^~^ \V'~T / - V LIBRARY UNIVEJ*SITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIEGO p 9 ir ^ F 1 THEBOOKOF FRIENDSHIP A LITTLE MANUAL OF COMRADESHIP f^E=>.^ =^^ \ By REGINALD WRIGHT KAUFFMAN PHILADELPHIA HENRY ALTEMUS COMPANY ft— A Copyright, 1909, by HOWARD E. ALTEMUa THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP WHEN I have attempt- ed to join myself to others by services, it proved an intellec- tual trick, — no more. They eat your service like apples, and leave you out. But love them, and they feel you, and delight in you all the time. — Emcrion. m d THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP SO, if I live or die to serve my friend, Tis for my love, — 'tis for my friend alone. And not for any rate that friend- ship bears In heaven or on earth. —George Eiiot Old friends are the only ones whose hold is upon our inmost be- ing; others but half replace them. —Voltaire True friends appear less mov'd than counterfeit. —Horace « THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP IT IS sublime to feel and say of another, I need never meet, or speak, or write to him; we need not reenforce ourselves, or send tokens of re- membrance; I rely on him as on myself; if he did thus and thus, I know it was right. — EmeMon A true Friendship is as wise as it is tender. The parties to it yield implicitly to the guidance of their love, and know no other law but kindness. —Hcnrj D. Xhoreau j THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP is a vase, which, when it is flawed by heat or violence or ac- cident, may as well be broken at once; it can never be trusted after. The more graceful and ornamental it was, the more clearly do we discern the hopeless- ness of restoring it to its former state. Coarse stones, if they are fractured, may be cemented again; precious stones never. — Landor Friendship's the wine of life.— Young m \ M 10 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP GIVE me the avow'd, the erect, the manly foe ; Bold I can meet — perhaps may turn his blow ; But of all plagues, good Heaven, thy wrath can send, Save, save, oh! save me from the candid friend. -_George Canning How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual Friends, that we may go and meet their ideal cousins. —Henry D. Thoreau 11 ^ ig i m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP COMMON friendships will admit of division; one may love the beauty of this, the good humor of that person, the Hberahty of a third, the paternal affection of a fourth, the fraternal love of a fifth, and so on. But this friendship that possesses the w^hole soul, and there rules and sways v^^ith an absolute sovereignty, can :,dmit of no rival. —Montaigne Friendship is a sheltering tree. — Coleridge 12 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP WE love everything on our own account; we even follow our own taste and in- cl in at ion when we prefer our friends to ourselves; and yet it is this preference that alone consti- tutes true and perfect friendship. — La Rochefoucauld Friendships begin with liking or gratitude. —George Eliot In friendship I early was taught to believe. —Byron 13 li m I 'm THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP IN all thy humors, whether grave or mellow Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee. That there's no living with thee, or without thee. — Additon Friendship of itself a holy tie. Is made more sacred by adversity. — Drydea Love and friendship exclude one another. —La Btujhe il l l iih 14 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP is a severe sentiment, solidly seated, since it rests upon all that is highest in us, the purely intellectual part of us. What happiness to be able to say all that one feels to someone who comprehends one to the very end and not only up to a certain point, to someone who completes one's thought with the same word that was on one*s lips, someone the reply of whom starts from one a torrent of conceptions, a flood of ideas! —Pierre Loti « d 15 m \ \ m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THE man that hails you Tom or Jack, And proves by thumps upon your back How he esteems your merit, Is such a friend that one had need Be very much his friend indeed To pardon or to bear it. — Cowper Judge before friendship, then confide till death. —Young Have no friend not equal to yourself. — Confudut 16 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP SE P A R A T E thyself from thine enemies, and take heed of thy friends. A faithful friend is a strong defence ; and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure. Nothing doth countervail a faithful friend, and his excellency is invalu- able. A faithful friend is the medicine of life; and they that fear the Lord shall find him. — The Book of Ecclcsiasticut m d M— Book of Friendship. 17 114 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THOU may'st be sure that he that will, in private, tell thee of thy faults, is thy friend, for he adventures thy dislike, and doth hazard thy hatred; there are few men that can endure it, every man for the most part delighting in self-praise, which is one of the most universal follies that bewitcheth mankind. —Sir Walter Raleigh it i hffl 18 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP ONCE let friendship be given that is born of God, nor time nor cir- cumstance can change it to a lessening; it must be mutual growth, increasing trust, widening faith, enduring patience, forgiving love, unselfish ambition, and an affection built before the Throne, which will bear the test of time and trial. —Allan Throckmorton Friendship is a field which one sows. — Rettif de la Br^tonne m li 19 p b THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP A MAN that is fit to make a friend of must have conduct to manage the engagement, and resolu- tion to maintain it. He must use freedom without roughness, and oblige without design. Cowardice will betray friendship, and covet- ousness will starve it. Folly will be nauseous, passion is apt to ruffle, and pride will fly out into con- tumely and neglect. — Jercmy Collier 20 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP SOME look to friendship for absolute exemption from criticism, and for a mutual admiration with- out limit or conditions. Others mistake it for the right of exces- sive criticism, in season and out of season. —John Morle/ Of what use is the friendliest disposition even, if there are no hours given to Friendship, if it is forever postponed to unimportant duties and relations .? • — Henry D. Thoreau 21 li Ii4 fe THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP WHAT is loving — that verb (amare) where- from the very name of friendship (ami^ citia) is derived — but wishing one to enjoy the best possible good fortune, even if none of it accrues to one's self? — ciccro Even the utmost good-will and harmony and practical kindness are not sufficient for Friendship, for Friends do not live in harmony merely, as some say, but in melody. —Henry D. Thoreau 22 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THINK of the importance of Friendship in the education of men. It will make a man honest; It will make him a hero; it will make him a saint. It is the state of the just dealing with the just, the magnanimous with the mag- nanimous, the sincere with the sincere, man with man. — Henry D. Thoreau The admirer is never stupid in the eyes of the admired. — Hcivctiu« 23 li THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP ONE of the surest evidences of friendship that one in- dividual can display to another is telling him gently of a fault. If any other can excel it, it is listening to such a dis- closure with gratitude, and amend- ing the error. —Bulwer-Lytton We never exchange more than three words with a Friend in our lives on that level to which our thoughts and feelings almost habitually rise. —Henry D. Xhorcau 24 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP IF thou wouldst get a friend, prove him first, and be not hasty to credit him; for some man is a friend for his own occasion, and will not abide in the day of thy trouble. And there is a friend who, being turned to enmity and strife, will discover thy reproach . Again, some friend is a companion at the table, and will not continue in the day of thine affliction. —The Book of Ecclcsiasticus m ■a 25 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP is a pact where one balances faults and qualities. One can judge a friend, take account of what is good, neglect what is evil, and appre- ciate exactly his value, in aban- doning one's self to an intimate, profound and charming sympathy. — Guy de Maupassant Everyone can have a friend Who himself knows how to be a friend. ^Old Saying 26 ran i i m ty 1 I'y THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP W M T E do not wish for % / m / Friends to feed and j/ j/ clothe our bodies, — neighbors are kind enough for that, — but to do the like office to our spirits. For this few are rich enough, how- ever well disposed they may be. — Hcnr)- D. Thorcau Friendship closes its eye, rather than see the moon eclipst; while malice denies that it is ever at the full- —J. C. and A. W. Hare .J L . fm 1 ml tal m 27 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP SON, if the lintels of thy house are lofty, and thy friend be sick, say not: What shall I send to him ? Go thou rather on foot, and see him with thy eyes; for that is bet- ter for him than a thousand talents of gold or silver. -Arabian Legend We must love our friends as true amateurs love paintings: they have their eyes perpetually fixed upon the fine qualities, and see no others. ~Mmc. d'Epinay 28 If I j lp THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP NOTHING is SO difficult as to help a Friend in matters which do not require the aid of Friendship, but only a cheap and trivial service, if your Friendship wants the basis of a thorough practical acquaintance. — Henry D. Thoreau Great souls by instinct to each other turn, Demand alliance, and in friendship burn. — Addisoa 29 ip l I 'p THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FAST as the rolling seasons bring The hour of fate to those we love, Each pearl that leaves the broken string Is set in Friendship's crown above. As narrower grows the earthly chain, The circle widens in the sky; These are our treasures that re- main, But those are stars that beam on high. —o. w. Hoimc« 30 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THERE is nothing more becoming any wise man, than to make choice of friends, for by them thou shalt be judged as thou art; let them therefore be wise and vir- tuous, and none of those that follow thee for gain; but make election rather of thy betters, than thy inferiors. _Sir Waiter Raldgh True friendship is like sound health: the value of it is seldom known until it be lost. _c. c. Coiton 4 31 ■m P i i -H THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP A WOMAN'S friendship borders more closely on love than man's. Men affect each other in the reflection of noble or friendly acts ; whilst women ask fewer proofs and more signs and expres- sions of attachment. — Coieridge Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. —Franklin A true friend to a man is a friend to all his friends. — wycheriey (il l l -J 32 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP HALF a word from your friend says more to you than many phrases, for you are accustomed to think with him. You comprehend all the sentiments which animate him, and he knows it. You are two intelligences which add to and complement each other. — pierre Loti Friendship ! mysterious cement of the soul ! Sweet'ner of life ! and solder of society ! -Robert Blair J— Book o/ Friendship. 33 ids m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP is first, Friendship last. But it is equally impossible to forget our Friends, and to make them answer to our ideal. When they say farewell, then indeed we begin to keep them company. —Henry D. Thoreau In friendship we see the faults which may be prejudicial to our friends. In love we see no faults, but those by which we ourselves suffer. —La Bruyire il l i M 34 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP COME back I ye friendships long departed I That like overflowing streamlets started, And now are dwindled one by one. To stony channels in the sun! Come back, ye friends whose lives are ended. Come back, with all that light at- tended, Which seemed to darken and decay When ye arose and went away. — Loa|fellow 1 . 1 35 p m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP OUR friends are generally ready to do everything for us except the very thing we wish them to do. There is one thing in par- ticular they are always disposed to give us, and which we are as unwilling to take, namely, advice. — HazUtt There is nothing that is meri- torious but virtue and friendship, and indeed friendship itself is only a part of virtue. —Pope 36 P i I TO THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THERE are three friend- ships which are advan- tageous, and three which are injurious. Friendship with the upright; friendship with the sincere, and friendship with the man of observation: these are advantageous. Friendship with the man of specious airs; friendship with the insinuatingly soft, and friendship with the gHb of tongue: these are injurious. — Confudus il l \ m 37 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP A GENEROUS friendship no cold medium knows, Burns with one love, with one resentment glows ; One should our interests and our passions be, My friend must hate the man that injures me. —Homer (Pope's Tr.) My friend is that one whom I can associate with my choicest thought. —Henry D. Thoreau Go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend. —The Book of Prorerb. 38 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP VERITABLE friends en- joy, in moral order, the perfection of scent that dogs do ; they thus divine the chagrins of their comrades; they see the causes and concern themselves with them. — B*lx«c I have loved my friends, as I do virtue, my soul, my God. — Sir Thomai Browne The most certain fortress against evil is that of friendship. — cicew 39 P i i ^ THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP CHARITY itself commands us, where we know no ill, to think well of all; but friendship, that always goes a pitch higher, gives a man a peculiar right and claim to the good opinion of his friend. — Robert South Therefore example take by me, For friendship parts in poverty. —English Ballad A friend is worth all hazards we can run. —Young 40 [f I I 'p THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP BEWARE, lest thy Friend learn at last to tolerate one frailty of thine, and so an obstacle be raised to the progress of thy love. — Henry D. Thoreau Nothing is more dangerous than an imprudent friend; better to have to deal v^ith a prudent enemy. • — La Fontains I hate the prostitution of the name of friendship to signify modish and worldly alliances. —Emerson 41 P i m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP OLD friends are the great blessings of one's latter years. Half a word conveys one's meaning. They have memory of the same events, and have the same mode of thinking. I have young relations that grow upon me, for my nature is affectionate, bu^- can they grow old friends ^ My age forbids that. Still less can they grow companions. Is it friendship to explain half one says ? One must relate the history of one's 42 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP memory and ideas ; and what is that to the young but old stories ? —Horace Walpole What is commonly called Friendship even is only a little more honor among rogues. —Henry D. Thoreau The friendships of the world are oft Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, And such a friendship ends not but with life. -AddiKJo m d 43 p THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THERE are jilts in friend- ship as well as in love, and by the behavior of some men in both, one would almost imagine that they industriously sought to gain the affections of others with a view only of making the parties miserable. — Henry Fielding Friendship is evanescent in every man's experience, and re- membered like heat lightning in past summers, —Henry D. Thoreau fil l i Jl 44 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP GIVE, and you may keep your friend if you lose your money ; lend, and the chances are that you lose your friend if ever you get back your money. — Bulwer-Lyttoq I would that I were worthy to be any man's Friend. — Henry D. Thoreau There is nothing sweeter than a warm friendship, but continual emotion embitters. —Joseph Reinach 4S ^ Ip l 1 ^ THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP DEAR is my friend — but from my foe, as from My friend, comes good; the first what I can do Shows, and the second what I should. — SchiUcr Every friend is to the other a sun, and a sunflower also. He attracts and follows. — Jean Paul Richter Kindred weaknesses induce friendships as often as kindred vir- tues. — C. N. Bovee LJJ Bil l m 46 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP ONE must shed his blood to serve his friends and to avenge himself upon his enemies; otherwise he is not worthy of the name of man. —Voltaire Friendship takes place between those who have an affinity for one another, and is a perfectly natural and inevitable result. —Henry D. Thoreau Talking with a friend is nothing else but thinking aloud. — Addiwn 47 li P i \ m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP ^^K TB^UTUAL comprehension % / 1 makes for friendship, X Y M ^^^ miHtates against love ; for love — like modern society papers — must have a " puzzle column " for those that take It m. — Ellen Thomeycroft Fowler Whatever the number of a man's friends, there will be times in his life when he has one too few. — Bulwer-Lytton The friendship of a great man is a gift of the gods. -Voltaire Bil l \ik 4& THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP AH I were I sever'd from thy side, Where were thy friend, and who my guide ? Years have not seen, Time shall not see The hour that tears my soul from thee. —Byron False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leav- ing us the instant we cross into the shade. — c. n. Bovee m d 4. — Booi of Friendship. 49 p irf THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP I HAVE friends in Spirit land, — Not shadows in a shadowy band, Not others but themselves are they; And still I think of them the same As when the Master's summons came. — whittitr Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. —Sydney Smith 50 1 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP SHOULD auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to min* ? Should auld acquaintance be forgot. And days o* auld lang syne ? — Bunu No man has been able to discover how to give a friendly counsel to any woman, not even to his wife. — Baliac In friendships, some are worthy, and some are necessary. -JT«7 T.7»« SI d p & THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP YOU do not know how great is the value of friendship, if you do not understand how much you give to him to whom you give a friend. — Seneca Faint heart never won true Friend. O my Friend, may it come to pass, once, that when you are my Friend I may be yours. — Henry D. Thoreau Rare as is true love, true friend- ship IS rarer. — La Fontaine 52 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP CEREMONY was but de- vis'd at first To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes, Recanting goodness, sorry ere 'tis shown; But where there is true friendship, there needs none. —Shakespeare Friends are companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. —Pythagoras 53 [p i ■ n 'iji THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP HAVE friends : It is the second existence- Every friend is good and wise for his friend, and among them all gets well managed. — BalthaBar Gridan When our friends arc present, we ought to treat them well; and when they are absent, to speak of them well. — Epictetut To Friendship every burden's light. —John Owy 54 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP ALL are friends In heaven, all faithful friends, And many friendships in the days of Time Begun, are lasting here, and grow- ing still. —Robert Pollok A Friend is one who incessantly pays us the compliment of expect- ing from us all the virtues, and who can appreciate them in us. — Htarj D. Thorciu Friendship is immeasurably better than kindness. m ii 55 p THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP THE friendship that I have conceived will not be impaired by absence, but it may be no un- pleasing circumstance to brighten the chain by a renewal of the covenant. —George Washington True friendship between man and man is infinite and immortal. — Plato Purchase not friends with gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love. —Thomas FuUcr Bu i I jtl THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP EVERYTHING is well, provided one reaches the end of the day, that one sups and that one sleeps. The rest is " vanity of vanities," as says " the other.'* But friendship is a veritable thing. — Voltaire Ah, how good it feels; The hand of an old friend ! — Longfellow No friend's a friend till he shall prove a friend. —Beaumont and Fletcher 57 [p i I 'p THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP WE hate some persons because we do not know them, and we will not know them because we hate them. The friendships that succeed to such aversions are usually firm, for those qualities must be sterling that could not only gain our hearts, but conquer our prejudices. — Colton The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. — shakeipeare il l \ M 58 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP, eaual- poised control, O heart with kindliest motion warm, O sacred essence, other form, O solemn ghost, O crowned soul! — Tennjton Who friendship with a knave hath made Is judg'd a partner in the trade. — John Gay Let your friends be the friends of your deliberate choice. — BalthaMF Gradan 59 4B li p THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP DO not have evil-doers for friends ; do not have low people for friends; have virtuous people for thy friends ; have for thy friends the best of men. —The Dhammapada A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. — The Book of Proverbs What room can there be for friendship, or who can be a friend to anyone whom he does not love for that one's own sake ? — cicero LU IBI l ii 60 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP M 'AKE no friendship with an angry man that is given to anger, and with a furious man thou shalt not go. —The Book of Proverbs What ill-starr'd rage Divides a friendship long confirm'd by age ? —Pope Friends should be weighed, not told; who boasts to have won a multitude of friends has never had one. —Coleridge 61 m idB m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP should be surrounded with cere- monies and respects, and not crushed into corners. Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command. —Emerson Friendship is like rivers, and the strand of seas, and the air, common to all the world; but tyrants, and evil customs, wars, and want of love, have made them proper and peculiar. —Jeremy Taylor 62 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP I HATE where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush of concession. Better be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo. —Emerson He who is a friend to every- body is nobody's friend. — Spaaith Prorerb For tho' the faults were thick as dust Vacant chambers, I could trust Your kindness. — Xenuywa 63 P i i H THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP A FRIEND is he who sets his heart upon us, is happy with us, and deHghts in us, does for us what we want, is wilHng and fully engaged to do all he can for us, on whom we can rely in all cases. — Channing Friendship is Love, without either flowers or veil. —J. C. and A. W. Hare We call friendship the love of the Dark Ages. — Mme. de Stael ob i \ m 64 THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP P URE friendship is what none can attain to the taste of save those who are well-born. — La Bruyere Friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and with- stand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation. — Washington I love a friendship that flatters itself in the sharpness and vigor of its communications. —Montaigne ■Book of Friendship. 65 m ^ m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP N^O word is oftener on the lips of man than Friend- ship, and indeed no thought is more famil- iar to their aspirations. — Henry D. Thoreau Friendships are the purer and the more ardent, the nearer they come to the presence of God, the Sun not only of righteousness but of love. -Landor A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature, — Emereo* 66 m THE BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP HE will find himself in a great mistake who either seeks a friend in a palace, or tries him at a feast. — Seneci Friendship —