SANTA CRUZ o uu U Collection of Edward G. Kuster Theatre of the Golden Bough , Carmel, 1924 S r H I m SANTA CRUZ EVERYCHILD The dream of EVERYCHILD A Play in Three Acts By GERTRUDE FULTON TOOKER WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY ARCHIE GUNN INDIANAPOLIS THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY PUBLISHERS Sniv Librar If Santa Cruz 1987 COPYRIGHT 1914 THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY ACTING, MOVING-PICTURE AND ALL OTHER RIGHTS RESERVED BY THE PUBLISHERS CHARACTERS EVERYCHILD IDEALITY, his fairy God- mother REALITY, his great aunt SANTA CLAUS ALICE-IN- WONDERLAND MOTHER GOOSE PETER PAN WENDY HANSEL GRETEL THE WIZARD OF Oz GLUCK TRUTH FALSEHOOD SCOLDINGS NAGGINGS NEGLECT TEMPER SPANKINGS WHOLESOME FOOD FRESH AIR CLEAN CLOTHES SMILES HELPING HANDS HAPPY HEARTS KIND WORDS PRUNES, Head Gardener of the Forest of Grinding Growth PRISMS, Head Gardener of the Curriculum Forest WEALTH FAME POWER LOVE A POET A COOK FLOWER CHILDREN A MUSICIAN A GOBLIN A DWARF A CROWD OF MEN AND WOMEN, STUDENTS, FAIR- IES, GOBLINS, IMPS, SPRITES, GIANTS, DWARVES, ELVES, WITCH- ES, FOUR IMPS, DUMB BELLS, BODY - GARDENER AND GAME-KEEPER ACT I The Castle of Imagination ACT II The World SCENE i The Housetops SCENE 2 The Garden of Grinding Growth SCENE 3 The Curriculum Forest ACT III The Castle of Imagination and the House of Life PROLOGUE Before the curtain. The curtain repre- sents the exterior of the Castle of Imagina- tion. The Castle is an ornate building with a hundred turrets and many balconies. The Castle shines in the 'white light of a full moon. The central entrance to the Castle is through a wide ornamental arch. Between the Castle and the front of the stage is a moat. When the drop curtain rises the drawbridge is up. It swings slowly down, the front door of the Castle opens and Ideality crosses the bridge and stands at the footlights. She is dressed in a soft white, diaphanous garment. Her waving hair is silvery white and hangs to her knees. Her face is young and sweet, her complexion clear as a rose. IDEALITY To EVERYMAN the playwright begs that I announce to-day, Though EVERYCHILD a problem is, this is no problem play. But rather, you are asked to pass through childhood's many scenes, Perchance recalling by the way some of your youthful dreams. This is the day of every child, the scientists contend ; We are but learning, latterly, how to be his friend ; We may be sure his parents will applaud his ways with zest; The spinsters and the bachelors will declare he is a pest; We know we've many critics to many thoughts inclined, We ask of each; with EVERYCHILD be pa- tient, wise and kind ; And whatsoever faults in him you will be sure to see, Remember these in ancient days belonged to YOU and ME. EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD ACT I THE CASTLE Christmas Eve in the Castle of Imagina- tion. The room is dimly lighted by a fire on the hearth to the right, the more remote parts being veiled in darkness. In the half- light Santa Glaus is discovered asleep in a large comfortable armchair before the fire, snoring audibly. The door to the extreme left opens and Ideality crosses the stage. A soft light seems to issue from her f shedding a dim radiance on the architecture of the room. The room is vast, 'with rafters like those of an old-fashioned attic. Enormous cobwebs stretch from beam to beam. The side walls are covered with pictures of flow- ers, trees, animals and other objects dear to the heart of every child. At the back of the room are a number of old chests such as are often seen in garrets. Ideality comes up behind Santa Glaus, and rests her finger-tips EVERYCHILD lightly on his shoulders. Santa sits up with a snort and looks around f blinking. IDEALITY Dear old saint! SANTA CLAUS Starting up Hello 1 Caught napping. On Christmas Eve, too! By jingles! I must be up and doing! He starts to rise, but has a twinge of rheumatism and sinks back with a groan. IDEALITY Sit down, dear Santa. There's no hurry. She pushes him gently back into his chair. SANTA Starting to rise Why, woman, this is my busy night! 2 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY I know it is. Aside How shall I tell him? To Santa Christmas, dear friend, should be a time for meditation, not work. In these days the Christmas spirit has been entirely lost sight of in the business of packing up presents. SANTA What a dear impractical soul you are, Ideality, and always will be. Do you mean to say that it would still be Christ- mas without me and my pack? IDEALITY For your sake, Santa dear, I should like to see the experiment tried. It's a bitter night out. There is a high wind. The 3 EVERYCHILD snow is driven into impassable drifts. One of your reindeer has a lame foot. And you, poor man, have a touch of your rheumatism. Why not stay right here by this comfortable fire? SANTA Annoyed It is out of the question. You know it perfectly well. There's Everychild what would he think of me? IDEALITY Slowly and sadly Yes, it was of him I was thinking. SANTA Sitting up and turning around to her, startled. Everychild! He is not 4 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY Nodding sadly Yes, it is just as we feared. SANTA You don't mean it! IDEALITY Wiping her eyes Yes, Reality was here this afternoon. She intends to take him away from the Castle this evening at eight o'clock. SANTA Agitated Well, we simply will not consent to it! IDEALITY What can we do? I protested, of course, but she has her claim on Everychild as his 5 EVERYCHILD blood-relation. She is his great aunt, you must remember. SANTA Great-grandmother's aunt! The old vix- en! I suppose we are not to inquire what she intends to do with him. IDEALITY Smiling Well, she did condescend to tell me a little. She said she wants to give him some idea of the world, and after the holidays, if he likes, she may put him to work in the Garden of Grinding Growth, and possibly the Curriculum Forest. SANTA If he likes, indeed! She'll take good care to make him like it, in order to wean him away from us! 6 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY Yes, she has great ideas about preparing him to live in the House of Life. Just as if he wouldn't be better off if he spent his life right here in the Castle of Imagination. As if it were necessary to push the child into their horrid House of Life and fill him up with notions, and stupid conventions, and get him all scarred and wizened. SANTA Well, I always did say that the woman ought to be kept absolutely out of the Castle. I detest her, the snippy little busybody. IDEALITY Sh-sh I think she is in there now, pack- ing up his grip. 7 EVERYCHILD SANTA Don't "sh-sh" me! I don't care if she hears me. What right has she to come tramping in here as if the place belonged to her? She hasn't even decent manners. She stalks around with her chin tilted up, treating us all as if we were nobodies, and if she happens to look at me she looks on through into the distance and pretends not to see me at all. IDEALITY Oh, I am so upset! She took Everychild aside this afternoon and talked him into it. He would never have thought of such a thing as leaving us before. SANTA Do you know, she once hinted to Every- child that I didn't exist. But of course hav- 8 EVERYCHILD ing seen me a hundred times with his own eyes, he wouldn't believe it. But this is my house, and I won't stand her insults. I'll order her out of the place if she comes med- dling around me any more. IDEALITY Now, dear man, be calm. We'll have to be careful on Everychild's account. We don't want any scenes before him. I sym- pathize with you perfectly. She hasn't any use for me, either. SANTA Petulantly She doesn't like you, that's true. But she doesn't make a regular business of persecut- ing you, and casting doubts on your very existence, and undermining Everychild's confidence in you. Besides, it's not so hard 9 EVERYCHILD for you, anyway. You always have a nice little following of artists and poets, and sweet mothers and young girls. But Every- child is my one loyal friend. I don't be- lieve I shall be able to live at all without him. He dabs his eyes 'with his handker- chief and then blows his nose vio- lently to conceal his weakness. IDEALITY Oh, I shall miss him quite as much as you will. You forget that I am his fairy god- mother the only spirit-relation he has in the Castle. Reality declares that blood is thicker than spirits, so she ought to have first claim on him. But I fail to see what thickness has to do with it. Anyway, he has been with us so long we certainly ought to have some rights on that score. 10 EVERYCHILD SANTA I should think so, indeed. IDEALITY But Reality is so domineering there is no use arguing with her. I am afraid to think of the effect that her influence will have on Everychild. She has so many harsh, rough ways. And dear, tender little Everychild is so susceptible to his environment. I am sure every one of us in here has helped to keep him as he should be. His voice is like the song of a bird. He has an angel's smile. His heart is always overflowing with pure happiness. Oh, I can't bear to think of him changed! SANTA Gloomily Changed indeed! Yes, the House of Life II EVERYCHILD will change him completely. His beautiful golden hair will fade, his face take on hard lines of cunning and struggle and selfish- ness IDEALITY Putting her hands over her eyes to shut out the vision Don't speak of it! Please! Well, there is one comfort if that is all true, he can't possibly like it out there, and before long he will be back with us. SANTA With a snort of disdain and discour- agement Back to the Castle? Why, you know that no one ever comes back to the Castle of Imagination! They promise to, and some- 12 EVERYCHILD times they even get as far as the moat, but they seldom cross the drawbridge, and then never to stay. Your poets may sing sere- nades under the windows in the moonlight, and your painters sketch the outside of the Castle but what does it all amount to? IDEALITY Everychild loves us all very dearly. I am sure he wouldn't leave us for good. I'll wager that he will be with us again in a fortnight. SANTA I'll take you up on that! What will you wager? IDEALITY Laughing My wings of the morning! Or my eve- ning star diadem! 13 EVERYCHILD SANTA Good! The wings maybe I can use them in my business. My stake shall be your pick of my next year's pack. He is Interrupted by the bustling en- trance of Reality. She is a trim, stern, hard-looking little woman, dressed in a simple tailored suit and walking hat. She drops a suit- case down on one of the chests with a bang. When she speaks her voice is harsh and nasal t and con- trasts disagreeably with that of Ideality , which is soft and musical. SANTA Starting at the noise of the suit-case, and frowning at her. Have a care with the furniture, woman! This is not a railroad station. EVERYCHILD REALITY Turns her head as if she heard some- thing indistinctly, looks vaguely in the direction of Santa, but either does not see him, or ignores him. There, everything is packed. I had to take out one or two things you put in the suit-case, Ideality, to make room for the child's rubbers and tooth-brush. One was a book of fairy tales, or some such rubbish. IDEALITY Oh, dear! I did want him to have some- thing to remember me by! REALITY Hasn't he a good warm, winter overcoat? I couldn't find one in his closet. 15 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY I really don't know. You know we give very little thought to clothes in here. REALITY Scornfully I suppose you expected him to sit com- fortably on a snow-bank in his pajamas and read "Fairy Tales." IDEALITY Flushes a little That is a very beautiful little book. I am not at all sure that it is not quite as im- portant to Everychild as his overcoat. REALITY Oh, rubbish, my dear ! Bosh! You would ruin the child if he stayed here much long- er. 16 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY I mean spiritually important. REALITY Spiritually! I get so tired of all this spiritual business. Spirits, and dreams and imaginings and poetry. It's a wonder to me that he has any backbone at all, raised on such stuff. What he needs is more work and less play more plain practical prose and less poetry. IDEALITY With quiet conviction Nevertheless the poetry he has learned here will do him no harm. It will be the theme of his dreams and the comfort of his old age. 17 EVERYCHILD Santa Glaus has been listening to this conversation 'with Ill-concealed an- ger. He now rises from his chair and walks Indignantly up to Real- ity, who appears neither to see nor hear him. SANTA Woman, if you must take Everychild out and show him the ugly facts of life do so, but for heaven's sake get started, and don't hang around preaching your devil's doc- trines. REALITY Answering Ideality It isn't his dreams or his old age either that I am concerned with. When he leaves this lonesome big barn of a place he'll have no time for dreams. 18 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY Lonesome? You know very little about the Castle if you call it lonesome. REALITY With a glance about and a shudder I know what I can't help observing, and that is more than enough. I despise the place with its rafters and cobwebs. Lone- some? Of course it is lonesome! A per- fect barracks! It is like poor little E very- child's head empty save for its cobwebs and ghosts and imaginings. But thank goodness it is over, anyhow. It shall be my pleasure to give him an opportunity to learn a few good, substantial facts and to forget a lot of the rubbish you have been teaching him here. 19 EVERYCHILD IDEALITY With a sign and a gesture of despair Who shall be the judge? What you call rubbish and nonsense SANTA Don't talk to her, Ideality. Call one of the giants and have her put out. IDEALITY Smiles at Santa and pats him on the shoulder. To Reality. Reality, tell me the truth shall we see our Everychild again? REALITY Oh, undoubtedly. We shall pass this way again in a fortnight. I had to promise that 20 EVERYCHILD much before Everychild would consent to go. Do not deceive yourself, however. He is all eagerness for the trip, and when I have shown him the world there won't be any doubt of his choice. Well, I must be off. Tell Everychild to be ready for me promptly at eight. Promptness must be one of his first lessons. Good-by. Exit Reality noisily. Santa pokes up the embers and sits down deject- edly in his armchair. Ideality glides out quietly, leaving Santa to his meditations. The door left opens slowly and Everychild comes tiptoeing in. He is a win- some boy of six, dressed in a white sailor suit, knickerbockers, socks and barefoot sandals. His hair falls in loose golden curls over his shoulders. He slips up behind Santa, and puts his hands over Santa's eyes. 21 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Disguising his voice, gruffly. Guess ! SANTA Alice-in-Wonderland. EVERYCHILD Nope. SANTA Jill's brother Jack. EVERYCHILD Wrong. SANTA Mary's little lamb. EVERYCHILD Dancing around in front of him Silly Billy! It's me! 22 EVERYCHILD SANTA Everychild! You little rascal, you frightened me ! EVERYCHILD And you can never guess what is going to happen 1 SANTA Sulkily Oh, I know all about that! EVERYCHILD That Aunt Reality is going to take me on a magnificent trip? SANTA Sadly wiping a tear from his eye That you are leaving us perhaps for- ever. 23 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Climbing on Santa's lap and caress- ing him Why, Santa dear, I am coming back. I am only going to be gone two weeks. I made her promise. If you feel so sad about it I won't go at all only I did want to see things. Aunty has been telling me SANTA Bless your dear, tender little heart. Never mind me! I am a foolish old fellow. It's all right, I know. You wouldn't be Every- child without a large bump of curiosity. You shall go, of course. You will enjoy it. Only I am afraid EVERYCHILD You needn't be afraid. Not one bitl I 24 EVERYCHILD want to see things, and then I want to come back here to live. This is the best and the jolliest place in the world. Don't I know it? SANTA Envelops Everychild in a rough embrace Good! Of course it is. Bless my heart, boy, you cheer me up ! EVERYCHILD Clapping his hands Santa! Won't you come along with us? Aunty said you might. SANTA She did? EVERYCHILD Nodding vigorously 25 EVERYCHILD I asked her if some of the Castle people couldn't go with us for company. She said none of the fairies or goblins or any of the little fellows could, and then I asked if you could, and she laughed and said she guessed you could if you wanted to. So won't you, please? SANTA She laughed, did she? Your aunt is a great joker. You see, we are not particular- ly good friends, she and I in fact, we are not on speaking terms at all. EVERYCHILD What is the matter? Don't you like her? SANTA Well, no, I can't say I like her, but good- ness knows the quarrel is not of my making. I've been trying all my life to get on good 26 EVERYCHILD terms with her, but it's no use she holds some spite against me and I'm told that she has declared she will be the death of me. EVERYCHILD Then I hate her, and I shan't go on her old trip. SANTA No, my dear, your godmother says, you know, that we mustn't hate anybody, and you will never be far wrong if you follow the teachings of Ideality. She knows more in a minute than Reality could learn in a lifetime. EVERYCHILD Then, Santa dear, if you don't hate her won't you come with us? SANTA Laughing 27 EVERYCHILD Trapped me, did you? No, child, it would never do. I would never live through it. Reality knows that and that was the reason she said I could come. You see I am a tremendously fine sort of a fellow if you give me your confidence and treat me as an equal, but I am the most sensitive person in the world. I simply can not stand an atmosphere of scoffing and disbelief. It is to me the deadliest of poisons. A journey around the world among skeptical grown- up people, with your Aunt Reality as guide, would certainly kill me in no time at all. No, child, since you are going, my work to-night will be light, and I shall just sit by the fire here and toast my rheumatism. EVERYCHILD Gets down from Santa's lap and 'walks about dejectedly 28 EVERYCHILD I shall be terribly lonesome. I don't think I like Aunt Reality very well. SANTA Lays his forefinger at the side of his nose, beckons Everychild to him and puts his arm caressingly about him. This world that you are going out to see is a cruel place. I am told that they laugh at fairies and goblins. They even laugh at you if you talk about them. So when you get out there just don't mention us Castle folk at all especially to Reality. Keep your eyes open, see everything, and when you get back we'll have some grand times talking everything over. EVERYCHILD Oh, Santa dear, I think I won't go. I'd rather stay here in the Castle. 29 EVERYCHILD SANTA Well, I certainly wish you would. But it's too late now. Reality is not the one to be balked at the last minute. It is probably best that you should go. The world is not altogether wicked, Ideality says. She says, you know, that just as there are some people and things in the Castle here who are bad like the pixies so there are some people and things out in the world that are among the best. She has been teaching you some of them, you know. Remember how she has been drilling you on telling Truth from Falsehood? EVERYCHILD Yes, but they look so exactly alike that I don't believe I'll ever be able to tell them apart. 30 EVERYCHILD SANTA Tut, tut! You must do credit to Ideali- ty's teaching. Let's have them in, and look 'em over. I must confess that I never was able to see any difference between them myself, but there is nothing like persistence. Santa gives a low whistle, and a pair of twins appear, dressed exactly alike in every particular. They dance about and then halt before Santa and Everychild. TRUTH AND FALSEHOOD To Everychild we are alike, Though different as can be. If you would wish to note our points, Examine carefully. FALSEHOOD Alone You see my hair is plastered on, My eyes of glass are made. EVERYCHILD The stuff from which my suit is cut, Is guaranteed to fade. There is another difference Which is the vital part While Truth is perfect through and through I haven't any heart. They unbutton their coats and Truth displays a large red heart over the left chest. They quickly button up the coats again, and whirl about until Every child is confused as to which is which. He tries to catch one of them to examine him, but they evade him. Everychild laughs and begins to romp and frolic with them. SANTA Come, come, Everychild, that will never do. This is not a game. Don't you remem- ber that Ideality told you you must never play with Truth and Falsehood? 32 EVERYCHILD Everychlld stops, crestfallen. Truth and Falsehood continue to whirl about and then 'go out. The cuckoo clock sounds seven. EVERYCHILD Seven o'clock! And Aunt Reality is to be here at eight Only one more hour in the Castle of Imagination! He claps his hands, and at the signal the lids of all the chests, the trap- doors In the roof and floor, and the sliding panels In the wall, fly open and from everywhere spring Fair- ies, Goblins, Sprites, Witches, Ghosts, Ogres, Giants, Dwarfs, Elves, a troop of Shadowy Thoughts, Fancies and Vagaries (tall vague figures), and a number of such well-known characters as Allce-ln-Wonderland, Mother Goose, Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, Hansel and Gretel, Wendy, Gluck, 33 EVERYCHILD etc. They tumble pell-mell into the room with laughter and hal- loos. ALL Witches, Fairies, Goblins, we Come cavorting as you see, Whirling every one about In a most fantastic rout. One of the Goblins leads the quad- rille while the rest suit the action to the word. All press forward, Stagger back, Turn about and Roundly smack. Chasse left and Chasse right. Don't attempt to be polite. Tumble partners, elbow, shove, 34 EVERYCHILD Kiss whichever one you love. If you hate them, pull their hair, Jerk them here and push them there. Wildly whizzing, whirling, wheeling, See the room go round and reeling. Rollick, frolic, scramble, scatter! What in Goblin's name's the matter? They break the circle and stagger about dizzily. The motion ceases. A Giant picks up Everychild and carries him around the stage, while the rest follow him up and down, laughing and shouting, "Every- child/ Three cheers for Every- chlld!" ALL Singing You'll look the wide world over, You'll wander o'er dale and lea, You'll pace the sands with a restless step, And you'll toss on a restless sea. 35 EVERYCHILD And then you will sigh with deep regret That you didn't stay here with me, Spoken by each in turn pointing to himself That you didn't stay here with me. That you didn't stay here with me. And you'll sigh a sigh from the depths of your heart That you didn't stay here with me. ALL For what are the phantoms you chase out there, And the will-o'-the-wisps you see? They lure you on to a hateful fate And sorrow alone decree. And then you will wish deep down in your soul That you had stayed here with me. Spoken by each 36 EVERYCHILD t That you had stayed here with me. That you had stayed here, with me. Bind often the longing will fill your soul That you had stayed here with me. EVERYCHILD Slipping down to his feet Well, I suppose it is time for me to begin to say "good-by." Shaking Alice-in-JVonderlan d by the hand Good-by, Alice. ALICE You'll never see any animals out in the world so funny as the Jabberwocky. EVERYCHILD Good-by, Wizard. And so on to each in turn 37 EVERYCHILD WIZARD Nor any towns so beautiful as the Emer- ald City. EVERYCHILD Good-by, dear little Gluck. GLUCK Nor any rivers like the Golden River. EVERYCHILD Good-by, Peter Pan. PETER PAN Nor any little girls half so sweet as Wen- dy. THOUGHTS, FANCIES, VAGARIES Nor any such long sweet dreamy thoughts as we are. 38 EVERYCHILD WITCHES, GOBLINS, SPOOKS And you won't have any fun on Hallow- e'en any more, without us. HANSEL AND GRETEL You'd better follow our example and take some bread crumbs along to scatter so you can find your way back. EVERYCHILD Wipes his eyes with his handkerchief You people make me feel very sad, but I shan't be gone long, you know, and I shall need no bread crumbs to find my way back. Good-by, Santa Claus. SANTA His voice choking Good-by, boy. I needn't remind you of 39 EVERYCHILD what Christmas will be without me. We'll not speak of that though, for I am confi- dently expecting you back. You will come back, won't you? Everychild nods Good-by, then. Don't stay too long for it will be a dreary wait. Ideality, who has slipped into the room during the dance, comes up to Everychild and puts an arm about him. He reaches up and draws her down to kiss. EVERYCHILD Dear, dear fairy Godmother. IDEALITY Oh, my dear child, how can I let you go? Embraces him fondly But I must be brave. We could not expect 40 EVERYCHILD to keep you aloof from the world forever. I have tried to teach you to love the things of the spirit. Think of me often, will you, dear? I am sure there will be times of doubt when the thought will strengthen you. I wish I could give you a magic sword as they do in fairy tales which would protect you from all harm, but Reality won't allow me any space in your luggage. Slip this in your pocket. Be sure you read the direc- tions on the lid. EVERYCHILD Goody ! It's mottoes 1 Candy mottoes ! Reads "People and things are only symbols. Look well with your mind's eye." He appears puzzled and reads again "People and things are only symbols. Look well with your mind's eye." EVERYCHILD I don't understand, but I'll bet they are good. He eats one IDEALITY Oh, don't eat them now! You won't re- member. She slips them Into his pocket. A dwarf drags forward into the room a huge loving-cup. He has a very pompous manner. He bows im- pressively to Everychild. With much fumbling he adjusts a pair of horn spectacles^ unrolls a large parchment and reads. DWARF "We, the undertakers " Shouts of correction from the crowd ALL "Undersigned Undersigned I" 42 sent " EVERYCHILD DWARF "We, the undersigned, do nearly pre- ALL Shouts "Hereby, hereby!" DWARF " do hereby present to Everychild, a lov- ing-cup." He looks up importantly, and In do- ing so loses his glasses off his nose. He pauses to readjust them. Shouts of impatience from the crowd. A Giant steps forward, picks up the Dwarf, shakes him and tosses him aside. GIANT You little bungler. Let me read. Reads "We, the undersigned, do hereby present 43 EVERYCHILD to Everychild a loving-cup, bearing the simple but expressive words of the poet, 'Lest you forget.' Our dearest wish is to remain forever in the heart of Everychild. To make sure of this, and also to insure your return to the Castle, we have placed in the loving-cup a few ounces of the Wine of Memory. When the vision of us fades, one drop of this precious liquid will in- stantly restore it. Go, and may you always keep the cup at hand. "(Signed) Those who live in the Castle of Imagination." EVERYCHILD Simply Dear friends, how can I thank you? You know very well that I do not need the drops. I could never forget you. The cup is beau- tiful. I shall always keep it near me. 44 EVERYCHILD While he is speaking the cuckoo sounds eight. Immediately there comes a vigorous knocking at the door, and Reality enters. REALITY Peremptorily Come, come, Everychild, aren't you ready? I told you to be prompt. EVERYCHILD Dries his eyes, looks hesitatingly at Reality as If he had half a mind to refuse to go, then takes her hand rather reluctantly, starts toward the door with her, but turns and waves his hand to the crowd. Good-by, all. ALL Singing Farewell, farewell to Everychild; Farewell to bubbling laughter; 45 EVERYCHILD Farewell to joy Without alloy No pleasant pranks hereafter. Fare forth, fare forth, O Everychild! You know not what you do. The world is cold As you grow old, And dreams do not come truel Reality and Everychild go out, Ev- erychild 'waving a last farewell at the door. The characters go to the windows to watch him depart. They look very forlorn and woe- begone as they turn back to the room. Suddenly all cry out The loving-cup! He forgot to take it! They sink down on the chests, etc., in utter dejection. Santa stands gazing into the fire. The curtain falls to the refrain of f< Farewell, farewell to Everychild." 46 ACT II SCENE I THE HOUSETOPS The stage is a roof 'with a chimney and a skylight to the left. To the right is another roof at a little lower level, also with chim- ney and skylight. Other housetops appear on the back curtain. Through the gentle snow which is falling one can see the flicker of the city lights. A familiar Christmas anthem is heard rising from below. It ceases. Suddenly there is a gust of wind and a great swirl of snow. It clears away and Reality and Everychild appear to have arrived with it. EVERYCHILD Laughing and shaking off the snow Gee whillikens! This is great fun! It's just like falling through the air in a dream, only you don't land in your bed at the bot- tom. 47 EVERYCHILD He sniffs the air How fresh the air is! REALITY Yes an improvement on that stuffy Cas- tle, isn't it? EVERYCHILD It certainly is great! He runs about in glee, and peers over the edge of the roof. What are all those lights? Is this a city? REALITY Yes. The cities and the "kingdoms of the world and the glory of them." EVERYCHILD It is pretty, but it looks awfully crowded. I think I like the fields and the streams and mountains best, don't you, Aunty? EVERYCHILD REALITY No, I like the cities the beautiful tall buildings, and the wonderful things that man has made. EVERYCHILD What is this a roof? Why have we stopped here? REALITY We are on the roof of a splendid man- sion where a very rich family lives. Pointing to the lower roof Over there is a tenement-house where doz- ens of very poor families live crowded to- gether. EVERYCHILD Eagerly I know! This is Christmas Eve, and we 49 EVERYCHILD are going to do errands for Santa Claus. Can I take some presents down the chimney to the poor people? Looking about But where are the presents? REALITY Laughing indulgently You would be a pretty sight with your clothes all covered with soot! No, my dear, presents do not arrive by way of the chim- ney. I have told you before that there is no Santa Claus. EVERYCHILD I know you have, Aunty, but you are mis- taken. I have seen him hundreds of times. He lives in the Castle of Imagination with my fairy godmother. 50 EVERYCHILD REALITY Tut, tut, child. You have been living a life of dreams. There is no Santa Claus that is flat ! Now don't let me hear you talk- ing such foolishness again. EVERYCHILD He told me that you hated him. REALITY What nonsense is this? Who told you? EVERYCHILD Santa did. He said that you had resolved to be the death of him. REALITY I don't know how you ever came to imag- ine such a remark, but it sounds like some of EVERYCHILD the airy-fairy nonsense of your godmother, as she calls herself. It is entirely unneces- sary for me to be the death of any of Ideali- ty's phantoms. I tell you they do not exist. Life, you will find, is not so simple. If there were a Santa Claus to give people what they want, what would be the differ- ence between being rich and being poor? EVERYCHILD Simply I don't know, Aunty. Is there any differ- ence? REALITY With a gesture of impatience All the difference in the world. The dif- ference between happiness and wretched- ness between having everything and hav- ing nothing. 52 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD My fairy godmother told me that happi- ness does not consist in having things, but in giving things. REALITY That is just like that silly impractical woman. Well, that is just why I brought you here I want you to see for yourself. Look down this skylight, and you will un- derstand how pleasant it is to have things. The anthem swells again. Every- child listens. EVERYCHILD I can hear somebody singing for joy. Goes to the skylight and stoops down to look in These people are not singing, though good- 53 EVERYCHILD ness knows they have plenty to sing about. Oh, Aunty, the most gorgeous Christmas tree, and heaps and heaps of presents! Look! Look! A splendid bob, an automo- bile coaster, a whole soldier's outfit; and oh, did you ever see so many books? All for that little boy in the corner, I suppose. And all those dolls for that one little girl. Santa has certainly been down this chimney. REALITY Santa nothing! They gave each other all the gifts you see. The father has made himself rich and his family now have every- thing they want. Isn't it fine? EVERYCHILD I should say so. How do you get rich, Aunty? 54 EVERYCHILD REALITY Gratified There are many ways, my child, but they all depend on your making yourself smart and shrewd. You must first get an educa- tion. I'll show you about that after a bit. EVERYCHILD I want to see just how to do it. I want to get rich. What became of that cup of mine? I was going to take it with me the Wine of Memory REALITY Laughing Wine of Memory! Whoever heard of the Wine of Memory? There's champagne and claret and sparkling Burgundy 55 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD No. Wine of Memory. Don't you re- member there was a tall, tall, loving-cup He stares off reminiscently, then be- gins to feel in his pockets. Why, here are my candy mottoes. Eats one VOICE OF IDEALITY These are the Poor. Look again, Every- child. "People and things are only sym- bols." EVERYCHILD Symbols? What are symbols? REALITY Symbols are things that represent some- thing else. Why? 56 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Repeats absently "People and things are only symbols." Goes again to the skylight Why, the mother is scolding that sweet little girl. I wonder what the matter can be. The father and mother seem to be awfully cross, and the children seem very unhappy in spite of all their presents. REALITY The children are probably behaving bad- ly and have been getting a scolding. EVERYCHILD Well, none of them seems to be having a very good time. I don't want to look at them any longer. Can't we go on? 57 EVERYCHILD VOICE OF IDEALITY Wait, Everychild. You have not seen what is in the dark corners and the closets. EVERYCHILD Supposing that Reality is speaking, and not turning to see. I would have to have a magic eye. VOICE OF IDEALITY No, I will show you. EVERYCHILD Turning in surprise to Reality How can you? REALITY How can I what? 58 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Show me. REALITY Show you what? EVERYCHILD You said that you would show me what was in the corners and closets. i REALITY I said nothing of the sort. VOICE OF IDEALITY Sprats and imps and pixies, hark Come quickly from your corners dark! EVERYCHILD Don't you hear, Aunty? Why, it's the voice of my fairy godmother! 59 EVERYCHILD REALITY Nonsense, child. You hear the wind moaning in the chimneys. During the remainder of this part Reality stands gazing absently over the city , seeing nothing of the stage happenings. Out of the chimney, left, hop Scoldings, Spankings, Neglect, Temper and Naggings. They are ugly little dwarfs with disagreeable faces. They circle about Everychild to his great dis- comfiture, each shaking a threat- ening forefinger at him and an- nouncing himself "I am Scold- ings^' etc. SCOLDINGS You naughty boy, what do you mean? Such manners I have never seen. Speak when you are spoken to, Behave as you are told to do. 60 i . I- EVERYCHILD Each as he finishes addressing Every- child shoves him on to the next in turn NAGGINGS Have some respect for elder folks. When I say "No," don't tease and coax. When you come in do shut the door, And don't track mud in on the floor. NEGLECT Amuse yourself while I am out, Take off that ugly frown and pout. Go off some place and read a book, And for Goodness' sake don't tease the cook. TEMPER Don't talk back, you little brat I simply will not stand for that. 61 EVERYCHILD SPANKINGS I'll give you such a thrashing yet, You'll not be likely to forget. There's no use wasting breath on you We'll see what elbow grease will do. Spankings chases Every child about the stage with a paddle. Every- child takes refuge behind the skirts of Reality. The dwarfs step for- ward. ALL We are the foes of happiness. We watch to see it start, And then with mean and selfish thoughts We fill that person's heart. We make him think of nothing else But just his own desires, And soon he quarrels with all about And happiness retires. 62 EVERYCHILD The foes of Everychild are we, On mischief we are bent, We do our best to aggravate To spoil is our intent. For Everychild's development We do not care at all, We like to rack his little nerves And keep his body small. EVERYCHILD To Reality Oh, please send them away! I never saw anything so hideous! REALITY Stop talking nonsense, Everychild. Swal- low your candy and I can hear you better. The imps file down the chimney, left. Everychild breathes a sigh of relief. The Christmas anthem sounds again from below. Every- EVERYCHILD child listens, and following the sound, jumps down on the roof, right, runs to the skylight and looks in. REALITY There is nothing to see down there, Every- child. Come, let us be going. Every child pays no attention to her, but stands listening intently to a jolly song, "Merry, Merry Christ- mas!" which comes up from below, sung by many voices. REALITY I'll warrant there are no wonderful bob- sleds or gorgeous Christmas trees down there. EVERYCHILD No, but they seem to be having an awfully good time. EVERYCHILD REALITY Well, I don't see how they can be. The father is poor and they have only the bare necessities of life. Come now, we must be on our way. Everychild starts to come away. Reaches in his pocket, pulls out the candy mottoes and eats one. VOICE OF IDEALITY These are the Rich. Stay long enough to see what is in their closets. EVERYCHILD What did you say, Aunty? REALITY Impatiently Nothing! I say some of the cobwebs of the Castle are still under your cap. 65 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD It was the voice of my fairy godmother again. THE VOICE Happiness and Love have both been here to-night. EVERYCHILD I can see the print of little bare feet in the snow. THE VOICE Stay and see their helpers. Saints and cherubs, angels all, Prithee, listen to my call. Out from the chimney rise Whole- some Food y Clean Clothes, Fresh Air, Smiles, Happy Hearts, Kind Words and Helping Hands. They resemble Angels in appearance. Each announces himself to Every- child, taking him by the hand af- fectionately. 66 EVERYCHILD WHOLESOME FOOD With a basket heaped with food I bring you home-made bread to eat, And cereals nutritious, And milk and eggs and vegetables, And apple-sauce delicious. Let Everychild be well and strong And know the joy of living. With rosy cheeks and sturdy limbs, Accept my humble giving. FRESH AIR Carrying as insignia a pair of bel- lows I bring ozone for your lungs, And compounds oxygenic, Let Everychild grow up a man By methods hygienic. EVERYCHILD CLEANLINESS Let Everychild be spick and span, And scrubbed and tubbed each day, And brushed and combed and neatly clothed Before he goes to play. Helping Hands, Smiles, Kind Words and Happy Hearts step forward. They pat and caress Everychild with exclamations of "Isn't he a darling?" "The dear little fellow" etc. HELPING HANDS Examining Everychild's hands What pretty little hands you have, Every- child. You must learn to make them useful, like mine. SMILES Presenting a small box 68 I f I EVERYCHILD May I present Everychild with a box of dimples? KIND WORDS And I have here a memorandum book for his use. He holds it out open, and Everychild reads over his shoulder aloud. EVERYCHILD Reading come." "Please," "Thank you," "You're wel- KIND WORDS Turning the page Here are the "dears" and "darlings." You will find them most winning. And this list is positively fetching "I am only too glad to," "Delighted, I am sure." 69 EVERYCHILD HAPPY HEARTS Holding up a phial This phial contains a compound of the quintessence of sunshine with a few drops of digitalis an excellent prescription for en- larging and developing the heart. A nor- mal heart developed under the proper con- ditions should be able to hold everybody be- fore one dies. ALL We are the Magi, bearing gifts To Everychild to-day In memory of the Holy Child Who in a manger lay. We would have Everychild grow true, Grow tall and straight and fair, A smile forever on his lips, The sunlight in his hair. 70 EVERYCHILD We would have Everychild grow strong That he may live to see The day when he will find himself The man he wished to be. We are the Magi, bearing gifts To Everychild to-3ay, In memory of the Holy Child, Who in a manger lay. They disappear down the chimney EVERYCHILD Rapturously Oh, weren't they lovely! REALITY Who? EVERYCHILD The Angels. REALITY Angels? What perfect nonsense, Every- child. You are making yourself sick on EVERYCHILD that candy. That godmother of yours has no gumption! She snatches away the box of mottoes and tosses it off the roof Stop mooning now, and come along. The snow falls thicker and thicker. The Christmas anthem sounds again. As the curtain falls the forms of Every child and Reality are seen moving mistily off the stage. CURTAIN ACT II SCENE II THE GARDEN OF GRINDING GROWTH In the foreground a neat garden with several conventional flower beds. The flowers are of heroic size. To the right is a hotbed. Along the back runs a fence, back of which wild flowers can be seen waving in a field. An arched gate to the left bears the inscription, "Garden of Grinding Growth." There are trees back of the fence, on two of which are nailed signs "To the Kitchen Garden" and "To the Curriculum Forest" To the extreme right is an en- trance to a small garden-house. Everychild appears skipping along back of the fence. Reality follows in a more dignified fashion. EVERYCHILD Looking at the wild flowers back of the fence 73 EVERYCHILD Oh, Aunty, how lovely these flowers are see, there are all kinds ! REALITY Here we are, at the Garden of Grinding Growth. Wait till you see the flowers in here. Everychild stands on tiptoe and peers over the fence into the Gar- den. Reality turns the handle of the gate and enters, followed by Everychild. Every child balances himself and walks around the stone coping that marks off some of the flower beds. REALITY Come down off there, Everychild, and behave yourself. EVERYCHILD Running from bed to bed and in- specting everything with delight 74 EVERYCHILD Gee whillikens, but this is a pretty place! Who lives here? What are we going to do here? How long are we going to stay? Do you suppose they will ask us to dinner? REALITY Don't ask so many questions, Everychild, and don't expect to stay to dinner every place you go. Going over to door of garden-house, right. Prunes, the head gardener lives here. We will see if he is in and get him to show us about. She knocks vigorously on the door. Prunes, the head gardener, ap- pears. He Is an old stoop-shoul- dered man with a bulging fore- head. He wears three pairs of glasses, one on the tip of his nose, 75 EVERYCHILD one over his eyes and one pushed back on his forehead. PRUNES Well, well, what is it? EVERYCHILD Please, mister, what is this place? REALITY To Everychlld sharply Sh! To Prunes with dignity Could we look through the Garden? PRUNES Thrusting up his chin In order to look Everychlld over through the spectacles on his nose-tip. You are thinking of entering this young man? EVERYCHILD REALITY Yes, this is Everychild. Everychlld drops a curtsy I am anxious to have him see around, and after the holidays perhaps you will take him to work here. EVERYCHILD Oh, I don't want to work! PRUNES Oh, yes. I heard you were coming. I also heard that the young man has never known any discipline. A hard one to manage, I'll warrant! REALITY No, oh, no, quite the contrary PRUNES That's it! That's it! You are Every- 77 EVERYCHILD child's mother. Of course you think he is perfection. REALITY Dear, no ! I am his great aunt. I am per- fectly aware that he has his faults. PRUNES Skeptically Well, we won't argue about it. Of course, I should like to have Everychild go through the Garden. If you want to look about I'll take you. Excuse me a moment. He goes into the house EVERYCHILD He means that we can go through, doesn't he? Reality nods Oh, goody! 78 EVERYCHILD REALITY You must listen attentively to what he has to say. Prunes deserves great credit for getting this Garden in such good order. This was nothing but a wild field when he took hold of it. It is very interesting. Here you will grow smart so that some day you will become a very clever man. EVERYCHILD Do you know, I don't like to see the flow- ers all tucked up in separate beds. They look prettier out there in the fields all mixed together. REALITY How absurd, Everychild. They have to be separated and classified, of course. They would never amount to anything if they were not cultivated. 79 EVERYCHILD Prunes returns from the house with a long blackboard pointer. EVERYCHILD Running to the left bed What are these dear little things that look like wild flowers? I never knew they had them in gardens. PRUNES They were wild only a short time ago, but we are taming them. That is our Kin- dergarten. Points 'with his stick. The petals of the flowers open and children's heads appear in the centers. They raise their arms which are covered with green, resembling branches, and wave them as they sing. FLOWER-CHILDREN Singing to the familiar Kindergar- 80 EVERYCHILD ten air, "This is mother, kind and tender' 9 We are children of the Garden, Learning things for future years. Learning how to use our fingers, How to use our eyes and ears. Graces sweet and manners pleasant, Gentle ways and voices low. That's how children of the Garden Nowadays are taught to grow. EVERYCHILD And what are these with such very large heads ? Chrysanthemums ? PRUNES Pointing at them 'with his stick, whereupon they open, showing faces of children. Those are the Madame Montessori a 81 EVERYCHILD new variety. They took the first prize at the flower show. EVERYCHILD Going over to the hotbed What are these little ones with the droop- ing heads? PRUNES Those are our primary sprouts. Addressing Reality You have probably heard we have been en- tirely remodeling this end of the Garden. We are segregating the sickly sprouts in open-air beds. You see we keep them well covered, but they breathe plenty of fresh air. Most of them have been kept under cover too long. Until recently very little attention has been paid to this end of the 82 EVERYCHILD Garden. It has been badly ventilated and has been too crowded. Impressively We have had only three hundred and twen- ty-seven kilometers of air per centipede! Think of it! Outrageous, I call it! REALITY Shaking her head Tut! Tut! PRUNES Addressing Everychild There is plenty of spading to be done around this English Ivy. These Flags have to be watered every day with patriotic H 2 O. This little plant called "Thrift" was not regarded from a scientific standpoint in your mother's day. In consequence we have established the "Kitchen Garden" on strict- ly scientific lines. 83 EVERYCHILD A young girl, dressed as a cook, comes out of the Kitchen Garden singing. GIRL My mother took a high degree In some great University. She likewise won a Kappa key All honors you'll agree. She could not cook an apple pie; To make a bed she would not try; For keeping house she had no eye 'Twas awfully hard on father. CHORUS College girls, college girls, You see them every day. They love their books, they are not cooks, From cares they flee away. Father says with an awful sigh, Spoken "Is this pudding or is it pie?" EVERYCHILD College girls, college girls, My mother's a college girl. Domestic science I elect, Utensils suitable collect, Ingredients with care select And measurements correct. I make a scientific cake, A perfect loaf of bread I bake, A savory roast of meat I make, So I keep house for father. CHORUS College girls, college girls, You see them every day. They are not cooks. They love their books. From cares they flee away. And now you hear my father cry: Spoken "My dear, a most delightful pie!" College girls! College girls! I'm not a college girl. EVERYCHILD PRUNES The domestic science teacher is demon- strating how to beat an eggplant and how to open an oyster-plant. Would you care to see that? REALITY Thank you, no. Not to-day. PRUNES That department, of course, is not for Everychild. REALITY We have all the Useless Arts to inspect yet. PRUNES Oh, then you are going through the Cur- riculum Forest? REALITY Well, I don't think I shall send Every- 86 EVERYCHILD child through the regular course for a de- gree. I think most of what they teach in colleges is rubbish. But some of the work is very good, I'm told. I want the child to have every advantage. Anyhow, while we're here I thought we would look through. PRUNES Prisms is the head gardener of the For- est. He and I have always been closely as- sociated. EVERYCHILD Oh, yes, I have often heard of Prunes and Prisms. PRUNES When you get there just tell him that I sent you. He will be glad to show you about. But before you leave here I want you to meet our body-gardener. She is also the game-keeper. EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Running to the fence Game? Have you game in here? PRUNES Yes, indeed. Just the kind you like. EVERYCHILD What kind of game? PRUNES Hare - and - hounds, Puss-in-the-corner, Run-sheep-run, and lots of others. EVERYCHILD Clapping his hands I love them all. I am surely coming back here. J ft EVERYCHILD PRUNES Calling Belle! Oh, Belle! A robust wholesome-looking young woman in a sunbonnet appears This is Belle, the body-gardener. She un- derstands perfectly, but she doesn't talk. She was born dumb. Belle, where are those new assistants of yours? Do you think you could find them and bring them in to meet Everychild? Belle nods her head with a smile and goes out. PRUNES Addressing Reality You can probably recall the days when Dumb-Belle's activities were confined to a dusty indoor gymnasium. That's all changed. The growth of the open-air-de- EVERYCHILD velopment idea has made Belle's depart- ment almost as important as my own. In fact, of late they have been ranking us the same head-gardener and body-gardener. I don't mind. I get better results than I used to in the old days and Belle and I get along first rate. It might be different if she could talk. She is really terribly ignorant, and she puts on the most ridiculous airs. Calls her assistants the "Body-guard" and drills them like an army. Here they come now. Belle returns followed by her assist- ants a medical inspector in frock coat and wearing glasses, a visiting nurse in appropriate costume f a "Boy-scout" and a "Girl-guide" each dressed in khaki, and a boy dressed in gymnasium suit and sweater and carrying a baseball bat. Belle marches them proudly across the stage. They line up, and then each steps forward. 90 EVERYCHILD MEDICAL INSPECTOR Put out your tongue, -child. Everychild obeys Urn hum. Adenoids. They'll have to be attended to. NURSE Looking him over Warm clothing and good food. That's what he needs. BOY-SCOUT AND GlRL-GUIDE Taking Everychild between them and circling about And lots of pleasant recreation in the woods with us. How would you like to go camping? EVERYCHILD With delight That would be jolly. EVERYCHILD PLAYGROUND FRIEND Even in town you can have a good time with me in the city parks. ALL To protect the health of children, We are working with a vim. We love to see them strong and sound In body and in limb. Everychild, awake or sleeping, Is a jewel in our keeping. There'll be no cause for weeping When we've done our work for him. Exeunt EVERYCHILD I want to be a boy-scout ! Won't you get me one of those suits, Aunty? REALITY Possibly, if you behave yourself. Come, we must be off for the Curriculum Forest. 92 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Looking off to the right I don't believe I want to go. It looks too dark and tangled. Eats a candy motto REALITY Well, I'm a little dubious about it as a preparation for the House of Life. VOICE OF IDEALITY The forest is with beauties rife, It helps you through the House of Life. EVERYCHILD Why, Aunty, how you contradict your- self! REALITY Mr. Impudence! Why do you have to be munching something all the time? Are 93 EVERYCHILD you still sucking that candy? It makes you silly. I thought I threw it all away. EVERYCHILD Now, I do want to go through the Forest. A roaring noise is heard Oh, what is that? PRUNES Laughing That's only the Flunk Dragon. Don't let him frighten you. He is pretty much of a scare-head, that fellow. EVERYCHILD I never saw a real live Dragon. Come on, Aunty. Let's hurry. Good-by, Mr. Prunes. PRUNES Good-by. I shall look for the young man 94 EVERYCHILD after the holidays. See that he comes pre- pared to settle down to business. No non- sense here, you know. Everychild and Reality pass out to right. Prunes looks after them a moment and goes grumbling into the house. CURTAIN ACT II SCENE III THE CURRICULUM FOREST The curtain rises on a college campus. In the background are a number of college buildings of Gothic architecture. In the left foreground is a stretch of greensward, shaded by stately elms. Paths wind in and out from buildings to foreground. To the right are a number of evergreens symmetri- cally clipped and trimmed with various signs and symbols. The Geometree is cov- ered with geometrical figures; the Chemis- tree with retorts, test tubes, Bunsen burners, bottles filled with colored liquids and other chemical paraphernalia; the Trigonome- tree, a very tall tree, with numbers and log- arithms. On bushes beneath the tree grow leaves of books. Prisms, a gaunt professor in cap and gown f emerges from one of the paths fol- lowed by Reality and Everychild. Every- child is all ears and eyes for new sights and sensations. 9 6 EVERYCHILD PRISMS In a precise manner From this position we shall now be able to survey the entire Curriculum. EVERYCHILD Dear me! What a strange place! PRISMS Impressively It is perhaps the most beautifully logical growth that the world has yet seen. To Reality Madam, in a few moments, when the gong sounds, I shall be able to show you how the branches X Pointing to the trees geometrees, trlgonometrees, etc. 97 EVERYCHILD are applied to the student body. EVERYCHILD Eagerly Oh! Is somebody going to get spanked? REALITY Indignantly Of course not. Everychild, do be quiet. EVERYCHILD Running to the bushes from 'which a cry is heard But, Aunty! There's a poor boy here caught in the thorns. PRISMS Going over and extricating a youth who gratefully retires That boy is continually getting tangled EVERYCHILD up in the Greek roots. That's because he entered special instead of coming up through the Garden of Grinding Growth. If it isn't the Greek roots, it's one of the cur- rent patches. REALITY Current patches? PRISMS Yes. Pointing in the direction of the bushes Current Topics, Current Literature, Cur- rent History the fruits of knowledge. A gong sounds, and directly many students in cap and gown come fil- ing out of the buildings, winding about on the paths among the trees and bushes. 99 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD Who are they, and what are they doing? PRISMS They are the college students seeking their way through the Curriculum Forest. EVERYCHILD Is it very hard to get through? PRISMS There is no difficulty if you follow the main road and pay strict attention. The ones who have trouble are those who wander off in some of the by-paths and get lost. Sooner or later the Flunk Dragon gets them. EVERYCHILD Mr. Prunes told me not to be afraid of 100 EVERYCHILD the Flunk Dragon. He said he was a scare- head. PRISMS Quite true. There is no reason to be afraid of him after you learn to climb the trees. EVERYCHILD Do you have to climb those trees? PRISMS Yes, indeed. But that's not hard. You'd soon learn. Each tree has several branches, you see. After you get up a certain dis- tance you take a firm grip on a branch and pull yourself up higher. EVERYCHILD Do you have to climb them all? I should be afraid the Dragon would catch me while I was going from one tree to another. 101 EVERYCHILD PRISMS Oh, nol The Flunk Dragon is turned loose only two or three times a year. You need have no fear providing you know your Greek and Latin and all the other things you have been taught. All you have to do is to recite them to him and he will become as tame as a puppy. To Reality with pride Yes, this is our Geometree; behold its re- markable formations. Pointing to triangles, trapezoids, parallelograms, etc. This is the Chemistree, and yonder is the Trigonometry, with its higher branches as- cending into Calculus. Up in the top branches the A. B. Owl has its nest. 102 EVERYCHILD EVERYCHILD What is the A. B. Owl? PRISMS It's an abominable brown owl. The stu- dents call it A. B. for short. Every student aims to catch it at the end of his fourth year. REALITY Well, to my mind, the whole rigmarole is folderol. A fine preparation for the House of Life shinning up slippery trees after an owl. Just what, will you inform me, will it do for a child? PRISMS Putting on his spectacles and looking at her askance My dear Madam, I am dumfounded to 103 EVERYCHILD be asked such a question. Wisdom ! Why, those trees contain all the wisdom of the ages. We are constantly grafting on new sprouts especially on the higher branches. REALITY Pooh! What good is the wisdom of the ages to anybody? They never remember the stuff. What you need here is some prac- tical training. PRISMS Madam, when a student passes out of the Forest he has a permanent decoration that all the world respects. REALITY I know people in the House of Life who would not employ your graduates. By the way, wasn't there some talk a while ago of a Crane flying over the Forest and criticiz- ing all he saw? 104 EVERYCHILD PRISMS Indignantly A great coarse bird with no respect for learning or the fine things of life. He nearly frightened the owl to death. EVERYCHILD Pointing in the direction of the greensward where a number of students are lounging beneath the trees What is that over there? PRISMS A part of the campus. EVERYCHILD I know what I should like. I should like to sit under that tree and read a book. 105 EVERYCHILD REALITY Of course you would, Mr. Lazybones. This would be a good place for you. You wouldn't have much time for loafing. Everychild eats a motto and looks toward the trees VOICE OF IDEALITY Beneath the elm and poplar trees, You'll learn the things which no one sees. Here will be long idyllic days, Unspoiled by worldly sordid ways. With kindly thoughts and books and friends And peace, which only Nature sends. A roaring noise is heard EVERYCHILD Starting as if from a reverie Is that the Flunk Dragon? 106 EVERYCHILD PRISMS Yes, he is on his rampage. Watch now, young man, and you will see what happens to the idlers. A number of students,