed other advantages,- or, as 
 he calls them, fruits of friendship ; and indeed. thefe is 
 no fubjeft of morality which has been better bandied 
 and more exhaufted than this. 
 
 6. Among the feveral fine things which have been 
 fpoken of it, I (hall beg leave to quote fome put of a. 
 very ancient author, whofe book would be regarded b_p 
 our modern wits as one of the moft fliinirig traits of 
 morality that is extant, if it appeared under the nanse 
 of a Confucius, or of any celebrated Grecian philofo- 
 pher: I mean the little Apocryphal Treatife entitled, 
 The Wifjom of the Son of Sirach. 
 
 7. How finely has he defcribed the art of piafeiag 
 friends, by an obliging and affable behaviour ? AnJ.. 
 laid down that precept which a late excellent Author 
 has delivered as his own, ' That we fliould have man/ 
 
 * well-wiiHers, but few friends.' * Sweet language- 
 
 ' will multiply friends ; and a fair-fpeaking tongue 
 
 * * will
 
 38 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ' will increafe kind greetings. Bz in peace with ma- 
 nv, neveithelefs have but one counfellor of a thou- 
 ' fund.' 
 
 8. With what prudence does he caution us in the 
 choice of our friends? And with what ftrokes of na- 
 ture (I could almofl fay, of humour) has he deferred 
 the behaviour of a treacherous and lelf-interefted 
 friend ? ' If thou wouldft get a friend, prove him firft, 
 ' and be not hafty to credit him : For ibme man is a 
 
 * friend for iiis own occafion, and wili not abide in the 
 ' day of thy trouble. 
 
 9. "* And there is a friend who being turned to enmi- , 
 
 * ty and ftrife, will difcover thy reproach.' Again, 
 ' Some friend is a companion at the table, and will 
 
 * not continue in the day of thy affliclion : But in thy 
 
 * profperity he will be as thyfelf, and will be bold over 
 
 * thy fervants. If thou be brought low he will be a- 
 
 * gainft thee, and hide himfelf from thy face.' 
 
 10. What can be more.ftrong and pointed than the 
 following verfe? 'Separate thyfelf from thine ene- 
 
 * uiies, and take heed of thy friends.' In the next 
 words he particularizes one of thofe fruits of friend- 
 fhfp which is defcribed at length by the two famous au- 
 thors abovementioned, and falls into a general eulogi- 
 um of friendihip, which is very juft as well as very fu- 
 bliine. 
 
 11. * A faithful friend is a ftrong defence j and he 
 
 * that hath found fuch an one, hath found a treafure. 
 
 * Nothing doth countervail a faithful friend, and his ex- 
 
 * cellency is unvaluable. A faithful friend is the medi- 
 
 * cine of liTe; and they that fear the Lord fhall find 
 
 * him. Whofofeareth the Lord fliall direct his friend- 
 
 * fhip aright ; for as he is, fo fhall his neighbour, (that 
 
 * is, his friend) be alfo.' 
 
 12. I
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 39 
 
 12. I do not remember to have met with any faying 
 that has pleafed me more than that of a friend's being 
 the medicine of life, to exprefs the efficacy of friend- 
 fhip in healing the pains and anguifli which naturally 
 cleave to our exiftence in this world ; and am wonder- 
 fully pleafed with the turn in the laft fentence, That 
 virtuous man fhall as a blefiing meet with a frierd who 
 is as virtuous as himfelf. 
 
 1 3. There is another faying in the fame author which 
 would have been very much admired in an heathen 
 writer i ' Forfake not an old friend, for the new is not 
 comparable to him: Anew friend is as new wine | 
 when it is old thou fhalt drink it with pleafure.' 
 
 14. With what ftrength of aliufion, and force of 
 thought, has he defcribed the breaches and violations of 
 friendfhip? ' Whofo cafteth a ftone at the birds fray- 
 eth them away ; and he that upbraidet-h his friend, 
 breaketh friendiliip. Though thou draweft a fword at 
 a friend, yet defpair not, for there may be a returning 
 to favour: If thou hart opened thy mouth againft thy 
 friend, fear not, for there may be a reconciliation j ex- 
 cept for upbraiduig, or pride, or dilcloiing of (berets, 
 or a treacherous wound ; for, for theie things, every 
 friend will depart.' 
 
 15. We may cblerve in this and feveral other pre- 
 cepts in this author, thole little taivtl;ar instances and 
 illuft rations which are fo much aumiied in the moral 
 writings- of Horace and Efiidetus Tht:re arc very beau- 
 tiful inrtanees of this nature in the follow, ng paflages,.. 
 which are likewiie written upon the uc fubject : 
 
 16. ' Whofo diTcovercth fccuu- lafet^i ni? credit, 
 ' and fliall never fine a friend to his mind. Love thy 
 ' friend, and be faithful unto him ; but if thou be- 
 * wraytil his iecrets,- follow no more after him: For 
 
 E *. * as
 
 4.0 THE EKTLEMAN AND L A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 * as a man hath deftroyed his enemy, fo haft tliou loft 
 4 the love of thy friend j as one that letteth^a bird go 
 
 * out of his hand, fo haft thou let thy 'friend go, and 
 
 * fhalt not get him again : Follow after him no more, 
 ' for he is too far off j he is as a roe efcaped out of the 
 
 * fnfire. As for a wound, it may be bound up, and af- 
 
 * ter reviling there may be reconciliation j but he that 
 
 * bewrayeth fecrets, is without hope.' 
 
 17. Among the feveral qualifications of a good friend, 
 this wife man has very juftly fmgled out conttancy and 
 faithfulnefs as the principal : To thefe, others have add- 
 ed virtue, knowledge, difcretion, equality in age and 
 fortune, and as Cictro calls it, mirum comitas, a plea- 
 fantnefs of temper. 
 
 1 8. If I were to give my opinion upon fuch an ex- 
 liautted fubjecl, I fhould join to thefe other qualifica- 
 tions a certain equability, or ' evennefs of behaviour. 
 A man often contracts a friend (hip with one whom per- 
 haps he does riot find out till after a year's converfation ; 
 when on a fudden fome latent ill humour breaks out up- 
 on him,, which he never difcovered or fufpected at his 
 firft entering into an intimacy with hifn. 
 
 19. There are feveral perfons who in fome certain 
 periods of their lives are incxpreflibly agreeable, and in 
 others as odious and tieteftable. Martial has given us 
 a very pretty picture of one of this fptcies in the fol- 
 lowing epigram : 
 
 Difficilis t fticilis, jucunlus, ncerlnii es ijem, 
 
 NfC t<cuin pc'jjiiiu vivere, nee fine te. E p i G. 47, L. 12. 
 
 In ?!l thy humours, whether grave or mellow, 
 Thou'rt fnch a touchy, telly, p'.eafant folio . ; 
 Htift fo much wit, and mirth, and fpleen about thee, 
 There is no living with ihee, nor wiihout thee. 
 
 20. It
 
 AN D EN C I/I S H" T E A C H E R'S ASSISTANT. 4! 
 
 20. It is very unlucky for a man to be entangled in a 
 friendlliip with one, who by thefe changes and vicifii- 
 tuties-of humour is fometimes amiable and fometimes o- 
 cious : and as -mod men are at fometimes in an admirable 
 frame and diipuiition of mind, it flioukl be one of the 
 greateft tafks of wifdom to keep ourfeUes well when we: 
 me fo, and never to go out of that which is the agreea- 
 ble part of our character. 
 
 S P I- C T A T C Jl , V L k I , NO. 68. 
 
 ii. * Friendfliip is a fuong ar.il habitual inclination 
 in two perlons to promote the good and happinefs of 
 one another.' Though the- pleafures and advantages of 
 friend fhip have been largely celebrated by the beft mo- 
 ral writers, and are confident by ail as great ingredi- 
 ents of human happinels, we v.ry rarely u^eet with the 
 pradiceof this virtue in the world. 
 
 22, Every man is ready to give a long catalogue of 
 thofe virtues and good qualities he expects to find in the 
 per (on of a friend, but very few of us. are careful to 
 cultivate them in ourfelvev 
 
 Lave and c-tteem are the firft principles of friendfhip, 
 which always is imperietllt where either of thefe two is 
 waning. 
 
 23. As on the one hand, .we are foon ailiamed of lov- 
 ing a man whom we cannot efteem ; fo, on the .other, 
 though we are truly fenfible of a man's abilities, we can 
 never raife ourlclves to the warmths of frierciihip, with- 
 out an aftcdionate good will towards his perlbn. 
 
 24., Frienoiliip immediately ba-niflies envy under all 
 its difguilcs. A man who can once dov.b. whctiier he 
 fliould rejoice in his friend's b'eing happier than hi;nfelf, 
 may Depend upon it,- that lie is an utter (hunger to this 
 virtue. 
 
 E 3 - 25. There
 
 4* THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 25. There is fomething in friendfliip fo very great 
 and noble, that in thofe fiditious ftories which are in- 
 vented to the honour of any p-miciilar perfon, the au- 
 thors have thought it as necelfary to make their hero a 
 friend as a lover, dcbilles his his Patroclus, and /vr- 
 cs his Achates. 
 
 36. In the firft of thofe inftances we may ebferve, 
 for the reputation of the fubjecl I am treating of, that 
 Greece was almcft ruined by the hero's love, but was 
 preferved by his friend/hip. 
 
 27. The character of debates fuggefis to us an obfer- 
 'vation we may often make on the intimacies of great 
 
 men, who frequently choofe their companions rather for 
 the qualities of the heart, than thofe of the head ; and 
 prefer fidelity, in an enfy, incffenfive, complying tem- 
 per, to thofe endowments \vhich make a much greater 
 figure among mankind. 
 
 28. I do not remember that Ad'ates, who is repre- 
 fented as the firft favourite, either gives his advice, cr 
 ftrikes a blow, through the whole JEtiriti. 
 
 A friendfliip which makes the lead noife, is very of- 
 ten the mort ufeful ; for which reafon \ fhould prefer a 
 prudent friend to a zealous one. 
 
 29. AiticuS) one of the bell men of ancient Rome, 
 was a very remarkable inftance of what I am here fpeak- 
 ing. This extraordinary perfon, amidft the civil wars 
 of his country, when he faw the defigns of all parties 
 equally tended to the fubverfion of liberty, by conftant- 
 Jy preferving the efteem and affecYion of both the com- 
 petitors, found means to ferve his friends on either liJe ; 
 and while he lent money to young Mariuf, whole la- 
 ther was declared an enemy to the commonwealth, he- 
 was himfelf one of Sj//<ij chief favourites, and always 
 near that general.
 
 AND ENGLISH TE ACH ER*S ASS 1ST ANT. 43 
 
 30. During the war between Co-far and Tcmpey, 
 he ftill maintained the fame conduct. After the death 
 of Ctffar, he fent money to Brutus in his troubles, 
 and did a thcufand good offices to sinlhony's wife and 
 friends, when that party feemed ruined. Laftly, evmin 
 that blocdv war between Anthony and Jugujlut, Jltifus 
 ftill kept his place in both their friend Ihipy; infomuch, 
 that the full, fays Cornetim A T efos, whenever he was ab- 
 fent from Rome in any part 01 the empire, writ punctu- 
 ally to him what he was doing, what he read, and whi- 
 ther he intended to go ; anil the latter gave him con- 
 ftantly an exact account of all his affairs. 
 
 31. A likenefs of inclinations in every particular is 
 fo far from being requifite to form a benevolence .in two 
 minds towards each other, as it is generally imagined, 
 that I believe we fhall find fome of the firmed friend- 
 iliips to have been contracted between perfons of diffe- 
 rent humours ; the mind being often pleafed with thofe 
 perfections which are new to it, and which it does not 
 find among its own accomp!il!imentj % 
 
 3Z. Befides, that a man in fouie meafare fupplies 
 his own defects, and fancies himfelf at fecond-hand pof- 
 fdled'of thofe good qualities and endowments, which 
 are in the poiTeflion of him who in the eye of the world 
 is looked on as his other- felf. 
 
 33. The moft difficult province in friendiliip, is tfie 
 letting of a man fee his faults and errors, which fhould, 
 if poflible, be fo contrived, that he may perceive our 
 advice is given him not fo much to ple.tfe ourfelves, as 
 for his own advantage. The reproaches therefore of a 
 friend fliould always be ftriftly juft, and not too fre- 
 quent. 
 
 34.. The violent defite of pleafin g in the perfon re- 
 proved, may otherwife change into a defpair of doing 
 
 it.
 
 44 THE GENTLEMAN A N P I. A D Y*S MONITOR, 
 
 it, while he finds himfelt" cenlured for faults he is not 
 confcious of. A mind that is fof'tened and humanized 
 by friend Hi ip, cannot bear frequent reproaches; either- 
 it mutt quite fink under the opprtiTion, or ab.Ue confif 
 derably of the value and efteem it had for him who 
 befto-vs them. 
 
 35. The proper bufinefs of friend/hip is to infpire 
 life and courage ; and a foul, .thus fupported, out-does 
 itfelf; whereas if it be unexpected!}' deprived of thole 
 fuccours, it droops and languifhes. 
 
 36. We are in lorae meafure more inexcufable if we 
 violate our duties to a friend, than to a relation ; fince 
 the former arife from a voluntary choice, the latter from. 
 a. neceflity, to which we could not give our own con- 
 fent. 
 
 37. As it has been faid on one fide, that a man ought 
 not to break with a faulty friend, that he may not cx- 
 pofe the weaknefs of his choice ; it will doubtlefs hoM 
 much ilronger with refpect to a worthy one, that he 
 may never be upbraided for having loft fo valuable a 
 treafure which was once in his poiTefllon. 
 
 ,1 
 
 DETRACTION AND FALSEHOOD. 
 
 HAVE not feen you lately at any of the places 
 where- I vific, fo that I am afraid you are wholly un- 
 acquainted with what pafles among my part of the 
 world, who are, though I fay it, v.ithout controverfy, 
 the moft accoaipliflied and bell bred of the town. 
 
 2. Give me leave 10 tell you, that I am extremely 
 difcompofed when I hear fcandal, and am an utter ene- 
 my to all manner of detraction, and think it the greateft 
 nieannels that people of diftmclion can be guihy of; 
 however, it is hardly poflible to come into company, 
 
 where
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. 45 
 
 where you do not find them pulling one another to 
 pieces, and that from no other provocation, but that 
 of hearing any one commended. 
 
 3. Merit, both as to wit and beauty, is become no 
 other than the poffeflion of a few trifling people's favour, 
 which you cannot pofiibly arrive at, if you have really 
 any thing in you that is deferving. 
 
 4. What they would bring to pafs is, to make all 
 good and evil confift in report, and with whifpers, 
 calumnies, and impertinences, to have the conduct of 
 thofe reports. 
 
 5. By thefe means, innocents are blafted upon their 
 full appearance in townj and there is nothing more re- 
 quired to make a young woman the object of envy and 
 hatred, than to deferve love and admiration. 
 
 *6. This abominable endeavour to fupprefs 9r leflen 
 every thing that is praife- worthy, is as frequent among 
 the men as the women. If I can remember what pafled 
 at a vifit laft night, it will ferve as an inflance that the 
 fexes are equally inclined to defamation, with equal 
 malice, with equal impotence. 
 
 7. Jack Triplett came into my lady Aiiy's about 
 eight ot the clock. You know the manner we fit at a 
 vifit, and I need not defcribe the circle j but Mr. Trip- 
 lett came in, introduced by two tapers fupported by a" 
 fpruce lervant, whole hair is under a cap till my lady's 
 candles are all lighted up, and the hour of ceremony 
 begins. 
 
 8. I fay Jack Triplett came in, and finging(for he is 
 really good company) * Every feature, charming crea- 
 ture,' he went on It is a mod unreafonable thing that 
 people cannot go peaceably to fee their iijends., but thefe 
 murderers are let locfe. 
 
 9 Such a fhape ! fuch an air ! what a glance, was 
 
 that
 
 46 THE GENTLEMAN' AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 that as a chariot patted by mine My lady herfelf inter- 
 rupted him ; pray, who is this fine thing I warrant, 
 fays another, 'tis the creature I \vas telling your lady- 
 fhip of juft now. 
 
 10. You were telling of ? f?.ys Jack ; I wiili I had 
 been fo happy as to have come in and heard you, for I 
 have not words to lay what fhe is : But it an agreeable 
 height, a modeil air, a virgin fliame, and impatience of 
 
 being beheld, aniidlt a blavse of ten thoufand charms 
 
 The whole room flew out Oh Mr. Triplett f 
 
 When Mrs. Lofty, a known prude, faid fhe believed 
 fhe knew whom the gentleman meant ; but fhe was, 
 indeed, as he civilly reprefented her, impatient of being 
 beheld. Then turning to the lady next her The 
 moll unbred creature you ever faw. 
 
 1 1 . Another purfued the difcourfe : As unbred, Mad- 
 am, as you may think her, fhe is extremely belied if fhe 
 is the novice fhe appears ; fhe was laft week at a ball 
 till two in the morning ; Mr. Triplett knows whether he 
 was the happy man that took care of her home; but- 
 This was followed by fome particular exception that 
 each woman in the room made to fome peculiar grace 
 or advantage; fo that Mr. Triplett was beaten from one 
 limb and feature to another, till he was forced to refign 
 the whole woman. 
 
 \z. In the end, I took notice, Triplett recorded all 
 this malice in his heart ; and faw in his countenance, 
 and a certain waggifh fhrug. that he defigned to repeat 
 the converfation : I therefore let the tiifcourfe die, and 
 fbon after took an occaflon to commend a certain gentle- 
 man of my acquaintance for a perfon of fingular modef- 
 ty, courage, integrity, and withal, as a man of an en- 
 tertaining conversion, to which advantages he. had a 
 fhapc and manner peculiarly graceful. 
 
 13. Mr.
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER. 's ASSISTANT, 47 
 
 13. Mr.- Triplett, who is a woman's inan, feemed to 
 hear me, with patience enough, commend the quality of 
 his mind j he never heard, indeed, but that he was a 
 very honed man, and no foo! ; but for a firve gentleman, 
 he mud afk pardon. Upon no other foundation than this, 
 Mr. Triplett took occafion to give the gentleman's pedi- 
 
 " gree, by what methods fome part of the eftate was ac- 
 quired, how much it was* beholden to a marriage for 
 the prefent circumftances of it : After all, he could fee 
 nothing but a common man in his perfon, his breeding, 
 or underftanding. 
 
 14. Thus, MR. SPECTATOR, this impertinent hu- . 
 mour of diminifhing every one who is produced in con- 
 verfition to their advantage, runs through the world ; 
 and I am, I confefs, fo fearful of the force of ill tongues, 
 that I have begged of all thofe who are my well-wifliers, 
 never to commend me, for it will but bring my frailties 
 into examination, and 1 had rather be unobferved, than 
 confpicuous for difputed perfections. 
 
 15. 1 am confident a thoufand young people, who 
 would have been ornaments tofociety, have, from fear 
 of fcandal, never dared to exert themfelves in the polite 
 arts of life. Their lives have parted away in an odious 
 rufticity, in fpite of great advantages of perfon, genius, 
 and fortune. 
 
 16. There is a vicious terror of being blamed in fome 
 well inclined people, and a wicked pleafure in fupprefling 
 them in others ; both which I recommend to your fpec- 
 tatorial wifdorr to animadvert upon; and if you be fuc- 
 cefsful in it, I need not fay how much you will deferve 
 it of the town ; but new toafts will owe to you their 
 beauty, and new wits their fame. 
 
 17. Truth and reality have all the advantages of ap- 
 pearance, and many more. If the fhew of any thing be 
 
 good
 
 48 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 good for any thing, I am fure flncerity is better: For 
 why does any man diflemble, or feem to be that which 
 he is not, but becaufe he thinks it good lo have fuch a 
 quality as he pretends to? For to counterfeit and diffem- 
 ble, is to put on the appearance of fome real excellency. 
 
 18. Now the bell way in the world for a man to feem 
 to be any thing, is really to be what he would feem to 
 be. Betides that, it is many times as troublefome to 
 make good the pretence of a good quality as to have it ; 
 and if a man have it not, it is ten to one but he is difco- 
 vered to want it, and then all his pains and labour to 
 feem to have it are loft. There is fomething unnatural 
 in painting, which a fkilful eye will eafily difcern from- 
 native beauty and complexion. 
 
 19. It is hard to perfonate and act a part long; for 
 where truth is net at the bottom, nature will always be 
 endeavouring to return, -and will peep out and betray her- 
 felf one time or other. Therefore, if any man think it 
 convenient to feem good, let him be fo indeed, and then 
 his goodnefs will appear to every body's fatisfaclion ; fo 
 that upon all accounts fmcerity is true wifdom. 
 
 20. Particularly as to the affairs cf this world, in r 
 tegrity hath many advantages over all the fine and arti- 
 ficial ways of diflhnulation and deceit; it is much the 
 plainer and eafier, much the fafer and more fecure way 
 of dealing in the world ; it has lefs of trouble and 
 difficulty, of entanglement and perplexity, of danger 
 and hazard in it ; it is the iliorteft and neareft way to our 
 end, carrying us thither in a ftraight line, and will hold 
 out and laft longed. 
 
 21. The arts of deceit and cunning do continually 
 grow weaker and lefs effectual and ferviceable to them 
 that ufe them ; whereas integrity gains ftrcngth by ufe, 
 and the more and longer any man pratUi'eth it, the great-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER.'o ASSISTANT. 49 
 
 er fervice it does him by confirming his reputation, and 
 encouraging thofe with whom he hath to do, to repofe 
 the greateft truft. and confidence in him, which is an 
 urilpeakable advantage in the uufinefs and affairs of life. 
 
 22. Truth is always confident with itfelf, and needs 
 nothing to help it out ; it is always near at hand, and 
 fits upon our lips, and is ready to dropout before we are 
 aware ; whereas a lie is troublefome, and fets a man's 
 invention upon the rack, and one trick needs a great 
 many more to make it good. 
 
 23. It is like building upo"n a falfe foundation, which - 
 continually (lands in need of props to flioar it up, and 
 proves at laft more chargeable, than to have raifed a 
 fubftantial building at firft upon a true and folid foundi- 
 tion ; for fincerity is firm and fubftantial, and there is 
 nothing hollow and unfound in it, and becaufeit is plain 
 and open, fears no difcovery : 
 
 24.. Of which the crafty man is always in danger, and 
 when he thinks he walks in the dark, all his pretences 
 are fo iranfparent, that he who runs may read them ; he 
 is the laft man that finds himfelf to be found out, and 
 whilft he takes it for granted that he makes foois of o- 
 thers, he renders himfelf ridiculous. 
 
 25. Add to all this, that iincerity is the inoft compen- 
 dious wifdoin, and an excellent inibument for the fpee- 
 dy difpatch of bufinefs ; it creates confidence in thofe we 
 have to deal with, faves the labour of many enquiries, 
 and brings things to an ilTue in a few word?. 
 
 26. It is like travelling in a plain beaten rpad, which 
 commonly brings a man looner tx> his journey's end than 
 by-ways, in which men often lofe therufelves. Irra word, 
 whatfoever convenience may be thought to be in falte- 
 hood and diffimulation, it is loon over ; but the ineonve- 
 
 F . n?.ei;ce
 
 50 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 nience of it is perpetual, becaufe it brings a man under 
 an ereriaRing jealoufy and fufpicion, fo that he is not 
 believed when he fpeaks truth, nor trufled when perhaps 
 he means honeftly ; when a man hath once forfeited the 
 the reputation of his integrity, he is fet faft, and nothing 
 will then ferve his turn, neither truth nor falfehood. 
 
 27. And I have often thought, that God hath, in his 
 great wifdom, hid from men of fa lie and difhoneft minds, 
 the wonderful advantages of truth and integrity to the 
 profperity even of our worldly affairs ; thefe men are fo 
 blinded by their covetoufncfs and ambition, that they 
 cannot look beyond a prefent advantage, nor forbear to 
 feize upon it, though by ways never fo indirect ; they 
 cannot fee fo far, as to the remote confequences of a 
 fteady integrity, and the vaft benefit and advantages 
 which it will bring a man at laft. 
 
 28. Were but this fort of men wife and clear-righted 
 enough to difcern this, they would be honeft out of ve- 
 ry knavery ; not out of any love to honeuy and virtue, 
 but with a crafty defign to promote and advance more 
 effectually their own interefts ; and therefore the juftice 
 of the divine Providence hath hid this trueft point of wif- 
 dom from their eyes, that bad men might not be upon 
 equal terms with the juit and upright, and ferve their 
 own wicked deftgns by honeft and lawful means. 
 
 29. Indeed, if a man were only to deal in the world 
 for a day, and fhould never have occafton to converfe 
 more with mankind, never more need their good opinion, 
 or good word, it were then no great matter (fpeaking as 
 to ihe concernments of this world) if a man fpent his re- 
 putation all at once, and ventured it at one throw. 
 
 30. But if he be to continue in the world, and would 
 have the advantage of converfation whilfl he is in it, let 
 him make ufe of truth and fincerity in all his words and 
 
 aftions ;
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 5! 
 
 actions ; for nothing but this will iaft and hold out to 
 the end ; all other arts will fail, but truth and integrity 
 vill carry a man through, and bear him out to the iaft. 
 
 3 1 . When Ariftotle was once aflced, what a man could 
 gain by uttering falfehcods? he replied, " Not to be 
 credited when he /hall tell the truth." 
 
 The character of a liar is at once fo hateful and con- 
 temptible, that even of thofe who have loft their virtue 
 it might be expelled, that from the violation of truth 
 they fnould be reflrained by their pride. Almoft every 
 other vice that difgraces human nature, may be kept in 
 countenance by applaufe and afiTociation. 
 
 32. The corrupter of virgin innocence feeshimfelf en* 
 vied by the men, and at leaft not deterted by the wo. 
 men. The drunkard may eafily unite with beings de- 
 voted like hirufelf tonoify merriment or filentinfenfibility, 
 who will celebrate his victories over the novices of intem- 
 perance, boaft themfelves the companions of his prow- 
 efs, and tell with rapture of the multitudes whomunfuc- 
 cefsful emulation has hurried to the grave : even the rob- 
 ber and the cut-thioat have their followers, who admire 
 their addrefs and intrepidity, their ftratagems of rapine, 
 and their fidelity to the gang. 
 
 33. The liar, and only the liar, is invariably and uni- 
 verfally defpifed, abandoned and difowned : he has no 
 domeftic confolations, which he can oppofe to the cen- 
 fure of mankind; he can retire to no fraternity where his 
 crimes may (land in the place of virtues, but is given up 
 to the hifics of the multitude, without friend and with- 
 out apologift. It is the peculiar condition of falfehood, 
 to be equally detefttd by the good and bad. " The de- 
 vils," fays Sir Thomas Brown, " do not tell lies to one 
 another ; for truth is necefTary to all focieties ; nor can 
 the fociety of hell fubfift without it, u 
 
 F2 34. It
 
 52 THE CEKTLEM AN AND L ADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 34. It is natural to expect, that a crime thus general- 
 ly detefted, fhould be generally avoided ; at lead that 
 none fho!d expofe himlelf to unabated and unpitied in- 
 iamy, without an adequate temptation; and that to 
 guik fo eafily detected, and fo fcverely puniihed, an 
 adequate temptation would not readily be found. 
 
 35. Yet, To it is, that in defiance of cenfureand con- 
 lempt, truth is frequently violated ; and fcarcely the 
 moft vigilant and unremitted circumfpection will fecure 
 him that mixes with mankind, from being hourly deceiv- 
 ed by men of whom it can fcarcely be imagined, that 
 they mean any injury to him, or profit to themfelvcs; 
 even where the fubject of conversation could not have 
 been expected to put the pafiions in motion, or to have 
 excited either hope or fear, or zeal, or malignity, fuffi- 
 cient to induce any man to put his reputation in hazard, 
 however little he might value it, or to overpower the 
 love of truth, however weak might be its influence. 
 
 36. The cafuifts have very diligently dirtinguifhed 
 lies into their feveral clafles, according to their various 
 degrees of malignity ; but they have, 1 think, generally 
 omitted that which is moft common, and, 'perhaps, not 
 lefs mifchievcus ; which fince the moralifts have not 
 given it a name, I fha!! diftingui/H as the lie of vanity. 
 
 To vanity mav juftly be imputed moft of the falfe- 
 hocds, which every man perceives hourly playing upon 
 his ear, and perhaps moft cf thofe that are propagated 
 with fuccefs. 
 
 37. To the lie of commerce, and the lie of malice, 
 the motive is fo apparent, that they are felooni negli- 
 gently cr implicitly received; fufpicion is always watch- 
 i'ul ever the practices of intereft $ and whatever the 
 'hope of gain, or defne of mifchief, can prompt one man 
 
 toaffer:, another is by reafons equally cogent incited to 
 
 refute.
 
 AND ENCLISH TE ACH ER's ASSISTANT. 5$ 
 
 refute. But vanity pleafes herfelf with fuch flight grati- 
 fications, and looks forward to pleafure fo remotely con- 
 fequcntial, that her praclices raife no alarm, and her 
 flratagems are not eafily difcovered. 
 
 38. Vanity is, indeed, often fuffered to pafs unpurfued 
 by fufpicion ; becaufe he that would watch her motions, 
 can never be at relt ; fraud and malice are bounded in 
 their influence ; fome opportunity of time and place is 
 neceflary to their agency ; but fcarce any man is ab- 
 ft rafted one moment from his vanity ; and he to whom 
 truth a {Fords no gratifications, is generally inclined to 
 feek them in falfehoods. 
 
 39. It is remarked by Sir Kenelm Digby, " that eve- 
 ry man has a defire to appear fuperior to others, though 
 it were only in having feen what they have not feen." 
 
 Such an accidental advantage, fince it neither implies 
 merit, nor confers dignity, one would think ftiould not 
 be defireu fo much as to be counterfeited ; yet even this 
 vanity, trifling as it is, produces innumerable narratives, 
 all equally falfe, but more or lefs credible, in proporti- 
 on to the (kill or confidence of the relater. 
 
 40. How many may a man of diffufive converfation 
 count among his acquaintances, whofe lives have been 
 fignaliled by numberlefs efcapes ; who ne-Ver crofs the 
 river but in a Horm, or take a journey into the country 
 without more adventures lhan befel the night-errands of 
 ancient times in pathlefs forefts or inchanted caftles ! 
 How many muft he know, to whom portents and prodi- 
 gies are of daily occurrence ; and for whom nature is 
 hourly working wondeis invifible to every other eye, 
 only to fupply them with fubjefts of convention ! 
 
 41. Others there are that amufe themfelves with the 
 ditTemination of falfehood, at greater hazard of detection 
 and difgrace ; men marked out by feme lucky planet for
 
 54 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADV*S MONITOR, 
 
 univerfal confidence and fiiendiliip, who have been con- 
 fulted.in every difficulty, entrufted with every fecret, 
 and fumrnqned to every tranlaction : it is the lupreme 
 felicity of thtfe men, to ftun ail companies vviia noify 
 information ; to (till doubt, and overbear oppofitiou, 
 uith certain knowledge or authentic intelligence. 
 
 42. A liar of this kind, with a ftrong memory orbrifk 
 imagination, is often the oracle of an obfcure club, and 
 tili time difcovers his impoitures, dictates to his hearers 
 with uncontrouled authority ; for if a public queftion be 
 ftarted, he was prefent at the debate : if a new faihion 
 be mentioned, he was at court the firft day of its appear- 
 ance ; if a new performance of literature draws the at- 
 tention of the public, he has patronifed the author, and 
 feen his work in manufcript j if a criminal of eminence 
 be condemned to die, he often predicted his fate, and 
 endeavoured his reformation ; and who that lives at a dif- 
 tance from the fcene of action, will dare to Coi'tradict a 
 man, who reports from his own eyes and ears, and to 
 whom all perfons and affairs are thus intimately known ? 
 
 43. This kind ot falfehood is generally fuccefsful for 
 a time, becaufe it is practifed at firft with timidity and 
 caution ; but the profperity of the liar is of fhort durati- 
 on ; the reception of one ftory, is always an incitement 
 to the forgery of another lefs probable ; and he goes on 
 to triumph over tacit credulity, till pride or reafon rifes 
 up againft him, and his companions will no longer ea- 
 dure to fee him wifer than themfelves. 
 
 44. It is apparent, that the inventors of all thefe fic- 
 tions intend fome exaltation of themfelves, and are led 
 cff by the purfuit of honour from their attendance upon 
 truth ; their narratives always imply fome confequence 
 in favour of their courage, their fagacity, or their acti- 
 vity, their familiarity with the learned, or their recepti- 
 on
 
 AK0 ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 55 
 
 on among the great ; they are always bribed by the 
 prefent pleasure of feeing themfelves fupcrior to thofe 
 that furround them, and receiving the homage of fiJent 
 attention and envious admiration. 
 
 45. Out vanity is fometinies excited to fiction by lefs 
 vifible gratifications ; the prefent age abounds with a 
 race of liars who are content with the confcioufnefs of 
 falfehood, and whofe pride is to deceive others without 
 any gain or glory to themfelves. Of this tribe it is the 
 fupreme pleafure to remark a lady in the play-houfe, or 
 the park, and to publifhj undei the character of a man 
 futlderily enamoured, an advertifement in the news of 
 the next day, containing a minute defcription of her per- 
 fon and her drefs. 
 
 46. From this artifice, however, no other effect can 
 be expected, than perturbations which the writer can 
 never fee, and conjectures of which he can never be in- 
 formed ; fome mifchief, however, he hopes he has done; 
 and to have done mifchief is of fome importance. He 
 fets his invention to work again, and proJuces a narra- 
 tive of a robbery, or a murder, with all the circumitan- 
 ces of time and place accurately adjufted. This is a jeft 
 of greater effect and longer duration ; if he fixes his 
 fcene at a proper diftance, he may for feveral days keep 
 a wife in terror for her huiband, or a mother for her foil ; 
 and pleale himfelf with reflecting, that by his abilities 
 and addrefs fome addition is made to the miferies of life. 
 
 47. There is, I think, an ancient law in Scotland, by 
 which Leafing-makir.g was capitally puniflied. I am, 
 indeed, far from defiring to increafe in this kingdom the 
 number of executions; yet I cannot but think, that they 
 who deftroy the confidence of fociety, weaken the credit 
 of intelligence, and interrupt the lecurity of life ; har- 
 
 rafs
 
 56 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 rafs the delicate with fliame, and perplex the tlmorou* 
 with alarms ; might very properly be awakened to a fenfe 
 of their crimes, by denunciations of a whipping-pod, or 
 pillory ; fince many are fo inienfible of right and wrong, 
 thai they have no ftandard of adtion but the law;, nor, 
 feel guilt, but as they dread punifhment. 
 
 THE IMPORTANCE OF PUNCTUALITY. 
 
 ,1 
 
 IT is obferved in the writings of Doyle, that tliG 
 excellency of manufactures, and facility of labour, 
 weuJd be much promoted, if the various expedients and 
 contrivances which lie concealed in private hands, were 
 by reciprocal communications -made generally known ; 
 for there are few operations that are not performed by 
 one or other with fotne peculiar advantages, which 
 though fingly of little importance, would by conjundi- 
 on and concurrence open new inlets to knowledge, and 
 give new powers to diligence. 
 
 2. There are in like manner feveral moral excellencies 
 (iiftributed among the various clafles of mankind, whkh 
 he that converles in the world fliould endeavour to a- 
 femble in hitnfelf. It was laid by the learned Cujac'us, 
 that he never read more than one book, by which he was 
 not infl.ru6ted ; and he that fliall enquire after virtue 
 with ardour and attention, will feldom find a man by 
 whofe example or fentiaients he may not be improved. 
 
 3. Every profeflion has fome effential and appropriate 
 virtue, without which there can be no hope of honour 
 
 or
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 57 
 
 or fuccefs, and which as it is more or lefs cultivated, 
 confers within its fphere of a6tivity different degrees of 
 merit and reputation. As the aftrologers range the fur)- 
 divifions of mankind under the planets which they fup- 
 pole to influence their lives, the moralift may diftribu-tc 
 them according to the virtues which they necerTarily 
 praclife, and confider them as diftinguifhed by prudence 
 or fortitude, diligence or patience. 
 
 4. So much are t.he modes of excellence fettled by 
 time and place, that men may be heard boafting in one 
 ftreet of that which they would anxioufly conceal in ano- 
 ther. The grounds of fcorn and efteem, the topics of 
 praife and fatire, are varied according to the feveral 
 virtues or vices which the courfe of our lives has difpof- 
 ed us to admire or abhor; but he who is iblicirous for 
 his own improvement, muft not fuffer his affairs to be 
 limited by local reputation, but felecl from every tribe 
 of mortals their cbara&eriftical virtues, and conftellate 
 in himfelf the Icattered graces which fliine fingle in o- 
 ther men. 
 
 '5. The chief praife to which a trader generally af- 
 pires is that of punctuality, or an exaft and rigorous ob- 
 fervance of commercial promifes and engagements; nor 
 is there any vice of which he fo much dreads the impu- 
 tation, as of negligence and inftability. This is a qua- 
 lity which the intereft of mankind requires to be cifFufed 
 through all the ranks of life, but which, however ufeful 
 and valuable, many feem content to want j it is confi- 
 dered as a vulgar and ignoble virtue, below the ambiti- 
 on of greatnefs or attention of wit, fcarcely requifite a- 
 mong men of gaiety and fpirit, and fold at its higheil 
 rate when it is facrificed to a frolic or a jeft. 
 
 6. Every man has daily occafion to remark what vex- 
 ations and inconveniences arife from this privilege of de- 
 ceiving
 
 58 THE GENTLEMAN AMD LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 ceiving one another. The active and vivacious have fo 
 long difdained the redraints of truth, that promifes and 
 appointments have loft their cogency, and both panics 
 neglecl their ftipulations, becaufe each concludes that 
 they will be broken by the other. 
 
 7. Negligence is firft admitted in trivial affairs, and 
 ftrengthened by petty indulgences. He that is not yet 
 hardened by cuftom, ventures not on the violation of 
 important engagements, but thinks himfelt" bound by 
 his word in cafes of property or danger, though he al- 
 lows himfelf to forget at what \iir,e he is to meet ladies 
 in the park, or ai what tavern his friends arc expecting 
 him. 
 
 8. This laxity of honour would be more tolerable, if 
 it could be retrained to the play-houfe, the ball-room, 
 or the card-table j yet even there it is fufficiently trou- 
 blefome, and darkens thofe moments with expectation, 
 fufpenfe, uncertainty and refentment, which are fet afide 
 for the fofter pleafures of life, and from which we natu- 
 rally hope for unmingled enjoyment, and total relaxati- 
 on. But he that fuffers the flighted breach in his mora- 
 lity, can feldom tell what fliall enter it, or how wide it 
 fhall be made ; when a paflage is opened, the influx of 
 corruption is every moment wearing down opposition, 
 and by flow degrees deluges the heart. 
 
 9. Aliger entered the world a youth of lively imagin- 
 ation, extenfive views, and untainted principles. His 
 curiofity incited him to range from place to place, and 
 try all the varieties of convocation ;. his eleg-ince of ad- 
 drels, and fertility of ideas, gained him friends wherever 
 he appeared ; or at leaft he found the general kindness 
 of- reception always fliewn to a young man whofe birth 
 and fortune gave him a claim to notice, and who has 
 neither by vice or folly dcftroyed his privileges. 
 
 10. Aliger
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C H t R*S ASSISTANT. $Q 
 
 10. Aliger was pleafed with this general fmile of man- 
 kind, and being naturally gentle and flexible, was induf- 
 trious to preferve it by compliance and officioufnefs, but 
 i!ki not fufr'er his,defire of pleafing to vitiate his integri- 
 ty. It was his eftabliftied maxim, that a promife is ne- 
 ver to be broken ; nor was it without long reluctance 
 that he once differed himfelf to be drawn away from a 
 feltal engagement by the importunity of another com- 
 pany. 
 
 1 1 . He fpent the evening, as is ufual, in the rudiments 
 of vice, with perturbation and imperfect enjoyment, and 
 met his difappointed friends in the morning, with confu- 
 fion and excufes. His companions not accuftomed to 
 fuch fcrupulous anxiety, laughed at his uneafinefs, com- 
 pounded the offence for a bottle, gave him courage to 
 break his word again, and again levied the penalty. 
 
 12. He ventured the fame experiment upon another 
 fociety, and found them equally ready to confider it as 
 a venial fault, always incident to a man of quicknefsand 
 gaiety ; till by degrees he began to think himfelf at li- 
 berty to follow ihe laft invitation, and was no longer 
 fhocked at the turpitude of falfehood. He made no dif- 
 ficulty to promife his prefence at diftant places, and if 
 liftleflhefs happened to creep upon him, would fit at 
 home with great tranquillity, and lias often, while he 
 funk to deep in a chair, held ten tables in continual ex- 
 pectation of his entrance. 
 
 13. He found itfo pleafant to live in perpetual vacancy, 
 that he foon difmified his attention as an ufelefs incutn- 
 berance, and refigned himfelf to careleflhefs and difiipa- 
 tion, without any regard to the future or the paft, or 
 any pther motive of action' than the impulfe of a fudden 
 defire, or the attraction of immediate pleafure. The 
 abfent were immediately forgotten, and the hopes or 
 
 fears
 
 60 THE GENTLEMAN AND L.\DY*S MOKITOR, 
 
 fears of others ha"d no influence upon his condufl. He 
 was in fpeculation completely juft, but never kept his 
 promife to a creditor ; he was benevolent, but always 
 deceived thofe friends whom he undertook to patronize 
 orafliil } he was prudent, but fufFered his affairs to be 
 ciiibarraired for want of fettling his accounts at flared 
 times. 
 
 14. He courted a young lady, and when the fettle- 
 ments were drawn, took a ramble into the country on 
 the day appointed to fign them. He refolved to travel, 
 ar,d fent his chefls on fliipboard, but delayed to follow 
 them till he loll his paflage. He was fummoned as an 
 evidence in a eaufe of great importance, and loitered in 
 the way till the trial was paft. It is faid, that when he 
 had with great expence formed an interefl: in a borough, 
 his opponent contrived by fome agents, who knew his 
 temper, to lure him away on the day of ele&ion. 
 
 15. His benevolence draws him into the commiflion 
 of a thouiand crimes, which others, ]efs kind or civil, 
 would efcape. His courtely invites application, his pro- 
 mifss produce dependence ; he has his pockets filled with 
 petitions, which he intends fometime to deliver and en- 
 force, and his table covered with letters of requeft, with 
 which he purpofesto comply; but time flips impercepti- 
 bly away, while he is either idle or bufy ; his friends 
 lofe their opportunities, and charge upon him their mif- 
 cariages and calamities. 
 
 This character, however contemptible, is not pecu- 
 liar to Aliger. 
 
 16. They whofe activity of imagination is often {Tuft- 
 ing the fcenes of expectation, are frequently fubjeft to 
 fuch fallies of caprice as make all their actions fortuitous, 
 dedfoy the value of their friendflaip, obilrucl the effica- 
 cy of their virtues, and fst them below the meaneft of 
 
 tbofe
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 6l 
 
 thofe that perfift in their refutations, execute what 
 they defign, and perform what they have promifed. 
 
 EXERCISE AND TEMPERANCE THE BEST 
 PRESERVATIVE OF HEALTH. 
 
 i . OODILY labour is of two kinds, either that which 
 a man fubaiits to for his livelihood, or that which he un- 
 dergoes for his pleafure. The latter of them generally 
 changes the name of labour for that of exeicife, but 
 differs only from ordinary labour as it rifes from another 
 motive. 
 
 A country life abounds in both ihefe kinds of labour, 
 and for that reafon gives a man a greater (tock of health, 
 and confequently a more perfect enjoyment of himfdf, 
 than any other way of life. 
 
 2. I confider the body as a fyftem of tubes and glands, 
 or to ufe a more ru (lie phrafe, a bundle of pipes and 
 fhainers, fitted to one another after fo wonderful a man- 
 ner, as to make a proper engine for the foul to work 
 with. This defcription does not only comprehend the 
 bowels, bones, tendons, veins, nerves, and arteries, 
 but every mufcle, and every ligature, which is a com- 
 pofuion of fibres, that are fo many imperceptible tubes 
 or pipes interwoven on all fides with invifible glands or 
 drainers. 
 
 3. This general idea of a human body, without coa- 
 fidering it in its niceties of anatomy, let us fee how ab- 
 folutely necefiary labour is for the right prefervation of 
 it. There muft be frequent motions and agitations, to 
 mix, digeft, and feparate the juices contained in it, as 
 well as to clear and cleanfe that infinitude of pipes and 
 
 G ftrainers
 
 6Z THE GENTLEMAN AND I, A UV's MO'NITOR, 
 
 ftra'ners of which it is conipofeJ, and to give theirfolid 
 parts a more firm ami farting tone. Labour or exercife 
 ferments the humours, caftsthem into thrir proper chan- 
 nels, throws of redundancies, and helps nature in thbfs 
 fecret diftributions, without which the body cannot fub- 
 Cll in its vigour, nor the foul ad with chearfulnefs. 
 
 4. 1 might here mention the effects, which this has 
 upon all the faculties of the mind, by keeping the un- 
 <lerftanding clear, the imagination untroubled, and re- 
 fining thole fpirits that are neceffary for the proper exer- 
 tion of our intellectual faculties, during the prefent laws 
 of union between foul and body. It is to a neglecl. in this 
 particular that we muft afcribe the fpleen, which is fo 
 frequent in men of (ludious and fedantary tempers, as 
 well as the vapours to which thofe of th other fox are 
 fo often fubjeft. 
 
 5. Had not exercife been abfolutely necefTary for our 
 well-being, nature would not have made the body fo 
 proper for it, by giving fuch an activity to the limbs, 
 and fuch a pliancy to every part, as neceffarily produce 
 thofc compreffions, extenflons, contortions, dilations, 
 and all other kinds of motions that are necellary for the 
 prefervation of fuch a fyftem of tubes and glands as has 
 been before-mentioned. And that we might not want 
 inducements to engage us in fuch an exercife of the bo- 
 dy as is proper for its welfare, it is fo ordered, that no- 
 thing valuable can be procured without it. Not to men- 
 tion riches and honour, even food and raiment are not 
 to be come at without the toil of the hands and fweatof 
 the brows. 
 
 6. Providence furnifhes materials, but expects that 
 we fhould work them up ourfelves. The earth mull be 
 laboured before it giAres its increafe, and when it is 
 forced into its feveral produces, how many hands muft 
 
 they
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 6j 
 
 they pafs through before they are fit for ufe ? Manufac- 
 tures, trade, and agriculture, naturally employ more 
 than nineteen parts of the fpecies in twenty ; and as for 
 thofe who are not obliged to labour, by the condition 
 in which they are born, they are more miferable than 
 the reft of mankind, unlefs they indulge themfelves in 
 that voluntary labour which goes by the name of exer- 
 cife. 
 
 7. My friend Sir Roger hath been an indefatigable 
 man in bufinefs of this kind, and has hung feveral parts 
 of his houfe with the trophies of his former labours. 
 The walls of his great hall are covered with the herns 
 of fever.il kinds of deer that he has killed in the chace, 
 which he thinks the moft valuable furniture of his houfe 
 as they afford him frequent topics of difcourfe, and flicw 
 that he has not been idle. 
 
 8. At the lower end of the hall, is a large otter's 
 {kin fluffed with hay, which his mother ordered to b 
 hung up in that manner, and the knight looks upon it 
 with great fatisfaflion, becaufe it fcen s he was but nine 
 years old when his dog killed him. A little room ad- 
 joining" to the hall is a kind of arfenal filled with guns of 
 ieveral fizes and invenlions, with which the knight has 
 made great havoc in the woods, and deftroyed many 
 thoufands of pheafants, patridges, and woodcocks. His 
 ftable-doors are patched with notes that belonged to the 
 foxes of, the knight's own hunting down. 
 
 9. Sir Roger {hewed me one of them, that for d if- 
 tinclion's fake, has a brats nail ftruck through it, which 
 
 ^.coll him about fifteen hours riding, carried him through 
 half a dozen counties, killed him a brace of geldings, 
 and loft above half his dogs. This the knight looks up- 
 on as one of the greateft exploits of his life. 
 
 10. The perverfe widow, whom I have given fome . 
 
 G 2 accounts
 
 64 THE GENTLEMAN' AND LADTf's MONITOR, 
 
 accounts of, was the death of feveral foxes ; for Sir 
 Roger has told me, that in the courfe of his amours he 
 patched the weftern door of his liable. Whenever the 
 widow was cruel, the foxes were fure to pay for it. In 
 proportion as his paffion for the widow abated and old 
 age came on, he left off fox-hunting; but a hare is not 
 yet fafe that fits within ten miles of his houfe. 
 
 1 1. There is no kind of exercife which I would fo 
 recommend to my readers of both fexes as this of riding, 
 as there is none which fo much conduces to health, anci 
 is every way accommodated to the body, 'according to 
 the idea which I have given of it. Do&or Sydenham is 
 tery lavi/li in its praifes ; and if the Englifti reader 
 will fee the mechanical effects of it defcribed at length, 
 he may find them in a book publifhed net many years 
 fince, under the title of MedicinaGymnaftka. 
 
 12. For my own part, when 1 am in town, for vrant 
 of thefe opportunities, 1 exercife uiyfelf an hour every 
 ir.orning upon a dumb bell that is placed in a corner of 
 my room, and pleafes me the more becaufe it does every 
 thing I require in the moft profound filcnce. My land- 
 lady and her daughters are fo well acquainted with my 
 hours of exercife, that they never come into my room 
 to diflurb me whilfl I am ringing. 
 
 13. When 1 was fome years younger than I am at 
 prefect, I ufed to employ inylelf in a more laborious 
 diverfion, which I learned from a Latin treatifo of exer- 
 eifes, that is written with great erudition : It is there 
 called the CKiouce^iei, or the fighting with a man's own 
 Riftdow, and conlifts in the brandiihing of two fliort 
 Hicks grafped in each hanJ, and loaded with plugs of 
 leJci at either end. This openy the cheft, exercifes the 
 limbs, and gives a man ail rhe plcafi. ; with- 
 out the blows. 
 
 14.
 
 AND ENGM5H TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 6$ 
 
 14. I could wiflt that fcvcral lenrned men would lay 
 out that time which they employ in controveifies and 
 clifputes about nothing; in this method of fighting with 
 their own fhadows. It might conduce very much to c- 
 vaporate the fplcen, which makes them unealy to the 
 public as well as to themfelves. 
 
 As I am a compound of foul and body, I cotiluier my* 
 felf as obliged to a double fcheme of duties ; and think 
 I have not fulfilled the bufinefs of the day, when 1 do 
 not thus employ the one in labour and exerciie, as we 1 
 as the ether in lludy and contemplation. 
 
 15. There is a ftoryinthe Arabian Nights Tales, of 
 a king who had long languished under an ill habit or' 
 body, and had taken abundance of remedies to no puv- 
 pofe. At length, fays the fable, a phyfician cured him 
 by the following method : he took an hollow ball of 
 wood, and filled it with feveral drugs; after which lie 
 clofed it up fo artificially that nothing apptared. He 
 likewife took a mall and after having hollowed the han- 
 dle, and that part which flrilc.es the bail, rnelpftd in them 
 fcveral drugs after the fame manner as in the ball it.'elf. 
 
 16. He then ordered the Sultan, who was his patient, 
 to exercife himfelf early in the morning with thefe right- 
 ly prepared inltruments, till fucli tiir.e as he ilio'i;Ki 
 fweat : when, as the (lory goes, the virtue of the me- 
 dicaments perfpiring through the v/ood, had fa good an 
 ir.ftuence on the fultan's conftituiion, that they cured 
 him of an indifpofition which at! the compofuions he had 
 taken inwardly had not been able to re.uovc. 
 
 17. This eailern allegory is finely contrived to fiievr 
 us how beneficial bodily labour is to health, and that ex- 
 ercile is the moil effectual phyfic. I have defcribed in- 
 my hundred and fifteenth paper, fron) the general (truc- 
 tureanJ.mechanifiu of an hutnaa bodv, how abfolutei/- 
 
 G j _r.tcc-iil-iy
 
 66 THE GENTLEMAN AND lADTf'i M H I T O 5 , 
 
 neceflary exercife is for its preferv^tion ; I fhal! in this 
 place recommend another great prefervative of health, 
 which in many cafes produces the fame eirecls as exer- 
 c;ib, and rray, in fome meafure, lupply its place, where 
 opportunities of exerciie are wr" 
 
 18. The prefervative I am fpeaking of is tetnperar.ee, 
 which has thofe particular advantages above all other 
 means of health, that it may be prattifed by all ranks 
 and conditions, at any feafon, ot in any place. It is a 
 kind of regimen into which every man may put himfelf, 
 without interruption to bufinefs, expence of money, or 
 lofs of time. Ifexercife throws offall fuperfluities, tem- 
 perance prevents them ; if exerclfe clears' the veflels, 
 temperance neither fatiates nor cverftrains them ; if ex- 
 ercifc raifes proper ferments in the humours, and pro- 
 motes the circulation of the blocd, temperance gives na- 
 ture her full play, and enables her to exert herfelf in all 
 her force and vigour ; if exercife diflSpates a growing 
 diftemper, temperance ftarves it. 
 
 iq. Phyfic, for the moft part, is nothing eife but the 
 fubftitute of exci'cife or temperance. Medicines are in- 
 deed abfolutely neceiTary in acute diftempers, that can- 
 not wait the flow operations of thefc two great inftru- 
 ments of health ; but did men live in an habitual courfe 
 of exercife and temperance, there would be but little 
 cccafion for them. Accordingly we find that thofe parts 
 of the world are the moft healthy, where they fubfiit by 
 the chace -, and that men lived longeft when their lives 
 were employed in hunting-and when they had little food 
 betides what they caught. 
 
 20. Bliftering, cupping, bleeding, are feldom of ufe 
 to any but to the idle and intemperate ; as all thofe in- 
 ward applications which are fo much in practife among 
 us, are, for the moft part, nothing elfe but expedients
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C II E R.'s ASSISTANT, 67 
 
 to make luxury confident with health. The apotheca- 
 ry is perpetually employed in co.untcrmining the cook 
 and the vintner. It is faid of Diogenes, that meeting 
 a young man who was going to a feaft, he took him up 
 in the ftreet, and carried him hoir.e to his friends, as one 
 \vho was running into imminent danger, had he not pre- 
 vented him. 
 
 si. What would that phiiofopl^er have faid, had he 
 been prefent at the gluttony of a modern meal ? Would 
 net he have thought the mailer of a family mad, and 
 have begged his fervant to tie down his hands, had he 
 feen him devour fowl, fifh, and fl-fli ; fwallow oil and 
 vinegar, wines, and fpices ; throw down fallads of twen- 
 ty different herbs, fauces of an hundred ingredients, con- 
 feftions, and fruits of numberlefs fweets and flavours. 
 What unnatural motions and counter-ferments mud fuch 
 a medley of intemperance produce in the body ? For 
 my part when I behold a fafhionable table fet out in all 
 its magnificence, 1 fancy, that I fee gouts and dropiies, 
 fevers and lethargies, with other innumerable diftem- 
 pers, lying in ainbufcade among the dimes, 
 
 22. Nature delights in the moll plain and (implediet. 
 Every animal, but man, keeps to one ciifh. Herbs are 
 the food of this fpecies, fifh of that, and flefli of a third. 
 Man falls upon every thing that comes in his way ; not 
 the fmalleft fruit or excrefcence of the earth, fcarce a 
 berry or a mulhroom, can efcape him. 
 
 It is impoffible to lay down any determinate. rule for 
 temperance, becaufe what is luxury in one may be tem- 
 perance in another ; but there are few that have lived 
 any time in the world, who are not judges of their own 
 conflitutions, fo far as to know what kinds and what pro- 
 portions of food do beft agree with them. 
 
 23. Were
 
 C8 THE GENTLEMAN AND T.. A D Y V M N I T "0 R , 
 
 23. Were I to confider my readers as my patients; 
 and to preicribe fuch a kind of tcnjperar.ee as is accom- 
 modated to all perfons, and fuch as is particularly iuita- 
 ble to our climate and way of living. I would copy the 
 following rules of a very eminent phyfician. Make your 
 whole repaftoutofonedifh. If you indulge in afecond, 
 avoid drinking any thing ftrong till you have finillic-J 
 your meal ; at the lame time abltain from ail faures, or 
 at leait fuch as are not the moft plain and fimple. 
 
 24. A man eoukl not be well guilty of gluttony, if he 
 ftuck to thefc few obvious and ealy rules. In the firft 
 cafe, there would be no variety of taftes to folicit his pa- 
 late, ant! occafion excels ; nor in the ftcond any artif;- 1 
 cial provocatives to relieve fatiety, and create a falfe ap- 
 petite. Were I to prefcribc a rule for drinking, it fliould 
 be formed upon a fay ing quoted by Sir William Temple; 
 The fir (I gluf* for myfelf, the fecund for my friends, the- 
 third for good humjiir, and the fourth for mine enemiet. 
 But becaufe it is impoffible for one who lives in the 
 world to diet himfelf always in fo philolophicaln manner, 
 I think every man fliould have his days of abitinence, 
 according as his condituuon will permit. 
 
 25. Thefe are great reliefs 10 r.ature, as they qualify 
 her for ftruggling with hunger and third, whenever 
 any difteinper or duty of life may put her upon fuch dif- 
 ficulties; and at the fame time give her an opportunity 
 of extricating herfelf from her oppreffions, and recover- 
 ing the fcveral tones and fprings of her diftended veflels. 
 Befides that, abftinence well-timed often kills a ficknefs 
 in embryo, and deltroys the firft feeds of an indifpofition. 
 
 26. It is obferved by two or three ancient authors,, 
 that Socrates, notvvithfbnding he lived in Athens du- 
 ring that great plague, which has made fo much noiie- 
 through all ages, -and has been celebrated at different 
 
 times
 
 AND ENGLISH TEA CHER'S ASSISTANT. 69 
 
 times by fuch eminent hands ; I fay, notwithstanding 
 that he lived in the time of this devouring peftilence, he 
 never caught the lealt infVction, which thofe writers 
 nanimoufiy afcribe to that uninterrupted temperance 
 which he always obferved. 
 
 27. And here I cannot but mention an obfervation 
 which I have often made, upon reading the lives of the 
 philofophers, and comparing them with any feries of 
 kings or great men of the fame number. If we confider 
 thefe ancient fagCs, a great part of whofe philofophy 
 ccnn"fted in a temperate and abftemious courfe of life, 
 one would think the life of a philofopher and the life of 
 a man were of two different dates. For we find that 
 the generality of thefe men were nearer a hundred thati 
 fixty years of age at the time of their refpe&ive deaths. 
 
 28. But the moft remarkable inftance of the efficacy 
 of. temperance towards the procuring of long life, is what 
 v e meet with in a little book publilhed by Lewis Corna- 
 ro, the Venetian ; which I the rather mention, becauie 
 it is of undotibted credit, as the late Venetian ambaffli- 
 dor, who was of the fame family, attefted mere than 
 once in converfation, when he rcfided in England. Cor- 
 naro, who was the author of the little treatife I am 
 mentioning, was of an.infirm conftitution, til! about for- 
 ty, when by obftinately perfifting in an exact courfe of 
 temperance, he recovered a perfect ftatc of health ; in- 
 fomuch that at fcurfcore he publiilicd his book, v\hich 
 has been tranflated into Englifh, under the title of Sure 
 and certain met/sods of attaining a long and healthy life. 
 
 29. He lived to give a third and fourth edition of it, 
 and after having pa fled his hundredth year, died without 
 pain or agony, and iike one v/ho falls afleep. The trea- 
 tife I mention has been taken notice of by feveral eminent 
 authors, .nnd is written with fuch a fpirit of chearfulnefs, 
 
 religion
 
 7O THE GENTLEMAN ANDLADY's MONITC-R, 
 
 religion and good fenfe, as are the natural concomitants 
 of temperance and fobriety. The mixture of the old 
 man in it is rather a recommendation than a difcredit to it* 
 
 THE DUTY OF SECRECY". 
 
 I.iT is related by Quintus Curtius, that the Perfians 
 always conceived a lading and invincible contempt of a 
 man, who had .violated the laws of fecrccy : for they 
 thought, that, however he might be deficient in the 
 qualities requifite to actual excellence, the negative vir- 
 tues at lead were always in his power, and .though he 
 perhaps could not fpeak well if he was to try, it was full 
 cafy for him not to fpeak. 
 
 2. In this opinion of the eafinefs of fecrecy, they feem 
 to have confidered it as oppofed, not to treachery, but 
 loquacity, and to have conceived the man, whom they 
 thuscenfured, not frighted by menaces to reveal, or brib- 
 ed by promifes to betray, but incited by the mere plea- 
 fure of talking, or fome other motive equally trivial, to 
 lay open his heart without reflection, and to let whate- 
 ver he knew flip from him, only for want of power to 
 retain it. 
 
 3. Whether, by their fettled and avowed fcorn of 
 thoughtlefs talkers, the Perfians were able to diffufe to 
 any great extent the virtue of taciturnity, we are hinder- 
 ed by the diftance of thofe times from being able to dif- 
 cover, there being very few memoirs remaining of the 
 coutt of Peifepolis, nor any diftinft accounts handed 
 down to us of their office^clerks, their ladies of the bed- 
 chamber, their attornics, their chamber-maids, or their 
 footmen.
 
 AND EN'GLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. Jl 
 
 4. In thcfe latter ages, though the old animofity a- 
 gainft a prattler is ftill retained, it appears wholly to 
 have loft its effects upon the conduct of mankind : for 
 fecrets are fo feldom kept, that it may with fome reafon 
 be doubted, whether the antients were not miflaken in 
 their firft poftulate x whether the quality of retention be 
 fo generally bellowed, and whether a fecret has not fome 
 fubtle volatility, by which it efcapes almoft impercepti- 
 bly at the fmallelt vent ; or fome power of fermentation, 
 by which it expands itfelf fo as to burft the heart that 
 will not give it way. 
 
 5. Thofe that ftudy either the body or the mind of 
 man, very often find the moft fpecious and pleafing the- 
 ory falling under the weight of contrary experience ; 
 and inflead of gratifying their vanity by inferring effe&s 
 from caufes, they are always reduced at laft to conjec- 
 ture caufes from effefts. That it iseafy to be fecret the 
 fpeculatift can dcmonftrate in his retreat, and therefore 
 thinks himfelf juftified in placing confidence ; the man 
 of the world knows, that whether difficult or not> it is 
 uncommon, and therefore finds himfeH rather inclined 
 to fcarch after the reafon of this univerfal failure in one 
 of the moft important duties of fociety. 
 
 6. The vanity of being known to betrufted with a fe- 
 cret is generally one of the chief motives to difclofe it; 
 for however abfurd it may be thought to boaft an honour 
 by an act that mews that it was conferred without me- 
 rit, yet moft men feem rather inclined to confefs the 
 want of virtue than of importance, and more willingly 
 {hew their influence and their power, though at the ex- 
 pence of their probity, than glide through life with no 
 other pleafure than the private confcioufnefs of fidelity; 
 which, while it is preferved, muft be without praife, 
 except from the fingle perfon who tries and knows it. 
 
 7. There
 
 72 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 7. There are many ways of telling a fecret, by which 
 a man exempts himfclf from the reproaches of his con- 
 fcience, and gratifies his pride without fuffering himfelf 
 to believe that he impairs his virtue. He tells the pri- 
 vate affairs of his patron, or his friend, only to thofe 
 from whom he would not conceal his own ; he tells them 
 to thofe, who have no temptation to betray their truft, 
 or with a denunciation of a certain forfeiture of his friend- 
 fhip, if he difcovers that they become public. 
 
 8. Secrets are very frequently told in the firil ardour 
 of kindnefs, or of love, for the fake of proving by fo im- 
 portant a Cacrifice, the finccrity of profefiions, or the 
 warmth of tendernefs ; but with this motive, though it 
 be fometimes ftrong in iti'elf, vanity generally concurs, 
 fince every man naturally dcfires to be moil efteemed by 
 thofe whom he loves, or with whom he converfee, with 
 whom he pafles his hours of pkafure, and to whom he re- 
 tires from bufinefs and from care. 
 
 9. When the difcovery of fecrets is under confiderati- 
 on, there is always a diflinction carefully to be made be- 
 tween our own and thofe of another, thofe of which we 
 are fully maflers as they afiect only our own intereft, and 
 thofe which are repofited with us In truft, and involve 
 the happinefs or convenience of fuch as we have no 
 fight to expofe to hazard by experiments upon their 
 lives, without their confent. To tell our own fecrets is 
 generally folly, but that folly is without guilt ; to com- 
 municate thofe with which we are entruiled is always 
 treachery, and treachery for the mod part combined 
 with folly. 
 
 10. There have, indeed, been fome enthufiaftic and 
 irrational zeslots for fricndfliip, who have maintained, 
 and perhaps believed, that one friend has a right to all 
 that ie in poffcffion of another j and that therefore it is a 
 
 viola-
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C H E R*S ASSISTANT. 73 
 
 violation of kindnefs to exempt any fecret from this 
 boundlefs confidence : Accordingly a late female mini- 
 fter of ftate has been fhamelefs enough to inform the 
 world, that ihe ufed, when fhe wanted to extract any 
 thing from her fovereign, to remind her of Montagne's 
 reafoning, who has determined, that to tell a fecret to a 
 friend is no breach of fidelity, becaufe the number of per- 
 fons trufted is not multiplied, a man and his friend being 
 virtually the fame. 
 
 11. That fuch a fallacy could be impofed upon any 
 human understanding, or that an author could have 
 been imagined to advance a pcfition fo remote from truth 
 and reafon, any otherwife than as a declaimer to fhew 
 to what extent he could ftretch his imagination, and with 
 what ftrength he could prefs his principle, would fcarce- 
 ly have been credible, had not this lady kindly fliew.i 
 us how far weaknefs may be deluded, or indolence a- 
 mufed. 
 
 12. But fince it appears, that even this fcphiftry has 
 been able, with the help of a ftrong defire to repofe in 
 quiet upon the underflanding of another, to miflead ho- 
 r.crt intentions, and an underftanding not contemptible, 
 it may not be fuperfluous to remark, that thofe things 
 which are common among friends are only fuch as either 
 poffefles in his own right, and can alienate or deftroy 
 without injury to any other perfon. Without this limi- 
 tation, confidence mull lua on without end, the tecond 
 perfon may tell the fecret to the third upon the fame 
 principle as he received it from the firft, and the third 
 may hand it forward to a fourth, till at laft it is told in 
 the round of friendfliip to them from whom it was the 
 fir It intention chiefly to conceal it. 
 
 13. The confidence which Caius has of the faithful- 
 nefs of Titius is nothing more than an opinion which
 
 74 THE GENTLEMAN - AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 himfelf cannot know to be true, and which Claudius, 
 v/ho firft tells his fecret to Caius, may know, at lead may 
 fufpedl to be falfe; and therefore the truft is transferred 
 by Caius, if he reveal what has been told him, to one 
 from whom the perfon originally concerned, would pro- 
 bably have withheld it ; and whatever may be the event, 
 Caius has hazaided the happinefs of his friend, without 
 neceflity and without permilfion, and has put that truft 
 in the hand ot fortune which was given only to virtue. 
 
 14. Ail the arguments upon which a man who is tel- 
 ling the private affairs of another may ground his confi- 
 dence in fecurity, he muft upon reflection know to be 
 uncertain, becaufe he finds them without effect upon 
 Limfelf. When he is imagining that Titius will be cau- 
 tious from a regard to his intereft, his reputation or his 
 duty, he ought to reflect that he is himfelf at that inftant, 
 acting in oppofition to all.thefe reafons, and revealing 
 whatintereft, reputation, and duty direct him to conceal. 
 
 15. Every one feels that he fhould confider the man 
 incapable of truft, who believed himfelf at liberty to tell 
 whatever he knew to the firft whom he fhould conclude 
 deferving of his confidence; therefore Caius, in admit- 
 ing Titius to the affairs imparted only to himfelf, violates 
 his faith, fince he acts contrary to the intention of Clau- 
 dius, to whom that faith was given. For promifes of 
 f'riendfliip are, like all others, ufelefs and vain, unlefs 
 they are made in fome known lenfe, adjufted and acknow- 
 ledged by both parties. 
 
 1 6. 1 am not ignorant that many queftions may be 
 darted relating to the duty of fecrecy, where the.affairs 
 are of public concern ; where fubfequent reafons may 
 arife to alter the appearance and nature of the truft ; 
 that the manner in which the fecret was told may change 
 the decree of obligation j and that the principles upon 
 
 which
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 75 
 
 which a man is choftn for a confident may not always 
 equally conftrain him. 
 
 17. But thefe fcruples, if not too intricate, arc of too 
 extenllve confideration for my prefent purpofe, nor are 
 they fuch 3.3 generally occur in common life ; and 
 though cafuiitica! knowledge be ufeful in proper hands, 
 yet it ought by no means to be carelefsly expofed, fince 
 nioft will ufe it rather to lull than awaken their own con- 
 fciences ; and the threads of reafbning, on which truth 
 is fufpended, are frequently drawn to fuch fubtility, that 
 common eyes cannot perceive, and common fenfibility 
 cannot feel them. 
 
 1 8. The whole doc"li ine as well as practice of fecre^r, 
 is to perplexing and dangerous, that, next to him wl-.u 
 is compelled to truft, I think him unhappy who is cho- 
 fen to be trufled ; for he is often involved in fcruples 
 without the liberty of calling in the help of any^ other 
 underftanding ; he is frequently" drawn into guilt, un- 
 der the appearance of friendfhip and honefty ; and fome- 
 tiir.es fubje&ed to fufpicion by the treachery of others, 
 who are engaged without his knowledge in the fame 
 fchemes ; for he that has one confident has- generally 
 more, and when he is at lail betrayed, is- in doubt on, 
 whom he fhali fix the crime. 
 
 19. The rules there/ore that I ffiall propofe concern- 
 ing fecrecy, and from which I think it not fafe to deviate, 
 without long and exat deliberation, are never tofoli- 
 cit the knowledge of a fecrer. Not willingly, nor with- 
 out many limitations, to accept fuch confidence when it 
 is offered. When a fecret is once admi'ted, to confider 
 the truft as of a very high nature, important to focie- 
 ty, and facred as truth, and therefore not to be violated 
 for any incidental convenience, or flight appearance of 
 contrary fitnefs. 
 
 H 2 OF
 
 76 THE CEKTLEMAN A K D L A D Y*S M 8 N ITO R, 
 
 ,1 
 
 OF CHEARFULNESS. 
 
 HAVE always preferred chearfulnefs to mirth. The 
 latter I confider as an aft, the former as a habit of the 
 mind. Mirth is fhort and transient, chearfulnefs fixed and 
 permanent. Thofe are often raifed into the greateft tranf- 
 ports of mirth, who are fubjed to the greateft depref- 
 fions of melancholy ; on the contrary, chearfulnefs, 
 though it does not give the mind fuch an exquifiteglad- 
 nefs, prevents us from falling into any depths of forrow. 
 Mirth is like a flafh of lightning that breaks through a 
 gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment $ chearful- 
 refs keeps up a kind of day-light in the mind, and fills it 
 v.-ith a fteady and perpetual ferenity. 
 
 2. Men of auftere principles look upon mirth as too 
 wanton and diflblute for a ftate of probation, and as fil- 
 led with a certain triumph and infblence of heart that is 
 inconfiftent with a life which is every moment obnoxious 
 to the greateft dangers. Writers of this complexion 
 have obferved, that the facred Perfon who was the great 
 pattern of perfection, was never feen to laugh. 
 
 3. Chearfulnefs of mind is not liable to any of thefe 
 exceptions; it is of a ferious and compofed nature; it 
 does not throw the mind into a condition improper for 
 the prefent ftate of humanity, and is very confpicuous 
 in the characters of thole who are looked upon as the 
 greateft philofophers among the heathens, as well as a- 
 inong thofe who have been defervedly efteemed as faints 
 and holy men among chriftians. 
 
 4. If we confider chearfulnefs in three lights, with 
 regird to ourielves, to tbofe we converfe with, and to 
 the great Author of our being, it will not a little recom- 
 mend
 
 AND ENGLISH T f A C H E R.'s ASSISTANT. .77 
 
 mend itfelf on each of thefe accounts. The man who is 
 poilefled of this excellent frame of mind, is not only ea- 
 iy in his thoughts, but a perfect mafter of all the pow- 
 ers and faculties of the foul ; his imagination is always 
 clear, and his judgment undifturbed ; his temper is even 
 and unruffled, whether in action or folaude ; he comes 
 with a reliili to all thofe goods which nature has provid- 
 ed for him, taftes all the pleasures of the creatiotrwhich 
 are poured about him, and does not feel the full weight 
 of thofe accidental evils which may befalhim. 
 
 5. If we confider him in relation to the perfons whom 
 he converles with, it naturally produces love and good- 
 vili towards him. A chearful mind is not only dilpofed 
 to be affable and obliging, but raifes.the fame good hu^ 
 niour in thofe who come within its influence. A man 
 finds himfclf pleafed, he docs not know why, with the 
 chearfulnefs of his companion. It is like afuddenJunfliine 
 that awakens a fecret delight in the mind, without her 
 attending to it. The heart rejoices of its own accord, 
 and naturally flows out into friendship and benevolence 
 towards the perfon who has fo kindly an effect upon it. 
 
 6. When I confider this chearful ftate cf mind in i;s 
 third relation, I cannot but look upon it as a conilanr 
 habitual gratitude to the great Author of nature. An in- 
 ward chearfulnefs is an implicit praife and thankfgiving' 
 to Providence uader all its difpenfations. It is a kind 
 of acquiefcence in the ftate wherein we are placed, and 
 a fecret approbation of the divine will in his conduct to- 
 wards man. 
 
 7. There are but two things, which, in my opinion, 
 can reafonably deprive us of this chearfulnefs of heart. 
 The firft of thefe is the fenfe of guilt. A man who lives- 
 in a ftate of vice and impenitence, can have no title to 
 that evennefs and tranquillity of mind which is the healtlh
 
 S THE GENTLEMAN AND L A DY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ct" the foul, and the natural effect of virtue and inno- 
 cence. Chearfulnefs in an ill man deferves a harder 
 name than language can furniili us with, and is many 
 degrees beyond what we commonly call folly or madncfs. 
 6. Atheifoi, by which I mean a di&elief of a Supreme 
 ;, and confequentiy of a future (late, under what- 
 fbever tide it flickers itfelf, inay likewife very reafona- 
 bly deprive a man of this chearfulnefs of temper. There 
 is fomething fo particularly gloomy and cffenfive to hu- 
 man nature in the profpefl of non-exiftence, that I can- 
 not but wonder with many excellent writers, how it is 
 poffible for a man to outlrve the expectation of it. For 
 niy own part, I think the being of a GOD is fo little 
 to be doubted, that it is almoft the only truth we are 
 iure of, and fuch a truth as we meet with in every ob- 
 jecl, in every occurrence, and in every thought. 
 
 o. If we look into the characters of this tribe of infi- 
 dels, we generally find they are made of pride, fpleen, 
 and cavil ; it is indeed no wonder, that men who are un- 
 eafy to themfelves, fhould be fo to the reft of the world ; 
 and how is it poffible for a man to be otherwife than un- 
 cafy in himfelf, who is in danger every moment of lofmg 
 his entire exiftence, and dropping into nothing ? 
 
 10. The vicious man and Atheift have therefore no 
 pretence to chearfulnefs, and would aft very unreafona- 
 bly, fhould they endeavour after it. It is impoflible for 
 any one to live in good humour, and enjoy his prefent 
 exiftence, who is apprehenfive either of torment or of 
 annihilation ; of being miferable, or of not being at all. 
 After having mentioned thefe two great principles, 
 which are deftruftive of chearfulnefs in their own na- 
 ture, as well as in right reafon, I cannot think of any 
 other that ought to banifh this happy temper from a 
 virtuous mind. Pain and ficknels, {hame and reproach, 
 
 poverty
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 79 
 
 poverty and old age, nay death itfelf, confidering the 
 jhortnefs of their duration, and the advantage we may 
 leap from them, do not deferve the name of evils. 
 
 1 1. A good mind may bear up under them with for- 
 titude, with indolence, and with chearfulnefs ef 1%-arr. 
 The toffing of a tempeft does not difcompofe him, which 
 he is fure will bring him to a joyful harbour. 
 
 A man who ufes his be(l endeavours to live according 
 to the dictates of virtue and right reafon, has two perpe- 
 tual fources of chearfulnefs, in the confideration of his 
 own nature, and of that Being on whom he has a de- 
 pendence. 
 
 12. If he looks into himfelf, he cannot but rejoice in 
 that exiftence, which is fo lately beftowed upon him, and 
 which, after millions of ages, will be ftill new, and (till 
 in its beginning. How many fe!f-congratulations natu- 
 rally arife in the mind, when it reflects on this its entrance 
 into eternity, when it takes a view of thofe improvable 
 faculties, which in a few years, and even at its firft let- 
 ting out, Ijavemadefoconfiderableaprogrefs, and which 
 will be ftill receiving an increafe of perfection, and con- 
 fequently an increafe of happinefs ? 
 
 13. The confcioufnefs of fuch a being fpreadsa per- 
 petual diffufion of joy through the foul of a virtuous 
 man, and makes him look upon himfelf every moment as 
 more happy than he knows how to conceive. 
 
 The fecond fource of chearfulnefs to a good mind, 
 is, its confideration of that Being on whom we have our 
 dependence, and in whom though we behold him as yet 
 but in the firft faint difcoveries of his perfections, we fee 
 every thing that we can imagine as great, glorious, or 
 amiable. We find ourfelves every where upheld by his 
 goodnefs, and furrounded by an immenfity of love and 
 mercy. 
 
 14. In
 
 30 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 14. In fhort, we depend upon a Being, whofe power 
 qualifies him to make us happy by an infinity of means, 
 whofe goodnefsand truth engage him to make thofe hap. 
 py who defire it of him, and whofe unchangeablenefs 
 \vil- fecure us in this happinefs to all eternity. 
 
 Such confiderations, which every one fhould perpetu- 
 ally cheriflv in his thoughts, will banifli from us all that 
 iecret l>eavinefsof heart which unthinking men are fub- 
 jel to when they lie under no real afHIftion, all that an- 
 guifh which we may feel from any evil that actually op- 
 preffes us, to which ! may like wife add thofe little crack- 
 lings of mirth and- folly, that are aptcr to betray virtue 
 than fupportit; and eftablifli in us fuch an even and 
 chearful temper, as makes us pleafing to ourfelves, 13 
 thofe with whom we converle, and to trim whom \vc 
 are made to pleafe. 
 
 ON THE ADVANTAGES OF A CHEARFUL 
 TEMPER. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO. 387. 
 
 i. CHEARFULNESS is, in the firft place, the beS 
 promoter of health. Repining and fecret murmurs of 
 heart give imperceptible ftrokes to thofe delicate fibres 
 of which the vital parts are compofed, and wear out the 
 machine infenfibly ; not to mention thofe violent fer- 
 ments which they ftir up in the blood, and thofe irregu- 
 lar didurbed motions, which they raife in the animal 
 fpirits. 
 
 2. I fcarce remember, in my own obfervation, to have 
 met with many old men, or with fuch, who (to ufe our 
 Englifli phrafe) war well, that had not at leaft a certain 
 
 indo-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACH E R f S ASSISTANT. Si 
 
 indolence in their humour, if not a more than ordinary 
 gaiety and chearfulnefs of heart. The truth of it is, 
 health and chearfulnefs mutually beget each other ; with 
 this difference, tiiat we feldom meet with a great degree 
 of health which is not attended with a certain chearfu!- 
 nefs, but very often fee chearfulnefs where there is no 
 greater degree of health. 
 
 3. Chearfulnefs bears the fame friendly regard to the 
 mind as to the body ; it banifhes all anxious care ami 
 jifcontent, foothes and compefes the pafllons, and keeps 
 the foul in a perpetual calm. But having already touch- 
 ed oa this laft confuleration, I fliall here take notice, 
 that the world, in which we are placed, is filled with 
 innumerable objects that are proper to raife and keep 
 alive this happy temper of mind. 
 
 4. If we confider the world in its fubferviency to 
 man, one would think it was made for our ufe ; but if 
 \ve confider it in its natural beauty and harmony, one 
 would be apt to conlude it was made for our pleafure. 
 The fun, which is as the great foul of the univerfe, and 
 produces all the neceflaries of life, has a particular influ- 
 ence in cheating the mind of man, and making the 
 heart glad. 
 
 5. Thofe feveraHivi^g creatures which are made for 
 our fervice or fuftenance, at the fame time either fill the 
 wdods with their mufic, furnifh us with game, or raife 
 pleafing ideas in us by the delightfulnefs of their appear- 
 ance. Fountains, lakes, and rivers, are as refreshing 
 to the imagination, as to the foil through which they 
 pafs. 
 
 6. There are writers of great diflindlion, who have 
 made it an argument ' for Providence, that the whole 
 earth is covered with green, rather than with any other 
 colour, as being luch a right mixture of light and fliade, 
 
 that
 
 8z THE GENTLEMAN ANPEADV's MONITOR, 
 
 that it comforts and ftrengthens the eye inftead of weak- 
 ening or grieving it. For this reafon, fevernl painters 
 have a green cloth hanging near them, to eafe the eye 
 upon, after too great an application to their colouring. 
 
 7. A famous modern philofopher accounts for it in 
 the following manner: all colours that are more lumin- 
 ous, overpower and diffipate the animal fpirits which are 
 employed in fight; on the contrary, thole that are more 
 obfcure do not give the animal fpirits a fufficient exercife ; 
 whereas the rays that produce in us the idea of green, 
 fall upon the eye in fuch a due proportion, that they 
 give the animal fpirits their proper play, and, by keep- 
 ing up the druggie in a juft balance, excite a very plea- 
 fing and agreeable fenfation. Let the caufe be what it 
 will, the effel is certain; for which reafon, the poets 
 afcribe to this particular colour the epithet of chearful. 
 
 8. To confider further this double end in the works 
 of nature, and how they are, at the fame time, both 
 ufeful and entertaining, we find that the moft important 
 parts in the vegetable world are thofe which are the moft 
 beautiful : thefe are the feeds by which the feveral races 
 of plants are propagated and continued, and which are 
 always lodged in flowers or bloffbms. Nature feems to 
 hide her principal defign, and to be indufirious in mak- 
 ing the earth gay and delightful, while fhe is carrying 
 on her great work, and intent upon her own preferva- 
 tion. The hufbandman, after the fame manner, is em- 
 ployed in laying out the whole country into a kind of 
 garden or landflcip, ar.d making every thing fmile about 
 liiiij, whilll in reality, he thinks of nothing but of the 
 harveft and increafe which is to arife from it. 
 
 9. We may further obferve, how Providence has ta- 
 ken care to keep up this chearfulnefs in the mind of man, 
 by having formed it after fuch a manner as to make it 
 
 capable
 
 fcND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 83 
 
 capable of conceiving delight from feveral objects which 
 feein to have very little ufe in them ; as from the wild- 
 nefs of rocks and defarts, an'd the like grotefque parts 
 of nature. Thofe who are verfed in philolophy may tlill 
 carry this confideration higher by obferving that, if mat- 
 ter had appeared to us endowed only with thofe real 
 qualities which it actually pofiefTes, it would have made 
 but a very joylefs and uncomfortable figure ; and why 
 has Providence given it a power of producing in us fuch 
 imaginary qualities as taftes and colours, founds and 
 fmells, heat and cold, but that man, while he is con- 
 verfant in the lower ftations of nature, might have his 
 mind cheared and delighted with agreeable fenfations ? 
 In Ihort, the whole univerfe is a kind of theatre filled 
 with objects that either raife in us pleafure, amu femem, 
 or admiration. 
 
 10. The reader's own thoughts will fuggeft to him the 
 vicifiitude of day and night, the change of feafons, with 
 all that variety of fcenes which diverfify the face of na- 
 ture, and fill the mind with a perpetual fucceffion of 
 beautiful and pleafing images. 
 
 I fliall not here mention the feveral entertainments of 
 art, with the pleafures of friendfhip, books, converfa- 
 tion, and other accidental diverfions of life, becaufe I 
 would only take notice of fuch incitements to a chearful 
 temper, as offer themfelves to perfons of all ranks and 
 conditions, and which may fufEciently fliew us, that 
 Providence did not defign this world fliould be filled with 
 murmurs and repinings, or that the heart of man fhould 
 be involved in gloom and melancholy. 
 
 ii. I .the more inculcate this chearfulnefs of temper, 
 as it is a virtue in which our countrymen are obferved to 
 be more deficient than any other nation. Melancholy 
 is a kind of demon that haunts our ifland, and often con- 
 veys
 
 84 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 veys herfelf to us in an eafteriy wind. A celebrated 
 French novelift, in oppofuion to thofe who begin their 
 romances with a flowery feafon of the year, enters on his 
 ftory thus: In the glwmy nnnth of November, ivben the 
 people of England hang and droivn themjel>ves t a. difconfo- 
 late lover 'walked out ii.to tie fields, &c. 
 
 12. Every one ought to fence againft the temper of 
 Ms climate cr conftitution, and frequently to indulge in 
 hiinfelf thofe confiderations which u:ay give him a fe- 
 renity of mind, and enable him to bear upchearfully a- 
 gainft thofe little eviis and misfortunes which are com- 
 mon to human nature, and which, by a right improve- 
 ment of them, will produce a fatiety of joy, and an un- 
 interrupted happinefs. 
 
 13. At the fame time that I would engage my reader 
 to confider the world in its mod agreeable lights, I muft 
 own there are many evils which naturally fpring up a- 
 midft the entertainments that are provided for us; but 
 thefe, if rightly confidered, fliould be far from overcatl- 
 ing the mind with ibrrov.-, or deftroying that chearful- 
 nefs of temper which I have been recommending. 
 
 14. This interfperfion of evil with good, and pain with 
 pleafure, in the works of nature, is very truly afcribed 
 by Mr. Locke, in his EiTay upon Human Underfianding, 
 to a moral reafon, in the following words : 
 
 Beyond all this, \ve may find another reafon why 
 God hasfcattered up and down fevcral degrees of plea- 
 fure and pain, in all the things that environ and affet 
 us, and blended them together, in almoft all that cur 
 thoughts and fenfes have to do with ; that we finding 
 imperfection, difTatisfaclion, and want of complete happi- 
 nefs in all the enjoyments which the creatures can afford 
 us, might be led to leek it in the enjoyment of him, with 
 . whom there is fulnefs of joy, and at wbofe right hand 
 are plealures for evermore. WS-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER.'s ASSIJTANT. 8$ 
 
 mmMWDMMOM 
 
 "~ ~" ' 
 
 DISCRETION. 
 
 I.I HAVE often thought if the minds of men were 
 laid open, we fhould fee but little difference between 
 that of the wife man and that of the fool. There are 
 infinite reveries, numberlefs extravagancies, and a per- 
 petual train of vanities, which pafs through both. The 
 g;reat difference is, that the fuft knows how to pick and 
 cull his thoughts for converfation, by fupprefiing fome, 
 and communicating others ; whereas the other Jets them 
 all indifferently fly out in words. This fort of difcre- 
 tion, however, has no place in private converfation be- 
 tween intimate friends. On fuch occafions the wifeft 
 men very often talk like the weaksft ; for indeed the 
 talking with a friend is nothing elfe but thinking aloud. 
 2. Tully has therefore very juilly expofed'a precept 
 delivered by fome antient writers, that a man ihould, 
 live with his enemy in fuch a manner, as might leave 
 him room to become his friend; and with his friend in 
 fuch a manner, that if he became his enemy, it iliould 
 not be in his power to hurt him. The firft part of this 
 rule, which regards our behaviour towards an enemy, is 
 indeed very reafonable, as well as prudential ; but the 
 latter part of it, which regards our behaviour towards 
 a friend, favours more of cunning than of difcretion, and 
 would cut a man off from the greateft pleafures of life, 
 which are the freedoms of converfation with a botbm 
 friend. Befides, that when a friend is turned into an ene- 
 my, and (as the fon 'of Sirach calls him) a betrayer of 
 fecrets, the world is jult enough to accufe the perfidiouf- 
 nels of the friend, rather than the indifcrecion of the 
 perfon who confided in him. 
 
 i . Difcre-
 
 86 THE GENTLEMAN ANT) I.ADY's MONITOR, 
 
 3. Difcretion does not only ihew ilfelf in words, but 
 in all the circumtiances of aftion, and is like an under- 
 agent of Providence, to guide and direft us in the ordi- 
 nary concerns of life. 
 
 There are many more fliining qualities in the mind of 
 iv.an, but there is none fo ufeful as dilcretion ; it is this 
 indeed which gives a value to all .the relt, which lets 
 them at work in their proper limes and places, and turns 
 them to the advantage of the pedbn who is polleiTed of 
 them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit imper- 
 tinence ; virtue itfdf looks like weaknds ; the bed parts 
 only qualify a man to be more fprightly in errors, ar.d 
 active to his own prejudice. 
 
 4. Nor does difcretion only make a man the mailer 
 of his own p^rts, but of other men's. The difcreet man 
 finds out the talents of thole heconverfes with, and knows 
 how to apply them to proper ults. Accordingly, it we 
 look into particular communities and divilions of men, 
 we may obferve, that it is thedilcreet man, not the uit- 
 ty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the con- 
 verfation, and gives meafures to the iociety. A man 
 with great talents, but void of dilcretion, is like Poly- 
 phemus in the fabie, ftrong and Wind, endued with an 
 irrefiftable force, which for want of fight is of no ufe to 
 .him. 
 
 5. Though a man has all other pel fe&ions, and wants 
 difcretion, he will be of no great conlequence in the 
 world ; but if he has this fmgle talent in perfection, and 
 but a common fliare of others, he may do what he plea- 
 fes in his ftatiun of life. 
 
 At the fame time that I think dllcjuion the mod ule- 
 ful talent a man can be mailer of, I look upon cunning 
 to be the accomplifhment of little, mean, ungenerous 
 Blinds. Difcretion points out the nobleft ends to us, and 
 
 purfues
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER 's ASSISTANT. 87 
 
 purfues the nioft proper and laudable methods of attain- 
 ing them. Cunning has only private felfifli aims, and 
 flicks at nothing which may make them fucceed. 
 
 6. Difcretion has large and extended views, and,, 
 like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon. 
 Cunning is a kind of fliort-fightednefs, that tiifcover* the 
 ininuteft cbjecls which are near at band, but is not able 
 to dilcern things at a diftance. Difcretion, the more it 
 is difcovered, gives a greater authority to the perfon 
 who poflefTes it. Cunning, when it is once detected, 
 loies its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing 
 about even .thole events which he might have done, had 
 he pafl'ed only for a plain man. Difcretion is the perfec- 
 tion of reafon, and a guide to us in all the duties of life. 
 Cunning is a kind of inftincl, that only looks out after 
 our immediate intereft and welfare. 
 
 7. Difcretion is only found in men of ftrong fenfe and 
 good understandings. Cunning is often to be met with 
 in brutes themfelves, and in perfons who are but the 
 feveft removes from them. In fliort, cunning is only 
 the mimic of difcretion, and may pafs upon weak men, 
 in the fame manner as vivacity is often miftaken for witj 
 and gravity for wifdom. 
 
 The caft of mind which is natural to a difcreet man,, 
 makes him look forward into futurity, and confider what 
 will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as 
 what it is at prefent. 
 
 8. He knows tlv.it the mifery or happinefs which are 
 referved for him in another world, lofe nothing of their 
 reality by being placed at fo great a diftance from him. 
 The objects do not appear little to him becaufe they are 
 remote. He confideis that thofe pleafures and pains 
 which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every 
 moment, and wiliW' prefent with him in their full weight 
 
 I z and
 
 88 THE GENTLEMAN ANDLADY's MONITOR, 
 
 and meafure, as much as thofe pains and pleafures which 
 he feels at this very inftant. For this reafon he is care- 
 ful to fecure to himfelf that which is the proper happi- 
 nefs of his nature, and the ultimate defign of his being,'' 
 q. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, 
 nnd confiders the moft diftant as well as the moft imme- 
 diate effects of it. He fuperfedes every little profpect 
 of gain and advantage which offers itfelf here, if he 
 does not find it confident with his views of an hereafter. 
 In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his fchemes 
 are large and glorious, and his conduct fuitable to one 
 who knows his true interett, and how to puifue it by 
 proper methods. 
 
 10. I have in this efliiy upon difcretion, conuVercd it 
 both as an accompliflimcnt and as a virtue, and have 
 therefore defcribed it in its full extent ; not only as it is 
 converfant about worldly affairs, but as it regards our 
 whole exiftence ; not only as it is the guide of a mortal 
 creature, but as if is in general the director of a reafonabte 
 being. It is in this light that a difcretion is reprefented 
 by the wife man, who fometimes mentions it under the 
 name of difcretion, and fometimes under that of wifdom. 
 
 11. It is indeed (as defcribed in the latter part of this 
 paper) the greateft wifdom, but at the fame tisr.e in the 
 power of every one to attain. Its advantages are infinite, 
 but its acquii'ition eafy ; or, to fpeak of her in the words 
 f.f the apocryphal writer ; " Wifdom is glorious, and 
 never facicth away, yet flie is eafily feen of them that 
 Jovt ''cr, and found of fuch as leek her." 
 
 12. " She preventeth them that defire her, in making 
 hcrtelf firft known onto them. He that feeketh her 
 early fluli have no great TRVCI ; for he flia!! find her 
 fitting nt V's doors. To think therefore upon her is per- 
 
 , fection of wifdom, and \\hofo wztchetb for her, iliall 
 
 quickly
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 89 
 
 quickly be without care. For ihe goeth about fecking 
 iuch as are worthy of her, fheweth herfelf favourably 
 unto them in the ways, and meeteth them in every 
 thought." 
 
 PRIDE. 
 
 i. JL HERE is no paflion which fteals into the heart- 
 more imperceptibly, and covers i'Jelf under more dif- 
 guifes, than pride. For my own part, I think if there 
 is any pailion or vice which I am wholly a ftranger to, 
 it is this ; though at ihe fame time, pei haps this very 
 judgment which I formof mjfelf, proceeds infome rcea- 
 fure, from this corrupt principle. 
 
 2. I have been always wonderfully delighted wkh 
 that lenience in holy writ, Piiete IL-US not made for ;/v;;. 
 There is not indeed any fingle view of human nit<:rc 
 under its prefent condition, which is net fufikient to ex- 
 tinguifli in us all the fecrct feeds cf pride j and on .the" 
 contrary, to fink the foul into the lowettftateof humility, 
 and what the fchool-men call ft It- annihilation. Pride 
 was not made for man, as be is, 
 
 2. An ignorant, 
 
 3. A milerable being. 
 
 There is nothing in his undenlanding, in his will-, or 
 in his prefent condition, that can tempt any confiderate 
 creature to pride or vanity. 
 
 3. Thefe three very reafons why he fliould not be 
 proud, are, notwithilanding, the reafons why he is fo.. 
 Were not he a tinful creature, he would not be fubject 
 :o 9 paffion which riles from the depravity of his nature; 
 
 i 3 were
 
 90 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 were he not an ignorant creature, he would fee that he 
 has nothing to be proud of; and were not the whole 
 ipecies miferable, he would not have thofe wretched ob- 
 jecls before his eyes, which are the occafions of this paf- 
 iion, and which make one man value himfelf more than 
 another. 
 
 4. A wife man will be contented that his glory be 
 deferred till fuch time as he fhall be truly glorified j 
 when his understanding ihall be cleared, his will rectifi- 
 ed, and his happinefs aflured ; or in other words, when 
 he fhall be neither finful, nor ignorant, nor miferable. 
 
 5. If there be any thing which makes human nature 
 appear ridiculous to beings of fuperior faculties, it liiutt 
 be pride. They know fo well the vanity of thofe ima- 
 ginary perfections that fwell the heart of man, and of 
 thofe little fupernumerary advantages, whether in birth, 
 foitune, or title, which one man enjoys above another, 
 that it muft certainly very much aftonirti, if it does not 
 very much divert them, when they fee a mortal puffed 
 up, and valuing himfelf above his neighbours on any of 
 thefe accounts, at the fame time that he is obnoxious to 
 all the common calamities of the fpecies. 
 
 6. To fet this thought in its true light, we will fancy, 
 if you pleafe, that yonder mole-hill is inhabited by rea- 
 lonable creatures, and that every pifmire (his fliapeand 
 way of life only excepted) is endowed with human paf- 
 Cons. How fHould we fmile to hear one give us an ac- 
 count of the pedigrees, diftinftions, and titles that reign 
 among them ! 
 
 7. Obferve how the whole fwarm divide and make 
 way for the pifmire that pafles through them! You muft 
 underftand he is an emmet of quality, and has better 
 blood in his veins than any pifmire in the mole-hill. 
 Don'tyou fee how fenfible be is of it, how flow he marches 
 
 forward,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. QI 
 
 forward, how the whole rabble of ants keep their diftance? 
 
 8. Here you may ebferve ore placed upon a little 
 eminence, and looking down on a long row of labour- 
 ers. He is the richett infedl on this fide the hillock, 
 he has a walk of half a yard in length, and a quarter of 
 an inch in breadth, he keeps an hundred menial fervants, 
 and has, at lead, fifteen barley-corns in his granary. 
 He is now chiding and beflaving the emmet that ftands 
 before him, and who, for all that we can difcover; is 
 as good an emmet as himfelf. 
 
 9. Bu! here comes an infect of figure ! Dcn't you take 
 notice of a little w hite flraw that he carries in his mouth ? 
 That flraw, you muft underftand, he would not part 
 \vith for thelongeft traft about the mole-hill. Did you 
 but know what he has. undergone to purchafe it ! See 
 how the ants of all qualities and conditions fwarm about 
 him. Should this ftraw drop out of his mouth, you " 
 would fee all this numerous circle of attendants follow 
 the next that took it up, and leave the difcarded infeft, 
 or run over his back to come at his fucceflbr. 
 
 10. If now you have a mind to fee all the ladies of 
 the mole-hill, obferve firft the pifmire that liftens to the 
 emmet on her left hand, at the fame time that flie leems 
 to turn away her head from him. He tells this poor 
 infect that flie is a goddefs, that her eyes are brighter 
 than the fun, that life and death are at her difpofal. 
 She believes him, and gives herfelf a thoufand little airs 
 upon it. 
 
 1 1. Mark the vanity of the pifmire on your left hand; 
 She can fcarce crawl with a*ge ; but you muft know flie 
 values herfelf upon her birth ; and if you mind, fpurns 
 at every one that comes within her reach. The little 
 nimble coquette that is running along by the fide of her, 
 is a wit. She has broke many a pifinire's heart. Do but 
 
 obferve
 
 gZ T H Z GENTLEMAN AND L A D Y*S M ?? t T " , 
 
 obferve what a drove of lovers are running after her. 
 12. We will here finifh this imaginary fcene ; but 
 firft of all to draw the parallel clofer, will fuppofe, if you 
 p'eafe, that death conies down upon the mole-hill, in 
 the ihape of a cock-fparrow, who picks up, without dif- 
 tincYion,. the pifmire of quality and his flatterers, the pif- 
 mire of lubftanceand his day-labourers, the white-ftraw- 
 oflicer and his fycophants, with all the goddefles, wits, 
 and beauties cf the mole-hill. 
 
 13. May we not imagine that, beings of fuperior r.e 
 tures and peifections, regard all the inftances of pride 
 and vanity, among cur ov-n fpecies, in the fame kind of 
 view, when they take a turvey of thofe who inhabit the 
 earth ; or in the language of an ingenious French poet,, 
 of thofe pi fm ires that people this heap of dirt, which hu- 
 man vanity has divided into climates and regions ? 
 
 GUARDIAN, V L. J I. N O. I 53. 
 
 DRUNKENNESS. 
 
 I. JN O vices are ib incurable as thofe which men are 
 apt to glory in'. One would wonder how drunkennefs 
 flioul'd have the good luck to be of this number. Ana- 
 chaifis, being invited to a match of drinking at Corinth, 
 demanded the prixe very humouroufly, becaufe he was 
 drunk before any of the reft of the company ; for (ays he, 
 when we run a race, he who arrives at the goal nrft, 
 is entitled to the reward. 
 
 i. On the contrary, in this thirRy generation, the ho- 
 nour falls upon him who carries off the greater! quantity 
 cf liquor, and knocks down the reft of the company. I 
 was the other day with hondt Will Funnel!, the Weft- 
 
 Scxon,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 93 
 
 Sexon, who was reckoning up how much liquor had 
 pa(t through him in the laft twenty years of his life, 
 which, according to his computation, amounted to twen- 
 ty-three hogfhetuls of Oftober, four ton of port, bait a 
 kildeikin of fmall beer, nineteen barrels of cyder, and 
 three glalfes of champagne ; befides which, he had af- 
 fitted ut four hundred bowls of punch, not to mention 
 fips, drams, and whets without number. 
 
 3. Iqueftion not but every reader's memory will fug- 
 geft to him feveral ambitious young men, who are as 
 vain in this particular as Will Funnel!, and can boaft of 
 as glorious exploits. 
 
 Our modern philofophers obferve, that there is a gen- 
 eral decay of moifture in the globe of the earth. T.';:s 
 they chiefly afcribe to the growth of vegetables, which 
 incorporate into their own fubftance many fluid bodies 
 that never return again to their former nature. 
 
 4. But with fubmiffion, they ought to throw into their 
 account, thole innumerable rational beings which fetch 
 their nourifriment chiefly out of liquids; efpecially when 
 we confider that men, compared with their fellow-crea- 
 tures, drink much more than comes to their fhare. 
 
 5. But however highly this tribe of people may think 
 of themfelves, a drunken man is a greater monfter than 
 any that is to be found among all the creatures which 
 God has made; as indeed there is no character which 
 appears more defpicable and deformed, in the eyes of 
 all realbnable perfons, than that of a drunkard. 
 
 6. Bonofus, one of our own countrymen, who was 
 addicted to this vice, having let up for a ihare in the 
 Roman empire, and being defeated in a great battle, 
 hanged himfelf. When he was feen by the army in this 
 melancholy fituation, notwithftanding he had behaved 
 himfelf very bravely, the common jell was, tha.t the 
 
 thing
 
 p4 THE 6ENTLEMAN' AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 thing they faw hanging upon the tree before them, 
 was not a man but a bottle. 
 
 7. This vice has very fatal effects on the mir.d, the 
 body and fortune of the perfon who is devoted to it. 
 
 In regard to the mind, i: firft of all difcovers every 
 flaw in it. The fober man, by the ftrength of reafoa, 
 may keep under and fubdue every vice or folly to which 
 he is mod inclined ; but wine makes every latent feed 
 fprout up in the foul, and (hew itfelf ; i: give& fury to 
 the pafliona, and force to thofe objects which are apt 
 to produce them. 
 
 8. When a young fellow complained to an old philo- 
 fopher that his wife was not handibme, put lefs water 
 in your wine, fays the philofopher, and you'll quickly 
 make her fo. Wine heightens indifference into love, 
 love into jealoufy, andjealoufy into madnefs. It often 
 turns the good-natured man into an ideot, and the cho- 
 leric into an aflaffin. It gives bitternefs to refentment, 
 it makes vanity infupportable, and difplays every little 
 fpot of the foul in its utmofl deformity. 
 
 9. Nor does this vice only betray the hidde^ faults 
 of man, and fhew them in the mod odious colours, but 
 often occafions faults to which he is not naturally fub- 
 je&. There is more of turn than of truth in a faying 
 of Seneca, that drunkennefs does not produce, but dif- 
 cover faults. Common experience teaches the contrary. 
 
 10. Wine throws a man out of himfelf, and infufes 
 qualities into the mind, which (he is a ftranger to in her 
 fober moments. The perfon you converfe with, after 
 the third bottle, is not the fame man who at firft fat 
 down at table with you. Upon this maxim is founded 
 one of the prettied fay ings I ever met with, which is in- 
 fcribed to Publius Cyrus, He who jejls upon a man that if 
 drunk) Injures the abfent. 
 
 ii. Thu*
 
 A N D E \* C L 1 S H T E A C M E R S ASSISTANT. 95 
 
 II. Thus does drunkcnnefs al in direct cotradiction 
 to rcafon, whofe bufmefs it is to clear the mind of every 
 vice which is crept into it, and to guard it againfl. all 
 the approaches of any that endeavour to make its en- 
 trance. But befides thefe ill effefls which this vice pro- 
 duces in the perfon who is actually under its dominion, 
 it has alfo a bad influence on the mind, even in its fo- 
 ber moments, as it infenfibly wakens the underRanuing, 
 impairs the memory, and makes thofe faults habitual 
 which are produced by frequent excefles. It waltes the 
 eftate, banifhes reputation, confumes the body, and 
 renders a man of the bnghted parts the common jctt of 
 an infignificant clown. 
 
 12. A method of fpcnding one's time agreeably is a 
 thing fo little ftudied, that the common amufement of 
 our young gentlemen (cfpecially of fuch as are at a dif- 
 tcince from thofe of the firll breeding) is drinking. This 
 way of entertainment has cutloin on its fide ; but as 
 much as it has prevailed, t believe there have been veiy 
 few companies that have been guilty of excefs this way, 
 where there have not happened more accidents which 
 make againfl, than for the continuance of it. 
 
 13. It is very common that events arife from a de- 
 bauch which arc fatal and always fuch as are difagreea- 
 ble. With all a man's reafon and good fenfe about him, 
 -his tongue is apt to utter things out of mere gaiety of 
 heart, which may difpleafe his beft friends. Who then 
 would truft. himfelfto the power of wine, without fay- 
 ing more againft it than, that it raife^ the imagination 
 and deprefies the judgment ? 
 
 14. Were there only th : s fmgle confideration, that 
 we are lefs mailers of ourfelves when we drink in the 
 lead proportion above the exigencies of thirft ; I fay, 
 were this all that could be objefted, it were fufficicnt to 
 
 make
 
 96 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 make us abhor this vice. But we may go on to fay, 
 thr.t as he who drinks but a little is not mailer of himfelf, 
 fo he who drinks much is a flave to himfelf. 
 
 15. As for my part, I ever eileemed a drunkard of 
 all vicious perfons the moil vicious. For if our adions 
 are to be weighed and confidered according to the in- 
 ter.tion of them, what can we think of him who puts 
 himfelf into a circumftance wherein he can have no in- 
 tention at all, but incapacitates himfelf for the duties 
 and offices of life, by a fufpenfion of all his faculties ! 
 
 1 6. If a man confiders that he cannot, under the 
 oppreffion of drink, be a friend, a gentleman, a mafter, 
 or a fubject; that be has fo long banifhed himfelr 
 from all that is dear, and given up all that is facred 
 to him, he would even then think of a debauch with 
 horror. But when he looks ftill further, and acknow- 
 ledges that he is not only expelled out of all the relations 
 of life, but alfo liable to offend againft them all, what 
 words can exprefs the terror and deteftation he would 
 have of fuch a condition ? And yet he owns all this of 
 himfelf who fays he was drunk la ft night, 
 
 17. As I have all along perfilled in it, that all the 
 vicious in general are in a ilate of death, fo I think I 
 may aJd to the non-exitlence of drunkards, that they 
 died by their hands. He is certainly as guilty of fui- 
 cide who perimes by a flow, as he that is difpatched by 
 an immediate poifon. 
 
 18. In my laft lucubration I propofed the general 
 ufe of water gruel, and hinted that it might not be amifs 
 at this very feafon. But as there are fome, whofe cafes 
 in regard to their families, will not admit of delay, I 
 have ufed my intereft in feveral wards of the city, that 
 the wholefome reftorative above-mentioned may be giv- 
 en in tavern-kitchens to all the morning's-draught-meii 
 
 within
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 97 
 
 v.'ithin the walls when they call for wine before noon. 
 
 19. For a further reftraint and mark upon fuch per- 
 fons, I have given orders, that in all the offices where 
 policies are drawn upon lives, it fhall be added to the 
 article which prohibits that the nominee fhould crofs the 
 fca, the words, Provided alfo t That the above-mentioned 
 A > B . P.- all not drink before dinner during the term mention- 
 ed in tins indenture. 
 
 20. I am not without hopes that by this method I 
 fiiail bring fome unfizeable frier.ds of mine into fliape, 
 and breadth, as well as others who are languid and 
 confumptive, into health and vigour. Mod ofthefelf- 
 tmirderers whom I yet hinted at, are fuch as preferve a 
 certain regularity in taking their poifon, and make if .nix 
 pretty well with their food. 
 
 21. But the moft confpicuous of thofe who deftroj 
 themfelves, are fuch as in their youth fall into this Ibrt 
 of debauchery, and contract a certain uneafinefs of fpi- 
 rit, which is not to be diverted but by tippling as often as 
 they can fall into company in the day, and conclude with 
 down-right drunkennefs at night. Thefe gentlemen ne- 
 ver know the fatisfa&ions of youth, but {kip the years of 
 manhood, and ar? decrepid loon after they are of age. 
 
 22. I was godfather to one of thefe old fellows.- He 
 is now three and thirty, which is the grand climacteric 
 of a young drunkard. I went to vifit the crazy wretch 
 this morning, with no. other p^rpofe but to rally him, 
 unucr the pain and uneafinefs of being fober. 
 
 Bat as our faults are double when they affedl others 
 befides ourfelves, fo this vice is ftill more odious in a 
 married 'than a ftngle man. 
 
 23. He that is the huiband of a woman of bonour, 
 and comes home overloaded with wine, is ftill more 
 contemptible, in-proportion to the regard we have to 
 
 K. the
 
 Q8 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MOHITOR, 
 
 the unhappy confort of his beaftiality. The imagination 
 cannot Aiape to itfelf any thing more monftrcus and un- 
 natural, than the familiarities between drunkennefs and 
 chaftity. The wretched Aftrea, who is the perfection 
 of beauty and innocence, has long been thus condemn- 
 ed for life. The romantic tales of virgins devoted to 
 the jaws of monfters, have nothing in them Ib terri- 
 ble, as the gift of Aftrea to that bacchanal.- 
 
 24. The reflection of fuch a match, as fpotlels innocence 
 with abandoned lewdnefs, is what puts this vice in the 
 worft figure it can -bear with regard to others ; but 
 when it is looked upon with refpe&only to the drunkard 
 himfelf, it has deformities enough to make it difagree- 
 able, which may be fummed up in a word, by allowing, 
 that he who refigns his rcafon, is actually guilty of ail 
 that he is liable to from the want of realbn. 
 
 TATLER, VOL. iv. NO. 241. 
 
 GAMING. 
 SIR, 
 
 i. " As foon as you have fet up your unicorn, there 
 is no queftion but the ladies will make him pulh very 
 furioufly at the men ; for which reafon I think it is good 
 to be beforehand with them, and make the lion roar 
 aloud at female irregularities. Among thefe, I wonder 
 how their gaming has fo long efcaped your notice." 
 
 2. " Yoa
 
 AND ENGLISH TEA-CHEn's ASSISTANT. Q 
 
 " You who converfe with the fober family of the Li- 
 zards, are perhaps a ftranger to thefe viragoes ; but 
 what would you hy, fhould yen lee the fparkler flt&k- 
 ing her elbow for a whole night together, and thumping 
 the table with a dice-box ? Or how would you like to 
 hear the good widow lady herfelf returning to her houfe 
 at midnight, and alarming the whole ftreet with a mod 
 enormous rap, after having fat up till that time at crimp 
 or ombre ? Sir, I am the hufband of one of thefe fe- 
 male gamefters, and a great lofer by it both in my red 
 and my pocket. As my wife reads your papers; one 
 upon this fubjecl might be of ufe both to her, and 
 
 Tour bumble Servant." 
 
 3. I fhould ill deferve the name of guardian, did I 
 not caution all my fair wards againft a practice, which 
 when it runs into excefs, is the moft fhameful but one, 
 that the female world can fall into. The ill confe- 
 quences of it are more than can be contained in this pa- 
 per. However, that I may proceed in method, I fliall 
 confider them Firft, as they relate to the mind. Se* 
 condly, as they relate to the body. 
 
 4. Could we look into the mind of a female gamefter, 
 we fhould fee it full of nothing but trumps and matta- 
 dores. Her /lumbers are haunted with kings, queens-, 
 and knaves. The day lies heavy upon her till the play- 
 feafon returns, when for half a dozen hours together, 
 ail her faculties are employed in fhurHing, cutting, deal- 
 ing and forting out a pack of cards ; and no ideas to be 
 dilcovered in a foul which calls itfelf rational, excepting 
 little fquare figures of painted and fpotted paper. 
 
 5. Was' the underftanding, that divine part in our 
 compofuion, given for fuch an .ufe ? Is it thus that we 
 improve the greateft talent human nature is endued 
 
 K 2 with?
 
 JOO THE -GENTLEMAN AND tADV's MONITOR, 
 
 with ? What would a fuperior being think, were he 
 fhevva this intellectual faculty in a female gamefter, and 
 at the fame time to!J, that it was by this fhe w?.s dif- 
 tinguifhed from brutes, and allied to angels ? 
 
 6. When our women thus fill their imaginations with 
 pips and counters, I cannot wonder at the ftory I have 
 lately heard of a new-born child that was marked with 
 the five of clubs. 
 
 Their pafilons fuffer no lefs by this practice than their 
 nnderftandings and imaginations. What hope and fear, 
 joy and anger, forrow and cifcontent, break out all at 
 once in a fair aflembly upon fo noble an occafion as that 
 of turning up a card ? 
 
 7. Who can confider, without a fecret indignation, 
 that all thofe affections of the mind which fliould becon- 
 fecrated to their children, hufbands, and parents, are 
 thus vilely proftituted, and thrown away upon a hand 
 at loo ? For my own part, I cannot but be grieved, 
 when I fee a fine woman fretting and bleeding inwardly 
 from fuch trivial motives. When 1 behold the face of 
 an angel, agitated and difcompofed by the heart of 
 a fury. 
 
 8. Our minds are of fuch a make, that they naturally 
 give themfelves up to every diverfion \vhich they are 
 much f.ccuiiomed to, and we always find, that play, 
 when followed with afTiduity, engroflcs the whole wo- 
 man. She "quickly grows uneaiy in her own family, 
 takes but little pleafure in all the domeftic innocent en- 
 dearments of life, and giows. more fond of Pam than of 
 her hufband. 
 
 o. My friend . Theophrafi us, the beft of hnftands ami 
 
 of fathers, has often complained to me, with tears in his 
 
 f the late hours he is forced to keep if he would 
 
 enjoy his wile's convention. When the returns to me
 
 AND ENGLISH tEACHER*S ASSISTANT. IOI 
 
 with joy in her face, it does not arife, fays he, from the 
 fight of her hufband, but from the good luck fhe has had 
 at cards. 
 
 10. On the contrary, fays he, if fhe has been a lofer, 
 I am doubly a lufferer by it. She comes home out of 
 humour, is angry with every body, difpleafed with all 
 I can do or fay, and in reality for no other region but 
 becaufe ilie has been throwing away my eftate What 
 charming bed-fellows and companions for life, are men 
 likely to meet with, that chufe their wives out of fuch 
 women of vogue and failiiou ? What a race of worthies, 
 what patriots, what heroes mult we expecl from mo* 
 thers of this make? 
 
 1 1. 1 come in the next place to confider the ill confe- 
 quences which gaming has on the bodies of our female 
 adventurers. It is fo ordered, that almolt every thing 
 which corrupts the foul decays the body. The beauiits 
 of the face and mind are generally deftroyed by the iaius 
 means'. This confederation ihould have a particular 
 weight with the female world, who were defigned to 
 pleafe the eye and attract the regards of the other half 
 of the fpecies. 
 
 12. Now there is nothing that wears out a fine face 
 like the vigils of the card-table, and thofe cutting paP 
 fions which naturally attend them. Hollow eyes, hag- 
 gard looks, and pale complexions, are the natural in- 
 dications of a female gaiuefler. Her morning fiseps. 
 are not able to repair her midnight watching*. 
 
 13. 1 have known a woman carried off half dead from 
 baflette, and have many a time grieved, to lee a perfon 
 of quality gliding by me in her chair at two o'clock in 
 the morning, and looking like a fpedre amidil a glare 
 of flambeaux. In fliort, I never knew a thorough-paced 
 female gamefter hold her beauty two winters together. 
 
 K 3 14. But
 
 lOi THE SENTL'fcMAN AND t A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 14. But there is (till another cafe in which the body 
 is more endangered than in the former. AH play-debts 
 niuft be paid in fpccie, or by an equivalent. The man 
 that plays beyond his income pawns his eftate j the wo- 
 man muft find out fomethirig elfe to moitgage when her 
 pin-money is gone. The hufoand has his lards to dii- 
 pofe of, the wife her perfon. Now when the female 
 body is once dipped, if the creditor be very importunate, 
 I leave my reader to confider the confequences. 
 
 15, It is needlefs here to mention the ill confequen. 
 ces attending this paifion among the men, who are oft- 
 en bubbled out of their money and eftates by fliarpws, 
 an<3 to make up their lofs, have recourfe to means pro- 
 duftive of dire events, inltances of which frequently oc- 
 cur ; for, ftrictly fpeaking, thofe who fet their minds 
 upon gaming, can hardly be honeft. A man's reflec- 
 tions after lofing, render him defperate, fo as to com- 
 mit violence either upon himfelf or fome other perfon, 
 and therefore gaming fhould be difcouraged in ail well- 
 regulated communities. 
 
 WHISPERERS. 
 SIR, 
 
 i. A.S the ladies are naturally become the immediate 
 objects of your care, will you permit a complaint to be 
 inferted in your paper, which is founded upon a matter 
 of fat ? They will pardon me, if by laying before 
 you a particular inftance I was lately witnefs to of their 
 improper behaviour, I endeavour to expofe a reigning 
 evil, which fubjecls them to many fhameful imputa- 
 tions. 
 
 2. I
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACH E R.'s ASSISTANT. JOJ 
 
 2. T received la ft week a dinner-card from a friend, 
 with an intimation that J fliould meet fome very agree- 
 able ladies. At my arrival, I found that the company 
 confitkd chiefly of females,, who indeed did me the ho- 
 nour to rife, but quite difconcertcd me in paying my 
 reipefts, by their whifperiug each other, and appearing 
 to tlifle a laugh. When I was feated, the ladies group- 
 ed themfelves up in a corner, and entered into a private 
 cabal, feemingly to dilcourfe upon points of great fecre- 
 cy and importance, but ot "equal merriment and diver- 
 fion. 
 
 3. The fame conduct of keeping clofe to their ranks 
 wasobferved at table, where the ladies feated then felves 
 together. Their converfation was heie alfo confined 
 wholly to themfelves, and feemed like the myfteries of 
 the Sona Dea, in which men were forbidden to hate 
 any fliare. It was a continued laugh and a whifper 
 from the beginning to the end of the dinner. A whole 
 fentence was fcarce ever fpoken aloud. 
 
 4. Single words, indeed, now and then broke forth : 
 fuch as odious, horrible, detejlable, /hscking, humbug. 
 This laft, new-coined exprefiion, which is only ta be 
 found in the nonfenfical vocabulary, founds abfurd and 
 difagreeable, whenever it is pronounced; but from the 
 mouth of a lady it is " ihocking, deteilable, horrible, 
 and odious." 
 
 5. My friend feemed to be in ao uneafy fituation at 
 his own table ; but I was far more miferable. I was 
 mute, and feldom dared to lift up my eyes from my plate, 
 or turn my head to call for final i beer, left by fome 
 aukward pofture I might draw upon me a whifperor a 
 laugh. Sancho, when he was forbid to eat of a deli- 
 cious banquet fct before him, could fcarce appear more 
 melancholy. 
 
 6. The
 
 IO4 THE GENTLEMAN A N D I A D V J S M ON I T OR, 
 
 6. The rueful length of my face might poflibly in- 
 creaie the mirth of my tormentors ; at lead their joy 
 feemed to rife in exaft proportion with my mifery. At 
 length, however, the time of my deliverance approach- 
 ed. Dinner ended, the ladies made their exit in pairs, 
 and went off hand in hand whifpering like the two kings 
 of Brentford. 
 
 7. Mcdett men, Mr. Town, are deeply wounded, 
 when they imagine themfelves the objects of ridicule or 
 contempt ; and the pain is the greater, when it is given 
 by thofe whom they adlnire, and from whom they are 
 ambitious of receiving any marks of countenance and fa- 
 vour. Yet we muft allow, that affronts are pardonablj 
 from ladies, as they are often prognoftics of future kind- 
 nefs. 
 
 If a lady ftrikes our cheek, we can very willingly fol- 
 low the precept of the Gofpel, and turn the other cheek 
 to be fmitten. Even a blow from a fair hand conveys 
 pleafure. But this battery of whifpers is againft all legal 
 rights of war; poifoned arrows, and (labs in the dark, 
 are not more repugnant to the general laws of humanity. 
 
 9. Modern writers of comedy often introduce a pert 
 witling into their pieces, who is very fevere upon the 
 reft of the company; but all his waggery is fpoken a fide. 
 Thefe gigglers and whifpers feem to beaming the fame 
 part in company, that this arch rogue does in the play. 
 Every word or motion produces- a train of whifpers-; the 
 dropping of a fnuff-box, or fpilling the tea, is fure to be 
 accompanied with a titter; and upon the entrance of any 
 one with fomething particular in his perfon or manner, 
 I have feen a whole room in a buzz like a bee-hive. 
 
 10. This pradliceof whifpering, if it is any where al- 
 lowable, may perhaps be indulged the fair fex at church, 
 where the converfation can only be carried on by the 
 
 fccret
 
 AN D ENGLISH TE ACKERS ASSISTANT, IO$ 
 
 iccret fymbols of a curtfy, an ogle, or a nod. A whifper 
 in this place is very often of great ufe, as it fer'vcs to 
 convey the nioft fccret intelligence, which a lady would 
 be ready to burft with, if (he could not find vent for it 
 by this kind of auricular confeilion. A piece of fcandal 
 tranfpires in this munner fiomone pew to the other, then 
 prefently whizzes along the chancel, from whence it 
 crawls up to the galleries, till at lau the whole church 
 hums with it. 
 
 n.lt were alfo to be wifhed, that the ladies would 
 be pleafed to confine t-hem.felves to whilpering in their 
 tete-a-icte conferences, at an opera, or the play-houfe ; 
 which would be a proper deference to the reft of the 
 audience. In France, we are told, it is common for the 
 parterre to join with the performers in any favourite air ; 
 but we feem to have carried this cuilom ftill farther, as 
 the company in our boxes, without concerning themfelves 
 in the lead with the piay> are even louder than the play- 
 ers. 
 
 12. The vvit and humour of a Vanbrugh or a Coi- 
 grevc is frequently interrupted by a brilliant dialogue be- 
 tween two perfons of fafliion ; and a love-fccne in the 
 fide- box has often been more attended to, than that on the 
 ftage. As to their loud burfts of laughter at the theatre, 
 they may very well be excufcd, when they are excited by 
 any lively ftrokes in a comedy ; but I have feen our ladies 
 titter at the moil diftrefsful fcenes in Romeo and Juliet, 
 
 >grin over the anguifh. of a Monimia or Belviuera, and 
 fairly laugh king Lear off the ftage. 
 
 13. Thus the whole behaviour of thcfe ladies is in 
 direct contradiction to good manners. They laugh when 
 they fliould cry, are loud when they fhould be fil-jnt, 
 and are ftlent when their ccnverfation is defirable. If. a 
 man in a iele& company was thus to laugh or whifper 
 
 me
 
 IO6 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADT*S MONITOR, 
 
 me out of countenance, I fhould be apt to conftrae it 
 as an affront, and demand an explanation. 
 
 14. As to the ladies, I would defire them to reflect 
 how much they would fuffer, if their own weapons 
 were turned againft them, and the gentlemen fliotrld at- 
 tack them with the fame arts of laughing and whifpering. 
 But, however free they may be from our rcfentmenr, 
 they are ftill open to ill natured fufpicions. They do 
 not confider, what ftrange coaftru&ions may be put on 
 thefe laughs and whi-fpers, 
 
 15. It were indeed, of little confequence, if we only 
 imagined, that they were taking the reputation of their 
 acquaintance to pieces, or abufing the company round ; 
 but when they indulge themfelves in this behaviour, 
 fome perhaps may be led to conclude, that they are dif- 
 courfing upon topics, -which they are afhained to fpeak 
 of in a lefs private manner. 
 
 16. If the mifconduft, which I have defcribed, had 
 been only to be found, Mr. Town, at my friend's table, 
 I fliould rot have troubled you with this letter; but the 
 fame kind of ill breeding prevails too often, and in too ma- 
 ny places. The gigglers and the whifperers are innume- 
 rable j they befet us wherever we go ; and it is obferv- 
 able, that after a fhort murmur of whifpers, out comes 
 the burft of laughter ; like a gunpowder ferpent, which 
 after hiding about for fome time, goes ofF in a bounce. 
 
 17. Some excufe may perhaps be framed for this ill- 
 timed merriment in the fair fex. Venus, the goddefs of 
 beauty, is frequently called the laughter-loving dame ; 
 and by laughing, our modern ladies may poflibly ima- 
 gine, that they render themfelves like Venus. I have 
 indeed remarked, that the ladies commonly adjuft their 
 laugh to their perfons, and are merry in proportion as it 
 fets off their particular charms. 
 
 1 8. One
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 107 
 
 1 8. One lady is never further moved than to a finiie 
 or a fimper,, becaufe nothing elfe iliews her dimples to 
 fo much advantage; another, who has a very fine fet of 
 teeth, runs into & broad grin ; while a third, who is ad- 
 mired for a well-turned neck and grace fulchett, calls 
 up all her beauties to view by breaking into violent and 
 repeated peals of laughter. 
 
 19. I would not be underftood to impofe gravity or 
 too great a refevve on the fair fex. Let them laugh at 
 a feather ; but let them declare openly, that it is a fea- 
 ther which occafions their mirth. I ir.uft confefs, that 
 laughter becomes the young, the gay, and the hand- 
 fome ; but a whifper is unbecoming at all ages, and in 
 both fexes ; nor ought it ever to be pra&ifed, except in 
 the round gallery at St. Paul's, or in the famous whif- 
 pering place in Gloucester cathedral, where two whifper- 
 ers hear each other at the diftance of five and twenty 
 yards. 
 
 / atn t Sst~, 
 
 Tour bumble Servant. 
 
 BEAUTY. 
 
 i. 1HOUGH the danger of difappointment is al- 
 ways in proportion to the height of expectation, yet I 
 this day claim the attention of the ladies, and profefs to 
 teach an art by which all mav obtain what has hitherto 
 been deemed the prerogative of a few : an art by which 
 their predominant paffion may be gratified, and their 
 conqueits not only extended but fecured " The art of 
 being r &ETTY." 
 
 z. But
 
 : CO THE C E K T I, E M A N AND L A D Y*S MONITOR, 
 
 2. But though my fubject may intsreft the ladies, it 
 jr.ay, perhaps, offend thofe profound moralifts, who 
 have long fince determined, that beauty ought rather 
 to be defpifed than de fired j that, Hkw ftrength, it is a 
 rr.ere natural excellence, the effect of caufes wholly out 
 oi" cur power, and not intended either as the pledge of 
 :Ts or the ditHnflion of merit. 
 
 3. To thefe gentlemen 1 {hall remark, that beaut) is 
 among thole qualities, which no effort of human wit 
 could ever bring into contempt ; it is, therefore, to be 
 
 it leaft, iliat beauty was in fotve degree dependent 
 upon fentiment and manners, that fo high a privilege 
 ii.ight not be poflefTed by the unworthy, and that human 
 reaibn might no longer fuffer the mortification of thofe 
 who are compelled to adore an idol, which differs from a 
 flone or a log only by the ikill of the artificer ; and if 
 they cannot theinfelves behold beauty with indifference, 
 they muft, furely, approve an attempt to iKew thai it 
 merits their regard. 
 
 4. I fliail, however, principally confider that fpecies 
 of beauty which is exprefled in the countenance j for 
 ithis alone is peculiar to human beings, and is not lefs 
 complicated than their nature. In the countenance 
 there are but two requiutes to perfect beauty, which are 
 wholly produced by external caufes, colour and propor- 
 tion ; and it will appear, that even in common eftima- 
 tion thefe are not rie chief ; but that though there may 
 be beauty without them, yet there cannot be beauty 
 without fomething more. 
 
 5. The fineft features, ranged in the moft exaft fym- 
 metry, and heightened by the moft blooming complex- 
 ion, muft be animated before they can ftrike; and when 
 they are animated, will generally excite the fame pafficns 
 \vhichthey exprefs. If they are fixed in the dead call."- 
 
 of
 
 A\'n ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. IOQ 
 
 of infenfibiiity, they will be examined without emotion ; 
 and it they do not exprefs kinclnefe, they will be beheld 
 without love. 
 
 6. Looks of contempt, difdain, or malevolence, will 
 be reflected, as from a mirror, by every countenance on 
 which they are turned ; and if a wanton afpeft excites 
 defire, it is but like that of a favage for his prey, which 
 cannot be gratified without the deftruclion of its object. 
 
 7. Among particular graces the dimple has always 
 been allowed the pre-eminence, and the reafon is evi- 
 dent ; dimples are proJuced by a fmi!e,"and a fmile is 
 an expreifion of complacency ; fo the contraction of the 
 brows into a frown, as it is an indication of a contrary 
 temper, has always been deemed a capital defect. 
 
 8. Tlie lover is generally at a lofs to define the beau- 
 ty, by which his pallion was fuddenly and irrefifiibiy de- 
 termined to a particular objeft ; but this could never 
 happen, if it depended upon any known rule of propor- 
 tion, upon the fhape or difpofition of the features or the 
 colour of the (kin ; he tells you, that it is forr.elhing 
 which he cannot fully exprefs, fomething not fixed in a- 
 ny part, but difiufed over the whole ; he calls it a fweet- 
 ncfs, a foftnefs, a placid fenfibility, or gives it fome o- 
 thcr appellation which connecls beauty with fentiment. 
 :ind expreffes a charm which is not peculiar to any fet or 
 features, but is perhaps pofliblc to all 
 
 9. This beauty, however, do_es not always confift in 
 fmiles, but varies as exprcffions of meeknefs and kindnefs 
 vary with their objefts ; it is extremely forcible in 
 the filent complaint of patietit fufiiiance, the tender foli- 
 citude of friendfhip, and the glow of filial obedience ; 
 and in teats, whether of joy, of pity, or of giicf, it is al- 
 liioft irrcfiftible. 
 
 t 10. This
 
 CIO THE GENTLEMAN AND LATlv's MONITOR, 
 
 10. This is the charm which captivates without the 
 aid of nature, and without which her utmoft bounty is 
 ineffectual. But it cannot be aflumed as a inaflc to con- 
 ceal infenfibility or malevolence ; it muft be the genuine 
 effect of correfponding fentiments, or it will imprefs up- 
 on the countenance a new and more difgutting deformity, 
 affectation ; it will produce the grin, the fimper, the 
 ftare, the languifli, the pout, and innumerable other gri- 
 maces, that render folly ridiculous, and change pity to 
 contempt. 
 
 11. By.fome, indeed, this fpecies of hypocrify has 
 been praclifed with fuch {kill as to deceive fuperficial 
 obfervers, though it can deceive even thcfe but for a 
 moment. Looks which do not correfpond with the 
 heart, cannot be aflumed without labour, nor continued 
 without pain ; the motive to relinquifh them muft, 
 therefore, foon preponderate, and the afpeft and apparel 
 of the vifit will be laid by together; the fmiles and lan- 
 guiilunents of art will vanifh, and the fiercenefs of rage, 
 or the gloom of difcontent, will either obfcure or deftroy 
 all the elegance of fymmetry and complexion. 
 
 12. The artificial afpeft is, indeed, as wretched a fub- 
 ftitute for the exprefiion of fentiment, as the fmear of 
 paint for the blufh.es of health ; it is not only equally 
 tranfient, and equally liable to detection ; but as paint 
 leaves the countenance yet more withered and ghaftly, 
 the paffions burtt out with more violence after reftraint, 
 the features become more diftorted, and excite more de- 
 termined averfion. % 
 
 13. Beauty, therefore, depends principally upon the 
 mind, and confequenily may be influenced by education. 
 It has been remarked, that the predominant pafllon may 
 generally be difcovered in the countenance ; becaufe 
 the mufcles by which it is exprefled, being almoft perpe- 
 tually
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER* ASSISTANT. Ill 
 
 tually contracted, lofe their tone, and never totally re- 
 lax ; fo that the exprefllon remains when the paffion is 
 lufpended ; thus an angry, a difdainfu', a fubtfe, and a 
 lufpicious temper, is difplayed in characters that are al- 
 moft univerfally underltood. 
 
 14. It is equally true of the pleafing and the fofter 
 paflions, that they leave their fignatures upon the coun- 
 tenance when they ceafe to aft; the prevalence of thefe 
 paflions therefore produces a mechanical effect upon the 
 afpect, and gives a turn and caft to the features which 
 makes a more favourable and forcible impreffion upon 
 the mind of others, than any charm produced by mere 
 external caufes, 
 
 15. Neither does the beauty which depends upon tem- 
 per and fentiment, equally endanger the pofleflbr ; " It 
 is," to ufe an eaftorn metaphor, " like the towers of a 
 city, not only an ornament but a defence." If it excites 
 defrre, it at once controuls and refines it ; it repreffes 
 with awe, it foftens with delicacy, and it wins to imita- 
 tion. The love of reafon and virtue is mingled with the 
 love of beauty ; becaufe this beauty is little more 
 than the emanation of intellectual excellence, which is 
 not an object of corporeal appetite. 
 
 16. As it excites a purer paffion, it alfo more forcibly 
 engages to fidelity ; every man finds hiaifelf more pow- 
 erfully rellrained from giving pain to goodnefs than to 
 beauty j and every look of a countenance in which they 
 are blended, in which beauty is the expreflion of good- 
 nefs, is a filent reproach of the firft irregular wifli; and 
 the purpofe immediately appears to be difingenuous and 
 cruel, by which the tender hope of ineffable affection 
 would be difappointed, the placid confidence of unfut- 
 pected fimplicity abuled, and the peace even of virtue 
 
 L z endau-
 
 IIZ THE GENTLEMAN ANO LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 endangered by the moft fordid infidelity, and the 
 breach of the ftrongeft obligations. 
 
 17. But the hope of the hypocrite nmft periih. When 
 the fictitious beauty has laid by her fmiles, when the 
 luftre of her eyes and the bloom of her cheeks have loft 
 their influence with their novelty ; what remains but A 
 tyrant divefted of power: who will never be feen with- 
 out a mixture of indignation and difdain? The only 
 defire which this object could gratify, will be transfer- 
 red to another, not only without reiudtance, but with 
 triumph. 
 
 18. As refentment will fucceed to difappointment, a 
 defire to mortify will fucceed to a defire to pleafej and 
 the hufband may be urged to folicit a miftrefs, merely 
 by the remembrance of the beauty of his wife, which 
 lafted only till flie was known. 
 
 Let it, therefore, be remembered, that none can be 
 clifciples of the Graces, but in the fchool of Virtue ; 
 and that thofe who wifh to be lovely, muft learn early 
 to be good. 
 
 19. A FRIEND of mine has two daughters, whom 
 I will call -Letitia and Daphne ; the former is one of 
 the greateft beauties of the age in which flie lives, the 
 latter no way remarkable for any charms in her perfbn. 
 Upon this one circumftance of rheir outward form, the 
 good and ill of their life feems to turn. Letilia has not 
 from her very childhood, heard any ihing elfe but 
 commendations of her features and complexion, by 
 which means Hie is no other th:n nature made her, a 
 very beautiful outfide. 
 
 20. Theccnfcioufnefs of her charms has rendered her 
 infupportably vain and infolent, towards all who have 
 to do with her. D.inhne, who was ahnoft twenty be- 
 fore
 
 AND ENL'ISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. ITJ 
 
 fore one civil thing had ever been faid to her, found her- 
 felf obliged to acquire fome accomplifhments to make 
 up for the want of thole attractions which fhe faw in, 
 her fitter. 
 
 21. Poor Daphne was feldom fubniitted to in a de* 
 bate wherein flie was concerned ; her difcourfe had no- 
 thing to recommend it but the good lenfe of it, and fhe 
 was always under a<necefiity to have very well confider- 
 cd what Hie was to fay before flie uttered it ; while 
 Letitia was liftened to with partiality, and approbation 
 fat in the countenances of thole flie corwerfed with, be- 
 fore fhe communicated what ihe had to fay. 
 
 22. Thefe caufes have produced fuitable effefls, and 
 Letitia is as infipid a companion, as Daphne is an agree- 
 able one. Letitia, confident of favour, has ftujied no- 
 arts to pleafe ; Daphne, defpairing of any inclination to- 
 wards Her perfon, has depended only on her merit. Le- 
 titia has always fomething in her air that is -fallen, grave, 
 and difconfolate. 
 
 23. Daphne has a countenance that appears chearful, 
 open, and unconcerned. A young gentleman faw Le- 
 titia this winter at a play, and became her captive. His- 
 fortune was fuch that he wanted very little introduction 
 to fpeak his fentiments to her father. The lover was 
 admitted with the utmoft freedom into the family, where 
 a conftrained behaviour, fevere looks, and diftant civili- 
 ties, were the higheft favours he could obtain of Letitia ; 
 while Daphne ufed him with the good humour, famili- 
 arity, and innocence of a filter. 
 
 24. Infomuch that he would often fay to her, Dear 
 Daphne, ivert tbou but as bandfome as Letitia i She re- 
 ceived fuch language with that ingenuous and pleafing 
 mirth, which is natural to a woman without defign. He 
 dill figlied in vain for Letitia, but found certain relief
 
 AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 in the agreeable converfatipn of Daphne. At length, 
 heartily tired with the haughty impertinence of Letitia 
 ^nd charmed with repeated inftancesof good humour he 
 had observed in Daphne, he one day told the latter, that 
 he had fomething to fay to her he hoped fhe would be 
 
 pleafed with. 
 
 25. Faith, Daphne, continued he, / am in live 
 
 with tbee, and defyife t!y Sifter fmcerely. The manner 
 cf his declaring himfelf gave his niiftrefs occafion for a 
 
 very hearty laughter, A r <y, fays he, / know ym 
 
 would laugh at me, but I'll ajk your father. He did fo j 
 the father received his intelligence with no lefs joy than 
 furprife,, and was very glad he had now no care left but 
 for his beauty, which he thought he would carry to mar- 
 ket at his leifure. 
 
 26. I do not know any thing that has pleafed me fo 
 rhuch a great while, as this conqueft of my friend 
 Daphne's. All her acquaintance congratulate her upon 
 her chance-medley, and laugh at that premeditating 
 murderer, her fitter. As it is an argument cf a light 
 mind, to think the worfe of ourfelves for the imperfec- 
 tions of our perfons, it is equally below us to value our- 
 felves upon the advantages of them. 
 
 27. The female world feems to be almofl incorrigi- 
 bly gone aflray in this particular; for which reafon, 1 
 fhall recommend the following extract out of a friend's 
 letter to the profeiTed beauties, who are a people almoft 
 as infufferable as the profefled wits. 
 
 " Monfieur St. Evremont has concluded one of his 
 eflays with affirming, that the laft fighs of a handfomc 
 woman are not fo much for the lofs of her life as her 
 beauty. 
 
 28. " Perhaps
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER*5 ASSISTANT. 11$ 
 
 zS. " Perhaps this raillery is purfued too far, yet it 
 is turned upon a very obvious remark, that won;an*3 
 itrongeft paflion is for her own beauty, and that fhe 
 values it as her favourite diftin&ion. From hence it is 
 that all arts, which pretend to improve or preferve it, 
 meet with fo general a reception among the fex. 
 
 29 " To iky nothing of many falfe helps, and con- 
 traband wares of beauty, which are daily vended in this 
 great mart, there is not a maiden-gentlewoman, of a 
 good family In any county of South-Britain, who has not 
 heard of the virtues of May-dew, or is unfurniflied with 
 fome receipt or other in favour of her complexion j and 
 I have known a phyfkian of learning and fenfe, after 
 eight years' ftudy in the univerfity, and a courfe of tra- 
 vels into moft countries of Europe, owe the firft railing 
 of his fortune to a coihietic walla. 
 
 30. " This has given me occafion to confider how (b 
 uniyerfal a dilpofition in womankind, which fprings from 
 a laudable motive, the defire of .pleafing, and proceeds 
 upon an opinion, not altogether groundlefs, that nature 
 may be helped by art, may be turned to their advantage. 
 And, methinks, it would be an acceptable fervice to take 
 them out of the hands of quacks and pretenders, and to 
 prevent their impofing upon themielves, by dilcovcring 
 to them the true fecret and art of improving beauty. 
 
 31. " In order to this, before I touch upon it direct- 
 ly, it will be neceffary to lay down a few preliminary 
 maxims, viz. 
 
 " That no woman can be handle- me by the force of 
 features alone, any more than flie can be witty only by 
 the help of fpeech. 
 
 " That pride deltroys all fy^nmetry and grace, and 
 affectation is a more terrible enemy to fine faces than the 
 finall-pex. 
 
 ' That
 
 l-l6 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's M'ONITOR, 
 
 " That no woman is capable of being beautiful, who 
 if not incapable of being falfe. 
 
 " And, that what would be odious in a friend, is de- 
 formity in a miftrefs. 
 
 3Z. " From thefe few principles, thus laid down, it 
 will be eafy to prove, that the true art of affifting beauty 
 confifts in embellifliing the whole perfon by the proper 
 ornaments of virtuous and commendable qualities. By 
 this help alone it is, that thofe who are the favourite 
 work of nature, or as Mr. Dryden exprefles it, ths 
 porcelain clay of human kind, become animated, and are 
 in a capacity of exerting their charms; and thofe who 
 feeni to have been neglecled by her, like models 
 wrought in hafte, are.capable, in a great meafure, cf- 
 finifliing what {he has left imperfect. 
 
 33. " It is, methinks, a low and degrading idea cf 
 that fex, which was created to refine the joys, and loft- 
 en the cares of humanity, by the moft agreeable partici- 
 pation, to confider them merely as objects of fight. This- 
 is abridging them of their natural extent of power, to 
 put them upon a level with their pictures at the panthe- 
 on. How much nobler is the contemplation of beautj 
 heightened by virtue, and commanding our efteem and 
 love, while it draws-our obfervation ? 
 
 34. " How faint and fpiritlefs are the charms of a co- 
 quet, when compared with the real lovelinefs of Sophro- 
 nia's innocence, piety, good hu-mour, and truth ; virtues 
 which add a new foftnefs to her fex, and even beautify 
 her beauty ! That agreeablenefs, which muft otherwife 
 have appeared no longer in the modeft virgin, is now 
 preferved in the tender mother, the prudent friend, and 
 faithful wife. 
 
 35. " Colours artfully fpread upon canvafs, may 
 entertain the eye, but not affe the heart; and flic, 
 
 who
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. 117 
 
 who takes no care to add to the natural graces of her 
 perfon, any excelling qualities, may be allowed ftiil to 
 amule as a picture, but not to triumph as a beauty. 
 
 " When Adam is introduced by Milton defcribing 
 Eve in Paradife, and relating to the angel the imprefilons 
 he felt upon feeing her at her full creation, he does not 
 repretent her like a Grecian Venus, by her fhape 
 or features, but by the luftre of her mind which fhone 
 in them, and gave them their power of charming. 
 
 36. Grace was in allher jlept, heaven in her eye, 
 In all her gejlures dignity and Jove. 
 
 " Without this irradiating power the proudeft fair- 
 one ought to know, whatever her glafs may tell her to 
 the contrary, that her moft perfect features are unin- 
 formed and dead. 
 
 " I cannot better clofe this moral, than by a fhort epi- 
 taph written by Ben Johnfon, with a fpirit which no- 
 thing could infpire, but fuch an objeft as I have been 
 defcribing." 
 
 Underneath ibis flone doth He, 
 j4s much virtue as could die -, 
 Which ivhen alive afa' urigour jrivt 
 To as much beauty as could live, 
 
 I ant t Sir, 
 
 Tour tnoft humble Servant. 
 R. B. 
 
 SPECTATOR, VOL.1. NO. 33, 
 
 HONOUR.
 
 Il8 THE GEKTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 HONOUR. 
 
 i. JiVERY principle that is a motive to good actions, 
 ought to be encouraged, fince men are of io different a 
 make, that the fame principle does not work equally up- 
 on all minds. What fome men are prompted to by con- 
 fcience, duty, or religion, which are only different names 
 for the fame thing, others are prompted to by Honour. 
 
 2. The fenfe of honour is of fo fine and delicate a 
 nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are 
 naturally noble, or in fuch as have been cultivated by 
 great examples, or a refined education. This paper 
 therefore is chiefly defigned for thofe who by means of 
 any of thefe advantages, are, or ought to be actuated by 
 this glorious principle. 
 
 3. But as nothing is more pernicious than a principle 
 of action when it is mifundertlood, I fiiall confider hon- 
 our with refpect to three forts of men. Firft of all, 
 with regard to thofe who have a right notion of it. Se- 
 condly, with regard to thofe who have a miftaken no- 
 tion of it. And thirdly, with regard to thofe who treat 
 it as chimerical, and turn it into ridicule. 
 
 4. In the firft place, true honour, though it be a dif- 
 ferent principle from rdigion, is that which produces 
 the fame effects. The lines of action, though drawn 
 from different parts, terminate in the fame point. Re- 
 ligion embraces virtue, as it is enjoined by the laws of 
 of God ; Honour, as it is graceful and ornamental tp 
 human nature. 
 
 5. The religious man fears, the man of honour fcorns 
 to do an ill action. The latter confiders vice as fome- 
 thing that is beneath him, the other as fomething that is 
 offenfive. to the divine Being. The one as what is 
 
 unbecoming,
 
 AMD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT, iig 
 
 unbecoming, the other as what \s forbidden. Thus Sene- 
 ca fpeaks in the natural and genuine language of a man 
 of honour, when he declares, that were there no God 
 to fee or punifh vice, he would not commit it, becaufe 
 it is of -fo mean, fo bafe, and fo vile a nature. 
 
 6. I 'fliall conclude this head with the defcription of 
 honour in the part of young* Juba. 
 
 Honour's a facred tie, the law of kings, 
 
 Tht noble mind's diftinguifbing perfeRion, 
 
 That aids and Jirengthens virtue where it meets her t 
 
 And imitates her aSions tuherejke is not, 
 
 It ought not to be fported with. 
 
 CATO. 
 
 7. In the fecond place we are to confider thofe who 
 have miftaken notions of honour, and thefe are fjich as 
 eftablifli any thing to themfelves for a point of honour 
 which is contrary either to the laws of God, or of their 
 country ; who think it more honourable to revenge 
 than to forgive an injury ; who make no fcruple of tel- 
 ling a lie, but would put any man to death that accufes 
 them of it ; who are more careful to guard their reputa- - 
 tion by their courage than by their virtue. 
 
 8. True fortitude is indeed fo becoming in human 
 nature, that 'he who wants it icarce deferves the name 
 of a man ; but we find feveral who fo much abufe 
 this notion, that they place the whole idea of honour 
 in a kind of brutal courage ; by which means we have 
 had many among us who have called themfelves men of 
 honour, that would have been a difgrace to a gibbet. 
 
 9. In a word, the man who facrifices any duty of a 
 reafonable creature to a prevailing mode or fafhion, who 
 looks upon any thing as honourable that is difpleafing 
 
 to
 
 120 THE GENTI.E7v1AK AND LADv's MONITOR, 
 
 to his Maker, or deitrudtive to fociety, who thinks 
 hiuifelf obliged by this principle to the practice of fome 
 virtues and not of others, is by no means to be reckoned 
 among men of true honour. 
 
 10. Timogenes was a lively inftance of one actuated 
 by falfe honour. Timogenes would fmile at a man's 
 jefl who ridiculed his Maker, and at the fame time, run 
 a man through the body that fpoke ill of his friend. 
 Timogenes would have fcorned to have betrayed a fe- 
 cret, that was entrufted with him, though the fate of 
 his country depended upon the difcovery of it. 
 
 11. Timogenes took away the life of a young fellow 
 in a duel, for having fpoken ill of Belinda, a lady whom 
 he himfelf had feduced in her youth, and betrayed into 
 want and ignominy, To clofe his character, Timogenes, 
 after having ruined feveral poor tradefmen's families, 
 who had trufted him, fold his eftate to fatisfy his cre- 
 ditors; but, like a man of honour, difpofed of all the 
 money he could make of it, in paying off his play debts, 
 or to fpeak in his own langur.ge, his debts of honour. 
 
 12. In the third place, we are to confider thofe per- 
 fons, who treat this principle as chimerical, and turn it 
 into ridicule. Men who are profeffedly of no honour, 
 are of a more profligate and abandoned nature, than 
 even thofe who are actuated by falfe notions of it, as 
 there are more hopes of a heretic than of an atheift. 
 Thefefons of infamy confider honour with old Syphax, 
 in the play before-mentioned, as a fine imaginary notion, 
 that leads aftray young unexperienced men, and draws 
 them into real mifchiefs, while they are engaged in the 
 purfuits of a (hadow. 
 
 1 3. Thefe are generally perfons, who, in Shakefpear's 
 phrafe, are -worn and hackneyed in the ways of men ; 
 whofe imaginations are grown callous, and have loft all 
 
 thofe
 
 ND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 121 
 
 thofe delicate fentiments which are natural to minds that 
 are innocent and undepraved. Such old battered mif- 
 crcants ridicule ever/ thing as romantic, that comes in 
 competition with their prefent intereft, and treat thofe 
 perfons as vifionaries who dare (land up in a corrupt 
 age, for what has not its immediate reward joined to it. 
 14. The talents, intereft, or experience of fuch men, 
 make them very often ufcful in all parties, and at all 
 times ; but whatever wealth and dignities they may ar- 
 rive at, they ought to confider, that every one ftands 
 as a blot in the annals of his country, who arrives at the 
 temple of honour, by any other way than through that 
 of virtue. 
 
 GUARDIAN', VOL. II. WO, l6i. 
 
 , I 
 
 HUMAN NATURE. 
 Mr. Spetfator, 
 
 HAVE always been a very great lover of your 
 fpeculations, as well in regard to theiubjedl, as to your 
 manner of treating it. Human nature I always thought 
 the moft ufeful object of human reafon, and to make the 
 confideration of it pleafant and entertaining, I always 
 thought the bed employment of human wit. Other 
 parls of philofophy may perhaps make us wifer, but this 
 not only anfwers that end, but makes us better too. 
 
 2. " Hence it was that the oracle pronounced Socra- 
 tes the wifeft of all men living, becaufe he judicioufly 
 made choice of human nature for the object of his 
 thoughts ; an inquiry into which as much exceeds all 
 other learning, as it is of more confequence to adjuft 
 M the
 
 122 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADv's MONITOR, 
 
 the true nature and meafures of right and, wrong, than 
 to fettle the diftance of the planets, and compute the 
 times ofrtheir circumvolutions. 
 
 3. " One good effect that will immediately arife from a 
 near obferva tion of human nature, is, that we fliall ceaie 
 to wonder at thofe actions which men are ufed to rec- 
 kon wholly unaccountable ; for as nothing is produced 
 without a caufe, fo by obferving the nature and courfe 
 of the pafllons, we fliajl be able to trace every action 
 from its firft conception to its death. 
 
 4. " We fhall no more admire at the proceedings of 
 Cataline and Tiberius, when we know the one was ac- 
 tuated by a cruel jealoufy, the other by a furious am- 
 bition ; for the actions of men follow their pafllons as 
 naturally as light does heat, or as any other effect flows 
 from its caufe ; reafon muft be employed in adjufting 
 the pafllons, but they muft ever remain the principles of 
 action. 
 
 5. " The ftrange and abfurd variety that is fo appa- 
 rent in men's actions, fhews plainly they can never pro- 
 ceed immediately from reafon ; fo pure a fountain emits 
 no fuch troubled waters ; they muft neceflarily arife 
 from the pafllons, which are to the mind as the winds to 
 a flhip; they only can move it, and they too often deftroy 
 it ; if fair and genile, they guide it into the harbour ; 
 if contrary and furious, they overfet it in tl$e waves. 
 
 6. " In the fame manner is the mind afllfted or en- 
 dangered by the pafllons ; reaion muft then take the 
 place of pilot, and can never fail of fecuring her charge 
 if flie be not wanting to herfelf. The ftrength of the 
 pafllons will never be accepted as an excufe for comply- 
 ing with them ; they were defigried for fubjection ; and 
 if a man fuffers them to get the upper hand, he then 
 betrays ihe liberty of his own foul.
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. 12.$ 
 
 7. " As nature has framed the feveral fpecies of be- 
 ings as it were in a chain, fo man feems to be placed as 
 the middle link between angels and brutes Hence be 
 participates both i.f fle/h and fpirit by an admirable tie, 
 which in him occafions perpetual war of paiTions ; and as 
 a man inclines to the angelic or brute part of his conrti- 
 tution, he is then denominated good or bad, virtuous or 
 wicked ; if love, mercy, and good-nature prevail, they 
 fpeak him of the angel ; if hatred, cruelty, and envy 
 predominate, they declare his kindred to the brute. 
 
 8. " Hence it was that feme ancients imagined, that 
 as men in this life inclined more to the angel or the 
 brute, fo after their death they flioukl tranfmigrate into 
 the one or the other ; and it would be no unpleafant 
 notion to confider the feveral fpecies of brutes, into 
 which we may imagine that tyrants, mifers, the proud, 
 malicious and ill-natured, might be changed. 
 
 9. " As a confequence of this original, all pafllons 
 are in all men, but appear not in all ; conftitution, edu- 
 cation > cuftom of the country, reafon, and the like 
 caufes may improve or abate the ftrength of them, but 
 ftill the feeds remain, which are ever ready to fprout 
 forth upon the lead encouragement. 
 
 10. " I have heard a ftory of a good religious man, 
 who having been bred with the milk of a goat, was've- 
 ry modeft in public, by a careful reflection he made on 
 his actions, but he frequently had an hour in fecret, 
 wherein he had his frifks and capers; and if we had an 
 opportunity of examining the retirement of the ftricleft 
 philofophers, no doubt but we iKould find perpetual re- 
 turns of thofe pafllons they fo artfully conceal from 
 the' public, 
 
 M 2 II. " I
 
 124 THE GENTLEMAN AND lADY'S MONITOR.. 
 
 ii. '* I remember Machiavel obferves that every ftate 
 fhould enteitain a perpetual jealoufy of its neighbours, 
 that fo it fhould never be unprovided when an emer- 
 gency happens ; in like manner fhculd reafon be perpe- 
 tually on its guard againft the paflions, and never fuffer 
 them to carry on any defign that may be deftru&ive of its 
 fecurity ; yet at the fame lime it mufl be careful, that it 
 don't fofar break their itrength as to render them con- 
 temptible, and confequently itfelf unguarded. 
 
 I 2. " The underftanding being of itfelf too flow and 
 lazy to exert itfelf into action, it is neceflary it fliould be 
 put into motion by the gentle gales of paffions, which 
 may preferve it from ftagnating and corruption ; for they 
 are neceflary to the health of the mind, as the circula- 
 tion of the animal fpirits is to the health of the body ; 
 they keep it in life, and ftrength and vigour ; nor is it 
 poflible for the mind to perform its offices without their 
 jifiiftance ; thefe motions are given us with our being ; 
 they are little fpirits, that are born and die with us ; to 
 fotr.e they are n.'ild, eafy and gentle, to others wayward 
 and unruly, yet never too ftrong for the reins of reafon, 
 and the guidance of judgment. 
 
 13. " We may generally obferve a pretty nice pro- 
 portion between the ftrength of reafon and paffion ; the 
 greateft genuifes have commonly the ftrongefl affections, 
 as, on the other hand, the weaker underftandings, have 
 generally the weaker paffions ; and 'tis fit the fury of the 
 courfcrs fliould not be too great for the ftrength of the 
 charioteer. 
 
 14. " Young men, whofe paflions are not a little un- 
 ruly, give fmall hopes of their ever being confiderable ; 
 the fire of youth will of courfe abate, and is a fault, if it 
 be a fault, that mends every day; but lurely, unlcfs a man 
 has fire in youth, he can hardly have war nth in old age. 
 
 15. " We
 
 AND ENGLISH TE ACHER's ASSISTANT, 1 25 
 
 15. " We muft therefore be very cautious, left , 
 while we think to regulate the pillions, we fhould quite 
 extinguish them j which is putting out the light of the 
 foul ; for to be without paflion, or to be hurried away 
 with it, makes a man equally blind. The extraordina- 
 ry feverity uled in mod of our fchools has this fatal ef- 
 fect, it breaks the fpringof the mind, and moft certainly 
 dertroys more good genuifes than it can poflibly improve. 
 
 16. ** And furely 'tis a mighty miftake that the paf- 
 fions fliould be fo entirely fubdued ; for little irregulari- 
 ties are fometimes not only to be borne with, but to be 
 cultivated too, fince they are frequently attended with 
 the greateft perfections. All great genuifes have faults 
 mixed with their virtues, and refemble the flaming bufli 
 which has thorns -ainongft lights. 
 
 17. " Since therefore the paffions are the principles 
 of human actions, we muft endeavour to manage them 
 fo.as to retain their vigour, yet keep them under ftrict 
 command: we muft govern them rather like free fubjects 
 than flaves, left, while we intend to make them obedi- 
 ent, they become abject, and unfit for thofe great pur- 
 pofes to which they were defigned. 
 
 18. " For my part, I muft confefs, I could never 
 have any regard to that fel of philofophers, who Co much 
 infifted upon an abfolute indifference and vacancy from 
 all paflion ; for it feems to me a thing very inconllftent 
 for a man to divert himfelf of humanity, in order to ac- 
 quire tranquillity of mind, and to eradicate the very 
 principles of action, becaufe it is poflib-le they may pro- 
 duce ill effect. 
 
 / am, &'r, 
 
 Tour affefiitnate admirer ', 
 
 SPECTATOR, VOL. IV. NO. 408. T. I' 
 
 M 3 THE-
 
 THE GENTIEMAN AND L ADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 THE ADVANTAGES OF REPRESENTING 
 HUMAN NATURE IN ITS PROPER 
 DIGNITY. 
 
 T ATLER, NO. IO3. 
 
 IT 
 
 is not to be imagined, how great an effeft well- 
 difpofed lights, with proper forms and orders in aflem- 
 blies, have upon fome tempers. I amfure I feel it in fo 
 extraordinary a manner, that I cannot in a day or two 
 get out of my imagination any very beautiful or difa- 
 greeable impreflion which I receive on fuch occafions. 
 For this reafon 1 frequently look in at the play-houfe, in 
 order to enlarge my thoughts, and warm my mind with 
 fome new ideas, that may be ferviceable to me in my 
 lucubrations. 
 
 i. Jn this difpofition I entered the theatre the other 
 day, and placed myfelf in a corner of it, very conveni- 
 ent for feeing, without being myfelf obferved. 1 found 
 the audience hufhed in a very deep attention, and did not 
 queftion but fome noble tragedy was juft then in its cri- 
 fis, or that an incident was to be unravelled which would 
 determine the fate of an hero. While I was in this fuf- 
 pence, expe&ing every moment to fee my old friend 
 Mr. Betterton appear in all the majefty of diftrefs, to my 
 ur.fpeakable amazement, there came up a monfler with
 
 AND ENGLISH tEACHER's ASSISTANT. 127 
 
 a. face between his feet ; and as I was looking on, he 
 raifed himfelf on one leg in fuch a perpendicular pofture, 
 that the other grew in a direct line above his head. 
 
 2. It afterwards twifted itfelf into the motions and 
 writhingsof feveral different animals, and after a great 
 variety of fliapes and transformations, went off the ftage 
 in the figure of an human creature. The admiration, 
 the applaufe, the fatisfa6lion of the audience, during 
 this ftrange entertainment, is not to be expreffed. 1 was 
 very much out of countenance for my dear country- 
 men, and looked about with foine apprehenfion, for 
 fear any foreigners flxmld be prefent. 
 
 3. Is it -pofilble (thought I) that human nature can 
 rejoice in its difgrace, and take pleafure in feeing its 
 wwn figure turned to ridicule, and diftorted into forms 
 that raife horror and averfion ? There is Ibmething dif- 
 ingenuous and imtr.oral in the being able to bear fuch a 
 fight. Men of elegant and noble minds, are fhocked at 
 the feeing characters of perfons whodeferve efteein for 
 their virtue, knowledge, or fervices to their country, 
 placed in wrong lights, and by mifreprefentation made 
 the fubject of buffoonery. 
 
 4. Such a nice abhorrence is not indeed to be found 
 among the vulgar; but methinks it is wonderful, that 
 thofe, who have nothing but the outward figure to dif- 
 tinguifh. them as men, fliould delight in feeing it abufed, 
 vilified, and difgraced. 
 
 I muft confefs, there is nothing that more pleafes me, 
 in all that I read in books, or fee among mankind, than 
 fuch pafTages as reprefent human nature in its proper 
 dignity. 
 
 5. As man is a creature made up of different ex- 
 tremes, he has fomething in him very great and very 
 mean ; a flcilful artift may draw ,an excellent picture of 
 
 him
 
 I2B THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S ?vfOJUTOr>, 
 
 him in either of thefc views. The fineft authors of an- 
 tiquity have taken him on the more advantageous fide. 
 They cultivate the natural granceur of the foul, raife in 
 her a generous ambition, feed her with hopes of immor- 
 tality and perfe&ion, and do all they can to widen the 
 partition between the virtuous and the vicious, by mak- 
 ing the difference betwixt them as great as between gods 
 and brutes. 
 
 6. In fhort.it istmpbflibletoread a pnge in Plato, Tut!/, 
 and a thoufand other antient mofKlifls, without being a 
 greater and better man for it. On the contrary, I could 
 never read any of ourmodifli French authors, or thofe 
 of our own country, who ars-the imitators and admirers 
 of that trifling nation, without being for fome timeout 
 of humour with myfelf, and at every thing about me. 
 
 7. Their bufmefsis, to depreciate human nature, and 
 confider it tinder its wcrft appearances. They give 
 mean interpretations and bafe motives to the worthieft 
 aRions: they refolve virlue and vice into' conftitution. 
 In fliort, they endeavour to make no diitinction between 
 man and man, or between the fpecies of men and that 
 of brutes. As an inttance of this kind of authors, a- 
 inong many others, let any one examine the celebrated 
 Rochefoucault, who is the great philoiopher for adminif- 
 tering of confolation to the idle, the envious, and worth- 
 lefs part of mankind. 
 
 8. I remember a young gentleman of moderate un- 
 derftanding, but great vivacity, who, by dipping into 
 many authors of this nature, had got a little fmaitering 
 of knowledge, juft enough to make an atheift or a free- 
 thinker, but not a philoiopher or a man of fenfe. With 
 thefe accbmplifliments he went to vifit his father in the 
 country, who was a plain, rough, honeft man, and wife, 
 though not learned. The fon, who took all opportuni-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 129 
 
 ties to {hew his learning, began to ellablifh a new reli- 
 gion in the family, and to enlarge the narrownefs of 
 their country notions ; in which he fucceeded (b well, 
 that he had feduced the butler by his table-talk, and 
 daggered his elded fifter. 
 
 9. The old gentleman began to be alarmed at the 
 fchifnis that arofe among his children, but did not yet 
 believe his fon's doctrine to be fo .pernicious as it really 
 was, till one day talking of his fetting-dog, the fon faid, 
 he did not queluon but Tray was as immortal as any 
 one of the family ; and in the heat of the argument told 
 Jhis~father, that for his own part he expected to die like 
 a dog. Upon which, the old man ftarting up in a very 
 great paflion, cried out Then, firrab, you fhall live 
 like one ; and taking his cane in his hand, cudgelled 
 him out of his fyttem. This had fo good an effecl upon 
 him, that he took up from that day, fell to reading good 
 books, and is now a bencher in the Middle Temple. 
 
 10. I do not mention this cudgelling part of the ftory 
 with a defign to engage the fecular arm in matters of this 
 nature ; but certainly, if it ever exerts itfelf in affairs of 
 opinion and fpeculation, it ought to do it on fucb flial- 
 lowand defpicable pretenders to knowledge, who endea- 
 vour to give man dark and uncomfortable profpefts of 
 his being, and deftroy thofe principles which are the fup- 
 port, happinefs, and glory of all public focieties, as well 
 as private perfons. 
 
 11. I think it is one of Pythagoras' golden fayings, 
 that a man Jhoulil take care above all things to have a due 
 rsfped: for hitnjelf : and it is certain, that this licentious 
 fort of authors, who are for depreciating mankind, en- 
 deavour to difappoint and undo what the moft refitted, 
 fpirits have been labouring to advance fince the begin- 
 ning of the world, The very defign of drefs, good-breed-
 
 I^O TUB GENTLEMAN AND L A DY S MONITOR, 
 
 ing, outward ornaments and ceremony, were to lift up 
 human nature and fet it off to advantage. Architecture, 
 painting, and ftatuary, were invented with the fame de- 
 fign ; as indeed every art and fcience that contributes to 
 the embellifliment of life, and to the wearing off and 
 throwing into fhades the mean and low parts of our na- 
 ture. 
 
 i 2 Poetry carries on this great end more than all the 
 reft, as may be feen in the following paffage taken out 
 of Sir Francis Bacon's Advancement of Learning, which 
 gives a true and better account of this art than all the 
 volumes that were ever written upon it. 
 
 " Poetry, efpecially heroical, feems to be raifed al- 
 together from a noble foundation, which makes much 
 for the dignity of man's nature. For feeing this fenfible' 
 world is in dignity inferior to the foul of man, poefy 
 feems to endow human nature with that which hiftory 
 denies; and to give fatisfaction on the mind, with at 
 leaft the fliadow of things, where the fubftance cannot- 
 be had. 
 
 13. " For if the matter be thoroughly confidered, a 
 ftrong argument may be drawn from poefy, that a more 
 (lately greatnefs of things, a more perfect order, and a 
 more beautiful variety, delights the foul of man than, 
 any way can be found in nature fince the fall. Where- 
 fore feeing the acts and events, which are the fuhjecls of 
 true hiftory, are not of that amplitude as to content the 
 mind of man ; poefy is ready at hand to feign acts more 
 heroical. 
 
 14. " Becaufe true hiftory reports the fuccefles of 
 bufinefs not proportionable to the merit of virtues and 
 vices, poefy corrects it, and prefenrs events and fortunes 
 according to defert, and according to the law of Provi- 
 dence ; becaufe true hiftory, through the frequent 
 
 fatiety
 
 AND ENGLISH TE ACKER'S ASSISTANT. 131 
 
 'fatiety and fimilitude of things, works a diftafte and mif- 
 prifion in the mind of man ; poefy cheareth and relie^Ti- 
 eth the foul, chanting things rare and various, and full 
 of vicillitudes. 
 
 15. " So as poefy fcrveth and conferred! to delecta- 
 tion, magnanimity and morality ; and therefore it may 
 feem deferved to have foaie participation of divinenefs, 
 beca'ufe it doth raife the mind, and exalt the fpirit with 
 high] raptures, by proportioning the fhews of things to 
 the defires of the mind, and not fubmttting the mind to 
 things as reafon and hiftory do. And by thefe allure- 
 ments and congruities, whereby it cheriiheth the foul of 
 man, joined alfo with confort of mufic, whereby it may 
 more fweetly infinuate itfelf; it hath won fuch accefs, 
 that it hath been in eiliuiation even in rude times, and 
 barbarous nations, when our learning flood excluded." 
 
 16. 'But there is nothing which favours and falls yi 
 with this natural greatnels and dignity of human nature 
 fo much as religion, which does not only promife the 
 entire refinement of the mind, but the glorifying of the 
 body, and the immortality of both. 
 
 CUSTOM A SECOND NATURE. 
 
 i. J. HERE is not a common faying which has a bet- 
 ter turn of fenfe in it, than what we often hear in the, 
 mouths of the vulgar, that ^uftdiu is a fecond nature. 
 
 It
 
 IJJ THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 It is indeed able to form the man anew, and give him 
 inclinations and capacities altogether different from thole 
 he was born with. 
 
 2. Dr. Plot, in hishiftory of Stafford/hire, tells of an 
 idiot, that chancing to live within the found of a clock, 
 and always amufmg hiiuielf with counting the hour of 
 the day whenever the clock ftruck j the clock being 
 fpoiled by fome accident, the idiot continued to flrike 
 and count the hour without the help of it, in the fame 
 manner as he had done when it was entire. 
 
 3. Though I dare not vouch for the truth of this 
 ftory, it is very certain that cuftom has a mechanical ef- 
 fect upon the body, at the fame time that it has a very 
 extraordinary influence upon the mind. 
 
 4. I fliall in this paper confider one very remaikable 
 effect which cuftom has upon human nature j and which 
 if rightly obferved, may lead us into very ufeful rules of 
 life. What I fliall here take notice of in cuftom, is its 
 wonderful efficacy in making every thing pleafant to us. 
 
 5. A perfon who is addicted to play or gaming, 
 though he took but little delight in it at firft, by degrees 
 contracts fo ftrong an inclination towards it, and gives 
 hi-.nfelf up fo entirely to it, that it feems the only end of 
 his being. The love of a retired. or bufy life will grow 
 upon a man infenfibly, as he is converfant in the one or 
 the other, till he is utterly unqualified for relifhing 
 that to which he has been for fome time difufed. 
 
 6. Nay, a man may fmoak or drink, or take fnuff, 
 till he is unable to pafs away his time without it ; not to 
 mention how our delight in any particular ftudy, art or 
 fcience, rifes and improves in proper: ion to the applica- 
 tion which we beflow upon it. 1 hus what was at firft 
 an exercife, becomes at length an entertainment. 
 Our employ meats aie charged into diverfions. The 
 
 mind
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. 133 
 
 mind grows fond of thofe actions it is accuftomed to, 
 und is \Jrawn uith reluftancy from thole paths in which 
 it has been ufed to walk. 
 
 7. Not only fuch actions as were at firft indifferent to 
 us, but even inch as were painful, will by cuftoin and 
 practice become pleafant. 
 
 8. Sir Francis Bacon obferves in his natural philolb- 
 phy, that our tafte is never better pleafed than with 
 thofe things which at firft created a difgull in it. He 
 gives particular inftances of claret, coffee, and other 
 liquors, which the palate feldom approves upon the firft 
 tafte ; but when it has once got a relifh of them, gene- 
 rally retains it for life. The mind is conftituted after 
 the fame manner, and after having habituated itfelf to 
 any particular exercife or employment, not only lofes its 
 firft' averfi on towards it, but conceives a certain fortd- 
 nefs and affection for it. 
 
 9. I have heard one of the greateft genuifes this age 
 has produced, who had been trained up in all the polite 
 ftudies of antiquity, afiure me, upon his being obliged 
 to fearch into leveral rolls and records, that notwith- 
 ftanding fuch aa employment was at firft very dry and 
 irkfome to him, he at laft took an incredible pleafurc 
 in it, and preferred it even to the reading of Virgil op 
 Cicero. 
 
 10. The reader will obferve, that I have not here 
 coniidered cuftom as it makes things eafy, but as it ren- 
 ders them delightful ; and though others have often 
 made the fame reflection, it is pofllble they may not have 
 drawn thofe ufes from it, with which 1 intend to fill the 
 remaining part of this paper. 
 
 11. If we confider attentively this property of human 
 nature.it may inftructusin very fine moralities. Inthefiift 
 place, I would have no man difcouraged with that kind 
 
 x of
 
 IJ4 THE -GENTLEMAN AMD L A DY'S MONITOR, 
 
 of life or feries of acVions, in v/hich the choice, of others 
 or his own neceflities may have engaged him. It may 
 perhaps be very difagreeable to him at firft; but ufe and 
 application will certainly render it not only lefs painful, 
 but pleafing and fatisfa&ory. 
 
 12. In the fecond place, 1 would recommend to eve- 
 ry one the admirable precept which Py;hagoras is faid 
 to have given to his dilciples, and which that philofopher 
 mull have drawn from the obfervation I have enlarged 
 upon : Opiituutn vita? genus eligito, nain confuetudo fccist 
 jufundijfimum, pitch upon that courfe of life which is 
 the moft excellent, and cuftom will render it the moft 
 delightful. 
 
 13. Men, whofe circumttances will permit them to 
 choofe their own way of life, are inexcusable if they do 
 not purfue that which their judgment tslls them is the 
 moft laudable. The voice of reafon is more to be re- 
 garded than the bent of any prefent inclination, fince by 
 the rule above-mentioned, inclination will at length 
 come over to reafon, though we can never force rcalon 
 to comply with inclination. 
 
 14. In the third place, this obfervation may teach 
 the moll fenfual and irreligious man to overlook thote 
 Irardihips and difficulties, which are apt to difcourage 
 him from the prolecutionof a virtuous life. The gods, 
 laid Hefiod, have placed labour before virtue ; the way 
 to her is at firft rough and difficult, but grows more 
 fmooth and eafy the farther you advance in it. The 
 man who proceeds in it, with fteadinefs and refolution, 
 will in a little time find that her ways are ways of plea- 
 faiitnefs, and that all her paths are peace. 
 
 15. To enforce this confideration, we may further 
 obferve, that the practice of religion will not only be at- 
 tended with that plealure, which naturally accompanies 
 
 ihofe
 
 AND EKGltlSH TEACH EPv's ASSISTANT. 155 
 
 thofe actions to which we are habituated, but with thofe 
 fupernurnerary joys of heart, that ariie from theconfci- 
 ouinefs of luch a pleafure, from the fatisfaction of 
 acting up to the dictates of reafon, and from the prof- 
 pect of an happy imuiortaKty. 
 
 16. In the fourth place, we may learn from this ob- 
 fervation which we have made on the mind of man, to 
 take particular care, when we are once fettled in a re- 
 gular courle of life, how we too frequently indulge our- 
 feivesin any of the moft innocent diverfions and enter- 
 tainments, fince the mind may infenfibly fall off from 
 the reiifli of virtuous actiorts, and by degrees, exchange 
 that pieafure which it takes in the performance of its 
 duty, for delights of a much more inferior and unprofit- 
 abie nature. 
 
 17. The laft ufe which I fliall make of this remark- 
 able property in human nature, of being delighted with 
 thofe actions to which it is accuftomed, is to fliew how 
 abfolutcly necefiary it is for us to gain habits of virtue ia 
 this life, if we would enjoy the pleafures of the next. 
 
 1 8. The ftate of blifs we call heaven, will not be ca- 
 pable of affecting thofe mipds, which are not thus quali- 
 fied for it ; we muft, in this world, gain a relifh of 
 truth and virtue, if we would be able to tafle that know- 
 ledge and perfection which are to make us happy in the 
 next. The feeds of thofe fpiritual joys and raptures, 
 which are to rife up and flourifli in the foul to all eterni- 
 ty, muft be planted in it, during this its prefent ftate of 
 probation. In fliort, heaven is not to be looked upon only 
 ss the reward, but as the natural effect of a religious life. 
 
 19. On the other hand, thofe evil fpirits, who, by 
 longcuftom, have contracted in the body, habits of luft, 
 fenfuality, malice and revenge, an averfion to every 
 thing that is good, juft, or laudable, are naturally fea- 
 
 N a foned
 
 136 THE GENTLEMAN AND L A DY'S MONITOR, 
 
 foned and prepared for pain and mifery. Their tor- 
 ments have already taken root in them, they cannot be 
 happy when diverted of the body unlefs we may fuppofe, 
 that Providence will in a manner, create them anew, and 
 work a miracle in the ratification of their faculties. 
 
 20. They may, indeed, tafte a kind of malignant 
 pleafure in thofe aclions to which they are accuftomed, 
 whilft in this life ; but when they are removed from all 
 thofe objects which are here apt to gratify them, they 
 will naturally become their own tormentors, and cherifli 
 in themfelves thofe painful habits of mind which are call- 
 ed in fcripture phrafe, the worm which never dies. 
 
 21. This notion of heaven and hell, is fo very con- 
 formable to the light of nature, that it was difcovered by 
 feveral of the moft exalted heathens. It has been finely 
 improved by many eminent divines of the laft age, as in 
 particular by Archbifliop Tillotfon and Dr. Sherlcck ; 
 but there i^ none who has raifed fuch noble fpeculations 
 upon it as Dr. Scott, in the firft book of his Chriftian 
 Life, which is one of the fined and moft rational fchffmes 
 of divinity, that is written in our tongue, or any other. 
 That excellent author has fliewn how every particular 
 cuftom and habit of virtue will, in its own nature, pro- 
 duce the heaven, or a ftate of happinefs, in him who 
 fhall hereafter praftife it : as on the contrary, how eve- 
 ry cuftom or habit of vice will be the natural hell of 
 him in whom it -fubfifts, 
 
 ON
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 137 
 
 ON CLEANLINESS. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO. 6$l. 
 
 i. 1 HAD occafion to go a few miles out of town, 
 fomedays fince in a ftage coach, where I had for my fel- 
 low-travellers a dirty beau, and a pretty young Quaker- 
 woman. 'Having no inclination to talk much at that 
 time, I placed myfelf backward with adefign to turvey 
 them, and pick a fpeculation out of my two companions. 
 Their different figures were fufHcient of themfelves to 
 draw my attention. 
 
 2. Trie gentleman was dreffed in a fuir, the ground 
 whereof had been blaclc, as I perceived from fome few 
 fpaces th?,t had efcaped the powder, which was incorporat- 
 ed with the grea left part of his coat ; his perriwig, which 
 coft no fma{ 1 finn, was after fo flovenly a manner caft 
 over his fhoulders, that it feemed not to have been 
 combed fince the year 1712 ; his linen, which' was not 
 niach concealed, was daubed with plain Spaniili frorn. 
 the chin to the lowed button, and the diamond upon his 
 finger (which naturally dreaded the water) put me in 
 mind how it'fparkled amidft the rubbifli of the mine, 
 where it was firft difcovered. 
 
 3. On the other hand, the pretty Quaker appeared fn 
 all the elegance of cleanlincfs. Not a fpcck vras to be 
 found on her. A clear, clean oval face, juft edged a- 
 bout with little thin plaits of the pureft cambrick, receiv- 
 ed great advantages from the fhade of her bteck hood ; 
 as did the whitehels of her arms from that fober-coloured 
 fluff, in which fhe had cloathed herfelf. The piainnefs 
 of her drefs was very well fuited to the fimplicity of her 
 phrafes, all which put together, though they could not 
 give me. a great opinion of her religion, they did of her 
 innocence. N 3 4. Th-s
 
 138 THE CENTLIMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 4. This adventure occasioned my throwing together 
 a Tew hints upon Cleanlinefs, which I fhall confider as 
 one of the half-virtues, as Ariftotle calls them, and fhall 
 recommend it under the three following heads. As it 
 is a mark of politenefs ; as it produces love ; and as it 
 bears analogy to purity cf mind. 
 
 5. Firft, it is a mark of politenefs. It is univerfally a- 
 greed upon, that no one, unadorned with this virtue, 
 can go into company without giving a manifeft offence. 
 The eafier or higher any one's fortune is, this duty rifes 
 proportionally. The different nations of the world are 
 ss much diflinguifhed by their cleanlinefs, as by their arts 
 and fciences. The more any country is civilized, the 
 more they confult this part of politenefs. We need but 
 compare our ideas of a female Hottentot with an Engliih 
 beauty to be fatisfied with the truth of what hath been 
 advanced. 
 
 6. In the next place, cleanlinefs may be faid to be 
 the fofter-mother of love. Beauty indeed, moft com- 
 monly produces that pailion in the mind, but cleanlinefs 
 preferves it. An indifferent face and perfon kept ip per- 
 petual neatnefs, hath won many a heart from a pretty 
 flattern. Age itfelf is not unamiable, while it is preferv- 
 ed clean and unfullied ; like a piece of metal conftantly 
 kept fmooth and bright, we look on it with more plea- 
 fure than on a new vefleHhat is cankered with rufl. 
 
 7. I might obferve further, that as cleanlinefs rend- 
 ers us agreeable to others, fo it makes us eafy to our- 
 feves; that it is an excellent prefervative of health ; and 
 that feveral vices, deftrudtive both to mind and body, 
 are inconfiftent with the habit of it. But thefe reflec- 
 tions I fhall leave to the leifure of my readers, and fhall 
 obferve in the third place, that it bears a greaj analogy 
 with purity of mind, and naturally infpires refined fenti- 
 ments and paffions. 8. W
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 139 
 
 8. We find from experience, that through the preva- 
 lence of cuftom, the nioft vicious actions lofe their hor- 
 ror, by being made familiar to us. On the contrary, 
 thofe who live in the neighbourhood of good examples 
 fly from the firft appearances of what is fliocking. It 
 fares with us much after the fame manner as our ideas. 
 Our fenfes, which are the inlets to all the images convey- 
 ed to the mind, can only tranfmit the impreflion of fuch 
 things as ufually furround them. So that pure and 
 unfullied thoughts are naturally fuggelled to the mind, 
 by thofe objeds that perpetually encompals us, when 
 they are beautiful and elegant in their kind. 
 
 9. In the eaft, where the warmth of the climate 
 makes cleanlinefs more immediately neceflary than in 
 colder countries, it is made one part of their religion: 
 the Jewifh law (and the Mahometan, which in fome 
 things copies after it) is filled with bathings, purifications, 
 and other rites of the like nature. Though there is the 
 above-named convenient reafon to be affigned for thefe 
 ceremonies, the chief intention undoubtedly was to ty- 
 pify inward purity and cleanlinefs of heart by thofe out- 
 ward waftiings. 
 
 10. We read feveral injunctions of this kind in the 
 book of Deuteronomy, which confirm this truth; and 
 which are but ill accounted for by faying as fome do, 
 that they were only inftituted for convenience in the de- 
 fert, which otherways could not have been habitable for 
 fo many years. 
 
 11. I fftall conclude this eflay, with a ftory which I 
 have lomewhere read in an account of Mahometan fuper- 
 ftition. A Dervife of great fandtity one morning had 
 the misfortune as he took up a cryftal rup, which was 
 confecrated to the prophet, to let it fall upon the 
 ground, and dafli it in pieces. His fon coining in fome 
 
 time
 
 l^O THE GEKTI.EMAN AND LADYS MONITOR, 
 
 time ?.fter, he ftretched out his hand to blefs him, as his 
 manner was every morning ; but the youth going out 
 (tumbled over the threiholti and broke his arm. As the 
 old man wondered at thefe events, a caravan pafied by 
 in its way from Mecca. The Dervile Approached it to 
 beg a blefling ; but as he ftroaked one of the -holy cnmels, 
 'he received a kick From the beaft, that forely bruifed 
 him. His forrow and amazement encreafed upon him, 
 till he recollected that through hurry and inadvertency 
 he had that morning come abroad without waiting his 
 hands. 
 
 THE ADVANTAGES OF A GOOD 
 EDUCATION. 
 
 >. 
 
 1. I CONSIDER an human foul without education 
 like marble in the quarry, which fhews none of its in- 
 herent beauties, until the (kill of the polifher fetche$ 
 out the colours, makes the furface fhine, and chfcovers 
 every ornamental cloud, fpot, ar.d vein, that runs 
 through the body of it. Education, after the fame man- 
 ner, when it works upon a noble mind, draws out to 
 view every latent virtue and perfection, which, without 
 fuch helps, are never able to make their appearance. 
 
 2. If my reader will give me leave to change the al- 
 lufion fo foon upon him, I fliall make ufe of the fame 
 inftancc to illuftrate the force of education, which Arif- 
 totle has brought to explain his doftine of Subllantial 
 Forms, when he tells us that a ftatue lies hid in a block 
 of marble; and that the art of the ftatuary only clears 
 away the fuperfluous matter, and removes the rubbifh. 
 
 The
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACH ER'S ASSIST A N-T. 14! 
 
 The figure is in the ftone, the Sculptor only finds it. 
 What fculpture is to a block of marble, education is to 
 an human foul. 
 
 3. The philofopher, the faint, or the hero, the wile, 
 the good, or the great man, very often lie hicl and con- 
 cealed in a plebeian, which a proper education might 
 have difmterred, and have brought to light. I am there- 
 fore much delighted with reading the accounts of favage 
 nations, and with contemplating thofe virtues which are 
 wild and uncultivated ; to fee courage exerting itlelf in 
 fiercenefs, refolution in obdinacy, wifdoni in cunning, 
 patience in fullennefs and defpair. 
 
 4. Men's pallions operate variously, and appear in 
 different kinds of actions, according as they are more or 
 lefs rectified and fwayed by reafon. When one hears of 
 negroes, who upon the death of their mafters, or upon 
 changing their fervice, hang themfelves upon the next 
 tree, as it frequently happens in our American planta- 
 tions j who can forbear admiring their fidelity, though 
 it exprefles itfelf in fo dreadful a manner? 
 
 5. What might not that favagegreatnefsof foul which 
 appears in thefe poor wretches on many occafions, be 
 raifed to, were it rightly cultivated ? and what colour 
 of excufe can there be for the contempt with which we 
 treat this part of our fpecies ? that we fiiould not put 
 them on the common foot of humanity ; that we ihould 
 only fet an infignificant fine on the man who murders 
 them ; nay, that we fliould, as much as in us lies, cut 
 them off from the profpeds of happinefs in another world, 
 as well as in this, and deny them that which we look up- 
 on as the proper means for attaining it. ! 
 
 6. It is therefore an unfpeakable blefling to be born in 
 thofe parts of the world where wifdom and knowledge 
 flouriJlif though it nmft be conftfled there are, even- in 
 
 thefe
 
 142 THE GENTLEMAN AND I,ADY S MONITOR, 
 
 thefe parts, fevera! poor uninftrufted perfons, who are but 
 little above the inhabitants of thofe nations of which I 
 have been here fpeaking ; as thofe who have had the 
 advantages of a more liberal education, rife above one 
 another by feveral different degrees of perfection. 
 
 7. For to return to our ft Uue, in the block of marble, 
 we fee it ibmetimes only begun to be chipped, fome- 
 times rotfgh-hewn, and but jnft fketched into an human 
 figure ; fometimes we fee the man appearing diftinft'y 
 in all his limbs and features ; fomctimes we find 1 the fi- 
 gures wrought up to a great elegancy, but feldom meet 
 with any to which the hand of a Phidias or Praxiteles 
 could not give feveral nice tquches and finifhings. 
 
 LEARNING, A NECESSARY ACCOMPLISH- 
 MENT IN A WOMAN OF QUALITY 
 OR' FORTUNE. 
 
 I 
 
 GUARDIAN, KO. 155. 
 
 HAVE often wondered that learning is not 
 thought a proper ingredient in the education of a woman 
 of quality or fortune. Since they have the fame im- 
 provable minds as the male part of the fpecies, why 
 fliould they not be cultivated by tha fame method ? 
 Why fliould reafon be left to itfelf in one of the fcxes, 
 and be difcplined with fo much care in the other ? 
 
 2. There are fome reafons why learning foems more 
 adapted to the female world than to the male. As in 
 the firft place, becaufe they have more fpare time upon 
 iheir hands and lead a more fcdcntary life. Their em- 
 ployments
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. 143 
 
 ployments are of a domeftic nature, and not like thofe of 
 the other fex, which are often inconfiltent with ftudy and 
 contemplation. 
 
 3. The excellent lady, the iady Lizard, in the fpaceof 
 one fummer furniflied a gallery with chairs and couches 
 of her own and her daughter's working ; and 7 at the fame 
 time he<ird all Dr. Tillotfon'i fermons twice over. It 
 is always the cuftom for one of the ycung ladies to read, 
 while the others are at work ; fo that the learning of 
 the family is> not at all prejudicial to its manufactures. 
 
 4. I was mightily plealed the other day to find them 
 all bufy in preferving feveral fruits of the feafon, with 
 the Sparkler in the midftof them, reading over * The 
 Plurality of worlds.' It was very entertaining to me to 
 fee theai dividing their fpeculations between jellies and 
 liars, and making a fudden tranfition from the fun to an. 
 apricot, or from the Copernican fyftem to the figure of 
 a cheefe cake. 
 
 5. A fecond reafon why women fhould apply them- 
 felves to ufeful knowledge rather than men, is becaule 
 tiiey have that natural gift of fpeech in greater perfec- 
 tion. Since they have fo excellent a talent, luch a co- 
 pia <verborum, or plenty of words, it is pity they lliould 
 not put it to fbme ufe. If the female tongue will be in 
 motion, why fhould it not be fet to right ? Could they 
 difcourfe about the fpotsin the fun, U might divert them 
 from publilhing the faults of .their neighbours. Could 
 they talk of the different afpefts and conjunctions of the 
 pianets, they need not be at the pains to comment upon 
 oglings and clandestine marriages. In fliort, were they 
 furniihed with matters of fat, out of arts ajid Iciences, 
 it would now and then be of great ufe to their invention. 
 
 6. There is another reafon why thofe efpecially who 
 are women of quality, fhould apply themfelves to let- 
 
 ters,
 
 I4J. THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ters, namely, becaufe their huftnnds are generally {Iran- 
 gers to them. It is great pity there fhould be no know- 
 ledge in a family. For my own part, I am concerned 
 when 1 go into a great houfe, where perhaps there is not 
 a (ingle perfon that can fpell, uniels it be by chance the 
 butler, or one of the footmen. What a figure is the 
 young heir likely to make, who is a dunce both by fa- 
 ther and mother's fide ? 
 
 7. If we look into the hiftories of famous women, we 
 find many eminent philofophers of this lex. Nay, we find 
 that feveral females have diftinguifhed thenifelves in 
 thofe feels of philofophy which fee;n almoft repugnant 
 to their natures. There have been famous female Py- 
 thagoreans, notwithftanding moil of that philofophy 
 confided in keeping a fecret, and that the difciple was to 
 hold her tongue five years together. 
 
 8. Learning and knowledge are perfections in us, not 
 as we are men, but as we are reafonable creatures, in 
 which order of beings the female world is upon the fame 
 level with the male. We ought to confider in this par- 
 ticular, not what is the fex, but what is the fpecics to 
 which they belong. At leaft, I believe every one will 
 allow me that a female philofopher is not foabfurda 
 character and fo oppofite to the fex, as a female game- 
 fter; and that it is more irrational for a woman topafs 
 away half a dozen hours at cards or dice, than in get* 
 ting up ftores cf ufcful learning. 
 
 9. This therefore is another reafon why I would re- 
 commend the ftudies of knowledge to the femalfe world, 
 that they may not be at a lofs how to employ thofe hours 
 that lie upon their hands. 
 
 10. I might alfo add this motive to my fair readers, 
 that feveral of their fex, who have improved their minds 
 by books ancf literature, have raifed themfelves to the 
 
 high eft
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 145 
 
 higheft pofts of honour and fortune. A neighbouring 
 nation may at this time furnifli us with a very remarka- 
 ble inftance of this kind ; but I fliall conclude this head 
 with the hiftory of Athenais, which is a very fignal ex- 
 ample to my prefent purpoie. 
 
 1 1. The emperor Theodofius being about the age of 
 one and twenty, and defigning to take a wife, defired 
 his fitter Pulcheria and his friend Paulinus to feareh his 
 whole empire for a worran of the moft exquifite beauty 
 and higheft accompiifliments. In the mid ft of this 
 tearch, Athenais, a Grecian virgin, accidentally offer- 
 ed herfclf. Her father, who was an eminent philofo- 
 pher of Athens, and had bred her up in all the learning 
 of that place, at his death left her but a very fmall por- 
 tion, in which alfo ftie fuffered great hard/hips from the 
 injuftice of her two brothers. 
 
 12. This forced her upon a journey to conftantinople, 
 where fhe had a relation who reprefented her cafe to 
 Pirlcheria, in order to obtain fome redrefs from the em- 
 peror. By this means that religious princefs became ac- 
 quainted with Athenais, whom ihe found the moft beau- 
 tiful woman of her age, and educated under a long 
 courfe of philofophy in the ftridleft virtue, and moft un- 
 fpotted innocence. 
 
 13. Pulcheria was charmed with her converfation, 
 jiqd immediately made her report to the emperor her 
 brother Theodofius. The char-after Hie gave made fuch 
 an impreifion on him, that he defired his fitter to bring 
 her away immediately to the lodgings of his friend Pau- 
 linus, where he found her beauty and her convcrfation 
 beyond the higheft idea he had framed of them. 
 
 14. His friend Paulinus converted her to chriftianityi 
 and gave her the nameof Eudofk; after which the emper- 
 or publicly efpoufed her, and enjoyed all the happiness
 
 146 THE GENTLEMAN AKD L A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 in his marriage which he prcniifed himfelf from fuch a 
 virtuous and learned bride. She not only forgave the 
 injuries which her two b. 1 others had done her, but raifed 
 them to great honours; und by feveral works of learn- 
 ing, as well as by an exemplary life, made herfelf fo 
 deal to the whole empire, that ilie had many ttatues 
 erefted to her memory, and is celebrated by the fathers 
 of the church as an ornament of her lex. 
 
 "ON THE ABSURDITY OF OMENS. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO. 7. 
 
 I . VJOING yefterday to dine with an old acquaintance, 
 1 had the misfortune to find his whole family very much, 
 dejected. Upon afking him the cccafion of it, he told 
 me that his wile had dreamt a very ftrange dream the 
 night before, which they were afraid portended fome 
 misfortune to themfelves, or to their children. At her 
 coming into the room, I obferved a fettled melancholy 
 in her countenance, which I fliouldjiave been troubled 
 for, had 1 net heard from whence it proceeded. 
 
 2. We were no fooner fat down, but after having 
 looked upon me a little while, ' My dear,' fays fhe, 
 turning to her hufband, ' you may now fee the ftranger 
 that was in the candle laft night.' Soon alter this, as 
 they began to talk of family affairs, a little boy at the 
 lower end of the table toid her, that he was to go 
 into joining-hand on Thurfday: * Thurfday !' fays fiie, 
 ' no child, if it pleafe God, you rtiall not begin on chil- 
 dermas-day; tell your writing- mailer that Friday will 
 bs foon enough.' 
 
 3- I
 
 AND E NGLISH T E A C H ER S ASSISTANT. T^/ 
 
 3. I was reflecting with myfelf on the oddnefs of hef 
 fancy, and wondering that any body would eftablifh it 
 as a rule to lofe a day in every week. Irr the midft of 
 thefe my mufhigs, fhe defired me to reach her a little 
 fait upon the point of my knife, which I did in fuch a 
 trepidation and hurry of obedience, that I let it drop by 
 the way ; at which fhe immediately ftartled, and faid it 
 fell towards her. Upon this! looked very blank; and 
 oblcrving the concern cf the whole table, began to con- 
 fkler myfelf, with fome confufion, as a perfon that had 
 brought n difafter upon the family. 
 
 4. The lady, however, recovering herfelt, after a 
 little fpace faid to her hufband with a figh, ' My dear, 
 misfortunes never come (ingle. *~ My friend, I found, 
 afted but an under part at histable, and being a man 
 of more good nature than underftanding, thinks himfelf 
 obliged to fall in with all the paffions and humours of his 
 yoke-fellow. * Do you remember, child/ fays fhe, 
 ' that the pigeon-houfe fell the very afternoon that our 
 cartlefs \vench fpilt the fait upon the table ?' . * Yes,' 
 fays he, * my dear, and the next po-ft brought us an ac- 
 count of the battle of Almanza.' 
 
 5. The reader may guefs at the figure I made, after 
 having done all this mifchief. I difpatched my dinner, 
 ssfoon as I could, with my ufual taciturnity ; when, to my 
 utter confufion, the lady feeing me quitting my knife and 
 fork, and laying them acrofs one another upon my plate, 
 defired me that I would humour her fo far as to take 
 them out of that figure, and place them fide by fide. 
 
 6. What the abfurdity was which I had committed I 
 did not know, but I fuppofe there was fome traditionary 
 fuperftition in it ; and therefore, in obedience to the lady 
 of the houfe, 1 difpofed of my knife and fork in two pa- 
 rallel .lines, vsliich is a figure I fhail always lay them in 
 
 o 2 for
 
 148 TMR GENTLEMAN AND LADY*5 MONITOR, 
 
 for the future, though I do not know any reafon for it. 
 
 7. It is not difficult for a man to fee that a perfon has 
 conceived an averfion to him. For my own part, I 
 quickly found by the lady's looks, that (he regarded me 
 as a very odd kind of fellow with an unfortunate afpeft ; 
 for which reafon 1 took my leave immediately after din- 
 
 Tier, and withdrew to my lodgings. 
 
 8. Upon ray return home, I fell into a profound con- 
 templation on the evils that attend thefe fuperftitious fol- 
 lies of mankind ; how they fubject us to imaginary a- 
 fli&ions, and additional forrows, that do not properly 
 come within our lot. As if the natural calamities of life 
 were not fufficient for it, we turn the moft indifferent 
 circumftances into misfortunes, and fuffer as much from 
 trifling accidents, as from real evils. 
 
 9. 1 have known the {hooting of a ftar fpoil a night's 
 reft ; and have feen a man in love grow pale and lofe 
 his appetite, upon the plucking of a merry- thought. A 
 fcreech-owl at midnight has alarmed a family more than 
 a band of robbers ; nay, the voice of a cricket hath 
 ftruck more terror than the roaring of a lion. 
 
 10. There is nothing fo inconfiderabie, which may 
 not appear dreadful to an imagination that is filled with 
 omens and prognoftics. A rufty nail, or crooked pin, 
 {hoot up into prodigies. 
 
 it. 1 remember I was once in a mixt afiembly, that 
 was full of noife and mirth, when on a fudden, an old 
 woman unluckily obferved there were thirteen of us in 
 company. This remark flruck a panic terror intofeve- 
 ral who were prefent, infomuch that one or two of the 
 ladies were going to leave the room ; but a friend of 
 mine taking notice that one of our female companions 
 was big with child, affirmad there were fourteen in the 
 room, and that tnftead of portending one of the company 
 
 iliould
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 149 
 
 ftiould die, it plainly foretold one of them fhould be 
 born Had not my friend found cut this expedient to 
 break the omen, I qucltioned not but half the women in 
 the company would have fallen fick that very night. 
 
 12 An old maid that is troubled with the vapours, 
 produces infinite dilturbances of this kind among her 
 friends and neighbours; I know a maiden aunt, of a 
 great family, who is one of tliefe antiquated Sybils, that 
 forebodes and prophecies from ojie end of the year to the 
 other. She is always feeing apparitions, and hearing 
 death-watches ; and was the other day almott frightened 
 out of her wits by the great houfe-dog, that howled in 
 the fiabie at a time when fhe lay ill of the tooth-ach. 
 
 13. Such an extravagant caft of mind engages multi- 
 tudes of people not only in- impertinent teirors, but in 
 fupernumerary duties of life ; and arifes from that fear 
 and ignorant* wh ch are natural to the foul of man. 
 
 14. The -horror with which we entertain the thoughts 
 of death, (or indeed of any future evil) and the uncer- 
 tainty of its approach, fill a melancholy mind with in- 
 numerable apprehenfions and fufpicions, and confequent- 
 ly difpofe it to the obfervati-jn of fuch groL'miie's prodi- 
 gies and predictions. For as it is the chief concern of 
 v ife men, to retrench the evils of life by the reafonings 
 of philofophy ; it is the employment of fools to multi- 
 ply, them by the fentiments of fupertlition. 
 
 15. For my own part, 1. fliould be very mucluroub- 
 led were I endowed with this divining quality, though 
 it iliculd inform me truly of every thing that can. befal 
 me. I would not anticipate the relifli of any happinels, 
 nor feel the weight cf any mifery, before it actually ar- 
 rives. 
 
 16. I know but one way of fortifying my foul agaitul 
 thcfe gloomy prefages and terrors of imjjd ; and that i*, 
 
 o 3 I;/
 
 lO THE GKNTLIMAN AND L A DY'S MONITOR, 
 
 by fecuring to rayfelf the friendfliip and protection of 
 that Being, who difpofes of events, and governs futurity. 
 He fees, at one view, the whole thread of my exiftence, 
 not only that part of it which I have already parted 
 through, but that which runs forward into all the depths 
 of eternity. 
 
 17. When I lay me down to fieep, I recommend my- 
 felf to his care } when I awake, I give myfelf up to his 
 direction. Amidft all the evils that threaten me, I will 
 look up to him for help, and queftion not but he will 
 either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. 
 Though 1 know neither the time nor the manner of the 
 dea'.h I am to die, J am not at all felicitous about it ; 
 becaufe I am fure that he knows them both, and that 
 he will not fail to comfort and fupport me under them. 
 
 A GOOD CONSCIENCE THE BEST SECU- 
 RITY AGAINST CALUMNY AND 
 REPROACH. 
 
 GUARDIAN, NO. 135. 
 
 i. A GOOD confcience is to the foul what health is 
 to the body ; it preferves a conftant eafe and ferenity 
 within us ; and more than countervails all the calami- 
 ties and afflictions which can pofTibiy befal us. I know 
 nothing fo hard for a generous mind to get over as ca- 
 lumny and reproach, and cannot find any method of 
 quieting the foul under them, befides this fingle one, of 
 our being confcious to ourfelves that we do not deferve 
 them. 
 
 2. I have been always mightily pleafed with that paf- 
 fage in Don Quixotic, where the fantaftical knight is 
 
 rcpre-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 151 
 
 reprefented as loading a gentleman of good fenfe with 
 praifes and elogiums. Upon which the gentleman 
 makes this reflection to himfelf: How grateful is praife 
 to human nature ! 
 
 3. I cannot forbear being fecretly pleafed with the 
 commendations I receive, though I am fenfible it is a 
 madman that beftows them on me. In the fame manner, 
 though we are often fure that thecenfurcs which are paf- 
 fed upon us are uttered by thofe who know nothing of 
 us, and have neither means nor abilities to form a right 
 judgment of us, we cannot forbear being grieved at what 
 they 'lay. 
 
 4. In order to heal this infirmity, which is fo natural 
 to the beft and wifeftofmen, I have taken a particular 
 pleafure in obferving the conduct of the old philofophers, 
 how they bore themfelves up againft the malice and de- 
 traction of their enemies. 
 
 5~. The way to filence calumny, fays Bias, is to be 
 always exercifed in iuch things as are praife-worthy. 
 Socrates, after having received fentence, told his friends, 
 that he had always accuftomed himfelf to regard truth 
 and not cenfure. and that he was not troubled at his 
 condemnation, becaule he knew himfelf free from guilt. 
 It was in the fame fpirit that he heard the accufationsof 
 his two great adverfaries, who had uttered againft him 
 the moft virulent reproaches. 
 
 6. Anytus and Melitus, fays he, may procure fen- 
 tence againft me, but they cannot hurt me. This di- 
 vine philofopher was fo well fortified in his own inno- 
 cence, that he neglected all the impotence of evil tongues 
 which were engaged in his deftruction. This was pro- 
 perly the fupport of a good confcience, that contradicted 
 the reports which had been railed againft him, and cfear- 
 ed him to himfelf. 
 
 7. Others
 
 152 THE GENTLEMAN A N D L A D Y*S MO IMT-0 R , 
 
 7. Others of the philofopbers rather chofe to retort 
 tlx- injury by a fniart reply, than thus to i.ifann it with 
 
 j-efpefl to themfelves. They fhew that it Hung them, 
 though at the fame time they had the addrefs to make 
 their aggreficrs luffer with them. Of this kind is Arif- 
 tollc's reply to one who purfued him with long anci bit- 
 ter invectives. You, fays he, who are ufcvl to fuifcr re- 
 proaches, utter them with delight; I, who have not 
 been ufed to utter them, take no pleaftire in healing them. 
 
 8. Diogenes was ftili mote fevere on one who fpoke 
 ill of him ; Nobody will believe you when you (peak ill 
 of me, any more than they would believe me fliould I 
 Ipeak well of you. 
 
 In thefe and n any other inftnnces I couid produce, 
 the bitternefs of the nnfwer fufficiently tefiines the unea- 
 fim-fs of mind the peifon was under who made it. 
 
 g. I would rather advife my reader, if he has not in 
 this cafe the fecret confola'tion, that he deferves no fuch 
 reproaches as are caft upon him, to follow the advice oi" 
 Epicletus; If any one fpeaks ill of thee, confider whe- 
 ther he has truth on his fide ; und if fo, reform thyfelf, 
 that his cenfures may not affect thee.. 
 
 10. When Anaximander was told that the very boys 
 laughed at his finging: Ay, lays he, then I muft learn to 
 fing better. ' But of all the fajings of philosophers which 
 1 have gathered together for my own ufe on this occa- 
 fion, ;here are none which carry in them more candour 
 and good fenle thun ihe two following ones of Plato. 
 
 1 1 . Being told that he had many enemies who fpoke 
 ill of him : Jt is no matter, faid he, I will live fo that 
 none /hall believe them. Hearing at another time, that 
 an intimate friend of his had Ipoken detraclingly of him: 
 I am fuie he would not do it, fays he, if he had not 
 fojne reafon for it. 
 
 iz. This
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 153 
 
 12. This is the fureft as well as the nobleft way of 
 drawing the fting out of a reproach, and a true method 
 of preparing a man for that great and only relief againft 
 the pains of calumny, * a good confcience.' 
 
 13. I deiigned in this elTay, to iliew. that there is.no 
 happinefs wanting to him who is poffefled of this excel- 
 lent frame of mind, and that no perfon can be miferable 
 who is in the enjoyment of it ; but 1 find this fubjecl; 
 fo well treated in one of Dr. b'outh's Sermons, that I 
 iliall fill this Saturday's paper with a paflage of it, which 
 cannot but make the man's heart burn within him, who 
 reads it with due attention. 
 
 14. That admirable author, having fhewn the virtue 
 of a good confcience, in fupporting a man, under the 
 greateft trials and difficulties of life, concludes with re- 
 prefenting its force and efficacy in the hour of death. 
 
 15. " The third and laft inftance, hi which above ail 
 others this confidence towards God does moft eminent- 
 ly fliew and exert itfelf, is at the time of death j which 
 furely gives the grand opportunity of trying both the 
 flrength and worth of every principle. 
 
 16. " When a man fhall bejuftubout to quit the 
 ftage of this world, to put off his mortality, and to de- 
 Jiver up his lad accounts to God ; at which fad time his 
 memory fliall ferve him for little elfe, but to terrify him 
 with a frightful review of his pad life, and his former 
 extravagancies ftripped of all their pleafure, but retain- 
 ing their guilt. What is it then that can proniife him 
 a fair paiTage into the other world, or a comfortable ap- 
 pearance before his dreadful judge when he is there ? 
 
 17. " Not all the friends and interelts, all the riches 
 and honours under heaven can fpeak fo much as a word 
 for him, or one word of comfort to him in that condition ; 
 they may poflibly reproach, but they cannot relieve him. 
 
 18. " No,
 
 154 THE GENTLEMAN AND L A DY S MONITOR, 
 
 1 8. " No, at this difcontolate time, whemthe bufy 
 tempter flull be more than ufually apt to \ ex and trou- 
 ble him, and the pains of a dying body to hinder anJ dif- 
 compofe him, and th* fcttlement. of" worldly affairs to 
 diilurb and confound hi.n ; and, in a word, all things 
 confpire U> make liis fick-bed grievous and ureafy : no- 
 thing can then ftand up againft all theie rains, and fpeak 
 life in the u.idll of death, but a clear confcience. 
 
 19. "-And the teftimony of that fhall make the com- 
 forts of heaven defcend upon life weary head, l;ke a re- 
 frefhing dew, or fhower upon a parched ground. It 
 {hall give him fome lively earnefts, and fecret anticipa- 
 tions of his approaching joy. It fhall bid his foul go 
 out of the body, undauntedly, and liftup his head with 
 confidence before faints and angels. Surely the com- 
 fort, which it conveys at this feafon, is fomething bigger 
 than the capacities of mortality, mighty and unfpeaka- 
 ble, and not to beunderllood until it comes to be felt. 
 
 ao. ". And now who would not quit all the pleafures, 
 and trafh, and trifles, which are apt to captivate the 
 heart of man, and purfue the greateft rigours of piety, 
 and aufterities of a good life, topurchafe to himfelt filth 
 a confcience, as at the hour of death, when all the friend- 
 fliip in the world fliall bid him adieu, and the whole 
 creation turn its back upon him, (hall difmifs the foul 
 and clofe his eyes with that blefled fentence, * Weil 
 done, thcu good an3 faithful fervant, enter thou into the 
 joy of thy Lord." 
 
 ON CONTENTMEN r. 
 
 SPECTATOU, NO. 574.. 
 
 i. I WAS once engaged in difcourfe with a Roficro- 
 fian about the^m?/ fecret. As this kind of men (I irean 
 
 thuie
 
 . AND ENGLISH TEACHER^ ASSISTANT. 15$ 
 
 thofe of them who are not profefied cheats) are over- 
 run with enthufififm and philnfophy, it was very amu- 
 fnig to hear this religious adept defcanting on his pre- 
 tended liifcovery. He talked of the fecret as of a fpirJt 
 which lived within an emerald, and converted every 
 thing that was near it to the higheft perfection it was 
 capable of. 
 
 2. It gives a luftre, fays he, to the fun, and water to 
 the diamond. It irradiates every metal, and enriches 
 lead with all the properties of gold it heightens fmoke 
 into flame, fla-me into light, and light into glory. He 
 further added, that a fingle ray of it difilpates pain, and 
 care, and melancholy from the perfon on whom it falls. 
 In fliort, fays he, its prefence naturally changes every 
 place into a kind of heaven. 
 
 3. After he had gone on for fome time in this unintel- 
 ligible cant, I found that he jumbled natural and moral 
 ideas together in the feme difcouife, and that his great 
 fecret was nothing elle but content. 
 
 4. This virtue does indeed produce, in fome meafure, 
 all thofe effects which the alchyniit ufually afcribes to 
 what he calls the philofopher's ftone ; and if it does not 
 bring riches, it does the lame thing, by banifhing the 
 defire of them. If it cannot remove the difquietudes ari- 
 fing out of a man's mind, bud^, or fortune, it makes 
 him eafy under them. It has indeed a kindly influence 
 on the foul of man, in refpetl o > j very being to whom he 
 ftands related. It exungui&efail murmur, repining and 
 ingratitude towards that Being who has allotted him his 
 part to at in this world. It deftroys all inordinate am- 
 bition, 0nd every tendency to corruption, with regard to 
 the community wher.'in >>c is placed. It gives fweetnefs 
 to his conversion, ana a perpetual fertnity to all his 
 thoughts. 
 
 5. Among
 
 156 THE GENTLEMAN A N D L A D Y*S M O N I T R, 
 
 5. Among the many methods which might be made 
 ufe offer the acquiring of this virtue, I fliall only men- 
 tion the two following. Firft of all, a man fliould al- 
 ways confider how much he has more than he wants : 
 and fecondly how much more unhappy he might bt 
 than he really is. 
 
 6. Firft of all, a man fliould always confider how 
 much more he has than he wants. I am wonderfully 
 pleafed with the reply which Arittippus made to one 
 who condoled him upon the lofs of a farm : * Why/ 
 (aid he, ' I have three farms tlill, and you have but one ; 
 fo that I ought rather to be afflicted for you than you 
 for me.' O n the contrary, foolifh men are more apt to 
 confider what they have loft than what they poflefs; and 
 to 6x their eyes upon tbofe who are richer than them- 
 felves, rather than on thole who are under greater diffi- 
 culiies. 
 
 7. All the real pleafures and conveniences of life lie in 
 a narrow coir.pais ; but it is the humour of mankind to be 
 always looking forward, and (training after one who has 
 got the rtart of them in wealth and honour. For this 
 reafon, as there are none can be properly called rich, who 
 have not more than they want: there are few rich men 
 in any of the politer nations but among the middle fort 
 of people, who keep their wiflies within their fortunes, 
 and have more wealth than they know how to enjoy. 
 
 8. Perfonsof a higher rank live in a kind of fplendid 
 poverty, and are perpetually wanting, becaufe inftead of 
 acquiefcing in the folid pleafures of life, they endeavour 
 to outvie one another in fhadows and appearances. Men 
 of fenfe have at all times beheld with a great deal of 
 mirth this filly game that is playing over their heads, 
 and by contracting their defires er.joy all that fecrel faiif- 
 fadlion which others are always in queft of. 
 
 9. The
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 157 
 
 g. The truth is, this ridiculous chace after imaginary 
 pleafures, cannot be fufficiently expofed, as it is the 
 great fource of thofe evils which generally undo a na- 
 tion. Let a man's eftate be what it will, he is a poor 
 man, if he does not live within it, and naturally fets him- 
 felf to fale to any one that can give him his price. 
 
 10. When Pittacus, after the death of his brother, 
 who had left him a good eftate, was offered a great 
 fum of money by the king of Lydia, he thanked him for 
 his kindnefs, but told him he had already more by half 
 than he knew what to do with. In iliort content is equi- 
 valent to wealth, and luxury to poverty ; or to give the 
 thought a more agreeable turn, * Content is natural 
 wealth,' lays Socrates ; to which I fliall add, * Luxury 
 is artificial poverty.' 
 
 11. I ihall therefore recommend to the confederation 
 of thofe who are always aiming after fuperfluous and 
 imaginary enjoyments, and will not be at the trouble of 
 contracting their defires, an excellent faying of Bion the 
 philofopher, namely, * That no man has fo much care, 
 as he who endeavours after the moft happinefs.' 
 
 12. In the fecond place, every one ought to reflect how 
 inuch more unhappy he might be than he really is. The 
 former confideration took in all thofe who are fufficient- 
 ly provided with the means to make themfelves eafy j 
 this regards fuch as actually lie under fome preffiire or 
 misfortune. 
 
 13. Thefe may receive a great alleviation from fuch 
 a companion as the unhappy perfon may make between 
 himfelf and others, or between the misfortunes which 
 hefutfers, and greater misfortunes which might have 
 befallen him. 
 
 14. I like the ftory of the honeft Dutchman, who, 
 upon breaking hi leg by a fall froui ihe main-matt, 
 
 P told
 
 I$8 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 told the ftanders-by, it was a great mercy that it was 
 rot his neck. To which, fince I am got into quotations, 
 give me leave to acid the faying of an old philofopher, 
 who after having invited fouie of his friends to dine with 
 him, was ruffled by his wife who came into the room in 
 a pafiion, and threw dov.n the table that flood before 
 them ; ' Every one,' fays he, ' has h's calamity, and he 
 is a happy man that has no greater than this.' 
 
 15. We find an inflance to the fame purpofe in the 
 life of Doftor Hammond, written by Bifliop Fell. As 
 this good man was troubled with a complication of dif- 
 tempers, when he had the gout upon him, he ufed to 
 thank God that it was not the ftone ; and when he had 
 the (lone, that he had not both thefe diftempers on him 
 at the fame time. 
 
 1 6. I cannot conclude this eflay without obferving, 
 that there was never any fyftembefides that of Chriftia- 
 nity, which could effectually produce in the mind of 
 man the virtue I have been hitherto fpeaking of. In 
 order to mak>> us content with our prefent condition, 
 many of the prefent philofophers tell us, that our difcon- 
 tcnt only hurts ourfelvcs, without being able to make 
 any alteration in our circumttances ; others, thatVhat- 
 ever evil befals us is derived to us by a fatal neceility, 
 to which the gods themftlves are fubjeft ; while others 
 very gravely tell the man who is miferable, that it is ne- 
 ccflary he fhould be fo, to keep up the harmony of the 
 univcrfe, and that the fcbegu of Providence would be 
 troubled and perverted were it otherwife. 
 
 17. Thefe, and the like confiderations, rather filcnce 
 than fatisfy a man. They may {hew him that his dif- 
 content is unreafonable, but are by no means fufficient 
 to relieve it, They rather give defpair than confutation. 
 In a word,, a man might reply to one of thefe comfort-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. IjQ 
 
 ers, as Auguftus did to his friend whoadvifed him not 
 to grieve for the death of a perfon whom he loved, be- 
 caufe his grief could not fetch him again. ' It is for that 
 very reafon, laid the Emperor, that I grieve.' 
 
 18. On the contrary, religion bears a more tender 
 regard to human nature. It prefciibes to a very mifera- 
 ble man the means of bettering his condition; nay, it 
 fliews him that the bearing of his affli&ioo? as he ought 
 to do, will naturally end in the removal of them. It 
 makes him eafy here, becauie it can make him happy 
 hereafter. 
 
 19. Upon the whole, a contented mind is the great- 
 eft bleffing a man can enjoy in this world ; and if in 
 the prefent life his happinefs aiifes from the fubduing his 
 defires, it will arife in the next from the gratification of 
 them. 
 
 HUMAN MISERIES, CHIEFLY IMAGINARY. 
 
 i. IT is a celebrated thought of Socrates, that if all 
 the misfortunes of mankind were caft into a public ftock, 
 in order to be equally diftributed among the whole 
 fpecies, thofe who now think themfelves the moft unhap- 
 py, would prefer the fhare they are already poflefied of, 
 before that which would fall to them by (uch a divifion. 
 Horace has carried his thought a great deal further, 
 who fays, That the hard/hips and misfortunes W2 
 lie under, are more eafy to us than thofe of any other 
 perfon would be, in cafe we fhould change conditions 
 vrilh him. 
 
 2. As I was ruminating on thefe two remarks, and 
 
 feated in my elbow chair, I infenfibly fell afleepj when, 
 
 t 2 on
 
 l6o THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 on a hidden, methougjit there was a proclamation made 
 by Jupiter, that every mortal fhould bring in his griefs 
 and calamities, and throw them together in a heap. 
 There was a large plain appointed for this purpofe. 
 I took my (land in the centre of it, and faw with a great 
 deal of pleafure, the whole human fpecies marching one 
 after another, and throwing down their feveral loads, 
 which immediately grew up into a prodigious mountain, 
 that feemed to rife above the clouds. 
 
 3. There was a certain lady, of a thin, airy fliape, 
 nvho was very aftive in this folemnity. She carried a 
 magnifying glafs in one of her hands, and was cloathed 
 in a loofe flowing robe, embroidered with feveral figures 
 of fiends and fpcdres, that difcovered themfelves in a 
 thcufand chijnerical fliapes, as her garment hovered in 
 the wind. There was foracthing wild and diftracted in 
 her looks. 
 
 4. Her name was Fancy. She led up every mortal 
 to the appointed place, after having very officioufly af- 
 fifted him in making up his pack, and laying it upon his 
 fhoulders. My heart melted within me to fee my fel- 
 low-creatures groaning under their refpeftive burthens, 
 and to confider that prodigious bulk of human calamities 
 which lay before me. 
 
 5. There were however fe'veral perfons who gave me 
 great diverfion upon this occafion. I obferved one 
 bringing in a fardel very carefully concealed under an 
 old embroidered cloak, which, upon his throwing it in- 
 to the heap, I difcovered to be Poverty. Another, af- 
 ter a great deal of purring, threw down his luggage, 
 which, upon examining, I found to be his wife. 
 
 6. There were multitudes of lovers faddled with very 
 whimfical burthens, compofed of darts and flames ; but 
 
 was very odd, though they fighed as if their hearts 
 
 would
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. l6l 
 
 would break under thefe bundles of calamities, they 
 could not perfuade ihemfelves to caft them into the 
 heap, when they came up to it; bfct after a few faint 
 efforts, fhook their heads and marched away, as heavy 
 laden as they came. 
 
 7. 1 faw multitudes of old women throw down their 
 wrinkles, and feveral youngones who dripped themfdves 
 of a tawny (kin. There were very great heaps of red 
 nofes, large lips, and rufty teeth. The truth of it is, 1 v.'jvs 
 liirprized to fee thegrealeft part of the mountain made 
 up of bodily deformities. Obferving one advancing to- 
 wards the heap with a larger cargo than ordmary upon 
 his back, 1 found, upon his near approach, that it was 
 only a natural hump, which he difpofed of with great 
 joy of heart, among this colle&iojh of human miferies. 
 
 8. There were likewife difternptrs of all forts, though 
 I could not but obferve, that there were many more 
 imaginary than real. One little packet 1 could not but 
 take notice cf, which was a complication of the difeafes 
 incident to human nature, and was in the hands of a 
 great many fine people. This was called the fpleen. 
 But what me ft of all furprized me, was a remark 1 made, 
 that there was not a (ingle vice or folly thrown into the 
 whole heap ; at which 1 was very much aftcnifhed, hav- 
 ing concluded within nvyfelf, that every one would take 
 this opportunity of getting rid of his pallions, prejudices, 
 and frailties. 
 
 9. I took notice in particular of a very profligate 'fel- 
 low, who I did not quellion came loaded with his crimes, 
 but upon fearching into his bundle, I found, thatiriftead 
 of throwing his guilt from him, he had only laid down 
 his memory. He was followed by another worihlek 
 rogue, who flung away his modetly inftead of his igno- 
 rance* 
 
 p 3 io. When
 
 l6z THE GENTLEMAN' AWD LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 TO. When the whole race of mankind had thus caft 
 thtir burdens, the phantom which had been fo bufy on 
 this occafion, feeing me an idle fpeclator of what parted, 
 approached towards me. I grew uneafy at her prefence, 
 when en a Hidden ihe laid her magnifying glafs full be- 
 fore nr'ne eyes. I had no fooner Saw my face in it, but 
 was ftattled at the fhortnefs of it, which now appeared 
 to me in its ut;noft aggravation. 
 
 11. The immoderate breadth of my features made me 
 very much out of humour with my own countenance, 
 upon which 1 threw it from me like a mafic. It happen- 
 ed very luckily, that one who (tood by me had juft be- 
 fore thrown down his viiage, which it feems was too 
 long for him. It was indeed extended to a moll fliame- 
 ful length ; I believe the very chin was, modeftly {peak- 
 ing, as long as my whole face. 
 
 12. We had both of us an opportunity of mending 
 ouifelvcs, and all the contributions being now brought 
 in, every man was at liberty to exchange his misfortune 
 for that of another pcrfon. But as there arofe many new 
 incidents in the fequel of my vifion, I fhall purfue this 
 fubjecl further, as the moral which may be drawn from 
 it, is applicable toperfons of all degrees and ftations in 
 life. 
 
 13. I GAVE my readers a fight of that mountain 
 of ftiiferies, which was made up of thole feveral calami- 
 ties that afflit the minds of men. I faw with unfpeaka- 
 ble pleafure, the whole fpecies thus delivered from its 
 forrows: though at the fame time, as we ftood round 
 the heap, and furveyed the feveral materials of which it 
 was compofed, there was fcarce a mortal, in this vail 
 multitude, who did not difcover what he thought plea- 
 lures and bleilings of life; and wondered how tbe own- 
 ers of them ever came to look upon them as burthens 
 and grievances. 14. As
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 163 
 
 14. As we were regarding very attentively this con- 
 fufion of miferies, this chaos of calamity, Jupiter iflued 
 out a tecond proclamation, that every one was now at 
 liberty to exchange his affli&ion, and to return to his 
 habitation with any luch other bundle as fhould be de- 
 livered to him. 
 
 15. Upon this Fancy began again to beftir herfelf, 
 and parcelling out the whole heap with incredible afti- 
 vity, recommended to every one his particular packet. 
 The hurry and confufion at this, time was not to be ex- 
 prefYed. Some obfervations which I made upon the oc- 
 cafiofi, I fhall communicate to the reader. A venera- 
 ble grey-headed man, who had laid down the cholic, 
 and who I found wanted an heir to his eftate, fnatched 
 up an undutiful fon, that had been thrown into the heap 
 by his angry father. 
 
 1 6. The gracelefs youth, in lets than a quarter of an 
 hour, pulled the old gentleman by the beard, and had 
 like to have knocked his brains out $ fo that meeting the 
 true father, who came towards him in a fit of the gripes, 
 he begged him to take his fon again, and give him back 
 his cholic ; but they were incapable either of them to re- 
 cede from the choice they had made. 
 
 17. A poor galley-flave, who* had thrown down his 
 chains, took up the gout in their (tead, but made fuch wry 
 faces, that one might eafily perceive he was no great gainer 
 by the bargain. It was pleafant enough to fee the feve- 
 ral exchanges that were made, for ficknefs againft pover- 
 ty, hunger againft want of appetite, and care againft pain. 
 
 18. The female world were very bufy among them- 
 felves in bartering for features ; one was trucking a lock 
 of grey hairs for a carbuncle, another was making over 
 a fliort waift for a pair of round flioulders, and a third 
 cheapening a bad face for a loft reputation. But on all 
 
 thefe
 
 164. THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 tbefe occafions, there was not one of them who did not 
 think the new biemitli T ssfoon .as fhe had gotit into her 
 pprTcflion, umch more difagreeable than the old one. 
 
 19. I made the fame oblervation on every other mif- 
 fqrtune or calamity, which every one in the aflembly 
 brought upon himfelf, i<i lieu of what he had paYted with; 
 whether it be that all the evils which befal us. are in fume 
 nieafure fuited and proportioned to oui fliength, or that 
 every evil becomes more fuppcrtuble by our being ac-. 
 cuftomed to it, I fliall not determine. 
 
 20. I could not, for .my htait, forbear pitying the 
 poor hump-backed gentleman mentioned in the farmer 
 p^pcr, who went off a very well fnaped perfon with a. 
 {lone in his bladder;, nor the fine gentleman who had 
 {truck up this bargain with him, that limped through a 
 whole aflembly of ladies who ufed to admire him, \\iih a 
 pjir of llioulders peeping over his head. 
 
 21. I . rnuft not omit my own particular adventure. 
 My friend with the long vifage had no fooner taken up- 
 on him my fliort face, but he made fuch a grotefque fi- 
 gure in it, that, as I looked upon him, I could net for- 
 bear laughing at niyfelf, infomuch that I put my own 
 face out of countenance. The poor gentleman was fo 
 fenfible of the ridicule, tfcat I found he was afhamed of 
 what he had done. On the other fide, I found that I 
 inyfelf had no great reafon to triumph, for as I went to 
 touch my forehead, I miffed the place, and clapped my 
 finger upon my upper lip. 
 
 22. Befides, as my nofe was exceedingly prominent, I 
 gave it two or three unlucky knocks as 1 was playing my 
 hand about my face, and aiming at foiue other part of it. 
 I faw two other gentlemen by me, wbo were in the 
 -fame ridiculous circumllances. Thefe had made a. 
 foolifti fwap between a couple of thick kandy lees, and 
 two long trap- (licks that had no caifs to them. 
 
 23. One
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. l6$ 
 
 23. One of thefe looked like a man walking upon 
 ftilts, and was fo lifted up into the air above his ordi- 
 nary height, that his head turned round with it, while 
 the other made fuch aukward circles, as he attempted to 
 walk, that he fcarce knew how to move forward upon 
 his new fupporters. Obferving him to be a pleafant kind 
 of fellow, I (luck my cane in the ground, and toid him T 
 would lay him a bottle of wine, that he did not march 
 up to it on a line, that I drew for him, in a quarter of 
 an hour. 
 
 24. The heap was at lad diftributed among the two 
 fexes, who made a moft piteous fight, as they wandered 
 up and down under the preflure of their feveral burthens. 
 The whole plain was filled with murmurs and complaint?, 
 groans and lamentations. Jupiter, at length, taking 
 compafllon on the poor mortals, ordered them a fecorjd 
 time to lay down their loads, with a defign to give every 
 one his own again. 
 
 25. They difcharged themfelves with, a. great deal of 
 pleafure, after which, the phantom, who had led them into 
 luch grofs delufions, was commanded to dilappear. 
 There was fent in her ftead a goddefs of a quite differ- 
 ent figure : her motions were fteady and compofed, and 
 her afpect ferious but chearful. She every now and then 
 caft her eyes towards heaven, and fixed them upon Ju- 
 piter. 
 
 26. Her name was Patience. She had no fooner pla- 
 ced herielf by the mount of forrow, but what I thought 
 very remarkable, the whole heap funk to fuch a degree, 
 that it did not appear a third part fo big as it was be- 
 fore. She afterwards returned every man his own pro- 
 per calamity, and teaching him how to bear it in tlie 
 moft commodious manner, he marched off wilh it con- 
 tentedly, being very well pleafed that he had not been 
 left to his own choice, as to the kind of evils which Ml 
 tohiilot. 2.7.
 
 l66 THE GENTLEMAN AND L A DY*3 MONITOR, 
 
 27. Befides-the fev.era! pieces of morality to be drawn 
 out of this vifion, I learnt from it, never to repine at my 
 own misfortunes, or to envy the happinefs of another,, 
 fince it is impofiible for any man to form a right judg- 
 ment of his neighbour's fufferings ;. for which reafon al- 
 fo I have determined never to think too lightly of ano- 
 ther's complaints, but to regard the furrows of my fel- 
 low-creatures with fentiaicnts of humanity and compaf- 
 fion. 
 
 A LIFE OF VIRTUE PREFERABLE TO A 
 
 LIFE OF PLEASURE, EXEMPLIFIED IN 
 
 THE CHOICE OF HERCULES. 
 
 T ATLER, NO. 97, 
 
 r. V/HEN Hercules, fays tire divine Prodicus, was 
 in that part of his youth, in which it was natural for 
 him to confider what courfe of life he ought to purfue, 
 he one day retired into a defert, where the filence and 
 fclitude of the place very much favoured his medita 
 tions. 
 
 2. As he was -muting on his prefent condition, and ve- 
 ry much perplexed in himfelf on the ftate of life he fhouki 
 chufe, he faw two women of a larger failure than ordi- 
 nary approaching towards him. One of them had a ve- 
 ry noble air and graceful deportment? her beauty was 
 natural and eafv ; her perfon clean and unfpotted ; her 
 eyes caft towards the ground, with an agreeable referve ; 
 her motion and behaviour full of moddty j and her rai- 
 ment as white asfnow, 
 
 3- The
 
 * AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 167 
 
 3. The other had a great deal of health and fbridtiefs 
 in her countenance, which fl;e had helped with an artificial 
 white and red, and endeavoured to appear more grace- 
 ful than ordinary in. her mien, by a mixture of afFecla- 
 tibn in f 11 he^r geflures. She had a wonderful confidence 
 and ail'urance in her looks, and nil the variety of colouis 
 in her drcfs that flie thought were the mft proper to 
 fiiew her complexion to an advantage. She caft her 
 eyes upon herfelf, then turned them on thofe that were 
 prefent, to fee how they liked her, and often looked on 
 the figure flie made in her own fhadow. 
 
 4. Upon her nearer approach to Hercules, flie ftep- 
 ped before the other lady, who came forward with a re- 
 gular compofed carriage, and running up to him, accofi> 
 ed him after the following manner : 
 
 5. My dear Hercules, fays flie, I find you are 
 very much divided in your own thoughts upon the way 
 of life that you ought to chufe, Be my friend, and fol- 
 low -me ; I will lead you into the pofleifion of pleafure 
 and out of the reach of pain, and remove you from all 
 the noife and difquietude of bufmefs. The affairs of 
 either war or peace flvali have no power to difturb you. 
 Your whole employment fliiill be to make your life eafy, 
 and to entertain every fenfe with its proper gratifications. 
 Sumptuous tables, beds of rofes, cloudsofperfuir.es, 
 concerts of mufic, crowds of beauties, are all in readi- 
 nefs to receive you. Come along with me into this re- 
 gion of delights, this world of pleafure, and bid fare- 
 well Tor ever to care, to pain, and to bufinefs. 
 
 6. Hercules, hearing the lady talk after this manner, 
 defired to know her name; to which flie anfwered, my 
 friends, and thoie who are well acquainted with me, call 
 me Happinvfs; but my enemies, an i thofe who would in- 
 jure my reputation, h; ve given me the name of Picafure. 
 
 7- By
 
 l68 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 7. By this time the other lady was come up, who 
 addrefled herfelf to the young hero in a very different 
 manner. 
 
 Hercules, fays ilie, I offer myfelf to you, becaufe 
 1 know you are defcended from the gods, and give 
 proofs of that defcent by your love to virtue, and appli- 
 cation to the ftudies proper to your age. This makes 
 me hope you will gain both for yourfelf and me an im- 
 mortal reputation. But before I invite you into my lo- 
 ciety and friendfliip, I will be open and fincere with 
 you, and muft lay down this as an eftablifhed truth, that 
 there is nothing truly valuable which can be purchafed 
 without pains and labour. 
 
 8. The gods have fet a price upon every real and no- 
 ble pleafure. If you would gain the favour of the deity, 
 you muft be at the pains of worftiipping him ; if the 
 friend Ihip of good ir.en, you muft ftudy to oblige them; 
 if you would be honoured by your country, you muft 
 take care to ferve it. In fhort, if you would be eminent 
 in war or peace, you muft become mafter of all the qua- 
 lifications that can make you fo. Thefe are the only 
 terms and conditions upon which I can propofe happi- 
 nefs. The goddefs of pleafure here broke in upon her 
 difcourfe : 
 
 9. You fee, faid fhe, Hercules, by her own con- 
 feftion, the way to her pleafure is long and difficult, 
 whereas, that which I propofe is fliort andeafy. Alas! 
 faid the other lady, whofe vifage glowed with a pafllon, 
 made up of fcorn and pity, what are the pleafures you 
 propofe ? To eat before you are hungry, drink before 
 you are thirfty, fleep betore you are tired, to gratify 
 appetites before they are raifcd, and raifeluch appetites 
 as nature ntver planted. 
 
 10. You
 
 A:;D ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 169 
 
 10. You never heard the mod: delicious rnufic, which 
 is the praife yf one's felf ; nor faw the. moft beautiful 
 objeft, which is the work of one's own hands. Your 
 votaries pafs away their youth in a dream of miftaken 
 pleafures, while they are hoarding up anguiih, torment, 
 and remorfe, for old age. 
 
 1 1. As for me, I am a friend to the gods and of good 
 men, an agreeable companion to the artifan, a houfe- 
 hold guardian to the fathers of families, a patron and 
 protestor of fervants, an aflbciate in all true and gene- 
 rous friendships. The banquets of my votaries are ne- 
 ver coilly, but always delicious j for none eat or drink 
 at them who are not invited by hunger and thirft. Their 
 flumbers are found and their wakings chearful. 
 
 12. My young men have the pleafureof hearing them- 
 felves prailed by thofe who are in years, and thofe who 
 are in years, of being honoured by thofe who are young. 
 In a word, my followers are favoured by the gods, and 
 beloved by their acquaintance, eileemejiby their country, 
 and, after the clofe of their labours, honoured by potterity. 
 
 13. We know by the life of this memorable hero, to 
 which of thefe two ladies he gave up his heart ; and I 
 believe every one who reads this, will do him the juftice 
 to approve his choice. 
 
 14. I very much admire the fpeeches of thefe ladies, 
 as containing in them the chief arguments for a life of 
 virtue, or a life of p^eafure, that could enter into the 
 thoughts of an heathen ; but am paiticularly pleafed with 
 the different figures he gives the two goddefles. Our 
 modern authors have reprefented pleafure or vice with an 
 alluring face, but ending in fnakes and monllers ; here 
 flie appears in all the charms of beamy, though they are 
 all falfe and borrowed ; and by thefe means compofes a, 
 vifion entirely natural and p'.eafir^. 
 
 9 5- !
 
 170 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 15. I have tranflated this allegory for the benefit of 
 the youth of Great Britain ; and particularly cf thole 
 who are tliil in the deplorable ftate of non-exiftence, and 
 whom I moil earneilly entreat to come into the world. 
 Let my embrios fliew the leall inclination to any fmgle 
 virtue, and I fliall allow it to be a ftruggling towards 
 birth. 
 
 16. I do not expert of them that, like the hero in the 
 foregoing ftory, they fliould go about as foon as they are 
 born, with a club in their hands, and a lion's fkin on 
 their flioulders, to root outmonfters and deftroy tyrants; 
 but as the fined author of all antiquity has laid upon this 
 very occafion, though a man has not the abilities to dif- 
 tinguifh himfelf in the mod iliining parts of a great 
 character, he has certainly the capacity of being juft, 
 faiihful, modeft and temperate. 
 
 VIRTUE REWARDED: THE HISTORY OF 
 
 AMANDA. 
 
 SPE CTATOR, NO. 375. 
 
 i. 1 HAVE more than once had occafion to mention 
 a noble faying of Seneca the philofopher, that a virtuous 
 perfon ftfuggling with misfortunes, and rifing above 
 them, is an object, on which the gods themfelves may 
 look down with delight. I fliall therefore fet down be- 
 fore my reader a fcene of this kind of ditlrels in private 
 liiV, for the fpeculation of this day. 
 
 . 2. An eminent citizen, who had lived in good fafliion 
 and credit, was by a train of accidents, and by an una- 
 voidable perplexity in Jiis affairs, reduced to a low con- 
 dition. There is a modefty ufually attending faultlefs 
 
 poverty,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSIST'ANT. 171 
 
 poverty, which made him rather chufe to reduce his 
 manner of living to his prefent circumftances, than foli- 
 cit his friends, in order to fupport the fliew of an eftate, 
 when the fublknce was gone. 
 
 3. His wife, who was a^ woman of fenfe and virtue, 
 behaved herfelf on this occafion with uncommon decen- 
 cy, and never appeared fo amiable in his- eyes as now. 
 Inftead of upbraiding him with the ample fortune fiie had 
 brought, or the many great offers Hie had refufed for 
 his fake, flie redoubled all the inftances of her affection, 
 while her huib.ind was continually pouring out his heart 
 to her in complaints, that he had ruined the beft wo- 
 man in the world. 
 
 4. He fometimes'came home at a time when fhe did 
 not expefl him, and furprifed her in tears ; which flie 
 endeavoured to conceal, and always put on an air of 
 chearfulnefs to receive him. To leflen their expence, 
 their eldeft daughter (whom I fKall call Amanda) was 
 Tent into the country, to the hou-fe of an honed farmer, 
 who had married a fervant of the family. This young 
 woman was apprehenfive of the ruin which was ap 
 preaching, and had privately engaged a friend in the 
 neighbourhood to give her an account of what pafled 
 from time to time in her father's affairs. 
 
 5. Amanda was in the bloom of her youth and beauty, 
 when the lord of the manor, who often called in at the 
 farmer's houfe as he followed his country fports, fell paf- 
 fionately in love with her. He was a man of great gene- 
 rofity, but from a loofe education had contracted a hear- 
 ty aveifion to marriage. He therefore entertained a 
 delign upon Amanda's virtue, which at prefent he 
 thought fit to keep private. The innocent creature who 
 never fufpected his intentions, was pleafed with his per- 
 fon ; and, having obferved his growing pajTbn for her, 
 
 o^ z hoped
 
 1 7Z I HE GENTLEMAN ANOLAD Y*S MONITOR, 
 
 hoped by fo advantageous a match, fhe might quickly 
 be in a capacity of fupporting her impoverished relations. 
 
 6. One day as he called to fee her, he found her in 
 tears over a letter fhe had juft received from her friend, 
 which gave an account that her father had been lately 
 ftript of every thing by an execution. The lover, who 
 with fome difficulty found out the caufe of her grief, 
 took this occafion to make her a propofal. It is impof- 
 fible to exprefs Amanda's confufion when fhe found his 
 pretenfions were not honourable. 
 
 7. She was now deferted of all her hopes, and bad 
 no power to fpeak ; but rufhing from him in the utmoft 
 disturbance, locked herfelf up in her chamber. He 
 immediately difpatched a meflenger to her father with 
 the following letter : 
 
 SIR, 
 
 8. ' I HAVE heard of your misfortune, and have of- 
 fered your daughter, if flie will live with me, to fettle 
 on her four hundred pounds a year, and to lay down 
 the fum for which you are now dillreffed. I will be fo 
 ingenuous, as to tell you that I do not intend marriage ; 
 but if you arc wife, you will ufe your authority with 
 her not to be too nice, when fhe has an opportunity of 
 faving you and your family, and of making herfelf hap- 
 
 P. v -' 
 
 / am, &C. 
 
 g. This letter came to the hands of Amanda's mo- 
 ther ; fhe opened and read it with great furprife and 
 concern. She did not think it proper to explain herfelf 
 to the meffejiger ; but defiring him to call again the 
 next morning, fhe wrote to her daughter as follows: 
 
 Dearejl
 
 AND EXGL1SH TEACHEJl's ASSISTANT* 173 
 
 Dearejt Chill, 
 
 10. * YOUR' father and I have juft now received a 
 letter from a gentleman who pretends love to you, with 
 a propofal that infults our misfortunes, and would throw 
 us to a lower degree of mifery than any thing which is 
 come upon us. How could this baibarous man think that 
 the tendered of parents would be tempted to fiipply 
 their wants, by giving up the bell of children to infamy 
 and ruin? It is a mean and cruel artifice to make this> 
 propofal at a time when he thinks our necefiities mufl? 
 compel us to any thing; but we will not eat the bread 
 of fliame ; and therefore we charge thee not to think of 
 us, but to avoid the fnare which is laid for thy virtue. 
 Beware of pitying us ; it is not fobad as you have- per- 
 haps been told. All things will yet be well, and 1 llir.ll 
 write my chiki better news. 
 
 ' I have been interrupted. I know net how/I was 
 moved to fay things would mend. As 1 was going on 
 I was ftartled by the noiie of one that knocked at the 
 door, and had brought us an unexpected fnpnly-of a 
 debt which had long been owing. Oh \ \ v.iil now telt 
 tl-,ee all. It is fome days 1 have lived almort without 
 fupport, having conveyed what little money I ccuM 
 raife to your poor father. Thou wi!t r \veep to thin?: 
 where he is, yet be aifured he will foon be at Ubem . 
 TLat cruel letter would have, broke -his hearr, but I 
 have concealed it from him. I have no companion at 
 prefent befides little Fanny, who ftands watching my 
 looks as 1 write, and is crying for her filler ; flie fays flie 
 is fure you are not '.veil, having difcovered that my pre- 
 fent trouble is about you. Rut do not *hink I weulj 
 thus repeat my forrows to grieve thee. No, it is 'to i..- 
 treat.thee not to make them infuppoi table, by 
 >~3
 
 .'4 THE GENTLEMAN A V D L A D Y*S M N IT R , 
 
 vhat would be worfe than all. Let us bear chearfully 
 an affliftion, which we have not brought on ourfelves, 
 and remember there is a power who can better deliver 
 us cut of it, than by the lofs of thy innocence. Hea- 
 ven preferve my dear child. 
 
 11. The mc-fienger, notwithstanding he promifed to 
 deliver thir, letter to Amanda, carried it firft to his maf- 
 ter, who he imagined would be glad to have an oppor- 
 tunity of giving it into her hands himlelf. H's.mafter 
 \vas impatient to know the luccefs of his propofal, and 
 therefore broke open the letter privately, to fee the con- 
 tents. 
 
 J2. He was not a little moved at fo true a piflure of 
 virtue in diftrefs ; but at the fame time was infinitely 
 furpriicd to find his offers rejected. However, he refol- 
 ved not to iupprefs the letter, but carefully fealed it up 
 again, and carried it to Amanda. All his endeavours 
 to fee her were in vain, till fhe was affured he brought 
 a letter from her mother. He would not part with it 
 but upon condition thatflie fhould read it without leav- 
 ing the room. 
 
 13. While fhe was perilling it, he fixed his eyes on 
 her face with the deepeft attention ; her concern gave 
 a new foftnefs Co her beauty ; and when fine burft into 
 tears, he could no longer refrain from bearing a part in 
 her lorrow, and telling her, that he too had read the let- 
 ter, and was refolved to make reparation for having been: 
 the occafion of it. My reader will not be difpleafed to 
 fee the fecond epittle which he now wrote to Amanda's 
 mother. ' 
 
 Madan,
 
 AMD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 175 
 
 Madam, 
 
 ' I AM full of fliame, and will never forgive my- 
 felf if i have not your pardon for what I lately wrote. 
 It was far from my intention to add trouble to the afflift- 
 ed ; nor could any thing but my being a ftranger to 
 you, have betrayed me into a fault, for which, if I live, 
 I {hall endeavour to make you amends as a fon. You 
 cannot be unhappy while Amanda is your daughter; 
 nor iliall be, if any thing can prevent it, which is in the 
 power of, 
 
 Madam. 
 
 Tour obedient bumble [errant .* 
 
 14. This letter he fent by his fteward, and foon after 
 went up to town himfelf to complete the generous aft 
 he had now refolved on; By his friendftiip and afllftance, 
 Amanda's father, was quickly in a condition of retrieving 
 his perplexed affairs. To conclude, he married Ainanda, 
 and enjoyed the double fetisfaclion of having reftored a 
 worthy family to their former profperity, and of making 
 himfelf happy by an alliance to their virtues. 
 
 THE STORY OF ABDALLAH AND BALSORA. 
 
 GUARDIAN, NO. 167. 
 
 I. I HE following ftory is lately tranflated out of an 
 Arabian manufcript, which I think has very much the 
 turn of an oriental tale ; and as it has never before been 
 printed, I queftion not but it will be highly acceptable 
 to my reader. 
 
 2. The name of Helimis ftill famous through all the 
 eaftern parts of the world. He is called among the Per- 
 fians, even to this day, Helim, the great phyfician. He 
 vas acquainted with all the powers of fimples, under- 
 
 ttood
 
 176 THE GERTLEMAV A-N D LADY*3 MONITOR, 
 
 flood all the influences of the ftars, and knew the fecrets 
 that were engraved on the feal of Solomon, the fon of 
 David. Helim was alfo governor of the biack palace, 
 and chief of the phyficians to Alnarefchin the great king 
 of Perfia.- 
 
 $. Alnarefchin was the moft dreadful tyrant that ever- 
 reigned in this country. He was of a fearful, fufpicious, 
 and cruel nature, having put to death upon very flight 
 jealoufks and furmifes f;ve-and-thirty of his queens, and 
 about twenty fons whom he fufpecled to have confpired 
 againft his life. Being at length wearied with the excr- 
 cife of fo many cruelties in his own family, and fearing 
 left the whole race of Caliphs fhould be entirely loft, he 
 one day lent for Helim, and fpoke to him after this mau- 
 ner: 
 
 4. ' Helim,' faid he, ' I have long admired thy great 
 vvifdom, and retired way of living. I fliall not ihevr 
 thee the entire confidence which I pjace in thee. I have 
 only two fons remaining, who are yet but infants. It is 
 my defign that thou take them home with thee, and edu- 
 cate them as thy own. Train them up in the humble, 
 unambitious purfuits of knowledge. By this mean fliall 
 the line of Caliphs be preferved, and my children fuo 
 ceed after me, without afpiring to my throne whilft I 
 am yet alive.' 
 
 5. The words of my lord, the king, fhall be obeyed, 
 faid Helim. After which he bowed, and went out 'of 
 the king's prefence. He then received the children in- 
 to his own houfe, and from that time bred them up with 
 him in the fludies of knowledge and virtue. The young 
 princes loved and refpc&ed Helim as their father, and 
 made fuch improvements under him, that by the age of 
 one-and-twenty they were inftrufted in all the learning 
 of the eaft. 
 
 6. The
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 177 
 
 6. The name of the eldeft was Ibrahim, and of theyoung- 
 eft Abdallah. They lived together in fuch a perfect 
 friend/Tup, that to this day it is faid of intimate friends, 
 that they live together like Ibrahim and Abdallah. He- 
 lira had an only child, who was a girl of a fine foul, and 
 a moft beautiful perfon. Her father omitted nothing in 
 her education, that might make her the moft acCom- 
 pliflied woman of her age. 1 
 
 7. As the young princes were in a manner excluded 
 from the reft of the world, they frequently converfed 
 with this lovely virgin, who had been brought up by her 
 father in the fame courfe of knowledge and of virtue. 
 
 8. Abdallah, whbfe mind was of a fofter turn than that 
 of his brother, grew by degrees io enamoured of her con- 
 verfation, that he did not think he lived, when he waa 
 not in company with his beloved Balfora, for that was 
 the name of the maid. The fame of her beauty was fo 
 great, that at length it came to the ears of the king, 
 who pretending to vifit the young princes his fons, de- 
 manded of Helim the fight of Balfora his fair daughter. 
 
 9. The king was fo inflamed with her beauty and be- 
 haviour, that he fent for Helitn the next morning, and 
 told him it was now his deiign to recompenfe him for all 
 his faithful fervices ; and that in order to do it, he in- 
 tended to make his daughter queen of Perfia. 
 
 10. Helim, who knew very well the fate of all thofe 
 unhappy women who had been thus advanced, and 
 could not but be privy to the fecret love which Abdallah 
 bore his daughter. ' Far be it,' fays he, * from the 
 king of Perfia to contaminate the blood of the Caliphs, 
 and join himfelf in marriage with the daughter of his 
 phyfician.' 
 
 11. The king, however, was fo impatient for fuch a 
 bride, that without hearing any excufes, he immediately 
 
 ordered
 
 178 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 ordered Balfora to be fen t for into hisprefence, keeping 
 the father with him, in order to make hei fenfible of the 
 honour which he defigned. Balfora, who was too mo- 
 deft -md humble to think her beauty had made fuch an 
 imprefiion on the king, was a few moments after brought 
 into his prefence as he had commanded. 
 
 iz. She appeared in the king's eye as one of the vir- 
 gins of paradile. But upon hearing the honour which 
 he intended her, fhe fainted away, and fell down as 
 dead at his feet. Helim wept, and after having recover- 
 ed her out of the trance into which flie was fallen, repre- 
 fented to the king, that fo unexpected an honour was too 
 great to have been communicated to her all at once ; 
 but that if he pleafed, he \fould himfelf prepare her foe 
 it. The king bade him lake his own way, and oifuiif- 
 fcd him. 
 
 13. Balfora was conveyed again to her father's houfe, 
 where the thoughts of Abdallah renewed her affliction 
 every moment ; infomuch, that at length (he fell into a 
 raging fever. The king was informed of her condition 
 by thofe that faw her. Helim finding no other ntfans of 
 extricating her from the difficulties flie was in, after hav- 
 ing compofed her mind, and made her acquainted with 
 his intentions, gave her a certain potion, which he knew 
 would lay her jifleep for many hours ; and afterwards in 
 all the feeming diftrefs of a difconfolate father, informed 
 the king ilie was dead. 
 
 14, The king, who never let any fentiments of hi> 
 nianity cone too near his heart, did not much trouble 
 himfelf about .the matter; however, for his own repu- 
 tation, he told the father, that fince it was known 
 through the empire that Balfora died at a time when he 
 defined her for his bride, it was his intention that ihe 
 
 fliould
 
 A\'D ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 179 
 
 fhou'.d be honoured as fuch after her death, that her 
 body fliould be laid in the black palace, among thofe 
 of his deceafed queens. 
 
 15. In the mean time Abdallah, who had heard of the 
 king's defign , was not lefs afHifted than his beloved Balfora. 
 As for the feveral circu-nftances of his diflrefs, as alfo 
 how the king was informed of an irrecoverable dittem- 
 per into which Ire was fallen, they are to be found at 
 length in tfte hiftory of Helim. 
 
 1 6. ft (hall fuffice to acquaint the reader, that Helim 
 fome days after the fuppofed death of his daughter, gave 
 the prince a potion of the fame nature with that which 
 had laid afleep Balfora. 
 
 17. It is the cuftom among the Perfians, to convey 
 in a private manner the bodies of all the royal f .unify, 
 a little after their death, into the black palace ; which is 
 the repofitory of all who are defcended from the Caliphs, 
 or any way allied to them. The chief phyfician is al- 
 ways governor of the black palace ; it being his office 
 to embalm and preferve the holy family after they are 
 dead, as well as to take care of them while they are yet 
 living. 
 
 18. The black palace is fo called from the colour of 
 the building, which is all of the fined poiifhed black 
 marble. There are always burning in it five thoufand 
 everlafting lamps. It has alto a hundred folding doors 
 of ebony, which are each of them watched day and 
 night by an hundred negroes, who are to take care that 
 nobody enters befhles the governor. 
 
 19. Helim, after having conveyed the body of his 
 daughter into the repofitory, and at the appointed time 
 received her out of this fleep into which fhe w*s fallen, 
 took care fome time after to bring that of Abdallah into 
 the fame place. Balfora watched over him till fuch 
 
 time
 
 l8o THE GENTLEMAN A KD LAD Y'S MONITOR. 
 
 time as the dofe he had taken loft its effect. Abdallah 
 was not acquainted with Helim's defign when he gave 
 him this fleepy potion. 
 
 20. It is impoflible to defcribe the furprife, the joy, 
 the tranfport he was in at his firfl. awaking. He fancied 
 hinifelf in the retirements of the bleft, and that the fpi- 
 rit of his dear Balfora, who he thought was juft gone 
 before him, was the firft who came to congratulate hi* 
 arrival. She foon informed him of the place he was in, 
 which, notwithstanding all its horrors, appeared to him 
 more fweet than the bower of Mahomet, in the compa- 
 ny of his Balfora. 
 
 21. Helim, who was fuppofed to be taken up in the 
 embalming of the bodies, vifited the place very fre- 
 quently. His greatcil perplexity was how to get the 
 lovers out of it, the gates being watched in fuch a man- 
 ner as I have before related. This confsderation did 
 not a little difturb the two interred lovers. 
 
 22. At length Helim bethought himfelf, that tta 
 firft day of the full moon of the month Tizpa was near 
 at hand. Now it is a received tradition among the Per- 
 fians, that the fouls of thofe of the royal family, who 
 are in a ftate of blifs, do on the firft. full moon after 
 their deceafe, pafs through the eaftern gate of the black 
 palace, which is therefore called the gate of paradifc, 
 in order to take their flight for that happy place. 
 
 23. Helim, therefore having made due preparation 
 for this night, drefled each of the lovers in a robe of a 
 /ure filk, wrought in the fineft looms of Perfia, with a 
 long train of linen whiter than fnow, that floated on 
 the ground behind them. Upon Abdallah's head he fix- 
 ed a wreath of the greenefl myrtle, and on Balfora's a 
 garland of the frefheft rofes. Their garments were 
 fcented with the richeft perfumes of Arabia. 
 
 24 Hav-
 
 ^r ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSIST A NT. 181 
 
 24. Having thus prepared every tiling, the full moon 
 was no fooner up, and fhining in all its brightnefs, but 
 he privately opened the gate of paradife, and (hut it af- 
 ter the fame manner, as foon as they had parted through it, 
 
 aq. The band of negroes who were ported at a little 
 diitance from the gate, feeing two fuch beautiful appa- 
 ritions, that fhewed themfelves to advantage by the light 
 of the full moon, and being ravifhod with the odour 
 that flawed from their garments, immediately conclud- 
 ed them to be the gliofts of the two perfons lately de- 
 ceafed. 
 
 26. They fell upon their faces as they pa (Ted through 
 the midit of them, and continued proftrate on the earth 
 until fuch time as they were out of fight. They report- 
 ed the next day what they had feen, but this was look- 
 ed upon by the king himfelf, and moll others, as the 
 compliment that was ufually paid to any of the decea- 
 fed of his family. 
 
 27. Helim had placed two of his own mules at about 
 a mile's diftance from the black temple, on the fpot 
 where they had agreed upon for their rendezvous. Here 
 he met them, and conducted them to one of his own 
 houfes, which was fuuated on mount Khacan. 
 
 28. The air of this mountain was fo very healthful, 
 that Helim had formerly tranfported the king thither, 
 in order to recover him out of a long fit of fickoeis, 
 which fucceededfo well, that the king made him a pre- 
 fent of the whole mountain, with a beautiful houfe and 
 garden that were on the top of it. 
 
 29. In this retirement lived Abdallah and Balfora. 
 They were both fo fraught with all kinds of know- 
 ledge, and poffeft with foconftant and mutual a pafiion 
 for each other, that their folitude never lay heavy on 
 then*. 
 
 R 10, Ab-
 
 |82 THE GENTLEMAN AND LAOY*5 MONITOR, 
 
 30. Abdallah appHed himfcif to ihofe arts which 
 \vere agreeable to his manner of living, and the fituaiion 
 cf the plsce ; infomuch' that in a few years he convert- 
 ed the whole mountain into a kind of garden, and co- 
 vered every part of it with plantations or fpots of flow- 
 ers. Kelim was too good a father to let him want any 
 thing that might conduce to make his retirement pleafant. 
 
 31. In about tenyeais after their abode in this place, 
 the old king died, and was fucceeded by his fon Ibrahim, 
 who, upon the fuppofed death of his brother, had been 
 called to court, and entertained there as heir to the Per- 
 fian empire. Though he was fome years inconfolable 
 for the death of his brother. Heliin duril not trull him 
 with, the fee ret, which he knew would have fatal confe- 
 quences, fhould it by any means come to the knowledge 
 of the old king. 
 
 3Z. Ibrahim was no fconer mounted to the throne, 
 but Helim fought after a proper opportunity of making 
 a difcovery to him, which he knew would be very agree- 
 able to fo good-natured and generous a prince. It fo 
 happened, that before Heliin found fuch an opportunity 
 as he defired, the new king, Ibrahim, having been fepa- 
 rated from his company in a chafe, and almoft fainting 
 with heat and third, faw himfelf at the foot of mount 
 Kbacan. He immediately afcended the hill, and com- 
 ing to Helim's houfe, demanded fome refrefhments. 
 
 33. Helim was very luckily there at that time; and 
 after having fet befoie the king the choiceft of wines and 
 fiuits, finding him wonderfully plealed with fo feafona- 
 ble a treat, told him that the bell part of his entertain- 
 ment was to come. Upon which he opened to him the 
 whole hiftory of what had patted. The king was at once 
 afionifiied and tianfported at fo ftrange a relation, and 
 feeing his brother enter the room with Balfora in his 
 
 hand,
 
 AND EN GLIS H TEACHER'S ASSISTANT^ 185 
 
 hand, he leaped off from the fofa on which he fat, and 
 cried out, ' It Is he! it is my Abdallah!' Having faut 
 this, he fell upon his neck, and wept. 
 
 34. The whole company, for fome time, remained 
 filent, and {bedding tears of joy. The king at length 
 having kindly reproached Helim for depriving- him lo 
 long of fuch a brother, embraced Balfora with the great- 
 eft tendernefs, and told her, that Hie flhould now be a 
 queen indeed, for that he would immediately make his 
 brother king of all the conquered nations on the other 
 fide the Tigris. 
 
 35. He eafily difcovered in the eyes of our two lovers, 
 that, inftead of being tranfported with the offer, they 
 preferred their prefent retirement to empire. At their 
 requeft therefore he changed his intentions, and made 
 them a prefent of all the open country as far as the/ 
 could fee from the top of mount Khncan. 
 
 36. Abdallali continuing to extend his former im* 
 provements, beautified his whole profpect with groves 
 and fountains, gardens and feats of pleafure, until it 
 became the moft delicious fpot of ground within the 
 empire, and is therefore called the garden of Perfia. 
 
 37. This Caliph, Ibrahim, after a long and happy 
 reign, died without children, and was fucceeded by 
 Abdallah, a fon of Abdallah and Balfora. This was 
 that king Abdallah, who afterwards fixed the imperial 
 refidence upon mount Khacan, which continues at this 
 time to be the favourite palace of the Perfian empire. 
 
 ON RASHNESS AND COWARDICE. 
 
 RAMBLER, NO. 2<J> 
 
 i. Jl HERE are fome vices and errors which though 
 
 often fatal to thofe in whom they are found, have yet, 
 
 R 2 by
 
 184 THE GENTLEMAN AND LAOY S MONITOR, 
 
 by the univcrfal confent of mankind, been confidered as 
 eiuukd. to fome degree of reipect, or lv.?\e at leaft, been 
 exempted from contemptuous infamy, and condemned 
 by the fevereft moralifts with pity rather than deteftation. 
 
 2. A conftant and invariable example of this general 
 p.iriiality will be found in the different regard which has 
 always been ihewnlo rafhnefs and cowardice ; two vices, 
 of which, though they may be conceived equally diftant 
 from the middle point, where true fortityde is placed, 
 and may equally injure any public or private interetl, yet 
 the one is never mentioned without fome kind of venera- 
 tion, and the other always confidered as a topic of un- 
 limited and licentious cenfure, on which all the virulence 
 of; reproach may be lawfully exerted. 
 
 3. The fame di(linlion is made, by the common fuf- 
 frage, between profufion and avarice, and, perhaps be- 
 tween many other oppofite vices ; and, as I have found 
 reafon to pay great regard to the voice of the people, 
 in cafes where knowledge has been forced upon them by 
 experience, without long deduftions or deep refearches. 
 I am inclined to believe that this diftiibution of refpeft, 
 is not without fome agreement with the nature of 
 things; and that in the faults, which are thus inverted 
 with extraordinary privileges, there are generally fome 
 latent principles of merit, fome poifibilities of future vir- 
 tue, which may, by degrees, break from obfliu&ion, 
 and by time and opportunity be brought into act. 
 
 5. It rr.ay be laid down as an axiom, that it is more 
 eafy to take away fupeifluities than to fupply defeats; 
 and therefore, he that is culpable, becaufe he has pafled 
 the middle point of virtue, is always accounted a fairer 
 object of hope, than he. who fails by falling fhort. The 
 ere lies all that perfection requires, and more, but the 
 
 excels
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT, l8$ 
 
 excels may be eafily retrenched ; the other wants the 
 qualities requifite to excellence, and who can tell how 
 he fhall obtain them ? 
 
 5. We are certain that the horfe may be taught to 
 keep pace with his fellows, whofe fault is that he leaves 
 them behind. We know that a few (trokes of the axe 
 will lop a cedar. But what arts of cultivation can- ele- 
 vate a fhrub ? 
 
 6. To walk with circunifpeclion and fteadinefs in rhe 
 right path, at an equal diftance between the extremes of 
 error, ought to be the conftant endeavour of every rea- 
 fonable being ; nor can I think thofe teachers of moral 
 wifdom much to be honoured as benefactors of mankind, 
 vho are always enlarging upon the difficulty of our duties, 
 and providing rat'her excules for vice, than incenti?es 
 to virtue. 
 
 7. But, fince to moft it will happen often, anj to all 
 ibmetimes, that there will be a deviation towards 
 one fide or the other, we ought always to -employ 
 cur vigilance, with mod attention, on that enemy, from 
 which there is the greateit danger, and to ftray, if we 
 nmft ftray, towards thofe parts from whence we may 
 quickly and eafily return. 
 
 S. Air.ong other oppofite qualities of the mind, which 
 may become dangerous, though in different degrees, I 
 have often had occafion to coniider the contrary effects 
 of p-Mumption and defpondencv ; of heady confidence, 
 which promifes a victory without come!!, and heartlefs 
 pufillanimity, which jlninks hack fro:n the thought of 
 great undertakings, confounds difficulty, with impoffibi- 
 li;y, and conhdeis all advancetuent :av,ardo-any new at- 
 tainment as irreverfibly prohibited. 
 
 9, Prefumption will be eafily corrected. Every ex* 
 peiiraer.t wili teacb caution, and milcairisges will hour- 
 R 3 ly.
 
 |86 TH* G E"V*T L E M .1 U 'KD LADv'.J MONITOR, 
 
 Iy {hew, that attempts aie not always rewarded with 
 luccefs. The mod precipitate ardour will, in time, be 
 taught the neceflity of methodical gradation, and pre- 
 paratory jreafures ; and the moft daring confidence be 
 convinced that neither merit, nor abilities, can command 
 events. 
 
 10. It is the, advantage of vehemence and activity, 
 that they are always battening to their own reformation ; 
 bccaufe they incite us to try whether our expectations 
 are weii grounded, and therefore detect the deceits 
 vhich ttiey are apt to occafion. But timidity is a dileafe 
 of the mind more obftinate ar.d fatal ; for a man once 
 perfuadcd, that any impediment is infuperable, has giv- 
 en it, v ith refpect to himfelf, that ftrength and weight 
 which it had not before. 
 
 i r. He can fcarcely firive with vigour and perfeve- ' 
 ranee, when he has no hope of gainiifg the victory ; and 
 f;nce he will never try his ftrength, can never difcover 
 the unreaionablenefs of his fears. 
 
 1 2. There is often to be found in men devoted to 
 literature, a kind of intellectual cowardice, which who- 
 ever converfes much among them, may obferve frequent- 
 ly to deprefs the alacrity of enterprise, and, by confe- 
 quence, to retard the improvement of fcience. 
 
 13. They have annexed to every fpecies of know- 
 ledge, fome chimerical character of terror and inhibition, 
 which they tranfmit, without milth reflection, from one 
 to another; they firft fright theinfelves, and then pro- 
 pagate the panic to their fcholars and acquaintance. 
 
 1 4. One Itudy is inconfiitent with a lively imagination, 
 another with a folid judgment ; one is improper in the 
 early parts ot life, another rcquii^s fo much time, that 
 it is not to be attempted at an advanced age ; one is dry 
 anJ. contracts the feinimenis, another is diffufe and 
 
 over-
 
 . AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 187 
 
 overburdens the memory j one is infufferable to tafte 
 and delicacy, and another wears out life in the ftudy of 
 words, and is ufelefs to a wiie man, who defires only 
 the knowledge of things. 
 
 i 5. But of all the bug-bears by which the infantes 
 laibati, boys both young and old, have been hitherto 
 frighted from digrefling into new tracts of learning, none 
 has been more mifchievoufly efficacious th^n an opinion 
 that every kind of knowledge requires a peculiar genius, 
 or mental conftitution, framed for the reception of fome 
 ideas, and the exclufion of others ; and that to him 
 v.-hofe genius is not adapted to the ftudy which he pro- 
 fccutes, all labour fhall be vain and fruitlefs, vain as 
 an endeavour to mingle oil and water, or, in the language . 
 of chemiftry, to amalgamate bodies of heterogeneous 
 principles. 
 
 16. This opinion we may reafonably expect to have 
 been propagated by vanity, beyond the truth. It :s na- 
 tural for thofe who have raifed a reputation by any fci- 
 ence, to exalt themfelves as endowed by heaven with 
 peculiar powers, or marked out by an extraordinary de- 
 fignation for their profefilon ; and to fright competitors 
 away by reprefenting the difficulties with which they 
 muft contend, and the neceflky of qualities, which are 
 iuppofed to be not generally conferred, and which no 
 man can know, but by experience, whether he enjoys. 
 
 17. To this difcouragement it may be pofiibly anf- 
 \vered, that fince a genius, whatever it be, is like fire 
 in the flint, only to be produced by collifion with a pro- 
 per fubjed, it is the bufinefs of every man to try whe- 
 ther his faculties may not happily co-operate with his 
 defires ; and fince they whofe proficiency he admires, 
 knew their own force only by the event, he needs but 
 engage in the fame undertaking, with equal fpirit, and 
 may realbnably hope for equal fuccefs. 18. There
 
 l88 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 18. There is another fpecies of falfe intelligence, 
 given by thofe who profefs to fliew the way to the fum- 
 mitof knowledge, of equal tendency to deprefs the mind 
 with falfe diftruft of itfelf, and weaken it by needlefs fo- 
 licitude and dejection. When a fcholar whom they de- 
 fire to animate, confults them at his entrance on fome 
 new ftudy, it is common to make flattering reprefentations 
 of its pleafantnefs and faci'ity. 
 
 19. Thus they generally attain one of the two ends 
 almoft equally defirable; they either incite his induftry 
 by elevating his hopes, or produce an high opinion of 
 their o\vn abilities, fince they are fuppofed to relate only 
 what they have found, and to have proceeded with 
 no lels eafe than they have promifed to their followers. 
 
 20. The ftudent inflamed by this encouragement, lets 
 forward in the new path, and proceeds a tew fteps with, 
 great alacrity ; but he fbon finds afperities and intricacies 
 of which he has not been forewarned, and imagining 
 that none ever were fo entangled or fatigued before him, 
 finks fuddenly into defpair, and defifts as from an expe- 
 dition in which fate oppofes him. Thus his terrors are 
 multiplied by his hopes, and he is defeated without re- 
 fiftance, becaute he had no expectation of an enemy. 
 
 21. Of thefe treacherous inftruftors, the one clellrojs 
 induftry, by declaring that induftry is vain, the other by 
 reprefenting it as needlefs ; the one cuts away the root 
 of hope, ^he other raifes it only to be blafted. The one; 
 confines his pupil to the flio/e, by telling him that his 
 wreck is certain ; the other fends him to fea, without 
 preparing him for tempefts. 
 
 22. Falfe hopes and falfe errors are equally to be a- 
 voided. Every man who propofes to grow eminent by 
 learning, fliould carry in his mind, at once, the difficul- 
 ty of excellence, and the force of induftry j and re- 
 
 member
 
 AND ENGLISH T A C H E R*S A~S S t S T A K T. 1 Sg 
 
 member that fame is not conferred but as the recorr- 
 penie of labour, and that labour, vigoroufly continued, 
 lias not often failed of its reward. 
 
 FORTITUDE FOUNDED UPON THE FEAR 
 OF GOD. 
 
 GUARDIAN, KO. I IJ. 
 
 i. LOOKING over the late edition of Monfieur Boi- 
 leau's works, I was very much pleafed with the article 
 which he has added to his notes on the tranflation of 
 Longinus. . He there tells us, that the fublime in writ- 
 ing riles cither from the noblenefc cf the thought, the 
 magnificence of the words, or the harmonious and live- 
 1}' turn of the phrafe, and that the perfect fublime rifes 
 from all thefe three in conjunction together. He pro- 
 duces an inftar.ce of this perfect fubliine in four verfes 
 from the Athajia of Monfieur Racine. 
 
 2. When Abner, one of the chief officers of the court 
 reprefents to Joad the high-prieft, that the queen was 
 incenled againft him, the high-pried, not in the leaft ter- 
 rified at the news, returns this anfwer: 
 
 Celui qui met uu frein a la fureitr detjioti, 
 
 Scail aujji des mecbans arreter Us complots : 
 
 Scumis aitec refpett a jx jci!o?:tc /ainte, 
 
 Je craint Dieii, cber Abner, ^f tiai feint (Faulre crainlt. 
 
 3. * He who ruleth the raging of the fea, knows a! Co 
 how to check the defigns of '.he ungcdly. I fubmit my- 
 felf with reverence to his holy will. O Abner, I fear 
 my God, and I fear none but him.' Such a thought 
 gives no lefs a fublinihy to human nature, than it dees 
 to good writing. 
 
 4. This
 
 igO THE GENTLEMAN AND I, A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 4. This religious fear, when it is produced by juft 
 apprehenlions of a divine power, naturally overlooks all 
 human greatnefs that ftands in competition with it, and 
 extingui flies every other terror that can fettle itfelf in the 
 heart of nun ; it leflens and contracts the figure of the 
 mod exalted perfon ; it difanns the tyrant and execution- 
 er, and repreferrts to our minds the moft enraged and the 
 nioft poweiful, as altogether harmlefs and impotent. 
 
 5.. There is no true fortitude which isnot founded upon 
 this fear, as there is no other principle of fo fettled and 
 fixed a nature. Courage that grows from conftitution, 
 very oftenforfakcsa man when he hasoccafronforit ; and 
 when it is only a kind of inftinct in the foul, breaks out 
 on all cccafior.s without judgment or difcretion. That 
 Courage which proceeds from the fenfe of our duty, and 
 from the fear of offending him that made us, als always 
 in an uniform manner, and according to the didates o 
 right reafon. 
 
 6. What can the man fear, who takes care in all hit 
 actions to pleafe a Being that is omnipotent ? A Being 
 who is able to cruili all his adverfaries ? A Being that 
 cap divert any misfortune from befalling him, or turn 
 any fuch misfortune to his advantage ? The perfon who 
 lives with this conftant and habitual regard to the great 
 fupertntendent of the world, is indeed lure that no real 
 evil can come into his let. 
 
 7. Blefllngs may appear under the fhape of pains, 
 fofles, and difappointments, but let him have patience, 
 and he will fee them in. their proper figure. Dangers 
 may threaten him, but he may reft fatisfied that they will 
 either not reach him, or that, if they do, they will be 
 the inftruments of good to him. In ihort, he may look 
 upon all crcfles and accidents, fufferings and affl.tlions, 
 a* means which are made ufe of to bring him to happinefs-. 
 
 8. This
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. IQI 
 
 8. This is even the worft of that man's condition 
 whofe mind is poflefied with the habitual fear of which 
 I am now fpaaking. But ic very often happens, that 
 thofe which appear evils in our own eyes, appear alfo as 
 fuch to him who has human nature under his care, in 
 which cafe they are certainly avuted from the perfon 
 who has made hinjfelf, by this virtue, an object of di- 
 vine favour. 
 
 9. Hillories are full of inflances of this nature, where 
 men of virtue have had extraordinary efcapes out of fuch 
 dangers as have enclofed them, and which have feemed 
 inevitable. 
 
 10. There is no example of this kind in pagan hiftory 
 whrch more pleafes me than that which is recorded in 
 the life of Timoleon. This extraordinary man was 
 famous for referring all his fuccefies to Providence. 
 Cornelius Nepos acquaints us, that he had in his houfe 
 a private chapel in which he ufec! to pay his devotions 
 to the goddefs who reprefenteJ Providence among the 
 heathens. I think no man was ever more dittinguifhed by 
 the Deity, whom he blindly worfhipped, than the great 
 perfon I am fpeaking of, in fcverai occurrences of his 
 life, but particularly in the following one which I fliall 
 relate out of Plutarch. 
 
 n. Three perfons had entered into a confpiracy to] 
 aflaffinate Timoleon as he was offering up his devotions 
 in a certain temple. In order to it they took their feve- 
 ral llands in the nioft convenient places for their pur- 
 pofe. As they were waiting for an opportunity to put 
 their defign in execution, a flranger having obferved one 
 of the confpirators, fell upon him and flew him. Upon 1 
 which the other two, thinking their plot had been dif- 
 covered, threw themfelvesat Timoleon's feet, and con- 
 feflcd the whole matter. 
 
 12. This
 
 192 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR 
 
 12. This ftranger, upon examination, was found to 
 have uivderftood nothing of the intended aflaffination, 
 but having feveral years before had a brother killed by 
 the confpirator, whom he here put to death, and having 
 till now fought in vain for an opportunity of revenge,, 
 he chanced to meet the murderer in the temple, who 
 had planted himfclf there for the above-mentioned pur- 
 pofe. 
 
 13. Plutarch cannot forbear, on this occafion, fpeak- 
 ing with a kind of rapture on the fchemes of Providence, 
 which, in this particular, had fo contrived it, that the 
 ftranger ftiould, for fo great a fpace of time, be debar- 
 red the means of doing juitice to his brother, till, by 
 the fame blow that revenged the death of one innocent 
 man, he preferved the life of another. 
 
 14. For my own part, I cannot wonder that a man 
 of Timoleon's religion fliould have this intrepidity and 
 firmnefs of mind, or that he (hculd be diftinguifhed by 
 fuch a deliverance as I have here related. 
 
 THE FOLLY OF YOUTHFUL 
 EXTRAVAGANCE. 
 
 RAMBLER, NO. 26. 
 
 i. IT is ufual for men, engaged in the fame purfuits, 
 to be inquiGtive after the conduct and fortune of each 
 other ; and therefore, I fuppofe it will not be unplea- 
 fjng to you, to read an account of the various changes 
 which have happened in part of a life devoted to litera- 
 ture. My narrative will not exhibit any great variety of 
 events, or extraordinary revolutions ; but may, perhaps, 
 be not lefs ufeful, becaufe I {hall relate nothing which 
 is not likely to happen to a thoufand others. 
 
 2. I wa
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 193 
 
 2. I was born heir to a very final! fortune, and left by 
 my father, whom I cannot remember, to the care of an 
 uncle. He having no children, always treated me as his 
 fon, and finding in me thole qualities which old men ea- 
 fily difcover in fprightly children, when they happen to 
 love them, declared that a genius like mine ftiould ne- 
 ver be loft for want of cultivation. 
 
 3. He therefore placed Hie, for the ufual time, at a 
 great ichool, and then fent me to the univerfity, with a 
 larger allowance than my own patrimony would have 
 afforded, that I might not keep mean company, but learn 
 to become my dignity when I (liould be made Lord 
 Chancellor, which he often lamented that the fncreafe 
 of his infirmities was very likely to preclude him from, 
 feeing. 
 
 4. This exuberance of money difplayed itfelf in gaie- 
 ty of appearance, and wantonnefs of expence, and intro-' 
 duced me to the acquaintance of thofe whom the fame 
 fuperfluity of fortune betrayed to the fame licence -and 
 oftentation ; young heirs who pleafed themfelves with a 
 remark very frequently in their mouths, that though 
 they were fent by their fathers to the univerfity, they 
 were not under the neceffity of living by their learning. 
 
 5 . Among men of this clafs 1 eafily obtained the repu- 
 tation of a great genius, and was perfuaded that with 
 fuch livelinefs of imagination, and delicacy of fentiment, 
 I fhould never be able to fubmit to the drudgery of the 
 few. 
 
 6. I therefore gave myfelf wholly to the more airy 
 and elegant parts of learning, and was often fo much e- 
 lated with my fuperioriiy to the youths with whom I 
 converfed, that I began to liften, with great attention 
 to thofe v.-ho recommended to me a wider and more 
 confpkuous theatre; and was particularly touched with 
 
 * an
 
 *94 TE GENTLEMAN AND L AD v's. M O N I T OR , 
 
 an obfervation made by one of my friends ; that it was 
 not by lingering in the univerfhy, that Prior became 
 anibaflador or Addifon fecretary of ftate. 
 
 7. This defire was hourly increa&d by the felicitation 
 of my companions, who removing one by one, to Lon- 
 don, as the caprice of their relations allowed them, or 
 the legal difiniffion from the hands of their guardians put 
 in their power, never failed to fend an account of the 
 beauty and ieiicity of the new world, and to renior.ftrate 
 how mucb^was loft by every how's continuance in a 
 place of retirement and conflraint. 
 
 8. My uncle in the mean time frequently harrafTed 
 me with monitory letters, which I fometimes neglecled 
 to open for a week after I received them, and general- 
 ly read in a tavern with fuch comments as might {hew 
 how much I was fupcrior to inftruftion or advice. I 
 cpuld not Jbut wonder, how a niantonfmed to ihe coun- 
 try, and unacquainted with the prefent f) flem of things 
 fhould imagine bimielf qualified to inftruft a rifing 
 genius, born to .give, laws to;the age, refine its tafte, and 
 multiply its pleafures. 
 
 9, The poftman, however, ftill continued to bring 
 me new remonftrances ; for uiy uncle was very little de- 
 prsfled by the riiiicule and reproach which he never 
 hear,d. But men of parts have quick lefentments; it 
 was impoflible to be<ir his usurpations for ever { and I 
 refotved, once. for all, to make him an example to thofw 
 who imagine thernfelves wife becaufe they are old, and 
 to teach young men, who are too tame under reprefen- 
 tation, in what manner grey-bearded infolence ought to 
 be treated. 
 
 10. I therefore one evening took my pen in hand, and 
 after having .animated niy.fdf with ; a catch, wrote a ge- 
 neral aniwcr to all his precepts, with fu,ch vivacity of
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT, 195 
 
 turn, fuch elegance of irony, and fuch afperity of far- 
 calm, that I convulfed a large company with univerfal 
 laughter, difturbed the neighbourhood with vociferations 
 of applaufe, and five days afterwards was anfwered, that 
 I mult be content to live upon my own eftate. 
 
 1 1. This contraction of my income gave me no dlC- 
 turbance, for a genius like mine was out of the reach of 
 want, I had friends that would be proud to open their 
 jwrfesat my call, and profpefls of fuch advancement as 
 would loon reconcile my uncle, whom, upon mature 
 deliberation, 1 refolved to receive into favour, without 
 infixing on any acknowledgement of his offence, when 
 the fplendor of my condition fhould induce him towifh 
 for my countenance. 
 
 12. I therefore went up to London before I had fhewn 
 the alteration of my condition, by any abatement of mj 
 way of living, and was received by all my academical 
 acquaintance with triumph and congratulation. I was 
 immediately introduced among the wits, and men of 
 fpirit; and, in a fhort time, had diverted myfelf of all 
 my fchokr's gravity, and obtained the reputation of a 
 pretty fellow. 
 
 13. You will eafily believe that I had no great know- 
 ledge of the world ; yet I had been hindered, by the 
 general difinclinaticn every man feels to confers pover- 
 ty, from telling to any one the refolution of my'uncle, 
 and fometime fubfifted upon the ftock of money which I 
 had brought with me, and contributed my fliare as be- 
 fore to all our entertainments. But my pocket was foora 
 emptied, and i was obliged to a(k my friends for a fmall 
 fum. 
 
 14. This was a favour, which we had often recipro- 
 cally received from one another ; they fuppofed my 
 warirs only accidental, and therefore willingly fupplied 
 
 s 2 them.
 
 196 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 them. In a fliort time, I found a neceflity of aflcing a- 
 gain, and was again treated with the fame civility j but 
 the third time they began to wonder what that old rogue 
 my uncle could mean by fending a gentleman to town 
 without money ; and when they gave me what I aflced 
 for, advifed me to ftipulate for more regular remittances. 
 75. This fomewhat difturbed my dream of conftant 
 affluence, but I was three days after completely awaked ; 
 for entering the tavern, where we met every evening, 
 1 found the waiters remitted their coniplaifance, and in- 
 ilead of contending to light me up ftairs, fuffered me to 
 wait for forne minutes by the bar. 
 
 16. When I came to my company, I found them un- 
 ufually grave and formal, and one of them took a hint to 
 turn the converfation upon the mifconduft of young men, 
 and enlarged upon the folly of frequenting the company 
 of men of fortune, without being able to fupport the ex- 
 pence ; an obfervation which the reft contributed either 
 to enforce by repetition, or to illuftrate by examples. 
 Only one of them tried to divert the difcourfe, and en-' 
 deavoured to direct my attention to remote qucftions, 
 and common topics. 
 
 17. A man guilty of poverty eafily believes himfelf 
 fufpefted. I went, however, next morning to bieakfaft 
 with him who appeared ignorant of the drift of the con- 
 verfatir.n, and by a ff ries of enquiries, drawing dill near- 
 er to the point, prevailed on him, not, perhaps, much 
 againll his will, "to inform me, that Mr. Dail, whofe 
 father was a wealthy attorney, near my native place, 
 had, the morning before, received an account of my 
 uncle*s refentment, and communicated his intelligence 
 with the utmcft induftry of groveling infolence. 
 
 18. It was now no longer practicable to confoit \vuh 
 uy former friends, unlefsl would be content to be ufed 
 
 as
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 197 
 
 as an inferior gueft, who was to pay for his wine by 
 mirth and flattery ; a character, which, if I could not 
 efcape, I refolveJ to endure only among thofe who had 
 never known me in the pride of plenty. 
 
 19. I changed my lodgings, and frequented the cof- 
 fee-houfes in a different region of the town ; where I 
 was quickly diftinguiflied by leveral young gentlemen of 
 high birth, and large eftates, and began again toamufe 
 my imagination with hopes of preferment, though not 
 quite fo confidently as when I had let's experience. 
 
 20. The fir ft great conqueft which this new fcene 
 enabled me to gain over myfelf was, when I fubmitted to 
 coniefs to a party, who invited me to an expenfive di- 
 verfion, that my revenues were not equal to iuch golden 
 piealures ; they would not fufrer me however, to flay 
 behind, and with great reluctance I yielded to be treat- 
 ed, I took that opportunity of recommending myfelf to 
 fome office or employment, \vhich-they unauimoufly pro- 
 niifed to procure me .by their joint intereft. 
 
 21. I had now entered into a dale of dependence, and 
 had hopes, or fears, from .almofc every man I faw. If 
 it be unhappy to have one patron, what is his mifery who 
 has fo many ? I was obliged to comply with a thoufand 
 caprices, to concur in a thoufund follies, and to counte- 
 nance a thoufand errors ; I endured innumerable 'morti- 
 fications, if not fioai cruelty, at 'ieaft from negligence, 
 which will creep in upon the kindcft and n->oit delicate 
 iiiinds, when they converfe without the mutual awe of 
 equal condition. 
 
 22, 1 to'und the fpirit and vigour of 'liberty every mo- 
 ment finking in me, and a fcrvile fear xf diipieafing, 
 Sealing bydegrees upon all 117 behaviour, tilf no word, 
 -, or. action, was my own. As the fuJiciiude to 
 * 3 ' ; pleafe
 
 t8 THE GENTLiMAl* AND iAD'/S MONITOR, 
 
 pleafe increafcd, the power of plc.ifing grew Icfs, and I 
 was always clouded v.'ith difnMence wbere it was moft 
 my intereft and wiih to fliine. 
 
 23. My patrons, confidering me, as belonging to the 
 community, and, therefore, not the charge of any pir- 
 ticular perfcn, made no fcrup'e of neglecting any op- 
 r-Gitunily of promoting me, which every one thought 
 more properly the bufmefs of another. An account of 
 r.iy expectations and difappointments, and the fucceeding 
 vicifliuides of my life, I iliall give you in my following 
 letter, which will be, I hope, of ufe to fhew how ill he 
 forms his fcherties, who expefts happinefs without free- 
 dom. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 
 THE MISERY OF DEPENDING ON THE 
 GREAT. 
 
 RAMBLER, NO. 2J. 
 
 j./\.S it is natural for every man to think himfelf of 
 importance, your knowledge of the world will incline 
 you to forgive me, if I imagine your curiofity fo much 
 excited by the former part of my narration, as to make 
 you deflre that I fhou'.d proceed without any unnecefiary 
 arts of connection. I iliall, therefore, nol keep you 
 longer in fuch fuipenfe, as perhaps my performance may 
 
 not ecu p^nfate. 
 
 2. In the gay company with which I was now united, 
 
 1 found diofe allurements and delights, which the friend- 
 
 iliip-of .young men always affords ; there \vas that open- 
 :u:uraily produced confidence, that affability 
 
 which, infome meafure, foftened dependence, and that 
 
 aidcur of profcfilon which incited hope. 
 
 3. When
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. 199 
 
 3. When our hearts were dilated with merriment, 
 promises were poured out with unlimited profufion, and 
 life and fortune were but a (canty facrifice to friend (Kip; 
 but when the hour came, at which any effort was to be 
 made, I had generally the vexation to find that my in- 
 tereft weighed nothing againft the flighted ainufeiiient, 
 and that every petty avocation was found a fufficent 
 plea for continuing me in uncertainty and want. 
 
 4. Their kindnefs was indeed fincer? : when they 
 promifed they had no intention to deceive, but the fame 
 juvenile warmlh which kindled their benevolence, gave 
 force in the fame proportion to every other paflion, and 
 I was forgotten as toon as any new pleafure feized on 
 their attention. 
 
 5. Vagrio told me one evening, that all my perplex- 
 ities fhould be foon at an end, and defired me from that 
 inftant to throw upon him all care of my fortune, for a 
 poft of confiderable value was that day become vacant, 
 and he knew his intereft fufficienl to procure it in the 
 morning. He defired me to call upon him early, that 
 he might be dreiTed foon enough to wait on the minfter 
 -before any other application fhould be made. 
 
 6. I came as he appointed, with all the flame of gra- 
 titude, and was told by his fervant, that having found 
 at his lodgings, when he came home, an acquaintance 
 who was going to travel, he had been perfuaded to ac- 
 company him to Dover, and that they had taken poil- 
 horfes two hours before day. 
 
 7. I was once very near to preferment, by the kind- 
 nefs of Charinus, who at my requeft, went to beg a 
 place, which he thought me likely to fill with great re- 
 putation, and in which I fhould have many opportunities 
 of promoting his intereft in return j and he pleafed hini- 
 felf with imagining the mutual benefits that we fhould 
 confer, and the advances that we fhould make by our 
 united ftrength, 8. Away
 
 ZOO THE CENTHMA'N ANT) LADYS MONITOR, 
 
 8. Away tlierefore he went, equally warm with friend- 
 ftipand ambition, and left me to prepare acknowledg- 
 ments againft his return. At length he came back, and. 
 told me that he had met in his way a party going to 
 breakfaft in the country, that the ladies importuned him 
 too much to be refufed, and that havirtgpafTed the morn- 
 ing with them, he was come back to drefs himielf for 
 a. ball, to which he was invited for the evening. 
 
 g. I have fuffered fcveral difappointments from tny- 
 lorsand perriwig-makers,. who by neglecling to perform 
 their work, withheld my patrons from court ; and once 
 failed of.an eftabliflvr.ent for life by the delay of a fer- 
 vant, fent to a neighbouring (hop to replenifli a inuff box*." 
 
 to. At laft I thought my.folicitude at an end, for an 
 office fell into the gift of H;pppdamus's lather, who be<- 
 ing then in the country, could not very fpeedily fill it,, 
 and whofe fondue (s would not have fufFered him torefufc. 
 his fon a lefs leafonable rc-queft. Hippodamus therefore, 
 fet forward with'gjeat expejiiion, zu:d 1 expected every 
 hour an account of his fucccfs. 
 
 11. A long time I waited without any intelligence, 
 but at laft received a.letter.from Newmarket, by whicfa 
 I' was informed that the races were begun, and I knew 
 the vehemence of his pillions too well to imagine that he 
 could refufe himfelf his favourite ajnufement. 
 
 12. You wilJ not wonder thru I was al iaft weary of 
 the patronage of young men, efpscially as I found them 
 not generally to prouiifc much greater fidelity as the7 
 advanced in life ; for I obfcrved that what they gained 
 in fteadinefc they loft in benevolence, and grew colder 
 to my irrterett as they became more diligent to promote: 
 their own. 
 
 13. 1 was convinced that their liberality was pnl/ 
 profufenefs, that, as chance-direcled, they were equally 
 
 generous
 
 1ND ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. 201 
 
 generous to vice and virtue, that they were warm but 
 became they were thouglulefs, and counted the fupport 
 of a friend only amongft other gratifications of paffion. 
 
 14. My refblution was now to ingratiate myfelf with 
 men whofe reputation was eftabliihed, whofe high fta 
 tions enabled them to prefer me, and whole age exempt- 
 ed them from fudden changes of inclination. I was con- 
 fidered as a man of parts, and therefore eafily found ad- 
 million to the table of Hilarius, the celebrated orator, 
 renowned equally for the extent of his knowledge, the 
 elegance of his diftion, and the acutenefs of his wit. 
 
 15. Hilarius received me with an appearance of great 
 fatisfac~Uon, produced to me all his friends, and direft- 
 ed to me that part of his difcourfe in which Jie inott en- 
 deavoured to difplay his imagination. I had now learn- 
 ed my own intereft enough, to fupply him with oppor- 
 tunities for fmart remarks and gay fallies, which I never 
 failed to echo and applaud. 
 
 16. Thus I was gaining every hour on his affections, 
 till unfortunately, when the aflembly was more fplendid 
 than ufual, his defire of admiration prompted him to 
 turn his raillery upon me. I bore it fcr fome time with 
 great fubmifTion, and fuccefs encouraged him to redouble 
 his attacks ; at laft my vanity prevailed over my pru- 
 dence, I retorted his irony with fuch ipirit, that Hilarius, 
 unaccuftomed to refiftance, was difconcerted, and foon 
 found means of convincing me, that Irs purpofe was not 
 to encourage a ri.val, but to fofter a parafite. 
 
 17. I was then taken into the familiarity of Argutio, 
 a nobleman eminent for judgment and criticifm. He 
 had contributed to my reputation, by the praifes winch 
 he had often beftowed upon my writings, in which he 
 owned that there were proofs of a genius that might rite 
 to high degrees of excellence, when time, or informa- 
 tion, had' reduced its exuberance. 18. He
 
 202 THE GENTLEMAN AND L A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 18. He therefore required me to confult him before 
 the publication of any new performance, and commonly 
 propoled innumerable alterations, without lufficient at- 
 tention to the general defign, or regard to my form of 
 ftyle, and mode of imagination. 
 
 19. But thefe corrections he never failed to profs as 
 indifpenfibly neceflary, and thought the leafl cielay of 
 compliance an act of rebellion. The pride of an author 
 made this treatment infufferable, and I thought any ty- 
 ranny caller to be borne than that which took from me 
 theufe of my underftanding. 
 
 20. My next patron was Eutyches the (latefman, who 
 was. wholly engaged in public affairs, and feemfd to 
 have no ambition but to be powei ful and rich. I found his 
 favour more permanent than that of the others, for there 
 was a certain price at which it might be bought ; he al- 
 lowed nothing to humour or to afre&ion, but was al- 
 ways ready to pay liberally for the ferviceihat he required. 
 
 21. His demands were, indeed, very often fuch as 
 virtue could not eafily content to gratify ; but virtue is 
 not tobeconfulted when men are to raife their fortunes 
 by the favour of the great. His meafures were cenfur- 
 ed ; I wrote in his defence, and wa* recompsnfed with 
 R place, of which the profits were never received by me 
 without the pan^s of remembering that they were the 
 reward of wickednefs ; a reward which nothing but that 
 ueceiTity, which the confumption of my little eftate in. 
 thefe wild purfuits had brought upon me, hindered me 
 from throwing back in the face of my corruptor. 
 
 22. At this time my uncle died without a will, and I 
 became heir to a fniall fortune. I had relbluti-.n to 
 throw off the fplendor which reproached me to mylelf, 
 and retired to an humbler ftate, in which I am now en- 
 deavouring to recover .the dignity, of virtue, and , hope
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 2O^ 
 
 to make fome reparation for my crimes and follies, by 
 inlormipg others, who may be led after the fame pa- 
 geants, that they are about to engage in a courfe of 
 life, in which they are to purchale, by a thoufand mife- 
 ries, the privilege of repentance. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 
 E U B ULUS. 
 
 . 
 
 WHAT IT IS TO SEE THE WORLD; THE 
 STQRY OF MELISSA. 
 
 RAMBLER, NO. 7$. 
 
 i. THE diligence with which you endeavour to culti- 
 vate the knowledge of nature, manners, ard life, will 
 perhaps incline you to pay louie regard to the obfervations 
 of one v.ho has been taught to know mankind by ua- 
 welcome information, and whofe opinions are the reiult, 
 not of iblitary cotijsilures, but of practice and experience. 
 2. I was born to a large fortune, and bred to the 
 knowledge of thofe arts which are fuppofed to accotn- 
 piifli the mind, and adorn the perfon of a woman. To 
 thefe attainments, which cuftom and education almoft 
 forced upon me, I added fome voluntary acquiluions by 
 the ufe of books, and the convention of that fpecies of 
 men whom the ladies generally mention with terror and 
 averfion under the name of fcholars, but whom I have 
 found a harmlefs and inoffenfive order of beings, notfo 
 much wifer than ourfelves, but that they may receive as 
 well as communicate knowledge, and more inclined to 
 degrade their own character by cowardly fubmifiion, 
 than to 'overbear or opprefs us with th.eir learning or 
 their wit. 
 
 3. From
 
 2O4 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, * 
 
 3 . From thefe men, however, if they are by kind 
 treatment encouraged to talk, fomething may be gained, 
 which, ernbelliflied with elegancy, and foftened by mo- ' 
 defty, wiM always add dignity and value to female con- 
 verfation ; and from my acquaintance with the bookifh 
 part of the world, I derived my principles of judgment 
 and maxims of prudence, by which I was enabled to 
 draw upon myfelf the general regard in every place of 
 concourfe or pleasure. 
 
 4. My opinion was the great rule of approbation, my 
 remarks were remembered by thofe who defired the fe- 
 cond degree of fame, my mien was ftudied, my drefs 
 was imitated, my letters were handed from one family 
 to another, and read by thofe who copied them as fent 
 to themfelve*, my vifits were folicited -as honours, and 
 multitudes boafted of an intimacy with Meliffa, who had 
 only fcen me by accident, whofe familiarity had never 
 proceeded beyond the exchange of a compliment, or re- 
 turn of a courtefy. 
 
 5. I fiiall make no fcruple of confefiing that I was 
 pleafed with this univerfal veneration, becaufe 1 always 
 confijered it as paid to my intrinfic qualities and infepa- 
 rable merit, and very eafily perfuaded myfelf, that for- 
 tune had no part in my fuperiority. 
 1 6. When I looked upon my glafs, I faw youth and 
 beauty, with health that might give me reafon to hope 
 their continuance ; when I examined my mind I found 
 fome ftrength of judgment, and fertility of fan<iy ; and 
 was told that every adtion was grace, and that every ac- 
 cent was perfuafion. 
 
 7. In this manner my life pafied like a continual tri- 
 umph amiiift acclamations, and envy, and courtfliip, and 
 carcfles ; to pleafe Meliffa was the general ambition, and 
 every ftratagem of artful flattery was praftifed upon me. 
 
 To
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 205 
 
 To he flattered is grateful, ever, when we know that our 
 pr.iifes are not believed by thofe who pronounce them ; 
 for they prove, at lead, our power, and fhew that our 
 favour is valued, fince it is purchafed by the meannefs 
 of falfehood. 
 
 8. But, perhaps, the flatterer is not often detected, 
 for an honett mind is not apt to fafpect, and no one ex- 
 erts the powers of difcernment-with much vigour when 
 felf-love favours the deceit. 
 
 Q. The number of adorers, and the perpetual diftrao 
 tion of my thoughts by new fchemes of pieafure, pre- 
 vented me from liftening to any of thofe who crowd in 
 multitudes to give girls advice, and kept me unmarri- 
 ed and unengaged to my twenty-feventh year, when, as I 
 was towering in ail the pride of uncontefted excellency, 
 with a face yet little impaired, and a mind hourly im- 
 proving, the failure of a fund, in which my money was 
 placed, reduced me to a frugal competency, which al- 
 lowed little beyond neatnefs and independence. 
 
 10. I bore the diminution of my riches without any 
 outrages of forrow, or pufillanimity of dejection. In- 
 deed I diti not know how much I had loft, for having 
 always heard and thought more of my wit and beauty, 
 than of my fortune, it did not fuddenly enter my ima- 
 gination, that Melifla could fink beneath her eftabliftied 
 rank, while her form and her mind continued the fame; 
 that (lie fliould ceafe to raife admiration but by ceafing 
 todeferve it, or feel any flroke but from the hand of ti.ne. 
 
 n. It was in my power to have concealed the lufs, 
 and to have married, by continuing the fame appearance* 
 with all the credit of my originalfortune ; but I was 
 not lo far funk in my own efteem, as to fubmit to the 
 bafenefs of fraud, or to defire any other recommenda- 
 tion than fenfe and virtue. 
 
 T 12. I
 
 2o6 THE G.ENTL-EMAV AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 12. I therefore difjnilTed my equipage, fold thofe or- 
 naments which were become unfuituble to my new con- 
 dition, and appeared among thole with whom 1 ufed to 
 converfe with lefs glitter, but equal fpirit. 
 
 13. I found myfelf received at every vifit, with for- 
 row beyond what is naturally felt for calamities in which 
 we have no part, and was entertained with condolence 
 and confolation, fo frequently repeated, that my ft lends 
 plainly confulted, rather their own gratification, than 
 n:y relief. 
 
 14. Some from that time refufed my acquaintance, 
 and forbore, without any provocation, to repay my vi- 
 fits ; feme vifited me, but after a longer interval than 
 ufual, and every return was ftill with more delay ; nor 
 tJid any of aiy female acquaintances tail to introduce the 
 mention of fliy misfortunes, to compare my prefent and 
 former condition, to tell me how much it muft trouble 
 me to want the fplendor which I became fo well; to 
 look at pleafurcs, which 1 had formerly enjoyed, and 10 
 fink to a level with thofe by whom 1 had been confidercd 
 as moving/ in a higher fphere, and who had hitherto ap- 
 proached me with reverence and fubmiflion, which I 
 was row no longer to expect. 
 
 15. Obfcrvations like thefe, are commonly nothing 
 better than covert infults, which ferve to give vent to 
 the flatulence of pride, but they are now and then im- 
 prudently uttered by honefty and benevolence, and in- 
 flict pain where kindnefs is intended; I will, therefore, 
 fo tar maintain my antiquated claim to politenefs, as to 
 venture the eftablifliment of this rule, that no one ought 
 to remind another of misfortunes of which the fufferer 
 does not complain, and which there are no means pro- 
 pofed of alleviating. 
 
 16. You have no right to excite thoughts which ne- 
 
 ceflariljr
 
 AND EXCLISH TEACH ER*S ASSISTANT. 207 
 
 ceiTarily give pain whenever they return, and which 
 perhaps might not have revived but by abiurd and un- 
 reafonable compaiiion. 
 
 17. My endlefs train of lovers- immediately withdrew, 
 without raifing any emotions. The greater part had in- 
 deed always profefled to court, as it is termed, upon the 
 fquare, had enquired my fortune, and offered fettle- 
 nienis ; thefe undoubtedly had a right to retire without 
 cenfure, fince they had openly treated for money, as 
 neceir<iry_to their happinefs, and who can tell how lit- 
 tle they wanted any other portion ? 
 
 18. 1 have always thought the clamours of women 
 unreafonable, who imagine themfelves injured becaufe 
 the men who followed them upon the fuppofition of a 
 greater fortune, reject them when they are difcovered 
 to have lefs. 1 have never known any lady, who did 
 not think wealth a title to fome ftipulations in her favour; 
 and furely what is claimed by the poffeflion of money 
 is juflly forfeited by its lofs. 
 
 19. She that has once demanded a fettlement, has 
 allowed the importance of fortune; and when fhe can- 
 rot fliew pecuniary merit, why fhould flic think her 
 cheapner obliged to purchafe ? 
 
 20. My lovers were not all contented with filent de- 
 fertion. Some of them revenged the neglect which they 
 had formerly endured by wanron and fuperfluous infults, 
 and endeavoured to mortify me by paying in my pre- 
 fence thofe civilities to other ladies, which were once 
 devoted only to me. 
 
 21. But as it had been my rule to treat men according 
 to the rank of their intellect, I had never fuftered any 
 one to wafte his life in fufpenfe, who could have em- 
 ployed it to better purpofe, and had therefore no enemies 
 but coxcombs, whofe refentment and refpeft were equally 
 btlow my confideration. TZ 22. The
 
 208 THE GBNTLEMAK A N D lADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 22. The only pain which I have felt from degrada- 
 tion, is the lofs of that influence which I have always 
 exerted on the fide of virtue, in the defence of innocence, 
 and the afTertion of truth. I now find my opinions 
 flighted, my fentiments criticifed, and my arguments 
 cppofed by thole thatufed to liften to me without reply, 
 and ftruggle to be firft in exprefiing their conviction. 
 
 23. The female difputants have wholly thrown off my 
 authority, and if I endeavour to enforce my reafons by 
 an appeal to the frholars that happen to be prefent, the 
 wretches are certain to pay their court by facrifiliing me 
 and my fyftemtoa finer gown, and I am every hour in- 
 fulted with contradiction by cowards, who could never 
 find till lately that MelifTa was liable to error. 
 
 24. There are two perfons only whom I cannot charge 
 with having changed their conduct with my change of 
 fortune. One is an old curate that has pafled his life 
 in the duties of his profeflion with great reputation for 
 his knowledge and piety ; the other is a lieutenant of 
 dragoons. The parfon made no difficulty in the height 
 of my elevation to check me when 1 was pert, and in- 
 ftruct me when 1 blundered ; and it there is any altera- 
 tion, he is now more timorous left his freedom fhould be 
 thought radenefs. 
 
 25. The foldier never paid me any particular addref- 
 fes, but very rigidly cbfcrved all the rules of politenefs, 
 which he is now fo far from relaxing, that whenever he 
 ferves the tea, he obftinatelj carries me the firft difli, in 
 defiance of the frowns and whifpers of the table. 
 
 26. This, Mr. Rambler, is to fee the world. It is 
 ioipoflible for thofe that have only known affluence and 
 profperity, to judge rightly of thernfdves or others. 
 The rich and the powerful live in a perpetual mafquerade, 
 in which all about them wear borrowed characters; 
 
 , and
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER.'* ASSISTANT. 2O<) 
 
 and we only difcover in what eilimation we are 
 held, when we can no longer give hopes or fears. 
 1 am, &c. 
 
 MELISSA. 
 
 ON THE OMNISCIENCE AND OMNIPRESENCE 
 
 OF THE DEITY, TOGETHER WITH THE 
 
 IMMENSITY OF HIS WORKS. 
 
 i. J_ WAS yefterday, about fun-fet, walking in tae 
 open fields, liU the night infenfibly fell upon me. I at 
 fiift amufed niyfelf wiih all the- richnefsand variety of 
 colours, which appeared in the weftern parts of heaven ; 
 in proportion as they faded away and went out, feveral 
 {tars and planets appeared one after another, until the 
 whole firmament was in a glow. The bluenefs of the 
 ether was exceedingly heightened and enlivened by the 
 feafon of the year, and by the rays of all thofe lumina- 
 ries that pa fled through it. 
 
 2. The Galaxy appeared in its mod beautiful white. 
 To complete the fcene, the full moon rofe at length in 
 that clouded majefty, which Milton takes notice,of, and 
 opened to the eye a new pifture of nature, which was 
 more finely fhaded, and cjifpofed among fofter light?, 
 than that which the fun had before difcovered to us. 
 
 3. As I was furveying the moon walking in her bright- 
 nefs, and taking her progrefs among the conftcllations, 
 a thought arofe in me which I believe very often perplex- 
 es and ditlurbs men of ferious and contemplative natures. 
 David himfelf fell into it in that refletlion, When I 
 confitltr the heavens the ivort: of thy fingers, the KKOJI an-' 
 /lars ivbich thou baft ordained; ixhat is man that tkou art 
 mindful of him, andlbe fin of man that tkou re gar deft him / 
 
 T 3 4. In
 
 210 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY S MONITOR, 
 
 4. In the fame manner when I considered that infinite 
 hoftcf ftars, or, to fpeak more philofophically, of funs, 
 who were then finning upon me, with thofe innumerable 
 fets of planets, or worlds, which were moving round 
 their refpeftive funs; when I dill enlarged the idea, and 
 fuppofed another heaven of funs and worlds rifing ftill 
 above this which we had difcovcred, and thefe ftili en- 
 lightened by a fuperior firmament of luminaries, which 
 are planted at fo great a diftance, that they may appear 
 to the inhabitants of the former as the ftars do to us; in 
 ihort, while I puifued this thought, I could not but re- 
 fled on that little infignificant figure which 1 myfelf bore 
 amidft the immenfity of God's works. 
 
 5. Were the fun, which enlightens this part of the 
 creation, with all the hoft of planetary worlds that move 
 about him, utterly extinguifhed and annihilated, they 
 would not be miffed, more than a grain of fand on the 
 fea-fhore. The fpace they poflefs is lo exceedingly lit- 
 tle in comparifon of the whole, that it would fcarce make 
 a blank in the creation. The chafm would be imper- 
 ceptible to an eye, that could take in the whole compafs 
 of nature, and pafs from one end of the creation to the 
 other; and it is poffible there may be fuch a fenfe in 
 ourfelves hereafter, or in creatures which arc at pre- 
 fent more exalted than ourfelves. 
 
 6. We fee many ftars by the help of glafTes, which we 
 do noi difcover with our naked eyes ; and the finer our 
 telelcopes are, the more ftill are our difcoveries. Hu- 
 genius carries this thought fo far, that he does not think 
 it impoflible there may be ftars whofe light is not yet 
 travelled down to us, fince their firft creation. There 
 is no queftion but the univeife has certain bounds fet to 
 it; but when weconfider that it is the work of infinite 
 
 power,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. Zll 
 
 power, prompted by infinite goodnefs, with an infinite 
 ipace to exert itfelt in, how can our imagination fet any 
 bounds to it ? 
 
 7. To return, therefore, to my firft thought, I could 
 not but look upon myfelf with fecret horror, as a being 
 that was not worth the fmaileft regard of one who had 
 fo great a work under his care and fupcrintendancy. I 
 was afraid of being overlooked amidft the immenfityof 
 nature, and loft among that infinite variety of creatures, 
 \vhich in all probability fwarm through all thefe immea- 
 furable regions of matter. 
 
 In order to reco ver myfelf from this mortifying thought, 
 I confidered that it took its rife from thofe narrow con- 
 ceptions, which we are apt to entertain of the divine na- 
 ture. We ourfelves cannot attend to many different ob- 
 jects at the fame time, if we are careful to infpectforae 
 things, we mud of courfe neglect others. 
 
 8. This imperfection which we obferve in ourfelves is 
 an imperfection that cleaves in fome degree to creatures 
 of the higheft capacities, as they are creatures, that is, 
 beings of finite and limited natures. The prefence of 
 every created being is confined to a certain meafure of 
 fpace, and confequently his obfcrvation is dinted to a 
 certain number of objects. The fphere in which we 
 move, and aft, and understand, is of a wider circumfer- 
 ence to one creature than the other, according as we 
 rife one above another in the fcale of exiftence. 
 
 g. But the wifeft of thefe our fpheres has its circum- 
 ference. When therefore we reflect on the divine na- 
 ture, we are fo ufed and accuftomed to this imperfection 
 in ourfelves, that we cannot forbear in fome meafure 
 afcribing it to him in whom there is no fhadow of imper- 
 fection. Our reafon indeed affures that his attributes are 
 infinite, but the poornefs of our conceptions is fuch, that 
 
 it
 
 Zl'S THfi GENTLEMAT? ANOLADY'S MOKMTOR, 
 
 it cannot forbear letting bounds to every thing it con- 
 templates, till our reafon comes again to our iuccour, 
 and throws down all thofe little prejudices which rife in 
 us unawares, and are natural to the mind of man. 
 
 10. We fliall therefore utterly extinguifli this melan- 
 choly thought, of our being overlooked by our Maker 
 in the multiplicity of his works, and the infinity of thole 
 objects among which he feems to be inceflantly employ- 
 ed, if we confider, in the firft place, that he is onini- 
 prefent ; and in the fecond that he is -omnifcient. 
 
 If we confider him in his omniprefence; ht*&rftpa 
 fes through, actuates and fupportsthe whole frame of na- 
 ture. His creation, and every part of it is full of him. 
 
 11. There is nothing he has made, that is either fo 
 difrant, fo little, pr-fo incor.fiderable, which he does not 
 eflentially inhabit. His fubftance is within the lubftance 
 of every being, whether material or immaterial, and as 
 intimately prefent to it, as that being is to itfeif. It 
 would be an imperfection in him, weie he able to re- 
 move out of one place into another, er to withdraw 
 himfelf from any thing he has created, or from any part 
 of that fpace which is diffufed and fpread abroad to in- 
 finity. In rtiort, to fpeak of him in the language of the 
 old philofophers, he is a Being whofe centre is every- 
 where, and his circumference no-where. 
 
 12. In the fecond place he is omnifcient as well as 
 omniprefent. His oranifcience indeed neceflarily and 
 naturally flows from his omniprefence. He cannot but 
 be confcious ofevery motion that arifes in the whole ma- 
 terial world, which he thus eflentially pervades! and of 
 every thought th.it is ftirring in the intellectual world, 
 to every partof which he is thus intimately united .' Seve- 
 ral moralilts have confidered the creation as the temple of 
 God, which he has built with his own bands, and which 
 is filled with his prelence. 13. Others
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 21$ 
 
 13. Others have confidered infinite fpace as the recep- 
 tacle, or rather the habitation of the Almighty; but the 
 nobleft and inoft exalted way of confidering this infinite 
 fpace is that of Sir Ifaac Newton, who calls it the fen- 
 foriutn of the Godhead. Brutes and men have their 
 fenforiola or \ill\ejenforiurns, by which they apprehend 
 the prefence and perceive the actions of a few objefls, 
 that lie contiguous to them. Their knowledge and ob- 
 fervation turn within a very narrow circle. But as God 
 Almighty Cannot but perceive and know every thing in 
 which he refides, infinite fpace gives room to infinite 
 knowledge, and is, as it were, an organ to omnifcience. 
 
 14. Were the foul feparate from the body, and with 
 one glance of thought fhould ftart beyond the bounds of 
 the creation ; ihould it for millions of years continue its 
 progrefs through infinite fpace with the fame activity, it 
 would (till find itfelf within the embrace of its Creator, 
 and encompaffed round with the immenfity of the God- 
 head. While we are in the body he is not iefs prefent 
 with us, becaufe he is concealed from us. O that / 
 knew tuber e I might find him / fays Job. Behold I go for' 
 ivard, but he is not there ; and backward, $ut I cannot 
 perceive him ; on the left hand, where he does <work, but 
 I cannot behold him j be bldeib himfelf on the right-hand 
 that 1 cannot fee him. In fhort, reafon as well as reveHa- 
 tion aflures us, that he cannot be abfent from us, not- 
 ivithftaniiing he is undifcovered by us. 
 
 15. In this confideration of God Almighty's omnipre- 
 fence and omnifcience, every uncomfortable thought va- 
 niflies. He cannot but regard every thing that has be- 
 ing, efpecially fuch of his creatures who fear they are not 
 regarded by him. He is privy to all their thoughts, and 
 to that anxiety of heart in particular, which is apt to 
 trouble them on this occafion ; as it is impofiible he fhould 
 
 overlook
 
 214 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 overlook any of his creatures, fo we may be confident 
 that he regards, with an eye of mercy, thofe who endea- 
 vour to recommend th^mfelves to his notice, and in un- 
 feigned humility of heart, think tiiemfslves un,vorthy 
 that he fhou'd bs min-.iful ot" them. 
 
 MOTIVES TO PIETY AND VIRTUE, DRAWN 
 FROM THE OMNISCIENCE AND OMNI- 
 PRESENCE OF THE DEIT*. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO. 571. 
 
 i. J.N your paper of Friday the Qth inltant, you had 
 occafion to confider the ubiquity of the Godhead, and 
 at the fame time, to ihew, that as he is prefcnt to every 
 thing, he cannot but be attentive to every thing, and 
 privy to all the modes and pirts of its exiftence ; or, in 
 ether words, that his cmnifcience and omniprefence arc 
 coexiftent, and run together through the whole infini- 
 tude of fpsce. 
 
 2. This confideralion might furnifo us with many 
 incentives to devotion, and motives to morality ; but as 
 this fubjeft has been handled by levera! excellent writers 
 I Hull confider it in a light wherein I have not feen 
 it placed by others. 
 
 Firft, How difconfolate is the condition ot an intellec- 
 tual being who is thus prefent with his Maker, but at 
 the fame time receives no extraordinary benefit or advan- 
 tage from this his prefcnce ! 
 
 3. Secondly, How deplorable is the condition of an 
 intellectual being, who ieels no other effects from this 
 his prefence, but fuch as proceed from divine wrath and 
 indignation! 
 
 Thirdly, How happy is the condition of that intellec- 
 tual being, who is fenfibleof his Maker's prefence from 
 the feccet tffcds of his mercy and loving kindnefs ! 
 
 4. Firft,
 
 ATCD ENGLISH T E A C H E R.'$ ASSISTANT, 21 5 
 
 4. Firft, How difconfolate is the condition of an 
 intellectual being, who is thus prefent \vith his Maker, 
 but at the fame time receives no extraordinary benefit or 
 advantage from this his prefence! Every particle of mat- 
 ter is a&uated by this Almighty Being which paflea 
 through it. The heavens and ihe earth, the {tars and 
 planets, move and gravitate by virtue of this great Prin- 
 ciple within them. All the dead parts of nature are in- 
 vigorated^bvthe prefence of their Creator, and made 
 capable of exerting their rcfpe&ive qualities. 
 
 5. The feveral inftin&s in the brute creation, do like- 
 wife operate and work towards the feveral ends which 
 are agreeable to them, by this divine energy. Man on- 
 ly, who does nut co-operate with his holy fpirit, and is 
 unattentive to his preftnce, receives none of thefe ad- 
 vantages from it, which are perfetive of his nature, and 
 ncceflary to his- well-being. The divinity is with him, 
 and in him, and every where about him, but of no ad- 
 vantage to him. 
 
 6. It is the fame thing to a man without religion, aa 
 if there were no God in the world.. It is indeed impof- 
 fible for an infinite Being to remove himfelf from any of 
 his creatures; but though he cannot withdraw hiseflence 
 from us, which would argue an imperfection in him, he 
 can withdraw from us all the joys and confolations of it. 
 His prefence may perhaps be neceffary to fupport us in 
 our exiftence ; but he may leave this our exiftence to it- 
 felf, with regard to our happinefs or mifery. 
 
 7. For, in this fenfe, he may caft us away from his 
 prefence, and take his holy fpirit from us. This fingle 
 confederation one would think fufficient to make us open 
 our hearts to all thofe infufions of joy and gladnefs which 
 are fo near at hand, and ready to be poured in upon us ; 
 cfpccially.- when we confuler, fecondly, the deplorable 
 
 con.
 
 2l6 THE GENTLEMAN AND L ADV'S MONITOR, ] 
 
 condition of an Intellectual teing who feels no other 
 effects from his Maker's prefence, but fuch as proceed 
 'from divine wrath and indignation ! 
 
 8. We may affure ourfelves, that the great Author of : 
 nature will not always be as one, who is indifferent to ~| 
 any of his creatures. Thofe who will not feel him in hi * 
 love will be fure at length to feel him in his difpleafure. 
 And how dreadful is the condition of that creature, 
 who is only fenfible of the being of his Creator by what 
 he fuffers from him ! He is as efTentially prefent in hell 
 as in heaven ; but the inhabitants of that accurfed 
 place behold him only in his wrath, and fhrink within 
 the flames to conceal themfelves from him. It is not in 
 the power of imagination to conceive the fearful effefts 
 of* omnipotence incenfed. 
 
 9. But I (hall only confider the wretchednefs of an in- 
 tellectual being, who, in this life, lies under the difplea- 
 fure of him, that at all times, and in all places, is inti- 
 mately united with him. He is able to difquiet the foul, 
 and vex it in all its faculties. He can hinder any of the 
 greateft comfoits of life from refrefhing us, and give an 
 edge to every one of its flighted calamities. 
 
 10. Who then can bear the thought of being an out- 
 call from his prefence, that is, from the comforts of it, 
 or of feeling it only in its terrors ? How p'athetic is 
 that expoftulation of Job, when for the real trial of his 
 palience, he was made to look upon himfelf in this de- 
 plorable condition ! Why hajl thou fei me as a mark 
 again/I thee, fa that 1 ajn become a burden to myfelf? But 
 thirdly, how happy is the condition of that intellectual 
 being, who is fenfible of his Maker's ptcfence, from the 
 fecret effe&s of his mercy and loving kindnefs I 
 
 11. The bleffcd in heaven behold him face to face, 
 that is, are as fenfible of his prefence as we are of the 
 
 prefence
 
 AVD ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 217 
 
 prefence of any perfon whom we look upon with our 
 eyes. There is doubtleis a faculty in fp'.rils, by which 
 they apprehend one another, as our fenfes do material 
 objects ; and there is no queftion but our fouls, when 
 they are difembodied, or placed in glorified bodies, will 
 by this faculty, in whatever fpace they refide, be always 
 fenfible of the divine prefence. 
 
 12. We, who have this veil of flefli (landing between 
 us and the world of fpirits, muft be content to know 
 the fpirit of God is prefent with us, by the effects which 
 he produceth in us. Our outward fenfes are too grofo 
 to apprehend him j we may however tafte and fee how 
 gracious he is, by his influence upon our minds, by 
 thofe virtuous thoughts which he awakens in us, by 
 thofe fecret comforts and refreftiments which he conveys 
 into our fouls, and by thofe ravifhing joys and inward 
 fatisfactions which are perpetually fpringing up, and 
 difFufing thcaifelves among all the thoughts of good men. 
 
 13. He is lodged in our very eflence, and is as a foul 
 within the foul to irradiate its understanding, rectify its 
 will, purify its paAlons, and enliven all the powers or 
 man. How happy, therefore, is an intellectual being, who 
 by prayer and meditation, by virtue and good works, 
 opens this communication between God and his own foul. 
 Though the whole creation frowns upon him, and ail 
 nature looks black about him, he has his light and fiip- 
 port within him, that are able to cheer his mind, and 
 bear him up in the midft of all thofe horrors which en- 
 compafs him. 
 
 14. He knows that his helper is at hand, and is al- 
 ways nearer to him than any thing elfe can be, which 
 is capable of annoying or terrifying him. In the midli 
 of calumny or contempt, he attends to that Being who 
 whifpers better things within his foul, and whom he looks 
 
 u upon
 
 2l8 THE GENTLEMAN A N D L A D Y*S M N IT O R, 
 
 upon as his defender, his glory, and the lifter up of his 
 head. In his deeped folitude and retirement, he knows 
 that he is in company with the greateft of beings ; and 
 perceives within himfelf fuch real fenfations of his pre- 
 fence, as are more delightful than any thing that can be 
 met with in the converfation of his creatures. 
 
 15. Even in the hour of death, he confiders the pains 
 of his difiblution to be nothing elfe but the breaking 
 down of that partition, which Hands betwixt his foul and 
 the fight of that Being, who is always prefent with him, 
 and is about to manifeft itfelf to him in fulnefs of joy. 
 
 16. If we, would be thus happy, and thus lenfible of 
 our Maker's prefence, from the fecret effects of his 
 mercy and goodnefs, we muft keep fuch a watch over 
 all our thoughts, that, in the language of the fcripture, 
 his foul may have pleafure in us. We muft take care 
 not to grieve his holy fpirit, and endeavour to make the 
 meditations of our hearts always acceptable in his fight, 
 that he may delight thus to refide and dwell in us 
 
 17. The 'light of nature could direct Seneca to this 
 doctrine, in a very remarkable pnflage among his e- 
 piftles; Sneer ineft in nobis fpiritus, bororum malorumquc 
 cu/loset objervator ; et tjuemadmodum not ilium tradamus, 
 ita et ille nos. * There is a holy fpirit refiding in us, 
 
 * who watches and obferves both good and evil men, 
 
 * and will treat us after the fame manner that we treat 
 
 * him.' But 1 fliall conclude this difcourfe with thofe 
 more emphatical words in divine revelation. If a man 
 love me, be 'will keep my words ; and my Father 'will 
 
 love him, and *vae iviil come unto him, and make our abode 
 luitb him. 
 
 REFLECTIONS
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER. *S ASSISTANT. 
 
 219 
 
 REFLECTIONS ON THE THIRD HEAVEN. 
 
 SP ECT ATOR, NO. 580. 
 
 I.I CONSIDERED in my two laft letters; that awful 
 and tien endous fubjeft, the ubiquity or omniprcfence ol 
 the Divine Being. 1 have fliewn that he is equally preferit 
 in all places throughout the whole extent of infinite 
 fpace. This doftrine is fo agreeable to reafon, that we 
 meet with it in the writings of the enlightened heathens, 
 as I might (hew at large, were it not already done by 
 other hands. But though the Deiiy be thus eflentiaily 
 prefent through all the immenfity of fpace, there is one 
 part of it in which he difcovers himfelf in a mofttranf- 
 cejidant and vifible glory. 
 
 2. This is that place which is marked out in fcrip- 
 ture under the different appellations of Paradife, the 
 third heavgn, the throne of Gael, and the habitation of hit 
 glory. It is here where the glorified body of our Savi- 
 our refides, and where all the celeftial hierarchies, and 
 the innumerable hofts of angels, are reprefented as per- 
 petually furrounding the feat of God with hallelujahs and 
 hymns of praife. This is that prefence of God which 
 fome of the divines call his glorious, and others his 
 majeftic prefence. 
 
 3. He is indeed as eflentiaily prefent in all other 
 places as in this ; but it is here ,where he refides in a 
 fenfible magnificence, and in the midft of all thofe fplen- 
 dors which can affect the imagination of created beings. 
 
 It is very remarkable thai this opinion of God Al- 
 mighty's prefence in heaven, whether difcovered by the 
 light of nature, or by a general tradition from our firll 
 parents, prevails among all the nations of the world, 
 u 2 whatfoever
 
 22O THE GENTLEMAN AKD LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 whatfoever different notions they entertain of the 
 Godhead. 
 
 4. If you look into Homer, that is, .the mod ancient, 
 of the Greek writers, you fee the fupreme power feated 
 in the heavens, and encompafied with inferior deitie?, 
 among whom the rnufes are reprefented as ringing in- 
 ceflantly about his throne. Who does not here fee the 
 main ftrokes and outlines of this grent truth we are 
 fpeaking of? 
 
 5. The fame dodlrine is fliadowed out in many other 
 heathen authors, though at the fame time, like feveral 
 other revealed truths, darned and adulterated with a 
 mixture of fables and human inventions. But to 
 pafs over the notions of the Greeks and Romans, thofe 
 more enlightened parts of the pagan world, we find 
 there is fcarce a people among the late difcovered na- 
 tions who are not trained up in an opinion that heaven 
 is the habitation of the divinity whom they worfliip. 
 
 6. As in Solomon's temple there was the Sanffum 
 SatiSoruntt in which a vifible glory appeared among the 
 figures of the cherubim, and into which none but the 
 high prieft himfelf was permitted to enter, after having 
 made an atonement for the fins of the people ; fo if we 
 confider this whole creation as one great temple, there 
 is in it the Holy of Holies, into which the high priert of 
 our falvation entered, and took his place among angels 
 and archangels, after having made a propitiation for the 
 fins of mankind. 
 
 7 With how much (kill muft the throne of God be 
 erected? With what gloiious defigns is that habitation 
 beautified, which is contrived and built by him who in- 
 ipired Hiram with wifdom ? How great muft be the 
 majefty of that place, where the whole art of creation 
 has been employed, and where God has chofen to ihew 
 
 himfelf
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 221 
 
 himfelf in the mod magnificent manner? What murt 
 be the architecture of infinhe power under the direction 
 of divine wifdom ? A fpirit cannot but be tranfported 
 after an ineffable manner with the fight of thole cbjefts, 
 which were made toaffeft him by that Being who knows 
 the inward frame of a foul, and how to pleafe and ra- 
 vifli it in all its moft fecret powers and faculties. 
 
 8. It is to this majeftic prefence of God, we may ap- 
 ply thofe beautiful exprefilons in holy writ: Behold even 
 to the moon, and it Jhinetb not ; yea the flan are not pure 
 in his fight. The light of the fun, and all the glories of 
 the world in which we live, are but as weak and fickly 
 glimmerings, or rather darknefs itfelf, in comparifon of 
 thofe fplendors which encompafs the throne of God. 
 
 9. As the glory of this place is tranfcendant beyond 
 imagination, fo probably is the extent of it. There is 
 light behind light, and glory within glory. How far 
 that fpace may reach, in which God thus appears in per- 
 fet majefty, we cannot poflibly conceive. Though it 
 is not infinite, it may be indefinite : and though not im- 
 meafurable in itfelf, it may be fo in regard to any creat- 
 ed eye, or imagination. If he has made thefe lower 
 regions of matter fo inconceivably wide and magnificent 
 for the habitation of mortal and perifhable beings, how 
 great may we fuppofe the courts of his houfe to be, 
 where he makes his refidence in a more efpecial manner, 
 and difplays himfelf in the fulnels of his glory, among 
 an innumerable company of angels, and fpirits of juft 
 men made perfect ! 
 
 10. This is certain that our imaginations cannot be 
 raifed too high, when we, think on a place where om- 
 nipotence and omnifcience have fo tignally exerted 
 themfelves, becaufe that they are able to produce a 
 fcene infinitely more great and glorious than what we are 
 
 "able to imagine. U3 u. It
 
 JUZ THE GENTLE.-WAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 \ i. It is not importable but at the confummation of all 
 things, thefe outward apartments of nature, which are 
 now failed to thofe beings who inhabit them, may be 
 taken in and added to that glorious place of which I 
 am here fpeaking j and by that means made a proper 
 habitation for beings who are exempt from mortality, 
 and cleared of their imperfections : for fo the fcripture 
 ieems to intimate when it fpeaks of new heavens and of 
 i. new earth, wherein dwelleth righteoufnefs. 
 
 12. I have only confidered this glorious place with 
 regard to the fight and imagination, though it is highly 
 probable that our other fenfes may here likewife enjoy 
 their higheft gratifications. There is nothing which 
 more raviihes and tranfports the foul, than harmony ; 
 and we ha?e great reafon to believe from the defcrip- 
 tion of this place in holy fcripture, that this is one or 
 the entertainments of it. 
 
 13. And if the foul of man can be fo wonderfully af- 
 fefted with thofe (trains of mufic, which human art is 
 capable of producing, how much more will it be raifed 
 and elevated by thofe, in which is exerted the whole 
 power of hnrmony ! The fenfes are faculties of the hu- 
 man foul, though they cannot be employed, during this 
 our vital union, v.ithout proper inftruments in the body. 
 
 14. Why, therefore, fhould we exclude this fatisfac- 
 tion of thefe faculties, which we find by experience arc 
 inlets of great pleafure to the foul, from among thofe 
 entertainments which are to make up our happinefs 
 hereafter ? Why fhould we fuppofe that our hearing 
 and feeing will not be gratified with thofe objects which 
 are moft agreeable to them, and which they cannot meet 
 within thefe lower regions of nature ; objects, ivhicb 
 neither tye bath fee n, nor ear htatd, Mr can it enter into 
 the heart of man to conceive ? 
 
 15.
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C II E R. 3 ASSISTANT. 22J 
 
 i 5. //KOTO rt jwrtn ' Cbiift (fays St. Paul fpeaking of 
 himlelf) above fourteen years ago (whether in the body, I 
 cannot tell ; or whether out of the body I cannot- tell : God 
 knowelb) fucb a one caught up to the third heaven. And I 
 kneiv jucb a man, ('whether in the bvdy or out of the body, 
 I cannot tell : Go./ knoweth) haiv tbat he was caught vp hito 
 para (lift, and beard unff-eakable words, which it is not 
 fojjinle for a man to utter. 
 
 16. By this is meant, that what he heard was fo in- 
 finitely different from any thing which he had heard in 
 this world, that it was impoffible to exprefs it in fuch 
 words as might convey a notion of it to his hearers. 
 
 It is very natural for us to take delight in inquiries 
 concerning any foreign country, where we are ibme 
 time or other to make our abode ; and as we all hope-to 
 be admitted into this glorious place, it is both a laudable 
 and ufeful curiofity to get what information we can ot 
 it, while we make ufe of revelation for our guide. 
 
 17. When thefe everlafting doors fhall be opened to 
 us, we may be fuie that the pleafures and beauties of 
 this place will infinitely tranfcend our prefent hopes and 
 expectations, and that the glorious appearance of the 
 throne of God will rife infinitely beyond whatever we 
 are able to conceive of it. We mighrhere entertain 
 ourfelves with many other fpeculations on this fubjeft, 
 from thofe feveral hints which we find of it in the holy 
 fcriptures ; as, whether there may not be different man- 
 fions and apartments of glory, to beings of different na- 
 tures? whether, as they excel one another in perfection, 
 they are not admitted nearer to the throne of the Al- 
 mighty, and enjoy greater manifeftations of his prefence. 
 
 1 8. Whether there are not folenm times and occa- 
 fions, when all the multitude of heaven celebrate the 
 
 prefence
 
 2*4 THE GENTLEMAN AND LAl>Y's MONITOR, 
 
 prefence of their Maker, in more extraordinary forms of 
 praife and adoration; as Adam, though he had conti- 
 nued in a ftate of innocence, would, in the opinion of 
 our div-ines, have kept holy the Sabbath-day, in a more 
 particular manner than any other of the feven. Thefe, 
 and the like fpeculations, we may very innocently in- 
 dulge, fo long as we make ufe of them to infpire us with 
 a defire of becoming inhabitants of this delightful place. 
 
 19. I have in this, and in two foregoing letters, treated 
 on the mod ferious fubjeft that can employ the mind of 
 man, the omniprefence of the Deity ; a fubjeft which, 
 if pofllble, fliould never depart from our meditations. 
 We have confidered the Divine Being, as he inhabits 
 infinitude, as he dwells among his works, as he is pre- 
 fent to the mind of man, and as he difcovers himfelf in 
 a more glorious manner among the regions of the bled. 
 Such a confederation fhould be kept awake in us at alt) 
 times, and in all places, and poffcfs our minds with a. 
 perpetual awe and reverence. 
 
 20. It fliould be interwoven with all our thoughts and 
 perceptions, and become one with the confcioufnefe of 
 our own being. It is not to be reflected on in the cold- 
 nefs of philofophy, but ought to fink us into the laweft 
 proftration before him, who is fo aftonifhingly great, 
 wonderful, and holy. 
 
 THE PRESENT LIFE TO BE CONSIDERED- 
 ONLY AS IT MAY CONDUCE TO THE 
 HAPPINESS OF A FUTURE ONE. 
 
 SPECT ATOR, NO. 575. 
 
 I. A LEWD young fellow feeing an aged' hermit go 
 by him barefoot, Father, fays he, you are in a very 
 
 miferable
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 225 
 
 rniferable condition, if there is not another world. True, 
 fon, faid the hermit ; but what is thy condition if there 
 is? Man is a creature defigned for two different ftates 
 of being, or rather, for two different lives. His firft life 
 is /hort and tranfient : his fecond permanent and lading. 
 
 2. The queflion we are all concerned in is this, in 
 *hich of thefe two lives is our chief ititereft to make 
 ourfelves happy? or in other words, whether we fhould 
 endeavour to lecure to ourfelves the pleafures and gra- 
 tifications of a life which is uncertain and precarious, 
 and at its utinoft length of a very inconfiderable duration ; 
 or to fecure to ourfelves the pleafures of a life that is 
 fixed and fettled, and will never end ? Every man, up- 
 on the firft hearing of this queftion, knows very well 
 which fide of it he ought to clofe with. 
 
 3. But however right we are in theory, it is plain 
 that in practice we adhere to the wrong fide of the 
 queftion. We make provisions for this life as though it 
 were never to have an end, and for the other life as 
 though it were never to have a beginning. 
 
 Should a fpirit of fuperior rank, who is a (Iranger to 
 human nature, accidentally alight upon the earth, and 
 take a furvey of its inhabitants, what would his notions 
 of us be ? 
 
 4. Would not he think that we are a fpecies of beings 
 made for quite different ends and purpofes than what we 
 really are ? Muft not he imagine that we were placed in. ' 
 this world to get riches and honours ? Would not he think 
 that it was our duty to toil after wealth, and ftation, 
 and title ? Nay, would not he believe we were for- 
 bidden poverty, by threats of eternal punifnment, and 
 enjoined to purfue our pleafures under pain of damna- 
 tion ? He would certainly imagine that we were influenc- 
 ed by * tchemc of duties quite oppofiie to thofe which 
 re indeed prefctibed to us. 5. And
 
 226 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 5. And truly, according to fuch an imagination, he 
 niuft conclude that we are a ipecies of the moll obe- 
 dient creatures in ihe univerfe ; that we are conttant to 
 our duty ; and that we keep a fteady eye on the end 
 for which we were fent hither. 
 
 But how great would be his aftonifhment, when he 
 learnt that we were beings not defigned to exift in this 
 world above threefcore and ten years ; and that the great- 
 eft part of this bufy fpecies fall fliort even of that age ? 
 
 6. How would he be loft in horror and admiration, 
 when he fhould know that this fet of creatures, who lay 
 out all their endeavours for this life, which fcarce de- 
 fer ves the name of exiftence ; when I fay, he fliould, 
 know that this fet of creatures are to exift to all eternity 
 in another life, for which they make no preparations ? 
 
 7. Nothing can be a greater diigrace to reafon than 
 that men, who are perfuaded of thefe two different ftates 
 of being, fliould be perpetually employed in providing 
 fora life of threefcore arid ten years, and neglecting to 
 make provifion for that which, after many myriads of 
 years, will be ftill new, and ftill beginning ; efpecially 
 when we confider that our endeavours for making our- 
 ftlves great or rich, or honourable, or whatfoever elfe 
 we place our happinefs in, may after all, prove unfuc- 
 cefsful ; whereas, if we conftantly and fincerely endea- 
 vour to make ourfelves happy in the other life, we are 
 fure that oar endeavours will fucceed, and that ws ftull 
 not be difappointed of our hope. 
 
 8. The following queftion is darted by one of the 
 fchoolmen. Suppofing the whole body of the earth were 
 a great ball or mafs of the fineft fand, and that a fingle 
 grain or particle of this fand fhould be annihilated every 
 thoufand years. Suppofing then that you had it in your 
 choice to be huppy all the whiie this- prodigious mate of 
 
 fand
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER S ASSISTANT. 227 
 
 fand was confuting by this flow method till there was 
 not a grain of it left, on condition you were to be mifer- 
 able for ever after ; or fuppofing that you might be 
 happy for ever after, on condition you would be mifer- 
 able till the whole mafs of land were thus annihilated 
 at the rate of one fand in a thoufand years : which of 
 thefe two cafes would you make your choice? 
 
 9. It muft be confefled in this cafe, fo many thou- 
 fands of years are to the imagination as a kind of eter- 
 nity, though in reality they do not bear fo great a pro- 
 portion to that duration which is to follow them, as an 
 unit does to the greateft number which you can put to- 
 gether in figures, or as one ofthofe fandsto thefuppofed 
 heap. Reafon therefore tells us, without any manner 
 of hefitation, which would be the better part in this choice. 
 
 10. However, as I have before intimated, our reafon 
 might in fuch a cafe be fo overfet by the imagination, as 
 to difpofe foine perfons to fink under the confideration 
 of the great length of the firft part of this duration, and 
 of the great diftance of that fecond duration, which is 
 to fucceed it. The mind, I fay, might give itfelf up to 
 that happinefs which is at hand, confidering that it is fo 
 very near, and that it would laft fo very long. 
 
 11. But when the choice we a&ually have before us, 
 is this, whether we will choofe to be happy for the fpace 
 of only threefcore and ten, nay, perhaps of only twenty 
 or ten years, I might fay of only a day or an hour, and 
 rnilerable to all eternity ; or on the contrary, miferable 
 for this fhort term of years, and happy for a whole eter- 
 nity j what words are fufficient to exprefs that folly and 
 want of confideration which in fuch a cafe makes a wrong 
 choice ? 
 
 12. I here put the cafe even at the worft, by fuppof- 
 ing (what feldom happens) that acourfe of virtue makes
 
 JUS THE GENTLE MAM AND LA^v's MONITOR, 
 
 us niiferable in this life : but if we fuj*ofe (as it gene- 
 rally happens) that virtue will make us mure happy even 
 in this life than a contrary courfe of vice ; how can we 
 fufficiently admire the ftupidity or niadnefs of thofe per- 
 fons who are capable of making fo abfurd a choice? 
 
 13? Every wife man, therefore, will confuier this life 
 only as it may conduce to the happinefs of the other, 
 and chearfully facrifice the pleafures of a few years 10 
 thofe of eternity. 
 
 ON THE IMMORTALITY OF THE SOUL. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO. III. 
 
 I . JL WAS yefterday walking alone in one of my friend's 
 woods, and loft myfeif in it very agreeably, as I was 
 running over in my mind the feveral arguments that 
 eftablilh this great point, which is the bafis of rv.oraliry, 
 and the fource of all the pleafing hopes and fecret jcys 
 that can niife in the heart of a reafonable creature. 
 
 2. I confidered thofe feveral proofs drawn, Firft, 
 from the nature of the foul itfelf, and particularly its 
 immaterially ; which though not abfolutely neccfTary 
 to the eternity of its duration, has, I think, been evinc- 
 ed to almoft a demonftration. 
 
 Secondly, from its paffions and fentiments, as particu- 
 larly from its love of exiftence, its horror of annihilation, 
 and its hopes of immortality, with that fecret fatisfa&ion 
 which it finds in the practice of virtue, and that un- 
 eafinefs which follows it upon the commifllon of vice. 
 
 3. Thirdly, from the nature of the fupreme Being, 
 whofe jullice, goodnefs, wifdom, and veracity, are all 
 concerned in this point. 
 
 But among thefe and other excellent arguments for 
 the immortality of the foul, there is one drawn from the 
 
 perpetual
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 22f 
 
 perpetual progrefs of the foul to its perfection, without 
 a poffibility of ever arriving at it j which is a hint that 
 1 do not remember to have feen opened and improved 
 by others who have written on this fubjeft, though it 
 feeins to me to carry a very great weight with it. 
 
 4. How can it enter into the thoughts of ir.an^ that 
 the foul, which is capable of fuch immenfe perfections, 
 and of receiving new improvements to all eternity, fliall 
 
 fall away into nothing almoft as foon as it is created? 
 Are fach abilities made for no purpofe ? A brute arrives 
 ot a point of perfe&ion that he can never pafs: in a few 
 years he has all the endowments he is capable of; and 
 were he to live ten thoufand more, would be the fame 
 thing he is at prefent. 
 
 5. Were a human foul thus at a ftand in her accom- 
 plifliments, were her faculties to be full blown, and in- 
 capable of farther enlargements, I could imagine it might 
 fall away infenfibly, and drop at once into a ftate of an- 
 nihilation. 
 
 6. But can we believe a thinking being that is in a 
 perpetual progrefs of improvements, and travelling on 
 from perfection to perfection, after having juft looked 
 abroad into the works of its Creator, and made a few 
 difcoveries of his infinite goodnefs, wifdom, and power, 
 muft perifh at her firil fetting out, and in the very be- 
 ginning of her enquiries ? 
 
 A man confidered in his prefent ftate, feems only fent 
 into the world to propagaie his kind. He provides him- 
 felf with a fucceffbr, and immediately quits his poll to 
 make room for him. 
 
 . Hares 
 
 ll<rtdem alteriut, velut unda fupervenit undam. 
 
 HOR. EP. 2. I. Z..V. 17$. 
 
 Heir crowds heir, as in the rolling flood, 
 
 Wa ve ""urges wave. CREECH. 
 
 x 7. He
 
 23O THE GENTLEMAN AND L A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 7. He does not feem born to enjoy life, bui to deli- 
 ver it down to others. This is not furprifmg to confider 
 in animals, which are formed for our ufe, and can finifh 
 their bufmefs 'n a fliort life. The iiik-wonn, after 
 having fpun her talk, lays her egg, and dies. But a 
 man can never have taken in his full nteafure of know- 
 ledge, has not time to fubdue his paflions, eftabliih his 
 ibul in virtue, and come up to the perfection of his na- 
 ture, before he is hurried off the ftage. 
 
 8. Would an infinitely wife Being make fuch glorious 
 creatures for fo mean a purpofe ? Can he delight in the 
 production of fuch abortive intelligences, fuch fliort 
 lived reafonable beings ? Would he give us talents that 
 are not to be exerted ; capacities that are never to be 
 gratified ? How can we find that wifdoin which fhines 
 through all his works, in the formation of man, without 
 looking on this world as only a nurfery for the next, and 
 believing that the feveral generations of rational crea- 
 tures, which rife up and cifappear in fuch quick fuccef- 
 fions, are only to receive their firft rudiments of exiftence 
 here, and afterwards to be tranfplanted into a more 
 friendly climate, where they may fpread and flounfli to 
 all eternity ? 
 
 9. There is not, in my opinion, a more pleafing and 
 triumphant confideration in religion than this, of the 
 perpetual progreis which the foul makes towards the 
 perfection of his nature, without ever arriving at a pe- 
 rioJ in it. To look upon the ioul as going on from 
 ftrength to ftrenglh, to confider that flie is to fliine for 
 ever with new accefllons of glory, and brighten to all 
 eternity: that flie will be ftill adding virtue to virtue, 
 and knowledge to knowledge ; carries in it fomething 
 wonderfully agreeable to that ambition which is natural 
 to the mind of man. Nay it mutt be a profpect pleaf- 
 ing
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 2JI 
 
 ing to God himfelf, to fee his creation for ever beautify- 
 ing in his eyes, and drawing nearer to him, by greater 
 degrees of refemblance. 
 
 10. Methinks this fingle Confederation, of the progrefs 
 of a finite fpirit to perfection, will be fufficient to extin- 
 guifli all envy in inferior natures, and all contempt in a 
 fnperior. That cherub which now appears as a god 
 to a human foul, knows very well that the period will 
 come about in eternity, when the human foul iliall be 
 as perfect as he himfelf now is: nay, when {he fliall look 
 down upon that degree of perfection as much as fhe now 
 falls fliort of it. It is true, the higher nature dill ad- 
 vances, and by that means prcferves his diflance and fu- 
 pcfionty in the fcale of being} but he knows that, how 
 high foever the ftation is of which he fiands poiTefled 
 at prefent, the inferior nature will at length mount up 
 to it, and fliine forth in the fame degree of glory! 
 
 1 1 . With what aftonimment and veneration may we 
 look into our own fouls, where there are fuch hidden 
 ftores of virtue and knowledge, fuch inexhaufted fources 
 of perfection ? We know not yet what we mall be, nor 
 will it ever enter into the heart of man to conceive the 
 glory that wjll be always in referve for him. The foul, 
 contidered with its Creator, is like one of thofe mathema- 
 tical lines that may draw nearer to another for eternity, 
 without a pofllbiliiy of touching it: and can there be a 
 thought fo tranfporting, as to confider ourfelves in thcfe 
 perpetual approaches to him, who is not only the ftand- 
 ard of perfection, but of happinefs ? 
 
 ON
 
 "2JZ THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ON THE ANIMAL WORLD, AND THE SCALE 
 OF BEINGS. 
 
 SPECT ATOR, NO. $ig. 
 
 1.1 HOUGH there is a great deal of pleafure in con- 
 templating the material world, by which I mean that 
 fyftem of bodies into which nature has fb curioufly 
 wrought the mafs of dead matter, with the feveral rela- 
 tions which thofe bodies bear to one another ; there is 
 fiill, methinks, fomelhing- more wonderful and furprifing 
 in contemplations on the world of life, by which I mean 
 all thofe animals with which every part of the univerfe 
 is furnifhed. The material world is only the fhell of 
 the-uniyerfe: the world of life are its inhabitants. 
 
 2. If we confider thofe parts of the material world 
 which lie the neareft to us, and are therefore fubjefl to 
 our obfervations and enquiries, it is amazing to confider 
 the infinity of animals with which it is flocked. Every 
 part of matter is peopled : every green leaf fwarms with 
 inhabitants. There is fcarce a fingle humour in the body 
 of a man, or of any other animal, in which our glaflcs 
 do not difcover myriads of living creatures. 
 
 3. The furface of animals is alfo covered with other 
 animals, which are in the fame manner the bafis of other 
 animals that live upon it ; nay, we find in the moft folid 
 bodies, as in marble itfelf, innumerable cells and cavities, 
 'that are crowded with fuch imperceptible inhabitants, 
 as are ton little for the naked eye to difcover. On the 
 other hand, if we look into the more bulky parts of na- 
 ture, we fee the feas, lakes, and rivers, teeming with 
 mi;nberlefs kinds of living creatures: we find every 
 mountain and niarli, wildernefs and wood, plentifully 
 
 (locked
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT^ 2J3 
 
 flocked with birJs and beafts, and every part of matter 
 affording proper neceflaries and conveniences for the 
 livelihood of multitudes which inhabit it. 
 
 4. The author of the Plurality of Worlds, draws a 
 very good argument from this confideration, for the 
 peopling of every planet ; as indeed it feems very pro- 
 bable from the analogy of rea!bn, that if no part of mat- 
 ter, which we are acquainted with, lies wafte and ufelefs, 
 thofe great bodies, which are at fuch a diftance from us, 
 fliould not be defert and unpeopled, but rather that 
 they fliould be furniilied with beings adapted to their 
 refpeclive fituafiorr. 
 
 5. Exigence is a bleflmg to thofe beings only which 
 are endowed with perception, and is in a manner thrown 
 away upon dead matter, any farther than as itislubfer- 
 vient to beings which are confcious of their exigence. 
 Accordingly we fwd, from the bodies which lie under 
 our obfervation, that matter is only made as the bafis 
 and fupport of aivimals, and that there is no more of the 
 one, than what is neceffiiry for the exiftence of the other.' 
 
 6. Infinite goodnefs is of fo communicative . nature, 
 that it feems to delight in the conferring of exiftence up- 
 on every degree of perceptive being. As this is a fpe- 
 cubtron, which I have often purfued with great p'eafure 
 to myfelf, I fliall enlarge farther upon it, by confidering 
 that part of the fcale of beings which conies "within our 
 knowledge. 
 
 7. There are fome living creatures which are raifed 
 but juft above dead matter. To mention only that 
 fpecies offheH filli, which are formed in the fartiion of 
 a cone, that grow to the furface of feveral rocks, and 
 immediately die upon their being fevered from the place 
 where they grow. There are many other creatures but 
 one remove from thefe, which have no other fenfe befides 
 
 x 3 that
 
 234- ' rHE GENTLEMAN AND LACY's MONITOR, 
 
 that of feeling and tafte. Others have (till an additional 
 one of hearing; others of fmell ; and others of fight. 
 
 8. Tt is wonderful to obferve, by what a gradual pro- 
 grefs the world of life advances through a prodigious 
 variety of fpecies, before a creature is formed that is 
 complete in all its fenfes; and even among thefe there is 
 fuch a different degree of perfection in the fenfe which 
 one animal enjoys beyond what appears in another, 
 though the fenfe in different animals be diflinguilhed by 
 the fame common denomination, it feems almoft of a 
 different nature. 
 
 9. If after this we look into the feveral perfections of 
 cunning and fogacity, or what we generally cail inftinct, 
 we find them rifing after the fame manner imperceptibly 
 one above another, and receiving additional improve- 
 ments, according to the fpecies in which they are im- 
 planted. Thisprogrefs in nature is fo very gradual, that 
 the moil perfeft of an inferior fpecies comes very near to 
 the moft imperfcft ct that which is immediately aboveit. 
 
 10. The exuberant and overflowing goodnefe of the 
 Supreme Being, whofe mercy extends to all his works, 
 is plainly fcen, as I have before hinted, from his having 
 made fo very little matter, at lead what falls wilhin our 
 knowledge, that docs not fwarm with life: nor is hi 
 goodnefs kfs feen in the diverfity, than in the multitude 
 of living creatures. Had he only made one fpecies of 
 animals, none of the reft would have enjoyed the hap- 
 pinefs of exittence ; he has, therefore, fpecifed in his 
 creation every degree of life, every capacity of being. 
 
 11. The whole chafm of nature, from a plant to a 
 man, is filled up with divers kinds of creatures, rifing one 
 over another, by fuch a gentle and eafy afcent, that the 
 little tranfuions and deviations fiom one fpecies to ano- 
 ther arc alaiofl. tnfenfible. This intermediate fpace is 
 
 fo
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT, 2j$ 
 
 fo well hufbanded and managed, that there is fcarce a 
 degree -of perception which does not appear in fome 
 one part of the world of life. Is the goodnefs, or wif- 
 dom of the Divine Being, more manifeiled in this his 
 proceeding ? 
 
 12. There is a confequence, befides thofe I have al- 
 ready mentioned, which feems very naturally deducible 
 from the foregoing confiderations. If the Icale of be- 
 ing rifes by fuch a regular progrefs, fo high as man, we 
 may by a parity of reafon fuppofe that it flill proceeds 
 gradually through trrofe beings which are of a fuperior 
 nature to him; fince there is an infinitely greater fpace 
 and room for different degrees of perfection between the 
 Supreme Being and man, than between man and the 
 uioft defpicable infect. 
 
 13. The confequence of fo great a variety of beings 
 which are fuperior to us, from that variety which is in- 
 ferior to us, is made up by Mr. Locke, in a paifage which 
 1 fhall here fct down, after having premifed, that not- 
 withftanding there is fuch infinite room between man 
 and his Maker for the creative power to exert itfelf in, 
 it is impoflible that it fliould ever be filled up, fince 
 there will be (till an infinite gap or diftance between the 
 higheft created being, ad the power which produced 
 him. 
 
 14. That there fliould be more fpecies of intelligent 
 creatures above us, than there are of lenfible and mate- 
 rial below us, is probable to me from hence ; that in all 
 the vifible corporeal world, we fee no ^chafms, or no 
 gaps. All quite down from us, the defcent is by eafy 
 fteps, and a continued (cries of things, that in each re- 
 move differ very little one from the other. Thete ara 
 fifties that have wings and are not grangers to the 
 airy regidn; and there are foaie birds, that are inhabi- 
 tants
 
 236 THE GENTLEMAN AND L ADY's MONITOR, 
 
 tants of the water ; whofe blood is cold as fifties, and 
 their flefh is fo like in tafte, that the fcrupulous are aK 
 lowed them on fifh days. 
 
 15. There are animals fo near of kin both to bird* 
 and beails, that they are in the middle between both: 
 amphibious animals link the terreftriat and aquatic to- 
 gether ; feals live at land and fea, and porpoifes have the 
 warm blood and. entrails of a hog ; not to mention what 
 is confidently reported of mermaids, or fea-men. There 
 are fome brutes, that feera to have as much knowledge 
 and reafon, as fome that are called men ; and the ani- 
 mal and vegetable kingdoms are fo nearly joined, that if 
 you will take the loweft of one, and the higheft ofthe- 
 other, there will fcarce be perceived any great difference 
 between them: and fo on till we come to the loweft and 
 the moft inorganical parts of matter, we iliall find every 
 where that the (everzl fpecies -are linked together, arxi 
 differ but in almotl infenfible degrees. 
 
 16. And when we confider the infinite power and 
 wifdom of the Maker, we have reafon to think that it is 
 fuitable to the magnificent harmony of the univerfe, and 
 the great defign and infinite goodnefs of the architect, 
 that ike fptcies of creatures fhould alfo, by gentle de- 
 grees, afcend upward from us toward his infinite perfec- 
 tion, as we fee they gradually defcend from us down- 
 ward : which, if it be probable, we have reafon then to 
 be perfuaded, that there are far moreffecies of creatures 
 above us, than there are beneath ; we being in degrees 
 of perfection much more remote from the infinite Being 
 of God, than we are from the loweft ftate of being, and 
 that which approaches neareft to nothing. And yet of 
 all thofe diltinty/*d, we have no clear diftincl iJeas. 
 
 17. in this fyftem of being, there is no creature fo 
 wonderful in its nature, ami which fo much del'erves our 
 
 particular
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 237 
 
 particular attention, as man. who fills up the middle 
 fpace between the animal and intellectual nature, the 
 vifible and invifible world, and is that link in the chain 
 of beings which has been often termed the Nexus utri- 
 ufque mundi. So that he who in one refpeft is aftbciat- 
 ed with angels and archangels, may look upon a Being * 
 of infinite perfection as his father, and the higheft order 
 of fpirits as his brethren ; may in another refpecl fay to 
 corruption, thou art my father , and to the worm, tbou art 
 my mother and 
 
 PROVIDENCE PROVED FROM ANIMAL 
 INSTINCT. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO, 12O. 
 
 I 
 
 MUST confefs I am infinitely delighted with thofe 
 fpeculations of nature which are to be made in a coun- 
 try-life; and as my reading has very much lain among 
 books of natural hiftory, I cannot forbear recollecting, 
 upon this occafion, the feveral remarks which I have 
 met with in authors, and comparing them with what 
 falls under my own obfervation ; the arguments for pro- 
 vidence drawn from the natural hiftory of animals being, 
 in my opinion, demonflrative. 
 
 2. The make of every kind of animal is different from 
 that of every other kind ; and there is not the leaft turn 
 in the mufcles or twift in the fibres of any one, which 
 does not render them irore proper for that particular 
 animal's way of life, than any other caft or texture of 
 them would have been. 
 
 The moft violent appetites in all creatures are luft and 
 hunger: the firft is a perpetual call upon them to pro- 
 pagate their kind ; the latter _ preferve themfelves. 
 
 3. It is ailonifliing to confider the different degrees of 
 care that defcend from the parent to the young, fa far 
 
 as
 
 238 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 as is abfolutely necelTary for the leaving a pofterity. 
 Some creatures caft their eggs aj chance directs them, 
 and think of them no farther, as infefts and feveral kinds 
 of fifh ; others, of a nicer frame, find out proper beds 
 to depofit them in, and there leave them ; as theferpent, 
 the crocodile, and oftrich ; others hatch their eggs, and 
 tend the birth, till it is able to fhift for itfelf. 
 
 4. What can we call the principle which direfts every 
 different kind of bird to obferve a particular plan in the 
 ftrufture of its neft, and directs all of the fame fpecies 
 to work after the fame model? It cannot be imitation; 
 for though that you hatch a crow under a hen, and 
 never let it fee any of the works of its own kind,, the 
 ueft it makes fhall be the fame t to the laying cf -& (li.k, 
 v:ith aii the other nefts of the fame fpecies. It cannot 
 be reafon $ for were animals endued with it to as great 
 a degree as man, their buildings would be as different 
 as ours, according to the* different conveniences that 
 they would propofe to themfelves". 
 
 5. Is it not remarkable that the fame temper of weather, 
 which raifes this general warmth in animals, fliould cover 
 the trees with leaves, and the fields with graft, for the fe- 
 curity and concealment, and produces fuchinfinite fwarm* 
 of infects for the fupport and fuftenacce of their refpeo 
 tive broods ? 
 
 Is it not wonderful that the love of the parent fliould 
 be (o violent while it lafts, and that it fhould laft no 
 longer than is necelTary for the prefervation of the young ? 
 
 6. The violence of this natural love is exemplified by 
 a very barbarous experiment ; which I fhall quote at 
 length, as 1 find it in an excellent author, and hope my 
 reader will pardon the mentioning fuch an inftance of 
 cruelty, becaufe there is nothing can to effectually fhew 
 the ftrength of that principle in animals of which lam 
 here fpeaking. 7. " A
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C H E R'S ASSISTANT. 239 
 
 7. " A perfon, who was well (killed in directions, 
 " opened a bitch, and as Hie lay in the moft exquifite 
 " tortures, offered her one of her young puppies, which 
 " flie immediately fell a licking ; and for the time ieeim 
 " ed infenfible of her own pain: on the removal, flie 
 " kept her eye fixed on it, and began a wailing fort of a 
 " cry, which feemed rather to proceed from the lots of 
 " her young, than the fenfe of her own torments." 
 
 8. But notwithflandmg this natural love in brutes is 
 much more violent and intenfe than in rational creatures, 
 Providence has taken care that^it fliould be no longer 
 troublefome to the parent than it is ufeful to the young; 
 for fo foon as the wants of the latter ceafe, the mother 
 wijjidraws her fondnefs, and leaves them to provide for 
 themfelves; and what is a very remarkable circumstance 
 in this part of inftincl, we find that the love of the pa- 
 rent may be lengthened out beyond its ufual time, if the 
 prefervation of the fpecies requires it j as we may fee 
 in birds that drive away their young, as foon as they 
 are able to get their livelihood, but continue to feed 
 them if they are tied to the nelt, or confined within a 
 cage, or by any other means appear to be out of con- 
 dition of fuppiying their own neceflities. 
 
 9. This natural love is not obferved in animals to af- 
 cend from the young to the parent, which is not at all 
 neceffary for the continuance of the fpecies : nor indeed 
 in reafoiiable creatures does it rife in any proportion, 
 as it fpreads itfelf downwards ; for in all family affec- 
 tion, we rind protection granted, and favours beftowed, 
 are greater motives to love and tendernefs, than fafety, 
 benefits, or life^ received. 
 
 One would wonder to hear fceptical men difputing 
 for the reafon of animals, and telling us it is only our 
 pride and prejudices that will not allow them the ufe 
 of that faculty. 10. Reafoa
 
 2^0 THE GENTLEMAM AVD LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 10. Reafon fliews itfelf in all occurrences of life; 
 whereas the brute makes no difcovery of fuch a talent, 
 biit in what immediately regards his own preservation, 
 or the continuance of his fpecies. Animals in their ge- 
 neration are wifer than the fons of men ; but their wif- 
 com is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very 
 narrow covnpafs. Take a brute out of his inftinft, and 
 you find him wholly deprived of understanding. To 
 ufe an inftance that comes often under oblervation. 
 
 11. With what caution does the hen provide herfelf 
 a neft in places unfrequented, and free from noife and 
 difturbance ? When fhe has laid her eggs in fuch a 
 manner that fhe can cover them, what care does fhe 
 take in turning them frequently, that all parts may par- 
 take of the vital warmth ? When ilie leaves them, to 
 provide for her neceffary fuftenance, how punctually 
 does flie return before they have time to cool, and be- 
 come incspable of producing an animal? In the fummer, 
 you fee her giving herfelf greater freedoms, and quitting 
 her care for above two hours together ; but in winter, 
 when the rigour of the feafon would chill the principles 
 of life, and deftroy the young one, fhe grows more afii- 
 duous in her attendance, and flays away but half the time. 
 
 12. When the birth approaches, with how much 
 nicety ard attention does fhe help the chick to break 
 its prifon ? Not to take notice of her covering it from 
 the injuries of the weather, providing it proper nourifh- 
 nient, and teaching it to help itfelf; nor to mention 
 her forfaking the neft, if after the ufual time of reckon- 
 ing, the young one does not make its appearance. A 
 chymical operation could not be followed with greater 
 art or diligence, than isfeen in the hatching of a chick ; 
 though there are many other birds that fhcw an infinite- 
 ly greater fagacity in all the fsre-mentioned particulars. 
 
 13. But
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 241 
 
 13, But at the fame time the hen, that has all this 
 fceming ingenuity, (which is indeed abfolutely neceflary 
 for the propagation of the fpecies) confidered in other 
 refpefts, is without the lead glimmerings of thought or 
 common fenfe. She niiltakes a piece of chalk for an 
 egg, and fits upon it in the fame manner: fhe is infen- 
 fible of any increafe or diminution in the number ofthofe 
 fhe lays : fhe does not diftinguifh between her own and 
 thofe of another fpecies ; and when the birth appears of 
 never To different a bird, will cherifh it for her own. In 
 all thefe circumftances, which do not carry an immediate 
 regard to the fubilitence -ofherfelf or her fpecies, fhe is 
 a very idiot. 
 
 14. There is not, in my opinion, any thing more 
 myfterious in nature than this inftint in animals, which 
 thus rifes above reafon, and falls infinitely fhort of it. It 
 cannot be accounted for by any properties in matter, 
 and at the fame time works after fo odd a manner, that 
 one cannot think it the faculty of an intellectual being. 
 For my own part, I look upon it as upon the principle of 
 gravitation in bodies, which is not to be explained by 
 any known qualities inherent in the bodies themfelves, 
 nor from any laws of mechanifm 4 but according to tb 
 beft notions of the greatett philofophers, is an immediate 
 nnpreilion from the firft mover, and the divine energy 
 acling in the creature. 
 
 GOOD BREEDING. 
 
 i. COMPLAISANCE renders a fupertor amiable, an 
 equal agreeable, and an inferior acceptable, Itfmooths 
 ditlinttion, iweetens conveifation, and makes every one 
 in the company pleafed with himleif. It produces good- 
 nature and mutual benevolence, encourages the timorous, 
 Y foothes
 
 24* T HE GENTLEMAN A N D L A DY~'s MONITOR, 
 
 foothes the turbulent, humanizes the fierce, and cfiftin- 
 gui flies a fociety of civilized perfons from the con'ufion 
 of favages. In a word, complaifance is a virtue that 
 blends all orders of men together in a friendly intercourfe 
 of words and aftions, and is fuited to that equality in 
 human nature which every one ought to confider, fo far 
 as is confident with the order and ceconomy of the world. 
 
 2. If we could look into the fecret anguiiK and afflic- 
 tion of ev.ery man's heart, we fliould often find, that 
 more of it ariles from little imaginary diftrefles, fuch as 
 checks, frowns, contradictions, 'expreflions of contempt, 
 (and what Shakefpeare reckorfs among other evils under 
 the fun, 
 
 " The poor man's contumely, 
 
 " The infolence of office, and the fpurns 
 *' That patient merit of the unworthy takes,") 
 than from the more real pains and calamities of life. 
 The only method to remove thefe imaginary diftrefles 
 as much as pofllble out of human life, would be, the 
 Univerfal pradlice of fuch an ingenuous cpmplaifunce as I 
 have been here defcribing, which, as it is a virtue, may 
 be defined to be a " conftant endtavour to pleafe thofe 
 " whom we converfe with fo far as we may do it inno- 
 cently." 
 
 3. Good-breeding neceflarily implies civility ; but ci- 
 vility does not reciprocally imply good-breeding. Th 
 former has it intrinfic weight and value, which the lat- 
 ter always adorns, and often doubles by its wurkinanfhip. 
 
 To facritice one's o\vn felt-lore to other people's, is a 
 fliort, but I believe, a true definition of civility : to do it 
 with eafe, propriety and grace, is goovl-breeding. The 
 one is the refult of gooii-nature ; the other of good fenfe, 
 joined to experience, obfervatfe'n/ and attention. 
 
 4. A
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 243 
 
 4.. A ploughman will be civil, it he is good-natured, 
 but cannot be well-bred. A courtier will be well-bred, 
 though perhaps without good nature, if he has but good 
 fenfe. Flattery is the di (grace of good- breeding, as bru- 
 tality often is of truth and fuicerity. Good-breeding is 
 the middle point between thole two odious extremes. 
 Ceremony is the fuperltition of good-breeding, as well 
 as of religion : but yet, being an out- work to both, fliould 
 not be abiolutely demolifKed. It is always, to a certain 
 degree, to be complied with, though defpiled by thofe 
 who think,, becauie admired and refpefted by thofe who 
 do not. 
 
 5. The moil perfecl degree of good-breeding, as I 
 have already hinted, is only to be acquired by great 
 knowledge of the world, and keeping the belt company. 
 It is not the object of mere fpeculation, and cannot be 
 exa&ly defined,. as it con (ills in a fitnefs, a propriety of 
 words, actions, and even looks, adapted to the infinite 
 variety and combinations of perfons, places, and things. 
 It is a mode, not afubftance ; for what is good-breeding 
 at St. James's, would pafs for foppery or banter in a 
 remote village ; and the home-fpun civility of that vil- 
 lage, would be confidered as brutality at court. 
 
 6. Acloiftered pedant may form true notions of civi- 
 lity ; but if amid (I the cobwebs of his cell he pretends 
 tofpin a fpeculative fyftem of good-breeding, he will 
 not be lels abfurd than his predeceflbr, who judicioufly 
 undertook co iutlrucl Hannibal in the art of war. The 
 moft ridiculous and moft aukward of men, are, therefore, 
 the fpeculatively well-bred monks of all religions and all 
 pr&fefilons. 
 
 7. Good-breeding, like charity, not only covers a 
 
 multitude of faults, but, to a certain degree, fupplies the 
 
 want of fonie virtues. In the common intercpurfe of life, 
 
 Y z it
 
 244 THE GENTLEMAN' AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 it acts good nature, and often does what good- nature 
 will not always do ; it keeps both wits and fools within 
 thole bounds of decency, which the former are too apt 
 to tranfgrefs, and which the latter never know. Courts 
 are unqueflionably the feats of good-breeding : and 
 mud neceiTarily be fo : otherwife they would be the feats 
 of violence and defolation. There all the pafilons are 
 in their higheft (late of fermentation, 
 
 8. All purfue what bat few can obtain, and many feck 
 what but one can enjoy. Good-breeding alone retrains 
 their excefTes. There, if enemies did not embrace they 
 would (tab. There, fmiies are often put on to conceal 
 tears. There, mutual fervices are profefled, while mu- 
 tual injuries are intended j and there, the guile of the 
 ferpent fimulates the gentlenefs of the dove; all this, it , 
 is true, at the expence of fincerity ; but, upon the whole, 
 to the advantage of focial intercourfe in general. 
 
 9. I would not be mifapprehended, and fuppofed to 
 recommend good-breeding, thus prophaned and profti- 
 tuted to the purpofes of guilt and perfidy; but I think 
 I may juftly infer from it, to what a degree the accom- 
 plifhment of gocd-breeding muft adorn and enforce vir- 
 tue- and truth, when it can thus fcften the outrages and 
 deformity cf vice and falfehood. I am forry to be ob- 
 liged to confefs, that my nntive country is not perhaps 
 the feat of the molt perfect good- breeding, though I 
 really believe, that it yields to none in hearty and fin- 
 cere civility, as far as civility is (and to a certain degree 
 it is) an inferior moral duty of doing as one would be 
 done by. 
 
 10. If France exceeds us in that particular, the in- 
 comparable author of L'Efprit Jet Loix accounts for it 
 Tery impartially, and I believe very truly. ' If my 
 '* countrymen, fays he, are the bcft-bred people in the 
 
 ' world,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 2^5 
 
 " world, it is only becaufe they are the vaineft." It is 
 certain that their good-breeding and attentions, by flat- 
 tering the vanity and fdf-Iove of others, repay their own 
 with interell. It is a general commerce, uiuaily carried 
 on by a barter of attentions, and often without one graia 
 of folid merit, by way of medium, to make up the balance. 
 
 11. It were to be widied that good breeding were in, 
 general thought a .more tfieqliaJ part of- the education 
 of our youth, efpecialiy of ciitlinclion, than at prefent it 
 feems to be. ft might even be fubiiituted in ihe room 
 of fome academical lludies-, that take up a great deal of 
 time, to very little purpofe; or at leaft, it might ufefully 
 iliare fome of thofe. many hours, that are fo frequently 
 eiiiployed upon a coach- box, or in (tables. Surely thofe, 
 who by their rank and fortune are called to adorn courts, 
 ought at lead not to diigrace them by their manners. 
 
 12. But I obferve with concern that it is the fartiion 
 for our 'youth of both fexes to brand good- breeding 
 with the name of ceremony and formality. As fuch, 
 they ridicule and explode it, and adopt in its ttead, an 
 offenfive carekffnefs and inattention, to the diminution, 
 I will venture to fay, even of their own pleafures, if they 
 know what true pUafures are. Love and fiienclfhip ne- 
 ceflarily product, and juftly authorize familiarity ; but 
 tlien good-breeding muft mark out its bounds, and fay, 
 thus far fhalt thou go, and no farther : for I have known 
 many a paflion and many a friendfliip, degraded, weak- 
 ened, and at laft (if I may ufe the exprefiion) wholly Slat- 
 terned away, by an unguarded and illiberal familiarity. 
 
 13. Nor is good-breeding lefs the ornament and ce- 
 ment of common focial life: it connects, it endears, and 
 at the fame that it indulges the juft liberty, rcltrains that 
 indecent licentioufnefs or conver.atidn, which alienates 
 and provokes. Great talents make a man famous, great 
 v 3 merit'.
 
 24.6 THE 6ENTI.EMAir AND L A DY*S MONITOR, 
 
 merit makes him refpecled, and great learning makes 
 him efteemed ; but good-breeding alone can make him 
 beloved. 
 
 14. I recommend it in a more particular manner to 
 my country- women, as the greateft ornament to fuch of 
 them ns have beauty, and the fafeft refuge for thofe who 
 have not. It facilitates the viftories, decorates the 
 triumphs, and fecures the concerts of beauty ; or in force 
 degree atones for the want of ir. H-almoft deifies a fine 
 woman, and procures a refpecl at**leaft to thofe, who 
 have not charms enough to be admired. Upon the 
 whole, though good-breeding cannor, ftrictly fpeaking, 
 be cal'ed a virtue, yet it is productive of ib many good 
 cffecls, that in my opinion it may be juftjy reckoned, 
 more than a mere accomplishment. 
 
 WORLD, NO. 143 
 
 FURTHER REMARKS TAKEN FROM LORD 
 CHESTERFIELDS LETTERS TO HIS SON. 
 
 i $. GOOD-BREEDING has been very juftly defined 
 to be " the refult of much good fenfe, fome good na- 
 " ture, and a little felf-denial for the fake of others, and 
 " with a view to obtain the fame indulgence from them." 
 
 Good-breeding alone can prepoflefs people in our fa- 
 vour at firft fight; more time being neceflary to difcover 
 greater talents. Good- breeding, however, does not con- 
 fift in low bows, and formal ceremony ; but in an eafy, 
 rivil, and refpe&ful behaviour. 
 
 1 6. Indeed, good- fenfe, in many cafes, muft determine 
 good breeding ; for what would be civil at one time, and 
 to one perfon, would be rucie at another time, and to 
 another perfon : there are, however, fome general rules 
 of good breeding. As for example: to anfwer only yes,
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C H E R*S ASSISTANT. 247 
 
 or no, to any perfon, without adding fir, my lord, or 
 madam, (as it may happen) is always extremely rude.; 
 and it is equally fo not to give proper attention, and a 
 civil anfwer, when fpcken to: fuch behaviour convinces 
 the perfon who is fpeaking to us, that we defpife him, 
 and do not think, him worthy o( our attention, or anfwer. 
 
 17. A well-bred perfon will take care to arifwer with 
 complaifance when he is fpoken to; will place himfdf 
 at the lower end of the table, unlefs bid to go higher; 
 will firft drink to the lady of the houfe, anJ then to the 
 matter ; he will not eat aukwardly or dirtily, nor fit 
 when others (land ; and he will do all this, with an 
 air of complailance, and not with a grave, ill-natured 
 look, as if he did it all unwillingly. 
 
 18. There is nothing more difficult to attain, or (b 
 neceflary to poflefs, as perfect good- breed ing ; which is 
 equally inconfiilent with a (liff formality, an impertinent 
 forwardnefs, and an aukward bafhfulnefs. A little ce- 
 remony is fometimes neceflary ; a certain degree of firm- 
 nefs is abfolutely fo ; and an outward modefty is ex- 
 tremely becoming. 
 
 19. Virtue and learning, like gold, have their intrin- 
 fic value; but if they are not polifhed, they certainly 
 lofe a great deal of their luftre : and even polillied brafs 
 will pafs upon more people than rough gold. What a 
 number of fins does the cheerful, eafy, good-breeding of 
 the French frequently cover! 
 
 My Lord Bacon fays, " that a pleafing figure is a per- 
 " petual letter of recommendation." It is certainly an 
 agreeable fore- runner of merit, and Jruoothsthe way for it. 
 
 20. A man of good-breeding fhould be acquainted 
 with the forms and particular cufto'ns of courts. At Vi- 
 enna, men always make co^nfies, inftead of bows, to 
 the Emperor; in France nobody bows to the king, or 
 
 kifles
 
 248 THE GEtfTLEMA'N AND 1 A D Y*S M N IT R, 
 
 kifles his hand ; but in Spain and England, bows are 
 made, and hands- are kiiTed. Thus eveiy court has 
 f'.r:;- peculiarity, which thofe who vifit them ought p're<- 
 vioufly to inform themlelves of, to avoid blunders and 
 dukv.ardnefTes. 
 
 21. Very lew, fcarcely any, are wanting in *he refpeft 
 which they fhouid fliew to thole whom they acknow- 
 ledge to be infinitely their fuperiors. The man of faihion > 
 and of the world, exprelTes it in its fuileft extent; but 
 naturally, eafily, and without concern : whereas a man, 
 who is not ufed to keep good company, express it 
 r,u!:-.vardly ; one. fees that he is not ufeci to it, and that it 
 cods him a great deal : but 1 never law the wortl bred 
 man living, guilty of lolling, whittling, Icratching his 
 head, and fucli like indecencies, in company that he re- 
 fpecled. In fucli companies, therefore, the only point 
 to be attended to is, to fliew that refpect, which every 
 body means to fhew, in an eafy, unemba Trailed, and 
 graceful manner.; 
 
 22. In mixed companies, whoever is admitted to make 
 part of them, is, for the time at lead, fuppofed to be 
 on a footing of equality with the reft ; and confequently, 
 every one claims, and very ju(Uy, every mark of civilitj 
 ami good- breed ing. Eafc is allowed, but careleflnels and 
 negligence are ftiicliy forbidden. If a mnn accoflsyou, 
 and talks to you ever fo dully or frivoloufly ; it is worle 
 than rudenefs, it is brutality, to fhewhiai, by a mamfeft 
 inattention to what he lays, that you think him a tool 
 or a blockhead, and not worth hearing. 
 
 23. It is much iiHi:e fo with regard to women ; who, 
 of whatever rank they are, arc iniitled, in confidcration 
 ot their fex, not only to an attentive, but an officious 
 good-breeding from .ncn. Their little wants, : 
 diflikes, prclcrences, antipathies, fancies, whims, and 
 
 even
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 249 
 
 even iropertinencies, muft be officioufly attended to, flat- 
 tered, and, if pelFible, guefTed at and anticipated, by a 
 well-bred man. You mult never ufurp to yourfelf thofe 
 conveniences and agremcns which are of common right; 
 fuch as the bed- places, the beft diflies, &c. but, on the 
 contrary, always decline them yourfelf, and offer them 
 to others ; who in their turns will offer them to you : fo 
 that, upon the whole, you will in your turn, enjoy your 
 lhare of common right. 
 
 24. "The third fort of good-breeding is local, and is 
 Varioufly modified, in not only different countries, but 
 in different towns of the fame country. But it rauft be 
 founded upon the two former forts ; they are the mat- 
 ter j to which, in this cafe, fafliion and cuftom only give 
 the different frispes and impreflions. Whoever has the 
 two firft forts, will eafily acquire the third fort of good- 
 breeding, which depends fmgly upon attention and ob- 
 fervation. It is properly the polifh, the luftre, the laft 
 fmifhing ftroke of good-breeding. A man of fenfe, 
 therefore, carefully attends to the local manners of the 
 refpe<?.ive places where he is, and takes for his models 
 thofe perfons whom he obferves to be at the head of the 
 fafhion and good-breeding. 
 
 25. He watches how they nddrefs themfelves to their 
 fuperiors, how they accoft their equals, and how they 
 treat their inferiors ; and lets none of ihofe little niceties 
 efcape him, which are to good- breeding, what the laft 
 delicate and mafterly touches ore to a good piftnre; and 
 which the vulgar have no notion of, but which in good 
 judges diftinguiih the rnafter. He attends even to their 
 air, drefs, and motions, and imitates them liberally, and 
 not fervilely ; he copies, but does not mimic. The per- 
 fonal graces are of a very great confequence. Theyan- 
 'icipate the fentiments, before merit can engage theun- 
 
 derftanding j
 
 25O THE G-ENTLEMAK AND LADY S MONITOR, 
 
 derdanding ; they captivate the heart, and give rife, I 
 believe, to the extravagant notions of charms and phil- 
 ters. Their, effects were fo furprifmg, that they were 
 reckoned fupernatural. 
 
 26. In fliort, as it is nectffary to po&rfs learning, 
 honour, and virtue to gain the efteem and admiration of 
 mankind, fo politenefs and good-breeding, are equally 
 neceffary to render us agreeable in ccnverlation and 
 common life. Great talents are above the generality of 
 the world ; who neither poiTefs them themfelvcs, nor 
 are competent judges of them in others: but all are judges 
 of the lefler talents, fuch as civility, affability, and an 
 agreeable addrefs and manner; becaufe they feel the good 
 -tffects of them, as making fociety eafy and agreeable. 
 
 27. To conclude : be allured that the profounJeft 
 learning, without good-breeding, is unwelcome and 
 tirefome pedantry ; that a man, who is not perfectly 
 well-bred, is unfit for good company, and unwelcome in 
 it j and that a man who is not well-bred is full as unfit 
 for bufinefs as for company. 
 
 Make, then, good-breeding the great object of your 
 thoughts and actions. Obferve carefully the behaviour 
 and manners of thofe who are diftinguifhed by their 
 good- breed ing ; imitate, nay, endeavour to excel, that 
 you may at lead reach them ; and be convinced that 
 good breeding is to ail worldly qualifications, what 
 charity is to all chriftian virtues. Obferve how it adorns 
 merit, and how often it covers the want of it. 
 
 GENTEEL CARRIAGE. 
 
 l.JNEXT to good-breeding is a genteel manner and 
 
 p, wholly free from thofe ill habits and auk ward 
 
 actions, which many very worthy per Ions are addicted to. 
 
 2. A
 
 'AND ENGLISH TE ACHE R'S ASSISTANT. 2jl 
 
 2. A genteel manner of behaviour, how trifling foever 
 it may feem, is of the utrnoft confequence in private life. 
 Mea.ofvery inferior parts have been efteemed, merely 
 for their genteel carriage and good-breeding, while 
 fenfible men have given difgufl. for want of it. There is 
 foinething or other that prepofleHtis us at firrt fight in fa- 
 vour of a well-bred man, and makes us wifh to like him. 
 
 3. When an aukward fellow firft comes into a room, 
 he attempts to bow, and his-iword, if he wears one, 
 gets between lii's "legs, and nearly throws him down. 
 Coniufed a-nd a'fhanied, he ftumbles to the upper end 
 of the room, ar.d feats himfelf in the very chair he fliould 
 not. He there begins playing with his hat, which he 
 prefently drops ; and recovering his hat, he lets fall his 
 cane ; and in picking up his cane, down goes hat again : 
 thus it is a confiderable time before he is adjulted. 
 
 4. When his tea or coffee is handed to him, hefpreads 
 his handkerchief upon his knees, fculds his mouth, drops 
 either the cup or the lancer, and fpills the tea or the cof- 
 fee in his lap. At dinner he is more uncommonly auk- 
 ward : there he tucks his napkin through a button hole, 
 which tickles his chin, and occafions him to make a 
 variety of wry faces ; he feats himfelf upon the edge of 
 the chair, at fo great a diftance from the table, that he 
 frequently drops his meat between his plate and his 
 mouth ; lie holds his knife, fork, and fpoon, differently 
 from other people j eats with his knife, to the manifeft 
 
 danger of his mouth ; picks his teeth with his fork, 
 rakes his mouth with his finger, and puts his fpoon which 
 has been in his throaf a dozen times into the difh again. 
 
 5. If he is to carve, he cannot hit the joint, but in 
 labouring to cut through the bone, fplallies the fauce 
 over every body's clothes. He generally daubs himfelf 
 all over, his elbows are in the next perfon's plate, and 
 
 he
 
 252 THE GENTLEMAN A N D L A D Y S M ON I T ?., 
 
 he is up to the nuckles in foup and greafe. If he drinks, 
 it is with his mouth full, interrupting the whole company 
 with " to your good health, fir," ajid " my fervice to 
 " you j" perhaps coughs in hisglafs, and befprinkles the 
 whole table. Further, he has perhaps a number of dif- 
 agreeable tricks, he fnuffs up his nofe, picks it with his 
 fingers, blows it, and looks in his handkerchief, craiiis 
 his hands firft into his bofom, and next into his breeclies. 
 
 6. In fliort, he neither drefles nor ats like any other 
 Derfon, but is particularly aukward in every thing he 
 does. All this, I own, has nothing in it criminal ; but 
 it is fuch an offence to good- manners and good-breeding, 
 that it is univerfally detpifed ; it makes a man ridiculous 
 in every company, and, of courfe, ought carefully to he 
 avoided by every one who would willi to pleale. 
 
 7. From this picture of the ill-bred man, you will 
 eafily difcover that of the well-bred ; for you may 
 readily judge what you ought to do ; a little attention 
 to the manners of thofe who have feen the world, will 
 make a proper bv^aviour habitual and familiar to you. 
 
 8. Actions, that would otherwife be pleafing, frequent- 
 ly become ridiculous by your manner of doing them. 
 If a lady drops her fan in company, the worft-.bred man 
 would immediately pick it up, and give it to her ; the 
 beft-bred man can do no more ; but then he does it in a 
 graceful manner, which is fure to plcafe, whereas the 
 other would do it fo aukwardly as to be laughed at. 
 
 9. You may alfo know a well-bred perfon by his man- 
 ner of fitting. Aflvarned and confufed, the aukward man 
 fits in his chair ttiffand bolt upright, whereas the man 
 of fafhion is ealy in every pofition ; inftead of lolling or 
 lounging as lie fits, he leans with elegance, and, by 
 varying his attitudes, ihews that he has been ufed to good 
 company. Let it be one part of your iludy then, to 
 
 learn
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHBR*S ASSISTANT. 2$3 
 
 learn to fit genteelly indifferent companies, to loll grace- 
 fully, where you are authorifed to take that liberty, and 
 to fit up refpeftfully, where that freedom is not allow- 
 able. 
 
 10. In ftiort, you cannot conceive how advantageous 
 a graceful carriage and a pleafing addrefs are, upon a!l 
 cccafions ; they enfnare the affections, fteal a preoofief- 
 fion in our favour, and play about the heart '.ill they en- 
 gage it. 
 
 Now, to acquire a graceful air, you muft attend to 
 your dancing ; no one can either fit, ftand, or walk well, 
 unlefs he dances well. And in le rning to dance, be 
 particularly attentive to the motion of your arms, for a 
 ftiffnefs in the wrift will make any man look aukwaid. 
 If a man walks well, prefents himfelf well in company, 
 weart his hat well, moves his head properly and his arms 
 gracefully, it is alniott all that is neceffjry. 
 
 i r. There is alfo an aukwardnefs in fpeecH, that na- 
 turally falls under this head, and ought to, and may be 
 guarded againft ; fuch as forgetting names, and miftak- 
 ing one name for another ; to (peak of Mr. What-d'ye- 
 cail him, or you know who, Mrs. Thingum, What's !:sr- 
 name, or How-d'e-call her, is exceedingly aukward and 
 vulgar. It is the fame to addrefs people by improper 
 titles, a* fir, for my lord ; to begin a ftory without being 
 able to finifh it, and break off in the middle, with, " I 
 have forgot the reft." 
 
 12. Your voice and manner of fpeaking too, fliouIJ 
 likewife be attended to. Some will mumble over their 
 words, fo as not to be intelligible, and others will fpeak fo 
 faft as not to be underftood, and, in doing this, wi!! fputter 
 and fpit in your face ; fome will ba I as if they were 
 fpeaking to the deaf; others will fpeak fo lo v as fcarce- 
 ly to be heard ; and many will put their face fo 
 z Clofc
 
 2 5 4 THE GENTLEMAN AND L A D Y *3 MONITOR, 
 
 clofe to yours as to offend you with iheir breath. 
 13. All thefe habits are horrid and difguftful, but may 
 eafily be got the better of with care. They are the vul- 
 gar characteristics of a low-bred man, or are proofs 
 that very little pains have been beflowed in his education. 
 In fhort, an attention to thefe little matters are of great- 
 er impoTtar.ce th.in you arc aware of; many a fenfible 
 man having loll ground for want of thefe little graces, 
 and many a one 1 , poflefled of thefe perfections alone, 
 having made his way through life, that otherwife would 
 not have been noticed. 
 
 CLEANLINESS OF PERSON. 
 
 14 JjL'T, as no one can pleafe in the company, how- 
 ever graceful his air, unlefs he be clean and neat in his 
 pcrfon, this qualification comes next to be confidered. 
 
 15. Negligence of one's perfon not only implies an 
 unfufferable indolence, but an indifference whether we 
 pleafe or not. In others it betrays an infolence and af- 
 feclalion, arifing from a prefumption that they are fure 
 of p'eafmg without having rtcourte to thofe means which 
 niar;y are obliged to ufe. 
 
 16. He who is not thoroughly clean in his perfon, will 
 beoffenfive to all he converts with. A particular re- 
 gard to the cleanlinefs of your irotiih, letth, hands, and 
 rails, is but common decency. A toul mouth, and un- 
 clean hands, are certain marks of vulgarity ; the firii is 
 thecaufe of an offenfive bteath, which nobody can bear, 
 and the latl is declarative of uirty work j oat luay al- 
 ways know a gentleman by the Hate of his hands and 
 nails. The flefh su the roots fliould Le kept back, fo 
 as to flicw the femicircles at the boitoia ol ih,
 
 AND EX GUSH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 255 
 
 the edges of the nails fliould never be cut down below 
 the ends of the fingers, nor ftiould they be fuffered to 
 grpw longer than the fingers. 
 
 17, When the nails are cut down to the quick, it is 
 a fhrewd fign that the man is a mechanic, to whom long 
 . nails would be troublefome, or that he gets his bread by 
 fiddling ; and if they are longer than his finger-ends, 
 and encircled with a black rim, it foretells he has been 
 laborioully and meanly employed, and too fatigued to 
 clean himfelf ; a good apology for want of cleanlinefs in 
 a mechanic, bul the greateft difgrace that can attend a 
 gentleman. 
 
 1 8. Thefe things may appear too yifigniikunt to be 
 mentioned ; but when it is confidered that a thcufand 
 little namelefs things, which every one feels but no one 
 can defchbe, confpire to form that 'whole of pleafing, I 
 hope you will not call them trifling. Befides, a clean 
 ihirt and a clean perfon are asneceflary to health, as not 
 to offend other people. It is a maxim with me, which 
 1 have l^ved to fee verified, that he who is negligent at 
 twenty years of age, will be a floven at forty, and in- 
 tolerable at fifty. 
 
 DRESS. 
 
 19. NEATNESS of perfon, I obferved, was as ne- 
 ceflary as cleanlinefs; of courfe, fome attention muftbe 
 paid to your drefs. 
 
 Such is the abfurdity of the times, that to pals well 
 with the world, we muft adopt fome of its cuftoms, be 
 they ridiculous or not. 
 
 20. In the fii ft place to neglect one's drefs is to affront 
 
 all the female part of our acquaintance. The women 
 
 in particular pay an attention to their drefs ; to negled 
 
 z z there-
 
 256 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 therefore yours will difpleafe them, as it would be tacit- 
 ly taxing them with vanity, and declaring that you 
 thought them not woith that refpect which every body 
 e!fe does. And, as I have mentioned before, as it is the 
 women who ftamp a young man's credit in the fafliion- 
 able world, if you do not make yourfelf agreeable to the 
 women, you will affutedly lofe ground among the men. 
 
 21. Drefs, as trifling as it may appear to a man of 
 underftanding, prepoffefies on the firft appearance, which 
 is frequently decifive. And indeed v e may form fome 
 opinion of a man's lenfe and character from his drefs. 
 Any exceeding of the fafhion, or any affectation in drefs 
 whatever, argues a v/eaknefs of underftanding, and nine 
 times out of ten, it will be found fo. 
 
 22. There are few young fellows but what difplay 
 fome character or other in this fti^pe. Some would be 
 thought fearlefs and brave } thefe wear a black cravat, 
 a fhort coat and waiftcoat, an uncommon long fword 
 hanging to their knees, a large hat fiercely cocked, ard 
 are fajb all over. Otheis affect to be country 'fquires ; 
 thefe will go about in buckfkin breeches, brown frocks, 
 and great oaken cudgels in their hands, floutched hats, 
 v/nh their hair undrefled, and tucked up behind them to 
 an enormous fize, and imitate grooms and country boo- 
 bies fo well externally, that there is not the leaft doubt 
 of their refembling them as well internally. 
 
 23. Others again, paint and powder themfelves fb 
 much, and drefs fo finically, as leads us to fuppofe they 
 are orly women in boys' cloaths. Now a fenfible man 
 carefully avoids all this, or any other affectation. He 
 dreflesasfafhionably and well asperfonsof ihe beft fami- 
 lies and beft fenfe ; if he exceeds them, he is a coxcomb j 
 if he drefles worfe, he is unpardonable. 
 
 24. Drefs
 
 AN'D ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 2$7 
 
 . 24. Drefs ycurfelf fine then, if poflible, or plain^ a- 
 greeable to the company you are in ; that is, conform 
 to the tirefs of others and avoid the appearance of being 
 tumbled. Imitate thofe reafonable people of your own 
 age, whofe drefs is neither remarked rts too- neglected or 
 too much ftudied. Take care to have your cloaths well 
 made, in the failiion, and to fit you, or you will, after 
 all, appear aukward. When once dreffed, think no 
 more of it j fliew no fear of difcompofmg your drefs, 
 but let all your motions be as ealy and unembai railed, 
 as if you were at home in your dilhabilie. 
 
 ELEGANCE OF EXPRESSION. 
 
 25. M.AVING mentioned ele,gance of perfon, I will 
 proceed to elegance of exprelfion. 
 . It is not one or two qualifications alone that will com- 
 plete the gentleman ; it niuft be an union cf many ; and 
 graceful fpeaking is as efleniial as gracefulnefs of per- 
 lon. Every man cannot be an harmonious fpeaker j a 
 roughnefs or coarfenefs of voice may prevent it; but if 
 there are no natural imperfections, if a man does not 
 Hammer or lifp, or has not left his teeth, he inay fpeak 
 gracefully; nor will all thefe defects, if he has a mind 
 to it, prevent him from fpeaking corrc&ly. 
 
 26 Nobody can attend with pleafure to a bad fpeaL- 
 er. "One who tells his ftory ill, belt ever fo impottant, 
 will tire even the mod patient. If you have been pre- 
 fent at the performance of a good tragedy, you have 
 doubtlels been fenfible of the good effefts of a Ipeech 
 well delivered ; how much it has interefted nd affected 
 you^ and ^n the contrary, how much an ill-fpoken one 
 hasdilgufted you. 
 
 27. It is the fame in common convcrfaiittn ; he who 
 z 3 fpeak* -
 
 258 THE GENTLEMAN AN D 1 A D Y*S M ON I T O R, 
 
 fpeaks deliberately, diflinftly, and correctly ; he who 
 makes ufe of the beft words to exprefs himfelf, and va- 
 ries his voice according to the nature of the fuhject, will 
 always pleafe, while the thick or hafly fpeaker, he who 
 mumbles out a fet of ill-chofen words, utters them in- 
 grammatically, or with a dull monotony, will tire and 
 difguft. Be aflured then, the air, the getture, the looks 
 of a fpeaker, a proper accent, a juft emphafis and tune- 
 ful cadence, are full as neceflary to pleafe and to be at- - 
 tended to, as the fubjeft matter itfelf. 
 
 28. People may talk what they will of folid reafoning 
 and found fenfe ; without t;.e graces am* ornaments of 
 language, they will neither pleafe nor perfuade. In com- 
 mon difcourfe, even trifles elegantly exprefled will be 
 better received than the beft of arguments, home-fpun, 
 and unadorned. 
 
 29. A good way to acquire a graceful utterance, is 
 to read aloud to foine friend, every day, and beg of him 
 to fet you right, in cafe you read too faft, do not oblerve 
 the proper flops, lay wrong emphafis, or utter your 
 words inoiftinftly. You may even read aloud to your- 
 felf, where fuch a friend is not at hand, and you will 
 find your own ear a good corrector. Take care to o- 
 pen your teeth when you read or fpeak, and articulate 
 every word diftinftiy ; which laft cannot be done, but 
 by founding the final letter But above all, endeavour 
 to vary your voice, according to the matter, and avoid 
 a monotony. By a daily attention to this, it will in a 
 little time become ealy and habitual to you. 
 
 50. Pay an attention alfo to your looks and yourgef- 
 ture, when talking even on the mult trifling fubjefts ; 
 things appear very different according as they are expref- 
 fed, looked and delivered. 
 
 Now,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHfER's ASSISTANT. 259 
 
 Now. if it is necefla'y to attend fo particularly to 
 our manner of fpeaking. it is much more fo, with refpedl 
 to the matter. Fine turns of expreffion, a genteel and 
 correct ftyie, are ornaments as requifite tocommon fenfe, 
 as polite behaviour and an elegant addrefs are to com- ' 
 nion good manners ; they are great afllftantsin the point 
 of pleafmg. A gentleman it is true, may be known in 
 the meaneft garb, but it admits not of a doubt, that he 
 would be better received into good company genteelly 
 and faihionably dreft, than was he to appear in dirt 
 and tatters. 
 
 31. Be careful then of your ftyle upon all occafions ; 
 whether you write or fpeak, ftudy for the beft words 
 and bed expiefiions, even in common converfation, or 
 the nioft familiar letteis. This will prevent your-fpeak- 
 ing in a hurry, than which nothing is more vulgar ; 
 though you may be a little embarrafled at firft, time 
 and ufe will render it eaiy. It is no luch difficult thing 
 toexprefs ourfelves well on fubjecls we are thoroughly 
 acquainted with, if we think before we fpeak } and no 
 one fliould prefume to dootherwife. 
 
 32. When you have faid a tiling, if you did not re- 
 flect before, be lure to do it afterwards; confider with 
 yourfclf, whether you could not have exprefled yourfelf 
 better ; and if you are in doubt of the propriety or ele- 
 gancy of any word, fearch for it in fonie dictionary, or 
 fome good author, while you remember it, never be fpar- 
 ing of your trouble while you wifli to improve, and my 
 word for it, a very little time will make this matter ha- 
 bitual. 
 
 33. In order to fpeak grammatically, and toexprefs 
 yourfelf pteafingly, 1 would recommend it to you to 
 tranflnte often any language you are acquainted with in- 
 to Enghfli, and to cornel fuch tranflation til! the words, 
 their order, and the periods are agreeable to your own ear. 
 
 . Vuloarifm
 
 26O THE GENTLEMAN AMD LADY?5 MONIT.QR, 
 
 Vulgarifu) i" language is another difiJngui tying mark 
 of bad company and education. Ex-pi eiliens may be 
 correct in themielves, and yet be vulgar, owing to their 
 not being failiior.able ; ibr language, as manners, are 
 both eitabliihed for the ufagc of people of failncn. 
 
 34. The converfation of a low-bred manjs filled up 
 with proverbs and hackney td fay ings. Inftead of ob- 
 fervin^ that taftes are different, and that moil men have 
 one peculiar to theuifelves., he will give you " What is 
 " one man's meat, is another man's poifcn j" or " Every 
 " one to their liking, as the old woman laid when ihe 
 " kiffed her cow." He has ever feme favourite word, 
 which he lugs in upon all occafions, tight or wrong ; 
 fuch as vajlly angry., <vaffy kiudi <k<vilijb ugly, <i*vilijb 
 hardfome ; tamtiije/y grtat, inimenfdy liltle. 
 
 35. Even his pronunciation carries the mark of vulga- 
 rity along with it ; he caiis the earth, yearth, finan'ces, 
 
 Jin' fiances; he goes to vifprtlt, and not towards fuch a 
 place. He afFecls to ulc hard words, to give him the 
 appearance of a man of learning, but frequently miftakes 
 their meaning, and feldoni, if ever, pronounces them pro- 
 perly. 
 
 All this muftbe avoided, if you would not be fuppof- 
 ed to have kept company with footmen and houfemaids. 
 Never have recourle to proverbial or vulgar flyings; 
 ufe neither favourite nor hard words, but leek for the 
 mod elegant: be careful in the management of them, 
 and depend on it your labour will not be loft; tor nothing 
 is more engaging than a fafhionable and polite addrels. 
 
 I: 
 
 SMALL TALK. 
 
 IN all good company, we meet with a certain man- 
 ner, phrafeology and general converfatiou, that dii'tin- 
 
 guifhes
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'l ASSISTANT. 261 
 
 guifhes the man of fafhi on. This can only be acquired 
 by frequenting good company, and being particularly 
 attentive to all that paffes there. 
 
 37. When invited to dine or fup at the houfe of any 
 well-bred man, cbftrve how he docs the honours of his, 
 table, and mark his manner of treating his company. 
 
 Attend to the compliments of congratulation or con- 
 dolence that he pays; and take notice ofhisaddrefs to 
 his fuperiors, his equals, and his inferiors: nay, his very 
 looks and tone of voice are worth your attention, for 
 we cannot pleafe without an union of them all. 
 
 38. There is a certain diflinguifhing diction that 
 marks the man of fafhion, a certain language of conver- 
 fation that every gentleman fhould be mafter of. Say- 
 ing to a man jutl married, " I wifh )ou joy,*' or to one 
 who has loft his wife, " I am forry for yuur lofs," and 
 both perhaps with an unmeaning countenance, may be 
 civil, but is neverthelefs vulgar. A man of fafhion will 
 exprels the fame thing more elegantly, and with a look 
 of fincerity, that (hall attract the etteem of the perfon he 
 fpeaks to. He will advance to the one, with warmth 
 and chearfulnels, and perhaps fqueezing him by the 
 hand, will fay, " Believe me, my dear fir, I have fcarce 
 words to exprefs the joy 1 feel, upon your happy alli- 
 ance with fuch or fuch a family, &c." To the other in 
 affliction he will advance flower, and with a peculiar 
 compofure of voice and countenance, begin his compli- 
 ments of condolence with, " I hope, fir, yuii will do me 
 the juftice to be perfuadtd, that I am not infenfible of 
 your unhappinefs, that 1 take part in your diftrefs, and 
 ihall ever be affected where you are fo." 
 
 39. Your firft addiefs to, and indeed all your conver- 
 fation with, your fupeiiors, fliould be open, chearful, 
 
 and
 
 262 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADv's MONITOR, 
 
 and refpeftful ; with your equals, warm and animated ; 
 with your inferiors, hearty, free, and unreferved. 
 40. There is a fafhionab'.e kind of fmall talk, which, 
 however trifling it may be thought, has its ufe in mixed 
 companies;; ofcourfe you fliould endeavour to acquire 
 it. By fmall talk, I mean a good deal to fay on unim- 
 portant matters: for example, foods, the flavour and 
 growth of wines and the chit-chat of the day. Such con- 
 verfation will ferve to keep off ferious fubje&s, that 
 might fometimes create disputes. This chit-ch.-.t is chief- 
 ly fo be learned by frequenting the company pf the ladies. 
 
 OBSERVATION 7 . 
 
 1.A.S the art of pieafing is to be learnt only by fre- 
 quenting the bed companies, we mud endeavour to 
 pick it up in fuch companies, by obfervation ; for, it is 
 not fenfe and knowledge alone that will acquire efteem ; 
 tbefc certainly are the firft, and neceflary foundations 
 for pieafing, but they will by no means do, unlefs at- 
 tended with manners ard attentions. 
 
 There have been people who have frequented the 
 firft companies all their life-time, and yet have never got 
 rid of their natural fliffhefs and aukwardnefs ; but have 
 continued as vulgar as if they were never out of a fer- 
 vanl's hall: this has been owing to careleflnefs, and a 
 want of attention to the manners and behaviour of others. 
 
 2. There are a great many people likewife who bufy 
 themfelves the whole day, and who in fact do nothing. 
 They have poflibly taken up a book for two or three hours, 
 but from a certain inattention that grows upon them the 
 more it is indulged, know no mere of the contents than 
 if they had not looked into it; nay, it is impofiible for 
 any one to retain vhat he reads, unlcfs he reflefts and 
 
 reafon^
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACH ER*S ASSISTANT. 263 
 
 reafons upon it as he goes on. When they have thus 
 lounged away an hour or two, they will faunter into 
 company, without attending to any thing that, pp. fibs 
 there ; but, if they think at all, are thinking of loaic 
 trifling matter that ought not to occupy their attention ; 
 thence perhaps they go to the play, where they ftare at 
 the company and the lights, without attending to the 
 piece, the very thing they went to fee. 
 
 3. In this manner they wear away their hours, that 
 might otherwife be employed to their improvement and 
 advantage. This filly fufpenfion of thought they would 
 have pafs for abfence of mind Ridiculous ! Wherever 
 you are, let me recommend it to you to pay an attention 
 to all that pafTes ; obferve the characters of the perfons 
 you are with, and the fubje&s of their conversion j 
 liften to every thing that is laid, fee every thing that is 
 done, and (according to the vulgar laying) have your 
 eyes and your ears about you. 
 
 4. A continual inattention to matters that occur is the 
 characleriftic of a weak mind ; the man who gives way 
 to it, is little elfe than a trifler, a blank in fociety, which 
 every fenfible perfon v overlooks ; furely what is worth 
 doing, is worth doing well, and nothing can be well done, 
 if net properly attended to. When I hear a man fay, 
 en being afked about any thing that was faid or. done in. 
 his prefence, " that truly he did not mind it," I am 
 ready to knock the fool down. U'l.y did he not mind 
 it ? What had he elfe to do ? A man of fenfe and fa- 
 fKion never makes ufe of this paltry plea, he never com- 
 plains of a treacherous memory, but attends to and re- 
 members every thing that is either faid or done. 
 
 5. Whenever, then, you go into good company, that 
 is the company of people of fafli ion, obfeive careful!/ 
 their beluviour, their addrefs, and their manner; imitate
 
 it as far as in your power. Your attention, if poflible, 
 Should be lo ready as to oblerve every pcrf^n in the 
 room at once, their motions, their looks, ami iruir turns 
 of expreffion, and that without daring 01 Deeming to be 
 an obferver. This kind of obfervation may be acquired 
 by care and practice, ?nd will be found ot the utmoft 
 advantage to you, in the ccurfe of life. 
 
 ABSENCE OF MIND. 
 
 i. H WING mentioned abfence of mind, let me be 
 more particular concerning it. 
 
 What the world calls an abfent man, is generally 
 either a very affeded ene, or a very weak one ; but 
 whether weak or affefted, he is, in comp.my, a very diC- 
 agreeible man. Loll in thought, or pofnViy in no thought 
 at all, he is a ftranger to every one prefent, and to every 
 thing that pafles ; he knows not his beft friends, is defi- 
 cient in every aft of good manners, unobfervant of the 
 actions of the company, and infenfible to his own. 
 
 2. His anfwers are quite the reverfe of what they 
 ought to be ; talk to him of one thing, he replies as of 
 another. He forgets what he faid Lift, leaves his hat in 
 one room, his cane in another, and his fword in a third ; 
 nay, if it was not for his buckles, he would even leave 
 his (hoes behind him. Neither his arms nor his legs feem 
 to be a port of his body, and his head is never in a right 
 petition. He joins not in the general convcrfaticn, ex- 
 cept it be by fits and (tarts, as if awaking from a dreatn : 
 I attribute this either to wetknefs or i.rTectation. 
 
 3. His (hallow mind is poflibly not able to attend to 
 more than one thing at a time ; or he would be fuppofed 
 wrapt up in the inveftigation of fome very important 
 
 matter.
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 265 
 
 matter. Such men as Sir Ifaac Newton or Mr. Locke 
 might occafionally have fome excufe forabfenceof mind ; 
 it might proceed from that intenfenefs of thought that 
 was necetfary at all times for the fcientific fubjefts they 
 were ftudying j but, for a young man, and a man of the 
 world, who has nofuch plea to make, abfence of mind is 
 a rudenefs to the company, and deferves the fevered 
 cenfure. 
 
 4 However ir.fignificant a company may be ; how- 
 ever trifling their convention j while you are with them, 
 do not mew them, by any inattention, that you think 
 them trifling ; that can never be the way to pleaie, but 
 rather fall in with their weaknefs than otherwife, for to 
 mortify, or fhew the leaft contempt to thofe we are in 
 company with, is the gieateft rudenefs we can be guilty 
 of, and what few can forgive. 
 
 5. I never yet found a man inattentive to the perfon 
 he feared, or the woman he loved; which convinces me 
 that abfence of mind is to be got the better of, if we 
 think proper to make the trial ; and believe me, it is al- 
 ways worth the attempt. 
 
 Abfence of mind is a tacit declaration that thofe we 
 are in company with are not worth attending to ; and 
 what can be a greater affront ? Befides, can an abfenc 
 man improve by what is faid or done in his prefence? 
 No ; he may frequent the bed companies for years to- 
 gether, and all to no purpofe. In fliort, a man is nei- 
 ther fit forbufinefs nor converfation, unlefshe can atterul 
 to the object before him, be that object what it will. 
 
 KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD, 
 f. A KNOWLEDGE of the world, by our own ex- 
 perience and obfervation, is fo neceflary, that without 
 A a it,
 
 $6 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADYs MONITOR, 
 
 it, we fliall act very abfurdly, and frequently give of- 
 fence, when we do not mean it. Ail the learning and 
 parts in the world will not fecure us from it. Without 
 an acquaintance with life, a man may fay very good 
 things, but time them fo ill, and addrefs them fo impro- 
 perly, that he had much better be filent. Full of him- 
 felf and his ownbtifinefs, and inattentive to the circum- 
 ftances and fituations of thofe heconverfes with, he vents 
 it without the leaft difcretion, fays things that he ought 
 not to fay, confufes fome, fliocks others, and puts the 
 \vholecompany in pain, left what he utters next mould 
 prove worfe than the laft. The beft direction 1 can give 
 you in this matter, is rather to fall in with the conver- 
 fation of others, than ftart a fubject of your own ; ra- 
 ther ftrive to put them more in conceit with themfelves, 
 than to draw their attention to you. 
 
 2. A novice in life, he who knows little of mankind, 
 but what he collects from books, la>s it down as a max- 
 im, that moft men love flattery ; in order therefore to 
 pleafe, he will flatter: but how? Without regard ei- 
 ther to circumftances or occafion. Inftead of thofe de- 
 licate touches, thofe foft tints, that Itrve to heighten 
 the piece, he lays on his colours with a heavy hand, and 
 daubs where he means to adorn ; in other words, he 
 v/i!l fluter fo unfcafonably, and at the fame time fo ;.rofs- 
 ly, t'liat while he wifltes to pleale, he puts out of coun- 
 tenance, and isfure to offVnii. On the contr.iy, a man 
 of the world, one who has made life hisftudy, knows 
 the power of flattery as well as he ; but then, he knows 
 how to fcpply it j he watches the opportunity, and does 
 it indireclly, by inference, comparifon and hint. 
 
 3. Man is nude up of fuch a variety of matter, that, 
 to fearch him thoioughly, requires time and atiention ; 
 for, though we are all made of the feme materials, and 
 
 have
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 267 
 
 have all the fame pafllons, yet, from a difference their 
 proportion and combination, we vary in our difpofitions ; 
 what iagreeab!e to one is difagreeable to another, and * 
 what one fliall approve, another iliall condemn. Rea- 
 fon is given us to controul thefe paflions, but feldom does 
 it. Application therefore to the reafon of any man, will 
 frequently prove ineffectual, unlefs we endeavour at the 
 fame time to gain his heart. 
 
 4 Wherever then you are, fearch into the characters 
 of men ; find out, if pofiible, their foible, their govern- 
 ing paflion, or their particular nieri? ; take them oiv their 
 weak fide, and you will generally fucceed ; their pre~ ' 
 vailing vanity you may readily difcover, by obferving 
 their favourite topic of converfation, for every one talks 
 molt, of what he would be thought moft to excel in. 
 
 5. The time fliould alfo be judicioufly made choice 
 of. Every man has his particular times when he may be 
 applied to with fuccefs, the mullia tempora fandi: but 
 thefe times are not all day long ; they inuft be found out, 
 watched, and taken advantage of. You could not hope 
 for fuccefs in applying to a man about one bufinefs, when, 
 he was taken up with another, or when his mind was af- 
 fedted with excefs of grief, anger, or the like. 
 
 6. You cannot judge of other men's minds better than 
 by ftudying your own ; for though fome men have one 
 foible, and another has another, yet men in general, are 
 very much alike. Whatever pleafes or offends you, , 
 will in fimilar circumltances, pleafe or offend others? it* 
 you find yourfelf hurt when another makes you feel his 
 fuperiority, you will certainly, upon the common rule of 
 right, do as you 'would be done by^ take care not to let a- 
 nother feel your fuperiority, if you have it ; efpecially it' 
 you wifli to gain his intereft or efteem. 
 
 A a 2 7. If
 
 a68 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADv's MONITOR, 
 
 7. If difagreeable infir.uations, open contradictions, cr 
 oblique fneers vex and anger you, would you ufe them 
 where you wifiied to pkafe ? Certainly not. Obferve 
 then, with care, the operations of your own mind, and 
 you may, in a great meafure, read all mankind. 
 
 I will allow that one bred up in a cloifter or college, 
 way reafon well on the ftructure of the human mind j he 
 rr;ay inveftigate the nature of man, and give a tollerable 
 ncccunt of his head, his heart j his pafiions, and his fen- 
 timents ; but at the fame time he may know nothing cf 
 Jbiiji ; he has not lived with kirn, and of courfe can know 
 but little how thofe fentiments or thcfe paffions will work j 
 lie mutt be ignorant of the various prejudices, propenfi- 
 ties and antipathies that always bias him and frequently 
 determine him. 
 
 8. His knowledge is acquired only from theory, which 
 differs widely from practice j and if he forms his judg- 
 ment from that alone, he mull be often deceived j where- 
 as a man of the world, one who collects his knowledge 
 from his own experience and obfervation, is feldom 
 wrong; he is well acquainted with the operations of the 
 human mind, pries into the heart of man; reads nis wortis 
 before they are uttered ; fees his actions before they are 
 perfcimeci; knows \\-at will pleafe, and what will ilif- 
 pltafe, and forefees the event of moft things. 
 
 9. Labour then to acquire this intuitive knowledge ; 
 attend carefully to the addrefs, tl:e arts and manners of 
 t.' .'.c acquainted with life, and endeavour to imitate them. 
 Obferve the means they take, to gain the favourand con- 
 ciliate the affections of thofe they affociate with ; purfue 
 ihofe means, and you vill foon gain the eileem of all 
 that know >ou. 
 
 How often have we feen men governed by perfons rery 
 much their inferiors in point of undemanding, and eren 
 
 without
 
 AND EN S-LISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT." 269 
 
 without their knowing it ? A proof that fome men have 
 more world) dexterity than others ; they find out the weak 
 and unguarded part, make their attack there, and the 
 man furrenders. 
 
 10. Now from a knowledge of mankind vie fliall 
 learn the advantage of two things, the command ot our 
 temper and our countenance ; a trifling, difagreeable 
 incident (hall perhaps anger one unacquainted with life, 
 or confound him with fliame : fliall nuke him rave like a 
 madman, or look like a fool ; but a man of the world, 
 will never underftand what he cannot nor ought not 
 to refent. If he fliould chance to make a flip hiaifelf, 
 he will ftifle his confulion, and turn it off with a jell ; 
 recovering it with coolnefs. 
 
 1 1 . Many people have fenfe enough to keep their own 
 fecrcts; but from being unufed to a variety of company, 
 have unfortunately fuch a tell-tale countenance, as invo- 
 luntarily declares what they would wifli to conceal. 
 This is a great unhappinefs, and fliould, as foon as po4- 
 fible, be got the bettet of. 
 
 That coolnefs of mind and evennefs of countenance, 
 which prevents a difcovery of our fentiments, by our 
 wurds, our actions, or our looks, is too neceflary to pafs 
 unnoticed. 
 
 12. A man who cannot hear difpleafing things, with- 
 out vilible mark$ of anger or uneafmefs; or pleafing 
 ones, without a fudden burft of joy, a chearful eye, or 
 an expanded face, is at the mercy of every knave ; for 
 either they will defignedly pleafe or provoke you them- 
 felves, to catch your unguarded looks ; or thev will fciz/e 
 the opportunity thus to read your very heart, when any 
 other fliall do it. You may polhbly tell me, that this 
 coolnefs muft be natural, for if not, you can never ac- 
 quire it. 
 
 A i I. I i
 
 27O THE GENTLEMAN AND LADTS MONITOR^ 
 
 13. I will admit the force of conftitution, but people 
 are very apt to blame that for many things they might 
 leadily avoid. Care, with a little reflexion, will foon 
 give you this maftery of your temper and your counte- 
 nance. If you find yourfelf fu'ojeft to fudden (tarts of 
 paffion, determine with yourfelf not to utter a fmgle word 
 till your reafon has recovered itfelf ; and refolv? to keep 
 your countenance as unmoved as poffible. 
 
 14. As a man, who at a card-table, can preferve a fe- 
 renity in his looks, under good or bad luck, has confider- 
 abiy the advantage of one who appears elated with fuc- 
 cefs, cr caft down with ill fortune, from our being able 
 to read his cards in his face ; fo the man of the world, 
 having to deal with one of thefe babbling countenances, 
 will take care to profit by the circumftance, let the con- 
 fcquence, to him with whom he deals, be as injurious as 
 it may. 
 
 15. In the courfe of life, we fliall find it necefTary ve- 
 ry often to put on a plcafing countenance when we are 
 exceedingly difpleafed j we muft frequently feem friend- 
 ly when we are quite otherwife. I am fenfible it is dif- 
 ficult to accoft a man with fmiles whom we know to be 
 our enemy j but what is to be done ? On receiving an 
 affront, if you cannot be juftified in knocking the offend- 
 er down, you muft not notice the offence ; for, in the 
 eye of the world, taking an affront camly is confidered 
 as cowardice. 
 
 1 6. If /ools iliould attempt at any time to be witty 
 upon you, the bed way is not to know their witticifius 
 are levelled at you, but to conceal any uneafmefs it may 
 give you ; but, fhould they be fo plain that you cannot 
 be thought ignorant of their meaning, I would recom- 
 mend, rather than quarrel with the company, joining 
 even in the laugh againft yourfelf; allow the jeft to be 
 
 a good
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. 271 
 
 a good one, and take it in feeming good humour. Never 
 attempt to retaliate the fame way, as that would imply 
 you were hurt. Should what is faicl wound your honour 
 or your moral character, there is but one proper reply, 
 which I hope you will never be obliged to have re- 
 courfe to. 
 
 17. Remember there are but two alternatives for a 
 gentleman; extreme politenefs, or the fword. If a man. 
 openly and dtfignedly affronts you, call him out; but, 
 if it does not amount to an open infult, be outwardly 
 civil ; if this does riot make him afhamed of his beha- 
 viour, it will prejudice every by-ftander in your favour, 
 and inftead of being difgraced, you will come off with 
 honour. Politenefs to thofe we do not refpeft, is no 
 more a breech of faith, than your bumble fe want at the 
 bottom of a challenge: they are univerfally underftood 
 to be things of courfe. 
 
 1 8. Wrangling and quarrelling are charafteriftic of a 
 weak mind; leave that to the women, be you always 
 above it. Enter into no fliarp conteft, and pride your- 
 felf in fliewing, if poflible, more civility to your anta- 
 gonift than to any other in the company ; this will in- 
 fallibly bring over all the laughers to your ftde, and 
 the perfon you are contending with will be very likely 
 to confefs you have behaved very handfomely through- 
 out the whole affair. 
 
 19. Experience will teach us, that though all men 
 confift principally of the fame materials as I before 
 took notice of, yet from a difference in their proportion, 
 no two men are tiniformly the fame : we differ from one 
 another, and we often differ from ourfelves, that is, we 
 fometimes do things utterly inconfiftent with the gene- 
 ra! tenor of our characters The wifeft man will oc- 
 cafionaHy do a weak thing ; the moft honeft man, a 
 
 wrong
 
 372 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 wrong thing; the proudeft man, a mean thing; nnd 
 the wortt of men will fomctimes do a good thing. 
 
 20. On this account, our ftucly of mankind fhould 
 not be general ; we fhould take a frequent view of in- 
 dividuals, and though we may upon -the whole form a 
 
 i judgment of the man from his prevailing paffton or his 
 general character, yet it will be prudent not to deter- 
 mine, till v/e have waited to fee the operations of hi* 
 fubordinate appetites and humours. 
 
 21. For example ; a man's general character may be 
 that of ftriftly honed; I would not difpute it, btcaufe, 
 I would not be thought envious or malevolent ; but I 
 would not rely upon this- general charaft<.r, fo as to en* 
 truft him with my fortune or my life. Should this ho- 
 nelt man, as is not uncommon, be my rival in power, 
 intereft, or love, he may poflibly do things that in other 
 circuir.ftances he would abhor ; and power, interefb, 
 and love, let me tell you, will often put honefty to the 
 fevereft trial, and frequently overpower it. I would 
 then ranfack this honeft man to the bottom, if I wifhed 
 to truft hint, and as I found him, would place- my con- 
 fidence accordingly. 
 
 22. One of the great compofrtions in our nature is 
 Vanity, to which all men, more or lefs, give way. Women 
 have an intolerable fhare of it. No flattery, no adula- 
 tion is too grofs for them: thofe who flatter them moft 
 pleafe them bell, and they are molt in love with him 
 who pretends to be moft in love with them : and the 
 leaft flight or contempt of them is never forgotten. It 
 is in fome meafure the fame with men ; they will fooner 
 pardon an injury than an infulr, and are more hurt by 
 
 * contempt than by ill ufage. Though all men do not boaft 
 of fuperior ulents, though they p'retend not to the abili- 
 ties of a Pope, a Newton, or a Eolmgbroke, every one 
 
 pretends
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 273 
 
 pretends to have common fenfe, and to difcharge his 
 office in life with common decency ; to arraign there- 
 fore, in any fhape, his abilities or integrity in the de- 
 partment he holds, is an infult he will not readily forgive. 
 
 23. As I would -not have you truft too implicitly to 
 a man, bccaufe the world gives rn'tii a good character ; 
 fo I muft particularly caution you againft. thofe whofpeak 
 well of themfelves. In general, fufpedt thofe whoboaft 
 of, or a'Fec~l to have any one virtue above all others, for 
 they are commonly impoftors. There are, exceptions, 
 however to this rule, for \ve hear of prudes that have 
 been chatte, bullies that have been brave, and faints that 
 have been religious. Confide only where your own ob- 
 lervation (hall direct you ; obferve not only what is laid, 
 but how it is faid, and if you have any penetration, you 
 may find out the truth better by your eyes than your 
 ears; in fliort, never take a character upon common re- 
 port, but enquire into it yourfelf; for common report, 
 though it is right in general, may be wrong in particulars. 
 
 24. Beware of thofe who on a flight acquaintance, 
 make you a tender of their friendfliip, and feem to place 
 a confidence in you ; it is ten to one but they deceive 
 and betray you; however do not rudely rejett them 
 upon fuch a fuppofition ; you may be civil to them, 
 though you do not entruft them. Silly men are apt to 
 folicit your fiiendfliip and unbofom themfelves upon 
 their full acquaintance ; fuch fiiends cannot be worth 
 hearing, their fiiendfliip being as (lender as their under- 
 ftanding ; and if they proffer their friend fliip with a de- 
 fign to make a property of you, they are dangerous ac- 
 quaintance indeed. 
 
 25. Not but the little friendmips of the weak may be 
 of fome ufe to you, if you co not return the compli- 
 ment ; and it may not be amifs to feem to accept thofe 
 
 of
 
 274 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ofdefigning men, keep : ng them, as it were, in play, 
 that they mnv not be openly you r enemies for their 
 enmity is the next dangerous thing to their friem-.ftiip. 
 We may certainly hold their vices in abhorrence, with- 
 out being marked oat as their perfonal enemy. The 
 general rule is to have a real referve with aliuoft every 
 one, and- a feeming referve with almoft no one ; for it 
 is very difgufting to feem refervcd, and very dangerous 
 not to be fo. Few obferve the true medium. Many 
 are ridiculoufly myftericus upon trifles, and many indif- 
 creetly communicative of aU they know. 
 
 26. There is a kind of fliort-Hved friendiTiip that 
 takes place among young men, from a connexion in 
 their pleafures only ; a friend/hip too often attended 
 with bad confequences. This companion of your plea- 
 fures, young and unexperienced, will probably in the 
 heat of convivial mirth, vow a perpetual friend iliip, and 
 unfold himfelf to you without the ieaft referve ; but new 
 aflbciations, change of fortune, or change of place, may 
 foon break this ill-timed connection, and an improper 
 ufe may be made of it. 
 
 27. Be one, if you will, in young companies, and bear 
 your part like others in the focial foilivity of youth ; nay, 
 truft them with your innocent frolics, but keep your 
 ferious matters to yourfelf ; and if you muft at any 
 time make them known, let it be to fome tried friend of 
 great experience ; and that nothing may tempt him to 
 become your rival, let that friend be in a different walk 
 of life from yourfelf. 
 
 Were I to hear a man making flrong protections, 
 and fwearing to the truth of a thing, that is in itfelf 
 probable and very likely to be, I fhould doubt his vera- 
 city ; for when he takes fuch pains to make me believe 
 it, it cannot be v.'ith a, good defign. 
 
 28. There
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 275 
 
 28. There is a certain eafinefs or falfe modefty in 
 moft young people, that either makes them unwilling, or 
 afhamed to refufe any thing" that is alked of them. 
 There is alfo an unguarded opennefs about them that 
 makes them the ready prey of the aitfifl and defigning^ 
 They are eafily led away by the feigned friendfliips of 
 a knave or a fool, and too rafhly place a confidence in 
 them, that terminates in their lois, and frequently in 
 their ruin. Beware, therefore, as I faid before, of thcfe 
 proffered friendfliips ; repay them with compliments, but 
 not with confidence. Never let your vanity make you 
 fuppole that people become your friends upon a flight 
 acquaintance ; for good offices muft be fliewn on both 
 fides to create a friendfhip: it will not thrive, unlefs 
 its love be mutual ; and it requires time to ripen it. 
 
 29. There is ftill among young people another kind 
 of friendship merely nominal, warm indeed for the time, 
 but fortunately of no long continuance. This friendfliip 
 takes its rife from their purfuing the fame courfe of riot 
 and debauchery ; their purfts are open to each other, 
 they tell one another all they know, they embark in the 
 fame quarrels, and ftand by each other on all occafions. 
 I fliould rather call this a confederacy againlt good 
 morals and good manners, and think it deferves the fe- 
 vereft lafli of tne law ; but they have the impudence to 
 call it friendship. However, it is often as fuddenly dif- 
 folved as it is hallily contracted ; fome accident difperfes 
 them, and they prefently forget each other, except it is 
 to betray and laugh at their own egregious folly. 
 
 In ftiort, the fum of the whole is, to make a wide dif- 
 ference between companions and friends ; for a very 
 agreeable companion has often proved a very dangerous 
 friend. 
 
 CHOICE
 
 276 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 CHOICE OF COMPANY. 
 
 j. 1 H E next thing to the choice of friends is the 
 choice of your company. 
 
 Endeavour as much as you can, to keep good com- 
 pany, and the company of your fuperiors : for you will 
 be held in eftimation according to the company you 
 keep. By fupericrs, I do not mean fo much with re- 
 gard to birth, as merit, and the light in which they are 
 confidered by the world. 
 
 2. There are two forts of good company; the one 
 confifts of perfons of birth, rank, and fafhipn ; the other, 
 of thofe who are diftinguiilied by fome peculiar merit, 
 in any liberal art or fcience ; as men of letters, &c. and 
 a - mixture of thefe is what I would have underftood by 
 good company ; for it is not what particular fets of 
 people (hall call themfelves, but what the people in ge- 
 nernl acknowledge to be fo, and are the accredited good 
 company of the place. 
 
 3. Now and then, perfons without either birth, rank, 
 or character, will creep into good company, under the 
 protection of fome confiderable perfonage ; but, in ge- 
 neral, none are admitted of mean degree, or infamous 
 moral character. 
 
 In this fafhionable good company alone, can you learn 
 the beft manners and the beft language ; for, as there is 
 no legal ftandard to form them by, it is here they are 
 eftabliflied. 
 
 It may pofllbly be queftioned, whether a man has it 
 always in his power to get into good company ; undoubt- 
 edly, by deferviiig it, he has; provided he is in citcum- 
 ftances which enable him to live and appear in the ftyle 
 of a gentleman. Knowledge, modefly, and good breed- 
 ing,
 
 AND ENGLISH T I A U H E R S ASSISTANT. 277 
 
 ing, will endear him to all that fee him; for without 
 politenefs, the fcholar is no better than a pedant, the 
 philofbpher than a cynic, the foldier than a brute, nor 
 tny man than a clown. 
 
 4. Though the company^of men of learning and ge- 
 nious is highly to be valued, and occafionally coveted, 
 I would by no means have you always found in fuch 
 company. As Ihey do not live in the world, they can- 
 not have that eafy manner and addrefs which 1 would 
 wifli to acquire. If you can bear a part in fuch com- 
 pany, it is certainly advifeuble to be in it fomettmes, and 
 you will be the more cfteemed in other company, by 
 being fo ; but let it not engrofs you, left you be con- 
 (idered as one of the literati, which however refpela.b!e 
 in name, is not the way to rife or {Line in the failiion- 
 able world. 
 
 5. But the company, which of all others, you fhoufd 
 carefully avoid, is that, which in every fenfe of the word, 
 may be called loiv: low in birth, low in rank, low in 
 parts, and low in manners: that company, who infigni- 
 ficant and contemptible in themfelves, think it an honour 
 to be feen with you, and who will flatter your follies. 
 nay, your very vices, to keep you with them. 
 
 6. Though you may think fuch a caution unnecefTary, 
 7 do not; for many a young gentleman of fenfe and 
 rank, has been led by his vanity to keep fuch company, 
 until he has been degraded, vilified and undone. 
 
 The vanity 1 mean, is that of being the firft of the 
 company. This pride, though too common, is idle to 
 the lair, degree. Nothing in the woild lets a man dowo 
 fo much. For the fake of dictating, being applauded 
 and admired by this low company, he is diigraced and 
 difqualified for better. Depend upon it, in the eftima- 
 tion of mankind, you will fink or rife to the level of the 
 company you keep. Kb 7. Be
 
 2^8 THE GENTLEMAN AN DLADY's MONITOR, 
 
 7. Be it then your ambition to get into the beft com- 
 pany : and, when there, imitate their virtues, but not 
 their vices. You have, no doubt, often heard of genteel 
 and fafhionable vjces. Thefe are whoring, drinking, 
 and gaining: It has happened that foriie men, even with 
 thefe vices, have been admired and etleemed. Under- 
 ftand this matter rightly, it is not their vices for which 
 they are admired ; but for fome accomplifliments they 
 at the fame time poffefs; for their parts, their learning, 
 or their good-breeding. Be aflured, were they free 
 from their vices, they would be much more eiteemed. 
 In thefe mixed characters, the bad part is overlooked, 
 for the fake of the good. 
 
 8. Should you be unfortunate enough to have any 
 vices of your own, add not to their number by adopt- 
 ing the vices of others. Vices of adoption are of all 
 others the moft unpardonable, for they have not inad- 
 Tertency to plead. If people had no vices but their 
 own, few would have fo many as they have. 
 
 Imitate, then, only the perfections you meet with ; 
 copy the politenels, the addrefs, the eafy manners of 
 well-bred people; and /emember, let them fhine ever 
 fo bright, if they have any vices, they are fo many ble- 
 roifhes, which it would be as ricicuious to imitate, as it 
 would to make an artificial wart upon one's face, be- 
 caufe fo:ue very haridforne man had the misfortune to 
 have a natural one upon his. 
 
 LAUGHTER. 
 
 i.J_fET us now defcend to minuter matters, which 
 though not fo important as thofe we have mentioned, 
 are ftill far from inconfiderable. Of ihefe laughier is ,ne. 
 
 Frequent
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER.*S ASSISTANT. 279 
 
 Frequent and loud laughter is a ftire fign of a weak 
 mind, and no iefs characteristic of a low education. It 
 is the manner in which low-bred men exprefs their filly 
 joy, at filly things, and they call it being merry. 
 
 2. I do not recommend upon all occafions a folemn. 
 countenance. A man may fmile ; but if he would-be 
 thought a gentleman and a man of fenfe, he fhould by 
 no means laugh. True wit never yet m'ade a man of 
 fafliion laugh ; he is above it. It may create a fmile, 
 but as loud laughter iliews, that a man has not the 
 command of himfelf, every one who would wifli to ap- 
 pear fenfible, muft abhor it. 
 
 A man's going to fit down, on a fuppofition that he 
 has a chair behind him, and falling for want of one, oc- 
 cafions a general laugh, when the beft piece of wit 
 would not do it { a fufiicient proof how low and unbe- 
 coming laughter is. 
 
 3. Befides could the immoderate laugher hear his own 
 noife, or ffe the faces he makes, he would defpife him- 
 felf for his folly. Laughter being generally fuppofed 
 to be the effect of gaiety, its abfurdity is not properly 
 attended to ; but a little reflection will eafily reftrain if, 
 and when you are told, it is a mark of low-breeding, 1 
 perfuade myfelf you will endeavour to avoid it. 
 
 4. Some people have a filly trick of laughing whenever 
 they fpeak ; fo that they are always on the grin, and 
 their faces are ever diftorted. This and a thoufand 
 i her tricks, fuch as fcratching their heads, twirling. their 
 hats, fumbling with their button, playing with their fin- 
 gers, &c. are acquired from a falie modeityat their firft 
 outlet in life. Being fhame faced in company, they try 
 a variety of ways to keep themfelves in countenance; 
 thus, they fall into thofe aukward habits 1 have mention- 
 ed, which grow upon them, and in time become habitual. 
 
 b 2 Nothing
 
 280 THE GEKTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 Nothing is more repugnant likewife to good-breeding 
 than horfe-play of any fort, romping, throwing things 
 at one another's heads, and fo on. They may pafs well 
 enough with the mob, but they leflen, and degrade the 
 gentleman. 
 
 SUNDRY LITTLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 
 
 i. JL HAVE had reafon to obferve before, that various 
 little matters, apparently trifling in themfelves, confpire 
 to form the whole of pleafing, as in a well-finifiied por- 
 trait, a variety of colours combine to complete the piece. 
 It not being neceflary to dwell much upon them, I /hall 
 content niyfelf, with juft mentioning them as they occur. 
 
 2. To do the honours of a table gracefully, is one 
 of the outlines of a well-bred man j and to carve well, 
 is an article, little as it may feem, that is ufeful twice 
 every day, and the doing of which ill is not only trouble- 
 fonie to one's felf, but renders us dilagreeable and ridi- 
 culous to others. We are always in pain for a. man, 
 who inftead of cutting up a fowl genteelly, is hacking 
 for half an hour'accrofs the bone, grealing himfelf and 
 befpattering the company with the fauce. Ufe, with 
 a little attention, is all that is requifite to acquit your- 
 felf well in this particular. 
 
 3. To be well received, you muft alfo pay fome at- 
 tention to your behaviour at table, where it is exceed- 
 ingly rude to fcratch any part ot your body, to fpit, or 
 blow your nofe, if you can pofTibly avoid it, to eat greed- 
 ily, to lean your elbows' on the table, to pick your teeth 
 before the diflies are reiroved, or to leave the table be- 
 fore grace is faid. 
 
 4. Drinking of healths is now grown cut of fafliion, 
 and is very impolite in good company. Cuftom once 
 
 had
 
 AND ENGLISH TE ACHE^'S ASStSTA'NT. fcSl 
 
 had made it univerfal, but the improved manners of the 
 age now render it vulgar. What can be more rude or 
 ridiculous than to interrupt perfons at their meals, with 
 an unnecefTary compliment? Abftain then from this filly 
 cuftom, where you find it out of ufe ; and ufe it only 
 at thofe tables where it continues general. 
 
 5. A polite manner of refufing to comply with the feli- 
 citations of a company, is alfo very neceflary to be learnt: 
 for a young man who ftems to have no will of his own, 
 but dees every thing that is afked of him, may be a very 
 good-natured fellow, but he is a very filly one. If you 
 are invited to drink, at any man's houfe, more than you 
 think is wholefome, you may fay, " you wiih you could, 
 " but that fo little makes you both drunk and fick ; that 
 " you fhall only be bacf company by doing it : ofcourfe, 
 " beg to be excufed." 
 
 6. If defired to play af cards deeper tha"nyou would,, 
 refufe it ludicroufiy $ tell them, " if you were fure to 
 *' lofe, you might poflibly fit down ; but that as fortune 
 " may be favourable, you dread the thought of having 
 *' too much money, ever fince you found what an incum- 
 " brance it was to poor Harlequin, and therefore you 
 " are refolved never to put yourfelf in the way of win- 
 *' ning more than fuch and fuch a fum a-day." This 
 light Wiry of declining invitations to vice and folly, is 
 more becoming a young man than philofophical or fen- 
 tentious refutals, which would only be laughed at. 
 
 7. Now I am on the fubjeft of cards, I mull not 
 omit mentioning the neceflity of playing them well and 
 genteelly, if you would be thought to have kept good 
 company. I would by no means recommend playing at 
 cards, as apart of your ftudy, left you fhould grow too 
 fond of it, and the confequtnces prove bad. It were 
 better aot to know a diamond from a club, than to be- 
 
 . b 3 come-
 
 ibi THE GENTLEMAN AND LADT*S MONITOR, 
 
 come a gambler; but, as cuftom has introduced inno- 
 cent card-playing at nioft friendly meetings, it marks the 
 gentleman to handle them genteelly, and play them 
 well j and as 1 hope you will play only for fmall fuuis, 
 fhould you lofe your money, pray lofe it with temper ; 
 or win, receive your winnings without either elation or 
 greedinefs. 
 
 8. To write well and correft, and in a pleafing ftile, 
 is another part of polite education. Every man who 
 has the ufe of his eyes and his right hand, can write 
 whatever hand he pleafes. Nothing is fo illiberal as a 
 fchool boys fcrawl. I would not have you learn a ftiff 
 formal hand-writing, like that of a fchool-mafter, but a 
 genteel, legible, and liberal hand, and to be able to 
 write quick. As to the correftnefs and elegancy of your 
 writing, attention to grammar does the one, and to the 
 beft authors, the other. Epiftolary correfpondence fhou'd 
 not be carried on in a ftudied or affe&ed ftyle, but the 
 language fhould flow from the pen, as naturally and as 
 eafily as it would from the mouth. Jn ihort, a letter 
 fhould be penned in the fame ftyle, as you would ;alk 
 to your friend, if be was prefent. 
 
 9. If writing well fliew the gentleman, much more fo 
 does fpelling well. It is fo efTentially neceilary for a 
 gentleman, or a man of letters, that one fa lie fpelling 
 may fix a ridicule on him for the remainder of his life. 
 Words in books are generally well fpelled, according 
 to the orthography of the age ; reading therefore with 
 attention, will teach every one to fpell right. It fome- 
 times happer.s that words fliall be fpelled differently by 
 different authors j but, if you fpell them upon the autho- 
 rity of one, in eftimaiion of the public, you will efcape 
 ridicule. Where^there is but one way of fpelling a word, 
 by your fpelling it wrong, you will be fure to be laughed 
 
 at.
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 2^3 
 
 at. For a woman of & tolerable education would laugh 
 at and defpife her lover, if he wrote to her, and the 
 words were ill fpelled. Be particularly attentive then 
 to your ipelling. 
 
 10. There is nothing that a young man at his firfl ap- 
 pearance in life, ought more to dread, than having any 
 ridicule fixed on him. In the eftimation even of the rnoft 
 rational men, it will iefien him, but ruin him with all the 
 reft. Many a man has been undone by a ridiculous 
 nick-name. The caufes of nick-names among well-bred 
 men, are generally the little defects in manner, air, or 
 addrefs. To have the appellation of ill-bred, aukward, 
 muttering, leit-legged, or any other tacked always to 
 your name, would injure you more than your are aware 
 of; avoid then thefe little defects (and they are eafily 
 avoided) and you need never fear a nick-name. 
 
 1 1. Some young men are apt to think, that they can- 
 not be complete gentlemen, without becoming men of 
 pleaiure. A rake is made up of the meaneft and moft 
 difgraceful vices. They all combine to degrade his cha- 
 lacler, and ruin his health and fortune. Amanofplea- 
 fure will refine upon the enjoyments of the age, attend, 
 them with decency, and partake of them becomingly. 
 
 12. Indeed, he is too often lefs fcrupulous than he 
 fliould be, and frequently has caufe to. repent it. A man 
 of pleafure, at beft, is but a ciifiipated being, and what 
 the rational pan of mankind muft abhor; I mention it, 
 however, left in taking up the man of pleafure, you 
 ihould fall into the rake ; for of two evils, always chufe 
 the leaft. A difTolute, flagitious footman, may make 
 as good a rake as a man of the firft quality. Few men 
 can be men of pleafure ; every man may be a rake. 
 
 13. There is a certain dignity that fliould bs preierveU 
 in all our plcafures; in love, a man may lofc bis heart, 
 
 without
 
 284 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 without lofing his nofe ; at table, a man may have a diftin- 
 guifhing paLte, viithout being a glutton; he may love 
 wine, without being a drunkard ; he may game, with- 
 out being a gambler, and fo on. 
 
 14. Every virtue has its kindred vice, and every 
 pleafure its neighbouring difgrace. Temperance and 
 moderation mark the gentleman; but excefs, the black- 
 guard. Attend carefully, then, to the line that divides 
 them; and remember, ftop rather a yard fhort, than ftep 
 an inch beyond it. Weigh the prefent enjoyment of 
 vour pieafures againft the necefiary confequences of 
 them, and I will leave you to your own determination. 
 
 15. A gentleman has ever fome regard alfo to the 
 choice of his amafements. If at cards, he will not be 
 feen at cribbage, all-fours, or putt; or, in fports of ex- 
 ercife, at Ikittle', foot-ball, leap-frog, cricket, driving of 
 coaches, &c. but will preferve a propriety in every part 
 of his conduct ; knowing that any imitation of the man- 
 ners of the mob, will unavoidably (lamp him with vul- 
 garity. There is another amufement too, which 1 can- 
 not help calling illiberal, that is, playing upon any mu- 
 fical inftnmient. 
 
 16. Mufic is commonly reckoned one of the liberal 
 arts, and undoubtedly is fo ; but to be piping or fiddling. 
 at a concert is degrading to a man of fafliion. If you 
 love inufic, hear it; pay fiddlers to play to you, but 
 never fiddle yourfelf. It makes a gentleman appear fri- 
 volous and contemptible, leads him frequently into bad 
 company, and waltes that time which might otherwife 
 be well employed. 
 
 17. Secrecy is another charac~leriftic of good-breeding. 
 Be careful never to teH in one company what you fee or 
 hear in another ; much id's to divert the prefent company 
 at the expence of the lath Things apparently indifferent,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 285 
 
 may, when often repeated and told abroad, have much 
 more ferious confequences than imagined. In conver- 
 fation, there is generally a t-icit reliance, that what is 
 faid will not be repeated; and a man, though not en- 
 joined to fecrecy, will be excluded company, if found 
 to be a taller ; befides, he will draw himfelf into a thou- 
 fand fcrapes, and every one will be afraid to fpeak be- 
 fore him. 
 
 18. Pulling out your watch in company unafked, 
 either at home or abroad, is a maik of ill-breeding ; if 
 at home, it appears as if you were tired of your com- 
 pany, and wifhed them to be gone ; if abroad,, as if the 
 hours dragged heavily, and you wifhed to be gone your- 
 felf. If you want to know the time, withdraw j befidcs 
 as the taking what is called a French leave was intro- 
 duced, that on one perfon's leaving the company the reft 
 might not be difturbed, looking at your watch does what 
 that piece of polhenefs was defigned to prevent; it is a 
 kind of dictating to all prefent, and telling them it is' 
 time, oralmoft time to break up. 
 
 19. Among other things, let me caution you againft 
 ever being in a hurry ; a man of fenfe may be in hafte,, 
 but he is never in a hurry; convinced that hurry is the 
 fureft way to make him do, what he undertakes, ill. To 
 be in a hurry, is a proof that the bufinefs we embark in 
 is too great for us ; of cowrfe, it is the mark of little 
 minds, that are puzzled and perplexed, when they fhould 
 be cool and deliberate; they wifh to do every thing at 
 once, and are thus able to do nothing. Be fteady, then, 
 in all your engagements; look round you, before you 
 begin ; and remember that you had better do half of 
 them well; and leave the reft undone, than to do the 
 whole indifferently. 
 
 20. From
 
 286 THE GENTLEMAN A N D L AD Y*S M N I T R, 
 
 20. From a kind of falfe rnodefty, mod young men 
 are apt to confider familiarity as unbecoming. Forward- 
 nefs I allow is foj but there is a decent familiarity that 
 is necefTary in the courfe of life. Mere formal vifits, 
 upon formal invitations, aie not the thing; they create 
 no connection, nor will they prcve of fervice to you ; it 
 is the carelefs and eafy ingrefs and egrefs, at all ho^irs, 
 that feaures an acquaintance to our intercft, and this is 
 acquired by a refpeclfui familiarity entered into, without 
 forfeiting your confequence. 
 
 21. In acquiring new acquaintance, be careful not to 
 neglect your old, for a flight of this kind is ieldom for- 
 given. If you cannot be with your former acquaintance 
 fo often as you ufed to be, while you had no othcis, take 
 care not to give them caufe to think you neglect them ; 
 call upon them frequently, though you cannot (lay long 
 with them; telt them you are lorry to leave them fo 
 foon, and nothing flhould take you away but certain en- 
 gagements which good manners oblige you to attend to ; 
 for it will be your intereft to make all the friends you 
 can, and as few enemies as poifible. 
 
 22. By friends, I would not be underftood to mean 
 confidential ones; but perfons who fpeakofyou refpecl- 
 fully, and who, confident with their own intereft, would 
 wiit to be of fervice to you, and would rather do you 
 good than harm. 
 
 Another thing I mud recommend to you, as charac- 
 teriftic of a polite education, and of having kept good 
 company, is a graceful manner of conferring favours. 
 The moft obliging things may be done fo aukwardly as 
 to offend, while the moft difagreeable things may be 
 done fo agreeably as to pleafe. 
 
 23. A few more articles of general advice, and I have 
 done i the fi/fl is on the fubjed of vanity. It is the com- 
 mon
 
 AMD ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 287 
 
 mon failing of youth, and as fuch ought to be carefully 
 guarded againft. The vanity I mean, is that which, if 
 given way to, (lamps a man a coxcomb, a character he 
 will find a difficulty to get rid of, perhaps as long as be 
 lives. Now this vanity fliews itfelf in a variety of fhapes j 
 one man fhall pride himfelf in taking the lead in all con- 
 verfations,. and peremptorily deciding up n every fub- 
 ject; another 'defirous of appearing fuccefsful among 
 the women, fhall infmuute the encouragement he has 
 met with, the conquefl he makes, .and perhaps boaft of 
 favours he never received j if he fpeaks the truth, He is 
 ungenerous; iffalfe, he is a villain; but whether true 
 or falle, he defeats his own purpofes, overthrows the 
 reputation he wifhes to erect, and draws upon himfelf 
 contempt in the room of refpect. 
 
 24. Some men are vain enough to think they acquire 
 confequence by alliance, or by an .acquaintance with 
 perfons of dillinguiflied character or abilities ; hence 
 they are eternally talking of thc-ir grandfather, Lord 
 fuch-a-6ne ; their kinfman, Sir William fuch a-onej or 
 their intimate iriend, Dr fich-a-one, with whom, per- 
 haps, they are fcarce acquainted. If they are ever 
 found out (and that they are fure to be, one time or 
 other) they become ridiculous and contemptible ; but 
 even admitting what they fay to be true, what then? A 
 man's intrinfic merit does not rife from an ennobled al- 
 liance, or a reputable acquaintance. 
 
 25. A rich man never borrows. When angling for 
 praife, modetty is the fureft bait. If we would wifh. to 
 Hiine in any particular character, we muft never affeft 
 that character. An affectation of courage will make a 
 man paf> for a bully ; an affectation of wit, for a cox- 
 comb; and an affectation "'' fenfe, for a fool. Not that 
 I would recommend baftifuln^Is or timidity : no, I 
 
 would
 
 288 THE GENTLEMANANDLADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 would have every one know his own value, yet not dif- 
 cover that he knows it, but leave his merit to be found 
 out by others. 
 
 26. Another thing worth your attention is, if in com- 
 pany with an inferior, not to let him feel his inferiority; 
 if he difcovers it hirafelf without your endeavours, the 
 infult is not your's, and he will not blame you; but if 
 you take pains to mortify him, or to make him feel 
 himfelf inferior to you in abilities, fortune, or rank, it is 
 an infult that will not readily be forgiven. In point of 
 abilities, it would be unjuft, as they are out of his power; 
 in point of rank or fortune, it is ill-natured and ill-bred. 
 
 27. This rule is never more neceflary than at table, 
 where there cannot be a greater infult than to help an 
 inferior to a part he diflikes, or a part that may be worfe 
 than ordinary, and to take the beft to yourfeif. If you 
 
 at any time invite an inferior to your table, you put him, 
 during the time he is there, upon an equality with you, 
 and it is an ad of the higheil rudenefs to treat him in 
 any refpeft, flightingly. I would rather double my at- 
 tention to fuch a perfon, and treat him %vith additional 
 refpeft, leil he ftiould even fuppofe himfelf negleded. 
 
 28. There cannot be a greater favagenefs, orcrueltjf, 
 or any thing moje degrading to a man of fafhion, than 
 to put upon or take unbecoming liberties with him. 
 whofe modeily, humility, or refpecl, will not fuffer him 
 to retaliate. True politenefs confifts in making every 
 body happy about you ; and as to mortify is to render 
 unhappy, it can be nothing but the wortt of breeding. 
 Make it a rule, rather to flutter a perfon's vanity than 
 otherwife; make him, if poflible, more in love with him- 
 felf, and you will be certain to gain his elleem ; never 
 tell him any thing he may not like to hear, nor fay 
 things that will put him out of countenance, but let it 
 
 be
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER.'* ASSISTANT." 289 
 
 be your ftudy on all occafions to pleafe j this will be 
 making- friends inftead of enemies, and be a mean of 
 fervirjg yourfelf in the end. 
 
 29. Never be witty at the expence of anyone prefent, 
 nor gratify that idle inclination which is too ftrong in 
 uiofl young men, I mean, laughing at, or ridiculing the 
 weaknefles or infirmities of others, by way of diverting 
 the company, or difplaying your own fuperiority. Moft 
 people have their weaknefles, their peculiar likings and 
 averfions. Some cannot bear the fight of a cat ; others 
 thefmellofcheefe, and fo on ; were you to laugh at theft 
 men for their antipathies, or by defign or inattention to 
 bring them in their way, you could not infult them more. 
 
 30. You may poflibly thus gain the langh on your 
 fide, for the prefent, but it will make the perfon, perhaps, 
 at whofe expence you are merry, your enemy for ever 
 after; and even thofe who laugh with you, will, on a 
 little reflection, fear you and probably defpile you ^ 
 whereas to procure what one likes, and to remove what 
 the other hates, would fhew them that they wereobjeds 
 of your attention, and poflibly make them more your 
 friends than much greater fervices would have done. 
 
 31. If you have wit, ufe it to pleafe, but not to hurt. 
 You may fliine, but take care not to fcorch. In fhort,. . 
 never feem to fee the faults of others. Though among 
 the uiafs of men there are doubtlefs, numbers of fools and 
 knaves, yet were we to tell every one of thefe we meet 
 with, that we know them to be fo , we fhould be in perpetu- 
 al war. I would deleft the knave and pity the fool, wher- 
 ever I found him, but I would let neither of them know 
 unneceflarily that I did fo, as I would not be industrious 
 to make myfelf enemies. As one muft pleafe others then, 
 in order to be pleafed one's felf, confidcr what is agree- 
 able to you muft be agreeable to them, and condu6k 
 yourfcif accordingly. 
 
 c c 32. Wfcif-
 
 igo THE GENTLEMAN AKDLADv's MONITOR, 
 
 32. Whifpering in company is another aft of ill- breed- 
 ing ; it feems to infinuate either that the perfons whom 
 we would not wi/h fhould hear, are unworthy of our 
 confidence, or rt may lead them to fuppofe we are fpeak- 
 ing improperly of them j on both accounts therefore ab- 
 ftain from it. 
 
 So pulling out one letter after another and reading 
 them in company, or cutting, or pairing one's nails, is 
 unpolTte and rude. It feems to fay, we are weary of the 
 converfation, and are in want of fomeamufement to pafs 
 away the time. 
 
 33. Humming a tune to ourfelves, drumming with 
 our fingers on the table, making a noife with our feet, 
 and fuch like, are all breaches of good manners, and in- 
 dications of our contempt for the perfons prefent ; there- 
 fore they fliould not be indulged. 
 
 Walking faft in the ftreets is a mark of vulgarity, im- 
 plying hurry of bufinefs ; it may appear well in a mecha- 
 nic or tradefman, but fuits ill with the character of a. 
 gentleman or a man offafliion. 
 
 Staring any perfon you meet, full in the face, is an 
 aft alfo of ill-breeding ; it looks as if you faw fomething 
 wonderful in his appearance, and is therefore a tacit re- 
 prehenfion. 
 
 34. Eating quick, or very flow, "at meals, ischaracter- 
 iftic of the vulgar j the firft infers poverty, that you have 
 not had a good meal for fome time ; the laft, if abroad, 
 that you diftike your entertainment ; if at home, that 
 you are rude enough to fet before your friends what you 
 cannot eat yourfelf. So again, eating your foup with 
 your note in the plate is vulgar ; it has the appearance 
 of being ufed to hard work, and of courfe an unftead/ 
 hand. 
 
 DIGNITY
 
 AKD ENGLISH T BACKER'S ASSISTANT. 
 
 DIGNITY OF MANNERS. 
 
 i . A CERTAIN dignity of manners is-abfoltrtely ne- 
 ceflary, to make even the nioft valuable chara&er either 
 refpected or refpe&able in the world. 
 
 Horfe-play, romping, frequent and loud fits of laugh- 
 ter, jokes, waggery, and indifcriminate familiarity, will 
 fink both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. 
 They compofe at moft a merry fellow, and a merry fel- 
 low was never yet a refpe&able man. Indifcriminate 
 familiarity either offends your fuperiors, or elle' dubs 
 you their dependent and led captain. It gives your in- 
 feriors juft, but troublefome and improper claims of e- 
 quality. A joker is near a-kin to a buffoon ; and neither 
 of them is the leaft related to wit. 
 
 2. Mimicry, the favourite amufement of little minds, 
 has been ever the contempt of great ones. Never give 
 way to it yourfelf, nor even encourage it in others ; it is 
 the moft illiberal of all buffoonery ; it is an infult on the 
 perfon you mimic ; and infults, I have often told you, 
 are feldom forgiven. 
 
 As to a mimic or a wag, he is little elfe than a buffoon, 
 who will diftort his mouth and his eyes to make people 
 laugh. Be affured, no one perfon ever demeaned him- 
 felf to pleafe the reft, unlefs he wiflied to be thought 
 the Merry-andrewof the company;, and whether this 
 character is refpe&able, I will leave you to judge. 
 
 3. If a man's company is coveted on any other account 
 than his knowledge, his good fenfe, or his manners, he 
 is feldom rejected by thofe who invite him, but made 
 ufe of only to entertain. " Let's have fuch a one, for 
 b fin^s a good fong, or he is always joking or laugh- 
 
 c c z ing ;"
 
 2Q2 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 ing ;" or " lei's fend for fuch a one, for he is a good 
 bottle companion ;" thefe are degrading diftinftioris, that 
 preclude ail refpect and elteem. Whoever is had (as the 
 phrafeis) for the fake of any qualification, fingly, is mere- 
 ly that thing he is had for, never confidered in any other 
 light, and of courfe, never properly refpecled, let his in- 
 trinfic merits be what they will. 
 
 4. You may poffibly fuppofe this dignity of manners 
 to border upon pride; but it differs as much from pride, 
 as true courage from bluftering. 
 
 To flatter a perfon right or wrong, is abjeft flattery ; 
 and to fonfent readily to every thing propofed by a com- 
 pany, be it filly or criminal, is full as degrading, as to 
 difputc warmly upon every fuhjedl, and to contradict 
 upon all occafions. To preferve dignity, we fhould 
 niodeltly aflert our own fentiments, though we politely 
 acquiefce in thofe of otheis. 
 
 So again, to fupport dignity of character, we fhould 
 
 neither be frivoloufly curious about trifles, nor be labo- 
 
 rioufly intent on little objects that deferve not a moment's 
 
 attention ; for this implies an incapacity in matters of 
 
 j greater importance. 
 
 A great deal likewife depends upon our air, addrefs, 
 and expreflicn $ an aukward addrefs and vulgar expref- 
 fions infer either a lew turn of mind, or a low education. 
 
 c, Inibknt contempt, or low envy, is incompatible 
 alfo with dignity of manners. Low-bred perfons, fortu- 
 nately lifted in the world, in fine clothes and fine equi- 
 pages, vill infolently look down on all thofe who can- 
 not afford to make as good an appearance ; and they 
 openly envy thofe who pejhaps make a better. They 
 alfo dread the being flighted ; of courfe are fufpicious, 
 and captious j are uneafy tbernfelves, and make every 
 body clfe fo about them, 
 
 6. A
 
 AND BNGLISHTEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 293 
 
 6. A certain degree of outward ferioufnefs in looks and 
 actions gives dignity, while a conftant fmirk upon the 
 face (with that infipid filly fmile fools have when they 
 would be civil) and whiffling motions, are ftrong marks 
 of futility. 
 
 But above all, a dignity of character is to be acquir- 
 ed beft by a certain firmnefs in all our actions. A mean, 
 timid and paffive complaifance, lets a man down more 
 than he is aware of; but ftill his firmnefs or refolution 
 fhould not extend to brutality, but be accompanied with 
 si peculiar and engaging foftnefs, or mildnefs. 
 
 7. If you difcover any haftinefs in your temper, and 
 find it apt to break out into rough and unguarded expref- 
 fions, watch it narrowly and endeavour to curb it; but 
 let no complaifance, no weak defire of pleafing, no 
 wheedling, urge you to do that which difcretion forbids; 
 but perfift and perfcvere in all that is right. In your con- 
 nections and friendfhips, you will find this rule of ufe to 
 you. Invite and preferve attachments, by your finnnefs;. 
 but labour to keep clear of enemies, by a mildnefs of be- 
 haviour. Difarm thofe enemies you may unfortunately 
 have (and few are without them) by a-gentlenefs of man- 
 ner, but make them feel the fteadinefs of your juft re- 
 fentment ; for there is a wide difference between bear- 
 ing malice, and a determined felf defence ; the one is im- 
 perious, but the other is prudent and juftifiable. 
 
 S. In directing your fervants, or any perfon you have 
 a~ right to command ; if you deliver your orders mildly, 
 and in that engaging manner which every gentleman 
 fliould ftudy to do, you will be chearfuliy, and confe- 
 quently, well obeyed ; but if tyrannically, you would 
 be very unwillingly ferved, if ferved ^t all. A coo!, 
 Ready determination fhould fliew that you will be obey- 
 ed, but a gentlenefs in the manner of enforcing that obe j 
 c c 3 dience-;
 
 ^94 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 dience fliould make fervice a chearful t one. Thus will 
 you be loved without being defpifed, and feared without 
 being hated. 
 
 g. I hope I need not mention vices. A man who has 
 patiently been kicked out of company, may have as good 
 a pretence to courage, as one rendered infamous by his 
 vices, may to dignity of any kind ; however, of fuch confe- 
 quence are appearances, that an outward decency, and 
 an afFecled drgnity of manners, will even keep fuch a man 
 the longer from finking. If therefore you fliould unfor- 
 tunately have no intrinfic merit of your own, keep up, 
 if poflible, the appearance of it ; and the world will pof- 
 fibly give you credit for the reft. A verfatility of man- 
 ner is as necellary in focial life, as a verfatiiity of parts 
 in political. This is no way blamable, if not ufed \virh 
 an ill defign. We muft, like the cameleon, then, put 
 on the hue of the perfons we wiili to be well with ; and 
 it furely can never be blamable, to endeavour to gain 
 the good-will or arTeftion of any one, if when obtained, 
 we do not mean to abuie it. 
 
 RULES FOR CONVERSATION. 
 
 f. jACK LIZARD was about fifteen when he was 
 firft entered in the univerfity, and being a youth of a 
 great deal of fire, and a more than ordinary application 
 to his rtudies, it gave his converfarion a very particular 
 turn. He had too much fpirit to hold his tongue in 
 company ; but at the fame time fo little acquaintance 
 with the world, that he did not know how to talk like 
 other people. 
 
 2. After
 
 AND ENGLISH TtACHER*S ASSISTANT. 295 
 
 t 
 
 2. After a year and a half's ftay at theuniverfity, he 
 came down among us to pafs away a month or two in 
 the country. The firft night after his arrival, as we were 
 at fupper, we were all of us very much improved by 
 Jack's table-talk. He told us, upon the appearance of a 
 difli of wild-fowl, that according to the opinion of fome 
 natural phiiofphers, they might be lately come from the 
 moon. 
 
 3. Upon which the Sparkler burfting out into a laugh, 
 he infulted her with ieveral queftions, relating to, the 
 bignefs and diftance of the moon and ftars ; and after 
 every interrogatory would be winking upon me, and 
 fmiiing at his fitter's ignorance. Jack gained his point ; 
 for the mother was pleafed, and all the fervants flared- 
 at the learning of their young matter. Jack was fo en- 
 couraged at his fuccefs, that for the firft week he dealt 
 wholly in paradoxes. It was a common jeft with him 
 to pinch one of his fiftei's lap-dogs, and afterwards 
 prove he could not feel it. . 
 
 4. When the girls were (brting a fet of knots, he 
 would demonftrate to them that all the ribbons were of 
 the fame colour ; or rather, fays Jack, of no colour at 
 all- My lady Lizard herfelf, though fhe was not a lit- 
 tlfc pleafed with her fon's improvements, was one day al- 
 moft angry with bun ; for having accidentally burnt her 
 fingers as fhe was lighting the lamp for her tea-pot ; in 
 the midft of her anguifh. Jack laid hold of the opportu- 
 nity to inftruft her that there was no fuch thing as heat 
 in fire. In fhort, no day patted over our heads, in which 
 Jack did not imagine he made the whote family wifer 
 than they were before. 
 
 5. That part of his converfation which gave me the 
 moft pain, was what pafled among thofe country gentle- 
 men that came to vifit us. On fuch occafions Jack 
 
 ufually
 
 ago" THE CENTLEM-AN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 ufually took upon him to be the mouth of the company ; 
 and thinking himfelf obliged to be very merry, would 
 entertain us with a great many odd fayings and abfurd- 
 ities of their college-cook. I found this fellow had made 
 t very ftrcng ImprefTion cpcn Jack's imagination ; 
 which he never conlidered was not the cafs of the reft 
 of the company, till after many repeated trials he found 
 that his ftoties feldom made any body laugh but himfelf. 
 
 6. 1 all this while looked upon Jack as a young tree 
 {hooting out into bloflbms before irs time; the redun- 
 dancy of which, though, it was a little unfeaibnabie, 
 faemed to foretcl an uncommon fruitfulnefs. 
 
 In order to wear out the vein of pedantry which ran 
 through his converfation, I took him out with me one 
 evening, and fiift of all infmuated tohim thisrule, which 
 I had myfelf learned from a very great author, " To 
 think with the wife, but talk with the vulgar." Jack's 
 good fenfe foon made him reflect that he had expolcd 
 himfelf to the laughter of the ignorant by a contrarj 
 behaviour; upon which he told me, that'he would take 
 care for the future to keep his notions to himfelf, and 
 converfe in the common received fentiments of man- 
 kind.. 
 
 7. He at the fame time defired me to give him an/ 
 other rules of converfation, which 1 thought might be 
 for his improvement. I told him I would think of it ; 
 and accordingly, as I have a particular affection for the 
 young man, I gave him the next morning the following 
 rules in willing, which may, perhaps, have contribut* 
 eti to make him the agreeable man he now is; 
 
 8. The faculty of interchanging our thoughts with 
 one another, or what we exprels by the word conver- 
 fation, has always beta repreftnted by moral writers,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 297 
 
 as one of the nobleft piivileges of reafon, and which 
 more particularly lets mankind above the brute part of 
 the creation. 
 
 Though nothing fo much gains upon the affections 
 as this extempore eloquence, which we have conftantly 
 occ.ifion for, and are obliged to praclife every day, we 
 very rarely meet with any who excel in it. 
 
 9. The converfation of moft men is difagreeable, not 
 fo much for want of wit and learning, as of good-breed- 
 ing and difcretion. 
 
 It is not in every man's power, perhaps, to have fine 
 parts, fay witty things, or tell a ftory agreeably ; but 
 every man may be polite if he pleafes, at leaft to a cer- 
 tain degree. Politenefs has infinitely more power to 
 make us efteemed, and our company Ibught after, than 
 the moft extraordinary parts or attainments we can be 
 mafter of. Thefe feldom fail to create envy, and envy 
 has always fume ill-will in if. 
 
 10. If you refolve to pleafe, never fpeak to gratify 
 any particular vanity or paffion of your own, but always 
 with a defign either to divert or inform the company. 
 A man who only aims at one of thefe, is always eafy in 
 his difcourfe. He is never out of humour at being inter- 
 rupted, becaufe he confiders that thofe who hear him 
 are the belt judges, whether what he was faying could 
 either divert or inform them. 
 
 A modeft perfon feldom fails to gain the good-will of 
 thofe he converfes with, becaufe nobody envies a man 
 who does not appear to be pleafed with hiiufelf. 
 
 11. We fhould talk extremely little of ourfelves. In- 
 deed what can we fay ? It would be as imprudent to dif- 
 cover our faults, as ridiculous to count over onr fancied 
 virtues. Our private and domeftic affairs are tio lefs 
 improper to be introduced in conversion. What does 
 
 it
 
 498 THB GBJffTLEMAN AND L1DY*S 
 
 it concern the company how many horfes you keep in 
 your (tables ? Or whether your fervant is nioft knave 
 or fool ? 
 
 i 2. A man may equally affront the company he is in, 
 by ingroffing all the talk, or obierving a contemptuous 
 filence. 
 
 Conform yourfelf to the tafre, character, and prefent 
 humours of the perfons you converfe with ; not but a 
 perfon muft follow his talent in converfation. Do not 
 force nature, no one ever did it with fuccefs. 
 
 If you have not a talent for humour or raillery, or 
 ftory-teiling, never attempt them. 
 
 13. Contain yourfelf always within the founds of 
 what you know ; and never talk upon things you are ig- 
 norant of, unlefs it be with a view to inform yourfelf. A 
 perfon cannot fail in the obfervance of this rule, without 
 making hinifelf ridiculous ^ and yet how often do we fee 
 ittranfgrefTed! Some, who en war or politics could talk ve- 
 ry well, will be perpetually haranguing on works of genius, 
 and the belle-lettres ; others who are capable of reafon- 
 ing, and would make a figure in grave difcourfe, will 
 yet constantly aim at humour and pleafanlry, though 
 with the worft grace imaginable. Hence it is, that we 
 fee a man of merit fometimes appear like a coxcomb, 
 and hear a man of genius talk like a fool. 
 
 14. Before you tell a ftory, it may be general!; not 
 amifs to draw a fhort character, and give the company 
 a true idea of the principal perfons concerned in it. 
 The beauty of moft things confining not fo much in 
 their being (aid or done, as in their being faid or done 
 by fuch a particular perfon, or on fuch a particular oc- 
 cafion. 
 
 15. Notwithstanding all the advantages of youth, 
 few young people pleafe in converfation ; the reafon is, 
 
 that
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 299 
 
 that want of experience makes them pofitive, and what 
 they fay is rather with a defign to pleafe themfelves, than 
 any one elfe. 
 
 It is certain that age itfelf ftial.l make many things 
 pafs well enough, which would have been laughed at 
 in the mouth of one much younger. 
 
 \6. Nothing, however, is more infupportable to men 
 of fenfe, than an empty formal man who ("peaks in pro- 
 verbs, and decides all controverfies with afliort fentence. 
 This piece of ftupidity is the more infufferable, as it 
 puts on the air of wifdom. 
 
 Great talents for converfation require to be accompa- 
 nied v\ ith great politenefs. He who eclipfes others, owes 
 them great civilities j and whatever a miftaken vanity 
 may tell us, it is better to pleafe iu converfation, than 
 to fhine in it. 
 
 17. A prudent man will avoid talking much of any 
 particular fcience", for which he is remarkably famous. 
 There is not methinks an handfomer thing faid of Mr. 
 Cowley in his whole life, than, that none but his inti- 
 mate friends ever difcovered he was a great poet by 'lis 
 difcourfe ; befides the decency of this rule, it is certain- 
 ly founded in good policy. A man who talks of any 
 thing he is already famous for, has little to get, but a 
 great deal to lofe. 
 
 1 8. I might add, that he who is fometimes (ilent on 
 a fubjeft where every one is fatisfied he would fpeak 
 well, will often be thought no lefs knowing in any other ' 
 matters, where, perhaps, he is wholly ignorant. 
 
 Women are frightened at the name of argument, and 
 are fooner convinced by an happy turn of witty expref- 
 fion^ than by demonftration. 
 
 19. When ever youcommend, add your reafons for 
 
 fo "
 
 30O THE CENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MOJCITOI, 
 
 fo doing; it is this which diftinguiflies the approbation 
 of a man of fenfe, from the flattery of fycophants, and 
 admiration of fools. 
 
 Raillery is no longer agreeable than while the whole 
 company is pleafed with it. I would leaft of all be un- 
 derftood to except the peifon rallied. 
 
 20. Though good-humour, fenfe and difcretion can 
 feldom fail to make a man agreeable, it may be no ill 
 policy fonietimes to prepare yourfelf in a particalar man- 
 ner for converfation, by looking a little farther than 
 your neighbours into whatever is become a reigning 
 fubjeft. If our armies are befieging a place of import- 
 ance abroad, or our Houfe of Commons debating a bill 
 of confequence at home, you can hardly fail of being 
 heard with pleafure, if* you have nicely informed your- 
 felf of the ftrength, fuuation, and hiftory of the firft, or 
 of the reafons for and againft the latter. 
 
 21. Tt drill have the fame effect, if when any fingle 
 perfon begins to make a noife in the world, you can 
 learn fome of the fmalleft incidents in his life, or con- 
 ve^ r ation, which, though they are too fine for the obfer- 
 vation of the vulgar, give more fatisfacYion to men of 
 fenfe, (as they are the beft openings to a real character) 
 than the recital of his molt glaring actions. I know but 
 one ill confequence to be feared from this method, 
 namely, that coining full charged into company, you 
 fliould refolve to unload, whether an handfome oppor- 
 tunity offers itfelf or no. 
 
 22. The liberal arts, though they may pombly have 
 lefs eflfeft on our external mien and behaviour, make fo 
 deep an imprclfion on the mind, as is very apt to bend 
 it wholly one way. 
 
 The mathematician will take little lefs than demon- 
 ftration in the mod common difcourfe, and the fchool-
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHERS ASSISTANT. 30! 
 
 man is as great a friend to definitions and fyilogifms. 
 The phyfician and divine are often heard to dictate in 
 private companies with the fame authority which they 
 exercife over their patients, and dilciples ; while the 
 lawyer is putting cafes, and railing matter for difputa- 
 tion, out of every thing that occurs. 
 
 23. Though the afking of queftions may plead for it- 
 felf the fpecious name of modefty, and a deftre of in- 
 formation, it affords little pleafure to the reft of the 
 company, who are not troubled with the fame doubts ; 
 befia'es which, he who afks a queftion wor^ld do well to 
 confider that he lies wholiy at the mercy of another be- 
 fore he receives an anfwcr. 
 
 24. Nothing is more filly than the pleafure fbme 
 people take in what they call fpeaking their minds. A 
 man of this make will fay a rude thing for the mere 
 pleafure of faying it, when an oppofite behaviour, full 
 as innocent, might have preferved his friend, or made 
 his fortune. 
 
 It is not impolfible for a man to form to himfelf as 
 exquif.te a pleafure in complying with the humours and 
 fentiments of others, as of bringing others over ro his 
 own ; fince it is the certain fign of a fupcrior genius, 
 that can take and become whatever dreis it pleafes. 
 
 25. Avoid difputes as much as poffible, in order to 
 appear eafy and well-bred in converfation. You may 
 allure yourfelf that it requires more wit, as well as more 
 good humour, to improve than to contradict the notions 
 of another ; but if you are at any time obliged to enter 
 on an argument, give your reafons with the utmoft cool- 
 nefs and modefty, two things which fcarce ever fail of 
 making an imprefllon on the hearers. Befides, if you 
 are neither dogmatical, nor fhow either by your actions 
 or words, that you are full of yourfelf, all will the more 
 
 d heartil/
 
 3O2 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 heartily rejoice at your victory ; nay, iliould you be 
 .pinched in your argument, you may make your retreat 
 with a very good grace : you were never pofitive, and 
 are now glad to be better informed. 
 
 26. This hath made 1'ome approve the Socratical way 
 of reafoning, where, while you Icarce affirm -any thing, 
 you can hardly be caught in an ab-.urdityj and though 
 .pollibly you are endeavouring to bring over another to 
 your opinion, which. is firmly fixed, you feem only to de- 
 fire information from him. 
 
 z~. In order to keep that temper which is fo difficult, 
 and yet fo necelTary to preferve, you may pleale to con- 
 fider, that nothing can be more unjuft or ridiculous, than 
 to be angry with another becaufe he is not of your opi- 
 nion. The interefts, education, and n.eans, by which 
 men attain their knowledge, are fo very different, that 
 it is impofilbie they iliould all think alike; and he has 
 at leafl as much realon to be angry with you, as you 
 with him. 
 
 28. Sometimes to keep yourfelf cool, it maybe of 
 \ fervice to alk yourfelf fairly, what might have been your 
 opinion, had you all the buifles of education and intereft 
 your adverfary may poflibly have? But if you contend 
 for the honour of victory aione, you may lay down this 
 as an infallible maxim, That you cannot make a more 
 falfe ftcp, or give your antagonift a greater advantage 
 over you, than by falling into a paffion. 
 
 29 When an argument is over, how many weight/ 
 reafons docs a man recollect, which his heat and vio- 
 lence made .him utterly forget? 
 
 It is yet more abiurd to be angry with a man, becaufe 
 Jie does not apprehend the force of your reafons, or 
 gives weak ones of his own. Ir you argue for reputa- 
 tion, this makes your victory the eafier; he is certainly 
 
 in
 
 AMD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 303 
 
 in all refpeds an cbjeft of your pity, rather than anger ; 
 and if he cannot comprehend what you do, you ought 
 to thank nature for her favours, who has given you fo 
 much the clearer undemanding. 
 
 30. You may plcafe to add this confederation, That 
 among your equals no one values your anger, which 
 only preys upon its mafcer ; and perhaps you may find 
 it not very confident either with prudence or your^eafe, 
 to punifh yourfeif whenever you meet with a fool or 
 a knave. 
 
 31. L'<t(l!y, if you propofe to youifclf the true end of 
 argument, which is information, it may be a feafonable 
 check lo your paflions ; tor if you fearch purely after 
 truth, it will be almoft indifferent to you where you find 
 it. 1 cannot in this place omit an oblervation which I 
 have often made, namely, that nothing procures a man 
 more efteeni and lefs envy from the whole company, 
 than if he choofes the part of moderator, without en- 
 gaging directly on either Trie in a dilpute. 
 
 32. This gives him the character of impartial, fur- 
 niihes him an opportunity of fifting things to the bot- 
 tom, /hewing his judgment, and of fometimes making 
 handfome compliments to each of the contending parties. 
 
 When you have gained a victory, do-not puih it too- 
 far ; it is fufficient to let the company and youf adver- 
 fary fee it is in your power, but that you are too gene- 
 rous to make ufe of it. 
 
 33. I fhall only add, that befides what I have here 
 faid, there is fomething which can never be learnt but in, 
 the company of the polite. The virtues of men are 
 catching as well as their vices, and your own obferva- 
 tions added to theie, will foon diicover what it is that 
 commands attention in one man, and makes you tired 
 and cUfpleafed with the difcourfe of another. 
 
 D d z FURTHER
 
 304 THE GENTLEMAN AND LAD TS MONITOR, 
 
 FURTHER REMARKS TAKEN FROM LORD 
 CHESTERFIELD'S LETTERS TO HIS SON. 
 
 34. WAVING now given you full and fufficient in- 
 ttrudlions for making you well- received in the beft of 
 companies ; nothing remains but that I lay before you 
 fome few rules for your conduct in fuch company. 
 Many things on this fubjeft I have mentioned before ; 
 but fome few matters remain to be mentioned now. 
 
 Talk, then, frequently, but not long together, left 
 you tire the perfons you fire fpeaking to; for few per- 
 fons talk fo well upon a fubject, as to keep up the atten- 
 tion of their hearers for any length of time. 
 
 35. Avoid telling ftories in company unlefs they are 
 very fhort indeed, and very applicable to thefubjeftyou 
 are upon ; in this cafe relate them in as few words as 
 poffible, without the leaft cigreffion, and with fome apo- 
 logy : as, that you hate the telling of ftories, but the 
 fhortnefs of it induced you. And if your (lory has any 
 wit in it, be particularly careful not to laugh at ityourfelf. 
 Nothing is more tirefome and difagreeable than a long, 
 tedious narrative ; it betrays a goffiping difpofition, and 
 great want of imagination ; and nothing is more ridiculous 
 than to exprefs an approbation of your own ftory, by a 
 laugh. 
 
 36. In relating any thing, keep clear of repetitions, or 
 very hackneyed expreflions, fuch as, fays be, orfaysjbe. 
 Some people will ufe thefe-fo often, as to take off the 
 hearers' attention from the (lory,; as, in an organ out of 
 tune, one pipe fnall perhaps found the whole time we 
 are playing, and confufe the piece, fo as not to be under- 
 ftood. 
 
 37. Digreffion.%
 
 >. HD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 505 
 
 37. Digrcflions, likewife, fliould be guarded againfr. 
 A flory is always more agreeable without them. Of 
 this kind are, " The gentleman I am telling you of, is 
 
 " the fon of Sir Thomas , who lived in Harley- 
 
 <( ftrcet ; you muft know him his brother had a hode 
 " that won the fweepftakesat the lair, Newmarket meet- 
 " ing zounds ;. if you don't know him you know no- 
 " thing ;" or, " He was an upright,,tall old gentleman; 
 *' who wore his own long hair; don't you recollect 
 him?" All this is unneceflary ; is very tirefome and 
 provoking, and would be an excufe for a man's beha^ 
 viour, if he was to leave us in the midft of our narrative. 
 
 38. Some people have a trick of holding the perfons 
 they are fpeaking to by the button, or'the hand, in order 
 to be heard out ; confcious, I fuppofe, that their tale is 
 tirefome. Pray, never do this ; if the peribn you fpeak 
 to is not as willing to hear your ftory, as you are to teU 
 it, you had much rather break off in the middle ; for if 
 you tire them once they will be afraid to lillen to you 
 a fecor.d time. 
 
 39. Others have a way of punching the perfon thev are 
 talking to, in the fide, and at the end of every lenience, 
 a Iking fome fuch quelHons as the following : " Wasn't 
 " I right in that? You know I told you fo ? What-'s 
 " your opinion ?" and the like ; or perhaps, they will 
 be thrufling him, or jogging him with their elbow. For 
 mercy's fake, never gave way to this : it will make your 
 company dreaded. 
 
 40. Long talkers are frequently apt to ilngle oat 
 fome unfortunate man prefent ; generally the molt lileni 
 one of the company, or probably him who- fits next 
 him. To this man, in a kind of half whifper will they 
 run on, for half an hour together. Nothing can be 
 more ill-bred. But, if one of thefe unmerciful talkers 
 D d 3 ihould
 
 306 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 ihould attack you, if you wifh to oblige him, I would 
 recommend the hearing htm with patience : feem to do 
 fo at lead, for you could not hurt him more than to 
 leave him in the middle of his ftory, or difcover any 
 impatience in the courfe of it. 
 
 41. Inceflant talkers are very difagreeable compa- 
 nions. Nothing can be more rude than to engrofs the 
 convocation to yourfelf, or to take the words, as il were, 
 out of another man's mouth. Every man in company 
 has an equal claim to bear his part in the converfation, 
 and to deprive him of it, is not only unjufi:, but a tacit 
 declaration that he cannot fpeak fo well upon the fubjeft 
 as yourfelf j you will therefore take it up. And, what 
 can be more rude ? J would as foon forgive a man that 
 fhould flop my mouth when I was gaping, as take my 
 words from me while I was fpeaking them. Now, if 
 this be unpardonable, it cannot be lefs fo. 
 
 42. To help out or foreftal the flow fpeaker, as if you 
 alone were rich in eapr;'ffions and he were poor, is im- 
 proper. You may take it for granted, every one is vain 
 enough to think he can talk well, though he may nio- 
 cieftly deny it ; helping a perfon out therefore in his ex- 
 preflions, is a correction that will ftamp the corrector 
 with impudence and ill-manners. 
 
 43. Thofe who contradict others upon all occafions, 
 and make every aflertion a matter of difpute, betray bj 
 this behaviour an unacquaintance with good- breeding. 
 He, therefore, who wiflies to appear amiable, with thole 
 he converfes with, will be cautious of fuch exprefllons as 
 ihefe, " That can't be true, fir. The affair is as I fay. 
 " That muft be falfe, fir. If what you fay is true, &c." 
 You may as well tell a man he lies at once, as thus in- 
 directly impeach his veracity. It is equally as rude to 
 be proving every trifling aflertion with a bet or a wager. 
 
 " I'll
 
 AND ENGLISH T E A C H E R.'s ASSISTANT. 307 
 
 " I'll bet you fifty of it, and fo on." Make it then a. 
 conftant rule, in matters of no great importance, com- 
 plaifantly to fubmit your opinion to that of others ; for a 
 victory of this kind often cods a man the lofs of a friend. 
 
 44. Giving advice unafked is another piece of rude- 
 nefs ; it is, in effect, declaring ourfelves wifer than thofe 
 to whom we give it ; repioaching them with ignorance 
 and inexperience. It is a freedom that ought not to be 
 taken with any common acquaintance, and yet there are 
 thofe, who will be offended, if their advice is not taken. 
 " Such-a-one," fay they, " is above being advifed. He 
 *' fcorns to liften to my advice; 1 ' as if it were not a mark 
 of greater arrogance to expect every one to fubmit to their 
 opinion than for a man fometimes to follow his own. 
 
 45. There is nothing fo unpardonably rude, as a feetn- 
 ing inattention to the perfon who is (peaking to you; 
 though you may meet with it in others, by all means, 
 
 'avoid it yourfelf. Some ill bred people, while others are 
 fpeaking to them, will, inftead of looking at or attending 
 to them, perhaps fix their eyes on the ceiling, or fome 
 picture in the room, look out of the window, play with 
 a dog, their watch chain, or their cane, or probably pick 
 their nails or their nofes. Nothing betrays a more trifl- 
 ing mind than this ; nor can any thing be a greater af- 
 front to the perfon fpeaking ; it being a tacit declaration, 
 that what he is faying is not worth your attention. COR- 
 fider with yourfelf how you would like fuch treatment, 
 and, I am perfuaded, you will never {hew it to others. 
 
 46. Surlinefs or morofenefs is incompatible alfo with 
 politenels. Such as, fhould any one fay, " he was de- 
 " fired to prefent Mr. Such-a-one's refpedts to you," to 
 reply, " What the devil have I to do with his refpects?" 
 My Lord enquired after you lately, and afked how 
 " you did," to anfwcr, " if he willies to know, let him 
 
 " come
 
 5x58 THE GENTLEMAN A N D t A DY*S M N IT R, 
 
 " come and feel my pulfe," and the like. A good deal 
 of this often is affeQed ; bat whether affected or natural, 
 it is always ofFenfive. A man of this ftamp will occa- 
 fionally be laughed at, as an oddity; but in the end, 
 will-bedefpifed. 
 
 47. I fliould fuppofe it unneceiYary to advife you to 
 adapt your cbnverfation to the company you are in. 
 You would not furely flart the fame fubjeft, and dif- 
 courfe of it in the fame manner, with the old and with 
 the young, with an officer, a clergyman, a philofopher, 
 and a woman ? no; your good fenfe will undoubtedly 
 teach you to be ferious with the ferious, gay with the 
 gay, and to trifle with the triflers. 
 
 48. There are certain exprefTions which are exceed- 
 ingly rude, and yet there are people of liberal education 
 that fometimes ufe them ; as " you don't underlhnd 
 " me, fir. It is not fo. You miftake. You know no- 
 " thing of the matter, &c." Is it not be ter to fay ? 
 " I believe I do not exprefs myfelf fo as to be under- 
 " flood. Let us confider it again, whether we take 
 " it right or not " It is much more polite and amiable 
 to make fome excufe for another,- even in cafes where 
 he might juftly be blamed, and to reprefent the niiftakc 
 as common to both, rather thaji charge him with infenfi- 
 bility or incomprehenfion. 
 
 49. If any one fliould have-promifed you any thing 
 and not have fulfilled that promife, it would be very 
 unpolite to tell him, he has forfeited his word ; or if the 
 fame perfon fliould have difippointed you, upon any 
 occafion, would it not be better to fay, *' you were pro- 
 " bably fo much engaged, that you forgot -my affair," 
 or, *' perhaps it flipped your memory ;" rather than, 
 *' you thought no more about it," or, " you pay very 
 " little regard to your word." For expreffions of this 
 
 kind,
 
 AtfD ENGLISH TEACHER*S ASSISTANT. 309 
 
 kind, leave a (ling behind them. They are a kind of 
 provocation and affront, and very often bring on lafting 
 quarrels. 
 
 50." Be careful not to appear dark and myfterious, left 
 you fhould be thought fufpicious ; than which there can- 
 not be a more unamiable character. If you appear my- 
 fterious and referved, others will be truly fo with you ; 
 and in this cafe, there is an end to improvement, for 
 you will gather no information. Be referved, but never 
 feem fo. 
 
 51. There is a fault extremely common with fonse 
 people, which I would have- you avoid. When their 
 opinion is alkcd upon any fubjeft, they will give it with 
 fo apparent a diffidence and timidity, that one cannot 
 without the utmoft pain, lillen to them ; efpecially if 
 they are known to be men of univerfal knowledge, 
 " Your lordfhip will pardon me, fays one of this ftamp, 
 if I ihould not be able to fpeak to the cafe in hand, fo 
 well as it might be wifhed." " I'll venture to fpeak of 
 this matter, to the beft of my poor abilities and dullnefs 
 ofapprehenfion." " I fear I fliall expofe myfelf, but in 
 obedience to your lordfhip's commands;" and while 
 they are making thefe apologies-; they interrupt the bu- 
 finefs and tire the company. 
 
 52. Always look people in the face, when you fpeak 
 to them, otherwife you will be thought confcious of fome 
 guilt ; befides you lofe the opportunity of reading their 
 countenances, from which you will much better learn 
 the impreflion your difcourfe makes upon them, than 
 you canpoffibly do from their words ; for words are at 
 the will of every one, but the countenance is frequently 
 involuntary. 
 
 53. If in fpeaking to a perfbn, you are not heard, 
 and fhould be defired to repeat what you faid, do not 
 
 raife
 
 310 THE GENTLEMA.N A N D L A DVs M N 1 T R , 
 
 raii'c ycur voice in the repetition, left you fhoald be 
 thought angry, on being obliged to repeat what you had 
 (aid before ; it was probably owing to the heaiefs inat- 
 tention. 
 
 54 One word only, as to fwearing. Thofe who ad- 
 dict themfelves to it, and interlaid their difcourfe with 
 oaths, can never be confidered as gentlemen ; they are 
 generally people of low education, and are unwelcome 
 in what is called good company. It is a vice that has no 
 temptation to plead, but is, in every refpecl, as vulgar 
 as it is wicked. 
 
 55. Never accuftom yourfelf 10 (candal, nor liilen to 
 it; for though it may gratify the malevolence of fome 
 people ; nine times out of ten, it is attended with great 
 difai.ivant.ages. The very perfons you tell it to, will, 
 on reflection, entertain a mean opinion of you, and it 
 will often bring you into a very di&greeable fiuiation. 
 And as there would be no evil fpeakers, if there wer 
 no evil hearers, it is in fcandal as in robbery ; the re- 
 ceiver is as bad as the thief. Befides, it will lead people 
 to ftiun your company, fuppofmg that you will fpeak ill 
 of them to the next acquaintance you meet. 
 
 56. Carefully avoid talking tiiher of your own or o- 
 ther people's domeftic concerns. By doing the one, you 
 will be thought vain ; by entering into the other, you 
 will be confidered as officious. Talking of yourfelf is 
 an impertinence to the company ; your affairs are no- 
 thing to them ; befides they cannot be kept too fecret. 
 And as to the affairs of others, what are they to you? 
 Li talking of matters that no way concern you, you are 
 liable to commit blunders, and fhould you touch any 
 one in a fore part, you may pofllbly lofe his efteem. Let 
 your conv,er(auo,n then in mixed companies always be 
 general. 
 
 57. Jokes,
 
 AND E-wotrsH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 311 
 
 57. Jokes, bin-mil!, or the little pleafantries of one 
 company, will not often bear to be told in another; 
 they are frequently loc.il, and take their rife from cer- 
 tain circumfbances a feconcl company may not be ac- 
 quainted with ; thefe circu:i;ttances, and-of courfe your 
 ftory, may not be underftood, or want explaining ; and 
 
 'if after you have prefaced it with, " I will tell you a 
 good thing," the fting fhould not be immediately per- 
 ceived, you will appear exceedingly ridiculous, and wifh. 
 
 'you had not told it. Never then repeat in one place, 
 what you hoar in another. 
 
 58. In mod debates, take up the favourable fide of 
 the queftion ; however, let me caution you ffgainft being 
 clamorous, that is, never maintain an argument with 
 heat, though you know yourfelf right ; but offer your 
 fentimems modetllv anu coolly, and if this does notpre- 
 -vail, give it up, and try to change the fubject, by fay- 
 v ing fomething to this effect: " 1 find we fliall hardly 
 *' convince one another, neither is there any necefllty to 
 *' attempt it ; fo let us talk of l"on:ething e!fe." 
 
 59. Not that I would have you give up your opinion 
 always ; no, alTert your own fentiments and oppofe thofe 
 of others when wrong; but let your manner and voice 
 be gentle and engaging, and yet no ways affected. If 
 
 you contradict, do it with, I may be wrong, but 1 
 
 won't be pofiuve, but I really think 1 fliould rather 
 fuppofe if I may be permitted to fay and clofe your 
 difpute with good humo'uj, to {hew "you aie neither dif- 
 pleafed yourfelf, nor meant to difpleafe the perfon you 
 difpute with. 
 
 60. Acquaint yourfelf with the character and fitua- 
 tions of the companv ou go into, before you give a 
 loofe to your tongui- ; for, fliotild you enlarge on fome 
 virtue, which anyone prefent may notorioufly want; 
 
 or
 
 312 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY*S MONITOR, 
 
 or fhould you condemn fome vice, which any of the com- 
 pany may be particularly add idled to, they will be apt 
 to think your reflections pointed and perfonal, a: ; ,d you 
 will be fure to give offence. This confideration will 
 naturally lead you, not to fuppofe things faid in genera), 
 to be levelled at you. 
 
 61. Low-bred people, when they happen occafionally 
 to be in good company, imagine themfelvts to be the 
 fubjett of every feparate converfation. If any part of 
 the company whifpers, it is about them ; if they laugh, 
 it is at them ; and if any thing is faid which they do 
 not comprehend, they immediately fuppofe it is meant 
 of them. This miftake is admirably ridiculed in one of 
 our celebrated comedies. " I am fure, (fays Scrub) the/ 
 " were talking of me, for they laughed confumedly." 
 
 62. Now, a well-bred perfon never thinks himfelf dif- 
 efleemed by the company, or laughed at, unlefs their 
 reflections are fo grofs, that he cannot be fuppofed to 
 miftake them, and his honour obliges him to relent it in 
 a proper manner j however, be allured, gentlemen never 
 laugh at or ridicule one another, unlefs they are in joke, 
 or on a footing of the greateft intimacy. If fuch a 
 thing fliould happen once in an age, from fome pert 
 coxcomb, or fome flippant woman, it is better not to 
 feem to know it, than make the lead reply. 
 
 63. It is a piece of politenefs not to interrupt a per- 
 fon in a ftory, whether you have heard it before or not. 
 Nay, if a well-bred man is alked, whether he has heard 
 it ; he will anfwer no, and let the perfon goon, though 
 he knows it already. Some are fond of telling a llory, 
 becaufc they think they tell it well ; others pride them- 
 felves in being the firft teller of it ; and others are pleaf- 
 ed at being thought enirufted with it. Now, all thefe 
 perfons you would difappcint by anfwering yes: And,
 
 AMD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 313 
 
 as I have told you before, as the greateft proof of po- 
 titenefs is to make every body happy about you, I would 
 never deprive a perfon of any fecret fatisfaftion of this 
 fort, when I could gratify him by a minute's attention. 
 
 64. Be not afliaaxed of alking queftions, if fuch quef- 
 tions lead to information ; always accompany them with 
 fome excufe, and you never will be reckoned imperti- 
 nent. But abrupt queftions, without fome apology, by 
 all means, avoid, as they imply defign. There is a way 
 of fifliing for facts, which, if done judicioufly, will an. 
 fwer every purpofe, fuch as, taking things you wifli to 
 know for granted ; this will perhaps lead fo:ne officiou* 
 perfon to let you right. So again, by faying, you have 
 heard fo and fo, and fometimes feeming to know more 
 than you do, you will often get an information, which 
 you would lofe by direct queftions, as thefe would put" 
 people upon their guard, and frequently defeat the very 
 end you aim at. 
 
 65. Make it a rule never to reflect on any body of 
 people, for, by this means you will create a number of 
 enemies. There are good and bad of all profeflioiw, \ 
 lawyers, foldiers, parfons, or citizens. They are 'all 
 men, fubject to the fame paffions, differing only in their 
 manner, according to the way they have been bred up 
 in. For this reafon, it is unjuft as well as indifcreet to 
 attack them as a corps collectively. Many a yoyng man 
 has thought himfelf extremely clever in abufing the 
 clergy. What are the clergy more than other men? 
 Can you fuppofe a black gown can make any alteration 
 in his nature? Fie, fie ; think ferioufly, and I am con- 
 vinced you will never do it. 
 
 66. But above all, let no example, no faftion, no 
 witticifni, no foolifH defire of rifmg above what knaves 
 c*li prejudices, tempt you to excufe, extenuate, or ridi- 
 
 E e cuie
 
 314 T E GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 cule the leaft breach of morality, but upon every occa- 
 fion, iliew the grcateft abhorrence of fuch proceedings, 
 and hold virtue and religion in the higheft veneration. 
 
 It is a great piece of ill -manners to interrupt any one 
 while fpeaking, by fpeaking yourfelf, or calling off the 
 attention of the company to any foreign matter. But 
 this every child knows. 
 
 67. The iaft thing 1 fliall mention is that of conceal- 
 ing your learning, except on particular occafions. Re- 
 ferve this for learned men, and let them rather extort it 
 from you, than you be too willing to difplay it. Hence 
 you will be thought modeft, and to have more know- 
 ledge than you really have. Never feem wife or irore 
 learned than the company you are in. He who affe&s 
 to ftiew his learning, will be frequently queftioned ; 
 and, if found fuperficial, will be fneered at; if other- 
 wife, he will be deemed a pedant. Real merit will al- 
 wa^s {hew itfelf, and nothing can leflen it in the opinion 
 of the world, but a man's exhibiting it himfelf. 
 
 For God's fake, revolve all ihefe things ferioufly in 
 your mind, before you go abroad into life. Recollefl 
 the obfervations you have yourfelf occafionally made 
 upon men and things, compare them with my inftruc- 
 tions, and aft wifely and confequentially, as they Ihall 
 teach you. 
 
 THE VISION OF M1RZA, EXHIBITING A 
 PICTURE OF HUMAN LIFE. 
 
 SPECTATOR, NO. I 5 <J. 
 
 i.O N the fifth day of the moon, which according to 
 the cuftom of my forefathers, I always keep holy, after 
 having wafhed myfelf, and offered up my morning de- 
 votions, I afcended the hi^h hills of B*gdat, in order to 
 
 pals
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER^ ASSISTANT. 315 
 
 pa fs the reft of the day in meditation and prayer. As I was 
 here airing niyfelf on the tops of the mountains, 1 fell 
 into a profound contemplation on the vanity of humnn 
 life ; and paifing from one thought to another, Surely, 
 faid I, man is but a fhadow and life a dream. 
 
 2. Whilft I was thus mufing, I call my eyes towards 
 the fummit of a rock that was not far from me, v> here I 
 difcovered one in the habit of a fhepherd, with a liule 
 muiical inflrument in his hand. As I looked upon him 
 he applied it to his lips, and began to play upon it. The 
 found of it was exceedingly Tweet, and wrought into n 
 variety of tunes that were inexprefl'tbly melodious, and 
 altogether different from any thing I had ev'cr heard r. 
 they put me in mind of thofe heavenly airs that are play- 
 ed to the departed fouls of good men upon their ht- . 
 arrival in Paradife, to wear out the impreflions of the 
 laft agonies, and quality them for the pleafures of that 
 happy place. My heart melted away in fecret rapture*. 
 
 3. I had been often told that the rock before me w*i 
 the haunt of a genius ; and that feveral had been entjeV- 
 tained with that mufic, who had palled by it, but never 
 heard that the mufscian had before made himfelf viiible. 
 When he had raifed my thoughts by thofe tranfporting 
 airs which he played, to tafte the pleafures of his con- 
 verfation, as I looked up^n him like one aftonifhed, he 
 beckoned to me, and by the waving of his hand directed 
 me to approach the place where he fat. 
 
 4. I drew near with that reverence which is due to 
 a fuperior nature ; and as my heart was entirely fub- 
 dued by the captivating drains I had heard, J fell down 
 at his feet and wept. The genius fmiled upon me wuh 
 a look of compalTiori and arLbility, that familiarized him 
 to my imagination, and at once difpelied all the fears 
 and apprehenfions wkh which I approached him. He 
 
 E e z lifted
 
 3l6 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY'S MONITOR, 
 
 lifted me from the ground, and taking me by the hand, 
 Mirza, faid he, I have heard thee in thy foliloquies: 
 follow me. 
 
 5. He then led me to the higheft pinnacle of the rock, 
 and placing me on the top of it, caft thy eyes eaftwards, 
 faid he, and tell me what thou feed. I fee, faid I, a 
 huge valley, and a prodigious tide of water rolling 
 through it. The valley that thou feeft, faid he, is the 
 vale of mifery, and the tide of water that thou feeft 
 is part of the great tide of eternity. 
 
 6. What is the reafon, faid I, that the tide I fee rifes 
 out of a thick mift at one end, and again lofes itfelf in a 
 thick mift at the other ? What thou feeft faid he, is that 
 portion of eternity which is called time, meafured out 
 by the fun, and reaching from the beginning of the 
 
 world to its confummation. Examine now, faid he, this 
 fea that is bounded with darknefs at both ends, and tell 
 me what thou difcovereft in it. I fee a bridge, faid I, 
 {landing in the midft of the tide. The bridge thou 
 feeft, faid he, is human life ; confider it attentively. 
 
 7. Upon a more leifurely furvey of it, I found that it 
 confided of threefcore and .ten entire arches, with feveral 
 broken arches, which added to thofe that were entire, 
 made up the number about an hundred. As 1 was count- 
 ing the arches, the genius told me, that this bridge con- 
 filled at firft ofathoufand arches; but that a great flood 
 fv/cpt away the reft, and left the bridge in the ruinous 
 condition I now beheld it: but tell me further, faid he, 
 what thou difcovereft on it. I fee multitudes of people 
 pafling over it, faid I, and a black cloud hanging on 
 each end of it. 
 
 8. As I looked more attentively, I faw feveral of the 
 ; paficrigers dropping through the bridge, into the great 
 tide that flowed underneath it; and upon further exami- 
 nation,
 
 AND ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 317 
 
 nation, perceived there were innumerable tnip-doors that 
 lay concealed in the bridge, which the paffengers no 
 fooner trod upon, but they fell through them into the 
 tide, and immediately disappeared. Thefe hidden pit- 
 falls were let very thick at the entrance of tte bridge, 
 fo that throngs of people no fooner broke through the 
 cloud, but many of them fell into them. They grew thin- 
 ner towards the middle, but multiplied and lay clofcr to- 
 gether towards the end of the arches that were entire. 
 
 9. There were indeed lome perfons, but their number 
 was very fmall, that continued a kind of hobbling marc it 
 on the broken arches, but fell through one after another, 
 being quite tired and fpent with fo long a walk. 
 
 10. 1 pafTed fome time in the contemplation of th's 
 wonderful (truclure, and the great variety of objetl* 
 which it prefented. My heart was filled witfr a deep 
 melancholy to fee fevcral dropping unexpectedly- in the 
 inidft of mirth and jollity, and catching at every thing 
 thai flood by them to fave themfelves.- Some were 
 looking up towards the heavens in a thoughtful pofturc, 
 and in the midft of a fpeculation Humbled and fell out 
 of fight. Multitudes were very bufy in the purfuit of 
 bubbles that glittered in their eyes and danced before 
 them ; but often when they thought themfelves within 
 the reach of them, their footing failed, and down they 
 funk. 
 
 11. In this confufion of objects, I obferved (bme with 
 fcimitars in their hands, and others with urinals, who 
 ran to and fro upon the bridge, thruitlng feveral perfons 
 on trap-doors which did not feem to lie in their way, 
 and which they might have efcaped had they not been 
 thus forced upon them. 
 
 12. The genius feeing me indulge myfelf in this n.e- 
 lancholy profpect, told me 1 had dwelt long enough upon, 
 
 63 it :
 
 318 THE GENTLFWAW AND LADY'S MONITOE, 
 
 it : take thine eyes off the bridge, fays he, and tell me 
 if thou feeft any thing them doft not comprehend. Up- 
 on looking up, what mean, faid I, thofe great flights of 
 birds that are perpetually hovering about the bridge, 
 ar.d fettling upon it from time to time ? I fee vultures, 
 harpies, ravens, cormorants, and among many other 
 feathered creatures, feveral little winged boys, that perch 
 in great numbers upon the middle arches. Thefe, faid 
 the genius, are envy, avarice, fuperftition, defpair, love, 
 v/ith the like cares and paflions that infeft human life. 
 
 13. I here fetched a deep figh : Alas, faid I, man 
 was made in vain! how is he given away to mifery and 
 mortality; tortured in life, and fwallowed up in death! 
 The genius being moved with companion towards me, 
 bid me quit fo uncomfortable a profped. Look no more, 
 laid he, on man in the firft ftage of his exiftence, in his 
 fetting cut for eternity ; but call thine eye on that thick 
 mill into which the tide bears the feveral generations of 
 mortals that fall into it. 
 
 14. I directed my fight as I was ordered, and (whe- 
 ther or no the good genius ftrengthened it with any fu- 
 pernatural force, or diflipated part of the mill that was 
 before too thick for the eye to penetrate) 1 faw the val- 
 ley opening at the farther end, and fpreading forth into 
 an immenfe ocean, that had a huge rock of adamant 
 running through the midft of it, and dividing it into two 
 equal parts. The clouds ftill refted on one half of it, 
 infomuch that I could difcover nothing in it, but the 
 other appeared to me a vaft ocean planted with innu- 
 merable illands, that were covered with fruits and 
 flowers, and interwoven with a thoufand little fm'ning 
 leas that ran among them. 
 
 1 5. T could fee perfons drefTed in glorious habits with 
 garlands upon their heads, puffing among the trees, ly- 
 ing
 
 AKD ENGLISH TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 319 
 
 ing down by the fules of fountains, or refting on beds of 
 flowers, and could hear a confufed harmony of Tinging 
 birds, falling waters, human voices, and mufical inftru- 
 rnents. GIadnefs grew in me at the difcovery of fo de- 
 lightful a fcene. 1 wifhed for the wings of an eagle, 
 that I might fly away to thofe happy feats ; but the ge- 
 nius told me there was no paffage to them, except 
 through the gates of death that I faw opening every 
 moment upon the bridge. 
 
 1 6. The iflands fa;d he, that lie fo frefh and green 
 before thee, and with which the whole face of the ocean 
 appears fpotted as far as thou canft fee, are more in 
 number than the fand on the fea-fhore ; there are my- 
 riads of iflands behind thefe which thou here difcover- 
 eft, reaching further than thine eye, or even thine ima- 
 gination can extend itfelf. Thefe are the manfions of 
 good men after death, who according to the degree and 
 kinds of virtue in which they excelled, are diftributed 
 among thefe feveral iflands, which abound with pleafures 
 of different kinds and degrees, fuitable to the relifhes and 
 perfections of thofe who are fettled in them; every ifland 
 is a paradife accommodated to its refpe&ive inhabitants. 
 
 17. Are not thefe, O Mirza, habitations worth con- 
 tending for? Does life appear miferable, that gives thee 
 opportunities of earning fuch a reward ? Is death to be 
 feared, that will convey thee to fo happy an exiftence? 
 Think not man was made in vain, who has fuch an eter- 
 nity referved for him. I gazed with inexpreflible plea- 
 fure on thefe happy iflands. At length, faid I, fliew me 
 now, I befeech thee, the fecrets that lie hid under thofe 
 dark clouds, which cover the ocean on the other fide of 
 the rock of adamant. 
 
 18. The genius making me no anfwer, I turned about 
 to addrefs myfejf to him a fecond time, but 1 found that 
 
 he
 
 3*0 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADy's MONITOR, 
 
 he had left me; I then turned ngain to the vifion which 
 I had been fo long contemplating ; but inftead of the 
 rolling tide, the arched bridge, and the happy iflands, I 
 faw nothing but the long hollow valley of Bagdat, with 
 oxen, flieep, and camels grazing upon the fiJes of it. 
 
 RICHES NOT PRODUCTIVE OF HAPPINESS; 
 THE STORY OF ORTOGRUL OF BASRA. 
 
 IDLER, NO. 99. 
 
 i.zVS Ortogrul of Bafra was one diy wandering along 
 the ftreets of Bagdat, mufing on the varieties of nierchan- 
 dife which the fliops offered to his view, and obferving 
 the different occupations which bufied the multitudes 
 on every fide, he was awakened Trom the tranquillity 
 of meditation by a crowd that obftrufted his paflage. 
 He raifed his eyes, and faw the chief Vizier, who hav- 
 ing returned from the Divan, was entering his palace. 
 
 2. Ortogrul mingled with the attendants, and being 
 fuppofed to, have fome petition for the Vizier, was per- 
 mitted to enter. He v furveyed the fpacioufnefs of the 
 apartments, admired the walls hung with golden tape- 
 ftry, and the floors covered with fUken carpets, and cle- 
 Ipifed the fimple neatnefs of his own little habitation. 
 
 3. Surely, laid he to himfelf, this palace is the feat 
 of h?ppinefs, where pleafure fucceeds to pleafure, and 
 difcontent and forrow can have no admiilion. Whatever 
 nature has provided for the delight of fcnfe, is here 
 fpread forth to be enjoyed. What can mortals hope or 
 imagine which the matter of this palace has not obtain- 
 ed ? The difhes of luxury cover his table, the voice of 
 harmony lulls him in his bowers ; he breathes the fra- 
 grance of the graves of Java, and deeps upon the down 
 of the cygnets of Ganges. He fpeaks, and his mandate is 
 
 obeyed ;
 
 AND EN M H TEACHERS ASSISTANT. JZI 
 
 obeyed ; he wiflies,and his wifh is gratified; all whom 
 he lees obey him j and all whom he hears flatter him. 
 4. How different, Ortogrul, is thy condition, who art 
 doomed to the perpetual torments of unfatisfied deGre, 
 and who haft no amufement in thy power that can with- 
 hold thee from thy own reflections ? They tell thee that 
 thou art wife, but what does wifdom avail with poverty ? 
 None will flatter the poor, and the wife have very little 
 power, of flattering themfelves. That man is furely 
 the moft wretched of the fons of wretchednefs, who 
 lives with his own faults and follies always before him, 
 and who has none to reconcile him to himfelf by praife 
 and veneration. I have long foughi content and have 
 not found it, I will from this moment endeavour to be 
 rich. 
 
 5. Full of this new refolution, he fhut himfelf in his 
 chamber for fix months, to deliberate how he fhould 
 grow rich; he fometimes propofed to offer himfelf as a 
 counfellor to one of the kings of India, and (ometimes 
 refolved to dig for diamonds in the mines of Golconda. 
 One day, after fome hours pafljbd in violent fluctuation 
 of opinion, fieep infenfibly feized him in his chair; he 
 dreamed that he was ranging a defert country in fearch 
 of fome one that might teach him to grow rich ; and as 
 he ftood on the top of a hill fliaded with cyprefs, in 
 doubt whither to direct his ileps, his father appeared 
 on a fudden Handing before hisn. 
 
 6. Ortogrul, faid the old man, I know thy perplexity 
 liften to thy father ; turn thine eye on the oppofite moun- 
 tain. Ortogrul looked, and faw a torrent tumbling down 
 the rocks, roaring with the noile of thunder, and fcat- 
 tering its foam on the impending woods. Now, faid 
 his father, behold the valley that lies between the hills. 
 
 7. Ortogrul
 
 322 THE GENTLEMAN AND LADY's MONITOR, 
 
 7. Ortogrul looked and efpied a little well, out of 
 which iflued a fmall rivulet. Tell me, now, laid his 
 father, doft thou w\(h for fudden affluence, that may 
 pour upon thee like the mountain torrent, or for a flow 
 and gradual encreafe, refembling the rill gliding from 
 the well ? Let me be quickly rich, faid Ortogral j let 
 the golden ftreatn be quick and violent. 
 
 8. Look round thee, faid his father, once again. Or- 
 togrul looked, and perceived the channel of -the torrent 
 dry and dufty ; but following the rivulet from the well, 
 he traced it to a wide lake, which the fupply, flow and 
 conftant, kept always full. He waked, and determined 
 to grow rich by filent profit, and perfevering induftry. 
 
 9. Having fold his patrimony, he engaged in mer- 
 chandife, and in twenty years purchafed lands, en which 
 he raifed a houfe, equal in fumptuoufnefs to that of the 
 Vizier, to which he invited all the minifters of pleafure, 
 expecting to enjoy all the felicity which he had imagined 
 riches able to afford. Leifure foon made him weary of 
 himfelf, and he longed to be perfuaded that he was great 
 and happy. He was courteous and liberal ; he gave all 
 that approached him hopes of pleafmg him, and all who 
 fhould pleafe him hopes of being rewarded. Every art 
 of praife was tried, and every fource of adulatpry fiction 
 vas exhaufted. 
 
 10. Ortogrul heard his flatterers without delight, be- 
 caufe he found himfelf unable to believe them. His own 
 heart told him its frailties, his own underftanding re- 
 proached him with his fault*. How long, faid he, with 
 a deep figh, have I been labouring in vain to amafs 
 wealth which at laft is ufelefs ! Let no man hereafter 
 wifh to be rich, who is already too wife to be flattered.
 
 A CATALOGUE OF ENGLISH BOOKS, &c. 
 
 fRINCIPALLY FOR THE USE OF SCHOOLS, SOLD BY 
 
 WILLIAM MAGEE, 
 
 NO. 9, BRIDGE-STREET/ BELFAST. 
 
 MANSON's, Fenning's, Dilworth's, Emick's, Dyche's, 
 
 and Clarke's Spelling Books. 
 Manfon*s Primer. 
 Manfon's Spelling and Pronouncing Dictionary, a new 
 
 Edition, according to Mr. Sheridan's Pronunciation. 
 Entick's, Dyche's, Fennifig's, Sheridan's, Seally's, Scott's, 
 
 and Johnfon's Dictionary. 
 The Lillipution Magazine; or, the young Gentleman's 
 
 Golden Library. 
 
 The Hiftory of Sandford and Merton A Work in- 
 tended tor the ufe of Children, in 3 vols. 
 The Preceptor ; or, leflbns for reading, fpeaking, and 
 
 writing letters. 
 
 A collection of Ealtern Stories, and other Moral Tales. 
 Louth's Englifh Grammar. 
 Afhe's Introduction to do. 
 The Youth's InftruCtor, in profe and verfe. 
 The Arcana of Polite Literature ; or, a Compendious 
 
 Dictionary of Fabulous Hiftory. 
 Paradile Loft, in twelve books, by Milton. \ 
 The Governefs ; or, the hiftory of Mrs. Teachum and 
 
 her nine Girls. 
 The Speaker ; or, Miscellaneous pieces in profe and 
 
 verfe, felecl-d from the beft Englifh Writers br 
 
 W. Enfield, L. L. D. in 2 vols. 
 Lefibns on Elocution, in profe anJ verfe, by Wm. Scott. 
 Elegant' Extrads j or. ulet'ul and entertaining paiLtges 
 
 in prole, feleCted for the improvement of Scholars, 
 
 at claflical and otiicr Schools. 
 Elegant Extracts ; or, uteful and entertaining pieces of 
 
 Poetry, feleCted for the improvement of Youth.
 
 A CATALOGUE, &C. 
 
 Goldfmith's Roman Hiftory, 2 vols.- 
 
 Grecian Hiftory, 2 vols. 
 
 Hiftory of England, 4 vols. 
 
 Ditto, in i vol. 
 
 Penning on the Globes. 
 
 Guthrie's Geography, bed edition, and complete fet of 
 
 Maps. 
 
 Gazetteer. 
 
 Salmon's and Mair's Geography. 
 
 Fergufon's Young Gentleman and Ladies Aftronomy, 
 
 Emerfon's and Keil's Allronomy, 
 
 Emerfon's Mathematicks. 
 
 1 Mechanicks. 
 
 Hawney's Menfuration. 
 
 Simpfbn's and Whifton's Euclid. 
 
 M'Claurin's, Simpfon's, Sanderfon's, and Emerfon's 
 
 Algebra. 
 
 Leadbeatter on Dialing. 
 Ward's Mathematicks. 
 Simpfon's and Wright's Trigonometry. 
 Gibfon's Surveying. 
 Rallard's Guaging. 
 Gough's, Fiflier's, Hill's, Cocker's, Dowling's, DIN 
 
 Nworth's, Emerfon's, Voder's, and Fenning's Arith- 
 
 metick. 
 
 Muller and Vauban's Fortification. 
 Mair's, Jackfon's, Dowling*s, and Stevenfon's Book- 
 keeping. 
 Greek Lexicons, Latin and French Dictionaries and 
 
 Grammars, with all the Latin, Greek, and French 
 
 Authors, &c. ufed in Schools. 
 Gunter's Scales and Dividers. 
 Sea Charts and Maps, &c. &c.
 
 //
 
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