ifferf
 
 * 


 
 IRON COUSINS
 
 "He wants wit, that wants resolved will 
 To learn his wit to exchange the bad for better" 
 
 Two GENTLEMEN OF VERONA.
 
 IRON COUSINS 
 
 BY 
 
 MRS. ALFRED SIDGWICK 
 
 Author of 
 
 "SALT OF THE EARTH," "THE DEVIL'S CRADLE," 
 etc. 
 
 NEW YORK 
 W. J. WATT & COMPANY 
 
 PUBLISHERS
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY 
 J. WATT & COMPANY
 
 IRON COUSINS 
 
 I WAS brought up by my Aunt Susan. I could not 
 remember much about my father and mother 
 because they sent me back to England when I 
 was five and remained in India themselves until they 
 died, a year or two later. Aunt Susan was my 
 mother's only sister and her name was Darrell. My 
 father's name was Danvers and Aunt Susan told me 
 when I came to years of discretion that his people had 
 disapproved of his marriage. I naturally asked why. 
 
 "The Danvers had money and we had none," said 
 Aunt Susan. "They objected to us and I objected to 
 them. I was as anxious to prevent the marriage as 
 they were, but nothing could be done." 
 
 She sighed. 
 
 "What happened?" I asked. 
 
 "They ran away together," she said under her 
 breath. "It was very wrong." 
 
 "I don't see anything wrong about it," I argued. 
 "What else could they have done ?" 
 
 "Waited; or given each other up." 
 
 "I don't think." 
 
 Aunt Susan looked at me suspiciously. I was not 
 allowed to use slang and as a rule I obeyed the law, 
 
 2031702
 
 2 IRON COUSINS 
 
 but sometimes the argot of the moment will say more 
 in three words than a well turned phrase would in 
 twenty. Every generation discovers this and Aunt 
 Susan herself had told me that when she was at 
 school she had been fined for telling another girl at 
 croquet to paddle her own canoe. 
 
 "I should love an adventure," I went on rather hur- 
 riedly. "If I had been born a hundred years ago I 
 would have been married at Gretna Green." 
 
 Aunt Susan dropped the subject and went on with 
 her knitting. She never encouraged talk about love 
 and marriage and I had grown up without thinking 
 over-much of either. I had been to a day-school and 
 made some friends there, but when I left school I 
 could not go out into the world because my aunt's 
 means were small. We lived in the smallest house in 
 the smallest square in Chelsea and everything in the 
 house was beautifully kept, but old, and, as regards 
 carpets, threadbare. We thought a great deal of our- 
 selves, though, in our old-fashioned way, and though I 
 had never been expressly told that the Darrells were 
 a better family than the Danvers, I somehow knew it. 
 
 "The Danvers, my dear, were in trade," said Aunt 
 Susan. "Cotton." 
 
 "Reels of cotton?" 
 
 "No. Calico. But that is long ago. They call 
 themselves landowners now." 
 
 I was rather interested in the Danvers but I never 
 could get Aunt Susan to say much about them. She 
 told me that I had an uncle living at a place called 
 Whincliffe, that he was a purse proud disagreeable 
 man, and that though he knew of my existence he 
 had never shown any desire to see me.
 
 IRON COUSINS 91 
 
 "You are his brother's only child ; so you may judge 
 for yourself what kind of people they are. However, 
 luckily you need not be beholden to them." I may 
 say here that I never have been and that I have never 
 yet set eyes on any of my father's relatives. 
 
 "I should love to earn my own living and be be- 
 holden to no one," I said one day soon after my 
 twentieth birthday. "Every able-bodied man and 
 woman should." 
 
 Aunt Susan closed her mouth in a way I understood 
 meant disagreement. I wish I could show her to you 
 in a mirror instead of trying to describe her in words, 
 most of them as defaced by use as coins long in circula- 
 lation. She was of middle height, spare of body and 
 neat looking. Her gray eyes were shrewd and her skin, 
 though wrinkled, was still fine and delicately colored. 
 She sat upright in her chair as her grandmother had 
 taught her to do and she was usually occupied with 
 her needle. Sir Walter Scott was her novelist. She 
 would read a modern novel with avidity and pro- 
 nounce it trumpery when she came to the end. But 
 she always read to the end. Some modern novels did 
 not come our way. Once when one did she called it 
 garbage. Another she burned ceremoniously. She 
 was a woman of strong opinions and said she hoped 
 she would always know good from evil. She was 
 born in 1850, but many of her ways and ideas be- 
 longed to an older time and as they were all fed to 
 me in my youth, I occasionally find myself behind my 
 generation. At least Isabella David told me I was 
 when I refused to become a militant suffragette and 
 go out with a hammer. 
 
 The Davids live in Hampstead now, in Fitzjohns
 
 4 IRON COUSINS 
 
 Avenue, but when I made friends with Isabella they 
 lived in Chelsea and we went to the same school. The 
 first time I asked Aunt Susan if I might bring Isabella 
 back with me to tea she hesitated. 
 
 "What is the child's name?" she inquired. 
 
 "Isabella David." 
 
 "Are they Welsh then?" 
 
 "No. They are foreigners. At least the parents 
 are." 
 
 My aunt gave the slight inarticulate sound that 
 expressed want of sympathy rather than disapproval. 
 However, I was allowed to ask Isabella to tea, and 
 when she had gone my aunt said that she seemed a 
 clever child but that she gave her opinion too freely. 
 In due course I was asked to tea at the Davids and 
 came back thrilled by the size and splendor of their 
 house and the generosity of Mrs. David who gave me 
 a big box of chocolates when I bid her good-by. That 
 was the beginning of a friendship that I still hope 
 will be life-long for, though I have always disagreed 
 with Isabella, I have always liked her. The Davids' 
 house and the people who gathered there let me into 
 a world I should not otherwise have known : a mixed 
 world of monied men and artists, all with ideas, ways 
 and features that I did not see at home. Many na- 
 tionalities met at that house and I have known Sun- 
 day evenings there that reminded me of the Tower 
 of Babel. It was queer, but interesting, and the chief 
 effect on me was to make me want to go abroad under 
 any circumstances and at almost any price. There 
 was an ugly little Hungarian who seemed to admire 
 me very much and I should certainly have married 
 him if I had had the chance, because he lived at
 
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 Vienna. Luckily he did not give me the chance but, 
 after courting me assiduously all through one winter, 
 went home in the spring and married his cousin. I 
 got the impression that if I thought the David milieu 
 foreign it had just the same feeling about me. I 
 received a warm welcome but I remained a stranger 
 amongst them, especially as regards marriage. Isa- 
 bella had brothers and sisters older than herself, and 
 in turn each one of these married. She used to tell 
 me quite openly what the financial arrangements were 
 in each case and even who paid for the furniture and 
 linen; and one day when the little Hungarian had 
 been markedly attentive she asked me if I thought 
 my aunt would give me a dowry. 
 
 "Certainly not," I said. "She can hardly make two 
 ends meet as it is." 
 
 "What a pity!" said Isabella. 
 
 "Englishmen do not expect a dowry with their 
 wives," I said, not that I knew much about it, but I 
 had heard the point discussed in this very house. 
 
 "I was not thinking of Englishmen," said Isabella. 
 "If your aunt would have given you a dowry you 
 might have married someone of a different nation- 
 ality." 
 
 "I want to go abroad," I admitted, "but I might not 
 want to stay there." 
 
 We were both about seventeen at that time and 
 Isabella still thought of marriage as the one and only 
 course for women. I can hardly tell you when she 
 changed her opinion and became so violently opposed 
 to it that she rejected a parti her parents were anxious 
 for her to accept. In the David household an eligible 
 young man was always talked of as a parti and Herr
 
 6 IRON COUSINS 
 
 Eichthal who lived in Berlin had come to London on 
 purpose to make Isabella's acquaintance and propose 
 to her. I did not like him. He was short and florid ; 
 he had curly black hair, and he wore a diamond ring. 
 He was both conceited and obsequious and said silly 
 rude things about England and the English. But he 
 was the only son of wealthy parents and Isabella told 
 me that if she married him she would have magnificent 
 pearls and diamonds and a large flat in a fashionable 
 part of Berlin. Great excitement prevailed in the 
 David family while Herr Eichthal paid his visit. The 
 married sons and daughters came and went, family 
 festivals were arranged, everyone connected with the 
 Davids sang Herr Eichthal's praises and pressure was 
 exerted on all sides to bring Isabella to her senses. 
 But when Herr Eichthal actually made his offer she 
 refused him point blank and gave as a reason to her 
 friends that he had nigger lips. They were all very 
 angry and so was Herr Eichthal. In fact he went off 
 to Berlin in a huff although Mr. and Mrs. David both 
 said that if only he would have a little patience they 
 would make Isabella see reason. Their argument was 
 that the young man could not help his lips and that 
 his income would insure her happiness, for they were 
 most affectionate parents and wished their children to 
 be happy. But the young people were both deter- 
 mined the man to take offense and the girl to let him 
 go. The affair was an eight days' wonder in Isabella's 
 little world and soon after, to my surprise, she was 
 allowed to go to India for a year as governess to a 
 little boy, the only child of intimate friends. Mrs. 
 David told me that when a girl had got herself talked 
 about, it was well for her to be away for a time and
 
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 that Isabella's position in India would be that of a 
 friend and not of a governess. I could not see why 
 Isabella should be banished for a year because she 
 had taken a dislike to Herr Eichthal's nigger lips, but 
 Mrs. David said that unfortunately her daugher had 
 not made up her mind at once and that for at least 
 a week the whole community had looked on the young 
 couple as engaged. At any rate, there had been more 
 talk and surmise than was pleasant and Isabella had 
 always wanted to see the world. 
 
 "So do I," I said. "I wish I could go to India!" 
 Mrs. David looked at me thoughtfully. 
 "Must it be just India?" she asked, and I answered 
 vaguely that I had not set my heart on India but 
 would go anywhere abroad if I got the chance. I 
 spoke without thinking seriously that I should get it 
 and without much consideration for Aunt Susan.
 
 II 
 
 1HAVE told you a little about the Davids and 
 Isabella because I am sure that half uncon- 
 sciously Isabella's year in India had an in- 
 fluence on my own adventure out of England. I be- 
 came accustomed to the idea that a girl might have 
 a sheltered home and yet, for one reason or the other, 
 decide to leave it for a time, and this idea was sup- 
 ported by my conviction that I ought to earn my 
 bread if I could. For there was no doubt that in 
 order to maintain me Aunt Susan had to deny herself, 
 and the older she grew the less I liked to see her 
 doing it. 
 
 Isabella came back from India in the spring of 
 1912 and I now found that she was more violent than 
 ever about the rights, or rather the wrongs, of women. 
 It was then that she discovered how old-fashioned 
 and reprehensible my views were and for a time she 
 dropped me. Mrs. David did not. She often asked 
 me to Hampstead partly, I believe, in the vain hope 
 that I should turn Isabella from her present ways. 
 But you cannot turn a person who wears mental 
 blinkers. Isabella looked neither to right nor to left 
 but followed her leaders. She said what they said, 
 did what they did, thought what they thought, in the 
 traditional feminine way. This made her an exas- 
 perating companion, especially as she gave herself airs
 
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 although she was behaving like a parrot. Her parents 
 bore with her in the kindliest way. Mr. David was 
 a very intelligent, rather silent man who would often 
 express what he felt by a little shrug or an ironical 
 light in his eye. He had a good deal of sympathy 
 with the militant women I believe, though he would 
 never admit this to his daughter. Probably he guessed 
 that she was only a parrot and not even a steadfast 
 one. Mrs. David worried about the dangers her 
 daughter incurred and the probable effect of prison 
 life on her health if ever she went to prison. None 
 of us foresaw the amazing volte-face she would per- 
 form and which was occasioned partly by a quarrel 
 with her superiors and partly by the coming of Mr. 
 Ernest Schlosser. You might think from his name 
 that he was a German. I made that mistake and gave 
 great offense to the whole David family. Mr. 
 Schlosser was English, everything that was most Eng- 
 lish, and I was not to forget it. Isabella had met him 
 in India and had been attracted, but the time was not 
 ripe perhaps. At any rate he had not spoken there 
 and he did speak here and from that moment all went 
 merry as a marriage bell in Fitzjohn's Avenue. The 
 inappreciative militant leaders who had seemed to 
 have little use for Isabella were cast off like old gloves 
 and with them went their opinions. My friend 
 actually quoted Chamisso and said that henceforth she 
 would belong wholly to Ernest and live to serve and 
 honor him. It was a dreadful come-down. However, 
 Isabella had been so restless and tiresome as a militant 
 woman and was so happy as an enslaved one that I, 
 who am doubtless rather weak in my mind, rejoiced 
 over her; and so did Aunt Susan. But she was as
 
 io IRON COUSINS 
 
 surprised as I had been to hear that Mr. Schlosser 
 was English. 
 
 Isabella brought him to see us one day and we liked 
 him very well. He was a personable man and he cer- 
 tainly spoke English without a foreign accent. But 
 the shape of his head was German and so was certain 
 pedantry of mind and manner. He was what some 
 people call well informed. He had the tabulated 
 knowledge you find in an encyclopedia and imparted 
 it with fluency on the smallest provocation. Unfor- 
 tunately, Aunt Susan asked him at what age he had 
 left Germany and this made him so angry that I felt 
 quite uncomfortable. His face turned red and he 
 replied that he had never been in Germany for an 
 hour. He had been born in London and educated at 
 Harrow and he was about to change his name to Sad- 
 dington since people attached such an absurd value 
 to names. He could not see himself why an English- 
 man called Schlosser should not be as English as one 
 called Pelissier or Novissimo. He knew men of both 
 names who were as English as any Smith or Brown. 
 
 Aunt Susan listened politely to this tirade and when 
 he had gone sighed a little, perhaps with weariness. 
 
 "How do you like Mr. Schlosser?" I asked. 
 
 "Very well," said she, "but not so well as he likes 
 the sound of his' own voice." 
 
 I agreed with her. The young man was too voluble 
 and instructive for my taste but luckily Isabella took 
 a different view. She grew happier and happier as 
 the time for her marriage approached and the de- 
 lightful realities of a trousseau and a newly furnished 
 house occupied her leisure. People like the Davids 
 have large ideas about clothes and furniture on the
 
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 occasion of a daughter's wedding. At least Aunt 
 Susan and I, with our frugal habits, thought so. Mr. 
 David gave Isabella five hundred pounds for her trous- 
 seau and another five hundred to furnish her small 
 flat. The whole German community to which she 
 belonged showered presents on her of jewelry and 
 household silver. But it was not only the London 
 friends and relations who combined to do the future 
 Mr. and Mrs. Saddington honor. From every town in 
 Germany came gifts and wedding guests. Dresdens, 
 Cohens, Schlossers, Mandelbaums! I could never re- 
 member all the names and the family reasons for ask- 
 ing them, but I heard a stout good natured Herr 
 Mandelbaum address the bridegroom as his lieber 
 Ernst. 
 
 "It was terrible," Isabella whispered to me. "When 
 he arrived he made a rush at Ernest and kissed him 
 before us all. He said his wife, who happens to be 
 Ernest's aunt, charged him to do it. We shall be 
 thankful when they are all safely back in Germany." 
 
 "I wonder why you asked them and why they 
 came," I said, and Isabella explained that her father 
 and mother had retrograde ideas and considered that 
 a wedding ought to be a family reunion and the in- 
 vitations as far flung as possible. 
 
 I was one of Isabella's bridesmaids. At first when 
 I was asked Aunt Susan demurred because she thought 
 that Isabella, like her sisters and brothers, would be 
 married in a synagogue. But she did not know Mr. 
 Saddington. (He was really changing his name and 
 he had asked us all to get used to it at once and not 
 wait for legal formalities.) He said that rather than 
 be married in a synagogue he would not be married
 
 12 IRON COUSINS 
 
 at all. Why not a mosque or a Hindoo temple? He 
 was a member of the Church of England (the highest 
 brand), and his wife would worship where he did. 
 There was an awful tow-row over this, Isabella told 
 me. Her father especially did not like it, and was 
 in two minds whether to let the marriage go on. But 
 Mrs. David harked back to the affair with Herr Eich- 
 thal and the talk there had been in the community 
 about it. She said they could not send Isabella to 
 the other end of the world again in order to silence 
 people's tongues, and how could it matter where she 
 was married as long as she was well and happily 
 married? The fuss men made of trifles! Ernest had 
 a right to his opinions and probably good reasons for 
 them. In India he had associated exclusively with 
 Christians. He had told her that he meant to do the 
 same thing in England. Everyone to his taste. She 
 herself did not judge people by the size and shape 
 of the noses God had given them, and though she lived 
 contentedly in this country she was not ashamed of 
 the one from which she came. 
 
 All these views and arguments presented a new 
 corner of the world to me, a corner in which you 
 were not English by blood but ardently desired to be, 
 partly from genuine affection for everything English 
 and partly from a discontent with the realities of your 
 origin that no doubt was snobbish. I liked Mr. and 
 Mrs. David better than I liked Mr. Saddington, for 
 I could not see that it mattered where you came into 
 the world so long as you bore yourself as creditably 
 in it as Isabella's parents did. I thought the wedding 
 would be a trying time for the bridegroom and no 
 doubt there were painful moments, especially at the
 
 IRON COUSINS 13 
 
 reception after the ceremony when several elderly 
 male relatives were determined to kiss him as well as 
 the bride, and showed temper because he stood bolt 
 upright and refused to be kissed. My sympathies 
 were with him but Herr Plessen, a middle-aged man 
 standing beside me, said that he found Mr. Sadding- 
 ton's manners cold and unnatural. 
 
 Herr Plessen had been introduced to me by Mrs. 
 David as a Christian from Hamburg and I had been 
 told beforehand that he was one of Ernest's senior 
 partners and that I should please my friends if I 
 paid a little attention to him. He was in London on 
 business it seemed, and it was considered necessary 
 or polite to ask him to the wedding although Ernest 
 said that he was extremely anti-Semite and would 
 feel like a fish out of water. He looked to me more 
 like a giant amongst pigmies, for he was a head and 
 shoulders taller than anyone else there ; but I gathered 
 from his detached manner and moments of solitude 
 that he did feel himself in strange surroundings. 
 
 "In Hamburg," he said to me, "when there is a 
 wedding there is a meal. I do not call this a meal." 
 
 I was eating an ice and petit fours, and we had 
 both accepted a glass of champagne. 
 
 "Heidsick Monopol," he had said approvingly when 
 he first tasted it. 
 
 "But no one wants a heavy meal at four o'clock 
 in the afternoon," I argued. 
 
 "Why not? In Germany we are not the slaves of 
 custom. If we are hungry at four we eat at four." 
 
 He spoke slowly and with deliberation. He had a 
 kind quiet face, light blue eyes, a clean shaven heavy 
 chin and scanty fair hair. His neck at the back of
 
 14 IRON COUSINS 
 
 his collar was as wide as his head and had creases 
 of fat in it. He looked clean and his linen was white 
 and shining. I noticed it because he wore evening 
 clothes which looked odd in broad daylight, but he 
 had explained to me that in Hamburg evening clothes 
 were correct at a wedding and that no one had told 
 him they would be incorrect in London. One or two 
 of the other guests had made the same mistake and 
 kept him in countenance, if that was necessary. But 
 I don't think it was. 
 
 "I go back to Hamburg on Saturday," he said, and 
 his eyes as they rested on me seemed to pass judg- 
 ment, as if he was asking what Hamburg would think 
 of me and answering the question more or less in my 
 favor. 
 
 "You have not the appearance of a teacher," he 
 said after a long ruminating survey. 
 
 I wondered what he meant, but I had been so much 
 with the Davids and their friends that I had become 
 used to having odd things said to me, odd personal 
 comments and inquiries that we should only make in 
 England if we were intimate. 
 
 "I am not a teacher," I said. 
 
 He looked at me again. 
 
 "Perhaps in more ordinary clothes . . ." 
 
 He did not finish his sentence but I knew what he 
 meant. The Davids had rigged me out for the wed- 
 ding because the bridesmaids' dresses were costly and 
 fantastic. They knew I could not afford one, but 
 they were pleased to say that the procession would 
 be spoiled if I was not in it. They had an exaggerated 
 idea of my looks just because I am not their own 
 type. In an English crowd I should pass unnoticed.
 
 IRON COUSINS 15 
 
 There I should be a girl of average height, slim and 
 well enough. But my wedding garment made some- 
 thing of me that I had never been before. I had 
 seen that at home and so had Aunt Susan and Tibbie, 
 our ancient cook. If there had not been seven others 
 like it I would not have been seen in church arrayed 
 so gorgeously. Isabella had said she would not have 
 bridesmaids at all if they were to be pretty-pretty. 
 No filmy white and blue ribbons at her wedding. She 
 had different ideas. Where she got them from you 
 may judge for yourself if you remember the vogue 
 on the Paris stage just before the war. 
 
 "She was a gordian shape of dazzling hue, 
 Vermilion spotted, golden, green and blue; 
 Striped like a zebra, freckled like a pard, 
 Eyed like a peacock, and all crimson barred; 
 And full of silver moons, that, as she breathed, 
 Dissolved, or brighter shone, or interwreathed 
 Their lusters with the gloomier tapestries." 
 
 To translate into realities, Isabella or her dressmaker 
 had found a silk gauze of many colors and a golden 
 tissue that they embroidered with silver moons and 
 made into an under dress of a fish-like tightness and 
 with a fish-like tail. I wore golden shoes with it and 
 a golden net on my hair, and when Aunt Susan saw 
 me she said I looked like Lamia before she cast her 
 skin. But Tibbie threw up her hands and said she 
 could imagine Jezebel dressed so and she wondered 
 Miss Darrell allowed it. I think from his expression 
 that Herr Plessen agreed with Tibbie. 
 
 "Mrs. David tells me that your parents died when 
 you were a child and that you have been educated 
 by an aunt, a lady for whom she has the highest re-
 
 16 IRON COUSINS 
 
 spect," he said. "If it is agreeable to you I shall call 
 upon her." 
 
 I thought that though he disapproved of my clothes 
 he must have taken a liking to me, but that as he was 
 going back to Hamburg on Saturday our friendship 
 was bound to be nipped in the bud. 
 
 "We might write to each other sometimes," I said. 
 "I should love to have a long letter in German that 
 I had to puzzle out with a dictionary." 
 
 "Why should we write to each other?" said Herr 
 Plessen, looking as if he thought me rather forward 
 and presumptuous. 
 
 "Why should you want to call on my aunt?" I 
 countered. 
 
 "Because I wish to make her an offer," he said 
 seriously. 
 
 For a moment I thought he must be mad like the 
 old man who made love to Mrs. Nickleby over the 
 garden wall, but you only had to look at Herr Plessen 
 to know that he was sane, sound, and well pleased with 
 himself. He was a business man I knew ; and no doubt 
 the offer he wished to make my aunt would be busi- 
 ness-like, but I had no inkling yet of what it was 
 going to be.
 
 Ill 
 
 MRS. DAVID has a high opinion of you," 
 continued Herr Plessen. "She says that 
 you have been well brought up and that 
 you set her daughter an excellent example which un- 
 fortunately she refused to follow." 
 
 This description was so unlike what I knew of 
 myself and so like Mrs. David's ponderous way of 
 praising anyone she wished to praise that I dare say 
 I smiled. 
 
 "H . . . m," said Herr Plessen, "I wish I had 
 brought my wife with me." 
 
 He paused a moment, sighed, and then continued 
 speaking. 
 
 "My wife has a strong character. She knows ex- 
 actly what she wants; still she has left it to me. In 
 her letter this morning she says truly that a personal 
 interview lasting five minutes is better than any amount 
 of correspondence, and she concludes 'I do not care 
 what she looks like as long as she does not remind 
 me of Mamsell.' " 
 
 There was a movement in the room because one 
 of the guests from Germany insisted on making a 
 speech and people were crowding to his end of the 
 room to listen to him. But Herr Plessen and I re- 
 mained where we were. 
 
 17
 
 i8 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I suppose you know no German," he said. 
 
 "Very little." 
 
 "I consider that an advantagee. The question is, do 
 you know anything at all or are you as ignorant as 
 we in Germany expect English people to be?" 
 
 "You cannot possibly imagine me more ignorant 
 than I am," I said with a sigh. 
 
 "But you know your own language?" 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 "Far from it," I assured him. "English is not an 
 easy language to know." 
 
 "There you make a mistake," said Herr Plessen. 
 "English is the easiest language in Europe. It is not 
 declined. Its nouns are all neuter. Nothing is difficult 
 in English except its unreasonable pronunciation." 
 
 I drank in his wisdom with a polite and I hope an 
 interested expression, but instead of pursuing the sub- 
 ject I said directly he stopped : 
 
 "Who is Mamsell, and why does Mrs. Plessen not 
 wish to be reminded of her?" 
 
 "Mamsell was the young person who lived in our 
 house and assisted my wife with the children and the 
 house-keeping. Unfortunately she was a conspicuous 
 beauty and at the same time frivolous." 
 
 "What was she like?" I asked. 
 
 "I should think she must have weighed three times 
 what you do," was his unexpected reply. "She was 
 a big well-developed girl, with a high color and bright 
 yellow hair. Not at all a personality that a careful 
 mother wishes to send out with her children. But 
 she was a perfect cook." 
 
 He sighed again and looked doubtfully at me. 
 
 "We should not expect you to cook," he said.
 
 IRON COUSINS 19 
 
 The whole conversation had been exciting and mys- 
 terious, for from the first I had known, of course, 
 that it was not an ordinary one beginning nowhere 
 and ending anyhow. 
 
 "Do you want an Englsh Mamsell?" I cried. "Do 
 you want me to come to Hamburg and teach your 
 children English?" 
 
 "That is what I have been explaining ever since 
 Mrs. David brought you up to me," he said with dig- 
 nity. "I took for granted that you understood. 
 Surely Mrs. David said something." 
 
 "She is very preoccupied to-day," I murmured, 
 for Mrs. David had said nothing at all to me of Herr 
 Plessen's plans. She was in a distraught state when 
 we streamed into the drawing-room after the wedding 
 because Mr. Saddington's Uncle Jacob and Isabella's 
 Uncle Heinrich were having a heated controversy 
 about the ceremonial and Uncle Jacob's attitude in 
 church; and their argument was so loud and heated 
 that everyone else had been reduced to silence and 
 had gathered round them as if to form a ring. Mrs. 
 David had managed to break it up by acting much 
 like an intelligent sheep dog, herding some down- 
 stairs to look at the presents and others into another 
 room where Isabella's trousseau was on view. In the 
 midst of her anxieties she caught sight of me, seized 
 me affectionately by the arm, led me up to Herr 
 Plessen and said: 
 
 "This is the young lady, dear Herr Plessen. She 
 is a favorite with everyone in my house. Even the 
 servants are pleased when she pays us a visit." 
 
 I was not embarrassed because by this time I was 
 used to Mrs. David's way of introducing people to
 
 20 IRON COUSINS 
 
 each other with a little hymn of praise or a short 
 biographical description. Herr Plessen had looked at 
 me in a ruminating way and without the least en- 
 thusiasm, and I had done my best to entertain him 
 because I knew that he was a stranger and that the 
 Davids wished him to be treated attentively. 
 
 "The moment I told Mrs. David what I was seek- 
 ing she said that she could assist me," continued Herr 
 Plessen and his tone was reproachful and disappointed. 
 "She said that you had been at school with her daugh- 
 ter, but that you had been brought up in modest 
 circumstances and had asked her to find you a situa- 
 tion, if possible out of England." 
 
 "Come and see Aunt Susan," I said. "If she will 
 let me go . . ." 
 
 "Naturally I shall pay a visit to your aunt," he 
 said. "You are too young to settle such an affair for 
 yourself. Besides, before I can make up my own 
 mind I must see you in other clothes and find out 
 whether you can undertake the duties my wife would 
 require of you." 
 
 "Can't you tell me about them now?" I said 
 eagerly, and I took a step towards a window-seat 
 some other people had vacated. But Herr Plessen did 
 not follow. He remained stiffly standing where he 
 was and accepted some more champagne which was 
 now being carried round a second time. His manner 
 made me feel that I had been rather forward in trying 
 to take the initiative. His years, his sex and his pos- 
 sible position as my employer ought to have shown 
 me that the initiative should be left to him. I won- 
 dered how he would get on with Aunt Susan and how 
 I should prepare her for his visit.
 
 IRON COUSINS 21 
 
 "Will you come to tea on Thursday?" I said. 
 
 "I thank you," he said, and I thought that he meant 
 that he would come. So I murmured something 
 about half past four and he stared. 
 
 "Till half past five I am in the City," he said. "I 
 shall call on your aunt punctually at six." 
 
 The room had become more crowded than ever now 
 and I saw several people I knew. Some of them came 
 up to me and I got separated from Herr Plessen. But 
 as I bid good-by to Mrs. David after the departure 
 of the bride and bridegroom she asked me if I had 
 come to an arrangement with him. I shook my head. 
 
 "He will not commit himself till he has seen me in 
 other clothes," I explained. "He is coming to call on 
 us on Thursday." 
 
 "It would not be quite like an adventure amongst 
 strangers," she said, looking at me in a friendly com- 
 fortable way. "You know that he is Ernest's partner 
 and that they are people of some standing and posi- 
 tion. The firm of Plessen and Wundt is known all 
 over the world. Ernest is extremely lucky to have 
 got it." 
 
 When I went back to Chelsea I found Aunt Susan 
 in the drawing-room which occupied the first floor 
 and had three straight narrow doll's house windows 
 in front facing the square, and one wide one at the back 
 facing streets and little gardens. I sat down near her 
 and told her all I could about the wedding, but of course 
 I could not make her see with my eyes and hear with 
 my ears. When I got to the part about Herr Plessen 
 I began to hesitate. 
 
 "When we got back from church Mrs. David in- 
 troduced me to a Herr Plessen," I began.
 
 22 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Introduced Herr Plessen to you," suggested Aunt 
 Susan. 
 
 "No," I said, "it was the other way about. He 
 was elderly and ponderous and he stood like a rock 
 in the back drawing-room. He is Mr. Saddington's 
 senior partner and lives in Hamburg." 
 
 Aunt Susan seemed to think she had heard enough 
 about the David wedding and the David's friends. 
 She was very polite but I, who knew her so well, 
 knew when she was bored. I saw her eye stray to 
 her open book and I saw that she was reading Le 
 Misanthrope and probably wanted to get back to it. 
 
 "He is coming to call here on Thursday," I said, 
 and startled her. 
 
 "I thought he was elderly," she murmured. 
 
 "He is, and married, and the father of a family." 
 
 "Then why is he coming?" 
 
 "He wants to make your acquaintance, and to see 
 me in everyday clothes." 
 
 Aunt Susan did not try to get back to her book 
 again. She looked at me. 
 
 "Isabella went to India," I said. 
 
 "So you want to go to Hamburg." 
 
 "I should only stay a year perhaps, and I should 
 learn German. I really ought to earn my living, Aunt 
 Susan. I'm a parasite." 
 
 "Nonsense !" She seemed to consider the matter 
 some time and then said: 
 
 "But why Germany? India is nearer to us than 
 Germany. You would feel more at home there." 
 
 I did not try to argue with her. I had broken the 
 ice and that was the main thing. When Herr Plessen 
 arrived on Thursday we were both in the drawing-
 
 IRON COUSINS 23 
 
 room ready for him, and I wore a plain dark blue 
 linen that I had made myself. He looked very big 
 as he came in, and my aunt looked small but self- 
 possessed. She listened to what he had to say about 
 the dust and the east wind, both of which had in- 
 commoded him; and when she saw an opening she 
 asked him how many children he had and what ages 
 they were. He told her that he had two boys and 
 two girls and that the boys went to school. While 
 he talked he was looking hard at the room and at us, 
 and the more he looked the more urbane he became. 
 Before long he took out an enormous pocket hand- 
 kerchief of a dazzling whiteness and blew a regular 
 trumpet call on his nose with it. When he had shat- 
 tered our nerves and soothed himself in this way, he 
 said: 
 
 "We will now come to business. I require an Eng- 
 lish governess for my children, and Mrs. David 
 recommends your niece. I do not offer her much 
 salary because she will live with us and be one of the 
 family. Mrs. David informs me that her daughter 
 received nothing but her traveling expenses." 
 
 "The Davids are wealthy people," said my aunt 
 
 "Your niece is quite without experience or train- 
 ing," said Herr Plessen. "She confessed to me that 
 she did not even know her own language." 
 
 "Fiddlededee," said my aunt, "the laborer is worth 
 his hire." 
 
 Herr Plessen looked as if he did not understand 
 what she was saying and turned to me. 
 
 "Twenty pounds," he said; "four hundred marks, 
 paid monthly. It is liberal. I could get fifty young 
 ladies who do not know their own language for noth-
 
 24 IRON COUSINS 
 
 ing but their keep and their fare. But my time is 
 short and I have seen you twice. That is not much, 
 but it is something. You must make up your mind 
 at once because I must 'phone for a berth. I am re- 
 turning by sea on Saturday." 
 
 "On Saturday !" I cried. "You want me to be ready 
 on Saturday?" 
 
 "Why not?" said Herr Plessen.
 
 IV 
 
 ON Saturday I met Herr Plessen at Waterloo, 
 traveled with him to Southampton and found 
 myself on board the Amerika, a German 
 ship, owned and manned by Germans and in the 
 main used by them. Aunt Susan had not wished me 
 to come. I saw that. But she had not prevented it. 
 She had always reminded me of the mother in Miss 
 Edgeworth's story who let Rosamund buy the purple 
 jar and find out for herself that it was not worth the 
 money. When I consulted her, she said that it was 
 unnecessary for me to leave home and that the posi- 
 tion of governess was not always a pleasant one. I 
 thought she got her ideas from the Bronte novels, and 
 that now-a-days people had wide views about women 
 who wished to be self-supporting. I pointed out to 
 her that if I did go I could come back again if I 
 was unhappy, and she said that had occurred to her, 
 too, and that I must please myself. Sol sent a wire 
 to Herr Plessen accepting his offer and a little note 
 of thanks to Mrs. David telling her what I was about 
 to do. The dear woman arrived next day with a fur 
 coat that she said I should need in the winter because 
 it was much colder in Hamburg than in London, and 
 a small Thermos flask which she said Isabella would 
 not miss as fifteen had been sent to Ernest and to 
 25
 
 26 IRON COUSINS 
 
 her for wedding presents. She was delighted to hear 
 that I was going to the Plessens and she certainly 
 cheered up Aunt Susan. She said that during the 
 summer I should be a great deal on the water and 
 probably learn to sail a pleasure boat, and that in 
 winter there was skating by day and the opera or a 
 concert at night; and that Hamburgers like the Pies- 
 sens kept such a good table that they were difficult to 
 please elsewhere. She assured my aunt that my going 
 as Isabella's friend would make all the difference in 
 the world to my position there and I know she be- 
 lieved this. She was so kind and generous herself 
 that she easily expected to find her own qualities in 
 other people. But she said that she had never seen 
 Frau Plessen and had never heard a word about her. 
 When she had gone we looked up Hamburg in the 
 Encyclopedia and as I was busy with my clothes and 
 my packing Aunt Susan said she would copy out 
 some of the important dates and events in the history 
 of the town for me. During dinner she told me a 
 little about the Hanseatic League and advised me to 
 go to Liibeck if I could and buy some of the cele- 
 brated marzipan made there. Of course she pro- 
 nounced the "z" in the English way and not like the 
 "ts" as she should have done. She knew French very 
 well and some Italian, but no German; and her ideas 
 about German)- were chiefly derived from Grimm's 
 Fairy Tales, and an old-fashioned sentimental story 
 called "German Love." She did read the papers, but 
 she did not believe in a German Peril because, she 
 argued, an inland country would not go to war with 
 a great maritime power. She said that journalists 
 had to make a living and that they made it by scaring
 
 IRON COUSINS 27 
 
 fools. She refused to be scared and the few Germans 
 she had met in life were decent, peaceable folk like 
 the Davids. In those days I didn't think about such 
 things and I willingly agreed with Aunt Susan. My 
 ideas of Germany were colored by "Elizabeth's" en- 
 chanting books and one of the first questions I asked 
 Herr Plessen as we traveled to Southampton was 
 whether he had ever been to Ruegen. 
 
 "Last year we spent the summer freshness at 
 Putbus," he replied. So I aked him if he had read 
 "Elizabeth in Ruegen," and he said that he had not, 
 and that this year they were going to Schondorf in 
 the Frankische Schweiz because their doctor consid- 
 ered sea air injurious to the children. 
 
 It seemed an odd idea but I thought it would not 
 be polite to say so. I murmured something about sea 
 air making some people bilious and that seemed to 
 annoy him. He said that people were not bilious un- 
 less they were greedy and that what his family suffered 
 from was weak nerves. Then he seemed to want to 
 read the paper and we traveled in silence for some 
 time. When we got on the Amerika he helped me 
 to find my berth which he had taken on the second- 
 class part of the ship, and I did not see him again 
 till we arrived at Cuxhafen next day. He went first 
 class himself and told his wife in my hearing that 
 he had a room furnished with satinwood and pale 
 blue satin and that though he was a bad sailor he 
 had been able to enjoy most of his meals. So did I, 
 and even the second-class ones were plentiful and 
 beautifully cooked. I was sorry when night came as 
 it seemed such waste of time to go to sleep in a 
 foreign ship where everything was interesting. In the
 
 28 IRON COUSINS 
 
 darkness there was a fog and a halt, much clanging 
 of bells and the sound of German spoken in my 
 drowsy ears. We had been near running down a 
 small ship, the stewardess told me in the morning, 
 and she pointed out that in the moment of danger it 
 steadies the nerves to know that you are more likely 
 to harm others than to be harmed yourself. 
 
 I cannot tell you anything about Cuxhafen because 
 we were escorted straight into a special train waiting 
 for us and we were taken without a stop to Hamburg. 
 Then we drove through crowded streets and market 
 places, some of which I could see were very old and 
 frequented by the poorer part of the population. The 
 women and children in these parts of the city were 
 mostly bareheaded and dressed in serviceable stuffs 
 plainly made. They looked much tidier than our 
 working classes do and even from the taxi I could 
 see that they wore home-knitted stockings and strong 
 boots. Most of them were fair-haired and the boys 
 had their heads closely cropped, but many of the girls 
 wore theirs in two thick pigtails. I did not see many 
 soldiers in the streets but I noticed that all the post- 
 men and tram servants wore uniforms and wore them 
 with neatness and precision. When we had driven 
 a long way we came to the water that Mrs. David 
 had spoken of when she said that I should probably 
 learn to sail a pleasure boat; and I had tried to pic- 
 ture an ancient city built round a lake, its gabled 
 roofs and storied casements leaning towards deep 
 gloomy waters, green and sunless by day, starlit at 
 night. Well! Hamburg is a handsome, cheerful 
 town with old romantic bits hidden away in back 
 streets and in some weathers and at some hours pos-
 
 IRON COUSINS 29 
 
 sessing beauty. But on this brilliant summer morn- 
 ing I did not find the city of my dreams, though I 
 found another one as unlike my dreams as Herr Pies- 
 sen, for instance, was unlike one of Grimm's younger 
 sons or the hero of "German Love." 
 
 The water sparkled in the sunlight, little boats with 
 white sails danced on its surface, steamboats laden 
 with passengers passed by us and on three sides of 
 its hard ungiving concrete walls, damming it safely 
 from the city there rose tall, white, modern houses, 
 glistening with newness and talking of money. At 
 one of these our taxi stopped and leaving me to get 
 out by myself, Herr Plessen entered and preceded me 
 upstairs. I was not surprised by his manners, but I 
 did not exactly enjoy them. However, like Touch- 
 stone, I told myself that travelers must be content and 
 that I had not left home in order to find everyone 
 and every thing what I was used to. He stopped on 
 the first floor, let himself in with his own key, went 
 straight through a small entrance hall, leaving me 
 standing there, and in a sonorous voice called out: 
 
 "Ottilie!" 
 
 Almost at once the door of a room opened and a 
 lady appeared whose glance went straight to me al- 
 though a great deal of her was being enfolded in Herr 
 Plessen's embrace and in a business-like way affection- 
 ately greeted. I thought her response seemed chilly 
 and that she showed relief when he let her go again, 
 and waving his hand towards me, said: 
 
 "I bring you the English Fraiilein." 
 
 "If the young lady is English she is not a Fraii- 
 lein," said Frau Plessen, and addressing me she said : 
 "If you please, come in."
 
 30 IRON COUSINS 
 
 It was lighter in the room we now entered than 
 it had been in the passage and from its three large 
 windows I saw the life and ripple of the water again 
 and the warm sunshine of the June day. But though 
 I could see it all my attention was fixed for the mo- 
 ment on the mistress of the house. She had a good 
 head of fair hair elaborately and carefully done in 
 a Pompadour style that would have looked old- 
 fashioned in London, but which suited her. She wore 
 a blue foulard with white spots, well made, but fussy. 
 She had some magnificent rings on her fingers and 
 she sat on the sofa beside her husband with an air of 
 frosty dignity that was not in the least like my con- 
 ception of the German Haus Frau. There was no 
 table in front of the sofa but there was one in re- 
 volving tiers on her right hand and it had books and 
 magazines on it. The room was not large but it was 
 pleasantly furnished with English looking cretonnes, 
 comfortable looking chairs and a Persian carpet cov- 
 ering the whole floor. 
 
 "What is your name?" Frau Plessen said to me, 
 and I told her that it was Sarah Danvers. She gave 
 a little start, glanced swiftly at her husband, looked 
 at me from head to foot and said : 
 
 "Why Sarah ?" She pronounced it more like Sarrah 
 and in her guttural voice it sounded ugly. 
 
 "It was my mother's name," I said. 
 
 "Was your mother a Jewess?" 
 
 I said no, and I spoke without emphasis and in a 
 low tone as we English do when we are taken aback. 
 
 "I am extremely anti-Semitic," she said, and 
 bridled. At least she seemed to throw up her head 
 and draw in her chin, and when people did that Aunt
 
 IRON COUSINS 31 
 
 Susan used to say they bridled and that it was a 
 gesture she particularly disliked. 
 
 I waited in silence and hoped she would change the 
 subject because it was not one in which I had any 
 interest or could speak with feeling. I had read about 
 Jews in the Bible and in Ivanhoe and I knew the 
 Davids and liked them, but I was neither the partisan 
 nor the enemy of the race. 
 
 "You do not look Jewish," Frau Plessen continued, 
 "but why Sarah ? Can you assure me that you are of 
 Christian descent?" 
 
 "How far back do you want to go ?" I asked. "Be- 
 cause a friend of my aunt's wrote a pamphlet to prove 
 that the English were the descendants of the lost 
 tribes. You see if he proved his case . . ." 
 
 "Papperlapap" said Herr Plessen unexpectedly, "I 
 am hungry, wife. What time shall we eat?" 
 
 Frau Plessen's eyes were well shaped and a good 
 gray, but like her manner hard and chilly. She had 
 a large mouth, excellent teeth, what Germans call a 
 potato nose and a poor complexion. She told her 
 husband that dinner would be served in half an hour 
 and that there was just time for him to have the hot 
 bath he always desired after a journey. She then 
 rose and signaled to me to follow her, and as we 
 walked along the narrow corridor of the flat she 
 asked me what experience I had had in teaching and 
 the care of children.
 
 BEFORE I could answer, Frau Plessen opened 
 the door of a large bedroom in which I saw 
 three wooden bedsteads, three chests of 
 drawers, three washstands, three chairs, an antique 
 dark wooden hanging cupboard and a well polished 
 painted floor. There was only one mirror, framed 
 in tarnished gilt and placed in a bad light behind one 
 of the washstands. Still the room looked spacious, 
 clean and comfortable, and it would have been cheer- 
 ful if the paint had not been a muddy brown and the 
 walls as well as the ceiling papered with bilious brown- 
 ish greens. 
 
 "How nice!" I said. "It looks as if it was ready 
 for the three bears." 
 
 "It is ready for you and my two daughters," said 
 Frau Plessen frostily. "In your last situation . . ." 
 
 "This is my first situation," I said hurriedly. "I 
 have never been from home before. Herr Plessen 
 knows that. He came to see my aunt." 
 
 "It is possible to live at home and yet to have some 
 experience in teaching and the care of children," Frau 
 Plessen pointed out, and then sat down on one of the 
 three chairs. She did not ask me to sit down, but I 
 did so. 
 
 "How old are you?" she said. 
 32
 
 IRON COUSINS 33 
 
 "I was twenty last October," I said. 
 
 "It is too young. I told my husband I wanted a 
 young person of discretion. Why were you with 
 your aunt? What has happened to your parents?" 
 
 "They died when I was a child." 
 
 "Has your aunt a family of her own?" 
 
 "No, she is unmarried." 
 
 "The aunt then has brought you up. You have 
 lived with her till now ?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "But you have not been trained as a teacher?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 "In that case you cannot teach. What can you 
 do?" 
 
 It was an embarrassing question for I began to 
 think that from Frau Plessen's point of view I could 
 do nothing. 
 
 "I thought you wanted me to talk English to the 
 children and to look after them," I said. 
 
 Frau Plessen hardly answered and I got the im- 
 pression that I was not in the least what she expected 
 or desired. In fact, I wondered whether it was worth 
 while unpacking my trunk and if after consulting or 
 reproaching her husband she would request me to 
 depart by the next steamer. However, she said 
 nothing more at the moment because two little girls 
 dashed into the room and stopped petrified on the 
 threshold when they saw their mother and a stranger. 
 I got up and went towards them. They were attrac- 
 tive looking children with friendly blue eyes, a fresh 
 color and fair hair plaited in thick pigtails ; and when 
 I shook hands with them they made me a little bob 
 and said "How do you do" in English. Then each
 
 34 IRON COUSINS 
 
 of them shook hands with their mother and made a 
 bob to her. 
 
 "This is your new governess, Miss Danvers," said 
 Frau Plessen, and reminding me that dinner would 
 be ready in ten minutes, she left us to ourselves. 
 
 "What are your names?" I said by way of a be- 
 ginning. 
 
 "I am Olga," said the elder one. 
 
 "I am Trudi," said the other, and then they looked 
 at each other and giggled as children do when they 
 feel shy. 
 
 I felt shy myself, for except at school I had not 
 been used to children, and I wondered whether I 
 ought to help them get ready for dinner. I thought 
 they stared rather hard when I went to the washstand 
 appointed to me and poured out some water, so I 
 asked them if they did not mean to wash their hands. 
 They had taken off their hats and without the help 
 of a mirror had just touched their hair with a brush. 
 
 "It is not allowed to wash in here during the day," 
 said Olga, and put away her brush in a drawer. 
 
 It was not for me to make rules in the house or 
 if I could help it to break them so I said nothing, but 
 tidied my own hair and then intimated that I was 
 ready to go into dinner. But Trudi pointed a warning 
 finger to my hat and traveling coat which I had left 
 upon my bed. 
 
 "It is not allowed to leave one's clothes upon the 
 bed," she said. 
 
 "Trudi!" 
 
 The elder child's tone was one of reproof, but Trudi 
 paid no attention. On the contrary, she continued 
 to train me in the way I should go. I had left my
 
 IRON COUSINS 35 
 
 hand-bag askew on the chest of drawers with the 
 brush and comb I had taken out beside it. She put 
 back the brush and comb, shut the bag and removed 
 it to a chair. 
 
 "It is not allowed to have anything upon the chest 
 of drawers," she said. "It makes more trouble for 
 Marie when she dusts." 
 
 "But now that Miss Danvers has come Marie will 
 not dust. Miss Danvers will dust," argued Olga. 
 
 The two little girls were standing close together 
 now and staring at me with the unabashed curiosity 
 of their years. 
 
 "Miss Danvers has not the appearance of one who 
 dusts," said Trudi, and she whispered something in 
 German to her sister who nodded doubtfully. Then 
 they both began to giggle again. 
 
 "It is not allowed to giggle in the presence of your 
 elders," I said mimicking Trudi's solemn tone when 
 she chid me. 
 
 "Giggle!" one of them cried. "What is giggle?" 
 
 But they pronounced it more like kikkle, and while 
 I was trying to make them say the word as I did 
 and they could hardly speak at all for laughing, a 
 gong was sounded and both children ran ahead of 
 me into the corridor. 
 
 I followed them into the dining-room where we 
 found Herr and Frau Plessen and the two boys who 
 were presented to me as Oscar and Arthur. Each 
 boy put his heels together, made me a deep bow and 
 shook hands. I felt inclined to make them a deep 
 curtsey in return but refrained while their mother's 
 frosty eye was upon us. I wondered why we did not 
 sit down to table at once for the soup was there and
 
 36 IRON COUSINS 
 
 Herr Plessen was impatiently walking up and down 
 the room just as the lions and tigers at the Zoo do 
 in their cages at feeding time. But on looking more 
 closely at the table I saw that it was laid for eight 
 and just as Herr Plessen had come to a standstill and 
 told us to take our places, a young man entered the 
 room and going up to him affectionately kissed him 
 on both cheeks and welcomed him home again. 
 
 "My nephew, Herr Heiling," said Frau Plessen to 
 me, and when the young man had made his bow but 
 had not shaken hands, we sat down to dinner. 
 
 I shall always remember that first meal in a foreign 
 city although it was in no way elaborate or remark- 
 able. First we had an excellent soup with the narrow 
 home-made macaroni in it that Americans call noodles. 
 Then the longest dish with the longest piece of beef 
 I had ever seen arrived, and rising to his feet to get 
 at it better Herr Plessen plunged his fork into one 
 end and cut the whole into slices. When he had fin- 
 ished he passed the dish to his wife who sat next to 
 him while the maid who waited on us handed round 
 mountains of asparagus and little new potatoes just 
 browned in butter. I sat between Olga and Trudi, 
 and by the time the long dish came to me I had 
 noticed that Frau Plessen and Herr Heiling both cut 
 their meat into small pieces before they began to eat 
 it and that as they did so they grasped the fork 
 firmly in the hollow of the hand and held it fixed and 
 upright in the meat. I imitated them. I didn't find it 
 as easy as it looked, but when I was a child Aunt 
 Susan had told me the story of the prince who drank 
 his tea out of the saucer because his hostess who knew 
 no better did so. I had even heard her pronounce
 
 IRON COUSINS 37 
 
 a word incorrectly rather than mortify an interlocutor 
 whose education was not her affair. So I thought that 
 as I was in Hamburg I would do as the Hamburgers 
 did even if it was difficult, and I was glad to observe 
 that in this household no one attempted those con- 
 juring tricks with knives that I had seen done at the 
 Davids' by raw recruits from the Fatherland. Herr 
 Plessen had tucked a corner of his large fine dinner 
 napkin into his collar and the two boys did like- 
 wise, but Frau Plessen and the rest of us ate with- 
 out protection. The children did not eat well. They 
 lapped their soup up noisily, scraped their meat 
 plate with their knives and drank with artless gasps 
 and gurgles of satisfaction. I did not think it would 
 be seemly for me to reprove them in the presence 
 of their parents especially as I had the impression 
 that the parents disapproved of me. You know 
 how eloquently this may be conveyed without the 
 use of words. When I was cutting up my meat I 
 raised my eyes and saw that they were both watch- 
 ing me and I knew I must be doing it badly because 
 they exchanged glances that, though they were not 
 addressed to me, were withering. "Be calm in the 
 moment of danger," I said to myself and tugged at 
 a vindictive end of gristle that would not be sepa- 
 rated from the meat in a well behaved way but sud- 
 denly flung itself off the plate and on the spotless 
 cloth. A catastrophe of magnitude and me the of- 
 fender! I turned scarlet, the boys began to giggle, 
 Frau Plessen looked at me severely, her husband 
 gloomed and Trudi said in her shrill clear voice : 
 
 "When we soill things on the cloth mother calls us 
 little pigs."
 
 38 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I'm so sorry," I said, and looking up again I met 
 Herr Heiling's eyes fixed on me with amusement. 
 At first he had had no eyes for me at all and I had 
 thought his manner when he was presented decidedly 
 cavalier. He was a good-looking young man, having 
 a clean shaven face, hazel eyes and pleasant features. 
 His manner was one of complete assurance, his voice 
 was high and nasal, he evidently went to an expensive 
 but a German tailor, and I guessed that in Hamburg 
 he was a person of fashion. He seemed to be on ex- 
 cellent terms with his young cousins and I counted 
 that in his favor. But somehow he had done more 
 than any of the others to make me feel that my posi- 
 tion in this household was betwixt and between. 
 
 "I have been often in England," said Herr Plessen 
 magisterially, "but I never saw anyone there hold his 
 fork as you held yours just now." 
 
 "I never did it before," I said, "when I get more 
 used to it . . ." 
 
 "We do not wish you to get used to it," said Frau 
 Plessen. "We only do it ourselves at the Familicn- 
 tisch. In society we should not dream of it. I was 
 appalled when I saw you were eating in such a way. 
 We expect you to have English table manners and 
 to teach them with thoroughness to the children." 
 
 "You know now, Kinder," said Herr Heiling. 
 "You keep your eyes on Miss Danvers and imitate 
 everything she does. So!" He stared hard at me 
 and when I lifted my glass of water to my lips he 
 lifted his glass of Pilsener beer and drank. 
 
 "So!" cried all the children in chorus and lifted 
 their glasses too; but Olga, seeing an enormous dish 
 of strawberries arrive flourished her glass in welcome 
 V
 
 IRON COUSINS 39 
 
 of them and splashed most of the water in it on my 
 plate and the cloth. If I had not pushed my chair 
 back swiftly I should have received more than I did 
 in my face. 
 
 "Na!" said Frau Plessen, "if this is English be- 
 havior at meals I want no more of it. Look at the 
 state of the cloth between Olga and Miss Danvers."
 
 VI 
 
 THE Plessens were evidently wealthy people and 
 they lived in an expensive flat in the best 
 part of Hamburg, but the flat was not large 
 enough to allow the children and me a sitting-room 
 to ourselves. At any rate we did not have one. In 
 the morning I was expected, as Trudi had foreseen, 
 to tidy our bedroom and then to sit there and sew; 
 and in the afternoons I was either out of doors with 
 the children or teaching them English in the dining- 
 room. I generally sat by myself in the dining-room 
 after my pupils went to bed and I found that the 
 dreariest part of the twenty-four hours. 
 
 I did not tell Aunt Susan that I had to do a bed- 
 room for three people and sit there half the day mak- 
 ing and mending clothes. When Frau Plessen told 
 me that these duties would devolve on me I expressed 
 the surprise I felt and said that I was not qualified 
 as a housemaid or a sewing maid. But she observed 
 that I was not a qualified teacher either and that I 
 should probably turn out not worth my salt. It was 
 a question which of us gave way and I only had to 
 look at Frau Plessen to know that it would not be 
 her. When I had looked at her I looked out of the 
 window at the Alster, as I had done when I first 
 arrived, and the longer I looked the more delectable 
 seemed the city of Hamburg and the amenities of 
 40
 
 IRON COUSINS 41 
 
 life there, even for a penniless young woman being 
 bested by her employer. After all, what did it 
 matter? Besides there was something to be said for 
 Frau Plessen's point of view. Her husband had 
 brought me from England in order to fill a gap in 
 the household staff and by my own showing I was 
 not competent to fill it. I had never done any house- 
 work, I had never done any dress-making, I was not 
 a musician or a linguist. It was depressing to find 
 out how small my market value was and by the time 
 I had discussed the situation with Frau Plessen for 
 half an hour I understood that she was magnaminous 
 to keep me at all in return for the unskilled services 
 I could render. I was made to see this so clearly that 
 I did not like to say anything about the salary Herr 
 Plessen had promised me; the small salary at which 
 Aunt Susan had sniffed. I supposed it would be paid 
 when the time came. During the war between Russia 
 and Japan I had been told about a great Japanese 
 general who in his youth had served as a waiter in an 
 English hotel because he wanted to see England and 
 had to maintain himself there. The thought of him 
 heartened me tremendously and I hoped it was a true 
 story and that he had found his early experiences 
 were worth while. At first the disadvantages of my 
 position did not weigh as much as a feather com- 
 pared with the joy of waking every morning in Ham- 
 burg instead of in Chelsea. I made up my mind that 
 I would stay as long as I was happy and go home 
 when I became unhappy, and this seemed such an 
 easy sensible way of facing the future that I took 
 every day as it came and usually got through it pretty 
 well.
 
 42 IRON COUSINS 
 
 I did not find Frau Plessen a pleasant person to 
 deal with. She was not actively unkind and she was 
 an efficient housekeeper who provided everyone with 
 good food and good beds. But her ideas of caste 
 were hide bound and excluded me from any inter- 
 course that was not strictly business-like. She kept 
 me hard at work while the children were at school, 
 never took them off my hands when they came home 
 and yet was never satisfied. Apparently, my prede- 
 cessor, the Mamsell, had done a great many things 
 in the house that I did not do and comparisons were 
 drawn between us to my disadvantage. One morning 
 when I had taken Olga and Trudi to school I was 
 told on my return that it was a day of unusual stress 
 in the kitchen and that I must lend a hand there. A 
 large quantity of gooseberries for bottling had ar- 
 rived and it was necessary to prepare them at once. 
 So I put on a long muslin apron, went into the kitchen 
 and sat down to top and tail gooseberries. I did not 
 mind in the least because it gave me a chance of 
 looking at the kitchen and seeing a German cook at 
 work. But I was surprised that Frau Plessen did 
 not help us. I had always heard that the German 
 housewife worked with her own hands and I knew 
 that Mrs. David often had differences with her Eng- 
 lish maids because she was "about the kitchen" too 
 much to please them. Frau Plessen came in and out 
 a good deal but it was to give orders, superintend 
 operations and find fault. I had not heard servants 
 scolded as she scolded hers but they seemed to take 
 it in the day's work, only murmuring when she went 
 away that she was bbse this morning. Two were 
 kept and I never saw one of them idle for a moment.
 
 IRON COUSINS 43 
 
 I thought they had a hard life and I liked them both 
 and felt sorry for them. Nothing seemed to be done 
 for their ease and not much for their well being. 
 There was not a comfortable chair in the kitchen or 
 for that matter in my bedroom either. They hardly 
 ever went out, they rose at cock-crow, they toiled late 
 and they were always anxious to please, and smiling. 
 When I could I practiced my imperfect German on 
 them and they took everything I said as a joke and 
 often with peals of friendly laughter. This morning 
 my pronunciation of the German word for goose- 
 berries which is Stachelbeeren tickled them to tears 
 and when they had recovered from that they wanted 
 to know whether we had gooseberries in England and 
 what we did with them. I tried to explain the process 
 of making gooseberry fool but I did not know the 
 German word for a sieve and I felt sure that one was 
 required. I got up for a moment to find one and as 
 I did so the front door bell rang. Marie went to 
 answer it and Sophie took a large flat tin out of the 
 oven covered with gooseberry tartlets. One was con- 
 siderably larger than the rest and she cut this into 
 three pieces and offered me one piece smoking hot. 
 I thought I should burn my fingers and hesitated. 
 
 "hnmer zu," she said encouragingly. "She is out. 
 I heard the door slam." 
 
 To what had I descended? And did the Japanese 
 general have surreptitious dainties thrust upon him 
 behind a kitchen door, and when he was hungry? It 
 was midday now and I was always as hungry as a 
 wolf by midday because we had breakfast early; the 
 light delicious continental breakfast of coffee and 
 fresh rolls. I had been told that many Hamburg
 
 44 IRON COUSINS 
 
 people had lunch at twelve, dinner at four or five and 
 a supper of kickshaws with beer at nine or ten. But 
 the Plessens dined at one with the children and me, 
 and had afternoon tea at five and another meal by 
 themselves at seven. While they were having this 
 evening meal I was busy putting the children to bed 
 so that by the time I got back to the dining-room 
 it was empty and the table cleared. Marie brought 
 me something to eat on a tray then; usually thick 
 slices of gray bread, thin slices of sausage and a small 
 slender bottle of Pilsener beer, presumably the supper 
 they had in the kitchen themselves. I used to eat 
 the bread and sausage and leave the beer, but I had 
 not asked for anything else to drink instead of it. 
 I suppose I did not hold my own with Frau Plessen 
 as much as I should have done but I regarded the 
 whole experience as an adventure and was determined 
 to take the rough with the smooth until the rough 
 troubled me more than the smooth amused me. 
 
 It was in this mood that I stood in the kitchen 
 eating hot gooseberry tart when the door opened and 
 Herr Heiling appeared followed by Sophie. I was 
 so astonished that I stared at him, and probably 
 showed some confusion and annoyance, for he smiled 
 in the way people smile when they catch someone else 
 doing that which should not be done, and there is no 
 doubt that I was not supposed to be standing idly in 
 Frau Plessen's kitchen eating hot pastry shortly before 
 dinner when my share of the pastry would be handed 
 to me in a decorous manner on a dish. 
 
 "Schones Fraiilein!" he began and I, taken aback 
 by his tone, probably showed the surprise I felt. At 
 any rate he changed it, as I, having relinquished most
 
 IRON COUSINS 45 
 
 of my gooseberry tart, preceded him into the dining- 
 room. 
 
 "I have a message for my aunt," he said. "I 
 thought I had better give it to you and not to Marie/' 
 
 I waited for the message. 
 
 "You have not opened your lips yet even to say 
 good-morning," he complained. 
 
 His manner startled me again. When he arrived 
 in the kitchen it had been merry and assured, rather 
 more assured than I could stand, and now it was still 
 assured but it was no longer merry. He seemed to 
 be seeking something from me that I had not given 
 and his voice for the first time since we had met had 
 a personal note in it that was both provocative and 
 friendly. 
 
 "If you will give me the message I will deliver it," 
 I said. 
 
 "I am not coming to dinner to-day," he announced. 
 
 "What else?" 
 
 "Nothing else." 
 
 It was absurd and he knew it. As a rule he dined 
 with us every day. His house was on the outer Alster 
 and his place of business close by, so the arrangement 
 suited him. But he often accepted other invitations 
 or entertained friends at a restaurant or a hotel. I 
 got the impression from the Plessens that he was 
 one of the young bloods of Hamburg, the son of rich 
 people and for his own sake greatly in request. I 
 liked him myself although I thought him spoiled and 
 rather conceited. But his good spirits were infectious 
 and his looks grew upon one. The Plessens talked 
 of him as if he was the Apollo Belvidere but that 
 was nonsense. He was a personable young man as
 
 46 IRON COUSINS 
 
 I have said already but not in any way remarkable. 
 I had hardly noticed his eyes until they sought mine 
 this morning with more insistence and attention than 
 I was ready to reciprocate. Then I saw that they were 
 beguiling and that they could be eloquent. 
 
 "Why are we standing?" he said. "Come and sit 
 down near the window and tell me how you like Ham- 
 burg and what you have seen." 
 
 He moved towards the window as if he felt sure 
 that I should follow him but I did not do so. 
 
 "I will give your message but I cannot stay here," 
 I said. "I am busy in the kitchen." 
 
 "What are you doing there? My aunt has told 
 me more than once that you cannot cook. She says 
 your ignorance is hair-raising and that she discovered 
 the other day that you had never seen a nutmeg." 
 
 "Have you ever seen a nutmeg?" 
 
 "Never, but then I shall never have to keep house." 
 
 "After all," I pointed out, "when the time comes 
 for me to run a house I shall be able to do it in the 
 English way. I am not going to spend my life in 
 Germany." 
 
 "How do you know ? A woman never knows where 
 she will spend her life. Suppose a German fell in 
 love with you?"
 
 VII 
 
 HE made me angry. "Suppose a German fell 
 in love with me !" Suppose he did and sup- 
 pose I did not fall in love with the German ? 
 I was just going to answer in this way when Frau 
 Plessen surprised us together, and on thinking it over 
 calmly I was glad that she did because such a riposte 
 would have been undignified and juvenile. But Frau 
 Plessen was not pleased to find me in the dining-room 
 talking to her nephew. 
 
 "Miss Danvers! You here! Are the gooseberries 
 finished then?" 
 
 I did not answer. I left it to Herr Heiling to give 
 his own explanation and went out of the room. It 
 was time to fetch the little girls from school and as 
 I put on my hat in front of the glass I was amazed 
 at my own appearance. I actually looked angry. My 
 color had risen and my eyes had lights in them that 
 I had hardly ever seen there. 
 
 I wished I had had a wider experience of young 
 men and their ways, and knew better how to deal with 
 this one. He must learn that I was not a chamber- 
 maid to be chucked under the chin when no one was 
 there that mattered. Perhaps he had learned that 
 already for his manner in the dining-room had been 
 quite unlike his manner in the kitchen when he had 
 called me schones Frailldn. Did he think that I was 
 47
 
 48 IRON COUSINS 
 
 going to answer as Gretchen did that I was "weder 
 Fraulein, weder schon?" 
 
 I was not as well born as the Japanese general who 
 acted as a waiter but I had some pride of caste. The 
 more fool me I dare say, since I had no money to 
 support it and was in a foreign land performing such 
 menial tasks as the topping and tailing of gooseber- 
 ries for a woman with diamond rings and a bad 
 tempered mouth. What misleading nonsense Mrs. 
 David had talked about my being one of the family. 
 I was nothing of the kind, nor was I one of the 
 kitchen. While I put on my hat I felt lonely, home- 
 sick and indignant, but directly I got out of doors I 
 was glad I had left home. For whatever happened 
 I should have this to carry with me as long as I 
 lived : this picture of a German city on a summer day. 
 The flashing water, the little sail boats, the steamers, 
 the broad pavements on either side of the road, cars, 
 carts, carriages thronging the Jungfernstieg at this 
 hour of the morning, men of affairs hurrying home 
 to lunch or dinner, expensive-looking shops with four 
 or five floors of flats above them, hotels, little boys 
 mostly wearing spectacles, and carrying satchels on 
 their way home from school, girls, too, in groups chat- 
 tering German as I passed them, hot sunshine, a 
 cloudless sky and, when I came to a market place, 
 some remains of the morning's fruit and vegetables, 
 and Vierwalderinnen in their broad hats and bright 
 full skirts still chaffering at the stalls. I made up my 
 mind that morning that I would go on as I had begun. 
 I was poor but I would see the world. I would not 
 live like a weevil in a biscuit. When I was tired of 
 Germany I would go to Paris and then to Italy. In
 
 IRON COUSINS 49 
 
 between I would run back to London and visit Aunt 
 Susan because she was getting old and I loved her. 
 Perhaps I ought to stay with her instead of traveling ! 
 Another phrase of Stevenson's came into my mind 
 as I turned into the quiet street where Olga and Trudi 
 went to school, a phrase about duty and inclination 
 coming nobly to the grapple. Perhaps the best was 
 not to look ahead. Life must hold leaves I had not 
 turned yet. I thought of myself as leading it singly, 
 I suppose, because I had lived mostly with a single 
 woman. But people did fall in love and marry. In 
 novels and plays they did even when they were poor, 
 but not often in real life unless they belonged to the 
 working classes. At any rate I was nearly twenty- 
 one and had never had an offer of marriage or even 
 a flirtation. Aunt Susan and I did not know any 
 young men and though the little Hungarian had made 
 dog's eyes at me he had not asked me to marry him. 
 I never have thought much of my looks and I have 
 always envied the women who see in the mirror a 
 tall commanding presence, violet eyes, cherry lips, 
 golden hair and a color like a brier rose. It sounds 
 horrid in a catalogue, as horrid as the page of an 
 illustrated paper showing stage ladies in tights and 
 with smiles and teeth. Still you can imagine the type 
 of beauty I aspire to be and will know how far I 
 come short of it when I tell you that my hair is 
 light brown . . . just light brown . . . my eyes any 
 color . . . green or gray according to my mood or 
 the weather . . . and my other features indifferent 
 good but unremarkable and rather small. I am neither 
 tall nor short ... I am thin . . . thin enough for 
 England . . . too thin for Germany ... I walk
 
 50 IRON COUSINS 
 
 well . . . my dancing mistress said I did . . . and 
 I know how to choose my clothes. Mrs. David always 
 told me that because Isabella's clothes were a great 
 trial to her mother when she began to have an allow- 
 ance and buy her own. She had no imagination and 
 bought things that look well on other people but did 
 not suit her. Frau Plessen did much the same. She 
 was not in the least like Isabella. She fancied herself 
 more than any woman I have ever seen and she evi- 
 dently spent a great deal on her clothes. Sometimes 
 they were handsome and becoming but sometimes 
 they were grotesque. They were worst of all when 
 they were supposed to be "sporting" and presumably 
 English. She was a very German-looking woman 
 with broad hips, a wide thick mouth, freckled skin and 
 awkward gait; so when she appeared in a coat and 
 skirt of large brown and white checks, yellow tan 
 boots and a small hat with cock's feathers, the rigout 
 doubtless cost what she said it did but you wondered 
 how she could be fool enough to wear it. 
 
 When I got to the Kindergarten I had to wait a 
 few minutes for the children, an interlude I was be- 
 ginning to dislike because it gave a certain Miss Camp- 
 bell a chance of accosting me. Miss Campbell had 
 seen that I was English directly we met, she had 
 hailed me as her compatriot and by degrees she had 
 told me a great deal about her private affairs. These 
 showed her to be a person of such unusual ability 
 and importance that I wondered why she should be 
 waiting with me and others less fortunate than me, 
 for a child to take home from school. She was not 
 a type I had come across before and I thought it would 
 take Mrs. David with her wide knowledge of na-
 
 IRON COUSINS 51 
 
 tionalities to place her. She spoke fluent English with 
 the most hideous accent I had ever heard : German 
 and Whitechapel so combined that the resulting twang 
 made you shudder. She was dark, bilious looking and 
 plain, but she did not seem to know any of these 
 unfortunate facts about herself for though her ar- 
 rogance was of a different quality from Frau Plessen's 
 it seemed to be equally sustaining. She told me that 
 she was English but that she had lived a great deal 
 in Paris with a married sister called Wolf and that 
 her brother-in-law, Monsieur Wolf, was one of the 
 most influential and highly placed men in France. It 
 was only her spirit of independence that led her to 
 forsake the gay and brilliant social conditions she was 
 accustomed to for a post that offered her unparalleled 
 emoluments and opportunities. I am sorry to use such 
 long words but it is impossible to think of Miss Camp- 
 bell in short ones. She told me that she was super- 
 intending the education of an only child called 
 Gisela Crefeld and that Gisela's parents were the 
 wealthiest and most considered people in Hamburg. 
 She asked me where I was staying and when I men- 
 tioned the Plessens she said she did not know them. 
 I gathered that this was derogatory to the Plessens, 
 but when I asked Frau Plessen if she had ever heard 
 of the Crefelds she said that they were Jews and 
 that she was not on visiting terms with them. Her 
 tone in saying this consigned the Crefelds to limbo 
 and Miss Campbell with them. This made it difficult 
 for me to judge between the houses but I remembered 
 what Aunt Susan told me about the Darrells looking 
 down on the Danvers because they were dissenters 
 and in trade, and the Danvers looking down on the
 
 52 IRON COUSINS 
 
 Dan-ells because they were proud and poor. I believe 
 that humanity has a good deal in common even when 
 it is as far apart as the Elbe and the Aire, though 
 I had never met anyone in my own country quite as 
 disagreeable and at the same time as assidious in her 
 attentions as Miss Campbell. She came up to me 
 the moment I entered the room, shook hands and asked 
 me what arrangements I had made with Frau Plessen 
 about going out. I said I had made none at all. 
 
 "But you must see to it at once," she said. "You 
 must insist on having time to yourself when you can 
 accept invitations and meet your friends." 
 
 She reminded me of the boarder in Rudder Grange. 
 What she proposed was right and reasonable but be- 
 cause she proposed it I did not want to do it. 
 
 "I have not a friend in Hamburg and I am sure 
 that I shall have no invitations," I said. 
 
 "I bring you one from Frau Crefeld," she an- 
 swered. "She will be pleased to see you next Sunday. 
 She lived in London till she married and she knows 
 your friends, the Davids. If you can come I will call 
 for you early in the afternoon." 
 
 "It is very kind," I said, not greatly tempted. 
 
 "Then I will tell Frau Crefeld that you will come. 
 Shall I call for you at three?" 
 
 "I must ask Frau Plessen first." 
 
 "Not at all. You must tell the good lady that you 
 reserve Sunday afternoon and evening for yourself. 
 One must stand on one's rights. 'Hammer oder 
 Ambos sein.'" 
 
 Olga and Trudi came running towards me before 
 I could pull myself together and say in a polite way 
 that I could manage my own affairs. I had not even
 
 IRON COUSINS 53 
 
 made up my mind to accept Miss Campbell's invita- 
 tion for though some aspects of it were exhilarating 
 I did not take to her. 
 
 "Miss Campbell was at the Kindergarten to-day," 
 I said to Frau Plessen when we were at dinner. Her 
 manner was rather unusually standoffish and when 
 the children said something about the swimming-bath 
 they were told that I could not take them because I 
 should be busy all the afternoon with gooseberries. I 
 began to wonder whether I was being put upon and 
 whether I ought to say that I had come there as 
 governess and not as cook. But in England the idea 
 prevails that in Germany all women from high to 
 low are eternally engaged in domestic occupations and 
 I thought that if I objected to gooseberries I should 
 be told that the Empress invariably prepared them 
 with her own hands for the Emperor. 
 
 "Who is Miss Campbell?" said Frau Plessen, and 
 she spoke as if the effort of remembering the name 
 of a governess in a Jewish family could not be ex- 
 pected of her. 
 
 "She is Gisela Cref eld's governess," said Olga. "I 
 like her not." 
 
 "Pfui!" said Trudi, and spat out a cherry stone, 
 but she blinked at me and smiled, agreeably conscious 
 that what she said and did were both naughty. 
 
 "Frau Crefeld has invited me to go there next 
 Sunday," I continued. "If it is convenient . . ." 
 
 "Is it your wish that Trudi spits out her cherry- 
 stones?" interrupted Oscar. 
 
 "It is better to spit than to swallow," argued Trudi. 
 "Papa says so." 
 
 Papa looked up from his Hamburger Nachrichten,
 
 54 IRON COUSINS 
 
 which he always read toward the end of dinner, and 
 said that England had been getting in the way of Ger- 
 many as usual and that she would some day find Ger- 
 man patience exhausted. 
 
 "Miss Danvers is invited to the Crefelds next Sun- 
 day," said Frau Plessen in a tone that I could only 
 half interpret. She did not seem pleased, but I thought 
 she seemed impressed. 
 
 "They perhaps know your friends the Davids," said 
 Herr Plessen. "Frau Crefeld is English,"
 
 VIII 
 
 1 WROTE to Miss Campbell and accepted Frau 
 Crefeld's invitation. I could not resist the 
 chance of spending a few hours in fresh sur- 
 roundings and of meeting Frau Crefeld, who was 
 English. I did not consider myself homesick. I still 
 thought it a heavenly adventure to be in a foreign 
 land and I recognized that, for a girl without a penny, 
 I was not badly placed. The children and servants 
 were friendly, Herr Plessen was indifferent and Frau 
 Plessen gave me plenty to eat. She issued orders in 
 an arrogant tone to everyone except her husband, and 
 I had heard her haul him over the coals when he for- 
 got an engagement or a commission. The children 
 went in fear and trembling of their mother and I 
 had no trouble with them because they had been 
 trained from infancy to do as they were bid. The 
 boys I hardly saw except at meals and for an hour 
 every afternoon when I gave them a conversation 
 lesson. I did not teach them English grammar or 
 composition because Frau Plessen said they would 
 learn these rudiments of the language more thor- 
 oughly at school. I asked her if she would like them 
 to read a Shakespeare play with me and she said cer- 
 tainly not, because no one would read Shakespeare in 
 English who could understand him in German and 
 that when I knew German enough I must approach 
 55
 
 56 IRON COUSINS 
 
 the works of the world poet in the language that most 
 completely expressed him. She did not wish me to 
 read English poetry with the children at all, because 
 Byron was not suitable for the young and we had 
 never had another poet. I may have looked surprised. 
 At any rate she repeated what she said in a louder 
 voice and gave as her authority a lecturer on English 
 literature whose course she had attended when she left 
 school. 
 
 "The lecturer must have been very ignorant," I said. 
 
 "There is no such thing in Germany as an ignorant 
 lecturer or an ignorant teacher," she told me. "In 
 France and England there is ignorance everywhere; 
 but not in Germany." 
 
 I did not carry on the argument. By that time I 
 had been some weeks in Germany; I read the Ham- 
 burger Nachrichtcn every day as a disagreeable duty, 
 and I had become quite used to hearing things said 
 and seeing things written about England that were as 
 stupendous as they were untrue. I had no idea till I 
 went to Hamburg that the Germans were in a state 
 of ferment about us and I could not understand why 
 the Plessens wanted me and the Crefelds wanted Miss 
 Campbell since we both belonged to a nation without 
 a redeeming feature. I do not intend to dwell on the 
 crusade against England and the English that has 
 been carried on in Germany for years and officially 
 fomented in the press and elsewhere. We know more 
 about it now than we did before the war, but even 
 now he have little idea of its extent and thoroughness. 
 At first I hardly noticed its manifestations or felt 
 them ; but by degrees it began to vex my soul. Then 
 I gave up the Hamburger Nachrichten and read Ger-
 
 IRON COUSINS 57 
 
 man plays and poems at night when I had a little 
 leisure. There were not many books about; at least 
 Aunt Susan would have thought so. It was a large 
 handsomely furnished flat belonging to well-to-do 
 people, but their whole library was contained in a cup- 
 board with glass doors standing in one corner of the 
 dining-room. However, I saw complete editions of 
 Goethe, Schiller, Lessing and Heine there and I asked 
 Frau Plessen if I might borrow a volume as I wanted 
 it. She looked decidedly unwilling but said I could 
 do so if I did not turn down the pages or leave the 
 books open face downwards. I said I would not 
 only promise that but I would have clean hands when 
 I read and make no finger marks. She took this quite 
 seriously and showed me a novel Mamsell had read 
 and which I should have touched with a pair of tongs 
 if I had to touch it at all. I could write a Hymn of 
 Hate about people who use books badly or borrow 
 them and keep them; but naturally Frau Plessen did 
 not know that I had been brought up amongst books. 
 The little house at Chelsea was full of them and Aunt 
 Susan and I were both readers. 
 
 When Sunday came I changed my dress in time 
 for dinner so as to be ready for Miss Campbell when 
 she called for me. I put on one that Mrs. David 
 had given me the summer before and which had been 
 bought for Isabella. But for some reason Isabella had 
 not liked it. When Aunt Susan saw it she said it 
 must have cost as much as the two of us spent in a 
 year on clothes and she only half approved of my 
 accepting it. I never could feel like that myself about 
 Mrs. David, because it was natural to her to give with 
 both hands, especially to anyone young ; and she would
 
 58 IRON COUSINS 
 
 have been hurt and puzzled if I had refused. It was 
 a fine white embroidered lawn and I could see that I 
 did not look penniless in it. When I went into dinner 
 wearing it the others had sat down to table and Marie 
 was carrying round the plates of soup that Herr 
 Plessen ladled out of a big tureen. Frau Plessen 
 stared at me sourly and did not speak. Herr Plessen 
 seemed to receive a slight shock, but not a disagree- 
 able one, for I saw the ghost of a smile on his face 
 that I often saw when a child did something it ought 
 not to do and he was more inclined to laugh than to 
 reprove. Herr Heiling bid me good morning and did 
 not take his eyes off me. 
 
 "Our Miss has made herself beautiful to-day," said 
 Oscar, and putting his hand on his heart he made me 
 an impertinent little bow. 
 
 "Miss is at all times beautiful," said Trudi, "even 
 in bed she is beautiful." 
 
 "Trudi !" called Frau Plessen sharply. 
 
 "And in the swimming-bath," continued Trudi, 
 whose mind was so slow and thorough that when she 
 started on a theme she was not easily diverted. "I 
 have not before seen anyone with such small white 
 feet and also her legs ..." 
 
 "Trudi!" 
 
 "Miss Danvers swims?" said Herr Heiling hur- 
 riedly; but he was laughing and so was I. I could 
 not help it and I did not see why Frau Plessen should 
 look so sour. If you take a child's inconvenient re- 
 marks seriously you make more of them than you 
 need. 
 
 "Miss always laughs," said Arthur, who was my 
 favorite amongst the children. He had grave blue eyes
 
 IRON COUSINS 59 
 
 and a grave way with him that attracted me. "Even 
 when we make mistakes in our English she laughs. 
 It is agreeable to study with her." 
 
 "Yes," said Olga. "Our Papa chose very well. He 
 found our Miss and brought her with him to Ham- 
 burg." This remark was addressed to Herr Heiling. 
 
 "And I've told you every day for weeks that you 
 are not to call me your Miss," I cried, "I won't 
 have it." 
 
 "Very good," said Oscar, "we will call you our 
 Sally." 
 
 "Yes," said Arthur, "Sallee is good. Sallee, I kiss 
 you." 
 
 He blew me a kiss across the table and I looked at 
 Frau Plessen to see how she liked it. I think she 
 was divided in her feelings. It suited her very well 
 to have the children contented with their Miss, but I 
 am sure she did not endorse their opinion as to their 
 father's choice. When we all got up from table and 
 the two men went into the living-room for coffee she 
 stayed behind for a moment and told the children 
 that they were to play here by themselves this after- 
 noon and make no noise. Then she turned to me. 
 
 "Has Frau Crefeld invited you for supper?" she 
 asked. 
 
 I said I did not know, as the invitation had been 
 vaguely worded. She then told me that the best way 
 to get back would be to take a steamboat across the 
 Alster that called at a pier near the Crefeld's house 
 and ended its journey just opposite the flat. As she 
 talked I could see her appraising the details of my 
 dress all the time and deciding that it was unsuitable 
 for a Miss. Finally she spoke:
 
 60 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I suppose your dress was given to you?" she said. 
 
 I wished I could have said that I bought it or 
 made it myself; but anyone whose habit it is to tell 
 the truth knows how the habit persists even when a 
 lie would confound an adversary. I signified that her 
 judgment was as usual sound. The dress had been 
 given to me. 
 
 "Doubtless by Mrs. David?" 
 
 Again she was right and again it annoyed me that 
 she should be. 
 
 "It is a peculiarity of the Jews," she went on in 
 her most guttural tone. When Frau Plessen meant to 
 make herself unpleasant she became more guttural 
 than usual whether she was speaking German or Eng- 
 lish. "They like to have Christian dependents and 
 satellites to whom they can be free-giving." 
 
 "Generous!" I suggested. "Free-giving is not the 
 English idiom; but you can speak of people giving 
 freely." 
 
 She had told me to correct any mistakes she made 
 in English, but I did not often do so because when I 
 did she colored with annoyance and disputed my cor- 
 rections. 
 
 "Generous is not what I mean at all," she said now. 
 "Generosity is a virtue. To give people finery that does 
 not become their situation in life is a folly." 
 
 "If you do not like what I wear I will go home," 
 I observed. 
 
 I spoke without animus or heat, but I meant what 
 I said and that seemed to nonplus her. She did not 
 want me to go home at that time. 
 
 "You are too sensitive," she said. "A young girl 
 who has to fight her way through the world should
 
 IRON COUSINS 61 
 
 learn not to be sensitive and to take a counsel offered 
 by an older woman in the spirit in which it is given." 
 
 It is easy to put another person in the wrong when 
 the other person by the etiquette of his position is de- 
 prived of his power to reply. I had not said I would 
 go home until she had been grossly impertinent, but 
 if I had told her so I should have had to go and I 
 did not want to yet. She could be very disagreeable, 
 but Miss Campbell was disagreeable too, and I thought 
 that perhaps it was just the north German manner. 
 Mrs. David had told me that I should find it chilly 
 and forbidding. Besides she scolded her husband, her 
 children and her servants as arrogantly as she scolded 
 me ; and they all put up with it. 
 
 I had not thought of anything to say and we were 
 standing together near the window both feeling rather 
 uncomfortable when Herr Heiling came into the room 
 and brought his aunt a cup of black coffee. 
 
 "English fashion!" he said to me as she took it. 
 
 "What is English fashion?" I asked, not under- 
 standing him. 
 
 "In England men wait upon women. In Germany 
 women wait upon men. Have you not observed it?" 
 
 "I should think I have," I said, for only that morn- 
 ing Herr Plessen had sent me in to the next room for 
 his newspaper. "I'm trying to teach the boys better." 
 
 "But I prefer to drink my coffee where I am accus- 
 tomed to drink it," said Frau Plessen, and marched 
 through the communicating door into the living-room. 
 "Come, Casper." 
 
 Casper lingered. He lingered an appreciable time 
 and came nearer to me at the window. The children 
 were at the farther end of the big room, huddled over
 
 62 IRON COUSINS 
 
 a jig-saw puzzle that he had brought them the day 
 before. 
 
 "If I were Trudi . . ."he murmured in an under- 
 tone and then as I looked at him in surprise asked 
 me what I was doing this afternoon. I told him. 
 
 "Next Sunday I will take you and the children for 
 a sail in my boat," he said and raised his voice. "Do 
 you hear, children? Next Sunday we shall go on 
 the Alster in my boat and we shall have coffee at 
 Eppendorf."
 
 IX 
 
 THE people you like or dislike unreservedly pre- 
 sent no difficulties. You seek the one kind 
 and avoid the other. It is the people you like 
 in bits who intrigue you. In some moods Herr Heil- 
 ing attracted me. He had a way with him, a merry 
 friendly way that carried all before him. He was a 
 fortunate youth and knew it and made the most of his 
 oportunities. I gathered that he was the only son of 
 wealthy people, that when he had finished his educa- 
 tion he had been in London for a year and in Paris 
 for a year, in business in both cities but as a "volon- 
 taire," an unpaid apprentice learning the language and 
 the ropes. He had always had plenty of money in 
 Paris and introductions to the haute bourgeoisie. In 
 London his friends had been of German origin to 
 judge by their names, but he took them for English 
 and charged what he found fault with to the English 
 nation. In Hamburg he was supposed to live with his 
 father and mother in their villa on the Uhlenhorst, 
 where, the children told me, there was a fine garden 
 and a hedge of sweet brier. 
 
 "A Hecke is there," said Trudi, "a long Hecke of 
 well-smelling field rose. It smells to heaven." 
 
 I was supposed to give all the children a cut and 
 dried conversation lesson every day besides talking 
 63
 
 64 IRON COUSINS 
 
 English to them between times; and when conversa- 
 tion is cut and dried it helps things on to set a subject. 
 
 "To-day," I had said, "you shall describe your 
 uncle's house on the Uhlenhorst," and they began to 
 chatter like magpies at once. 
 
 "It is not a house; it is a villa," said Olga, "a fine 
 villa." 
 
 "A billiard is there," said Oscar. 
 
 "But it is not allowed that we play on it," said 
 Arthur. 
 
 "Once when no one was near those boys did play 
 and they did cut the cloth," said Olga. 
 
 "They did cut the cloth," said Trudi, her eyes grow- 
 ing big with the solemnity of the crime. "So they 
 became a whipping." 
 
 "Mek, mekl" jeered Oscar and snapped his fingers 
 at her. "Boys make nothing of whippings. The girls 
 it is who cry . . . silly geese !" 
 
 "Tell me about the garden," I said when I had 
 tried, without much success, to explain that you could 
 not become a whipping in English though you might 
 get one. For Oscar seemed to think that my discourse 
 on the respective values of werden and bekommen 
 were an admission that there was no such thing in 
 England as discipline and he said that he and Arthur 
 both wished they lived there. 
 
 "By us there is too much," he said gloomily; and 
 then Trudi made her remark about the sweet-brier 
 hedge and I tried to correct it; and Frau Plessen said 
 at supper that if we laughed so loudly we must have 
 the conversation lesson in a room further from her 
 own as we had disturbed her ; and that perhaps it was 
 the English method to treat a lesson as a joke, but
 
 IRON COUSINS 65 
 
 that she did not approve of it. After that I tried to 
 think of subjects that would not lend themselves to 
 laughter, such as some well-known episode in history 
 or any story of heroism not too tragic for their years. 
 I found that my history was not their history, nor 
 were my heroes their heroes; but that did not hinder 
 discussion. On the contrary. They were for Bliicher 
 and I was for Wellington ; they impeached Nelson and 
 I apotheosized him. We were defeated in America. 
 They were victorious at Sedan. The Boer War was 
 a crime and we should have lost it if the Kaiser had 
 not told us what to do. The Kaiser would some day 
 take all the English colonies and rule over them in 
 the German way. Deutschland tiber Alles. But Bri- 
 tannia rules the waves. 
 
 "What are waves ?" said Oscar. "Battles are fought 
 on land." 
 
 "You forget, Oscar," said Olga, "our future lies on 
 the water. The All-Highest has said so." 
 
 I sometimes wondered what English children of 
 their age in English schools were saying and think- 
 ing about Germany. Nothing at all unless English 
 schools had changed since I left one five years ago. 
 My ignorance of German history and even of Ger- 
 man geography and politics made the Plessens purr 
 when they came across it. They told me that the 
 navvies mending the roads in Germany were better 
 educated than our public schoolboys. I did not like 
 to tell them that although the children were taught 
 a great deal very carefully they were taught some of 
 it wrong. They would have wanted me to prove it, 
 and how could I prove that we did not owe our power 
 to our crimes, or dispute that our power was decaying
 
 66 IRON COUSINS 
 
 and would crumble like the walls of Jericho at the 
 first blast of the German trumpets. I did not believe 
 in the crimes, but I did not know whether we should 
 crumble when Germany attacked us. I wrote to Aunt 
 Susan and told her what the Germans were saying 
 and how the Hamburger Nachrichten wanted our 
 heads on a charger, but she did not seem to take 
 much interest in it. She said that she had always 
 understood that the Germans were learned and indus- 
 trious but not polite and that when she had gone 
 abroad she had chosen some part of France or Italy. 
 I was to remember that I need not stay a day longer 
 than I wished, as her home was always open to me 
 and she had just had my bedroom re-papered. 
 
 Sometimes the thought of my bedroom in the little 
 house at Chelsea came between me and the humors 
 of the moment with a tug at my heart strings. I 
 wished myself there again, amongst my own books and 
 pictures, at leisure and alone. I saw it with my mind's 
 eye while Frau Plessen was making herself disagree- 
 able about my dress, because I remembered the day 
 it had come and how I had put it on and then run 
 into Aunt Susan's room to show it to her. "Fine 
 feathers make fine birds," she had said, but I knew 
 by her eyes as well as by the long glass in her room 
 that I was a rather pretty bird that day as well as a 
 fine one. 
 
 Miss Campbell came for me at three o'clock and 
 looked rather put out when she saw me, and she said 
 that she^had left all her elegant and expensive clothes 
 in Paris because she did not expect to want them while 
 she was devoting herself to educational work in Ham- 
 burg. I said that my case was different. I possessed
 
 IRON COUSINS 67 
 
 very few clothes, came away at a day's notice and 
 brought the best I could. She accepted this explana- 
 tion graciously, and after she had looked carefully 
 round the room and told the children they were going 
 the wrong way to work with their puzzle we started 
 for our walk. It was a hot summer afternoon, the 
 Jungfernstieg was crowded with people and I was 
 in the best of spirits. Everyone and everything looked 
 unlike the King's Road on a Sunday afternoon, for 
 instance, and I have to admit that Hamburg looked 
 better. It is a splendid idea to build a big city round 
 a lake, even if the lake is artificial and has hard con- 
 crete dams for its shores. The beauty of water takes 
 care of itself when there is a big enough expanse. I 
 never tired of watching the life on it and the play 
 of light and wind on its surface. Besides, as we got 
 on we were able to turn round and see the church 
 spires of Hamburg and the packed roofs behind the 
 Alster front. At least I turned once or twice or 
 stopped to look about me, but Miss Campbell would 
 not let me linger long. She said that Hamburg was 
 a notoriously wicked city and that it behooved young 
 girls like us to walk circumspectly and always straight 
 ahead. She said other things and then she asked me 
 whether many young men visited the Plessens and 
 whether I had opportunities of getting to know them. 
 
 "I have not seen any young men there except Frau 
 Plessen's nephew, Herr Heiling," I told her. "They 
 have people to supper sometimes, but I am not with 
 them in the evenings." 
 
 "Herr Heiling! You mean the young one, Caspar 
 Heiling?" She made a little sound with her lips that 
 was nearly but not quite a whistle; and she smiled
 
 68 IRON COUSINS 
 
 knowingly. By that time I wished I had not come 
 out with her. If I could make a wicked city good 
 by talking of its wickedness in gloating whispers I'd 
 talk day and night ; but if you can neither rescue nor 
 prevent why should you discuss? I have no sym- 
 pathy with women who determinedly go through life 
 in blinkers; but I have still less with those who are 
 sheltered by the social system themselves and batten 
 by hearsay on the muck heap. It is a difficult distinc- 
 tion to make because there is such a thing as a legiti- 
 mate interest in the facts of human life; those facts 
 most of us pick up here and there as we can; too 
 often from the wrong people and in the wrong way. 
 I only speak of it because Miss Campbell made me 
 uncomfortable and I want to admit that in this matter 
 I stood betwixt and between. I sometimes wished 
 Aunt Susan had been less shy with me and more out- 
 spoken; but I turned a deaf ear to Miss Campbell 
 because I instinctively disliked her tone. Besides, I 
 would not discuss Caspar Heiling or the Plessens with 
 her. I had not been born in an attic and bred in a 
 kitchen. 
 
 I think that by the time we reached the Cref eld's 
 flat we both knew that we should never make friends. 
 At any rate she said as we went upstairs that she had 
 only approached me at the instance of Frau Cref eld 
 and that in general it was her rule not to associate 
 with the young women who lived with Hamburg fam- 
 ilies as governesses and Mamsells. She said that they 
 were her social inferiors and that though she was far 
 from being a snob she believed in drawing the line. 
 How did I feel? 
 
 If I had answered honestly I should have said I
 
 IRON COUSINS 69 
 
 felt sick, but then I should probably have had to 
 explain in what way and why. Besides I've no doubt 
 that even George Washington had to be civil to people 
 he did not love. I always envy people who can do 
 this without feeling untrue to themselves. However, 
 the uneasy mood in which I had walked upstairs van- 
 ished like mist in sunshine directly I saw Frau Crefeld 
 and shook hands with her. She seemed to be waiting 
 for us, for she stood in the open doorway of a room 
 opposite the front door, and the moment I saw her 
 kind eyes and heard her friendly voice I felt at home 
 with her. She spoke English with a strong German 
 accent, but not as Miss Campbell did, with a guttural 
 Cockney twang, and she herself and her room looked 
 German in every detail. So did the little girl with 
 bright dark eyes who stood shyly beside her. The 
 mother kept my hand in hers, drew me into the room 
 and looked at me before she led me to the sofa. I 
 can't tell you what she thought of me, but my first 
 impressions of her did not change much as I got to 
 know her better. To my eyes she did not look Jewish 
 as the Davids did or even as her own child did. She 
 was a big woman, fair-haired and deliberate in her 
 movements. She had blue eyes as kind as kind, but not 
 alert. She was handsomely dressed and yet the gen- 
 eral effect was rather frumpish. She did not seem to 
 be thinking about herself at all but about the people 
 she was mothering or directing or entertaining. She 
 told me that the Davids were old friends and that 
 Mrs. David had written to her about me more than 
 a week ago and told her that I was Isabella's friend. 
 "I should have written to ask you here," she said, 
 still keeping my hand in hers and looking at me as if
 
 70 IRON COUSINS 
 
 to do so gave her pleasure. "But Miss Campbell told 
 me she had already made your acquaintance. I hope 
 that you are happy in Hamburg?" 
 
 "Yes, I am," I said, for on the whole I was happy. 
 I did not regret coming. 
 
 "I have asked an Englishman to supper to-night to 
 meet you," she went on, "but I have not told him that 
 you were coming. It shall be a surprise."
 
 MISS CAMPBELL went out of the room to 
 take off her hat and left me alone with 
 Frau Crefeld. We sat on the sofa together 
 and I had been long enough in Germany to appre- 
 ciate that. Frau Plessen never asked me to sit beside 
 her on the sofa. At first she had seemed to fear 
 that I should do so uninvited and had quickly occu- 
 pied rhe middle herself so that I could not plant myself 
 there, too, without crushing her. Then she had told one 
 or two stories, presumably for my benefit, about the 
 sanctity of sofas and the presumption of certain per- 
 sons who pushed themselves into places of importance 
 meant for their superiors. So I told her that I had 
 heard of the peculiar dignity attached to sofas in 
 Germany, but that annoyed her because she said there 
 was nothing peculiar about it and that we did just 
 the same in England. When I first got to Hamburg 
 I imagined that I knew more than Germans did about 
 my own country. But I soon discovered that when- 
 ever we disagreed they were in the right because they 
 were so much more instructed and intelligent than we 
 were. When I heard Frau Crefeld talk English with 
 a German accent I was afraid she would be instructive 
 and intelligent in the admirable but rather fatiguing 
 German way, and I was disappointed. However, we
 
 72 IRON COUSINS 
 
 had not been long together before I knew that she 
 was not going to be fatiguing at all, but friendly and 
 rather amusing. When we had known each other 
 about twenty minutes she told me that her mother 
 had been a Christian, that she had lived in London 
 with her parents till she married and that she had 
 hesitated a good deal before she consented to marry 
 an Israelite and live in Germany. She said that she 
 had drawn a big prize in the lottery of marriage as 
 I should see presently when Herr Crefeld came in and 
 that if she had a dozen daughters she could not wish 
 them a happier fate than her own. She asked me a 
 great many questions about the Davids and about 
 Isabella's marriage, and when I told her that Isabella 
 was now called Saddington and not Schlosser she 
 clapped her hands and laughed. She told me then 
 that the good Miss Campbell had also this bee in her 
 bonnet inasmuch as she was the daughter of a certain 
 Moses Cohen who had been a "Schlemihl" and had 
 died leaving his children penniless. Her father had 
 assisted the widow and children and had begged her 
 to take Rebecca for a time so as to give her a new 
 start. She had tried to earn her bread in Paris and 
 had lived with her married sister there, but the plan 
 had not been successful. The brother-in-law objected 
 to her. 
 
 My sympathies were with the brother-in-law, but 
 I did not tell Frau Crefeld so and I did not say that 
 when Rebecca had written me a note the other day 
 she had signed herself Rosamund. It seemed a pity 
 that she could not change her face and voice as well 
 as her name for these gave her away even to me, and 
 I have not an eagle eye for an Israelite. I wondered
 
 IRON COUSINS 73 
 
 what Moses Cohen had done in the world and in what 
 way he had been a Schlemihl. Mrs. David had told 
 me what Schlemihl means and what a terrible fate it 
 is to be related or allied to one, for a Schlemihl may 
 be quite honest and well meaning and even industrious, 
 but everything he undertakes will fail and bring dis- 
 aster on himself and his belongings. 
 
 "Now I will tell you about the Englishman who is 
 coming here to-day," said Frau Crefeld. "He is a 
 Mr. Quentin Hope. He is in Hamburg on business. 
 He is still young but my husband considers him very 
 solid and thinks he will go far." 
 
 Before she could say anything more about my fel- 
 low-countryman Herr Crefeld came into the room and 
 I was presented to him as "the young girl about whom 
 our dear Mrs. David wrote to us last week." We 
 shook hands and received swift impressions of each 
 other while we exchanged those commonplaces of talk 
 that act as an accompaniment to the hymn of life, 
 dislike or indifference playing its first chords in one's 
 fancy. I did not expect him to take any interest in 
 me at all. He was more than twice my age, a man 
 of affairs, a man of property. How can there be 
 anything further apart than a girl's mind and the mind 
 of an elderly business man? His thoughts must be 
 forever on his speculations and his argosies I fancy, 
 and I see more romance in his ventures than in the 
 average girl's occupation with her lovers and her 
 clothes. But Herr Crefeld did not look romantic and 
 you would not even have guessed from his appearance 
 that he had turned out a matrimonial prize. He was a 
 thin, sallow, sandy-haired man, with funny little side 
 whiskers, pale blue eyes and a nervous smile. If I
 
 74 IRON COUSINS 
 
 had had to bring off a deal with him I should have 
 expected to get the best of it when I saw him, but I 
 should have been mistaken. He was one of the richest 
 men in Hamburg and he had made every penny of 
 his money himself. I did not know these things when 
 I first saw him but I was told them later by various 
 people who all spoke well of him. He made me 
 very welcome and I feel sure by the way he looked at 
 my frock that he approved of it but knew it was ex- 
 pensive and wondered where I got it. Before long 
 Miss Campbell returned with Gisela and her manner 
 in the presence of her employers was not as arrogant 
 and disagreeable as usual. Then a man-servant wear- 
 ing white cotton gloves brought silver trays bearing 
 tea and chocolate and cakes, and as we sat down to 
 them there was a ring at the front door and a moment 
 later Mr. Quentin Hope joined us. He brought Eng- 
 land with him, and for the first time since I had left 
 England I felt home-sick. I could have stroked his 
 coat, I felt so glad to see an English coat again, an 
 English coat on broad English shoulders that I could 
 hardly have reached unless I had stood on tiptoe. An 
 English tongue, too, that spoke as our educated people 
 do, and an English manner quiet and direct. The 
 little girl Gisela took possession of him, calling him 
 Uncle Quentin and asking him when he would take 
 her sailing on the Alster again. 
 
 "I came in my boat to-day," he said, and the child 
 crowed with delight and turned to her mother for 
 permission to go out with Uncle Quentin after tea. 
 Mr. Hope told Frau Crefeld that he had his new boat 
 which would hold us all and that if Frau Crefeld felt 
 inclined we might get to the Outer Alster and have sup-
 
 IRON COUSINS 75 
 
 per at the Kronprinz on our way back. He just glanced 
 my way, as he unfolded his programme, just long 
 enough to show Frau Crefeld and me that I was in- 
 cluded in it, and I believe that he was amused to see 
 the rapture with which I listened to him. 
 
 "Shall you like that, Miss Danvers?" said Frau 
 Crefeld to me. 
 
 "I've been six weeks in Hamburg and I've not been 
 on the Alster yet," I said. "I'm dying to go." 
 
 "But where are you staying?" asked Mr. Hope. 
 
 I told him I was staying on the Alte Jungfernstieg 
 and he looked rather puzzled because the Alte Jung- 
 fernstieg is close to the Alster and most of the little 
 steamboats call there. I had only to cross the road 
 and go down a few steps to board one. But I had 
 never done it because I had never been out by myself 
 yet, and because on week days Frau Plessen's children 
 took no walks except the one they took every day to 
 school and back again, and on Sunday we had always 
 had a walk, too, in a different direction. I wondered 
 why the Plessens used the delightful waterways of 
 their city so little, but they had no boats of their own 
 and Frau Plessen would not let the children go on a 
 steamboat if she could help it. She disliked them as 
 your London mother dislikes a 'bus, considering the 
 crowds who travel by them plebeian and probably in- 
 fectious. 
 
 "Miss Danvers does not know how to stand up for 
 herself," croaked Miss Campbell in her high pugna- 
 cious voice. "With a woman like Frau Plessen it is 
 positively necessary. She is evidently unable to dis- 
 tinguish between a lady and a servant. I should know 
 how to deal with her."
 
 76 IRON COUSINS 
 
 I did not want to talk about the Plessens to the 
 Crefelds or to air my wrongs, if they existed, at that 
 table. I had not meant to explain my position to 
 Mr. Hope for I had no reason to assume that he was 
 interested in it. But he did look at me with some 
 accession of interest when Miss Campbell shed a light 
 on my obscurity and as our eyes met I saw the color 
 of his for the first time. Till then I had known all 
 about the tweed of his coat and a little about his 
 manner and his clean shaven strong face. I had liked 
 them, but best of all I liked his eyes. They were 
 honest eyes, and they were serious, the eyes of a man 
 who has good brains and uses them. I got an im- 
 pression of what Frau Crefeld meant by calling him 
 solid. She meant his spirit, not his body; and his 
 spirit looked at you out of his eyes. For a moment 
 I had an odd disturbing sensation, one to which I 
 would not allow myself to give way. I wished I had 
 not come. I wished I had not seen hnii. I made up 
 my mind there and then that when I got back I would 
 think as little of him as he would of me, and I knew 
 how little that would be. He was a prosperous man, 
 trafficking all day with the ends of the world, sending 
 out his merchandise and watching other goods come 
 in. His mind must be full of his ventures and his 
 work. There was no room in It for me, a country- 
 woman, but a chance acquaintance. We were not 
 likely to meet again, for the Plessens were soon going 
 to the country and were taking me with them, and 
 Mr. Hope talked of going to India for the winter. 
 He had said so soon after his arrival to Herr Crefeld 
 who had nodded and approved. 
 
 "Are you living with the Plessens?" he said to me.
 
 IRON COUSINS 77 
 
 "Yes. Do you know them? I teach their children 
 English." 
 
 "I was there to supper about a week ago," he said, 
 and our eyes met again. 
 
 "I have my evenings to myself," I explained. "I 
 like it. I am able to read and have a little peace." 
 
 "I hope that you always read German," dictated 
 Miss Campbell. "You ought not to touch an English 
 book while you are here. If you bring passages you 
 cannot understand to me I will assist you with them."
 
 XI 
 
 OUR boat sped across the shining water, its 
 white sails bellying to the breeze. There was 
 neither dust nor jar, but only swift smooth 
 progress, cool air, other boats about us, and in the 
 distance the roofs and steeples of Hamburg baking 
 in the sun. Mr. Hope did not talk because he was 
 busy with his boat and I did not talk because there 
 was so much to see. I liked watching his manage- 
 ment of the boat. He had long capable-looking hands 
 and he was quietly intent on what he was doing. 
 Frau Crefeld sat beside me and told me the names 
 of the places we were passing. Miss Campbell had 
 brought a book with her and was reading it. She 
 explained to us that she had often seen the Alster 
 before and considered it more profitable to read than 
 to sit idle. Gisela sat next to me with her hand in 
 mine and whispered in my ear that she loved me and 
 that I must come to see them every Sunday. Herr 
 Crefeld was not with us, but he had promised to 
 meet us at the restaurant at seven. All the happy 
 people in Hamburg seemed to be on the water that 
 afternoon. There were little and big sailing boats, 
 some flying with the wind as we were doing and some 
 tacking in the face of it as we had to when we turned 
 home again. There were ordinary rowing boats, too, 
 and the little steamers laden with Sunday traffic, and 
 78
 
 IRON COUSINS 79 
 
 long, slender racing boats manned by strenuous lightly 
 clad young men. Every garden restaurant was 
 crowded; in some a band was playing and from an- 
 other men's voices singing folk songs floated across 
 the water. The first time we passed them they were 
 singing: 
 
 O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, 
 Du bist ein edles Reis, 
 Du griinest in dem Winter, 
 Als wie zur Sommerzeit ! 
 
 Warum soil ich nicht griinen 
 Da ich noch griinen kann? 
 Ich hab* kein Vater, kein Mutter, 
 Der mich versorgen kann. 
 
 It sounded most attractive to me, but Miss Camp- 
 bell said she could not enjoy a poem in which a fir 
 tree complained of having no father or mother, be- 
 cause everyone knew that trees did not have fathers 
 and mothers and could not answer when spoken to. 
 She liked intelligent poetry that dealt with the facts 
 of life. She tried to get Mr. Hope to agree with her 
 but he was busy with his sails and only murmured 
 something about liking the sound of music across the 
 water. I could not help seeing that she paid great 
 attention to Mr. Hope and that he seemed anxious 
 not to notice it. 
 
 Soon we got past the singers to a quieter part of 
 the environs of Hamburg where there were new 
 country houses with gardens reaching to the water 
 and sometimes a boat with people in it landing or 
 coming out. In those boats I saw young men and 
 women as one does at home on any lake or river where 
 a waterway adds a joy to life and offers youth its
 
 80 IRON COUSINS 
 
 pleasant opportunities. I wondered whether I should 
 be joining in this side of life again next Sunday and 
 whether Herr Heiling would sail his boat as well as 
 Mr. Hope did. But I did not look before or after 
 for long during those charmed hours. It was enough 
 to sit in the stern of the boat and watch the shores 
 of the outer Alster as we raced by them and after the 
 heat and dust of the streets to enjoy the cool evening 
 on the water. For the sun had set by the time we 
 had turned and got inside the Binnen Alster again 
 and landed at the restaurant where we were to have 
 supper in the garden. To my mind it was late for 
 a child of Gisela's age to be up and eating with her 
 elders, but I saw other children doing the same thing. 
 I was glad she was there because we were in the same 
 mood of absurd childish delight, and I am sure that 
 as we walked hand in hand through the crowded 
 lighted gardens we trod on air. She whispered to 
 me that never before had she been allowed to have 
 supper out of doors in Hamburg though she always 
 had it so in the summer when they were away from 
 home, and I whispered to her that the whole scene 
 was what she justly described it: "Himmlisch" 
 and "enizuckend." I should not have used those 
 words myself for a big restaurant garden raised 
 above the water, crammed with people and lighted 
 by electric light. But they served well enough just 
 then for the gayety and good spirits that communi- 
 cated themselves to all of us as we sat down at the 
 table reserved by Mr. Hope and discovered that we 
 were generally hungry. Such a good supper it was; 
 beginning with lobster salad, continuing with duck 
 and peas and coming in the end to strawberries and
 
 IRON COUSINS 81 
 
 cream. Gisela ate everything offered to her and I, 
 remembering my own suppers at her age of a glass 
 of milk and a biscuit, wondered if she would have 
 nightmare. But Frau Crefeld watched the child 
 placidly and said she did not believe in coddling the 
 digestion. It was just as well to give the stomach a 
 surprise occasionally. Miss Campbell looked at me 
 with a visible sneer on her face at this, and though 
 I did not respond I thought that Frau Crefeld noticed 
 the sneer and felt annoyed with both of us. Soon 
 after the party broke up for Mr. Hope had to take 
 his boat back and the Crefelds had ordered their car 
 to meet them. They said they would send me home 
 in it and when I proposed to walk looked rather 
 scandalized. 
 
 "You cannot walk about Hamburg after dark," Frau 
 Crefeld said to me; and by that time she had recov- 
 ered her good humor for she gave me a warm in- 
 vitation to spend my Sundays with them whenever 
 I could get away. She said that I could always make 
 my arrangements with Miss Campbell when we met 
 at the Kindergarten and that when they were not 
 using the car she would send a maid with me as far 
 as the steamboat pier near them. Mr. Hope said 
 nothing when he shook hands with me and I thought 
 rather forlornly that I might never see him again. 
 For the Plessens were about to leave home on their 
 annual holiday and by the time they returned Mr. 
 Hope would be setting out for his winter in India. 
 
 We did not have the expedition to Eppendorf pro- 
 posed to the children by Herr Heiling. He spoke of 
 it the day after I had been on the Alster with the 
 Crefelds but Frau Plessen looked coldly on the plan
 
 82 IRON COUSINS 
 
 and in that household things did not happen unless 
 she approved of them. 
 
 "No! Caspar," she said. "Sunday picnics on the 
 Alster are not to my taste and I should have thought 
 they were not to yours. Leave Sunday junketing to 
 servants and to Jews." 
 
 If an Englishwoman had behaved as Frau Plessen 
 did I should have been hurt and angry. But I never 
 lost the sense of adventure while I was in Hamburg 
 and when you are out for adventure you expect to 
 meet varieties of people, pleasant and unpleasant. 
 Besides, Frau Plessen was so mightily pleased with 
 herself and her place in the world that she was amus- 
 ing even when she was in an unamiable mood. The 
 way her large mouth set itself in determined lines, 
 the high nasal tones of her voice, the opulence of her 
 attire and the elaborate waves and puffs of her tow- 
 colored hair never failed to fascinate me, and when 
 she was inordinately rude I deplored her want of 
 manners but did not let it oppress me. 
 
 "How unfortunate it is that we are not Jews," said 
 Arthur, whose face had fallen to zero when his mother 
 vetoed the Sunday excursion. "To them everything 
 is allowed and to us nothing." 
 
 "It is true!" said Olga. "I wanted a pink frock 
 this summer but Mamma said it was Jewish and 
 bought a blue one." 
 
 I laughed. I could not help it. To attach a creed 
 to a color seemed so childish and arbitrary; but Herr 
 Heiling, catching my eye, offered an inadequate ex- 
 planation. 
 
 "The Jews like staring colors," he said. "It is their 
 Oriental blood."
 
 IRON COUSINS 83 
 
 I had not observed it. The Davids and their friends 
 dressed unusually well and never loudly. Frau Pies- 
 sen was a figure of fun compared with them. Yester- 
 day Frau Crefeld and Miss Campbell had both worn 
 gray, and Gisela had been in white. However, I did 
 not give tongue to my thoughts because I had dis- 
 covered by this time that I was no more equipped for 
 an argument about Jews in Germany than I should 
 have been for one about Home Rule in Ulster. I did 
 not know enough of the situation or share sufficiently 
 in the prevalent tenseness of feeling. 
 
 "Did you enjoy yourself yesterday?" Herr Heiling 
 said to me. 
 
 "Very much," I told him. "Mr. Hope took us out 
 in his boat and we had supper with him at the Kron- 
 prinz." 
 
 Frau Plessen appeared not to hear what I said, but 
 I am sure she did because her mouth went down at the 
 corners and she spoke sharply to Trudi about help- 
 ing herself to too many strawberries. Herr Plessen 
 who rarely spoke at all at meals looked up from his 
 paper and said to me: 
 
 "So you have met Mr. Hope . . . ein pr'dchtiger 
 KerL . . . You hear Ottilie . . . Miss Danvers knows 
 Mr. Hope. We must remember that next time he 
 comes." 
 
 The way the best of men put their foot into it! 
 Frau Plessen looked thunderous and said she did not 
 intend to give any more supper parties till the autumn 
 as she would be fully occupied now with her prepara- 
 tions for their journey to Schondorf. I asked where 
 Schondorf was and she told me that it was in the 
 Frankische Schweiz, not far from Bayreuth and that
 
 84 IRON COUSINS 
 
 they were going there because there would be trout 
 fishing for her husband. 
 
 "A gentleman gets so dull if he has nothing but 
 the landscape to amuse him," she said. "The gentle- 
 men like an occupation. Otherwise they are not in 
 good humor." 
 
 "Are you going to be there long?" I asked. 
 
 "A month. Then we are going to stay with my 
 mother near Eutin for three weeks. But I cannot 
 take you with us there. She is old and does not like 
 strangers." 
 
 I wondered what was to become of me but I did 
 not ask. However, Frau Plessen went on to inform 
 me that I should not be able to return to the flat be- 
 cause Herr Plessen would have ended his holiday and 
 be at home again, and it would not be considered 
 proper for us to be under the same roof without a 
 duenna. She thought, however, that Fraulein Popper 
 an elderly friend of the family who lived in a Stiff, 
 would be able to take charge of me for a small con- 
 sideration. I should be expected to consider it a holi- 
 day and pay my own expenses. 
 
 I was rather surprised to hear that and said that 
 before closing with Fraulein Popper I must consult 
 my aunt, as I was entirely dependent on her and had 
 no money of my own. She then asked me various 
 questions about my aunt that I considered irrelevant 
 and unpolite. She wanted to know her age, her state 
 of health, the amount of her income and whether it 
 was derived from dividends or an annuity. I told 
 her that Aunt Susan was sixty and in excellent health 
 but that I knew nothing whatever about her money 
 affairs. I thought it rather unlikely that she would
 
 IRON COUSINS 85 
 
 support me in Hamburg for three weeks and I was 
 averse to asking her. I should prefere to be paid 
 a quarter's salary and if necessary live on it. I knew 
 that Marie's aunt let furnished rooms and that I could 
 probably have one for five shillings a week. 
 
 "Marie's aunt ! A beautiful room it will be ! Where 
 does she live?" 
 
 "In a heavenly old street with a narrow canal be- 
 tween the houses; and the houses have gabled roofs 
 and warehouses near the water. Frau Bach lives on 
 the fifth floor and if you stretched out of the window 
 you could shake hands with your opposite neighbor, 
 just as Kay and Gerda did in the Snow Queen." 
 
 "But how do you know all this? Have you been 
 there? I will not allow my children to be taken to 
 these slums," cried Frau Plessen. 
 
 "I've not been there yet, but next time I am out 
 by myself I'm going," I said. "I will not stay in the 
 Stift with Fraulein Popper. If I am to be on my 
 own I will lodge with Frau Bach. Otherwise I will 
 go back to England."
 
 XII 
 
 WE argued the question without heat a little 
 longer. Frau Plessen was really indifferent 
 to what became of me while she went to 
 Eutin so long as I was off her hands ; but she pointed 
 out that the proprieties would be better satisfied if 
 I placed myself under the wing of a highly respectable 
 person like Fraulein Popper than if I lived unpro- 
 tected in a quarter of Hamburg that might be pic- 
 turesque but was not considered genteel. I said that 
 as no one in Hamburg knew me it could not matter 
 much what I did or where I lived for a short time, 
 that three weeks would pass like a flash and that be- 
 fore anyone had noticed my absence I should be 
 on the top note of respectability again in the Alte 
 Yungfernstieg. 
 
 I did not want to spend three weeks with Fraulein 
 Popper because I had seen her several times and dis- 
 liked her. She was acid, quarrelsome, offensively 
 hostile to England and the English. She lived in one 
 of those almshouses for maiden ladies that Germans 
 call Stifter, and when she came to see us her conversa- 
 tion always turned on the petty intrigues and jealousies 
 of the inmates. When she was young she had spent 
 three months in Liverpool with German relatives, 
 and on the strength of this experience she knew more 
 about my countryfolk than I did. She had a very 
 86
 
 IRON COUSINS 87 
 
 low opinion of them in every way and said extraor- 
 dinary things about English girls. She expressed her 
 surprise that the Plessens took one into their house 
 and told the most sensational stories of what had hap- 
 pened to virtuous German families who had harbored 
 British serpents in their bosoms. They were stories 
 I hardly understood at the time, but I could feel the 
 venom that quickened them. She was a singularly 
 ugly woman with oily hair covering her ears like 
 beetles' wings, a yellow wrinkled skin and sharp shifty 
 brown eyes. She knew the Crefelds slightly and talked 
 of them with a disparaging note in her voice as "those 
 rich Jews" ; and she was at daggers drawn with Miss 
 Campbell whom she usually spoke of as Fraulein 
 Cohen. I would not have spent three weeks with 
 her if I could have got into a workhouse and at last 
 I said so plainly to Frau Plessen. She did not under- 
 stand my point of view and told me that Fraulein 
 Popper only stated facts with regard to English people 
 and that their moral, industrial and military decadence 
 could not be disputed. If you have never come across 
 folk who talk of your country in this way you can 
 have no idea how difficult it is to dispute their state- 
 ments and put them in the wrong. I had no statistics 
 at my fingers' ends, precious little history, and a nar- 
 row personal experience. You may say then as they 
 did, that I was too ignorant to have an opposite 
 opinion. But I had one all the same. Every word 
 spoken against England stirred my faith in her and 
 my affection, the affection that had life-long roots in 
 little things and that exile seemed to increase. But 
 I am feeble in debate and I fear that I did not take 
 up the cudgels for my country as a more instructed
 
 88 IRON COUSINS 
 
 person would have done. However, I made Frau 
 Plcssen understand that I would not have anything 
 to do with Fraulein Popper. 
 
 The day before we started for Schondorf I went 
 to the Melkstrasse, saw Marie's aunt, Frau Bach, 
 and engaged my room. It was barely furnished but 
 clean, and its casement windows gave on the canal. A 
 boat was moored just below, which I was told belonged 
 to the warehouses on the ground floor. I arranged that 
 I was to pay five shillings a week for my room and 
 sixpence a day for my breakfast. For a shilling I 
 could get an ample midday meal at a restaurant close 
 by and I should fetch myself anything I fancied for 
 supper from a Delikatessen shop. Marie had put me 
 in the way of life in German lodgings by telling me 
 stories of her aunt's lodgers, so I knew that Frau Bach 
 would not cook for me. I thought my three weeks 
 there would be quite amusing and I did not expect 
 to mind the loneliness. I meant to work hard at my 
 German and to see more of Hamburg and its environs 
 than I was able to while I was on duty at the Pies- 
 sens. For the next seven weeks life looked what I 
 wanted it to be in those days, varied and enterprising. 
 To live with well-to-do Germans as governess to their 
 children, to travel with them to a new part of Ger- 
 many and then to spend three weeks by myself in 
 respectable lodgings! These are tame adventures I 
 know, but they are all the story I have to tell. I 
 went out for to see in the traditional way, bound by my 
 decorous past and hedged in by my disabilities; dis- 
 abilities of nature as well as of class and circum- 
 stances. If I had been a man I would have chosen 
 a calling that took me to the ends of the earth and
 
 IRON COUSINS 89 
 
 if I had been a bolder woman I should have traveled 
 to them somehow in my skirts. But man is only 
 imperfectly master of his fate. What he is born 
 counts and so does what he is educated. I had and 
 still have occasional rushes of desire for the long trail, 
 the great seas and skies and foreign people. I still 
 hope that some day I may see the world. But wher- 
 ever I go I shall never enjoy a journey more than 
 I did that humble one from Hamburg to Schondorf 
 when in the early morning of a summer day we began 
 to travel through the wooded hills and valleys of Thu- 
 ringia. Such a peaceful, beautiful country it looked, 
 with little old towns and villages in safe places, with 
 rivers and cornfields, orchards and big rambling farm- 
 steads. But the hills dominate this region of Germany, 
 for they close in on the valleys where men have set 
 their habitations, giving shelter and beauty. 
 
 We were all very tired when we got to Schondorf, 
 but I did not mind being tired because it was so amus- 
 ing to arrive at a real German Kurhaus and be stared 
 at by rows of real German Kurgaste, and after we 
 had tidied ourselves, sit down to the astonishing 
 plenty of a German evening meal. The children who 
 had been cross because they were tired, recovered 
 under the soothing influence of roast veal and a real 
 Bavarian Mehl speise. Herr Plessen unbuttoned his 
 waistcoat, used one of the toothpicks ornamenting the 
 tables in large quantities, said the cooking was quite 
 decent, asked if the beer was frisch angestecht, drank 
 at least a quart of it icy and foaming, and when he 
 had finished sat down to coffee and Skat with two 
 fellow-fishermen he had found there. I tasted the 
 beer. That is how I know it was icy. Frau Plessen
 
 90 IRON COUSINS 
 
 said that in Bavaria everyone drank beer as a matter 
 of course and that she considered it safer for the 
 children than milk or water. So Herr Plessen had 
 a big glass and we had little glasses and he told us 
 that if we drank it every day for a month we should 
 all become fat and comfortable. After supper Frau 
 Plessen and I unpacked our trunks and put away our 
 clothes and the children's. We had four bedrooms 
 on the first floor. I had a little one to myself that 
 delighted me. It had a wooden box bedstead with 
 an enormous feather plumeau instead of an eiderdown 
 quilt, a big old-fashioned sofa with a table in front, 
 a chest of drawers and a washstand. Every day 
 while I was there the painted floor was washed all 
 over, the bedclothes were of linen, rather coarsely 
 woven but very soft and clean, and embroidered with 
 big monograms. The windows looked on the Kur- 
 haus garden and beyond that on hill and forest. At 
 night, however hot the day had been, a cool scented 
 air came in from the pine trees, and early every morn- 
 ing I was waked by the little gooseherd who always 
 piped the same song to his geese and called them to 
 follow him for the day to the common land between 
 the low-lying meadows and the forest. Sometimes 
 our walks would take us where he lazed the hours 
 away midst his flock, and at dusk I often managed 
 to be in the main village when he came back again 
 because I liked to see the birds separate themselves 
 and waddle home cackling to each other about their 
 affairs as busily as we cackle to our kind about ours. 
 The children were as fond of the village as I was, 
 and when we could we loitered there. The houses
 
 IRON COUSINS 91 
 
 were all detached and everyone seemed to be an inn 
 at which summer guests were boarded and passers-by 
 ate and drank at all hours of the day. The landlord 
 of the inn was usually a good advertisement for his 
 own wares. He either sunned himself outside his 
 house or drank beer with his customers inside, the 
 picture of digestive satisfaction and good humor. He 
 usually had what our rude forefathers called a round 
 belly and as far as I could see he did nothing to 
 earn his living except draw beer and distribute it. 
 But the women of the household worked like blacks. 
 They did all the cooking and cleaning, they waited 
 on their guests, they fed the animals they owned, they 
 helped to harvest the crops and they fetched the water 
 they used from the village pump in heavy buckets, 
 and they staggered up and down the hilly roads with 
 loads on their backs that looked more fit for ponies 
 than for the mothers of men. 
 
 A stream with bridges across ran right through the 
 village, leaving room on either side for the country 
 carts yoked with oxen and laden with produce or with 
 timber that passed up and down all day and at times 
 by night. Even in the Kurhaus, which was set a little 
 apart from the village, I could hear the crack of the 
 driver's whip as loud as a shot from a gun and let 
 off with the same insouciance at midnight as at mid- 
 day. Oscar and Arthur both bought themselves 
 whips on the first opportunity and practiced cracking 
 them with so much danger to themselves and everyone 
 within reach that Frau Plessen on receiving a flick 
 from one boxed their ears impartially and took both 
 whips away. I never saw anyone so ready with her
 
 92 IRON COUSINS 
 
 hands when it was a question of discipline. In fact, 
 I had heard of people having their ears boxed but I 
 had never seen it done till I went to Germany. She 
 had a way, too, of giving a child a sudden hard slap 
 across the mouth that turned me sick, for she wore 
 heavy rings, and the two girls told me how they 
 dreaded a blow of this kind and how painful it was. 
 But they took correction for granted and Frau Pies- 
 sen administered it in a matter-of-course way without 
 hesitation or concealment. She said that the most 
 modern theories advocated education by kindness, but 
 that she believed in an occasional pepper of severity. 
 
 "A child must learn that it has no will of its own," 
 she pronounced. I did not agree with her and said 
 so, but she paid no attention to my opinion. She gave 
 me to understand that American and English children 
 presented an awful warning to the world because 
 they were so spoilt and unmanageable. I said that 
 I knew nothing about American children but that 
 English nurseries and schoolrooms were managed 
 well. Of course she knew better. She informed me 
 of what took place in England and she informed a 
 family of Americans staying at the Kurhaus of what 
 happened in New York. They lived there and she 
 had never crossed the Atlantic but she contradicted 
 them flatly on various points and bridled with offense 
 when they laughed at her facts. You could not con- 
 vince that woman that she did not know everything. 
 
 "My aunt is a charming woman," said Herr Heiling, 
 "but she has always ruled the roost. She is Sir 
 Oracle, and when she opes her mouth no dog may 
 bark."
 
 IRON COUSINS 93 
 
 He had arrived in Schondorf unexpectedly the day 
 before and we were sitting in the forest with the 
 children. He had just picked up a pocket volume 
 of Shakespeare I had with me and had opened it at 
 that scene in the Merchant of Venice where Gratiano 
 reproaches Antonio for his melancholy.
 
 XIII 
 
 WE had all been sitting at supper at the Kur- 
 haus the day before when Herr Heiling 
 walked into the Speisesaal, and in his most 
 genial manner bid us good evening. The Plessens 
 looked surprised, more surprised than pleased, but 
 Herr Heiling was in such high spirits that a little want 
 of warmth could not affect him. He kissed Frau 
 Plessen's hand with an air of being pleased with his 
 own chivalry. He complimented her on her looks and 
 admired her gown. He did not literally smack his 
 uncle on the back, but he seemed to bubble over with 
 joy at seeing him ; and he told his young cousins that 
 he had come all the way from Hamburg on purpose 
 to take them to the fair at Waldorf on Sunday. Me 
 he greeted politely, but otherwise ignored. But after 
 supper when the children had gone to bed I went into 
 the garden which was nearly as light as by day that 
 evening because the moon was at its full; and I had 
 not been there long before Herr Heiling joined me. 
 
 "My uncle is playing Skat and my aunt is sitting 
 with other ladies," he said. "I asked her to come out 
 but she is afraid of the night air." 
 
 We walked up and down one of the main paths 
 once or twice, meeting the same people each time we 
 turned: two couples, visibly amorous and clinging to 
 each other sentimentally. 
 
 94
 
 IRON COUSINS 95 
 
 "Take my arm," said Herr Heiling before long. 
 
 "No, thank you," said I. 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 "I'm going in now." 
 
 "It is more agreeable out here. We will go for a 
 little walk." 
 
 I suppose I ought not to have given in to him and 
 gone for that little walk, but I enjoyed it. I hardly 
 know how to tell you how much I enjoyed it. We 
 went out of the Kurhaus garden right through the 
 sleepy, empty village and a little way into the woods 
 on the other side. We talked about German fairy 
 tales and I felt quite happy and at ease. He told me 
 that I must read "Die Versunkene Glocke" and 
 "Hamnele," and that when he got back to Hamburg 
 he would send them to me. 
 
 "How long are you going to be here?" he 
 asked. 
 
 "Three weeks longer." 
 
 "And then, when my aunt goes to Eutin?" 
 
 "I am coming back to Hamburg." 
 
 "Impossible !" 
 
 "I've taken a room in the Melkstrasse. I'm going 
 to be there by myself for three weeks and read Ger- 
 man from morning till night. I'm looking forward 
 to it immensely." 
 
 He got quite angry and said his aunt ought to know 
 better and that he would speak to her seriously to- 
 morrow, 
 
 "If you do I will never forgive you," I told him. 
 "For three weeks . . . and what is three weeks ? . . . 
 I am going to be on my own. I might have gone to 
 Fraulein Popper's Stift but I refused."
 
 96 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Why did you refuse?" 
 
 "I detest Fraulein Popper." 
 
 "So do I! Alte Klatsch-base!" 
 
 We both laughed and the sense of youth was with 
 us, youth and mischief and a world that is youth's 
 kingdom. For us the moonlight, for us the moist 
 heavy fragrance of the pines that night, for us a 
 cameraderie that did not reckon with the boundaries 
 of convention. 
 
 "I will come to see you when you are at the Melk- 
 strasse," he said. 
 
 "Yes, do," said I. What else could I say? I saw 
 no harm in it. From the beginning I had liked him 
 with reservations, and that night I whistled the 
 reservations to the winds and made up my mind to 
 take him as he gave himself, an admirer beyond doubt, 
 but one with whom it behooved me to walk delicately 
 because of the difference at that time in our positions. 
 I had complete confidence in my own sense. I was as 
 ignorant of life as girls of my home history still are at 
 my age. I had picked up the ideas of the market- 
 place about the relations of the sexes and to tell the 
 truth I was finding out, as Aunt Susan said I should, 
 that the career of governess in a private family is 
 not an agreeable one. Aunt Susan had never talked 
 to me at all about love and marriage. Mrs. David 
 had talked of marriage as a social arrangement de- 
 pending chiefly on your financial circumstances, and 
 Isabella, before she met Mr. Saddington, was all for 
 love, the right to motherhood, elemental passions and 
 the glorious crowded hours of union blessed by 
 Nature but not by Society. Isabella, you may gather, 
 was a goose, but she cackled with a chorus whose
 
 IRON COUSINS 97 
 
 voices had sounded in my ears directly I got away 
 from Aunt Susan's drawing-room in Chelsea. It was 
 not a chorus in which I had ever felt disposed to 
 join. I've been a fool in my time, as you will see 
 if you have patience, but I've never been the kind 
 of fool who thinks the world has waited all these 
 years for the whipper-snappers of a generation to 
 teach it everything. 
 
 "To-morrow we will come out again," said Herr 
 Heiling, as we parted at the door of the Kurhaus, and 
 he held my hand a moment longer than he need have 
 done as he bid me good night. 
 
 I trod on air as I went upstairs. I was not going 
 to fall in love with him if I could help it, but he was 
 undoubtedly in love with me and I liked him well 
 enough to feel exhilarated and interested. I wondered 
 what would happen next and how the Plessens and his 
 family would take it if ever he announced his intention 
 of marrying me. They would not like it probably, 
 but I did not suppose they could raise any serious 
 objection. However, remembering the story of Al- 
 naschar, I would not let myself dwell on the future. 
 My business in the present was to make up my mind 
 whether I liked him well enough to let him play the 
 lover here in Schondorf, and more or less behind 
 the backs of the Plessens. I'm not secretive by 
 nature and the idea of a clandestine courtship offended 
 my taste. At the same time all my ideas of court- 
 ship were English and I was used to hear of mean 
 and women who arrived at an understanding before 
 their friends knew what they were at. Besides those 
 moments of gradual approach when the world is not 
 let in yet are not moments to throw away. Next
 
 98 IRON COUSINS 
 
 morning when I went down to breakfast he was there 
 before me. We met without witnesses and his morn- 
 ing mood was what his evening one had been. 
 
 "You look happy," he said. 
 
 "I am happy." 
 
 "Because I have come?" 
 
 "Oh ! No !" I cried, with such conviction that his 
 face fell and I realized that I had been uncivil. If 
 I had been adroit I might have conveyed an unpalatable 
 truth in a more inoffensive way. 
 
 "I enjoyed our walk last night," I went on, trying 
 to make good, "but I've enjoyed myself every minute 
 of the day since we left Hamburg. I love being in 
 Germany. To be in this village is like living in a 
 fairy tale." 
 
 "You make the best of things. It is your nature. 
 I have known you now some time and I have never 
 seen you out of temper. I am not surprised that my 
 little cousins find you agreeable to live with. You 
 have an instinct for the art of life. It is rare." 
 
 While he talked what I should call nonsense he 
 was evidently pleased by my appearance as well as 
 by my disposition, for his eyes never left me, and 
 when I asked him if it was going to rain he said 
 something about my plain blue linen frock and what 
 a pleasure it was to see a woman dressed point device 
 for the breakfast table. He hated a Hausrock. 
 
 Just to annoy him I said I thought they were sensible 
 thrifty garments. Frau Plessen always had her break- 
 fast and did her housekeeping in what I should call 
 a dressing-gown at home, and about eleven o'clock 
 she titivated for the day, taking a long time over it.
 
 IRON COUSINS 99 
 
 She did her hair then, too, wearing a sort of boudoir 
 cap over her head all through the early hours of the 
 morning. Of course she did not show herself in 
 this guise at the Kurhaus. She usually wore what 
 she called a Reisekostum: a coat and hobble skirt of 
 the shiniest gray alpaca, heavily braided, well made 
 and yet so unmistakably German in cut and taste 
 that you would have said Deutschland tiber Alles if 
 you had met it in Mexico. Or was it the woman her- 
 self who gave her nationality away? She came into 
 the Speisesaal as I stood talking to Herr Heiling, 
 showed us both that she was as cross as two sticks, 
 asked me why the children were not down, and ad- 
 dressing a waiter told him to bring breakfast. He 
 went off at a double quick pace to do her bidding and 
 she turned to me again. 
 
 "Well, Miss Danvers, are you going to fetch the 
 children ? Must I speak twice ?" 
 
 Fortune favored me. The four children, as neat 
 as a row of pins, entered the Speisesaal, bid their 
 lady mother good morning, asked Herr Heiling what 
 time they were to start for the fair and fell upon 
 their father who joined us just then with a request 
 for extra pocket money to spend at the stalls and on 
 the merry-go-rounds. I had naturally not gone 
 downstairs until I had seen that the girls were ready. 
 They had loitered behind me to try to find a nickel 
 coin supposed to have hidden itself in the sofa in 
 their room. The boys were not my business, but I 
 often gave them advice gratis about their finger nails. 
 They still wore sailor suits though they were years 
 too old for them in my opinion, and to-day they had 
 come down in white ones in honor of the fair.
 
 ioo IRON COUSINS 
 
 "But it makes me angry to hear my aunt speak 
 to you in such a tone," said Herr Heiling, finding his 
 opportunity later in the day. "It is not the way to 
 address a young girl who is educated and doubtless 
 sensitive." 
 
 We were at the fair which was a church feast held 
 once a year in a neighboring village. My hands were 
 full of large heart-shaped gingerbread cakes given 
 me to guard by the children while they rode on the 
 merry-go-round under their father's eye. Frau Pies- 
 sen had not come with us. She said fairs were 
 plebeian and that the crowd at a village fair would be 
 smelly. The rest of us had walked there through 
 the woods, and before we went to the fair we all 
 dined at the best inn in the village. It was a gala 
 day for the children and for me. We had roast goose 
 for dinner and hot pancakes sopped in wine that Herr 
 Plessen told me were called "tipsy maidens," and the 
 children and I drank white wine and seltzer water 
 with sugar in it to make it fizz. After dinner some 
 of us were in a hurry to get to the fair, but the men 
 would not stir till they had had coffee and smoked 
 big cigars. To this day when a cigar is lighted that 
 scene comes back to me : a wide valley with a village 
 at the head of it, the hotel garden a little way up 
 one of the hills, our dinner table set in the shade and 
 the blazing sun outside it, people at other tables, 
 waiters scurrying to and fro carrying piles of plates 
 and as many mugs full of beer as a conjuror could; 
 in the distance the braying of a band and the booths 
 of the fair, the children happy and excited, but 
 struggling with the drowsy sensations that were the 
 aftermath of their long walk, a hearty meal and a con-
 
 IRON COUSINS 101 
 
 suming thirst, Herr Plessen the picture of content- 
 ment and good humor, and Herr Heiling opposite me, 
 his eyes telling me a story I could not fail to under- 
 stand. At least I thought I understood him better 
 than I understood myself.
 
 XIV 
 
 THREE weeks later the Plessens went to Eutin, 
 and I went to my eyrie in the Melkstrasse. 
 For the first time in my life I was going to 
 be as independent as every self-respecting bachelor 
 girl desires to be in the twentieth century, and I looked 
 forward to my time there without a qualm. I had 
 very little money; hardly enough to keep body and 
 soul together, but that did not trouble me. My body 
 was so well nourished with the Plessens that I thought 
 it would do it no harm to live plainly for a while. I 
 was not getting fat because I am not fat by nature; 
 but I was in the pink. I had just told Aunt Susan 
 so and she had replied that she was glad to hear it, 
 but wished I could have conveyed the same informa- 
 tion in different words. I had not told her how en- 
 tirely on my own I was going to be, because I did not 
 want her to worry. I knew I could take care of myself 
 in Hamburg or anywhere else ; but I knew that people 
 of Aunt Susan's age are all haunted by some idea 
 of danger to the young that they cannot or will not 
 explain. There is the bugbear of propriety too. She 
 might have said that it was improper for me to be 
 living by myself in a foreign town. Frau Plessen 
 thought so, but let me do it because it suited her. I 
 did not mind much what Hamburg thought, because 
 I was not going to stay the rest of my life there; and
 
 IRON COUSINS 103 
 
 I knew that London would not be inquisitive or cen- 
 sorious when I went back. Apparently it was my 
 youth that made the adventure improper my youth 
 and my looks. Because Fraulein Popper and other 
 maiden ladies lived by themselves, unimpeached. 
 However, here I was, established in my room on the 
 fifth floor, free to come and go as I pleased, having 
 my own door key. I went out for a little walk the 
 evening I arrived so that I might use it. 
 
 Nothing happened, but I did not stay out long. I 
 would have rambled through the city and enjoyed it 
 if I had had another girl with me; but a girl by her- 
 self is at a disadvantage. Even by daylight that held 
 good, I found. Miss Campbell had told me that she 
 went everywhere by herself and at all hours, and that 
 her deportment proclaimed her for what she was, a 
 gentlewoman of immaculate behavior. I had rather 
 built on her experience, because I knew myself to be 
 well behaved ; or perhaps I should say trained to a cor- 
 rect behavior in city streets. But it was borne in on 
 me after a time that to be as plain as Miss Campbell 
 must be of great assistance. I got uncomfortably 
 stared at, sometimes followed and occasionally spoken 
 to. It is not a pretty side of life to write about and 
 I need not dwell on it ; but I began to understand Aunt 
 Susan's ideas and to think there might be something 
 in them. 
 
 I had to go out to buy what I needed, to get air 
 and to exchange a word here and there with a fellow 
 creature. My landlady, Frau Bach, I hardly saw. 
 She was a gaunt, anxious looking woman, evidently 
 very poor and rather deaf. She let every room in her 
 flat and slept in a cubby hole without a window that
 
 104 IRON COUSINS 
 
 opened out of her tiny kitchen. Every day she went 
 out washing and charring. Before she left the house 
 in the morning she brought me and presumably her 
 other lodgers our coffee and rolls, and when she came 
 back at night she gave me clean plates and tea things. 
 That was the extent of her service. I made my own 
 bed and dusted my own room. The other lodgers 
 I never saw and hardly ever heard. One was a clerk 
 in a bank and the other a school teacher, Frau Bach 
 told me; and she added of her own accord that they 
 were decent, well-seen men who had not liked the idea 
 of her taking a young lady in as lodger, but that she 
 had convinced them that I was an educated lady and 
 of the highest respectability. 
 
 For a week I enjoyed my solitude. I enjoyed the 
 novelty of it and the freedom. Then, after seven 
 days of it, I began to discover that man is not made 
 to live alone. I wished the Crefelds had been in Ham- 
 burg, but I knew that they were still away. I should 
 have been glad to see Miss Campbell's disagreeable 
 face and hear her tell spread-eagle stories about her 
 folks in Paris. I even had some idea of looking up 
 Fraulein Popper, but it was nipped in the bud through 
 a chance encounter with her on a steam-boat when 
 she returned my greeting so freezingly that she can 
 hardly be said to have returned it at all, and when I 
 attempted to speak turned her back on me. At the 
 time I thought she must have heard that I refused 
 to stay with her and felt affronted ; but one day later 
 on when she came to the Plessens she told me in front 
 of everyone else that she considered pleasure excur- 
 sions on the Alster highly improper for a young girl 
 like me who had her living to earn and was at times
 
 IRON COUSINS 105 
 
 entrusted with the care of well-born children. There 
 are various ways of saying Tosh in German but they 
 are all rude, so I asked her in what way a passage of 
 a quarter of an hour in a crowded public steamboat 
 could be considered improper. She said it might lead 
 one of a frivolous disposition to make undesirable 
 acquaintances and that in fact she had overheard two 
 young men speak of me. I asked her what they said, but 
 she would not tell me and she hinted that I was prob- 
 ably vain enough already. She was a vinegar-bottle, 
 poor old thing. It is annoying to be stared at when 
 you are young but perhaps it would be still worse to 
 be so unattractive that everyone looks away. I hope 
 that I shall like young people when I am old and have 
 a large tolerance for their follies and mistakes. I 
 believe I shall, for memory makes short work of time 
 and I shall look back at my own salad days when I 
 thought myself wise and proved myself a fool. 
 
 People who have tried living alone and borne it will 
 be severe on me for saying that at the end of a week 
 I found the loneliness of life unbearable. Perhaps 
 if I had persevered and lived alone for months I 
 should have got past the depression that began to take 
 me by the throat at the end of seven days. I am sure 
 that if I had tried a bachelor life in London I should 
 have enjoyed it, for I can stand my own company 
 for a considerable portion of each day. But in Lon- 
 don I should have had friends. They would have 
 come to me and I should have gone to them at times. 
 In Hamburg, that September, I could count the people 
 I knew on the fingers of one hand, and the only one 
 of them who spoke to me was Frau Bach when she 
 brought me my coffee in the morning and my tea at
 
 106 IRON COUSINS 
 
 night. I worked hard at my German all the morning 
 and at one o'clock went to dine at a little restaurant 
 where you got quantity if not quality for a mark and 
 twenty pfennige ; about one and three pence in English 
 money. It was not a bad little restaurant as far as 
 the food and the people who kept it went, but, unfor- 
 tunately, the customers were all of the sex that stares 
 and even tries to scrape acquaintance however 
 pointedly you indicate that acquaintance is not desired. 
 There was one man who became a nightmare ; a mean- 
 looking nonentity with pale furtive eyes and a watery 
 smile. I am sure that he thought his manner insinu- 
 ating. It was the kind that edges near you if it can 
 and whispers. I tried dining early to avoid him and 
 then I tried dining late. He took to following me. 
 The day after he began that I did not dine at all, 
 but remained indoors until dusk, when I was driven 
 out by hunger and the need of buying something for 
 supper. Next day I tried to find a new restaurant and 
 hoped my difficulties were over. But they were not. 
 This time the man was big and red-faced with a chest 
 he puffed out and bulging opaque blue eyes. He had 
 a beard and was middle-aged. Probably he had a 
 wife and children. I am sure he was old enough 
 to know better. What struck me at the time and 
 strikes me still was the crass stupidity and conceit of 
 these pests. I am not describing them as especially 
 German at all. They infest every big city. But I 
 cannot understand why they do not reserve their atten- 
 tions for their female counterparts: the dregs of hu- 
 manity. What do they gain by molesting people whose 
 gorge rises at the sight of them? 
 
 For several days I lived on a tin of American
 
 IRON COUSINS 107 
 
 corned beef bought at the nearest grocer's shop and 
 did not go to a restaurant at all. At least I ate a slice 
 of the beef for my midday dinner and a penny Buck- 
 ling, a smoked herring that requires no cooking, with 
 my tea at night. So I was saving money on my food 
 hand over fist and in the flush of that discovery I 
 bought several books I wanted and wondered why I 
 had ever frequented restaurants where men congre- 
 gate and stuff and stare. Probably no well conducted 
 girl in Hamburg would do such a thing and I had 
 brought trouble on myself by my ignorance of local 
 customs. Therefore I persevered with the corned beef 
 and the Buckling, and to this day I cannot think of 
 either without repulsion. However, the Delikatessen 
 shops of Hamburg are excellent, and I had a bewilder- 
 ing choice of galantines, sausages, raw smoked ham, 
 cooked ham, smoked goose breast, caviare and all 
 kinds of pickles and cheeses when I chose to spend my 
 money on them. I was in no danger of starvation. 
 There were quantities of fruit about, too, and always 
 the best bread and butter I had ever eaten. The Ham- 
 burgers are epicures in food. But I had precious little 
 to spend and had found a bookshop that tempted me 
 irresistibly. So I suppose I did underfeed for the 
 time being and perhaps got run down. Or was it the 
 unaccustomed loneliness that vanquished me ? Or was 
 it both together with a week of gray wet weather on 
 the top? When I looked out of my window I saw 
 sheets of rain coming down straight and chilly on the 
 canal and pattering on the boat idly anchored and 
 apparently rotting where it swung. There was never 
 a sign of life in the opposite windows. I think they 
 must have lighted warehouses, but they were always
 
 io8 IRON. COUSINS 
 
 shut and so dirty that I could not see into the room. 
 My old fancy about opposite neighbors who kept you 
 company had not come true. Neighbors came in those 
 deserted rooms; came and went like memories when 
 you grow old. But they were insubstantial. Frau 
 Bach had told me that these ancient houses had once 
 been the dwelling places of rich Hamburg merchants 
 and their families and that the one facing me had 
 been built for a young man who brought his bride to 
 it and lived there with her and their children until 
 he died. They had occupied the very rooms I could 
 have seen if the windows had been clean; on a lower 
 floor there had been offices and on the ground floor 
 the goods the merchant traded in and sent to the docks 
 by the canal. Frau Bach's grandmother had been a 
 servant in the family and so she knew a little of its 
 history and told me that some of the children's chil- 
 dren were still living in Hamburg and prosperous 
 while others had sought their fortunes at the ends of 
 the earth and fared, she knew not how. I wished I 
 knew what the bride who came to those rooms had 
 looked like and what she wore and how she passed 
 her days ; but I made a picture of her for myself and 
 called her Minna because Frau Bach had spoken of 
 one of the family by that name. She had golden hair 
 and quiet, kind blue eyes, a thin, delicate nose and 
 white hands that were always busy. Children were at 
 her knees, servants waited on her orders, the head of 
 the house came to her for counsel and consolation. I 
 am afraid she was not original, that imaginary woman 
 above rubies ; but she was extremely sensible and com- 
 petent. Not in the least like me. She wished for a 
 leisure hour at times and I envied her because she was
 
 IRON COUSINS 109 
 
 pulled all ways by her world and wanted on all sides. 
 She was never alone, never doubtful of herself, never 
 out of spirits. I admire an equable temperament but 
 I do not possess one. When I had lived by myself for 
 ten days I began to think that the remaining eleven 
 days of solitude would be more than I could endure 
 and I had half a mind to damn expense and go to a 
 pension where my fellow boarders would presumably 
 speak to me occasionally even if they did not like the 
 look of me or I of them. In making this confession 
 I know I give myself away. There must be something 
 wrong about me if the society of a cheap German 
 boarding-house could hold out helping hands to save 
 me from myself. I cannot explain it or defend it. I 
 can only tell you that when I had been quite by myself 
 for ten days I looked at an old man who sold news- 
 papers and wished he would talk to me. But he was 
 busy and turned gruffly away. Next day a letter from 
 Frau Plessen informed me that her mother's health 
 made it desirable for them to prolong their visit and 
 that they would not be back yet. When I had read 
 the letter I went out in order to be with people even 
 if I could not speak to them. I boarded a steam-boat 
 crossing the Alster and tried to make myself agreeable 
 to an old lady who dropped her hand-bag and gave me 
 a chance. But she looked at me suspiciously and said : 
 
 "Englischl" 
 
 I nodded my head ingratiatingly and said that I was 
 English and that the weather seemed likely to improve. 
 
 "Englisch!" she said again and I nodded again. 
 
 "Bandits!" she said fiercely. 
 
 I naturally could not nod to that. I shook my head 
 and thereby infuriated her.
 
 no IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Thieves!" she said and glancing at her hand-bag, 
 the one I had just restored, she clutched it tightly 
 to her. 
 
 I should have got up but I was afraid to move ; for 
 the boat had just stopped to pick up fresh passengers, 
 and one of them was the red-faced man with a puffed- 
 out chest and bulging eyes. He saw me, raised his hat 
 and smiled.
 
 XV 
 
 I TOOK no notice of him but he remained standing 
 close to me and when the old lady got up at 
 the next landing stage he sat down in her place. 
 I turned my back on him but that did not stop him 
 from speaking to me. He whispered in my ear offen- 
 sively and I got up. He followed me. I should not 
 have thought that even a man of the baser sort would 
 molest a strange girl on a public boat, but this one did. 
 I had not the courage to appeal to anyone else after 
 the rebuff I had received from the old lady. No doubt 
 I looked English and no doubt the English were un- 
 popular in Hamburg. The Nachrichten and other 
 papers were training their public in the way they were 
 to go and I knew by this time that I was in an enemy 
 country. If no one else had been in earshot I should 
 have told the man that if he spoke to me again I 
 should give him in charge to the next policeman we 
 met; but I did not want a scandal on that crowded 
 boat. It was not a dangerous or a dramatic situation, 
 but it was detestable ; and it ended suddenly. I have 
 only spoken of it because the revulsion of feeling when 
 Herr Heiling came on board was so strong that to 
 this day I am sure that I know what a real heroine 
 feels like when she is rescued by a real hero. Caspar 
 Heiling and I have no qualities, I fear, for either post. 
 You will see that if you read on. But at any rate he 
 does not belong to that underworld in which the man
 
 112 IRON COUSINS 
 
 with the puffed-out chest and bulging eyes had his 
 being. He saw me at once and saw the man at my 
 side. We never discussed the matter, but I believe 
 he knew at a glance what was happening. My face 
 may have shown it and the man's attitude and manner. 
 I felt hot and angry; I know my lips were set firmly 
 and my eyes probably as indignant as my thoughts. 
 The man hung over me, whispering. 
 
 Herr Heiling came towards me with the assured air 
 of a friend. I was so glad to see him that I could 
 not help letting him know it. We shook hands and 
 began to talk. When I looked round my persecutor 
 had sidled away and with a scowling face was watch- 
 ing us from the stern of the boat. Next time we 
 stopped he got off and I never set eyes on him again. 
 
 "My aunt and cousins are still away?" said Herr 
 Heiling. 
 
 "They will be away another three weeks," I said, 
 "I heard from Frau Plessen this morning." 
 
 "Unpardonable !" 
 
 He spoke with heat and I understood him to mean 
 that it was unpardonable of his aunt to leave me all 
 these weeks alone. 
 
 "My uncle is staying with us," he told me. "He is 
 not at home." 
 
 "I get off at the next landing-stage," I said irrele- 
 vantly. 
 
 We had been together about three minutes and in 
 another two minutes I should leave the boat and walk 
 back to my lonely room and my dinner of black bread 
 and a smoked herring. I did not mind the dinner, but 
 I was beginning to dread the interminable solitude of 
 the day as a victim of insomnia dreads the night.
 
 IRON COUSINS 113 
 
 "You look ill. What is the matter?" asked Herr 
 Heiling. 
 
 "There is nothing the matter," I said. 
 
 "You look thin. You are not having enough to eat. 
 Where do you dine ?" 
 
 I hesitated. He had no right to question me and 
 no claim to my confidence, but he evidently did not 
 consider that need give him pause. He had a quick, 
 determined way with him that carried you off your 
 feet if you were not on your guard; and he had a 
 pride of sex that is exploded in theory and difficult 
 to resist in fact. Besides he was a king in Babylon; 
 and knew it. 
 
 "I dine where I choose," I said. 
 
 "Where are you going to dine to-day?" 
 
 "In my own room." 
 
 "What are you going to eat ?" 
 
 "Black bread and a herring." 
 
 I did not mind telling him. I thought it would do 
 him good to hear for once how the poor live; and I 
 certainly did not want him to pity me, for I should 
 not have pitied myself if I had only had a companion 
 in poverty. But he looked horrified and incredulous. 
 
 "And after the herring?" 
 
 "Nothing! There is a great deal of nourishment 
 in a smoked herring." 
 
 "What do you have for supper?" 
 
 I laughed and told him that I sometimes had an 
 egg and sometimes a slice of sausage; and I tried 
 to change the subject by telling him about the book- 
 shop I had found and the books I had bought. But he 
 was not interested in them. 
 
 "What do you do with yourself all day?" he said.
 
 H4 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "What shall you do this afternoon when you have 
 eaten the herring? Have you any friends in Ham- 
 burg?" 
 
 "Not one. The Crefelds are away." 
 
 "Do you mean to say that ever since you got back 
 you have lived like a person on a desert island or like 
 a convict in a prison cell?" 
 
 I nodded but did not speak. I began to wish I 
 had not met him, because I was not in a sensible frame 
 of mind. The prospect of three more interminable 
 solitary weeks and the odious attentions of the man 
 with the puffed-out chest had shaken my nerve. 
 
 "I may go back to England," I said, there and then 
 envisaging a plan of action I had not contemplated 
 before. 
 
 "Don't do that," he said. "Stay here." 
 
 "It would be running away," I mused. "I should 
 hate to run away. Perhaps the Crefelds will be back 
 soon. They said I might go to see them as often as I 
 liked." 
 
 "Meanwhile you may see me as often as you like. 
 I will call for you this afternoon when I leave my 
 office and we will have supper together . . . in a 
 garden. That is what you enjoy, I know." 
 
 I hesitated and then I consented. He looked so 
 friendly and so good humored that I could not dis- 
 trust him. What he proposed was unconventional, no 
 doubt, but every twentieth century girl of my age 
 prides herself on being unconventional. It would be 
 a little adventure and I ask you what chance of ad- 
 venture has a girl of my breed ? None whatever unless 
 she makes chances for herself. I went back and put 
 my room in apple-pie order and as I did it I sang.
 
 IRON COUSINS 115 
 
 My spirits had risen sky high and I looked forward 
 to the evening as an imprisoned man must look for- 
 ward to release. The thought of it lifted the oppres- 
 sion that had weighed me down for days. 
 
 Fran Bach was out, so when I heard the bell I went 
 to the door and let Herr Heiling in. I had not ex- 
 pected to feel shy, but everyone knows how one's feel- 
 ings let one down at times, and how different the 
 reality of a given moment often is from any forecast 
 of it. However, I made my manner as matter of fact 
 as possible, and took him into my room. He had 
 brought me some roses and I had to go to Frau Bach's 
 kitchen to fetch a glass for them. When I went back 
 he was looking at my books, and I think they had 
 given him ideas about me. 
 
 "So this is where you live," he said. "Here you 
 study and here you eat your herring and black bread. 
 A strange existence for a girl as young and beautiful 
 as you." 
 
 I am not beautiful; far from it. But I could not 
 dispute the point with him. I wanted to keep the in- 
 terview at a matter of fact level and not let it last long 
 up here. So I put the roses into the glass of water 
 I had brought for them and set it on the table near 
 my books. 
 
 "Shall we go?" I said. "I'm ready." 
 
 "But why are you in such a hurry? You haven't 
 even asked me to sit down." 
 
 I suppose I frowned a little. At any rate I re- 
 mained standing and on tiptoe to go. I was embar- 
 rassed by his presence in my room; I hardly knew 
 why. But then, at that time, how little I knew about 
 him or about any other man. I had lived the life of
 
 ii6 IRON COUSINS 
 
 a nun in a cloister with Aunt Susan and I derived my 
 ideas from books and from the superficial intercourse 
 of the drawing-room. I know now that Caspar Heil- 
 ing was a young man whose bonnes fortunes were an 
 open secret amongst his friends and that his reputa- 
 tion for gallantry did not injure him even with the 
 strait-laced. The stories about him stamped him a 
 sinner but not a villain. He had more money than 
 was good for him and gave of it liberally to pretty 
 ladies. He stood well with more than one young 
 married woman. His parents wanted him to marry, 
 but he had refused to woo some of the nicest girls in 
 Hamburg. About this side of him his aunt and Miss 
 Campbell had both dropped hints, but I understood 
 life so little that they hardly affected my estimate of 
 him. I found him attractive because he was always 
 in a good humor, had more vitality than most folks, 
 and a way with him that accounted perhaps for his 
 successes. On looking back I still believe that he 
 meant well by me in the beginning. But we both 
 allowed circumstances to enmesh us more than we 
 should have done. He ought to have considered where 
 he was going and I ought to have been worldly wise. 
 
 "I can talk better out of doors," I said. "I am 
 tired of this room. I have lived in it night and day. 
 I shall be so glad when the Plessens come back. Is 
 it going to rain? Shall I take a waterproof and an 
 umbrella? I have my key." 
 
 "Then we may be as late as we like," he said. "I 
 don't think it is going to rain." 
 
 He had been looking at every corner of the room 
 with visible interest and approval; and now he com- 
 mented on it.
 
 IRON COUSINS 117 
 
 "You are very tidy," he said. "I like that." 
 
 Then he followed me downstairs and when we were 
 in the street I felt more at ease. We took an open 
 taxi and had a long drive in it through environs of 
 Hamburg I had not seen before; and I enjoyed that 
 immensely. We got to a small hotel with a big garden 
 full of people sitting at supper. It was on a hill and 
 you looked at the river from it and the masts of ships. 
 
 "The cooking is excellent here," said Herr Heiling, 
 and wanted me to make my choice of dishes. But I 
 left that to him, for the sun was setting and the masts 
 of the ships turned golden. I don't know why the 
 sight of them suddenly made me homesick, but it did. 
 The hotel garden was gay and crowded, a band was 
 playing a Strauss waltz, and Herr Heiling, having 
 ordered a sparkling Moselle, rilled my glass with it. 
 
 "Why are there tears in your eyes?" he asked, and 
 I felt angry with myself for letting them come. I was 
 not a prisoner in Germany; I could go home any day 
 I chose. So why weep at the sight of ships and the 
 thought of my own land? Evidently I was out of 
 sorts and in a silly mood. 
 
 "I think it must be the herrings," I said, and he 
 looked surprised and puzzled. 
 
 "I have heard that onions make people cry, but I 
 have never heard that herrings do," he said. "Besides 
 there are none on the table. I have ordered stewed 
 oysters and venison and an iced bomb with a chocolate 
 sauce." 
 
 I laughed because he took what I said so literally 
 and then I had to explain that my nerves had been 
 playing tricks lately, but that I felt better already. 
 
 "I don't like being alone," I said. "If I stay on
 
 ii8 IRON COUSINS 
 
 here I think I shall go to a pension where there would 
 be other people." 
 
 "To-day you have me," he said. "To-morrow you 
 may have me again. I am at your service. Am I not 
 enough?" 
 
 He lifted his glass laughing and pledged me in the 
 sparkling golden wine ; then he quoted our well-known 
 English line: 
 
 "Drink to me only with thine eyes," he said.
 
 XVI 
 
 WHEN I got back I thought things over and I 
 decided that I would not dine at Herr Heil- 
 ing's expense again. He had said that he 
 would call for me next day and I had told him not 
 to, but I did not much expect him to obey me. The 
 evening out had done me good. I slept better than 
 I had done for a week and next morning the sun- 
 shine streamed into my room and lighted up the red 
 roses the young man had brought me. Deep red roses 
 they were and sweetly scented. I put them near me 
 while I had my breakfast and near me when I settled 
 down to my morning's reading. Perhaps they re- 
 minded me that I was young and still had roses to 
 gather and that the last gray lonely weeks were not 
 going to last. I did not settle well to my books that 
 morning, because my thoughts were on other things. 
 I had to make up my mind to be sensible and firm. I 
 thought I had succeeded, when five o'clock came and 
 I heard the bell again. Unfortunately the more sen- 
 sible I felt the less I looked forward to the days to 
 come. I opened the door to Herr Heiling, looked at 
 him and did not invite him in. 
 
 However, he came, and before I could stop him 
 had gone into my room. He did not wait for me to 
 go first and he let me shut the door. There were no 
 easy chairs, but he sat down on the sofa and with a 
 
 IIQ
 
 120 IRON COUSINS 
 
 peremptory glance commanded me to sit beside him. 
 I took no notice of it but remained standing. 
 
 "Why are you not ready to go out?" he said. 
 
 "I am not going out" 
 
 "You are coming with me. We shall dine together 
 as we did yesterday." 
 
 "No," I said and shook my head. 
 
 "Where will you dine, then?" 
 
 "Here." 
 
 "What will you have for dinner?" 
 
 "I don't know yet. I shall fetch something from 
 the Delikatessen shop." 
 
 "Very well. I shall go with you and we will eat 
 what we buy up here. If you want a picnic ..." 
 
 "I don't want a picnic. I can't have one. Don't 
 you see how impossible it is? You ought to." 
 
 "That is why I want you to come with me. We 
 will go where no one knows us and where we can 
 have a few hours together again. Be sensible . . . 
 Sally." 
 
 He had never called me Sally before and I had 
 not known before how much cajolery and tenderness 
 a man can put into his voice as it lingers over a name. 
 
 "I want to be sensible," I cried. "That is why I 
 will not go with you and why you must not come here 
 again." 
 
 I stuck to my guns for a long time; until I felt 
 quite tired and dazed. But that man had a tongue 
 and a charm and a persistence that wore down all my 
 carefully prepared little maxims. He put the comether 
 on me so that I saw our case in the light of his con- 
 victions and my own doubts as the artificial fussiness 
 of a prude. I had owned to being lonely. I was a
 
 IRON COUSINS 121 
 
 foreigner in Hamburg and not likely to be recognized. 
 I came of a nation whose women are used to a com- 
 radeship with men that he thought wholesome and 
 admirable. Why should I lag behind my own tra- 
 ditions and my own beliefs? 
 
 I could not speak plainly. I could not tell him that 
 I would have gone with him more readily if I had not 
 known that comradeship between us had become a 
 fiction, and that we stood where youth and passion 
 meet, either for our happiness or our undoing. I was 
 surprised at myself. I had said that I would not go 
 with him again and that he must not come to me; 
 but I found that all my garnered wisdom of the inter- 
 vening hours vanished like smoke in his presence ; and 
 that my determination gave way to his. 
 
 "Will you promise not to ask me again?" I bar- 
 gained. 
 
 "To ask you what?" He pretended to be puzzled. 
 
 "To dine with you at a restaurant. Once was an 
 adventure. Twice is an anxiety. A third time ..." 
 
 "But why ? Since we both want dinner why should 
 we not dine together? To-morrow is Sunday. I am 
 coming for you quite early in the morning. I want 
 to take you a long way out of Hamburg where there 
 is a great heath and a river and a little lake. We will 
 have a day that we shall remember all our lives. It 
 will stand out from the general grayness. It will be 
 as warm as the sun and as purple as the heather. You 
 have not drunk of life yet. You are not half awake. 
 Everything is waiting for you . . . Sally." 
 
 I felt stirred by the passion in his voice and man- 
 ner, but I was not quite carried off my feet yet; and 
 there was one fact in the situation that to my mind
 
 122 IRON COUSINS 
 
 was sordid but uncomfortably prominent. I had no 
 money for dinners and expeditions; and no mind to 
 enjoy them at his expense. I knew it would be a deli- 
 cate business to tell him so because he seemed to think 
 that money was not a subject for discussion between 
 us and that I showed a want of tact in mentioning it. 
 I tried to compromise. 
 
 "I'll come to-night, then," I said. "But I won't 
 come on Sunday unless I pay my own train fares and 
 take my own sandwiches." 
 
 His laugh did one good to hear. It was genuine 
 and boyish. He laughed at me now as he laughed at 
 his little cousins when they said something that 
 amused him. 
 
 "Good !" he cried. "You shall have your own way. 
 We will have a day in the wilderness together. You 
 shall bring the loaf of bread and I will bring the flask 
 of wine. It will be enough for me." 
 
 "I still think of going back to England," I said a 
 little later when we sat at dinner together in a hotel 
 on the outer Alster. We had gone to it in a taxi, 
 although we might have taken a steamboat, but he 
 said a taxi would get us there quicker. 
 
 "How can you think of it?" he said, putting down 
 his knife and fork, as if what I said took away his 
 appetite. "What do you mean?" 
 
 I hardly knew what I meant myself or even if I 
 really meant to go ; but I was not in a calm frame of 
 mind. I did not like what was happening to me and 
 I did like it overmuch; more than anything that had 
 ever happened to me before. Every moment of that 
 evening comes back to me as I write and so do the 
 surroundings in which I spent those charged hours.
 
 IRON COUSINS 123 
 
 We were dining in a big, half empty room in a corner 
 near a window that faced the water. Other people 
 were dining too, and some were young and some were 
 old, but none of them were in one mood. You could 
 see that by their faces. We sat next to each other 
 with our backs to the room because we did not want 
 to be stared at. I could not help knowing that I sat 
 there with a lover, a man whose eyes told their story 
 when they met mine and who was more restless and 
 unsatisfied than I thought he need have been. He 
 had not received any assurances from me yet, but 
 then he had not asked for them plainly. When he 
 did ... I was beginning to think that I should like 
 to be in England when he did ... in my own house 
 and with Aunt Susan. I asked myself what she would 
 think of Caspar and he of her and I hardly knew how 
 to answer. 
 
 "I have not seen my aunt for months," I said. 
 
 "What is an aunt?" he said impatiently. "Look in 
 the glass and see if Nature has made you what you 
 are for an aunt. You talk like a child. Isn't it time 
 that you grew up?" 
 
 "I'm growing up fast," I said, and that seemed to 
 please him. 
 
 "We will not come to these public rooms again," 
 he said. "I can't say what I want. I can't even look 
 at you. People watch and stare ..." He shifted his 
 chair suddenly so as to turn it still more on the room. 
 
 "Promise me to-night that you will not go back to 
 England," he said. 
 
 "I must go back some time." 
 
 "Why must you?" 
 
 "I belong there."
 
 124 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "A woman belongs where she gives herself . . . 
 where she loves." 
 
 What next I wondered ; and my instinct was to stop 
 him. He flurried me. I was not ready for a declara- 
 tion then and there. To-morrow in the wilderness, 
 perhaps; but not here in a public dining-room with 
 waiters coming to and fro; and people watching us 
 inquisitively. I looked at my watch. 
 
 "Why do you do that?" he said. "You are in no 
 hurry. You have no one waiting for you." 
 
 "I'm afraid the shops will be shut," I told him. 
 "I want to buy things for our sandwiches to-morrow." 
 
 He moved impatiently, made that angry click with 
 his tongue that sounds like Tcha and then laughed. 
 
 "You can look as you look to-night and yet have 
 sandwiches on your mind," he said. 
 
 "But if they were not on my mind to-night they 
 would not be in our hands to-morrow and then we 
 should go hungry." 
 
 "Not at all. We should go to the hotel like sensible 
 people." 
 
 "To-morrow," I said. "A long friendly day to- 
 morrow and then we do not meet again until we meet 
 at your aunt's dinner table." 
 
 "Who says so?" 
 
 "I do." 
 
 He looked at me, said nothing, called our waiter and 
 paid his bill. Then he helped me on with my coat and 
 we went out into the moonlit street together. 
 
 "Shall we walk back?" he said. 
 
 "But you live in this direction and I right over 
 there." 
 
 "I am coming with you."
 
 IRON COUSINS 125 
 
 "There is no need." 
 
 "I hope you do not go out by yourself in Hamburg 
 as late as this. Promise me that you never will." 
 
 He was solemn and persistent and I was inclined 
 to be annoyed at him. But we had an agreeable walk. 
 
 "It isn't enough, though," he said as I bid him good- 
 night. "Restaurants and streets . . . always restau- 
 rants and streets. Ungetnuthlich. Why can't I come 
 and see you in your room . . . where we could sit 
 and talk . . . just for an hour or two." 
 
 "It does seem silly," I agreed. 
 
 "Then let me come . . . now." 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 "I'm breaking rules enough," I told him. "I'm run- 
 ning risks, too. What would your uncle and aunt 
 and my Aunt Susan say if they knew I'd dined with 
 you two nights running and was going out with you 
 for a whole day to-morrow? They would have fits." 
 
 "What are fits?" 
 
 "Anfalle. Attacks of illness caused by our shock- 
 ing behavior." 
 
 We stood talking in the pavement for a minute or 
 so longer. It certainly was a makeshift way of say- 
 ing the lingering farewell we both desired, but as I 
 told him, we had had a good many hours in which to 
 say what we wanted to say. 
 
 "You enjoy tormenting people," he cried. "I've 
 often seen it in your eyes . . . when you've been 
 teasing my little cousins." 
 
 I bid him good-night.
 
 XVII 
 
 WHEN I went to bed that night I knew that 
 Caspar and I were very much in love with 
 each other and I thought that we should 
 probably return from next day's excursion a betrothed 
 couple. There was no reason why we should not 
 marry that I could see. He had money and I had not ; 
 but in England we were used to girls without money 
 marrying as easily as girls who were well endowed. 
 I did not consider myself his inferior socially. At 
 least I knew I should not if we could have met at 
 my aunt's house or amongst any of our friends. If 
 anything it was the other way. Aunt Susan's friends 
 and relations were mostly in the Church or the Ser- 
 vices and not what she called "in trade." No doubt 
 her distinctions and her prejudices were out of date. 
 At least I gathered from the Plessens that they had 
 their counterpart in Germany but naturally not in 
 Hamburg business circles. However, I did not ex- 
 pect any serious opposition from my young man's 
 family. At any rate I supposed he was prepared to 
 overcome it. I thought he was probably independent 
 of them financially, but I did not know. When I look 
 back at that time I can see how surprisingly little I 
 knew in some ways. I had never met his parents or 
 been inside his home. There had been meetings be- 
 tween the families, but I had not once been of them. 
 126
 
 IRON COUSINS 127 
 
 Frau Plessen had contrived that somehow. I knew 
 that his parents were elderly and did not go out much. 
 I hoped they were amiable. 
 
 But as I went to sleep it was of Caspar himself I 
 thought. I did not look at the future or make pictures 
 of our life together here in Hamburg. I never got 
 as near realities as that. I thought about little things 
 he had said and done and about his eyes and the tones 
 of his voice. There could be no mistake about those 
 and I was wildly, warmly happy. The September sun 
 shone into my room next day and I sang to myself 
 as I dressed. When Frau Bach brought in my coffee 
 she looked at me sourly and then looked at my roses 
 which were faded. 
 
 "They may go away," I said. 
 
 "They should never have come," said she, and 
 stalked out of the room. 
 
 I could not call her back and ask her what she 
 meant. Besides I knew what she meant. Someone, 
 probably one of her highly respectable lodgers, had 
 heard Caspar's voice in the passage and in my room, 
 and informed on me. It could not be helped, but it 
 was annoying and must not happen again. I should 
 have to tell Caspar so. I began to wish rather fer- 
 vently that he would speak out and regularize the 
 situation. The alternative was to part until we met 
 at the Jungfernstieg again, three weeks hence. I was 
 beginning to find out what others have found out 
 before me. A clandestine romance may begin in the 
 clouds but soon lands in the gutter. I hoped I had 
 a soul above convention, but I had not foreseen that 
 I might be spied on by my fellow lodgers and rebuked 
 by my landlady. It gives you satisfaction to know
 
 128 IRON COUSINS 
 
 that your own soul is one of the largest size, but 
 trouble comes when the souls of your neighbors do 
 not match. However, I supposed it would soon be 
 all right and on my way to the station I wondered 
 whether Caspar would want me to go back to the 
 Plessens this autumn. I had an odd sense of unreality 
 about the future, although I knew beyond a doubt 
 that he was very much in love with me ; but I thought 
 I should lose it perhaps that very day. I did not 
 dwell on the future more than I could help ; but I did 
 not turn my back on it either. I believed that I should 
 have to make up my mind immediately whether I 
 would spend the rest of my life in Hamburg married 
 to a German; and I had to ask myself if the prospect 
 pleased me. I thought it did. But I contemplated 
 going to England for a time, chiefly to explain Cas- 
 par to Aunt Susan. 
 
 I got to the station first and had to wait in a large 
 dreary waiting-room with a bar at one end of it, a bar 
 at which beer and light refreshments were being 
 served to Sunday travelers. There were a great many 
 of them and they all looked extremely German to my 
 English eyes. They were civilians, belonging mostly 
 to the lower middle class and bore witness in their 
 figures to the plenty and excellence of Hamburg food. 
 Some of the women were mountains of flesh and had 
 an inexplicable fondness for spurious tartan blouses 
 and shiny gray alpacas. I think all the alpaca in the 
 world must go to Germany, for men, women and chil- 
 dren are clothed in it there. A good many men wore 
 Panama hats and the little boys had knickerbocker 
 suits heavily braided. Mothers of families carried 
 long green tin satchels full of food and one party near
 
 IRON COUSINS 129 
 
 me had begun on their supply already and was devour- 
 ing thick slices of gray bread spread with liver sau- 
 sage. At the bar pert young women were serving 
 mugs of foaming beer and having jokes with their cus- 
 tomers, while at one table four or five officers sat to- 
 gether, separated from the plebeian crowd, their long 
 swords trailing from their belts, their nasal voices and 
 loud laughter dominating that part of the room. The 
 only vacant seat I could see was in their neighbor- 
 hood, so I took it and kept my eyes on the door ex- 
 pecting Caspar to arrive. I could not help knowing 
 that the officers were staring hard at me and I could 
 not help understanding some of the things they said; 
 but they did not say anything I minded much. They 
 saw at a glance that I was English, were pleased to 
 approve of my looks and accounted for my being alone 
 by suggesting that perhaps I was a suffragette. They 
 said those things as if they hoped I might reply to 
 them, but I looked past their table towards the door 
 and wished Caspar would come. Instead of him I 
 suddenly saw Mr. Quentin Hope, looking just as I 
 remembered him that evening at the Crefelds, more 
 than common tall, broad shouldered, imperturbable, 
 dressed in rough English tweeds. I felt so pleased to 
 see him that I bowed to him before I gave myself 
 time to think, and only remembered as he came to- 
 wards me that I was launched on an escapade. 
 
 We shook hands and he stood beside me for a min- 
 ute or two talking as people do on such occasions of 
 trifles that have no relation to what is really passing 
 in their minds. I felt uncomfortable. At any mo- 
 ment Caspar might appear and Mr. Hope would see 
 us meet and make off together. He would not tell
 
 130 IRON COUSINS 
 
 tales. You had only to look at him to know that, if 
 you knew anything at all about Englishmen of his 
 breed. But what would he think? 
 
 "I am going to Griinbeck," I said, for the sake of 
 saying something. 
 
 "So am I," said he. "Have you been there before?" 
 
 As I answered that I had not Caspar arrived, came 
 swiftly towards me without realizing that Mr. Hope, 
 who stood with his back towards him, was there, and 
 said in an intimate, frisky way that he had overslept 
 himself and nearly missed the train. 
 
 "I had such pleasant dreams," he went on. "We 
 were in your room together ..." 
 
 He stopped in a petrified way, looked furiously 
 annoyed, stared at Mr. Hope and made him a stiff, 
 formal bow. Mr. Hope returned it with equal stiff- 
 ness and in fact with unconcealed dislike, and without 
 looking at me again he turned away. 
 
 "Most unfortunate," said Caspar, who, I could see, 
 was now thoroughly out of humor. 
 
 I thought it was too, but not in the way he meant. 
 
 "The fellow will tell everyone he met us." 
 
 "He will do nothing of the kind," I said indig- 
 nantly. 
 
 "Did he promise?" 
 
 "I didn't ask him." 
 
 There was no time to say more just then, because 
 the doors of the waiting-room were thrown open, an 
 official bawled the naraes of the stations to which the 
 next train was going, and we were hustled on to the 
 platform with the excited, hurrying crowd. Every 
 compartment had more people in it than it was meant 
 to hold, every window was shut, and as we steamed
 
 IRON COUSINS 131 
 
 slowly and heavily along I wondered, as I had often 
 wondered before, why the Germans said they did 
 everything better than anyone else and why so many 
 English people believed them. Under the circum- 
 stances it was impossible to talk to each other till we 
 got out of the train, and when we did we walked 
 some way along a bare, dusty country road still with 
 a throng of Sunday travelers and still influenced in 
 our mood by the stuffy discomfort of the journey. 
 Ahead of us, we both saw the towering figure of the 
 Englishman, his long, leisurely stride taking him 
 swiftly over this arid mile of road. 
 
 "Why has he come here? Is he alone?" asked 
 Caspar. 
 
 "He seems to be," I said. 
 
 "It isn't likely. Probably he has an appointment. 
 But he has been clever enough not to let us see his 
 companion. One does not spend a Sunday at Grtin- 
 beck alone." 
 
 "If he is hard at work all the week he probably 
 likes a long walk on a Sunday," I suggested. 
 
 We had just come within sight of a countrified look- 
 ing inn with a large garden at one side in which there 
 were tables and chairs. 
 
 "I shall order a table indoors," said Caspar, walking 
 across the road. "If possible we will have a private 
 room. I want no more encounters." 
 
 "But I have brought sandwiches," I cried, holding 
 up my package. It was not a very big one and Caspar 
 looked at it distrustfully. 
 
 "That!" he said and laughed. "We'll eat that now. 
 I have a hunger ! also a thirst." 
 
 "But I said I would not dine with you at a hotel
 
 132 IRON COUSINS 
 
 again," I persisted. "It was a bargain. You 
 promised ..." 
 
 He laughed as one laughs at a child who argues in 
 favor of the impossible. 
 
 "One must eat," he said, "and why eat badly when 
 we can eat well? I will be as romantic as you please 
 before dinner and again after dinner, but I will not 
 go without my dinner if I can help it." 
 
 "But you promised " I began again and again 
 
 he laughed as one laughs at a child. 
 
 "I wanted you to come. You have come. What 
 more is there to say." 
 
 I tried to frown and feel angry, but he had more 
 or less recovered his good humor and I knew him 
 well enough to know that he would certainly lose it 
 again if he did not have his own way. After all it 
 did not matter much now that we were here. If it 
 was going to be such a day as he had offered me and 
 I had pictured it must be harmonious from beginning 
 to end ; and it had not begun well. We had both been 
 ruffled. 
 
 I stood by a little bridge over a narrow stream 
 and watched the village geese while he went into the 
 inn. Most of the Sunday travelers had vanished. 
 Village children, the boys with cropped heads and the 
 girls with pig-tails, stood a little aside and stared at 
 me. I had a sudden idea which at the moment seemed 
 a good one, and I opened my packet of sandwiches in 
 their sight. They were fresh buttered rolls with 
 slices of sausage between and I felt hungry when I 
 saw them. So I ate one of them and offered them to 
 Caspar when he reappeared. He looked round as if 
 to make sure no one saw him, muttered something
 
 IRON COUSINS 133 
 
 about a colossal hunger and finished two in a twink- 
 ling. What remained we gave to the children. 
 
 "If we are going to dine at the inn we shall not 
 want them," I said, and he agreed that I was right. 
 Sandwiches, he said, were very well as a snack, but not 
 as a stand-by.
 
 XVIII 
 
 WE struck a path across a great heath and got 
 away from the crowd. The heather was in 
 flower still but beginning to fade a little at 
 the tips. There was a great deal of bilberry and 
 bracken amongst it and the growth was high, so that 
 we were glad to keep the path. It was one of those 
 brilliant early autumn days when the light is warm 
 and golden and the near distance is veiled in delicate 
 haze. The larks rose as we passed by and their song 
 quivered above us rapturously. 
 
 "This evening we shall hear the nightingales," said 
 Caspar. 
 
 "But this evening we shall be in Hamburg again," 
 I reminded him. 
 
 He cut at some bracken tops with his stick and I 
 could see that he was thinking his own thoughts. For 
 that matter so was I. I had never seen him out of a 
 city before and it was in a city that he belonged. His 
 interest in the landscape was lukewarm and the night- 
 ingales were to act as orchestra to our duet. I was 
 bred in a city too, but I had more love of the country 
 in me than my companion. I knew that by the way 
 we looked about us. 
 
 We came after a time to a wooded stream on the 
 
 confines of the heath and made our way along it over 
 
 moderately rough ground. I did not mind the 
 
 scramble but my beau did. He had on rather light 
 
 134
 
 IRON COUSINS 135 
 
 kid gloves and soiled them. He scratched his boots, 
 slipped once and stained his trousers, disarranged his 
 immaculate tie and tore one of his silk socks. 
 
 "I told you it was folly to walk where there was 
 no properly made path," he growled. 
 
 For it was I who had wished to keep close to the 
 stream and follow it a little way; because I had seen 
 a kingfisher and would have gone through anything 
 to see it again. 
 
 "A bird is a bird," said Caspar. "Why make such 
 a fuss about it?" 
 
 "We will sit down here in the shade and keep very 
 still," I said. "Perhaps it will come again." 
 
 "There are no seats." 
 
 I found one where we stood on soft dry moss with 
 the trunk of a tree to lean against; but at first he 
 would not sit there with me. 
 
 "We shall both get rheumatism," he prophesied. 
 "To sit on damp earth is dangerous." 
 
 I laughed at him and he did not like that. "It is 
 true," he insisted. "To laugh at what is true is not 
 intelligent." 
 
 So he stood against the trunk of an oak tree with 
 one arm over a low growing branch and looked at me. 
 
 I am now about to describe a love scene, so if love 
 scenes of an inferior quality bore you, as they do me, 
 you must skip a few pages and go on to what hap- 
 pened next. I consider love scenes tedious unless they 
 are sustained by passion and poetry or enlivened by 
 humor, and I fear that the little one on the Griinbeck 
 heath was wanting in every quality that should have 
 made it impressive. But it is engraven in my memory 
 as an amazing prologue to the act that followed on its 
 heels.
 
 136 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "To-day you look rcisend . . . reisend," he began. 
 "I cannot take my eyes off you." 
 
 "Then you will probably miss the kingfisher/' I said, 
 keeping my eyes firmly fixed on the stream. 
 
 "Why don't you look at me? Am I less to you 
 than a bird who is not even there?" 
 
 "He may come ... at any moment." 
 
 "If he comes he will fly away again. I am here, 
 waiting for you to look as deeply into my eyes as I 
 have long since looked into yours." 
 
 I knew the German idiom. He meant that he had 
 fallen in love with me and wanted me to be in love 
 with him. Well, I was ; but the moment had not come 
 to tell him so; therefore I continued to sit still and 
 look out for the kingfisher. 
 
 "Child," he began again, "beautiful child !" 
 
 It didn't sound so silly in German as it does in 
 English; and he spoke German that day. But he 
 stopped short after he had called me a beautiful child 
 and when he spoke again he spoke impatiently. 
 
 "Have you nothing to say to me?" he asked, and 
 before I could answer him he was beside me on the 
 moss and had my hands in his. 
 
 "What about rheumatism?" I said. 
 
 I don't think he heard. He was pale with excite- 
 ment and before I could stop him he had kissed me. 
 I didn't like it. The love scene was going wrong. My 
 head ought to have rested contentedly on his shoulder 
 and tears of happiness ought to have welled from my 
 eyes. But something was wanting. I hardly under- 
 stood what myself. I wrenched my hands away and 
 waited for what he would say next.
 
 IRON COUSINS 137 
 
 "You must know," he stammered; "you must un- 
 derstand ..." 
 
 "What do you want me to say?" I asked him. 
 
 "Can I speak more plainly?" he asked me. 
 
 I thought he could, but it was not my business to 
 say so. Besides, the difference of nationality counted 
 for something. I knew a little by this time of what 
 happened when Germans became formally engaged, 
 but I did not know much about what went before. 
 However, he made some things plain during the next 
 few minutes. He had fought hard against it, he said, 
 because he had met me in his uncle's house. He knew 
 that we should both be blamed. But he was past con- 
 sidering that and he hoped I was too. Love burst all 
 bounds when it was strong enough. 
 
 "But will there be great difficulties?" I said. "Will 
 your father and mother object?" 
 
 He gave me an odd troubled glance and did not 
 answer. 
 
 "You are such a child," he said presently. "But 
 you do love me," he went on, getting hold of my 
 hands again. "You know what it means to have come 
 here with me to-day . . . and to have been with me 
 yesterday ..." 
 
 I did not speak, but he did not seem to mind that 
 as long as he could keep my hands in his and occasion- 
 ally . . . well, I told you it was to be a love scene 
 and I cannot deny that we both acted our parts. But 
 I could not shake off my vague sense of uneasiness. 
 If he loved me and wanted to marry me why did he 
 not say so; if he loved me and could not or would 
 not marry why had he said anything at all? I had 
 elemental and insufficient ideas of some things in those
 
 138 IRON COUSINS 
 
 days. I knew there were girls men married and far 
 away in an unknown world girls called "bad" who had 
 relations with men they did not marry. I even gath- 
 ered from what I had read and heard that amongst 
 girls of that kind there were differences; these being 
 the victims of a love affair, like Effie Deans or Mrs. 
 Gaskell's Ruth; and those being much painted and 
 powdered, wearing fine tawdry clothes and walking 
 past one in the dusk of a winter afternoon in Regent 
 Street or Piccadilly. I thought I knew a great deal; 
 all a woman of my world need know of that other 
 underworld in which men find pleasure and women 
 ease and tragedy. That I should be invited to touch 
 the fringe of it had not crossed my mind. I believe 
 I told you at the beginning that you would get out 
 of patience with me for a little fool. At least you 
 will if you have no understanding of girls brought up 
 in old lavender as I had been, their limitations and the 
 armor of their ignorance. 
 
 "Stay here with me," he murmured. "Don't go 
 back to Hamburg. I will go in for a few hours every 
 day and come back here to you, my little sweetheart." 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 "No," I said, "that won't do and you know it." 
 
 He grew impatient. He said he could not under- 
 stand me. He called me cold and prudish. He did 
 his best to persuade me and I could see that he had 
 set his heart on my doing as he wished. While he 
 argued he held me in his arms hoping, I suppose, that 
 his ardor would overwhelm my defences and that I 
 should give in. But I did not lose my head to that 
 extent even when he told me that I was breaking his 
 heart
 
 IRON COUSINS 139 
 
 "But after all ... one must to some extent . . . 
 think of appearances." I put it to him. 
 
 He went off at a tangent again, said I was playing 
 with him as a cat plays with a mouse and asked me 
 if I thought Gretchen would have spoken so to Faust 
 or Isolde to Tristram. 
 
 "They were tragedies," I said. "You and I . . ." 
 
 "Well ! You and I ! A young man and a young 
 woman . . . deeply in love with each other ..." 
 
 "But everyday people. Besides I want to be happy 
 and ordinary." 
 
 "I will make you happy if you will trust yourself 
 to me. I will give you everything you want. I could 
 get away for weeks very soon. We would go to Italy 
 together." 
 
 I really did not know what to make of it. Was he 
 proposing to me and sketching out a honeymoon? I 
 dare say I looked as uncertain as I felt, for he sud- 
 denly called me an adorable child and snatched me to 
 him again. It was an agitating hour. 
 
 "You will come," he cried overjoyed. 
 
 "To Italy! I should think I would," I said. 
 
 "I could not go for a fortnight." 
 
 "I could not go so soon." 
 
 "Why not? You would write to my aunt. She 
 would think you had gone back to England." 
 
 I stared at him and his eyes first met mine boldly 
 and then turned uneasily away. 
 
 "My mother made a runaway marriage," I said. 
 
 "There is nothing a man values and admires so 
 much in a woman as hingebende Liebe" he replied. 
 "Love is surrender." 
 
 "After all we needn't settle everything to-day," said
 
 140 IRON COUSINS 
 
 I. "The first thing I must do is to write to Aunt 
 Susan and I suppose you had better write too." 
 
 "I! Why should I write to your Aunt Susan?" 
 
 "To tell her." 
 
 "Tell her what?" 
 
 "Well what you've been telling me ever since we 
 got there. Not in the same words of course. But 
 if we are going to Italy together she must know about 
 it." 
 
 "What is she like, your Aunt Susan? Does she 
 take broad views of life? Would she let you go? 
 What experience has she had herself?" 
 
 I tried to explain Aunt Susan to him but I did not 
 succeed very well. 
 
 "When we are in Italy we can write to her," he said. 
 "We will not let anyone know beforehand what we 
 mean to do." 
 
 I was just going to tell him that if he wanted to 
 go in that secret way he would have to go by himself, 
 when we heard someone coming straight towards us 
 through the trees, and before we had time to tidy and 
 compose ourselves as completely as we wished Mr. 
 Hope appeared, saw us, lifted his hat to me and went 
 by. I wondered how much he had seen in that mo- 
 ment, and whether my face gave me away as plainly 
 as Caspar's start away from me, his ruffled hair and 
 the angle of his hat betrayed him. 
 
 "That man again," he said in a vexed undertone. 
 "What bad luck!" 
 
 "You see the world is always with us," I moralized. 
 "One can't be too careful. This is my last escapade."
 
 XIX 
 
 WHEN Mr. Hope had passed us Caspar looked 
 at his watch and found that it was high 
 time to get back to the hotel. Otherwise 
 we should only get the remains of a meal while more 
 punctual people would have consumed the best of it. 
 
 "If we had not given away our sandwiches we 
 might have stayed here and eaten them," I said re- 
 gretfully. 
 
 "Sandwiches are no meal," said Caspar. "I have 
 hunger." 
 
 I had not. The sandwiches I ate on the bridge 
 would have lasted me till the afternoon when I should 
 have been content with a cup of tea, and I disliked 
 the idea of going to that hotel with Caspar now that 
 I knew Mr. Hope would probably be there too. 
 
 "I think I'll wait nere for you," I said. "I'm not 
 hungry." 
 
 He would not hear of it. He said he would not 
 enjoy his meal without me and that it was childish to 
 play tricks with one's digestion and that he had 
 ordered a bottle of champagne to be put in ice for 
 us. He had great faith in champagne and its effect 
 on the temperament. After it he hoped that I should 
 see eye to eye with him and be ready to drink deep 
 of life and love. 
 
 "If you always refuse your chances what lies before 
 141
 
 142 IRON COUSINS 
 
 you?" he asked. "Will you tend children till you 
 are old and gray? What outlook have you?" 
 
 I had never given a thought to the future, and I 
 had no idea what my circumstances would be after 
 Aunt Susan died. As long as she lived I knew I could 
 have a home with her, but she had never told me 
 whether she had money to leave and whether it would 
 be left to me. I realized my ignorance that day at 
 Griinbeck. But I said nothing about it to Caspar. He 
 had offered me his arm along the narrow winding 
 path beside the river and we walked together slowly 
 as lovers do, glad to be close together and paying 
 less heed to what we talked about than to the happy 
 chances of the hour, the sunshine, the plashing of 
 the river against the steep sedgy banks and in places 
 the thicket of overhanging trees through which we 
 had to push our way. At least I enjoyed all that, but 
 he said he would be glad when we were on the broad 
 path across the heath again and that though he was 
 as good a walker as any man he hated a scramble. 
 
 "I should like to live in the country," I said. 
 
 "Then why do you refuse to stop here now?" he 
 asked. 
 
 I did not try to answer him. It would have been 
 going over che old ground and we should have arrived 
 at the same point. I was not accountable to anyone 
 while the Plessens were away, but I thought I would 
 stay where they expected me to be; in my attic with 
 my cross old landlady who disapproved of my roses. 
 If happiness was on its way to me it could find me 
 there as well as anywhere else. 
 
 "I believe you have an obstinate disposition," said 
 Caspar.
 
 IRON COUSINS 143 
 
 "I don't think I understand you," I said, and moved 
 from him a little so as to face him more easily. 
 
 "But I am madly in love with you . . . quite 
 madly," he said. "If you would only give me some 
 hope." 
 
 I remember that, standing there beside that little 
 river, I flushed and smiled; and because it did seem 
 at that moment as if I had been impatient and that 
 he was waiting on some word from me. 
 
 "Surely I've said enough. I've come here to-day. 
 I've listened to you." 
 
 I hardly know what he answered and it does not 
 matter. We walked slowly back to the hotel, both 
 feeling rather ecstatic but both, I know now, inwardly 
 uncertain and disturbed. At the door of the hotel we 
 parted because before sitting down to table we wanted 
 a brush up and I was shown upstairs into one of those 
 large rather bare but well-kept bedrooms you find any- 
 where in Germany. When I looked at myself in the 
 glass I had a shock. I had not dreamed that my face 
 could tell such tales without my knowing it. There may 
 be cold, impassive English women but evidently I was 
 not one of them. I had not known that my eyes could 
 look so large and bright and my cheeks so flushed. 
 Also, my hair was untidy and my white frock rather 
 crumpled. I did not approve of myself at all and I 
 was vexed to think that when Mr. Hope passed us by 
 he saw two people obviously a prey to violent emo- 
 tions. To him at any rate we had given ourselves 
 away. 
 
 I was so anxious to look cool and tidy when I went 
 downstairs again that I spent some time in the bed- 
 room. There was no one in the hall at first when I
 
 144 IRON COUSINS 
 
 arrived there, and I waited a moment for Caspar to 
 appear. I thought it would be pleasanter to go into 
 the Speisesaal in his company than alone. I could hear 
 a great clatter on the other side of its doors and 
 guessed at a crowd of people dining there. An elderly 
 man whom I took to be the host came through once 
 or twice with bottles of wine but he was too busy 
 to stop and speak to me. I had just made up my mind 
 to go in by myself and look for Caspar when the door 
 opened and Mr. Hope came into the hall. He shook 
 hands with me at once and asked me if I was staying 
 in the hotel. 
 
 "No," I told him, "I've only come for the day." 
 
 I did not like to tell him I had come with Herr 
 Heiling. Besides he must have known it. 
 
 "I'm just going in to lunch," I said. 
 
 "I've had mine. They give you a very good lunch 
 here. Are you still with the Plessens?" 
 
 "Yes. At least now Frau Plessen is away . . . 
 but she is coming back soon." 
 
 He waited a moment before he spoke again and I, 
 thinking we had said all there was to say made a 
 move to the door. But Mr. Hope detained me with 
 a question as surprising as it was upsetting. 
 
 "Did you come here to-day with Herr Plessen?" 
 he asked. 
 
 I looked up at him to discover his meaning and I 
 was astonished to see how serious his face was. 
 
 "He is in there with the Heilings," he said. 
 
 "The Heilings!" 
 
 "His relations . . . the people who live on the 
 Uhlenhord. The young man is their son." 
 
 I looked down at the floor meditatively and won-
 
 IRON COUSINS 145 
 
 dered what I had better do. Should I walk boldly 
 in and approach Herr Plessen ? Was Caspar in there ? 
 Where was he and what would he do? 
 
 "For you, Fraiilein," said a waiter at my elbow, 
 and handed me an envelope on which my name was 
 written in Caspar's hand. I took it and the man went 
 back into the Spcisesaal. I opened it and read what 
 was inside. 
 
 "Leave the hotel at once and return to Hamburg by the next 
 train. You must not be seen. My parents and uncle are here. 
 I will come to the Melkstrasse to-night and explain. Ver- 
 dammtes Ungliick. Thy Caspar." 
 
 Inside the letter was a ten-mark note which was 
 presumably meant for my return fare. It fluttered 
 to the ground and my cheeks grew hot as Mr. Hope 
 picked it up and gave it back to me. I was so angry 
 that I did not know what to say or what to do. I 
 should think a man who is struck in public must feel 
 much as I did when I read that letter while Mr. Hope 
 stood there and watched me. My mind was far from 
 clear. Should I allow myself to be ignominiously 
 bundled home at Caspar's expense or should I brave 
 him, walk into the Spcisesaal, speak to Herr Plessen, 
 order lunch and sit down by myself to eat it? I was 
 in a dilemma and I had myself to blame. 
 
 "Is anything wrong?" said Mr. Hope. "Can I help 
 you?" 
 
 I made up my mind suddenly. 
 
 "When is there a train back to Hamburg?" I asked. 
 
 "There is just time to catch one," he said, looking 
 at his watch. "I am going by it." 
 
 "So am I," I said, and walked out of the hotel with 
 him.
 
 146 IRON COUSINS 
 
 He asked no questions. He showed no surprise. 
 When we got to the station he took my ticket with 
 his own and when the train came up he found an 
 empty compartment and we traveled in it together. But 
 my thoughts were on fire and the very kindness of 
 his manner helped to trouble me. At first I tried to 
 talk indifferently, but I was not mistress of myself 
 enough yet to do that well. 
 
 "I think I shall go straight back to England," I said 
 suddenly. 
 
 "I would if I were you," he said. 
 
 I liked him better than ever as I sat there opposite 
 him, eating my heart out in loneliness and wishing 
 he was an old friend instead of a new one. He was 
 England at that hour when I wanted England, wanted 
 her ways that were my ways, her speech that I un- 
 derstood, her honor that was my own. But had I done 
 her credit? What was England thinking of me behind 
 that steady manner and those quiet eyes. 
 
 "Have you a home waiting for you ?" he asked me. 
 
 I told him that I had but that I had promised the 
 Plessens to stay with them a year and wanted to keep 
 my promise if I could. 
 
 "When will the year be up?" 
 
 "Not till next May. I've only been in Germany 
 four months." 
 
 He did not repeat his advice or say a further word 
 that could encourage me to confide in him; and I 
 should have been ashamed to do so. My intimate 
 personal griefs were not his concern and he could not 
 help them. I hardly understood then how much he 
 did help by being himself and taking me back to Eng- 
 land where by right of birth and breeding I belonged.
 
 IRON COUSINS 147 
 
 "Sometimes I get homesick," I admitted. 
 
 "So do I," he said. "I'm going back next year." 
 
 I stared out of the window and battled with myself 
 for self-control. I hardly know how to describe my 
 condition to you because it was so vehement and so 
 confused. I was angry, hurt, disappointed, enlight- 
 ened, miserable. I had been treated insolently and the 
 sting lay in the thought that I had myself to blame. 
 I was too furious for sorrow, too much offended for 
 heartache. When I thought of the morning I raged, 
 and when I pictured the morrow I believed that I 
 should know what to do and say. At the moment I 
 hardly knew whether I wanted to laugh or cry, and 
 to my intense humiliation in the midst of a profound 
 silence I began to do both. At first Mr. Hope looked 
 discreetly out of the window and said nothing. In 
 fact, I spoke first and tried to apologize. 
 
 "I'm rather run down," I explained. "I must get 
 some quinine to-morrow." 
 
 "I should go to England to-morrow if I were you," 
 he said unexpectedly. 
 
 I was so surprised by the decision with which he 
 spoke that I stopped crying and looked at him. 
 
 "You are not old enough or ... experienced 
 enough to be knocking about Hamburg without any- 
 one to look after you," he went on. "I hate to see it." 
 
 "I'm nearly twenty-one. I ought to be old enough 
 to take care of myself." 
 
 "Promise me that you will go straight home," he 
 said. 
 
 "But there is no need. I assure you that I can take 
 care of myself." 
 
 "A moment ago you talked of going."
 
 I 4 8 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I always think of it as a bolt hole. But I won't 
 bolt. I'll stay." 
 
 "I'd write to your father if I knew his address," 
 he said almost angrily. 
 
 "What would you say?" 
 
 His look was so direct and so explanatory that there 
 was no need to speak. My own eyes sank before it. 
 
 "You don't understand," I said. 
 
 He did not argue. He did not scold or persuade. 
 But I thought he judged me and condemned. I felt 
 so sure of this that I wanted to defend myself. The 
 difficulty was to know how.
 
 XX 
 
 'O be in a foreign country is like being on a 
 desert island," I began sententiously. "One 
 is lonely." 
 
 "I have not observed it in your case," he said dryly. 
 
 That checked me. 
 
 "I have been living alone for more than three 
 weeks," I said. "Perhaps you have never tried that." 
 
 "I always live alone. I prefer it." 
 
 "But you have friends." 
 
 "I had no friends when I first came to Hamburg 
 two years ago." 
 
 "What did you do?" 
 
 "I worked." 
 
 "I work. I've been working hard at German. But 
 one wants to play, too. Besides it gets on one's nerves. 
 I did not think it would beforehand. But now I 
 know." 
 
 "What got on your nerves ?" 
 
 "I'm telling you. The loneliness. I've been as 
 lonely as the man in the lighthouse who saw the sea 
 in streaks and disturbed the traffic. I began to get 
 afraid." 
 
 "I wish I'd known," he said. 
 
 "I only have another three weeks of it," I told him. 
 "I can stand that." 
 
 "Sure?" 
 
 "Quite sure." 
 
 149
 
 150 IRON COUSINS 
 
 He did not look satisfied and he certainly did not 
 look indifferent, but I could not add anything to what 
 I had told him. After all we were strangers. 
 
 "I am going to England in a few days," he said, 
 "and then I am going to India for six months. I 
 expect to be back in Hamburg in May or June." 
 
 That is all that passed between us, at least all that 
 can be written down. What happened to me in this 
 second encounter with Mr. Hope has happened over 
 and over again to men and women. How can I say 
 it? I was in love with Caspar. There is no denying 
 that. I was smarting with the indignity he had put 
 on me. And at the very height of the angry memory 
 and humiliation that consumed me chance threw me 
 into the company of a man whose boots the German 
 was not good enough to black. He was not for me, 
 but I could take his measure. I thought of stories 
 where a girl of the working class loves a gentleman, 
 but marries one of her own kind. There was no 
 difference of class between Mr. Hope and me, but he 
 had age, sex and circumstances in his favor; and 
 character. I knew he must think badly of me and I 
 wished him to think well. But the probability was 
 that we should never meet again. 
 
 Our ways parted when we left the train, and he 
 bid me good-by with impassive politeness. I watched 
 him get into a taxi while I waited for my tram to 
 start. He had seen me into it before he went himself, 
 and two young women opposite me had stared at him 
 and at me curiously. 
 
 "A giant," said one watching him depart. "Such 
 an English giant." 
 
 "I like them not," said the other gloomily. "I like
 
 IRON COUSINS 151 
 
 not men who remind me of pine trees. One could 
 not become attached to a pine tree." 
 
 The other sighed. 
 
 "But this one was handsome, Marikka," she said. 
 "That one must love him. He was handsome." 
 
 "So is a pine tree," said the other. "But I do not 
 wish to put my arms around one. There was no ex- 
 pression in his face when he bid his sweetheart 
 good-by." 
 
 "How do you know that she is his sweetheart?" 
 whispered the other with a stealthy glance at me. 
 
 "By her eyes as she looked after him," said the other, 
 and took my breath away. 
 
 I certainly had been sorry to see my countryman 
 go, but I had not thought I showed it plainly. When 
 I reached home the first thing I did was to put a ten- 
 mark note in an envelope, address it to Herr Caspar 
 Heiling and post it. Then I found Frau Bach in her 
 lair and told her that I was tired and would not see 
 anyone who called that evening. 
 
 "Who should call ?" she asked suspiciously. 
 
 "Only one might," I pointed out. 
 
 "The Fraulein told me a week ago that she had 
 not a friend in Hamburg. When one has no friends 
 one has no callers. That is what I said to myself 
 when I saw the roses which must have cost ten marks 
 at least. I said to myself the Fraulein is highly re- 
 spectable and a teacher and she has no friends in 
 Hamburg. Why then does she receive expensive 
 flowers and go out at night and be away the whole 
 of Sunday in a dress of white lace . . ." 
 
 "Muslin," I interrupted, "embroidered muslin." 
 
 "Lace !" persisted the old woman who had followed
 
 152 IRON COUSINS 
 
 me back into my room and now stood on the threshold, 
 a lean denunciatory figure, pointing one skinny hand 
 at me and raising her voice shrilly as she continued 
 her expostulations. "Lace ! which this morning was 
 fresh from the wash and now is crumpled and stained 
 with earth. Where has the Fraiilein been all day 
 then? A respectable Fraulein who goes for a walk 
 by herself and comes back to her room I understand, 
 but such an appearance as the Fraulein now presents 
 gives me thoughts and thoughts are what my nerves 
 cannot endure about any of my inmates. I told the 
 Herr Lehrer I did not let to ladies because with ladies 
 one never knows. They may look like doves and con- 
 duct themselves like serpents. But Marie assured me 
 that the Fraulein was one of the quiet kind." 
 
 "So I am," I said. "When have you known me 
 to make a noise?" 
 
 "One may be as quiet as a mouse and yet behave 
 like a serpent," muttered the old woman, and assisted 
 by my gesture of dismissal she hobbled out of the 
 room. But she returned a little later with a tray and 
 tea things. 
 
 "I am going out," she said. "A poor woman who 
 works as hard as I do all the week expects a little 
 rest on Sundays. If anyone comes you must open 
 the door yourself. For what happens when I am away 
 I cannot be responsible." 
 
 "I shall not open the door," I said. "Anyone who 
 comes must go away again." 
 
 I spoke austerely. If it had been worth while I 
 should have given her notice and found myself other 
 quarters, but it was not. In most German cities fur- 
 nished rooms are taken by the month and paid before-
 
 IRON COUSINS 153 
 
 hand. I had settled with Frau Bach for mine and 
 had it till Frau Plessen came back. 
 
 I was very short of money. Aunt Susan had not 
 sent me any since I left and I did not want to come 
 on her if I could help it. The ten-mark note I had 
 just posted to Herr Heiling was a serious outlay, and 
 I could not have left these rooms in a hurry and gone 
 to others without borrowing money. I should have 
 had to approach Herr Plessen to do that and explain 
 why I wanted it. That I shrank from and in a mazed 
 state of mind I brewed my tea with a spirit lamp 
 and wondered how I had managed to get myself into 
 such a quandary. That morning my outlook on life 
 had been golden; to-night it was gloomy. At break- 
 fast I had thought of my little adventures with amuse- 
 ment and longed for the day that was to bring them 
 to a climax. To-night my dreams seemed as silly as 
 Alnaschar's, and the scene by the river one that rode 
 my memory with shame. Never again, I vowed, and 
 I knew that I could trust myself. Yet, an hour later 
 when I heard the expected ring at the door my heart 
 beat violently. He had kept his word and come. 
 
 But I was determined not to let him in. I heard 
 him ring twice and thrice and did not stir from my 
 seat by the window. I did not stir when I heard 
 someone go to the door, a short low-toned colloquy 
 and then my own door opened widely. I did not stir 
 when I looked up and saw Caspar across the threshold 
 with the school-teacher looking over his shoulder at 
 me from behind. Then my door shut and we were 
 together in the sunset lights that streamed radiantly 
 through the window. He waited a moment and looked 
 at me. Then with an air of assurance that was not
 
 154 IRON COUSINS 
 
 quite borne out by the anxiety in his eyes he drew 
 the nearest chair close to mine, sat down and tried 
 to seize one of my hands. But I had had enough of 
 that. 
 
 "You are angry with me," he said. 
 
 "I am so angry that I cannot talk about it. I have 
 only one thing to say. Be good enough to go and not 
 to come back. I will not have you calling here." 
 
 "But where can we meet?" 
 
 "We shall meet every day before long at your 
 uncle's house." 
 
 "What is the good of that? Besides I cannot wait. 
 Long before my aunt comes back we shall have made 
 up our minds. The present situation is impossible." 
 
 "Quite impossible. Therefore I end it. Good- 
 night !" 
 
 I got up and found to my vexation that I was 
 trembling rather violently. I hoped he did not see 
 it and that I did not look as undignified as I felt. 
 He seemed a good deal disturbed himself and made 
 those inarticulate sounds of surprise and impatience 
 that convey so much and are so difficult to answer. 
 
 "What could I do?" he began. "What would you 
 have had me do? Confess to my parents and my 
 uncle that we were spending the day together at 
 Griinbeck? Appear before them in your company!" 
 
 "I admit that I ought not to have gone," I said 
 stiffly. "I blame myself more than you. In fact, I 
 do not blame you at all. No doubt you acted accord- 
 ing to your lights." 
 
 "What do you mean? You stand there looking as 
 proud as Lucifer. You know I'm crazy for you. You 
 know I want you."
 
 IRON COUSINS 155 
 
 He took a step towards me and I saw that he really 
 was in a crazy mood which somehow or other I had 
 better quell. I pointed to the communicating door 
 between my room and the next. 
 
 "I wish you would take care what you say and 
 speak in a lower voice," I said. "Probably the man 
 who let you in is at the key-hole." 
 
 He swore under his breath and glowered at me. 
 
 "Come away from this garret then," he muttered. 
 "Come and dine somewhere and after dinner . . ." 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 "You are a coquette," he cried, striking one hand 
 with the other. "You lure a man on and then . . . 
 what is it that you want? I swear that a few hours 
 ago you were willing. If I had not been a fool . . . 
 come with me now . . ." 
 
 He spoke harshly and in a tone of command, but 
 that only stiffened me. 
 
 "You should try to understand," I counseled him. 
 "Everything is at an end between us. We have both 
 made a mistake." 
 
 "Unsinn . . . nonsense! I have made no mistake. 
 I am colossally in love with you . . ." 
 
 "Oh ! don't be silly," I said, and sat down. "Colos- 
 sally! That's about the right word for it." 
 
 "You are in an impossible mood," he growled. "I 
 had better go." 
 
 "Good-night !" I said and bowed him out of the 
 door. When he had departed the strength seemed 
 to go from me, I hardly know why. I sat down again 
 beside the window and stayed there till the darkness 
 came, thinking over the day's doings. I was not proud 
 of the part I had played.
 
 XXI 
 
 AL that night and most of the next day I was 
 in two minds what to do. If I went straight 
 back to England I should simplify my own 
 affairs but I should be causing some inconvenience to 
 the Plessens. They had certainly not consulted my 
 convenience lately, but then they had not known that 
 my solitary life was turning out a failure. I had 
 written to Frau Plessen once or twice but I had not 
 told her that. Besides I had covenanted with the 
 Plessens and with Aunt Susan for a year in Germany 
 and I wanted to see the year out and take the rough 
 with the smooth. Twice I had said I would go back 
 to England and each time the moment the words were 
 out of my mouth I had known I should not act on 
 them. The easiest way is not always the way one 
 elects to take. 
 
 I had looked forward to the winter in Hamburg. 
 The children had told me of skating on the Alster 
 and of the celebrations at Christmas and New Year. 
 Aunt Susan had said in her last letter that if I stayed 
 on she might shut up the house in Chelsea and spend 
 some months in Rome. I must make up my mind 
 one way or the other and make it up quickly. Frau 
 Plessen would want to know. Aunt Susan would want 
 to know. I wrestled with myself and got no further. 
 All my searchings of the heart played round a central 
 156
 
 IRON COUSINS 157 
 
 figure and my choice would have been unperplexed 
 if I had known better what Caspar would do. Was 
 that episode closed, leaving me sore and disappointed, 
 but with a reserve of pride on which I could depend? 
 Or would he try to batter my reserve down and by 
 being aflame himself set me on fire again? Could 
 I withstand him? In one sense, of course, I could. 
 The idea of a marriage that was not a marriage; of 
 a temporary union called by some fine name and end- 
 ing at the man's pleasure or at mine never frightened 
 or allured me. Our love did not reach the heights 
 of such tragedy or sink to such baseness. I was neither 
 a heroine nor an adventuress, but an every-day young 
 woman brought up with every-day ideas of right 
 and wrong. Perhaps they tended to make life dull 
 but I could not get rid of them on that account. 
 On fait ce qu'on pent, and I was never even tempted. 
 The suspicion that Caspar had wished to offer me 
 his left hand, but not his right fermented in my mind 
 with destructive force. I was in no danger with a 
 man who had covertly insulted me. When my wrath 
 had spent itself I should laugh at him. At least I 
 hoped so. The real difficulty lay in the reality of his 
 attachment. I did not know him well enough to know 
 whether it would survive denial. 
 
 I still felt uncertain what to do when the decision 
 was taken out of my hands by one of those common 
 but upsetting events that alter the procedure of life 
 at a moment's notice. Herr Plessen arrived at the 
 Melkstrasse that afternoon and I saw at a glance that 
 something untoward had happened. After greeting 
 me politely and taking the easy chair near the window 
 he said:
 
 158 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Are you nervous?" 
 
 I wondered what he meant. When he came in I 
 thought at first that he had heard of my being at 
 Griinbeck with Caspar yesterday and that there was 
 going to be what Germans call Krach and what we 
 call the devil to pay, but I knew in a moment that 
 his was as well disposed as usual towards me and that 
 his trouble was his own. 
 
 "Are you nervous," he repeated, "nervous about 
 infection?" 
 
 "Not more than other people." 
 
 "Have you had scarlet?" 
 
 "Scarlet fever? I don't think so." 
 
 He looked at me in his ruminating way that always 
 reminded me of a cow chewing the cud. 
 
 "How is it that you only think and do not know?" 
 he said. "One should know such things about one- 
 self." 
 
 "One should," I agreed. "I can ask Aunt Susan." 
 
 "It would take some hours," he objected, looking 
 worried. "Even by telegram it would take some 
 hours, and the children have no one with them." 
 
 "What?" I cried. "The children . . ." 
 
 "Not all of them. Only Arthur and Trudi. They 
 arrived at midday. Their mother sent them home. 
 She was afraid it might be measles, but Dr. Jastrow 
 says it is scarlet which is far worse." 
 
 "But was the flat ready for them?" 
 
 "My wife had telegraphed to the girls and they 
 had got a room ready, but when they heard that it 
 was scarlet Sophie sat down and howled and Marie 
 ran out of the house. So I locked the children in and 
 came here."
 
 IRON COUSINS 159 
 
 "It was the best thing to do. Have you a taxi 
 waiting?" 
 
 He looked immensely relieved. 
 
 "You will come?" he said. "You are not afraid?" 
 
 I had opened my little trunk and was shoveling my 
 few possessions into it at top speed. One of them was 
 the crumpled white lawn dress I had worn yesterday. 
 A sprig of heather was still pinned near the waist. I 
 left it there. 
 
 "Will Frau Plessen come?" I asked. "Have you let 
 her know about Marie ?" 
 
 "She knows. She will not come. She has never 
 had scarlet and says that for the sake of the other 
 children it would not be right to run any risks. She 
 is always in the highest degree nervous about in- 
 fection." 
 
 He sighed heavily and I continued to open drawers, 
 empty them and shut them again. I had packed my 
 books first. 
 
 "It is a terrible business," he said. "For months 
 no one will be able to come near us . . ." 
 
 "Months! You mean weeks." 
 
 "Months. First the illness must run its course and 
 then the children must be segregated for six weeks. 
 After that the room has to be papered and painted, the 
 bedding has to be disinfected . . . my head goes 
 round when I think of all there is to be done. The 
 doctor wants a sheet dipped in carbolic and hung at 
 the door. How am I to know which sheet my wife 
 would use for such a purpose? I shall probably take 
 her best one and hear of it to the end of my life. 
 And there are no nails over our doors from which one 
 can hang sheets. Besides the very idea of nails in
 
 160 IRON COUSINS 
 
 conjunction with sheets would bring my wife back 
 by the first train and then she would probably get 
 scarlet and die of it. If I can telegraph that you are 
 there she will feel more tranquil. We need not tell 
 her about the sheet and if we spoil one we will quickly 
 buy another like it. But she would probably find 
 us out." 
 
 "Never mind!" I said, shutting down my trunk. 
 "If we get the children safely through scarlet fever 
 sheets will not matter much." 
 
 I am sure he did not agree with me and thought 
 that I was making light of a serious subject, but as 
 I was ready now he said that he would go out and 
 find a taxi. I was rather surprised that he did not 
 send me for one while he sat still, but I had to see 
 Frau Bach and was glad to get that over in his ab- 
 sence. For there was no knowing what she would 
 say. I found her in the kitchen. 
 
 "Here is the money I owe you," I said, holding it 
 out "I am going back to the Jungfernstieg at once." 
 
 I did not ow her anything for rent as I had paid 
 that in advance, but every Monday morning she 
 brought me a little bill for bread, milk, light and such 
 like odds and ends, and I had found it as usual on my 
 breakfast tray this morning. She looked at me suspi- 
 ciously. 
 
 "So!" she said. So! The Fraiilein goes back in 
 so great a hurry! Tell Marie then to visit me soon. 
 From her I hear all that happens at the Jungfernstieg." 
 
 "Marie has run away," I said. 
 
 "Who told you such a thing?" 
 
 "Herr Plessen. Sophie howls but at any rate she
 
 IRON COUSINS 161 
 
 stays. When I get there she will cease to howl. .We 
 shall be busy." 
 
 "What then has happened?" 
 
 "Two of the children have scarlet." 
 
 She gave a screech like a steam-engine or a cocka- 
 too. 
 
 "But the Herr has probably been with his children 
 and comes straight from their bedside to my house," 
 she cried. "Such a thing is forbidden . . . polizeilich 
 forbidden. He could be punished." 
 
 "Oh! don't be silly," I said. "Good-by!" I was 
 not inclined to waste many words on her and I was 
 about to walk out of the kitchen when she called me 
 back. 
 
 "The Fraulein has not paid enough," she said. 
 
 "I've paid what you've charged me," I said in 
 some surprise. 
 
 "The Fraulein did not tell me she was leaving to- 
 day. I thought there would be another bill. The 
 Fraulein has not paid anything for hot water." 
 
 "For hot water?" 
 
 Every day the Fraulein has had hot water with 
 which to wash herself. . . . It is a habit like any other 
 and if the Fraulein can afford it she is right to indulge 
 herself. But it was made hot on my oil stove and it 
 costs money." 
 
 "How much ?" I said, taking out my purse. 
 
 "Twenty marks." 
 
 I took a thaler out of my purse. 
 
 "I will not pay more," I said. 
 
 She pursued me back to my room for the sake 
 of informing me in her squeaky disagreeable treble 
 that she regretted having let to me and that the highly
 
 162 IRON COUSINS 
 
 respectable Herr Lehrer had complained only this 
 morning that I was talking late last night with a gentle- 
 man. As she had been out she did not know who 
 the gentleman was and he had apparently refused to 
 give his name. . . . 
 
 Herr Plessen came into the midst of it followed by 
 the taxi man whom he had persuaded to fetch my 
 trunk. When Frau Bach saw him she retreated to the 
 furthest corner of the room and held out her arms 
 as if to keep him off. 
 
 "What ails her?" said Herr Plessen in English. 
 
 "She is afraid of infection and she is furious with 
 me because I will not pay twenty marks for hot 
 water." 
 
 "For hot water ! What hot water ?" 
 
 "She has brought me some every day to wash with." 
 
 "In a large can?" 
 
 "In a little jug. I've paid her three marks." 
 
 "Never have I paid for such a thing," said Herr 
 Plessen. 
 
 "I thought perhaps it was the German custom," I 
 began. 
 
 "To ask twenty marks for hot water? It is an 
 impudence. Simply an impudence!" 
 
 He said that in German and addressed himself to 
 Frau Bach. She looked at me with venom in her 
 bleared old eyes. 
 
 "When a beautiful young lady receives visits from 
 rich gentlemen," she began in a sickly tone that gave 
 me nausea, "rich gentlemen who can send roses at this 
 season of the year . . ." 
 
 "What is she muttering about?" said Herr Plessen,
 
 IRON COUSINS 163 
 
 and turning to her sternly he said: "Shut thy mouth. 
 Know you not that the young lady is English?" 
 
 "An accursed race!" she whined. "An accursed 
 race! Do I not read it in the Nachrichten when the 
 Herr Lehrer throws it away? Often I read it and 
 it is true. Stands she there as if the world belonged 
 to her, and what is she ? One who comes here as she 
 says to study and lead a quiet life. One who has no 
 friend and must be coddled with tea at all hours, and 
 hot water and I know not what. But gentlemen she 
 knows, both young and old it seems. I like it not. 
 If the children have scarlet their mother should be 
 with them. Where then is their mother? Does the 
 Gn'ddige Frau know that you leave my house and go 
 bag and baggage with the Herr Gemahlf What am 
 I to believe?" 
 
 We fled before her tongue and got into the taxi. 
 
 "Such women should be drowned," said Herr Pies- 
 sen. "She is what you call a shrew." 
 
 "Oh! worse!" I cried. "A virago! I never came 
 across anyone like her before."
 
 XXII 
 
 HERR PLESSEN did not approve of my say- 
 ing that I had never met anyone like Frau 
 Bach because he thought it cast a slur on 
 Germany. 
 
 "In England also there are women who scold," he 
 said. 
 
 "No doubt." 
 
 "One reads of them in Shakespeare." 
 
 "And in Chaucer." 
 
 "Chaucer! I do not know. One has not time for 
 everything. But that was an evil old woman. Why 
 did you go there?" 
 
 "She is Marie's aunt." 
 
 "Is that a reason? So do all women argue. They 
 have no logical sense. I remember now. My wife 
 told me you were with people she knew. I thought 
 she meant a decent burgherly household where you 
 would have been well looked after." 
 
 "Are the children very bad?" I asked. "How is it 
 they were allowed to travel with the fever on them?" 
 
 He shrugged his shoulders and explained that his 
 wife was staying in a country place where there was 
 only a village doctor and that she had bundled the 
 children home without consulting him. The journey 
 did not seem to have harmed them, and if you are to 
 164
 
 IRON COUSINS 165 
 
 have scarlet it is better to be in Hamburg than in the 
 wilds." 
 
 "With children there is always something," he said 
 philosophically, and then he added: "I shall come 
 every day on my way to business to see how things 
 go and what you require; and in Dr. Jastrow you 
 can have confidence. He is an excellent doctor." 
 
 So I was to be by myself in that large flat with 
 Sophie who howled and two children who were ill; 
 and I was to nurse them both through scarlet fever, 
 and afterwards to keep them company while they 
 "peeled" perhaps get the fever myself. I looked 
 through the windows at the busy sunny streets and 
 reflected that Christmas would be coming before we 
 were all at large again. It seemed a lifetime since 
 yesterday morning when I had sat by the waters of 
 Griinbeck with Caspar and listened to his blandish- 
 ments. The realities of life confronted me now: sick- 
 ness, solitude again, responsibility and hard work. I 
 could not turn my back on them. 
 
 "Someone must nurse the children," I said. 
 
 "Certainly!" said Herr Plessen. "When children 
 are ill they must be nursed. It is as I say. Children 
 make much work. But if there were no children there 
 would be no men and women and if there were no 
 men and women . . ." 
 
 "Would it matter?" 
 
 "It is unthinkable. Besides, the children are 
 there." 
 
 "I suppose that if I did not nurse them you would 
 hire a trained nurse." 
 
 "But you have said that you would nurse them. 
 For what other purpose have you left that evil woman
 
 166 IRON COUSINS 
 
 and come with me? You will be quite comfortable. 
 Sophie will assist you and cook for you. I shall pro- 
 vide you with money for housekeeping. Dr. Jastrow 
 will give you exact instructions about everything. He 
 is coming again at five to see you." 
 
 By that time we were at the house and getting out 
 of the taxi. The thought of Trudi and Arthur locked 
 into a room when they were ill and feverish winged 
 my feet and without further argument I hurried up- 
 stairs to them. When they saw me they both opened 
 their heavy eyes and in a voice of deep contentment 
 said "Sallee!" 
 
 "Sallee is here." 
 
 "My throat hurts me," said Trudi. 
 
 "My head aches frightfully," said Arthur. 
 
 "We are thirsty and there is nothing to drink." 
 
 "The sun is in our eyes and our eyes are hot and 
 painful." 
 
 "I should like some Cologne water." 
 
 "I want my new knife." 
 
 "Aber Kinder!" said the father who stood well out- 
 side the door. "Let Miss Danvers take off her hat 
 and arrange herself. Afterwards she will attend to 
 you." 
 
 I was glad I had come when I saw how much I was 
 wanted and could do. The doctor was efficient and 
 pedantic, but he did not seem to care about the chil- 
 dren's comfort or want to relieve their pains and 
 aches except by the way as symptoms of the disease 
 that must be combated. When he examined them he 
 was rough, and if they shrank from him he was im- 
 patient. We dreaded his daily visit. As for Sophie
 
 IRON COUSINS 167 
 
 she ceased to howl soon after I arrived, but she 
 stolidly refused to enter the children's room. 
 
 "Illnesses are for rich people," she said. "I am a 
 poor girl and have my living to earn." 
 
 "But you say you have had scarlet." 
 
 "One can have a bad thing twice over. It is good 
 fortune that does not repeat itself. Let those who 
 can pay doctors and chemists have illnesses." 
 
 "But you have your insurance and Herr Pies- 
 sen . . ." 
 
 "I have not run away like that Marie. No one 
 can say that I have run away. I hope it will be 
 remembered at Christmas. But Herrschaften have 
 short memories. What the likes of us do for them 
 is never enough, but what they do for us ... doss Gott 
 erbarm. One must battle through life as best one 
 can. Illnesses I do not want. A mothei should nurse 
 her children and not expect strangers to do it. A 
 raven mother I call one who stays away from her 
 children when they are ill." 
 
 "It is a question of arithmetic," I said. "Better 
 two people with scarlet than five." 
 
 "Motherly love is not a question of arithmetic,'* 
 said Sophie stoutly. 
 
 "Of reasoning then." 
 
 "When one loves one does not reason. A child 
 knows that." 
 
 I had occasion to remember this dictum a few days 
 later when Sophie was out on some errand and I had 
 to answer the door. There, his hands full of parcels, 
 stood Caspar, and before I could stop him he had shut 
 the door, put down the parcels and nearly had me in
 
 168 IRON COUSINS 
 
 his arms. I was just too quick for him I am glad 
 to say. 
 
 "Stop that!" I said angrily in English. "I won't 
 have it." 
 
 "How can you be so cruel? I thought you would 
 be glad to see me. Is it amusing then to be shut up 
 week after week with two sick children? Till Christ- 
 mas you will be a prisoner here my uncle says. He 
 is still with us and every day he brings us news of 
 you. Miss Danvers is a pr'dchtige Person he says 
 . . . quite a splendid young person . . . not only 
 does she nurse the children day and night but she 
 amuses them and makes them happy. Never have I 
 seen children so happy. But how is Miss Danvers, I 
 ask, and get no answer. My uncle only sees his chil- 
 dren when he comes here. If he were not blind he 
 would see that you were pale and heavy-eyed. You 
 are doing too much." 
 
 "Come again when we've all had a good night," 
 I said. "I'm tired this afternoon." 
 
 He had walked into the dining-room and I had 
 followed him. We stood just within the door and 
 now he shut it. 
 
 "You are glad to see me then?" he asked. 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 "But you invite me to come again. Perhaps you 
 have missed me as I have missed you, my little love." 
 
 He was determined and I was not. He knew 
 exactly what he wanted and I did not. He looked 
 as fresh as paint and I was so weary that all my 
 senses were asleep and my very thoughts quiescent. 
 Still my memory served me, and his endearments 
 roused it.
 
 IRON COUSINS 169 
 
 "You run risks in coming here/'I told him. "You 
 don't want to have scarlet fever . . ." 
 
 "What about you?" 
 
 "I'm at my post . . . like a soldier." 
 
 "Have you had the fever?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 "Then you may get it." 
 
 "Possibly." 
 
 He walked to the end of the long room and walked 
 back again to where I stood. He was evidently put 
 out and puzzled what to do or say next. 
 
 "You may have caught it already," occurred to him 
 after a time. 
 
 "It may be incubating," I agreed. "You had better 
 keep away." 
 
 "I've had it," he said, "when I was a child." 
 
 "Your uncle has had it, but he does not come very 
 near us." 
 
 "He is timid. Besides ... he has not the same 
 incentive." 
 
 That waked me up. 
 
 "The very birds of the air will give their lives for 
 their young," I cried, and I reminded him of Mark 
 Twain's story of the mother stork who seeing her 
 nest on fire flew down to cover her nestlings with her 
 wings and was consumed with them. 
 
 "It was not practical," he said. "If the stork had 
 lived she could have hatched out new storks." 
 
 "I would rather be heroic than practical," I told 
 him. 
 
 He looked at me oddly. 
 
 "You are not afraid of infection, but you are afraid 
 of what people will say," he informed me.
 
 i;o IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I, afraid! Surely it was you at Griinbeck who 
 could not face the music." 
 
 He walked up and down the room again. 
 
 "You don't understand," he said. "I'm dependent 
 on my father. Instead of making me partner he could 
 turn me out of the business if I displeased him." 
 
 "Then don't displease him." 
 
 "It would be foolish in the highest degree. In fact 
 it would spell ruin." 
 
 "I think I hear the children," I said, opening the 
 door. "I must go." 
 
 "When can I see you? When will Sophie be out 
 again?" 
 
 "I don't know." 
 
 "She will probably go out on Sunday." 
 
 I would not tell him. I slipped into the hall and was 
 on the way to the children's room when he came after 
 me with his parcels. 
 
 "Give them to Arthur and Trudi with my greet- 
 ings," he said. "Tell them to get well quickly. On 
 the hall table there is something for you." 
 
 With that he was gone before I could either thank 
 him for what he had brought the children or inform 
 him that I would not accept his presents. But as he 
 fled he stole a kiss so quickly and so unexpectedly that 
 I found nothing to say.
 
 XXIII 
 
 HOW much easier it would be to write about 
 people if they were either bad or good and 
 not the usual blend. To this day I have a 
 soft spot in my heart for Caspar. I may write him 
 down a bad hat, or, as Aunt Susan would have said, 
 "a young man without any principles, my dear," but I 
 remember him debonair, in love with me, full of 
 energy and good spirits and, unlike most Germans, 
 generous. His little cousins adored him and the pic- 
 ture books he had sent them hardly consoled them 
 for his omission to pay them a bedside visit. The 
 doctor would not allow it, I explained. 
 
 "I have heard Caspar call Dr. Jastrow an old don- 
 key," said Arthur. "One does not obey the orders 
 of old donkeys." 
 
 "We do," I reminded them and administered their 
 medicine. 
 
 "What did Caspar bring for you ?" said Trudi. 
 
 I pretended not to hear and put away the medicine. 
 
 "When he went away he spoke loudly," said Arthur. 
 "We heard him say there was something for you on 
 the hall table." 
 
 "Fetch it in here," said Trudi. 
 
 I sat down and looked at the little devils. They 
 
 could twist me round their fingers and knew it. They 
 
 were sitting up in bed and wore blue flannel jackets 
 
 over their nighties. Their hair was rumpled and their 
 
 171
 
 172 IRON COUSINS 
 
 blue eyes solemn. What one asked for the other in- 
 stantly wanted and in my own kingdom I reigned over 
 two conspirators. 
 
 "If we do not see what Caspar has brought you 
 we shall become excited," said Arthur, "and I heard 
 the old donkey say that we were not under any cir- 
 cumstances to be excited." 
 
 "You are not to call Dr. Jastrow an old donkey," I 
 said. 
 
 "We shall have fever if we become excited," said 
 Trudi. 
 
 "Then keep calm," I advised them. 
 
 "We cannot be calm until we know what Caspar 
 has brought you. Suppose it was chocolate?" 
 
 "Suppose it was?" 
 
 "One shares chocolate with one's friends." 
 
 "I have a frightful yearning for chocolate," said 
 Arthur. 
 
 "I too!" sighed Trudi and gazed at me reproach- 
 fully. 
 
 "It may not be chocolate. It is probably a book 
 that neither of you would understand." 
 
 "But one looks at a present. At least one looks," 
 urged Arthur. 
 
 "Not to look is direct ungrateful," said Trudi. 
 
 "I'll get it," said Arthur, and was out of bed like 
 a flash of lightning with me after him, but, alas, laugh- 
 ing too. "I'm afraid you are lacking in proper con- 
 trol of the children," wrote Aunt Susan. She was 
 not afraid of my letters, so I sent her long ones at 
 this time, written at night in the dining-room after 
 my patients were asleep. "Someone had brought me 
 a box of chocolate," I told her, and she, being a 
 shrewd woman, asked who the someone was. "A
 
 IRON COUSINS 173 
 
 cousin of the children's," I answered, and blessed my 
 native tongue, for its indifference to genders. In Ger- 
 man you cannot mention a cousin without mentioning 
 a he or a she. I was telling Aunt Susan everything 
 about my life in Hamburg except the one and only 
 thing that tangled it. Even if there had been no 
 tangle but a smooth every-day courtship I could not 
 have written about Caspar, while it hung fire. I 
 might have spoken to Isabella if she had been in reach 
 but never to Aunt Susan. We were shy with each 
 other as different generations often are. Besides I 
 knew she would not like the idea of my marrying a 
 German and living in Germany, so why put it into 
 her head when it might never come to pass. 
 
 The special providence that invariably sends people 
 where they are least wanted sent Herr Plessen to ask 
 after his children at the very moment when one of 
 them was in the hall struggling with me for the pos- 
 session of a large package wrapped in a smart floral 
 paper and tied with silver string. 
 
 "Chocolates!" yelled Arthur, and while I scolded 
 and Trudi screamed to us to be quick the key turned 
 quickly in the latch and the head of the house ap- 
 peared. 
 
 "What is up ?" he asked and as I turned to meet him 
 Arthur, hugging my box of chocolates, tore back 
 to bed. 
 
 "Arthur is feeling much better to-day," I began. 
 
 "So it seems," said Herr Plessen, "but had he your 
 permission to be out of bed and in this cold passage?" 
 
 "See, Father !" cried Trudi from the bedroom. "See 
 what Caspar has brought to-day. Books for us and 
 an enormous box of chocolates for Sallee." 
 
 Herr Plessen saw. He never went inside the chil-
 
 174 IRON COUSINS 
 
 dren's room, but every day he stood at the open door 
 for a few minutes and conversed with them. 
 
 "How is it you were in the hall and not in bed 
 when I arrived?" he said severely to Arthur. 
 
 "Sallee would not look at her present from Cas- 
 par," the boy said repeating himself. "When one 
 becomes a present at least one looks at it." 
 
 "In moderation chocolate is wholesome," said 
 Trudi. 
 
 "We will send messages to Caspar since we may not 
 write to him," said Arthur. 
 
 "Sallee can write to him," said Trudi. 
 
 "You had better send messages," I counseled. 
 
 Herr Plessen had looked at the children and the 
 chocolates and now he looked at me. 
 
 "Has my nephew been here before to-day?" he 
 asked. 
 
 "No!" I said. 
 
 "Greet Caspar from us," said the children, both 
 speaking at once. "Greet him lovingly and thank him 
 a thousand times for the books and the chocolate." 
 
 "But the chocolate is not meant for you at all," 
 said Herr Plessen. "Children who are ill in bed are 
 not allowed to eat bonbons." 
 
 "Consider the size of the box," said Trudi. "If 
 Sallee ate all those she would be sick." 
 
 "You have only to ask Caspar," said Arthur ju- 
 dicially. "He will tell you for whom he meant them." 
 
 Herr Plessen gave one of those little grunts that 
 meet an awkward situation more easily than the exact 
 phrase: he told Arthur that if he dared to leave his 
 bed without permission again he would be sent to a 
 hospital where no such pranks were allowed; and he
 
 IRON COUSINS 175 
 
 charged me not to let the children spoil their stomachs 
 with sweets and to exercise my authority if they were 
 troublesome. 
 
 "They are as good as gold," I said. 
 
 He gave his little grunt again, his eyes twinkling at 
 me as he shook hands and then he went away. I won- 
 dered whether he would say anything about the choco- 
 lates to his nephew, and what he would say. 
 
 I could not go out on Sunday because Sophie, who 
 worked like a black for us all the week, wanted her 
 half day of escape then and I had not the heart to 
 ask her to give it up or to exchange. On a Sunday 
 she met her Schatz, sat in a Bier-Halle or went to a 
 dancing hall with him and presumably came back 
 strengthened and refreshed for the week's labor. I 
 used to see her leave the house dressed to the nines 
 in a tartan skirt, a shiny black cloth coat and a saucy 
 fur cap that sat with a grotesque effect on her 
 weather-beaten face and skimpy hair. But she always 
 seemed satisfied with herself and with her prospects. 
 I have often wondered since what has become of her 
 and whether her Schatz is still alive. But she told me 
 once in her comfortable Mecklenburg voice that if he 
 failed her she could find someone to take his place 
 because she had saved enough to furnish a house hand- 
 somely; a home of two rooms and a kitchen, one of 
 the rooms being a "best" one with a plush suite, a 
 carpet in front of the sofa and a clock. Her ambi- 
 tions were clear and limited and she had nearly at- 
 tained them. I did not exactly envy her but I know 
 she pitied me. 
 
 "Fraulein is too pretty to be an old maid," she said. 
 "What a pity that she has no money. Without money
 
 176 IRON COUSINS 
 
 it is difficult for a girl to marry and in the better 
 classes so much is required: more than any girl can 
 earn for herself." 
 
 I never invited these comments on my personal 
 affairs or encouraged them ; but Sophie said what came 
 into her head and took silence for agreement. 
 
 "The children have told me that the young Herr 
 was here yesterday and brought you chocolates," she 
 said. "Such a butterfly." 
 
 "How can the children tell you anything when you 
 are afraid to go into their room?" I asked. 
 
 "While the Fraulein was out to-day we talked. I 
 set their door open and remained at the other end of 
 the passage. It was quite safe." 
 
 "To-day for dinner we can have mutton," I 
 observed. 
 
 "Such a butterfly. From one to the other he goes. 
 All Hamburg knows it. It is time he ranged him- 
 self." 
 
 "Mutton with potatoes. Irish stew. The children 
 like it." 
 
 "He goes with rich people and he will be rich him- 
 self. Such people look for money with their wives." 
 
 "Herr Heiling's marriage is not our concern, 
 Sophie. At the present moment I am thinking 
 strongly of pancakes. You make such heavenly pan- 
 cakes and with preserved cranberries ..." 
 
 Sophie nodded her head, pleased with my approval 
 of her cooking, but determined to strike her warning 
 note. 
 
 "Chocolates are not serious," she said. "You are 
 a foreigner here and in England it may be otherwise.
 
 IRON COUSINS 177 
 
 With us chocolates say nothing. A little attention 
 perhaps but nothing more." 
 
 "It is just the same in England," I assured her. "A 
 girl who allowed her head to be turned by chocolates 
 would prove that she had no head." 
 
 "But if you had no head it could not be turned," 
 argued Sophie stolidly. "Besides, I have yet to see 
 a human being without a head. Fraulein has only a 
 small one, but it is there and perhaps can be more 
 easily turned than a head of a larger size." 
 
 I wanted to tell her that my head, though small, 
 was screwed on the right way, but to say so in Ger- 
 man was still beyond me. Besides I really could not 
 discuss my matrimonial chances with Sophie, much 
 as I liked her and fashionable as it is to be demo- 
 cratic. You may make the same laws for rich and 
 poor, with a bias towards the poor ; but you will never 
 make the Aunt Susans and the Sophies of the world 
 talk the same talk or look at life from each other's 
 eyes. No doubt Sophie meant well towards me; but 
 the only thing that could have sanctioned intimate dis- 
 cussion between us would have been affection. We 
 were far from feeling that for one another although 
 we were on good terms. 
 
 "We have talked with Sophie," the children told me 
 directly I went in to them. "She opened our door 
 and then ran quickly to the end of the passage. She 
 is very frightful of scarlet. Next time Cousin Caspar 
 comes we will talk with him. You can bring him a 
 chair from the dining-room." 
 
 "Oh! Can I?" I said, but I thought it was a good 
 idea. If he came he should sit in full view of his 
 cousins and behave himself.
 
 xxiv 
 
 SUNDAY came, Sophie went out and I was left 
 alone with the children. It had turned bitterly 
 cold, there was talk of the Alster being frozen 
 and I had had the dining-room stove lighted so that I 
 could set the door open and warm the passage. Mod- 
 ern German houses have central heating and a con- 
 stant supply of hot water. I discovered that later on 
 when I went to see the Crefelds. But the house in 
 which the Plessens lived had been built by Herr Pies- 
 sen's grandfather after the great fire in 1842 and had 
 no latter-day improvements except electric lights. Herr 
 Plessen remembered stories his grandparents told of 
 the great fire and said that to the end of her life 
 his grandmother could not speak of it without shud- 
 dering; and he still used a quaint old toilet glass that 
 had been saved from her burning house. She herself 
 had been driven out of it by soldiers, for she had run 
 back at the risk of her life to get her canary. Arthur 
 and Trudi belonged to the fourth generation after the 
 fire, but they still talked of it and told tales of it much 
 as I suppose English children may have done in 1742 
 about the fire of 1666. They were full of talk, too, 
 about the skating on the Alster and the crowded life 
 on the ice when the steamboats could not run and you 
 took your walks on the water instead of on land. I 
 heard them having a heated discussion as to whether 
 you could say you walked on water when the water
 
 IRON COUSINS 179 
 
 was frozen, but I did not join in, because I was stok- 
 ing the dining-room stove and according to their sug- 
 gestion putting one or two chairs in the hall. 
 
 "Too clever by half" is a vulgar expression I dare 
 say, but how I should get on without vulgar expres- 
 sions I do not know. Aunt Susan did, so I suppose 
 I belong to a vulgar generation. I don't really think 
 so. I just say so to placate pedants. My real faith 
 is in any phrase that conveys my meaning vividly 
 whether it comes from Oxford or a darkie's cabin. 
 "Too clever by half" exactly describes my procedure 
 that Sunday afternoon when I knew Caspar would 
 arrive and made my preparations to receive him. I 
 could not keep him out, but I could set chairs and a 
 tea table in the passage in full view of the children 
 who watched and applauded me; but showed an em- 
 barrassing curiosity. 
 
 "Who then is coming, Sallee?" asked Trudi. 
 
 "Wait and see," I said. 
 
 "Perhaps it will be Caspar," said Arthur. "Sallee 
 has made herself beautiful." 
 
 "Don't talk nonsense, Arthur," I said from the pas- 
 sage. "Every Sunday, as you know, I wear this frock." 
 
 "She becomes red," said Trudi. "Have you ob- 
 served that, Arthur ? When one speaks of our cousin 
 Caspar, Sallee becomes red; as red as a rose. She 
 has a lovely color." 
 
 "I have always told you that Sallee was a beautiful 
 girl," said Arthur with a man of the world air. "I 
 regret that by the time I shall be old enough to marry 
 she will be too old for me." 
 
 "Children, I will not have this talk/' I said dash- 
 jng across the passage to their ropro.
 
 i8o IRON COUSINS 
 
 "What talk ?" said they with ingenuous surprise. 
 
 "Talk of marriage and getting red and such things. 
 You know I will not have it." 
 
 "I suppose that is what Tante Auguste means when 
 she says all English people are hypocrites," said 
 Arthur. "We Germans speak what is in our minds." 
 
 I could not very well speak my mind about Tante 
 Auguste, otherwise Fraulein Popper, just then, so I 
 fetched the tea things and put the kettle on a gas ring 
 in the freezing cold kitchen. One of my minor dis- 
 appointments had been the afternoon meal at the 
 Plessens, which was neither the delicious coffee and 
 cake described in books about Germany nor our own 
 comfortable afternoon tea. They usually had tea that 
 looked like toast water and tasted of straw; and a 
 peculiarly uneatable brand of cheap vanilla biscuits 
 which Tante Auguste had informed me (quite un- 
 necessarily) were made in Germany. 
 
 "We consider them equal to the best English bis- 
 cuits," she had added, and of course that silly little 
 Trudi had told her I did not like them. However, 
 to-day we had a fresh Kaffee kitchen baked as a sur- 
 prise for the children; for they were nearly well 
 again but not allowed up yet by Dr. Jastrow 
 and of course still with weeks of segregation before 
 them. They were in the highest spirits about it, 
 though, until the doctor had said that they might soon 
 do lessons again provided they used no books or burnt 
 those they used. That dashed them for a time but 
 not for long, because they agreed that lessons with me 
 were not lessons at all; a two-edged tribute that I 
 might take as I pleased. 
 
 We usually had tea at five, but it was hardly
 
 IRON COUSINS 181 
 
 half past four when the children caught sight of the 
 cake and said they both felt weak with hunger and 
 would like some at once. 
 
 "After the dinner you both ate you wouldn't be 
 weak with hunger if you waited till to-morrow morn- 
 ing," I said, and sat down for a moment on one of 
 the chairs near the front door. From there I could 
 see in a diagonal direction into the children's room and 
 we could talk to each other without raising our voices 
 as much as they were used to do at all times. 
 
 "Dr. Jastrow told you that it was important to keep 
 up our strength," said Arthur. 
 
 Before I could answer, the door-bell rang so sud- 
 denly and shrilly that I jumped. The children jumped 
 too, with mischief and excitement. 
 
 "Caspar! Caspar!" they shouted as I opened the 
 door and they craned forward in their beds to see him. 
 
 I now want a fine poetical simile to describe the 
 moment of dead silence that ensued when, instead of 
 Caspar, we saw Miss Campbell on the door mat. I'm 
 half afraid that the silence was first broken by Arthur 
 saying Pfui in a whisper to Trudi ; but I hope Miss 
 Campbell did not hear him. She wore a cheap look- 
 ing fur coat which she told me later was worth a for- 
 tune and had belonged to a Russian princess who had 
 sold it to her for a tenth of its value; and the nip- 
 ping cold, in spite of her furs, had seized on her 
 prominent nose and turned it to a crimson that went 
 deeper and deeper still in the warm air of the hall. 
 It is an affliction to have a large nose that behaves like 
 that and I felt sorry for her. But I believe I wasted 
 my pity. Her manner was as arrogant as ever as she 
 stood outside, and when I told her about the scarlet
 
 182 IRON COUSINS 
 
 fever she came into the passage and said she was not 
 afraid of it because she had had it herself and so had 
 Gisela. She inquired closely into our doctor's treat- 
 ment and mode of disinfection, disapproved of both 
 and peering at the children through her glasses and 
 her veil said that they had probably not had scarlet 
 fever at all. Since she was not afraid I asked her 
 to have tea with us, and she said that she had come 
 with that intention, as she thought I must be thirsting 
 for a little intercourse with a reasonable grown-up 
 person. She had heard of my incarceration and pitied 
 me from the bottom of her heart. The constant com- 
 panionship of children was both tedious and wearing. 
 She did not lower her high-pitched voice to say all 
 this and the children knew enough English by this time 
 to follow it with rising indignation. 
 
 "Sallee has it good by us," sang out Arthur in his 
 queer jargon. "All night we sleep, and all day we play 
 together." 
 
 "Why do you come here and hetz Sallee?" asked 
 Trudi, her eyes, as I could see, threatening tears. 
 
 "We also have it good," said Arthur. "We choose 
 our own dinners and Sophie cooks them." 
 
 "And our cousin Caspar comes with books for us 
 and chocolates for Sallee," said Trudi. "You need 
 not have pity with Sallee. She likes me better than 
 Gisela; such a little Jewess." 
 
 "Trudi!" I cried and sprang to my feet, thinking 
 .to create a sudden diversion. I had seen Miss Camp- 
 bell prick up her ears at Caspar's name and before 
 the look of attention, chagrin and surprise had sub- 
 sided the door bell rang again. 
 
 "But you expect someone,?" .she .said, and her eye
 
 IRON COUSINS 183; 
 
 lighted on the tea tray, where I had put four cups 
 and four plates. I was saved from answering by hav- 
 ing to open the door. 
 
 "Well, children! how goes it?" said Caspar, walk- 
 ing in, as if he felt quite at home. But he checked 
 himself when he saw Miss Campbell and my tea- 
 table. 
 
 "You have visitors," he said, and allowed himself 
 to be presented. 
 
 I left them to make each other's acquaintance and 
 fled into the kitchen to brew the tea and get another 
 cup and plate. We had quite a cheery time after I 
 got back. I went to and fro between my guests and 
 my patients : the children chattered ; Sophie's cake was 
 heavily punished by five of us, all hungry; and Miss 
 Campbell found that Herr Heiling had spent a year in 
 Paris and knew the fashionable street in which her 
 married sister lived. He nearly knew the sister you 
 might say, for he had been to a party on the etage below 
 where a baron and baroness lived with whom the 
 Wolffs were on speaking terms. She observed that 
 the world was a small one and that she was only in 
 Hamburg herself because she had an original and in- 
 dependent mind that likes to leave the beaten track. 
 Caspar turned his eyes discreetly from her nose which 
 the warmth of the flat and a full meal affected dis- 
 tressingly and presently got up. He leaned against 
 the door of the children's room and had a merry 
 argument with them about Max and Moritz. I knew 
 from the way he stood and the way he glanced impa- 
 tiently at us once or twice that he meant to outstay 
 Miss Campbell. But she was equally determined and 
 either dense or designedly disobliging. Perhaps it did
 
 184 IRON COUSINS 
 
 not accord with her ideas of propriety to leave him 
 behind with me. Perhaps she thought she had im- 
 pressed him and that he would accord her his atten- 
 tion again. At any rate she stayed, and stayed. Stayed 
 like bad luck. The darkness had come long since and 
 the lights we needed were turned on. She helped me 
 to draw curtains. She helped me to carry away the 
 tea-things. She stayed by me while I washed them, 
 but expressed her surprise that I should demean my- 
 self by doing a servant's work. 
 
 "Sophie would have more respect for you if she 
 found them unwashed," she assured me. "When 
 Gisela was ill I would not even wash her medicine 
 glass. I told Frau Crefeld when I went there that I 
 must be waited on hand and foot as I had been accus- 
 tomed. Otherwise ..." 
 
 Her voice was shrill with exhortation. How I 
 wished she would go and how little I liked her. 
 
 "I shall soon come and see you again," she said, 
 keeping close to me as we returned to the hall ; so close 
 that her face nearly touched mine and more than once 
 I had to draw back from it. "When am I likely to 
 find you alone?" 
 
 "I'm never alone now that the children are ill," I 
 said. 
 
 "The children do not matter. We can shut their 
 door for an hour if we want a little quiet." 
 
 "You don't know the children ..." 
 
 "Oh ! of course I can see how you spoil them. You 
 have allowed yourself to be their slave. That is be- 
 cause you are so inexperienced. I should like to give 
 you my ideas. I am always ready to help persons who
 
 IRON COUSINS 185 
 
 seem rather young and helpless. Does Herr Heiling 
 come every day?" 
 
 "Certainly not. Herr Plessen comes but he does not 
 stay long." 
 
 At that moment Herr Heiling marched past us look- 
 ing so thunderously angry that I felt embarrassed, for 
 I thought Miss Campbell must surely guess that her 
 prolonged visit was what had upset him. 
 
 "Good-night," he said to both of us inclusively and 
 he shuffled into his fur-lined coat and slammed the 
 door behind him. 
 
 "What a bear !" said Miss Campbell and sat down 
 again. 
 
 She stayed to supper.
 
 XXV 
 
 " TT F I had a nose like that I would not take it out 
 in snow air," said Arthur viciously. 
 
 "I also not," said Trudi. "She spoilt our 
 afternoon. Old witch !" 
 
 I pretended not to hear while I got the room ready 
 for the night, but when they proceeded to make fur- 
 ther remarks about Miss Campbell's nose and about 
 her general disagreeableness I had to talk to them 
 like a copy book. 
 
 "One must never criticise departing guests," I ex- 
 plained. 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 "It is impolite and unkind." 
 
 They answered that they were only impolite and un- 
 kind to people who deserved it and they pointed out 
 that they both behaved like little angels to me. They 
 said that cousin Caspar agreed with them about Miss 
 Campbell and had spoken of her as a Teufelsweib 
 when she was in the kitchen and could not hear them ; 
 and he had asked them what time they settled down 
 for the night, whether I stayed up later than they did 
 and at what time Sophie came back to the flat. 
 
 So I was not surprised to hear the bell again about 
 
 half past nine and to see Caspar when I opened the 
 
 door. The children were fast asleep ; Sophie had a 
 
 key with her and might not be back till midnight; I 
 
 186
 
 IRON COUSINS 187 
 
 was established in the dining-room with "Egmont" 
 and a dictionary. It was warm and quiet in there that 
 night. I had drawn an easy chair near the stove and 
 when Caspar followed me in he pulled one forward 
 for himself. 
 
 "Very comfortable," he said as he sat down. 
 
 "Why have you come again?" I asked. 
 
 "You expected me?" 
 
 "More or less ; from what the children said." 
 
 "Are you glad to see me ?" 
 
 I was rather, though I knew that I ought not to be. 
 I was angry with myself for finding that my self- 
 respect was still at loggerheads with my senses and 
 that in his presence I still felt his charm. I knew he 
 was behaving badly and yet I had not whistled him to 
 the winds as completely as I should have done. That 
 was before me and I meant beyond all doubt to do it; 
 but I hardly expected to find it easy. 
 
 "Suppose the children waked?" I said. "Or sup- 
 pose your uncle called and found you here ? Or sup- 
 pose Sophie came back earlier than usual ?" 
 
 "They need not know that I have been here more 
 than five minutes." 
 
 "The children got hold of those chocolates and told 
 their father about them." 
 
 He looked quite taken aback and annoyed. 
 
 "He has said nothing. My uncle is a sly fox. Not 
 a word has he said. But why were you not more 
 careful? Why did you allow it?" 
 
 "I am not going to be careful. If you bring things 
 to me they will remain on the hall table for anyone 
 to see." 
 
 "But why such nonsense?"
 
 i&8 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I will not accept things from you." 
 
 "Then you are irreconciliable ?" 
 
 "Quite." 
 
 He pulled his mustache and stared at me. I tried 
 to gather myself together and have it out with him. 
 
 "What is it that you want?" he said. 
 
 "I've just told you. Nothing. Nothing at all." 
 
 "I'm not talking of chocolates," he said impatiently. 
 "Don't you understand ?" 
 
 "I believe I do," I said. "I am not a child." 
 
 He seized at that. 
 
 "It is what I say. You are not a child. You are 
 independent. You can please yourself." 
 
 "I can." 
 
 "Then . . . Sallee." 
 
 I put out both my hands to keep him off. I was 
 not afraid. I was not even as angry as I should be 
 to-day when I am a woman. I was more of a child 
 than I knew at the time, but I tried to behave in a 
 grown-up way. 
 
 "Let us talk plain English," I said. "What are 
 you offering me?" 
 
 "Love. The most passionate love." 
 
 I looked at him pensively. 
 
 "You are making a mistake," I said. "I should 
 have thought a man of the world like you would have 
 known better." 
 
 He began to bristle at once. I knew he would. 
 
 "I suppose it is because I am a foreigner," I con- 
 tinued. "It is difficult, I know, to appreciate social 
 differences in foreigners." 
 
 His face darkened and he muttered some long Ger- 
 man swear word under his breath ; one of those com-
 
 IRON COUSINS 189 
 
 pound ones that stretch across the page when written 
 and look something like this: 
 
 Schockschwererbrettpotztausendhimmclsacrament. 
 
 "I made a mistake too," I hastened to say. "These 
 international relations present difficulties ..." 
 
 He lost his temper completely at that and as the 
 dining-room table was near us he emphasized what he 
 said on it with his fist. 
 
 "I'm not a man a woman can play with," he told 
 me. "I know more than you think. I have English 
 relations in Manchester. They have told me what 
 your girls are like . . . how they lead men on ... 
 what their virtue is worth . . . yes worth ... in 
 bare money." 
 
 Then I got angry, too. It was an undignified scene 
 and I wish I could paint it in pleasanter colors. I 
 got so angry that I could not speak for a moment and 
 glared at him silently. 
 
 "Ach!" he said, recovering before I did. "Why 
 do we always quarrel? Probably the Papendorffs 
 lie . . ." 
 
 "I have no doubt of it," he said. "But I have been 
 in England myself. I lived in a boarding-house in 
 Kensington ; a high-class one as you say." 
 
 "I don't say it; but never mind. Go on. What 
 happened in your high-class boarding-house?" 
 
 "There were young ladies there . . . ach! such 
 amiable young ladies. But I was on my guard. JL 
 had no wish to figure in your breach of promise court. 
 I took care." 
 
 "Very sensible of you." 
 
 "But I was never over head and ears in love with 
 any of them as I am with you. If it were not for
 
 190 IRON COUSINS 
 
 my parents, if I were really independent, I would 
 make you an offer of marriage . . . Sallee." 
 
 "You would?" 
 
 "On my honor I would. But after all to a free 
 adventurous spirit like yours, what is marriage?" 
 
 I looked at him mockingly. He was putting his foot 
 into it and he seemed to think that he was coaxing 
 me round. He came a little nearer and would have 
 fiddled with one of my hands if I had let him, but I 
 drew back. 
 
 "A civil contract. Some words mumbled by a priest. 
 Why should the want of such things separate us?" 
 
 "Somehow they do," I said. 
 
 "With me they have no weight at all. I should look 
 on you as my wife." 
 
 "For how long?" 
 
 "Ach! what has love to do with time? Perhaps 
 as long as we live. I am offering you a serious posi- 
 tion, Sallee. I know you are not a girl who would 
 accept anything else, though I assure you that both in 
 England and Germany there are thousands of girls 
 who have quite other ideas. The old boundaries have 
 gone. Women are freeing themselves." 
 
 "Freedom isn't license," I said. 
 
 He struck at my open book lying near him on the 
 table. 
 
 "You read 'Egmont,' " he cried. "How can you 
 read 'Egmont' and talk like a prude? If you loved me 
 as Clarchen loved ..." 
 
 "Are you proposing that you and I should play 
 the parts of Egmont and Clarchen?" 
 
 "It would end differently. I shall not be be-
 
 IRON COUSINS 191 
 
 headed. You will not die. In these days Clarchen is 
 as happy and prosperous as anyone else." 
 
 "Is she?" 
 
 "I give you my word. I can tell you of cases . . . 
 I know cases . . . amongst my friends ..." 
 
 "I have never heard of a single case amongst mine. 
 It is impossible. It could not happen. If it did it 
 would be a tragedy." 
 
 "Nevertheless if you loved me enough . . ." 
 
 "But I don't," I said boldly. "I've discovered 
 that." 
 
 "What have you discovered?" 
 
 "That I don't love you enough. You offer me, as 
 I understand you, ruin and disgrace ..." 
 
 "Ach! Words!" 
 
 "No. Realities. I see them plainly ; so plainly that 
 I can see nothing else. So I'm not tempted. I'm not 
 even grateful. On the contrary, I'm so angry that as 
 you may hear it is affecting my voice . . .oh! Go 
 ... go ... before ..." 
 
 I had begun to speak calmly and judicially and 
 when I began I expected to end on the same note. The 
 way in which I was suddenly overwhelmed by wrath 
 and agitation was a complete and humiliating surprise 
 to me. I got up, meaning to leave the room and let 
 him find his way out alone ; but he stood between me 
 and the door and if I was white with anger he was 
 white too, and dangerous. 
 
 "You have made a fool of me," he cried. "I won't 
 endure it." 
 
 Luckily I'm fleet-footed but so was he. For a 
 moment I knew what it was to feel afraid, but I was 
 more angry than afraid even when he came towards
 
 192 IRON COUSINS 
 
 me with his cat-like sideways gait, quickly and quietly. 
 I hated the indignity of it and the absurdity, but I 
 twisted my shoulder from his grasp before he had 
 tone to strengthen it and fled round the dining-room 
 table with him after me. As I escaped through the 
 door I banged it and he was so near that it banged 
 on his hand instead of shutting properly. He gave a 
 scream of pain, but I ran on into the children's room 
 and locked myself in. Then I stood still and listened. 
 
 "Sallee!" he said a moment later. "Come out and 
 talk to me." 
 
 "No!" I said. 
 
 "You've hurt my hand. I want you to bind it up." 
 
 "Get it done at the ambulance station." 
 
 "I want to reason with you." 
 
 "You'll wake the children in a moment." 
 
 "If I go now I go for good." 
 
 "I'm glad to hear it." 
 
 I heard swear words again and no sound yet of 
 departing feet. 
 
 "I can't talk to you through a wooden door," he 
 said pettishly. 
 
 "There is nothing more to say." 
 
 "ItisArac&then?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 It was with relief first and dismay next that I heard 
 the front doorbell ring again. I could think of no 
 one but Sophie who, having forgotten her key, was 
 returning earlier than usual so that I should let her 
 in. But it was not Sophie. As I stood close to the 
 door listening to every sound I heard Miss Campbell's 
 high-pitched voice although I had not heard Caspar 
 admit her. I knew directly what had happened be-
 
 IRON COUSINS 193 
 
 cause it had happened before. When he arrived he 
 had shut the door very softly so as not to rouse the 
 children and the hasp had not held. She had just 
 walked in and found Caspar at my keyhole. 
 
 Schockschwererbrcttpotztausendhimmelsacrament. 
 
 "Herr Heiling!" I heard her exclaim. "You here! 
 I must apologize for returning at this late hour, but 
 I think I left a glove . . . ach! there it is ... a 
 thousand thanks . . . but where is Miss Danvers?" 
 
 "I have not seen her," he said promptly. "I came 
 as you did . . . because I had left something behind." 
 
 "But how did you get in, if one may ask?" 
 
 "As you did. I found the door open." 
 
 "But there are lights in the dining-room and it 
 looks . . . really it looks . . . as if the children had 
 been having a charivari . . . what a Wilthschaft! 
 Perhaps I had better see if Miss Danvers is in her 
 room." 
 
 To save her further trouble I opened the door.
 
 XXVI 
 
 ArNT SUSAN had once told me that a celebrated 
 scholar, who was also a man of the world, 
 had laid it down as a rule of life never to 
 explain and never to apologize. Anyone like me, in- 
 clined by nature to be garrulous and easily confused, 
 can only remember such advice as a counsel of per- 
 fection and perhaps strive after it in the hour of 
 need. I did so as I stood at my open bedroom door 
 with the light turned on and the two children drowsily 
 awake behind me. I said nothing. 
 
 "But here is Miss Danvers," cried Miss Campbell. 
 "I thought you must be up still as all the lights are 
 on. Did you know that the door of the flat was 
 open?" 
 
 "No," I said. 
 
 "I let myself in, and Herr Heiling says that he let 
 himself in the moment before. Very strange!" 
 
 "Did you want to see me?" 
 
 "I left a glove here. I came back for it and saw 
 it at once on a chair. I am very glad I came back. 
 Herr Heiling says that he also has forgotten some- 
 thing." 
 
 I looked at Herr Heiling and hoped my appearance 
 was more composed than his. You could see that he 
 was saying Teufclsweib to himself and that he felt 
 furiously annoyed and disappointed. He was very 
 pale. He bit his lips while she was speaking and when 
 194
 
 IRON COUSINS 195 
 
 she alluded to him he lost his temper completely and 
 his head, too. 
 
 "You have come back to spy on us," he said, and 
 delivered me as well as himself into her hands. She 
 looked down her nose at the glove she was putting 
 on, shrugged her shoulders and smiled disagreeably. 
 
 "One could not guess that Miss Danvers received 
 visitors at this time of night," she said. "When I 
 left her I went to see a friend who lives close by and 
 as I missed my glove I thought I would come back 
 for it." 
 
 "I tell you I had not seen Miss Danvers when you 
 arrived," protested Herr Heiling, and looked to me 
 for confirmation. But I did not give it. 
 
 "Strange!" murmured Miss Campbell again. "As 
 I came up the stairs I heard sounds . . ." 
 
 No doubt she had heard sounds. She had heard 
 me run into my room and slam the door, and before 
 that she had probably heard Herr Heiling call out 
 when he hurt his hand and then appeal to me to bind 
 it up. He was still nursing one hand with other as 
 if it pained him. 
 
 "I will not disturb you any longer," said Miss 
 Campbell. "Good-by, Miss Danvers. Perhaps I need 
 hardly say that in future . . ." 
 
 She did not finish, but disappeared as suddenly as 
 she had arrived. I have often thought since that per- 
 haps I ought to have made her stay behind while I dis- 
 missed Caspar and told him in her presence not to 
 come again till his aunt was back. But I am not sure. 
 I was not inclined to defend myself to her for my 
 conduct was not her business and I should probably 
 not have convinced her.
 
 196 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Now we are in the soup," said Caspar when she 
 was out of sight and hearing. "She will cackle to 
 all Hamburg." 
 
 "What will she cackle about?" said Arthur behind 
 me, for both children were wide awake now and taking 
 an intelligent interest in our proceedings. 
 
 "It is time to go. Good-night," I said to Caspar. 
 
 "But Sallee . . . what is to be done ? I must speak 
 to you. Come into the dining-room again just for 
 a minute, and if the children will be good to-morrow 
 they shall have the biggest box of chocolates . . ." 
 
 "Ach go, Sallee ! Quickly go," they cried in unison. 
 
 I did not go into the dining-room, but I went a 
 little farther along the passage so that I could speak 
 in a low voice without being overheard by the children. 
 
 "I have nothing more to say," I told him. "Good- 
 night." 
 
 "But Sallee, you are such a child . . . you don't 
 realize . . . that woman's tongue can do you harm." 
 
 "That disturbs you." 
 
 "Of course it disturbs me. I wish you well." 
 
 "You think I'm going to be done to death by 
 slanderous tongues." 
 
 "Not done to death, -but vexed . . . perhaps dis- 
 graced." 
 
 "As long as I don't disgrace myself ..." I began, 
 and in the dead silence that ensued he, at last, had 
 the grace to go. 
 
 I did not see him again for a long time nor did I 
 hear from him. He sent the chocolates to the children 
 next day and they wanted me to write and thank him. 
 But I let them give Herr Plessen a message instead. 
 I did not see Miss Campbell again either, and I was
 
 IRON COUSINS 197 
 
 not asked to the Crefelds; but I could not tell yet 
 whether they ignored me because I was in quarantine 
 or because Miss Campbell had made mischief. When 
 the time of our segregation was nearly at an end 
 Herr Plessen came in one day to arrange about the 
 children's room being painted and papered and their 
 bedding thoroughly disinfected. While this was done 
 we were to use the Fremdenzimmer, and he said he 
 hoped we were all quite safe because his wife was 
 bringing a niece with her who would occupy it after us. 
 
 "Comes Elsa to Hamburg?" cried Trudi, and looked 
 as pleased as Punch when her father said that Elsa 
 was coming and would probably spend the winter and 
 spring with them. 
 
 "Who is Elsa?" I asked the children when their 
 father had gone. 
 
 "She is our cousin," said Trudi. 
 
 "A child?" 
 
 "No, no. Elsa is old . . . perhaps as old as you." 
 
 "I know Elsa's age," said Arthur. "Last year when 
 we were at Eutin she celebrated her eighteenth birth- 
 day." 
 
 "She is very pretty," said Trudi. 
 
 "But not as pretty as Sallee," said Arthur. 
 
 "That," said Trudi, "is a matter of taste. Elsa has 
 more color and her cheeks are rounder." 
 
 "They are too round. They are like apples. Cheeks 
 should not be like apples." 
 
 "Apples are pretty," argued Arudi. "Besides Elsa's 
 hair shines like gold." 
 
 "I find her langweilig," said Arthur stoutly. "Sallee 
 is never langweilig." 
 
 I gathered that Elsa Mieding was an only child and
 
 198 IRON COUSINS 
 
 an orphan who had been brought up by her grand- 
 mother in the country. I wondered what she would 
 be like for what the children said about her told me 
 something, but not much. However, Christmas was 
 nearly on us before she came. I had had a busy time 
 getting the flat ready and wrestling with an incom- 
 petent maid engaged by Herr Plessen in Marie's 
 place. Then Oscar, who had been staying with friends 
 near his school since the holidays, came back to us 
 and behaved, as Trudi said, like a fox in a hen-yard. 
 He had become rough and unruly and had forgotten 
 all the English I had taught him. He said it was 
 unnecessary for any German to learn English because 
 Germans were shortly going to conquer the world 
 and that everyone would then have to speak German. 
 Also he was a boy and considered it beneath his dignity 
 to take orders from a woman. I let him feel the 
 rough edge of my tongue and sent him quietly to 
 Coventry till he came round, and he very soon did. 
 He knew that his father and mother would support 
 me if I appealed to them, but of course I was not 
 going to do that if I could help it. I think he was 
 impressed when he found I told no tales. The three 
 children all told tales of each other and were puzzled 
 and surprised when I would not listen to them. It 
 was Oscar who over-wound my watch one day and 
 broke the mainspring, but it was Trudi who told me 
 of it and Arthur who told his father. I could not 
 break them of the habit though I tried. 
 
 "Oscar did spoil your watch," said Trudi. "I saw 
 it in his hand ... so wicked has he become." 
 
 "He should have owned up himself," I explained. 
 
 "Not such a fool," growled Oscar, who felt sore
 
 IRON COUSINS 199 
 
 in spirit and in body for his father had chastised him 
 with thoroughness and taken his pocket money to have 
 the watch repaired. "You would have done as Arthur 
 did and you I cannot beat. But next time I get Arthur 
 alone . . ." 
 
 "In that case I shall tell Papa again," said Arthur. 
 
 I was glad when Frau Plessen came back, bearing 
 the reins of authority in her capable hands and seeing 
 even as she entered the door what was wrong in the 
 passage. Behind her came Elsa Mieding and then 
 Herr Plessen and the boys who had gone to the station 
 to meet the travelers. While I shook hands with 
 Frau Plessen I had a swift first impression of her 
 niece who had golden hair and cheeks like apples. I 
 had made a picture to myself of a slender simple 
 creature, a fairy-like figure, lovely to look at, rather 
 silent perhaps, adorable. So I was disappointed. The 
 golden hair and the rosy cheeks were well enough, 
 but they went with one of those unfortunate figures 
 so common in Germany : a figure that contrives to 
 be both thick and angular, narrow in the chest, high- 
 shouldered, large boned and broad across the hips. 
 She resembled her aunt in build and had the same wide 
 mouth and handsome teeth that showed too much gum 
 when she talked and smiled. And before I knew her 
 five minutes I knew that she was going to talk and 
 smile a great deal. She stared hard at me when I was 
 presented to her but after that ignored me while she 
 made much of the children and said it was heavenly 
 to be in Hamburg again. She decided that Arthur 
 and Trudi had grown while they were ill but looked 
 pale and thin, and she told them that she had longed 
 to come and nurse them but had not been allowed.
 
 200 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Sallee nursed us," said Trudi. 
 
 "In the day and in the night," said Arthur. 
 
 "Ach so!" said Fraulein Mieding when she had 
 asked who Sallee was and had me pointed out to her. 
 Meanwhile Frau Plessen had thanked me coolly but 
 sufficiently for doing my duty by the children and 
 presented me with a dozen linen handkerchiefs of the 
 largest size and nearly as thick as sheets. I felt 
 Elsa's eye on me as I received them and I noticed 
 that her own was fine and small. Altogether her 
 clothes looked as if she spent a good deal on them, 
 and I was not surprised when the children told me 
 that she had been at school in Berlin. No doubt she 
 did her shopping there, too. As we all sat at tea to- 
 gether in the dining-room she talked incessantly, in- 
 terlarding her remarks so often with Hebe Tante and 
 lieber Onkel that I wearied of this mode of address. 
 Her laugh was artificial and so was her manner, and 
 she was self-satisfied but not ill natured. She evidently 
 considered herself very modern. In fact, she said as 
 much. And she owned to having seen plays and read 
 books in Berlin that Frau Plessen said were not fit 
 for young girls. 
 
 "But they were highly interesting," said the young 
 lady. "Liebe Tante, you have such quaint ideas. I 
 suppose you think that when a young girl of to-day 
 reads or goes to the theater she wants something 
 pretty and pleasant." 
 
 "I hope so," said Frau Plessen. 
 
 "But, Hebe Tante, it is not so, I assure you. One 
 must face facts. The pretty and the pleasant I find 
 simply boring. I must shudder or I am not enter- 
 tained."
 
 IRON COUSINS 201 
 
 "Pfui!" said Frau Plessen, and looked at me. I 
 laughed. I could not help it. I had heard Isabella 
 David talk just like that in her salad days. 
 
 "If you please . . ." Elsa said to me, and her voice 
 was offended. But the children made some diversion 
 and I did not try to explain.
 
 XXVII 
 
 I'VE been beating about the bush I know. I've 
 told you about the scarlet fever and about the 
 children and chocolates and about the arrival of 
 Elsa Mieding, but I've not told you much about what 
 a girl like me feels like when the proposal of mar- 
 riage she has expected with a happy mind turns to 
 a proposal of dishonor. After all if I did tell you 
 it might not interest you. When I think back of it 
 I wonder that I stayed on with the Plessens. I sup- 
 pose I ought to have told Herr Heiling in burning 
 language what I thought of him and shaken the dust 
 of Hamburg off my feet. But the scarlet fever in- 
 tervened and at the time seeemed more important than 
 my outraged feelings. While I nursed the children 
 I tried to whistle Herr Heiling to the winds and I 
 wish I could say that I succeeded. But if you want 
 the truth and nothing but the truth I did not alto- 
 gether. I was never in any danger of listening to 
 him. Never for a moment. The idea seemed to me 
 ridiculous rather than alluring. I'm not the stuff 
 tragedy is made of, or perhaps I should say the cir- 
 cumstances of the case did not make tragedy inevitable. 
 If he had asked me to marry him I should have be- 
 come his wife. As he had ideas I could not entertain 
 we broke off relations suddenly and completely. But 
 you can't be ready to marry a man one day and 
 
 203
 
 IRON COUSINS 203 
 
 indifferent to him the next even if he has disappointed 
 you and made you furiously angry. My anger is 
 not the kind that strengthens with time. Without 
 fresh fuel it dies out unheroically. Besides, I had 
 various aspects of my adventure to consider and re- 
 member. There had been something between us that 
 was not a matter for offense: the gradual kindling 
 and discovery of love, the call that youth makes to 
 youth when it is attracted. I wondered why he did 
 not take his stand on his affection for me and tell 
 his parents like a man that he would have me and 
 no other. I would have faced their anger for his 
 sake ; but apparently he could not do it for mine. That 
 thought made me miserable enough when I allowed 
 myself to dwell on it. I don't suggest that I ate my 
 heart out all through the winter, but I admit that I 
 was restless and unhappy; and I discovered almost 
 immediately that Elsa Mieding's presence in the 
 family was not going to make me any happier. From 
 the first moment they met she set her cap at Caspar 
 evidently with the full approval of her uncle and 
 aunt. A child might have seen that she had been 
 brought to Hamburg to make a match of it and that 
 though she was willing he hung back. She talked to 
 him, she flattered him, she teased him, she tried to 
 have little quarrels with him and the more irresponsive 
 she found him the more she persevered. She was not 
 either clever or adaptable and I soon understood why, 
 in spite of her liveliness, Arthur called her langiveilig. 
 At the midday dinner when I mostly saw her I used 
 to long for her tongue to stop ; but it never did. Her 
 opinions on all subjects were cut and dried. She de- 
 livered them with an air of authority that would have 
 ruffled an archangel and in everything she said
 
 204 IRON COUSINS 
 
 of England she displayed the familiar German mixture 
 of ignorance and conceit. Her manner to me was 
 condescending but sufficiently amiable. She always 
 talked English to me and said she was glad of the 
 opportunity as she meant to go to England some day. 
 
 "On your wedding journey?" suggested her uncle 
 archly. 
 
 "No, lieber Onkcl, no. On my wedding journey I 
 shall go to Italy. That stands firm." 
 
 "Where will you go when you marry ?" said Trudi, 
 addressing Caspar. 
 
 "Probably to India," said Caspar. 
 
 Trudi's blue eyes opened to their fullest extent and 
 fixed themselves inquiringly on the two people opposite 
 her at table. 
 
 "When people marry do they not travel together?" 
 she asked. 
 
 "As a rule they do," said Caspar, and his eyes met 
 mine for a moment. I had once told him that I would 
 rather go to India than to any country in the world 
 because I wanted to see the place where my father 
 and mother had lived and where I had been born. Elsa 
 cut in with a little dissertation on British rule in 
 India as taught in German schools and said that she 
 would like to go very well if she could travel where 
 there were no English. I never took up the cudgels 
 for my country when she said anything provocative 
 because it did not seem worth while. But one day 
 I did find myself landed in a discussion over a per- 
 formance of "The Merchant of Venice" which she 
 said was superb and which I considered objectionable. 
 It was the first time I had been to the theater in 
 Hamburg. The Plessens went nearly every week, but 
 I had never been with them, and this time the place
 
 IRON COUSINS 205 
 
 was only offered to me because Herr Plessen said 
 at the last moment that his dinner had disagreed with 
 him and he wished to stay at home. 
 
 "Take Miss Danvers for once," he said to his wife. 
 "She will like to see a Shakespearean play in German." 
 
 "She will see something she has never seen before," 
 said Elsa, and turning to me she asked me if I had 
 ever read "The Merchant of Venice." I said I had 
 never read it in German, but she explained that she 
 did not mean that. The professor of Kulturgeschichte 
 in her school had told her that English people never 
 read Shakespeare and he had lived in England. I 
 said "Really!" and went to the theater with pictures 
 of Portia and Shylock in my mind that were derived 
 partly from the play itself and partly from photo- 
 graphs and descriptions of Ellen Terry and Irving. 
 At any rate it was a shock to find that the great lady 
 of Belmont giggled like a schoolgirl, sprawled on a 
 sofa and kicked up her heels. The Jew acted well 
 but without romance. He was a stout modern huck- 
 ster of the Ghetto, often twiddling his thumb and 
 fingers in the way Jews do in Germany when they 
 speak of money. I had seen Herr Plessen and Caspar 
 mimic it when they told anecdotes about Jews. The 
 Trial Scene was played without dignity or any at- 
 mosphere of tragedy. Portia trotted on to the stage 
 and made a Knix to the Duke and then a grimace to 
 the audience; while in the fifth act, when the moon- 
 light shines on Belmont, the lovers desecrated the poetry 
 on their lips by ogling and horseplay. When Portio 
 said "The moon sleeps with Endymion," she kicked 
 Lorenzo and winked at Nerissa. I felt inclined to 
 say "Pfui!" like Trudi, but I did not have to speak 
 at all as Elsa talked for everybody between the acts
 
 206 IRON COUSINS 
 
 and more than she should have done during them. 
 We had a box for four and were joined by Herr 
 Heiling. He sat in front and I sat behind with Frau 
 Plessen, but I could see both the stage and the house 
 very well and I soon discovered that the Crefelds sat 
 opposite us with Miss Campbell and Gisela. 
 
 "Absurd to bring a child of that age to the theater 
 at night," said Frau Plessen. "Echt jiidisch!" 
 
 In the crush as we went out I found myself close 
 to them and so I spoke to Frau Crefeld for the first 
 time since the Sunday I had spent at her house. She 
 answered me, but with her eyes turned away, while 
 Herr Crefeld did not see me at all, and Miss Campbell 
 hardly acknowledged my salutation. I drew myself 
 up and moved away from them, but I wished I had 
 not made any advances. Still, I could not know be- 
 forehand that they were going to behave uncivilly 
 and it was my first experience of the kind. I think 
 Frau Plessen must have noticed something for she 
 looked at me in an odd way when I joined her and 
 asked me if I had been invited to the Crefelds again. 
 I said I had not 
 
 "Perhaps they are still afraid of scarlet!" she sug- 
 gested. 
 
 I had half a mind to tell her what had happened, 
 but I could not do so just then ; and when I thought it 
 over I saw that a semi-confession would be beset with 
 difficulties. When we got home I thanked her for 
 taking me to the theater and said with truth that I 
 had enjoyed myself. I had very much. But next 
 day when Elsa went into rhapsodies about the art 
 and subtlety of the performance her uncle and aunt 
 were not present, but only Herr Heiling. They had 
 come into the dining-room where I was with the
 
 IRON COUSINS 207 
 
 children and remained there talking and laughing to- 
 gether. I did not join in at first; in fact, not till I 
 lost my temper because Elsa talked such nonsense. 
 I did not mind her saying that Shakespeare sounded 
 better in German than in English because Germans 
 always say that and probably he does to them. Let 
 them have him in German. But when she asked me 
 right out whether Fraulein So and So's rendering of 
 Portia was not soul shaking and superb I replied it 
 was not. 
 
 "Why not? What do you mean?" 
 
 "She giggled and kicked up her heels. She turned 
 the trial scene to farce. In the last act she behaved 
 like a barmaid." 
 
 "Perhaps the German conception of the play is 
 different from the English." 
 
 "Evidently." 
 
 She looked so naively surprised and offended that 
 I hastened to talk of something else because I knew 
 by this time how touchy most Germans are and, if 
 you want a quiet life, how necessary it is not to let them 
 fall foul of everything in your country and rhapsodize 
 about everything in their own. Therefore I began to 
 talk about Christmas and I said I looked forward to 
 spending it in Germany. 
 
 "It is only in Germany that Christmas is celebrated," 
 said Elsa, snappishly. "In other countries people eat 
 and drink, but they have no consecrated joy, no poetry, 
 no family feast." 
 
 "We have brown cakes and honey cakes and 
 Kringeln and marzipan," said Olga joining in. "All 
 the year I look forward to these things." 
 
 "What have you embroidered for your parents?" 
 asked Elsa, and found to her unconcealed surprise
 
 208 IRON COUSINS 
 
 that both the little girls had presents for their parents 
 manufactured with my assistance and not to be shown 
 to anyone till Christmas came. 
 
 While these small amenities passed amongst us 
 Caspar sat silent and smoked a cigar. Sometimes his 
 eyes were on me ; sometimes he seemed to see nothing 
 and to be sunk in thought. I could not interpret his 
 manner to Elsa yet and did not know whether he was 
 on the whole rejecting her addresses or responding 
 to them. They were a great deal together and I was 
 rarely with them. He had almost given up coming 
 to the midday dinner and days passed when I did not 
 set eyes on him, but only heard of meetings and 
 pleasure parties in which I took no part. Yet, when 
 the little girls took Elsa away with them for a moment 
 to inspect their hidden Christmas treasures he got up 
 at once and sidled across the room to me. The boys 
 at the other end were absorbed in a game of draughts 
 and paid no attention to us. 
 
 "How goes it with you?" he said in an undertone. 
 
 "Very well." 
 
 "Then you have no heart. I suffer terribly." 
 
 "You hide it." 
 
 "Not always. I believe my uncle and aunt suspect 
 something. They stopped my coming to dinner every 
 day . . ." 
 
 This was news to me and I looked up in surprise. 
 
 "Didn't you know? Don't you see that we are 
 not allowed to meet or even to speak to each other?" 
 
 I was silent. It crossed my mind that if we did 
 meet we should have nothing to say that had not been 
 said already. 
 
 "Have you a heart, Sallee? Sometimes I doubt it."
 
 IRON COUSINS 209 
 
 I dare say the indignation I felt flared in my face 
 as I moved away from him. 
 
 "Don't go away," he said, coming after me. "I was 
 just behind you yesterday when you spoke to Frau 
 Crefeld. I saw how unfriendly she was. Has that 
 Teufelsweib made mischief?" 
 
 "I dare say." 
 
 "What will you do?" 
 
 "Nothing. What can I do?" 
 
 "Tell them the truth. She has probably told lies." 
 
 I had no further chance of discussion because Elsa 
 came back and looked at us suspiciously. I could 
 hardly be surprised at that for I felt that my cheeks 
 were hot and I saw that Caspar's manner did not in- 
 stantly revert to one of correct indifference. 
 
 "Very nice little things they have made," she said 
 to me. "Did you learn them when you were trained 
 as a teacher?" 
 
 "I have not been trained as a teacher," I told her. 
 
 "Then how can you teach ?" 
 
 I assured her modestly that I could not teach and 
 she said she had guessed as much when she heard 
 me giving the children a lesson. 
 
 "But the children are learning English very 
 quickly," said Caspar. 
 
 The game of draughts being over and the board 
 shut Arthur came forward and explained matters. 
 
 "We have to learn English," he said. "We could 
 otherwise not talk as much as we wish to Sallee. She 
 is very stupid about German. We have no patience 
 with her when she tries to speak it and we laugh. If 
 you want to laugh you must hear Sallee speak 
 German."
 
 XXVIII 
 
 1SAW Caspar's parents for the first time on 
 Christmas Eve when they came to the Beschee- 
 rung: the distribution of Christmas presents and 
 the lighted tree. Everyone who was related to the 
 Plessens or intimate with them came, too, and the big 
 room in which the presents were set out on tables 
 was crowded. Germans do not hang presents on the 
 tree as we do nor, as far as I know, do they strip 
 it. Frau Plessen's tree touched the ceiling of an 
 unusually high room. It was huge in girth and had 
 the straight stiff branches a Christmas tree should 
 have to look right. It was covered with some kind 
 of white silvery powder and hung with little colored 
 fruits and sugar toys and lighted with colored candles. 
 I loved it because it made me think of the tree in 
 Hans Andersen's story and of the depths of the 
 German forest where it had slowly grown to its 
 present size. It stood in splendor at one end of the 
 room and beyond it I saw the twinkling lights of the 
 Alster, and if I went close to the window, the falling 
 snow. On the other side of the tree the scene was 
 one of hilarity and movement. The children were 
 wildly excited, Herr Plessen looked ruminative but 
 beaming, Frau Plessen's authoritative voice made it- 
 self heard at critical moments, Fraulein Popper 
 slopped over in thanks for a length of black silk for
 
 IRON COUSINS 211 
 
 a dress but murmured to someone in my hearing that 
 she would rather have had a new muff. Elsa was 
 in ecstasies over everything on her table and Caspar 
 thanked her for a pair of braces that she had em- 
 broidered for him with her own hands. At least she 
 told him so, but I had never seen them in her hands 
 and she had only been in Hamburg three weeks. Per- 
 haps she sat up at nights. 
 
 "Promise me that you will always wear them," she 
 said to him. 
 
 "But of course I shall wear them." 
 
 "From to-morrow?" 
 
 "I'll go and put them on at once if you like." 
 
 It was unfortunate, but I stood near and could not 
 help hearing the overcharged sentiment in her tone 
 and the ridicule in his; and she knew that I heard 
 and took umbrage. She walked away, tossing her 
 head, and in a pettish voice designed to reach me 
 said something to his mother about the Englanderin. 
 
 Caspar's mother, the Frau Comnierzienrath, was 
 one of those enormous women to be met once in a 
 lifetime in England and at every street corner in 
 Germany. I did not wonder when I saw her, that 
 she hardly ever came to the Jungfcrnstieg. "She 
 suffers from the heat," I had been told. "She cannot 
 mount our stairs." I should have said to look at 
 her, that she had over-eaten herself at every meal 
 since the day she was born and had never taken any 
 exercise. Her small shrewd eyes were sunk in her 
 red fleshy face. She had a double chin, her cheeks 
 were baggy; she sat in one chair, immovable and 
 benevolently smiling. She wore a handsome plum- 
 colored velvet dress, costly lace and some magnificent
 
 212 IRON COUSINS 
 
 diamonds. Not many. To wear many diamonds 
 would have been considered "jiidisch" and was not 
 the thing in Hamburg. She had made much of Elsa 
 all the evening, called her her licbe Gor which is low 
 German for "dear girl" and used humorously by the 
 educated, while Elsa returned again and again to the 
 chair where the Fran C ommcrsienrath sat enthroned, 
 now to effuse over the presents she had received and 
 now to crack some joke with her over the little events 
 of the evening. The Hcrr Commerzicnrath was a 
 largely made man with an ugly heavy neck that was 
 square with his head at the back, and red. He had 
 a low, scowling brow, hard eyes and a merciless jaw. 
 You could imagine him getting the best of his bar- 
 gains by fair means or foul, but I could not imagine 
 his light-hearted son in conflict with him. The wonder 
 was that anyone under his heel should be cheerful 
 and light-hearted. I had been presented to these 
 people when they arrived and the woman had spoken 
 civilly and said something about my having nursed the 
 children through their illness. The man had more or 
 less turned his back on me. He had boorish manners. 
 I could not spend the evening between the tree and 
 the window as I should have liked to do. When we 
 first went into the room we all moved about looking 
 at our own presents and at each other's. There were 
 five small tables for the family and one long one for 
 their friends, and every table had a white cloth to 
 show up the gifts on it. I was quite taken aback 
 by mine: a handsome stole and muff of astrakhan cloth 
 lined with silk, gloves, scent, sweets, books from the 
 children and in an envelope a hundred marks. Every- 
 one was running here and there thanking everyone
 
 IRON COUSINS 213 
 
 else, chattering, smiling, exclaiming that their heart's 
 desire was satisfied. I had to wait for a chance of 
 getting near enough to the Plessens to speak to them 
 and as I waited I found Caspar at my elbow. The 
 little girls who had discovered my corner of the long 
 table before I did had insisted on putting the stole 
 round my neck and the muff in my hands to judge 
 how they suited me; and I could see in Caspar's eyes 
 that they suited me well. But his eyes were clouded 
 to-night. 
 
 "Na Frdulein, you have luck!" croaked old Frau- 
 lein Popper, ambling up to me and glancing suspi- 
 ciously from me to Caspar. "Such furs I am sure 
 you have never possessed before." 
 
 I made some civil nondescript remark and edged a 
 little nearer to Frau Plessen, but I was not to escape 
 so easily. The old witch had been handling the long 
 ends of my stole and she now burst into a screech 
 of derisive laughter. 
 
 "But it is not fur at all! It is only cloth! He! 
 he ! he ! Never mind. To-morrow is also a day, and 
 perhaps to-morrow . . . when one is young and 
 prettily grown strange things happen . . ." 
 
 She leered at Caspar and he glowered at her. Elsa 
 listened and stared sulkily. Frau Plessen pricked up 
 her ears and the Herr C omnierzienrath turned his 
 hard glance on me and seemed to be aware of my 
 existence for the first time. 
 
 "Nanu" said Herr Plessen good-humoredly, "if 
 Miss Danvers is pleased . . ." 
 
 "I am," I cried so hastily and fervently that people 
 near laughed and Frau Plessen relaxed the severity 
 of her glance as I took her hand.
 
 214 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "They are not furs," she said with a note of apology 
 in her tone, "but they are as warm and very becom- 
 ing." 
 
 "What is wanted is a cap," said Herr Plessen, "a 
 cap of the same fur." 
 
 "I will get one," I said, and thanked them both for 
 all their gifts. Then I had to thank Elsa for a little 
 calendar she had given me and the four children for 
 their books, and everyone thanked me for my gifts 
 to them. You can imagine what a hullabaloo there 
 was in the room with all of us talking at once and 
 looking at toys and clothes and trinkets and offering 
 each other sweets and wondering when there would 
 be skating on the Alster. The only restful thing was 
 the big shining tree and I looked up at it when I could 
 get away behind it for a moment to watch the snow. 
 I stood there with my stole round my neck and my 
 hands in the pleasant depths of my new big muff 
 when Caspar came beside me. 
 
 "They leave me no peace," he said miserably. 
 "They want me to marry that goose." 
 
 I had known it and yet when he told me I felt 
 sick at heart and desolate. His behavior ought to 
 have struck at the roots of my affection for him, and 
 no doubt it had. But not quite hard enough. He 
 seemed less a man of the world than usual to-night: 
 of the Hamburg world that is, material, prosperous 
 and self-satisfied. He looked dreadfully worried and 
 half-ashamed of himself. Of course I know that he 
 ought to have been wholly ashamed of himself, but 
 then he would not have been Caspar Heiling. 
 
 "Have you nothing to say?" he went on impa- 
 tiently. "Don't you care what happens?"
 
 IRON COUSINS 215 
 
 I turned on him then. 
 
 "Take me by the hand," I said in a low indignant 
 voice. "Go up to your father and tell him you mean 
 to marry me. Are you man enough for that?" 
 
 He bit his mustache in the way he had when he 
 was worried, stared at me, stared away from me and 
 lost color. 
 
 "You ask impossibilities," he said. "Have you any 
 idea of the Krach there would be and of what would 
 follow? I should probably be sent off to China . . . 
 next week . . . and you back to England to-morrow." 
 
 "I've nothing more to say," I told him, and if I had 
 not wished to behave with dignity I should have ad- 
 vised him to go and put on his embroidered braces. 
 It was quite easy for me to slip back into the crowded 
 room by my side of the tree and I did so now just 
 in time. For as I escaped I heard Elsa's voice twit- 
 ting Caspar with his Hamlet-like humor and asking 
 him if he had hidden himself in order to compose a 
 soliloquy. In some ways she certainly was a goose. 
 She had not the sense to leave the young man alone 
 or pride enough to resent his want of fervor. The 
 way she threw herself at his head was brazen and 
 shocked me, but I thought that if the marriage ever 
 came off she would hold her own. Of the two she 
 had more force of character and she knew exactly 
 what she wanted. She had pussy-cat ways with her 
 elders and sentimental ways with Caspar, but anyone 
 could see that underneath she was as hard as nails. 
 
 When I got back into the room the fun had become 
 fast and furious because a figure like the witch in 
 Hansel and Gretel with the cracked screeching voice 
 of Fraulein Popper had arrived with a sock full of
 
 216 IRON COUSINS 
 
 parcels which she was throwing here and there to 
 people shouting Yulklapp with each one and getting in 
 response a shout in chorus of Yulklapp accompanied 
 by laughter and cries of surprise and delight. The 
 most important presents of the evening seemed to be 
 delivered in this way and some primitive ingenuity 
 had been shown in wrapping them up. Frau Plessen 
 found a diamond ring in a parcel big enough to hold 
 a mummy, and Oscar's first watch arrived in a bit of 
 newspaper as if it was of no account. To my sur- 
 prise a small soft package bearing my name type- 
 written was hurled at me across the room and when 
 I opened it I found an astrakhan cap, or rather a 
 small close hat. The little girls saw me open the 
 parcel and of course drew public attention to it. 
 
 "Someone has sent Sallee a fur cap." 
 
 "Who has sent it, Sallee? Is there no greeting with 
 it? Let me see. I shall surely find out who sent it." 
 
 "Try it on, Sallee. Here is my new hand-glass. 
 Put it on. It clothes you well. See, Mamma, what 
 Sallee has become. A beautiful fur cap." 
 
 Frau Plessen looked at it on my head. My first 
 idea was that she had probably bought it with the 
 stole and muff. But it was of fur. 
 
 "Real astrakhan," she said, and looked far from 
 pleased. 
 
 "Did you send it, Mutti?" asked Olga. 
 
 "I know nothing about it," she said, and turned to 
 some other guests with the effect of turning her back 
 on the cap and on me. 
 
 "But who can have sent it?" said Olga. 
 
 Trudi and Arthur looked at each and began to 
 giggle.
 
 IRON COUSINS 217 
 
 "You know who sent it?" cried the elder girl. 
 
 "We know but we shall not say." 
 
 "To me you may say. I shall tell no one. X 
 promise." 
 
 "We do not even know. We only guess." 
 
 "Tell me what you guess." 
 
 They put their heads together and giggled again, 
 and I heard something about chocolates. I left the 
 cap lying on the table when at the end of the evening 
 I gathered up the things that had been given to me.
 
 XXIX 
 
 BUT I was not to get rid of the fur cap so easily. 
 Next day at breakfast Frau Plessen said to me 
 in a tone as frozen as the Alster : 
 
 "You left one of your presents behind last night, 
 Miss Danvers." 
 
 The big tree still stood in front of the windows 
 but otherwise the room was in apple-pie order again 
 so that the fur cap, hung conspicuously on the top of 
 an empty chair, had a rakish look and attracted the 
 eye. It was impossible to pretend not to know which 
 present Frau Plessen meant. The cap hit me in the 
 face directly I came in. 
 
 "I will remove it after breakfast," I said. 
 
 "Sallee becomes red," Arthur informed the com- 
 pany, and I could feel it myself. I looked across the 
 table at him indignantly. 
 
 "You are pale," I said hurrying on to another sub- 
 ject. "You probably ate too many sweets last night." 
 
 But he was busy with his Semmel and butter and 
 did not answer me. There was a silence round the 
 table that the business of breakfast did not cover. 
 Elsa had hardly answered my good morning when I 
 came in and she looked out of humor. There was east 
 wind in the weather I felt, although her lieber Onkel 
 and her lieber Tante were addressed ai usual with 
 mellifluous and dutiful sweetness. 
 
 Herr Plessen, like many men, was happily insensible 
 218
 
 IRON COUSINS 219 
 
 to small changes of temperature in the domestic ba- 
 rometer and I am sure that he did not know anything 
 was wrong when he looked up from his paper and 
 said: 
 
 "Why is a hat hanging on a dining-room chair?" 
 You see he had not noticed what we had been say- 
 ing about it, but when his gaze lighted on it he was 
 taken aback. Such disorder was unprecedented and 
 enigmatic. 
 
 "The hat belongs to Miss Danvers," said his wife. 
 
 "But why is it in the dining-room?" 
 
 "I left it here last night," I explained. "I will take 
 it away after breakfast and put it in the fire." 
 
 "But what is the matter with the hat?" said Herr 
 Plessen with mild surprise. "Why should you put 
 a good hat into the fire? Don't you like it?" 
 
 "No," I said. The two ladies were watching me, 
 I knew, although I did not look at them and when I 
 said I would burn the hat the little girls had given a 
 low cry of dismay. 
 
 "Who gave it to you?" asked Herr Plessen. 
 
 "It was sent to me anonymously. I shall not 
 wear it." 
 
 "Ach ! Sallee !" moaned Trudi. "How angry then 
 will Caspar be ! Surely he sent it !" 
 
 I got red again when the child said that, and Elsa 
 glared at me angrily, while Frau Plessen's firm hands 
 twitched nervously and no doubt longed to box my 
 ears. 
 
 "Go on with your breakfast, Trudi, and talk no non- 
 sense," she commanded sharply. 
 
 "What is true is not nonsense," argued Trudi ob- 
 stinately.
 
 220 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Do you want a box on the ears?" threatened her 
 mother. 
 
 "But Trudi knows what she says," put in Arthur. 
 "She was there when Caspar gave Sophie a package 
 for a Yulklapp! Let no one see it, he said, and he 
 gave Sophie twenty marks. He did not notice that 
 Trudi was there or perhaps he thought she would 
 not understand. But when he had gone Sophie opened 
 the parcel and tried on the hat; but she did not like 
 herself in it. She says her own is more modern." 
 
 "I find that Sallee is very unfriendly to Caspar," 
 sang Trudi in her meditative treble. That child was 
 the image of her father. She ruminated over what 
 she had to say and then she said it, regardless of con- 
 sequences. "When we had scarlet he sent her an 
 enormous box of chocolates and she would not open 
 it. Papa knows this." 
 
 That put the lid on. In a voice no one dared dis- 
 regard the family autocrat ordered silence and a few 
 minutes later when we had all finished our rolls and 
 coffee she bundled the four children out of the room. 
 
 "Has Caspar been paying court to you, as he does 
 to every woman passably good-looking?" she asked 
 me bluntly. 
 
 "There is nothing between us," I answered after a 
 moment's consideration. 
 
 "How could there be anything between you except 
 a young man's nonsense? I hope you can take care 
 of yourself. If not you had better go back to England 
 to-morrow." 
 
 "But Ottilie," interrupted Herr Plessen, "Miss 
 Danvers has shown herself most devoted. She has
 
 IRON COUSINS 221 
 
 just nursed our children through a tedious ill- 
 ness ..." 
 
 "I am not rinding fault with Miss Danvers. I 
 neither forget nor exaggerate what she has done. The 
 children had scarlet very lightly and after the first 
 fortnight she must have had an easy time." 
 
 "I did," I agreed. 
 
 "I will give that hat back to Caspar myself," con- 
 tinued Frau Plessen. 
 
 Elsa was sitting there with a frosty face, silent and 
 sullen. But her silence proved to be of the kind that 
 precedes a storm, for she suddenly startled us all by 
 crying out in an angry voice: 
 
 "I am going home. To-day I am going home." 
 
 We stared at her. 
 
 "I will not stay here any longer to be made a fool 
 of," she added. 
 
 I got up and went out of the room, so unfortunately, 
 I cannot tell you what passed between Elsa and her 
 uncle and aunt. However, they must have smoothed 
 her down, because she did not go home but met me in 
 the corridor later in the morning dressed to the nines 
 with a triumph and light in her eyes. 
 
 "My aunt wishes me to tell you that we shall not 
 be in to dinner," she said. "The children are to have 
 a walk this morning and to remain quietly at home 
 this afternoon. They must be ready by four o'clock 
 to go to the Uhlenhorst." 
 
 I had not been officially told that I was to accom- 
 pany the family to the Christmas party at the Heil- 
 ings, but I had taken it for granted, and when four 
 o'clock came the children and I were ready; the chil- 
 dren bubbling over with excitement and I wondering
 
 222 IRON COUSINS 
 
 what had happened about the fur cap and where Frau 
 Plessen had been with Elsa. They had come back 
 at three but I did not see them till the car was there 
 to take the party to the Uhlenhorst. Herr Plessen had 
 gone there by himself. When Frau Plessen saw me 
 she said: 
 
 "Are you going out, Miss Danvers? You didn't 
 tell me." 
 
 I naturally felt rather taken aback and no doubt I 
 showed it. 
 
 "You are not invited to my brother's house," she 
 said pointedly. 
 
 "Oh ! I'm sorry," I murmured, feeling like a fool. 
 "I somehow thought . . ." 
 
 I could not very well tell her that as the Frau Com- 
 merzienrath had said good-night yesterday she had 
 deigned to remind me that I was expected at her house 
 to-morrow, but Trudi had no such scruples. 
 
 "Sallee is invited," she said now. "I heard Tante 
 Olga tell her that she was expected." 
 
 "Will you mind your own business?" screamed 
 Frau Plessen stamping her foot at her, and they de- 
 parted without me. 
 
 It was Christmas Day and before long I was alone 
 in the flat, for the maids had been given leave to go 
 out. I'm afraid I can't make any appeal to your 
 compassion and tell you that I felt lonely, offended 
 or unhappy. When I left the Melkstrasse I had gone 
 from one extreme to the other. There I was lonely; 
 here I sometimes longed to be alone. So when every- 
 one had gone I drew near the stove with "Ekkehardt" 
 which Oscar had given me for Christmas and began 
 to read. When I looked up I saw the silvery tree and
 
 IRON COUSINS 223 
 
 the twinkling lights on the Alster. Inside the room 
 it was warm and quiet and cozy. Sophie had put me 
 some supper on the table before she went out, and 
 beside me on a chair I had a plate of cakes and 
 Kringeln and marzipan. Some of the cakes were 
 gingerbread, some were honey and each one was about 
 six inches by four and had one almond in the middle. 
 The Kringeln were crisp sugary knots like figures of 
 eight and some were pink and some white. The 
 marzipan had been Arthur's present and he had chosen 
 imitation vegetables colored to resemble carrots, tur- 
 nips and potatoes. I liked looking at these things 
 because they had come instead of holly, turkey and 
 plum pudding to remind me that it was Christmas. 
 I wondered how Aunt Susan was getting on in Rome 
 and whether we should be in Chelsea together next 
 year. I decided that I had had enough of Hamburg 
 and the Plessens. It would be a relief to get away. 
 There was a little ache in my heart when I thought 
 of Caspar, but only a little one. I had ceased to take 
 him seriously. There had been a flickering flame of 
 love for a short time and he himself had put it out. 
 Was it quite out? Could it be fanned into a fire 
 again? The fire that burns steadily and cheerfully on 
 the hearth lending life its glow through youth to 
 age ? I mused and wondered but I remained calm. 
 
 The telephone bell roused me and I went to answer 
 it. Who was there? Herr Plessen was there. It 
 had been a mistake. The Heilings expected me and 
 the car was on its way back to fetch me. Would I 
 be ready in five minutes? I said I would and only 
 half willingly put on my fur coat. Then the door-
 
 224 IRON COUSINS 
 
 bell rang and when I answered it Oscar and Arthur 
 greeted me. 
 
 "We have come for you," they said. 
 
 "But why? I should have been all right in the 
 car." 
 
 "We both prefer the car to the party. It is a dull 
 party. After yesterday everyone is tired and one 
 can never eat enough to please Aunt Olga. Always 
 she sings 'A little more' and heaps up one's plate 
 until one feels sick." 
 
 "And so at last Arthur said 'Because we are boys 
 we are still not pigs,' and then there was Krach," 
 narrated Oscar. "Mamma boxed his ears and Aunt 
 Olga cried and we came away. It is a dull party and 
 at the Uhlenhorst, I tell you, there is always Krach. 
 Last time we cut the billiard table/ ' 
 
 "Caspar and Elsa are verlobt," said Arthur in a 
 matter of fact voice. "They sit next to each other 
 and hold each other's hands. When she looks at them 
 Aunt Olga cries. She only cried a little more when 
 I made her a Grobheit, and Mamma boxed my ears 
 because it is the second day of Christmas and we 
 all have nerves and are tired. If it had not been 
 me it would have been one of the others. I wish we 
 could stay here with Sallee. A family party is to 
 me a Greuel." 
 
 "I wish we could stay here," I said. 
 
 "There would be Krach," said Oscar, and so we 
 set out for the Uhlenhorst in the Heilings' car.
 
 XXX 
 
 THE Heilings' villa on the Uhlenhorst stood in 
 a good-sized garden which was now thickly 
 carpeted with snow. From the snow queer- 
 shaped bundles emerged which I took to be roses in 
 their winter wrappings. The house itself was of the 
 florid style of architecture that Germans love, but 
 roomy and comfortable inside. We found about 
 twenty people gathered in a large salon where there 
 was a lighted tree and a display of presents, while 
 on a red silk divan in the center of the room sat 
 Elsa in white with Caspar hovering near her. When 
 I went in with the children the Frau Commerzienrath 
 received me civilly and presented me with a copy of 
 Uhland's poems saying that she knew I was a great 
 reader and liked German poetry. I thanked her and 
 then stood about the room with the children, looking 
 at their presents and at other people's. At least, I 
 tried to fix their attention on the presents but the 
 little girls were much more interested in the new 
 Brautpaar and told me in thrilled whispers the whole 
 romantic story of the day's doings as they understood 
 them. 
 
 "To-day Mamma and Elsa had lunch with Caspar 
 at Bauer's and they ate oysters and drank champagne ; 
 and after lunch Elsa went for a drive with Caspar 
 in the automobile and when they came back they were 
 verlobt. So quick was it! and imagine . . . Elsa did 
 225
 
 226 IRON COUSINS 
 
 not know Caspar was in love with her. I heard her 
 say so to Aunt Olga. But now she is happy and soon 
 they will be married and we shall be bridesmaids. It 
 is a promise." 
 
 "Did you burn the fur cap ?" said Trudi, fixing her 
 inquiring gaze on me. 
 
 "No," I said. "Your mother took it." 
 
 "Doubtless she returned it to Caspar. Perhaps he 
 will now present it to Elsa." 
 
 Trudi heaved a deep sigh and looked as if her 
 world was out of joint. I put my arm round her. 
 
 "What's the matter, Trudi ?" I asked. "Tired ?" 
 
 She shook her head. 
 
 "If Caspar had married you you would have stayed 
 in Hamburg," she said. "Now, some day you will 
 go away." 
 
 "Yes," I said, thinking mostly of myself and speak- 
 ing cheerfully, "I shall soon go away." 
 
 To my horror and amazement Trudi burst into a 
 storm of tears that attracted the attention of the whole 
 company to our corner of the room. Frau Plessen, 
 who had taken no notice of me, came up now and 
 asked angrily what was the matter. 
 
 "Sallee will go away from us," sobbed the child. 
 "She says she will go away." 
 
 "Not yet, Trudi," I said, trying to comfort her, 
 "not for a long time." 
 
 Frau Plessen looked at me oddly. There was a 
 silence in the room only broken irregularly by Trudi's 
 sobs. For the first time since I had arrived Caspar 
 seemed to recognize my presence. He and Elsa had 
 walked towards us at the sound of Trudi's pre- 
 liminary howl and had stayed to hear her explanation.
 
 IRON COUSINS 227 
 
 And now Caspar, in his most brisk man-of -the- world 
 manner, said "How d'ye do" to me and made some 
 joke about my having perhaps pinched Trudi and 
 caused her to cry. 
 
 "Sallee does not pinch," said Trudi, her tears drying 
 up suddenly as children's tears will. "I cry because 
 Sallee says she will leave us." 
 
 There was another moment of tense silence during 
 which Caspar looked at me much as his aunt had 
 done, interpreting what Trudi said no doubt in the 
 light of recent events, while Elsa with a little giggle 
 and modestly downcast eyelids murmured : 
 
 "Miss Danvers has not heard about us yet, Caspar. 
 Otherwise she would have offered us her congratula- 
 tions." 
 
 Then she raised her eyelids and looked me full in 
 the face; and if ever a woman wished she had the 
 voice of a cock and could crow Elsa Mieding did at 
 that moment. 
 
 "Of course Sallee knows," put in Trudi. "The 
 boys told her when they fetched her in the car." 
 
 I dashed in then with my congratulations for 
 there was no knowing what Trudi would say next, 
 but I had soon finished and so had the bridal pair. 
 Trudi being wound up began again, she fixed her 
 round innocent blue eyes on Caspar and said in a 
 penetrating voice: 
 
 "What have you done with the fur cap that Sallee 
 sent back to you? Have you given it to Elsa?" 
 
 Frau Plessen took matters in hand then. She shook 
 Trudi violently and Trudi set up a piercing howl 
 again. 
 
 "Take her out of the room," said her mother to
 
 228 IRON COUSINS 
 
 me with a disagreeable rasp in her voice, and we 
 escaped together to the hall, where I soon comforted 
 the child. But she had an inquiring mind and a hatred 
 of injustice that often made life puzzling and difficult. 
 
 "Caspar did send you the cap and you did say you 
 would not wear it," she crooned. "Perhaps he thought 
 you would be his Braut and not Elsa. I wish it was 
 so. I like Elsa very well but I like you better. There 
 is Caspar. Caspar, why do you not go and live in 
 Turkey? I would come too when I was old enough. 
 I love you and I love Sallee and I can bear with 
 Elsa. But Elsa can be langweillg. She preaches too 
 much." 
 
 "Why should I go to Turkey ? What does the child 
 mean?" said Caspar, informing us first that we were 
 expected to join the others in the dining-room and 
 partake of chocolate and cakes. 
 
 "In Turkey a man may have several brides," ex- 
 plained Trudi. "I have learnt it at school. It is true. 
 You could take Elsa and Sallee and me, too. De- 
 cidedly I would come, too. Think of it, Caspar. It 
 would be heavenly." 
 
 "Heidenwirtshaft!" said Caspar, avoiding my eyes. 
 "Geht nicht Kind! We are Germans! Come. The 
 chocolate is getting cold." But as we walked across 
 the hall together Trudi ran on ahead to open the door 
 and he found time to say to me in an angry under- 
 tone: 
 
 "I thank you humbly for the basket." 
 
 "What basket?" I said quickly. I could not think 
 what he meant for a moment. 
 
 "The fur cap then, that you returned to me by my 
 aunt." 
 
 "You should not have sent it"
 
 IRON COUSINS 229 
 
 "You need not have forced my hand. I had a fear- 
 ful scene with my aunt. In the end I gave way. I 
 want my peace. And a basket is a basket." 
 
 I waited till I got home and then I took down my 
 fat German dictionary and found that the colloquial 
 meaning of basket was "the mitten, the sack or the 
 bag." 
 
 About a week later the Alster was safe for skating and 
 on the ice I met Miss Campbell who came up to me as if 
 nothing had happened to part us and without any pre- 
 amble began to talk about Caspar's engagement to Elsa. 
 
 "It has been a nine days' wonder," she said, her 
 beady eyes fixed on mine intently. "No one thought 
 he would settle down yet. I, least of all." 
 
 "Fraulein Mieding is very attractive," I murmured. 
 
 "She has a fine color and a good head of hair, but 
 she is not hilbsch gezvachsen. Her figure is clumsy. 
 Is it true that she has half a million?" 
 
 "I have no idea what she has. I should think it 
 unlikely." 
 
 "Of course I am talking of marks. Twenty-five 
 thousand is nothing. Still for people in modest cir- 
 cumstances it is enough. The Heilings are not really 
 rich people. Just comfortable and the young man 
 has expensive tastes. He could not have married a 
 girl without money." 
 
 "Well! He isn't going to," I said, trying to skate 
 away from Miss Campbell. But the ice was rough 
 where we were and I was a poor performer. She 
 kept up with me easily. 
 
 "Are you staying on with the Plessens ?" she asked. 
 
 "I suppose so, for the present." 
 
 "I thought perhaps . . ." 
 
 She did not finish and I did not help her out. It
 
 230 IRON COUSINS 
 
 was a gay scene on the ice and I was enjoying myself 
 in spite of my presumably broken heart and the irrita- 
 tion of a human mosquito beside me. The sun was 
 shining, the whole city seemed to be out of doors, 
 booths had come like mushrooms in the night and all 
 sorts and conditions of men were skating, promena- 
 ding, laughing and trafficking together here. Ahead of 
 me were the four children, hand in hand, and a little 
 further on I saw Herr Plessen lumbering along beside 
 his Ottilie who skated well in a dull straightforward 
 way. The lovers had disappeared. 
 
 "What does a man mean when he says you have 
 given him a basket?" I asked Miss Campbell. 
 
 "Don't you know that yet? But it is an expression 
 in constant use. A woman gives a man a basket when 
 she refuses him." 
 
 "But why a basket?" 
 
 'That I cannot tell you. It is an expression like 
 any other. When you dismiss a man you give him 
 a basket." 
 
 "I suppose it is metaphorical. It needn't really be 
 a basket?" 
 
 "It never is anything. Your refusal is the basket." 
 
 "But it might be something. If, for instance, a 
 man sent you a present . . ." 
 
 "It would never come to that with me," said Miss 
 Campbell frostily. "I have too much self-respect to 
 allow any man a liberty." 
 
 I sighed. She put me in the wrong terribly and 
 no one enjoys being put in the wrong. 
 
 "When a woman is refused or jilted by a man the 
 Germans say she has remained sitting," said Miss 
 Campbell. "Sie ist sitzen geblicben."
 
 IRON COUSINS 231 
 
 "It sounds as if she was a hen," I said. 
 
 "Not at all. It has nothing to do with hens. It 
 means that she is left." 
 
 "I see." 
 
 "It must be a disagreeable experience." 
 
 "Horrid, I should think." 
 
 "So mortifying." 
 
 "Ye es, unless the victim got over it." 
 
 "She would naturally pretend to . . ." 
 
 I didn't see why I should stay there and have pins 
 stuck into me as if I was a wax figure and she a 
 medieval witch. 
 
 "I think I must join the children now/' I said. "So 
 long." 
 
 "Good-morning," said Miss Campbell, pursing her 
 lips at the vulgarity of my adieu. I knew it would 
 upset her. 
 
 But I was not in luck that day. Perhaps I was 
 a little ruffled and therefore preoccupied and careless. 
 I certainly was an inexperienced skater, unprepared 
 for emergencies ; and I wanted to forge ahead quickly. 
 So I got all the weigh I could on and felt quite pleased 
 with myself when I suddenly saw a whole row of 
 school boys skimming hand in hand towards me. As 
 soon as I saw them we seemed to collide. There was 
 a confused disastrous moment, a melee in which I 
 went down with my left leg under me. I screamed 
 with the pain of it and never for a moment did I lose 
 consciousness. I wish 1 could have done so. Boys 
 seemed to be sitting on my chest and boys were weigh- 
 ing down my leg; the injured one that I could not 
 move. A crowd gathered round us babbling, scolding 
 and exclaiming.
 
 232 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Why don't you get up?" someone said to me. 
 
 "Take those boys away," I entreated; and at last 
 they all tumbled to their feet again, leaving me lying. 
 And in spite of the excruciating pain I knew my hat 
 had been pulled off my head and my fur coat half 
 off my body in the scrimmage. 
 
 "Are you hurt?" said someone else. 
 
 "She looks deathly pale." 
 
 "She is about to faint." 
 
 "Get a doctor." 
 
 "Get a gendarme." 
 
 "Who is she ... an England erin." 
 
 They all seemed to talk at once and their voices 
 began to buzz in my ears and the daylight turned to 
 darkness. I shut my eyes and shivered with cold. 
 Then I opened them again because a little man in 
 spectacles was pulling at my leg and hurting it hor- 
 ribly. I looked at him. 
 
 "You have broken your leg," he said. 
 
 "I thought so." 
 
 "Where do you live?" 
 
 I told him. 
 
 "Will you be taken there or to a Klinik f" 
 
 "To a Klinik," I said. 
 
 "One where you will have to pay so much a week, 
 I mean. Before you could be admitted to a free in- 
 firmary there would be formalities . . . delay . . . 
 and your leg should be attended to at once." 
 
 "I'll pay what is necessary," I told him. 
 
 "I will have you taken to my own Klinik," he said 
 then, and gave orders to various people standing 
 around. Then he waited beside me till a stretcher 
 was brought and I could be carried away.
 
 XXXI 
 
 THE Plessens both paid me a visit in Dr. Leh- 
 mann's Klinik that evening after my leg had 
 been set and when I was still in great pain. 
 They were very kind. At least he was really and she 
 was officially, but I could see that she was uncom- 
 monly glad not to have me at the flat and perhaps 
 also relieved to have me out of the way for the time. 
 Dr. Lehmann had informed them of the accident. 
 
 "I suppose you have telegraphed to your aunt," said 
 Herr Plessen. 
 
 "No !" I said. "She is in Rome." 
 
 "Even if one is in Rome one wishes to know what 
 is happening to one's kith and kin," he argued. 
 
 "The English are so cold-blooded," said his wife. 
 "Family feeling hardly exists amongst them." 
 
 I shut my eyes and wished they would go, but they 
 went on talking to each other. 
 
 "This is an expensive Klinik/' said Frau Plessen. 
 
 "It looks clean and comfortable." 
 
 "I am saying that it is expensive. It will probably 
 cost eighty marks a week ... if not more." 
 
 "When she can be moved we will bring her back 
 to the flat. The children can wait on her." 
 
 "What an idea! The children will be going to 
 school again. What sort of person was the aunt?" 
 233
 
 234 IRON COUSINS 
 
 They spoke in low voices as if they thought I was 
 asleep and could not hear, but I heard them as I've 
 sometimes heard voices on board ship, quite clearly 
 and yet a long way off. I'd not completely come out 
 of the anaesthetic yet that I had taken when they set 
 my leg and I felt drowsy, dull and ill. 
 
 "The aunt was a highly educated person," mumbled 
 Herr Plessen. "One might say aristocratic." 
 
 "How can she be in Rome? Had she money then 
 for such a journey?" 
 
 "One cannot get from London to Rome without 
 money. I suppose she has enough. It was a quite 
 decent little house and very tidy." 
 
 "In that case I do not understand why she allows 
 her niece to take service with strangers." 
 
 I think I must have dropped off for I did not hear 
 what Herr Plessen replied, and when I waked Dr. 
 Lehmann had come in and they were arranging to 
 have me moved to-morrow to a general ward where 
 there were other patients and each bed was cheaper. 
 
 "I won't be moved," I said. "I like this little room 
 to myself. I'll stay here." 
 
 "We think it is too expensive," said Frau Plessen, 
 stiffly. "Besides you will be lonely." 
 
 "I don't mind that. How expensive is it?" 
 
 "Eighty marks a week." 
 
 "How many weeks shall I be here?" 
 
 "At least six. Possibly more," said the doctor. 
 
 "Very well," I said. "I'll write to Aunt Susan about 
 it to-morrow. 
 
 The Plessens' manners underwent a great alteration 
 when they found that I meant to pay my own ex- 
 penses. Before that they had been kind but worried,
 
 IRON COUSINS 235 
 
 and Frau Plessen had asked me a whole string of 
 questions about what happened when I fell and why 
 I had been taken here instead of to a public infirmary. 
 They took leave of me cordially and Frau Plessen said 
 she would come again soon and bring one of the 
 children. 
 
 "Bring them all," I said sleepily, and then they 
 went away. 
 
 The next person who came to see me was Sophie, 
 the cook. She arrived on Sunday in her best clothes 
 and brought me some delicious little cakes made chiefly 
 of almond paste. 
 
 "I have baked them on purpose for you," she said. 
 "When one is ill one must eat well or one becomes 
 weak. Is the kitchen good here? Do they give you 
 strong food?" 
 
 "Very strong and plenty of it," I assured her. By 
 strong she meant nourishing and the food at the 
 Klinik was so nourishing that I had told Dr. Lehmann 
 that very morning that I should get fat. 
 
 "So much the better," he had said. "You are too 
 thin." 
 
 "But flabby, doctor! fat and flabby through having 
 no exercise and overmuch food. Pfni!" 
 
 He had only laughed; and then the midday dinner 
 had been so good that I had eaten it, and now I knew 
 Sophie would be hurt and disappointed if I did not 
 consume an almond cake before her eyes. I suppose 
 the cakes were made with Frau Plessen's eggs and 
 almonds and sugar but I did not like to ask. 
 
 "Such a misfortune!" exclaimed Sophie lifting both 
 hands and bringing down one on each knee. "When 
 I heard of it I wept. I suppose the Fraulein will
 
 236 IRON COUSINS 
 
 never walk straight again. All her days she will be 
 a cripple." 
 
 "No such thing!" I assured her, but I could not 
 convince her. She had an aunt who had broken her 
 leg and to this day the aunt limped when she walked 
 and one hip had grown out, spoiling the poor woman's 
 appearance. 
 
 "So she walks !" said Sophie, mimicking the hobble 
 of a person with one leg shorter than the other. 
 
 "How are the children ?" I asked. "Who looks after 
 them?" 
 
 "That falls upon Auguste and me." 
 
 "What about Fraulein Elsa?" 
 
 Sophie chuckled derisively. 
 
 "She has other ideas in her head. That one must 
 expect. On Wednesday we have the Verlobungs 
 Diner. All Tuesday night I shall be at work and 
 when it is over I shall be kaput." 
 
 "Who is coming to it?" 
 
 "Family. Always family and a few old friends. 
 Twenty people will sit down to it. The ham will 
 be stewed in champagne. Yesterday I saw Marie and 
 talked to her. Griddige Frau has played her a dirty 
 trick . . . poor girl. For weeks she could get no 
 place because it was written in her Dieiistbuch that 
 she had shamefully run away when there was illness 
 in the house and that she was not honest." 
 
 "Not honest !" 
 
 "Yes ! So it is. Such a Dienstbuch is a misfortune 
 for a poor girl. Time and time again I have seen it. 
 Marie hat manchmal genascht. That I cannot deny. 
 Here a little cake. There a corner of marzipan per- 
 haps. But is that dishonesty? I remember when
 
 IRON COUSINS 237 
 
 Fraulein herself ate a hot gooseberry tart out of the 
 oven. I remember it well because it was the first time 
 that the j linger Herr came into my kitchen and made 
 sheep's eyes at Fraulein and when you had both gone 
 I said to Marie 'He's got it badly' and now Marie's 
 living with the Crefelds and that ugly English Frau- 
 lein the one with the nose. . . . Pfui! ist sie hasslich 
 . . . und neugicrig!" 
 
 "Marie is living with the Crefelds!" I broke in, 
 hoping to stem Sophie's torrent of words and ward 
 off her revelations. 
 
 "Everything the English Fraulein asks about 
 everything. She has even paid a visit to Frau Bach 
 and asked questions there. I have said to Marie that 
 she is very silly to let herself be squeezed dry in that 
 way. One can always know nothing. But Marie is 
 afraid of losing her place again." 
 
 "But what is Marie supposed to know?" 
 
 "About you and the junger Herr. How he visited 
 you in the Melkstrasse and how you went out with 
 him of evenings and on Sundays." 
 
 "I only went one Sunday," I said, and then I wished 
 I had said nothing. 
 
 "I knew he would play you false. Armes Kind!" 
 said Sophie, shaking her head sapiently. 
 
 But a day or two later when Miss Campbell walked 
 into the room I did not feel cordially disposed to her. 
 
 "I saw you fall," she said. "I thought you seemed 
 very unsafe on your skates. I could not see what 
 happened after you fell and I only heard next day 
 that you had broken your leg. Did it hurt much?" 
 
 "Quite enough !" 
 
 "Frau Crefeld asked me to call and inquire. She
 
 238 IRON COUSINS 
 
 still takes an interest in you. She may come herself 
 some other day." 
 
 "I hope she will," I said. 
 
 "She is a very tolerant woman," said Miss Camp- 
 bell, staring round the room and at the same time 
 stroking her muff and smiling to herself. I said noth- 
 ing but lay there silently wishing she would go. 
 
 "Marie Bach is living with us now," she went on. 
 
 I said, "Is she ?" and shut my eyes. Miss Campbell 
 went on talking about Marie Bach and her Dienstbuch; 
 about her efficiency and inefficiency and about the 
 superiority of everything at the Crefelds over any- 
 thing at the Plessens. 
 
 "She had not been used to silver egg-cups," she 
 said. "I was surprised. I should have expected 
 people like the Plessens to have silver egg-cups. She 
 also says that for a dinner of twenty people Frau 
 Plessen has actually not sufficient silver spoons and 
 forks and that on such occasions she makes out with 
 electro-plate. Can it be true?" 
 
 "I have never counted Frau Plessen's spoons and 
 forks," I said sleepily. "If you like I'll ask her and 
 say you want to know." 
 
 "Does she come to see you then? I thought per- 
 haps . . ." 
 
 "What did you think?" 
 
 "Well! she must be very much occupied just now 
 ... as much as if she was marrying a daughter. 
 There will be the Brautdiner and then everyone will 
 invite the Brautpaar, and there is the trousseau to get 
 and all the furniture, and last but not least the wed- 
 ding. I suppose all Hamburg will go to that wedding.
 
 IRON COUSINS 239 
 
 When I say all Hamburg of course I mean ... I 
 mean . . ." 
 
 "The Hamburg that uses silver egg-cups," I sug- 
 gested. 
 
 "Exactly. There is one thing I'm really curious 
 to know. As a rule, I am the last person in the 
 world to take any interest in other people's affairs. 
 My mind is differently occupied. But I should like 
 to hear the real facts about Fraulein Mieding's dowry. 
 Can you tell me what it will be?" 
 
 "No," I said. "But when I ask about the spoons 
 I'll ask about that too." 
 
 She got up then and said she had a thousand things 
 to do and must not waste any more time gossiping 
 with me, but she would come again soon as she con- 
 sidered that countryfolk in a foreign land should 
 stand by each other and that when I got better she 
 would help me if she could. 
 
 "I suppose the Plessens are paying your expenses 
 here?" she said just before she opened the door to go. 
 
 "Someone will have to pay them," I answered. 
 
 "I believe they are liable. I will find out. But this 
 must be an expensive place and they are probably only 
 liable for a small sum. Did they place you here?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 "Who did?" 
 
 "Dr. Lehmann." 
 
 She stood by the door then, asking questions until 
 I had to tell her there was a draught and she must 
 please either come in or go out. So looking decidedly 
 affronted she went out and I, feeling decidedly worn, 
 fell asleep.
 
 XXXII 
 
 ONE day when I had been in the Klinik about 
 a fortnight Elsa came to see me bringing 
 Olga and Trudi who both rushed at me and 
 smothered me with kisses. I rather wished Elsa had 
 not been there, but the children could not have come 
 by themselves and Elsa's effect on our transports was 
 no more moderating than their mother's would have 
 been. 
 
 "Sallee ich Hebe Dich!" cried Trudi, snuggling her 
 head under my arm as well as she could. "Poor 
 Sallee! Has thou suffered much? Hast thou been 
 lonely and missed us as we have missed thee?" 
 
 "I bring you some flowers," said Olga, who minded 
 her p's and q's more than Trudi did and now pre- 
 sented me with a bunch of violets : a splendid bunch of 
 Parma violets such as you see in a shop window in 
 January and wonder who has money enough to buy 
 them. 
 
 "We may not tell you who bought them," said 
 Trudi. "They were very expensive." 
 
 I asked no questions but Elsa sat so that I could 
 hardly help seeing her face and getting the impres- 
 sion that she was not pleased. 
 
 "When people are ill everyone sends them flowers," 
 she said in the hard dogmatic way she could assume 
 240
 
 IRON COUSINS 241 
 
 at times. "It is a politeness like asking at the door." 
 
 "Just so," I agreed, sniffing at the violets. "But 
 these are lovely and when for a fortnight you've 
 been choked with ether and carbolic " 
 
 "Poor Sallee!" said Trudi, stroking my cheek. 
 "How glad Caspar will be that he met us near the 
 flower shop and asked where we were going." 
 
 Then she checked herself, turned crimson and stared 
 at Elsa as if she expected to be reproved. But Elsa 
 only gave a little shrug of her shoulders and addressed 
 herself to me. 
 
 "I could not get them away from the window . . . 
 the one in the Arcade you know. They had a mark 
 between them and wanted to ask for those violets. 
 Children have no idea. ... So when Caspar joined 
 us he bought them. He spoils Trudi. What she sets 
 her heart on she must have if he is there." 
 
 "When he is married it will be no longer so," said 
 Trudi solemnly. "He has said so to me." 
 
 "Tell me about the Brautdincr," I said hurriedly, 
 but as I have told you before when Trudi had it in 
 her mind to say something she said it. 
 
 "When people get married all their fun is over," 
 she informed us. "It becomes a schweres Dasein. 
 Caspar will have no money for violets. Elsa will take 
 all his money to pay the cook." 
 
 "The Brantdiner was a brilliant affair," narrated 
 Elsa. "My uncle and aunt spared nothing to do the 
 young couple honor. We sat down twenty at seven 
 o'clock and did not rise from the table till nearly 
 eleven. Of course there were speeches and toasts and 
 songs. Caspar spoke very well. I felt proud of him. 
 He said that marriage held no surprises for us be-
 
 242 IRON COUSINS 
 
 cause we had known each other for years and that 
 he knew my nature to be as truly golden as my hair. 
 His father spoke well, too. He said his son could 
 not have chosen a bride who was more welcome in 
 the family and that it made old people very happy 
 when their children placed their affections worthily. 
 He told me that I was very lucky to have won 
 Caspar's love and he told Caspar that I was above 
 rubies and must be always cherished and honored as 
 his most precious jewel. We were all moved and 
 Caspar's mother wept." 
 
 "Olga and I had ice pudding," said Trudi. "Sophie 
 brought us great lumps of it when we were in bed. 
 Ice pudding and bonbons and little cakes." 
 
 "Those little burnt almond baskets filled with 
 whipped cream," said Olga. "They are my Leib- 
 speise. Three I ate of them." 
 
 "The boys were allowed to sit up and be at the 
 dinner," said Trudi. "Everything is allowed to boys 
 it seems. Oscar ate too much and was ill in the 
 night." 
 
 "Oscar also swarms for those little almond baskets," 
 murmured Olga with an expression of rapture on her 
 face. You would have thought to look at her that 
 she was talking of the sea or the sky. 
 
 "You've forgotten your English already," I said. 
 "You're as bad as the German who told his English 
 friend that when his wife didn't lie, she swindled." 
 
 I had to explain that venerable chestnut to theni at 
 great length and then Elsa harked back to the Braut- 
 diner and told me what everyone had worn and how 
 Caspar had complimented her on her dress which 
 had been of white crepe-de-chine with which she wore
 
 IRON COUSINS 243 
 
 the row of pearls he gave her in honor of the occasion. 
 
 "I cannot take them off to show you," she said, 
 fiddling at her neck. "I have promised to wear them 
 night and day until we are married." 
 
 "Do not wear them when you take a bath then?" 
 said Trudi, gazing at her cousin with immense in- 
 terest. "However, that is not often?" 
 
 I pinched Trudi's arm which was near mine under 
 the bed-clothes, but that did no good as she asked 
 me why I did it. Elsa mumbled something in an 
 annoyed tone about the mediaeval arrangements for 
 bathing at her aunt's flat and said that she had abso- 
 lutely refused to inhabit one after her marriage unless 
 it had central heating and every other modern com- 
 fort. 
 
 "When are you going to be married?" I said. I 
 was glad to find that I could speak of the event with- 
 out showing the least emotion. I think my accident 
 and my surroundings helped me. I felt segregated 
 from the world for the time being and screened from 
 the adverse winds that had swept me out of my 
 bearings there. 
 
 "Poor Caspar!" said the young lady with a simper- 
 ing laugh. "I am very cruel I know, but I refuse to 
 marry until our home is ready to the last nail. And 
 when one is critical and artistic as we both are that 
 takes time ... an everlasting time. He would like 
 to marry at once and leave things to the family, but 
 that I positively refuse to do. Before marriage a 
 woman can get her way. After . . ." 
 
 Elsa gave the little shrug of her shoulders and toss 
 of her head that always made me wish to shake her 
 and tell her not to be so silly.
 
 244 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "When are ycu going to be married then?" I said 
 again, and this time she replied that it would be early 
 in July. 
 
 "You must come to the wedding," she said. "Don't 
 say that you have nothing suitable to wear." 
 
 I wasn't going to say it. I had the dress with me 
 that I had worn at Isabella's wedding and it was 
 much prettier and more uncommon than anything I 
 had seen in Hamburg so far. 
 
 "Perhaps I could lend or give you something !" said 
 Elsa. "There are one or two things I am wearing 
 now that I shall not take with me although they are 
 quite good still. Caspar does not like me in pink . . . 
 well, of course, he adores me in anything . . . but 
 he says pink is not my color." 
 
 "But Elsa!" exclaimed Trudi, "how could Sallee 
 wear one of your dresses? It would be too short and 
 much ach! much too broad!" 
 
 I didn't pinch Trudi again but looked at my watch 
 and said firmly but regretfully that visitors were only 
 allowed to stay till a certain hour and that they had 
 outstayed their time by five minutes. I felt very tired 
 when they had gone and altogether out of tune. I 
 wished I could see more clearly into the future and 
 know what I was going to do next. I should be here 
 for another month presumably, but where was I to 
 go after that? I should still be more or less crippled 
 and unable to travel or get about easily, the doctor 
 said. I could not imagine Frau Plessen putting up 
 with me in such a condition and though I knew Aunt 
 Susan would keep me as long as it was necessary I 
 hated saying, Give, Give forevermore. 
 
 I must have fallen asleep in that warm silent room
 
 IRON COUSINS 245 
 
 when the darkness came and I lay there alone; one 
 of those short heavy nightmarish sleeps that people 
 have by day when they are ill. At any rate I woke 
 with a start and such a presage of disaster over- 
 whelming me as I had never known before. I sat 
 up and listened. My heart beat against my side 
 violently and loudly. I was in a sweat. I wanted to 
 cry out but could not. The room was dark, I tell 
 you, and I did not turn on the light. But it was 
 not pitch dark. The faint lingering light of a Feb- 
 ruary afternoon and the reflected light from the snow- 
 covered roofs opposite my uncurtained windows 
 seemed to temper the darkness. At any rate I saw. 
 Saw quite plainly the figure of Aunt Susan standing 
 at the foot of the bed and looking at me. It is most 
 difficult to remember or describe exactly what I felt. 
 I know that directly I saw her I did not feel afraid, 
 nor did I think of her as an apparition. While she 
 was there I did not connect her presence with death 
 or grieve over her. Yet at first I did not speak or 
 feel surprised that she did not speak to me. I looked 
 at her quietly and gladly and she looked at me as 
 she sometimes used to do, with a depth of affection 
 it would have been against her code to put into words. 
 Then, as suddenly and strangely as she had come 
 she vanished, and when that happened I turned my 
 face to the wall. I suppose the nurse must have 
 found me later in a condition of collapse that alarmed 
 her and that, as I have no medical knowledge, I cannot 
 explain. At any rate I seem to have been in a stupor 
 from which they roused me with difficulty and I waked 
 from it to find Dr. Lehmann bending over me, anxious 
 and evidently puzzled.
 
 246 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I dreamed," I said, "I dreamed that my aunt stood 
 there at the foot of the bed." 
 
 The doctor was a kind simple little man who knew 
 all that can be known about broken legs but not much 
 about nerves. He went into a laborious dissertation 
 on the phenomena of dreams and the obvious connec- 
 tion of this one with the Schweinebraten I had eaten 
 for lunch and was put out when the nurse informed 
 him that I had not eaten any meal at all because I 
 had had no appetite. 
 
 "So! So!" he repeated, punctuating her reports 
 with nods of his owlish head and blinking at me with 
 his sandy eyelashes. "No appetite. That is bad. 
 Perhaps a little iron . . ." 
 
 It was later in the evening and I was alone again 
 when the telegram came from Rome to say that Aunt 
 Susan had died suddenly that afternoon at five o'clock. 
 I did not show it to the doctor till next morning. I 
 wanted to lie alone with sorrow and to think.
 
 XXXIII 
 
 THERE were two chairs in my little room at the 
 Klinik and the nurse had just placed one for 
 Frau Plessen and one for Frau Crefeld. The 
 two ladies had met on the door step and when my 
 door opened I saw Frau Plessen give the nurse a 
 slight shove in order that she might enter first, for 
 though she had married a Hamburg merchant Frau 
 Plessen had Junker blood in her veins on her mother's 
 side and the least drop of Junker blood makes it im- 
 possible for you to enter a room behind a Jewess. 
 I looked from one lady to the other and wished they 
 had not chosen to visit me on the same day and at 
 the same hour. It was not necessay to introduce them. 
 They had the bowing acquaintance that comes of 
 serving on the same committees and I knew that they 
 were both interested in a new creche and had been 
 at loggerheads over certain details of the arrange- 
 ments. I had not seen Frau Crefeld since she had 
 cold-shouldered me in the theater, but her manner to- 
 day was cordial again. She wore magnificent furs 
 and when she took off her coat because the room was 
 hot we saw a long pearl necklace that must have been 
 worth many thousands of pounds. Frau Plessen eyed 
 it sorely. She had put on complimentary mourning 
 because this was her first visit after Aunt Susan's 
 death and she came to condole. Frau Crefeld came 
 247
 
 248 IRON COUSINS 
 
 to condole, too, and said that she had brought a long 
 letter from Mrs. David which she proposed, presently, 
 to read to me. 
 
 "Miss Danvers has been very ill," said Frau 
 Plessen. 
 
 "Anyone can see that at a glance," said Frau Cre- 
 feld. "A serious accident like a broken leg . . ." 
 
 "Miss Danvers' illness had nothing to do with her 
 leg. That was a normal fracture and was healing in 
 a normal way. A broken leg is not an illness." 
 
 "In my opinion it is," said Frau Crefeld, getting 
 rather agitated and affronted by the Christian lady's 
 dictatorial tone. 
 
 Frau Plessen gave a low derisive snort and said 
 that as her father had been Hofrath to a Grand Duke, 
 she allowed herself to know the difference between 
 an illness and an injury. Miss Danvers had been in 
 robust health when she foolishly went on the ice be- 
 fore she could skate and, as was to be expected, broke 
 her leg. 
 
 "I was told on good authority that Miss Danvers 
 looked very suffering that day," said Frau Crefeld. 
 "We must also remember all that went before." 
 
 "What went before?" 
 
 "I understand that two of Gnddige Fran's children 
 had scarlet and that Miss Danvers was shut up with 
 them for months. Dr. Jastrow cannot say enough of 
 her devotion and her diligence in doing her duty." 
 
 "My dear Frau Crefeld, you evidently have no ex- 
 perience of illness," said Frau Plessen, smoothing her 
 big muff and looking at it as she spoke. "For weeks 
 after the scarlet is over and the children are 
 well . . ."
 
 IRON COUSINS 249 
 
 "Gisela had scarlet two years ago," interrupted Frau 
 Crefeld. "I nursed her through it myself. If I had 
 left her to others I should have considered myself a 
 raven mother." 
 
 "With an only child has there ubergespannte 
 ideas," said Frau Plessen, and then she addressed her- 
 self to me. 
 
 "I have just engaged a young person to look after 
 the children," she said. "You will understand that I 
 could not wait any longer. My niece's marriage makes 
 me extra busy just now. I am assisting the young 
 pair with their furniture as well as with the linen and 
 the trousseau. They want to get things in Berlin and 
 I must of course accompany them. For the children 
 I have taken a German this time with the highest 
 references. Her home is in Altona, but she speaks 
 perfect English." 
 
 "Can one learn perfect English in Altona?" said 
 Frau Crefeld. 
 
 "Certainly. In our schools languages are perfectly 
 taught," said Frau Plessen. 
 
 So far, since the condolences were done with I had 
 not spoken a word. The ladies had bristled and 
 sparred and stroked their muffs, and I had lain there 
 as stupid as a log wishing they would go. I was 
 not myself yet. After Aunt Susan died I felt so 
 lonely and miserable that I cried day and night and 
 made myself ill; more ill than a young woman with 
 a broken leg that is mending nicely need be. The 
 doctor had looked at me like a wise old owl, ad- 
 ministered tonics and asked me whether I was in the 
 habit of seeing things that were not there. The nurse 
 who attended to me said she had three aunts and de-
 
 250 IRON COUSINS 
 
 tested them all and that therefore she could not sym- 
 pathize fully with my grief. As if I wanted her to! 
 I wanted to be let alone and I did not care a button 
 whether I lived or died. But it is the business of 
 doctors and nurses to combat lethargy of that kind, 
 and in my case they succeeded. I was well enough 
 now, they said, to see visitors, and sure enough two 
 at a time had been let in on me. 
 
 "I wonder if Trudi will like the young person from 
 Altona?" I said because it was time for me to say 
 something. 
 
 "When I engage a young person for the children 
 I expect her to control them and keep them clean," 
 said Frau Plessen. "Everything else is of secondary 
 importance." 
 
 "The person from Altona will probably do all that 
 is required," said Frau Crefeld. "A young lady of 
 your position cannot be expected to wash children." 
 
 Frau Plessen looked at her watch. 
 
 "You will not be well enough to take a new situa- 
 tion for some time," she began. "When you think 
 of it I shall be glad to help you, but perhaps you intend 
 to return to England." 
 
 "I've made no plans yet," I said vaguely. 
 
 "Miss Danvers will not think of another situation 
 either here or in England," said Frau Crefeld. "Her 
 aunt has left her everything." 
 
 "How do you know?" I said in surprise, for I had 
 heard nothing about it yet. 
 
 "Mrs. David tells me so in her letter. She went 
 to your home and an old servant there asked for your 
 address. She said your aunt's solicitor wanted it. So 
 Mrs. David went to see the solicitor herself and wrote 
 to me immediately after. You will probably hear
 
 IRON COUSINS 251 
 
 from him to-morrow. Your aunt has left you all 
 her things and about six hundred a year." 
 
 "Had she as much as that?" I said, trying to take 
 the news in but only half succeeding. It was very 
 good news of course, but I was still too unhappy about 
 the way it came to rejoice over it. 
 
 "Six hundred a year is not a large income in Lon- 
 don amongst people of your aunt's standing," said 
 Frau Crefeld. "It sounds well in marks. Twelve 
 thousand a year! But in pounds sterling! However, 
 Mrs. David says that if you choose to sell your aunt's 
 pictures you could increase your income considerably. 
 She seems to have had one or two of great value . . ." 
 
 "But if your aunt could afford to keep you at home 
 why did she send you to Hamburg to be a children's 
 governess?" cried Frau Plessen. 
 
 "She didn't send me. She advised me strongly not 
 to go," I explained. 
 
 "Then why did you come?" 
 
 "I wanted to travel. I would rather see the world 
 as a tramp than not see it at all." 
 
 "Absurd !" said Frau Plessen. So I told her about 
 the Japanese general, but she did not seem interested 
 in him. She said the Japanese were yellow men and 
 uncivilized, but that she could easily understand an 
 English girl wishing to enjoy the spectacle of German 
 Kultur for a time and taking any opportunity that 
 offered. There was no need to bolster up a laudable 
 and natural desire like that with the example of a 
 Stinkaffe. 
 
 Then she got up to go and when the door shut 
 behind her Frau Crefeld heaved a sigh of relief. 
 
 "An insufferable woman !" she exclaimed. "Ar- 
 rogant and disagreeable in the highest degree. How
 
 252 IRON COUSINS 
 
 have you endured life with her all these months?" 
 
 "I never set eyes on her from the end of August 
 till the middle of December," I said. 
 
 "Where were you then before the children had 
 scarlet?" 
 
 "I was by myself in rooms." 
 
 One of those uncomfortable silences followed when 
 two people are thinking of the same thing and want 
 to discuss it but do not know how to begin. 
 
 "Frau Plessen should be ashamed of herself," said 
 Frau Crefeld, taking the plunge suddenly. "She 
 should have explained to you that you were too young 
 to live alone in such a way." 
 
 "She did say something about it," I rejoined. "She 
 wanted me to board with Fraulein Popper." 
 
 "That old witch ! Na ! That could not be ex- 
 pected of you. But you might have gone to some 
 comfortable Pension." 
 
 "I had very little money." 
 
 "But the Plessens have money and to spare. They 
 brought you from England. It was their duty to 
 look after you." 
 
 "I'm old enough to look after myself." 
 
 Frau Crefeld took up her pearl necklace in one hand 
 and looked earnestly at a large pear-shaped pearl 
 at its apex. 
 
 "My Miss Campbell has a bad tongue," she said. 
 "There is no doubt of it. The poor creature is plain 
 and poor and elderly, and she has a bad tongue when 
 anyone young and charming is in question. Unfor- 
 tunately she found me a room maid who came from 
 Frau Plessen and she has wormed things out of that 
 girl . . . things I can hardly believe."
 
 IRON COUSINS 253 
 
 "I expect they are all true," I said airily. 
 
 "True?" 
 
 "If they are about Herr Heiling and me. He came 
 to see me several times in the Melkstrasse and I spent 
 a Sunday with him at Griinbeck. Mr. Hope saw us 
 there." 
 
 "Miss Campbell says she saw him twice at the Jung- 
 fernstieg . . . once late at night." 
 
 "Not very late." 
 
 "The children were in bed." 
 
 "Well . . . children . . ." 
 
 "The young man quite lost his head and accused 
 Miss Campbell of spying." 
 
 "It looked like it ... her coming back I mean." 
 
 "She had forgotten her glove." 
 
 "You know the whole story." 
 
 Frau Crefeld looked pensively at the pear-shaped 
 pearl and relapsed into silence again. 
 
 "I suppose," she said after a time, "I suppose the 
 young man fell in love with you." 
 
 "It looked like it," I admitted. 
 
 "But it was impossible for him to marry a girl 
 without money. His father would not have allowed 
 it." 
 
 "So he said." 
 
 "But now you have money . . . money enough. 
 Fraulein Mieding has less than you." 
 
 I wondered how she knew but she evidently did 
 know. 
 
 "It's too late," I said. 
 
 "Perhaps your heart was not deeply engaged," she 
 suggested, and she meant so well that I wished I knew 
 how to answer her.
 
 XXXIV 
 
 THE spring passed, the summer came and I stayed 
 on in Hamburg. I stayed partly because I 
 could not trust my game leg to behave as a 
 leg should on a journey, especially at those awkward 
 moments when there is a scrimmage on a gangway 
 or when the train stands so high above the platform 
 that no one could board it without a skip and a jump. 
 I stayed on, too, because I dreaded going back to the 
 lonely house at Chelsea and because I liked the idea 
 of another summer in Germany. I had not made up 
 my mind yet where I should spend it and I had not 
 taken a ticket for Bayreuth as I should have liked to 
 do, because the Crefelds were going and would have 
 been pained to see me there when I was in mourning 
 for an aunt who had been a mother to me. Frau 
 Crefeld said that if it had been an ordinary aunt it 
 would not have mattered, but the memory of one who 
 had brought me up and left me comfortably pro- 
 vided for deserved to be honored for at least a year. 
 I did not argue with her. People have their own 
 ideas and ways of honoring the dead and mine have 
 nothing to do with the trappings of woe or with 
 abstinence from such a solace to the spirit as music 
 is at its best. But I could not have gone to Bayreuth 
 with them knowing that they disapproved, and I was 
 254
 
 IRON COUSINS 255 
 
 not inclined to go alone. When I left the Klinik 
 I went to a Pension known to Frau Crefeld and kept 
 by two pleasant capable women who gave me a room 
 facing the Alster and respected my desire to be left 
 to myself. I appeared at dinner and supper and im- 
 proved myself by talking German to my fellow 
 boarders on the rare occasions when they were not 
 improving themselves by talking English to me. My 
 opportunity came when a family of energetic and 
 determined Americans arrived, because they said that 
 the presence of an Englishwoman upset their plans 
 and that if a word of English was spoken at meals 
 they would leave the Pension next day. 
 
 "That suits me exactly," I said. "I want to talk 
 German." 
 
 "Real English Egoismus!" said the Germans. 
 "Why should you profit by us when we prefer to profit 
 by you?" 
 
 I should have given in or compromised but the 
 Americans pointed out that they had crossed the At- 
 lantic in order to study German in a German city. 
 They were there to be instructed and not to instruct. 
 When the Germans wanted to talk English they could 
 go to London or New York. 
 
 "Paris first," said one of them, "then London. 
 Then, when the time comes, New York." 
 
 That was in June, before the Serajevo murders 
 and before there was any definite date for war fixed 
 in ordinary German minds. But the idea of war was 
 everlastingly present to them and the idea, too, of 
 English hostility. I never joined in political talk if 
 I could help it, but from the day I landed in Germany 
 I became aware, with foreboding, of political animus.
 
 256 IRON COUSINS 
 
 Even those Germans who were friendly would make 
 a point of the friendliness being extended willingly 
 to the individual but never to the nation. Some of 
 them could never leave the subject alone and against 
 my will I found myself trying to defend Edward 
 VII, our colonial system and the freedom of the seas. 
 Much I knew about them. The Germans believed 
 that they knew everything. The ordinary German is 
 as full of knowledge as an encyclopedia, but it is 
 mostly knowledge with a bias. He is schooled but 
 not educated politically or socially ! and so, although 
 he is stuffed with information, he as often as not 
 lacks wisdom and judgment. Still, in those days what 
 Germans said about Edward VII did not weigh on 
 my mind, and I changed the subject when I 
 could and talked of summer resorts. To talk of any- 
 thing assisted my uncertain cases and genders. I had 
 a little conversation sometimes with the young person 
 from Altona when she brought Olga and Trudi to 
 see me. She could not speak a word of English and 
 I was glad to find had no feelings about Edward VII. 
 Blouses were her main interest in life and I won her 
 everlasting friendship by giving her my colored ones 
 and some of my colored clothes. 
 
 "But you have luck!" she said, fixing a pair of 
 round blue eyes on me wistfully. "To be so rich that 
 you can throw away these beautiful things." 
 
 I could not discuss my luck with her or deny it, 
 but the children seemed to interpret my silence and 
 spoke for me. 
 
 "Poor Sallee !" said Olga. "She weeps for her aunt 
 and she has a mended leg. I am sorry for her." 
 
 "I, too !" sighed Trudi. "Very sorry !"
 
 IRON COUSINS 257 
 
 She paused, as Trudi did pause when some idea was 
 fermenting in her mind that she found it difficult to 
 express. 
 
 "Since the Hebe Gott wanted your aunt himself I 
 think he might have called her to heaven a little 
 sooner," she said pensively. 
 
 The young person from Altona jumped and so 
 did I. 
 
 "Aber, Trudi!" the young person began. "What 
 thoughts for such a child !" 
 
 "It is Caspar's thought, not mine," proceeded 
 Trudi. "Yesterday I said to him 'Sallee is rich now. 
 Why do you not marry her instead of Elsa?' and he 
 said it was the fault of the Hebe Gott who should 
 have made up His mind sooner that He needed Sallee's 
 aunt in heaven. He told me that I might say this to 
 Sallee but not to Elsa because Elsa was now his 
 Braut. Poor Caspar! Shall I greet him from you, 
 Sallee?" 
 
 "We will have tea now," I said, for the children 
 had come to tea by my invitation and I had added 
 all the cakes they liked best to the meal provided by 
 the boarding house. I hoped cream tarts with hazel 
 nuts in them would divert Trudi's ideas, fixed as they 
 usually were. 
 
 For a time the spell worked but just when we had 
 eaten all the cakes we could and were turning our 
 thoughts to fondants the door opened and Miss Camp- 
 bell appeared with Gisela. I had to introduce the 
 young person from Altona, to find seats for the new- 
 comers, to invite them to tea, to ask for more cups 
 and plates. 
 
 "We did not come to tea," said Miss Campbell, look-
 
 25& IRON COUSINS 
 
 ing down her nose at the young person from Altona 
 and giving her the chilliest kind of bow. 
 
 "But now that we are here ..." pleaded Gisela, 
 her eyes on the cakes. Trudi handed her a heaped up 
 plate. 
 
 "Take," she said, and Gisela took. 
 
 Miss Campbell had apparently forgotten the dis- 
 tressful moment when she foreswore my acquaintance 
 and was accused by Caspar of spying, or she remem- 
 bered and forgave. Anyhow she had changed her 
 mind and on the rare occasions when we met behaved 
 as if nothing had happened. I had only seen her 
 once or twice lately when she came with messages 
 from Frau Crefeld and then not for long. To-day 
 she said that Frau Crefeld would call for me in her 
 car to-morrow and would either take me shopping or 
 for a country drive, whichever I preferred. The 
 young person from Altona looked at me amiably but 
 enviously. A little while ago I had occupied her 
 place in the Plessen household and now I sat, as idle 
 as I pleased in a Pension on the Alster, and was in- 
 vited to drive with a wealthy Frau Crefeld in her 
 car. Such changes may the wheel of Fortune bring 
 to those who are lucky. 
 
 "If you have no engagements to-morrow and can 
 be ready at ten, Frau Crefeld will take us to Griin- 
 beck," said Miss Campbell. "She asked me to find 
 out if you would dislike that." 
 
 I know my voice did not betray me. I said that 
 I had no engagements and could be easily ready by 
 ten. But the suggestion of Griinbeck made so sud- 
 denly and unexpectedly did strike a chord in my 
 memory that I suppose was reflected somehow in my
 
 IRON COUSINS 259 
 
 face. Perhaps I colored a little; perhaps I started 
 ever so slightly. At any rate when I looked at Miss 
 Campbell I saw that she had the smile on her lips 
 and the gleam in her eyes that meant mischief. 
 
 "You know Griinbeck?" she said. "Perhaps some 
 other place would be more agreeable to you." 
 
 "Not at all," I said, and if I spoke with hauteur 
 it was no more than Miss Campbell deserved. Soon 
 after, saying that Gisela was always sick after eat- 
 ing cakes from a Conditorei she got up to go. 
 
 "I suppose that you are very busy with preparations 
 for your cousin's wedding," she said to Olga, and 
 Olga launched into a voluble account of the prepara- 
 tions and of the bridesmaids' dresses and of the 
 bride's trousseau. Miss Campbell sat down again. 
 
 "Six dozen chemises has Elsa," said Olga boast- 
 fully. 
 
 "But only two dozen nightgowns," said Trudi. 
 "She wanted more but my Mamma says in these days 
 two dozen is enough." 
 
 "Every day come presents." 
 
 "Five clocks have come, and silver, pictures, books, 
 jewelry ... it makes one long to be married . . . 
 directly I have been confirmed I shall marry. That is 
 sure." 
 
 "I am going to marry Mr. Hope when I am old 
 enough," said Gisela. "I have told him so." 
 
 To my surprise Miss Campbell simpered in a self- 
 conscious way and blushed. 
 
 "Mr. Hope has other views, my child," she said. 
 
 "We all know Mr. Hope," said Olga. "He is com- 
 ing to Elsa's wedding. He has sent her a table from
 
 2bo IRON COUSINS 
 
 India, a carved one. It will stand in her salon with 
 a palm on it." 
 
 "Is Mr. Hope in Hamburg again?" I asked. 
 
 "He has been here for weeks," said Miss Camp- 
 bell with the same little arch smile that I had noticed 
 before. What could it portend? As I was looking 
 at her and wondering, the young person from Altona 
 extracted from her blouse a large crumbled envelope 
 that she presented to me with apologies. She should 
 have remembered it before. It contained an invita- 
 tion to the marriage of Elsa Mieding and Caspar 
 Heiling. Miss Campbell eyed the printed card as it 
 lay on the table, and then in English she spoke to me 
 in an undertone : 
 
 "They know nothing then? You have kept your 
 secret?" 
 
 "I have no secret," I said. 
 
 "Ach ! with me you may pour out clear water. I 
 can understand what you are suffering. It must have 
 been a terrible disillusionment. If only you had 
 listened to me! I remember telling you what his 
 reputation was. Do you still see him occasionally?" 
 
 "If you mean Herr Heiling, I've not seen him since 
 Christmas," I said audibly. I hated whispered con- 
 versations.
 
 XXXV 
 
 1WAS sitting alone that evening with my hands 
 before me, rather tired and wishing it was bed- 
 time. But it was not dark yet and I could sec 
 the evening traffic beginning on the Alster. The idea 
 of going to Griinbeck to-morrow with Frau Crefeld 
 had revived my memories of the Sunday I spent there 
 nearly ten months ago, memories that troubled me 
 vaguely now because they reminded me of a fever that 
 had spent itself. However, I had the sense even then 
 to see that it is better to recover from a fever than 
 not to recover. I decided on thinking it over that 
 evening that my pride had been wounded and my 
 heart bruised but not broken. My heart was evidently 
 of a tough constitution and the spermaceti of anger 
 had healed it. Anger and time. Through the mists 
 of pain and sorrow, through the slow succession of 
 idle convalescent months, through the gathering 
 knowledge of my altered circumstances, I envisaged 
 my short excursion into the realm of love and won- 
 dered how it was I had stumbled over its borders 
 and come safely back again. I had not seen Caspar 
 Heiling since Christmas or heard from him, so I took 
 for granted that he had recovered, too. I paid no 
 attention to Trudi's chatter. 
 
 I was by way of receiving my visitors in my own 
 room which was a large one with a bedstead tucked 
 361
 
 262 IRON COUSINS 
 
 away in an alcove, but hitherto, except for the doctor, 
 my visitors had all been women and children: mem- 
 bers in fact of the two households with which I was 
 friendly. However, as I was sitting by the open 
 window in the dusk of the June evening the door was 
 thrown open and closed again behind Caspar who 
 came quickly towards me and said in an agitated 
 manner : 
 
 "I could bear it no longer. I had to come." 
 
 This did not sound like the complete recovery that 
 was desirable nor did he look like it. His eyes were 
 miserable and his expression was furtive and restless, 
 but his eyes devoured me so greedily that I turned 
 away from them. 
 
 "You wear mourning," he murmured. "I knew it 
 and yet I had not pictured you in it. You are pale. 
 You have suffered since I saw you. I thought your 
 image was graven on my heart, but now that I am 
 with you again I know that I have only carried a 
 shadow of it with me. You are more beautiful than 
 I remembered, more touching, more enchanting . . ." 
 
 He talked like that. I wished he wouldn't but he 
 took me so by surprise that he got a good deal said 
 before I tried to stop him. 
 
 "These remarks should be addressed to Fraulein 
 Mieding," I suggested lamely, when he stopped for 
 breath, but he merely said Tcha and went on again. 
 It reminded me of an explosion of pent-up steam that 
 has to have its way and that gets quieter by degrees. 
 He got quieter by degrees, but not till he had told me 
 a great deal about his love, his sufferings, and said a 
 great many things he ought not to have said. I did 
 not want to listen to him, but I could not send him
 
 IRON COUSINS 263 
 
 away without a scene. I sat there at first saying very 
 little and wondering at my own deadness. His fire 
 did not kindle me although it distressed me. 'I was 
 sorry for him because I could see that he was dis- 
 satisfied and wretched but the futility of such an out- 
 burst seemed to me pitiable, and at last I said so. 
 
 "The meat must be baked for your wedding-table," 
 I reminded him. "Your house is furnished . . ." 
 
 "The bed is made and I must lie on it," he inter- 
 rupted bitterly. "But how if I will not ?" 
 
 "You are bound in honor ..." I began. 
 
 "I know it. I have struggled as no man ever did 
 yet. It is stronger than honor." 
 
 "It should not be." 
 
 "How can you know? You are a child. You are 
 not aflame yet as I am ... but if I could get you 
 ... if I could teach you . . ." 
 
 "Do you think I would?" I exclaimed indignantly. 
 "Do you think I have no honor?" 
 
 He had not sat down yet. He had slid into the 
 room with his old sideways gait and now stood star- 
 ing at me, his greenish eyes dark and vehement, his 
 mustache bitten and hungry looking. 
 
 "We must talk things out," he said, and took a 
 chair close by the long one on which I often lay to 
 rest my leg. 
 
 "We have not a single word to say to each other," 
 I answered. "I have an invitation to your marriage 
 with Elsa Mieding." 
 
 "But it has not taken place yet." 
 
 "It will take place." 
 
 "That depends entirely on you." 
 
 "You rave."
 
 264 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I have raved ... by day and by night . . . ever 
 since we parted. Now I am calm." 
 
 He did not look it. He had all the appearance of 
 a man whose nerves are at breaking point and who 
 has worked himself up to take some plunge that means 
 kill or cure in his history. 
 
 "There is still time," he began. "Nothing is needed 
 but courage that a man must have." 
 
 I did not say a word but I thought my thoughts. 
 I imagine they expressed themselves without words 
 as thoughts will at times, for he looked at me in 
 gloomy silence and then said : 
 
 "I was not my own master. You know how I was 
 situated." 
 
 "Has your situation altered then?" I asked. "Are 
 you more independent of your father than you were?" 
 
 He looked at me oddly. 
 
 "It would be a nine days' wonder," he answered, 
 as it seemed to me, irrelevantly. "We should have 
 something to face, I admit. But that kind of thing 
 is soon lived down even in Hamburg. When people 
 see you they will understand." 
 
 "What are you proposing?" I said bluntly. 
 
 "To break off my engagement with Elsa and marry 
 you," he said with equal curtness. 
 
 "Have you told Elsa what you want to do?" 
 
 "Not yet. Such things are best written. I should 
 go away for a time . . . and if only I could persuade 
 you to come with me . . ." 
 
 "You would hardly need to write then. Things 
 would almost explain themselves." 
 
 "Just what I thought. But we would be married 
 as soon as possible ... in England if you wished."
 
 IRON COUSINS 265 
 
 "But I thought you could not marry me without 
 your father's consent and that he would not give it." 
 
 "My dear child, if I had known last autumn what 
 I know now . . ." 
 
 "What do you know now?" 
 
 "Isn't it rather a want of tact to ask? Must I dot 
 the i's? Why did you come amongst us as a girl 
 without money or family?" 
 
 "Because I had no money. As for my family, your 
 uncle saw Aunt Susan." 
 
 "All this misery might have been spared to us. If 
 I had only known . . ." 
 
 "It does seem to have been badly managed," I said, 
 and looked not at him but at some rings of Aunt 
 Susan's that had been sent to me from Rome. One 
 was of diamonds, one of emeralds and another of 
 diamonds and pearls. I had known them all my life 
 and wore them when they came to me because they 
 reminded me of her. 
 
 "You are not the same," he went on discontentedly. 
 "Money has changed you. Last September . . ." 
 
 "I'm going to Griinbeck to-morrow with Frau Cre- 
 feld," I said. "We are to have lunch in that hotel." 
 
 "If I had asked you to marry me then you would 
 have said, Yes." 
 
 "I'm afraid I should." 
 
 "Joyfully?" 
 
 "I suppose when one says, Yes, one is joyful," I 
 agreed with some hesitation. 
 
 "I offer you everything to-day; everything I have, 
 everything I am." 
 
 "Elsa stands between us." 
 
 "Elsa will weep a little and then she will marry
 
 266 IRON COUSINS 
 
 someone else. She has not a deep nature. I am not 
 necessary to her." 
 
 The clang of the supper bell interrupted us and 
 reminded me that I was hungry. 
 
 "Supper!" I said. 
 
 He seemed not to hear. At any rate he did not 
 attempt to go. 
 
 "If I go straight from here to Elsa and break off 
 with her will you marry me?" he said. 
 
 "No." 
 
 "Why not ? Why will you not do in June that which 
 you were ready to do in September? I have not 
 changed. Why should you?" 
 
 "I haven't the same opinion of you as I had then," 
 I began, thinking that he would never go until I had 
 administered some home truths. 
 
 "What have opinions to do with love?" 
 
 "You behaved badly." 
 
 "I behaved as I could. I always meant well by 
 you." 
 
 "If I had listened to you ... if I had been more 
 in your power than I was . . . still more weak and 
 silly than I was . . ." 
 
 "But that is past history. Why rake it up? To- 
 day I will do anything you please . . . that I can do. 
 If you would rather we waited and announced our 
 engagement in the autumn ..." 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 "You are wasting your time," I said. "I refuse 
 to marry you." 
 
 "On what grounds? I can give you a great deal. 
 A little while ago I was agreeable to you." 
 
 He wearied me and I was hungry.
 
 IRON COUSINS 267 
 
 "Go back to Elsa and be good to her," I said, getting 
 up. "She is too good for you." 
 
 He followed me across the room and seized my 
 arm so that I had to stop and listen while he spoke 
 fiercely and angrily close to my ear. 
 
 "Sallee . . . wait . . . listen ... I can't live with- 
 out you. When I see you I am mad for you, as I 
 was before. Sallee, take me!" 
 
 "Too late !" I said. 
 
 "If you refuse I will shoot myself; I swear I will. 
 Perhaps I will shoot you, too." 
 
 The threat left me as cold as his wooing did. I 
 was not alarmed either for him or for myself, but I 
 was glad that the door opened to admit the maid who 
 waited at table. She came to ask me if I had heard 
 the supper bell and whether I wished a cover to be 
 laid for the gentleman. 
 
 "Will you stay to supper?" I asked over my 
 shoulder, for I had taken care to go ahead and reach 
 the door. 
 
 "Yes, I will," he said in English. "Then we can 
 talk afterwards." 
 
 "Afterwards I shall sit in the reception room with 
 the other guests until I go to bed." 
 
 "Is that what you always do?" 
 
 "I shall do it to-night." 
 
 "Then I will come again another day." 
 
 "I will not see you again. There is nothing more 
 to be said." 
 
 "That is your last word?" 
 
 The maid had gone her way and we stood outside 
 my room now by ourselves. But at any moment other 
 people might have appeared and I felt as safe from
 
 268 IRON COUSINS 
 
 his transports as I should have done on the high roa3. 
 He no doubt knew this for he spoke in a whisper and 
 had a baffled air that I observed with some amuse- 
 ment and satisfaction. 
 "My last word!" I said. 
 
 "I hope that some day you will suffer as I do now." 
 
 I left him standing in the hall and went into the 
 
 Speisesaal It had been an agitating half hour, but I 
 
 ate my supper in a mood that was nearer comedy than 
 
 tragedy.
 
 XXXVI 
 
 WHILE I ate my supper I thought of all the 
 things I ought to have said to Caspar. I 
 had let him off too easily. I ought to have 
 painted his conduct in such colors that he blushed for 
 it. I ought to have been eloquent and scathing. Of 
 course the difficulty was the usual one in human 
 affairs : the mixture of motives, the mixture of good 
 and bad in his procedure. His passion, or his affec- 
 tion, call it which you will, for me, was genuine. He 
 really was over head and ears in love with me as the 
 saying is. But he had not been man enough last 
 autumn to risk his father's wealth for my sake, and 
 he had been fool enough or villain enough to think 
 he could inveigle me into one of those unions that can 
 only end in misery and disgrace for people like me. 
 I have no wish to lay down the law in this matter. 
 I know that some of the finest love stories of the world 
 are stories of love that has broken all laws, yet re- 
 mained on the highest plane of tragedy and beauty. 
 But Caspar and I were not born to such great issues. 
 I had been brought up within boundaries that he 
 asked me to break, and he damned himself in my 
 eyes when he asked me. I told you to begin with 
 that I was old-fashioned. Perhaps you would like to 
 call me prudish and namby-pamby, too. If you are 
 really advanced and to-morrowish you probably will. 
 But however to-morrowish you are you should live 
 269
 
 270 IRON COUSINS 
 
 and let live. We can't all be wantons if the world 
 is to go round sanely; and there is still room in it, 
 I firmly believe, for people who keep the law their 
 fathers have made for them even at some cost to 
 themselves. I can't claim merit in this way for I 
 was never tempted to break the law. My bourgeoise 
 soul was up in arms at the idea of doing it and my 
 poor little flame of love flickered out in a night at 
 the first breath of what I called insult and he called 
 freedom. I could not forgive him for having thought 
 that I would descend to be his mistress, and he could 
 not understand that my disillusionment was lasting. 
 I hoped I had seen the last of him, and though I had 
 been more stirred by his appeal than I had allowed 
 him to guess I did not regret my refusal or fear any 
 violent action on his part. He would rage but he 
 would eat his dinner; he would mope but he would 
 marry Elsa on the appointed day and make her a 
 passably good husband. He would find, that she could 
 hold her own in spite of her sentimental ways, and 
 he might find that she was an admirable housekeeper. 
 In that case I saw him settling down contentedly to 
 a life of comfortable food, purple and fine linen, get- 
 ting fat towards middle age, fathering a brood of 
 healthy children and occasionally remembering me as 
 a youthful folly at which his wisdom wondered. I 
 saw all wrong because I did not see as a prophet and 
 had no ears for the storm gathering around me. 
 
 I found next day that Miss Campbell and Gisela 
 were going to Griinbeck with us and that Mr. Hope 
 had arranged to meet us there. He had proposed it 
 himself, Frau Crefeld said, and she was rather sur- 
 prised that he could find the time during the worka-
 
 IRON COUSINS 271 
 
 day week. I happened to look at Miss Campbell when 
 Frau Crefeld said this and I was surprised to see a 
 little self-conscious smile on her lips which I could 
 only interpret one way. She evidently thought she 
 knew why Mr. Hope was giving himself this holiday 
 and was entertained by our obtuseness. I noticed, too, 
 that she was dressed with unusual, but not quite suc- 
 cessful coquetry. She wore a natural colored tussore 
 that was too much like her sallow skin to be becom- 
 ing, and a hat on which large crimson cherries bobbed 
 with every movement. Her gloves were of yellow 
 cotton and her large flat feet looked larger than they 
 need have done because her shoes and stockings were 
 of the peculiarly ugly yellowish tan so much worn in 
 Germany. I should not have thought twice about 
 the failure of her clothes if she had not been so dis- 
 agreeable and conceited, but when she said that no 
 Englishwoman knew how to dress and that she had 
 studied and acquired the art in Paris it seemed to me 
 that the gods had struck her with blindness. It was 
 so hot that I had put on the white embroidered muslin 
 that Frau Plessen had once thought over fine for a 
 governess and with it I wore a plain shady black hat 
 and black ribbons. 
 
 "I never choose white," she said. "After eighteen 
 it is a mistake. 
 
 "I mean to wear it for years to come," I answered. 
 
 "That bears out what I say: Englishwomen have 
 not the art of clothes. I am pure English myself, but 
 I have lived so much in Paris that I may call myself 
 French, too." 
 
 "When you have been long enough in Hamburg 
 shall you call yourself pure German?" I asked.
 
 272 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "Certainly not. Besides I shall probably not be long 
 in Hamburg." 
 
 Frau Crefeld was quite overcome by the heat and 
 nearly asleep. Her eyes were shut and her parasol 
 so unsteady in her hand that it descended on me every 
 few minutes and was righted by our combined efforts 
 because she said she would get sunstroke without it. 
 Gisela looked sleepy, too, so that on the whole Miss 
 Campbell and I were left to entertain each other. But 
 Frau Crefeld seemed to prick up her ears suddenly 
 at the idea of losing her daughter's governess and 
 said in a lazy murmur: 
 
 "Are you hankering after Paris again, Rebekah? 
 Perhaps when autumn comes we might find something 
 for you there ?" 
 
 Miss Campbell turned red, the angry red of a per- 
 son who hears herself called Rebekah when she 
 wishes to be Rosamund. But she made no audible 
 reply and as Frau Crefeld had not opened her eyes 
 she could not see the signs of Rebekah's anger or the 
 acidity of her smile. 
 
 Mr. Hope stood just outside the hotel at Griinbeck 
 when we drew up there and came forward to help 
 us out of the car. I had not seen him since that 
 dreadful Sunday when I had wept in his presence 
 and he had advised me to go back to England at once. 
 I had often thought of him, but I was prepared to 
 find that if he remembered me at all it was with 
 disapproval. He would be civil but chilly and im- 
 passive as he had been before when we met. I looked 
 at him as he helped me out of the car and saw to 
 my surprise and relief that he did remember me and 
 that if he disapproved he was not going to show it.
 
 IRON COUSINS 273 
 
 Appearances are deceptive but he seemed delighted 
 to see me again, so much so that he helped Miss Camp- 
 bell and Gisela rather hurriedly out of the car and 
 came up to me while Frau Crefeld was giving her 
 chauffeur her orders. 
 
 "So you're still here," he said. 
 
 I said I was. We exchanged a few further re- 
 marks, equally intelligent, agreed that the weather 
 was warm, and side by side followed Frau Crefeld 
 into the hotel where we found a table ready for us 
 in a shady corner of the room and near an open 
 window. Frau Crefeld took a chair at one end and 
 told Mr. Hope to sit on her right. As he did so 
 Miss Campbell looked at him with a simpering smile 
 and said; 
 
 Vis-a-vis 
 
 1st besser als dicht dabei, 
 
 pronouncing dabei in the Low German way as if it 
 rhymed with bee, and took the chair opposite him 
 and on Frau Crefeld's left. Mr. Hope made no re- 
 sponse. I doubt if he understood. At any rate he 
 behaved as if he had not heard and turning to Frau 
 Crefeld he asked her what she would like to drink. 
 She asked him to order some light wine and when it 
 came the host who brought it placed the bottle before 
 him and left him to pour it out. He filled Frau Cre- 
 feld's glass and was about to fill Miss Campbell's 
 when she drew her glass aside so unexpectedly that 
 he only just saved the wine from going on the table. 
 "If you insist . . ." she said. "Otherwise . . ." 
 she gave a little shudder to express, I suppose, her 
 dislike of wine.
 
 274 IRON COUSINS 
 
 He did not insist. He asked me if I would have 
 some and I said I would if I might have some of the 
 siphon of seltzer water ordered for Gisela with it. 
 He mixed the wine and water for me and then filled 
 his own glass. 
 
 "Am I not allowed to drink then on this hot day ?" 
 said Miss Campbell in an arch manner. 
 
 "The siphon is close to you," said Frau Crefeld. 
 
 "But I want wine and water. I want Mr. Hope 
 to mix it," she said pettishly. 
 
 Mr. Hope did as he was asked in a wooden way 
 and the meal proceeded harmoniously, although it 
 was impossible not to see that Miss Campbell was 
 throwing herself at Mr. Hope with immense energy 
 and that he showed no inclination to catch her. This 
 spectacle always seems to me more painful than 
 ridiculous and I dislike watching it. So when lunch 
 was over and a little walk was proposed I managed 
 to stay behind with Frau Crefeld who found a shady 
 summer-house with moderately comfortable seats in 
 it and promptly fell asleep. I felt rather sleepy, too, 
 and was listening to summer sounds with drowsy en- 
 joyment when approaching footsteps waked me and 
 I saw Mr. Hope alone. 
 
 "Where are the others?" I asked. 
 
 "They have gone for a walk," he said, and sat 
 down. 
 
 I wondered how he had managed to get away, but 
 I could not ask him. I thought he looked a little 
 ruffled. 
 
 "It is too hot for walks," he went on. "I should 
 not have started if I had known that you were com- 
 ing here."
 
 IRON COUSINS 275 
 
 "I can't walk much yet," I said. 
 
 We sat there undisturbed for about twenty minutes 
 enjoying the shade and quietness. He asked me a 
 little about my accident and I asked him about his time 
 in India. Frau Crefeld was fast asleep and did not 
 disturb us. It was when we saw Miss Campbell and 
 Gisela returning to us that he surprised me. 
 
 "Where are you staying?" he asked, and I told him. 
 
 "I should like to come and see you," he said, and 
 as I felt pleased I dare say I looked pleased. 
 
 "When can I come?" he went on, but before I could 
 gather myself together and suggest a day and a time 
 Miss Campbell and her charge had joined us. She 
 looked like vinegar and said that the sun had given 
 her a headache. 
 
 "I shall return by train," she announced in a pugna- 
 cious voice. "Nothing will induce me to return in 
 an open car in the heat of the day. What train are 
 you going by, Mr. Hope?"
 
 XXXVII 
 
 I WAS not in any way to blame for what fol- 
 lowed, at least not actively to blame. I sat 
 there and did not speak, yet Miss Campbell's 
 wrath glanced from Frau Crefeld who made the ar- 
 rangement that provoked her and lighted on me. 
 
 Frau Crefeld waked suddenly from her siesta, 
 blinked at us amiably, told Gisela she looked tired and 
 asked Miss Campbell why she had kept the child out 
 in this heat. Frau Crefeld's manner with Rebekah- 
 Rosamund always amused me. She was kind and 
 even long suffering but she had a way of riding 
 rough-shod over Rebekah-Rosamund's pretensions that 
 must have been galling and which I wondered to see 
 accepted submissively although I knew how hollow 
 the pretensions were, how well the young lady knew on 
 which side her bread was buttered and how much she 
 liked butter with her bread. 
 
 "What are you saying about a train?" asked Frau 
 Crefeld. 
 
 "I was saying that I would rather go home by train 
 if it can be arranged," said Miss Campbell. "The 
 heat has given me a headache." 
 
 "By all means," said Frau Crefeld. "You can take 
 the one that leaves at four o'clock." 
 
 Then, turning to Mr. Hope, she said: 
 
 "Will you come back with us in the car?" 
 
 "I shall be delighted," said Mr. Hope. 
 276
 
 IRON COUSINS 277 
 
 Miss Campbell looked furious and opened a little 
 bag she carried only to snap it to again with a vicious 
 click. She did this three times in succession and at 
 last Frau Crefeld said: 
 
 "How fidgety you are, Rebekah! Are you looking 
 for anything in that bag? I shall give you money for 
 your journey unless Mr. Hope has a return ticket that 
 you can use." 
 
 "I have a first class return," said Mr. Hope, and 
 took a ticket from his waistcoat pocket which he 
 offered to Miss Campbell. She took it from him with 
 a glance that I hoped for her sake he did not notice. 
 It gave her away and as far as I could see he was 
 not taking any. When I use a dreadful slang phrase 
 like that I always think of Aunt Susan and of the 
 correct English in which she would have expressed 
 the same sentiment. She would have said that the 
 gentleman made no visible response to the lady's ad- 
 vances, but even Aunt Susan got her dander up at 
 times and I remember her describing Ann in Man 
 and Superman as a brazen hussy. Aunt Susan's idea 
 was that the men should do the courting and that a 
 self-respecting woman would rather die of love than 
 confess to it unasked. My idea is that these affairs 
 are too diverse and complicated to be brought under 
 one clear-cut general rule. Take Othello for instance. 
 He did not speak till Desdemona had given him a 
 hint. Men are kittle cattle. 
 
 But no doubt Othello had opened his heart to Des- 
 demona long before he opened his lips and if I could 
 have seen the least sign of such a state of things in 
 Mr. Hope's manner to Miss Campbell I could have 
 forgiven her for being what the Cornish call "forthy"
 
 278 IRON COUSINS 
 
 in her manner to him. At least I should have decided 
 that it was none of my business and that if he liked 
 being fawned over and I disliked seeing it I need 
 only shut my eyes or avoid his company. But he 
 hated it. I felt sure that he hated it. A man does, 
 unless he is the wrong stuff himself. He did not look 
 at her when he gave her the ticket and so I suppose 
 he did not see what I saw, that when she had had 
 it in her hand a minute she absent-mindedly tore it 
 into little bits. He certainly looked surprised when 
 she gave a shriek, cast the bits of cardboard on the 
 table and said: 
 
 "I'm certainly duselig to-day. See what I have 
 done. Schadet nichts. There is room for us all in 
 the car if someone sits beside Johann in front." 
 
 "You can," said Frau Crefeld. "It will be good 
 for your headache." 
 
 Miss Campbell tossed her aching head and glanced 
 across the table at me. 
 
 "I had a little talk to the landlord just now," she 
 said. "It is strange. He is sure that he has seen 
 you before." 
 
 The attack was so sudden that I was not prepared 
 to meet it and I did what was perhaps the silliest 
 thing possible. I looked at Mr. Hope. I was glad 
 he was there, though I hardly knew why. But un- 
 fortunately Miss Campbell saw the look and went 
 green with anger. 
 
 "He says that you came here one Sunday last Sep- 
 tember and he thinks that you came with Herr Heiling 
 ... the young one of course." 
 
 "He seems to have a good memory," I said. I had 
 to say something.
 
 IRON COUSINS 279 
 
 "It seems to have been a funny affair. Herr 
 Heiling ordered a table for two but did not use it. 
 He sat with his family and you disappeared." 
 
 "I went home," I said. 
 
 I tried to appear unconcerned, but no doubt I only 
 half succeeded." 
 
 "How do you explain it?" said Miss Campbell. 
 
 "I don't explain it," I said. "I see no need." 
 
 "Quite right," said Frau Crefeld, who was awake 
 enough by this time. "What you did last September 
 is not Rebekah's business. She is so inquisitive." 
 
 Miss Campbell got up as suddenly as if she had 
 been a Jack-in-the-box. 
 
 "I shall go home by train. I can get another 
 ticket," she said, and marched away with a glowering 
 countenance. I felt most unhappy and I think Mr. 
 Hope did, too, but Frau Crefeld seemed to take such 
 tantrums as a matter of course. She whipped out her 
 purse and took some money from it. 
 
 "We shall be more comfortable without her," she 
 said. "Run after her, Gisela, and give her this. She 
 never has a groschen of her own." 
 
 "I'll go," said Mr. Hope, and was on his way before 
 Gisela had realized what her mother wanted. 
 
 "That is a man with whom I should fall in love if 
 I were a girl," said Frau Crefeld, and taking me un- 
 awares by her quick change of subject she asked: 
 "Do you ever see Herr Heiling now?" 
 
 "I saw him last night," I said. 
 
 "Where?' ' 
 
 "He called at the Pension" 
 
 I suppose my face or my manner told her something 
 I would rather not have told.
 
 28o IRON COUSINS 
 
 "He is still making love to you," she surmised. "At 
 the eleventh hour he would leave his bride and burn 
 through with you. Now that you have money he 
 reckons that he would be forgiven. Such a Don 
 Juan !" 
 
 "But you don't even know him," I cried. "How 
 can you . . ." 
 
 "My good child, look in the glass and ask yourself 
 whether a young man is likely to give you up for 
 Fraulein Mieding if he can possibly help it." 
 
 "I have done with him," I said. I thought it best 
 to make it clear. "I shall not see him again." 
 
 "There they come!" piped Gisela, who could see 
 down the garden path from where she sat and sure 
 enough Miss Campbell reappeared with Mr. Hope, 
 her good-humor restored. 
 
 "I have allowed myself to be persuaded," she said. 
 "Mr. Hope thinks I shall suffer less from the heat 
 in the car than I should in the train." 
 
 As it turned out none of us suffered from heat 
 going home because a thunder-storm rolled up sud- 
 denly, broke close to us and cooled the air. We sat 
 in the hotel while it lasted and Gisela came on my 
 knee and hid her head in my neck. Frau Crefeld 
 remained calm because she said she had lived through 
 worse storms without harm, and Miss Campbell told 
 us that her nerves were peculiarly affected by elec- 
 tricity. She was happy to say that she did not know 
 what fear meant but she was hypersensitive and could 
 not help starting and screaming with every crash. If 
 she had not explained her behavior in this way I 
 should have said she made an exhibition of herself, 
 especially when she clung to Mr. Hope's arm and
 
 IRON COUSINS 281 
 
 implored him to hide her. He extricated himself as 
 soon as he could without being positively brutal and 
 went outside to pick up hailstones. At least he said 
 so, but as there had been no hail there were naturally 
 no stones to pick up. 
 
 "I feel better now," Miss Campbell announced when 
 the storm was over, and it seemed only civil to say 
 that I was glad to hear it. But as we went towards 
 the car Frau Crefeld told me in a low voice that 
 Rebekah had always been of a trying temper and that 
 latterly she had begun to think she must let her go. 
 
 "It is not good for Gisela," she explained. "One 
 moment Rebekah is so cross and mopey that the child 
 does not know how to please her, and then again 
 she is in such high spirits that we ask her if she has 
 won the big prize in a lottery. She used to be uni- 
 formly unamiable and then I could deal with her. I 
 wonder if Mrs. David could find her a post on the 
 strength of her German." 
 
 "Is it good?" I asked. 
 
 "Not at all, but English people will not know that." 
 
 I nearly said that they would know she spoke 
 Whitechapel English, but I did not want to do Miss 
 Campbell any harm. She had her living to earn. 
 
 "Of course anyone can see what the trouble is," 
 continued Frau Crefeld. "She is crazy about Mr. 
 Hope and I am afraid that he positively dislikes her. 
 Silly goose! She is forty if she is a day." 
 
 I was glad that I did not have to reply as we were 
 getting near the car and might have been heard. The 
 spectacle of Miss Campbell's infatuation had dis- 
 tressed me all day and I did not want to discuss it. 
 Mr. Hope insisted on taking the seat next to the
 
 282 IRON COUSINS 
 
 chauffeur on the way home so we went back as we 
 had come. But the air was cool now and the dust 
 laid on the roads. When we got back to Hamburg 
 Frau Crefeld asked Mr. Hope and me to stay to 
 supper and we had an agreeable evening which Herr 
 Crefeld only disturbed for a moment by saying that 
 he did not like the news that reached him from 
 Berlin. Something was brewing there. Preparations 
 were being made very quietly and secretly. People 
 were restless and expectant. Then for a few minutes 
 the talk turned on war and on the way it would upset 
 things for a sort time if it came. I did not feel much 
 interested and was glad when we went on to discuss 
 our summer plans which seemed to concern us more 
 nearly than politics and money-markets. The Crefelds 
 were going to the Black Forest after Bayreuth and 
 suggested that I should go with them. I said I would, 
 gladly, and Mr. Hope said he would join us there in 
 August. Miss Campbell displayed her acquaintance 
 with Auerbach's novels and incidentally my ignorance. 
 I had not read Barfiissele. 
 
 "But it's an idyl," she piped affectedly, "an idyl. 
 I have a special interest in it because when I was 
 a little girl I loved to run about barefoot and my 
 uncle, a most dignified and wealthy man, caught me 
 so one day and ever after called me Barfiissele. It 
 became my pet name. I am not sure that when I see 
 the old thatched eaves and the forest and the village 
 street I shall not think myself a child again and whip 
 off my shoes and stockings and dance for joy. I am 
 not at all ashamed of my feet." 
 
 I did not mean to catch Frau Cref eld's eye, but it 
 happened. So I got up rather hurriedly and bid good- 
 night.
 
 XXXVIII 
 
 CASPAR did not commit suicide. He married 
 Elsa on the appointed day, made a merry 
 speech at the bridal banquet and departed for 
 a honeymoon in the Tyrol in the best of spirits. I 
 did not go to the wedding but I was told about it by 
 the Plessens when I went to see them early in July. 
 They were all going to Schondorf again although 
 Herr Plessen looked gloomy and said that the Serajevo 
 murders might lead to war. I said I hoped not, much 
 as you say you hope there won't be an earthquake 
 in Central Asia or a revolution in Chili. You know 
 that violent events must be uncomfortable for some- 
 body, but when you have always lived in Chelsea it 
 is difficult to imagine what a storm center really means 
 to those engulfed in it. I had promised to go to the 
 Black Forest with the Crefelds and then to the 
 Italian Lakes, where I was to meet the Davids and the 
 Saddingtons. After that I supposed I should go back 
 to Chelsea and perhaps stay with the Davids while 
 I decided what to do about the contents of Aunt 
 Susan's house which were mine now. Mrs. David 
 took for granted that I could not live there alone and 
 I did not think I wanted to. I hardly knew what I 
 wanted, but I knew what I did not want and that was 
 to see Miss Campbell about five times a week. She 
 did not like me and I did not like her. There was 
 283
 
 284 IRON COUSINS 
 
 no pretence of friendship between us. Yet we were 
 forever meeting and when we met she confided in 
 me. I did not want her confidences; I tried to stop 
 them. But I might as well have tried to stop a 
 shower of rain. They were poured forth when we 
 met at the Crefelds and sometimes when we met by 
 chance and when she came uninvited and unencouraged 
 to see me. 
 
 "I have no doubts now," she said one afternoon. 
 "If I doubted before I could do so no longer after 
 last night." 
 
 I did not ask her what had happened. It was not 
 necessary. I knew that I should be told in detail un- 
 less I turned her out of the room, and I was not 
 prepared to go those lengths. It resolved itself this 
 time into the recapitulation of a dialogue that seemed 
 to be inadequate, but she said truly that I had not 
 heard the tone of his voice when he addressed her as 
 "partner" at bridge or seen the meaning in his eyes. 
 She had taken a hand at bridge last night, she ex- 
 plained, because some man the Crefelds had expected 
 had disappointed them at the last moment. 
 
 "I didn't know you played bridge," I said. 
 
 "I play extremely well. My brother-in-law is a 
 brilliant player and he taught me. I have an aptitude 
 for cards. Some people have. It is not more to 
 their credit than the color of their eyebrows. But 
 men like to play with me. Last night at the end of 
 a rubber when we should have cut for partners again 
 he said, 'Why not remain as we are ?' " 
 
 "What did you say?" 
 
 "I made some little joke about not being partners 
 for life just yet. I can usually think of something
 
 IRON COUSINS 285 
 
 witty to say. I believe men value brains in women 
 more than a pink and white skin . . . don't you?" 
 
 "I've no idea," I murmured. "I don't really know 
 much about men. You see I always lived with Aunt 
 Susan . . ." 
 
 "You're a sly one !" she exclaimed to my amaze- 
 ment. "You must have known a good deal about one 
 man not so long ago. I certainly thought that night 
 when I found him with you . . ." 
 
 She paused. I went on with a bit of fine sewing in 
 my hands and I hope my silence and my manner 
 showed her that I was not pleased. 
 
 "Tell me," she continued insinuatingly. "Tell me !" 
 How much did Frau Plessen know ?" 
 
 "Know what?" 
 
 "About your relations with Herr Heiling?" 
 
 "What do you mean by relations?" 
 
 "Ha-ha ! the lady fences. That tells a tale. How- 
 ever, what is ancient history shall not be resuscitated 
 by me. I can afford to be generous ... I who am 
 the happiest woman in the world. Tell me ... where 
 did Fraulein Mieding buy her trousseau?" 
 
 I told her as far as I knew and wondered at her 
 while I sat there sewing. At moments I wanted to 
 kick her downstairs and at other moments I felt more 
 moved by compassion than by wrath or derision. She 
 really believed, or said she did, that she was about 
 to marry Quentin Hope, and she talked of when the 
 marriage would take place, where they would go for 
 a honeymoon and where they would live. I did not 
 know what to think. She spoke with absolute con- 
 viction and yet avoided any test of reality. For in- 
 stance, when I asked her if the Crefelds knew what
 
 286 IRON COUSINS 
 
 had happened she said that she found them both un- 
 sympathetic and never talked to them of her affairs. 
 She charged me to say nothing to Frau Crefeld and 
 explained that she wished to surprise them with her 
 news when everything was settled. She said that 
 she had written to her brother-in-law and given him 
 an account of Quentin's financial position which she 
 hoped Mr. Wolff would consider satisfactory, and she 
 had asked her sister to buy her some boots and stock- 
 ings in Paris as she could not find German ones that 
 displayed the elegance of her feet to her contentment. 
 
 "Does Mr. Hope know that you are taking these 
 steps towards your marriage?" I asked. I felt that 
 I wanted to say something that would prick a bubble 
 and found it more difficult than I expected. I felt 
 sure it was a bubble and to see the silly woman pursue 
 it made me uncomfortable and ashamed. I hoped for 
 the sake of my sex that Mr. Hope did not know. 
 
 "We have so few chances of seeing each other," 
 she answered. "I have no wish to say anything 
 against Frau Crefeld but there is no doubt that she 
 is jealous. She has always looked on Quentin as her 
 property and the idea of his marriage drives her to 
 fury. I should not be greatly surprised if there was 
 Krach some day and I left suddenly." 
 
 "I suppose you would go to Paris," I said. 
 
 "Not at all. I should go straight to him. There 
 are times when a woman must take her courage in 
 her hands." 
 
 I fixed my eyes on my sewing and was therefore 
 not looking out of the window when Miss Campbell 
 said in an agitated tone: 
 
 "There he is! He has followed me here. Where
 
 IRON COUSINS 287 
 
 can we see each other? Will you leave us or is there 
 another room?" 
 
 "There is a salon which is usually empty," I said. 
 "I shall stay here." 
 
 "I will go out into the hall. I will take him . . ." 
 
 She was in such a state of fussy excitement that 
 she hardly knew what she was doing and as she buzzed 
 across the room dropped her bag and all its various 
 contents on the floor. I could not move quickly yet, 
 but I got up in order to help her. However, before 
 I reached her Mr. Hope came into the room, but 
 seemed about to retreat in dismay when he saw Miss 
 Campbell on her knees on the floor. She was still 
 engaged in collecting the odd assortment of lozenges, 
 hair-pins, pencils, keys and loose coins that had rolled 
 away from her and she remained on her knees when 
 Mr. Hope, after a moment's hesitation, came further 
 into the room. 
 
 "See what has happened !" she cried. "I was hurry- 
 ing out to see you. Miss Danvers says that the salon 
 is at our disposal . . ." 
 
 He took no notice of what she said, recognized her 
 frostily and came on to me. I went back to my chair 
 and he took the one opposite me. I rather expected 
 Miss Campbell to repeat her invitation to the salon 
 but she did nothing of the kind. As if Quentin's 
 actual presence brought her down from the fool's 
 paradise in which she allowed herself to dream when 
 he was away she quietly took the chair she had occu- 
 pied before, joined in the conversation, seemed at first 
 determined to outstay him but at last to our relief got 
 up to go. Then, for a moment, she played the fool 
 again.
 
 288 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I am walking back," she said in a wooing voice. 
 "It is a lovely afternoon." ** 
 
 As he said nothing at all I spoke for him and agreed 
 with her about the weather. 
 
 "Frau Crefeld expects you this evening," she went 
 on, addressing the irresponsive young man. 
 
 "Not till eight o'clock," he said. 
 
 "It is now half past six," she said, consulting her 
 watch. 
 
 "It is a quarter to seven," said he, looking at his 
 own. 
 
 "You will not walk with me?" 
 
 "No," he said. 
 
 He did not give a reason or excuse himself or tell 
 a white lie. He did not deny her brutally or lose his 
 temper. But he did not want to walk back with her, 
 so he would not do it and said so downrightly. Per- 
 haps he was not adroit but he was effective. She 
 flounced out of the room in such a tantrum that she 
 forgot to say good-by to me, and she banged the door 
 after her. When she had gone we were both silent 
 for a moment and then we talked of other things. I 
 am sure she was in his thoughts as she was in mine, 
 but we did not speak of her. We were not intimate 
 enough with each other for that. He asked me a 
 good many questions about my lame leg and I won- 
 dered why he was interested in it until he said that 
 he thought there might be a war and that I might 
 want to leave Hamburg in a hurry. 
 
 "But if there is a war it won't come to Hamburg?" 
 I said. "I should be as safe here as anywhere. How- 
 ever, I am going to the Black Forest in August. Will 
 there be a war there?"
 
 IRON COUSINS 289 
 
 "It won't be a joke wherever it is," he said grimly. 
 "I wish you would go back to England at once . . . 
 while you can travel in comfort." 
 
 "I've just told you I'm going to the Black Forest. 
 I have my ticket and my rooms," I said. I felt morti- 
 fied. If I stampeded now to England I should prob- 
 ably never see him again and he seemed to envisage 
 that result of his advice without a qualm. I did not; 
 but I would have gone to the stake rather than let 
 him know it. I was not going to follow in Miss 
 Campbell's footsteps. 
 
 "Have you any ready money?" he said next, to my 
 amazement and discomfiture. I did not think when 
 he came in that he had come to talk about money. I 
 hoped he had come because he felt, as I did, that we 
 liked being with each other. 
 
 "I have money in the bank," I said rather stiffly. 
 
 "Take it out." 
 
 "I shall when I want it ... of course." 
 
 "Take it out to-morrow . . . and exchange most of 
 it for English gold." 
 
 "But why? I suppose if there is a war there will 
 still be cakes and ale ... banks I mean and business 
 as usual. I never heard of a war that disturbed 
 daily life." 
 
 "How old are you?" 
 
 "Twenty-one." 
 
 "Who looks after you now?" 
 
 "No one. I can look after myself, I assure you." 
 
 He did not contradict me, but his silence was 
 skeptical. And when he got up to go he told me 
 again to take my money out of the bank.
 
 XXXIX 
 
 ENTER Miss Campbell in a state of frenzy, her 
 features twitching, her appearance battered. 
 "Money !" she cried. "I must have money. 
 I must get away to-night. 
 
 I had not been out for a day or two or seen any 
 papers, but I had noticed of course that the Pension 
 was like an ant heap disturbed by a brick. The 
 young men were packing up and the old ones were 
 recalling the events of forty-four years ago. The 
 women were excited and either tearful or triumphant, 
 and the two friends who ran the Pension had assured 
 me that I need not disturb myself in any way. There 
 would be a war but it would be over in a few weeks 
 and while it lasted they engaged to look after me as 
 usual. Traveling would be troublesome on account 
 of the movement of troops and if I took their advice 
 I should give up the Black Forest and stay peace- 
 fully in Hamburg. I had not said yea or nay yet, 
 but I had followed Mr. Hope's advice and taken my 
 money out of the bank three days ago. There was 
 not much there because I had not put in a check that 
 had just arrived, but I had enough I thought to pay 
 what I owed and get back to England if necessary. 
 I should not have enough, however, if I lent money 
 to Miss Campbell and I asked her why she did not 
 get what she needed from Herr Crefeld. 
 290
 
 IRON COUSINS 291 
 
 "He says he cannot. He is very disobliging," she 
 assured me. She was in a state of panic evidently, 
 her arrogance wilted for the moment, her nerves un- 
 strung. 
 
 "I must get away to-night," she repeated. But when 
 I asked her why, a cunning gleam came into her eyes 
 for a moment and she told me that her sister in Paris 
 was mortally ill. 
 
 "I must be with her," she said. "It is a matter of 
 life and death. If you lend me the money I will 
 return it the day I arrive." 
 
 I still hesitated, for, to put it plainly, I did not believe 
 her, and I did not understand why she was so urgent. 
 
 "I think of staying here," I began. 
 
 "Then you can lend me the money." 
 
 I think I should have refused if she had not been 
 in such a state of terror and excitement. Her eyes 
 were starting out of her head, her color was greenish 
 where it was usually only sallow and her voice chat- 
 tered uncontrollably. After all it was not like giving 
 her my cup of water when I was dying of thirst. It 
 was not yielding my chances of life to her or, indeed, 
 doing anything generous or heroic. At any rate I 
 did not think so because at the moment I did not 
 know in any way what war between England and 
 Germany would entail, and there is nothing good or 
 bad, but thinking makes it so. I felt unwilling to 
 lend her my money because I disliked her and did 
 not expect to see it again, and I felt rather mean 
 and grudging as I unlocked the drawer where I kept 
 it and asked her how much she required. When I 
 had given it to her I had not much left. 
 
 "I suppose things will settle down in a day or two/'
 
 292 IRON COUSINS 
 
 I said. "Herr Crefeld will cash me a check if I 
 want it." 
 
 "No doubt ! No doubt !" she muttered, and shuffled 
 hastily out of the room after assuring me with the 
 air of one conferring a favor that my money would 
 be returned to me by her brother-in-law directly she 
 arrived in Paris. 
 
 When she had gone I began to wonder whether I 
 had been a fool, and for more than an hour I sat 
 beside my window in a confused and tumultuous state 
 of mind that I should find difficult to describe in my 
 old-fashioned way. I will therefore attempt it in 
 the new fashion and I hope at any rate to suggest that 
 my thoughts were various and incoherent. 
 
 Miss Campbell. Twitching face. Terror. Hot 
 day. Slanting sunbeams. Dirty bank notes. Smell 
 of roasting meat. Shrill steamer whistles. Sun on the 
 water. Tramp of feet outside. Railway station. 
 Crowds. Lame leg. War. Troops. Men saying 
 good-by. Women screeching. B elegies Butterbrod 
 at stations. Brass bands. Battles. Blood. Wounds. 
 August sun . . . England. Big clean-limbed men. 
 Cockneys. Chelsea Embankment. Our little square 
 and the quiet house in it. English people again. Ex- 
 citement. English newspapers. Crowds. No money. 
 This room a refuge whatever happens. People on 
 steamboats. Dust. Heat. The Schondorf woods. 
 Plessens. Trudi. Trudi at war with England. Per- 
 haps! Nonsense. Who makes wars since no one 
 wants them ? Caspar ! Will he have to fight ? Russia ! 
 Rather near Hamburg. No danger to non-combatants 
 now-a-days. The world civilized and humane. 
 Bayonets. Quentin! Wonder if he has gone. Miss 
 Campbell. Curious thing terror. Stronger passion
 
 IRON COUSINS 293 
 
 than love in some natures . . . not in all ... not 
 even in animals. Wonder if I'm a coward! Who 
 knows. Her gloves were dirty and her veil torn. 
 Usually neat but never what the Germans call ap- 
 petizing. Like our English word dainty better. Eng- 
 land. Begin to wish I was there. After all if there 
 is a war . . . one's own country . . . suppose I am 
 a fool . . . Black Forest. Wish I had someone be- 
 longing to me ... a brother or even an uncle . . . 
 here in Hamburg. Ought to be self-reliant . . . 
 modern woman . . . suffragettes . . . Isabella. Troops 
 marching past the house and singing Deutschland 
 iiber Alles. Very proper sentiment for Germans. 
 . . . Means my country before myself . . . not what 
 English people think it means. . . . Quentin wanted 
 me to go back a week ago . . . wish he ... but he 
 didn't . . . put that out of my mind anyhow . . . 
 not so easy ... is there a line about the big fire 
 putting out a lesser . . . but it never was a fire . . . 
 just dilly-dally . . . wish . . .Oh damn ! Quentin !" 
 
 He walked into the room unannounced, and as if 
 he had no time to lose. He did not look like Miss 
 Campbell, panic-stricken, but he looked grave and 
 tired. 
 
 "I could not come before," he said. "What ar- 
 rangements have you made?" 
 
 "None!" I answered. "I am going to stay here. 
 I shall be quite safe." 
 
 "I dare say you'll be safe, but if England comes 
 in you'll be made uncomfortable in various ways. 
 The Germans are not accommodating when they are 
 angry and if they find themselves up against us they 
 are going to be very angry." 
 
 "But after all ... what could they do to me?"
 
 294 IRON COUSINS 
 
 He sat down opposite me. 
 
 "Of course it's not my business," he said. "I've 
 no authority over you. If I had . . ." 
 
 "Yes! If you had ..." I wanted him to finish 
 because the idea was a pleasant and restful one al- 
 though of course not one for me to dwell on. 
 
 "I should take you back to England with me to- 
 night." 
 
 "To-night!" 
 
 "By to-morrow it may be difficult . . . perhaps im- 
 possible." 
 
 Both his manner and his advice surprised me. 
 
 "Do you mean to say that I might be prevented 
 from traveling if I wanted to?" I cried. 
 
 "You would probably not be allowed to leave Ger- 
 many till the war was over. You would be under 
 police supervision, suspected of being a spy . . . per- 
 haps without money." 
 
 "For weeks and weeks?" 
 
 "Weeks? Who knows? Years perhaps." 
 
 I looked at him incredulously, but even for weeks 
 the idea of police supervision was uncomfortable. 
 The police existed in order to help and safeguard 
 people like me, not to supervise and I had heard 
 stories of the German police, of their insolence and 
 brutality. I had not come across it seriously, but I 
 could imagine what it might be from a single inter- 
 view that had been necessary when I had to explain 
 at the Police Office that I had not provided myself 
 with a passport. 
 
 "Did you take your money out of the bank," he 
 asked. "There is no money to be got anywhere to- 
 day."
 
 IRON COUSINS 295 
 
 "Then that settles it," I said. "I can't go. I have 
 an English check for a hundred pounds . . ." 
 
 "No one would cash it." 
 
 "I suppose Herr Crefeld would." 
 
 He tried to explain the state of affairs to me: the 
 sudden financial panic that would probably right itself 
 but that made it impossible even for a rich man like 
 Herr Crefeld to go to the bank and get bare cash 
 there. I did not understand, but I told him that I 
 only had enough in the house to pay for my Pension. 
 He said it did not matter. He had enough for us 
 both and I could borrow from him; and I, thinking 
 it did not matter, told him of Miss Campbell's visit 
 and of my loan to her. But he looked rather angry 
 when he heard of it. 
 
 "She was going off with your money and leaving 
 you here without a penny !" he said. 
 
 "I suppose she thought the Crefelds would look 
 after me." 
 
 "They have gone to Berlin. Didn't she tell you?" 
 
 "No ... but there is the post." 
 
 "You won't want the post. You are going to let 
 me take you to England. It is six o'clock. I'll come 
 for you at ten. Don't try to bring anything but a 
 hand-bag." 
 
 "But what will happen to my things?" 
 
 "You'll probably lose them." 
 
 "All my books!" 
 
 "You'll buy new ones." 
 
 I hesitated. 
 
 "If I stayed here . . ."I began, but he would not 
 listen. 
 
 "Ten o'clock," he said again, and I knew that I 
 should be ready.
 
 XL 
 
 WE hardly spoke as we drove to the station in 
 the Crefelds' car. Mr. Hope had told me 
 when he came that he had luckily been able to 
 borrow it, otherwise we should have had to walk and 
 take trams. It was impossible to get a taxi. I did 
 not try to break in on his silence because I had seen 
 that he was anxious and pre-occupied, and I won- 
 dered whether the war was upsetting his business 
 arrangements and perhaps his future plans. It is diffi- 
 cult now, after nearly five years, to realize how 
 ignorant most of us were of what was coming and 
 how slightly stirred. I had thought it annoying to 
 leave clothes and books behind, but I imagined they 
 would be sent after me and I had packed everything 
 I wished to keep in a big trunk. I need hardly say 
 that I have not seen it from that day to this. As I 
 was obliged to travel with what I stood up in I 
 naturally put on the best things I had; the best things 
 suitable for traveling, I mean. I had come across 
 the bridesmaid's dress I had worn at Isabella's wed- 
 ding and never once since, but of course I had not 
 been able to bring that or my books or the furs the 
 Plessens had given me at Christmas. I did think 
 of bringing them, but it was a hot summer night and 
 I decided that they would be in the way. I thought 
 that I myself, with my more or less lame leg, was 
 296
 
 IRON COUSINS 297 
 
 enough of an undertaking under the circumstances, so 
 I only packed the few valuables I possessed and what 
 I should need for a night in the train in a small 
 leather dispatch box I could carry. But when Mr. 
 Hope saw me he said I ought to have a warm wrap 
 for the boat so I unlocked my trunk and took out the 
 fur coat Mrs. David had given me when I left London 
 more than a year ago. 
 
 "I'm glad I'm going back to England," I said as 
 we neared the station, for when I saw its lights I felt 
 moved and uplifted by the thought of being in my 
 own country again. 
 
 "I am glad, too," said Mr. Hope, and he seemed 
 to me to put an avowal into his voice and into his 
 eyes and smile: an avowal for which he had found 
 no words yet but which startled and rejoiced me. I 
 got out of the car and waited where he told me in 
 the crowded station, my thoughts whirling, my mood 
 dreamy and dazzled. I saw the distracted, panic- 
 stricken crowd through the veil of my own happiness 
 and their antics seemed far away. Such stuff as 
 dreams are made of. The reality that mattered just 
 then was a memory and I sat there warmed and 
 enclosed by it. 
 
 It gave me a disagreeable shock suddenly to see 
 Miss Campbell coming towards me, an enormous green 
 hold-all in one hand and a bright blue portmanteau 
 in the other, both as evidently made in Germany as 
 to my mind she was herself. She dumped the port- 
 manteau at my feet, let the hold-all down so clumsily 
 that it pitched against me and uttered a loud groan. 
 
 "He is bringing the other things," she said. 
 
 I wondered what she meant.
 
 298 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I have been here more than an hour," she said. 
 "I ordered the car for 8.30. When I heard that he 
 wanted it at 9.30 and was coming here I naturally 
 waited. I cannot understand why he did not tell me. 
 How did you get here and where are you going?" 
 
 "I am going back to England." 
 
 "You said this afternoon that you would stay on in 
 Hamburg." 
 
 "I changed my mind." 
 
 '"But how did you get to the station?" 
 
 "In the Crefelds' car. Mr. Hope fetched me." 
 
 A gleam of surprise and annoyance crossed Re- 
 bekah-Rosamund's face for a moment but she spoke 
 with benevolent patronage. 
 
 "Quite right. I am sure Herr Crefeld would have 
 been willing that you should use his car. Then I 
 suppose we may see something of you on the journey." 
 
 "But I thought you were going to Paris?" 
 
 "No. I, too, have changed my mind. I am going 
 to London. He wishes it. When I asked him just 
 now to take my ticket for me he said 'With pleasure/ 
 It is astonishing how much a man can express in 
 two words when he puts his whole heart into them." 
 
 I had no doubt of whom she was speaking and I 
 had no doubt that one of us was living in a fool's 
 paradise. Here was I happy in the memory of a look 
 and here was she putting heaven knows what meaning 
 into two formal words. The situation was absurd, 
 undignified and, for one of us, distressing. I wanted 
 it cleared up. 
 
 "Have you friends in London?" I asked. 
 
 "I shall have one friend," she answered fatuously. 
 "I shall not need more."
 
 IRON COUSINS 299 
 
 I did not know what to say. I felt sure she was 
 mistaken but I could not see that it was my business 
 to tell her so. Besides she would not have believed 
 me. I cannot remember that I felt in the least angry 
 with her, or jealous, or even inclined to laugh. She 
 seemed to me like a creature ridden by a hallucina- 
 tion from which facts would wake her roughly before 
 long, and as I believed that I should play a part in 
 the awakening, a part she would grudge and resent, 
 I was in no great hurry to open her eyes. But I did 
 wish to make sure that my own were steady. 
 
 Before either of us spoke again Mr. Hope appeared, 
 carrying a heavy portmanteau as well as his own 
 small suit-case. 
 
 "I am sure they will not let you travel with all 
 this luggage," he said to Miss Campbell. "They are 
 only allowing people to take what they can carry in 
 their hands." 
 
 Just then the crowd made a rush in which we found 
 ourselves involved and Mr. Hope turned to me. 
 
 "Are you sure you can keep on your feet if you 
 take my arm ?" he said, and he managed to make way 
 for me as a tall, strong man can without hustling his 
 neighbors unfairly or allowing them to hustle us. We 
 soon found ourselves separated from Miss Campbell. 
 
 "Will she be all right?" I said, trying to see her 
 behind us but finding that other travelers had pushed 
 between. 
 
 "I hope so," he said, and then he added: "I'm 
 going to look after you." My arm was close against 
 his side as we pressed on and he accented what he 
 said by holding it still more tightly to him for a 
 moment.
 
 300 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I thought she was going to Paris," I said. 
 
 "I wish she had," said he, and set my mind at 
 rest. 
 
 When we got to the waitingroom in which pas- 
 sengers' luggage was weighed, we were told as we 
 had expected that Miss Campbell's portmanteau could 
 not go with us. And some time after we were safely 
 in the train Miss Campbell, deprived of everything 
 except her hold-all, found us out. She talked of 
 nothing but her losses till we reached the Dutch 
 frontier. All night she talked of what she had lost 
 and of what she would claim from the city of Ham- 
 burg through her influential friends and relations and 
 of the inconvenience she was about to suffer when 
 she arrived in London without her possessions. Every- 
 one in the compartment, probably everyone in the 
 train, had suffered equally with her, but you would 
 have thought to hear her that no one else possessed 
 anything they cherished, or could feel inconvenienced 
 or bereaved. She also complained loudly and often 
 of the crowded compartment, the heat, the frequent 
 tedious stoppages and the want of refreshments when 
 she expected to find some. It certainly was a trying 
 journey, for we missed our connections over and over 
 again through having to wait at sidings while troop 
 trains went through, and finally we missed the morn- 
 ing boat at Flushing, but the further we got and the 
 more I heard other people talk of what was happen- 
 ing the more thankful I felt to be in a train at all, 
 a train carrying me quite decidedly out of Germany 
 and towards England. I listened drowsily to the talk 
 between Mr. Hope and another Englishman opposite 
 him and they were both agreed that if they had
 
 IRON COUSINS 301 
 
 waited another twelve hours they might not have got 
 away at all. Civilian traffic would probably be 
 stopped for a time and when it was resumed, if we 
 had come into the war, the position of English people 
 in Germany would be that of alien enemies, disagree- 
 able, and in many cases, dangerous. 
 
 It was hot, it was dusty, it was noisy, and yet at 
 intervals I slept. So did Miss Campbell, with her 
 mouth open and snoring, but she said in the morning 
 that she had not closed an eye all night. I felt dazed 
 by all I had heard and seen of the war since I left 
 Hamburg: by the sight of every station we passed 
 crowded with gray uniforms, by the sound of those 
 trampling feet and shouting voices, by the insolence 
 of some Jacks-in-office who would have hauled Miss 
 Campbell and me out of the train because we had 
 no passports and were only prevented by Mr. Hope 
 producing his passport and his assurance that we 
 really were women and not fighting men in petticoats 
 and that we were traveling with him. That was a 
 near squeak, and I wondered what would have hap- 
 pened if I had been left with Miss Campbell at a 
 German wayside station with no money in my pos- 
 session except a useless English check. 
 
 "You would not have been left," said Mr. Hope. 
 "I am going to see you safe home ... if you are 
 going home." 
 
 "I don't know yet where I am going," I said. 
 
 "I am in the same predicament," said Miss Camp- 
 bell. 
 
 We were sitting close to each other on the deck 
 of the steamer which was so crowded that you had 
 to sit close to your neighbors. Luckily it was a fine
 
 302 IRON COUSINS 
 
 night and though we were packed like sardines the 
 sea air refreshed and braced us after the long suffo- 
 cating night and day in the trains. I think everyone 
 felt as we did ourselves, relieved to be out of German 
 trains and on an English boat, and though I should 
 not have admitted it aloud I rather agreed with the 
 girl who said she wanted to kiss all the English 
 sailors, old and young. It was pleasant to hear one's 
 own tongue again and to be amongst one's own people 
 and at sea with Englishmen. We had had hot coffee 
 and bacon for breakfast and were recovering from 
 the alarms and excursions of our escape. Mr. Hope 
 had steered me through the luggage laden crush of 
 passengers hurrying from the train to the steamer 
 and had found seats for us when there seemed to be 
 no seats left for anyone. 
 
 "I tried to send telegrams yesterday," I explained, 
 "but I was told that all the lines were blocked. Two 
 were taken but no guarantee of dispatch or arrival 
 was given. I think I shall go to Mrs. David 
 first . . ." 
 
 "I will come with you," said Miss Campbell. 
 
 I looked at her in astonishment. 
 
 "Do you know her?" I asked. 
 
 "Not exactly," she admitted, "but the Crefelds knew 
 her well and I come from them. At such a time as 
 this nothing more is necessary. They are rich people. 
 They can take me in for a few days till my plans 
 are made." 
 
 She looked at Mr. Hope as she spoke but he looked 
 at the sea and said nothing. 
 
 "I think if you go to the Davids I will go to my
 
 IRON COUSINS 303 
 
 own house in Chelsea," I said. "Perhaps two un- 
 expected guests . . ." 
 
 "Where is your house in Chelsea?" she asked, 
 gave her the address. I thought perhaps she wanted 
 it in order to return the money she had borrowed.
 
 XLI 
 
 TIBBIE opened the door to me and her hard- 
 featured north-country face showed as much 
 pleasure as she ever considered it seemly to 
 show. 
 
 "Ye've come back then?" she said, and her glance 
 traveled towards my companion who had his back 
 turned for the moment and was speaking to the taxi- 
 driver. 
 
 "I thowt you would ..." she said. "Yo're not 
 married, are yo ?" 
 
 I was afraid Quentin would hear and turned hastily 
 to see how near he was. If he had heard, his face 
 remained impassive as he told me that he was going 
 on to a hotel near, but would like to see me again 
 this afternoon. 
 
 "Could I come about tea-time?" he suggested, and 
 I said he could. 
 
 Then Tibbie took me indoors and talked to me a 
 little about Aunt Susan and I told her about the 
 journey we had had and how the war was turning 
 everything upside down already. She said she knew 
 it because on Saturday the butcher who always cashed 
 my checks for her refused to cash my last one, so 
 that she had no money in the house and very little 
 food. All the shops would be shut because it was 
 Bank Holiday and there was nothing to be bought 
 304
 
 IRON COUSINS 305 
 
 but newspapers which the little boys were offering us 
 this moment in the street below. 
 
 "GERMAN ULTIMATUM TO BELGIUM, GERMANY 
 AND RUSSIA." 
 
 Their shrill voices reached us through the open 
 window of the drawing-room as we stayed there and 
 talked. It looked just the same as on the day I left 
 it, more than a year ago, only Aunt Susan's chair 
 was empty and the little every-day things she had 
 used, her spectacles, her writing-case, her ordered 
 work-basket would never be used again. I felt her 
 presence and the loss of her here more vividly than 
 I had felt it yet, and I wished that she had lived to 
 receive my confidence and rejoice with me. 
 
 "It's an awfu' thing this war," said Tibbie. "If 
 someone don't stop it our young chaps'll be killed. 
 Killed! I saw the Kayser last time he came over 
 ... on the Embankment. The old Queen would 
 never have stood his nonsense. When he started 
 prancing she had the navy out . . . she did. You 
 don't remember, but I do. He's mad, he is. Who's 
 that coming here now in a taxi . . . with luggage 
 ... a lady . . . looks like a furriner . . ." 
 
 I looked out of the window, too, and saw, as I 
 knew I should, Miss Campbell with her hold-all. A 
 prolonged resounding knock caused Tibbie to move 
 stiffly downstairs again while I thought I knew what 
 Sinbad the Sailor had felt like, and remember that 
 I could not give her money to go elsewhere because 
 I had none in my possession. She entered with a 
 jaunty air that was a trifle forced and said that the 
 Davids were at Brighton.
 
 306 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "I could not very well insist on staying in their 
 house while they were away," she said. "I dare say 
 many people would have done so but I preferred to 
 come here. It cannot be for long." 
 
 I was glad to hear that but doubted the premises 
 on which she based her conclusion. 
 
 "I'm afraid there is nothing much to eat in the 
 house," I said. "I was not expected and it is Bank 
 Holiday and none of us have any money . . . what 
 can you give us, Tibbie? I'm not hungry . . . only 
 tired. I want to go to bed for a few hours." 
 
 "Quite a sensible idea," said Miss Campbell. "After 
 the night we had a little beauty sleep is indicated." 
 
 I give the phrases she used. I hated them unrea- 
 sonably. Indicated ! 
 
 "As for food," she went on graciously, "we must 
 make the best of things. If you will give me the 
 name of my friend's hotel I will indite a telegram 
 which one of your servants can take to the post for 
 me, suggesting that we should dine with him to- 
 night." 
 
 "Bank 'Oliday!" snapped Tibbie, who was taking 
 Miss Campbell's measure with extreme disfavor. 
 "Post office shut." 
 
 "But why should I be inconvenienced because the 
 mob wants its 'oliday?" inquiry Miss Campbell, 
 mimicking Tibbie and causing the old woman to 
 frown more deeply than before. "However, I can 
 telephone. I suppose you have one in the house?" 
 
 She did not try to hide her vexation and her con- 
 tempt when I told her I had not, and also that I 
 did not know the name of Mr. Hope's hotel. 
 
 "But in that case I cannot reach him and he will
 
 IRON COUSINS 307 
 
 look for me in Fitzjohn Avenue," she said. "How 
 very annoying." 
 
 I did not tell her that he was coming here this 
 afternoon because I found I could not speak of him 
 to her. I said thit I was dog-tired and wished to 
 rest and I asked Tibbie to get our rooms ready as 
 quickly as she could. While we waited Miss Camp- 
 bell stared round the drawing-room with a depre- 
 ciatory eye and told me exactly how her sister's salon 
 in Paris was furnished and what the Persian carpet 
 in it had cost. Her voice began to drone in my ears 
 and I could hardly keep my eyes open, but when 
 Tibbie returned I accompanied my self-invited guest 
 to the spare room and made sure that everything she 
 needed was there. 
 
 "Very nice," she said patronizingly, "but where is 
 your bathroom? After a journey the first thing I 
 require is a hot bath." 
 
 "Yo* can't 'ave it," said Tibbie, who stood by, "no 
 kitchen fire." 
 
 "A caretaker, I presume," said Miss Campbell as 
 Tibbie hobbled off. "I suppose you will get civilized 
 servants at once." 
 
 I did not tell her that Tibbie had lived with Aunt 
 Susan for forty years and that I had never had to 
 do with any other servant except in other people's 
 houses. I did not tell her, partly because I was too 
 tired to argue and partly because I resented her tone 
 as one's body resents a nightmare. I wanted her to 
 go. I wanted never to see her again. I hoped Mrs. 
 David would come soon and help me get rid of her, 
 humanely, but for good. This was my house and 
 she brought into it what did not belong there: ar-
 
 3 o8 IRON COUSINS 
 
 rogance and ill will. I wished her pleasant dreams 
 and escaped to my own room. 
 
 I slept for six hours and should have gone on 
 sleeping if Tibbie had not roused me. The gentleman 
 had called, she said, and it was tea-time. She brought 
 me hot water and my tweed skirt well brushed and 
 she told me she had baked scones for tea. She looked 
 taken aback when I put my arms round her neck and 
 kissed her. Caretaker, indeed! She was home and 
 I had come back to her through the turmoil and the 
 gathering clouds of war. She was safety. She was 
 a bit of England, a sturdy faithful bit, valuable and 
 beloved. 
 
 "Get on with yo're dressin'," she said. "I'll tak' 
 oop tea. I've got a chicken for yo're dinner." 
 
 "How did you get it?" 
 
 "Knocked 'em oop." 
 
 "Is Miss Campbell down?" 
 
 "Naw." 
 
 Tibbie shut the door behind her with a snap and 
 I dressed as quickly as I could. I had nothing 
 but my tweed skirt and a clean white blouse 
 for which I had found room in my hand-bag, but I 
 felt clean again and rested when I went downstairs. 
 Quentin got up to meet me. I held out my hand 
 to him and he kept it in his. At first he did not 
 speak so I spoke lightly because his silence made me 
 feel shy. 
 
 "Miss Campbell is staying here," I said. "The 
 Davids are at Brighton." 
 
 I doubt if he heard. He seemed to be occupied 
 with his own thoughts. 
 
 "They say that Kitchener is going to ask for
 
 IRON COUSINS 309 
 
 100,000 men," he began surprisingly. I had not 
 thought much about the war since I got home. I 
 looked up at him now and my heart gave a leap 
 towards him and answered the affection in his eyes. 
 
 "If he asks for them he must have them." 
 
 "Yes," I said. 
 
 "I shall go." 
 
 "Yes." I spoke in a lower voice then, but there 
 was nothing else to say. 
 
 "Will you marry me? At once . . . before I go?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 There was nothing else to say.
 
 XLH 
 
 " T 'ACCUSE," she screamed on the top notes of 
 her voice. "J' accuse " and pointed to me, 
 ** gibbering. I had left the door slightly ajar, 
 Miss Campbell had come down unheard, had seen 
 us and now stood on the threshold, trembling and 
 stuttering with rage. There was tragedy in her bitter 
 wrath but there was comedy in her audience, for as 
 she stood there the large resplendent figures of Mrs. 
 David and Isabella appeared behind her and passed 
 by her as smoothly and irresistibly as two large motor 
 cars would pass a cursing tramp. It took some time 
 for them to enfold me in their arms as warmly and 
 kiss me as often as they wished to do, and then I 
 introduced Miss Campbell and Quentin. I hoped the 
 advent of strangers would keep Miss Campbell quiet 
 and assist her to control herself. And I did not fore- 
 see that these particular strangers, their manner, their 
 clothes and their racial kinship would lash her into 
 a still more furious rage. 
 
 Mrs. David looked the same as ever, big, kind, 
 clever, amusing and opulent. Even on an August 
 day, without furs and wearing gloves that covered 
 her rings she managed to look splendid. So did 
 Isabella. She had altered, I thought, both outwardly 
 and inwardly. She looked at peace with the world, 
 was a little stouter, and as well dressed as her mother.
 
 IRON COUSINS 311 
 
 "Your servants said you were at Brighton," began 
 Miss Campbell. She had come into the room now 
 and taken a seat. Tibbie was bringing in tea and 
 Quentin was hovering round the tea tray ready to 
 take round the cups I had not filled yet 
 
 Mrs. David had rather narrow intelligent eyes that 
 were usually full of kindness and good humor, but 
 she could half close them and look at anyone she 
 disliked in a withering way. She turned them on 
 Miss Campbell now and said: 
 
 "Frau Crefeld has written to me about you. She 
 believes that you are in Paris with your relations. 
 Why are you here? She says that she provided you 
 with money for your journey and for some weeks 
 after you arrival." 
 
 I started a little at that and looked at Miss Camp- 
 bell who turned as red as a boiled beet and murmured 
 something about having her own reasons and knowing 
 her own affairs. 
 
 "We were in Brighton this morning," said Mrs. 
 David, turning to me, "but my husband wished to 
 be at home. It is an anxious time for business men. 
 No one knows what will happen. When we got back 
 we were told that you were in London again, so Isa- 
 bella and I came off at once to see you. We want 
 you to come to us. You cannot live here alone." 
 
 Miss Campbell laughed unpleasantly, and then be- 
 fore any of us guessed what she was going to say 
 she started on a tirade that began with invective and 
 ended in a hysterical gobble. She probably hardly 
 spoke two minutes but it seemed to me that she would 
 go on forever. 
 
 "J'accuse!" she began again. "J'accuse! That
 
 312 IRON COUSINS 
 
 creature has stolen my lover. She is a Messalina, a 
 coquette. We understood each other till she came 
 and snatched him from me. I am not ashamed to 
 say so although he sits there . . . it is he who should 
 look ashamed. I wish him joy of Caspar Heiling's 
 cast-off . . ." 
 
 "Stop!" said Quentin, and she did stop for the 
 moment with that catch in her throat that is neither 
 a sob nor a laugh, but both together and most dis- 
 agreeable. 
 
 "Meschugge," said Mrs. David, tapping her head 
 significantly. "Jacob Cohen's child. So ist es." 
 
 "Meschugge yourself," cried Miss Campbell vio- 
 lently, all the Whitechapel in her finding sudden 
 vent. "Can she deny it? Can she deny that I found 
 Caspar Heiling with her at ten o'clock at night?" 
 
 "But I don't want to deny it," I said. "He had 
 called." 
 
 "Respectable women do not receive visits from 
 young men of his reputation at ten o'clock at night." 
 
 "But if a respectable woman is in a flat by herself 
 with some children and the bell rings and she goes 
 to the door . . ."I began when Quentin stopped me. 
 
 "There is no need for you to explain what hap- 
 pened," he said. "I have heard the whole story 
 before." 
 
 "So have I," said Mrs. David unexpectedly. "Frau 
 Crefeld told me about it in her letter and said this 
 woman had been doing her best to slander you. That 
 is why I was surprised to find her in your house 
 as your guest. She also told me . . ." 
 
 She hesitated. She looked at Quentin. She 
 touched her forehead again.
 
 IRON COUSINS 313 
 
 "Meschugge," she said once more, but this time she 
 spoke in an undertone and perhaps Miss Campbell did 
 not hear her. She stood a little away from us and 
 seemed to crumple as a child's balloon does when it 
 is pricked. I could not help feeling sorry for her. 
 She had treated me badly, but I had everything and 
 she had nothing. Even her evil mind had not done 
 much harm to anyone except herself. 
 
 "I shall go to Paris," she said suddenly. 
 
 "It is the best thing you can do," said Mrs. David. 
 
 "At once." 
 
 "By to-night's boat." 
 
 "I must be with my own people in the hour of 
 danger." 
 
 "Certainly." 
 
 "But I have no money left. Someone must lend 
 me money." 
 
 There was very nearly an unseemly rush. I began 
 to speak, Quentin put his hand in his pocket, Mrs. 
 David said money should be provided. 
 
 "Checks are no use to-day," Isabella reminded us. 
 "But I have enough gold at home. If Miss Campbell 
 will pack her things and come back with me . . ." 
 
 "I have no things. They have all been stolen," 
 said Miss Campbell, but she went out of the room to 
 see to her hold-all. 
 
 "Frau Crefeld gave her thirty pounds," said Mrs. 
 David. 
 
 "Perhaps she had debts," I suggested. "I gave her 
 ten for her journey." 
 
 "I bought her ticket," said Quentin. 
 
 "I shall buy her one to Paris to-night," said Isa- 
 bella.
 
 3 i4 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "She will arrive in Paris with a comfortable little 
 nest-egg," said Mrs. David. "It is just as well. She 
 may have to run away in a hurry from the Boche. 
 I wish her no harm but I shall be glad when she has 
 gone." 
 
 "So shall I," said Quentin squarely. 
 
 "She is Jacob Cohen's daughter," said Mrs. David. 
 "To me that explains a great deal. I knew him. He 
 was a violent Red and would have slit the throat of 
 everyone in what he called the bourgeoisie. By the 
 bourgeoisie he meant people who succeed in life. He 
 was a complete failure. Any money he got he 
 squandered. His wife died in a garret and his children 
 were often starving. That terrible temperament, en- 
 vious, vain, arrogant, this woman inherits." 
 
 We listened in silence, trying to recover from the 
 painful impressions of the recent scene. Isabella 
 brought us away from it by asking me if I had made 
 up my mind what to do. I looked at Quentin. 
 
 "We are going to be married," he said. 
 
 You can imagine what ensued. Congratulations, 
 questions, embraces, but not the degree of surprise I 
 had expected. 
 
 "Frau Crefeld told me it was likely," said Mrs. 
 David. "She knew that I was deeply attached to you. 
 You must be married from our house." 
 
 Isabella's eyes met mine with understanding. She 
 knew as her mother did not, what was in the minds 
 of our generation in this hour and how every mar- 
 riage for years to come would be celebrated in shadow 
 and in sunshine inextricably mingled. 
 
 "If men are needed Ernest will go," she said to me 
 in a low voice,
 
 IRON COUSINS 315 
 
 Then Miss Campbell reappeared and looked more 
 herself than she had done for some time. She spoke 
 to Mrs. David first and intimated that she was ready 
 and anxious to shake the dust of London off her 
 shoes. 
 
 "I never felt really at home anywhere except in 
 Paris," she said. "I hope I shall be able to get a 
 wire through to my sister. She is very easily upset 
 and if I arrived suddenly well . . . La Joie fait 
 Peur." 
 
 "I think you'll have to risk it," said Mrs. David, 
 twinkling at me. "You can send a wire but whether 
 it will get through . . . I've not had Sally's yet." 
 
 Miss Campbell then made her exit. She allowed 
 Mrs. David and Isabella to precede her downstairs, 
 stood for a moment at the doorway staring at Quentin 
 and me, made a gesture I grieve to relate as if she 
 were spitting at us, said Pfui twice in a clear voice 
 and turned her back on us forever. Quentin shut the 
 door after her, opened the window wider and watched 
 the car depart. 
 
 "What a horrible experience !" he said. 
 
 "For me?" 
 
 "For you! No. For me. What could anything 
 she said matter to you?" 
 
 "But Quentin . . . listen ... I must tell you . . . 
 It was true. She did find Herr Heiling in the flat 
 at ten o'clock one night. He ought not to have come 
 at that hour ... but he did." 
 
 Quentin hardly listened, hardly took an interest 
 
 "You never cared for him," he said. 
 
 "I thought I did . . . for a time." 
 
 "Not as you care for me !"
 
 316 IRON COUSINS 
 
 "How do you know?" 
 
 "I do know." 
 
 We stood by the window together, happy and af 
 peace. In the high road beyond the Square we heard 
 the voices of the paper boys and the rumble of traffic. 
 The future hid its face from us but we had the present 
 hour and that gave us our heart's desire. 
 
 "We will be married very quickly and quietly," said 
 Quentin, "not from anyone's house and not with flags 
 flying. We will go away together . . . until I am 
 called. You will come, Sally." 
 
 I said I would. 
 
 THE END.
 
 II II I 111 I II I II 
 
 A 000030013 7