STACK 
 
 ANNEX 
 
 5 
 
 060 
 
 145
 
 9SRTRAHD SMITHS 
 BOOK 8TORB 
 
 149 PACVflf 
 
 r.ft.Vf, Pr A( H (A I
 
 '-/-
 
 BY 
 
 CORYDON 
 
 BOSTON 
 D. LOTHROP AND COMPANY 
 
 32 FRANKLIN STREET
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1882. 
 D. LOTHROP & COMPANY.
 
 THIS LITTLE VOLUME 
 
 IS DEDICATED TO MY COUSIN 
 
 JAMES T. BURDETT, THE HUMORIST, 
 
 IN THE HOPK THAT ITS SUCCESS MAY EQUAL HIS MERITS, WHICH ARE 
 ALREADY TOO WELL KNOWN TO THE PUBLIC 
 
 TO MAKE LAUDATION AT MY HANDS 
 
 EITHER NECESSARY OR ACCEPTABLE. 
 
 2061820
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 I. HATCHING THE EGG 7 
 
 II. A FORETASTE 22 
 
 III. "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING" 38 
 
 IV. " HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL " 55 
 
 V. THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS 74 
 
 VI. " THERE'S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE " 90 
 
 VII. A NEW EXPERIENCE 105 
 
 VIII. PLOTS AND COUNTERPLOTS 120 
 
 IX. POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE 132 
 
 X. THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL 144 
 
 XL AN UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST 162 
 
 XII. UP A TREE -. 175 
 
 XIII. THE CURTAIN FALLS 189
 
 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. 
 
 NOVEL, by George ! " 
 "And so feasible." 
 
 "You couldn't do better, mum." 
 
 Such were the favorable encomiums which 
 greeted the Plan when it first peeped timidly 
 out of the shell, with nothing on but its pin- 
 feathers. 
 
 It originated with Mrs. Brooks, was immedi- 
 ately stamped with the full approval of your hum- 
 ble chronicler, and received the cordial support 
 and sympathy of our faithful retainer and general 
 factotum, Mary Cecilia Mullaney. The Brooks 
 family, in solemn convention assembled, had re- 
 solved itself into a committee of ways and means, 
 and was groping desperately and hopelessly into
 
 8 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 labyrinths of confusion and uncertainty when the 
 Plan was conceived and submitted. 
 
 " Where was Moses when the light went out ? " 
 In the dark. So were we at that moment. Is it 
 any wonder, then, that we hailed with rapture any 
 pathway, however rough, which promised an es- 
 cape from our difficulties ? 
 
 It might turn out to be a straw the veriest 
 ignis-fatuus that time and tide alone could de- 
 termine but to our hungering eyes it presented 
 all the appearance of a comfortable raft, furnished 
 with all the modern improvements, and fully capa- 
 ble of bearing our weight, and we scrambled upon 
 it as eagerly as a sailor deserting a sinking ship. 
 
 We were seated around the dining-room table at 
 the time, in our third-story flat to increase the 
 tone, we always called it "apartment" and the 
 momentous question under discussion was, how to 
 live and breathe and have a being during the 
 approaching summer, and at the same time extract 
 the superlative of enjoyment and comfort from the 
 minimum of expense. How to accomplish this 
 last was a poser. For it is easier for a rich man 
 to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a 
 poor one to summer reasonably in the neighbor-
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. 9 
 
 hood of Gotham and not wish he could dispose 
 of his stomach for a season. 
 
 The truth of this assertion Mrs. Brooks and I 
 can testify to, for we belong, alas ! to that noble, 
 but impecunious army of young married couples 
 who ought to have, but through the irony of Fate 
 haven't money ! 
 
 The longer I live upon this under-globe, the more 
 convinced I become that the way the goods of this 
 world are parcelled out is an egregious mistake ; 
 that to talk about the sun shining with impartiality 
 upon the just and the unjust alike, is very pretty 
 by way of metaphor, but so far as practice is con- 
 cerned, the most arrant nonsense. Though by 
 no means, I hope, a communist, I freely confess 
 there are moments in my life chiefly, of course, 
 when the shoe pinches my own foot when a 
 furious sense of the injustice of things existent 
 grows so strong within me that I almost look upon 
 the barriers, if not a justifiable, at least a natural 
 resort of the oppressed. 
 
 It certainly seems as though money deliberately, 
 and with few exceptions, sought the channels where 
 it would be productive of least good ; under-ground 
 passages, beyond the reach of the thirsty.
 
 IO POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 * 
 
 Point me out a mean, miserable curmudgeon, 
 incapable either of enjoying life himself or of im- 
 parting pleasure to others, and, as a rule, that man 
 will be found incased up to his ears in wealth. 
 
 But pshaw ! these complaints of the impecunious 
 and oppressed are as old as the world's history, 
 and I feel a due sense of my folly in adding to the 
 reams and reams of paper which have already been 
 wasted over the same absorbing subject, and cui 
 bono ? As I said then, we are not weary and 
 heavy laden carrying our share of the world's 
 wealth ; and if the burdens laid upon us sometimes 
 seem greater than we can bear, bags of gold are 
 never among the number ; and the meanest word 
 in Webster economy runs forever in our ears, like 
 a familiar air from Pinafore which has long lost 
 the charm of novelty. 
 
 At the dining-room conference above referred 
 to, this condition of shabby gentility was ever 
 present before us, like the skeleton at the feast, 
 and we felt constrained to say, " Get thou behind 
 me, Satan," to the allurements of fashionable hotels 
 at five dollars per diem, as delightful, but too ex- 
 pensive for our means. 
 
 At the time this story opens, we had already
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. II 
 
 gone through the gamut of cheap and nasty varie- 
 ties of summering in the country, from the broken- 
 down hotel, formerly respectable, but now, like 
 ourselves, shabby genteel, down to the farm-house 
 romantic in theory, and the dismal reverse in 
 actuality, where the culinary department is supplied 
 only with such articles of diet as cannot be sold, 
 and the pigs reject. 
 
 Such was the encouraging outlook when Mrs. B., 
 who, like a skillful general, had kept her reserve 
 force well in hand for an emergency, suddenly 
 launched forth as follows : 
 
 "Supposing," she began, "instead of burying 
 ourselves in a horrid boarding-house, where gossip- 
 ing tabbies, and other horrid wretches in the garb 
 of humanity, delight to congregate ; or subjecting 
 ourselves to the manifold horrors of incarceration 
 in a farm-house where the cravings of appetite are 
 chilled by the select society of a farmer and his 
 sons in their shirt sleeves, reeking of stables and 
 perspiration, where cows abound, but no milk, hens, 
 but no eggs supposing, I repeat, instead of rush- 
 ing headlong into ills with which we are already 
 so unpleasantly intimate, we embrace the ills we 
 know not of ; rent a nice little furnished house for
 
 12 POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 the summer, persuade our friends to live with us 
 on the cooperative plan of sharing expenses, save 
 money, and be happy." 
 
 This was the happy outburst of eloquence whereby 
 Mrs. B. immortalized herself, and awakened the 
 enthusiasm recorded in the opening lines of this 
 chapter. Eureka ! We were saved ! We were 
 delivered out of the hands of the Philistines ! 
 
 We could snap our fingers, metaphorically speak- 
 ing, at all boarding-house keepers, both of the male 
 and female persuasion, who went about through 
 the land like ravening wolves, seeking whom they 
 might devour, their mouths full of promises, their 
 hearts full of lies. 
 
 This solution of all our difficulties seemed so 
 entirely satisfactory and to the point as to render 
 further seeking unnecessary and vain ; so we gave 
 ourselves up to rejoicing over the product of Mrs. 
 B.'s inventive mind. The more we discussed the 
 Plan, the more feasible and advantageous it ap- 
 peared, until we fell to wondering that it had never 
 occurred to us before, and looked back upon the 
 past four summers of our married life as a signal 
 failure. 
 
 It was not until the clock warned us that mid-
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. 13 
 
 night was upon us, that we retired to rest ; and 
 then it was only to dream of palatial country seats, 
 sumptuous fare, and no outlay. 
 
 If our plan was pleasing over night, it certainly 
 lost nothing by being slept upon, and the following 
 morning we were like children who had suddenly 
 come into the possession of a much-longed-for toy ; 
 our new scheme had taken such strong hold on us 
 that nothing else seemed worthy of a moment's 
 consideration. I firmly believe that the news of 
 the South having again seceded would have made 
 but little impression upon us that morning ; we 
 would have received it with slight comment, and 
 resumed the discussion of summer cooperation. 
 Even Frederick William, heir to our fondest hopes, 
 and very little just now of a more substantial 
 character &tat two years and six months, caught 
 up the threads of our enthusiasm as they fell, and 
 raced around the Flat like one possessed, with the 
 cry, " Me want to go down the hill in the country, 
 in the country down the hill ; me want a napple 
 too." 
 
 Mrs. B. appeared at breakfast, armed with paper 
 and pencil, and figured out probable expenses over 
 beefsteak and coffee, while I held a mental full-
 
 14 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 dress parade of our friends, and picked out such as 
 I deemed worthy of a share in our Eden of the 
 Blest. 
 
 We fought a prolonged and desperate battle for 
 the possession of the triple sheet of the Herald, 
 finally compromising on a share and share alike 
 basis, and with a contemptuous sniff at the " sum- 
 mer board " column, which had heretofore been 
 pregnant with interest in our eyes, we turned our 
 attention to the literature of " furnished houses to 
 rent for the summer," and devoured it with the 
 eagerness displayed by a book-worm over some 
 newly-discovered volume of "forgotten lore." 
 
 Consultation followed consultation, and it was 
 finally decided, as a preliminary step towards the 
 accomplishment of our precious scheme, to tele- 
 graph to our friends the Hillwigs and the Thomp- 
 sons, to come around and spend the evening 
 without fail. This would afford us the desired 
 opportunity of unfolding our picture before their 
 delighted eyes we never doubted for an instant 
 about their being delighted and of offering them 
 a chance to become cooperators and participators 
 with ourselves of the good things in store. 
 
 I accordingly dispatched the telegrams to their
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. 1 5 
 
 respective addresses that morning on my way to 
 a country real estate agent, and nothing save a 
 consideration of the expense involved, prevented 
 me from furnishing all the details by electricity, 
 so wrapped up was I in the promised land. 
 
 Evening came at last, and with it the Hillwigs, 
 full of curiosity to learn the cause of our dispatch ; 
 the Thompsons, however, failed to put in an ap- 
 pearance. This served temporarily to dampen our 
 ardor, for we were conscious of having a good 
 theme, and we craved a full house. However, it 
 is very difficult to repress the Brooks family when 
 they are specially interested over any topic, so 
 after giving the Thompsons a fair allowance of 
 time, we turned up the lights and proceeded to 
 unroll our gorgeous panorama. Somehow, the 
 applause that followed the show was neither as 
 prolonged nor as frequent as we felt we had a 
 right to expect ; it was like being caught in a 
 thunder shower when everything promised fair 
 weather and we had no umbrella. 
 
 Hillwig is a German both by birth and educa- 
 tion, and, though one of the nicest fellows going, is 
 phlegmatic after the manner of his race, and slow 
 to arrive at a conclusion ; and his wife, an Ameri-
 
 1 6 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 can girl and one of Mrs. B.'s school-mates, whether 
 naturally, or through association, takes after him, 
 and, as a consequence of this defect of character 
 as we viewed it they utterly failed to roll in 
 ecstasy over the Plan, as we had expected them to, 
 and we were intensely disappointed. Their adjec- 
 tives resembled pails of water, iced too closely to 
 be pleasant hearing, and I think for one moment 
 Mrs. B. meditated shutting them out of the earthly 
 paradise we had under construction, and letting 
 them wander on in outer darkness, wailing and 
 gnashing their teeth. The memory of many jolly 
 evenings passed in their society, however, proved 
 potent at this trying crisis when they were weighed 
 in the balance and found wanting, and gulping 
 down our disappointment at their lack of appre- 
 ciation, we ctiaritably invited them to come into 
 the ark and be saved. In spite of the coolness 
 with which they had listened to us, the Hillwigs 
 seemed not only willing, but pleased, to participate 
 in the scheme, and over our cups of steaming 
 coffee, for which I dispatched the elevator boy 
 one of the few advantages of the flat system is 
 that judicious bribing will at any time secure the 
 invaluable services of the elevator boy, while those
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. I/ 
 
 desiring transit have a choice between ringing the 
 bell till he comes, or walking our enthusiasm 
 became contagious, and the evening ended very 
 pleasantly. 
 
 Thus a beginning was made, and after the Hill- 
 wigs' departure, we congratulated ourselves that 
 the baby was learning to walk. 
 
 Bright and early as the law allows, the follow- 
 ing morning, we repaired to the abiding-place of 
 the Thompson family, to ascertain why they had 
 not honored our telegram. 
 
 Inquiry elicited the fact that they had read it 
 incorrectly ; and under the belief that we were 
 coming to see them " without fail " the previous 
 evening, had remained up until the small hours 
 before discovering their error, and then retired 
 in an atmosphere of sulphur created by Doctor 
 Thompson Thompson is a newly-fledged phy- 
 sician who is somewhat irascible, and hates 
 above all things to be disappointed. 
 
 After condoling with them over their wake, and 
 exchanging a few commonplaces, we proceeded to 
 air our discovery for a second time ; somewhat 
 timidly now, for the memory of the Hillwig 
 shower was too fresh in our minds for us to feel
 
 1 8 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 any certainty as to how it would be received. 
 
 This time, thanks be to fortune ! our fears were 
 misplaced ; and we were met by an ovation. 
 
 If the Doctor and his wife had been man-eating 
 sharks of the most voracious descriptions, and 
 after a ten days' fast had suddenly been brought 
 into tempting proximity with a human limb, they 
 could not have leaped at the bait in livelier 
 fashion than they did. Nothing could surpass 
 the rapture and delight with which they greeted 
 the unfolding of our plan, and the prompt and 
 hearty endorsement they gave it when our tale 
 was told. 
 
 "Brooksy, old boy," said the Doctor, sinking 
 ecstatically upon a lounge, as though his emotions 
 had overpowered him, " it's enormous ; and I'm 
 with you in French, English and German." 
 
 Mrs. Thompson received the glad tidings in 
 an equally favorable manner with the Doctor, and 
 in the height of her exultation at being invited 
 to participate in an enterprise of such promise, 
 confided the whole thing to the baby, a scrap of 
 humanity as yet guiltless of teeth, and just 
 beginning to produce a peculiar gurgling sound 
 which was entirely void of meaning to the un-
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. IQ 
 
 initiated, but which the Thompson family, nurse 
 included, insisted on calling a remarkably distinct 
 " mamma." 
 
 That phenomenal infant on being appealed to 
 for an opinion, actually clapped a pair of chubby 
 hands and smiled all over in approval, whether of 
 the plan or the babel of sound going on around 
 it, it was impossible to determine, although of 
 course the ladies insisted it was the former, and 
 " blessed its heart " for its astuteness. 
 
 Need I say it was a love feast ? 
 
 Happy in the discovery of congenial souls with 
 whom to share our enthusiasm, we fairly bathed 
 in ecstatic imaginings, and were almost too impa- 
 tient to wait for summer to arrive, so eager were 
 we for our dreams to become realities. 
 
 The number of things, possible and impossible, 
 that were to be accomplished as easily as rolling 
 off a log under the cooperative plan of living, 
 would fill a volume the size of this. 
 
 There was nothing too high for us to reach. 
 Among other things, I remember it was proposed 
 that we give a masked ball, and invite a hundred 
 or so of friends up from the city, utterly regard- 
 less of where they were to be housed and fed ;
 
 2O POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 a magnificent collation was to be spread on the 
 festive occasion, and the grounds were to be taste- 
 fully illuminated with Japanese lanterns and cal- 
 cium lights. 
 
 "The cost won't amount to a row of pins all 
 around, you know, on the cooperative plan," 
 observed the Doctor sagely. 
 
 It suddenly occurred to Mrs. Thompson that 
 we must have a name for our Eden, and this sug- 
 gestion set every tongue wagging at once, just as 
 though Shakespeare hadn't proven conclusively 
 that it is the rose that smells sweet, and not the 
 name after all. 
 
 The list submitted for approval was certainly 
 varied and exhaustive, " Paradise Villa," " Saus 
 Souci," " High Life Cottage " and " Liberty Hall " 
 being among the number. Just as we were on 
 the point of coming to blows over this important 
 matter, we suddenly recollected that we had not 
 secured our land of "locust and wild honey" as 
 yet, and concluded that, after all, it might be as 
 well to catch our hare before deciding on the style 
 of cooking, and the meeting ended as amicably 
 as it began, the Thompsons pledging us their 
 cordial cooperation in our plan.
 
 HATCHING THE EGG. 21 
 
 On the way home, we could not refrain from 
 contrasting the enthusiasm displayed over the 
 scheme by the Thompson family with the luke- 
 warm reception it met at the hands of the Hill- 
 wigs somewhat detrimentally to the latter's power 
 of appreciation and ended up by agreeing that 
 the Doctor and his wife were far more expansive, 
 more satisfactory to deal with, than the Hillwigs. 
 
 In fact, the Thompsons had entirely won us 
 by their cordial adoption of our nursling. 
 
 Ah ! how little it is given to us weak mortals 
 here below to read the future ! The hour was at 
 hand when our eyes should be open, and we 
 should be able to discriminate between true 
 friends and but I am getting ahead of my 
 story. 
 
 That same week another young married couple, 
 the Irvings, were enlisted in the cause, and the 
 plan was well under way. 
 
 Thus the egg was hatched, and in the chapters 
 to come, it will transpire how the chicken thrived.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 A FORETASTE. 
 
 THE developments of my first chapter occurred 
 about the middle of April, and we went to 
 work with such whole-souled assiduity the rest of 
 the month, that May first moving day found us 
 pleasantly located on the Sound, at a place known 
 to pleasure-seekers, but not to geographers, by the 
 enticing sobriquet of Maple Grove; in fact, the 
 place had no geographical standing whatever, a 
 fact which, to our romantic eyes, rather enhanced 
 its value than otherwise. It was situated on the 
 Connecticut coast, about two miles from the New 
 York border, and had long been looked favorably 
 upon as a likely site for a summer hotel. 
 
 Consisting of twenty-five acres of land, it in- 
 cluded among its attractions a picnic grove, a fine 
 bathing beach, a pavilion where refreshments and 
 bathing facilities could be obtained by the outside 
 public at a reasonable stipend, and last, but by no
 
 A FORETASTE. 2J 
 
 means least, in our enamored eyes, two lovely 
 summer cottages embowered in clematis and 
 honey-suckle. 
 
 For the larger of these, known as Maple Grove 
 Castle, we had successfully negotiated with the 
 landlord for the summer, and there we rapturously 
 pitched our tents, and gave ourselves up to fond 
 imaginings of the delights in store for us when 
 June should usher in the rest of the society. 
 
 Description would signally fail to do justice to 
 Maple Grove and its environs ; surrounded on two 
 sides by the waters of the Sound, while a softly 
 flowing stream known as Silvan River, laved its 
 grassy banks on at hird, a lovely peninsula was 
 created, and nothing save a narrow connecting link 
 of land united us to the bustle and turmoil of the 
 world of sorrows. 
 
 Tall, stately trees reared their majestic heads 
 here and there, reminding one of the "stately 
 homes of England," and beyond the rolling, well- 
 kept lawn of our castle, a luxurious undergrowth 
 of nature's many-blended shades of green, made a 
 pleasing object for the tired eye to rest upon 
 when old Sol spent his summer fury on the 
 parched earth. Sitting on our piazza., one could
 
 24 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 look out through the foliage as it was blown gently 
 to and fro by the summer zephyrs, and catch little 
 fleeting glances of the blue water beyond ; some- 
 times at night, when the pale, cold rays of the 
 moon fell brightly on these little patches, and a 
 ship could be seen sailing majestically across 
 them, it was like looking at .a charming vignette, 
 painted with more than human skill. 
 
 As far as the Castle itself was concerned, if it 
 had been built with a special view towards accom- 
 modating itself to the requirements of the cooper- 
 ative plan, it could not have answered the purpose 
 better than it did. 
 
 Every room in it, for example, was the best room, 
 so that the possibility of any disagreement occur- 
 ring when the allotment of quarters came to be 
 made, never entered our heads as within the range 
 of mundane casualities. Would you believe it, 
 though ? as it is always the impossible that happens, 
 so it was with the rooms, and nothing but Mrs. 
 B's. tact prevented an outburst over the choice. 
 But I am galloping ahead of my story again. We 
 wrote glowing accounts to our friends about the 
 paradise whose gates were open to receive them, 
 receiving the most satisfactory answers in reply,
 
 A FORETASTE. 2$ 
 
 and solemn promises that June ist would positively 
 see the entire party united beneath the hospitable 
 roof of Maple Grove Castle, a name, by the way, 
 which was accepted enthusiastically by some, and 
 scornfully rejected by others. The result fic- 
 titious titles for place and person being freely 
 adopted by our friends was to drive the post- 
 master of the neighboring village almost frantic, on 
 encountering such addresses as 
 
 " DUCHESS OF MAPLE GROVE, 
 
 HIGH LIFE COTTAGE, 
 
 and a limitless number of other conceits, until he 
 finally came to the conclusion that all letters whose 
 directions seemed to indicate a mind diseased, 
 must belong to us, and delivered them accordingly. 
 
 Things were going very smoothly and to our per- 
 fect satisfaction, and we certainly realized enough 
 enjoyment during that month of seclusion and 
 bright expectations more than sufficient to atone 
 for any subsequent shortcomings in the working of 
 our plan. 
 
 The Mullaney family, including our old standby 
 Mary Cecilia, and her mother and sister, were in pos- 
 session of the kitchen ; the rooms were ready even to
 
 26 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 lace curtains, and nothing remained save the arrival 
 of the dramatis persona to complete the picture. 
 Meanwhile we banished all care, and gave ourselves 
 up to the enjoyment of the hour, when suddenly 
 our- fancied security was interrupted by an unex- 
 pected onslaught from without, and coming 
 events began vaguely to cast their shadows before 
 It is a strange and melancholy fact, that human 
 happiness is never of long duration; that just as 
 we are about to grasp the luscious fruit, either a 
 branch breaks or our foot slips, and presto! we find 
 ourselves lying bruised and battered on the 
 ground. 
 
 The advance guard of the enemy in this instance, 
 took the shape of a letter from Mrs. Augustus Syl- 
 vester, a Cincinnati girl, and an old school-mate of 
 Mrs. B's., in which she calmly announced that on 
 the Friday ensuing, she, her husband, French 
 maid, and English poodle, would make a descent 
 upon us, with a view of favoring us with their 
 society until Monday, and seeing how we were sit- 
 uated for the summer. 
 
 Externally, I kept up a bold front when this bul- 
 letin arrived, to persuade Mrs. B., if possible, that 
 the announcement of their coming was a rather
 
 A FORETASTE. 2? 
 
 delicious morsel to roll under the tongue than 
 otherwise ; internally, I felt something as I fancy 
 the merry-makers of Brussels must have, when, the 
 ball being at its height, they were suddenly re- 
 called to earth by the cannon booming at Waterloo. 
 This apparently unreasonable horror over the mere 
 anticipation of the Sylvesters' visit is easily ac- 
 counted for. 
 
 As school-girls, Mrs. B. and Vivian Greenough 
 had been bosom friends and sworn allies, and when 
 we were married, Vivian, in pursuance of an old 
 compact, had come on from Cincinnati especially to 
 officiate as bride' s-maid. It was then I had made 
 her acquaintance and been very favorably im- 
 pressed with the bright-eyed, golden-haired confi- 
 dante of Mrs. B.'s school-girl secrets. She 
 remained with Polly's mother for a fortnight, while 
 we were away on our tour, and during her stay 
 became intimately acquainted with a Mr. Augustus 
 Sylvester, an extremely wealthy man who subse- 
 quently followed her to Cincinnati and brought her 
 back with him as his bride. At first, we saw con- 
 siderable of the young couple, but we gradually 
 allowed them to drop out of our circle of intimate 
 friends, although pleasant relations were always
 
 28 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 maintained, for we couldn't, of course, afford to 
 entertain as they could, and we possess a certain 
 pride about us which makes tit for tat a sine qua 
 lion of our enjoyment of friends' society. 
 
 Since their marriage, the Sylvesters had kept 
 house on a scale of lavish expenditure which en- 
 tirely precluded the making of any exertions on 
 their part necessary. They had their double staff 
 of servants from the butler down to boots on the 
 male side, and from the housekeeper down to the 
 scullery-maid on the female, so that they had but 
 to ring a bell, when instantly a slave appeared, and 
 their wishes were executed as though they were 
 the fortunate possessors of Aladdin's lamp. I am 
 inclined to believe that in our day and generation a 
 comfortable balance at the banker's is a very fair 
 substitute for the lamps and rings of Arabian 
 Nights' lore. 
 
 As a consequence of this inaction, this domestic 
 surveillance which rendered it almost an impossi- 
 ble feat for Vivian to raise a finger in her own ser- 
 vice, she naturally deteriorated from the bright, 
 laughing girl she had been in her Cincinnati home, 
 and became more like the queen of a seraglio. 
 
 She took to affecting aesthetics and French, and
 
 A FORETASTE. 29 
 
 finally, for want of something better to do, gave 
 herself over to that never-failing solace of dames 
 who suffer from her complaint, the possession of a 
 poodle on which to lavish the energy that can 
 find no other vent. Caprice was the name of the 
 special monstrosity in the canine line on which 
 Mrs. Sylvester lavished her attention, and, seeing 
 them together, it became a toss-up in one's mind as 
 to whether dog or mistress best deserved the 
 name. 
 
 I remember wondering once, when I called upon 
 Vivian, and found Caprice, enveloped in flannel, 
 lying in state before a blazing grate-fire, with a 
 veterinary surgeon in close attendance, how many 
 human beings within the city limits, not suffering 
 from slight colds, as in the case of Caprice, but in 
 the last stages of consumption, would welcome that 
 comfortable Turkish rug and life-giving fire, as the 
 shipwrecked sailor welcomes the drop of rain-water 
 as it hisses down his burning throat. 
 
 Just at this point in my reflections Vivian 
 handed me a dainty little piece of cambric and 
 asked if I wouldn't please blow poor Caprice's 
 nose. 
 
 I left in disgust.
 
 3O POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 Is it any wonder that the expected advent of 
 such spoiled children of fortune failed to make us 
 caper with delight, especially when there were only 
 five of us, including ourselves, to see that their 
 needs were attended to ? 
 
 Friday came. Mrs. B. and I were outwardly as 
 smiling as though a lucky turn of Fortune's wheel 
 had enabled us to put into execution our pet 
 scheme of a year's travel in Europe, and inwardly 
 praying for rain as though we were toilers of the 
 soil and saw all our hopes of a good harvest de- 
 stroyed by drought. 
 
 How the sun did shine that day ! 
 
 About four o'clock the avalanche rolled in upon 
 us. The first sight I saw was a boy sitting on the 
 front seat of the carriage, holding Caprice on his lap. 
 
 " Jupiter ! " I exclaimed. " Has she engaged a 
 valet for the poodle ? " 
 
 " So it would appear," said Mrs. B. 
 
 Subsequently, however, we learned that poor lit- 
 tle Caprice absolutely refused to travel unless sup- 
 ported by the human lap device, so it was deemed 
 best to have an attendant, who, in addition to ser- 
 vices rendered Caprice, could also perform the 
 Herculean feat of purchasing tickets.
 
 A FORETASTE. 31 
 
 "Mais vous pouvez retourner maintenant" said 
 Vivian on their arrival ; then, suddenly remember- 
 ing that the youth was of Hibernian extraction, she 
 added in English, " I mean you can return to the 
 house now." 
 
 Then she turned to Mrs. B. and deliberately fired 
 her first shot. 
 
 " Polly, ma chere, I have decided to leave dear 
 little Caprice with you for the summer, as I shall 
 toujours en voyage. He will be such a comfort to 
 you and George when you are ennuyer" 
 
 I am tolerably strong, but I frankly aknowledge 
 that when Vivian Sylvester made that dire an 
 nouncement, I would have succumbed at the near 
 approach of a feather. 
 
 Meanwhile there stood Vivian, like a lady 
 patroness at a charity dinner, looking alternately 
 at Mrs. H. and myself, and evidently waiting for 
 the forthcoming outburst of gratitude. 
 
 It never forth came. 
 
 Dinner was served at last, and proved a master- 
 piece of Mary Cecilia's art. Even Mrs. Sylvester, 
 fresh from such luxurious pastures as Delmonico's 
 and the Brunswick, deigned to praise ; and Mrs. 
 B. and I brightened up and gave thanks.
 
 32 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 " Mercy ! " she exclaimed suddenly ; and we 
 trembled at what the exclamation might herald. 
 " Augustus will be here shortly and want his din- 
 ner. I sincerely trust you have not been so 
 thoughtless as to cook the entire roast. Augustus 
 never could eat warmed-over meat." 
 
 At this unreasonable bit of selfishness, Mrs. B. 
 spunked. 
 
 " I think, Vivian," she said, with withering satire, 
 " that whatever may be the practice in restaurants, 
 private families do not, as a rule, cook their meat 
 in chunks." 
 
 This outburst of independence effectually sub- 
 dued Vivian for the nonce, and I applauded enthu- 
 siastically, but dumbly, under the table with my 
 thumb nails. 
 
 When Augustus did arrive, he ate the warmed- 
 over meat with considerable gusto, and straightway 
 betook himself to the perusal of the evening paper. 
 To the best of my belief, if he had been put upon 
 the witness-stand, he couldn't have told whether 
 he had eaten roast beef or Chinese birds' nests. 
 
 The next morning I sprang from the bed, under 
 the impression that the house was on fire, for the 
 smoke was pouring into the room through the crev-
 
 A FORETASTE. 33 
 
 ices of the door, until it really threatened strangu- 
 lation. Under the circumstances, I deemed it best 
 to awaken Mrs. B. also. She was sleepy, and sug- 
 gested that it was Mary Cecilia building the 
 kitchen fire. 
 
 " But, my dear," I replied, " with all due regard 
 to Mary Cecilia's reverence for the motto 'Early to 
 bed, and early to rise,' is it likely she would build 
 the fire at the unearthly hour of 4.30 A.M. ? " 
 
 "Goodness!" exclaimed Mrs. B., "if that's the 
 hour, there must be something wrong, and you had 
 better investigate." 
 
 I investigated with this result : 
 
 Before the parlor grate, unused for several dec- 
 ades, stood Mrs. Augustus Sylvester, picturesquely 
 attired in her petticoat and dressing-sack, her face 
 begrimed with soot, like a veritable Goddess of the 
 Forge, in the act of laying a green stick on top of 
 several others which smoked and sizzled dismally 
 on the andirons, while around her in ruthless dis- 
 order, thick as leaves in Vallambrosa, or cannon at 
 Ballaklava, were scattered little heaps of the same 
 green and incombustible material. Mary Cecilia is 
 a paragon of excellence in the domestic line, but 
 after all, she is human ; and when I thought of the
 
 34 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 energetic sweeping and dusting that room had 
 undergone the previous day, I shuddered. 
 
 Suddenly the would-be incendiary caught sight 
 of me, and exclaimed plaintively : 
 
 " O George ! is that you ? Just see how ener- 
 getic I can be when I want to ! You see we are 
 not used to the country, and you know how delicate 
 Caprice is, so I thought I'd take the chill off the 
 house. But I wouldn't give any trouble for any- 
 thing, so I made the milkman bring up wood from 
 the cellar, and have been working like a black- 
 smith ever since ; mats ga nc briile pas. 
 
 As she said this, the embryo conflagration gave 
 one last derisive sputter and went out. This 
 proved the death-blow to her ambition, and I had 
 little difficulty in persuading her to return to her 
 room, leaving me to make three trips to the cellar 
 to return the wood. 
 
 By this time, the entire household was aroused, 
 sleep having been effectively put to flight, and we 
 had the exceeding felicity of sitting around aimlessly 
 for three mortal hours, like hams in a smoke-house, 
 waiting for breakfast. 
 
 But Vivian Sylvester wouldn't give any trouble 
 -for anything!
 
 A FORETASTE. 35 
 
 Oh no ! 
 
 Meanwhile our hearts felt heavy as lead every 
 time our eyes rested on that ugly English poodle, 
 for Vivian had not failed to interlard her conversa- 
 tion with minute instructions as to his diet, exer- 
 cise, toilet, etc., and we felt that if Frederick 
 William had been born twins, the care and respon- 
 sibility would have been light in comparison with 
 that entailed by the keep of that poodle of 
 English extraction. 
 
 What with feeding, doctoring, bathing and per- 
 fuming, it was evident that one, at least, of the 
 Mullaney family would find occupation for the 
 summer. 
 
 But we are very good-natured Mrs. B. and I, 
 and we did not like to refuse absolutely, to make a 
 home for that little stranger ; besides, we were 
 under many obligations to the Sylvesters, and it 
 would have seemed ungrateful ; so we knew that 
 nothing short of a miracle could save us. Realiz- 
 ing this, our spirits and appetites departed together, 
 and Mrs. B. went about humming in doleful strain, 
 
 " A charge to keep I have." 
 
 At the eleventh hour, however, the tide turned 
 in our favor, and the British evacuated.
 
 36 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 This is how our salvation came : Vivian chanced 
 to ask for lime-water Sunday morning, to dose 
 Caprice's milk with, as the dear little fellow's organ- 
 ization is too delicate to withstand the full force of 
 that bovine article in an undiluted condition. The 
 fates being propitious, we had none in the house, 
 and there was no way of procuring any until 
 Monday. 
 
 From the startled look of mingled horror and 
 surprise that swept over Vivian's countenance at 
 this stroke of misfortune, I felt that we were saved 
 from the threatened infliction. 
 
 She probably made up her mind from that 
 moment that we were not fit to be trusted even 
 with the well-being of a dog. At all events, she 
 began to break to us gradually, our prospective 
 loss, and finally announced that as the care of 
 Caprice might prove troublesome to us, she had 
 decided, after all, to leave him with the groom for 
 the summer. 
 
 We protested weakly oh! so weakly! that 
 trouble was no object, and then indulged in a 
 dance of delight on the sly in the butler's 
 pantry, to celebrate the joyful occasion. 
 
 The last sounds we heard Monday morning,
 
 A FORETASTE. 37 
 
 when the Sylvester menage drove off, were the 
 whimperings of Caprice, and the soothing expres- 
 sions of Vivian and the maid consoling and asking 
 him where he suffered, and we felt more thankful 
 than ever that we had not become his sponsors. 
 
 "Mrs. B.," said I, rather gravely, that night as I 
 was locking up the Castle, and unlocking my griev- 
 ances, "if this is a foretaste of what we are to 
 expect this summer, it would be better for us if 
 we had never been born." 
 
 "O George!" replied that courageous little 
 woman sagely, "you surely don't think the entire 
 population is made up of Sylvesters ! "
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 " THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING." 
 
 THE remaining weeks of May passed serenely, 
 though uneventfully, at Maple Grove, and 
 the memory of the Sylvester episode, mellowed 
 by time, seemed like a horrible nightmare, chased 
 away by the return of day, when the looked-for 
 first of June arrived, and we hoisted the flag, 
 donned our holiday attire, and prepared to give 
 our friends a rousing reception on their arrival. 
 The first to put in an appearance were the 
 Thompsons, full of eagerness and enthusiasm, 
 which we reciprocated to the fullest extent. If 
 it had been the Fourth of July, and the Doctor 
 a ten-year-old youngster, with his first pack of 
 fire-crackers, he couldn't have manifested a greater 
 amount of ecstacy than he displayed on that 
 occasion ; he cheered, he sang snatches from the 
 comic operas, he shook hands with us twenty 
 times over, and altogether showed such delight 
 
 33
 
 " THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING." 39 
 
 at being with us, as was exceedingly gratifying 
 to our vanity. He superintended personally the 
 unloading of his chattels ; and he took as much 
 interest in their disposition as though he had 
 pitched on a lodgment for life. Nor was Carry 
 far behind him in zeal. She rushed frantically 
 into Mrs. B.'s arms, kissed her enthusiastically, 
 and expressed herself as confident that not a 
 cloud would dim the horizon of our friendship ; 
 she rather gave the impression, in fact, that, to 
 the best of her belief, we would get along together 
 after the harmonious fashion of 
 
 " Four gray geese in a green field grazing," 
 
 and we were deeply touched when she turned; 
 towards Mrs. B. and said with a pathetic Jittle. 
 tremor in her voice : 
 
 " Now, Polly dear, if I do anything you don't 
 like, and you feel that you have the slightest 
 cause for grievance against me, don't hesitate to 
 come and tell me about it, and. we can talk the 
 matter over as friends should, and come to a 
 pleasant understanding." 
 
 Of course Mrs. B., who is naturally soft-hearted, 
 melted over this pretty little effusion, and promptly 
 begged Carry to come and do likewise, should
 
 4O POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 the cases be reversed, and she the offender. This 
 was just as it should be among cooperators, and 
 made a very affecting picture. 
 
 Altogether, we formed a sort of mutual admi- 
 ration society of a very exalted character a new 
 Damon and Pythias arrangement in four parts 
 and it seemed almost like a sacrilege when a new 
 arrival took place, and put an end to the touching 
 tableau. This proved to be the Irvings, the last 
 young married couple who had been enrolled 
 under the banners of cooperation. Though not 
 as effusive as the Thompsons, they too expressed 
 themselves as delighted at being with us, and 
 the entire party was wreathed in smiles and sun- 
 shine. Surely no plan was ever inaugurated more 
 auspiciously, or with greater promise of success, 
 than ours was that day. 
 
 After passing the compliments of the season, 
 and exchanging congratulations, a tour of inspec- 
 tion was instituted, in which all took part, except 
 Mabel Irving, who was the victim of a chronic 
 weakness which prevented her from joining in 
 any enterprise of a fatiguing nature, though on 
 occasion, when something was on the tapis in 
 which she was particularly interested, I have
 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING." 4! 
 
 known that girl cheerfully to undergo exertions 
 and hardships that would shatter the constitu- 
 tion of an average horse. It reminded me of an 
 old gentleman of my acquaintance, who is remark- 
 ably and conveniently deaf to the voices of duns, 
 but seems to catch, as by instinct, the lowest 
 whisper, when it consists of an invitation to " take 
 something." 
 
 Possessed of a pair of very effective black eyes, 
 and a set of teeth so perfect in shape and color 
 ing that they are frequently mistaken for an 
 artificial article, she is so beautiful as even to 
 awaken the admiration of her own sex, let alone 
 that of the sterner or softer whichever way you 
 choose to look at it and would be simply perfect, 
 or as nearly so as is vouchsafed to mortals here 
 below, had it not been for the languid give-away 
 sort of style she has adopted, with a full faith in 
 the becomingness of the role. 
 
 How girls and women can act as though they 
 were so delicate that they expected momentarily 
 to be whisked away by a breeze, and believe that 
 they thereby excite the admiration of mankind, is 
 more than I can understand. 
 
 They would be quickly disenchanted if they
 
 42 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 could hear the strictures passed upon them in 
 their absence. I remember asking a friend of 
 mine once how he enjoyed the society of a certain 
 young lady of this type, and he replied : 
 
 " She's a lovely girl, but I never feel at my 
 ease with her ; for she seems to be so feeble that 
 I constantly catch myself longing to hold a look- 
 ing-glass before her lips, to find out if she still 
 breathes." 
 
 And yet that girl was- strong and well, and 
 furthermore, was deeply in love with the one who 
 criticized her, and might have won him had it 
 not been for her unfortunate habit of playing 
 invalid. Irving and the Thompsons were delighted 
 beyond measure with the place, and we, for our 
 part, found it very pleasant to have some one 
 with whom to share our appreciation of and its 
 charms. 
 
 The pavilion especially, struck the Doctor as a 
 bonanza of the first water, and he fairly effervesced 
 with rapture, like a bottle of soda water, as he 
 walked around its spacious esplanade and read the 
 enticing notices : " Roast clams, 40 cts. ; " " Lem- 
 onade, 10 cts. ;" "Clam chowder, 30 cts. ; " until fin- 
 ally, unable to contain himself any longer, he made
 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING. 43 
 
 us sit down and investigate the merits of the roast 
 clams on the spot. It was agreed by all hands, 
 when our inspection was concluded, that Maple 
 Grove on the cooperative plan combined the ad- 
 vantages of a lovely home with all the privileges of 
 a first-class seaside hotel. Returning to the Castle, 
 we found Mabel tastefully grouped on the piazza, 
 gently agitating a fan of the palm-leaf description, 
 exerting herself as much, apparently, as though it 
 outweighed the anchor of a European steamship, 
 and gazing pensively at the distant horizon. 
 Grouped is the only word I can find to do justice 
 to the artistic posing of dress and surroundings : 
 from the Greasings in her dress to the angle described 
 by her slippered foot on the piazza, everything was 
 in perfect harmony; nor did the attitude appear 
 to be studied ; for much practice makes second 
 nature. 
 
 "Oh! you darling Polly, you," gushed Carry 
 Thompson to Mrs. B. ; "I don't see how we can 
 ever be grateful enough to you for providing such 
 a lovely summer Eden for us, and taking all the 
 care and worry on your shoulders." 
 
 "That's all right, dear," responded Mrs. B., who 
 was still in the condition of the young duck, with
 
 44 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 all her troubles yet to come ; "my shoulders are 
 pretty broad." 
 
 " He jests at scars who never felt a wound." 
 
 That evening, and many subsequent ones, passed 
 delightfully, in the full enjoyment of social inter- 
 course. 
 
 We played games, we conversed, we had recita- 
 tions, songs, everything, in fact, that goes toward 
 making up a pleasant evening in polite society. 
 
 If we had constituted a class for the practice of 
 etiquette an institution which, I am credibly in- 
 formed, flourishes in many young misses' boarding- 
 schools we could not have been more polite to 
 each other than we were. Such deference to the 
 wishes and opinions of others would have delighted 
 Lord Chesterfield himself if he could have witnessed 
 it. Why is it, I wonder, that we are so constituted 
 that we greet novelties with a full meed of respect 
 and only lose our deference when we grow too 
 familiar. 
 
 This is true even of the grandest natural phe- 
 nomenon in the world Niagara Falls. The new- 
 comer is fairly awed into silence when it first 
 bursts upon his vision, and when he recovers voice, 
 he is rapturous in praise of its grandeur and mag-
 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING." 45 
 
 nificence ; a week later he calls it "a very pretty 
 fall of water." 
 
 That night after the rest had retired fondest 
 kisses having been exchanged between the ladies, 
 and heartiest handshakes between the masculines 
 Mrs. B. and I held our regular owl-meeting, to 
 discuss the events of the day a habit we have 
 kept up ever since our marriage and congratu- 
 lated ourselves and each other upon the success 
 of the Plan. Everything was certainly lovely so 
 far, and for once, the pleasures of anticipation 
 seemed insignificant in comparison with those of 
 realization. 
 
 It was with conscious pride that Mrs. B. turned 
 over on her pillow the last thing that night before 
 seeking " nature's sweet restorer," and said : 
 
 " It takes me to plan, old fellow ! " 
 
 And I considered her pride perfectly justifi- 
 able. 
 
 The Hill wigs were to arrive on the following 
 week. They were going to drive up from the city 
 in their own phaeton, and had postponed their trip 
 so that it would not clash with Mr. Hillwig's busi- 
 ness interests. As all the cooperators who had 
 so far put in an appearance, would be home on the
 
 46 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 day of their arrival, it was decided to give them a 
 reception worthy of the Castle and its inmates. 
 
 The whole thing was discussed and planned at 
 the breakfast-table, and resulted in the concoction 
 of a very deep plot. 
 
 As usual, the Doctor was among the most active 
 of the conspirators, and he it was, I believe, who 
 suggested the grand coup de theatre we afterwards 
 put into effect, with what success you will learn 
 later. 
 
 We knew, of course, they could not arrive until 
 afternoon, so we spent our morning in the full 
 enjoyment of the dolcc far niente, lounging around 
 and doing nothing. This was an occupation Mrs. 
 Irving found extremely congenial, and one she 
 practiced very frequently ordinary days, though 
 it never seemed to interfere with her holiday 
 enjoyment of it. 
 
 She really did look picturesque in the extreme, 
 spread out on the grass beneath the umbrageous 
 shelter of an oak, with a dreamy, far-away look in 
 her eyes, and her dress of some light, feathery 
 material, falling in folds of careless elegance around 
 her. 
 
 She looked so incapable of energetic motion, so
 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING. 47 
 
 like a picture of still life in the gallery, that, try as 
 I would, the longing to discover whether this 
 lovely flesh-tinted Galatea could by any accident 
 be stirred into action and animation, took posses- 
 sion of me, and an opportunity occurring, I resolved 
 to put it to the test. 
 
 A green caterpillar of unusual dimensions had 
 just fallen from a leaf overhead on my hand, and 
 unobserved by any of the party, I managed to place 
 the many-footed monster on Mabel Irving's shoul- 
 der. This accomplished, I awaited developments. 
 If that caterpillar had been trained for the busi- 
 ness, he could not have answered the purpose I 
 had in view better. He raised his head, took a 
 calm survey of the field, and then deliberately 
 proceeded to crawl upwards toward the fair throat 
 above him. 
 
 At last he reached the goal of his ambition, 
 while I watched and waited with breathless interest 
 for the denouement. 
 
 It came. 
 
 Instinctively, my victim put up her hand and 
 brushed her neck. The reptile, dislodged from his 
 resting-place, fell on her lap, in full view of her dis- 
 tended eyes. With a shriek out of all proportion
 
 48 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 to the languid tone of her usual voice, she bounded 
 to her feet with the agility of an antelope, or a 
 New York fire-brigade when the alarm sounds, and 
 shook her dress as energetically as Mary Cecilia 
 might have done under similar circumstances ; nor 
 did she withdraw from the battle until my faithful 
 ally lay crushed beneath her slippered foot. 
 
 Then she dropped gracefully to pieces again ; but 
 my purpose was accomplished, and my experiment 
 had clearly demonstrated the shallow foundation of 
 Mabel Irving's chronic weakness. I thought it 
 was a pity she couldn't be haunted by that cater- 
 pillar's ghost. 
 
 After dinner, we put into execution our plan for 
 the Hillwigs' edification. 
 
 The ladies arrayed themselves like the lilies of the 
 field, and we fellows wriggled into our regulation 
 costumes, with bontonnie'res2ci\& everythingcomplete. 
 All this magnificence was intended to convey to 
 the Hillwigs' minds that it was the regular thing at 
 the Castle to don the correct attire in the after- 
 noons, and be altogether very "blarsted English," 
 you know, whereas, in reality, the ladies were wont 
 to wear light summer dresses, seeking comfort 
 rather than display, while we lounged around in
 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING. 49 
 
 blue flannel shirts, and looked more like yachtsmen 
 than anything else. 
 
 After admiring each other's appearance, and 
 exchanging plenty of friendly shots, we assembled 
 on the porch and snickered over the fun in pro- 
 spective. With infinite pains, I devoted an hour 
 to the construction of a floral wreath, somewhat 
 meagre in one part and bunchy in another, to 
 throw at May Hillwig on their arrival, and Carry 
 Thompson gushed over it as though it were the 
 masterpiece of a city florist. 
 
 Carry was given to ebullitions of this sort, and 
 like all the rest of her type, made too many profes- 
 sions to be really sincere in any of them. 
 
 There being a picnic that day, the road was filled 
 with villagers driving down to the pavilion, and if 
 their curiosity had been aroused in regard to the 
 occupants of the Castle before, it was certainly 
 augmented when they saw us in our holiday togs. 
 
 They craned their necks and twisted their 
 heads in passing until it really seemed as though 
 their curiosity would cost them the loss of the 
 latter very necessary appendage. 
 
 I suggested that perhaps they took us for butlers 
 and ladies'-maids, sent forward in advance to pre-
 
 5O POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 pare for the arrival of the real lord and lady of the 
 manor ; and the Doctor rather inclined to the belief 
 that they thought we kept a ten-cent museum, and 
 were ourselves some of the curiosities out for 
 advertising purposes. 
 
 Four o'clock came, and the Hillwigs had not yet 
 put in an appearance. As the sky had been over- 
 cast with clouds since morning, and a drizzling rain 
 now began to fall, we concluded that the unpleasant 
 outlook had deterred them from starting, and with 
 a rueful glance at our wasted finery, and a sneak- 
 ing consciousness that our joke had somehow 
 played boomerang, and, like the chickens, come 
 home to roost, we deserted the porch and returned 
 to the parlor, for the first time that day, in a prop- 
 erly subdued frame of mind. 
 
 Alas ! like the foolish virgins, we entirely neg- 
 lected to keep our lamps filled and trimmed. Half 
 an hour after we had relinquished all expectation of 
 seeing them, the Hillwigs quietly drove up to the 
 door, and were in our midst before we even knew 
 of their arrival. 
 
 Taken as it were in an ambuscade, and unable to 
 gather our wits together, we were ruthlessly slaugh- 
 tered by the enemy, and all our rehearsals for a
 
 * 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING." $1 
 
 stunning reception came to naught before the cur- 
 tain was rung up for a performance. Still a forlorn 
 hope remained. Fortunately, we had not gone 
 back to the every-day attire of life, and we could 
 hardly keep our faces straight as we made an im- 
 promptu grouping, and scanned their faces for the 
 blank look of amazement that our gorgeous feathers 
 were to produce, thrown, as they were, into a 
 stronger light by contrast with their own travel- 
 worn clothing. 
 
 Alas ! our birds were too old and too sage, un- 
 fortunately, to be caught by salting their tails. 
 
 Hill wig simply asked with his slight German 
 accent : 
 
 " Has zere been a birth here ? " 
 
 It was, beyond all question, a second Guy Fawkes' 
 day ; and our plot, like his, had gone up in smoke. 
 
 However, in the delight of having new arrivals 
 to whom we could open the Castle budget, we 
 speedily forgot our chagrin, and that evening was 
 added to the pleasant chaplet of its predecessors. 
 Hillwig and I had a long talk together over our 
 coffee, and I found that spite of the coolness and 
 phlegm with which he received the plan when first 
 proposed, there was no one who gave it so keen
 
 52 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 and thoughtful a sympathy as he did excepting, of 
 course, Mrs. B. and myself or who realized as 
 clearly as he did the responsibility we had taken 
 upon our shoulders. 
 
 Our cooperation club was now complete with the 
 exception of a young lady friend of Carry Thomp- 
 son's and her sister, whom she had begged might 
 have the still remaining room. 
 
 Having no one else in view, we readily acceded 
 to her wishes, and it was arranged that they should 
 come on the first of July. 
 
 About this time the drawbacks of cooperation, so 
 far as the heads of the house were concerned, began 
 to lift their heads like snakes half-hidden in the 
 grass. 
 
 For example, as there was no stern landlady to 
 say nay under the cooperative plan, and no personal 
 encounters with girls to dread, Carry Thompson 
 did not hesitate to feed her infant on beef tea and 
 crackers in the parlor, leaving the cups and saucers 
 as ornaments for the centre-table, and the crackers 
 carefully strewn all over the carpet. 
 
 As this occurred several times daily, and Mary 
 Cecilia had other duties to perform beside sweeping 
 up crackers, she naturally became aggrieved by the
 
 "THE CAMPBELLS ARE COMING." 53 
 
 time the broom was worn out, and asked Mrs. B. if 
 she wouldn't please speak to Mrs. Thompson, and 
 ask her to find another grazing place for her baby. 
 
 Mrs. B. would almost have relished a flying leap 
 from the rocks of Gibraltar, better than the duty 
 brought before her notice by Mary Cecilia's com- 
 plaint, until suddenly remembering Carry's touch- 
 ing request on her arrival, she resolved to put 
 theory into practice ; she did so in the gentlest 
 manner possible, and as a result, the parlor was no 
 longer converted into a nursery ; but Mrs. Thomp- 
 son's smiles waxed dimmer from that hour, and the 
 era of touching tableaux became a thing of the 
 dead past. 
 
 Another thorn in the side and this was general 
 was that no one seemed to have any regard what- 
 ever for meal hours. 
 
 Breakfast, by popular approval, was supposed to 
 continue until noon, lunch until two, and dinner 
 until nine. Of course not one of them would ven- 
 ture upon such a liberty as sauntering down to break- 
 fast at ten o'clock, in their own homes, but coop- 
 eration seemed different, somehow ; in fact, Mrs. B. 
 and I were beginning to find out that cooperation, 
 like charity, covers a multitude of sins.
 
 54 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 Finally, after Mary Cecilia got on the rampage, 
 and clearly demonstrated that she couldn't wash 
 dishes all day and all night, and attend to other 
 duties as well, it became evident that something 
 would have to be done. 
 
 This time I handled the unpleasantness. The 
 cooperators acquiesced in the novel idea, that 
 meals could only be obtained at certain hours, and 
 not at will, with a sort of "I-don't-understand-this- 
 kind-of-thing " air, for a few days, and then fell 
 back into former habits. 
 
 Twice a week this little unpleasantness had to 
 be treated, until finally, they all saw the difficulty 
 we were laboring under, and good-naturedly gave 
 up the conflict with one exception, however. 
 
 Carry Thompson still labored heavily under her 
 grievance. She had been told that Baby Madelaine 
 couldn't sow crackers on the parlor carpet, and the 
 wound rankled. 
 
 Still, in spite of little pin-pricks of this nature, we 
 were by no means discouraged, but made up our 
 minds that as soon as things had shaken down into 
 shape, everything would go as smoothly as a " Mid- 
 summer Night's Dream." 
 
 Cst le premier pas qui cante.
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 " HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL." 
 
 A GRAND clam-bake had been decided upon. 
 Every thing was going as smoothly at the 
 Castle, apparently, as though a skillful carpenter 
 had passed his plane over us, and a spirit of more 
 than brotherly love filled the breasts of the cooper- 
 ators, if appearances could be trusted. 
 
 In reality, a storm was brewing, and the cloud, 
 at first no larger than a man's hand, was increasing 
 in size with every day that passed, until it was 
 very evident that unless the wind veered around 
 into a favorable quarter right speedily, some one 
 was going to get wet. 
 
 Carry Thompson was as vindictive as a hill full 
 of red ants. She was nursing her imaginary griev- 
 ances on the very strongest kind of pap, and they 
 were thriving so well on the diet, that, beyond all 
 question, they would soon become too lusty to be 
 kept within bounds. 
 
 55
 
 56 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 She visited the sins of poor Mrs. B. on the entire 
 household impartially, held herself aloof from the 
 fraternity, and on every possible occasion, aired the 
 fact that she was awaiting the arrival of her friend 
 Dolly Martin, with feverish impatience ; for then, 
 and not until then, would she have society conge- 
 nial to her tastes and worthy of her merits. 
 
 After this sort of thing had gone on for some 
 time, we finally came to the conclusion that Dolly 
 Martin must be a species of ogress, who, on the 
 slightest provocation, would square her shoulders 
 and come down upon us like the wolf on the fold. 
 We pictured her as a large, angular woman, who 
 wore glasses and meant business. 
 
 Eventually she became such a bugbear to us, 
 and our dread of her advent grew so strong, that I 
 urged Mrs. B. to tell Carry that some other friends 
 of ours wanted to be adopted which was true at 
 that time and that under the circumstances, we 
 didn't feel justified in holding the room for the 
 Misses Martin. 
 
 " For," argued I sagely, "if Carry alone and un- 
 supported can turn the house into a sepulchre of 
 gloom and unpleasantness, what terrific rumpus 
 will she not manage to create when she is backed
 
 "HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL." 57 
 
 by such a powerful ally for evil, as, according to 
 her Own insinuations, this Dolly Martin must be ? 
 I tell you, in a week, she'll have us in such com- 
 plete subjection that all the inmates of the Castle 
 will be compelled to dine at the second table, 
 except the Thompsons and herself, and for all I 
 know, we will be obliged to wait on them in token 
 of our subjugation." 
 
 The only thing that prevented us from pursuing 
 this course, was the urging of Mabel Irving, who 
 was better acquainted with the Martin girls by far 
 than Carry, and who assured us they were both 
 nice girls, and would make desirable additions to 
 the family. 
 
 Relying on Mabel's judgment, we resolved to 
 abide events. 
 
 Of course that there was trouble of some sort 
 between Mrs. Thompson and ourselves, was too 
 self-evident to escape notice, and created a species 
 of embarrassment very difficult to fight off. 
 
 The Doctor, poor fellow, was in agony, and 
 didn't know which way to turn. Of course, right 
 or wrong, he was compelled to support his wife's 
 side of the controversy, while at the same time he 
 had all a man's horror of unpleasantness and
 
 58 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 scenes, and besides, was too well-pleased with his 
 surroundings to view the prospect of a rupture 
 with equanimity. To carry one's self successfully 
 through such a labyrinth of difficulties, would 
 require the adaptability of the turtle to live and 
 prosper equally on land and in the water. As 
 luck would have it, he was placed on one side of 
 Mrs. B. at table, and his wife on the other. This 
 arrangement had been made before the deluge 
 during the era of touching tableaux, when* we 
 looked upon the Thompsons as the incarnation of 
 loveliness thrice distilled and it would, of course, 
 look too pronounced to make any changes now. 
 
 The situation would have been ridiculous in the 
 extreme, if it had not been that, unfortunately, the 
 tragic side outweighed the comic. 
 
 The wretched Doctor would begin to chat pleas- 
 antly with Mrs. B., until a stolen glance at his 
 better-half revealed to his practiced eye the 
 approaching squall whose dreaded effects would 
 reach his part of the coast after bed-time, and he 
 would quickly take in all his canvas and scud 
 along under bare poles, speaking nautically, which 
 means that he would proceed to withdraw his con- 
 versation from Mrs. B. and address it all over the
 
 "HUMPTV DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL. 59 
 
 table in a nervous, random fashion, without speak- 
 ing to any one in particular, which was distressing 
 to witness. 
 
 Why is it that women are never satisfied to keep 
 their quarrels to themselves, but must needs drag 
 all their relations into them too ? 
 
 Such was the armed neutrality that existed in 
 the household, when the grand clam-bake took 
 place. 
 
 It was held at the pavilion, very late in the 
 evening, after the outside world had departed, and 
 left us the monarchs of all we surveyed. 
 
 Such a jolly, free-and-easy, rollicking good time 
 as we enjoyed the first part of that evening, it 
 would be hard to match. It is only when all the 
 participants are intimate friends, as we were, that 
 such a festival is either possible or allowable. We 
 sang, we talked, we smoked, we drank cider, we 
 speechified, we danced breakdowns, in fact, we 
 left nothing undone, that we could think of, to add 
 zest to the occasion, and our thoughts seemed to 
 be as lively as crickets on a hearth, that memorable 
 evening. 
 
 Finally, exhausted and breathless with our 
 efforts, but still hungry, we sat down to a second
 
 60 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 edition of clams with as keen a relish as we had 
 felt for the first, receiving each dishful as it ar- 
 rived with ravenous applause, and fairly burning 
 our fingers with the shells, in our eagerness to get 
 at the delicious bivalves. 
 
 Having at length satisfied the cravings of appe- 
 tite, and erected a monument of clam-shells in the 
 middle of the table, in memoriam, we again found 
 our tongues, and a feast of reason and a flow 
 of soul succeeded to the more substantial ban- 
 quet. 
 
 The conversation was of a desultory nature, as 
 it always is on such an occasion, and among other 
 topics, a very dear friend of ours who had recently 
 visited at the Castle, and been greatly admired by 
 every one, came under discussion. The comments 
 passed upon her were universally favorable, until 
 suddenly Carry Thompson, who had been remark- 
 ably quiet during the evening, said in clear, ringing 
 tones, distinctly audible to the entire company. 
 
 "It's easy enough to see that she doesn't come 
 by Jicr roses naturally." 
 
 Now if there is anything that transforms Mrs. 
 B. into a hornet's nest full of stings, it is unde- 
 served abuse of an absent friend ; and as Carry had
 
 "HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL." 61 
 
 sown the wind, so she was destined to reap the 
 whirlwind. 
 
 The color flashed into Mrs. B.'s cheeks in an 
 instant, and from this, and certain other ominous 
 signs, I felt certain that the lightning was about to 
 strike ; and, to tell the truth, I wasn't a bit sorry. 
 
 " If you mean to insinuate by that remark that 
 Nellie Ormsby owes her complexion to art, you are 
 very much mistaken," she said, with a calmness 
 that surprised me. 
 
 "I don't mean to insinuate anything," retorted 
 Carry sneeringly. "I assert that she paints, and 
 that it's as plain as the nose on your face." 
 
 "Then you are making an assertion that you 
 know to be false, and which, believe me, does not 
 add any luster to your womanhood." 
 
 Carry Thompson was vanquished, and had noth- 
 ing more to say. 
 
 This exchange of shot had lasted but a moment, 
 but its effect on that party of merry-makers was 
 similar to that of an old-fashioned brass snuffer 
 on a tallow candle. It effectually extinguished 
 every particle of mirth, and we suddenly came to 
 the unanimous conclusion that it was time to 
 break up and adjourn to the Castle.
 
 62 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 How strangely a quarrel, or even a tiff, between 
 two people at a gathering, communicates its un- 
 pleasantness to the rest! 
 
 We came down from the Castle like children 
 released from school ; we returned to it with all 
 the solemnity of a funeral with a body in the van. 
 
 Mrs. B. and I held a very grave owl-meeting 
 that night. The events of the evening were of too 
 serious a nature to be passed over lightly, and we 
 felt that our argosy was too near the rocks to be 
 saved by anything but the most careful sailing. 
 
 At first there seemed but one thing to do, and 
 that was, to extend a polite but cordial invitation 
 to Carry Thompson to remove herself and belong- 
 ings from our midst. 
 
 This would have accorded so well, however, with 
 the predictions of outside friends who were for- 
 ever croaking about the impossibility of friends 
 living together in harmony, that we were loath to 
 take the decisive step ; besides, who could tell 
 whether our chaplet possessed sufficient cohesion 
 to be kept together if some of its links were 
 broken. 
 
 Taking all this into consideration, the Court de- 
 cided to treat the prisoner's case as a first offence,
 
 "HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL.' 63 
 
 and, letting by-gones be by-gones, to act as nearly 
 as possible as though nothing had happened. 
 
 This impossible feat we accordingly attempted 
 the following morning, ably seconded by the Doc- 
 tor, who speedily caught the drift of our inten- 
 tions. 
 
 I talked until my throat was dry, then drank a 
 glass of water and started off again, plunging 
 recklessly into all sorts of nonsense, even going 
 so far fried eggs being one of the funeral meats 
 that morning as to ask the "egg-otists" present 
 to hold up their hands ; but all to no purpose. 
 The undertaker was in possession, and every coun- 
 tenance displayed the trappings of woe. 
 
 Carry sat there like a martyr of old, playing the 
 part so nearly to the life that one instinctively 
 looked for the halo which, according to all prece- 
 dent, should have encircled her head. There was 
 a sort of saint-of-the-middle-ages look on her face 
 which said plainly : 
 
 " Burn me at the stake if you will, but I warn 
 you in advance that I will die scattering blessings 
 all over you." 
 
 How cheerfully I could have piled the fagots 
 around her that jnormng ! aye, and fired them too.
 
 64 ' POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 From that day she commenced a systematized 
 tyranny over unfortunate Mary Cecilia ; worsted 
 in her attack on the mistress, she opened opera- 
 tions on the maid, until finally that much-abused 
 domestic came with tears in her eyes to Mrs. B., 
 and announced that she would be compelled to 
 hand in her resignation. This was a thunderbolt 
 with a vengeance. Lose our Mary Cecilia whom 
 we valued above rubies ! It was not to be thought 
 of, let alone allowed. 
 
 Judicious questioning elicited all the facts ; 
 and driven to the wall, Mrs. B. told Carry Thomp- 
 son that she felt it would be more conducive to the 
 continuance of our friendship such friendship 
 for us to part ; and requested her to seek quarters 
 elsewhere for the summer. 
 
 The Thompsons remained with us for four days 
 after " notice to quit " had been given, and, upon 
 my word, I don't think the place of perpetual fire- 
 works can be hotter than they succeeded in making 
 the Castle during the short remainder of their stay. 
 
 Before leaving, Carry got hold of May Hillwig, 
 and started off to scandalize Mrs. B., but soon 
 found out her mistake. 
 
 " Mrs. Thompson," said May quietly, " I have
 
 " HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL." 65 
 
 known Polly Brooks longer that you have, and 
 probably understand her better ; besides, I never 
 care to hear unpleasant things about my friends 
 behind their backs." 
 
 She also took particular pains to inform Mabel 
 Irving that she had written full details of the affair 
 to Dolly Martin, and if she was the girl she took 
 her for, she would never deign to cross a threshold 
 where her friend had been insulted. 
 
 Whereupon Mabel, who is a staunch and enthu- 
 siastic admirer of Mrs. B.'s, and who, as I before 
 remarked, is capable of any amount of energy, 
 when she sees fit, vowed that the Martin girls 
 might, could, would, should and must come, if only 
 to spite that nasty cat Carry Thompson. After 
 considerable holding out, we gave in, though not 
 without a great deal of misgiving, and consented to 
 let her act as she saw fit. At last the looked-for, 
 longed-for day arrived, and the Thompson menage 
 after a final exhibition of vindictiveness, which took 
 the shape of substituting a clam-bake at the pavilion 
 for their luncheon, without the politeness of notify- 
 ing us that they did not intend returning to that 
 meal, took its departure and passed out of these 
 pages and out of our lives forever.
 
 66 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 Was cooperation a failure ? 
 
 This question began to obtrude itself upon us 
 with startling pertinacy. Here we were still in 
 June, and already one friendship had been rele- 
 gated to the past ; whereas, seeing but little of the 
 Thompsons very little we might have remained 
 on amicable terms with them for years. 
 
 In addition to this, their departure had added 
 considerably to our expenses, and unless we could 
 speedily find friends to take their place a hard 
 matter so late in the season cooperation, like the 
 Irishman's reciprocity, would become very one- 
 sided. 
 
 Hopeful hearts and stout wills, however, are 
 qualities on the possession of which we pride our- 
 selves, and cheering and encouraging each other, 
 we went on as gamesomely as ever. 
 
 After the period of mourning had expired, we 
 thought the infusion of a little fresh blood might 
 prove beneficial, so I asked my old college chum, 
 Wilbur Curtis, up to spend a fortnight with us, 
 and about the same time, May Hillwig invited her 
 sister Viola Reefer, up for a similar period. 
 
 Viola, or Vi, as she was inevitably called, was one 
 of the sauciest, juantiest, wittiest little brunettes
 
 "HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL." 6/ 
 
 of seventeen summers, it was ever my good fortune 
 to meet. She was a perfect little "diable rose," 
 and as perfect a mistress of the art of taquiner 
 as any French woman living. All her features 
 were good, but her eyes were simply matchless ; 
 neither prose, verse nor canvas could begin to do 
 justice to them ; and I caught myself wondering 
 what Wilbur, or "Burr," as we always called him 
 at college, in all the dignity of his twenty-five years 
 of bachelorhood, a position at the bar, and an inde- 
 pendent income besides, would think of them 
 when first he encountered one of their sweet, 
 though mischievous, upward glances. 
 
 The next day he came, and it soon required but 
 little discernment to read their effect upon him. 
 
 " Burr, old man, it's a treat to see you again," I 
 exclaimed as I ushered him into the Castle. 
 
 "Well, Brooksy, old boy, what's the good word, 
 and how fares your grand combination show ? " 
 
 Thereupon, I proceeded to enlighten him as to 
 the recent disaster, and to bespeak his best efforts 
 towards retrieving lost ground. He had just time 
 to express his dismay at the situation, to ask 
 whether he ought to wear crape on his sleeve, and 
 to inquire how sooji he could take a train for the
 
 68 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 city, when dinner was announced, and introduc- 
 tions followed. Burr turned out a trump card, as 
 I knew he would, and before the evening was over, 
 had thoroughly ingratiated himself as a popular 
 favorite. How could it be otherwise, with his 
 handsome, open countenance, close-cropped curly 
 hair, twinkling eyes, and the contagious chuckle of 
 appreciation with which he welcomed any witticism 
 from others? 
 
 Perhaps I could not illustrate one side of his 
 character better than by relating a freak of his 
 perpetration while at college. 
 
 It occurred at a time when spiritualism and all 
 its cognate absurdities were in the ascendant, and 
 
 the old university town of N shared with 
 
 her neighbors in the popular mania. Consequently, 
 when it was placarded forth that on a certain even- 
 ing Professor X would demonstrate the wonderful 
 control of mind over mind for the reasonable 
 stipend of fifty cents a head, reserved seats a quar- 
 ter extra, excitement ran riot, especially among 
 the fairer sex a very important element of the 
 population and Professor X was greeted with a 
 full house, half the nabobs of the place being 
 among the audience. Among the rest a party of
 
 '"HUMPTV DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL." 69 
 
 students, in which Burr and I were included, put 
 in an appearance at the show, more, I fear, with 
 the idea of ogling the girls than of being impressed 
 or edified by the performance. 
 
 When the Professor, a manifest fraud, appeared 
 upon the platform and called for volunteers to 
 come up and be operated upon, Tom Trevors, who 
 was always up to some deviltry, exclaimed : " A 
 supper" for the crowd with any fellow, that I go up 
 and create more excitement than he does ! " 
 
 " Done ! " said Burr quietly ; and the two mounted 
 the platform together, while we awaited the denoue- 
 ment of the wager with breathless interest. 
 
 How they ever managed to keep their faces 
 straight on the occasion, is more than I can under- 
 stand. 
 
 They were the only volunteers on the platform 
 whose dress and countenances betokened either 
 culture or intelligence, and as a consequence, they 
 immediately became a focus for the eyes of the 
 entire audience. 
 
 Burr was seated at the end of the platform on 
 the left-hand side, with Tom Trevors next to him, 
 and as the Professor commenced operations at the 
 other end, it was some time before the show
 
 7O POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 in which we were specially interested, began. 
 
 For some reason or other, the mesmeric influ- 
 ences did not appear to be favorable that evening, 
 for until Trevors and Burr were reached, the most 
 insinuating passes failed to produce anything 
 more extraordinary in the way of response, than 
 stupid stares and idiotic grins ; and the audience 
 was momentarily growing more impatient and 
 disgusted. Our conspirators, however, gave full 
 satisfaction, and restored the audience to good 
 humor. They closed their eyes, they swayed to and 
 fro on their chairs, and acted generally after the 
 most improved mesmeric pattern. 
 
 Observing the changed spirit of the house, the 
 trickster of the evening, although he must, of 
 course, have scented the game, was quick to take 
 advantage of the opportunity offered, and deliver 
 a fitting exordium. 
 
 This concluded, he led Trevors forward to the 
 front of the platform, and proceeded to put him 
 through a series of monkey-shines by the control 
 of mind over mind. 
 
 Trevor's response to this control must have been 
 very gratifying to the Professor, as it certainly was 
 to the audience.
 
 "HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL. /I 
 
 He hopped like a toad, squealed like a pig, bel- 
 lowed like a bull, played he was a railroad train 
 one minute and a balloon the next, and cut up 
 such capers generally that the entire assemblage 
 became convulsed with laughter, and I verily be- 
 lieve that two-thirds of those present were con- 
 vinced of the power of mesmerism. 
 
 Satisfied at length with the performance of his 
 subject, the Professor made what he termed retro- 
 grade passes, and Trevors coming back to con- 
 sciousness, returned to our midst with a half-dazed 
 expression of countenance in full accord with the 
 role he had been playing. 
 
 Then came Burr's turn, and we wondered what 
 new developments of mesmeric art were in store 
 for us. 
 
 The Professor, a thorough proficient at feeling 
 the public pulse, in whatever else he might be 
 lacking, changed his tack entirely with his new 
 subject, and conducted the proceedings in such a 
 solemn fashion that we began to fear Burr would 
 not have a show for his wager. 
 
 After several questions as to religious views, 
 all of which had been answered in a perfectly ortho- 
 dox way, the Professor asked suddenly :
 
 72 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 " Are you in love ? " 
 
 " Deeply, but hopelessly," responded Burr with a 
 heart-rending sigh. 
 
 " Is the object of your affection present ? " 
 
 " I cannot tell from here." 
 
 " Go down among the audience, and if you dis- 
 cover her, indicate the fact." 
 
 Burr, obedient to the control of mind over mind, 
 descended the steps of the platform, his eyes 
 apparently closed, walked half way down the aisle, 
 hesitated a moment, and then leaning over the 
 seats, deliberately imprinted a kiss upon the up- 
 turned lips of the Mayor's daughter a deuced 
 pretty girl with whom he had not even a bowing 
 acquaintance and while the old gentleman was 
 fumbling about for his cane, returned swiftly, but 
 fully maintaining his part, to the platform, where 
 he stood perfectly unmindful, to all appearances, 
 of the uproar he had created. 
 
 If the hall had suddenly filled up with smoke 
 and flame, the excitement could hardly have been 
 greater. Men and women rose to their feet thrilled 
 at the rash act to which they had been witnesses, 
 while the gray-haired, venerable Mayor made his way 
 up the aisle, his cane in his hand and fury in his eye.
 
 "HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL. 73 
 
 Fortunately, however, the charlatan of the even- 
 ing was obliged for his own reputation's sake, to 
 protect his subject and to explain that he was 
 entirely irresponsible for his action. The outraged 
 father grunted incredulously, but was finally com- 
 pelled to accept the explanation tendered, and the 
 audience broke up in a hubbub. 
 
 No one enjoyed the supper that followed more 
 than Burr did, and Tom Trevors declared when he 
 paid for it that he had had his money's worth. 
 
 This incident only illustrates one side of Burr's 
 nature; for he joined to the spirit of fun which 
 pervaded him a depth of truth and sincerity which 
 he who ran might read. 
 
 Such was the fellow I had introduced as calcu- 
 lated to dispel the gloom which followed the 
 Thompson episode, and it worked like a charm. 
 
 As the days passed, I noticed with considerable 
 amusement that Burr was constantly seeking op- 
 portunities to monopolize Vi Reefer's society, and 
 Mrs. B. and I began to speculate on a possible 
 " Romance of the Castle."
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 
 
 OH dear ! this heat makes me feel so weak 
 and used up!" gasped Mabel Irving, fall- 
 ing into one of her impromptu graceful heaps on 
 the lounge as she spoke, and looking as cool as 
 the proverbial cucumber, presenting, in this respect, 
 a strong contrast to Burr and myself, who, being 
 full-blooded, were running away in little rivulets, 
 and looking, as we felt, thoroughly uncomfortable. 
 
 Two hours later, when the noonday sun was 
 blazing down as though resolved to usurp the 
 functions of the kitchen range, and the air was as 
 sultry as an oven, some friends of Mabel's rowed 
 over from a cottage on the other side of the bay, 
 and invited her to lunch. 
 
 With a display of energy and vivacity which 
 astonished Burr, who had not as yet read the para- 
 dox, she accepted the invitation extended, ran 
 yes, positively ran up-stairs, changed her dress, 
 
 74
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 7$ 
 
 and in fifteen minutes was tripping lightly down 
 to the beach beneath the hot rays of the sun, 
 chattering and laughing as merrily as though the 
 word languor had no existence in her vocabulary. 
 
 " By George ! you know," ejaculated Burr, looking 
 after her as though she were one of the seven 
 wonders, " I thought her gentle spirit was slipping 
 peacefully away into the hereafter." 
 
 At this moment Vi put in an appearance, and 
 flashing her gray eyes upon him, asked him if 
 his last remark had reference to her ; " Because," 
 said she, " when that time does arrive, you are not 
 apt to meet me again, even in the spirit ; so you 
 had better make the most of my society while you 
 can." 
 
 " How much do you charge an hour for listening 
 to your nonsense, my embryo angel ? " retorted 
 Burr, and I left them indulging in a shower of 
 badinage, which I fancy, however, changed to con- 
 versation of a more serious nature when they were 
 left to themselves, for that couple were certainly 
 beginning to understand each other. 
 
 Hillwig and Irving being in the city, and Mabel 
 visiting, our party was reduced to May Hillwig, 
 her sister, Burr, Mrs. B. and myself, and we
 
 76 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 imamimously voted for a picnic in the grove as a 
 substitute for the formal luncheon in the dining- 
 room. The thought was no sooner conceived 
 than we proceeded to put it into execution, and 
 startled Mary Cecilia into a belief that the heat 
 had affected our brains by making a sudden descent 
 upon the lunch table, and cramming the viands 
 upon it promiscuously into a basket. 
 
 " An' are you goin' to visit a hospital, mum ? " 
 she asked, failing to perceive any other motive for 
 our actions. 
 
 Being reassured on this point, and informed of 
 our intention, __ she gave a sympathetic grin, and 
 returned to her own provinces. 
 
 Fortifying ourselves, in addition, with ginger-pop 
 for the ladies and ourselves the knights of the 
 expedition we started off in high spirits for the 
 woods. 
 
 Burr took the precaution of wearing a huge cab- 
 bage leaf over the back of his head, being very 
 susceptible to the effects of the sun, which caused 
 Vi to exclaim that he was making a complete Burr- 
 lesque of himself, to which he retorted, that he 
 was not anxious to be sunstruck, for fear he might 
 become F/-olent.
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. // 
 
 It really seemed as though the two were forever 
 preparing little hits for each other, and when 
 Burr's peculiar little chuckle attested to his relish 
 of his repartee on this occasion, Vi observed with- 
 eringly : 
 
 " You may think yourself very funny, but I 
 wouldn't hiss like a goose over my own jokes, if I 
 were you." ^ 
 
 Burr had no response to make to this person- 
 ality, and Vi came out of the wordy conflict with 
 flying colors. 
 
 Arrived at our destination, with appetites sharp- 
 ened by our walk, we spread an impromptu table 
 under an overspreading tree and banqueted to our 
 hearts' content. 
 
 "How glorious are the works of nature!" com- 
 menced Burr, inspired by the scene and the 
 luncheon. 
 
 " Especially when they're alive," added Vi, imi- 
 tating his tone of voice as she dropped a grass- 
 hopper down his neck and effectually extinguished 
 his eloquence. 
 
 After doing justice to the inner man and return- 
 ing the debris to the basket, May and Mrs. B. 
 settled themselves down comfortably to their
 
 78 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 fancy-work, and I read to them while the unmar- 
 ried couple slipped quietly away, under the delu- 
 sion that they were as stealthy as North American 
 Indians, or a cat stealing cream, and blissfully 
 oblivious of the smile which passed between the 
 two they left behind them. 
 
 It was a scorching day one of the kind when a 
 comfortable position inevitably leads to a feeling 
 of drowsiness and after reading for fifteen minutes, 
 I couldn't have told whether I was regaling my 
 audience on Ltici/le or Mother Goose Melodies; 
 so I dropped my book, and fell into a sort of 
 half doze, vaguely conscious that an ant, or some 
 other insect, was investigating the region of my 
 nostrils possibly with an idea of occupation 
 but too lazy to brush it off. 
 
 From this beatific enjoyment, I was suddenly 
 aroused by hearing May Hillwig's voice appar- 
 ently a thousand miles away exclaiming : 
 
 "Why, there's Mrs. Irving with a gorgeous 
 creature in blue, parasol to match ! " 
 
 I looked up, and there, sure enough, was Mabel 
 Irving, accompanied by May's "gorgeous creature 
 in a blue dress." 
 
 Mabel was craning her neck in every direction,
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 79 
 
 and evidently searching for us. Half in a spirit of 
 mischief, and half because we felt it would be a 
 bore to do the polite to a stranger in such intensely 
 hot weather, we lowered our heads and played 
 h ide-and-go-seek. 
 
 Our game resulted disastrously, however, for 
 Mabel and her companion happened to stumble 
 upon us unawares, and when we least expected it, 
 and from our attitudes, and the conscious blushes 
 which mantled our cheeks, could easily conjecture 
 the game we had been up to. 
 
 However, we speedily recovered our senses, and 
 protested we had been dozing, and hadn't seen 
 them until the identical moment when they 
 were on the point of falling over our prostrate 
 bodies. 
 
 " Mrs. Hillwig, Polly, George, permit me to 
 introduce my friend, Miss Dolly Martin." 
 
 Dolly Martin ! ! The effect was electrical. It 
 was like a trumpet on a war-horse. Dolly Martin, 
 the ogress ! 
 
 Instinctively, we all started up simultaneously, 
 and fastened our eyes, filled with mingled interest, 
 curiosity and dread, on the girl who was to have 
 been Carry Thompson's " congenial society," until
 
 8o POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 the stranger reddened beneath the intentness of 
 our gaze. 
 
 Our first feeling was one of the most intense 
 disappointment ; our second a sense of genuine 
 relief. 
 
 Could this plump, rosy-complexioned, blue-eyed, 
 good-natured-looking little blonde be Carry Thomp- 
 son's Dolly Martin ? 
 
 It was enough to make one lose faith in one's 
 imagination forever. 
 
 Where were the length, the breadth, the angles, 
 the business air, and, above and beyond all the rest, 
 where were the glasses ? 
 
 " The sun at noon looked down and saw not one." 
 
 Beyond all peradventure, if this was Dolly Mar- 
 tin, and our eyes were not under some magical 
 glamour which would presently be removed and 
 reveal the hideous reality, we had been entertain- 
 ing delusions unawares. 
 
 The rules of good society finally came to the 
 rescue, and we gave Dolly Martin, who must have 
 thought us, like Robinson Crusoe, unused to the 
 sight of our own species, a heartier welcome by a 
 good deal than we ever expected she would receive at 
 our hands, and, after the way of the world, assured
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 8 1 
 
 her we had heard so much about her that we had 
 longed to know her. 
 
 It is well for us that the sin of lying is no longer 
 visited with the punishment it was in the days of 
 Ananias and his wife ; for if it were, modern 
 society would not have enough members living to 
 bury its dead. 
 
 It seemed that Mabel had ridden home from her 
 friends', and, by a curious coincidence, had met Miss 
 Martin, who was on her way to procure board for 
 herself and sister at a neighboring hotel, entertain- 
 ing the same ideas in regard to us that we had of 
 her. Mabel, however, persuaded her to meet us, 
 at least, before she made up her mind to take up 
 quarters elsewhere, and assured her we were not 
 quite so black as we were painted. 
 
 Certainly our first reception of her had not been 
 of a reassuring character. First, we had gone into 
 hiding, and then inspected her as closely as though 
 she were Barnum's latest curiosity, and we had 
 been granted a first view. 
 
 She afterwards told me that, from^our prolonged 
 stare, an uneasy idea came into her head that there 
 must be a big smudge of dirt across her nose. 
 
 I now leaped to. my feet and invited the entire
 
 82 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 party down to the pavilion for refreshments. May 
 and Mrs. B. not being robed for the public gaze, 
 however, excused themselves ; and Vi and Burr 
 not responding to our shouts, the stranger, Mabel 
 and myself were the only ones to embark in the 
 enterprise. 
 
 Mabel's weakness had entirely vanished. Her 
 cheeks were flushed with triumph, and she looked 
 capable of working a tread-mill if necessary ; in 
 fact, I will say of Mabel right here that she was 
 never lacking, either in willingness or animation, 
 when a friendly act was to be performed. 
 
 Dolly Martin was a girl with whom one could 
 not fail to become speedily acquainted ; and before 
 we had completed our tour of sight-seeing, I found 
 myself calling her "Dolly," and chatting with her 
 as familiarly as though we had gone to school 
 together. Fancy calling the " ogress " Dolly on 
 first acquaintance! 
 
 This undeserved title, by the way, was dropped, 
 never to be resurrected save in jest, after that first 
 day. 
 
 By a species of freemasonry, I recognized in hers 
 a spirit kindred to our plan, and was anxious to 
 have her join us, which she did, her sister and her-
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 83 
 
 self becoming cooperators on the succeeding Satur- 
 day, and proving very desirable additions to our 
 camp. 
 
 When the two weeks' visit of Burr was drawing 
 to a close, he took me aside one day and said : 
 
 " Brooksy, old chap, my visit is almost over." 
 
 " Well, all you have to do is to lengthen it," I 
 replied cordially. 
 
 " To tell the truth," said he, " the place suits me 
 so well, and I'm so fond of your society" ' or Vi 
 Reefer's,' I interlarded "that, if you have no objec- 
 tion, I should like to enlist as a regular cooperator 
 and spend the summer with you." 
 
 " I wouldn't ask for a better one," I replied 
 heartily ; and so another and very desirable addi- 
 tion was made to the regular army. 
 
 One magnificent moonlight night the kind they 
 manufacture especially for lovers and sportsmen 
 Burr and Vi started off for a moonlight ramble on 
 the beach, and, apparently, found each other's 
 society very engrossing, or the moonlight very 
 attractive, for they failed to put in an appearance 
 at the house until eleven o'clock. It happened 
 that every one felt sleepy that night and retired 
 early, so I was compelled to keep a solitary vigil,
 
 84 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 and wait till Burr's watch, or as I finally began 
 to fear the sunrise, should warn the missing 
 couple that it was time to return, and give me a 
 chance to close the house up. 
 
 If there is anything that makes a man feel 
 lonely, it is sitting up alone in a house full of 
 sleepers, hearing their occasional snores and 
 devoutly wishing he could play an accompaniment. 
 
 For a while, I solaced myself with a novel, but 
 this finally palled upon me, and then I tried soli- 
 taire ; the obstinate cards persisted in coming out 
 wrong, and I gave up trying to make them come 
 out right, in disgust. 
 
 By this time I was in a slightly irritable mood, 
 and when the delinquents finally deigned to return, 
 I greeted them with : 
 
 " What in the name of common sense did you 
 find to do all this time ; were you trying to catch 
 moon-beams ? " Whereupon their countenances 
 assumed a decidedly sheepish expression, and, like a 
 Sunday-school class reciting the catechism, they 
 replied in chorus : 
 
 " We were watching the tide come 
 in." 
 
 " Then you have performed a phenomenal feat,
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 85 
 
 and one which will, I know, astonish our friends," 
 I replied dryly; "for the tide has been running 
 out for the last five hours." 
 
 The absurdity of their excuse, taken in connec- 
 tion with actual existing facts, was too much for 
 the gravity of all three, and we roared with 
 laughter until an uneasy snore from above warned 
 us that the joke was liable, if too loudly enjoyed, 
 to meet with an entirely different sort of appre- 
 ciation. 
 
 Vi escaped blushingly to her room under cover of 
 our laughter, though I managed to express a hope 
 that her happiness would never be at as low an 
 ebb as the tide was then, and Burr urged me not 
 to betray the mistake they had made, and render 
 Vi and himself a butt for the laughter of the 
 household. There was considerable reason in this 
 petition, for the cooperators were keen after jokes 
 of every description, and if they got hold of any- 
 thing against you, put you through a severe inquisi- 
 tion before they dropped it. I wouldn't promise 
 secrecy in this case, but finally agreed to confide 
 it only to Mrs. B. I can swear that I kept my 
 word, and yet, somehow, the cat must have escaped 
 from the bag, for if you asked any inmate of the
 
 86 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 Castle for a week after that evening, what he or 
 she proposed doing, the inevitable answer was : 
 
 " Going to watch the tide come in." 
 
 One of the disastrous results of that evening 
 was, that May Hill wig decided it was best for 
 naughty Vi to retire when she did; and as she 
 believed in fortifying herself for the winter by 
 retiring early in summer, this arrangement was by 
 no means satisfactory either to Vi or Burr. 
 
 I watched the latter curiously, for I knew him 
 to be fertile in resorts, tenacious of having his own 
 way, and felt convinced that Mrs. Hillwig would 
 be outwitted before she got through. 
 
 And sure enough she was. 
 
 Mary Cecilia came down one morning with the 
 breathless intelligence that men had been sleep- 
 ing in one of the hammocks, and that one of them, 
 whom she graphically described as a " vilyun in a 
 battered hat," had tried the windows and doors 
 after every one had retired, and nothing but fear 
 of "being murthered intirely," had prevented her 
 from giving an alarm 
 
 The result of this announcement was considera- 
 ble bravado while daylight lasted, and a pitiable 
 weakening among the ladies when the night fell.
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 8/ 
 
 " By sitting up late, and talking around the 
 grounds," said Burr, "they will be persuaded there 
 are too many of us, and that we are too watchful 
 to make burglary a safe enterprise, and they will 
 seek a better operating ground." This was 
 enough to afford me the clue, and I knew in an 
 instant, who was the thief. 
 
 Burr's remark did not fall on sterile ground, and 
 late hours became the rule with the household, 
 Mrs. Hillwig included, which gave the young 
 couple an opportunity for resuming their evening 
 rambles they were by no means slow to seize 
 upon. 
 
 It is needless to say that Burr had planned and 
 executed the entire attempt at burglary himself. 
 Donning an old suit, inside out, and a battered hat, 
 he had held an imaginary conversation with imag- 
 inary pals in the hammock, tried the doors and 
 windows under Mary Cecilia's eyes, fully conscious 
 she was watching him, and then, entering the 
 house through a window beyond the range of her 
 vision, had reached his chamber unsuspected. His 
 judiciously-timed remark about the advisability of 
 sitting up late, completed the plot and fully accom- 
 plished the objett he had in view. I suppose such
 
 88 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 an attack on the peace of mind of the household 
 should have been betrayed at once, but I hadn't 
 the heart to do it, though I made the perpetrator 
 stipulate, as a condition of my silence, that he 
 would not be guilty of any more such antics with- 
 out first submitting them to me for approval. 
 
 It was very evident that Burr and Vi were 
 rapidly drifting into the harbor of love, and I 
 watched their case with great interest, and won- 
 dered whether they would land their bark without 
 the excitement of a single storm. I almost hoped 
 not, for I felt that such a tame courtship would 
 not be a pleasant thing to look back upon. 
 
 One of the land-marks of my own engagement 
 that stands out prominently to this day, is the 
 time when Mrs. B. Polly Drexel then and I made 
 up our minds that nothing short of an elopement 
 would ever see us united, and I even went so far 
 as to interview a minister, when the storm blew 
 over and the plan was relinquished. 
 
 I need not have feared in the case of the young 
 couple under discussion, for there were plenty of 
 breakers in store for them, as the sequel will show, 
 and the course of true love was about to run rough. 
 Mrs. B, and I knew by this time that the cooper-
 
 THE ADVENT OF THE OGRESS. 89 
 
 ative plan, so far as reducing expenses was con- 
 cerned, was a failure, and with our own peculiar 
 adaptability, had reconciled ourselves to the inevi- 
 table. Perfect harmony prevailed among our 
 friends, and no one spared an effort to make our 
 burden light ; the Hillwigs were especially kind 
 and sympathetic, and did much towards keeping 
 up our spirits.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 "THERE'S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE." 
 
 BURR came up from the pavilion one after- 
 noon with such a broad smile illuminating 
 his countenance, that I scented mischief from 
 afar, and hailed him for an explanation. 
 
 " Brooksy, it's the hugest thing on record; " and 
 that inevitable chuckle of his bore such ample 
 witness to his enjoyment of the " hugest thing," 
 that I begged him to cease laughing and plunge 
 at once in medias res, as Caesar forever observes 
 in his Commentaries. 
 
 Even the Latin failed to sober him, though I can 
 bear witness that it had sobered both of us often 
 enough in the old college days, when, after spend- 
 ing the night in carousal, as is too frequently the 
 case in our colleges, we awoke with swelled heads 
 and just found time to run over the day's exercise 
 with a pony during " chapel," before we were sub- 
 jected to the keen intellect of old Professor John- 
 go
 
 " THERE S A LETTER IX THE CANDLE. 9! 
 
 son, who seemed to scent a pony as quickly and 
 unerringly as a rat does toasted cheese. 
 
 His hilarity subsiding at last, however, from pure 
 lack of fuel to maintain it, Burr consented to sat- 
 isfy my curiosity. 
 
 " You see," he began, " I was sitting at a table 
 down at the pavilion, imbibing a glass of cooling 
 soda and lazily contemplating a bath in the briny, 
 when an old-time country farmer who was seated 
 at the next table to me with his daughter a rather 
 tidy-looking girl, though lacking chic turned on 
 me so suddenly that for one moment I dreaded a 
 scene ; for, out of pure idleness, I had been ogling 
 the girl a trifle, and I thought, you know, it was a 
 case of irate parent and all that sort of thing. 
 But no ; his intent was peaceful, and he addressed 
 me after this fashion : 
 
 " ' Stranger, will you take keer of my darter while 
 I go deown to the shed and see my hoss is fod- 
 dered ? My name's Morrison, and hern's Miss 
 Morrison, and I guess it ain't safe to leave her 
 unpretected when thar's so many infernal fules 
 areound.' 
 
 " This remarkable address nearly capsized my 
 gravity, but wHen I looked in the clear honest
 
 92 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 face of the speaker, and thought of the confidence 
 he reposed in me, I give you my word, old man, 
 every particle of laugh went out, and I took the 
 place he vacated with all the gravity of a judge 
 on the bench. 
 
 "Picture to yourself the situation : your venerable 
 friend Wilbur Curtis constituted guardian pro tern. 
 of an interesting blue-eyed country-girl scarcely 
 out of her teens, and bound in honor not only to 
 protect her against others, but even to forego the 
 ecstatic pleasure of a mild flirtation with her him- 
 self. To add to the embarrassing features of the 
 situation, the haughty Mrs. Chevalier Clayton 
 happened, by some devilish freak of fate, to be at 
 the pavilion. In passing, she must have noticed 
 the incongruity between myself and companion, 
 for she sailed by without recognition and with the 
 freezing hauteur of a Clara Vere de Vere on stilts. 
 Of course she will report all over the city that I 
 keep company with questionable females, and I 
 shall be tabooed by all dowagers with marriageable 
 daughters in the market though perhaps that's a 
 saving grace. Would you believe it, old boy ? that 
 ward of mine, whom, in the absence of her rightful 
 guardian, I was obliged to hold as holy as though
 
 " THERE S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE. 93 
 
 ' sheltered by the wings of sacred Rome/ made 
 eyes to hook me ! " 
 
 " In the name of all that's perishable," I cried, 
 looking around for a missile, " drop your execrable 
 punning ! " 
 
 "All right, my cherub; don't shoot," said Burr, 
 and went on with his narrative. 
 
 "Well, it came out that my protegee was a 
 school-marm, and if her pupils aren't well up in 
 the art of love, why, she must keep one style for 
 pleasure and another for business ; that is all I can 
 say. She worked so desperately for a flirtation, 
 that, by Jove ! when the old gentleman returned and 
 straightway fell sound asleep in his chair, thus reliev- 
 ing me of my guardianship and practically of his 
 existence at one and the same time, I fear I went 
 a little way towards gratifying her. At all events, 
 when we parted she squeezed my hand softly, and 
 looking up at me sentimentally, said we should 
 meet again ; that the stars had said it by tele- 
 phone, probably and that her prophetic soul 
 endorsed those shining sibyls. This brought me to 
 my senses like a shower-bath of ice-water ; how- 
 ever, I swore I was an Englishman on a visit to 
 America, hired a boat and returned home via the
 
 94 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 river, so I don't think there's much danger of 
 by the gods that rule Olympus ! " he shouted so 
 suddenly that my chair nearly capsized and sent 
 me sprawling on the piazza, " there she is now ! " 
 and he dived precipitately into the parlor. 
 
 Looking down the road, I saw a buggy drawn by 
 a sedate and time-worn horse coming up from the 
 pavilion, and there, sure enough, were the old man 
 and daughter of Burr's narrative. The latter was 
 very pretty, and I thought his description had 
 scarcely done her justice. Whether they had 
 witnessed Burr's rapid exodus, and recognized 
 their companion of the afternoon, it was impossible 
 to say. 
 
 But the old gentleman drew rein and called 
 out: 
 
 " Dew you keep boarders, Cap'n ? " 
 
 On my assuring him to the contrary, he chir- 
 ruped his nag, and he and his charming " darter " 
 vanished from the scene 
 
 Burr made me swear by all things on the earth 
 and under the earth, that I would hold his confi- 
 dence sacred, and on my advising him to tell Vi, 
 ejaculated : 
 
 "Why in thunder should I tell her?" but I
 
 "THERE'S A LETTER ix THE CANDLE." 95 
 
 noticed that the "her" came out as tenderly as a 
 mother's kiss. 
 
 Of course there was nothing more to say after 
 that, and I promised to respect his wishes, but I 
 felt instinctively that trouble would follow in the 
 train of that afternoon's indiscretion. 
 
 For a week, Burr was like one haunted by a 
 ghost, and I laughed in my sleeve at the ingenuity 
 with which he dodged all efforts to get him down 
 to the pavilion ; but at the end of that time he 
 seemed to feel completely reassured, and went 
 around as of old. 
 
 The tender understanding between Vi and him- 
 self seemed constantly on the increase. They had 
 no eyes for any one else, and, altogether, had 
 reached that selfish stage of love when the world 
 holds but two. 
 
 In the middle of July we were obliged to say 
 farewell to the Hillwigs ; and though we had 
 known from the first that they were going at that 
 time, their departure exercised none the less a 
 saddening effect upon the remaining cooperators. 
 It was like sitting down to dinner and finding that 
 one's pet tooth had dropped out. 
 
 They felt as badly at going as we did at losing
 
 96 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 them ; but May Hillwig's health required at least a 
 month of mountain air every summer; and with 
 many final farewells and a promise to return in the 
 fall, they drove slowly and sadly away, while the 
 flag was lowered to half-mast for the day, which 
 created considerable excitement, and caused the 
 pavilion to follow suit, under the impression that 
 some one of note had passed away. 
 
 Vi and Mrs. B. had become bosom friends long 
 before this, and while the Hill wigs' departure was 
 still a thing of the future, Vi had written to her 
 mother and obtained permission to become a coop- 
 erator, provided Mrs. B. would act as chaperone. 
 This she gladly promised ; and Vi became a duly 
 admitted member of the society, with the plaintive 
 question : 
 
 " You won't be very, very awfully severe with 
 your little Vi, will you, Polly ? " 
 
 We couldn't refrain from laughing as we com- 
 pared Burr's case with Vi's, and traced the similar- 
 ity between them ; both wanted to stay because 
 they found our society so intoxicatingly sweet. 
 
 The time hung heavy on our hands for some 
 time after the lopping off of the Hillwig branch of 
 the tree, and the days passed so quietly that we
 
 "THERE'S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE." 97 
 
 began to long for some excitement to break the 
 monotony, when all at once it came, and didn't 
 prove very enjoyable for some of the party, at 
 least. 
 
 " Letters ! letters ! " cried Vi one morning, in 
 would-be imitation of the regular official's growl, 
 making a charming postmistress, with her dancing 
 eyes and rosy cheeks flushed with her run to the 
 gate and back. 
 
 " One for you, Polly, one for Dolly Martin, 
 directed, I blush to say, in a man's handwriting, 
 and three for Wilbur Curtis, Esq. One of the 
 latter is directed to ' Mr. Curtis, OF Maple Grove,' 
 and I should advise you, Burr, to request your cor- 
 respondent when she writes again to give you the 
 title which runs with the estate." 
 
 " That's remarkable," said Burr carelessly. " I'd 
 advise you to read it, Vi, and see if the kernel is 
 equal to the shell." 
 
 " Do you mean it ? " she answered. 
 
 " I would say so if I didn't," he rejoined with a 
 tender glance in her direction, and I could see that 
 the enamored youth was looking forward to the 
 time when all their, letters would become common 
 property, and everything be delightfully intermin-
 
 98 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 gled. This was very pretty, of course ; but there 
 is such a thing as being premature, and when he 
 so lightly advised Viola Reefer to read that letter, , 
 he was simply rushing, head-on, to his doom. 
 
 She read it very quietly, and the rest were too 
 much occupied in their own correspondence to pay 
 attention ; but I happened to be looking at her, 
 and I saw the rosy flush die slowly out of her 
 cheeks, and the merry light leave her eyes until it 
 seemed as though the soul of mirth which was wont 
 to illumine them had faded out forever. 
 
 " Your correspondent has a rare talent for letter- 
 writing, Mr. Curtis ; shall I read her epistle 
 aloud?" 
 
 " If you wish," said he wonderingly, still blind 
 to the fact that something unusual had happened. 
 He started, though, when Vi called him by his 
 last name, for they had been Burr and Vi with 
 each other for some time. One of the advantages 
 of cooperation was that first names came very 
 easy. 
 
 Our curiosity was aroused by this time, and we 
 listened with mingled mirth and interest while Vi, 
 in a clear, ringing voice, almost as though she were 
 giving a recitation, read the following :
 
 " THERE S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE. 99 
 
 MR. CURTIS Dear Sir : I venture to pen this epistle to you, 
 with a feeling in my heart that it will receive a kindly welcome at 
 your hands, and not be carelessly thrown aside and forgotten. 
 Shall I tell you whom I am, or does your throbbing heart reveal 
 my identity to you without the need of words ? I am the young 
 lady with whom you spent such a pleasant afternoon at your pavil- 
 ion whose character you read so flatteringly, saying that the artist 
 who painted my eyes must have dipped his pencil in the sky. 
 Your words, ' There is an affinity between us,' have haunted me 
 like echoes of the angels ever since that blissful hour. I am sure 
 that your character is noble as your eyes are magnificent. Will 
 you write to poor little me, and honor me with your friendship ? 
 I know your letters will help me to reach a higher plane, for, like 
 Portia, I am ' happy in this. I am not yet so old but I may learn, 
 and happier than this, I am not bred so dull but I can learn. 
 Happiest of all, in that my spirit commits itself to yours to be 
 directed.' While your life floats happily and carelessly along, 
 like a chip on the crested wave of ocean, /am compelled to toil 
 life's pilgrimage away. Seventy-two little minds to teach, and a 
 course of study to pursue. Think what a balm, then, your letters 
 will be to my troubled spirit, and write to your may I say ' kin- 
 dred soul ?' F. B. 
 
 POST-OFFICE, CHATHAM, N. Y. 
 
 " Ye gods and little fishes ! " exclaimed Burr at 
 the conclusion of this remarkable specimen of 
 literature. 
 
 "I wouldn't be profane towards the heathen 
 deities and water -residents, Mr. Curtis," said Vi, 
 handing him the letter ; " I can assure you that the
 
 IOO POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 kernel of your epistle fully atones for any short- 
 comings in the shell." 
 
 Poor Burr! His little adventure at the pavilion 
 had proven too expensive for what it brought, and 
 as I contrasted the hilarity which had almost 
 strangled him when he told me about the " hugest 
 thing," with the lugubrious countenance produced 
 by that fatal missive, I was reminded of one of those 
 pictorial advertisements of a patent medicine ; the 
 illustration consisting of two faces labelled respect- 
 ively, " Before " and " After ; " the one represent- 
 ing the patient as about to topple into the grave, 
 the other exhibiting him as having been pulled 
 back from that undesirable brink. 
 
 Outsiders are proverbially cruel and exasperat- 
 ing where love-making is concerned, and it was a 
 long time before the inmates of the Castle would 
 allow that letter to drop into oblivion. They seemed 
 to look upon it as coming under the heading of 
 "cooperative," and treated it as public property. 
 
 The parlor door was converted into a bulletin- 
 board, and poor Burr was constantly treated to 
 epistles of a mock-tender nature, directed to " Mr. 
 Curtis, OF Maple Grove," and sketches labelled 
 "Portia," "Seventy-two little minds," "Angel
 
 " THERE S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE. IOI 
 
 echoes," "A chip on the crested wave of ocean," 
 etc., until he seriously contemplated leaving, and only 
 refrained from going because he hoped that time 
 might bring about a reconciliation between Vi and 
 himself. 
 
 Not that she had quarreled with him, by any 
 means! He would not have minded that so much; 
 but she simply treated him as she would any 
 ordinary summer acquaintance, entirely ignoring 
 the fact of their ever having been anytKing else. 
 
 " Let me play peace-maker, old man," I urged, 
 " and explain the whole affair to her ! " for Burr is my 
 chum, and his interests are, I swear, very nearly 
 as dear to me as my own. 
 
 " It wouldn't do any good," he groaned ; " I tried 
 that : told her I wanted to give her an explanation 
 of that rascally letter, and all she said was, that 
 though she thought it was strange I should select 
 her, still if I wanted a confidant, one to whom 
 I could confide all my little love passages 
 and receive sympathy and congratulation, she 
 was quite willing to accept the r61e ; and when 
 I asked her to go down to the pavilion last night, 
 she said it was out of the question, because she 
 had 'a course of study to pursue.'"
 
 IO2 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 I acknowledged that his case was a hard one, 
 but urged him to brace up and trust to time and 
 chance to bring about a better understanding, at 
 the same time mentally resolving to tell Mrs. B. 
 the whole affair and solicit her aid. 
 
 When I put this resolve into execution, I found 
 her so exceedingly non-committal that it was 
 evident she had ranged herself as Vi's ally, and I 
 was all the more resolved to make the other side 
 hoist the ffag of truce. 
 
 I made Burr pay sedulous attention to Dolly 
 Martin, with a view to making Vi jealous; but she 
 was as indifferent as an oyster, and it was clear 
 our little ruse de guerre had been penetrated. 
 
 Meanwhile, Burr went around like the knight of 
 the rueful countenance, and I taxed him with try- 
 ing to play the melancholy Dane, and told him 
 right up and down that if he wanted to make Vi 
 Reefer keep up her nonsense interminably, he was 
 going the right way about it. 
 
 About this time Mabel Irving created a decided 
 diversion, and added another to the many events 
 of the summer. 
 
 Irving had been down on the beach for a stroll, 
 and happening to come across a live horseshoe,
 
 "THERE'S A LETTER IN THE CANDLE." 103 
 
 brought it up to the house in triumph, thinking it 
 would amuse the ladies. 
 
 He put it down on the carpet, not mentioning 
 that it was alive, and the ladies all gathered around 
 to look at it, taking it for an empty shell, when 
 suddenly the monster began to tumble around 
 after the awkward fashion of its kind. Of course 
 they were all startled, but Mabel carried her terror 
 to excess in her love of scenes, and rushing for a 
 chair, mounted it, and seating herself on the back, 
 exclaimed : 
 
 " Will Irving, how could you bring such a mon- 
 ster in the house ! It might crawl up our dresses ! " 
 
 The absurdity of a horseshoe crawling up a 
 lady's dress, sent us into roars of laughter, when 
 suddenly the inoffensive creature made another 
 move, and with a shriek, Mabel threw up her 
 hands, and she and the chair went over backwards 
 together. 
 
 We made a simultaneous rush and picked her up 
 more frightened than hurt fortunately, although two 
 hours afterwards, as she lay at length on the sofa, she 
 answered our sympathetic questions as to how she 
 felt with a " Pretty well, thank you," that would 
 have drawn tears from a rattlesnake.
 
 IO4 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 The following morning the bulletin-board, which 
 had now become a regular institution, held two 
 sketches ; one representing a horseshoe of mam- 
 moth proportions trying to crawl up a lady's 
 dress, the other a falling chair with a female turn- 
 ing a back-summersault over it, while the horse- 
 shoe stood on his tail in the background, vigor- 
 ously clapping a pair of mythical hands.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. 
 
 MRS. B. and I were in sole and undisputed 
 possession of the Castle. 
 
 The rest of the household, even including the 
 Mullaney family, were gathered on the outskirts 
 of the grove watching the eccentricities of a party 
 of country folk who were holding a picnic there. 
 
 We were buried deep in grocers' and butchers' 
 books whose startling array of figures, whenever 
 they came actively beneath our notice, always put 
 cooperation in its worst light, when suddenly, in 
 the midst of our perplexities and worries, a carriage 
 drove up to the door and a youth of the extremest 
 swell pattern descended from it, jauntily swinging 
 a large leather valise in his hand and looking 
 around as critically as though he had a mortgage 
 on the place and had come to foreclose it. Under 
 the impression that he had made a mistake, I went 
 forward to meet him and put him right. 
 
 105
 
 106 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 " Is this the Brooks House ? " he called out. 
 
 " Mr. and Mrs. Brooks reside here," I responded 
 with freezing Jiauteur, for I was, I confess, consid- 
 erably nettled by the young man's free-and-easy 
 style of salutation. 
 
 " It's the same thing," he responded languidly. 
 "That'll do, driver," flipping him a trade dollar, 
 and the carriage rolled away in the distance, while 
 that astonishing specimen of the jeunesse dorte 
 sauntered as naturally and easily into the parlor as 
 a fly into a spider web, plumped his valise down 
 in the middle of the floor, and, remarking that it 
 was hot, lifted a fancy fan from its nail on the wall, 
 dropped into an easy-chair and commenced fan- 
 ning himself and taking an inventory of our 
 belongings. 
 
 The situation was novel and peculiar, not to say 
 exasperating. 
 
 Here was an exquisite youth of slender build 
 and ditto moustache, whom we had never seen 
 before, taking possession of our Castle with all the 
 sang froid of a sheriff with a warrant, while we 
 sat looking at him despairingly, and wondered 
 what his next move would be. 
 
 His personal appearance assuredly merited the
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. IO/ 
 
 adjective "crushing," if ever get-up earned that 
 high qualification. He wore plaid pants, a six-but- 
 ton cut-away coat, a crimson necktie ; his shirt and 
 cuffs and collar were over-running with miniature 
 horseshoes, and as he fanned himself he perfumed 
 the entire apartment with violet perfume, in 
 which we speedily decided he must have recently 
 taken a bath, and become saturated with all sweeter 
 qualities of the little flower save its modesty. 
 
 We had just leisure to take in these details, 
 when he remarked languidly and easily : 
 
 " I want to see Miss Martin." 
 
 " She's out," I replied shortly, though a faint 
 glimmer of understanding came to me with his 
 observation. 
 
 "Well! it's of no consequence," with a yawn. 
 " If you'll just call some one to show me a room, 
 and carry my baggage up-stairs, I believe I'll rag 
 for dinner." 
 
 "How long do you propose to remain?" I in- 
 quired sarcastically. 
 
 " Oh, as long as I can stand the hash." 
 
 This was carrying things a little too far with 
 a vengeance. 
 
 "My friend," I remarked, "will you kindly
 
 io8 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 inform me what has misled you into the delusion 
 of taking this house for a tavern ? " 
 
 " Oh, I see ! " he mumbled; "won't accommodate 
 transients, eh ? " 
 
 " Or a boarding-house of any description ? " I 
 thundered, provoked at his lack of comprehension. 
 
 " By Jupiter ! " he exclaimed, reddening up to 
 his ears. " You don't mean to say this is a private 
 residence, do you ? " 
 
 " Phenomenal and abnormal as that fact may 
 seem, and difficult as it appears to be for your 
 obtuse and restricted mental faculties to grasp a 
 thorough comprehension of its bearings, that is 
 just what I wish to remark ; and I think I may add 
 with Bret Harte, 'that my language is plain.' ' 
 
 " Don't Miss Martin board er,reside er here ? " 
 he asked in a bewildered sort of way, as though he 
 was almost afraid to ask any further information. 
 
 " She certainly does." And then pitying his 
 confusion, and realizing that he was the victim of 
 some mistake, I proceeded to sketch for his benefit 
 the outlines of our plan, and explain how the Mar- 
 tin girls were living with us. 
 
 Then he in his turn entered upon an explanation. 
 It appeared that Dolly Martin had written to him
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. ICX) 
 
 that she war, spending the summer at Maple Grove 
 Castle, and, not being fond of lengthening her 
 letters with details, had entirely omitted to state 
 how. He, in consequence, took it for granted she 
 was boarding, and made up his mind to surprise 
 her by spending his two weeks' vacation in the 
 same house with her. As a surprise his arrival 
 was an indubitable success, though it didn't go off 
 exactly according to his expectations. 
 
 He concluded his explanation with such a string 
 of apologies and manifested such feeling over his 
 blunder, that, finding he was a decent sort of fellow 
 after all, we forgave him. 
 
 All the time we were talking he was evidently 
 screwing up his courage, for he moved about 
 uneasily on his chair, and finally asked if he might 
 come under the plan for a couple of weeks, or if 
 first impressions had debarred him from that 
 pleasure. He was assured to the contrary, and 
 the name of Emile Mortimer was added to the 
 muster-roll. 
 
 Presently our new arrival had the felicity of see- 
 ing Burr and Dojly return from the grove together 
 to all appearance deeply interested in each 
 other whileViand the rest strolled leisurely along
 
 IIO POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 in the rear, and from the ugly scowl which mantled 
 his countenance at the sight, it began to look as 
 though we were on the road to fresh disasters. 
 Dolly's unfeigned surprise and delight at seeing 
 him, however, soon smoothed out the wrinkles and 
 he smiled all over with contentment. 
 
 Emile Mortimer was one of the most extraordi- 
 nary individuals I ever met on the thorny path- 
 ways of life. He proved the " character " of the 
 summer, and was destined before he left to give 
 us an entirely new sensation. One of his peculiar- 
 ities was to misquote poetry in season and out of 
 season, and then attribute it to some author 
 who would have blushed to own it even in the 
 original. 
 
 He startled us with a specimen of this the first 
 evening of his arrival. We were all sitting on the 
 piazza admiring the beautiful outlines of a ship as 
 she sailed slowly and majestically through the pale 
 rays of the moon, when he observed suddenly : 
 
 " By Jove ! as Moore says, she looks like 
 
 1 A ship that's been painted on the ocean. ' " 
 
 Good breeding required that we should all have 
 a violent attack of coughing, which he uncon- 
 sciously added to by innocently inquiring if we
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. I I I 
 
 didn't think we were catching cold by sitting out- 
 side after sunset. 
 
 The most casual observer could not fail to per- 
 ceive that Emile Mortimer was deeply and desper- 
 ately in the throes of love for chubby little Dolly 
 Martin, and it was equally evident that his love 
 was hopeless, and that the flames which were con- 
 suming him had failed to create a responsive con- 
 flagration ; for while Dolly treated him with the 
 utmost friendliness, there were certainly no mani- 
 festations on her part which could be construed 
 into love's witnesses, and she was certainly not 
 allowing concealment to prey on her damask cheek. 
 
 Dolly's weakness, however, was driving, and her 
 luckless swain finding that the only spot where he 
 could secure her undivided society was behind a 
 horse, squandered more money on buggies during 
 his stay than I am confident his exchequer would 
 admit of without heavy djafts on his necktie fund. 
 
 He was by no means reticent about his affairs, 
 and must have made a confidant of every occupant 
 of the Castle, including the Mullaney family ; for in 
 three days afte* his arrival, his love-suit was as 
 freely canvassed as the weather, from the parlor to 
 the kitchen.
 
 112 POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 Vi and Burr were as far apart as ever, and Cupid 
 must have enjoyed the mess his pranks had created 
 in the Castle. How pleasant it would have been 
 for all concerned at this juncture, if he could have 
 been induced to put on the flowery yoke of cooper- 
 ation, instead of standing aloof as an outsider, and 
 occasionally sending an arrow with sufficient force 
 to make the target quiver, but always a little wide 
 of the centre ! 
 
 Entanglements of the most trying and ridiculous 
 nature were brought about by the various emo- 
 tions which throbbed in the bosoms of our inter- 
 esting quartet, until it seemed as though the 
 skein was snarled beyond unravelling. 
 
 Mortimer was advised to try the effect of mak- 
 ing Dolly jealous, by playing attentive to Vi, and, 
 being an easily persuaded youth, he started in at it 
 with all the zeal of an impulsive nature, finding Vi 
 quite ready to meet him half way. The jealousy 
 was duly forthcoming, but, alas ! had not its source 
 in Dolly's gentle bosom. Burr, however, became 
 furious, and declared if that little cad thought, be- 
 cause he had a Saratoga trunk full of neckties he 
 could play any games on him, he'd better look out 
 for squalls. My advice, as usual, was for tit-for-tat
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. 113 
 
 proceedings, and Burr took Dolly out buggy-riding. 
 This fitted the boot nicely on the other leg, and 
 the scion of the house of Mortimer in turn waxed 
 wroth and called out after them that he hoped the 
 horse wouldn't run away, to which Burr responded 
 witheringly that next time he would see there was 
 a seat up behind for Mortimer, so that he might be 
 on hand in case his services were required. There 
 was so much flashing of powder that there was 
 cause for dread lest blank cartridges should speedily 
 become too mild to suit the temper of the belliger- 
 ents ; and as a last effort to preserve the peace, I 
 took occasion to have a talk with Dolly and put 
 before her forcibly the unfairness of her conduct in 
 leaving a poor fellow out in the cold when he came 
 up from New York especially to be with her, suc- 
 ceeding at length in persuading her to favor her 
 admirer with her society and smiles. 
 
 This foreign interference, however, while it 
 brought about the desired cessation of hostilities, 
 was not productive of good results for Mortimer, 
 for the poor fellow mistaking the attention which 
 Dolly paid him as a duty for the dawning of a feel- 
 ing on her part reciprocal to his own passion for 
 her, became proportionately elated, and one Satur-
 
 ii4 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 day afternoon solicited the pleasure of her society 
 for a walk in the grove in such a conscious manner 
 that we exchanged smiles all around, and felt con- 
 vinced that the momentous question was about to 
 be propounded. 
 
 When Dolly returned to the house alone about 
 an hour afterward, half laughing and half crying, 
 nothing further was needed to confirm our conject- 
 ures and also to indicate pretty conclusively that 
 the young Lothario had had his hopes very effect- 
 ually blasted. 
 
 That eventful evening Emile Mortimer failed to 
 put in an appearance at dinner ; and Dolly very 
 naturally became the cynosure of all eyes in con- 
 sequence of his defection. She studied her plate, 
 however, so perseveringly that Burr asked : 
 
 " Which is it, Dolly, majolica or faience ? " 
 
 To which she replied irrelevantly : 
 
 "I'm sure I don't know. I haven't seen him 
 since this afternoon," which created a hearty laugh 
 at her expense. 
 
 Some one suggested that he had gone to the 
 blacksmith's to have his shirt reshod, which palpa- 
 ble hit at that horseshoe shirt pattern was greeted 
 with wild applause and promptly written down in
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. 11$ 
 
 the Maple Grove log, a nautical institution for the 
 reception of jokes which I have heretofore omitted 
 to mention. 
 
 About eight o'clock that evening one of the 
 balmiest of the summer when we were all sitting 
 on the piazza., Burr, as usual, manoeuvring to get 
 near Vi, and only succeeding in being well snubbed 
 for his pains, we saw some one sauntering slowly 
 up from the pavilion in such zig-zag fashion that Vi 
 appropriately quoted : 
 
 " There was a crooked man, 
 And he walked a crooked mile." 
 
 To which Burr added : 
 
 " And he found some crooked whiskey 
 And took a crooked smile," 
 
 which brilliant piece of originality had just time 
 to be appreciated when a nearer approach of the 
 subject of our rhymes revealed to our astonished 
 eyes the ultra-refined, double-distilled exquisite, 
 Emile Mortimer. 
 
 Alas, how were the mighty fallen ! His dainty 
 Derby hat was en the back of his head ; his laven- 
 der tie was in confidential communication with his 
 ear ; in a word, disorder ruled omnipotent in his 
 dress and person. Such a complete metamorphosis
 
 1 1 6 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 had taken place in the appearance of our Beau 
 Brummel that I was moved to exclaim : 
 
 "'Tis Greece, but living Greece no more." 
 
 Instead of walking up the path and joining us, 
 he turned aside as he reached the house and sneaked 
 around to the other entrance. 
 
 Marveling greatly at his strange plight, Burr 
 and I murmured our excuses simultaneously and 
 went around to meet him. We found him sitting 
 despondently on the doorstep, in an attitude of 
 extinguished despair. Such complete hopelessness 
 as he betrayed knows but one parallel in history 
 Marius mourning over the ruins of Carthage. 
 Investigation proved, moreover, that he was wet : 
 he was more than wet he was sopping; and our 
 curiosity to learn the cause of this strange condi- 
 tion of being on a cloudless summer night, knew 
 no bounds. 
 
 " Why, what's the matter, old fellow ? " said Burr 
 sympathetically. " Have you been saving some one 
 from drowning ? " 
 
 "Yes," he answered sepulchrally; "myself. It 
 was no use; I couldn't stand the taste of the salt 
 water. You see the fact is, boys, my life being now 
 valueless to all, but most of all to myself, I thought to
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. I I/ 
 
 end it by a plunge ; but alas ! the water was cold and 
 tasted nasty, ugh! and somehow I couldn't finish 
 the business ; but I do not wish to survive, and so I 
 am sitting here to catch cold and die of consump- 
 tion." 
 
 We managed to keep our faces straight during 
 this tirade, for absurd as it seemed, there could be 
 no question but that the poor wretch was in 
 earnest and really wished to cross the Stygian 
 river. Burr especially, with his own troubles in 
 mind, could sympathize with the luckless swain, 
 and he it was that undertook to comfort him. 
 
 "Cheer up, Mortimer," he said; '"faint heart 
 ne'er won fair lady,' you know, and Dolly may yet 
 yield to your solicitations." 
 
 "Do you think so?" he cried, catching eagerly 
 at the straw ; and then shaking his head he 
 exclaimed mournfully : 
 
 " No ; death alone is left me." 
 
 To rally a man in such deep affliction is no easy 
 thing, but we finally succeeded in persuading him 
 to change his slothes, and in the course of half an 
 hour he reappeared gorgeously arrayed in a suit of 
 plaid clothes and an orange necktie, showing that 
 -the prevailing passion was strong even in the
 
 u8 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 throes of love's awful anguish. Dolly, to soften 
 down the effects of her refusal, was particularly 
 pleasant towards him that evening and he seemed 
 to have entirely recovered his spirits, for he laughed 
 and misquoted from the poets as frequently as 
 usual. 
 
 That night, however, Burr, whose room was 
 next to the one occupied by Mortimer, knocked 
 softly at my door and made me tiptoe up-stairs 
 with him. Together we listened outside Morti- 
 mer's door, and the style of soliloquy that reached 
 our ears would have been ridiculous if it had not 
 been so earnest. It ran this way : 
 
 " The fact is, Dolly doesn't love me and it's time 
 to die ; that's all there is about it. Now I've tried 
 drowning and I don't like it, so I'll take this pistol 
 and blow my brains out." Here his voice qua- 
 vered. " Yes, that's just what I'll do. It ought 
 to be a bare bodkin, but it isn't, so here goes ; it's 
 hard, but here goes, one, two " but the three was 
 never uttered, for Burr and I burst open the door, 
 and while I pinioned his arms, Burr took the pistol 
 from his nerveless hands and dropped it quietly 
 into a pitcher of water. I have my doubts whether 
 that pistol would at the last moment have been
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE. I IQ 
 
 put to the deadly use for which he intended it, 
 after all. At all events, he did not display any great 
 amount of anguish at being frustrated in his 
 attempt atfe/o de se, and said good-night as cheer- 
 fully as a clown cracking jokes at a circus. 
 
 His suicidal mania apparently gave out after the 
 failure of this second attempt, for, though he 
 remained with us a week, we had no further trouble 
 with him. 
 
 At the end of that time he took his departure, 
 and it was with a feeling of relief that we bade 
 him good-by. His coming had been bizarre, and 
 his going was welcome. 
 
 The morning after his departure the bulletin- 
 board recorded his virtues in an illustration repre- 
 senting a youth with eyes in a "fine frenzy rolling," 
 around him a rope, a well and a pistol, underneath 
 him the inscription, " Which ? "
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 PLOTS AND COUNTERPLOTS. 
 
 AH me ! but it's pretty rough on a fellow ! " 
 sighed Burr, as he baited his hook with a 
 fresh clam and threw his line languidly over the 
 side of the boat. 
 
 By a stretch of the imagination, we were sup- 
 posed to be fishing. In reality, he had been indus- 
 triously and charitably feeding the fish for the past 
 hour ; and once, when a two-pound black-fish had 
 been so foolish as to insist on sticking to his hook 
 in spite of every possible incentive to escape, he 
 had pulled him into the boat, and then sat there 
 watching his flurry with a nonchalant " Caught an- 
 other, have you, Brooksy ? " while he proceeded 
 with mechanical deliberation to bait my hook 
 which happened to be lying at his side. 
 
 " Yes, it's tough," I answered ; " but every lane 
 has a turning." 
 
 " Or an end. Spare me your platitudes. I 
 
 120
 
 PLOTS AND COUNTERPLOTS. 12 1 
 
 know their value in turning a conversation grace- 
 fully, but they aren't practical. That's the beauty 
 of your proverbs. They sound well, and that's all. 
 Vox et praterea nihil ! That infernal letter has 
 done more execution than a regiment of artillery 
 could do in a day's fighting. Vi fairly bristles with 
 quotations from it, and never misses an opportunity 
 of letting me have one full in the face. I asked 
 her this morning, for example, in desperation, why 
 she never looked at me any more, and all the satis- 
 faction I received was to have some more of that 
 wretched female's rubbish hurled at my head. She 
 said that unfortunately the artist who painted her 
 eyes hadn't ' dipped his pencil in the sky,' and 
 she supposed they didn't possess sufficient celestial 
 power to look into my ' magnificent ones ' without 
 being dazzled, but she trusted ' she was not bred so 
 dull ' but that she was able to appreciate my ' mag- 
 nificent character.' Now, how in the name of the 
 gods, is a fellow going to meet a battery like 
 that ? " 
 
 I confessed it was a poser ; but added that the 
 girl's very stand-offish-ness and brilliancy of repar- 
 tee but served to make her all the more worth the 
 winnins:.
 
 " rtang it, man ! x ou re a regular job s com- 
 forter," groaned Burr. " When you find the fruit's 
 out of my reach, there's no special necessity to 
 praise it's flavor, is there ? " 
 
 " Nonsense ! " I retorted. " If you can't reach 
 the fruit from the ground, get a ladder ; but never 
 give up trying." 
 
 Burr's only answer was a despondent groan. 
 
 How was this unfortunate misunderstanding 
 going to end ? I wondered with a vague dread creep- 
 ing over me at times that the ship was going to 
 founder spite of all my efforts. 
 
 Taxing Mrs. B. with being a promoter of the 
 mischief was as useless as trying to drink out of a 
 sieve. Polly is as good as gold, but where match- 
 making or match^br^aking are in question, it's 
 " hands off ! " and if you disobey the warning, why 
 they'll simply get burned. 
 
 I pondered and pondered over the matter until 
 my thinking faculties almost refused their office, 
 and was toppling over the verge of despair, when 
 all of a sudden an inspiration or what seemed 
 like one came. 
 
 I said nothing whatever to Burr, for my inspira- 
 tion was only to be put into existence as a last
 
 resort, and I still hoped that a reconciliation might 
 come about naturally. 
 
 In another month the break-up would come, and 
 cooperation with all its virtues and vices, would be 
 interred in the grave of the past, never more to be 
 resurrected. This was by no means a pleasant 
 prospect ; for we had become so knitted together 
 by living under one roof that we were like one fam- 
 ily, and parting would come very hard to us at first. 
 
 There seemed to be a general resolve through- 
 out the Castle, to make the last month, at any rate, 
 'a thing of beauty and a joy forever ; ' for one plan 
 after the other was devised and carried out with 
 vim, until it really seemed as though originality 
 must reach a climax. 
 
 One glorious moonlight night some one proposed 
 a midnight excursion to the grave-yard, distant 
 about three-quarters of a mile from the Castle, on 
 the village road, and as mad freaks had become the 
 order of the day and night too vociferous ap- 
 plause greeted the proposal, which was at once 
 adopted. 
 
 There happened to be two young fellows from 
 the city staying over Sunday with us the expedi- 
 tion took place on a Saturday night and as they
 
 were acquainted with the entire party, and could 
 see that the ladies were properly attended to, I 
 resolved, if possible, to get hold of Burr in the 
 grave-yard and make him a partner in my inspira- 
 tion ; for Vi was really snubbing the poor fellow 
 shamefully, and entering into pronounced flirtations 
 with all comers. 
 
 Burr carried such a serious, worried countenance 
 that I could hardly recognize the merry Wilbur 
 Curtis of old, and it was really time to put an end 
 to Vi's fun, if that feat could be accomplished. 
 Our cadaverous destination seemed to have no very 
 harrowing effect upon the party at starting. They 
 were as merry as a crew of ghouls and goblins on a 
 midsummer-night picnic. 
 
 As we began to near the resting-place of the 
 dead, however, and the moonlight turned the 
 tombstones into a ghastly, yellowish white, while 
 the wind soughed dismally, and, like departed spir- 
 its, through the branches overhead for the grave- 
 yard was almost a forest the songs died out, 
 in my opinion, nothing but the dread of ridi- 
 cule sustained the faltering footsteps of the ladies, 
 and kept them from abandoning the enterprise 
 then and there. At this juncture, Mabel Irving
 
 announced that she felt faint ; and this sounded so 
 of the earth, earthy, and so natural, withal, that it 
 revived the courage of the others, and they plunged 
 boldly into the city of the dead. 
 
 Vi alone was really fearless. 
 
 She said it was out of all question that she could 
 ever have injured any one whose clay was reposing 
 there, for she hadn't known them in life, and she 
 didn't see why she should fear them in death ; 
 indeed, she often branched off from the rest to 
 explore side-paths, and positively refused all 
 escortage. 
 
 As soon as the party were snugly settled on a 
 long bench before the monument of a village nota- 
 ble, telling ghost stories, I admonished Burr by a 
 pinch of the arm that I wanted to see him, and we 
 stole off under pretence of being afraid to listen to 
 their ghost stories ; indeed, so interested were the 
 rest in the horrors they were resurrecting from 
 their memories that I hardly think they noticed 
 our departure at all. 
 
 Seating ourselves on a grave at some little dis- 
 tance, I made an opportunity to tell Burr of my 
 latest plotting. 
 
 The inspiration which had come to me was that
 
 Burr must try the effect of temporary absence, but 
 it must have the appearance of being final. 
 
 My idea was that he could spend a week at the 
 Templeton House, a few miles down the coast, and 
 I would row over every day and report progress. 
 Of course the entire household must be made to 
 believe Mrs. B. inclusive that he had returned 
 to the city for good, and then we would see how 
 that little minx Viola Reefer, would relish his 
 desertion of her. 
 
 At this point Burr started to his feet, declaring 
 he heard some one laugh behind the tomb-stone 
 back of us. Investigation proved, however, that no 
 one was there, and I taxed him with being affected 
 by the influences of the place, and inclined to 
 superstition, though I confess that I too had a sort 
 of ringing sound in my ear, like the echo of a gob- 
 lin's laugh. 
 
 Burr wasn't very enthusiastic over my plan ; said 
 that he didn't believe the memory of that mischiev- 
 ous letter would ever sink into oblivion, and 
 finished up by declaring that if he were lying under 
 the sod, instead of sitting on it, he didn't believe it 
 would make the difference of a penny postage 
 stamp to Vi Reefer.
 
 At the same time he acknowledged that one 
 plan was as good as another, and he thought he 
 might as well try absence and see if it would have 
 any effect; it would be a diversion, anyhow, and 
 that was better than nothing. 
 
 Visions of success and matrimony flashed before 
 my eyes so sanguine is one in one's own machin- 
 ations and I lost no time in pressing upon him 
 the importance of arranging our plans at once, so 
 that no hitch might occur to mar them. 
 
 He was to give out the following morning that 
 he had decided to return to the city Monday, on 
 account of a law-suit he had coming on during the 
 week, and spite of all our urgings mine among 
 the rest was to stick to his resolution, and take 
 the train Monday morning to the next station, 
 whence he could be driven to the Templeton 
 House, where I would join him on the following 
 day and bring him back with me if the fruit had 
 ripened in the meanwhile. If, on the other hand, 
 Vi showed no signs of weakening, he was to sur- 
 prise her at the end of a week by a sudden 
 re-appearance into falling convulsively into his out- 
 stretched arms. 
 
 Just as this, the consummation so devoutly to be
 
 wished for, had been reached in theory we 
 were startled back to the actualities of life by a 
 loud and prolonged shriek, and leaping to our feet, 
 we rushed back to the place where we had left our 
 party, I in mortal terror, lest the commotion beto- 
 kened some accident to Mrs. B. and Burr equally 
 worried about Vi's welfare. 
 
 His anxiety about that little witch proved, how- 
 ever, to be entirely misplaced and groundless. 
 There stood the object of his keen solicitude, her 
 face glowing and smoking with the lurid light of 
 phosphorus, lines of the same diabolical compound 
 extending down the front breadths of her dress, 
 a white handkerchief bound around her head, point- 
 ing her mischievous finger at the occupants of the 
 bench, having, as we subsequently learned, timed 
 her saturnine appearance from behind a neighbor- 
 ing tombstone so that it chimed nicely with the 
 arrival of the ghost in the story which was under 
 narration. The effect of such an appearance on a 
 company of people already aroused to the highest 
 pitch of excitement and nervousness by their sur- 
 roundings, and the ghostly stories to which they 
 had been listening, can be easier imagined than 
 described. They were laughing nervously when
 
 we came up, and trying to affect a relish of the 
 joke, but the abject terror into which they had 
 been thrown by Vi's theatrical entree was easily 
 discernible on the pale, livid faces of men and 
 women alike ; and certainly such a sight in such a 
 place might well make the boldest shudder. By 
 this time the most exacting were satisfied that the 
 pleasures of grave-yard picnics had been drunk 
 to the dregs, and a motion to adjourn was carried 
 unanimously. On making a move for the house, 
 however, it was discovered that for once in her 
 life, Mabel Irving, the heroine of many false alarms, 
 had really, truly, and honestly fainted, and in the 
 confusion it had passed unnoticed. 
 
 Poor mischievous Vi ! The phosphorescent de- 
 spair and remorse depicted in her countenance 
 when this catastrophe came to light, was enough 
 to make the sternest of disciplinarians overlook her 
 thoughtless prank. She rushed vehemently at her 
 victim, and seizing her in her arms, accused her- 
 self of being a heartless murderess. Mabel, open- 
 ing her eyes at this juncture, and finding herself 
 apparently in the grasp of a demon for the 
 phosphorous was more active than ever with 
 the awful word " murderess " falling on her semi-
 
 conscious ears, gave one shriek and straightway 
 went off again into what this time proved a pro- 
 longed swoon. 
 
 This series of catastrophes robbed the enter- 
 prize of all its charms, and as soon as the unfortu- 
 nate Mabel could be brought back to a realizing 
 sense of mundane things, we shook the dust off 
 our feet and left the scene of the disaster, feeling 
 well pleased when the Castle loomed up in the 
 distance. 
 
 Dear old Castle ! How many happy hours have 
 been passed beneath thy flag, and how shadowy 
 the troubled ones, mellowed by time, appear in 
 comparison ! 
 
 Burr's announcement that the demands of busi- 
 ness compelled him to sever his connection with 
 the cooperative association seemed to fall with 
 saddening effect on every one but that wretched, 
 incomprehensible Vi. She simply looked up from 
 her novel and remarked carelessly : 
 
 " I suppose you feel in duty bound to spend 
 part of your summer at Chatham, Mr. Curtis, so 
 that your friend may not be ' compelled to toil all 
 of life's pilgrimage away ' alone." 
 
 As Chatham was the address given in the cele-
 
 brated letter, from which she had also given a well- 
 remembered quotation, the inference was plain 
 to all, and Burr was furious. 
 
 Was she really indifferent to him after all, and 
 was the present plot destined to be as futile in 
 results as its predecessors ? Time alone would 
 show.
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE. 
 
 NOT so much as an ordinary inquiry as to 
 whether you had heard from me or not, 
 eh ? " 
 
 It was the Wednesday afternoon after the grave- 
 yard adventure, and Burr and I were seated on 
 the piazza of the Templeton House, stretching our 
 legs and enjoying the delightful breezes of ocean. 
 The plot was now under full sail, but somehow had 
 failed to bring about the intended results, and was 
 fast on the way to join its predecessors in the 
 cemetery of shattered hopes. Half the allotted 
 week had already become a thing of the past, and 
 if Vi was broken-hearted, or even bruised in the 
 cardiac region, she had a peculiar style of showing 
 it ; for such a knowing, mischievous look as had 
 shone in her wicked gray eyes since Burr's de- 
 parture I had never seen there in all my previous 
 acquaintance with her, and it looked, sometimes, as 
 
 132
 
 though the sprite rather relished his absence than 
 otherwise. 
 
 Of course I didn't put it in this unflattering 
 light to her devoted swain, but, for the life of me, 
 I couldn't tell a downright falsehood to an old 
 chum, and swear that she was pining away to a 
 straw, when, as a fact, she ate her three meals a 
 day unmurmuringly, and was looking the very pict- 
 ure of rosy health. 
 
 Consequently, as we sat there on the piazza, 
 Burr was blue, and I was thoughtful, for I was try- 
 ing to conjure up some delicate way of advising 
 him to give Vi up for good, and at the same time 
 let him down easy. 
 
 Somehow my heart failed me at the last minute, 
 the duty was such an ungrateful one, and I rowed 
 back to the Castle without telling him what I 
 thought that his suit was hopeless. 
 
 Sometimes we are wise by accident, and 
 the next day I had good cause to applaud my 
 indecision about dashing his hopes, for, as I 
 was strolling leisurely down to the beach to 
 take my daily row to the Templeton House, 
 I suddenly came across naughty little Vi, sitting 
 under a tree with her back towards me, evi-
 
 134 POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 dently very much absorbed in something she 
 was reading. 
 
 Stealing up so quietly behind her never dream- 
 ing of making any discovery that my approach 
 failed to arouse her, I looked over her shoulder, 
 and saw that she was reading something that 
 looked like poetry written on the blank pages of a 
 pocket diary, and it flashed upon me in the mo- 
 mentary glance I got, that the handwriting looked 
 wonderfully familiar. 
 
 Catching sight of me almost instantly, she hur- 
 riedly hid the papers from sight, and springing to 
 her feet, with a flaming face, exclaimed : 
 
 " How dare you ! " 
 
 " How dare I what ? " I questioned coolly, 
 noticing as I spoke that her eyes bore evidence of 
 recent tears ; "walk on the grass ? I see no signs 
 up." 
 
 By this time she had resumed her calmness, and 
 declared she took me for a tramp, I came up so 
 quietly ; but I had learned all I wanted to know, so 
 with a laughing injunction to "keep her eyes open 
 for other trespassers," I hastened to where my 
 boat was moored, and springing into it, pulled for 
 the Templeton House in as lively fashion as though
 
 POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE. 135 
 
 I were the stroke-oar of a university crew, calling 
 on his men for a final spurt at the finish. 
 
 Before Burr could open his mouth to say a word, 
 I grabbed him by the shoulders and almost shouted 
 in his ear : 
 
 " Did you ever write any poetry for Vi? " 
 
 " Why, yes ; a piece called " 
 
 " On what kind of paper ? " 
 
 "The leaves of a diary which " 
 
 " Pinkish ? " 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " Burr," I said faintly, sinking into a chair, 
 " that romantic, though diabolical Vi has wept it 
 into pulp ; and if you ever give up the chase after 
 that encouraging symptom, I, for one, shall disown 
 you forever." 
 
 Burr paled for a moment ; then the color suffused 
 his face : 
 
 " Brooksy," he said huskily, " the whole thing ! 
 Don't leave out a word ! That's a good fellow ! " 
 
 Leave out a word ! Was it likely, after waiting 
 all this time to have one to tell ? 
 
 I painted her surprise and indignation at being 
 discovered in her weakness. I expatiated over her 
 blushes ; and when I came to those tear-traces in
 
 136 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 her eyes, I flatter myself that a poet couldn't have 
 clone the subject more justice than I did. In fact, 
 I got Burr so worked up over my descriptions that 
 he wanted to get into the boat then and there and 
 row home with me, swearing he couldn't stand 
 being away any longer. I persuaded him against 
 this course, however, as indiscreet ; showed him 
 that the field was by no means won because the 
 outworks were taken, and pointed out the fact that 
 Vi might be frightened back again to her burrow, 
 if she learned that a ruse had been perpetrated to. 
 make her yield. He consented finally to defer his 
 return until Saturday, as originally planned, and 
 then make a pretense of having come direct from 
 the city. 
 
 Till then I bade him adieu, and left him alone in 
 his new-found glory, for it hardly seemed worth 
 while for me to row over on the one remaining 
 day of his absence, unless, of course, something 
 particular should occur. 
 
 Something did occur, sure enough, but alas ! it 
 was not through me that Burr received notification 
 of it. 
 
 The next morning, Mrs. B. and Vi announced 
 their intention of taking a carriage-drive, and asked
 
 POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE. 1 37 
 
 me to accompany them, which I was very glad to 
 do though as a rule I despise riding for I was 
 lonely in Burr's absence, and didn't know how to 
 kill the time while waiting for the grand culmina- 
 tion. 
 
 A finer day for a drive could not have been 
 selected, and I lay back on the easy cushions, tak- 
 ing it comfortably, and inwardly chuckling at the 
 dramatic situations which a day would bring forth. 
 
 I was so tickled by my own fancies that I even 
 endured patiently the long stops made by ^the 
 ladies over their shopping, when I suddenly 
 became painfully aware "that sufficient for the 
 day is the evil thereof," by hearing Mrs. B. say to 
 Vi: 
 
 " What do you say to calling on the Pembrooks, 
 dear ? They live at the Templeton House, only a 
 short drive down the coast, and the view is lovely 
 all the way." 
 
 " Why, I don't think we could do better, Polly. 
 We owe them a call, and I know Sally Pem- 
 brook'll be awfully glad to see s." 
 
 And before I could recover my breath sufficiently 
 to offer a wor4 of protest, the coachman had been 
 spoken to, and our direction changed towards
 
 138 'POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 the asylum which temporarily sheltered the arch- 
 conspirator, Wilbur Curtis, Esq. 
 
 As all the possibilities and probabilities which 
 might result from this terrible catastrophe 
 presented themselves one after another to my 
 mind, I alternately cursed the Pembrooks' exist- 
 ence and my own stupidity in not having foreseen 
 that the Templeton was far too near the Citadel 
 for our operations to be carried on there with 
 safety to the enterprise. 
 
 So completely was I taken by surprise at the 
 suddenness of the danger, that for a while I simply 
 sat and stared blankly at nothing ; then I cleared 
 the decks for action. 
 
 "My dear," I ventured, "you know how I 
 detest visiting. Couldn't you postpone your call 
 on the Pembrooks until another day when I am 
 not with you ? There's a splendid game of lawn 
 tennis on for this afternoon at the Athletic 
 Grounds, and I know you and Vi will enjoy it 
 intensely." 
 
 "My good sir," responded Mrs. B. archly, "one 
 of the penalties you have to pay when you go out 
 driving with ladies, is submission to their freaks ; 
 you know visiting is not half as detestable to you
 
 POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE. 139 
 
 as shopping ; besides, you can spend your time in 
 the bowling alley, if you don't feel disposed to 
 come up-stairs." 
 
 " Fooled again," said I to myself, beginning to 
 feel unpleasantly like the villian of the play. 
 
 "Good heavens!" I exclaimed, suddenly rising 
 to my feet as I spoke, " didn't I hear there was a 
 case of small-pox at the Templeton, driver?" 
 digging my fist into his side, and leaving a dollar 
 bill beside him on the seat. 
 
 He was an Irishman, and quick-witted, and he 
 probably thought at the least, that I had a surrep- 
 titious sweetheart at the hotel, for he turned 
 promptly around and answered : 
 
 "Yis, sir; she died this morning, and they 
 haven't removed the body yit, sir." 
 
 That settles it, I thought triumphantly. For I 
 knew Mrs. B.'s horror of that dread disease, and 
 didn't dream for a moment she would venture where 
 there was danger of contagion. 
 
 To my great astonishment, however, she 
 never quailed ; and when I protested, simply 
 answered : 
 
 " Oh ! we have all been vaccinated lately, and 
 there can't be much danger ; so that unless you are
 
 140 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 afraid, Vi," (" Oh no! " came the response) "why, 
 we'll go just the same." 
 
 " But our child, our baby ! " I faltered patheti- 
 cally. " Are we warranted in running any 
 risks?" 
 
 " Doctor Cock says he never saw a child's vacci- 
 nation take so well, and that he'd be safe in a 
 small-pox hospital." 
 
 After this I gave up the contest, for it began to 
 dawn upon me that there was "method in their 
 madness," and putting my trust in the chapter of 
 accidents, I hoped for the best, and gave myself up 
 to the inevitable. 
 
 " He gave a sickly sort of smile and curled up on the floor, 
 And the subsequent proceedings interested him no more." 
 
 As luck would have it, Burr must needs be 
 sitting on the piazza, with his back to us, when we 
 drove up to the hotel, and before I could rush 
 forward and give him warning of what was coming, 
 Vi was standing smiling, before him, holding out 
 her hand in the calmest way imaginable, and say- 
 ing in a perfectly natural voice : 
 
 " Why, how do you do, Mr. Curtis ? what a sur- 
 prise to find you here ! Why haven't you given 
 us a call, since you are so near? But I suppose
 
 POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE. 14! 
 
 your time is all engrossed by the ' kindred soul,' 
 who, I take it for granted, is stopping at the Tem- 
 pi eton." 
 
 Wretched Burr ! If an artist had been present, 
 he could have utilized his face for the picture of a 
 burglar breaking open a safe and being detected 
 in the act. 
 
 The tables were turned with a vengeance. True, 
 the sudden re-appearance had taken place, but not 
 according to the original lines, by any means ; and 
 the roles had been changed at the last moment 
 before ringing up the curtain. 
 
 By this time it was beyond question that we had 
 been played with like fish at the end of a line, and 
 that the Pembrook visit was a hoax ; otherwise, of 
 course Vi would never have met Burr so calmly ! 
 Besides, the persistency of Mrs. B. and her mani- 
 fest disbelief in the small-pox story all indicated a 
 pre-arranged scheme. Suddenly the grave-yard 
 conversation with all its incidents, including Vi's 
 wanderings, came across me like a flash, and every- 
 thing was as clear as daylight ; so that when Burr's 
 reproachful eyes sought me out as the cause of all 
 his misfortunes and he evidently took me for a 
 Judas I simply whispered, "Keep a stiff upper lip
 
 142 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 on the strength of the poetry ; and for the rest, 
 remember the laugh behind the tombstone." 
 
 This sufficed to elucidate the mystery for him, 
 as it had for me, and rendered further explana- 
 tion unnecessary. Inquiry revealed the fact that 
 Mrs. B. was in error about the Pembrooks who 
 were stopping at the Templeton. 
 
 I urged Burr to return with us, that is still 
 keeping up the pretense if his visit to his friends 
 was concluded. At first he demurred and pleaded 
 engagements in the city, but finally gave in, and 
 the four of us returned to the Castle together. 
 
 " Do you think there is any danger of your 
 infecting us with small-pox, Mr. Curtis ? " asked 
 Vi as the carriage started. 
 
 " Small-pox ! " answered Burr vaguely. " There's 
 no small-pox where I've been." 
 
 " Indeed," laughed Vi roguishly ; " Brooksy heard 
 they had it bad at the Templeton." 
 
 "Vi," said I, looking her straight in the eyes, 
 " are you fond of poetry ? " and Viola Reefer sank 
 back blushingly on the cushions, and gave up the 
 contest of wits. 
 
 From the day and hour of that fiasco, Burr 
 changed his tactics completely ; he more than
 
 POLLY TAKES A PLEASURE DRIVE. 143 
 
 matched Vi for indifference, and apparently resum- 
 ing his old-time flow of spirits, again became the 
 life of the house. This change was hailed with 
 delight by every one save Vi, who, for some reason 
 or other, seemed to look upon the " doleful dumps" 
 as a state of being eminently proper for him to 
 maintain, and didn't exactly relish the change. 
 
 Burr never mentioned our dismal failure at the 
 Templeton House, but it was very apparent that 
 Vi's clever counterplot was a thorn in the side to 
 him, and would not soon be forgotten. 
 
 Rowing-parties, clam-bakes and a hundred other 
 diversions followed each other so rapidly at this 
 period, that before we knew where we were, the 
 summer was almost over,
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 
 
 COME, take a walk with me, Vi ; this is the 
 third time I've asked you in as many days, 
 and if you refuse much longer, I shall begin to 
 believe you're conceited enough to fancy I shall 
 fall in love with you if vouchsafed more than a 
 modicum of your society." 
 
 Could this be Burr Curtis, the late devoted 
 swain who for love of her bright eyes was griev- 
 ing himself into a walking picture of woe ; the 
 strategist, forever plotting for a return to her good 
 graces ; the meek, the humble supplicant of yes- 
 terday, transformed into this impertinent, this 
 coolly indifferent individual of to-day? 
 
 Evidently Vi couldn't believe her senses, or was 
 too dazed to gather them together, for she started 
 off with him as meek as a fawn, and, for a wonder, 
 failed even to find an apt quotation from the 
 familiar letter with which to wither him in his 
 
 '44
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 145 
 
 presumption I am told you can twitch stray 
 hairs from a tame lion's mane, but there is a 
 limit to the diversion ; so it was with Burr. 
 While he loved Vi as devotedly as ever, and 
 resolved to make it the business of his life to win 
 her knowing full well that the making or marring 
 of his life depended upon his success the spirit 
 of manhood within him revolted against any more 
 concessions to weakness ; and whatever his inward 
 reflections, he was outwardly as cool as though 
 he had nothing whatever to ask at Fortune's hands. 
 
 This new flight of what Vi had grown to look 
 upon as her own special quarry, did not chime with 
 her fancy at all (what woman yet ever viewed the 
 loss of a slave with equanimity ?) ; but she saw no 
 way of bringing him back to earth without draw- 
 ing in her own kite of pride, and that she couldn't 
 bring herself to do. 
 
 It was clear that his newly acquired hardihood 
 must be snubbed at once, but how to snub it 
 without at the same time letting it transpire that 
 she did have a feeling over it, was an enigma too 
 deep for even her clever little brain to solve. So 
 Burr had the best of it ; but such a sorry best, that 
 I am very certain he would cheerfully have
 
 146 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 exchanged it for the mutual understanding that 
 existed before that unlucky affair at the pavilion, 
 and its unfortunate sequel turned all his newly- 
 baked bread into dough. 
 
 Such was the state of affairs existing between 
 the lovers, when, one afternoon while we were all 
 out on the lawn-tennis ground, some playing, and 
 others lying in the hammocks watching the sport, 
 Dolly Martin said suddenly : 
 
 "Why, wouldn't it be a good idea " 
 
 "It would," said Burr gravely, going through 
 the manuel of arms with his racquet. 
 
 "Pshaw ! do give me a chance to finish ! Why 
 wouldn't it be a good idea, I mean, to give a lawn- 
 tennis party next Saturday afternoon, and have 
 dancing in the evening. We know lots of nice 
 people who are spending the summer in the neigh- 
 borhood, and we could have a magnificent time." 
 
 " That's so," echoed Mabel Irving languidly 
 from her hammock. 
 
 "Say," shouted Burr. " You'd better hurry up ; 
 Dolly Martin has an idea on exhibition. Admis- 
 sion free." 
 
 That was enough. If one of the party had an 
 idea, the rest were always ready to hear it ; so
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 147 
 
 dropping their game, the players gathered around 
 to listen. 
 
 As usual, anything in the pleasure line was 
 greedily devoured, and Dolly felt herself quite a 
 heroine when she found how eagerly we received 
 her suggestion. 
 
 To the afternoon part of the programme was 
 added, by way of originality, a ladies' rope-skip- 
 ping match, the nimblest and most graceful 
 skipper to receive the " Maple Grove medal," 
 which she must stand ready to defend against all 
 comers for the period of one week ; while for the 
 sterner sex a half-mile run was provided, the win- 
 ner to be entitled to the proud distinction of 
 selecting the Queen of Love and Beauty to pre- 
 side over the evening revels. 
 
 Our plan once concocted it did not take long 
 for the preliminaries to be arranged, and invita- 
 tions were duly engraved and sent forth. They 
 read as follows : 
 THE MAPLE GROVE CO-OPERATIVE ASSOCIATION 
 
 REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY AT AN 
 
 AFTERNOON LAWN TENNIS PARTY, 
 
 TO BE GIVEN ON THE GROUNDS OF THE CASTLE, SATURDAY, 
 AUGUST TENTH, AT TWO P. M. 
 
 DANCING IN THE EVENING. 
 R. S. V. P. MAPLE GROVE CASTLK.
 
 148 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 Acceptances were general too general, in fact. 
 We had so many petitions to allow invitations 
 to cover visiting friends, that we suffered from 
 fcmbarras dcs richesses, and were finally compelled 
 to plead the lack of room to accommodate more. 
 
 Such extensive preparations as went on that 
 week ! 
 
 Such awful secretiveness as was maintained 
 among the ladies, both with each other and with us, 
 as to what they were going to wear on that moment- 
 ous occasion ! Mrs. B. and Vi were cooperating 
 evidently in their dress-making ideas, for they 
 would lock themselves up together in a room, and 
 no amount of urging could induce them to open 
 the door. 
 
 The temptation to train a little for the rope skip- 
 ping and running was strong upon us, but as they 
 were not alluded to in the invitations, it was 
 agreed that it would not be fair to take any undue 
 advantage over our guests ; so we religiously 
 refrained from indulging our desires. 
 
 " Everything comes to him who will but wait," 
 is an aphorism whose truthfulness I have full faith 
 in, provided always the "waiting " is not limited to 
 the narrow confines of human existence, but is
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 149 
 
 carried forward into immortality. In the case of 
 the garden party, however, this extended range 
 of time was not called for, and in due course of 
 events the sun arose, and ushered in the appointed 
 day. 
 
 As adults, we know of course that the sun rises 
 every day; but as children, we are unbelievers, and 
 unwilling to admit the fact when the sky is too 
 overcast with clouds to permit of optical proof, and 
 the rain interferes with some promised pleasure : 
 this would, I fear, have been our case had the ele- 
 ments shown themselves unpropitious that morn- 
 ing. We were not put to the test, however, for 
 nature very kindly adapted herself to our require- 
 ments, and from horizon to horizon stretched one 
 glorious arch of heaven's blue. 
 
 Such a tempest in a tea-pot as the ladies fanned 
 up that morning ! 
 
 Poor Mary Cecilia was kept busy running from 
 one room to another as broker in those final 
 exchanges which always occur over the finishing 
 touches of a toilet when several of the sex are 
 gathered together under one roof. 
 
 It was " Polly, have you any large hair-pins?" or, 
 " Mabel, lend me a coarse needle ; " and, " Say, girls,
 
 I5O POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 who'll give a piece of court-plaster ? " and so on 
 ad infinitum, resounding from room to room 
 through half-open doors which concealed the in- 
 sufficiently-clad owners of the voices, until Burr 
 and I thanked the propitious stars which had des- 
 tined us to wear pants instead of petticoats. 
 
 Twelve-o'clock lunch, however, brought forth 
 such a galaxy of charmers that we were obliged to 
 own with the Jesuits, " that the end justifies the 
 means." 
 
 As they gathered around the table in their many- 
 hued dresses, the effect was really artistic, and by 
 great good fortune no one killed her neighbor a 
 somewhat ghastly figure of speech in vogue among 
 ladies to indicate one color throwing another into 
 the shade. 
 
 At half past one the guests began to arrive, and 
 from that hour on they kept coming and coming, 
 until it really seemed as though " standing-room 
 only " would soon be the order of the day. 
 
 This onslaught served to bring out another 
 beauty of the cooperative plan ; for, whereas there 
 are usually but one host and hostess, we had a 
 bountiful supply of both commodities, and the 
 usual tedious waits over being received and per-
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 151 
 
 mitted to enjoy one's self en regie were entirely 
 obviated. 
 
 One of the surprises of the day was the entirely 
 unexpected arrival just at the outset of the festivi- 
 ties of our old friends and fellow-cooperators, the 
 Hillwigs. On their first advent we had tried to 
 make them stare and failed ; on their second, we 
 made no effort and succeeded beyond everything ; 
 for they had returned from the mountains suddenly 
 and so missed our letters and knew nothing of the 
 fete. They were on their way to Saratoga, but 
 could not resist the opportunity of spending a few 
 days with us. We made them heartily welcome, 
 and they were soon enjoying themselves with the 
 rest. 
 
 Several exciting games of lawn tennis were 
 played, in which V and Burr covered themselves 
 with distinction ; and when this sport began to 
 pall upon players, and spectators, I obtained silence 
 and announced the nature of the contests which 
 were to follow,, at the same time assuring our 
 friends; that we were all on an equal footing, as no 
 practising had been permitted. Whereupon Burr 
 covered me with confusion by rising to a point of 
 order and desiring information as to how we could
 
 I$2 POLLY S SCHEME; : 
 
 all be on an equal footing unless we all wore the 
 same-sized shoe, which it was showing a lack of 
 respect to the ladies to assert. 
 
 Much laughter and applause followed, and about 
 twenty young ladies blushingly volunteered for the 
 skipping-rope contest. 
 
 Judges were appointed one lady and two gen- 
 tlemen and the novel spectacle of full-fledged 
 society girls returning to the sports of childhood, 
 began. 
 
 Such laughing and clapping of hands as followed 
 the motions of the fair contestants as they made 
 their essay some boldly, some shyly it was 
 good to hear. 
 
 One old gentleman, the patriarch of the party, 
 and a county judge at that, nearly laughed him- 
 self into apoplexy, and had to be thumped on the 
 back by Burr who was next him, which, the old 
 gentleman said, was a pretty hard hit at the bench 
 from the bar, which joke on Burr's profession was 
 highly relished. 
 
 Vi was the last contestant to step up, and as one 
 of her predecessors, a pretty little blonde, had 
 scored a hundred and nineteen before making a 
 break, and done it very gracefully too, it was
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 153 
 
 hardly thought possible she could win the palm. 
 When, however, she had scored a hundred points, 
 showing, too, more grace of motion than her rival, 
 the excitement became intense, and perfect silence 
 reigned until she tallied a hundred and twenty, 
 when such a perfect ovation of clapping and cheers 
 greeted her rosy little ears, that she fairly ran out 
 of the circle in dismay. She was speedily recalled, 
 however, to receive the gold medal, which bore the 
 inscription, " For a good girl," and was presented 
 by the old Judge, who made a witty address of 
 presentation and finished up by trusting she would 
 always try to be an example to her little school- 
 mates and not show too much fondness for the 
 boys. 
 
 By winning the medal in addition to lustre 
 already conferred by skill at tennis, Vi had ren- 
 dered herself quite a heroine, and was constantly 
 the centre of a revolving circle of admiring youths. 
 Especially had she endeared herself to the mem- 
 bers of the local Athletic Club, one of whom 
 declared enthusiastically that she was a thorough- 
 bred, and ought to be a fellow. Though Burr took 
 an occasional vicious bite at his moustache when 
 no one was looking, he was to all appearances
 
 154 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 perfectly indifferent to the furor she was creating, 
 and made himself as great a favorite with the fair 
 sex, as she was with the other. 
 
 Occasionally Vi's eyes followed his motions, and 
 I thought I detected a thoughtful look in their 
 gray, fathomless depths, not unmixed with regret. 
 
 Volunteers for the second great event of the 
 day, the half-mile run, were now called up, and so 
 many aspirants presented themselves that it became 
 necessary to institute preliminary heats of a hun- 
 dred yards each, to determine who should be enti- 
 tled to run in the final competition. 
 
 The winners, five in number, including Burr 
 whom I knew to be a good runner, and Johnny 
 Mott, champion of the local Athletic Club, finally 
 toed the line, and at a given signal started off 
 together. 
 
 Burr and Mott fell quickly in the rear and 
 allowed the other three an opportunity to waste 
 their breath and tire their muscles before the real 
 struggle began, seeing which, and not being famil- 
 iar with the wiles of athletes, many of the ladies 
 thought they were out of the game, and expressed 
 unmeasured sympathy. Discretion, as usual, how- 
 ever, proved the better part of valor ; for by the
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 155 
 
 time the quarter had been covered, two out of the 
 original five had fallen by the wayside, and Mott 
 was in the lead closely waited on by Burr, while 
 the third man was trailing hopelessly in the rear, 
 and at the end of another hundred yards, gave up 
 the contest winded. Then began the struggle in 
 solemn, sober earnest, and cries of " Go it, Burr ! " 
 "Well done, Mott ! " were heard from all sides as 
 those two pounded over the course. 
 
 Our guests, as was natural, were generally 
 anxious to see Mott win, especially the members 
 of his club, while the cooperators would willingly 
 have emptied their pocket-books to feel certain 
 that Burr would cross that line ahead. 
 
 Knit by a bond of common sympathy, we in- 
 stinctively drew close together, and answered the 
 cries of the Mott party with yells of " Good boy, 
 Burr!" " For the Castle !" "Run him to earth, 
 you darling! "and others of a like enthusiastic 
 nature. A hundred yards to run, and Burr five 
 feet behind ! It was enough to make one weep. 
 
 " Mott ! " " Burr ! " " Mott wins ! " " He doesn't ! " 
 Such were the cries that rang out, and only fifty 
 yards left to decide the race. 
 
 "By Jove, it's soft!"- cried an enthusiastic
 
 156 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 admirer of Mott, throwing up his hat in a frenzy 
 of exultation. 
 "Was it?" 
 
 As they neared the line, Burr's mainspring 
 seemed to burst with a whiz, for with one magnifi- 
 cent bound he rushed by Mott as though he had 
 been an anchored buoy, and in another second was 
 in our arms, the winner of the prettiest race I ever 
 saw. 
 
 " How is that for soft ? " I yelled at the dejected 
 friend of the vanquished, as we Hillwig, Irving, 
 and I picked Burr up bodily, and carried him 
 around the circle where his victory had been won, 
 while cheer after cheer followed our triumphal 
 march. Vi winner of one contest, Burr of the 
 other ! 
 
 Verily the hosts of cooperation were strong. 
 By this time the cravings of appetite asserted 
 themselves very pronouncedly, and every one wel- 
 comed the cold collation which was spread on the 
 lawn, the better to maintain the picnic nature of 
 the day. 
 
 When the viands were put into circulation, and 
 our inward gnawings satisfied, toasts were in order, 
 and Burr, springing tb his feet, proposed " Our
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 157 
 
 Guests," calling on Mr. Horton, the owner of the 
 place, to respond, which he did very gracefully. 
 
 The "cooperative society," "the winners of the 
 day's contests," and other toasts succeeded, but 
 the crowning oration of the occasion was old 
 Judge Farnham's response to the "Bench and 
 Bar." 
 
 Such a witty old gentleman surely never graced 
 a young folks' party before ! 
 
 He began by remarking that this was the first 
 time he had appeared before a respectable audience, 
 as he was usually called upon to address lawyers 
 and other criminals, and he felt strangely out of 
 place. He went on to say that he was sorry he 
 could not put in a good word for the bench, but 
 that really it had proven so hard and unyielding as 
 to interfere materially with his enjoyment of the 
 good things spread before him; though perhaps 
 the gentleman who proposed the toast, who was 
 noted for his success with the fair, had succeeded 
 in getting on the soft side of it. As for the bar, it 
 was stocked entirely to his taste ; but the bench 
 certainly ought to be sat upon. 
 
 In fact, he opened such a budget of good things 
 that we felt tempted to treat him as we had Burr,
 
 158 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 and hoist him on our shoulder ; nothing but his 
 magisterial dignity saved him from this ceremony. 
 Eating and toasting consumed so much time that, 
 greatly to the surprise of every one, a temporary 
 lull in the conversation revealed the astonishing 
 fact that the sun had started off for China, and 
 twilight was stealing on apace. 
 
 This necessitated an adjournment to the house 
 and a change in the day's programme. 
 
 Before anything else could be legitimately 
 attempted, however, it was necessary that the 
 coronation of a queen should occur, and as Burr 
 had by his feats in the turney won the proud dis- 
 tinction both of crowning and selecting the one to 
 be crowned, all eyes were turned towards him in 
 eager expectancy. 
 
 As sqon as the company were seated, I advanced 
 to Burr, and handing him a silk cushion and a 
 glove-box full of glass jewelry supposed to repre- 
 sent the regalia of the realm, delivered this pite- 
 ously weak imitation of heraldic lore : 
 
 " Sir knight, by ye doughty feats of chivalree 
 performed in ye lists of Maple Grove this day in 
 ye presence of ye goodly compagnie here assem- 
 bled, ye have right well earned ye right, I, herald
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. 159 
 
 of ye tourney, now confer, videlicet : to select, nom- 
 inate and appoint ye Queen of Love and Beauty, 
 to whom these other knights, vanquished, but not 
 dishonored, are pledged to bend ye knee and ren- 
 der fealty. And may Venus aid ye choice." 
 
 I wonder how many of the fair sirens who sat 
 there in that circle with such external indifference 
 written on their faces, throbbed with expectation 
 of the coming honor. 
 
 Fairest of all in that bouquet of lovely maidens, 
 sat our deep-eyed Vi ; surely if ever a Queen of 
 Love and Beauty smiled on mortal man, she ful- 
 filled the requirements. 
 
 Would he select her ? 
 
 I thought so, and I think that Vi, though she 
 showed it not a whit, half shared my belief, and 
 hoped it might be true ; not for the honor, but the 
 feeling. Except to congratulate each other on 
 their victories, they had hardly spoken during the 
 day, and the barriers of pride were towering so 
 high between them, that it seemed as though they 
 could never be levelled. Here was a chance at 
 propitiation: surely he would never let it pass 
 neglected by. 
 
 Burr stood in the middle of the room, mean-
 
 160 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 while, looking around him, and for a moment he 
 seemed to hesitate ; then advancing slowly in the 
 direction of Vi, he dropped the silken cushion at 
 the feet of the young lady who sat beside her, and 
 kneeling gracefully upon it, placed the crown upon 
 her head inclined to receive it, saying as he did 
 so : 
 
 " Lovely lady, permit your humble courtier to 
 place the crown where it so fittingly belongs, and 
 to be the first to do you reverence." 
 
 Then with inimitable grace he kissed her hand, 
 placed the regalia on her lap and rose to his feet, 
 while some twenty members of the sex felt they 
 had been cheated out of their due. 
 
 Of course the usual amount of applause fol- 
 lowed, and all hastened to do homage to the newly- 
 crowned queen ; but for me, the proceedings had 
 lost their zest I so fondly hoped for a different 
 consummation and Vi's lovely cheek lost its 
 color for a second, though she speedily recovered 
 herself and for the rest of the evening seemed to 
 bubble over with gayety like a fountain ; but in 
 my eyes it looked more like a feverish craving for 
 excitement than a genuine flow of spirits. 
 
 The evening went off in all respects as success-
 
 THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. l6l 
 
 fully as the day had, and when the assemblage 
 finally broke up at a late hour, our guests in thank- 
 ing us for the good time enjoyed, laughingly said 
 that if cooperation produced such good results, 
 they would like to become cooperators. 
 
 " That was my idea," yawned Dolly Martin as 
 we started for bed. 
 
 " Yes," answered Mabel, who had danced inces- 
 santly throughout the evening, not to mention 
 spending the entire afternoon on her feet, "and 
 we had a splendid time, but I feel so faint ! "
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 AN UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST. 
 
 HOW utterly lacking in common sense are half 
 the freaks young people take it into their 
 heads to play during the pan-fish days of court- 
 ship ! What grains of sand do they not seize upon 
 to magnify into mountains, when a single touch of 
 reason's broom would knock the entire cobweb- 
 fabric of nonsense into smithereens. 
 
 From such ridiculously small beginnings, too, do 
 their quarrels arise, that, for my part, I believe half 
 of them are started purposely, with a view to test- 
 ing the staunchness of the other party to the con- 
 tract, when presto ! the whiff becomes a breeze, 
 the breeze a squall, the squall a gale, and before 
 the erstwhile loving couple can make out from 
 what quarter the wind comes, their frail barks are 
 separated to be forever parted, or again reunited, 
 according to circumstances and the star under 
 which the navigators were born. 
 
 162
 
 AX VXDESJRABLE CONQUEST. 163 
 
 Some people maintain that to strive to reconcile 
 quarrelling lovers is to fly directly in the face of 
 Providence ; and that if success attend your efforts, 
 they are bound to curse you all the rest of their 
 natural lives as a promoter of their domestic mis- 
 ery. I do not subscribe, however, to the tenets of 
 the " whatever is, is right " preachers, and I didn't 
 hesitate, therefore, not only to grieve over the 
 lamentable breach between Vi and Burr, but even 
 to do all in my power to fill it up. 
 
 All efforts, however, had proven unavailing, and 
 even when Mrs. B. came over to my side which 
 she did eventually we were still unable to im- 
 prove matters, for both the high contracting parties 
 were now at variance, and the only thing to do, in 
 the language of the prize ring, was to make a ring 
 and let them fight it out for themselves. The 
 cooperative plan was still working smoothly, and 
 we had completely routed and put to flight all our 
 friends who declared it was impossible for us to 
 dwell together in harmony, for with the exception 
 of the Thompson affair and the lovers' quarrel 
 which last didn't count we had had no quarrels of 
 a serious nature. You are not to understand by this 
 that we had no spats or disagreements; these, of
 
 164 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 course, were bound to occur (what family exists 
 without them ?) ; but serious ruptures of the peace 
 were a thing unknown. 
 
 "What a curious-looking genius that is!" said 
 Mabel one day, standing before a window and look- 
 ing down the road toward the pavilion. 
 
 " Yes," answered Burr, rising and following her 
 to the window. " I have been trying to take that 
 fellow's measure for some time, and been unable to 
 do so. Ever since yesterday morning he has been 
 wandering up and down before the house with that 
 Shakespearean tread of his, and looking up first at 
 one window and then at another, as if he were an 
 architect who had been employed to make altera- 
 tions in the house and was deciding where to 
 begin." 
 
 This lengthy description served to arouse our 
 curiosity, and we made haste to join the discov- 
 erers of this new species of biped, to determine for 
 ourselves what manner of beast he was. Sure 
 enough, as they said, there in the middle of the 
 road, with clasped hands and one foot extended, 
 stood a really singular specimen of humanity. 
 
 He was dressed entirely in black, even to his 
 necktie, and his clothes were in perfect keeping
 
 AX UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST. 165 
 
 with his countenance, which was melancholy and 
 dejected in the extreme, and might have served for 
 a likeness of Don Quixote de la Mancha, after one 
 of his most lugubrious adventures. As soon as I 
 stepped out on the piazza., he drew himself up and 
 departed with the slow, measured step of an 
 old-school tragedian, and Burr's " Shakespearean " 
 seemed by no means a misnomer for his gait. 
 
 " Perhaps he thinks we are going to have private 
 theatricals," said Dolly, " and wants to be hired as 
 coach." 
 
 " Very likely," added Burr ; " or perhaps he's an 
 undertaker wretched in this salubrious air; but just 
 as a matter of extra comfort, I think I would sleep 
 on the family plate, if I were you, Brooksy, till he 
 shows his hand plainer." 
 
 With that other thoughts distracted our atten- 
 tion and the mysterious stranger went out of our 
 heads altogether. 
 
 That afternoon as we were all lounging around 
 after lunch, taking it easy and wondering what to 
 do next, there suddenly came such a flash of light- 
 ning, followed almost immediately by a terrific 
 clap of thunder, as I never before experienced in 
 my life, and that, too, from an almost perfectly clear
 
 1 66 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 sky. Such a shriek as went up from the ladies ! 
 Mabel fell on the sofa half-fainting. Mrs. B. made 
 a rush for me, while Vi instinctively called "Burr! 
 Burr ! " and then, when he rushed to quiet her 
 fears, insisted that she never so much as breathed 
 his name. Frederick William gave one lusty yell 
 of terror, and then said piteously, " I guess I'd bet- 
 ter get under the table, mamma;" and suiting the 
 action to the words, quickly disappeared under the 
 dining-room table, from which Gibraltar of safety 
 it was found impossible to make him venture for 
 a full half-hour after. 
 
 Five minutes later, the heavens opened and 
 poured forth such a libation as effectually to settle 
 the question of what to do, in favor of staying in 
 the house and playing solitaire a favorite diver- 
 sion of unpleasant weather. 
 
 A foreigner coming in upon us when engaged in 
 this pastime, and seeing each one solemnly turning 
 over his or her cards, sepulchral silence reigning 
 the while, might easily imagine we were engaged 
 over some mysterious religious rite, and depart on 
 reverential tiptoe. 
 
 All that afternoon and all the evening it rained 
 unceasingly; and even sitting on the piazza was
 
 AN UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST. 1 6? 
 
 out of the question. About eight o'clock, the bell 
 rang three times ; not violently, as though a hasty 
 admission was sought, but slowly and methodically, 
 and instinctively we all rose to our feet in surprise. 
 
 "The Shakespearean for a cookey," said Burr; 
 at which the ladies all fled precipitately to the 
 dining-room, for we had been discussing the mys- 
 terious stranger all the evening, and they were so 
 worked up that even the idea of his coming alarmed 
 them. 
 
 I threw open the front door, and, sure enough, 
 Burr's careless surmise proved correct, and in 
 strode the tragic individual in black who had en- 
 gaged our attention in the morning. 
 
 " What do you wish ? " I asked politely, for it 
 is never well to be too precipitate, even with such 
 a queer-looking specimen as he was. 
 
 " Wish ! " exclaimed he, tragically repeating my 
 last word ; " I have come, fair sirs, to claim the 
 hand of my affianced bride." 
 
 " She left here yesterday," said Burr, whose 
 quick wit led him to perceive the nature of man 
 we had to deal with, and the policy of temporizing 
 with him, if possible. Our visitor was a mad- 
 man.
 
 1 68 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! and thinkest thou, then, with subter- 
 fuge and lies to throw an infuriate lover off the 
 scent, thou base-born minion of a black-browed 
 brood ! Mark me, sirs I these hands have been im- 
 bued in purple blood ere this, and if thou think'st 
 me caitiff knight, thou wrong'st the bravest free- 
 lance of liege Richard's court." 
 
 For a moment, spite of the terrible danger of 
 the situation, we actually stood spell-bound with 
 admiration. Such acting would have been a credit 
 even to Edwin Booth. 
 
 "There, there," I said soothingly, "you've made 
 a mistake, my friend. She whom you seek has 
 left us and gone to join you. Return home, and 
 you will probably find her there before you." 
 
 He seemed to be listening attentively to my 
 words, and I had strong hopes of getting rid of 
 him quietly, when he unfortunately caught sight of 
 the ladies, who, in their interest at what was going 
 on, had indiscreetly ventured too near the door, 
 and making a spring at Dolly, he shouted out : 
 
 " Base knave, thou liest ! Lo ! Evelyn's self 
 doth cram the lie down thy unhallowed throat." 
 
 This ended all hope of a peaceful termination, and 
 we made a simultaneous bound and caught him
 
 AN UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST. 169 
 
 just as he was on the point of seizing Dolly, who 
 was too petrified with terror to stir. 
 
 Then ensued a terrific struggle such as I never 
 want to see or participate in again as long as I 
 live. Our united strength seemed positive weak- 
 ness in comparison with his maniacal fury. He 
 foamed at the mouth, he tried to bite us, and 
 dragged us from one side of the room to the other, 
 all the time invoking the most horrible curses 
 upon us, while the ladies, paralyzed into silence 
 with fright, stood watching the conflict breath- 
 lessly, and Mary Cecilia was on her knees in the 
 hall calling all the saints in the calendar to the 
 rescue. 
 
 The centre-table was knocked over, and havoc 
 created generally, until finally, just as the infuriated 
 maniac had seized a chair as a weapon, Irving 
 struck him a terrific blow between the eyes, which 
 sent him to earth, and we all three precipitated 
 ourselves upon him. 
 
 Even then he struggled lustily ; but by this 
 time the ladies- had recovered sufficiently to attend 
 our call for a clothes-line, and we soon to our 
 infinite satisfaction had him bound hand and 
 foot.
 
 I/O POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 Fortunately for us, our unwelcome visitor was 
 unarmed ; otherwise, one or more of us would proba- 
 bly have suffered. 
 
 Sleep was effectually banished for the night, 
 though we tried to persuade the ladies to seek 
 needed rest while we kept watch ; and the first 
 thing in the morning, we sent for the authorities 
 who took our prisoner off in a cart. 
 
 He turned out subsequently to be a crazy actor 
 who had escaped from the State asylum, who, 
 while at times quiet and tractable, was regarded 
 when in a frenzy as one of the most dangerous 
 inmates of that institution. 
 
 He had evidently rambled into our neighbor- 
 hood, seen Dolly, and been struck with an insane 
 fancy for her, with the result I have just de- 
 scribed. 
 
 I shudder, now, as I chronicle this chapter of that 
 summer's romance ; and it was some time before 
 we could rally from its effects. 
 
 Gradually, however, our horror of it died out, . 
 and an advertising bill representing Sothern as 
 the crushed tragedian, and labelled, " Dolly's 
 latest," was favorably received when it appeared 
 in due course on the bulletin -board, and high
 
 AN UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST. 17! 
 
 tragedy in conversation became for a time quite 
 the rage with the mercurial Castleites. 
 
 This adventure added considerably to the lively 
 interest which our neighbors seemed to take in us 
 and our affairs. The Daily Opinion came out with 
 a somewhat exaggerated account of the affair, in 
 which our visitor was made to brandish a long 
 knife, while we faced him with loaded revolvers 
 and the ladies ran to the village two miles for 
 assistance. 
 
 After that glowing description we were in 
 mortal terror of figuring in the Police News. The 
 speculation we aroused in the vicinity that sum- 
 mer, by the by, was the cause of no small amount 
 of discomfort to us. Hearing, for example, that 
 we constituted some sort of society, and not being 
 able to ascertain whether its aims were benevolent, 
 religious, or social, the natives took it for granted we 
 were a mixture of all four, and acted accordingly. 
 
 Mendicants came for food and clothing ; invalids 
 -and deformed people came for treatment ; preachers 
 to officiate at hieetings, until altogether it became 
 a perfect nuisance. Then there were others who 
 drove up boldly, and asked what the society was 
 for, any way, and what we did.
 
 1/2 POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 One of these latter accosted Rurr one day with 
 the stereotyped query, and he answered quietly : 
 
 " Society for measuring worms ; don't you want 
 to come in and be measured ? " 
 
 We finally saved ourselves considerable annoy- 
 ance by putting up a sign at the gate, which read : 
 
 "The dog is not friendly with strangers." 
 
 Certainly, curiosity is one of the cardinal vices of 
 humanity, and it does not require a very violent 
 effort of the imagination to understand the harrow- 
 ing torture to which poor Eve was a prey, when 
 told she must not sample the flavor of that famous 
 apple. 
 
 As a result of the tennis party, we were favored 
 with many callers ; so many, in fact, that we began 
 to resent, after a while, this constant invasion of 
 our little paradise and devised a method of escape. 
 
 By instructing Mary Cecilia to say we were out 
 which was true and lying /m/wj in the ham- 
 mocks under cover of the trees, we could watch 
 our visitors drive up to the door, and, after fruitless 
 knocking, depart with a muttered "not at home," 
 though in driving around the circle they passed 
 within ten feet of our hiding-place. 
 
 Sometimes, of course* we would be glad of a
 
 AN UNDESIRABLE CONQUEST. 1/3 
 
 little outside society, and then we had but to make 
 our own choice of company. 
 
 The victims of Vi's skipping, dancing, and tennis 
 successes, made up a large majority of our callers ; 
 they were youngsters, for the most part, with all 
 the verdant freshness of their years sticking out 
 like a donkey's ears, and I am certain Vi fre- 
 quently entertained them when she would have 
 preferred the buzzing of a friendly mosquito to 
 their conversation, solely and purely for the pur- 
 pose of annoying Burr, who showed no signs of her 
 having succeeded, beyond asking her once, in a 
 lazy sort of way, if she was fond of children, to which 
 she retorted : 
 
 " No, not particularly ; but I'm trying to find 
 'seventy-two little minds to teach,'" which was 
 rather a settler for him. 
 
 There is one member of our little society of that 
 summer of whom I have heretofore made little or 
 no mention, and that is Annie Martin, Dolly's 
 sister ; not by any means because she doesn't 
 deserve it, but -because, being older than the rest 
 of us, she seldom entered very largely into our 
 pranks, and was generally either in her room or 
 wandering off on long solitary walks ; for there
 
 174 POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 were many times when she seemed to prefer her 
 own thoughts to any other society. In fact, I think 
 some early disappointment must have marred, 
 though it had not hardened, her whole life, for she 
 was full of gentleness and sympathy, and ever ready 
 to receive our confidences and console us in our 
 troubles. 
 
 She was perfectly devoted to Dolly, and would, 
 I believe, have made any sacrifices, to secure her 
 happiness. 
 
 When I told her about the trouble between Vi 
 and Burr, and asked her advice, she said with 
 infinite sweetness : 
 
 " Alas ! George, we must make or mar our own 
 lives, and according to our own choice find happi- 
 ness or misery," which more than ever convinced 
 me that she had her own burdens to bear, and that 
 they were not light.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 UP A TREE. 
 
 AUTUMN had come with all its matchless 
 beauty of coloring, and the variegated 
 shades of summer green gave place to the gold and 
 crimson of fall. 
 
 The brisk, exhilarating breezes afforded a relief 
 to the parching heat of summer, and stirred the 
 cob'perators into a zest and enjoyment of the season 
 which was only tempered by the saddening thought 
 that the end was at hand. Yes, after a few 
 months of almost undimmed lustre, the last days 
 of Polly's scheme drew near, and in another week 
 trunks would be packed, little knickknacks taken 
 down from the wall, farewells spoken, and the dear 
 old Castle which had sheltered us so well for the 
 summer, and so often resounded with merriment 
 and laughter, left to desolation and silence. 
 
 How many and how varied had been our experi- 
 ences beneath that roof ! 
 
 175
 
 176 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 It was like parting with a loved friend to leave 
 it, and it is hardly to be wondered at that the 
 spirit of mirth which had reigned so long should 
 resign her sceptre to melancholy during the last 
 few days we were to spend together. Nothing 
 save the thought of meeting frequently in the city, 
 and living over again in fancy the many pleasant 
 experiences by which we were bound together, 
 prevented us from going about with countenances 
 as long as yard-sticks, and giving ourselves up to 
 the most dismal repinings. 
 
 Dreading lest we should be pervaded by this 
 lugubrious atmosphere in any case, and wishing 
 the stick of the rocket to come down as bravely as 
 it went up, I cudgeled my brains for an antidote, 
 and finally made a trip to the city, to secure, if 
 possible, a week's visit out of my cousin James 
 Burton Jim, as his intimates always called him 
 the well-known humorist, confident that his 
 ready and ever-flowing stream of humor would 
 galvanize a corpse if necessary, and keep a house- 
 ful of merrily-disposed people such as we were, in 
 a perpetual condition of enjoyment. 
 
 While I was absent on this mission of charity, 
 another chapter of excitement was added to the
 
 UP A TREE. 
 
 chronicles of the Castle, already so well-stored 
 with interesting events ; and though absent when it 
 occurred, I had all the details afterwards from the par- 
 ticipants, and can describe it as accurately as though 
 I had been an eye-witness to the entire adventure. 
 
 It seems that after my departure, the little party 
 left behind had gathered around a blazing wood- 
 fire made in the identical fire-place which had been 
 the scene of Vivian Sylvester's abortive effort in 
 the spring the chimney, however, had since been 
 subjected to a cleaning and discussed the prob- 
 ability of Jim's engagements, always numerous, 
 permitting him to spend the week with us. He was 
 a general favorite with the party, and many and 
 sincere were the hopes expressed that such might 
 prove to be the case. 
 
 After exhausting this subject, they began to 
 weary of the hours and tried a game of lawn tennis 
 for diversion ; somehow, even this old stand-by 
 failed to amuse, and the lunch-bell was welcomed 
 with avidity. Over this meal they dawdled as 
 long as possible, in a vain endeavor to kill time, 
 which, for some reason or other, persistently refused 
 to be massacred. 
 
 All things have an end, however, and they found
 
 178 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 themselves presently with a long afternoon on 
 their hands, and nothing to do. 
 
 " Heigh-ho ! " sighed Burr, " this is lively ; some- 
 thing must be done, or we'll all die of our own 
 stupidity. Are there any volunteers for a nutting 
 party ? " 
 
 Vi and Dolly welcomed the idea with greedy 
 avidity, and the trio set out on their excursion, 
 plentifully armed with a large bag to hold the fruits 
 of their industry ; for being city-bred, they were 
 blissfully oblivious of the fact, that, in the usual 
 course of events, nuts are not ready for picking in 
 the early days of September. 
 
 Mrs. B. watched their departure sadly, but was 
 unable to accompany them, for she had some let- 
 ters on her conscience which she had resolutely 
 resolved to work off that day, and Mabel was -lying 
 down, an attitude she assumed so frequently as to 
 suggest the appropriateness of placing one of those 
 marble saints lying prone on their backs, which 
 one sees so often in old grave-yards, over her 
 remains when she should finally wing her flight to 
 that heaven towards which her eyes were so fre- 
 quently turned in life. 
 
 The nutting-party had a delightful time of it
 
 UP A TREE. I/Q 
 
 wandering through the woods, vainly looking for 
 nuts, but gathering fall leaves and ferns in their 
 stead, and rejoicing that they had found such a 
 pleasant way of breaking the tedious monotony of 
 the day. The enterprise was not by any means 
 lacking in incident before they came to the climax 
 of the day's excitement, for a harmless garter- 
 snake chanced to raise his shiny little head in 
 their pathway, and to Vi and Dolly's admiration, 
 was doughtily attacked and slain by the gallant 
 Burr, with the assistance of a big stone. 
 
 There is a peculiar antipathy between women 
 and snakes, which probably owes its existence to 
 the original encounter between Eve and the ser- 
 pent, in which the former was so badly worsted. 
 
 In obedience, probably, to this sentiment of ven- 
 erable origin, Burr's companions, especially rosy 
 little Dolly, were put entirely out of countenance 
 with the woods by the encounter with the scaly 
 reptile, and unanimously voted for a speedy escape 
 into open fields. 
 
 Dolly was certain she felt one of the blood- 
 thirsty monsters twisting and twining around her 
 ankle at that very particular moment, and urged 
 upon the rest the expediency of rapid flight. Not
 
 i8o POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 wishing to turn back over the ground already 
 covered, they hastened their forward steps and 
 were soon extricated from their dire peril by com- 
 ing upon an orchard, which, being only sparsely 
 covered with trees, fully met the ladies' approval 
 as an ark of safety. 
 
 The next thing to do was to pay their devoirs to 
 the fruit, which, in various stages of partial ripe- 
 ness, abounded around them. Not having the 
 same wholesome terror of cholera which they had 
 of snakes, they proceeded to the performance of 
 this duty and ate to their heart's content. 
 
 This made Burr lazy, and he climbed up into the 
 forked branches of a comfortable-looking apple 
 tree, and gave himself up to reflection, while the 
 girls wandered off in different directions in search 
 of ferns and grasses. 
 
 Naturally, his meditations took the direction of 
 his heart, and he indulged in day-dreams of the 
 bliss in store for him when Vi should abandon her 
 present attitude of defiance if she ever did 
 and consent to make him happy. 
 
 He had almost lost himself in fond imaginings 
 of this nature, when a shriek of absolute agony 
 from Dolly caused him to raise his -eyes. - The hor-
 
 UP A TREE. iSl 
 
 rible scene on which they alighted almost froze 
 him stiff with horror. 
 
 This is what he saw : at what seemed a terrible 
 distance, was Vi, her hat off, her beautiful hair 
 hanging loose behind her, flying towards him at 
 the top of her speed, pale and almost breathless with 
 running, while tearing after her, and gaining fear- 
 fully at every bound, was an infuriated bull bel- 
 lowing outrageously, and rendered furious, probably, 
 by the sight of the red cashmere dress which she 
 wore, while behind a neighboring hedge crouched 
 poor Dolly, watching the chase, perfectly frantic 
 with terror, but unable to render any assistance. 
 
 It was a race of life or death ; that no one could 
 doubt who looked once upon that merciless pur- 
 suer. 
 
 Vi looked like a picture of a flying nymph. Not 
 a sound came from the brave girl's lips. She evi- 
 dently knew that all her breath would be needed 
 for her escape if, indeed, escape were possible 
 with that terrible monster gaining upon her so 
 rapidly and husbanded her strength accordingly. 
 
 The desperation of the moment, the very neces- 
 sity for instantaneous action, nerved Burr into a 
 complete sense of the situation and its needs.
 
 1 82 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 His quick eye measured the distance between 
 Vi and the protecting hedge towards which she 
 was running. Could she make the distance in 
 time ? No : it was clearly hopeless, and but one 
 terribly slender chance remained. 
 
 " Here, Vi ! " he shouted. " In God's name, 
 here ! " 
 
 Without an instant's hesitation, with full faith 
 in the voice that bade her come, Vi obeyed, and 
 saved her life. 
 
 She reached him just in time, for, as he pulled 
 her up into the tree beside him with a strength 
 that never comes except in just such an emergency, 
 the bull rushed under them with a terrific bellow 
 at being balked of his prey. 
 
 " O God, I thank thee ! " murmured Burr de- 
 voutly, overcome for a moment at the near peril 
 and narrow escape through which the woman he 
 loved better than self, better than life, had passed. 
 
 Then, recovering himself, he called to the para- 
 lyzed Dolly to run for assistance, for the exasper- 
 ated bull was still bellowing and tossing up the sod 
 in his rage, and manifested every intention of 
 beseiging the tree and starving out the garrison. 
 
 Having seen Dolly start off on her mission, he
 
 UP A TREE. 183 
 
 turned calmly around to Vi who had not yet recov- 
 ered her breath or her roses, and said as naturally 
 as though the whole thing were some new kind of 
 game : 
 
 " Well, Vi, we're up a tree ! " 
 
 " O Burr ! you have saved my life." 
 
 " Now, isn't that regular woman's logic ? 
 How can you possibly tell but what that old 
 bellowing machine might have respected your per- 
 son at the last minute ? Perhaps reflectively -r- 
 he only wanted the ribbon out of your back-hair. 
 I simply helped you to climb up a tree, and all you 
 owe me is a polite ' thank you kindly, sir,' for my 
 considerate attention." 
 
 " O Burr," besought Vi, " don't joke about it. 
 If you could only know what a warm feeling of 
 gratitude I have towards you for your courage, 
 your presence of mind, your" and poor Vi broke 
 down and sobbed as though her heart would break. 
 
 " Now don't you take it so seriously, little girl. 
 If you feel so strongly over it, you might present 
 me with a medal with a bull rampant on one side, 
 and ' Bully for you,' on the other." 
 
 This persistent joking effectually silenced poor 
 little Vi, whose tender heart was fairly overflowing
 
 1 84 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 with love for One who apparently refused to accept 
 it. 
 
 Now it is very evident that had Burr pressed his 
 suit at that moment, when for once the barriers 
 of pride were broken down, instead of deliberately 
 warding off the blessings so freely off ered though 
 it almost tore his heart-strings out to do it, poor 
 fellow ! and persisting in treating the rescue as a 
 joke, he would have stood no risk of a refusal. 
 He knew this as well as you do, and it was that 
 knowledge which elevated his conduct above the 
 heroic, and made it sublime. 
 
 For it must be remembered that Burr Curtis 
 had as fine and true a sense of chivalry as ever 
 beat in the heart of a true gentleman from the 
 days of Charlemagne down to our prosaic age ; and 
 to have made or accepted any overtures from Vi 
 which might have sprung from gratitude, he would 
 have regarded as simply and purely dishonor. This 
 was the motive which governed his action and pre- 
 vented him, as God knows he was sorely tempted, 
 from seizing Vi in his arms, and then and there 
 carrying his happiness by storm. 
 
 In his eagerness not to yield to temptation, how- 
 ever, he went so far the other way that poor Vi
 
 UP A TREE. 185 
 
 made up her mind she had worn out his love, and 
 in proportion as she suffered, so did her pride 
 come to the rescue, and she nerved herself to act 
 after his own pattern. 
 
 "That tender-hearted little creature seems to 
 have lost something," said Burr after a pause. 
 
 Vi started. She had not recovered from the pail 
 of cold water he had thrown over her advances, 
 and for a moment positively thought he referred to 
 her, and what she deemed her hopeless love. 
 
 Then seeing that he had reference to the bull, 
 who was still throwing up the sod at their feet, 
 answered absently : 
 
 "Yes ; I suppose so." 
 
 This sort of tete-a-tete was certainly rather em- 
 barrassing to both parties, so they made a grand 
 effort, and managed to converse on ordinary topics, 
 which consisted chiefly in wondering when their 
 deliverance would come. 
 
 The bull grew weary after a while of his violent 
 exercise, and stood there as quietly as a sentinel, 
 but was evidently waiting for this new kind 
 of fruit to ripen, and fall upon his impaling 
 horns. 
 
 Even his intelligent eyes seemed to fail in a
 
 1 86 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 comprehension of their conduct, and he looked up 
 at them with a wondering eye which said as 
 plainly as a bull can : 
 
 " You both appear to me to be young, and well 
 favored ; why the dickens don't you make the best 
 of the situation ? You, Wilbur Curtis, why aren't 
 you holding that girl's hand ; and you, Viola 
 Reefer, why isn't your head on that young man's 
 shoulder, as comfortably as I see the branches 
 of that tree will admit of?" 
 
 But alas ! They were deaf to all voices from 
 within and without, and the opportunity passed by 
 unimproved. 
 
 " Oh, the wasted hours of life ! " 
 
 It was such a grand opportunity too ! Surely 
 no loving couple before or since ever had a better 
 one vouchsafed them ! Completely isolated from 
 the outside world, and with such an efficient guard 
 against eavesdropping, what better chance for 
 declaring his love could the most exacting lover 
 ask ? 
 
 But it was past ; for lo ! Dolly and a couple of 
 stalwart farm-hands could be seen approaching 
 across the fields, and Burr waved his handkerchief 
 as a signal, at which the bull, misunderstanding it,
 
 UP A TREE. IS/ 
 
 perhaps, for a flag of truce, began to bellow and 
 paw the earth as lustily as ever. 
 
 " Your reign is over, my fine fellow," said Burr, 
 " and you are about to be deposed." 
 
 The truth of this was speedily verified, for the 
 farmer boys came up, and with shouts and goads, 
 forced Master Bull to raise the siege, though he did 
 it reluctantly, and with a lingering look at his 
 willsome prisoners to photograph them in his 
 memory for future destruction if he ever obtained 
 a chance at them -in a fair field and no trees. 
 
 Poor Dolly ! She had had her share of the 
 trouble too ; with an awful belief in a bull's 
 ability to climb a tree, which grew upon her as she 
 went for assistance, her fast walk became a jog, 
 her jog a run, as she sought the nearest farm- 
 house, almost half a mile distant from the scene of 
 disaster. Rushing breathlessly into the house she 
 made the following thrilling assertion : 
 
 " Two of my friends and a bull are up in a tree 
 in the orchard." 
 
 Having finally made the dazed and puzzled 
 family understand what had happened, two men 
 were dispatched to the rescue, and Dolly insisted 
 upon accompanying.
 
 1.88 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 It was not till she had Vi in her arms and made 
 sure she was alive and in the flesh, that she 
 became satisfied and at rest. 
 
 The nutting party reached home without further 
 mischance and thrilled us with an account of their 
 perils. 
 
 Vi's face had grown very pensive while Burr 
 made light of the whole affair, but from the thank- 
 ful look which came into his eyes whenever they 
 strayed in Vi's direction, I knew it had been touch 
 and go. 
 
 At supper that night I announced that " Jim " 
 would be with us on the morrow, and hearty con- 
 gratulations followed the good tidings.
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 
 
 FOR goodness sake ! Have you no regard for 
 my earsight, or do you take me for a regi- 
 ment, that I can hear you all at once, from base 
 down to falsetto ? Buzz ! buzz ! buzz ! Give a 
 fellow a show, will you, till I see if I've got this 
 thing straight. Let's see ; you go snake hunting 
 in an orchard and find a barrel of apples; then 
 Burr climbs up a bull's horn and goes to sleep. He 
 is aroused from gentle slumber by the shriek of a 
 railroad whistle, and sees Vi racing towards him 
 bellowing and pawing up buckets full of sod at 
 every bound, closely followed by an infuriated tree, 
 in a red cashmere dress, with dishevelled hair ; at 
 this critical juncture Burr sings out : 
 
 "'Don't run into the fence!' and pulls Vi up on 
 
 the unoccupied bull's horn, while two farmer boys 
 
 who have been watching the race behind a hedge, 
 
 rush after Dolly, who chops down the tree and 
 
 . ... ,89
 
 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 saves the bull's life. Wonderful ! most wonderful ! 
 My children, I weep over your escape ; such an 
 example to generations yet unborn, should not be 
 encouraged." 
 
 There was no possibility of mistaking the author 
 of this new version of the bull catastrophe. Trans- 
 plant me to Egypt, and set Jim Burton to rhapso- 
 dizing behind an obelisk anywhere within earshot, 
 and I would have no difficulty in naming the 
 speaker. 
 
 Yes; Jim was with us, and we rejoiced accord- 
 ingly. Ever since his arrival we had been convul- 
 sed with laughter, and never wearied of suggesting 
 topics for his novel method of treatment. 
 
 A star of the first magnitude before the public, 
 as his many successful appearances amply prove, it 
 was still in private life that his natural talents 
 shone with their brightest lustre, and those who 
 have known him only as Burton the humorist 
 before the foot-light, or on the lecture-stand, little 
 dream of the fund of original humor which he 
 reserves for the fireside of his own familiar friends. 
 Still less do they know of the heart of gold 
 which beats responsive to the needs of all those 
 with whom the world's buffetings brings him in
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. -19 1 
 
 contact ; for with all the stamina and sturdy inde- 
 pendence of a thorough man, Jim blends an almost 
 womanly tenderness and perception of the troubles 
 of others, and thought and action are simultaneous 
 in coming to their relief. Of course Jim is float- 
 ing comfortably along now on the crested wave of 
 success ; but it is not very long ago that he was 
 struggling along, his talents still unrecognized, in 
 that seething mass of humanity who have failed, 
 as yet, to receive the guinea stamp of public 
 approval, and I am tempted to write down two 
 little anecdotes of his life at that time, to illustrate 
 the character of this cousin of mine. 
 
 He had been South for his health one winter 
 for to his other difficulties was added that gnawing 
 and aggravating disorder, chronic rheumatism 
 and the early spring found him on the steamer, home- 
 ward bound with an empty purse, but a light heart, 
 and considerably improved in health, to fulfill his 
 spring engagements and resume his battle with the 
 world. It did not take his fellow-voyagers long, 
 you may be sure, to find out his talents, and they 
 managed to secure a whole entertainment out of 
 him every evening of the passage gratuitously 
 given, of course, for he looked upon himself as out
 
 192 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 of harness, and ever ready to oblige. One day, 
 when the trip was about half completed, Jim was 
 taking a constitutional on the deck, conning over 
 one of his pieces, when his eye chanced to alight 
 upon a man and two children all clad in deepest 
 mourning, who were seated on a bench looking 
 sadly out across the ocean. He had noticed them 
 several times before on his wanderings around the 
 ship, and wondered at their never being present at 
 the nightly gathering in the saloon. Instinctively, 
 he felt they were in great trouble, and stopping in 
 his walk he said to the father in that sympathetic 
 voice so impossible to resist : 
 
 " What's the trouble, my friend ; and how is it we 
 never see you and the little ones in Social Hall ? " 
 
 " Oh, sir," answered the man sadly, " we're in 
 no humor for company. I have just lost my wife 
 and am on my way North, without means, to try 
 and find work to support my children here." 
 
 Jim said a few encouraging words and left them, 
 feeling none the worse for the sound of a friendly 
 voice. He did not forget them, though, and that 
 night in Social Hall, as the saloon is called, before 
 beginning his usual entertainment, he told his 
 audience in a few simple, but well-chosen words, of
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 193 
 
 the distressing story he had listened to, and 
 announced his intention of taking up a contribu- 
 tion on the unfortunate man's behalf, at the con- 
 clusion of the evening. The result was a purse of 
 twenty dollars ; and when he handed it to the be- 
 reaved man and he burst into tears and words of 
 gratitude, all Jim said was : 
 
 " Pshaw ! my friend, you'd have done the same 
 for me." 
 
 At another time he was down at the Hot 
 Sulphur Springs in Arkansas, to reap the benefit 
 of the baths ; and finding they charged such exor- 
 bitant prices for everything, from a towel up, that 
 his resources wouldn't stand the shock, he resolved 
 to eke them out by giving an entertainment. 
 
 The landlord of the hotel nothing loath to have 
 amusement for his guests, gave him the use of his 
 dining-room, and it was duly placarded forth that 
 on such and such an evening Jas. Burton, the 
 humorist from New York, would give an entertain- 
 ment in the dining-room of the Spring House, at 
 fifty cents a head. 
 
 When the evening came, Jim was standing in 
 the office in regulation costume watching the 
 audience assemble, and rejoicing in the belief that
 
 194 POLLYS SCHEME. 
 
 he already had a thirty-dollar house, when all of a 
 sudden a short, thick-set little man with a bald 
 head, rushed into the office and shouted : 
 
 " Where's this James Burton the humorist ? " 
 "That's my name and occupation," said Jim 
 politely. 
 
 " The deuce it is ! Well, I'll trouble you to show 
 me your lecture license, young man." 
 "Alas ! I am not a licensed vender." 
 " You're not, eh ? Humph ! Well, I'll trouble 
 you for fifty dollars to pay your fine with, then, for 
 advertising a pay show without license, subject to 
 thirty days' arrest for non-payment." 
 
 Here was a quandary with a vengeance. An 
 audience waiting, fifty dollars fine to pay, arrest 
 staring him in the face, and ten dollars in his 
 pocket. 
 
 " Who are you, sir ? " said Jim politely, after a 
 pause. 
 
 "I am the Mayor of this town, young man." 
 "Well, Mr. Mayor, to tell the solemn truth, I 
 haven't fifty dollars in the world ; but I think I can 
 make it this evening. Will your Honor permit me 
 to go on with the entertainment, and pay the fine 
 afterward ? "
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 195 
 
 This was novel, but perfectly in accord with 
 Western ideas of justice, and the Mayor readily 
 yielded the point. 
 
 " And be sure to come yourself and bring your 
 family," said Jim, handing him some tickets. After 
 the third piece, sure enough, in walked the Mayor 
 with his wife and offspring. Shows were a rarity 
 in Arkansas, and curiosity proved too strong for the 
 maintenance of his official dignity. 
 
 From that moment, Jim recited directly at that 
 stern arbiter of his fate, and success attended his 
 efforts. 
 
 The Mayor ha-ha'd louder than any one else in 
 the audience over the comic sketches, and wiped 
 his eyes over the pathetic ones, until it seemed as 
 though they must be full of cinders ; and Jim felt 
 that he had him safe. 
 
 At the conclusion of the entertainment, the first 
 one to meet him on coming out of the room was 
 the worthy Mayor. 
 
 " Oh ! " said Jim, "you're after that fine." 
 
 " Deuce take the fine ! I want you to under- 
 stand, young man, that you won't require any 
 license in this town until after another election 
 for Mayor ; and my wife wants you to come to
 
 196 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 dinner to-morrow. Six sharp ! Understand ? " 
 
 Such was Jim Burton. He and Burr are my two 
 most intimate and cared-for friends ; and I doubt if 
 any one can produce a stronger team. 
 
 After the others had almost torn him limb from 
 limb in their zeal and eagerness to tell him all the 
 news, I managed to push him bodily into a room, 
 and by locking and barricading the door, secured 
 half an hour of his society to myself. He was very 
 much interested in hearing about the workings 
 of the cooperative plan, and delighted to learn of 
 the success which had attended the experiment. 
 Among the rest, I related all the details of the Vi 
 and Burr romance, and the unsatisfactory state of 
 affairs which existed in what was once a bud of 
 such unusual promise. 
 
 "Not reconciled yet, eh? By all that's good 
 and beautiful, that is too bad ! Say, George, I'll try 
 my hand at helping these silly folks out the ditch 
 if you say so." 
 
 " I ask nothing better, my dear fellow," I replied; 
 " but I warn you in advance that the angel Gabriel 
 in person couldn't bring about a reconciliation." 
 
 "Well, it won't break any bones to try," said he; 
 and so it was agreed that he should try the effect
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 1 97 
 
 of his diplomacy and see what it would accomplish, 
 though I must confess that my faith was consider- 
 ably less than a grain of mustard-seed. 
 
 There was to be a hop at the Templeton that 
 evening the scene of my own and poor Burr's 
 abortive strategy and we had chartered a stage 
 to take us there ; for no other form of amusement 
 presented itself, and we felt that we ought to do 
 something unusual to celebrate Jim's arrival. As 
 it turned out, however, we might better have 
 remained at home ; for, of all the stupid affairs I 
 ever attended, that hop took the palm. 
 
 Being late in the season, almost every one in- 
 cluding a majority of the band members had left ; 
 and the ball-room reminded one of " some banquet 
 hall deserted," too strongly for any great amount 
 of festivity. As it was, we were glad to call up 
 our stage and depart after the first dance a lugubri- 
 ous lancers waded through in such solemn fashion 
 that the dance of death would be cheerful in com- 
 parison. 
 
 It took us some time to recover our spirits, and 
 it was not till we arrived at the Castle and Jim had 
 given us some of his side-splitting sketches, that we 
 really felt ourselves again. The last piece he
 
 198 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 recited that night and his voice grew very tender 
 as he lingered over the lines was Jean Ingelow's 
 Divided, one of the most natural and touching 
 descriptions of a lover's quarrel ever written, and 
 when he finished, all our eyes were moist, while a 
 sort of tender light flickered for a moment over the 
 faces of Vi and Burr and then went out again, but 
 left a softened expression behind it. 
 
 I knew right well what prompted the selection of 
 piece, and began to hope that, after all, Jim might 
 find a solution of the difficulty. 
 
 How pleasantly those last few evenings passed ! 
 We used to gather around a cheerful wood-fire for 
 the nights had grown chilly and alternately listen 
 to Jim's pieces and go over past scenes till mid- 
 night. Sometimes Jim would take the cover off 
 his banjo and play by the hour, one moment accom- 
 panying himself as he sang some popular air of the 
 day, the next drawing soft dreamy sounds from 
 his instrument as he touched one delicious chord 
 after the other, while we listened entranced by the 
 music he produced. 
 
 It seemed as though the music and the mellow, 
 fitful light from the old-fashioned fire-place we 
 discarded lamps on these occasions recalled ten-
 
 THK CURTAIN FALLS. 199 
 
 * 
 
 der memories of past scenes, and of those who had 
 once been part of our chaplet. The Hill wigs with 
 their genial smiles, poor Mortimer and his unfortu- 
 nate love, and even the Thompsons came in for 
 many a good word in those evening stances over 
 the warmth of the blazing logs. 
 
 Jim gave us his evenings cheerfully, but his days 
 were passed chiefly in his room, over some work 
 of a private nature, requiring solitude, apparently, 
 for its performance ; and as soon as we found out 
 that he really desired it, we left him alone and un- 
 molested. This seclusion used to puzzle me con- 
 siderably, for I knew he made a point of never 
 studying his pieces when on a visit, and I felt cer- 
 tain that his hours of solitude would bear fruit be- 
 fore he left ; and so they did. 
 
 About three days before the break-up, when the 
 flurry of preparation had already made itself felt in 
 the land, Jim came to me one morning and said : 
 
 " George, I want you to make up a party this 
 afternoon for a walk, leaving the Martin girls out. 
 I have a special object in view." 
 
 " All right," said I, wondering what in the world 
 he was up to. 
 
 In accordance with Jim's request, I worked for
 
 2OO POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 the party he required, and fortune favored me ; for 
 the Martin girls went to the village right after 
 lunch. 
 
 The walking-party wandered all over the well- 
 known grounds, each spot of which had its associ- 
 ations, taking a final look at each familiar object, 
 until weary and depressed at the prospect of leav- 
 ing all its charms behind us, we threw ourselves 
 down in the warm sunlight and looked silently and 
 dreamily out on the sound. 
 
 " Give us a recitation, Jim," sighed Mrs. B., after 
 a long pause. 
 
 " Oh, do ! " chorused the rest eagerly. 
 
 "Something pathetic," added Vi, flashing her 
 dark gray eyes beseechingly upon him. 
 
 " Well, if you'll excuse the conceit of an author 
 vending his own wares, I believe I'll read you a 
 little composition of my own," responded Jim to 
 our appeal, drawing a manuscript from his pocket 
 as he spoke. "It is entitled SheatJiing the 
 Sword." 
 
 " How nice ! " ejaculated the ladies ; and Jim 
 opened his manuscript. 
 
 His composition began with the time-honored 
 fairy lore introduction, "Once upon a time." It
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 2OI 
 
 was written in prose, but truer poetry in the proper 
 meaning of the word, was never penned than fell 
 in softly-modulated accents from Jim's lips, as we 
 sat there by the sound, that lovely autumn afternoon. 
 
 Before he had read ten lines I knew it was the 
 story of Vi and Burr their love and estrangement ; 
 and Jim's recent craving to be alone was a mystery 
 no longer. As he went on they all recognized the 
 personal application of his story, in spite of its 
 veiling of time, place and person. 
 
 He touched lightly and humorously on the cause 
 of the estrangement, just lingering long enough to 
 demonstrate the folly in which it had its origin, 
 and then went on to speak of the deep, true love 
 each felt for the other through it all ; " though the 
 lowering clouds descended upon them, and hid 
 their love from each other's sight, and the dreary, 
 misty rain of doubt strove to wash it out of exist- 
 ence, but when the clouds and the mists vanished, 
 the mountains remained, and so did their love, for, 
 like the mountains, it was fixed and immortal." 
 
 Oh, the exquisitely tender tones of his voice as 
 it rose and fell over this part of his story ! It was 
 like an inspired' musician striking chords never 
 heard before by mortal ear.
 
 2O2 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 Jim had found the most attentive audience of his 
 life. Tears found their way unbidden to our eyes ; 
 and when, after a long misunderstanding, he fin- 
 ished up with a reconciliation, equally affecting and 
 tender, not a word marred the silence which fol- 
 lowed. 
 
 Vi, her beautiful head bent down to conceal all 
 she felt, half-raised her hand and then let it fall 
 again at her side. 
 
 Quick as the action was, however, Burr saw it, 
 and with a cry of " Vi, my own darling!" he sprang 
 to her side, and took her unresisting hand in his. 
 
 "I've I've seventy-two little minds to to 
 forgive you, Burr," she half-sobbed, half-laughed as 
 he followed up his advances by taking her in his 
 arms, whence she was never more to escape. 
 
 It was laughable to see Vi sticking to the letter, 
 even in her concessions, and Jim, springing briskly 
 to his feet, exclaimed : 
 
 " Say, Polly B., where's that magnificent ruin 
 you promised to show me ? There doesn't seem to 
 be anything very ruinous about here ! " and we left 
 the lovers alone in their newly-found rapture. 
 
 So the romance came to a satisfactory conclusion, 
 after all ; and as I looked back through the trees,
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 2O3 
 
 and saw proud but tender Vi's little head fall on 
 Burr's willing shoulder, I blessed the stars which 
 had brought Jim Burton to the rescue. 
 
 Perhaps the lovers didn't go through an ordeal 
 of teasing that night when they came home late for 
 dinner ! Vi, blushing like an Italian sunset, and 
 Burr trying to look as though he hadn't just come 
 into an immense fortune ; and perhaps that bulletin- 
 board wasn't put at their sole and absolute disposal 
 during the remainder of our stay at Maple Grove ; 
 and perhaps Frederick William didn't score a hit 
 the next evening, when Mary Cecilia brought him 
 into the parlor for his regular good-night kiss all 
 around, by saying suddenly : " Oh, mamma ! I saw 
 uncle Burr tiss aunt Vi in the hammock this 
 morning." Perhaps not ! 
 
 Saturday morning was to witness the fall of the 
 curtain on our little summer drama, and Friday 
 afternoon the Hillwigs drove up from the city, 
 having returned from Canada earlier than they 
 intended, especially to take p#rt with us in the cere- 
 monies of the last night at Maple Grove. 
 
 Vi was duly congratulated on her engagement, 
 though when asked whether her mother had been 
 informed of her rash step, she was obliged to plead
 
 2O4 POLLY S SCHEME. 
 
 guilty, and admit that Burr had thought it better 
 for him to see her first, whereupon May Hillwig 
 declared that the members of the Reefer family 
 were famous for rushing into anything like mad, 
 and then consulting " mamma " afterwards, to 
 which Vi retorted that she had only followed in the 
 footsteps of her illustrious sister, and May was 
 silenced ; for it was not till Hillwig cabled over from 
 Europe for her hand, that Mrs. Reefer learned of 
 the romance between her and her German lover. 
 The arrival of the Hillwigs completed the original 
 party of cooperators, with the exception of the 
 Thompsons, whose loss was more than compen- 
 sated for* by the addition of the lovers and the 
 Martin girls, to say nothing of Jim, who was a host 
 in himself, and we resolved to bring our summer 
 to a fitting conclusion. 
 
 In pursuance of this resolution, Jim and I made a 
 glorious bowl of lemonade, while Mary Cecilia con- 
 tributed a juicy oyster pie of generous proportions 
 to the occasion. 
 
 "The cooperative plan," shouted Burr as soon 
 as the glasses were filled ; " may it bloom afresh 
 every summer!" 
 
 " Gracious, man ! " queried Jim. " Aren't you
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 2O$ 
 
 satisfied yet ? Do you want a fresh wife every 
 year? " 
 
 Alternate applause and laughter greeted the 
 sentiment and the sally which followed it, and it 
 was agreed on all hands that the cooperative plan 
 had been a success and had led to a summer of 
 unprecedented enjoyment. " Our lovers " was the 
 next toast, and Burr was called upon to respond, 
 which he did very successfully, considering his 
 personal interest in the toast, though Jim did 
 beseech him to secure the services of a friend next 
 time he was called upon. Altogether, the evening 
 was as pleasant as any of its predecessors, and 
 made it harder than ever to part with each other ; 
 but alas ! all things especially the good ones 
 have an end upon this under globe, and the 
 following morning the much-dreaded parting came. 
 
 With a sigh, perchance a tear, we bade farewell 
 to each other and the Castle, and our paths 
 which had lain side by side for a brief season, 
 diverged, perhaps never again to meet. 
 
 It was satisfactory, at any rate, to feel that for 
 once the assertion that one roof can only afford 
 harmonious shelter to one family, had been proven 
 a fallacy.
 
 2o6 POLLY'S SCHEME. 
 
 
 
 Burr and Vi are going to be married in the 
 spring, with Mrs. Reefer's hearty approval and 
 sanction. 
 
 Vi writes that she has the famous letter, and 
 threatens Burr with a quotation every time he 
 grows contumacious ; and she adds : 
 
 " I have dear old Jim's composition too, SJieatJi- 
 ing the Sword, which brought me my happiness, 
 and I shall never part with it as long as I live, 
 never ! " 
 
 Dolly is engaged to be married to a " big blonde," 
 and Annie is going to live with her. How Morti- 
 mer views the arrangement, and whether he still 
 wears a horseshoe shirt pattern, I have never been 
 able to ascertain. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Irving are progressing nicely, 
 though Mabel still feels faint occasionally. 
 
 Burr's practice is continually on the increase, 
 and Vi makes him spend every evening with her, 
 as she says such a wild young fellow is not to be 
 trusted. However, as he doesn't complain, it is 
 fair to presume that he finds his yoke easy to bear. 
 
 As for the Hill wigs, Mrs. B. keeps getting 
 letters from May, urging us to take a flat in the 
 same building with them, and suggesting the
 
 THE CURTAIN FALLS. 2QJ 
 
 advisability of our giving a dual donation party, 
 and inviting all our friends the cooperators, of 
 course, among the first to come and bring some- 
 thing with them. 
 
 Was " Polly's scheme " a success or a failure ?