9 
 
 /tich 
 The Spirit of Contradiction
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD 
 ENDOWMENT FUND
 
 THE 
 
 SPIRIT 
 
 O F 
 
 CONTRADICTION 
 
 A NEW COMEDY of Two A els, 
 
 As it Is Afted at the 
 
 Tn F AT R E-Ro v A L in 
 
 Hoc f'o/o, fee yubeo, Jit fro Rations fs/untas. JUVEM. 
 
 By a GENTLEMAN of Cambridge. 
 
 DUBLIN: 
 
 Printed for G. FAULKNER, O. NELSON, P. WILSON, 
 J. EXSHAW, R. WATTS, W. SLEATKR, L. FI.IN, 
 J. HOEY, Jun. W. SMITH, Jun. and J. POTTS, 
 Bookfellers. M DCC LX.
 
 &'.: 43 
 
 PROLOGUE. 
 
 *Yr incited to an humble Treat ; 
 So take font Grace, 'where there s but little Meal. 
 We crrjiuii tht Board ivitb no luxurious Meal ; 
 A trifling Di/h ; a 'Very Bagatelle :' I'.C 1 
 
 ''/V j I'eafonJ high ; but that's a modijb Fault ; 
 Toull find it pepper (I tho it ivants the Salt. 
 No fqueamijb Stomach ivill be here opprefitt } 
 T/jefe light Re fa/Is all Appetites digeft. 
 Cri ticks, refer<ve your Rules for pompous Feajls ; 
 We treat you as good-naturd, friendly Guejis. 
 Tho' Jkort the Bill of Fare, it fioeet will prove ; 
 Mirth is the Banquet, and the Defert Lov e. 
 We'll ferve it in. Tou re. ready, by y-ytr Looks ; 
 lajle inhere you pleafe, but do not cur fey our Cooks. 
 
 ;*%,?^S 
 E P I L O G U E 
 
 Spoken by Mrs. W A R D. 
 Who tlays the diameter of Mrs. Parti 
 
 BE Witnefs all bniu cruelly I'm ns\l, 
 Hoiu Patience in poor Women is abus'd ! 
 Not Hufband, Daughter, Friend, or Servant true : 
 My lafl Hope, Gentlemen, remains in you, 
 Surely you 'will not contradift me too.
 
 EPILOGUE. 
 
 Ladies, J knoiv yiull take the injured Part j 
 Diftrefs luill aliuays reach the tender Heart. 
 Kay, feme tvil! Jurely make the Caufe their oixin ; 
 There are, I truft, more Partlets here than One. 
 
 In tivo jlcrt Words all Wife/hood's under flood ; 
 In thofe that do (ontroul, and thofe that wou'd. 
 Well fare the frji ; and let the humble Fool, 
 Defpij'e her Vows, and come to me to School. 
 
 The Wives are ivith me ; and tuhat Maid, 7 ivondex 
 But hopes, one of thefe Days, to keep a Hitfland under. 
 
 Ton Hit/lands that are tittering yonder, Mum ; 
 'Tdu think rue copy d frrjin your Piece at Home. 
 Each good-man finds the Character fo pat, 
 There's no ferfunding but his Juno fat. 
 
 Some fancy Cit, or, pojjilly, fame Peer, > 
 
 May, by arid by, at Supper, fay My Deer> > 
 
 Have we, of late, had any Poet here ? j 
 
 Not fo, thofe Gallery Friends I yonder fpy, 
 Sitting demurely, 'with their Partlets by j 
 They, at the Cootie Scene, *woud burjl ivith Laughter^. 
 Did they not fear, poor Souls, that Tragedy d come after, 
 Peace, peace, your Silence ive accept as Praife ; 
 AJleeping Hornet ivbo ivou'd nviflj to. raife ? 
 Pity your Ears Jhou'd fujfer for your Zeal-, 
 
 Smile you, 'who dare not clap, 'twill do as well. 
 
 Grant all one Boon, and fpare the Bard's Affiirfrin. 
 Let we, alone, fojfefi The Spirit of Contradicti...'p 
 
 A DIALOGUE
 
 &-r 
 
 A' 
 
 D i A L o G u E; 
 
 Originally defigned to be fung by thi 
 TWO LOVERS. 
 
 /.sv.T Y 7HILE my Charmer feem'd unkind, 
 VV What Defpair poflefs'd my Mind ! 
 How cou'd you, my deareft, fo grieve me r 
 
 Har. When I wept, and vow'd, and pray'd ; 
 
 When -I wifli'd to die a Maid ; 
 Was you fuch a Fool to believe me ? 
 
 Lov. Can you marvel at my Pain, 
 
 When your Lips were all Diickin ; 
 All Hopes to my Paffion denying ? 
 
 Har. Had you loolc'd but in my Eyes, 
 
 You had found the faint Difguife ; 
 And had feen my fond Heart complying. 
 
 Ls<v. How grateful the Harbour, when Tempefls have 
 
 tofs'd ! 
 fl.tr. True Love grows the ftronger-, the more it is 
 
 crofs'd. 
 
 Lev. C His Cares all over, 
 Har. \ May every Lover 
 
 Both. Of Merit, and Truth, and foft Ardour poffjfl, 
 Be kindly deceiv'd, and as bounteoufly bleft ! 
 
 Hrs Cares all over, 
 May every Lover,- &c 
 
 A-3 Dramatis
 
 Dramatis Perfonse, 
 
 M E N, 
 
 Mr. Partlet, a Country Gentle- 
 man, Father to Harriet, 
 
 Lovcwel, an Officer in the Army ) , ^ Clarke 
 in Love with Harriet, 1 
 
 Steer, a Gentleman Grazier, in 1 ... pruKo 
 
 / ITT- f IVlft vJiDDS, 
 
 .ave with Harriet, i 
 
 Randal, Partlet'^ Gardiner, Mr. Shuter. 
 Ruin, a Lawyer, Mr. Perry. 
 
 W O M E N. 
 
 Mrs. Partlet, PPife to Partlet, Mn. Ward. 
 
 Mifs Harriet, Mifs Mowatt. j 
 
 Betty, their Servant, Mrs. Green. ^ 
 
 
 SCENE, PartletVGflr^ ^/ b'uCwntry 
 
 Houfi.
 
 T H R 
 
 SPIRIT of Contradiction 
 
 ACT I. SCENE 1. 
 
 SCENE, Panlefs Garden. 
 
 Enter Randal, wx'd ; a Spade in his Huad. 
 
 r ' v Rand. \ PLAGUE, and a double Plague, upoa* 
 /\ all perverfe Miftrefles, fay I ! May the 
 black Blight take her ! By the Lord Hany, a poor 
 ') Man had better live in Hell, than in Zervice } there he- 
 is quit for one Zort of Vexation, here ch'ave a Thoufand. 
 
 Enter Partlet. 
 
 Part. Hey, hey! What, talking to thyfelf, Randal! 
 "Why, what, art thou polfe&'d, Man ? 
 
 Ramt.
 
 8 The Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 Rand. Truly ch'am, Meifter ; arid with one of die 
 moft mifchievous Zort of Spirits too. 
 
 Part. Which is that, pr'ythee ? 
 
 Rand. Nay, a vemale one. '. By the Welkin, a thou- 
 fand Moles do not make fo much wafte in a Garden, as 
 one Woman 
 
 Part. Why, who is it that has been plaguing thee ? 
 
 Rand. Who? ihe who. plagues everybody, and her- 
 felf too. Can any body bear to have a Tulip taken vor 
 an Onion ? 
 
 Part. So, my Wife has been with you, I find. Good 
 Randal, you muft have Patience with her. 
 
 Rand. Patience ! Why, ihe order'd me, Yefterday, 
 to graft a Peach upon a Cabbsge-ftalk, and laid 'twas 
 the Italian Method. Shortly flie'll expect Colly-vlowers 
 vrom Turnip-zeed, and Parfley to produce Strawberries. 
 I marvel Ihe does not order Nectarines to be zown in 
 Hotbeds, that they may grow as big as Melons. 
 
 Part. 'Tis her way ; but you muft bear with her 
 Humour. 
 
 Rand. Oons, Zir, who- can bear with zuch Contra-' 
 
 Part. Contradiction is natural to her, Randal; ihe- 
 contradicts me, and all of us. 
 
 Rand. Marry, it may be natural to contradict you, be- 
 caufe you are her Hufband ; but zure, Zir, it cannot 
 be natural to contradict Nature. 
 
 Part. It was merely in Contradiction to her Friends, 
 that, about twenty Years ago I got PolTeiFion of her 
 Hand ; and then, in Contradiction to me, flie, the 
 fame Night, deny'd me that of her Perfon. 
 
 Rand. Blefs us ! you did prevail tho'. 
 
 Part. Ay, by Contradiction, or I muft elfe have gon 
 without her. I pretended, on a Hidden, a moft viole 
 Antipathy, and made a iham Vow never to touch her 
 while I brer.th'd fte underftood this, and in pure Spite 
 came to bed to me. 
 
 Rand. Laud, what a Spirit fhe has ! And yet y 
 
 Meiiter, if you were to exert the Hufband a littb 
 
 Part, Why, Randal) I love my Wife : Her only Sa- 
 
 tisradba- 
 
 er- 
 
 !
 
 Tie Spin! of Contradiction. g 
 
 tisfa&ion is to do every Thing directly contrary to mine ; 
 and I indulge her in her Humour for Peace fake j other- 
 wife, fhe is both prudent and virtuous. 
 
 Rand. In troth, Zir, you are zafe enough, upon that 
 ?core. She is too much a Wafp vor the Vlies to follow 
 her. 
 
 Part. Well, well, no more of this. I came hither, Ran- 
 
 tlal, to confult thee upon a very weighty Affair. I have, 
 of late, approv'd Ay Judgment in fe 
 and intend to make thee my Confident. 
 
 md. Why, Meiller, all my Knowledge does not con- 
 fid in planting Cabbages. Che Imd all my C;u< 
 by Heart bevore che was i'xteen.' And but that my Un- 
 cle the Parfbn,. one Lent, took Zurfeit and dy'd, he had 
 promis'd to make me a great SchoJard. 
 
 Part. Why thou may Ml be one yet. Thou wilt not 
 be the firft Philofopher that has come out of a Garden. 
 
 Rank. True, Meiiter ! But what is your weighty Af- 
 fair with me ? 
 
 Part. Why, it is concerning my Daughter. I think 
 fhe is now tarn'd of Eighteen. 
 
 Rand. Ay, and a zweet Pofey fhe is, vor the heft Gen- 
 tleman in the Land to wear next his Heart. 
 
 Part. The Girl is pafTable enough. She is my only 
 Child, and I have a Mind to lee her well married. 
 
 Rand. It is an holy Purpofe, and che dare zay, Mils 
 Harriet will join in it. 
 
 Part. The poor Thing is all Obedience. The only 
 Difficulty will be in gaining my Wife's Con fen t. 
 
 Rand. You are right the^e, vaith Meiller : Vor, if 
 Madam takes it in her Head, that you are for planting 
 your Daughter into the Bed of Matrimony, ihe will be 
 '.for Itocking her up, and letting her die in Virginity. 
 
 Part. That's my Fear. You have heard, perhaps, 
 that I have had a Propofal from two Parties. The one 
 is a Gentleman of the Army, every way worthy of her, 
 I confefs, but whofe Fortune is in Expectancy ; the 
 other is our Neighbour Steer, the Grazier, not quite fa 
 
 young
 
 jo *Tbe Spirit of C>ntradil on. 
 
 young indeed, nor fo well bred as the other, but exceed- 
 ing wealthy. 
 
 Rand. In troth, Meifter, my Choice fliould go along 
 with the Acres : My young Miftrefs is not worth a 
 Vig vor a long March. 
 
 Part. Why, that is my Choice too, The firft can- 
 fettle no Land but what lies in the Field of Honour ; 'tis 
 an Eftate of a precarious Tenure. 
 
 Rand. Ay, believe me, a Yield of Clover is worth a 
 
 hundred of it. But who is that turning out of 
 
 the Vilbert Walk? 
 
 Part: Zooks, 'tis my Wife ! I'll ftep into 
 
 yon Arbour ; and, d'you hear, -Randal, make up yoxir 
 Quarrel with her on any Terms ; for I have great need 
 ofthee at this Time. [Exit. 
 
 Rand. Ch'il do my beft Endeavour. 
 
 [Grates his Spade, andfmgs. 
 
 A Gardner is a noble Trade ; 
 Na Arms fo nntient as the Spade' : 
 T&o" Kings, ivith Titles, make a Stir, 
 Their Grandfire ivas a Gardener. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Partlet. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Ceafe this Merriment, pray. Lefs Noife, 
 and more Work, would fpealc you a better Servant. 
 Was not that my Hatband you were talking to juit 
 now ? 
 
 Rand. Yes, Madam. Che was afking my Meifter a 
 few Queftions. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Queftions ! What Bus'nefs have you to aflc 
 Queftions, or he to anfwer them ? I. thought I had to 
 you, it was from me only you were to take Direction 
 But you are a very, a very Hypocrite, Sirrah! Wh 
 you have been wheedling and colloguing with him, have 
 you ! You have taken him for your Protector ! But you 
 kall both find your Miftakes. Out of my Doors yo 
 feall go, the Moment your Time's up. 
 
 Raxd, I bezeech you, Madam 
 
 .,.; 
 1
 
 The Spirit of Contradiction. j i 
 
 Mrs. Part. Yes, yes, you lay your wile Heads toge- 
 ther to thwart and contradift me: You are his Advifer, 
 his Counfellor, forfooth. He laid the other Day that his 
 Gardener had good Notions. A fine Age, truly, when 
 fuch Fellows as you lhall pretend to have Notions ! 
 
 Rand. Che only beg, Madam 
 
 Mrs. Part. Your begging will be in vain ; for I am 
 refolv'd you lhall go. Nay, I know not what hinders me 
 from turning you away this very Inftant. 
 
 Rand. W hy, that's my Requeft to yo\h> Madam ; if 
 you wouM but hear a body. 
 
 Mrs. Part. And what is your Requeft, I pray ? 
 
 Rand. That you wou'd be pleafed to difcharge me this 
 Inftant. My Lady E<ver-green wanes a Gard'ner, and has 
 fent this Morning to hire me, and Meifter has given his 
 Content to let me go. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Your Mailer has given his Confent to let 
 you go ! Fine Doings, truly ! And fo I am to be left with- 
 out a Gardener ! Was ever Patience fo abus'd ! But you 
 fhall none of you have your Wills. I fav you lhall not go 
 this Week: Nay, perhaps you (hall not go at all, fmce 
 you are fo hafty. 
 
 Rand. Madam, my Lady Ever-green will give me 
 vorty Shillings a Year more. 
 
 Mrs. Part. W r ell, and are not my forty Shillings a Year 
 as good as my Lady Evcr-grcens ? 
 
 Rand. Yes, Madam : But then your Temper, an't 
 .plcafe you 
 
 Mrs. Part. Blefs me! I am a terrible Bugbear! Every 
 body harping upon my Temper; when, I vow to Hea- 
 ven, there is not ib mild, or fo realbnable a Perfon in the 
 whole Country. 
 
 Rand. But what every Body '/.ays, Madam 
 
 Mrs. Part. Every Body is a Liar, and none but Fools 
 
 lieve every body. But no more ; you lhall itay at leaft 
 till my Daughter's Marriage is over. 
 
 Rand. And is Mils Harriet to be married r.oon ? 
 
 Mr 3. Part. What's that to you? Maybe, ay j May 
 be, no ; jutt as I lhall think proper. Pray what is your 
 judgment upon the Matter ? 
 
 Rand.
 
 i 2 The Sp;rit of Contradiction. 
 
 . Rand. My Judgment, you know, Madam, you never 
 regarded. Ifche zet any Thing in the Zun, you always 
 , move it into tHe Zhade. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Come, come, your Opinion and my Huf- 
 band's, I fuppofe, are the fame. Which of the two Par- 
 ties has his Voice ? 
 
 Rand. Madam, there wants a new Handle to the 
 Scythe. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Anfwer me, I fay, to my Queftion. 
 
 Rand. Ods my Life ! how forgetful I am ! You or- 
 der'd the upper Ground to be zown with Parfnips j ch'il 
 go and prepare it this Intlant. [Exit. 
 
 Mrs. Part. This is a fecret and a fubtil Knave 1 My 
 Huiband has certainly made his Choice, and, if, poifible, 
 I muft difcover which Way he is inclin'd. My Daughter . 
 too, I fuppofe, has fettled her foolifh Affe&ion. But I'll 
 balk 'em both, or I'm not Mrs. Partlet. 
 
 Enter Harriet and Betty. 
 
 Oh, are you come, Daughter! Walk off, Minx. We 
 don't want your Company. {Exit Betty. 
 
 Hat: Pray, Madam, what is your pleafure with me. 
 this Morning ? 
 
 Mrs. Part. When you have done your prating, Daugh- 
 ter, I'll tell you. 
 
 Har. I wait your Commands, Madam. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Why, I mult tell you then, that J am 
 much deceiv'd in you : I took you to be of a meek, 
 plain-meaning Temper, like my own ; but I find you 
 to be a fly- dilTembling Huffy : Your Father's Spirit, 
 exactly ! . / 
 
 Har. Pray, Madam, let me know in what I have/$j 
 offended ? 
 
 Mrs. Part. Nay, 'tis my Fault ; I am only too good 
 and too indulgent, that's all : But I'll put it to you for * 
 the laft time. Be fincere with me, once in your Life, 
 and tell .me, whether you have a Mind to be married, 
 or not ? 
 
 Har. I have already told you, Madam, that whilft 
 
 my
 
 The Spirit of C 
 
 my Parents are living, I ought to have no Will of mf 
 own. 
 
 Mrs. Part. But you muft own you have one, not- 
 vvithtlanding. Lookye, my Dear, all that I feek. is your 
 Satisfaction ; therefore open your whole Heart to me 
 
 without Refer ve. Do you think that Matrimony can 
 
 make a young Woman happy ? 
 
 Har. There are fome Women, Madam, who think it 
 the happieft of States ; as, indeed, there are others who 
 find it the molt miferable. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Oh! then "you utterly difclaim Marriage? 
 
 Har. I don't fay fo neither, Madam. 
 
 Mrs. Part. What 'do yon fay then? Pr'ythee explain 
 youtfelf. You mult look upon it a^ a good or a bad 
 Thing; either to be coveted or avoided. 
 
 Hfir. Madam, I neither wifti it, nor fear it ; 'tis a 
 Subjecl I have thought but very {lightly on. The Ar- 
 
 rmcnt.s for and againft feem to me pretty near equal ; 
 that I am as yet wholly indifferent. 
 
 Mrs. Part. 'Tis that Indifference oiftracts me, Hufly. 
 You have too much Senfc to continue in fo foolilh a 
 State. 
 
 Har. I prefume, Madam, it is the State a Daughter 
 ought to continue in, that (he may fubmit the more 
 cheerfully to a Mother's Determination 
 
 Mrs. Part. Suppofe I was to determine you a Huf- 
 band : 
 
 Il.ir. In fuch a Cafe, the Reafons for Marriage would 
 appear to U;e the ftrongett. 
 
 Mrs. Fiirt. Why fo, pray ? 
 
 77-7;-. I'ec.uiic my Dmy to you wou'J oblige me to 
 forget thole which are againlt it. 
 
 Mrs Part. What if I were to determine you to remain 
 ffmgle ? 
 
 Har. Then, Madam, the Reafons againlt Mirriage, 
 only Ihou'd be hearken'd to. 
 
 Mrs. Part. What Shifts and E/afions are here! Blefs 
 me ! I ftall lofe all my Patience ! Shall it be faid then 
 that I am unable to penetrate your true Indinatio.i ? 
 
 B Har,
 
 J4 *T'be Spirit of Cot> tradition. 
 
 Har. My Inclination, Madam, is to be directed wholly 
 by yours. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Was there ever fuch Obftinacy ! perpetually 
 contradicting me ! 
 
 Har. Can a blind Submifiion to your Will be term'd 
 Contradiction ? 
 
 Mrs. Part. Yes, yes } k is, it is ! For I wou'd have 
 you have a Will of your own, and you are pleas'd not to 
 have one. 
 
 Har. But, Madam 
 
 Mrs. Part. Oh, I can bear it no longer ! Hold your 
 Tongue, do. Here again it will be laid that I am in the 
 wrong, I warrant. But 'tis yours that may be truly cali'd 
 a Spirit of Contradiction. I am not able to live under 
 the fame Roof with you. Such a Slut as you is a perfect 
 PtirL'ence in a Family. I'll get rid of you, I am refolv'd. 
 Ye.-;, Mils, I'll marry you this very Day. There are two 
 Offers made, and I'll accept of one of them. Don't think 
 I intend to give you your Choice, no j you fhall take him 
 whom I approve of. I'll juft Hep in and talk with your 
 Father. If his Notions are reafonable, and agree with 
 mine, well ; if not, I know my Meafures. [Exit, 
 
 Har. Under what Cor.ftraint am I forc'd to live ! tho' 
 naturally artlefs and fmcere, yet am I oblig'd to counter- 
 feit with all the World. My prefent Situation requires 
 : .: 5 for who can I confide in ? Ha, Loveive! return'd ! 
 Alas, he is one with whom, I confers, I have much ado 
 to diflembie. 
 
 'Enter Lovewel. 
 
 1 imagin'd you were on your Journey, Mr. La-i-ewef. 
 
 Lo<u. No, Madam, I am come to tell you, in fhort, 
 that I am weary of being made a Fool of, and that I am 
 relolved not to fee London till you have finally explain'd 
 yourklf to me. 
 
 Hnr. Good, angry Sir, what is it difcompofes you ? 
 
 Lo-^-e. Your Behaviour, Madam, has driven me beyond 
 all Patience. Have I not danc'd Attendance after you 
 near two Years, when neither my Love, Prayers, or 
 
 Intreaties
 
 The Spirit of Contfiulifton. 15 
 
 Intreatfes have been able to draw from you one Word 
 upon which I might depend, either for Happinefs or 
 Milery ? And when I fpoke to you of the trueft and 
 moft violent PaiTion that ever touch'd the Heart of Man, 
 you hear me with a Calrnneia and Infenfibility, which it 
 is impoilible to comprehend. 
 
 liar. And I wou'd have it ilill impoflible. 
 
 Love. Surely, Madam, you might difcover either Ap- 
 probation or Diflike. Something from whence I might 
 know my Fate. 
 
 Har. You ought to know that I am prudent, and nothing 
 farther. The Happinefs of my Life depends upon my 
 being, at this time, impenetrable to your Curiofity." 
 
 Love. Make but that appear, and I lhall be fatisfied. 
 
 Har. I thought you already knew that, in confequence 
 of a certain Scheme 1 have form'd to fecure my future 
 Welfare ; it is neceflary that my Mother, and even my 
 Father, Ihou'd be in the dark, whether it is you whom 
 I love or another : It is requifite therefore that you alfo- 
 be kept ignorant of my real Affection. 
 
 Love. Wherefore muft I ? 
 
 Hat: Becaufe if you were once acquainted with it, my 
 Father, Mother, and every one who obferv'd you, would 
 fbon be in the Secret. 
 
 Love. Do you judge me fo indifcreet, when all my 
 Happinefs is depending ? 
 
 Har. No, but the natural Violence of your Temper 
 wou'd perform the Part of Indifcretion. 
 
 Low. [Compofedly.] Believe me, Madam, I know how 
 to moderate that Violence : And I proteft to you that one 
 Word of Explanation, one fingle Word from thole <icnr 
 Lips, fhall render me as calm and compos'd as youritlf. 
 
 Htir. Suppofe that Word was, That I rttblv'd never 
 to be yours. 
 
 Low. \Paflionately.'} Death and Con fu (ion ! what do 
 you mean, Madam ? By all that's facred 
 
 Har. I perceive, indeed, you are moft wonderfully 
 compos'd. Pray, would you be any more ,ib were I to 
 make a Vow never to be another's ? 
 
 B z Leve.
 
 1 6 'The Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 Ltn-e. O tranfporting Thought ! My deareft Harriet, 
 that would bejiind iadeed. The bleft Idea would banifh 
 ail Despair, and give new Strength to my declining Hopes ; 
 niy Joy wou'd be fo abundantly full 
 
 Har. Yes, fo full that it wou'd run over to all you 
 meet. Thus it is, that your extravagant Tranfports, 
 either of Joy or Defpair, would undoubtedly divulge 
 what it is my Bufinefs to conceal : For the Moment my 
 Mother cou'd be fure whereon my Happinefs was plac'd, 
 fhe wou'd moil certainly overturn it. Admit, therefore, 
 for the prefent, I keep you wholly ignorant of my 
 figns. 
 
 Love. No, ungrateful One, this is too much ; far 
 know, that I am not ignorant of your Defigns : I have 
 had Information, Madam, that you are this Day to be 
 ir.arry'd to Mr. Steer. 
 
 Har. Perhaps it may be true, what then ? 
 
 Lo*ve. It was that brought me hither fo fuddenly. 
 
 Har. And let fomething as fuddenly take you back 
 again. 
 
 Lo<ve. I now fee thro' all your little Artifices. Ycu 
 know I am fomewhat in your Mother's Favour, and 
 therefore held fair with me left my Refentment ihou'd 
 make ufe of her to hinder your Marriage. 
 
 Har. Hinder it, Sir ! Indeed I efteem you too gallant 
 a Man, to hinder a Settlement fb much to my Advan- 
 tage. 
 
 Love. [Languidly.'] No, cruel One, you need not 
 fear it. If you can be happier with another I will add to 
 your Joys by bidding you eternally farewel. 
 
 Har. Lookye, MY Loveivel, you may traverfr my f 
 Intentions a little; but if it be true that you have no A 
 Place in my Heart, you will never gain one by chagriningjH 
 me. Do therefore as I advife, be feen to-day by neithen!^ 
 my Father or Mother ; I even order you not to appear * 
 here. If you have any Regard for me, depart this 
 Inftant. 
 
 Lot'e. You know I irmft obey you ; but if you deceive 
 
 me, Harriet 
 
 Har. 

 
 I 
 
 The Spirit of Contradiction. 17 
 
 Hnr. As I promife nothing, there is no danger of your 
 being deceiv'd. 
 
 Love- Unkind Harriet ! Is it pofiible ? 
 
 Hat: Pray, no njore. There's my Father coming J 
 Be gone this Inftant ; -Ay, I lay. Exit LoveweL 
 
 Enter Partlet. 
 
 Part. Where are you, Daughter? Come, and rejoice 
 with me, my Girl. I am not able to contain myfelf, I 
 lhall even bur ft with Joy. 
 
 Har. May I know the Occafion of it, Sir ? 
 
 Part. The Day is our own, I tell you, the Day is our 1 
 Own ! Your Mother and I are agreed, my Girl ! and every 
 thing is to be exa&ly-as I wou'd have it. 
 
 Har. Pardon me, Sir, if I doubt that* 
 
 Part. 'Tis true, I fay, ihe has been making the Pro-- 
 pofal to me herfelf, and I have feign'd not to approve of 
 it in order to confirm her in her Refolution. 
 
 Har. Nay, if the Propolal corner from her, th Exe- 
 cution will foon follow. 
 
 Part. Yes, Child, the great Riches of our Neighbour 
 Steer havetaken with your Mother as well as with me. In 
 effect, a wealthy Grazier ic no fuchdefpicablc Offer. V/hal 
 if he does not bow quite fo genteely as fbme of your Fop- 
 Imgs who frequent your Balk and Alfeinblies ? he is weal- 
 thy, my Girl, and I warrant will love tliee. 
 
 Har. Two very er , nging Qualities indeed, Sir. 
 
 Part, His Behaviour is, perhaps, a little more unpo- 
 lifh'd than one vvou'd wifh it -, but then there is no Deceit 
 in him. 
 
 Har. His Sincerity, Sir, will make amends for that" 
 Defect. 
 
 Part. He is thought, indeed, by fome, to want Scnfe. 
 
 Har. A very good Circumitance, that, Sir ! For if 
 he is without Senfe himfelf, he won't difcover the Want of 
 it in me. 
 
 Part. Nay, raiilake me not, he is no Fool neither. 
 He only wants to be broke of a Cuftom lie has got of 
 talking too ir.uch in the Phrafc of his Profellion. Zooiis, 
 here he comes. 
 
 B 3
 
 i 8 7/k , i> it of Contradiction. 
 
 Enter Steer. 
 
 Steer. Good-morrow, good-morrow, Neighbour; I 
 crofs'd the Meadows this Morning purety to take your 
 Judgment upon my new Waftecoat here. I had it made 
 on purpofe to be ruarry'd in. 
 
 Part., Why, I think it a moft magnificent one. 
 
 Steer. Ay, is nt it ? 1 think to wear it on niy Wedding- 
 day, and then lay it up* you muft know, in cafe it fliou'd 
 come into the King's Head to prick me for Sheriff. 
 
 Part. It is no bad Contrivance. 
 
 Steer: Ay, ay, tho' I lay it, let Bat. Steer alone for 
 
 Contrivance, ha, ha. 1 can't help laughing to think 
 
 what Ikring there will be in SmitbfeLl to fee me bedizeh'd 
 thus. 
 
 Part. You are well known there, 'tis like. 
 
 Steer. Known! why, I have us'd the Old Ram 
 
 ay, let me fee 'tis now upwards of Twenty Years fince 
 I firft us'd the Old Ram. Knawn ! why, Man, Bartho- 
 lomew Steer is as well known in Smithfiela'zs Bartholomews 
 Hofpital. 
 
 Part. I believe, Sir, my Daughter there, has efcap'd 
 your Notice. 
 
 Steer. 'No, no, I have caft a Sheep's Eye at her, and 
 will be about her prefcntly : She's a good-like Lufs, 'faith, 
 in right order, and fit to ftart for the Wedding-Plate. 
 Come hither, my Girl j how long will it be before you 
 arid I have a Tumble together? 
 
 Har. A Tumble, Sir, I don't underftand you. 
 
 Part. Things are not ripe enough yet, Neighbour. 
 
 Steer. Ripe ! Ay, marry, but they be ripe as a Cherry, j I 
 
 Part. Ay, but I mean Matters are not agreed upon, IJ3 
 between us. 
 
 Steer. No ? WeH then let's agree them. And, do you 
 hear, Wife, that is to be, in the mean time do you fit 
 
 yourfelf with a Ring. Take the biggeft, the biggeft, 
 
 you Fool, you. 
 
 Har. Iprefume, Sir, there are fome previous Ceremo- 
 nies neceflary to be fettled, firft ? 
 
 Steer.
 
 The Spirit of Contradiction. 19 
 
 Steer. Previous ! What's previous ? 
 
 Part. Ay, ay, Neighbour, we inuft deliberate a little. 
 
 Steer. Muft we ? come then, let's deliberate. 
 
 Har. Well then, and while you are deliberating. 
 Gentlemen, I believe it will be bert for me to keep near 
 my Mother, left fhe ihould come and interrupt you. 
 
 Part. Do fo, Girl, and if you meet Randal in your 
 Way, tell him, I would fpeak with him. 
 
 Har. I fhall Sir. [Exit. 
 
 Steer. Well, but now, Neighbour, not to lofe Time, 
 let us fpeak to the Affair in hand. What Fortune do you 
 propofe ro give me, lliould I accept of your Daughter ? 
 
 Part. Lookye, Mr. Steer, whatever Sum I intend to 
 give with her, I expect to have it doubled, and fettled, 
 upon her Children. 
 
 Steer. And thefe are the Conditions ? 
 
 Part. The very Conditions. 
 
 Steer. Well then, to fhew you I hate haggling, gfve. 
 me your Hand, and if I crofs it, 'tis a Bargain. 
 
 Part. There. [Giving his Hand. 
 
 Steer. There, 'tis a Bargain. This is our Method in 
 Smitbjield. I have bought a hundred Head of Cattle in 
 as fliort a Time. 
 
 Part. Good. And here comes Randal, moft oppor- 
 tunely, to be a Witnefs of it. 
 
 Enter Randal. 
 
 Well, Randal, have you confider'd of the Affair I fpoke. 
 to you of? 
 
 Rand. Yes, Zir. And I have a Queflion or two to alk 
 bevore I can give you my Opinion. 
 
 Part. Alk 'em. 
 
 Rand. Does this Gentleman love ycur Daughter..? 
 
 Steer. Hugely. 
 
 RanJ. And does flie like him ? 
 
 Steer. Mightily, mightily. 
 
 Rnnd. And are you, Meifter, willing? 
 
 Part. Yes. 
 
 Rand* And is Miftrefs willing too ? 
 
 Part.
 
 2O Fbe Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 Part. Yes, both willing. 
 
 Rand. And I am willing. 
 
 Steer. Why then all Difficulties are remov'd, and there's 
 no more to be faid. 
 
 Rand. Haud ye, baud ye, I fay all Difficulties are not 
 remov'd, and there's a great deal more to be (aid. 
 
 Part. As, how, pray? 
 
 Rand. Why, as -zoon as Madam comes to under/land 
 that you are all of one Opinion, ihe'll change h'er's to one 
 dire&ly contrary. 
 
 Part. I muft needs own, that's her Humour exactly. 
 
 Rand. For Example- Have not you obferv'd that the 
 Weather-cook upon the Zummer-houfe always Ihifts away 
 from the Wind, zo that to '/et it Zouthweft, it muft ab- 
 fblutely blow vrom the North-eaft Corner. 
 
 Part. Right. 
 
 Rand. Now I look upon Madam to be, in this Re- 
 fpeft, a fort of a Weather-cock, and there's no vixing of 
 her to one zide, but by blowing hard upon her vrom the 
 other. That is to zay, that in order to carry your Point, 
 and make zure of Meifter Steer vor a Zon-in-law, you 
 muft (till obftinately inzift upon giving your Daughter to 
 Mr. Loveijuel. And that's my CounleL 
 
 Part. And, if we fucceed, Mr. Counfellor fliall have 
 his Fee. 
 
 Steer. Ay, Ten Guineas for Randal on the Wedding- 
 day. 
 
 Rand. Stay, there's another thing to be obferv'd, or 
 we lhall never bring her to her vull Pitch of Contradic- 
 tion. 
 
 Part. What's that ?: 
 
 Rand. Why, you'll find that Madam will be for fign- 
 ing the Contrail ; 'tis belt to give no Time for Reflec- 
 tion. The Lawyer mull be in the Zecret ; the Willing? 
 ready, only Blanks left vor the Name j and while you 
 prefj her hare vor Mr. Lo<ue*ivel, ihe'll zcruinly, in pure 
 Contradiction, order the Blanks to be viiled rp with Mr. 
 Steer's Name, and zign the Deed in a PalTion. 
 
 Part. Your Advice is excellent, and iLall bo follow'd. 
 Let us feparate, left my Wife fhould find us together. 
 
 -m.
 
 { The Spirit of CantrAdi&vm. 21 
 
 I'll this Inftant to the Lawyer, and order him to pre- 
 pare the Writings, to put our Deiigns in Execution. 
 Blefs me, what a ftrange State is a married one, when a 
 Man has no Way of obtaining his Defues in it but by 
 feigning to ihun them f 
 Rand. True. For, 
 
 Hufbands, like Watermen, muft look and row, 
 Fof crabbed Wives, like Crabs, do backward go. 
 
 [Exeunt, 
 
 End of the Firjl ACT. 
 
 
 A C T II. S C E N E I. 
 
 Enter Randal. 
 
 FLESH and Blood is not able to bear this Miftrefi 
 of mine ! For let me toil and labour ever fo hard* 
 flic is lure to find Fault. Here have I been digging, 
 planting, and watering, till the Sweat ran off my Face, 
 in hopes to pleafe her, and all to no purpofe ; for whilft 
 I was wiping myfelf dry, in came Madam, in one of hex 
 ufu.il Tantrams, and cry'd, So, Randal, I am fure to 
 fee you ftand idling, according to Cuftom. Then, to 
 prove to her, how I had been (laving to pleafe her, 
 ihew'd her what I had been doing ; to which flie reply 'd, 
 in her accuftom'd Temper, this is what I wou'd not have 
 had done. And when I intbrm'd her it was of her own 
 ordering, fhe flew in a Rage, and cry'd, Let me rind you 
 
 without 
 
 ' 4
 
 22 *fhe Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 without an Excufe, and hang you. So that the Devil 
 himfelf can do nought to pleale her. O' my Confci- 
 ence, when fhe's in thefe perverfe Humours, if a Man 
 were to tell her fhe was a virtuous Woman, fhe wou'd 
 fpit in his Face, and tell him he ly'd. In this Crifis, 
 came my Mafter to my Relief, and calling Madam to 
 him, laid he had Bus'nefs with her ; gave me the Nod, 
 as to retire, in Order, I fuppofe, to put our Plan in Exe- 
 cution, of fixing Mr. Steer for his Son-ift-law : I 
 took the Hint, and left Madam pofTefs 'ci with fo fiery a 
 Compolition, that if Meifter has but luificient- Courage, 
 throughly to light her up, which he will certainly do,. 
 by propofing Mr. Ltrve^vel for his Son-in-law, I don't 
 doubt, but, in pure Contradiction, we fhall carry our 
 Point. Hark ! They teem coming this Way. I'll lland 
 afide, and obferve 'em. (Retires. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Partlet, fdltnud ly Partlet. 
 
 Mrs. Partlet. No, Hufband, this exceeds all Bounds J 
 Perpetually thwarting and plaguing me ! But, fmce it 
 pleafes you, pray go on. But lurely 'tis the very height 
 of Obllinacy, to maintain that Mr. Steer is not a proper 
 Match for my Daughter. 
 
 Part. Nay, W ife, I don't deny it ; but as your Daugh- 
 ter's Welfare and Happinefs is depending, it can be no 
 great Crime in me, to fay that I wou'd prefer Mr. Lo-ve- 
 luel before him. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Lookye, don't let me hear a Word more 
 about him"; Mr. Lowwe! had not beft {hew his Face in 
 my Houfe. 
 
 Part. Confider, Wife, both his Merit and Family. 
 
 Mrs. Part. What, wou'd you have my Daughter 
 follow the Camp ? I tell you, Huffoand, I am refolv'd. 
 
 Part. Let me befeech you, my Dear, to indulge me 
 fo far as to condefcend to me but in this. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Once more I tell you, I am refolv'd ; and, 
 as a Proof, to-morrow Morning I'll give my Daughter to 
 Mr. Steer. 
 
 Part..
 
 I 
 
 The Spirit of Contradiction. 23 
 
 Part. But your Reafon, Wife, forth is Hafte ? 
 
 Mrs. Part. The Reafon, Hulband, is plain : And, to 
 demonlhate to you that I have Reafon, I lhall only tell 
 you, that it is fo becaufe I v ill have it fo. Mr. Steer a, 
 I believe, now in the Houie ; and I'll this Inftant go and 
 acquaint him with my Refolutions : And do you hear, 
 Hutband, I'd have you prepar'd to lign the Articles 
 within this half Hour. [Exit. 
 
 Part. Well, Pwddl, what fay you ? Did I play my 
 Part with Dexterity, or not r 
 
 Rand. Evaith, Zir, 1 believe this time you'll have 
 your Way- ; and perhaps 'tis the zecond in your whole 
 Life. 
 
 Part. Yes, I think we flial] fucceed now. Is the 
 Lawyer come ? 
 
 Rund. I'll ftep and zee, and then come and join the 
 Crv vor Mr. Loveivel. She's in right Temper now ; 
 and if you don't llrikc, you delerre to lofe the Heat. 
 
 [ExH, 
 
 Enter Harriet. 
 
 P.irf. So, Daughter, we have clone Miracles, my 
 Giri .' 
 
 Har. I overheard you ; I was but in the Arbour, with 
 Mr. Ruin the Lawyer, who is pill now come, and waits to 
 ipcalc with you. 
 
 Part. Odfo ! he is come very opportunely ; I n;uft go 
 and fettle Matters with him before your Mother lees 
 him [Exit. 
 
 Har. So, Things are at lair, come to the Crius I ex- 
 pected, and it is high Time to bring my poor Stratagem 
 v into Play; and if that fails, good b'ye Happinefs for 
 ever ! Oh, here comes Betty. 
 
 Enter Betty. 
 
 Well, Betty, ha\evou got your LrfTon perfect? 
 
 Betty Yes, Maclain, and without much flu dying I 
 think you only wane me to lie u:ui uiiTc:uble a little. 
 
 Har.
 
 24 ^Ttf Spirit of Contradiftrm. 
 
 Har. And are you a Proficient in thofe Arts ? 
 
 Betty. I were unworthy to ierve a Lady elle. 
 
 Har. Well, Betty, I lhall put myfeif intirely into 
 your Hands. 
 
 Betty. And, depend upon it, I'll put you into thofe of 
 Mr. Lot'ewel's. 
 
 Har. I hope you'll not deceive inc. 
 
 Betty. If I cio, Madam, may my Lover deceive me 
 on my Wedding-jiight'l and that's a moft featful Wiih, 
 I can tell you, for a Chambermaid's Confcience. 
 
 Har. Take heed what you promife, for the Proof is at 
 hand. My Mother is coming clofe -here behind us to 
 litten, we muft feign not to fee her. I mail butjuft give 
 Hie Alarm, and leave you, Girl, to fight the Battle. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Partlet, li/tening. 
 
 Yes, Betty, my Mother will, this Time, be over-reach'd 
 by us all ; and I ihall be the happieft young Woman in: 
 England. Ha, ha! I muft go and laugh a little. with my 
 Father about it. Step you in and plait my beft Head ; 
 and d'ye hear, be fure don't blab. Ha, ha, ha ! {Exit. 
 
 Betty. Ha, ha! blab! I think not, truly. [Turns thvrt 
 en Mrs. Partlet.] Laud, Madam, you fo furprixe a 
 body! 
 
 Mrs. Part. I am a flrange Hobgoblin, fure ! If it 
 were one of the Fellows, you had not been furpris'd, I 
 warrant. What were you tittering at, my Daughter 
 and you ? 
 
 Betty. Blefs me ! Madam, we were not tittering. 
 
 Mrs. Part. What a Lye to my Face ? Yes, and I'll 
 know the Subjeft of your Mirth before you and I pair. 
 Who is it that is to be over-reach'd, pray ? What was 
 my Daughter faying to you beibre I came P 
 
 Betty. Saying, Madam why, Mils was faying, ihe 
 was laying as how indeed, Madam, I can't teli what 
 Ihe was faying, not I. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Tell me the Truth and I'll give you my 
 green Manteau, and forgive you the China Jar you 
 
 broke
 
 The >/>// of Contradiction. 2 5 
 
 broke Yefterday ; but if you equivocate, I'll turn you 
 out of the Houfe this Moment. 
 
 Betty. I fhould be loth to leave fo good a Lady's Ser- 
 vice. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Speak then, and (lay in it. 
 
 Betty. May I depend on't, Madam, that you won't 
 name yap Author ? 
 
 Mrs, Part. I promife you, I will not. 
 
 Betty, t am lure they wou'd poifon me, if they ktew 
 I betray'd 'em. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Fear nothing, I tell you. 
 
 Betty.- Are you certain ^Looking about} we connot be 
 overheard, Madam ? 
 
 Mt-f. Part. 'Tis impoflible. Come, I'm upon Thornt 
 .till you begin. What, there L a Confpiracy againil me, 
 I fuppofe. 
 
 Betty. A very dangerous one, .Madam. You were 
 to have been betray'd iato a Compliance with my Mafter'a 
 Will and Plealure. 
 
 Mrs. Part. O abominable ! . 
 
 Betty. Mils Harriet and he have join'd with Randal* 
 to perfuade you of their Averfion to Mr. Steer, on pur- 
 pole to palm him upon you for a Son-in-law by Contra- 
 diction. 
 
 Mrs: furl Execrable, unheard-of WickedneG ! Mr. 
 Sfeer, then, is my Hufband's real Choice? 
 
 Betty. Yes, Madam, my Mailer has given him his fb- 
 lemn Piomife, and Mifs Harriet iavs 'tis impoifiblc Ihe 
 fhould be happy without him 
 
 Airs. Part. They might well talk of over-reaching, 
 truly ! Oh, this was a mo'l fortunate Difcovery ! But I'll 
 fit them for ir. Well, Hulband and Daughter, I lhall 
 llicw you a Trick that ihall cure you of over-reaching 
 and fb I was to have been their Dupe, thcii Fool, their 
 Inftrument ! 
 
 Betty. Yes, Madam, my Mafter fnid, that this Time 
 you Ihould fubmit to his Deciiion. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Submit ! Did he fay fubmit ? Monftrous, 
 audacious, infupportable Infolence ! O deieftiye ! Sub- 
 mit ! The Word chokes me, Bf'ty ; \ am not able to 
 C get
 
 26 The Spirit of CpMradiftion. 
 
 get it down: Get me the Hartfhorn ! [Exit Betty.] 1 
 am befieg'd here in my own Houfe ! befet round, and 
 every one I meet is an Eneiny ! Ha, here comes my 
 Hufband, my grand Adverfary of all. I'll compote my- 
 felf as well as lean. Submit ! 
 
 Enter Partlet-rtW Randal. 
 
 Rand. [A/ide to Partlet] Chear up, Meifter ; do yoti 
 ftand to it that you'll have none of Mr. Steer for your 
 Son-in-law, you ihall find he'll be the only Man impost! 
 upon you. 
 
 Part. Wife, I have been feeking you, to talk to you 
 farther about our laft Difcourfe, our Daughter's Mar- 
 riage ; and as it is an Affair of the utmoft Confequence 
 to us all, wherein not only the Happinefs of our Child, 
 but cur own is concern'd, I think we ought not to be toa 
 rafh in our Choice. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Good, wife Hufband, I fliou'd be. glad to 
 know your Sentiments upon- the Affair. 
 
 Purt. My Sentiments you have never regarded; At 
 our laft Interview you abfolutely refblved on Mr. Steer 
 for our Son-in-law j and I am to tell you in plain Terms, 
 Madam, that neither I nor my Daughter will have anjr 
 Thing to lay to him. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Pray fpeak mildly, my Dear, I love Peace 
 *and Unity, and ihall readily condefcend to you, not only 
 in this, but in every Thing elfe that is reafonable. 
 
 Part. Lookye, Madam, You may jeft, with your Con- 
 defcenfions, as much as you pleafe ; but I am in earned 
 Vhen I tell you, that Mr. Steer is one I fhall never ap?- 
 prove of. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Believe me, my Dear, when I once more 
 affaire you, that your Choice fliall determine mine ; and 
 as a Proof, 1 tell you that Mr. Steer is already out of my 
 Thoughts. 
 
 Rand. Relblutely perfift in it, Meiftcr the Alarum is 
 BOt quite wound up yet ; it will ftrike prefently. 
 
 Part. Come, fpeak plain, Madam, and think me vvorj- 
 
 thjr 
 
 I
 
 Tie Spirit of Contradiflion. 27 
 
 thy of a ferious Anfwer : Know, I am not always to 
 be made a Fool of. 
 
 Mrs. Part. But why are you angry, my Dear, fince I 
 give my Word to do juft as you defire ? And to fliew 
 you my Sincerity, as well as my Submiflion, I'll go this 
 Inrtant and forbid Mr. Steer from ever letting his Feet 
 within thefe Doors again. [Exit. 
 
 Part. [After a Paufe.J Randal! 
 
 Rand. Zir! 
 
 Part. What fay'ft thou to this, Man ? 
 
 Rand Nay, let the Moon zay, vor (he knows bed- 
 There's Inchantment in this, Meifter. 
 
 Part. I am afraid it is too real. What the Devil can 
 make her fo complying this Morning ? 
 - Rand. I'll not believe but the Varies have been here. 
 
 Part. I am ftrangeiy unfortunate, that the only Time 
 in her Life that fhe does -not contradict me at all, fhoruld 
 be to contradict me the mofr.. 
 
 Rand. To comply zo with your Will, I confers, Zir, 
 is flrangely unnatural. 
 
 Part. So unnatural, that lam all Amazement 
 
 tut I'll follow her in, and if poffible find out the Bottom 
 of it. _ [Exit. 
 
 Rand. Zo, there's an End of my Plotting and Po- 
 liticks ! I lhall never have my Advice alVd again, that's 
 certain. Not that I'll give it up neither ; for there's fo 
 little Dependance on Madam's Word, that it goes 
 and comes like the Sun in April. 
 
 Enter Steer. 
 
 Steer. Well, old Sophifter ; what, Matters go Orr 
 iwimmingly, it feems. The Articles are preparing with- 
 in to be fign'd. I mufr. look out the ten Guineas 
 there's Comfort for thee, old Boy. 
 
 Rand. Madam is looking out to give you your DiC- 
 charge there is Comfort for you, old Boy. 
 
 Steer. What ! ihe is not fo mad, lure, as to refufe me 
 for her Son-in-Law ? 
 
 RunJ. I'm afraid 'tis too true; (Iran ge Changes have 
 C 2 happen'd
 
 :? 'lie Spirit cf Cuitraditlkn. 
 
 happen'd within this half Hour ! But Meifter is now with 
 
 her, I'll ftep in and liiten a \vhile, and endeavour to 
 
 bring you a more perfect Account. [Exit. 
 
 Steer. Do fo What, not have this little Gipfey at 
 laft ! But if I can't have her, why I muft look out 
 elfewhere ; -"hang it! I have a Sort of Kindnefs for the 
 young HufTey too.-- But ha that has Coin needs not want 
 Kine, a* the Saying is Oh here fhe comes. 
 
 Enter Harriet. 
 
 u,', pocr Girl. What, Things go ill on thy Side, I 
 hear. Thou art in Danger of lofing me, they- fay. 
 Troth, I pity theewith all my Heart. 
 
 Hur. Son;ething has fallen out a little unfeafonably, 
 Sir. 
 
 Steer. And thou art griev'd about it, my Girl, Ha? 
 I am very glad on't with all my Heart, 'tis a Proof that 
 thou lov'ft me. But come, don't be call down, don't 
 defpair ; live in Hopes ; perhaps thou may'ft have 
 me yet. 
 
 Har. li'it is your Defire, there is no Time to be loft ; 
 go this Inilant to my Mother j prefs her, importune 
 her, and peremptorily infift upon the Performance of her 
 Promife. - Hah, Loveivel! what brings him here ? 
 
 Enter Lovewel. 
 
 Love. You'll excufe the Abruptnefs of this Vifit, Ma- 
 dam, when I come to allure you that 'tis the laft I fhall 
 ever make you. 
 
 Har. It you had fpar'd yourfelfthe Trouble of this, I 
 fliould eafily have forgiven it. 
 
 Love. I know it, ialie One, for I am at laft convinced ; 
 that which 1 have heard to-day ; your Diicourfe this 
 Morning ; your Affectation to fend me away ; the Law- 
 yer whom I have feen here ; in fhort, all together confirm 
 
 your Treachery part doubt. But I intend to keep 
 
 my Temper and tell you, You are unw.orthy every 
 
 thing out Contempt and Silence. . 
 
 Ha A
 
 s 
 
 Tie Spirit cf Contradiction. 29 
 
 Hat: I wou'cl willingly bz faform'd Sir, on what Pre- 
 tence you dare infult me thus ? or what Hopes have I 
 ever given you, that you fhou'd prefume to take this 
 Liberty ? 
 
 Love. Had you difcourag'd my Addreflcs, I fhou'd, 
 tho' with Pain, have defifted j but as yoii rejected them 
 not, I fed my Imagination with the vain Hopes that my 
 Suit was agreeable. Credulous Fool ! thus to amufe my- 
 felf, and fuffer my Paflion to be fo deluded, by the artful 
 Wiles of a deceitful Woman. 
 
 Steer, Harkye, Frignd, doll thou call this wooing ? 
 
 Loye. Grant me Patience, Heaven ! 
 
 liar. Lookye, Sir, fince you provoke me to fpeak, 
 cou'd my Father hefitate a Moment between the large 
 Eftate of Mr. Steer, and your (lender Fortune ? And, as 
 for my Part, I cannot but prefer the open eafy Temper of 
 this Gentleman, to that ferioux, paflionate Turn of Mind 
 you always appear in. His Jefts and Good-humour arc 
 infinitely more engaging than your wild frantic Sallie.s. 
 
 Steer. Ay, ay, I have always heard that Woflrtn love 
 Mirth and good Company ; and tho' the Lot has fallen 
 upon me, lookye, Friend, don't be call down ; fuch a 
 pretty Fellow as you need never defpair. 
 
 Lo-i<e. Lookye, Madam, order your Fool there to be 
 mannerly, or it may chance to coft him a beating. 
 
 Sice r. A beating ! I fhou'd be glad to fee that, faith j 
 and if thou doft beat me, I'll forgive thee with all my 
 heart ; and for thy pains, if thou'Tt call on me at Smit/j- 
 jleld on a Market-day, I'll give thee a Beef-Steak and a 
 Bottle into the Bargain. [Going up to.-l>im>]< 
 
 Love. Oons! you - 
 
 liar. [Interf-ofing.] Lookye, Mr. Lowwel, either keep 
 your Temper, or leave the Place ; I have ever told you 
 that I hate paflionate People. 
 
 8 teer. Egad, and fo do I with all my Heart ; I'll 
 cv'n f:ep in to your Father. Pr'ythee, my Dear, get 
 rid of this troublefome Fellow as fail as you can, and 
 then come to us ; there's a good Girl [E.>.-it. 
 
 /.3-7V. Your Proceedings, Madam, appear "o rue fo 
 , that I cou'd almoft fufpsft vou of : . 
 
 a?anf,
 
 :o tft.e S'iiit of Contra/diftwit. 
 
 Net that I wou'd flatter myfelf with fuch a vain Thought. 
 However, if* the Pdnence ot" Mr. Steer might any way 
 conllrain you, he is now gone, and you may freely clear 
 Tourkif. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Par tie t, f rivalry. 
 
 MrsxPat:. Ha, my Daughter alone with Lovfjcel ? 
 
 (Afidf. 
 
 I -'.'. E ; ther jufliry yourfeif, or .confefs you have 
 wrong'd me. Come, fpeak, Madam, as. we are now 
 alone. 
 
 Har. [Obferi'irg ker Mother.'] Ha ! my A'Joth%r ! 
 Sir, there was no diiTembling iri the Matter. I {hall fay* 
 the fanne Thing now we are alone, which I faid before 
 Mr. Steer. My Father is defirous I fhou'd accept him 
 for a Hufband, and I declare it is the greateft Satisfaction 
 I can receive. 
 
 Love. This is beyond dl Patience to fupport : But I 
 have done -, I'll to your Mother, and let her know, tho' 
 I have hitherto conceal u ir.y PafHon from her," how I 
 have been treated by her ungrateful Daughter. [Going. 
 
 Hfir. Yes, go to n;y Tviother, I ad v lie you ; and, 
 d'ye hear, tell her how iv.uch I hate ard dtfpiie you. 
 
 Love. I thank vou, Madam ; and thus I bid an eternal 
 Adieu to the falfeft of her Sex. 
 
 Airs. Part. Hold, Mr. Lei-ewe!, I have partly heard 
 how you have been treated, and tliink your Wrongs in- 
 vite Companion. I plainly perceive that my Hulband 
 end Daughter are combin'd to ahufe both you and ine. 
 I (hall therefore make your Cafe my own ; for, tho' I 
 fay it, there is no one conforms to other People's Opini- 
 ons more than myfelf. 
 
 Love. I am obliged to you, Madam, but after the bale 
 Ufage I have receiv'd from your Daughter, my only Care 
 fiiall be now to forget her. , 
 
 Mrs. Part. I muft confefs that I had heretofore no In- 
 . tendon of prcpofing my Daughter to you, but to de- 
 monflrate to you, who are a reafonable Perfon, that 
 Reafon only is the Guide of my Actions, I frankly make 
 
 you
 
 The Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 you an Offer of her j for, believe me, it will give mean 
 infinite deal of Pleafure to revenge me of my Hufband 
 and Daughter ; for every body, you mud know, con- 
 fpires to thwart and contradid me, therefore let me in- 
 treat your Acceptance 
 
 /.a--?.*. Indeed, Madam, you mud exctife me, ilnce 
 your Daughter' deni rleart, 1 mult refufe her 
 
 Hand. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Wtat, do you contradict me I 
 Sir, I will make it fo advantageous a Match to vouy^f&tj 
 you fhall be obiig'd to take her whether you will or no. 
 
 liar. I hope, Madam, you don't mean to engage me 
 agaiflfl my Will ? 
 
 'Mrs. Part. Your Will, my Dear ? What, have you 
 forgot already that you ought to have no \V ill of your 
 own ? 
 
 liar. Alas, Madam, when I faid it, there was but 
 little Sincerity in thofe Words. Why wou'd you go to 
 hinder m v Marriage with a Man of Mr. Steer's Fortune? 
 
 Mrs. Part HulTv, Mr. Loveivel has more Fortune 
 1 1; a \\ you defer ve. 
 
 Heir. L'et me live and die a Maid, rather than be join'd 
 to ii Man 1 Lave an Averfion to. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Hold your Tongue ; I am refolv'd it fiiail 
 be fo. 
 
 f { ijr. [Kneels and weeps.] I conjure you, Madam, 
 not to render my whole Life unhappy. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Rife, I fay, for I am inflexible. 
 
 Har. For Heaven's lake, Madam, have pity on me. 
 
 Mrs. Purl. Yes, you dcferve it, truly. Know tin: I 
 am acquainted with all your little Subtilties. You wou'd 
 have betray'd me, expos'd me to a Compliance with your 
 Father's Will and Pleafure ! Hut to punifh you, ivlils, 
 I'll make you both fign the Articles that you had pre- 
 par'd together to deceive me ; I'll go and order the 
 Blanks intlantly to be fill'd up with the Name of Loi>e- 
 <wel. 
 
 Love. Stay, Madam I wou'd net have you !... 
 I ihall ever lign them. No, I wou\, , than 
 
 marry your Daughter.
 
 g 2 The Spirit of Contract clion. 
 
 Har. I wou'd fooner periHi than marry your Daugh- 
 ter ! Blefs me ! Mr. Lowwel, how emphatically you 
 pronounc'd thole Words ! 
 
 Lo<ve. I pronounc'ii them as I meant 'em, Madam. 
 
 Har. And as, from my Sftul, I Kilh'd 'em; and, to 
 deal flncerely with you, thai you. fliou'd ipeak them in a 
 Manner to affect my Mother, k was neceffary they 
 frou'd come from yqur Heart. You had, never deceiv'd 
 her fo, well, if you had not beerr firft deceiv'd yourielf. 
 
 Lave. Explain your Meaning, p*ay/ 
 
 Har. Why thus, then. To gain rry Mother's Con- 
 fent to my Wifhes, I have been oblig'd to lead mj Fa- 
 ther alfb into an Error. He, good Man > has acted na- 
 turally in the Affair ; and when I found they were one 
 and all for Mr. Steer, I made ufe of Betty to acquaint my 
 Mother of it. The Girl has acled her Fart to a Miracle. 
 And this is the Reafon, that, feeing every body again't 
 you, fhe has thought fit to take your Part, that ihe may 
 contradift every body. And fee wou'd now confrrain 
 you to inairy me, in order to make you contradict your- 
 felf. 
 
 Love. Desreft Harriet, you have put Mufic into rr.v 
 Heart that will make it dance for my whole Life 
 now I was quite benighted in Defpair ; but you have,, 
 m three Vv cic'r., fo dazzled me with Happineb, 
 that I want Facvaue- to perceive it. 
 
 Har. I wou'd not have you perceive it, till the Ar- 
 ticles are fign'd. I (hall dread fome indifcreet Tr-ir 
 that may, perhaps, fpoil all. No, Mr. Ltif-iael, \ 
 wou'd not have you yet convinc'd that you are o . 
 me. 
 
 l.o-ve. [Tranj'horteJ.] Enchanting Sounds! O how ft all 
 I be worthy of fuch Goodueis! My kii:c-- r , citareff, 
 adorable Miilrefs ! 
 
 Har. Hu/h, I hear Steps this Way. We nrufl b'- ;J! 
 means continue to diifembie. 
 
 Enter Randal. 
 
 No, Mr. Loveiue!, don't imagine you Cial! ever marry 
 me againft my Will. 
 
 Rand,
 
 The Spirit of Contradiction. 33 
 
 Rand. I believe not, vaith, vor it wou'd be with all 
 your Heart, and with all your Zcul. I have long fuf- 
 pefted k, and arn now convinc'd thai- all your Quarrels 
 were feign'd, pretended, mere lham Ones, defign'd purely 
 to cheat my Miilrefs ; but that ihe might not be lb im- 
 pos'd on, I have beert juft letting her into the Secret. 
 
 Har. Oh, Mr. Lovnve/, we are ruin'd then for ever ! 
 
 Love. Wretch, wht haft thou done ? 
 
 Rand. I can't help it now, v6f Madam is coming to 
 undo all her Doings agairf; and the Reafon why I in- 
 fonnM her, was bectule Meifter Steer had promis'd me 
 ten Guineas on his Wedding-Day. 
 
 Lo^e. Rafcal, why did you not afk me fifty ? 
 
 Rantl. Nay, nay, it wont zignify now, fince Madam 
 knows all. Neverthelefs, if I were to zee that fame vifty 
 you mention 
 
 Har. What then ? 
 
 RiinJ. \Vhy then, perhaps, things may not go fo bad 
 as you imagine. 
 
 Lwe. Here, take my Purfe. And now, good Ran- 
 iLl 
 
 Rand. And now, Zir, to fpeak Truth, and fhame the 
 
 Devil, Wad-am knows nought about it. But that 
 
 you may not think your Money ill beftow'd, I will fay 
 fomething for you to Madam that ihall defer ve it ; and, 
 luckily, yonder fhe's coming. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Partlet, Betty following. 
 
 I'm glad you tire come to make Peace, Madam ; I vound 
 tht young Volk here, juft going to vighting. They did 
 fo wrangle and jangle together, that, vor my part, I 
 thought they had been married already. 
 
 Mrs. Part. What, Daughter, do you continue obfti- 
 nite ? Lookve, Huffy, you had bed conform to your 
 Duty, or I (hall fend you to your Aunt in Cumberland, 
 to watch Geele upon a Common- 
 
 Enter Mr. Steer. 
 
 I thought, Sir, I had given you your Discharge, and 
 
 forbad
 
 34 tte Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 foibad jour ever coming within thefe Doors ; after which, 
 let me tell you, I look' upon it to be a Piece of Infolence 
 to appear here again.; therefore, Sir, pray walk out. 
 
 Steer. Wounds, Woman, I only came to give mf 
 Sweetheart a Bufs at parting j I hope there's HO "great 
 Harm in that. 
 
 Enttr Lawyer. 
 
 Mrs. Part. So, Mr. Ruin, I am glad you are come j. 
 Is every Thing done exactly as I directed ? 
 
 Ruin. Yes, Madam, all is ready for executing. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Tell John to bring a Table, and Hfd my 
 Hufband attend this Moment. [To Betty. 
 
 Betty. Yes, Madam. My Matter Is here. [Exit. 
 
 Enter Par tie t. 
 
 \A Table brought on. Betty returns.] 
 
 Part. Wife, give me leave for the laft time, to remon- 
 ftrate to you 
 
 Mrs. Part. Hufband, fliew no Airs here. Remon- 
 
 ftrate ! Pray, Sir, who made you a Remonftrator ? 
 
 Ruin. Madam, may I be fo bold to fpeak one Word, 
 while I may do it in time ? The young Lady's Concern 
 affe&s me. I have always obferv'd that thefe forc'd Mar- 
 riages 
 
 Mrs. Part. What, Mr. Ruin, are you too againft poor 
 Mr- Lowwel and me ? There wanted only you to make 
 the Oppoution complete. Come, give me the Pen. [Sb* 
 figns.] Here, Harriet, do you fign under me. Don't be 
 refractory. 
 
 Hat: I muft fign, fince you command me. [Sigitt.}< 
 There, Madam but my Comfort is, you can't make my 
 Father fign. 
 
 Mrs. Part. That, Child, we fliall try. Come, Huf- 
 band, you who can advife and remonftrate, write your 
 Name here quickly, you had bell. 
 
 Part. I'll fign for Quietnefs fake, fince it can fignify 
 nothing; [Signs.] for I am fure you can't force Mr. 
 Loveivd. 
 
 Mrs.F -t,
 
 The Spirit of Contradiflion. 35 
 
 Mrs. Pwt. Sir, to oblige you alfb to join your Hand, 
 J have order'd a Claufe here, to confirm to you, over and 
 above the Sum propos'd, a Gift of a thoufand Pound at 
 the Birth of the fir ft Child. 
 
 Love. Tis not thole Gifts that I covet; but fince it 
 will oblige you, Madam, 111 fign. [Signs.] Here, Mr. 
 Ruin, take the Articles, and depart quickly, left my Mo- 
 ther-in-law ihow'd recant. 
 
 Ruin. The Deed Is Irrevocabfc. ' [Exit. 
 
 Love. Now, my Dcareit, .ypa axe my own, and thus 
 
 Hat: O, dear Mr. Lov'eivel, kifs me as much as yofl| 
 pleaffc, but pray, don't eat me. 
 
 Mn. .Part. \Xmaztl.] I am all Amazement! What 
 means all this Tranfport ? Does ihe then rcallv love him 
 at laft ? 
 
 Rand. \ told you Mifs Harriet lik'd something polite ; 
 but you'll ne'er believe one. 
 
 Beity. The green Manteau, Madam, I beg leave to 
 remind you or. 
 
 Part. This fudden unexpected Change, I mutt con- 
 fefs, furprizcs me. My chief Aim was to fee my L 
 ter well provided for -, and lince 1 had my Child is : 
 I'll e'en be pleas'd too. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Plea^'d ! O Heavens, have I Ivtrn 
 tame, hannlefs Turtle, as to pleale a Hulband at laft! } 
 am betray 'd, robb'd, cheated, and ahus'd. But 
 
 Ltvf. [Kneeling iuitb Har.] Madam, thus lovv \ve 
 implore your Pardon for this innocent Decei- ; a 
 JLove excull- what Faults have been committed. 
 
 Mn. Part. [Turning away] I will never forgi ... . ou ; 
 never, never, never. 
 
 Part. Why, you f.gn'd voluntarily, Vv : 
 rtot compell'd, as we wore. 
 
 Mrs. Part. No matter, I'll this Inftant to Lon,!r>:: for 
 
 Advice. I'll be dWorc'd from my Huiband ; i'i. ; 
 
 fee the Face of my Daughter more ; my Servants lhail 
 'be fent to BriJeiue! ; and the Lawyer fhall be put iii t 
 Pillory. You have made me mad an:on 'ft you, and v 
 'frail feel the Effects on't. 
 
 *Her. Ay, Goodv, but turft Cow:; have
 
 36 The Spirit of Contradiction. 
 
 Mrs. Part. Out, Bullock. [Gives him a Box o"tb' Ear. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 Love. I am concern'd to fee my Mother fo violent. 
 
 Steer. By George, I am concern'd to feel her fo. 
 
 Har. Be it my Care to appeafe her : Be it yours, Mr. 
 Loveivel, to reward this Girl, to whofe Services we, in 
 great part, owe our prefent Happinefs. 
 
 Love. As Betty has made me happy in a Wife, the 
 way to be even with her, is to make her a Fortune for 
 fome honeft Man that may be worthy of her. 
 
 Steer. That Care ihall be mine, if Betty pleafes. I 
 came hither for a Wife, and it fhall never be fard tW Bat 
 Steer went to Market and could not deal. What fay you 
 to the Bargain, Girl? Wilt thou {hike me, or not? 
 
 Betty. The Honour, Sir, is too great to be refus'd. 
 
 Steer. Why then, touch here, Wench ; and when the 
 Parfon has conjur'd over us a little, thou fhalt find that 
 I know how to tumble a Bed, as well as thou to make 
 one. Give me but fair play, and if thou doft not own 
 thou haft met with a Man to thy mind, I'll give thee 
 leave to plant me a Pair of Horns, that ihall reach from 
 Hickis-Hall to Pye-Corner. 
 
 Part. I dare warrant Betty proves a good Wife ; and 
 fince you have thought tit to Match into the Familv, 
 Neighbour Steer, 1 infill that the two Weddings be kept 
 together. Here is Randal can fcrape a little; and egad < 
 we'll have a Jubilee. 
 
 Steer. Odsfleih, Neighbour Part let, you are a hearty 
 Cock, and I accept your Offer. And that our Concert 
 may be compleat, I'll fummon down the whole Band of ' 
 White-Chappel Cleavers. A Nod of mine will fetch 'em. 
 
 Lave. When Contradiction lain would bear the Sv. ay, 
 'Tisjuft and right to balBe all its Play ; 
 That Social Peace in every Houfe may reign, 
 And Love and Merit due Reward obtain. 
 
 FINIS.
 
 !5 LIBRARY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 University of California 
 
 SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 Return this material to the library 
 
 from which it was borrowed. 
 
 flits-go 
 OCTl 6 flfe
 
 Unive 
 
 Soi 
 
 Li