* J 
 
 4 
 
 ANNB WARNER
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 CALIFORNIA 
 
 SAN DIEGO 
 
 presented to the 
 
 LIBRARY 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIEGO 
 
 by 
 FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY 
 
 Mrs. Edwin W. Meise 
 
 donor
 
 " It s a brand-new one, fer the price-tag s still hangirf on 
 the back." See page 41.
 
 Susan Clegg 
 
 and 
 
 Her Neighbors Affairs 
 
 By Anne Warner If^r^ 
 
 Author of " Susan Clegg and her Friend Mrs. Lathrop" 
 
 " The Rejuvenation of Aunt Mary," 
 
 "A Woman s Will," etc. 
 
 Boston 
 
 Little, Brown, and Company 
 1906
 
 Copyright, 1904, 
 By The Red Book Corporation. 
 
 Copyright, 1905, 
 By The Century Company. 
 
 Copyright, 1905, 
 By The Bobbs Merrill Company. 
 
 Copyright, 1906, 
 By Little, Brown, and Company. 
 
 All rights reserved 
 Published June, 1906 
 
 THfe UNIVERSITY MWSS, CAMBRIDGE, U. fc. A.
 
 PREFATORY NOTE 
 
 "Mrs. Lathrop s Love Affair" appeared in 
 " The Century Magazine in 1905. " The Wolf 
 at Susan s Door " was published in " The 
 Reader s Magazine " in the early part of the 
 present year , and "Old Man Ely s Proposal" 
 is printed for the first time in this volume. 
 The original version of "A Very Superior 
 Man " appeared in " The Red Book"
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 PART FIRST. The Deacon s Dilemma . . 3 
 PART SECOND. The Automobile ... 29 
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL ... 55 
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 PART FIRST. Miss Clegg s Speculations . 95 
 
 PART SECOND. Gran ma Mullins s Woe . 125 
 
 PART THIRD. Lucy Dill s Wedding . .151 
 
 PART FOURTH. Mr. Jilkins s Hat . . .168 
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN ... 183
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE 
 AFFAIR 
 
 PART FIRST 
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 MISS CLEGG was getting her own 
 favorite tea. This always con 
 sisted of itself, toast, and a slice 
 of bacon ; and she apparently took as much 
 pleasure in the preparation of the meal as 
 if it were not the ten thousandth of its kind 
 which she had cooked and eaten. As she 
 hustled and bustled here and there, her 
 manner seemed even more sprightly than 
 usual ; and it was only occasionally, when 
 her glance fell upon the light shining across 
 from her friend s kitchen window opposite, 
 that her cheerfulness knew any diminution. 
 3
 
 MRS. LATH HOP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 But there seemed to be some sad influence 
 in the effect of the rays of Mrs. Lathrop s 
 lamp on this particular night ; and even if 
 its effect on Susan was merely transitory, 
 it was not the less marked each time that 
 it occurred. 
 
 Once, just as she was carrying the teapot 
 from the stove to the table, she voiced her 
 thoughts aloud. 
 
 " I shall have to tell her to-night, so I 
 may s well make up my mind to it," she 
 said firmly ; and then, after drawing up a 
 chair by making a hook out of one of her 
 feet, she sat down and sought strength for 
 the ordeal in a more than ordinarily hearty 
 supper. 
 
 It was a bleak, cold night in early No 
 vember, and the wind whistled drearily 
 outside. There was a chill atmosphere 
 everywhere, and a hint of coming winter. 
 
 " I shall wear my cap an my cardigan 
 jacket to go over there," the neighborly 
 4
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 disposed Susan reflected as she carefully 
 drank the last of the tea. " Dear, dear ! 
 but it s goin* to be a terrible shock to her, 
 poor thing ! " 
 
 Then she arose and carefully and scru 
 pulously put the kitchen back into its cus 
 tomary order. Having removed the last 
 trace of any one s ever having cooked or 
 eaten there, she lighted a candle and sought 
 her wraps in the icy upper regions of the 
 house. As she passed the parlor door she 
 shivered involuntarily. 
 
 " I expect he was cold," she murmured ; 
 " I know I was. But I could n t see my 
 way to sittin in the kitchen with a 
 caller : I never was one to do nothin 
 improper, an I was n t goin to begin at 
 my age." 
 
 Then she went upstairs and got out the 
 cap and jacket. It was a man s cap, with 
 ear-tabs, and not at all in keeping with 
 the fair Susan s features ; but she gave no 
 
 5
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 heed to such matters and tied it on with 
 two firm jerks. 
 
 " I jus do hope/ she ejaculated as she 
 struggled into the cardigan, " t she won t 
 faint. It ll surely come very sudden on 
 her, too, an all my talk s to the advantage 
 o stayin unmarried, an the times an times 
 
 I ve said as we was always goin to stay jus 
 
 i > 
 so 
 
 The termination of the jacket-buttoning 
 terminated the soliloquy also. Miss Clegg 
 went downstairs and warmed her hands at 
 the kitchen stove, preparatory to locking 
 up. Ten minutes later she was tapping at 
 Mrs. Lathrop s door. 
 
 " I must n t tell her too quick," she re 
 minded herself as she waited to be let in ; 
 " I must lead up to it like they do after a 
 railroad smash. Mrs. Lathrop ain t what 
 you call over-nervous ; still, she has got 
 feelin s, an in a time like this they ought 
 to be a little steered out for. If she saw 
 6
 
 him comin in or goin out, that 11 help 
 some." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop not answering to the tap, 
 the caller knocked again, and then tried to 
 open the door from without, but found it 
 to be bolted inside. 
 
 " I s pose she s asleep, with her feet in 
 the oven," Susan said in a spirit of rebellion 
 and disapproval mixed, and then she battered 
 madly for entrance. 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop was asleep, and did have 
 her feet in the oven. She was particularly 
 fond of finishing up her daily desultori- 
 ness in that manner. It took time slightly 
 to disturb her slumber, more time yet 
 to awaken her fully, and still again more 
 time to get her to the door and open 
 it. 
 
 " Well, Susan ! " she said in a tone of 
 cordial surprise when she saw who it was ; 
 "the idea of" 
 
 " He wanted as I should see you to-night, 
 7
 
 MRS. LA THROWS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 rain or shine," said the friend, advancing 
 into the middle of the kitchen. 
 
 " Who wanted ? " 
 
 " The deacon. Did n t you see him this 
 afternoon ? " 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop furtively rubbed her eyes. 
 
 " Oh, yes, yes J " she began. 
 
 " Well, he wanted as I should come right 
 over an* tell you to-night. An I told him 
 f t I would." J 
 
 " Tell meswh " 
 
 " I shall break it to you as easy as I can, 
 Mrs. Lathrop ; but there s no denyin as 
 it 11 come very sharp on you at the end." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop ceased to rub her eyes, and 
 a vague apprehension opened them effec 
 tually instead. 
 
 " I presume, if you saw him at all, you 
 saw how long he stayed ? " 
 
 Yes, I " 
 
 " All of two hours, an his talk was as 
 dumfounderin on me as it will be on you. 
 8
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 I d never thought o any such doin s in this 
 direction. I always looked on as a complete 
 outsider, did n t you ? " 
 
 " I don t un " 
 
 Susan had shed her jacket and cap while 
 talking ; she now took a chair and surveyed 
 her friend with the air of one who has pain 
 to inflict and yet is firm. 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop looked frankly troubled. 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you d ought to 
 know me well enough, after all these years, 
 to know as I shall make this as easy as I can 
 for you. Perhaps the best way 11 be to go 
 way back to the beginnin an speak o 
 when Mrs. White died. It ll be a proper 
 leadin up, for if she had n t died, he d 
 never a* come to see me this afternoon, an 
 I d never a come to see you to-night. 
 Howsumsever, she did die ; an , bein dead, 
 I will say for her husband as you don t find 
 chick or child in town to deny as a nicer, 
 tidier, more biddable little man never lived ; 
 9
 
 MRS. LATH HOP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 n s far as my personal feelin s go, I should 
 think t any woman might consider it nothin 
 but a joy to get a man s is always so long on 
 the door-mat *n so busy with his tie s the 
 deacon is. He got some wore out toward 
 the last o* her illness, for she was give 
 up in September n died in July ; but 
 even then I ve heard Mrs. Allen say s it 
 was jus pretty to see him putterin aroun 
 busy s a bee, tryin to keep dusted up for 
 the funeral any minute." Susan paused to 
 sigh. 
 
 " Seems like she did n t die but yester 
 day," she said reminiscently ; " don t seem 
 like it can possibly be over a year. I never 
 can but remember them last days : they 
 stand out afore me like a needle in a camel s 
 eye. Nobody could n t say s everythin 
 was n t done; they had two doctors n a bill 
 t the drug-store, but the end come at last. 
 She begin to sink n sink, n young Dr. 
 Brown said that way o sinkin away was 
 10
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 always, to his mind, one o the most unfor 
 tunate features o dyin . He said he knowed 
 lots o people s d be alive n well now if 
 they could just o been kept from that 
 sinkin away. Old Dr. Carter told Mrs. 
 Jilkins his theory was t while the pulse 
 beats there s life ; but even he had to admit 
 s Mrs. White was about beat out. N it 
 was so, too ; for she died while they was 
 talkin , n the deacon just beginnin on 
 cleanin the pantry shelves. He had to put 
 all the dishes back on top o the old papers; 
 n any one could see how hard it was for 
 him, for he d counted on havin everythin 
 spick n span at the end. 
 
 " Well, that was a busy time ! It s too 
 bad you have to miss so much, Mrs. Lath- 
 rop ; now, that day at Mrs. White s would 
 a done you a world o good. There was 
 a great deal o company, n the newspaper 
 man led off, comin to know what she died 
 of. He explained he had to know right 
 ii
 
 MRS. LATHROFS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 away, cause if she did n t die o nothin in 
 particular, they needed the extra line for 
 stars to show up a cod-liver oil advertise 
 ment. I said the deacon was the one 
 to ask, n we hunted high n low for him 
 until Mrs. Jilkins remembered s he d took 
 them keys Mrs. White always had under 
 her pillow n gone up attic to see what 
 trunks they fitted. Mrs. Macy had to 
 holler him down ; n , my ! but he was 
 snappy. He said, Ask Dr. Brown, n 
 then he clumb straight back up his ladder ; 
 n Dr. Brown said s she died o the com 
 plete seclusion of her aspirational n bron- 
 choid tubes. I could see t the newspaper 
 man did n t know how to spell it, n he 
 told young Dr. Brown any such doin s d 
 squeeze the cod-liver oil over into next 
 week, which could n t be considered for a 
 minute. N then he went on to say t if 
 folks want to die o more n one line, they ve 
 got to do it Tuesday night, or at the very 
 12
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 latest Wednesday afore ten o clock, if it s 
 to be got in right. 
 
 " Well, next come the funeral ; n I will 
 say right here n now t the way s the 
 widows closed in around Deacon White 
 was enough to send any man up a ladder. 
 There was Mrs. Macy s was actually ready 
 n waitin to lay Mrs. White out afore she 
 was dead. N Mrs. Macy isn t one s any 
 one d rashly set about makin love to, I 
 should n t suppose. I ve always under 
 stood s there s a while t they sit on laps ; 
 n the lap ain t built s could take pleasure 
 in holdin Mrs. Macy. But she was on 
 hand, all the same, n s beamin s if she 
 stood a show. 
 
 " N then there was Gran ma Mullins ! 
 I was perfectly dumb did up at the doin s 
 o Gran ma Mullins. I d always looked 
 on her s a very deservin mother to Hiram, 
 n one s any one c d trust s to dough 
 nuts for sociables ; but when she come to 
 13
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 Mrs. White s funeral with her hair frizzed, 
 I give up. Gran ma Mullins at her age 
 
 at the funeral of a widower s dead wife 
 n her hair frizzed ! Well, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 if I was on my way to my own hangin I 
 sh d still say t to my order o thinkin it 
 was n t proper mournin . 
 
 " Not s there was n t others up to the 
 same doin s. The first night Mrs. Allen 
 sent Polly over with one dish o ice-cream 
 n one slice o cake for the deacon s supper, 
 
 n me there s plain s day sittin up al 
 ternate with Mr. Jilkins. N Mrs. Allen 
 didn t make no bones about it, neither; she 
 said frank n open t her disapp intment 
 over Sam Duruy d aged Polly right up to 
 where only a elderly man d be anywise fit 
 f r her, n she said she was teachin her 
 1 Silver threads among the gold n how to 
 read aloud t the tip-top o your voice. I 
 did n t discourage her none. I told her t 
 there was n t many like the deacon, n that 
 
 14
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 come true right off; fer we heard a awful 
 crash, n it was then t he fell through the 
 ceilin into Phoebe s room n a pretty job 
 we had sweepin up his dust. 
 
 " The minister come in while we was 
 sweepin . He certainly does come to call 
 always at very uncomfortable times ; but 
 I suppose everybody s got to have a 
 cross, n ours s him. Anyway, he wanted 
 to know about if it d be agreeable to the 
 family to have Mrs. White discoursed on 
 s a faithful handmaid, cause he did n t 
 want to have to alter her after he d got 
 her all copied. He said there was the choice 
 o a bondwoman o the Lord n a light in 
 Israel, too. We had to go n holler the 
 deacon a long time, n finally we found 
 him out settin a hen. I did n t think s 
 he d ought to a set a hen the day o his 
 wife s funeral I did n t think much o 
 settin hens any time ; it s set n set, n 
 then half the time all you get is a weasel. 
 15
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 " Well, he come in at last, V he would n t 
 hear o havin his wife called a handmaid, 
 cause, he said, it was him s had always 
 done all the work. The minister said it 
 was astonishin what Liza Em ly could get 
 through in a mornin , n then he coughed ; 
 n Mrs. Macy said t Liza Em ly was very 
 helpful for a child o her age, n then she 
 coughed ; n then the deacon went back to 
 his hen, n the minister sighed n went, 
 too." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop herself sighed as Susan 
 paused. 
 
 "I remember " she said slowly. 
 
 " It was a nice funeral, though," her 
 friend continued ; " I never see a nicer one, 
 even if Mrs. White was n t able to look 
 after nothin herself. Mr. Kimball got 
 down to business like it d always been his 
 business, n the way he hustled things 
 through was a lesson to them s takes a 
 whole afternoon to one member of a family. 
 16
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 He took all the table-leaves n laid em 
 from chair to chair, so s everybody had a 
 seat; n then, s folks come in, he had Billy 
 hand em each a fan with his advertisement 
 on one side n two rows o readin on the 
 other, so s no one got dull waitin . 
 
 " N then I never shall forget what a 
 neat job he done with the dove. You 
 know s well s I do t it s hard on the 
 dove, n always has been hard on the 
 dove, to go to every funeral n be the win 
 dow advertisement between deaths. I Ve 
 told you before how it was freely remarked 
 in the square, after Mrs. Dill s burial, as 
 the way the dove looked there was suthin 
 borderin on scandalous. He d hovered 
 with a motto till his wings was s dirty 
 inside s outside, n they d tipped his 
 head back to look up resurrected or front 
 to look down dejected till at Mrs. Dill s 
 all he was fit for was to sit on the foot 
 of her n mourn, with the hat-pins s held 
 17
 
 MRS. LATHROP\S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 him steady stickin out in all directions. 
 Some folks as was really very sorry about 
 Mrs. Dill most died when they see the 
 dove, V Mr. Kimball (he had n t bought 
 the business then) remarked openly s his 
 view was as he d better go to two or three 
 baptisms afore he tried another funeral^ 
 Such bein the case, it was no more n 
 natural s we sh d all feel a little worried 
 thinkin o Mrs. White s bein next to 
 stand the dove ; n Mrs. Sperrit said 
 frank an open t to her order o thinkin 
 the deacon d ought to jus forbid it. We 
 all saw the sense in her view ; but even 
 if we did, you know s well s I do it 
 d be a pretty delicate matter in this c m- 
 munity to be the first to deliberately skip 
 the dove." 
 
 "I think he s pret " said Mrs. 
 Lathrop, musingly. 
 
 " I won t say t I don t think so, too," 
 said Susan ; " but I never was one to turn 
 18
 
 a blind eye to the dirt on the outside o 
 nothin , s you know to your cost, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, n such bein the case, I cer 
 tainly did feel to regret s the dove d had 
 such long wear n tear afore it come Mrs. 
 White s turn to be sat on. I was fond o 
 Mrs. White ; we had n t spoke in years, 
 owin to her bein too deaf to hear, but 
 what I see of her from the street was 
 always pleasant, n I did n t like to think 
 s maybe anythin d be left out o the last 
 of her. So we let it all go, n we certainly 
 had our reward for so doin when we see 
 the result; for Mr. Kimball did a fine job 
 then n there, n when he was dry-cleaned 
 inside n out, n his beak n feet painted, 
 n new beads for eyes well, all I can say 
 is t I wish you d been there to see him, 
 that s all. He took his wings completely 
 off, so s to give him the air o bein folded 
 up ; n then he stuck a gilt arrow in his 
 heart n laid him cornerways on the dea- 
 19
 
 MRS. LATHROP^S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 con s cross o tiger-lilies. N he did n t 
 stop t that, neither ; he took his wings n 
 sewed em to each side of a red heart left 
 over from a euchre-party, n laid the whole 
 on Mr. Jilkins s piller o pansies, so the 
 deacon could n t in conscience feel t any- 
 thin s he d paid for was wasted. I Ve 
 said all along, n I ll say ag in here n 
 now, t it was all one o the prettiest things 
 I ever see; n I wasn t the only one s felt 
 that way, for I ve heard lots o folks say 
 since s they 11 want the dove just so for 
 themselves." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop turned a little uneasily; 
 Susan did not appear to notice the indica 
 tion of a possible impatience. 
 
 " It was all a great success," she went 
 on calmly. "The minister s discourse was 
 very fine ; only when he prayed for conso 
 lation we all knowed he meant Liza Em ly. 
 All but the deacon, that is. I guess the 
 deacon was thinkin more o Gran ma Mul- 
 20
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 lins n any one else t first; Mrs. Jilkins 
 told me he asked how old she was, comin 
 back in the carriage." 
 
 "I allers thought " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " So did a good many people. I don t 
 know s that was surprising either ; for it s 
 a well-known fact s they was fond o each 
 other forty or fifty years back. She s got 
 a daguerre type o him s is so old t you 
 can t be very sure whether it s him, after 
 all. She says she ain t positive herself, 
 cause she had one o her cousin s shot 
 himself by accident on his way to the war, 
 n the wreath o flowers stamped on the 
 red velvet inside was just the same in both 
 cases. You have to go by the light n tip 
 him a good while to say for sure whether 
 he s got a collar on or not, n you could n t 
 swear to his havin on anythin else if you 
 was to turn him round n round till dooms 
 day. "She had that picture in a box with 
 her first hair n Hiram s first tooth n a nut 
 21
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 t she said the deacon did a hole in with 
 his knife when they was children together 
 one day. She showed em all to me one 
 time when I was there; I didn t think 
 much o the nut, I must say. But I will say 
 as it seemed to make her happy, so I jus 
 remarked t it was surprisin how foolish we 
 got s we got old, n let it go t that. It 
 was a while after s he took her to Mead- 
 ville to the circus ; it s a well-known fact s 
 she was fool enough to look upon bein 
 took to a circus s next thing to bein asked 
 out n out. She come up to tell me all 
 about it afterward." 
 
 " N yet " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " It just shows the vanity o feelin sure 
 o mortal man," continued Susan. " She 
 was sure, n Mrs. Allen was sure, n the 
 minister had faith ; n then there was Mrs. 
 Macy, too. There was a while when it 
 looked to me s if swoopin down n then 
 pinnin flat c d catch anythin, t Mrs. 
 
 22
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 Macy d have the deacon, she was so ever 
 lastingly on hand. Why, I never walked 
 by his house but I met her, V that was 
 far too often to ever by any chance be 
 called a accident. But she was too open ; 
 my own experience is t bein frank n free 
 is time throwed away on men. If anythin 
 serious is to be done with a man, it s got 
 to be done from behind a woodpile. I 
 had some little dealin s with men in the 
 marryin line once, n I found em very 
 shy ; tamin gophers is sleepin in the sun 
 beside grabbin a man s dead against bein 
 grabbed. I don t say s it can t be done, 
 but I will say t it s hard in the first n 
 harder in the last, when you ve got him n 
 he s got you, like the minister s got his 
 wife." 
 
 "But Mrs. Macy ain t " protested 
 Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " No ; n it s her own fault, too. He 
 told me this afternoon s the way she smiled 
 23
 
 MRS. LATHROP"S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 on him right in the first days made the 
 marrow run up V down his back. He 
 said he c d a stood lots o things, but no 
 human bein but gets mad bein forever 
 smiled at. Then she knit him things. He 
 says she knit him a pair o snap-on slippers 
 s Heaven 11 surely forgive him if he ever 
 see the like of. He said they stuck out s 
 far behind s in front, n all in the world t 
 he c d do was to sit perfectly still in the 
 middle of em n content himself with 
 viewin em s slippers. But he says the 
 worst was, she cooked him things ; he says 
 he won t say what he s paid young Dr. 
 Brown for advice regardin things s she s 
 cooked him, not to speak o that time he 
 cut himself so bad pryin at one o her 
 undercrusts. N, just between you n me, 
 Mrs. Lathrop, he says it s a secret s he will 
 carry to his grave unsealed as she give him 
 a crock o gherkins on his birthday, with a 
 pair o buttonhole scissors at the bottom. 
 24
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 " He said he jus felt he d enjoy to have 
 the revenge o stayin single. But he said 
 it did n t take him long to see s stayin 
 single is a privilege s no woman s goin 
 to allow to a man whose wife s dead. He 
 says the way he s been chased s all but 
 killin . He says there s Mrs. Allen firm 
 Polly at him when he goes over there for 
 his dinner, n the minister tellin him every 
 Sunday n prayer-meetin how Liza Em ly 
 is shootin up. He says Gran ma Mullins 
 is forever referrin to his youth, n Mrs. 
 Macy is forever smilin . He says he could 
 easy keep his house alone, he says he 
 understands a house from moth-balls to 
 quicklime, but they won t let him. He 
 says he s not only town property, but he s 
 town talk s well. He says Mrs. Craig 
 stopped him in the square n asked him 
 point-blank if he d remembered to put on 
 his flannels day before yesterday. 
 
 " I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, it s plain t 
 25
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 that man has suffered. If you d a seen 
 him, your heart would a softened like 
 mine did. N him such a neat little bald- 
 headed man without any wishin o anybody 
 anythin ! I give him a lot o sympathy. 
 I told him t I d knowed what it was to 
 have a lot o folks seem bound to marry 
 you in the teeth o your own will. I told 
 him the whole community was witness to 
 how I was set upon after father s death 
 n well-nigh drove mad. He said he wished 
 he had my grit V maybe he d make a try 
 to fight like I did, but he said he was beat 
 out. He said if he is n t up n the smoke 
 pourin out o his chimney at six sharp, all 
 the single women in town is lined up in 
 front to know what s happened. He says 
 if he was married, it goes without sayin s 
 they d both be allowed to sleep in peace. 
 He says if he lights a candle at night, he 
 hears of it next day. He said if he gets a 
 letter in a strange hand, it s all over town 
 26
 
 THE DEACON S DILEMMA 
 
 s some strange woman s made his acquaint 
 ance. He says the whole world feels free 
 to dust his hat or w isk his coat if he stops 
 to chat a minute. He says, such bein the 
 case, he s made up his mind t he s got to 
 get married. He says he s considered very 
 carefully. He says he knows jus the kind 
 o woman. He says he s been fretted, V 
 he don t never want to be fretted no more." 
 
 Miss Clegg paused, as if the crisis had 
 arrived. She surveyed her friend with a 
 meaning eye, and Mrs. Lathrop rather 
 shrunk together and endeavored to look 
 courageous. 
 
 " Up to now s been all preparin your 
 mind. Do you feel prepared ? Are you 
 ready ? " 
 
 " Yes, I " gasped the victim. 
 
 " Left to myself, I sh d a waited till 
 mornin , but he wanted you to know to 
 night. He know s I m your dearest friend. 
 He said if I didn t tell you right off, it 
 27
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 might get to you some other way n be a 
 awful blow. He said he had to go to 
 Meadville to-morrow, so he might mention 
 it down-town to-night, n most any one 
 might let it drop in on you. I see the 
 p int o his reasonin , n so " 
 
 " Susan," said the friend, her feelings 
 completely overflowing all bounds " oh, 
 Susan, are you really a-goin to marry " 
 
 Susan s expression altered triumphantly. 
 
 " Why, Mrs. Lathrop," she said, with 
 keen enjoyment, " it ain t me s he wants 
 to marry ; it s you ! " 
 
 28
 
 PART SECOND 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 MRS. LATHROP collapsed back 
 ward and downward, her eyes 
 closed, her mouth opened, her 
 hands fell at her sides, her feet flew out in 
 front of her. Never in the history of the 
 world were the words " This is so sudden ! " 
 more vividly illustrated. 
 
 Susan sat bolt upright opposite and sur 
 veyed her friend s emotion with an expres 
 sion of calm and interested neutrality. 
 
 After a while Mrs. Lathrop s eyes began 
 to open and her mouth to close ; she gath 
 ered her hands into her lap, and her feet 
 under her skirt, saying weakly : 
 
 " Well, I never hear nothin to beat " 
 "I ain t surprised tyour takin it to heart 
 29
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 like that," said the imparter of news. " I 
 may tell you in confidence t I was nigh to 
 laid out myself in the first hearin of it. I 
 looked upon it jus as you did, an jus as 
 anybody in their common senses naturally 
 would. It was n t no more n was to be 
 expected that me, bein* neat like himself 
 an unmarried, too, sh d a struck him s 
 just about what he was lookin for. I m 
 younger n Gran ma Mullins n Mrs. Macy, 
 an older n Liza Em ly an Polly Ann. 
 I Ve got property, n nobody can t say s I 
 have n t always done my duty by whatever 
 crossed my path, even if was nothin but 
 snow in the winter. All the time t he was 
 talkin I was thinkin , n I tell you, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, it s pretty hard work to smile n 
 look interested in a man s meanderin s while 
 you re tryin to figure on how you can will 
 your money safe away from him. I was n t 
 calc latin on havin Deacon White get any 
 of my money, I c n tell you, an I meant to 
 30
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 have that understood right in the beginnin - 
 Maybe he wouldn t a liked it; but if he 
 had n t V liked it, he c d a give me right 
 square up. Lord knows, I never was after 
 him with no net ; I don t set about gettin 
 what I want that way. N I never for one 
 minute have thought o wantin the deacon. 
 I m used to lookin everythin square in the 
 face, n no one as has got eyes could look 
 the deacon in the face n want him. N the 
 more they turned him round n round, 
 the less they d want him. It ain t in rea 
 son s the friend could be found to deny t 
 he s as bow-legged as they make em. An 
 then there s his ears ! A woman could, 
 maybe, overlook the bow-legs if she held 
 the newspaper high enough ; but I don t 
 believe s any one in kingdom come could 
 overlook them ears. Mr. Kimball says 
 Belgian hares an Deacon White s both 
 designed to be catched by their ears. I 
 looked at him to-day n figured on maybe
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 tryin* to tame em in a little with a tape 
 nightcap ; but then I says to myself, I says : 
 No ; if he s to be my husband, I 11 prob 
 ably have so much to overlook that them 
 ears 11 soon be mice to the mountain o the 
 rest, an so I give up the idea. I had 
 bother enough with tryin to see where I d 
 put him, fer I certainly would n t consider 
 movin down to his house for a minute, n 
 it was a question s to a stove in father s 
 room or givin him double windows for a 
 weddin present. 
 
 " N then, all of a sudden, he come out 
 with wantin you ! 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I jumped I 
 really did. Him so tidy n goin out on 
 the porch half a dozen times a day to brush 
 up the seeds under the bird-cage n 
 wantin you! I could n t believe my ears at 
 first, n he talked quite a while, n I didn t 
 hear a word he said. N then, when I did 
 find my tongue, I jus sat right down n 
 32
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 did my duty by him. Mrs. Lathrop, you 
 know s well s I do how fond I am o you ; 
 but you know, too, s well s I do t no 
 woman s calls herself a Christian c d sit 
 silent an let a man keep on supposin t he 
 c d be happy with you. I talked kind, 
 but I took no fish-bones out o the truth. 
 I give him jus my own observation, n* no 
 more. I told him t it was n t in me to try 
 to fool even a deacon ; an so when I said 
 frank and free t even your very cats soon 
 give up washin their faces, he c d depend 
 upon its bein so. I says to him, I says : 
 c Deacon White, there s lots o worse things 
 n bein unmarried, n if you marry Mrs. 
 Lathrop you 11 learn every last one of em. 
 Your first wife was deaf, I says, n Mrs. 
 Lathrop c n hear. She s a very good hearer, 
 too, I says (for you know s I d never be 
 one to run you down, Mrs. Lathrop); c but 
 anythin s is more of a effort than listenin 
 never gets done in her house. You re tidy 
 3 33
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 in your ways, Deacon White/ I says; any 
 one as s ever passed when you was hangin 
 out your dish-towels d swear to that ; an 
 such bein the case, how c d you ever be 
 happy with them s spreads their wash on 
 the currant-bushes or lets it blow to the 
 dogs ? Maybe I was a little hard on him, 
 but I felt s it was then or never, n I tried 
 my best to save him. It ain t in nature for 
 them s goes unhooked to ever realize what 
 their unhookedness is to them s hooks, an 
 so it d be hopeless to try to let you see why 
 my sympathies was so with the deacon ; but, 
 to make a long tale short, he jus hung on 
 like grim death, n in the end I had to 
 give up. He said I was your friend, an he 
 wanted s I sh d explain every thin to you; 
 an to-morrow, when he gets back from 
 Meadville, he ll come up an get his answer. 
 He did n t ask f I thought you d have him, 
 cause o course he knowed you d have 
 him s well s I did. He said s he sh d 
 34
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 mention it about town to keep any women 
 from takin the same train with him. He 
 says he has n t been anywhere by himself 
 for ever so long. He says jus as soon s 
 he s married he s goin off for a good long 
 trip, all alone." 
 
 Susan ceased speaking for a little ; Mrs. 
 Lathrop looked dazed and dubious. 
 
 " It s so unex " she said slowly. 
 
 " The beginnin o gettin married always 
 is," said her friend; "but it s all there is 
 about it s is even unexpected. It s all cut 
 an dried from there on. Once you take 
 a man, nothin s ever sudden no more. 
 Folks expects all sorts o pleasant surprises ; 
 everybody seems to get married for better, 
 an then get along for worse. They begin by 
 imaginin a lot n then lookin for the thing 
 to be way beyond the imaginin ; it ain t long 
 afore they see t their imaginin was way be 
 yond the thing, n after that they soon have 
 it all on top o them to carry till they die." 
 35
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 " I never was no great hand at marryin ," 
 said Mrs. Lathrop, faintly. " I was pro 
 pelled into it the first " 
 
 " Well, nobody ain t propellin you this 
 time," said Miss Clegg. "I m hangin 
 back on your skirts, with my heels stuck in 
 s far s they 11 go." She rose as she spoke. 
 
 "I don t know what I shall " began 
 the older woman, looking up at the younger. 
 
 " You ve got all to-morrow to decide. 
 He won t be back till five o clock. I 
 should n t worry, f I was you. O course, 
 it s your last love affair, probably, n you 
 want to get s much s you can out of it ; 
 but I don t see no call to fret any. He 
 ain t frettin . He s jus in a hurry to get 
 married, n get rid o Gran ma Mullins n 
 Mrs. Macy an Polly Ann an Liza Em ly, 
 n get started on that nice long trip he s 
 goin on alone." 
 
 " I shall think " murmured Mrs. 
 Lathrop. f 
 
 36
 
 Susan was decking herself for going 
 home. 
 
 " I won t be over in the mornin ," she 
 said as she tied on her cap ; " I ve got 
 errands down-town ; but I 11 come over 
 after dinner." 
 
 " Good-by," said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Good-by," said her friend. 
 
 It was somewhat warmer the next morn 
 ing. Mrs. Lathrop began the day on a cup 
 of extra-strong coffee, and continued it in an 
 unusual mood of clearing up. Pier kitchen 
 was really very close to exemplary when two 
 o clock arrived, and she took up her knitting 
 to wait for the promised visitation. 
 
 It matured about half-past the hour. 
 The visitor brought her knitting, too. 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Lathrop," she said pleas 
 antly on entering, " if it wasn t for the auto 
 mobile, you n the deacon d surely be the 
 talk o the town this day." 
 37
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 "Whose aut ?" 
 
 " Nobody s ; jus two men s. One steers 
 in goggles, n the other jumps in n out 
 n settles for the damages. I see it first on 
 my way down-town this morning ; only, as 
 a matter of fact, I did n t see it, n it was 
 nigh to tootin right over me, only I jumped 
 in the nick o time, n it went over my over 
 shoe an split the heel open. I c n assure 
 you I was glad I was wearin father s over 
 shoes, as c n come off so easy, when I saw 
 the split heel ; an them men was as polite s 
 could be, churned backward right off, n 
 settled with me for a quarter. I can easy 
 sew up the heel myself, so I went on down 
 town feelin* pretty good. There ain t many 
 things about me t I can sew up as I 
 would n t split for a quarter any day. The 
 automobile went on ahead, n by the time 
 I got to the square it had had time to run 
 down the minister. 
 
 " He was crossin from Mr. Kimball s to 
 38
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 Mr. Dill s, an stopped short for fear it d 
 run over him. Not knowin the minister s 
 make-up, they d calc lated on his goin on 
 when he see a automobile comin ; an so it 
 was all over him in a jiffy. I don know 
 what his wife 11 ever say, f r his hat is com 
 pletely bu st. However, they settled with 
 him hat, feelin s, an all for ten dollars, 
 an he went on over to Mr. Dill s. I said 
 t if I was his wife I d anchor him in 
 the middle o the square n let automobiles 
 run up n down him all day long at that 
 price. I said it to Mrs. Craig; she come 
 up to ask me f it was really true about you 
 an the deacon. She says no one can believe 
 it o the deacon. She says Mr. Jilkins 
 was in town last night, n he was very mad 
 when he heard of it. He thinks it s a re 
 flection. He says folks 11 say it looks like 
 his sister was n t wife enough for one man. 
 I told her nobody could n t say nothin 
 about it t I would n t agree to, considerm 
 39
 
 MRS. LATHROFS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 your age an his ears. I told her t it 
 did n t seem to me s marryin was anyways 
 necessary to the business o the world. If 
 mother d never married, neither she nor 
 me d ever of had all them years o work 
 with father. She says this about you V 
 the deacon was stirrin up the town a lot. 
 She says there s a good deal o bitter feelin . 
 Seems Mrs. Allen never charged him 
 nothin for his meals on account o Polly, 
 an Gran ma Mullins made him a whole set 
 o shirts for nothin on account o the nut 
 n the daguerre type, n Mrs. Macy did 
 up all his currants fer nothin on account o 
 herself. She says Mr. Kimball says he 
 wonders what the deacon s a-expectin to 
 get out o you. 
 
 " We went across to look at the auto 
 mobile together. It was standin still in 
 front o the drug-store, n the men was in 
 buyin cigarettes an gettin their bottles 
 filled. I guess half the community was 
 40
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 standin round lookin at it an discussin it. 
 It s a brand-new one, for the price-tag 
 s still hangin on the back. Billy said it 
 was a bargain, but it struck me s pretty 
 high. They had a wheel s d come off 
 hung on behind, n nobody could n t see 
 where it d come off of. Mr. Fisher got 
 down an crawled in underneath, an while 
 he was under there the men come out. 
 They asked what Mr. Fisher was tryin to 
 do, an when Billy told em, they laughed. 
 
 " They said that wheel was in case o acci 
 dents. John Bunyan spoke right up an 
 said, Why, does the accidents ever happen 
 to the automobile? 1 N the men laughed 
 some more. Then they got in n started 
 to start, n it would n start. It snuffed n 
 chuffed to beat the band, but it would n t 
 budge for love nor money nor the man in 
 goggles. He jerked n twisted, n then 
 all of a sudden it run backward, n went 
 over Mr. Dill s dog s was asleep in the
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 way, n into the lamp-post, n bu st the 
 post off short. Well, you never see the 
 beat ! They wanted to settle the dog for 
 the same s the minister, but Mr. Dill 
 would n t hear to it for a minute, cause he 
 said his dog was worth suthin . Judge 
 Fitch come up n said the town d want 
 three dollars for the lamp-post, n they 
 paid that, n then they tried to arbitrate the 
 dog; n in the end Mr. Dill took eleven 
 dollars an fifteen cents, cause his collar s 
 still good. Then they got into the auto 
 mobile again an twisted the crank the other 
 way, an it kited across the square an right 
 over Gran ma Mullins. She was on her 
 way to ask if it was true about you n the 
 deacon, an it was plain s she wa n t in no 
 disposition to enjoy bein run over by 
 nothin . I never see her so nigh to bein 
 real put out ; n even after they d settled 
 with her for five dollars, she still did n t look 
 a bit pleased or happy. Mrs. Craig n me 
 42
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 went with her into Mr. Shores n helped 
 her straighten her bonnet n take a drink o 
 water, n then she said she s posed it was 
 true about you an the deacon, n t, so 
 help her Heaven, she never would V 
 believed s either o you had so little sense. 
 She said to tell you t all she s got to say is 
 t if he deceives you like he s deceived her, 
 you 11 know how it feels to have him 
 deceive you s well s she knows how it 
 feels to of had him deceive her. She says 
 she s goin to take a hammer an smash 
 that nut n that daguerre type into a thou 
 sand smithereens this very afternoon." 
 
 " I m sorry s " said Mrs. Lathrop, 
 regretfully. 
 
 " While we was sittin there talkin , in 
 come Mrs. Macy, with her cat over her 
 arm, to ask if there was enough of it left to 
 make a muff. Seems t when the automo 
 bile headed out o town they come on the 
 cat crossin the road, n afore she knew s 
 43
 
 MRS. LATHROPS LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 there was a death in the family they was 
 tryin to settle the cat at a dollar. Said 
 she never see the beat o the way the cat 
 was ironed flat ; she jus stood n stared, 
 n then they offered her two dollars. She 
 took the two dollars an come to town, n 
 f there ain t enough for a muff, she 11 have 
 a cap with the tail over her ear. She wanted 
 to know if it was true about you n the 
 deacon, an she tried to swing the cat around 
 s if she did n t care, but it was easy seen 
 she did. She said she would n t have the 
 deacon for a gift, n I told her s there was 
 others havin to admit the same thing. I 
 says to her, I says: There s a good many 
 in this town s won t have the deacon, but it 
 ain t for lack o tryin to get him, Lord 
 knows. Jus then we see the man with the 
 cap s does the settlin for damages tearin by 
 the window afoot. We run to the door an 
 sec him grab Mr. Sweet s bicycle n ride 
 away on it ; n it did n t take no great 
 44
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 brains to guess s suthin* fresh had happened 
 under the automobile. A little while after 
 the man with goggles an Mr. Jilkins come 
 walkin into the square, a-leadin Mr. Jil- 
 kins s horse. The horse was pretty well 
 splintered up, n the harness was hangin* 
 all out o tune ; the man with goggles 
 looked to be upset, n Mr. Jilkins looked 
 like he d been upset n was awful mad over 
 it. Every one went to know what it was ; 
 an I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, s I never hear 
 such a story o unforeseen miseries pilin up. 
 Seems t when Mr. Jilkins went home las 
 night n told his wife about you n the 
 deacon, they decided to come to town right 
 off to-day n try to argue common sense 
 into him. Mr. Jilkins said t he was n t 
 afraid o the property goin out o the 
 family, cause you n the deacon could n t 
 naturally expect nothin but grandchildren 
 at your age; but he said they jus didn t 
 want him married, n they was goin to see 
 45
 
 MRS. LATHROP^S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 t he did n t get drug into it. So they took 
 the horse n the colt an the democrat n 
 started up to town this mornin , n jus* 
 beyond the bridge they met the automobile 
 warmin up from Mrs. Macy n her cat. 
 Mr. Jilkins says his horse ain t afraid o 
 nothin on earth only threshin -machines, 
 men asleep, n bicycles; but it never d 
 seen a automobile afore, n it jumped right 
 into it. Well, him in goggles n his friend 
 in damages jumped right out, n the auto 
 mobile run into the fence an run over the 
 colt, n spilled Mr. and Mrs. Jilkins n 
 the horse all out. The horse fell down n 
 Mrs. Jilkins could n t get up, n the man 
 in the cap wanted to settle for five hundred 
 dollars right on the spot. Then they went 
 to work an got the tool-box, n got the 
 horse up, n he seemed to be all right, only 
 pretty badly marred ; an* they backed the 
 automobile out o trie fence an give Mrs. 
 Jilkins a drink out o their bottle, n tucked 
 46
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 her up warm in the seat, an then set to 
 work on the democrat. They was gettin 
 everythin all straightened out neat s a pin 
 when, all of a sudden, Mrs. Jilkins give a 
 yell, an they looked up to see the automo 
 bile kitin off up the hill, n her screamin 
 an wavin her hands ; n the next thing 
 
 they see, she went over the top o the hill 
 
 > > > i i. 
 
 n out o sight. 
 
 Miss Clegg stopped; Mrs. Lathrop drew 
 in her breath. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, seems to me I 
 never hear nothin to equal that in all my 
 born days. Mrs. Jilkins off in a automo 
 bile alone ! N the man in the cap see it 
 jus s I did, for he wanted to settle for a 
 thousand, spot cash, then n there. But 
 Mr. Jilkins would n t settle ; there T s no 
 denyin Mr. Jilkins saw what a good 
 thing he d got when his wife went off 
 in that automobile ; so then the man in 
 the cap hustled in town, got a bicycle, 
 47
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 n scurried after her s fast s he could 
 paddle." 
 
 " Did they find ? " inquired Mrs. La- 
 throp. 
 
 " Not when I come home they had n t. 
 The man in goggles had took Mr. Jilkins 
 to the hotel for dinner, n Mr. Jilkins was 
 tickled to death, for he never eat in a hotel 
 in his life before. If he goes off, he always 
 gets back, or else takes a lunch." 
 
 " Are you goin ? " Mrs. Lathrop asked. 
 
 " Yes ; I m goin down-town again. I m 
 goin right now. I want to know the end 
 s Mrs. Jilkins made. N there s lots o 
 people s ain t had no chance yet to ask me 
 if it s true about you n the deacon." 
 
 "When s he a-com ?" Mrs. Lathrop 
 asked. 
 
 " On the five-o clock ; n he said s he 
 
 sh d come straight up here to settle it all. 
 
 I* s pose you ve turned the subjeck round 
 
 an round n upside down till you ve 
 
 48
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 come out jus where I said you would at 
 first." 
 
 "I guess I 11 take " 
 
 " I would f I was you. Mr. Kimball 
 says Deacon White s as good help s any 
 woman can hope to get hold o in a place 
 this size, an I guess he s hit that nail square 
 on top. I don t see but what, when all s 
 said an done, you can really take a deal o 
 comfort havin him so handy. He likes to 
 keep things clean, n you 11 never let him 
 get a chance to go to Satan emptyhanded. 
 N we can always send him to bed when 
 we want to talk, cause bein s he 11 be your 
 husband, we won t never have to fuss with 
 considerin his feelin s any." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop, thoughtfully. 
 
 " O course there would n t be nothin 
 very romantic in marryin the deacon ; n 
 yet, when you come right square down to 
 it, I don t see no good n sufficient reasons 
 for long hair bein romantic an big ears not. 
 4 49
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 Anyway, I sh d consider t a man s can 
 clean a sink, n will clean a sink, was a 
 sight safer to marry n one s whose big hit 
 was standin up the ends o his mustache. 
 N besides, you can have the man with 
 the sink, n the man with the mustache 
 would n t even turn round to look at you 
 the first time." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Romance is a nice thing in its place. 
 I Ve had my own romances four on em, 
 n not many women can say that n 
 still be unmarried, I guess. I Ve lived n 
 I Ve loved, as the books say ; n I Ve sur 
 vived, as I say myself; n you can believe 
 me or not, jus as you please, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 but I ain t got no feelin toward you this night 
 but pity. I would n t be you if I could 
 not now n not never. I d really liefer be 
 the deacon, n Heaven knows t he s got 
 little enough to look forward to hereafter." 
 
 "I " expostulated Mrs. Lathrop. 
 50
 
 THE AUTOMOBILE 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, if you keep me 
 here much longer, I sha n t get down-town 
 this afternoon ; n when you think how 
 near Mrs. Jilkins s comin to bein related 
 to you, it certainly will look very strange 
 to the community." 
 
 As she spoke, Miss Clegg rapidly pre 
 pared herself for the street, and with the last 
 words she went toward the door. 
 
 " If the deacon gets here afore I come 
 back," she said, pausing with her hand on 
 the knob, " you d better say s what he told 
 me yesterday in confidence n what I told 
 him in consequence is still a secret ; it 11 be 
 pleasanter for you both so." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Good-by," said Susan. 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop slept some that afternoon 
 and rocked more. She experienced no very 
 marked flutterings in the region of her 
 heart ; indeed, she was astonished herself at 
 the calmness of her sensations.
 
 MRS. LATHROP S LOVE AFFAIR 
 
 The deacon had not come when Susan 
 returned. Susan looked somewhat puzzled. 
 
 "Anybody been here since me?" she 
 inquired, not facing her friend, but examin 
 ing the stovepipe with interest. 
 
 "No; no" 
 
 " Mrs. Jilkins is all safe," she said next. 
 
 " I m so " 
 
 " That automobile run way past Cherry 
 Pond, n their hired man see her ridin* by 
 n made after her on a mule. The gaso 
 lene give out before the mule did, so he 
 hauled her home, n the man in the cap 
 come n took the automobile back to 
 town." 
 
 "So it sail " 
 
 " They all landed over at the drug-store 
 n got in n started out fresh. Mr. Jil 
 kins settled for the five hundred, n they 
 went off feelin real friendly. They run out 
 across the square, an then " Susan hesi 
 tated. " You got a shock yesterday," she 
 52
 
 said, still not looking at her friend, but 
 speaking sympathetically, " n it seems too 
 bad to give you another to-day ; but you 11 
 have to know " 
 
 " Heaven pro " cried Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " They run over the deacon comin out 
 o* the station. They did n t see him, an 
 he did n t see them. He ain t dead." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop was silent. 
 
 " Mrs. Allen took him home. Of course 
 that means Polly 11 get him in the end." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop was silent for a long time. 
 Finally she said very deliberately : 
 
 " Maybe it s just as " 
 
 "It s better," said her friend, with de 
 cision ; " for the man settled with the deacon 
 for fifteen hundred." 
 
 53
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 MRS. LATHROP had been dumb 
 founded to see a horse and wagon 
 being driven into her neighbor s 
 yard a little before noon one warm spring 
 day. Her eyesight was not good enough 
 to identify the horse s driver, but she hung 
 breathlessly in her kitchen window and 
 peered gaspingly out upon his boldness and 
 daring during the whole four minutes that 
 it took him to hitch to a clothes-pole ; and 
 then, when the fell deed was accomplished, 
 she watched him go in by the kitchen door, 
 and waited, with a confidence born of a 
 very good understanding of her neighbor s 
 views as to driving in and hitching, to see 
 him cast ignominiously forth by Miss 
 
 57
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 But even that omniscience of a friend s 
 habits which may be acquired during a next- 
 door residence for years sometimes fails, 
 and Mrs. Lathrop, after an hour of more 
 or less active bobbing in the window that 
 commanded the best view of the rear of the 
 house on the other side of the fence, was 
 forced to see that the caller, whoever he 
 might be, was not cast forth, and a further 
 hour s attention showed that he did not quit 
 the premises either just before or just after 
 dinner. When Mrs. Lathrop had quite 
 settled the last point to her complete satis 
 faction and un-understanding, she decided 
 to give up watching and to go to sleep as 
 usual. She slept until four in the after 
 noon, and when she awoke and hurried to 
 the window the horse and wagon were gone. 
 Susan seemed gone too, for her house looked 
 very shut up and sounded more than silent. 
 So Mrs. Lathrop went back forthwith to 
 her chair and slept again, and the next time 
 58
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 she awakened it was her friend s voice that 
 awakened her, as the latter stood over her 
 and demanded briskly, 
 
 " Well, did you see him ? " 
 
 "I oh oh I " began Mrs. Lath- 
 rop, vaguely. 
 
 " I thought you could n t but see him," 
 said Susan, " hitchin his horse to one o 
 my clothes-poles as large as life. If it d 
 been any day in his life but this one I d 
 surely of told him frank n open my views 
 on hitchin to my clothes-poles, but bein as 
 it was to-day I only told him my views on 
 drivin over my grass." 
 
 " But " began Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " The horse did n t bite the pole," con 
 tinued Susan ; " he said as he wa n t no crib- 
 ber. I told him it wa n t cribs as was the 
 question, but clothes-poles, an I might of 
 spoken some stronger, but just then he 
 stepped on the edge of the cistern cover n 
 I got such a turn as drove everythin else 
 59
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 clean out o my mind. You know how 
 easy it is to turn that cover, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 V I must say that if he and it had fell in 
 together there d have been a fine tale to tell, 
 for the cover always sinks straight to the 
 bottom, n is no joke to find n fish up, 
 you and I both know that. Ever since the 
 brace give way I ve always got it on my 
 mind to keep the clothes-bars sittin over it, 
 but now the brace in the clothes-bars is give 
 way too n as a consequence they won t sit 
 over nothin no more. If money was looser 
 I d certainly never spare it gettin them two 
 braces mended, but money bein tight and 
 me alone in the house n the most of my 
 callers them as it s all one to me whether I 
 see em in the parlor or in the cistern, I 
 ain t botherin . I was never one to worry 
 an scurry unnecessarily, Mrs. Lathrop, an 
 you know that as well as I do, n to-day I 
 had my mind all done up in my curtains 
 anyway, n I was more n a little put out 
 60
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 over bein interrupted, even by a man 
 as come in through the woodshed door, 
 that I never bolt cause it s a understood 
 thing as woodshed doors is not to be come 
 in at. The turn he give me when I hear 
 him clutterin aroun in the woodshed ! I 
 thought he was rats, an then a cat, an then 
 a rat an a cat come together, an then all of 
 a sudden I see him an remembered the cis 
 tern cover." 
 
 "But who " asked Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 Susan looked surprised. 
 
 " Why, I thought you said you seen 
 him," she said ; " you certainly give me that 
 impression, Mrs. Lathrop. I d have took 
 any vow anywhere as I asked you if you 
 seen him n you said you did. It s funny 
 if you did n t for he drove hisself in n 
 hitched hisself too, n me up in the garret 
 when he done it, foldin off my curtains to 
 iron. My, to think how I did hate the 
 idea o ironin them curtains ! Mother al- 
 61
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 ways ironed the curtains. She said I was 
 young n she did n t mind anyhow. I 
 ain t washed em since. I ve been in the 
 habit o sayin I was afraid it d bring 
 mother over me too much to take em 
 down without her. That s a thing as this 
 community can easy understand, f r they 
 leave all their hard work layin around for 
 any reason a tall, and although I can t in 
 reason deny as in most ways they re as dif 
 ferent from me as anything can be from me, 
 still when it comes to ironin curtains the 
 stove is as hot on the just as on the unjust 
 n you can t mention nothin hotter." 
 
 "Did you " said Mrs. Lathrop, sym 
 pathetically. 
 
 "Well, I sh d say I did. What I set 
 out to do I always do whether it s curtains 
 or Mr. Kimball. Mr. Kimball has got a 
 great idea as to his sharpness, but I guess if 
 our sharp ends was under a microscope, 
 he d be the needle an me the bee-sting 
 62
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 most every day. It was too bad you 
 wasn t to that lecture, Mrs. Lathrop, I 
 did learn a great deal. Nqt just about the 
 sting, but some very handy things. It 
 seems if you go among em quietly, they 11 
 let you take the honey out any time n 
 you can buy the queens by mail in a box 
 n they 11 lay a whole hive alone by them 
 selves in no time. Mrs. Macy said she 
 thought some of sendin for one or two 
 queens n settin em up in business in 
 bushel baskets, but when she went home 
 n looked the baskets over n thought 
 what work it d be to clean the honey out 
 of em each fall she give up the idea. She s 
 going to set out a orange tree in a flower 
 pot instead. It says in the Ladies Home 
 Diary as they grow very nicely so." 
 
 " But who " interrupted Mrs. Lathrop, 
 wrinkling up her face somewhat over the 
 long strain on her eager attentiveness. 
 
 " But I thought you said you seen him," 
 63
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 said her friend, with a second recurrence of 
 her surprised expression ; " did n t you see 
 him when you see him drivin in ? He was 
 holdin the reins at the big end o the 
 whip, I should suppose. I can t well see 
 how you saw everythin* else without seein 
 him. He was some better dressed n usual 
 but it just shows what bein left a widower 
 does for a man. It seems to somehow put 
 new spirit in em n sets em to wearin* ties 
 again. Why, do you know when he come 
 to go he actually asked me to ride a piece 
 with him n show him which finger-post to 
 turn in to, an I will say as, where I would n t 
 of dreamed o ridin with him a week ago, I 
 went to-day an really enjoyed it. Yes, I 
 did." 
 
 "Was it " cried Mrs. Lathrop, with a 
 sudden gleam of intuition. 
 
 Susan looked surprised for the third time. 
 
 " Why, of course," she said, " who else 
 could it be?" Then she left her position 
 64
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 near the door, came over nearer to her 
 friend, took a chair and began to untie her 
 bonnet. 
 
 " I don t know as I m surprised over 
 your bein surprised, Mrs. Lathrop," she 
 continued in a slightly milder tone after a 
 brief pause for vocal renovation. " I will 
 confess as I was really nothin but surprised 
 myself. I supposed as a matter o course 
 that to-day he was in Meadville buryin her, 
 V when I first see him the funeral was so 
 strong in my mind as I thought he d druv 
 over to maybe borrow father s black bow for 
 his front door. I made my mind right up 
 to tell him straight to his face as he could n t 
 have it, for I told you once as I was keepin 
 that bow for you, Mrs. Lathrop, an when 
 I promise anybody anythin I keep my 
 word, whether it s a receipt or a bow for 
 their own funeral, an when I saw old man 
 Ely it did n t take me no two minutes to 
 keep my word the same as ever, n 
 5 6 5
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 father s black bow too. But laws, he was n t 
 after no bow ! I very quickly found out 
 as all as he was after was the funeral, f r it 
 seems as they was uncommonly spry with it. 
 He told me right off as they had it pretty 
 prompt too, for he says when it comes to 
 buryin a wife there s no need for a man to 
 go slow, n so he had all Meadville up with 
 the lark V out after old Mrs. Ely. He 
 seemed to feel all of a sudden as it was a 
 little awkward me not havin been there, but 
 I saw how he felt n made his mind easy 
 by tellin him frank n open that it was n t 
 nothin agin his wife as kept me here, for 
 when it come right square down to it I 
 did n t know any one as I d enjoy their fun 
 eral more n gettin my curtains ironed ; an I 
 may in truth repeat to you as that s so, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, for although it may seem hard at 
 first hearin , still we both know what it is to 
 iron curtains, n my motto always is as a 
 live lion has rights above a dead dog, and 
 66
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 the proverb says as the dead is always ready 
 to bury the dead anyhow. Old man Ely 
 seemed to look on it much as I did, for he 
 did n t fiddle about none with his affairs, but 
 came right to the point an told me fair an 
 square as, not havin anythin particular on 
 hand after it was over, an seein clear as he 
 was three miles out of his way anyhow, he d 
 thought he d come on as far as Pete Sander 
 son s n* see about a cow as he d heard Pete 
 had, n then after that it looked to him like 
 it was pretty much a day for odd jobs straight 
 through, so he come over here to get some 
 graftin s from our grape-vine. He said as 
 father d told him once as he could have 
 some graftin s from the porch-vine if he d 
 come and cut em, n so he was come. I 
 told him as when it was n t nothin more 
 important than grape-vines father s words 
 was ever my laws ; so he went out n cut 
 some pieces from the Virginia creeper an 
 come in perfectly satisfied, n I may in con- 
 67
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 fidence remark as I was satisfied too for I 
 was n t overpleased to have him meddlirT 
 with the porch-vine. I will remark, though, 
 as his cuttin Virginia creeper for grape 
 vines did amuse me some, for it s been a 
 well-known fact for years as Mrs. Ely was 
 Mr. Ely in everythin but the clothes he 
 wore, n they say the way she managed to 
 figger-head him through plantin n harvest, 
 n pasture n punkins, was nothin short 
 of genius, bred in the bone n bustin out 
 every seam. 
 
 " Howsomesoever, he stayed n stayed 
 n I ironed n ironed, n we talked about 
 the farm n father n how well he remem 
 bered father n what a good daughter I was 
 n what a good wife Mrs. Ely was n how 
 well he was goin to bear it, n I begun to 
 wonder when he was intendin to go or 
 whether he was thinkin of stayin all day, 
 n at last there was nothin but to ask him 
 to dinner, n I was n t intendin to have no 
 68
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 dinner on a count o the curtains. It s a 
 very hard thing, Mrs. Lathrop, when you re 
 not intendin to have dinner to have to in 
 vite company for it, but there did n t seem 
 no way to help it. I could n t in decency 
 more than mention as Mrs. Brown was to 
 home an I knowed as the Fishers was give 
 to Irish stew on Tuesdays, but no, sir, there 
 he sat like a bump on a log n in the hind 
 end I could n t but ask him to stay n have 
 just cold pork n beans on a count o the 
 funeral. N so he stayed. I set my irons 
 back with a heavy heart n said it seemed 
 like some days misfortunes never come sin 
 gle, for I d already seen a water-bug in 
 the kitchen that very mornin ; but he 
 seemed to have decided to be thick-skinned, 
 so I put on the tea-kettle n brought out 
 the pork n beans n we sat down to eat." 
 
 "Was " asked Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Well, I should think he was," replied 
 Susan. " I never see such a appetite. He 
 69
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 eat pork n beans like he thought they was 
 twins off a vine, n I had to finally get up 
 n clear away to save any a tall. I set the 
 tea-kettle by him n told him to end by 
 havin all the tea he wanted to pour through 
 the leaves by himself, n I went back to 
 my ironin . He sat there n drank tea 
 very happy for a long spell. Seemed like it 
 sort o thawed him out, n finally he begin 
 to talk about her, n once he got started on 
 that he never quit. I ironed curtains n lis 
 tened n let him talk. It was n t long afore 
 he begin to show the disadvantages o bein 
 dead, for he said as he was always the practi 
 cal one of them both, n he d never have 
 dared say that with old Mrs. Ely on top of 
 the earth. I was amused at his sayin it 
 anyhow, with the Virginia creeper graftin s 
 there in a tomato-can bearin witness agin 
 him, but I did n t say nothin . He asked 
 me if I d believe as she was really a very 
 fair-lookin girl when they was married. I 
 70
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 could n t but stop at that n ask him if it 
 was ever possible as her nose was ever any 
 different, n he had to say c No, not any dif 
 ferent; n I can assure you as he set n 
 rubbed his chin with his hand a long time 
 afterwards n then drew a big breath n said 
 * No, not any different. I felt to respect his 
 feelin s n did n t say nothin , n after a while 
 he went on an said that they was very happy 
 married on the whole, n then he rubbed his 
 chin with his hand a nother long while n 
 said over again c on the whole. He asked 
 me then if I ever heard how he came to 
 marry her first n I said as I always hear as 
 it was to get the farm. He kind of flared up 
 at that n said there never was nothin agin 
 her but her nose, n at that I took a fresh 
 iron n said he asked me a plain question n 
 I give him a plain answer, which, considerin 
 his horse n my clothes-pole n her nose, 
 was all as could in reason be expected of me. 
 He softened down at that n said as he
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 was n t by no means meanin to make light of 
 his dead wife s nose, n I said as, speakin 
 o Mrs. Ely s nose bein the one thing agin 
 her, it was the joy of every other person as 
 met her as it was agin her n not agin them, 
 for it was a well-known fact as Mr. Kim- 
 ball had said hunderds of times as if he had 
 that nose an leaned over a bridge n see 
 it in the water he d be willin to let it over 
 balance him then n there n be drowned 
 forever. He got pretty meek at that, for it 
 showed as I was in earnest, n he went on 
 to say as it was large, but he said as afore 
 she took to that way of kind o shrinkin 
 back of it it did n t look so large, n anyway 
 she was his married n buried wife. I told 
 him I was certainly glad to know that, seein 
 as they d lived together so many years, n 
 then he said it d really be nothin but a joy 
 to him to tell me how he come to marry 
 her, so I said I d listen n welcome n he 
 started in. 
 
 72
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 " I must say this, Mrs. Lathrop, V that 
 is that I soon see as it was lucky as I 
 was n t feelin no special call to talk any 
 myself, for he set out in a most steady sort 
 of a discouragin down-pour, kind of cross- 
 your-legs n clear-your-throat, n I see as 
 I was in for it n just let him pour, for feel- 
 in s catches us all ways n whatever he felt 
 about old Mrs. Ely it was plain as some 
 one had got to hear it to the last drop. So 
 I let him drop away, n I will in all fairness 
 say, as a more steady spout I never see no 
 one under. He never seemed to consider 
 as how me or any one might perhaps enjoy 
 to maybe make a remark from time to time, 
 n even when he ain t talkin he s got that 
 way o rubbin his chin as makes it seem 
 most impolite to bu st in on. I didn t 
 care much, though, cause I had the curtains, 
 n besides I may in confidence state as 
 when I really felt to speak I sailed right in 
 anyhow n spoke what I wanted to. For 
 73
 
 I never was one to sit by n have my tail 
 calmly trod on, as you n a great many 
 others knows to your cost, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 n then, too, each time when I see as he 
 was nigh to tippin into the cistern it was 
 really nothin but a joy to him to know it 
 in time to hitch away." 
 
 "Did " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 "In the first place," said Susan, "he 
 asked me if I d mind his smokin his pipe, 
 n I told him I most certainly would, so 
 that ended that subjeck right up square at 
 the beginnin . Then he said he d been 
 married nigh on to forty years n I told 
 him to look out for the cistern n he 
 hitched along a piece n begin again. N 
 then he seemed set a-goin for keeps. 
 
 " Seems, Mrs. Lathrop, as he never had 
 no family, but he says he was a very hand 
 some young fellow for all that. I looked 
 pretty hard at him, but he stuck to it n I 
 let it go. He went on to say as he growed 
 74
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 up anyhow n drifted to Meadville when 
 he was long about twenty-four, n went on 
 to the Pearson farm. Oh, my, but he says 
 that was a stony farm ! I tell you but he 
 rubbed his chin with his hand a long while 
 afore he said all over again, * but that was a 
 stony farm ! An the gophers ! Well, he 
 says whatever the Recordin Angel has got 
 down he bets he s skipped some o them 
 gophers. He says the hairs on your head is 
 a mere joy to reckon up, n fallin sparrows 
 too, beside them gophers. He says savin 
 a cent in the time o Egypt n seein what 
 you d have now if you d only done it, is 
 nothin to the way them gophers on the 
 Pearson farm was give to givin in marriage. 
 He says as it was a very stony farm, n in 
 between every two stones was one hole n 
 half a dozen gophers to a hole, in the sin- 
 gle season. He says ploughin was like 
 churnin with nothin but stones n go 
 phers in the churn. He says they was that 
 75
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 tame they d run up your legs n up the 
 horses legs ; he said maybe I would n t be 
 lieve it, n I told him I certainly would n t, 
 so then he went on to another subjeck. 
 
 " He says he used to plough through 
 them gophers all day n court Tilly all 
 night. Tilly was old Mrs. Ely. He says 
 she d never been courted on a count of her 
 nose, but he said he wanted a farm bad 
 enough to be willin to never forget to tip 
 his face pretty well crossways. He says 
 she was so happy bein courted that at first 
 it made the gophers just seem like nothin 
 a tall, n he says as you can t maybe get 
 the full sense o that but it s there just the 
 same. I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, you can 
 see that man has suffered. I asked him 
 was he afraid of mice too, n he bristled up 
 pretty sharp n said he wa n t afraid of 
 gophers, only they took you so unawares. 
 I had to tell him right there to look out for 
 the cistern lid, n he hitched over by the 
 76
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 table again V then he said, Well, so it went 
 all summer. He said he got so tired o 
 gophers, n moonlight, n hittin her nose 
 hard by accident, times when he was n t 
 thinkin , as he was nothin but glad when 
 September come round. He says he d 
 figgered all along on bein married in Sep 
 tember, n he never for one moment mis 
 trusted as he wouldn t be; but he says of 
 all the awful things to count on, Tilly Pear 
 son was the worst. Oh ! my, he says, but 
 she was cranky ! n then he rubbed his chin 
 with his hand a long while n then said 
 f cranky, over again in a very hard tone. 
 He says would you believe it that after all 
 his love-makin along the first o September 
 she begin to get terrible uppish n throw 
 her head aroun n put on airs n he was 
 just dumbfounded at her goin s on." 
 
 "What " asked Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 "Then he says one awful day when he 
 was stackin straw, Old Pearson told him 
 77
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 flat V plain as if he was n t goin to marry 
 Tilly, he need n t count on spendin the 
 winter as their company. Well, he says 
 you can maybe realize what a shock that 
 was. He says his nose was just smashed 
 numb n his sleep was full o grabbin at em 
 in his dreams n now it looked like all was 
 for nothin a tall. Still he says he scraped 
 up a smile n a cheerful look n told Old 
 Pearson as he was more n willin to marry 
 Tilly for his winter s board but it was Tilly 
 as was makin the trouble. He says Old 
 Pearson looked sort of surprised at that, but 
 he thought a little while n then he told 
 him as if he was smart he d find a way 
 to bring Tilly to her senses, cause every 
 woman had some way to be brought to her 
 senses, n then he went off n left him to 
 think. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you can see with 
 out any tryin that that man suffered. I 
 pretty near stopped n burnt jus to listen 
 78
 
 OLD MAN ELrS PROPOSAL 
 
 to him. He says as he sit there plum be 
 side hisself n most cried from not knowin 
 what under Heaven s name to do. He 
 says he was placed most awful with winter 
 starin him stark in the face n no warm 
 place to stay. He says nobody knows how 
 it feels to feel like he was forced to feel, 
 nless they ve been expectin to be married 
 n then been discharged themselves instead. 
 He says he looked about most doleful 
 n wished he was dead or anythin that s 
 warm, n then he got down from the 
 stack n set on a old wagon tongue n 
 jus tried to figger on if there was n t no 
 way as he could think up as would make 
 Tilly have him. He says the bitter part 
 was to reflect as he had to work to make 
 Tilly have him, when it d really ought by all 
 rights to have been the other way. He says 
 to think o that nose n then him obliged 
 to work n slave to get hold of it ! " 
 "I " began Mrs. Lathrop. 
 79
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 " Well, he see it different," said Susan ; 
 " he says, n I can t in reason see how 
 any one as knows as little as you, Mrs. Lath- 
 rop, can deny him, he says as no one as 
 gets married easy at the end of courtin can 
 possibly figger on the difficulties of gettin 
 married hard. He says it was jus beyond 
 belief the way he felt as he set there re- 
 flectin on his wasted summer n Tilly flip- 
 pin aroun all unconcerned over him leavin 
 in the end. He says his blood begun to 
 slowly begin to boil as he set there thinkin , 
 n in the end he jus up an hit the wagon- 
 tongue with his fist n said c By Jinks ! n 
 he says when he says f By Jinks, it is the 
 end, n don t you forget it. 
 
 " He says he d no sooner said c By Jinks 
 than he thought of a plan, n he says Lord 
 forgive him if he ever thinks of such an 
 other plan. He says what put it into his 
 head Heaven only knows, only o course he 
 never expected as it would work out as it 
 80
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 did. He says he thought as she d see what 
 he was up to n stop him along half-way. 
 But Oh, my, he says, you never can count on 
 a woman, n then he rubbed his chin with 
 his hand for a long time n said all over 
 again { never can count on a woman. 
 
 " Well, he says after he d thought o the 
 plan he went right to work to carry it out. 
 He says it was one o them plans as dilly 
 dally is death on. So he begun by makin 
 sure as she was pastin labels on pickle-jars 
 in the back wood-house n then he went 
 out by the shed n got some old clothes 
 line as was hangin there n come round to 
 where the bingin -pole was n whittled 
 notches in it n tied a piece o the line 
 hard aroun the end. He says all the time 
 he was tyin he was countin on her runnin 
 right out n askin him what under the sun 
 he was doin , but she never budged." 
 
 "What " asked Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Well, if you 11 keep still n let me talk 
 6 81
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 I 11 tell you," said Miss Clegg ; " I had to 
 keep still while he told me, n the Bible s 
 authority for sayin as what man has done 
 woman can always do too if she has a mind 
 to. Well, he says then he bent the end of 
 the pole around n tied it hard to one of 
 the uprights of the shed so it was sprung 
 around in a terrible dangerous manner n 
 he says when he got it all tied, he looked 
 up at the window n why she did n t come 
 out he can t to this day see. But she 
 didn t just stayed bobbin around over 
 her labels n pastin . Well, he says o 
 course he wa n t in no hurry to go on to 
 next part, so he dragged the grin stone out 
 in plain view of her n begun n sharpened 
 a hatchet most awful sharp. He thought 
 as the hatchet would bring her anyhow, but 
 still she did n t come out, jus stuck to her 
 stickin there in the window. I can t well 
 see why he looked for her to come out be 
 cause my view would be as if you did n t 
 82
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 want a man aroun , the more ropes an 
 hatchets he was inclined to the more I d let 
 him tie n sharpen, but old Mrs. Ely 
 was always another parts o speech from me. 
 She never could eat her own chickens, they 
 say, nor sausage her own pigs, n I s pose 
 he knowed her tender spots aforehand n was 
 layin for em. Anyhow, to go back to him 
 n the grin stone, he says you can t under 
 no circumstances keep on sharpenin a 
 hatchet forever, n so after a while he had 
 to go on to the next part. He says he 
 was beginnin to feel kind o shaky, but he 
 took more line n made a slip-noose n 
 tied it hard n fast to the pole. He says 
 he looked up real bright n hopeful then, 
 but still she did n t come out, n he says he 
 slid it up over his arm two or three times so 
 she could n t but see as it was a noose too. 
 Oh, my, but he says he did begin to feel 
 mad at her then, he says it wa n t in reason 
 as any man d be pleased at a woman s smilin* 
 83
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 out of a window at him fixin a noose in 
 plain sight. He says he 11 leave it to any 
 one dead or alive to get into his skin n en 
 joy the way he was beginnin to feel, but o* 
 course he had to keep on with his plan, n 
 he says next he laid the hatchet handy an 
 set down (Oh, my, but he says the ground 
 sent up a cold chill up his back !) n tied 
 his feet to the other upright. Well, he 
 says that foot-tyin was no joke, for he 
 says he must of took fifteen minutes to it, 
 for he was jus about wild by this time, not 
 knowin what he would do if she did n t 
 come out now. He says no one knows 
 what it is to begin a thing as you count 
 on surely havin stopped n then not be 
 stopped a tall. He says as the sentiments 
 as he begun to get was too awful for any or 
 dinary words n he would scorn to use the 
 words as could describe em even if he 
 knowed any such. Well, he says, at last, 
 when he was through tyin his feet, he 
 84
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 turned n looked at the window V if she 
 wa n t gone to put up the jars, so he had no 
 choice but to sit there on that cold ground 
 n wait for her to come back. He said he 
 hoped I d never know what his feelin s 
 was as he waited n then he rubbed his 
 chin with his hand a long time n said all 
 over again, * as he waited. I told him it 
 was n t likely as I would, n to look out 
 for the cistern or he d know new feelin s 
 n a new kind of waitin , so he had to hitch 
 back by the table again n then he took a 
 long breath before goin on to the next 
 part. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, he says when she 
 come back from puttin up the jars he jus 
 could n t but feel as his hour was surely 
 come. He says how he ever done it he 
 never has seen since, but he took up that 
 noose n put it over his head. He says as 
 he did so he took a quick look at the win 
 dow n seen her lookin , n he says he jus 
 85
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 hoped surely she d give a scream now V 
 come runnin out the kitchen-door. But 
 he says she d disappointed him so often his 
 heart was like lead, n he felt bluer n he s 
 ever felt any other time in his life. He 
 says he fixed the noose all smooth around 
 his neck for five minutes or so, n then 
 there was nothin in the wide world left for 
 him to do but to take up that awful sharp 
 hatchet. 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I vow I was inter 
 ested in spite of myself. His voice shook 
 n his hands too jus with rememberin . I 
 really felt to pity him I did. He says he 
 lifted the hatchet n looked at the window 
 tryin to hope fully n securely as this time 
 she d surely come out screamin n runnin . 
 N she never screamed n she never run ! 
 Oh, my, but he says he was tremblin 
 from head to foot n the cold sweat jus 
 poured over him. He says he took up the 
 hatchet n held it quiverin in his quiverin 
 86
 
 OLD MAN ELY S PROPOSAL 
 
 hand, n then he made a weak hack at the 
 rope as tied the pole to the upright. He 
 says he see her nose in the window as he 
 hacked n then he says no words can ever 
 describe his feelin s when he suddenly learned 
 as he d cut the rope ! He says he never 
 had no more idea o hittin the rope than he 
 had o hangin himself, n he said when he 
 very quickly felt as he d done both nothin 
 can properly explain him ! He says the 
 newspapers don t have no idea a tall of how 
 it feels or they d never print it so cool n 
 calm. He says cuttin the rope let the pole 
 loose n the noose ran up on him n 
 choked him most terrible. My gracious, 
 he says but carbolic acid n Rough on 
 Rats is child s play beside that grip on your 
 throat. He says he never will forget how 
 it felt, not if he lives to be Methusalem s 
 great-grandfather. He says he got a most 
 awful jerk from his head to his heels too as 
 nigh to broke his ankles, n a twist in his 
 87
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 wrist from the weight o the hatchet, but he 
 said he did n t have no time to take no 
 a count o nothin just then but the way 
 everythin turned red n black V run into 
 his ears." 
 
 "Did it kill " cried Mrs. Lathrop, 
 much excited. 
 
 " I m goin to tell you. He says the 
 last thing he knowed was Tilly s shriek. 
 O course when he cut the rope she seen 
 he d meant it all, n so she grabbed up a 
 carvin knife n yelled to her father n run. 
 Old man Ely says it was good she run, for 
 there was n t a minute to lose. Old Pear 
 son run too from where he was in the barn 
 but Tilly got there first. She didn t lose 
 one second in sawin him free at both ends 
 n he says he was so nigh to dead that first 
 he thought she was a gopher, n then an 
 angel. Oh, my, but he says he was dizzy 
 at first, n faint, n queer in his ears. 
 He sat n thought about it all by himself 
 88
 
 OLD MAN ELVS PROPOSAL 
 
 for a long while this mornin afore he went 
 on again. He says no one ever realizes 
 how close they are to eternity unless they 
 accidentally go n do suthin so darn fool 
 ish as that. 
 
 " Well, he says, after a while, after a 
 long, long while, he felt to get to the house, 
 n then, he says, come one o the strangest 
 parts o the story the part as shows how 
 everythin turns out for the best in the end. 
 He says it s really most like a fairy-tale, n 
 jus as if he d planned it all to order. 
 Seems when he tried to get up n walk to 
 the house Tilly wanted her father to help hold 
 up his other side, n she could n t see where 
 her father was. She started aroun the shed 
 to look for him n there she found him 
 stretched out flat. Seems when she cut 
 Ely loose she let the pole fly roun jus in 
 time to take her father in the legs n there 
 he laid, not dead, but in a way as showed 
 right off as some one else d have to run his 
 89
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 farm from then on. Well, old man Ely 
 says you needn t tell him as there ain t no 
 All-wise Providence after that, n he rubbed 
 his chin with his hand a long, long while n 
 shook his head n then said { need n t tell 
 him all over again. He says he joined the 
 church the very next Sunday n him n 
 Tilly was married in September like he d 
 always planned. He says they was very 
 happy on the whole n after a while Old 
 Pearson got where he got around pretty 
 well, only for a crazy idea he had as suthin 
 unexpected was goin to hit him sudden. 
 He says he had the idea so strong as 
 he never was free from it while he was 
 alive n it was a mercy when he died. 
 He says as he see how good things can 
 turn out, for, Tilly always jus loved him 
 half to death cause he d loved her enough 
 to cut that rope in two. He says he 
 means her to have a very handsome monu 
 ment, n if he ever marries again he shall 
 90
 
 OLD MAN ELTS PROPOSAL 
 
 keep her picture in the parlor just the 
 same." 
 
 " Do " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Well, I think he 11 try to," said Miss 
 Clegg, " but his other wife may not see it in 
 the same spirit, Mrs. Ely not bein no great 
 ornament, n the farm is safe now any 
 how." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop, further. 
 
 "Yes," said Susan, "I thought so my 
 self but it didn t seem to strike him that 
 way."
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 PART FIRST 
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 MRS. LATHROP, rocking plac 
 idly in her kitchen window, was 
 conscious of a vague sense of 
 worry as to her friend over the fence. It 
 appeared to her that Susan was looking 
 more thin and peaked than nature had 
 intended. It is true that Miss Clegg was 
 always of a bony and nervous outline, but 
 it seemed slowly but surely borne in upon 
 her older friend that of late she had been 
 rapidly becoming sharper in every way. 
 Mrs. Lathrop felt that she ought to speak 
 that she ought not to lead her next door 
 neighbor into the false belief that her suf- 
 95
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 ferings were unnoticed by the affectionate 
 spectacles forever turned her way, and 
 yet Mrs. Lathrop being Mrs. Lathrop 
 it was only after several days of rock 
 ing and cogitation that the verbal die came 
 to its casting. 
 
 That came to be upon a summer evening, 
 and it came to pass across the barrier-fence 
 where Miss Clegg had come to lean wearily, 
 her shoulders and the corners of her mouth 
 following the same dejected angle, while her 
 elderly friend stood facing her with a gaze 
 that was at once earnest, penetrating, and 
 commiserating, and a clover blossom in her 
 mouth. 
 
 " Susan," said Mrs. Lathrop, in a voice 
 mournful enough to have renovated Job ; 
 "Susan, I " 
 
 Miss Clegg shut her eyes firmly and 
 opened them sharply. 
 
 " I m glad you have," she said, in a 
 voice whose tone was divided between relief 
 96
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 and reproach, "I certainly am glad you 
 have. I try to be close-mouthed n never 
 trouble any one with my affairs, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, but I will say as I have often 
 wondered at how you could sit n rock 
 in the face of what I ve been grinnin n 
 bearin these last few weeks. Not that 
 rockin is any crime, n I always feel it 
 must be fine exercise for the chair, but it s 
 hard for one who has the wolf at their door, 
 n not only at their door, but nigh to 
 bu stin it in, to see their dearest friend 
 rockin away, like wolf or no wolf she d go 
 on forever." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop looked aggrieved. 
 
 " Why, Susan " she protested. 
 
 "That ain t no excuse," the friend said, 
 not harshly but with a cold distinctness ; 
 " you may talk yourself blind if you feel 
 so inclined, n I don t say but what you 
 really did n t mean nothin , but the fact 
 remains, n always will remain, as you ve 
 7 97
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 took a deal of comfort rockin while I Ve 
 been kitin broadcast tryin to see if I could 
 keep soul n body together or whether I d 
 have to let one or the other of em go." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop opened her mouth and 
 eyes widely. 
 
 " 1 never " she gasped. 
 
 Susan hooked herself on to the fence-rail 
 with both her elbows preparatory to a 
 lengthy debate ; her eyes were bright, her 
 expression one of unreserved exposition. 
 Mrs. Lathrop continued to keep her eyes 
 and mouth open, but reasons which will 
 soon be known to the reader prevented her 
 making another remark for a long time. 
 
 " Mrs. Lathrop, I may as well begin by 
 goin way back to the beginnin of every- 
 thin n takin you right in the hide and 
 hair of my whole troubles. It ain t possible 
 for you to realize what your rockin s meant 
 to me unless you understand to the full 
 what I Ve been goin through n crawlin 
 98
 
 MISS CLEGG^S & 
 
 under these last weeks. I want to 
 your feelin s all I can, for it ain t in me to 
 be unkind to so much as a gooseberry, but 
 I can t well see how you can keep from 
 bein some punched by remorse when you 
 hear how I Ve been cleanin house with a 
 heavy heart n no new mop. That s what 
 I Ve been doin , Mrs. Lathrop, n so help 
 me Heaven, it s death or a new mop next 
 year. The way that mop has skipped dirt 
 n dripped water! well, seein is the only 
 believin when it comes to mops, but all I 
 can say is that you never looked more spotty 
 than I have since that mop, n you know 
 how lookin spotty is mortal agony to me 
 me not bein one who can be happy rockin 
 on top of dirt. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I said I was goin 
 to begin at the beginnin , so I will, although 
 the whole town knows as it was that fine 
 scheme of Mr. Kimball s as set my ball 
 bouncin down hill. I was n t the only one 
 99 
 
 Ufift/ 
 
 "*
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 as got rolled over n throwed out feet up, 
 but I don t know as bein one of a number 
 to lose money makes the money any more 
 fun to lose. Mr. Dill was sayin yesterday 
 as he would n t have listened to nothin but 
 white for Lucy s weddin -dress if it hadn t 
 been for Mr. Kimball n his little scheme, 
 but I don t get any great comfort out of 
 knowin that Lucy Dill s got to try n get 
 herself married in her Aunt Samantha Dill s 
 blue bengaline. The blue bengaline s very 
 handsome n I never see a prettier arrange 
 ment of beads n fringe, but every one says 
 too much of Lucy shows at the top n 
 bottom to even be romantic. They can 
 hook it, but Lucy can t stay hooked inside 
 but five minutes at the outside. I m sure 
 I don t see how they 11 ever fix it, n 
 Gran ma Mullins says she cries whenever 
 she thinks that at Hiram s weddin the 
 bride won t have no weddin -dress. Polly 
 Allen wanted Lucy to open the darts n 
 100
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 let in puffs like Mary Stuart s husbands 
 always was puffed, but Lucy never see 
 Mary Stuart n the only picture in town 
 of any of her husbands has got him in bed 
 with the sheet drawed up to his chin n 
 his hands folded right on top of where 
 they d want to copy the darts. Such a 
 picture ain t no help a tal!, so Lucy is still 
 shakin her head the same as at first. My 
 idea would be to make no wish-bones about 
 it n just be married in her travelin -dress 
 n then wear it when she goes away, but 
 it seems she wants her travelin -dress for 
 church, n does n t mean to wear it travelin 
 anyhow, because she n Hiram is just wild 
 over the no-one-knowin -they re-married 
 idea, n Lucy is goin to wear old gloves 
 n some buttons off her shoes, n Hiram 
 is goin to wear his mother s spectacles 
 n Mr. Shores store umbrella. Gran ma 
 Mullins feels awful over Hiram s goin 
 away like that; she says she s brought him 
 101
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN" S DOOR 
 
 up so neat n always a vest on Sunday n 
 only shirt-sleeves in summer, n now to 
 think of him goin off on his weddin -trip 
 in Mr. Shores umbrella! but Lucy don t 
 care nor Hiram neither n they re 
 goin to take along a piece of sand-paper 
 n sand-paper the shine off the ring on the 
 train. Polly Allen n the deacon is laughin 
 to fits over them. Everythin s very differ 
 ent with Polly n the deacon. The deacon 
 says it ain t in reason as a man of sixty-two 
 can look forward to many more weddin s, 
 n he s goin to sit with his arm around 
 Polly, n he don t care who chooses to 
 suspeck they re weddin -trippin . They re 
 goin to be all new clothes right through to 
 their skins, n Polly s goin to have a 
 orange-blossom bunch on her hat. The 
 deacon says he 11 pay for all the rice folks 
 are willin to throw, n it s a open secret as 
 he s goin to give the minister a gold piece. 
 The minister was smilin all over town about 
 1 02
 
 MISS CLEGG^S SPECULATIONS 
 
 it until Mr. Kimball told him he see a gold 
 quarter-of-a-dollar once. He s hopin for a 
 five, but Mr. Shores says he knows positive 
 as the deacon got two two-dollar-and-a-halfs 
 at the bank when his wife died, and he gave 
 one to the minister then n probably he s 
 been savin the other to get married again 
 with." 
 
 Susan paused for breath a vital neces 
 sity and then went on : 
 
 " But dear me, Mrs. Lathrop, all that 
 ain t what I set out to tell you, n even 
 if it s a pleasure to you to hear it, it ain t 
 in reason as I should take my time to talk 
 to you about other people s affairs. You 
 may be interested in other people s affairs, 
 but I ain t, n we started to talk about 
 mine n what I set out to talk about I talk 
 about or else I stay at home. It was my 
 troubles as I was goin to make a clean high 
 breast of, Mrs. Lathrop, n I 11 lay any 
 odds as by the time I get through you 11 
 103
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAWS DOOR 
 
 have little feelin to sleep in you. The 
 Lord says, To him who hath shall be 
 given, n I will in confidence remark as 
 I ve just been achin to give it to you for. 
 these many days. You Ve always been 
 poor, but you Ve never seemed to mind ; 
 now I m poor (yes, Mrs. Lathrop, jump if 
 you like" for Mrs. Lathrop had started 
 in surprise "but it s so) n / mind; I 
 mind very much, I mind all up n down 
 and kitty-cornered crossways, n if I keep 
 on gettin poor, Lord have mercy on you, 
 for I shall certainly not be able to look on 
 calmly at no great amount of rockin ." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop stared widely and gasped 
 openly. Susan continued : 
 
 " It all began with Mr. Kimball n his 
 gettin the fever of speckilation. Mr. Kim- 
 ball said he thought he d rather get rich 
 quick than not get rich at all. That was 
 the way he put it n it sounded so sensible 
 t I felt to agree. Then he begin to unfold 
 104
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 how (he had the newspaper in his hand), V 
 as soon as he was unfolded I read the adver 
 tisement. It was a very nice advertisement 
 an no patent medicine could have sounded 
 easier to take in. You buy two rubber trees 
 n then wait two years n get fifty per cent 
 till you die. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I went 
 over that advertisement fifty times to try 
 n see what to do n yet the more I studied 
 it the less faith I had in it somehow. The 
 picture of the man who tended the trees 
 was up on top n little pictures of him 
 made a kind of pearl frame around the 
 whole, n he was honest enough lookin , as 
 far as I could judge, but as I told Mr. 
 Kimball what was to guarantee us as he d 
 stick to the same job steady, n I certainly 
 did n t have no longin* in me to buy a rub 
 ber tree in southeast Peru n then leave 
 it to be hoed around by Tom, Dick, n 
 Harry. So I shook my head n said c no 
 in the end n then we looked up railway 
 105
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 stocks. Mr. Kimball read me a list of 
 millionaires n he asked me if I would n t 
 like to be called Susan Clegg, queen of 
 the Western Pacific but I m too old to 
 be caught by any such chaff, n I told him 
 so to his face, and then it was that we come 
 to his favorite scheme of the * Little Flyer 
 in Wheat. That was what he called it, 
 n I must say that I think it s a pretty 
 good name, only if I know myself I 11 buy 
 wheat as never sets down hereafter. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it took a deal of 
 talkin n Mr. Kimball had to do a lot of 
 figgerin before my eyes afore I was ready 
 to believe him when he said as five of us 
 could go in together n double our money 
 every few days for a month or so. He 
 showed me as what he was figgerin from 
 was printed in plain letters n red ink in 
 a city paper, n after a while I opened my 
 mouth n swallowed the whole thing, red 
 ink n all. Mr. Kimball, Mr. Dill, Mr. 
 106
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 Shores, me, n me over again, was the five; 
 n we bought the share right off, fully be- 
 lievin as we d begin the wheat-flyin the 
 same way " Susan paused and set her 
 teeth a little vigorously for a moment, 
 then: 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, that was the way 
 it all begun, n I can lay my hand any 
 where n swear as all my bad luck is 
 founded solid on Mr. Kimball in conse 
 quence. The very day after we begun with 
 our fly instid of doublin he halved in the 
 mornin paper n it seemed we d got to 
 buy him all over again or it was good-by 
 Johnny. Me bein the only one with 
 money known to be ready n idle they 
 brought the paper to me to save the share, 
 n I can only say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I 
 wish as you could have seen their faces 
 when they saw mine. I saw I was a lamb 
 sittin among the sharks, but I see, too, as 
 I d have to come to time n I got the 
 107
 
 money, n then we set down Mr. Dill, 
 Mr. Shores, n me to figger on how 
 much of the share was mine on the new 
 deal. It struck me, n it strikes me now, 
 n it always will strike me, as any one as 
 owns two-fifths of a thing and then buys 
 the whole thing over again owns seven- 
 fifths of it from then on, but Mr. Dill had 
 the face to tell me to my face as it wa n t so 
 at all. He figgered the share at 100 n 
 us paid down at 50 n me all together as 
 aggravatin up to 45, n I could only sit 
 starin n stark ravin dumb to see where 
 he would come out after that. I did n t say 
 nothin of what I felt to him or Mr. Shores, 
 for the very good reason as I wanted to save 
 all my feelin s for Mr. Kimball, but I tell 
 you that a volcano gettin itself made in the 
 beginnin is floatin lily-pads beside the in 
 side of me that hour. 
 
 " I went down-town that afternoon n 
 I aired myself pretty thoroughly over the 
 1 08
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 whole town, I can assure you. Mr. Allen 
 said I d better pocket my loss V give up 
 dabblin in stocks, but I did n t see no great 
 sense in what he said. I did n t have nothin 
 to pocket, everything was gone, n so far 
 as dabblin goes I wa n t dabblin , I was in 
 up to my nose. But Mr. Kimball come 
 out as brassy as a bass-drum n showed me 
 a picture of wheat layin on his back in bed 
 takin a tonic with four doctors doin up his 
 room work for him. The doctors was all 
 millionaires on that stock list of railroads 
 n I counted on their knowin what they 
 were givin him, so I come home quite a 
 little easier, n that night I slept like a ton 
 of hay. But the next day ! my Lord 
 alive, you remember the next day, don t 
 you, Mrs. Lathrop, n it must have been 
 arsenic as them four had put in his bottle, 
 for I was up in the garret makin a thistle 
 down pillow n there come Ed tearin up 
 on his bicycle to tell me as I must stick in 
 109
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 ten dollars more on a margin. c On a what ? 
 I hollered from the window. f On a mar 
 gin, he hollered from under the porch. 
 Well, really, Mrs. Lathrop, I do believe 
 if he had n t been under the porch I 
 would have throwed something down on 
 him. My, but I was mad ! I come down 
 that garret-ladder like a greased pan n I 
 tied my bonnet on n walked straight in 
 on Mr. Kimball. That was one time as he 
 did very little jokin , n in the end he put 
 in five of the ten himself n then we both 
 sat down n tried to figger out as to 
 how much of that share we each owned. I 
 will confess as takin down stoves was lookin 
 out of the window beside that job, n in 
 the end he made out as that if the share was 
 worth the whole of itself I d own half, but 
 bein worth only what had happened to it 
 there was n t the half in the whole. So I 
 come home n dreamed nothin but night 
 mares runnin wildly up n down me. 
 no
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 " You know what happened next ! it 
 was the next mornin , n I was makin 
 bread with a very heavy dough when Ed 
 come bouncin in for three dollars more 
 margin. Well, I honestly thought I d 
 bu st. I blazed up so quick n so sudden 
 that Ed fell back agin the table, n then 
 I shook till the window rattled. It was 
 a good minute before I could speak, n 
 when I spoke, I may in truth remark, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, that I never spoke plainer nor 
 firmer in my life, f Edward Andrews 
 I says c Edward Andrews, you paddle 
 yourself right back to Mr. Kimball n 
 tell him that my patience is very short n 
 is gettin shorter each minute, n you may 
 just casually mention that I ain t got no 
 more money to margin with not now n 
 not never. If a thing as I Ve paid nigh to 
 eight-fifths for is shrunk to less than half 
 of itself Mr. Dill n Mr. Shores can mar 
 gin for it from now on I m done forever. 
 in
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 N I was done, too but I never bargained 
 on what came next! Mr. Kimball traded 
 that share in wheat for two in a Refrigerator 
 Trust n never even so much as sneezed 
 about it to me, n I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 as I consider that the Bible sayin* f Honor 
 among thieves ought to apply to me just 
 as much as to any one else. N there I 
 went into the city as unsuspectin as a can 
 brimful of buttermilk n bought a paper to 
 read comin home on the cars, n what should 
 I unfold but wheat runnin up a ladder 
 along with a bull to get out of the way of 
 a lot of wild-lookin lambs ! The ladder- 
 rungs was numbered n I was sharp enough 
 to see as them numbers was money n 
 that wheat had one leg safe on no; so 
 I kited home to sell out n it was then 
 I learned about the Refrigerator ! 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Lathrop! well, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, what do you think was my 
 feelin s then ? I tell you boilin lava n 
 112
 
 MISS CLEGG^S SPECULATIONS 
 
 India s sunny strand was n t hotter than me 
 that minute. Me the backbone of the 
 whole thing n sold out like I was a 
 mummy while I was in town buyin darnin - 
 cotton !" 
 
 Miss Clegg shifted her weight to the 
 other foot and drew a long, fresh breath. 
 
 " Mr. Kimball n me has never been the 
 same since," she continued with warmth ; 
 "we had enough to make us different, 
 Heaven knows, for from that day on mis 
 fortune has just dogged and rabbited me, 
 I know. The winter was so cold that the 
 only way the Refrigerator Trust could come 
 out even was to burn up toward spring, n 
 the day it burnt wheat was sittin on 140, 
 kissin his hand to the new crop." 
 
 "But Mr. Kim " interposed Mrs. 
 Lathrop. 
 
 " Oh, well, of course, havin Mr. Shores 
 fail right opposite brightened everything for 
 him I d smile myself if any one was to 
 8 "3
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN\S DOOR 
 
 fail right opposite me, n I said just that 
 very thing to Mr. Shores the mornin after. 
 I says, I says, f Mr. Shores, you must 
 consider that this is a world of ups and 
 downs, n that if you don t like to fail your 
 failure is makin Mr. Kimball happy n 
 your loss will be his credit. But Mr. 
 Shores was too busy to talk, so I bought 
 two skewers to encourage him n come out, 
 n within a week I found to my sorrow as 
 I was pretty unpleasantly near to a mark- 
 down sale myself." 
 
 "It was " observed Mrs. Lathrop, 
 sadly. 
 
 "Yes," said her friend, "that s just 
 when it was, that very self-same week. 
 I was in the square listenin to Gran ma 
 Mullins everlastin tale of woe over Hiram 
 n Lucy, n up come the blacksmith with 
 a tale of woe for myself. Now, Mrs. Lath 
 rop, you know me n you Ve known me a 
 long time n you Ve heard me tell this a 
 114
 
 MISS CLEGG^S SPECULATIONS 
 
 good many times n yet I want to ask you 
 one time more, do you think any one but 
 the blacksmith n Mr. Dill would ever 
 have blamed me for the crick s washing out 
 back of the blacksmith s n lettin the an 
 vil n the hind legs of Mr. Dill s horse 
 slide out sudden ? Of course, I own the 
 blacksmith shop n of course I rent it, but 
 as I told him n Mr. Dill both that 
 very day nobody can t rent common 
 sense nor yet keep track of men s washouts 
 n horses hind legs. I knowed all the 
 time I was walkin towards the crick that 
 it was goin to be a bad business, but I 
 never expected to see nothin as looked 
 like Mr. Dill s horse, n I never again 
 shall hope to see nothin as 11 look like 
 Mr. Dill s looks as he looked at the horse. 
 Not as his horse was n t worth lookin at 
 either. His legs had gone out behind so 
 far n so unexpected that it seemed like he 
 could n t get them high enough n close
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSASTS DOOR 
 
 enough to suit him, V he just stood there 
 drawin them up alternate for all the world 
 like a fly on fly-paper. Mr. Dill said he 
 felt like if his horse was n t ever goin to be 
 able to h ist his legs no quicker n that he d 
 have to have damages, n at that word I 
 nigh to sat right down. I tell you what, 
 Mrs. Lathrop, Mr. Weskin has bred this 
 damage idea too deep into this town for any 
 comfort. It s got to where it s better to 
 hurt yourself most any way than to damage 
 some one else only a little. I would n t take 
 the chances of sayin * shoo to a hen on a 
 slippery mornin , n things has come to a 
 pretty pass when you ve got to consider 
 a hen s back-slidin s. Such bein the case I 
 felt more n a little troubled when Mr. Dill 
 said damages, but I tried to look on the 
 bright side, n I told him that it seemed to 
 me that a proper-minded horse would have 
 hauled in his legs when he felt himself slip- 
 pin* in half. Mr. Dill said his horse unfor- 
 116
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 tunately could n t see with his tail n was 
 also brought up to consider anvils as solid. 
 I answered as all I could say was as it was a 
 great pity as his horse was n t built enough 
 like the rest of the world to have better 
 hindsight than foresight, n then I looked 
 at the anvil in the crick n then I come 
 home." 
 
 " N that " said Mrs. Lathrop, sadly. 
 
 " Yes, that very night ! it was that 
 very night that the lightnin struck my 
 house " Susan halted a moment to turn 
 and look at the house. " I never will see 
 why the lightnin had to strike my house, 
 Mrs. Lathrop, with yours so handy right 
 next door ; but it did strike it n me 
 inside sleepin the sleep of the nigh to 
 poverty-stricken n done-up, n never as 
 much as dreamin of bein woke by a 
 brick bouncin out of my own flesh n 
 blood stove-hole. My heavens alive ! what 
 a night that was, n even if nothin catched
 
 fire everythin in kingdom come rained in, 
 n when mornin come n I see what a 
 small hole it was after all I would n t ever 
 have believed it if you d swore it till the 
 week after doomsday." 
 
 " And then " said Mrs. Lathrop, sym 
 pathetically. 
 
 " Yes, n then come the roof-mendin . 
 I never can feel to blame myself there 
 because I did n t want to pay no carpenter, 
 n you know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, as 
 it looked just as easy to get up on that 
 roof as to fall off any other. I hung the 
 shingles around my neck n put the nails 
 in my mouth n the hammer down my 
 back, n then I went up the lattice n got 
 over the little window on to the ridge-pole. 
 You know, Mrs. Lathrop, how simple it all 
 seemed from the ground, n I was to just 
 sit edgeways from the end of the peak right 
 along up to the hole, but you ve heard me 
 remark afore n I will now remark again 
 118
 
 MISS CLEGG^S SPECULATIONS 
 
 as no one on the ground has any notion of 
 ridge-poles as they really are. A ridge-pole 
 from the ground, Mrs. Lathrop, looks like 
 it could n t be fell off, but from itself it 
 feels like it could n t be stuck on to, n 
 I thought I d swallow the last one of them 
 nails gaspin afore I got to the hole. You 
 saw me tryin to get to the hole, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, n then you saw me tryin to 
 get the hammer. I thought I d go somer- 
 settin head over heels afore I got it fished 
 out n then there was n t no place to lay it 
 down ! 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I never shall be 
 able to look back on that day and hour 
 without a cold conscience. It was certainly 
 a awful time. I took a nail out of my 
 mouth n a shingle off my neck n made 
 ready to begin. I took the hammer n 
 just then I looked down n if there 
 was n t the minister n his wife just turnin 
 in my gate ! 
 
 119
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAWS DOOR 
 
 " Well, of course, that came nigh to endin 
 me ever n ever ! No Christian would 
 ever dream of answering her front- door bell 
 from her back ridge-pole, n I never was 
 one to do nothin as folks could talk of. I 
 see it was do or die right then or there n 
 I made a quick slide for the porch roof. 
 You know what happened, n I never 
 have felt to forgive the minister, even if it 
 was n t him as drove that unexpected nail 
 in my roof. Mrs. Lathrop, we ve spoke 
 of this afore, n I ve said then, n I 11 
 say now, that in spite of my likin for you, 
 no one as rocks forever on a cushion can be 
 able to even surmise what it is to slide quick 
 over a unexpected nail, n so it was only 
 natural that even in the first hour I never 
 looked for anything from you but Pond s 
 Extract. But I may remark further for 
 it s right you should know that nothin 
 in my whole life ever rasped me worse the 
 wrong way of my hair than to watch you 
 1 20
 
 MISS CLEGG\S SPECULATIONS 
 
 rockin that fortnight that I had my choice 
 to stand up or go to bed, n even in bed I 
 had to get up n get out if I wanted to 
 turn over. Mr. Shores told Mrs. Macy as 
 probably it was the sun as had drawed that 
 nail, n all I can say is that I hope if it 
 was the sun n he ever takes it into his 
 head to draw another of my nails, that he ll 
 either draw it completely out or leave it 
 completely in, for I know as I never want 
 to come down from another ridge-pole by 
 way of another nail not while I m alive 
 anyhow." 
 
 A short pause and a long sigh. Mrs. 
 Lathrop sighed, too. 
 
 "Then come the bill from the carpenter 
 n from young Doctor Brown, n for 
 raisin the anvil, n I was hardly onto my 
 legs before Mr. Dill s horse quit his hind 
 ones. Mr. Weskin was up n doin as 
 usual n advised bringin a joint suit with 
 the blacksmith for the anvil n me for the 
 121
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 crick, but even if I was helpless the black 
 smith wa n t goin to be sued if he could do 
 anything else, n he brung Mr. Dill up to 
 see if we could n t arbitrate ourselves. Mr. 
 Dill s always been very nice to me, but 
 that wheat-fly made him so mad to be paid 
 something by somebody that it took the 
 blacksmith n me and four glasses of root 
 beer to bring him to reason. In the end he 
 said if the blacksmith would shoe everything 
 he owned till it died n if I would put up 
 Lucy s currants till I died that he d call 
 them two legs straight. We wrote a paper 
 n signed it n I went to bed, n seemed 
 like my trials were certainly more than any 
 mortal could stand under, particularly when 
 you consider that a good deal of the time I 
 had n t been able to sit down. 
 
 " I don t see why any one should be sur 
 prised over me lookin* worried. It says in 
 the Bible that if you n Mohamet ain t on 
 the mountain you re bound to have the 
 122
 
 MISS CLEGG S SPECULATIONS 
 
 mountain n Mohamet both on you, V I 
 must say I believe it s true. I ve had to 
 take the ten dollars as I never touch, n 
 the ten as I never will touch, n the ten as 
 I never will touch so help me Heaven n 
 spend em all. N I don t know what I 
 am goin to do now, I m sure. Bein your 
 self, Mrs. Lathrop, you can t in reason be 
 expected to understand what it is to me to 
 have no one but you to turn to. You Ve 
 got your good points, but you ain t no 
 hand to have ideas nor yet to advise. I ve 
 been slow in comin to that view of you, but 
 1 ve got to it at last, n got over it, n 
 I m walkin alone now on the further side." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop looked apologetic, but 
 remained tritely silent. Susan backed away 
 from the fence. 
 
 " It s gettin damp," she said ; " you ve 
 got rheumatism anyway, so you don t care 
 if you take cold, but I ain t very anxious 
 to, n so I think we d ought to go in." 
 123
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop nodded, and turned to go. 
 
 " I hope I have n t made you feel uneasy, 
 Mrs. Lathrop," Susan said, as she also 
 turned ; " you know me well enough to 
 know as if I come to starvation it would 
 never be nothin but a joy to me to see 
 you starve with me." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop nodded. 
 
 Susan nodded. 
 
 And thus they parted for the night. 
 
 124
 
 PART SECOND 
 
 GRAN MA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 IT was some days later a summer 
 afternoon. The setting sun was bright 
 ening the western sky, and Susan, with 
 her bonnet on and her sun-shade leaning 
 beside her, sat on Mrs. Lathrop s porch and 
 discoursed in a fashion that partook alter 
 nately of the lively and of the dejected. 
 Mrs. Lathrop rocked calmly and listened 
 yet more so. 
 
 " Things is goin worse n worse," said 
 the caller ; " I ve had to bring myself down 
 to doin my own weedin , so as to save that 
 ten cents a week I give Augustus, n Lord 
 knows I d gladly put up anything for any 
 body, but everybody in this town puts up 
 themselves. I don t know how I will get 
 125
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 along if suthin don t turn up, n I can t 
 see what can turn up with every one head 
 over ears deep in the weddin s n young 
 Doctor Brown settin the whole town mad 
 over the crick. That s a very strange thing 
 about the crick, Mrs. Lathrop, n it seems 
 to be pretty generally admitted now that 
 inside or out the crick s good for most any 
 thing in anybody, but this new idea as it s a 
 sure cure for asthma is just doin folks up 
 alive. Young Doctor Brown says he s been 
 investigatin under his own microscope, n 
 he says there ain t a doubt but the crick 
 polliwogs can eat up the asthma polliwogs 
 as fast as you can shake em together in 
 a bottle. He s goin to Meadville n 
 shake em up for old Doctor Carter, n 
 then he s goin to send to the city for a pint 
 of typhoid fever n a half-pint of diphtheria 
 n let em loose on that. Mr. Kimball 
 asked him if he was positive which side was 
 doin the swallowin n if he had the crick 
 126
 
 ones wear a band on their left arms when 
 they went into battle, but young Doctor 
 Brown explained as there could n t be no 
 mistake, for asthma has got four claws in its 
 tail and the crick has horns all over. Mrs. 
 Macy says, under them circumstances she 
 shall make her tea with boiled rain-water 
 hereafter, n she says she ain t sure as she s 
 got enough faith left in the crick to even 
 scrub with it." 
 
 If I" _ said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Gran ma Mullins is a good deal upset," 
 said Susan ; " she don t like the notion of 
 young Doctor Brown s bringin so much ty 
 phoid and diphtheria into town just as Hi 
 ram s goin to get married a tall. She says 
 she s got enough to worry over about Hiram 
 without that. She says she s feelin worse 
 over him every day. She can t talk about 
 it without chokin . She says she s got his 
 rattle and his first sock pinned up by the 
 clock, so every time she looks up at the 
 127
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 time she can see em n cry again. She 
 says it ain t in reason as Lucy 11 ever under 
 stand Hiram. She says Hiram s a very 
 singular disposition, but if you always ask 
 him to do what you don t want done n to 
 never do what s got to be done right off 
 he s one of the handiest men around the 
 house as she ever see. She says he eats a lot 
 of sugar n you must n t notice it, cause he 
 always says as he never does ; and he most 
 never goes to church, but you must n t tell 
 him so, cause he says he goes regular, n 
 she says as he likes to keep molasses candy 
 in his pockets n under his pillow, n 
 heaven knows, likin molasses candy ain t 
 no crime, and yet she s almost sure Lucy s 
 goin* to make his life miserable over it. She 
 says her cup was full enough without no 
 pint of diphtheria added, n I d n know as 
 I ever see any one more downhearted. Mrs. 
 Macy n me stayed and shook our heads 
 with her for a while n then we went on to 
 128
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 Mrs. Allen s to look at Polly s weddin 
 things. Every one in town is goin to look 
 at Polly s weddin things, n you d really 
 suppose as the deacon was any one in the 
 world but the deacon to see how they ve 
 fixed Polly up to marry him. Four of 
 everythin n six o some. Only not a 
 apron in the whole, the deacon wouldn t 
 have it. He said right out as he wa n t 
 marryin Polly to work her to skin n bone, 
 and he knows how he wants his house kept 
 n his cookin done, so he ll just keep on 
 keepin n cookin as usual. He s fixed up 
 a good deal ; the canary bird s got a brass 
 hook after all these years o wooden-peggin , 
 n he s bought one o them new style door 
 mats made out o wire with c Welcome P. W. 
 let into it in green marbles. { P. W. stands 
 for f Polly White, n Mr. Kimball told 
 Mr. Macy they had a awful time over 
 sticking the marbles in n a awful time 
 gettin the letters to suit. The deacon was 
 9 129
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAWS DOOR 
 
 for <P. W. all along V Polly was for 
 the deacon, but Mrs. Allen was for Polly s 
 name, because Polly ain t married yet, n 
 they got P. A. stuck in afore any one 
 knowed how it d look, n then they tried 
 to patch it up with a * W added n that 
 seemed like it was a new way to say to be 
 sure n wipe your feet. Mr. Kimball told 
 Mrs. Macy he nigh to died laughin , n 
 he did n t mind how he broke his nails 
 pickin marbles in n out when he could 
 have so much fun. So they settled for 
 * P. W., n Mrs. Macy s more than a little 
 bitter over it all, for she says the deacon 11 
 soon come to his senses n then it ll be too 
 late to get that * P. W. off of his door-mat 
 again. But the deacon ain t carin . He s 
 friskin around like a colt, n they say he s 
 got two new suits of clothes n a new hat 
 for the goin away. He was always that way 
 though I recolleck Mr. Kimball s sayin 
 when Mrs. White died that the deacon had 
 130
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 been dyein his hair n bein patient for over 
 fifteen years. 
 
 "Well about them weddin things of 
 Polly s ! Mrs. Allen took me upstairs 
 n I saw em all. The weddin veil is 
 looped along the lamberquin with a glove 
 pinned to each curtain, the dress hangs on a 
 frame between against the window shade, 
 n the under things is folded on a table at 
 one side with the stockin s tied together in a 
 true lovers -knot. I must say they Ve done 
 it all real tasty, with the deacon s picture in 
 the middle leanin up against her shoes. 
 It s a open question about the shoes still, 
 cause if Polly wears any shoes a fall it only 
 makes her that much more higher than the 
 deacon, but Mrs. Allen says, seein as it s as 
 it is, she hopes Polly 11 only think o how the 
 higher her heels is the more room it ll give 
 her train to spread. It s a very handsome 
 train n they ve measured so s it Ml make the 
 next set o parlor curtains at the Whites .
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN^S DOOR 
 
 " I declare, Mrs. Lathrop, I can t tell 
 you how all these weddin s n talkin s do 
 blue me up ! To see every one spendin 
 money n rne without any even to save. 
 Mr. Dill asked me yesterday if I did n t 
 want to take Gran ma Mullins to board for 
 the honeymoon, an I suppose I could 
 maybe do it, but oh my ! I can t say as I 
 take to that idea much. I m fond o 
 Gran ma Mullins, but these days Hiram is 
 nothin but a bottomless pit when she gets 
 at him, n a honeymoon is a long time 
 to hear one person talk about one person. 
 I can t say as I ever had any thin again 
 Hiram except that time t he did n t catch 
 Jathrop to lynch him, but all the same I 
 ain t over fond o any one as goes around 
 with their mouth half-open the year through. 
 Mr. Kimball said once as Hiram Mullins 
 was the best design for a penny bank as he 
 ever saw, n Polly Allen says she s more n 
 sorry for Lucy, cause no matter how hard 
 132
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 Lucy was to try, Polly says it stands to 
 reason as she could n t get more n half a 
 kiss at once. Mrs. Allen giggled, n we 
 all did, too, cause the deacon carries his 
 mouth so tight shut that it s a question if 
 Polly ever gets a kiss a tall. 
 
 " Mrs. Brown says Doctor Brown is 
 gettin surer n surer about the crick. 
 He s been paintin the cat with asthma n 
 then washin him in crick water, n Mrs. 
 Brown says he wa n t dead up to the time he 
 run away anyhow." 
 
 "That big " queried Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Yes, with the yellow eyes. He s been 
 gone a week, but they don t care. Mrs. 
 Brown says that cat was so everlastin ly 
 around that he made her feel like she was 
 married again, n she was glad to have him 
 light out. She says he was so like a man it 
 was awful, wantin to sit by the fire n 
 think till you was dyin to empty the tea 
 kettle over his head, n forever placidly 
 133
 
 yawnin when you was turned a hundred 
 ends at once. Mrs. Brown says Amelia s 
 goin to give a wash-cloth shower for Polly 
 and Lucy day after to-morrow. She says 
 young Doctor Brown says if he comes out 
 on top about that crick-cure for asthma 
 Amelia can do anythin she pleases. He 
 says this town 11 be a real cure then, n 
 we ll see no end of money flow into us, 
 she says he says we can all take boarders at 
 fancy prices n serve em to the crick at a 
 penny a glass. I don t know but what I 
 might take a few quiet boarders myself that 
 way. They d be quiet because they could n t 
 be lively, n the asthma d choke em to 
 where they could n t eat much." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " I could have Liza Em ly to help me, I 
 presume. I could advertise n when they 
 answered I could go in town n look at 
 them and take my pick. I d want to be 
 sure as they were quiet, n I d want to be 
 134
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 sure as they were sick I would n t take no 
 chances at havin one o these merry-go- 
 round summer families land on me, I know. 
 Like as not there d be a boy, n you 
 know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, that while a 
 boy may perhaps accidentally happen to be 
 a comfort he s very much more likely just 
 to be a boy." 
 
 "Yes," said Mrs. Lathrop "! " 
 
 "Yes, o course," said Susan, " n look 
 where he come out! If Jathrop had been 
 a girl how different everything would have 
 been for him not to speak o the rest of 
 us. You can t deny that, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 n you can t deny either as Jathrop would 
 have been better off himself if he d been 
 any other thing as God ever made." 
 
 " He " said the mother. 
 
 " You thought so," said Susan, " but 
 
 nobody else ever did. Mothers is always 
 
 mothers n the best will in the world don t 
 
 seem able to help em out o the scrape. 
 
 135
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSANS DOOR 
 
 There s Gran ma Mullins just cryin her 
 eyes out these days over Hiram, n you d 
 think Lucy was a sea-serpent and Hiram 
 was chained to a rock to hear her go on. 
 She says she s raised Hiram so careful to 
 be a comfort to her all these years n she 
 says he promised her when he was only 
 two n a half years old that he d never 
 smoke nor drink nor get married. She 
 says she s trusted him all his life n this 
 is the first time as he ever broke his word 
 to her. She says all his little ways is just 
 so sweet, but she feels sure Lucy won t 
 never let him dip his bread in the platter- 
 gravy n Hiram s so awful fond of plat 
 ter-gravy. She says he likes to have the 
 potato-smasher right by his place at the 
 table n pound the meat to make more juice 
 come out, n she says it s been nothin 
 but a joy to her always to let him, cause 
 his father died when he wa n t but eleven 
 months old. But she says she just knows 
 136
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS^S WOE 
 
 Lucy 11 be death on Hiram s potato-smasher, 
 V she says she most feels as if Lucy was 
 goin to be death on Hiram, too. She says 
 she can t look at Hiram these days without 
 chokin over thinkin how Lucy s goin to 
 look at him inside o three months. She 
 says Hiram s a very tender nature, he can t 
 be hurried awake mornin s, n if he wakes 
 up in the night he has to have gingerbread 
 n* whistle till he drops off to sleep again. 
 She says no one as really loved Hiram would 
 mind such little trifles as that, but she says 
 she has her doubts as to Lucy s really lovin 
 Hiram, n even if she does really love him 
 now, she says it ain t no reason as she 11 keep 
 on lovin him long. She says time alone 11 
 tell what the end 11 be, n she only hopes n 
 prays that whatever Lucy does or does n t 
 do, that she ll never forget as she was 
 well n richly warned beforehand, for she 
 says she went herself in streamin tears n 
 begged her not to marry Hiram, an she s 
 137
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSANS DOOR 
 
 kept straight on till now she s almost 
 done it." 
 
 Susan ceased speaking and took up her 
 parasol. 
 
 "Are "remonstrated Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " I must," said her neighbor ; " I m 
 hungry n I want time to beat up some 
 soda-biscuit. It s no use your askin me 
 to stay to supper, because my heart is set on 
 soda-biscuit n I like my own better than 
 any one could ever like yours. I don t say 
 that unkindly, Mrs. Lathrop, for I ain t got 
 a unkind thing about me, n I could n t 
 lay anything up against you even if I 
 wanted to. Even when I get all at outs 
 with you over your rockin I never lay it 
 up against you we ve been friends too 
 many years. If you can be happy rockin 
 through life till some fine day you rock 
 over backward into your coffin, all I can 
 say is that it won t be my funeral, n bein 
 as it will be yours, I shall be too busy that 
 138
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS^S WOE 
 
 day to fuss over ifs V ands. I m keepin* 
 the board n saw-horses as father had for 
 you, n the black bow from his door-bell, 
 too, n after you re done with them I m 
 intendin to give them to the first needy n 
 
 deservin person as comes along in need of 
 
 > 
 em. 
 
 Susan started down the steps. 
 
 "But " protested Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Probably not," said her friend, " but 
 you never can tell. Anyhow I m goin 
 now. You don t appear to consider how 
 valuable my time is, Mrs. Lathrop, but 
 that s another thing as I don t lay up 
 against you." 
 
 For the next week Miss Clegg s financial 
 difficulties rubbed on in much the same 
 way. So did the wedding preparations of 
 Polly Allen and Lucy Dill. Debts and 
 dates are two things which are famous for 
 movement, and in between her periods of 
 139
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 repose in her own house and of activity 
 about town Susan seized every chance pos 
 sible to impart the impending state of every 
 one s affairs to her neighbor. 
 
 "The blacksmith was up again last 
 night," she said one sunny morning, when 
 the need of hanging out her wash had 
 brought her and Mrs. Lathrop within con 
 versational distance ; " he wants to have his 
 rent a little lowered so as he can bric-a-brac 
 the side of the crick himself. He says 
 there s stones enough to do it, only he 
 must hire a man to help him. I told him 
 I d consider it, n goin out in the dark 
 he fell over the scraper. I declare I got 
 a damage-suit chill right down my spine 
 n I run out with a candle, n , thank 
 heaven, he had n t broke nothin but the 
 scraper. I Ve been wonderin if it would 
 pay to sue him for that, but I don t believe 
 I will, because folks has been fallin over it 
 ever since father nailed it to the front o the 
 140
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 step so s to let his pet weasel go back n 
 forth at the side. The weasel s been dead for 
 ages, but the scraper s never been changed. 
 I wish I could remember that weasel. 
 Father loved him n mother hated him, 
 she said she was always findin him 
 asleep in her shoes and sleeves. I was 
 speakin about it to Gran ma Mullins to-day 
 n she said she remembered comin to tea 
 at mother s once n their findin the weasel 
 in the tea-pot. I guess that s the first time 
 Gran ma Mullins has spoken of any livin 
 soul but Hiram in six months. She s 
 feelin worse than ever over Lucy s decidin 
 to be married at home on account o the 
 blue bengaline. She says that s a extra 
 turn o the ice-cream-freezer handle as she 
 never counted on havin to submit to. She 
 says she naturally supposed if Hiram got 
 married as she d sit in the front pew for 
 once in her life, n see the bride s dress 
 good, n hear the answers plain, n now 
 141
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSANS DOOR 
 
 instid her only child, as she s loved like a 
 mother ever since he was born, is goin to 
 be married in a parlor as private as if he was 
 bein buried from the smallpox ! She says, 
 oh dear, oh dear, seems like she never will be 
 able to live down that mirror as she smashed 
 with her head the first time she saw what 
 she looked like. She says she wa n t 
 more n nine months old n yet that mirror 
 has tagged her right through life ever since. 
 She says she missed all her school exami 
 nations n did n t get the deacon n did 
 get her husband, n as if that wa n t 
 enough she must needs lose her husband, 
 n she s had no choice but to be a widow 
 ever since, n she s been sprained in all 
 directions n been broke in all directions 
 n her mince-meat most always ferments 
 n Hiram s been her one bright spot n 
 now he s got to get married in a parlor. 
 She says the worst is as it would draw 
 bread right out of a stone to see how 
 142
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 cheerful Hiram is these days, she says 
 any one would suppose as Lucy Dill was 
 goiri to surely make him happy to see 
 how he goes smilin around. She says it s 
 one of the most pathetikest sights as she 
 ever see to watch Hiram markin* off the 
 days on his calendar, n she cried when 
 she told me. She says no one need n t 
 tell her as there s any one else like Hiram, 
 for she knows him well enough to know 
 as it could n t possibly be true. And then 
 she cried again. I tell you what, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, I may be pretty well churned 
 up over my money troubles, but I can 
 assure you as I feel like a monkey jump- 
 in through three rings at once beside 
 Gran ma Mullins. Mrs. Macy says that 
 when Hiram goes to see Lucy you can 
 hear her sobbin way to the crick, Mrs. 
 Macy says the first night she thought it 
 was Mr. Jilkins comin into town with a 
 hot wheel. I would n t be surprised myself 
 143
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 to see Gran ma Mullins drop dead when 
 she hears Lucy get Hiram for better for 
 worse. It s awful to see a mother suffer 
 so. I don t see how Hiram stands it. If 
 I was him *n she had a stroke at my wed 
 ding I should call it a stroke o luck V 
 nothin else. Not that I don t feel kindly 
 disposed towards Gran ma Mullins, but I m 
 pretty tired hearin her tale o woe. Other 
 folks troubles is generally more interestin 
 to other folks than they are to me, and be 
 sides, if it really comes to talkin of troubles, 
 nobody ain t got no more to talk about 
 than I have myself. This money question 
 is nippin me sharper in the calves every 
 day, and when Mrs. Macy told me yester 
 day as her steps was givin out I felt like 
 sittin down on em when they done it. 
 Lord knows, I d never be one to wave 
 my flag from no post-hole in the thick of 
 no flight, n you know yourself, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, that as a general thing I keep a 
 144
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 stiff upper-cut through black and blue, but 
 still if Mrs. Macy s steps really do break 
 down I feel like I shall have no choice but 
 to Jack-and-Jill it after em." 
 
 "Maybe " suggested Mrs. Lathrop, 
 hopefully. 
 
 " Well, I ain t a-expectin it anyhow. 
 I m expectin ruin, n I can hear it howlin 
 and nosin around my house all night long. 
 Somethin was swimmin in the cistern last 
 night, too, if it made the other side safe 
 I m all right, but if it drowned there 11 be 
 another bill. It ain t no use your tryin* to 
 cheer me up, Mrs. Lathrop, because I ain t 
 to be cheered. I know I m goin to the 
 poorhouse, n I don t thank you nor no 
 other man for tellin me to my face as what 
 I know ain t so. Gran rna Mullins n me 
 is two very sad hearts these days, n 
 Heaven help us both. To hear her talk 
 you d think the Siamese twins was the 
 
 sun and moon apart compared to her n 
 10 I45
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 Hiram, n now she s got to give him up 
 to Lucy Dill. She says Lucy ain t old 
 enough to appreciate Hiram ; she says 
 Lucy 11 expect Hiram to be pleased, n 
 Hiram ain t never pleased ; she says when 
 Hiram keeps still n don t say nothin he s 
 pleased, n when he goes to bed n to 
 sleep right off he s real pleased. She says 
 Lucy won t understand, n then there 11 
 be trouble. She says trouble is a awful 
 thing to have, n she knows all about it 
 cause she had it with her husband. She 
 says the only good o havin trouble with 
 your husband is the comfort you get out o 
 talkin about it, n that when she thinks as 
 Lucy 11 get her comfort out o talkin about 
 Hiram she pretty nearly gets up and goes 
 right out of her mind." 
 
 Susan stopped suddenly ; she had been 
 standing with her basket in her hand, in the 
 attitude of one arrested for a moment s 
 inquiry, throughout this conversation. 
 146
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 " Did you " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 "Yes, I did. It wasn t no great joy, 
 pinched as I am, but I believe in doin what 
 you can for people gettin married God 
 help em n I give em each somethin . 
 I give Lucy a very good pair of scissors as 
 mother had, as always grabs me in the joint 
 so I can t use em, n I give Polly our 
 best carvin knife. They was both sharp 
 things, so they each had to give me a cent 
 to hold on to friendship. I know two 
 cents ain t much, but it s better n nothin , 
 n I may tell you in confidence, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, as all my presents 11 be sharp 
 right along from now on." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop raised her eyebrows to 
 testify to the acute perception which had 
 grasped her friend s point at once. 
 
 "Are you " she asked presently. 
 
 "Coin to the weddin s ? oh, yes. It 
 may make me a little blue to look at 
 Lucy, but it could n t but cheer anybody to 
 147
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 compare themselves with Gran ma Mullins. 
 She says it s goin to half murder her, n 
 she s made Hiram promise as he ll give her 
 his first husband s kiss. Lucy s got the 
 idea as she 11 have a weddin procession o 
 Mr. Dill n her, an Hiram n his mother, 
 down the stairs n in through the back 
 parlor. Hiram don t want to, cause he s 
 afraid his mother won t let go of him when 
 the time comes. Hiram says he ain t lived 
 through these last weeks o half stranglin 
 without knowin what he s talkin about al! 
 right, but Lucy s dead set on the procession. 
 They re goin to try n keep Polly n the 
 deacon a little back n out o sight, cause 
 there s a many as thinks as half o Gran ma 
 Mullins s tears is for the deacon, only she 
 can t say so. Mrs. Allen says every one is 
 talkin that idea, n Mrs. Sperrit says she 
 hopes to Heaven as it ain t so, for how the 
 deacon is to be kept a little back God only 
 knows, for he s so happy these days that 
 148
 
 GRANDMA MULLINS S WOE 
 
 he s more than ever everlastin ly on tap. 
 Mrs. Sperrit s been very kind ; she s goin 
 to take Gran ma Mullins to the Dills , V 
 she says she 11 take her home afterwards. 
 Gran ma Mullins is goin to carry ammonia 
 n* camphor, n* be sure an have the corks 
 out of em both." 
 
 " I wish " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Yes, I do, too," said her friend, heartily, 
 " but I 11 come n tell you about them 
 both right afterwards. I d n know as I 
 was ever more curious in my life than I am 
 to see how Lucy is going to claw Hiram 
 free long enough to marry him. N I m 
 interested in Polly s weddin , too. But 
 there is no use deceivin you as to one 
 thing, Mrs. Lathrop, n that is as what 
 interests me the most of all, is what under 
 the sun I m goin to do myself to get some 
 money. I can t live on bread n water 
 alone, n even if I could, the flour 11 soon 
 give out if I bread it along steady for very 
 149
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 long. I ve got to get some money some 
 how, n I ve about made up my mind as 
 to what I 11 have to do. It makes me sick 
 to think of it, cause I hate him so, but I 
 guess I 11 have to come to it in the end. 
 I 11 go to the weddin s, n then I 11 brace 
 up n make the leap." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop looked perturbed even 
 slightly anxious. 
 
 " I m sorry not to be able to tell you all 
 my plans," Miss Clegg continued, " but " 
 
 She stopped suddenly a train-whistle 
 had sounded afar. 
 
 " My heavens alive ! if that ain t to-day s 
 ten-o clock comin from Meadville, n me 
 solemnly promised to be at Lucy s at half- 
 past nine to help Mrs. Macy stone raisins ! 
 Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I would n t have 
 believed it of you if I had n t been a eye 
 witness! "
 
 PART THIRD 
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 , Lucy has got Hiram!" 
 There was such a strong in 
 flection of triumphant joy in 
 Miss Clegg s voice as she called the momen 
 tous news to her friend that it would have 
 been at once and most truthfully sur 
 mised that the getting of Hiram had been 
 a more than slight labor. 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop was waiting by the fence, 
 impatience written with a wandering reflec 
 tion all over the serenity of her every-day 
 expression. Susan only waited to lay aside 
 her bonnet and mitts and then hastened to 
 the fence herself. 
 
 " Mrs. Lathrop, you never saw nor heard 
 the like of this weddin day in all your own
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 days to be or to come, V I don t suppose 
 there ever will be anything like it again, 
 for Lucy Dill did n t cut no figger in her 
 own weddin a /<z//, the whole thing was 
 Gran ma Mullins first, last n forever here 
 after. I tell you it looked once or twice 
 as if it would n t be a earthly possibility to 
 marry Hiram away from his mother, n 
 now that it s all over people can t do any 
 thing but say as after all Lucy ought to 
 consider herself very lucky as things turned 
 out, for if things had n t turned out as they 
 did turn out I don t believe anything on 
 earth could have unhooked that son, n 
 I m willin to swear that anywhere to any 
 one. 
 
 "Do you know, Mrs. Lathrop, that 
 Gran ma Mullins was so bad off last night 
 
 o 
 
 as they had to put a mustard plaster onto 
 her while Hiram went to see Lucy for the 
 last time, n Mrs. Macy says as she never 
 hear the beat o her memory, for she says 
 152
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 she ll take her Bible oath as Gran ma Mul- 
 lins told her what Hiram said n done 
 every minute o his life while he was gone 
 to see Lucy Dill. N she cried, too, n 
 took on the whole time she was talkin n 
 said Heaven help her, for nobody else 
 could, n she just knowed Lucy d get 
 tired o Hiram s story n he can t be happy 
 a whole day without he tells it, n she s 
 most sure Lucy won t like his singin 
 * Marchin Through Georgia after the first 
 month or two, n it s the only tune as 
 Hiram has ever really took to. Mrs. 
 Macy says she soon found she could n t do 
 nothin to stem the tide except to drink tea 
 n listen, so she drank an listened till Hiram 
 come home about eleven. Oh, my, but she 
 says they had the time then ! Gran ma 
 Mullins let him in herself, n just as soon 
 as he was in she bu st into floods of tears 
 n would n t let him loose under no consid 
 eration. She says Hiram managed to get 
 153
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSANS DOOR 
 
 his back to the wall for a brace cause 
 Gran ma Mullins nigh to upset him every 
 fresh time as Lucy come over her, n Mrs. 
 Macy says she could n t but wonder what 
 the end was goin to be when, toward mid 
 night, Hiram just lost patience n dodged 
 out under her arm n ran up the ladder to 
 the roof-room n they could n t get him to 
 come down again. She says when Gran ma 
 Mullins realized as he would n t come down 
 she most went mad over the notion of her 
 only son s spendin the Christmas Eve to 
 his own weddin sleepin on the floor o the 
 attic n she wanted to poke the cot up to 
 him, but Mrs. Macy says she drew the line 
 at cot-pokin when the cot was all she d 
 have to sleep on herself, n in the end they 
 poked quilts up, n pillows, n doughnuts 
 n cider n blankets, n Hiram made a very 
 good bed on the floor n they all got to 
 sleep about three o clock. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, what do you 
 154
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 think? What do you think? They was 
 so awful tired that none of em woke till 
 Mrs. Sperrit come at eleven next day to 
 take em to the weddin ! Mrs. Macy says 
 she hopes she 11 be put forward all her 
 back-slidin s if she ever gets such a start 
 again. She says when she peeked out 
 between the blinds n see Mrs. Sperrit s 
 Sunday bonnet n realized her own state 
 she nearly had a fit. Mrs. Sperrit had to 
 come in n be explained to, n the worst 
 of it was as Hiram could n t be woke no 
 how. He d pulled the ladder up after him 
 n put the lid on the hole so s to feel safe, 
 n there he was snug as a bug in a rug n 
 where no human bein could get at him. 
 They hollered n banged doors n sharp 
 ened the carvin knife an poured grease on 
 the stove n did anything they could think 
 of, but he never budged. Mrs. Macy says 
 she ne^er was so close to beside herself in all 
 her life before, for Gran ma Mullins cried 
 ISS
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 worse n ever each minute, n Hiram seemed 
 like the very dead could n t wake him. 
 
 " They was all hoppin around half crazy 
 when Mr. Sperrit come along on his way 
 to the weddin n his wife run out n told 
 him what was the matter n he come right 
 in n looked up at the matter. It did n t 
 take long for him to unsettle Hiram, Mrs. 
 Macy says. He got a sulphur candle n 
 tied it to a stick n h isted the lid with 
 another stick, n in less n two minutes 
 they could all hear Hiram sneezin an comin 
 to. N Mrs. Macy says when they hollered 
 what time it was she wishes the whole town 
 might have been there to see Hiram Mul- 
 lins come down to earth. Mr. Sperrit 
 did n t hardly have time to get out o the 
 way n he did n t give his mother no show 
 for one single grab, he just bounced into 
 his room n you could have heard him 
 gettin dressed on the far side o the far 
 bridge. 
 
 156
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 " O course, us at Lucy s did n t know 
 anythin a tall about Mrs. Macy s troubles. 
 We had our own, Heaven help us, n they 
 was enough, for the very first thing of all 
 Mr. Dill caught his pocket on the corner of 
 Mrs. Dill n come within a ace of pullin 
 her off her easel. That would have been a 
 pretty beginnin to Lucy s weddin day if her 
 father had smashed her mother s glass to bits, 
 I guess, but it could n t have made Lucy 
 any worse ; for I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as 
 I never see no one in all my born life act 
 foolisher than Lucy Dill this day. First 
 she d laugh n then she d cry n then she d 
 lose suthin as we d got to have to work 
 with. N when it come to dressin her! 
 well, if she d known as Hiram was sleepin 
 a sleep as next to knowed no wakin she 
 could n t have put on more things wrong 
 side out an hind side before ! She was n t 
 dressed till most every one was there n I 
 was gettin pretty anxious, for Hiram was n t 
 157
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 there neither, n the more fidgety people 
 got the more they caught their corners on 
 Mrs. Dill. I just saved her from Mr. 
 Kimball, n Amelia saw her goin as a re 
 sult o Judge Fitch n hardly had time for 
 a jump. The minister himself was beginnin 
 to cough when, all of a sudden, some one 
 cried as the Sperrits was there. 
 
 " Well, we all squeezed to the window, 
 n* such a sight you never saw. They was 
 gettin Gran ma Mullins out n Hiram was 
 tryin to keep her from runnin the color of 
 his cravat all down his shirt while she was 
 sobbin Hi-i-i-i-ram, Hi-i-i-i-i-ram , in a 
 voice as would wring your very heart dry. 
 They got her out n got her in an got her 
 upstairs, n we all sat down n begin to get 
 ready while Amelia played * Lead, Kindly 
 Light and The Joyous Farmer alternate, 
 cause she d mislaid her Weddin March. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you never knowed 
 nothin like it ! we waited, we waited, 
 158
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 V we waited, V the minister most coughed 
 himself into consumption, n Mrs. Dill got 
 caught on so often that Mr. Kimball told 
 Ed to stand back of her n hold her to the 
 easel every minute. Amelia was just begin 
 ning over again for the seventeenth time 
 when at last we heard em bumpin along 
 downstairs. Seems as all the delay come 
 from Lucy s idea o wantin to walk with her 
 father n* have a weddin procession, instid 
 o her n Hiram comin in together like 
 Christians n lettin Mr. Dill hold Gran ma 
 Mullins up anywhere. Polly says she never 
 see such a time as they had of it ; she 
 says fightin wolves was layin lambs beside 
 the way they talked. Hiram said frank n 
 open as the reason he did n t want to walk 
 in with his mother was he was sure she 
 would n t let him out to get married, but 
 Lucy was dead set on the procession idea. 
 So in the end they done it so, n Gran ma 
 Mullins s sobs fairly shook the house as they 
 159
 
 come through the dinin -room door. Lucy 
 was first with her father n they both had 
 their heads turned backward lookin at 
 Hiram n his mother. 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it was certainly a 
 sight worth seein ! The way that Gran ma 
 Mullinswas glued on! All I can say is as 
 octopuses has got their backs turned in com 
 parison to the way that Hiram seemed to be 
 all wrapped up in her. It looked like wild 
 horses, not to speak of Lucy Dill, would n t 
 never be able to get him loose enough to 
 marry him. The minister was scared ; we 
 was all scared. I never see a worse situation 
 to be in. 
 
 " They come along through the back 
 parlor, Lucy lookin back, Mr. Dill white as 
 a sheet, n* Hiram walkin like a snow- 
 plough as is n t sure how long it can keep on 
 makin it. It seemed like a month as they 
 was under way before they finally got 
 stopped in front o the minister. N then 
 160
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 come the time ! Hiram had to step beside 
 Lucy V take her hand n he could n t ! 
 We all just gasped. There was Hiram 
 tryin to get loose n Mr. Dill tryin to 
 help him. Gran ma Mullins s tears dripped 
 till you could hear em, but she hung on to 
 Hiram like he d paid for it. They worked 
 like Trojan beavers, but as fast as they d 
 get one side of him uncovered she d take a 
 fresh wind-round. I tell you, we all just 
 held our breath, n I bet Lucy was sorry 
 she persisted in havin a procession when 
 she see the perspiration runnin off her 
 father n poor Hiram. 
 
 " Finally Polly got frightened n begun 
 to cry, n at that the deacon put his arm 
 around her n give her a hug, an Gran ma 
 Mullins looked up just in time to see the 
 arm n the hug. It seemed like it was the 
 last hay in the donkey, for she give a weak 
 screech n went right over on Mr. Dill. 
 She had such a grip on Hiram that if it 
 161
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 had n t been for Lucy he d have gone over, 
 too, but Lucy just hung on herself that 
 time, V Hiram was rescued without nothin 
 worse than his hair mussed V one sleeve 
 a little tore. Mr. Sperrit V Mr. Jilkins 
 carried Gran ma Mullins into the dinin - 
 room, n I said to just leave her fainted till 
 after we d got Hiram well n truly married ; 
 so they did. 
 
 " I never see the minister rattle nothin 
 through like that marriage-service. Every 
 one was on whole papers of pins n needles, 
 n the minute it was over every one just 
 felt like sittin right straight down. 
 
 " Mrs. Macy n me went up n watered 
 Gran ma Mullins till we brought her to, 
 n when she learned as it was all done 
 she picked up wonderful n felt as hungry 
 as any one, n come downstairs n kissed 
 Lucy n caught a corner on Mrs. Dill 
 just like she d never been no trouble to 
 no one from first to last. I never see 
 162
 
 such a sudden change in all my life; it 
 was like some miracle had come out all 
 over her V there was n t no one there as 
 was n t rejoiced to death. 
 
 " We all went out in the dinin -room n 
 the sun shone in n every one laughed 
 over nothin a tall. Mrs. Sperrit pinned 
 Hiram up from inside so his tear did n t 
 show, n Lucy n he set side by side 
 n looked like no one was ever goin to 
 ever be married again. Polly n the dea 
 con set opposite n the minister n his wife 
 n Mr. Dill n Gran ma Mullins made up 
 the table. The rest stood around, n we 
 was all as lively as words can tell. The 
 cake was one o the handsomest as I ever 
 see, two pigeons peckin a bell on top n 
 Hiram n Lucy runnin around below in 
 pink. There was a dime inside n a 
 ring, an I got the dime, n they must 
 have forgot to put in the ring for no one 
 got it." 
 
 163
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 Susan paused and panted. 
 
 "-It was " commented Mrs. Lathrop, 
 thoughtfully. 
 
 " Nice that I got the dime ? yes, I 
 should say. There certainly was n t no one 
 there as needed it worse, n , although I d 
 never be one to call a dime a fortune, still 
 it is a dime, n no one can t deny it the 
 honor, no matter how they feel. But, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, what you d ought to have seen 
 was Hiram n Lucy ready to go off. I bet 
 no one knows they re brides I bet no 
 one knows what they are, you never saw 
 the like in all your worst dreams. Hiram 
 wore spectacles n carpet-slippers n that 
 old umbrella as Mr. Shores keeps at the 
 store to keep from bein stole, n Lucy 
 wore clothes she d found in trunks n 
 her hair in curl-papers, n her cold-cream 
 gloves. They certainly was a sight, n 
 Gran ma Mullins laughed as hard as any 
 one over them. Mr. Sperrit drove em 
 164
 
 LUCY DILUS WEDDING 
 
 to the train, n Hiram says he s goin to 
 spend two dollars a day right along till he 
 comes back ; so I guess Lucy 11 have 
 a good time for once in her life. N 
 Gran ma Mullins walked back with me n 
 not one word o Hiram did she speak. She 
 was all Polly n the deacon. She said it 
 wa n t in reason as Polly could imagine 
 him with hair, n she said she was thinkin 
 very seriously o givin her a piece o his 
 hair as she s got, for a weddin present. 
 She said Polly d never know what he was 
 like the night he give her that hair. She 
 said the moon was shinin n the frogs were 
 croakin , n she kind o choked ; she says 
 she can t smell a marsh to this day without 
 seein the deacon givin her that piece of 
 hair. I cheered her up all I could I 
 told her anyhow he could n t give Polly 
 a piece of his hair if he died for it. She 
 smiled a weak smile n went on up to 
 Mrs. Brown s. Mrs. Brown s asked her to 
 165
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 stay with her a day or two. Mrs. Brown 
 has her faults, but nobody can t deny as 
 she s got a good heart, in fact, some 
 times I think Mrs. Brown s good heart 
 is about the worst fault she s got. I ve 
 knowed it lead her to do very foolish 
 things time n again things as I thank 
 my star I d never think o doin not in 
 this world." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop shifted her elbows a 
 little ; Susan withdrew at once from the 
 fence. 
 
 " I must go in," she said, " to-morrow is 
 goin to be a more n full day. There s 
 Polly s weddin n then in the evenin 
 Mr. Weskin is comin up. You need n t 
 look surprised, Mrs. Lathrop, because I ve 
 thought the subject over up n down n 
 hind end foremost n there aint nothin 
 left for me to do. I can t sell nothin else 
 n I ve got to have money, so I m goin 
 to let go of one of those bonds as father 
 166
 
 LUCY DILL S WEDDING 
 
 left me. There ain t no way out of it ; I 
 told Mr. Weskin I d expect him at sharp 
 eight on sharp business, n he 11 come. 
 N I must go as a consequence. Good 
 night. " 
 
 167
 
 PART FOURTH 
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 POLLY ALLEN S wedding took place 
 the next day, and Mrs. Lathrop came 
 out on her front piazza about half 
 past five to wait for her share in the event. 
 
 The sight of Mrs. Brown going by with 
 her head bound up in a white cloth, ac 
 companied by Gran ma Mullins with both 
 hands similarly treated, was the first inkling 
 the stay-at-home had that strange doings had 
 been lately done. 
 
 Susan came next and Susan was a sight ! 
 Not only did her ears stand up with a 
 size and conspicuousness never inherited 
 from either her father or her mother, but 
 also her right eye was completely closed 
 and she walked lame. 
 168
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 " The Lord have mercy ! " cried Mrs. 
 Lathrop, when the full force of her friend s 
 affliction effected its complete entrance into 
 her brain, "Why, Susan, what " 
 
 "Mrs. Lathrop," said Miss Clegg, "all 
 I can say is I come out better than the 
 most of em, n if you could see Sam 
 Duruy or Mr. Kimball or the minister 
 you d know I spoke the truth. The dea 
 con n Polly is both in bed n can t see 
 how each other looks, n them as has a 
 eye is goin* to tend them as can t see at all, 
 an God help em all if young Dr. Brown 
 an the mud run dry ! " with which pious 
 ejaculation Susan painfully mounted the 
 steps and sat down with exceeding gentle 
 ness upon a chair. 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop stared at her in dumb 
 and wholly bewildered amazement. After 
 a while Miss Clegg continued. 
 
 " It was all the deacon s fault. Him n 
 Polly was so dead set on bein fashionable 
 169
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 n bein a contrast to Hiram an Lucy, n 
 I hope to-night as they lay there all puffed 
 up as they 11 reflect on their folly n think 
 a little on how the rest of us as did n t care 
 rhyme or reason for folly is got no choice 
 but to puff up, too. Mrs. Jilkins is awful 
 mad ; she says Mr. Jilkins wanted to wear 
 his straw hat anyhow, n she says she 
 always has hated his silk hat cause it 
 reminds her o* when she was young n 
 foolish enough to be willin to go n 
 marry into a family as was foolish enough 
 to marry into Deacon White. Mrs. Jil 
 kins is extra hot because she got one in 
 the neck, but my own idea is as Polly 
 Allen s weddin was the silliest doin s as I 
 ever see from the beginnin , n the end 
 wa n t no more than might o been ex 
 pected all things considered. 
 
 " When I got to the church, what do 
 you think was the first thing as I see, Mrs. 
 Lathrop ? Well, you d never guess till 
 170
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 kingdom come, so I may as well tell you. 
 It was Ed n Sam Duruy n Henry 
 Ward Beecher n Johnny standin there 
 waitin to show us to our pews like we 
 did n t know our own pews after sittin in 
 em for all our life-times ! I just shook 
 my head n walked to my pew, n there, 
 if it was n t looped shut with a daisy-chain ! 
 Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I wish you could 
 have been there to have felt for me, for I 
 may remark as a cyclone is a caterpillar 
 wove up in hisself beside my face when 
 I see myself daisy-chained out o my own 
 pew by Polly Allen. Ed was behind me 
 n he whispered c That s reserved for the 
 family. I give him one look n I will 
 state, Mrs. Lathrop, as he wilted. It 
 did n t take me long to break that daisy- 
 chain n sit down in that pew, n I can 
 assure you as no one asked me to get up 
 again. Mrs. Jilkins s cousins from Mead- 
 ville come n looked at me sittin there, 
 171
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 but I give them jus one look back n 
 they went V sat with Mrs. Macy them 
 selves. A good many other folks was as 
 surprised as me over where they had to sit, 
 but we soon had other surprises as took the 
 taste o the first clean out o our mouths. 
 
 "Just as Mrs. Davison begin to play 
 the organ, Ed n Johnny come down with 
 two clothes-lines wound round with clem 
 atis n tied us all in where we sat. Then 
 they went back n we all stayed still n 
 could n t but wonder what under the sun 
 was to be done to us next. But we did n t 
 have long to wait, n I will say as anythin 
 to beat Polly s ideas I never see no 
 nor no one else neither. 
 
 " Long down the aisle, two n two, n 
 hand in hand, like they thought they was 
 suthin pretty to look at, come Ed n 
 Johnny n Henry Ward Beecher n Sam 
 Duruy, n I vow n declare, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 I never was so nigh to laughin in church in 
 172
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 all my life. They knowed they was funny, 
 too, n their mouths n eyes was tight set 
 sober, but some one in the back just had to 
 giggle, n when we heard it we knew as 
 things as was n t much any other day would 
 use us up this day, sure. They stopped in 
 front n lined up, two on a side, n then, 
 for all the world like it was a machine-play, 
 the little door opened n out come the 
 minister n solemnly walked down to be 
 tween them. I must say we was all more 
 than a little disappointed at its only bein the 
 minister, n he must have felt our feelin s, 
 for he began to cough n clear up his throat 
 n his little desk all at once. Then Mrs. 
 Davison jerked out the loud stop n began to 
 play for all she was worth, n the door behind 
 banged n every one turned aroun to see. 
 
 " Well, Mrs. Lathrop, we saw, n I 
 
 will in truth remark as such a sawin* we 11 
 
 never probably get a chance to do again ! 
 
 Mrs. Sweet says they practised it over four 
 
 173
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 times at the church, so they can t deny as 
 they meant it all, n you might lay me 
 crossways n cut me into chipped beef n 
 still I would declare as I would n t have the 
 face to own to havin had any hand in 
 plannin any such weddin . 
 
 "First come Liza Em ly n Rachel 
 Rebecca hand in hand carryin daisies of 
 all things in the world to take to a weddin 
 n then come Brunhilde Susan, with a 
 daisy-chain around her neck n her belt 
 stuck full o daisies n you can believe 
 me or not, jus as you please, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 n still it won t help matters any n a 
 daisy stuck in every button down her back, 
 n daisies tangled up in her hair, n a 
 bunch o daisies under one arm. 
 
 " Well, we was nigh to overcome by 
 Brunhilde Susan, but we drawed some fresh 
 breath n kept on lookin , n next come 
 Polly n Mr. Allen. I will say for Mr. 
 Allen as he seemed to feel the ridiculousness 
 174
 
 MR. JILKINS" S HAT 
 
 of it all, for a redder man I never see, nor 
 one as looked more uncomfortable. He 
 was daisied, too had three in his button 
 hole ; but what took us all was the way 
 him n Polly walked. I bet no people 
 gettin married ever zigzagged like that 
 before, n Mrs. Sweet says they practised it 
 by countin two n then swingin out to one 
 side, n then countin two n swingin out 
 to the other she watched em out of her 
 attic window down through the broke blind 
 to the church. Well, all I can say is, that 
 to my order o thinkin countin n swingin 
 is a pretty frame o mind to get a husband in, 
 but so it was, n we was all starin our eyes 
 off to beat the band when the little door 
 opened n , to crown everythin else, out 
 come the deacon n Mr. Jilkins, each with 
 a daisy n a silk hat, n I will remark, 
 Mrs. Lathrop, as new-born kittens is blood- 
 red murderers compared to how innocent that 
 hat o Mr. Jilkins looked. Any one could 
 175
 
 see as it was n t new, but he was n t new either 
 as far as that goes, n that was what struck 
 me in particular about the whole thing 
 nothin n nobody was n t any different only 
 for Polly s foolishness n the daisies. 
 
 " Well, they sorted out n begun to get 
 married, n us all sittin lookin on n no 
 more guessin what was comin next than a 
 ant looks for a mornin paper. The minister 
 was gettin most through n the deacon was 
 gettin out the ring, n we was lookin to get 
 up n out pretty quick, when my heavens 
 alive, Mrs. Lathrop, I never will forget that 
 minute when Mr. Jilkins poor man, he s 
 sufferin enough for it, Lord knows ! when 
 Mr. Jilkins dropped his hat ! 
 
 "That very next second him n Ed n 
 Brunhilde Susan all hopped n yelled at 
 once, n the next thing we see was the 
 minister droppin his book n grabbin his 
 arm n the deacon tryin madly to do hisself 
 up in Polly s veil. We would a all been 
 176
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 plum petrified at such goings on any other 
 day, only by that time the last one of us 
 was feelin* to hop and grab n yell on his 
 own account. Gran ma Mullins was tryin 
 to slap herself with the seat cushion, n the 
 way the daisies flew as folks went over n 
 under that clematis rope was a caution. I 
 got out as quick as I " 
 
 " But what " interrupted Mrs. Lathrop, 
 her eyes fairly marble-like in their redundant 
 curiosity. 
 
 " It was wasps !" said Susan. " It was a 
 young wasps nest in Mr. Jilkins s hat. 
 Seems they carried their hats to church in 
 their hands cause Polly did n t want no red 
 rings around em, n so he never suspected 
 nothin till he dropped it. N oh, poor 
 little Brunhilde Susan in them short skirts 
 of hers she might as well have wore a bee 
 hive ! I will in confidence remark as I got 
 off easy, n you can look at me n figger on 
 what them as got it hard has got on them. 
 177
 
 Young Dr. Brown went right to work with 
 mud n Polly s veil V plastered em over 
 as fast as they could get into Mrs. Sweet s. 
 Mrs. Sweet was mighty obligin n turned 
 two flower-beds inside out n let every one 
 scoop with her kitchen spoons, besides 
 runnin aroun herself like she was a slave 
 gettin paid. They took the deacon n 
 Polly right to their own house. They can t 
 see one another anyhow, n they was most 
 all married anyway, so it did n t seem worth 
 while to wait till the minister gets the use of 
 his upper lip again." 
 
 "Why " interrogated Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Young Dr. Brown wanted to," said 
 Susan, " he wanted to fill my ears with mud, 
 n my eye, too, but I did n t feel to have 
 it done. You can t die o* wasps bills, n 
 you can o young Dr. Brown s leastways 
 when you ain t got no money to pay em, 
 like I ain t got just at present." 
 
 " It s " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 178
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 "Yes," said Susan, "it struck me that 
 way, too. This seems to be a very unlucky 
 town. Anything as comes seems to catch 
 us all in a bunch. The cow most lamed the 
 whole community n the automobile most 
 broke its back ; time 11 tell what 11 be the 
 result o these wasps, but there won t be no 
 church Sunday for one thing, I know. 
 
 " N it ain t the least o my woes, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, to think as I Ve got to sit n 
 smile on Mr. Weskin to-night from between 
 two such ears as is on me, for a rr\an is a 
 man, n it can t be denied as a woman as is 
 mainly ears ain t beguilin . Besides, I may 
 in confidence state to you, Mrs. Lathrop, as 
 the one as buzzed aroun my head wa n t 
 really no wasp a tall in comparison to the 
 one as got under my skirts." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop s eyes were full of sincere 
 condolence ; she did not even imagine a 
 smile as she gazed upon her afflicted friend. 
 
 " I must go," said the latter, rising with 
 179
 
 THE WOLF AT SUSAN S DOOR 
 
 a groan, " seems like I never will reach the 
 bottom o my troubles this year. I keep 
 thinkin there s nothin left n then I get a 
 wasp at each end at once. Well, I 11 come 
 over when Mr. Weskin goes if I have 
 strength." 
 
 Then she limped home. 
 
 It was about nine that night that she re 
 turned and pounded vigorously on her 
 friend s window-pane. Mrs. Lathrop woke 
 from her rocker-nap, went to the window 
 and opened it. Susan stood below and the 
 moon illuminated her smile and her ears 
 with its most silvery beams. 
 
 " He s just gone ! " she announced. 
 
 "Yes," said Mrs. Lathrop, rubbing her 
 eyes. 
 
 " He s gone ; I come over to tell you." 
 
 "What " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " I would n t care if my ears was as big as 
 a elephant s now." 
 
 1 80
 
 MR. JILKINS S HAT 
 
 "Why " asked Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Mrs. Lathrop, you know as I took 
 them bonds straight after father died n 
 locked em up n I ain t never unlocked 
 em since ? " 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop assented with a single rapt 
 nod. 
 
 "Well, when I explained to Mr. Weskin 
 as I d got to have money n how was the 
 best way to sell a bond, he just looked at 
 me, n what do you think he said what 
 do you think he said, Mrs. Lathrop ? " 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop hung far out over the 
 window-sill her gaze was the gaze of the 
 ever earnest and interested. 
 
 Susan stood below. Her face was aglow 
 with the joy of the affluent her very voice 
 might have been for once entitled as silvery. 
 
 "He said, Mrs. Lathrop, he said, f Miss 
 Clegg, why don t you go down to the bank 
 and cut your coupons ? 
 
 181
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 MISS CLEGG sat in Mrs. Lathrop s 
 rocking-chair, on Mrs. Lathrop s 
 kitchen stoop. Mrs. Lathrop sat 
 at her friend s feet, picking over currants. 
 If she picked over a great many she in 
 tended making jelly ; if only a few, the 
 result was to be a pie. 
 
 Susan had on her bonnet and mitts and 
 held her sun-umbrella firmly gripped be 
 tween her two hands and her two knees. 
 She looked weary and worn. 
 
 " It seems kind o funny that I bothered 
 to go, now that I come to think it over," 
 she said, gazing meditatively down upon her 
 friend and her friend s currant-picking ; " I 
 wa n t no relation of Rufus Timmans, n 
 although I don t deny as it s always a 
 185
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 pleasure to go to any one s funeral, still it s 
 a long ways to Meadville, n the comin 
 back was most awful, not to speak o havin 
 no dinner nowhere. It never makes no one 
 brisk but a horse to go without eatin , n I 
 must in consequence say t I was really very 
 sorry as Rufus was dead durin the last part 
 of the drive ; but o course he was a very 
 superior man, n as a consequence nobody 
 wanted to have it said in after life as they 
 wa n t to his buryin . So I went along with 
 the rest, n Heaven help me now, for I never 
 was more beat out in all my life. I was up 
 awful early this mornin to be sure o not 
 bein left, n I may in confidence remark as 
 I Ve thought many times to-day as if I had 
 been left I d of been a sight better off. 
 Long rides is very frisky for them as is 
 young n in love n likes to drive alternate, 
 but for a woman o my age, bein wedged 
 solid for sixteen miles at a time is most 
 tryin ; n comin back some o them smart 
 186
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Meadville boys had the fine idea o puttin 
 walnuts under the seats, n we rode most 
 of the way thinkin as they was our bones 
 till Mr. Dill jus got up n whopped his 
 cushion over to see if it d feel any different 
 the other side, n I may state as the results 
 I shall remember till I die." 
 
 "Who " began Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Everybody ! " said Susan ; " I never 
 knowed how superior Rufus was till I see 
 how folks turned out for his funeral. Every 
 minister n doctor in the whole vicinity was 
 there. The Lumbs drove way up from 
 Clightville, got overturned in the brook 
 by the old knife factory, but come along 
 just the same. Old Mr. n Mrs. Trum- 
 bull started day before yesterday as soon 
 as they knowed he was dead n ate with 
 relations all the way along n got them to 
 come too whenever they could. They was 
 seven buggies n two democrats when they 
 arrived at last. Mrs. Macy was waitin 
 187
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 for me in the square when I got there this 
 mornin n she told me as a city reporter 
 had come up to write a account of it n 
 as Dr. Cogswell was goin to be there. 
 They say as a live bishop wanted to make 
 the prayer but Rufus was so advanced in 
 his views it seemed better not to come out 
 too strong over his dead body. Mrs. 
 Macy said it all showed what a very su 
 perior man he was. She says as she feels 
 as maybe we did n t appreciate him enough. 
 She says maybe we was prejudiced. Lord 
 knows it s very hard not to be prejudiced 
 agin* the folks you live among, n I guess 
 any one as see Rufus mildly stumblin around 
 losin pocket-handkerchiefs d of had a hard 
 time regardin him as superior; but he was 
 superior, n Mrs. Macy says he always 
 was superior, for her aunt, old Mrs. Kitts, 
 of Meadville, remembers when he was born, 
 n Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Kitts always says 
 as he was superior right from the start. 
 1 88
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 She says as Mrs. Kitts says as Rufus s 
 father was really most a nuisance, talkin 
 about his superiority even the very first 
 week he was born. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. 
 Kitts says that his father said right off the 
 day he was born, as to his order o thinkin 
 Rufus was different from other babies right 
 then V there. He told Mrs. Kitts hisself 
 as he knowed folks was often fools over 
 their first babies, n he did n t calcalate to 
 act no such part, but in common honesty 
 he must state as Rufus was way above the 
 ordinary run, not because he was his baby, 
 but just because it was the plain truth. 
 Mrs. Kitts said she see Rufus herself when 
 he wa n t but three days old, n she told 
 Mrs. Macy as she must in truth confess 
 as he looked then jus about as he always 
 looked kind of too awful wise to have 
 any sense a tall. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. 
 Kitts says the superior thing about Rufus 
 them first days was the way as his mother 
 189
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 looked on him. Mrs. Kitts says Tabitha 
 Timmans was a mos remarkable woman, 
 straight up her back n all in n out in 
 front one o them women as is most all 
 teeth front teeth, n Mrs. Kitts said 
 whenever she looked at Rufus she was all 
 back teeth too. They had him in a clothes- 
 basket to keep off draughts, with a quilt 
 to pervent changes in the weather, n a 
 mosquito-nettin for fear a fly might thaw 
 out unexpectedly n get near him. Mrs. 
 Kitts said Tabitha Timmans was just about 
 wild over him ; she told Mrs. Kitts she 
 felt it gallopin up n down her spine as 
 how Rufus was surely goin to grow up to 
 be a inspector or mebbe the president; 
 she said any one could see he was in for 
 bein suthin high up n sort o quiet n 
 important. Tilda Ann, Sammy Timmans s 
 aunt, was there too. Mrs. Kitts says she 
 always liked Tilda Ann, what little she see 
 of her, even if she was nt patient. Mrs. 
 190
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Macy says Mrs. Kitts says Tilda Ann never 
 had no real fault, only her never bein able 
 to be patient. She says if Tilda Ann had 
 only had a little patience it d of been a great 
 deal better for her in the end, for if Tilda 
 Ann d had a little more patience she d never 
 have come scurryin home cross-lots that 
 night in the fog n gone hickety-pickety 
 over the well-curb, thinkin it was a stone 
 wall. Mrs. Kitts says she never can help 
 considerin what a shock Tilda Ann must 
 have got when she realized as she was over, 
 V so was everythin else." 
 
 " My " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 C But she was alive then," continued 
 Susan, " n she was there takin care o 
 Tabitha n watchin over Rufus. Mrs. 
 Kitts said it did n t take much to see as 
 Tilda Ann had n t no particular admiration 
 for Rufus ; she said right then n there, as 
 to her order o thinkin, Tabitha d ought to 
 teach him to quit suckin his thumb right 
 191
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 off, she said as it was a most terrible job 
 when they got bigger. Mrs. Kitts said 
 Tabitha said as not many babies was smart 
 enough to suck their thumbs at Rufus s 
 age, n then Tilda Ann said as not many 
 mothers was fool enough to let em. Mrs. 
 Kitts said Tilda Ann was never one to 
 mince words. She always said jus what 
 she thought, n that was a very bad thing 
 for her too, for afore she died she d said 
 jus what she thought to so many people 
 that they had great difficulty gettin a party 
 together to hunt for her that day as she 
 turned up missin on a count of bein down 
 in the well. 
 
 " While we was talkin Mrs. Macy 
 n me up Gran ma Mullins come n it 
 turned out from her as we was all three 
 expected to squeeze over to Meadville on 
 Mr. Jilkins s back seat together. Mrs. 
 Macy n me was far from pleased at that 
 prospeck, n Gran ma Mullins didn t look 
 192
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 over rejoiced herself. There is them as can 
 wedge, n them as can t, n we was all three 
 the kind as can t. I ain t as wide as Mrs. 
 Macy, nor yet the soft and squashy kind 
 like Gran ma Mullins, but I will say, Mrs. 
 Lathrop, as bein overflowed around for 
 sixteen miles, is to my order o thinkin 
 full as tryin as to be overflowin aroun 
 somebody else." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop, mildly. 
 
 " No, you would n t either," said Susan, 
 " I know you better n you know yourself, 
 Mrs. Lathrop, for I know you asleep n 
 awake, n you only know yourself awake ; 
 not as asleep J n* awake is n t very much the 
 same thing with you, Mrs. Lathrop ; but 
 asleep or awake, the main fact is as I 
 know most, so you can just keep still till 
 I get done with what I m sayin ." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop kept still. 
 
 " Well, after it was settled as, willy-nilly, 
 we d got to back-seat it to Meadville to- 
 13 193
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 gether, Gran ma Mullins begin about what 
 a very superior man Rufus was n what a 
 very superior boy he used to be. Mrs. 
 Macy did n t say nothin , cause it was easy 
 to see as she d really took it a good deal to 
 heart bein thirded for sixteen miles ; but 
 Gran ma Mullins went right on with when 
 she lived in Meadville n taught school 
 that winter she was seventeen. She said as 
 Rufus was in her middle class that winter 
 n mos superior. He was nine n the 
 oldest o nine, there bein two pairs o twins ; 
 she said it looked like Tabitha n Sammy had 
 took the Bible about replenishin the earth 
 right on to their own shoulders. Gran ma 
 Mullins said it was suthin to make any one 
 content to teach school forever, only to look 
 at em ; she said she should always think it 
 was that as made all the men in Meadville 
 so ready to go to the war n the women so 
 calm over their gettin killed ; she said no 
 one wanted to get married there, anyhow." 
 194
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 "But she " interposed Mrs. Lathrop, 
 quickly. 
 
 " Well, but she knew he had a bullet in 
 him n the Roman fever n a pension," 
 said Susan, " she knowed she was pretty safe 
 I would n t blame her under them cir 
 cumstances. But that s neither here nor 
 anywhere else, Mrs. Lathrop, n what with 
 your interruptin Lord knows when we will 
 get around to Rufus, for I keep forgettin* 
 he s dead n rememberin him alive, n no 
 one as remembers Rufus Timmans alive 
 could ever tell anything about him, n you 
 know that as well as I do. Gran ma Mul- 
 lins said herself to-day as he was a great 
 problem to her in school, n she used to 
 study him out of all comparison to the other 
 children. Every one admitted as he was 
 superior, n yet no one knowed jus why. 
 She says he really was superior in lots o 
 ways, n he whittled her a open-work ink 
 stand once for a Christmas as she s used for 
 195
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 toothpicks ever since, but she says the in 
 side o his ideas was surely most amazin . 
 She says she had him for two years, n all 
 she could say was as in all them two years 
 she was mostly struck dumb by him. She 
 says she used to go up n talk to Tabitha, 
 n Tilda Ann used to come down n talk 
 with her, but nothin ever seemed to come of 
 it. Tilda Ann declared up n down as he 
 was a fool through n through, n poor 
 Tabitha was awful nervous for fear he d in 
 vent somethin in bed some night as would 
 surely blow the house up. Seems he was 
 so ahead at ten years old that he wanted 
 to study to be a chemist, n so behind that 
 he spelt it f kemst, n him all of ten years 
 old. 
 
 " Gran ma Mullins said she used to be 
 clean beside herself; he was the show-boy 
 whenever the board came, n never got his 
 lessons between times. She says she always 
 knowed he d turn out some way y but Tilda 
 196
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Ann never had no opinion of him a tall. 
 Not as Tilda Ann s opinion mattered much, 
 cause she climbed into the well just about 
 then, n Rufus looked out a verse for her 
 tombstone in the Bible. It was a very good 
 motto for her too, it was, Well done, 
 thou good n faithful servant ; it made a 
 lot o talk, cause she really never was paid 
 nothin , but the sentiment about the well 
 was very pretty, n every one thought Tilda 
 Ann herself would have liked it if she d 
 stayed up n so had any say in the matter. 
 
 " Gran ma Mullins went on to say as she 
 got married soon after, so she run out of talk, 
 an Mrs. Macy n me was so tired listenin to 
 her anyway that we was all more n content 
 jus to stand aroun n wait till the Jilkinses 
 come drivin up. Then we all had to up n 
 in somehow, n I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as 
 wedgin Mrs. Macy an Gran ma Mullins was 
 certainly a sight to see. They was for put- 
 tin me in the middle, but I was flat for a 
 197
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 outside so s I could breathe, n in the end 
 Mrs. Jilkins set between me n Gran ma 
 Mullins, n Mrs. Macy set with Mr. Jilkins 
 what of her did n t hang over outside." 
 
 "What did " began Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " There was n t no other way to get em 
 both there that s why," said Susan; "there 
 was them as went on the cars, but that was n t 
 no great success, for they was so late that 
 Rufus had his lid all on afore they got there, 
 so they really had very little for their money. 
 N besides, if we d all gone on the cars, how 
 was we to get to the grave ? Rufus was well 
 this side o Meadville, n the cemetery s 
 some further this way, n whatever your 
 views may be I hope you don t mind my 
 sayin* right out as other folks views is 
 always more sensible. You can t be expected 
 to know much, Mrs. Lathrop, with your 
 few church privileges n your parlor too 
 small for the sewin society ; but if you was 
 less inclined to talk n more inclined to 
 198
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 listen to me I may in confidence remark as 
 you might learn about the funeral even 
 if you never learned nothin else in this 
 world." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop was again silent forthwith. 
 
 " Drivin over we all talked about Rufus. 
 We had really a very pleasant ride, for we 
 was all disposed to view him kindly goin 
 over. Mrs. Macy told over again what a 
 superior baby he was, n Gran ma Mullins 
 told over again what a superior boy he was, 
 n Mrs. Macy said as Mrs. Kitts said as 
 he was the talk o the town when he was 
 twenty-one. Gran ma Mullins did n t re 
 member much about him then, cause she 
 got married along about that time, n she s 
 always said that them who gets married 
 don t need nothin else to do for one while ; 
 but Mrs. Macy said Rufus was one o the 
 most superior young men as Mrs. Kitts ever 
 see. She said as old Mr. Tilley took him 
 right into the heart n soul o his drug-store 
 199
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 jus because his mother was his cousin, n 
 even then the general feelin was as he was 
 way above the business. Mrs. Macy said 
 as Mrs. Kitts said she d never forget goin in 
 one day for some salts n rinding Rufus all 
 alone. Why, she said she never had known 
 he was so head n shoulders above other peo 
 ple ! She says she s told the story a million 
 times n it s still fresh in her mind. She 
 said she asked for simple salts, n he begun 
 right off about a comet. She felt awful un 
 comfortable to have to say as she had n t 
 seen no comet, n then it turned out no 
 wonder, cause you could only see it from 
 China an Maddygasgar. She said she was 
 awful interested, n he was too, n in the 
 end he was so interested that he found he 
 had n t poured out o the salts bottle a tall. 
 It was only just a chance as he remembered 
 as it was salts she wanted, n she said he 
 was so nice about it, went under the counter 
 to find a cork to fit, n told her all about 
 200
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 how they get gumarabic while he was under 
 there, n she was so deep in the subjeck that 
 she never noticed, n he stuck a poison 
 label on, n they both laughed over that fit 
 to kill themselves. My goodness, Mrs. 
 Macy said, but Mrs. Kitts said as he was a 
 taking young man. In the end he wrote 
 the name in Latin across the skull n cross- 
 bones, n she only had to always remember 
 as c Sally Simplex meant f simple salts 
 from then on. 
 
 " She went on to say as the biggest thing 
 Rufus ever done long about then was to 
 down their minister in a open conversation 
 one night callin at Deacon Grummers. 
 She told all about it, n seems as there was 
 some talk afterwards about gettin up a 
 subscription to send him to college, only 
 it never come to nothin cause no one 
 wanted to subscribe. Seems the minister 
 was Luther Law, him as moved to Chicago 
 afterwards n got burnt up or out I for- 
 201
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 get which in the fire. Seems he was to 
 Deacon Grummel s one night, n him n 
 Rufus got to discussin what we all come 
 from. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Grummel 
 said she never hear the like. She n her 
 husband was jus all of a tremble. She 
 said afterwards that if it d of been any 
 other minister than Luther Law, Rufus 
 would have had him sure. She said it was 
 just like a lecture hall to hear, upon her 
 honor. The minister begun by startin 
 out for our all comin from Adam n Eve, 
 but Rufus come out flat for our bein from 
 monkeys. Well, Mrs. Grummel said she 
 n her husband could n t do no more than 
 feel their hearts beat at that. Rufus jus 
 argued n kep on arguin till he made 
 the minister admit as there was n t nothin 9 
 absolute agin monkeys, n then if that 
 young man did n t go him one better n 
 say as he believed in tadpoles himself. 
 Luther Law was flat agin tadpoles, but 
 202
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Rufus never let up till he got him to admit 
 that if the Lord could make a man out of 
 a monkey He could make him out of a 
 tadpole, too. N then, when he d got him 
 so far, what do you think, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 what do you think! Mrs. Macy said 
 as Mrs. Kitts said as Mrs. Grummel said 
 if that young man did n t look right square 
 into Luther s face n say as to his order 
 o thinkin it wasn t what we d come from 
 as mattered so much as what we d develop 
 into next. That s what I want to know, 
 he said to Luther Law, runnin his hand 
 into himself in that way as was so fashion 
 able along bout then, * that s what / want 
 to know, n I can t find no one as has a 
 addykit answer for me. 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Macy said Mrs. Kitts said 
 as up to her deathbed day Mrs. Grummel 
 always said as that was the minute o her 
 life. She said facin cannon would n t be 
 nothin to the way she n the deacon felt 
 203
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 over seein the minister asked a thing like 
 that right on top o their own tea! But, 
 lor, you never could stick Luther Law. A 
 minister wouldn t be able to be able to be 
 a minister if little things like questions you 
 can t answer could run him aground. He 
 jus waited a minute n then he looked slow 
 n sad, an lifted up his hand so, n pointed 
 so, an* said, Young man, how can you ask 
 such a question, with the starry heaven right 
 on top of your head? 
 
 "Well! Mrs. Grummel said it was like a 
 flash o thunder splittin clean through the air. 
 She said her husband never quit saying to his 
 dying day as that was the smartest thing as 
 Luther Law ever said, considerin* how little 
 time he had to think, n it was the only 
 thing in the wide world as he could of said, 
 too. She said she told that story all over 
 town, n no one could ever decide which was 
 the smartest, Rufus or Luther Law; cause 
 even if Luther Law did find a way out, it 
 204
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 was such a astonishin thing as he did that 
 Rufus got a sight o credit out of comin as 
 nigh to stickin him as he did. A good 
 many people begun to say then as he was 
 too superior for a small town; old Dr. 
 Lumb said as to his order o thinkin he d 
 ought to move near to some place where 
 he d have professors to talk to. 
 
 " Mrs. Macy said Mrs. Kitts give her "to 
 understand, though, as there was a nother 
 side to Rufus even then, V it begun to crop 
 out mighty young, too. Mrs. Kitts said 
 she would n t mention it only in confidence, 
 but Mr. Tilley, of the drug-store where 
 Rufus was, told her as he d be only too 
 glad to see Rufus move anywhere, whether 
 it had professors to talk to or not. Mr. 
 Tilley said his ideas was far too advanced for 
 a small town. Mr. Tilley said he could n t 
 find the easiest things after Rufus had got 
 em labelled in Latin, n he said it was n t 
 practical to classify no drug-store without a 
 205
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 rollin step-ladder anyhow. Then there came 
 up the Kelly cat, n on account o* the 
 Kellys havin money the Kelly cat come 
 nigh to endin Rufus. I never hear about 
 the Kelly cat afore, but seems as the Kelly 
 cat was ailin n the Kellys took it to Rufus 
 for catnip, n Rufus got to discoursin with 
 Bessy on how if you re born under Venus 
 with Mars gettin up you re bound to marry 
 whoever you love, n he clean forgot what 
 ailed the cat n tried to give her ipecac as 
 if she was croupy instead o bein droopy. 
 The cat knowed ipecac even if Rufus did n t, 
 n she bounced out from between him n 
 Bessy n bounced into the winder n busted 
 the big bottle full o green. Rufus said it 
 was a fit, n he got a hair-oil bottle as gives 
 you a nickel nose of your own for nothin , 
 n he put the nose on the ipecac n got 
 the whole down the cat so far that she 
 come nigh to swallowin the nose. Mrs. 
 Macy said Mrs. Kelly never felt to forgive 
 206
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Rufus, n it set her deader n ever agin* 
 him, but, lor, Bessy was too head over heels 
 in love to care about cats or ipecac. She 
 was as sure Rufus was superior as any one 
 could be, n every one knowed what was 
 up as well as she n Rufus did. Mrs. Macy 
 said as every one said as a superior young 
 man must marry money or he could n t 
 in reason stay superior long, n Rufus was 
 dead set on stayin superior, so they was 
 married the next spring n moved to the 
 city, n they did n t come back till it was 
 plain as Mr. Kelly d have to support em 
 or let Bessy starve on Rufus s superiority." 
 
 Susan paused abruptly and sighed. Mrs. 
 Lathrop said never a word. Presently the 
 discourse flowed on again. 
 
 " Well, there was n t really no wish to 
 say nothin but good of Rufus, but it is a 
 long drive to Meadville an we had to talk, 
 n you know as well as I do, Mrs. Lathrop, 
 as it s nigh to impossible to talk long of 
 207
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 people if you re only to say good of em. 
 Rufus was there n dead to talk about, n 
 while we naturally wished him well, still 
 we was pretty tired before we got through 
 drivin sixteen miles to bury him. Gran ma 
 Mullins said finally as he was certainly a 
 very superior man, but she knowed from her 
 niece Hannah as he was trying to live with. 
 She said Hannah lived with em for five 
 years n looked after the children, n cheered 
 Bessy up when she was nigh to wore out 
 with bein married to Rufus. Hannah never 
 had no use for Rufus Timmans herself, 
 she was awful fond o Bessy n the boys, 
 but she drawed the line at Rufus, n 
 Gran ma Mullins says she never minced 
 matters neither. Gran ma Mullins says as 
 Hannah used to walk right in on Rufus 
 n let fly whenever she felt as the salvation 
 of her soul called on her to speak or bu st. 
 She said Hannah said what she could n t 
 stand was the way the general public seemed 
 208
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 to coincide with Rufus s opinion of himself. 
 Hannah used to say as the general run o* 
 folks did n t have to live with Rufus Tim- 
 mans an she did, n she furthermore used 
 to say if the general run o folks had had 
 to live with Rufus Timmans they would n t 
 o viewed him from no fancy standpoint no 
 more n she did herself. Hannah used to 
 say as day in n day out was a terrible lettin 
 in o light on dark spots, n for her part she 
 had n t got no use for a man as had the 
 whole o the inside o the earth by heart 
 n was n t one earthly bit o good on the 
 outside of it. Hannah said as all she could 
 say was as she wisht as some o them as 
 admired his superior understandin could 
 just be in her place one while. Gran ma 
 Mullins said as there was one time as 
 Hannah never got over, n that was the 
 cistern, she said as Hannah always got 
 mad whenever she told it, n she told 
 it so often, her face stayed always red in 
 X 4 209
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 the end, jus from tellin that story so 
 often. 
 
 " Seems as Rufus thought mebbe there 
 was a dead rat in the cistern, so he had the 
 cistern cleaned out, V the drouth came on, 
 n Monday come on top o the drouth, n 
 Hannah pumped her arms most off afore 
 she realized as there wa n t no water a ///, n 
 then she was that mad as she walked right 
 in on Rufus n give it to him. 
 
 " Gran ma Mullins said Hannah said it 
 made her mad only to look at him ; he was 
 sittin in the little shady parlor, jus* softly 
 rockin back n forth, readin a book as told 
 why the Dead Sea s dead. Well, Hannah 
 said no words could tell how much madder 
 she got when she got right in front o him 
 to see a able-bodied man rockin n readin 
 Dead Seas on top of a empty cistern. 
 Hannah was never one to keep her own 
 counsel in the face of her own feelin s, you 
 know, n she jus went right up in front of 
 210
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Rufus V said as calm as she could, c Mr. 
 Timmans, where s the water for the wash 
 to come from ? Gran ma Mullins said 
 Hannah always said as she tried to stay 
 calm but she give out young, n the sight o 
 Rufus liftin his superior eyes jus did for 
 her. She put her two hands on her two 
 hips, an let out right then n* there, c Mr. 
 Timmans, she says, f you was so sure t 
 there was a rat drowned in the cistern, she 
 says, that nothin mus do but you mus 
 clean it out, she says ; * n there wa n t no 
 rat, she says, f n it ain t rained since, she 
 says, c n how re we to wash ? she says, 
 n then she waited to see what he would say, 
 n she said a lamb would o begun to hop 
 about n yowl with mad to see how kind of 
 calm n dazed like n altogether peaceful n 
 happy he looked up at her. N he says, 
 quite placid n contented, Can t you get 
 some water out o* the pond ? he says. 
 f Out o the pond ! says Hannah, high- 
 211
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 keyed like, Gran ma Mullins says Han 
 nah always went high-keyed easy, { out o 
 that muddy, swampy, slimy, marshy, cow- 
 churned pond, says Hannah, f out o that 
 nasty, dirty, filthy, green pond, says Han 
 nah, gettin high-keyeder n high-keyeder. 
 I can get it clean for you, says Rufus, a- 
 openin the Dead Sea n runnin his eyes 
 aroun for his place, jus say when you 
 want it, he says. Well, Gran ma Mullins 
 said Hannah always said as she never 
 knowed what kept her off him at that min 
 ute, for she was that mad she felt like the 
 righteous judgment o the Lord was in the 
 ends of her very finger-nails. f Now y she 
 says, c right now, she says ; t that s when I 
 want it, she says. Rufus looked up n see 
 she was in earnest, n she says the way he 
 sighed like he was a martyr as led the band 
 was enough to have ended her patience once 
 n for all time if it had n t been for the wash, 
 n then he carefully turned a leaf down in 
 212
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 the Dead Sea n got out o the rocker n 
 went V got Nathan Lumb n they went off 
 together. 
 
 " Well, Gran ma Mullins said Hannah 
 begun to wait, n Hannah waited until if 
 Hannah had waited any longer she d have 
 gone off like a rocket, she was that mad 
 again. Gran ma Mullins said Hannah al 
 ways got so red she got purple if she only 
 was rememberin it after. N in the end 
 she could n t stand it no longer n she set 
 off for the pond herself. She always said as 
 she just hoped n prayed as they was both 
 on em drowned all the way there, but the 
 Lord in his mercy was n t seein fit to deal 
 out no such luck, n she found the pond 
 there an Rufus n Nathan gone. 
 
 " N what do you suppose she see, Mrs. 
 Lathrop ; what do you suppose she see ? 
 You never heard the like, n the whole 
 wagon of us could n t but feel as it was 
 maybe just as well as we was on our way to 
 213
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Rufus s funeral, for we never could have 
 faced him in real life after hearin such a tale. 
 
 " Seems there was the pond V there was 
 the edge o the pond, n there was two 
 barrels as Rufus n Nathan had set close to 
 the edge. One o the barrels was empty n 
 one was full o dirty swamp-water, n Rufus s 
 superior mind had hung a old piece o car 
 pet from one barrel over into the other so it 
 could suck up dirty water n drip off clean, 
 n mebbe if the sun did n t shine too hard 
 Hannah d have a pail o clean water come 
 Hallowe en. N the wash waitin ! 
 
 " Mr. Jilkins said as that was jus what 
 might o been expected o Rufus. He d 
 like to observe the theery n he would n t 
 care about the wash. Gran ma Mullins 
 said it did the business for Hannah, though. 
 She never could make up her mind to take 
 Dr. Lumb before on a count o his swearin 
 so, but she made up her mind as anythin 
 as d rid her o Rufus n give her a chance 
 214
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 to boss Nathan d fill her bill after that, n 
 she went up that very night n told Dr. 
 Lumb, as if he still wanted her, she was 
 prepared to be took. He wanted her n 
 he took her, n she was to the funeral to 
 day with Nathan n his two boys, all of 
 em brushed so slick you could see with 
 half a eye as Hannah had got a deal o 
 satisfaction out o them all these years 
 since. 
 
 " She come over to sit beside Gran ma 
 Mullins n talked a little while. She said 
 Bessy Timmans was bearin Rufus s loss mos 
 bravely, n her daughter Betty was come 
 home n brought the baby to comfort her. 
 Hannah said as Betty was a very sweet 
 young woman. She said she never forgot 
 the day when she was only four years old, 
 n asked right out why the family had to 
 be so proud o Rufus. Hannah said her 
 mother shut her up quick, but it was plain 
 to be seen as that child had eyes for them 
 215
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 as could hear, V was pretty quick at sizin* 
 up Rufus. 
 
 " It was a awful big funeral. Folks was 
 there from all over. I drove out to the 
 graveyard with old Dr. Lumb V Dr. 
 Cogswell from the city. The other one was 
 Susy Carter, n she s so deaf all I could do 
 was to listen to the front seat. Dr. Cogs 
 well said as it was a great pity that a 
 superior man like Rufus Timmans should 
 have had to live his life out on highways 
 n edges by circumstances probably beyond 
 his control. Dr. Lumb said yes, a small 
 community like Meadville couldn t never 
 offer nothin like a addykit scope to a brain 
 like Rufus s. He said he was surprised as 
 Rufus s brain had managed to scratch along 
 as well as it had under the circumstances. 
 He said, with the exception of himself 
 Rufus had never had no one to really talk 
 to. He said, to be frank, he would in con 
 fidence remark to Dr. Cogswell as Bessy 
 216
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 Timmans was a very inferior person an no 
 ways up to Rufus. He said as he should n t 
 be personally surprised to know as her 
 feelin s towards Rufus partook more of a 
 element of impatience than of admiration. 
 He said as one night when he was there 
 he was most dumbfounded to see how little 
 attention she paid with Rufus discoursin* 
 on trilobites n their relations to the cursory 
 strata. Dr. Cogswell sighed n said he was 
 afraid he d have to admit as he feared that 
 was mebbe only too likely to be true. He 
 said he felt a sadness because every trilobite 
 as was related by Rufus was of profound value 
 to any scientific student. He said Rufus 
 was one at whose feet them as is learned 
 could easy sit and learn some more. He 
 said Rufus ought to o gotten out in the world 
 thirty years ago, but then he sighed again, 
 n said probably circumstances as no one 
 knowed nothing of probably chained him here. 
 It was easy to see as Dr. Lumb had a awful 
 217
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 high opinion o Rufus, but that d be only 
 natural, him bein* married to Hannah as was 
 so dead set agin him, n he shook his head 
 then n said as he believed as Dr. Cogswell 
 had guessed pretty nigh to the truth. He 
 said he knowed as Bessy was born in Mead- 
 ville, n as her property was there n he said 
 his own opinion was that with the short 
 sightedness common to her sex she had 
 chained the eagle so as she might stay 
 among her little circle o petty friendships, 
 n so the noble bird had worn his soul 
 away in captivity, so to speak. 
 
 " Dr. Cogswell said Ah ! n then they 
 both shook their heads together n sighed 
 together. 
 
 " Hannah did n t go out to the grave. 
 She stayed with Bessy. She took me into 
 the pantry afore we left n said as the spirit 
 o relief hoverin in the house was beyond all 
 belief. She said Betty was goin to take 
 her mother home with her when she went. 
 218
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 She said Betty said as she could come back 
 to Meadville whenever she liked, but she 
 said as Bessy said she d never want to come 
 back. Hannah says Bessy told her as 
 all she asked was to live out her days 
 some place where she d never have to 
 hear again what a very superior man Rufus 
 was. 
 
 " I stood aroun an talked with a lot 
 more folks. The general feelin was as it 
 was a great honor to be buryin Rufus, but 
 nobody knowed just why. I thought about 
 it comin home a-jouncin* along over them 
 walnuts. (My, but they was hard!) The 
 truth seems to be as there s some folks born 
 to be superior n to know as they re su 
 perior, n other folks born to admire em, 
 n neither set sees jus why." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Well, as long as you say so I may as 
 well admit as I was thinkin that very thing 
 myself," said Susan ; " but far be it from me 
 219
 
 A VERY SUPERIOR MAN 
 
 to have said such a thing myself of myself, 
 Mrs. Lathrop but as long as you say it I 
 can t but remark as no one in their senses 
 could deny its bein true o me." 
 
 "I " said Mrs. Lathrop. 
 
 " Oh, that s your misfortune," said Miss 
 Clegg, graciously ; " there ain t no need 
 of apologizin to a old friend like me. N 
 anyway, Mrs. Lathrop, I guess nobody 
 could n t tell me nothin about your infe 
 riorities not after livin next to you all 
 the years as I have ; but you know me, n 
 you know as nothin ever changes my feelin s 
 towards a friend not even towards such 
 a friend as you, Mrs. Lathrop." 
 
 Mrs. Lathrop was silent. 
 
 220
 
 A New Story by the Creator of "Susan Clegg" 
 
 THE REJUVENATION 
 OF AUNT MARY 
 
 By ANNE WARNER 
 
 Author of " Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropJ 
 
 "A Woman s Will ," etc. 
 Illustrated. 12mo. Cloth. $1.50 
 
 Always amusing and ends in a burst of sunshine. Phil 
 adelphia Ledger. 
 
 Impossible to read without laughing. A sparkling, 
 hilarious tale. Chicago Record-Herald. 
 
 The love story is as wholesome and satisfactory as the 
 fun. In its class this book must be accorded the first 
 place. Baltimore Sun. 
 
 The humor is simply delicious. Albany Times-Union. 
 
 Every one that remembers Susan Clegg will wish also to 
 make the acquaintance of Aunt Mary. Her "imperious 
 will and impervious eardrums " furnish matter for uproar 
 ious merriment. ... A book to drive away the blues 
 and make one well content with the worst weather. 
 Pittsburg Gazette. 
 
 Cheerful, crisp, and bright. The comedy is sweetened 
 by a satisfying love tale. Boston Herald. 
 
 LITTLE, BROWN, & CO., PUBLISHERS 
 254 WASHINGTON STREET, BOSTOK
 
 A Masterpiece of Native Humor 
 
 SUSAN CLEGG AND HER 
 FRIEND MRS. LATHROP 
 
 By ANNE WARNER 
 Author of " A Woman s Will," etc. 
 
 With Frontispiece. 227 pages. 12mo. $1.00. 
 
 IT is seldom a book so full of delightful humor comes 
 before the reader. Anne Warner takes her place in the 
 circle of American woman humorists, who have achieved 
 distinction so rapidly within recent years. Brooklyn Eagle. 
 
 Nothing better in the new homely philosophy style of 
 fiction has been written. San Francisco Bulletin. 
 
 Anne Warner has given us the rare delight of a book 
 that is extremely funny. Hearty laughter is in store for 
 every reader. Philadelphia Public Ledger. 
 
 Susan is a positive contribution to the American char 
 acters in fiction. Brooklyn Times. 
 
 Susan Clegg is a living creature, quite as amusing and 
 even more plausible than Mrs. Wiggs. Susan s human 
 weaknesses are endearing, and we find ourselves in sym 
 pathy with her. New York Evening Post. 
 
 No more original or quaint person than she has ever 
 lived in fiction. Newark Advertiser. 
 
 LITTLE, BROWN, & CO., PUBLISHED, BOSTON 
 At all Booksellers
 
 An International Love Comedy 
 
 A WOMAN S WILL 
 
 By ANNE WARNER 
 Author of " Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop." 
 
 IT is a relief to take up a volume so absolutely free from 
 stressfulness. The love-making is passionate, the 
 humor of much of the conversation is thoroughly delightful. 
 The book is as refreshing a bit of fiction as one often finds ; 
 there is not a dull page in it. Providence Journal. 
 
 It is bright, charming, and intense as it describes the 
 wooing of a young American widow on the European 
 Continent by a German musical genius. San Francisco 
 Chronicle. 
 
 A deliciously funny book. Chicago Tribune. 
 
 There is a laugh on nearly every page. New York Times. 
 
 Most decidedly an unusual story. The dialogue is nothing 
 if not original, and the characters are very unique. There 
 is something striking on every page of the book. Newark 
 Advertiser. 
 
 A more vivacious light novel could not be found. Chicago 
 Record- Herald. 
 
 Illustrated by I. H. Caliga. 360 pages. 12mo. 
 Decorated cloth, $1.50. 
 
 LITTLE, BROWN, fcf CO., PUBLISHERS, BOSTON 
 At all Booksellers
 
 A Vigorous Tale of a Nevada Mining Camp 
 
 THE SAGE BRUSH 
 PARSON 
 
 By A. B. WARD 
 
 390 pages. 12rao. Decorated Cloth. $1.50 
 
 Full of vigorous and vivid pictures. An exceptionally 
 readable and effective story. There is more strong and 
 good dramatic substance to it than to any story that we 
 have read in a long while. New York Sun. 
 
 The story is powerfully told, with strong, vigorous 
 touches filled with the atmosphere of the wild, free West, 
 and so alive and vital that it carries conviction. Phila 
 delphia Telegraph. 
 
 Characteristic Western humor and yet more character 
 istic Western pathos are plentiful in the tale. The at 
 mosphere is true to the life and the hero is a sincere 
 portrayal. Chicago Tribune. 
 
 A good, breezy story of Western life. A. B. Ward shows 
 rare familiarity with the prairie regions of Nevada and 
 the people who inhabit them. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. 
 
 Whoever wants a " rattling " good story of mining life, 
 color, and customs, faithful to fact and strenuous action, 
 with strong and forceful character sketching, with a close 
 and appreciative understanding of the phases of life in 
 the gulches twenty-five years ago, will find all these. 
 Brooklyn Standard-Union. 
 
 LITTLE, BROWN, & CO., PUBLISHERS 
 254 WASHINGTON STREET, BOSTON
 
 University of California 
 
 SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 405 Hilgard Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90024-1388 
 
 Return this material to the library 
 
 from which it was borrowed.
 
 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 A 000 676 342 9