mS^gSagBM LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA. ^ ^^ ^j^:'^,^W' ^^C ,><^^- ^m^:^.t: 1^ iMkJfi jgp^j li^3 sQ |mk mJR J9E| P i i l^nu ^^ ragM ^ p H^R Hn^ ^ y ml3 m iniifc-f ^4'i^^a^. ntiiftan Sfliifi OO Vf O R 1872 H V M O R S LOOKING Glafse. LONDON. mprinted by Ed. Allde for William Fere- brand and are to be fold at his Shop in the popes-head Pallace, right oner a- gainfl the Tauerne-dore. 1608. To his verie Lotcing Friend M after George Lee. Esteemed friend, I pray thee take it kittde, That outward a5lion beares an inward minde, What obie6ls heere thefe papers do delitier, Bejlow the viewing of them for tJu giuer. I make thee a partaker of flrange fights, Drawne atttique works of hnmonrs vaine delights. A mirrour of the mad cojiceited fhapes, Of this our ages giddy-headed apes, Thefe fafJi' on mongers, felfe befotted men Of kindred to thefowle that wore iHy pen, Are at an howers warning to appear e. And mufter in fixe fheetes of Paper heere. And this is all at this time I befiow, To euidence a greater loue I owe. Yours Samvel rowlandj. A 2 07601 Reader. A S many antique faces paffe, -^^■From Barbers chaire vnto his glaffe, There to beholde their kinde of trim, And how they are reform'd by him. Or at Exchang where Marchants greete, Confufion of the tongues do meete, As EngliJItf French, Italia?!, Dutch, Spanish, and Scofsh, with diuers fuch. So from the Preffe thefe papers come To fhow the humorous fhapes of fome. Heere are fuch faces good and bad, As in a Barbers fhop are had, And heere are tongues of diuers kindes, According to the fpeakers mindes. Beholde their fafhions, heare their voice. And let difcretion make thy choice. SaMVELL ROWLANDS. Some Epigram. Ome man that to contention is inclin'de ; ^^With any thing he fees, a fault wil finde, As, that is not fo good, the fame's amiffe, 1 haue no great affe6lion vnto this. Now I proteft I doe not like the fame. This muft be mended, that deferueth blame, It were farre better fuch a thing were out, This is obfcure, and that's as full of doubt. And much adoe, and many words are fpent In finding out the path that humours went, And for dire6lion to that Idle way Onely a bufie tongue bears all the fway. The difh that Aefope did commend for beft; Is now a dales in wonderfull requeft. But if you finde fault on a certaine ground, Weele fall to mending when the fault is found, A 3 Pra'y Epigram, PRa'y by your leaue, make moufieur humors roome That oft hath walk'd about Duke Humphries And fat amongft the Knights to fee a play, (tombe And gone in's fuite of Sattin eu'ry day^ And had his hat difplay a bufliie plume, And's verie beard deliuer forth perfume. But when was this ? aske Frier Bacons head That anfwered Time is pajl, O time is fled! Sattin and filke was pawned long agoe, And now in canuafe, no knight can him knowe. His former ftate, in dark obliuion fleepes, Onely Paules Gallarie, that walke he keepes. Epigram, CRoffe not my humor, with an ill plac'd worde, For if thou doeft, behold my fatall fworde : Do'ft fee my countenance begin looke red? Let that fore-tell ther's furie in my hed. A little difcontent will quickely heate it. Touch not my flake, thou wert as good to eate it, Thefe damned dice how curfed they deuoure : I loft fome halfe fcore pound in halfe an houre, A bowle A bowle of wine, firha : you villaine, fill : Who drawes it Rafcall? call me hether Will. You Rogue, what ha'ft to Supper for my dyet ? Tern me of Butchers meate? knaue I defie it. He haue a banquet to enuite an Earle, A Phoenix boyld in broth diftil'd in Pearle. Holde drie this leafe, a candle quickly bring, He take one pipe to bed, none other thing. Thus with Tabacco he will fup to night: Flefti-meate is heauie, and his purfe is light. Epigram. TWo Gentlemen of hot and fierie fprite, Tooke boate, and went vp Weftward to goe fight Imbarked both, for Wenf-worth they fet faile, And there ariuing with a happie gaile, The Water-men difcharged for their fare, . Then to be parted, thus their mindes declare. Pray Ores (faid they) ftay heere and come not nie. We goe to fight a little, but heere by. The Water-men with ftaues did follow then. And cryd, oh holde your hands good Gentlemen, You know the danger of the law, forbeare : So they put weapons vp and fell to fweare. One Epigram. ONe of thefe Cuccold-making Queanes did graft her hufbands head : who arm'd with anger, fteele and home would kill him flain'd his bed. And challeng'd him vnto the field, Vowing to haue his life. Where being met, firha (quoth he,) I doe fufpefl my Wife Is fcarce fo honeft as fhe fhould, You make of her fome vfe : Indeed faid he I loue her well. He frame no falfe excufe. O! d'ye confeffe? by heauens (quoth he) Had'ft thou deni'de thy guilt, This blade had gone into thy guts, Euen to the verie Hilt. Occafion. Epigram. /'^Ccafion late was miniftred for one to trie his friend, ^-^ Ten pounds he did intreathim y*of all louehewould His cafewasanaccurfed cafe, no comfort tobe found, (led Vnles he friendly drew his purfe, & bleft him with te poud He did proteft he had it not, making a folemne vow. He wated means & money both, to do him pleafure now. The fir (quoth he) you know I haue a Gelding I loue wel, Necefiitie it hath no law, I muft my Gelding fell, I haue bin offered twelue for him, with ten ile be cotent, Well I will trie a friend (faid he,) it was his cheft he ment. So fe6lch'd the money prefently,tother fees Angels fhine Now God amercyhorfe (quoth he) thy credit's more then (mine. B Dice Epigram. Dice diuing deepe into a Ruffians purfe, Leauing it nothing worth but ftrings and leather : He prefently did fall to fweare and curfe, That's life and money he would loofe together, Tooke of his hat, and fwore, let me but fee What Rogue dares fay this fame is blacke to me? Another loft, and he did money lacke, And thus his furie in a heate reuiues: Where is that Rogue denies his hat is blacke? He fight with him, had he ten thoufand Hues. Oh fir (quoth he) in troth you come too late, Choller is paft, my anger's out of date. Epigram. AKinde of London-v^diSkQX in a boote, (Not George a Horfe-backe, but a Gerge a foote,) On eu'ry day you meete him through the yeare, For's bootes and fpurs, a horfe-man doth appeare. Was met with, by an odde conceited ftranger, Who friendly told him that he walk'd in danger. For For Sir (in kindenes no way to offend you) There is a warrant foorth to apprehend you. Th'offence they fay, you riding through thee ftreete, Haue kil'd a Childe, vnder your Horfes feete. Sir I proteft (quoth he) they doe me wrong, I haue not back'd a horfe, God knows how long, , What flaues be thefe, they haue me falfe bely'd? He prooue this twelue-month I did neuer ride. Epigram. T J'\ /"Hat feather'd fowle is this that doth approach V V As if it were an EJlredge in a Coach } Three yards of feather round about her hat, And in her hand a bable like to that : As full of Birdes attire, as Owle, or Goofe, And like vnto her gowne, her felfe feemes loofe. Cri'ye mercie Ladie, lewdnes are you there? Light feather'd ftuffe befits you befl to weare. B 2 A Poore « A deafe eare^ in a iujl caufe. (flate, APoore man came vnto a ludge&fhew'd his wronged Entreating him for lefus fake to be compaffionate, Thewrogs were great he did fuflaine,he had no help at al The ludge fat ftil as if the man had fpoken to the wall. With that came two rude fellows in,tohauea matter tride About an Affe,that one had let the other for to ride: (by, Which Affe the owner found in field, as he by chance paft And he that hired him a fleepe did in the fhadow lye. For which he would be fatisfied,his beaft was but to ride : And for the fhadow of his Affe, he would be paid befide. Great raging words, and damned othes, tliefe two affe-wrangles fwore, (fore Whe prefently the ludge ftart vp, that feem'd a fleep be- And heard y' follies willingly of thefe two fottifti men, But bad the poore mancomeagaine,he had noleafurethe. A lolly xz Epigram. A lolly fellow Effex borne and bred, - A Farmers Sonne, his Father being dead, T'expell his griefe and melancholly pafsions, Had vowd himfelfe to trauell and fee fafhions. His great mindes obie6l was no trifling toy, But to put downe the wandring Prince of Troy. Londons difcouerie firfl he doth decide, His man muft be his Pilot and his guide. Three miles he had not pafl, there he muft fit : He ask't if he were not neere London yet } His man replies good Sir your felfe befturre, For we haue yet to goe fixe times as farre. Alas I had rather flay at home and digge, I had not thought the worlde was halfe fo bigge. Thus this great worthie comes backe (thoewith flrife) He neuer was fo farre in all his life. None of the feauen worthies : on his behalfe, Say, was not he a worthie Effex Calfe ? B 3 A Gentleman. •»3 The Humors that haunt a Wife. A Gentleman -a verie friend of mine, Hath a young wife and fhe is monftrous fine, Shee's of the new fantaftique humor right, In her attire an angell of the light. Is fhe an Angell? I: it may be well, Not of the light, fhe is a light Angell. Forfooth his doore mull fufifer alteration, To entertaine her mightie huge Bom-fafhion, A hood's to bafe, a hat which fhe doth male. With braueft feathers in the Eftridge tayle. She fcornes to treade our former proud wiues traces. That put their glory in their on faire faces, In her conceit it is not faire enough. She muft reforme it with her painters ftuffe. And fhe is neuer merry at the heart, Till file be got into her leatherne Cart. Some halfe amile the Coach-man guides the raynes. Then home againe, birladie fhe takes paines. My friend feeing what humours haunt a wife, If he were loofe would lead a fmgle life. Next 1-4 A poore Mans pollicy. NExt I will tell you of a poore mans tricke, Which he did pra<5life with a polliticke, This poore man had a Cow twas all his flocke, Which on the Commons fed: where Catell flocke, The other had a fleere a wanton Beaft, Which he did turne to feede amongft the reft. Which in proceffe although I know not how, The rich mans Oxe did gore the poore mans Cow. The poore man heereat vexed waxed fad, For it is all the liuing that he had, And he muft loofe his liuing for a fong, Alas he knew not how to right his wrong. He knew his enemie had pointes of law, To faue his purfe, fill his deuouring mawe. Yet thought the poore man how fo it betide. He make him giue right fentence on my fide. Without delay vnto the Man he goes. And vnto him this fayned tale doth gloze, (Quoth he) my Cow which with your Oxe did feede, Hath kild your Oxe and I make knowne the deede. Why (quoth my Politique) thou fhouldfl haue helpt it Thou fhalt pay for him if thow wert my father, (rather, The 15 The courfe of law in no wife mufl be ftayde, Leaft I an euill prefident be made. Sir (quoth he) I cry you mercy now, 1 did miftake, your Oxe hath gorde my Cow : Conui6l by reafon he began to brawle, But was content to let his a6lion fall. As why.^ (quoth he) thou lookft vnto her well, Could I preuent the mifchiefe that befell ? I haue more weightie caufes now to trie, Might orecomes right without a reafon why. Epigram. ONe of the damned crew that Hues by drinke, And by Tobacco's ftillified flink, Met with a Country man that dwelt at Hull : Thought he this pefant's fit to be my Gull. His firft falute like to the French-mans wipe, Wordes of encounter, pleafe you take a pipe? The Countrie man amazed at this rabble, Knewe not his minde yet would be conformable. Well, in a petty Ale-houfe they enfconce His Gull muft learne to drinke Tobacco once. i6 Indeede his purpofe was to make a ieft, How with Tobacco he the peafant draft. Hee takes a whiffe, with arte into his head, The other ftandeth ftill aftonifhed. Till all his fences he doth backe reuoake, Sees it afcend much like Saint Katherins fmoake. But this indeede made him the more admire, He faw the fmoke : thought he his head's a fier, And to increafe his feare he thought poore foule, His fcarlet nofe had been a firie cole. Which circled round with fmoak, feemed to him Like to fome rotten brand that burneth dim. But to fhew wifdome in a defperat cafe. He threw a Can of beere into his face, And like a man fome furie did infpire, Ran out of doores for helpe to quench the fire. The Ruffin throwes away his Trinidado, Out comes huge oathes and then his fhort poynado, But then the Beere fo troubled his eyes, The countrieman was gone ere he could rife, A fier to drie him, he doth now require, Rather than water for to quench his fire. C Come n Epigram. ^~^ Ome my braue gallant come, vncafe, vncafe, ^^-^ ^Nere fhall obliuion your great a6les deface. He has been there where neuer man came yet, An vnknowne countrie, I, ile warrant it, Whence he could Ballace a good fhip in holde, With Rubies, Saphiers, Diamonds and golde, Great Orient Pearles efteem'd no more then moates, Sould by the pecke as chandlers m.efure oates, I meruaile then we haue no trade from thence : O tis too farre it will not beare expence. T'were far indeede, a good way from our mayne, If charges eate vp fuch excefsiue gaine. Well he can fhew you fome of Lybian grauell, that there were another world to trauell, 1 heard him fweare that hee (twas in his mirth) Had been in all the corners of the earth. Let iS Let all his wonders be together flitcht. He threw the barre that great Alcides pitcht: But he that faw the Oceans farthefl flrands, You pofe him if you aske where Douer ftands. He has been vnder ground and hell did fee, Aeneas nere durft goe fo farre as hee. For he has gone through Plutces Regiment, Saw how the Fiendes doe Lyers there torment. And how they did in helles damnation frye. But who would thinke the Traueller would lye ? To dine with Pluto he was made to tarrie, As kindly vs'd as at his Ordinarie. Hogfheades of wine drawne out into a Tub, Where he did drinke hand-fmooth with Belzebuh, And Proferpine gaue him a goulden bow, Tis in his cheft he cannot Ihew it now. C 2 One toulde 19 Of 07ie that coufned the Cut-purfe. ONe toulde a Drouer that beleeu'd it not, What booties at the playes the Cut-purfe got, But if t'were fo my Drouers wit was quicke, He vow'd to feme the Cut-purfe a new tricke. Next day vnto the play, pollicy hy'd, A bag of fortie fhillings by his fide. Which houlding faft he taketh vp his ftand. If ffcringes be cut his purfe is in his hand. A fine conceited Cut-purfe fpying this, Lookt for no more, the for fhilh'ngs his, Whilfl my fine Politique gazed about, The Cut-purfe feately tooke the bottom out. And cuts the firings, good foole goe make a ieft, This Difmall day thy purfe was fairely bleft. Houlde faft good Noddy tis good to dreade the worfe> Your monie's gone, I pray you keepe your purfe. The play is done and foorth the foole doth goe, Being glad that he coufned the Cut-purfe foe. He thought to iybe how he the Cut-purfe dreft. And memorize it for a famous ieft. But putting in his hand it ran quite throw Dafh't the conceite, heele neuer fpeake on't now, You that to playes haue fuch delight to goe. The Cut-purfe cares not, ftill deceiue him fo. Dicke, A drunkest fray . DIcke met with Tom in faith it was their lot, Two honeft Drunkars mufl goe drinke a pot, Twas but a pot, or fay a little more, Or fay a pot that's filled eight times ore. But being drunke, and met well with the leefe, They drinke to healthes deuoutly on their knees, Dicke drinks to Hall^ to pledge him Tom reie6ls. And fcornes to doe it for fome odde refpe6ls Wilt thou not pledge him thar't a gill, a Scab, Wert with my man-hood thou deferuefl a flab, But tis no matter drinke another bout, Weele intot'h field and there weele trie it out. Lets goe (faies Tom) no longer by this hand, Nay flay (quoth Dicke( lets fee if we can ftand. Then forth they goe after the drunken pace. Which God he knowes was with a reeling grace, Tom made his bargaine, thus with bonnie Dicke If it fliould chance my foote or fo fhould flip. How wouldft thou vfe me or after what Size, Wouldfl bare me fhorter or wouldft let me rife. Nay God forbid our quarrells not fo great, To kill thee on aduantage in my heat. C 3 Tufh Tufli we'le not fight for any hate or foe, But for meere loue that each to other owe. And for thy learning loe He fhew a tricke, No fooner fpoke the worde but downe comes Dicke, Well now (quoth Tom) thy life hangs on my fworde, If I were downe how wouldfl thou keepe thy worde? Why with thefe hilts I'de braine thee at a blow, Faith in my humor cut thy throate, or foe, But Tom he fcorne to kill his conquered foe. Lets Dicke arife, and too't againe they goe. Dicke throwes downe Tom, or rather Tom did fall, My hilts (quoth Dicke) fhall braine thee like a maull^ Is't fo (quoth Tom) good faith what remedie, The Tower of Babell's fallen and fo am I. But Dicke proceedes to giue the fatall wound, It mift his throate, but run into the ground. But he fuppofmg that the man was flaine. Straight fled his contrie, fliip himfelfe for Spaine, Whilft valiant Thomas dyed dronken deepe. Forgot his danger and fell faft a fleepe. What's 22 I»WW»«'"»»'W Epigram* "^ 7"\ /"Hat's he that flares as if he were afright j V V The fellowe fure hath feene fome dreadfull Maffe rightly gueft, why fure I did diuine, (fpright Hee's haunted with a Spirit feminine. In plaine termes thus, the Spirit that I meane, His martiall wife that notable curfl queane, No other weapons but her nailes or fift, Poore patient Idiot he dares not refift, His neighbor once would borrow but his knife, Good neighbor flay (quoth he) ile aske my wife: Once came he home infpired in the head, He found his neighbor and his wife a bed. Yet durft not flurre, but hide him in a hole. He feared to difpleafe his wife poore foule. But why fhould he fo dreade and feare her hate, Since fhe had giuen him armor for his pate? Next day forfooth he doth his neighbor meete, Whome with flerne rage thus furioufly doth greete, Villaine ile flit thy nofe, out comes his knife, Sirra (quoth he) goe to lie tell your wife. Apaled at which terror, meekely faide Retire good knife my furie is allaide. Time 33 Proteus, 'nr^Ime feruing humour thou wrie-faced Ape, -^ That canfl transforme thy felfe to any fhape : Come good Proteus come away a pace, We long to fee thy mumping Antique face. This is the fellow that liues by his wit, A cogging knaue and fawning Parrafit, He has behauiour for the greateft porte, And hee has humors for the rafcall forte. He has beene great with Lordes and high eftates, They could not Hue without his rare conceites, He was affociat for the braueft fpirits, His galland carriage fuch fauour merrits. Yet to a Ruffiin humor for the ftewes, A right graund Captaine of the damned crewes, With whome his humor alwayes is vnftable Mad, melancholly, drunke and variable. Hat Hat without band like cutting Dicke he goe's, Renowned for his new inuented oathes. Sometimes like a Ciuilian, tis flrange At twelue a clocke he muft vnto the Change, Where being thought a Marchant to the eye, He tels ftrange newes his humor is to lie. Some Damafke coate the effe6l thereof mufl heare, Inuites him home and there he gets good cheare. But how is't now fuch braue renowned wits, Weare ragged robes with fuch huge gaftly flits. Faith thus a ragged humour he hath got Whole garments for the Summer are too hot. Thus you may cenfure gently if you pleafe. He weares fuch garments onely for his eafe. Or thus his credit will no longer waue. For all men know him for a prating knaue. Epigram* AScholer newly entred marriage life Following his fluddie did offend his wife, Becaufe when fhe his company expe6led, By bookifh bufines fhe was ftill negle6led : Comming vnto his ftuddy, Lord (quoth fhe) Can papers caufe you loue them more than mee : D I would 25 Epigram, I would I were tranfform'd into a Booke That your affe6lion might vpon me looke, But in my wifh, withall be it decreed, I would be fuch a Booke you loue to reede, Hufband (quoth fhe) which books form fhould I take, Marry (faid hee) t'were beft an Almanacke, The reafon wherefore I doe wifh thee fo, Is, euery yeare wee haue a new you knowe. Epigram. SIra, come hether boy, take view of mee. My Lady I am purpof'd to goe fee : What doth my feather flourifh with a grace. And this fame dooble fette become my face. How defcent doth this doublets forme appeare (I would I had my fute in houns-ditch heere) Do not my fpurs pronounce a filuer founde? Do's not my hofe circumference profounde? Sir thefe are well, but there is one thing ill, Your Tailour with a fheete of paper bill, Vowes heel'e be paid, and Serieants he had feed. Which wayte your comming forth to do thy deede : Boy god-amercy let my Lady flay. He fee no counter for her fake to day. A 26 Much a doe aboitt chu/ing a wife. A Widdower would haue a wife were old, ■^^-Paft charge of children to preuent expence Her chefts and bagges cram'd till they crake with gold. And fhe vnto her graue pofl quickly hence, But if all this were fitting to his minde. Where is his leafe of life to ftay behinde? A Batcheler would haue wife were wife, Faire, Rich and Younge, a maiden for his bed, Not proude, nor churlifh but of fautles fize, A country houfewife, in the Citty bred. But hees a foole and longe in vaine hath ftaide, He fhoulde befpeake her, there's none ready made D 2 The a7 The tammg of a wilde Youth. t~\ F late a deare and louing friend of mine, ^^-^That all his time a Gallant youth had bene. From mirth to melancholy did decline. Looking exeeding pale, leane, poore, and thin, I ask'd the caufe he brought me through the flreete, Vnto his houfe, and there hee let me fee, A woman proper, faire, wife and difcreete And faid behould, heer's that hath tamed mee. Hath this (quoth I,) can fuch a wife do fo? Lord how is he tam'd then, that hath a fhrow: . A ftraunge 2S A Jlratmgejlghted Trmieller. AN honeft Country foole being gentle bred, Was by an odde conceited humor led, To trauell and fome Englifh fafhions fee, With fuch ftrange fights as heere at London be. - Stuffing his purfe with a good golden fome, This wandring knight did to the Cittie come, And there a feruingman he entertaines, An honefter in Newgate not remaines. He fhew'd his Maifter fights to him moft ftrange, Great tall Pauls Steeple and the royall-Exchange : The Boffe at Billings-gate and Lo?idon-Jlo7te And at White-Hall the monftrous great Whales bone, Brought him to the banck-fide where Beares do dwell And vnto Shor-ditch where the whores keepe hell, Shew'd him the Lyons, Gyants in Guild-Hall, King Liid at Lud-gate, the Bahounes and all, At length his man, on all he had did pray, Shew'd him a theeuifh trick and ran away, The Traueller turnd home exceeding ciuill, And fwore in London he had feene the Deuill. D Three 29 Three kinde of Couckoldes^ One, And None. IT? Irfl there's a Cuckolde called One and None, -*• Which foole, from fortune hath receiu'd fuch He hath a wife for beutie ftands alone, (fauour Grac'd with good carriage, and moft fweete behauiour Nature fo bounteous hath her gifts extended. From head to foote ther's nothing to be mended. Befides, fhe is as perfe6l chaft, as faire, But being married to a iealous affe, He vowes fhe homes him, for he feeles a paire Haue bin a growing euer fmce lafb graffe. No contrary perfwafions hee'l indure, But's wife is faire and hee's a Cuckolde fure. 30 Thefecond, None, and One. nr^He fecond hath a wife that loues the game, -*- And playes the fecret cunnig whore at plaifure. But in her husbands fight fhees wondrous tame, Which makes him vow, he hath Vlijfes treafure. fheele wifh al whores were hang'd, with weeping teares Yet fhe her felfe a whores cloathes dayly weares. Her husbads friends report how's wife doth gull him With falfe deceitfull and diffembling fhowe And that by both his homes a man may pull him, To fuch a goodly length they daylie growe, He fayes they wrong her, and he fweares they lye. His wife is chafte, and in that minde hee'le dye. The 31 The Thirds One, and One. 'THHe third is he that knowes women are weake, •*■ And therefore they are dayly apt to fall, Words of vnkindneffe their kind hearts may breake, They are but flefh and therefore fmners all, His wife is not the firft hath trod a wry, Amongft his neighbours he as bad can fpye. What can he helpe it if his wife do ill, But take it as his croffe and be content, For quietneffe he lets her haue her will, When fhee is old perhaps fhe will repent, Let euery one amend their one bad life, Th'are knaues and queans that medle with his wife. FINIS. 3« X 'C!^' i^mf* CASE \ '-ftsc-F,."/- CTA ^•^^r^