THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA DAVIS GIFT OF JOHN SEKERAK By CHARLES G. LELAND n PHILADELPHIA: T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS 30G CHESTNUT STREET. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA DAVIS I Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1869, by CHARLES G. LELAXD, in tho Clerk's Office of the District Coiirt of the United States, in and for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. PAGE HANS BREITMANN'S PARTY, . . . 5 BREITMANN IN BATTLE, ... 7 BREITMANN IN MARYLAND, . .. .12 BREITMANN AS A BUMMER, . .17 BREITMANN IN KANSAS, .... 22 DlE SCHCENE WlTTWE, ... .26 BREITMANN AND THE TURNERS, . . .28 BALLAD, .... .31 HANS BREITMANN'S CHRISTMAS, . . .33 DEE FREISCHUETZ, 41 HANS BREITMANN ABOUT TOWN, . . .47 SCHNITZERL'S PHILOSOPEDE PARDT FIRSDT, . 53 SCHNITZERL'S PHILOSOPEDE PARDT SECONDT, 55 A BALLAD APOUT DE ROWDIES, . . .67 WEIN GEIST, .69 (3) 4 HANS BREITMANN IN POLITICS: I. THE NoMiNATioj^k .... 72 II. THE COMMITTEE OP INSTRUCTION, . 75 III. MR. TWINE EXPLAINS BEING " SOUND UPON THE GOOSE," 78 IV. How BREITMANN AND SCHMIT WERE REPORTED TO BE LOG-ROLLING, . . 83 V. How THEY HELD THE MASS MEETING, 87 VI. BREITMANN 's GREAT SPEECH, . . 89 VII. THE AUTHOR ASSERTS THE VAST IN TELLECTUAL SUPERIORITY OF GER MANS TO AMERICANS, . . .95 VIII. SHOWING How MR. HIRAM TWINE "PLAYED OFF" ON SMITH, . .98 GLOSSARY, 107 Hans Breitmann's Party. HANS BREITMANN gife a barty, Dey had blano-blayin ; I felled in lofe mit a Merican frau, Her name vas Madilda Yane. She hat haar as prowu ash a pretzel, Her eyes vas himmel-plue, Und ven dey looket indo mine, Dey shplit mine heart in two. Hans Breitmann gife a barty, I vent dere you'll pe pound. I valtzet mit Madilda Yane Und vent shpinnen round und round. De pootiest Fraeulein in de House, She vayed 'pout dwo hoondred pound, Und efery dime she gife a shoomp She make de vindows sound. Hans Breitmann gife a barty, I dells you it cost him dear. Dey rolled in more ash sefen kecks Of foost-rate Lager Beer. Und venefer dey knocks de shpicket in De Deutschers gifes a cheer. I dinks dat so vine a barty, Nefer coom to a het dis year. (5) 6 Hans Breitmann gife a barty ; Dere all vas Souse und Brouse, Ven de sooper corned in, de gompany Did make demselfs to house ; Dey ate das Brot and Gensy broost, De Bratwurst and Braten fine, Und vash der Abendessen down Mit four parrels of Neckarwein. Hans Breitmann gife a barty We all cot troonk ash bigs. I poot mine mout to a parrel of bier Und emptied it oop mit a schwigs. Und denn I gissed Madilda Yane Und she shlog me on de kop, Und de gompany fited mit daple-lecks Dill de coonsh table made oos shtop. Hans Breitmann gife a barty Where ish dat barty now ! Where ish de lofely golden cloud Dat float on de moundain's prow ? Where ish de himmelstrahlende Stern- De shtar of de shpirit's light ? All goned afay mit de Lager Beer Afay in de ewigkeit ! Breitmannjn Battle. " (tat iapfre ansfajjrm Jsimium tt ^ittm bigtmm poittm wjagm lobmrt." DEB FADER TOD DEB SON. I dinks I'll go a fitin outspoke der Breitemann, " It's eighdeen hoonderd fordy eight since I kits swordt in hand ; Dese fourdeen years mit Hecker all roostin I haf been, Boot, now I kicks der Teufel oop and goes for sailin in." " If you go land out-ridin," said Caspar Pickletongue, " Foost ding you knows you cooms across some repels prave and young, Away down Sout' in Tixey, dey'll split you like a clam" " For dat," spoke out der Breitmann, " I doos not gare one tarn !" Who der Teufel pe's de repels und vhere dey kits deir If dey make a run on Breitmann he'll soon let out de gas; I'll shplit dem like kartoffels : I'll slog em on de kop ; I'll set de plackguarts roonin so dey don't know vhere to shtop." (7) 8 Und den outshpoke der Breitmann, mit his schlaeger py his side : "-Forvarts, my pully landsmen ! it's dime to run und ride ; Will riden, will fighten der Copitain I'll pe, [rie I" It's sporn und horn und saddle now all in de Cavall- Und ash dey rode troo Winchester, so herrlich to pe seen, Dere coomed some repel cavallrie a riden on de creen ; Mit a sassy repel Dootchman an colonel in gommand : Says he, " Vot Teufel makes you here in dis mein Faderland ? " You're dressed oop like a shentleman mit your plack- guard Yankee crew, You mudsills and meganics ! Der Teufel put you troo ! Old Yank you ought to shtay at home und dake your liddle horn, Mit some oldt voomans for a noorse" der Breitmann laugh mit shkorn. " Und should I trink mein lager-bier und roost mine self to home ? [thoom : Ife got too many dings like you to mash beneat' my In many a fray und fierce foray dis Deutschman will be feared [his peard.''" Pefore he stops dis vightin trade 'twas dere he greyed 9 " I pools dat peard out by de roots I gifes him sooch a dwist [tionist ! Dill all de plood roons out, you tamned old Apoli- Your creenpacks mit your swordt und watch right ofer you moost shell, [h-11 !" Und den you goes to Libby straight und after dat to " Mein creenpacks und mein schlaeger, I kits 'em in New York, [talk;" To gife dem up to creenhorns, young man, is not de De heroes shtopped deir sassin' here und grossed deir sabres dwice, Und de vay dese Deutschers vent to vork vos von pig ding on ice. Der younger fetch de older such a gottallmachty smack Der Breitmann dinks he really hears his skool go shplit und crack ; Der repel choomps dwelfe paces back, und so he safe his life : Der Breitmann says : "I guess dem choomps you learns dem of yourvife." " If I should learn of vomans I dinks it vere a shame, Bei Gott I am a shentleman, aristograt, and game. My fader vos anoder I lose him fery young Ter teufel take your soul ! Coom on ! I'll split your waggin' tongue I" 2 10 A Yankee drick der Breitmann dried dat oldt gray- pearded man [he ran. For ash the repel raised his swordt, beneat' dat swordt All roundt der shlim yoong repel's waist his arms oldt Breitmann pound, Und shlinged him down oopon his pack und laidt him on der ground. " Who rubs against olt kittle-pots may keep vite if he can, [man ? Say vot you dinks of vightin now mit dis old shentle- Your dime is oop; you got to die, und I your breest vill pe ; Peliev'st dou in Moral Ideas ? If so I lets you free." " I don't know nix apout Ideas no more dan pout Saint Paul. Since I peen down in Tixey I kits no books at all ; I'm greener ash de clofer-grass ; I'm shtupid as a shpoon ; I'm ignoranter ash de nigs for dey takes de Tribune. " Mein fader's name vas Breitmann, I heard mein mut ter say, She read de bapers dat he died after she rooned afay ; Dey say he leaf some broperty berhaps 'twas all a sell If I could lay mein hands on it I likes it mighty well/' 11 t( Und vas dy fader Breitmann ? Bist du his kit und kin ? Derm know dat ich dcr Breitmann dein lieber Vater bin?" Der Breitmann poolled his hand-shoe off und shocked him py de hand ; " Ve'll hafe some trinks on strengt of dis or else may I pe tam'd !" " Oh ! fader, how I shlog your kop," der younger Breitmann said ; " I'd den dimes sooner had it coom right down on mine own headt !" " Oh, never mind dat soon dry oop I shticks him mit a blaster ; [der." If I had shplit you like a fish, dat vere an vorse tisas- Dis fight did last all afternoon wohl to de fesper tide, Und droo de streeds of Vinchesder, der Breitmann he did ride. [tory ! Vot vears der Breitmann on his hat ? De plooni of fic- Who's dat aridin' py his side ? u Dis here's mem son/' says he. How stately rode der Breitmann oop ! how lordly he kit down ? [prown I How glorious from de great pokal he drink de bier so But der Yunger bick der parrel oop und schwig him all at one. [mein son !" " Bei Gott ! dat settles all dis dings I know dou art 12 Der one has got a fader ; de oder found a child. Bote ride oopon one war-path now in pattle fierce und wild. It makes so glad our hearts to hear dat dcy did so suc ceed Und damit hat sein' Ende DES JUNGEN BREITMANN'S LIED. Breitmann in Maryland. DER Breitmann mit his gompany, Rode out in Marylandt. " Dere's nichts to trink in dis countrie ; Mine treat's as dry as sand. It's light canteen und haversack, It's hoonger mixed init doorst; Und if we had some lager-bier I'd trink oontil I boorst. Gling, glang, gloria ! We'd trink oontil we boorst. 13 " Herr Leut'nant, take a dozen men, Und ride dis land around ! Herr Feldwebel, go foragin' Dill somedings goot is found. Gotts-doonder ! men, go ploonder! We hafn't trinked a bit Dis fourdeen hours ! If I had bier I'd sauf oontil I shplit ! Gling, glang, gloria ! We'd sauf oontil we shplit !" At mitternacht a horse's hoofs Coom rattlin' troo de camp ; " Rouse dere ! coom rouse der house dere ! Herr Copitain we moost tromp ! De scouds have found a repel town, Mit repel davern near, A repel keller in de cround, Mit repel lager bier ! ! Gling, glang, gloria ! All fool of lager-bier ! G-ottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth ! How Breitmann broked de bush ! " let me see dat lager bier ! let me at him rush ! Und is mein sabre sharp und true, Und is rnein war-horse goot ? 14 To get one quart of lager bier I'd shpill a sea of ploot. Q-ling, glang, gloria ! I'd shpill a sea of ploot. " Fuenf hoonderd repels hold de down, One hoonderd strong are we ; Who gares a tarn for all de odds Wenn men so dirsty pe." And in dey smashed and down dey crashed, Like donder-polts dey fly, Rush fort as der wild yaeger cooms Mit blitzen troo de shky. Gling, glang, gloria ! Like blitzen troo de shky. How flewed to rite, how flewd to left De moundains, drees unt hedge ; How left und rite de yaeger corps Went donderin troo de pridge. Und splash und splosh dey ford de shtream Where not some pridges pe : All dripplin in de moondlight peam Stracks went de cavallrie ! Gling, glang, gloria ! Der Breitmann's cavallrie. 15 Und hoory, hoory on dey rote, Oonheedin vet or try ; Und horse und rider shnort und blowed, Und shparklin bepples fly. Ropp ! ropp ! I shmell de barley-prew ! Dere's somedings goot ish near. Ropp ! Ropp ! I scent de kneiperei ; We've got to lager bier ! Gling, glang gloria ! We've got; to lager bier ! Hei ! how de carpine pullets klinged Oopon de helmets hart ! Oh, Breitmann how dy sabre ringed; Du alter Knasterbart ! De contrapands dey sing for choy To see de rebs go down, Und hear der Breitmann grimly gry : Hoorah ! we've dook de down. Gling, glang, gloria ! Victoria, victoria ! De Dootch have dook de down. Mid shout and crash and sabre flash, And wild husaren shout De Dootchmen boorst de keller in, Unt rolled de lager out ; 16 And in the coorlin powder shmoke, While shtill de pullets sung. Dere shtood der Breitmann, axe in hand, A knockin out de boong. Gling, glang, gloria ! Victoria ! Encoria ! De shpicket beats de boong. Gotts ! vot a shpree der Breitmann had While yet his hand was red, A trinkin lager from his poots Among de repel tead. Twas dus dey went at mitternight Along der moundain side ; 'Twas dus dey help make history ! Dis was der Breitmann's ride. Gling, glang, gloria ; Victoria ! Victoria ! Cer'visia, encoria ? De treadful mitnight ride Of Breitmann's wild Freischarlinger, All famous, broad, und wide. Breitmann as a Bummer. DER Sheueral Sherman holts oop on his coorse. He shtops at de gross-road und reins in his horse . " Dere's a ford on de rifer dis day we moost dake, Or elshe de grand army in bieces shall preak !" Yen shoost ash dis vord from his lips had gone bast, There coomed a young orterly gallopin fast, Who grymit amazement: "Here Shen'ral! GootLord ! Dat bummer der Breitmann isli lioldin der ford!" Der Shen'ral he ootered no hymn und no psalm, But opened his lips und he priefiy say " D n ! Dere moost hafe been viskey on dat side der rifer ; To get it dose shaps would set hell in a shiver, But now dat dey hold it, ride quick to deir aid : Ho Sickles ! move promp'ly, send down a prigade Dat Dootchman moost work mighty hard mit his sword If againsd a whole army he holds to de ford." Dey spoored on, dey hoory'd on, gallopin shtraight, But for Breitmann help coomed shust a liddle too late, For ash de Lauwine goes smash mit her pound, So on to de Bummers de repels coom down : Heinrich von Schinkenstein's tead in de road, Dieterich Hinkelbein's flat ash a toad Und Sepperl Tyroler shpoke nefer a vord, But shoost "Mutter Gottes /"und died in de ford. 3 (17) 18 Itsch'l of Innspruck ish drilled troo de hair, Einer aus Bceblingen he too vash dere Karli of Karlisruh's shot near de fence, (His horse vash o'erloadet mit toorkies und hens.) Und dough he like a ravin mad cannibal fought, Yet der Breitmann-der capt'n-der hero vash caught ; Und de last dings ve saw, he was tied mit a cord, For de repels had goppled him oop at de ford. Dey shtripped off his goat und skyugled his poots, Dey dressed him mit rags of a repel recruits ; But von grey-haared oldt veller shmiled crimly und bet Dat Breitman vouldt pe a pad egg for dem, yet. " He has more on his pipe as dem vellers allows ; He has cardts yet in hand und das Spiel ist nicht aws, Dey '11 find dat dey took in der teufel to board, De day dey pooled Breitmann well ofer de ford." In de Bowery each bier-haus mit crape vas oop- done, Ven dey read in de bapers dat Breitmann vas gone; Und de Dootch all cot troonk oopon lager und wein, At the great Trauer-fest of de Toorner Verein Derc vas wein-en mit weinen ven beoples did dink Dat Sherman's great Sherman cood nefer more trink. Und in Villiam Shtreet veepin und vailen vas hoor'd, Pecause der Hans Breitmann vas lost at de ford. SECONDT PARDT. IN~ dulcejubilo now ve all sings, A-waivin de panners like avery dings. De preeze troo de bine-drees ish cooler und salt, Und der Shen'ral is merry venefer ve halt; Loosty und merry he schmells at de preeze, Lustig und heiter he looks troo de drees, Lustig und heiter ash veil he may pe, For Sherman, at last, has marched down to the sea I Dere's a gry from de guart dere's a clotter und drainp, Yen dat fery same orterly rides troo de camp, Who report on de ford. Dere ish droples and awe In de face of de youf ' apout somedings he saw; Und he shpeak me in Frsentsch, like he always do : " Look ! [his spook 1 Sagre pleu ! fentre Tieu ! dere ish Breitmann He ish gorning dis way ! Nom de garce ! can it pe Dat de spooks of te tead men coom down to de sea !" Und ve looks, und ve sees, und ve tremples mit tread. For risin' all swart on de efenin red Vas Johannes der Breitmann der war es, bei Gott ! Coom ridin to oos-ward, right shtrait to de shpot ! All mouse-still ve shtood, yet mit oop-shoompin hearts, For he look shoost so pig ash de shiant of de Hartz ; Und I heard de Sout Deutschers say "Ave Morie ! Braise Gott all goot shpirids py land und py sea !" (19) 20 Boot Itzig of Frankfort he lift oop his nose, Und be-mark dat de shpook hat peen changin his clothes, For he seemed like an Generalissimus drest In a^vlamin new coat and magnificent vest. Six bistols beschlagen mit silber he wore, Und a gold mounted swordt like an Kaisar he bore, Und ve dinks dat de ghosdt or votever he pe Moost hafe proken some panks on his vay to de sea. Id is he !" " Und er kit noch ! he lifes," ve all say : Der Breitmann Oldt Breitmann ! Hans Breit- mann ! Ilerr Je !" Und ve roosh to emprace him, and shtill more ve find Dat vherefer he'd peen, he'd left noding pehind. In bote of his poots dere vas porte-moneys crammed, Mit creen-packs stoof full all his haversack jammed, In his bockets cold dollars were shmglin' deir doons Mit two doozen votches und four doozen shpoons, Und dwo silber tea-pods for makiu' his dea, Der ghosdt hafe pring mit him, en route to de sea. Mit goot sweed-botatoes, und doorkies, und rice, Ve makes him a sooper of avery dings nice. Und de bummers hoont roundt apout, alle wie ein, Dill dey findt a plantaschion mit parrels of wein. 21 Den t'vas " here's to you, Breitmann ! Alt Schwcd' bist zuruck f Yot teufels you makes since dis fourteen nights week?" Und ve holds von shtupendous und derriple shpree For choy dat der Breitmann has got to de sea. But in fain tid ve ashk vhere der Breitmann hat peen, Vot he tid ; vot he pass troo or vot he might seen ? Vhere he kits his vine horse, or who gafe him dem woons, Und how Brovidence plessed him mit tea-pods und shpoons? For to all of dem queeries he only reblies " If you dells me no quesdions, I ashks you no lies I" So 'twas glcar dat some derriple mysh'dry moost pe Vhere he kits all dat ploonder he prings to de sea. Dere ish bapers in Richmond dells derriple lies How Sherman's grand arrnee hafe raise deir sooplies : For ve readt in brindt dat der Sheneral Grant Say de bummers hafe only shoost dake vat dey vant. But 'tis vhispered dat vhile a refolfer'll go round Der BREITMANN vill nefer a peggin' be found ; Or shtarvin' ash brisner by doonder ! not he, Vhile der teufel could help him to ged to de sea. Breitmann in Kansas. YONCE oopon a dimes, goot vhile afder der war vas ofer, der Herr Breitmann vent oud West, drafellin apout like afery dings " circuivit terram et perambulavit earn" ash der Tyfel said ven dey ask him : " how vash you and how you has peen ?" Yon efenings he vas drafel mit some ladies und shendlemans, und he shtaid incognitus. Und dey singed songs, dill py und py one of de ladies say : " Ish any podies here ash know de crate pallad of Hans Breit- rnann's Barty ?" Den Hans say : " Ecce Gallus ! I am dat rooster !" Den der Hans dook a trink und a let-bencil und a biece of baper, and goes indo himself a little dimes und denn coomes out again mit dis boeni : Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ; He drafel fast und far. He rided shoost drei dousand miles All in von r'ail-roat car. He knowed foost rate how far he goed He gounted all de vile. Dere vash shoost one bottle of champagne, Dat bopped at efery mile. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ; I dell you vot my poy. You bet dey hat a pully dimes In crossin Illinoy. (22) 23 Dey speaked dere speaks to all de folk A shtandin in de car ; Den ask dem in to dake a trink, Und corned em ganz und gar. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas j By shings ! dey did it prown. Ven he cot into Leafenvort, He found himself in town. Dey dined him at de Blanter's House, More goot as man could dink; Mit avery dings on eart to eat, Und dwice as mooch to trink. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ; He vent it on de loud. At Ellsvort, in de prairie land, He foundt a pully crowd. He looked for bleedin' Kansas, But dat's " blayed out," dey say ; De whisky keg's de only dings Dat's bleedin' der to-day. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas, To see vot he could hear. He foundt soom Deutschers dat exisdt Py makin' lager bier. 24 Says he: " Wie gehts du Alt Gesell?" But no dings could be heard ; Dey'd growed so fat in Kansas Dat dey couldn't speak a vord. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ; Py shings ! I dell you vot. Von day he met a crisly bear Dat rooshed him down, lei Gott ! Boot der Breitmann took und bind der bear, Und bleased him fery much For efery vordt der crisly growled Yas goot Bavarian Dutch ! Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ! By donder dat is so ! He ridet out upon de plains To shase de boofalo. He fired his rifle at the bools, Und gallop troo de shmoke, Und shoomp de canyons shoost as if Der tyfel vas a choke ! It's hey de trail to Santa Fe ; It's ho ! agross de plain. It's lope along de Denver road, Until we toorn again. 25 Und de railroad dravel after us Apout as quick as we ; Dis Kansas ish de fastest land Ash efer I did see. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ; He have a pully dime ; Bu 'tvas in oldt Missouri Dat dey rooshed him up sublime. Dey took him to der Bilot Nob, Und all der nobs around ; Dey spreed him und dey tea'd him Dill dey roon him to de ground. Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas ; Troo all dis earthly land, A vorkin out life's mission here Soobyectifly und grand. Some beoblesh runs de beautiful, Some works philosophie j Der Breitmann solfe de infinide Ash von eternal shpree ! 4 Die Schcene Wittwe, (DE POOTY VIDDER.) Vot de Yankes Chap sung. AT pooty liddle vidder Vot we dosh'nt vish to name, Ish still leben on dat liddle shtreet A-doin' shuss de' same. De glerks aroundt de gorners Somedimes goes round to zee How die tarlin liddle vitchy ees, Und ask 'er how she pe. Dey lofes her ver' goot liquoer, Dey lofes her liddle shtore; Dey lofes her liddle paby, But dey lofes die vidder more. To dalk mit dat shveet vidder, Yen she hands das lager round, Vill make der shap dat does id Pe happy, ve'll be pound. Dat ish if ve can veil pelieve De glerks vat drinks das peer, Who goes in dere for noding elshe, Put simply for to zee her." (26) 27 How der Breitmann cut him out. On yes I know die wittwe, Mit eyes so prite und proun ! She's de allerschoenste wittwe Vot live in dis here town. In her plack silk gown mine grashious ! All puttoned to de neck Und a pooty liddle collar, Mitout a shpot or shpeck. Ho ! clear de drack you oder/raws Ymi cant pegin to shine Yen de lofely vidder cooras along Dis vidder ash ish mine ! Ho ! clear de drack you Yankee chaps, You Englishers und sooch. You cant pegin to coot me out, Mit out you dalks in Dootch. Ich hab die schoene wittwe Schon lange nit gesehn, Ich sah sie gestern Ahend Wohl bei dem Counter stehn. Die Wangen rein wie Milch und Blut, Die Augen hell und klar. Ich hab sie sechsmal auch gekusst Potztausend ! das ist wahr. Breitmann and the Turners. HANS BREITMANN choined de Turners Novemper in de fall, Und dey gifed a boostin' bender All in de Toorner Hall. Dere coomed de whole Gesangverein Mit der Liederlich Aepfel Chor, Und dey blowed on de drooms und stroomed on de fifes Till dey couldn't refife no more. Hans Breitmann choined de'Toorners, Dey all set oop some shouts, Dey took'd him into deir Toorner Hall, Und poots him a course of shprouts, Dey poots him on de barrell-hell pars Und shtands Mm oop on his head, Und dey poomps de beer mit an enchine hose In his mout' dill he's 'pout half'tead ! Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners ; Dey make shimnastig dricks He stoot on de middle of de floor, Und put oop a fifdy-six. Und den he trows it to de roof, Und schwig off a tread ful trink : De veight coorn toomple pack on his headt, Und py shinks ! he didn't vink 1 (28) 29 Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners : Mem Gott ! how dey drinked und shwore Dere vas Schwabians und Tyrolers, Und Bavarians by de score. Some vellers coomed from de Rheinland, Und Frankfort-on-de-Main, Boot dere vas only von Sharman dere, Und lie vas a Holstein Dane. Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners, Mit a Limpurg' cheese he coom; Yen he open de box it schmell so loudt It knock de musik doomb. Yen de Deutschers kit de flavor, It coorl de haar on dere head j Boot dere vas dwo Amerigans dere; Und, py tarn ! it kilt dem dead ! Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners; De ladies coomed in to see ; Dey poot dem in de blace for de gals, All in der gal-lerie. Dey ashk : " Yhere ish der Breitmann ?' And dey dremple mit awe and fear Yen dey see him schwingen py de toes, A trinken lager bier. 30 Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners : I dells you vot py tarn ! Dey sings de great Urbummellied : De holy Sharman psalm. Und ven dey kits to de gorus You ought to hear dem dramp ! It scared der Teufel down below To hear de Dootchmen stamp. Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners : By Donner ! it vas grand, Vhen de whole of dem goes a valkin' Und dancin' on dere hand, Mit de veet all wavin' in de air, Gottstausend ! vot a dricks ! Dill der Breitmann fall und dey all go down Shoost like a row of bricks. Hans Breitmann choined de Toorners, Dey lay dere in a heap, And slept dill de early sonnen shine Come in at de window creep; And de. preeze it vake dem from deir dream, And dey go to kit deir feed : Here hat' dis song an Ende Das ist DES BREITMANNSLIED. ' Ballad. D ER noble Hitter Hugo Yon Schwillensaufenstein, Rode out mit shpeer and helmet, Und lie coom to de panks of de Rhino. Und oop dere rose a meer maid, Yot hadn't got nodings on, Und she say, " Oh, Ritter Hugo, Yhere you goes mit yourself alone ?" And he says, "I rides in de creenwood Mit helmet und mit shpeer, Till 1 cooms into em G-asthaus, Und dere I trinks some beer." Und den outshpoke de maiden Yot hadn't got nodings on : " I tont dink mooch oi beoplesh Dat goes mit demselfs alone. " You'd petter coom down in de wasser, Yere deres heaps of dings to see, Und hafe a shplendid tinner Und drafel along mit me. 31) 32 " Dere you sees de fisch a scliwimmin, Und you catches dem efery one :" So sang dis wasser maiden Yot hadn't got nodings on. " Dere ish drunks all full mit money In ships dat vent down of old; Und you helpsh yourself, by dunder ! To shimmerin crowns of gold. " Shoost look at dese shpoons und vatches ! Shoost see dese diamant rings ! Coom down und full your bockets, Und I'll giss you like avery dings. u Vot you vantsh mit your schnapps und lager? Coom down into der Rhine ! Der ish pottles der Kaiser Charlemagne Vonce filled mit gold-red wine !" Dat fetched him he shtood all shpell pound ; She pooled his coat-tails down, She drawed him oonder der wasser, De maidens mit nodings on. Hans Breitmann's Christmas. 'Hsec est ilia bonn dies Et vocata Isetn quits Vina sitientibiis. "Nullm metus, nee labores, Nulla cura, nee dolores, Sint in hoc symposia." [De Generibus Ebriosorum, Francoforti ad Moenum, A. D. 1565.] ID vas on Weihnachtsabend vot Ghristmas Efe dey call Der Breitmann mit his Breitmen tid rent de Musik Hall; Ash de Breitmen und die vomen who were in de Lie- derkranz Youldt plend deir souls in harmonic to have a bleasin tantz. Dey reefed de Hall 'mid pushes so nople to be seen, Aroundt Beethoven's buster dey on-did a garlandt creen ; De laties vork like tyfels two days to scroob de vloor, Und hanged a crate serenity mit Willkomm ! oop de toor ! Und vhile dere vas a Schwein-blatt whose redakteur tid say: Dat Breitmann he vas liederlich vet antworded dis away, Ye maked anoder serenity mid ledders plue und red : " Our Leader lick de repels ! N. G." (enof gesaid.) Und anoder serene dransparency ve make de veller baint, Boot de vay he potch und vertyfeled it vas enof to shvear a saint, 5 (33) 34 For ve vanted La G-ermania boot der ardist mit a bloonder Vent und vlorished Lager agross id und denn poot Mania oonder ! Und as G-hristmas Efe was gekommen de beoples weren im Hall, I shvears you id vas Gott-full dat shplendit, pe-glo- riedball? Ve hat foon wie der Teufel in Frankreich we coot oop like ter tyfel in France, Und valk pair-wise in, while de musik blayed loudt de Fackel-Tanz. But ven de valtz shtrike oopwart we most went out of fits, Ash der Breitmann led off on a dwister mid de lofely Helmina Schmitz. He valtz shoost like he vas shtandin shtill, mit a peau- dtful solemn shmile, Und 'Mina say he nafer shtop poussiren allaweil. " Es toent, es rauschet Saitenklang I hear de musik call Den kerzenhellen Saal entlang all troo de gleamin Hall, moecht ich schweben stolz und froh mighdt I efer pe Mit dir durchs ganze Leben so ! my Lebenlang by dee." 35 Und faster play de musik de "Wellen und Wogen von Strauss ; Und some drop into de tantzen und some of dem drop aus; Und soon like a shtorni in de Meere I feel de reelin vloor, So de shpinners shtop mit de shpinsters, for dey couldn't shpin no more. Now weren ve all frolic, und lauter guter ding, Und dirsty ash a broosh-pinder ven ve hear some glaesses ring; Foorst mild und sonft in de distants like de song of a nightingoll, Den a ringin und rottlin und clotterin ash de Gluck of Edenhall ? Hei ! how we roosh on de liquor ! hei ! how de kell- ners coorn ! Hei ! how we busted de bier kegs und poonished de Punsch a la Rhuni, Like lonely wafes at niitternight oopon some shiant shore ; Like an awful shtorni in de Wselder was de dirsty Deutschers' roar ! I pyed some carts for a dime abiece I pyed shoost fifdy-dwo. Dey were goot for bier, or schnapps, or wein py don- der how dey flew! 36 I ring de deck on de vaiters for liquor hot und cool, Und avery dime I blays a cart, py sliings, I rake de pool ! Und ash ve trinked so comforble, like boogs in any roog, De trompets blowed tan da ra del, und dere coom in a Maskenzug, A peaudiful brocession, soul-raisin und sooplime, De marinorbilds of de heroes of de early Sherman dime. Dere vent der gross Arminius, nrit his frau Thusnelda, too, De vellers ash lam de Romans dill dey roon mit noses plue, Den vollowed Quinctilius Varus, who carry a Roman yoke, Und arm-in-arm mit Gambrinus come der Allemane Chroc. Der alte Friedrich Rothbart, und Kaiser Karl der crate, Mit Roland und Uliverus ven shveepin on in shtatc ; Und Conradin whose &ad-full deat' shtill makes our heartsen pleed, Und all of dem oldt vellers aus deni Niblungen Lied. Und as dey niofed on, der Breitmann maked a tyfeled shplendid witz In anti-word to dis quesdion from de lofely 'Mina Schmitz : 37 " Vy ish id dey always makes in shtone dem vellers so andiquatet ?" u Yy dey set in de laps of Ages dill dey got lapi dated !" Und shoost ash de last of dis hisdory hat fonished troo de toor, Ve heardt a ge-screech, und Pelz Nickel coom howlin on de vloor ; Den de laties yell like der tyfel, und vly like gulls mit vings, Und der Peltz Nickel lick em mit svitches und ve laughed like averydings. I nefer hafe sooch laughen before dat I was geborn, Und Pelz Nickel ven 'twas ober he blow on a yaeger horn Und denounce do all de beople gesembled in de hall : Dat a Ghristmas dree vas vaiten mit bresents for oos all ! So ve vollowed him into de zimmer so quick ash dese vords he said, To kit dem peaudiful bresents, all gratis und on de dead, Und in facdt a shplendid Weihnachtsbaum mid lighds ve druly found, Und liddel kifts dat ge-kostet a benny abieceall round! Dere vas Rika Stange die Dessauerinn a maedchen shtraigdt und tall, She got a bicture of Cupid boot she didn't see it at all 38 Dill der Breitinann say init his shplendid shtyle dat all de laties dake : " Dat pend of de bow is de Grecian pend dat you so ofden make I" Anoder scharmante laty, Maria Top, did got A schwingin mid a ribbon, a liddle benny pot; Boot Breitmann hafe id de roughest of any oder mans 5 For he kit a yellow gratle mit a liddle wooden Hans. Den next Beethoven's Sinfonie, die orkester did blay ; Adagio allegro andante cantabile. We sat in shtill commotion so dat a bin mighdt drops, Und de deers roon town der Breitmann's sheeks mit- whiles he was trinkin schnapps. Next dings ve had de Weinnachtstraum gesung by de Liederkranz* Denn I trinked dwelf schoppens of glee wine to sed me oop for a tanz ; Dis dimes I tanz wie der Tyfel we shriek de volk on de vloor ; Und boost right indo de sooper room for ve tanzt a hole troo de door ! Denn 'twas rowdy tow und hop-sossa, ve hollered, Mann und Weib ; "Rip Sam und sed her oop acain ! ve're all of de Shackdaw tribe !" 39 Venn Pelz Nickel blow his trump once more, und peg peg oos to shtop our din, Und troo de open toor dere corned nine denpins marchin in. Nine vellers tressed like denpins dey goed to der end' der hall, Und dwo Hans Wurst, shack-puddin glowns dey rolled at em mit a pall. De palls vas painted peaudiful ; dey vas vifdeen feet aroundt ; Und de rule of de came : whoefer cot hidt moost doom- pie on de croundt. Somedimes dey hit de denpins somedimes de oder volk Und pooty soon de gompany was all laid out in shoke ; Boot I tells you vot it makes oos laugh dill ve py nearly shplits, Ven der Breitmann he roll ofer and drip up de Mina Schmitz. Dis lets itself in Sherman pe foost-rade word-blayed on, Und mongst oos be giftet vellers you pet dat it vas tone! How der Breitmann mighdt drafel as brideman on de roadt dat ish breit and krumm; Here de drumpets soundt, and pair-wise ve goed for de sooper room. 40 Ve goed for ge-roasted Welsh-hens, ve goed for ge- spickter hare, Ye goed for kartoffel salade mit butter brod Kaviar; Ye roosh at de lordtly sauer-kraut und de wurst vich lofely shine, Und oh mein G-ott in Kimmel ! how we goed for de Mosel-wein ! Und troonker more, und troonker yet, und troonker shtill got ve, In rosy lighdt shtill drivin on agross a fairy see ; Den madder, wilder, frantic-er I proked a salat dish ! Und shoost like roarin elefants ve tanzt aroundt de tish. I'fe shvimmed in heafenly troonks pefore boot nefer von like dis, De morgen-het-ache only seemt a bortion of de bliss. De while in trilling peauty roundt like heafenly vind- harps rang A goosh of golden melodie de Rhineweinbechers Klang. De meltin minnesingers song a droonk of honeyd rhyme De b'wildrin-dipsy Bardic shants of Teutoburgic dime, Back to de runic dim Yalhall und Balder's foamin mead ; Here ents in heller glorie schein des Breitmann's Weihnachtslied ! Der Freischuets. WIE geht's my frients if you'll allow, I sings you rite avay shoost now Some dretful shdories vitch dey calls DER FREYSCHUETZ ; or, de Magic Balls. Wohl in Bohemian land it cooms, "Where folks trinks prandy mate of plums; Dere lifed ein Yager Maxerl Schmit, Who shot mit goons and nefer hit. TInd dere vas one old Ya^er, who O / Says, " Maxerl, dis vilt nefer do ; If you should miss on trial day, Dere'l pe de tyfel den to pay. "If you do miss, you shtupid goose, Dere'l pe de donnerwetter loose ; For you shant have mine taughter's hand, Nor pe de Hertshog's yagersmann." It coomed pefore de day was set, Dat all de chaps togeder met, Und Maxerl fired his bix and missed, Und all de gals cot round and hissed. 6 (41) 42 Dey laughed pefore, and hissed pehind ; Put one chap, Kaspar, set : "tont mind! I dells you what, you stuns 'em alls, If yoost you shoot mit magic palls." "De magic palls oh vot is dat !" "I got dem in mine hoontin hat ; De're plack as kohl und shoot so true, Oh dems de sort of palls for you. " You see dat eagle flyin high, Ein hoondred miles up in de sky ? Shoot at dat eagle mit your bix, You kills him dead as doonderbtix." " I tont pelieve de dings you say." " You fool," says Kass, u den plaze avay !" He plazed avay, ven sure as blood, Down coomed de eagle in de mud. " was ist das ?" said Maxerl Schmit, " Vy dat's de eagle vat you hit. You kills um vhen you plaze avay ; But dat's a ting you nix ferstay. " Und you moost go to make dem balls To de Wolf's Glen ven mitnight falls ; Dow knowst de shpot? alone and late" " ja I knows him ganz foost-rate." 43 " But denn I does not likes to go Among dem dings." Says Kass, "Ach sho ! I'll help you fix dem tyfel chaps; Like a goot fellow take some schnapps ! "(HilfZamiel! liilf!} Here, trink some more !" Den Kass vent shtomping roundt de floor, Und coomed his hoomboogs ofer Schmit, Till Max said "Nun ich gehe mit /" All in de finster mitternockt, When oder folks in shleep vas locked, Down in de Wo/fsschlucht Kass did try His tyfel-strikes und hexerei. Mit skools and pones he made a ring, De howls and spooks pegin to sing; Und all de tyfels oonter ground Coome breaking loose and rushin round. Den Maxerl cooms along ; says he, " Mein G-ott ! what dings is dis I see ! I dinks de fery tyfel und all Moost help to make dem magic pall. " I vish dat I had nix cum rous, Und shtaid mineself in bett to house." " Hilf Zamiel !" cried Kass, "you whelp ! You red Dootch tyfel coom und help !" 44 Den up dere coomed a tredful shtorm, De todtengrips aroundt did schwarm ; De howl joomped oop und flapt his vings, Und turned his het like averydings. Up troo de groundt here coomed a pot, Mit leadt und dings to make de shot ; Und hoellisch fire in crimson plaze, Und awful schmells like Schweitzer kses'. Across de scene a pine shtick flew, Mit seferal jail-pirds fastent to, Six treadful jail-birds, mit deir vings Tied to de shticks mit magic shtrings. All troo de air, all in a row, Die wilde Jugd was seen to go; De hounts und deer all made of pone, Und hoonted by a skilleton. Dere coomed de dretful shpectre pig "Who shpitten fire, away did dig; Und fiery drocks und tyfel-snake A scootin troo de air tid preak. But Kass he tidn't mind dem alls, But casted out de pullet palls ; Six was to go as dey wouldt like, De sevent moost for de tyfel strike. 45 At last oopon de trial day De gals coomed round so nice and gay ; Und denn dey goes and makes a tanz Und stinged apout de Jungf&rnkranz. Und denn der Hertshog dat's de Duke Cooms down und dinks he'll take a look; " Young mans," to Maxerl denn says he, " Shoost shoot dem dove upon dat dree I" Denn Maxerl pointed mit de bix "Potzblitz I" says he, " dat dove I'll fix !" He fired his rifle at de Taub, When Kass rolled over in de Staub. De pride she failed too in de dust, De gals dey cried de men dey cussed : De Hertshog says, "It's fery clear Dat dere has peen some tyfels here ; "Und Max has shot mit tyfels-Sfei. Pfui! die verfluchte Hexerei ! Maximilian ! du Gehst nit mit rechten Dingen zu !" But den a hermits coomed in late, Says he, "I'll fix dese dings foost-rate." Und telld de Hertshog dat young men Will raise der tyfel now and denn, De Duke forgifed de Kaspar dann Und made of him em Yagersmann, What shoots mit bixen gua and pfeil, Und talks apout de Waidnannslieil. Und denn de pride she coomed to life, Und cot to pe de Maxerl's wife ; Den all de beoples cried Hoorah ! Das ist recht brav ! und hopsasa I MORAL. Py dis dings may pe oondershtood Dat vhat is pad vorks ofden goot : Or, Maximilia Maximil- ibus curantur if you will. Breitmann about Town. DER Schwackenhanimer coom to down, Pefore de Fall vas past, Und by der Breitmann drawed he in Ash dreimals honored gast. Led's see de sighdts ! In self und worldt, Dere's " sighdts " for him, to see, Who Selbsianschaungsvermoegen hat, Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vented to de Opera Haus, Und dere dey vound em blayin'. Of Offenbach, ( der open brook,) His show spiel Belle Helene. " Dere's Offenbach, Sebastian Bach, Mit Kaulbach, dat makes dree : I alvays likes soosh brooks ash dese ." Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vented to de Bibliothek, Vhich Mishder Astor bilt : Some pooks vere only en broschure, Und some vere pound und gilt. " Dat makes de gold dat makes de sinn, Mit pooks, ash men, ve see, De pest tressed vellers gilt de most :" Said Breitemann, said he. (47) 48 Dey vent to see an edider, Who'd shanged his flag und doon, Und crowed oopon der oder side, Dat very afdernoon. De anciends vorshipped wetter-cocks, To wetter fanes pent de knee } Pow down, mein Schwackenhammer, pow I" Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vented py a panker's hause, Und Schwackenhammer shvore, Id only vant a pig red shield Hoong oop pefore de toor ] One side of red, one side of gold, Like de knighd's in hisdorie 11 De schildern of dat schild is rich," Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vent oonto a bicture sale, Of frames wort' many a cent, De broberty of a shendleman, Who oonto Europe vent. " Dont gry he'll soon pe pack again Mit anoder gallerie : He sells dem oud dwelf dimes a year," Said Breitemann, said he. 49 Dey vented to dis berson's house, To see his furnidure, Sold oud at aucdion rite afay, Berembdory und sure. " He geeps six houses all at voiice Each veek a sale dere pe, G-otts ! vat a dime his vife moost hafe !" Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vent to vind a goot cigar, Long dimes dey roamed apout, Von veller had a pran new sort, De fery latest out. :i Mein freund I dinks you errs yourself De shmell ish oldt to me ; De Infamias Stinkadores brand, "- Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vented to de virst hotel, De prandy make dem creep, A trop of id's enough to make A brazen monkey veep. " Dey say a viner house ash dis, Vill soon ge-bildet pe, Crate Gott ! vot can dey mean to trink ?" Said Breitemann, said he. 7 50 Dey vented droo de Irish shtreeds, Dey saw vrom haus to haus, Und gountet oop, t pout more or less, Vive hoondred awful rows. " If all dese liddle vights dey waste, Could von crate pattle pe, Gotts ! how de Fenian funds vouldt rise !' Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vent to see de Kidualisds, Who vorship Gott mitt viewers, In hobes he'll lofe dem pack again, In winter among de showers. "Then de Pacific railroat's done Dis dirigs imbrofed vill pe, De joss-sticks vill pe santal vood," Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vent to hear a breecher of De last sensadion shtyle, ; Twas 'nough to make der tyfel weep To see his "awful shmile." il Vot bities dat der Fechter ne'er Yas in Theologie. Dey'd make him pish op in dis shoorsh," Said Breitemann, said he. 51 Dey vent indo a shpordin' crib, De rowdies cloostered dick, Dey ashk him dell dem vot o'glock, Und dat infernal quick. Der Breitmann draw'd his 'volver oud, Ash gool ash gool couldt pe, 11 Id's shoost a goin' to shdrike six/' Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vent polid'gal meedins next, Dey hear dem rant and rail, Der bresident vas a forger, Shoost bardoned oud of jail. He does it oud of cratitood, To dem who set him vree : "Id's Harmonic of Inderesds," Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vent to a clairfoyand witch, A plack-eyed handsome maid, She wahrsagt all der vortunes denn " Fife dollars, gents !" she said. "Dese vitches are nod of dis eart', Und yed are on id, I see Der Shakesbeare knew de preed right veil," Said Breitemann, said he. 52 Dey vented to a restaurand, Der vaiter coot a dash ; He garfed a shicken in a vink, Und serfed id at a vlash. "Dat shap knows veil shoost how to coot, Und roon mit poulterie, He vas copitain oonder Turchin vonce," Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vented to de Yoman's Righds, Yere laties all agrees, De gals should pe de voters, Und deir beaux all de votees. " For efery man dat nefer vorks, Yon frau should vranchised pe : Dat ish de vay I solf dis ding/' Said Breitemann, said he. Dey vented oop, dey vented down, 'Tvas like a roarin' rif'er, De sighds vas here de sighds vas dere- Und de vorldt vent on forefer. " De more ve trinks, de more ve sees, Dis vorldt a derwisch pe ; Das Werden's all von whirling droonk," Said Breitemann, said he. Schnitzel's Philosopede. PARDT FIRSET, HERR SCHNITZERL make a philosopede. Yon of de pullyest kind ; It vent mitout a vheel in front, And hadn't none pehind. Yon vheel vas in de mittel, dough, And it vent as sure as ecks, For he shtraddled on de axle dree Mit de vheel petween his leeks. Und ven he vant to shtart id off He paddlet mit his veet, Und soon he cot to go so vast Dat avery dings he peat. He run her out on Broader shtreed, He shkeeted like der vind, Hei ! how he bassed de vancy crabs, And lef dem all pehind ! De vellers mit de trottin nags Pooled oop to see him bass; De Deutschers all erstaunished saidt : " Potztausend ! Was ist das ?" Boot vaster shtill der Schnitzerl newed On mit a gashtly smile; C53) 54 He tidn't tooch de dirt, py shings ! Not vonce in hal-f a mile. Oh, vot ish all dis eartly pliss ? Oh, vot ish man's soocksess ? Oh, vot ish various kinds of dings ? Und vot ish hobbiness ? Ye find a pank-node in de shtreedt, Next dings der pank is preak ; Ye foils, und knocks our outsides in, Yen ve a ten shtrike make. So vas it mit der Schnitzerlein On his philosopede. His feet both shlipped outsideward shoost Yhen at his extra shpeed. He felled oopon der vheel of course; De vheel like blitzen flew : Und Schnitzerl he vas schnitz in vact For id shlished him grod in two. Und as for his philosopede, Id cot so shkared, men say, It pounded onward till it vent Ganz teufelwards afay. Boot vhere ish now de Schnitzerl 's soul ? Yhere dos his shbirit pidc ? In Himmel troo de entless plue, It takes a medeor ride. Schnitzerl's Philosopede. PAEDT SECONET, VEN Breitmann hear dat Schnitzerl Yas quardered into dwo, Und how his crate philosopede To 'm teufel had gone flew; He dinked and dinked so heafy As only Deutschers can, Denn saidt, " Who mighdt beliefet Dis ish de ent of man? " De human souls of beoples Exisdt in deir idees, Und dis of Wolfram Schnitzerl Mighdt dravel many vays, In his Bestimmung des Menschen Der Fichte makes peliefe Dat ve brogress oon-endly In vot pehind we leafe. " De shbarrow falls ground-downwarts. Or drafelsto de West; De shbarrows dat coom afder Bild shoost de same oldt nest. Man hat not vings or fedders, Und in oder dings, 'tis saidt, (55) 56 He tont coom oop to shbarrows ; Boot on nests he goes ahet. " vliest dou troo bornin vorldts Und nebuloser foam, By monsdrous mitnight shiant forms Or vhere red tyfels roam, Or vhere de chosts of shky rackets Peyond creadion flee ? Vhere'er dou art, oh Schnitzerlein I Crate saint ! look down on me ! " Und deach me how you maket Dat crate philosopede, Vitch roon dwice six mals vaster Ash any Arap shteed, Und deach me how to 'stonish folk Und knock dem out de shpots. Come pack to eart, O Schnitzerlein, Und pring it down to dots !" Shoost ash dis vort vent outvarts Hans dinked he see a vlash, Und unterwards de dable He doomple mit a crash, Und to him, moong de glaesses, Und pottles ash vas proke, Mit his het in a cigar box, An foice from Himmel shpoke : 57 Adsum Domme Breitmann ! Herr Capitain here I pe ! So dell me right honeste Quare inquietasti me ? Te video inter spoonibus, Et largis glassis too, Cerevisia repletis, Sicut percussus tonitru!" Derm Breitmann ansver Schnitzerl : " Coarctor nimis. See! Siquidem Philistiim Puynant adversum me. Ergo vocavi te, Ash Saul vocavit Sam uel, ut mi ostendcres Quidteufelfaciamf" Denn der shpirit, in Lateinisch Saidt " Benc dat's de dalk ! Non habes in hoc shanfi/ A shingle et some chalk ? JVoTi video inkum et calamos : (I shbose some bummer ghdole 'em) Levate oculos tuos, son Et aspice ad linteolum !" 58 Den Breitmann see de chalk-piece Vitch riset from de floor, Und signet a philosopede Alone oopon de toor, De von dat Schnitzerl fabricate, Und oonderneat he see : Probate inter equites : " Try dis in de cavallrie." Den Breitmann shtoot ooprightly Und leanet on a bost, [peen Und saidt ; " If dis couldt, shouldt hafe It vouldt mighdt peen a chost ! Boot if it pe nouomenon, Phenomenoned indeed, Or de soobyective obyectified, I'fe cot de philosopede." Denn out he seekt a plack schmidt Ash vork in iron shteel ; To make him a philosopede Mit shoost an only vheel. De dings vas maket simple, Ash all crate idees should pe ; For 'twas noding boot a gart vheel Mit a two veet achsel-dree. 59 De dimes der Breitmann doomple In learnin for to ride, Yas ofdener ash de sand grains Dat rollen in de tide. De dimes he cot oopsetted In shdeerin lefdt und righdt, Vas ofdener as de cleamin shdars Dat shtud de shky py nighdt. Boot de vorstest of de veadures In dis von vheel horse, you bet, Ish dat man couldt go so nicely Pefore he got oopset, Some dimes he go like plazes Und toorn her, extra-fein, Und denn shlop ofer dis is vhat Hafe kill der Schnitzerlein. Soosh droples as der Breitmann hafe To make dis 'vention go, Vas nefer seen py mordal man Oopon dis vorldt pelow. He doompled righdt, he doompled lefdt, He hafe a tousand toomps, Dere nefer vas a gricket-ball Vot got soosh 'fernal boomps. GO Boot ash lie shvear't he'd do it, He shvore id should pe done, Dough he schimpft und fluchte laesterlich, He visht he'd ne'er pegun. JfifaHagelt Blitz!' Kreuzsakrament ! He raaket de houser ring, Und hoped de Schnitzerl pe verdammt For deachin him dis ding. Nun goot ! Ad last he got it. Und peaudifool he goed, Dis day, saidt he, " I'll stonish folk A ridin on de road ; Dis day py shinks I'll do it ! Und knock dings out of sight !" Ach weh ! for Breitmann dat day Vas not pe-markt mit vhite. De noompers of de Deutsche folk Dat coom dis feat to see, I dink in soper earnest-hood, Mighdt not ge-reckonet pe. For miles dey shtood along de road, Mein Gott ! but dey vas dry ; Dey trinked den lager-beer shops oop, Pefore der Hans coom py. 61 Yhen all at vonce drementous gries De fery country shook ; Und beoples shkreemt : " Da ist er ! Schau ! Dere ish der Breitmann ! Look !" Mein Gott ! vas efer soosh a shoudt? Yas efer soosh a gry ? Ven like a brick-bat in a vight, Der Breitemann roosh py. mordal man ! Yy ish id, dow Hast passion to go vast ? Yy ish id dat de tog und horse Likes shbeed too quick to last ? De pugs, de pirds, de pumple-pees, Und all dat ish, 'twould seem, Ish nefer hoppy boot, exsept "When pilin on de shteam. Der Breitmann flew ! Yon mighdy gry, Ash he vent scootin bast, Yon derriple, drementous yell Dat day de virst and last. Yot ha ! vot ho ! Yy ish id dus ? Yot makes dem shdare aghast ? Yy cooms dat vail of wild tespair ? Ish somedings got gesmasht ? 62 Yea efen so. Yea, ferily Shbeak, soul ! It is dy biz ! Der Breitmann shkeet so vast along, Dey fairly heard him whizz. Yen shoost oopon a hill-top point It caught a pranch ge-pent, Und like an opple vrom a svitch, Afay Hans Breitmann vent. Yent troo de air a hoondert feet, (Allowin more or less) Denn pobb pobb pobb a mile or dwo ; He rollet along I guess. Say hast dou seen a gannon ball Half shpent, shtill poundin on ; Like made of gummi-lasticum ? So vent der Breitemann. Dey bick him up dey pring him in No wort der Breitmann shpoke. Der doktor look he shvear erstaunt Dat nodings ish peen proke ! He rollet de rocky road entlong, He pouncet o'er shtock und shtone ? You'd dink he'd knocked his outsides in, Yet nefer preak a pone ! 63 All shtill Hans lay bevilderfied Nor seemet to mind de snaps, Nor moofed, oontil der medicus Hafe dose him veil mit schnapps. De schmell voke oop de boetry Of tays ven he vas young, Und he murmulte de frogmends Of an sad romandic song : " As summer pring de roses, Und roses pring de dew, So Deutschland gifes de maidens Yot fetch de bier to you. Komm Maidlein ! Rothe Wsenglein ! Mit a wein glass in your paw ! Ve'll ged troonk amoong de roses Und lie soper on de shdraw ! " As winter prings de ice-wind, Dat plow o'er burg und hill, Hard times pring in de lantlord, Und de lantlord pring de bill. Boot sing Maidlein ! Kothe Waengelein ! Mit wein glass in your paw ! Ve'll ged troonk amoong de roses Und lie sober on de shdraw \" Dey dook der Breitmann homewarts, Boot efer on de vay, He nefer shbeaket no man, Und noding else could say : Boot "Maidlein Rothe Wsengelein ! Mit wein glass in her paw, We'll ged troonk amoong de rosen Und lie soper on de shdraw !" Dey laid der Hans im Bette, Peneat de eider-doun, Und sempled all de doktors Vot doktored in de town. Dat ish, de Deutsche Aertzte, For Breitmann alfays says, De Deutschers ish de onlies Mit orig;inell idees. Dere vas Doktor Moritz Schlinkenschlog, Dat vork ash cafttopath, Und der learned Cobus Schoepfskopf, Dat use de inilchy bath"; Und Korschalitschky aus Boehmen, Yot cure mit slibovitz, Und Wechselbalg from Berlin, Who only 'tend to fits. 65 Dere vas Strobbich aus Westfalen Who mofe all eart'ly ills Mit concentrirter schinken juice, Und Pumpernickel pills ; Und a bier-kur man from Munich, Und a grape-curist from Khein, Und von who shkare tisease afay Mit dose of Schlesier wein. So dey meed in consooldation Mit Doktor Winkeleck, Who brackdise "renovation " Mit sauerkraut und speck. Und dat no man shouldt pe shlightet Or treatet ash a tunce, Dey 'greed to try deir systems Oopon Breitmann all at vonce. Dat ish, mit de excepdion, Of gifin Schlesier wein ; For de remedy vas danger-full On von who trink from Khine. Ash der teufel once declaret Yen he taste it on a shpree, Dat a man to trink soosh liquor Moost a born Silesian pe. 9 So de all vent los at Breitmann, Und woonderfool to dell, He coomed to his gesundheit, Und pooty soon cot veil, Some hinted at Natura Mit de oldt vis sanatrix, Boot each dokter shvore Tie cured him, Und de rest were Taugenix. I know not vot der Breitmann More newly has pegun, Boot dey say he dalks day-daily Mit Dae a of de Sun. Dey dalk in Deutsch togeder, Und volk say de ent vill pe Philosopedal changes In de Union cavallrie. Gott help de howlin safage ! Gott help de Indi-an ! Shouldt Breitmann choin his forces Mit Sheneral Sheridan. Und denn to sing his braises Acain I'll gife a lied Hier hat dis dale an ende Of Breitmann's philosopede. A Ballad apout de Rowdies. DE inoon shines ofer de cloudlens. Und de cloudts plow ofer de sea, Und I vent to Coney Island, Und I took mein Schatz mit me. Mine Schatz, Katrina Bauer, I gife her mein heart und vordt; Boot ve tidn't know vot beoples De Dampsschiff hafecot on poard. De preeze plowed cool und bleasant, We looket at de town Mit sonn-light on de shdeebles, Und wetter fanes doornin round. Ye sat on de deck in a gorner Und dropled nopody dere, Yen all around t oos de rowdies Peginned to plackguard und schvear ! A voman mit a papy Yas sittin in de blace; Yon tooket a chew tobacco Und trowed it indo her vace. De voinan got coonvulshons, De papy pegin to gry ; Und de rowdies shkreemed out a laffin, Und saidt dat de fun vas " high." (67) 68 Pimepy ve become some hoonger Katrina Baur und I, I openet de lit of mine pasket, Und pringed out a cherry bie. A cherry kooken mit pretzels, " How goot !" Katrina said, Yen a rowdy snatched it from her, Und preaked it ofer mine het. I dells him he pe a plackguart I gifed him a biece my mind, I vouldt saidt it pefore a tousand, Mit der teufel himself pehind. Den he knocks me down mit a sloong-shot, Und peats me plack and plue ; Und all de plackguardskickme, .Dill I vainted, und dat ish drue. De rich American beoples Don't know how de rowdies shtrike Der poor hardt-workin Sherman, He knows it more ash he like. If de Deutsche speakers und bapers Are sometimes too hard on dis land, Shoost dink how de Deutsch kit driven Along by de rowdy's hand ! I Wein Geist. STOOMPLED oud ov a daf'ern, Berauscht mit a gallon of wein, Und I rooshed along de Strassen, Like a derriple Eberschwein. Uod like a lordly boar-big, I doompled de soper folk ; Und I trowed a shtone droo a slidreed lamp, Und bot' of de classes I proke. Und a gal vent roonin' bast me. Like a vild coose on de vings, Boot I gatch her for all her skreechin, Und giss her like afery dings. Und denn mit an board und a shdore-box. I blay de horse-viddle a biece, Bill de neighbours shkreem u deat' !" und " murder !" Und holler aloudt " bolice ?" Und vhen der crim night waechter Says all of -dis foon moost shtop, I oop mit mein oombrella, Und schlog him ober de kop. (69) '0 I leaf him like tead on de bavemend, Und roosh droo a darklin' lane, Dill nioonlighd und tisdand musik, Pring me roundt to my soul again. Und I sits all oonder de linden, De hearts-leaf linden dree ; Und I dink of de quick ge-vanisht lofe Dat vent like de vind from me. Und I voonders in mine dipsy hood, If a damsel or dream vas she ! Dis life ish all a lindens Mit holes dat show de Plue; Und pedween de finite pranches, Cooms Himmel light shinin troo. De blaetter are raushlin' o'er me, Und efery leaf ish a fay, Und dey vait dill de Windsbraut comet, To pear dem in Fall afay. Und I look at a rock py de rifer, There a stein ish of harpe form, Year dausend in, oud, it shtandet Und nopody blays but de shtorm. 71 Here vonce on a dimes a vitches, Sooni melodies here peginned, De harpe ward all zu steine, Die melodic ward zu wind. Und so mit dis tox-i-cation, Vitch hardens de outer Me ; Uber stein and schwein, de weine, Shdill harps oud a melodic. Boot deeper de Ur-lied ringet, Ober stein und wein und svines, Dill it endet vhere all peginnet, Und alles wird ewig zu eins, In de dipsy, treamless slooraper Vhich units de Nichts und Seyns. Breitmann in Politics. I. The Nomination, VHEN ash de var vas ober, Und Beace her shnow-wice vings, Yas vafin o'er de coondry (In shpods) like afery dings; Und heroes vere revardtet, De beople all pegan To say 'tvas shame dat nodings Vas done for Breitemann. No man wised how id vas shtartet, Or where der fore shlog came, Boot dey shveared it vas a cinder, Dereto a purnin shame : " Dere is Schnitzerl in de Gustom-IIouse Potzblitz ! can dis dings pe ? Und Breitmann he hafe nodings : Vot sights is dis to see ! " Nod de virst ret cendt for Breitmann ! Ish dis do pe de gry On de man dat sacked de repels Und trinked dena high und dry ? (72) 73 By meine Seel' I shvears id, Und vot's more I deglares id's drue, He vonce gleaned out a down in half an oor, Und shtripped id strumpf und shoe. " He was shoost like Koenig Etzel, Of whom de shdory dell, Der Hun who go for de Romans Und gife dem shinin hell, Only dis dat dey say no grass vouldt crow Vhere Etzel's horse had trot, Und I really peliefe vere Breitmann go De hops shpring oop, bei Gott !" If once you tie a dog loose, Dere ish more soon gets arount, Und wenn dis vas shtartedt on Breitmann It was rings aroom be-foundt ; Dough vliy he moo,s"hafe somedings Vas not by no mean glear, Nor tid id, like Paulus' confersion, On de snap to all abbear ! Und, in facdt, Balthazar Bumchen Saidt he couldtent nicht blainly see Vy a veller for gadderin riches Shood dus revartedt pe : 10 74 Der Breitmann own drei Houser. Mit a wein-handle in a stohr, Dazu ein Lager- Wirthsch aft. Und sonst was somedings more. Dis plasted plackguard none-sense Ye couldn't no means shtand, From a narrow-mineted shvine's kopf, Of our nople captain grand : Soosh low, goarse, betty bornirtheit A shentleman deplores ; So ve called him verflucliter Hundsfott Und shmysed him out of toors. So ve all dissolfed dat "Breitmann Shouldt hafe a nomination To go to de Legisladoor, To make some dings off de nation ; Mit de helb of a Connedigut man, In whom ve hafe great hobes, Who hat shange his boledics fivdeen dimes. Und derefore knew de robes. II The Committee of Instruction. DENN for our Insdructions Comedy De ding vas protocollirt, By Docktor Emsig Grubler, Who in Jena vonce studiret ; Und for Breitmann his instrugtions De Comedy tid say Dat de All out-going from de Ones Yash die first Moral Idee. Und de segondt crate Moral Idee Dat into him ve rings, Vas dat government for avery man Moost alfays do avery dings ; Und die next Idee do vitch his mindt Esbecially ve gall, . Ish to do mitout a Bresident Und no government at all. Und die fourt Idee ve vish der Hans Vouldt alfays keeb in new, Ish to cooldifate die Peaudifool, Likewise de Goot and Drue ; Und de form of dis oopright-hood In proctise to present, He most get our little pills all bassed Mitout id's gostin a cent. (75) 76 Und die fifV Idee ash learnin Ish de cratest ding on eart, And ash. Shoopider der Vater To Minerfa gife ge-birt' Ye peg dat Breitmann oonto oos All pooblic tockuments Yich he can grap or shteal vill sendt Franked mit his gompliments. Die sechste crate Moral Idee Since id fery veil ish known Dat mind ish de resooldt of food, Ash der Moleschott has shown, Und ash mind ish de highest form of G-ott, As in Fichte dot' abbear He moost alfays go mit de barty Dat go for lager-bier. Now ash all dese instrugdions Yere showed to Misder Twine, De Yangee boledician, He say dey vere fery fine : Dey vere pesser ash goot ; und almosdt nice A tarnal tall concern ; Boot dey hafe some little trawpacks, Und in fagdt weren't worth a dern. 77 Boot yed, mit our bermission, If de shentlemans allow Here all der Shermans in de room Dake off deir hats und pow He vouldt gife our honored gandidate Some nodions of his own, Hafing managed some elecdions Mit sookcess, as veil vas known. Let him plow id all his own vay, He'd pet as sure as born, Dat our mann vouldt not coom out of Der liddle endt der horn, Mit his goot proad Sherman shoulders- Dis maket oos laugh, py ?hink ! So de comedy shtart for Breitmann's Nota bene afder a trink ! Ill Mr. Twine Explains Being " Sound Upon the Goose." DERE in his crate corved oaken shtuhl Der Breitmann sot he : He lookt shoost like de shiant In de Kinder hishdorie ; Und pefore him, on de tische, Vas vhere man alfays foundt it Dwelf inches of goot lage*, Mit a Boemisch glass aroundt it. De foorst vordt dat der Breitmann spoke He maked no sbeech or sign : De next remark vas, " Zapfet aus .'" De dird vas, (i JSchenket ein /" Vhen in coomed liddle Gottlieb Und Trina mit a shtock Of allerbest Markgraefler wein Dazu dwelf glaeser Bock. Denn Misder Twine deglare dat he Vas happy to denounce Dat as Copdain Breitmann suited oos Egsockdly do an ounce, (78) 79 He vas ged de nomination, And need nod more eckshblain : Der Breitmann dink in silence, And denn roar aloudt, CHAMPAGNE I Den Mishder Twine, while trinken wein, Mitwhiles vent on do say, Dat long insdruckdions in dis age A r ere nod de dime of tay ; Und de only ding der Breitmann need To pe of any use Vas slioost to dell to afery mans He's soundt oopon der coose. Und ash dis little frase berhops Vas nod do oos bekannt, He dakes de liberdy do make Dat ve shall oondershtand, And vouldt tell a liddle shdory Vitch dook blace pefore de wars : Here der Breitmann nod to Trina, Und she bass around t cigars. ' Id ish a longe dime, now here, In Bennsylvanien's Shtate, All in der down of Horrisburg Dere rosed a vierce depate, 80 'Tween vamilies mit cooses, Und dose vhere none vere foundt If cooses might, by common law, G-o squanderin aroundt ? " Dose who vere nod pe-gifted Mit gooses, und vere poor, All shvear de law forbid dis crime, Py shings and cerdain sure ; But de coose-holders teklare a coose Greadt liberty tid need, And to pen dem oop vas gruel, Und a mosdt oon-Christian teed. " Und denn anoder party Idself tid soon refeal, Of arisdograts who kepd no coose, Pecause 'twas not shendeel : Tey tid not vish de splodderin geese Shouldt on deir pafemends bass, So dey shoined de anti-coosers, Or de oonder lower glass !" Here Breitmann led his shdeam out : " Dis shdory goes to show Dat in poledicks, ash lager, Virtus in medio. 81 De drecks ish ad de pottom De skoom floads high inteed ; Boot das bier ish in de mittle, Says an goot old Sherman lied. " Und shoost apout elegdion-dinies De scoom und drecks, ve see, Have a pully Wahl-verwandtschaft, Or election-sympathie." " Dis is very vine/' says Misder Twine, tl Vot here you indroduce : Mit your bermission, I'll grack on Mit my shdory of de coose. " A gandertate for sheriff De coose-beholders run, Who shvear de coose de noblest dings Vot valk peneat de sun ; For de cooses safe de Cupidol In Rome long dimes ago, Und Horrisburg need safin Mighty pad, ash all do know. " Acainsd dis mighdy Goose-man Anoder veller rose, Who keepedt himself ungommon shtill Yen oders came to plows ; 82 Und if any ask how 'twas he shtoodt. His vriends wouldt viiik so loose, Und visper ash dey dapped deir nose ' He's soundt oopon de coose ! 11 ' He's 0. K. oopon de soobject; Shoost pet your pile on dat ; On dis bartik'ler quesdion He intends to coot it fat/ So de veller cot elegded Pefore de beople foundt On vitch site of der coose it vas He shtick so awful soundt. " Dis shdory's all I hafe to dell," Says Misder Hiram Twine ; " Und I advise Herr Breitmann Shoost to vight id on dis line." De volk who of dese boledics Would oder shapters read, Moost waiten for de segondt pardt Of dis here Breitmann's Lied. IV. How Breitmann and Schmit were Reported to be Log-Holling. ID happenet in de yar of crace, Ven all dese dings pegan, Dat Mislider Schmit, de shap who rooned Acainsd der Breitemann, Yas a man who look like Mishder Twine So moosh dat beoples say Dey pliefe dey moost ge-brudert pe G-ott weiss in vot a vay ! Und id vas also moosh be-marked Vitch look shoost like a bruder Dat ven Twine vas vork on any side Der Schmit vas on de oder : A fery gommon dodge ish dis Mit de arisdocracie ; So dat votefer cardt toorns oop, Id's game for de familie ! Nun, goot ! Howefer dis mighdt pe, 'Tvas cerdain on dis hit Der Twine vas do his teufelest To euchre Mishder Schmit ; Und Schmit, I criefe to say, exglaimed : (< Gloll darn me for a fool, But I'll smash old Dutch to cholera fits And rake the eternal pool !" (83) 84 So dey cot some liddle ladders, Ash brifate ash could pe, Vitch Breitinann writed long agone To friendts in Germany ; Und dey brinted dem in efery vay To make de beoples laugh, Und comment on dem in de shtyle Dat u sports" call '-slasher-gaff." Dere to as vash known py shoodshment Und glearly ascerdaind, Dat Breitmaun hafe lossed money Py a valse und schwindlin friend So dey roon it troo de newsbapers, Uud shbeech do make pegan, Dat Breitmann shtole de gelt himself Und rop der oder man. Boot de ding dat jam de hardest On de men dat bull de vires, Und showed dat Captain Breitmann Shtood pedween dwo heafy vires, Yas, pecause he vas a soldier Von could see id at a clanse Dey had pud him in a tisdrigt Vhere he hadn't half a shanse. 85 For ash de pold solidaten Ish more prafe ash oder mans, Dey moost lead de hope verloren Und pattle in de vans ; Und ash defeat ish honoraple To men in honor shtrict, Dey honor dern py puttin em There dey're cordain to pe licked. Boot dis dimes it shlopped over, Tvas de dird or secondt heat Dat a soldier in dis tisdrigt Had been poot oop und beat : So de Plue Goats dink it over Und go quietly to vork : De bow ven too moosh aufgespannt Vlies pack ward mit a yerk. Now Mishder Twine deglaret on dis De ding seemed doubtenfull, Boot mitout delay he dock de horns So poldly py de bull, Und shpread de shdory eferyvhere, Dill folk to pliefe pegan, Dat Mishder Schmit had sold de vight Unto der Breitemann ! 86 He fix de liddle tedails How inoosh der Schmit hafe got For sellin out his barty To let Breitmann haul de pot ; Und he showed a brifate ledder From Breitemann to Schmit, Vhere he bromise him for Congress If he shoost let oop a bit. Der Twine vas writet dis ledder ; For der Copitain Breitemann Yould nefer hafe shtood soosh hoompoogks Since virst his life pegan ; He hat tone some rough dings in der war, In de ploonder-und-morder line, Boot vas hoockelperry-persimmoned Mit dese boledics of Twine. Howefer, dis ledder vorket foorst-rade Mit de Merigans pest of all, For dey mostly dinked it de naturalest ding As efer couldt pefall ; For to sheat von's own gonstituents Ish de pest mofe in de came, Und dey nefer sooposed a Dootchman Hafe de sense to do de same V. How they held the Mass Meeting. DERE'S nodings in dis vorldt so pad, Ash all oov us may learn, Boot may shange from dark to lighthood, If loock should dake a doom So it happenet mit Breitmann, Who in shpite of sin und Schmit, Grontrified ad shoost dis yooncture Do make a glucky hit. Dey hat sendet out some plackarts To de Deutsche buergers all (N. B. Dish ish not mean plackarts, Boot de pills dey shtickon de vail), To say dat a Massenversammlung Or a meeding of all de masses Yould be held in de Arbeiter-Halle, To consisd of de Sharman classes. Now dey gife de brintin of de pills To a new gekommene man, Who dinked dat Demokratisch Vas de same ash Repooblican : Gott in Himmel weiss where he hid himself On dish free Coloompian shore Dat he scaped de naturalizationisds, Und hadn't found out pefore. (87) 88 Boot to dis Deutsche brinter, De only tifference he Petween Repooblicanish Und Demokratisch tid see, Vas dat von vash dwo ledders longer ; So he dook shoost vot seem pat To make de poster handsome Likewise a liddle fat. How ofden in dis buzzlin life Small grubs grows oop to vings ! How ofden shoost from moostard seet A virst-glass pusiness shprings ! Vant klein komt men tot't cjrootc, Ash de Hollanders hafe said : Mit dese dwo leddors Breitemann Caved in der Schmitsy's head. VI Breitmann's Great Speech. Dis tale dat Schmit hafe sell de mgJit Cot so much put apout Dat many of his beoples vere In fery tupious toubt ; 'Pove all, dose who were on de make, And easy change deir lodge, Und, pein awfool smart demselfs, Pelieve in every dodge. Vhen de meeding vas gesempled, Und dey found no Schmit vas dere, Dey looket at von anoder Mit a ganz erstaunished air ; But dey saw it glear as taylight, Und around a vink dere ran, Yen pefore dem rose de shiant form Of Copitain Breitemann ! Den Breitemann vent los at dem : " He could nichts well exbress De rapdure dat besqueezed his hearts De wonnevol hoppiness To meed in friendlich council And glasp de hand of dose Who had peen mit most oonreason Und unkindtly galled his foes. 12 (89) 90 " Berhaps o'er all dis shmilin eart' He vould say it dere and deu Soosh shpecdagles couldt nod pe seen Of soosh imbartial men, So tefoid of pase sospicion, So apove all betty dricks, Ash to gome und lisden vairly To a voe in poledicks ; " Dat ish to say, a so-galled voe For lie feeled id in his soul Dat de Principles vitch mofed dem Vere de same oopon de whole ; But he lack a vord to exbress dem In manners opportunes " Here a veller in de gallery Gry oud, oonkindly, " Shpoons !" Und dere der Breitmann goppled him : " If shpoons our modifes pe, Dere's not a man pefore oos Who losscd a shpoon by me : Far rader had I gife you all A shpoons to eaten mit, Und I hope to get a ladle for Mmefriendt, der Mishder Schmit" 91 Dis fetch das Haus like doonder It raised der teufel's dust, Und for sefen-lefen minudes Dey ooplauded on a bust ; Und de blokes dat dinked of hedgin Saw a ring as round as ; So dey boked cash oder in de rips, Und said, " I dold jou so !" For dis d'lusion to de ladle Vas as glear asli city milk, Und drawd it on dejbeoples So vine ash flossen silk, Dat Hans und Schmitvere rollin locks, Und de locks were ready cut ; Only Breitmann hafe de liddle end, Und Schmitsy dake de butt ! Den Breitemann he crack onward : " If any 'lightened man Will seeken in his Bibel, He'll find dat a publican Is a barty ash sells lager ; Und das ding is ferry blain, Dat a re -publican ish von Who sells id 'gain und 'gain. 92 " Now since dat I sells lager, I gant agreen mit De demprance brinciples I hear Distriputet to Schmit ; Boot dis I dells you vairly, Und no one to teseife If I were Schmit, I'd pliefen Shoost vot der Sclimit peliefe. " And to mine Sherman, liperal friends I might mention in dis shpot Dat I hear an oonfoundet rumor Dat der Schmit peliefe in Gott ; Und also dat he coes to shoorsh Mit a prayer-book for salfadion : Ivould not for die welt say dings To hoort his repudadion. " Und nodin is more likely Dat it all a shlander pe, So also de rumor dat ven young He shtoody divinidy : I myself, ash a publican, Moost pe a sinner by fate, Und in dis sense I denounce myself Ash Re-publi-candidate ! 93 61 Und dat ve may meed in gommon, I declare here in dis hall Und I shvears mineself to hold to it, Fotefer may pef'all Dat any man who gifes me his fote Yotevefer his boledicks pe Shall alfayspe regartet Ash bolidigal friendt py me." (Dis voonderfol condescension Pring down drementous applause, Und dose who catch de nodion Grife most derriple hooraws ; Eshbecially some Amerigans Ash vas shtandin near de door, Und who in all deir leben long Nefer heard so moosh sense pefore.) " Dese ish de brincibles I holts, And dose in vitch I run : Dey ish fixed firm and irnnmtaple Ash te course of de 'ternal sun : Boot if you ton't abbrove of dem Blease nodice vot I say I shall only pe too happy To alder dem right afay. Und unto my Demogratic friendts I vould very glearly shtate Since dis useless mit oop-gecleared minds To hold a long depate Dat dere's no man in de cidy Dat sells besser liquor ash I, Und I shtand de tread f& free-gradis Vhenefer mine friendts ish try. i A<1 finem in de ende I moost mendion do you all, Dat a dootzen parrels of lager bier Ish a-gomin to dis hall : Dere ish none of mine own barty here, Boot we'll do mitout deir helfs ; Und I kess, on de whole, 'twill peshoost sogoot, If ve trink it all ourselfs." Soosh dremcntous up-loudation Pefore was nefer seen, Ash dey shvored dat Copitan Breitmann Vas a brick-pat, and no sardine ; Und dey trinked demselfs besoffen, Sayin, " Hope you wird sookceed !" De nexter theil will pe de ent Of dis historisch lied. VII The Author Asserts the Vast Intellectual Superiority of Germans to Americans. DERE'S a liddle fact in hishdory Vich few hafe oonderstand Dat de Deutschers are, de jure, De owners of dis land ; Und I brides mineself unspeakbarly Dat I foorst make be-known De primordial cause dat Columpus Vas derivet from Cologne ; For ash his name vas Colon, It fisibly does shine Dat his elders are geboren been In Co-logne on der Rhein ; Und Colonia pein a colony, It sehr bemarkbar ist Dat Columbus in America Was der firster colonist. Und ash Columbus is a tofe, Id is wort de drople to mark Dat a bidgeon foorst tiscofered land A-vlyin from de ark ; Und shtill wider in de peginnin, Mitout de leastest toubt, A tofe vas vly ofer de wassers Und pring de vorldt herout. (95) 96 Ash mine goot oldt teacher der Kreutzer To me tid often shbeak, De mythus of name rebeats idself (Vich ve see in his Symbolik*) ; So also de name America, If ve a liddle look, Vas coom from de oldt King Emerich In de Deutsche Ileldenbucli. Und id vas from dat very HeldenbucJi How voonderful id run ! Dat I shdole de "Song of Hildebrand, Or der Vater und der Son," Und dishtripute it to Breitmann, For a reason vitch now ish plain, Dat dis Sagen-Cyclus, full-endet, Pring me round to der Hans again ! Dese laws of un-endly un-wigglin Ish so teep und broad und tall Dat nopody boot a Deutscher Have a het to versteh dem at all ; Und should I write mine dinks all oud, I ton't peliefe, indeed, Dat I mineself vould versteh de half Of dis here Breitmannslied. 97 Ash de Hegel say of his system, Dat only von mans knew Vot der teufel id meandt, und Tie could't tell; Und der Jean Paul Richter too, Who said, u Grott knows I meant somedings When foorst dis buch I writ, Boot Grott only wise vot de buch means now, Vor I have vergotten it." And all of dis be-wises So blain ash de face on your nose, Dat der Deutscher hafe efen more intellects, Dan he himself soopose ; Und his tifference mit de over-again vorldt, Ash I really do soospect, Ish dat oder volk hafe more soopose , Und lesser intellect. Yet ooprightly I gonfess it Mitout ashkin vhy or vhence Dere ish also dimes vhen Amerigans Hafe ge-shown sharp-pointed sense ; Und a fery outsigned example Of genius in dis line Yas dishblayed in dis elegdion Py Mishder Hiram Twine. VIII Showing How Mr. Hiram Twine "Played off" on Smith. VIDE LICET : Dere vas a fillage Whose vode alone vouldt pe Apout enoof to elegdt a man, Und gife a majority ; So de von who couldt scoop dis seddlement Yould make a pully hit ; Boot dough dey vere Deutschers, von und all, Dey all go von on Schmit. Now it happenet to gome to bass Dat in dis liddle town De Deutsch vas all exshpegdin Dat Mishder Schmit coom down, His brinciples to fore-setzen Und his idees to deach, (Dat is, fix oop de brifate pargains) Und telifer a pooblic sbeech. Now Twine vas a gyrotwistive cuss, Ash blainly ish peen shown, Und vas alfays an out-findin Yotefer might pe known ; Und mit some of his circumswindles He fix de matter so Dat he'd pe himself at dis nieetin And see how dings vas go. (98) 99 Oh shtrangely in dis leben De dings kits vorked apout ! Oh voonderly Fortuna Makes toorn us insite out ! Oh sinkular de luck-wheel rolls ! Dis liddle meeding dere Fixt Twine ad perpendiculum Shoost suit him to a hair ! Now it hoppenit on dis efenin De Deutschers, von und all, Yere avaitin mit impatience De openin of de ball ; Und de shates of nite vere fallin Und de shdars begin to plink, Und dey vish dat Schmit vouldt hoorry, For d'vas dime to dake a trink. Dey hear some hoofs a-dramplin, Und dey saw, und dinked dey knowed, Der bretty greature coomin, On his horse along de road ; Und ash he ride town in-ward De likeness vas so plain Dey donnered out, " Hooray for Schmit!" Enough to make it rain. 100 Der Twine vas shtart like plazes; Boot oopshtarted too his wit, Und he dinks, " Great Turnips ! what if I Could bass for Colonel Schmit ? Gaul dern my heels ! Til do if, Und go the total swine ! Oh, Soap-balls ! what a chance !" said dis Dissembulatin Twine. Den 'twas " Willkomm ! willkomm, Mishder Schmit !" Kingsroom on efery site ; Und " First-rate ! How dy-do yourself?" Der Hiram Twine replied. Dey ashk him, " Come und dake a trink ?" But dey find it mighdy queer Yen Twine informs dem none boot hogs Yould trink dat shtinkin bier ; Dat all lager vas nodings boot boison ; Und ash for Sherman wein, He dinks it vas erfounden Exshbressly for Sherman schwein ; Dat he himself vas a demperanceler Dat he gloria in de name ; Und atfisedem all, for tecency's sake, To ero und do de same. 101 Dese bemarks among de Deutschers Vere apout ash veil receife Ash a cats in a game of den-bins, Ash you may of coorse peliefe : De heat of de reception Vent down a dootzen tegrees, Und in place of hurra ws dere vas only heard t De rooslin of de drees. Und so in solemn stille Dey scorched him to de hall, Vhere he maket de oradion Vitch vas so moosh to blease dem all Und dis vay he pegin it : " Pefore I furder go, I vish dat my obinions You puddin-het Dootch should know. "Und ere I norate to you, I think it only fair We should oonderstand each other Prezactly, chunk and square. Dere are boints on vhich ve tisagree, And I will plank de facts I don't go round slanganderin My friendts pehind deir packs. 102 So I beg you dake it easy If on de raw I touch, Vhen I say I can't apide de sound Of your groontin, shi-shing Dutch. Should I in the Legisladure As your slumgullion shtand, I'll have a bill forbidding Dutch Troo all dis 'versal land. "Should a husband talk it to his frau, To deaf he should pe led ; If a mutter breat' it to her shild, I'd bunch her in de head ; Und I'm sure dat none vill atfocate Ids use in public schools, Oonless dey're peastly, nashdy, prutal, Sauerkraut-eatin vools. Here Mishder Twine, to gadder breat, Shoost make a liddle pause, Und see sechs hundert gapin eyes, Sechs hundert shdarin chaws, Dey sh tan den erstarrt like frozen ; Yon faindly dried to hiss; Und von set : " Ish it shleeps I'm treamin ? Gottausend! vat ish dis ?" 103 Twine keptet von eye on de vindow, Boot poldly went ahet : " Of your oder shtinkin hobits No vordt needt hier pe set. Shtop goozlin bier shtop shmokin bipes- Shtop rootin in de mire ; Und shoost un-Dutchify yourselfs : Dat's all dat I require." Und denn dere coomed a shindy Ash if de shky hat trop : " Trow him mit ecks, py doonder ! Go shlog him on de kop ! Hei! Shoot him mit a powie-knifes ; Go for him, ganz and gar ! Shoost tar him mit some fedders ! Led's fedder him mit tar!" Sooch a teufel's row of furie Yas nefer oop-kickt before : Soom roosh to on-climb de blatform Soom hoory to fasten te toor : Von veller vired his refolfer, Boot de pullet missed her mark : She coot de cort of de shandelier : It veil, und de hall vas tark ! 104 Oil veil was it for Hiram Twine Datnimply he couldt shoomp; Und veil dat he light on a misthauf, Und neferfeel deboomp; Und veil for him dat his goot cray horse Shtood sattled shoost outside; Und veil dat in an augenblick He vas off on a teufel's ride. Bang ! bang ! de sharp pistolen shots Vent pipin py his ear, Boot he tortled oop de barrick road Like any mountain deer : Dey trowed der Hiram Twine mit shteins, Eut dey only could be-mark Von climpse of his vhite obercoadt, Und a clotterin in de tark. So dey all versembled togeder, Ein ander to sprechen mit, Und allow dat sooch a rede Dey nefer exshpegd from Schmit Dat he vas a foorst-glass plackguard, And so pig a Lump ash ran ;- So, nemine contradicente y Dey vented for Breitemann. 105 Und 'twas annerthalb yar dereafter Before der Schmit vas know Vot maket dis rural Ullage Go pack oopon him so ; Und he schvored at de Dootch more schlimmcr Ash Hiram Twine had tone. Nota bene : He tid it in earnesht, Vhile der Hiram's vas pusiness fun. Bootvhen Breitmann heard de shdory How de Ullage hat peen dricked, He shvore bei Leib ur,d Leben He'd rader hafe been licked Dan pe helpet bei soosh shumgoozlin ; Und 'twas petter to pe a schwein Dan aschwindlin honeyfooglin shnake, Like dat lyin Yankee Twine. Und pegot so heafy disgoosted Mit de boledicks of dis land Dat his friendts couldn't barely keep him From trowinoop his hand, [poot : Vhen he helt shtraidt flush, mit an ace in his Vich phrase ish all de same, In de science of de pokerology, Ash if he got de game. 14 106 So Breitmann cot ele^tet, O ? Py vollowin de vay Dey manage de elegdions Unto dis fery day ; Vitch shows de Deutsch Dummehrliclikeit y Also de Yankee " wit :" Das ist das Abenteuer How Breitmann lick der Sclimit GLOSSARY. Ach toeh An exclamation of pain. Alia veil All the while. Alles wird ewig zu eins, ( Ger.) And all for ever becomes ore. Alter ScJnced'. (old Swede) A familiar phrase, like old fellow. Anti Word ; Antwort Answer. Antworded, (Ger.) Answered. Annerthalb Yar, Anderthalb TaJir, (Ger.) Year and a half. Arbeiterhalle Working-man's hall. Aroom, Herum Around. Arminius, (Herman.) The Duke of the Cheruskans, and destroyer of the Roman legions under Varus, in Teutoburg Forest. Aus, (Ger.) Out. Aufgesjtannt, (Ger.) Stretched, bent. Aitgenblick,(Ger.) Twinkling of an eye. Bach, (Ger.) Brook. Barrick, (Pennsylvania Ger. for Berg,} Mountain. Barrel-hell pars Parallel bars; a part of the gymnastic appa ratus. Bey if ted Beschenkt. Bei Leib und Leben, (Ger.) By my body and soul. Bekannt, Beknown Known. Berauscht, ( Ger.) Intoxicated. Beatimmung des Menschen Vocation of Man. One of Fichte's works. Remarks, (Ger. Bemcrkitngen) Remarks. Bemerkbar, ( Ger.) Observable. Be-mark, (Ger. Bemerken} Observe. Bender, (Amer.) A spree; a frolic. To "go on a bender" to go on a spree. Beso/en, (Ger.) Drunk. Bewises, (Ger. Beiceist, from Beuceisen] Proves. Bibliothek Library. Blaetter, (Ger.)- Leaves. Blei Lead. (107) 108 Blx, Buchse, (box) Rifle. Bess in Brown Bess is the equivalent of the German Buchse, (Brown being merely an alliterative epithet;) French, base tube; Flemish, buis. (Still found in blunderbuss, arquebuss.) See Blackley's " Word Gossip." Blitzen, (Ger.) Lightning. Blokes, (English) Men. Bock A strong kind of German beer. Boemisch Bohemian. Bornirtheit Limitedness of capacity. Bool Bull. Bowery A street in New York, inhabited principally by Germans. Breit, (Ger.) Broad. Bring it down to dots Reduce it to figures. Broosli-plnder Brushbinder, (Ger. Buerstenbinder.) Brushmaker. The brushmakers are supposed, probably on account of their throat-parching business; to be always thirsty. Brisner Prisoner. Butterbrod, (Ger.) Buttered Bread. Bummer, (Amer.) A low fellow; applied, during the late civil war in the United States, to hangers-on of the army ; probably a corruption of the German bummler (loafer.) By Nearly ; Beinahe Almost, nearly. Came Game. Canyon, (Span. Carton) A narrow passage between high precipi tous banks, formed by mountains or tablelands, often with a river running beneath. These occur in the great Western prairies, in New Mexico and California. Change their lodge Shift from one " society" to another. Chroc An Alemannic hero, who ravaged Gaul. Spoken of by Ger- gory, of Tours, as Chrocus. Chunk A short thick piece of wood, or of anything else ; a chump. The word is provincial in England and colloquial in the United States. Cinder, Suende German for sins. Comedy Committee. Cotiradin The last of the imperial house of the Hohenstaufen beheaded at Naples, in 1268. Coot (To cut) a dash, (to come out a "swell,") to dress extrava gantly. Crate Great. Da ist er! Schrtu! There he is ! look ! Deck The cards used in a game. Dcmperanceler, Temper enzler Temperance man. 109 Dessauerinn A woman from Dessau. Dink he, they think; my dinks my thoughts. D inked He, they thought. Dishtriputet Instead of attributed. Dissembulatin' Dissembling. Dissolfed Instead of resolved. D'lusion Instead of allusion. Donnered, (Ger.) Thundered. Donnerwetter, (Ger.) Thunder and lightning. Doonderblix Thunder and lightning. Doon Tune. Drawed he in (literal rendering of the German, Zog er ein,) Ein- ziehen, to take up one's abode with. Dreimal, (Ger.) Three times. Drocks Drakes, dragons; (Ger.) Drachen. Dummehrlichkeit, (Ger.) Honest simplicity. Eberschwein, (Ger.) Wild boar. Einander to sprechen mit, (Ger.) To speak together. Eldern, (Ger. Eltern) Parents. Emerich King Emerich, hero of a German legend. Eimiij Gruebler, (Ger.)Assidious inquirer; Plodding old fogy. Entlang, (Ger.) Along. Erfounden, (Ger. Erfunden) Invented. Erstarrt, (Ger.) Aghast. Erstaunished, erstaunt Astonished ! Erwaitin', (Ger. Erwartend) Awaiting, expecting. Fackel Tanz, (Ger.) Torch dance. Fancy crabs Fast horses. Fanes, Wetterfahnen Weathercocks, (double entente.) Fat Printer's term. Feldwebel, (Ger.) A sergeant. Fichte German philosopher. Finster, (Ger.) Dark, dismal. Foil To fall. JWftdL Foon Fun. Foors First. Foreschlag, (Ger. Vorschlag] Proposal. Foresetzen To set, put (lay) before an audience. Freie, (Ger.) Free. Freischarlinaer, (Ger. FreiscTiaerler) A member of a Free Corps; especially applied to those who belonged to the Free Corps formed in Southern Germany during the revolution in 1848. 110 FreiecTiuetz, (Ger.) Free shot; one who shoots with charmed bul lets; the name of Karl Maria Von Weber's celebrated opera. Friederich Eothbart Frederic Barbarossa, the great emperor of Germany, and one of the German Legendary heroes. He is supposed to sleep in the Kytinauser in Thuringia, and to awaken one day, when he will bring great glory over Ger many. Frolic Frb'hlich, merry. Gambrinuak mythical king of Brabant, supposed to have been the inventor of beer. Gander tate Candidate. Ganz und gar, (Ger.) Altogether ; all over. Ganz, (Ger.) Ganz. Gast, (Ger.) Guest. Ge-birt', (Ger. Geburt) Birth. Ge-bildet Built, with the German augment. Geborn Born, with the augment. Ge-brudert, (formed like ge-schwister.) Brothers. Gehst nit mit rechten Ding en zn Dost not do it by any natural means ; there is witchcraft in it. Gekommene Arrived, (newly arrived.) Gelt, (Ger. Geld) Money. Gensy broost, (Ger. Gdnsebrust] Goose-breast. Ge-roasted Roasted, with German augment. Gesembled Assembled, with the augment of the German preterite. Geshmasht Smashed, with German augment. Gespicked, (Ger.) Larded. Gesundheit, (Ger.) Health. Geanngverein, ( Ger.) Singing-society. Geskostet Cost, with the German augment. ffUt In the ordinary sensa, and also in the same verse, "gilt," implying the meaning of the German verb " gelten," to be worth something andr/mVf. Glee-wine, Gluhwein Hot spiced wine. Glueck, (Ger.) Luck. Glucky, (Ger. GluecklicJi) Lucky. GW Cool. Go-8creech,'Ge8chrei Bawling, clamour. Gott-full, gottcoll Glorious, divine. Gottallmachty, (Ger. Gottallinachtiy) God Almighty. Gott weiss. (Ger.) Heaven knows! Gottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth, (Ger.) Another variety of big swearing. Ill Gott's-doonder, (G-er. Gott's Donner] God's thunder. See also Gott's tauaend, a thundering sort of oath, but never preceded by lightning, for it is only used as a kind of expletive to ex press great surprise, or to give great emphasis to words which, without it, would seem to be capable of none. Gettstausend, (Ger.) An abbreviation of Gott's tausend Donner- wetter (God's thousand thunders), and therefore the compara tive of Gott's doonder; with most of those who use it, a mean ingless phrase. Grod, yerard straight. Gross, (Ger.) Great. Guestfriendtlick, gasffrenndlicJi Hospitable. Gummi lasticum India Rubber. Go von Go one; bet on him. Gyrotwistive Snaky. Hagel! Blitz! Kreuz Sakrament ! (Ger.) Another variety of swearing. Hand-shoe, (Ger. HandscTinJi) Glove. Hans Wurst Merry Andrew ; Zani ; Jack Pudding the latter word being a literal translation of the German Hans Wurst; the pudding in either case referring to the sausages, or the pretended sausages, which the Merry Andrew always ap peared to be swallowing by the yard or fathom. See Blackleg's Word Gossip. Haul te pot Take the stakes. Hause House. Hegel Name of the German philosopher. Heldenbuch Is the title of a collection of epic poems, belonging to the cycle of the German Saga. Heller Glorie schein Bright gloriole. Herout, (Ger. Heraus) Out. Herr Je, (Ger.) An abbreviation of Herr Jesus (0 Lord !); gene rally only used by those who are fond of meaningless excla mations. Hertszen Herzen ; hearts. Hexerei Witchery, sorcery. Hertzhog, Herzog, (Ger.) Duke. Himmel, (Ger.) Heaven. Hobbiness Happiness. Hoellitch, (Ger.) Hellish. Honey fooglin', Honeyfucjcjle Is believed to be English slang. In America it means blarneying, deceiving. Hop-sossa, (Ger.) int. Hop ; heyday. 112 Hoockle perry, Persimmoned "A huckleberry over my persim mon." Surpassed; outdone. Hundsfott, (Ger.Vulg.) Mean scoundrel ; hound. Joss-stick A name given to small reeds, covered with the dust of odoriferous woods, which the Chinese burn before their idols. Jungfernkranz, (Ger.) Bridal garland. Kaiser Karl Charlemagne. Kartoffell, (Ger.) Potato. Kellner, (Ger.) Waiter. Kinder, (Ger.) Children. Knasterbart, (Ger.) Literally, tobacco-beard; a tough, old bearded, old-fashioned fellow. Kneiperei, (Ger.) Revel. Knock dem out de shpots Knock the spots out of them; astonish, Kcenig Etzel King Attila. Komm maidelein! Eoihe waengelein, (Ger.) Come maiden, red cheeks. Kop, (Ger. Kopf} Head. Kopf, (Ger.) Head. Kreutzer Fr. Creutzer, distinguished professor in the University of Heidelberg, author of a great work on " Symbolik." Krumm, (Ger.) Crooked. Breit und krumm Broad and crooked. Here, a pun on bride and groom. Kummel, Kimmel, (Ger.) Schnapps; dram. Lager Wirthschaft, (Ger.) Beerhouse. Lager, Lagerbeer, (Ger. Lagerbier, i. e. Stockbeer.) L am To drub ; beat soundly. Lateinisch Latin. Laughen, lachen Laughing. Lebenlang, (Ger.) Life-long. Libby The notorious Coniederate prison at Richmond, Va. Liddle Pills Legislative enactments. Liederkranz, ( Ger.) Glee-union. LiederlicJi, (Ger.) Loose, reckless, dissolute. Lighthood, (Ger. LichtJieif] Licht. Los, losgehen, (Ger.) To go at a thing, at somebody. Loosty, (Ger. Lustig) Jolly : merry. Lump, (Ger.) Ragamuffin. Maedchen, (Ger.) Girl; maiden. Marmorbild Marble statue. Markgraefler A pleasant light wine grown in the Duchy of Baden. Maskenzug, (Ger.) Procession of masked persons. Massenversammlung, (Ger.) Mass meeting. 113 Meine Seel', (Ger.) By my soul. Mein Freund My Friend. Mineted Minded. Minnesinger Poet of love, a name given to German lyric poets, who'flourished from the twelfth to the fourteenth centuries. Mitternoclit, JM itternacht Midnight. Mitternight, Mitternacht Midnight. Mitout Without. Mizt hauf, (Ger.) Dung-hill. Moleschott Author of a celebrated work on Physiology. Morgen-het-ache Morning headache. Murmulte Murmured. Nibelungen Lied The lay of the Nibelungen ; the great German national epos. Nix, (Ger. Nichts) Nothing. Nix cum raus Had not come out. Nor ate To speak in an oration. No sardine Not a narrow-minded, small-hearted fellow. Nun Now. Oder Other. On-did, to on-do lateral translation of the German anthem ; to dun, to put on. On de snap All at once. On fang, (Ger. An fang} Beginning. OoiwJipeakbnrly, (Ger. unanssprechbarlich) Inexpressibly. Oonendly Undenlich. Oop-gecleared, (Ger. Aitfgeklaert) Enlightened. Oopriyht-hood. (Ger. Avfrichtigkeit) Uprightness. Oopnghtg, (Ger. Aufviehtig] Upright. Oopshtardet. (Ger. Aufy eschar ft) Upstarted. Orkester Orchestra. Out-signed, (Ger. amgezeicltnete} DiFtinguished, signal. Over again Uebrigen The remainder ; a rest. Pabst, Der Pabst lelt, &c. " The Pope he leads a nappy life/' &c., beginning of a popular German song. Pelznickel, Nick, Nickel! St. Nicolas is supposed, on the night preceding his name-day, the sixth of December, to pass over the house-tops on his long-eared steed, and having baskets suspended on either side filled with sweets and playthings, and to drop down through the chimneys presents for those children who have been good during the year, but birch-rods for those who have been naughty, would not go to bed early, or objectetj to being washed, &c. In the expectation of his 15 114 coming, the children put, on the eve of St. Nicolas day, either a shoe, or a stocking, or a little basket, into the chimney-piece of their parent's bed-room. We may remark, by the way, that St. Nicolas is the Christian successor of the heathen Nikudr, of ancient German mythology. In America he has become confused with Christkinder and Christkinkel. Pesser, besser. (Ger.) Better. Pfeil, (Ger.) Arrow. Philoaopede Velocipede. Plue goats Blue coats ; soldiers. Poker A favorite game of cards among Western gamblers. Pokal, (Poculum) Gohlet. Potzblitz, (Ger.) int., The deuce. Potztausend ! Was ist das f Zounds ! What is that ? Poulterie Poultry. Poussiren To court. Pretzel, (Ger.) A kind of fancy bread, twist or the like. Prezackly Precisely,) exactly. Protocollirt, protocolliren To register, record. Pumpernickel A heavy, hard sort of rye-bread. PyeTo buy. Raushlin', rauschend Rustling. Reb An abbreviation of rebel. Redakteur Editor. Rede, (Ger.) speech. Rheinweinbechers Klang The Rhine wine goblet's sound. Richter, (Jean Paul, Fr.) Distinguished German author. Ring A political clique or cabal. Roland One of the paladins of Charlemagne. Rollin' locks Rolling logs : mutually aiding. Rouse, (Ger. Heraus) Out; come out. Rosen, (Ger.) Roses. Sagen Cyclus Cycle of legends. Sass, Sassy, Sassin' Sauce, saucy, &c. Sauerkraut, (Ger.) Sour krout. Saw it Understood it. Schimpft und fluent gar laesterlich, (Ger.) Swears and blasphemes abominably. Schinken, (Ger.) Ham. Schlesierwein, (Ger.) Wine grown in Silesia, proverbially sour. Schlog him ober de kop Knocked him on the head. Schnapps, (Ger.) Dram. Schnitz Pennsylvania German word for cut and dried fruit. 115 Schnitz, schnitzen, (Ger.) To chop, chip, snip. In Pennsylvania Schnitz or Suits, is applied to cut and dried fruit, apples, pears, or peaches. It was, I believe, Prof. Henry Coppee, who narrated, in Lippincott's Magazine, a story to tho effect that a school teacher once asked his clsss if an apple -were cut in two, what would the pieces be called.