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 fu:n for doctoes 
 
 AND 
 
 THEIR PATIENTS 
 
 FIFTY AUTHENTIC GHOST STORIES BY 
 FIFTY EXPERIENCED PHYSICIANS. 
 
 Interspersed With Funny Jokes 
 
 AND Incidents That Have 
 
 Actually Occurred. 
 
 Compiled and Published 
 
 By J. L. Short, M. D. 
 
 ^ Oklahoma City, U. S. A.
 
 Bntered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1901, 
 
 By JOHN L. SHORT, M. D., 
 
 In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. 
 
 All rights reserved.
 
 r 
 
 CONTRIBUTORS 
 
 J. N. McCoBMiCK, M. D., L. L. D Bowling Green, Ky. 
 
 Richard H. Taylor, M. D Hot Springs, Ark. 
 
 Michael Mason, M. D • Muskegon, Mich. 
 
 WiLHELMiNA Short, M. D., D. D. S Oklahoma City 
 
 Walter Hamilton, M. D . . Toronto, Canada 
 
 H. W. Fleck, M. D Bridgeport, Conn. 
 
 G. A. Norton. M. D Aurora, 111. 
 
 W. A. Griffin, M. D Port Huron, M.^i]- 
 
 B. Moore, M. D. . . , Esperance, N. Y. 
 
 P. C. EcKELMAN, M. D Elkhart, Ind. 
 
 Henry W. Roby, M D Topeka, Kan. 
 
 W. E. H. Morse, M D Algona, Iowa 
 
 W. F. Clark, M. D Kinkier, Texas 
 
 J. B. Cummins, M. D Cryer Creek, Texas 
 
 T. R. Mason, M. D Sugar Grove, Ohio 
 
 J. D. MiNARD, M. D Imlay City, Mich, 
 
 U. N. Mellette, M. D De Land, Fla. 
 
 W. M. Wheeler, M. D Gray Summit, Mo. 
 
 F. E. SiEss, M. D Linecum, La. 
 
 C. C. Langsdorf, M. D New York City 
 
 L. MiLLiRON, M. D Flandeau, S. D. 
 
 H. D. Moore, M. D New Lexington, Pa. 
 
 D. McDiarmid, M. D., C. M Maxwell, Canada 
 
 M. J. Belden, M. D Marquoketa, Iowa 
 
 M. M. DooLEY, M, D Trinity Mills, Texas 
 
 J. L. Short, M. D Oklahoma City
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 Since a preface is customary when publishing a book, I 
 shall here offer my excuse for thrusting before the public 
 what may seem to some a volume of idle curiosity. 
 
 The object of this publication is to furnish recreation 
 and amusement for the mind, and at the same time, provide 
 a book that will remove every particle of superstition, it an> 
 exists, from those who read it, so that they may be able to 
 divest the various delusions of their ghostly mystery, and 
 fully reveal the secret of such deceptions; bat, "vhilj^ the 
 author believes that this collection of stories is especially 
 interesting and instructive from a psychological standpoint, 
 it remains for the people to pronounce the benediction. 
 
 Should this book meet the favorable consideration of 
 its readers, I shall compile new editions from time to time^ 
 adding such interesting stories as can be collected during 
 the intervals. 
 
 All stories contained herein have been accepted with 
 the understanding that they are true and authentic, but not 
 being able to judge in every instance, the author cannot 
 vouch for the claims of others. However, I am exceedingly 
 grateful to each contributor for what I have received from 
 him, and shall be thankful for other interesting stories on 
 the same terms ; but no ghost story will be accepted that 
 does not at its conclusion, or before, reveal the true cause 
 of its mysterious and delusive character J. L. S. 
 
 X
 
 A KENTUCKY GHOST STORY. 
 BY J. N. Mccormick, m. d., l. l. d., secretary of the state board 
 
 OF HEALTH OF KENTUCKY, BOWLING GREEN. 
 
 A thrifty Kentucky couple, after a few years of married 
 life as tenant farm/ers, having saved up a snug sum for the 
 purpose, decided to buy a home for themselves. Patient 
 search was made, but no place could be found that came 
 up to their long cherished ideals for a home, which was not 
 far beyond their reach in price. Excursions were planned 
 and made to other sections of the county, jointly snd singly, 
 without result. The husband w^as on one of these trips alone 
 one day, riding down a fertile valley, when, at the entrance 
 to one of the nicest of the farms, he was attracted by a notice 
 posted up : "This Farm for Sale Very Cheap." 
 
 Riding in and up to the house he found rich land and ex- 
 cellent improvements, but all the dwellings were vacant. -V: 
 ter a time he spied the owner riding across the fields', and 
 upon inquiry as to price and ternDs, was delighted to find 
 that he could pay spot cash for the entire place and have a 
 considerable surplus left. He proposed to trade at once, but 
 the honest owner said : "Before we close the trade I feel 
 it to be my duty to tell you that the reason that I am priceing 
 the place so cheap to you is because it is said that the house 
 is 'haunted.' and most people are afraid to live in it." As it 
 was near mid-day, with sunshine everywhere, when no one, 
 not even darkies and children, fear ghosts, our friend bravely 
 replied, "Pshaw! I am not afraid of ghosts; in fact, I have 
 always wanted to see 'a hant,' and chase him off the earth, 
 just to show people the folly of such things." Noticing a 
 smile of doubtful meaning on the face of the other he added 
 philosophically, "When good folks die they don't want to 
 come back, and wdien bad ones die they can't get back, and 
 to my belief that is all there is to the ghost business. Such 
 tales as these were made for niggers and children."
 
 "All right," said ihe owner, highly pleased also; "if them's 
 your views, the place: is yours." 
 
 In a short time they set out together for the county seat, 
 where the deed was made out and recorded and the transfer 
 made " for cash m hai d paid." Before they parted the 
 former owner said pleasantly, "As you like ghosts, it is 
 fortunate for you that the house is haunted, as you have 
 bought the cheapest farm that was ever sold in this country." 
 Then he said, in a serious tone, like one with conviction, "Re- 
 member, the ghost always comes just at midnight." 
 
 All that has been related had consumed time, and the 
 happy owner of the farm did not reach his home until after 
 nightfall. His enthusiasm was contagious, and over a warm 
 and substantial supper, which ha-l I awaited his coming, he 
 told his faithfrj spouse of their good fortune, enlarging, as 
 lir' .nds will do, upon the value of the land, the fine im- 
 provements, the good neighbors and everything, and es- 
 pecially upon the fact that, "It is all paid for, darling, and 
 we have ntoney left." 
 
 By this time it had grown quite dark' and he shifted un- 
 easily in his seat "'.hen his wife came over and kissed him 
 and said proudly, "Jim, you are the knowingest and smart- 
 est man alive. Now tell me how you worked the fellow and 
 got it all so cheap." Instead of waiting for broad daylight 
 and sunshine, as a more prudent husband might have done, 
 he was overcome by her importunities and evident faith in 
 his superior judgment, so he up and told her about the ghost, 
 scoffing at all such things, as men are wont to do under such 
 circumstances. Then there was a scene. The woman was 
 almost bereft of reason. She told Jim that he was a blasted 
 idiot and a good many other things like that. Between sobs 
 she told him how she had slaved and saved, all for a home, 
 and now the money was gone and they had nothing to show 
 for it but a ghost-walk. 
 
 After long pleading for peace and a compromise, it was 
 at last agreed, along in the wee small hours, that he would 
 take the few things actually necessary for existence and move 
 over and occupy the house for six months, reporting progress 
 from time to time, and if no ghost appeared nor sent any
 
 word by that time, she would pay him a visit' in the day time 
 and listen to what he had to say to justify his conduct. 
 
 With the daylight his courage rose, as did his righteous in- 
 dignation against his wife, and he soon got together the nec- 
 essities for a bachelor's home, and shortly after noon was 
 fairly fixed up in his new quarters. He was pleasantly sur- 
 prised with everything about the place, and night found him 
 in good spirits. This cheerfulness began to dtsert him 
 towards bed time, and finding that he could not sleep, he 
 decided to sit up in front of the fire and read until after 
 midnight, and so once and for all set at rest the foolish fears 
 of the former owner and his own poor deluded wife, agai ".st 
 whom he still felt a little bitter. 
 
 The time passed rather heavil}', but- midnight came at 
 last and just as the clock struck twelve a tall figure all in 
 white glided noiselessly in, and seat'ug itself on the opposite 
 side of the table, bowed politely to Oi'r friend and ^ 'd : 
 "There appears to be two of us here." "Yes," replied our 
 hero, as he rushed out of the house, with hair on end, "but 
 there will be but one of us here in a minute.'^ He rushed 
 wildly up the road for a mile or so towards his now fully 
 forgiven wife, until entirely out of breath, he sat down on 
 a log by the wayside to rest. Jnst as he did so the ghost 
 perched itself upon the log beside him, and bowmg polilel) 
 as before, said : "We have had quite a race." "Yes," replied 
 our friend, dashing madly on, "and we are going to have an- 
 other one right now." 
 
 A few days later this notice was posted up at the entrance 
 to the place,. "This Farm for Sale Dirt Cheap." "Inquire 
 of the owner at his former home." 
 
 Later discoveries revealed the fact that a demented woman 
 was in the habit of visiting this house every night at 12 
 o'clock, in response to what she fancied was a command 
 from on hieh.
 
 FOUR GHOST STORIES. 
 
 15V D. McPIARMlD, M. D., C. M.. MAXVILLE, ONT., CANADA, MEMBER 
 BRITISH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, MEMBER COLLEGE PHYSI- 
 CIANS AND SURGEONS, ONTARIO. CANADA, ASSISTANT 
 CORONER FOR STORMONT, DUNDAS AND GLENGARRY. 
 
 COUNTY OF GLENGARRY, ONTARIO. CANADA, 
 
 ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO. 
 
 PROLOGUE. 
 
 T'lis pan c*!: onr continent was occupied at the beginning" 
 of the century just ended, principally by Scottish High- 
 landers, whose descendants are still to be found on the 
 homes made by their pioneer forefathers. Many of them are 
 still able to converse in the language spoken by their fore- 
 fathers, the Ancient Britons, who opposed Caesar's Legions 
 during the invasion of Britain over 2,000 years ago. The walls 
 of the house; erected by these settlers in the wilds of Can- 
 's dn were formed of unhewn logs — at the end of each dwell- 
 ing house was found a large open fireplace communicating 
 with a large stone chimney — at the back of this fireplace was 
 a large block of wood called the backlog. In front of this, 
 supported by massive, rudely-shaped andirons, was a large 
 pile of burning firewood, giving out light and heat, before 
 which on the cold, wintry nights the members of the family 
 and perhaps visitors sat, and while watching the kaleidoscop- 
 ical changing forms of the burning coals, were entertained 
 by tales, stories and folk lore which excited the imagination 
 of young and old. It is not then a matter of surprise that 
 these "Highlanders," belonging to a race second to none in 
 fearlessness while facing real dangers, as has been often 
 proved on the battle field, would be terrified at imaginary 
 ones, believed to be due to occult causes. Happily, today 
 the newspaper and good cheap literature within the reach 
 of all, has taken the place of ghost stories and legendary
 
 tales which delighted and frightened our forefathers. The 
 following stories, if they may be called such, are true, the 
 writer being acquainted with the descendants of the parties 
 referred to. 
 
 ''SANDY" AND THE GRAVEYARD SPOOK. 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 There lived in the County of Glengarry in the early part 
 of the first quarter of the last century, two neighbors, in 
 nearly every respect types of their fellow colonists surround- 
 ing them. They were fond of playing practical jokes on 
 each other and friends. As they were, from their environ- 
 m',ent and early education, firm believers in the existence of 
 ghosts, fairies and eerie things, they were easily influenced 
 by any unusual thing which crossed their path while alone, 
 at night. 
 
 It was customary for the pioneers to do their own car- 
 penter work and shoemaking. So one, afternoon Sandy 
 (Alexander) called on his neighbor Donald, whom he found 
 busily occupied in making a pair of shoes ; the latter per- 
 suaded the former to stay with him and assist him in finish- 
 ing the shoes, laying aside a pair of blankets which he 
 bought from the executor of a deceased neighbor named 
 
 C . He complied with Donald's request, and did not 
 
 leave Donald's house till it was dark. On his way home he 
 
 had to pass a graveyard in which C was buried a 
 
 few days previously. When opposite the cemetery he was 
 startled to hear a wailing noise issuing from the graveyard, 
 
 and at last heard that the speaker was C , the owner 
 
 of the blankets he had in his possession, and begging him to 
 
 leave them as he, C , was cold, very cold. Without 
 
 a moment's hesitation he flung the blankets in the direction 
 of the graveyard, at the same time exclaiming, "There 
 are your blankets, take them ;" at the same time taking to 
 his heels, and did not stop running till he reached his own 
 house. 
 
 As soon as he left Donald's house, Donald took a short 
 cut to the graveyard, and was in time to personate the de-
 
 funct C . Donald carried Sandy's blankets home, and 
 
 waited patiently for a long time to hear the latter's account 
 
 of his int-erview with C 's ghost. At last he told the 
 
 story and returned the blankets. The next incident will tell 
 how Sandy repaid Donald. 
 
 DONALD AND 
 
 THE SPEAKING 
 CHAPTER n. 
 
 SHEEP'S HEAD. 
 
 A few 5'"ears after the oc- 
 currence of the graveyard 
 incident, Donald had erect- 
 ed a primitive house on a 
 bush farm which he bought 
 about six miles from his 
 old home. His friend Sandy 
 decided to pay him a visit, 
 as he understood that Donald was preparing to move 
 his family to their new home. It was as dark 
 as it would be when Sandy reached Donald's new 
 house. He could see Donald sitting before the huge 
 fire he had, busily making an axe handle. The spaces 
 between the logs forming the walls had not yet been 
 filled up with plaster, so it was not difficult to see the whole 
 of the interior of the house. At the end of the house, a 
 place had been left for a window, and over this was placed 
 a piece of cloth. Sandy could see outside by moonlight that 
 Donald had butchered a sheep, the head of which was lying 
 on a stump. .Not far from this, Sandy found Donald's fowl- 
 ing piece, which he had taken apart — the breech block was 
 detatched from the barrel and the latter was leaning against 
 a tree. Sandy saw at a glance that the time had now come 
 when he could get even with Donald, so he decided not to 
 enter Donald's house that night. Instead of that he took the 
 gun barrel and shoved it into the sheep's head, so that the 
 muzzle rested in the mouth. Approaching the curtcfmed 
 window he cautiously shoved the sheep's head against the 
 curtain and applied his mouth to the other end of the gun 
 barrel. Donald, hearing a noise at the end of his house.
 
 lifted his head, and was amazed to see the curtain slowly- 
 moving, and at last the well known sheep's head appearing 
 in the room. But his surprise may be imlagined when he 
 heard the sheep speak the following words : 
 
 "Donald ! Donald ! You will die on Friday and be buried 
 on Saturday." 
 
 Poor Donald fell in a heap and passed a sleepless night. 
 Sandy replaced the head and gun barrel as he found them 
 and quietly returned home. When daylight came, poor 
 Donald managed to get to his old home, threw himself on 
 the bed, bewailing his fate, and refused to be comforted. 
 His reply was, "Did not the poor sheep tell me I would 
 be dead on Friday?" At last the dreaded Friday came, and 
 Donald, surrounded by his family and friends, awaited the 
 death sentence which did not come. He did not believe the 
 sheep lied till he was sure it was past midnight. Sandy 
 did not forget to tell how he compelled the head to speak 
 good Gaelic by means of the gun barrel. 
 
 THE DEVIL DOES NOT UNDERSTAND GAELIC. 
 
 About 80 years ago, there lived in the named county 
 a physician who was a prominent person in those days. He 
 was a skillful physician and a good surgeon, and very fond 
 of a practical joke. During the Christmas holidays he would 
 have around him a select circle of friends, well versed in 
 the folk lore of his native Scottish Highlands, and able to 
 sing Ossian's poems in the original, as well as many Gaelic 
 songs. . On a particular frosty night in the latter part of 
 December, returning from the town of Cornwall, he decided 
 to have his customary jollification, and this could not be had 
 without the presence of a certain party whose Christian 
 name was Donald. No better story teller or ballad singer 
 was to be had. Donald sometimes adorned his ghost stories 
 with accounts which in those credulous days were often 
 not believed, but the doubters were often silenced by Don- 
 ald's prayer, "That if what he had told them was not the 
 truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then the 
 devil might fly away with him."
 
 The only difficulty the doctor had to overcome in getting 
 Donald was the consent of Mary, Donald's wife — as the 
 doctor's table was supplied with the best rum that Jamaica 
 could produce ; this was the chief attraction for Donald, and 
 cause of Mary's opposition. 
 
 The winter roads in those days were tortuous and marked 
 by "blazed" trees — only a few leading roads existed in the 
 country. The doctor, however, was familiar with every 
 "blazed" path found in his section of the country. One of 
 these paths passed near Donald's shanty and was the one 
 the doctor was taking to Williamstown, where he resided. 
 It was about midnight when he was passing Donald's mod- 
 est home, stopping his horse he began calling Donald in a 
 disguised voice, wishing to know the road to his home. 
 Donald appeared at the door partially dressed, reached the 
 doctor's sleigh, saw that large brown jug, got in with the 
 doctor and, covered with the sleigh robes, reached the vil- 
 lage in a short time, and was soon dressed in some of the 
 doctor's wearing apparel. 
 
 When her husband at once did not return to the house, 
 and no answer to her loud calling, Mary went to the neigh- 
 bors and told her tale. All were surprised at the mysterious 
 disappearance and could not account for it. But an old 
 man who often cautioned Donald against the use of his 
 prayer, as it was very likely the devil would some day 'take 
 him at his word and fly away with hint, now told poor 
 Mary that she need never again expect to see Donald, that 
 he was satisfied that no other than Satan himself came last 
 night and carried Donald ofif bodily. This did not trouble 
 Mary in the least, she simply said that was impossible as the 
 man spoke to him in Gaelic, which they all knew the devil 
 did not understand, and that all true Scottish Highlanders 
 fully believed this to be a fact. 
 
 Three days after this Donald was found at the doctor's. 
 
 HOW A ROVING PIG ACTED THE GHOST. 
 
 There lived in the named county, not long ago, a very 
 worthy man, and a good repository of capital stories, which
 
 he could tell by the hour, and keep up the unflagging- in- 
 terest of his auditors for a long time. 
 
 On a particular winter's night in which there was a bril- 
 liant display of the "Northern Lights," and shooting stars, 
 the ground was covered with a good layer of crisp snow, 
 which, crunched under the feet while walking over it, a 
 friend spent the evening with our hero, and the conversa- 
 tion between the host and his guest was kept up till mid- 
 night. The road between the two houses, which were 
 about two miles apart, passed by a church situated in the 
 middle of a large graveyard. A good many people passing a 
 graveyard at night do so with mingled feelings of awe and 
 fear. Our hero belonged to this class. Whilst opposite the 
 church (which was at least half a mile from any dwelling), 
 he was startled to hear a peculiar husky, prolonged sound 
 coming from the graveyard, and looking in the direction 
 from which it came was surprised to see, in the imperfect 
 light, the form of an old woman in white coming on a trot 
 towards the highway. One glance at the apparition was 
 enough to put mettle in his heels. He had no time to stop, 
 as he could hear the prolonged gutteral sound repeated at 
 intervals and gaining on him. After running about half a 
 mile, a sleigh in charge of a neighbor met him. He fell and 
 remained in an unconscious .condition for a short tim€. On 
 coming to his senses, the ghost was there in the form of a 
 large white pig, belonging to his late host. 
 
 MY GHOSTLY EXPERIENCE. 
 
 BY M. J. BBLDEN, M. D., MARQUOKETA, IOWA. 
 
 I have lived up to the allotted age of man, and forty- 
 nine years of that time I have practiced the so-called healing 
 art, and during my time I have heard and read many myster- 
 ious things. I read of an all-wise, powerful, and just God ; 
 and I am satisfied that such a being exists, for the time was 
 when I did not exist, and then I was, and now I am. I have
 
 also read of a devil — a cloven-footed, dishonest devil, creat- 
 ed by the same God, but have never seen one. I have met 
 those who told me there is such a being, for they had seen 
 him. I also am told there are disembodied spirits hovering 
 above and around us human beings, and I have also heard 
 there were truly such things as "ghosts". I hear of them as 
 being seen almost every day, and often see illustrations of 
 them in newspapers ; and from the fact that, notwithstand- 
 ing the three score and ten years I have lived, I am still in 
 the pursuit of more '^light" and knowledge in regard to 
 spirits, and ghosts in particular; and hoping I may learn 
 something more about them, I write of my experience, think- 
 ing that perhaps it may induce others to do the same. 
 
 Years ago, when I was a young man and a student, a mate 
 and friend of mine had occasion to go into the country in 
 a rural district in the sate of New York. We were detained 
 at a gathering where we were until the middle of the night, 
 at which time we started for home, and at a rather lonely 
 point on the road which we traveled, we had to pass a 
 country grave yard (the place where ghosts are generally 
 seen). I happened to look into the yard, and for the first 
 and only time in my life, I saw a ghost, I could see 
 it perfectly plain. The sky was clear, the moon was 
 full, and it was nearly as light as day. I called my comrade's 
 attention to it. I was willing to testify at the tim(e, that a 
 ghost was there, and I had a witness with me — a sober, 
 candid, intelligent man — who also saw the apparition. How 
 long we gazed at the ghostly object I know not. At length 
 my comrade spoke. He suggested that we go and alarm the 
 neighbors in the vicinity and bring them forth to view the 
 ghostly sight. I told him^ no ! That would not do for two 
 medical students ! That we must climb the fence and at- 
 tack its majesty first, and if we were vanquished, we would 
 try and give the alarm afterwards. I climbed the fence and 
 started towards it, my comrade following. The ghost was 
 about six rods from the road, and when I had advanced 
 about two rods, the ghost looked more awful to me. I will 
 not make an attempt to describe how it appeared to me at 
 that time. I halted and looked for my friend and pretended 
 to scold him for not coming on faster. After halting to 
 
 lo
 
 speak to my comrade and looking around again. I saw it 
 move ; it first appearing the size of an ordinary person, then 
 becoming- about fourteen feet high. Just reflect one 
 moment — in a country grave yard, a ghost standing on the 
 middle of a newly made grave, wrapped in a winding sheet 
 from' the crown of head to the feet, and at twelve o'clock at 
 night ! I went a little nearer, and, to be truthful, the nearer 
 I got to the ghost, the farther from it I wished that I were; 
 but so far I had not been hurt, so I kept slowly moving 
 nearer to her. I say her from the fact that ghosts are gen- 
 erally said to be of the feminine gender. I kept moving a 
 little nearer until I was within about six feet of her, when 
 I halted again. I did not know how to proceed. I did not 
 feel like going up and embracing her ghostship. I did not 
 want to shout for help or run. I almost wished I had talien 
 my friend's advice and called the neighbors; but alas! it 
 was too late for regrets, for just as I began to feel every in- 
 dividual hair upon my head raise, she spoke ! and behold, 
 it was no ghost, but a live woman, and then the "vail" was 
 removed, and the woman glared in plain view. Although 
 it was in the balmy night, she did not talk to me like the 
 lady Eve talked to Adam in the Garden of Eden, for -she 
 had no forbidden fruit to tempt me to eat ; but in a rather 
 loud tone of voice said : "'What in the name of God are 
 you watching me for?" Then I knew who and what she 
 was, for I recognized the voice as that of a poor crazy creat- 
 ure living in the neighborhood, who was in the habit of 
 wandering abroad whenever she could evade the vigilence of 
 her friends. And so my ghost was accounted for. 
 
 After a little persuasion, we got her to start for home, 
 which happened to be on our road. We had gone but a 
 short distance when we met her friends, who were out look- 
 ing for her, having missed her from her bed. 
 
 After we left the ghost I asked my friend for his opinion 
 of our experience, and if he was scared. He quietly in- 
 formed me he was not frightened at all. I then asked him 
 why he walked so slow when we were going to confrofit 
 the ghost. He said "Oh ! I was not afraid, but had eaten so 
 many apples at the party that I was fearing an attack of 
 cholera morbus." It did not effect me that way, however,
 
 but a portion of the time I felt as though my hair was try- 
 ing to raise my hat from my head ; perhaps to cool my fev- 
 ered brain. I have looked for ghosts many times since that 
 night, but have failed to find another. 
 
 A GHOSTLY CAT. 
 
 BY L. L. DOOLFA'. M. D.. TRINITY MILLS, TEXAS. 
 
 ity avoided the 
 not be hired to 
 young man who 
 
 place in 
 go near 
 
 Years ago, there stood 
 a vacant house, in an old 
 deserted field, which was 
 said to be haunted. Many 
 curious things had been 
 reported concerning this 
 lonesome spot, and the 
 women and children, and 
 some men of the commun- 
 the daytime, and could 
 it after dark. A certain 
 
 denied that such a thing as a ghost 
 existed, volunteered to go and sleep in this haunted 
 house for $io. An old man ofifered him the money, 
 provided he would remain all night, and the young man 
 accepted. A dark, cold and rainy night was selected, and 
 the brave young man who had never experienced the least 
 feeling of superstition, proceeded to perform his task, saying 
 that it was an easy way to make money. He entered the 
 old house that had not been occupied by a human being for 
 years, built a fire in the old fire place, warmed himself, and 
 then reclined at ease on a cot which he had carried along 
 with him. Soon he noticed a very large black cat appear 
 before the fire, thoroughly soaked with water. The cat 
 seated himself on the hearth in front of the fire and began 
 the task of drying his hair by the licking process. Occas- 
 ionally the cat would look back over his shoulder at t^'^ 
 young man on the cot. The young man did not object to
 
 his companion, but rather enjoyed looking at him, till the 
 cat gave one long, straight look at the young man, and 
 seemed to say, "It is a damp, cold night!" The young man 
 kept still, but thought it strange that the cat should speak 
 so plainly. The cat, after licking himself a few times, again 
 looked straight at the young man, and said, "You are a 
 brave young man !" This brought the young man to a sit- 
 ting posture, and he sat on the edge of his cot gazing at this 
 speaking cat, and wondering what would be the best thing 
 to 'do under the circumstances. The cat gave a few more 
 swipes at his wet coat, and then with a fierce and wild gaze 
 at the young man, said, ''There is no one here but you and 
 I!" This was too much for the young man. At one jump 
 he reached the door, saying, "Yes and there will be no one 
 but you in a few minutes." The young man lost no time in 
 reaching the nearest house, where he, in an excited manner, 
 gave all the details of his ghostly experience. The next day 
 he was mortified to learn that the old man who hired him 
 to stay in the house was a ventriloquist, and had soaked the 
 cat in water and slipped him through a crack in the house, 
 ana, watching till the cat looked at the young man, spoke 
 for the cat, throwing his voice, so that it appeared as though 
 the cat was speaking. 
 
 AN ORIGINAL GHOST STORY. 
 
 BY RICHARD H. TAYLOR, M. D.. HOT SPRINGS, ARK. 
 
 Dear Doctor — Your call 
 for authentic ghost ex- 
 perience revives an abso- 
 lutely true circumstance of 
 thirty odd years ago, which 
 at the time was first har- 
 rowing, then laughable, and 
 may be now amusing to 
 some of your readers. 
 I was a Confederate surgeon on detailed duty at Colum- 
 bia, South Carolina, at the time of the destruction of that 
 
 13
 
 beautiful city by Sherman's army. A few weeks afterward 
 I started on foot, the invading force having left no other 
 means of travel, for Wangeburg Court House, about fifty 
 miles distant. I selected the broad line of Sherman's de- 
 vastation as possibly the safest from Jayhawkers and other 
 dangers. I had walked all day through that most grewsome 
 pathway, inhaling foul contamination from decomposing an- 
 imal matter and seeing upon numbers of trees ■ dead and 
 mangled bodies of both the Blue and the Gray. So, my dear 
 doctor, you see my mind was well prepared for the uncanny 
 and tempestuous night soon to follow. Dark and angry 
 clouds rapidly gathered on the brow of night, the windows 
 of heaven appeared to suddenly open, and relentless Jupiter 
 Pluvialia soon deluged the earth in water. Fortunately an 
 old deserted church stood near by, and in Avhich I sought 
 friendly shelter. By this time tangible darkness embraced 
 the world. I continuously felt my way until I .found a bench 
 and then with a haversack for a pillow I hoped to quietly 
 spend the night. All of a sudden the room was briefly but 
 brilliantly lighted by electricity, and I saw, or thought I 
 saw, a man with white raiment and flowing beard, stand- 
 ing in the rickety pulpit, with outstretched arms. A 
 moment later another glare enabled me to verify my exper- 
 ience, only the head now had a threatening movement. I 
 confess I was well frightened, and for a time lost all resist- 
 ance. I ran to the door. There I stopped and thought, 
 Can I, a soldier, be running from a ghost? I, who had for 
 four years carried my life in my hands, ready at any time to 
 surrender. I, who had so often mingled Avith death, was 
 actually afraid of an unarmed and harmless ghost. Pistol 
 in hand, I went back, advanced to the steps of the pulpit, 
 and demanded who or what was there. No answer coming, 
 I declared my solemn intention of shooting on the coimt of 
 three. Just as T reached two, however, I received an awful 
 blow as if from a sledge hammer. The stars suddenly 
 seemed to forget their obscurity, for I must have seen a 
 hundred. The blow turned me heels over head into the 
 amen corner, where I lay for some time in physical 
 torture. After a while I distinctly heard receding footsteps, 
 when another flash of lightning enabled nile to distinguish 
 
 14
 
 my frightful ghost as an interrupted and offended billy goat, 
 like myself, seeking protection from the storm. Peace was 
 speedily restored. His goatship returned to straw and I to 
 dream of distant home. 
 
 A GHOST STORY THAT IS TRUE. 
 
 BY DR. MICHAEL MASON, MUSKEGON, MICH. 
 
 In the fall of 1865, I was 
 called to Pine Grove Hill. 
 V^an Buren county, Mich- 
 igan, to act as physician 
 and surgeon for sixteen 
 saw mills located in that 
 vicinity, having just com- 
 pleted my services in that 
 capacity in the war of 1861. 
 The country was new, but in places was thickly settled with 
 an active lumber business, furnishing employment for at least 
 two thousand men and others. Everything was humming; in 
 activity, and everybody was expecting my advent to the 
 mill district. 
 
 I located over the mill store and postoffice. near the 
 Brandywine Lake, a beautiful sheet of water reddened by 
 Tamarack surrounding its margin. I had just set up for ac- 
 tive duty, among strange people to my acquaintance, by 
 September 20, 1865, which was a day portentious of an 
 equinoxial storm, with rain. It was 9 o'clock, p. m., that I 
 was greeted by hurried steps and a vigorous rap at my of- 
 fice door. "I wish to see Dr. Mason, my mother is very 
 sick and wants him now." I stepped in and told him that 
 I was Dr. Mason, and asked his name and the residence of 
 his mother. He replied that his name was John Sisson. and 
 that he lived at home with his father and mother a mile west 
 of Gobies' grave yard in a log house on the south side of 
 the road on the hill. "Will you go?" he asked. I replied 
 
 15
 
 in the affirmative and then he lit out like a deer for home. 
 In twenty minutes my horse was at the door in waiting, I ad- 
 justed my heavy saddlebags, mounted and cantered away 
 to the westward, as directed, over an untrodden road by 
 me. The murky clouds excluded the sky, and darkness like 
 a pall was my surrounding, as flash after flash of lightning 
 gave sight to my guidance to the road that led through for- 
 ests, and now and then to the open. 
 
 The graveyard camje in sight by the aid of another flash, 
 accompanied by a terrible peal of thunder just over my head 
 that made my artillery horse tremble like a leaf, and I must 
 say I was nearly as much frightened as was my horse, but 
 we sped away and soon brought up at the log house on the 
 knoll, where my prospective patient resided. I hastened in. 
 "Mrs. Sisson, I believe?'' "Yes, Doctor, I am in terrible ag- 
 only with bilious colic and dysentery." I gave her ano- 
 dynes, and hastened away to reach home before I would en- 
 counter a heavy rain storm that was expressed by the deep- 
 ening clouds and peals of thunder. I hastily mounted and 
 was flying homeward, and as I neared the cemetery, three or 
 four quivering flashes revealed the graveyard at my left 
 and nearly opposite me, I saw a body dressed in a black 
 mantle rise our of the earth and stand still, where it was 
 vacant a half minute before. 
 
 I was not frightened, but attributed this to abberation of 
 vision from the lightening's fiery wing. I, at the same time, 
 discovered that the fine saddle blanket was nearly out from 
 under my McClellen saddle, that necessitated me to dis- 
 mount and readjust it with tighter girth. At the same moment 
 another flash, with a deafening peal of thunder and rain 
 pouring down upon me with a driving wind, I heard a flut- 
 ter nearby, as heavy sheets on a clothes line. Near my left 
 I saw on the fence the figure that rose out of the ground 
 two or three miinutes before, with a dark mantle waving in 
 the wind. I did not take this as optical illusion, but a real 
 object — ghost, a robber, perhaps. All the hideous stories 
 told me in childhood by my German mother came before me 
 like a dream. My horse shied to one side, as far as long 
 bridle rein would admit, that was on my arm at my elbow 
 At that moment T was seized by the collar of my Prince 
 
 i6
 
 Albert, and the skirt, by the figure from the grave yard. 
 With terrible force, my coat was torn from the cleft of the 
 skirt to the collar at one jerk. Here my instinctive nature 
 began to assert its prerogative. I seized the figure with a 
 bull-dog grasp by the neck, and at the same time my horse 
 maae a lee-lvirch and I and the figure came to anchor in soft, 
 holding ground, and both qf us were dragged quite across 
 the road by the horse ; a part of the time I was under, and 
 at other times I was on top. Not a word was uttered ; no 
 noise but thunder, rain, and my snorting equine. As my 
 figure was at that moment in .a quiescent state, I hastily 
 mounted and cantered away. 
 
 My silk tile was jammed down to my ears and soft as a 
 dish rag; my coat skirts were slopping my horse right and 
 left on his ears; my saddlebags at every jump pounding 
 my hoxse in the flanks, as he was trying to dissipate space to 
 his full capacity. We soon reached home. It was eleven 
 at night ; wife had retired. I rapped vigorously at the door ; 
 she unlocked and opened it. She screamed and did her levej 
 best to lock me out. I had been too full for utterance, but 
 at this juncture, like Baalam's ass, I opened my mouth and 
 spake: "My dear wife, be not afraid; it is I, your loving 
 husband — what is left of him." She turned up the light, and 
 on seeing my plight she screamed out: *'My God! What is 
 the matter?" Now, I was in a quandary what to reply, as 
 secretiveness was a ruling trait with me; and a non-believer 
 in ghosts, I was not going to commit mysel-f to that belief 
 then. "Do tell how you got into this terrible condition." My 
 mother-wit began to radiate, and I told her that I was out in 
 all this dreadful equinoxial storm, and that a bolt of lighten- 
 ing came down, struck my tile and bounded down my back 
 and tore my coat, and that I fell to the earth in coma, and 
 that my horse must have drawn me quite a dis- 
 tance through the mud and water. She exclaimed: 
 "My God ! You are lucky that you and your horse 
 both were not killed. Why, of all the freaks of light- 
 ning, I never heard of such a miraculous escape." T told 
 her fools are always lucky. "My gracious ! You don't call 
 yourself a fool, do you?" "Yes, I do.'" was the reply. She 
 asked for mv reasons for the remark. I told her it was an 
 
 17
 
 old tradition among all peoples that if there :s a fool in the 
 family, that he either wants to preach or practice medicine, 
 and the old woman said: "Vox Populi Vox Deiest." She re- 
 plied : "Here, that is enough ; here are your clothes ; there 
 is a tub of warm water; get ready for bed." And added: 
 "Perhaps you would like a lunch before retiring?" I said: 
 ''No, I am too full to eat; trouble is food, or at least jt ar- 
 rests appetite." I enjoined my wife to keep mute, and to 
 not mention any part of this episode in my first call, as it 
 would do me no good. 
 
 Before leaving Mrs. Sisson, my first patient in Van Buren 
 county, I requested Mr. Sisson to report to me at 4 o'clock 
 next day in the afternoon. Mr. John Sisson materialized on 
 time, said his mother was much improved, and had medicine 
 enough to carry her through; if not, he would report. He 
 paid my bill, with thanks, then asked me if I had heard the 
 news about Mrs. Bell, who had lost her husband a week 
 ago. I replied that I had not. He then told me that 
 Mr. Bell had been buried in the Goble cemetery, and 
 that Mrs. Bell, his wife, had gone raving crazy over it and 
 had escaped from home in the storm, unbeknown to her 
 folks, and was found in the morning a mile west from the 
 graveyard, wandering about, all covered with mud and wet 
 to the skin and quivering with cold, at nine o'clock that 
 morning. On being found, she said she owed her husband 
 a good, old-fashioned whipping, and that she dug him up 
 and gave him a good trouncing in the road, and a fiery horse 
 materialized and her husband, in a jiffy, flew off with the 
 horse in the air — that his wings were black and six feet 
 long, and that he and the horse entered a b'g cloud and 
 was gone out of sight. So, a committee was sent to Goble's 
 cemetery to see if she had been there in that rainy, stormy 
 night. They found the earth thrown out of the grave to 
 the box containing the casket, and in the road they found 
 signs of a serious struggle. They also found horse tracks 
 all around, and a man's tracks, and Mrs. Bell's tracks, and 
 a man's necktie and collar in the mud. 
 
 My wife, hearing Mr. Sisson's recital of news, kept her 
 peace till after Mr. Sisson's departure. Then she got up 
 and overliauled my dirty, muddy clothing. No collar or 
 
 18
 
 necktie to be found in the lot. She turned and took her 
 seat near me, and with a quivering lip she began to speak 
 of last night's experience in the storm at the cemetery in 
 this manner, to-wit : "My dear, I did not find your collar 
 rior necktie among your clothes taken off last night, and 
 not being here, and the same being found in the road near 
 the graveyard ; horse tracks, man's tracks and woman's 
 tracks in great profusion, creates in me a wonderment that 
 I would like to have explained. I, at least, think your 
 lightning story not true, or at best mixed." I acknowledged 
 that she was correct; that I was so mixed up when I got 
 home that it was impossible to tell anything just as it might 
 have been, and she must await further developments as it 
 all appeared like a dream to me. You will please excuse 
 me at this time. 
 
 A VERITABLE GHOST. 
 
 BY DR. MICHAEL MASON. MUSKEGON, MICH. A TRUE STORY THAT 
 
 HAS BEEN KEPT A SECRET ON ACCOUNT OF AUTO- 
 
 PERSONAL INTEREST. 
 
 Twentv wearisome years 
 had been by the ceaseless 
 pulse of time beaten into 
 the past eternity after my 
 first ghost experience at the 
 Gobleville cemetery before 
 my second experience in 
 ghost-craft occurred. 
 
 I was called to see a 
 young lady six miles away, 
 who was at her grand parents on a visit, expecting to stay a 
 Aveek or more, to rest up and recuperate her vitality. I was 
 told where to find her and that I need not necessarily bother 
 the old folks, and that she would be in waiting for me till 
 lo o'clock p. m. that day. but as my office was crowded till 
 
 19
 
 ro o'clock. I did not get there till eleven at night. I rapped 
 at the door gently but no response. I then went to her bed 
 room window, tapped, no reply, but saw her in the 
 balmy embrace of ^lorpheus with a light in the 
 room, and to follow instructions not to disturb thfe 
 grand parents. I gently raised the window and was 
 nearly in her room. She suddenly awakened with 
 a scream which aroused the old folks, and at the same mom- 
 ent a big bull dog seized me by the seat of my pants, drew 
 me out of the window, and with two or three vigorous vi- 
 brations of the head, I was minus the seat of my new worsted 
 pants, and had a few dental punctures in my natial region, 
 while the dog was experimenting with his trophy. I got in 
 where my prospective patient was in a calm expectancy of 
 my immediate return, having told grandma that she had 
 been dreaming, and had in her dream been terribly frightened 
 by nightmare, told them it was a common occurence for her 
 to yell out in a dream, requesting her to retire, which she 
 did. Soon the door was open for me and I was open for 
 business with more or less hyperaesthesia at my transom, as 
 the sailor calls it. 
 
 I was not long in dispensing the needed specific for 
 amenorrhoea of the suppressio type. I mounted my sulky 
 and sped homeward, having to pass the place of my first 
 ghost experience a few years prior, and as I came near the 
 grave yard, I discovered therein a few hay cocks from 
 grass which had grown in the cemetery, and at that time 
 hay was scarce at twenty dollars per ton, and I was entirely 
 out of hay and did not expect a supply under two days. I 
 resolved to take with me a hitching strap full ; so I hitched 
 my horse beyond the four corners of the road, got over into 
 the cemetery, and rolled up all I could tie with the strap. I 
 left my hat under the seat so that it would not be mussed 
 by hay that I, like my German mother, carried on my head. 
 As I scaled the fence, I heard some voices of persons wno 
 were rapidly approaching. I sat thinking they might pass 
 by and not observe me with the hay on my head. One of 
 the men screamed out terribly as he got near me. "A ghost? 
 A ghost!" looked at me in the haze of the misty darkness, 
 screamed again, then all broke away in different d'rections-
 
 with yells at every bound. I. at that time, did not delay in 
 mounting my sulky and sped for home with my hay. I got 
 there without further accident, opened my door with my 
 night key, took off what was left of the pants, hid it and 
 put on another pair, then went in my wife's room, who w^as 
 in a deep somniferous quietude. No questions by her on 
 this occasion. 
 
 The next day there appeared in the Gobleville News that ' 
 a veritable ghost had been seen at the Gobleville cemetery, 
 eight feet high, with head as big as a hay cock, with awful 
 eyes and teeth; that Tom Welch and old Mr. Strong saw 
 it at the same time, that it stood inside the grave yard fence, 
 and that its eyes were balls of fire, and its teeth as large as 
 horse teeth, that both Welch and Strong were not able to 
 be out by their fright. I was called to see them, they were 
 both affected alike with involuntary defecation and lassi- 
 tude which yielded to pill opii. My bill was two dollars 
 each, and was cheerfully paid. 
 
 A LIVELY CORPSE. ' 
 
 BY WILHELMINA SHORT. M.D., D.D.S., OKLAHOMA CITY. 
 
 During the winter of 1894, in dental school in Chicago, 
 where over 250 students were in attendance, one cold 
 morning we were waiting for the professor of anatomy to 
 come and enlighten us on the muscular system by demon- 
 stration on a cadaver, which had been brought in before 
 the class by two students to whomi this ghostly duty had 
 been assigned. The dead body was on a narrow table and 
 covered with a white sheet. The sight of this table caused 
 a solemnity to reign supreme over the entire audience. It 
 was indeed a solemn spectacle, for many present had never 
 before witnessed such a scene. Soon the door of the lecture 
 room opened, and Dr. E. entered, and was received by the 
 students with the usual applause. After a dignified nod of 
 his head as a recognition of their greeting, he stepped to
 
 the "stiff," remarking, "today we will take up the muscular 
 system;" and then he lifted the sheet for the purpose of ex- 
 posing the dead body, when the cadaver jumped from the 
 table and ran as fast as his feet could carry him through the 
 awe-stricken audience, to the nearest exit, through which 
 he escaped. Profound silence reigned for a time, then the 
 professor looked at the students, and the students looked 
 at the professor, then all at once seemed to grasp the idea 
 that a mischevious student, or students, had played the 
 prank of acting cadaver, and had run to save himself from 
 the cruel treatment of a frisfhtened mob. 
 
 TWO GHOST STORIES. 
 
 BY WALTER. HAMILTON, M. D., TORONTO, CANADA. 
 
 UN MAUVAIS QUART D'HOURE. 
 (A BAD QUARTER OP AN HOUR.) 
 
 When I was in my second year in the University of T — , 
 subsequently taking my later medical education in the city 
 of New York, some five or six of us got quite behind in 
 our dissecting work on Subject No. 23, and had accordingly 
 been warned that any further loss of time would result in 
 the said cadaver being taken from us and given to more 
 attentive students. So. behold ! one bleak, stormy Saturday 
 night we gathered in force in the old dissecting room of 
 the T — School of Medicine and went to work and study 
 with the most praiseworthy diligence. 
 
 It was a dark, bleak, blustering November night, just 
 such a night as would bring one's thoughts involuntarily to 
 the domain of all that is superstitious and fearful. Out- 
 side the old building the wind howled and mourned in fit- 
 ful gusts and eddies, causing the ancient elms, growing in 
 the vicinity of the college walls, to creak and moan as if 
 in ])rotest at the wild outbursts of the tempestuous gale. 
 Inside we had arranged things to our satisfaction and were
 
 prepared to go ahead with the work at hand. There were 
 five of us, and in the dissecting room were about eighteen 
 subjects in every stage of dissection and in every position 
 needful for the proper prosecution of study. 
 
 In order to get on more hurriedly and at the same time 
 to facilitate our. operations, the "subject," No. 23, on which 
 we were engaged, being at a stage of partial dissection, we 
 had divided the cadaver into two parts by cutting through 
 one of the inter-vertebral spaces, and placed the upper por- 
 tion, including the head, thorax and arms on a table be- 
 hind that one on which we were operating but which was 
 parallel to it in position. 
 
 Two of my companions, T — and N — , sat between the 
 two tables with their backs, of course, towards the other 
 table on which the said upper portion reclined ; they being 
 busily engaged with the "subject" on our own. The re- 
 maining three sat facing T — and N, and at the farther side 
 of our dissecting table. 
 
 The old "antique" and celebrated janitor of that day, 
 but now occupying a similar position in one of the great 
 medical colleges of one of the most prosperous western 
 states and a most excellent character in many respects, 
 had secretly let us have this opportunity at this late hour 
 and had discreetly retired down stairs to his den in the base- 
 mient, after leaving us a poor, measly, half-lit lamp to shed 
 what light it possibly could on the abtruse anatomical prob- 
 lem before us. Where the lamp stood there was a little 
 halo of light ; without that halo was inky, pitch-black 
 darkness ! 
 
 We gathered around the table and the conversation, 
 which at first had been general and vivacious, either 
 through the intensity of our study or influenced by our sur- 
 roundings, at last had become quite desultory, keeping up 
 by fits and starts, finally being unbroken for lengthened 
 periods at a time. The darkness and gloom of the room, 
 vast and barn-like in its dimensions; the violence of the 
 storm without and the gruesome nature of our entourage 
 were not, indeed, without their efiFect. and a somewhat eirie 
 spirit of "je ne sais quoishness" fell over the little party 
 
 23
 
 and no wonder — although said party was composed of sec- 
 ond year medical students ! 
 
 H — was repeating in the most fascinating manner — his 
 reputation as a story-teller was of the highest — the account 
 of some ''resurrectionist" experiences in a little town ceme- 
 tery at some distance from the city, and had just entered 
 upon a weird description of the sounds proceeding from the 
 corpse as he and his companion dragged it over 'the grave- 
 yard hillocks towards their rendezvous — when at a partic- 
 ularly stronger outburst of the storm outside, there flashed 
 from the darkness into the white circle of light, encompass- 
 ing us — the curved, talon-like hand of a dead man, dark 
 green with the signs of decomposition, and struck T — 
 a blow on the side of the face ! 
 
 So worked up had been the nerves of the company that, 
 without a moment's hesitation, the whole crowd of students 
 precipitatedly left their stools (some of which were over- 
 turned in the melee) and rushed for the door through which 
 one or two nearly fell in their anxiety to get away from 
 the object of their sudden dread. 
 
 Maturer councils prevailed, and then, looking back into 
 the room;, they observed the overturned stools, the fallen 
 books and other evidences of their hasty flight, in the midst 
 of all the little lamp flickered out its dismal apology for 
 radiance. The bolder spirits recovered their breath, and 
 all went back to discover the cause of their fright. 
 
 It seems that the upper part of our ''subject," the head, 
 arms and thorax, had been placed on its back, the arms 
 being crossed on its chest. During the prosecution of our 
 dissection and the course of our conversation, one of the 
 arms, viz., that one near to T— and N — , had gradually, 
 by the force of gravitation and its inherent weight, begun 
 to pull away from its former position, and as H^ had 
 reached a most interesting and opportune period in his story, 
 the limb had suddenly swung downwards over the side of 
 the dissecting table, striking T — in its swinging descent! 
 The state of our nerves, the concomitant condition of the 
 elements that night, etc., etc.. had done the rest! 
 
 24
 
 SUPERSTITION VS. COLD FACTS. 
 
 Some years ago. when a 
 young lad of sixteen, at- 
 tending the Collegiate In- 
 stitute a't N — , I lived with 
 my very old grandparents 
 in a large, many-roomed, 
 somewhat dreary old resi- 
 dence in a quiet neighbor- 
 hood. 
 About 4 p. m. I had received a telegram stating that the 
 immediate decease of a favorite brother was expected at al- 
 most any hour, and that I might prepare for a summons 
 home at any moment. 
 
 It was about midnight and I sat with my grandmother 
 around a stove, which on account of the unseasonable 
 weather, was still in use. I was feeling very miserable and 
 in a deep fit of the "blues." My grandmother sat asleep 
 in her comfortable arm-chair, while grandfather, who was 
 a long-suffering victim of sciatica and chronic rheumatism, 
 half-reclined against the end of a bed-stead in the room and 
 half knelt on a chair nearby, occasionally falling asleep as 
 he stood. 
 
 The night was very quiet, except an occasional draught 
 of Avind, which disturbed the old sign-boards, trees, etc., 
 in the street. Silence brooded in our room. 
 
 Of course, each one's thoughts had been upon the ex- 
 pected telegram and upon my brother's approaching death. 
 Suddenly, without warning and ver}^ clearly, came three 
 distinct knocks, as if some strong hand hitting the door 
 with a small mallet. One! Two!! Three!!! All heard it 
 and started up at once. 
 
 "My, what's that?" ejaculated my thoroughly aroused 
 grandmother. No one having an explanation, her query 
 remained unanswered. 
 
 She thereupon said that it, undoubtedly, was a warning 
 of the death of my brother and in connection with her state- 
 ment went on to tell of how often such intimations had been 
 received bv members of her familv in England. How one 
 
 25
 
 night an aunt of hers, journeying in a stage-coach from Lon- 
 don to Bath, had seen in the darkness without the window 
 of the vehicle, the sad, woe-stricken countenance of a 
 favorite sister, whom she did not know at that time to be 
 ill. On her arrival in the great western city, she was in- 
 formed of the same sister's death ! 
 
 My grandfather, a hard-headed, shrewd old Scotchman, had 
 been listening to all this without comment, but with a grim 
 smile of amused contempt, which in memory to this day I 
 can yet see. 
 
 "Well, mistress, if you are through, I might be allowed 
 to explain that the noise — the 'spirit raps' — were caused by 
 my heavy blackthorn cane falling from my hand (while I 
 momentaril}'- fell asleep) and then running rapidly down 
 and along the three large protuberances on the end of the 
 old bed-stead, which at that part had the old-fashioned bead- 
 work, so common (then) in wood work !" 
 
 "A HA^ISH FIEND." 
 
 DR. H. W. FLECK, BRIDGEPORT, CONN. 
 
 One cold winter's night, as I was preparing for bed, I 
 heard a loud knock at my office door. Glancing at the 
 clock, I noticed it was midnight, and wondering who my 
 late visitor could be, hurried to the door. Upon opening 
 my door, I was not obliged to exercise the courtesy of in- 
 viting my late caller in, for as soon as the door was opened 
 he rushed by me like the snow and wind which followed 
 after. 
 
 Upon going into mjy inner office, I was dumfounded to 
 find a man of dwarfish stature, resembling and acting like 
 a beast more than like a man. He was about five feet high 
 as he stood, his face was bloated and badly splotched, 
 while his eyes were streaked with alternate red and yellow. 
 Yiis movements were quick and nervous, and as he hopped 
 around my office he reminded me of Mr. iHyde' in Steven- 
 son's famous romance. 
 
 26
 
 The first words he uttered when I entered the room, were, 
 "Where is your hashish bottle?" and from that time on I 
 knew that I was in the presence of a hashish fiend. Taking 
 the hashish from the medicine case, I poured out a large dose 
 of the extract and handed it to my midnight visitor. He 
 immediately seized the glass, as if he were afraid I would 
 disappear, and drank the contents at one gulp. 
 
 Immediately after drinking the liquid he tottered feebly 
 to a chair, where he lay collapsed for a few minutes, then 
 he suddenly straightened up, and a most wonderful trans- 
 formation had taken place; he no longer walked about with 
 that shrunken form, but stood erect and appeared fully five 
 inches taller. The sodden dullness of his expression dis- 
 appeared and was replaced by keen sensibility and intelli- 
 gence. 
 
 "Doctor," began my strange visitor, "I was once a man 
 with wife, children, money and friends, but one day I was 
 taken ill with that painful affection known to your profes- 
 sion as Tic-Dulea-Rue and sent for a physician. Upon his 
 arrival he prescribed hashish, known to your profession as 
 cannabis indicae. How well do I remember that day, as 
 I had suffered unspeakable torture for ten hours, and then 
 to be transferred from hell to heaven, as it were. I well re- 
 member how I blessed the drug for producing this effect 
 in transferring me from a world of care and pain to a place 
 of rest and happiness. I blessed the drug and the physician 
 that day, but, oh, how often I have cursed them since. My 
 painful action lasted for weeks, at the end of which time 
 I was a confirmed hashish fiend. My physician paid me 
 his first call at 4:30 p. m. I took the drug according to his 
 directions, but no immediate symptoms were produced. 
 About 7 p. m. I became perfectly oblivious to surrounding 
 objects. I was sitting up at the time when I suddenly 
 recollected where I was, and looking up, saw my wife sit- 
 ting before me. The conviction was irresistible that I had 
 sat thus many minutes, perhaps hours, and directly the idea 
 fastened itself that the hemp had commenced to act. 
 
 "Shortly after this I became quite excited, and a feeling of 
 hilarity now came over me. It was not a sensous feeling, 
 in the ordinary meaning of the term, it was a sort of bien- 
 
 27
 
 etre, the very opposite to malaise. It did not come from 
 without, it was not connected with any passion or sense. 
 It was simply a feeling of inner joyousness. My heart 
 seemed bouyant beyond all trouble ; my whole system felt 
 as though all sense of fatigue were forever banished ; my 
 mind ran riot, free to leap from one idea to another. I was dis- 
 posed to laugh, make comic gestures. A row of bottles on the 
 shelf soon became the center of great attraction for me, in 
 the fact that I imagined they were trying to leap over each 
 other. After this I felt a numbness in my limbs, also a 
 feeling of uneasiness and unrest and a fear lest I had taken 
 an overdose. I now constantly walked about the house ; my 
 skin to myself was warm, in fact, my whole surface felt 
 flushed ; my mouth and throat were very dry ; my legs put 
 on a strange foreign feeling, as though they were not a part 
 of my body. A foreboding and undefined horrible fear, as 
 of impending death, now commenced to creep over me. I 
 alarmed liiy wife so much with my strong assertions of ap- 
 proaching death that she again summoned the physician. 
 The curious sensation in my limbs increased. Aly legs felt 
 as though they were waxen pillars beneath me. I remem- 
 ber of feeling my legs ; they felt hard like stone. 
 
 "I now began to have periods when all connection seemed 
 to be severed between the external world and myself. I 
 was oblivious to. all external objects, but on coming out of 
 one it was not a blank, dreamless void upon which I looked 
 back, a mere empty space, but rather a period of active but 
 aimless life. There was no connecting thought in them, 
 only wild reveries, without any link. The duration of these 
 spells to me was very great, but upon consulting my watch 
 found them to be only a minute or two. I now lost the 
 power of measuring time, minutes were days and hours were 
 infinite. What I thought to be hours were only m-nutes. 
 Objects which were near appeared to be a vast distance 
 away. My limbs now began to grow cold. When I lifted 
 my legs, it was like lifting lumps of lead. From now on all 
 these symptoms became intensified ; the periods of uncon- 
 sciousness became longer, and during my periods of con- 
 sciousness, intellection was more imperfect. The feeling 
 
 28
 
 of death became more intense. A voice was constantly say- 
 ing, 'You will surely die.' 
 
 "I felt two spirits. One had complete control of me ex- 
 cept the will power, and caused me great alarm ; the other 
 was soothing and encouraging. 
 
 "The doctor now arrived and had me undressed and put 
 to bed, and I am told I went immediately to sleep. When 
 I awoke in the morning my mind was clear. There were no 
 effects such as nausea, headache or constipation. Later in 
 the day my pain returned, and I decided to bear it rather 
 than go through my former experience, but as the pain 
 became more intense, I decided to try the drug in a much 
 smaller dose, which banished my pain and transferred me to 
 a world of calm, quiet peace. 
 
 "From that time on I have been a slave to the drug, and 
 out of its influence I am as you saw me when I entered ; un- 
 der its influence I am as you see me now." 
 
 By this time the sun had wafted the clouds of night from 
 the sky, and bidding my strange caller farewell, he disap- 
 peared in the dawn of the early morn. 
 
 A TWIST UNTWISTED. 
 
 BY G. A. NORTON, M. D.. AURORA, ILL. 
 
 The following ghost story is the best I ever heard for 
 the use of the medical profession, bearing as it does on the 
 proper and scientific treatment of the diseased brain ■ that 
 suffered the illusion or delusion. The mentally afflicted 
 patient came to see his family doctor, complaining that he 
 was so worn out that he could hardly put one foot before 
 the other, and was constantly growing weaker, so came 
 to the doctor's office before he became too exhausted to 
 bear his bodily weight. The doctor inquired into the cause, 
 and the patient made the startling announcement that ever}^ 
 night a ghost came into his bed room and saddled and 
 bridled him, got astride his back and galloped him off into 
 
 29
 
 the country about ten miles. Then the ghost tied him to 
 a board fence and left him there till nearly morning, when 
 the ghost again galloped him back to the patient's bed 
 chamber, unsaddled and unbridled him and put' him to bed. 
 This had been going on for a number of months, and the 
 poor man could not stand such horse-treatment at the hands 
 of a horrid ghost any longer, so appealed to his good friend, 
 the family physician, for relief from such beastly abuse of 
 an inoffensive human. This was surely a new disease, 
 with no literature or experience on the part of any practi- 
 tioner, as to the correct treatment, and there was no time 
 to be lost if this patient was to be saved. The doctor 
 thought, as only doctors can when such a call for originality 
 was demanded, when he struck upon this unique and ef- 
 fectual plan of treatment. In reply to the patient's most 
 earnest question, ^'Doctor, can you stop this ghost from do- 
 ing this to me?" the wise physcian said, "Yes, if I can only 
 find the fence where the ghost hitches you." Then to find 
 the spot, the doctor told the patient to mark the spot that 
 night after he was hitched and the ghost had gone out of 
 sight into the timber beyond, by gnawing the top board 
 with his teeth as deeply as he had the time to do, and to 
 paw the ground also as much as possible This the sorry 
 and tired man agreed to do. The doctor anticipating the 
 result went out to the sick man's house early the next morn- 
 ing, and when his patient came down stairs the M. D. dis- 
 covered a decidedly silly expression upon the face of his 
 entirely cured patient. The doctor ran up the stairs to 
 the late-deluded man's bed room, when he found the 
 dreamer had gnawed the head-board of the bed nearly 
 through, and had pawed the bedding all away, down to the 
 springs. 
 
 Doctors, there is a deep lesson for us all in the plan of 
 this treatment, and not to learn it is to fail to be a great 
 physician. It embodies one of the great truths not dreamed 
 of in the philosophy of the merely mechanical doctor in 
 medicine. The mental twists of many of our patients must 
 be in some way untwisted or we fail, utterly fail, in our la- 
 bored attempt to cure them to their satisfaction. 
 
 30
 
 A LIVELY SPIRIT. 
 
 BY W. A. GRIFFIN, M. D., PORT HURON. MICH. 
 
 The following actually occurred : 
 
 Some years ago a man named S — , who had failed to 
 graduate at H — . was attending the Model School in St. 
 T — . He was very religiously inclined, and had a high 
 sense of his moral' and spiritual obligations. He fancied 
 himself so much admired that it required an effort on his 
 part to prevent the lovely class from bowing at his feet. 
 
 The Avriter was then about sixteen years of age, and al- 
 lowed himself to be drawn into a plot which taught Mr. 
 S — a valuable lesson. A letter was written and sent to 
 S — • expressing ardent admiration and begging an answer 
 and an interview. Our St. Anthony fell a victim and ac- 
 corded a meeting, naming the rendevouz. But cruel papa 
 and vigilant mamma delayed the meeting, until at last it 
 had to be secured at a risk or the prize lost. The meeting 
 took place about dusk. It was very affectionate from the 
 outset, and as the lady (who was only a young man in 
 lady's attire) had a long way to go. so the journey home- 
 ward soon began. Through the town they wended their 
 Avay. and the old saying, "the furthest way round is the 
 ■easiest way found," was suggested and followed, gaining 
 an audience, which was augmented at every turn. Through 
 the town and far past it, mile after mile, over hill and dale, 
 until a deep ravine was reached, which they crossed and 
 ascended on the other side, when the young lady as- 
 sured the gallant escort that she could surely go the rest 
 of the way without his kind attention, and Mr. S — began 
 his lonely walk, and 'the plot developed. Behind a huge 
 log hid a score of the villainous plotters. But one, a young 
 physician, had arrayed himself in the accepted garb of his 
 Satanic majesty, with horns, forked tail and all. This cos- 
 tume was covered with phosphorous, which gave a lumin- 
 ous appearance, and at his feet were scrolls of gunpowder.
 
 As S — drew nigh, a coal was touched to the powder, an 
 unearthly yell uttered, and the devil himself appeared to 
 be coming out of the raging fire, and proceeded in the di- 
 rection of S — . 
 
 Poor S — gave a frightened shriek, started in a run and 
 never looked back nor slackened his pace, as he himself said, 
 until he was in his bed room at the other end of town. 
 
 Next morning he insisted on asking the blessing at break- 
 fast, recounted his experience, and assured his hearers that 
 he lay on his back all night in mortal dread, expecting Satan 
 to make his appearance every instant. 
 
 THE GHOST OF POPLAR ORCHARD. 
 
 BY B. MOORE, M. D., ESPERANCE, N. Y. 
 
 Some years ago, while practicing medicine in a small vil- 
 lage situated on the bank of the Schoharie river, in the 
 state of New York, I was called to see a patient who lived 
 some four miles farther down the stream, in a village called 
 B — Ville. It was late in the month of October. The leaves 
 were mostly ofif the trees, and the weather was quite cool. 
 
 I reached B — Ville at 7 p. m., and found my patient, a 
 young man, suffering from typhoid fever, and after prescrib- 
 ing. I was untying my horse, when a young girl came 
 and told me that Mrs. H — , who had been visiting her 
 daughter for a few days, had sent her to ask if she might 
 ride home with me, and if I would wait half an hour for her. 
 I agreed to do so. 
 
 I walked over to the store, where I found quite a collec- 
 tion of farmers, and one or two stock buyers, sitting around 
 a fire. The conversation was a little out of the ordinary, 
 being nothing less than the Ghost of Poplar Orchard. I got 
 a cigar and sat down in the circle. Poplar Orchard is a 
 straggling sort of woods, about half a mile long, lying be- 
 tween the village of E — and B — Ville, and consisting of 
 white poplars, white birch, hemlock and beech trees. T 
 
 32
 
 had often heard of the ghost that was said to have been 
 seen there^ but had never seen any one w^ho had seen it. 
 The night before, a farmer, traveling from B — Ville to E — 
 had seen it, and as he was one of the number present, I 
 asked him wdiat there was in it. "Well," said he, "I had 
 heard of this ghost on several occasions, but had no faith 
 in it. I alw^ays said it was an old sheep, a white calf, some 
 old white horse or some such thing, but I'll swear now that 
 it is not. Just what it is, I don't know, but it is the figure 
 of a person all in white, standing with one hand raised. I 
 stopped and looked at it, and it was not more than a rod 
 from the road; and as soon as my horse started, the thing- 
 was gone, and I saw nothing more of it, and that's all I 
 know about it. I'm not timid, but I don't care to see the 
 thing again." 
 
 "It's strange," said the storekeeper, "that it's never seen 
 on dark nights, but always by moonlight ; and always at about 
 nine or ten o'clock. I've seen several who have seen it, 
 and they all tell the same story that Jake has told. It's 
 always in the same place, and always vanishes just as they 
 are passing it. Doctor," said he, ''you have been on that 
 road day and night as much as anyone about here : Have 
 you ever seen anything?" 
 
 I answered that I had never seen anything of the kind. 
 Some one suggested that my ideas of temperance were not, 
 perhaps, just in accordance with those who had seen the 
 ghost, but at this point, Mrs. H — entered the store, and 
 making some apology for keeping me waiting, we started. 
 The polite storekeeper came out, helped Mrs. H — into 
 the wagon, wished us a pleasant ride, and hoped that we 
 would see no spooks. I laughed at his last remark, and 
 answered that I expected no such good luck, and started. 
 Mrs. H — was a middle-aged Scotch woman, with a per- 
 fectly healthy mind and body. As we were going up the 
 hill, she asked what the storekeeper meant, in speaking 
 about "spooks"? I related what I had heard in the store, 
 and she simply remarked that she did not believe in such 
 nonsense, and the subject was dropped. 
 
 We soon reached the top of the hill, and about half a 
 mill farther, we came to a deep gorge, heavily wooded on 
 
 33
 
 either side with hemlocks ; beyond this, we came to a stretch 
 of cleared land, and then we entered the Poplar Orchard. 
 
 Mrs. H — was speaking of her daughter and son-in-law, 
 and of the extra good crop of apples, and seemed to have 
 forgotten the ghost, and I think I should also have for- 
 gotten it, but for the wailing note of a little screech owl 
 that came quivering from the hillside below ; but Mrs. H — 
 seemed not to hear this. We were now near the middle 
 of Poplar Orchard, when Mrs. H — suddenly stopped speak- 
 ing seized the hand with which I was driving, and, pointing 
 right across my face, said: "Look! Look!" I followed the 
 direction indicated, and there stood a figure draped in daz- 
 zling white. The draw on the lines as Mrs. H — seized my 
 hand caused the horses to stop. The figure stood perfectly 
 still with one hand raised. I could see the dark eyes and 
 the mouth, but could not make out the features. 
 
 How long we stood there, I cannot tell ; about two min- 
 utes, I should think. I could feel Mrs. H — trembling vio- 
 lently, and as for myself, I should be ashamed to say that 
 I was afraid, but I had an indescribable feeling, and some- 
 thing decidedly like a chill went down my back. The horse 
 had shown no fear, but now began to paw impatiently, 
 and started, and the figure almost instantly disappeared. 
 
 I looked back, but could see nothing of the figure. 
 
 We rode on in silence for some distance, when Mrs. H — 
 asked, "Doctor, what was it?" I answered, of course, that 
 I did not know ; but told her that I meant to find out, and 
 cautioned her to say nothing about the matter, lest we be 
 subject to ridicule. She promised to say nothing, and we 
 rode on home. 
 
 My experience made a deeper impression on my mind 
 than I had thought any such thing ever could. T had really 
 seen it and did not have to take any one's word. 
 
 Just outside of the village lived a man named Montanye. 
 He was a great fox hunter, and from his general appear- 
 ance, I thought him to be a most fearless fellow. I had 
 seen him through an attack of peritonitis once, and he had 
 always been a great friend of mine. I sent word to him next 
 day that I would like to see him at my ofifice, and about 
 noon he came in, looking as lazy and good natured as ever, 
 
 34-
 
 and helped himself to a chair, filled his pipe and said, "Well, 
 Doc, what is it that you. want?" "I want you to go with me 
 to B — Ville." "Want me for consultation, Doc?" he asked, 
 laughingly. "Yes," I answered, "I have a case that I don't 
 quite understand, and want you to help me. I'll tell you 
 about it on the way down. Will you go?" "Yes." he an- 
 swered. 
 
 I called a little after six, at his house, found him waiting, 
 and we started. On the way I related my experience. He 
 looked at me, and said, "Well, Doc, it's awful stuff. I've 
 tried it several times. After drinking it. a man can see most 
 anything." 
 
 We reached B — Ville at about seven o'clock, and having 
 attended to my patient, we started home, about nine o'clock. 
 We had passed the dark hemlock gorge, the cleared space 
 beyond, and now we drew near the Poplar Orchard, where 
 I had seen the figure. As we drew near the spot. I was 
 straining my sight to see the spectre of the previous night. 
 The barking of a fox on the hill on our right had attracted 
 Frank's attention, and he was saying, "Yes, you old vixen, 
 if the weather holds good I'll be down here tomorrow and 
 give you a lively run for your pelt." Frank had hardly ut- 
 tered the above words, when I saw the same white figure 
 standing under the hemlock, one hand raised and the eyes 
 and mouth showing quite distinctly. I stopped the horse 
 and nudged Frank and pointed toward the figure. "For 
 God's sake, Doc.'^ said he, "what can it be?" I did not 
 answer. 
 
 We sat still. The figure stood perfectly still, its outlines 
 distinctly showing against the small, dark hemlocks beyond 
 it. We remained in silence for some minutes, then I whis- 
 pered to Frank to take the lines. 
 
 . "For God's sake," said he, "don't get out of the wagon!" 
 "Take the lines ! take the lines !" I answered. "I'm not 
 going to get out !" He took the lines, and I took out my 
 handkerchief, tore off a strip, and leaning out of the wagon, 
 got hold of a bush, and tied the piece to it. "Drive on." I 
 whispered. The horse started and the figure vanished. 
 
 A\'e rode on in silence for some way. when Frank said. 
 
 35
 
 "I've hunted foxes by day. and 'coons by night, and I never 
 before saw any such thing as that !" 
 
 The next day we made the trip again and stopped at the 
 spot where the piece of handkerchief still hung on the bush, 
 and looked carefully from the wagon, but could see no sign 
 of our ghost. So we tied our horse, got out and looked the 
 ground all over carefully,' but found nothing but the small 
 hemlocks and white birches and beech trees. After about 
 half an hour of fruitless hunting, Frank had returned to 
 the wagon and climbed up into it, while I was still hunt- 
 ing. All at once I heard Frank calling, "Come here." I 
 returned to the wagon. "Climb up here ; Fve found him !" 
 I got into the wagon and he pointed to the bole of a white 
 birch tree standing just beyond the hemlock. It was so 
 shaded by the smaller hemlock that it had the exact form 
 of a person, the dark spots in the bole, marking the site of 
 former branches, made the eyes and the mouth, while a 
 broken limb standing out from the trunk made the raised 
 arm, and an opening in the branches let the moonlight shine 
 directly upon that side of the birch, giving it a very white 
 appearance. As soon as we started the whole thing was 
 changed by the intervention of some small trees. And the 
 Ghost of Poplar Orchard, the only ghost I have ever seen,, 
 was fulh' explained. 
 
 MY OWN GHOST. 
 
 BY F. C. ECKELMAN, M. D., ELKHART, IND. 
 
 In 1859 I '^^'^s in the dissecting room of the Pennsylvania 
 iMedical College, Philadelphia (now extinct) all alone, up 
 about seven stories. I had on my dissecting gown, as stu- 
 dents then wore. 
 
 In the room there were about eighteen or twenty-five 
 cadavers in the dififernt stages of dissecting. The reason 
 I was alone in the room on this particular evening was that 
 the rest of the class had gone to the theater to see a partic- 
 
 36
 
 iilar play. I being very poor did not think I could afford 
 to go, so thought I would dissect a while and then go to 
 my room. 
 
 After I had done so for some time I imagined I heard 
 peculiar noises. From where the noises came I could form 
 no idea, so I got ready for a tour of inspection. 
 
 I knew of the last ''subjects" that came into the dis- 
 secting room and went and uncovered these to see whether 
 any had come to life. Perhaps I uncovered six or more ; 
 by this time the noises became thicker, faster and plainer, 
 to my mind. Then, of course, I got lonesome, and wished 
 I were elsewhere than among the cadavers, and concluded 
 I had better get down stairs and out onto the sidewalk be- 
 fore the ghosts could kidnap me. so I must get on my 
 coats and leave the dissecting gown on the hook as was 
 my practice. 
 
 By that time my nerves were well worked up ; so I backed 
 up to the wash-stand (of course, I could not turn my back 
 to so many dead ones for fear), and washed my hands the 
 best I could, then backed up to where my coats were, put 
 off the gown, and put on my coats ; then began to back out 
 of the dissecting room to get down stairs, at the same time 
 trying to eye each and every one of the cadavers, for by 
 this time I thought that each one was after me for sure. 
 Outside the dissecting room I still backed down the stairs 
 and when perhaps half way down and still backing and look- 
 ing up to see w^hether the ghosts were coming after me in 
 some way, a reflected light threw my own shadow against 
 the wall, which I saw; and then I made all the noise an 
 Indian could. • 
 
 When I reached the sidewalk I had to explain my ex- 
 perience with my first ghost to the policeman, who thought 
 I was scared enough without being arrested. 
 
 37
 
 A FEMALE GHOST. 
 
 BY W. E. H. MORSE, ALGONA, IOWA. 
 
 It was the latter part of October. The weather was fine 
 and bracing, the frost had touched the leaves with crimson 
 and g'old, making the landscape beautiful. I had- been at- 
 tending a case of typhoid fever some seven miles from 
 town, and, on the night of my story, I had to make several 
 calls in the vicinity of my typhoid fever patient. It was 
 about midnight when I finally turned my team toward 
 home. The night was beautiful, the sky clear, and the 
 moon, slowly sinking in the western sky, was shedding a 
 soft light over the landscape, making it nearly as light as 
 day. I got into my buggy, drew the robes around me, and 
 started for home. My team was trustworthy, and I felt per- 
 fectly safe in giving them the lines, settling back in the seat, 
 and taking a doze, knowing that they would take me home. 
 
 The wind was blowing gently in my face, and I was soon 
 sound asleep. I had just passed a little country cemetery, 
 Avhcre several of my patients were peacefully sleeping, when 
 my team stopped with a snort, and I suddenly awoke, 
 straightened up in my seat, and looked around to see what 
 was the matter; and there, coming down the road toward 
 nic, a few rods in front of my team, was a woman dressed 
 all in white. Her dress or robe, which seemed to be of a 
 thin gauze material, was streaming out in the wind, as was 
 also her hair, which was white, or at least very light. She 
 had nothing on her head, and as the moon had now set and 
 a haziness spread over the sky, I could not see her features. 
 She came quietly down the road, and when within a rod 
 of the horses' heads, she turned out of the road and passed 
 me on the left, keeping well out and turning her face away 
 from me, so I could not see it. The team shied some, but 
 I easily controlled them and kept watch of my lady in white. 
 After she had gone about a rod past me, she turned back 
 into the road, went quietly on unt'l she reached the little 
 
 3S
 
 cemetery spoken of, which was probably fifteen or twenty 
 rods away. There she seemed to sit or crouch down by 
 the fence and beckoned to me. Who or what could this 
 woman be? Here it was past midnight, with frost cover- 
 ing everything, a mile to the nearest house, and she out 
 here in this lonely spot clad only in her night apparel. 
 
 And why was she beckoning to nie? Clearly it was the 
 spirit of one of my patients, lying there in the cemtery, that 
 was beckoning to me to come. What! to the cemetery? 
 I admit that I felt a little chilly, but then the night was 
 frosty. What could she want of me? Would it not be wiser 
 to mind my own business and drive home than to stop and 
 interview a ghostly apparition at that unseasonable- time 
 and place? Still, if I should go home without finding out 
 what it was I should always be sure I had seen a ghost. 
 I drove my team up' to the fence, tied it and slowly walked 
 toward the cemetery. There she was sitting as placidly as 
 ever, with her dress and long hair streaming in the wind, 
 and ever and anon beckoning to me. When I arrived within 
 four or five rods, I said, "What's wanted?" But instead of 
 a reply she waved her hand and moved back a few feet. 
 This looked very suspicious to me, and I stopped to think 
 the matter over. I had seen death in various forms and had 
 also seen cemeteries at night, but I had never seen anything 
 like this before. I had nothing to defend myself with, and if 
 it were a supernatural being, it would be of no use if I had. 
 so I made a few steps forward and said, "Is there anything 
 I can do for you? Are you in distress?" Still no answer. 
 I felt decidedly like turning around and going home, but 
 my curiosity was so great I finally screwed my courage to 
 the sticking point and began to approach the white 
 specter. My hair felt a little peculiar and I thought my 
 hat raised up a little, but it was undoubtedly the wind. I 
 walked slowly up till I was within about three steps of her, 
 when the flowing hair and gown disappeared, the female 
 shrank down, and I beheld a nespaper caught on the fence 
 and one corner of it fluttering in the wind. I heaved a sigh 
 of relief, went back to my buggy, and drove home with the 
 satisfaction of knowing that it only takes imagination to 
 make a ghost. 
 
 39
 
 MY GREATEST FRIGHT. 
 
 BY W. T. CLARK, M. D., KINKLER. TEXAS. 
 
 I think it was in the year 1858 while Hving in East Texas, 
 I was called seven miles from home late one evening to see 
 a patient, and did not get ready to return home before about 
 one o'clock at night. The country was sparsely settled at 
 that time, there being no dwellings between there and my 
 house. The night was very dark and cold. My road led 
 me by an old log church house, with a graveyard, near the 
 road. I was on horseback (in those days we cpuld not af- 
 ford a buggy). I was riding in a fast walk, with my cap 
 pulled down over my ears, and was in a deep study. When 
 passing the graveyard my attention was thrillingly arrested 
 by hearing a mumbling human voice, accompanied by the 
 noise as if some one were striking the palings of a grave 
 with a stick, immediately beside the road. My horse stop- 
 ped with fright and stood perfectly still, in spite of my in- 
 tense endeavor to make him move on, with the unearthly 
 noise approaching me slowly, the sweat stood in large, cold 
 drops on my face, and my whole body was almost paralyzed, 
 when I aroused myself. I was still standing in the road 
 and could not or would not urge m}^ horse to move. I had 
 my pistol drawn and pointed at what I thought was a 
 woman (or at least a woman's attire), trying my utmost 
 to pull the trigger, but was unable to do so. The object 
 was still approaching. I tried to speak, but could not. I 
 tried to scream, but could not utter a sound, and all the 
 time the ghost was getting very close to my horse, which 
 seemed paralyzed equally with myself. Still holding my 
 pistol on the object and trying, as I thought, to shoot, 
 there I remained as a frozen statue, helpless. I suppose 
 a revulsion of feeling took place, anrl I found myself face 
 to face with a crazy old woman of the neighborhood, who 
 bad wandered away from home and had gone into the grave- 
 yard at that late hour of the night. I don't know how I 
 
 40
 
 left there nor how I got my horse to move, but I found my- 
 self at home, my clothing all wet with perspiration as if I 
 had been immersed in a pool of water, with my hair gray 
 the next morning. 
 
 A SAD STORY. 
 
 BY J. B. CUMMINS. M. D.. CUYER CREEK, TEXAS. 
 
 Among the lofty hills and rugged valleys of Tennessee 
 is a nice little village called Snow Creek, The village was 
 so named because of the mountain stream that flows thereby. 
 In earlier days when this valley was covered by tall ash 
 and beech trees, the winter snow was protected from the 
 spring sun by this tall timber, so that it remained upon the 
 ground in this valley long after it was all gone elsewhere, 
 hence the name of the creek and the village. 
 
 In that little village during antibellum days a physician 
 by the name of Hawthorn settled. By the year 1882 he 
 had raised a large family. During the spring months of this 
 year Dr. Hawthorn had for a patient the daughter of a poor 
 widow lady, the girl aged about 16 or 17 years, had a strange 
 and mysterious malady, and a condition not well understood 
 by the doctors. 
 
 Day after day they visited the chamber of the poor sick 
 girl. Beautiful when well, she became pale and interesting. 
 Each succeeding week found her sinking, each succeeding 
 week found the doctor's hope of her recovery sinking. 
 
 As the damp, depressing season advanced the patient 
 gradually faded away. The old country church yard, two 
 miles away among the primitive beech and elm trees, was 
 selected as her burial place. The funeral services were sad 
 to the poor, lonely widow, sad for the physicians, because 
 they had lost a patient so youthful and promising, sad to the 
 girls of the village, because they had lost a favorite friend, 
 sad to the doctor's son for reasons easily inferred. 
 
 After the funeral services were over this young man in 
 
 * 
 
 41
 
 his loneliness wandered oft' to a neighboring village. By 
 night he was returning home when a threatening storm 
 caused him to stop for shelter in the old country church, 
 the same where the funeral services were held a few hours 
 before. 
 
 He thought he was in the darkness all alone, he walked 
 lightly up and down the aisle thinking of the untimely 
 demise of his favorite friend, when a bright flash of light- 
 ening disclosed the form of the deceased girl upon a seat 
 near by. Fright and surprise impelled him to stand and 
 look through the darkness to the place of the strange scene. 
 While thus doubting what had passed before his eyes, an- 
 other flash of lightening confirmed his first belief. Really, 
 there was the dead girl in her grave clothes. 
 
 He sprang towards the door, but was caught by strong 
 arms from each side. Fright overcame him, as it would 
 any one else. He sank to the floor. He knew not how long 
 he lay, but the rain was falling in his face when he awoke, 
 still carried by the four strong arms. 
 
 He was placed in his buggy, and upon pain of death 
 was strictly charged never to tell of this night's adventure 
 and what he had seen. 
 
 Another strange case now confronted Dr. Hawthorne, his 
 son's nervous system was thoroughly shattered. The cause 
 could not be found out. He would tell nothing. Finally 
 it became the painful duty of the father to tell the son that 
 death was inevitable. Again he pleaded with the son to tell 
 the cause of his illness. The young man being assured by 
 his father that he must die, disclosed to his father the hap- 
 penings of that night, told how he fainted when the strong 
 arms caught him, that he supposed them to be dead people 
 who detained him, and that the medical students had 
 threatened his life after he aroused from the night's swoon, 
 if he told of their night's work. 
 
 The author would like to add that most states and terri- 
 tories have made arrangements to furnish medical schools 
 all dissecting material required, so that in this day and time 
 medical students do not have to rob graves for scientific pur- 
 poses. 
 
 42
 
 A FOOLISH DEED. 
 
 BY T. R. MASON, M. D., SUGAR GROVE, O. 
 
 In October, 1890, about 2 o'clock in the night, as I was 
 returning from a four-mile trip through the rain, carrying 
 my lantern in one hand and driving with the other, my horse 
 trotting along leisurely, all at once I heard something sound 
 like a man in great distress. Just at that point I was ap- 
 proaching near a cemetery. It did not frighten me in the 
 least, still the voice, and surely it was in the graveyard. 
 When I was opposite the cemetery I stopped, held up my 
 lantern to see if I could see any one. The voice then seemed 
 as though it was up on the hill where there were some rocks, 
 and oh, what a pitiful noise ! I then went farther and stop- 
 ped; then it seemed to be in the graveyard. I thought, 
 "I will go on to the home only a few hundred feet and would 
 then hitch and get the man there to go up on the hill with 
 me," as was the custom for people living beyond the hill to 
 pass over it in going home, or in coming to town ; but by that 
 time the noise had stopped and I concluded if any one had 
 fallen over the rocks, he was dead anyway, as he had quit 
 his hollowing. Well, such a noise I never heard before or 
 since ! No, I was not frightened, but thought some one was 
 hurt. About five years after this happened, the fellow gave 
 it away: he was in the graveyard, saw me coming and tried 
 to scare me. 
 
 WAS IT A GHOST? 
 
 BY J. D. MINARI), M. D.. iMLAY CITY, MICH. 
 
 I received my early spiritual education from Christian par- 
 ents who were not very superstitious in their teaching and 
 I was skeptical in the belief of phantoms. All this did not, 
 
 43
 
 however, prevent me from hearing ghost stories which made 
 some impression on my mind; and the following circum- 
 stance was the means of nearly shaking down the whole 
 foundation. 
 
 This was in the summer of sixty-seven, after I had re- 
 turned from my college life and settled in a little country 
 town to practice medicine. My sleeping apartment was 
 quite a large room over my office and my bed was located 
 in the southeast corner with an open window near the foot 
 of the bed. In the northwest corner stood a table and upon 
 this I had laid the bones of a human skeleton I had brought 
 with me from Ann Arbor. 
 
 One night after I had been sleeping quietly for some 
 hours, I was aroused by hearing a thumping sound in the 
 opposite end of my room. I listened and found that it was 
 produced by the bones moving about on the table. Horri- 
 fied as I was, I lifted my head from the pillow, and rested 
 on my elbow and fixed my eyes in the direction from whence 
 I heard the noise, and there, moving slowly over the table 
 I could see a ghastly white figure ! It would move some- 
 times without making any noise, and then again the dry 
 bones would knock together and thump on the table. How 
 the "cold chills" ran up my back ! If that is not a ghost, 
 what on earth is it? I will try and find out. So, in as 
 calm a voice as I could command, I called out, "Who are 
 you and what do you want?" The white figure raised itself 
 to its utmost height, sprang from the table and came straight 
 for me, then passed the foot of my bed and out the window. 
 It was the big white cat. 
 
 A HEADLESS MAN. 
 
 P.Y W. M. WHEELER, M. D., OKAY SUMMIT, MO. 
 
 One starlit night, while returning home from a ■ prof es- 
 sional call, I had occasion to pass through a narrow defile 
 just wide enough for a wagon to drive through, there being 
 a. high bluff of limestone on one side of the road and a wide 
 
 44
 
 deep creek on the other. Myself and horse both tired, I 
 was jogging along at a leisurely gait, my mind occupied by 
 the various questions that had confronted me during the 
 day, when suddenly my horse reared and wheeled around 
 and with a snort of terror started back in the other direction 
 at breakneck speed, from which I succeeded in checking 
 him only after he had run several rods. 
 
 Long experience and intimate association with horses has 
 taught me to repose much confidence in my mount, es- 
 pecially when it is too dark to see well myself. So, turn- 
 ing about, I proceeded in the direction of the defile again 
 cautiously, because my curiosity and suspicion was aroused; 
 slowly, because it required the utmost persuasion to in- 
 duce my horse to go forward at all. Looking ahead I saw 
 standing bolt upright directly in the road and at its nar- 
 rowest point, what appeared to be the headless body of 
 a man with arms stretched outward and upward, and 
 dressed in spotless white. I had always been very skep- 
 tical regarding all ghost stories, but must confess that at 
 sight of this uncanny thing, strange and unpleasant shivers 
 began chasing up my spinal column, literally causing my 
 hair to stand on end as I recalled the vague stories I had 
 heard of a man having been murdered in this vicinity years 
 before. There the thing stood as still as a statue, at twelve 
 o'clock at night, barring the way as effectually as a stone 
 wall, as my horse persistently refused to take another step 
 forward, and there was no way of going around. Not know- 
 ing what else to do, I dismounted, took the rein over my 
 arm and started to walk and lead my horse in the direction 
 of the monster. Here again my horse refused to advance 
 a step, all the time evincing the most intense fright. Be- 
 coming vexed, I hitched my horse to a convenient sapling, 
 armed myself with a heavy club, and swearing I would not 
 be bluffed by all the headless ghosts outside of a graveyard, 
 I advanced, but I must confess as I drew nearer and the 
 thing appeared to grow more and more like a headless body 
 wrapped in a bedsheet. I felt rriy courage rapidly deserting 
 me ; and just as I was about to retreat to my horse the thing 
 moved slowly and quietly out to the side of the road and 
 walked past me, proving to be an old white cow with long 
 
 45
 
 spreading horns. Coming around the point of the bluff, 
 she suddenly saw myself and horse approaching from the 
 other direction, had stopped, raised her head in surprise, and 
 had, no doubt, been as much interested in the peculiar ma- 
 neuvers of myself and horse, as we had been in hers. 
 
 MY DELUSION. 
 
 BY U. N. MELLETTE, M. D., DELAND, FLORIDA. 
 
 Riding late in a wearisome doze, 
 
 Up before my face a ghost arose ; 
 
 ''My hair followed suit and rose on end, 
 
 With no one near me — none to defend." 
 
 But one keen glance through the moon's pale charms, 
 
 Showed button-ball tree with milk-white arms; 
 
 AVith arms outspreading and leaning o'er, 
 
 Simply that and nothing more. 
 
 AN ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. 
 
 BY F. E. SIESS, M. D., LINECUM, LA. 
 
 Some years ago, two men came in the 'night for me to 
 go and see a patient who lives eight miles away. We left 
 my office at about 12 o'clock on a dark cold night, with a 
 drizzling rain. About one mile from' town stands an old 
 cemetery which has been the burying ground for a radius of 
 twenty miles, since before the war. Nearly every old set- 
 tler has a ghost story to tell, or some unaccountable sight 
 and noise, which he has seen or heard while passing this 
 spot. Sudden illuminations and all the dead dressed in float- 
 ing white garments are "reliably" reported to have been 
 seen by parties who, according to their statements, are not 
 believers in ghosts and not at all superstitious. 
 
 46
 
 On the south side of this cemetery runs the public road, 
 which is somewhat of a lane at that place, formed by the 
 fence of a plantation on one side, and the cemetery on the 
 other. All three of us were horseback and riding at a rapid 
 gait. On arriving at this lane, our horses suddenly became 
 alarmed, whirled and plunged forward, snorting, rearing and 
 leaping. Before we could recover the reins, our horses had 
 traveled a considerable distance. We became separated dur- 
 ing this excitement, but finally brought our horses together, 
 they still trembling with fright and refusing to be urged 
 towards this lane. None of us could imiagine the cause of 
 such a violent alarm on the part of our horses, although we 
 knew full well that they would not all three together become 
 so suddenly frightened without grave cause. It being so 
 dark we saw nothing but the glimmer and somber aspect of 
 the largest tombstone which stood in the cemetery. I re- 
 marked to my companions that this surely was a favorable 
 time and place for a ghost. At this juncture, my compan- 
 ions proposed that we go by the way of the north side of 
 the cemetery. I told them it was absolutely necessary to 
 learn the cause, as I felt quite certain that my horse who 
 was a gentle anim,al and had traveled at all liours of the 
 night and in all kinds of places, would not become unman- 
 ageable from fright without having seen something; and if 
 it were a ghost, I for one wanted to see it, as I had never 
 seen one. We left our horses behind and, revolver in hand, 
 I proceeded to the spot, followed by my companions. On 
 arriving near this lane, we stopped and peered around. Saw 
 nothing, but heard the most unearthly groan which, taken 
 at that hour and place, was enough to unnerve the bravest 
 of mortals. My hair stood on ends, and chills cre])t over 
 me ! Yet I realized the necessity of learning what it was ; 
 otherwise it would surely be reported that we also had seen 
 a ghost. "Come on !" I shouted to my companions, and pro- 
 ceeded for about lOO feet. The groans continuing at reg- 
 ular intervals, and apparently growing louder and louder, 
 as we approached I stopped again. This time the noise 
 seemed to be at my very feet ! Yet I could see nothing 
 ahead. At this juncture one of my companions remarked, 
 "Doctor, no use to go any further; you won't see anything, 
 
 47
 
 because this noise is now under the ground." I remarked 
 that it was necessar}^ that we satisfy ourselves. "Oh, we 
 are perfectly satisfied ; so much so that we are perfectly 
 willing to be induced to return to the horses," rejoined the 
 other in a tremulous tone. On advancing a little further 
 I discovered the outline of a dark object in the center of the 
 road about ten feet from me. It appeared to me to be about 
 twelve feet in length and about three feet high. I advanced 
 nearer; the groans seemed to become more furious, and more 
 regular. I approached nearer and nearer with revolver in 
 hand, pointing directly at the object. When I reached the 
 side of this object, I called to my companions to light a 
 match, while I held the revolver in readiness ; and I was 
 horrified to find out they had both deserted me; but still did 
 not lose courage. With one hand I struck a match, while 
 with the other I held mjy revolver in readiness for quick 
 action. Imagine my surprise and joy on finding this object 
 to be flesh and bones and whisky. It was a man. 
 
 The man had taken too much whisky, fell from his horse 
 and was too drunk to rise, so he did the next best thing — 
 went to sleep— in which condition we found him; and a little 
 later we found his horse. The man was nearly frozen to 
 death. In fact, his groans were those of dying.. 
 
 THE HAUNTED CABIN. 
 
 BY C. C. LANGSDORF, M. D., NEW YORK CITY. 
 
 About fifteen years ago a party of four, myself included, 
 started from Tacoma, Wash., for Carbon Hill, in the same 
 state, on a hunting expedition. We arrived there late in 
 the afternoon, had our meals, and were sitting in the re- 
 ception room telling stories. A few natives joined in and 
 the conversation led to ghosts and ghost stories of all kinds> 
 One of the natives spoke up and told us of a cabin in the 
 moimtains about ten miles away, which had the reputation 
 of being haunted. Furtherrn'ore, he knew nothing about 
 
 4S
 
 the cabin. We became interested, and on making further 
 inquiries that evening- heard that some time ago, a miser 
 who followed prospecting for a living, had built the cabin, 
 and lived there a number of years alone. This was all anyone 
 could tell us. Being a mining country, prospectors would 
 come and go, and not make friends with anyone. As most 
 prospectors live alone, there was nothing in that which 
 would lead to ghosts. Resolved to learn more the next 
 morning, we retired for the night. 
 
 The next morning we started for the cabin ; it being a 
 very rough country, we didn't reach the cabin before sun- 
 down. Fortune favored us, for we shot some game on the 
 way there ; a fire was started and the game cooked. After 
 disposing of a good supper an investigation was in order. 
 Inspection of the cabin showed nothing unusual. A few 
 bunks in which the miser evidently slept, some old pans, 
 etc., but nothing in the line of ghosts. After undoing our 
 knapsacks, we sat down to tell a few stories ; where in the 
 midst of one, we were disturbed by what we thought were 
 footsteps outside ; but on going out of doors, nothing was 
 to be seen there. Someone said he saw something move, 
 but the rest thought it was his imagination. Later on, a 
 noise was heard that seemed to emanate from the floor in 
 the farther corner of the cabin. It was thought that some 
 animal might have his hiding place under the cabin, and 
 hence the noise. After a short time it was repeated. This 
 time it sounded as though someone was mumbling. Sleep 
 that night was not as sound as it miight have been. We re- 
 solved next morning to ascertain the cause of the noise we 
 heard during the night, and we tore up the flooring and 
 found a hole large enough to allow a man's body to pass 
 through. A rope was obtained, and a stone tied to the end 
 and it was thrown into the hole; but as the rope was too 
 short, it was pulled up again. Someone suggested dropping 
 a charge of powder and listening for the explosion. By this 
 means he thought he could tell the depth. A few cartridges 
 were emptied into a can. then bound with pieces of blanket 
 and rope, a fuse attached, and then dropped into the hole. 
 A few moments after we heard the explosion, not alone from 
 the hole, but from the gulch below. It was first thought 
 
 49
 
 to be an echo, but in a few moments after, two mountain 
 lions were running down the gulch. We took our guns and 
 followed in pursuit. On our way back, we found an en- 
 trance to an old worked-out mine. This explained what we 
 thought was the echo. After going into the mine, we found 
 that the hole above communicated with the mine, and was 
 nothing more than an air shaft. It was evident that the 
 miser built the cabin above the air shaft for safety. In 
 case anyone wanted to steal his money, he would drop it into 
 the mine below and regain it some other time. The air 
 shaft also explains the ghost-like noise. The noise we heard 
 that night was made by the lions in the mine, because the 
 next dav we shot them and the noises were ended. 
 
 A GHOST STORY. 
 
 BY H. D. MOORE. M. P.. XKW LEXIXOTOX. PA. 
 
 As the humorous lecturer remarks. "Let us say a few 
 words before we begin." I was born and brouglit up in the 
 neighborhood in which I now reside, and have been prac- 
 ticing medicine for the last twenty-eight years. In my boy- 
 hood days I had an unele who used to spend many of his 
 winter evenings at our house, and would tell us the most 
 hair-raising and blood-curdling "spook" and ghost stories 
 imaginable. He did not tell those stories as mere stories, 
 but as actual truths. There was not a* dark and lonely spot 
 on any of the roads or near a tumble-down house (all these 
 old deserted houses were built of logs) that did not harbor 
 a spook or ghost. 
 
 If this uncle did not himself have some terrible experience 
 with them, some of his neighbors did. Until I was fifteen 
 years of age, all the gold in the world would not have been 
 sufficient to pay me to pass these places, or even a grave- 
 yard after dark. I firmly believed in ghosts, for nothing had 
 been neglected in my education along that line. 
 
 Had my father been living (he died when I was five years 
 old) he would have taught me otherwise, but I think my 
 
 50
 
 mother believed in ghosts, or she would have taught us dif- 
 ferently. Whether she did or did not, she taught us that 
 the ghosts would not hurt good boys. After spending eight 
 years away from home, teaching school, attending literary 
 college and medical college, I returned to practice my pro- 
 fession. 
 
 I passed over all these "spooky" roads at all hours of 
 the night in all kinds of weather, and often stopped and 
 looked around wishing to see something uncanny. As years 
 passed by I forgot all about the ghosts. I feared nothing; 
 but the long rides in the mountains after night were not 
 made without a little nervousness, that a wildcat or ])anther 
 might drop down on me from an overhanging bough. 
 
 And an occasional squall from some animal or other would 
 send a peculiar sensation up and down my spine. 
 
 For the first ten or twelve years I traveled altogether on 
 horseback, and many of my visits were to families living on 
 the mountain. One of my routes was ten or eleven miles 
 over the mountain and in eight of those miles there was but 
 one house. Some of this road ran by the side of mountain 
 streams with laurel and rhododendron on each side and the 
 tops of the beech trees meeting overhead, so that on a cloudy 
 or rainy night the darkness was intense. 
 
 And now for the ghost. I was returning one starlight 
 night from one of these mountain trips. At the base of the 
 mountain the road crosses a stream by one of those old 
 covered frame bridges about lOO feet in length. The bridge 
 is weatherboarded, the roof shutting out all the light. All 
 around each end of the bridge there are large spreading oaks, 
 making the approaches to the bridge more dark after night. 
 Almost at the same moment my horse's front feet struck the 
 plank floor, something that sounded like a carriage struck 
 the other end and advanced toward me. My horse then 
 threw up his head and stopped. As the bridge was narrow 
 and so dark I couldn't see anything, I did not care to pass 
 a team in it, so I turned and rode back far enough (prob- 
 ably fifty feet) to make ample room for the team to pass. 
 
 I hadn't waited more than a few moments until the noise 
 ceased. I then wondered why the team had stopped in the 
 bridge. I waited and listened for a few moments, and then 
 
 51
 
 thought that possibly the team was going in the same di- 
 rection that I was, and had stopped in the bridge, and when 
 they heard my horse coming they had gone on. 
 
 But the road at the other end was stony and horses or 
 wheels would have made a noise. But everything was still 
 as death, save the monotonous murmur of the water. I 
 went back to the bridge and called out, "^'Get out of the 
 bridge and open the way," but got no answer. I then went 
 on and neither saw nor heard anything. At the other end 
 of the bridge the road runs through low marshy meadow 
 lands. The road is wide and bordered on eacli side by a 
 stake-and-rider fence. When I got about two hundred yards 
 away from the bridge I saw a white object in the meadow 
 on the opposite sid-e of the fence from, me, coming toward 
 me. My horse saw it before I did, for he threw up his 
 head and stopped. It moved slowly, and at first I thought 
 it was a cow, but when it got nearer I saw it was taller and 
 not so long as a cow. 
 
 After it passed me I rode up to the fence so that I could 
 get a better view, as I had only seen it through the spaces 
 in the staked fence. But it suddenly disappeared. I turned 
 my horse and rode rapidly back about fifty yards to sec if I 
 could get another view of it. But it had vanished. I looked 
 about to see if there might be any live stock in the meadow, 
 but could see none. This occurred about one o'clock at 
 night in the middle of summer. 
 
 I was puzzled to account for the mysterious noise in the 
 bridge and for the white object I had seen. T had never 
 before seen or heard anything that I could not account for. 
 I was determined to solve this. The next day I went back 
 to investigate. 
 
 I saw the man who owned the meadow and told him what 
 I had seen and heard. He said that there was no live stock 
 in the meadow, and further, he had no white ones on the 
 farm. But he offered a very satisfactory explanation : 
 
 He had a demlented wife, who occasionally left the house 
 in her night robe, and wandered about the place. At first 
 he used, to watch her in her wanderings, but as it made her 
 very angry when she found he watched her, he had allowed 
 her to go and come as she pleased. When she saw that I 
 
 52
 
 was watching her, and when I rode back to head her off, she 
 must have started off at right angles from the road, and 
 got behind a large maple tree, several of which stood some 
 rods from the fence. 
 
 We then went to the bridge and saw where a flock of 
 sheep had been lying in the bridge, and where they had gone 
 down the embankment and under the shadow of the trees. 
 And I am still looking for a real ghost. 
 
 THREE GHOSTS. 
 
 BY DR. L. MILLISON. FLAXDREAU, S. D. 
 
 Dear Doctor: Your want for a ghost story is quite a 
 novel affair. It reminds me of when I was a lad and in 
 Pennsylvania, the location I cannot give; but the facts are 
 that a ghost in the shape of a man was seen in a certain lo- 
 cality and it had frightened the entire community — in fact, 
 it was the talk for mliles and miles until finally one man 
 made a bet that there was no ghost nor anything that would 
 harm anyone. The time came to decide it, which was at 
 night ; and the two brave men went to the place of fright, 
 and soon heard a sound of approaching danger, and there 
 they saw the form of a man in white. Soon it began to rise 
 until it was seen from twenty to thirty feet in the air 
 and no visible means of ascent. It would be absurd to 
 say that the men were not frightened, for they were ; and yet 
 they wished to solve the mystery, so they sat down and re- 
 mained until morning, when to their surprise the ghost was 
 yet dangling among the treetops, and on investigation, they 
 found that it was only an imitation of a man with a rope at- 
 tached, and fastened to a treetop, and a man, or boy, was 
 near by who drew it up on the approach of footmen, and 
 any whom they wished to frighten. 
 
 This reminds me of a case where I was connected. I lived 
 in a house that was said to be haunted ; the facts are as 
 follows : A noise, like the sound of one in agony, was fre- 
 
 53
 
 quently heard in one room and mostly at night. I was 
 frightened at it on first hearing it, but, being a man and 
 fearing nothing, I decided to solve it. When the bedroom 
 door was open I heard it more plainly. I was certain that 
 no one was near. Then I placed my hand on the wall from 
 whence it came and I found it would subside. I soon found 
 a crevice in the wall, and the wind, when from the north, 
 came through the crack, and passing over a strip of wall 
 paper, produced the sound. I removed the bit of paper, and 
 my haunted house was a thing of the past. 
 
 Some thirty years ago, and in Jefferson county, Pa., was 
 a field where a man was seen every night and without a 
 head. The sight of it frightened everyone who attempted 
 to cross that field, so much that the people went one mile 
 out of their way in order to avoid it; until one night Mr. 
 John Hilderbrand was passing and, being tired, decided to 
 cut the road short by crossing this haunted field. He had 
 gone but a short distance, when lo and behold ! Before him 
 and not far away stood the dreaded ghost. Well, John was 
 a fighting man and feared neither man nor beast ; so on he 
 went, and the nearer he approached the ghost the more he 
 trembled ; but he would not turn aside. The ghost had its 
 arms extended as if in the act of grasping; but it had no 
 head. Mr. Hilderbrand, in relating it to me, said he thought 
 his time had come, and he closed his eyes, ran at it and 
 struck it ; but as soon as he struck, he fell ; and discovered 
 to his surprise that he had struck a stub of a tree with two 
 limbs near the top and about the height of a tall man. Mr. 
 H. had a badly bruised fist but he felt satisfied that there 
 was no such a thing as a ghost. 
 
 I have had similar experiences, and never yet have I found 
 anything to harm me or anyone. 
 
 54
 
 THE SPRINGLANDS GHOST. 
 
 BY BEX. II. BRODNOX, M. D., BRODNOX, LA. 
 
 When a boy of twelve years I had one evening turned 
 the cows out of the meadow and taken a little time to fish 
 at the river. This was in 1844 i^^ Connecticut. I was re- 
 minded by its getting pretty dark, that it was time to fol- 
 low the cows home. I started at a trot, and got about half 
 way over the road that ran through a springlands pasture, 
 when looking to my left about twenty-five or thirty feet over 
 the water, I saw what seemed to me to be a woman dressed 
 in pure white shining robes similar to the present lace wed- 
 ding styles, a veil floating from her head down to the water. 
 It seemed to turn partly around and back, as in dancing, 
 with a slow graceful motion. Of course "a ghost !" was the 
 word, and I only touched the high places on my race home. 
 Between fright and running with loss of breath, I could 
 not for some time tell my teacher, with whom I was living, 
 what was the matter. The old man remarked, "well, we will 
 see what it was in the morning." 
 
 So we started down with the cows to put them in the 
 meadow, and came to the place where I had seen the "vis- 
 ion." We waded out and found a large catfish putrefying; 
 the bubbles of the phosphoreted hydrogen still rising to the 
 surface. Here the old gentleman read me a lecture on chem- 
 istry, that "putrefaction produced this gas which, coming in 
 contact with the air, ignited, and a light phosphorescent 
 cloud was the result." It satisfied me;' but to this day 
 the beautiful, graceful, shining white figure is as distinct 
 as when I saw it fifty odd years ago. 
 
 55
 
 A FEW AUTHENTIC STORIES. 
 
 BY J. L. SHORT, M. D., OKLAHOMA CITY. OKLA. 
 
 A HAUNTED HOUSE. 
 
 In the year 1876, I was practicing medicine in Dyer coun- 
 ty, Tenn., and was boarding with a lady of the romantic and 
 superstitious variety. She delighted in reading novels, and 
 kept all the lonesome crowing chickens, and peculiar lowing 
 cows, she could get hold of. She had raised eight children, 
 and taught them to believe in ghosts, spooks, signs, tokens, 
 voices, and other curious things. I had not stopped at her 
 house long till she informed me that a certain room stand- 
 ing about 100 feet from her dwelling, which had been used 
 for a store, was haunted. The entire family was positive 
 that some mysterious spirit inhabited this building. George, 
 a grown son, had seen it bending over his bed in the form 
 of an angel; and Watch, the old. dog, had seen it at various 
 times, and had barked at it almost daily for nearly a year. 
 When she related all the particulars concerning George and 
 the angel, I enquired if he ever drank anything. She was 
 indignant at my question, and informed me that he never 
 drank anything when at town except water, and not much 
 of that ; and by watching him a few days, I saw things which 
 corroborated her statement ; because when George returned 
 from town he seemed exceedingly dry, and kept his baby 
 brother busy carrying him water. After hearing their blood- 
 curdling stories, I proposed that I be allowed to occupy the 
 haunted house and try to solve the mystery. This was 
 readily agreed to, and I invited George to share the large 
 room with me. He accepted, and two beds were arranged 
 therein, and we retired at ease. 
 
 THE ANGEL CAME. 
 
 Nothing strange occurred for a few days, but finally 
 George's angel came through the window, and with 
 
 56
 
 clasped hands, bent over him a moment, when George 
 said to it: "In the name of God, what do you want?" 
 Then the angel departed without speaking. George then 
 informed me what had transpired, and I at once began a 
 careful examination of his nervous system, and found that 
 he was laboring under an attack of delirium tremens, and 
 that these imps were caused by the large amount of intoxi- 
 cants which he drank at night. But they would probably 
 have had the same effect if taken in the davtime. 
 
 THE DOG'S GHOST. 
 
 The next thing to solve was the dog problem. Why 
 did old Watch bark so when in this room alone, and never 
 when any person was with him? I waited with this investi- 
 gation until Watch had occasion to again interview his 
 ghost, but did not have to wait long, because next day, 
 while sitting in the porch I saw him enter the room, and 
 all the growling and barking that I had ever heard was 
 nothing compared with the fuss that Watch made ! He 
 seemed to be fighting some monstrous enemy which he could 
 not conquer. He barked in different languages, and seemed 
 to be three or four dogs. I then stepped to the door, which 
 was only slightly ajar, opened it wide and walked in. Soon 
 as I entered. Watch ceased to bark, but seemed much Avor- 
 ried over the great battle that he had just participated in. 
 I then resumed my seat in the porch, to waft for further 
 developments. Soon Watch slipped his nose in between 
 the door and the casing, and passed in and seemed to again 
 attack his enemy. This time I slipped up carefully, peeped 
 in at the small opening in the door and saw Watch at his 
 work. He was back in a dark corner growling, barking, 
 frothing and snapping at what he took to be a very ugly 
 dog. It was his own image reflected by a large window- 
 pane, which sat on the floor in the corner, and the image 
 could onlv be seen well when the door was nearlv closed. 
 
 57
 
 A CURIOUS LIGHT. 
 
 When I was eighteen years old, my sister and I made a 
 trip on horseback to church, three miles east of our home. 
 When services were over, about 9 o'clock in the night, we 
 started home, and after going two miles, we noticed ahead of 
 us what seemed to be a lantern, and were pleased to know 
 that we were overtaking some friends who had a light, be- 
 cause it was a dark night. We rode a little faster, in order 
 to catch up; but our friend, or friends, seemed to travel as 
 fast as we did. Soon we came to where the road crooked 
 to the left, and greatly to our surprise, the lantern kept on 
 in a straight direction. I remarked that if that light is a 
 lantern, the person carrying it pays no attention to the road, 
 but goes straight on, regardless of brush. Soon we came to 
 a small stream, and instead of the light remaining near the 
 ground, it continued on a level ; we then agreed that it was 
 no lantern ; for in crossing the valley, it was fifty feet or more 
 above the surface. Then we suggested marsh lights, me 
 teors and everything of that nature we could think of. After 
 we had crossed the valley and were ascending the hill, the 
 light which had already frightened us considerably, seemed 
 to leave our road and settle down about a quarter of a mile 
 to our right. We stopped and gazed at it till we were both 
 positive that it had fallen, not to rise again; so I told my 
 sister, that if she would wait there, I would go to it and 
 ascertain what it was. She readily agreed, because she was 
 in reality much braver than myself. I rode rapidly toward 
 the light, and it grew brighter as I approached. Finally I 
 arrived at the mysterious object and found that it was a 
 burning stump. 
 
 THE DISSECTING ROOM. 
 
 Very few ghost stories come from the dissecting room, 
 for the reason that the living occupants thereof are stu- 
 
 58
 
 dents of science; and they are there for investigating, and 
 not for the purpose of deluding anybody else, nor. for being 
 deluded themselves. As a rule, the medical student is less 
 superstitious than any other ; and I have to confess that 
 some men in medical schools become skeptical. The knowl- 
 edge of anatomy, physiology and psychology leads some to 
 even doubt that man has a soul. I once received a very high 
 compliment from a minister of the Gospel on account of 
 my reply to a college professor who stated that he had made 
 the human body his study for thirty years, and had dis- 
 sected a large number of them,, and had never found in any 
 of them a trace of a soul, much less a soul itself; and there- 
 fore he did not believe that man had a soul. My reply was 
 as follows : "Professor, you have always looked in the 
 wrong place for the soul. If you want to find a living soul 
 you must look for it in a living subject ; because souls do 
 not hide around in dead bodies, but always depart from the 
 body at death, without leaving any traces therein. The only 
 way to locate a man's soul after the death of his body is 
 by reviewing his history, his character, his life. They are. 
 the traces that always point in the direction of his departed 
 soul." The wise professor then said : "I had never thought 
 about that. I guess you are right." 
 
 I beg pardon for departing from my subject. It is not 
 my purpose to treat of theology, but merely to relate a 
 little- ghost story. 
 
 In the winter of i884,while a student in a medical college, 
 one cold night when all the other students had left the build- 
 ing, I remained till eleven o'clock, as I was anxious to finish 
 my part. There were several cadavers stretched out on nar- 
 row tables, with white sheets over them, as it was customary 
 for each student to cover his subject with a sheet, and turn 
 his gas light out before leaving. All lights in the large 
 room had been turned out except the one that I was working 
 by. This gave the room a very lonesome appearance, as it 
 was on the third floor, and I had ^ long and dark stairway 
 to descend in case it should be necessary for me to depart 
 suddenly. But I was not in the least afraid, because I had 
 already practised medicine several years, and had learned 
 that it is not the dead men who do harm, but the living 
 
 59
 
 ones. But the extreme silence, and extreme odor also, in 
 that room, set me to thinking about ghosts ; and suddenly 
 it appeared to me that I saw the sheet on one of the cadavers 
 move a little. Then I thought, "How foolish of me to allow 
 myself to have such an imagination !" Just then the sheet 
 wiggled again, and I didn't do a thing but stand up and take 
 a straight gaze at it. Then I saw it plainer then ever and 
 was sure some living object was under the sheet. At first 
 it appeared to me that probably one of the students had been 
 foolish enough to place himself there to scare me ; then I 
 remembered a story that I had read, of a student who was 
 frightened from the dissecting room by a rat which had 
 gained access to a subject, and I walked to the table and 
 raised the sheet, and a little "college mouse" jumped out 
 and ran away. I never thought much more of the incident, 
 and never so much as told my room mate, partly, perhaps, 
 because I was afraid some of the boys might make a joke 
 of it and repeat it at my expense. While I was not fright- 
 ened in the least, that was my last night to remain alone in 
 a dissecting room. 
 
 In the case of the student and the rat, which I have just re- 
 ferred to, it is said that the student rushed for the door, and 
 seeing the rat jump out, offered to swear that the "stiff" 
 threw something at him as h,e made his escape, and actually 
 followed him to the door. 
 
 Possibly the story is true, but I have never met a physi- 
 cian, or medical student who was afraid of a dead bodv. 
 
 60
 
 MY ENCOUNTER WITH A LION. 
 
 The only really good 
 scare that I ever had dur- 
 ing my practice, occurred 
 in 1878, in Pulaski county, 
 Mo. It took place shortly 
 after a circus had passed 
 through there, and a lion 
 was said to have escaped, 
 and was roaming at large 
 in the hills of the Gascon- 
 ade river. , I was called 
 one dark night to see a patient who lived near the river about 
 six miles from the town where I had my shingle out. As 
 I returned, while passing through the "narroAV defiles of the 
 hill," I heard the footsteps of some beast coming down tht 
 steep hill toward me. My horse became frightened and 
 made an effort to run, and I would gladly have given the 
 reins, had I been sure of sta3ang with him, but I thought it 
 better to hold him in, than to be left alone to battle with 
 a huge lion. I held my hand above my eyes to shade them, 
 and caught a glimpse of a real lion coming toward me on his 
 hind feet, with both fore feet raised above his head ready 
 to sink his claws into my flesh ! I lost no time in adjusting 
 myself in the saddle, and slackened the reins, hoping that 
 my horse would do the rest ; and just at that moment the 
 beast uttered one of the fiercest growls that I had ever 
 heard; the first half of which was the roar of a lion, but the 
 last half developed into the squeaking voice of an old jenny 
 which was hunting for company. I survived the terrible 
 shock, but it has always been a mystery to me how that old 
 jenny made her ears appear so much like a lion's paws. 
 
 61
 
 THE HAUNTED SCHOOL HOUSE. 
 
 About the middle of the 
 nineteenth century there 
 were several school houses 
 in Missouri that were said 
 to be haunted. At that 
 time most of the schools 
 there were maintained by 
 private subscriptions. The 
 patrons subscribing- $i per 
 month to a teacher for each 
 child he expected to send. When enough had been subscribed 
 to justify the teacher in taking the school, the patrons would 
 set a day to meet and build a school house. On the morn- 
 ing for the task one or two men would arrive with a load of 
 boards that they had made out of an oak tree. These boards 
 were usually about six inches wide, and three feet long. 
 Another man would take a load of rough lime stone, and the 
 others would have an axe apiece. By noon they would have 
 the wall of the new building up, which consisted of logs that 
 they had cut down and hewn on both sides. The floor was 
 made of puncheons, which were made by splitting the trunks 
 of trees into halves and hewing the split side to a smooth 
 surface, and the seats were made in the same way. except 
 they had holes bored in them) and sticks driven therein for 
 legs. In those days it was an extra fine school house that had 
 a plank floor, plank seats, a glass window, or lime in its 
 cracks. The roof was not nailed on, except in the more 
 wealthy districts, but was held down by long poles that were 
 called 'Sveights". The writing desk was either a long plank, 
 or a puncheon resting against the wall on pins of wood driv- 
 en into the wall, and the window was made by sawing a log 
 out just over the desk. The fire place was made of rough 
 stones and mud. while the chimney was built of sticks of 
 wood and the cracks filled with mud like the cracks in the 
 
 62
 
 house. There are a few other little details that I could 
 describe, but they are similar to the above, and I need not 
 take time and space to mention them. Every thing con- 
 cerning the school tallied very much with the building and 
 the way in which it was supported. The method of teach- 
 ing was usually the "Blab" variety. That is, the pupils all 
 spelled and read out aloud while studying, which sounded 
 like a large collection of sheep, hogs, and geese all bleating, 
 squealing and hollowing at once. The school plays were 
 different then to what they are now. Baseball, football, etc., 
 had not been introduced into that country, but the boys 
 played bullpen, townball, cat, pepper, baste, etc ; while the 
 girls played rollyhole, riiilabright, pus-I-want-your corner 
 and other such things. The play ground for boys was on 
 a dift'erent side of the house from that of the girls, and it 
 was a disgrace for a boy to be found hanging around the 
 girl's play ground. 
 
 It was customary to build the school house in tlie center 
 of the district, regardless of water supply, which often made 
 it necessary to carry water a half mile or more, as no facili- 
 ties existed at that time for making cheap wells, as we have 
 now. In fact, the wealthier class even would not venture to 
 sink a well anywhere, until some old water witch had taken 
 his forked switch and located a good stream at the very 
 spot where the well was to be. It was in an institution of 
 this kind where the writer received his common school edu- 
 cation, which accounts for his common abik'ty. 
 
 But the school house where I attended was some better 
 than the average. Its cracks were pointed with lime, and it 
 had a glass window containing four panes 8xio inches, be- 
 sides the long window at the writing desk was filled with 
 glass the same size. It had to be up-to-date, because my 
 father, E. L. Short, and John L. West. Henry Brockman, 
 Paulen Gardner, Eelix Bond, David Jarrett, W. Ponder and 
 a few other old pioneers had large families and they were 
 interested in furnishing their girls and boys the best oppor- 
 tunity for an education. But we had to carry water from a 
 spring about half a mile away and we used a large amount of 
 it, because the very fact that it was scarce caused most of 
 the children to feel very dry. The spring was located under 
 
 63
 
 a bluff that was covered with heavy timber, and was nearly 
 a mile from any dwelling or farm, which made it a very 
 lonesome place. The height of the bluff and the peculiar 
 shape of the earth at that point, caused the sound waves to 
 rebound back from the bluff to the spring when any one 
 was speaking there, and this echo gave rise to the report 
 that "a voice" at the spring repeated every word spoken by 
 those visiting it. From that the story was exaggerated and 
 some of the pupils told that they had seen mysterious ob- 
 jects. Some saw a man without a head, and others saw a 
 dog standing on the small end of his tail with a human hand 
 in his mouth. While these stories were only manufactured 
 by a few funny boys and girls for their own amusement, 
 they had a bad effect in general, because many little child- 
 ren were afraid to go to the spring for a drink, and almost 
 suffered for want of water, and the superstitious class spread 
 these false reports throughout the entire community and ad- 
 vertised our beautiful school site in a very unfavorable 
 way. 
 
 To add to the misery of the little frightened children, our 
 teacher Avas an old fogy fellow who believed in dreams, 
 voices, ghosts, spooks and signs, himself. Certainly that 
 would be the character of a man who would teach a '"'loud 
 school", as he called it. He was old, and must have attend- 
 ed school, if at all, a way back in the eighteenth century. 
 He taught us that the earth was on a rock, not that it rested 
 on a stone, but that it rocked from east to west like a cradle. 
 He claimed that it rocked to the east in the day time and 
 back to the west in the night. It is not to be supposed that he 
 knew anything about antiseptics and asepsis, because such 
 words Avere not in use then, but I censure him for not pos- 
 sessing the ]~)roximal element to godliness — cleanliness. I 
 shall not try to repeat all of his astonishing practices, for 
 they are too numerous and ridiculous to describe here, but 
 will name three. When he came to my father's house to 
 stay all night, as it was the custom for teachers to visit 
 among the patrons, my dear old mother, who was an advo- 
 cate of "foot washing" when certain strangers came about, 
 offered him a bowl of warm water at bed time and asked if 
 he wished a nice foot bath, to which he replied, "No! no! it's 
 
 64
 
 not been a month yet since I washed my feet good and 
 put on new socks." Next morning father conducted him 
 to our spring where we had a nice pool of running water 
 in which we usually washed our hands and faces. The old 
 teacher made an effort to stoop down to the water, but could 
 not reach it owing to what he called "a crick" in his back. 
 Father then told him they would go to the house and have a 
 bowl prepared for him, when he exclaimed, "Oh! no! no! I 
 just washed good yesterday morning at Mr. AVest's." 
 
 One other practice, for which he received his final dis- 
 missal certificate by the Board, was as follows: He had a 
 bad felon on his thumb, and kept a poultice of rotten pota- 
 toes on it, and had used the same old rag around that thumb 
 till its real color could not be identified. When his poultice 
 got dry, his thumb would pain, and the only way to get re- 
 lief was to immerse it in cold water for a few minutes. So 
 he would take a gourdful of water (for we used gourds then 
 instead of dippers and tumblers as we do now), and he would 
 hold that old "felonious" thumb in the water till easy, and 
 then pour the water back into the bucket for those haunted 
 children to drink. 
 
 Now, my dear reader, don't dispute this, for it is true, 
 and was proven, and he was discharged. I witnessed this 
 myself when I was but five years old, but the incident is as 
 fresh in my mind as though it had transpired yesterday. I 
 can, and will, gladly furnish the names and addresses of 
 other pupils, men and women now of course, who saw the 
 same. Furthermore, that teacher would never allow a child 
 to throw any water out after taking a drink, but required 
 all to pour the remainder back into the bucket, as water was 
 scarce, and the spring was haunted. 
 
 While the stories about the spring being haunted were 
 all false, and had no foundation except that the bluff caused 
 an echo of voices, that school house really did become haunt- 
 ed several years later, and I heard the ghost and saw it with 
 my own eyes. 
 
 It was in 1863, during the civil war, when all the men 
 were off in the army on one side or the other, and all the 
 larger boys were hid in corn shocks, straw stacks, cellars, 
 and other such places, on acount of the false report being 
 
 65
 
 circulated that both sides were taking all boys over twelve 
 years of age for messenger boys. Owing to such state of 
 affairs, the number of pupils in the few schools that existed 
 there then, was limited, and instead of school being a place 
 to play, as was the case before the war^ it was a lonesome 
 place where only the girls and a few small boys were taught 
 by a lady. It could not be otherwise than lonesome, because 
 fathers, brothers and friends were away from home to fight, 
 and we could frequently hear the roar of cannons in the 
 distance, which reminded us that our dear ones would prob- 
 ably fall, while their helpless women and children were left 
 at home without money or anything else to live on except 
 what they themselves worked for, and only those in good cir- 
 cumstances could afford rye coffee, while poor people had to 
 brown corn meal and make coft'ee of that. Such was the 
 condition in the rural districts of Missouri at that time. 
 Now, my oldest sister, Drushane. had grown to be a teacher, 
 and was employed to teach our school under these circum- 
 stance, and while she was not superstitious in the least, she 
 was watchful and sensitive. 
 
 One dark, gloomy day, while only about a dozen of we 
 chlidren were sitting around her thinking over our lessons 
 (for she would not teach a "blab", or ^'loud*' school). All 
 were perfectly quiet, when we heard a most dismal noise! 
 It was low. but we could all hear it, and it seemed to be in 
 the house. The tone was' like this : "Oh-o-o !" and was 
 repeated about once in every three seconds. All the children 
 looked at their teacher, and she looked at them. Then she 
 said : "Children, don't be frightened, for it's only some one 
 trying to scare us! We'll find him and run him off!" But 
 her eyes became very prominent, she turned pale, and made 
 several eft'orts to swallow, I then knew that she 
 was afraid, and that made me the same way ; but 
 she managed to control us perfectly, and set us 
 about in search for the one who would dare to 
 molest a little school of helpless children. We peeped through 
 the floor, looked on top of the house, under the seats (or 
 benches rather), and found nothing. But that awful sound 
 continued. Then our teacher thought of the chimney, and 
 all took" a look up that, and while we could see nothing, we 
 
 66
 
 heard the sound much plainer there, and after we were con- 
 vinced that there was nothing in the chimney, all went out 
 to view the outside; and the brave little teacher, with her 
 heart apparently in her throat, climbed up till she could see 
 into the warm gutter between the chimney and the house. 
 Then she suddenly jumped back and down and exclaimed, 
 "I've found him ! It's an old cat up there asleep !" You may 
 suppose we lost no time in getting that old gray, cat out of 
 that gutter, and he left on a double-quick, amidst a shower of 
 stones, chips and sticks. So we had no more cat-snoring in 
 that school. Nor did we see or hear any more ghosts 
 there. 
 
 A LIVE GHOST IN BROAD DAY-LIGHT. 
 
 When I was a small 
 boy, my oldest brother, 
 who was then about i8 
 years old, was sent on an 
 errand, and had to go on 
 horseback about six 
 miles. A\nien returning 
 home, while passing 
 through the river bottom 
 where the timber was heavy and dense, he noticed an object 
 a few feet from his road, which resembled a woman with 
 a \yhite ruffled night cap and long gown, sitting on a log 
 with bare feet projecting from under her white robe. At 
 first, he thought it only an optical delusion; but after rub- 
 bing his eyes and taking the second look, he could see its 
 eyes move in the direction that he was going. He was 
 not truly a coward, but rather venturesome at times; espe- 
 cially, when he had a good horse under him to depend on. 
 So he resolved to make a further test of this strange piece 
 of ghostship, by speaking to it; and said in a very kind and 
 polite manner, "good-evening madam." No words, came in 
 
 67
 
 response to his courtesy, but the figure rose and extended 
 two white hands toward him. This is all that my brother 
 wanted to see at one time, so he brought his hickory switch 
 down on his pony with an alarming effect, and soon reached 
 home where he related his startling discovery, when Father 
 laughed and said : "It was Mr. Albertson's wife ! She is 
 insane, and goes where she wishes: but is harmless." 
 
 POLITICS AND MEDICINE. 
 
 tive practice in one of the 
 
 It is not the object of this 
 book to teach or to advise 
 physicians ; but I desire to 
 give the student of medicine 
 a few hints in regard to mix- 
 ing politics with his profes- 
 sion, by relating some of my 
 own experience. I had been 
 engaged in rather a lucra- 
 prettiest cities in the state 
 
 of Missouri for several years, and I knew about as 
 n.iuch about politics as a pig does about medicine : and 
 that was the very reason, together with the fact that I had 
 charged well for my services and collected most of my fees, 
 rendered me rather popular with all parties ; so much so 
 that I was importuned by leading citizens to accept the nom- 
 ination for representative to the Legislature. At first I de- 
 clined most emphatically; then after reconsideration of the 
 matter, I thought it rather unkind to turn a deaf ear to my 
 friends who had assisted me so much in obtaining practice, 
 and as my heart began to soften, my head did likewise, and 
 I consented for them to place my name before the conven- 
 tion. I had no particular desire for the position, and no 
 mouth for refusing it, and when the newspapers began to 
 arrive at my desk with marked articles concerning my noble 
 qualities and superior ability I began to see that I was truly 
 a benfactor of my country ; and I had a feeling of perfect 
 
 68
 
 repose. I felt that I was in the hands of my friends, and 
 would be thoroughly satisfied either way the nomination 
 went, for with the large adverse majority which my county 
 had always afforded, my chances for remaining at home were 
 flattering. So I rested extremely easy and kept my face in 
 normal position, with eyes and mouth straight, as you see in 
 No. I. 
 
 When convention day came I could see that I was right in 
 it, and I could already see that my patriotism was beginning 
 to interfere with my practice, and that instead of my office 
 being filled with noble women and sweet children in search 
 of relief and health as before, it contained one-horse poli- 
 ticians who had some good news for me or advice to offer. 
 But political aspirations are facinating, and when encour- 
 aged by friends, are hard for a fool to resist. So I put a 
 sign on my door, "1 will return at 5 p. m.", and I went to 
 the convention and was nominated with a whoop, over one 
 of the best old farmers in that county — a man far more 
 able to do justice to his constituents than I was ; but I would 
 not confess that fact just then. 
 
 Soon bills went out all over the country announcing the 
 time and places that I was to address the voters on the great 
 issues of the day, and soon I was making speeches in the 
 country school houses at night, and tormenting the farmers 
 with my presence during the day. Many women and child- 
 ren came to see and hear me because I had relieved them or 
 some of their friends of some malady previously, and many 
 of my old customers who differed with me politically, swore 
 that I could never treat a member of their family again, 
 not so much as prescribe for their yellow dog. But I went 
 on speech making and hand shaking. I would shake hands 
 with and pretend to know people who I had never seen nor 
 heard of, just like other politicians, and at the general elec- 
 tion I was just fifty votes ahead. This was quite a victory 
 considering that my opponent was an experienced cam- 
 paigner, and one of the leading lawyers of the county, and 
 that his party had over 400 majority to back him. Then I 
 realized that I was popular with both parties, because it re- 
 quired votes from both to elect me. While I had gained 
 political prestige, my paying practice of medicine and sur- 
 
 69
 
 gery was gone, and my office closed, and I was to be found in 
 the hotel lobby consulting with other politicians, reading- 
 letters addressed to the "Honorable ," and trying to 
 
 look wise. Now, my face had changed its proportions from 
 the normal position to one of joy and jollity, as is displayed 
 here in No. 2. 
 
 Either by chance, accident, or through Providence, I made 
 a very good record in the Legislature. But most of my time 
 was spent in answering letters from constituents claiming that 
 my election was due to their own untiring efforts in my 
 behalf, and that I must reimburse them by some appoint- 
 ment, a few dollars in cash, or by endorsing their note. 
 
 While in the Legislature, by boarding at a private house 
 and "spunging" on kind folks, I actually saved $300 which I 
 donated to my wife to finish paying for a home for her and 
 the children to live in while I was out looking after the inter- 
 ests of the blessed people. But before the Assembly ad- 
 journed I found myself receiving only $1 per day for my 
 valuable services, while I was paying $1.50 per day for board 
 and room. 
 
 AVhen I returned home I was met on the streets, in hotels, 
 and every place I went, b}^ the smaller type of suckers want- 
 ing any amount from, ten cents up, but I was not prepared 
 to dose out the cash to every one who told me how much he 
 had spent for my benefit, for my practice was gone, and of- 
 fice rent and other expenses had to be paid. Finally T suc- 
 ceeded in convincing about half of the people that I had 
 not entirely abandoned the practice of medicine, and many 
 of my old customers came back ; but I was looked upon as a 
 political doctor, and the next campaign T was promoted by 
 being nominated for state senator. The indications were 
 even more flattering than before, as I had won a little distinc- 
 tion as a politician, and my opponent was not so strong as the 
 one whom T had defeated. So I thought that T could read my 
 title clear to a seat in the capitol again. But a polit-'cal wave 
 struck that country, and my opponent being light weight, 
 was carried by the w'nd, and landed just where I wished to 
 be. .Then my face of joy and jollity was changed to one of 
 sorrow and troubles, as you see in No. 3. 
 
 70
 
 And now, dear student, let nie say in conclusion, the high- 
 er you fly politically, the harder you will fall. It is all right 
 to post yourself on political economy, and on the issues of 
 the day, but let partisianism alone. It is your duty to go 
 and cast your vote for the best interest of society in gener- 
 al, but keep your mouth shut about it. In other words, 
 "Don't dabble in politics;" for politics and medicine are in- 
 compatible and explosive, and may blow you up so high 
 that 3^our fall will cripple you permanently. 
 
 A LEAP IN THE DARK. 
 
 During my practice of 
 medicine, which has oc- 
 cupied about twenty-eight 
 years of my time already, 
 I have had many ups and 
 downs, but more downs 
 than ups and I have 
 observed that I could go 
 down much quicker than 
 I could go up, and could stay longer when I got there. I 
 have also noticed that it requires no effort to descend, while 
 it takes considerable effort to ascend. 
 
 Some people pretend to believe that if you mean well, you 
 will do well; and will succeed in every instance; but I am 
 of the opinion that plenty of genuine experience would con- 
 vince them otherwise. Some of my greatest failures have 
 come when I least expected them. 
 
 The fact that a man cannot fathom, the darkness of the 
 future, renders him unable to see, at times at least, what 
 is before him. He may not exactly understand the true 
 situation of things, and for the want of knowledge as to 
 the plans and' acts of others, he may find himself flat on 
 his back in the dark. As an example, I will here relate a 
 true story which took place in the year 1886. 
 
 71
 
 I was called to see a patient after supper, who lived just 
 across a small stream from where I had my shingle out. 
 By walking, the distance was only a half mile ; but the hills 
 were too steep, and the timber too dense for going across* 
 that way, on horseback". So I threw my pill bags on my 
 shoulder and walked over. After prescribing for my pati- 
 ent, and waiting till he got easy, I started for the place I 
 called home. I had noticed as I went over, that the little 
 creek required a good jump to cross it ; and as the timber 
 was very heavy and the hills high on both sides, the valley 
 had become exceedingly dark, and I could not see the dim 
 path as I went back, but thought I knew the way, and took 
 much pains to go in the right direction, looking carefully 
 for the creek lest I should '^get my foot in it." Finally I 
 saw the water glistening, and I cautiously advanced till I 
 l<new I was right, and then with an extra ordinary jump, 
 I went as far as I possibly could in order to land just right; 
 when to my utter astonishment, the earth seemed to fly up 
 and hit me in the back; but soon I recovered enough to 
 know that I was flat on my back with my head in the edge 
 of the water. The jolt excited my optical apparatuses, and 
 I saw a million of new stars, but was unable to see just 
 what had happened. I crawled out and picked my hat and 
 pill bags out of the water and groped my way up the hill 
 to my boarding place. 
 
 Next morning I went back to see what really did take 
 place ; whether an earthquake had occurred, or that only a 
 small land slide had struck me. But after taking my back 
 track to the water, I found that instead of crossing the 
 stream at the proper place. I had struck it several rods be- 
 low, where there was a bank about six feet high with a 
 limb projecting out from an old log that some one had 
 placed there for their own convenience in fishing: and it 
 caught my feet when I jumped, and turned them clear over 
 my head. And the print of my back remained there in the 
 mud to show the result of my mistake, and the folly of a 
 leap in the dark. 
 
 72
 
 MY HARDEST FALL. 
 
 I have had many hard falls during my career. I have 
 heen thrown from the backs of horses, mules, cattle, sheep, 
 and hogs when a boy, and I have slipped on ice and fell, 
 causing concussion of the brain ; and I have fallen in love 
 with girls; but my hardest fall occurred during the spring 
 of 1900. I was summoned to attend a very wealthy gentle- 
 man whose daily income was up in the hundreds. He owned 
 a large oil field in the state of New York, which contained 
 several gushing wells. He was quite old, and had no child- 
 ren. I found him suffering from an attack of acute pneu- 
 monia complicated with an organic heart affection. The 
 old gentleman appealed to me to be honest with him, and 
 tell the cold truth about his chances for recovery. I did 
 not hesitate, but told him frankly that his chance was very 
 doubtful. With tears in his eyes, he implored me to do all 
 in my power to save his life, as he had some mortgages, 
 deeds of trust, and other money matters to fix up, which 
 would require a few months time. Grasping my hand' firm- 
 ly, while the tears were flowing down his wrinkled cheeks, 
 he said in a trembling voice, "I have considerable wealth, 
 and no one to leave it to but my wife, and she is old and don't 
 need it, because she has a fortune of her own ; and if you 
 save my life, I will do something for you." This expres- 
 sion increased my courage, and I continued my examina- 
 tion, entering into the most minute details of his case. I 
 visited my extraordinary patient from two to three times 
 each day, and sometimes at night, for two weeks. My 
 course of treatment consisted of all the external and in- 
 ternal remedies that I could administer with safet}^ to the 
 patient, combined with suggestive and hygienic pre- 
 cautions. 
 
 Finally, the crisis came, and convalescence was fully es- 
 tablished, and as my patient recovered, his desire to reward 
 me did not fade away as is so frequently the case with 
 
 73
 
 some others ; but he remembered his promise and renewed 
 it at every visit I made. He would gaze at me and declare 
 that my face was the most beautiful one that he had ever 
 seen. Then he would complete the act by saying, "you 
 have saved my life, and I am going to do something for 
 you." All doubts as to his sincereity vanished from my 
 mind ; and the only question for me to solve, was the 
 amount I would receive. While I was made quite happy 
 by the bright prospects of. a little fortune, my sleep was 
 disturbed by my plans for investing a few thousand dollars ; 
 but I had a right to lie awake of nights if fortune so de- 
 creed, for it was better to be rich and suffer a little from 
 insomnia, than to be poor and sleep of nights on horseback^ 
 as I had done for twenty-five years. 
 
 When I dismissed his case, he asked me to make out my 
 bill ; and in order to prove to him that he was bestowing a 
 fortune on a worthy subject. I rendered my bill for the us- 
 ual amount that I charged my neighbors in such cases, and 
 it was promptly paid and my receipt asked for in full. 
 
 Within a few days, my patient called at the hotel where 
 I was boarding, and informed me that he was to return to 
 New York on the next train; but could not leave without 
 first doing something for me. He declared that I was to 
 him, the best looking and dearest man on earth : and I 
 returned the compliment, and assured him that it was my 
 highest pleasure to fan every spark of his life into a blaze 
 of glory. He then grasped my hand, and leading me back 
 in the hall where others could not hear, said : "I am going 
 to do something for you, and I'll now tell you what it is." 
 At this moment his lips quivered, and his grip almost 
 crushed the bones in my hand. I then wondered whether 
 the amount would be $50,000, $20,000 or only $10,000. My 
 heart beat with exaggerated force ; in fact, my internal caroted 
 arteries were pounding on my auditory nerves like a sledge 
 hammer on the boiler of a steam engine. I felt like jump- 
 ing right straight up, and looked to see if there were any 
 danger of my head striking the ceiling. Indeed, I felt that 
 I was duly elected. Just then the old gentleman reached 
 his arm aroimd my neck, and with his other hand caught 
 my ear and pulled it to his lips, and in a whisper said: "T 
 
 74
 
 will now give you a fortune, if you will make good use of 
 it. It is a never failing remedy for 'The Piles.' He then 
 stepped back and looked me in the eye with an expression 
 that seemed to say, "do you appreciate the fortune?" 
 
 I staggered into my room, locked the door, and fell onto 
 my bed. The old man left on next train, but I did not 
 tell him good-bye ; because my fall was too hard for me to 
 rise so soon, and I lay there thinking, "Oh, what is man 
 that Thou art mindful of him?" 
 
 A SURE CURE FOR MENINGITIS. 
 
 Some years, ago I was 
 called out one cold windy 
 night, and had to walk 
 facing the snow which was 
 coming from the north- 
 west at an angle of 15 de- 
 grees. I walked because 
 it being but a mile, I 
 thought it too close to ride, 
 and too cold to hitch up nty team ; but I found the snow 
 deep and slippery, and in making three steps I slipped back 
 one ; but I managed to get there. I found my patient suf- 
 fering from an imaginary attack of what he called ''spinal 
 meningitis of the brain." He was about 60 years old, and 
 had been trying to practice medicine for many years. He 
 informed me that his best remedy had failed to relieve him 
 on account of the cold weather interfering with the appli- 
 cation of it. I inquired what his remedy was, and he gave 
 me the secret in detail, the substance of which was. to 
 place a drop of molasses on the end of the patient's nose 
 and allow the flies to suck at it. He stated that the irrita- 
 tion of the nose produced by the constant gnawing of the 
 flies would invariably draw all the inflanTmation" from the 
 meninges. I endorsed his remedy heartily, and advised him 
 
 75
 
 to continue the treatment; but he said the weather was so 
 cold that the flies could not perform their function. I then 
 made a thorough examination of his case, and found that 
 he had a mild attack of acute bronchitis, which accounted 
 for the pain in his head, which he had mistaken for a more 
 grave malady. I prescribed my usual course of treatment 
 in such cases, and urged him to keep up his method of nasal 
 irritation, or counter-irritation, and suggested that they 
 warm up their room so that the flies could do their duty. 
 When I got ready to leave him, he grasped my hand and 
 made me promise to return next day. Next day I reached 
 his bedside at the appointed hour, and found the temper- 
 ature of the room about 90, and his wife busy shewing the 
 flies around toward the old doctor's nose ; and you can im- 
 agine my uncontrolable disposition to laugh, when I 
 glanced at my patient and saw his nose covered with mo- 
 lasses, and a large clothes pin slipped down tightly over it 
 in order to accomplish what the flies failed to do. I com- 
 plimented him on account of his ingenious and skillful treat- 
 ment of himself, and invited him to call at my office when 
 he got up, and it would not be necessary for me to make 
 any more visits, since he had the case under control. With- 
 in a few days he stepped into my office and stated that he 
 merely called to show me what wonderful results he had 
 attained from the persistent use of that clothes pin, which 
 he was certain had saved his life. He left me, saying, 
 "when you or your family get sick I will return your pro- 
 fessional courtesy." 
 
 76
 
 A ROOSTER PULLING. 
 
 When a young man, I 
 was proud of my physical 
 strength and activity ; and 
 while practicing in Dyer 
 County, Tenn., I visited 
 the log rollings and took 
 part, often lifting against 
 some of the brags of that 
 country; but I never fully 
 exerted every ounce of my strength until I took a pull at 
 an old rooster's hind legs. This is the way I got into it: 
 I was boarding with a good old man who had a wife and 
 seven children at home. Most of the children were 
 grown. He also had a son-in-law who had recently been 
 grafted into the family by the matrimonial process. This 
 son-in-law was a doctor, and they all called him "Dock." 
 The children all stood by their mother in every thing she 
 did or said; and the mother always took sides with her 
 husband, which was right, of course ; and the father always 
 believed and acted according to the dictates and sugges- 
 tions of Dock ; and in most instances, he was safe in doing 
 so, because Dock had more sound brains than all the other 
 nine combined. But such arrangement made matters a lit- 
 tle severe on me, when by chance I differed with that im- 
 portant son-in-law; because when I did so, I had the whole 
 shooting-match against me, and either had to back down or 
 fight to a finish. 
 
 One day while all were at the dining table, Dock sug- 
 gested that no man living could hurt a rooster by pulling at 
 his legs while its breast rested against his bare foot. I un- 
 thoughtedly remarked that I could kill any old cock in the 
 state of Tennessee that- way. Then Dock offered to bet ♦ 
 that I could not hurt one. and said that after I got through 
 pulling, the rooster would walk off, flop his wings and crow. 
 
 77
 
 He went on to say I could not hurt an old hen ; and he 
 would bet that if I tried, she would walk off singing, "kah, 
 kah, kah." Then the old man bounced upon me, and his wife 
 began, then all the children fell in line, they laughed and dared 
 me to try it; and when I said I did not want to kill their roos- 
 ters, they offered to pay for all damage. Finally, I got my 
 ambition aroused, and declared myself ready, if they would 
 furnish the victim free of charge to me. They accepted my 
 proposition, and set 8 o'clock the next morning for the fun, 
 as they had to wait till night to catch the rooster. The old 
 lady was of an extremtely romantic disposition, and had an 
 old rooster that she called her "lonesome crower." She 
 was so confident that Dock was right in his judgment, that 
 she offered her lonesome crower, stating that she would not 
 take less than $io for him ; but as she knew he would l)e 
 in no danger she would use him on this occasion just to' 
 give hini more notoriety. I knew she admired that rooster 
 on account of his peculiar doleful crow, and his extreme 
 age, and I really dreaded the consequences of the experi- 
 ment ; but as you know, fight means fight, and opposition 
 excites opposition ; and they had antagonized me so much, 
 and had so much fun at my expense, that I felt almost able 
 to pull a mule's legs off; and certainly I could fix that old 
 
 rooster. As last warning, I said. "Mrs. C , I'll kill that 
 
 old cock sure, for I'm in this game to win.'' She replied, 
 "you can't hurt him ! it will make him better, and the 
 other chickens will be more proud of him." 
 
 Night came on and the old lonesome crower was caught 
 and kept in a box till morning. Soon as breakfast was over, 
 everything was put in order for the pulling; btit my! how 
 they did laugh! It seemied that the shingles on the roof 
 rattled ! They were so funny that I enjoyed it a little bit 
 myself. Eight o'clock came, and botli ]:)arties ans\vered 
 ready. Dock had been selected as the referee, and the se- 
 lection pleased me, because he was an honest man. and I 
 had no fears that he would be unfair with me. He ordered 
 me to take both shoes off, and T obeyed; then he ordered 
 me to be seated flat on the floor, which T also obeyed. I 
 then spoke up and advised them all to kiss that old cock 
 good-by ; but they declined, saying, they expected to con- 
 
 78
 
 gratulate him soon. Dock placed the fowl's stomach against 
 my bare foot, one of his legs in each hand, and said: "Now 
 begin to pull gradually." I took a full breath and renewed 
 my resolution to either kill that old rooster or change my 
 boarding place. Then I let on my pressure; and while all 
 seemed to have implicit confidence in the rooster, I could 
 see in the old chicken's eye an expression of doubt as to 
 his safety. Just as I put on the very last ounce of my 
 strength, which, according to the scales, was 700 pounds, 
 
 I felt his structure giving 
 way. and his head fell ; for 
 his life was extinct. Now, 
 all the laughing was over for 
 I could not laugh alone, and 
 I had no one to help me. In 
 fact, it was not the proper 
 place to laugh just then, be- 
 cause all other inmates of 
 the house were in mourn-'ng over the old lonesome 
 crower. The old lady and her girls wept, while 
 Dock and the other men folk bowed their heads in submis- 
 ■<ion to Providence: The price of that cock suddenly rose 
 to $25. At any rate, the old lady demanded that amount 
 of me for so brutally murdering her pet. I kept unusually 
 still for a time, till all could become reconciled. Within a 
 few days, I felt safe : because I heard Dock and the old 
 gentleman oflfering to bet with some of their neighbors that 
 T could kill any rooster in Tennessee on a straight, honest 
 pull. 
 
 Now, good reader, let me admonish you to never bet on 
 any man's tricks. Alen may tell you wonderful things that 
 they and their friends think they know, but I say. the right 
 man can kill the rooster every time. 
 
 79
 
 LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. 
 
 For this story, I am in- 
 debted to a cousin who 
 told it to me concerning 
 his uncle, and my uncle 
 as well ; and he vouches 
 for the truthfulness of 
 every statement contained 
 therein. If I thought 
 that any one would con- 
 strue a word of it to be in disrespect to the aged relative, 
 this article would be omitted entirely ; for no relative of 
 mine has been held in higher esteem by me than this dear 
 old uncle. He was not wealthy financially, but r:ch in char- 
 acter. A more industrious and honest man than he never 
 lived. Alas ! Like most of my ancestors, he has crossed 
 the gulf from whence he cannot return, and left me here 
 to live a few more years with hope to anchor where I can 
 once more meet him and other near and dear ones face to 
 face. 
 
 Uncle's noble and blessed wife had fallen asleep many 
 years previously, and his children had all married, leaving 
 him alone, with no company except an old horse, which 
 he rode about, visiting children and other relatives. He 
 was old — up in the seventies, and whether true or not, he 
 imagined himself more or less in the way. So he con- 
 ceived the idea that perhaps he could find a worthy 
 widow, just as lonesome as himself. This thought occupied 
 his mind imtil he revealed his inclinations to his nephew 
 (my cousin), who encouraged him, saying he knew a fine old 
 lady, owning a ten-acre farm, two boys, and an old mare. 
 L'^^ncle was exceedingly pleased at this fortunate discovery, 
 and urged an immediate introduction to the widow. So 
 they saddled their horses and rode ove«-, claiming that they 
 were huntiner for a lost cow. The widow was at home. 
 
 80
 
 looking as fresh as the dog-wood blossoms in the month of 
 May; the old mare was in the lot, and the two boys were 
 playing in the yard. Uncle took in the situation at a glance, 
 and thought he could never find a better opportunity, and 
 that he had better push his cause. It seemed to him that 
 every word he spoke, and every flash of his keen black eyes 
 was duly appreciated by Mrs. N. So he lost no time in in- 
 forming her that he was alone in the world, and that his 
 loneliness had become very lonesome, and he intended to 
 break the monotony his first chance. The widow seemed 
 to be glad to hear this, and right there, in the presence of 
 Cousin, confessed that she had been pondering the very 
 same thoughts in her mind, but was afraid she could never 
 find any one who could get along with her boys, as they 
 had lived so far away from school that they could not at- 
 tend, and had, consequently, studied vice instead of virtue. 
 Uncle assured her that he loved small boys, and would take 
 great interest in bringing them up in the way that they 
 should go, and he urged' her to bring them in to get ac- 
 quainted with him. Then she called and introduced them, 
 at the same time asking, "Do you think you can get along 
 with these bad boys?" "Certainly! Certainly! Always!" 
 was the reply. "Then come over tomorrow and we will see a 
 little further about matters," said Mrs. N. Cousin took this 
 for a hint that he was a little too much company on an oc- 
 casion like that, and as he had performed his part, he pro- 
 posed to go on looking for the lost cow, and they departed. 
 From that moment Uncle did nothing except talk about 
 "that nice widow ; those fine boys ; that splendid old mare ; 
 and that beautiful little farm." "I will marry the widow, 
 and hitch my old horse in by the side of her mare and the 
 boys can make the crop while I sit and talk to my wife." 
 He could not sleep on account of thinking about going back 
 the next day, and got up at all hours of the night and sat 
 before the fire wishing for day to come. Finally, day did 
 come, and the sun rose in unusual splendor and seemed to 
 Uncle to say. "you are dawning upon a new life — one of joy 
 and happiness." After breakfast, no time was lost by Uncle. 
 He mounted his old horse and rode over to see his widow ; 
 for by this time, he called her "my widow." From some 
 
 Si
 
 cause, he forgot to invite Cousin to go with him on this oc- 
 casion. When he arrived, the dear little boys whom he 
 had already learned to love with parental afifection, were 
 dressed in their Sunday clothes, and met him and hitched 
 his horse, and invited him to go into the house ; and he 
 obeyed without being told the second time. There he was 
 met by his widow, who seemed desperately glad to see him. 
 and was herself all fixed up with her store dress on, and 
 her hair braided and hanging down her back like a girl. 
 Soon they were in the midst of earnest courtship. He pro- 
 posed that they lose no time, but get married at once, and 
 start anew in life ; but she hesitated on account of the boys, 
 saying, "they are so bad I'm afraid you can't get along 
 with them." He avowed that he would never give either of 
 them a cross word, and would never allow any one except 
 her to say that they were bad. He declared that they were 
 as near like angels as he had ever seen, and that he loved 
 them, and could not be made to believe that they would do 
 wrong. This was enough. Airs. N. consented, and set Sun- 
 day as the day, which only gave Uncle one day in which to 
 go eighteen miles after the license. Then, with a lover's 
 hand-shake, he bade her an affectionate farewell, and at- 
 tempted to salute her according to ancient custom, but she 
 shied, and he desisted. 
 
 When Uncle reached his horse, he noticed the boys peep- 
 ing around the corner of the barn at him, and just to show 
 them how spry their new father was, by exerting every 
 muscle in his hide, he sprang into the saddle at one jump, 
 but did not remain there long, because the old horse would 
 not have been more surprised if the moon and seven stars 
 had hit him square in the back. He kicked high with both 
 feet, and threw himself into every shape possible, and cut 
 all kinds of capers, while my dear old Uncle went heels up, 
 and over the horse's head, and the girth broke, letting the 
 saddle fall with a half dozen sharp stones that had been 
 placed under it by the angelic boys. Uncle got up rather 
 slowly and re-adjusted his old saddle and walked over to 
 Cousin's, leading his steed. Cousin met him at the door 
 and asked, "how did you make it?" Uncle shook his head 
 and said, "Not at all! I'll never go on that place again! 
 
 82
 
 Those boys ought to be in the pen ! Why, they are the 
 worst I ever saw ! I have no use for them, nor any one 
 that's a-kin to them." Cousin asked if he still thought they 
 were like angels, and he replied. "Yes, they are angels; 
 Angels of the Devil." 
 
 A TEN DOLLAR STORY. 
 
 Away back in the sixties I knew an old doctor whose 
 name was really "Smith." He had never graduated from 
 a medical school, but received his medical education in the 
 army. While he could not boast of having a classical edu- 
 cation, he had an eye to business, and loved to collect a 
 handsome fee as well as any man. One day he was called 
 to see a Mr. Blank, who had accidentall}^ swallowed a ten 
 dollar gold piece, and wanted the first doctor that could be 
 found. At first Smith hesitated about going, because Blank 
 was known to him as well as to all other doctors in reach 
 as a dead-head, but after the second thought, the old doctor's 
 cunning ingenuity suggested to him, go, for you can get 
 your pay this time if you manage things just right, for 
 there is no doubt about the patient having the cash, if you 
 can only "get it out of him. So he lost no time, and was soon 
 leading the Avay around the curve, several rods ahead of the 
 messenger who summoned him. When he arrived, he found 
 his patient somewhat financially depressed, and frightened 
 almost out of his senses. "Doctor! Doctor!" he exclaimed; 
 "Can you do anything for me? Can you save it? Will it 
 melt? Oh! Doctor, save me and you shall have your pay 
 if it takes the shirt oflf of my back." The old doctor laughed 
 at this expression, because he had practiced long enough to 
 know that a man who uses such language will never pay 
 a bill if he can 'avoid it. But he said, "All right. Blank, I'll 
 stick to you this time and risk getting my pay." He then 
 ordered Mr. B. to eat six cold biscuits, four doughnuts, and 
 a pie-crust, which B. gulped down within ten minutes; then
 
 asked, "Dock, is this all you are going to give me?" '*Yes^ 
 for the present," he replied. Smith knew that his only 
 chance was to await results, so he treated the case on the 
 "expectant" plan. That is, he expected to get a fee of $io 
 soon. 
 
 After sitting on an old stool-bottom chair with its back 
 crippled, for twenty-four hours, the old doctor became more 
 restless than the patient, and in order to encourage matters 
 a little, he ventured to put a drop of croton oil into a bread 
 pill and drop it down Blank's esophagus. Within a few 
 minutes the patient had important business in another room^ 
 and on his return exclaimed, "Dock, you must be tired ; you 
 can go home and sleep some, and I'll send for you if I get 
 worse." This aroused Smith's suspicion, and he sprang to 
 his feet and excitedly remarked, "Has my medicine had the 
 desired effect? Let me see! I want to note the effect the 
 human system has on gold !" Mr. B. replied, "The human 
 system has'nt so much effect on gold as gold has on the 
 human system. I could see no change in' it at all. and 
 not knowing that you cared to see it, I've just sent it to 
 the store to buy the children some Christmas candy and a 
 few other little tricks." 
 
 SHE TOOK HER MEDICINE. 
 
 In 1878 I was called to see a woman who boasted of tak- 
 ing medicine as directed. I left her five powders and direc- 
 tions to take one every two hours. Next day I returned 
 and examined my patient, and then proceeded to count the 
 doses left, as was my custom, to see how many had been 
 taken, when, to my surprise and dissatisfaction, I found five 
 powders still in the box. I then asked my patient how many 
 doses she had taken, and she replied, "I taken all-uv-um." 
 I frankly disputed her word, and told her that she had not 
 taken one. The woman declared that she had taken ten. 
 and proved her statement by her little boy, who had given 
 
 84
 
 her the medicine. I informed her that I had only left five 
 doses, but she persisted in saying that she had taken ten. 
 I then opened each paper in order to make my case stronger, 
 and found that they all contained ashes. Her five-year-old 
 son had refilled the papers with ashes as fast as they had 
 been emptied, and his mother had taken five doses of my 
 medicine, and five doses of his ashes. Had I not returned, 
 probably the old lady would have been converted into an 
 ash-hopper. However, she made a good recovery, and the 
 combination seemed to be perfectly compatible with her 
 system. 
 
 MY DOG FIGHT. 
 
 I am somewhat coward- 
 ly when facing a mad man 
 or a wild hog. because 
 neither have sense enough 
 to know when they are 
 whipped ; but I never was 
 afraid of a dog, because 
 dogs know when they get 
 enough. The only time 
 that I ever felt like backing down from dogs, was in 1876, 
 and I did not back down then, however, because I was 
 kept too busy. It was in Lake County, Tenn. I had been 
 called to see a Mrs. Moore (who was sick, of course), and 
 when I arrived, there was no one about except the patient. 
 I hitched my horse and started to the house, when I no- 
 ticed a large fox hound coming around each side of the house 
 at full speed, and yelling with all their power. Neither of 
 them manifested any symptoms of cowardice, but both made 
 directly for me. I took in the situation at once, and saw that 
 I could do nothing except kick ; so I let drive at the first one 
 which came in reach, with my right foot, and as he dodged 
 back, the other one came, and I kicked at him with my left, 
 
 85
 
 and as he dodged back the other one came again on my 
 right. In this way the performance continued. They were 
 botli good jumpers, hard snappers and quick dodgers, so they 
 kept me busy kicking with both feet (alternately), for several 
 seconds, and after I had been kicking and jumping till I felt 
 my strength failing, and had not touched a hair on either 
 dog, I saw a third hound coming from the barn in full speed. 
 This was very discouraging, because I only had two feet, and 
 they were both engaged. I had all kinds of thoughts, and 
 said all kinds of things, but all that I could do or say im- 
 parted no discouragement to the ferocious beasts. Just as 
 the third one appeared, my patient had finished dressing 
 herself, and opened the door and yelled in a loud voice, 
 "Watch, Ring, Trail, sneak off!" They obeyed, and I was 
 more pleased to meet my patient than ever before, or s-'nce. 
 She probably saved my life, and I am sure she saved my 
 pantloons. 
 
 MIND OVER MATTER. 
 
 Should one desire to 
 compete with quacks, 
 He must acquire psyco- 
 logical facts. 
 
 Whilst the little event 
 which I am going to re- 
 late actually took place in 
 my. practice, the idea is not 
 entirely original with me, 
 because I was indebted to a friend for the story long before 
 T used it on my patient. 
 
 My patient was a noble woman in most respects, and a 
 splendid patient, because she sent for me often and always 
 pii\(\ her bills promptly. She was subject to the most terrible 
 attacks of her heart, head, throat and stomch, but they al- 
 ways yielded to my treatment ; in fact I could relieve her 
 
 86
 
 with most anything, provided she did not know what I was 
 giving. Her husband often told me that my presence did 
 her as much good as the medicine, but she never told me so. 
 The husband was a farmer and a good man, but he became 
 vexed at having to quit his work and go after me so often. 
 One day he came out plainly and said: "Doctor, I don't 
 mind paying your bills, but I haven't time to go after you 
 every few da3^s ; crop time is here now, and just as soon as I 
 go into the field my wife calls me to go after you. Now, 
 doctor, be honest with me and tell me if my wife is really in 
 any danger." His earnest appeal for the truth elicited my ■ 
 sympathy, and I broke down and stated the facts. I said, 
 your wife is only hysterical and is in no danger whatever. 
 If she would pick up a resolution, and exercise will power, 
 she would not need much medicine. ''But how can we get 
 her to do that? What can I do? I am going to lose a crop 
 if something is not done ! Can't you suggest something that 
 will stimulate this resolution and will power which you pre- 
 scribe?" This request from the good and earnest husband w^as 
 more than I could resist, and I promised to give him a "sure 
 cure," provided he would protect me, and carry my directions 
 out to the letter. This he readily agreed to, and I proceeded : 
 You tell your wife that you are satisfied, after talking with 
 me, that she cannot live long, and that if she does any work 
 she is liable to die any time ; that she must have a girl to 
 do the kitchen work. Then you go and get the best looking 
 girl you can find and give her full control of the kitchen. 
 That is not all ; give the girl considerable attention. When you 
 return from your work enter the kitchen first, converse with 
 the girl a while, then go in and see your wife. If this fails 
 let me know and I'll try some other remedy. He thanked 
 me, and promised that he would comply with my simple and 
 pleasant advice. I heard nothing more for some weeks, but 
 I knew that something had happened, because I received no 
 more calls to that place. Finally I met him and asked how 
 things worked, and he said "fine;" and then he made the fol- 
 lowing statement: "I told her that she could not live long, 
 and that she would be likely to die any time if she did any 
 work, and we must have a girl. She agreed to this, and said, 
 "Go and get Sallie , for she is the only girl I will have 
 
 87
 
 on the place." That suited me exactly, and I had Sallie ' 
 there within two hours. Sallie went to work, and I gave her 
 all the attention necessary, and it seemed to agree with Sal- 
 lie's sentiments. My wife became almost helpless ; we had 
 to carry her meals to her bed, and I thought for a time that 
 your plan was a failure ; she had crying spells, and began 
 to beg me to send for you. She would have Sallie sit and 
 rub her for hours, to keep up her circulation. She thought 
 lots of Sallie and Sallie thought lots of her. One day after 
 I had gone to the farm, my wife called Sallie in and told her, 
 with tears streaming down her cheeks, that she would not 
 live long, and was liable to die at any moment ; and that 
 she had one request to make of her, and that was to marry 
 her husband after her death and bring up her little children. 
 Sallie was greatly affected by this death-bed request, and 
 the poor girl broke down and said: "Your husband has al- 
 ready spoken to me about that!" The next moment m}^ wife 
 was skipping about the house, and Sallie was pulling for 
 home with her little bundle of clothes under her arm. When 
 I returned, the smoke was boiling out of the chimney, the 
 dishes were rattling as I had never heard them before, and 
 a good dinner was waiting for me, all prepared by the hands 
 of my own dear wife, who, as I entered, exclaimed : 'T am 
 well! I don't need any girl to raise up my children! I'm not 
 going to die for a long time !" And she has never had a sick 
 spell since." 
 
 While the husband may have kept his promise to protect 
 me by not telling his wife that I had prescribed such course 
 of treatment, it is a fact worthy of note, that I never did any 
 more practice in that family. Other children came and they 
 got sick, but other physicians were called. 
 
 ss
 
 FOGY PRACTICE. 
 
 During my early medical 
 career, when I enjoyed fun- 
 ny things, and possessed 
 the patience of Job, and had 
 very few of the kind of pa- 
 tients essential to a doc- 
 tor's success, I had a case 
 which may be classed un- 
 der the head of "fogy prac- 
 tice." I hesitate, however, to state all the facts as they re- 
 ally exist, because my patient is living yet and is no cow- 
 ard, but as he is a very dear friend of mine, probably I 
 can claim exemption under that pretext. 
 
 My patient was a doctor, but not a graduate. He had 
 never seen a medical school. He believed that medical 
 schools were a curse to the country. His niedical knowl- 
 edge had been handed down to him through four gener- 
 ations. Some of his uncles, grand-uncles and great grand- 
 uncles had been doctors, and he was in full possession of 
 all the specifics and cure-alls known to all his ancestors 
 and pre-ancestors. Of course, he believed in cat-skin poul- 
 tices in pneumonia, snuff in confinement cases, mad stones 
 in hydrophobia, sheep tea in measles, the blood of a black 
 cat's tail in shingles, in drawing the fire out of a burn by 
 holding the part burned to the fire that produced the burn, 
 in pulling the hair on top of his head to raise a fallen palate 
 and that the bark of the butternut, which has been peeled 
 upward will vomit, while that which has been peeled down- 
 ward will purge. 
 
 The doctor enjoyed a more extensive practice than I had, 
 because most of his remedies were infallible, and were 
 "known to all the grandmothers in that locality as such. But 
 he got sick and sent for me; not to prescribe, but to admin- 
 ister his own remedy. When I reached his bedside, I found 
 
 89
 
 him sprawled and looking desperately sick, and his good 
 wife by his side fanning the flies away, which seemed to 
 have a special hankering after the corners of his mouth 
 and eyes. I inquired, Doctor, what's the matter? He re- 
 plied in a weak, sickly tone, "My palate is down." He 
 drew his own words out like taffy at a country candy pulling, 
 and they escaped principally through his nose, which gave 
 them a ring s-milar to that of a tin horn. I replied, well 
 what can we do for you? He remarked, "I have a never 
 failing remedy, but can't use it on myself." What is it? I 
 asked. "I have my patient to lie down on the floor and stif- 
 fen liimself and I take hold oi the hair on top of his head 
 and lift him onto his feet." I remarked, that is a good rem- 
 edy ! Did you ever use it on women? "Yes; many a time," 
 came his reply. On children? I asked. "Yes! Hundreds 
 of times." I then examined him and found that he had 
 nothing the matter except a relaxed condition of the uvula, 
 and was frightened about his palate; and inasmuch as he 
 had punished women and children with his "never failing 
 remedy," I felt real anxious to give him a dose or two of 
 his own medicine; so I said, your remedy is better than any- 
 thing I have, and I think I can administer it in a scientific 
 (?) way. He crawled out of bed and stretched himself on 
 the floor. His hair was long, and I had no trouble in get- 
 ting a firm hold. Now, ready! Stiffen yovirself! Take a 
 deep breath ! Keep your mouth shut tightly ! were my com- 
 mands, and with one tremendous jerk I sat him upon his 
 feet. Now. open your mouth! Poke your tongue out! 
 That helped! Try it again? Down he went the second 
 time, and I repeated the dose quicker than before", and as 
 he lit on his feet he uttered a groan which revealed the fact 
 that he had enough. I then looked in his throat, and ex- 
 claimed, nearly well! One more time will make it all 
 right! He rolled his white eyes toward me, sighed dee]i- 
 ly, and said : "I think it is all right now," and tumbled onto 
 the bed, and turned his back to me. I then suggested a few 
 doses of quinine, and an astringent wash for his throat, and 
 departed. As T passed out of the room, T noticed him feel- 
 ing the top of his head to see if it were all there. 
 
 90
 
 GRANDPA'S BUTTER. 
 
 The following story 
 was told to me by my 
 father, and, of course, 
 must be true: 
 
 Early in the Nineteenth 
 Century my great grand 
 father owned a 'flock of 
 sheep, among which was a 
 ~ ram known to all the 
 grandchildren as "Grandpa's Butter." The lot in which 
 the sheep were kept at night, was near a stream, and the 
 bank of the creek constituted the fence on that side. Some 
 of the grandsons had been practicing with the old ram and 
 had him trained so that when tempted by a nod of the head 
 he would butt. Finally, some of the boys devised a plan to 
 duck the old sheep — thinking it might break him of his bad 
 habit. After tempting the animlal till he made his lunge at 
 them, they would drop to the ground in order to prevent 
 the sheep's head from coming in contact with their own, 
 and he would pass over them, missing his mark, and then 
 walk around and back off for another trial, as his disappoint- 
 ment only aggravated him, and caused him to butt quicker 
 and harder the next time. After he became quite angry 
 and bold, one day one of the boys stood on the bank, which 
 was eight feet high and over a deep pool of water, and 
 leaned forward and gave a nod or two at the old ram, 
 and here he came in full tilt and the boy dropped to the 
 ground, while the sheep passed on over the bank, lighting 
 in the pool of water. The boys had just succeeded in 
 getting him out of the water and back into the lot, and 
 were preparing for another demonstration, when Grand- 
 pa came upon them and required an explanation of such 
 unhuman conduct toward a dumb brute, and threatened to 
 take, a hickory and thrash every one who took part in such 
 
 9T
 
 an act again. "Poor old sheep," he said. "Who could 
 blame you for butting at such wicked and unruly boys. 
 They shall not punish you any more." The boys thought 
 it best to vacate that place till Grandpa's temper subsided, 
 and they went away, but when a few rods off they looked 
 back to see if they were being pursued, when they noticed 
 that Grandpa had permitted his own curiosity to be ex- 
 cited, and he was evidently taking some scientific observations 
 of animal nature. He gazed at the old sheep with appar- 
 ent amazement, while he himlself Avas standing near this 
 bank over which the angry ram had just leaped, and not 
 expecting that the much abused victim could fail to appre- 
 ciate his kind act in rescuing him, he remarked, "Come and 
 butt with Granpa," at the same time nodding his head. 
 This was sufficient. The sheep came in full tilt, and as 
 Grandpa turned to retreat, landed a terriffic blow just 
 where Grandpa's legs .were joined to his body, and both 
 went over the bank, plunging into the water. The boys 
 saw this caper and ran back and rescued both, when Grand- 
 pa exclaimed in a crabbid and angry tone, "Boys, take that 
 
 sheep to town and sell him to the first butcher you 
 
 can find, and spend the money he brings for some good lin- 
 iment — for bruises, and hurrv back." 
 
 BACK BITING. 
 
 The author of the fol- 
 lowing story is a very 
 prominent minister, whose 
 name I have not secured 
 permission to publish, but 
 it appeared so rich and in- 
 structive, as he presented 
 it, that I shall repeat it, 
 on account of the forcible 
 manher in which it illus- 
 trates the human nature that some animals possess, and 
 how an innocent being may be crippled for life. 
 
 92
 
 "I chanced to call at the gate of an Indian in the Indian 
 Territory, and noticed an old worthless looking donkey 
 backing up to a very fine cow. The cow moved away, but 
 the donkey followed, and again jammed his back up to her 
 nose, and the cow again stepped to one side, when the don- 
 key backed up to her the third time ; then the cow walked 
 away in disgust. This time the donkey got angry and be- 
 came furious. He reared and kicked with both feet, and 
 then leaped toward the cow and began to bite her back. "I 
 said, look, that donkey will kill your cow !" The Indian 
 said, "He bites her back with his mouth, because she will 
 not lick him where he wants her to." This is the way some 
 people will serve you if you don't serve them. 
 
 HOW TO CLEAN A CHIMNEY. 
 
 Cleaning chimneys and flues was a difficult and dirty task 
 till the instantaneous method was introduced a few years 
 
 ago by a gentleman in , Mo. His method is one that 
 
 does its work quickly, when it goes the right way ; but ow- 
 ing to the fact that it usually goes the wrong way, it is 
 not to be recommended, except to parties who you think 
 have spent about enough of their time in this world. In 
 one of the leading saloons there, and the word "leading'' is 
 a very indefinite quantity when applied to the saloon in 
 that beautiful little city, for all the saloons are in the lead 
 there. That is one of the towns in which the W. C. T. U. 
 and the Y. M. C. A. cannot find sufficient material to effect 
 an organization. Well, in one of the saloons the chimney, 
 or flue, became stopped so that the smoke did not escape 
 through it, and the proprietor began preparations for clean- 
 ing it, when one of his regular customers entered and re- 
 marked. "Let me show you how to clean a flue. I'll do it 
 so quick it will make your head swim to look at it. Get 
 nie a pound of powder! Give me a plank about 12 by 20. 
 
 93
 
 Give me a match !" He placed a box near the wall, and a 
 smaller box on that, mounted them, struck his match and 
 lighted the paper containing the powder, which he had al- 
 ready placed in the flue through the stove-pipe hole, then 
 thrust his plank over the hole, pushing with all his power, 
 
 saying, "Now see me blow every bit of the soot out at 
 
 the top." Just then the thing went off, but instead of going 
 out at the top, it came out at the same place it went in, and 
 this ingenious inventor went with it. Soon as the smoke 
 cleared away sufficiently to see. he was picked up by his 
 friends from about the center of the floor,- and your humble 
 servant sent for in haste. When I arrived, I beheld a funny 
 and pitiful aspect. Yes, I felt sorry awhile, and had 'to 
 laugh awhile. All his hair, eye-brows, lashes, and whiskers 
 were burned off, and an effort to wipe the black powder 
 from his fat face and red nose, took the skin in great flakes. 
 I spent several days in scraping and picking powder out of 
 his eye balls and face, and finally restored him to his aver- 
 age normal condition. 
 
 I think I hear some of my professional brethren ask a 
 question, to which I reply, no, he never paid me, but T got 
 the worth of my services in pure fun. for I certainly en- 
 joyed his unique method of cleaning flues. In fact, I woke 
 up in the night to take a good laugh at his marvelous in- 
 vention. 
 
 A FAITHFUL MINISTER. 
 
 In relating this story I have no des-'re or inclination to 
 cast the least reflection or sarcasm on a minister of the 
 Gos]5el. I think, I believe, I know! that a minister who is 
 all that he claims to be, is one of the best men under the 
 sun ; but while that is the case, the one who is not what 
 he pretends to be, is one of the very worst, because he is 
 a hypocrite, iand hypocrites in the church do much harm, be- 
 cause weak-minded skeptics or infidels are always pointing 
 to the hypocrites in the church. They make capital of the 
 
 94
 
 fact that there are some hypocrites in the church, but they 
 fail to realize that there are many more hypocrites out of the 
 church than in it. 
 
 The minister I wish to write about is a true Christian. 
 He is all that he pretends to be. Nearly forty years ago 
 he began his work in the ministry, and has moved stead- 
 fastly onward ever since. The first severe ordeal or test 
 of his faithfulness occurred soon after he enlisted in his 
 campaign for the Lord. He was yet in his teens. He had 
 a small brother whom he desired to have follow his own 
 example. One day, he and his little brother, Willie, took 
 the dog and an axe, and went out to catch a rabbit for sup- 
 per. Soon the dog began smelling and barking at an old 
 hollow tree, and this young preacher lost no time in chop- 
 ping, a hole in the tree, so as to reach in and take the rabbit 
 out with ease to both himself and the rabbit, at the same 
 time remarking. "Willie, we are sure of a rabbit this time." 
 Soon he had a hole large enough to admit his hand and witli- 
 draw his innocent victim. He reached down and puf his 
 hand on what he was sure was the tender form of a gentle 
 rabbit, saying, '*I feel his little head. He acts like he is 
 trying to bite ; but rabbits never bite." Just then the young 
 divine jerked his arm and hand out of the tree and an old 
 o'possum was hanging to his finger. It liad fastened its 
 sharp teeth so firmly into his hand that he could not re- 
 lease himself from its terrible grasp. The dog seized the 
 vermin by the hind legs and pulled with all h's might while 
 little Willie stood by hissing the dog on by slapping h's 
 little hands. The minister did not lose presence of mind, 
 nor fail to control his temper, but rolling his very large 
 brown eyes upward, exclaimed, "Oh, Lord, we now invoke 
 Thy aid and will be very thankful if Thou wilt make a 
 little more haste than usual." Just then the dog caught 
 ihe opossum around the ribs, and its jaws came unlocked. 
 The minister never manifested the least disposition to anger, 
 but he skinned, carved, cooked, ate and digested that un- 
 fortunate animal with more relish than anything he had 
 ever tackled before. 
 
 95
 
 A CALF STORY. 
 
 BY A WOMAN. 
 
 While conversing with a prominent lady of Oklahoma 
 City recently she related the following story, but requested 
 that her name be withheld in case the story is printed, on 
 account of her respect for her father: 
 
 "I was raised in Cass County, Mo. My father was a 
 farmer and owned several milch cows, and had a large 
 family of boys and girls to do the milking. It was cus- 
 tomary for the small boys to ride the calves as soon as they 
 were large enough to jump around and make it interest- 
 ing. One of the calves was a very strong fellow, and the 
 boys were unable to manage him, but they would not cease 
 trying. AVhile we were milking one evening, after dark 
 had overtaken us, father came to see why we remained 
 so late, and brought a lantern to light his path. He was 
 lecturing two of my brothers for tormenting the calves when 
 this unruly calf suddenly jerked loose from one of the boys 
 and made a lunge to get away. In doing so. he ran under 
 father, who was tall and slender, and father lodged on top 
 of the calf's shoulders. The calf became terribly frightened 
 at the lantern which was on father's arm, and it dashed 
 off, bucking and bawling, down the slant at a rapid rate. 
 From the light of the lantern, we could tell that father v/as 
 staying on top, in fact, he was afraid to try to jump off, till 
 he knew that the frightened calf was nearing a wire fence. 
 Then he tumbled to one side, and let the calf go on. Father 
 was not hurt, except his feelings, but he came back to the 
 gate in search of the boys, but instinct had informed my 
 brothers that it was better to vacate that spot for the 
 present. Father was usually kind to his children, and never 
 resorted to corporal punishment, except in extreme cases, 
 and then, if the matter was postponed a few hours, he 
 would neglect it entirely. This was an emergency case. 
 
 96
 
 however, and the boys knew it, so they remained absent 
 until the next day. We supposed that they slept in the barn 
 loft that night/' 
 
 The above story, as related by this lady, a farmer's 
 daughter, has the melody of truth about it, and in perfect 
 harmony I hear all say, "It is true." What farmer boy cannot 
 recall when he rode the calves contrary to the will of his 
 parents? Well does the writer remember when he rode 
 everything from the old turkey gobbler up to the wildest 
 mules, including the fretful ox, the squealing pig, the panting 
 dog, the butting ram, the bucking pony, and everything 
 else that wore four feet. By this expression I do not in- 
 tend to convey the idea that the turkey gobbler had four 
 feet. 
 
 "A NICE MUT-TING." 
 
 When a boy, I was more bashful than the average. My 
 dear mother was so. cautious and affectionate toward her 
 children, that she would not allow them out of her sight 
 long at a time, and we had but little opportunity to get ac- 
 quainted with the things of this world, and were not ready 
 to enter any other. I tell you the truth when I say that 
 I was never out of sight of my mother two days at any one 
 time till after I was over twenty-one years of age. I never 
 learned to swim, because, when I wanted to try, she" would 
 make me promise to not go near the water. With such 
 restrictions, I was bound to be timid and bashful, but when 
 about twenty years old, I managed, in some way, to fall 
 partly in love with a little school miss, and had I not met 
 with an accident, I may have fallen all the way, because 
 my mother admired the little teacher, and tha't was greatly 
 in my favor, for I'had but little opportunity to make love 
 to a girl whom mother did not like. At that time, I did 
 
 97
 
 not know the first step toward courtship, but could stand and 
 grin occasionally while the girl did the sparking. Mollie 
 had taught a few country schools, and knew more than the 
 average girl of that day and time. She could say many 
 funny things that interested me, and as green as I was, I 
 could see that she did not intend every thing she said for 
 an idle joke. Soon I noticed that Mollie's father was greatly 
 interested in me, and I also noticed that my mother was 
 taking as much interest in Mollie. So things were be- 
 ginning to ''kinda jingle," and I didn't care if they did, 
 for I felt able to stand all that they might wish to thrust 
 upon me of that nature. 
 
 One warm Saturday Mollie's father sent word to my 
 mother that he and his daughter would spend Sunday with 
 us. Mother came to me and said: "Johnny, son; Mollie' 
 and her father are coming to spend Sunday with us, and we 
 ought to have a nice, fat lamb for dinner. Can you go and 
 find one and dress it?" "Yes, I'll try," I replied. Our 
 sheep roamed in the forest for two miles around, and it was 
 no little task to bring one in on a hot day, but I took a hand- 
 ful of salt in a rag, and started out. and found some of our 
 best sheep about one mile from home. I called to them, 
 and let them taste the salt, but some one had evidently 
 given them all the salt they wanted, for not one would fol- 
 low me. Then I tried to drive them, and that was a failure 
 also. So, as a last resort, I selected a nice fat one. and 
 
 iff-w all my salt on the ground in one pile, and as they 
 gathered around it, I grabbed my choice and held onto him. 
 I first tried to lead it but that was impossible, and I saw 
 no way to get that sheep home except to carry it, and that 
 was a job for a boy my size. But Mollie must have her 
 mutton, and I had the courage to furnish it. So I grasped 
 the sheep around the body, and with much effort, threw 
 it onto my shoulder, when with a hump, a flounce and a 
 few kicks, it tore the entire back of my shirt out at the 
 yoke, which fell down behind me like an apron, and with its 
 sharp toes my back was ploughed up unmercifully. I could 
 not stand this, and turned the thing over so its feet would 
 be upward ; then it caught the rim of my hat, which was 
 braided of straw, and with a terrible kick, tore the entire 
 
 98
 
 rim off the crown, and it fell down around my neck, but 
 I did not take time to fix it. I kept the sheep up there just 
 the same, but did not keep my temper down entirely. I 
 went home in that condition, and at the barn seized 
 an axe, and cut that sheep's head off at one swipe, and had 
 the hide off by the time it quit kicking. Then, with hat- 
 rim still around my neck, and the back of my shirt re- 
 versed, exposing by lacerated back, I carried the fresh meat 
 to a bench at our kitchen door, and began to carve it into 
 pieces to suit, when I thought, "Oh ! What if JNIollie should 
 see me in this condition?" Just then I heard a sweet voice 
 ring out behind me, "A nice mut-ting!" I looked around, 
 and behold, it was Mollie ! They had come on Saturday 
 instead of waiting till Sunday. They remained over and en- 
 joyed their "mut-ting," but I could not raise a grin, nor 
 speak a word. That was their last visit. I saw them a few 
 times after that, but could not get started just right, and had 
 to content myself with the echo, "A nice mut-ting." 
 
 ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. 
 
 The following dialogue took place in my presence while 
 a member of the Board of Examining Surgeons for Pensions 
 at Rolla, Mo., in 1891 ; 
 
 Secretary (to applicant) — Do you cough much ? 
 
 Applicant — Yes, sir, a great deal. 
 
 Secretary — Do you expectorate anything? 
 
 Applicant — Yes, sir, I do. 
 
 Secretary — What do you expectorate? 
 
 Applicant (earnestly) — If I get justice I expect to rate 
 about $30 per month. 
 
 A SERIOUS MISTAKE. 
 
 Owing to my high esteem and warm friendship for the 
 parties concerned in the following incident, I hesitate to 
 
 99
 
 repeat it ; but since it is most too good to keep, and can do 
 no one any, harm, I will give the facts in brief. 
 
 I was sitting in the office of one of the hotels in a Mis- 
 souri town, when a boy entered and exclaimed : "Sally 
 has bursted !" A strange physician who had just arrived 
 seeking a new location, turned to me and asked : "What 
 was the matter with that young lady?" I asked him, what 
 lady? He then said, "The young lady who that boy said 
 had bursted — it is Miss Sallie — somebody." I then saw the 
 point, and explained to him that a very prominent business 
 man of the town by the name of Sally had failed in busi- 
 ness, bursted financially. The new doctor apologized, but 
 the joke spread and was repeated so much in his presence 
 that he sought "a location elsewhere. 
 
 A SURE SHOT. 
 
 Mrs. S. — Pray tell me what to put in my son's ear. He 
 has been suffering with earache three days? 
 
 Mrs. W. — Take oil of spike and laudanum. I have had 
 two husbands and three children to die with earache, and 
 I always use oil of spike and laudanum. 
 
 Physician (To a quack doctor) — Have you ever had a case 
 of cerebral thrombosis? 
 
 Quack Doctor — Yes, I had a severe attack in my own 
 bowels once. 
 
 Physician (To quack doctor) — Have you had much exper- 
 ience with phlegmasia alba dolens? 
 
 Quack Doctor— Oh! Certainly! I have given it in hundreds 
 of cases.
 
 DON'T BE AFRAID. 
 
 J. L. S. 
 
 Oh ! what if I should die, 
 
 And my spirit take its flight? 
 
 And this is sure to be, for I 
 
 Must pass through death's dark night. 
 
 How soon this change may be, 
 
 No one can just now tell; 
 But it is plain to see, 
 
 We must bid all farewell. 
 
 But when I am thus gone. 
 
 Will such thing ever be. 
 That friends who knew me long, 
 
 Will* be afraid of me? 
 
 When my body has to die, 
 Will those who love me most. 
 
 Still wish my spirit nigh. 
 
 Or be frightened at my ghost? 
 
 All friends I cheerfully greet, 
 
 And I promise this is true : 
 Should you my ghostship meet, 
 
 It will do no harm to you. 
 
 Should you by fancy chance to be 
 
 Viewing my spirit fair. 
 Just go at once and plainly see 
 
 That no such thing is there. 
 
 We hear of many ghosts though, 
 But no harm has been done, 
 
 Since the world began to go. 
 By such things to anyone.
 
 HOW I PLAYED GHOST. 
 
 BY HENRY W. ROBY, M. D., SECRETARY STATE BOARD OF MEDICAL 
 REGISTRATION AND EXAMINATION, TOPEKA, KANS. 
 
 I never played ghost but once and then I came off sec- 
 ond best. This is how it happened : 
 
 Dr. Wm. Hoefer of Harmony township. Morrow county, 
 Ohio, lived on one of my grandfather's farms and had one 
 very serious failing, he loved his grog better than any sailor 
 I ever knew, and in time common whiskey became entirely 
 too mild a drink for him and he abandoned that for what is 
 known out West as "white horse" — pure alcohol. He could 
 carry a tremendous load of it and still keep his feet. When 
 sober he was a very skillful physician and was admired by 
 almost everybody for his genial and kindly ways. 
 
 As far back as I can remember, it was the custom of 
 my grandfather to have a big Christmas dinner every year 
 and have all his children and grandchildren come home to 
 the old capacious farm house for a good time, and a con- 
 tinuous feast of apples, doughnuts, cider, walnuts, chest- 
 nuts, hickory nuts and many other good things, and being 
 the family physician Dr. Hoefer was for many years one 
 of the Christmas guests of my grandfather. 
 
 A young uncle of mine, not much older than myself. 
 often said he would like to scare Dr. Hoefer out of his cups 
 and make a sober man of him. and on the occasion I speak of 
 his impulse culminated in action. 
 
 Just before the party broke up for the night he called 
 me out into the kitchen and asked me to join him in the 
 play of ghost, when the old doctor started home. It seemed 
 an auspicious occasion, for the good old esculapian had vis- 
 ited the kitchen close to a dozen time that evening and 
 made way with large quantities of his favorite stimulant, 
 and was very mellow and wobbly by the time the party 
 broke up.
 
 In going home he had to cross a 40-acre woodlot by a 
 diagonal cow path through a dense growth of beech, hickory, 
 ash and chestnut timber. A light snow had fallen that af- 
 ternoon and the woodlot was a scene of white beauty ill the 
 moon light. 
 
 When we saw the doctor getting ready to start we se- 
 cured a couple of sheets and ran on ahead into the timber, 
 and robed ourselves in white and waited his appearance. 
 We planted ourselves in his pathway and soon heard him 
 coming, talking to himself, as was his custom when alone 
 with a "jag" on. When he saw us he stopped and ex- 
 claimed: "Got in Himmel! Vat ish dot? Hoefer you vas 
 trunk, odher dot vas a ghost." He stood a mioment in si- 
 lence, and then said : "Veil, I find oud." Then in a louder 
 voice he said, "Voo yo vas? Vos you mine fadder or mine 
 mutter? Fadder! Mutter! Could you not speak or how? 
 If you vos mine fadder and mine mutter, speak mit me! 
 Could 3^ou not speak or how?" 
 
 You may be sure we wanted to speak, but we did not 
 dare to. and it was hard to keep from breaking out in a 
 roar of laughter. But we kept on with our witche's dance, 
 at a respectful distance from the old doctor, and managed 
 to keep silent. Then, as he quit the path and started towards 
 us, we heard him say, "I find me out vot dot vas !" Then 
 stopping suddenly, he said, "Veil, of you vas not mine fad- 
 der or mine mutter, und you don't could speak, I dink I 
 know vot you vas! I dink you vos an olt cow mit a calf!" 
 
 Then he gave a long, loud groan in an abusive tone and 
 turned back into the footpath and went on his way, ignor- 
 ing us entirely. 
 
 After he had gone, we went back to the house not as 
 hilarious and triumphant as we had hoped to be, and that 
 was the last time I ever attempted the role of a ghost. 
 
 103
 
 MY FIRST TOOTH-PULL BY A HORSE. 
 
 A TRUE STORY. BY DR. MICHAEL MASON. MfSKEGON. MICH. 
 
 As I was cantering near the meadow of Alonzo Story 
 where four men were making hay, I was hailed by one of 
 the men and requested to halt, which I did. All of the men 
 hurriedly approached me. "Dr. Mason, I believe?" I an- 
 swered, "Your conclusion is correct." 
 
 "Do you pull teeth?" 
 
 "I can," was my reply, "but I extract teeth.'' 
 
 ''What is the difference," was asked. 
 
 I said pulling was 50 cents and extracting was a dollar 
 
 He said, "I will have it pulled, I am not stuck on these 
 new fangled fancy jobs." 
 
 "Very well," I told him, "come up and let me see the 
 tooth." 
 
 So he mounted an eight-rail fence, threw up his head and 
 I rode my horse up to the fence with forceps in hand, 
 which he did not expect to see. "Second upper grinder, 
 left side." 
 
 I hastily hooked on, at the same moment he threw up 
 both hands, scared my horse, then pulled back vigorously. 
 I had* the tooth, galloped away saying, "I will await your 
 good time to settle." 
 
 . He said, "By the Eternal, I will never have another 
 tooth pulled. I will pay a dollar and have a fancy job 
 done." He said the job was done quick and well, but he 
 was pulled head first over an eight-rail fence and he thought 
 his neck was broken for at least a minute or two. I was told 
 afterward that there was a laughing bee for an hour after I 
 left. 
 
 Mr. Story was all right on my return an hour later and 
 blamed himself for scaring my horse and paid his bill with 
 thanks. I became his family doctor for twenty years after. 
 
 104
 
 THE BATTLE OF LIFE. 
 
 THE CHARRIOT, CRAWFOKDSVILLE, IND. 
 
 Our conceptions of human life varies with our position and 
 experience. Much depends upon the lens through which we 
 view the mighty panorama of life, as it glides before our 
 vision. To one, life is a "Vale of Tears." His ear is turned 
 only to the undertones of sorrow and compl'aint, his whole 
 system is saturated with his, and other people's woes. He 
 is never so happy as when very miserable. To another, life 
 is a "Pilgrimage to a better country", and his joyful refrain 
 is, "I would not live alway", and his great hapipiness is the 
 thought that each day brings him nearer to the "better 
 country". Another is overwhelmed with the brevity of life, 
 and sadness of the thought shuts out the sunshine of the 
 happy present. In another, "life is a game" and only the 
 skillful players win, to such, life is a brief gala day in which 
 to "Eat, drink and be merry, since tomorrow we die." 
 
 But to the true man and woman, life is a great battle, a 
 mighty struggle, and each one is a soldier. Into this service 
 we did not voluntarily enlist, but were drafted into the con- 
 flict, and cannot escape taking- part in it. We cannot choose 
 our place in the ranks but must fill the places assigned us, 
 whether we will or not. We cannot furnish a substitute ; we 
 ■ may desert, or stagger to the rear, during lifes conflicts, or go 
 over to the enemy and enlist under the black flag of wrong, 
 but the fact will always remain that we are drafted, early 
 in life, into the grand battle of life and must fight for right, 
 for honor, for God, or sink beneath the onward march of the 
 forces for good, and be trampled under their feet. 
 
 Wliile it is true that we have all been drafted, yet it is 
 equally true that in our hands are the forces that, wisely 
 directed, will bring happiness and joy amid the fiercest battle 
 of life. ' If our vision be enlarged until we can see clearly our 
 duty ; if our hands are willing to aid, and our feet swift to 
 carry help and comfort to the suffering; if our ears are at- 
 
 105
 
 turned to the cry of the stricken souls and our souls are filled 
 with "the love that passeth understanding", then will life 
 become to us a great battle for good, for right, for humanity, 
 and we will gladly, willingly and courageously be found in 
 the forefront of every conflict, helping, cheering and leading 
 on to victorv. 
 
 AN ACTlJAL AND RECENT EXPERIENCE. 
 
 BY MAURICE J. LEWI, M. D., SECRETARY STATE BOARD OF MEDICAL 
 EXAMINERS OP NEW YORK. 
 
 Mrs. S., a patient, and wife of a physician, being dissat- 
 isfied with her first nurse, is provided with another, who 
 reached the sick room contemporaneously with a message 
 from the attending physician. The patient greets the nurse, 
 bids her to prepare for her duties, and hurriedly proceeds to 
 open the missive. The letter is a note assuring the patient 
 that an examination of her urine shows no kidney lesion; 
 there being but one abnormal product in excess, towit : 
 urates. Turning to the nurse the patient says : "Nurse, 
 what are urates?" Twenty dollars per week when serving 
 in a physician's family; but to others, $25," came the prompt 
 reply. 
 
 A PREACHER TEMPTED BY A STUBBORN CALF. 
 
 BY C. W. S.. M. D.. OP VERMONT. 
 
 Elder Thom of Cloverdale, was at one time a bright, 
 ambitious clergyman (now invalided and banished by his 
 physicians to the country for his health), who had had a 
 stormy youth, but had later learned to control his fiery ebu- 
 litions of spirit largely by the help of his calling. There 
 were, however, notwithstanding the above-mentioned help, 
 "bilious lapses" when the herd grass and daisies waltzed 
 together, when the sun stood still, when his pent-up wrath 
 
 106
 
 poured forth in luxurious and satisfying- outpour, not al- 
 together orthodox. 
 
 The elder's family consisted of his wife and two grown- 
 up children. They occupied a neat white cottage, the par- 
 sonage, as necessary adjuncts to which were the usual out- 
 buildings. 
 
 In order to get the full benefit of country life, Elder Thorn 
 had purchased a cow. which in due time had multiplied 
 herself so that now the worthy man had upon his hands 
 the task of teaching the nursling calf how to procure its 
 food in a manner less agreeable to it, though more profit- 
 able to the cow's other dependents. In this task the elder 
 had met with exasperatingly indifferent results thus far,' 
 but had kept "sweet," much to his credit. ITpon this par- 
 ticular Sunday morning, however, the "last straw^' was to 
 be added, the "gates" were to be '^loosed," the whirlwind 
 of his indignation was to sweep in mighty waves to its 
 record. 
 
 The bell of the little church was pealing its first invita- 
 tion, and the elder, engaged in putting the finishing touches 
 on his immaculate toilet, had adjusted his silk hat and taken 
 books and cane in hand, preparatory to starting out, when 
 suddenly, the voice of Mrs. Thom, with its henpecking, 
 dismayful, imperative yet gentle tone, fell upon his startled 
 senses : "John, you have not yet fed the calf." What should 
 he do? Expostulations would be in vain. A despairing 
 glance at the clock, another at his clothes, a lightning 
 calculation as to available time, then a sudden reckless de- 
 termination. With exceedingly careful swiftness, he strode 
 toward, seized and carried the half-filled milk pail to the 
 barn and bleating calf. Cautiously approaching the animal 
 and placing the pail before her. he called most soothingly 
 and wheedlingly: "Come. Bossy, Bossy. Bossy. Bossy; so- 
 o-o-ooo, so-o-o-ooo ; drink your m^ilk. little Bossy ,^ etc. 
 
 But Bossy had become somewhat awed by the clerical 
 appearance of the elder — never having been to church — and 
 so she backed away from the pail and elder, uj-) into a 
 corner. 
 
 This exasperating evolution brought the elder up to the 
 very verge of anger. Maneuvering around he reached 
 
 107
 
 the side of the calf, and tried to induce it to drink by hold- 
 ing the pail up to its nose ; but, no, drink it would not. Then 
 placing his disengaged hand upon Bossy's head, the elder 
 tried to gently force its nose into the milk — just as the last 
 bell began to toll. The result of this move was that the 
 calf, with a lunge and a flirt of its head, threw a whole 
 shower of milk all over the now infuriated elder's Sunday 
 clothes. 
 
 Throwing all prudence to the winds, he vaulted 
 across the animal's neck, grasped both its ears, and shouted 
 (while vigorously plunging the calf's nose down into the 
 pail, over and over again) : 'Tf it was "not for the glory of 
 
 God and this holy day. I'd jam your head into 
 
 the bucket so that it would never come out asfain." 
 
 THE WORLD'S DEBT TO SURGERY. 
 
 BY HENRY W. ROBY, M. I)., TOPEKA, KANSAS. 
 
 The debts of the world are not all municipal, state and 
 national. And they do not all represent cash advanced, nor 
 a promise to pay in gold. Some debts cannot be represented 
 by the dollar mark, nor by pounds, shilling and pence marks. 
 There are some debts of the world that cannot be settled by 
 kreutzers, nor rupees, nor pfennigs, nor yen, nor kopecks. 
 And the world's debt to surgery is such a debt. Neither 
 gold nor silver, nor houses, nor lands, nor titles, nor insignia 
 of rank can ever requite the debt. Tt is incurred amid ca- 
 lamity and blood, but even calamity and blood cannot dis- 
 charge it. Only the deepest and tenderest gratitude of the 
 race can in any wise balance the account the recording angel 
 is keeping in the matter. And what kind of transactions do 
 these great items of debt grow out of? 
 
 If you will climb the Pisgah heights of history and take 
 a rapid survey of the world, you will be amazed beyond 
 expression at the kinds, amount and qualities of good that 
 surgery has done for mankind, and the unending sacrafices it 
 
 1 08
 
 has made for the race. And when history balks and refuses 
 to carry you back to the beginning, you must do as the Mo- 
 saic account of creation does, you must call on imagina- 
 tion, and take wing to the morning of the race, and see what 
 reason and inductive philosophy can teach you of primitive 
 and pre-historic conditions. 
 
 I have endeavored, as far as possible, to beat back that 
 great ^ black wall of shadow^s that lifts and looms between 
 us and the primordial days of the world, and to obtain the 
 very earliest scrap of surgical history to be had. 
 
 The Bible is generally considered to be a very respect- 
 able old book. It was the first book printed from movable 
 types. The first chapter of Genesis purports to give its 
 earliest events 4.004 years before Christ. But I find the re- 
 cord of a work on anatomy written by Athothis, the son of 
 Menes, who reigned in Egypt fifty-two and a half centuries 
 before Christ. And in the papyrus Ebers. written fifteen and 
 one-half centuries before Christ, there are many recipes and 
 prescriptions that are said by the author of that work to 
 have been very ancient at that early day, so that I must 
 conclude that if age and experience confer respectability, 
 surgery is very respectable. The surgeon seems to have 
 been out making an early call at the daybreak of the cen- 
 turies. 
 
 The Mosaic account of the morning of life tells us that 
 in Adam's time surgery had already reached a very high de- 
 gree of development. You all recall that glowing account 
 of resection and thoracoplasty, and how perfectly the an- 
 aesthesia worked. Starting there, let your minds take in the 
 march of events, while the world passes in grand review 
 before you. 
 
 The column has not gone beyond the gates of begin- 
 ning until some adventurous fellow falls from the tree he 
 had climbed to see the parade, and breaks the first bone of 
 the race. But primitive surgery has already lapsed, and 
 there is no member of the profession to attend him. He 
 roars with his pains, and his fellows stand aghast at the 
 sight of the crooked and helpless limb. He is dragged to 
 the shade of an olive tree and left with his weeping mother. 
 
 109
 
 In time the pain subsides, but the lameness compels him to 
 be quiet, and in a month he begins to use the crippled mem- 
 ber, and later he goes on his way rejoicing, and the world 
 incurs no debt to surgery, but it learns something. It learns 
 that a bone may be broken, and that it may be restored to 
 continuity and strength. And when it is seen that the limb 
 is crooked and shorter than its fellow, reflection informs 
 the wise among them that if that limb had been kept more 
 quiet and in a straight position it would have been a better 
 member. And when the next fellow is found with a broken 
 limb he is kept quiet and the limb adjusted and kept more 
 nearly in line, and a better result is obtained. x*\nd the two 
 are set side by side and comparisons made. And from that 
 day rest and position are ordered for broken bones, and we 
 continue that prescription to-day. And some brave, sym- 
 pathetic fellow who assisted in watching both cases, con- 
 cludes that better results can be had in the next case, so he 
 offers his services and suggestions for the behoof of the next 
 victim. But in that case the bones overlap and a bad case 
 of deformity follows. He reasons that it is some sort of con- 
 traction, and in the next case he ties the foot to a tree and 
 the body to a stake, and extension is inaugurated with bet- 
 ter results, and we continue to apply extension to-day. 
 
 We look back and see the neighbors gather around that 
 man and hear them say: "You are a wise man, and you 
 shall have an extra tree of oilves set apart for your special 
 use." And thus the first debt of surgery is paid in kind, while 
 the debt of gratitude which began there has gone on aug- 
 menting and piling up until now it fills the whole vast dome 
 of the sky, and the theologians tell us they are making room 
 in Heaven for the surplus. 
 
 L^ndoubtedly bone surgery was the first of all surgery 
 aiuong men. And it was not so very long before bright, in- 
 quisitive men began to discuss the matter among themselves 
 and their neighbors. And one morning as a lot of them sat 
 under a great date palm in the Lybian desert, and the dis- 
 cussion became unusually heated, an old fellow wound up by 
 saying, "You men may talk all you please, but I'm going 
 to know. I'm going to cut a dead man up and find out all 
 about h"s bones."
 
 "Not on your life !" said the old priest from the temple 
 of Osiris, who had been listening; "the human body is sacred 
 and the Osiris will strike you dead if you attempt it. The 
 soul must reinhabit the body, and that is why every Egyptian 
 is emablmed to keep his body till the soul calls for it. No, 
 you cannot cut any dead bodies to find out about a few 
 bones." 
 
 And thus arose the first conflict between knowledge and 
 superstition, between science and religion, and the clash 
 of that old contest is still resounding through the passing- 
 century. x\nd while superstition still lingers and carries on 
 a guerilla warfare in many of the old temples and kingdoms, 
 surgery has won its battle and given the world the science 
 of anatomy founded on dissection so long and fiercely for- 
 bidden. 
 
 We talked learnedly about the seventeen years' war, and 
 the thirty years' war, as if they were very long struggles be- 
 tween right and wrong. But here is a battle that lasted for 
 centuries, and its partisians are not all dead yet. 
 
 How much do you say the world owes to surgery for 
 pressing that battle all along the line for over a thousand 
 years, that the very men who opposed anatomical knowl- 
 edge and their descendants might have the benefit of it? 
 
 Therein lies one item of the great debt the world owes 
 to surgerv. The gates of superstition, behind which stood 
 all pagan and Christian religion, had to be beaten down be- 
 fore science could engrave and ])rint the truth, and surgery 
 had to fight for centuries before it had a single statute be- 
 hind it to back it up. though it was tolerated in many parts 
 of the world and bitterly assailed almost everywhere. 
 
 In 1540 the English Parliament enacted the first statute 
 legalizing dissections. That act provided that four crim- 
 als a year should be given to the United Companies of Bar- 
 bers and Surgeons for dissection. And some time after that, 
 legislative zeal reached the point of providing that, certain 
 other criminals might be handed over for dissection, on con- 
 dition that one or more of them should be publicly dissected 
 each year.
 
 Surgery fought and won another great battle in those 
 ancient times. The first considerable number of men in the 
 world to give any attention to the injured were the priests 
 — priests of Juno, Minerva, Jupiter, Saturn, priests of Thor 
 and Woden, and later the priests of Rome and Judea. In 
 this practice they held a large monopoly until the Romish 
 Council of Tours, in 1163, finally forbade the practice of sur- 
 gery by all its clergy. Down to that time there had been a 
 great and continuous contest for the mastery in the field of 
 surgery between the lay-surgeons and the clerical surgeons. 
 But in that edict clerical surgery received its death warrant 
 and quit 
 
 In the meantime lay-surgery fought and won another 
 long battle with the barber-surgeons. As soon as men be- 
 gan to cut hair and trim or shave the beard (from motives 
 not pertinent to be discussed here), the barbers' guild came 
 into existence. And they soon began to dress wounds and 
 to bleed people, for phlebotomy got an early start in the 
 world, and its sign and symbol still cling to the barber pole 
 today. And from wound dressing and bleeding they soon 
 pitched their tents over the whole field of surgery claiming 
 the right of eminent domain by reason of royal decrees and 
 favors. And in that first act of Parliament legalizing dis- 
 section it was decreed that half the criminals to be dissected 
 should go to the barber surgeons. And when an epidemic 
 of the plague broke out in France in 1383. Charles V. or- 
 dered a detail of four physicians, two surgeons and six bar- 
 bers to visit the sick and treat them at public expense. 
 
 Imagine a man at the end of the nineteenth century go- 
 ing to a barber shop for a hair cut, a shampoo, a shave and 
 a laparotomy or a cranial section, at the hands of the same 
 artist. That was the custom among men only six hundred 
 years ago. And the wiping out of that old incongruity is 
 one of the items we must list in the world's debt to surgery. 
 That was in the midst of the so-called "Dark Ages," when 
 
 "One vast eclipse the human mind o'erspread. 
 And learning slumbered with the mighty dead." 
 
 x\nd now standing at the end of the nineteenth century 
 we can, by the aid of historical lights, trace, the pathway of
 
 surgery in the world for over seventy centuries, and see it 
 always assaulting the camps and columns of wrong and ig- 
 norance and superstition. No mightier or more prolonged 
 contest was ever waged on the planet than the battle of sur- 
 gery. Long years with priest-craft, long years with witch- 
 craft, long years with barber-surgeon-craft, long centuries 
 with innate fear and unparalleled horror of its inevitable 
 pains and punishments, and through all ages, battling with 
 ignorance and all kinds of quackery and charlatanry. And 
 every time a new light is set in any window of the great 
 temple of science, surgery is seen catching its first gleams 
 and appropriating to the service of mankind every benefac- 
 tion, either direct or collateral, that may be revealed bv that 
 light. 
 
 Take a peep over the shoulder of the. recording angel 
 who has charge of the surgical record, and you shall read 
 amid a rapid turning of the leaves headings and sub-head- 
 ings that rea'd in this wise : 
 
 "Broken bones ; coaptation, rest, splints, extension, re- 
 section for non-union, asepsis, X-ray." 
 
 "Wounds inflicted by animals, enemies and accidents; 
 styptics, soothing lotions, cleansing irrigations, approxima- 
 tion of rent edges; healing without pus sometimes; healing 
 without pus a majority of times, and finally substantially, all 
 times." 
 
 "False growths gradually individualized and classified. 
 Removed with ever increasing success and safety, cancer 
 and leprosy only left to greatly baffle us." 
 
 "^Abdominal section, from the days of Praxagoras down, 
 gastrectomy, splenectomy, nephrectomy, alimentary anas- 
 tomoses, hysterectomy, ovariotomy," with details all follow- 
 ing in orderly succession. 
 
 "Cranio-section ; trephining, removing tumors, clots and 
 foreign bodies." 
 
 "Many operations on tlie eye. brought down from em- 
 pirical experimentation to scientific accuracy and certainty." 
 
 "Thoraco-section ; ribs resected, pus cavities evacuated ; 
 necrotic lungs excised and diseased ones cleansed." 
 
 "3
 
 "Unscheduled progress in orthopedics ; talipes correct- 
 ed ; crooked spines straightened : anchyloses overcome ; bow- 
 legs straightened, and splay-feet set on elastic arches." 
 
 "Obstetric operations manifold and masterly; men born 
 as Caesar was, and mothers saved, as Anrelia, the beautiful 
 Roman, was.'^ 
 
 In that fierce passage-at-arms between Macbeth and 
 Macduff. Shakespeare disj^lays his knowledge of the sur- 
 geon's art in this wise : 
 
 "Macbeth — 'Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests; 
 
 I bear a charmed life, which must not yield. 
 To one of woman born.' " 
 
 "^Macduff — 'Despair thy charm ; 
 
 And let the angel whom thou still hast served 
 Tell thee. Macduff was from his mother's womb 
 untimely ripp'd.' " 
 
 And even the great Shakespeare had no conception of 
 fast approaching surgical trium])hs when he ])ut these sug- 
 gestive words in the mouth of lago : 
 
 "Not poppy, nor mandragora, nor all the drowsy, syrups 
 of the world, shall ever medicine thee to that sweet sleep 
 which thou owaiedst yesterday." 
 
 Those "drowsy syrups of the world" were but the har- 
 bingers of the world's greatest boon, after life itself. 
 
 ANAESTHESIA. 
 
 What a day of rejoicing this world would have known. 
 If all men from the clown to the king on his throne 
 
 Could have sat in that dingy, old hospital room. 
 
 'Mid the silence and horror, and danger and gloom. 
 And have seen that first case of sweet dreaming and sleep, 
 While the glittering knife was thrust slant-wise and deep 
 
 114
 
 Into slumbering tissues, and time and again, 
 'llirust in without waking the Demon of Pain; 
 While up to that day. through the pain-burdened years, 
 Xo man had been found who could master his fears, 
 And hand himself over, his body and life. 
 To the dangers and agonies born of the knife. 
 Up to that gravid morn, had the world stood aghast 
 At the horrors that haunted all men to the last. 
 
 As they saw the Pain-Demon, with death in his touch, 
 Hold strong men and feeble alike in his clutch ; 
 And rack them and rent them, unheeding their cry 
 Echoed back as in scorn from the pitiless sky. 
 
 But on that mighty day, from the throne of the world 
 The king of affliction was hurried and hurled. 
 Making way ior another with kindlier face 
 And deeper concern for the good of the race. 
 
 "King Somnus," men cry. and their laudations ring, 
 "Dethroned is the Demon: exalted the King!'' 
 He comes to the child that in agony screams. 
 And tickles its fancy w^ith beautiful dreams : 
 
 And soothes the care-laden and agonized man. 
 Abating the dangers and risks that he ran ; 
 And stands by sweet womanhood, ready to vouch 
 For less thorny pilloAvs on motherhood's couch ; 
 
 And he gives of his bounty a blessing, hand-free. 
 To all of pain's victims by land and by sea, 
 And calls to all men, on the height, on the deep. 
 ^'Forget now thy anguish and sleep .sweetly sleep !" 
 
 Did you ever stop to think how much greater and more 
 beneficent is the gift of anaesthesia than the gift of gun- 
 powder to the world? With the aid of anaesthesia and an- 
 tisepsis, the nineteenth century has made more real progress 
 in surgery than all the centuries that have gone before. And 
 for these two incomparable benefactions alone the world's 
 debt to surgerv is inestimable. 
 
 115
 
 IN WAR. 
 
 Now take your field-glass and survey the sanguinary 
 plains of the planet and tell me, if you can, of some land 
 where the red tide of battle has not poured through its hill- 
 gaps. You will not live long enough to count all the world's 
 battlefields, but scan them as you may, and you will stand 
 aghast at the record of their needs for the undertaker and 
 the surgeon. Turn your gaze to the plains of Eastern Asia. 
 There at the head of more than a million men rides the great 
 Zinghis, who boasts just before his death, that he has slain 
 more than five million of his foes and overrun a fourth of the 
 planet. Turn to the Empire of the Califs and see that great 
 pyramid, not the one built by Cheops on the Nile, but the 
 one built by Tamerlane, the Tartar, on the ruins of Bagdad^ 
 out of ninety thousand skulls of her citizens whom he has . 
 slain in battle. 
 
 Now turn your gaze poleward. Yonder rides Napoleon 
 towards Moscow at the head of six hundred and seventy- 
 eight thousand men, the combined armies of twenty nations ; 
 and coming out to meet him rides the Czar of all the Rus- 
 sians, while the plains and hills behind him are black with 
 his swarming followers. But Napoleon rides on into Mos- 
 cow, after stretching sevent}^ thousand men in death on the 
 great plain. As your gaze swings back let it rest on Water- 
 loo, where, 
 
 "Last noon beheld them full of lusty life. 
 
 Last eve in beauty's circle proudly gay. 
 The midnight brought the signal sound of strife. 
 
 The morn the marshalling in arms — the day 
 Battles magnificently — stern away 
 
 The thunder-clouds closed o'er it, which, when rent 
 The earth is covered thick with other clay. 
 
 Which her own clay shall cover, heaped and pent. 
 
 Rider and horse, friend and foe, in one red burial blent !'' 
 
 ii6
 
 The trumpet sounds, and Wellinjii^ton. the victor, is 
 marching- back to camp, and Napoleon, the vanquished, has 
 fought his last battle and is fleeing to Paris. But what is 
 that new scene that is being enacted on that most san- 
 guinary field? 
 
 Let Sir Charles Bell, the great English surgeon, an- 
 swer: "This is the second Sunday after the battle and many 
 are not yet dressed. It is impossible to convey to you the 
 picture of human misery continuously before my eyes. At 
 8 o'clock a. m., I took the knife in my hand^ and continued 
 incessantly at work until seven in the evening, .and so the 
 second day and again on the third and each succeeding day. 
 All the decencies of performing surgical operations were soon 
 neglected. While I amputated one man's thigh, there lay 
 at one time thirteen, all beseeching to be taken next — one 
 full of entreaty, one calling on me to remember my promise 
 to take him, another execrating. It was a strange thing to 
 feel my clothes stiff with blood, and my arms powerless with 
 the long exertion of using the knife." 
 
 Now turn your gaze again to the East. Who is that rid- 
 ing up to Jerusalem? Titus, the Roman.- How many dead 
 does he leave in the red streets of Jerusalem on the morrow? 
 One million, one hundred thousand. How many prisoners? 
 Only seventy-nine thousand. How many wounded? God 
 only knows. Any surgeons with these great armies? Aye. 
 always. Surgeons on both sides. Surgeons saving more 
 lives than the leaders and armies are destroying. The world's 
 average is four wounded to one killed in battle. Sum up the 
 dead, multiply them by four, and see how many wounded 
 men fall to the care of the surgeons, then see what a debt 
 the world owes him on that score. 
 
 Now turn your glass to the sea. Surely, on that broad 
 expanse of blue there is no stain of blood ! Nay, but there 
 is. Yonder, at Navarino, ride at anchor one hundred and 
 twenty men of war. In four hours one-half of them have 
 gone down — sailors, soldiers, surgeons and all — and the other 
 half are crippled almost to helplessness. 
 
 At Trafalgar the morning sun looks down on twenty- 
 seven ships of the line and four frigates, with Nelson on the 
 
 117
 
 flagship, and over his head his pennant streaming- out, with 
 the motto, "England expects every man to do his duty!" 
 while over against him the same sun lights up thirty-three 
 French and Spanish ships of the line and seven frigates, with 
 Villeneuve in the flagship ; and when the sun goes down 
 Nelson is dead, France is blotted out as a naval power, Eng- 
 land is made mistress of the sea, and Trafalgar added to the 
 list of world battles, and no man knows how many were lost 
 and wounded. 
 
 "Peace is the dream of philosophers, but war is the his- 
 tory of men." The history of the- world is the history of 
 blood. And wrapped up in that history of blood is much of 
 the history of surgery, which itself is a history of blood. 
 But the blood it sheds is always beneficent blood, shed with 
 a view of saving life and limbs, and not intended to sacri- 
 fice life, as is battle-sKed blood. 
 
 IN CIVIL LIFE. 
 
 Rut, outside of armies and navies, surgery has a vast, 
 glorious field for its benefactions to the race. The mer- 
 chant fleets of all the seas have a large contingent of sur- 
 geons in service ; and marine hospitals are to be seen on al- 
 most every coast, with their surgical stafifs. 
 
 Then, again, in the transportation world, there is a mar- 
 velous network of railroads laid down like the threads of a 
 gigantic spider-web all over the dry land of the planet. And 
 most of the great systems of railways have their official hos- 
 pitals and surgeons, doing a vast work for humanity. We 
 may gain some idea of the annual railway emergencies that 
 call for surgical aid by referring- to the last annual report of 
 the Interstate Commerce Commission, which informs us that 
 last year out of a total of 227,537 railroad employees in the 
 United States, 7.123 were killed and 44,620 wounded. Every 
 
 118
 
 thirty-second man killed, and nearly every fourth man in- 
 jured and needing- the care of a surgeon. 
 
 Then, if we take into account all the lesser industries 
 and activities of life, such as the construction of great canals 
 and great buildings, mining and smelting, iron and steel 
 mills, the great foundries and machine shops ; a vast array of 
 factories making all kinds of textile fabrics; the harvest fields 
 of the world, and their incident and consecutive activities; 
 the vast fishing and hunting industries, with lumbering and 
 milling; vast local plants for steam and electric power and 
 intramural conveyance ; and a thousand, nay ten thousand, 
 other industries, all yielding their quota of accidents and in- 
 juries and demanding the skill and care of the surgeon, we 
 shall broaden our view of the world's debt to surgery. 
 
 Then, when we survey the grand panorama of life in our 
 great and crowded cities, with their swarming populations 
 and their due cpiota of accidents, we find another great de- 
 mand for surgery. 
 
 Then take into account the world's criminal records, and 
 see what a multitude of people are crippled by criminal as- 
 saults, over and above the actual murders, and all calling for 
 surgeons. 
 
 Go to the jungles of India alone and you shall find twen- 
 t}'- thousand people annually dying from the bites of ven- 
 omous serpents, with more than an equal number saved by 
 the surgeons. Then add the long list of men torn and trampled 
 by wild and tame beasts of the world, and see how you swell 
 the benefactions of surgery. 
 
 Then take up the list of pathological disorders, the neo- 
 plasms and necrotic conditions calling for surgery, and you 
 can assemble a great army corps out of the men operating 
 in that one field. And what a glorious record they are mak- 
 ing! From the original record of forty to fifty per cent, of 
 recoveries in many lines of operative work, the record goes 
 on from year to year, creeping up to seventy-five, eighty, 
 ninety, ninety-five, ninety-seven, and at last reaching ninety- 
 eight and ninety-nine per cent, of recoveries. 
 
 Aye, it is a glorious record, of a glorious profession, 
 with a debt of honor and gratitude honestly and fairly 
 
 119
 
 charged up to the world that would stagger humanity, could 
 it all be clearly understood and fully comprehended by every 
 member of the race. 
 
 It is a very singular fact that a very large majority of 
 all human injuries are humanly inflicted, directly or indirect- 
 ly. Every gunshot wound, every arrow, spear, or sabre 
 wound ; every club, stone, knife, hammer, axe and saw wound 
 is of human infliction. All the wounds from the explosion 
 of mines and torpedoes under the feet of men are by man- 
 made contrivances. All explosions of steam and gas are the 
 result of human ignorance or carelessness. All the railway 
 and steamboat wrecks are brought about by the vicious use 
 of knowledge or ignorance. And the vast hecatombs of men 
 slain and wounded in battles and brawls are so slain and 
 mangled by the design and fell precipitation of their fellow 
 mortals. So that the world itself is responsible for most of 
 the crying needs that call for the aid of surgery. 
 
 Men. singly, in groups, in bodies, in nations, are inces- 
 santly inflicting bodily injuries on their fellow m'ortals, and 
 then expecting the surgeon to save the remnant and heal 
 their infirmities. And thus they are forever piling up the 
 vast debt of gratitude, which the world owes to surgery. 
 
 , The injuries and violent deaths that are in no wise con- 
 nected with human design or negligence constitute but a 
 small proportion of our casualty lists. 
 
 Great bodies of men are sometimes responsible for great 
 calamities and appalling catastrophes. Take, for example, 
 the recent great calamity at Galveston. I suppose some of 
 you are ready to say on the instant and emphatically that 
 that was the act of God entirely. Not so; human negligence 
 contributed a large share of the responsibility for that catas- 
 trophe. Since Galveston was founded it has had several 
 loud and alarming warnings that, in obedience to the meteor- 
 ologic laws of the universe, great storms are booked to 
 sweep over that especial region of coast line from time to 
 time, to the imminent peril of human life. Fourteen years 
 ago thirty-eight lives and five millions of property were 
 swept out by a similar storm, but of less intensity; and yet 
 people rebuilt then and will rebuild now, right in the hurri-
 
 cane's track, because they can make money there, notwith- 
 standing that within the month five thousand people have 
 been handed over to death, and other thousands to the sur- 
 geons, because they both wilfully and ignorantly camped in 
 the hurricane's track. 
 
 God has little responsibility in the matter. What is the 
 debt of humanity to the surgeons who take care of such a 
 people? 
 
 SURGICAL LITERATURE. 
 
 Fiction is without question the most colossal department 
 of the world's literature, overshadowing all other depart- 
 ments as Himalayan peaks tower above all other peaks in 
 all other ranges. 
 
 It is probable that history ranks next to fiction in volume 
 and numerical strength. The largest average of large work- 
 ing libraries in private life is the law library. It takes more 
 law books to make what is considered a respectable library 
 than any other class of books. But the library that gets ripe 
 and goes to seed the quickest and is soonest out of date, of 
 all libraries, is the medical library. A medical work often 
 becomes antique before the current year-book is bound ; and 
 all because medicine and surgery are displaying greater ac- 
 tivity and research and theoretical and practical experiment- 
 ation than- any other branch of human endeavor. 
 
 What with books, monographs, pamphlets, reports and 
 current and serial publications, there is a broad and deep 
 stream of medical literature pouring constantly into the 
 libraries and offices of its devotees. And no inconsiderable 
 part of that is strictly surgical literature. 
 
 As the first printed edition of the Bible went off the forms 
 of Gutenburg, the inventor of printing, the "De re Medica" 
 of Celsus went on, and over sixty thousand editions and 
 translations of that one work have seen the light of day.
 
 In a two day's tramp through the surgical history of the 
 world, I found seventeen hundred and seventy original works 
 on surgery, with about five thousand translations, and twice 
 as many monographs, not large enough to be called books. 
 Of surgical pamphlets and case reports I can fomi no es- 
 timate of the number, any more than I can of the number of 
 leaves in an acre of forest. Of surgical articles in the medi- 
 cal and surgical journals, sliall I say they number one 
 hundred thousand, or a million, or one hvmdred million, 
 from the days of xA-Csculapius to the morning of the twentieth 
 century? 
 
 And what is the world's del)t to the profession on that 
 score? I leave that for you and the world to judge. 
 
 You will observe that I have said almost nothing of the 
 magnificent record of the nineteenth century. It has been 
 discussed by an abler man, and I beg leave to refer you to 
 the Annual Address in Surgery, before the British Medical 
 Association at its session at Ipswick. by Mr. Frederick 
 Treves. 
 
 The foregoing article is a valuable variation from the gen- 
 eral contour of this book, but is a welcome contribution 
 nevertheless, contributed by its author, who deserves great 
 credit for its excellence. L. L. S. 
 
 A MODERN INSTANCE. 
 
 BY HENRY W. ROBKY. M. D. 
 
 Dr. Pildash sat in his office 
 Wondering who would be next to call 
 Wondering what he would do, if mayhap 
 Nobody wanted his help at all.
 
 How would he feed his wife and children, 
 How would he pay for his clothes and rent. 
 How would he meet his note to-morrow 
 Held by the bank at ten per cent? 
 Night and morning in old Rush College 
 He had studied the skin and bones — 
 The cloak that covered, the frame that carried 
 Bad-pay Smith and old dead-beat Jones. 
 There while the midnight oil was burning 
 He had studied the heart and spleen 
 Found in the frame of good-pay Johnson. 
 The reins and liver of sure-pay Green 
 An hundred times had asked the question, 
 Why had he not in those student days 
 Found the law in some spleen or liver 
 For diagnosing the man who pays ? 
 Why had he not in the flush or pallor 
 Of every man whom he chanced to meet 
 Found some clue for the proclamation 
 "This old chump is a fraud and cheat !" 
 Why had he not found some new center 
 Sconced in the cord, or the brain above. 
 That he might touch with a probe or potion 
 And turn all malice and hate to love? 
 Why had he not in the convolutions 
 Found the cell where the soul resides? 
 Why had he not in the brain's white cortex 
 Found where the moral sense abides? 
 Why in the world had he not discovered 
 In the soul's great temple or some annex 
 Like the Taj Mahal or the Mosque of Omar 
 That wonderous statute the law of sex? 
 Why had he not in the great sympathetic 
 Found affection's root and course 
 Or found the bulb of the great erratic 
 That drives so many to quick divorce? 
 Why he had not some night or morning 
 
 123
 
 Stumbled over that special cell 
 
 That gives to men like Patrick Henry 
 
 The charm of speech, with its power and spell? 
 
 Why had he not some time at midnight 
 
 Just when the hours seemed dull and long 
 
 Found that cell in the teeming brain-pan 
 
 Fraught with the magic power of song? 
 
 Why had he not — but his bell was ringing, 
 
 Here indeed was the wished for call, 
 
 A little late, but still much better 
 
 Than if it had never come at all. 
 
 Deacon Smith from his horse had fallen, 
 
 Striking the curb-stone on his head, 
 
 And they who brought him home predicted 
 
 The rich old banker would soon be dead. 
 
 That was the message brought to Pildash, 
 
 That was the cause of his rush and haste, 
 
 That was the reason his dinner waited. 
 
 The cook was angry, her art disgraced. 
 
 Pildash found when he reached the patient 
 
 A rich old rival was there ahead, 
 
 For Doctor Pilgrave, a nearby neighbor. 
 
 Was bending over the patient's bed. 
 
 The rivals glared, for a moment, silent, 
 
 Then shook hands and the war was done. 
 
 This was a patient both had wanted. 
 
 (The patient had wanted neither one.) 
 
 Both were called by the frightened neighbors 
 
 W^ithout inquiring the victim's will. 
 
 "Run for a doctor!" most men clamour 
 
 WHien Jones is injured or IJrown is ill. 
 
 Deacon Smith, Avith his ample fortune, 
 
 Offered truce to the ]Mll-men's feud, 
 
 They could meet at the Deacon's bedside 
 
 And both remain without being rude. 
 
 Here was a place where the code of ethics 
 
 Raised no ((uarrel and bred no strife. 
 
 124
 
 They agreed on the diagnosis, 
 
 Or so professed, to the good man's wife. 
 
 Pilgrave said to his youthful rival, 
 
 "In my opinion it would be well 
 
 To give the patient a little jalap 
 
 And broken doses of calomel." 
 
 "Yes," said the youthful man of physic, 
 
 Glancing up at the mantel clock. 
 
 ''Give him that with a little brandy 
 
 To counter-foil the cerebral shock." 
 
 Then said the elder man and bolder, 
 
 "I always practice what T preach. 
 
 This man's temple is hot and throbbing. 
 
 The thing for that is a hungry leech." 
 
 "Hungry leeches are here already." 
 
 At least so runneth the public tongue. 
 
 "That was a maxim; among the people, 
 
 About all doctors when I was young." 
 
 Pildash said, as he saw his rival 
 
 Coddle the leeches growing red, 
 
 Saw them swell like a cow in clover 
 
 And drop at last from the patient's head — 
 
 "You are wise as the Hebrew Prophet, 
 
 Sly and cunning as Aesop's fox. 
 
 You suggest, we're a pair of leeches, 
 
 I suggest we're a paradox." 
 
 Pilgrave laughed, while a great fiy blister 
 
 Warmed and tortured the deacon's chest, 
 
 Painting that in the deep vermilion 
 
 Sometimes seen in the glowing west. 
 
 All this time the beleagured patient 
 
 Lay like a man in a dull dead faint. 
 
 Puffing away like a stranded porpoise 
 
 And never making the least complaint. 
 
 So it fell that these faithful rivals 
 
 Stood at the bedside all night long 
 
 Counting the pulse of the weary patient 
 
 125
 
 Whom they had promised would soon be strong. 
 
 And still they curried and combed their noddles 
 
 And racked his brains for a better dose, 
 
 To ring the bell or touch the button 
 
 And wake the brain that was comatose. 
 
 But just as a man who has tugged and wrestled 
 
 With some stupendous affair of life, — 
 
 Has led a charge in the front of battle. 
 
 Or faced a lion in deadly strife 
 
 Sits down to rest and recount his prowess, 
 
 To listening friends with a kindly grace, 
 
 These Esculapians ceased their pother 
 
 And chaffed each other about the case. 
 
 Pildash said to the grave old doctor, 
 
 "This is the art of making bread ! 
 
 Pills and powder and mustard plaster. 
 
 Swathe and bandage from foot to head." 
 
 Pilgrave said to. the strippling doctor, 
 
 (Seeing the patient was dead asleep) — 
 
 "This case opens the road to fortune, 
 
 A goodly harvest that we must reap !" 
 
 "Aye," said Pildash, "It's no dishonor 
 
 To stand by a man in his hour of need. 
 
 Don't you see that it stands to reason 
 
 The sick are always the men to bleed? 
 
 Bleed them first in the left basilic. 
 
 Then in the right, if the case gets worse ; 
 
 And later on, when the man is better, 
 
 Let your lancet into his purse !" 
 
 Then he said, as he shook with laughter. 
 
 And twirled an twisted his brown mustache, 
 
 "That is the way I see you seniors 
 
 Have for paying your debts in cash !" 
 
 "Yes," said the older son of Galen. 
 
 " 'Hay while the sun shines,' that's the way 
 
 Wise men come to the front in practice. 
 
 Choose your victims, then make them pay. 
 
 126
 
 Burglar's eyes catch the servants napping-, 
 
 And tap the tills while the bankers sleep, 
 
 And he who garners the largest harvest 
 
 Is he who sows where he wants to reap. 
 
 You are a young man yet in physic, 
 
 Honest counsel is not a crime ; 
 
 Pluck old geese, and a good fat turkey 
 
 Comes to )^our table at Christmas time!" 
 
 Then he laughed like a man who never 
 
 Had known a care since he came to birth 
 
 And had for asking, in scripture measure, 
 
 The best things found on the great round earth 
 
 But still the man with the bi-congestion 
 
 Choking the channels in brain and purse 
 
 Drew his breath like a Corliss engine 
 
 And all conceded him' growing worse. 
 
 Pills and portions were weighed and doubled 
 
 And two soon came to be eight or nine, 
 
 Incandescent, instead of cherry, 
 
 The tongs tattooing his sluggish spine, 
 
 And still the pumps at the central station 
 
 Filling his lungs and his tired heart. 
 
 Shook with exhaustions laggard tremors 
 
 As though they never again would start. 
 
 Some few squares from the Deacon's palace , 
 
 Francis Schlatter, the healer, dwelt : 
 
 Round about him in rags and squalor 
 
 Men and women together knelt, 
 
 Waiting there as the ancient leppers 
 
 Christ once found at Bethesda's pool. 
 
 Each intent on an instant blessing 
 
 While forgetting the golden rule. 
 
 Round about the beleaguered cottage 
 
 All night long, and the day far spent, 
 
 Men stood fast, and the waiting women 
 
 Gave loud voice to their discontent. 
 
 Th' Deacon's servant' a faithful zealot, 
 
 127
 
 Stood in the driping rain all night. 
 
 Then, with his handkerchief blest, departed 
 
 Just as the morning smiled with light. 
 
 Straight to his master's stately chamber, 
 
 Swift as an arrow's flight he sped, 
 
 And the kerchief, blessed by the wondrous healer, 
 
 Was oyer the Deacon's temples spread. 
 
 Lo! In an instant all was over, 
 
 Deacon Smith from his dreams awoke. 
 
 Springing up like a hunted tiger, 
 
 Out of his swaddling bands he broke. 
 
 Tore the swathes from his tortured members, 
 
 Flung the clout from his shaven head. 
 
 Glared at the two dumfounded doctors. 
 
 Who stood there wishing they were dead. 
 
 "What in hell are you fellows doing? 
 
 Up with your traps, now, quick, and walk! 
 
 Out of my house ! — or I swear I'll brain you, 
 
 I've heard all of your devilish talk!" 
 
 Deacon Smith on the coming Sunday. 
 
 Wore a wig when he went to church. 
 
 And some years later his will was opened. 
 
 Two smart doctors were left in the lurch. 
 
 THE NEW CULT. 
 
 "A little nonsense now and then is physic for the doctor men. 
 
 There's a wonderful Doctor in Gooseberry town, 
 Xamed Agathe Alice Angelica Brown. 
 But what's in a name? Hath our Shakespeare not said 
 That the rose that is yellow or orange or red, 
 
 128
 
 May be just as exquisite and delicate too, 
 As the rose that is purple or pea-green or blue? 
 It was so in this case. And yet Agathe Brown 
 Was proud of her name and her fame and her gown. 
 And she was linguacious and proud to parade 
 The position she held in that mighty crusade 
 That she waged against doctors who fill you with drugs 
 From their marvelous boxes and bottles and jugs. 
 And it fell to my lot as I went up and down. 
 To stop over Sunday in Gooseberry town 
 And it fell to my lot on that day to fall sick 
 With an ailment that hurried me like the old Nick, 
 And as no other doctor was known in the town. 
 The great Agathe Alice Angelica Brown 
 Was summoned in haste and came to my room 
 Looking happy and sweet as a lotus in bloom, 
 Full-jeweled and cased in a mantle of fur, 
 And a robe to be envied by even Ben Hur, 
 And I told her straight way, and in words blunt and plain, 
 That I just wanted something to wallop my pain; 
 That I didn't care that (-) for the wrangle of schools, 
 And I cared a deal less for the college bred fools. 
 With the grace of a mermaid she laid off her cloak, 
 And divested herself of her tippet and toque, 
 And sat down beside me, and, closing her eyes, 
 Looking wondrously solemn, and witchingly wise. 
 She lapsed into silence — a virtue imknown 
 To some of her sex — and I stifled the groan 
 That rose to my lips like a wave of the sea, 
 From the ventral dissentions then raging in me. 
 For tormina tortured by internals there 
 And made me just ready to curse and to swear, 
 I glowered at her, and she smiled back at me 
 As much as to say, "It's all right, don't you see?" 
 Until in amazement I finally said — 
 'Tor Heaven's sake, Aladam, don't wait till I'm dead. 
 But do something for me, this minute, riglit now. 
 
 129
 
 This pain cuts me up like a two-shoveled plow." 
 
 "Be silent and restful a moment," she said, 
 
 With a wave of her hand and a toss of her head. 
 
 And relapsing again into silence she sat 
 
 In magnificent pose like my grandmother's cat. 
 
 Then I blurted out hotly, and said in dispair, 
 
 "Give me something to ease me; don't sit there and stare! 
 
 Bring a mule in to kick me; put a knife to my throat; 
 
 Get a battering ram or an old billy goat, 
 
 And batter my brains out; get a threshing machine 
 
 And thresh this thing out of my liver and spleen ! 
 
 Do any old thing in the world and be quick? 
 
 Get up and do something; I tell you I'm sick!" 
 
 Then she opened her eyes and her half pouting lips 
 
 And smiled like the sun coming out of eclipse. 
 
 And she murmured and twittered in sweet winning ways. 
 
 Pinning roses of rhetoric onto each phrase, 
 
 'Til at last, quite confounded, I lay back and had 
 
 A horid suspicion — The woman was mad ! 
 
 For she rolled on in speech, like the waves of the sea. 
 
 And hurled the whole body of doctrine at me. 
 
 And wound up by saying: "There's nothing but thot 
 
 When you think you are sick it is proof you are not. 
 
 A little reflection will make it all plain ; 
 
 That no man or woman can ever have pain ; 
 
 It's a myth and delusion, a trick of your thoi. 
 
 When you think you have pain, it is proof you have not. 
 
 It is only depravity thwarting the truth, 
 
 Planting tares in the garden and highway of youth. 
 
 Coming back to first principles, now don't you see 
 
 There is nothing but thot? And that thot makes us free. 
 
 As free as the light, which is only a thnt. 
 
 For light is so gross that you know it is not. 
 
 The Immanent soul take cognition, you see. 
 
 And the Eminent goes; and those two thots agree. 
 
 So the reason is plain, and, it needs but a word 
 
 To sh(Jiv that your notion of pain is absurd. 
 
 130
 
 To prove it, I'll hold you in thot for a spell. 
 And your notion will vanish, and all will be well." 
 When she rose., she looked round and said — "Hold to the thai 
 When you think you are sick, it is proof you are not." 
 Reattired, she stood for a moment or two, 
 Looking off into space — then without more ado 
 Shook her feathers and walked to the half open door, 
 And paused on the threshold to tell me once more : 
 "You think you are sick, but you see you are not. 
 Just keep that in mind and just hold to the ihof." 
 Her steps died away and I heard them no more. 
 But the bar-tender came and looked in at the door 
 And bowing profoundh*. he said with a wink. — 
 "When I has the colic, I takes a big drink. 
 \ big horn of brandv. or hot whiskey stew. 
 Is about the right thing, sir, I'm thinking, for you." 
 He brought me a pitcher of hot. steaming stuff. 
 And said there was more, if that wasn't enough. 
 And I filled myself up on the hell-broth he brought. 
 And have always rejoiced at the miracle wrought. 
 Next day I received from the doctor a note. 
 With a bill for ten dollars ; and sat down and wrote. 
 "Tit for tat is a maxim as old as the sphinx: 
 I am quite well to-day but I paid for the drinks. 
 Yet still I am mindful of all that you said 
 As you talked me to death on a pain-tortured bed. 
 And what you there told me, of course, must be true. 
 So I hand your philosophy all back to you : 
 If I was not sick, there was nothing to cure. 
 And that being so — ^then the fact is dead sure 
 Your bill is a humbug; there is nothing but (hot. 
 When you think you want money, it's proof you do not." 
 
 131
 
 OUR MENTOR. 
 
 There's a clanging bell in the tower of Time 
 Whose notes of challenge are all sublime. 
 And the ringer stands on that dizzy height 
 And clangs the changes of day and night. 
 He clangs his bell while the seasons keep 
 Their onward way l-ke the billowed deep. 
 He clangs his bell while the vagrant years 
 Break ranks and hurry away in tears. 
 He clangs his bell, and immortal man 
 Takes step and marches a little span 
 And then drops out, whether yotmg or old. 
 To hide himself in the closing mould. 
 And all who harken to-day may hear 
 The voice of God to the Rolling sphere 
 In thunder-tones over land and sea 
 As the great bell clangs "FRATERNITY." 
 
 But on the morrow, in under-tone, 
 That seeketh and speaketh to thee alone. 
 Another voice from that bell shall say ; — 
 "Here is thy burden, and there thy way. 
 My name is Duty, and when I call 
 Withdraw thy shadow from pleasure's hall 
 And leave to others to joust with wrong. 
 In ways cast up for the great and strong ; 
 Leave Press and Pulpit and Public School 
 To curb the vicious, and quench the fool. 
 Thy mission is higher than theirs' I trow. 
 Thy blade was forged for a deadlier foe. 
 There is one path only thy feet may tread ; 
 There light shall hallow thy sacred head, 
 
 132
 
 And strenotli descend to ihy strong right arm. 
 And courage rescue thy soul from harm. 
 Comb all the beaches of learning's sea 
 For that which haply may come to thee, 
 And thou shalt find in its tangled wrath 
 Weapons less fortunate men shall lack 
 My name is Duty, and I command 
 That thou in armor go up and stand , 
 In yonder cottage, where want is plain. 
 And prayers for comfort and peace are vain, 
 Where cold and hunger and naked feet 
 Appeal in vain to the roaring street. 
 There on a pallet of straw lies one 
 Who prays for succor, and findeth none, 
 For Death is there wuth his bloody hand 
 Clutched tight on the hilt of his dripping brand. 
 Find there thy battle, and let thy steel 
 Make good thy promise of skill and zeal." 
 
 The next good morrow, at break of day, 
 
 That voice shall scatter thy dreams and say- — 
 
 "Go thou straightway to yon gilded hall 
 
 Where sounds of revelry rise and fall. 
 
 Where shame-faced women and men accursed 
 
 Consort to quench their unhallowed thirst. 
 
 There shalt thou find on a sin-cursed cot 
 
 A soul that suffers, no matter what. 
 
 Enough that one of thy human-kind 
 
 Is racked with pain, and is poor and blind, 
 
 And hard beset by that grim old sprite 
 
 That Avears the cloak of eternal n-ght. 
 
 Strike there! Nor reckon the marks of sin, 
 
 A soul immortal is housed within ; 
 
 Strike there! And see that thy blows are spent 
 
 In service whereto thou art this day sent.^' 
 
 Then on a day that shall dawn ere long, 
 
 That voice shall chant thee as sweet a song 
 
 133
 
 As the shepherds sang^ in Bethlehem 
 
 When the mangered infant was born to them. 
 
 M'ake thou no question of works or creeds, 
 
 But go to the manger, if so it needs, 
 
 And guide some soul in its earthward flight 
 
 From the hand of God -to the gates of light. 
 
 Converting its pain into poesy, 
 
 And, its woe into tuneful melody. 
 
 On a day to follow, that voice shall ring; — 
 
 "Go thou up yonder to mammon's king. 
 
 For he is laid on a couch of pain, 
 
 Recalled from leading the hosts of gain. 
 
 Reck not if ever his jeweled hand 
 
 Held gains ill-gotten from every land; 
 
 In his debentures hold thou no share, 
 
 Leave God to render the judgment there; 
 
 But see that death from thy fellow-man 
 
 Shall stand aloof his alloted span.-" 
 
 And still on a day not far to seek 
 
 Thou shalt hear thy mentor as plainly speak ; — 
 
 "Make haste in mercy and let thy feet 
 
 Out-measure time on the crowded street, 
 
 Till thou art come to the city's bound 
 
 Where the great black dragon of death is found 
 
 In the cloak of pestilence, crouching low 
 
 Above a scene of unmeasured Avoe. 
 
 Where only the stoutest of heart may dare 
 
 Set face or foot in its stifTled air. 
 
 Strike there ! nor falter, nor turn aside, 
 
 Till the issues of life and death are tried." 
 
 On another day when the sea shalt roar 
 And ships are cast on the wreck-strewn shore 
 And the ocean vomits her ghastly dead. 
 And men shall shiver and quake with dread, 
 That voice shall summon thy feet in haste 
 
 134
 
 Where death took fright and his steps retraced, 
 Leaving some souls in that awful strife 
 Still clinging- a space to the thread of life. 
 There Duty holdeth her lamp for thee 
 And bids thy service be large and free. • 
 For they who tarry unsheeted there 
 Have need of thy utmost- love and care. 
 
 On a day that shall* cover the earth with dread, 
 When the field of carnage lies strewn with dead, 
 And mangled foemen lie heaped and piled 
 In whirlwind fashion, uncouth and wild, 
 Where Death's dread reaper, in sheaving, hath 
 Left only the scattered after-math. 
 That voice shall ring in thy startled ear; — 
 "With all thy wisdom and might, strike here ! 
 Strike on, strike on, until life's great foe 
 Is beaten back from: that scene of woe !" 
 
 So, day after day. it shall come to thee, 
 
 As it did to the Prophet of Galilee, 
 
 To leave all question of minor things 
 
 To minor men, and go up like kings 
 
 To the greater battle the world demands 
 
 Of its greater men, with their stronger hands. 
 
 And so I bid you God-speed, today ; 
 
 Go hence and follow the narrow way 
 
 Where Duty leads with her glowing lamp 
 
 In the crowded street, in the field and camp, 
 
 In the honored paths where the great have trod. 
 
 In fealty to mankind and God, 
 
 Like the old Zamindar of Hindoostan, 
 
 Who prayed each day to be such a man 
 
 That he might do for his mortal kind 
 
 All good conceived by the All-wise Mind. 
 
 135
 
 THE WAY OF THE WORLD. 
 
 BY ELLA WHEELER WILCOX. 
 
 Laugh, and the world laughs with you; 
 
 Weep, and you weep alone ; 
 For this brave old earth must borrow its mirth. 
 
 It has troubles enough of its own. 
 Sing, and the hills will answer ; 
 
 Sigh, it is lost on the air; 
 The echoes bound to a joyful sound, 
 
 But shrink from voicing care. 
 
 Rejoice, and men will seek you ; 
 
 Grieve, and they turn and go; 
 They want full measure of all your pleasure. 
 
 But they do not want your woe. 
 Be glad, and your friends are many; 
 
 Be sad, and you lose them all. 
 There are none to decline your nectared wine. 
 
 But alone you must drink life's gall. 
 
 Feast, and your halls are crowded ; 
 
 Fast, and the world goes by ; 
 Succeed, and give, and it helps you to live. 
 
 But no man can help you die. 
 There is room in the halls of pleasure 
 
 For a long and lordly train. 
 But one by one we must all file on 
 
 Through the narrow isles of pain. 
 
 t-6
 
 A DOCTOR'S DREA>[. 
 
 BY DR. G. D. MOOIIK. 
 
 Last evening I was talking 
 
 With a doctor, aged and gray, 
 
 Who told me of a dream he had, 
 I think 'twas Christmas day. 
 
 While snoozing in his olifice 
 
 The vision came to view. 
 For he saw an angel enter 
 
 Dressed in garments white and new 
 
 Said the angel. "I'm from heaven: 
 The Lord just sent me down 
 
 To bring you up to glory 
 To wear 3'our golden crown. 
 
 "You've been a friend to everyone, 
 And worked hard night and day; 
 
 You have doctored many thousands 
 And from few received your pay. 
 
 "So we want you up in glory. 
 
 For you have labored hard, 
 And the good Lord is preparing 
 
 Your eternal, just reward." 
 
 Then the angel and the doctor 
 Started up to glory's gate. 
 But when passing close to Hades 
 The angel murmured; ."Wait." 
 
 137
 
 "I have a place here to show you; 
 
 It's the hottest place in hell, 
 Where the ones who never paid you 
 
 In torment always dwell." 
 
 And' behold the doctor saw there 
 His old patients by the score, 
 
 And taking up a chair and fan 
 He wished for nothing more. 
 
 But was bound to sit and watch them, 
 As they sizzle, singe and burn, 
 
 And his eyes would rest on debtors 
 Whichever way they'd turn. 
 
 Said the angel, "Come on, doctor," 
 There's the pearly gates I see." 
 
 But the doctor only murmured : 
 "This is good enough for me." 
 
 He refused to go on further, 
 But preferred to sit and gaze 
 
 At the crowd of rank, old dead beats, 
 As they lay there in the blaze. 
 
 But just then the doctor's clock 
 Cuckooed the hour of seven. 
 
 And he awoke to find himself 
 In neither hell or heaven. 
 
 138
 
 THE DOCTOR'S PROMISED LAND. 
 
 I'.Y J. P.. MITCHELL, M. D., SNEEDVILLE, TEN.— IX I'll I r-Al)i;i,l'1 1 1 A 
 .MEDICAL WORLD. 
 
 Tell me ye winged winds 
 
 That round my pathway play, 
 Is there no place on earth 
 
 Where Doctors get their pay? 
 The whispering winds went by 
 
 With accents filled with woe ; 
 A voice borne on the morning air 
 
 In sadness answers "No." 
 
 Tell me ye flowing streams 
 
 That smoothly glide along, 
 Is there no cherished place 
 
 Where Doctors meet no wrong? 
 The gentle brook replied 
 
 In murmurs soft and low, 
 And wending on its verdant way 
 
 It meekly answered ''No." 
 
 Tell me ye murky clouds 
 
 Now rising in the West, 
 Is there upon the globe 
 
 One spot by doctors blessed? 
 The flushing clouds outspoke 
 
 With an indignant glow ; 
 A voice that filled the earth with awe 
 
 In thunders answered "No." 
 
 139
 
 Tell me, angelic host, 
 
 Ye messengers of love. 
 Shall suffering Doctors here below 
 
 Have no redress above? 
 The angel band replied : 
 
 "To us is knowledge given ; 
 Delinquents on Physicians' books 
 
 Can never enter Heaven." 
 
 140
 
 Tnaex. 
 
 Page 
 
 A Calf Story 96 
 
 Actual Experience 99 
 
 A Curious Light 58 
 
 A Doctor's Dream 137 
 
 A Faithful Minister 94 
 
 A Female Ghost 38 
 
 A Few Authentic Stories — 
 
 A Haunted House 56 
 
 The Angel Came 56 
 
 The Dog's Ghost 57 
 
 A Foolish Deed 43 
 
 A Ghostly Cat 12 
 
 A Ghost Story 50 
 
 A Ghost Story That is True 15 
 
 ' 'A Hashish Fiend" 26 
 
 A Headless Man 44 
 
 A Kentucky Ghost Story i 
 
 A Ivcap in the Dark 71 
 
 A Lively Corpse 21 
 
 A Live Ghost in Broad Daylight 67 
 
 A Lively Spirit 31 
 
 A Modern Instance 122 
 
 An Actual and Recent Experience 106 
 
 An Actual Experience 46 
 
 "A Nice Mut-ting" 97 
 
 An Original Ghost Story 13 
 
 A Preacher Tempted by a Stubborn Calf 106 
 
 A Rooster Pulling 77 
 
 A Sad Story 41 
 
 A Serious Mistake 99 
 
 A Sure Cure for Meningitis 75 
 
 A Ten Dollar Story 83 
 
 A Twist Untwisted 29 
 
 A Veritable Ghost 19 
 
 Back Biting 92 
 
 Don't Be Afraid loi 
 
 Fogy Practice 89
 
 Page 
 Four Ghost Stories - 
 
 '"Sandy" and the Graveyard Spook 5 
 
 Donald and the Speaking Sheep's Head 6 
 
 The Devil Does Not Understand Gaelic 7 
 
 How a Roving Pig Acted the Ghost S 
 
 Grandpa's Butter 91 
 
 How I Played Ghost 102 
 
 How to Clean a Chimney 93 
 
 Love at First Sight 80 
 
 Mind Over Matter 86 
 
 My Delusion 46 
 
 My Dog Fight 85 
 
 My Encounter with a Lion 61 
 
 My First Tooth-Pull by a Horse 104 
 
 My Ghostly Experience 9 
 
 My Greatest Fright 40 
 
 My Hardest Fall 73 
 
 My Own Ghost 36 
 
 Our Mentor 132 
 
 Politics and Medicine 68 
 
 She Took Her Medicine 84 
 
 Superstition vs. Cold Facts 25 
 
 The Battle of Life 105 
 
 The Dissecting Room 58 
 
 The Doctor's Promised Land 139 
 
 The Ghost of Poplar Orchard 32 
 
 The Haunted Cabin 48 
 
 The Haunted School House 62 
 
 The New Cult 128 
 
 The Springlands Ghost 55 
 
 The Way of the World 136 
 
 The World's Debt to Surger>^ 108 
 
 Anaesthesia 114 
 
 In War 116 
 
 In Civil Life iig 
 
 Surgical Literature 121 
 
 Three Ghosts 53 
 
 Two Ghost Stories ■ 22 
 
 Was It a Ghost ? 43
 
 EYE AND EAR HOSPITAL 
 
 DR. SHORT'S PRIVATE EYE AND EAR 
 HOSPITAL IS NOW READY 
 
 A fine place near the park, where patients may select their own 
 physician. 
 
 730 square feet of porch, and fine yard. 
 
 The most splendid water that the world affords. 
 
 Treatment of patients the very best, and terms exceedingly 
 reasonable. 
 
 Main Street cars pass the door. 
 
 Located at No. 9, South McKinley Avenue. 
 
 Take street cars going west and get off at Grand and McKinley 
 Avenues. 
 
 We will meet all Patients from a distance at the train, if 
 notified. 
 
 ADDRESS 
 
 J. L. SHORT, M.D., *Ok4ahoma city, Okla.
 
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 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
 
 Los Angeles 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below 
 
 Form L9-Series 4939 
 
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