SCINTILLAE 
 
 JURIS 
 
 AND 
 
 MEDITATIOIfS 
 
 IN THE 
 
 TEAROOM 
 
 BY THE HON. MR. 
 JUSTICE DARIJNG
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 ^^
 
 SCINTILLAE JURIS 
 AND 
 
 MEDITATIONS IN THE 
 TEA ROOM
 
 AUTHOR'S NOTE 
 
 THESE LITTLE BOOKS WERE Author's 
 published anonymously and have N°** 
 long been out of print ; they are now, 
 for the first time, published together, 
 as they are in some sort complemen- 
 tary. 
 
 It has been thought well to indicate 
 who they were whose decisions are 
 travestied in the chapter " Of Judges " 
 — for they have all passed away, and 
 their idiosyncrasies are no longer 
 famihar to the frequenters of the 
 Courts. 
 
 "Meditations in the Tea Room" 
 were published some years before 
 their author entered the House of 
 Commons.
 
 SCINTILLAE JURIS ^ BY THE 
 HON. MR. JUSTICE DARLING 
 
 WITH PREFATORY NOTE BY THE 
 
 RIGHT HONBLE. SIR EDWARD 
 CLARKE, K.C. 
 
 LONDON: STEVENS ^HAYNES 
 LAW PUBLISHERS BELL YARD 
 TEMPLE BAR ^ jn MCMXIV
 
 SIXTH EDITION
 
 K 
 
 PREFATORY NOTE f ^7 I Lf- 
 
 THE PUBLISHERS HAVING Prefatory 
 desired a Prefatory Note to this Note 
 new edition, my friend the author of 
 "Scintillae Juris" and the "Meditations 
 in the Tea Room" has asked me to 
 write a short introduction to the 
 volume in which these two books 
 appear together. 
 
 "Whether any such introduction is 
 needed, and whether I am the proper 
 person to write it, were questions for 
 his decision. His judgments are very 
 seldom overruled, and in this case I 
 willingly submit. If any words of 
 introduction are to be spoken there is 
 perhaps some fitness in my selection to 
 discharge that pleasant duty. For 
 he and I have for many years been 
 comrades in both professional and 
 political life, and have both refused to 
 allow the claims of politics or law to 
 exclude us from the delights of 
 literature. 
 
 The lines in which Sir Charles 
 Darling described Mr. Justice Talfourd 
 may not unfitly be applied to himself : 
 
 "Judge, but not merely a Judge — 
 though learned, not lawyer entirely : 
 Orator, maker of laws, had he been — 
 likewise maker of verses." 
 
 ix 
 
 <-'-».
 
 Prefatory These two books represent the out- 
 Note look upon public affairs and upon the 
 work of our courts of justice of a 
 shrewd and well-stored intellect, en- 
 dowed with a qualily which Talfourd 
 did not possess, the dangerous and 
 delightful gift of humour. 
 
 " Scintillae Juris" was published a 
 good many years ago, and has for 
 some time been out of print ; copies 
 being only obtainable of late at a good 
 deal of trouble and expense. Some of 
 its contents — the five judgments given 
 in its early pages — cannot be enjoyed 
 by the younger lawyers among us as 
 they were by those who were familiar 
 with the judicial utterances so pleas- 
 antly satirised. When they first 
 appeared the names now given at the 
 foot of the page were quite unneces- 
 sary, and each of the victims recognised, 
 except in his own case, the truth of the 
 caricature. But all the rest of the 
 scintillae are as bright as ever, and 
 the pages on examination and cross- 
 examination, and witnesses, and evi- 
 dence, contain hints as to the conduct 
 of a case which any intelligent young 
 barrister will find very useful. 
 
 The " Meditations in the Tea Room," 
 although first published some years
 
 before the author entered the House of Prefatory 
 Commons, are strongly tinged with the Note 
 cynicism which comes naturally to one 
 who spends years as a private member 
 of the House of Commons, a place where 
 the opportunities for public usefulness 
 seem so large, and where the actual 
 results of hard work are so very small. 
 " Sir," said Mr, Disraeli to a new- 
 member who was presented to him, 
 " you will find the House of Commons 
 a very dull place — with its brilliant 
 moments," Those brilliant moments 
 are indeed delightful, and sometimes 
 come unexpectedly to reward the 
 diligence of the patient sitter through 
 the hours of dulness ; but when they 
 have been foreseen the chamber is so 
 crowded that no one but the Speaker 
 and the Sergeant-at-arms has a com- 
 fortable seat. No wonder that there 
 are scoffers in the smoking room and 
 cynics in the tea room. The author of 
 these Meditations has here set down, in 
 less than a hundred pages, many wise 
 and weighty suggestions on political 
 topics, I do not say, as is so commonly 
 said of books, that they will repay 
 perusal, for where perusal is itself a 
 pleasure no repayment is needed, but I 
 commend them to all students of the 
 
 xi
 
 Prefatory larger questions of political science as 
 Note worthy of careful and deliberate con- 
 sideration. They are suggestions which 
 well deserve to be supplemented and 
 applied by the readers to whose 
 friendly companionship I now in- 
 troduce this book. 
 
 EDWARD CLARKE 
 
 Peterhouse, Staines 
 /line 1914 
 
 Xll
 
 AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 '' r?ST OPERAE PRETIUM DU- Author's 
 
 /v plicis pernoscere juris natiiraniy^ Preface 
 says Horace, I believe he wrote thus 
 concerning soup, but his remark applies 
 very well to the kind oijiis served out 
 in our Courts of Law, 
 
 The following trifling essays are in- 
 tended for no more than mere hints to 
 facilitate the compounding of our duplex 
 nis according to the most approved re- 
 cipes. They are, like other culinary 
 directions, designed for the information 
 of the cooks only, and not for the en- 
 lightenment of those who are to partake 
 of the broth.
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Page 
 
 Author's Note v 
 
 Prefatory Note by Sir Edward Clarke ix 
 
 Author's Preface xiii 
 
 Of Laws I 
 
 Of International Law 7 
 
 Of Judges 9 
 
 Of Courts 29 
 
 Of Prisoners 33 
 
 Of Telling a Story 41 
 
 Of Examining in Chief 49 
 
 Of Witnesses 55 
 
 Of Cross-Examination 61 
 
 Of Evidence 71 
 
 Of Sentences 77 
 
 Of Advocacy 85 
 
 Of Maxims 93 
 
 Of Footpaths 99 
 
 Cras Animarum Z07
 
 WITH LAWS WE HAVE Of Laws 
 small concern until they have 
 been contemned, or set at nought. Of the 
 law of gravitation we know that it exists, 
 and the same of the law of entail, yet 
 a practical lawyer has little more occa- 
 sion to inquire into the reasons which 
 led to the passing of the statute De 
 Donis than an artilleryman has to read 
 Genesis. To know how restraints 
 came to be imposed helps us but little 
 to remove them ; and a barrister 
 spends his time to better purpose 
 when he observes the conduct of men 
 who infringe laws than when he 
 studies the motives of those who make 
 them. 
 
 It has often happened that eminent 
 advocates have been poor lawyers, and 
 great jurists bad advocates ; and this 
 need not seem strange to us, if we con- 
 sider that many men have broken a 
 hundred laws, who, nevertheless, have 
 not understood one. It is in getting a 
 verdict, as in getting anything else ; 
 you will obtain it the more easily if you 
 know of no reason why you should 
 not. 
 
 As he who should write on military 
 affairs would speak little of quarrels, 
 and much of weapons, strategy, and
 
 Scintillae tactics, I shall devote but a short space 
 Juris to the examination of laws, seeing that 
 they are to be regarded as a sort of 
 corpus vile to be tugged hither and 
 thither, like the body of Valerius, 
 when 
 
 . . . " Titus dragged him by the foot, 
 And Aulus by the head." 
 
 Still, as Macaulay informed us of one 
 or two matters relating to Valerius — 
 his home, and political sympathies — I 
 shall not neglect the nature of laws 
 altogether. 
 
 And, first, let us notice that all laws, 
 even the most democratic, are designed 
 to prevent equality — which is chaos. 
 For, as before the elements were sub- 
 jected to law, before the waters and 
 the land were divided from one another, 
 all was but mud, so, were it not for our 
 customs and statutes, society would 
 have no foundation — as we may say ; 
 no dregs or "residuum" — as it has 
 pleased a prominent politician to de- 
 nominate those who cannot return him 
 to Parliament. When we call people 
 base, we intend not to compliment 
 them, but we then recognise their 
 value ; which is to us what the tortoise, 
 on whom stands the elephant who
 
 carries the world, is to the heathen Of Laws 
 philosophy which invented him. 
 
 Foundations, being indispensable, be- 
 come proud of their position. The 
 meanest hind in this kingdom delights 
 to proclaim that " an Englishman's 
 house is his castle " ; yet what is this 
 but saying that, for himself, he is at 
 liberty to die in a ditch, if it be not 
 roofed over. 
 
 To say I may possess this or that, is 
 to forbid all the world beside to touch 
 it till I am willing to give it away. It 
 is like the amusement of putting a piece 
 of cheese on the nose of a dog, who, 
 though all impatient and hungry, waits 
 till I give him leave before he ventures 
 to swallow it. 
 
 The world has long ago agreed that 
 for each man to be able to say of every- 
 thing, " This is mine," is not nearly so 
 enjoyable as for all to be allowed to 
 say of something, " This is not thine " 
 — even though the portion separately 
 possessed be of the smallest. One of 
 two tenants in common of a thousand 
 acres owns every part of that thousand, 
 yet he has not, I am sure, nearly so 
 much pleasure from his land as he who 
 is separately possessed of five hundred 
 — for although he can say, " It is my 
 
 3
 
 Scintillae own," he cannot proceed, " and nobody 
 Juris else's." The pleasure of having pro- 
 perty lies more in the excluding from it 
 of others than in the occupation of it by 
 ourselves. Few are they who wish to 
 till the soil, but many desire to " nation- 
 alise the land " for the joy to be got 
 in expropriating those who now hold it. 
 
 And herein lies the chief enjoyment 
 to be had from the making of gifts ; 
 that, whereas the quiet and continued 
 possession of anything is not a striking 
 manner of asserting dominion over it, 
 the fact that you part with any pro- 
 perty proclaims that you possess it, and 
 your bestowing it on some one of your 
 choice involves the pleasure of refusing 
 it to all whom you do not endow. 
 
 As every enactment must, of neces- 
 sity, be a check upon some passion, or 
 predilection of human nature, it is 
 prudent not to attribute much force to 
 a new law, but to wait until it has been 
 assented to by judicial interpretation 
 before one entertains great respect for 
 it. There never yet was a tyrant who 
 did not rule by the submission of his 
 subjects. Majorities can only be en- 
 slaved when they prefer servitude to 
 resistance ; and it is to no purpose to 
 command that men shall do what they 
 4
 
 have not a mind to. Let it be decreed Of Laws 
 
 to-day that all men shall be just, and 
 
 by to-morrow it will have been decided 
 
 that they are so " within the meaning 
 
 of the Act" ; for, though the contrary 
 
 would be the truth, humanity could 
 
 not bear to pronounce it. 
 
 The general popularity of the laws 
 may well astonish us, when we re- 
 member that they are a restraint upon, 
 and constant menace to, us all. They 
 are, indeed, a kind of whips ; and 
 would, perhaps, not be endured by 
 the community, were it not for that 
 arrangement of ours, by which, when 
 one of the public is to undergo the pain 
 of a flogging, twelve of his fellows have 
 the pleasure of laying on the lash. 
 
 I cannot avoid noticing here an error 
 into which they fall who complain of 
 the uficertainty of law, as though it 
 were a weakness. Rather should it be 
 considered the chiefest of all sanctions ; 
 for trial is often more dreadful than 
 punishment, as sickness is painful, while 
 the article of death is no more than 
 the cessation of pain. If we examine 
 closely, I believe we shall find that 
 all men fear to be ill, and to be dead, 
 but that no one fears dying. Though 
 many people do voluntarily slay them- 
 
 5
 
 Scintillae selves, yet they are always accounted 
 Juris mad ; and that not because they have 
 undergone the pain of extinguishing 
 life— for they may have fled from the 
 toothache — but because they have 
 rushed into another state of existence, 
 where they know not but they may be 
 troubled with ten toothaches at once. 
 
 If death were simply non-entity, all 
 would seek it who had less enjoyment 
 than that which has no feeling ; thus, 
 unless a man delighted in unhappi- 
 ness — which I think some do — he had 
 better kill himself painlessly, to escape 
 infelicity, than live painfully to endure 
 it. We see then that some sanction is 
 necessary to prevent the depopulation 
 of a world so full of misery as this ; 
 and we find that the sanction provided 
 is uncertainty. 
 
 This brings us back — after a cir- 
 cuitous, but not unprofitable, voyage — 
 to our terminus a quo ; for uncertainty 
 is the direct result of ignorance, and 
 we have seen that the continuance of 
 life itself depends mainly on our partial 
 want of knowledge — and that which 
 preserves our existence promotes also 
 the observance of our laws. Many 
 would dare to do wrong, did they know 
 for certain what would follow. 
 6
 
 THEY ARE GREATLY MlS-Oflnter- 
 taken who refuse to admit — national 
 as very many do — that there is, pro- "" 
 perly speaking, no such thing as Inter- 
 national Law. The fact is, that there 
 is a Code recognised all the world over, 
 in accordance with which the Judges 
 (i.e., the Sovereigns) and the jurors 
 (i.e., the peoples) of every country 
 invariably give their decisions. 
 
 For the convenience of those who 
 may have in their law libraries only the 
 ten commandments, and perhaps some 
 odd volumes by Grotius or Pufendorff , 
 I will here set out the whole of this 
 International Code in its integrity : 
 
 " La raison du plus fort est toujour s la 
 meilleure.'^ 
 
 The decided cases illustrating this 
 doctrine are as consistent as they 
 are numerous — and therefore one or 
 two citations only may suffice. See 
 Bianchi v. Neri ; Indian and African 
 and American Cases — also Angli v. 
 Angelas ; Foreign Reports, passim.
 
 IT IS A NATURAL RESULT OF Of Judges 
 the laws not being understood by 
 those who make them, that persons of 
 legislative capacity should be employed 
 in their interpretation and improve- 
 ment. Wherefore, it is expedient to 
 understand the decided cases ; but this 
 cannot be done without examining 
 closely the personal characteristics of 
 those who decide them. 
 
 This is admitted by the Judges them- 
 selves, who, though they would swoon 
 or commit you, should you attempt to 
 read the report of a speech in Parlia- 
 ment, in order to show what is called 
 the intention of the legislature, will, 
 nevertheless, in dealing with a reported 
 case, frequently say, "Ah, I happen to 
 know that my learned brother lived to 
 repent of that judgment. It does not 
 express his later views"; or, "My 
 brother was hardly orthodox in rail- 
 way cases," 
 
 Now, as in the Parliament there are 
 members whose contributions to the 
 statute book are all of one sort, so it is 
 with the legislation of the Bench. 
 
 ♦' 'Tis with our judgments as our watches, 
 none 
 Go just alike, yet each believes his 
 own." 
 
 9
 
 ScintilUe Any one who will may satisfy him- 
 Juris self, by taking down a volume of re- 
 ports, old or new, that any given Judge 
 will run in a particular direction if he 
 fairly can. 
 
 There are, however, so many who 
 will not give themselves the trouble of 
 looking into the books, that I shall here 
 present a judgment or two, which I 
 have extracted from the mass, as being 
 peculiarly characteristic of the Judges 
 who delivered them. It is, I think, 
 unnecessary that I should furnish re- 
 ferences to the sources from which 
 these examples are drawn, since they 
 must already be familiar to all who 
 have the regular reports. 
 
 The following judgment was de- 
 livered by a learned Judge* in Thimble- 
 rig v. Hookey : — 
 
 " This action was brought to recover 
 damages for having been called a 
 villain — and the Plaintiff alleges, some- 
 what boldly as I think, that on that 
 account his friends have deserted him. 
 But I hope I may be allowed to say 
 that, in my humble opinion, such of his 
 acquaintance as I had the advantage of 
 seeing, when they came as witnesses at 
 the trial, would rather cease to associate 
 
 * Lord Coleridge, L.C.J. 
 zo
 
 with the Plaintiff if they thought he did Of Judges 
 
 not deserve the title the Defendant 
 
 had bestowed upon him than if they 
 
 believed he did ; and besides, I think 
 
 — I speak for myself — I think it can be 
 
 no loss to any man, but rather a distinct 
 
 gain, to be deprived of the consort of 
 
 such friends as the Plaintiff appears to 
 
 have been — ahem ! — blessed with. 
 
 " As to the term villain or villein — 
 for it nowhere is shown which spelling 
 the Defendant intended — let us con- 
 sider whether, as applied to the Plain- 
 tiff, it is a defamatory word or not. 
 
 " A villein, if I have not forgotten my 
 Oxford learning, was one who did odd 
 jobs — and so does the Plaintiff, very. 
 A villein carried food to the pigs — but 
 the Plaintiff is a tout, and supplies 
 sporting intelligence to the vulgar. The 
 w7/em was dependent on a lord, and was 
 his ' man ' — the Plaintiff hangs on to 
 several noble peers, yet I hardly call him 
 a man — ' Homo sum : humani nihil a me 
 alienum puto ' ; but as to what I think 
 of the Plaintiff — well, I say nothing. 
 
 " Now, to put a, perhaps, somewhat 
 extravagant hypothesis, even if the 
 Plaintiff be not a villain, I cannot see 
 evidence that the Defendant called him 
 so of mahce, for may he not well have
 
 Scint jllae been deceived by the Plaintiff's appear- 
 Juris ance ? 
 
 " I am far, very far, from being 
 satisfied that the Defendant maliciously 
 called the Plaintiff what he did even- 
 tually call him. His conduct was very 
 probably the result of sincere belief, 
 and — if I may venture to use the words 
 of a poet whom I, perhaps, should not 
 name — 
 
 ' And gentle wishes long subdued, 
 Subdued and cherished long I ' 
 
 " I shall assuredly not disturb the 
 finding of the jury ; not, I would say, 
 because I have more than a becoming 
 respect for verdicts, but because, all 
 things considered, I have even less for 
 the Plaintiff. 
 
 " It has been said at the bar that by 
 this decision the Plaintiff will lose his 
 character. Well, then, be it so. I can 
 only say, in his own interest, that I 
 sincerely hope he may ; better were it 
 to have no character than his present 
 one. 
 
 " It has also been pathetically ob- 
 served that he will be made a beggar ; 
 but, when that time has arrived, no one 
 will any longer have a right to say — 
 nor do I say it now — that his property 
 
 12
 
 consists of money which he has dis- Of Judges 
 honestly come by, 
 
 " The Defendant must have judg- 
 ment, with costs, if he can get them." 
 
 A case in the books, much less noticed 
 than I think it deserves to be, is that 
 of Gules V. Saltire, which resulted in a 
 judgment so interesting and important 
 as to be a sufficient excuse for my here 
 reproducing it. 
 
 John Sinister had died, leaving a will 
 which contained a bequest in the follow- 
 ing words : — 
 
 " I give and bequeath my tortoise-shell 
 snuff-box, and one dozen of my silver tea- 
 spoons — videlicet the fiddle-pattern ones 
 — to my father." 
 
 Nowfohn Sinister was indebted for 
 his existence to William Saltire — the 
 Respondent — and a certain Mary 
 Chevron ; but, whether from con- 
 scientious objections, or forgetfulness, 
 or pressing engagements, I know not, it 
 happened that these two persons had 
 never been married. 
 
 The question which — having first 
 been declared by a Vice-Chancellor to 
 be no question at all, and then decided 
 in favour of William Saltire — at length 
 came before the Court of Appeal at 
 
 13
 
 Scintillae Lincoln's Inn, was, whether Saltire was 
 Juris entitled to the said goods as being the 
 father of the testator. 
 
 The following judgment was de- 
 livered : — * " Immoral, but not un- 
 usually immoral, has been the conduct 
 of William Saltire ; filial, legitimately 
 filial, the testamentary behaviour of 
 John Sinister. — A son born in wedlock 
 is enjoined by the law to support his 
 father, if support be necessary to his 
 declining years. — But the solicitous 
 generosity of Sinister continues beyond 
 the threshold of the tomb ; and if Sal- 
 tire must go without this filial aid, it is 
 because, by reason of his own unkind 
 neglect, his genealogical tree is but 
 platanus coelebs, and must stand alone, 
 till, covered with the hoary frosts of 
 age, and beaten by the adverse winds 
 of litigation, it fall, a ligneous ruin, to 
 the ground ! 
 
 "It is fully admitted that if Saltire 
 be in law the father of Sinister, he is 
 then entitled to enjoy his substance ; 
 just as Saturn devoured his children, 
 and as many an old man since has lived 
 upon his son. But is the Respondent 
 the father of the testator ? I declare, 
 unhesitatingly, that he is not. 
 * Sir W. M. James, L.J. 
 M
 
 "A man born in such an informal Of Judges 
 way dLS/ohn Sinister, is said by the law 
 to be niiUius filins ; and I, if he be the 
 son of nobody, find it not less difficult 
 to point out the father of such a man 
 than to put my finger upon the mother 
 of Pallas Athene. 
 
 " I have read that it is the custom in 
 the Empire of Cathay to ennoble his 
 ancestors where we should make a man 
 a peer. Suppose the testator — being 
 already nullius filius—\.o have been a 
 Chinaman as well. Whose name then 
 would the vermilion pencil have traced 
 upon the roll of that antediluvian 
 nobility ? Would William Saltire have 
 taken his place amongst those posthu- 
 mous peers ? 
 
 "It is plain, it is palpable, that we are 
 forbidden by the law to say that the 
 testator was the son of any man. ' The 
 common law only taketh him to be a 
 son whom the marriage proveth to be 
 so,' to quote the words of a treatise 
 whose high authority is hardly equalled 
 by its even higher antiquity, 
 
 " Here, however, there was no mar- 
 riage at all ; and, therefore, I am of 
 opinion, clearly and distinctly, that it is 
 not allowable to say that John Sinister 
 was a son. Consequently he was not 
 
 15
 
 Scintillae even ymllius filius, but rather ntillus 
 }niis jiiijis. Now, though he clearly was 
 not a son, I must proceed to consider 
 whether, in law, he had a father. 
 
 "It is by no means sufficient that 
 William Saltire was a father, as a con- 
 script father, or a father of lies — 
 colloquial expressions prove nothing 
 but their own utter nonsense — he must 
 have been John Sinister s father in 
 law ; * but, if this relationship were 
 established, Sinister would be Saltire'' s 
 son, and this is impossible, for he is not 
 a son at all, as we have already very 
 sufficiently seen. 
 
 "It is in no way material to inquire 
 whether, in these circumstances, it was 
 possible for the testator to have had a 
 mother ; but I am bold to declare that, 
 were it necessary, I should most cer- 
 tainly hold that he was an orphan ab 
 initio. 
 
 " It is gratifying, most gratifying, to 
 know that John Sinister has found the 
 conclusion to the long dilemma of his 
 life, and that now, after the close of his 
 
 * The learned Judge's language is here, I 
 am afraid, open to misapprehension. This 
 position certainly cannot be maintained if 
 we insert two hyphens — and perhaps is not 
 unassailable if we omit them. 
 i6
 
 isolated existence, he at last reposes in Of Judge* 
 the arms of his only legitimate parent 
 — his mother Earth. 
 
 " The decision of the Court below 
 cannot be sustained. Our judgment 
 is for the Appellant — with the usual 
 consequences." 
 
 I shall now give a few passages from 
 a certain judgment delivered in the 
 well-known case Graviped v. Curricle. 
 A man had been knocked down and 
 run over by a horse and cart, wherefore 
 he brought his action for damages. 
 
 After making a terrible exhibition of 
 the pleadings, and indulging in some 
 pleasing recollections of special de- 
 murrers, the learned Baron * proceeds 
 thus : — 
 
 " The Plaintiff must have been in 
 the way, otherwise he would not have 
 been run over. Now, the cart was 
 going very fast, or it was not. If not, 
 the Plaintiff should either have got out 
 of the way, or never have got in. I 
 care not which ; nor need any one else. 
 But, if it were going at a great speed, 
 what must be the cause of that ? Why, 
 I say why — because it is certain — why, 
 
 * Mr. Baron Bramwell, afterwards Lord 
 of Appeal. 
 
 B 17
 
 Scintillae the impulsiveness of the horse, for no 
 Juris vehicle can draw itself. Now, is the 
 Defendant to be held responsible for 
 that ? There is no evidence that he 
 caused it ; as by tying a firework to 
 the animal's tail — which indeed was a 
 short one ; or by driving with a goad, 
 or trident, for a whip. The impulsive- 
 ness results from the horse's being well 
 fed ; and, if Defendant did not feed it 
 well, some one would certainly prose- 
 cute him ; not that I mean to say the 
 ' Society for Preventing Cruelty to 
 Animals ' are here responsible in dam- 
 ages ; by no means. 
 
 " But, again ; is not this a case of vis 
 major? Is it to be said that Defendant 
 is bound to hire a driver able to hold 
 his horse, even when it is most restive ? 
 Is a mariner negligent who fails to 
 propel his vessel against the wind ? Is 
 a soldier to blame who cannot subdue 
 an enemy stronger than himself ? If 
 so, a Defendant would lose his action 
 though he had employed Nelson to sail 
 his ships, and it would be negligent to 
 give the command of an army to a 
 Napoleon. As well might it be said 
 that the Plaintiff's Counsel has argued 
 badly because he fails — as surely he 
 will to get my judgment in his favour. 
 i8
 
 Yet he may have argued his best — Of Judges 
 though I hope not. 
 
 " A horse does not go too fast unless 
 he cannot be pulled up ; and, if he 
 cannot be stopped, how is it negligent 
 to let him run ? 
 
 " Moreover, if the horse came at a 
 high speed, there must, of course, have 
 been much noise ; and then the Plaintiff 
 ought to have taken, or kept, himself 
 out of danger. 
 
 " I think, then, that in this action, the 
 Plaintiff cannot recover, though in the 
 hospital he has done so — -which is 
 another reason against him ; for surely 
 as nemo bis vexari debet pro eadem 
 causd, so no one should recover twice 
 for one injury. 
 
 " Oh yes ; I wish to add that none 
 of my brothers agree with this judg- 
 ment." 
 
 In the leading case under title War- 
 ranty — De Fraudev.Snafflebit — is to be 
 found the following most exhaustive 
 and authoritative exposition of the law 
 on the subject : * 
 
 " The question at present awaiting 
 our decision is one of the very highest 
 importance, and of the most general 
 * Sir Fitzroy Kelly, C.B. 
 
 ^9
 
 Scintillae interest to the public. It is whether a 
 Juris horse warranted by the Defendant to 
 the Plaintiff as being ' quiet in harness,' 
 were so, or whether it were not. 
 
 " It appears from the evidence given 
 at the trial — and which I now hold in 
 my hand — that, immediately after the 
 purchase of the quadruped in question, 
 that is to say, on the twenty-ninth day 
 of February of last year — and I may 
 here say that I have, beyond doubt, 
 ascertained this to have been what is 
 usually denominated 'leap year,' which 
 shows that the day alleged is not what 
 I have heretofore called an ' impossible 
 date' — the Plaintiff, with due caution 
 and circumspection, proceeded to at- 
 tach the horse to his cart, for the pur- 
 pose of returning home, having been 
 lucky enough to dispose of his own 
 horse at the fair. Now, I find that, 
 immediately upon an attempt being 
 made to put the bridle over his ears, 
 the horse threw out his heels, and 
 kicked the Plaintiff's groom — who 
 must, therefore, have been present — 
 in the left eye ; or rather in the place 
 of that organ, for he was one ' cui 
 lumen adempium,' as, fortunately for 
 him, he had already lost it by reason 
 of an accident when shooting wild
 
 ducks in Lincolnshire ; a dangerous, Of Judges 
 and it would seem an unprofitable, 
 pursuit. 
 
 " The Plaintiff, then, having first, 
 very properly, inverted the collar in 
 the ordinary manner, seems next to 
 have tried to put it over the horse's 
 head (purposing, I imagine, to subvert 
 it, or turn it round, as soon as he had 
 done so), and I shoixld hold the collar, 
 whichever end might be uppermost, to 
 be harness, within the meaning of the 
 warranty ; but the horse, actuated by 
 some motive of which, not having felt 
 it, I am unable to judge, bit the Plaintiff 
 on the ear, either the right or the left, 
 I for the moment forget which (nor in- 
 deed is it very material for the purposes 
 of this case to determine which ear was 
 so injured, nor, for that matter, to as- 
 certain whether the Plaintiff were 
 bitten at all). After this display of his 
 intractable temper, and his objection 
 to conform to the conventionalities (so 
 to^peak) of equine existence, the horse 
 galloped away — though in what direc- 
 tion does not appear — and has not 
 since been discovered, or indeed heard 
 of in any way, from that day to the 
 present. 
 
 " Now, as I have already remarked.
 
 Scintillac the matter to be decided is, was he, 
 Juris that is to say, the horse, quiet in har- 
 ness? And here, if, as is not the case, 
 the law required the Defendant to 
 prove the affirmative of that proposi- 
 tion, I should, most unhesitatingly, hold 
 and forthwith proceed to declare, that 
 he was not : and that not because he is 
 proved in any way whatever, directly 
 or indirectly, to have misbehaved him- 
 self, positively or negatively, in harness, 
 but because the evidence, which I have 
 already shortly summarised, does not 
 satisfy me that he was ever quiet in 
 harness, or that he would have been so 
 should he at any time have happened 
 to be there. 
 
 " But the Plaintiff must prove affir- 
 matively, to our satisfaction, that the 
 horse was not quiet in harness ; and in 
 order to do this it is advisable, and I 
 may say it is absolutely necessary, in 
 the first place, to show that he was 
 harnessed, and next that he was un- 
 quiet afterwards, and while still wear- 
 ing the harness. That he was most 
 fractious, unmanageable, and recalci- 
 trant out of harness, I hold to be de- 
 monstrated beyond all manner of 
 doubt, question, cavil, or dispute. Yet, 
 had he once been got into his trap-
 
 pings, non constat but he might have Of Judges 
 conducted himself soberly, quietly, and 
 decorously, according to every rule of 
 good behaviour, be it equine or other- 
 wise, 
 
 " Then can it be said, either truth- 
 fully and honestly, or captiously, criti- 
 cally, or speciously, tliat the horse ever 
 was iti harness after the Plaintiff bought 
 him ? 
 
 " I do not think that it can, having 
 due regard to the peculiar circum- 
 stances of this case, and remembering 
 the fact that the bridle did not touch 
 his ears, or possibly only one of them, 
 and that the collar never completely 
 surrounded his neck, and, perhaps, was 
 never put on beyond his nose. Had 
 he been unquiet when habited, and in- 
 dued in part of his harness only, I 
 should not, peradventure, have held 
 that to be sufficient to entitle the Plain- 
 tiff to our judgment in this case. But 
 that question does not here arise ; nor 
 unless the horse be — by means, as I 
 would suggest, of a lasso, or by ' creas- 
 ing,' or in some other manner practised 
 by the Mexicans — again arrested, and 
 reclaimed from its present wild and 
 lawless state, is that question, at any 
 time, now or hereafter, likely to present 
 
 23
 
 Scintill*e itself, here or elsewhere, before us for 
 Juris our consideration, in any form, fashion, 
 or proceeding whatsoever. 
 
 " With regard to a case, which, dur- 
 ing the argument of this question, was 
 put by my learned brother, as to the 
 effect of a warranty of this nature 
 given to him on his purchasing a pair 
 of carriage horses for a Duchess, let 
 me say, once for all, that I regret the 
 introduction of hypothetical cases in- 
 volving supposed facts so extremely 
 improbable in their nature as to amount 
 almost to complete impossibilities. It 
 is obvious that should my learned 
 brother be acquainted with a Duchess, 
 or even a Marchioness — which I by no 
 means admit to be likely — and should 
 she request him to choose for her a 
 pair of horses, or indeed only one, it is 
 obvious, I say, that no one can pretend 
 to foresee the consequences of such a 
 series of remarkable events. 
 
 "Wherefore, let the judgment of this 
 Court be entered for the Defendant in 
 this cause — and so be it." 
 
 The next, and last, example, which I 
 shall present, is a singularly instructive 
 one. It differs, however, from the 
 others in this, that it will not be found 
 24
 
 in any of the reports, being, indeed, a Of Judges 
 summing up of the evidence in an 
 action for breach of promise of mar- 
 riage. I do not set down the names of 
 the parties, as to do so would give 
 needless pain, by revealing the illegiti- 
 macy of several persons who may 
 some day come to a good position in 
 life. 
 
 The following note was copied from 
 the brief of a learned friend who was 
 engaged in the case : — 
 
 The Judge * sums up :— 
 
 " The learned Counsel says you ought 
 to find for the Defendant. Well, you 
 may if you like ; but don't you go and 
 do it because he asks you. He asked 
 me not to leave the case to you at all ; 
 but I mean to. 
 
 " Very well ! now, what are the 
 facts ? The Defendant admits that he 
 promised to marry the girl ; of course, 
 if he's a man at all, he can't deny that ; 
 and his Counsel says he is a fool — very 
 likely, but what then ? Lots of people 
 are fools ; but they marry. Then 
 that's no excuse for him. Next, the 
 Defendant says the Plaintiff wouldn't 
 have him ; she says she would ; which 
 
 * Mr. Justice Brett, afterwards Lord 
 Esher, M.R. 
 
 25
 
 Scintillae of 'em do you believe ? He has three 
 Juris hundred a year — and— and — well, she's 
 a woman ; there ! She don't dislike 
 money, you know. This is an action 
 to get, what ? Why, money, to be 
 sure ; and Defendant's money, too, 
 mark that. She can't bring an action 
 for the man ; and I can't order specific 
 performance of the contract to marry, 
 because the law says damages — that's 
 money — are as good as a husband. 
 
 " First, then, there's the loss of the 
 husband's income. Then the loss of 
 the man ; and, when you've settled 
 the damages on these, there's compen- 
 sation for the injury to the Plaintiff's 
 heart — her feelings, you know. 
 
 " Now, here the learned Counsel 
 says there are no particulars. He 
 must say something, of course ; that's 
 what he's for. I don't know what he 
 expects. He can hardly want a list of 
 regrets at so much a dozen ; misery at 
 five shillings per hour, let's say ; or an 
 account of the number of tears, or 
 pints of 'em, that the Plaintiff has 
 shed over this business ; the whole to 
 be paid for at so much for the lot, with 
 a reduction, perhaps, on account of 
 Defendant's taking a large quantity. 
 I wonder he does not say there are no 
 a6
 
 bought and sold notes to prove the Of Judges 
 contract. I should know how to deal 
 with that. 
 
 " Well ; you and I may not like this 
 sort of action. Very likely we should 
 prefer to whip a man of that sort down 
 there. But we must be forensic ; and 
 so you are to find your verdict for the 
 Plaintiff. 
 
 " Now, then, what damages ? Don't 
 give too much, for if you do the Court 
 will set your finding aside, or the 
 Defendant may be broken up, and the 
 Plaintiff get nothing after all. 
 
 "What do you say ?" 
 
 27
 
 I SHALL NOT SPEAK FURTHER Of Courts 
 of those Superior Courts, whose 
 reported decisions — especially those I 
 have already cited — are, even by them- 
 selves, viewed with so much respect. 
 Nor shall I occupy time in considering 
 that Court of Piedpoudre, where, as 
 Lord Coke says, your cause was heard 
 and determined before dust could fall 
 from your feet ; for of this expeditious 
 procedure nothing, except the dust, 
 remains. 
 
 But, since it is, unfortunately, the 
 fate of junior Counsel — and of some 
 others who should by this time be else- 
 where — to attend the County Courts 
 and Quarter Sessions, I propose to say 
 a word or two concerning these seats 
 of justice. 
 
 The County Court of to-day is, in 
 name at least, the representative of a 
 venerable institution ; yet it has but 
 one feature in common with the County 
 Courts of times now long gone by. It is 
 still, as Spelman named its forerunner, 
 forum pleheiae justitiae . It still justifies 
 the observation of Blackstone, that 
 " its dignity became much impaired 
 when the bishop was prohibited and 
 the earl neglected to attend it." No 
 one can now enter one of these Courts 
 
 29
 
 Scintillae without perceiving the episcopal and 
 Juris baronial influences to be not merely 
 absent, but to have altogether passed 
 away. Suitors of a sort very common 
 there to-day were simply impossible 
 when the bench might be occupied by 
 a Crusader, and a Christian. 
 
 Men in possession — beatt possidentes ! 
 — the grand army whose battlefield is 
 the room of the mock auction ; rogues 
 who will discount any bill, if only it be 
 obtained by fraud ; all these have, I 
 know, their rights ; and the County 
 Court is where of choice they go to 
 seek them. May they receive their 
 due, and something more. 
 
 Meanwhile the bishop is at his club, 
 and the earl has gone to Epsom. 
 
 * 
 * 
 
 To the Quarter Sessions the barrister 
 of one term's standing goes to make 
 himself acquainted w.ith the " law of 
 the land," by giving lessons in it to 
 those who administer the one by virtue 
 of owning the other. 
 
 Should any one question the wisdom 
 of learning in such a school, I will 
 content myself with reminding him — 
 for, doubtless, he has read them — of 
 30
 
 these words of M. Xavier de Maistre : Of Courts 
 
 " Z?e cette mani^re, o?i a le temps de 
 
 s'affermir stir le terrain de la sagesse 
 
 sans penser y etre encore, et Von y arrive 
 
 par le chemin de la folie, ce qui en 
 
 facilitera singtdi^rement facets a beau- 
 
 coup de monde.'" I trust that no one will 
 
 think that this argument fails to justify 
 
 the existence of Quarter Sessions as at 
 
 present established ; for I know of no 
 
 better reason, nor do I believe there is 
 
 one. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 A chairman of Quarter Sessions will 
 hardly ever reserve a question of law ; 
 but he will generally leave it to the 
 jury. 
 
 Counsel should, in all Courts, use 
 more of deference in proportion as the 
 Bench have less of learning. 
 
 It is a fault of cheap justice, as of 
 gin, that it is purchased by many who 
 were better without it. 
 
 31
 
 IT IS A CURIOUS PRINCIPLE IN Of Prisoners 
 our law that prisoners charged 
 with having committed a crime, are 
 the only people in the world presumed 
 to be innocent of it. But this great 
 advantage is not conceded to them for 
 nothing, since they are also supposed 
 to speak falsely when they deny that 
 they are guilty of the very offence 
 which they are presumed not to 
 have committed ; and, therefore, if 
 they should desire to assert their 
 innocence under the sanction of an 
 oath, this is forbidden,* because they 
 are further presumed to be addicted to 
 perjury. 
 
 The truth is, that, although the law 
 pays a prisoner the compliment of 
 supposing him to be wrongly accused, 
 it, nevertheless, knows very well that 
 the probabilities are in favour of the 
 prosecutor's accusation being well 
 founded, and does not mean in any 
 way to insinuate that he brings a false 
 charge — it foUov/s, therefore, that the 
 presumably righteous are regarded 
 with the greatest suspicion, and herein 
 
 * This is no longer the case. Accused 
 persons and their husbands or wives are 
 now admissible as witnesses for the defence, 
 by virtue of the Criminal Evidence Act, iSqS. 
 
 c 33
 
 Scintillae our law shows, perhaps, more of 
 Juris practical wisdom than of logic. 
 
 Every one knows that, if there be 
 a reasonable doubt whether a prisoner 
 be guilty or not, he must be acquitted, 
 w^hereas no such concession is made to 
 a defendant in a civil action. It might 
 well then be imagined that more 
 verdicts would be gained by prisoners 
 than by defendants ; but they who 
 think thus have failed to notice that it 
 is more important to a man to look 
 innocent than to hz prima facie thought 
 so. No defendant is brought up 
 through a hole in the floor ; he is not 
 surrounded by a barrier, nor guarded 
 by a keeper of thieves ; he is not 
 made to stand up alone while his 
 actions are being judged ; and his latest 
 address is not presumably the gaol of 
 his county. In short, it is known that 
 a defendant appears voluntarily, while 
 no one doubts that a prisoner would 
 run away if he could. 
 
 It seems, then, to me that to profess 
 to think all accused persons innocent 
 can amount to no more than our attempt 
 to make believe that monarchs are 
 all " most gracious," and mayors of 
 little boroughs "worshipful." I might 
 further instance the term " reverend," 
 34
 
 which, as applied to all clergymen, has Of Prisoners 
 been lately declared to be a " laudatory 
 epithet " — a fair description enough of 
 the word "innocent" as predicated of 
 all indicted prisoners. 
 
 Another instance of the favour with 
 which the law professes to regard a 
 prisoner on trial may be found in the 
 care taken to ascertain his motives ; 
 upon which, and not upon his acts, his 
 guilt or innocence often depends. 
 
 Thus, if I give a shilling to a beggar, 
 I am at once called a charitable man ; 
 yet I have, perhaps, bestowed it upon 
 him well knowing that he will buy 
 poison, and so kill himself. No one, 
 however, considers my motive ; the 
 action satisfies all. But, if I should 
 take a shilling away from another, I am 
 not instantly condemned as a thief : 
 for it may be I thought it my own ; or, 
 perchance, I was mad — as to shillings. 
 Here my motives are separated, ques- 
 tioned, reviewed, and considered ; and 
 if, among all my reasons for acquiring 
 property, I acted upon one not "felo- 
 nious " — whatever that may mean — I 
 am acquitted ; for " non est reus nisi 
 mens sit yea.'' 
 
 Now all this process is gone through, 
 not because there is any real difficulty 
 
 35
 
 Scintillae in deciding, but simply because we are 
 Juris going to award punishment in the one 
 case, and do not intend to bestow any 
 reward — or anything more valuable 
 than approbation — in the other. Our 
 law is, in fact, a scheme for afflicting 
 not all offenders, but the most con- 
 spicuous ; and the length of a case will 
 generally be found to be proportioned, 
 not to the intricacy of the inquiry, but 
 to the magnitude of the sentence in 
 which it is expected to result. 
 
 For my own part, I will not venture 
 to consider whether or not too much 
 attention is paid to the motives of men 
 when we are about to judge of their 
 deserts ; but it is certain that many 
 influential teachers of mankind have, 
 looking to results only, estimated mo- 
 tives at nothing whatever. I do not 
 know a better example of this than the 
 doctrines of that Gnostic sect who call 
 themselves Cainites. These people, it 
 is said, not only worshipped the first 
 murderer — upon the hypothesis that 
 he must have been virtuous because 
 he was oppressed — but they also 
 adored Judas Iscariot, for the reason 
 that had it not been for hi^ perfidy 
 there would havv be;,n no salva.tion for 
 Christians. 
 36
 
 It IS said by some jurists that our Of Prisoners 
 law looks upon an action as a fight be- 
 tween a plaintiff and a defendant, to be 
 conducted, not, indeed, with scrupulous 
 fairness, but according to the rules of 
 the forensic arena. And certain it is — as 
 you may read in Glanvil, if you will — 
 that both a defendant and a prisoner 
 might at one time elect to prove his 
 right to land in the one case, or his 
 innocence of a crime in the other, by 
 knocking on the head, coram juclice, any 
 one having the temerity to come for- 
 ward as plaintiff or accuser. But, 
 while allowing this to have been so in 
 the days of Henry II., we must remark 
 that the position of a prisoner now dif- 
 fers from a defendant's, in this, that he 
 is looked upon as having declared war 
 against the State, and so must combat 
 all society at once. His only chance 
 now lies in his heels. He flies there- 
 fore before the multitude he cannot 
 hope to withstand ; and thus we have 
 diproseaifor, who comes, not in the place 
 of the fighting plaintiff, but rather re- 
 sembles those who give information of 
 the whereabouts of some recognised 
 beast of chase — the harbourer — a man 
 soon passed by and forgotten when 
 once the hunt is up. 
 
 37
 
 Scintillae But, if an accused person is regarded 
 Juris as a subject of venery, liable to be 
 caught and killed at prescribed seasons 
 — assizes, or sessions — he is also on 
 that very account entitled to certain 
 laiv, or privileges. Thus the prose- 
 cuting counsel is expected to pursue 
 his prey not too viciously ; not taking 
 advantage of every weapon he might 
 use — as one does not follow a fox with 
 guns and javelins, nor impede his flight 
 by snares and pit-falls. He who would 
 cross-examine a witness to character is 
 as one who would harpoon hares, or 
 kill salmon with a torpedo. 
 
 That a prisoner's wife may not be 
 called, even by himself, is a beneficent 
 provision designed by his enemies to 
 save him from his friends.* 
 
 The great gain of the prisoner in 
 having all the community for his foe, 
 in place of the one man he has injured, 
 consists in the diffusion, and consequent 
 weakening, of enmity which is its in- 
 evitable result. As Izaak Walton while 
 impaling a frog would use him as 
 though he loved him, so do our Courts 
 manipulate a criminal. He is allowed 
 to confess, if it please him : but he is 
 no more driven to this form of suicide 
 
 * See note p. 33. 
 38
 
 than a stag is purposely chased ovei' Of Prisoners 
 a precipice ; and, indeed, he is often 
 gently dissuaded from admitting his 
 guilt, and encouraged to run for his hfc 
 or his liberty. 
 
 It may seem strange that the people 
 at large should at once accuse and 
 judge suspected delinquents. Yet the 
 English above all nations insist on this 
 practice. So the King, for the country, 
 prosecutes ; and the jurors, for the 
 country, decide. In Britain the interest 
 of the community is fairly guarded 
 under this system, but it hardly bears 
 transplanting to countries where — to 
 parody an old adage — Vox populi vox 
 ret. 
 
 If I have taken some trouble, and 
 given more, in order to explain the 
 theory of our law concerning the ad- 
 vantageous position of the accused 
 when in the dock, I shall, I trust, be 
 excused on account of the general in- 
 terest of the subject ; for we know not 
 where any one of us may be to-morrow, 
 and, perchance, " de tefabula narratur^ 
 
 39
 
 ONE OF THE MOST PERPLEX- Of Telling a 
 ing matters ever since the world Story 
 began — and it must have been doubly 
 difficult before — has always been how 
 to begin. This problem daily presents 
 itself to the barrister. 
 
 Now, in telling a story, it is abun- 
 dantly clear that one cannot begin at 
 the very beginning. If there be a 
 heroine, her history is well started, 
 and her path fairly marked out, before 
 ever she is born ; and yet one can 
 hardly commence a narrative of how 
 she was deserted by Lothario with a 
 description of the stately amours of 
 her grandfather and grandmother. 
 
 There is some advantage in begin- 
 ning at the end and going backwards. 
 You thus cover all the important points, 
 and can stop as soon as the facts be- 
 come altogether irrelevant ; while you 
 elude a great difficulty, because, as you 
 cannot commence with a fact later than 
 the last of all, you cannot be charged 
 with omitting necessary preliminary 
 matter. 
 
 But it cannot be disregarded that 
 this has never been the popular logical 
 habit ; and it would, therefore, be con- 
 fusing at first, even if fairly tried. 
 There is nothing really puzzling about 
 
 41
 
 Scintillae such a method ; indeed, it is simpler 
 Juris to go from what has happened back to 
 what caused it, than to feel one's way 
 forward from cause to effect — as we 
 sink more easily than we rise. But 
 what is most likely to prevail against 
 this system is the objection that the 
 tale will decrease in interest as it pro- 
 ceeds — a great fault when we remem- 
 ber that it is often of less importance 
 to reason well than to argue attrac- 
 tively. To take an example from the 
 novelists : " So they married and lived 
 happily ever after," though it is the 
 end of a tale, does not make a bad be- 
 ginning ; but the converse does not 
 hold good, and thus no one could finish 
 a story by recounting that, "on a balmy 
 evening in the month of June, two 
 horsemen might have been seen slowly 
 crossing a moor." Should any Counsel 
 so vaguely conclude his speech, I am 
 sure a Judge,* whom I coiild mention, 
 would instantly exclaim, " Might have 
 been seen ! But were they observed, 
 and, if so, will you proceed to tell me — 
 and as briefly as you can — by whom, 
 and what was the date ? " 
 
 Priority of time is not, perhaps, so 
 important a matter as is generally 
 
 * The allusion is to Chief Baron Kelly. 
 42
 
 supposed. What happens in June Of Telling a 
 
 may ■well, if foreseen, have caused Story 
 
 some event which occurred in the 
 
 March before. And in such a case, 
 
 the order of time would displace the 
 
 real sequence of things. Your death 
 
 causes you to make a will — though 
 
 many people appear to fancy that 
 
 death is accelerated by testamentary 
 
 acts because it always succeeds them. 
 
 Perhaps the better way is to begin 
 your narration at the middle of the 
 story to be told ; not, of course, with 
 the chief fact of all, but with one of 
 some interest and importance. After 
 this may come a digression into those 
 events which preceded the one first 
 noticed, and then a reverting to the 
 course of the story. 
 
 I will illustrate my meaning by 
 instancing the tale of Enid and Geraint, 
 as told by Lord Tennyson, 
 
 First, he tells us that " the brave 
 Geraint, a Knight of Arthur's Court, a 
 tributary prince of Devon, one of that 
 great order of the Table Round, had 
 married Enid, Yniol's only child." 
 
 This is an attractive statement. We 
 are at once prepared to enjoy a conjugal 
 disagreement, and begin to wonder 
 what it will be about. Therefore, lest 
 
 43
 
 Scintillae wc should lapsc into disappointment. 
 Juris tijis is tiie Hcxt tiling we arc told ; and 
 we arc just about to be informed of the 
 result of the squabble, when the author 
 cunuingly affects to remember that he 
 has neglected what he has chosen as 
 the beginning of his story. Wherefore 
 he suddenly breaks off, and says — 
 "For Arthur, on the Whitsuntide before, 
 held court at Old Caerleon upon Usk." 
 
 After which statement he follows the 
 life of Geraint, before he met with his 
 wife, through nearly forty pages : de- 
 tailing his meeting with Enid, the court- 
 ship by battle — so usual in those days 
 — and, taking "the Whitsuntide before" 
 as his point of departure, brings down 
 the narrative to the very moment when 
 he began it. And he who reads the tale 
 must, I think, admit that he could not 
 tell it in better order. 
 
 Yet, let me imagine my friend Hevi- 
 fee, Q.C., at the telling of this simple 
 story in a Court presided over by the 
 eminent Judge I have already alluded 
 to.* It would be more than his practice 
 is worth to disturb chronological order 
 as does the Laureate. He would begin 
 at "the Whitsuntide before." If not, 
 he would prepare an ill quarter of an 
 
 * See p. 42. 
 44
 
 hour for himself, when, after his diver- Of Telling a 
 
 sion, he reached that epoch ! The Story 
 
 eminent Judge would probably strike 
 
 out all the notes he had taken, and 
 
 compel Hevifee to tell the whole story 
 
 again, from what would most likely be 
 
 termed " that most venerable English 
 
 festival, to which, out of all order and 
 
 convenience, you have already referred 
 
 as a date of importance ; though you 
 
 have not on that account forborne to 
 
 place it subsequent to the succeeding 
 
 Christmas." 
 
 Now, this custom of beginning at the 
 beginning, as it is loosely called, is, to 
 my thinking, a most clumsy device ; 
 for all the early part of your narrative 
 is taken up with that sort of tedious 
 explanation spoken of by Mr. Shandy 
 — if I remember rightly — as an intro- 
 ductory preface, or prefatory introduc- 
 tion : which, so far as we can see for 
 some time, leads not more to one place 
 than another. And, besides, many 
 matters are, from the nature of things, 
 contemporaneous ; as youth and inno- 
 cence, marriage and repentance, virtue 
 and indigence. Many events which it 
 is necessary to detail happen unavoid- 
 ably at the same moment of time ; and 
 yet, such harm has this inveterate 
 
 45
 
 Scintillae habit of beginning with Ihc earh'cst 
 Juris dale effected, that ninety-nine people 
 out of a hundred will conclude that 
 what you first mentioned must have 
 soonest occurred. The elegance of 
 events moving along in parallel 
 courses, or drawing gradually toward 
 a place of meeting, is utterly des- 
 troyed by this arbitrary assumption 
 of sequence. 
 
 Most men, I have noticed, attempt to 
 solve the difficulties in telling a story 
 by telling it all at once. They tell it 
 first in a sentence before any one can 
 stop them. They, then, admit it to be 
 unintelligible, and recount it at tedious 
 length, after which they take it bit by 
 bit, and embelUsh — as they think — each 
 piece separately. This is always done 
 through fear, first, that nothing less 
 than the whole story can command 
 sympathy, succeeded by a further mis- 
 giving that when once told the story is 
 too short to maintain its effect, and 
 then comes a desperate feeling that 
 the events require emphasising. 
 
 But my friend Hevifee never sets to 
 work in this manner. He begins at the 
 first date and concludes with the last. 
 Safe is he, but not ornate. This method 
 satisfies the eminent Judge. I do not 
 46
 
 know that he admires It ; but he finds Of Telling a 
 that all can follow it, and needs must, Story 
 if he stands in the way of wanderers 
 as with a flaming sword, or with a 
 vigorous thwack or two urges the 
 loiterer along the straight but narrow 
 path. Many pleasant and profitable 
 pastures are neglected ; many a flower 
 by the wayside is passed unheeded : 
 arid is the road, and dusty with the 
 dust of dismal folios, yet is it the high- 
 way which all may walk who will. 
 The system I know is like the York- 
 shire way of making coats, whereby a 
 score of pieces of shoddy are cut at 
 once to one pattern by a rotary saw. 
 It adorns no one ; but it covers the 
 nakedness of hundreds. 
 
 I could wish that the opening of a 
 case were not quite so like the reading 
 of a file of old almanacs supplemented 
 by an aggregation of comment which 
 has for the most part got stale by the 
 time it is presented. No doubt the 
 dates are the bones, without which 
 there were no coherence in the figure ; 
 but, as nothing in nature grows first to 
 a skeleton and afterwards is clothed 
 upon with form, so I think an account 
 of events should come, as they come 
 themselves, each imperceptibly to 
 
 47
 
 Scintillae perfect the last, not merely to be sup- 
 Juris ported by it. 
 
 What I have here set down I have 
 written with no intent to incite any one 
 to depart from the common usage in 
 our Courts. For my own part, if, 
 haply, I may say, " Video vicliora pro- 
 boqiie^ I must sadly conclude " deteriora 
 scquor,"
 
 I ONCE HEARD IT SAID BY A Of Examin- 
 skilful and successful advocate, ^"S '^ Chief 
 now a Judge,* that it is less difficult to 
 cross-examine than to examine in chief ; 
 and, although I fancy that few would 
 have come to this conclusion, yet I 
 think it a just one ; for it is far easier 
 to put questions which may place a 
 man in an unattractive position than so 
 to conduct his examination as to make 
 him show to the greatest advantage. 
 And, indeed, the gift required seems to 
 me to partake somewhat of that con- 
 structivity said to be so rare among 
 our politicians. Many a ragged fellow 
 has broken painted windows, though 
 none but Albert Diirer could have 
 made them. 
 
 It is true, nevertheless, that but little 
 attention is bestowed upon the examin- 
 ing in chief of a witness, while many 
 arts are exercised to produce an effect 
 in cross-examining ; and this, because 
 the one is so much more engaging to 
 spectators than the other, and seems to ^ 
 
 have a more considerable influence 
 upon the issue of the contest by reason 
 of its results being more quickly per- 
 ceived. 
 
 The examination in chief is, as it 
 * Baron Huddleston. 
 D 49
 
 Scintillae were, the founding of the witness ; the 
 Juris fortifying him ; the circumvallation and 
 provisioning of him for the siege that 
 is to follow. You place him on a hillock 
 by an allusion to his being a Justice of 
 Peace, or an Officer in Her Majesty's 
 Service. You surround him with the 
 out-works of character, and barricade 
 him with an enumeration of his clubs. 
 His allies in peace and war are deli- 
 cately suggested by a chance allusion 
 to his uncle's being a duke, or to his 
 banking at Coutts's, Around him you 
 may draw the defences of holy orders, 
 and before him erect the sallyport of 
 the pulpit. You may conceal his weak- 
 nesses, or skilfully turn them to his 
 benefit, by the exercise of calculating 
 caution, or opportune audacity. If he 
 be of a hot temper, and prone to attack, 
 you may even gain him credit for his 
 violence by recalling to him some object 
 generally disapproved, that he may be 
 thought honourable when he rushes 
 out to condemn it. You may gain for 
 a man sympathy by putting to him in a 
 leading question a list of all the misfor- 
 tunes he has suffered, while he would 
 tire and disgust every one should you 
 leave him to relate them, as he would 
 certainly do at the first opportunity. 
 5°
 
 A plaintiff or defendant should beOfExamin- 
 examined with more deference and ^"6 *" Chief 
 ceremony than any other witness in 
 the case. They always feel that they 
 are the chief actors, aad are somewhat 
 proud of having so behaved them- 
 selves as to have brought together a 
 large number of people to listen to 
 their mutual complaints and recrimi- 
 nations, and particularly of having 
 afforded their Counsel an opportunity 
 of display. For all these reasons — in 
 addition to their everyday ones — they 
 are filled with a huge notion of their 
 own extreme importance ; as was that 
 highwayman of whom it is related that, 
 when the chaplain, on the way with 
 him to Tyburn, said he feared they 
 were late, he answered, " Never trouble 
 about that, sir ; they can't begin with- 
 out us." It is so much the habit of 
 those in high positions to give trouble, 
 that any one who succeeds in being 
 tiresome thinks himself entitled to con- 
 sideration. 
 
 Let a witness mention his hereditary 
 advantages, for they will gain him re- 
 spect ; but such as he has acquired for 
 himself should not be enlarged on, since 
 they shew him to be a dangerous com- 
 petitor, whom no one cares to assist.
 
 Scintillae It is often of advantage to question 
 Juris an honest witness on matters concern- 
 ing which you know him to be un- 
 certain, although you have the means 
 of proving them by other evidence. 
 He will answer that he " believes it to 
 be so and so," but will not swear it 
 " positively." So, when you after- 
 wards prove the facts independently, 
 every one will think well of him for 
 being so scrupulous in speaking of what 
 nearly concerned his interest. 
 
 In examining a witness whom you 
 believe to be of easy virtue — as must 
 often happen to you — it is well to give 
 him no more than the unavoidable 
 openings for the exercise of disin- 
 genuousness, that the chances of his 
 detection in the fact may be thereby 
 diminished. 
 
 As a rule never allow a witness to 
 state that which he is most anxious to 
 mention — for it will surely be either 
 slanderous or irrelevant. 
 
 An abandoned and audacious man 
 is always thought better of than he 
 deserves. If therefore you cannot con- 
 ceal that your witness is a rascal, let 
 him reveal it recklessly. 
 
 Avery conscientious witness is usually 
 tiresome, and never impressive. Any 
 52
 
 data are a great help to him ; and a Of Examin- 
 few letters given one at a time, or a *"6 ^^ Chief 
 thick ledger opportunely supplied, will 
 often enable him to hesitate without 
 being suspected of taking time to fabri- 
 cate falsehoods, and to answer from 
 his own recollection when he thinks he 
 speaks from another's authority. 
 
 All witnesses should be kept as far 
 as possible away from subjects with 
 which they are specially conversant ; 
 for juries have no more relish than 
 other people for being instructed. In 
 every proof the witness gives of his 
 own knowledge they are quick to see 
 also an unmannerly discovery of their 
 own ignorance. 
 
 For a kindred reason I would pre- 
 vent a witness from attributing his acts 
 — as some do — to higher motives than 
 men are used to find in their every- 
 day affairs. There is a reproach in the 
 contemplation of unaccustomed refine- 
 ment which gains no favour from the 
 less cultivated. We sympathise only 
 with those who dress like ourselves, 
 whether the habit be of ideas or broad- 
 cloth. 
 
 We always suspect the honesty of 
 those who are actuated by motives 
 which would not influence ourselves. 
 
 53
 
 Scintillae Perhaps as important a matter as 
 Juris any is to look at your brief as little as 
 possible while you examine in chief ; 
 for a witness is more pleased to tell his 
 story if he thinks it may be new to 
 you ; and is not then embarrassed by 
 the constant fear of giving an incorrect 
 or imperfect version of what you appear 
 to be reading. 
 
 Although leading questions are pro- 
 perly open to objection, yet, with a 
 little contrivance, they may be asked 
 unobserved ; as by separately putting 
 in the shape of isolated facts, and not 
 in their logical order, all the parts of 
 the proposition you would suggest — 
 always taking care to insert skilfully 
 a few immaterial questions, in order to 
 conceal the manoeuvre. 
 
 54
 
 WITNESSES ARE OF TWO Of 
 sorts ; professional and acci- Witness! 
 dental. And first of the professional 
 witness. 
 
 Many have been the disputes as to 
 whether our present juries are the 
 historic descendants of the com- 
 purgators — those rash persons who 
 pledged their belief in the innocence 
 of our forefathers. For my own part, 
 I think that the compurgator of old 
 is to-day rather to be discovered in the 
 professional witness. 
 
 The parallel may not be exact, but, 
 allowing for the inevitable modifica- 
 tions effected by time, I think it will 
 appear close enough to enable us to 
 identify the one with the other. 
 
 If the compurgator always was 
 drawn from the vicinage, while the 
 professional witness generally comes 
 from Great George Street, or Brook 
 Street, this is hardly more remarkable 
 than localising the venue of an action 
 for an assault committed at Minorca 
 by alleging the injury to have occurred 
 in Cheapside. 
 
 I cannot ascertain that the com- 
 purgators charged anything for their 
 oaths, though the professional wit- 
 ness demands so much a day for his 
 
 SS
 
 Scintillae swearing ; but this difference is no more 
 Juris than we might expect to find as the 
 result of increased civilisation. The 
 real similarity, after all, lies in the fact 
 that the testimony of both is evidence 
 of opinion ; though we certainly now 
 make this distinction, that whereas the 
 question formerly was, " Do you think 
 Gurth murdered Diggon ? " it now 
 takes the form, " Do you consider 
 Smith knew what he was about 
 when he stabbed Jones ? " and 
 whereas the answer used to be, 
 " "We think Gurth was in the right 
 on't, for Diggon had broke his head 
 with a quarter-staff," it now runs, " I 
 state it to be my deliberate opinion 
 that Smith was suffering from acute 
 cerebral disturbance, such as recent 
 contact between his skull and a brick 
 might produce in one inclined io petit 
 vial — as are all sinners." 
 
 An intermediate link seems to me 
 to be observable in the "common 
 vouchee," once so useful in cases of 
 entail. "WTien disentailing became fre- 
 quent enough to afford regular employ- 
 ment to witnesses, a class of persons 
 rose to meet the requirements of the 
 age : and I doubt not that had any 
 man in the tenth century killed as 
 S6
 
 many people in a year as a modern Of 
 Railway Company does, he too would Witnesses 
 have retained a regular contingent of 
 compurgators to excuse him. And 
 surely they who, by means of a pocket- 
 book and a " hypothetical tenant," 
 ascertain that a square mile of property 
 in a populous city is worth nothing at 
 all, could have sworn conscientiously 
 that Robin Hood was a profitable 
 keeper of game to his liege lord the 
 king, in his Majesty's forest of Sher- 
 wood. 
 
 I would not, nevertheless, be sup- 
 posed to intend that all doctors, who 
 depose to the insanity of a defendant, 
 have any desire to make a madman 
 where they fail to find one ; and I 
 have no doubt that many valuers are 
 convinced by their own arguments that 
 two and two make four and a decimal 
 fraction ; just as I think it probable 
 that the crier of the Court of Common 
 Bench grev/ to believe himself the 
 warrantor of real titles to half the land 
 in the kingdom. 
 
 The professional witness is rather to 
 be regarded as belonging to that class 
 of devotees who acquired the name of 
 stigmatists, by reason of their so per- 
 sistently imagining their hands and 
 
 57
 
 Scintillae feet to bear holy scars that at last they 
 Juris produced them. 
 
 Accidental witnesses, generally, are 
 quite honest, but are hardly ever un- 
 prejudiced, even on first entering the 
 witness-box, and they always leave it 
 rank partisans if their evidence has 
 been of sufficient moment to produce 
 cross-examination. Yet, if they are 
 not cross-examined, they more often 
 feel slighted than grateful. For an 
 instant, perhaps, they fancy that they 
 looked so strong as to discourage 
 assailants, but it soon occurs to them 
 that they were not thought worth the 
 trouble of an attack. 
 
 A witness who understands the effect 
 of his testimony on the issue seldom 
 gives it fairly. Perhaps few honest 
 men are honest designedly. 
 
 *- * 
 
 * 
 
 Much truth is spoken, that more may 
 be concealed. 
 
 Any one who appears reluctant to 
 speak ill of those in whom he has no 
 58
 
 pecviliar interest, will not often be Of 
 credited with sincerity. Witnesses 
 
 Admissions are mostly made by those 
 who do not know their importance. 
 
 Perjury is often bold and open. It 
 is truth that is shamefaced — as, indeed, 
 in many cases is no more than decent. 
 
 A nervous witness generally means 
 to speak truly ; and seldom does so. 
 
 A professedly religious witness takes 
 credit for so many virtues that he 
 allows himself much licence in dealing 
 with truth. 
 
 It is characteristic of women that 
 they think everything they can say 
 to be very material, and, therefore, 
 they never understand why any ques- 
 tions should be put to them. It also 
 passes their comprehension why they 
 should be stopped just when they 
 are about to inform the Court of the 
 
 59
 
 Scintillae most important matter of all, namely, 
 Juris -vsrhat a man's wife thinks of him. 
 
 Women are invariably angry in the 
 witness-box ; for the rules of evidence 
 happen to be peculiarly repressive of 
 feminine conversation ; wherefore they 
 look upon them as prominent examples 
 of the laws designed for the subjection 
 of their sex. 
 
 * * 
 # 
 
 Of children, perhaps, orphans are the 
 more truthful witnesses. 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 The value of all testimony is deter- 
 mined by a paradox ; for that which 
 costs much is worth little, while that 
 given freely is without price. 
 
 * * 
 
 « 
 
 The last sentence contains much 
 consolation for the professional witness, 
 if he will examine it ; nor can it fail to 
 gratify all others. 
 
 60
 
 IT IS NECESSARY TO ALL Of Cross- 
 who cross-examine to remember Examina- 
 that the object of their art is to ehcit ^*°" 
 that which the witness is either reluc- 
 tant to reveal, or would not tell at all 
 if he thought it to his questioner's 
 benefit. It is clear then that your aim 
 in cross-examination is to bring out the 
 truth on certain points selected by 
 yourself. 
 
 Now the thing easiest to be got in the 
 whole world is the truth, if you set about 
 it in the right way ; for to speak truth 
 is to relate what has happened, while 
 to lie is to tell what has not — and this 
 requires the imagining of what never 
 was, and the joining of it, more or less 
 cleverly, to what is. 
 
 In nearly all men the imagination 
 works but slowly ; and, therefore, it is 
 well to get yourself answered quickly 
 when you desire facts to be disclosed, 
 but to give time if you want the witness 
 to palter with the truth for the purpose 
 of your showing afterwards that he did 
 so. 
 
 If it be asked how one may get an 
 answer quickly, I can only reply that 
 a question suddenly put seems to hurry 
 the utterance of the witness before it 
 touches his faculty of reflection. Thus 
 
 6i
 
 Scintillas you may often hear a man, who has 
 
 Juris answered a question, say, " Excuse me, 
 
 but I did not understand you" — an 
 
 assertion which a smile of increduHty 
 
 easily represents as a falsehood. 
 
 If you suggest to an adverse witness 
 a fact in his own favour, he will often 
 deny its existence for fear it should be 
 to your advantage. 
 
 A suggestion which you desire a 
 hostile witness to adopt should always 
 be made unexpectedly, otherwise his 
 judgment will reject it at the bidding of 
 his interest. There is a story told of 
 Lord Erskine which may illustrate this 
 position. 
 
 " Sir," said he very slowly to a man 
 who declined to pay for a coat, on the 
 ground that it did not fit him, " do I 
 understand you to say that one arm 
 of that coat was longer than the 
 other?" 
 
 "I swear it most solemnly," replied 
 the witness, 
 
 "What?" cried Erskine, with a 
 sudden plunge into a hurried manner ; 
 " do you pledge your oath that, on the 
 contrary, one arm was not actually 
 shorter than the other ? ' ' 
 
 "I do," was the answer, given as 
 rapidly as the question was put. 
 62
 
 It is generally well to indulge a Of Cross- 
 witness against you who desires to Examina- 
 talk much ; for, when you have with ^^°" 
 affability heard all that he has to say, 
 he will readily tell you all that you 
 wish to hear. Moreover, his garrulity 
 will be likely to offend the jury, since 
 all are so fond of talking that they 
 lavish much praise on silence in others, 
 as poverty is lauded for a virtue, 
 because every one wants to be rich. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 In all men we first notice their weak 
 points ; and, therefore, you should, for 
 a time, encourage the display of those 
 characteristics of a witness which 
 you soonest observe ; yet remember 
 always that, as there is no spot of 
 earth where you would not find some- 
 thing of value, if you should dig deep 
 enough, so will much stirring up of 
 any man at last reveal some good 
 quality. 
 
 It is most difficult for a wit to be 
 agreeable ; so, if you allure a witness 
 into indulging his taste for comicality, 
 you may be sure that he will offend at 
 least one of a tribunal of thirteen. 
 
 63
 
 Scintillae A j^ruff man is commonly thought 
 
 Juris honest. You should, therefore, play to 
 
 such an one on the pipe of politeness, 
 
 that he may look ill-tempered if he will 
 
 not dance, and ill-mannered if he do. 
 
 Should a witness be naturally 
 cautious and circumspect, there is no 
 resource but to give him large oppor- 
 tunities for reticence, that it may be 
 taken for disin^enuousness. 
 
 A timid question will always receive 
 a confident answer. 
 
 When a witness called by the other 
 side is inclined to behave to you with 
 marked courtesy, I think it a mistake 
 to discourage him, as some Counsel do. 
 For, though the tenor of his evidence 
 shall be against you, yet many will 
 conclude, from his manner of giving it 
 being the contrary, that he is addicted 
 to insincerity, and will be likely to 
 distrust him altogether. 
 
 It often happens that you have to 
 64
 
 cross-examine your own witness, by Of Cross- 
 reason of the other side having called Examina- 
 him. In such a case it is wisest to ^'°" 
 conceal as much as possible the fact 
 of his partiality ; and I would, there- 
 fore, not cross-examine him as though 
 he were a trusted friend, as is the 
 common way. It is well to ask him 
 many questions ; for he will be sure to 
 answer favourably, and yet it looks 
 more like a real cross-examination 
 than if you should let him begin and 
 finish his own story without interrup- 
 tion, or with transparent assistance. 
 
 Never torture a witness longer than 
 he will wriggle in a lively fashion ; for 
 it is not the pain but the contortions 
 of the victim which amuse lookers-on. 
 
 A compliment is a forensic anassthetic. 
 Many people will complacently under- 
 go a fatal interrogation if they be well 
 flattered all the while ; and more men 
 are likely to be caught by a com- 
 pliment to their ability than by a 
 tribute to their virtue. Perhaps even 
 the best of us would rather be feared 
 than respected or beloved. 
 
 E 65
 
 Scintillae In cross-examining a claimant it is 
 Juris expedient to induce him to exaggerate 
 his rights, to the end that all who hear 
 him may feel their share in the wealth 
 of mankind to be threatened by his 
 large demands upon the common 
 stock ; and that thus his claims may 
 be adjudged by his debtors. 
 
 * « 
 
 * 
 
 To show that your client has, through 
 the Defendant's conduct, lost some- 
 thing which he had before, will gain 
 much favour for his suit ; but to prove 
 that he has been prevented from obtain- 
 ing what he had a right to acquire will 
 help him little ; for who can tell from 
 whose store the new supply would 
 have been drawn ? 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 It is almost always safe to attack 
 a witness whom the Judge allows to 
 be hostile, and to punish him as 
 sharply as you can ; since the admission 
 of an overt a<:t of enmity is, after the 
 oath, a declaration of his untruthfulness 
 and desire to deceive the Court. The 
 j ury at once feel that you are fighting, 
 not your own enemy only, but theirs 
 also ; and having, as it were, become 
 66
 
 combatants by champion, are anxious Of Cross- 
 to see you prevail. Examina- 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 If you can make a witness appear 
 ridiculous, it is never unsafe to do so ; 
 for those in ludicrous situations re- 
 ceive no pity, even though they die 
 there. 
 
 Yet I think it generally a mistake to 
 laugh at any man for his calling in life ; 
 as that he is a barber, a tailor, or the 
 like. Few men do not think themselves 
 more genteel than their business ; and 
 it is ill joking before a jury on a 
 common foible. 
 
 A severe manner may often be used 
 with success toward a witness with 
 whom the jury are inclined mentally 
 to agree, but never against one with 
 whom they sympathise. And it is not 
 wise to try to deprive a person of this 
 sympathy ; for you show the foolish- 
 ness of those who bestowed it ; but 
 rather enlarge upon how much of sym- 
 pathy any one has, as a reason for deny- 
 ing him anything more substantial. 
 
 67
 
 Scintillae The knowledge that virtue is its own 
 Juris reward may well appear reason enough 
 for giving to the deserving nothing be- 
 side an admission of their goodness. 
 
 Sometimes it is not inartistic to affect 
 entire belief in every statement made 
 by an opponent's witness ; since nothing 
 sooner begets scepticism than the con- 
 templation of credulity. 
 
 We must, indeed, be very careful 
 how we affect unbelief in statements 
 made by even the falsest ; for they 
 themselves must speak infinitely more 
 truth than falsehood, and every one 
 can see it. 
 
 To prove that any man is a notorious 
 liar has its dangers, since it heightens 
 the effect of every truth he tells. 
 
 Do not seek to sink a witness too 
 low in the opinion of his judges ; for it 
 is to be observed that we hardly ever 
 feel unkindly towards those who are 
 incontestably and hopelessly beneath 
 us. An aspiring man is always disliked ; 
 but the greatest sinner will meet with 
 68
 
 toleration, if only he have art enough Of Cross 
 to be abject. Examina- 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 A display of magnanimity in dealing 
 with the case against you, often begets 
 a belief in the strength of your own ; 
 for we are accustomed to generosity 
 on the part only of those who have 
 a superabundance for themselves. 
 
 Many Counsel repeat every answer 
 they obtain. A poor artifice for im- 
 pressing a fact on the jury ; because it 
 is but telling them that they can com- 
 prehend only those things which have 
 been said twice. And, although it is 
 often necessary that a jury should not 
 understand your case, it can never be 
 advisable to show them that you think 
 they cannot. 
 
 I have frequently heard many foolish 
 questions put for the purpose of show- 
 ing that a witness takes gin in his tea. 
 I am sure juries generally look on that 
 as an honest failing ; and I would 
 suggest to those Counsel who cross- 
 examine in this way, that they would 
 
 69
 
 Scintillac damage a man far more by eliciting 
 Juris his entire exemption from any con- 
 ventional weakness, or commonplace 
 vices, than by proving that he is not 
 above them. 
 
 The bad habits only of the great 
 advocates are observed and imitated by 
 lesser ones — a versifier who can snooze 
 with Homer is not therefore a poet. 
 
 70
 
 ALL THAT WE SEE AND HEAR Of Evidence 
 is but evidence, and, therefore, 
 to be doubted by those who would 
 reason well. This has led many to 
 conclude that they are wisest who 
 doubt most ; and some philosophers 
 have sought distinction by maintaining 
 that we ourselves are no more than 
 evidence of our own existence, and 
 that we fail to prove it. That these 
 inquirers are right, I will neither assert 
 nor deny ; but seeing that such evidence 
 as they demand for their satisfaction, 
 concerning probabilities, would not be 
 required by our law were the best of 
 them on trial for their lives, we may 
 well leave their refined speculations 
 out of all consideration. 
 
 So far, indeed, is the law from stand- 
 ing disputing on the threshold of what 
 is questionable, that it boldly steps 
 across it by assuming something instead 
 of going about to prove it ; and this 
 manoeuvre it calls, very appropriately, 
 I think, presiimption. 
 
 "A presumption," says Phillips, in 
 his work on Evidence, " is a probable 
 inference which our common sense 
 draws from circumstances usually 
 occurring in such cases." 
 
 Yet the matters presumed are often 
 
 71
 
 Scintillae such as common sense would hardly 
 Juris lead us to admit. I have already 
 instanced the presumption that every 
 prisoner accused is innocent ; and it is 
 not easy to see how common sense 
 came to this conclusion, when it is 
 notorious that out of ten men who are 
 placed in the dock nine should be con- 
 victed and punished. Surely, if common 
 sense had the fixing of that presump- 
 tion, it would be to the effect exactly 
 contrary. 
 
 If a man stay away from his wife for 
 seven years, the law presumes the 
 separation to have killed him ; yet, 
 according to our daily experience, it 
 might well prolong his life. 
 
 The inscription on a tomb is admitted 
 as evidence concerning the person be- 
 neath it ; but I hope that this goes not 
 upon a presumption that epitaphs are 
 true. The effusive comphments of an 
 heir only satisfy me that* he came into 
 possession of his estate. They are proof 
 of the ancestor's subjection to death, 
 but none of his other virtues. 
 
 The bearing of particular arms, or 
 devices, was at one time held evidence 
 that he who bore them had inherited 
 them, as one of the family whose cog- 
 nisance they were ; but — attending to 
 72
 
 our common sense, as Mr. Phillips ad- Of Evidence 
 vises — we ought now, probably, to 
 conclude that he who engraves griffins 
 on his spoons stole the crest, if not the 
 silver. 
 
 Perhaps the presumption of all most 
 consonant with common sense is that 
 one by which a man who has possessed 
 land for many years is supposed to 
 have a good title to it, because, if he 
 had not, some one would already have 
 taken it from him. Such a presumption 
 rests on the fact of human rapacity ; 
 and is therefore well nigh irrebuttable. 
 
 The chief difficulty in arguing with 
 most men, and, therefore, with a jury, 
 is not to convince them, but to prevent 
 them from too rapidly forming an 
 opinion. And so I think it is a greater 
 advantage to have the opening of a 
 case than the reply ; for you then 
 more easily influence the growth of 
 faith when you control those matters 
 which go to promote it. 
 
 From this readiness to decide upon 
 little evidence, or none, arises a serious 
 danger, that of wearying the jury by 
 continuing to call witnesses, and the 
 inducing a suspicion of weakness by 
 
 73
 
 Scintillac improving your fortifications. It is 
 Juris notorious that nothing likely to be true 
 stands in need of much evidence ; 
 from which it is argued that what is 
 supported by many proofs is felt to be 
 improbable. Moreover, it is a conse- 
 quence of the fallibility of all human 
 affairs that the more reasons we bring, 
 the greater chance is there of a bad 
 one's being among them. Hereabouts 
 lies the sole merit of temperance. The 
 last glass of wine may be no more 
 dangerous in itself than the first one, 
 but without it there were no mischief. 
 There is another disadvantage in too 
 soon convincing the Court ; for it is 
 well to bear in mind that what we gain 
 quickly we part with on slight provo- 
 cation, while we relinquish reluctantly 
 those things which cost time and 
 trouble to obtain. Many a worthless 
 opinion is obstinately maintained be- 
 cause it has been laboriously come by. 
 "Whole races of men live in miserable 
 situations, for no conceivable reason, 
 except that it cost them much pain to 
 get there ; but the tourist, who travels 
 at his ease, leaves even Naples without 
 regret, though he is eti route for Siberia. 
 It is then well not to be content with 
 creating a favourable opinion only, but 
 74
 
 to aim at producing it gradually, to the Of Evidence 
 end that it may endure. 
 
 Proof should not arrive as violent 
 winds which bend down the trees 
 before them, only that these may spring 
 up again behind ; rather should they 
 come like a gentle fall of snow, to add 
 their weight unperceived, to over- 
 whelm silently, but to crush and ^ 
 smother all beneath them. 
 
 What is called real evidence — mostly 
 bullets, bad florins, and nailed boots — is 
 of much value for securing attention. 
 
 " Segiiiiis irritant aniinos demissa per aures, 
 Qtiam quae sunt oculis subjccta fidelibus." 
 
 This is true even when these exhi- 
 bits prove nothing— as is generally the 
 case. They look so solid and impor- 
 tant that they give stability to the rest 
 of the story : and so the French call 
 such things puces de convictioyi. The 
 mind in doubt ever turns to tangible 
 objects. They who first carved for 
 themselves a Jupiter from a log of wood 
 knew very well that the idol could do 
 nothing for them, but it enabled them 
 easily to realise a power who could. A 
 rusty knife is now to an English jury- 
 
 75
 
 Scintillae man just what a scaraheus was to an 
 
 Juris Egyptian of old. I have seen a crooked 
 
 nail and a broken charity-box treated 
 
 with all the reverence due to relics of 
 
 the holiest martyrs. 
 
 It seems a pity that what is called 
 ^ " hearsay evidence " is not allowed to 
 
 be given in our Courts for what it is 
 worth ; for though it may be freely 
 admitted that what a man hears said 
 of him, without denying it, may be 
 assumed to be true, it is none the less 
 likely that a good deal more truth will 
 be spoken of him when he is away, 
 than when he is present to be offended 
 at the candour of his friends, and, pos- 
 sibly, to vigorously resent it. 
 
 And though I am not prepared to 
 say with " the Jacobin," 
 
 " Whatever is, in France, is right," 
 
 yet there is much more to be said for 
 gossip than that the French Courts 
 attend to it. 
 
 76
 
 ALL MEN HAVE EVER SHOWN Of 
 great respect for him who has Sentences 
 power to kill them, and they exhibit 
 much tenderness towards those who 
 have been distinguished by the magni- 
 tude of their sacrifices— as Napoleon I. 
 and Chief Justice Jeffreys. It is, I know, 
 usual and conventional to pretend that 
 these homicides are spoken of " with 
 execration " ; but the fact that we are 
 pleased to remember them so well goes 
 far to disprove the sincerity of such 
 professions of dislike. 
 
 The right to give judgment of death 
 is — like riches, and all else that we 
 value highly — conceded to few. When- 
 ever there is a considerable insurrec- 
 tion for the division of property, the 
 insurgents assert their title to all the 
 good things of this earth indiscrimi- 
 nately, not less by plundering their 
 fellows than by hanging and shooting 
 them. 
 
 " Some sacked his house and cellars, 
 While others cut his h*ad off," 
 
 says Peacock, with a nice appreciation 
 of the rights of man. 
 
 Now, the people have never allowed 
 a popular right to become a privi- 
 lege without insisting that it shall be 
 
 77
 
 Scintillae administered according to their liking. 
 Juris It happens that the mediaeval taste was 
 — as the Enghsh is still — all for hanging 
 by the neck ; and this was to be done 
 with ceremony, on behalf of the public. 
 And, therefore, though it was a small 
 matter if one man killed another, it 
 became a serious affair if he illicitly 
 made use of a gallows to do it. 
 
 So carefully, indeed, were these 
 things regulated in some countries, 
 that yoit knew exactly how low a bow 
 to make to a nobleman by noticing 
 the number of posts to his gallows. A 
 four-legged gibbet was distinctive of a 
 very great baron indeed, and a two- 
 posted one proclaimed a man a supe- 
 rior person even among feudal lords. 
 
 This extreme punctiliousness was 
 often embarrassing to the less exalted 
 aristocracy ; for he was sure to have 
 plenty of enemies who was not per- 
 mitted to hang them. Nor did these 
 unfortunate nobles venture to contemn 
 the rules of the shambles by kiUing 
 men in high baronial fashion, but 
 sought by roundabout methods to get 
 rid of those that troubled them, with- 
 out in any way encroaching on the 
 privileges of their betters. Thus the 
 lords of Aragon hit on the ingenious 
 78
 
 device of starving to death those whom Of 
 they might not strangle ; and this sent- Sentences 
 pulous observance of the law was by 
 law rewarded, for in 1247 it was, as 
 Du Cange records, thus enacted for 
 the benefit of those who had kept the 
 commandments, in word : " Sivassallus 
 domini 7ion habentis inenun ncc viixtum 
 iniperium, in loco occideret vassallum, 
 dominus loci potest euni occidere fame, 
 frigore et siti. Et quilibet dominus loci, 
 habet hanc jnrisdictioneyn necandi fame, 
 frigore et siti in suo loco, licet nicllani 
 alimnjurisdictionern criminalem habeaty 
 These noblemen of Aragon, it will 
 be observed, amended the defects of 
 their feudal customs in precisely the 
 same way as our Courts of Equity 
 were wont to improve upon the Com- 
 mon and Statute Law of England, 
 ' ^Fame, frigore et siti " — these also were 
 the methods by which suitors in Chan- 
 cery were put into possession of their 
 
 inheritance, 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 It has always been considered that 
 those tribunals which impose sentences 
 of death, fine, or imprisonment, pro- 
 vide satisfaction for the revenge of the 
 public at large ; and, for that reason, 
 
 79
 
 Scintillae probably our law docs not in criminal 
 Juris cases allow the many appeals per- 
 mitted in civil matters.* He who had 
 lost his bow or quiver by theft, might, 
 with some calmness, submit to delay 
 in getting it back, but he would cer- 
 tainly not have borne that the thief 
 should be long withheld from his ven- 
 geance. Punishment for the guilty will 
 not appease the injured man if it come 
 not while his blood is hot with his 
 wrongs. Lyuch-law would never have 
 been surrendered to a dilatory Court ; 
 for the object of punishment is more to 
 allay anger than to effect reformation. 
 If I shoot in the leg a housebreaker as 
 he jumps out of my window, I shall 
 be fairly contented, though neither 
 society nor the burglar is the better 
 for my act. 
 
 But when a judge is allowed by one 
 unquestionable decree to send a man 
 to the gallows, it is necessary to pro- 
 vide him with cogent motives for the 
 exercise of discrimination ; and surely 
 no one can read without admiration the 
 provisions of our early law upon this 
 subject. 
 
 * The Criminal Appeal Act. igoS.has modi- 
 fied the situation since this chapter was 
 written. 
 80
 
 " It is abuse," says The Mirror of Jus- Of 
 tice, " that justices and their officers, Sentences 
 who kill people by false judgment, be 
 not destroyed as other murderers, 
 which King Alfred caused to be done, 
 who caused forty-four justices in one 
 year to be hanged as murderers for 
 their false judgments. 
 
 "1. He hanged Darling because he 
 had judged Sidulf to death for the re- 
 treat of his son, who afterwards ac- 
 quitted him of the fact," 
 
 The Mirror then displays one by 
 one the offences of other thirty-nine 
 hasty or perverse justices, and throws 
 in the names of another half-dozen or 
 so, who also received severe lessons 
 from their careful and humane king. 
 
 Some there are who, observing how 
 light are the sentences now given, as 
 compared with those formerly in 
 fashion, are apt to congratulate them- 
 selves on the amelioration of human 
 nature in these later days, and contrast 
 their gentle selves with their harsh an- 
 cestors. Yet I rather find the reasons 
 of our present lenity in the greater 
 certainty and rapidity with which we 
 now bring our criminals to judgment — 
 K 8i
 
 Scintillae for, if it be true that he gives twice who 
 Juris gives quickly, a year in gaol now is as 
 two were not long since. 
 
 Criminals of a class seldom caught 
 always receive severe sentences ; partly 
 for example, but chiefly because they 
 are individually supposed to have long 
 broken and evaded the law. Punish- 
 ments seem to have been ever propor- 
 tioned not more to the enormity of the 
 offence than to the difficulty of exact- 
 ing the penalty . 
 
 The chief difference between pris- 
 oners and other people is, perhaps, 
 captivity. 
 
 He who commits a crime incurs a 
 debt to society : and he escapes easiest 
 who makes repayment at once. 
 
 There is reason to think that we re- 
 gard a felon, who has been punished, 
 as an honest man with an exceptional 
 claim on the public. 
 82
 
 A good character precludes a man Of 
 from taking advantage of many oppor- Sentences 
 tunities by which others might profit 
 without being blamed. 
 
 A criminal compounds with his 
 creditors, the public, by showing a 
 fraudulent preference for the prison 
 chaplain. 
 
 An habitual criminal is one who pays 
 compound interest. 
 
 The highest penalty known to our 
 law is in the nature of a post obit on 
 one's own life. 
 
 83
 
 ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE SAID Of 
 that the object of a lawsuit is to Advocacy 
 obtain for some one his rights, accord- 
 ing to the law of the land, yet, when 
 we come to consider in what manner 
 an action may best be conducted at 
 the trial, it is necessary to remember on 
 what grounds the laws themselves 
 must ultimately rest ; since a confusion 
 in the reasons for our complaints must 
 inevitably lead to our stating them in- 
 effectively. 
 
 " The only true and natural founda- 
 tions of society," says Blackstone, " are 
 the wants and fears of individuals." 
 Were there, then, no wants and fears, 
 society would be useless, and would 
 soon cease to exist ; but of this I see 
 no immediate prospect. 
 
 Now, an action must be brought for 
 the purpose of satisfying the wants of 
 some individual by operating on the 
 fears of another. This, therefore, 
 should be borne steadily in mind dur- 
 ing the conduct of the case in Court. 
 
 And, first, the demands of the plain- 
 tiff must be stated, as formidably as 
 possible as against the defendant, but 
 not with such extravagance as to seem 
 to jeopardise the rights of the public 
 at large. The defendant alone is to be 
 
 8S
 
 Scintillae put in fear, not the judges themselves 
 Juris —as I think I have already pointed 
 out. 
 
 Moderation in those v/ho supplicate 
 us for favours seems a merit, because 
 it is the equivalent to generosity in 
 those we beg of. 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 In relating the misfortunes of clients, 
 one must never forget that if he is to 
 gain by his pathos he must not long 
 be pathetic. Our own troubles interest 
 us always, but we soon tire of the 
 woeful chances of others. 
 
 It is also to be noticed that, while 
 we all pity the victim of a sudden 
 calamity, we rarely sympathise with 
 those whose ill-luck is persistent. 
 
 Even when enlarging upon every- 
 thing you are able to urge in your 
 client's favour, it is well to convey by 
 your manner that you are understating 
 your case ; for by means of this arti- 
 fice you gain credit for all that you are 
 entitled to, and something more. This 
 may be easily done in many ways, as, 
 for instance, by omitting to state some 
 favourable fact in opening your case, 
 but taking care to prove it after- 
 wards by evidence of your own, or 
 S6
 
 to extract it from the opposite party Of 
 himself. Advocacy 
 
 If you at once admit those weak 
 points in your case which you cannot 
 hope long to conceal, they will do you 
 less harm than if you should allow the 
 other side to discover and reveal them. 
 I know that it is the theory of the law 
 that what any one says against his 
 interest must be taken most strongly 
 against him ; but this doctrine itself 
 rather diminishes the force of admis- 
 sions, because the severity of the 
 penalty on candour is likely to repress 
 it, if it may be so disadvantageous in 
 its effects ; and, therefore, they who 
 confess willingly always in practice 
 meet with some indulgence. 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 Since we are seldom allowed to 
 choose what cases we are to conduct, 
 it becomes necessary to determine how 
 best to push forward an undeserving 
 claim, or to submit an ill-founded de- 
 fence. Now, it is of little use to have 
 a good case if you do not take care to 
 support it, not with plausible or in- 
 genious arguments only, but with just 
 
 87
 
 Scintillae ones -for there is nothing so true that 
 Juris it may not be discredited by suspicious 
 reasons being adduced to prove it. A 
 proposition, however, which is essen- 
 tially wrong may often be well-main- 
 tained by unsound contentions, though 
 it would be ruined by such as take 
 truth for their basis. " It is an obser- 
 vation," writes Burke, "which I think 
 Isocrates makes in one of his orations 
 against the Sophists, that it is far more 
 easy to maintain a wrong cause, and to 
 support paradoxical opinions to the 
 satisfaction of a common auditory, than 
 to establish a doubtful truth by solid 
 and conclusive arguments. When men 
 find that something can be said in 
 favour of what, on the very proposal, 
 they have thought utterly indefensible, 
 they grow doubtful of their own reason ; 
 they are thrown into a sort of pleasing 
 surprise ; they run along with the 
 speaker, charmed and captivated to 
 find such a plentiful harvest of reason- 
 ing where all seemed barren and un- 
 promising. This is the fairyland of 
 philosophy. And it very frequently 
 happens that those pleasing impressions 
 on the imagination subsist and produce 
 their effect, even after the understand- 
 ing has been satisfied of their unsub- 
 88
 
 stantial nature. There is a sort of Of 
 
 gloss upon ingenious falsehoods that Advocacy 
 
 dazzles the imagination, but which 
 
 neither belongs to, nor becomes the 
 
 sober aspect of, truth . I have met with 
 
 a quotation in Lord Coke's Reports 
 
 that pleased me very much, though I 
 
 do not know from whence he has taken 
 
 it: — Intcrdiim fiicata falsitas (says he), 
 
 in niuUis est prohabilior^ et saepe rationi- 
 
 biis viticit midain veritattnyiy 
 
 The above passage should ever be 
 remembered, as helping us to dis- 
 criminate between the manner and 
 methods suitable to be adopted when 
 arguing before a jury, and those which 
 it becomes us to assume and use in 
 order to convince the mind of a Judge 
 — at all events, if he be of the Superior 
 Courts. 
 
 I have heard Counsel, and that often, 
 who make no difference between their 
 speeches at Quarter Sessions, or Nisi 
 Prius, and their arguments in Banc, 
 except that they somewhat modulate 
 their voices, and clumsily affect to 
 move to Lydian measures in the latter 
 circumstances, but the process of their 
 argument remains the same. The only 
 distinction they seem capable of mak- 
 ing between learned and unlearned 
 
 89
 
 Scintillae tribunals is this, that they lay fewer pro- 
 
 Juris positions before the smaller assembly, 
 
 altering the quantity of their talk, 
 
 without taking the trouble to improve 
 
 it in quality. 
 
 And yet, although a mastery of the 
 various well-known arguments, as ad 
 bacnltivi^ ad hotninvm, and the like, is 
 a very serviceable accomplishment, I 
 regret that no one has yet discovered 
 an effective argument um ad feminatu ; 
 which, perhaps, would be of not less 
 value, forensically considered, than any 
 of the others. 
 
 It is doubtless of great moment that 
 an advocate should appear to believe 
 in his case, as he is then more likely 
 to convert others ; but I think that 
 most Counsel would be better advo- 
 cates did they content themselves with 
 simulating the belief instead of actually 
 embracing it. The manifest appearance 
 of a believer is all that is wanted ; and 
 this can well be acted after a little 
 study, and will not interfere with 
 that calmness of judgment which it 
 is well to preserve in the midst of 
 uncertainties, and which does not 
 90
 
 appear to be consistent with much Of 
 faith. Advocacy 
 
 It is a common practice to conclude 
 speeches with a burst of indignation ; 
 but such a feeUng concerning the 
 wrongs of others is the shortest-Hved 
 of all the passions. I would rather 
 touch last upon prejudice, for it endures 
 like bronze, and is easily written on 
 with the acid of epigram. 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 In the course of a trial many things 
 are believed or discredited, merely be- 
 cause they are likely or unlikely to have 
 occurred ; yet the verdict itself is often 
 only a fresh confirmation of the maxim, 
 " Limprevii est ce qui arrive touj'ours." 
 
 91
 
 I SHALL CONCLUDE WITH A Of Maxims 
 word or two on Maxims, which are 
 for centres having many doctrines 
 revolving around them. It becomes 
 them, therefore, to be fixed and cer- 
 tain ; but, for my own part, I can think 
 them of not much more use in law than 
 the proverbs of country people are in 
 husbandry. Like "index learning," they 
 may " hold the eel of science by the 
 tail," yet the eel will find such means to 
 wriggle that it were almost as well not 
 to restrain him in any way as to hold 
 him by one end only. 
 
 It is magnificently declared by our 
 law that there is no 7vrong imthont a 
 remedy ; but, perhaps, it were as just to 
 remark that no remedy is given to him 
 who has not a right to it. This manner 
 of stating the rule is not, however, so 
 attractive as that which the law adopts. 
 It may often be imagined by litigants 
 that they shall get what they have no 
 title to, because they read ubi jus, ibi 
 rcrnedium, as being a complete proposi- 
 tion which does not negative there 
 being some remeduim where there is no 
 jus. And, indeed, it has often happened 
 that where one has shown himself in 
 want of some remedial treatment, which 
 he cannot specify, the law has found 
 
 93
 
 Scintillae that he has a right of some sort, and 
 Juris then it follows from the maxim that 
 there must be given a solalium of one 
 kind or another. It might be thought 
 that if one could devise a new means of 
 hurting another, it would be safe to 
 exercise it ; but, as you will produce 
 fruit by beating and bruising a walnut- 
 tree, so if you do harm you will cause 
 rights to spring up where before none 
 were to be found. Or, as Lord Holt 
 beautifully has it, if men will multiply 
 injuries, actions must be multiplied too, 
 for every man that is injured ought to 
 have his recompense. 
 
 * * 
 ♦ 
 
 The maxim which, though rarely 
 quoted, most concerns all who go to 
 law, is " caveat viator y 
 
 ^^ Actus legis" it is written, ^' nemini 
 est damfiosus." — Yet such is the ignor- 
 ance of some who come to be hanged 
 that they see not it is for their own 
 benefit. 
 
 » * 
 * 
 
 " I^ex non potest pcccare " — Ahem ! 
 94
 
 It is said that he -who comes into Equity Of Maxims 
 7nust come with clca?i hands ; and I sup- 
 pose that the same rule must now apply 
 in Law. The utility of the maxim is, 
 that he who goes in clean will come out 
 less dirty than he who is soiled from 
 the first ; but, perhaps, having clean 
 hands, it were better not to go into 
 Equity at all. Chi va id imilino 
 s'ivfarina. 
 
 The maxim, " Boni judicis est ii»i- 
 pliare jurisdictiotiem" was probably 
 invented to comfort the conscience 
 when Judges were paid by fees on the 
 cases brought before them. It is char- 
 acteristic of a good General to extend 
 the area of the country he can hold and 
 plunder. 
 
 " Debitores non presumuntur donare." 
 Yet debtors do make gifts, and large 
 ones ; often giving away the whole of 
 their estates. I have noticed that bank- 
 rupts are men of very tender affections 
 wixere their relations are concerned ; 
 and they are so far unprejudiced that 
 they often prefer a creditor. 
 
 95
 
 Scintillac It is a wise saying that " Socii met 
 Juris soct'us, nieus sociiis 7wn cs/." Persons of 
 the sort here indicated are frequently 
 to be found in our Courts as co-re- 
 spondents. 
 
 * * 
 • 
 
 "Z>o«fl! clandestinu stmt semper siis- 
 piciosay Generosity is sure of so much 
 praise that it is considered that no one 
 will give away in the dark what he may 
 lawfully part with. I mean not to say 
 that there is not much secret giving in 
 charity, but these donations are by 
 nature a sort of bribes, and lose some- 
 thing of their effect by being bestowed 
 openly. 
 
 " Siiimnunijus^ sutnina injuria^ This 
 is a more candid statement concerning 
 law than one might expect to find in a 
 law-book ; but it is useful, should any 
 one complain of the imperfection of our 
 law, to be able to point out that in its 
 integrity it were even more hurtful. If 
 we find "partial evil universal good," 
 then it is right to redress wrongs im- 
 perfectly. 
 96
 
 The books contain the maxim, " J^id Of Maximi 
 tnia, via tutay I do not know that this 
 has yet been alleged as a reason for not 
 repairing a highway. But it would 
 make as good a defence as many I have 
 heard. 
 
 Much comment has ever been be- 
 stowed upon the legal maxims, and 
 even now, perhaps, they are not all 
 fully and clearly understood. I shall 
 not here give further examples of them, 
 as their elucidation is a matter of great 
 nicety ; and I do not feel sure that I 
 rightly interpret one or two of the few 
 I have already presented. 
 
 97
 
 THE PERIPATETIC PHILOSO- Of 
 pher cannot well be indifferent Footpaths 
 to the influence of by-ways upon those 
 who travel on them. There is some- 
 thing distinctly deteriorating in sitting 
 on a gate ; but to get over it, to take 
 one's way by a narrow footpath across 
 a wide field, is to have entered, per- 
 haps, on a long career of law-breaking. 
 We may be sure that le preinier pas qui 
 coiite is often that which the thought- 
 less tourist takes on some gently sloping 
 footpath. 
 
 A summer Circuit has, it might 
 be thought, enough inconveniences 
 already ; but it has hitherto remained 
 unnoticed how much a dweller in a 
 town, and particularly in the Temple, 
 may injure his moral sense by wander- 
 ing among scenes of pastoral simplicity. 
 The wholly uncultivated hill-side, the 
 spreading expanse of pathless moor- 
 land — these may be trodden without 
 danger. It is the half-defined tracks 
 of men, or sheep, that lead astray. 
 
 This subject is so wide a one that I 
 may not hope to treat it adequately yet 
 succinctly. It were possible to look 
 at it historically, and to prove from 
 example how ruinous to respect for the 
 rights of others, how fertile in growths 
 
 99
 
 Scintiliae of communistic theory and predatory 
 Juris practice, has been the habit of taking a 
 country walk. And yet there are they 
 who will recommend this to the young 
 Barrister as a healthful, innocent and 
 improving recreation. 
 
 It has been for years a subject of jest 
 with the thoughtless that a witness in 
 Thurtell's case described a person as 
 " respectable" because he kept a gig. 
 Yet this witness, we must believe, had 
 more than a glimmering of right reason 
 upon this very matter of the moral sig- 
 nificance of footpaths. It is quite true 
 — and beyond this point the common 
 critic does not look — that the mere 
 maintaining of a gig will no more than 
 the proprietorship of a pew in the parish 
 church keep one respectable. But the 
 taste which leads a man to choose a 
 gig is for something ; and the habitual 
 use of such a vehicle cannot but be 
 salutary. 'Tis a protest against va- 
 grancy and error ; 'tis the act of one 
 who sees the danger, as well as feels 
 the toil, of walking. He who keeps a 
 coach does so from a love of pomp ; 
 and he who has a landau loves to take 
 his ease even in towns, where there 
 are pavements and broad roads not 
 tempting to the breach of boundaries. 
 
 100
 
 But he who sets up a gig is, in pocket, Of 
 of the class pedestrian ; though he Footpaths 
 recognises and shuns the danger of 
 that mode of voyaging. His gig hmits 
 him to the high-road ; it holds him 
 safely in his appointed groove. Walk- 
 ing is not by much more modest, nor a 
 coach and six more indicative of settled 
 habits. Therefore is a gig respectable ; 
 and we may surely imagine that had 
 Rousseau possessed a taxed cart, 
 instead of being allowed (for States 
 unthinkingly permit such poverty) to 
 want other means of travelling than 
 those he had of nature, he would for 
 life have kept his way betwixt the 
 hedgerows : would have met there no 
 " Nouvelle Heloise," and would have 
 left no " Confessions" to delight those 
 who like to look over the fence, yet hope, 
 for themselves, to stay on the right side 
 of it. 
 
 It must have happened to any one 
 who takes accouni of his sensations to 
 have noticed with what hesitancy, in the 
 beginning of his holiday at a country 
 place, he has stood upon the highway 
 and regarded a little footroad across 
 some meadow where the grass grows 
 long — looking well at the width of it, 
 and speculating on the length of time
 
 Scintillae of its uscr. The narrowness of the 
 Juris v^^ay serves to accentuate the rights of 
 property, which, though, may be, it 
 infringes them, it would appease by 
 pointing to the triviahty of its trespass. 
 He observes how a footpath seldom 
 takes the most direct way, though 
 usually it is the strailest. It occurs to 
 him that should he leave the high-road 
 where he stands — a road consecrated 
 by time and consent of parish authori- 
 ties to the use of all the world — 
 and should he pursue that other less 
 hallowed track, he deserts the ways of 
 citizens, and avails himself of the con- 
 venient walks of vagrants, the shameful 
 sentiers of tramps. A civilised man 
 receives a shock when first he turns 
 into a mere footpath, without kerbstone 
 or gutter, with nothing to tell authori- 
 tatively where it may lead him if he 
 follow it, and which so skirts the 
 property of others that he is ever 
 treading over the boundary between 
 communism and exclusive proprietor- 
 ship. He has an uneasy sense that, if 
 he be not in fact a trespasser himself, 
 he is taking advantage of the wrongs 
 of worse and bolder men. There Hves 
 not now in England, we may well 
 believe, a man who would scruple to 
 
 I02
 
 use a Roman road because, perchance, Of 
 it may pass over the broken hearth- Footpaths 
 stone of Caractacus or Boadicea. It is 
 only the recency of a wrong which makes 
 it wrong at all. But he who can un- 
 concernedly turn aside into a country- 
 lane must have little left of the feeling 
 of a good citizen ; and none but a gipsy, 
 or a hardened tourist by profession, 
 can use a bare footpath without some 
 painful emotion. It requires that con- 
 tempt for our law which only great 
 learning in it can produce to arrive at 
 the callous state of mind of one who 
 was lately a Judge amongst us. Of him 
 it has been said that, being taken knee- 
 deep in growing corn or waving grass, 
 he would offer to the capturing rustic 
 a shilling, and say, " Take notice that I 
 claim no right of way here ; and I offer 
 you this money as compensation for 
 the damage done by my trespass." 
 Such dealing is impossible to him who 
 sees in the permission of the law but 
 a poor justification to set before an 
 offended sense of rectitude, and to 
 whom no amends whatever for a vio- 
 lated right may seem the same thing as 
 the observance of it. It is a rude con- 
 science that can satisfy itself for an 
 advantage taken of deviations from 
 
 103
 
 Scintillae propriety by earlier wayfarers in rc- 
 Juris peating that " commimis error facit jus ; " 
 for this hideous maxim of our law is a 
 direct incitement to the taking of that 
 initial step in illegality which shall 
 become a precedent for other wrongs, 
 and so in time a starting-point of legal 
 right. 
 
 Perhaps, however, to the quite un- 
 thinking troop — who may use them as 
 the cattle dc^these footpaths are not 
 so dangerous. They cannot be to any 
 one without some ill effect, some blurr- 
 ing of the edges between mine and 
 thine, between the allowable and the 
 illicit ; but it is chiefly to the thought- 
 ful, the unemployed seeker after health 
 or pleasure, that their use must be 
 harmful, A donkey may travel them, 
 and may emerge again upon the turn- 
 pike no worse a donkey than he left it 
 — for not every ass is so sensitive as 
 Balaam's to the dangers of the road ; 
 but to a man of urban habits this were 
 impossible. Such a deviation from the 
 ascertained and limited road, which is 
 his because it is the Queen's, will 
 destroy in him that unquestioning 
 assent to the exclusion of the public 
 from most land, except it be paved and 
 lighted, which twenty years' familiarity 
 104
 
 with Pall Mall has induced and con- Of 
 firmed. Let such an one be stopped Footpaths 
 by some stern tenant of newly planted 
 acres just as he has taken ten steps 
 upon an undedicated road, and his first 
 excuse will betray the extent of his 
 confusion of thought, the obliquity of 
 his moral vision. He will give up 
 his intention of proceeding ; he will 
 perhaps apologise for having come to 
 the point where he stands ; but he will 
 at once claim a title to repeat his 
 trespass in a contrary sense, and will 
 be violent instead of contrite if it be 
 denied that he have any right to go 
 back again. 
 
 It were easy to go on from this point 
 — when I have demonstrated the lurk- 
 ing dangers of all footpaths— and to 
 show how these treacherous ways have 
 their counterparts extending their re- 
 ticulations over all the surface of human 
 affairs. The philosopher may, if it 
 please him, notice in the " agitations " 
 with which in politics we have become 
 so carelessly familiar only another ex- 
 ample of the footpath, pushing itself 
 sinuously but surely towards and across 
 the fields of rightful owners — soon to 
 be broadened and beaten into a public 
 road, and at last handed over to the 
 
 105
 
 Scintillae authorities of the State. It is for this 
 Juris reason, we may suppose, that the nicely 
 constituted mind shrinks from parti- 
 cipation in popular movements ; for, 
 indeed, they are but trespasses — in- 
 vading, it may be, a pleasant region 
 somewhat wastefuUy cultivated, but 
 trespasses none the less. This is the 
 truth, we may fancy, concerning that 
 " germ " theory in legislation with which 
 we were lately made acquainted. It 
 might, indeed, be equally well known 
 as the footprint theory : the more law- 
 respecting raiders look anxiously on 
 the ground they would enter for the 
 vestige of a trespasser before them, 
 and point to the trace of a wrong they 
 have discovered as sanctioning those 
 they would commit. 
 
 Le premier pas is always a terminus 
 a quo. 
 
 1 06
 
 HAIL, misty morn, whereon our Cras 
 Law awakes Animarum 
 
 From slumber, and with clear if veiled 
 
 eyes, 
 Does from her couch of wool refreshed 
 
 arise ; 
 Her powdered locks adown her 
 
 shoulder shakes ; 
 And for her Courts her chamber dim 
 
 forsakes ; 
 But first her homely aspect must dis- 
 guise 
 In coif, and ermine, and those regal 
 
 dyes 
 With wliich rude Force her strength 
 
 majestic makes. 
 
 To thronging suitors — who her coming 
 
 wait. 
 With plaint of meditated wrong — her 
 
 aid 
 Fair Equity, Law's gentler sister, 
 
 brings ; 
 Hastening to meet them even at her 
 
 gate. 
 To still their fears ere yet they seem 
 
 afraid. 
 And guard the young beneath her 
 
 ample wings. 
 
 107
 
 MEDITATIONS IN THE TEA 
 ROOM jt BY THE HON. MR. 
 JUSTICE DARLING 
 
 FOURTH EDITION
 
 Order is broke in thinges of weight, 
 Measure and meane who doth not flee, 
 
 Two thinges prevaile, money and sleight, 
 To seeme is better than to btt. 
 
 THE EARL OF SURREY
 
 PREFACE TO FIRST EDITION 
 
 THESE MY MEDITATIONS ARE 
 the result of those hours of leisure 
 of which public life is for the most part 
 made up. 
 
 Since they are the production of a 
 Member of Parliament they will, I doubt 
 not, be allowed some value ; whether 
 because all statements made by us are 
 entitled to the respect they commonly 
 receive, or because the true thoughts 
 and views of a Member were never 
 before publicly expressed, I care not 
 to inquire. 
 
 I wish I could have gratified those of 
 my constituents whom, in spite of their 
 voting against me, I still represent, by 
 putting my name upon the title-page of 
 this little volume. But to have the 
 courage of one's opinions is too danger- 
 ous a possession for me to claim — pre- 
 ferring, as I do, to have the good 
 opinion of the world rather than to 
 deserve it. 
 
 H 113
 
 I 
 
 N LISTENING ATTENTIVELY, I 
 
 as is my habit, to the debates, I Meditations 
 
 find that I travel far away from the \^ ^^^ '^^^ 
 V . . , J r Room 
 
 business in hand as a consequence of 
 
 following too closely those who dis- 
 course about it. That I may return to 
 the point in issue I withdraw to the 
 Tea Room and wait until my thoughts, 
 driven and scattered in all directions, 
 come back from the voyages upon 
 which they have been sent. 
 
 Though I do not remember to have 
 been able to notice anything novel, or 
 indeed anything at all whilst I con- 
 tinued on these journeys outwards, yet 
 in returning pensively from some of 
 them I have picked up curiosities which 
 I had not noticed before. Why this 
 should be so I know not. Perhaps it 
 happens because, w!;en following 
 another, we go out fast along a single 
 path which he knows by experience, 
 and, being abandoned at the end of 
 it, we grope our way back again by 
 many devious ways. Perhaps it is be- 
 cause we always go backwards into the 
 future, as Pazso, the first del Pazsi rode 
 home from the Crusades when he bore 
 the sacred flame which still flickers 
 in Florence, keeping our eyes fixed 
 upon the nearest portion of the past ; 
 
 1^5
 
 1 so that the discoveries we make and 
 
 Meditations hold are ever something short of the 
 in the Tea farthest point that we have reached. 
 Room Til 4 * 
 
 In any case, to explore we must turn 
 
 round. It seems to me that we find 
 what is fresh in retracing our steps 
 rather than in running forwards ; as 
 we open up a new world by ascending 
 the Nile till we come to the oldest. 
 
 Wherefore I care not to be of those 
 who profess to remark the latest foot- 
 print and start forwards from the toe 
 of it. On a globe such a manner of 
 travelling onwards may be neither so 
 easy, nor so direct, as going backwards 
 — as any thoughtful person, especially 
 if he happen to be a geographer, will 
 at once admit. 
 
 Prejudice apart, I can go very well 
 to the east by turning my back upon 
 Constantinople, and following the 
 setting sun. 
 
 So when what we are pleased to 
 call " the "West " was discovered by 
 Columbus he voyaged to " the East " 
 of set purpose, carrying a letter to the 
 Cham of Tartary, and only discovered 
 America by unhappy accident. That 
 he did, by taking this course, chance to 
 run into so considerable an obstacle as 
 a new world may seem to make against 
 n6
 
 the manner of journeying which I, and I 
 
 Columbus before me, have adopted. Meditations 
 But, for my part, I see in it rather '^^^^ "^^ 
 a proof that novelty exists all around 
 us, and that we are as likely to make 
 discoveries by taking one road as 
 another ; while any path will lead us 
 forwards, and back again, if only we 
 walk long enough right on. 
 
 In the complete cycle of eternity — if 
 ever it be completed — the most distant 
 future must touch and join the remotest 
 past ; while the present is the antipodes 
 of both — as any geometrician can prove 
 for such as may doubt. 
 
 Events are of little importance at the 
 time of their birth. We do not under- 
 stand them — for at first nothing speaks 
 plainly — and when they have learned 
 our own language they talk only 
 commonplace. 
 
 As to the future we know the name 
 of it, and that is all. So much of it as 
 we can see is in effect the present. 
 For the rest 'tis good to gamble with 
 in many fashions. 
 
 But a mere trifle in the past is often, 
 by its position, of a real magnitude un- 
 attainable by anything in all the time to 
 come. Thus, to go back no further, we 
 see that the existence of Adam and Eve 
 
 117
 
 I is by the scientific treated as of vastly 
 
 Meditations more interest and importance than that 
 '" R(X)m °^ ^^^ *^^ millions in the latest census. 
 
 The first man who stood upon the 
 earth was himself subsequent to the 
 greatest of all wonders, and it is no 
 marvel that for ages the world was 
 content to look back. 
 
 We may make much ado, unreflect- 
 ing, over the marriage of a king. But 
 ask Mr. Darwin whether it is com- 
 parable in significance to the courtship 
 of the earliest oyster. 
 
 We should learn more from the first 
 monkey, he would tell you, than from 
 the last man. 
 
 Wherefore, let us set out from this 
 our advanced position, and return upon 
 our steps without delay. 
 
 It occurs to me here that I had not 
 before mentioned any point, advanced 
 or otherwise, to which I had been led. 
 It is a fact, however, that I had listened 
 for hours to a dispute concerning the 
 image and legend to be stamped upon 
 the half-pence for use in one of our 
 distant provinces. 
 
 What a world lies behind us if we 
 start from half-pence ! 
 Ii8
 
 1 
 
 T WAS VERY NATURAL THAT II 
 
 the first man who thought himself Meditations 
 
 ^ in the ^ 
 
 Room 
 
 of more consequence than his neigh '" 
 
 hours should have desired to be king 
 and reign over them ; but it is little 
 short of marvellous that they should 
 have ever allowed him to do so ; for, 
 as Algernon Sidney observes, " there 
 is no natural propensity in man or 
 beast to monarchy." Publicists gene- 
 rally refer the orioin of kingship to 
 some organiser and leader of a band of 
 thieves and cut-throats, and suppose 
 that, upon the success of their enter- 
 prise, they who had committed many 
 crimes of treachery and violence sub- 
 mitted themselves to him who had per- 
 petrated more — hailed him primus inter 
 pares ^ and thenceforth obeyed him, 
 and at length his grand-daughters. 
 Although this explanation of the be- 
 ginning of monarchy is less majestic 
 than that theory of divine right which 
 lingers yet about the world, it is I fancy 
 the true one none the less. Le premier 
 qui flit roi Jut tin soldiit heureiix. 
 
 It would seem then that the pillaging 
 of neighbours was the first object of 
 monarchical government, and all other 
 States were, doubtless, organised to the 
 same end. It is, however, commonly 
 
 119
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 II said that the State was formed for 
 
 Meditations purposes of defence and protection : 
 and this may be in a manner correct ; 
 for strategists are agreed in consider- 
 ing that such objects are best attained 
 by a vigorous offensive. 
 
 I notice the basis of States not merely 
 on account of the historical interest 
 attaching to all speculation on such 
 matters, but because a wrong opinion 
 upon this subject is, as it seems to me, 
 at the root of many of the sayings and 
 doings of persons of a fitful importance 
 and influence amongst us. To me it 
 appears an error to suppose that all 
 large bodies exist for the preservation 
 of the small, and that strength is only 
 to be exercised in order to the per- 
 petuation of weakness. It is in 
 observing the real reason for the 
 existence of States, that we must 
 recognise how foolish it is to affect 
 sympathy for the little assemblies of 
 men who, because they speak a lan- 
 guage known to no people but them- 
 selves, imagine they are entitled to 
 all the advantages obtained by those 
 who receive as their due large conces- 
 sions representing exactly that which 
 they could take were they minded to 
 be rapacious.
 
 Whatever be the form of its govern- II 
 
 ment, a State is but a body of a certain Meditations 
 number whose prejudices or interests i? ^°^ ^^* 
 do on the whole separate them less 
 from one another than from the rest of 
 the world. The unity amongst these 
 people is not generally considerable, 
 yet autonomy, or independence, they 
 ever profess to desire above all earthly 
 things. Severance from other nations, 
 selfish and sacred isolation from those 
 who dwell beyond a river, or a hill, 
 this is what they really hope to obtain. 
 But men whose own domain is well 
 secured by the obstacles of nature 
 are of all the most predatory and 
 aggressive. Security from attack soon 
 suggests the invasion of less protected 
 districts. No people would trouble 
 itself with any State organisation, if 
 its only hope and purpose were to 
 remain in contentment at home. The 
 individual, the family, the tribe, may 
 make up the nation ; but the soldier, 
 the company, the regiment, are neces- 
 sary to constitute the State. Then, 
 since there must be a country to forage 
 over, or no supplies can come to hand, 
 the taxpayer, the collector, the treasurer, 
 are as needful as the sabre and the gun. 
 An apparatus for supplying the means 
 
 121
 
 II to act in concert must he provided ; 
 
 Meditations and it is for this that we have tyrannies, 
 
 in the Tea monarchies, federations, and repubhcs. 
 
 °°"^ with all their details of princedoms and 
 
 duchies, their senates, parliaments, and 
 
 assemblies, each with its appropriate 
 
 incidents of cabinet, and cabal, caucus, 
 
 and committee. 
 
 I know that it is the common view of 
 lawyers that the State exists to secure 
 the liberties of its citizens ; but eccle- 
 siastics have been not less firmly per- 
 suaded that its chief purpose is to 
 provide tithe, and oppress heretics. 
 The people at large cannot be said to 
 agree very well as to what is the 
 true object of the State ; though 
 each class looks for favour to itself, 
 and is ready to complain loudly of 
 similar pretensions in others. 
 
 Now it is the merest affectation to 
 speak of the State as the means of 
 securing liberty, however that word be 
 defined ; for, as there can be no State 
 without subjects, it is plain that free- 
 dom is exactly that which all States 
 are designed to abolish. If, however, 
 we once concede that we desire the 
 " liberty of wise restraint," we admit 
 that coercion is what we would have 
 in the place of choice. Obedience, 
 
 122
 
 though compelled by the gentle force II 
 
 of the humanest laws, is no more free- Meditations 
 dom than is abject submission to a ^ 2^ 
 conquering host. This is no reproach 
 to civilisation ; only it is sometimes 
 not sufficiently remembered by re- 
 formers. 
 
 Though those who have chosen 
 to themselves rulers have deUberately 
 agreed not for the future to do as 
 they please, some do nevertheless con- 
 stantly struggle to get back something 
 of what by implication they have re- 
 linquished. These things they call 
 their rights, and speak as though they 
 had possessed and afterwards unjustly 
 lost them ; yet the matter may be 
 otherwise regarded, if one will be 
 impartial. If the companions of the 
 Vikings did not reserve their " rights 
 of conscience," this is probably because 
 they knew nothing of the pleasure to 
 be derived from praying in a manner 
 annoying to one's fellows ; but it is 
 quite possible that they were aware of 
 this pastime, and thought it unseemly. 
 If they did not stipulate for the "liberty 
 of the press," this is perhaps because 
 the liberties later taken by the press 
 were not known to them ; though it may 
 be that they disliked such hcence, and 
 
 123
 
 II resolved to forego it. Those who have 
 
 Meditations erected for posterity a cathedral or 
 
 in the Tea palace may intentionally have built 
 Room t^ . ^ ^ 
 
 them a prison as well. 
 
 I would not be understood to mean 
 that the people have been unwise in 
 fighting for charters, liberties, and 
 settlements ; yet the benefits they 
 have most hardly obtained are, per- 
 haps, not so valuable as is commonly 
 supposed, and are never thoroughly 
 enjoyed by any except the turbulent 
 and litigious. The dissent of a dis- 
 senter makes, after all, but a small 
 part of his life ; a Quaker were little 
 the worse for having to take an oath 
 now and then ; nor does a peaceful 
 citizen often need a habeas corpus. 
 Many of those incidents of our Con- 
 stitution which some represent as its 
 foundations are in fact no more than 
 luxuries of complaint, enjoyed by 
 reason of the general content which 
 prevails. And this wide-spread con- 
 tentedness itself is the effect less of 
 freedom at home than of domination 
 abroad. "A few paternal acres " will 
 satisfy nothing but an ox. 
 
 If we as a nation have given up 
 following each of us his own will, this 
 can be made up to us only by our 
 124
 
 taking away at least as much liberty II 
 
 from other peoples. Perfect anarchy Meditations 
 may remain within its own city or ^" *^^ ^** 
 country, but they who consent to be 
 governed by the opinion of one or the 
 majority among them, will repay them- 
 selves for their concessions at home by 
 dictating elsewhere. When the French, 
 after 1793, found that even repubhcans 
 must follow some one, they strove to 
 make the world follow them ; and the 
 tricolour at once began to go the round 
 of Europe. They had not, on the whole, 
 that large measure of success which has 
 attended the arms of England ; and, 
 having for near a century been in 
 the end unhappy in their enterprises 
 abroad, they have not yet turned 
 themselves to the righting of minute 
 grievances at home. Had Ville- 
 neuve won Trafalgar, and Bonaparte 
 Waterloo, I daresay there would now 
 be salt-spoons and sugar-tongs in all the 
 restaurants of Paris. 
 
 As to ourselves, we probably make 
 more laws than suffice, merely to have 
 the pleasure of widely enforcing them. 
 We impose freedom on some who have 
 not cared to seek it ; and although for 
 public instruction we dredge up from 
 the bottom of the ocean creatures 
 
 125
 
 II which at once explode in our liands, 
 
 Meditations ^re do not remember the lesson when 
 '" R would remove accustomed pres- 
 
 sure from off other low organisations. 
 Moreover, the knowledge that we 
 are rulers in so many lands leads us to 
 make every-day use of what were of 
 old the privileges of kings. The right 
 by which our people claim to know the 
 policy and opinions of the Government 
 they do not rest more upon the justice 
 of their deciding upon the laws they 
 are to obey than on their responsibility 
 for the effect which they suppose their 
 precepts and example will have upon 
 nations their dependents or disciples. 
 It is as a " sovereign people " that they 
 hold themselves entitled to lay at 
 the foot of the throne their bills and 
 petitions, with no other explanation 
 than Oest noire plaisir ; to which the 
 monarch meekly replies, Le Roy Ic 
 veult. In England the Parliament is to 
 the king what in France the king was 
 to the Parliament. Perhaps it is strange 
 that persons having resolved to decree 
 something, should then throw upon 
 another the responsibihty of declaring 
 their will to be their law. But men 
 have ever sought the sanction of vague 
 authority for acts which they consider 
 126
 
 important; and, while some would listen II 
 
 to nothing less than the word of an Meditations 
 oracle, others have been satisfied with '" m 
 tossing up a halfpenny. Which of 
 these processes the making of Acts of 
 Parliament most resembles I leave to 
 the decision of those who have to study 
 and enforce them. 
 
 I have now intimated sufficiently my 
 view that the State is rather a fortress, 
 mainly designed for offence, than a 
 city for refuge. If, with old writers, 
 we liken it to a ship, then with a man- 
 of-war only can we make the com- 
 parison. It serves for us to live in, 
 but cramps us sadly ; securely enough 
 we can sleep, but soundly never ; dis- 
 cipline we bear, but love it no more 
 than lime-juice. Meanwhile we can 
 play the policeman, the missionary, and 
 the bandit, as we choose. We can free 
 the slave by enslaving his master ; we 
 can dress whole nations in our shoddy ; 
 we can dye that shoddy scarlet ; we 
 can teach the goose-step where we 
 please ; and cry "March!" And all 
 this throughout an Empire so ex- 
 tensive that in some part of it thou- 
 sands are always sitting down to 
 breakfast — provided they arc not 
 dying of hunger. 
 
 127
 
 II It is from this point that we may best 
 
 Meditations consider the position of a statesman, 
 in the Tea -j-^ ^^^ ^^^ gj^^^ j^ precisely what his 
 Room . . 1 J :, , 
 
 army is to a general, and, as there have 
 
 been " retreating generals " and " fight- 
 ing generals" — both very valuable in 
 their way — so have we had statesmen 
 who, though commanding in chief, have 
 spent all their energies in defending 
 some little block-house upon the 
 frontier of affairs while the enemy has 
 been at the gates of their capital. So 
 have we seen, since Commodus, those 
 who preferred the common arena, and 
 ignoble weapons, to all that higher 
 strategy which their position required 
 them to employ. Many have we fol- 
 lowed, gallant as the warriors of La 
 Vendee, or obstinate as that corporal 
 who chose to be decapitated by a 
 Chinaman rather than admit that the 
 Queen of England is less directly de- 
 scended from the moon than is the 
 Celestial emperor himself. But few 
 indeed are the names of those who, 
 over all the field of battle, and through 
 all the dust and smoke of the combat, 
 have looked forth with calmness to act 
 with wisdom. Numberless are the 
 little commanders whose plan for ten 
 campaigns has been simply to relax 
 128
 
 discipline, to improve the rations, or to II 
 
 carryforward a banner because it is an Meditations 
 ^1^ X„/, >ri the Tea 
 
 old one. Room 
 
 "Why should we not . . . 
 
 129
 
 I KNOW NOT WHERE MY RE- III 
 
 flections would have led me — for Meditations 
 indeed I was about to ask myself some l? *^' ^*^* 
 momentous question, to which, I doubt 
 not, I had a sufficient answer prepared 
 — but at that instant of time, which, as 
 will have been noticed, I have carefully 
 indicated by asterisks, I was summoned 
 to take my part in a division of the 
 House. 
 
 When, after performing this cere- 
 mony, I returned to my arm-chair, I 
 began to remember — with something 
 of regret, perhaps — that in a space of 
 twenty minutes I had pledged myself 
 to a war with some dusky potentate 
 whose name I could not recall to my 
 memory — if indeed, I had ever heard 
 it. Thus my thoughts, which I hoped 
 I had marked in such manner that I 
 could return and pick them up at my 
 leisure, were nowhere to be found 
 again. In vain did I at last remember 
 to have arrived at the point, " Why 
 should we not . , . ?" Beyond this 
 all was waste, desolate, uncertain. 
 
 Ah, had I but been allowed to ask, 
 and answer, tliat one question, who can 
 say what results would not have fol- 
 lowed ? Let not any one conclude that 
 I should have settled nothing remark- 
 
 131
 
 Ill able because, up to that point, no 
 
 Meditations definite gain had resulted from my 
 
 '"**'r^^* cogitations. By what right do you, 
 
 "^ who jog his elbow, complain that the 
 
 astronomer discovers no new planet ? 
 
 In that moment it has passed across the 
 
 heavens . . . perhaps. 
 
 But, did I design to abandon here the 
 attempt to regain the place at which 
 just now I had arrived, should I allow 
 myself to accept each invitation to 
 digression as it presents itself, what a 
 chapter could I not write on division- 
 bells ! No ; I am resolved to resume, 
 if possible, the line of my interrupted 
 meditations. 
 
 And yet, those division-bells. Tyran- 
 nous as are all bells, surely they are the 
 most tyrannical. Even now they ob- 
 trude themselves upon me, though I 
 have firmly determined to think no 
 more about them. 
 
 Still they repeat that they will be 
 heard, in spite of all my resolutions not 
 to listen. For other alarums — to con- 
 sider them for a moment only — I could 
 find much to say in their praise. The 
 dinner-bell, the passing-bell, and even 
 the marriage-bells, all of them com- 
 mend themselves to us, to our tolera- 
 tion, at the least ; for are not dinners, 
 132
 
 death, and marriage indispensable? HI 
 and do not men forget to dine, more to Meditations 
 marry, and to die ? But why divide ? Room 
 and why so often ? Is vmion grown so 
 common, and so harmful, that we must 
 all be seeking occasions for distrust 
 and difference ? And are we so likely 
 to forget to express our dissent that we 
 must have bells and clappers to recall 
 us from our inattention ? 
 
 I will finish here this chapter, for I 
 am resolved to tolerate in it no digres- 
 sion, and I see that I am fast approach- 
 ing some delicate questions relating to 
 factions and their justification. Here, 
 then, they shall not intrude. I banish 
 them, I banish them to the other side 
 of the page, which, unless you look 
 there, is as good as the end of eternity. 
 
 133
 
 N 
 
 OTHING COULD WELL BE IV 
 X^ more interesting, nor more un- Meditations 
 profitable, than to inquire whether '^J^^^J '^^^ 
 among savages the best or the worst of 
 them first formed for themselves some 
 ruling power. Probably both sorts of 
 men found their account in choosing 
 chiefs and making laws. It is to be 
 supposed that all see some advantage 
 in having a Government, whatever be 
 the form of it ; and it is to the credit of 
 the English that they have contrived 
 to beUeve themselves free, and to find 
 themselves happy, under so many 
 degrees of restraint as have at different 
 times been imposed upon them. 
 
 The English Constitution has this 
 supreme merit : it is founded on mutual 
 jealousy and distrust, and not upon 
 any of those refined but false theories 
 which have dazzled and deceived so 
 many other nations. " Si Ton veut 
 lire," says Montesquieu, " I'admirable 
 ouvrage de Tacite sur les mceurs des 
 Germains, on verra que c'est d'eux que 
 les Anglais ont tire I'idee de leur 
 gouvernement politique. Ce beau sys- 
 teme a ete trouve dans les bois." I 
 like this sylvan origin, and to trace its 
 indications in the upas trees and other 
 growths which even now overshadow 
 
 135
 
 IV us. But to find a system of Govcrn- 
 
 Meditations meat in the woods, what was it ? The 
 '" ^^Room explanation is not far to seek. The 
 essential part of our political system 
 has over and over again been declared 
 to consist in the checks provided to pre- 
 vent any portion of the Government 
 from acting for itself and carrying out 
 fully its own views of what is ex- 
 pedient. 
 
 Sometimes this means compromise, 
 at others coercion ; it has meant civil 
 war, but whichever form it may take, 
 it is always part of our system. 
 
 In the woods, it may be, there was 
 less compromise than now, and more 
 coercion, or of a different sort ; but, 
 perhaps, men at that time only opposed 
 proposals when they disapproved of 
 them, and not because honour or con- 
 sistency, as we say now, obliged them 
 to differ always from certain other 
 men. That a method which allows the 
 King to declare war against the friends 
 of the people, the Commons to ordain 
 taxes for the Lords to pay them, and 
 the Peers to reject bills which affect 
 only the Commons, should have been 
 found so agreeable to our natures, 
 can only be accounted for by noticing 
 that each has his chance of annoying 
 136
 
 another. Thus a constant irritation is IV 
 
 kept up, very stimulating to the body Meditations 
 
 Room 
 
 politic, which seems to find it— as Lord *" ^*** ^*^* 
 
 Shaftesbury, in his " Characteristics," 
 says some did the itch — " highly accept- 
 able and delightful." 
 
 I suppose it was in the woods, where 
 they had observed the good effects of 
 having now a fine day and then a wet 
 one, that our ancestors conceived the 
 happy idea of governing by party. 
 Other nations might think a king, or 
 a democracy, perfection for governing 
 purposes — no one ever thought that 
 half the people, or rather more, would 
 invariably be in the right. But to be 
 ruled first by one half and then by the 
 other — first by those we esteem wise 
 and good, and then by those we hold 
 foolish and vicious — this was a fresh 
 notion indeed, and every way worthy 
 of woodmen. 
 
 It is the fault of some representative 
 Governments that they have allowed 
 many to persuade themselves that the 
 people are rightebusly governed only 
 when their own wishes, or those of the 
 majority, prevail. Yet no active poli- 
 tician believes anything of the kind. 
 The representatives of the people — 
 being chosen to rule them and bind 
 
 '37
 
 IV them, as kings were chosen to do — 
 Meditations have afterwards only that obligation to 
 in the Tea ^hich an absolute monarch was sub- 
 °°"^ ject ; they must act honestly, but are 
 not bound to please. I have no doubt 
 that this proposition v/ill seem false to 
 many who have the franchise, and who 
 think themselves entitled to be con- 
 sulted at every turn in affairs. Their 
 leaders, however — even the most popu- 
 lar of them — have acted in accordance 
 with the theory I have just expressed. 
 Without staying to accumulate examples 
 of this, I may mention the appeal which 
 in 1874 Mr. Gladstone's Government 
 made from the Parliament to the elec- 
 tors. That he had misunderstood the 
 wishes of the nation, every one knows, 
 and he fell from power to post-cards 
 as a consequence of his mistake. But 
 nobody imagines that he would have 
 consulted the country at all had he 
 suspected that it was against him. It 
 is equally certain that Lord Beacons- 
 field would have more than doubled 
 his influence on the Continent in the 
 autumn of 1877 if he had dissolved 
 the Parliament, and had received the 
 votes of the majority at the follow- 
 ing election ; but, knowing very well 
 that of this there was no chance, he 
 138
 
 preferred to govern the people by IV 
 
 those who represented them, but not Meditations 
 their opinions, rather than to give up ^ ™* 
 either his policy or his place. 
 
 Whether or not party government 
 is more absolute where the form of 
 monarchy has been preserved, is a nice 
 question. I am inclined to think that, 
 where there is a Sovereign, Ministers 
 may be more unscrupulous than where 
 there is none ; for the theory that the 
 Ministry are responsible for the advice 
 they give to the Crown in effect con- 
 verts that into mere counsel which else 
 were an act done with their own hands ; 
 and part of the popular wrath will be 
 spent upon the King and his permanent 
 executive, to the relief of his removable 
 counsellors. This is not the less true 
 now that the monarch is never in effect 
 a member of the opposition. It was 
 easy enough for George III. to take ad- 
 vantage of the unpopularity of the 
 Coalition Ministry, for the term " His 
 Majesty's Opposition" then meant a 
 body who received more of his confi- 
 dence than did his Ministers ; but when 
 no protest from the throne is ever 
 heard, whatever the Cabinet may re- 
 solve to do, it is impossible for the 
 Sovereign not to share to a greater 
 
 139
 
 IV extent the unpopularity of a policy than 
 
 Meditations it was in the days when the people were 
 
 in the Tea ^^j^j ^j^^^j Hanover was contemplated by 
 
 °° " the King as a refuge from his Ministers 
 
 and the acts they did in his name. 
 
 The principal difficulty which now 
 stands in the way of those whose lot it 
 is to govern by means of a party is 
 caused by the large amount of accord 
 which really exists amongst all the pre- 
 sent electors and their representatives, 
 although they are divided into factions 
 professing different opinions. Agree- 
 ment in principle has never yet pre- 
 vented politicians by profession from 
 opposing one another, and it has 
 seldom been difference of opinion only 
 which has kept them apart. Pitt would 
 have been a Whig to his death, as he 
 was on first entering the House of 
 Commons, but that there were just 
 then too many Whigs of ability, and 
 when he did not receive a place in the 
 Rockingham Administration, he saw 
 open to him a greater part as a Tory 
 than as a Whig of secondary import- 
 ance. There is not room in an Eng- 
 lish party for two men of remarkable 
 abilities and of nearly the same age or 
 experience ; as there is not place for 
 two kings on one tlirone. If a man of 
 140
 
 ambition begins party life without much IV 
 
 consideration — as is generally the case Meditations 
 
 —it is often a necessity that he shall '^^^^ "^^^ 
 
 change his allegiance, and carry his 
 
 abilities where they are most needed, 
 
 or can most benefit himself. It is no 
 
 more a reproach to Pitt that he started 
 
 as a Whig than to Erskine that he 
 
 changed the uniform of the army for 
 
 the robe of Chancellor ; nor was Mr. 
 
 Gladstone more bound to remain a 
 
 Tory than Fox was. If a party leader 
 
 remain an Englishman we have all we 
 
 can expect from the best of them. But 
 
 though, as I have said, the chiefs will 
 
 contrive not to be all on the same side, 
 
 it is nevertheless difficult to set in array 
 
 against each other large bodies of men 
 
 who have no great gain to hope for in 
 
 the strife, and no real hatred for those 
 
 they have been taught to call their 
 
 enemies. Now it is the fact that at 
 
 present there is nothing a man can ask 
 
 for at the hands of the Legislature 
 
 which he is not as likely to get from 
 
 one of our political parties as from the 
 
 other ; although one of them may give 
 
 freely from another's store, and the 
 
 other grudgingly from his own. 
 
 It is a terrible thing to contemplate, 
 but it is possible that the complete 
 
 141
 
 IV prevalence of liberal opinions may in 
 
 Meditations timedo away altogether with the Liberal 
 in the Tea p^rty ; and it is indeed questionable 
 Room ^jjg^j^gj. this process has not already 
 proceeded so far, by reason of the en- 
 lightenment and political education of 
 every one, that it is high time to invent 
 some disputable matters to replace the 
 worn-out ones we received from our 
 grandfathers, lest our boasted system 
 of Government perish in general agree- 
 ment. 
 
 It is easy to see that theology will 
 form the subject of our next divisions ; 
 but even these quarrels may be ar- 
 ranged, and the question what to divide 
 about will present itself anew. Be- 
 lieving, as I firmly do, that it is of vital 
 importance to the interests of our 
 country that the Russells and the 
 Stanleys, the Cavendishes and the 
 Grenvilles, should continue their here- 
 ditary controversies after all the old 
 topics of liberty of the subject, divine 
 right, trial by jury, and non-resistance 
 have been for ever laid to rest, I would 
 suggest that science shall next become 
 the prey of our politicians. I am sure 
 that houses who have wrangled over 
 the colour of their stockings, the curli- 
 ness of their wigs, and the number and 
 142
 
 position of the patches on their cheeks, IV 
 
 will be at no loss to make cases of con- Meditations 
 science out of the problems which ^J^^ '* 
 natural science so plentifully presents. 
 Besides the improvement in our foreign 
 policy which would result from the 
 withdrawal of it from the number of 
 subjects criticised and explained on the 
 hustings, there would be the further 
 advantage to be found in the assistance 
 which astronomers, and all other pro- 
 fessors of the sciences and arts, could 
 not fail to derive from learning the views 
 of those free and independent electors 
 who have never hitherto been abashed 
 by any problem presented to them, no 
 matter how new or abstruse. 
 
 It is as necessary to the working of 
 our Government that there should be 
 two parties in the State as that there 
 should be King, Lords and Commons ; 
 but it is not at all required that these 
 parties should diverge upon questions 
 of vital or even of considerable impor- 
 tance to the body politic ; and it were 
 to be wished that, whether they are 
 reduced to it by necessity or not, they 
 would contrive to contend about mat- 
 ters of such a nature that the strife 
 could bring no good to the foes of the 
 country. Let it be recognised that 
 
 »43
 
 IV parties are designed for the purpose of 
 Meditations giving to every one his turn in govern- 
 in the Tea j^g ^[3 fellows, which agreement 
 Room j-gj^jjej-s impossible, and then divide 
 into opposing bands upon any question 
 you please — as whether an acid should 
 be preferred to an alkali. 
 
 If it be said that the public would 
 not interest itself in such questions 
 enough to divide and do battle about 
 them, I would point to that well-known 
 loyalty which each party attributes to 
 itself, and which I concede impartially 
 to both of them. Should the chiefs of 
 our present factions command it, their 
 followers would interest themselves in 
 algebra, or pronounce a firm opinion 
 as to the composition of the sun, so 
 soon as they had learned what declara- 
 tion was expected of them on that 
 subject. 
 
 There is one resource of Enghsh 
 party leaders which those of other 
 nations possess for the most part in a 
 far less degree ; and it is so useful that 
 we should be careful to use it economi- 
 cally : as when once employed it can 
 never be replaced. One might despair 
 of producing new combinations, so as 
 to give each party its turn, were it not 
 for the fact that, not having a universal 
 144
 
 suffrage, wc have the means of adding IV 
 to one of our parties from time to time ; Meditations 
 and so producing among the electors rqqj^ 
 that balance which is effected in the 
 House of Lords by the creation of 
 Peers. "When equilibrium has been 
 produced as the result of our political 
 see-sawing, things can only be set 
 moving again by adding to one of tht 
 equalised forces ; and this increase has 
 so far been always given to one party. 
 Perhaps, however, when the consider- 
 able fund of low life, which happily is 
 yet left to us, shall have been com- 
 pletely exhausted, we shall see the 
 opposite party enlarged by the granting 
 to wealth, or high intelligence, a greater 
 share of power than that to which 
 mere existence entitles every man ; for, 
 it is probable that those who are com- 
 paratively able, or rich, will ever exceed 
 in number all those who have nothing 
 whatever in common with their fellows 
 but a descent from Adam, large as this 
 number is. Therefore when the suf- 
 frage has been for some time as univer- 
 sal as life I shall expect to see it become 
 as unequal. 
 
 Let then the Liberals have a care, 
 
 lest hastening the reduction of all 
 
 classes to a level as complete and wide 
 
 *^ 145
 
 IV as that of the waters in Noah's flood, 
 
 Meditations they do but prepare for such a heaping 
 in the Tea q£ {]^(.jjj ^p jj^ mountains as we have 
 Room ■ .1 i_ L 
 
 seen ever since the moon has shone 
 
 upon us and them aHke. Let them 
 be warned by that alacrity which the 
 Tories have shown to anticipate the 
 people's demand for a larger share in 
 public affairs. Let them consider 
 whether, whenever a lower stratum 
 is added to their party, the upper 
 layer of that party is not at once 
 detached from it, and after a time 
 joined on to the body of their oppo- 
 nents. Wlien a dozen new members 
 take their seats on your benches to the 
 left of the Left, it is not unlikely that 
 the Centre is not over-pleased with the 
 crowding, and that the Right receives 
 some fugitives, and succours them. 
 
 There are some who so dishke 
 government that they will support no 
 faction when it is in power. This often 
 makes a departed Ministry appear to 
 have more friends than it has. 
 
 If an opposition had many scruples 
 it would never return to power. 
 146
 
 To sacrifice one's honour to one's IV 
 party is so unselfish an act that our Meditations 
 
 most generous statesmen have not hesi- 1? ^^® 
 A A J i J -A Room 
 
 tated to do it. 
 
 In affairs no men are consistent ex- 
 cept the dishonest. 
 
 * * 
 « 
 
 A Ministry, when it is certain to be 
 soon displaced, should undertake some 
 grand and impossible piece of legisla- 
 tion, or policy, that they may appear 
 to fall in a splendid cause, rather than 
 in the ordinary ignoble vicissitude of 
 
 things. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 A Conservative administration is in 
 politics what a " mixed occupation " is 
 in war. 
 
 147
 
 I 
 
 HAVE THOUGHT SOMETIMES V 
 
 ^ that we may hear sermons in our Meditations 
 churches — and not the worst o^^^s ^ ogm 
 preached there — though there be no 
 one in the pulpit. Indeed, I doubt if 
 so much wisdom was heard inside the 
 church of Stoke Poges as Gray con- 
 trived to discover in its graveyard. 
 
 It is a habit of mine, when there is 
 much difference of opinion in the 
 Palace of "Westminster, to take a turn 
 round the Abbey. Not that I seek the 
 gratification of beholding once active 
 opponeijts of my party now reduced 
 to the silence of dust and the repose 
 of I marble. Not that I would find 
 quiet ; for, indeed, there are more 
 voices about one in those deserted 
 aisles than ever were in Babel. Nor 
 do I go altogether to hearken to the 
 great voice of Johnson, nor to catch 
 the modulated tones of Cowley. I 
 pass by all that remains of the glory of 
 a hundred victories only to stay where 
 blossoms the first of Tudor roses. Yet 
 I am little of a botanist. 
 
 In fact all the roses of York and 
 Lancaster, to say nothing of those of 
 Shiraz, have no part in my coming to 
 the Abbey, or pausing in my rambles 
 about it, and I only mentioned them by 
 
 149
 
 V way of showing that I have really 
 
 Meditations visited the ancient Minster, and to in- 
 
 '" R dicate, in a manner in keeping with the 
 
 scenes around me, that I have reached 
 
 the point I had started for. 
 
 It is an excellent allegory wherein 
 this kingdom is represented, which 
 we see on the tomb of Henry VII. — a 
 crown hanging on a bush. Whether 
 the diadem of these realms fell among 
 the gorse on the field of Bosworth, or 
 whether we are to understand, as wc 
 look on the emblem of kingly power, 
 that the thorns sprang up and choked 
 it, you may — for you will — decide ac- 
 cording to your prejudices. I know 
 very well the idea of it which will best 
 please some cynical Republican as he 
 notices what it is that wears the crown. 
 It will not occur to him that he has be- 
 fore him an image of the divinity that 
 doth hedge a king ; and, for that matter, 
 perhaps he has not. For me, I care 
 not what it signifies ; 'tis a rare alle- 
 gory, and I have my own notion of its 
 meaning. Thank heaven, I can revere 
 the crown as much when I see it on a 
 bush as though, in all pomp, it sur- 
 mounted , . , a cushion. 
 
 Let no one suppose that I came near 
 150
 
 to writing another word, or that I in- v 
 
 tend here any disrespect to the cushion ; Meditations 
 which, I take it, is neither more nor *" *^^ '^•^ 
 less than public consent made palpable ^°°"^ 
 and very becomingly represented. I 
 profess that I have as much reverence 
 for popular opinion in this shape as in 
 any other of the many forms it from 
 time to time assumes. 
 
 It is well, I am sure, that we should 
 consider sometimes this sculpture of the 
 crown upon the bush ; for we are apt, 
 when we see the regalia in all their 
 splendour, to forget that the ermine 
 does not stand upright of itself. In the 
 chapel at Westminster we find a useful 
 comment on the observation of Sir 
 Thomas Elyot, that '' Apparayle may 
 be we I a parte of maiestie'' 
 
 Your Highness is right. The other 
 part of majesty may be the will of the 
 sovereign. Your Lowlinesses have 
 reason. It may be a furze bush. 
 
 Kings, like diamonds, serve many 
 useful ends, and are yet most esteemed 
 because of their rarity. 
 
 Rebellion is the prerogative of sub- 
 jects.
 
 IT ONCE WAS A SAYING, VI 
 
 popular in this country, and M, Meditations 
 de Montalembert quotes it with ap- ^^^^^ 
 proval, that " the pubHc business of 
 England is the private business of 
 every^ Englishman." Yet, attractive 
 as this statement must be to all those 
 whose private business consists chiefly 
 of interference in the affairs of others, 
 I think that it is as fallacious and 
 harmful as are most fine-sounding 
 axioms. One might say, with not 
 less justice, that the public-houses 
 of England are the private houses of 
 Englishmen. And perhaps this senti- 
 ment may some day serve to captivate 
 a meeting of total abstainers, or a con- 
 clave of domestic drunkards. 
 
 The public business of England, even 
 if it be the business of every English- 
 man, is his public business, and not his 
 private business at all. He is not to 
 consider that he has as good a right to 
 be made intimately acquainted with 
 the affairs of his country as with the 
 doings in his counting-house ; for, 
 although any public act may affect him 
 and his particular interests, it will cer- 
 tainly touch hundreds of his country- 
 men whose private affairs are as sacred 
 as his own. An insistence on the teach- 
 
 '53
 
 VI ing of this maxim as a principle of 
 
 Meditations government has before now, and lately, 
 
 '" ^^^RoVm ^^^ *° *^^^ establishment for a time of 
 another rule, which may be stated 
 thus, " The private business of every 
 Englishman is the public business of 
 England." That such a notion must, 
 if generally received, postpone all 
 foreign affairs, and all far-seeing 
 policy, to the accomplishment of such 
 purposes as commend themselves to 
 the retail trader in grievances, and the 
 manufacturer of discontent for home 
 consumption, does not need proof in 
 the face of instances still recent. If 
 any one requires to be convinced, let 
 him turn to the statutes of the last ten 
 years, let him read the questions to 
 Ministers and the debates in the Houses 
 of Parhament, and, noticing how much 
 they are occupied with " the private 
 business of every Englishman," let him 
 calculate the effect of what he sees 
 upon the "public business" of a 
 country which must certainly have a 
 good deal, if only it were attended to. 
 
 People who are once persuaded that 
 public business is the same thing as 
 their own private adventures think 
 themselves not less qualified to judge 
 of the one than of the other ; and, 
 154
 
 moreover, would conduct both upon VI 
 the same principles. The tradesman Meditations 
 who, in the County Court, has seen his '-^^^^ ^'^* 
 neighbour compelled to retire behind 
 a coveted party- wall, or driven from a 
 convenient, but exclusive, pump, loudly 
 proclaims the suppression of interna- 
 tional trespass by means of interna- 
 tional litigation. The vestryman who 
 has beheld the police force of his 
 parish reduced by two, and yet finds 
 no corresponding diminution in the 
 number of his spoons, insists that our 
 armaments are an unnecessary burden 
 to a country with which no one is 
 at war. The right of Englishmen to 
 know what is doing it is too late now 
 to deny ; but it is most unfortunate 
 that the admission of a man's claim to 
 be informed of events should always 
 lead him to suppose himself acknow- 
 ledged to be able to understand their 
 importance to him. If a physician tell 
 me that I have a fever, I do not 
 conceive that I am then called upon to 
 prescribe to him what remedy he shall 
 send me ; nor, if he propose one, do I 
 dispute with him upon its merits while 
 my disease hastens on its course. If 
 patients were to become cavillers and 
 disputants, we should find ourselves 
 
 155
 
 VI visited by a rhetorician whenever wc 
 
 Meditations had sent for the doctor, 
 in the Tea g^^ from our considering the public 
 business in the same light as that 
 which we best understand, it results 
 that administrators are chosen, not 
 because they are men likely to work 
 wisely, or to commit few indiscretions, 
 but for their skill in justifying blunders 
 before an assembly which practically 
 consists of the whole populace. Any 
 one who can prove, like Pangloss, that 
 each fresh disaster is but another step 
 towards perfection, is more likely to 
 be made a Minister than he who has 
 judgment enough to avoid compromis- 
 ing situations. Even so, if each Minister 
 had none but his own mistakes to 
 explain, or to suffer for, it would be 
 possible to have sometimes in power 
 a cautious and intelligent statesman, 
 though he were gifted with dumbness ; 
 but, seeing that every member of a 
 Government is liable to be called upon 
 to defend measures, or negligence, for 
 which he is in no way to blame, we are 
 obliged to give our seals and portfolios 
 to the fluent rather than to the thought- 
 ful. Constant criticism by the public, 
 coupled with their valued, but some- 
 what turbiUent, procedure by meeting 
 TS6
 
 and petition, necessitate the main- VI 
 tenance by the State of a company Meditations 
 of professional apologists. Moreover, j^oom ** 
 the existence in Parliament of an 
 Opposition, whose business it is to 
 appear always as the Devil's advocate, 
 and to argue against everything which 
 keeps them from enjoying the honours, 
 emoluments, and patronage incident to 
 office, must fill every Ministry with 
 men whose sole recommendation to 
 their associates is to be found in their 
 readiness of speech and their freedom 
 from scrupulosity. 
 
 The constitutional theory that the 
 existence of an organised Opposition 
 is justified by the obligation they are 
 under to take office if their enemies 
 are driven from it, must surely have 
 originated when office was more 
 dangerous, and less desired, than now. 
 It is but a small consolation to the 
 country at large to be assured that 
 if Mr. A. wrongly turns out the Right 
 Honourable Mr. B,, then Mr. A. will 
 be put in the vacant place, with a 
 certain salary, and will some day be 
 turned out again, a Right Honourable, 
 with a certain pension. Perhaps en- 
 dowment — a fashionable remedy now 
 applied to many troublesome factions 
 
 157
 
 VI — might diminish the injustice done by 
 
 Meditations Oppositions in giving some chance to 
 
 in the Tea ^j^^ conscience which they may be 
 
 Room . J ,..,., ^, ^ , ' i 
 
 mdued with, though no one has yet 
 
 seen it at work. The rule which with- 
 holds from the Opposition all reward 
 until they become Ministers in their 
 turn seems not very just ; since it is 
 admitted that they arc all the while 
 performing valuable services to the 
 State, and that they are as necessary a 
 part of Parliamentary Government as 
 the Ministry itself. But, besides that de- 
 serving demagogues, worthy agitators, 
 and thoughtful criticisers of the course 
 of Cabinets may go down to the grave 
 in some suburban cemetery, though 
 they may have merited to sleep by 
 Fox ; besides that they themselves 
 may never have been rewarded for 
 their labours by one ounce of public 
 gold, nor their wives by one invitation 
 to Court ; there is yet another, and, 
 perhaps, not smaller evil. "When the 
 Opposition enters upon office, the 
 public service must be less regarded 
 than the claims of those who have 
 long denounced the public servants, 
 and, amidst the shuffling and puzzle- 
 fitting which occurs, he who has 
 successfully attacked the Postmaster- 
 15S
 
 General is likely enough to be gratified VI 
 with the control of the Navy, or the Meditations 
 direction of foreign affairs. '^^^^ ^" 
 
 Now, were the Opposition even more 
 recognised by the State — had they 
 their robes and staves of office, their 
 places and their titles, their salaries, 
 perquisites and patronage — would not 
 there be more of dignity in their 
 dissent, more of value in their support, 
 more of reason in their consistency ? 
 If now the Opposition approve of a 
 Government proposal, the Ministry is 
 convicted of playing the game of its 
 opponents, or the Opposition is jeered 
 at by its foes, and pitied for incom- 
 petence by its friends. Whether the 
 momentary agreement between the 
 hostile factions may be to public 
 advantage there is no public to con- 
 sider, for all of them are triumphing 
 in one camp or weeping in the 
 other. 
 
 It would be not the least of the 
 recommendations to a paid Opposition 
 that many who are anxious to be out 
 of office would be content to leave it ; 
 and some who have a talent for being 
 always on the unpopular side could 
 gratify their taste without injury to 
 their position or prospects. 
 
 159
 
 VI The observations which, in the 
 
 Meditations solitude of the Tea Room, I address 
 in the Tea j^ myself, are invariably of a noble 
 °°"^ and disinterested sort ; but — whereas I 
 am capable of the utmost magnanimity 
 — viysclf, being indeed extremely 
 myselfish, receives coldly most of my 
 best advice. I constantly find that the 
 beautiful and philosophic egoism which 
 has been preached to me, and which / 
 am prepared to accept, is by myself 
 twisted into a grasping egotism, having 
 in it no more of philosophy than has 
 an heraldic motto. Thus it happened 
 that no sooner had I, without a thought 
 of my own advantage, made to myself 
 the above remarks concerning the 
 benefits to be derived from the institu- 
 tion of a subsidised Opposition, than 
 myself slipped into its commendation 
 of my scheme the suggestion that of 
 such an Opposition I might hope to be 
 one. In vain did I disclaim any such 
 notion. No, said I to myself, the limits 
 must be narrowed and jealously 
 guarded. Merit only must be admitted 
 into the Opposition, as into the Ministry. 
 At this myself fell a-laughing at me, 
 and I saw it was useless at that time to 
 continue my argument. 
 
 i6o
 
 How SMALL ARE THE Vll 
 results produced by some of Meditations 
 the grandest schemes of man ! Here I? ^^^ ^^^ 
 has one of the most prized of our con- 
 stitutional rights, in the course of its 
 plenary exercise, produced nothing but 
 a pain in the smallest of my toes. 
 Yes, it has taken some hundred thou- 
 sand signatures to cause me to sink 
 into this chair instead of loitering in 
 the lobby. For it was my misfortune 
 just now to encounter a treatise in 
 favour of the increased propagation of 
 small-pox ; which pamphlet — composed 
 by a herbalistic medicine-man, and 
 attached to a piece of paper, of the 
 size and shape of a stair-carpet, and 
 adorned with the signatures of all the 
 blockheads of a country town — was 
 being rolled along the passages to the 
 House, which I chanced to be leaving. 
 What is a human foot, though of the 
 largest, opposed to the progress of 
 such a mass as this ? How long might 
 a Patagonian hope to stay the course 
 of it ? For me, I did not delay it an 
 instant ; earning thus, I hope, some 
 gratitude from its authors. Onward it 
 trundled, onward, and into that limbo 
 where it shall harmlessly moulder away, 
 unread, unheeded. 
 
 L i6i
 
 VII What a machinery, I say again, to 
 
 Meditations effect nothing but the crushing of one 
 in the Tea ^^g Who were the worse, I ask my- 
 self, if this ceremony were abolished 
 out of hand. Would the petitioners 
 gainany thing — even small-pox — if their 
 petition were read, or if they could 
 return the medicine-man to Parliament 
 — as he doubtless hopes they will be 
 able to do ere long — that he might 
 there recite this composition of his ? 
 
 Perfectly ordered representation of 
 every man in a State may lead to not 
 lessinjustice than doesabsolute tyranny. 
 Indeed, a minority will often find its 
 rights secured to it by a despot, for 
 the very reason that it cannot even 
 prefer complaints in the august pre- 
 sence of its ruler, from which presence 
 the majority are also excluded. But 
 when grievances may be freely stated 
 and submitted to the general vote, it 
 will many times happen that freedom 
 to remonstrate against injustice will be 
 held a sufficient reason for allowing 
 wrongs to go unredressed. Indeed, I 
 imagine that we should treat all the 
 brutes with much less consideration 
 and kindness than we now use could we 
 only be informed by them of their views 
 upon the position they hold among us. 
 162
 
 The mere right to remonstrate need VII 
 bring but little good to those who exer- Meditations 
 cise it ; and the right to control legis- I? ^^* '^** 
 lation and the acts of the executive °°"^ 
 may also be of but slight avail in the 
 hands of people of small knowledge 
 and many prejudices. In fact, such a 
 right, which is all that the people can 
 have in the most complete democracy, 
 cannot amount to more than the power 
 to reverse the course of Government by 
 destroying every ruler in the land — an 
 amount of freedom by which every 
 despotism is necessarily limited. And, 
 just as the excesses of revolutionists 
 are invariably punished with harshness, 
 so constant interference ia affairs of 
 State provokes reprisals, and does not 
 the less incline rulers to resentment, 
 because its recurrence happens to be 
 guaranteed by a constitution. 
 
 It may well be doubted whether, if 
 a man have most of those material 
 advantages which it is in the power of 
 the State to secure to him, he were not 
 wise to decline the franchise should it 
 be offered. So long as one must re- 
 main in comparative poverty, is it not 
 mere folly to give up one's claim to 
 pity and charity, in return for an ac- 
 knowledgment that we can put into the 
 
 163
 
 VII ballot-box as much as any one in the 
 Meditations land ? An apparent injustice may be 
 *" ^^K ^*^ worth more than many a position of 
 credit, and has before now formed the 
 stock-in-trade of a whole nation. Nor 
 are such riches the most transitory ; 
 for he who has been oppressed leaves 
 a goodly heritage to his children ; and 
 perhaps it is due to the testamentary 
 instinct that men bear real wrongs so 
 quietly, content in handing down to 
 their descendants a valuable property 
 in the amends to be made them. 
 
 » 
 
 Is it not a favourite theory of certain 
 philosophers that happiness is, in the 
 main, equally distributed to every one, 
 and that there is no loss which is not 
 accompanied by some compensating 
 circumstance ? And is this theory less 
 applicable to the vicissitudes of politics 
 than to the falling of an acorn from a 
 tree before the snout of a pig beneath 
 its branches ? Thus an extension of 
 the franchise necessitated the diminu- 
 tion of bribery, and many a borough 
 acquired dignity, yet grudged the price 
 of it. Here bribery was probably for- 
 bidden less in the interest of the sellers 
 than of the purchasers of votes. In 
 164
 
 fact, the votes are still bought as effec- VII 
 tually as ever, though they are paid Meditations 
 for in a coin which men are more wil- ^q 
 ling to part with than that of the realm 
 — such as principles, faith and honour, 
 A mob which cannot hope to obtain a 
 shilling a-piece can still exact obedience 
 to its whimsical dictation ; and this not 
 less at the hustings than in times of 
 revolutionary tumult, though less ob- 
 viously. It is impossible not to per- 
 ceive that in times when the multitude 
 were not consulted on matters of State, 
 they had their seasons of licence, and 
 triumphed by turns over each of the 
 elements of Government to which 
 ordinarily they owed subjection. Such 
 were the Saturnalia and the Feast of 
 Fools. The Church was derided in the 
 ceremonies of the Abbot of Unreason ; 
 the Monarchy in the junketings of 
 Lords of Misrule, and the May-day 
 royalty of chimney-sweepers. 
 
 But does not Davus still pluck his 
 master by the ear ? Of a truth he does, 
 and compels him to hearken to most 
 impudent diatribes and questionings. 
 Are the Lords of Misrule now deprived 
 of their lordship, or is their dominion 
 confirmed and extended ? Let me 
 confess myself of the opinion of those 
 
 i6s
 
 VII who would attribute the vanishing of 
 Meditations these mediaeval pastimes to the spread 
 '" *^» ^*^ °^ political responsibility. But, though 
 °°^ it be true that there are no such ebulli- 
 tions of popular nonsense as formerly, 
 it is equally certain that there is at no 
 time any repression of it. There are 
 no seasonable overflowing floods of 
 folly, perhaps ; but a constant and 
 fertilising stream of it none the less 
 meanders through the land. 
 
 Yes, the Abbot of Unreason is repre- 
 sented in Parliament as, of course, he 
 should be, I gainsay not his rights. 
 Was not the Nabob of Arcot repre- 
 sented by seven or eight members ? 
 The Nabob, who paid no taxes. The 
 Nabob, to whom the army of this realm 
 was no burden, the laws of it no pro- 
 tection, the . . . Oh, what have I 
 thought ? what have I not written ? 
 On my word, I fear to push this parallel 
 further, for the Nabob was disfran- 
 chised. 
 
 Truly it is an awful subject, this of 
 representation. Let us agree that every 
 interest shall be represented. The 
 individual, pure and simple — if there 
 be such — shall have a voting paper, 
 i66
 
 though he have not a pocket to put it vil 
 
 in. But concerning what shall he vote ? Meditations 
 
 Not about pockets, for he has none. *? ^^® ^*^ 
 
 Not about land except such as he may °°^ 
 
 be buried in. Or let him vote that he 
 
 have the land and the purse of his 
 
 neighbour, in order to give himself a 
 
 iocus stajidi in the discussion of rents 
 
 and taxes. This is what must happen 
 
 if the franchise is allotted to individuals 
 
 and not to their position. Perhaps it 
 
 were well to award a vote to every 
 
 man and another to certain properties ; 
 
 as in some countries is seen, where he 
 
 who buys a certain estate obtains with 
 
 it a seat in the legislative body, or a 
 
 pew in the parish church. Is there 
 
 more reason why every man's vote 
 
 should be of the same power as 
 
 another's, than there is for all voices 
 
 being of one compass ? Surely if the 
 
 sans culotte is to have his say on the 
 
 making of breeches, the wearer of 
 
 them might be heard once in his native 
 
 right as sans culotte^ and again in his 
 
 artificial character of culotte. 
 
 At present breeches, coats, and even 
 bonnets, are, like the Nabob of Arcot 
 at the time I alluded to, largely repre- 
 sented in the Legislature, And this is 
 why I stopped so abruptly on the point 
 
 167
 
 VII of disfranchisement. Can I not en- 
 Meditations franchise my friend Sans Culotte with- 
 in the Tea ^^^ disfranchising the breeches he so 
 Room 1 ^ . . • 1 -1 
 
 longs to jump mto ? 
 
 After all, has a man any right of 
 choice whatever, merely because he 
 is in the world, seeing it was left to 
 others to decide whether he ever 
 should enter it ? 
 
 Public wrongs are but popular rights 
 in embryo. 
 
 1 68
 
 IT WAS GOOD ADVICE THAT VIII 
 Pythagoras gave to philosophers Meditations 
 that they should abstain from beans '^^^^ 
 — which was to say the ballot. This 
 counsel was probably given in the 
 interests of philosophy and the pro- 
 fessors of wisdom, yet that should 
 not prevent us from seeing how 
 greatly such refraining from affairs 
 would be to the advantage of the 
 public service. 
 
 It may be doubted whether a philo- 
 sopher ought even to be allowed to 
 vote ; but certainly he should never be 
 elected by the people to represent 
 them, unless they deliberately wish to 
 forego their share in the government 
 of the country. For I cannot suppose 
 that the multitude will ever guide 
 themselves by any recognised philo- 
 sophy, or that a philosopher will go 
 by any other rules than the particular 
 ones of his favourite system. 
 
 Tell the people that, according to 
 the laws of eternal wisdom, and im- 
 mutable justice, they are entitled to a 
 vote and a pot of beer a-piece, and their 
 sweet reasonableness were worthy the 
 groves of Academe ; but call upon 
 them afterwards to pay a fair price for 
 these commodities, and none but the 
 
 169
 
 VIII laughing philosopher would recognise 
 Meditations them for his disciples, 
 in the Tea Nothing, if we may believe public 
 men, has contributed more to the ad- 
 vance of this country than our habit of 
 not pressing arguments and measures 
 to their logical conclusions. To enthu- 
 siastic doctrinaires this seems mere 
 cowardice, or badness of heart. Rea- 
 sonable men, who know that moderate 
 purity is as sufficient in the conduct of 
 ordinary affairs as in our supply of 
 water, will be content with a reform 
 which makes things innocuous, but 
 leaves them still short of medicinal. 
 
 Who shall say that a few follies and 
 excesses are not as natural, and, on 
 the whole, as beneficial, in the life of 
 a nation as of a man ? Are not some 
 wrongs the necessary occasion of vir- 
 tues ? Could this country ever have 
 earned praise for its generosity if it 
 had always been just ? Beginning 
 with so small a property, we could 
 never have made a gift — such as that 
 graceful one of the Ionian Islands — 
 had we not first taken to ourselves the 
 property of others. 
 
 There are certain vices which are 
 170
 
 far more attractive, even to an honest VIII 
 man, than some virtues ; and to a Meditations 
 
 in the Tea 
 
 healthy and vigorous people it will „ 
 
 u r 1 i. -u 1 Room 
 
 ever be of less use to preach calcu- 
 lating rectitude of conduct, than to be 
 satisfied with guiding a little those im- 
 pulses which in their main direction 
 are good, though the reasoning from 
 which they spring is none of the 
 closest. 
 
 It has always pleased the English to 
 assume an heroic character, and this 
 is not consistent with methodical cor- 
 rectness ; or, at least, has not hitherto 
 been thought so. When we have all 
 read and practised the theories of 
 Mr. Mill, and his followers, we may, 
 perhaps, be a very worthy people, and, 
 like all of that class, play but a small 
 part in the world, 
 
 I console myself by thinking that it 
 matters little to us what doctrines we 
 feed on, so long as we do not alter the 
 other and more substantial part of our 
 diet. The country which deprives us 
 fairly of our commerce will re-create 
 a terrible horde of bandits. We shall 
 hardly admit that we have no right to 
 prefer our own interests to those of the 
 great family of nations — as we have 
 lately been taught — when we fairly 
 
 171
 
 VIII perceive that our philanthropy has lost 
 Meditations us some material advantage. 
 
 in the Tea » * 
 
 oom ^ 
 
 Those members of the upper class 
 who, with the intention of reconciling 
 working people to their position in life, 
 proclaim the dignity of labour, while 
 at the same time they attempt a sort of 
 renaissance among the vulgar, do not 
 seem to me to take the surest way to 
 the end they have in view. A laborious 
 aristocracy will be easily tolerated by 
 the people ; who have reason to think 
 all exertion unpleasant. So our upper 
 classes are safe while they hunt, manage 
 the roads and bridges, and drill the 
 militia ; but let them occupy their time 
 chiefly with the gentler arts and 
 sciences, and they will conciliate fewer 
 than they fancy. 
 
 Who would be governed by painters 
 and decorators ? 
 
 Amiable socialists who talk of im- 
 proving the masses up to the intellec- 
 tual level of those above them, byway 
 of producing contentment, do not un- 
 derstand the question so well as those 
 whom they would instruct. No revo- 
 172
 
 :oom 
 
 lutionists ever yet desired to level VIII 
 society, either upwards or down- Meditations 
 wards ; but many have used this name ^ 
 for turning it upside down. 
 
 A just distribution of the burdens of 
 taxation will never please the greater 
 number of the people, until there are 
 in the State more very rich men than 
 poor ones. 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 The greatest good to the greatest 
 number imposes on the majority so 
 severe a discipline that they are con- 
 tent to take less than their share. 
 
 173
 
 MUCH WAS NOT FORESEEN IX 
 by those who first advocated Meditations 
 free trade that has followed inevitably '^^^^'^^^ 
 the prevalence of their opinions. 
 
 I may, for all I know, have seen the 
 above sentence in a newspaper ; but it 
 is true none the less — and my dinner 
 suggested it to me. 
 
 I suppose few will deny that of late 
 years there has been less of insularity 
 — some would say less of patriotism — 
 amongst us than there was, and un- 
 doubtedly there has been more foreign 
 meat and drink for us. 
 
 Questions of cause and effect are 
 always difficult or doubtful, and I do 
 not generally care to hazard an opinion 
 on such subjects, but the coincidence 
 between our cosmopolitan philanthropy 
 and our free breakfast-tables, covered 
 with the food of every clime, seems too 
 complete to be accidental. 
 
 That the modem popular affectation 
 of citizenship of the world is due to 
 a pabulum of some sort, I suppose no 
 one will be inclined to deny. What 
 the pabulum is may be a nice matter 
 for controversy. You may look for it 
 where you will ; but, for my part, I 
 think it is to be found on the wharves 
 along the Thames. 
 
 175
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 IX They who ate out of the same dish 
 
 Meditations were in all times taken to be in some 
 way attached ; and one cannot doubt 
 that the souls of all the convives — which 
 the ancients wisely held inhabited their 
 stomachs — were brought into harmony 
 by the sameness of their food. We 
 know that all the lotus-eaters thought 
 alike ; and we have been told of " the 
 Caledonian" that so long as he drank 
 claret he was " firili and erect" — an 
 attitude which we may suppose his 
 present potations do not assist him to 
 preserve. 
 
 Then is it not natural to expect that 
 an ollapodrida, composed of ingredients 
 from all parts of the globe, will produce 
 in those who make it their diet a mix- 
 ture of sentiments and sympathies such 
 as now composes public opinion in this 
 country ? 
 
 I hke not to push a theory too far, 
 yet the proportion in which we con- 
 sume the products of foreign countries 
 might, perhaps, enable us to calculate 
 the amount of influence which they 
 severally exercise upon our hearts and 
 understandings. If this be so, a new 
 and inviting field is open to statisticians ; 
 and practical statesmen may see a 
 fresh means of controlling popular 
 176
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 opinion in the manipulation of Customs IX 
 
 duties. Meditations 
 
 Who will maintain that the embargoes 
 laid byus upon the goods of our enemies 
 did not aggravate our differences, and 
 so prolong our wars ? And by this 
 light can any one fail to see a new and 
 touching significance in the applica- 
 tion of the phrase " the most favoured 
 nation " to that people whose fruits we 
 encourage ourselves to eat ? 
 
 It admits of easy proof that in the 
 days of enthusiasm for the abolition of 
 slavery there was a considerable taste 
 for " old Jamaica," and our sugar was 
 not then made from the beet-roots of 
 France. 
 
 The propagation of some epidemics 
 has now been definitely traced to the 
 importation of the germs of them in 
 products from abroad ; and he would 
 be rash indeed who should pretend 
 that some microscope of the future will 
 not discover the embryos of Socialism 
 in a German sausage, and a new scheme 
 of party colour in a China orange. 
 
 That a country should be judged 
 by its exports is inevitable ; yet 
 some nations have, doubtless, thereby 
 suffered injustice. They will make few 
 friends whose chief export is medicinal 
 M 177
 
 IX rhubarb ; but disorderly troops of cmi- 
 
 Meditations grants seem to conciliate even less good 
 
 If, as seems not unlikely, we feel 
 more kindly towards other nations 
 than they do towards us, is not this 
 what we should expect from our par- 
 taking of their champagne, caviare, and 
 macaroni, their olives, oranges, and 
 bananas, while we send them in return 
 only coal, cotton-cloth, and bars of 
 iron ? 
 
 178
 
 A DISTINCTION IS ALWAYS x 
 
 made between our home and Meditations 
 our foreign affairs in that separate I? ^^^ 
 Ministers are responsible for the con- 
 duct of each of them. Here, however, 
 the difference too often ceases. The 
 Home Secretary must frequently deal 
 with selfish, unreasonable, and criminal 
 persons and classes ; but he never meets 
 with any whose conduct is so immoral 
 as that of diplomatists of high rank ; 
 he finds none so unworthy of credit 
 and of confidence as the most respect- 
 able potentates of Europe, because no 
 one in England has such strong in- 
 centives to faithlessness as they who 
 may lose a throne by keeping their 
 word. Because all foreign policy must 
 rely for its success upon the force by 
 which, if necessary, it will besupported, 
 and not upon justice or reason, what is 
 called international law is in effect 
 non-existent — the dream of jurists 
 seeking to enlarge their field of 
 action. That municipal law exists is 
 due — though Baron Puf endorf says the 
 contrary — not to any convention or 
 contract between murderers, thieves, 
 and other members of society, but to 
 the fact that these offenders are in the 
 power of the rest of the community, 
 
 179
 
 X because they are, relatively, few in 
 
 Meditations number. In hardly any country can 
 in the Tea ^j^ individual seriously wrong another 
 without being made by the majority to 
 suffer for it. The misdeeds of great 
 Powers must, however, be avenged by 
 those only who are hurt by them. If 
 a strong nation unprovokedly assault 
 a weak one, to what authority is there 
 any appeal ? To none ; unless some 
 States shall see a chance of intervening 
 to their own advantage. Because there 
 is no impartial human force above all 
 nations, there is no law for them either, 
 except in the text-books. A pirate is 
 oxAy^^ hosiis humani generis'" because he 
 has but a little fleet, which the navy of 
 no single State is too weak to vanquish. 
 
 The executive administering home 
 affairs is strong enough to compel the 
 observance of the ordinary rules of 
 honest conduct ; but it is seldom certain 
 that the greatest wrong-doer abroad 
 can be corrected. 
 
 This should result in a complete 
 variance between the rules applicable 
 to the conduct of business abroad and 
 at home ; and it is necessary, though 
 unusual, to judge acts done with re- 
 ference to the Himalayas, or the Nile, 
 by a standard wholly inappropriate to 
 i8o
 
 any event which can happen on the x 
 
 Cotswolds or the Severn. Meditations 
 
 Our domiciliary policy may properly '_P ^^® ^^^ 
 be determined by the consideration of °°"^ 
 what is most fair to all, for that can be 
 enforced. But beyond our shores ex- 
 pediency must be our sole motive ; 
 though justice, and even generosity 
 may be put forward, and, perhaps, 
 coincide with it. By expediency I do 
 not mean that which too many only 
 know by this name. It is not expedient 
 to invariably show — like the "treaty- 
 breaking Lusitanians " — so little regard 
 for our engagements as never to be 
 trusted at all ; but constant literal 
 fidelity is equally undesirable, because 
 when our enemies can be sure of the 
 course which in any event we shall 
 take, they cannot be embarrassed in 
 their calculations as they would be 
 were our attitude problematical. True 
 expediency, however, is only to be 
 detected after a nice examination of 
 the questions at issue, and after a 
 thorough consideration of all theeffects, 
 immediate and remote, direct and col- 
 lateral, of any action we may take. It 
 resembles, indeed, true selfishness ; 
 which is understood to include charity, 
 liberality, and politeness — provided 
 
 i8i
 
 X you enjoy the exercise of these qualities 
 
 Meditations more than uncharitableness, meanness, 
 in the Tea ^^^j incivihty. The opinion that honesty 
 is the best pohcy — that is, the most 
 profitable on the whole — has been 
 more widely expressed than acted on : 
 and if complete and undeviating probity 
 is meant, this, perhaps, has never any- 
 where been tried. But there is no 
 doubt that a policy into which an 
 unusually large amount of honesty 
 enters is, on utilitarian grounds, to be 
 preferred to any other. Character is 
 the best possession within the reach of 
 those who have not splendid abilities ; 
 but it is not so necessary to a great 
 genius, who can easily find means to 
 excuse any deviation from rules of 
 prudence or counsellings of honour. 
 Still there is so much danger in per- 
 mitting freedom of action to any one, 
 that all but the most commanding in- 
 telligences should be rigorously held 
 to the observance of the common 
 principles. Thus one act of perfidy 
 may be excused if it result in the gain 
 of a province ; and that though it create 
 distrust of our word. But the next 
 flagrant untruth should gain twenty 
 provinces, or it will not be justifiable ; 
 for, as original mistrust among our 
 182
 
 neighbours will have been increased X 
 
 in more than geometrical progression, Meditations 
 
 so the obiect for which we incur it 'd I. 
 1 1 1 • .1 .• Room 
 
 should grow in the same proportion. 
 
 Inconsistency may sometimes be ex- 
 pedient. Thus it is well now and then 
 to quarrel a little with our best friends, 
 lest they presume on our complaisance. 
 We may take an opportunity to assist 
 an enemy — that he may hope for our 
 alliance, and so refrain from entering 
 into intimate relations with his well- 
 wishers, or perhaps treat them with 
 scorn or indifference. Besides, how- 
 ever, the immediate gain which the 
 temporary abandonment of an accus- 
 tomed line of conduct may bring, there 
 remains uncertainty as to the policy of 
 the future ; and though some may see 
 in this nothing but harm, it is to be 
 remembered in favour of devious 
 statesmanship that there is in the world 
 more of hope than of fear. No nation 
 will at a serious crisis willingly offend 
 a Government whose course is indoubt, 
 even though that Government would 
 not be very formidable when a declared 
 adversary ; for many can do us much 
 good who can do us little positive harm. 
 
 Rank injustice and wrong may also 
 now and then be expedient, as it may 
 
 183
 
 X be necessary to show some, who 
 
 Meditations think that we have abandoned certain 
 *" ^P weapons which we formerly wielded 
 to good purpose, that our hand has 
 not forgot its cunning. A civilised 
 nation will not be respected of bar- 
 barians by reason of its civility alone. 
 
 Atonement for injuries which we 
 have done is most dangerous to make, 
 especially in circumstances where it 
 may be supposed that fear or great 
 caution was the cause of repentance ; 
 but it may well be expedient to profess 
 to repent of crimes never committed, as 
 when we have profited by another's 
 misfortunes but have not occasioned 
 them. Though condolence and sym- 
 pathy, unless they bring with them 
 substantial offerings, are not often well 
 received by the suffering, yet contrition 
 has long been held as efficacious as re- 
 paration ; and, involving as it does 
 something of humiliation, even men 
 often prefer it to all other amends. 
 
 The chief difficulty in doing what is 
 most expedient arises from the obsti- 
 nate reluctance of men to admit that 
 they have pursued a wrong policy ; 
 and few who realise their faults ah-eady 
 committed have the courage to take a 
 fresh departure. 
 184
 
 In pursuing a policy of expediency X 
 
 England has some advantages over Meditations 
 other States, and should be studious to ^ ^^^ ^^^ 
 make the most of them. It is by some 
 reproached to our Constitution that it 
 disables us from pursuing a " consistent 
 foreign policy." Now it is just here 
 that I see one of its chief excellencies. 
 We can lead a scrupulous public to 
 commit or sanction gross breaches of 
 faith, by persuading them that to break 
 a promise made by their political 
 opponents is equivalent to observing 
 one given by themselves. We can 
 reverse our policy by changing our 
 Ministers, and at the same time aver 
 that we have called so and so to the 
 head of affairs because such a one had 
 not rightly represented our views ; 
 the fact being, that we have altered 
 our opinion as to what our interests 
 demand. It is excusable in the Red 
 Indian that he is puzzled by the non- 
 observance of the covenants made with 
 him by the United States, because he 
 cannot be expected to understand that 
 "ministerial responsibility" means 
 national absolution from the perform- 
 ance of distasteful engagements ; but 
 it is lamentable that this doctrine is 
 ignored by many in more favoured 
 
 ^«5
 
 X countries, even to our own. " La 
 
 Meditations perfide Albion " must remain entitled 
 
 *" *^R ^^^ *° ^^^* name so long as we possess a 
 
 Constitutional Government ; for perfidy, 
 
 which was an accident under Philip of 
 
 Macedon, is inevitable under Victoria. 
 
 Though an absolute monarch may 
 
 occasionally be treacherous — or gifted 
 
 with a hundred other vices — yet few 
 
 of these have not thought it disgraceful 
 
 to have their promises slighted, even 
 
 by themselves. But the dignity of 
 
 a populace is not so easily touched, 
 
 and a free nation will never be very 
 
 fearful of incurring blame which, being 
 
 distributed over many millions of 
 
 wrong-doers, is by no one felt as 
 
 personally degrading. The difference 
 
 in this respect between an absolute 
 
 and a limited monarchy, is exactly 
 
 analogous to that which distinguishes 
 
 a private merchant from a limited 
 
 company. As there is a keeper of the 
 
 King's conscience, whose office dates 
 
 from the period when public acts were 
 
 done at the will and pleasure of the 
 
 sovereign — so now would there be a 
 
 Minister doing such duty for the nation 
 
 hadthe nation any conscience to be kept. 
 
 This matter is nicely put by Sir Francis 
 
 Palgrave where he says, " The liability 
 
 i86
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 incurred by the nation is refracted X 
 
 through so many media, that it is dis- Meditations 
 persed before reaching the foot of the 
 throne." 
 
 It merely remains to add that the 
 media are changed from time to time — 
 like the charcoal of filters — and they 
 and the odium they have collected are 
 thrown away together. 
 
 It is in a manner the misfortune of 
 States that they must constantly ex- 
 change treaties and understandings, 
 just as private persons send news- 
 papers and Christmas-cards to distant 
 acquaintances, merely to show that 
 no rupture has yet occurred between 
 them. It is not often unfair to dis- 
 regard any obligation which may be 
 insisted on as arising out of such a cor- 
 respondence ; since the bad faith is in 
 fact on the part of those who claim the 
 performance of a promise made in mere 
 courtesy. Besides this, a nation which 
 makes any concession to another, and 
 receives no real equivalent, is always 
 in such a position that by municipal 
 law the grant might be avoided on the 
 ground of duress. Few reputations are 
 so good as that of Joan of Arc, yet she 
 has earned from France eternal grati- 
 tude, and from the Pope perhaps 
 
 187
 
 X canonisation, for having enabled her 
 
 ^in'^the^ Tea country to abolish the Treaty of Troyes 
 Room — ^ hardly know who would blame the 
 Empress-Queen for avoiding a treaty 
 made with Frederick the Great ; and the 
 engagement to keepNapoleon on the Isle 
 of Elba was hardly a good consideration 
 to him for a promise to stay there. 
 
 Though immemorial usage would 
 seem to show that but slight blame 
 attaches to statesmen who in the in- 
 terest of their country do not scruple 
 to break the most solemn engagements, 
 yet there has of late years been some 
 complaint of the little regard paid to 
 their word by sovereigns and their 
 advisers. In truth, the telling of lies 
 is a practice which, though some have 
 condemned it, many have in all time 
 defended ; insomuch that Grotius, in 
 naming the philosophers who have 
 justified this form of deception, men- 
 tions Socrates, Plato, Xenophon, and 
 Cicero, together with the Stoics " qui 
 inter sapientis dotes pontint mentiri ubi 
 et quomodo oportet" 
 
 Honesty is disgusting to many men 
 of fine feeling because it is represented 
 as a good investment. 
 i88
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT XI 
 matters in connection with a Meditations 
 foreign policy is the forming of alli- 
 ances, whether holy or profane. These, 
 whatever may be the pretext for them, 
 are really made to check the growth of 
 political friendships between the allied 
 States and certain others which they 
 are suspected to be predisposed to 
 consort with. The first point necessary 
 to an alliance is therefore distrust ; and 
 it is because this element is seldom or 
 never wanting between States that 
 compacts of the most affectionate 
 character are so easily made ; and it 
 is for the same reason that they so 
 soon fall to pieces. Those whose in- 
 terests really coincide will support each 
 other without any formal agreement so 
 long as the coincidence endures, and 
 mere allies will never co-operate longer 
 than suits their convenience. 
 
 Too much fear has often been felt in 
 England at rumours of secret pacts 
 binding certain sovereigns to give one 
 another all help against all comers. 
 In effect, such confederacies, being 
 founded on mutual differences, are of 
 little more utility than was the com- 
 panionship of the collier and the fuller 
 in housekeeping. Yet it is not easy to 
 
 189
 
 XI reject an alliance if another State pro- 
 
 Meditations pose it ; though much offence may be 
 1^ given elsewhere if a treaty be openly 
 made. The safest course, perhaps, is 
 to conclude the alliance suggested, and 
 carefully to conceal it. If afterwards 
 it becomes necessary to recede from 
 the engagement, this will appear un- 
 righteous to those only who suffer 
 through such action being taken ; for 
 no one is ever offended by acts which 
 redound to his advantage, though 
 some, to save appearances, may pro- 
 fess to regret their occurrence. 
 
 Moreover, he who brings to light an 
 underhand negotiation, and refuses to 
 be bound by his promises made in the 
 course of it, will often be credited with 
 repentance, and received among the 
 most rigidly righteous with all those 
 honours the due of sinners who 
 recant. 
 
 He who is judicious will take care 
 rather to offend the good and generous 
 than the ill-conditioned and unscrupu- 
 lous ; since the former will often for- 
 bear when they have the most just 
 cause of offence, and will find in an 
 attitude of dignified reproach all that 
 satisfaction which only warfare and 
 spoil can afford to the latter, 
 igo
 
 Where three are hostile to one XI 
 another, there is alv/ays ground to Meditations 
 expect an alliance of two. '" ^^^ ^^* 
 
 Room 
 
 * 
 
 * 
 
 It very frequently happens that to 
 make an enemy among nations is the 
 surest way to gain a friend ; and if one 
 does not fear to take this course, he 
 may even turn several of his foes into 
 useful allies. I hardly know a better 
 example of this than is given by Colbert 
 in his "Testament Politique," where 
 he reminds — or perhaps informs — the 
 king of the royal behaviour towards Eng- 
 land, in these words : " Vous futes oblige 
 cependant de reconnoitre le Gouverne- 
 ment present d'Angleterre ; quoi que 
 votre inclination et votre justice vous 
 portassent a proteger celui qui en etait 
 le Prince legitime ; mais le procede des 
 Espagno]s,quipretendoient se prevaloir 
 de I'a version que vous temoigniez pour 
 I'usurpation de Cromwel, et faire un 
 traite avec lui k votre prejudice, vous 
 fit recourir au seul moyen qui vous 
 restoit pour vous mettre a convert 
 de leur mechante volonte. Vous lui 
 offrites votre mediation pour terminer 
 k I'aimable le different qui etait survenu 
 entre I'Angleterre et la Hollande, et que 
 
 191
 
 XI vous etiez bien aise d'assoupir, parcc 
 
 Meditations que vos ennemis en pouvoient tirer dc 
 '" '^Ro^m I'avantage." 
 
 King Louis did us a good turn in this 
 matter ; but who were his friends ? 
 
 It is surely only fair to recognise in 
 favour of evil intentions that they 
 sometimes confer more benefits than 
 the best. 
 
 192
 
 To BE UNJUST TO MOST MEN, XII 
 is to appear generous to the Meditations 
 
 smaUer number. i^ *^= ^" 
 
 Room 
 
 To act fairly by our friends is the 
 
 surest way to offend them. But less 
 
 than his due will often satisfy an 
 
 enemy. 
 
 » * 
 * 
 
 Respect is only an accidental Uking 
 for those whose interests are in conflict 
 with our own. 
 
 * ♦ 
 
 * 
 
 Peace has few charms for those who 
 cannot employ it in celebrating their 
 triumphs in war. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 The success of the teaching that we 
 are not to be proud when we do right, 
 is shown by our glorying in what can- 
 not pass for virtues. 
 
 The inequalities of rank are peculiarly 
 
 gratifying to the lower classes, who 
 
 delight in being able to attribute to 
 
 social inferiority those misfortunes 
 
 N 193
 
 XII which often are the result of in 
 Meditations capacity or idleness, 
 in the Tea 
 
 Room * ♦ * 
 
 What most recommends partygovem- 
 ment is that it enables us to slander our 
 rulers without sedition, and overthrow 
 them without treason. 
 
 Reforms are more to be dreaded 
 than revolutions ; for they cause less 
 reaction. 
 
 Many men do not change their 
 opinions, because those opinions held 
 too long change them. 
 
 194
 
 IT FOLLOWS FROM THERE XIII 
 being no controlling power to Meditations 
 which one State may appeal for re- '" *^^ ^'* 
 dress of injuries suffered at the hands 
 of another, that each nation must, so 
 far as it can, right its own wrongs — 
 which means inflict others. This pro- 
 cess cannot long have gone on between 
 States of unequal force without its 
 becoming necessary to employ decep- 
 tion to obtain delay, to provoke attack, 
 or to find a pretext for quarrels already 
 resolved upon. The nice question when 
 to forsake a friend, or at what point 
 one should begin to love one's enemies, 
 naturally called into existence a new 
 science, and a body of experts skilled 
 in its mysteries. 
 
 I shall say nothing of that part of 
 diplomacy which consists in making 
 truthful statements concerning past 
 events, or promises which it is in- 
 tended literally to fulfil ; for it is in- 
 significant. But it is worth while to 
 consider diplomacy in that wider field 
 where bad faith, interest, anger, and 
 folly, provide so much for it to do or to 
 prevent ; and especially we may in- 
 quire whether our country is justified 
 in using so little and so clumsily arts 
 by which others have greatly profited. 
 
 195
 
 XIII We recognise that diplomacy is 
 
 Meditations legitimate ; and — provided they effect 
 
 in the Tea nothing — we do not mind paying its 
 
 ^°°"' professors liberally. Yet, should they 
 
 gain us some advantage without having 
 
 announced their intention of doing so, 
 
 the public is straightway frightened 
 
 and irritated. We do not object to 
 
 our agents making use of falsehood in 
 
 the conventional manner, but we are 
 
 terribly shocked if it chance that they 
 
 are believed ; because it is not possible 
 
 to deceive a foreign Power without for 
 
 a time misleading the public at home. 
 
 It is one — and not the least — of the 
 difficulties in which a thoroughly Con- 
 stitutional Government finds itself that 
 it is unable to make use of diplomacy 
 in its integrity. There is a sort of 
 escaviotage to which publicity is ruin — 
 yet the escamoteiirs of England are at 
 every turn called upon to show that 
 they understand their business by 
 explaining its intricacies to their 
 employers. Our diplomacy must all 
 be conducted as it is upon the stage 
 when we are called upon to study the 
 wiles of a Richelieu or Alberoni, Much 
 conversation may be had with the 
 envoy from the foreign Power, and it 
 is expected to be carried on in whispers 
 196
 
 amidst conspicuous precautions against XIII 
 eaves-dropping ; but there must be no Meditations 
 mystification of the pit and gallery. ^^^^^ ^'^ 
 The asides must be loudly spoken, and 
 we must have plenty of them. The 
 envoy of the foreign Power of course 
 hears them all ; though he has address 
 enough to appear to listen to some- 
 thing else, to flirt with a woman, or to 
 converse amicably with some gentle- 
 man of the Court. 
 
 Deceit— like another virtue or vice, 
 according to circumstances — should 
 begin at home ; for even if the 
 public at large should chance to 
 understand how advantageous it may 
 be sometimes to pretend that we are 
 misled by some trick of our enemy, 
 they are yet too many to keep a calm 
 countenance. It is therefore necessary 
 for them to be deceived by their own 
 negotiators, that they may not by their 
 demeanour discover the truth to the 
 enemy. But impatience to know the 
 end, or to make it, too often prevails 
 over every other consideration ; the 
 seed is dug up that the process of 
 vegetation may be explored, and the 
 fruit is lost which otherwise had come 
 in its season. That we should not be 
 deceived, and that often, is impossible ; 
 
 197
 
 XIII for foreigners we cannot compel to 
 
 Meditations take US into their secrets, and that we 
 
 in the Tea ^^^ make a few of them tell us some- 
 
 °°"^ thing is an excellent reason for many 
 
 of their communications being untrue. 
 
 Countless operations areopen to foreign 
 
 statesmen, by which the alfresco nature 
 
 of our own statecraft does not allow us 
 
 to profit. 
 
 When Cavour sent the Sardinian 
 army to fight in our quarrels against 
 Russia, we thought it very friendly of 
 him, and perhaps a little eccentric, so 
 we called it chivalrous. But probably 
 not two men in Piedmont suspected 
 more than the simple grenadiers of 
 Britain, or the careless voltigeurs of 
 France, that nothing but the crown 
 of Italy was being won in the trenches 
 of Sebastopol. Had the Itahans been 
 informed what they were to gain, it 
 is certain they never would have 
 got it. 
 
 Yet I would not choose to see 
 amongst us any of that dinner-table 
 diplomacy where a princess asks a 
 monarch for a peach and a province 
 in the same breath ; but if our people 
 would extend to the conduct of public 
 business a little of that faith which 
 annually goes to the sowing of turnips, 
 198
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 the harvest would, I venture to think, XIII 
 repay them for their confidence. ?^^.^''*Ji'°_"* 
 Although the suffrage stands now at a 
 very genteel level, I am not convinced 
 that a majority of the voters can afford 
 any help in detecting the real meaning 
 which underlies the ambiguous memo- 
 randa and despatches of kings and 
 princes — even when these documents 
 have been freely translated into 
 English, and enriched with the com- 
 ments of Fleet Street. Moreover, one 
 of the main objects of diplomacy is 
 to commit your adversary to all the 
 consequences of a false move while 
 silently taking measures to counteract 
 it as soon as it is perceived. But a 
 chorus of delight from a hundred plat- 
 forms gives timely notice if we think 
 we see the game of our opponents ; 
 and English statesmen are compelled 
 to fence in a full light, while their 
 antagonists circle about them protected 
 by a dubious chiaroscuro. 
 
 The contempt in which our diplo- 
 matists have long been held on the 
 Continent is to be traced to some 
 extent to our dislike of subtle negotia- 
 tions, and our talent for giving and 
 taking hard knocks ; but much of it is 
 the plain result of our choosing to set 
 
 199
 
 in the Tea 
 Room 
 
 XIII at defiance the rules of the game we 
 Medit^ations play. I do not doubt that some 
 amongst us are not displeased if they 
 read in Philipe de Comines how it was 
 a common saying in his time that 
 the English lost by treaties what they 
 had gained by arms, whenever they 
 met the negotiators of France — a fact 
 which some writers have traced to 
 the changeableness of our climate, by 
 which they conceive that our character 
 and all our institutions have been 
 formed. It may be that the dulness 
 and fickleness so often charged against 
 us do at length begin to wear off — by 
 reason, perhaps, of our frequent tours 
 abroad ; for it is true that we have 
 of late years made some show of skill 
 in concluding treaties concerning beet- 
 roots, ribbons, and light wines ; yet 
 here we seem rather to have instructed 
 our neighbours in political economy 
 than over-reached them in wit. 
 
 But putting out of the question our 
 national peculiarities of character, we 
 can hardly hope with our present Con- 
 stitution to equal in the art of negotia- 
 tion those Powers whose government 
 is in the hands of one or a few 
 privileged persons. We. recognise that, 
 for offensive purposes, we are by land 
 200
 
 weak, and we do not hesitate to admit XIII 
 that they speak with reason who Meditations 
 compare us with a fish, and bid us not '" *^^ ^^^ 
 interfere in the quarrels of such dogs 
 as are not of the sea. Now between 
 the armies of Germany and of England 
 there is not more difference than 
 distinguishes our force in diplomacy 
 from theirs. And, though all agree 
 that we are bound to copy their drill- 
 books, their maps, and their helmets, 
 no one has hinted that we should 
 systematically study and imitate those 
 works of the great masters in diplo- 
 macy, which almost every country in 
 Europe has produced. If we have to 
 meet in war a bold enemy or a timid, 
 a cunning or a simple, we seek to 
 adapt our strategy and tactics to the 
 occasion, and do not complain of our 
 adversary for fighting in his own way. 
 But should we have to deal with a 
 nation given to fraud and trickery 
 in affairs, we walk into every ambush, 
 and set none in return ; or, if some 
 energetic officer do so unbidden, we 
 blame him and discharge him, but 
 keep the captives he has made. 
 
 Perhaps there were some comfort to 
 be found in the reflection that in those 
 raancEuvres which, doubtless, were first 
 
 20I
 
 XIII invented by feeble States to enable 
 Mediiations them to preserve their lives against the 
 in the Tea strong, we are unskilled because we 
 ™ have no necessity to know or to prac- 
 tise them. But when the strongest 
 nations are, as now we see them, the 
 most accomplished in diplomacy, it is 
 time to cease to console ourselves with 
 anything less than a mastery of the 
 science we have hitherto neglected. 
 Without professing to enter minutely 
 into the subjects upon which we need 
 instruction, I cannot leave out of sight 
 one or two matters to which it is 
 indeed time that our attention were 
 turned. 
 
 And, first, it must strike any one 
 who has seen what has been passing 
 of late years how important a part 
 is played by those inventions termed 
 " accomplished facts." The contention 
 that all that occurs subsequently must 
 have an influence on prior engage- 
 ments, has never been so fully recog- 
 nised as now ; though it is long since 
 Seneca wrote that " Omnia esse debent 
 eadetn quce fuerint cum pyomitterem ut 
 promittentis Jidem teneas." Concerning 
 the "accomplished fact," and how to 
 produce it, whole treatises might be 
 written ; but it is enough to suggest 
 
 202
 
 that much accomplishes itself if a great Xlll 
 
 Power will it so, and we can easily Meditations 
 
 supply our diplomatists with this „ *^*^ ^^^ 
 
 ii i_ 11 1 Room 
 
 weapon so soon as they shall have 
 
 learned how to handle it. 
 
 Then, if there be any one thing pro- 
 fitable in diplomacy which we ignore 
 more than another, it is humour. Never 
 since the Locrians, having sworn to 
 keep their compact as long as they 
 stood upon earth and had heads upon 
 their shoulders, put earth in their shoes, 
 and emptied it out again, throwing away 
 the heads of garlic which they had 
 placed on their shoulders — never have 
 treaties been so jocosely broken as 
 now. While Berlin is a very centre of 
 cynic wit — while jests fly merrily about 
 the East, — England alone adds nothing 
 to the fun. That we shall always be 
 honest, even fairly so, in the midst of 
 laxity and deceit, I cannot believe. 
 My fear is that we may some day be 
 tempted to commit robbery with vio- 
 lence. But surely it were better to 
 cheat at cards or dice, laughing the 
 while, than to play fairly till our stake 
 is lost to sharpers, and then assault 
 and despoil them on their road home 
 with the plunder. 
 
 It is unfair to others that we let them 
 
 203
 
 XIII out-witus ; for later we exact retribution 
 
 Meditations for the injury our own stupidity has 
 
 in the Tea brought upon US — when, had we taken 
 
 the trouble to be suspicious, we should 
 
 have come to no harm. 
 
 If there be any remedy for our weak- 
 ness in diplomacy, it is to be found, I 
 think, in the extension of that power 
 of party which is so admired a portion 
 of our form of government. It was 
 possible for absolute monarchs to avail 
 themselves of those talents which for- 
 merly were brought to perfection 
 amongst the little States of Italy ; and 
 those whose battles at home were 
 fought by mercenaries became free 
 companions ready to wage the dip- 
 lomatic wars of other nations. Free 
 parliamentary institutions are incom- 
 patible with the employment of such 
 aid as this ; yet we cannot expect 
 Englishmen, prejudiced in favour of 
 the faction to which they and their 
 families belong, to strive by every arti- 
 fice which a county election or a party 
 division would call forth to support a 
 policy they dislike for the benefit of a 
 Ministry they would gladly overthrow. 
 Only, however, let our respective par- 
 ties govern abroad as thoroughly as 
 they are permitted to do at home, 
 204
 
 only let them be served as devotedly XIII 
 at every foreign Court as they are now Meditations 
 in each municipal council, and English r.,*^ ^^ 
 diplomacy would flourish as it never yet 
 has done. Party government if good is 
 surely best when most complete ; yet 
 we, who boast of being its inventors, 
 permit a Liberal ambassador to present 
 the remonstrance of a Tory adminis- 
 tration, while an American Republican 
 will not allow a Democrat to send his 
 letters by the post. 
 
 205
 
 T 
 
 HE MEMBER WHO CAN XIV 
 command himself will serve his Meditations 
 party — and he who can command his '^ '^^ ^'* 
 party will serve himself. 
 
 A pure election is the result of one 
 of two feelings — fear or fanaticism. 
 
 To convince a poor voter by the 
 common argument of promised reforms 
 is merely to corrupt him with hope. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 No party will willingly complain of 
 those grievances which its opponents 
 are likely to redress. 
 
 Civil war is ordinarily more excus- 
 able than any other; for in such strife 
 few are killed who have not quarrelled 
 — and for the best of reasons — that 
 their interests are the same. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 Men would be great cnmmais did 
 they need as many laws as ihey make. 
 
 207
 
 XIV The most humiliating knowledge for 
 
 Meditations mankind is that which tells us we can 
 in the Tea destroy nothing. "We may, indeed, 
 change somev/hat the aspect of things, 
 and vanish ; but time — which is eternal 
 — may restore all, even ourselves, 
 
 Room 
 
 * » 
 
 # 
 
 It is curious to observe how 
 laboriously they here waste their time 
 who have no belief in eternity. 
 
 Allies are but enemies having some 
 
 common foe. 
 
 * * 
 * 
 
 Peace is the slumber of nations. 
 
 * * 
 
 * 
 
 Ancestral glory sounds their r^veil. 
 
 208
 
 How, IN THE NAME OF XV 
 goodness, comes all this, or Meditations 
 for that matter a single word of it, to '" *^^ '^^^ 
 have anything to do with those half- 
 pence which at the first you professed 
 to consider ? " may be asked by some 
 one who can so long remember so 
 small a coin. 
 
 How indeed, I reply ; except that, if 
 you throw one of them into the air, 
 this whole world of ours, and all 
 thereon, will move to meet it, unless 
 some one happens to be playing chuck- 
 farthing at the Antipodes. 
 
 Such is the power of money ! 
 
 PRINTED AT 
 
 THE BALLLANTYNE PRESS 
 
 LONDON
 
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