J ) <2- 
 
 
MEMOIRS OF 
 
 REV. DAVID BRAINERD, 
 
 Missionary to tJie Indians of North A tnerica. 
 
 BASED ON THE LIFE OF BRAINERD PREPARED 
 
 BY JONATHAN EDWARDS, D. D., AND AFTERWARDS REVISED 
 AND ENLARGED BY SERENO E. DWIGHT,D.D. 
 
 BY J. M. SHERWOOD 
 
 Author of " The History of the Cross." 
 
 WITH AN INTRODUCTION ON 
 THE LIFE AND CHARACTER OF DAVID BRAINERD 
 
 BY THE EDITOR.! V \ 
 
 ALSO AN ESSAY ON 
 
 GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS, 
 BY ARTHUR T. PIERSON, D. D. 
 
 FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY 
 
 1891 
 NEW YORK 
 
 ToRONTO I8QI LONDON 
 
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1884, by 
 
 FUNK & WAGNALLS, 
 
 In the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C. 
 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 Preface by President Edwards. ... . . * . v 
 
 Preface by J. M. Sherwood. . . .... xv 
 
 Introduction : Life and Character of Brainerd. ... . xxiii 
 
 God s Hand in Missions. . . . . lii 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 His Early Life First Religious Impressions His own written Account of his Con 
 version and Religious Experiences until he began his Studies for the Gospel 
 Ministry President Edwards account of the Great Revival in New England, 
 and of the Circumstances connected with Brainerd s Dismissal from College. i 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 His Education for the Christian Ministry Licensed to Preach the Gospel. . . 21 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Beginning of his Missionary Career among the Indians of North America. . .35 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 Conflicts, Delays, and final settling down to Work. ...... 46 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 A year at Kaunaumeek Life in tha Wilderness among Savages Travels, Trials, 
 Tribulations and Triumphs Ordination by Presbytery at Newark, N. J Leaves, 
 Kaunaumeek on a Journey to New England. ..... 57 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Enters upon a mission among the Indians at Crossweeksung A succinct account of 
 his Missionary labor and success both at Kaunaumeek and at the Forks of the De 
 laware, in a letter of Brainerd s to the Rev. Mr. Pemberton 104 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A wonderful Work of Grace in the Wilderness Publication of the First Part of 
 Brainerd s Journal Interesting Services Revival Scenes A Journey to the 
 Forks of the Delaware A Strange Character Precious Ingatherings. . 153 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 Brainerd s Remarks in the Extraordinary Work of God s Grace among these Indians. 192 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Efforts to get a Schoolmaster to instruct the Indians Continuance of the Good 
 Work at Crossweeksung Rode more than three thousand miles in a few months 
 in visiting different parts of his Field Successful attempts to teach the Assem 
 bly s Shorter Catechism to the Indians Amazing Changes wrought in one Year 
 in the Character of these Indians 200 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Some Remarkable Cases of Conversion during the great Revival. . . . 251 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Brainerd s General Remarks on the work of grace at Crossweeksung " Attesta 
 tions " of its genuineness and power from other sources t6t 
 
 CHAPTER XI I. 
 
 Final stage of Brainerd s Missionary Work Visits the Susquehanna, and up among 
 the Delawares Returns to Cranberry very much prostrated Continues his 
 Work in great bodily Weakness and Suffering. ...... 177 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Parting with his beloved Missionary Flock Returned to New England Invited by 
 President Edwards to his home Long and severe ill ness in Boston Final Return 
 to Northampton Last sickness and death Funeral Services Sermon by Ed 
 wards . % |M 
 
 CHAFfER XIV. 
 President Edwards Personal Estimate of Brainerd. . .... 344 
 
PRESIDENT EDWARD S PREFACE TO THE 
 ORIGINAL EDITION. 
 
 THERE are two ways of recommending true religion 
 and virtue to the world ; the one, by doctrine and pre 
 cept, the other by history and example. Both are abun 
 dantly used in the holy Scriptures. Not only are the 
 grounds, nature, design, and importance of religion 
 clearly exhibited in the doctrines of scripture its exer 
 cise and practise plainly delineated and abundantly en 
 forced in its commands and counsels but there we 
 have many excellent examples of religion, and its power 
 and practice set before us in the histories both of the 
 Old and New Testament. 
 
 JESUS CHRIST, the great Prophet of God, when he 
 came to be " the light of the world," to teach and en 
 force true religion, in a greater degree than ever had 
 been done before made use of both these methods. 
 In his doctrine, he not only declared more fully the mind 
 and will of God the nature and properties of that virtue 
 which becomes creatures of our constitution, and in our 
 circumstances, and more powerfully enforced it by ex 
 hibiting the obligations and inducements to holiness ; 
 but he also in his own practice gave a most perfect ex 
 ample of the virtue which he taught. He exhibited to 
 the world such an illustrious pattern of humility, divine 
 love, discreet zeal, self-denial, obedience, patience, res 
 ignation, fortitude, meekness, forgiveness, compassion, 
 benevolence, and universal holiness, as neither men nor 
 angels ever saw before. 
 
 God also in his providence, has been wont to make 
 use of both these methods to hold forth light to man 
 kind, and inducements to their duty, in ail ages. He 
 
vi PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. 
 
 has from time to time raised up eminent teachers, to ex 
 hibit and bear testimony to the truth by their doctrine, 
 and to oppose the errors, darkness, and wickedness of 
 the world ; and he has also raised up some eminent per 
 sons who have set bright examples of that religion which 
 is taught and prescribed in the word of God ; whose ex 
 amples have, in the course of divine providence, been set 
 forth to public view. These have a great tendency both 
 to engage the attention of men to the doctrines ami 
 rules taught, and also to confirm and enforce them ; es 
 pecially when these bright examples have been exhibited 
 in the same persons who have been eminent teachers. 
 Hereby the world has had opportunity to see a confir 
 mation of the truth, efficacy, and amiableness of the re 
 ligion taught, in the practice of the same persons who 
 have most clearly and forcibly taught it ; and above all, 
 when these bright examples have been set by eminent 
 teachers, a variety of unusual circumstances of remark 
 able trial ; and when God has withal remarkably distin 
 guished them with wonderful success in their instruc 
 tions and labors. 
 
 Such an instance we have in the excellent person 
 whose life is published in the following pages. His ex 
 ample is attended with a great variety of circumstances 
 calculated to engage the attention of religious people, 
 especially in America. He was a man of distinguished 
 talents, as all are sensible who knew him. As a minister 
 of the gospel, he was called to unusual services in that 
 work ; and his ministry was attended with very remark 
 able and unusual events. His course of religion began 
 before the late times of extraordinary religious commo 
 tion ; yet he was not an idle spectator, but had a near 
 concern in many things that passed at that time. He 
 had a very extensive acquaintance with those who have 
 been the subjects of the late religious operations, in 
 places far distant, in people of different nations, educa 
 tion, manners, and customs. He had a peculiar oppor 
 tunity of acquaintance with the false appearances and 
 counterfeits of religion ; was the instrument of a most 
 remarkable awakening, a wonderful and abiding altera- 
 
PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. v ii 
 
 tion and moral transformation of subjects, who peculiarly 
 render the charge rare and astonishing. 
 
 In the following account, the reader will have an 
 opportunity to see, not only what were the external cir 
 cumstances and remarkable incidents of the life of this 
 person, and how he spent his time from day to day, as 
 to his external behavior, but also what passed in his own 
 heart. Here he will see the wonderful change he ex 
 perienced in his mind and disposition ; the manner in 
 which that change was brought to pass ; how it con 
 tinued ; and what were its consequences in his inward 
 frames, thoughts, affections, and secret exercises, through 
 many vicissitudes and trials, for more than eight years. 
 
 He will also see his sentiments, frame, and behavior, 
 during a long season of the gradual and sensible ap 
 proach of death ; and what were the effects of his re 
 ligion in the last stages of his illness. The account be 
 ing written, the reader may have opportunity at his lei 
 sure to compare the various parts of the story, and delib 
 erately to view and weigh the whole, and consider how 
 far what is related, is agreeable to the dictates of reason, 
 and the Word of God. 
 
 I am far from supposing, that Brainerd s inward 
 exercises or his external conduct, were free from all 
 imperfections. The example of Jesus Christ is the only 
 perfect example that ever existed in human nature. It 
 is, therefore, a rule by which to try all other examples ; 
 and the dispositions, frames, and practices of others, 
 must be commended and followed no further than they 
 were followers of Christ. 
 
 There is one thing in Brainerd, easily discernible by 
 the following account of his life, which may be called 
 an imperfection in him, which, though not properly an 
 Trn perfection of a moral nature, yet may possibly Tie 
 made an~objection Tagamst tneextraordinary appearances 
 of religion and devotion in him, by such as seek for oh* 
 jections against everything that can be produced in 
 favor of true, vital religion ; I refer to the fact, that he 
 was, by his constitution and natural temper, so pronejtp 
 
viii PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. 
 
 melancholy, and dejection of spirit. There are some 
 who think that all religion is a melancholy thing ; and 
 that what is called Christian experience is little else be 
 sides melancholy vapors, disturbing the brain, and excit 
 ing enthusiasitic imaginations. But that Brainerd s 
 temper or constitution inclined him to despondency, is 
 no just ground to suspect his extraordinary devotion to 
 have been only the fruit of a warm imagination. All 
 who have well observed mankind, will readily grant that 
 many of those who by their natural constitution or temper, 
 are most disposed to dejection, are not the most suscep 
 tive of lively and strong impressions on their imagina 
 tion, or the most subject to those vehement affections, 
 which are the fruits of such impressions. Many who 
 are of a very gay and sanguine natural temper are vastly 
 more so ; and if their affections are turned into a reli 
 gious channel, are much more exposed to enthusiasm 
 than many of the former. 
 
 As to Brainerd, notwithstanding his inclination 
 to despondency, he was evidently one of those who 
 usually are the farthest from a teeming imagination ; 
 being of a penetrating genius, of clear thought, of close 
 reasoning, and a very exact judgment ; as all know 
 who knew him. As he had a great_ insight into 
 human nature, and was v^r^L discerning and judicious 
 in general ; so he excelled in his judgment and knowl 
 edge in divinity, but especially in experimental religion. 
 He most accurately distinguished between real solid 
 piety, and enthusiasm ; between those affections that 
 are rational and scriptural having their foundation in 
 light and judgment and those that are founded in 
 whimsical conceits, strong impressions on the imagina 
 tion, and vehement emotions of the animal spirits. He 
 was exceedingly sensible of men s exposedness to these 
 things ; how much they had prevailed, and what multi 
 tudes had been deceived by them ; of their pernicious 
 consequences and the fearful mischief they had done in 
 the Christian world. He greatly abhorred such a reli 
 gion, and was abundant in bearing testimony against it, 
 living and dying ; and was quick to discern when any- 
 
PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. j x 
 
 thing of that nature arose ; though in its first buddings, 
 and appearing under the most fair and plausible disguises. 
 He had a talent for describing the various workings of 
 this imaginary enthusiastic religion evincing its false 
 ness and vanity, and demonstrating the great difference 
 between this, and true spiritual devotion which I 
 scarcely ever knew equalled in any person. 
 
 His judiciousness did not only appear in distinguish 
 ing among the experiences of others, but also among the 
 various exercises of his own mind ; particularly in dis 
 cerning what within himself was to be laid to the score 
 of melancholy in which he exceeded all melancholy 
 persons that ever I was acquainted -with. This was 
 doubtless owing to a peculiar strength in his judgment, 
 for it is a rare thing indeed, that melancholy people are 
 sensible of their own disease, and convinced that such 
 things are to be ascribed to it, as are its genuine opera 
 tions and fruits. Brainerd did not obtain that degree 
 of skill at once, but gradually ; as the reader may discern 
 by the following account of his life. In the former part 
 of his religious course, he imputed much of that kind of 
 gloominess of mind, and those dark thoughts to spiritual 
 desertion, which in the latter part of his life he was 
 abundantly sensible were owing to the disease of melan 
 choly ; accordingly he often expressly speaks of them in 
 "ETsdiary, as arising from this cause. He often in conversa 
 tion spoke of the difference bet ween melancholy and godly 
 sorrow, true humiliation and spiritual discretion, and the 
 great danger of mistaking the one for the other, and the 
 very hurtful nature of melancholy ; discoursing with 
 great judgment upon it, and doubtless much more judi 
 ciously for what he knew by his own experience. 
 
 But not to argue from Brainerd s strength of judg 
 ment merely, it is apparent in fact, that he was not a 
 person of a Warm imagination. His inward experiences, 
 whether in his convictions or his conversion, and his 
 religious views and impressions through the course of 
 his life, were not excited by strong and lively images 
 formed in his imagination ; nothing at all appears of it in 
 his diary from beginning to end. He told me on his 
 
X PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. 
 
 death-bed, that although once, when he was very young 
 in years and experience, he was deceived into a high 
 opinion of such things looking on them as superior at 
 tainments in religion, beyond what he had ever arrived 
 at was ambitious of them, and earnestly sought them ; 
 yet he never could attain them. He moreover declared, 
 that he never in his life had a strong impression on his 
 imagination, of any outward form, external glory, or anv 
 thing of that nature ; which kind of impressions abound 
 among enthusiastic people. 
 
 As Brainerd s religious impressions, views, and af 
 fections in their nature were vastly different from en 
 thusiasm ; so were their effects in him as contrary to it as 
 possible. Nothing, like enthusiasm, puffs men up with 
 a high conceit of their own wisdom, holiness, eminence, 
 and sufficiency ; and makes them so bold, forward as 
 suming, and arrogant. But the reader will see that 
 Brainerd s religion constantly disposed him to a most 
 humble estimation of himself, an abasing sense of his 
 own sinfulness, unprofitableness, and ignorance ; looking 
 on himself as worse than others; disposing him to uni 
 versal benevolence and meekness ; in honor to prefer 
 others, and to treat all with kindness and respect. And 
 when melancholy prevailed, and though the effects of it 
 were very prejudicial to him, yet it had not the effects of 
 enthusiasm ; but operated by dark and discouraging 
 thoughts of himself, as ignorant, wicked, and wholly un 
 fit for the work of the ministry, or even to be among 
 mankind. Indeed, at the time just mentioned, when he 
 had not learned well to distinguish between enthusiasm 
 and solid religion, he joined, and kept company with some 
 who were tinged with no small degree of the former. For 
 a season, he partook with them in a degree, of their dispo 
 sitions and behaviors ; though, as was observed before, 
 he could not obtain those things wherein their enthusiasm 
 itself consisted, and so could not become like them in 
 that respect, however he erroneously desired and sought 
 it. But certainly it is not at all to be wondered at, that a 
 youth, a young con vert, one who had his heart so swallow 
 ed up in religion, and who so earnestly desired its flourish- 
 
PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. xi 
 
 ing state and who had so little opportunity for reading, 
 observation, and experience should for a while be daz 
 zled and deceived with the glaring appearances of mis 
 taken devotion and zeal ; especially, considering the ex 
 traordinary circumstances of that day. He told me on 
 his death-bed, that while he was in these circumstances, 
 he was out of his element, and did violence to himself, 
 while complying in his conduct with persons of a fierce 
 and imprudent zeal, from his great veneration of some 
 whom he looked upon as better than himself. So that it 
 would be very unreasonable that his error at that time 
 should nevertheless be esteemed a j ust ground of prej udice 
 against the whole of his religion, and his character in 
 general ; especially considering how greatly his mind was 
 soon changed, and how exceedingly he afterwards lament 
 ed his error, and abhorred himself for his imprudent zeal 
 and misconduct at that time, even to the breaking of his 
 heart, and almost to the overbearing of his natural 
 strength ; and how much of a Christian spirit he showed, 
 in condemning himself for that misconduct, as the 
 reader will see. 
 
 What has now been mentioned of Brainerd, is so far 
 from being a just ground of prejudice against what is re 
 lated in the following account of his life, that, if duly 
 considered, it will render the history the more serviceable. 
 For by his thus joining for a season with enthusiasts, he 
 had a more full and intimate acquaintance with what be 
 longed to that sort of religion ; and so was under better 
 advantages to judge of the difference between that and 
 what he finally approved, and strove to his utmost to 
 promote, in opposition to it. In his testimony against 
 it, and the spirit and behavior of those who are influenced 
 by it, he also speaks from impartial conviction, and not 
 from prejudice; because he thus openly condemns his 
 own former opinions and conduct, on account of which 
 he had greatly suffered from his opposers and for which 
 some continued to reproach him as long as he lived. 
 
 Another M .iffUifitfffllt nn m Brainerd, which may be 
 observe^ in ~the~7oT Tow! n g account of his life, was his be 
 ing excessive in Jiis labors ; not taking due care to pro- 
 
xii PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. 
 
 portion his fatigues to his strength. Indeed, the case 
 was very often such, by the seeming calls of Providence, 
 as made it extremely difficult for him to avoid doing more 
 than his strength would well admit of ; yea, his circum 
 stances, and the business of his mission among the In 
 dians, were such, that great fatigues and hardships were 
 inevitable. However, he was^ finally convinced^ that he 
 kad jirred in this matter, and that he ought to have taken 
 more thorough care, and been more resolute to withstand 
 temptation to such degrees of labor as injured his 
 health ; and accordingly warned his brother, who suc 
 ceeds him in his mission, to be careful to avoid this 
 error. 
 
 Besides the imperfections already mentioned, it is 
 readily allowed that there were some imperfections 
 which ran through his whole life, and were mixed with 
 all his religious affections and exercises ; some mixture 
 of what was natural, with that which was spiritual ; as it 
 evermore is in the best saints in this world. Doubtless 
 natural temper had some influence in the religious exer 
 cises and experiences of Brainerd, as it most apparently 
 had in those of David and Peter, of John and Paul 
 There was undoubtedly very often some mixture of mel 
 ancholy with true godly sorrow, and real Christian hu 
 mility ; some mixture of the natural fire of youth 
 with his holy zeal for God ; and some influence of 
 natural principles, mixed with grace in various other 
 respects, as it ever was and ever will be with the 
 saints, while on this side heaven. Perhaps none were 
 more sensible of Brainerd s imperfections than hiYnself; 
 or could distinguish more accurately than he, between 
 what was natural, and what was spiritual. It is easy for the 
 judicious reader to observe, that his graces ripened, that 
 the religious exercises of his heart became more and more 
 pure, and he more and more distinguishing in his judg 
 ment, the longer he lived. He had much to teach and 
 purify him, and he failed not to make his advantage. 
 
 Notwithstanding all these imperfections every pious 
 and judicious reader will readily acknowledge, that what 
 is here set before him, is a remarkable instance of true 
 
PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. xiii 
 
 and eminent piety, in heart and practice tending 
 greatly to confirm the reality of vital religion, and the 
 power of godliness ; that is most worthy of imitation, 
 and in many ways calculated to promote the spiritual 
 benefit of the careful observer. 
 
 The reader should be aware, that what Brainerd wrote 
 in his diary, out of which the following account of his life 
 is chiefly taken, was written only for his own private use ; 
 and not to obtain honor and applause in the world, nor with 
 any design that the world should ever see it, either while 
 he lived, or after his death ; except a few things which 
 he wrote in a dying state, after he had been persuaded 
 with difficulty, not entirely to suppress all his private 
 writings. He showed himself almost invincibly averse 
 to the publishing of any part of his diary after his death ; 
 and when he was thought to be dying at Boston, gave 
 the most strict peremptory orders to the contrary. But 
 being, by some of his friends there, prevailed upon to 
 withdraw so strict and absolute a prohibition, he was 
 finally pleased to yield so far, as that " his papers should 
 be left in my hands, that I might dispose of them as I 
 thought would be most for God s glory, and the interest 
 of religion." 
 
 But a few days before his death, he ordered some 
 part of his diary to be destroyed, which renders the ac 
 count of his life the less complete. And there are some 
 parts of his diary here, left out for brevity s sake, which 
 would, I am sensible, have been a great advantage to 
 the history, if they had been inserted ; particularly the 
 account of his wonderful success among the Indians ; 
 which for substance, is the same in his private diary 
 with that which has already been made public in the 
 journal he kept by order of the society in Scotland, for 
 their information. That account, I am of opinion, 
 would be more entertaining and more profitable, if it 
 were published as it is written in his diary, in connexion 
 with his secret religion, and the inward exercises of his 
 mind, and also with the preceding and following parts 
 of the story of his life. But because that account has 
 been published already, I have therefore omitted that 
 
XIV 
 
 PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL ELITION. 
 
 part. However, this defect may in a great measure be 
 made up to the reader by the public journal.* But it is 
 time to end this preface that the reader may be no long 
 er detained from the history itself. 
 
 JONATHAN EDWARDS. 
 
 * [The extracts from the Journal here referred to, were for the first time incorporated 
 with the Diary in Dwight s New Haven edition, published in 1822, which forms the 
 basis of the present edition. J. M. S.] 
 
PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. 
 
 THE beginning of the eighteenth century was an 
 epoch in the history of modern missions. The Danish 
 Mission to India was organized in 1/14, and continued 
 to do efficient work until the close of the century, when 
 Rationalism undermined its roots. The Moravians, or 
 United Brethren, also began early in the century their 
 wonderful missionary career, and have not ceased their 
 energetic efforts down to the present day. They have 
 sent out nearly 2,300 missionaries, of whom more than 
 600 are still in the field. In Germany and England the 
 good work was also begun quite early in the century. 
 In England the Society for the Propagation of the 
 Gospel in Foreign Parts was founded in 1701, but did 
 very little until the opening of the present century. It 
 gave some attention to the Indians and the Negroes of 
 the American Colonies. The Society for Promoting 
 Christian Knowledge was more active. Collections for it 
 were taken up even at court, and George I showed his in 
 terest in the work by writing a cordial letter to Zieyen- 
 balg and Griindler, leading missionaries. In Edinburgh 
 a Scotch Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge 
 was founded in 1709, and also a Corporation for the 
 Propagation of the Gospel in New England. It was the 
 former of these Scotch societies that employed David 
 Brainerd and several other missionaries to labor among 
 the Indian tribes of this New World ; and the latter 
 
xvi PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. 
 
 aided in the support of Jonathan Edwards among the 
 Stockbridge Indians. 
 
 About the year 1740, several distinguished ministers 
 in the city of New York and its vicinity, among them, 
 Ebenezer Pemberton, of New York, Aaron Burr, of New 
 ark, and Jonathan Dickinson, of Elizabethtown, communi 
 cated to this society "the deplorable and perishing state 
 of the Indians in the provinces of New York, New Jer 
 sey, and Pennsylvania." In consequence of this repre 
 sentation, the society agreed to maintain two mission 
 aries among them, to convert them to Christianity ; and 
 in pursuance of this design sent those gentlemen, and 
 some others both clergymen and laymen, a Commission 
 to act as their Commissioners, or Correspondents, " in 
 providing, directing, and inspecting the said Mission." 
 
 Thus empowered, these Commissioners immediately 
 looked out for two candidates for the ministry, whose 
 zeal for the interests of the Redeemer s kingdom and 
 compassion for perishing souls would prompt them to 
 such an exceedingly difficult and self-denying under 
 taking. They first prevailed with Mr. Azariah Horton 
 to relinquish a call to an encoruaging parish, and to de 
 vote himself to the Indian service. He was directed to 
 Long Island in August, 1741, at the east end of which 
 there were two small towns of Indians ; and, from the 
 east to the west end of the island, lesser companies 
 settled at a few miles distance from one another, for the 
 distance of about one hundred miles. At his first 
 arrival he was well received by most, and cordially wel 
 comed by some of them. Those at the east end of the 
 Island, especially, gave diligent and serious attention to 
 his instructions ; and many of them were led to ask the 
 solemn inquiry, -What they should do to be saved ? " A 
 
PREFACE OF THE PRESENT EDITION. xvii 
 
 general reformation of manners was soon observable 
 among most of these Indians. The spiritual results of 
 his ministry were truly remarkable. Just how long he 
 labored among them, and what were the total fruits, we 
 have no authentic record. 
 
 " It was some time after this, before the Corres 
 pondents could obtain another missionary. At length 
 they prevailed upon David Brainerd to refuse several 
 invitations to places where he had a promising prospect 
 of a comfortable settlement, to encounter the fatigues 
 and perils which must attend his carrying the Gospel of 
 Christ to these poor, miserable savages."* Brainerd 
 was examined and approved as a missionary by this 
 Commission in the city of New York, and assigned to 
 his field of labor. He began his work at Kaunaumeek, 
 an Indian settlement between Stockbridge and Albany, 
 and subsequently labored among the Indians of New 
 Jersey and Pennsylvania. 
 
 At the request of the Society in Scotland, he regu 
 larly forwarded to them a copy of his journal, which 
 contained a succinct account of his missionary work. 
 .That society published extracts from this journal in two 
 parts; the First in 1746, commencing with his resi 
 dence at Crossweeksung (June 19, 1745, and ending 
 Nov. 4, 1745), under the title : 
 
 " Mirabilia Dei inter Indices ; or the rise and Pro 
 gress of a remarkable Work of Grace, among a number 
 of Indians, in the Provinces of New Jersey and Pennsyl 
 vania : justly represented in a Journal, kept by order 
 of the Honorable Society in Scotland for Propagating 
 Christian Knowledge, with some General Remarks ; by 
 
 * Preface of the "Correspondents" to Brainerd s Letter to Pemberton. 
 
PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. 
 
 David Brainerd, Minister of the Gospel, and Mission 
 ary from the said Society." 
 
 The second part (Nov. 24, 1745 to June 19, 1746) 
 was published in the latter part of that year ; and was 
 entitled : 
 
 " Divine Grace Displayed ; or the Continuance and 
 Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace among some 
 of the Indians belonging to the Provinces of New 
 Jersey and Pennsylvania ; justly represented in a Jour 
 nal, kept by order of the Honorable Society in Scotland 
 for Propagating Christian Knowledge ; with some Gen 
 eral Remarks ; by David Brainerd, Minister of the 
 Gospel, and Missionary from the said Society." 
 
 These two parts have always been called " Brain- 
 erd s Journal ;" and were published during his life. 
 
 Brainerd died at the house of Dr. Jonathan 
 Edwards, at Northampton, Mass., October 9, 1747, 
 leaving all his papers in his hands (a portion of his 
 diary he had previously destroyed) "that he might 
 dispose of them as he thought would be most for God s 
 glory and the interest of religion." Of these the most 
 valuable was the account of his early life, which we give 
 entire, and the original copy of his diary. From these 
 authentic records President Edwards prepared a Life 
 of Brainerd chiefly in Brainerd s own words which 
 was published in Boston in 1749, with the following 
 title : 
 
 "An account of the Life of the Late Rev. David 
 Brainerd, Missionary to the Indians, from the Hon. 
 Society in Scotland for the Propagation of Christian 
 Knowledge ; and Pastor of a Church of Christian 
 Indians in New Jersey ; who died at Northampton, 
 October 9th, 1747, in the 3Oth year of his age. 
 
PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. X 1X 
 
 " Chiefly taken from his own Diary, and other private 
 writings, written for his own use ; and now published by 
 Jonathan Edwards, A. M., Minister of the Gospel at 
 Northampton." 
 
 Edwards Life of Brainerd did not include his 
 " Journal," which had already been published abroad, in 
 two parts, under the auspices of the Scottish Society 
 which employed and supported him. 
 
 In 1822, a new memoir was prepared by the Rev. 
 Sereno E. Dwight, D. D., a great-grandson of Jonathan 
 Edwards, embracing, in addition to the matter contained 
 in the original " Life," the whole of Brainerd s " Journal," 
 together with his Letters and other writings, and Re 
 flections on his Memoirs, by President Edwards. This 
 "complete" Memoir was published at New Haven, in 
 1822, and afterwards included in the works of President 
 Edwards, in ten octavo volumes, edited by the same 
 author, and published in New York in 1830. 
 
 This complete Memoir is now entirely out of print, 
 and is accessible only in Public Libraries, and in con 
 nection with the ten volume edition of Edwards works. 
 
 The present edition is based on Dwight s edition, 
 and is equally full and complete, except that it omits the 
 Sermons of Pemberton and Edwards (except that which 
 bears directly on Brainerd), and occasional lines thrown 
 in by the Biographer, where he omitted some entries in 
 the Diary, to indicate the fact and the drift of the 
 omitted parts. Portions of the Memoir have been slightly 
 revised and condensed by the present Editor, chiefly for 
 literary reasons ; a few Notes have been added on points of 
 historic interest, and also an Introductory Chapter on the 
 Life and Character of Brainerd. And, in addition, like 
 wise, a stirring Essay on God s Hand in Missions, written 
 
xx PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. 
 
 at our special request by the Rev. Arthur T. Pierson, 
 D. D., whose vigorous and eloquent pen has often done 
 efficient work in the great Missionary enterprise of 
 the nineteenth century. 
 
 The whole is commended to the blessing of the 
 Great Head of the Church, with the earnest prayer that 
 this humble effort to elevate the standard of personal . 
 consecration to Christ, and to revive and extend an in 
 terest in that Cause which is " The Glory of the Age," 
 may not be wholly in vain. If the reader shall find that 
 intense interest and spiritual quickening in reading 
 these Memoirs that the writer has experienced in revis 
 ing them (having first read them forty years ago), he 
 will thank him for calling attention to them and making 
 them again accessible. 
 
 JAMES M. SHERWOOD. 
 BROOKLYN, June, 1884. 
 
INTRODUCTION 
 
 THE 
 
 LIFE AND CHARACTER 
 
 OF 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD 
 
 BY 
 J. M. SHERWOOD. 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 As the lives of men are written down in human His 
 tory and estimated by the world, the life of DAVID BRAIN 
 ERD was singularly uneventful and insignificant an in 
 finitesimal factor in human existence. Born in a little 
 hamlet in New England, living in the period of our colo 
 nial dependence and obscurity, modest and humble in 
 disposition, educated in a very quiet fashion, without 
 worldly ambition, devoting his brief life to the welfare 
 of a few Indians scattered over the wilderness districts of 
 New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, and jlyjng in 
 his thirtieth year there was nothing in the outward 
 events of his life to attract attention, or make his life in 
 any respect noteworthy in the eyes of mankind. 
 
 He was not a genius, nor an orator. His scholarship 
 was not very remarkable. He laid no foundations of 
 empire. He made no discoveries. He achieved no 
 literary fame. And yet young BRAINERD had that in him 
 of which heroes and martyrs are made. He was a repre 
 sentative man of the truest and noblest type. His is a 
 character of such saintliness, of such lofty aims and 
 principles, of such intense loyalty to " Christ and him 
 crucified," and of such all-absorbing love for souls and 
 desire for God s glory, that it has left a lasting impression 
 on the Christian Church, and his name will travel down 
 
xx iv LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 the centuries, hallowed in the memory of the good, and 
 regarded as one of the brightest stars in the constella 
 tion of Christian worthies. 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD is a household name to-day wherever 
 exalted piety is revered, or moral worth is cherished, or a 
 heroic and self-sacrificing spirit is honored. Although 
 his life was brief, it was long enough to take on an im 
 mortal impress ; to develop a character, a purpose, a 
 richness of experience, a fervor of spirit, and a longing 
 after holiness and usefulness, as grand and majestic, as 
 rare and glorious. The gift he laid upon Christ s altar was 
 a priceless gift ; and the Divine Master has honored and 
 blessed it, to enrich the faith, and stimulate the zeal of 
 those who came after him. The short life of the " Mis 
 sionary of the Wilderness," spent in teaching a few 
 ignorant savages the way of life, has already borne abun 
 dant fruit to the glory of God, and will continue to do 
 so to the end of time, as few lives have done or will 
 do. " Being dead he yet speaketh" Through the silence 
 of nearly one hundred and fifty years he is speaking to 
 day, with trumpet tongue, words of almost matchless 
 power ; speaking also by example, by his " Diary," and 
 "Journal," and " Letters," recording in simple words his 
 religious experiences from day to day his hopes and 
 fears, his joys and trials, his self-reproaches and longings 
 after a higher life speaking to our young men in college 
 and seminary and in the several professions, and to those 
 just entering upon life s work in the gospel ministry 
 speaking indeed to the Church at large, urging the claims 
 of dying millions, and the obligations of redeeming love. 
 Little did the solitary, and often lonely and despond 
 ing missionary, ruminating in his wigwam or log hut 
 in the forest, which his own hands had built, sleeping on 
 his pallet of straw, or on the floor, or out in the woods, liv- 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. X XV 
 
 ing on poor and scanty food, often sick and suffering, with 
 " none to converse with but poor rude, ignorant I ndians "; 
 wrestling with God and with his. own heart day and night, 
 and writing down in his journal an account of his inner life 
 and daily work ; little did he dream that that life, whose 
 surroundings were so unpromising, whose scene of la 
 bor was so secluded, and whose errors and shortcomings 
 cost him so many regrets and bitter tears, would carry 
 light and conviction and stimulus all over Christendom 
 and down the centuries. But so it has proved. BRAIN- 
 ERD S Memoirs have been read and wept over for almost 
 one hundred and fifty years, by Christians of all lands and 
 creeds and conditions ; and they are as full of Christian 
 life and power to-day as when Jonathan Edwards gave 
 them to the press in 1 749. It is certainly one of the most 
 wonderful auto-biographies extant. No better manual of 
 Christian experience has ever been given to the world, 
 bating the vein of morbid melancholy which runs through 
 it. No loftier example of Christian heroism and conse 
 cration to the work and purpose of Christianity has been 
 held up since the apostolic age. His life has been a 
 potent force in the grand missionary movement of mo 
 dern times. Reading the life of BRAINERD decided 
 Henry Martyn to become a missionary and "imitate his 
 example." William Carey likewise received a powerful 
 inspiration from the same source. Jonathan Edwards, the 
 greatest theologian of his times, had never appeared in 
 the role of a " missionary to the Stockbridge Indians," 
 had he not come into intimate contact with the seraphic 
 spirit of this missionary apostle and martyr, for such he 
 truly was. Thousands and tens of thousands of Chris 
 tians in America and Europe, and all over the mission 
 ary world, have had their piety deepened, their faith 
 quickened, and their spirit of consecration fanned into a 
 
xxvi LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 flame, by reading the wondrous record of this man s life 
 and Christian experience, whose brief ministry was spent 
 among the Indians of the American wilderness. 
 
 Let us study carefully the brief life, and analyze the 
 remarkable character of BRAINERD, that we may learn 
 the secret of his great power and abiding life in the 
 Church ; learn what there was in his religious character 
 and experience which lifted him immeasurably above his 
 age and surroundings, the conditions and incidents of 
 his being, and identified him with the conflicts and 
 triumphs of the Church in all times, and placed him 
 among the foremost characters in religious history. 
 
 As we have already intimated, the annals of his life 
 were few and simple. He was born of pious and respect 
 able parents ; of good Puritan stock. He was left an 
 orphan at fourteen. He was cared for by kind Christian 
 friends. He entered Yale College, but was expelled 
 after two years and before graduation, for a trifling 
 offence. We shall notice this further on, for it was an 
 act of cruel injustice, and had a marked influence on his 
 character and whole future life. He pursued his theo 
 logical studies in a private way with a pastor, as theo 
 logical seminaries were not yet established. He was 
 licensed to preach at the age of twenty-six. Declining 
 several urgent invitations to settle in New England, and 
 a highly flattering one from Long Island, he deliberately 
 and solemnly devoted himself to missionary work among 
 the Indians, scattered among the several colonies. And 
 having once put his hand to the plow, he looked not 
 back, but gave himself, heart, and soul, and mind, and 
 strength, to his chosen mission, with unfaltering purpose, 
 with apostolic zeal, with a heroic faith that feared no 
 danger and surmounted every obstacle, and with an 
 earnestness of mind that wrought wonders on savage 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xxvii 
 
 lives and whole communities, but which in four years 
 broke down his health and consigned him to an early 
 grave. 
 
 We cannot appreciate the choice he made, the kind of 
 life he lived, or the work he accomplished, unless we 
 look at the times and the circumstances in which he 
 lived and wrought. 
 
 It calls for no great sacrifices, in our day, to be a 
 missionary to the heathen world. There is now a wide 
 spread and grand missionary spirit and sentiment existing 
 in the Church. Thousands have gone forth to labor in 
 distant fields. The eyes of the Christian world are upon 
 them, the sympathies and prayers of the great Christian 
 brotherhood follow them. They go for the most part in 
 groups, and carry home, and Christian society, and civili 
 zation, with them. They know that behind them, watch 
 ing and deeply interested in them, sustaining them, and 
 praying for them, are great National Societies, thus giv 
 ing dignity, character and importance to their missionary 
 work. 
 
 But how different was the case with reference to 
 BRAINARD and his times. It was before the birth of 
 modern missions. Christian missions had then no stand 
 ing in the American Church. There was little or no 
 faith in them, No prayers were offered for them, 
 either in public or in the closet. There was no public 
 sentiment calling for missions to the heathen and 
 pagan world. Not a dollar was contributed or pledged 
 to the support of missionaries. The few hundreds 
 necessary to BRAINERD S support in the mission 
 which he undertook, came from over the sea. It 
 was a little foreign society, organized in Edinburgh, 
 Scotland, too far away to extend effective sympathy to 
 
xxviii LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAJNERD. 
 
 its distant missionary that undertook to " hold the 
 ropes " while he made the venture. So little missionary 
 interest existed in this country that even seventy years 
 afterward when the first American missionaries were 
 sent out to foreign parts, the money needed to defray ex 
 penses was sought in England. 
 
 And then BRAINERD had to undertake and carry on 
 the work literally alone ; he had no associate or helper. 
 Although authorized by the Society to employ " two mis 
 sionaries," the Commission, which acted for it, could 
 find but one so little interest was then felt in such a 
 work. One young man, solitary and unsupported, went 
 forth into the wilderness, in obedience to the Saviour s 
 great command ; and there with his single hands laid the 
 foundation of Christ s kingdom in that field ! It was an 
 act of sublime heroism ! He touchingly alludes, at 
 times, to his " loneliness " only Indians to associate 
 with no one to speak to in English, or commune with 
 wholly destitute of the comforts of civilized life the 
 only white in a community of savage Indians, and many 
 days journey remote from a white settlement. His only 
 mode of travel was on horseback, through dense and 
 trackless forests; often obliged to sleep out in the 
 woods," exposed to dangers and hardships of every kind, 
 often weary and sick, dejected and cast down. But 
 never wavering in his purpose, never regretting his 
 choice ; incessantly at work, preaching, catechizing the 
 Indians, moving among them like an angel of light, 
 pleading with them in the name of Christ, and pleading 
 their cause against greedy and unprincipled whites, who 
 sought to corrupt and rob them (as is so often done 
 in our time) as he had opportunity, and ceasing not 
 his arduous and self-sacrificing labors for their temporal 
 and spiritual welfare, until his strength was finally ex- 
 
LIFE AMD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xxix 
 
 hausted and his life worn out. Then, by slow and pain 
 ful journeys, he made his way back to his native New 
 England to die ! 
 
 Surely, whatever may be the case at present, there 
 was no "romance" in missionary life in such an age, among 
 such a people, in such surroundings, amidst such repul 
 sive scenes and conditions of physical and social life. 
 
 His, then, was not the dream of a visionary enthusiast. 
 Had it been, his zeal would quickly have abated, and the 
 enterprise been abandoned. But instead of being dis 
 gusted or disheartened by the terrible experiences which 
 he encountered, he rose superior to them all, and prose 
 cuted his mission with the zeal of a Paul, and made his 
 life a <; living oblation." His work grew in interest and 
 love and dignity to the last. And when, finally, health 
 and strength utterly failed him, under a constant strain 
 upon his physical and mental energies amidst severe pri 
 vations and hardships, it cost him the bitterest pangs to 
 cease his work and turn his back upon his " dear Indians " 
 and abandon the field. And he ceased no t his prayers 
 and efforts in their behalf, so long as life remained in 
 him. Through the subsequent months of severe sick 
 ness, and while lying on his death bed, his Indian mis 
 sion was continually on his mind. Again and again was 
 he heard to plead with God for its continued prosperity. 
 His efforts also to interest his friends in it were unceas 
 ing ; and he would not rest until he had induced his 
 brother John, whom he " loved the best of any being on 
 earth," to take his place and prosecute the great work 
 which he had been compelled in the providence of God 
 to relinquish. 
 
 That BRAINARD rose above the spirit of his age for 
 the spirit of Evangelism is the measure of the Church s 
 
XXX 
 
 LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 life and taking his life in his hands, alone and single- 
 handed, went forth into the wilderness to preach Christ 
 to savage tribes, and was permitted to witness among 
 and upon them astonishing displays of God s converting 
 grace demonstrates the high order of his faith in God, 
 and of his consecration to the great work of the world s 
 salvation. 
 
 No eulogy can exalt such a man. The simple story 
 of his life proves him to be one of the most illustrious 
 characters of modern times, as well as the foremost mis 
 sionary whom God has raised up in the American Church 
 one whose example of zeal, self-denial and Christian 
 heroism has probably done more to develop and mould 
 the spirit of modern missions and to fire the heart of the 
 Church in these latter days, than that of any other man 
 since the apostolic age. One such personage, one such 
 character, is a greater power in human history than a 
 finite mind can calculate. 
 
 His CHARACTER. 
 
 An analysis of his character it is not difficult to make, 
 for the leading traits or qualities of the man stand out 
 in bold relief and challenge our observation and admi 
 ration. 
 
 The first thing that impresses the reader of BRAIN- 
 ERD S life is the genuineness and depth and thorough 
 ness of his personal piety. We see at once that there is 
 nothing superficial, transient, doubtful, half-hearted about 
 it. We are brought into contact with a Christian charac 
 ter, and a Christian experience, and a Christian life, 
 most rare and extraordinary in many of their elements and 
 features. There is something startling and awe-inspiring 
 in the depth and intensity of his religious "frames" and 
 " exercises," as recorded so frankly and faithfully in his 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xxxi 
 
 diary, running through several years, with no expectation 
 that any eye save his own and God s would ever read 
 them. " He belongs to a class of men," as one has well 
 said, "who seem to be chosen of Heaven to illustrate 
 the sublime possibilities of Christian attainment men 
 of seraphic fervor of devotion, and whose one, overmaster 
 ing passion is to win souls for Christ, and to become 
 wholly like him themselves." 
 
 The Law made thorough work with him. His sense 
 of the evil, guilt, and awfulness of sin, of his own deep 
 moral corruption and desert of God s wrath, his personal 
 unworthiness, and entire dependence on Divine grace, 
 and his constant need of the Holy Spirit to cleanse, 
 enlighten and sanctify, was most profound and ever 
 present with him. He could not find language strong 
 enough to express his hatred of sin and desire to be en 
 tirely and forever cleansed and delivered from it. He 
 longed and strove after holiness, after complete victory 
 over sin and the world and the devil, after entire con 
 formity to the will and likeness of Christ, with a strength 
 and intensity of soul that seems almost superhuman. 
 
 2 His consecration to tJie Master s service tuas, seem 
 ingly, entire and sublime. Not since the apostolic age 
 has the Church produced a grander illustration of the 
 power of the Gospel to subdue human selfishness, and the 
 love of ease and pleasure and self-indulgence, and to make 
 Jesus Christ supreme, " all and in all," in the affections 
 and life of the soul. Like Paul, he made a total surrender 
 of every faculty and power of body, soul and spirit, to the 
 Divine Son of God, and at the same time an unreserved, 
 absolute consecration of his life and being to His ser 
 vice. He could not love and serve God enough. He was 
 jealous of his own heart and life, lest he should not render 
 
xxxii LIFE AKD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 every day and hour a full measure of loveand labor. He kept 
 nothing back. From the time he gave himself to Christ, 
 he devoted his life and strength and attainments and 
 acquirements and opportunities to the work of saving 
 souls, without recreation, without cessation, sparing him 
 self in no particular ; serving God to the full extent of 
 his ability, and even beyond. The amount of work he 
 did was almost incredible. He broke down his consti 
 tution in four short years, by exposure, privation, and 
 labors of every kind ; literally wore his life away in the 
 cause of his blessed Master. It is affecting in the 
 highest degree, to read the entries in his journal from 
 day to day, of what he did, what he attempted, what he 
 longed to accomplish ; and, in the midst of his incessant 
 labors, to hear him bemoan his shortcomings, his bar 
 renness of spirit, his unfruitfulness, and pray God to 
 forgive him his unfaithfulness and grant him a new bap 
 tism of love and zeal. Here is a specimen : 
 
 Here I am, Lord, send me; send me to the ends of the earth ; send 
 me to the rough, the savage pagans of the wilderness ; send me from all 
 that is called comfort in the earth ; send me even to death itself if it be 
 but in thy service and to promote thy kingdom." 
 
 And it was no ascetic or misanthrope that wrote 
 thus, for he adds : 
 
 " At the same time I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of 
 earthly blessings as I ever had, but only saw them infinitely overmatched 
 by the worth of Christ s kingdom. Farewell friends and earthly comforts, 
 the dearest of them all ; the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it: adieu, 
 adieu; I will spend my life, to my latest moments, in caves and dens of 
 the earth, if the kingdom of God may thereby be advanced. 
 
 He was affianced, as is well known, to a youthful 
 saint, of rare gifts, the youngest daughter of Jonathan 
 Edwards ; and such a pure, intelligent and sensitive 
 nature as his, would have enjoyed, in an eminent degree, 
 the felicity of domestic life. But he sacrificed even this. 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xxxiii 
 
 and plunged alone into the wilderness and passed his 
 years with savages, that he might win them to 
 Christ. The little patrimony left him, he also devoted to 
 the education of a poor and promising young man for the 
 ministry, soon after entering upon his missionary work. 
 3. His love for souls amounted to a passion, ^cvJiicJi 
 nothing could cool or conquer. No miser ever clung to 
 his treasure as he grasped this idea and made it an ever 
 present and supreme object with him. No matter where 
 he went, or what were his surroundings, the ruling bent 
 of his soul was manifest. In health and in sickness, in 
 his wigwam among the Indians, on his numerous and 
 solitary journeys, from settlement to settlement in the 
 wilderness, and in his occasional visits to New England, 
 his supreme desire was to convert souls; and no occa 
 sion, no opportunity, did he fail to improve, however 
 weary or racked with pain, or weak or broken down from 
 disease. This intense, ever burning passion often finds 
 expression, as when he writes in his diary : 
 
 "O how I longed that God should be glorified on earth. Bodily pains 
 I cared not for, though I was then in extremity. I never felt easier; I felt 
 willing to glorify God in that state of bodily distress, so long as he pleased 
 I should continue in it. The grave appeared really sweet, and I longed 
 to lodge my weary bones in it : but O that God might be glorified ! this 
 was the burden of all my cry. O to love and praise God more, to please 
 him forever ! this my soul panted after, and even now pants for while I 
 write, O that God might be glorified in the whole earth ! Lord let 
 thy kingdom come ! . . . O the blessedness of living to God ! . . . Spent 
 two hours in secret duties, and was enabled to agonize for immortal souls, 
 though it was early in the morning and the sun scarcely shone, yet 
 my body was quite wet with sweat. . . With what reluctance did I feel my 
 self obliged to consume time in sleep ! I longed to be a flame of fire, con 
 tinually glowing in the divine service, and building up Christ s kingdom to 
 my latest, my dying moment." 
 
 Is it any marvel that many souls even the souls of 
 such ignorant and degraded savages were given to 
 
XXxiv LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 him ? And he never regretted his devotion and self- 
 sacrificing zeal in this work. Read his thrilling words, 
 as he hung over eternity while in Boston. " I declare 
 now I am dying, I would not have spent my life other 
 wise for the whole world." 
 
 4. His humility and spirit of self-denial and cheerful 
 submission to deprivations and hardships for the Gospel s 
 sake, are touchingly illustrated in his life. According to 
 President Edwards testimony, he was a young man of 
 "distinguished talents ; " "had extraordinary knowledge 
 of men and things ; " had " rare conversational powers ;" 
 " excelled in his knowledge of theology, and was truly, for 
 one so young, an extraordinary divine, and especially in 
 all matters relating to experimental religion." " I never 
 knew his equal of his age and standing, for clear and ac 
 curate notions of the nature and essence of true religion." 
 His " manner in prayer was almost inimitable, such as I 
 have very rarely known equalled." He " had a very ex 
 tensive acquaintance, and engaged the attention of re 
 ligious people in a remarkable degree." He had also 
 many invitations to settle in his own New England, and 
 an urgent and oft-renewed call to " East Hampton the 
 fairest, pleasantest town on Long Island, and one of its 
 largest and wealthiest parishes." So that he did not give 
 himself to the missionary work, as is often, though unjust 
 ly, said of other missionaries in these days, because he 
 could not succeed at home. His talents, gifts, and Christ 
 ian attainments made him the peer of New England s 
 < most gifted preachers, with few exceptions. 
 
 But he put from him all these tempting offers, and 
 all considerations of a merely personal and temporal na 
 ture, and gave his whole self for life to the work of teach 
 ing the poor American Indians the way of salvation. 
 And he had no thought that he was doing anything won- 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. X XXV 
 
 derful, or that he was degrading himself, or throwing 
 away his talents and life by so doing. O;i the contrary, 
 he evidently felt that God had greatly honored him in 
 calling him to such a service ; and he consecrated his 
 heart and soul and mind and strength and life to it, with 
 as much heartiness and enthusiasm and ambition as 
 though he were ministering to a highly cultured people 
 in some conspicuous and wealthy parish. 
 
 So real and great was his humility that he often ex 
 pressed his surprise that he was called to such a noble 
 service; that the Indians should have any respect for 
 him, or show him any attention, or that any good should 
 come from his labors. H is privations and Jiardships like 
 wise were such as few missionaries have ever experi 
 enced. An extract or two will serve to introduce the 
 reader to his mode of life : 
 
 " My diet consists mostly of hasty-pudding, boiled corn, and bread 
 baked in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and butter. My lodging 
 is a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards a little way from the ground, 
 for it is a log room without any floor, that I lodge in ... I have now 
 rode more than 3,000 miles [on horseback] since the beginning of March 
 [8 months] . . . Frequently got lost in the woods . . . At night 
 lodged in the open woods . . . crept into a little crib made for corn 
 and slept there on the poles." 
 
 And yet not one word of complaint do we hear. Even 
 in his times of extreme melancholy and dejection, and 
 they were frequent ; when sick and racked with pain ; 
 when lonely and disconsolate, not one breath of murmur 
 rises to Heaven. His forest home was often a " Bochim, 
 or as the 4< valley of Baca," as it respected the outward 
 man and his surroundings. And, yet, even then and 
 there, like Jesus after the temptation of the wilderness, 
 angels comforted him and his soul often exulted, while 
 he magnified the God of his salvation, " who giveth 
 songs in the night." 
 
xxxvi LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 $. He exemplified the law of Christian meekness and 
 forgiveness in a preeminent degree. The unusual atten 
 tion which his extraordinary career and saintly character 
 attracted, at home and abroad ; the sympathy and in 
 terest manifested in him by many of the most eminent 
 ministers of his day, among whom were Jonathan Ed 
 wards, Bellamy, the Tennants, Pemberton, Aaron Burr, 
 and Jonathan Dickinson, and the high esteem in which 
 he was held by the Christian world, especially towards 
 the close of his life, did not tend in the least to elate 
 him. On the contrary as in all cases of real and emi 
 nent worth and superiority it only tended to make 
 him more humble; it induced Christian meekness, and 
 filled him with a profound sense of his unworthiness. The 
 expressions of this feeling in his journal are frequent, 
 emphatic, and evidently sincere. 
 
 In all the annals of human life and experience, except 
 ing those of the God-Man, we have no more striking ex 
 ample of Christian forgiveness titan the life of BRAINERD 
 furnishes. Take a single particular. 
 
 He was wronged ; wronged as few men in similar cir 
 cumstances, ever were wronged. He was wronged by 
 a public institution ; wronged before the world ; nay, it 
 is not uncharitable to say that he was persecuted, in 
 sulted, outraged and all redress refused, and that against 
 the united, solemn, and earnest protest of such men as 
 President Edwards, Burr, Dickinson, Pemberton, and 
 many others of the most distinguished men of the times. 
 He was wronged in a way to mortify and humiliate and 
 injure a young man of his ambition, and talent and gen 
 uine manliness and high Christian character and stand 
 ing, to the utmost possible extent. The wrong was per 
 sisted in, with iron determination and relentless severity. 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER Of BRAINERD. xxxvii 
 
 even after he had made the most manly and Christian ac 
 knowledgment and confession that it was possible for the 
 college authorities to exact, or a gentleman, respecting his 
 own manhood, truth and righteousness, could consist 
 ently make. 
 
 And that \\efelt the wrong exquisitely, and smarted 
 under it, and carried the memory and the scar of it to his 
 grave, his diary affords abundant and affecting proof. This 
 ill treatment, at his tender years, had much to do with his 
 dejection at times. It preyed upon his sensitive nature. 
 He felt as if a brand was placed upon his forehead. 
 Most of all he mourned over it, because he thought reli 
 gion suffered in consequence of it. No one can read the 
 entries made in his journal during his visit to New 
 Haven a year after his expulsion, at the time when he 
 would have graduated but for that unjust procedure 
 afraid to show himself in the town for " fear of imprison 
 ment" hiding away in the house of a friend in the out 
 skirts of the town, as if "guilty of some open and noto 
 rious crime," and there spending commencement day in 
 prayer and sweet converse with Christian friends and 
 not feel his heart rise in rebellion against that stern 
 and unrighteous decree which on that occasion crushed 
 his last hope of redress ! Earnest application was made 
 on his behalf to the authorities of the college by a 
 " council of ministers at Hartford," and by Edwards, 
 Burr, and many other distinguished men in the various 
 colonies, that he might be allowed to take his degree 
 with his class. But all in vain. Yet here is the entry 
 he made in his diary in this bitter hour of disappoint 
 ment : 
 
 " Sept 14. This day I ought to have taken my degree ; [this being Com 
 mencement day] but God sees fit to deny it to me. And though I was 
 greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with perplexity and confusion, when 
 
xxxviii LIFE AXD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 I should see my classmates take theirs ; yet, at the very time, God en 
 abled me with calmness and resignation to say, the will of the Lord be 
 done. Indeed, through divine goodness, I have scarcely felt my mind 
 so calm, sedate, and comfortable, for some time. I have long feared this 
 season, and expected my humility, meekness, patience, and resignation, 
 would l>c much tried ; * but found much more pleasure and divine comfort, 
 than I expected. Felt spiritually serious, tender and affectionate in. pri 
 vate prayer with a dear Christian friend to-day." 
 
 But notwithstanding the wrong clone him was so 
 great, and was so obstinately persisted in to the last ; 
 notwithstanding he suffered in his feelings as only a 
 man of such exquisite natural and moral sensibilities 
 could surfer, not once was he known to speak harshly or 
 unkindly of those who had committed the injury. Not 
 a line is found in his diary alluding to the matter that 
 breathes other than a spirit of Christlike charity and 
 forgiveness ; while he was fervent and frequent in his 
 prayers in behalf of those who had " so ill used him." 
 The same spirit that cried out from the cross, " Father, 
 forgive them, for thy know not what they do," animated 
 the heart of this youthful disciple while living, and to 
 day encircles his brow with a halo of Christlike glory. 
 
 6. But the crowning excellency of BKAINERD was the 
 large measure of the spirit of Prayer which characterized 
 his life. Prayer was his chief reliance, and the secret of 
 his remarkable success. Much of his time was spent in 
 prayer. Days and nights were thus passed ; and he 
 grieved when anything interfered to keep him from his 
 knees in solitary and prolonged intercession and commun 
 ion with Gocl. Closely in this respect did he follow in 
 the footsteps of Jesus. Prayer was his solace, his inspi 
 ration, his strength. No part of his diary or journal is 
 of more thrilling interest to any and every Christian 
 
 * Had he been allowed to ?raduate, he would hate been at the head ui his class, and 
 that class the largest that ha-i ever graduated at that college. 
 
LIFE AA D CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xxxix 
 
 worker, either in the home or the foreign field, than the 
 numerous entries in relation to his seasons of secret 
 prayer. Few saints, this side of heaven, ever got so 
 near to the throne of God in prayer ; ever so " wrestled 
 with the angel of the covenant ; " ever experienced such 
 communion with the Father of spirits until his soul ex 
 ulted and overflowed with the fulness of " ineffable com 
 forts." Read a specimen or two : 
 
 " Had the most ardent longings after God, which I ever felt in my 
 life. At noon, in my secret retirement, I could do nothing but tell my 
 dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew I desired nothing but himself, 
 nothing but holiness ; that he had given me these desires, and he only 
 could give me the things desired. I never seemed to be so unhinged from j 
 myself, and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swallowed up I 
 in God most of the dav ... Felt much comfort and devotedness to God j 
 this day. At night, it was refreshing to get alone with God, and pour out \ 
 my soul. Oh, who can conceive of the sweetness of communion with the \ 
 blessed God, but those who have experience of it ! Glory to God for | 
 ever, that I may taste heaven below . . . Retired early for secret devotion, \ 
 and in prayer God was pleased to pour such ineffable comforts into my ! 
 soul that I could no nothing for some time but say over and over, O my \ 
 sweet Saviour ! O my sweet Saviour ! whom have I in heaven but thee, I 
 and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. If I had a thou- j 
 sand lives, my soul would gladly have laid them all down at once to have f 
 been with Christ . . . My soul was this day at turns sweetly set on God; j 
 I longed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt sweetly dis- \ 
 posed to commit all to him, even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my 
 absent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. O, that his 
 kingdom might come in the world, that they might all love and glorify 
 him for what he is in himself, and that the blessed Redeemer might see 
 of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied! Oh come, Lord Jesus, come 
 quickly ! Amen." 
 
 Is it wonderful that such a habit of prayer, and such 
 experiences in prayer in the closet, should have made his 
 social and public prayers edifying and striking in a re 
 markable degree? President Edwards testimony on 
 this point is very explicit and noteworthy : " I know not 
 that 1 ever so much as h:ard him ask a blessing or return 
 
xl LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 thanks at table, but there was something remarkable to be 
 observed both in tlie matter and manner of the performance" 
 Prayer, in secret and personal communion with God, will 
 temper the whole spirit of a Christian, and put its im 
 press upon his social and public habits. If you witness 
 habitual fervency, and fullness, and power, and a wrest 
 ling spirit in prayer, on the part of any disciple, you may 
 be sure the habit has been acquired in secret intercourse 
 with God upon his knees. Prayer is not so much 
 a gift as a grace, implanted, nourished and matured in 
 long and intimate communion with the Hearer of prayer. 
 
 The end of such a life, as we might anticipate, was 
 peace and joy peace in fullness of measure, and " joy 
 unspeakable and full of glory." A glance in his dying 
 chamber reveals the fact that it was "quite on the verge 
 of heaven." Says President Edwards: 
 
 " On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay for a considerable time, as if he were 
 dying. At which time he was heard to utter, in broken whispers, such 
 expressions as these : He will come, he will not tarry. I shall soon be 
 in glory. I shall soon glorify God with the angels. . . . The extraordi 
 nary frame he was in that evening could not be hid. His mouth spake 
 out of the abundance of his heart, expressing in a very affecting manner 
 much the same things as are written in his diary. Among very many other 
 extraordinary expressions which he then uttered, were such as these : 
 1 My heaven is to please God and glorify him, and to give all to him and 
 to be wholly devoted to his. glory; that is the heaven I long for 
 that is my religion, and that is my happiness, and always was ever since 
 I suppose I had any religion: I do not goto heaven to be advanced 
 but to give honor to God. It is no matter where I shall be sta 
 tioned in heaven whether I have a high or a low seat there, but to 
 love and please and glorify God is all ; if I had a thousand souls, if 
 they were worth any thing,! would give them all to God. 
 
 It only remains that we touch upon the matter of 
 young BRAINERD S expulsion from Yale College and vin 
 dicate his memory from the aspersion cast upon his good 
 
LIFE AXD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xh 
 
 name by that high-handed measure. Sure we are that 
 no unprejudiced mind, possessed of the facts of the case 
 on which the act was based, as carefully stated by Pres 
 ident Edwards, and also by BRAINERD himself, in his 
 journal and letters, can come to any other conclusion 
 than that the College authorities erred in expelling him 
 in the first instance, for so slight an offence erred in 
 inflicting the severest academical punishment in their 
 power for a word spoken in confidence to two or three col 
 lege mates and intimate religious friends, with no mali 
 cious intent ; that they erred again in refusing to accept 
 his very humble and penitent confession, and restore him 
 to his standing ; erred the third time by their strange and 
 relentless persistency in refusing the request of a large 
 number of the most distinguished clergymen in the col 
 onies, that BRAINERD might be allowed to take his 
 degree with the class from which he was expelled the 
 year before. Had his alleged offence been tenfold more 
 serious than it was, we cannot see how their conduct in 
 this instance could be justified, especially in view of the 
 peculiar circumstances of the case, and the fact that the 
 offending party had made a prompt and manly acknow 
 ledgment. 
 
 But the offence in fact was a trifling one, and one 
 that the offended tutor and the faculty of the college 
 ought not to have laid to heart or made a serious fuss 
 over. If the authorities of Yale, or of any other college 
 in the land to day, should expel a student for such an 
 offence, a cry of shame and indignation would ring 
 throughout the land. 
 
 The offence consisted of two particulars : The first 
 a hasty and foolish remark, reflecting on the piety of one 
 of the tutors, made in private to two or three fellow 
 
xlii LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAJNERD. 
 
 students, and overheard and reported by another student 
 who happened to overhear it. The other item was in 
 going to a religious meeting in the town when the col 
 lege had forbidden attendance on such meetings. That 
 was the whole of the offence. It seems scarcely credible to 
 us in these days. The last item must be ruled out. For 
 no college rulers had a right, legal or moral, to enact 
 such a rule. It was a high-handed assumption of power, 
 and was a fling at the promoters of the great religious 
 revival which then agitated and divided New Haven, and 
 many other parts of New England. And whether the 
 other offence the words applied to tutor Whittlesey 
 were true or false, there was, as all must admit, a great 
 deal to excuse or palliate the offence in the spirit and oc 
 currences in the life around him at the time. 
 
 A great religious movement was then on foot. White- 
 field, and other apostles of the New Evangelism, had 
 fired the hearts of multitudes. Excitement ran high. 
 The revival had shaken the town of New-Haven, and the 
 mass of college students had come under its power, BRAIN- 
 ERD among the rest, who entered into the work with all the 
 intensity of his earnest nature. " Ministers of long stand 
 ing," and churches without number, were divided in re 
 gard to these * New Lights," as they were called. Ex 
 travagancies and evils, according to President Edwards 
 testimony, mixed with much that was good. A censori 
 ous spirit was rampant. Whitefield himself publicly 
 judged and denounced ministers of standing and 
 experience, and many leading churches, also for their 
 supineness or opposition ; so much so that the 
 pastor of Northampton, while sympathizing with the 
 movement and throwing the great weight of his example 
 and preaching in favor of it, deplored the excesses of in- 
 
LIFE AXD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xliii 
 
 temperate zeal, and specially exposed and condemned 
 the censorious and self-righteous spirit which character 
 ized a portion of its promoters : even Whitefield him 
 self he censured and personally rebuked ! 
 
 Surely, when old and staid ministers, ministers of 
 learning and piety and recognized standing in the country, 
 were led away for the time being from the meekness and 
 sweet gentleness of Christ, and in speech and manner, 
 in preaching and praying, implied that all who were not 
 of their way of preaching, and praying all who cast not 
 out devils after their fashion all who failed to enter 
 heartily into their measures, or who dared to oppose 
 them, were hypocrites or graceless professors, the young, 
 inexperienced and zealous sophomore, who had caught 
 the contagion and entered into the excitement, and who 
 took an active part in the revival, which changed the 
 character of the college and numbered many of its 
 students among its converts, might have been pardoned 
 the hot, thoughtless words spoken in private concerning 
 the lack of piety in one of the tutors, who had just been 
 "pathetically" praying before the students! What 
 college law was broken ? What was there in the nature 
 and extent of the offence to call for college discipline ? 
 Were there not many palliating considerations in the 
 times and in the circumstances of the case ? Would not 
 a reprimand have been all that the offence called for ? 
 On what principle of justice or fairness could they visit 
 upon him, a student too of blameless virtue and exemplary 
 piety, condign punishment and blast his future prospects 
 and consign him to disgrace, so far at least as their ac 
 tion had effect ? Fortunately it did not seriously injure 
 the character of Brainerd, even at the time, or lessen the 
 high esteem in which he was held by his friends ; while 
 it served to rally to his support many of the most 
 
xliv LIFE AXD CHARACTER OF BRA1NERD. 
 
 eminent ministers of his time, and called forth great 
 sympathy and interest in his career, not only over all 
 New England, but also in New York, New Jersey, and 
 Pennsylvania. And God so overruled the matter, that, 
 beyond all question, it was one of the chief causes which 
 led to the establishment of Princeton College. 
 
 There is one point suggested by these memoirs that 
 is worthy of careful consideration by all the friends of 
 missions at the present time : it relates to the methods 
 and the machinery of missionary operations. I do not 
 propose to discuss this important and vital question 
 here, but simply to note the example of this eminent 
 Christian and missionary, and the results of his labors. 
 
 Brainerd literally obeyed the ascended Lord. He 
 went forth with the Bible only in his hands. He gave 
 himself to prayer, and to the preaching of the word of 
 God, to catechetical instruction, to direct efforts to con 
 vert souls and train them for Christ. He at once began 
 \Q preach to these untutored, uncivilized, degraded barba 
 rians, the central truth of Christianity, the cardinal doc 
 trines of the Christian system the very same doctrines 
 which Jonathan Edwards then preached in Northampton, 
 and which Dr. John Hall preaches today on Fifth 
 Avenue in New York City : and he preached them with 
 the same distinctness, and discrimination, and directness, 
 and urgency, and application ; and the same results 
 followed ! He had to preach through an interpreter. He 
 labored under a thousand disadvantages. But he honored 
 God s word, God s method of saving sinners; and he 
 preached and prayed with faith in the efficacy of the Gos 
 pel and the Holy Spirit s power ; and the effect, the fruit, 
 was the same at Kaunaumeek, and Crossweeksung, 
 and at the Forks of the Delaware, as at Northampton, 
 and in New York City, and in primitive times. 
 
LIFE AXD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xlv 
 
 Have we not, in these days of weak faith and decay 
 of spiritual life, departed quite too far from the apostolic 
 idea and practice, in our missionary endeavors ? Are we 
 not making organizations, schools, civilizing influences, 
 machinery, and merely human devices, altogether too 
 prominent ? Is not the natural, if not the inevitable ten 
 dency of such a policy, to unduly exalt the human ele 
 ment, at the expense of the Divine ? And is not the 
 effect to weaken our hold on God ; to lessen the felt ne 
 cessity of prayer and the Holy Spirit s omnipotent 
 energy ? Is not precious time lost ? are not energies 
 wasted ? and is not the time of harvest delayed ? 
 
 Christ understood perfectly the conditions and ne 
 cessities of the case, and the nature and adaptability 
 of the Gospel to its end, when he commissioned the 
 disciples to go and teach all nations. And we know 
 how the disciples understood his message, and how 
 they obeyed it ; their one uniform and universal method 
 among Jews and Greeks and Romans, alike among bar- 
 barians,and in civilized communities, was to preach Christ 
 and him crucified, and to organize and gather the converts 
 into Christian churches on the simple basis of the 
 Gospel. They knew nothing about our modern theories, 
 and accessories. We do not find the slightest trace of 
 any of these modes or machinery in the primitive 
 Church s effort to evangelize the world. And human na 
 ture is the same to-day ; and the condition of the heathen 
 world is essentially the same. And yet we have drifted 
 into a totally different method. We have come virtually 
 to put civilization, education, preparation, before and in 
 place of the Gospel. It is not " the foolishness of 
 preaching" so much as it is the perfection of appli 
 ances, and constructive agencies, and civilizing forces, 
 
xlvi LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 that is the Church s main reliance to-day for the evan 
 gelization of the world, both nominally Christian and 
 heathen. 
 
 The Indians to whom BRAINERD ministered, were 
 exceedingly ignorant ; their social and moral condition 
 was of the lowest order. They were simply savages. 
 And yet, the Gospel, as preached and expounded to 
 them by this single young isolated missionary, whose 
 heart was all aflame with the love of God, and who spent 
 hours every day on his knees in prayer, was made 
 mighty unto God for their salvation. The grace of 
 God achieved in four short years among that degraded 
 race, as signal and as glorious a triumph as it achieved 
 under Whitefield and Edwards among the civilized and 
 educated whites. No one can trace the history of God s 
 converting and transforming grace at Kaunaumeek and 
 Crossweeksung note the operation of Gospel truth and 
 of the Holy Spirit s influence on these ignorant and de 
 graded sinners and especially such manifestations of 
 power and grace as are recorded in chapter ten of these 
 memoirs, and doubt for one moment the sufficiency of 
 the Gospel in the hands of the Spirit of God, when 
 wisely and faithfully preached, in faith and with impor 
 tunate prayer, to transform and elevate any people, how 
 ever depraved and degraded. O for the simplicity, the 
 faith, the whole-heartedness, the reliance on the teach 
 ings of Christ and " the witness of the Spirit," which char 
 acterized the early Christians, and characterized the life 
 of BRAINERD ! The Church must yet come to this, or the 
 " millenial " age, for which she has prayed and waited 
 so long, will prove only a pleasing dream. May a 
 renewed study of the life and example and achievements 
 of this illustrious missionary help to bring it about ! 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD 
 
 BRAINERD, and his co-workers on the same field 
 Eliot, Horton, Sergeant and Edwards really solved 
 for us the Lidiau problem, and we have been almost a 
 century and a half finding it out ! Had the work which 
 they began among and in behalf of the aboriginal tribes 
 of North America, been continued and prosecuted to its 
 legitimate end ; had the policy which they clearly 
 marked out and inaugurated in their treatment of the In 
 dian race viz., honest dealing, evangelization, education, 
 teaching the industrial arts ; had this Christian policy 
 been recognized and pursued by the United States in 
 their subsequent dealings with them what untold 
 millions of treasure had been saved the nation ! what 
 bloody wars and frightful massacres had been averted ! 
 The long dark record of injustice, cruelty, perfidy, treaty- 
 breaking the strong oppressing the weak, high-handed 
 unrighteousness in the sight of Heaven and the civil 
 ized world had not been written ! At length the truth, 
 which these missionary pioneers clearly perceived and 
 exemplified in their teaching and lives, begins to dawn 
 upon the American mind ! The Gospel of Jesus Christ, 
 the church, the ministry, the school, Christian society 
 and civilization, are coming at length to be recognized 
 as the only forces and methods to settle this perplexing 
 question, which has so long overmatched alike the wisdom 
 of statesmanship, the resources of military genius and 
 power, and the humanities of philanthropy. 
 
 We bless God to-day for such a noble life, for such a 
 saintly character, and for such an example of Christ- 
 like sacrifice and toil in the glorious cause of human re 
 demption ! That life, that character, that example, are 
 calling to us to-day calling by the printed page 
 which perpetuates his wondrous, burning testimony 
 
xlviii LIFE A. YD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 calling by those earnest soul-wrestlings and prayers, 
 which God witnessed and heard in the American wil 
 derness five generations ago calling by those displays 
 of Almighty and regenerating grace which he was the 
 occasion and the instrument of displaying among the 
 heathen and savage tribes of this new world calling by 
 the tongues of prophets long dead ; by the sacrifices 
 and the triumphs of modern missions, and by the hopes 
 and expectations of the Church of God, to awake out of 
 sleep and take hold of the work of the world s conver 
 sion in dead earnest. The appeal is made to us, of this 
 generation, as truly as though an angel were flying 
 through the midst of heaven, summoning the sacramen 
 tal host of God s elect to be up and doing ; to go up 
 and possess the land ; to thrust in the sickle and reap ; 
 to " stand and see the salvation of God." The prayer 
 of the Church for more than eighteen hundred years 
 has been : " Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on 
 earth as it is in heaven." And the apocalyptic angel 
 has joined in the grand chorus, " Even so come, 
 Lord Jesus ! Amen." The souls under the altar, that 
 were slain for the word of God, are crying : " How 
 long, O Lord, holy and true ? " The earth groan- 
 eth and travaileth in pain for her redemption hour. The 
 nations which sit in darkness stretch forth their hands 
 unto us and are struggling upward toward the light. 
 There are signs, too, in the heavens, and commotions 
 on the earth, and stately steppings of Almighty power 
 and regenerating grace in the providential world, which 
 plainly indicate that Christ the Lord is speedily coming 
 to take to himself his great power and assert his king 
 ship over all and establish his millenial reign on the 
 earth. 
 
 The preparation of long ages is now complete. 
 
LIFE AA D CHARACTER OF BKAINERD. x lix 
 
 Prophecy has closed its testimony. The promises are 
 world-embracing. Discipline, waiting, training, devel 
 oping, laying foundations, have had their day and done 
 their assigned work. The time for ACTION has now fully 
 come the time for a combined assault on the Kingdom 
 of Darkness the time for a grand aggressive movement 
 all along the line. The trumpet is sounding to the 
 charge ! In the name of the Lord of Hosts, lift up the 
 banner of Righteousness and fling to the breeze the all- 
 conquering standard of our Immanuel. Long since the 
 Church had her marching orders : " Go ye into all the 
 world and preach the gospel to every creature ! " Why 
 hesitate ? Why wait for other manifestations ? 
 
 Young men and maidens ! can you look on the stir 
 ring scenes which this world presents to you to-day 
 the world in which the Eternal Son of God has planted 
 the Cross, the symbol of Omnipotent Love and Divine 
 Sacrifice, by which He is to conquer and reign over a re 
 deemed universe can you view these scenes and events 
 and not long to participate in the glorious struggle and 
 the glorious conquest ? Ye Brainerds, and Henry Mar- 
 tyns, and Careys, and Judsons, and Livingstones ye 
 Harriet Newells and Mrs. Judsons this is the day for 
 such as you to come to the front and assert your 
 mission, and fire the heart of the sacred brotherhood 
 with flaming zeal and holy enthusiasm and a self-denying 
 spirit the day to emulate the faith, the heroic spirit, and 
 the sublime self-sacrifice of Paul and Peter and John 
 and the other primitive disciples. 
 
 We are approaching the close of the nineteenth cen 
 tury, and what a century it has been, especially the latter 
 half of it, in the way of change, development, progress, 
 achievement ! Stirring events are transpiring before us 
 
1 LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. 
 
 every day. Divine providence is writing history with 
 a rapidity and on a scale of magnitude unparalleled in the 
 past. And have these things no significance ? Have 
 you no personal interest in them ? Is not God speaking 
 in them all, to you, to me, to every disciple, with loud 
 and solemn voice? Are not especially \htyoungmen 
 of this generation " brought to the kingdom " at a mo 
 mentous crisis in the world s history ? Is not human 
 life to day, measured by its opportunities, its responsibil 
 ities, its possibilities, worth a hundred lives in ages gone 
 by ? Did ever a generation have such opportunities to dis 
 tinguish itself in the grand march of human events ? Was 
 ever such a cry heard from so many lands, and from the 
 isles of the sea from India and from Africa, from China 
 and Japan and Mexico from so many races and nations 
 and peoples and tongues saying, " Come over and help 
 us," as now resounds throughout Christendom ? 
 
 If we will not respond to these wondrous Providential 
 calls these calls of the Spirit of God, these calls of a 
 groaning and perishing world, going up day and night to 
 heaven like the sound of many waters we shall be thrust 
 aside, and the kingdom, the work, the honor, and the vic 
 tory, will be given to another. For, CONVERTED TO THE 
 LORD JESUS CHRIST, this world will be. The Eternal God 
 has purposed it. Prophecy has proclaimed it with a thou 
 sand tongues. Divine promises without number are the 
 pledges of it. All the instrumentalities and facilities 
 necessary to its accomplishment have been made ready. 
 All over the earth prayer is ascending for the hastening 
 of the work. Christianity was never such a living 
 power in the world as it is to day, despite the unbelief 
 and wickedness of the times. The Anglo-Saxon race 
 the race of progress and dominion, the custodian of 
 Christianity which numbered but 7,000,000 when the 
 
LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. }{ 
 
 Pilgrim Fathers replanted Christianity on these desolate 
 shores, numbers to-day 100,000,000, and is marching 
 on to universal supremacy ; while the achievements of 
 the last seventy years in the missionary field, are on a 
 scale of grandeur unparalleled in the history of the 
 Church, not excepting even the apostolic period. A few 
 decades of years will decide the momentous issue ; will 
 flood the earth with supernal glory, or witness the going 
 down of the sun of human hopes in a night of darkness 
 that shall have no morning ! 
 
GOD S HAND IN 
 
 MISSIONS. 
 
 BY 
 ARTHUR T. PIERSON, D.D. 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. 
 BY THE REV. ARTHUR T. PIERSON, D. D. 
 
 SCIENCE, as nature s interpreter, can show us no greater 
 wonders than the crystal and the cell ; one the miracle 
 of inorganic symmetry, the other the mystery of 
 organic life. But when God s Spirit reveals to us 
 the wonders of Grace, he shows us holy lives, which com 
 bine the beauty of the crystal with the energy of the 
 cell ; not a cold, imprisoned luster, but a radiance that 
 shines with the living light of God. 
 
 " History is philosophy teaching by examples," said 
 Dionysius of Halicarnassus. David Brainerd is a 
 luminous example of the spirit of missions, and of its 
 transfiguring power in human character ; and he is 
 alphabetically at the head of a noble army of martyrs, 
 illustrious in missionary history. His name is inseparably 
 linked with those of Burns, Bushnell, Carey, Dober, Duff, 
 Eliot, Ellis, Edwards, Fiske, Grant, Gutzlaff, Gulick, 
 Goodell, Henderson, Judson, Jessup, Livingstone, Lindley, 
 Martyn, Milne, Moffat, Morrison, Mayhew, Newell, Per 
 kins, Riggs, Rhea, Stoddard, Scudder, Schwartz, Turner, 
 Williams, Wolfe, and a host of others, whose bio 
 graphies read like new chapters in the acts of the 
 apostles, and the logic of whose lives both demonstrates 
 and illustrates this great truth, that the spirit of mis 
 sions is the spirit of the Master. 
 
 To those who feel the force of the scripture appeal, 
 
I A T MISSIONS, 
 
 all further argument for a world-wide Evangelism is 
 needless. The Iron Duke called those last words of 
 our Lord, " the marching orders of the Church, 1 to be 
 promptly and implicitly obeyed. But, when the positive 
 precept of the Holy Scripture is buttressed by con 
 siderations of every sort, personal and social, temporal 
 and spiritual ; when events add their unanswerable 
 logic ; when the Pillar of God moves before the Church ; 
 what true disciple can longer hesitate! The mind must 
 be overwhelmed with conviction, and the heart inspired 
 with enthusiasm, in witnessing to a lost world ! 
 
 Facts are the fingers of God. Although indifference 
 is not always born of ignorance, there will be little zeal 
 without knowledge. To awaken a deep passion for the 
 universal and immediate spread of gospel tidings, 
 believers must be brought face to face with those grand 
 facts, which make the march of modern missions the 
 miracle of these latter days. 
 
 The watchword of every Christian life is, <c the 
 obedience of faith," and such obedience depends upon 
 knowledge of God s will. His direct command and the 
 voice of an enlightened conscience are two permanent 
 and perpetual sources of that knowledge ; but in the 
 leadings of his providence and the teaching of his 
 Spirit, we shall find two more sources, supernatural 
 and confirmatory of the others, All of these combine 
 and concentrate, as in one burning focal point of power, 
 urging us onward to the outposts of civilization and the 
 limits of human habitation, with the Word of life ! 
 
 The Gospel is God s economy of grace for the ruined 
 race of man. Back of human sin is one fall; and the 
 second Adam brings to man, as man, one rising again, one 
 divine remedy, one generic redemption. Between those 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. ] v ii 
 
 lost souls and that great salvation, there is one living link, 
 the witnessing lips and lives of believers. Here then 
 is the glorious work for the Church to do : being one 
 with Christ by faith, love is so to link us to the lost as 
 to make us a bond between him and them. 
 
 What altar ever before so sanctified the gift ! The 
 widow s mites, laid on that altar, are magnified and 
 glorified as well as sanctified : they grow into shekels 
 of the sanctuary, precious as gold, pellucid as crystal. 
 And when self is laid on that altar of missions, those 
 fires of God come down, which, instead of consuming, 
 transfigure with celestial glory. 
 
 In these days, out of the midst of the cloud, the 
 vocal, moving Pillar of God s providence, sounds as loud 
 a call as was ever heard by his people. It is the clarion 
 voice of command, for an advance all along the lines. 
 Not only do the precept and promise of our ascending 
 Lord inspire us to service and sacrifice, but the trumpet 
 signals of prophecy are echoed, enforced, emphasized 
 by a new voice sounding in our ears, louder and clearer, 
 every day, bidding us " go forward ;" while the Pillar itself 
 moves, and marks its course by actual conquest, advancing 
 in the face of gigantic foes and obstacles, and leading 
 on to complete triumph the little missionary band that 
 have the faith and fortitude to follow. 
 
 Our Lord s last command was joined to a promise 
 of supernatural signs, a promise sealed by actual fullfil- 
 ment in the early history of the Church. Because those 
 signs ceased in their fullness and frequency, it has been 
 assumed that they were limited in purpose as well as 
 period. The Scriptures hint no such limits, and the 
 notion of such limitation was &&afttrtkonght t v&, apology 
 for their cessation. 
 
Iviii GOD S IIAA D /A MfSSIOXS. 
 
 We need not go so far to account for the disap 
 pearance of those early signs. If they were to be our 
 Lord s seal and sanction upon the universal preaching 
 of the Gospel, their decline may be sufficiently accounted 
 for by the decay of evangelical faith, and especially of 
 evangelistic zeal. Will it be said that there is no need 
 now of marked Divine interpositions ? The primitive 
 saints plead with God to grant them " boldness in speak 
 ing his word, by stretching forth his hand to heal " and 
 doing "signs and wonders in the name of Jesus." There 
 was never a day, when constant and convincing proofs 
 of the supernatural were more needed than now, to 
 embolden us to meet worldliness and wickedness, 
 materialism and naturalism ! And we believe that such 
 supernatural signs abound in exact proportion to the 
 measure of the response we yield to the command, 
 " Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every 
 creature." To prove and illustrate this, is the object of 
 this paper. Professor Christlieb unhesitatingly affirms 
 that in the history of modern missions, " we find many 
 wonderful occurrences which unmistakably remind us 
 of the apostolic age." This statement is confirmed by 
 the observation and experience of all who themselves 
 fall into this grand march of missions, and keep abreast 
 of these advancing lines. They have such a sense of 
 Divine presence and guidance, as makes the pillar of 
 cloud vivid and almost visible; they feel the inspiration 
 of an Almighty Power, co-working with human weakness, 
 and they seem at times to catch glimpses of the very 
 Shekinah. 
 
 Whatever may be said or thought of the genuineness 
 of "modern miracles," one " everlasting sign" remains 
 which, according to prophecy, " shall never be cut off." 
 
COD S HAND IN MISSIONS. Jix 
 
 Isaiah says, (< instead of the thorn shall come up the 
 fir-tree, and instead of the brier, the myrtle-tree." The 
 power of husbandry is shown in displacing noxious 
 and offensive growths, by fair, fragrant, useful plants 
 and trees. So God gives this unfailing sign and proof 
 of supernatural power, that in the soil of the human 
 soul and the broader fields of human society, he is now 
 and always displacing hateful and hurtful opinions, 
 motives and practices, by the lovely and glorious pro 
 ducts of his gracious culture. 
 
 To this everlasting sign, then, as well as to the plain 
 proofs of his moulding hand in the history of mission 
 ary advance, we may constantly and confidently appeal. 
 Transformations of personal character, and of entire 
 peoples, by the power of his Gospel and Spirit, con. 
 stitute the everlasting sign of divine, supernatural 
 energy, at work in this world, a sign as convincing and 
 conclusive as the restoration of sight to the blind, hear 
 ing to the deaf, or life to the dead ! 
 
 When we add to these spiritual transformations, 
 the rapid opening of doors, great and effectual, in the 
 face of many adversaries; the effecting of entrance to 
 the very heart and center of the Pagan, Papal and 
 Moslem world ; the steady onward movement of a 
 feeble mission band, undismayed by the giant Anakim 
 with their formidable fortresses and engines of war, we 
 have, to a discerning spiritual eye, as satisfactory proof 
 that God is moving in modern missions, and by his 
 pillar of cloud and fire goes before his people, as was 
 furnished when the Red Sea heaped up its waves, 
 Jordan drove back its waters, or Jericho s walls fell flat ? 
 In a word, we affirm that the results of the labors of the 
 
Ix GOD S If AND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 present era of missions present a problem which cannot 
 be solved without the Divine Factor. 
 
 This great field might be viewed from many points 
 on the horizon, and the whole march of the Lord s hosts 
 is marked by his own golden footsteps. But for brevity 
 of statement, and unity of impression, we select a few 
 of the conspicuous proofs of Divine interposition. 
 
 1. The removal of barriers, opening doors of access, 
 and flooding of lands with the Gospel. 
 
 2. The direct transformation of individual character 
 and of entire communities. 
 
 3. The indirect results in the modification of exist 
 ing evils, and the elevation of society. 
 
 4. The reflex influences on the workers themselves 
 and on the churches which sustain them. 
 
 I. First, there has been a progress in missions dur 
 ing the last century, which would have been impossible 
 without the intervention of a higher power. 
 
 It is scarcely sixty years ago when the Church as a 
 body took up the work of evangelizing the world. At 
 that time obstacles, like mountains, stood in the way. 
 When this century began, Ten great barriers, to human 
 view insurmountable, interposed between the Church 
 and the fullfilment of the Lord s command. We may 
 group them into four classes. 
 
 I . Obstacles to approach : Many great peoples were 
 not accessible. 
 
 In the pagan world, China was walled about ; Japan s 
 ports had stood shut and sealed, even against merchant 
 ships, for three centuries ; India was held by an En 
 glish power, really hostile to missions ; Africa was im 
 penetrable even to the explorer ; and the isles of the 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixi 
 
 sea, crowded with cannibals, were more to be dreaded 
 than the hungry jaws of an angry ocean. 
 
 In the Moslem world, blind bigotry crushed all free 
 dom of speech or thought as with the iron flail of Talus, 
 and the death penalty, like the sword of Damocles, over 
 hung every Mohammedan who dared look from the 
 crescent towards the cross. 
 
 In the Papal world, though nominally Christian, 
 there was less hope of doing evangelistic work than 
 among the cannibals of Fiji. The Waldenses found 
 that to those who sought even to keep the pure faith, 
 the Vatican was an Olympus for its gods, a Sinai for its 
 thunders, and a Calvary for its blood. Even travelers 
 visiting the eternal city had to leave their Bibles out 
 side, and no Protestant chapel was tolerated within its 
 limits. 
 
 Secondly, obstacles to intercourse : 
 
 Even where there was outward approach, there was 
 often no real access. Serious hindrances to communi 
 cation existed. Slow methods of transportation made 
 travel so tedious as to make even neighbors seem 
 foreigners ; languages, strange and hard to master, 
 offered no mould in which to cast spiritual ideas, and at 
 least sixty of them must be reduced to writing, having 
 no literature or even lexicon or grammar ; woman was 
 hopelessly shut up in seraglios, zenanas and harems ; 
 degraded into a beast of burden, little above the cattle 
 for which she was bartered, or the donkeys with which 
 she was associated ; denied not only any social status, 
 but even a soul, "unwelcome at birth, untaught in child 
 hood, enslaved when married, accursed as widow, un- 
 lamented when dead." And to all these obstacles to 
 intercourse we must add that most gigantic foe, caste, 
 
Ixii GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 which seemed to make alike impossible, conversion, or 
 communion among converts. 
 
 Thirdly, obstacles to impression : 
 
 The unevangelized world was divisible into two 
 classes : first those races which seemed too low to be 
 reached and elevated by the Gospel ; and secondly those 
 which seemed too high to feel any need of its uplifting 
 power. In some the image of God seemed not only 
 defaced but effaced ; in whom even the image of man 
 could scarcely be discerned, who for shamelessness were 
 dumb beasts, and for ferocity wild beasts, savage, brutal, 
 bestial, beyond all hope of being moulded anew ; not 
 only dehumanized but demonized. 
 
 Others, like the two hundred millions of India, or 
 the twice two hundred millions of China, boasted hoary 
 civilization and faiths, high culture, and a social morality 
 that might compare favorably with that of many Chris 
 tian communities, while they were under the sway of a 
 subtle, sophistical priesthood, and entrenched in self- 
 complacence and self-sufficiency. What could the 
 Gospel do, in confronting nations, proud of antiquity 
 and aristocracy, where apostasy was counted a sin 
 against God and a crime against the State, admitting 
 no apology, and having no forgiveness here or here 
 after ? 
 
 Fourthly, obstacles to action : 
 
 In the Christian Church itself, some of the worst 
 hindrances existed. Disgraceful iniquities and immo 
 ralities in Christian lands, with which the Church was 
 complicated, made the very Gospel itself a stench, where 
 it should have been a sweet savor, to the pagan world. 
 China cannot forget that England forced opium upon 
 her, even at the cannon s mouth ; Africa remembers 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. kiii 
 
 that the very nations that now bring missionaries to 
 her coast, not long since stole slaves from those same 
 shores ; and the Hawaiians caught the consuming 
 leprosy of lust from the trading ships of Christian lands, 
 as the North American Indians took the infection of 
 drunkenness from contact with our higher " civilization." 
 An awful shadow hung in advance over our mission 
 work, when intercourse with Christendom had proved 
 already a greater calamity than complete isolation ! 
 Think of the missionary landing on foreign shores, only 
 to bewail the fact that the shuttle of commerce had 
 already woven a band of contact with the Christian 
 people whom he came to represent ! 
 
 Worse than all, apathy and lethargy reigned in the 
 Church. Ignorance of God s work, and of man s need, 
 made the prevailing indifference the more hopeless. 
 Some professed disciples were not only without sym 
 pathy, or full of apathy, but showed absolute antipathy 
 towards missions ; while sectarian strife and jealousy 
 checked effort and cooled ardor, wasting energies that, 
 if harmoniously united and concentrated, would have 
 multiplied present results many fold. The zeal that at 
 times seemed to be enkindled flashed into the flame 
 of temporary excitement and then died away, leaving no 
 lasting results in self-sacrifice. Dr. Judson said his 
 hand was nearly shaken off, and his hair shorn off for 
 mementoes, by those who would willingly let missions 
 die : and Dr. Bushnell declared that no obstacle abroad 
 was so disheartening to him as the churches at home, 
 one half of which give nothing, and the other half give 
 little and pray less. How could missionaries go down 
 into the awful depths of heathenism with no one " to 
 hold the rope." 
 
Ixiv GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 Such are a few of the representative obstacles that, 
 within the memory of men still living, defied all human 
 wisdom and power. To-day, if they are not all gone, 
 they are down like Jericho s walls, and we climb over 
 their ruins to take the strongholds of Satan ! 
 
 It is vain to hope to pack into a few paragraphs the 
 immense mass of facts, which no candid disciple can 
 superficially survey without becoming a convert to mis 
 sions. We see God s angel going before the missionary 
 band, till within a century their lines reach round the 
 world. Land after land opens its two-leaved gates to 
 admit the heralds of the cross, till every people becomes 
 accessible. What were rallying points for gospel efforts 
 in 1820, in 1870 were radiating centres for gospel light 
 to lands yet in the death-shade. Converts multiply and 
 churches are gathered, in the most discouraging fields, 
 till India becomes a starry firmament of mission stations ; 
 Turkey is planted with crosses, from the Golden Horn 
 to the Tigris ; Syria sends Arabic Testaments to the 
 bounds of the Moslem world ; Japan takes, giant strides 
 toward a Christian civilization ; Polynesia s isles lift 
 church-spires, thousands in number, toward the sky ; 
 Africa is crossed with a chain of gospel outposts ; and 
 even Papal lands welcome the open Bible and the Prot- 
 testant preacher! 
 
 He who studies history piously and prayerfully, not 
 only sees the Hand of God in these recent developments, 
 but traces the moving Pillar far back in the centuries, 
 while as yet even the eyes of disciples were holden that 
 they saw it not. From the day when the Morning Star 
 of the Reformation rose, God has been unconsciously pre 
 paring his church for the world-wide preaching of the 
 Word. By the double reformation in philosophy and re* 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixv 
 
 ligion, he laid the basis for a purer and more primitive 
 faith and life, gave the Bible to the people in their own 
 tongue, made less distinct the dividing line between 
 clergy and laity, struck a blow at priestcraft, and by re 
 viving evangelical piety led the way to evangelistic 
 activity. Eyes, long blinded to the true character of 
 God, and the real destitution of man, now felt the touch 
 of partial restoration, and began dimly to see that a 
 lost world had a claim upon the saved for the Gospel. 
 
 Step by step of this marvellous preparation for the 
 modern era of missions followed in quick succession. 
 That triad of inventions, the mariner s compass, printing- 
 press, and steam navigation, made all nations neighbors, 
 and helped us to give wings to the word of God and to 
 the herald of the cross. But still the Church seemed 
 deaf, if not dead, to all sense of debt or love to a dying 
 world, and the proposal of missions to the heathen met 
 with sneers of ridicule. Dr. Ryland bade Carey " sit 
 down " and leave God to take care of a pagan world ; the 
 Scotch Assembly branded the idea of universal missions 
 as fanatical, dangerous and revolutionary, and stirred up 
 old John Erskine to pour into them hot shot and shell ; 
 and the Massachusetts Association timidly let a few 
 pioneers sail for the lands beyond the sea, half doubtful 
 whether the scheme of preaching the Gospel throughout 
 the world were not impracticable and visionary. And 
 all this within the last hundred years ! 
 
 Over against this hesitating Church of Christ stood 
 a compact phalanx of foes, Herod and Pilate friends to 
 gether in opposing Christ. Every Oriental empire 
 positively hostile to approach ; Mohammedanism and 
 Paganism visiting apostasy with death ; and oriental 
 churches with nothing but the empty shell of formalism, 
 
Ixvi GO&S HAND 7A r MSSSSOWS. 
 
 bent on persecution just as systematic and intolerant 
 The fact is, however, that through these iron gates of 
 Pagan hostility and Christian apathy,- a way has been 
 made for the chariot of our God, and the manner in 
 which this has been done compels us to say, like Pharaoh s 
 magicians, " This is the Finger of God." 
 
 Not to go back further, for four hundred years we 
 can trace signal providences casting up this broad, level 
 highway between the centers of Christendom and Pagan 
 dom. Near the close of the sixteenth century a new route 
 to the golden Indies by way of the Cape of Good Hope 
 led to the chartering of the East India Company a few 
 years later ; and so, while the Pilgrims were sowing the 
 seeds of this Christian Republic beneath the setting 
 sun, Protestant England planted an Empire toward the 
 sunrise and in the very heart of the Pagan Orient. Un 
 consciously the leading nation of the Protestant Chris 
 tian world was reaching out one hand eastward and the 
 other westward to lay the foundations for a world wide 
 Church. Subsequent conflicts in America and India 
 settled the question that in both hemispheres the cross 
 was to displace both the crescent and the crucifix. 
 
 By the middle of the eighteenth century, America 
 and Asia are respectively held by the two foremost 
 Protestant powers of the world. England has a firm 
 foothold in the critical centre of oriental missions, and 
 in her hands holds the keys of the kingdoms of the East. 
 This makes necessary, as a line of communication, an 
 open highway for travel and traffic between the mother 
 country and her eastern possessions. If Britain had any 
 right in India, she had a right to a safe and peaceful road 
 thither ; and this political necessity was used of God ul 
 timately to shape the attitude of every nation along that 
 
GOD S HAND AV M/SSfO.VS. . Ivvii 
 
 highway. Had England not held that highway to the 
 Indies, the destinies of Europe and Asia might have 
 been changed. Turkey would probably have been de 
 voured by Russia, or divided between Russia and 
 France; the Greek and Roman churches, crossing the 
 mountains, might have swayed all Asia and kept out 
 Protestant missions. Behold the hand of God, using 
 English arms and diplomacy to hold Popes, Czars and 
 Sultans in check, to shield converts from persecution by 
 Turkish Armenians, Persian Nestorians, Syrian Mos 
 lems, or Indian Brahmins ; and giving Britain a casting 
 vote in the affairs of the Sublime Porte ! 
 
 What means this Providential establishment of 
 British empire in India ! It is an entering wedge, driven 
 into the heart of Asia, a wedge, the direction of whose 
 cleavage is still eastward, splitting in twain these gnarled 
 and knotted trunks of mossgrown empires ! 
 
 Meanwhile, from seed sown at Plymouth, develops 
 another mighty, evangelizing power. The Protestant 
 Republic of America strides from Atlantic to Pacific, 
 and, planting foot on the western shores, moves toward 
 the eastern coasts of Asia, as though there were no more 
 sea. Here is God s counterforce, moving from the op 
 posite direction to meet England and oppose her enter 
 ing wedge with the resistance of co-operation, as anvil 
 opposes sledge hammer ! In other words another irrepres 
 sible conflict has come. Commerce will have her high 
 way round the world, and knocks imperatively at the 
 sealed ports and barred gates of exclusive Oriental 
 empires. 
 
 Our Republic leads the way. In 1853, Commodore 
 Perry sails into the bay of Yeddo, spreads the Star 
 Spangled Banner over the capstan, and the open Bible 
 
] X viii m GOD S HAXD IN MISSIONS. 
 
 upon the flag, and without firing a gun or shedding a 
 drop of blood, peacefully opens the ports of Japan to the 
 world. Five years later, four leading nations knock 
 loudly at the gates of China, and the walled kingdom 
 opens her doors ; expressly stipulating by treaty that 
 " any person, whether citizen of the country with which 
 the treaty is made, or Chinese convert to the faith of 
 the Protestant or Roman Catholic churches, who, accord 
 ing to these tenets peaceably teaches and practices the 
 principles of Christianity, shall in no case be interfered 
 with or molested! 1 This one edict of toleration gave 
 religious liberty to one third of the population of the 
 globe. 
 
 At one titanic blow, God levels an obstacle as high 
 as the Himalayas, and opens the way from the Bos- 
 phorus to the China sea, through the heart of Asia. 
 
 Passing by all other providential interpositions, let us 
 emphasize the recent unveiling of Africa. In August, 
 1877, after 999 clays from Zanzibar, Stanley, emerging 
 at the mouth of the Congo, completes the transit of the 
 Dark Continent. The dying cry of Jesus has rent the 
 last veil in twain, and the missionary has only to follow 
 the footsteps of the explorer ! 
 
 The same providence that opens the doors, prepares 
 the forces of his Church for the crusade. 
 
 The missionary advance of this century is directly 
 traceable to answered prayer. Since Luther nailed up 
 his theses, there has been no historic hour so dark as 
 the first half of the eighteenth century. Even England 
 was, as Isaac Taylor said, in " virtual heathenism," with 
 a lascivious literature, an infidel society, a worldly Church 
 and a deistic theology. Blackstone heard every clergy 
 man of note in London, but not one discourse had more 
 
COD S HAND IX MISSIONS. l x j x 
 
 Christianity in it than the orations of Cicero, or showed 
 whether the preacher was a disciple of Confucius, Ma 
 homet or Christ. In America, Samuel Blaine declared 
 that " Religion lay a dying." In France, Voltaire, 
 Rousseau, and Madame de Pompadour, led society ; and 
 in Germany, Frederick the Great made his court the 
 Olympus of infidels. 
 
 If Collins and Tyndal denounced Christianity as 
 priestcraft, Whiston called Bible miracles grand imposi 
 tions, and Woolston treated them as allegories ; if Clark 
 and Priestly openly taught the heresies of Arius and 
 Socinus, and even morality was trampled under foot, 
 what missionary activity could there be ? To diffuse 
 sucli Christianity would be disaster ; but happily such 
 a type of piety has no diffusive tendency or power ; if it 
 has any divine fire left, it has not a coal or even a spark 
 to spare to light a blaze elsewhere ! 
 
 The only hope of missions lay in a Revival of Reli 
 gion, widespread, deep-reaching ; and God gave that to 
 his Church through a wonderful constellation of Evan 
 gelists. Whitefield, the Wesleys, Grimshaw, Romaine, 
 Rowlands, Berridge, Venn, Walker, Hervey, Toplady, 
 Fletcher these Bishop Ryle names as twelve of the 
 apostles of that new Reformation, which, between 1735 
 and 1785 woke not only England but the Protestant 
 world from the awful apostasy of irreligion and infidelity. 
 At first even the Church resisted all efforts to revive her 
 dying life. Whitefield found Scotch ministers opposing 
 him by set days of fasting and prayer; and church doors 
 shut against himself and Wesley, compelled that open 
 air preaching which was the great stride of the century 
 toward the reaching of the masses. 
 
 But the Spirit of God was breathing on the dry 
 
Ixx COD S HAND LV MISSIONS. 
 
 bones. The fires, slowly kindled at first, burned bright 
 er and hotter, caught here and there, spread far and 
 wide, till even America, across the sea, was aflame. 
 Within fifty years from Whitefield s first sermon at 
 Gloucester, all Protestant Christendom thrilled with a 
 revived evangelical faith, and as evangelistic zeal is sure 
 always to follow, out of these Pentecostal outpourings 
 came the flaming tongues of witness. The Church, 
 from her silver trumpets pealed forth her summons to 
 prayer, for the effusion of the Spirit upon all disciples, 
 and upon the whole habitable earth. Praying bands 
 answered the trumpet peal in all parts of Britain, and 
 from American shores came the echo in 1747 of Jona 
 than Edwards bugle " call to concerted prayer." The 
 tidal wave of revival rose higher and moved with great 
 er momentum, under the Haldanes, Andrew Fuller, 
 Sutcliffe, Rowland Hill and others. 
 
 In 1792 the Warwick Association formally made the 
 first Monday of each month a "monthly concert of 
 prayer" for the world s evangelization. No sooner did 
 the revived Church, after this awful period of drought, 
 begin to pray for a great rain, than a cloud like a man s 
 hand appeared on the horizon ; and in that same year, 
 1792, the first Foreign Missionary Society was formed 
 in England, and the next year sent to India its first 
 missionary, William Carey, who within the thirty years 
 following secured the translation of the Scriptures into 
 forty tongues, and the circulation of two hundred 
 thousand copies. Thus the revival of evangelical faith, 
 and of concerted prayer, are the two pillars on which 
 rests the arch of Modern Missions. 
 
 How fast that little cloud has grown, till the heaven 
 is overspread, and there is a sound of the abundance of 
 
COD S HAND AV MISSIONS. Ixxi 
 
 rain ! During these eighty years, the number of trans 
 lations of the Word has increased fivefold, from fifty to 
 two hundred and fifty ; of Protestant mission societies, 
 tenfold, from seven to seventy ; of male missionaries, 
 fifteenfold, from one hundred and seventy to twenty- 
 four hundred ; of moneys contributed twenty-fivefold, 
 from two hundred and fifty thousand to six and a quar 
 ter million dollars : of converts, thirty-fivefold, from fifty 
 thousand to one million six hundred and fifty thousand ; 
 and of mission schools, one hundred and seventy fold, 
 from seventy to twelve thousand ! 
 
 The whole tide of thought has turned in the Church, 
 since William Carey first offered to go and meet the 
 giant of heathenism. The wave, at its lowest ebb a 
 century ago, now touches a flood mark never before 
 reached, and is still rising. Sydney Smith would no 
 longer dare to sneer at the " pious shoemaker " of 
 Paulersburg, or characterize his schemes as " the dreams 
 of a dreamer who dreams that he has been dreaming." 
 England is prouder of Carey than Athens was of 
 Pericles, or Rome of Cicero, and lifts the statue of 
 Livingstone to its lofty pedestal in the metropolis of 
 the world, to inspire Christian colonies to push into the 
 heart of the dark continent. American churches hurl 
 their columns against the ranks of pagan and papal su 
 perstition, and erect missionary lectureships in the 
 foremost institutions of learning to train youth to imi 
 tate the devotion of David Brainerd, Henry Martyn, 
 and Alexander Duff. 
 
 In fact, the whole history of Modern Missions is a 
 Burning Bush, whose every twig is aflame with the 
 Divine presence : we are standing on holy ground ; many 
 and marked are the divine interpositions ; we see the 
 
l xx ii GOD S HAND IN MISSIOXS. 
 
 iron gates open of their own accord, obstacles suddenly 
 sinking, continents unveiling their secrets, and mission 
 ary exploration going forward so rapidly that the maps 
 of yesterday are out of date to-day ! 
 
 II. The Divine Hand is also seen in the direct trans 
 formation of character, both individual and national. 
 The fiercest, hardest, rudest of heathen have been sub 
 dued, softened, refined by the Gospel. Africaner, that 
 monster of cruelty, who would kill an innocent man to 
 make a drinking cup of his skull and a drumhead of his 
 skin, was, at the touch of that Gospel, turned from a lion 
 into a lamb. Guergis, the ferocious Koord, who would 
 have killed his own daughter as she prayed for him, was 
 struck by it into penitence, as bitter as Peter s and as 
 potent. He laid aside gun and dagger for Testament 
 and hymn book, and made the mountains echo with the 
 story of his great sins and great Saviour, shouting with 
 dying breath, " Free grace ! " Even Fidelia Fiske could 
 scarcely believe she saw the miracle of such a conver 
 sion. Sau Quala, the Karen, was by that same Gospel 
 changed into an apostolic worker. He aided the mis 
 sionaries in the translation of the Word, guided them 
 for fifteen years through the jungles ; then himself be 
 gan to preach and plant churches within three years 
 gathering nearly twenty-five hundred converts into more 
 than thirty congregations : and refusing a tempting gov 
 ernment position, rather than mix up God s work with 
 secular labor, though his poverty forced him to leave 
 his lovely wife in loneliness. 
 
 So has the Gospel transformed whole communities. 
 In 1878, the Ko Thah Byu Memorial Hall was conse 
 crated, commemorating the fiftieth anniversary of the 
 first Karen convert, whose name it bears. Karens built 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixxiii 
 
 it at a cost of fifteen thousand dollars. It represented 
 twenty thousand living disciples converted from demon 
 worship, maintaining their own churches and schools, 
 beside twenty thousand more who had died in the faith 
 of Jesus. That hall confronts Shway Mote Tan Pa 
 goda, with its shrines and fanes on an opposing hill, 
 the double monument of what the Karens were and are. 
 
 The story of the Gospel in the South Seas should 
 be written in starlight. JohnJjVjlliams, the blacksmith s 
 boy, and the apostle of Polynesia, found idolatry of the 
 most degraded type, and savages of the lowest grade. 
 Yet his progress was one rapid career of conquest. 
 Churches and schools grew, he knew not how. A law 
 less people adopt a code of laws and trial by jury. 
 Printing presses scatter their leaves like the tree of life ; 
 and even a missionary society is formed with King Po- 
 mare as its president, and twenty-five hundred dollars as 
 its first year s contribution. Within a year after he 
 landed at Raratonga, the whole Hervey group, with a 
 population of seven thousand, have thrown away their 
 idols, and a church-building is going up, six hundred 
 feet long. He turns to the Samoa group, and shortly has 
 the whole people, sixty thousand, in Christian schools. 
 
 The tale of Fiji is not less wonderful. These canni- . 
 bals built the very huts of their chiefs upon the bodies 
 of living human beings, buried alive, and they launched 
 their canoes upon living bodies as rollers ; they slew in 
 fants, and strangled widows. Human language has no 
 terms to describe the abasement of this people, or their 
 atrocious customs. Such deeds of darkness should be 
 written in blood and recorded in hell. The Fijians are 
 now a Christian people. In 1835 missionary labor be 
 gan among them ; seven years later the island of Ono 
 
txxiv COD S II AND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 had not one heathen left on it, and became the centre of 
 Gospel light to the whole group. To-day every village 
 has its Christian homes and schools, and there are nine 
 hundred churches on those islands. 
 
 So was it with the new Hebrides. It was written 
 as Dr. Geddie s Epitaph, that " when he came to Anei- 
 tyum, there were no Christians; when he left, there 
 were no heathens." These are but a few representative 
 cases. Madagascar was so hopeless a field that the 
 French governor of the island of Bourbon told the 
 pioneer missionaries that they might as well try to con 
 vert cattle as the Malagasy. Yet the Gospel barely got 
 a foothold there when it took such root that twenty-five 
 years of fire and blood failed to burn out or blot out its 
 impression. And now a Christian church stands on the 
 court grounds, and on the coronation table together lie 
 the Laws of the Realm and the Bible, as the Higher 
 Law of Madagascar, " that crown of the London Mis 
 sionary society." 
 
 The American Board, however, in 1879, declared 
 at Syracuse, that the previous seven years in Japan 
 furnish the most remarkable chapter in the history of 
 the world, eclipsing not only Madagascar, but the early 
 triumphs of Christianity. The " Lonestar " mission 
 among the Teloogoos, almost abandoned as both hopeless 
 and fruitless in 1853, in 1878 blazed forth with a bril 
 liancy like that of Sinus ; within forty days nearly ten 
 thousand converts were baptized. The experiences of 
 Powell at Nanumaga, Duncan at Columbia, Judson in 
 Burmah, Wheeler in Turkey, Johnson in Sierra Leone, 
 Grant in Persia, Scudder in India, Wolfe in China, 
 Me All in France, and David Brainerd in New Jersey, 
 besides many more which we have not space to mention, 
 
GOD S HAND AV M/SS/O<YS. Ixxv 
 
 furnish unanswerable proof that the hand of God is in 
 this work of missions. 
 
 While looking at the marvels of this missionary 
 history, we must not forget how the subsidence of oppos 
 ing systems has prepared the way for gospel triumphs. 
 When the first seventeen missionaries landed at Hawaii, 
 God had gone before them, the old king was dead, the 
 idols burned, the old pagan faith cast away as worthless, 
 and the first death blow struck at the tabu system. The 
 isles were waiting for his law. When Mc All crossecftEe 
 English Channel, the fields of France were already white 
 for the sickle. Bouchard, Reveillaud, and others, had 
 already forsaken Romanism, as the ally of ignorance 
 and superstition ; and a whole people were ready for a 
 grand insurrection of thought and resurrection of 
 conscience. Tired of feeding on the ashes of Atheism 
 and priestcraft, they hunger for the bread of life. God 
 has let down the continent below the sea-level. It is not 
 so much a rising tide as a sinking land. But is his 
 hand any the less conspicuous when he thus floods the 
 continents with the Gospel! 
 
 III. At least a rapid glance should be given to the 
 indirect influences of the Gospel. As Sir Bartle Frere 
 says, wherever the Gospel has gone, it has promoted 
 the "Dignity of labor, the Sanctity of marriage, and the 
 Brotherhood of man." Where it does not convert, it 
 checks and controls ; where it does not renew, it refines ; 
 where it does not sanctify, it softens and subdues. Result 
 ant motion is the diagonal of direction followed by a 
 body on which two forces act, at right angles. So 
 missions, acting in an opposite direction from paganism, 
 modify and change even the society they do not wholly 
 transform. Statistics, therefore, rather understate than 
 
Ixxvi GO&S HAND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 overstate results, which cannot be estimated numerically. 
 Each church and missionary station represents a com- 
 munity, closely identified with Christianity, a center of 
 light, radiating holy influence on every side. Two million 
 converts represent two hundred million, drawn into more 
 or less sympathy with the Christian faith and life, con 
 fronted with the standing proofs of the superiority of 
 Christian teaching, individual character, and family life. 
 All this is like the honeycombing of rocks at Hellgate, 
 preparatory to a sudden and widespread destruction of 
 those obstacles to navigation : pagan society, with its false 
 faiths and iniquitous customs, is being undermined and, 
 as Sheshadrai says, <4 God works according to a higher 
 arithmetic of his own ;" it will be no surprising thing, 
 if, in his good time, all India shall suddenly be evan 
 gelized, and it will then be seen there, as elsewhere, that 
 in the absence of positive and visible results, the prepara 
 tion has been going on for a final and glorious consum 
 mation. 
 
 IV. One more grand fact remains to be considered 
 briefly, viz: the reflex influence of missions upon all who 
 earnestly engage in them. 
 
 It is inconceivable that any work which is not su 
 premely owned of God should develop such character in 
 the worker. The seal and sanction of God is upon missions, 
 for the very vanguard of the Church is found in the 
 heroic, self-sacrificing souls who represent us in front of 
 the citadels of heathenism. These men and women are 
 the foremost disciples of Christ ; some of them seem 
 both to lift mortals up and to bring angels down ; they 
 realize to us the day of heaven upon earth, in the sanc 
 tity of their lives and the ideality of their unselfish 
 services. 
 
GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixxvii 
 
 We see the Moravians going into the lazar house, 
 and entering the leper villages of Africa, cheerfully iso 
 lating themselves from the " clean," and identifying 
 themselves with the " unclean," for life, that they may 
 point the accursed victims of loathsome disease to him 
 who can cleanse the leprosy of the soul. We hear Dober 
 and his co-laborers at St. Thomas, when told that they * 
 could not preach to those ignorant slaves, resolutely re 
 ply, " then we will sell ourselves as slaves, and preach 
 while we work by their side ! " We follow John Eliot, 
 " the apostle of the Indians," spending twelve years in 
 learning their difficult language, reducing it to a written 
 form, publishing a grammar, and writing on its title page 
 that holy maxim which has since passed into the un 
 inspired scriptures of the church, " Prayer and pains, 
 through faith in Christ, will do anything;" we look at 
 him patiently translating the Bible into the Indian 
 tongue, gathering those rude children of the forest into 
 Christian settlements, and closing his fifty years of 
 toil for their salvation by expending his dying breath in 
 teaching a little Indian child to read. We trace the pa 
 thetically beautiful career of Adoniram Judson in Bur- 
 mah,his lofty devotion to principle, and his entire conse 
 cration to Christ and to souls, and we do not wonder 
 that even Theodore Parker should declare that " if mod- I 
 ern missionary enterprise had done no more than pro-j 
 duce one Adoniram Judson it were worth all it cost." 
 
 We need not look beyond the subject of this memoir 
 for a shining illustration of the transfiguring power of 
 the spirit of missions. It may be doubted whether in! 
 all Christian history the spirit of a seraph has even! 
 burned in a human body more certainly than in David 
 Brainerd. Dying in his thirtieth year, a long life of 
 
Ixxviii GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 holy toil was condensed into the four years of his 
 apostolic life. We see him, in the solitude of the forest, 
 praying for the red man ; in his lonely log hut, barring 
 his door to keep out wolf and bear, seated near his 
 lighted torch, after a wearisome day, that he may read 
 the Word of God, or record the Lord s dealings with 
 him ; suffering pangs of hunger, exposing his delicate 
 frame to night chills and stormy winds, sleeping on the 
 ground, or climbing a tree for safety from wild beasts ; 
 and through all this experience only exclaiming, " Oh 
 that I were a flame of fire in the Lord s service ! Oh 
 that I were spirit that I might be more active for God ! " 
 We look at such lives as these, and we are compelled to 
 feel that a work that demands such consecration, and 
 develops such Christlike devotion and heroism, must 
 be especially the work of God. 
 
 The more disciples, at home and abroad, become 
 pervaded with this spirit of missions, the more is all the 
 glory of the apostolic Church again revived. This holy 
 labor for souls develops apostolic unity : for as Macaulay 
 well observes " Where men worship a cow, the differ 
 ences between evangelical Christians dwindle into in 
 significance." Sectarian lines disappear as, in presence 
 of a united and gigantic army of foes, the ranks of dis 
 ciples draw closely together for one onset in solid 
 column to pierce the very center of the enemy and turn 
 their staggering wings. 
 
 Even the churches at home feel the reaction of mis 
 sionary effort. The Revivals of the last century gave 
 birth to missionary societies, and the missionary labors 
 of this century have stimulated revivals. It might be 
 thought that Foreign missions would draw away funds 
 and energies from home work; on the contrary, organ- 
 
GO&S HAND IN MISSIONS. \ xx [ x 
 
 ized efforts for the home fields have actually followed 
 the others, and been quickened by them. There were 
 no Sunday-schools till just before the spirit of missions 
 was kindled, and they have multiplied with incredible 
 rapidity since. When relapse into barbarism threatened 
 the converted Hawaiians, they had to resort to missions 
 to the still pagan groups near by to keep from practical 
 apostasy ; and this was the actual origin of the mission 
 to the Marquesas isles ! 
 
 And so, side by side with the culture of the spirit of 
 world-wide missions and their zealous prosecution, we 
 find the culture of charity, unity, and apostolic piety at 
 home, and the prosecution of all work in the regions im 
 mediately about us. The old Arab proverb is illus 
 trated, " the water poured on the roots of the cocoanut 
 tree comes back to us in the sweetened milk of the 
 cocoanut that falls from the top." The streams poured 
 into the arid desert field of missions return on the 
 churches in heavenly showers. 
 
 But we have no adequate space for the further ex 
 pansion of this thrilling theme. The fullness of the 
 times has surely come for the last great crusade against 
 the powers of darkness. Everything is providentially 
 ripe and ready. Nearly fourscore missionary societies 
 enclose the globe in their golden network. The walls 
 of nations lie flat, and challenge us to move from every 
 quarter, and move together and at once, and take the 
 very capitals and centers of Satan s dominion. The 
 word of God mav be had in every leading tongue, and 
 the miracle of Babel is reversed, and the miracle of Pen 
 tecost crystallizes into permanence! The coffers of 
 disciples contain wealth so vast that a tithe of it would, 
 furnish all the funds for a world s evangelization ; and 
 
Ixxx GOD S HAND IN MISSIONS. 
 
 ithe numbers of disciples are so vast that a tithe of them 
 \would give one missionary to every one hundred of the 
 population of the globe ! Time and space are practi 
 cally annihilated and all nations are neighbors. And in 
 addition to all, from out the shining pillar of a luminous 
 and leading Providence rings out the trumpet voice of 
 God, bidding us " go forward ! " 
 
 What opportunity and what inspiration ! We need 
 only organization and consecration to carry dismay and 
 defeat to the allied powers of hell. Wm. Carey s grand 
 motto of 1792 should be emblazoned on the banners of 
 a Church that gathers all her hosts for one overwhelm 
 ing charge : " Expect great things from God ! At 
 tempt great things for God ! " All around the horizon 
 the signs are appearing, which indicate to him who 
 watches, that a more momentous era is at hand than 
 historic pen ever chronicled or artistic pencil ever illus 
 trated. 
 
 Dr. Anderson said, with sadness, "the grand defect 
 in the practical Christianity of our age is, that it does 
 not respond as it should to the call of God s Provi 
 dence." Let us roll away that stone of reproach, and it 
 shall be our privilege to behold, issuing forth from the 
 sepulchre of old but dead faiths, nations now hopelessly 
 entombed ; we shall see them, at the sound of the Word 
 of Life, come forth to cast off the cerements of idolatry 
 and superstition for the white robe of the saints ! 
 
MEMOIRS 
 
 OF 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 His Early Life First Religious Impressions His own written Account of his Conver 
 sion and Religious Experiences until he began his Studies for the Gospel Ministry. 
 President Edward s account of the Great Revival in New England, and of the Circum 
 stances connected with Brainerd s Dismissal from College. 
 
 [DAVID BRAINERD was born in Haddam, Connecticut, 
 April 20, 1718, and died at Northampton, Massachusetts, 
 October 9, 1747, in the thirtieth year of his age. His father 
 was Hezekiah Brainerd, one of His Majesty s Council for 
 that colony, and his maternal grandfather was the son of 
 Rev. Peter Hobart, the first minister of the Gospel at Hing- 
 ham, in England, and who, owing to the persecution of the 
 Puritans in the mother country, came over to New England 
 and was settled in the ministry at Hingham, Massachusetts. 
 David was the third son of his parents. Two of his brothers 
 likewise devoted their lives to the Gospel Ministry Nehemiah, 
 who settled at Eastbury, Connecticut, and who died before 
 David and John, who succeeded David among the Indians 
 of New Jersey, and afterward labored as a home missionary 
 among the whites, and was also for many years a trustee of 
 the College of New Jersey. 
 
 David was left an orphan at the early age of fourteen. He 
 seems to have been a very sober youth. He was thoughtful 
 beyond his years, of a melancholy temperament, and some- 
 
2 MEMOIRS OF PRAINERD. 
 
 what inclined to a morbid conscientiousness. His religious 
 exercises were quite marked when he was but seven or eight 
 years of age ; but his serious impressions wore off, and he 
 had no further special convictions of sin or concern for his 
 salvation, until he was about thirteen years of age, when they 
 returned upon him with increased power, and resulted, as he 
 evidently believed at the time, in his conversion to God. Un 
 der his severe self-scrutiny, however, he afterward questioned 
 the genuineness of these experiences and thought that he was 
 relying upon his own righteousness. But the careful reader 
 of his life will be disposed to believe that at this early period 
 he was really a subject of Divine Grace. When about twenty 
 he was visited with new light and power from on high with 
 an intensity of feeling, a depth of conviction, in relation to sin 
 and his undone condition, and a fulness of peace and rejoic 
 ing very unusual in one so young, and one who had always 
 led a strictly moral, and, in some respects, a religious life. 
 This new baptism stirred his soul to its profoundest depths, 
 and was the starting point in a most extraordinary career of 
 Christian attainment and personal consecration. 
 
 It is not surprising that Brainerd should date his conver 
 sion from this period of his life, so profound and so remark 
 able were his spiritual exercises and experiences. His own 
 account of himself, during and preceding this eventful period 
 the operations of his mind and heart while the Holy Spirit of 
 God was searching him, and trying him, and making thorough 
 work with him, that he might be eminently fitted for the mis 
 sion to which the Master had appointed him is so intensely 
 interesting and instructive, that we shall leave him to relate 
 it in his own simple yet graphic words. Fortunately such 
 a record exists. J. M. S.] 
 
 BRAINERD S OWN ACCOUNT OF HIS EARLY LIFE AND CONVER 
 SION. 
 
 " I was from my youth somewhat sober, and inclined to melancholy ; 
 but do not remember anything of conviction of sin, worthy of remark, till 
 I was seven or eight years of age. Then I became concerned for my 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3 
 
 soul, and terrified at the thoughts of death ; and was driven to the per 
 formance of religious duties; but it appeared a melancholy business, that 
 destroyed my eagerness for play. And though, alas ! this religious con 
 cern was but short-lived, 1 sometimes attended secret prayer ; and thus 
 lived at ease in Zion, without God in the world, and without much 
 concern, as I remember, till I was above thirteen years of age. In the 
 winter of 1732, I was roused out of this carnal security, by I scarce know 
 what means at first ; but was much excited by the prevalence of a mortal 
 sickness in Haddam. I was frequent, constant, and somewhat fervent in 
 prayer ; and took delight in reading, especially Mr. Janeway s Token for 
 Children. I felt sometimes much melted in the duties of religion, took 
 great delight in the performance of them, and sometimes hoped that I 
 was converted, or at least in a good and hopeful way for heaven and hap 
 piness ; not knowing what conversion was. The Spirit of God at this 
 time proceeded far with me. I was remarkably dead to the world ; my 
 thoughts were almost wholly employed about my soul s concerns ; and I 
 may indeed say, Almost I was persuaded to be a Christian. I was also 
 exceedingly distressed and melancholy at the death of my mother, in 
 March, 1732. But afterwards my religious concern began to decline, and 
 by degrees I fell back into a considerable degree of security, though I 
 still attended secret prayer. 
 
 " In April 1733, I removed from my father s house to East-Haddam, 
 where I spent four years ; but still without God in the world, though, 
 for the most part, I went a round of secret duty. I was not much ad- 
 dieted to the company and amusements of the young ; but this I know, - 
 that when I did go into such company, I never returned with so good a 
 conscience as when I went. It always added new guilt, made me afraid 
 to come to the throne of grace, and spoiled those good frames with which 
 I was wont sometimes to please myself. But, alas ! all my good frames 
 were but self-righteousness, not founded on a desire for the glory of God. 
 
 " In April, 1737, being nineteen years of age, I removed to Durham, to 
 work on my farm, and so continued about one year ; frequently longing, \ 
 from mere natural principles, after a liberal education. When about 
 twenty years of age I applied myself to study ; and was now engaged ] 
 more than ever in the duties of religion. I became very strict and watch- I 
 ful over my thoughts, words, and actions ; concluded that I must be sober | 
 indeed, because I designed to devote myself to the ministry and imagined $ 
 that I did dedicate myself to the Lord. 
 
 " In April, 1738, I went to Mr. Fiske s, the pastor of the church in 
 Haddam, and lived with him during his life. He advised me wholly to 
 abandon young company, and associate myself with grave elderly people : 
 which counsel I followed. My manner of life was now wholly regular, 
 and full of religion, such as it was ; for I read my Bible more than twice 
 

 4 MEMOIRS OF BRALVERD. 
 
 through in less than a year, spent much time every day in prayer and 
 Other secret duties, gave great attention to the word preached, and en 
 deavored to my utmost to retain it. So much concerned was I about re 
 ligion, that I agreed with some young persons to meet privately on Sab- 
 hath evenings for religious exercises, and I thought myself sincere in these 
 duties ; and after our meeting was ended I used to repeat the discourses 
 of the day to myself; recollecting what I could, though sometimes very 
 late at night. I used occasionally on Monday mornings to recollect the 
 Same sermons; experienced a considerable degree of enjoyment in prayer, 
 ad had many thoughts of joining the church. In short, I had a very 
 good outside, and rested entirely on my duties ; though I was not sensible 
 of it. 
 
 "After Mr. Fiske s death, I proceeded in my studies with my brother ; 
 was still very constant in religious duties, often wondered at the levity of 
 professors, and lamented their carelessness in religious matters. Thus I 
 proceeded a considerable length on a self-righteous foundation, and should 
 have been entirely lost and uixlone, had not the mere mercy of God pre 
 vented. 
 
 "In the winter of 1738, it pleased God, one Sabbath morning as 
 II was walking out for prayer, to give me on a sudden such a sense 
 | of my danger, and the wrath of God, that I stood amazed, and my former 
 good frames presently vanished. From the view which I had of my sin 
 and vileness, I was much distressed all that clay, fearing that the vengeance 
 of God would soon overtake me. I was much dejected ; kept much alone ; 
 and sometimes envied the birds and beasts their happiness, because they 
 iVere not exposed to eternal misery, as I evidently saw that I was. Thus 
 I lived from day to day, being frequently in great distress : sometimes 
 there appeared mountains before me to obstruct my hopes of mercy ; and 
 the work of conversion appeared so great, that I thought I should never 
 be the subject of it. I used, however, to pray and cry to God, and per- 
 foim other duties with great earnestness, and thus hoped by some means 
 to make the case better. Hundreds of times I renounced all pretences 
 
 /of any worth in my duties, as I thought, even while performing them, and 
 often confessed to God that I deserved nothing for the very best of them, 
 but eternal condemnation ; yet still I had a secret hope of recommending 
 myself to God by my religious duties. When I prayed affectionately, and 
 my heart seemed in some measure to melt, I hoped that God would be 
 thereby moved to pity me. My prayers then looked with some appear 
 ance of goodness in them, and I seemed to mourn for sin. Then I could 
 an some measure venture on the mercy of God in Christ, as I thought ; 
 flmough the preponderating thought, the foundation of my hope, was some 
 nmagination of goodness in my meltings of heart, the warmth of my affec- 
 Jtions, and my extraordinary enlargements in prayer. Though at times 
 
OF BRAIi\RD. >$ 
 
 the gate appeared so very strait, that it looked next to impossible to enter; 
 yet, at other times, I flattered myself that it was not so very difficult, and 
 hoped I should by diligence and watchfulness soon gain the point. 
 Sometimes after enlargement in duty and considerable affection, I hoped 
 I had made a good step towards heaven ; and imagined that God was 
 affected as I was, and would hear such sincere cries, as I called them. 
 And so sometimes, when I withdrew for secret prayer in great distress, I 
 returned comfortable; and thus healed myself with mv duties. 
 
 " In February i 1/39, 1 set apart a day for secret fasting and prayer, and 
 spent the day in almost incessant cries to God for mercy, that he would 
 open my eyes to see the evil of sin, and the way of life by Jesus Christ. 
 God was pleased that day to make considerable discoveries of my heart 
 to me. Still I trusted in all the duties I performed, though there was no 
 manner of goodness in them ; there being in them no respect to the glory 
 of God, nor any such principle in my heart. Yet God was pleased to make 
 my endeavors, that day, a means to show me my helplessness in some 
 measure. 
 
 " Sometimes I was greatly encouraged, and imagined that God loved 
 me, and was pleased with me, and thought I should soon be fully re 
 conciled to God. But the whole was founded on mere presumption, aris 
 ing from enlargement in duty, or warmth of affections, or some good 
 resolutions, or the like. And when, at times, great distress began to 
 arise, on a sight of myvileness, and inability to deliver myself from a 
 sovereign God, I used to put off the discovery, as what I could not bear. 
 Once, I remember, a terrible pang of distress seized me ; and the thought 
 of renouncing myself, and standing naked before God, stripped of all 
 goodness, was so dreadful to me, that I was ready to say to it, as Felix to 
 Paul, Go thy way for this time. Thus, though I daily longed for 
 greater conviction of sin; supposing that I must see more of my dreadful 
 state in order to a remedy; yet, when the discoveries of my vile, wicked 
 heart were made to me, the sight was so dreadful, and showed me so 
 plainly my exposedness to damnation, that I could not endure it. I con 
 stantly strove after whatever qualifications I imagine others obtained before 
 the reception of Christ, in order to recommend me to his favor. Some 
 times I felt the power of a hard heart, and supposed it must be softened 
 before Christ would accept of me; and when I felt any meltings of heart, 
 I hoped now the work was almost done. Hence, when my distress still 
 remained, I was wont to murmur at God s dealings with me ; and thought, 
 when others felt their hearts softened, God showed them mercy; but my 
 distress remained still. 
 
 * At times I grew remiss and sluggish, without any great convictions of 
 sin, for a considerable time together; but after such a season, convictions 
 seized me more violently. One night I remember in particular, when I 
 
6 &EJ/01&S OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 was walking solitarily abroad, I had opened to me such a view of my sin, 
 that I feared the ground would cleave asunder under m/feet, and become 
 my grave ; and would send my soul quick into hell, before I could get 
 home. Though I was forced to go to bed, lest my distress should be dis 
 covered by others, which I much feared; yet I scarcely durst sleep at all, 
 for I thought it would be a great wonder if I should be out of hell in the 
 morning. And though my distress was sometimes thus great, yet I 
 greatly dreaded the loss of convictions, and returning back to a state of 
 carnal security, and to my former insensibility of impending wrath; which 
 made me exceedingly exact in my behavior, lest I should stifle the motions 
 of God s Holy Spirit. When at any time I took a view of my convic 
 tions, and thought the degree of them to be considerable, I was wont to 
 trust in them ; but this confidence, and the hopes of soon making some 
 notable advances towards deliverance, would ease my mind, and I soon 
 become more senseless and remiss. Again, when I discerned my con 
 victions to grow languid, and thought them about to leave me, this im 
 mediately alarmed and distressed me. Sometimes I expected to take a 
 large step, and get very far towards conversion, by some particular 
 opportunity or means I had in view. 
 
 "The many disappointments, great distresses and perplexity which I 
 experienced, put me into a most horrible frame of contesting with the 
 Almighty; with an inward vehemence and virulence, finding fault with his 
 ways of dealing with mankind. I found great fault with the imputation 
 of Adam s sin to his posterity ; and my wicked heart often wished for 
 some other way of salvation than by Jesus Christ. Being like the troubled 
 sea, my thoughts confused, I used to contrive to escape t l e wrath of God 
 by some other means. I had strange projects, full of atheism, contriving 
 to disappoint God s designs and decrees concerning me, or to escape his 
 notice, and hide myself from him. But when, upon reflection, I saw these 
 projects were vain, and would not serve me, and that I could contrive 
 nothing for my own relief; this would throw my mind into the most horrid 
 frame, to wish there was no God, or to wish there were some other God 
 that could control him. These thoughts and desires were the secret in 
 clinations of my heart, frequently acting before I was aware ; but, alas ! 
 they were mine, although I was frightened when I came to reflect on them. 
 When I considered, it distressed me to think, that my heart was so full 
 of enmity against God; and it made me tremble, lest his vengeance should 
 suddenly fall upon me. I used before to imagine, (hat my heart was not 
 so bad as the scriptures and some other books represented it. Some 
 times I used to take much pains to work it up into a good frame, a humble 
 submissive disposition ; and hoped there was then some goodness in me. 
 But, on a sudden, the thoughts of the strictness of the law, or the 
 sovereignly of God, would so irritate the corruption of my heart, that I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 7 
 
 had so watched over, and hoped I had brought to a good frame, that it 
 would break over all bounds, and burst forth on all sides, like floods of 
 waters when they break down their dams. 
 
 " Being sensible of the necessity of deep humiliation in order to a 
 saving interest in Christ, I used to set myself to produce in my own heart 
 the convictions requisite in such a humiliation ; as, a conviction that God 
 would be just, if he cast me off for ever ; that if ever God should bestow 
 mercy on me, it would be mere grace though Ishould be in distress many 
 years first, and be never so much engaged in duty ; and that God was not 
 in the least obliged to pity me the more for all past duties, cries and 
 tears. I strove to my utmost to bring myself to a firm belief of these 
 things and a hearty assent to them ; and hoped that now I was brought 
 off from myself, truly humbled, and that I bowed to the divine sovereignty. 
 I was wont to tell God in my prayers, that now I had those very dis 
 positions of soul which he required, and on which he showed mercy to 
 others, and thereupon to beg and plead for mercy to me. But when I 
 found no relief, and was still oppressed with guilt, and fears of wrath, my 
 soul was in tumult, and my heart rose against God, as dealing hardly with 
 me. Vet then my conscience flew in my face, putting me in mind of my 
 late confession to God of his justice in my condemnation. This, giving 
 me a sight of the badness of my heart, threw me again into distress ; and 
 I wished that I had watched my heart more narrowly, to keep it from 
 breaking out against God s dealings with me. I even wished that I had 
 not pleaded for mercy on account of my humiliation ; because thereby I 
 had lost all my seeming goodness. Thus, scores of times, I vainly 
 imagined myself humbled and prepared for saving mercy. While I was 
 in this distressed, bewildered, and tumultuous state of mind, the corrup 
 tion of my heart was especially irritated with the following things: 
 
 i. "The strictness of the divine Law. For I found it was impossible 
 for me, after my utmost pains, to answer its demands. I often made new 
 resolutions, and as often broke them. I imputed the whole to careless 
 ness, and the want of being more watchful, and used to call myself a fool 
 for my negligence. But when, upon a stronger resolution, and greater 
 endeavors, and close application to fasting and prayer, I found all at 
 tempts fail ; then I quarrelled with the law of God, as unreasonably 
 rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my outward actions and behaviors, 
 that I could bear with it ; but I found that it condemned me for my evil 
 thoughts, and sins of my heart, which I could not possibly prevent. I 
 was extremely loth to own my utter helplessness in this matter; but after 
 repeated disappointments, thought that, rather than perish, I could do 
 a little more still ; especially if such and such circumstances might but 
 attend my endeavors and strivings. I hoped, that I should strive more 
 earnestly than ever, if the matter came to extremity, though I never could 
 
S MEMOIRS OF BKAJNERD. 
 
 find the time to do my utmost, in the manner I intended. Tin s hope of 
 future more favorable circumstances, and of doing something great here 
 after, kept me from utter despair in myself, and from seeing myself fallen 
 into the hands of a sovereign God, and dependent on nothing but free 
 and boundless grace. 
 
 2. " That faith alone was the condition of salvation ; that God would not 
 come down to lower terms ; and that he would not promise life and sal 
 vation upon my sincere and hearty prayers and endeavors. That word, 
 (Mark xvi. i6 ; ) He that believeth not, shall be damned, cut off all hope 
 there. I found that faith was the sovereign gift of God : that I could not 
 get it as of myself ; and could not oblige God to bestow it upon me, by 
 any of my performances. (Eph. ii. i. 8.) This, I was ready to say, is a 
 hard saying, who can hear it ? I could not bear that all I had done 
 should stand for mere nothing ; as I had been very conscientious in 
 duty, had been exceeding religious a great while, and had, as I thought, 
 done much more than many others who had obtained mercy. I confessed 
 indeed the vileness of my duties; but then, what made them at that time 
 seem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them ; not because I was all 
 over defiled like a devil, and the principle corrupt from whence they flowed 
 so that I could not possibly do anything that was good. Hence I called 
 what I did by the name of honest faithful endeavors ; and could not bear 
 it, that God had made no promises of salvation to them. 
 
 3. " That I could not find out what faith was ; or what it was to be 
 lieve and come to Christ. I read the calls of Christ to the weary and 
 heavy laden ; but could find no way that he directed them to come in. I 
 thought I would gladly come, if I knew how ; though the path of 
 duty were never so difficult. I read Stoddard s Guide to Christ, (which 
 I trust was, in the hand of God, the happy means of my conversion,) and 
 my heart rose against the author ; for though he told me my very heart 
 all along under convictions, and seemed to be very beneficial to me in his 
 directions ; yet here he failed ; he did not tell me anything I could do 
 that would bring me to Christ, but left me as it were with a great gulf 
 between, without any direction to get through. For I was not yet effec 
 tually and experimentally taught, that there could be no way prescribed, 
 whereby a natural man could, of his own strength, obtain that which is 
 supernatural, and which the highest angel cannot give. 
 
 4. " The sovereignly of God. I could not bear, that it should be 
 wholly at God s pleasure, to save or damn me, just as he would. That 
 passage, (Rom. ix. n 23.) was a constant vexation to me, especially 
 verse 21. Reading or meditating on this, always destroyed my seeming 
 good frames : for when I thought I was almost humbled, and almost 
 resigned, this passage would make my enmity against the sovereignly of 
 God appear. When I came to reflect on the inward enmity and bias- 
 
IMMO/XS OF BRA INERD* g 
 
 phemy, which arose on this occasion, I was the more afraid of God, and 
 driven further from any hopes of reconciliation with him. It gave me a 
 dreadful view of myself ; I dreaded more than ever to see myself in God s 
 hands, at his sovereign disposal ; and it made me more opposite than 
 ever to submit to his sovereignly ; for I thought God designed my dam 
 nation. 
 
 " All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work with me; 
 and I was inwardly pressed to relinquish all self-confidence, all hopes of 
 ever helping myself by any means whatsoever. The conviction of my 
 lost estate was sometimes so clear and manifest before my eyes, that it 
 was as if it had been declared to me in so many words, It is done, it is 
 done, it is for ever impossible to deliver yourself. For about three or 
 four days my soul was thus greatly distressed. At some turns, for a few 
 moments, I seemed to myself lost and undone ; but then would shrink 
 back immediately from the sight, because I dared not venture myself into 
 the hinds of God, as wholly helpless, and at the disposal of his sovereign 
 pleasure. I dared not see that important truth concerning myself, that I 
 was dead in trespasses and sins. But when I had, as it were, thrust away 
 these views of myself at any time, I felt distressed to have the same dis 
 coveries of myself again ; for I greatly feared being given over of God to 
 final stupidity. When I thought of putting it off to a more convenient 
 season, the conviction was so close and powerful, with regard to the pres 
 ent time, that it was the best, and probably the only time, that I dared 
 not put it off. 
 
 " It was the sight of truth concerning myself, truth respecting my 
 state, as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and that consequently 
 could make no demands on God for mercy, but must subscribe to the 
 absolute sovereignity of the divine Being ; the sight of the truth, I say, 
 my soul shrank away from, and trembled to think of beholding. Thus, 
 he that doth evil, as all unregenerate men continually do, hates the light of 
 truth, neither cares to come to it, because it will reprove his deeds, and show 
 him his just deserts, (John iii. 26.) Some time before, I had taken much 
 pains, as I thought, to submit to the sovereignity of God ; yet I mistook 
 the thing, and did not once imagine, that seeing and being made ex 
 perimentally sensible of this truth, which my soul now so much dreaded 
 and trembled at, was the frame of soul which I had so earnestly desired. 
 I had ever hopetl, that when I had attained to that humiliation, which I 
 supposed necessary to precede faith, then it would not be fair for God to 
 cast me off ; but now I saw it was so far from any goodness in me, to own 
 myself spiritually dead, and destitute of all goodness, that, on the con 
 trary, my mouth would be for ever stopped by it ; and it looked as dread 
 ful to me, to see myself, and the relation I stood in to God I a sinner 
 and criminal, and he a great Judge and Sovereign as it would be to a 
 
10 MEMOIRS OF BKAINEKD. 
 
 poor trembling creature, to venture off some high precipice. Hence I 
 pur it off fora minute or two, and tried for better circumstances to do 
 it in ; either I must read a passage or two, or pray first, or some 
 thing of the like nature or else put off my submission to God s sover 
 eignty with an objection, that I aid not know how to submit. But the 
 truth was I could see no safety in owing myself in the hands of a sove 
 reign God, and could lay no claim to anything better than damnation.* 
 
 After a considerable time spent in similar exercises and distresses, 
 one morning, while I was walking in a solitary place, as usual, I at once 
 saw that all my contrivances and projects to effect or procure deliverance 
 and salvation for myself, were utterly in vain ; I was brought quite to a 
 stand, as finding myself totally lost. I had thought many times before, 
 that the difficulties in my way were very great; but now I saw, in an 
 other and very different light, that it was for ever impossible for me to 
 do anything towards helping or delivering myself. I then thought of 
 blaming myself, that I had not done more, and been more engaged, while 
 I had opportunity for it seemed now as if the season of doing was for 
 ever over and gone but I instantly saw, that let me have done what I 
 would, it would no more have tended to my helping myself, than what I 
 had done ; that I had made all the pleas I ever could have made to all 
 eternity ; and that all my pleas were vain. The tumult that had been 
 before in my mind, was now quieted ; and I was somewhat eased of that 
 
 * About this period BRAINEKU wrote the following fragment, found among his MSS, 
 entitled : 
 
 " SOME GLOOMY AND DESPONDING THOUGHTS OF A SOUL UNDER CONVICTIONS OF SIN AND 
 CONCERN FOR ITS ETERNAL SALVATION. 
 
 1. " I believe my case is singular, that none ever had so many strange and different 
 thoughts and feelings as I. 
 
 2. " I have been concerned much longer than many others I have known, or concern 
 ing whom I had read, who have been savingly converted, and yet I am left. 
 
 3. " I have withstood the power of convictions a long time ; and therefore I fear I 
 shall be finally left of God. 
 
 4. "I never shall be converted without stronger convictions and greater terrors of 
 conscience. 
 
 5. " 1 do not aim at the glory of God in anything I do, and therefore I cannot hope 
 for mercy. 
 
 6. " I do not see the evil nature of sin, nor the sin of my nature ; and therefore I am 
 discouraged. 
 
 7. " The more I strive, the more blind and hard my heart is, and the worse I grow 
 continually. 
 
 8 " I feat that God never showed mercy to one so vile as I. 
 9. " I fear that I am not elected, and therefore must perish. 
 
 10. " I fear that the day of grace is past with me. 
 
 11. "I fear that I have committed the unpardonable sin. 
 
 12. "lam an old sinner: and if God had designed mercy for me, he would have 
 called me home to h imself before now." 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ! t 
 
 distress which I felt while struggling against a sight of myself, and of the 
 divine sovereignty. I had the greatest certainty, that my state was for 
 ever miserable, for all that I could do ; and wondered that I had never 
 been sensible of it before. 
 
 41 While I remained in this state, my notions respecting my duties were 
 quite different from what I had ever entertained in times past. Before 
 this, the more I did in duty, the more hard T thought it would be for God 
 to cast me off ; though at the same time I confessed, and thought I saw, 
 that there was no goodness or merit in my duties ; but now, the more I 
 did in prayer or any other duty, the more I saw that I was indebted to 
 God for allowing me to ask for mercy ; for I saw that self-interest had 
 led me to pray, and that I had never once prayed from any respect to 
 the glory of God. Now I saw that there was no necessary connexion 
 between my prayers and the bestowment of divine mercy ; that they laid 
 not the least obligation upon God to bestow his grace upon me ; and that 
 there was no more virtue or goodness in them, than there would be in 
 my paddling with my hand in the water, (which was the comparison I had 
 then in my mind; ) and this because they were not performed from any 
 love or regard to God. I saw that I had been heaping up my devotions 
 before God, fasting, praying, pretending, and indeed reaily thinking 
 sometimes, that I ?" aiming at the glory of God^ whereas I never once 
 truly intended it,(but only my own happiness.( I saw that as I had never 
 donT anything tor God, I had no claim on anything from hirnTtmFper-^ 
 dition, on account of my hypocrisy and mockery. Oh, now different did 
 my duties now appear from what they used to do ! I used to charge 
 them with sin and imperfection; but this was only on account of the 
 wanderings and vain thoughts attending them, and not because I had no 
 regard to God in them ; for this I thought I had. But when I saw 
 evidently that I had regard to nothing but self-interest; then they ap 
 peared a vile mockery of God, self-worship, and a continual course of 
 lies. I saw that something worse had attended my duties than barely a 
 few wanderings ; for the whole was nothing but self-worship, and a 
 horrid abuse of God. 
 
 " I continued, in this state of mind till the Sabbath evening following, 
 when I was walking again in the same solitary place, where I was 
 brought to see myself lost and helpless, as before mentioned. Here, in a 
 mournful melancholy state, I was attempting to pray; but found no 
 heart to engage in that or any other duty ; my former concern, exercise, 
 and religious affections were now gone. I thought that the Spirit of God 
 had quite left me ; but still was not distressed; yet disconsolate, as if 
 there was nothing in heaven or earth could make me happy. Having 
 been thus endeavoring to pray though, as I thought, very stupid and 
 senseless for near half an hour ; then, as I was walking in a dark thick 
 
I a 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and apprehension 
 of my soul. I do not mean any external brightness, for I saw no such 
 thing; nor do I intend any imagination of a body of light, somewhere in 
 the third heavens, or anything of that nature ; but it was a new inward 
 apprehension or view that I had of God, such as I never had before, nor 
 anything which had the least resemblance of it. I stood still ; wondered; 
 and admired ! I knew that I never had seen before anything comparable 
 to it for excellency and beauty ; it was widely different from all the con 
 ceptions that ever I had of God, or things divine. I had no particular 
 apprehension of any one person in the Trinity, either the Father, the 
 Son, or the Holy Ghost ; but it appeared to be Divine glory. My soul 
 rejoiced with joy unspeakable, to see such a God, such a glorious divine 
 Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied that he should be God 
 over all for ever and ever. My soul was so captivated and delighted with 
 the excellency, loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of God, that I 
 was even swallowed up in him ; at least to that degree, that I had no 
 thought (as I remember) at first, about my own salvation, and scarce re 
 flected that there was such a creature as myself. 
 
 " Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty disposition to exalt him, 
 and set him on the throne, and principally and ultimately to aim at his 
 honor and glory, as King of the universe. I continued in this state of 
 inward joy, peace, and astonishment, till near dark, without any sensible 
 abatement ; and then began to think and examine what I had seen; and 
 felt sweetly composed in my mind all the evening following. I felt my 
 self in a new world, and everything about me appeared with a different 
 aspect from what it was wont to do. At this time, the way of salvation 
 opened to me with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excellency, 
 that I wondered I should ever think of any other way of salvation ; was 
 amazed that I had not dropped my own contrivances, and complied with 
 this lovely, blessed, and excellent way before. If I could have been 
 saved by my own duties, or any other way that I had formerly contrived, 
 my whole soul would now have refused it. I wondered that all the world 
 did not see and comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the right 
 eousness of Christ. 
 
 " The sweet relish of what I then felt, continued with me for several 
 days, almost constantly, in a greater or less degree. I could not but 
 sweetly rejoice in God, lying down and rising up. The next Lord s day 
 I felt something of the same kind, though net so powerful as before. 
 But not llmg after I was again involved in thick darkness, and under 
 great distress; yet not of the same kind with my distress under convic 
 tions. I was guilty, afraid and ashamed to come before God; was ex 
 ceedingly pressed with a sense of guilt: but it was not long before I felt, 
 I trust, true repentance and joy in God. The latter end of August, I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 13 
 
 again fell under great darkness ; it seemed as if the presence of God was 
 clean gone forever ; though I was not so much distressed about my 
 spiritual state, as I was at my being shut out from God s presence, as I 
 then sensibly was. But it pleased the Lord to return graciously to me 
 not long after.* 
 
 " In September I entered Yale College ; but with some degree of re- 
 luctancy, fearing lest I should not be able to lead a life of strict religion, 
 in the midst of so many temptations. After this, in the vacancy, before I 
 went to tarry at college, it pleased God to visit my soul with clearer 
 manifestations of himself and his grace. I was spending some time in 
 prayer and self-examination, when the Lord, by his grace, so shined into 
 my heart, that I enjoyed full assurance of his favor, for that time; and 
 my soul was unspeakably refreshed with divine and heavenly enjoyments. 
 At this time especially, as well as some others, sundry passages of God s 
 word opened to my soul with divine clearness, power, and sweetness, so 
 as to appear exceeding precious, and with clear and certain evidence of 
 its being the word of God. I enjoyed considerable sweetness in religion 
 all the winter following. 
 
 " In Jan. 1740, the measles spread much in college ; and I, having 
 taken the distemper, went home to Hacldam. But some days before I 
 was taken sick, I seemed to be greatly deserted, and my soul mourned 
 the absence of the Comforter exceedingly. It seemed to me, that all 
 comfort was forever gone. I prayed and cried to God for help, yet found 
 no present comfort or relief. But through divine goodness, a night or 
 two before I was taken ill, while I was walking alone in a very retired 
 place, and engaged in meditation and prayer, I enjoyed a sweet refresh 
 ing visit, as I trust, from above ; so that my soul was raised far above 
 
 * It was probably at this time that the following fragment was written, entitled " Some 
 signs of Godliness. The distinguishing marks of a true Christian, taken from one of my 
 old manuscripts ; where I wrote as I felt and experienced, and not from any considerable 
 degree of doctrinal knowledge, or acquaintance with the sentiments of others in this 
 point." 
 
 1. " He has a true knowledge of the glory and excellency of God, that he is most worthy 
 to be loved and praised for his own divine perfections. Psal. cxlv. 3. 
 
 2. "God is his portion, Psal. Ixxiii. 25. And God s glory, his great concern, Matt. vi. 
 
 22. 
 
 3. " Holiness is his delight ; nothing he so much longs for as to be holy, as God is holy. 
 Phil. iii. 9 12. 
 
 4. " Sin is his greatest enemy. This he hates, for its own nature, for what it is in it 
 self, being contrary to a holy God, Jer. ii. t. And consequently he hates all sin, Rom. 
 vii. 24. i John iii. 9. 
 
 5. " The laws of God also are his delight, Psal. cxix. 97. Rom. vii. 22. These he ob- 
 sei vcs, not out of constraint, from a servile fear of hell ; but tht-y are his choice, Psal. cxix. 
 30. The strict observance of them is not his bondage, but his greatest liberty, ver, 45." 
 
1 4 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 the fears of death. Indeed, I rather longed for death than feared it. 
 Oh, how much more refreshing this one season was, than all the pleas 
 ures and delights that earth can afford ! After a day or two I was taken 
 with the measles, and was very ill indeed, so that I almost despaired of 
 life; but had no distressing fears of death at all. Through divine good 
 ness, I soon recovered : yet, owing to hard study, and to my being much 
 exposed on account of my freshmanship, as I had but little time for 
 spiritual duties, my soul often mourned for want of more time and op 
 portunity to be alone with God. In the spring and summer following, I 
 had better advantages for retirement, and enjoyed more comfort in re 
 ligion. My ambition in my studies greatly wronged the activity and 
 vigor of my spiritual life; yet, usually, "in the multitude of my thoughts 
 within me, God s comforts principally delighted my soul." These were 
 my greatest consolations day by day. 
 
 " One day, I think it was in June, 1740, I walked to a considerable 
 distance from college, in the fields alone, at noon and in prayer found 
 such unspeakable sweetness and delight in God, that I thought, if I must 
 continue still in this evil world, I wanted always to be there, to behold 
 God s glory. My soul dearly loved all mankind, and longed exceedingly 
 that they should enjoy what I enjoyed. It seemed to be a little resem 
 blance of heaven. On Lord s Day, June 6, being sacrament-day, I found 
 some divine life and spiritual refreshment in that holy ordinance. When 
 I came from the Lord s table, I wondered how my fellow-students could 
 live as I was sensible most did. Next Lord s day, July 13, I had some 
 special sweetness in religion. Again, Lord s day, July 20, my soul was 
 in a sweet and precious frame. 
 
 " Some time in August following, I became so weakly and disordered, 
 by too close application to my studies, that I was advised by my tutor to 
 go home, and disengage my mind from study as much as I could ; for I 
 was grown so weak, that I began to spit blood. I took his advice, and 
 endeavored to lay aside my studies. But being brought very low I looked 
 death in the face more steadfastly; and the Lord was pleased to give me 
 renewedly a sweet sense and relish of divine things ; and particularly Oc 
 tober 13, I found divine help and consolation in the precious duties of 
 secret prayer and self-examination, and my soul took delight in the blessed 
 God; so likewise on the ijth of October 
 
 " Oct. 18. In my morning devotions, my soul was exceedingly melted, 
 and bitterly mourned over my great sinfulness and vileness. I never be 
 fore had felt so pungent and deep a sense of the odious nature of sin, as 
 at this time. My soul was then unusually carried forth in love to God, and 
 had a lively sense of God s love to me. And this love and hope, at that 
 time, cast out fear. Both morning and evening I spent some time in self- 
 examjnation, to find the truth of grace, as also my fitness to approach 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 1 $ 
 
 God at his table the next day ; and through infinite grace, found the holy 
 Spirit influencing my soul with love to God, as a witness within myself. 
 
 " Lord s day, Oct. 19. In the morning I felt my soul hungering and 
 thirsting after righteousness. In the forenoon, while I was looking on 
 the sacramental elements, and thinking that Jesus Christ would soon be 
 set forth crucified before me, my soul was filled with light and love, 
 so that I was almost in an ecstacy ; my body was so weak, I could scarcely 
 stand. I felt at the same time an exceeding tenderness and most fervent 
 love towards all mankind, so that my soul and all the powers of it seemed, 
 as it were, to melt into softness and sweetness. But during the commun 
 ion, there was some abatement of this life and fervor. This love and joy 
 cast out fear ; and my soul longed for perfect grace and glory. This 
 frame continued till the evening, when my soul was sweetly spiritual in 
 secret duties. 
 
 " Oct. 20. I again found the assistance of the Holy Spirit in secret du 
 ties, both morning and evening, and life and comfort in religion through 
 the whole day. Oct. 21. I had likewise experience of the goodness of 
 God in shedding abroad his love in my heart, and giving me delight 
 and consolation in religious duties ; and ail the remaining part of the week 
 my soul seemed to be taken up with divine things, I now so longed after 
 God, and to be freed from sin, that when I felt myself recovering, and 
 thought I must return to college again, which had proved so hurtful to 
 my spiritual interest the year past, I could not but be grieved, and thought 
 I had much rather have died ; for it distressed me to think of getting 
 away from God. But before I went, I enjoyed several other sweet and 
 precious seasons of communion with God, (particularly Oct. 30, and Nov. 
 4,) wherein my soul enjoyed unspeakable comfort. 
 
 " I returned to college about Nov. 6. and, through the goodness of 
 God, felt the power of religion almost daily, for the space of six weeks. 
 Nov. 28. In my evening devotion, I enjoyed precious discoveries of God, 
 and was unspeakably refreshed with that passage, Heb. xii. 22-24. My 
 soul longed to wing away to the paradise of God ; I longed to be con 
 formed to God in all things. A day or two after, I enjoyed much of the 
 light of God s countenance, most of the day ; and my soul rested in God. 
 
 " Dec. 9. I was in a comfortable frame of soul most of the day; but es 
 pecially in evening devotions, when God was pleased wonderfully to assist 
 and strengthen me ; so that I thought nothing should ever move me from 
 the love of God in Christ Jesus my Lonl, Oh ! one hour with God infi 
 nitely exceeds all the pleasures and delights of this lower world. 
 
 "Towards the latter end of January, 1741, 1 grew more cold and dull in 
 religion, by means of my old temptation, viz. ambition in my studies. But 
 through divine goodness, a great and general awakening spread itself over 
 
X 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 the college, about the latter end of February, in which I was much quick 
 ened, and more abundantly engaged in religion." 
 
 [The following reference to a time of great religious ex 
 citement, into which Brainerd actively entered, and which 
 was intimately connected with the offence which led to his 
 expulsion from college, should be read with special care. 
 This " Great Religious Awakening " began in 1739, and con 
 tinued with varying power until 1745. Whitefield took an 
 active part in it, and was sometimes more zealous than dis 
 creet. Edwards himself was one of the chief instruments in 
 promoting this Revival, which had a marked effect on the 
 future religious history of New England. He gives a highly 
 interesting account of its rise, and progress and fruits, as well 
 as of its excesses, in his published works. His candid and 
 particular account of the circumstances connected with Brain- 
 erd s dismissal from college an event which had a great 
 influence on his whole after-life should be carefully noted, 
 as we shall have occasion to refer to it again. Justice to his 
 memory demands a thorough understanding of the circum 
 stances here particularly narrated by one familiar with the 
 facts of the case. J. M. S.] 
 
 This awakening was at the beginning of that extraordinary 
 religious commotion, through the land, which is fresh in every 
 one s memory. It was for a time very great and general at 
 New Haven ; and the college had no small share in it. That 
 society was greatly reformed ; the students, in general, be 
 came serious, many of them remarkably so, and much engaged 
 in the concerns of their eternal salvation. However unde 
 sirable the issue of the awakenings of that day have appeared 
 in many others, there have been manifestly happy and abiding 
 effects of the impressions then made on the minds of many 
 of the members of that college. By all that I can learn con 
 cerning Brainerd, there can be no reason to doubt but that 
 he had much of God s gracious presence, and of the lively 
 actings of true grace, at that time ; yet he was afterwards 
 abundantly sensible, that his religious experiences and affec- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 17 
 
 tions at that time were not free from a corrupt mixture, nor 
 his conduct to be acquitted from many things that were im 
 prudent and blameable ; which he greatly lamented himself, 
 and was desirous that others should not make an ill use of 
 such an example. Hence, although at the time he kept a 
 constant diary, containing a very particular account of what 
 passed from day to day, for the next thirteen months, from 
 the latter end of Jan. 1741, forementioned, in two small books, 
 which he called the two first volumes of his diary, next fol 
 lowing the account before given of his convictions, conversion, 
 and consequent comforts ; yet, when he lay on his deathbed, 
 he gave orders (unknown to me till after his death) that these 
 two volumes should be destroyed ; and in the beginning of 
 the third book of his diary, he wrote thus (by the hand of 
 another, he not being able to write himself), " The two pre 
 ceding volumes, immediately following the account of the 
 author s conversion, are lost. If any are desirous to know 
 how the author lived, in general, during that space of time, 
 let them read the first thirty pages of this volume ; where 
 they will find somewhat of a specimen of his ordinary manner 
 of living, through that whole space of time, which was about 
 thirteen months ; except that here he was more refined from 
 some imprudences and indecent heats, than there ; but the 
 spirit of devotion running through the whole, was the same." 
 It could not be otherwise than that one whose heart had 
 been so prepared and drawn to God, as Brainerd s had been, 
 should be mightily enlarged, animated, and engaged at the 
 sight of such an alteration made in the college, the town, and 
 country; and so great an appearance of men reforming 
 their lives, and turning from their profaneness and immor 
 ality, to seriousness and concern for their salvation, and of 
 religion reviving and flourishing almost everywhere. But as an 
 intemperate imprudent zeal, and a degree of enthusiasm soon 
 crept in, and mingled itself with that revival of religion ; and 
 so great and general an awakening being quite a new thing 
 in the land, at least as to all the living inhabitants of it ; 
 
1 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 neither people nor ministers had learned thoroughly to dis 
 tinguish between solid religion and its delusive counterfeits. 
 Even many ministers of the gospel, of long standing and the 
 best reputation, were for a time overpowered with the glaring 
 appearances of the latter ; and, therefore, surely it was not to 
 be wondered at, that young Brainerd, but a sophomore at col 
 lege, should be so ; who was not only young in years, but 
 very young in religion and experience. Pie had enjoyed but 
 little advantage for the study of divinity, and still less for 
 observing the circumstances and events of such an extraor 
 dinary state of things. To think it strange, a man must di 
 vest himself of all reason. In these disadvantageous circum 
 stances, Brainerd had the unhappiness to have a tincture of 
 that intemperate, indiscreet zeal, which was at that time too 
 prevalent ; and was led, from his high opinion of others whom 
 he looked upon as better than himself, into such errors as 
 were really contrary to the habitual temper of his mind. One 
 instance of his misconduct at that time, gave great offence to 
 the rulers of the college, even to that degree that they expelled 
 him ; which it is necessary should be here particularly related, 
 with its circumstances. 
 
 During the awakening at college, there were several 
 religious students who associated together for mutual conver 
 sation and assistance in spiritual things. These were wont 
 freely to open themselves one to another, as special and inti 
 mate friends ; Brainerd was one of this company. And it 
 once happened, that he and two or three more of these inti 
 mate friends were in the hall together, after Mr. Whittelsey, 
 one of the tutors, had engaged in prayer with the scholars ; 
 no other person now remaining in the hall but Brainerd and 
 ) his companions. Mr. Whittelsey having been unusually pa 
 thetic in his prayer, one of Brainerd s friends on this occasion 
 asked him what he thought of Mr. Whittelsey ; he made an 
 swer, " He has no more grace than this chair." One of the 
 freshmen happening at that time to be near the hall (though 
 not in the room), overheard these words. This person, though 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 19 
 
 he heard no name mentioned, and knew not who was thus 
 censured, informed a certain woman in the town, without 
 telling her his own suspicion, viz., that he believed Brainerd 
 had said this of some one or other of the rulers of 
 the college. Whereupon she went and informed the Rec 
 tor, who sent for this freshman and examined him. He told 
 the Rector the words which he heard Brainerd utter ; and 
 informed him who were in the room with him at that time. 
 Upon this the Rector sent for them. They were very back 
 ward to inform against their friend respecting what they 
 looked upon as private conversation ; especially as none but 
 they had heard or knew of whom he had uttered those words ; 
 yet the Rector compelled them to declare what he said, and 
 of whom he said it. Brainerd looked on himself as very ill 
 used in the management of this affair, and thought . that it 
 was injuriously extorted from his friends, and then injuriously 
 required of him as if he had been guilty of some open, 
 notorious crime to make a public confession, and to humble 
 himself before the whole college in the hall, for what he had 
 said only in private conversation. He not complying with 
 this demand, and having gone once to the separate meeting 
 at New Haven, when forbidden by the Rector; and also 
 having been accused by one person of saying concerning the 
 Rector, " that he wondered he did not expect to drop down 
 dead for fining the scholars who followed Mr. Tennent to 
 Milford," though there was no proof of it (and Brainerd 
 ever professed that he did not remember saying anything to 
 that purpose) ; for these things he was expelled the college. 
 
 How far the circumstances and exigencies of that dayl 
 might justify such great severity in the governors of the col 
 lege, I will not undertake to determine ; it being my aim, not 
 to bring reproach on the authority of the college, but only to 
 do justice to the memory of a person who was eminently one 
 of those whose memory is blessed. The reader will see, in 
 the sequel of Brainercl s life particularly under date Sept. 
 14, 1743 what his own thoughts afterwards were of his 
 
20 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 behavior in these things, and in how Christian a manner he 
 conducted himself, with respect to this affair ; though he ever, 
 as long as he lived, supposed himself ill used in the manage 
 ment of it, and in what he suffered. His expulsion was in 
 the winter of 1742, while in his third year at college. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2 I 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 His Education for the Christian Ministry. Licensed to Preach the Gospel. 
 
 IN the spring of 1742, Brainerd went to live with the Rev. 
 Mr. Mills of Ripton, to pursue his studies with him, for the 
 work of the ministry. Here he spent the greater part of the 
 time until the Association licensed him to preach ; but fre 
 quently rode to visit the neighboring ministers, particularly 
 Mr. Cooke of Stratford, Mr. Graham of Southbury, and Mr. 
 Bellamy of Bethlehem. While with Mr. Mills, he began the 
 third book of his diary in which the account he wrote of him 
 self, is as follows : 
 
 "April i, 1742. I seem to be declining, with respect to my life and 
 warmth in divine things ; and have had not so free access to God in 
 prayer, as usual of late. O that God would humble me deeply in the dust 
 before him ! I deserve hell every day, for not loving my Lord more, who 
 has, I trust, loved me and given himself for me ; and every time I am 
 enabled to exercise any grace renewedly I am renewedly indebted to the 
 God of all grace for special assistance. Where then is boasting ? Surely 
 it is excluded when we think how we are dependent on God for the exist 
 ence and every act of grace. O if ever I get to heaven, it will be because 
 God pleases and nothing else ; for I never did anything of myself, but 
 get away from God ! My soul will be astonished at the unsearchable 
 riches of divine grace, when I arrive at the mansions, which the blessed 
 Saviour is gone before to prepare. 
 
 " April 2. In the afternoon, I felt in secret prayer, much resigned, 
 calm and serene. What are all the storms of this lower world, if Jesus 
 by his Spirit does but come walking on the seas! Some time past, I had 
 much pleasure in the prospect of the Heathen being brought home to 
 Christ, and desired that the Lord would employ me in that work : but 
 n w my soul more frequently desires to die, to be with Christ. O that 
 my soul were wrapt up in divine love, and my longing desires after God 
 increased ! In the evening, was refreshed in prayer, with the hopes of 
 the advancement of Christ s kingdom in the world. 
 
 " April 3. Was very much amiss this morning, and had a bad night. 
 
22 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ,* 
 
 I thought, if God would take me to himself now, my soul would exceed 
 ingly rejoice. O that I may be always humble and resigned to God, 
 that he would cause my soul to be more fixed on himself, that I may be 
 more fitted both for doing and suffering. 
 
 " LorcTs day, April 4. My heart was wandering and lifeless. In the 
 evening God gave me faith in prayer, made my soul melt in some mea 
 sure, and gave me to taste a divine sweetness. O my blessed God! Let 
 me climb up near to him, and love, and long, and plead, and wrestle, 
 and stretch after him, and for deliverance from the body of sin and 
 death. Alas ! my soul mourned to think I should ever lose sight of us 
 beloved again. " O come, Lord Jesus, Amea." 
 
 The next day, he complains that he seemed to be void 
 of all relish of divine things, felt much of the prevalence of 
 corruption, and saw in himself a disposition to all manner of 
 sin ; which brought a very great gloom on his mind, and cast 
 him down into the depths of melancholy j so that he speaks 
 of himself as arn$jd, having no comfort, but filled with horror, 
 seeing no comfort in heaven or earth. 
 
 " April 6. I walked out this morning to the same place where I was 
 last night, and felt as I did then ; but was somewhat relieved by reading 
 some passages in my diary, and seemed to feel as if I might pray to the 
 .great God again with freedom ; but was suddenly struck with a damp, 
 from the sense I had of my own vileness. Then I cried to God to cleanse 
 me from my exceeding filthiness, to give me repentance and pardon. I 
 then began to find it sweet to pray and could think of under-going the 
 greatest sufferings in the cause of Christ, with pleasure and found my 
 self willing, if God should so order it, to suffer banishment from my na 
 tive land, among the Heathen, that I might do something for their salva 
 tion, in distresses and deaths of any kind. Then God gave me to wrestle 
 earnestly for others, for the kingdom of Christ in the world, and for dear 
 Christian friends. I felt weaned from the world, and from my own repu 
 tation amongst men, willing to be despised, and to be a gazing stock for 
 the world to behold. It is impossible for me to express how I then felt : 
 I had not much joy, but some sense of the majesty of God, which made 
 me as it were tremble ; I saw myself mean and vile, which made me 
 more willing that God should do what he would with me; it was all 
 infinitely reasonable. 
 
 " April 7. I had not so much fervency, but felt somewhat as I did 
 yesterday morning, in prayer. At noon I spent some time in secret, with 
 some fervency, but scarce any sweetness ; and felt very dull in the even 
 ing. April 8. Had raised hopes to-day respecting the Heathen. Oh 
 
MEMOIRS Or BRAINERD. 23 
 
 that God would bring in great numbers of them to Jesus Christ! I can 
 not but hope that I shall see that glorious clay. Everything in this 
 world seems exceeding vile and little to me ; I look so on myself. I had 
 some little dawn of comfort to-day in prayer ; but especially to-night, I 
 think I had some faith and power of intercession with God. I was enabled 
 to plead with God for the growth of grace in myself ; and many of the 
 dear children of God then lay with weight upon my soul. Blessed be the 
 Lord ! It is good to wrestle for divine blessings. 
 
 " April 9. Most of my time in morning devotion was spent without 
 sensible sweetness, yet I had one delightful prospect of arriving at the 
 heavenly world. I am more amazed than ever at such thoughts ; for I 
 see myself infinitely vile and unworthy. I feel very heartless and dull ; 
 and though I long for the presence of God, and seem constantly to reach 
 towards God in desires: yet I cannot feel that divine and heavenly sweet 
 ness that I used to enjoy. No poor creature stands in need of divine 
 grace more than I, and none abuse it more than I have done, and still 
 do. 
 
 " April 10. Spent much time in secret prayer this morning, not with 
 out some comfort in divine things, and hope I had some faith in exercise ; 
 but am so low, and feel so little of the sensible presence of God, that I 
 hardly know what to call faith, and am made to possess the sins of my 
 youth, and the dreadful sin of my nature. I am all sin ; I cannot think 
 nor act, but every motion is sin. I feel some faint hopes, that God will, 
 of his infinite mercy, return again with showers of converting grace to 
 poor gospel -abusing sinners ; and my hopes of being employed in the 
 cause of God, which of late have been almost extinct, seem now a little 
 revived. O that all my late distresses and awful apprehensions, might prove 
 but Christ s school, to make me fit for greater service, by teaching me the 
 great lesson of humility ! 
 
 " Lord s Day, April 1 1. In the morning I felt but little life, except 
 that my heart was somewhat drawn out in thankfulness to God, for his 
 amazing grace and condescension to me, in past influences and assistances 
 of his spirit. Afterwards, I had some sweetness in the thoughts of arriv 
 ing at the heavenly world. O for the happy day! After public worship, 
 God gave me special assistance in prayer ; I wrestled with my dear Lord 
 with much sweetness ; and intercession was made a delightful employ 
 ment to me. In the evening, as I was viewing the light in the north, I 
 was delighted in contemplation on the glorious morning of the Resurrec 
 tion. 
 
 "April 12. This morning the Lord was pleased to lift up the light 
 of his countenance upon me in secret prayer, and made the season very 
 precious to my soul. Though I have been so depressed of late, respect 
 ing my hopes of future serviceableness in the cause of God ; yet now I 
 
24 MEMOIRS OF BKA1NEKD. 
 
 had much encouragement respecting that matter. I was especially as 
 sisted to intercede and plead for poor souls, and for the enlargement of 
 Christ s kingdom in the world, and for special grace for myself, to fit me 
 for special services. I felt exceedingly calm, and quite resigned to God, 
 respecting my future employment, when and where he pleased. My 
 faith lifted me above the world, and removed all those mountains over 
 which of late I could not look. I wanted not the favor of man to lean 
 upon ; for I knew that Christ s favor was infinitely better, and that it was 
 no matter when nor where nor how Christ should send me, nor what 
 trials he should still exercise me with, if I might be prepared for his work 
 and will. I now found revived in my mind, the wonderful discovery of 
 infinite wisdom in all the dispensations of God towards me, which I had, 
 a little before I met with my great trial at college; everything appeared 
 full of divine wisdom. 
 
 " April 13. I saw myself to be very mean and vile ; and wondered at 
 those who showed me respect. Afterwards I was somewhat comforted 
 in secret retirement, and assisted to wrestle with God with some power, 
 spirituality, and sweetness. Blessed be the Lord, he is never unmindful 
 of me, but always sends me needed supplies ; and from time to time, when 
 I am like one dead, he raises me to life. O that I may never distrust In 
 finite goodness ! 
 
 " April 14. My soul longed for communion with Christ, and for the 
 mortification of indwelling corruption, especially spiritual pride. O, 
 there is a sweet day coming, wherein the weary will be at rest ! My soul 
 has enjoyed much sweetness this day, in the hopes of its speedy arrival. 
 April 15. My desires apparently centered in God ; and I found a sen 
 sible attraction of soul after him sundry times to-day. I know that I long 
 for God, and a conformity to his will, in inward purity and holiness, ten 
 thousand times more than for anything here below. April 16 and 17. 
 " I seldom prayed without some sensible joy in the Lord. Sometimes [ 
 longed much to be dissolved and to be with Christ. O that God would 
 enable me to grow in grace every day! Alas ! my barrenness is such that 
 God might well say, Cut it down. I am afraid of a dead heart on the 
 Sabbath now begun. O that God would quicken me by his grace ! 
 
 "Lara s day, April 18. I retired early this morning into the woods 
 for prayer; had the assistance of God s Spirit, and faith in exercise; and 
 -was enabled to plead with fervency for the advancement of Christ s king 
 dom in the world, and to intercede for dear, absent friends. At noon, 
 God enabled me to wrestle with him, and to feel, as I trust, the power of 
 divine love, in prayer. At night I saw myself infinitely indebted to God, 
 and had a view of my failures in duty. It seemed to me, that I had done, 
 as it were, nothing for God, and that I never had lived to him but a few 
 hours of my life. 
 
MKMOJXS Of BRA1NEKD. 
 
 2 5 
 
 God t\ 
 ; to give^ 
 ork ; and I 
 
 " April 19. I set apart thi* day for fasting and prayer to 
 his grace ; especially to prepare me for the work of the ministry ; 
 me divine aid and direction, in my preparations for that great work 
 in his own time to send me into his harvest. Accordingly, in the morn 
 ing, I endeavored to plead for the divine presence for the day, and not 
 without some life. In the forenoon, I felt the power of intercession for 
 precious, immortal souls ; for the advancement of the kingdom of my dear 
 Lord and Saviour in the world ; and withal, a most sweet resignation, and 
 even consolation and joy, in the thoughts of suffering hardships, distresses, 
 and even death itself, in the promotion of it, and had peculiar enlarge 
 ment in pleading for the enlightening and conversion of the poor Heathen. 
 In the afternoon, God was with me of a truth. O, it was blessed com 
 pany indeed ! God enabled me so to agonize in prayer, that I was quite 
 wet with perspiration, though in the shade, and the cool wind. My soul 
 was drawn out very much from the world, for multitudes of souls. I think 
 I had more enlargement for sinners, than for the children of God, though 
 I felt as if I could spend niy life in cries for both. I enjoyed great sweet 
 ness in communion with my dear Saviour. I think I never in my life felt 
 such an entire weanedness from this world and so much resigned to God 
 in everything. O that I may always live to and upon my blessed God ! 
 Amen, Amen. 
 
 " April 20. This day, I am twenty-four years of age. O how much 
 mercy have I received the year past ! How often has God caused his 
 goodness to pass before me ! And how poorly have I answered the vows 
 I made this time twelvemonth, to be wholly the Lord s, to be forever 
 devoted to his service! The Lord help me to live more to his glory for 
 the time to come. This has been a sweet, a happy clay to me ; blessed 
 be God. I think my soul was never so drawn out in intercession for 
 others, as it has been this night. Had a most fervent wrestle with the 
 Lord to-night for my enemies ; and I hardly ever so longed to live to God 
 and to be altogether devoted to him; I wanted to wear out my life in his 
 service, and for his glory. 
 
 "April 21. Felt much calmness and resignation; and God again 
 enabled me to wrestle for numbers of souls, and had much fervency in the 
 sweet duty of intercession. I enjoyed of late more sweetness in inter 
 cession for others, than in any other part of prayer. My blessed Lord 
 really let me come near to him and plead with him. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 25. This morning, I spent about two hours in secret 
 duties, and was enabled, more than ordinarily, to agonize for immortal 
 souls ; though it was early in the morning, and the sun scarcely shone at 
 all, yet my body was quite wet with sweat. I felt much pressed now, as 
 frequently of late, to plead for the meekness and calmness of the Lamb 
 of God in my soul; and through divine goodness, felt much of it this 
 
26 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 morning. O it is a sweet disposition, heartily to forgive all injuries done 
 us ; to wish our greatest enemies as well as we do our own souls f 
 Blessed Jesus, may I daily be more and more conformed to thee ! At 
 night, I was exceedingly melted with divine love, and had some feeling 
 sense of the blessednesss of the upper world. Those words hung upon 
 me, with much divine sweetness, Psal. Ixxxiv. 7. They go from strength 
 to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God : O-the near 
 access that God sometimes gives us in our addresses to him ! This may 
 well be termed appearing before God : it is so indeed, in the true spirit 
 ual sense, and in the sweetest sense. I think that I have not had such 
 power of intercession these many months, both for God s children, and 
 for dead sinners, as I have had this evening. I wished and longed for the 
 coming of my dear Lord : I longed to join the angelic host in praises, 
 wholly free from imperfection. O, the blessed moment hastens ! All I 
 want is to be more holy, more like my dear Lord. O for sanctification ! 
 My very soul pants for the complete restoration of the blessed image of 
 my Saviour ; that I may be fit for the blessed enjoyments and employ 
 ments of the heavenly world. 
 
 " Farewell, vain world ; my soul can bid adieu; 
 Your Saviour taught me to abandon you. 
 Your charms may gratify a sensual mind ; 
 But cannot please a soul for God design d, 
 Forbear t entice, cease then my soul to call ; 
 Tis fixed through grace ; my God shall be my all. 
 While he thus lets me heavenly glories view, 
 Your beauties fade, my heart s no room for you." 
 
 "The Lord refreshed my soul with many sweet passages of his word. 
 O the New Jerusalem ! my soul longed for it. O the song of Moses and 
 the Lamb ! And that blessed song that no man can learn, but they who 
 are redeemed from the earth ! and the glorious white robes, that were 
 given to the souls under the altar ! 
 
 " Lord, I m a stranger here alone ; 
 Earth no true comforts can afford : 
 Yet, absent from my dearest one, 
 My soul delights to cry My Lord ! * 
 Jesus, my Lord, my only love, 
 Possess my soul, nor thence depart ; 
 Grant me kind visits, heavenly dove ; 
 My God shall then have all my heart." 
 
 "April 26. Continued in a sweet frame of mind ; but in the afternoon, 
 felt somewhat of spiritual pride stirring. God was pleased to make it a 
 humbling season at first; though afterwards he gave me sweetness. O 
 my soul exceedingly longs for that blessed state of perfect deliverance 
 from all sin! At night, God enabled me to give my soul up to him, to cast 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 27 
 
 myself upon him, to be ordered and disposed of according to his sovereign 
 pleasure ; and I enjoyed great peace and consolation in so doing. My 
 soul took sweet delight in God ; my thoughts freely and sweetly centered 
 in him. O that I could spend every moment of my life to his glory ! 
 
 April 27. I retired early for secret devotions; and in prayer, God was 
 pleased to pour such ineffable comforts into my soul, that I could do noth 
 ing for some time but say over and over, " O my sweet Saviour ! O my 
 sweet Saviour ! " whom have I in heaven but thee ? and there is none upon 
 earth that I desire beside thee." If I had had a thousand lives, my soul 
 would gladly have laid them all down at once, to have been with Christ. 
 My soul never enjoyed so much of heaven before; it was the most refined 
 and most spiritual season of communion with God I ever yet felt I 
 never felt so great a degree of resignation in my life. In the afternoon, I 
 withdrew, to meet with my God, but found myself myself much declined, 
 and God made it a humbling season to my soul. I mourned over the body 
 of death that is in me. It grieved me exceedingly, that 1 could not pray 
 to and praise God with my heart full of divine heavenly love. O that my 
 soul might never offer any dead, cold services to my God ! In the even 
 ing had not so much divine love, as in the morning ; but had a sweet 
 season of fervent intercession. 
 
 "April 28. I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, in great peace 
 and tranquility, spent about two hours in secret duties, and felt much as 
 I did yesterday morning, only weaker, and more overcome. I seemed 
 to depend wholly on my dear Lord ; wholly weaned from all other de 
 pendencies. I knew not what to say to my God, but only lean on his 
 bosom, as it were, and breathe out my desires after a perfect conformity 
 to him in all things. Thirsting desires, and insatiable longings, possessed 
 my soul, after perfect holiness. God was so precious to my soul, 
 that the world, with all its enjoyments, was infinitely vile. I had 
 no more value for the favor of men, than for pebbles. The Lord was 
 my all, and that he over-ruled all, greatly delighted me. I think that my 
 faith and dependence on God scarce ever rose so high, I saw him such 
 a Fountain of goodness, that it seemed impossible I should distrust him 
 again, or be any way anxious about anything that should happen to me. I 
 now enjoyed great sweetness in praying for absent friends, and for the 
 enlargement of Christ s kingdom in the world. Much of the power of 
 these divine enjoyments remained with me through the day. In the 
 evening, my heart seemed to melt, and I trust was really humbled for in 
 dwelling corruption, and I mourned like a dove. I felt that all my un- 
 happiness arose from my being a sinner. With resignation, I could bid 
 welcome to all other trials ; but sin hung heavy upon me ; for God dis 
 covered to me the corruption of my heart. I went to bed with a heavy 
 heart, because I was a sinner : though I did not in the least doubt of 
 
2 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 God s love. O that God would purge away my dross, and take away my 
 tin, and make me ten times refined 1 
 
 April 29. I was kept off at a distance from God; but had some 
 enlargement in intercession for precious souls. April 30. I was some 
 what dejected in spirit: nothing grieves me so much, as that I cannot live 
 constantly to God s glory. I could bear any desertion or spiritual con 
 flicts, if I could but have my heart all the while burning within me with 
 love to God and desires of his glory. But this is impossible; for when I 
 feel these, I cannot be dejected in my soul, but only rejoice in my Saviour, 
 who has delivered me from the reigning power, and will shortly deliver 
 me from the indwelling of sin. 
 
 " May i. I was enabled to cry to God with fervency for ministerial 
 qualifications, that he would appear for the advancement of his own 
 kingdom, and that he would bring in the Heathen. Had much assistance 
 in my studies. This has been a profitable week to me; I have enjoyed 
 many communications of the blessed Spirit in my soul. 
 
 " Lord s day, May 2. God was pleased this morning to give me such a 
 sight of myself, as made me appear very vile in my own eyes. I felt 
 corruption stirring in my heart, which I could by no means suppress ; felt 
 more and more deserted ; was exceeding weak, and almost sick with my 
 inward trials. May 3. Had a sense of vile ingratitude. In the morn 
 ing I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, and mourned for my abuse 
 of my dear Lord ; spent the day in fasting and prayer. God gave me 
 much power of wrestling for his cause and kingdom; and it was a happy 
 day to my soul. God was with me all the day; and I was more above the 
 world, than ever in my life. 
 
 "Lord s day, May 9. I think I never felt so much of the cursed pride 
 of my heart, as well as the stubbornness of my will before. O dreadful ! 
 what a vile wretch I am ! I could submit to be nothing, and to lie down 
 in the dust. O that God would humble me in the dust 1 I felt myself 
 such a sinner, all day, that I had scarce any comfort. O, when shall I 
 be delivered from the body of this death ! I greatly feared, lest through 
 stupidity and carelessness I should lose the benefit of these trials. O 
 that they might be sanctified to my soul ! Nothing seemed to touch me but 
 only this, that I was a sinner. Had fervency and refreshment in social 
 prayer in the evening. 
 
 " May 10. I rode to New-Haven; saw some Christian friends there ; 
 and had comfort in joining in prayer with them, and hearing of the good 
 ness of God to them, since I last saw them. May n. "I rode from New- 
 Haven to Wethersfield; was very dull most of the day ; had little spiritu 
 ality in this journey, though I often longed to be alone with God ; was 
 much perplexed with vile thoughts ; was sometimes afraid of everything : 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 29 
 
 but God was my Helper. Caught a little time for retirement in the even 
 ing, to my comfort and rejoicing, Alas ! I cannot live in the midst of a 
 tumult. I long to enjoy God alone. May 12. I had a distressing view 
 of the pride, enmity and vileness of my heart. Afterwards had sweet 
 refreshment in conversing and worshipping God, with Christian friends. 
 
 " May 13. Saw so much of the wickedness of my heart, that I longed 
 to get away from myself. I never before thought that there was so much 
 spiritual pride in my soul. I felt almost pressed to death with my own 
 vileness. O what a body of death is there in me ! Lord, deliver my soul ! 
 I could not find any convenient place for retirement, and was greatly ex 
 ercised. Rode to Hartford in the afternoon : had some refreshment and 
 comfort in religious exercises with Christian friends; but longed for more 
 retirement. O the closest walk with God is the sweetest heaven that can 
 be enjoyed on earth ! 
 
 " May 14. I waited on a council of ministers convened at Hartford, 
 and spread before them the treatment I had met with from the rector and 
 tutors of Yale College ; who thought it advisable to intercede for me with 
 the rector and trustees, and to intreat them to restore me to my former 
 privileges in college.* After this, spent some time in religious exercises 
 with Christian friends. 
 
 " May 1 5. I rode from Hartford to Hebron ; was somewhat dejected 
 on the road ; appeared exceeding vile in my own eyes, saw much pride and 
 stubbornness in my heart. Indeed I never saw such a week as this before ; 
 for I have been almost ready to die with the view of the wickedness of my 
 heart. I could not have thought I had such a body of death in me. Oh, 
 that God would deliver my soul ! " 
 
 The three next days (which he spent at Hebron, Lebanon, 
 and Norwich) he complains still of dullness and desertion, 
 and expresses a sense of his vileness, and longing to hide 
 himself in some cave or den of the earth ; but yet speaks of 
 some intervals of comfort and soul-refreshment each day. 
 
 " May 19. [At Millington] I was so amazingly deserted this morning, 
 that I seemed to feel a sort of horror in my soul. Alas ! when God with 
 draws, what is there that can afford any comfort to the soul ! " 
 
 Through the eight days next following, he expresses more 
 calmness and comfort, and considerable life, fervency, and 
 sweetness in religion. 
 
 " May 28. [At New-Haven] I think I scarce ever felt so calm in my 
 * This application was not successful. 
 
3 MEMOIRS OF P.RAINERD. 
 
 life ; I rejoiced in resignation, and giving myself up to God, to be wholly 
 and entirely devoted to him for ever. 
 
 "June i. Had much of the presence of God in family prayer, and had 
 some comfort in secret. I was greatly refreshed from the word of God 
 this morning, which appeared exceedingly sweet to me ; some things which 
 appeared mysterious, were opened to me. O that the Kingdom of the 
 dear Saviour might come with power, and the healing waters of the 
 sanctuary spread far and wide for the healing of the nations ! Came to 
 Ripton; but was very weak. However, being visited by a number of 
 young people in the evening, I prayed with them. 
 
 " Lord s day, June 6. I feel much deserted : but all this teaches me my 
 nothingness and vileness more than ever. June 7. Felt still powerless 
 in secret prayer. Afterwards I prayed and conversed with some little 
 life. God feeds me with crumbs; blessed be his name for anything. I 
 felt a great desire that all God s people might know how mean and little 
 and vile I am ; that they might see I am nothing, that so they may pray 
 for me aright, and not have the least dependence upon me. June 8. I 
 enjoyed one sweet and precious season this day ; I never felt it so sweet 
 to be nothing, and less than nothing, and to be accounted nothing. 
 
 June 12. Spent much time in prayer this morning, and enjoyed much 
 sweetness. Felt insatiable longings after God much of the day. I 
 wondered how poor souls do to live, that have no God. The world, with 
 all its enjoyments, quite vanished. I see myself very helpless ; but I have 
 a blessed God to go to. I longed exceedingly to be dissolved, and to be 
 with Christ, to behold his glory. O my weak weary soul longs to arrive 
 at my Father s house ! 
 
 Lord s day, June 13. Felt somewhat calm and resigned in the public 
 worship: at the sacrament saw myself very vile and worthless. O that 
 I may always lie low in the dust! My soul seemed steadily to go forth 
 after God, in longing desire to live upon him. 
 
 June 14. Felt somewhat of the sweetness of communion with God, and 
 the constraining force of his love ; how admirably it captivates the soul, 
 and makes all the desires and affections to centre in God ! I set apart 
 this day for secret fastings and prayer, to intreat God to direct and bless 
 me with regard to the great work which I have in view, of preaching the 
 gospel and that the Lord would return to me, and show me the light of 
 his countenance. Had little life and power in the forenoon : near the 
 middle of the afternoon, God enabled me to wrestle ardently in inter 
 cession for my absent friends: but just at night the Lord visited me 
 marvellously in prayer. I think my soul never was in such an agony 
 before. I felt no restraint; for the treasures of divine grace were opened 
 to me. I wrestled for absent friends, for the ingathering of souls, for 
 
MEMOIRS OF ERAINERD. 31 
 
 multitudes of poor souls, and for many that I thought were the children 
 of God, personally, in many distant places. I was in such an agony from 
 sun half an hour high, till near dark, that I was all over wet with sweat : 
 but yet it seemed to me that I had wasted away the day, and had done 
 nothing. O my dear Saviour did sweat blood for poor souls ! I longed 
 for more compassion towards them. Felt still in a sweet frame, under a 
 sense of divine love and grace ; and went to bed in such aframe, with my 
 heart set on God. 
 
 "June 15. Had the most ardent longings after God, which I ever 
 felt in my life. At noon, in my secret retirement, I could do nothing but 
 tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew I desired nothing but 
 himself, nothing but holiness ; that he had given me these desires, and he 
 only could give me the thing desired. I never seemed to be so unhinged 
 from myself, and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swal 
 lowed up in God most of the day. In the evening I had such a view of 
 the soul being as it were enlarged, to contain more holiness, that it seemed 
 ready to separate from my body. I then wrestled in an agony for divine 
 blessings ; had my heart drawn out in prayer for some Christian friends, 
 beyond what I ever had before. I feel differently now from what I ever 
 did under any enjoyments before ; more engaged to live to God for ever, 
 and less pleased with my own frames. I am not satisfied with my frames, 
 nor feel at all more easy after such strugglings than before ; for it seems 
 far too little, if I could always be so. O how short do I fall of my duty 
 in my sweetest moments ! 
 
 " June 18. Considering my great unfitness for the work of the minis 
 try, my present deadness, and total inability to do anything for the glory 
 of God that way, feeling myself very helpless, and at a great loss what the 
 Lord would have me to do ; I set apart this day for prayer to God, and 
 spent most of the day in that duty, but amazingly deserted most of the 
 day. Yet I found God graciously near, once in particular ; while I was 
 pleading for more compassion for immortal souls, my heart seemed to be 
 opened at once, and I was enabled to cry with great ardency, for a few 
 nvnutes. O I was distressed to think that I should offer such dead cold 
 services to the living God! My soul seemed to breathe after holiness, a 
 life of constant devotedness to God. But I am almost lost sometimes in 
 the pursuit of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because I continually 
 fall short, and miss of my desire. O that the Lord would help me to 
 hold out, yet a little while, until the happy hour of deliverance comes! 
 
 "June 19. Felt much disordered; my spirits were very low : but yet 
 enjoyed some freedom and sweetness in the duties of religion. Blessed 
 be God. Lord s day, June 20. Spent much time alone. My soul 
 earnestly wished to be holy, and reached after God ; but seemed not to 
 obtain my desire. I hungered and thirsted ; but was not refreshed and 
 
3 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXKRD. 
 
 satisfied. My soul rested on God, as my only portion. O that I could 
 grow in grace more abundantly every day 
 
 " June 22. In the morning spent about two hours in prayer and 
 meditation, with considerable delight. Towards night felt my soul go out 
 in earnest desires after God, in secret retirement. In the evening, was 
 sweetly composed and resigned to God s will ; was enabled to leave my 
 self and all my concerns with him, and to have my whole dependence 
 upon him. My secret retirement was very refreshing to my soul ; it ap 
 peared such a happiness to have God for my portion, that I had rather 
 be any other creature in this lower creation, than not come to the enjoy 
 ment of God. I had rather be a beast, than a man, without God, if I 
 were to live here to eternity. Lord, endear thyself more to me ! " 
 
 In his diary for the next seven days, he expresses a va 
 riety of exercises of mind. He speaks of great longings after 
 God and holiness, and earnest desires for the conversion of 
 others ; of fervency in prayer, power to wrestle with God, 
 composure, comfort, and sweetness, from time to time ; but 
 expresses a sense of the abomination of his heart, and bitterly 
 complains of his barrenness, and the body of death ; and 
 says, "he saw clearly that whatever he enjoyed, better than 
 hell, was of free grace." He complains of falling much below 
 the character of a child of God ; and is sometimes very dis 
 consolate and dejected. 
 
 " June 30. Spent this day alone in the woods, in fasting and prayer ; 
 underwent the most dreadful conflicts in my soul, which I ever felt, in 
 some respects. I saw myself so vile, that I was ready to say, I shall 
 now perish by the hand of Saul. I thought that I had no power to stand 
 for the cause of God, but was almost afraid of the shaking of a leaf. 
 Spent almost the whole day in prayer, incessantly. I could not bear to 
 think of Christians showing me any respect. I almost despaired of doing 
 any service in the world ; I could not feel any hope or comfort respecting 
 the heathen, which used to afford me some refreshment in the darkest 
 hours of this nature. I spent the day in bitterness of soul. Near night 
 I felt a little better; and afterwards enjoyed some sweetness in secret 
 prayer. 
 
 "July I- Had some enjoyment in prayer this morning; and far more 
 than usual in secret prayer to-night, and desired nothing so ardently as 
 that God should do with me just as he pleased. July 2. Felt com 
 posed in secret prayer in the morning. My desires ascended to God 
 this day, as I was travelling : and was comfortable in the evening. 
 
D - 33 
 
 Blessed be Go.l for all my consolation. July 3. " My heart seemed again 
 to sink. The disgrace I was laid under at College, seemed to damp me ; 
 as it opens the mouths of opposers. I had no refuge but in God. 
 Blessed be his name, that I may go to him at all times, and find him a 
 present help. 
 
 "Lord s day, July 4. Had considerable assistance. In the evening I 
 withdrew, and enjoyed a happy season in secret prayer. God was 
 pleased to give me the exercise of faith, and thereby brought the in 
 visible and eternal world near to my soul which appeared sweetly to me. 
 I hoped that my weary pilgrimage in the world would be short ; and that 
 it would not be long before I was brought to my heavenly home and 
 Father s house. I was resigned to God s will, to tarry his time, to do 
 his work, and suffer his pleasure. I felt thankfulness to God for all my 
 pressing desertions of late ; for I am persuaded that they have been 
 made a means of making me more humble, and much more resigned. I 
 felt pleased to be little, to be nothing, and to lie in the dust. I enjoyed 
 life and consolation in pleading for the dear children of God, and the 
 kingdom of Christ in the world : and my soul earnestly breathed after 
 holiness, and the enjoyment of God. O come, Lord Jesus, come 
 quickly. 
 
 "Lord s day, July 1 1. Was deserted and exceedingly dejected in the 
 morning. In the afternoon, had some life and assistance, and felt re 
 signed. I saw myself to be exceeding vile. 
 
 "July 14. Felt a degree of humble resigned sweetness: spent a con 
 siderable time in secret, giving myself up wholly to the Lord. Heard 
 Mr. Ballamy preach towards night ; felt very sweetly part of the time : 
 longed for nearer access to God. 
 
 "July 19. My desires seem especially to be after weanedness from 
 the world, perfect deadness to it, and that I may be crucified to all its 
 allurements. My soul desires to feel itself more of a pilgrim and 
 stranger here below ; that nothing may divert me from pressing through 
 the lonely desert, till I arrive at my Father s house. July 20. It was 
 sweet to give away myself to God to be disposed of at his pleasure. I 
 had some feeling sense of the sweetness of being a pilgrim on earth. 
 
 "July 22. Journeying from Southbury to Ripton, I called at a house 
 by the way, where being very kindly entertained and refreshed, I was 
 filled with amazement and shame, that God should stir up the hearts of 
 any to show so much kindness to such a dead dog as I ; was made 
 sensible in some manner, how exceeding vile it is not to be wholly de 
 voted to God. I wondered that God would suffer any of his creatures to 
 feed and sustain me from time to time. 
 
 "J u fy 2 9- I was examined by the Association met at Danbury, as to 
 
3 4 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 my learning, and also my experience in religion, and received a license 
 from them to preach the gospel of Christ. Afterwards felt much de 
 voted to God ; joined in prayer with one of the ministers, my peculiar 
 friend, in a convenient place, and went to bed resolving to live devoted 
 to God all my days." 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 35 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Beginning of his Missionary Career among the Indians of North America. 
 
 "July 30, 1742. Rode from Danbury to Southbury ; preached there, 
 from i Pet. iv. 8. And above all things have fervent charity, etc. Had 
 much of the comfortable presence of God in the exercise. I seemed to 
 have power with God in prayer, and power to get hold of the hearts of the 
 people in preaching. July 31. 1 was calm and composed, as well as greatly 
 refreshed and encouraged. 
 
 "Lord s day, Aug. 8. n the morning I felt comfortably in secret prayer ; 
 my soul was refreshed with the hopes of the Heathen coming home to 
 Christ ; was much resigned to God, and thought it was no matter what 
 became of me. Preached both parts of the day at Bethlehem, from Job 
 xiv. 14. If a man die, shall he live again, etc. It was sweet to me to 
 meditate on death. In the evening, felt very comfortably, and cried to 
 God fervently in secret prayer. 
 
 "Aug. 12. This morning and last night I was exercised with sore inward 
 trials : I had no power to pray : but seemed shut out from God. I had in 
 a great measure lost my hopes of God s sending me among the Heathen 
 afar off, and of seeing them flock home to Christ, I saw so much of my 
 vileness, that I wondered that God would let me live, and that people did 
 not stone me ; much more that they would ever hear me preach ! It 
 seemed as though I never could nor should preach any more, yet about 
 nine or ten o clock, the people came over, and I was forced to preach. 
 And blessed be God, he gave me his presence and Spirit in prayer and 
 preaching : so that I was much assisted, and spake with power from Job, 
 xiv. 14. Some Indians cried out in great distress,* and all appeared 
 greatly concerned. After we had prayed and exhorted them to seek the 
 Lord with constancy, and hired an English woman to keep a kind of school 
 among them, we came away about one o clock and came to Judea, about 
 fifteen or sixteen miles. There God was pleased to visit my soul with 
 much comfort. Blessed be the Lord for all things I meet with. 
 
 "Lord s day Aug. 15. Felt much comfort and devotedness to God this 
 day. At night, it was refreshing to get alone with God, and pour out my 
 soul. Oh, who can conceive of the sweetness of communion with the 
 
 * It was near Kent, on the western borders of Connecticut, where there is a number 
 of Indians. 
 
3 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 blessed God, but those who have experience of it ! Glory to God for 
 ever, that I may taste heaven below. Aug. 16. Had some comfort in secret 
 prayer, in the morning. Felt sweetly sundry times in prayer this day ; 
 but was much perplexed in the evening with vain conversation. Aug. 17. 
 Exceedingly depressed in spirit, it cuts and wounds my heart, to think 
 how much self-exultation, spiritual pride, and warmth of temper, I have 
 formerly had intermingled with my endeavors to promote God s work : 
 and sometimes I long to lie clown at the feet of opposers, and confess 
 what a poor imperfect creature I have been, and still am. The Lord for 
 give me, and make me for the future wise as a serpent, and harmless as a 
 dove ! Afterwards enjoyed considerable comfort and delight of soul. 
 
 "Aug. 18. Spent most of this day in prayer and reading. I see so much 
 of my own extreme vileness, that I feel ashamed and guilty before God 
 and man ; I look to myself like the vilest fellow in the land : I wonder 
 that God stirs up his people to be so kind to me. Aug. 19, This day, 
 being about to go from Mr. Bellamy s at Bethlehem, where I had resided 
 some time, I prayed with him, and two or three other Christian friends. 
 We gave ourselves to God with all our hearts, to be his for ever : eternity 
 looked very near tome, while I was praying. If I never should see these 
 Christians again in this world, it seemed but a few moments before I 
 should meet them in another world. 
 
 "Aug. 20. I appeared so vile to myself, that I hardly dared to think of 
 being seen, especially on account of spiritual pride. However, to-night I 
 enjoyed a sweet hour alone with God, [at Ripton] : I was lifted above the 
 frowns and flatteries of this lower world ; had a sweet relish of heavenly 
 joys ; and my soul did, as it were, get into the eternal world, and really 
 taste of heaven. I had a sweet season of intercession for dear friends in 
 Christ ; and God helped me to cry fervently for Zion. Blessed be God 
 for this season. 
 
 " Aug. 21. Was much perplexed in the morning. Towards noon 
 enjoyed more of God in secret ; was enabled to see that it was best to 
 throw myself into the hands of God, to be disposed of according to his 
 pleasure, and rejoiced in such thoughts. In the afternoon rode to New- 
 Haven : was much confused all the way. Just at night, underwent such 
 a dreadful conflict as I have scarce ever felt. I saw myself exceeding 
 vile and unworthy; so that I was guilty, and ashamed that anybody 
 should bestow any favor on me, or show me any respect. 
 
 11 Lord s day, Aug. 22. In the morning continued still in perplexity. 
 In the evening enjoyed comfort sufficient to overbalance all my late 
 distresses. I saw that God is the only soul-satisfying portion, and I really 
 found satisfaction in him. My soul was much enlarged in sweet in 
 tercession for my fellow-men everywhere, and for many Christian 
 friends in particular, in distant places. Aug. 23. Had a sweet season 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 37 
 
 in secret prayer : the Lord drew near to my soul and filled me with 
 peace and divine consolation. Oh, my soul tasted the sweetness of the 
 upper world ; and was drawn out in prayer for the world, that it might 
 come home to Christ ! Had much comfort in the thoughts and hopes 
 of the ingathering of the Heathen ; was greatly assisted in interces 
 sion for Christian friends. Aug. 25. In family prayer, God helped 
 me to climb up near him, so that I scarce ever got nearer. 
 
 "Aug. 30. Felt somewhat comfortably in the morning ; conversed 
 sweetly with some friends ; was in a serious composed frame ; and 
 prayed at a certain house with some degree of sweetness. Afterwards 
 at another house, prayed privately with a dear Christian friend or two; 
 and, I think, I scarce ever launched so far into the eternal world as then ; 
 I got so far out on the broad ocean, that my soul with joy triumphed over 
 all the evils on the shores of mortality. I think time, and all its gay 
 amusements and cruel disappointments, never appeared so inconsiderable 
 to me before. I was in a sweet frame ; I saw myself nothing, and my 
 soul reached after God with intense desire. Oh, I saw what I owed to 
 God, in such a manner, as I scarce ever did ! I knew that I had never 
 lived a moment to him as I should do ; indeed, it appeared to me, that I 
 had never done anything in Christianity : my soul longed with a vehe 
 ment desire to live to God. In the evening, sung and prayed with a num 
 ber of Christians : felt the powers of the world to come in my soul, in 
 prayer. Afterwards prayed again privately, with a dear Christian or two 
 jincl found the presence of God ; was somewhat humbled in my secret 
 retirement : felt my ingratitude, because I was not wholly swallowed up 
 in God. 
 
 " Sept. i. Went to Judea, to the ordination of Mr. Judd. Mr. 
 Bellamy preached from Matt. xxiv. 46. Blessed is that servant, etc. 
 I felt very solemn most of the time ; had my thoughts much on that time 
 when our Lord will come; that time refreshed my soul much ; only I was 
 afraid I should not be found faithful, because I have so vile a heart. My 
 thoughts were much in eternity, where I love to dwell. Blessed be God 
 for this solemn season. Rode home to night with Mr. Bellamy, con 
 versed with some friends till it was very late, and then retired to rest in a 
 comfortable frame. 
 
 "Sept. 2. In the afternoon, I preached from John vi. 67. Then 
 said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away ? and God assisted 
 me in some comfortable degree ; but more especially in my first prayer ; 
 my soul seemed then to launch quite into the eternal world, and to be as 
 it were, separated from this lower world. Afterwards preached again 
 from Isa. v. 4. What could have been done more, etc. God gave me 
 some assistance ; but I saw myself a poor worm. 
 
 " Sept. 4. Much out of health, exceedingly depressed in my soul, and 
 
3 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 f 
 
 at an awful distance from God. Towards night, spent some time in profitable 
 thoughts on Rom. viii. 2. For the law of the spirit of life, etc. Near 
 night, had a very sweet season in prayer ; God enabled me to wrestle 
 ardently for the advancement of the Redeemer s kingdom ; pleaded 
 earnestly for my own dear brother John, that God would make him more 
 of a pilgrim and stranger on the earth, and fit him for singular service- 
 ableness in the world ; and my heart sweetly exulted in the Lord, in the 
 thoughts of any distresses that might alight on him or on me, in the ad 
 vancement of Christ s kingdom. It was a sweet and comfortable hour 
 unto my soul, while I was indulged with freedom to plead, not only for 
 myself, but also for many other souls. 
 
 " Lord s dny, Sept. 5. Preached all day : was somewhat strengthened 
 and assisted in the afternoon; more especially in the evening: had a 
 sense of my unspeakable failures in all my duties. I found, alas ! that I 
 had never lived to God in my life. Sept. 6. Was informed that they 
 only waited for an opportunity to apprehend me for preaching at New- 
 Haven lately, that so they might imprison me. This made me more 
 solemn and serious, and to quit all hopes of the world s friendship ; it 
 brought me to a further sense of my vileness, and just desert of this, and 
 much more, from the hand of God, though not from the hand of man. 
 Retired into a convenient place in the woods, and spread the matter be 
 fore God. 
 
 " Sept. 7. Had some relish of divine things, in the morning. After 
 wards felt more barren and melancholy. Rode to New-Haven to a 
 friend s house, at a distance from the town ; that I misht remain undis 
 covered and yet have opportunity to do business privately, with friends 
 which come to commencement. 
 
 " Sept. 8. Felt very sweetly, when I first rose in the morning. In 
 family prayer, had some enlargement, but not much spirituality, till 
 eternity came up before me, and looked near ; I found some sweetness in 
 the thoughts of bidding a dying farewell to this tiresome world. Though 
 sometime ago I reckoned upon seeing my dear friends at commencement ; 
 yet being now denied the opportunity, for fear of imprisonment, I felt 
 totally resigned, and as contented to spend this day alone in the woods, as 
 I could have done, if I had been allowed to go to town. Felt exceedingly 
 weaned from the world to-day. In the afternoon, I discoursed on divine 
 things, with a dear Christian friend, whereby we were both refreshed. 
 Then I prayed, with a sweet sense of the blessedness of communion with 
 God : I think I scarce ever enjoyed more of God in any one prayer. O 
 it was a blessed season indeed to my soul ! I know not that ever I saw 
 so much of my own nothingness, in my life ; never wondered so, that God 
 allowed me to preach his word. This has been a sweet and comfortable 
 day to my soul. Blessed be God. Prayed again with my dear friend, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 39 
 
 with something of the divine presence. I long to be wholly conformed 
 to God, and transformed into his image. 
 
 " Sept. 9. Spent much of the day alone ; enjoyed the presence of 
 God in some comfortable degree : was visited by some dear friends 
 and prayed with them : wrote sundry letters to friends; felt reli 
 gion in my soul while writing : enjoyed sweet meditations on some 
 scriptures. In the evening, went very privately into town, from the place 
 of my residence at the farms, and conversed with some dear friends ; felt 
 sweetly in singing hymns with them : and made my escape to the farms 
 again, without being discovered by any enemies, as I knew of. Thus the 
 Lord preserves me continually. 
 
 " Sept. 10. Longed with intense desire after God ; my whole soul 
 seemed impatient to be conformed to him, and to become holy, as he 
 is holy. In the afternoon, prayed with a dear friend privately, and had 
 the presence of God with us ; our souls united together to reach after a 
 blessed immortality, to be unclothed of the body of sin and death, and to 
 enter the blessed world, where no unclean thing enters. O, with what 
 intense desire did our souls long for that blessed day, that we might be 
 freed from sin, and forever live to and in our God ! In the evening, took 
 leave of that house ; but first kneeled down and prayed ; the Lord was 
 of a truth in the midst of us ; it was a sweet parting season ; felt in myself 
 much sweetness and affection in the things of God. Blessed be God for 
 every such divine gale of his Spirit, to speed me on in my way to the new 
 Jerusalem ! Felt some sweetness afterwards, and spent the evening in 
 conversation with friends, and prayed with some life, and retired to rest 
 very late." 
 
 The next five days he appears to have been in an exceed 
 ingly comfortable frame of mind, for the most part, and to have 
 been the subject of the like heavenly exercises as are often ex 
 pressed in preceding passages of his diary ; such as, having his 
 heart much engaged for God, wrestling with him in prayer with 
 power and ardency; enjoying at times sweet calmness and 
 composure of mind, giving himself up to God to be his for 
 ever with great complacence of mind ; being wholly resigned 
 to the will of God, that he might do with him what he pleased ; 
 longing to improve time, having the eternal world, as it were, 
 brought nigh ; longing after God and holiness, earnestly de 
 siring a complete conformity to him, and wondering how poor 
 souls do to exist without God. 
 
 "Sept* 16. At night, enjoyed much of God, in secret prayer : felt an 
 
40 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 uncommon resignation, to be and do what God pleased. Some days past, 
 I felt great perplexity on account of my past conduct: my bitterness, 
 and want of Christian kindness and love, has been very distressing to my 
 soul : the Lord forgive me my unchristian warmth, and want of a spirit 
 of meekness ! 
 
 "Sept. 18. Felt some compassion for souls, and mourned that I had no 
 more. I feel much more kindness, meekness, gentleness, and love to 
 wards all mankind, than ever. I long to be at the feet of my enemies and 
 persecutors: enjoyed some sweetness in feeling my soul conformed to 
 Christ Jesus, and given away to him for ever." 
 
 The next day he speaks of much dejection and discour 
 agement, from an apprehension of his own unfitness ever to 
 do any good in preaching ; but blesses God for all dispensa 
 tions of providence and grace ; finding that by all God 
 weaned him more from the world, and made him more re 
 signed. 
 
 The ten days following he appears to have been in great 
 melancholy, exceedingly dejected and discouraged : speaks 
 of his being ready to give up all forgone respecting the cause 
 of Christ, and exceedingly longing to die ; yet had some sweet 
 seasons and intervals of comfort, and special assistance and 
 enlargement in the duties of religion, and in performing pub 
 lic services, and considerable success in them. 
 
 " Sept. 30. Still very low in spirits ; I did not know how to engage in 
 any work o r business, especially to correct some disorders among 
 Christians; felt as though I had no power to be faithful in that regard. 
 However, towards noon. I preached from Deut. viii. 2. And thou shalt 
 remember, etc, and was enabled with freedom to reprove some things in 
 Christians conduct, I thought very unsuitable and irregular ; insisted near 
 two hours on this subject." 
 
 Through this and the two following weeks,he passed through 
 a variety of exercises ; he was frequently dejected, and felt 
 inward distresses : sometimes sunk into the depths of melan 
 choly ; at which turns he was not exercised about the state of 
 his soul, with regard to the favor of God, and his interest in 
 Christ, but about his own sinful infirmities, and unfitness for 
 God s service. His mind appears sometimes extremely de 
 pressed with a sense of inexpressible vileness. But, in the 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAfNEKD. 41 
 
 mean time, he speaks of many seasons of comfort, and spirit 
 ual refreshment, wherein his heart was encouraged and 
 strengthened in God, and sweetly resigned to his will ; of some 
 seasons of very high degrees of spiritual consolation, and of 
 his great longings after holiness, and conformity to God ; of 
 his great fear of offending God, and of his heart being sweetly 
 melted in religious duties ; of his longing for the advance 
 ment of Christ s kingdom, of his having at times much assist 
 ance in preaching, and of remarkable effects on the audience. 
 
 "Lord s day, Oct. 17. Had a considerable sense of my helplessness 
 and inability; saw that I must be dependent on God for all I want; and 
 especially when I went to the place of public worship. I found I could 
 not speak a word for God, without his special help and assistance. I went 
 into the assembly trembling, as I frequently do, under a sense of my in 
 sufficiency to do anything in the cause of God, as I ought to do. But it 
 pleased God to afford me much assistance, and there seemed to be a con 
 siderable effect on the hearers. In the evening, I felt a disposition to 
 praise God for his goodness to me, that he had enabled me in some 
 measure to be faithful; and my soul rejoiced to think, that I had thus per 
 formed the work of one day more, and was one clay nearer my eternal, and 
 I trust my heavenly home. O that I may be faithful to the death, full- 
 filfing as an hireling my day, till the shades of the evening of life shall 
 free my soul from the toils of the day ! This evening in secret prayer, I 
 felt exceedingly solemn, and such longing desires after deliverance from 
 sin, and after conformity to God, as melted my heart. O I longed to be 
 delivered from this body of death! I felt inward, pleasing pain, that I 
 could not be conformed to God entirely, fully, and forever. I scarce ever 
 preach without being first visited with inward conflicts, and sore trials. 
 Blessed be the Lord for these trials and distresses, as they are blessed for 
 my humbling. 
 
 " Oct. 18. In the morning, I felt some sweetness, but still pressed 
 through trials of soul. My life is a constant mixture of consolations and 
 conflicts, and will be so till I arrive at the world of spirits. Oct. ig. " This 
 morning and last night, I felt a sweet longing in my soul after holiness. 
 My soul seemed so to reach and stretch towards the mark of perfect 
 sanctity, that it was ready to break with longings. Oct. 20. Very infirm 
 in body, exercised with much pain, and very lifeless in divine things. 
 Felt a little sweetness in the evening. 
 
 " Oct. 21. Had a very deep sense of the vanity of the world most of the 
 day ; had little more regard to it, than if I had been to go into eternity 
 the next hour. Through divine goodness, I felt very serious and solemn. 
 
4 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXEKD. 
 
 O, I love to live on the brink of eternity, in my views and meditations! 
 This gives me a sweet, awful, and reverential sense and apprehension of 
 God and divine things, when I see myself, as it were, standing before the 
 judgment seat of Christ. 
 
 " Oct. 22. Uncommonly weaned from the world to-day : my soul 
 delighted to be a stranger and pilgrim on the earth; I felt a disposition 
 in me never to have anything to do with this world. The character given 
 of some of the ancient people of God, in Heb. xi. 13, was very pleasing to 
 me, They confessed that they were pilgrims and strangers on the earth, 
 by their daily practice; and O that I could always do so! Spent some 
 considerable time in a pleasant grove, in prayer and meditation. Oh it 
 is sweet to be thus weaned from friends, and from myself, and dead to 
 the present world, that so I may live wholly to and upon the blessed God ! 
 Saw myself little, low, and vile in myself. In the afternoon, preached at 
 Bethlehem, from Deut. viii. 2. God helped me to speak to the hearts of 
 dear Christians. Blessed be the Lord for this season : I trust they and I 
 shall rejoice on this account, to all eternity. Dear Mr. Bellamy came in 
 while I was making the first prayer, (being returned home from a journey ;) 
 and after meeting, we walked away together, and spent the evening in 
 sweetly conversing on divine things, and praying together, with sweet and 
 tender love to each other, and retired to rest with our hearts in a serious 
 spiritual frame. 
 
 " Oct. 23. Somewhat perplexed and confused. Rode this day from 
 Bethlehem to Simsbury. Lord s day, Oct. 24. Felt so vile and unworthy, 
 that I scarce knew how to converse with human creatures. Oct. 25. [At 
 Turkey Hills.] In the evening, I enjoyed the divine presence, in secret 
 prayer. It was a sweet and comfortable season to me; my soul longed 
 for the living God: enjoyed in sweet solemnity of spirit, and longing 
 desire after the recovery of the divine image in my soul. Then shall 
 I be satisfied when I shall awake in God s likeness, and never before. 
 
 " Oct. 26. [At WestSuffield.] Underwent the most dreadful distresses, 
 under a sense of my own unworthiness. It seemed to me, that I deserved 
 rather to be driven out of the place, than to have anybody treat me with 
 any kindness, or come to hear me preach. And verily my spirits were so 
 depressed at this time, (as at many others,) that it was impossible I should 
 treat immortal souls with faithfulness. I could not deal closely and faith 
 fully with them, I felt so infinitely vile in myself. O what dust and ashes 
 I am, to think of preaching the gospel to others ! Indeed, I never can be 
 faithful for one moment, but shall certainly daub with untempered 
 mortar, if God do not grant me special help. In the evening, I went to 
 the meeting-house, and it looked to me near as easy for one to rise out oc 
 the grave and preach, as for me. However, God afforded me som" l f i 
 and power, both in prayer and sermon ; and was pleased to lift me up, 
 
MEMO IKS OF DKAIXEKD. 43 
 
 and show me that he could enable me to preach. O the wonderful good 
 ness of God to so vile a sinner ! Returned to my quarters; and enjoyed 
 some sweetness in prayer alone, and mourned that I could not live more 
 to God. 
 
 " Oct. 27. I spent the forenoon in prayer and meditation ; was not a 
 little concerned about preaching in the afternoon 5 felt exceedingly with 
 out strength, and very helpless indeed; and went into the meeting-house, 
 ashamed to see any come to hear such an unspeakable worthless wretch. 
 However, God enabled me to speak with clearness, power, and pungency. 
 But there was some noise and tumult in the assembly, that I did not well 
 like; and I endeavored to bear public testimony against it with modera 
 tion and mildness through the current of my discourse. In the evening, 
 was enabled to be in some measure thankful, and devoted to God." 
 
 y 
 
 During the several succeeding days we have a record like 
 this : some seasons of dejection, mourning for being so des 
 titute of the exercises of grace, longing to be delivered from 
 sin, pressing after more knowledge of God, seasons of sweet 
 consolation, precious and intimate converse with God in se 
 cret prayer, sweetness of Christian conversation, etc. Rode 
 from Suffield, to Eastbury, Hebron, and Lebanon. 
 
 "Nov. 4. [At Lebanon.] Saw much of my nothingness most of this 
 day: but felt concerned that I had no more sense of my insufficiency and 
 unworthiness. O it is sweet lying in the dust ! But it is distressing to feel 
 in my soul that hell of corruption, which still remains in me. In the 
 afternoon, had a sense of the sweetness of a strict, close and constant 
 devotedness to God, and my soul was comforted with his consolations. 
 My soul felt a pleasing, yet painful concern, lest I should spend some 
 moments without God. O may I always live to God ! In the evening, I 
 was visited by some friends, and spent the time in prayer, and such con 
 versation as tended to our edification. It was a comfortable season to my 
 soul : I felt an intense desire to spend every moment for God. God is 
 unspeakably gracious to me continually. In times past, he has given me 
 inexpressible sweetness in the performance of duty. Frequently my soul 
 has enjoyed much of God ; but has been ready to say, Lord, it is good 
 to be here ; and so to indulge sloth while I have lived on the sweetness 
 of my feelings. But of late, God has been pleased to keep my soul hungry 
 almost continually; so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain. 
 When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of him the more insatiable, 
 and my thirstings after holiness the more unquenchable : and the Lord 
 will not allow me to feel as though were fully supplied and satisfied, but 
 keeps me still reaching forward. I feel barren and empty, as though I 
 
44 MEMOIRS OF KRAfXERD. 
 
 could not live, without more of God ; I feel ashamed and guilty before 
 him. I see that fhe law is spiritual, but I am carnal. I do not, I can 
 not live to God. Oh for holiness! O for more of God in my soul I Oh 
 this pleasing pain ! It makes my soul press after God ; the language of 
 it is, Then shall I be satisfied, when I awake in God s likeness, but 
 never, never before : and consequently, I am engaged to press towards 
 the mark, day by day. O that I may feel this continual hunger, and not 
 be retarded, but rather animated by every cluster from Canaan, to reach 
 forward in the narrow way, for the full enjoyment and possession of the 
 heavenly inheritance 1 O that I may never loiter in my heavenly journey! " 
 
 These insatiable desires after God and holiness, continued 
 the next two days, with a great sense of his own exceeding un- 
 worthiness, and the nothingness of the things of this world. 
 
 "Lord s day, Nov. 7. [At Millington.] It seemed as if such an unholy 
 wretch as I never could arrive at that blessedness, to be " holy as God is 
 holy." At noon, I longed for sanctification and conformity to God. O 
 that is the all, the all. The Lord help me to press after God for ever. 
 
 " A T ov. 8. Towards night, enjoyed much sweetness in secret prayer, so 
 that my soul longed for an arrival in the heavenly country, the blessed 
 paradise of God. Through divine goodness, I have scarce seen the day 
 for two months, in which death has not looked so pleasant to me, at one 
 time or other of the day, that I could have rejoiced that the present 
 should be my last, notwithstanding my present inward trials and conflicts. 
 I trust the Lord will finally make me a conqueror, and more than a con 
 queror; and that I shall be able to use that triumphant language, O 
 death where is thy sting! And, O grave, where is thy victory ! 
 
 During the next ten days, the following occurs : longing 
 and wrestling to be holy, and to live to God ; a desire that 
 every single thought might be for God ; feeling guilty, that 
 his thoughts were no more swallowed up in God : sweet solem 
 nity and calmness of mind ; submission and resignation to 
 God ; great weanedness from the world ; abasement in the 
 dust ; grief at some vain conversation that was observed , 
 sweetness from time to time in secret prayer, and in convers 
 ing and praying with Christian friends. And every day he 
 appears to have been greatly engaged in the great business 
 of religion, and living to God, without interruption. 
 
 " A T ov. 19. [At New-Haven.] Received a letter from the Rev. Mr. 
 Pemberton, of New-York, desiring me speedily to go down thither, and 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 45 
 
 consult about the Indian affairs in those parts ; and to meet certain 
 gentlemen there who were intrusted with those affairs. My mind was in 
 stantly seized with concern ; so I retired with two or three Christian 
 friends, and prayed : and indeed, it was a sweet time with me. I was 
 enabled to leave myself, and all my concerns with God ; and taking leave 
 of friends, I rode to Ripton, and was comforted in an opportunity to see 
 and converse with dear Mr. Mills." 
 
 In the following days, he was oppressed with the weight 
 of that great affair, about which Mr. Pemberton had written 
 to him but was enabled to " cast his burden on the Lord," and 
 commit himself and all his concerns to him. He continued 
 still in a sense of the excellency of holiness, longings after it, 
 and earnest desires for the advancement of Christ s kingdom 
 in the world and had from time to time sweet comfort in 
 meditation and prayer. 
 
 " Nov. 24. Came to New- York ; felt still much concerned about the 
 importance of my business ; put up many earnest requests to God for his 
 help and direction; was confused with the noise and tumult of the city; 
 but enjoyed little time alone with God ; but my soul longed after him. 
 
 "Nov. 25. Spent much time in prayer and supplication : was examined 
 by some gentlemen, of my Christian experiences, and my acquaintance 
 with divinity, and some other studies, in order to my improvement in that 
 important affair of evangelizing the Heathen;* and was made sensible of 
 my great ignorance and unfitness for public service, I had the most 
 abasing thoughts of myself, I think, that ever I had; I thought myself the 
 worst wretch that ever lived : it hurt me, and pained my very heart, that 
 anybody should show me any respect. Alas ! methought how sadly they 
 are deceived in me! how miserably would they be disappointed if they 
 knew my inside ! O my heart ! And in this depressed condition, I was 
 forced to go and preach to a considerable assembly before some grave 
 and learned ministers ; but felt such a pressure from a sense of my vile- 
 ness, ignorance and unfitness to appear in public, that I was almost over 
 come with it; my soul was grieved for the congregation ; that they should 
 sit there to hear such a dead dog as I preach. I thought myself infinitely 
 indebted to the people, and longed that God would reward them with the 
 rewards of his grace. I spent much of the evening alone." 
 
 * The persons referred to, were the Correspondents in New- York, New- Jersey, and 
 Pennsylvania, of the Society in Scotland for propagating Christian knowledge ; to whom 
 was committed the management of their affairs in those parts, and who were now met at 
 New-York. 
 
46 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Conflicts, Delays, and final settling down to Work. 
 
 "Nov. 26, 1742. Had still a sense of my great vileness, and en 
 deavored as much as I could to keep alone. O what a nothing, what 
 dust and ashes am I ! Enjoyed some peace and comfort in spreading my 
 complaints before the God of all grace. 
 
 " Nov. 27. Committed my soul to God with some degree of comfort ; 
 left New York about nine in the morning ; came away with a distressing 
 sense still of my unspeakable unworthiness. Surely I may well love all 
 my brethren ; for none of them all is so vile as I: whatever they do out 
 wardly, yet it seems to me none is so conscious of so much guilt before 
 God. O my leanness, my barrenness; my carnality, and past bitterness, 
 and want of a gospel temper ! These things oppress my soul. Rode 
 from New- York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and most of the way con 
 tinued lifting up my heart to God for mercy and purifying grace : and 
 spent the evening much dejected in spirit. 
 
 " Dec. I. My soul breathed after God, in sweet spiritual and longing 
 desires of conformity to him ; my soul was brought to rest itself and all, 
 on his rich grace, and felt strength and encouragement to do or suffer any 
 thing that divine providence should allot me. Rode about twenty miles 
 from Stratfield to Newtown." 
 
 During the nine days following he went a journey from 
 Newton to Haddam, his native town ; and after staying there 
 some days, came to Southbury. In his account of the exer 
 cises of his mind, during this time, are such things as these : 
 frequent turns of dejection ; a sense of his vileness, empti 
 ness, and an unfathomable abyss of desperate wickedness in 
 his heart, attended with a conviction that he had never seen 
 but little of it ; bitterly mourning over his barrenness, being 
 greatly grieved that he could not live to God, to whom he 
 owed his all ten thousand times, crying out, " My leanness 
 my leanness ! " a sense of the meetness and suitableness of 
 his lying in the dust beneath the feet of infinite majesty ; 
 
MEMOIRS OF LRAIXF.RD. 
 
 47 
 
 fervency and ardor in prayer ; longing to live to God ; being 
 afflicted with some impertinent, trifling conversation that he 
 heard ; but enjoying sweetness in Christian conversation. 
 
 " Dec. n. Conversed with a clear friend, to whom I had thought of 
 giving a liberal education, and being at the whole charge of it, that he 
 might be fitted for the gospel ministry.* I acquainted him with my 
 thoughts in that matter, and so left him to consider of it, till I should see 
 him again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, came to Mr. Bellamy s lodgings, 
 and spent the evening with him in sweet conversation and prayer. We 
 recommended the concern of sending my friend to college to the God of 
 all grace. Blessed be the Lord for this evening s opportunity together. 
 
 "Lord s day, Dec. 12. I felt, in the morning, as if I had little or no 
 power either to pray or to preach; and felt a distressing need of divine 
 help. I went to meeting trembling ; but it pleased God to assist me in 
 prayer and sermon. I think my soul scarce ever penetrated so far into 
 the immaterial world, in any one prayer that I ever made, nor were my 
 devotions ever so free from gross conceptions and imaginations framed 
 from beholding material objects. I preached with some sweetness, from 
 Matt. vi. 33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, etc.; and in the after 
 noon, from Rom. xv. 30. And now I beseech you, brethren, etc. There 
 was much affection in the assembly. This has been a sweet Sabbath to 
 me ; and blessed be God, I have reason to think that my religion is be 
 come more spiritual, by means of my late inward conflicts. Amen. May 
 I aways be willing that God should use his own methods with me ! 
 
 "Dec. 13. Joined in prayer with Mr. Bellamy; and found sweetness 
 and composure in parting with him, as he went a journey. Enjoyed 
 some sweetness through the day; and just at night rode down to Wood- 
 bury. 
 
 "Dec. 14. Some perplexity hung on my mind ; I was distressed last 
 night and this morning for the interest of Zion, especially on account of 
 the false appearances of religion, that do but rather breed confusion, es 
 pecially in some places. I cried to God for help, to enable me to bear 
 testimony against those things, which, instead of promoting, do but hin- 
 
 * BRAINERD, having now undertaken the business of a missionary to the Indians, and 
 expecting to spend the remainder of his life among them, and having some estate left him 
 by his father, and thinking he should have no occasion for it among them, (though after 
 wards, as he told me, he found himself mistaken, set himself to think which way he 
 might spend it most for the glory of God ; and no way presenting to his thoughts, where 
 in he could do more good with it, than by being at the charg2 of deucating some young 
 man for the ministry, he fixed upon the person here spoken of. Accordingly he was 
 soon put to learning; and BRAINERD continued to be at the charge of his education 
 from year to year, so long as he lived, which was till he was carried through his third 
 year in college. 
 
4 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 der the progress of vital piety. In the afternoon, rode down to South- 
 bury ; and conversed again with my friend about the important affair of 
 his pursuing the work of the ministry; and he appeared much inclined to 
 devote himself to that work, if God should succeed his attempts to 
 qualify himself for so great a work. In the evening I preached from I 
 Thess. iv. 8. He therefore that despiseth, etc, and endeavored, though 
 with tenderness, to undermine false religion. The Lord gave me some 
 assistance ; but, however, I seemed so vile, I was ashamed to be seen 
 when I came out of the meeting-house. 
 
 " Dec. 15. Enjoyed something of God to-day, both in secret and in 
 social prayer ; but was sensible of much barrenness and defect in duty, 
 as well as my inability to help myself for the time to come, or to perform 
 the work and business I have to do. Afterwards, felt much of the sweet 
 ness of religion, and the tenderness of the gospel-temper. I found a dear 
 love to all mankind, and was much afraid lest some motion of anger or 
 resentment should, some time or other, creep into my heart. Had some 
 comforting, soul-refreshing discourse with dear friends, just as we took 
 our leave of each other ; and supposed it might be likely we should not 
 meet again till we came to the eternal world.* I doubt not, through 
 grace, but that some of us shall have a happy meeting there, and bless 
 God for this season, as well as many others. Amen. 
 
 " Dec. 16. Rode down to Derby; and had some sweet thoughts on 
 the road ; especially on the essence of our salvation by Christ, from these 
 words, Thou shalt call his name Jesus, etc. Dec. 17. Spent much 
 time in sweet conversation on spiritual things with dear Mr. Humphreys. 
 Rode to Ripton; spent some time in prayer with dear Christian friends. 
 Dec. 18. Spent much time in prayer in the woods; and seemed raised 
 above the things of the world: my soul was strong in the Lord of hosts ; 
 but was sensible of great barrenness. 
 
 "Lord s day, Dec. 19. At the sacrament of the Lord s supper I 
 seemed strong in the Lord ; and the world, with all its frowns and 
 flatteries, in a great measure disappeared, so that my soul had nothing to 
 do with them; and I felt a disposition to be wholly and for ever the 
 Lord s. In the evening enjoyed something of the divine presence ; had 
 a humbling sense of my vileness, barrenness and sinfulness. Oh, it 
 wounded me to think of the misimprovement of time ! God be merciful 
 to me a sinner. Dec. 20. Spent this day in prayer, reading, and writing ; 
 and enjoyed some assistance, especially in correcting some thoughts on 
 a certain subject ; but had a mournful sense of my barrenness. 
 
 * It had been determined by the Commissioners, that he should go to the Indians 
 living near the Forks of Delaware river and on Susquehannah river. Pa ; which being 
 far off, and where he would be exposed to many hardships and dangers, was the occasion 
 of his taking leave of his friends in this manner. % 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 49 
 
 " DM. 21. Had a sense of my insufficiency for any public work and 
 business, as well as to live to God. I rode over to Derby, and preached 
 there. It pleased God to give me very sweet assistance and enlargement, 
 and to enable me to speak with a soft, tender power and energy. We 
 had afterwards a comfortable evening in singing and prayer. God 
 enabled me to pray with as much spirituality and sweetness as I have 
 done for some time; my mind seemed to be unclothed of sense and 
 imagination, and was in a measure let into the immaterial world of spirits. 
 This day was, I trust, through infinite goodness, made very profitable to 
 a number of us, to advance our souls in holiness and conformity to God ; 
 the glory be to him for ever. Amen. How blessed is it to grow more 
 and more like God. 
 
 " Dec. 22. Enjoyed some assistance in preaching at Ripton ; but my 
 soul mourned within me for my barrenness. Dec. 23. Enjoyed, I trust, 
 the presence of God this morning in secret. Oh, how divinely sweet is it 
 to come into the secret of his presence, and abide in his pavilion! Took 
 an affectionate leave of friends, not expecting to see them again for a very 
 considerable time, if ever in this world. Rode with Mr. Humphreys to 
 his house in Derby; spent the time in sweet conversation; my soul was 
 refreshed and sweetly melted with divine things. Oh that I was always 
 consecrated to God! Near night, I rode to New-Haven, and there 
 enjoyed some sweetness in prayer and conversation, with some dear 
 Christian friends. My mind was sweetly serious and composed; but 
 alas ! I too much lost the sense of divine things. 
 
 "Lord s Day, Dec. 26. Felt much sweetness and tenderness in pray 
 er, especially my whole soul seemed to love my worst enemies, and was 
 enabled to pray for those that are strangers and enemies to God, with a 
 great degree of softness and pathetic fervor. In the evening rode from 
 New-Haven to Brantford, after I had kneeled down and prayed with a 
 number of dear Christian friends in a very retired place in the woods, 
 and so parted. 
 
 "Dec. 27. Enjoyed a precious season indeed; had a sweet melting 
 sense of divine things, of the pure spirituality of the religion of Christ 
 Jesus. In the evening, I preached from Matt. vi. 33. But seek ye first, 
 etc., with much freedom, and sweet power and pungency : the presence 
 of God attended our meeting. Oh, the sweetness, the tenderness I felt 
 in my soul ! If ever I felt the temper of Christ, I had some sense of it 
 now. Blessed be my God, I have seldom enjoyed a more comfortable 
 and profitable day than this. Oh, that I could spend all my time for 
 God ! Dec. 28. Rode from Brantford to Haddam. In the morning 
 my clearness and sweetness in divine things continued : but afterwards 
 my spiritual life sensibly declined." 
 
50 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 The next twelve days, he was for the most part extremely 
 dejected, and distressed and was evidently very much under 
 the power of melancholy. There are from day to day most 
 bitter complaints of exceeding vileness, and corruption ; an 
 amazing load of guilt, unworthiness, even to creep on God s 
 earth, everlasting uselessness, fitness for nothing, etc. and 
 sometimes expressions even of horror at the thoughts of ever 
 preaching again. But yet, in this time of great dejection, he 
 speaks of several intervals of divine help and comfort. 
 
 "Jan. 14, 1743. My spiritual conflicts to-day were unspeakably dread 
 ful, heavier than the mountains and overflowing floods. I seemed in 
 closed, as it were, in hell itself ; I was deprived of all sense of God, even 
 of the being of a God ; and that was my misery. I had no awful appre 
 hension of God as angry. This was distress, the nearest akin to the 
 clamned s torments, that I ever endured : their torment, I am sure, will 
 consist much in a privation of God, and consequently of all good. This 
 taught me the absolute dependence of a creature upon God the Creator, 
 for every crumb of happiness it enjoys. Oh, I feel that, if there is no 
 God, though I might live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, but all 
 other worlds. I should be ten thousand times more miserable than a rep 
 tile. My soul was in such anguish I could not eat ; but felt as I suppose 
 a poor wretch would that is just going to the place of execution. I was 
 almost swallowed up with anguish, when I saw people gathering to 
 gether to hear me preach. However, I went in that distress to the house 
 of God, and found not much relief in the first prayer: it seemed as if God 
 would let loose the people upon me to destroy me; nor were the thoughts 
 of death distressing to me, like my own vileness. Lut afterwards in my 
 discourse from Deut. viii. 2. God was pleased to give me some freedom 
 and enlargement, some power and spirituality ; and I spent the evening 
 somewhat comfortably." 
 
 "Jan. 19. [At Canterbury.] In the afternoon preached a lecture at 
 the Meeting-house ; felt some tenderness, and somewhat of the gospel 
 temper ; exhorted the people to love one another, and not to set up their 
 own frames as a standard by which to try all their brethren. But was 
 3 much oppressed, most of the day, with a sense of my own badness, inward 
 impurity, and unspeakable corruption. Spent the evening in tender, 
 Christian conversation. Jan. 20. Rode to my brother s house between 
 Norwich and Lebanon | and preached in the evening to a number of peo 
 ple: enjoyed neither freedom nor spirituality, but saw myself exceeding 
 unworthy. Jan. 21. Had great inward conflicts; enjoyed but little 
 comfort. Went to see Mr. Williams of Lebanon, and spent several 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 5 1 
 
 hours with him ; and was greatly delighted with his serious, deliberate, 
 and impartial way of discourse about religion. 
 
 " Lord^s Day Jan. 23. I scarce ever felt myself so unfit to exist as 
 now : saw I was not worthy of a place among the Indians, where I am 
 going, if God permit : thought I should be ashamed to look them in the 
 face, and much more to have any respect shown me there. Indeed I felt 
 myself banished from the earth, as if all places were too good for such a 
 wretch. I thought I should be ashamed to go among the very savages of 
 Africa ; I appeared to myself a creature fit for nothing, neither heaven 
 nor earth. None know, but those who feel it, what the soul endures 
 that is sensibly shut out from the presence of God : alas ! it is more bit 
 ter than death. 
 
 11 Jan. 26. Preached to a pretty large assembly at Mr. Fish s meeting 
 house: insisted on humility and steadfastness in keeping God s com 
 mands ; and that through humility we should prefer one another in love, 
 and not make our own frame the rule by which we judge others. I felt 
 sweetly calm, and full of brotherly love : and never more free from party 
 spirit. I hope some good will follow ; that Christians will be freed from 
 false joy, and party zeal, and censuring one another." 
 
 On Thursday, after considerable time spent in prayer and 
 Christian conversation, he rode to New London. 
 
 "Jan. 28. Here I found some fallen into extravagancies ; too much 
 carried away with a false zeal and bitterness. O, the want of a gospel tem 
 per is greatly to be lamented. Spent the evening in conversing about 
 some points of conduct in both ministers and private Christians ; but did 
 not agree with them. God had not taught them with briars and thorns to 
 be of a kind disposition towards mankind." 
 
 On Saturday he went to East-Haddam, and spent some 
 days there during which he speaks of feeling weanedness 
 from the world, a sense of the nearness of eternity, special 
 assistance in praying for the enlargement of Christ s kingdom, 
 times of spiritual comfort, etc. 
 
 " Feb. 2. Preached my farewell sermon last night, at the house of 
 an aged man, who had been unable to attend on the public worship 
 for some time. This morning spent the time in prayer, almost 
 wherever I went ; and having taken leave of friends I set out on 
 my journey towards the Indians ; though I was to spend some 
 time at East- Hampton, Long Island, by leave of the commissioners 
 who employed me in the Indian affair;* and being accompanied by 
 
 * The winter was not adjudged to be a convenient season to go out into the wilderness, 
 and enter on the hardships to which he must there be exposed. 
 
52 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 a messenger from East-Hampton, we travelled to Lyme. On the road 
 I felt an uncommon pressure of mind ; I seemed to struggle hard for some 
 pleasure in something here below, and seemed loth to give up all for gone ; 
 saw I was evidently throwing myself into all hardships and distresses in 
 my present undertaking, I thought it would be less difficult to lie down 
 in the grave; but yet I chose to go, rather than stay. Came to Lyme 
 that night." 
 
 He waited the next two days for a passage over the sound 
 and spent much of the time in inward conflicts and dejection, 
 but had some comfort. On Saturday he crossed the sound 
 and travelled to East-Hampton. And the seven following 
 days he spent there, for the most part, under extreme dejec 
 tion and gloominess of mind with great complaints of dark 
 ness, ignorance, etc. Yet his heart appears to have been 
 constantly engaged in the great business of religion, much 
 concerned for the interest of religion in East Hampton, and 
 praying and laboring much for it. 
 
 " Feb. 12. Enjoyed a little more comfort; was enabled to meditate 
 with some composure of mind ; and especially in the evening, found my 
 soul more refreshed in prayer, than at any time of late; my soul seemed 
 to take hold of God s strength, and was comforted with his consola 
 tions. O, how sweet are some glimpses of divine glory ! how strengthen 
 ing and quickening ! 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. fj. At noon, under a great degree of discourage 
 ment ; knew not how it was possible for me to preach in the afternoon. 
 I was ready to give up all for gone ; but God was pleased to assist me in 
 some measure. In the evening my heart was sweetly drawn out after God, 
 and devoted to him. 
 
 "Feb. 15. Early in the clay I felt some comfort; afterwards I walked 
 into a neighboring grove, and felt more as a stranger on earth, I think, 
 than ever before ; dead to any of the enjoyments of the world, as if I had 
 been dead in a natural sense. In the evening had divine sweetness in 
 secret duty ; God was then my portion, and my soul rose above those 
 deep waters, into which I have sunk so low of late. My soul then cried 
 for Zion, and had sweetness in so doing. 
 
 " Feb. 17. In the morning, found myself comfortable, and rested on 
 God in some measure. Preached this day at a little village belonging to 
 East-Hampton ; and God was pleased to give me his gracious presence 
 and assistance, so that I spake with freedom, boldness, and some power. 
 In the evening spent some time with a dear Christian friend; and felt 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINRRD. 53 
 
 serious, as on the brink of eternity. My soul enjoyed sweetness in lively 
 apprehension of standing before the glorious God: prayed with my dear 
 friend with sweetness, and discoursed with the utmost solemnity. And, 
 truly it was a little emblem of heaven itself. I find my soul is more re 
 fined and weaned from a dependence on my frames and spiritual feelings. 
 
 " Feb. 18. Felt somewhat sweetly most of the day, and found access 
 to the throne of grace. Blessed be the Lord for any intervals of heavenly 
 delight and composure, while I am engaged in the field of battle. Oh, 
 that I might be serious, solemn, and always vigilant, while in an evil 
 world ! Had some opportunity alone to-day, and found some freedom in 
 study. O, I long to live to God \ 
 
 " Feb. 19. Was exceeding infirm to-day, greatly troubled with pain 
 in my head and dizziness, scarce able to sit up. However, enjoyed some 
 thing of God in prayer, and performed some necessary studies. I ex 
 ceedingly longed to die ; and yet, through divine goodness, have felt very 
 willing to live, for two or three days past. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. 20. I was perplexed on account of my careless 
 ness ; thought I could not be suitably concerned about the important 
 work of the day, and so was restless with my easiness. Was exceeding 
 infirm again to-day ; but the Lord strengthened me, both in the outward 
 and inward man, so that I preached with some life and spirituality, es 
 pecially in the afternoon, wherein I was enabled to speak closely against 
 selfish religion ; that loves Christ for his benefits, but not for himself." 
 
 During the next fortnight, it appears that for the most 
 part he enjoyed much spiritual peace and comfort. In his 
 diary are expressed such things as these : mourning over in 
 dwelling sin, and unprofitableness ; deadness to the world ; 
 longing after God, and to live to his glory ; heart melting de 
 sires after his eternal home ; fixed reliance on God for his 
 help ; experience of much divine assistance, both in the pri 
 vate and public exercises of religion ; inward strength and 
 courage in the service of God ; very frequent refreshment, 
 consolation, and divine sweetness in meditation, prayer, 
 preaching, and Christian conversation. And it appears by his 
 account, that this space of time was filled up with great dili 
 gence and earnestness in serving God, in study, prayer, medi 
 tation, preaching and privately instructing and counselling. 
 
 " March 7. This morning when I arose, I found my heart go forth 
 after God in longing desires of conformity to him, and in secret prayer 
 
54 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 found myself sweetly quickened and drawn out in praises to God for all 
 he had clone to and for me, and for all my inward trials and distresses of 
 late. My heart ascribed glory, glory, glory to the blessed God ! and bid 
 welcome to all inward distress again, if God saw meet to exercise me with 
 it. Time appeared but an inch long, and eternity at hand ; and I thought 
 I could with patience and cheerfulness bear anything for the cause of 
 God ; for I saw that a moment would bring me to a world of peace and 
 blessedness. My soul, by the strength of the Lord, rose far above this 
 lower world, and all the vain amusements and frightful disappointments 
 of it. Afterwards, had some sweet meditation on Genesis v. 24. And 
 Enoch walked with God, etc. This was a comfortable day to my soul. 
 
 " March. 9. Endeavored to commit myself, and all my concerns to 
 God. Rode sixteen miles to Montauk,* and had some inward sweetness 
 on the road ; but somewhat of flatness and deadness after I came 
 there and had seen the Indians. I withdrew and endeavored to pray, but 
 found myself awfully deserted and left, and had an afflicting sense of my 
 vilencss and meanness. However, I went and preached from Is. liii. 10. 
 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him, etc. Had some assistance ; and 
 I trust somewhat of the divine presence was among us. In the evening, 
 I again prayed and exhorted among them, after having had a season alone, 
 wherein I was so pressed with the blackness of my nature, that I thought 
 it was not fit for me to speak so much as to Indians." 
 
 The next day he returned to East Hampton ; was exceed 
 ing infirm in body, through the remaining part of the week but 
 had assistance and enlargment in study and religious exercises, 
 and inward sweetness, and breathing after God. 
 
 " Lord s day March 13. At noon, I thought it impossible for me to 
 preach, by reason of bodily weakness, and inward deadness. In the first 
 prayer, I was so weak that I could hardly stand ; but in the sermon God 
 strengthened me, so that I spake near an hour and a half with sweet free 
 dom, clearness, and some tender power from Gen. v. 24. And Enoch 
 walked with God. I was sweetly assisted to insist on a close walk with 
 God, and to leave this as my parting advice to God s people here, that 
 they should walk with God. May the God of all grace succeed my poor 
 labors in this place 
 
 " March 14. In the morning was very busy in preparation for my 
 journey, and was almost continually engaged in ejaculatory prayer. About 
 ten, took leave of the dear people of East-Hampton ; my heart grieved 
 and mourned, and rejoiced at the same time ; rode near fifty miles to a 
 
 * Montauk is in the east er.d of Long-Island, and was then inhabited chiefly by Indians. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 55 
 
 part of Brook-Haven, and lodged there, and had refreshing conversation 
 with a Christian friend." 
 
 In two days more, he reached New York ; but complains 
 of much desertion and deadness on the road. He stayed one 
 day in New York, and on Friday went to Mr. Dickinson s at 
 Elizabeth Town. His complaints are the same as on the two 
 preceding days. 
 
 "March 19. Was bitterly distressed under a sense of my ignorance, 
 darkness, and umvorthiness ; got alone, and poured out my complaint to 
 God in the bitterness of my soul. In the afternoon, rode to Newark, and 
 had some sweetness in conversation with Mr. Burr,* and in praying to 
 gether. O blessed be God for ever and ever for any enlivening and 
 quickening seasons. 
 
 Lord s day, March 20. Preached in the forenoon : God gave me 
 some assistance and sweetness, and enabled me to speak with real tender 
 ness, love and impartiality. In the evening preached again ; and of a 
 truth, God was pleased to assist a poor worm. Blessed be God, I was 
 enabled to speak with life, power, and desire of the edification of God s 
 people, and with some power to sinners. In the evening, I felt spiritual 
 and watchful, lest my heart should by any means be drawn away from 
 God. O when shall I come to that blessed world, where every power of 
 my soul will be incessantly and eternally wound up in heavenly employ 
 ments and enjoyments, to the highest degree ! " 
 
 On Monday, he went to Woodbridge, where he speaks of 
 his being with a number of ministers ;f and, the day following 
 of his travelling part of the way towards New York. On 
 Wednesday, he came to New York. On Thursday he rode 
 near fifty miles, from New York to North Castle. On Friday, 
 went to Danbury. Saturday to New Milford. On the Sab 
 bath he rode five or six miles to the place near Kent in Con 
 necticut, called Scaticocke, where dwell a number of Indians, $ 
 and preached to them. On Monday being detained by the 
 rain, he tarried at Kent. On Tuesday, he rode from Kent to 
 
 * Afterwards President Burr, of Nassua Hall or Princeton College. 
 
 1 These ministers were the Correspondents who now met at Woodbridge, and gave 
 Brainerd new directions. Instead of sending him to the Indians at the Forks at Delaware, 
 as before intended, they ordered him to go to the Indians at Kaunaumeek; a place in the 
 province of New York, in the woods between Stockbridge and Albany. 
 
 % The same Indians which he mentions in his Diary, August 12, 1742. 
 
^ 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 Salisbury. Wednesday, he went to Sheffield. Thursday, 
 March 31, he went to Mr. Sergeant s at Stockbridge. He 
 was dejected and very disconsolate, through the main of this 
 journey from New Jersey to Stockbridge ; and especially on 
 the last day his mind was overwhelmed with peculiar gloom 
 and melancholy. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 57 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 A year at Kaunaumeek. Life in the Wilderness among Savages. Travels, Trials, 
 Tribulations and Triumphs. Ordination by Presbytery at Newark, N. J. Leaves 
 Kaunaumeek on a Journey to New England 
 
 " April i, 1743. I rode to Kaunaumeek, near twenty miles from 
 Stockbridge, where the Indians live with whom I am concerned, and there 
 lodged on a little heap of straw. I was greatly exercised with inward 
 trials and distresses all day ; and in the evening, my heart was sunk, and 
 I seemed to have no God to go to. Oh that God would help me ! " 
 
 The next five days, he was for the most part in a dejected, 
 depressed state of mind, and sometimes extremely so. He 
 speaks of God s " waves and billows rolling over his soul ; " 
 and of his being ready sometimes to say, " Surely his mercy 
 is clean gone forever, and he will be favorable no more ; " 
 and says, the anguish he endured, was nameless and incon 
 ceivable ; but at the same time speaks thus concerning his 
 distresses, " What God designs by all my distresses, I know 
 not ; but this I know, I deserve them all, and thousands 
 more." He gives an account of the Indians kindly receiving 
 him, and being seriously attentive to his instructions. 
 
 * April 7. Appeared to myself exceedingly ignorant, weak, helpless, 
 unworthy, and altogether unequal to my work. It seemed to me, that I 
 should never do any service, or have any success among the Indians. My 
 soul was weary of my life ; I longed for death, beyond measure. When 
 I thought of any godly soul departed, my soul was ready to envy him his 
 privilege, thinking, O when will my turn come? must it be years first? 
 But I know these ardent desires, at this and other times, rose partly for 
 want of resignation to God under all miseries ; and so were but impatience. 
 Towards night, I had the exercise of faith in prayer, and some assistance 
 in writing. Oh that God would keep me near him ! 
 
 " April^>. \Vas exceedingly pressed under a sense of my pride, sel 
 fishness, bitterness, and party spirit, in times past, while I attempted to 
 promote the cause of God. Its vile nature and dreadful consequences 
 
58 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 appeared in such odious colors to me, that my very heart was pained. I 
 saw how poor souls stumbled over it into everlasting destruction, that I 
 was constrained to make that prayer in the bitterness of my soul, O 
 Lord, deliver me from blood-guiltiness. I saw my desert of hell on this 
 account. My soul was full of inward anguish and shame before God that 
 
 I had spent so much time in conversation tending only to promote a 
 party-spirit. I saw that I had not suitably prized mortification, self-denial, 
 resignation under all adversities, meekness, love, candor, and holiness of 
 heart and life ; and this day was almost wholly spent in such bitter, and 
 soul-afflicting reflections on my past frames and conduct. Of late, I 
 have thought much of having the kingdom of Christ advanced in the 
 world ; but now I saw I had enough to do within myself. The Lord be 
 merciful to me a sinner, and wash my soul ! 
 
 " April 9. Remained much in the same state as yesterday, excepting 
 that the sense of my vileness was not so quick and acute. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 10. Rose early in the morning, and walked out 
 and spent a considerable time in the woods, in prayer and meditation. 
 Preached to the Indians, both forenoon and afternoon. They behaved 
 soberly in general ; two or three in particular appeared under some 
 religious concern; with whom I discoursed privately; and one told me, 
 that her heart had cried, ever since she had heard me preach first 
 
 " April 12. Was greatly oppressed with grief and shame, reflecting on 
 my past conduct, my bitterness and party zeal. I was ashamed, to think 
 that such a wretch as I had ever preached. Longed to be excused from 
 that work. And when my soul was not in anguish and keen distress, 
 
 I 1 felt senseless as a beast before God, and felt a kind of guilty amuse 
 ment with the least trifles ; which still maintained a kind of stifled horror 
 of conscience, so that I could not rest any more than a condemned male 
 factor. 
 
 "April 13. My heart was overwhelmed within me ! I verily thought 
 that I was the meanest, vilest, most helpless, guilty, ignorant, benighted 
 creature living. And yet I knew what God had done for my soul, at the 
 same time, though sometimes I was assaulted with damping doubts and 
 fears, whether it was impossible for such a wretch as I to be in a state of 
 grace. April 15. In the forenoon, very disconsolate. In the after 
 noon, preached to my people, and was a little encouraged in some hopes 
 that God might bestow mercy on their souls. Felt somewhat resigned 
 to God under all dispensations of his providence. 
 
 "April 16. Still in the depths of distress. In the afternoon, preached 
 to my people ; but was more discouraged with them than before ; feared 
 that nothing would ever be done for them to any happy effect. I retired, 
 and poured out my soul to God for mercy ; but without any sensible relief. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAJNL RD. 59 
 
 Soon after came an Irishman and a Dutchman, with a design, as they said 
 to hear me preach the next day; but none can tell how I felt, to hear their 
 profane talk. O I longed that some dear Christian knew my distress. I 
 got into a kind of hovel, and there groaned out my complaint to God ; 
 and withal felt more sensible gratitude and thankfulness to God, that he 
 had made me to differ from these men, as I knew through grace he had. 
 
 Lord s day April, 17. In the morning, was again distressed as soon 
 as I awaked, hearing much talk about the world, and the things of it. I 
 perceived that the men were in some measure afraid of me ; and I dis 
 coursed about sanctifying the Sabbath, if possible to solemnize their 
 minds ; but when they were at a little distance, they again talked freely 
 about secular affairs. O I thought what a hell it would be, to live with 
 such men to eternity! The Lord gave me some assistance in preaching, 
 all day, and some resignation, and a small degree of comfort in prayer, at 
 night. 
 
 " April 19. In the morning, I enjoyed some sweet repose and rest in 
 God ; felt some strength and confidence in him; and my soul was in some 
 measure refreshed and comforted. Spent most of the day in writing, and 
 had some exercise of grace, sensible and comfortable. My soul seemed 
 lifted above the deep waters, wherein it has been so long almost 
 drowned; felt some spiritual longings and breathings of soul after God; 
 and found myself engaged for the advancement of Christ s kingdom in my 
 own soul. 
 
 * April 20. Set apart this day for fasting and prayer, to bow my 
 soul before God for the bestowment of divine grace; especially that all 
 my spiritual afflictions, and inward distresses might be sanctified to my 
 soul. And endeavored also to remember the goodness of God to me the 
 year past, this day being my birthday. Having obtained help of God, I 
 have hitherto lived, and am now arrived at the age of twenty-five years. 
 My soul was pained to think of my barrenness and deadness; that I have 
 lived so little to the glory of the eternal God. I spent the day in the 
 woods alone, and there poured out my complaint to God. Oh that God 
 would enable me to live to his glory for the future ! 
 
 " April 21. Spent the forenoon in reading and prayer, and found my 
 self engaged ; but still much depressed in spirit under a sense of my vile- 
 ness, and unfitness for any public service. In the afternoon, I visited my 
 people, and prayed and conversed with some about their souls concerns ! 
 and afterwards found some ardor of soul in secret prayer. O that I might 
 grow up into the likeness of God ! 
 
 " A/ril 22. Spent the day in study, reading, and prayer; and felt a 
 little relieved of my burden, that has been so heavy of late. But still was 
 in some measure oppressed ; and had a sense of barrenness. O my lean- 
 
60 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 ness testifies against me ! my very soul abhors itself for its unlikeness to 
 God, its inactivity and sluggishness. When 1 have done all, alas, what 
 an unprofitable servant am I ! My soul groans to see the hours of the day 
 roll away, because I do not fill them in spirituality and heavenly-minded- 
 ness. And yet I long that they should speed their pace, to hasten me to 
 my eternal home, where I may fill up all my moments, through eternity, 
 for God and his glory." 
 
 On Saturday and Sunday, his melancholy again pre 
 vailed ; he complained of his ignorance, stupidity, and sense 
 lessness ; while yet he seems to have spent the time with the 
 utmost diligence, in study, in prayer, in instructing and 
 counseling the Indians. On Monday, he sunk into the 
 deepest melancholy ; so that he supposed he never spent a 
 day in such distress in his life ; not in fears of hell (which, 
 he says, he had no pressing fear of) but a distressing sense 
 of his own vileness. On Tuesday, he had some relief. 
 Wednesday, he kept as a day of fasting and prayer, but 
 in great distress. The three days next following, his mel 
 ancholy continued, but in a less degree, and with intervals 
 of comfort. On the last of these days, he wrote the follow 
 ing letter to his brother John, then a student at Yale Col 
 lege. 
 
 " KAUNAUMEEK, April 30, 1743. 
 
 " DEAR BROTHER : 
 
 " I should tell you, I long to see you, but my own experience has 
 taught me, that there is no happiness, and plenary satisfaction to be en 
 joyed in earthly friends, though ever so near and dear, or in any other en 
 joyment, that is not God himself. Therefore, if the God of all grace be 
 pleased graciously to afford us each his presence and grace, that we may 
 perform the work, and endure the trials he calls us to, in a most distress 
 ing tiresome wilderness, till we arrive at our journey s end ; the local dis 
 tance, at which we are held from each other, at present is a matter of no 
 great moment or importance to either of us. But alas ! the presence of 
 God is what I want. I live in the most lonely melancholy desert, about 
 eighteen miles from Albany ; for it was not thought best that I should go 
 to Delaware River, as I believe I hinted to you in a letter from New- 
 York, I board with a poor Scotchman ; his wife can talk scarce any 
 English. My diet consists mostly of hasty-pudding, boiled corn, and 
 bread baked in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and butter. My 
 lodging is a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards a little way from 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 6 1 
 
 the ground ; for it is a log room, without any floor, that I lodge in. My 
 work is exceedingly hard and difficult ; I travel on foot a mile and a half, 
 the worst of ways, almost daily, and back again ; for I live so far from my 
 Indians. I have not seen an English person this month. These and many 
 other circumstances, equally uncomfortable, attend me ; and yet my spirit 
 ual conflicts and distresses, so far exceed all these, that I scarce think of 
 them, or hardly observe that I am not entertained in the most sumptuou. 1 . 
 manner. The Lord grant that I may learn to endure hardness, as a 
 good soldier of Jesus Christ ! 
 
 " As to my success here, I cannot say much as yet. The Indians seem 
 generally kind, and well disposed towards me, are mostly very attentive 
 to my instructions, and seem willing to be taught further. Two or three, 
 I hope, are under some convictions ; but there seems to be little of the 
 special workings of the divine Spirit among them yet; which gives me 
 many a heart-sinking hour. Sometimes I hope that God has abundant 
 blessings in store for them and me ; but at other times I am so over 
 whelmed with distress, that I cannot see how his dealings with me are 
 consistent with covenant love and faithfulness: and I say, Surely his 
 tender mercies are clean gone for ever. But however, I see that I needed 
 all this chastisement already : It is good for me, that I have endured 
 these trials, and have hitherto little or no apparent success. Do not be 
 discouraged by my distresses. I was under great distress, at Mr. Pomroy s, 
 when I saw you last ; but God has been with me of a truth, since that; 
 he helped me sometimes sweetly at Long-Island, and elsewhere. But let 
 us always remember, that we must through much tribulation, enter into 
 God s eternal kingdom of rest and peace. The righteous are scarcely 
 saved: it is an infinite wonder that we have well grounded hopes of being 
 saved at all. For my part, I feel the most vile of any creature living; 
 and I am sure sometimes, there is not such another existing on this side 
 hell. Now all you can do for me, is, to pray incessantly that God would 
 make me humble, holy, resigned, and heavenly minded, by all my trials. 
 * Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Let us run, 
 wrestle, and fight, that we may win the prize, and obtain that complete 
 happiness, to be holy, as God is holy. So wishing and praying that 
 you may advance in learning and grace, and be fit for special service for 
 God, I remain your affectionate brother, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 " Lord s day, May i. Was at Stockbridge to-day. In the forenoon, 
 had some relief and assistance; though not so much as usual. In the 
 afternoon, felt poorly in body and soul ; while I was preaching, seemed 
 to be rehearsing idle tales, without the least life, fervor, sense or comfort; 
 and especially afterwards at the sacrament, my soul was filled with con 
 fusion, and the utmost anguish that ever I endured, under the feeling of 
 
62 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 * """" 
 
 my inexpressible vileness and meanness. It was a most bitter and dis 
 tressing season to me, by reason of the view I had of my own heart, and 
 the secret abominations that lurk there ; I thought that the eyes of all 
 in the house were upon me, and I dared not look anyone in the face; for 
 it verily seemed as if they saw the vileness of my heart, and all the sins I 
 had ever been guilty of. And if I had been banished from the presence 
 of all mankind, never to be seen any more, or so much as thought of, 
 still I should have been distressed with shame ; and I should have been 
 ashamed to see the most barbarous people on earth, because I was viler, 
 and seemingly more brutishly ignorant than they. I am made to possess 
 the sins of my youth. 
 
 " May 10. Was in the same state, as to my mind, that I have been 
 in for some time; extremely oppressed with a sense of guilt, pollution, 
 and blindness : The iniquity of my heels hath compassed me about : the 
 sins of my youth have been set in order before me ; they have gone over 
 my head, as a heavy burden, too heavy for me to bear. Almost all the 
 actions of my life past, seem to be covered over with sin and guilt ; and 
 those of them that I performed in the most conscientious manner, now 
 fill me with shame and confusion, that I cannot hold up my face. O, the 
 pride, selfishness, hypocrisy, ignorance, bitterness, party zeal and the 
 want of love, candor, meekness, and gentleness, that have attended my 
 attempts to promote religion and virtue ; and this when I have reason to 
 hope I had real assistance from above, and some sweet intercourse from 
 heaven ! But alas, what corrupt mixtures attended my best duties!" 
 
 The next seven days, his gloom and distress continued 
 for the most part, but he had some turns of relief and spirit 
 ual comfort. He gives an account of his spending part of 
 this time in hard labor, to build himself a little cottage to 
 live in amongst the Indians, in which he might be by him 
 self ; having, it seems hitherto lived with a poor Scotchman, 
 as he observes in the letter just now given ; and afterwards, 
 before his own house was habitable, he lived in a wigwam 
 among the Indians. 
 
 "May 18. My circumstances are such, that I have no comfort of any 
 kind, but what I have in God. I live in the most lonesome wilderness ; 
 have but one single person to converse with that can speak English.* 
 
 * This was his interpreter, an ingenious young Indian, belonging to Stockbridge, 
 whose name was John Wauwaumpequunnaunt. He had been instructed in the Christian 
 religion, by Mr. Sergeant ; had lived with the Rev. Mr. Williams, ol Long Meadow, 
 and been instructed by him, and understood both English and Indian very well, and 
 wrote a good hand 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 63 
 
 Most of the talk I hear, is either Highland Scotch, or Indian. I have 
 no fellow-Christian to whom I may unbosom myself, or lay open my 
 spiritual sorrows ; with whom I may take sweet counsel in conversation 
 about heavenly things, and join in social prayer. I live poorly with re 
 gard to the comforts of life : most of my diet consists of boiled corn, 
 hasty-pudding, etc. I lodge on a bundle of straw, my labor is hard and 
 extremely difficult, and I have little appearance of success, to comfort 
 me. The Indians have no land to live on, but what the Dutch people 
 lay claim to ; and these threaten to drive them off. They have no regard 
 to the souls of the poor Indians ; and by what I can learn, they hate me 
 because I come to preach to them. But that which makes all my diffi 
 culties grievous to be borne, is, that God hides his face from me. 
 
 " May 19. Spent most of this day in close study : but was sometimes 
 so distressed that I could think of nothing but my spiritual blindness, 
 ignorance, pride, and misery. O I have reason to make that prayer, 
 Lord, forgive my sins of youth, and former trespasses. 
 
 " May 20. Was much perplexed some part of the day ; but towards 
 night, had some comfortable meditations on Is. xl. I. Comfort ye, Com 
 fort ye, etc., and enjoyed some sweetness in prayer. Afterwards, my 
 soul rose so far above the deep waters, that I dared to rejoice in God. I 
 saw that there was sufficient matter of consolation in the blessed God." 
 
 The next nine days, his burdens were for the most part 
 alleviated, but with variety ; at some times, having considera 
 ble consolation ; and at others, being more depressed. The 
 next day, he set out on a journey to New Jersey, to consult 
 the commissioners who employed him about the affairs of 
 his mission.* He journey in four days; and arrived at Mr. 
 Burr s in Newark on Thursday. In great part of his jour 
 ney, he was in the depths of melancholy, under distresses like 
 those already mentioned. On Friday, he rode to Elizabeth- 
 town ; and on Saturday to New York ; and from thence on 
 his way homewards as far as White Plains. There he spent 
 the Sabbath, and had considerable degrees of divine consola 
 tion and assistance in public services. On Monday, he rode 
 about sixty miles to New Haven. There he attempted a 
 reconciliation with the Faculty of the college ; and spent 
 
 * His business with the commissioners now was, to obtain orders for them to set up 
 a school among the Indians at Knunaumeek, and that his interpreter might be appointed 
 the schoolmaster, which was accordingly done. 
 
64 MEMOIRS OF BRAIA ERD. 
 
 this week in visiting his friends in those parts, and in his 
 journey homewards, till Saturday, in a pretty comfortable 
 frame of mind. On Saturday, in his way from Stockbridge 
 to Kaunaumeek, he was lost in the woods, and lay all night 
 in the open air ; but happily found his way in the morning, 
 and came to his Indians on Lord s day, June 12, and had 
 greater assistance in preaching among them than ever before, 
 since his first coming among them. 
 
 From this time forward he was the subject of various 
 frames and exercises of mind : in the general, much after the 
 same manner as hitherto, from his first coming to Kaunau 
 meek till he got into his own house, (a little hut, which he 
 made chiefly with his own hands, by long and hard labor,) 
 which was near seven weeks from this time. The great part 
 of this time, he was dejected and depressed with melan 
 choly ; sometimes extremely ; his melancholy operating in 
 like manner as related in times past. How it was with him 
 in those dark seasons, he himself further describes in his 
 diary for July 2, in the following manner : 
 
 " My soul is, and has for a long time been in a piteous condition, 
 wading through a series of sorrows, of various kinds. I have been so 
 crushed down sometimes with a sense of my meanness and infinite un- 
 worthiness, that I have been ashamed that any, even the meanest of my 
 fellow-creatures, should so much as spend a thought about me ; and have 
 wished sometimes, while traveling among the thick brakes, to drop, as 
 one of them, into everlasting oblivion. In this case, sometimes I have 
 almost resolved never again to see any of my acquaintance : and really 
 thought, I could not do it and hold up my face ; and have longed for the 
 remotest region, for a retreat from all my friends, that I might not be 
 seen or heard of any more. Sometimes the consideration of my ignor 
 ance has been a means of my great distress and anxiety. And especially 
 my soul has been in anguish with fear, shame, and guilt, that ever I had 
 preached, or had any thought that way. Sometimes my soul has been in 
 distress on feeling some particular corruptions rise and swell like a 
 mighty torrent, with present violence ! having, at the same time, ten 
 thousand former sins and follies presented to view, in all their blackness 
 and aggravations. And these, while destitute of most of the conven 
 iences of life, and I may say, of all the pleasures of it; without a friend 
 to communicate any of my sorrows to, and sometimes without any place 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 65 
 
 of retirement, where I may unburden my soul before God, which has 
 greatly contributed to my distress. Of late, more especially, my great 
 difficulty has been a sort of carelessness, a kind of regardless temper of 
 mind, whence I have been disposed to indolence and trifling : and this 
 temper of mind has constantly been attended with guilt and shame ; so 
 that sometimes I have been in a kind of horror, to find myself so unlike 
 the blessed God. I have thought I grew worse under all my trials ; and 
 nothing has cut and wounded my soul more than this. O, if I am one or 
 God s chosen, as I trust through infinite grace I am, I find of a truth, 
 that the righteous are scarcely saved. " 
 
 It is apparent, that one main occasion of that distressing 
 gloominess of mind which he was so much exercised with at 
 Kaunaumeek, was reflection on his past errors and misguided 
 zeal at college, in the beginning of the late religious commo 
 tions. And therefore he repeated his endeavors this year 
 for reconciliation with the governors of the college, whom he 
 had at that time offended. Although he had been at New 
 Haven, in June, this year, and attempted a reconciliation, as 
 mentioned already ; yet, in the beginning of July, he made 
 another journey thither, and renewed his attempt, but still in 
 vain. 
 
 Although he was much dejected, most of the time, yet he 
 had many intermissions of his melancholy, and some seasons 
 of comfort, sweet tranquility and resignation of mind, and 
 frequent special assistance in public services, as appears in 
 his diary. The manner of his relief from his sorrow, once 
 in particular, is worthy to be mentioned in his own words. 
 
 July 25. Had little or no resolution for a life of holiness ; was 
 ready almost to renounce my hopes of living to God. And O how dark 
 it looked, to think of being unholy for ever ! This I could not endure. 
 The cry of my soul was, Psal. Ixv. 3. Iniquities prevail against me. 
 But I was in some measure relieved by a comfortable meditation on God s 
 eternity, that he never had a beginning. Whence I was led to admire 
 his greatness and power, in such a manner, that I stood still, and praised 
 the Lord for his own glories and perfections ; though I was (and if I 
 should for ever be) an unholy creature, my soul was comforted to appre 
 hend an eternal, infinite, powerful, holy God. 
 
 "fitly 30. Just at night, moved into my own house, and lodged there 
 
66 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 that night ; found it much better spending the time alone than in the 
 wigwam where I was before. 
 
 "Lord s Day, July 31. Felt more comfortably than some days past. 
 Blessed be the Lord, who has now given me a place of retirement. Oh 
 that I may find God in it, and that he would dwell wiih me for ever ! 
 
 " Aug. i. Was still busy in further labors on my house. Felt a little 
 of the sweetness of religion, and thought that it was worth while to follow 
 after God through a thousand snares, deserts, and death itself. Oh that 
 I might always follow after holiness, that I may be fully conformed to 
 God! Had some degree of sweetness in secret prayer, though I had 
 much sorrow. 
 
 "Aug. 2. Was still laboring to make myself more comfortable, with 
 regard to my house and lodging. Labored under spiritual anxiety : It 
 seemed to me that I deserved to be thrust out of the world ; yet found 
 some comfort in committing my cause to God It is good for me to be 
 afflicted, that I may die wholly to this world, and all that is in it. 
 
 " Aug. 3. Spent most of the day in writing. Enjoyed some sense of 
 religion. Through divine goodness I am now uninterruptedly alone ; 
 and find my retirement comfortable. I have enjoyed more sense of di 
 vine things within a few days last past, than for some time before. I 
 longed after holiness, humility and meekness ; Oh that God would en 
 able me to pass the time of my sojourning here in his fear, and always 
 live to him ! 
 
 " Aiig, 4. Was enabled to pray much through the whole day ; and 
 through divine goodness found some intenseness of soul in the duty, as I 
 used to do, and some ability to persevere in my supplications. I had 
 some apprehensions of divine things which afforded me courage and res 
 olution. It is good, I find, to persevere in attempts to pray, if I cannot 
 pray with perseverance, i. e. continue long in my addresses to the divine 
 Being. I have generally found, that the more I do in secret prayer, the 
 more I have delighted to do, and have enjoyed more of a spirit of prayer: 
 and frequently have found the contrary, when with journeying or other 
 wise I have been much deprived of retirement. A seasonable, steady 
 performance of secret duties in their proper hours, and a careful improve 
 ment of all time, filling up every hour with some profitable labor, either 
 of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means of spiritual peace and bold 
 ness before God. Christ, indeed, is our peace, and by him we have 
 boldness of access to God ; but a good conscience, void of offence, is an 
 excellent preparation for an approach into the divine presence. There 
 is a difference between self-confidence or a self-righteous pleasing of our 
 selves as with our own duties, attainments, and spiritual enjoyments 
 of which good men are sometimes guilty, and that holy confidence arising 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 67 
 
 from the testimony of a good conscience, which good Hezekiah had, 
 when he says, Remember, O Lord, I beseech thee, how I have walked 
 before thee in truth, and with a perfect heart. Then, says the holy 
 psalmist, shall I not be ashamed when I have respect to all thy com 
 mandments. Filling up our time with and for God, is the way to rise up 
 and lie down in peace." 
 
 The next eight days, he continued for the most part in a 
 very comfortable frame, having his mind fixed and sweetly en 
 gaged in religion ; and more than once blesses God, that he 
 had given him a little cottage,\vhere he might live alone, and 
 enjoy a happy retirement, free from noise and disturbance, 
 and could at any hour of the day lay aside all studies, and 
 spend time in lifting up his soul to God for spiritual blessings. 
 
 "Aug. 13. Was enabled in secret prayer to raise my soul to God 
 with desire and delight. It was indeed a blessed season. I found the 
 comfort of being a Christian ; and counted the sufferings of the present 
 life not worthy to be compared with the glory of divine enjoyments even 
 in this world. All my past sorrows seemed kindly to disappear, and I 
 remembered no more the sorrow, for joy. O, how kindly, and with 
 what a filial tenderness, the soul confides in the Rock of Ages, at such a 
 season, that he will never leave it, nor forsake it, that he will cause 
 all things to work together for its good ! I longed that others should 
 know how good a God the Lord is. My soul was full of tenderness and 
 love, even to the most inveterate of my enemies. I earnestly desired 
 that they should share in the same mercy ; and loved that God should do 
 just as he pleased with me and everything else. I felt peculiarly serious 
 calm, and peaceful, and encouraged to press after holiness as long as I 
 live, whatever difficulties and trials may be in my way. May the Lord 
 always help me so to do ! Amen, and Amen. 
 
 "Lord s day Aug. 14. I had much more freedom in public, than in 
 private. God enabled me to speak with some feeling sense of divine 
 things; but perceived no considerable effect. " Aug. 15. Spent most of 
 the day in labor, to procure something to keep my horse on in the winter. 
 Enjoyed not much sweetness in the morning ; was very weak in body 
 through the day; and thought that this frail body would soon drop into 
 the dust ; and had some very realizing apprehensions of a speedy entrance 
 into another world. In this weak state of body, I was not a little dis 
 tressed for want of suitable food. I had no bread, nor could I get any. 
 I am forced to go or send ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; and 
 sometimes it is mouldy and sour before I eat it, if I get any considerable 
 
68 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 quantity. And then again I have none for some days together, for want 
 of an opportunity to send for it, and cannot find my horse in the woods 
 to go myself; and this was my case now; but through divine goodness I 
 had some Indian meal, of which I made little cakes, and fried them. Yet 
 I felt contented with my circumstances, and sweetly resigned to God. In 
 prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and blessed God as much for my pres 
 ent circumstances, as if I had been a king; and thought that I found a 
 disposition to be contented in any circumstance >. Blessed be God. " 
 
 The rest of this week, he was exceedingly weak in body, 
 and much exercised with pain ; yet obliged from day to day 
 to labor hard to procure fodder for his horse. Except some 
 part of the time, he was so very ill, that he was neither able 
 to work nor study ; but speaks of longings after holiness and 
 perfect conformity to God. He complains of enjoying but 
 little of God : yet he says, that little was better to him, than 
 all the world besides. In his diary for Saturday, he says, he 
 was somewhat melancholy and sorrowful in mind ; and adds, 
 "I never feel comfortably, but when I find my soul going 
 forth after God. If I cannot be holy I must necessarily be 
 miserable for ever." 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 21. Was much straitened in the forenoon exercise ; 
 my thoughts seemed to be all scattered to the ends of the earth. At 
 noon, I fell down before the Lord, groaned under my vileness, barrenness, 
 and deadness ; and felt as if I was guilty of soul murder, in speaking to 
 immortal souls in such a manner as I had then done. In the afternoon, 
 God was pleased to give me some assistance, and I was enabled to set 
 before my hearers the nature and necessity of true repentance. After 
 wards, had some small degree of thankfulness. Was very ill and full of 
 pain in the evening ; and my soul mourned that I had spent so much time 
 to so little profit 
 
 "Aug. 22. Spent most of the day in study? and found my bodily 
 strength in a measure restored. Had some intense and passionate breath 
 ings of soul after holiness, and very clear manifestations of my utter in 
 ability to procure, or work it in myself; it is wholly owing to the power 
 of God. O, with what tenderness the love and desire of holiness fills 
 the soul 1 I wanted to wing out of mvself to God, or rather to get a con 
 formity to him : but, alas ! I cannot add to my stature in grace one cubit. 
 However, my soul can never leave striving for it ; or at least groaning, 
 that it cannot strive for it, and obtain more purity of heart. At night I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 69 
 
 spent some time in instructing my poor people. Oh that God would pity 
 their souls ! 
 
 " Aug. 23. Studied in the forenoon, and enjoyed some freedom. In 
 the afternoon, labored abroad ; endeavored to pray ; but found not much 
 sweetness or intenseness of mind. Towards night was very weary, and 
 tired of this world of sorrow ; the thoughts of death and immortality ap 
 peared very desirable, and even refreshed my soul. Those lines turned 
 in my mind with pleasure : 
 
 Come death, shake hands ; I ll kiss thy bands; 
 Tis happiness for me to die. 
 What! -dost thou think, that I will shrink? 
 I ll go to immortality. 
 
 In evening prayer, God was pleased to draw near my soul, though very 
 sinful and unworthy ; so that I was enabled to wrestle with God, and to 
 persevere in my requests for grace. I poured out my soul for all the 
 world, friends and enemies. My soul was concerned, not so much for 
 souls as such, but rather for Christ s kingdom, that it might appear in the 
 world, that God might be known to be God, in the whole earth. And O 
 my soul abhorred the very thought of a party in religion ! Let the truth 
 of God appear, wherever it is : and God have the glory for ever. Amen. 
 This was indeed, a comfortable season. I thought I had some small 
 taste of, and real relish for the enjoyments and employments of the upper 
 world. O that my soul was more attempered to it ! 
 
 "Aug. 24. Spent some time, in the morning, in study and prayer. 
 Afterwards was engaged in some necessary business abroad. Towards 
 night, found a little time for some particular studies. I thought, if God 
 should say , Cease making any provision for this life, for you shall in a 
 few days go out of time into eternity, my soul would leap for joy. Oh 
 that I may both desire to be dissolved, to be with Christ, and likewise 
 4 wait patiently all the days of my appointed time till my change come ! 
 But, alas ! I am very unfit for the business and blessedness of heaven. 
 Oh for more holiness! 
 
 "Aug. 25. Part of the day was engaged in studies ; and part in labor 
 abroad. I find it is impossible to enjoy peace and tranquility of mind, 
 without a careful improvement of time. This is really an imitation of 
 God and Christ Jesus : My Father worketh hitherto, and I work, says 
 our Lord. But still if we would be like God, we must see that we fill up 
 our time for him. I daily long to dwell in perfect light and love. In the 
 mean time, my soul mourns that I make so little progress in grace, and 
 preparation for the world of blessedness ; I see and know that I am a 
 very barren tree in God s vineyard, and that he might justly say, 4 Cut it 
 
^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 down, etc. Oh that God would make me more lively and vigorous in 
 grace, for his own glory ! Amen. 
 
 " Lord s ttav, Aug. 28. Was much perplexed with some irreligious 
 Dutchmen. All their discourse turned upon the things of the world ; 
 which was no small exercise to my mind. O what a hell it would be to 
 spend an eternity with such men ! Well might David say, I beheld the 
 transgressors, and was grieved. But, adored be God, heaven is a place 
 into which no unclean thing enters. O I long for the holiness of that 
 world! Lord prepare me for it." 
 
 The next day he set out on a journey to New York. Was 
 somewhat dejected the two first days of his journey ; but yet 
 seems to have enjoyed some degrees of the sensible presence 
 of God. 
 
 "Aug. 31. Rode down to Bethlehem ; was in a sweet, serious, and, I 
 hope Christian frame, when I came there. Eternal things engrossed all 
 my thoughts ; and I longed to be in the world of spirits. O how happy 
 is it, to have all our thoughts swallowed up in that world ; to feel one s 
 self a serious, considerate stranger in this world diligently seeking a road 
 through it, the best, the sure road to the heavenly Jerusalem ! 
 
 "Sept. i. Rode to Danbury. Was more dull and dejected in spirit, 
 than yesterday. Indeed, I always feel comfortably, when God realizes 
 death, and the things of another world, to my mind. Whenever my mind 
 is taken off from the things of this world, and set on God, my soul is then 
 at rest." 
 
 He reached New York the next Monday. After tarrying 
 there two or three days, he set out from that city towards New 
 Haven, intending to be there at the Commencement ; and, on 
 Friday, came to Horseneck. He complains much of dull 
 ness, and want of fervor in religion ; but yet, from time to 
 time, speaks of his enjoying spiritual warmth and sweetness 
 in conversation with Christian friends, and assistance in pub 
 lic services. 
 
 "Sept. 70. Rode six miles to Stanwich, and preached to a consider 
 able assembly of people. Had some assistance and freedom, especially 
 towards the close. Endeavored much afterwards in private conversation 
 to establish holiness, humility, meekness, etc., as the essence of true re 
 ligion ; and to moderate some noisy sort of persons, who appeared to me to 
 be actuated by unseen spiritual pride, Alas, into what extremes men in 
 cline to run ! Returned to Horseneck; and felt some seriousness and 
 sweet solemnity in the evening. 
 

 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 " Lord s day, Sept. if. In the afternoon I preached from Tit. iii. 8. 
 This is a faithful saying, and these things etc. I think God never helped 
 me more in painting true religion, and in detecting clearly, and tenderly 
 discountenancing false appearances of religion, wild-fire party-zeal, spir 
 itual pride, etc., as well as a confident dogmatical spirit, and its spring, 
 viz. ignorance of the heart. In the evening, took much pains in private 
 conversation to suppress some confusions, which I perceived were 
 among that people. 
 
 " Sept. 12. Rode to Mr. Mills at Ripton. Had some perplexing 
 hours ; but was some part of the day very comfortable. It is through 
 great trials, I see, that we must enter the gates of Paradise. If my 
 soul could but be holy, that God might not be dishonored, methinks I 
 could bear sorrows. 
 
 "Sept. /j. Rode to New-Haven. Was sometimes dejected; not in 
 the sweetest frame. Lodged at****. Had some profitable Christian 
 conversation. I find, though my inward trials were great, and a life of 
 solitude gives them greater advantage to settle, and penetrate to the very 
 inmost recesses of the soul ; yet it is better to be alone than incumbered 
 with noise and tumult. I find it very difficult maintaining any sense of 
 divine things, while removing from place to place, diverted with new ob 
 jects, and filled with care and business. A settled, steady business, is 
 best adapted to a life of strict religion. 
 
 "Sept. 14. This day I ought to have taken my degree ; [this being 
 Commencement day] but God sees fit to deny it me. And though I was 
 greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with perplexity and confusion, when 
 I should see my classmates take theirs; yet, at the very time, God en 
 abled me with calmness and resignation to say, the will of the Lord be 
 done/ Indeed, through divine goodness, I have scarcely felt my mind 
 so calm, sedate, and comfortable, for some time. I have long feared this 
 season, and expected my humility, meekness, patience, and resignation, 
 would be much tried;* but found much more pleasure and divine comfort, 
 than I expected. Felt spiritually serious, tender and affectionate in 
 private prayer with a dear Christian friend to-day. 
 
 11 Sept. /j. Had some satisfaction in hearing the ministers discourse. 
 It is always a comfort to me, to hear religious and spiritual conversation. 
 O that ministers and people were more spiritual and devoted to God ! 
 
 * His trial was the greater, in that, had it not been for the displeasure of the governors 
 of the college, he would not only on that day have shared with his classmates in the pub 
 lic honors which they then received, but would have appeared at the head of that class; 
 which, if he had been with them, would have been the most numerous of any that ever had 
 graduated at that college. 
 
72 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 Towards night with the advice of Christian friends, I offered the follow 
 ing reflections in writing, to the rector and trustees of the college which 
 are, for substance, the same that I had freely offered the rector before, 
 and intreated him to accept that, if possible I might cut off all occasion 
 of offense, from those who seek occasion. What I offered is as follows : 
 1 Whereas I have said before several persons concerning Mr. Whittel- 
 sey, one of the tutors of Yale College, that I did not believe he had any 
 more grace than the chair I then leaned upon; I humbly confess, that 
 herein I have sinned against God, and acted contrary to the rules of his 
 word, and have injured Mr. Whittelsey. I had no right to make thus 
 free with his character; and had no just reason to say as I did concern 
 ing him. My fault herein was the more aggravated, in that I said this con 
 cerning one who was so much my superior, and one whom I was obliged 
 to treat with special respect and honor, by reason of the relation I stood 
 in to him in the college. Such a manner of behavior, I confess, did not be 
 come a Christian: it was taking too much upon me, and did not savor of 
 that humble respect, which I ought to have expressed towards Mr. Whit 
 telsey. I have long since been convinced of the falseness of those appre 
 hensions, by which I then justified such a conduct. I have often reflected 
 on this act with grief; I hope on account of the sin of it; and am willing 
 to lie low, and be abased before God and man for it I humbly ask the 
 forgiveness of the governors of the college, and of i;he whole society ; but of 
 Mr. Whittelsey in particular. And whereas I have been accused by one 
 person of saying concerning the reverend rector of Yale College, that I 
 wondered he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the scholars 
 that followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, I seriously profess, that I do not 
 remember my saying anything to this purpose. But if I did, which I am 
 not certain I did not, I utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of be 
 havior ; and especially in an undergraduate towards the rector. And I 
 now appear to judge and condemn myself for going once to the separate 
 meeting in New-Haven, a little before I was expelled, though the rector 
 had refused to give me leave. For this, I humbly ask the rector s for 
 giveness. And whether the governors of the college shall ever see cause 
 to remove the academical censure I lie under or no, or to admit me to 
 the privileges I desire, yet I am willing to appear, if they think fit, openly 
 to own, and to humble myself for those things I have herein confessed. 
 
 "God has made me willing to do anything that I can do, consistent 
 with truth, for the sake of peace, and that I might not be a stumbling 
 block to others. For this reason I can cheerfully forego, and give up 
 what I verily believe, after the most mature and impartial search is my 
 right, in some instances. God has given me the disposition, that, if a 
 man has done me an hundred injuries, and I (though ever so much 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINRRD. 
 
 73 
 
 provoked to it) have done him only one, I feel disposed, and heartily 
 willing, humbly to confess my fault to him, and on my knees to ask for 
 giveness of him; though at the same time he should justify himself in all 
 the injuries he has done me, and should only make use of my humble con 
 fession to blacken my character the more, and represent me as the only 
 person guilty ; yea, though he should as it were insult me, and say, he 
 knew all this before, and that I was making work for repentance. 
 Though what I said concerning Mr. Whittelsey was only spoken in private, 
 to a friend or two; and being partly overheard, was related to the rector, 
 and by him extorted from my friends; yet, seeing it was divulged and 
 made public, I was willing to confess my fault therein publicly. But I 
 trust God will plead my cause. " 
 
 I was witness to the very Christian spirit which Brainerd 
 showed at that time ; being then at New-Haven, and one 
 whom he thought fit to consult on that occasion. This was 
 my first opportunity of a personal acquaintance with him.* 
 There truly appeared in him a great degree of calmness and 
 humility ; without the least appearance of rising of spirit for 
 any ill treatment which he supposed he had suffered or the 
 least backwardness to abase himself before them, who as he 
 thought, had wronged him. What he did was without any 
 objection or appearance of reluctance, even in private to his 
 friends, to whom he freely opened himself. Earnest applica 
 tion was made on his behalf to the authority of the college, 
 that he might have his degree then given him ; and particular- 
 
 * [Here begins \hz personal acquaintance of these two remarkable men the one the 
 greatest theologian and preacher of New England, and the other the missionary saint of 
 the Modern Church drawn to each other and their hearts cemented by the common at 
 traction of the Cross. Providence so arranged that, when Brainerd s brief ministry had 
 closed, he should find an asylum and end his self-denying life in the home of the pastor 
 of Northampton, where of all places on earth it was fitting that such a man, after such a 
 life of solitariness and self-denial should die, attended by such gentle, Christian ministries 
 as he there received. And the same gracious Providence that gave to New England in 
 her colonial days these two great apostles of Christian Doctrine and Christian Life, also 
 ordered it that the same pen which wrote the immortal History of the Work of Re- 
 ^mption, The Freedom of the Witt, and a Treatise on ttie Religious Affections, 
 should give to the world, BRAINERD S BIOGRAPHY the simple yet wondrous account 
 of a religious experience, and of a missionary life among the Indians, in the then " wil 
 derness" pan of our land, that should be read with wonder and with tears throughout 
 Christendom, and travel down the centuries on its blessed mission of instructive testi 
 mony. The writer has elsewhere briefly expressed his views as to the singular injustice 
 done to Brainerd by the College authorities, as well as the eminent Christian spirit shown 
 by him under extreme provocation. J. M. S.] 
 
74 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 ly by the Rev. Mr. Burr of Newark, one of the correspondents 
 of the honorable society in Scotland ; he being sent from 
 New Jersey to New-Haven, by the rest of the commissioners, 
 for that end ; and many arguments were used, but without 
 success. Indeed, the governors of the college were so far 
 satisfied with the reflections which Brainerd had made on 
 himself, that they appeared willing to admit him again into 
 college ; but not to give him his degree, till he should have 
 remained there at least twelvemonths, which being contrary 
 to what the correspondents, to whom he was now engaged, 
 had declared to be their mind, he did not consent to it. He 
 desired his degree, as he thought it would tend to his being 
 more extensively useful ; but still when he was denied it, he 
 manifested no disappointment or resentment. The next day 
 he went to Derby ; then to Southbury, where he spent the 
 Sabbath ; and speaks of some spiritual comfort, but com 
 plains much of unfixeclness, and wanderings of mind in re 
 ligion. 
 
 " Sept. 19. In the afternoon, rode to Bethlehem, and there preached. 
 Had some measure of assistance, both in prayer and preaching. I felt 
 serious, kind and tender towards all mankind, and longed that holiness 
 might flourish more on earth. 
 
 "Sept. 20. Had thoughts of going forward on my journey to my 
 Indians; but towards night was taken with a hard pain in my teeth, and 
 shivering cold ; and could not possibly recover a comfortable degree of 
 warmth the whole night following. I continued very full of pain all night; 
 and in the morning had a very hard fever, and pains almost over my whole 
 body. I had a sense of the divine goodness in appointing this to be the 
 place of my sickness, among my friends, who were very kind to me. I 
 should probably have perished, if I had first got home to my own house 
 in the wilderness, where I have none to converse with but the poor, rude, 
 ignorant Indians. Here, I saw, was mercy in the midst of affliction. I 
 continued thus, mostly confined to my bed, till Friday night; very full of 
 pain most of the time; but through divine goodness, not afraid of death. 
 Then the extreme folly of those appeared to me, who put off their turn 
 ing to God till a sick bed. Surely this is not a time proper to prepare 
 for eternity. On Friday evening my pains went off somewhat suddenly. 
 I was exceedingly weak, and almost fainted ; but was very comfortable 
 the night following. These words, (Psal. cxviii. 17.) I shall not die, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 75 
 
 but live, etc., I frequently revolved in my mind, and thought we were 
 to prize the continuation of life, only on this account, that we may show 
 forth God s goodness and works of grace. " 
 
 From this time he gradually recovered and in a few days 
 was able to go forward on his journey ; but it was not till the 
 Tuesday following, that he reached Kaunaumeek. He seems, 
 great part of this time, to have had a very deep and lively 
 sense of the vanity and emptiness of all things here below, 
 and of the reality, nearness, and vast importance of eternal 
 things. 
 
 " Oct. 4. This day rode home to my own house and people. The 
 poor Indians appeared very glad of my return. Found my house and all 
 things in safety. I presently fell on my knees, and blessed God for my 
 safe return, after a long and tedious journey, and a season of sickness in 
 several places where I had been, and after I had been ill myself. God 
 has renewed his kindness to me, in preserving me one journey more. I 
 have taken many considerable journeys since this time last year, and yet 
 God has never suffered one of my bones to be broken, or any distressing 
 calamity to befal me, excepting the ill turn I had in my last journey. I 
 have been often exposed to cold and hunger in the wilderness, where the 
 comforts of life were not to be had: have frequently been lost in the 
 woods; and sometimes obliged to ride much of the night; and once lay 
 out in the woods all night; yet, blessed be God he has preserved me ! " 
 
 In his diary for the next eleven days, are great complaints 
 of distance from God, spiritual pride, corruption, and exceed 
 ing vileness. He once says, his heart was so oppressed with a 
 sense of his pollution, that he could scarcely have the face 
 and impudence (as it then appeared to him) to desire that 
 God should not damn him forever. And at another time, he 
 says, he had so little sense of God, or apprehension and rel 
 ish of his glory and excellency, that it made him more dis 
 posed to kindness and tenderness towards those who are 
 blind and ignorant of God and things divine and heavenly. 
 
 " Lord s day, Oct. 16. In the evening, God was pleased to give me a 
 feeling sense of my own unworthiness ; but through divine goodness such 
 as tended to draw me to, rather than drive me from, God. It filled me 
 with solemnity. I retired alone, (having at this time a friend with me) 
 and poured out my soul to God with much freedom; and yet in anguish, 
 to find myself so unspeakably sinful and unworthy before a holy God. 
 
7 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 Was now much resigned under God s dispensations towards me, though 
 my trials had been very great. But thought whether I could be resigned, 
 if God should let the French Indians come upon me and deprive me of life, 
 or carry me away captive, (though I knew of no special reason then to 
 propose this trial to myself, more than any other ;) and my soul seemed 
 so far to rest and acquiesce in God, that the sting and terror of these 
 things, seemed in a great measure gone. Presently after I came to the 
 Indians, whom I was teaching to sing that evening, I received the follow 
 ing letter from Stockbridge, by a messenger sent on the Sabbath on 
 purpose, which made it appear of greater importance. 
 
 "SiR Just now, we received advices from Col. Stoddard, that there 
 is the utmost danger of a rupture with France. lie has received the 
 same from his Excellency our Governor, ordering him to give notice to 
 all the exposed places, that they may secure themselves the best they can 
 against any sudden invasion. We thought best to send directly to 
 Kaunaumeek, that you may take the most prudent measures for your 
 safety. I am, Sir, etc. 
 
 "I thought, upon reading the contents, it came in a good season ; for 
 my heart seemed fixed on God, and therefore I was not much surprised. 
 This news only made me more serious, and taught me that I must not 
 please myself with any of the comforts of life which I had been prepar 
 ing. Blessed be God, who gave me any intenseness and fervency this 
 evening! 
 
 " Oct. 17. Had some rising hopes, that God would arise and have 
 mercy on Zion speedily. My heart is indeed refreshed, when I have any 
 prevailing hopes of Zion s prosperity. Oh that I may see the glorious 
 day, when Zion shall become the joy of the whole earth ! Truly there is 
 nothing that I greatly value in this lower world." 
 
 On Tuesday, he rode to Stockbridge ; complains of being 
 much diverted, and having but little life. On Wednesday, 
 he expresses a solemn sense of divine things, and a longing 
 to be always doing for God with a friendly frame of spirit. 
 
 " Oct. 20. Had but little sense of divine things this day. Alas, that 
 so much of my precious time is spent with so little of God ! Those are 
 tedious days wherein I have no spirituality. Oct. 21. Returned home to 
 Kaunaumeek: was glad to get alone in my little cottage, and to cry to 
 that God who seeth in secret, and is present in a wilderness. Oct. 22. 
 Had but little sensible communion with God. This world is a dark, 
 cloudy mansion. O when will the Sun of Righteousness shine on my 
 soul without intermission! 
 
 " Lonfs day, Oct. 23. In the morning, I had a little dawn of comfort 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIN ERD. 
 
 77 
 
 arising from hopes of seeing glorious clays in the Church of God ; and 
 was enabled to pray for such a glorious day, with some courage and 
 strength of hope. In the forenoon, treated on the glories of heaven ; in 
 the afternoon, on the miseries of hell, and the danger of going there. 
 Had some freedom and warmth, both parts of the day ; and my people 
 were very attentive. In the evening, two or three came tome under con 
 cern for their souls ; to whom I was enabled to discourse closely, and 
 with some earnestness and desire. Oh that God would be merciful to 
 their poor souls ! " 
 
 He seems, through the whole of this week, to have been 
 greatly engaged to fill tip every inch of time in the service of 
 God, and to have been most diligently employed in study, 
 prayer, and instructing the Indians ; and from time to time, 
 expresses longings of soul after God, and the advancement of 
 his kingdom, and spiritual comfort and refreshment. 
 
 " Lord^s Day, Oct. 30. In the morning, I enjoyed some fixedness of 
 soul in prayer, which was indeed sweet and desirable ; and was enabled 
 to leave myself with God, and to acquiesce in him. At noon, my soul 
 was refreshed with reading Rev. iii. more especially the nth and I2th 
 verses. How my soul longed for that blessed day, when I should dwell in 
 the temple of God, and go no more out of his immediate presence ! 
 
 "Oct. 31. Rode to Kinderhook, about fifteen miles from my resi 
 dence. While riding, I felt some divine sweetness in the thoughts of 
 being a pillar in the temple of God in the upper world, and being no 
 more deprived of his blessed presence, and the sense of his favor, which 
 is better than life. My soul was so lifted up to God, that I could pour 
 out my desires to him, for more grace and further degrees of sanctification, 
 with abundant freedom. How I longed to be more abundantly prepared 
 for that blessedness, with which I was then in some measure refreshed ! 
 Returned home in the evening; but took an extremely bad cold by riding 
 in the night. 
 
 " Nov. i. Was very much disordered in body, and- sometimes full of 
 pain in my face and teeth ; was not able to study much, and had not much 
 spiritual comfort. Alas ! when God is withdrawn, all is gone. Had 
 some sweet thoughts, which I could not but write down, on the design, 
 nature, and end of Christianity. 
 
 " A T ov. 2. Was still more indisposed in body, and in much pain, most 
 of the day. I had not much comfort ; was scarcely able to study at all ; 
 ?.nd still entirely alone in the wilderness. But blessed be the Lord, I am 
 not exposed in the open air ; I have a house, and many of the comforts 
 of life, to support me. I have learned, in a measure, that all good things, 
 
78 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 relating both to time and eternity, come from God. In the evening, I 
 had some degree of quickening in prayer : I think God gave me some 
 sense of his presence. 
 
 " Nffv. 3. Spent this day in secret fasting and prayer, from morning 
 till night. Early in the morning, I had some small degree of assistance 
 in prayer. Afterwards, read the story of Elijah the prophet, I Kings, 
 xvii. xviii. and xix. chapters, and also 2 Kings, ii. and iv. chapters. My 
 soul was much moved, observing the faith, zeal, and power of that holy 
 man ; how he wrestled with God in prayer. My soul then cried with 
 Elisha, Where is the Lord God of Elijah ! O I longed for more faith ! 
 My soul breathed after Cod, and pleaded with him, that a double por 
 tion of that spirit, which was given to Elijah, might rest on me. And 
 that which was divinely refreshing and strengthening to my soul, was, I 
 saw that God is the same that he was in the days of Elijah. Was en 
 abled to wrestle with God by prayer, in a more affectionate, fervent, hum 
 ble, intense, and importunate manner, than I have for many months past. 
 Nothing seemed too hard for God to perform ; nothing too great for me 
 to hope for from him. I had for many months entirely losf all hopes of 
 being made instrumental of doing any special service foi God in the 
 world ; it has appeared entirely impossible, that one so vile should be 
 thus employed for God. But at this time God was pleased to revive this 
 hope. Afterwards read from the iii. chapter of Exodus to the xx. and saw 
 more of the glory and majesty of God discovered in those chapters, than 
 ever I had seen before ; frequently in the mean time falling on my knees, 
 and crying to God for the faith of Moses, and for a manifestation of the 
 divine glory. Especially the iii. and iv. and part of the xiv. and xv. 
 chapters were unspeakably sweet to my soul : my soul blessed God, that 
 he had shown himself so gracious to his servants of old. The xv. chap 
 ter seemed to be the very language which my soul uttered to God in the 
 season of my first spiritual comfort, when I had just got through the Red 
 Sea, by a way that I had no expectation of. O how my soul then rejoiced 
 in God ! And now those things came fresh and lively to my mind ; now 
 my soul blessed God afresh that he had opened that unthought of way to 
 deliver me from the fear of the Egyptians, when I almost despaired of 
 life. Afterwards read the story of Abraham s pilgrimage in the land of 
 Canaan. My soul was melted, in observing his faith, how he leaned on 
 God; how he communed with God ; and what a stranger he was here in 
 the world. After that, read the story of Joseph s sufferings, and God s 
 goodness to him ; blessed God for these examples of faith and patience. 
 My soul was ardent in prayer, was enabled to wrestle ardently for myself, 
 for Christian friends, and for the church of God. And felt more desire 
 to see the power of God in the conversion of souls, than I have done for 
 a long season. Blessed be God for this season of fasting and prayerl 
 May his goodness always abide with me, and draw my soul to him! 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 79 
 
 " Nov. 4. Rode to Kinderhook : went quite to Hudson s river, about 
 twenty miles from my house ; performed some business ; and returned 
 home in the evening to my own house. I had rather ride hard, and 
 fatigue myself to get home, than to spend the evening and night amongst 
 those who have no regard for God." 
 
 The next two days, he was very ill, and full of pain, prob 
 ably through his riding in the night, after a fatiguing day s 
 journey on Tuesday ; but yet seems to have been diligent in 
 business. 
 
 "Nov. 7. This morning the Lord afforded me some special assistance 
 in prayer ; my mind was solemn, fixed, affectionate, and ardent in desires 
 after holiness; felt full of tenderness and love; and my affections seemed 
 to be dissolved into kindness. In the evening, I enjoyed the same com 
 fortable assistance in prayer, as in the morning : my soul longed after God, 
 and cried to him with a filial freedom, reverence and boldness. Oh that 
 I might be entirely consecrated and devoted to God ! 
 
 " A ffv. 10. Spent this day in fasting and prayer alone. In the morn 
 ing, was very dull and lifeless, melancholy and discouraged. But after 
 some time, while reading 2 Kings, xix. my soul was moved and affected: 
 especially reading verse 14, and onward. I saw there was no other way 
 for the afflicted children of God to take, but to go to God with all their 
 sorrows. Hezekiah, in his great distress, went and spread his complaint 
 before the Lord. I was then enabled to see the mighty power of God, 
 and my extreme need of that power, and to cry to him affectionately and 
 ardently for his power and grace to be exercised towards me. Afterwards, 
 read the story of David s trials, and observed the course he took under 
 them, how he strengthened his hands in God ; whereby my soul was 
 carried out after God, enabled to cry to him, and rely upon him, and felt 
 strong in the Lord. Was afterwards refreshed, observing the blessed 
 temper that was wrought in David by his trials : all bitterness and desire 
 for revenge, seemed wholly taken away; so that he mourned for the death 
 of his enemies ; 2 Sam. 5. 17. and iv. 9. ad. fin. Was enabled to bless God, 
 that he had given me something of this divine temper, that my soul freely 
 forgives, and heartily loves my enemies." 
 
 It appears by his diary for some weeks that great part of 
 the time he was very ill and full of pain and yet obliged to 
 be at great fatigues in labor and travelling day and night, 
 and to expose himself in stormy and severe seasons. But 
 he speaks of thirstings of soul after God ; cf his heart being 
 strengthened in God ; of seasons of divine sweetness and 
 

 80 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 comfort ; of his heart being affected with gratitude for 
 mercies, etc. Yet there are many complaints of lifelessness, 
 weakness of grace, distance from God. and great unprofitable 
 ness. But still there appears a constant care from day to 
 day, not to lose time, but to improve it all for God. 
 
 " Lord^s day, Nov. 27. In the evening, I was greatly affected in read 
 ing an account of the very joyful death of a pious gentleman, which 
 seemed to invigorate my soul in God s ways. I felt courageously engaged 
 to pursue a life of holiness and self-denial as long as I live ; and poured 
 out my soul to God for his help and assistance in order thereto. Eternity 
 then seemed near, and my soul rejoiced and longed to meet it. I trust 
 that will be a blessed day which finishes my toil here. 
 
 " Nov. 28. In the evening, I was obliged to spend time in company 
 and conversation which were unprofitable. Nothing lies heavier upon 
 me than the misimprovement of time. Nov. 29. Began to study in In 
 dian tongue, with Mr. Sergeant, at Stockbridge.* Was perplexed for 
 want of more retirement. I love to live alone in my little cottage, where 
 I can spend much time in prayer. 
 
 " N<n>. 30. Pursued my study of Indian : but was very weak and dis 
 ordered in body, and was troubled in mind at the barrenness of the day, 
 that I had done so little for God. I had some enlargement in prayer at 
 night. O a barn, or stable, hedge, or any other place, is truly desirable 
 if God is there ! Sometimes, of late, my hopes of Zion s prosperity, are 
 more raised than they were in the summer. My soul seems to confide in 
 God that he will yet shew forth his salvation to his people, and make Zion 
 the joy of the whole earth. O how excellent is the loving-kindness of 
 the Lord. My soul sometimes inwardly exults at the lively thoughts of 
 what God has already done for his church, and what mine eyes have 
 seen of the salvation of God It is sweet, to hear nothing but spiritual 
 discourse from God s children; and sinners enquiring the way to Zion/ 
 saying, What shall we do ? . Oh that I may see more of this blessed 
 work ! 
 
 " Dec. I. Both morning and evening, I enjoyed some intenseness of 
 soul in prayer, and longed for the enlargement of Christ s kingdom in the 
 world. My soul seems of late, to wait on God for his blessing on Zion. 
 Oh that religion might powerfully revive ! Dec. 2. Enjoyed not so much 
 health of body, or fervor of mind, as yesterday. If the chariot-wheels 
 
 * The commissioners had directed him to spend much time this winter with Mr. Ser 
 geant, to learn the language of the Indians ; which necessitated him very often to ride, 
 backwards and forwards, twenty miles, through the uninhabited woods between Stock- 
 bridge and Kaunaumeek which exposed him to extreme hardship in the severe seasons of 
 the winter. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 8 1 
 
 move with ease and speed at any time, for a short space, yet, by and by, 
 they drive heavily again. Oh that I had the wings of a dove, that I 
 might fly away from sin and corruption, and be at rest with God ! 
 
 " Dec, 3. Rode home to my house and people. Suffered much with 
 extreme cold. I trust, I shall ere long, arrive safe at my journey s end, 
 where my toils shall cease. Lord s day, Dec. 4. Had but little sense of 
 divine and heavenly things. My soul mourns over my barrenness. O 
 how sad is spiritual deadness ! Dec. 5. Rode to Stockbridge. Was al 
 most outdone with the extreme cold. Had some refreshing meditations 
 by the way ; but was barren, wandering, and lifeless, much of the day. 
 Thus my days roll away, with but little done for God ; and this is my 
 burden. Dec. 6. Was perplexed to see the vanity and levity of professed 
 Christians. Spent the evening with a Christian friend, who was able, in 
 some measure, to sympathize with me in my spiritual conflicts. Was a 
 little refreshed to find one with whom I could converse of inward trials, etc. 
 
 "Dec. 7. Spent the evening in perplexity, with a kind of guilty in 
 dolence. When I have no heart or resolution for God, and the duties 
 incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and misimprovement of 
 time. Certainly I ought to be engaged in my work and business, to the 
 utmost extent of my strength and ability. 
 
 " Dec. 8. My mind was much distracted with different affections ; I 
 seemed to be at an amazing distance from God ; and looking round in the 
 world, to see if there was not some happiness to be derived from it. God, 
 and certain objects in the world, seemed each to invite my heart and 
 affections ; and my soul seemed to be distracted between them. I have 
 not been so much beset with the world for a long time ; and that with re 
 lation to some particular objects, to which I thought myself most dead. 
 But even while I was desiring to please myself with anything below, 
 guilt, sorrow, and perplexity attended the first motions of desire. Indeed, 
 I cannot see the appearance of pleasure and happiness in the world, as I 
 used to do : and blessed be God for any habitual deadness to the world. 
 I found no peace, or deliverance, from this distraction and perplexity of 
 mind, till I found access to the throne of grace ; and, as soon as I had 
 any sense of God, and things d;vine, the allurements of the world vanished, 
 and my heart was determined for God. But my soul mourned over mv 
 folly, that I should desire any pleasure, but only in God. God forgive 
 my spiritual idolatry ! " 
 
 The next thirteen days, he appears to have been contin 
 ually in deep concern about the improvement of precious 
 time ; and there are expressions of grief, that he improved 
 time no better ; such as " O what misery do I feel, when my 
 thoughts rove after vanity ! I should be happy if always 
 
g 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 engaged for God ! O wretched man that I am ! " etc. Speaks 
 of his being pained with a sense of his barrenness, perplexed 
 with his wanderings, longing for deliverance from sin, mourn 
 ing that time passed away, and so little was done for God. 
 On Tuesday, December 20, he speaks of his being visited 
 at Kaunaumeek, by some under spiritual concern. 
 
 "Dec. 22. Spent this day alone in fasting and prayer, and reading in 
 God s word the exercises and deliverances of his children. Had, I trust, 
 some exercise of faith, and realizing apprehension of divine power, grace 
 and holiness; and, also, of the unchangeableness of God, that he is the 
 same as when he delivered his saints of old out of great tribulation. My 
 soul was sundry times in prayer enlarged for God s church and people. 
 Oh that Zion might become the joy of the whole earth ! It is better 
 to wait upon God with patience, than to put confidence in anything in 
 this lower world. My soul, wait thou on the Lord; for from him 
 comes thy salvation. 
 
 " Dec. 23. Felt a little more courage and resolution in religion, than 
 at some other times. Dec. 24. Had some assistance and longing desires 
 after sanctification, in prayer this day ; especially in the evening : was 
 sensible of my own weakness and spiritual impotency ; saw plainly; that 
 I should fall into sin, if God of his abundant mercy did not uphold my 
 soul, and withhold me from evil. Oh that God would uphold me by his 
 free Spirit, and save me from the hour of temptation! 
 
 "Lord s day, Dec. 25. Prayed much in the morning, with a feeling 
 sense of my own spiritual weakness and insufficiency for my "duty. God 
 gave me some assistance in preaching to the Indians ; and especially in 
 the afternoon, when I was enabled to speak with uncommon plainness, 
 freedom, and earnestness. Blessed be God for any assistance granted to 
 one so unworthy. Afterwards felt some thankfulness ; but still sensible 
 of barrenness. Spent some time in the evening with one or two persons 
 under spiritual concern, and exhorting others to their duty. 
 
 " Dec. 26. Rode down to Stockbridge. Was very much fatigued 
 with my journey, wherein I underwent great hardships ; was much exposed 
 and very wet by falling into a river. Spent the day and evening without 
 } much sense of divine and heavenly things ; but felt guilty, grieved, and 
 perplexed with wandering, careless thoughts. Dec. 27. Had a small 
 degree of warmth in secret prayer, in the evening ; but, alas ! had but 
 little spiritual life, and consequently but little comfort. Oh, the pressure 
 of a body of death ! 
 
 This day he wrote to his brother John, at Yale college, 
 the following letter : 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 83 
 
 " KAUNAUMEEK, Dec. 27, 1743. 
 
 "DEAR BROTHER: 
 
 " I long to see you, and to know how you fare in your journey through 
 a world of inexpressible sorrow: where we are compassed about with 
 vanity, confusion, and vexation of spirit. I am more weary of life, I 
 think, than ever I was. The whole world appears to me like a huge 
 vacuum, a vast empty space, whence nothing desirable, or at least satis 
 factory, can possibly be derived ; and I long daily to die more and more 
 to it ; even though I obtain not that comfort from spiritual things which 
 I earnestly desire. Worldly pleasures, such as flow from greatness 
 riches, honors, and sensual gratifications, are infinitely worse than none. 
 May the Lord deliver us more and more from these vanities. I have 
 spent most of the fall and winter hitherto in a very weak state of body ; 
 and sometimes under pressing inward trials and spiritual conflicts ; but 
 having obtained help from God, I continue to this day ; and am now 
 somewhat better in health, than I was some time ago. I find nothing jj 
 more conducive to a life of Christianity, than a diligent, industrious, andjj 
 faithful improvement of precious time. Let us then faithfully perform I) 
 that business, which is allotted to us by divine Providence, to the utmost II 
 of our bodily strength, and mental vigor. Why should we sink, and grow 
 discouraged with any particular trials and perplexities, which we are 
 called to encounter in the world? Death and Eternity are just be 
 fore us; a few tossing billows more will waft us into the world of spirits, 
 and we hope, through infinite grace, into endless pleasures, and uninter 
 rupted rest and peace. Let us then run, with patience, the race set 
 before us, Heb. xii. i, 2. And, O, that we could depend more upon 
 the living God, and less upon our own wisdom and strength ! Dear 
 brother, may the God of all grace comfort your heart, and succeed your 
 studies, and make you an instrument of good to his people in your day. 
 This is the constant prayer of 
 
 * Your affectionate brother, 
 
 "DAVID BRAINEKD. 
 
 "Dec. 28. Rode about six miles to the ordination of Mr. Hopkins. 
 At the solemnity I was somewhat affected with a sense of the greatness 
 and importance of the work of a minister of Christ. Afterwards was 
 grieved to see the vanity of the multitude. In the evening, spent a little 
 time with some Christian friends, with some degree of satisfaction; but 
 most of the time, I had rather have been alone. 
 
 "Dec. 29. Spent the day mainly in conversing with friends; yet en 
 joyed little satisfaction, because I could find but few disposed to con 
 verse of divine and heavenly things. Alas, what are the things of this 
 world, to afford satisfaction to the soul ! Near night, returned to Stock- 
 bridge ; in secret, I blessed God for retirement, and that I am not always 
 
8 4 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 exposed to the company and conversation of the world. O that I could 
 live in the secret of God s presence ! 
 
 "Dec. 30. Was in a solemn, devout frame in the evening. Won 
 dered that earth, with all its charms, should ever allure me in the least 
 degree. Oh, that I could always realize the being and holiness of God ! 
 Dec. 31. Rode from Stockbridge home to my house : the air was clear 
 and calm, but as cold as ever I felt it, or nearly. I was in great danger 
 of perishing by the extremity of the season. Was enabled to meditate 
 much on the road. 
 
 " Lord s day, Jn. I, 1744. In the morning, had some small degree of 
 assistance in prayer. Saw myself so vile and unworthy, that I could not 
 look my people in the face, when I came to preach. O my meanness, 
 folly, ignorance, and inward pollution! In the evening, had a little 
 assistance in prayer, so that the duty was delightful, rather than burden 
 some. Reflected on the goodness of God to me in the past year. Of a 
 truth God has been kind and gracious to me, though he has caused me to 
 pass through many sorrows ; he has provided for me bountifully, so that 
 I have been enabled, in about fifteen months past, to bestow to charitable 
 uses about an hundred pounds New England money, that I can now re 
 member.* Blessed be the Lord, that has so far used me as his steward, to 
 distribute a portion of his goods. May I always remember, that all I 
 have comes from God. Blessed be the Lord, that has carried me through 
 all the toils, fatigues, and hardships of the year past, as well as the 
 spiritual sorrows and conflicts that have attended it. O that I could be 
 gin this year with God, and spend the whole of it to his glory, either in 
 life or death ! 
 
 "Jan. 2. Had some affecting sense of my own impotency and 
 spiritual weakness. It is nothing but the power of God that keeps me 
 from all manner of wickedness. I see I am nothing, and can do nothing 
 without help from above. Oh, for divine grace ! In the evening had 
 some ardor of soul in prayer, and longing desires to have God for my 
 guide and safeguard at all times." 
 
 The following letter to his brother Israel, at Haddam, 
 was written this day. 
 
 " KAUVAUMEEK, Jan. 2, 1743-4. 
 
 " MY DEAR BROTHER : 
 
 " There is but one thing that deserves our highest care and most ardent 
 desires ; and that is, that we may answer the great end for which we were 
 made, viz. to glorify that God, who has given us our being and all our 
 
 * Which was, I suppose, to the value of about 85 in our bills of the old tenor, as 
 they now pass. By this, as well as many other things it is manifest that his frequent 
 melancholy did not arise from the consideration of a-iy disadvantage he was laid under to 
 get a living in the world, by his expulsion from the college. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 85 
 
 comforts, and do all the good we possibly can to our fellow-men, while we 
 live in the world. Verily life is not worth the having, if it be not im 
 proved for this noble end and purpose. Yet, alas, how little is this thought 
 of among mankind ! Most men seem to live to themselves without much 
 regard to the glory of God, or the good of their fellow-creatures. They 
 earnestly desire, and eagerly pursue after the riches, the honors, and the 
 pleasures of life, as if they really supposed, that wealth or greatness, or 
 merriment, could make their immortal souls happy. But alas ! what false 
 and delusive dreams are these ! And how miserable will those ere long 
 be who are not awaked out of them, to see that all their happiness con 
 sists in living to God, and becoming " holy, as he is holy ! " Oh, may you 
 never fall into the tempers and vanities, the sensuality and folly of the 
 present world ! You are by divine Providence, left as it were alone in a 
 wide world, to act for yourself : be sure then to remember, that it is a 
 world of temptation. You have no earthly parents to be the means of 
 forming your youth to piety and virtue, by their pious examples, and 
 seasonable counsels ; let this then excite you with greater diligence and 
 fervency to look up to the Father of mercies for grace and assistance 
 against all the vanities of the world. If you would glorify God, or ans 
 wer his just expectations from you, and make your own soul happy in this 
 and the coining world, observe these few directions; though not from a 
 father, yet from a brother who is touched with a tender concern for your 
 present and future happiness. 
 
 " First: Resolve upon, and daily endeavor to practise a life of serious 
 ness and strict sobriety. The wise man will tell you the great advantage 
 of such a life, Eccl. vii. 3. Think of the life of Christ; and when you can 
 find that he was pleased with jesting and vain merriment, then you may 
 indulge in it yourself. 
 
 <; Again: be careful to make a good improvement of preci 
 When you cease from labor, fill up your time in reading, meditation, 
 prayer; and while your hands are laboring, let your heart be employed, 
 much as possible, in divine thoughts. Further ; Take heed that you faith 
 fully perform the business which you have to do in the world, from a re 
 gard to the commands of God ; and not from an ambitious desire of being 
 esteemed better than others. We should always look upon ourselves as 
 God s servants, placed in God s world, to do his work; and accordingly 
 l.:bor faithfully for him; not with a design to grow rich and great, but to 
 glorify God, and to do all the good we possibly can. 
 
 " Again : never expect any satisfaction or happiness from the world. 
 If you hope for happiness in the world hope for it from God, and not from 
 the world. Do not think you shall be more happy if you live to such or 
 such a state in life, if you live to be yourself, to be settled in the world 
 or if you shall gain an estate in it : but look upon it that you shall then be 
 y> when you can be constantly employed for God, and not for your- 
 
 scious time. ^ 
 litation, and 
 mployed, as i 
 
86 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 self; and desire to live in this world, only to do and suffer what God al 
 lots to you. When you can be of the spirit and temper of angels, who 
 are willing to come down into this lower world, to perform what God com 
 mands them, though their desires are heavenly, and not in the least set 
 on earthly things, then you will be of that temper which you ought to 
 have, Col. iii. 2. 
 
 " Once more ; never think that you can live to God by your own power 
 or strength ; but always look to, and rely on him for assistance, yea for all 
 strength and grace. There is no greater truth than this, that we can do 
 nothing of ourselves ; ( John xv. 5. and 2 Cor. iii. 5.) yet nothing but our 
 own experience can effectually teach it us. Indeed, we are a long time in 
 learning, that all our strength and salvation is in God. This is a life 
 which I think no unconverted man can possibly live ; and yet it is a life 
 which every godly soul is pressing after, in some good measure. Let it 
 then be your great concern, thus to devote yourself and your all to God. 
 
 " I long to see you, that I may say much more to you than I now can 
 for your benefit and welfare ; but I desire to commit you to, and leave you 
 with, the Father of mercies, and God of all grace; praying that you may 
 be directed safely through an evil world, to God s heavenly kingdom. 
 * I am your affectionate loving brother, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 "Jan. j. Was employed much of the day in writing ; and spent some 
 time in other necessary employment. But my time passes away so swiftly 
 that I am astonished when I reflect on it, and see how little I do. My 
 state of solitude does not make the hours hang heavy upon my hands. 
 O what reason of thankfulness have I on account of this retirement ! I 
 find, that I do not, and it seems I cannot lead a Christian life, when I am 
 abroad, and cannot spend time in devotion, Christian conversation, and 
 serious meditation, as I should do. Those weeks that I am obliged now 
 to be from home, in order to learn the Indian tongue, are mostly spent in 
 perplexity and barrenness, without much sweet relish of divine things ; 
 and I feel myself a stranger at the throne of grace, for want of more fre 
 quent and continued retirement. When I return home, and give myself 
 to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a new scene opens to my mind, and my 
 soul longs for mortification, self-denial, humility, and divorcement from 
 all the things of the world. This evening, my heart was somewhat warm 
 and fervent in prayer and meditation, so that I was loath to indulge sleep. 
 Continued in those duties till about midnight. 
 
 "Jan. 4. Was in a resigned and mortified temper of mind, much of 
 the day. Time appeared a moment, life a vapor, and all enjoyments as 
 empty bubbles, and fleeting blasts of wind. Jan. 5. Had a humbling 
 and oppressive sense of my unworthiness. My sense of the badness of 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 87 
 
 my own heart filled my soul with bitterness and anguish ; which was ready 
 to sink, as under the weight of a heavy burden. Thin I spent the even 
 ing, till late. Was somewhat intense and ardent in prayer. 
 
 "Jan. 6. Feeling my extreme weakness, and want of grace, the pollu 
 tion of my soul, and danger of temptations on every side, I set apart this 
 day for fasting and prayer, neither eating nor drinking from evening to 
 evening, beseeching God to have mercy on me. My soul intensely longed 
 that the dreadful spots" and stains of sin might be washed away from it. 
 Saw something of the power and all-sufficiency of God. My soul seemed 
 to rest on his power and grace ; longed for resignation to his will, and 
 mortification to all things here below. My mind was greatly fixed on 
 divine things : my resolutions for a life of mortification, continual watch 
 fulness, self-denial, seriousness and devotion, were strong and fixed ; my 
 desires ardent and intense : my conscience tender, and afraid of every 
 appearance of evil. My soul grieved with reflection on past levity, and 
 want of resolution for God. I solemnly renewed my dedication of myself 
 to God, and longed for grace to enable me always to keep covenant with 
 him. Time appeared very short, eternity near ; and a great name, either 
 in or after life, together with all earthly pleasures and profits, but an 
 empty bubble, a deluding dream. 
 
 "Jan. 7. Spent this day in seriousness, with steadfast resolutions for 
 God, and a life of mortification. Studied closely till I felt my bodily 
 strength fail. Felt some degree of resignation to God, with an acquies 
 cence in his dispensations. Was grieved that I could do so little for 
 God before my bodily strength failed. In the evening, though tired, was 
 enabled to continue instant in prayer for some time. Spent the time in 
 reading, meditation, and prayer, till the evening was far spent : was grieved 
 to think that I could not watch unto prayer the whole night. But blessed 
 be God, heaven is a place of continual and incessant devotion, though 
 the earth is dull." 
 
 The six days following, he continued in the same happy 
 frame of mind ; enjoyed the same composure, calmness, resig 
 nation, ardent desire, and sweet fervency of spirit, in a high 
 degree, every day, not one excepted. Thursday, this week, 
 he kept as a day of secret fasting and prayer. 
 
 "Jan. 14. This morning, enjoyed a most solemn season in prayer: 
 my soul seemed enlarged, and assisted to pour out itself to God for grace, 
 and for every blessing I wanted for myself, my dear Christian friends, and 
 for the church of God ; and was so enabled to see Him who is invisible, 
 that my soul rested upon him for the performance of everything I asked 
 agreeable to his will. It was then my happiness to continue instant in 
 
88 MEMOIRS OF BRAJNERD. 
 
 prayer, and I was enabled to continue in it for near an hour. My soul 
 was then strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Longed 
 exceedingly for an angelic holiness and purity, and to have all my thoughts, 
 at all times, employed in divine and heavenly things. O how unspeakably 
 blessed it is, to feel a measure of that rectitude, in which we were at first 
 created! Felt the same divine assistance in prayer sundry times in the 
 clay. My soul confided in God for myself, and for his Zion ; trusted in 
 divine power and grace, that he would do glorious things in his church 
 on earth, for his own glory." 
 
 The next day he speak of some glimpses which he had of 
 the divine glories, and of his being enabled to maintain his 
 resolutions in some measure ; but complains, that he could 
 not draw near to God. He seems to be filled with trembling 
 fears lest he should return to a life of vanity, to please him 
 self with some of the enjoyments of this lower world ; and 
 speaks of his being much troubled, and feeling guilty, that 
 he should address immortal souls with no more ardency and 
 desire of their salvation. On Monday, he rode down to 
 Stockbridge, when he was distressed with extreme cold ; but 
 notwithstanding, his mind was in a devout and solemn frame 
 in his journey. The next four days, he was very ill, probably 
 from the cold in his journey ; yet he spent the time in a 
 solemn manner. On Friday evening, he visited Mr Hopkins ; 
 and on Saturday, rode eighteen miles to Salisbury, where he 
 kept the Sabbath, and enjoyed considerable degrees of God s 
 gracious presence, assistance in duty, and divine comfort and 
 refreshment, longing to give himself wholly to God, to be his 
 forever. 
 
 "Jan. 23. I think I never felt more resigned to God, nor so dead to 
 the world, in every respect, as now ; was dead to all desire of reputation 
 and greatness, either in life, or after death; all I longed for, was to be 
 holy, humble, crucified to the world, etc. 
 
 "Jan. 24. Near noon, rode over to Canaan. In the evening, I was 
 unexpectedly visited by a considerable number of people, with whom I 
 was enabled to converse profitably on divine things ; took pains to describe 
 the difference between a regular and irregular SELF-LOVE ; the one con 
 sisting with a supreme love to God, but the other not ; the former uniting 
 God s glory, and the soul s happiness, that they become one common in 
 terest, but the latter disjoining and separating God s glory and man s 
 
OF BRA1XEXD. 89 
 
 happiness, seeking the latter with a neglect of the former. Illustrated 
 this by that genuine love that is founded between the sexes ; which is 
 diverse from that which is wrought up towards a person only by rational 
 argument, or hope of self-interest. Love is a pleasing passion, it affords 
 pleasure to the mind where it is ; but yet, genuine love is not, nor can be 
 placed on any object with that design of pleasure itself." 
 
 On Wednesday he rode to Sheffield ; the next day, to Stock- 
 bridge and on Saturday, home to Kaunaumeek, though the 
 season was cold and stormy ; which journey was followed with 
 illness and pain. He spent the time while riding, in profitable 
 meditations, and in lifting up his heart to God ; he speaks of 
 assistance, comfort and refreshment; but still complains of 
 barrenness, etc.. His diary for the next five day is full of 
 bitter complaints ; he expresses himself as full of shame and 
 self-loathing for his lifeless temper of mind and sluggishness 
 of spirit, and as being in perplexity, and extremity, and ap 
 pearing to himself unspeakably vile and guilty before God, on 
 account of inward workings of corruption he found in his 
 heart. 
 
 " Feb. 2. Spent this day in fasting and prayer ; seeking the presence and 
 assistance of God, that he would enable me to overcome all my corrup 
 tions, and spiritual enemies. Feb. 3. Enjoyed more freedom and com 
 fort than of late ; was engaged in meditation upon the different whispers 
 of the various powers and affections of a pious mind, exercised with a 
 great variety of dispensations ; and could not but write, as well as meditate, 
 on so entertaining a subject. I hope the Lord gave me some true sense 
 of divine things this day ; but alas, how great and pressing are the remains 
 of indwelling corruption ! I am now more sensible than ever, that God 
 alone is the author and finisher of our faith, /. e. that the whole and 
 every part of sanctification, and every good word, work, or thought, found 
 in me, is the effect of his power and grace ; that, without him, I can do 
 nothing, in the strictest sense, and that, he works in us to will and to do 
 of his own good pleasure, and from no other motive. O how amazing^ 
 it is, that people can talk so much about men s power and goodness, 
 when, if God did not hold us back every moment, we should be devils 
 incarnate! This my bitter experience for several days last past, has 
 abundantly taught me concerning myself. 
 
 " Feb. 4. Enjoyed some degree of freedom and spiritual refreshment; 
 was enabled to pray with some fervency, and longing desires of Zion s 
 prosperity, and my faith and hope seemed to take hold of God, for the 
 
9 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 performance of what I was enabled to plead for. Sanctification in myself, 
 and the ingathering of God s elect, were all my desire ; and the hope of 
 their accomplishment all my joy. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. 5. Was enabled in some measure to rest and con 
 fide in God, and to prize his presence and some glimpses of the light of 
 his countenance, above my necessary food. Thought myself, after the 
 season of weakness, temptation, and desertion I endured last week, to be 
 somewhat like Sampson, when his locks began to grow again. Was 
 enabled to preach to my people with more life and warmth, than I have 
 for some weeks past. 
 
 "Feb. 6. This morning, my soul again was strengthened in God, 
 and found some sweet repose in him in prayer ; longing especially for 
 the complete mortification of sensuality and pride, and for resignation to 
 God s dispensations, at all times, as through grace, I felt it at this time. 
 I did not desire deliverance from any difficulty that attends my circum 
 stances, unless God was willing. O how comfortable is this temper ! 
 Spent most of the day in reading God s word, in writing, and prayer. 
 Enjoyed repeated and frequent comfort and intenseness of soul in prayer 
 through the day. In the evening, spent some hours in private conversa 
 tion with my people; and afterwards felt some warmth in secret prayer. 
 
 "Feb. 7. Was much engaged in some sweet meditations on the 
 powers and affections of the godly soul in the pursuit of their beloved 
 object ; wrote something of the native language of spiritual sensation, in 
 its soft and tender whispers ; declaring, that it now feels and tastes, 
 that the Lord is gracious ; that he is the supreme good, the only soul 
 satisfying happiness : that he is a complete, sufficient, and almighty por 
 tion; saying: Whom have I in Heaven but thee ? and there is none 
 upon earth that I desire beside, this blessed portion. O, I feel that it is 
 heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have me to be I O 
 that my soul were holy, as he is holy I O that it were pure, even as 
 Christ is pure ; and perfect as my Father in heaven is perfect ! These I 
 feel are the sweetest commands in God s book, comprising all others. 
 And shall I break them ! must I break them ! am I under the necessity 
 of it as long as I "live in the world ! O my soul, woe, woe is me, that I am 
 a sinner, because I now necessarily grieve and offend this blessed God, 
 who is infinite in goodness and grace ! O methinks if he would punish 
 me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him : but 
 though I sin continually, yet he continually repeats his kindness to me ! 
 O methinks I could bear any sufferings ; but how can I bear to grieve 
 and dishonor this blessed God! How shall I yield ten thousand times 
 more honor to him ? What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of 
 beings ? O that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service 
 forever! O that I could give up myself to him, so as never more to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXEXD. g l 
 
 attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are not per 
 fectly conformed to him! But, alas, alas! I find I cannot be thus en 
 tirely devoted to God ; I cannot live, and not sin. O ye angels, do ye 
 glorify him incessantly ; and if possible prostrate yourselves lower before 
 the blessed King of heaven ! I long to bear a part with you ; and, if it 
 were possible, to help you. O when we have done all that we can, to 
 all eternity, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part of the 
 homage which the glorious God deserves ! Felt something spiritual, 
 devout, resigned, and mortified to the world, much of the day ; and 
 especially towards and in the evening. Blessed be God, that he enables 
 me to love him for himself. 
 
 "Feb. 8. Was in a comfortable frame of soul, most of the day; 
 though sensible of, and restless under spiritual barrenness. I find that 
 both mind and body are quickly tired with intenseness and fervor in the 
 things of God. O that I could be as incessant as angels in devotion and 
 spiritual fervor. 
 
 " Feb. 9. Observed this day as a day of fasting and prayer, intreating 
 of God to bestow upon me his blessing and grace ; especially to enable 
 me to live a life of mortification to the world, as well as of resignation 
 and patience. Enjoyed some realizing sense of divine power and good 
 ness in prayer, several times ; and was enabled to roll the burden of my 
 self, and friends, and Zion, upon the goodness and grace of God ; but in 
 the general, was more dry and barren than I have usually been of late, 
 upon such occasions. 
 
 " Feb. 10. Was exceedingly oppressed, most of the day, with shame, 
 grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly, as well as present barren 
 ness and coldness. When God sets before me my past misconduct, 
 especially any instances of misguided zeal, it sinks my soul into shame 
 and confusion, makes me afraid of a shaking leaf. My fear is such as 
 the prophet Jeremy complains of, Jer. xx. 10. I have no confidence to 
 hold up my face, even before my fellow worms ; but only when my soul 
 confides in God, and I find the sweet temper of Christ, the spirit of 
 humility, solemnity and mortification, and resignation, alive in my soul. 
 But, in the evening, was unexpectedly refreshed in pouring out my com 
 plaint to God ; my shame and fear was turned into a sweet composure 
 and acquiescence in God. 
 
 "Feb. ii. Felt much as yesterday; enjoyed but little sensible com 
 munion with God. Lord s day, Feb. 12. My soul seemed to confide in 
 God, and to repose itself on him ; and had intense longings after God in 
 prayer. Enjoyed some sweet divine assistance, in the forenoon, in preach 
 ing ; but in the afternoon, was more perplexed with shame, etc. After 
 wards, found some relief in prayer ; loved, as a feeble, afflicted, despised 
 
9 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 creature to cast myself on a God of infinite grace and goodness, hoping 
 for no happiness but from him. 
 
 " Feb 13. Was calm and sedate in morning devotions; and my soul 
 seemed to rely on God. Rode to Stockbridge, and enjoyed some com 
 fortable meditations by the way; had a more refreshing taste and relish 
 of heavenly blessedness, than I have enjoyed for many months past. I 
 have many times, of late, felt as ardent desires of holiness as ever; but 
 not so much sense of the sweetness and unspeakable pleasure of the enjoy 
 ments of heaven. My soul longed to leave earth, and bear a part with 
 angels in their celestial employments. My soul said, Lord it is good to 
 be here ; and it appeared to be better to die, than to lose the relish of 
 these heavenly delights." 
 
 A sense of divine things seemed to continue with him, in 
 a lesser degree, through the next day. On Wednesday, he 
 was, by some discourse which he heard, cast into a melan 
 choly gloom, that operated much in the same manner as his 
 melancholy had formerly done, when he first came to Kaun- 
 aumeek ; the effects of which seemed .to continue in some 
 degree the six following days. 
 
 "Feb. 22. In the morning, had as clear a sense of the exceeding pollu 
 tion of my nature , as ever I remember to have had in my life. I then 
 appeared to myself inexpressibly loathsome and defiled. Sins of child 
 hood, of early youth, and such follies as I had not thought of for years 
 together, as I remember, came now fresh to my view, as if committed but 
 yesterday, and appeared in the most odious colors ; they appeared more 
 in number than the hairs of my head ; yea, they went over my head as 
 a heavy burden. In the evening, the hand of faith seemed to be 
 strengthened in God ; my soul seemed to rest and acquiesce in him, 
 was supported under my burdens, reading the cxxvth psalm ; and found 
 that it was sweet and comfortable to lean on God. 
 
 "Feb. 23. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some assistance. 
 There is a God in heaven who overrules all things for the best ; and this 
 is the comfort of my soul : I had fainted unless I had believed to see the 
 goodness of God in the land of the living, notwithstanding present sor 
 rows. In the evening enjoyed some freedom in prayer, for myself, friends, 
 and the church of God. 
 
 "Feb. 24. Was exceedingly restless and perplexed under a sense of 
 misimprovement of time ; mourned to see time pass away ; felt in the 
 greatest hurry ; seemed to have everything to do, yet could do noth 
 ing, but only grieve and groan under my ignorance, unprofitableness, 
 meanness, the foolishness of my actions and thoughts, the pride and bit- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 93 
 
 terness of some past frames, all which at this time" appeared to me in 
 lively colors, and filled me with shame. I could not compose my mind 
 to any profitable studies, by reason of this pressure. And the reason, I 
 judge, why I am not allowed to study a great part of my time, is, because 
 I am endeavoring to lay in such a stock of knowledge as shall be a self- 
 sufficiency. I know it to be my indispensable duty to study, and qualify 
 myself in the best manner I can for public service : but this is my misery, 
 I naturally study and prepare, that I may consume it upon my lusts of 
 pride and self-confidence. 
 
 "March 2. Was most of the day employed in writing on a divine sub 
 ject. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some small degree of assist 
 ance. But in the evening God was pleased to grant me divine sweetness 
 in prayer ; especially in the duty of intercession. I think, I never felt so 
 much kindness and love to those who, I have reason to think, are my ene 
 mies though at that time I found such a disposition to think the best of 
 all, that I scarce knew how to think that any such thing as enmity and 
 hatred lodged in my soul ; it seemed as if all the world must needs be 
 friends and never prayed with more freedom and delight, for myself, or 
 dearest friend, than I did now for my enemies. 
 
 " March 3. In the morning, spent an hour in prayer, with great intense- 
 ness and freedom, and with the most soft and tender affection towards 
 mankind. I longed that those who, It have reason to think, owe me ill 
 will , might be eternally happy. I seemed refreshing to think of meeting 
 them in heaven, how much soever they had injured me on earth ; had no 
 disposition to insist upon any confession from them, in order to reconcili 
 ation, and the exercise of love and kindness to them. O it is an emblem 
 of heaven itself, to love all the world with a love of kindness, forgiveness, 
 and benevolence ; to feel our souls sedate, mild and meek ; to be void of 
 all evil surmisings and suspicions, and scarce able to think evil of any man 
 upon any occasion; to find our hearts simple, open and free, to those that 
 look upon us with a different eye ! Prayer was so sweet an exercise to 
 me, that I knew not how to cease, lest I should lose the spirit of prayer. 
 Felt no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the pleasure of it, but 
 only to support my nature, and fit me for divine service. Could not be 
 content without a very particular mention of a great number of dear 
 friends at the throne of grace ; as also the particular circumstances of 
 many, so far as they were known. 
 
 " Lord s day, March 4. In the morning, enjoyed the same intenseness 
 in prayer as yesterday morning, though not in so great a degree ; felt the 
 same spirit of love, universal benevoler.ce,forgiveness, humility, resignation, 
 mortification to the world, and composure of mind, as then. My soul rested 
 in God ; and I found I wanted no other refuge or friend. While my soul 
 trusts in God, all things seem to be at peace with me, even the stones of 
 
94 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 
 
 the earth; but when I cannot apprehend and confide in God, all things 
 appear with a different aspect. 
 
 " March 10. In the morning, felt exceedingly dead to the world, and 
 all its enjoyments. I thought I was ready and willing to give up life and 
 all its comforts, as soon as called to it ; and yet then had as much com 
 fort of life as almost ever I had. Life itself now appeared but an empty 
 bubble ; the riches, honors, and common enjoyments of life appeared ex 
 tremely tasteless. I longed to be perpetually and entirely crucified to all 
 things here below, by the cross of Christ. My soul was sweetly resigned 
 to God s disposal of me, in every regard ; and I saw that nothing had hap 
 pened but what was best for me, I confided in God, that he would 
 never leave me, though I should walk through the valley of the shadow 
 of death. It was then my meat and drink to be holy, to live to the Lord, 
 and die to the Lord. And I thought that I then enjoyed such a heaven, 
 as far exceeded the most sublime conceptions of an unregenerate soul ; 
 and even unspeakably beyond what I myself could conceive at another 
 time. I did not wonder that Peter said, * Lord, it is good to be here, 
 when thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was full of love and 
 tenderness in the duty of intercession ; especially felt a most sweet affec 
 tion to some precious godly ministers, of my acquaintance. Prayed 
 earnestly for dear Christians, and for those I have reason to fear are my 
 enemies ; and could not have spoken a word of bitterness, or entertained 
 a bitter thought, against the vilest man living. Had a sense of my own 
 great unworthiness. My soul seemed to breathe forth love and praise to 
 God afresh, when I thought he would let his children love and receive me as 
 one of their brethren and fellow-citizens. When I thought of their treating 
 me in that manner, I longed to lie at their feet ; and could think of no way to 
 express the sincerity and simplicity of my love and esteem of them, as being 
 much better than myself. Towards night was very sorrowful ; seemed to 
 myself the worst creature living ; and could not pray nor meditate, nor think 
 of holding up my face before the world. Was a little relieved in prayer, 
 in the evening ; but longed to get on my knees, and ask forgiveness of 
 everybody that ever had seen anything amiss in my past conduct, espe 
 cially in my religious zeal. Was afterwards much perplexed, so that I 
 could not sleep quietly. 
 
 " Lord s day, March //. My soul was, in some measure, strengthened 
 in God, in morning devotion ; so that I was released from trembling fear 
 and distress. Preached to my people from the parable of the sower, 
 Matt, xiii., and enjoyed some assistance, both parts of the day; had some 
 freedom, affection, and fervency, in addressing my poor people; longed 
 that God should take hold of their hearts, and make them spiritually 
 alive. And, indeed, I had so much to say to them, that I knew not how 
 to leave off speaking." 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 95 
 
 This was the last Sabbath in which he performed public 
 service at Kaunaumeek, and these the last sermons which he 
 ever preached there. It appears by his diary, that while he 
 continued with these Indians, he took great pains with them, 
 and did it with much discretion ; but the particular manner 
 how has been omitted for brevity s sake. 
 
 " March 12. In the morning, was in a devout, tender, and loving 
 frame of mind ; and was enabled to cry to God, I hope, with a child-like 
 spirit, with importunity, resignation, and composure of mind. My spirit 
 was full of quietness, and love to mankind; and longed that peace should 
 reign on the earth ; was grieved at the very thoughts of fiery, angry, and in 
 temperate zeal in religion; mourned over past follies in that regard; and 
 confided in God for strength and grace sufficient for my future work and 
 trials Spent the day mainly in hard labor, making preparation for my 
 intended journey. 
 
 "March 13. Felt my soul going forth after God sometimes ; but not 
 with such ardency as I desired. In the evening, was enabled to continue 
 instant in prayer, for some considerable time together ; and especially had 
 respect to the journey I designed to enter upon, with the leave of divine 
 providence, on the morrow. Enjoyed some freedom and fervency, en 
 treating that the divine presence might attend me in every place where 
 my business might lead me ; and had a particular reference to the trials 
 and temptations to which I apprehend I might be more eminently exposed 
 in particular places. Was strengthened and comforted ; although I was 
 before very weary. Truly the joy of the Lord is strength and life. 
 
 " March 14. Enjoyed some intenseness of soul in prayer, repeating 
 my petitions for God s presence in every place where I expected to be in 
 my journey. Besought the Lord that I might not be too much pleased 
 and amused with dear friends and acquaintance, one place and another. 
 Near ten, set out on my journey ; and near night came to Stockbridge. 
 
 "March 15. Rode down to Sheffield. Here I met a messenger from 
 East-Hampton on Long Island ; who by the unanimous vote of that large 
 town, was sent to invite me thither, in order to settle with that people, 
 where I had been before frequently invited. Seemed more at a loss what 
 was my duty, than before ; when I heard of the great difficulties of that 
 place, I was much concerned and grieved, and felt some desire to comply 
 with their request ; but knew not what to do; endeavored to commit the 
 case to God." 
 
 The next two days, he went no further than Salisbury, 
 being hindered by the rain. When he came there, he was 
 
9$ MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 much indisposed. He speaks of comfortable and profitable 
 conversation with Christian friends, on these days. 
 
 "Lord s day March 18. [At Salisbury.] Was exceeding weak and 
 faint, so that I could scarce walk ; but God was pleased to afford me much 
 freedom, clearness, and fervency in preaching ; I have not had the like 
 assistance in preaching to sinners for many months past. Here another 
 messenger met me, and informed me of the vote of another congregation, 
 to give me an invitation to come among them upon probation, for settle 
 ment.* Was somewhat exercised in mind with a weight and burden of 
 care. Oh that God would send forth faithful laborers into his harvest ! " 
 
 After this he went forward on his journey to New York 
 and New Jersey, performing it under great bodily indisposition. 
 However, he preached several times by the way, being urged 
 by friends, in which he had considerable assistance. He 
 speaks of comfort in conversation with Christian friends, from 
 time to time, and of various things in the exercises and frames 
 of his heart, which show much of a divine influence on his mind 
 in this journey : but yet complains of the things that he feared 
 viz. a decline of his spiritual life, or vivacity in religion, by 
 means of his constant removal from place to place, and want 
 of retirement ; and complains bitterly of his unworthiness, 
 deadness, etc. He came to New York, March 28, and to 
 Elizabethtown the Saturday following, where he waited till the 
 commissioners came together. 
 
 "April. 5. Was again much exercised with weakness, and with pain 
 in my head. Attended on the commissioners in their meeting.! Re 
 solved to go on still with the Indian affair, if divine providence per 
 mitted; although I had before felt some inclination to go to East-Hamp 
 ton, where I was solicited to go." 
 
 By the invitations which Brainerd had lately received, it 
 appears, that it was not from necessity, or for want of oppor- 
 
 * This congregation was that at Millmgton, near Hr.clclam. They were very earnestly 
 desirous of his coming among them. 
 
 t The Indians at Kaunaumcck b;ing but few in number, and Brainerd having been 
 laboring among them about a year, and having prevailed upon them to be willing to re 
 move to Stockbridge, to live under Mr. Sergeant s ministry; ha thought he might now 
 do more service for Christ among the Indians elsewhere, and therefore took this journey 
 to New Jersey to lay the matter before the commissioners, who met at Klizabcjthtown, 
 and determined th.it he should forthwith leave Kaunaumeek, and go to the Delaware fn- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 97 
 
 tunities to settle in the ministry amongst the English, not 
 withstanding the disgrace he had been laid under at college, 
 that he was determined to forsake all the outward comforts 
 to be enjoyed in the English settlements, to go and spend his 
 life among the savages, and endure the difficulties and self- 
 denials of an Indian mission. Just as he was leaving Kaun- 
 aumeek, he had an earnest invitation to a settlement at East 
 Hampton, Long Island, the fairest, pleasantest town on the 
 whole island, and one of its largest and most wealthy par 
 ishes. The people there were unanimous in their desires to 
 have him for their pastor, and for a long time continued in an 
 earnest pursuit of what they desired, and were hardly brought 
 to relinquish their endeavors, and give up their hopes of ob 
 taining him. Besides, the invitation which he had to Milling- 
 ton was near his native town, and in the midst of his friends. 
 Nor did Brainerd choose the business of a missionary to the 
 Indians, rather than accept of those invitations, because he 
 was unacquainted with the difficulties and sufferings which 
 attended such a service ; for he had had experience of these 
 difficulties in summer and winter ; having spent about a 
 twelvemonth in a lonely desert among these savages, where 
 he had gone through extreme hardships, and been the subject 
 of a train of outward and inward sorrows which were now 
 fresh in his mind. Notwithstanding all these things, he chose 
 still to go on with this business ; and that, although the place 
 to which he was now going, was at a much greater distance 
 from most of his friends, and native land. 
 
 After this he continued two or three days in New Jersey, \/ 
 very ill ; and then returned to New York and thence into New 
 England to his native town of Hacldam, where he arrived April 
 14. And he continues still his bitter complaints of want of re 
 tirement. While he was in New York, he says thus, " Oh it is 
 not the pleasures of the world which can comfort me ! If God 
 deny his presence, what are the pleasures of the city to me ? 
 One hour of sweet retirement where God is, is better than 
 the whole world." And he continues to complain of his 
 
9 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 ignorance, meanness, and unworthiness. However, he speaks 
 of some seasons of special assistance and divine sweetness. 
 He spent some days among his friends at East-Hampton and 
 Millington. 
 
 April 17. Rode to Millington again ; and felt perplexed when I set 
 out ; was feeble in body, and weak in faith. I was going to preach a lec 
 ture, and feared I should never have assistance enough to get through. 
 But, contriving to ride alone, at a distance from the company that was go 
 ing, I spent the time in lifting up my heart to God. Had not gone far 
 before my soul was abundantly strengthened with those words, If God be 
 for us, who can be against us ? I went on, confiding in God ; and fear 
 ing nothing so much as self-confidence. In this frame I went to the house 
 of God, and enjoyed some assistance. Afterwards, felt the spirit of love 
 and meekness in conversation with some friends. Then rode home to my 
 brother s; and, in the evening, singing hymns with friends, my soul 
 seemed to melt; and in prayer, afterwards, enjoyed the exercise of faith, 
 and was enabled to be fervent in spirit ; found more of God s presence, 
 than I have done any time in my late wearisome journey. Eternity ap 
 peared very near ; my nature was very weak, and seemed ready to be dis 
 solved; the sun declining, and the shadows of the evening drawing on 
 apace. I longed to fill up the remaining moments all for God ! Though 
 my body was so feeble, and wearied with preaching, and much private 
 conversation, yet I wanted to sit up all night to do something for God. 
 To God, the giver of these refreshments, be glory for ever and ever. 
 Amen. 
 
 " April 18. Was very weak, and enfeyed but little spiritual comfort. 
 Was exercised with one who cavilled against original sin. May the Lord 
 open his eyes to see the fountain of sin in himself ! " 
 
 After this, he visited several ministers in Connecticut ; 
 and then traveled towards Kaunaumeek, and came to Mr. 
 Sergeant s at Stockbridge. He performed this journey in a 
 very weak state of body. The things he speaks of, are at 
 some times deadness and want of spiritual comfort ; at other 
 times, resting in God, spiritual sweetness in conversation, 
 engagedness in meditation on the road, assistance in preach 
 ing, rejoicing to think that so much more of his work was 
 done, and he so much nearer to the eternal world. And he 
 once and again speaks of a sense of great ignorance and 
 spiritual pollution. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD 99 
 
 " April 27 and 2.S. Spent some time in visiting friends, and discour 
 sing with my people, (who were now moved down from their own place 
 to Mr. Sergeant s,) and found them very glad to see me returned. Was 
 exercised in my mind with a sense of my own unworthiness. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 29. Preached for Mr. Sergeant both parts of the 
 day, from Rev. xiv. 4. These are they which were not defiled, etc. En 
 joyed some freedom in preaching, though not much spirituality. In the 
 evening, my heart was in some measure lifted up in thankfulness to God 
 for any assistance. April 30. Rode to Kaunaumeek, but was ex 
 tremely ill ; did not enjoy the comfort I hoped for in my own house. 
 May i. Having received new orders to go to a number of Indians, on 
 Delaware river, in Pennsylvania, and my people here being mostly re 
 moved to Mr. Sergeant s, I this day took all my clothes, books, etc., and 
 disposed of them, and set out for Delaware river ; but made it my way 
 to return to Mr. Sergeant s, which I did this day, just at night. Rode 
 several hours in the rain through the howling wilderness, although I was 
 so disordered in body, that little or nothing but blood came from me." 
 
 Pie continued at Stockbridge the next day, and on Thurs 
 day rode to Sheffield, under a great degree of illness ; but 
 with encouragement and cheerfulness of mind under his fa 
 tigues. On Friday, he rode to Salisbury, and continued 
 there till after the Sabbath. He speaks of his soul s being, 
 some part of the time, refreshed in conversation with some 
 Christian friends, about their heavenly home, and their jour 
 ney thither. At other times, he speaks of himself as exceed 
 ingly perplexed with barrenness and deadness, and has this 
 exclamation : " O that time should pass with so little done 
 for God ! " On Monday, he rode to Sharon ; and speaks of 
 himself as distressed at the consideration of the misimprove- 
 ment of time. 
 
 " Mny 8. Set out from Sharon, in Connecticut, and traveled about 
 forty-five miles to a place called Fishkill * and lodged there. Spent 
 much of my time, while riding, in prayer, that God would go with me to 
 Delaware. My heart, sometimes, was ready to sink with the thoughts of 
 my work, and going alone in the wilderness, I knew not where ; but still 
 it was comfortable to think that others of God s children had wandered 
 about in caves and dens of the earth ; and Abraham, when he was called 
 to go forth, went out, not knowing whither he went. Oh that I might 
 follow after God ! " 
 
 * A place in New York government, near the Hudson, on the east side of the river. 
 
I0 o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 The next day, he went forward on his journey ; crossed 
 the Hudson, and traveled from the Hudson to the Delaware, 
 about a hundred miles, through a desolate and hideous coun 
 try, where were very few settlements ; in which journey he 
 suffered much fatigue and hardship. He visited some In 
 dians on the way, and discoursed with them concerning Chris 
 tianity. Was melancholy and disconsolate, being alone in a 
 strange wilderness. On Saturday, he came to a settlement 
 of Irish and Dutch people, about twelve miles above the 
 Forks of Delaware. 
 
 "Lord s day, May 13. Rose early; felt very poorly after my long 
 journey, and after being wet and fatigued. Was very melancholy ; have 
 scarcely ever seen such a gloomy morning in my life ; there appeared to 
 be no Sabbath ; the children were all at play; I a stranger in the wilder 
 ness, and knew not where to go ; and all circumstances seemed to conspire 
 to render my affairs dark and discouraging. Was disappointed respect 
 ing an interpreter, and heard that the Indians were much scattered. O 
 I mourned after the presence of God, and seemed like a creature 
 banished from his sight ! yet he was pleased to support my sinking soul, 
 amidst all my sorrows ; so that I never entertained any thought of quit 
 ting my business among the poor Indians ; but was comforted, to think, 
 that death would ere long set me free from these distresses. Rode about 
 three or four miles to the Irish people, where I found some that appeared 
 sober and concerned about religion. My heart then began to be a little 
 encouraged : went and preached, first to the Irish, and then to the 
 Indians ; and in the evening, was a little comforted ; my soul seemed to 
 rest on God, and take courage. Oh that the Lord would be my support 
 and comforter in an evil world ! 
 
 May 14. Was very busy in some necessary studies. Felt myself 
 very loose from all the world ; all appeared vanity and vexation of spirit. 
 Seemed lonesome and disconsolate, as if I were banished from all man 
 kind, and bereaved of all that is called pleasurable in the world ; but 
 appeared to myself so vile and unworthy, it seemed fitter for me to be 
 here than anywhere. 
 
 " May 15. Still much engaged in my studies; and enjoyed more 
 health, than I have for some time past ; but was somewhat dejected in 
 spirit with a sense of my meanness ; seemed as if I could never do anv- 
 thing at all to any good purpose, by reason of ignorance and folly. Oh 
 that a sense of these things might work more habitual humility in my 
 soul! 
 
 " May 17. Was this day greatly distressed with a sense of my vile- 
 
101 
 
 ness ; appeared to myself too bad to walk on God s earth, or to be treated 
 with kindness by any of his creatures. God was pleased to let me see 
 my inward pollution and corruption, to such a degree, that I almost 
 despaired of being more holy : O wretched man that I am! who shall 
 deliver me from the body of this death ? In the afternoon, met with the 
 Indians, according to appointment, and preached to them. And while 
 riding to them, my soul seemed to confide in God ; and afterwards had 
 some relief and enlargement of soul in prayer, and some assistance in the 
 duty of intercession ; vital piety and holiness appeared sweet to me, and 
 I longed for the perfection of it. 
 
 "May 18. Felt again somewhat of the sweet spirit of religion ; and 
 my soul seemed to confide in God, that he would never leave me. But 
 oftentimes saw myself so mean a creature, that I knew not how to think 
 of preaching. Oh that I could always live to, and upon God ! 
 
 "May 19. Was, some part of the time, greatly oppressed with the 
 weight and burden of my work ; it seemed impossible for me ever to go 
 through with the business I had undertaken. Towards night was very 
 calm and comfortable ; and I think, my soul trusted in God for help. 
 
 " Lord s day, May 20. Preached twice to the poor Indians ; and en 
 joyed some freedom in speaking, while I attempted to remove their 
 prejudices, against Christianity. My soul longed for assistance from above, 
 all the while ; for I saw I had no strength sufficient for that work. After 
 wards, preached to the Irish people; was much assisted in the first 
 prayer, and somewhat in the sermon. Several persons seemed much 
 concerned for their souls, with whom I discoursed afterwards with much 
 freedom and some power. Blessed be God for any assistance afforded 
 to an unworthy worm. Oh that I could live to him !" 
 
 Through the remainder of this week, he was sometimes 
 ready to sink with a sense of his unworthiness and unfitness 
 for the work of the ministry ; and sometimes encouraged and 
 lifted above his fears and sorrows, and was enabled confident 
 ly to rely on God ; and especially on Saturday, towards night, 
 he enjoyed calmness and composure, and assistance in prayer 
 to God. He rejoiced, "that God remains unchangeably 
 powerful and faithful, a sure and sufficient portion, and the 
 dwelling-place of his children in all generations." 
 
 "Lords day, May 27. Visited my Indians, in the morning, and 
 attended a funeral among them ; was affected to see their heathenish 
 practices. Oh that they might be turned from darkness to light ! 
 Afterwards got a considerable number of them together, and preached to 
 them ; and observed them very attentive. After this, preached to the 
 
! 02 mo/i OF KRAIXERD. 
 
 white people from Heb. ii. 3. How shall we escape if we neglect etc. 
 Was enabled to speak with some freedom and power; several people 
 seemed much concerned for their souls ; especially one who had been 
 educated a Roman Catholic. Blessed be the Lord for any help. 
 
 " May 28. Set out from the Indians above the Forks of the Delaware, 
 on a journey towards Newark, in New Jersey, according to my orders. 
 Rode through the wilderness ; was much fatigued with the heat ; lodged 
 at a place called Black River; was exceedingly tired and worn out." 
 
 On Tuesday he came to Newark. The next day went 
 to Elizabethtown, and Thursday to New York, arid on 
 Friday returned to Elizabethtown. These days were spent 
 in some perplexity of mind. He continued at Elizabeth- 
 town till Friday in the week following. Was enlivened, re 
 freshed, and strengthened on the Sabbath at the Lord s 
 table. The ensuing days of the week were spent chiefly in 
 studies preparatory to his ordination ; and on some of them 
 he seemed to have much of God s gracious presence, and of 
 the sweet influences of his Spirit ; but was in a very weak 
 state of body. On Saturday he rode to Newark. 
 
 " Lords day, June \o>. [At Newark] in the morning was much con 
 cerned how I should perform the work of the day ; and trembled at the 
 thoughts of being left to myself. Enjoyed very considerable assistance 
 in all parts of the public service. Had an opportunity again to attend on 
 the ordinance of the Lord s supper, and through divine goodness was re 
 freshed in it: my soul was full of love and tenderness towards the 
 children of God, and towards all men ; felt a certain sweetness of dis 
 position towards every creature. At night, I enjoyed more spirituality 
 and sweet desire of holiness, than I have felt for some time: was afraid 
 of every thought and every motion, lest thereby my heart should be drawn 
 away from God. Oh that I might never leave the blessed God ! Lord, 
 in thy presence is fullness of joy. O the blessedness of living to God ! 
 
 " -June ii. This day the Presbytery met at Newark in order to my 
 ordination. Was very weak and disordered in body; yet endeavored to 
 repose my confidence in God. Spent most of the day alone ; especially 
 the forenoon. At three in the afternoon preached my probation sermon, 
 from Acts xxvi. 17, 18. Delivering thee from the people, and from the 
 Gentiles, etc. being a text given me for that end. Felt not well either in 
 body or mind; however, God carried me through comfortably. After 
 wards, passed an examination before the Presbytery. Was much tired, and 
 my mind burdened with the greatness of that charge I was in the most 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRALVERD. 103 
 
 solemn manner about to take upon me ; my mind was so pressed with 
 the weight of the work incumbent upon me, that I could not sleep this 
 night, though very weary and in great need of rest. 
 
 "/<? 12. Was this morning further examined, respecting my ex 
 perimental acquaintance with Christianity.* At ten o clock my ordination 
 was attended ; the sermon preached by the Rev. Mr. Pemberton. At 
 this time I was affected with a sense of the important trust committed lo 
 me ; yet was composed, and solemn, without distraction ; and I hope that 
 then, as many times before, I gave myself up to God, to be for him, and 
 not for another. O that I might always be engaged in the service of God, 
 and duly remember the solemn charge I have received, in the presence 
 of God, angels, and men. Amen. May I be assisted of God for this 
 purpose. Towards night, rode to Elizabethtown." 
 
 * Mr. Pemberton in a letter to the society in Scotland, published 5n the Christian Monthly 
 History, writes thus. " We can with pleasure say, that Mr Brainerd passed through his 
 ordination trial to the universal approbation of the Presbytery, and appeared uncommonly 
 qualified for the work of the ministry. He seems to be armed with a great deal of self- 
 denial, and animated with a noble zeal to propagate the gospel among these barbarous 
 nations, who have long dwelt in the darkness of heathenism." 
 
104 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Enters upon a mission among the Indians at Crossweeksung. A succinct account of his 
 Missionary labor and success both at Kaunaumeek and at the Forks of the Delaware, 
 in a Letter of Brainerd s to the Rev. Mr. Pemberton. 
 
 "June 13, [1744.] Spent considerable time in writing an account of 
 the Indian affairs to go to Scotland ; some, in conversation with friends; 
 but enjoyed not much sweetness and satisfaction. 
 
 "June 14. Received some particular kindness from friends ; and 
 wondered, that God should open the hearts of any to treat me with kind 
 ness ; saw myself to be unworthy of any favor from God, or any of my 
 fellow-men. Was much exercised with pain in my head; however, I 
 determined to set out on my journey towards the Delaware in the after 
 noon ; but when the afternoon came, my pain increased exceedingly ; so 
 that I was obliged to betake myself to bed. The night following, I was 
 greatly distressed with pain and sickness ; was sometimes almost bereaved 
 of the exercise of reason by the extremity of pain. Continued much dis 
 tressed till Saturday, when I was somewhat relieved by an emetic; but 
 was unable to walk abroad till the Monday following, in the afternoon ; 
 and still remained very feeble. I often admired the goodness of God, 
 that he did not suffer me to proceed on my journey from this place where 
 I was so tenderly used, and to be sick by the way among strangers. God 
 is very gracious to me, both in health and sickness, and intermingles 
 much mercy with all my afflictions and toils. Enjoyed some sweetness 
 in things divine, in the midst of my pain and weakness. Oh that I could 
 praise the Lord." 
 
 On Tuesday, June 19, he set out on his journey home, 
 and in three days reached his residence, near the Forks of 
 Delaware.* Performed the journey under much weakness of 
 body ; but had comfort in his soul, from day to day ; and 
 both his weakness of body, and consolation of mind, con 
 tinued through the week. 
 
 " Lord s day, June 24. Extremely feeble ; scarcely able to walk ; 
 
 however visited my Indians, and took much pains to instruct them ; 
 
 labored with some that were much disaffected to Christianity. My mind 
 
 was much burdened with the weight and difficulty of my work. My 
 
 * [Near where Easion, Pa., is now situated. Ed.] 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 105 
 
 whole dependence and hope of success seemed to be on God ; who 
 alone I saw could make them willing to receive instruction, My heart 
 was much engaged in prayer, sending up silent requests to God, 
 even while I was speaking to them. O, that I could always go in the 
 strength of the Lord ! 
 
 "June 23. Was somewhat better in health than of late; and was 
 able to spend a considerable part of the day in prayer and close study. 
 Had more freedom and fervency in prayer than usual of late ; especially 
 longed for the presence of God in my work, and that the poor Heathen 
 might be converted. And in evening prayer, my faith and hope in God 
 were much raised. To an eye of reason, every thing that respects the con 
 version of the heathen, is as dark as midnight; and yet I cannot but hope 
 in God for the accomplishment of something glorious among them. My 
 soul longed much for the advancement of the Redeemer s kingdom on 
 earth. Was very fearful lest I should admit some vain thought, and so 
 lose the sense I then had of divine things. Oh for an abiding heavenly 
 temper ! 
 
 "June 26. In the morning, my desires seemed to rise, and ascend up 
 freely to God. Was busy most of the day in translating prayers into the 
 language of the Delaware Indians ; met with great difficulty, because my 
 interpreter was altogether unacquainted with the business. But though I 
 was much discouraged with the extreme difficulty of that work, yet God 
 supported me ; and especially in the evening, gave me sweet refreshment. 
 In prayer, my soul was enlarged, and my faith drawn into sensible exer 
 cise ; was enabled to cry to God for my poor Indians ; and though the 
 work of their conversion appeared impossible with man, yet with God I 
 saw all things were possible. My faith was much strengthened, by observ 
 ing the wonderful assistance God afforded his servants Nehemiah and 
 Ezra, in reforming his people, and re-establishing his ancient church. I 
 was much assisted in prayer for my dear Christian friends, and for others 
 whom I apprehended to be Christless; but was more especially concerned 
 for the poor Heathen, and those of my own charge ; was enabled to be 
 instant in prayer for them ; and hopeful that Gocl would bow the heavens 
 and come down for their salvation. It seemed to me, that there could be 
 no impediment sufficient to obstruct that glorious work, seeing the living 
 God, as I strongly hoped, was engaged for it. I continued in a solemn 
 frame, lifting up my heart to God for assistance and grace, that I might 
 be more mortified to this present world, that my whole soul might be 
 taken up continually in concern for the advancement of Christ s kingdom. 
 Earnestly desired that God would purge me more, more, that I might be 
 as a chosen vessel to bear his name among the heathens. Continued in 
 this frame till I fell asleep. 
 
 M June 27. Felt something of the same solemn concern, and spirit of 
 
106 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 prayer, which I enjoyed last night, soon after I rose in the morning. In 
 the afternoon, rode several miles to see if I could procure any lands for 
 the poor Indians, that they might live together, and be under better ad 
 vantages for instruction. While I was riding, had a deep sense of the 
 greatness and difficulty of my work ; and my soul seemed to rely wholly 
 upon God for success, in the diligent and faithful use of means. Saw, 
 with the greatest certainty, that the arm of the Lord must be revealed, 
 for the help of these poor Heathen, if ever they were delivered from the 
 bondage of the powers of darkness. Spent most of the time, while rid 
 ing, in lifting up my heart for grace and assistance. 
 
 "June 28. Spent the morning in reading several parts of the holy 
 scripture, and in fervent prayer for my Indians, that God would set up 
 his kingdom among them, and bring them into his church. About nine, 
 I withdrew to my usual place of retirement in the woods ; and there again 
 enjoyed some assistance in prayer. My great concern was for the conver 
 sion of the Heathen to God; and the Lord helped me to plead with him 
 for it. Towards noon, rode up to the Indians, in order to preach to 
 them ; and, while going, my heart went up to God in prayer for them ; 
 could freely tell God, he knew that the cause in which I was engaged 
 was not mine ; but that it was his own cause, and that it would be for his 
 own glory to convert the poor Indians ; and blessed be God, I felt no 
 desire of their conversion, that I might receive honor from the world, as 
 being the instrument of it. Had some freedom in speaking to the In 
 dians. 
 
 "June 30 My soul was very solemn in reading God s word ; espe 
 cially the ninth chapter of Daniel. I saw how God had called out his ser 
 vants to prayer, and made them wrestle with him, when he designed to 
 bestow any great mercy on his church. And, alas ! I was ashamed of 
 myself, to think of my dullness and inactivity; when there seemed to be so 
 much to do for the upbuilding of Zion. O how does Zion lie waste 1 I 
 longed that the church of God might be enlarged ; was enabled to pray, 
 I think, in faith ; my soul seemed sensibly to confide in God, and was 
 enabled to wrestle with him. Afterwards, walked abroad to a place of 
 sweet retirement, enjoyed some assistance in prayer, had a sense of my 
 great need of divine help, and felt my soul sensibly depend on God. 
 Blessed be God. this has been a comfortable week to me. 
 
 " Lord s day, July T. In the morning, was perplexed with wandering 
 vain thoughts; was much grieved, judged and condemned myself Before 
 God. O how miserable did I feel, because I could not live to God . At 
 ten. rode away with a heavy heart, to preach to my Indians. Upon the 
 road I attempted to lift up my heart to God ; but was infested with an 
 unsettled wandering frame of mind ; and was exceeding restless and per 
 plexed, and filled with shame and confusion before God. I seemed to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 107 
 
 myself to be more brutish than any man ; and thought, none deserved 
 to be cast out of God s presence so much as I. If I attempted to 
 lift up my heart to God, as I frequently did by the way, on a sudden, be 
 fore I was aware, my thoughts were wandering to the ends of the earth ; 
 and my soul was filled with surprise and anxiety, to find it thus. Thus 
 also, after I came to the Indians, my mind was confused ; and I felt 
 nothing sensibly of that sweet reliance on God, with which my soul has 
 been comforted in days past. Spent the forenoon in thia posture of 
 mind, and preached to the Indians without any heart. In the afternoon 
 I felt still barren, when I began to preach; and for about half an hour, I 
 seemed to myself to know nothing, and to have nothing to say to 
 the Indians ; but soon after, I found in myself a spirit of love, 
 and warmth, and power, to address the poor Indians ; and God 
 helped me to plead with them, to turn from all the vanities of the 
 Heathen, to the living God. I am persuaded that the Lord touched 
 their consciences; for I never saw such attention raised in them. When 
 I came away from them, I spent the whole time while I was riding to my 
 lodgings, three miles distant, in prayer and praise to God. After I had 
 rode more than two miles, it came into my mind to dedicate myself to 
 God again ; which I did with great solemnity, and unspeakable satisfac 
 tion ; especially gave up myself to him renewedly in the work of the 
 ministry. This I did by divine grace, I hope, without any exception or 
 reserve ; not in the least shrinking back from any difficulties that might 
 attend this great and blessed work. I seemed to be most free, cheerful, 
 and full in this dedication of myself. My whole soul cried Lord, to 
 thee I dedicate myself! O accept of me, and let me be thine forever. 
 Lord, I desire nothing else ; I desire nothing more. O come, come 
 Lord, accept a poor worm. Whom have I in heaven but thee ? and 
 there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. After this, was 
 enabled to praise God with my whole soul, that he had enabled me to 
 devote and consecrate all my powers to him in this solemn manner. My 
 heart rejoiced in my particular work as a missionary ; rejoiced in my ne 
 cessity of self-denial in many respects ; and still continued to give up my 
 self to God, and implore mercy of him, praying incessantly, every mo 
 ment with sweet fervency. My nature being very weak of late, and much 
 spent, was now considerably overcome : my fingers grew very feeble, 
 and somewhat numb, so that I could scarcely stretch them out straight : 
 and when I lighted from my horse, could hardly walk ; my joints seemed 
 all to be loosed. But I felt abundant strength in the inner man. 
 Preached to the white people ; God helped me much, especially in 
 prayer. Sundry of my poor Indians, were so moved as to come to meet 
 ing also ; and one appeared much concerned. 
 
 "July 2. Had some relish of the divine comforts of yesterday; but 
 
I -8 MEMOIRS OF Bi: A I NERD. 
 
 could not get that warmth and exercise of faith, which I desired. Had 
 sometimes a distressing sense of my past follies, and present ignorance 
 and barrenness; and especially in the afternoon, was sunk down under a 
 load of sin and guilt, in that I had lived so little to God, after his abundant 
 goodness to me yesterday. In the evening, though very weak, was en- 
 ab ecl to pray with fervency, and to continue instant in prayer, near an 
 h our. My soul mourned over the power of its corruption, and longed 
 exceedingly to be washed and purged as with hyssop. Was enabled to 
 pray for my dear absent friends, Christ s ministers, and his church ; and 
 enjoyed much freedom and fervency, but not so much comfort, by reason 
 of guilt and shame before God. Judged and condemned myself for the 
 follies of the day. 
 
 "July 3. Was still very weak. This morning, was enabled to pray 
 under a feeling sense of my need of help from God, and, I trust, had 
 some faith in exercise ; and blessed be God, was enabled to plead with 
 him a considerable time. Truly God is good to me. But my soul 
 mourned, and was grieved at my sinfulnessand barrenness, and longed to 
 be more engaged for God. Near nine, withdrew again for prayer; and 
 through divine goodness, had the blessed spirit of prayer; my soul loved 
 the duty, and longed for God in it. O it is sweet to be the Lord s, to be 
 sensibly devoted to him ! What a blessed portion is God ! How glorious, 
 how lovely in himself ! O my soul longed to improve time wholly for 
 God ! Spent most of the day in translating prayers into Indian. In the 
 evening, was enabled again to wrestle with God in prayer with fervency. 
 Was enabled to maintain a self-diffident and watchful frame of spirit, in 
 the evening and was jealous and afraid lest I should admit carelessness 
 and self-confidence." 
 
 The next day, he seems to have had special assistance 
 and fervency most of the day, but in a less degree than in 
 the preceding day. Tuesday was spent in great bodily weak 
 ness ; yet seems to have been spent in continual distress and 
 great bitterness of spirit, in consequence of his vileness and 
 corruption. He says, " I thought that there was not one 
 creature living so vile as I. O my inward pollution ! O my 
 guilt and shame before God ! I know not what to do. O I 
 longed ardently to be cleansed and washed from the stains 
 of inward pollution ; O, to be made like God, or rather to be 
 made fit for God to own ! " 
 
 "July 6. Awoke this morning in the fear of God : soon called to 
 mind my sadness in the evening past ; and spent my first waking minutes 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 109 
 
 in prayer for sanctification, that my soul may be washed from its exceed 
 ing pollution and defilement. After I arose, I spent some time in read 
 ing God s word, and in prayer. I cried to God under a sense of my great 
 indigence. I am, of late most of all concerned for ministerial qualifica 
 tions, and the conversion of the heathen. Last year, I longed to be pre 
 pared for a world of glory, and speedily to depart out of this world ; but 
 of late all my concern almost is, for the conversion of the heathen ; and 
 for that end I long to live. But blessed be God, I have less desire to 
 live for any of the pleasures of the world, than I ever had. I long and 
 love to be a pilgrim ; and want grace to imitate the life, labors, and suffer 
 ings of St. Paul among the heathen. And when I long for holiness now, 
 it is not so much for myself as formerly ; but rather that thereby I may 
 become an able minister of the New Testament, especially to the 
 heathen. Spent about two hours this morning in reading and prayer by 
 turns ; and was in a watchful tender frame, afraid of everything that 
 might cool my affections, and draw away my heart from God. Was a 
 little strengthened in my studies; but near night was very weak and 
 weary. 
 
 "July 7. Was very much disordered this morning, and my vigor all 
 spent and exhausted ; but was affected and refreshed in reading the sweet 
 story of Elijah s translation, and enjoyed some affection and fervency in 
 prayer ; longed much for ministerial gifts and graces, that I might do 
 something in the cause of God. Afterwards was refreshed and invigorated, 
 while reading Alleine s first Case of Conscience, and enabled then to 
 pray with some ardor of soul, and was afraid of carelessness and self-con 
 fidence, and longed for holiness. 
 
 "Lord s day, July 8. Was ill last night, not able to rest quietly. Had 
 some small degree of assistance in preaching to the Indians; and after 
 wards was enabled to preach to the white people with some power, 
 especially in the close of my discourse from Jer. iii. 23. Truly in vain is 
 salvation hoped for from the hills, etc. The Lord also assisted me in 
 some measure in the first prayer; blessed be his name. Near night, 
 though very weary, was enabled to read God s word with some sweet 
 relish of it, and to pray with affection, fervency, and I trust with faith ; 
 my soul was more sensibly dependent on God than usual. Was watchful, 
 tender, and jealous of my own heart, lest I should admit carelessness and 
 vain thoughts, and grieve the blessed Spirit, so that he should withdraw 
 his sweet, kind, and tender influences. Longed to depart, and be with 
 Christ, more than at any time of late. My soul was exceedingly united 
 to the saints of ancient times, as well as those now living ; especially my 
 soul melted for the society of Elijah and Elisha. Was enabled to cry to 
 God with a child-like spirit, and to continue instant in prayer for some 
 time. Was much enlarged in the sweet duty of intercession ; was 
 
no MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 enabled to remember great numbers of dear friends, and precious souls, 
 as well as Christ s ministers. Continued in this frame, afraid of every 
 idle thought, till I dropped asleep. 
 
 " July 9. Was under much illness of body most of the day; and not 
 able to sit up the whole day. Towards night felt a little better. Then 
 spent sometime in reading God s word and prayer; enjoyed some degree 
 of fervency and affection ; was enabled to plead with God for his cause 
 and kingdom ; and, through divine goodness, it was apparent to me, that 
 it was his cause I pleaded for, and not my own; and was enabled to make 
 this an argument with God to answer my requests. 
 
 "July 10. Was very ill and full of pain, and very dull and spiritless. 
 In the evening, had an affecting sense of my ignorance, and of my need of 
 God at all times to do everything for me; and my soul was humbled be 
 fore God. 
 
 "July ii. Was still exercised with illness and pain. Had some de 
 gree of affection and warmth in prayer and reading God s word ; longed 
 for Abraham s faith and fellowship with God ; and felt some resolution to 
 spend all my time for God, and to exert myself with more fervency in his 
 service ; but found my body weak and feeble. In the afternoon, though very 
 ill, was enabled to spend some considerable time in prayer : spent, indeed, 
 most of the day in that exercise : and my soul was diffident, watchful, and 
 tender, lest I should offend my blessed Friend, in thought or behavior. 
 I am persuaded that my soul confided in, and leaned upon the blessed 
 God. O, what need did I see myself to stand in of God at all times, to 
 assist me and lead me ! Found a great want of strength and vigor, both 
 in the outward and inner man." 
 
 The experiences of which he speaks in the next nine days, 
 are very similar to those of the preceding days of this and 
 the foregoing week ; a sense of his own weakness, ignorance, 
 unprofitableness, and vileness ; loathing and abhorring him 
 self ; self-diffidence ; sense of the greatness of his work, of 
 his great need of divine help, and the extreme danger of 
 self-confidence ; longing for holiness and humility, to be fitted 
 for his work, and to live to God, and for the conversion of 
 the Indians ; and these things to a very great degree. 
 
 "July 21. This morning, I was greatly oppressed with guilt and shame, 
 from a sense of inward vileness and pollution. About nine, withdrew to 
 the woods for prayer ; but had not much comfort ; I appeared to myself 
 the vilest, meanest creature upon earth, and could scarcely live with my 
 self; so mean and vile I appeared that I thought I should never be able 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. I T r 
 
 to hold up my face in heaven, if God of his infinite grace should bring me 
 thither. Towards night my burden respecting my work among the In 
 dians began to increase much ; and was aggravated by hearing sundry 
 things, which looked very discouraging ; in particular, that they intended 
 to meet together the next day for an idolatrous feast and dance. Then I 
 began to be in anguish ; I thought that I must in conscience go and en 
 deavor to break them up ; yet knew not how to attempt such a thing. 
 However, I withdrew for prayer, hoping for strength from above. In 
 prayer I was exceedingly enlarged, and my soul was as much drawn out as 
 I ever remember it to have been in my life. I was in such anguish, and 
 pleaded with so much earnestness and importunity, that when I rose from 
 my knees I felt extremely weak and overcome ; I could scarce walk 
 straight; my joints were loosed 5 the sweat ran down my face and body; 
 and nature seemed as if it would dissolve. So far as I could judge, I was 
 wholly free from selfish ends in my fervent supplications for the poor In 
 dians. I knew that they were met together to worship devils, and not 
 God ; and this made me cry earnestly, that God would now appear, and 
 help me in my attempts to break up this idolatrous meeting. My soul 
 pleaded long; and I thought that God would hear, and would go with me to 
 vindicate his own cause; I seemed to confide in God for his presence and 
 assistance. And thus I spent the evening, praying incessantly for divine 
 assistance, and that I might not be self-dependent, but still have my whole 
 dependence upon God. What I passed through was remarkable, and in 
 deed inexpressible. All things here below vanished ; and there appeared 
 to be nothing of any considerable importance to me, but holiness of heart 
 and life and the conversion of the Heathen to God. All my cares, fears, 
 and desires, which might be said to be of a worldly nature, disappeared; 
 and were, in my esteem, of little more importance than a puff of wind. I 
 exceedingly longed that God would get to himself a name among the 
 heathen; and I appealed to him with the greatest freedom, that he knew 
 I preferred him above my chief joy. Indeed, I had no notion of joy from : 
 this world ; I cared not where or how I lived, or what hardships I went ; 
 through, so that I could but gain souls to Christ. I continued in this 1 
 frame all the evening and night. While I was asleep, I dreamed of these } 
 things; and when I waked, (as I frequently did,) the first thing I thought ! 
 of was this great work of pleading for God against Satan. 
 
 " Lord s day, July 22. When I waked, my soul was burdened with 
 what seemed to be before me. I cried to God, before I could get out of 
 my bed ; and as soon as I was dressed, I withdrew into the woods, to 
 pour out my burdened soul to God, especially for assistance in my great 
 work ; for I could scarcely think of anything else. I enjoyed the same 
 freedom and fervency as the last evening; and did with unspeakable free- * 
 dom give up myself afresh to God, for life or death, for all hardships he 
 
1 1 2 MEMOIRS OF Bi: A I NERD. 
 
 should call me to among the heathen; and felt as if nothing could dis 
 courage me from this blessed work. I had a strong hope that God would 
 bow the heavens and come down. and do some marvellous work among 
 the heathen. While I was riding to the Indians three miles, my heart 
 was continually going up to God for his presence and assistance ; and 
 hoping, and almost expecting, that God would make this the day of his 
 po\\er and grace amongst the poor Indians. When I came to them, I 
 found them engaged in their frolic ; but through divine goodness I per 
 suaded them to desist; and attend to my preaching; yet still there appeared 
 nothing of the special power of God among them. Preached again to 
 them in the afternoon, and observed the Indians were more sober than 
 before ; but still saw nothing special among them. Hence Satan took 
 occasion to tempt and buffet me with these cursed suggestions, There is 
 no God, or if there be, he is not able to convert the Indians, before they 
 have more knowledge. I was very weak and weary, and my soul borne 
 down with perplexity ; but was mortified to all the world, and was deter 
 mined still to wait upon God for the conversion of the heathen, though 
 the devil tempted me to the contrary. 
 
 "July 23. Retained still a deep and pressing sense of what lay with 
 so much weight upon me yesterday ; but was more calm and quiet. En 
 joyed freedom and composure, after the temptations of the last evening ; 
 had sweet resignation to the divine will ; and desired nothing so much as 
 the conversion of the heathen to God, and that his kingdom might come 
 in my own heart, and the heart of others. Rode to a settlement of Irish 
 people, about fifteen miles south-westward; spent my time in prayer and 
 meditation by the way. Near night preached from Matt. v. 3. Blessed 
 are the poor in spirit, etc. God was pleased to afford me some degree 
 of freedom and fervency. Blessed be God for any measure of assistance. 
 
 "July 24. Rode about seventeen miles westward, over a hideous 
 mountain, to a number of Indians, Got together near thirty of them ; 
 preached to them in the evening, and lodged among them. Was weak, 
 and felt in some degree disconsolate ; yet could have no freedom in the 
 thought of any other circumstances or business in life. All my desire was 
 the conversion of the heathen ; and all my hope was in God. God does 
 not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends, 
 returning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoying worldly comforts." 
 
 The next day, he preached to these Indians again ; and 
 then returned to the Irish settlement, and there preached to 
 a numerous congregation. There was a considerable appear 
 ance of awakening in the congregation. Thursday he returned 
 home, exceedingly fatigued and spent ; still in the same frame 
 of mortification to the world, and solicitous for the advance- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 113 
 
 ment of Christ s kingdom. On this day he writes thus : " I 
 have felt this week, more of the spirit of a pilgrim on earth, 
 than perhaps ever before ; and yet so desirous to see Zion s 
 prosperity, that I was not so willing to leave this scene 
 of sorrows as I used to be." The two remaining days of the 
 week, he was very ill, and complains of wanderings, dullness, 
 and want of spiritual fervency and sweetness. On the 
 Sabbath, he was confined by illness, not able to go out to 
 preach. After this, his illnessTncreased upon him, and he 
 continued very ill all the week ; and says, that " he thought 
 he never before endured such a season of distressing weak 
 ness ; that his nature was so spent, that he could neither 
 stand, sit, nor lie with any quiet ; that he was exercised with: 
 extreme faintness and sickness at his stomach ; that his mind 
 was as much disordered as his body, seeming to be stupid, 
 and without any kind of affections towards ail objects, and 
 yet perplexed, to think that he lived for nothing ; that pre 
 cious time rolled away and he could do nothing but trifle ; 
 and that it was a season wherein Satan buffeted him with some 
 peculiar temptations. On Tuesday of this week he wrote the 
 following to a friend. It indicates affections in no ordinary 
 degree chastened and spiritual. 
 
 " FORKS OF DELAWARE, /w/y 31, 1744. 
 
 " Certainly the greatest, the noblest pleasure of intelligent 
 
 creatures must result from their acquaintance with the blessed God, and 
 with their own rational and immortal souls. O, how divinely sweet and 
 entertaining is it, to look into our own souls, when we can find all our 
 powers and passions united and engaged in pursuit after God ; our whole 1 
 souls longing and passionately breathing after a conformity to him, and i 
 the full enjoyment of him ! Verily no hours pass away with so much di- ! 
 vine pleasure, as those which are spent in communing with God and our 
 own hearts. O, how sweet is a spirit of devotion, a spirit of seriousness 
 and divine solemnity, a spirit of Gospel simplicity, love and tenderness ! 
 C), how desirable, and how profitable to the Christian life, is a spirit of 
 holy watchfulness, and godly jealousy over ourselves, when our souls are 
 afraid of nothing so much as that we shall grieve and offend the blessed 
 God, whom at such times we apprehend, or at least hope to be a Father 
 and Friend ; whom we then love and long to please, rather than to be hap- 
 
II4 ; MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 py ourselves; or at least we delight to derive our happiness from pleasing 
 and glorifying him ! Surely this is a pious temper, worthy of the highest 
 ambition and closest pursuit of intelligent creatures and holy Christians. 
 O, how vastly superior are the pleasure, peace, and satisfaction derived 
 from these divine frames, to that which we, alas ! sometimes pursue in 
 things impertinent and trifling ! Our own bitter experience teaches us, 
 that in the midst of such laughter the heart is sorrowful, and there is 
 no true satisfaction but in God. But, alas! how shall we obtain and re 
 tain this sweet spirit of religion and devotion ! Let us follow the apostle s 
 direction, Phil. ii. 12., and labor upon the encouragement which he there 
 mentions, ver. 13. for it is God only can afford us this favor ; and he will 
 be sought too, and it is fit we should wait upon him for so rich a mercy. 
 O, may the God of all grace afford us the grace and influences of his di 
 vine Spirit; and help us that we may from our hearts esteem it our 
 greatest liberty and happiness, that Whether we live, we may live to 
 the Lord, or whether we die we may die to the Lord ; that in life and 
 death, we may be his ! 
 
 "I am in a very poor state of health; I think, scarce ever poorer ; 
 but, through divine goodness, I am not discontented under my weakness, 
 and confinement to this wilderness. I bless God for this retirement; I 
 never was more thankful for anything, than I have been of late for the 
 necessity I am under of self-denial in many respects. I love, to be a 
 pilgrim and stranger in this wilderness ; it seems most fit for sue poor, 
 ignorant, worthless, despised creature as I. I would not change my pres 
 ent mission for any other business in the whole world. I may tell you 
 freely, without vanity and ostentation, God has of late given me great 
 freedom and fervency in prayer, when I have been so weak and feeble that 
 j my nature seemed as if it would speedily dissolve. I feel as if my all 
 I was lost, and I was undone for this world, if the poor heathen may not 
 / be converted. I feel, in general, different from what I did, when I saw 
 you last ; at least more crucified to all the enjoyments of life. It would 
 be very refreshing to me to see you here in this desert ; especially in my 
 weak disconsolate hours ; but, I think, I could be content never to see 
 you, or any of my friends again in this world, if God would bless my 
 labors here to the conversion of the poor Indians. 
 
 \ "I have much that I could willingly communicate to you which I 
 must omit till Providence gives us leave to see each other. In the mean 
 time, I rest 
 
 " Your obliged friend and servant, 
 " DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 5. Am still very poor. But, though very weak. I 
 visited and preached to the poor I ndians twice, and was strengthened vastly 
 beyond my expectations. Indeed the Lord gave me some freedom and 
 fervency in addressing them ; though I had not strength enough to stand, 
 
ME MO IKS OF BRAINZRD. H 5 
 
 but was obliged to sit down the whole time. Towards night, was ex 
 tremely weak, faint, sick, and full of pain. I have continued much in the 
 same state I was in last week, through most of this, ( it being now Fri 
 day,) unable to engage in any business; frequently unable to pray in 
 the family. I am obliged to let all my thoughts and concerns run at 
 random ; for I have not strength to read, meditate, or pray ; and this 
 naturally perplexes my mind. I seem to myself like a man that has 
 all his estate embarked in one small boat, unhappily going adrift, 
 down a swift torrent. The poor owner stands on the shore, and looks, 
 and laments his loss. But, alas ! though my all seems to be adrift, and I 
 stand and see it, I dare not lament; for this sinks my spirits more, and 
 aggravates my bodily disorders! I am forced therefore to divert myself 
 with trifles ; although at the same time I am afraid, and often feel as if I 
 was guilty of the misimprovement of time. And oftentimes my con 
 science is so exercised, with this miserable way of spending time, that I 
 have no peace ; though I have no strength of mind or body to improve it 
 to better purpose. O that God would pity my distressed state ! " 
 
 The next three weeks, his illness was less severe ; and he 
 was in some degree capable of business, both public and 
 private ; though he had some turns wherein his indisposition 
 prevailed to a great degree. He had generally also much 
 mort, ..iward assistance, and strength of mind. He often 
 expresses great longings for the enlargement of Christ s 
 kingdom, especially by the conversion of the heathen to 
 God ; and speaks of this hope as all his delight and joy. _He 
 continues still to express his usual desires after holiness, 
 living to God, and a sense of his own unworthiness. He 
 several times speaks of his appearing to himself the vilest 
 creature on earth ; and once says, that he verily thought 
 there were none of God s children, who fell so far short of 
 that holiness, and perfection in their obedience, which God 
 requires, as he. He speaks of his feeling more dead than 
 ever to the enjoyments of the world. He sometimes mentions 
 the special assistance which he had at this time, in preaching 
 to the Indians, and the appearances of religious concern 
 among them. He speaks also of assistance in prayer for 
 absent friends, and especially ministers and candidates for 
 the ministry ; and of much comfort which he enjoyed in the 
 company of some ministers who came to visit him. 
 
! X 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 "Sept. i. Was so far strengthened, after a season of great weakness, 
 that I was able to spend two or three hours in writing on a divine subject. 
 Enjoyed some comfort and sweetness in things divine and sacred ; and as 
 my bodily strength was in some measure restored, so my soul seemed to 
 be somewhat vigorous, and engaged in the things of God. 
 
 "Lord s day Sept. 2. Was enabled to speak to my poor Indians with 
 mnch concern and fervency ; and I am persuaded, that God enabled me 
 to exercise faith in him, while I was speaking to them. I perceived that 
 some of them were afraid to hearken to and embrace Christianity, lest 
 they should be enchanted and poisoned by some of the powwows ; but I 
 was enabled to ple.id with them not to fear these ; and, confiding in God 
 for safety and deliverance, I bid a challenge to all these powers of dark 
 ness, to do their worst on me first. I told my people that I was a Chris 
 tian, and asked them why the powwows did not bewitch and poison me. I 
 scarcely ever felt more sensible of my own unvvorthiness,lhanin this action. 
 I saw that the honor of God was concerned in the affair ; and desired to 
 be preserved, not from selfish views, but for a testimony of the divine 
 power and goodness, and of the truth of Christianity, and that God might 
 be glorified. Afterwards, I found my soul rejoice in God for his assist 
 ing grace." 
 
 After this, he went a journey into New-England, and was 
 absent from the place of his abode, at the Forks of Delaware, 
 about three weeks. He was in a feeble state the greater 
 part of the time. But in the latter part of the journey, he 
 found that he gained much in health and strength. As to 
 the state of his mind, and his spiritual exercises, it was much 
 with him as usual in his journeys ; excepting that the 
 frame of his mind seemed more generally to be comfortable. 
 In his journey, he did not forget the Indians ; but once and 
 again speaks of his longing for their conversion. 
 
 " Sept. 26. Rode home to the Forks of Delaware. What reason have 
 I to bless God, who has preserved me in riding more than four hundred 
 and twenty miles, and has kept all my bones, that not one of them has 
 been broken ! My health likewise is greatly recovered. O that I could 
 dedicate my all to God ! This is all the return I can make to him. 
 
 "Sept. 27. Was somewhat melancholy ; had not much freedom and 
 comfort in prayer : my soul is disconsolate when God is withdrawn. 
 Sept. 28. Spent the day in prayer, reading, and writing. Felt some small 
 degree. of warmth in prayer, and some desires of the enlargement of 
 Christ s kingdom by the conversion of the Heathen, and that God would 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 1 1 7 
 
 make me a chosen vessel, to bear his name before them ; longed for 
 grace to enable me to be faithful." 
 
 The next day he speaks of the same earnest desires for the 
 advancement of Christ s kingdom by the conversion of the 
 Indians, but complains greatly of the ill effects of the diver 
 sions of his late journey, as unfixing his mind from that degree 
 cf engagedness, fervency, and watchfullness, which he enjoyed 
 before. The like complaints are continued the day after. 
 
 " Oct. i. Was engaged this day in making preparations for my intended 
 journey to the Susquehannah. Withdrew several times to the woods for 
 secret duties, and endeavored to plead for the divine presence to go with 
 me to the poor Pagans, to whom I was going to preach the gospel. To 
 wards night rode about four miles, and met brother Byram ; * who was 
 come, at my desire, to be my companion in travel to the Indians. I re 
 joiced to see him ; and, I trust, God made his conversation profitable to 
 me. I saw him, as I thought, more dead to the world ; its anxious cares, 
 and alluring objects, than I was : and this made me look within myself, 
 and gave me a greater sense of my guilt, ingratitude and misery. 
 
 " Oct. 2. Set out on my journey, in company with dear brother Byram, 
 and my interpreter, and two chief Indians from the Forks of Delaware. 
 Travelled about twenty-five miles, and lodged in one of the last houses 
 on our road ; after which there was nothing but a hideous and howling 
 wilderness. 
 
 " Oct. 3. We went on our way into the wilderness, and found the most 
 difficult and dangerous travelling, by far, that ever any of us had seen. 
 We had scarce anything else but lofty mountains, deep valleys, and hid 
 eous rocks, to make our way through. However, I felt some sweetness 
 in divine things, part of the day, and had my mind intensely engaged in 
 meditation on a divine subject, Near night my beast on which I rode, 
 hung one of her legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ; but through 
 divine goodness, I was not hurt. However, she broke her leg ; and being 
 in ruch a hideous place, and near thirty miles from any house, I saw noth 
 ing that could be done to perserve her life, and so was obliged to kill her, 
 and to prosecute my journey on foot. This accident made me admire 
 the divine goodness to me, that my bones were not broken, and the mul 
 titude of them filled with strong pain. Just at dark, we kindled a fire , cut 
 up a few bushes, and made a shelter over our heads, to save us from the 
 frost, which was very hard that night ; and committing ourselves to God 
 by prayer, we lay down on the ground, and slept quietly." 
 
 * Minuter at a place called Rockciticus, about forty miles from Brainerd s lodgings. 
 
I j 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 The next day, they went forward on their journey, and at 
 night took up their lodgings in the woods in like manner. 
 
 " Oct. 5. We reached the Susquehannah river, at a place called 
 Opeholhaupung, and found there twelve Indian houses. After I had 
 saluted the king in a friendly manner I told him my business, and that 
 my desire was to teach them Christianity. After some consultation, the 
 Indians gathered, and I preached to them. And when I had done, I 
 asked if they would hear me again. They replied, that they would consider 
 of it ; and soon after sent me word, that they would immediately attend, if 
 I would preach ; which I did, with freedom, both times. When I asked 
 them again, whether they would hear me further, they replied, they would 
 the next day. I was exceeding sensible of the impossibility of doing any 
 thing for the poor heathen without special assistance from above ; and 
 my soul seemed to rest on God, and leave it to him to do as he pleased in 
 that which I saw was his own cause. Indeed, though divine goodness, I 
 had felt somewhat of this frame most of the time while I was travelling 
 thither, and in some measure before I set out. 
 
 " Oct. 6. Rose early and besought the Lord for help in my great work. 
 Near noon, preached again to the Indians ; and in the afternoon, visited 
 them from house to house, and invited them to come and hear me again 
 the next day, and put off their hunting design, which they were just 
 entering upon, till Monday. This night, I trust, The Lord stood by 
 me, to encourage and.strengthen my soul ; I spent .more than an hour 
 in secret retirement ; was enabled to pour out my heart before God, 
 for the increase of grace in my soul, for ministerial endowments, for suc 
 cess among the poor Indians, for God s ministers and people, for distant 
 dear friends, etc. Blessed be God." 
 
 The next day, he complains of great want of fixedness and 
 intenseness in religion, so that he could not keep any spirit 
 ual thought one minute without distraction ; which occasioned 
 anguish of spirit. He felt amazingly guilty, and extremely 
 miserable; and cries out, "O, my soul, what death it is, to 
 have the affections unable to centre in God, by reason of 
 darkness, and consequent roving after that satisfaction else 
 where, that is only to be found here ! " However, he preached 
 twice to the Indians with considerable freedom and power ; 
 but was afterwards damped by the objections they made against 
 Christianity. In the evening, in a sense of his great defects 
 in preaching, he " intreated God not to impute to him blood- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ! ! 9 
 
 guiltiness ; " but yet was at the same time enabled to rejoice 
 in God. 
 
 " Oct. 8. Visited the Indians with a design to take my leave of them, 
 supposing they would this morning go out to hunting early ; but beyond 
 my expectation and hope, they desired to hear me preach again. I gladly 
 complied with their request, and afterwards endeavored to answer their 
 objections against Christianity. Then they went away ; and we spent the 
 rest of the afternoon in reading and prayer, intending to go homeward 
 very early the next day. My soul was in some measure refreshed in 
 secret prayer and meditation. Blessed be the Lord for all his goodness." 
 
 " Oct. 9. We rose about four in the morning, and, commending our 
 selves to God by prayer, and asking his special protection, we set out on 
 our journey homewards about five, and travelled with great steadiness 
 till past six at night ; and then made us a fire, and a shelter of barks and 
 so rested. I had some clear and comfortable thoughts on a divine sub 
 ject, by the way, towards night. In the night, the wolves howled around 
 us ; but God preserved us." 
 
 The next day, they rose early, and traveled till they came 
 to an Irish settlement, with which Brainerd was acquainted, 
 and lodged there. He speaks of some sweetness in divine 
 things, and thankfulness to God for his goodness to 
 him in this journey, though attended with shame for his 
 barrenness. On Thursday both he and Mr. Byram preached 
 to the people. 
 
 " Oct. 12. Rode home to my lodgings; where I poured out my soul 
 to God in secret prayer, and endeavored to bless him for his abundant 
 goodness to me in my late journey. I scarcely ever enjoyed more health, 
 at least of later years ; and God marvellously, and almost miraculously, 
 supported me under the fatigues of the way, and traveling on foot. 
 Blessed be the Lord who continually preserves me in all my ways." 
 
 On Saturday, he went again to the Irish settlement, to 
 spend the Sabbath there, his Indians being gone. 
 
 " Lord s Day, Oct. 14. Was much confused and perplexed in my 
 thoughts ; could not pray ; and was almost discouraged, thinking I should 
 never be able to preach any more. Afterwards, God was pleased to give 
 me some relief from these confusions ; but still I was afraid, and even 
 troubled before God. I went to the place of public worship, lifting up 
 my heart to God for assistance and grace, in my great work : and God 
 was gracious to me, helping me to plead with him for holiness, and to* 
 
120 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 use the strongest arguments with him, drawn from the incarnation and 
 sufferings of Christ for this very end, that men might be made holy. 
 Afterwards, I was much assisted in preaching. I know not that ever God 
 helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing manner for the 
 trial of men s state. Through the infinite goodness of God, I felt what I 
 spoke ; he enabled me to treat on divine truth with uncommon clear 
 ness ; and yet I was so sensible of my defects in preaching, that I could 
 not be proud of my performance, as at some times ; and blessed be the 
 Lord for this mercy. In the evening I longed to be entirely alone, to 
 bless God for help in a time of extremity ; and longed for great degrees 
 of holiness, that I might show my gratitude to God." 
 
 The next morning, he spent some time before sunrise in 
 prayer, in the same sweet and grateful frame of mind, that he 
 had been in the evening before ; and, afterwards, went to his 
 Indians, and spent some time in teaching and exhorting 
 them. 
 
 " Oct. 16. Felt a spirit of solemnity and watchfulness ; was afraid I 
 should not live to and upon God ; longed for more intenseness and 
 spirituality. Spent the day in writing; frequently lifting up my heart 
 to God for more heavenly mindeclness. In the evening, enjoyed sweet 
 assistance in prayer; thirsted and pleaded to be as holy as the blessed 
 angels ; longed for ministerial gifts and graces, and success in my work ; 
 was sweetly assisted in the duty of intercession ; and enabled to remem 
 ber and plead for numbers of dear friends, and of Christ s ministers. 
 
 " Oct. 19. Felt an abasing sense of my own impurity and unholiness : 
 and felt my soul melt and mourn, that I had abused and grieved a very 
 gracious God, who was still kind to me, notwithstanding all my unworthi- 
 ness. My soul enjoyed a sweet season of bitter repentance and sorrow, 
 that I had wronged that blessed God, who, I was persuaded, was recon 
 ciled to me in his dear Son. My soul was now tender, devout, and 
 solemn. And I was afraid of nothing but sin ; and afraid of that in every 
 action and thought. 
 
 " Oct. 24. Near noon, rode to my people ; spent some time and 
 prayed with them ; felt the frame of a pilgrim on ea.th; longed much to 
 leave this gloomy mansion ; but yet found the exercise of patience and 
 resignation. And, as I returned home from the Indians, spent the whole 
 time in lifting up my heart to God. In the evening, enjoyed a blessed 
 season alone in prayer ; was enabled to cry to God with a childlike 
 spirit, for the space of near an hour ; enjoyed a sweet freedom in suppli 
 cating for myself, for dear friends, ministers, and some who are preparing 
 for that work, and for the church of God ; and longed to be as lively my 
 self in God s service as the angels. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 121 
 
 " Oct. 25. Was busy in writing. Was very sensible of my absolute 
 dependence on God in all respects ; saw that I could do nothing, even in 
 those affairs for which I have sufficient natural faculties, unless God 
 should smile on my attempt. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves, 
 to think any thing as of ourselves, I saw was a sacred truth. 
 
 " Oct. 26. In the morning, my soul was melted with a sense of divine 
 goodness and mercy to such a vile unworthy worm. I delighted to lean 
 upon God, and place my whole trust in him. My soul was exceedingly 
 grieved for sin, and prized, and longed after holiness ; it wounded my 
 heart deeply, yet sweetly, to think how I had abused a kind God. I 
 longed to be perfectly holy, that I might not grieve a gracious God ; who 
 will continue to love, notwithstanding his love is abused ! I longed for 
 holiness more for this end, than I did for my own happiness sake ; and 
 yet this was my greatest happiness, never more to dishonor, but always to 
 glorify the blessed God. Afterwards, rode up to the Indians, in the after 
 noon, etc." 
 
 The next few days, he was exercised with much disorder 
 and pain of body, with a degree of melancholy and gloomi 
 ness of mind, bitterly complaining of deadness and unprofit 
 ableness, yet longing after God. 
 
 " Oct. 31. Was sensible of my barrenness and decay in the things of 
 God ; my soul failed when I remembered the fervency which I had 
 enjoyed at the throne of grace. O, I thought, if I could but be spiritual, 
 warm, heavenly-minded, and affectionately breathing after God, this 
 would be better than life to me ! My soul longed exceedingly for death, 
 to be loosed from this dullness and barrenness, and made for ever active 
 in the service of God. I seemed to live for nothing, and to do no good; 
 and O, the burden of such a life ! O death, death, my kind friend, hasten, 
 and deliver me from dull mortality, and make me spiritual and vigorous 
 to eternity. 
 
 "A bz . i. Had but little sweetness in divine things; but afterwards, in 
 the evening, felt some life and longings after God. I longed to be al 
 ways solemn, devout, and heavenly-minded ; and was afraid to leave off 
 praying, lest I should again lose a sense of the sweet things of God. 
 
 " A or>. 2. Was filled with sorrow and confusion in the morning, and 
 could enjoy no sweet sense of divine things, nor get any relief in prayer. 
 Saw I deserved that every one of God s creatures should be let loose, to 
 be the executioners of his wrath against me ; and yet therein saw I de 
 served what I did not fear as my portion. About noon, rode up to the 
 Indians ; and while going, could feel no desires for them, and even 
 dreaded to say anything to them; but God was pleased to give me some 
 
122 MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 
 
 freedom and enlargement, and made the season comfortable to me. In 
 the evening, had enlargement in prayer. But, alas ! what comforts and 
 enlargements I have felt for these many weeks past have been only tran 
 sient and short ; and the greater part of my time has been filled up with 
 deadness, or struggles with deadness, and bitter conflicts with corruption. 
 I have found myself exercised sorely with some particular things that I 
 thought myself most of all freed from. And thus I have ever found it, 
 when I have thought the battle was over, and the conquest gained, and so 
 let down my watch, the enemy has risen up and done me the greatest in 
 jury. 
 
 11 Nov. 3. I read the life and trials of a godly man, and was much 
 warmed by it; I wondered at my past deadness; and was more convinced 
 of it than ever. Was enabled to confess and bewail my sin before God, 
 with self-abhorrence. Lord s day, Nov. 4. Had, I think, some exercise 
 of faith in prayer, in the morning ; longed to be spiritual Had con 
 siderable help in preaching to my poor Indians ; was encouraged with 
 them, and hoped that God designed mercy for them." 
 
 His letter to the Rev. Mr. Pemberton of New York, giv 
 ing, by request, some account of his missionary labors and 
 success, both at KaunaUmeek and at the Forks of Delaware. 
 
 " FORKS OF DELAWARE, Nov. 5. 1744. 
 
 " REV. SIR: 
 
 " Since you are pleased to require of me some brief and general ac 
 count of my conduct in the affair of my mission among the Indians; the 
 pains and endeavors I have used to propagate Christian knowledge among 
 them; the difficulties I have met with in pursuance of that great work; and 
 the hopeful and encouraging appearances I have observed in any of them; 
 I shall now endeavor to answer your demands, by giving a brief but faith 
 ful account of the most material things relating to that important affair, 
 with which I have been and am still concerned. This I shall do with 
 more freedom and cheerfulness, both because I apprehend it will be a 
 likely means to give pious persons, who are concerned for the kingdom of 
 Christ, some just apprehension of the many and great difficulties that at 
 tend the propagation of it among the poor Pagans; and consequently, it 
 5s hoped, will engage their more frequent and fervent prayers to God, that 
 those may be succeeded, who are employed in this arduous work. ] <- 
 sides, I persuade myself, that the tidings of the gospel spreading amonij 
 the poor heathen, will be, to those who are waiting for the accomplish 
 ment of the glorious things spoken of the city of our God, as good 
 news from a far country; and that these will be so far from despising 
 the day of small things, that, on the contrary, the least dawn of encourage 
 ment and hope, in this important affair, will rather inspire their pious 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINF.RD. 123 
 
 breasts with more generous and warm desires, that the kingdoms of this 
 world, may speedily become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ. 
 I shall therefore immediately proceed to the business before me, and 
 briefly touch upon the most important matters that have concerned my 
 mission, from the beginning to this present time. 
 
 "On March 15, 1743, I waited on the Correspondents for the Indian 
 mission at New York; and the week following, attended their meeting at 
 \Voodbridge, in New Jersey, and was speedily dismissed by them with 
 orders to attempt the instruction of a number of Indians in a place some 
 miles distant from the city of Albany. And on the first day of April follow 
 ing, I arrived among the Indians, at a place called by them Kaunaumeek, 
 in the county of Albany, nearly twenty miles distant from the city eastward. 
 " The place, as to its situation, was sufficiently lonesome and unpleasant, 
 being encompassed with mountains and woods; twenty miles distant from 
 any English inhabitants; six or seven from any Dutch ; and more than two 
 from a family that came some time since, from the Highlands of Scotland, 
 and had then lived, as I remember, about two years in this wilderness. In 
 this family I lodged about the space of three months, the master of it 
 being the only person with whom I could readily converse in those parts, 
 except my interpreter ; others understanding very little English. 
 
 " After I had spent about three months in this situation, I found my 
 distance from the Indians a very great disadvantage to my work among 
 them, and very burdensome to myself ; as I was obliged to travel forward 
 and backward almost daily on foot, having no pasture in which I could 
 keep my horse for that purpose. And after all my pains, could not be 
 with the Indians in the evening and morning, which were usually the 
 best hours to find them at home, and when they could best attend my in 
 structions. I therefore resolved to remove, and live with or near the 
 Indians, that I might watch all opportunities, when they were generally at 
 home, and take the advantage of such seasons for their instructions. 
 
 "Accordingly I removed soon after; and, for some time, lived with 
 them in one of their wigwams ; and, not long after, built me a small house, 
 where I spent the remainder of that year entirely alone ; my interpreter, 
 who was an Indian, choosing rather to live in a wigwam among his own 
 countrymen. This way of living I found attended with many difficulties, and 
 uncomfortable circumstances, in a place where I could get none of the 
 necessaries and common comforts of life, (no, not so much as a morsel 
 of bread,) but what I brought from places fifteen and twenty miles distant, 
 and oftentimes was obliged, for some time together, to content myself 
 without, for want of an opportunity to procure the things I needed. 
 
 "But although the difficulties of this solitary way of living are not the 
 least, or most inconsiderable, (and doubtless are, in fact, many more and 
 greater to those who experience, than they can readily appear to those 
 
I 24 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 who only view them at a distance,) yet I can truly say that the burden I 
 felt respecting my great work among the poor Indians, the fear and con 
 cern that continually hung upon my spirit, lest they should be prejudiced 
 against Christianity, and their minds imbittered against me, and my labors 
 among them by means of the insinuations of some who, althcugh they are 
 called Christians, seem to have no concern for Christ s kingdom, but had 
 rather (as their conduct plainly discovers) that the Indians should remain 
 heathens, that they may with the more ease cheat, and so enrich them 
 selves by them were much more pressing to me, than all the difficulties 
 that attended the circumstances of my living. 
 
 " As to the state or temper of mind in which I found these Indians, 
 at my first coming among them, I may justly say, it was much more de 
 sirable and encouraging, than what appears among those who are altogether 
 uncultivated. Their heathenish jealousies and suspicion, and their pre 
 judices against Christianity, were in a great measure removed by the long- 
 continued labors of the Reverend Mr. Sergeant among a number of the 
 same tribe, in a place little more than twenty miles distant. Hence, these 
 were, in some good degree, prepared to entertain the truths of Christianity, 
 instead of objecting against them, and appearing almost entirely untract- 
 able, as is common with them at first, and as, perhaps, these appeared a 
 few years ago. Some of them, at least, appeared very well disposed 
 towards religion, and seemed much pleased with my coming among them. 
 
 " In my labors with them, in order to turn them from darkness to 
 light, I studied what was most plain and easy, and best suited to their 
 capacities ; and endeavored to set before them from time to time, as they 
 were able to receive them, the most important and necessary truths of 
 Christianity, such as most immediately concerned their speedy conver 
 sion to God, and such as I judged had the greatest tendency, as means, 
 to effect that glorious change in them. But especially I made it the 
 scope and drift of all my labors, to lead them into a thorough acquaint 
 ance with these two things. First, The sinfulness and misery of the estate 
 they were naturally in ; the evil of their hearts, the pollution of their 
 natures; the heavy guilt they were under, and their exposedness to ever 
 lasting punishment ; as also their utter inability to save themselves, 
 either from their sins, or from those miseries which are the just punish 
 ment of them ; and their unworthiness of any mercy at the hand of God, 
 on account of anything they themselves could do to procure his favor, 
 and consequently their extreme need of Christ to save them. And, 
 secondly, I frequently endeavored to open to them the fullness, all-suffi 
 ciency, and freeness of that redemption, which the Son of God has wrought 
 out by his obedience and sufferings, for perishing sinners; how this pro 
 vision he had made, was suited to all their wants ; and how he called 
 and invited them to accept of everlasting life freely, notwithstanding all 
 their sinfulness, inability, unworthiness, etc. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 I2 5 
 
 " After I had been with the Indians several months, I composed sundry 
 forms of prayer, adapted to their circumstances and capacities ; which, 
 with the help of my interpreter, I translated into the Indian language; 
 and soon learned to pronounce their words, so as to pray with them in 
 their own tongue. I also translated sundry psalms into their language, 
 and soon after we were able to sing in the worship of God. 
 
 " When my people had gained some acquaintance with many of the 
 truths of Christianity, so that they were capable of receiving and under 
 standing many others, which at first could not be taught them, by reason 
 of their ignorance of those that were necessary to be previously known, 
 and upon which others depended ; I then gave them an historical account 
 of God s dealings with his ancient professing people the Jews ; some of 
 the rites and ceremonies they were obliged to observe, as their sacrifices, 
 etc. ; and what these were designed to represent to them ; as also some 
 of the surprising miracles God wrought for their salvation, while they 
 trusted in him, and sore punishments he sometimes brought upon them, 
 when they forsook and sinned against him. Afterwards I proceeded to 
 give them a relation of the birth, life, miracles, sufferings, death, and 
 resurrection of Christ ; as well as his ascension, and the wonderful 
 effusion of the holy Spirit consequent thereupon. 
 
 " And having thus endeavored to prepare the way by such a general 
 account of things, I next proceeded to read and expound to them the 
 gospel of St. Matthew (at least the substance of it) in course, wherein 
 they had a more distinct and particular view of what theyjiad before 
 some general notion. These expositions I attended almost every even 
 ing, when there was any considerable number of them at home ; except 
 when I was obliged to be absent myself, in order to learn the Indian 
 language with the Rev. Mr. Sergeant. Besides these means of instruc 
 tion, there was likewise an English school constantly kept by my inter 
 preter among the Indians ; which I used frequently to visit, in order to 
 give the children and young people some proper instructions, and serious 
 exhortations suited to their age. The degree of knowledge to which 
 some of them attained, was considerable. Many of the truths of Chris 
 tianity seemed fixed in their minds, especially in some instances, so that 
 they would speak to me of them, and ask such questions about them, as 
 were necessary to render them more plain and clear to their understand 
 ings. The children, also, and young people, who attended the school, 
 made considerable proficiency (at least some of them) in their learning ; 
 so that had they understood the English language well, they would have 
 been able to read somewhat readily in a psalter. 
 
 " But that which was most of all desirable, and gave me the greatest 
 encouragement amidst many difficulties and disconsolate hours, was, that 
 the truths of God s word seemed, at times, to be attended with some 
 
1 2 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 power upon the hearts and consciences of the Indians. And especially 
 this appeared evident in a few instances, who were awakened to some 
 sense of their miserable estate by nature, and appeared solicitous for 
 deliverance from it. Several of them came, of their own accord, to dis 
 course with me about their soul s concerns ; and some, with tears, in 
 quired what they should do to be saved ? and whether the God that 
 Christians served, would be merciful to those that had been frequently 
 drunk, etc. 
 
 * And although I cannot say that I have satisfactory evidences of 
 their being renewed in the spirit of their mind, and savingly converted 
 to God ; yet the spirit of God did, I apprehend, in such a manner at 
 tend the means of grace, and so operate upon their minds thereby, as 
 might justly afford matter of encouragement, to hope that God designed 
 good to them, and that he was preparing his way into their souls. 
 
 " There likewise appeared a reformation in the lives and manners of 
 the Indians. Their idolatrous sacrifices (of which there was but one or 
 two, that I know of, after my coming among them) were wholly laid 
 aside. And their heathenish custom of dancing, hallooing, etc., they 
 seemed in a considerable measure to have abandoned. And I could not 
 but hope, that they were reformed in some measure from the sin of 
 drunkenness. They likewise manifested a regard for the Lord s day, and 
 not only behaved soberly themselves, but took care also to keep their 
 children in order. 
 
 " Yet, after all, I must confess, that as there were many hopeful ap 
 pearances among them, so there were some things more discouraging. 
 And while I rejoiced to observe any seriousness and concern among them 
 about the affairs of their souls, still I was not without continual fear and 
 concern, lest such encouraging appearances might prove like a morning 
 cloud, that passeth away. 
 
 " When I had spent near a year with the Indians, I informed them 
 that I expected to leave them in the spring then approaching, and to be 
 sent to another tribe of Indians, at a great distance from them. On 
 hearing this, they appeared very sorrowful, and some of them endeavored 
 to persuade me to continue with them ; urging that they had now heard 
 so much about their souls concerns, that they could never more be will 
 ing to live as they had done, without a minister, and further instructions 
 in the way to heaven, etc. Whereupon I told them, they ought to be 
 willing that others also should hear about their souls concerns, seeing 
 those needed it as much as themselves. Yet further to dissuade me 
 from going, they added, that those Indians, to whom I had thoughts of 
 going (as they had heard) were not willing to become Christians as they 
 were, and therefore urged me to tarry with them. I then told them, that 
 they might receive further instruction without me ; but the Indians to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 127 
 
 whom I expected to be sent, could not, there being no minister near to 
 teach them. And hereupon I advised them in case I should leave them, 
 and be sent elsewhere, to remove to Stockbridge, where they might be 
 supplied with land, and conveniences of living, and be under the ministry 
 of the Rev. Mr. Sergeant : with which advice and proposal, they seemed 
 disposed to comply. 
 
 " April 6, 1744, I was directed by the correspondents for the Indian 
 mission, to take leave of the people, with whom I had then spent a full 
 year, and to go, as soon as convenient, to a tribe of Indians on Dela 
 ware river in Pennsylvania. 
 
 " These orders I soon attended, and on April 2Qth took leave of my 
 people, who were mostly removed to Stockbridge under the care of the 
 Rev. Mr. Sergeant. I then set out on my journey towards Delaware ; 
 and on May loth met with a number of Indians in a place called Miunis- 
 sinks, about a hundred and forty miles from Kaunaumeek, (the place 
 where I spent the last year,) and directly in my way to Delaware river. 
 With these Indians I spent some time, and first addressed their king in a 
 friendly manner ; and after some discourse, and attempts to contract a 
 friendship with him, I told him I had a desire (for his benefit and happi 
 ness) to instruct them in Christianity. At which he laughed, turned his 
 back upon me, and went away. I then addressed another principal man 
 in the same manner, who said he was willing to hear me. After some 
 time, I followed the king into his house, and renewed my discourse to 
 him ; but he declined talking, and left the affair to another, who appeared 
 to be a rational man. lie began, and talked very warmly near a quarter 
 of an hour together ; he inquired why I desired the Indians to become 
 Christians, seeing the Christians were so much worse than the Indians are 
 in their present state. The Christians, he said, would lie, steal, and drink, 
 worse than the Indians. It was they first taught the Indains to be drunk : 
 and they stole from one another, to that degree, that their rulers were 
 obliged to hang them for it, and that was not sufficient to deter others from 
 the like practice. But the Indians, he added, were none of them ever 
 hanged for stealing, and yet they did not steal half so much ; and he sup 
 posed that if the Indians should become Christians, they would then be 
 as bad as these. And hereupon he said, they would live as their fathers 
 lived, and go where their fathers were when they died. I then freely 
 owned, lamented and joined with him in condemning the ill conduct of 
 some who are called Christians; told him, these were not Christians in 
 heart; that I hated such wicked practices, and did not desire the Indians 
 to become such as these. And when he appeared calmer, I asked him if 
 he was willing that I should come and see them again ? He replied, he 
 should be willing to see me again, as a friend, if I would not desire them 
 to become Christians. I then bid them farewell, and prosecuted my jour- 
 
I2 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 ney towards Delaware. And May i3th, I arrived at a place called by the 
 Indians Sakhauwotung, within the Forks of Delaware in Pennsylvania. 
 
 " Here also, when I came to the Indians, I saluted their king, and 
 others, in a manner I thought most engaging. And soon after informed 
 the king of my desire to instruct them in the Christian religion. After 
 he had consulted a few minutes with two or three old men, he told me he 
 was willing to hear. I then preached to those few that were present; who 
 appeared very attentive and well disposed. And the king in particular 
 seemed both to wonder, and at the same time to be well pleased with what 
 I taught them, respecting the divine Being, etc. And since that time he 
 has ever shown himself friendly to me, giving me free liberty to preach 
 in his house, whenever I think fit. Here therefore I have spent the 
 greater part of the summer past, preaching usually in the king s house. 
 
 "The number of Indians in this place is but small ; most of those 
 that formerly belonged here, arc dispersed, and removed to places farther 
 back in the country. There are not more than ten houses hereabouts, 
 that continue to be inhabited ; and some of these are several miles dis 
 tant from others, which makes it difficult for the Indians to meet to 
 gether so frequently as could be desired. When I first began to preach here, 
 the number of my hearers was very small ; often not exceeding twenty or 
 twenty-five persons; but towards the latter part of the summer, their 
 number increased, so that I have frequently had forty persons, or more, 
 at once ; and oftentimes most belonging to those parts, came together to 
 hear me preach. 
 
 " The effects which the truths of God s word have had upon some of 
 the Indians in this place, are somewhat encouraging. Sundry of them 
 are brought to renounce idolatry, and to decline partaking of those feasts 
 which they used to offer in sacrifice to certain supposed unknown powers. 
 And some few among them have, for a considerable time, manifested a 
 serious concern for their souls eternal welfare, and still continue to in 
 quire the way to Zion, with such diligence, affection, and becoming 
 solicitude, as gives me reason to hope that God who, I trust, has begun 
 this work in them, will carry it on, until it shall issue in their saving con 
 version to himself. These not only detest their old idolatrous notions, 
 but strive also to bring their friends off from them. And as they arc 
 seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem desirous, and some of 
 them take pains, that others might be excited to do the like. 
 
 " In July last I heard of a number of Indians residing at a place called 
 Kaukscsauchung, more than thirty miles westward from the place where 
 I usually preach. I visited them, found about thirty persons, and pro 
 posed my desire of preacVng to them ; they readilv complied, and I 
 preached to them only twice, they being just then removing from this 
 place where they only lived for the present, to Susquehannah-river, where 
 thev belonged. 
 
MEMOIRS OF DRAINERD. 
 
 129 
 
 " While I was preaching, they appeared sober and attentive ; and 
 were somewhat surprised, having never before heard of these things. 
 There were two or three who suspected that I had some ill design upon 
 them ; and urged, that the white people had abused them, and taken 
 their lands from them, and therefore they had no reason to think that they 
 were now concerned for their happiness ; but, on the contrary, that they 
 designed to make them slaves, or get them on board their vessels, and 
 make them fight with the people over the water, (as they expressed it,) 
 meaning the French and Spaniards. However, the most of them ap 
 peared very friendly, and told me, they were then going directly home to 
 Susquehannah, and desired I would make them a visit there, and mani 
 fested a considerable desire of further instruction. This invitation gave 
 me some encouragement in my great work : and made me hope, that God 
 designed to open an effectual door to me for spreading the gospel 
 among the poor Heathen farther westward. 
 
 " In the beginning of October last, with the advice and direction of 
 the correspondents for the Indian mission, I undertook a journey to Sus 
 quehannah. And after three days tedious travel, two of them through a 
 wilderness almost impassable, by reason of mountains and rocks, and 
 two nights lodging in the open wilderness, I came to an Indian settle 
 ment on the side of Susquehannah river, called Opeholhaupung; where 
 were twelve Indian houses, and about seventy souls, old and young. 
 
 " Here also, soon after my arrival, I visited the king, addressing him 
 with expressions of kindness ; and after a few words of friendship, in 
 formed him of my desire to teach them the knowledge of Christianity. 
 He hesitated not long before he told me, that he was willing to hear. I 
 then preached ; and continued there several days, preaching every day, 
 as long as the Indians were at home. And they, in order to hear me, 
 deferred the design of their general hunting (which they were just then 
 entering upon) for three or four days. 
 
 " The men, I think universally, (except one) attended my preaching. 
 Only the women, supposing the affair we were upon was of a public 
 nature, belonging only to the men, and not what every individual person 
 should concern himself with, could not readily be persuaded to come and 
 hear ; but, after much pains used with them for that purpose, some few 
 ventured to come, and stand at a distance. 
 
 " When I had preached to the Indians several times, some of them 
 very frankly proposed what they had to object against Christianity ; and 
 so gave me a fair opportunity for using my best endeavors to remove 
 from their minds those scruples and jealousies they labored under : and 
 when I had endeavored to answer their objections, some appeared much 
 satisfied. I then asked the king if he was willing I should visit and 
 preach to them again, if I should live to the next spring ? He replied, 
 
130 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 he should be heartily willing, for his own part, and added, he wished the 
 young people would learn, etc. I then put the same question to the rest; 
 some answered they would be very glad, and none manifested any dislike 
 to it. 
 
 " There were sundry other things in their behavior, which appeared 
 with a comfortable and encouraging aspect ; that, upon the whole, I 
 could not but rejoice I had taken that journey among them, although it 
 was attended with many difficulties and hardships. The method I used 
 with them, and the instructions I gave them, I am persuaded, were 
 means, in some measure, to remove their heathenish jealousies and pre 
 judices against Christianity; and I could not but hope, the God of all 
 grace was preparing their minds to receive the truth, as it is in Jesus. 
 If this may be the happy consequence, I shall not only rejoice in my past 
 labors and fatigues, but shall, I trust, also be willing to spend and be 
 spent, if I may thereby be instrumental to turn them from darkness to 
 light, and from the power of Satan to God. 
 
 * Thus, Sir, I have given you a faithful account of what has been 
 most considerable respecting my mission among the Indians ; in which I 
 have studied all convenient brevity. I shall only now take leave to add a 
 word or two respecting the difficulties that attend the Christianizing of 
 these poor Pagans. 
 
 " In the first place, their minds are filled with prejudices against 
 Christianity, on account of the vicious lives, and unchristian behavior of 
 some that are called Christians. These not only set before them the 
 worst examples, but some of them take pains, expressly in words, to dis 
 suade them from becoming Christians; foreseeing, that if these should 
 be converted to God, the hope of their unlawful gain, would thereby 
 be lost. 
 
 " Again, these poor heathens are extremely attached to the customs, 
 traditions, and fabulous notions of their fathers. And this one seems to 
 be the foundation of all their other notions, viz. that it was not the same 
 God made them, who made the white people, but another, who com 
 manded them to live by hunting, etc., and not to conform to the customs 
 of the white people. Hence, when they are desired to become Chris 
 tians, they frequently reply, that they will live as their fathers lived, 
 and go to their fathers when they die. And if the miracles of Christ 
 and his apostles be mentioned, to prove the truth of Christianity, they 
 also mention sundry miracles, which their fathers have told them were 
 anciently wrought among the Indians, and which Satan makes them be 
 lieve were so. They are much attached to idolatry ; frequently making 
 feasts, which they eal in honor to some unknown beings, who, they sup 
 pose, speak to them in dreams ; promising them success in hunting, and 
 other affairs, in case they will sacrifice to them. They oftentimes, also, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 13! 
 
 offer their sacrifices to the spirits of the dead ; who. they suppose, stand 
 in need of favors from the living, and yet are in such a state as that they 
 can well reward all the offices of kindness that are shown them. And 
 th3y impute all their calamities to the neglect of these sacrifices. 
 
 " Furthermore, they are much awed by those among themselves, who 
 are called powwows, who are supposed to have a power of enchanting, or 
 poisoning them to death, or, at least, in a very distressing manner. And 
 they apprehend, it would be their sad fate to be thus enchanted, in case 
 they should become Christians. 
 
 "Lastly, the manner of their living is likewise a great disadvantage to 
 the design of their being Christianized. They are almost continually 
 roving from place to place; and it is but rare that an opportunity can be 
 had with some of them for their instruction. There is scarce any time of 
 the year, wherein the men can be found generally at home, except about six 
 weeks before, and in the season of planting their corn, and about two 
 months in the latter part of summer, from the time they begin to roast 
 their corn, until it is fit to gather in. 
 
 " As to the hardships that necessarily attend a mission among them, 
 the fatigues of frequent journeying in the wilderness, the unpleasantness 
 of a mean and hard way of living, and the great difficulty of addressing 
 a people of a strange language, these I shall, at present, pass over in 
 silence; designing what I have already said of difficulties attending this 
 work, not for the discouragement of any, but rather for the incitement of 
 all who Move the appearing of the kingdom of Christ, to frequent the 
 throne of grace with earnest supplications, that the heathen, who were 
 anciently promised to Christ for his inheritance, may now actually and 
 speedily be brought into his kingdom of grace, and made heirs of im 
 mortal glory. 
 
 I am, Sir, 
 
 " Your obedient, humble servant, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 The same day, Nov. 5, he set out on a journey to New 
 York, to the meeting of the Presbytery there ; and was from 
 home more than a fortnight. He seemed to enter on this 
 journey with great reluctance ; fearing that the diversions of 
 it would prove a means of cooling his religious affections, as 
 he had found in other journeys. Yet, in this journey, he had 
 some special seasons wherein he enjoyed extraordinary evi 
 dences and fruits of God s gracious presence. He was 
 greatly fatigued, and exposed to cold and storms ; and when 
 he returned from New York to New Jersey, on Friday 
 
1 3 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 was taken very ill, and was detained by his illness some 
 time. 
 
 "Nov. 21. Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the cold, and was 
 almost overcome with it. Enjoyed some sweetness in conversation with 
 dear Mr. Jones, while I dined with him. My soul loves the people of 
 God, and especially the ministers of Jesus Christ, who feel the same trials 
 that I do. 
 
 "Nov. 22. Came on my way from Rockciticus to the Delaware. Was 
 very much disordered with a cold and pain in my head. About six at 
 night, I lost my way in the wilderness, and wandered over rocks, and 
 mountains, down hideous steeps, through swamps, and most dreadful and 
 dangerous places; and, the night being dark, so that few stars could be 
 seen, I was greatly exposed. I was much pinched with cold, and dis 
 tressed with an extreme pain in my head, attended with sickness at my 
 stomach ; so that every step I took was distressing to me. I had little 
 hope for several hours together, but that I must lie out in the woods all 
 night, in this distressed case. But about nine o clock, I found a house 
 through the abundant goodness of God, and was kindly entertained. 
 Thus I have frequently been exposed, and sometimes lain out the whole 
 night: but God has hitherto preserved me; and blessed be his name. 
 Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to wean me from the earth ; 
 and, I trust, will make heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus 
 exposed to cold, rain, etc. I was ready to please myself with the thoughts 
 of enjoying a comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward com 
 forts ; but now these have less place in my heart, (through the grace of 
 God,) and my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world I expect 
 tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, appear strange to me. I do 
 not in such seasons of difficulty flatter myself that it will be better 
 hereafter: but rather think how much worse it might be; how much 
 greater trials others of God s children have endured ; and how much 
 greater are yet perhaps reserved for me. Blessed be God, that he makes 
 the thoughts of my journey s end, and of my dissolution, a great comfort 
 to me, under my sharpest trials ; and scarce ever lets these thoughts be 
 attended with terror or melancholy ; but they are attended frequently with 
 great joy. 
 
 " Nov. 23. Visited a sick man; discoursed and prayed with him. 
 Then visited another house, where one was dead and laid out ; looked on 
 the corpse, and longed that my time might come to depart, that I might 
 be with Christ. Then went home to my lodgings, about one o clock. 
 Felt poorly ; but was able to read most of the afternoon." 
 
 During the next twelve days, he passed under many 
 changes in the frames and exercises of his mind. He had 
 
MEMOIRS OF DRAINER D. 133 
 
 many seasons of the special influences of God s Spirit, 
 animating, invigorating, and comforting him in the ways of 
 God and the duties of religion ; but had some turns of great 
 dejection and melancholy. He spent much of this time in 
 hard labor, with others, to make for himself a little cottage or 
 hut, to live in by himself through the winter. Yet he fre 
 quently preached to the Indians, and speaks of special as 
 sistance which he had formed from time to time, in address 
 ing himself to them ; and of his sometimes having considerable 
 encouragement from the attention which they gave. But 
 December 4, he was sunk into great discouragement, to see 
 most of them going in company to an idolatrous feast and 
 dance, after he had taken abundant pains to dissuade them 
 from these things. 
 
 " Dec. 6. Having now a happy opportunity of being retired in a 
 house of my own, which I have lately procured and moved into ; con 
 sidering that it is now a long time since I have been able, either on 
 account of bodily weakness, or for want of retirement, or some other 
 difficulty to spend any time in secret fasting and prayer ; considering also 
 the greatness of my work, the extreme difficulties that attend it, and that 
 my poor Indians are now worshipping devils, notwithstanding all the 
 pains I have taken with them, which almost overwhelms my spirit; more 
 over, considering my extreme barrenness, spiritual deadness and dejec 
 tion, of late ; as also the power of some particular corruptions ; I set 
 apart this day for secret prayer and fasting, to implore the blessing of 
 God on myself, on my poor people, on my friends, and on the church of 
 God. At first, I felt a great backwardness to the duties of the day, on 
 account of the seeming impossibility of performing them; but the Lord 
 helped me to break through this difficulty. God was pleased by the use 
 of means, to give me some clear conviction of my sinfulness, and a dis 
 covery of the plague of my own heart, more affecting than what I have 
 of late had. And especially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when God 
 had withdrawn himself, then, instead of living and dying in pursuit of 
 him, I have been disposed to one of these two things : either, first, to 
 yield an unbecoming respect to some earthly objects, as if happiness were 
 to be derived from them ; or, secondly, to be secretly froward and im 
 patient, and unsuitably desirous of death, so that I have sometimes thought 
 I could not bear to think that my life must be lengthened out. That 
 which often drove me to this impatient desire of death, was a despair of 
 doing any good in life ; and I chose death rather than a life spent for 
 
134 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 nothing. But now God made me sensible of my sin in these things, and 
 enabled me to cry to him for forgiveness. Yet this was not all which I 
 wanted, for my soul appeared exceedingly polluted, my heart seemed like 
 a nest of vipers, or a cage of unclean and hateful birds ; and therefore I 
 wanted to be purified by the blood of sprinkling, that cleanseth from all 
 sin. This, I hope, I was enabled to pray for in faith. I enjoyed much 
 more intenseness, fervency, and spirituality, than I expected ; God was 
 better to me than my fears. Towards night, I felt my soul rejoice, that 
 God is unchangeably happy and glorious ; and that he will be glorified, 
 whatever becomes of his creatures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer, 
 until sometimes in the evening: at which time I saw so much need of 
 divine help, in every respect, that I knew not how to leave off, and had 
 forgot that I needed food. This evening, I was much assisted in medita 
 ting on Is. lii. 3. For thus saith the Lord, ye have sold yourselves for 
 nought, etc. Blessed be the Lord for any help in the past day. 
 
 " JJec. 7. Spent time in prayer, in the morning ; enjoyed some freedom 
 and affections in the duty, and had longing desires of being made faith 
 ful unto death. Spent a little time in writing on a divine subject; then 
 visited the Indians, and preached to them ; but under inexpressible de 
 jection. I had no heart to speak to them, and could not do it, but as I 
 forced myself; I knew they must hate to hear me, as having but just got 
 home from their idolatrous feast and devil-worship. In the evening, had 
 some freedom in prayer and meditation. 
 
 "Dec. 8. Have been uncommonly free this day from dejection, and 
 from that distressing apprehension, that I could do nothing ; was enabled 
 to pray and study with some comfort ; and especially was assisted in writ 
 ing on a divine subject. In the evening, my soul rejoiced in God ; and I 
 blessed his name for shining on my soul. O, the sweet and blessed 
 change I then felt, when God brought me out of darkness into his 
 marvellous light! 
 
 " Lord s day Dec. 9. Preached, both parts of the day, at a place called 
 Greenwich, in New Jersey, about ten miles from my own house. In the 
 first discourse I had scarce any warmth or affectionate longing for souls. 
 In the intermediate season I got alone among the bushes, and cried to 
 God for pardon of my deadness ; and was in anguish and bitterness, that 
 I could not address souls with more compassion and tender affection. 
 I judged and condemned myself for want of this divine temper; though I 
 saw I could not get it as of myself, any more than I could make a world. 
 In the latter exercise, blessed be the Lord, I had some fervency, both in 
 prayer and preaching; and especially in the application of my discourse, 
 I was enabled to address precious souls with affection, concern, tender 
 ness, and importunity. The spirit of God, I think, was there ; as the ef 
 fects were apparent, tears running down many cheeks. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 135 
 
 "Dec. 10. Near noon, I preached again; God gave me some assist 
 ance, and enabled me to be in some degree faithful ; so that I had peace 
 in my own soul, and a very comfortable composure, although Israel 
 should not be gathered. Came away from Greenwich and rode home ; 
 arrived just in the evening. By the way my soul blessed God for his 
 goodness ; and I rejoiced, that so much of my work was done, and I so 
 much nearer my blessed reward. Blessed be God for grace to be faith 
 ful. 
 
 " Dec. II. Felt very poorly in body, being much tired and worn out 
 the last night. Was assisted in some measure in writing on a divine sub 
 ject: but was so feeble and sore in my breast, that I had not much resolu 
 tion in my work. O. how I long for that world where the weary are at 
 rest ! and yet through the goodness of God I do not now feel impatient. 
 
 " Dec. 12. Was again very weak ; but somewhat assisted in secret 
 prayer, and enabled with pleasure and sweetness to cry, Come, Lord 
 Jesus ! come, Lord Jesus ! come quickly. My soul longed for God, for 
 the living God. O, how delightful it is to pray under such sweet in 
 fluences ! O, how much better is this, than one s necessary food ! I had 
 at this time no disposition to eat, (though late in the morning;) for earthly 
 food appeared wholly tasteless. O how much better is thy love than 
 wine, than the sweetest wine ! I visited and preached to the Indians, 
 in the afternoon; but under much dejection. Found my Interpreter 
 under some concern for his soul ; which was some comfort to me and yet 
 filled me with new care. I longed greatly for his conversion ; lifted 
 up my heart to God for it, while I was talking to him ; came home, and 
 poured out my soul to God for him ; enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and 
 was enabled, I think, to leave all with God. 
 
 " Dec. 13. Endeavored to spend the day in fasting and prayer, to im 
 plore the divine blessing, more especially on my poor people ; and in 
 particular, I sought for converting grace for my Interpreter, and three or 
 four more under some concern for their souls. I was much disordered 
 in the morning when I arose ; but having determined to spend the day in 
 this manner, I attempted it. Some freedom I had in pleading for these 
 poor concerned souls, several times ; and when interceding for them, I 
 enjoyed greater freedom from wandering and distracting thoughts, than 
 in any part of my supplications. But, in the general, I was greatly ex 
 ercised with wanderings; so that in the evening it seemed as if I had need 
 to pray for nothing so much as for the pardon of sins committed in the 
 day past, and the vileness I then found in myself. The sins I had most 
 sense of, were pride, and wandering thoughts, whereby I mocked God. 
 The former of these cursed iniquities excited me to think of writing, 
 preaching, or converting heathens, or performing some other great work, 
 that my name might live when I should be dead. My soul was in anguish. 
 
136 MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 and ready to drop into despair, to find so much of that cursed temper. 
 With this, and the other evil I labored under, viz. wandering thoughts, I 
 was almost overwhelmed, and even ready to give over striving after a 
 spirit of devotion; and oftentimes sunk into a considerable degree of 
 despondency, and thought I was more brutish than any man. Yet after 
 all my sorrows, I trust, through grace, this day and the exercises of it 
 have been for my good, and taught me more of my corruption, and weak 
 ness without Christ, than I knew before. 
 
 "Dec. 14. Near noon, went to the Indians; but knew not what to say 
 to them, and was ashamed to look them in the face. I felt that I had no 
 power to address their consciences, and therefore had no boldness to say 
 anything. Was, much of the day, in a degree of despair about ever 
 4 doing or seeing any good in the land of the living. 
 
 "Lord s day, Dec. 16. Was so overwhelmed with dejection, that I 
 knew not how to live. I longed for death exceedingly ; my soul was sunk 
 into deep waters, and the floods were ready to drown me. I was so much 
 oppressed, that my soul was in a kind of horror ; could not keep my 
 thoughts fixed in prayer, for the space of one minute, without fluttering 
 and distraction; and was exceedingly ashamed, that I did not live to God. 
 I had no distressing doubt about my own state ; but would have cheerfully 
 ventured (as far as I could possibly know) into eternity. While I was 
 going to preach to the Indians, my soul was in anguish ; I was so over 
 borne with discouragement, that I despaired of doing any good, and was 
 driven to my wit s-end ; I knew nothing what to say, nor what course to 
 take. But at last I insisted on the evidence we have of the truth of 
 Christianity from the miracles of Christ; many of which I set before 
 them ; and God helped me to make a close application to those who re 
 fused to believe the truth of what I taught them. Indeed, I was enabled 
 to speak to the consciences of all, in some measure, and was somewhat 
 encouraged, to find that God enabled me to be faithful once more. Then 
 came and preached to another company of them ; but was very weary and 
 faint. In the evening, I was refreshed, and enabled to pray and praise 
 God with composure and affection ; had some enlargement and courage 
 with respect to my work ; was willing to live, and longed to do more for 
 God than my weak state of body would admit of. I can do all things 
 through Christ that strengthens me ; and by his grace, I am willing to 
 spend and be spent in his service, when I am not thus sunk in dejection, 
 and a kind of despair. 
 
 "Dec. 17. Was comfortable in mind, most of the day ; was enabled 
 to pray with some freedom, cheerfulness, composure, and devotion; and 
 had also some assistance in writing on a divine subject. Dec. 18. 
 Went to the Indians, and discoursed to them near an hour, without any 
 power to come close to their hearts. But at last I felt some fervency, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 37 
 
 and God helped me to speak with warmth. My interpreter also was 
 amazingly assisted ; and I doubt not but that the Spirit of God was 
 upon them ; though I had no reason to think he had any true and saving 
 grace, but was only under conviction of his lost state ; and presently 
 upon this most of the grown persons were much affected, and the tears 
 ran down their cheeks. One old man, I suppose a hundred years old, 
 was so much affected, that he wept, and seemed convinced of the impor 
 tance of what I taught them. I staid with them a considerable time, 
 exhorting and directing them : and came away, lifting up my heart to God 
 in prayer and praise, and encouraged and exhorted my interpreter to 
 strive to enter in at the strait gate. Came home, and spent most of the 
 evening in prayer and thanksgiving ; and found myself much enlarged and 
 quickened. Was greatly concerned, that the Lord s work which seemed 
 to be begun, might be carried on with power, to the conversion of poor 
 souls, and the glory of divine grace. 
 
 " Dec. 19. Spent a great part of the day in prayer to God, for the 
 outpouring of his Spirit on my poor people ; as, also, to bless his name 
 for awakening my interpreter and some others, and giving us some 
 tokens of his presence yesterday. And blessed be God, I had much free 
 dom, five or six times in the day, in prayer and praise, and felt a weighty 
 concern upon my spirit for the salvation of those precious souls, and the 
 enlargement of the Redeemer s kingdom among them. My soul hoped 
 in God for some success in my ministry ; and blessed be his name for so 
 much hope. 
 
 " Dec. 20. Was enabled to visit the throne of grace frequently this 
 day ; and through divine goodness enjoyed much freedom and fervency, 
 sundry times ; was much assisted in crying for mercy for my poor people, 
 and felt cheerfulness and hope in my requests for them. I spent much of 
 the day in writing ; but was enabled to intermix prayer with my studies. 
 
 "Dec. 21. Was enabled again to pray with freedom, cheerfulness, 
 and hope. God was pleased to make the duty comfortable and pleasant 
 to me ; so that I delighted to persevere, and repeatedly to engage in it. 
 Towards noon, visited my people, and spent the whole time in the way 
 to them in prayer, longing to see the power of God among them, as there 
 appeared something of it the last Tuesday; and I found it sweet to rest 
 and hope in God. Preached to them twice, and at two distinct places ; 
 had considerable freedom each time, and so had my interpreter. Several 
 of them followed me from one place to the other ; and I thought there 
 was some divine influence discernible amongst them. In the evening, was 
 assisted in prayer again. Blessed be the Lord ! " 
 
 Very much the same things are expressed concerning his 
 inward frame, exercises, and assistances on Saturday, as on 
 
I3 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 the preceding days. He observes, that this was a comfort 
 able week to him. But then concludes, " Oh, that I had no 
 reason to complain of much barrenness ! Oh that there were 
 no vain thoughts and evil affections lodged within me ! The 
 Lord knows how I long for that world, where they rest day 
 nor night saying, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Al 
 mighty ! " On the following Sabbath he speaks of assistance 
 and freedom in his public work, but as having less of the sen 
 sible presence of God, than frequently in the week past ; but 
 yet says his soul was kept from sinking in discouragement. 
 On Monday, again, he seemed to enjoy very much the same 
 liberty and fervency, through the day, which he enjoyed 
 through the greater part cf the preceding week. This day, 
 lie wrote the following letter to one of his intimate friends, a 
 clergyman in New Jersey. 
 
 " FORKS OF DELAWARE, Dec. 24, 1744. 
 
 " REV. AND DEAR BROTHER : 
 
 " I have little to say to you about spiritual joys, and those blessed 
 refreshments and divine consolations, with which I have been much 
 favored in times past ; but this I can tell you, that if I gain experience in 
 no other point, yet I am sure I do in this, viz., that the present world has 
 nothing in it to satisfy an immortal soul ; and hence, that it is not to be 
 desired for itself, but only because God may be seen and served in it. I 
 wish I could be more patient and willing to live in it for this end, than I 
 can usually find myself to be. It is no virtue, I know, to desire death, 
 only to be freed from the miseries of life ; but I want that divine hope 
 which you observed, when I saw you last, was the very sinews of vital 
 religion. Earth can do us no good, and if there be no hope of our doing 
 good on earth, how can we desire to live in it ? Yet we ought to desire, 
 or at least to be resigned to tarry in it ; because it is the will of our all- 
 wise Sovereign. But, perhaps, these thoughts will appear melancholy 
 and gloomy, and, consequently, will be very undesirable to you ; and, 
 therefore, I forbear to add, I wish you may not read them in the same 
 circumstances in which I write them. I have a little more to do and 
 suffer in a dark, disconsolate world ; and then I hope to be as happy as 
 you are. I should ask you to pray for me, were I worthy your concern. 
 May the Lord enable us both to * endure hardness as good soldiers of 
 Jesus Christ ; and may we obtain mercy of God to be faithful to the 
 death, in the discharge of our respective trusts ! 
 " I am your very unworthy brother, 
 
 " And humble servant, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 139 
 
 "Dec. 25. Enjoyed very little quiet sleep last night, by reason of 
 bodily weakness, and the closeness of my studies yesterday; yet my 
 heart was somewhat lively in prayer and praise. I was deli hted with 
 the divine glory and happiness, and rejoiced that God was God, and that 
 he was unchangeably possessed of glory and blessedness. Though God 
 held my eyes waking, yet he helped me to improve my time profitably 
 amidst my pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Luke xiii. 7. 
 Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit, etc. My meditations 
 were sweet ; and I wanted to set before sinners their sin and danger." 
 
 He continued in a very low state, as to his bodily health, 
 for some days, which seems to have been a great hindrance 
 to him in his religious exercises and pursuits. But yet he 
 expresses some degree of divine assistance, from day to day, 
 through the remaining part of this week. He preached 
 several times this week to his Indians ; and there appeared 
 still some concern amongst them for their souls. On Saturday, 
 he rode to the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from his 
 lodgings, in order to spend the Sabbath there. 
 
 " Lord s day, Dtc. 30. Discoursed, both parts of the day from Mark 
 viii. 34. Whosoever will come after me, etc. God gave me very great 
 freedom and clearness, and in the afternoon especially, considerable 
 warmth and fervency. In the evening also, had very great clearness 
 while conversing with friends on divine things. I do not remember ever 
 to have had more clear apprehensions of religion in my life; but found a 
 struggle in the evening with spiritual pride." 
 
 On Monday, he preached again in the same place with 
 freedom and fervency ; and rode home to his lodgings, and 
 arrived in the evening, under a considerable degree of bodily 
 illness, which continued the next two days, so that he com 
 plains much of spiritual emptiness and barrenness on those 
 days. 
 
 "Jan. 3, 1745. Being sensible of the great want of divine influence, 
 and the outpouring of God s Spirit, I spent this day in fasting and prayer, 
 to seek so great a mercy for myself, my poor people in particular, and 
 the church of God in general. In the morning, was very lifeless in prayer, 
 and could get scarcely any sense of God. Near noon, enjoyed some sweet 
 freedom to pray that the will of God might in every respect become mine ; 
 and I am persuaded, it was so at that time in some good degree. In the 
 afternoon, I was exceedingly weak, and could not enjoy much fervency 
 
140 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXEK2). 
 
 in prayer ; but felt a great degree of dejection ; which, I believe, was 
 very much owing to my bodily weakness and disorder. 
 
 "Jan. 4. Rocle up to the Indians, near noon ; spent some lime under 
 great disorder : my soul was sunk down into deep waters, and I was 
 .".imost overwhelmed with melancholy. Jan. 5. Was able to do some- 
 ., tiling at writing; but was much disordered with pain in my head. At 
 night was distressed with a sense of my spiritual pollution, and ten 
 thousand youthful, yea, and childish follies, that nobody but myself had 
 any thought about; all which appeared to me now fresh, and in a lively 
 view, as if committed yesterday, and made my soul ashamed before God, 
 and caused me to hate myself. 
 
 " Lord s day, Jan. 6. Was still distressed with vapory disorders. 
 Preached to my poor Indians; but had little heart or life. Towards 
 night, my soul was pressed under a sense of my unfaithfulness. O the 
 joy and peace that arise from a sense of having obtained mercy of God 
 to be faithful ! And O the misery and anguish that spring from an ap 
 prehension of the contrary ! 
 
 "Jan. 9. In the morning, God was pleased to remove that gloom 
 which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me freedom and sweet 
 ness in prayer. I was encouraged, strengthened, and enabled to plead 
 for grace for myself, and mercy for my poor Indians; and was sweetly 
 assisted in my intercessions with God for others. Blessed be his holy 
 name for ever and ever, amen, and amen. Those things that of late 
 appeared most difficult and almost impossible, now appeared not only 
 possible, but easy. My soul was much delighted to continue instant in 
 prayer, at this blessed season, so that I had no desire for my necessary 
 food ; even dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest I should lose this 
 spirituality, and this blessed thankfulness to God which I then felt. I 
 felt now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials that might remain 
 for me in a world of sorrow ; but still longed for heaven, that I might 
 glorify God in a perfect manner. O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. 
 Spent the day in reading a little ; and in some diversions, which I was 
 necessitated to take by reason of much weakness and disorder, In the 
 evening, enjoyed some freedom and intenseness in prayer." 
 
 The remaining days of the week, he was feeble in body ; 
 but nevertheless continued in a comfortable frame of mind. 
 On the Sabbath, this sweetness in spiritual alacrity began to 
 abate ; but still he enjoyed some degree of comfort, and had 
 assistance in preaching to the Indians. 
 
 "Jan. 14. Spent this day under a great degree of bodily weakness 
 and disorder ; had very little freedom, either in my studies or devotions; 
 
MEMOIRS OF BHAINERD. 
 
 141 
 
 and in the evening, I was much dejected and melancholy. It pains and 
 distresses me, th.it I live so much of my time for nothing. I long to do 
 much in a little time ; and if it might be the Lord s will to finish my work 
 speedily in this tiresome world, I am sure, I do not desire to live for any 
 thing in this world; and through grace I am not afraid to look the king 
 of terrors in the face ; I know that J shall be afraid if God leaves me ; 
 and therefore I think it always my duty to provide for that solemn hour. 
 But for a very considerable time past, my soul has rejoiced to think of 
 death in its nearest approaches, and even when I have been very weak, 
 and seemed nearest eternity. Not unto me, not unto me, but to God be 
 the glory. I feel that which convinces me, that if God do not enable me 
 to maintain a holy dependence upon him, death will easily be a terror to 
 me ; but at present, I must say, I long to depart, and to be with Christ, 
 which is the best of all. When I arn in a sweet resigned frame of soul, I 
 am willing to tarry awhile in a world of sorrow. I am willing to be from 
 home as long as God sees fit it should be so ; but- when I want the in 
 fluence of this temper, I am then apt to be impatient to be gone. O, 
 when will the day appear, that I shall be perfect in holiness, and in the en 
 joyment of God ! 
 
 "Jan. 16 and 17. I spent most of the time in writing on a sweet 
 divine subject, and enjoyed some freedom and assistance. Was likewise 
 enabled to pray more frequently and fervently than usual , and my soul, I 
 think, rejoiced in God ; especially on the evening of the last of these days. 
 Praise then seemed comely, and I delighted to bless the Lord. O what 
 reason have I to be thankful, that God ever helps me to labor and study 
 for him ! he does but receive his own, when I am enabled in any measure 
 to praise him, labor for him, and live to him. O, how comfortable and 
 sweet it is, to feel the assistance of divine grace in the performance of 
 the duties which God has enjoined on us ! Bless the Lord, O my soul ! 
 
 "Lord s day, Jan. 27. Had the greatest degree of inward anguish, 
 which I almost ever endured. I was perfectly overwhelmed, and so con 
 fused, that after I began to discourse to the Indians, before I could finish 
 a sentence, sometimes I forgot entirely what I was aiming at ; or if, with 
 much difficulty, I had recollected what I had before designed, still it ap 
 peared strange, and like something I had long forgotten, and had now but 
 an imperfect remembrance of. I know it was a degree of distraction, occa 
 sioned by vapory disorders, melancholy, spiritual desertion, and some 
 other things that particularly pressed upon me this morning, with an un 
 common weight, the principal of which respected my Indians. This dis 
 tressing gloom never went off the whole day; but was so far removed, that 
 I was enabled to speak with some freedom and concern to the Indians, 
 at two of their settlements; and I think, there was some appearance of 
 the presence of God with us, some seriousness and seeming concern among 
 
142 
 
 MEMOIXS OF BRAf NERD. 
 
 the Indians, at least a few of them. In the evening, this gloom continued 
 still, till family prayer,* about nine o clock, and almost through this, until 
 I came near the close, when I was praying, as I usually do, for the illu 
 mination and conversion of my poor people; and then the cloud was 
 scattered, so that I enjoyed sweetness and freedom, and conceived hopes 
 that God designed mercy for some of them. The same I enjoyed after 
 wards in secret prayer ; in which precious duty I had for a considerable 
 time sweetness and freedom, and, I hope, faith, in praying for myself, my 
 poor Indians, and dear friends and acquaintance in New England, and 
 elsewhere, and for the dear interests of Zion in general. Bless ihe Lord, 
 
 my soul , and forget not all his benefits." 
 
 He spent the rest of this week, in dejection and melan 
 choly ; which, on Friday, rose to an extreme height This ex 
 ceeding gloominess continued till Saturday evening, when he 
 was again relieved in family prayer ; and after it, was re 
 freshed in secret, and felt willing to live and endure hardships 
 in the cause of God and found his hopes of the advancement 
 of Christ s kingdom, as also his hopes to see the power of 
 God among the poor Indians, considerably raised. 
 
 " Lora s Day Feb. 3. In the morning, I was somewhat relieved of that 
 gloom and confusion, with which my mind has of late been greatly exer 
 cised; and w.;s enabled to pray with some composure and comfort. Still 
 
 1 went to my Indians trembling; for my soul remembered the worm 
 wood and the gnll of Friday last. I was greatly afraid that I should be 
 obliged again to drink of that cup of trembling, which was inconceivably 
 more bitter than death, and made me long for the grave more, unspeak 
 ably more, than for hid treasures, yea inconceivably more than the men of 
 this world long for such treasures. Cut God was pleased to hear my 
 cries, and to afford me great assistance; so that I felt peace in my own 
 soul ; and was satisfied, that if not one of the Indians should be profited 
 by my preaching, but should all be damned, yet I should be accepted 
 and rewarded as faithful ; for I am persuaded, God enabled me to be so. 
 Had some good degree of help .\fterwards, at another place ; and much, 
 longed for the conversion of the poor Indians. War, somewhat refreshed, 
 and comfortable, towards night and in the evening. Oh, that my soul 
 might praise the Lord for his goodness! Enjoyed some freedom, in the 
 evening, in meditation on Luke xiii. 24. Strive to enter in at the strait 
 gate." 
 
 * Thou h Brair.crd row dwelt by himself in the little cottage which he had built for 
 his own use ; yet that was near to a f imi y of white people, with whom he had lived 
 before, and with whom he still attended fa.nily prayer. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 143 
 
 In the next three days he was the subject of much dejec 
 tion; but the three remaining days of the week seem to have 
 been spent with much composure and comfort. On the next 
 Sabbath, he preached at Greenwich, in New Jersey. In the 
 evening, he rode eight miles to visit a sick man at the point 
 of death, and found him speechless and senseless. 
 
 "Feb. ii. About break of day, the sick man died. I was affected at 
 the sight ; spent the morning with the mourners ; and, after prayer and 
 some discourse with them, returned to Greenwich, and preached again 
 from Ps. Ixxxix. 15. Blessed is the people that know, etc. The Lord 
 gave me assistance ; I felt a sweet love to souls, and to the kingdom of 
 Christ ; and I longed that poor sinners might know the joyful sound. 
 Several persons were much affected. After meeting, I was enabled to dis 
 course, with freedom and concern, to some persons, who applied to me 
 under spiritual trouble. Left the place, sweetly composed, and rode 
 home to my house about eight miles distant. Discoursed to friends, and in 
 culcated divine truths upon some. In the evening, was in the most solemn 
 frame, which I almost ever remember to have experienced. I know not 
 that ever death appeared more real to me, or that ever I saw myself in the 
 condition of a dead corpse, laid out, and dressed for a lodging in the 
 silent grave, so evidently as at this time. And yet I felt exceedingly 
 tranquil; my mind was composed and calm, and death appeared without 
 a sting. I think, T never felt such an universal mortification to all created 
 objects as> now. O, how great and solemn a thing it appeared to die ! O, 
 how it lays the greatest honor in the dust ! And O, how vain and trifling 
 did the riches, honors, and pleasures of the world appear ! I could not, 
 I dare not, so much as think of any of them; for death, death, solemn 
 (thought not fr ghtful) death appeared at the door. O, I could see myself 
 dead, and hid out, and inclosed in my coffin, and put down into the cold 
 grave, with the greatest solemnity, but without terror ! I spent most of 
 tlie evening in conversing with a dear Christian friend ; and blessed be 
 God, it was a comfortable evening to us both. What are friends ? What 
 ? 3 comforts ? What are sorrows ? What are distresses ? The time is 
 short. It remains, that they which weep, be as though they wept not ; 
 and they which rejoice, as though they rejoiced not ; for the fashion of 
 thij wcrld passeth away. Oh conv, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen. 
 IHtss xI be God for the comforts of the past day. 
 
 " Feb. 12. Was exceedingly weak.; but in a sweet, resigned, composed 
 frame, most of th~ day"; felt my heart freely go forth after God in prayer. 
 Feb 13. Was much excicised with vapory disorders, but still 
 enabled to maintain sol^n.ivtv, j^d. T think spirituality. Feb. 14. 
 Spent the day in writing on a divine subject ; enjoyed health and hee- 
 
144 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 dom in my work; and had a solemn sense of death, as I have indeed 
 had every day this week, in some measure. What I felt on Monday 
 last, has been abiding, in some considerable degree, ever since. Feb. 15. 
 Was engaged in writing most of the day. In the evening, was much as 
 sisted in meditating on that precious text, John vii. 37. Jesus stood and 
 cried, etc. I had then a sweet sense of the free grace of the gospel ; my 
 soul was encouraged, warmed and quickened. My desires were drawn 
 out after God in prayer; and my soul was watchful, afraid of losing so 
 sweet a guest as I then entertained. I continued long in prayer and 
 meditation, intermixing one with the other; and was unwilling to be di 
 verted by anything at all from so sweet an exercise. I longed to proclaim 
 the grace I then meditated upon, to the world of sinners. O how quick 
 and powerful is the word of the blessed God. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. 17. Preached to the white people, my interpreter 
 being absent, in the wilderness upon the sunny side of a hill ; had a consider 
 able assembly, consisting of people who lived, at least many of them, not 
 less than thirty miles asunder. I discoursed with them all day, from John 
 vii. 37. Jesus stood and cried, saying, if any man thirst, etc. In the after 
 noon, pleased God to grant me great freedom and fervency in my discourse ; 
 and I was enabled to imitate the example of Christ in the text, who stood 
 and cried. I think I was scarce ever enabled to offer the free grace of God 
 to perishing sinners with more freedom and plainness in my life. After 
 wards, I was enabled earnestly to invite the children of God to come re- 
 newcdly and, drink of this fountain of the water of life, from whence they 
 have heretofore derived unspeakable satisfaction. It was a very comfor 
 table time to me, There were many tears in the assembly ; and I doubt 
 not but that the Spirit of God was there, convincing poor sinners of their 
 need of Christ. In the evening, I felt composed and comfortable, though 
 much tired. I had some sweet sense of the excellency and glory of God ; 
 my soul rejoiced that he wr.s God over all blessed forever ; but was too 
 much crowded with company and conversation, and longed to be more 
 alone with God. Oh that I could torever bless God for the mercy of this 
 clay, who answered me in the joy of my heart. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. 24. In the morning was much perplexed. My in 
 terpreter being absent, I knew rot how to perform my work among th? 
 Indians. However, I rode to them, got a Dutchman to interpret for me 
 though he was but poorly qualified for the business. Afterwards, I came 
 and preached to a few white people, from John vi. 67. Then said Jesus 
 unto the twelve, etc,. Here the Lord seemed to unburden me in some 
 measure, especially towards the close of my discourse : I felt freedom to 
 open the love of Christ to his own de?r disciples. When the rest of the 
 world fors.ikes him. nnd are forsaken by him, that he calls them no more 
 ho then turns to his own and says, \vill ye also go away? I had a sense 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAfNERD. ! 4 ^ 
 
 of the free grace of Christ to his own people, in such seasons of general 
 apostacy, and when they themselves in some measure backslide with the 
 world. O the free grace of Christ, that he seasonably reminds his people 
 of their danger of backsliding, and invites them to persevere in their ad 
 herence to himself ! I siw that backsliding souls, who seemed to be 
 about to go away with the world, might return and welcome, to him im 
 mediately; without anything to recommend them; notwithstanding all 
 their former backslidings. Thus my discourse was suited to my own 
 soul s case ; for, of late, I have found ?. great want of this sense and ap 
 prehension of divine grace; and have often been greatly distressed in my 
 own soul, because I did not suitably apprehend this fountain to purge 
 away sin ; and have been too much laboring for spiritual life, peace of 
 conscience, and progressive holiness, in my own strength. Now God 
 showed me, in some measure, the arm of all strength, and the fountain of 
 all grace. In the evening, I felt solemn, devout and sweet ; resting on 
 free grace for assistance, acceptance, and peace of conscience." 
 
 During the next few days, he had frequent refreshing 
 influences of God s Spirit; attended with complaints of dull 
 ness, and with longings after spiritual life and holy fervency. 
 
 " March 6. Spent most of the clay in preparing for a journey to New 
 England. Spent some time in prayer, with special reference to my jour 
 ney. Was afraid I should forsake the Fountain of living waters, and at 
 tempt to derive satisfaction from broken cisterns, my clear friends and ac 
 quaintance, with whom I might meet in my journey. I looked to God to 
 keep me from this vanity, as well as others. Towards night, and in the 
 evening, was visited by some friends, some of whom, I trust, were real 
 Christians; who discovered an affectionate regard to me, and seemed 
 grieved that I was about to leave them ; especially as I did not expect to 
 make any considerable stay among them, if 1 should live to return from 
 New England.* O how kind has God been to me ! how has he raised up 
 friends in every place where his providence has called me ! Friends are 
 a great comfort ; and it is God who gives them ; it is he who makes them 
 friendly to me. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. 
 
 The next day, he set out on his journey and it was about 
 five weeks before he returned. The special design of this 
 journey, he declares afterwards, in his diary for March 21, 
 where, speaking of his conversing with a certain minister in 
 New England, he says, " Contrived with him how to raise 
 
 : * It seenr; IT* had a design, by what afterwards appears, to remove and live among the 
 Indians on the Susquehannah river. 
 
I4 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 some money among Christian friends, in order to support a 
 colleague with me in the wilderness, (I having now spent 
 two years in a very solitary manner,) that we might be to 
 gether ; as Christ sent out his disciples t\vo and two ; and as 
 this was the principal concern I hud in view, in taking this 
 journey, so I took pains in it, and hope God will succeed it, 
 if for his glory." He first went into various parts of New 
 Jersey, and visited several ministers there ; then to New 
 York ; and thence into New England, going to various parts 
 of Connecticut. He then returned to New Jersey, and met 
 a number of ministers at Woodbridge, " who, " he says, " met 
 there to consult about the affairs of Christ s kingdom, in some 
 important articles." He seems, for the most part, to have 
 been free from melancholy in this journey ; and many times 
 to have had extraordinary assistance in public ministrations, 
 and his preaching sometimes attended with very hopeful ap 
 pearances of a good effect on the auditory. He also had 
 many seasons of special comfort and spiritual refreshment, in 
 conversation with ministers and other Christian friends, and 
 also in meditation and prayer when alone. 
 
 " April 13. Rode home to my own house at the Forks of Delaware ; 
 and was enabled to remember the goodness of the Lord, who has now 
 preserved me while riding full six hundred miles in this journey; his kept 
 me that none of my bones have been broken. Blessed be the Lord who 
 has preserved me in this tedious journey, and returned me in safety to 
 my own house. Verily it is God who has upheld me, and guarded my 
 goings. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 14. Was disordered in body with the fatigues of the 
 late journey ; but was enabled however to preach to a considerable as 
 sembly of white people, gathered from all parts round about, with some 
 freedom, from Ezek. xxxiii n. As I live, saith the Lord God, etc. Had 
 i much more assistance than I expected." 
 
 This week he went a journey to Philadelphia, in order to 
 engage the Governor to use his interest with the chief of the 
 six nations, with whom he maintained a strict friendship, that 
 he would give him leave to live at Susquehannah, and instruct 
 the Indians who are within their territories.* In his way to 
 
 * The Indians at Susquchannah are a mixed company of many nations, speaking various 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAiNERD. 147 
 
 and from thence, he lodged with Mr. Beaty, a young Presby 
 terian minister. He speaks of seasons of sweet spiritual re 
 freshment which he enjoyed at his lodgings. 
 
 "April 20. Rode with Mr. Beaty to Abington, to attend Mr. Treat s 
 administration of the sacrament, according to the method of the church 
 of Scotland. When we arrived, we found Mr. Treat preaching ; after 
 wards I preached a sermon from Matt. v. 3. Blessed are the poor in 
 spirit, etc. God was pleased to give me great freedom and tenderness 
 both in prayer and sermon; the assembly was sweetly melted, and scores 
 were in tears. It was, as I then hoped, and was afterwards abundantly 
 satisfied by conversing with them, a word spoken in season to many 
 weary souls. I was extremely tired, and my spirits much exhausted, so 
 that I could scarcely speak loud ; yet I could not help rejoicing in God. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 21. In the morning, was calm and composed 
 and had some thirstings of soul after God in secret duties, and longing 
 desires of his presence in the sanctuary and at his table ; that his presence 
 might be in the assembly ; and that his children might be entertained with 
 a feast of fat things. In the forenoon, Mr. Treat preached. I felt some 
 affection and tenderness during the administration of the ordinance. Mr. 
 Beaty preached to the multitude abroad, who could not half have crowded 
 into the meeting-house. In the season of the communion, I had comfort 
 able and sweet apprehensions of the blissful communion of God s people, 
 when they shall meet at their Father s table in his kingdom, in a state of 
 perfection. In the afternoon, I preached abroad to the whole assembly, 
 from Rev. xiv. 4. These are they that follow the Lamb, etc. God was 
 pleased again to give me very great freedom and clearness, but 
 not so much warmth as before. However there was a most amazing at 
 tention in the whole assembly ; and, as I was informed afterwards, this 
 was a sweet season to many. 
 
 " April 22. I enjoyed some sweetness in retirement, in the morning. 
 At eleven o clock, Mr. Beaty preached, with freedom and life. Then I 
 preached from John vii. 37. In the last day, etc., and concluded the sol 
 emnity. Had some freedom; but not equal to what I enjoyed before; yet 
 in the prayer the Lord enabled me to cry, I hope with a child-like tem 
 per, with tenderness and brokenness of heart. Came home with Mr. 
 Beaty to his lodgings; and spent the time, while riding, and afterwaids, 
 very agreeably on divine things. 
 
 11 April 23. Left Mr. Beaty s and returned home to the Forks of 
 
 languages, and few of them properly of the Six Nations. But yet the country having 
 formerly been conquered by the Six Nations, they claim the land ; and the Susquehannah 
 Indians are a kind of vassals to them. 
 
148 MEMOIRS OF RRAINERD. 
 
 Delaware ; enjoyed some sweet meditations on the road ; and was enabled 
 to lift up my heart to God in prayer and praise." 
 
 "April 26. Conversed with a Christian friend with some warmth; 
 and felt a spirit of mortification to the world, in a very great degree. 
 Afterwards, was enabled to pray fervently, and to rely on God sweetly, 
 for all things pertaining to life and godliness. Just in the evening, 
 was visited by a dear Christian friend, with whom I spent an hour or two 
 in conversation, on the very soul of religion. There are many with whom 
 I can talk about religion-; but alas ! I find few with whom I can talk religion 
 itself ; but blessed be the Lord, there are some that love to feed on the 
 kernel, rather than the shell." 
 
 The next day, he went to the Irish settlement, before 
 mentioned, about fifteen miles distant where he spent the 
 Sabbath and preached with some considerable assistance, 
 and on Monday returned in a very weak state to his own 
 lodgings. 
 
 " April 30. Was scarce able to walk about, and was obliged to betake 
 myself to bed, much of the day; and passed away the time in a very 
 solitary manner ; being neither able to read, meditate, nor pray, and had 
 none to converse with in that wilderness. O how heavily does time pass 
 away, when I can do nothing to any good purpose ; but seem obliged to 
 trifle away precious time ! But of late. I have seen it my duty to divert 
 myself by all lawful means, that I may be fit, at least some small part of 
 my time, to labor for God. And here is the difference between my 
 present diversions, and those I once pursued, when in a natural state. 
 Then I made a god of diversions, delighted in them with a neglect of 
 God, and drew my highest satisfaction from them. Now I use them as 
 means to help me in living to God ; fixedly delighting in him, and not in 
 them, drawing my highest satisfaction from him. Then they were my 
 all ; now they are only means leading to my all. And those things that 
 are the greatest diversion, when pursued with this view, do not tend to 
 hinder, but promote my spirituality ; and I see now, more than ever, that 
 they are absolutely necessary. 
 
 "May i. Was not able to sit up more than half the day; and yet I 
 had such recruits of strength sometimes, that I was able to write a little 
 on a divine subject. Was grieved that I could no more live to God. In 
 the evening, had some sweetness and intenseness in secret prayer. 
 
 May 2. In the evening, being a little better in health, I walked into 
 the woods, and enjoyed a sweet season of meditation and prayer. My 
 thoughts ran upon Ps. xvii. 15. I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with 
 thy likeness. And it was indeed a precious text tome. I longed to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 149 
 
 preach to the whole world, and it seemed to me, they must needs all be 
 melted in hearing such precious divine truths, as I then had a view and 
 relish of. My thoughts were exceeding clear, and my soul was refreshed. 
 Blessed be the Lord, that in my late and present weakness, now for many 
 days together, my mind is not gloomy, as at some other times. 
 
 " May. 3. Felt a little vigor of body and mind, in the morning ; and 
 had some freedom, strength and sweetness in prayer. Rode to, and 
 spent some time with my Indians. Tn the evening, again retiring into the 
 woods, I enjoyed some sweet meditations on Isa. liii. I. Yet it pleased 
 the Lord to bruise him, etc. 
 
 "May 7. Spent the day mainly in making preparations for a journey 
 into the wilderness. Was still weak, and concerned how I should per 
 form so difficult a journey. Spent some time in prayer for the divine 
 blessing, direction, and protection in my intended journey ; but wanted 
 bodily strength to spend the day in fasting and prayer." 
 
 The next day, he set out on his journey to the Susque- 
 hannah, with his interpreter. He endured great hardships 
 and fatigues in his way thither through a hideous wilderness ; 
 where, after having lodged one night in the open woods, he 
 was overtaken with a northeasterly storm, in which he was 
 almost ready to perish. Having no manner of shelter, and 
 not being able to make a fire in so great a rain, he could 
 have no comfort if he stopped; therefore he determined to go 
 forward in hopes of meeting with some shelter, without which 
 he thought it impossible to live the night through ; but their 
 horses happening to eat poison, for the want of other food, 
 at a place where they lodged the night before were so sick, 
 that they could neither ride nor lead them, but were obliged 
 to drive them, and travel on foot : until, through the mercy 
 of God. just at dusk, they came to a bark hut where they 
 lodged that night. After he came to the Susquehannah, he 
 travelled about a hundred miles on the river, and visited 
 many towns and settlements of the Indians ; saw some of 
 seven or eight tribes, and preached to different nations, by 
 different interpreters. He was sometimes much discouraged, 
 and sunk in his spirits, through the opposition which appeared 
 in the Indians to Christianity. At other times, he was en 
 couraged by the disposition which some of these people man- 
 
I5 o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 ifested to hear, and willingness to be instructed. He here 
 met with some who had formerly been his hearers at Kaunau- 
 meek, and had removed hither ; who saw and heard him again 
 with great joy. He spent a fortnight among the Indians on 
 this river, and passed through considerable labors and hard 
 ships, frequently lodging on the ground, and sometimes in the 
 open air. At length he felt extremely ill, as he was riding 
 in the wilderness, being seized with an ague, followed with a 
 burning fever, and extreme pains in his head and bowels, 
 attended with a great evacuation of blood ; so that he thought 
 he must have perished in the wilderness. But at last coming 
 to an Indian trader s hut, he got leave to stay there ; and 
 though without physic or food proper for him, it pleased God, 
 after about a week s distress, to relieve him so far that he 
 was able to ride. He returned homewards from Juncauta, 
 an island far down the river ; where was a considerable num 
 ber of Indians, who appeared more free from prejudices 
 against Christianity, than most of the other Indians. He 
 arrived at the Forks of Delaware May 30, after having rode 
 in this journey about 340 miles. lie came home in a very 
 weak state, and under dejection of mind. However, on the 
 Sabbath, after having preached to the Indians, he preached 
 to the white people, with some success, from Is. liii. 10. Yet 
 it pleased the Lord to bruise him, etc,, some being awak 
 ened by his preaching. The next day, he was much exercised 
 for want of spiritual life and fervency. 
 
 "June 4. Towards evening, was in distress for God s presence, and 
 a sense of divine things; withdrew myself to the woods, and spent near 
 an hour in prayer and meditation; and I think, the Lord had compassion 
 on me, and gave me some sense of divine things ; which was indeed 
 refreshing and quickening to me. My soul enjoyed intenseness and 
 freedom in prayer, so that it grieved me to leave the place. 
 
 "June 5. Felt thirsting desires after God, in the morning. In the 
 evening, enjoyed a precious season of retirement; was favored with some 
 clear and sweet meditations upon a sacred text ; divine things opened 
 with clearness and certainty, and had a divine stamp, upon them. My soul 
 was also enlarged and refreshed in prayer ; I delighted to continue 
 in the duty ; and was sweetly assisted in praying for my fellow-Christians, 
 
MEMOIRS GF ERA I NERD. x 5 r 
 
 and my dear brethren in the ministry. Blessed be the dear Lord for 
 such enjoyments. O how sweet and precious it is, to have a clear appre 
 hension and tender sense of the mystery of godliness, of true holiness, and 
 of likeness to the best of beings ! O what a blessedness it is, to be as 
 much like God, as it is possible for a creature to be like his great Creator ! 
 Lord give me more of thy likeness ; I shall be satisfied, when I awake, 
 with it. 
 
 "June 6. Was engaged, a considerable part of the day, in meditation 
 and study on divine subjects. Enjoyed some special freedom, clearness, 
 and sweetness in meditation. O how refreshing it is, to be enabled to 
 improve time well." 
 
 The next day, he went a journey of near fifty miles, to 
 Neshaminy, to assist at a sacramental occasion, to be attended 
 at Mr. Beaty s meeting-house; being invited thither by him 
 and his people. 
 
 "June 8. Was exceedingly weak and fatigued with riding in the heat 
 yesterday ; but being desired, I preached in the afternoon, to a crowded 
 audience, from Is. xl. I. Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your 
 God. God was pleased to give me great freedom, in opening the sorrows 
 of God s people, and in setting before them comforting considerations. 
 And, blessed be the Lord, it was a sweet melting season in the assembly. 
 
 " Lonfs day y June 9. Felt some longing desires of the presence of God 
 to be with his people on the solemn occasion of the day. In the forenoon 
 Mr. Beaty preached ; and there appeared some warmth in the assembly. 
 Afterwards. I assisted in the administration of the Lord s supper ; and 
 towards the close of it, I discoursed to the multitude extempore, with 
 some reference to that sacred passage, Is. liii. 10. Yet it pleased the 
 Lord to bruise him. Here God gave me great assistance in addressing 
 sinners ; and the word was attended with amazing power ; many scores, 
 if not hundreds, in that great assembly, consisting of three or four 
 thousand, were much affected; so that there was a very great mourning, 
 like the mourning of Hadadrimmon. In the evening, I could hardly 
 look anybody in the face, because of the imperfections I saw in my per 
 formances in the day past. 
 
 "June 10. Preached with a good degree of clearness and some sweet 
 warmth, from Psal. xvii. 15. I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with 
 thy likeness. And blessed be God, there was a great solemnity and 
 attention in the assembly, and sweet refreshment among God s people; 
 as was evident then, and afterwards. June n. Spent the day mainly 
 in conversation with dear Christian friends; and enjoyed some sweet 
 sense of divine things. O how desirable it is, to deep company with God s 
 
152 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 dear children ! These are the excellent ones of the earth, in whom, I 
 can truly say, is all my delight. O what delight will it afford, to meet 
 them all in a state of perfection ! Lord, prepare me for that state." 
 
 The next day he left Mr. Beaty s and went to Maidenhead, 
 in New Jersey ; and spent the next seven days in a comfort 
 able state of mind, visiting several ministers in those parts. 
 
 "June 18. Set out from New Brunswick with a design to visit some 
 Indians at a place called Crossweeksung, in New Jersey, towards the 
 cea.* In the afternoon, came to a place called Cranberry, and meeting 
 with a serious minister, Mr, Macknight, I lodged there with him. Had 
 some enlargement and freedom in prayer with a number of people. 
 
 * BRAINERD having when at Boston, written and left with a friend, a brief relation of 
 facts touching his labors with the Indians, between November 5, 1744, and June 19, 1745, 
 (with a view to connect his Narrative, addressed to Mr. Pemberton, and his Journal, in 
 case they should ever be reprinted) concludes the same with this passage : " As my 
 body was very feeble, so my mind was scarce ever so much damped and discouraged 
 about the conversion of the Indians, as at this time. And in this state of body and 
 mind I made my first visit to the Indians of New Jersey, where God was pleased to display 
 his power and grace in the remarkable manner that I have represented in my printed 
 Journal." 
 
MEMOJXS OF BRAIXERD 
 
 53 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A wonderful Work of Grace in the Wilderness. Publication of the First Part of 
 Brainerd s Journal. Interesting Services. Revival Scenes. A Journey to the Forks 
 of th Delaware. A Strange Character. Precious Ingatherings. 
 
 [WE are now come to that part of Brainerd s life, when 
 he had the greatest success in his labors for the good of 
 souls and in his particular business as a missionary to the 
 Indians. Long had he agonized in prayer, and travailed in 
 birth for their conversion. Often had he cherished the hope 
 of witnessing that desirable event ; only to find that hope 
 yield to fear, and end in disappointment. But after a patient 
 continuance in prayer, in labor, and in suffering, as it were 
 through a long night, at length he is permitted to behold the 
 dawning of the day. " Weeping continues for a night ; but 
 joy comes in the morning." He went forth weeping, bearing 
 precious seed, and now he comes rejoicing, bringing his 
 sheaves with him. The desired event is brought to pass at 
 last ; but at a time, in a place, and upon subjects, which 
 scarcely ever entered into his heart. 
 
 An account of this was originally published in his JOURNAL, 
 consisting of extracts from his Diary during one year of his 
 residence at Crossweeksung. Those extracts are now incor 
 porated with the rest of his Diary for the same period in regu 
 lar chronological order. 
 
 The following preface by the Correspondents introduced 
 the First Part of Brainerd s Journal to the notice of the pub 
 lic and is worthy of an insertion in these Memoirs. [J. M. S.] 
 
 " The design of this publication is to give God the glory of his dis 
 tinguishing grace, and gratify the pious curiosity of those who are wait 
 ing and praying for that blessed time, when the Son of God, in a more 
 extensive sense than has yet been accomplished, shall receive the hea 
 then foi his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for a pos 
 session. 
 
; 54 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 " Whenever any of the guilty race of mankind are awakened to a just 
 concern for their eternal interest, are humbled at the footstool of a sover 
 eign God, and are persuaded and enabled to accept the offers of redeem 
 ing love, it must always be acknowledged a wonderful work of divine grace, 
 which demands our thankful praises, But doubtless it is a more affecting 
 evidence of almighty power, a more illustrious display of sovereign mercy, 
 when those are enlightened with the knowledge of salvation, who have for 
 many ages dwelt in the grossest darkness and heathenism, and are 
 brought to a cheerful subjection to the government of our divine Re 
 deemer, who from generation to generation had remained the voluntary 
 slaves of the prince of darkness. 
 
 " This is that delightful scene which will present itself to the reader s 
 view, while he attentively peruses the following pages. Nothing certainly 
 can be mure agreeable to a benevolent and religious mind, than to see 
 those that were sunk in the most degenerate state of human nature, at 
 once, not only renounce those barbarous customs they had been inured 
 to from their infancy, but surprisingly transformed into the character of 
 real and devout Christians. This mighty change was brought about by 
 the plain and faithful preaching of the gospel, attended with an uncommon 
 effusion of the divine Spirit, under the ministry of the Reverend David 
 Brainerd, a Missionary employed by the Honorable Society in Scotland, 
 for propagating Christian Knowledge. And surely it will administer 
 abundant matter of praise and thanksgiving to that honorable body, to 
 find that their generous attempt to send the gospel among the Indian 
 nations upon the borders of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, has 
 met with such surprising success. 
 
 " It would perhaps have been more agreeable to the taste of politer 
 readers, if the following Journal had been cast into a different method, 
 and formed into one connected narrative. But the worthy author amidst 
 his continued labors, had no time to spare for such an undertaking. 
 Besides, the pious reader will take a peculiar pleasure to see this work 
 described in its native simplicity, and the operations of the Spirit upon 
 the minds of these poor benighted Pagans, laid down just in the method 
 and order in which they happened. This, it must be confessed, will 
 occasion frequent repetitions ; but these, as they tend to give a fuller 
 view of this amazing dispensation of divine grace in its rise and progress, 
 we trust, will be easily forgiven. 
 
 * When we see such numbers of the most ignorant and barbarous of 
 mankind, in the space of a few months, turned from darkness to light, 
 and from the power of sin and Satan unto God, it gives us encourage 
 ment to wait and pray for that blessed time, when our victorious Re 
 deemer shall, in a more signal manner than he has yet done, display the 
 banner of his cross, march on from conquering to conquer, till the king- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINEKD, ! 55 
 
 doms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord and of his Christ. 
 Yea, we cannot but lift up our heads with joy, and hope that it may be 
 the dawn of that bright and illustrious day, when the Sun of Righteous 
 ness shall arise and shine from one end of the earth to the other ; * 
 when, to use the language of the inspired prophets, * the Gentiles shall 
 come to his light, and kings to the brightness of his rising ; inconse 
 quence of which, the wilderness and solitary places shall be glad, and the 
 desert rejoice and blossom as the rose. 
 
 " It is doubtless the duty of all, in their different stations, and accord 
 ing to their respective capacities, to use their utmost endeavors to bring 
 forward this promised, this desired day. There is a great want of school 
 masters among these christianized Indians, to instruct their youth in the 
 English language, and the principles of the Christian faith for this, as 
 yet, there is no certain provision made ; if any are inclined to contribute to 
 so good a design, we are persuaded they will do an acceptable service to 
 the * kingdom of the Redeemer. And we earnestly desire the most in 
 digent to join, at least, in their wishes and prayers, that this work may 
 prosper more and more, till the whole earth is filled with the glory of the 
 Lord."* 
 
 " June 19. [At Crossweeksung,] I had spent most of my time, for 
 more than a year past among the Indians at the Forks of Delaware in 
 Pennsylvania. During that time I made two journeys to the Susque- 
 hannah to treat with the Indians on that river respecting Christianity ; 
 and,not having had any considerable appearance of special success in either 
 of those places, my spirits were depressed, and I was not a little discour 
 aged. Hearing that there was a number of Indians at a place called 
 Crossweeksung, in New Jersey, nearly eighty miles southeast from the 
 Forks of Delaware, I determined to make them a visit, and see what 
 might be done towards christianizing them ; and accordingly arrived among 
 them, June, 19, 1745. 
 
 " I found very few persons at the place which I visited, and perceived 
 that the Indians in these parts were very much scattered. There were 
 not more than two or three families in a place ; and these small settle 
 ments, six, ten, fifteen, twenty and thirty miles, and some more from that 
 place. However, I preached to those few I found ; who appeared well 
 disposed, serious and attentive; and not inclined to cavil and object, as the 
 Indians had done elsewhere. When I had concluded my discourse, I in 
 formed them, there being none but a few women and children, that I 
 would willingly visit them again the next day. Whereupon they readily 
 set out and travelled ten or fifteen miles, in order to give notice to some 
 of their friends at that distance. These women, like the women of 
 Samaria, seemed desirous that others should see the man. who had told 
 them what they had done in their past lives, and the miseryth.it attended 
 
15 6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 their idolatrous ways. At night was worn out, and scarcely able to walk, 
 or sit up. O ! how tiresome is earth; how dull the body ! 
 
 "June 20. Visited and preached to the Indians again as I proposed. 
 Numbers were gathered at the invitations of their friends, who had heard 
 me the day before. These also appeared as attentive, orderly and well 
 disposed as the others ; and none made any objectious, as Indians in 
 other places have usually done. Towards night preached to the Indians 
 again, and had more hearers than before. In the evening enjoyed some 
 peace and serenity of mind, and comfort and composure in prayer, alone ; 
 and was enabled to lift up my head with some degree cf joy, under r.u 
 apprehension that my redemption draws nigh. O, blessed be God, that 
 there remains a rest to his poor weary people ! 
 
 "June 21. Rode to Freehold to see Mr. William Tcnnent, and spent 
 the day comfortably with him. My sinking spirits were a little raised 
 and encouraged ; and I felt my soul breathing after God, in the midst of 
 Christian conversation ; and in the evening was refreshed in secret prayer ; 
 saw myself a poor worthless creature, without wisdom to direct or strength 
 to help myself. O blessed be God, who lays me under a happy, a blessed 
 necessity of living upoii himself! 
 
 "June 22. About noon rode to the Indians again, and next night 
 preached to them. Found my body much strengthened, and was enabled 
 to speak with abundant plainness and warmth. The number, which at 
 first consisted of seven or eight persons, was now increased to nearly 
 thirty. There was not only a solemn attention among them, but some 
 considerable impression, it was apparent, was made upon their minds by 
 divine truth. Some began to feel their misery, and perishing state, and 
 appeared concerned for a deliverance from it. The power of God 
 evidemly attended the word ; so that several persons were brought under 
 great concern for their souls, and made to shed many tears, and to wish 
 for Christ to save them. My soul was much refreshed and quickened in 
 my work ; and I could not but spend much time with them in order to 
 open both their misery and their remedy. This was indeed a sweet 
 afternoon to me. While riding, before I came to the Indians, my spirits 
 were refreshed, and my soul enabled to cry to God almost incessantly, 
 for many miles together. In the evening also, I found that the consola 
 tions of God were not small. I was then willing to live, and in some 
 respects desirous of it, that I might do something for the dear kingdom 
 of Christ ; and yet death appeared pleasant ; so that I was in some 
 measure in a strait between two ; having a desire to depart. I am often 
 weary of this world, and want to leave it on that account ; but it is desir 
 able to be drawn, rather than driven out of it. 
 
 day, June 23. Preached to the Indians, and spent the day 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 57 
 
 with them. Their number still increased; and all with one consent 
 seemed to rejoice in my coming among them. Not a word of opposition 
 was heard from any of them against Christianity, although in times past 
 they had been as much opposed to anything of that nature, as any In 
 dians whatsoever. Some of them not many months before, were enraged 
 with my interpreter, because he attempted to teach them something of 
 Christianity. 
 
 " June 24. Preached to the Indians at their desire, and upon their 
 own motion. To see poor pagans desirous of hearing the gospel of 
 Christ, animated me to discourse to them ; although I was now very 
 weakly, and my spirit much exhausted. They attended with the greatest 
 seriousness and diligence ; and some concern for their souls salvation 
 was apparent among them. 
 
 " Jitne 27. Visited and preach d to the Indians again. Their number 
 now amounted to about forty persons. Their solemnity and attention 
 still continued, and a considerable concern for their souls became very 
 apparent among numbers of them. My soul rejoiced to find, that God 
 enabled me to be faithful, and that he was now pleased to awaken these 
 poor Indians by my means. O how heart-reviving and soul-refreshing it 
 is to me, to see the fruit of my labors ! 
 
 "June 28. The Indians being now gathered, a considerable number of 
 them, from their several and distant habitations, requested me to preach 
 twice a day to them ; being desirous to hear as much as they possibly 
 could while I was with them. I cheerfully complied with their request, 
 and could not but admire the goodness of God, who I was persuaded, had 
 inclined them thus to inquire after the way of salvation. In the evening 
 my soul was revived, and my heart lifted up to God in prayer for my poor 
 Indians, myself, and friends, and the dear church of God. O how refresh 
 ing, how sweet was this ! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his 
 goodness and tender mercy ! 
 
 "Jztne2Q. Preached twice to the Indians ; and could not but wonder 
 at their seriousness, and the strictness of their attention. Saw, as I 
 thought, the hand of God very evidently, and in a manner somewhat 
 remarkable, making provision for their subsistence together, in order to 
 their being instructed in divine things. For this day, and the day before, 
 with only walking a little way from the place of our daily meeting, they 
 killed three deer, which were a seasonable supply for their wants, and 
 without which they could not have subsisted together in order to attend 
 the means of grace. Blessed be God who has inclined their hearts to 
 hear. O how refreshing it is to me to see them attend, with such un 
 common diligence and affection, with tears in their eyes and concern in 
 their hearts ! In the evening, could not but lift up my heart to God in 
 prayer, while riding to my lodging ; and, blessed be his name, had as- 
 
158 MEMOIRS OF DRATNERD. 
 
 sistance and freedom. O how much better than life is the presence o{ 
 God! 
 
 " Lord s day, June 30. Preached twice this clay also. Observed yet 
 more concern and affection among the poor heathens than ever ; so that 
 they even constrained me to tarry yet longer with them, although my 
 constitution was exceedingly worn out, and my health much impaired by 
 ny late fatigues and labors ; and especially by my late journey to Sus- 
 qnehannah in May last, in which I lodged on the ground for several 
 weeks together. 
 
 "July i. Preached again twice to a very serious and attentive assembly 
 of Indians; they having now learned to attend the worship of God with 
 Christian decency in all respects. There were now between forty and 
 fifty persons of them present, old and young. I spent a considerable 
 time in discoursing with them in a more private way; inquiring of them 
 what they remembered of the great truths which had been taught them 
 from day to day ; and may justly say, it was amazing to see how they had 
 received and retained the instructions given them, and what a measure of 
 knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days. 
 
 " July 2. Was obliged to leave these Indians at Crossweeksung, 
 thinking it my duty as soon as my health would admit, again to visit 
 those at the Forks of Delaware. When I came to take leave of them 
 and to speak particularly to each of them, they all earnestly inquired 
 when I would come again, and expressed a great desire of being further 
 instructed. Of their own accord they agreed, that when I should come 
 again, they would all meet and live together, during my continuance with 
 them ; and that they would use their utmost endeavors to gather all the 
 other Indians in these parts who were yet more remote. When I parted 
 from them, one told me, with many tears, She wished God would 
 change her heart; another, that she wanted to find Christ; and an 
 old man, who had been one of their chiefs, wept bitterly with concern for 
 his soul. I then promised them to return as speedily as my health and 
 business elsewhere would permit, and felt not a little concern at parting, 
 lest the good impressions, then apparent upon numbers of them, might 
 decline and wear off, when the means came to cease. Yet I could not 
 but hope, that he, who I trusted, had begun a good work among them, 
 and who, I knew, did not stand in need of means to carry it on, would 
 maintain and promote it. At the same time, I must confess, that I had 
 often seen encouraging appearance s among the Indians elsewhere, prove 
 wholly abortive, and it appeared that the favor would be too great, if God 
 should now, after I had passed through so considerable a series of almost 
 fruitless labors and fatigues, and after my rising hopes had been so often 
 frustrated among these poor pagans, give me any special success in my 
 labors with them, I could not believe, and scarcely dartd to hope, that 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 59 
 
 the event would be so happy ; and scarcely ever found myself more sus 
 pended between hope and (e^r in any affair, or at any time, than in this. 
 
 " This encouraging disposition, and readiness to receive instruction, 
 now apparent among the Indians, seems to have been the happy effect of 
 the conviction which one or two of them met with, sometime since at the 
 Forks of Delaware ; who have since endeavored to show their friends 
 the evil of idolatry. Though the other Indians seemed but little to 
 regard, nnd rather to deride, them ; yet this, perhaps, has put them into 
 a thinking posture of mind, or at least, given them some thoughts about 
 Christianity, and excited in some of them a curiosity to hear ; and so 
 made way for the present encouraging attention. An apprehension that 
 this might be the case, here, has given me encouragement that God may, 
 in such a manner, bless the means which I have used with the Indians 
 in other places; where, as yet, there is no appearance of it. If so, may 
 hi* name have the glory of it : for I have learnt, by experience, that he 
 only can open the ear, engage the attention, and incline the hearts of 
 poor benighted, prejudiced pagans to receive instruction. 
 
 "Rode from the Indians to Brunswick, nearly forty miles and lodged 
 there. Felt my heart drawn after God in prayer, almost all the forenoon, 
 especially in riding. In the evening, I could not help crying to God for 
 those poor Indians ; and, after I went to bed, my heart continued to go 
 out to God for them till I dropped asleep. O, blessed be God, that I 
 may pray ! " 
 
 He was now so fatigued by constant preaching to these 
 Indians, yielding to their importunate desires, that he found 
 it necessary to give himself some relaxation. He spent, 
 therefore, about a week in New Jersey, after he left the In 
 dians ; visiting several ministers, and performing some ne 
 cessary business, before he went to the Forks of Delaware. 
 Though he was weak in body, yet he seems to have been 
 strong in spirit. On Friday, July 12, he arrived at his own 
 house in the Forks of Delaware ; continuing still free from 
 melancholy ; from day to day enjoying freedom, assistance, 
 and refreshment in the inner man. But on Wednesday, the 
 next week, he seems to have had some melancholy thoughts 
 about his doing so little for God, being so much hindered by 
 weakness of body. 
 
 " Lord s day, July 14. [At Forks of Delaware.] Discoursed to the 
 Indians twice. Several of them appeared concerned, and were, I have 
 reason to think, in some measure convinced by the Divine Spirit of their 
 
160 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 sin and misery ; so that they wept much the whole time of divine service. 
 Afterwards, discoursed to a number of white people then present. 
 
 "July 18. Preached to my people, who attended diligently beyond 
 what had been common among these Indians; and some of them appeared 
 concerned for their souls. Longed to spend the little inch of time I have 
 in the world, more for God. Felt a spirit of seriousness, tenderness, 
 sweetness and devotion ; and wished to spend the whole night in prayer 
 and communion with God. 
 
 "July *9- In the evening, walked abroad for prayer and meditation, 
 and enjoyed composure and freedom in these sweet exercises, especially 
 in meditation on Rev. iii, 12; Him that overcometh, will I make a pillar 
 in the temple of my God. etc. This was then a delightful theme to me, 
 and it refreshed my soul to dwell on it. O when shall I go no more out 
 from the service and enjoyment of the dear Redeemer ! Lord hasten the 
 blessed day ! 
 
 " Lord s day, July 21. Preached to the Indians first ; then to a number 
 of white people present ; and in the afternoon, to the Indians again. 
 Divine truth seemed to make very considerable impressions upon several 
 of them, and caused the tears to flow freely. Afterwards I baptized my 
 interpreter, and his wife, who were the first whom I baptized among the 
 Indians. 
 
 They are both persons of some experimental knowledge in religion ; 
 have both been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls ; have to 
 appearance, been brought to a sense of their misery, and undoneness in 
 themselves ; have both appeared to be comforted with divine consola 
 tions ; and it is apparent that both have passed a great and I cannot but 
 hope, a saving, change. It may perhaps be satisfactory and agreeable, 
 that I should give some brief relation of this man s exercises and expe 
 rience, since he has been with me ; especially since he is employed as my 
 interpreter to others. When I first employed him in this business, in the 
 beginning of the summer of 1744, he was well fitted for his work, in re 
 gard to his acquaintance with the Indian and English languages, as well 
 as with the manners of both nations ; and in regard to his desire that the 
 Indians should conform to the manners and customs of the English, and 
 especially to their manner of living. But he seemed to have little or no 
 impression of religion upon his mind, and in that respect was very unfit 
 for his work ; being incapable of understanding and communicating to 
 others many things of importance, so that I labored under great disadvan 
 tages in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an experimental, 
 as well as more doctrinal acquaintance with divine truths ; and, at times, 
 my spirits sunk, and were much discouraged under this difficulty ; espe 
 cially when I observed that divine truths made little or no impressions 
 upon his mind for many weeks together. lie indeed behaved soberly after 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 1 6 1 
 
 I employed him ; although before, he had been a hard drinker ; and 
 seemed honestly engaged, as far as he was capable, in the performance of 
 his work. Especially he appeared very desirous that the Indians should 
 renounce their heathenish notions and practices, and conform to the cus 
 toms of the Christian world. But still he seemed to have no concern 
 about his own soul, until he had been with me a considerable time. 
 
 The latter end of July, 1744, I preached to an assembly of white 
 people, with more freedom and fervency than I could possibly address the 
 Indians with, without their having first obtained a greater measure of 
 doctrinal knowledge. At this time he was present, and was somewh.it 
 awakened to a concern for his soul ; so that the next day, he discoursed 
 freely with me about his spiritual concerns, and gave me an opportunity 
 to use further endeavors to fasten the impressions of his perishing state 
 upon his mind. I could plainly perceive, for some time after this, that 
 he addressed the Indians with more concern and fervency than he had 
 formerly done. 
 
 " But these impressions seemed quickly to decline; and he remained, 
 in a great measure, careless and secure, until some time late in the autumn 
 of the year following ; when he fell into a weak and languishing state of 
 body ; and continued much disordered for several weeks together. At 
 this season, divine truth took hold of him, and made deep impressions 
 upon his mind. He was brought under great concern for his soul ; and his 
 exercises were not now transient and unsteady, but constant and abiding, 
 so that his mind was burdened from day to day; and it was now his great 
 inquiry, What he should do to be saved ? This spiritual trouble pre 
 vailed, until his sleep, in a great measure, departed from him, and he had 
 little rest day or night; but walked about under great pressure of mind, 
 for he was still able to walk, and appeared like another man to his neigh 
 bors, who could not but observe his behavior with wonder. After he had 
 been for some time under this exercise, while he was striving to obtain 
 mercy, he says there seemed to be an impassable mountain before him. 
 He was pressing towards heaven, as he thought ; but his way was 
 hedged up with thorns, so that he could not stir an inch further. He 
 looked this way and that way, but could find no way at all. He thought 
 if he could but make his way through these thorns and briers, and climb 
 up the first steep pitch of the mountain, that then there might be hope 
 for him ; but no way or means could he find to accomplish this. Here he 
 labored for a time, but all in vain. He saw it was impossible, he says, 
 for him ever to help himself through this insupportable difficulty. It 
 signified just nothing at all for him to struggle and strive any more. 
 Here, he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a gone case 
 with him, as to his own power, and that all his attempts were, and for 
 ever would be, vain and fruitless. Yet he was more calm and composed 
 under this view of things, than he had been while striving to help himself. 
 
1 62 MEMOIRS OF BRA! NERD. 
 
 "While he was giving me this account of his exercises, I was not 
 without fears, that what he related was but the working of his own im 
 agination, and not the effect of any divine illumination of mind. But, 
 before I had time to discover my fears, he added, that at this time he 
 felt himself in a miserable and perishing condition : that he saw plainly 
 what he had been doing all his days ; and that he had never done one 
 good thing, as he expresses it. He knew he was not guilty of some 
 wicked actions, of which he knew some others guilty. He had not been 
 accustomed to steal, quarrel, and murder ; the latter of which vices is 
 common among the Indians. He likewise knew that he had clone many 
 things that were right ; he had been kind to his neighbors, etc. But 
 still, his cry was, that he had never done one good thing. I knew, 
 said he, that I had not been so bad as some others in some things ; 
 and that I had done many things which folks call good ; but all this did 
 me no good now. I saw that all was bad, and that I had never done 
 one good thing ; meaning that he had never done anything from a right 
 principle, and with a right view, though he had done many things, that 
 were materially good and right. And now, I thought, said he, that I 
 must sink down to hell ; that there was no hope for me, because I never 
 could do anything that was good ; and if God let me alone ever so long, 
 and I should try ever so much, still I should do nothing but what is bad. 
 This further account of his exercises satisfied me, that it was not the 
 mere working of his imagination ; since he appeared so evidently to die 
 to himself, and to be divorced from a dependence upon his own righteous 
 ness, and good deeds, to which mankind, in a fallen state, are so much 
 attached ; and upon which they are so ready to hope for salvation. 
 
 " There was one thing more in his view of things at this time, which 
 was very remarkable. He not only saw, he says, what a miserable state 
 he himself was in, but he likewise saw that the world around him, in 
 general, were in the same perishing circumstances, notwithstanding the 
 profession which many of them made of Christianity, and the hope which 
 they entertained of obtaining everlasting happiness. This he saw clearly,as 
 if he was now waked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken from his eyes. He 
 saw that the life which he had lived was the way to eternal death, that he 
 was now on the brink of endless misery ; and when he looked around he 
 saw multitudes of others, who had lived the same life with himself, persons 
 who had no more goodness than he, and yet dreamed that they were 
 safe enough, as he had formerly done. He was fully persuaded, by their 
 conversation and behavior, that they had never felt their sin and misery, 
 as he now felt his. 
 
 "After he had been for some time in this condition, sensible of the 
 impossibility of helping himself by anything which he could do, or of 
 being delivered by any created arm; so that he had given up all for 
 lost, as to his own attempts, and was become more calm and composed ; 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAT NERD. 163 
 
 then, he says, it was borne in upon his mind, as it it had been audibly 
 spoken to him, There is hope, there is hope. Whereupon his soul 
 seemed to rest, and he in some measure satisfied, though he had no con 
 siderable joy. 
 
 " He cannot here remember distinctly any views he had of Christ, or 
 give any clea r account of his soul s acceptance of him, which makes his 
 experience appear the more doubtful, and renders it less satisfactory to 
 himself and others than it might be, if he could remember distinctly the 
 apprehensions and actings of his mind at this season. But these exer 
 cises of soul were attended and followed with a very great change in the 
 man; so that it might justly be said he was become another man, if not a 
 new man. His conversation and deportment were much altered; and 
 even the careless world could not but wonder what had befallen him, to 
 make so great a change in his temper, discourse, and behavior. Especi 
 ally there was a surprising alteration in his public performances. He 
 now addressed the Indians with admirable fervency, and scarcely knew 
 when to leave off. Sometimes, when I had concluded my discourse and 
 was returning homeward, he would tarry behind to repeat and inculcate 
 what had been spoken. 
 
 " His change is abiding, and his life, so far as I know, unblemished 
 to this clay ; though it is now more than six months since he experienced 
 this change ; in which space of time he has been as much exposed to 
 strong drink as possible, in clivers places where it has been moving as 
 free as water ; and yet has never, that I know of, discovered any hanker 
 ing desire after it. He seems to have a very considerable experience of 
 spiritual exercise, and discourses feelingly of the conflicts and consola 
 tions of a real Christ : an. His heart echoes to the soul humbling doc 
 trines of grace, and he never appears better pleased than when he hears 
 of the absolute sovereignly of God, and the salvation of sinners in a way 
 of mere free grace. He has lately had also more satisfaction respecting 
 his own state ; and has been much enlightened and assisted in his work ; 
 so that-he has been a great comfort to me. 
 
 "After a strict observation of his serious and savory conversation, 
 his Christian temper, and unblemished behavior for such a length of time, 
 as well as his experience, of which I have given an account: I think that 
 I have reason to hope that he is created anew in Christ Jesus to good 
 works. His name is Moses Finda Fautaury. He is about fifty years of 
 age, vind is pretty well acquainted with the pagan notions and customs of 
 his countrymen; and so is the better able now to expose them. He has, 
 I am persuaded, already been, and I trust will yet be, a blessing to the 
 other Indians. 
 
 "July 23. Preached to the Indians, but had few hearers. Those who 
 of late are constantly at home, seem, of late, to be under some impressions 
 of a religious nature. 
 
1 64 MEMOIRS OF BRALVERD. 
 
 "July 26. Preached to my people, and afterwards baptized my in 
 terpreter s children. In the evening, God was pleased to help me in 
 prayer, beyond what I have experienced for some time. Especially, my 
 soul was drawn out for the encouragement of Christ s kingdom, and for 
 the conversion of my poor people; and my soul relied on God for the 
 accomplishment of that great work. How sweet were the thoughts of 
 death to me at this time ! How I longed to be with Christ, to be employed 
 in the glorious work of angels, and with an angel s vigor and delight ! 
 Yet how willing was I to stay awhile on earth, that I might do something, 
 if the Lord pleased for his interest in the world, My soul, my very soul, 
 longed for the ingathering of the poor heathen ; and I cried to God most 
 willingly and heartily. I could not but cry. This was a sweet season ; 
 for I had some lively taste of Heaven, and a temper of mind suited in 
 some measure to the employments and entertainments of it. My soul 
 was grieved to leave the place ; but my body was weak and worn out, 
 and it was nearly nine o clock. I longed that the remaining part of life 
 might be filled up with more fervency and activity in the things of God. 
 O the inward peace, composure, and godlike serenity of such a frame ! 
 Heaven must differ from this only in degree, not in kind. Lord ! ever 
 give me this bread of life. 
 
 " Lorcfs day, July 28. Preached again, and found my people, at least 
 some of them, more thoughtful than ever about their souls concerns. I 
 was told by some, that their seeing my interpreter, and others, baptized, 
 made them more concerned than anything they had ever seen or heard 
 before. There was, indeed, a considerable appearance of divine power 
 among them, while the ordinance was administered. May that divine 
 influence spread and increase more abundantly ! In the evening, my 
 soul was melted, and my heart broken with a sense of past barrenness and 
 deadness. O how I then longed to live to God, and bring forth much 
 fruit to his glory ! July 29. Was much exercised with a sense of vileness, 
 with guilt and shame, before God. Discoursed to a number of my people, 
 and gave them some particular advice and direction ; being now about to 
 leave them, for the present, in order to renew my visit to the Indians in 
 New-Jersey. They were very attentive to my discourse, and earnestly 
 desirous to know when I designed to return to them again." 
 
 July 31, he set out on his return to Crossweeksung, and 
 arrived there the next day. In his way thither, he had 
 longing desires, that he might come to the Indians there in 
 the fullness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ, attended 
 with a sense of his own great weakness, dependence, and 
 worthlessness. 
 
 " August 2, [At Crossweeksung]. In the evening, I retired, and my 
 
MEMOIRS OF DRAINLRD. 165 
 
 soul was drawn out in prayer to God ; especially for my poor people, to 
 whom I had sent word that they might gather together, that I might preach 
 to them the next day. I was much enlarged in praying for their saving 
 conversion; and scarcely ever found my desires of anything of this nature 
 so sensibly and clearly, to my own satisfaction, disinterested, and free 
 from selfish views. It seemed to me I had no care, or hardly any desire, 
 to be the instrument of so glorious a woik as I wished and prayed for 
 among the Indians. If the blessed work might be accomplished to the 
 honor of God, and the enlargement of the dear Redeemer s kingdom ; 
 this was all my desire and care ; and for this mercy I hoped, but with 
 trembling; for I felt what Job expresses, chap, ix., 16, If I had called, 
 and he had answered me, yet would I not believe that he had hearkened 
 unto my voice. My rising hopes, respecting the conversion of the In 
 dians, have been so often dashed, that my spirit is, as it were, broken, and 
 my courage wasted, and I hardly dare hope. I visited the Indians in 
 these parts in June last, and tarried with them a considerable time, preach 
 ing almost daily : at which season, God was pleased to pour upon them a 
 spirit of awakening, and concern for their souls, and surprisingly to engage 
 their attention to divine truths. I now found them serious, and a number 
 of them under deep concern for an interest in Christ. Their convictions 
 of their sinful and perishing state were, in my absence from them, much 
 promoted by the labors and endeavors of Rev. William Tennent; to whom 
 I had advised them to apply for direction ; and whose house they fre 
 quented much while I was gone. I preached to them this day with some 
 view to Rev. xxii. 17. And whosoever will, let him take of the water of 
 life free 1 )*; though I could not pretend to handle the subject methodi 
 cally among them. The Lord, I am persuaded, enabled me, in a manner 
 somewhat uncommon, to set before them the Lord Jesus Christ as a kind 
 and compassionate Saviour, inviting distressed and perishing sinners to 
 accept everlasting mercy. A surprising concern soon became apparent 
 among them. There were about twenty adult persons together; many of 
 the Indians, at remote places, not having, as yet, had time to come since 
 my return hither; and not above two that I could see with dry eyes. 
 Some were much concerned, and discovered vehement longings of soul 
 after Christ, to save them from the misery they felt and feared. 
 
 "Lord s day, Aug. 4. Being invited by a neighboring minister, to 
 assist in the administration of the Lord s supper, I complied with his 
 request, and took the Indians along with me , not only those who were 
 together the day before, but many more who were coming to hear me; so 
 that there were nearly fifty in all, oM and young. They attended the 
 several discourses of the day; and, some of them, who could understand 
 English, were much affected; and all seemed to have their concern in 
 some measure raised. A change in their manners began to appear very 
 visible. In the evening, when they came to sup together, they would not 
 
1 66 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 take a morsel until they had sent to me to come and supplicate a blessing 
 on their food; at which time, sundry of them wept ; especially when I 
 reminded them how they had, in tirres past, eat their feasts in honor to 
 devils, and neglected to thank God for them. 
 
 " August 5. After a sermon had been preached by another minister, 
 I preached, and concluded the public work of the solemnity, from John 
 vii, 37. In the last day, etc ; and, in my discourse, addressed the 
 Indians in particular, who sat in a part of the house by themselves; at 
 which time, one or tv/o of them were struck with deep concern, as they 
 afterwards told me, who had been little affected before ; and others had 
 their concern increased to a considerable degree. In the evening, the 
 greater part of them being at the house where I lodged, I discoursed to 
 them ; and found them universally engaged about their souls concerns ; 
 inquiring what they should do to be saved. All their conversation 
 among themselves, turned upon religious matters, in which they were much 
 assisted by my interpreter, who was with them day and ivght. This day 
 there was one woman, who had been much concerned for her soul ever 
 since she first heard me preach, in June last, who obtained comfort, I 
 trust, solid and well grounded. She seemed to be filled with love to 
 Christ. At the same time she behaved humbly and tenderly, and appeared 
 afraid of nothing so much as of offending and grieving him whom her 
 soul loved. 
 
 " Aug. 6. In the morning I discoursed to the Indians at the house 
 where we lodged. Many of them were much affected, and appeared 
 suprisingly tender; so that a few words about the concerns of their souls 
 vo .ild cause the tears to How freely, and produce many sobs and groans. 
 In the afternoon, they being returned to the place where I had usually 
 preached among them, I again discoursed to them there. There were 
 about fifty-five persons in all ; about forty that were capable of attending 
 Divine service with understanding. I insisted on i John iv., 10. Herein 
 is love, etc. They seemed eager of hearing ; but there appeared nothing 
 very remarkable, except their attention, till near the close of my dis 
 course ; and then Divine truths were attended with a surprising influence, 
 and produced a great concern among them. There were scarcely three in 
 forty who could refrain from tears and bitter cries. They all as one 
 seemed in an agony of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; and the 
 more I discoursed of the love and compassion of God in sending his Son 
 to suffer for the sins of men; and the more I invited them to come and 
 partake of his love; the more their distress was aggravated, because they 
 felt themselves unable to come. It was surprising to see how their hearts 
 seemed to be pierced with the tender and melting invitations of the 
 gospel, when there was not a word of terror spoken to them. 
 
 " There was this day two persons who obtained relief and comfort ; 
 
ME MO IKS OF BRAIXEKD. 167 
 
 which, when I came to discourse with them particularly, appeared solid, 
 rational and scriptural. After I had inquired into the grounds of their 
 comfort, and said many things which I thought proper to them ; I asked 
 them what they wanted that God should do further for them ? They re 
 plied, they wanted Christ should wipe their hearts quite clean, etc. So 
 surprising were now the doings of the Lord, that I can say no less of this 
 day, and I need say no more of it, than that the arm of the Lord was 
 powerfully and marvelously revealed in it. 
 
 " Aug. 7. Preached to the Indians from Is. liii, 3-10. There was a 
 remarkable influence attending the word, and great concern in the 
 assembly ; but scarcely equal to what appeared the day before ; that is, not 
 quite so universal. However, most were much affected, and many in 
 great distress for their souls ; and some few could neither go nor stand, 
 but lay flat on the ground as if pierced at heart, crying incessantly for 
 mercy. Several were newly awakened ; and it was remarkable that, as 
 fast as they came from remote places round about, the Spirit of God 
 seemed to seize them with concern for their souls. After public service 
 was concluded, I found two persons more who had newly met with com 
 fort, of whom I had good hopes ; and a third, of whom I could not but 
 entertain some hopes, whose case did not appear so clear as the others ; 
 so that there were now six in all, who had got some relief from their 
 spiritual distresses ; and five, whose experience appeared very clear and 
 satisfactory. It is worthy of remark, that those who obtained comfort 
 first, were in general deeply affected with concern for their souls, when I 
 preached to them in June last. 
 
 " Aug. 8. In the afternoon I preached to the Indians, their number 
 was now about sixty-five persons, men, women, and children. I discoursed 
 upon Luke xiv. 16-23, and was favored with uncommon freedom in my 
 discourse. There was much visible concern among them, while I was 
 discoursing publicly ; but afterwards, when I spoke to one and another 
 more particularly, whom I perceived ur.der much concern, the power of God 
 seemed to descend upon the assembly like a mighty rushing wind, and 
 with an astonishing energy bore down all before it. I stood amazed at the 
 influence, which seized the audience almost universally ; and could compare 
 it to nothing more aptly, than the irresistible force of a mighty torrent or 
 swelling deluge, that with its insupportable weight and pressure bears 
 down and sweeps before it whatever comes in its way. Almost all persons 
 of all ages were bowed down with concern together, and scarcely one was 
 able to withstand the shock of this surprising operation. Old men and 
 women, who had been drunken wretches for many years, and some little 
 children, not more than six or seven years of age, appeared in distress for 
 their souls, as well as persons of middle age. It was apparent that these 
 children, some of them at least, were not merely frightened with seeing the 
 
1 68 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 general concern ; but were made sensible of their danger, the badness of 
 their hearts, and their misery without Christ, as some of them expressed 
 it. The most stubborn hearts were now obliged to bow. A principal 
 man among the Indians, who before was most secure and self-righteous, 
 and thought his state good, because he knew more than the generality of 
 the Indians had formerly done ; and who with a great degree of confidence 
 the day before told me he had been a Christian more than ten years ; 
 was now brought under solemn concern for his soul, and wept bitterly. 
 Another man advanced in years, who had been a murderer, a powwow or 
 conjurer, and a notorious drunkard, was likewise brought now to cry for 
 mercy with many tears, and to complain much that he could be no more 
 concerned when he saw his danger so very great. 
 
 " They were almost universally praying and crying for mercy in every 
 part of the house, and many out of doors ; and numbers could neither go 
 nor stand. Their concern was so great, each one for himself, that none 
 seemed to take any notice of those about them, but each prayed freely for 
 himself. I am led to think they were, to their own apprehensions, as 
 much retired as if they had been individually by themselves, in the thick 
 est desert ; or I believe rather that they thought nothing about anything 
 but themselves, and their own state, and so were every one praying apart, 
 although all together. It seemed to me that there was now an exact fulfill 
 ment of that prophecy Zech. xii, 10, n, 12 ; for there was now a great 
 mourning, like the mourning of Hadadrimmon ; and each seemed to 
 mourn apart. Methought this had a near resemblance to the day of God s 
 power, mentioned Josh, x., 14 ; for I must say I never saw any day like 
 it, in all respects : it was a day wherein I am persuaded the Lord did 
 much to destroy the kingdom of darkness among this people. 
 
 " This concern, in general, was most rational and just. Those who had 
 been awakened any considerable time, complained more especially of the 
 badness of their hearts; and those who were newly awakened, of the bad 
 ness of their lives and actions ; and all were afraid of the anger of God, and of 
 everlasting misery as the desert of their sins. Some of the white people, 
 who came out of curiosity to hear what this babbler would say to the poor 
 ignorant Indians, were much awakened ; and some appeared to be 
 wounded with a view of their perishing state. Those who had lately ob 
 tained relief, were filled with comfort at this season. They appeared calm 
 and composed, and seemed to rejoice in Christ Jesus. Some of them took 
 their distressed friends by the hand, telling them of the goodness of Christ, 
 and the comfort that is to be enjoyed in him ; and thence invited them to 
 come and give up their hearts to him. I could observe some of them, in 
 the most honest and unaffected manner, without any design of being taken 
 notice of, lifting up their eyes to heaven, as if crying for mercy, while t hey 
 saw the distress of the poor souls around them. There was one remark 
 able instance of awakening this day which I cannot fail to notice here. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. I g 
 
 A young Indian woman, who, I believe, never knew before that she had 
 a soul, nor ever thought of any such thing, hearing that there was some 
 thing strange among the Indians, came to see what was the matter. In 
 her way to the Indians she called at my lodgings; and when I told her 
 that I designed presently to preach to the Indians, laughed, and seemed 
 to mock, but went however to them. I had not proceeded far in my dis 
 course before she felt effectually that she had a soul ; and, before I had 
 concluded my discourse, was so convinced of her sin and misery, and so 
 distressed with concern for her soul s salvation, that she seemed like one 
 pierced through with a dart, and cried out incessantly. She could neither 
 go nor stand, nor sit on her seat without being held up. After public ser 
 vice was over, she lay flat on the ground, praying earnestly, and would 
 take no notice of, nor give any answer to any who spoke to her. I heark 
 ened to hear what she said, and perceived the burden of her prayer to be, 
 Guttummaukalummeh wechaumeh kmeleh Nolah. i. e. Have mercy on 
 me, and help me to give you my heart. Thus she continued praying in 
 cessantly for many hours together. This was indeed a surprising day of 
 God s power, and seemed enough to convince an Atheist of the truth, im 
 portance, and power of God s word. 
 
 " Aug. 9. Spent almost the whole day with the Indians ; the former 
 part of it in discoursing to many of them privately, and especially to some 
 who had lately received comfort, and endeavoring to inquire into the 
 grounds of it, as well as to give them some proper instructions, cautions and 
 directions. In the afternoon discoursed to them publicly. They were 
 now present about seventy persons, old and young. I opened and applied 
 the parable of the sower, Matt. xiii. Was enabled to discourse with much 
 plainness, and found afterwards that this discourse was very instructive to 
 them. There were many tears among them, while I was discoursing pub 
 licly, but no considerable cry ; yet some were much affected with a few 
 words spoken from Matt. xii. 28. Come unto me all ye that labor, etc., 
 with which I concluded my discourse. But, while I was discoursing 
 near night to two or three of the awakened persons, a Divine influence 
 seemed to attend what was spoken to them in a powerful manner ; which 
 caused the persons to cry out in anguish of soul, although I spoke not a 
 word of terror ; but on the contrary, set before them the fullness and all- 
 sufficiency of Christ s merits, and his willingness to save all that come to him 
 and thereupon pressed them to come without delay. The cry of these was 
 soon heard by others, who, though scattered before, immediately gathered 
 round. I then proceeded in the same strain of gospel invitation, till they 
 were all melted into tears and cries, except two or three ; and seemed in 
 the greatest distress to find and secure an interest in the great Redeemer. 
 Some, who had little more than a ruffle made in their passions the day 
 before, seemed now to be deeply affected and wounded at heart ; and the 
 
I7 o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 concern in general appeared nearly as prevalent as it was the day before, 
 there was indeed a very great mourning among them, and yet every one 
 seemed to mourn apart. For so great was their concern, that almost 
 every one was praying and crying for himself, as if none had been near. 
 * Guttummuuhalummeh ; guttummauhalummeh i., e., Have mercy 
 upon me ; have mercy upon me; was the common cry. It was very af 
 fecting to see the poor Indians, who the other day were hallooing 
 and yelling in their idolatrous feasts and drunken frolics, now crying to 
 God with such importunity for an interest in his dear Son! Found two 
 or three persons who, I had reason to hope, had taken comfort upon 
 good grounds since the evening before ; and these, with others who had 
 obtained comfort, were together, and seemed to rejoice much that God 
 was carrying on his work with such power upon others. 
 
 "Aug. 10. Rode to the Indians, and began to discourse more pri 
 vately to those who had obtained comfort and satisfaction ; endeavoring 
 to instruct, direct, caution, and comfort them. But others, being eager 
 of hearing every word which related to spiritual concerns, soon came 
 together one after another; and, when I had discoursed to the young 
 converts more than half an hour, they seemed much melted with divine 
 things, and earnestly desirous to be with Christ. I told them of the 
 godly soul s perfect purity, and full enjoyment of Christ, immediately 
 upon its separation from the body ; and that it would be inconceivably 
 more happy than they had ever been for any short space of time, when 
 Christ seemed near to them in prayer or other duties. That I might 
 make way for speaking of the resurrection of the body, and thence of the 
 complete blessedness of the man : I said, But perhaps some of you 
 will say, I love my body as well as my soul, and I cannot bear to think 
 that my body shall lie dead, if my soul is happy. To which they all 
 cheerfully replied, Muttoh, muttoh; before I- had opportunity to 
 prosecute what I designed respecting the resurrection ; i. e. No, no. 
 They did not regard their bodies, if their souls might be with Christ. 
 Then they appeared willing to be absent from the body, that they might 
 be present with the Lord. 
 
 " When I had spent some time with them, I turned to the other 
 Indians, and spoke to them from Luke xix. 10. For the son of man is 
 come to seek, etc., I had not discoursed long, before their concern rose 
 to a great degree ; and the house was filled with cries and groans. 
 When I insisted on the compassion and care of the Lord Jesus Christ 
 for those that were lost, who thought themselves undone, and could find 
 no way of escape ; this melted them down the more, and aggravated 
 their distress, that they could not find and come to so kind a Saviour. 
 
 " Sundry persons, who before had been slightly awakened, were now 
 deeply wounded with a sense of their sin and misery. One man in par- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 171 
 
 ticular, who was never before awakened, was now made to feel that the 
 word of the Lord was quick and powerful, and sharper than any two- 
 edged sword. He seemed to be pierced at heart with distress ; and his 
 concern appeared most rational and scriptural, for he said that all the 
 wickedness of his past life was brought fresh to his remembrance, and 
 that he saw all the vile actions he had done formerly, as if done but 
 yesterday. Found one who had newly received comfort, after pressing 
 distress from day to day. Could not but rejoice, and admire the Divine 
 goodness in what appeared this day. There seems to be some good done 
 by every discourse ; some newly awakened every day, and some com 
 forted. It was refreshing to observe the conduct of those who obtained 
 comfort ; while others were distressed with fear and concern ; that is 
 lifting up their hearts to God for them. 
 
 "Lai-d s day, Aug. 1 1. Discoursed in the forenoon from the parable of 
 the prodigal son, Luke xv. Observed no such remarkable effect of the 
 word upon the assembly as in days past. There were numbers of care 
 less spectators of the white people, some Quakers and others. In the after 
 noon, discoursed upon a part of St. Peter s sermon, Acts ii. and at the close 
 of my discourse to the Indians, made an address to the white people ; and 
 divine truths seemed then to be attended with power, both to English and 
 Indians. Several of the white heathen were awakened, and could not longer 
 be idle spectators ; but found they had souls to save or lose as well as the 
 Indians ; and a great concern spread through the whole assembly. So 
 that this also appeared to be a clay of God s power, especially towards 
 the conclusion of it, although the influence attending the word seemed 
 scarcely so powerful now as in days past. 
 
 " The number of Indians, old and young, was now upwards of seventy ; 
 and one or two were newly awakened this day, who never had appeared 
 to be moved with concern for their souls before. Those who had ob 
 tained re iei and comfort, and had given hopeful evidences of having 
 passed a saving change, appeared humble and devout, and behaved in an 
 agreeable and Christian-like manner. I was refreshed to see the tender 
 ness of conscience manifest in some of them ; one instance of which I 
 cannot but notice. Perceiving one of them very sorrowful in the morning, 
 I inquired into the cause of her sorrow, and found the difficulty was, that 
 she had been angry with her child the evening before, and was now exer 
 cised with fears, lest her anger had been inordinate and sinful ; which so 
 grieved her, that ?he waked and began to sob before daylight, and con 
 tinued weeping for several hours together, 
 
 " An 14. Spent the day with the Indians. There was one of them, 
 who had, some time since, put away his wife, as is common amongst them, 
 and taken another woman ; and, being now brought under some serious 
 impressions, was much concerned about that affair in particular, and 
 
1 7 2 MEMOIRS OF BRA tXERD. 
 
 seemed fully convinced of the wickedness of the practice, and earnestly 
 desired to know what God would have him to do in his present circumstan 
 ces. When the law of God respecting marriage, had been opened to them, 
 and the. cause of his leaving his wife inquired into; and when it appeared 
 th.it she had given him no just occasion, by unchastity, to desert her, znd 
 that she was willing to forgive his past misconduct and to live peaceably 
 with him for the future, and that she moreover insisted on it as her right 
 to live with him ; he was then told, that it was his indispensable duty to 
 i enounce the woman whom he had last taken, and receive the other who was 
 his proper wife, and live peaceably with her during life. With this, he 
 readily and cheerfully complied ; and, thereupon, publicly renounced 
 the woman he had last taken, and publicly promised to live with and be 
 kind to his wife during life ; she, also, promising the same to him. Here 
 appeared a clear demonstration of the power of God s word upon their 
 hearts. I suppose a few weeks before, the whole world could not have 
 persuaded this man to a compliance with Christian rules in this affair. 
 
 " I was not without fears that this proceeding might be like putting 
 new wine into old bottles ; and that some might be prejudiced against 
 Christianity, when they saw the demands made by it. But, the man be 
 ing much concerned about the matter, the determination of it could be de 
 ferred no longer ; and it seemed to have a good rather than an ill effect 
 among the Indians ; who generally owned that the laws of Christ were 
 good and right, respecting the affairs of marriage. In tne afternoon, I 
 preached to them from the apostle s discourse to Cornelius, Acts x. 
 34. There appeared some affectionate concern among them, though 
 not equal to what appeared in several of the former days. They still at 
 tended and heard as for their lives, and the Lord s work seemed still to 
 be promoted and propagated among them. 
 
 " Aug. 15. Preached from Luke 5v. 16-21. And he came to 
 Nazareth, etc. The word was attended with power upon the hearts of the 
 hearers. There was much concern, many tears, and effecting cries among 
 them ; and some, in a peculiar manner, were deeply wounded and dis 
 tressed for their souls. There were some newly awakened who came but 
 . this week, and convictions seemed to be promoted in others. Those who 
 had received comfort, were likewise refreshed and strengthened ; and the 
 work of grace appeared to advance in all respects. The passions of the 
 ronprejration in general were not so much moved, as in some days past ; 
 but their hearts seemed as solemnly and deeply affected with d .vine 
 truths as ever, at least in manv instances, although the concern did not 
 seem so universal, and to reach every individual in such a manner as it 
 appeared to do some days before. 
 
 "Aug. 16. Spent a considerable time in conversing with sundry cf 
 the Indians. Found one who had got relief and comfort after pressing 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 1 73 
 
 concern ; and could not but hope, when I came to discourse particularly 
 with her, that her comfort was of the right kind. In the afternoon, I 
 preached to them from John vi. 26-34. Toward the close of my dis 
 course, divine truths were attended with considerable power upon the 
 audience ; and more especially after public service was over, when I 
 particularly addressed sundry distressed persons. 
 
 " There was a great concern for their souls spread pretty generally 
 among them ; but especially there were two persons newly awakened to 
 a sense of their sin and misery ; one of whom was lately come, and the 
 other had all along been very attentive and desirous of being awakened, 
 but could never before have any lively view of her perishing state. Now 
 her concern and spiritual distress was such, that I thought I had never 
 seen any more pressing. Sundry old men were also in distress for their 
 souls ; so that they could not refrain from weeping and crying aloud ; 
 and their bitter groans were the most convincing as well as affecting 
 evidence of the reality and depth of their inward anguish. God is 
 powerfully at work among them. True and genuine convictions of sin are 
 daily promoted in many instances ; and some are newly awakened from 
 time to time ; although some few, who felt a commotion in their passions 
 in days past, seem now to discover, that their hearts were never duly 
 affected. I never saw the work of God appear so independent of means, 
 as at this time. I discoursed to the people, and spake what I suppose 
 had a proper tendency to promote convictions ; but God s manner of 
 working upon them, seemed so entirely supernatural, and above means, 
 that I could scarcely believe he used me as an instrument, or what I 
 spake as means of carrying on his work. For it appeared, as I thought, 
 to have no connexion with, or dependence on means, in any respect. 
 Though I could not but continue to use the means, which I thought 
 proper for the promotion of the work, yet God seemed, as I apprehended, 
 to work entirely without them. I seemed to do nothing, and, indeed, to 
 have nothing to do, but to stand still, and see the salvation of God; 
 and found myself obliged and delighted to say, Not unto us, not unto 
 instruments and means, but to thy name be glory. God appeared to 
 work entirely alone, and I saw no room to attribute any part of this work 
 to any created arm. 
 
 " Aug. 17. Spent much time in private conferences with the Indians. 
 Found one who had newly obtained relief and comfort, after a long sea 
 son of spiritual trouble and distress ; he having been one of my hearers 
 at the Forks of Delaware for more than a year, and now having followed 
 me here under deep concern for his soul ; and had abundant reason to 
 hope that his comfort was well grounded, and truly divine. Afterwards 
 discoursed publicly from Acts viii. 29-39 ; and took occasion to treat 
 concerning baptism, in order to their being instructed and prepared to 
 
I7 4 MEMOIRS OF BRAfXERD. 
 
 partake of that ordinance. They were yet hungry and thirsty for the 
 word of God, and appeared unwearied in their attendance upon it. 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 18. Preached in the forenoon to an assembly of 
 white people, made up of Presbyterians, Baptists, Quakers, etc. After 
 wards preached to the Indians, from John vi. 35-40, He that eateth 
 my flesh, etc. There was considerable concern visible among them, 
 though not equal to what has frequently appeared of late. 
 
 "Aug. 19. Preachedfromlsa.lv. I. Ho, every one that thirsteth. 
 Divine truths were attended with power upon those who had received 
 comfort, and others also. The former sweetly melted and refreshed with 
 divine invitations ; the latter much concerned for their souls, that they 
 might obtain an interest in these glorious gospel provisions which were 
 set before them. There were numbers of poor impotent souls that waited 
 at the pool for healing ; and the angel seemed, as at other times of late, 
 to trouble the waters, so that there was yet a most desirable and com 
 fortable prospect of the spiritual recovery of diseased perishing sinners. 
 Near noon, I rode to Freehold, and preached to a considerable assembly, 
 from Matt. v. 3. Blessed are the poor in spirit, etc. It pleased God to 
 leave me to be very dry and barren ; so that I do not remember to have 
 been so straightened for a whole twelvemonth past. God is just ; and 
 he has made me to acquiesce in his will in this respect. It is contrary to 
 flesh and blood to be cut off from all freedom in a large auditory, where 
 their expectations are much raised ; but so it was with me ; and God 
 helped me to say amen to it. Good is the will of the Lord. In the even 
 ing I felt quiet and composed, and had freedom and comfort in secret 
 prayer. 
 
 " A tig. 20. Was composed and comfortable, still in a resigned frame. 
 Travelled from Mr. Tennent s, in Freehold, to Elizabethtown. Was re 
 freshed to see friends and relate to them what God had done and was 
 still doing among my poor people. Aug. 21. Spent the forenoon in 
 conversation with Mr. Dickinson, contriving something for the settle 
 ment of the Indians together in a body, that they might be under better 
 advantages for instruction. In the afternoon spent some time agreeably 
 with other friends ; wrote to my brother at college ; but was grieved that 
 time slid away, while I did so little for God. 
 
 " Aug. 23. In the morning was very weak, but favored with some 
 freedom and sweetness in prayer, was comfortable and composed in mind. 
 Afternoon, rode to Crossweeksung to my poor people. Spent some time 
 with the Indians in private discourse ; and afterwards, preached to them 
 from John vi. 44-50. No man can come to me except, etc. There was, 
 as has been usual, a great attention and some affection among them. 
 Several appeared deeply concerned for their souls, and could not but ex 
 press their inward anguish by tears and cries. But the amazing divine 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. ! 7 5 
 
 influence, which has been so powerfully among them in general, seems at 
 present in some degree abated; at least, in regard to its universality; 
 though many who have obtained no special comfort, still retain deep im 
 pressions of divine things. 
 
 "Aug. 24. Spent the forenoon in discoursing to some of the Indians 
 in order to their receiving the ordinance of baptism. When I had opened 
 the nature of the ordinance, the obligations attending it, the duty of de 
 voting ourselves to God in it, and the privilege of being in covenant with 
 li m ; numbers of them seemed to be rilled with love to God, delighted 
 with the thoughts of giving themselves up to him in that solemn and 
 public manner, and melted and refreshed with the hopes of enjoying the 
 blessed Redeemer. Afterwards, I discoursed publicly from I Thess. iv. 
 13-17. But I would not have you be ignorant, etc. There was a solemn 
 attention, and some visible concern and affection in the time of public 
 service ; which was afterwards increased by some further exhortations 
 given to them to come to Christ, and give up their hearts to him, that 
 they might be fitted to ascend up and meet him in the air, when he 
 shall descend with a shout, and the voice of the archangel. 
 
 " There were several Indians newly come, who thought their state 
 good, and themselves happy, because they had sometimes lived with the 
 white people under gospel light, had learned to read, were civil, etc., 
 although they appeared utter strangers to their hearts and altogether un 
 acquainted with the power of religion, as well as with the doctrines of 
 grace. With these I discoursed particularly after public worship ; and 
 was surprised to see their seif-righteous dispositions, their strong attach 
 ment to the covenant of works for salvation, and the high value they put 
 upon their supposed attainments. Yet after much discourse, one appeared 
 in a measure convinced that by the deeds of the law no flesh living can 
 be justified ; and wept bitterly, inquiring what he must do to be saved. 
 This was very comfortable to others, who had gained some experimental 
 knowledge of their own hearts ; for, before, they were grieved with the 
 conversation and conduct of these new comers, who boasted of their 
 knowledge, and thought well of themselves, but evidently discovered to 
 those who had any experience of divine truths that they knew nothing of 
 their own hearts. 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 25. Preached in the forenoon from Luke xv,. 37. 
 A number of white people being present, I made an address to them at 
 the close of my discourse to the Indians ; but could not so much as 
 keep them orderly ; for scores of them kept walking and gazing about, 
 and behaved more indecently than any Indians I have ever addressed. 
 A view of their abusive conduct so sunk my spirits, that I could scarcely 
 go on with my work. 
 
 "In the afternoon discoursed from Rev. iii. 20 ; at which *5me the 
 
1 7 6 MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 
 
 Indians behaved seriously, though many others were vain. Afterwards 
 baptized twenty-five persons of the Indians ; fifteen adults and ten 
 children. Most of the adults, I have comfortable reason to hope, are re 
 newed persons ; and there was not one of them but what I entertained some 
 hopes of in that respect; though the case of two or three of them appeared 
 more doubtful. After the crowd of spectators was gone, I called the bap 
 tized persons together, and discoursed to them in particular ; at the same 
 time inviting others to attend. I reminded them of the solemn obliga 
 tions they were now under to live to God ; warned them of the evil and 
 dreadful consequences of careless living, especially after their public pro 
 fession of Christianity ; gave them directions for future conduct ; and en 
 couraged them to watchfulness and devotion, by setting before them the 
 comfort and happy conclusion of a religious life. 
 
 "This was a desirable and sweet season indeed ! Their hearts were 
 engaged and cheerful in duty; and they rejoiced that they had, in a 
 public and solemn manner, dedicated themselves to God. Love seemed 
 to reign among them ! They took each other by the hand with tenderness 
 and affection, as if their hearts were knit together, while I was discoursing 
 to them ; and all their deportment towards each other was such, that a 
 serious spectator might justly be excited to cry out with admiration, 
 Behold how they love one another. Numbers of the other Indians, on see 
 ing and hearing these things, were much affected, and wept bitterly, long 
 ing to be partakers of the same joy and comfort, which these discovered by 
 their very countenances as well as conduct. I rode to my lodgings in 
 the evening, blessing the Lord for this gracious visitation of the Indians, 
 and the soul-refreshing things I had seen the day past among them ; and 
 praying that God would still carry on his divine work among them. 
 
 " Aug. 26. Preached to my people from John vi. 51-55. After I 
 had discoursed some time, I addressed them in particular, who enter 
 tained hopes that they were passed from death unto life. Opened to 
 them the persevering nature of those consolations which Christ gives his 
 people, and which I trusted he had bestowed upon some in that assembly 
 showed them that such have already the beginnings of eternal life, and 
 that their heaven shall speedily be completed. 
 
 " I no sooner began to discourse in this strain, than the dear Chris 
 tians in the congregation began to be melted with affection too, and desire 
 of the enjoyment of Christ, and of a state of perfect purity. They wept 
 affectionately, yet joyfully ; and their tears and sobs discovered broken- 
 ness of heart, and yet were attended with real comfort and sweetness. It 
 was a tender, affectionate, humble, and delightful meeting, and appeared 
 to be the genuine effect of a spirit of adoption, and very far from that 
 spirit of bondage under which they not long since labored. The influence 
 seemed to spread from these through the whole assembly ; and there 
 quickly appeared a wonderful concern among them. Many, who had 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRALVERD. 177 
 
 not yet found Christ as an all-sufficient Saviour, were surprisingly engaged 
 in seeking after him. It was indeed a lovely and very interesting assem 
 bly. Their number was now about ninety-five persons, old and young, 
 and almost all affected with joy in Christ Jesus or with the utmost con 
 cern to obtain an interest in him. 
 
 " Being now convinced that it was my duty to take a journey far back 
 to the Indians on the Susquehannah, it being now a proper season of the 
 year to find them generally at home ; after having spent some hours in 
 public and private discourse with my people, I told them that I must now 
 leave them for the present, and go to their brethren far remote, and preach 
 to them : that I wanted the spirit of God should go with me, without 
 whom nothing could be done to any good purpose among the Indians as 
 they themselves had opportunity to see and observe by the barrenness of 
 our meetings at sometimes, when there was much pains taken to affect 
 and awaken sinners, and yet to little or no purpose, and asked them if 
 they could not be willing to spend the remainder of the day in prayer for 
 me, that God would go with me, and succeed my endeavors for the con 
 version of these poor souls. They cheerfully complied with the motion, 
 and soon after I left them, the sun being about an hour and a half high at 
 night, they began and continued praying till break of day, or very near; 
 never mistrusting as they tell me, till they went out and viewed the stars, 
 and saw the morning star a considerable height, that it was later than bed 
 time. Thus eager and unwearied were they in their devotions ! A re 
 markable night it was; attended, as my interpreter tells me, with a 
 powerful influence upon those who were yet under concern, as well as 
 those who had received comfort. These were, I trust, this day, two dis 
 tressed souls brought to the enjoyment of solid comfort in him whom the 
 weary find rest. It was likewise remarkable, that this day an old Indian, 
 who had all his days been an idolater, was brought to give up his rattles, 
 which they use for music in their idolatrous feasts and dances, to the other 
 Indians, who quickly destroyed them. This was done without any attempt 
 of mine in the affair, I having said nothing to him about it, so that it 
 seemed to be nothing but the power of God s word, without any particu 
 lar application to this sin that produced this effect. Thus God has 
 begun ; thus he has hitherto surprisingly carried on a work of grace 
 amongst these Indians. May the glory be ascribed to him who is the sole 
 author of it. I went from the Indians to my lodgings, rejoicing for the 
 goodness of God to my poor people ; and enjoyed freedom of the soul in 
 prayer, and other duties in the evening. Bless the Lord, O my soul ! " 
 
 The next day, he set out on a journey towards the Forks 
 of Delaware, designing to go from thence to Susquehannah, 
 before he returned to Crossweeksung. It was five days from 
 
I7 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 his departure from Crossweeksung before he reached the 
 Forks ; going round by the way of Philadelphia, and waiting 
 on the Governor of Pennsylvania, to get a recommendation 
 from him to the chief of the Indians ; which he obtained. He 
 speaks of much rest, comfort and spiritual refreshment, in this 
 journey, and also, a sense of his exceeding unworthmess, 
 thinking himself the meanest creature that ever lived. 
 
 " Lord s day, Sept. I. [At Forks of Delaware.] Preached to the In 
 dians from Luke xi. 16-23. The word appeared to be attended with some 
 power, and caused some tears in the assembly. Afterwards preached to a 
 number of white people present, and observed many of them in tears; and 
 some who had formerly been careless and unconcerned about religion, per 
 haps as the Indians. Towards night, discoursed to the Indians again, 
 and perceived a greater attention, and more visible concern among them, 
 than has been usual in these parts. God gave me the spirit of prayer, 
 and it was a blessed season in that respect. My soul cried to God for 
 mercy in an affectionate manner. In the evening also, my soul rejoiced 
 in God. 
 
 " Sept. 3. Preached to the Indians from Isaiah lii. 3-6. He is de 
 spised and rejected of men, etc. The Divine presence seemed to be in 
 the midst of the assembly,, and a considerable concern spread among 
 them. Sundry persons seemed to be awakened ; among whom were two 
 stupid creatures, whom I could scarce ever before keep awake while I 
 was discoursing to them. I could not but rejoice at this appearance of 
 things ; although at the same time, I could not but fear, lest the concern 
 which they at present manifested, might prove like a morning cloud, as 
 something of that nature had formerly done in these parts. 
 
 " Sept. 4. Rode 15 miles to an Irish settlement, and preached there 
 from Luke xiv. 22. And yet there is room. God was pleased to 
 afford me some tenderness and enlargement in the first prayer, and much 
 freedom as well as warmth in the sermon. There were many tears in the 
 assembly ; the people of God seemed to melt ; and others seemed to be 
 in some measure awakened. Blessed be the Lord, who lets me see his 
 work going on in one place and another ! 
 
 "Sept. 5. Discoursed to the Indians from the parable of the sower. 
 Afterwards I conversed particularly with sundry persons ; which occa 
 sioned them to weep, and even to cry out in an affecting manner, and 
 seized others with surprise and concern. I doubt not but that a divine 
 power accompanied what was then spoken. Several of these persons 
 had been with me to Crossweeksung; and there had seen, and some of 
 them, I trust, felt, the power of God s word, in an affecting and saving 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAfNERD. 
 
 79 
 
 manner. I asked one of them, who had obtained comfort and given 
 hopeful evidences of being truly religious, Why he now cried ? lie 
 replied, When he thought how Christ was slain like a lamb, and spilt 
 his blood for sinners, he could not help crying, when he was alone ; 
 and thereupon burst into tears, and cried again. I then asked his wife 
 who had likewise been abundantly comforted, why she cried ? She an 
 swered, that she was grieved that the Indians here would not come to 
 Christ, as well as those at Crossweeksung I asked her if she found a 
 heart to pray for them ; and whether Christ had seemed to be near her 
 of late in prayer, as in times past ; which is my usual method of express 
 ing a sense of the divine presence. She replied yes, he had been near 
 to her, and at times when she had been praying alone, her heart loved to 
 pray so, that she could not bear to leave the place, but wanted to stay 
 and pray longer. 
 
 " Sept. 6. Enjoyed some freedom and intenseness of mind, in prayer 
 alone ; and longed to have my soul more warmed with divine and 
 heavenly things. Was somewhat melancholy towards night, and longed 
 to die and quit a scene of sin and darkness, but was a little supported in 
 prayer. Sept. 7. Preached to the Indians from John vi., 35-39. There 
 was not so much the appearance of concern among them as at several 
 other times of late ; yet they appeared serious and attentive. 
 
 " Lord s day, Sept. 8. Discoursed to the Indians in the afternoon 
 from Acts ii. 36-39. The word of God at this time seemed to fall with 
 weight and influence upon them. There were but few present ; but most 
 that were, were in tears; and several cried out in distressing concern for 
 their souls. There was one man considerably awakened, who never be 
 fore discovered any concern for his soul. There appeared a remark 
 able work of the Divine Spirit among them generally, not unlike what 
 has been of late at Crossweeksung. It seemed as if the divine influence 
 had spread thence to this place ; although something of it appeared 
 here before in the awakening of my interpreter, his wife, and some few 
 others. Several of the careless white people now present, were awakened 
 or at least startled, seeing the power of God so prevalent among the 
 Indians. I then made a particular address to them, which seemed to 
 make some impression upon them, and excite some affection in them. 
 
 "There are sundry Indians in these parts, who have always refused 
 to hear me preach, and have been enraged against those who have at 
 tended on my preaching. But of late they are more bitter than ever ; 
 scoffing at Christianity, and sometimes asking my hearers, How often 
 they have cried/ and Whether they have not now cried enough to do 
 their turn, etc. So that they have already trial of cruel workings. 
 
 " In the evening, God was pleased to assist me in prayer, and give 
 me freedom at the throne of grace. I cried to God for the enlargement 
 
! 8 o MEMOIRS OF BRA INEKD. 
 
 of his kingdom in the world, and in particular among my dear people ; 
 was also enabled to pray for many dear ministers of my acquaintance, 
 both in these parts, and in New England, and also for other dear friends 
 in New England. My soul was so engaged and enlarged in the sweet 
 exercise, that I spent an hour in it, and knew not how to leave the mercy 
 seat. O how I delighted to pray and cry to God ! I saw that God was 
 both able and willing to do all that I desired for myself, and his church 
 in general. I was likewise much enlarged, and assisted in family prayer. 
 Afterwards when I was just going to bed, God helped me to renew my peti 
 tion, with ardor and freedom. O it was to me a blessed evening of 
 prayer ! Bless the Lord, O my soul. 
 
 " Sept. 9. Left the Indians at the Forks of Delaware, and set out on 
 a journey towards Susquehannah river ; directing my course towards the 
 Indian town more than a hundred and twenty miles westward from the 
 Forks. Travelled about fifteen miles, and there lodged. 
 
 "Sept. 13. [At Shaumoking.] After having lodged out three nights, 
 arrived at the Indian town I aimed at on the Susquehannah, called Shau 
 moking ; one of the places and the largest of them which I visited in 
 May last. I was kindly received, and entertained by the Indians ; but 
 had little satisfaction by reason of the heathenish dance and revel they 
 then held in the house where I was obliged to lodge ; which I could not 
 suppress, though I often entreated them to desist, for the sake of one of 
 their own friends who was then sick in the house, and whose disorder 
 was much aggravated by the noise. Alas ! how destitute of natural af 
 fection are these poor uncultivated pagans ! although they seem some 
 what kind in their own way. Of a truth the dark corners of the earth 
 are full of the habitations of cruelty. This town, as I observed in 
 my diary of May last, lies partly on the east side of the river, partly on 
 the west, and partly on a large island in it; and contains upwards 
 of fifty houses, and nearly three hundred persons, though I never 
 saw much more than half that number in it. They are of three 
 different tribes of Indians, speaking three languages wholly unin 
 telligible to each other. About one half of its inhabitants are Delawares; 
 the others called Senakas and Tutelas. The Indians of this place, 
 are accounted the most drunken, mischievous, and ruffianlike fellows, of 
 any in these parts ; and Satan seems to have his seat in this town in an 
 eminent manner. 
 
 "Sept. 14. Visited the Delaware king; who was supposed to be at 
 the point of death when I was here in May last, but was now recovered; 
 discoursed with him and others, respecting Christianity; spent the after 
 noon with them and had more encouragement than I expected. The 
 king appeared kindly disposed, and willing to be instructed. This gave 
 me some encouragement that God would open an effectual door for my 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 181 
 
 preaching the gospel here, and set up his kingdom in this place. This 
 was a support and refreshment to me in the wilderness, and rendered my 
 solitary circumstances comfortable and pleasant. In the evening, my soul 
 was enlarged, and sweetly engaged in prayer; especially that God would 
 set up his kingdom in this place, where the devil now reigns in the most 
 eminent manner. I was enabled to ask this for God, for his glory, and 
 because I longed for the enlargement of his kingdom, to the honor of his 
 clear name. I could appeal to God with the greatest freedom, that it was 
 his dear cause, and not my own, which engaged my heart. My soul cried 
 * Lord set up thy kingdom for thine own glory ; glorify thyself, and I 
 shall rejoice. Get honor to thy blessed name, and this is all I desire. 
 Do with me just what thou wilt ; blessed be thy name forever that thou 
 art God, and that thou wilt glorify thyself. O that the whole world would 
 glorify thee ! O let these poor people be brought to know thee, and love 
 thee, for the glory of thy ever dear blessed name/ I could not but hope, 
 that God would bring in these miserable, wicked Indians ; though there 
 appeared little human probability of it ; for they were then dancing and 
 revelling, as if possessed by the devil. But yet I hoped, though against 
 hope, that God would be glorified, and that his name would be glorified, 
 by these poor Indians. I continued long in prayer and praise to God, 
 and had great freedom, enlargement, and sweetness; remembering dear 
 friends in New England, as well as the people of my charge. Was entirely 
 free from that dejection of spirit, with which I am frequently exercised 
 Blessed be God ! 
 
 " Lord s day, Seft. 15. Visited the chief of the Delawares again ; was 
 kindly received by him, and discoursed to the Indians in the afternoon. 
 Still entertained hopes that God would open their hearts, to receive the 
 gospel; though many of them in the place, were so drunk, from day to 
 day, that I could get no opportunity to speak to them. Towards night, 
 discoursed with one who understood the languages of the Six Nations, as 
 they are usually called ; who discovered an inclination to hearken to 
 Christianity, which gave me some hopes that the gospel might hereafter 
 be sent to those nations far remote. 
 
 " Sept. 16. Spent the forenoon with the Indians, endeavoring to in 
 struct them from house to house, and to engage them, as far as I could, 
 to be friendly to Christianity. Towards night went to one part of the 
 town, where they were sober, got together near fifty of them, and dis 
 coursed to them ; having first obtained the king s cheerful consent. 
 There was a surprising attention among them, and they manifested a con 
 siderable desire of being further instructed. There were, also, one or 
 two who seemed to be touched with some concern for their souls, who 
 appeared well pleased with some conversation in private, after I had 
 concluded my public discourse to them. My spirits were much refreshed 
 
1 82 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 with this appearance of things, and I could not but return with my In 
 terpreter, having no other companion in this journey, to my poor hard 
 lodgings, rejoicing in hopes that God designed to set up his kingdom 
 here, where Satan now reigns in the most eminent manner ; and found 
 uncommon freedom in addressing the throne of grace for the accomplish 
 ment of so great and glorious a work. 
 
 " Sept. 17. Spent the forenoon in visiting and discoursing to the 
 Indians. About noon, left Shaumoking (most of the Indians going out 
 this day on their hunting design) and traveled down the river southwest- 
 ward. Sept. 19. Visited an Indian town, called Juncauta, situate on 
 an island in the Susquehannah. Was much discouraged with the temper 
 and behavior of the Indians here; although they appeared friendly when 
 I was with them the last spring, and then gave me encouragement to 
 come and see them again. But they now seemed resolved to retain their 
 pagan notions, and persist in their idolatrous practices. 
 
 " Sept. 20. Visited the Indians again at Juncauta island, and found 
 them very busy in making preparations for a great sacrifice and dance. 
 Had no opportunity to get them together, in order to discourse with them 
 about Christianity, by reason of their being so much engaged about their 
 sacrifice. My spirits were much sunk with a prospect so very discourag 
 ing ; and especially seeing I had now no interpreter but a pagan, who was as 
 much attached to idolatry as any of them ; my own interpreter having left 
 me the day before, being obliged to attend upon some important business 
 elsewhere, and knowing that he could neither speak nor understand the 
 language of these Indians; so that I was under the greatest disadvantages 
 imaginable. However, I attempted to discourse privately with some of 
 them, but without any appearance of success ; notwithstanding I still tar 
 ried with them. 
 
 "In the evening they met together, nearly a hundred of them, and 
 danced around a large fire, having prepared ten fat deer for the sacrifice. 
 The fat of the inwards they burnt in the fire while they were dancing, and 
 sometimes raised the flame to a prodigious height ; at the same time yell 
 ing and shouting in such a mauner, that they might easily have been 
 heard two miles or more. They continued their sacred dance nearly all 
 night, after which they ate the flesh of the sacrifice, and so retired each 
 one to his own lodging. I enjoyed little satisfaction ; being entirely alone 
 on the island as to any Christian company, and in the midst of this idola 
 trous revel ; and having walked to and fro till body and mind were pained 
 and much oppressed, I at length crept into a little crib made for corn, and 
 there slept on the poles. 
 
 "Lord s day, Sept. 2i. Spent the clay with the Indians on the island. 
 As soon as they were well up in the morning, I attempted to instruct them, 
 and labored for that purpose to get them together ; but soon found they 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRA A\ ~E RD. j 83 
 
 had something else to do, for near noon they gathered together all their 
 powows, or conjurers, and set about half a dozen of them playing their 
 juggling tricks, and acting their frantic distracted postures, in order to 
 find out why they were then so sickly upon the island, numbers of them 
 being at that time disordered with a fever and bloody flux. In this exer 
 cise they were engaged for several hours, making all the wild, ridiculous 
 and distracted motions imaginable ; sometimes singing, sometimes howl 
 ing, sometimes extending their hands to the utmost stretch, and spreading 
 all their fingers, they seemed to push with them as if they designed to 
 push something away, or at least keep it off at arm Vend; sometimes 
 stroking their faces with their hands, then spirting water as fine as mist ; 
 sometimes sitting flat on the earth, then bowing down their faces to the 
 ground; then wringing their sides as if in pain and anguish, twisting their 
 faces, turning up their eyes, grunting, purring, etc. 
 
 t; Their monstrous actions tended to excite ideas of horror, and 
 seemed to have something in them, as I thought, peculiarly suited to 
 raise the devil, if he could be raised by anything odd, ridiculous, and 
 frightful. Some of them, I could observe, were much more fervent and 
 devout in the business than others, and seemed to chant, peep, and mut 
 ter with a great degree of warmth and vigor, as if determined to awaken 
 and engage the powers below. I sat at a small distance, not more than 
 thirty feet from them, though undiscovered, with my bible in my hand, 
 resolving, if possible, to spoil their sport, and prevent their receiving any 
 answers from the infernal world, and there viewed the whole scene. They 
 continued their hideous charms and incantations for more than three 
 hours, until they had all wearied themselves out ; although they had in 
 that space of time taken several intervals of rest, and at length broke up 
 I apprehended, without receiving any answer at all. 
 
 "After they had done powwawing, I attempted to discourse with them 
 about Christianity; but they soon scattered, and gave me no opportunity 
 for anything of that nature. A view of these things, while I was entirely 
 alone in the wilderness, destitute of the society of any one who so much 
 as named the name of Christ, greatly sunk my spirits, and gave me the 
 most gloomy turn of mind imaginable, almost stripped me of all resolu 
 tion and hope respecting further attempts for propagating the gospel, and 
 converting the pagans, and rendered this the most burdensome and disa 
 greeable Sabbath which I ever saw. But nothing, I can truly say, sunk 
 and distressed me like the loss of my hope respecting their conversion. 
 This concern appeared so great, and seemed to be so much my own, that 
 I seemed to have nothing to do on earth, if this failed. A prospect of 
 the greatest concern in the saving conversion of souls under gospel-light, 
 would have done little or nothing towards compensating for the loss of my 
 hope in this respect ; and my spirits now were so damped and depressed 
 that I had no heart nor power to make any further attempts among them 
 
!84 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN1LRD. 
 
 for that purpose, and could not possibly recover my hope, resolution, and 
 courage, by the utmost of my endeavors. 
 
 " Many of the Indians of this island understand the English language 
 considerably well ; having formerly lived in some part of Maryland, 
 among or near the white people ; but are very drunken, vicious, and pro 
 fane, although not so savage as those who have less acquaintance with 
 the English. Their customs, in various respects, differ from those of the 
 other Indians upon the river. They do not bury their dead in a common 
 form, but let their flesh consume above ground, in close cribs made for 
 that purpose. At the end of a year, or sometimes a longer space of time 
 they take the bones when the flesh is all consumed, and wash and scrape 
 them, and afterwards bury them with some ceremony. Their method of 
 charming or conjuring over the sick, seems somewhat different from that 
 of other Indians, though in substance the same. The whole of it among 
 these and others, perhaps, is an intimation of what seems, by Naaman s 
 expression, 2 Kings, v. n. to have been the custom of the ancient heathen. 
 It seems chiefly to consist in their striking their hands over the dis 
 eased, repeatedly stroking them, and calling upon their gods; except the 
 spirting of water like a mist, and some other frantic ceremonies common 
 to the other conjurations which I have already mentioned. 
 
 " When I was in this region in May last, I had an opportunity of 
 learning many of the notions and customs of the Indians, as well as ob 
 serving many of their practices. I then traveled more than a hundred 
 and thirty miles upon the river, above the English settlements: and, in 
 that journey, met with individuals of seven or eight distinct tribes, speak 
 ing as many different languages. But of all the sights I ever saw among 
 them, or indeed anywhere else, none appeared so frightful, or so near 
 akin to what is usually imagined of infernal powers, none ever excited 
 such images of terror in my mind, as the appearance of one who was a 
 devout and zealous reformer, or rather, restorer of what he supposed was 
 the ancient religion of the Indians. 
 
 "He made his appearance in his pontifical garb, which was a coat of boar 
 skins, dressed with the hair on, and hanging down to his toes ; a pair of bear 
 skin stockings; and a great wooden face painted, the one half black, the 
 other half tawny, about the color of an Indian s skin, with an extravagant 
 mouth, cut very much awry ; the face fastened to a bearskin cap, which was 
 drawn over his head. He advanced towards me with the instrument in his 
 hand, which he used for music in his idolatrous worship; which was a dry 
 tortoise-shell with some corn in it, and the neck of it drawn on to a piece of 
 wood, which made a very convenient handle. As he came forward, he beat 
 his tune with the rattle, and danced with all his might, but did not suffer any 
 part of his body, not so much as his fingers to be seen. No one would 
 have imagined from his oppearance or actions, that he could have 
 been a human creature, if they had nqt had some intimation of it 
 
M MOM S OF BKAINEKD. 185 
 
 otherwise. When he came near me, I could not but shn nk away from 
 him although it was then noonday, and I knew who it was ; his appear 
 ance and gestures were so prodigiously frightful, lie had a house con 
 secrated to religious uses, with divers images cut upon the several parts 
 of it. I went in, and found the ground beat almost as hard as a rock, 
 with their frequent dancing upon it. 
 
 " I discoursed with him about Christianity. Some of my discourse he 
 seemed to like, but some of it he disliked extremely. He told me that 
 God had taught him his religion, and that he never would turn from it ; 
 but wanted to find some who would join heartily with him in it ; for the 
 Indians, he said, were grown very degenerate and corrupt. He had 
 thoughts, he said, of leaving all his friends, and traveling abroad, in 
 order to find some who would join with him ; for he believed that God 
 had some good people somewhere, who felt as he did. He had not al 
 ways, he said, felt as he now did ; but had formerly been like the rest of 
 the Indians, until about four or five years before that time. Then, he 
 said, his heart was very much distressed, so that he could not live among 
 the Indians, but got away into the woods, and lived alone for some months. 
 At length, he says, God comforted his heart, and showed him what he 
 should do ; and since that time he had known God, and tried to serve 
 him ; and loved all men, be they who they would, so as he never did 
 before. 
 
 " He treated me with uncommon courtesy, and seemed to be hearty 
 in it. I was told by the Indians, that he opposed their drinking strong 
 liquor with all his power ; and that, if at any time he could not dis 
 suade them from it by all he could say, he would leave them, and go 
 crying into the woods. It was manifest that he had a set of religious 
 notions which he had examined for himself, and not taken for granted, 
 upon bare tradition ; and he relished or disrelished what ever was 
 spoken of a religious nature, as it either agreed or disagreed with 
 his standard. While I was discoursing, he would sometimes say 
 Now that I like ; so God has taught me ; etc., and some of his senti 
 ments seemed very just. Yet he utterly denied the existence of a devil, 
 and declared there was no such creature known among the Indians of 
 old times, whose religion he supposed he was attempting to revive. He 
 likewise told me, that departed souls all went southward; and that the 
 difference between the good and the bad, was this ; that the former were 
 admitted into a beautiful town with spiritual walls ; and that the latter 
 would for ever hover around these walls, in vain attempts to get in. He 
 seemed to be sincere, honest, and conscientious in his own way, and ac 
 cording to his own religious notions; which was more than I ever saw in any 
 other pagan. I perceived that he was looked upon and derided among 
 most of the Indians, as a precise zealot, who made a needless noise about 
 religious matters ; but I must say that there was something in his temper 
 and disposition, which looked more like true religion, than anything I 
 ever observed amongst other heathens. 
 
1 8 6 MEMOIRS OF BRA /A EKD. 
 
 " But alas ! how deplorable is the state of the Indians upon this river ! 
 The brief representation which I have here given of their notions and 
 manners, is sufficient to show that they are led captive by Satan at his 
 will, in the most eminent manner ; and mcthinks might likewise be suffi 
 cient to excite the compassion, and engage the prayers, of pious souls for 
 these their fellow men, who sit in the region of the shadow of death. 
 
 " Sept. 22. Made some further attempts to instruct and Christianize 
 the Indians on this Island, but all to no purpose. They live so near the 
 white people that they are always in the way of strong liquor, as well as 
 of the ill examples of nominal Christians; which renders it so unspeakably 
 difficult to treat with them about Christianity." 
 
 Brainerd left these Indians on the 23d of September, to 
 return to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak state of body 
 and under great dejection of mind, which continued the first 
 two days of his journey. 
 
 " Sept. 25. Rode still homeward. In the forenoon, enjoyed freedom 
 and intenseness of mind in meditation on Job xlii, 5, 6. I have heard of 
 thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth thee; wherefore 1 
 abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes. The Lord gave me clearness 
 to penetrate into the sweet truths contained in that text. It was a com 
 fortable and sweet season tome." 
 
 "Sept. 26. Was still much disordered in body, and able to ride but 
 slowly. Continued my journey, however. Near night, arrived at the 
 Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from my own house. This day, 
 while riding, I was much exercised with a sense of my barrenness ; and 
 verily thought there was no creature who had any true grace, but what was 
 more spiritual and faithful. I could not think that any of God s children 
 made so poor a hand of living to God. 
 
 "Sept. 27. Spent a considerable time in the morning in prayer and 
 praise to God. My mind was somewhat intense in the duty ; and my 
 heart, in some degree, warmed with a sense of divine things. My soul 
 was melted to think that God had accounted me faithful, putting me 
 into the ministry. My soul was also, in some measure, enlarged in 
 prayer for the dear people of my charge, as well as for other dear friends. 
 Afternoon, visited some Christian friends, and spent the time I think profi 
 tably ; my heart was warmed and more engaged in the things of God. 
 In the evening I enjoyed enlargement, warmth and comfort in prayer; my 
 soul relied on God for assistance and grace to enable me to do something 
 in his cause ; my heart was drawn out in thankfulness to God for what he 
 had done for his own glory among my poor people of late. I felt en 
 couraged to proceed in his work ; being persuaded of his power, and 
 hoping that his arm might be further revealed for the enlargement of his 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINLRD. 187 
 
 dear kingdom. My soul rejoiced in hope of the glory of God, in hope 
 of the advancement of his declarative glory in the world, as well as of en 
 joying him in a world of glory. O, blessed be God, the living God, for ever." 
 
 He continued in this comfortable sweet frame of mind the 
 next two days ; on the following he went to his own 
 house in the Forks of Delaware, and continued still in the 
 same frame. The next day, he visited the Indians. 
 
 "Oct. i. [At Forks of Delaware,] Discoursed to the Indians here, 
 and spent some time in private conference with them about their souls 
 concerns, and afterwards invited them to accompany, or if not, to follow 
 me to Cross weeksung as soon as they could conveniently ; which in 
 vitation numbers of them cheerfully accepted." 
 
 Wednesday he spent principally in writing the meditation 
 he had in his late journey to the Susquehannah. On Thurs 
 day he left the Forks of Delaware, reached Crossweeksung 
 Oct. 5 ; and continued from day to day in a comfort 
 able state of mind. 
 
 " Oct. 5. [ At Crossweeksung,] Preached to my people from John 
 xiv. 1-6. The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly. Numbers 
 were affected with divine truths, and it was a comfort to some in par 
 ticular. O what a difference is there between these, and the Indians with 
 whom I have lately treated upon the Susquehannah ! To be with those 
 seemed to be like being banished from God and all his people; to be with 
 these, like being admitted into his family, and to the enjoyment of his 
 divine presence ! How great is the change lately made upon numbers 
 of those Indians, who, not many months ago, were as thoughtless and 
 averse to Christianity as those upon the Susquehannah; and how astonish 
 ing is that grace, which has made this change ! 
 
 Lord s day, Ocf.6. Preached in the forenoon from John x. 7-11. 
 There was a considerable melting among my people ; the dear young 
 Christians were refreshed, comforted and strengthened; and one or two 
 persons newly awakened In the afternoon, I discoursed on the story 
 of the jailer, Acts xvi, and in the evening, expounded Acts xx, 1-12. 
 There was at this time a very agreeable melting spread throughout the 
 whole assembly. I think I scarce ever saw a more desirable affection in 
 any number of people in my life. There was scarcely a dry eye to be seen 
 among them ; and yet nothing boisterous or unseemly, nothing that tended 
 to disturb the public worship ; but rather to encourage and excite a 
 Christian ardor and spirit of devotion. Those, who I have reason to hope 
 were seriously renewed, were first affected, and seemed to rejoice much, 
 but wilh brokenness of spirit and godly fear. Their exercises were much 
 
1 88 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 the same with those mentioned in my journal of Aug. 26, evidently ap 
 pearing to be the genuine effects of a spirit of adoption. 
 
 " After public service was over, I withdrew, being much tired with 
 the labors of the day ; and the Indians continued praying among them 
 selves for nearly two hours together; which continued exercises appeared 
 to be attended with a blessed quickening influence from on high. I could 
 not but earnestly wish that numbers of God s people had been present at 
 this season to see and hear these things which I am sure must refresh 
 the heart of every true lover of Zion s interest. To see those, who were very 
 lately savage Pagans and idolaters, having no hope, and without God in 
 the world, now filled with a sense of divine love and grace, and worship 
 ping the Father in spirit and in truth, as numbers have appeared to do, 
 was not a little affecting; and especially to see them appear so tender and 
 humble, as well as lively, fervent, and devout in the divine service. 
 
 " Oct. 7. Being called by the church and people of East-Hampton, 
 on Long Island, as a member of a council to assist and advise in affairs 
 of difficulty in that church, I set out on my journey this morning before 
 it was well light, and traveled to Elizabethtown, and there lodged. 
 Enjoyed some comfort on the road in conversation with Mr. William 
 Tennent, who was sent for on the same business." 
 
 BRAINERD prosecuted his journey with the other minis 
 ters who were sent for, and did not return till Oct. 24. While 
 he was at East-Hampton, the importance of the business, on 
 which the council were convened, lay with such weight on 
 his mind, and he was so concerned for the interests of reli 
 gion in that place, that he slept but little for several nights 
 successively. In his way to and from East-Hampton, he 
 had several seasons of sweet refreshment ; wherein his soul 
 was enlarged and comforted with divine consolations in se 
 cret retirement; and he had special assistance in public 
 ministerial performances in the house of God ; and yet at the 
 same time a sense of extreme vileness and unprofitableness. 
 From time to time he speaks of soul refreshments and com 
 fort in conversation with the ministers who traveled with 
 him, and seems to have little or nothing of melancholy until 
 he came to the west end of Long-Island in his return. Af 
 ter that he was oppressed with dejection and gloominess of 
 mind for several days together. 
 
 " &/. 24. [At Crossweeksung,] Discoursed from John iv. 13, 14 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 189 
 
 There was a great attention, a desirable affection, and an unaffected 
 melting in the assembly. It is surprising to see how eager they are to 
 hear the word of God. I have oftentimes thought that they would cheer 
 fully and diligently attend divine worship twenty-four hours together, if 
 they had an opportunity so to do. 
 
 " Oct. 25. Discoursed to my people respecting the Resurrection, from 
 Luke xx. 27-36. When I came to mention the blessedness which the 
 godly shall enjoy at that season ; their final freedom from death, sin and 
 sorrow ; their equality to the angels in their nearness to an enjoyment 
 of Christ, some imperfect degree of which they are favored with in the 
 present life, from whence springs their sweetest comfort ; and their being 
 the children of God, openly acknowledged by him as such ; I say, when 
 I mentioned these things, numbers of them were much affected and 
 melted with a view of this blessed state. 
 
 " Oct. 26. Being called to assist in the administration of the Lord s 
 supper in a neighboring congregation, I invited my people to go with me. 
 They in general embraced the opportunity cheerfully ; and attended the 
 several discourses of this solemnity with diligence and affection, most of 
 them now understanding something of the English language. 
 
 " Lord s Day, Oct. 27. While I was preaching to a vast assembly of 
 people abroad, who appeared generally easy and secure enough, there 
 was one Indian woman, a stranger, who never heard me preach before, 
 nor ever regarded anything about religion, being now persuaded by some 
 of her friends to come to meeting, though much against her will, was 
 seized with distressing concern for her soul and soon after expressed a 
 great desire of going home, more than forty miles distant, to call her 
 husband, that he also might be awakened to a concern for his soul. Some 
 others of the Indians appeared to be affected with divine truths this day. 
 The pious people of the English, numbers of whom I had opportunity to 
 converse with, seemed refreshed with seeing the Indians worship God in 
 that devout and solemn manner with the assembly of his people ; and 
 with those mentioned in Acts xi. 18, they could not but glorify God, say 
 ing, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life. 
 
 " Preached again in the afternoon, to a great assembly ; at which time 
 some of my people appeared affected ; and, when public worship was 
 over, were inquisitive whether there would not be another sermon in the 
 evening, or before the sacramental solemnity was concluded ; being still 
 desirous to hear God s word. 
 
 " Oct. 28. Discoursed from Matt. xxii. 1-13. I was enabled to open 
 the scriptures, and adapt my discourse and expression to the capacities 
 of my people, I know not how, in a plain, easy, and familiar manner, be 
 yond all that I could have done by the utmost study : and this without 
 any special difficulty ; yea with as much freedom as if I had been address- 
 
I9 o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 ing a common audience, who had been instructed in the doctrines of 
 Christianity all their days. The word of God, at this time, seemed to fall 
 upon the assembly with a divine power and influence, especially towards 
 the close of my discourse r there was both a sweet melting and bitter 
 mourning in the audience. The dear Christians were refreshed and com 
 forted, convictions revived in others, and several persons newly awak 
 ened, who had never been with us before. So much of the divine 
 presence appeared in the assembly, that it seemed this was no other 
 than the house of God and the gate of heaven. All, who had any savor 
 and relish of divine things, were even constrained by the sweetness of 
 that season to say, Lord, it is good for us to be here ; If ever there 
 was among my people an appearance of the New Jerusalem, as a bride 
 adorned for her husband, there was much of it at this time ; and so 
 agreeable was the entertainment, where such tokens of the divine presence 
 were, that I could scarcely be willing in the evening to leave the place 
 and repair to my lodgings. I was refreshed with a view of the continu 
 ance of this blessed work of grace among them, and with its influence 
 upon strangers among the Indians, who had of late, from time to time, 
 providentially come into this part of the country. Had an evening of 
 sweet refreshing ; my thoughts were raised to a blessed eternity; my 
 soul was melted with desires of perfect holiness, and of perfectly glorify 
 ing God. 
 
 " Oct. 29. About noon, rode and viewed the Indian lands at Cran 
 berry ; was much dejected, and greatly perplexed in mind ; knew not 
 how to see anybody again ; my soul was sunk within me. Oh that these 
 trials might make me more humble and holy. Oh that God would keep 
 me from giving way to sinful dejection, which may hinder my usefulness. 
 Oct. 30. My soul was refreshed with a view of the continuance of God s 
 blessed work among the Indians. Oct. 31. Spent most of the day in writ 
 ing; enjoyed not much spiritual comfort ; but was not so much sunk with 
 melancholy as at other times. 
 
 "Nov. i. Discoursed from Luke xxiv. briefly explaining the whole 
 chapter, and insisting especially upon some particular passages. The dis 
 course was attended with some affectionate concern upon some of the 
 hearers, though not equal to what has often appeared among them. Nov. 
 2. Spent the day with the Indians ; wrote some things of importance; and 
 longed to do more for God than I did, or could do, in this present feeble 
 and iinperfect state. 
 
 " Lord s Day, N(n>. 3. Preached to my people from Luke xvi. 17. 
 4 And it is easier for heaven and earth, etc., more especially for the sake 
 of several lately brought under deep concern for their souls. There was 
 some apparent concern and affection in the assembly ; though far less 
 than has been usual of late. Afterwards I baptized fourteen persons ; 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 191 
 
 six adults, and eight children. One of these was nearly fourscore years 
 of age ; and, I have reason to hope that God has brought her savingly 
 home to himself. Two of the others were men of fifty years old, who 
 had been singular and remarkable among the Indians for their wicked 
 ness ; one of them had been a murderer, and both notorious drunkards, 
 as well as excessively quarrelsome ; but now I cannot but hope, that 
 both of them have become subjects of God s special grace, especially the 
 worst of them.* I deferred their baptism for many weeks after they 
 had given evidence of having passed a great change, that I might 
 have more opportunities to observe the fruits of the impressions 
 which they had been under, and apprehended the way was now clear. 
 There was not one of the adults whom I baptized, who had not given me 
 comfortable grounds to hope that God had wrought a work of special 
 grace in their hearts. 
 
 "Nov. 4. Discoursed from John xi, briefly explaining most of the 
 chapter. Divine truths made deep impressions upon many in the as 
 sembly. Numbers were affected with a view of the power of Christ 
 manifested in his raising the dead ; and especially when this instance of 
 his power was improved to show his ability to raise dead souls, such as 
 many of them then felt themselves to be, to a spiritual life ; as, also, to 
 raise the dead at the last day, and dispense to them true rewards and 
 punishments. 
 
 " There were numbers of those who had come here lately from remote 
 places, who were now brought under deep and pressing concern for their 
 souls. One in particular, who, not long since, came half drunk, and railed 
 on us, and attempted to disturb us while engaged in divine worship, was 
 now so concerned and distressed for her soul, that she seemed unable to 
 get any ease without an interest in Christ. There were many tears and 
 sobs and groans in the assembly in general; some weeping for themselves, 
 others for their friends. Although persons are, doubtless, much more 
 easily affected now than they were in the beginning of this religious con 
 cern, when tears and cries for their souls were things unheard of among 
 them, yet I must say, that their affection in general appeared genuine 
 and unfeigned ; and, especially, this appeared very conspicuous in those 
 newly awakened. So that trne and genuine convictions of sin seem still 
 to be begun and promoted in many instances. Baptized a child this day, 
 and perceived numbers of the baptized persons affected with the adminis 
 tration of this ordinance, as being thereby reminded of their own solemn 
 engagements. I have now baptized in all 47 Indians ; 23 adults, and 24 
 children ; 35 of them belonged to this region, and the rest to the Forks 
 of Delaware. Through rich grace, none of them, as yet, have been left to 
 disgrace their profession of Christianity by any scandalous or unbecom 
 ing behavior." 
 
 * The man mentioned in my journal of August 10, as being then awakened. 
 
I 9 2 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Brainerd s Remarks on the Extraordinary Work of God s Grace among these Indians. 
 
 u I might now properly make many remarks on a work of grace, so 
 very remarkable as this has been in various respects ; but shall confine 
 myself to a few general hints only. 
 
 " i. It is remarkable, that God began this work among the Indians at 
 a time when I had the least hope, and, to my apprehension, the least ra 
 tional prospect of seeing a work of grace propagated among them ; my 
 bodily strength being then much wasted by a late tedious journey to the 
 Susquehannah, where I was necessarily exposed to hardships and fatigues 
 among the Indians ; my mind being, also, exceedingly depressed with a 
 view of the unsuccessfulness of my labors. I had little reason so much as 
 to hope, that God had made me instrumental in the saving conversion of 
 any of the Indians, except my interpreter and his wife. Hence I was 
 ready to look upon myself as a burden to the honorable society which 
 employed and supported me in this business, and began to entertain serious 
 thoughts of giving up my mission ; and almost resolved, I would do so at 
 the conclusion of the present year, if I had then no better prospect of 
 special success in my work than I had hitherto had. I cannot say that I 
 entertained these thoughts because I was weary of the labors and fatigues 
 which necessarily attended my present business, or because I had light 
 and freedom in my own mind to turn any other way ; but purely through 
 dejection of spirit, pressing discouragement, and an apprehension of its 
 being unjust to spend money consecrated to religious uses, only to civilize 
 the Indians, and bring them to an external profession of Christianity. This 
 was all which I could then see any prospect of effecting, while God 
 seemed, as I thought, evidently to frown upon the design of their saving 
 conversion, by withholding the convincing and renewing influences of his 
 blessed Spirit from attending the means which I had hitherto used with 
 them for that end. 
 
 " In this frame of mind, I first visited these Indians at Crossweeksung; 
 apprehending that it was my indispensable duty, seeing I had heard there 
 was a number in these parts, to make some attempts for their conversion 
 to God, though I cannot say I had any hope of success, my spirits being 
 now so extremely sunk. I do not know that my hopes, respecting the 
 conversion of the Indians, were ever reduced to so low an ebb, since I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 193 
 
 had any special concern for them, as at this time. Yet this was the very 
 season in which God saw fit to begin this glorious work ! Thus he or 
 dained strength out of weakness, by making bare his almighty arm, at a 
 time when all hopes and human probabilities most evidently appeared to 
 fail. Whence I learn, that it is good to follow the path of duty, though in 
 the midst of darkness and discouragement. 
 
 " 2. It is remarkable how God providentially, and in a manner almost 
 unaccountable, called these Indians together, to be instructed in the great 
 things that concerned their souls ; and how he seized their minds with the 
 most solemn and weighty concern for their eternal salvation, as fast as 
 they came to the place where his word was preached. When I first came 
 into these parts in June, I found not one man at the place I visited, but 
 only four women and a few children ; but before I had been here many 
 days they gathered from all quarters, some from more than twenty miles 
 distant ; and when I made them a second visit in the beginning of August, 
 some came more than forty miles to hear me. Many came without any 
 intelligence of what was going on here, and consequently without any de 
 sign of theirs, so much as to gratify their curiosity. Thus it seemed as if 
 God had summoned them together from all quarters for nothing else but 
 to deliver his message to them ; and that he did this, with regard to some 
 of them, without making use of any human means; although there was 
 pains taken by some of them to give notice to others at remote places. 
 
 " Nor is it less surprising that they were one after another affected 
 with a solemn concern for their souls, almost as soon as they came upon 
 the spot where divine truths were taught them. I could not but think 
 often, that their coming to the place of our public worship, was like 
 Saul and his messengers coming among the prophets ; they no sooner 
 came but they prophesied ; and these were almost as soon affected with 
 a sense of their sin and misery, and with an earnest concern for deliverance, 
 as they made their appearance in our assembly. After this work of grace 
 began with power among them, it was common for strangers of the Indians, 
 before they had been with us one day, to be much awakened, deeply con 
 vinced of their sin and misery, and to inquire with great solicitude, W T hat 
 they should do to be saved? 
 
 "3. It is likewise remarkable how God preserved these poor ignor 
 ant Indians from being prejudiced against me, and the truths I taught 
 them, by those means that were used with them for that purpose by un 
 godly people. There were many attempts made by some ill-minded per 
 sons of the white people to prejudice them against, or fright them from, 
 Christianity. They sometimes told them, that the Indians were well 
 enough already; that there was no need of all this noise about Chris 
 tianity; that if they were Christians, they would be in no better, no 
 safer, or happier state, than they were already in. Sometimes they told 
 them, that I was a knave, a deceiver, and the like ; that I daily taught 
 
194 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 them lies, and had no other design but to impose upon them, etc. When 
 none of these, and such like suggestions, would avail to their purpose, 
 they then tried another expedient, and told the Indians, My design was 
 to gather together as large a body of them as I possibly could, and then 
 sell them to England for slaves ; than which nothing could be more 
 likely to terrify the Indians, they being naturally of a jealous disposition, 
 and the most averse to a state of servitude perhaps of any people living. 
 
 " But all these wicked insinuations, through divine goodness over 
 ruling, constantly turned against the authors of them, and only served to 
 engage the affections of the Indians more firmly to me ; for they, being 
 awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, could not but observe, that 
 the persons who endeavored to embitter their minds against me, were 
 altogether unconcerned about their own souls, and not only so, but 
 vicious and profane ; and thence could not but argue, that if they had no 
 concern for their own, it was not likely they should have for the souls of 
 others. 
 
 " It seems yet the more wonderful that the Indians were preserved 
 from once hearkening to these suggestions, inasmuch as I was an utter 
 stranger among them, and could give them no assurance of my sincere 
 affection to, and concern for them, by anything that was past, while the 
 persons who insinuated these things were their old acquaintance, who had 
 frequent opportunities of gratifying their thirsty appetities with strong 
 drink, and consequently, doubtless, had the greatest interest in their 
 affections. But from this instance of their preservation from fatal preju 
 dices, I have had occasion with admiration to say, If God will work, 
 who can hinder? 
 
 "4. Nor is it less wonderful how God was pleased to provide a 
 remedy for my want of skill and freedom in the Indian language, by re 
 markably fitting my interpreter for, and assisting him in the performance 
 of his work. It might reasonably be supposed I must needs labor under 
 a vast disadvantage in addressing the Indians by an interpreter; and 
 that divine truths would undoubtedly lose much of the energy and pathos 
 with which they might at first be delivered, by reason of their coming to 
 the audience from a second hand. But although this has often, to my 
 sorrow and discouragement, been the case in times past, when my inte- 
 preter had little or no sense of divine things ; yet now it was quite other 
 wise. I cannot think my addresses to the Indians ordinarily, since the 
 beginning of this season of grace, have lost anything of the power or pun 
 gency with which they were made, unless it were sometimes for want of 
 pertinent and pathetic terms and expressions in the Indian language ; 
 which difficulty could not have been much redressed by my personal ac 
 quaintance with their language. My interpreter had before gained some 
 good degree of doctrinal knowledge, whereby he was rendered capable 
 of understanding, and communicating, without mistakes, the intent and 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 *95 
 
 meaning of my discourses, and lliat without being confined strictly and 
 obliged to interpret verbatim. He had likewise, to appearance, an ex 
 perimental acquaintance with divine things; and it pleased God at this 
 season to inspire his mind with longing desires for the conversion of the 
 Indians, and to give him admirable zeal and fervency in addressing them 
 in order thereto. It is remarkable, that, when I was favored with any 
 special assistance in any work, and enabled to speak with more than com 
 mon freedom, fervency, and power, under a lively and affecting sense of 
 divine things, he was usually affected in the same manner almost instantly, 
 and seemed at once quickened and enabled to speak in the same 
 pathetic language, and under the same influence that I did. A sur 
 prising energy often accompanied the word at such seasons ; so that the 
 face of the whole assembly would be apparently changed almost in an in 
 stant, and tears and sobs became common among them. 
 
 * He also appeared to have such a clear doctrinal view of God s 
 usual methods of dealing with souls under a preparatory work of convic 
 tion and humiliation as he never had before ; so that I could, with his 
 help, discourse freely with the distressed persons about their internal 
 exercises, their fears, discouragements, temptations, etc. He likewise 
 took pains day and night to repeat and inculcate upon the minds of the 
 Indians the truths which I taught them daily ; and this he appeared to 
 do, not from spiritual pride, and an affectation of setting himself up as a 
 public teacher, but from a spirit of faithfulness, and an honest concern 
 for their souls. 
 
 " His conversation among the Indians has likewise, so far as I know, 
 been savory, as becomes a Christian, and a person employed in his work ; 
 and I may justly say, he has been a great comfort to me, and a great in 
 strument of promoting this good work among the Indians ; so that what 
 ever be the state of his own soul, it is apparent God has remarkably fitted 
 him for this work. Thus God has manifested that, without bestowing on 
 me the gift of tongues, he could find a way wherein I might be as effectu 
 ally enabled to convey the truths of his glorious gospel to the minds of 
 these poor benighted Pagans. 
 
 " 5. It is further remarkable, that God has carried on his work here 
 by such means and in such a manner, as tended to obviate, and leave 
 no room, for those prejudices and objections which have often been 
 raised against such a work. When persons have been awakened to a 
 solemn concern for their souls, by hearing the more awful truths of God s 
 word, and the terrors of the divine law insisted upon, it has usually in 
 such cases been objected by some, that such persons were only frightened 
 with a fearful noise of hell and damnation ; and that there was no 
 evidence that their concern was the effect of a divine influence. But God 
 has left no room for this objection in the present case ; this work of grace 
 having been begun and carried on, by almost one continued strain of 
 
1 9 6 MEMOIRS OF B RA INE RD. 
 
 gospel invitation to perishing sinners. This may reasonably be guessed 
 from a view of the passages of scripture I chiefly insisted upon in my dis 
 courses from time to time ; which I have for that purpose inserted in my 
 diary. 
 
 " Nor have I ever seen so general an awakening in any assembly in 
 my life as appeared here while I was opening and insisting upon the 
 parable of the great supper (Luke xiv.) in which discourse, I was enabled 
 to set before my hearers, the unsearchable riches of gospel grace. Not 
 that I would be understood here, that I never instructed the Indians 
 respecting their fallen state, and the sinfulness and misery of it; for this 
 was what I at first, chiefly insisted upon with them, and endeavored to 
 repeat and inculcate in almost every discourse, knowing that without this 
 foundation, I should but build upon the sand, and that it would be in 
 vain to invite them to Christ unless I could convince them of their need 
 of him. 
 
 " But still this great awakening, this surprising concern, was never 
 excited by any harangues of terror, but always appeared most remarkable 
 when I insisted upon the compassion of a dying Saviour, the plentiful 
 provisions of the gospel, and the free offers of divine grace, to needy, 
 distressed sinners. Nor would I be understood to insinuate, that such a 
 religious concern might justly be suspected as not being genuine, and 
 from a divine influence, because produced from the preaching of terror ; 
 for this is perhaps, God s more usual way of awakening sinners, and 
 appears entirely agreeable to scripture and sound reason. But what I 
 meant here to observe is, that God saw fit to employ and bless milder 
 means for the effectual awakening of these Indians, and thereby obviated 
 the forementioned objection, which the world might otherwise have had 
 a more plausible color of making. 
 
 " As there has been no room for any plausible objection against this 
 work, with regard to the means ; so neither with regard to the manner 
 in which it has been carried on. It is true, persons concern for their 
 souls has been exceedingly great ; the convictions of their sin and misery 
 have arisen to a high degree, and produced many tears, cries, and groans ; 
 but then they have not been attended with those disorders, either bodily 
 or mental, which have sometimes prevailed among persons under religious 
 impressions. There has here been no appearance of those convulsions, 
 bodily agonies, frightful screamings, swoonings, and the like, which have 
 been so much complained of in some places; although there have been 
 some, who, with the jailer, have been made to tremble under a sense of 
 their sin and misery ; numbers who have been made to cry out from a dis 
 tressing view of their perishing state ; and some, who have been for a 
 time, in a great measure, deprived of their bodily strength, yet without 
 any such convulsive appearances. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 197 
 
 "Nor lias there been any appearance of mental disorders here, such 
 as visions, trances, imaginations of being under prophetic inspiration, 
 and the like ; or scarce any unbecoming disposition to appear remarkably 
 affected either with concern or joy ; though I must confess, I observed one 
 or two persons, who.se concern I thought was in a considerable measure 
 affected ; and one whose joy appeared to be of the same kind. But these 
 workings of spiritual pride I endeavored to crush in their first appear 
 ances, and have not since observed any affection, either of joy or sorrow, 
 but what appeared genuine and unaffected. But, 
 
 Lastly. The effects of this work have likewise been very remarkable. 
 I doubt not but that many of these people have gained more doctrinal 
 knowledge of divine truths, since I first visited them in June last, than 
 could have been instilled into their minds by the most diligent use of 
 proper and instructive means for whole years together, without such a 
 divine influence. Their pagan notions and idolatrous practices, seem to 
 be entirely abandoned in these parts. They are regulated, and appear 
 regularly disposed in the affairs of marriage ; an instance whereof I have 
 given in my journal of August 14. They seem generally divorced from 
 drunkenness, their darling vice, the sin that easily besets them ; so that 
 I do not know of more than two or three who have been my steady hearers, 
 that have drunk to excess since I first visited them ; although before 
 it was common for some or other of them to be drunk almost every day : 
 and some of them seem now to fear this sin in particular, more than death 
 itself. A principle of honesty and justice appears in many of them ; 
 and they seem concerned to discharge their old debts, which they have 
 neglected, and perhaps scarcely thought of for years past. Their manner 
 of living, is much more decent and comfortable than formerly, haying 
 now the benefit of that money which they used to consume upon strong 
 drink. Love seems to reign among them, especially those who have 
 given evidences of having passed a saving change ; and I never saw any 
 appearance of bitterness or censoriousness in these, nor any disposition 
 to esteem themselves better than others, who had not received the 
 like mercy. 
 
 " As their sorrows under convictions have been great and pressing, so 
 many of them have since appeared to rejoice with joy unspeakable, and 
 full of glory; and yet I never saw anything ecstatic or flighty in their joy. 
 Their consolations do not incline them to lightness ; but, on the contrary, 
 are attended with solemnity, and oftentimes with tears, and an apparent 
 brokenness of heart, as may be seen in several passages of my diary. In 
 this respect some of them have been surprised at themselves, and have 
 with concern observed to me, that when their hearts have been glad, 
 which is a phrase they commonly make use of to express spiritual joy, 
 * they could not help crying for all. 
 
1 9 S MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 " And now, upon the whole, I think, I may justly say, that here are all 
 the symptoms and evidences of a remarkable work of grace among these 
 Indians, which can reasonably be desired or expected. May the great 
 author of this work maintain and promote the same here, and propagate 
 it everywhere, till * the whole earth be filled with his glory ! Amen. 
 
 " I have now rode more than three thousand miles, of which I have 
 kept an exact account, since the beginning of March last, and almost the 
 whole of it has been in my own proper business as a missionary, upon the 
 design, either immediately, or more remotely, of propagating Christian 
 knowledge among the Indians. I have taken pains to look out for a col 
 league or companion, to travel with me ; and have likewise used endea 
 vors to procure something for his support, among religious persons in 
 New England, which cost me a journey of several hundred miles in 
 length ; but have not, as yet, found any person qualified and disposed for 
 this good work, although I had some encouragement from ministers and 
 others, that it was hoped a maintenance might be procured for one, when 
 the man should be found. 
 
 " I have likewise represented to the gentlemen concerned with this 
 mission, the necessity of having an English school speedily set up among 
 these Indians, who are now willing to be at the pains of gathering together 
 in a body for this purpose. In order thereto, I have humbly proposed to 
 them the collecting of money for the maintenance of a schoolmaster, and 
 the defraying of other necessary charges, in the promotion of this good 
 work ; which they are now attempting in the several congregations of 
 Christians to which they respectively belonged. 
 
 " The several companies of Indians to whom I have preached in the 
 sunjmer past, live at great distances from each other. It is more than 
 seventy miles from Crossweeksung, in New Jersey, to the Forks of Dela 
 ware in Pennsylvania ; and thence to sundry of the Indian settlements 
 which I visited on Susquehannah, is more than a hundred and twenty 
 miles. So much of my time is necessarily consumed in journeying, that I 
 can have but little for any of my necessary studies, and consequently for 
 the study of the Indian languages in particular ; and especially seeing I 
 am obliged to discourse so frequently to the Indians at each of these 
 places while I am with them, in order to redeem time to visit the rest. I 
 am, at times, almost discouraged from attempting to gain any acquaintance 
 with the Indian languages, they are so very numerous ; some account of 
 which I gave in my diary of May last : and especially, seeing my other 
 labors and fatigues engross almost the whole of my time, and bear ex 
 ceedingly hard upon my constitution, so that my health is much impaired. 
 However, I have taken considerable pains to learn the Delaware lan 
 guage, and propose still to do so, as far as my other business and bodily 
 health will admit. I have already made some proficiency in it, though I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 199 
 
 have labored under many and great disadvantages in my attempts of that 
 nature. It is but just to observe here, that all the pains I took to acquaint 
 myself with the language of the Indians with whom I spent my first year, 
 were of little or no service to me here among the Delawares ; so that my 
 work, when I came among these Indians, was all to begin anew. 
 
 " As these poor ignorant pagans stood in need of having line upon 
 line, and precept upon precept, in order to their being instructed and 
 grounded in the principles of Christianity ; so I preached publicly, and 
 taught from house to house, almost every day for whole weeks together, 
 when I was with them. My public discourses did not then make up the 
 one half of my work, while there were so many constantly coming to me 
 with that important inquiry, ( What must we do to be saved ? and open 
 ing to me the various exercises of their minds. Yet I can say to the 
 praise of rich grace, that the apparent success with which my labors were 
 crowned, unspeakably more than compensated for the labor itself and was 
 likewise a great means of supporting and carrying me through the busi 
 ness and fatigues, which, it seems, my nature would have sunk under, 
 without such an encouraging prospect. But although this success has 
 afforded matter of support, comfort, and thankfulness ; yet in this season 
 I have found great need of assistance in my work, and have been much 
 oppressed for want of one to bear a part of my labors and hardships. 
 May the Lord of the harvest send forth other laborers into this part of 
 his harvest, that those who sit in darkness may see great light ; and that 
 the whole earth may be filled with the knowledge of himself! Amen." 
 
200 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Efforts to get a Schoolmaster to instruct the Indians. Continuance of the Good Work 
 nl Crossweeksung. Rode more that three thousand miles in a few months in visiting 
 different parts of his Field. Successful attempts to teach the Assembly s Shorter Cate 
 chism to the Indians. Amazing Changes wrought in one Year in the Character of these 
 Indians. 
 
 ON Tuesday, Nov. 5, Brainerd left the Indians and spent 
 the remaining part of this week in traveling to various parts 
 of New Jersey, in order to get a collection for the use of the 
 Indians, and to obtain a schoolmaster to instruct them. In 
 the mean time, he speaks of very sweet refreshment and en 
 tertainment with Christian friends, and of being sweetly em 
 ployed while riding, in meditation on divine subjects ; his 
 heart being enlarged, his mind clear, his spirit refreshed 
 with divine truths, and his " heart burning within him while 
 he went by the way, and the Lord opened to him the scrip 
 tures." 
 
 "Lord s day, Nov. 10. [At Elizabethtown.] Was comfortable in 
 the morning both in body and mind; preached in the forenoon from 2 
 Cor. v. 20. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, etc. God was 
 pleased to give me freedom and fervency in my discourse; and the pres 
 ence of God seemed to be in the assembly ; numbers were affected, and 
 there were many tears among them. In the afternoon, preached from 
 Luke xiv. 22. And yet there is room. Was favored with divine assis 
 tance in the first prayer, and poured out my soul to God with a filial 
 temper; the living God also assisted me in the sermon." 
 
 The next day he went to Newtown, Long Island, to a 
 meeting of Presbytery. He speaks of some sweet medi 
 tations which he had while there, on Christ s delivering up 
 the kingdom to the Father ; and of his soul being much re 
 freshed and warmed with the consideration of that blissful 
 day. 
 
 " A"ov. 15. Could not cross the ferry by reason of the violence of the 
 
MEMOIKS OF BRAL\XRD. 2OI 
 
 wind; nor could I enjoy any place of retirement at the ferry-house; so 
 that I was in perplexity. Yet God gave me some satisfaction and sweet 
 ness in meditation, and in lifting up my heart to him in the midst of com 
 pany. Although some were drinking and talking profanely, which was 
 indeed a grief to me, yet my mind was calm and composed; and I could 
 not but bless God, that I was not likely to spend an eternity in such com 
 pany. In the evening I sat down and wrote with composure and free 
 dom ; and can say through pure grace it was a comfortable evening to 
 my soul ; an evening which I was enabled to spend in the service of God. 
 " Nov. 16. Crossed the ferry about ten o clock, and arrived at Eliza- 
 bethtown near night. Was in a calm, composed frame of mind, and felt 
 an entire resignation, with respect to a loss I had lately sustained in hav 
 ing my horse stolen from me at Nevvtown. Had some longings of soul 
 for the dear people of Elizabethtown, that God would pour out his Spirit 
 upon them, and revive his work among them." 
 
 He spent the next four days at Elizabethtown, for the 
 most part in a free and comfortable state of mind ; intensely 
 engaged in the service of God, and enjoying at times the 
 special assistance of his Spirit. On Thursday of this week 
 he rode to Freehold, and spent the day under considerable 
 dejection. 
 
 " Nov. 22. Rode to Mr. Tennent s, and from thence to Crossweeksung. 
 Had but little freedom in meditation while riding ; which was a grief and 
 burden to my soul. O that I could fill up all my time, whether, in the house 
 or by the way, for God. I was enabled, I think, this day to give up my 
 soul, to God, and put over all his concerns into his hands; and found 
 some real consolation in the thought of being entirely at the divine dis 
 posal, and having no will or interest of my own. I have received my all 
 from God \ O that I could return my all to God ! Surely God is worthy 
 of my highest affections and most devoted adoration ; lie is infinitely 
 worthy that I should make him my last end, and live for ever to him. O 
 that I might never more, in any one instance, live to myself ! 
 
 " Lord s day, Nov. 24.* Preached both parts of the day from the story 
 of Zaccheus, Luke xix. I 9. In the latter exercise, when I opened and 
 insisted upon the salvation that comes to a sinner upon his becoming a 
 son of Abraham or a true believer, the word seemed to be attended with 
 divine power to the hearts of the hearers. Numbers were much affected 
 with divine truths ; former convictions were revived ; one or two per 
 sons newly awakened ; and a most affectionate engagement in divine 
 service appeared among them universally. The impressions they were 
 
 * The second part of the journal began here, 
 
202 MEMOIRS OF ARAINEKD. 
 
 under appeared to be the genuine effect of God s word brought home to 
 their hearts by the power and influence of the Divine Spirit. 
 
 " A r cv. 26. After having spent some time in private conferences 
 with my people, I discoursed publicly among them from John v. 19. I 
 was favored with some special freedom and fervency in my discourse, 
 and a powerful energy accompanied divine truths. Many wept and 
 sobbed affectionately, and scarcely any appeared unconcerned in the 
 whole assembly. The influence which seized the audience, appeared 
 gentle, and yet pungent and efficacious. It produced no boisterous com 
 motions of the passions ; but seemed deeply to affect the heart, and ex 
 cite in the persons under convictions of their lost state, heavy groans and 
 tears: and in others, who had obtained comfort, a sweet and humble 
 melting. It seemed like the gentle but steady showers which effectually 
 water the earth, without violently beating upon the surface. The 
 persons lately awakened were some of them deeply distressed for their 
 souls, and appeared earnestly solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ ; 
 and some of them, after public worship was over, in anguish of spirit, 
 said, they knew not what to do, nor how to get their wicked hearts 
 changed. 
 
 " Nov. 28. Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after having used 
 some private endeavprs to instruct and excite some in the duties of 
 Christianity. Opened and made remarks upon the sacred story of our 
 Lord s transfiguration, Luke ix. 28 36. Had a principal view in insist 
 ing upon this passage of scripture to the edification and consolation of 
 God s people. Observed some, that I have reason to think are truly 
 such, exceedingly affected with an account of the glory of Christ in his 
 transfiguration, and filled with longing desires of being with him, that 
 they might with open face behold his glory. After public service was 
 over, I asked one of them, who wept and sobbed most affectionately, 
 What she now wanted? She replied, O, to be with Christ. She did 
 not know how to stay. This was a blessed refreshing season to the re 
 ligious people in general. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest 
 his divine glory to them, as when transfigured before his disciples ; and 
 they were ready with the disciples universally to say, "Lord, it is good 
 for us to be here. 
 
 * The influence of God s word was not confined to those who had 
 given evidence of being truly gracious ; though at this time I calculated 
 my discourse for and directed it chiefly to such. But it appeared to be a 
 season of Divine power in the whole assembly ; so that most were in 
 some measure affected. One aged man, in particular, lately awakened, 
 was now brought under a deep and pressing concern for his soul, was 
 now earnestly inquisitive how he might find Jesus Christ. God seems 
 still to vouchsafe his divine presence, and the influence of his blessed 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 203 
 
 Spirit to accompany his word, at least in some measure, in all our meet 
 ings for divine worship. 
 
 " I enjoyed some divine comfort and fervency in the public exercise 
 and afterwards. While riding to my lodgings, was favored with 
 some sweet meditations on Luke ix. 31. Who appeared in glory, and 
 spake of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jerusalem. My 
 thoughts ran with freedom ; and I saw and felt what a glorious subject 
 the death of Christ is for glorified souls to dwell upon in their conversa 
 tion. O the death of Christ! how infinitely precious! 
 
 "Nov. 30. Preached near night, after having spent some hours in 
 private conference with some of my people about their soul s concerns. 
 Explained and insisted upon the story of the rich man and Lazarus, Luke 
 xvi. 19 26. The word made powerful impressions upon many in the 
 assembly, especially while I discoursed of the blessedness of Lazarus in 
 Abraham s bosom. This I could perceive affected them much more than 
 what I spoke of the rich man s misery and torments; and thus it has been 
 usually with them. They have almost always appeared much more 
 affected with the comfortable than the dreadful truths of God s word. 
 That which has distressed many of them under conviction is, that they 
 found they wanted, and could not obtain, the happiness of the godly ; at 
 least, they have often appeared to be more affected with this than with 
 the terrors of hell. But whatever be the means of their awakening, it is 
 plain, numbers are made deeply sensible of their sin and misery, the 
 wickedness and stubbornness of their own hearts, their utter inability to 
 help themselves, or to come to Christ for help, without divine assistance; 
 and so are brought to see their perishing need of Christ to do all for them 
 and to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy. 
 
 " Lord s day, Dec. I. Discoursed to my people in the forenoon from 
 Luke xvi. 27-31. There appeared an unfeigned affection in divers 
 persons, and some seemed deeply impressed with divine truths. In the 
 afternoon, preached to a number of white people ; at which time the 
 Indians attended with diligence, and many of them were unable to under 
 stand a considerable part of the discourse. At night discoursed to my 
 people again, and gave them particular cautions and directions relating to 
 their conduct in divers respects, and pressed them to watchfulness in their 
 deportment, seeing they were encompassed with those who waited for 
 their halting, and who stood ready to draw them into temptations of every 
 kind, and then to expose religion by their missteps. Dec. 2. Was much 
 affected with grief that I had not lived more to God ; and felt strong res 
 olutions to double my diligence in my Master s service." 
 
 After this he went to a meeting of the Presbytery, at a 
 place in New Jersey called Connecticut Farms, and was ab- 
 
204 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 sent the remainder of the week. He speaks of some seasons 
 of sweetness and spiritual affection in his absence. 
 
 " Lord s dry, Dec. 8. Discoursed on the story of the blind man, John 
 ix. There appeared no remarkable effect of the word upon the assembly 
 at this time. The persons who have lately been much concerned for their 
 souls, seemed now not so affected nor solicitous to obtain an interest in 
 Christ as has been usual; although they attended divine service with 
 seriousness and diligence. Such have been the doings of the Lord here 
 in awakening sinners, and affecting the hearts of those who are brought 
 to solid comfort with a fresh sense of divine things, from time to time, 
 that it is now strange to see the assembly sit with dry eyes and without 
 sobs and groans. Dec. 9. 10. n. Spent most of the day in procuring 
 provisions in order to my setting up housekeeping among the Indians. 
 Enjoyed little satisfaction through the day, being very much out of my 
 element. Was engaged in the same business as yesterday. Towards 
 night got into my house. Spent the forenoon in necessary labors about 
 my house. In the afternoon rode out upon business ; and passed the 
 evening with satisfaction among friends in conversation on a serious and 
 profitable subject. 
 
 * Dec. 12. Preached from the parable of the Ten Virgins, (Matt, xxv.) 
 The divine power seemed in some measure to attend this discourse ; in 
 which I was favored with uncommon freedom and plainness of address, 
 and enabled to open divine truths, and explain them to the capacities of 
 my people in a manner beyond myself. There appeared in many persons 
 an affectionate concern for their souls, although the concern in general 
 seemed not sb deep and pressing as it had formerly done. Yet it was re 
 freshing to see many melted into tears and unaffected sobs; some with a 
 sense of divine love, and some for the want of it. 
 
 (l Dec. 13. Spent the day mainly in labor about my house. In the even 
 ing, spent some time in writing ; but was very weary and much outdone 
 with the labor of the day. Dec. 1 4. Rose early, and wrote by candle 
 light some considerable time ; spent most of the day in writing, but was 
 somewhat dejected. In the evening was exercised with pain in my head. 
 Dec. 15. Preached to the Indians from Luke xiii. 24-28. Divine 
 truth fell with weight and power upon the audience and seemed to reach 
 the hearts of many. Near night discoursed to them again from Matt, 
 xxv. 31-46. At this season also the word appeared to be accompanied 
 with a divine influence, and made powerful impressions upon the assembly 
 in general, as well as upon numbers in a very special and particular 
 manner. This was an amazing season of grace. The word of the Lord, 
 this day, was quick and powerful, sharper than a two edged sword, and 
 
 * Tliis is the third house that he built to dwell in among the Indians. The first at 
 Kaunauineek, county of Albany ; the second at the Forks of Delaware ; the third at 
 Crossweeksung, New Jersey. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 205 
 
 pierced the hearts of many. The assembly was greatly affected and 
 deeply wrought upon ; yet without so much apparent commotion of the 
 passions as appeared in the beginning of this work of grace. The im 
 pressions made by the word of God upon the audience appeared solid, 
 rational, and deep; worthy of the solemn truths by which they were pro 
 duced; and far from being the effects of any sudden fright or groundless 
 perturbation of mind. O, how did the hearts of the hearers seem to bow 
 under the weight of divine truths; and how evident did it now appear, 
 that they received and felt them, not as the word of man, but as the word 
 of God. None can form a just idea of the appearance of our assembly 
 at this time but those who have seen a congregation solemnly awed, and 
 deeply impressed by the special power and influence of divine truths 
 delivered to them in the name of God. 
 
 " Dec. 16. Discoursed to my people in the evening from Luke xi. 1-13 
 After having insisted some time upon the ninth verse, wherein there is a 
 command and encouragement to ask for the divine favor, I called upon 
 them to ask for a new heart with the utmost importunity ; as the man 
 mentioned l\ the parable, on which I was discoursing, pleaded for loaves 
 of bread at midnight. There was much affection and concern in the as 
 sembly, and especially one woman appeared in great distress for her soul. 
 She was brought to such an agony in seeking after Christ, that the sweat 
 ran off her face although the evening was very cold and her bitter cries 
 were the most affecting indications of her heart. 
 
 " Dec. 21. My people having now attained to a considerable degree of 
 knowledge in the principles of Christianity, I thought it proper to set up 
 a catechetical lecture among them; and this evening attempted something 
 in that form ; proposing questions to them agreeably to the Assembly s 
 Shorter Catechism, receiving their answers, and then explaining and in 
 sisting as appeared necessary and proper upon each question. After this 
 I endeavored to make some practical improvement of the whole. This 
 was the method I entered upon. They were able readily and rationally 
 to answer many important questions which I proposed to them; so that 
 upon trial, I found their doctrinal knowledge to exceed my own expecta 
 tions. In the improvement of my discourse, when I came to infer and 
 open the blessedness of those who have so great and glorious a Gocl, as 
 had before been spoken of, for their everlasting friend and portion, * 
 several were much affected, and especially when I exhorted, and endea 
 vored to persuade them to be reconciled to God through his dear Son, 
 and thus to secure an interest in his everlasting favor. So that they ap 
 peared not only enlightened and instructed, but affected and engaged in 
 their soul s concern by this method of discoursing. After my labors with 
 the Indians. I spent some time in writing some things divine and solemn; 
 and was much wearied with the labors of the day, found that my spirits 
 
206 MEMOIRS OF RRAINERD. 
 
 were extremely spent, and that I could do no more. I am conscious to 
 myself that my labors are as great and constant as my nature will admit; 
 and ordinarily I go to the extent of my strength, so that I do all I can ; 
 but the misery is I do not labor with that heavenly temper, that single eye 
 to the glory of God, that I long for. 
 
 " Lord s day, Dec. 22. Discoursed upon the story of the young man in 
 the Gospel, Matt. ix. 16-22. God made it a seasonable word, I am per 
 suaded, to some souls. There were several of the Indians newly come 
 here, who had frequently lived among Quakers ; and, being more civilized 
 and conformed to English manners than the generality of the Indians 
 they had imbibed some of the Quakers errors, especially this fundamental 
 one, viz. That if men will but live soberly and honestly according to the 
 dictates of their own consciences, or the light within, there is then no 
 danger or doubt of their salvation. These persons I found much worse 
 to deal with than those who are wholly under pagan darkness ; who make no 
 pretences to knowledge in Christianity at all, nor have any self-righteous 
 foundation to stand upon. However, they all, except one, appeared now 
 convinced that this sober honest life of itself was not sufficient to salvation 
 since Christ himself had declared it so in the case of the young man. 
 They seemed in some measure concerned to obtain that change of heart, 
 the necessity of which I had been laboring to show them. 
 
 " This was likewise a season of comfortto some souls, and in particular 
 to one, the same mentioned in my journal of the i6th instant, who never 
 before obtained any settled comfort, though I have abundant reason 
 to think she had passed a saving change some days before. She 
 now appeared in a heavenly frame of mind, composed, and de 
 lighted with the divine will. When I came to discourse particularly 
 with her, and to enquire of her, how she obtained relief and deliverance 
 from the spiritual distresses which she had lately suffered: she answered 
 in broken English,* Me try, me try save myself; last, my strength be 
 all gone; (meaning her ability to save herself;) could not me stir bit 
 further. Den last me forced let Jesus Christ alone send me hell, if he 
 please. I said, But, you was not willing to go to hell ; was you ? She 
 replied, Could not me help it. My heart, he would wicked for all. Could 
 not me make him good, (meaning, she saw it was right she should go to 
 hell, because her heart was wicked, and would be so after all she could do 
 tf> mend it.) I asked her, how she got out of this case. She answered 
 still in the same broken language, 4 15y by, my heart be glad desperately. 
 I asked her, why her heart was glad ? She replied, Glad my heart, 
 Jesus Christ do what he please with me. Den me tink, glad my heart 
 
 * In proper English, I tried, and tried to save myself, till at last my strength was ail 
 gone, and I could not stir any further. Then I was at last obliged to let Jesus Christ 
 alone, to send me to hell if he pleased. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 207 
 
 Jesus Christ send me to hell. Did not me care where he put me ; love 
 him for all. She could not readily be convinced, but th.it she was will 
 ing to go to hell if Christ was pleased to send her there ; although the 
 truth evidently was, that her will was so swallowed up in the divine will, 
 that she could not frame any hell in her imagination which would be 
 dreadful or undesirable, provided it was the will of God to send her to it. 
 Toward night discoursed to them again in the catechetical method, which 
 I entered upon the evening before. When I came to improve the truth 
 which I had explained to them, and to answer that question, But how 
 shall I know whether God has chosen me to everlasting life ? by pressing 
 them to come and give up their hearts to Christ, and thereby to make 
 their election sure, they then appeared much affected : and persons under 
 concern were afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in him ; while 
 some others, who had obtained comfort before, were refreshed to find that 
 love to God in themselves, which was an evidence of his electing love to 
 them. 
 
 " Dec. 23 and2\. Spent three days in writing with the utmost dili 
 gence. Felt in the main a sweet mortification to the world, and a desire 
 to live and labor only for God ; but wanted more warmth and spirituality, 
 and a more sensible and affectionate regard for the glory of God. 
 
 " Dec. 25. The Indians having been used on Christmas-days to drink 
 and revel among some of the white people in these parts, I thought it 
 proper this day to call them together and discourse to them upon divine 
 things ; which I accordingly did from the parable of the barren fig-tree, 
 Luke xiii, 6-9. A divine influence, accompanied the word at this season. 
 The power of God appeared in the assembly, not by producing any remark 
 able crisis, but by rousing several stupid creatures, who were scarcely ever 
 moved with any concern before. The power attending divine truths seemed 
 to have the influence of the earthquake rather than of the whirlwind upon 
 them. Their passions were not so much alarmed as has been common here 
 in times past but, their judgments appeared to be powerfully convinced by 
 the masterly and conquering influence of divine truths. The impression 
 made upon the assembly in general, seemed not superficial, but deep and 
 heart affecting. O how ready did they now appear universally to embrace 
 and comply with everything which they heard and were convinced was their 
 duty. God was in the midst of us of a truth, bowing and melting stubborn 
 lu-arts! How many tears and sobs were then to be seen and heard among us ! 
 What liveliness and strict attention ! What eagerness and intenseness 
 of mind appeared in the whole assembly, in the time of Divine service. 
 They seemed to watch and wait for the droppings of God s word, as the 
 thirsty earth for the former and latter rain. Afterwards I discoursed 
 to them on the duty of husbands and wives, from Eph. v. 22, 23. and 
 have reason to think this was a word in season. Spent some time further 
 
20 8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 in the evening in inculcating the truths on which I had insisted in my for 
 mer discourse respecting the barren fig-tree ; and observed a powerful 
 influence accompany what was spoken. 
 
 " Dec. 26. This evening was visited by a person under great spiritual 
 distress ; the most remarkable instance of this kind I ever saw.* 
 
 " Dec. 27. Labored in my studies to the utmost of my strength, and 
 though I felt a steady disposition of mind to live to God, and a firm con 
 viction that I had nothing in this world to live for, yet I did not find that 
 sensible affection in the service of God which I wanted to have. My 
 heart seemed barren, though rny head and hands were full of labor. 
 
 " Dec. 28. Discoursed to my people in the catechetical method on 
 which I lately entered. In the improvement of my discourse, wherein I 
 was comparing man s present with his primitive state, and showing from 
 what he had fallen, and the miseries in which he is now involved, and to 
 which he is exposed in his natural estate ; and pressing sinners to take a 
 view of their deplorable circumstances without Christ, as also to strive 
 that they might obtain an interest in him ; the Lord, I trust, granted a 
 remarkable influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany what was 
 spoken ; and a great concern appeared in the assembly. Many were 
 melted into tears and sobs ; and the impressions made upon them seemed 
 deep and heart-affecting. In particular there were two or three persons 
 who appeared to be brought to the last exercises of a preparatory work, 
 and reduced almost to extremity ; being in a great measure convinced of 
 the impossibility of their helping themselves, or of mending their own 
 hearts ; and seemed to be upon the point of giving up all hope in them 
 selves, and of venturing upon Christ, as poor, helpless, and undone. Yet 
 they were in distress and anguish, because they saw no safety in so doing, 
 unless they could do something towards saving themselves. One of these 
 persons was the very aged woman above-mentioned, who now appeared 
 weary and heavy laden with a sense of her sin and misery, and her 
 perishing need of an interest in Christ." 
 
 This day Brainerd wrote the following letter to his brother 
 John, at Yale College : 
 
 CROSSWEEKSUNG, NEW JERSEY, Dec. 28, 1745. 
 " VERY DEAR BROTHER : 
 
 " I am in one continued, perpetual, and uninterrupted hurry ; and 
 divine Providence throws so much upon me, that I do not see how it will 
 
 *[HR.MNERD S account of this remarkable conversion, and of two or three other cases, 
 described by him in his journal, I have ventured to give in succinct form in his own 
 words, in a separate chapter. The reader cannot fail to be deeply interested in the special 
 operations of God s Spirit on t^e hearts of these untutored savages. J- M. S.] 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 209 
 
 ever be otherwise. May I obtain mercy of God to be faithful to the 
 death ! " I cannot say that I am weary of my hurry. I only want strength 
 and grace to do more for God than I have ever yet done. 
 
 " My dear brother, the Lord of heaven, who has carried me through 
 many trials, bless you for time and eternity, and fit you to do service for 
 him in his church below, and to enjoy his blissful presence in his church 
 triumphant. 
 
 " My dear brother, the time is short. O let us fill it up for God ; let 
 us count the sufferings of this present time as nothing, if we can but run 
 our race, and finish our course with joy. O let us strive to live for God ! 
 I bless the Lord, I have nothing to do with earth, but only to labor 
 honestly in it for God, till I shall accomplish as an hireling my day. 
 I think I do not desire to live one minute for anything which earth can 
 afford. Oh that I could live for none but God, till my dying moment ! 
 " I am your affectionate brother, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 Lord s day, Dec. 29. Preached from John iii. 1-5. A number of 
 white people were present, as is usual upon the Sabbath. The discourse 
 was accompanied with power, and seemed to have a silent, but deep and 
 piercing influence upon the audience. Many wept and sobbed affection 
 ately. There were some tears among the white people, as well as the 
 Indians. Some could not refrain from crying out ; though there were not 
 many so exercised. But the impressions made upon their hearts appeared 
 chiefly by the extraordinary earnestness of their attention, and their heavy 
 sighs and tears. 
 
 " After public worship was over, I went to my house, proposing to preach 
 again after a short season of intermission. But they soon came in, one 
 after another, with tears in their eyes, to know what they should to be 
 saved. The divine Spirit in such a manner set home upon their hearts 
 what I spake to them, that the house was soon filled with cries and 
 groans. They all flocked together upon this occasion ; and those whom 
 I had reason to think in a Christless state, were almost universally seized 
 with concern for their souls. It was an amazing season of power among 
 them ; and seemed as if God had bowed the heavens and come down. 
 So astonishingly prevalent was the operation upon old as well as yountr, 
 that it seemed as if none would be left in a secure and natural state, but 
 that God was now about to convert all the world. I was ready to think 
 then, that I should never again despair of the conversion of any man or 
 woman living, be they who or what they would. 
 
 " It is impossible to give a just and lively description of the appear 
 ance of things at this season ; at least such as to convey a bright and 
 adequate idea of the effects of this influence. A number might now be 
 
2io MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 
 
 seen rejoicing that God had not taken away the powerful influence of his 
 blessed Spirit from this place; refreshed to see so many striving to enter 
 in at the strait gate ; and animated with such concern for them, that they 
 wanted to push them forward, as some of them expressed it. At the 
 same time numbers, both of men and women, old and young, might be 
 seen in tears; and some in anguish of spirit appearing in their very 
 countenances, like condemned malefactors bound towards the place of 
 execution, with a heavy solicitude sitting in their faces; so that there 
 f.eemed here, as I thought, a lively emblem of the solemn day of account ; 
 a mixture of heaven and hell; of joy and anguish inexpressible. 
 
 " The concern and religious affection was such, that I could not pre 
 tend to have any formal religious exercise among them ; but spent the 
 time in discoursing to one and another, as I thought most proper and 
 seasonable for each ; and addressed them all together; and finally con 
 cluded with prayer. Such were their circumstances at this season, that I 
 could scarcely have half an hour s rest from speaking, from about half an 
 hour before twelve o clock, at which time I began public worship, till 
 after seven at night. There appeared to be four or five persons newly 
 awakened this day and the evening before ; some of whom but very lately 
 came among us. 
 
 "D jc. 30. Was visited by four or five young persons, under concern 
 for their souls ; most of whom were lately awakened. They wept much 
 while I discoursed with them ; and endeavored to press upon them the 
 necessity of flying to Christ without delay for salvation. 
 
 "Dec. 31. Spent some hours this day in visiting my people from 
 house to house, and conversing with them about their spiritual concerns ; 
 endeavoring to press upon Christless souls the necessity of renovation of 
 heart ; and scarce left a house without leaving some or other of its 
 inhabitants in tears, appearing solicitously engaged to obtain an interest 
 in Christ. The Indians are now gathered together from all quarters to 
 this place, and have built them little cottages, so that more than twenty 
 families live within a quarter of a mile of me. A very convenient situa 
 tion with regard both to public and private instruction. 
 
 "Jan. i, 1746. I am this day beginning a new year, and God has 
 carried me through numerous trials and labors in the past. He has 
 amazingly supported my feeble frame ; for having obtained help of God, 
 I continue to this day. O that I might live nearer to God this year than 
 I did the last ! The business to which I have been called, and which I 
 have been enabled to go through, I know has been as great as nature 
 could bear up under, and what would have sunk and overcome me quite, 
 without special support. But alas, alas! though I have done the labors 
 and endured the trials; with what spirit have T done the one and endured 
 the other ? How cold has been the frame of my heart oftentimes ! and how 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2 1 1 
 
 little have I sensibly eyed the glory of God in all my doings and suffer 
 ings ! I have found that I could have no peace without filling up all my 
 time with labor. Thus necessity has been laid upon me ; yea, in that 
 respect, I have loved to labor; but the misery is, I could not sensibly 
 labor for God, as I would have done. May I for the future be enabled 
 more sensibly to make the glory of God my all. Spent considerable time 
 in visiting my people again. Found scarcely one but what was under 
 some serious impressions respecting their spiritual concerns. 
 
 "Jan. 2. Visited some persons newly come among us, who had scarce 
 ever heard anything of Christianity before, except the empty name. En 
 deavored to instruct them, particularly in the first principles of religion, 
 in the most easy and familiar manner I could. There are strangers from 
 remote parts almost continually dropping in among us, so that I have oc 
 casion repeatedly to open and inculcate the first principles of Christianity. 
 "Jan. 4. Prosecuted my catechetical method of instructing. Found 
 my people able to answer questions with propriety, beyond what could 
 have been expected from persons so lately brought out of heathenish 
 darkness. In the improvement of my discourse, there appeared some 
 concern and affection in the assembly, and especially in those of whom 
 I entertained hopes as being truly gracious, at least several of them were 
 much affected and refreshed. 
 
 Lord s day, Jan. 5. Discoursed from Matt. xii. 10-13. There ap 
 peared not so much liveliness and affection in divine service as usual. 
 The same truths, which have often produced many tears and sobs in the 
 assembly, seemed now to have no special influence upon any in it. Near 
 night I proposed to have proceeded in my usual method of catechising ; 
 but while we were engaged in the first prayer, the power of God seemed 
 to descend upon the assembly in such a remarkable manner, and so many 
 appeared under pressing concern for their souls, that I thought it much 
 more expedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made by divine 
 grace for the redemption of perishing sinners, and to press them to a 
 speedy acceptance of the great salvation, than to ask them questions about 
 doctrinal points. What was most practical, seemed most seasonable to 
 be insisted upon, while numbers appeared so extraordinarily solicitous to 
 obtain an interest in the great Redeemer. Baptized two persons this 
 day ; one adult, the woman particularly mentioned in my journal of Dec. 
 22, and one child. 
 
 " This woman has discovered a very sweet and heavenly frame of 
 mind from time to time, since her first reception of comfort. One morn 
 ing in particular, she came to see me, discovering an unusual joy and sat 
 isfaction in her countenance ; and when I inquired into the reason of it, 
 she replied, that God had made her feel that it was right for him to do 
 v;hat he pleased with all things; and that it would be right if he should 
 
2 1 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 cast her husband and son both into hell ; and she saw it was so right for 
 God to do what he pleased with them, that she could not but rejoice in 
 God even if he should send them into hell ; though it was apparent she 
 loved them dearly. She moreover inquired whether I was not sent to 
 preach to the Indians by some good people a great way off. I replied, 
 Yes, by the good people in Scotland. She answered, that her heart 
 loved those good people so the evening before, that she could not help 
 praying for them all night ; her heart would go to God for them. Thus the 
 blessings of those ready to perish are like to come upon those pious per 
 sons who have communicated of their substance to the propagation of the 
 gospel. 
 
 "Jan. 6. Being very weak in body, I rode for my health. While rid 
 ing, my thoughts were sweetly engaged for a time upon the Stone cut 
 out of the mountain without hands, which broke in pieces all before it, 
 and waxed great, and became a great mountain, and filled the whole 
 earth ; and I longed that Jesus should take to himself his great power, 
 and reign to the ends of the earth. O how sweet were the moments 
 wherein I felt my soul warm with hopes of the enlargement of the Re 
 deemer s kingdom : I wanted nothing else, but that Christ should reign 
 to the glory of his blessed name. 
 
 "Jan 8. In the evening my heart was drawn out after God in secret ; 
 my soul was refreshed and quickened, and I trust faith was in exercise. 
 I had great hopes of the ingathering of precious souls to Christ, not only 
 among my own people, but others also. I was sweetly resigned and com 
 posed under my bodily weakness ; and was willing to live or die, and de 
 sirous to labor for God to the utmost of my strength. 
 
 "Jan 9. Was still very weak and exercised with vapory disorders. 
 In the evening enjoyed some enlargement and spirituality in prayer. O 
 that I could always spend my time profitably both in health and weak 
 ness. Jan. 10. My soul was in a sweet, calm, and composed frame, and 
 my heart filled with love to all the world ; and Christian simplicity and 
 tenderness seemed then to prevail and reign within me. Near night 
 visited a serious Baptist minister, and had some agreeable conversation 
 with him, and found that I could love Christ in his friends. Jan. 11. 
 Discoursed in a catechetical method, as usual, of late. Having opened 
 our first parent s primitive apostacy from God, and our fall in him ; I 
 proceeded to apply my discourse by showing the necessity we stood in of 
 an almighty Redeemer, and the absolute need every sinner has of an in 
 terest in his merits and mediation. There was some tenderness and af 
 fectionate concern apparent in the assembly. 
 
 " Lord s day, Jan, 12. Preached from Isaiah Iv. 6. The word of God 
 seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine weight and influence, and 
 evidently appeared to be not the word of man. The blessed Spirit, I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 213 
 
 am persuaded accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many ; so 
 that there was a powerful revival of conviction in numbers who were 
 under spiritual exercise before. Toward night catechised in my usual 
 method. Near the close of my discourse, there appeared a great concern 
 and much affection in the audience ; which increased while I continued 
 to invite them to come to an all-sufficient Redeemer for salvation. The 
 Spirit of God seems from time to time to be striving with souls here. 
 They are so frequently and repeatedly roused, that they seem unable at 
 present to lull themselves asleep. 
 
 "Jan, 13. Was visited by several persons under deep concern for 
 their souls ; one of whom was newly awakened. It is a most agreeable 
 work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring what they shall do 
 to be saved. As we are never to be weary in well doing, so the obligation 
 seems to be peculiarly strong when the work is so very desirable. Yet I 
 must say, my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so wasted with 
 my labors and solitary manner of living ; there being no human creature 
 in the house with me ; that their repeated and almost incessant applica 
 tions to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceedingly burden 
 some, and so exhaust my spirits, that I become fit for nothing at all, en 
 tirely unable to prosecute my business, sometimes for days together. 
 What contributes much towards this difficulty is, that I am obliged to 
 spend much time in communicating a little matter to them; there being 
 oftentimes many things to be premised before I can speak directly to what 
 I principally aim at; which things would readily be taken for granted, 
 where there was a competency of doctrinal knowledge. 
 
 "Jan. 14. Spent some time in private conference with my people, 
 and found some disposed to take comfort, as I thought, upon slight 
 grounds. They are now generally awakened, and it is become so dis 
 graceful, as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be destitute of religion, 
 that they are in imminent danger of taking up with an appearance of 
 grace, rather than to live under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerated 
 state. 
 
 "Jan. 15. My spirits were very low and flat, and I could not but 
 think I was a burden to God s earth ; and could scarcely look anybody 
 in the face through shame and sense of barrenness. God pity a poor un 
 profitable creature. 
 
 "/an. 18. Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing. There 
 appeared a great solemnity and some considerable affection in the assem 
 bly. This method of instruction I find very profitable. When I first 
 entered upon it, I was exercised with fears lest my discourses would 
 unavoidably be so doctrinal, that they would tend only to enlighten the 
 head, but not to affect the heart. But the event proved quite otherwise : 
 
214 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter, as 
 well as the former respects. 
 
 " Lord s day, Jan. 19. Discoursed to my people from Isaiah Iv. 7. 
 Toward night catechised in my ordinary method ; and this appeared to be 
 a powerful season of grace among us. Numbers were much affected. 
 Convictions were powerfully revived, and divers numbers of Christians 
 refreshed and strengthened ; and one weary, heavy laden soul, I have 
 abundant reason to hope, brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ ; 
 who afterwards gave me such an account of God s dealing with his soul, 
 as was abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing to me."* 
 
 The next day Brainerd set out on a journey to Elizabeth- 
 town, to confer with the Correspondents at their meeting 
 there, and enjoyed much spiritual refreshment from day to day, 
 through this week. The things expressed at this time are 
 such as these : serenity, composure, sweetness, and tender 
 ness of soul ; thanksgiving to God for his success among the 
 Indians ; delight in prayer and praise ; sweet and profitable 
 meditations on various divine subjects ; longing for more 
 love, for more vigor to live to God, for a life more entirely 
 devoted to him, that he might spend all his time profitably 
 for God and his cause ; conversing on spiritual subjects with 
 affection ; and lamentation for unprofitableness. 
 
 " Lord s day, Jan. 26. [At Connecticut Farms.] Was calm and com 
 posed. Was made sensible of utter inability to preach without divine 
 help and was in some good measure willing to leave it with God to give 
 or withhold assistance, as he saw would be most for his own glory. Was 
 favored with a considerable degree of assistance in my public work. 
 After public worship I was in a sweet and solemn frame of mind, thankful 
 to God that he had made me in some measure faithful in addressing pre 
 cious souls, but grieved that I had been no more fervent in my work ; and 
 was tenderly affected towards all the world, longing that every sinner 
 might be saved; and could not have entertained any bitterness towards 
 the worst enemy living. In the evening rode to Elizabethtown ; and 
 while riding was almost constantly engaged in lifting up my heart to God, 
 lest I should lose that sweet, heavenly solemnity and composure of soul 
 which I then enjoyed. Afterwards was pleased to think that God reigneth ; 
 and thought I could never be uneasy with any of his dispensations, but 
 must be entirely satisfied, whatever trials he should cause me in his church 
 to encounter. Never felt more sedateness, divine serenity, and composure 
 * [S^e the next chapter for his account of this interesting case. J. M. S.] 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2 1 5 
 
 of mind ; could freely have left the clearest earthly friend for the society 
 of angels and spirits of just men made perfect; my affections soared aloft 
 to the blessed Author of every dear enjoyment. I viewed the emptiness 
 and unsatisfactory nature of the most desirable, earthly objects, any further 
 than God is seen in them, and longed for a life of spirituality and inward 
 purity ; without which I saw there could be no true pleasure. 
 
 "Jan. 28th. [At Crossweeksung,] The Indians in these parts, have in 
 times past run themselves in debt by their excessive drinking ; and some 
 have taken the advantage of them, and put them to trouble and charge, by 
 arresting sundry of them ; whereby it was supposed their hunting lands, in 
 great part, were much endangered, and might speedily be taken from 
 them. Being sensible that they could not subsist together in these parts, 
 in order to their being a Christian congregation, if these lands should be 
 taken, which was thought very likely, I thought it my duty to use my 
 utmost endaevors to prevent so unhappy an event. Having acquainted 
 the gentlemen concerned in this mission with the affair, according to the 
 best information I could get of it, they thought it proper to expend the 
 money which they had been, and still were collecting for the religious in 
 terest of the Indians, at least a part of it, for discharging their debts and 
 securing these lands, that there might be no entanglement lying upon 
 them to hinder the settlement and hopeful enlargement of a Christian con 
 gregation of Indians in these parts. Having received orders from them, 
 I answered, in behalf of the Indians, eighty-two pounds, five shillings, 
 N. Jersey currency, at eight shillings per ounce ; and so prevented the 
 danger of difficulty in this respect. 
 
 " As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace among these Indians, 
 and now inclines others from remote places to fall in among them almost 
 continually ; and as he has opened a door for the prevention of the diffi 
 culty now mentioned, which seemed greatly to threaten their religious in 
 terests as well as worldly comforts, it is to be hoped that he designs to 
 establish a church for himself among them, and hand down true religion to 
 their posterity 
 
 " Jan. 30. Preached to the Indians from John iii. 16, 17. There was 
 a solemn attention and some affection visible in the audience; especially 
 several persons, who had long been concerned for their souls, seemed 
 afresh excited and engaged in seeking after an interest in Christ. One, 
 with much concern, afterwards told me his heart was so pricked with 
 my preaching he knew not where to turn or what to do. 
 
 "Jan. 31. This clay the person whom I had made choice of and engaged 
 for a schoolmaster among the Indians, arrived among us, and was 
 heartily welcomed by my people universally. Whereupon I distributed 
 several dozens of primers among the children. Fb. i. My schoolmaster 
 entered upon his business among the Indians. He has generally about 
 
2l6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 thirty children and young persons in his school in the day time, and about 
 fifteen married people in the evening school. The number of the latter 
 sort of persons being less than it would be if they could be more constantly 
 at home, and could spare time from their necessary employments for an 
 attendance upon these instructions. 
 
 " Towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a divine sub 
 ject, viz., that treated of i Cor. xv. 13-16 : But if there be no resurrection 
 of the dead, etc., which I ever remember to have had upon any subject 
 whatsoever; and spent two or three hours in writing them. I was re 
 freshed with this intenseness ; my mind was so engaged in these medita 
 tions I could scarcely turn it to anything else, and indeed I could not be 
 willing to part with so sweet an entertainment. In the evening catechised 
 in my usual method. Towards the close of my discourse, a surprising 
 power seemed to attend the word, especially to some persons. One man 
 considerably in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer, 
 and murderer, and was awakened some months before, was now brought 
 to great extremity under his spiritual distress ; so that he trembled for 
 hours together, and apprehended himself just dropping into hell, without 
 any power to rescue or relieve himself. Divers others appeared under 
 great concern as well as he, and solicitous to obtain a saving change. 
 
 "LonFs day, Feb. 2. Preached from John v. 24, 25. There appeared 
 as usual some concern and affection in the assembly. Towards night 
 proceeded in my usual method of catechising. Observed my people more 
 ready in answering the questions proposed to them than ever before. It 
 is apparent they advance daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still 
 more desirable, the Spirit of God is yet operating among them ; whereby 
 experimental, as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in their 
 ,minds. 
 
 " After public worship, my bodily strength being much spent, my 
 spirits sunk amazingly, and especially on hearing that I was generally 
 taken to be a Roman Catholic, sent by the Papists to draw the Indians 
 jnto an insurrection against the English, that some were in fear of me, and 
 others w.e.re for having me taken up by authority and punished. Alas, what 
 will not the devil do to bring a slur and disgrace on the work of God ! O 
 how holy and circumspect had I need to be ! Through divine goodness I 
 have^een enabled to mind my own business in these parts as well as else 
 where ; and to let all men, and all denominations of men alone, as to their 
 party notions, and only preached the plain and necessary truths of Chris 
 tianity, ne-i.ther inviting to, nor excluding from any meeting, any of any 
 ort or persuasion whatsoever. Towards night the Lord gave me freedom 
 at the throne of grace in my first prayer before my catechetical lecture ; 
 and in opening the xivth Psalnj tq ray people, my soul confided in God; 
 although the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even con- 
 
OF /> RAJ NERD. 217 
 
 demn and execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly, God 
 is a present help in time of trouble. In the evening my soul was in some 
 measure comforted, having some hope that one poor soul was brought 
 home to God this day; though the case did by no means appear clear. 
 Oh, that I could fill up every moment of time during my abode here below 
 in the service of my God and King. 
 
 " Feb. 3. My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard the day 
 before of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pretender s interest. 
 It grieved me, that after there had been so much evidence of a glorious 
 work of grace among these poor Indians, as that the most carnal men 
 could not but take notice of the great change made among them, so many 
 poor souls should still suspect the whole to be only a Popish plot, and 
 so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the divine Spirit, and 
 at the same time wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit 
 by this divine influence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever 
 dropped anything inadvertently, which might give occasion to any to 
 suspect that I was stirring up the Indians against the English ; and 
 could think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to vindi 
 cate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid practice of 
 making the Indians drunk, and then cheating them out of their lands and 
 other property. Once I remembered I had done this with too much 
 warmth of spirit, which much distressed me ; thinking that it might 
 possibly prejudice them against this work of grace to their everlasting 
 destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial, which served to 
 humble me, and show me the necessity of watchfulness, and of being wise 
 as a serpent as well as harmless as a dove. This exercise led me to a 
 throne of grace, and there I found some support ; though I could not get 
 the burden wholly removed. Was assisted in prayer, especially in the 
 evening." 
 
 He remained still under a degree of anxiety about this 
 affair, which continued to have the same effect upon him to 
 cause him to reflect upon and humble himself, and frequent 
 the throne of grace ; but soon found himself much more re 
 lieved and supported. He was this week in an extremely 
 weak state, and obliged, as he expresses it, " to consume 
 considerable time in diversions for his health." 
 
 " Feb. 5. Discoursed to a considerable number of the Indians in the 
 evening ; at which time numters of them appeared much affected and 
 melted with divine things. Feb. 8. Spent a considerable part of the 
 day in visiting my people from house to house, and conversing with them 
 about their soul s concerns. Divers persons wept while I discoursed to 
 
2 j 3 MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 
 
 them, and appeared concerned for nothing so much as for an interest m 
 the great Redeemer. In the evening catechised as usual. Divine truths 
 made some impressions upon the audience ; and were attended with an 
 affectionate engagement of soul in some. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. 9. Discoursed to my people from the story of the 
 blind man, Matt. x. 46-52. The word of God seemed weighty and power 
 ful upon the assembly at this time, and made considerable impressions 
 upon many ; several in particular, who have generally been remarkably 
 stupid and careless under the means of grace, were now awakened, and 
 wept affectionately. The most earnest attention, as well as tenderness 
 and affection appeared in the audience universally. Baptized three per 
 sons ; two adults and one child. The adults, I have reason to hope, 
 were both truly pious. There was considerable melting in the assembly, 
 while I was discoursing particularly to the persons, and administering the 
 ordinance. God has been pleased to own and bless the administration 
 of this as well as of his other ordinances among the Indians. There are 
 some here who have been powerfully awakened at seeing others baptized ; 
 and some who have obtained relief and comfort just in the season when 
 this ordinance has been administered." 
 
 The Monday after he set out on a journey to the Forks 
 of Delaware, to visit the Indians there. He performed the 
 journey under great weakness, and was sometimes exercised 
 with much pain ; but says nothing of his dejection and mel 
 ancholy. He arrived at his own house at the Forks on Fri 
 day. During the week he appears from his Diary to have 
 enjoyed a sweet composure of mind, thankfulness to God for 
 his mercies to him and others, resignation to the divine will, 
 and comfort in prayer and religious conversation. At the 
 same time his heart was drawn out after God, and affected 
 with a sense of his own barrenness, as well as with the ful 
 ness and freeness of divine grace. 
 
 " Lord s (fay, February 16. [Forks of Delaware,! Knowing that 
 numbers of the Indians in these parts were obstinately set against 
 Christianity, and that some of them had refused to hear me preach i;i 
 times past, I thought it might be proper and beneficial to the Christian in 
 terest here, to have a number of my religious people from Crossweeksung 
 with me to converse with them about religious matters; hoping it might be a 
 means to convince them of the truth and importance of Christianity, to see 
 and hear some of their own nation discoursing of divine things, and mani 
 festing earnest desires that others might be brought out of heathenish dark- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD 219 
 
 ness as themselves were. For this purpose I selected half a dozen of the 
 most serious and intelligent of those Indians, and having brought them to 
 the Forks of Delaware, I this day met with them and the Indians of this 
 place. Numbers of the latter probably could not have been prevailed 
 upon to attend this meeting, had it not been for these religious Indians, 
 who accompanied me hither, and preached to them. Some of those who 
 had in times past been extremely averse to Christianity, now behaved 
 soberly, and some others laughed and mocked. However the word of 
 God fell with such weight and power that numbers seemed to be stunned, 
 and expressed a willingness to hear me again of these matters. 
 
 "Afterwards prayed with and made an address to the white people 
 present, and could not but observe some visible effects of the word, such 
 as tears and sobs among them. After public worship, spent some time, 
 and took pains to convince those that mocked of the truth and impor 
 tance of what I had been insisting upon ; and so endeavored to awaken 
 their attention to divine truths. Had reason to think from what I ob 
 served then and afterwards, that my endeavors took considerable ef 
 fect upon one of the worst of them. Those few Indians then present, 
 who used to be my hearers in these parts, some having removed 
 hence to Crossweeksung, seemed somewhat kindly disposed toward me, 
 and glad to see me again. They had been so much attacked, however 
 by some of the opposing Pagans, that they were almost ashamed or 
 afraid to manifest their friendship. 
 
 " Feb. 17. After having spent much time in discoursing to the In 
 dians in their respective houses, I got them together and repeated and 
 inculcated -,vhat I had before taught them. Afterwards discoursed to 
 them from Acts viii. 5-8. A divine influence seemed to attend the word. 
 Several of the Indians here appeared to be somewhat awakened, and mani 
 fested earnest tears and sobs. My people of Crossweeksung continued 
 with them day and night repeating and inculcating the truths I had taught 
 them, and sometimes prayed and sung psalms among them ; discoursing 
 with each other in their hearing of the great things God had done for 
 them and for the Indians from whence they came. This seemed, as my 
 people told me, to have more effect upon them, than when they directed 
 their discourse immediately to them. I was refreshed and encouraged, 
 and found a spirit of prayer in the evening, and earnest longings for the 
 illumination and conversion of these poor Indians. 
 
 " Feb. 18. Preached to an assembly of Irish people, nearly fifteen 
 miles distant from the Indians. Feb. 19. Preached to the Indians again, 
 after having spent considerable time in conversing with them more pri 
 vately. There appeared a great solemnity and some concern and affection 
 among the Indians belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melting 
 among those who came with me. Numbers of the Indians here seemed 
 
220 MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 to have their prejudices and aversion to Christianity removed; and ap 
 peared well disposed and inclined to hear the word of God. My heart 
 was comforted and refreshed, and my soul filled with longings for the 
 conversion of these poor Indians. 
 
 " Feb. 20. Preached to a small assembly of High Dutch people who 
 had seldom heard the gospel preached, and were some of them at least 
 very ignorant ; but numbers of them have lately been put upon an inquiry 
 after the way of salvation with thoughtfulness. They gave wonderful at 
 tention ; and some of them were much affected under the word, and after 
 wards said, as I was informed, that they never had been so much en 
 lightened about the way of salvation in their whole lives before. They 
 requested me to tarry with them, or come again and preach to them. It 
 grieved me that I could not comply with their request. I could not but 
 be affected with their circumstances ; for they were as sheep not hav 
 ing a shepherd, and some of them appeared under some degree of dis 
 tress for sin ; standing in peculiar need of the assistance of an experienced 
 spiritual guide. God was pleased to support and refresh my spirits by 
 affording me assistance this day, and so hopeful a prospect of success. I 
 returned home rejoicing and blessing the name of the Lord ; found free 
 dom and sweetness afterward in secret prayer and had my soul drawn 
 out for dear friends. Oh how blessed a thing it is to labor for God 
 faithfully and with encouragement of-success ! Blessed be the Lord for 
 ever and ever for the assistance and comfort granted this day ! 
 
 "Feb. 21. Preached to a number of people, many of them Low Dutch. 
 Several of the fore-mentioned High Dutch people attended the sermon, 
 though eight or ten miles distant from their houses. Numbers of the 
 Indians also, belonging to these parts, came of their own accord with my 
 people from Crossweeksung, to the meeting. There were two in particu 
 lar, who though the last Sabbath they opposed and ridiculed Christian 
 ity, now behaved soberly. My soul was refreshed and comforted ; and I 
 could not but bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to 
 be faithful the day past. Oh how sweet it is to be spent and worn out 
 for God. 
 
 " Feb. 22. Preached to the Indians. They appeared more free from 
 prejudice and more cordial to Christianity than before ; and some of 
 them appeared affected with divine truths. My spirits were much sup 
 ported though my bodily strength was much wasted. Oh that God would 
 be gracious to the souls of these poor Indians ! God has been very 
 gracious to me this week. He has enabled me to preach every day; an.l 
 has given me some assistance and encouraging prospect of success in 
 almost every sermon. Blessed be his name ! Several of the white peo 
 ple have been awakened this week ; and numbers of the Indians much 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 221 
 
 cured of prejudices and jealousies which they had conceived against 
 Christianity, and seem to be really awakened. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. 23. Preached to the Indians from John vi. 35-37. 
 After public service discoursed particularly with several of them, and 
 invited them to go down to Crossweeksung, and tarry there at least for 
 some time ; knowing that they would then be free from the scoffs and 
 temptations of the opposing Pagans, as well as in the way of hearing 
 divine truths discoursed of both in public and private. Obtained a 
 promise of some of them that they would speedily pay us a visit, and at 
 tend some farther instructions. They seemed to be considerably en 
 lightened, and much freed from their prejudices against Christianity. 
 But it is much to be feared that their prejudices will revive again, unless 
 they can enjoy the means of instruction here, or be removed when they 
 may be under such advantages, and out of the way of their pagan ac 
 quaintances." 
 
 The next day Brainerd left the Forks of the Delaware^ to 
 return to Crossweeksung, and spent the whole week till Sat 
 urday in his journey. He preached on the way every day 
 except one ; and was several times greatly assisted, and had 
 much inward comfort and earnest longings to fill up all his 
 time in the service of God. He utters such expressions as 
 these after preaching : " Oh that I may be enabled to plead 
 the cause of God faithfully to my dying moment ! Oh how 
 sweet it would be to spend myself wholly for God and his 
 cause, and to be freed from selfish motives in my labors! " 
 
 44 March. I. [At Crossweeksung,] Catechised in my ordinary method. 
 Was pleased and refreshed to see them answer the questions proposed to 
 them with such remarkable readiness, discretion, and knowledge. Toward 
 the close of my discourse divine truths made considerable impressions upon 
 the audience, and produced tears and sobs in some under concern ; and 
 more especially a sweet and humble melting in several, who I have rea 
 son to hope were truly gracious. 
 
 44 Lord s day, March 2. Preached from John xv. 16. The assembly 
 appeared not so lively in their attention as usual, nor so much affected 
 with divine truths in general as has been common. Some of my people 
 who went up to the Forks of Delaware with me, being now returned, 
 were accompanied by two of the Indians belonging to the Forks, who 
 had promised me a speedy visit. May the Lord meet with them here. 
 They can scarcely go into a house now but they will meet with Christ- 
 tain conversation, whereby it is to be hoped they may be both instructed 
 and awakened. 
 
222 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 " Discoursed to the Indians again in the afternoon, and observed 
 among them some animation and engagedness in divine service, though 
 not equal to what has often appeared here. I know of no assembly of 
 Christians, where there seems to be so much of the presence of God, 
 where brotherly love so much prevails, and where I should take so much 
 delight in the public worship of God in general, as in my own congrega 
 tion ; although not more than nine months ago they were worshipping 
 devils and dumb idols under the power of pagan darkness and super 
 stition. Amazing change this ! effected by nothing less than divine 
 power and grace. This is the doing of the Lord, and it is justly marvel 
 lous in our eyes." 
 
 The next four days were spent in great bodily weakness, 
 but he speaks of some seasons of considerable inward com 
 fort. 
 
 " March 5. Spent some time just at evening in prayer, singing, and 
 discoursing to my people upon divine things ; and observed some agree 
 able tenderness and affection among them. Their present situation is so 
 compact and commodious, that they are easily and quickly called to 
 gether with only the sound of a conkshell, (a shell like that of a peri 
 winkle), so that they have frequent opportunities of attending religious 
 exercises publicly. This seems to be a great means, under God, of keep 
 ing alive the impressions of divine things in their minds. 
 
 " March 6. I walked alone in the evening, and enjoyed sweetness 
 and comfort in prayer beyond what I have of late enjoyed. My soul re 
 joiced in my pilgrim state; and I was delighted with the thoughts of 
 laboring and enduring hardness for God; felt some longing desires to 
 preach the gospel to dear immortal souls; and confided in God, that he 
 would be with me in my work, and that he never would leave nor for 
 sake me to the end of my race. Oh ! may I obtain mercy of God to be 
 faithful to my dying moment. March 7. In the afternoon went on with 
 my work with freedom and cheerfulness, God assisted me, and enjoyed 
 comfort in the evening. 
 
 " March 8. Catechised in the evening. My people answered the 
 questions proposed to them well. I can perceive their knowledge in re 
 ligion increases daily. And what is still more desirable, the divine in 
 fluence which has been so remarkable among them; appears still to con 
 tinue in some good measure. The divine presence seemed to be in the 
 assembly this evening. Some who I have good reason to think are 
 Christians indeed, were melted with a sense of divine goodness, and 
 their own barrenness and ingratitude, and seemed to hate themselves, 
 ?.s one of them afterwards expressed it. Convictions also appeared to 
 be revived in several instance^ ; and divine truths were attended with 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 2 2 3 
 
 such influence upon the assembly in general, that it might justly be 
 called an evening of divine power. 
 
 " Lord s day, March 9. Preached from Luke x. 38-42. The word 
 of God was attended with power and energy upon the audience. Num 
 bers were affected, and concerned to obtain the one thing needful. 
 Several who have given good evidence of being truly gracious, were 
 much affected with a want of spirituality, and saw the need they stood in 
 of growing in grace. The greater part of those who had been under any 
 impressions of divine things in times past, seemed now to have those im 
 pressions revived. In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in my 
 usual method. But while we were engaged in the first prayer in the 
 Indian language, as usual, a great part of the assembly was so much 
 moved and affected with divine things, that I thought it seasonable and 
 proper to omit the proposing of questions for that time, and to insist 
 upon the most practical truths. I accordingly did so ; making a further 
 improvement of the passage of Scripture on which I had discoursed in 
 the former part of the day. There appeared to be a powerful divine in 
 fluence in the congregation. Several who, as I have reason to think, are 
 truly pious, were so deeply affected with a sense of their own barrenness 
 and their unworthy treatment of the blessed Redeemer, that they looked 
 on him as pierced by themselves, and mourned, yea, some of them were 
 in bitterness as for a firstborn. Some awakened sinners also appeared to 
 be in anguish of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; so that there was a 
 great mourning in the assembly; many heavy groans, sobs, and tears! 
 and one or two newly come among us, were considerably awakened. 
 
 "March 10. Towards night the Indians met together, of their own 
 accord, and sang, prayed, and discoursed of divine things among them 
 selves; at which time there was much affection among them. Some who 
 are hopefully gracious, appeared to be melted with divine things ; and 
 some others seemed much concerned for their souls. Perceiving their 
 engagement and affection in religious exercises, I went among them, and 
 prayed, and gave a word of exhortation ; and observed two or three some 
 what affected and concerned, who scarce ever appeared to be under any 
 religious impressions before. It seemed to be a day and evening of 
 divine power. Numbers retained the warm impressions of divine things 
 which had been made upon their minds the day before. 
 
 " My soul was refreshed with freedom and enlargement, and I hope 
 the lively exercise of faith in secret prayer this night. My will was 
 sweetly resigned to the divine will ; my hopes respecting the enlargement 
 of the kingdom of Christ somewhat raised ; and I could commit Zion s 
 cause to God as his own." 
 
 On Tuesday he speaks of some sweetness and spirituality 
 
224 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 in Christian conversation. On Wednesday, complains that 
 he enjoyed not much comfort and satisfaction through the 
 day, because he did but little for God. On Thursday, spent 
 a considerable time in company on a special occasion, but in 
 perplexity, because without salutary religious conversation. 
 
 " March 14. Was visited by a considerable number of my people and 
 spent sometime in religious exercises with them. March 15. In the 
 evening catechised. My people answered the questions put to them with 
 surprising readiness and judgment, There appeared some warmth, and 
 a feeling sense of divine things among those who I have reason to hope 
 are real Christians, while I was discoursing upon peace of conscience 
 and joy in the Holy Ghost. These seemed quickened and enlivened in 
 divine service, though there was not so much appearance of concern 
 among those whom I have reason to think in a Christless state." 
 
 In the former part of the week following he was very ill, 
 and under great dejection ; being rendered unserviceable by 
 his illness, and fearing that he should never be serviceable 
 any more ; and therefore exceedingly longed for death. But 
 afterwards he was more encouraged, and life appeared more 
 desirable ; because, as he says, he " had a little dawn of hope 
 that he might be useful in the world." In the latter part of 
 this week he was somewhat relieved of his illness in the use 
 of means prescribed by his physician. 
 
 " Lord s day, March 1 6. Preached to my congregation from Heb. ii 
 1-3. Divine truths seemed to have some considerable influence upon 
 some of the hearers, and produced many tears, as well as heavy sighs and 
 sobs, among those who have given evidence of being real Christians, and 
 others also. The impressions made upon the audience appeared in 
 general deep and heart-affecting ; not superficial, noisy, and affected. 
 Towards night discoursed again on the Great Salvation. The word was 
 again attended with some power upon the audience. Numbers wept 
 affectionately, and to appearance, unfeignedly ; so that the Spirit of God 
 seemed to be moving upon the face of the assembly. Baptized the 
 woman particularly mentioned in my journal of last Lord s day, who now 
 as well as then appeared to be in a devout, humble, and excellent frame 
 of mind. My house being thronged with my people in the evening, I 
 spent the time in religious exercises with them, until my nature was 
 almost spent. They are so unwearied in religious exercises, and insatiable 
 in their thirsting after Christian knowledge, that I can sometimes scarcely 
 avoid laboring so as greatly to exhaust my strength and spirits. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 225 
 
 " March 19. Several of the persons who went with me to the Forks 
 of Delaware in February last, having been detained there by the danger 
 ous illness of one of their company, returned home this day. Whereupon 
 my people generally met together of their own accord, in order to spend 
 some time in religious exercises ; and especially to give thanks to God for 
 his preserving goodness to those who had been absent from them for 
 several weeks, and recovering mercy to him who had been sick ; and that 
 he had now returned them all in safety. As I was then absent, they 
 desired my schoolmaster to assist them in carrying on their religious 
 solemnity ; who tells me that they appeared engaged and affectionate in 
 repeated prayer, singing, etc. 
 
 "March 22. Catechised in my usual method in the evening. My 
 people answered questions to my great satisfaction. There appeared 
 nothing very remarkable in the assembly, considering what has been 
 common among us. Although I may justly say, the strict attention, the 
 tenderness and affection, the many tears and heart-affecting sobs, appear 
 ing in numbers in the assembly would have been very remarkable, were 
 it not that God has made these things common with us, and even with 
 strangers soon after their coming among us from time to time. I am far 
 from thinking that every appearance and particular instance of affection 
 that has been among us has been truly genuine, and purely from a divine 
 influence. I am sensible of the contrary; and doubt not but that there 
 has been some corrupt mixture, some chaff as well as wheat ; especially 
 since religious concern appeared so common and prevalent here. 
 
 t( LorcTs Jay, March 23. There being about fifteen strangers, adult 
 persons, come among us in the week past, several of whom had never 
 been in any religious meeting till now, I thought it proper to discourse 
 this day in a manner peculiarly suited to their circumstances and capaci 
 ties ; and accordingly attempted it from Hosea xiii. 9. O Israel, thou 
 hast destroyed thyself. In the forenoon, I opened in the plainest manner 
 I could, man s apostasy and ruined state, after having spoken some 
 things respecting the being and perfections of God, and his creation of 
 man in a state of uprightness and happiness. In the afternoon endeavored 
 to open the glorious provision which God has made for the redemption 
 of apostate creatures, by giving his own dear Son to suffer for them, and 
 satisfy divine justice on their behalf. There was not that affection and 
 concern in the assembly which has been common among us ; although 
 there was a desirable attention appearing in general, and even irt most of 
 the strangers. 
 
 " Near sunset I felt an uncommon concern upon my mind, especially 
 for the poor strangers, that God had so much withheld his presence and 
 the powerful influence of his Spirit from the assembly in the exercises of 
 the day; and thereby withheld from them that degree of conviction which 
 
226 MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 I hoped they might have had. In this frame I visited several houses and 
 discoursed with some concern and affection to several persons particu 
 larly; but without much appearance of success, till I came to a house 
 where several of the strangers were. There the solemn truths on which 
 I discoursed appeared to take effect ; first upon some children, then upon 
 several adult persons who had been somewhat awakened before, and 
 afterwards upon several of the pagan strangers. 
 
 " I continued my discourse with some fervency, until almost every one 
 in the house was melted into tears, and divers wept aloud, and appeared 
 earnestly concerned to obtain an interest in Christ. Upon this numbers 
 soon gathered from all the houses round about, and so thronged the place 
 that we were obliged to remove to the house where we usually met for 
 public worship. The congregation gathering immediately, and many 
 appearing remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from Luke xix. 10. 
 For the Son of man is come to seek, etc. endeavoring to open the mercy, 
 compassion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, and undone sinners. 
 There was much visible concern and affection in the assembly, and I 
 doubt not but that a divine influence accompanied what was spoken to the 
 hearts of many. There were five or six of the strangers, men and women, 
 who appeared to be considerably awakened; and in particular one very 
 rugged young man, who seemed as if nothing would move him, was now 
 brought to tremble like the jailer, and weep for a long time. 
 
 " The pagans who were awakened, seemed at once to put off their 
 savage roughness and pagan manners, and became sociable, orderly, and 
 humane in their carriage. When they first came, I exhorted my religious 
 people to take pains with them as they had done with other strangers 
 from time to time, to instruct them in Christianity. But when some of 
 them attempted something of that nature, the strangers would soon rise 
 up and walk to other houses in order to avoid the hearing of such dis 
 courses. Whereupon some of the serious persons agreed to disperse 
 themselves into the several parts of the settlement, so that wherever the 
 strangers went, they met with some instructive discourse and warm 
 addresses respecting their salvation. But now there was no need of using 
 policy in order to get an opportunity of conversing with some of them 
 about their spiritual concerns ; for they were so far touched with a sense 
 of their perishing state, as made them voluntarily yield to the closest 
 addresses which were made them respecting their sin and misery, their 
 need of an acquaintance with, and interest in the great Redeemer. 
 
 "March 24. Numbered the Indians to see how many souls God had 
 gathered together here since my coming into these parts, and found there 
 were now about 130 persons together, old and young. Sundry of those 
 who are my stated hearers, perhaps to the number of 15 or 20 were absent 
 at this season. If all had been together, the number would now have 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 227 
 
 been very considerable ; especially considering how few were together at 
 my first coming into this part of the country, the whole number then not 
 amounting to ten persons. 
 
 " My people were out this clay with the design of clearing some of 
 their land, above fifteen miles distant from this settlement, in order to 
 their settling there in a compact form, where they might be under the 
 advantages of attending the public worship of God, of having their 
 children taught in a school, and at the same time have a conveniency for 
 planting; their land in the place of our present residence being of little 
 or no value for that purpose. The design of their settling thus in a body, 
 and cultivating their lands, of which they have done very little in their 
 pagan state, being of such necessity and importance to their religious 
 interest, as well as worldly comfort, I thought it proper to call them to 
 gether, and show them the duty of laboring with faithfulness and industry, 
 and that they must not now * be slothful in business, as they had ever 
 been in their pagan state. I endeavored to press the importance of their 
 being laborious, diligent, and vigorous in the prosecution of their busi 
 ness ; especially at the present juncture, the season of planting being now 
 near, in order to their being in a capacity of living together, and enjoying 
 the means of grace and instruction. Having given them directions for 
 their work, which they very much wanted, as well as for their behavior 
 in divers respects, I explained, sang, and endeavored to inculcate upon 
 them the cxxviith Psalm, common metre, Dr. Watts version; and having 
 recommended them, and the design of their going forth, to God, by 
 prayer with them, I dismissed them to their business. 
 
 " After the Indians were gone to their work, to clear their lands, I re 
 tired by myself, and poured out my soul to God, that he would smile on 
 their feeble beginnings, and that he would settle an Indian town , which 
 might be a mountain of holiness. I found my soul much refreshed in 
 these petitions, and much enlarged for Zion s interest, and for numbers 
 of dear friends in particular. My sinking spirits were revived and raised ; 
 and I felt animated in the service to which God has called me. This 
 was the dearest hour I have enjoyed for many days, if not weeks. I found 
 an encouraging hope that something would be done for God ; and that 
 God would use and help me in his work. O how sweet were the thoughts 
 of laboring for God, when I fell any spirit and courage, and had any hope 
 that I ever should be succeeded. 
 
 " In the evening read and expounded to those of my people who were 
 yet at home, and to the strangers newly come, the substance of the third 
 chapter of the Acts. Numbers seemed to melt under the word; especi 
 ally while I was discoursing upon ver, 19. * Repent ye, therefore, and 
 be converted, etc. Several of the strangers also were affected. When 
 I asked them afterwards : Whether they did not now feel that theii 
 
223 MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 
 
 hearts were wicked as I had taught them ; one of them replied, Yes, 
 she felt it now. Although before she came here, upon hearing that I 
 taught the Indians that their hearts were all bad by nature, and needed to 
 be changed and made good by the power of God ; she had said, Her 
 heart was not wicked, and she had never done anything that was bad in 
 her life. This, indeed, seems to be the case with them, I think, univer 
 sally, in their pagan state. They seem to have no consciousness of sin 
 and guilt, unless they can charge themselves with some gross acts of sin 
 contrary to the commands of the second table." 
 
 The next day his schoolmaster was taken sick and he 
 spent a great part of the remainder of this week in attending 
 him. In his weak state, this was an almost overbearing 
 burden ; he being obliged constantly to wait upon him from 
 day to day, and to lie on the floor at night. His spirits sunk 
 in a considerable degree, with his bodily strength, under this 
 burden. 
 
 " March 27. Discoursed to a number of my people in one of their 
 houses in a more private manner. Inquired particularly into their spiri 
 tual states, in order to see what impressions they were under. Laid be 
 fore them the marks of a regenerate, as well as of an unregenerate state ; 
 and endeavored to suit and direct my discourse to them severally, accord 
 ing as I apprehended their states to be. There was a considerable num 
 ber gathered together before I finished my discourse, and several seemed 
 much affected while I was urging the necessity and infinite importance of 
 getting into a renewed state. I find particular and close dealing with 
 souls in private, is often very successful. 
 
 " March 29. In the evening catechised as usual upon Saturday. 
 Treated upon the benefits which believers receive from Christ at death. 
 The questions were answered with great readiness and propriety ; and 
 those who I have reason to think, are the dear people of God, were in 
 general sweetly melted. There appeared such a liveliness and vigor in 
 their attendance upon the word of God, and such eagerness to be made par 
 takers of the benefits mentioned, that they seemed not only to be look 
 ing for, but hasting to the coming of the day of God. Divine truths 
 seemed to distil upon the audience with a gentle, but melting efficacy, as 
 the refreshing showers upon the new mown grass. The assembly, in 
 general, as well as those who appear truly religious, were affected with 
 some brief accounts of the blessedness of the godly at death ; and most 
 of them then discovered an affectionate inclination to cry. Let me die 
 the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his; although 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 229 
 
 many were not duly engaged to obtain the change of heart that is neces 
 sary to that blessed end. 
 
 "Lord s day, Afar ch 30. Discoursed from Matt. xxv. 31-40. There 
 was a very considerable moving, and affectionate melting in the assem 
 bly. I hope that there were some real, deep, and abiding impres 
 sions of divine things made upon the minds of many. There was one 
 aged man, newly come among us, who appeared to be considerally 
 awakened, that never was touched with any concern for his soul before. 
 In the evening, catechised. There was not that tenderness and melting 
 engagement among God s people, which appeared the evening before, and 
 many other times. They answered the questions distinctly and well, and 
 were devout and attentive in divine service. 
 
 "March 31. Called my people together as I had done the Monday 
 evening before, and discoursed to them again on the necessity and im 
 portance of laboring industriously in order to their living together, and 
 enjoying the means of grace, etc. Having engaged in a solemn prayer to 
 God among them for a blessing upon their attempts, I dismissed them to 
 their work. Numbers of them both men and women, seemed to offer 
 themselves willingly to this service ; and some appeared affectionately 
 concerned that God might go with them, and begin their little town for 
 them ; that by his blessing it might be a place comfortable for them and 
 theirs, with regard both to procuring the necessaries of life, and to 
 attending on the worship of God. Towards night, I enjoyed some sweet 
 meditations on these words : It is good for me to draw near to God. 
 My soul, I think, had some sweet sense of what is intended in those 
 words." 
 
 The next day he was extremely busy in taking care of the 
 schoolmaster and in some other necessary affairs, which 
 greatly diverted him from what he looked upon as his proper 
 business ; but yet he speaks of comfort and refreshment at 
 some time of the day. 
 
 " April 2. I was somewhat exercised with a spiritual frame of mind ; 
 but was a little relieved and refreshed in the evening with meditation 
 alone in the woods. But alas ! my days pass away as the chaff ; it is 
 but little I do, or can do, that turns to any account; and it is my constant 
 misery and burden, that I am so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. 
 Oh that I were a pure spirit ; that I might be active for God ! This I 
 think more than anything else, makes me long that this corruptible might 
 put on incorruption, and this mortal put on immortality. God deliver 
 me from clogs, fetters, and a body of death, which impede my service 
 from him." 
 
230 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 " April 4. Spent the most of the day in writing on Revelation xxii. 
 17. And whose vet will, etc. Enjoyed some freedom and encourage 
 ment in my work ; and found some comfort in prayer. April 5. 
 4 Catechised in the evening. There appeared to be some affection and 
 fervent engagement in divine service through the assembly in general ; 
 especially towards the conclusion of my discourse. After public worship, 
 a number of those, who I have reason to think, are truly religious, came 
 to my house, and seemed eager for some further entertainment upon 
 divine things. While I was conversing with them about their scriptural 
 exercises; observing to them, that God s work in the hearts of all his 
 children, was for substance the same ; and that their trials and tempta 
 tions were also alike ; and showing the obligations such were under to 
 love one another in a peculiar manner; they seemed to be melted into 
 tenderness and affection towards each other, I thought that that particu 
 lar token of their being the disciples of Christ, viz. of their having love 
 one towards another, had scarcely ever appeared more evident than at 
 this time. After public worship, a number of my dear Christian Indians 
 came to my house ; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul. My heart was 
 knit to them; and I cannot say I have felt such a sweet and fervent love 
 to the brethren, for some time past. I saw in them appearances of the 
 same love. This gave me somewhat of a view of the heavenly state ; and 
 particularly of that part of the happiness of heaven which consists in the 
 communion of saints ; and this was affecting to me. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 6. Preached from Matt. vii. 21-23, Not every 
 one that saith into me, Lord, Lord, etc. There were considerable effects 
 of the word visible in the audience, and such as were very desirable ; 
 an earnest attention, a great solemnity, many tears and heavy sighs, which 
 were modestly suppressed in a considerable measure, and appeared un 
 affected and without any indecent commotion of the passions. Numbers of 
 the religious people were put upon serious and close examination of their 
 spiritual state, bv hearing that not every one that saith to Christ, Lord, 
 Lord, shall enter into his kingdom. Some expressed fears lest they had 
 deceived themselves, and taken up a false hope, because they found they 
 had done so little of the will of his Father who is in heaven. 
 
 " There was one man brought under very great and pressing concern 
 for his soul ; which appeared more especially after his retirement from 
 public worship. That, which he says gave him his great uneasiness, was 
 not so much any particular sin, as that he had never done the will of God 
 at all, but had sinned continually, and so had no claim to the kingdom of 
 Heaven. In the afternoon, I opened to them the discipline of Christ, in 
 his Church, and the method in which offenders are to be dealt with. At 
 which time the religious people were much affected; especially when they 
 heard that the offender continuing obstinate, must finally be esteemed and 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAIKEKD. 
 
 231 
 
 treated as a heathen man, and pagan, who has no part nor lot among 
 God s visible people. Of this they seemed to have the most awful ap 
 prehensions ; a state of heathenism, out of which they were so lately 
 brought, appearing very dreadful to them. After public worship, I visited 
 several houses, to see how they spent the remainder of the Sabbath, and 
 to treat with them solemnly on the great concerns of their souls. The 
 Lord seemed to smile upon my private endeavors, and to make these 
 particular and personal addresses more effectual upon some than my 
 public discourses. 
 
 " April 7. Discoursed to my people in the evening, from I Cor. xi. 23 
 -26. For I have received of the Lord/ etc. Endeavored to open to 
 them the institution, nature and ends of the Lord s Supper, as well as of 
 the qualifications and preparations necessary to the right participations of 
 that ordinance. Numbers appeared much affected with the love of 
 Christ, manifested in his making this provision for the comfort of his 
 people, at a season when himself was just entering upon his sharpest suf 
 ferings." 
 
 On Tuesday he went to the meeting of the Presbytery ap 
 pointed at Elizabethtown. In his way thither he enjoyed 
 some sweet meditations. But after he came there, he was, 
 as he expresses it, " very vapory and melancholy, and under 
 an awful gloom which oppressed his mind." This continued 
 until Saturday evening; when he began to have some relief 
 and encouragement. He spent the Sabbath at Staten Island ; 
 where he preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and 
 enjoyed considerable refreshment and comfort, both in public 
 and private. In the evening he returned to Elizabethtown. 
 
 " April 14. My spirits this day were raised and refreshed, and my 
 mind composed ; so that I was in a comfortable frame of soul most of 
 the day. In the evening, my head was clear, my mind serene; I enjoyed 
 sweetness in secret prayer and meditation on Psalm Ixxiii. 28. But it is 
 good for me to draw near to God, etc. O how free, how comfortable, 
 cheerful, and yet solemn, do I feel when I am in a good measure freed 
 from those damps and melancholy glooms under which I often labor. 
 Blessed be the Lord, I find myself relieved in this respect. 
 
 " April 15. My soul longed for more spirituality; and it was my bur 
 den that I could clo no more for God. O, my barrenness in my daily af 
 fliction and heavy load ! O how precious is time, and how it pains me to 
 see it slide away, while I do so little to any good purpose. O that God 
 would make me more fruitful and spiritual. 
 
2 3 2 MEMOIRS OF BR 
 
 " April 17. Enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom in medi 
 tation, and composure in my studies. Spent some time in writing in 
 the forenoon. In the afternoon spent some time in conversation with 
 several dear ministers. In the evening preached from Psalm Ixxiii. 28. 
 4 But it is good for me to draw near to God. God helped me to feel the 
 truths of my texts both in the first prayer and in the sermon. I was en 
 abled to pour out my soul to God with great freedom, fervency and affec 
 tion ; and, blessed be the Lord, it was a comfortable season to me. I was 
 enabled to speak with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness: and divine 
 truths seemed to fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. My 
 heart was melted for the dear assembly ; and I loved everybody in it ; 
 and scarcely ever felt more love to immortal souls in my life. My soul 
 cried, O that the dear creatures might be saved ! O that God would 
 have mercy upon them ! 
 
 " Lord s day, April 20. Discoursed, both forenoon and afternoon from 
 Luke xxiv. explaining most of the chapter, and making remarks upon it. 
 There was a desirable attention in the audience ; though there was not 
 so much appearance of affection and tenderness among them as had been 
 usual. Our meeting was very full ; there being sundry strangers present 
 who had never been with us before. Enjoyed some freedom, and, I hope, 
 exercise of faith, in prayer in the morning, especially when I came to pray 
 for Zion. I was free from that gloomy discouragement which so often 
 oppresses my mind ; and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion s pros 
 perity, and the enlargement of the dear kingdom of the great Redeemer. 
 
 that his kingdom might come ! 
 
 "In the evening catechised. My people answered the questions pro 
 posed to them readily and distinctly; and I could perceive that they ad 
 vanced in their knowledge of the principles of Christianity. There ap 
 peared an affectionate melting in the assembly at this time. Several, who 
 
 1 trust are truly religious, were refreshed and quickened, and seemed by 
 their discourse and behavior after public worship to have their * hearts 
 knit together in love. This was a sweet and blessed season, like many 
 others with which my poor people have been favored in months past. 
 God has caused this little fleece to be repeatedly wet with the blessed dew 
 of his divine grace, while all the earth around has been comparatively 
 dry. 
 
 " April 21. Was composed and comfortable in mind most of the day 
 and was mercifully freed from those gloomy damps with which I am fre 
 quently exercised. Had freedom and comfort in prayer several times ; 
 and especially had some rising hopes of Zion s enlargement and pros 
 perity. Oh, how refreshing were those hopes to my soul ! Oh, that the 
 kingdom of the dear Lord might come. Oh, that the poor Indians might 
 quickly be gathered in great numbers ! 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRALVERD. 233 
 
 "April 22. My mind was remarkably free this day from melancholy 
 damps and glooms, and animated in my work. I found such fresh vigor 
 and resolution in the service of God, that the mountains seemed to be 
 come a plain before me. O blessed be God, for an interval of refresh 
 ment and fervent resolution in my Lord s work! In the evening, my soul 
 was refreshed in secret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine bless 
 ings ; especially for the church of God, and his interest among my own 
 people, and for dear friends in remote places. Oh, that Zion might pros 
 per, and precious souls be brought home to God ! 
 
 "April 25. Of late I apprehended that a number of persons in 
 my congregation were proper subjects of the ordinance of the Lord s 
 supper, and that it might be seasonable speedily to administer it to them ; 
 and having taken advice of some of the reverend correspondents in this 
 solemn affair, I accordingly proposed and appointed the next Lord s day, 
 with leave of divine providence, for the administration of this ordinance ; 
 and this day, as preparatory thereto, was set apart for solemn fasting and 
 prayer. The design of this preparatory solemnity was to implore the 
 blessing of God upon our renewing covenant with him, and with one 
 another, to walk together in the fear of God, in love and Christian fel 
 lowship, and toentreat that his presence might be with us in our designed 
 approach to his table ; as well as to humble ourselves before God on ac 
 count of the apparent withdrawment, at least in a measure, of that 
 blessed influence which has been so prevalent upon persons of all ages 
 among us ; as also on account of the rising appearance of carelessness, 
 and vanity, and vice among some, who some time since appeared to be 
 touched and affected with divine truths, and brought to some sensibility 
 of their miserable and perishing state by nature. It was also designed 
 that we might importunately pray for the peaceable settlement of the 
 Indians together in a body ; that they might be a commodious congrega 
 tion for the worship of God ; and that God would blast and defeat all 
 the attempts that were, or might be, made against that pious design.* 
 
 " The solemnity was observed and seriously attended, not only by 
 those who proposed at the Lord s table, but by the whole congregation 
 universally. In the former part of the day, I endeavored to open to my 
 people the nature and design of a fast, as I had attempted more briefly 
 to do before, and to instruct them in the duties of such a solemnity. In 
 the afternoon I insisted upon the special reasons there were for our en 
 gaging in these solemn exercises at this time ; both in regard of the need 
 
 "* There was at this time a terrible clamor raised against the Indians in various places 
 in the country, and insinuations as though T was training them up to cut people s throats. 
 Numbers wished to have them banished from these parts, and some gave out great words 
 in order to fright and deter them from settling upon the best and most convenient tract of 
 their own lands ; threatening to trouble them in the law ; pretending a claim to these 
 lands themselves, although never purchased of the Indians." 
 
234 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 we stood in of divine assistance, in order to a due preparation for that 
 sacred ordinance upon which some of us were proposing, with leave of 
 divine providence speedily to attend ; and also in respect of the manifest 
 decline of God s work here, as to the effectual conviction and conver 
 sion of sinners ; there having been few of late deeply awakened out of a 
 state of security. The worship of God was attended with great solemnity 
 and reverence, with much tenderness and many tears, by those who ap 
 peared to be truly religious ; and there was some appearance of divine 
 power upon those who had been awakened some time before, and who 
 were still under concern. 
 
 " After repeated prayer, and attendance upon the word of God, I pro 
 posed to the religious people, with as much brevity and plainness as I 
 could, the substance of the doctrine of the Christian faith, as I had for 
 merly done previous to their baptism; and had their renewed cheerful as 
 sent to it. I then led them to a solemn renewal of their baptismal covenant; 
 wherein they had explicitly and publicly given up themselves to God the 
 Father, Son and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God; and at the 
 same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, their idolatrous and 
 superstitious practices ; solemnly engaging to take the Word of God, so 
 far as it was or might be made known to them, for the rule of their lives; 
 promising to walk together in love, to watch over themselves and one 
 another, to lead lives of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge the 
 relative duties incumbent on them respectively, etc. This solemn trans 
 action was attended with much gravity and seriousness ; and at the 
 same time with the utmost readiness, freedom and cheerfulness ; and a 
 religious union and harmony of soul seemed to crown the whole solemnity. 
 I could not but think in the evening, that there had been manifest tokens 
 of the divine presence with us in all the several services of the day; 
 though it was also manifest that there was not that concern among Christ- 
 less souls which has often appeared there. 
 
 " April 26. Toward noon prayed with a dying child, and gave a word 
 of exhortation to the bystanders, to prepare for death ; which seemed to 
 take effect upon some. In the afternoon discoursed to my people from 
 Matthew xxvi. 26-30, of the author, the nature, and designs of the Lord s 
 supper ; and endeavored to point out the worthy receivers of that ordi 
 nance. The religious people were affected, and even melted with divine 
 truths, with a view of the dying love of Christ. Several others, who 
 had been for some months under conviction of their perishing state, ap 
 peared now to be much moved with concern, and afresh engaged in seek 
 ing after an interest in Christ ; although I cannot say that the word of 
 God appeared so quick and powerful, so sharp and piercing to the assem 
 bly as it had sometimes formerly done. Baptized two adult persons; both 
 serious and exemplary in their lives, and I hope truly religious. One of 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 235 
 
 them was the man particularly mentioned in my journal of the 6th instant ; 
 who, although he was greatly distressed, because he had never done the 
 will of God, has since, it is hoped, obtained spiritual comfort upon good 
 grounds. 
 
 " In the evening I catechised those, who were designed to partake of 
 the Lord s supper the next day, upon the institution, nature and end of 
 that ordinance ; and had abundant satisfaction respecting their doctrinal 
 knowledge and fitness in that respect for an attendance upon it. They 
 likewise appeared in general to have an affecting sense of the solemnity of 
 this sacred ordinance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own un- 
 worthiness to approach to God in it; and to be earnestly concerned that 
 they might be duly prepared for an attendance upon it. Their hearts 
 were full of love, one toward another, and that was the frame of mind which 
 they seemed concerned to maintain and bring to the Lord s table with 
 them. In the singing and prayer after catechising, there appeared an 
 aggreeable tenderness and melting among them ; and such tokens of 
 brotherly love and affection, as would even constrain one to say Lord, it 
 is good to be here ; it is good to dwell where such an heavenly influence 
 distils. 
 
 " Lord s day, April 27. Preached from Tit. ii. 14, Who gave himself 
 for us, etc. The word of God at this time, was attended with some ap 
 pearance of divine power upon the assembly; so that the attention and 
 gravity of the audience were remarkable; and especially towards the con- 
 conclusion of the exercise, divers persons were much affected. Admin 
 istered the sacrament of the Lord s supper to 23 persons of the Indians, 
 the number of the men and women being nearly equal ; several others 
 to the number of five or six. being now absent at the Forks of Delaware, 
 who would otherwise have communed with us. The ordinance was at 
 tended with great solemnity, and with a most desirable tenderness and 
 affection. It was remarkable that in the season of the performance of the 
 sacramental actions, especially in the distribution of the bread, they seemed 
 to be affected in a most lively manner, as if Christ had been really cruci 
 fied before them. The words of the institution, when repeated and en 
 larged upon in the season of the administration, seemed to meet with the 
 same reception, to be entertained with the same free and full belief and af 
 fectionate engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus Christ himself had 
 been present, and had personally spoken to them. The affections of the 
 communicants, although considerably raised, were, notwithstanding, agree 
 ably regulated and kept within proper bounds. So that there was a sweet, 
 gentle, and affectionate melting without any indecent or boisterous com 
 motion of the passions. 
 
 " Having rested sometime after the administration of the sacrament, 
 being extremely tired with the necessary prolixity of the work, I walked 
 
236 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 from house to house, and conversed particularly with most of the com 
 municants, and found they had been almost universally refreshed at the 
 "Lord s table, as with new wine. Never did I see such an appearance of 
 Christian love among any people in all my life. It was so remarkable, 
 that one might well have cried with an agreeable surprise, Behold how 
 they love one another. I think there could be no greater token of mu 
 tual affection among the people of God, in the early days of Christianity, 
 than what now appeared here. The sight was so desirable, and so well 
 becoming the gospel, that nothing less could be said of it than that it was 
 the doing of the Lord, the genuine operation of Him, who is Love. 
 
 " Toward night discoursed again on theforementioned text, Tit. 5i. 14; 
 and insisted on the immediate end and design of Christ s death, viz.: 
 That he might redeem his people from all iniquity etc. This appeared to be 
 a season of divine power among us. The religious people were much re 
 freshed, and seemed remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy, 
 and peace, and desirous of being completely redeemed from all iniquity; 
 so that some of them afterwards told me that they had never felt the like 
 before. Convictions also appeared to be revived in many instances ; and 
 several persons were awakened, whom I had never observed under any 
 religious impressions before. 
 
 "Such was the influence which attended our assembly, and so un 
 speakably desirable the frame of mind which many enjoyed. in divine ser 
 vice, that it seemed almost grievous to conclude the public worship. 
 The congregation, when dismissed, although it was then almost dark, ap 
 peared loath to leave the place and employments which had been rendered 
 so dear to them by the benefits enjoyed, while a blessed quickening in 
 fluence distilled upon them. Upon the whole, I must say, I had great 
 satisfaction relative to the administration of this ordinance in various re 
 spects. I have abundant reason to think, that those who came to the 
 Lord s table had a good degree of doctrinal knowledge of the nature and 
 design of the ordinance, and that they acted with understanding in what 
 they did. 
 
 "This competency of doctrinal knowledge, together with their grave 
 and decent attendance upon the ordinance, their affectionate melting under 
 it, and the sweet and Christian frame of mind which they discovered after 
 it, gave me great satisfaction respecting my administration of it to them. 
 \ what a sweet and blessed season was this ! God himself, I am per 
 suaded, was in the midst of his people, attending on his own ordinance. 
 I doubt not but many, in the conclusion of the day, could say with their 
 whole hearts, Verily, a day thus spent in God s house, is better than a 
 thousand elsewhere. There seemed to be but one heart among the 
 pious people. The sweet union, harmony and endearing love and 
 tenderness subsisting among them was, I thought, the most lively en> 
 blem of the heavenly world, which I had ever seen. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 237 
 
 " April 28. Concluded the sacramental solemnity with a discourse 
 upon John xiv. 15 : If ye love me, keep my commandments. At this 
 time there appeared a very agreeable tenderness in the audience in gen 
 eral, but especially in the communicants. O, how free, how engaged 
 and affectionate did these appear in the service of God ! they seemed 
 willing to have their ears bored to the door posts of God s house, and to 
 be his servants forever. 
 
 " Observing numbers in this excellent frame, and the assembly in 
 general affected, and that by a divine influence, I thought it proper to im 
 prove this advantageous season as Hezekiah did the desirable season of his 
 great passover, 2Chron. xxxi. in order to promote the blessed reformation 
 begun among them ; and to engage those that appeared serious and reli 
 gious to persevere therein. Accordingly I proposed to them, that they 
 should renewedly enter into covenant before God, that they would watch 
 over themselves and one another, lest they should dishonor the name of 
 Christ, by falling into sinful and unbecoming practices ; and especially 
 that they would watch against the sin of drunkenness, ; the sin that most 
 easily besets them, and, the temptations leading thereto, as well as the 
 appearance of evil in that respect. They cheerfully complied with the 
 proposal, and explicitly joined in that covenant ; whereupon I proceeded 
 in the most solemn manner of which I was capable, to call God to wit 
 ness respecting their sacred engagements, and reminded them of the 
 greatness of the guilt they would contract to themselves in the violation 
 of it ; as well as observed to them that God would be a terrible witness 
 against tho ;e who should presume to do so in the great and notable day 
 of the Lord. It was a season of amazing solemnity ; and a divine awe ap 
 peared upon the face of the whole assembly in this transaction. Affec 
 tionate sobs, sighs and tears were now frequent in the audience ; and I 
 doubt not but that many silent cries were then sent up to the Fountain 
 of grace for supplies of grace sufficient for the fulfilment of these solemn 
 engagements. IJaptized six children this day." 
 
 Tuesday, April 29, he went to Elizabethtown to attend 
 the meeting of Presbytery and seemed to spend the time 
 while absent from his people on this occasion, in a free and 
 comfortable state of mind. 
 
 ; AL;y 3. [At Cranberry, N. J.] Rode from Elizabethtown, home to 
 my people near Cranberry ; whither they are now removed, and where I 
 hope God will settle them as a Christian congregation. Was refreshed 
 in lifting up my heart to God, while riding, and enjoyed a thankful 
 frame of spirit for divine favors received the week past. Was somewhat 
 uneasy and dt jected in the evening ; having no house of my own to go 
 to in this place; but G-xl was my support. 
 
238 MEMOIRS OF BK AT NERD. 
 
 " Lord s day. May 4. My people being now removed to their lands, men 
 tioned in my diary, of March 24, where they were then, and have since 
 been making provision for a compact settlement, in order to their more 
 convenient enjoyment of the gospel and other means of instruction, as 
 well as of the comforts of life ; I this day visited them ; being now 
 obliged to board with an English family at some distance from them ; and 
 preached to them in the forenoon from Mark. iv. 5. And some fell upon 
 stony ground, etc. Endeavored to show them the reason there was to 
 fear, lest many promising appearances and hopeful beginnings in religion 
 might prove abortive, like the seed dropped upon stony places. In the 
 afternoon discoursed upon Rom. viii. 9. Now if any man have not thespirit 
 of Christ, he is none of his. I have reason to think this discourse was 
 peculiarly seasonable, and that it had a good effect upon some of the 
 hearers. Spent some hours afterwards in private conference with my 
 people, and labored to regulate some things which I apprehended amiss 
 among some of them. 
 
 " May 5. Visited my people again, and took care of their worldly 
 concerns ; giving them directions relating to their business. I daily dis 
 cover more and more of what importance it is likely to be to their re 
 ligious interests, that they become laborious and industrious, acquainted 
 with the affairs of husbandry, and able in a good measure to raise the 
 necessaries and comforts of life within themselves; for their present 
 method of living greatly exposes them to temptations of various kinds. 
 May 6. Enjoyed some spirit and courage in my work ; was in a good 
 measure free from melancholy ; blessed be God for freedom from this 
 death. 
 
 <: ALiy 7. Spent most of the day in writing as usual. Enjoyed some 
 freedom in my work. Was favored with some comfortable meditations 
 this day. In the evening was in a sweet composed frame of mind ; 
 was pleased and delighted to leave all with God respecting myself for 
 time and eternity, and respecting the people of my charge, and dear 
 friends. Had no doubt but that God would take care of me and of his 
 own interest among my people ; and was enabled to use freedom in 
 prayer as a child with a tender father. O, how sweet is such a frame ! 
 
 " May 8. In the evening, was somewhat refreshed with divine things, 
 nivl enjoyed a tender melting frame in secret prayer, wherein my soul was 
 drum out for the interests of Zion, and comforted with the lively hope 
 of the appearing of the great Redeemer. These were sweet moments ; I 
 felt almost loath to go to bed, and grieved that sleep was necessary. 
 However I lay down with a tender reverential fear of God, sensible that 
 his favor is life, and his smiles better than all that earth can boast of, 
 infinitely better than life itself. 
 
 " May 9. Preached from John v. 40, And ye will not come to me, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 
 
 239 
 
 etc., in the open wilderness; the Indians having as yet no house for 
 public worship in this place, nor scarcely any shelter for themselves. 
 Divine truths made considerable impressions upon the audience, and it 
 was a season of great solemnity, tenderness and affection. 
 
 " May 10. Rode to Allen s-town to assist in the administration of the 
 Lord s supper. In the afternoon, preached from Titus ii. 14 : \Vhogave 
 himself for us, etc. God was pleased to carry me through, and to grant 
 me some freedom ; and yet to deny me that enlargement and power for 
 which I longed. In the evening my soul mourned, and could not but 
 mourn, that I had treated so excellent a subject in so defective a manner ; 
 that I had borne so broken a testimony for so worthy and glorious a Re 
 deemer. If my discourse had met with the utmost applause from all the 
 world, it would not have given me any satisfaction. O, it grieved me to 
 think, that I had no more holy warmth and fervency, that I had been no 
 more melted in discoursing of Christ s death and the end and design of 
 it ! Afterwards enjoyed some freedom and fervency in family and secret 
 prayer, and longed much for the presence of God to attend his word and 
 ordinances the next day. 
 
 " Lord s day, May 1 1. Assisted in the administration of the Lord s 
 supper ; but enjoyed but little enlargement ; was grieved and sunk with 
 some things, which I thought undesirable, etc. In the afternoon went to 
 the house of God, weak and sick in soul, as well as feeble in body, and 
 longed that the people might be entertained and edified with divine 
 truths, and that an honest, fervent testimony might be borne for God; but 
 knew not how it was possible for me to do anything of that kind to any 
 good purpose. Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give me 
 assistance both in prayer and preaching. God helped me to wrestle for 
 his presence in prayer, and to tell him that he had promised, Where two 
 or three are met together in his name, there he would be in the midst of 
 them ; and that we were, at least some of us, so met ; and pleaded that 
 for his truth s sake he would be with us. Blessed be God, it was sweet 
 to my soul, thus to plead and rely on God s promises. Discoursed upon 
 Luke ix. 30, 31 : And behold there talked with him two men, which 
 were Moses and Elias, who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease, 
 which he should accomplish at Jerusalem. Enjoyed special freedom 
 fr< in the beginning to the end of my discourse without interruption. 
 Things pertinent to the subject were abundantly presented to my view, 
 and such a fulness of matter, that I scarce knew how to dismiss the vari 
 ous heads and particulars I had occasion to touch upon. Blessed be the 
 Lord, I was favored with some fervency and power, as well as freedom ; 
 so that the word of God seemed to awaken the attention of a stupid au 
 dience to a considerable degree. I was inwardly refreshed with the con 
 solations of God, and could with my whole heart say, Though there be 
 
240 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 no fruit in the vine, etc., yet will I rejoice in the Lord. After public ser 
 vice, was refreshed with the sweet conversation of some Christian 
 friends. 
 
 " May 16. Near night enjoyed some agreeable and sweet conversa 
 tion with a dear minister ; which was, I trust, blessed to my soul. My 
 heart was warmed, and my soul engaged to live to God ; so that I longed 
 to exert myself with more vigor than ever I had done in his cause ; and 
 those words were quickening to me, Herein is my father glorified, that 
 ye bring forth much fruit. O my soul longed, and wished, and prayed 
 to be enabled to live to God with the utmost constancy and ardor ! In 
 the evening God was pleased to shine upon me in secret prayer, and draw 
 out my soul after himself ; and I had freedom in supplication for myself, 
 but much more in intercession for others; so that I was sweetly con 
 strained to say, Lord, use me as thou wilt ; do as thou wilt with me ; 
 but O, promote thine own cause ! Zion is thine ; O visit thine heritage ! 
 Let thy kingdom come ! O let thy blessed interest be advanced in the 
 world! When I attempted to look to God respecting my worldly cir 
 cumstances, and his providential dealings with me relative to my settling 
 down in my congregation ; which seems to be necessary, and yet very 
 difficult, and contrary to my fixed intentions for years past, as well as to 
 my disposition, which has been and still is, at times especially, to go forth 
 and spend my life in preaching the gospel from place to place, and gather 
 ing souls afar off to Jesus the great Redeemer ; I could only say, 
 * The will of the Lord be done ; it is no matter for me. The same frame 
 of mind I felt with regard to another important affair, of which I have 
 lately had some serious thoughts. I could say, with the utmost calmness 
 and composure, Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in 
 it ; but, if thou seest it will in any wise hinder my usefulness in thy 
 cause, oh, prevent me from proceeding ; for all I want respecting this 
 world is such circumstances as may best capacitate me to do service for 
 God in the world. But, blessed be God ! I enjoyed liberty in prayer 
 for my clear flock, and was enabled to pour out my soul into the bosom 
 of a tender Father. My heart within me was melted, when I came to 
 plead for my clear people, and for the kingdom of Christ in general. Oh, 
 how sweet was this evening to my soul ! I knew not how to go to bed ; 
 and when I got to bed, longed for some way to improve time for God to 
 some excellent purpose. Bless the Lord, O my soul ! 
 
 "May 17. Walked out in the morning, and felt much of the same 
 frame which I enjoyed the evening before; had my heart enlarged in 
 praying for the advancement of the kingdom of Christ, and found the ut 
 most freedom in leaving all my concerns with God. I find discourage 
 ment to be an exceeding hindrance to my spiritual fervency and affection ; 
 but, when God enables me sensiblv to find that I have done something for 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 241 
 
 him, this refreshes and animates me, so that I could break through all 
 hardships, and undergo any labors, and nothing seems too much either to 
 door to suffer. But oh, what a death it is to strive and, strive ; to be al 
 ways in a hurry, and yet do nothing, or at least, nothing for God ! Alas, 
 alas, that time flies away, and I do so little for God ! 
 
 "Lord s day, May 18. I felt my own utter insufficiency for my work; 
 God made me to see that I was a child ; yea, that I was a fool. I dis 
 coursed both parts of the day from Rev. iii. 20, Behold, I stand at the 
 door and knock. God gave me freedom and power in the latter part of 
 my forenoon s discourse; although, in the former part of it, I felt peevish 
 and provoked with the unmannerly behavior of the white people, who 
 crowded in between my people and me; which proved a great temptation 
 to me. But blessed be God ! I got these shackles off before the middle 
 of my discourse, and was favored with a sweet frame of spirit in the lat 
 ter part of the exercise ; was full of love, warmth, and tenderness in ad 
 dressing my dear people. There appears some affectionate melting 
 towards the conclusion of the forenoon exercise, and one or two instances 
 of fresh awakening. In the intermission of public worship I took oc 
 casion to discourse to numbers, in a more private way, on the kindness 
 and patience of the blessed Redeemer in standing and knocking, in con 
 tinuing his gracious calls to sinners, who had long neglected and abused 
 his grace ; which seemed to take some effect upon several. 
 
 " In the afternoon divine truths were attended with solemnity and with 
 some tears ; although there was not that powerful awakening and quicken 
 ing influence which in times past has been common in our assemblies. 
 The appearance of the audience under divine truths was comparatively 
 discouraging: and I was ready to fear that God was about to withdraw 
 the blessed influence of his Spirit from us. In the evening, I was 
 grieved that I had done so little for God. Oh that I could be a flame 
 of fire in the service of my God ! 
 
 " May 19. Visited and preached to my people from Acts xx. 18, 19, 
 4 And when they were come to him$ he said unto them, Ye know from 
 the first day, etc. and endeavored to rectify their notions about religious 
 affections ; showing them on the one hand the desirableness of religion* 
 affection, tenderness, and fervent engagement in the worship and service 
 of God, when such affection flows from a true spiritual discovery of 
 divine glories, from a just sense of the transcendent excellence and per 
 fections of the blessed God, and a view of the glory and loveliness of the 
 great Redeemer ; and that such views of divine things will naturally ex 
 cite us to serve the Lord with many tears, with much affection and fer 
 vency, and yet with all humility of mind. On the other hand, I observed 
 the sinfulness of seeking after high affections immediately and for their 
 own sakes ; that is, of making them the object which our eye and heart 
 
242 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 is first and principally set upon, when the glory of God ought to be that 
 object. Showed them, that if the heart be directly and chiefly fixed on 
 God,and the soul engaged to glorify him, some degree of religious affec 
 tion will be the effect and attendant of it. But to seek after affection 
 directly and chiefly ; to have the heart principally set upon that ; is to 
 place it in the room of God and his glory. If it be sought, lhat others 
 may take notice of it, and admire us for our spirituality and forwardness 
 in religion, it is then abominable pride ; if for the sake of feeling the 
 pleasure of being affected, it is then idolatry and self-gratification. 
 Labored also to expose the disagreeableness of those affections, which are 
 sometimes wrought up in persons by the powers of fancy, and their own 
 attempts for that purpose, while I still endeavored to recommend 
 to them that religious affection, fervency, and devotion which ought 
 to attend all our religious exercises, and without which religion will 
 be but an empty name and a lifeless carcase. This appeared to be a 
 seasonable discourse, and proved very satisfactory to some of the reli 
 gious people, who before were exercised with some difficulties relating to 
 this point. Afterwards took care of, and gave my people directions about 
 their worldly affairs. 
 
 " May 22. In the evening was in a frame somewhat remarkable. I 
 had apprehended for some days before, that it was the design of Prov 
 idence that I should settle among my people here, and had in my own 
 mind began to make provision for it, and to contrive means to hasten it, 
 and found my heart somewhat engaged in it, hoping that I might then 
 enjoy more agreeable circumstances of life in several respects ; and yet 
 was never fully determined, never quite pleased with the thoughts of 
 being settled and confined to one place. Nevertheless I seemed to have 
 some freedom in that respect, because the congregation with which I 
 thought of settling, was one which God had enabled me to gather from 
 among pagans. For I never, since I began to preach, could feel any 
 freedom to enter into other men s labors, and settle down in the ministry 
 where the gospel was preached before. I never could make that appear 
 to be my province. When I felt any disposition to consult my worldly 
 ease and comfort, God has never given me any liberty in this respect, 
 either since, or for some years before, I began to preach. But God having 
 succeeded my labors, and made me instrumental in gathering a church 
 for him among these Indians, I was ready to think it might be his design 
 to give me a quiet settlement, and a stated home of my own. This, con 
 sidering the late frequent sinking and failure of my spirits, and the need 
 I stood in of some agreeable society, and my great desire of enjoying con 
 veniences and opportunities for profitable studies, was not altogether dis 
 agreeable to me. Although I still wanted to go about far and wide, in 
 order to spread the blessed gospel among the benighted souls far remote, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 243 
 
 yet I never had been so willing to settle in any one place, for more than 
 five years past, as I was in the preceding part of this week. But now 
 these thoughts seemed to be wholly dashed to pieces, not by necessity, 
 but of choice ; for it appeared to me that God s dealings towards me had 
 fitted me for a life of solitariness and hardship, and that I had nothing to 
 lose, nothing to do with earth, and consequently nothing to lose by a total 
 lenunciation of it. Itappearedto me just right that I should be destitute 
 of house and home,andmany of the comforts of life, which I rejoiced to see 
 others of God s people enjoy. At the same time, I saw so much of the ex 
 cellency of Christ s kingdom, and the infinite desirableness of its advance 
 ment in the world, that it swallowed up all my other thoughts, and made me 
 willing, yea, even rejoice, to be made a pilgrim or hermit in the wilder 
 ness to my dying moment, if I might thereby promote the blessed in 
 terest of the great Redeemer. If ever my soul presented itself to God 
 for his service, without any reserve of any kind, it did so now. The language 
 of my thoughts and disposition now was Here I am, Lord, send me ; 
 send me to the ends of the earth ; send me to the rough, the savage pagans 
 of the wilderness ; send me from all that is called comfort in earth, or 
 earthly comfort ; send me even to death itself, if it be but in thy service, 
 and to promote thy kingdom. 
 
 " At the same time, I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of 
 worldly comforts, as I ever had; but only saw them infinitely overmatched 
 by the worth of Christ s kingdom, and the propagation of his blessed 
 gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of abode, the tender 
 friendship, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in consequence of 
 such circumstances, appeared as valuable to me, considered absolutely 
 and in themselves, as ever before ; but considered comparatively, they 
 appeared nothing. Compared with the value and preciousness of an en 
 largement of Christ s kingdom, they vanished as stars before the rising 
 sun. Sure I am, that, although the comfortable accommodations of life 
 appeared valuable and dear to me, yet I did surrender and resign myself, 
 soul and body, to the service of God, and to the promotion of Christ s 
 kingdom; though it should be in the loss of them all, I could not do any 
 other, because I could not will or choose any other. I was constrained, 
 and yet chose, to say, Farewell friends and earthly comforts, the dearest 
 of them all, the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it ; adieu, adieu ; I will 
 spend my life, to my latest moments, in caves and dens of the earth, if 
 the kingdom of Christ may thereby be advanced. I found extraordinary 
 freedom at this time in pouring out my soul to God for his cause ; and 
 especially that his kingdom might be extended among the Indians, far re 
 mote ; and I had a great and strong hope that God would do it. I con 
 tinued wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little flock here ; and 
 more especially for the Indians elsewhere; as well as for dear friends in 
 one place and another until it was bed time, and I feared I should hinder 
 
244 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 the family. But, O, with what reluctancy did I feel myself obliged to 
 consume time in sleep ! I longed to be as a flame of fire, continually 
 glowing in the divine service, and building up Christ s kingdom, to my 
 latest, my dying moment. 
 
 " May 23. In the morning, was in the same frame of mind as in the 
 evening before. The glory of Christ s kingdom so much outshone the 
 pleasure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that they appeared 
 comparatively nothing, though in themselves good and desirable. My 
 soul was melted in secret meditation and prayer ; and I found myself 
 divorced from any part or portion in this world ; so that in those affairs 
 which seemed of the greatest importance to me with respect to the present 
 life, and in those with which the tenderest feelings of the heart are most 
 sensibly connected ; I could only say, the will of the Lord be done. But 
 just the same things, which I felt the evening before, I felt now, and 
 found the same freedom in prayer for the people of my charge, for the 
 propagation of the gospel among the Indians, and for the enlargement 
 and spiritual welfare of Zion in general, and my dear friends in particular 
 now, as I did then ; and longed to burn out in one continued flame for 
 God. Retained much of the same frame through the day. In the even 
 ing I was visited by my brother John Brainerd ; the first visit which I 
 have ever received from any near relative since I have been a missionary. 
 Felt the same flame of spirit in the evening, as in the morning ; and found 
 that it was good for me to draw near to God, and leave all my concerns 
 and burdens with him. Was enlarged and refreshed in pouring out my 
 soul for the propagation of the gospel of the Redeemer among the distant 
 tribes of Indians. Blessed be God. If ever I filled up a day with study 
 and devotion, I was enabled so to fill up this day. 
 
 " May 24. Visited the Indians, and took care of their secular busi 
 ness, which they are not able to manage themselves, without the con 
 stant care and advice of others. Afterwards discoursed to some of them 
 particularly about their spiritual concerns. Enjoyed this day somewhat 
 of the same frame of mind which I felt the day before. 
 
 " Lord s day, May 25. Discoursed both parts of the day from John 
 xii. 44-48. Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, etc. There 
 was some degree of divine power attending the word of God. Several 
 wept, and appeared considerably affected, and one, who had long been 
 under spiritual trouble, now obtained clearness and comfort, and appeared 
 to rejoice in God her Saviour. It was a day of grace and divine good 
 ness; a day wherein something, I trust, was done for the cause of God 
 among my people ; a season of comfort and sweetness to numbers of the 
 religious people ; although there was not that influence upon the congre 
 gation which was common some months ago." 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2 45 
 
 This week, at least the former part of it, he was in a very 
 weak stale, but yet seems to have been free from melancholy, 
 which often had attended the failing of his bodily strength. 
 He from time to time speaks of comfort and inward refresh 
 ment this week. 
 
 " Lord s day, June I, 1746. Preached both forenoon and afternoon 
 from Matt. xi. 27, 28. The presence of God seemed to be in the as 
 sembly ; and numbers were considerably melted and affected under divine 
 truths. There was a desirable appearance in the congregation in general, 
 an earnest attention and an agreeable tenderness ; and it seemed as if 
 God designed to visit us with further showers of divine grace. I then 
 baptized ten persons ; five adults, and five children ; and was not a little 
 refreshed with this addition made to the church of such as I hope will be 
 saved. I have reason to hope that God has lately, at and since our cele 
 bration of the Lord s supper, brought to himself several persons who had 
 long been under spiritual trouble and concern ; although there have been 
 few instances of persons lately awakened out of a state of security. Those 
 comforted of late seem to be brought in, in a more silent way; neither 
 their concern, nor consolation being so powerful and remarkable, as ap 
 peared among those more suddenly wrought upon in the beginning of this 
 work of grace. 
 
 "June 2. In the evening, enjoyed some freedom in secret prayer and 
 meditation. June 3. My soul rejoiced, early in the morning, to think that all 
 things were at God s disposal. Oh, it pleased me to leave them there ! 
 Felt afterwards much as I did on Thursday evening last, May 22, and 
 continued in that frame for several hours. Walked out in the wilderness, 
 and enjoyed freedom, fervency and comfort in prayer, and again enjoyed 
 the same in the evening. 
 
 "June 4. Spent the day in writing, and enjoyed some comfort, satis 
 faction and freedom in my work. In the evening, I was favored with a 
 sweet refreshing frame of soul in secret prayer and meditation. Prayer 
 was now wholly turned into praise, and I could do little else but try to 
 adore and bless the living God. The wonders of his grace displayed in 
 gathering to himself a church among the poor Indians here, were the sub-^ 
 ject matter of my meditation, and the occasion of exciting my soul to 
 praise and bless his name. My soul was scarcely ever more disposed to 
 inquire, What I should render to God for all his benefits ? than at this 
 time. Oh, I was brought into a strait, a sweet and happy strait, to know 
 what to do : I longed to make some returns to God ; but found I had 
 nothing to return ; I could only rejoice that God had done the work him 
 self ; and that none in heaven or earth might pretend to share the honor 
 of it with him. I could only be glad that God s declarative glory was ad-^ 
 
246 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 vanced by the conversion of these souls, and that it was to the enlarge 
 ment of his kingdom in the world ; but saw I was so poor that I had 
 nothing to offer to him. My soul and body, through grace, I could cheer 
 fully surrender to him ; but it appeared to me this was rather a burden 
 than a gift ; and nothing could I do to glorify his dear and blessed name. 
 Yet I was glad at heart, that he was unchangeably possessed of glory and 
 blessedness. Oh, that he might be adored and praised by all his intelli 
 gent creatures to the utmost extent of their capacities ! My soul would 
 have rejoiced to see others praise him, though I could do nothing towards 
 it myself." 
 
 "June 6. Discoursed to my people from part of Is. liii. The divine 
 presence appeared to be among us in some measure. Several persons 
 were much melted and refreshed ; and one man in particular, who had 
 long been under concern for his soul, was now brought to see and feel, in 
 a very lively manner, the impossibility of his doing anything to help him 
 self, or to bring him into the favor of God, by his tears, prayers and other 
 religious performances ; and found himself undone as to any power or 
 goodness of his own, and that there was no way left him but to leave him 
 self with God, to be disposed of as he pleased. 
 
 "June 7. Being desired by the Rev. William Tennent to be his assis 
 tant in the administration of the Lord s supper, I this morning rode to 
 Freehold to render that assistance. My people also being invited to at 
 tend the sacramental solemnity ; they cheerfully embraced the opportunity, 
 and this day attended the preparatory services with me. In the after 
 noon I preached from Psalm Ixxiii. 28. But it is good for me to draw 
 near to God, etc. God gave me some freedom and warmth in my dis 
 course ; and I trust his presence was in the assembly. Was comfortably 
 composed, enjoyed a thankful frame of spirit, and my soul was grieved 
 that I could not render something to God for his benefits bestowed. O 
 that I could be swallowed up in his praise ! 
 
 " Lord s day, June 8. Spent much time in the morning in secret 
 duties, but between hope and fear respecting the enjoyment of God in 
 the business of the day then before us. Was agreeably entertained in the 
 forenoon by a discourse from Mr. Tennent, and felt somewhat melted and 
 refreshed. In the season of communion enjoyed some comfort ; and es 
 pecially in serving one of the tables. Blessed be the Lord ! it was a time 
 of refreshing to me, and I trust to many others. 
 
 " Most of my people, who had been communicants at the Lord s table, 
 before being present at this sacramental occasion, communed with others 
 in the holy ordinance, at the desire, and I trust to the satisfaction and 
 comfort of numbers of God s people, who had longed to see this day, and 
 whose hearts had rejoiced in this work of grace among the Indians, which 
 prepared the way for what appeared so agreeable at this time. Those 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 247 
 
 of my people who communed, seemed in general, agreeably affected at 
 the Lord s table, and some of them considerably melted with the love of 
 Christ, although they were not so remarkably refreshed and feasted at 
 this time, as when I administered this ordinance to them in our own con 
 gregation only. A number of my dear people sat down by themselves at 
 the last table ; at which time God seemed to be in the midst of them. 
 Some of the bystanders were affected wi h seeing those who had been 
 aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenant 
 of promise, who of all men had lived without hope and without God in 
 the world, now brought near to God, as his professing people, and seal 
 ing their covenant with him, by a solemn and devout attendance upon this 
 sacred ordinance. As numbers of God s people were refreshed with this 
 sight, and thereby excited to bless God for the enlargement of his king 
 dom in the world ; so some others, I was told, were awakened by it, ap 
 prehending the danger they were in of being themselves finally cast out ; 
 while they saw others from the east and west preparing, and hopefully 
 prepared in some good measure, to sit down in the kingdom of God. At 
 this season others of my people also, who were not communicants, were 
 considerably affected ; convictions were revived in several instances ; 
 and one, the man particularly mentioned in my journal of the 6th instant 
 obtained comfort and satisfaction ; and has since given me such an ac 
 count of his spiritual exercises, and the manner in which he obtained re 
 lief, as appears very hopeful. It seems as if He, who commanded the 
 light to shine out of darkness, had now shined into his heart, and given 
 him the light of, and experimental knowledge of the glory of God in the 
 face of Jesus Christ. 
 
 " In the afternoon God enabled me to preach with uncommon free 
 dom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, 
 etc. Through the great goodness of God, I was favored with a constant 
 flow of pertinent matter, and proper expressions, from the beginning to 
 the end of my discourse. In the evening I could not but rejoice in God, 
 and bless him in the manifestations of Grace in the day past ? O it was 
 a sweet and solemn day and evening ! A season of comfort to the godly, 
 and of awakening to some souls ! O that I could praise the Lord ! 
 
 "June 9. Enjoyed some sweetness in secret duties. A considerable 
 number of my people met together early in a retired place in the woods, 
 and prayed, sang, and conversed of divine things ; and were seen by some 
 religious persons of the white people to be affected and engaged, and 
 divers of them in tears in these religious exercises. Preached the con 
 cluding sermon from Gen. v. 24. And Enoch walked with God, etc 
 God gave me enlargement and- fervency in my discourse, so that I was. 
 enabled to speak with plainness and power ; and God s presence seemed 
 to be in the assembly. Praised be the Lord, it was a sweet meeting, a 
 
248 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 desirable assembly. I found my strength renewed, and lengthened out 
 even to a wonder, so that I felt much stronger at the conclusion than in 
 the beginning of this sacramental solemnity. I have great reason to bless 
 God for this solemnity; wherein I have found assistance in addressing 
 others, and sweetness in my own soul. 
 
 " After my people had attended the concluding exercises of the 
 sacramental solemnity, they returned home ; many of them rejoicing for 
 all the goodness of God which they had seen and felt ; so that this 
 Appeared to be a profitable as well as comfortable season to numbers of 
 my congregation. Their being present at this occasion, and a number of 
 them communing at the Lord s table with other Christians, was, I trust, 
 for the honor of God and the interest of religion in these parts; as numbers 
 I have reason to think, were quickened by means of it. 
 
 "June 12. In the evening enjoyed freedom of mind and some sweet 
 ness in secret prayer. It was a desirable season to me ; my soul was 
 enlarged in prayer for my own dear people, and for the enlargement of 
 Christ s kingdom, and especially for the propagation of the Gospel among 
 the Indians, far back in the wilderness. Was refreshed in prayer for 
 dear friends in New England and elsewhere. I found it sweet to pray at 
 this time ; and could, with all my heart say, It is good for me to draw 
 near to God. 
 
 "June 13. Preached to my people upon the new creature, from 2 
 Cor. v. 17, If any man be in Christ, etc. The presence of God seemed 
 to be in the assembly. Itwas a sweet and agreeable meeting, wherein the 
 people of God were refreshed and strengthened ; beholding their faces in 
 the glass of God s word, and finding in themselves the works and linea 
 ments of the new creature. Some sinners under concern were also re- 
 neweclly affected ; and afresh engaged for the securing of their eternal 
 interests. 
 
 " Baptized five persons at this time, three adults, and two children. 
 One of these was the very aged woman, of whose exercises I gave an 
 account in my diary of Dec. 26. She now gave me a very rational, and 
 satisfactory account of the remarkable change which she experienced 
 some months after the beginning of her concern, which I must say appeared 
 to be the genuine operations of the Divine Spirit, so far as I am capable 
 of judging. Although she was become so childish through age, that I 
 could do nothing in a way of questioning with her. nor scarcely make her 
 understand anything that I asked her ; yet when I let her alone to go on 
 with her own story, she could give a very distinct and particular relation 
 of the many and various exercises of soul, which she had experienced; 
 so deep were the impressions left upon her mind by that influence and 
 those exercises which she had experienced. I have great reason to think 
 that she is born anew in her old age, she being, I presume, upwards of 
 
MEMO IKS OF BRAIXERD. 249 
 
 eighty. I had good hopes of the other adults, and trust they are such as 
 God will own in the day when he makes up his jewels. I came away 
 from the meeting of the Indians this day, rejoicing and blessing God for 
 his grace manifested at this season. 
 
 "June 14. Rode to Kingston to assist the Rev. Mr. Wales in the 
 administration of the Lord s supper. In the afternoon preached; but 
 almost fainted in the pulpit. Yet God strengthened me when I was just 
 gone, and enabled me to speak his word with freedom, fervency and 
 application to the conscience. Praised be the Lord, out of weakness I 
 was made strong. I enjoyed some sweetness in and after public worship, 
 but was extremely tired. Oh, how many are the mercies of the Lord ! 
 To them that have no might he increaseth strength. 
 
 " Lord s day, June 15. Was in a dejected, spiritless frame, so that I 
 could not hold up my head, nor look anybody in the face. Administered 
 the Lord s supper at Mr. Wales desire, and found myself in a good 
 measure unburdened and relieved of my pressing load, when I came to 
 ask a blessing on the elements. Here God gave me enlargement and a 
 tender affectionate sense of spiritual things, so that it was a season of 
 comfort, in some measure to me, and I trust, more so to others. In the 
 afternoon, preached to a vast multitude, from Rev. xxii. 17: And who 
 ever will, etc. God helped me to offer a testimony for himself, and to 
 leave sinners inexcusable in neglecting his grace. I was enabled to speak 
 with such freedom, fluency and clearness, as commanded the attention of 
 the great. Was extremely tired in the evening, but enjoyed composure 
 and sweetness. 
 
 "June 16. Preached again ; and God helped me amazingly, so that this 
 was a sweet refreshing season to my soul and others. Oh, forever blessed 
 be God for help afforded at this time, when my body was so weak, and 
 while there was so large an assembly to hear. Spent this afternoon in a 
 comfortable agreeable manner." 
 
 The next day was spent comfortably. On Wednesday, 
 he went to a meeting of ministers at Hopewell. 
 
 "June 19. Visited my people with two of the reverend correspondents. 
 Spent some time in conversation with some of them upon spiritual things ; 
 and took some care of their worldly concerns. 
 
 " This day makes up a complete year from the first time of my preach 
 ing to these Indians in New Jersey. What amazing things has God wrought 
 in this space of time, for this poor people ! What a surprising change 
 appears in their tempers and behavior ! How are morose and savage 
 pagans, in this short period, transformed into agreeable, affectionate, and 
 humble Christians ! and their drunken and pagan howlings turned into 
 
250 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 devout and fervent praises to God ; they who were sometimes in dark 
 ness are now become light in the Lord. May they walk as children of 
 the light and of the day ! And now to Him that is of power to establish 
 them according to the gospel, and the preaching of Christ to God only 
 wise, be glory through Jesus Christ, for ever and ever, Amen." 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 25 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Some Remarkable Cases of Conversion during the great Revival. 
 No. I. 
 
 " Dec. 26. This evening was visited by a person under great spiritual 
 distress ; the most remarkable instance of this kind I ever saw. She was, 
 I believe, more than fourscore years old, and appeared to be much broken 
 and very childish through age ; so that it seemed impossible for man to 
 instill into her any notions of divine things; not so much as to give 
 her any doctrinal instruction, because she seemed incapable of being 
 taught. She was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in extreme 
 anguish. I asked her, what ailed her ? She answered, her heart was dis 
 tressed, and she feared she should never find Christ. I asked her when 
 she began to be concerned, with divers other questions relating to her 
 distress. To all which she answered, for substance, to this effect : That 
 she had heard me preach many times, but never knew anything about it, 
 never felt it in her heart, till the last Sabbath, and then it came, she said, 
 all one as if a needle had been thrust into her heart ; since which time, 
 she had no rest day nor night. She added, that on the evening before 
 Christmas, a number of Indians being together at the house where she 
 was, and discoursing about Christ, their talk pricked her heart so that 
 she could not sit up, but fell down in her bed ; at which time she went 
 away, as she expressed it, and felt as if she dreamed, and yet is confident 
 she did not dream. When she was thus gone, she saw two paths ; one 
 appeared very broad and crooked ; and that turned to the left hand. The 
 other appeared straight and very narrow ; and that went up the hill to the 
 right hand. She travelled, she said, for some time up the narrow light 
 hand path, till at length something seemed to obstruct her journey, She 
 sometimes called it darkness ; and then described it otherwise, and seemed 
 to compare it to a block or bar. She then remembered what she had 
 heard me say about striving to enter in at the straight gate, although she 
 took little notice of it at the time when she heard me discourse upon 
 that subject; and thought she would climb over this bar. But just as 
 she was thinking of this, she came back again, as she turned it, meaning 
 that she came to herself ; whereupon her soul was extremely distressed, 
 apprehending that she had now termed back, and forsaken Christ, and 
 that there was therefore no hope of mercy for her. 
 
 " As I was sensible that trances, and imaginary views of things are 
 of dangerous tendency in religion, where sought after and depended 
 upon ; so I could not but be much concerned about this exercise, especi- 
 
2 52 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 cially at first ; apprehending this might be a design of Satan to bring a 
 blemish upon the work of God here, by introducing visionary scenes, 
 imaginary terrors, and all manner of mental disorders and delusions, in 
 the room of genuine convictions of sin, and the enlightening influences of 
 the blessed Spirit ; and I was almost resolved to declare, that I looked 
 upon this to be one of Satan s devices, and to caution my people against 
 this and similar exercises of that nature. However, I determined first to 
 inquire into her knowledge, to see whether she had any just views of 
 things which might be the occasion of her present distressing concern, or 
 whether it was a mere fright, arising only from imaginary terrors. I 
 asked her divers questions respecting man s primitive, and more espe- 
 ally his present state, and respecting her own heart ; which she an 
 swered rationally, and to my surprise. I thought it next to impossible, 
 if not altogether so, that a pagan, who was become a child through age, 
 should in that state gain so much knowledge by any mere human instruc 
 tion, without being remarkably enlightened by a divine influence. I then 
 proposed to her the provision made in the Gospel for the salvation of sin 
 ners, and the ability and willingness of Christ to save to the uttermost 
 all, old as well as young, that come to him. To this she seemed to give 
 a hearty assent; but instantly replied, * Aye, but I cannot come; my 
 wicked heart will not come to Christ ; I do not know how to come. 
 This she spoke in anguish of spirits, striking on her breast, with tears in 
 her eyes, and with such earnestness in her looks, as was indeed piteous 
 and affecting. She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery, 
 and her need of a change of heart. Her concern is abiding and constant, 
 so that nothing appears why this exercise may not have a saving issue. 
 Indeed there seems reason to hope such an issue, seeing she is so solici 
 tous to obtain an interest in Christ ; that her heart, as she expresses it, 
 prays day and night. 
 
 " How far God may make use of the imagination in awakening some 
 persons under these, and similar circumstances, I cannot pretend to 
 determine. Or whether this exercise be from a divine influence, I shall 
 leave others, to judge. But this I must say, that its effects hitherto be 
 speak it to be such ; nor can it, as I see. be accounted for in any rational 
 way, but from the influence of some spirit either good or evil. The wo 
 man, I am sure, never heard divine things in the manner in which she 
 now viewed them ; and it would seem strange that she should get such a 
 rational notion of them from the mere working of her own fancy, without 
 some superior, or at least foreign aid. Yet I must say, I have looked 
 upon it as one of the glories of this work of grace among the Indians, 
 and a special evidence of it s being from a divine influence, that there has, 
 till now been no appearance of such things, no visionary notions, trances, 
 and imaginations, intermixed with those rational convictions of sin and 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 253 
 
 solid consolations, of which numbers have been made the subjects. And 
 might I have my desire, there had been no appearance of anything of 
 this nature at all." 
 
 Noll. 
 
 " Lord s day, Jan. 19. Discoursed to my people from Isaiah Iv. 7. 
 Toward night catechised in my ordinary method ; and this appeared to 
 be a powerful season of grace among us. Numbers were much affected. 
 Convictions were powerfully revived, and divers numbers of Christians 
 refreshed and strengthened ; and one weary, heavy laden soul, I have 
 abundant reason to hope, brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ; 
 who afterwards gave me such an account of God s dealing with his soul, 
 as was abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing to me. He told me 
 he had often heard me say, that persons must see and feel themselves 
 utterly helpless and undone that they must be emptied of a dependence 
 upon themselves and of all hope of saving themselves, in order to their 
 coming to Christ for salvation. He had long been striving after this view 
 of things ; supposing that this would be an excellent frame of mind, to be 
 thus emptied of a dependence upon his own goodness; that God would 
 have respect to this frame, would then be well pleased with him, and 
 bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this 
 helpless, undone condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts 
 and expectations ; so that it was not the same frame, nor indeed anything 
 like the frame after which he had been seeking. Instead of its being a 
 good frame of mind, he now found nothing but badness in himself, and 
 saw it was for ever impossible for him to make himself any better. He 
 wondered, he said, that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He 
 was amazed that he had never before seen, that it was utterly impossible 
 for him by all his contrivances and endeavors to do anything in that way, 
 since the matter now appeared to him in so clear a light. Instead of im 
 agining now that God would be pleased with him for the sake of this 
 frame of mind, and this view of his undone estate, he saw clearly, and felt 
 that it would be just with God, to send him to eternal misery ; and that 
 there was no goodness in what he then felt ; for he could not help seeing, 
 that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and that there was nothing in 
 such a sight to deserve God s love or pity. 
 
 " He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing, that it 
 seemed to him, he said, he could convince everybody of their utter in 
 ability to help themselves, and their unworthiness of any help from God. 
 In this frame of mind he came to public worship this evening ; and while 
 I was inviting sinners to come to Christ naked and empty, without any 
 goodness of their own to recommend them to his acceptance, then he 
 thought with himself that he had often tried to come and give up his 
 
2 54 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 heart to Christ, and he used to hope that some time or other he should 
 be able to do so. But now he was convinced that he could not, and that 
 it was utterly vain for him ever to try any more ; and he could not, he 
 said, find a heart to make any further attempt, because he saw it would 
 signify nothing at all ; nor did he now hope for a better opportunity or 
 more ability hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw, and was 
 fully convinced that his own strength would for ever fail. 
 
 " While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he said, with his heart, 
 which is a common phrase among them, something that was unspeakably 
 good and lovely, and what he had never seen before ; and this stole 
 away his heart, whether he would or no. He did not, he said, know 
 what it was that he saw. He did not say, this is Jesus Christ ; but it 
 was such glory and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give 
 away his heart, as he had formerly intended and attempted to do ; but it 
 went away of itself after that glory which he then discovered. He used 
 to make a bargain with Christ, to give up his heart to him that he might 
 have eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about himself, or 
 what would become of him hereafter; but was pleased, and his mind 
 wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of what he then beheld. 
 After some time he was wonderfully pleased with the way of salvation by 
 Christ; so that it seemed unspeakably better to be saved altogether by 
 the mere free grace of God in Christ; than to have any hand in saving 
 himself. The consequence of this exercise is, that he appears to retain 
 a sense and relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of seriousness 
 and true religion." 
 
 No. III. 
 
 " Feb. g. Towards night catechised. God made this a powerful sea 
 son to some. There were many affected. Former convictions appeared 
 to be powerfully revived. There was likewise one who had been a vile 
 drunkard remarkably awakened. He appeared to be in great anguish of 
 soul, wept and trembled, and continued to do so till near midnight. There 
 was also a poor heavy-laden soul, who had been long under spiritual dis 
 tress, as constant and pressing as I ever saw, who was now brought to a 
 comfortable calm, and seemed to be bowed and reconciled to the divine 
 sovereignty, and told me she now felt and saw that it was right for God 
 to do with her as he pleased ; and that her heart felt pleased and satisfied 
 it should be so ; although of late she had often found her heart rise and 
 quarrel with God, because he would, if he pleased, send her to hell after 
 all she had done, or could do to save herself. She added, that the heavy 
 burden she had lain under was now removed ; that she had tried to re 
 cover her concern and distress again, fearing that the Spirit of God was 
 departing from her, and would leave her wholly careless, but that she 
 
MEMOIRS OF DRAINERD. 
 
 2 55 
 
 could not recover it; that she felt she never could do anything to save 
 herself, but must perish for ever if Christ did not do all for her ; that she 
 did not deserved he should help her ; and that it would be right if he 
 should leave her to perish. But Christ would save her though she could 
 do nothing to save herself, and here she seemed to rest." 
 
 No. IV. 
 
 " March. 9. Methinks it would have refreshed the heart of any who 
 truly love Zion s interests, to have been in the midst of this divine in 
 fluence, and seen the effects of it upon saints and sinners. The place of 
 worship appeared both solemn and sweet, and was so endeared by 
 a display of the divine presence and grace, that those who had any relish for 
 divine things could not but cry, How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord 
 of hosts ! After public worship was over, numbers came to my house, where 
 we sang and discoursed of divine things ; and the presence of God seemed 
 here also to be in the midst of us. While we were singing the woman 
 mentioned in my journal of February 9, who I may venture to say, if 
 I may be allowed to say so much of any person I ever saw, was filled 
 with joy unspeakable and full of glory ; and could not but burst forth in 
 prayer and praises to God before us all with many tears ; crying sometimes 
 in English, and sometimes in Indian, O blessed Lord ! do come, do 
 come ! O do take me away ; do let me die and go to Jesus Christ ! I am 
 afraid if I live I shall sin again. O do let me die now ! O dear Jesus, do 
 come ! I cannot stay, I cannot stay ! O how can I live in this world ? do 
 take my soul away from this sinful place ! O let me never sin any more ! 
 O what shall I do, what shall I do, dear Jesus ! O dear Jesus ! In this 
 ecstasy she continued some time, uttering these and similar expressions in 
 cessantly. The grand argument she used with God to take her away immedi 
 ately was, that if she lived she should sin against him. When she had a 
 little recovered herself, I asked her, if Christ was now sweet to her soul ? 
 Whereupon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens 
 of deep humility I ever saw in any person, she said, " I have many times 
 heard you speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, that he was 
 better than all the world. But oh ! I knew nothing what you meant. I 
 never believed you, I never believed you ! But now I know it is true; or 
 words to that effect. I answered, And do you see enough in Christ for 
 the greatest of sinners ? She replied, O enough, enough for all the 
 sinners in the world, if they would but come. When I asked her, if she 
 could not tell them of the goodness of Christ : Turning herself about to 
 some Christless souls who stood by and were much affected, she said, 
 *O there is enough in Christ for you if you would but come. O strive, 
 strive to give up your hearts to him, etc. On hearing something of the 
 
256 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 
 
 glory of heaven mentioned, that there was no sin in that world, she again 
 fell into the same ecstasy of joy and desire of Christ s coming, repeating 
 her former expressions, O dear Lord, do let me go ! O what shall I do; 
 what shall I do. I want to go to Christ. I cannot live. O do let me 
 die. 
 
 " She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours before 
 she was able to get home. I am very sensible that there may be great 
 joys arising even to an ecstasy, where there is still no substantial evidence 
 of their being well grounded. But in the present case there seemed to be 
 no evidence wanting in order to prove this joy to be divine, either in re 
 gard to its preparatives, attendants, or consequents. Of all the persons 
 whom I have seen under spiritual exercise, I scarcely ever saw one appear 
 more bowed and broken under convictions of sin and misery, or what is 
 usually called preparatory work, than this woman ; nor scarcely any who 
 seemed to have a greater acquaintance with her own heart than she had. 
 She would frequently complain to me of the hardness and rebellion of her 
 heart. Would tell me that her heart rose and quarrelled with God when 
 she thought he would do with her as he pleased, and send her to hell, not 
 withstanding her prayers, good frames, etc, that her heart was not willing 
 to come to Christ for salvation, but tried every where else for help. As she 
 seemed to be remarkably sensible of her stubbornness and contrariety to 
 God under conviction, so she appeared to be no less remarkably bowed and 
 reconciled to his sovereignty before she obtained any relief or comfort ; 
 something of which I have noticed in my journal of Feb. 9. Since that 
 time she has seemed constantly to breathe the temper and spirit of the 
 new creature : crying after Christ, not through fear of hell as before, but 
 with strong desires after him as her only satisfied portion; and has many 
 times wept and sobbed bitterly, because as she apprehended, she did not 
 and could not love him. When I have sometimes asked her why she ap 
 peared so sorrowful, and whether it was because she was afraid of hell, 
 she would answer, No, I be not distressed about that, but my heart is so 
 wicked I cannot love Christ ; and thereupon burst into tears. But 
 although this has been the habitual frame of her mind for several weeks 
 together, so that the exercise of grace appeared evident to others ; yet 
 she seemed wholly insensible to it herself, and never had any remarkable 
 comfort and sensible satisfaction until this evening. 
 
 This sweet and surprising ecstasy appeared to spring from a true 
 spiritual discovery of the glory, ravishing beauty, and excellency of Christ; 
 and not from any gross imaginary notions of his human nature, such as 
 that of seeing him in such a posture, as hanging on the cross, as bleeding 
 and dying, as gently smiling, and the like ; which delusions some have 
 been carried away with. Nor did it arise from sordid, selfish apprehensions 
 of her having any benefit whatsoever conferred on her ; but from a view 
 
MEMOIRS OF DRAINER D. 257 
 
 of his personal excellency and transcendant loveliness ; which drew forth 
 these vehement desires of enjoying hi;u which she now manifested, and 
 made her long, " to be absent from the body, that she might be present 
 with the Lord. 
 
 The attendants of this ravishing comfort were such, as abundantly dis 
 covered its spring to be divine ; and that it was truly a joy in the Holy 
 Ghost. Now she viewed divine truths as living realities, and could say, 
 4 I know these things are so ; I feel that they are true ! Now her sou! 
 was resigned to the divine will in the most tender point ; so that when I 
 said to her, What if God should take away your husband * from you who 
 was then very sick, how do you think you could bear that ? She replied, 
 4 He belongs to God and not to me ; he may do with him just as he 
 pleases. Now she had the most tender sense of the evil of sin, and dis 
 covered the utmost aversion to it, and longing to die, that she might be 
 delivered from it. Now she could freely trust her all with God for time 
 and eternity. When I questioned her, How she would be willing to die 
 and leave her little infant ; and what she thought would become of it in 
 that case ? she answered, God will take care of it. Now she appeared to 
 have the most humbling sense of her own meanness and unworthiness, 
 her weakness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to persevere 
 in the way of holiness, crying, If I live I shall sin. I then thought that 
 I had never seen such an appearance of ecstasy and humility meeting in 
 any one person in all my life before. 
 
 " The consequents of this joy are no less desirable and satisfactory 
 than its attendants. She since appears to be a most tender, hrnkcn- 
 .hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble Christian ; as exemplary in life 
 and conversation as any person in my congregation. May she still 
 grow in grace and in the knowledge of Christ ! " 
 
 No. V. 
 
 May g. " Baptized one man this day, the conjurer, murderer, etc. men- 
 tioned in my diary of Aug. 8, 1745, and Feb I, 1746,* who appears to be 
 such a remarkable instance of divine grace, that I cannot omit to give some 
 brief account of him here. He lived near, and sometimes attended mv 
 meeting, at the Forks of Delaware, for more than a year together ; bi: 
 was, like many others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, a.vl 
 seemed to be in nodegree reformed by the means which I used with them 
 for their instruction and conversion. At this time he likewise murdered a 
 likely young Indian, which threw him into some kind of horror and des 
 peration, so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to hear me 
 
 The man mentioned in my Journal of January jg. 
 
2 1;8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 preach for several months together, until I had an opportunity of convers 
 ing freely with him, and giving him encouragement, that his sin might be 
 forgiven, for Christ s sake. After this he again attended my meeting 
 sometimes. 
 
 " But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his conjuration. 
 He was one of those who are sometimes called powwows, among the In 
 dians ; and, notwithstanding his frequent attendance upon my preaching, 
 he still followed his old charms and juggling tricks, giving out that him 
 self was some great one, and to him they gave heed, supposing him to be 
 possessed of great power. When I have instructed them respecting the 
 miracle wrought by Christ in healing the sick, and mentioned them as 
 evidence of his divine mission, and the truths of his doctrine ; they have 
 quickly observed the wonders of that kind, which this man had perform 
 ed by his magic charms. Hence they had a high opinion of him and his 
 superstitious notions ; which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to some of 
 them in regard to their receiving the Gospel. I have often thought that 
 it would be a great favor to the design of evangelizing these Indians, i 
 God would take that wretch out of the world ; for I had scarcely any hope 
 of his ever becoming good. But God, whose thoughts are not as man s 
 thoughts, has been pleased to take a much more desirable method with 
 him ; a method agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I trust advan 
 tageous to his own interests among the Indians, as well as effectual to the 
 salvation of the poor soul. To God be the glory of it. The first genuine 
 concern for his soul, that ever appeared in him, was excited by seeing my 
 interpreter and his wife baptized at the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745. 
 Which so prevailed upon him, that with the invitation of an Indian who 
 was a friend to Christianity, he followed me down to Crossweeksung, in 
 the beginning of August following, in order to hear me preach ; and there 
 continued for several weeks in the season of the most remarkable and 
 powerful awakening among the Indians ; at which time he was more 
 effectually awakened, and brought under great concern for his soul. And 
 then he says, upon his feeling the word of God in his heart, as he ex 
 presses it, his spirit of conjuration left him entirely, so that he has had no 
 more power of that nature since, than any other man living. He also de 
 clares, that he does not now so much as know how he used to charm and 
 conjure, and that he could not now do anything of that nature if he were 
 ever so desirous of it. 
 
 " He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing state, and 
 a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the fall and former part 
 of the winter past ; but was not so deeply exercised until some time in 
 January. Then the word of God took such hold upon him, that he was 
 brought into deep distress, and knew not what to do, nor where to turn 
 himself. He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach from 
 time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his heart, and 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 259 
 
 made him very uneasy, but did not bring him to so great a distress, be 
 cause he still hoped he could do something for his own relief; but now he 
 said, I drove him up in such a sharp corner, that he had no way to turn, 
 and could not avoid being in distress. He continued constantly under 
 the heavy burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, until at length he was 
 brought into the acute anguish and utmost agony of soul, mentioned in my 
 Journal of Feb. 1st. which continued that night and part of the next day. 
 After this he was brought to the utmost calmness and composure of mind; 
 his trembling and heavy burden was removed and he appeared perfectly 
 sedate, although he had to his apprehensions scarcely any hope of salva 
 tion. 
 
 " I observed him to appear remarkably composed ; and thereupon 
 asked him how he did? He replied, It is done, it is done, it is all don< 
 now. I asked him what he meant ! He answered, I can never do an} 
 more to save myself ; it is all done for ever. I can do no more. 
 queried with him, whether he could not do a little more, rather than go t 
 hell ? He replied my heart is dead. I can never help myself. I asked 
 him what he thought would become of him then? He answered 4 I mus 
 go to hell. I asked him if he thought it was right, that God should send 
 him to hell ? He replied Oh it is right. The devil has been in me evei 
 since I was born. I asked him if he felt this when he was in such grea 
 distress the evening before? He answered, No ; I did not then think 
 it was right. I thought God would send me to hell, and that I was then 
 dropping into it ; but my heart quarrelled with God, and would not saj 
 it was right he should send me there ; but now I know it is right, for 1 
 have always served the devil ; and my heart has no goodness in it now; 
 but it is as bad as ever it was, etc. I thought I had scarcely ever seen 
 any person more effectually brought off from a dependence upon his own 
 contrivances and endeavors for salvation, or more apparently to lie at the 
 foot of sovereign mercy, than this man did, under these views of things. 
 
 " In this frame of mind he continued for several days, passing sentence 
 of condemnation upon himself, and constantly owning that it would be 
 right that he should be damned, and that he expected this would be his 
 portion for the greatness of his sins. Yet it was plain that he had a secret 
 hope of mercy, though imperceptible to himself, which kept him not only 
 from despair, but from any pressing distress ; so that, instead of being 
 sad and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable. 
 
 " While he was in this frame, he several times asked me, When I 
 would preach again? and seemed desirous to hear the word of God 
 every day. I asked, Why he wanted to hear me preach, seeing his 
 heart was dead, and all was done ; that he could never help himself, and 
 expected that he must go to hell ? He replied, , I love to hear you 
 speak about Christ for all. I added But what good will that do you, if 
 
260 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 you must go to hell at last ? using now his own language with him. having 
 before from time to time labored in the best manner I could to represent 
 to him the excellency of Christ, his all-sufficiency and willingness to save 
 lost sinners, and persons just in his case; although to no purpose, as to 
 yielding him any special comfort. He answered, I would have others 
 come to Christ, if I must go to hell myself. It was remarkable, that he 
 seemed to have a great love for the people of God ; and nothing affected 
 him so much as being separated from them. This seemed to be a very 
 dreadful part of the hell to which he saw himself doomed. It was likewise 
 remarkable, that in this season he was most diligent in the use of all the 
 means for the soul s salvation; although he had the clearest view of the 
 insufficiency of means to afford him help. He would frequently say, 
 Thit all he did signified nothing at all ; and yet was never more constant 
 \\\ doing; attending secret and family prayer daily; and surprisingly dili 
 gent and attentive in hearing the word of God ; so that he neither de 
 spaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his own doings, but used 
 means because appointed of God in order to salvation; and because he 
 would wait upon God in his own way. 
 
 "After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a week, while 
 I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a lively soul-refreshing 
 view of the excellency of Christ and the way of salvation by him ; which 
 melted him into tears, and filled him with admiration, comfort, satisfac 
 tion, and praise to God. Since then, he has appeared to be a humble, 
 devout, and affectionate Christian ; serious and exemplary in his conversa 
 tion and behavior, frequently complaining of his barrenness, his want of 
 spiritual warmth, life, and activity, and yet frequently favored with 
 quickening and refreshing influences. In all respects, so far as I am 
 capable of judging, he bears the marks of one created anew in Christ 
 Jesus to good works. 
 
 " His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to me, when he was with 
 me at the Forks of Delaware in February last. There being an old In. 
 dian at the place where I preached, who threatened to bewitch me, and 
 my religious people who accompanied me there, this man presently chal 
 lenged him to do his worst ; telling him that himself had been as great a 
 conjurer as he; and that notwithstanding, as soon as he felt that word to 
 his heart which these people loved, meaning the word of God, his power 
 of conjuring immediately left him. And so it would you, said he, it 
 you did but once feel it in your heart ; and you have no power to hurt 
 them, nor so much as to touch one of them, etc. So that I may conclude 
 my account of him, by observing, in allusion to what was said of St. 
 Paul, that he now zealously defends and practically preaches the faith 
 which he once destroyed, or at least was instrumental of obstructing. May 
 God have the glory of the amazing change which he has wrought in 
 him ! " 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2 6i 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Brainerd s General Remarks on the work of grace at Crossweeksung. "Attestations" of 
 its genuineness and power from other sources.* 1 
 
 " AT the close of this narrative, I would make a few general remarks 
 upon what, to me, appears worthy of notice, relating to the continued 
 work of grace among my people. 
 
 " I. On the doctrines preached to the Indians. 
 
 " I cannot but take notice, that I have in general, ever since my first com 
 ing among the Indians in New Jersey, been favored with that assistance, 
 which, to me, is uncommon in preaching Christ crucified, and making him 
 the centre and mark to which all my discourses among them were 
 directed. 
 
 " It was the principal scope and drift of all my discourses to this peo 
 ple, for several months together, (after having taught them something of 
 the being and perfections of God, his creation of man in a state of recti 
 tude and happiness, and the obligations mankind were thence under to 
 love and honor him,) to lead them into an acquaintance with their deplo 
 rable state by nature, as fallen creatures ; their inability to extricate and 
 deliver themselves from it; the utter insufficiency of any external reform 
 ations and amendments of life, or of any religious performances of which 
 they were capable, while in this state, to bring them into the favor of 
 God, and interest them in his eternal mercy ; thence to show them their 
 absolute need of Christ to redeem and save them from the misery of their 
 fallen state ; to open his all-sufficiency and willingness to save the chief 
 of sinners; the freeness and riches of divine grace, proposed without 
 money and without price, to all that will accept the offer ; thereupon to 
 press them without delay, to betake themselves to him, under a sense of 
 their misery and undone state, for relief and everlasting salvation; and 
 to show them the abundant encouragement the Gospel proposes to needy, 
 perishing, and helpless sinners in order to engage them so to do. These 
 things, I repeatedly and largely insisted upon from time to time. 
 
 "I have oftentimes remarked with admiration, that whatever subject 
 I have been treating upon, after having spent time sufficient to explain 
 and illustrate the truths contained therein, I have been naturally and 
 easily led to Christ as the substance of every subject. If I treated on 
 
 * As the General Remarks in this chapter were appended by Brainerd to his Journal 
 which terminated June 19, 1746, we insert them here. 
 
262 JfEJlfO/A S OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 the being and glorious perfections of God, I was thence naturally led to 
 discourse of Christ a*s the only way to the Father. If I attempted to 
 open the deplorable misery of our fallen state, it was natural from thence 
 to show the necessity of Christ to undertake for us, to atone for our sins, 
 and to redeem us from the power of them. If I taught the commands of 
 God, and showed our violation of them ; this brought me in the most 
 easy and natural way to speak of, and recommend the Lord Jesus 
 Christ, as one who had magnified the law, which we had broken, and 
 who was become the end of it for righteousness, to every one that be 
 lieves. Never did I find so much freedom and assistance in making all 
 the various lines of my discourses meet together and centre in Christ, as 
 I have frequently done among these Indians. 
 
 * Sometimes when I have had thoughts of offering but a few words 
 upon some particular subject, and saw no occasion, nor indeed much 
 room, for any considerable enlargement, there has at unawares appeared 
 such a fountain of Gospel-grace shining forth in, or naturally resulting 
 from a just explication of it ; and Christ has seemed in such a manner to 
 be pointed out as the substance of what I was considering and explaining; 
 that I have been drawn in a way not only easy and natural, proper and 
 pertinent, but almost unavoidable to discourse of him, either in regard of 
 his undertaking, incarnation, satisfaction, admirable fitness for the work 
 of man s redemption, or the infinite need that sinners stand in of an in 
 terest in him ; which has opened the way for a continued strain of Gospel 
 invitation to perishing souls, to come empty and naked, weary and heavy 
 laden, and cast themselves upon him. 
 
 " As I have been remarkably influenced and assisted to dwell upon the 
 Lord Jesus Christ, and the way of salvation by him, in the general cur 
 rent of my discourses here, and have been, at times, surprisingly furnished 
 with pertinent matter relating to him, and the design of his incarnation ; 
 so I have been no less assisted oftentimes in an advantageous manner of 
 opening the mysteries of divine grace, and representing the infinite ex 
 cellencies, and unsearchable riches of Christ, as well as of recommend 
 ing him to the acceptance of perishing sinners. I have frequently been 
 enabled to represent the divine glory, the infinite preciousness and trans- 
 cendant loveliness of the great Redeemer, the suitableness of his person 
 and purchase to supply the wants, and answer the utmost desires of im 
 mortal souls ; to open the infinite riches of his grace, and the wonderful 
 encouragement proposed in the gospel to unworthy, helpless sinners ; 
 to call, invite, and beseech them to come and give up themselves to him, 
 and be reconciled to God through him : to expostulate with them re 
 specting their neglect of one so infinitely lovely, and freely offered ; 
 and this in such a manner, with such freedom, pertinency, pathos, and 
 application to the conscience, as, I am sure, I never could have made 
 
ME MO IKS OF BRAINERD. 263 
 
 myself master of by the most assiduous application of mind. Frequently, 
 at such seasons, I have been surprisingly helped in adapting my dis 
 courses to the capacities of my people, and bringing them down into such 
 easy and familiar methods of expression, as has rendered them intelligible 
 even to pagans. 
 
 "I do not mention these things as a recommendation of my own per 
 formances ; for I am sure, I found, from time to time, that I had no skill 
 or wisdom for my great work ; and knew not how to choose out accep 
 table words proper to address poor benighted pagans with. But thus 
 God was pleased to help me, not to know anything among them, save 
 Jesus Christ, and him crucified. Thus I was enabled to show them 
 their misery without him, and to represent his complete fitness to redeem 
 and save them. This was the preaching God made use of for the awaken 
 ing of sinners, and the propagation of this work of grace among the 
 Indians. It was remarkable, from time to time, that when I was favored 
 with any special freedom, in discoursing of the ability and willingness 
 of Christ to save sinners, and the need in which they stood of such a 
 Saviour ; there was then the greatest appearance of divine power in 
 awakening numbers of secure souls, promoting convictions begun, and 
 comforting the distressed. 
 
 " I have sometimes formerly, in reading the apostle s discourse to 
 Cornelius, (Acts x.) wondered to see him so quickly introduce the Lord 
 Jesus Christ into his sermon, and so entirely dwell upon him through 
 the whole of it, observing him in this point very widely to differ from 
 many of our modern preachers ; but latterly this has not seemed strange, 
 since Christ has appeared to be the substance of the gospel, and the cen 
 tre in which the several lines of divine revelation meet. Still I am sensi 
 ble that there are many things necessary to be spoken to persons under 
 pagan darkness, in order to make way for a proper introduction of the 
 name of Christ, and his undertaking in behalf of fallen man. 
 
 " II. On the moral effects of preaching Christ crucified. 
 
 "It is worthy of remark, that numbers of these people are brought to 
 a strict compliance with the rules of morality and sobriety, and to a con 
 scientious performance of the external duties of Christianity, by the in 
 ternal power and influence of divine truths the peculiar doctrines of 
 grace upon their minds ; without their having these moral duties fre 
 quently repeated and inculcated upon them, and the contrary vices par 
 ticularly exposed and spoken against. What has been the general strain 
 and drift of my preaching among these Indians, what were the truths I 
 principally insisted upon, and how I was influenced and enabled to dwell 
 from time to time upon the peculiar doctrines of grace, I have already 
 observed in the preceding remarks. Those doctrines, which had the 
 most direct tendency to humble the fallen creature ; to show him 
 
264 MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 the misery of his natural state ; to bring him clown to the foot of sover 
 eign mercy, and to exalt the great Redeemer discover his transcendent 
 excellency and infinite preciousness, and so to recommend him to the 
 sinner s acceptance were the subject-matter of what was delivered in 
 public and private to them, and from time to time repeated and incul 
 cated upon them. 
 
 " God was pleased to give these divine truths such a powerful influence 
 upon the minds of these people, and so to bless them for the effectual 
 awakening of numbers of them, that their lives were quickly reformed, 
 without my insisting upon the precepts of morality, and spending time in 
 repeated harangues upon external duties. There was indeed no room 
 for any kind of discourses but those which respected the essentials of reli 
 gion, and the experimental knowledge of divine things, while there were 
 so many inquiring daily not how they should regulate their external con 
 duct, for that persons who are honestly disposed to comply with duty, 
 when known, may, in ordinary cases, be easily satisfied about, but how 
 they should escape from the wrath they feared, and felt a desert of, ob 
 tain an effectual change of heart, get an interest in Christ, and come 
 to the enjoyment of eternal blessedness ? So that my great work still was 
 to lead them into a further view of their utter undoneness in themselves, 
 the total depravity and corruption of their hearts ; that there was no man 
 ner of goodness in them ; no good dispositions nor desires ; no love to 
 God, nor delight in his commands; but, on the contrary, hatred, enmity, 
 and all manner of wickedness reigned in them. And at the same time to 
 open to them the glorious and complete remedy provided in Christ for 
 helpless perishing sinners, and offered freely to those who have no good 
 ness of their own, no works of righteousness which they have done, to 
 recommend them to God. 
 
 "This was the continued strain of my preaching ; this my great con 
 cern and constant endeavor, so to enlighten the mind, as thereby duly to 
 affect the heart, and, as far as possible, give persons a sense of feeling of 
 these precious and important doctrines of grace, at least, so far as means 
 might conduce to it. These were the doctrines, and this the method of 
 preaching, which were blessed of God for the awakening, and I trust, the 
 saving conversion of numbers of souls ; and which were made the means 
 of producing a remarkable reformation among the hearers in general. 
 
 * When these truths were felt at heart, there was now no vice unre- 
 formed, no external duty neglected. Drunkenness, the darling vice, was 
 broken off from, and scarce an instance of it known among my hearers for 
 months together. The abusive practice of husbands and wives in putting 
 away each other, and taking others in their stead, was quickly reformed ; 
 so that there are three or four couple who have voluntarily dismissed 
 those whom they had wrongfully taken, and now live together in love 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 26^ 
 
 J 
 
 and peace. The same might be said of all other vicious practices. The 
 reformation was general ; and all springing from the internal influence of 
 divine truths upon their hearts; and not from any external restraints, or 
 because they had heard these vices particularly exposed, and repeatedly 
 spoken against. Some of them I never so much as mentioned ; particu 
 larly, that of the parting of men and their wives, till some, having their 
 conscience awakened by God s word, came, and of their own accord, con 
 fessed themselves guilty in that respect. When I at any time mentioned 
 their wicked practices, and the sins they were guilty of contrary to the 
 light of nature, it was not with a design, nor indeed with any hope, of 
 working an effectual reformation in their external manners by this means 
 for I knew, that while the tree remained corrupt the fruit would naturally 
 be so. My design was to lead them, by observing the wickedness of their 
 lives, to a view of the corruption of their hearts, and so to convince them 
 of the necessity of a renovation of nature, and to excite them with the 
 utmost diligence to seek after that great change ; which, if once obtained, 
 I was sensible, would of course produce a reformation of external manners 
 in every respect. 
 
 " And as all vice was reformed upon their feeling the power of these 
 truths upon their hearts, so the external duties of Christianity were com 
 plied with, and conscientiously performed from the same internal influence ; 
 family prayer set up, and constantly maintained, unless among some few 
 more lately come, who had felt little of this divine influence. This duty 
 was constantly performed, even in some families where there were none 
 but females, and scarce a prayerless person was to be found among near an 
 hundred of them. The Lord s day was seriously and religiously observed, 
 and care taken by parents to keep their children orderly upon that sacred 
 day; and this, not because I had driven them to the performance of these 
 duties, by frequently inculcating them, but because they had felt the 
 power of God s word upon their hearts, were made sensible of their sin 
 and misery, and thence could not but pray, and comply with everything 
 which they knew to be their duty, from what they felt within themselves. 
 When their hearts were touched with a sense of their eternal concerns, 
 they could pray with great freedom, as well as fervency, without being at 
 the trouble first to learn set forms for that purpose. Some of them, who 
 were suddenly awakened at their first coming among us. were brought to 
 pray and cry for mercy with the utmost importunity, without ever being 
 instructed in the duty of prayer, or so much as once directed to a per 
 formance of it. 
 
 " The happy effects of these peculiar doctrines of grace, upon which I 
 have so much insisted, upon this people plainly discover, even to demon 
 stration, that, instead of their opening a door to licentiousness, as many 
 vainly imagine, and slanderously insinuate, they have a directly contrary 
 
266 MEM OIKS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 tendency ; so that a close application, a sense and feeling of them, will 
 have the most powerful influence toward the renovation, and effectual 
 reformation both of heart and life. 
 
 " Happy experience, as well as the word of God, and the example of 
 Christ and his apostles, has taught me, that the very method of preach 
 ing which is best suited to awaken in mankind a sense and lively appre 
 hension of their depravity and misery in a fallen state, to excite them 
 earnestly to seek after a change of heart, as to fly for refuge to free and 
 sovereign grace in Christ as the only hope set before them, is likely to be 
 most successful in the reformation of their external conduct. I have 
 found that close addresses, and solemn applications of divine truth to the 
 conscience, strike at the root of all vice ; while smooth and plausible 
 harangues upon moral virtues and external duties, at best are like to do 
 no more than lop off the branches of corruption, while the root of all vice 
 remains still untouched. 
 
 " A view of the blessed effect of honest endeavors to bring home divine 
 truths to the conscience, and duly to affect the heart with them, has often 
 reminded me of those words of our Lord, which I have thought might be 
 a proper exhortation for ministers in respect of their treating with others, 
 as well as for persons in general with regard to themselves, Cleanse first 
 the inside of the cup and platter, that the outside may be clean also. 
 Cleanse, says he, the inside, that the outside may be clean. As if he had 
 said. The only effectual way to have the outside clean, is to begin with 
 what is within ; and if the fountain be purified, the streams will naturally 
 be pure. Most certain it is, if we can awaken in sinners a lively sense of 
 their inward pollution and depravity their need of a change of heart 
 and so engage them to seek after inward cleansing, their external defile 
 ment will naturally be cleansed, their vicious ways of course be reformed, 
 and their conversation and behavior become regular. 
 
 " Now, although I cannot pretend that the reformation among my 
 people, does, in every instance, spring from a saving change of heart ; 
 yet I may truly say, it flows from some heart-affecting view and sense of 
 divine truths which all have had in a greater or less degree. I do not 
 intend, by what I have observed here, to represent the preaching of mor 
 ality and pressing persons to the external performance of duty, to be alto 
 gether unnecessary and useless at any time ; and especially at times when 
 there is less of divine power attending the means of grace; when, for 
 want of internal influences, there is need of external restraints. It is 
 doubtless among the things that ought to be done, while others are not 
 to be left undone. But what I principally designed by this remark, was 
 to discover a plain matter of fact, viz. : That the reformation, the sobriety, 
 and the external compliance with the rules and duties of Christianity, ap 
 pearing among my people, are not the effect of any mere doctrinal in- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 267 
 
 struction, or merely rational view of the beauty of morality, but from the 
 internal power and influence which the soul humbling doctrines of grace 
 have had upon their hearts. 
 
 "III. On the continuance, renewal, and quickness of the work. 
 
 "It is remarkable, that God has so continued and renewed the 
 showers of his grace here ; so quickly set up his visible kingdom among 
 these people; and so smiled upon them in relation to their acquirement 
 of knowledge, both divine and human. It is now nearly a year since the 
 beginning of this gracious outpouring of the divine Spirit among them ; 
 and although it has often seemed to decline and abate for some short 
 space of time as may be observed by several passages of my Journal, 
 where I have endeavored to note things just as they appeared to me 
 yet the shower has seemed to be renewed, and the work of grace revived 
 again. A divine influence seems still apparently to attend the means of 
 grace, in a greater or less degree, in most of our meetings for religious 
 exercises ; whereby religious persons are refreshed, strengthened, and 
 established,- convictions revived and promoted in many instances, and 
 some few persons newly awakened from time to time. It must be ac 
 knowledged, that for some time past, there has, in general appeared a 
 more manifest decline of this work ; and the divine Spirit has seemed, in 
 a considerable measure, withdrawn, especially with regard to his awaken 
 ing influence so that the strangers who come latterly, are not seized with 
 concern as formerly ; and some few who have been much affected with 
 divine tiuths in time past, now appear less concerned. Yet, blessed be 
 God, there is still an appearance of divine power and grace, a desirable 
 degree of tenderness, religious affection and devotion in our assemblies. 
 
 * As God has continued and renewed the showers of his grace among 
 this people for some time ; so he has with uncommon quickness set up 
 his visible kingdom, and gathered himself a church in the midst of them. 
 I have now baptized, since the conclusion of my last Journal, (or the 
 First Part,) thirty persons fifteen adults and fifteen children. Which 
 added to the number there mentioned,makes seventy-seven persons ; where 
 of thirty-eight are adults, and thirty-nine children, and all within the space 
 of eleven months past. It must be noted, that I have baptized no adults, but 
 such as appeared to have a work of special grace wrought in their hearts ; 
 I mean such as have had the experience not only of the awakening and 
 humbling, but in a judgment of charity, of the renewing and comfirming in 
 fluences of the divine Spirit. There are many others under solemn concern 
 for their souls who, I apprehend, are persons of sufficient knowledge, and 
 visible seriousness, at present, to render them proper subjects of the 
 ordinance of baptism. Yet since they give no comfortable evidence of a 
 saving change, but only appear under convictions of their sin and misery; 
 as the propensity in this people to abuse themselves with strong drink is 
 
268 MEMOIRS OF RRAINEKD. 
 
 naturally very great ; and as some, who at present appear serious and 
 concerned for their souls, may lose their concern, and return to this 
 sin, and so, if baptized, prove a scandal to their profession ; I have 
 thought proper hitherto to defer their baptism. 
 
 " I likewise administered the Lord s supper to a number of persons, 
 who I have abundant reason to think, as I elsewhere observed, were 
 proper subjects of that ordinance, within the space of ten months and ten 
 days, afier my first coming among these Indians in New-Jersey. From 
 the time, when, as I am informed, some of them attending an idolatrous 
 feast and sacrifice in honor to devils, to the time when they sat down at 
 the Lord s table, I trust to the honor of God, was not more than a full 
 year. Surely Christ s little flock here, so suddenly gathered from among 
 pagans, may justly say, in the language of the Church of old, * The Lord 
 hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad. 
 
 " Much of the goodness of God has also appeared in relation to their 
 acquirement of knowledge, both in religion and in the affairs of common 
 life. There has been a wonderful thirst after Christian knowledge pre 
 vailing among them in general, and an eager desire of being instructed in 
 Christian doctrines and manners. This has prompted them to ask many 
 pertinent as well as important questions ; the answers to which have 
 tended much to enlighten their minds, and promote their knowledge in 
 divine things- Many of the doctrines which I have delivered, they have 
 queried with me about, in order to gain further light and insight into 
 them ; particularly the doctrine of predestination ; and have from time 
 to time manifested a good understanding of them, by their answers to the 
 questions proposed to them in my catechetical lectures. 
 
 "They have likewise queried with me, respecting a proper method, as 
 well as proper matter, of prayer, and expressions suitable to be used 
 in that religious exercise ; and have taken pains in order to the per 
 formance of this duty with understanding. They have likewise taken 
 pains, and appeared remarkably apt in learning to sing Psalm-tunes, and 
 are now able to sing with a good degree of decency in the worship of 
 God. They have also acquired a considerable degree of useful knowledge 
 in the affairs of common life ; so that they now appear like rational 
 creatures, fit for human society, free of that savage roughness and brutish 
 stupidity, which rendered them very disagreeable in their pagan state. 
 They seem ambitious of a thorough acquaintance with the English 
 language, and for that end frequently speak it among themselves. Many 
 of them have made good proficiency in their acquirement of it, since my 
 coming among them ; so that most of them can understand a considerable 
 part, and some the substance of my discourses, without an interpreter, 
 being used to my low and vulgar methods of expression, though they could 
 not well understand other ministers. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRALVERD. 269 
 
 "As they are desirous of instruction, and surprisingly apt in the re 
 ception of it, so divine Providence has smiled upon them with regard to 
 the proper means in order to it. The attempts made for the procurement 
 of a school among them have been succeeded, and a kind providence has 
 sent them a schoolmaster of whom I may justly say, I know of no man 
 like minded, who will naturally care for their state. He has generally 
 thirty or thirty-five children in his school : and when he kept an evening 
 school, as he did while the length of the evenings, would admit of it, he 
 had fifteen or twenty people, married and single. 
 
 " The children learn with surprising readiness ; so that their master 
 tells me, he never had an English school which learned, in general, com 
 parably so fast. There were not above two in thirty, although some of 
 them were very small, but that learned to know all the letters in the 
 alphabet distinctly, within three days after his entrance upon his business ; 
 and several in that space of time learned to spell considerably. Some of 
 them, since the beginning of Feburary last, when the school was set up, 
 have learned so much, that they are able to read in a Psalter or Testament, 
 without spelling. They are instructed twice a week in the Assembly s 
 Shorter Catechism, on Wednesday and Saturday. Some of them since 
 the latter end of February, when they began> have learned to say it pretty 
 distinctly by heart, considerably more than half through ; and most of 
 them have made some proficiency in it. They are likewise instructed in the 
 duty of secret prayer, and most of them constantly attend it night and 
 morning, and are very careful to inform their master if they apprehend 
 that any of their little schoolmates neglect that religious exercise. 
 " IV. On the little appearance of false religion. 
 
 " It is worthy to be noted, to the praise of sovereign grace, that amidst 
 so great a work of conviction so much concern and religious affection 
 there has been no prevalence, nor indeed any considerable appearance of 
 false religion, if I may so term it, or heats of imagination, intemperate 
 real, and spiritual pride ; which corrupt mixtures too often attend the re 
 vival and powerful propagation of religion ; and that there have been very 
 few instances of irregular and scandalous behavior among those who 
 have appeared serious. I may justly repeat what I formerly observed, 
 that there has here been no appearance of bodily agonies, convulsions, 
 frightful screamings, swoonings, and the like ; and may now further add, 
 that there has been no prevalence of visions, trances, and imaginations of 
 any kind; although there has been some appearance of something of that 
 nature; an instance of which I have given an account of in my diary for 
 December 26. 
 
 " But this work of grace has, in the main, been carried on with a sur 
 prising degree of purity, and freedom from trash and corrupt mixture. 
 The religious concern under which persons have been, has generally been 
 
2 7 o MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 
 
 rational and just ; arising from a sense of their sins and exposedness to 
 the divine displeasure on account of them ; as v/ell as their utter inability 
 to deliver themselves from the misery which they felt and feared. If 
 there has been, in any instance, an appearance of concern and perturba 
 tion of mind, when the subjects of it knew not why; yet there has been no 
 prevalence of any such thing ; and indeed I scarcely know of any instance 
 of that nature at all. It is very remarkable, that, although the concern of 
 many persons under convictions df their perishing state has been very 
 great and pressing, yet I have never seen anvthing like desperation at 
 tending it in any one instance. They have had the most lively sense of 
 their undoneness in themselves ; have been brought to give up all hopes 
 of deliverance from themselves ; have experienced great distress and an 
 guish of soul ; and yet, in the seasons of the greatest extremity, there has 
 been no appearance of despair in any of them, nothing that has dis 
 couraged, or in anywise hindered them from the most diligent use of all pro 
 per means for their conversion and salvation. Hence it is apparent, that 
 there is not that danger of persons being driven into despair under spirit 
 ual trouble, unless in cases of deep and habitual melancholy, which the 
 world in general is ready to imagine. 
 
 " The comfort which persons have obtained after their distresses, has 
 likewise in general appeared solid, well grounded, and scriptural ; arising 
 from a spiritual and supernatural illumination of mind, a view of divine 
 things, in a measure, as they are, a complacency of soul in the divine 
 perfections, and a peculiar satisfaction in the way of salvation by free 
 sovereign grace in the great Redeemer. Their joys have seemed to rise 
 from a variety of views and considerations of divine things, although for 
 substance the same. Some, who under conviction seemed to have the 
 hardest struggles and heart risings against the divine sovereignty, have 
 seemed, at the first dawn of their comfort, to rejoice in a peculiar manner 
 in that divine perfection ; and have been delighted to think that them 
 selves, and all things else, were in the hands of God, and that he would 
 dispose of them just as he pleased. 
 
 "Others, who just before their reception of comfort have been re 
 markably oppressed with a sense of their undoneness and poverty, who 
 have seen themselves, as it were, falling down into remediless perdition, 
 have been at first more peculiarly delighted with a view of the freeness 
 and riches of divine grace, and the offer of salvation made to perishing 
 sinners without money, and without price. Some have at first appeared 
 to rejoice especially in the wisdom of God, discovered in the way of salva 
 tion by Christ ; it then appearing to them a new and living way/ a way 
 of which they had never thought, nor had any just conceptions, until 
 opened to them by the special influence of the divine Spirit. Some of 
 them, upon a lively spiritual view of this way of salvation, have wondered 
 
ME MO IKS OF BRAINERD. 271 
 
 at their past folly in seeking salvation in other ways, and have wondered 
 that they never saw this way of salvation before, which now appeared so 
 plain and easy, as well as excellent to them. 
 
 ** Others, again, have had a more general vie\v of the beauty and ex 
 cellency of Christ, and have had their souls delighted with an apprehension 
 of his divine glory, as unspeakably exceeding all of which they had ever 
 conceived before ; yet, without singling out any one of the divine perfec 
 tions in particular ; so that although their comforts have seemed to arise 
 from a variety of views and considerations of divine glories, still they were 
 spiritual and supernatural views of them, and not groundless fancies, 
 which were the spring of their joys and comforts. 
 
 " Yet it must be acknowledged, that, when this work became so universal 
 and prevalent, and gained such general credit and esteem among the In 
 dians as Satan seemed to have little advantage of working against it in 
 his own proper garb, he then transformed himself * into an angel of light, 
 and made some vigorous attempts to introduce turbulent commotions of 
 the passions in the room of genuine convictions of sin, imaginary and 
 fanciful notions of Christ, as appearing to the mental eye in a human 
 shape, and in some particular postures, etc. in the room of spiritual and 
 supernatural discoveries of his divine glory and excellency, as well as 
 divers other delusions. I have reason to think, that, if these things had 
 met with countenance and encouragement, there would have been a very 
 considerable harvest of this kind of converts here. 
 
 "Spiritual pride also discovered itself in various instances. Some 
 persons who had been under great affections, seemed very desirous from 
 thence of being thought truly gracious : who, when I could not but ex 
 press to them my fears respecting their spiritual state, discovered their 
 resentments to a considerable degree upon that occasion. There also 
 appeared in one or two of them an unbecoming ambition of being 
 teachers of others. So that Satan has been a busy adversary here, as 
 well as elsewhere. But blessed be God, though something of this nature 
 has appeared, yet nothing of it has prevailed, nor indeed made any con 
 siderable progress at all. My people are now apprised of these things 
 are made acquainted, that Satan in such a manner transformed himself 
 into an angel of light, in the first season of the great outpouring of the 
 divine Spirit in the days of the apostles; and that something of this na 
 ture, in a greater or less degree, has attended almost every revival and 
 remarkable propagation of true religion ever since. They have learned 
 so to distinguish between the gold and dross, that the credit of the latter 
 is trodden down like the mire of the streets; and, as it is natural for 
 this kind of stuff to die with its credit, there is now scarce any ap 
 pearance of it among them. 
 
 " As there has been no prevalence of irregular heats, imaginary no- 
 
272 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 tions, spiritual pride, and Satanical delusions among my people ; so there 
 have been very few instances of scandalous and irregular behavior among 
 those who have made a profession, or even an appearance of serious 
 ness. I do not know of more than three or four such persons who have 
 been guilty of any open misconduct, since their first acquaintance with 
 Christianity ; and not one who persists in anything of that nature. Per 
 haps the remarkable purity of this work in the latter respect, its freedom 
 from frequent instances of scandal, is very much owing to its purity in the 
 former respect, its freedom from corrupt mixtures of spiritual pride, 
 wild fire, and delusion, which naturally lay a foundation for scandalous 
 practices. 
 
 " May this blessed work in the power and purity of it prevail among 
 the poor Indians here, as well as spread elsewhere, till their remotest 
 tribes shall see the salvation of God ! Amen." 
 
 [We subjoin here, in confirmation of Brainerd s own nar 
 rative, the following "Attestations" from ministers of emi 
 nence, living near the scene of his labors, and conversant with 
 its character and results ; and also from the officers of the 
 Presbyterian Church of Freehold, N. J. J. M. S.] 
 
 FROM REV. WILLIAM TENNENT. 
 
 " SINCE my dear and Rev. Brother Brainerd, has at length 
 consented to the publication of his Journal, I gladly embrace 
 this opportunity of testifying, that our altogether glorious 
 Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, has given such a display of 
 his almighty power and sovereign grace, not only in the ex 
 ternal reformation but, [in a judgment of charity,] the saving 
 conversion of a considerable number of Indians, that it is 
 really wonderful to all beholders ! though some, alas ! not- 
 w thitanding sufficient grounds of conviction to the contrary, 
 do join with the devil, that avowed enemy of God and man, 
 in endeavoring to prevent this glorious work, by such ways 
 and means as are mentioned in the aforesaid Journal, to which 
 I must refer the reader for a faithful, though very brief, 
 account of the time when, the place where, the means by 
 which, and manner how, this wished for work has been begun 
 and carried on, by the great Head of the Church. This I 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 273 
 
 can the more confidently do, not only because I am intimately 
 acquainted with the author, but on account of my own personal 
 knowledge of the matters of fact recorded in it respecting 
 the work itself. As I live not far from the Indians, I have 
 been much conversant with them, both at their own place, 
 and in my own parish, where they generally convene for 
 public worship in Mr. Brainerd s absence ; and I think it 
 my duty to acknowledge, that their conversation hath often, 
 under God, refreshed my soul. 
 
 " To conclude, it is my opinion, that the change wrought 
 in those savages, namely, from the darkness of paganism, to 
 the knowledge of the pure gospel of Christ ; from sacrificing 
 to devils, to * present themselves, body and soul, a living 
 sacrifice to God, and that not only from the persuasion of 
 their minister, but from a clear heart-affecting sense of its 
 being their reasonable service ; this change I say is so great, 
 that none could effect it but he who worketh all things after 
 the good pleasure of his own will. I would humbly hope 
 that this is only the first fruits of a much greater harvest to 
 be brought in from among the Indians, by him, who has prom 
 ised to give his Son * the Heathen for his inheritance, and 
 the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession : who 
 hath also declared, * that the whole earth shall be filled with 
 the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea. Even 
 so, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen and amen. 
 " I am, courteous reader, 
 
 " thy soul s well-wisher, 
 
 " WILLIAM TENNENT. 
 " FREEHOLD, August 16, 1746." 
 
 FROM REV. CHARLES MACNIGHT. 
 
 " As it must needs afford a sacred pleasure to such as 
 cordially desire the prosperity and advancement of the 
 Redeemer s kingdom and interest in the world, to hear, that 
 our merciful and gracious God is in very deed fulfilling such 
 
274 MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 precious promises as relate to the poor heathen, by sending 
 his everlasting gospel among them, which, with concurrence 
 of his holy Spirit, is removing that worse than Egyptian dark 
 ness, whereby the god of this world has long held them in 
 willing subjection ; so this narrative will perhaps be more 
 acceptable to the world, when it is confirmed by the testimony 
 of such as were either eye-witnesses of this glorious dawn of 
 gospel-light among the benighted pagans, or personally 
 acquainted with those of them, in whom, in a judgment of 
 charity, a gracious change has been wrought. Therefore, I 
 the more willingly join with my brethren Mr. William 
 Tennent, and Mr. Brainerd, in affixing my attestation to 
 the foregoing narrative ; and look upon myself as concerned 
 in point of duty both to God and his people, to do so, because 
 I live contiguous to their settlement, and have had frequent 
 opportunities of being present at their religious meetings ; 
 where I have with pleasing wonder, beheld what I am strongly 
 inclined to believe were the effects of God s almighty power 
 accompanying his own truths ; more especially, on the 8th 
 day of August, 1745. While the word of God was preached 
 by Mr. Brainerd, there appeared an uncommon solemnity 
 among the Indians in general ; but, I am wholly unable to 
 give a full representation of the surprising effects of God s 
 almighty power which appeared among them when public 
 service was over. While Mr. Brainerd urged upon some of 
 them the absolute necessity of a speedy closure with Christ, 
 the holy Spirit seemed to be poured out upon them in a 
 plenteous measure, insomuch as the Indians present in the 
 wigwam seemed to be brought to the jailer s case, Acts xvi. 
 30, utterly unable to conceal the distress and perplexity of 
 their souls. This prompted the pious among them to bring 
 the dispersed congregation together, who soon seemed to be 
 in the greatest extremity. Some were earnestly begging for 
 mercy, under a solemn sense of their perishing condition ; 
 while others were unable to arise from the earth, to the great 
 wonder of those white people that were present, one of whom 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 275 
 
 is by this means, I trust, savingly brought to Christ since. 
 Nay, so very extraordinary was the concern which appeared 
 among these poor Indians in general, that I am ready to con 
 clude, it might have been sufficient to have convinced an 
 Atheist, that the Lord was indeed in the place. I am for my 
 part, fully persuaded that this glorious work is true and 
 genuine, while with satisfaction I behold several of these 
 Indians discovering all the symptoms of inward holiness in 
 their lives and conversation. I had the satisfaction of join 
 ing with them in their service on the nth of August, 1746 : 
 which was a day set apart for imploring the divine blessing 
 on the labors of their minister among other tribes of Indians 
 on the Susquehannah ; in all which they conducted themselves 
 with a very decent and becoming gravity ; and as far as I 
 am capable of judging, they may be proposed as examples of 
 piety and godliness, to all the white people around them, which 
 indeed is justly, marvelous in our eyes, especially consider 
 ing what they lately had been. Oh may the glorious God 
 shortly bring about that desirable time, when our exalted 
 Immanuel shall have the heathen given for his inheritance, 
 and the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession ! 
 
 "CHARLES MACNIGHT. 
 "CROSSWICKS, August 20, 1746." 
 
 FROM THE OFFICERS OF THE CHURCH OF FREEHOLD. 
 
 "We whose names are underwritten, being elders and 
 deacons of the Presbyterian Church in Freehold, do hereby 
 testify, that in our humble opinion, God, even our Saviour, 
 has brought a considerable number of the Indians in these 
 parts to a saving union with himself. Of this we are per 
 suaded from a personal acquaintance with them ; whom we 
 not only hear speak of the great doctrines of the gospel with 
 humility, affection, and understanding, but we see walk, as 
 far as man can judge, soberly, righteously, and godly. We 
 have joined with them at the Lord s supper, and do from our 
 
MEMOIRS OF RRAINERD. 
 
 hearts esteem them as our brethren in Jesus. For these who 
 were not God s people, may now be called the children of 
 the living God ; it is the Lord s doing, and it is marvelous in 
 our eyes. Oh that he may go on conquering and to con 
 quer, until he has subdued all things to himself ! This is 
 and shall be the unfeigned desire and prayer of, 
 
 "WALTER KER, WILLIAM KER, 
 
 ROBERT CUMMINS, ^ SAMUEL KER, 
 DAVID RHE, 1 5 SAMUEL CRAIG. 
 
 JOHN HENDERSON, [ j* 
 JOHN ANDERSON, 
 JOSEPH KER, 
 
 "PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, FREEHOLD, Aug. 16, 1746." 
 
MEAIOJXS OF BRA1NERD. 
 
 277 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Final stage of Brainerd s Missionary Work. Visits the Susquehanna, and up among the 
 Dcla wares. Returns to Cranberry very much prostrated. Continues his Work in 
 great bodily Weakness and Suffering. 
 
 THE hardships which Brainerd had endured, had now obvi 
 ously affected his constitution ; and unfitted him for a life of 
 so much toil and exposure. Of this, he appears not to have 
 been aware, until the case had become hopeless ; and unfor 
 tunately, the circumstances, in which he was placed, were 
 calculated instead of retarding, to hasten the ravages of 
 disease. He lived alone, in the midst of a wilderness ; in a 
 miserable hut, built by Indians ; with few of the necessaries, 
 and none of the comforts of life ; at a distance from civilized 
 society ; without even a nurse or a physician. His labors, 
 also, were sufficient to have impaired a vigorous constitution. 
 It is not surprising, therefore, that his health was gradually, 
 but fatally undermined. 
 
 On June 2oth, as well as on the next day, he was 
 very ill ; though, with great effort, he was enabled to preach 
 to his people on Saturday. His illness continued on the 
 Sabbath, but he preached, notwithstanding, to his people both 
 parts of the day ; and after the public worship was ended, he 
 endeavored to apply divine truths to the consciences of some, 
 and addressed them personally for that end ; several were 
 in tears, and some appeared much affected. But he was ex 
 tremely wearied with the services of the day, and so ill at night, 
 that he could have no bodily rest ; but remarks, that " God was 
 his support, and that he was not left destitute of comfort in 
 him." On Monday he continued very ill ; but speaks of 
 his mind being calm and composed, resigned to the divine 
 dispensations, and content with his feeble state. By the 
 account which he gives of himself, the remaining part of this 
 
278 . MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 week, he continued very feeble, and for the most part dejected 
 in mind. He enjoyed no great freedom nor sweetness in 
 spiritual things ; except that for some very short spaces of 
 time he had refreshment and encouragement, which engaged 
 his heart on divine things ; and sometimes his heart was 
 melted with spiritual affection. 
 
 " Lord s day, June 29. Preached both parts of the day, from John xiv. 
 19: Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more. God was 
 pleased to assist me, to afford me both freedom and power, especially to 
 wards the close of my discourse, both forenoon and afternoon. God s 
 power appeared in the assembly, in both exercises. Numbers of God s 
 people were refreshed and melted with divine things ; one or two com 
 forted, who had been long under distress ; convictions, in divers in 
 stances, powerfully revived ; and one man in years much awakened, who 
 had not long frequented our meeting, and appeared before as stupid as a 
 stock. God amazingly renewed and lengthened out my strength. I was 
 so spent at noon, that I could scarce walk, and all my joints trembled ; so 
 that I could not sit, nor so much as hold my hand still ; and yet God 
 strengthened me to preach with power in the afternoon ; although I had 
 given out word to my people, that I did not expect to be able to do it. 
 Spent some time afterward in conversing, particularly, with several per 
 sons about their spiritual state ; and had some satisfaction concerning one 
 or two. Prayed afterwards with a sick child, and gave a word of exhor 
 tation. Was assisted in all my work. Blessed be God. Returned home 
 with more health, than I went out with ; although my linen was wringing 
 wet upon me, from a little after ten in the morning, till past five in the 
 afternoon. My spirits also were considerably refreshed ; and my soul re 
 joiced in hope, that I had through grace done something for God. In 
 the evening, walked out, and enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer and 
 praise. But oh, I found the truth of the Psalmist s words, My good 
 ness extencleth not to thee ! I could not make any returns to God ; I 
 longed to live only to him, and to be in tune for his praise and service 
 for ever. Oh, for spirituality and holy fervency, that I might spend and 
 be spent for God to my latest moment ! 
 
 "June 30. Spent the day in writing ; but under much weakness and 
 disorder. Felt the labors of the preceding day ; although my spirits 
 were so refreshed the evening before, that I was not then sensible of my 
 being spent. July I. In the afternoon, visited and preached to my 
 people, from Heb. ix. 27: And as it is appointed unto men once to die/ 
 etc., on occasion of some person s lying at the point of death, in my con 
 gregation. God gave me some assistance ; and his word made some im 
 pressions on the audienre, in general. This was an agreeable and com- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINEKD. 279 
 
 fortable evening to my soul ; my spirits were somewhat refreshed, with 
 a small degree of freedom and help enjoyed in my work." 
 
 On Wednesday he went to Newark, to a meeting of the 
 Presbytery ; complains of lowness of spirits ; and greatly 
 laments his spending his time so unfruitfully. The re 
 maining part of the \\eek he spent there, and at Elizabeth- 
 town ; and speaks of comfort and divine assistance, from 
 day to day ; but yet greatly complains for want of more 
 spirituality, 
 
 " Lord s day, July 6. [At Elizabethtown.] Enjoyed some compos 
 ure and serenity of mind, in the morning; heard Mr. Dickinson preach, 
 in the forenoon, and was refreshed with his discourse ; was in a melting 
 frame some part of the time of sermon ; partook of the Lord s supper, 
 and enjoyed some sense of divine things in that ordinance. In the after 
 noon I preached from Ezek. xxxiii. n : As I live, saith the Lord God, 
 etc. God favored me with freedom and fervency, and helped me to 
 plead his cause beyond my own power. 
 
 "July 7. My spirits were considerably refreshed and raised in the 
 morning. There is no comfort, I find, in any enjoyment, without enjoy 
 ing God, and being engaged in his service. In the evening, had the 
 most agreeable conversation which I remember in all my life, upon God s 
 beip.g all in all, and all enjoyments being just that to us which God makes 
 them, and no more. It is good to begin and end with God. Oh how 
 does a sweet solemnity lay a foundation for true pleasure and happiness I 
 
 "July 8. Rode home, and enjoyed some agreeable meditations by 
 the way. July 9. Spent the day in writing, enjoyed some comfort and 
 refreshing of spirit in my evening retirement. July 10. Spent most of 
 the day in writing. Towards night rode to Mr. Tennant s ; enjoyed some 
 agreeable conversation ; went home in the evening, in a solemn, sweet 
 frame of mind ; was refreshed in secret duties, longed to live wholly and 
 only for God, and saw plainly there was nothing in the world worthy of 
 my affection ; so that my heart was dead to all below ; yet not through 
 dejection, as at some times, but from views of a better inheritance. 
 
 " July ii. Was in a calm, composed frame, in the morning, especi 
 ally in the season of my secret retirement. I think, that I was well 
 pleased with the will of God, whatever it was, or should be, in all re* 
 spects of which I had then any thought. Intending to administer the 
 Lord s supper the next Lord s day, I looked to God for his presence and, 
 assistance upon that occasion ; but felt a disposition to say, The will of 
 the Lord be done, whether it be to give me assistance, or not. Spent 
 
2 3o MJ.- .MO/A .S OF BKA1\ERD. 
 
 some little time in writing ; visited the Indians, spent some time in ser 
 ious conversation with them ; thinking it not best to preach, many of 
 them being absent. 
 
 July 12. This day was spent in fasting and prayer by my congrega 
 tion, as preparatory to the sacrament. I discoursed, both parts of the 
 day, from Rom. iv. 25: Who was delivered for our offences/ etc. 
 God gave me some assistance in my discourses, and something of divine 
 power attended the word ; so that this was an agreeable season. After 
 wards led them to a solemn renewal of their covenant, and fresh dedica 
 tion of themselves to God. This was a season both of solemnity and 
 sweetness, and God seemed to be l in the midst of us. Returned to 
 my lodgings, in the evening, in a comfortable frame of mind. 
 
 "Lord s day, July 13. In the forenoon, discoursed on the bread of 
 life, from John vi. 35. God gave me some assistance, in part of my dis 
 course especially ; and there appeared some tender affection in the as 
 sembly under divine truths ; my soul also was somewhat refreshed. Ad 
 ministered the sacrament of the Lord s supper to thirty-one persons of 
 the Indians. God seemed to be present in this ordinance : the communi 
 cants were sweetly melted and refreshed, most of them. Oh how they 
 melted, even when the elements were first uncovered ! There was 
 scarcely a dry eye among them, when I took off the linen, and showed 
 them the symbols of Christ s broken body. Having rested a little, after 
 the administration of the sacrament, I visited the communicants, and 
 found them generally in a sweet loving frame ; not unlike what appeared 
 among them on the former sacramental occasion, on April 27. In the 
 afternoon, discoursed upon coming to Christ, and the satisfaction of 
 those who do so, from the same verse I insisted on in the forenoon. 
 This was likewise an agreeable season, a season of much tenderness, 
 affection, and enlargement in divine service; and God, I am persuaded, 
 crowned our assembly with his divine presence. I returned home much 
 spent, yet rejoicing in the goodness of God. 
 
 "Jttly 14. Went to my people, and discoursed to them from Psal. 
 cxix. 106 : I have sworn, and I will perform it, etc. Observed, i. That 
 all God s judgments or commandments are righteous. 2. That God s 
 people have sworn to keep them ; and this they do especially at the Lord s 
 table. There appeared to be a powerful divine influence on the assembly 
 and considerable melting under the word. Afterwards, I led them to a 
 renewal of their covenant before God, that they would watch over them 
 selves and one another, lest they should fall into sin and dishonor the 
 name of Christ, just as I did on Monday, April 28. This transaction was 
 attended with great solemnity : and God seemed to own it by exciting in 
 them a fear and jealousy of themselves, Jest they should sin against God ; 
 
ME. MO IKS OF BRA I NERD. 2 8 1 
 
 so that the presence of God seemed to be amongst us in thfs conclusion 
 of the sacramental solemnity." 
 
 The next day he set out on a journey to Philadelphia ; 
 and he did not return till Saturday. He went this journey, 
 and spent the week, under a great degree of illness of 
 body and dejection of mind. 
 
 " Lonfs day, July 20. Preached twice to my people from John xvii. 
 24: Father, I will that they also whom thou has given me. be with me, 
 where I am, that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me. 
 Was helped to discourse with great clearness and plainness in the fore 
 noon. In the afternoon, enjoyed some tenderness, and spake with some 
 influence. Numbers were in tears ; and some, to appearance, in dis 
 tress. 
 
 "July 21. Preached to the Indians, chiefly for the sake of some 
 strangers ; proposed my design of taking a journey speedily to the Sus- 
 quehannah ; exhorted my people to pray for me, that God would be with 
 me in that journey ; and then chose divers persons of the congregation 
 to travel with me. Afterwards, spent some time in discoursing to the 
 strangers, and was somewhat encouraged with them. Took care of my 
 people s secular business, and was not a little exercised with it. Had 
 some degree of composure and comfort in secret retirement. July 22. 
 Was in a dejected frame, most of the day ; wanted to wear out life, and 
 have it at an end ; but had some desires of living to God, and wearing 
 out life for him. O that I could indeed do so ! " 
 
 The next day he went to Elizabethtown, to a meeting of 
 Presbytery ; and spent this, and Thursday and a part of Fri 
 day, under a very great degree of melancholy, and gloomi 
 ness of mind, not through any fear of future punishment, but 
 as being distressed with a senselessness of all good, so that 
 the whole world appeared empty and gloomy to him. In 
 the latter part of Friday he was greatly relieved and com 
 forted. 
 
 26. Was comfortable in the morning ; my countenance and 
 heart were not sad, as in days past ; enjoyed some sweetness in lifting up 
 my heart to God. Rode home to my people, and was in a comfortable, 
 pleasant frame by the way ; my spirits were much relieved of their burden, 
 and I felt free to go through all difficulties and labors in my Master s 
 service. 
 
 " Lord s day, July 27. Discoursed to my people in the forenoon, from 
 
282 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 Luke xii. 37, on the duty and benefit of watching. God helped me in 
 the latter part of my discourse, and the power of God appeared in the 
 assembly. In the afternoon, discoursed from Luke xiii. 25, When once 
 the master of the house is risen up, etc. Here also I enjoyed some as 
 sistance ; and the Spirit of God seemed to attend what was spoken, so 
 that there was a great solemnity, and some tears among Indians and 
 others. 
 
 "July 28. Was very weak, and scarce able to perform any business 
 at all ; but enjoyed sweetness and comfort in prayer, both morning and 
 evening; and was composed and comfortable through the day. My mind 
 was intense, and my heart fervent, at least in some degree, in secret 
 duties ; and I longed to spend and be spent for God. 
 
 July 29. My mind was cheerful, and free from the melancholy, 
 with which I am often exercised ; had freedom in looking up to God, at 
 various times in the day. In the evening, I enjoyed a comfortable sea 
 son in secret prayer ; was helped to plead with God for my own dear 
 people, that he would carry on his own blessed work among them ; was 
 assisted also in praying for the divine presence to attend me in my in 
 tended journey to the Susquehannah; and was helped to remember dear 
 brethren and friends in New England. I scarce knew how to leave the 
 throne of grace, and it grieved me that I was obliged to go to bed ; I 
 longed to do something for God, but knew not how. Blessed be God 
 for this freedom from dejection. 
 
 "July 30. Was uncommonly comfortable, both in body and mind ; 
 in the forenoon especially, my mind was solemn ; I was assisted in my 
 work ; and God seemed to be near to me ; so that the day was as com 
 fortable as most I have enjoyed for some time. In the evening, was 
 favored with assistance in secret prayer, and felt much as I did the even 
 ing before. Blessed be God for that freedom I then enjoyed at the throne 
 of grace, for myself, my people, and my dear friends. It is good for me 
 to draw near to God. 
 
 " Aug. i. In the evening, enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer ; 
 clouds of darkness and perplexing care were sweetly scattered, and 
 nothing anxious remained. O how serene was my mind at this season ! 
 how free from that distracting concern I have often felt ! Thy will be 
 done, was a petition sweet to my soul ; and if God had bidden me choose 
 for myself in any affair, I should have chosen rather to have referred the 
 choice to him ; for I saw he was infinitely wise, and could not do any 
 thing amiss, as I was in danger of doing. Was assisted in prayer for my 
 dear flock, that God would promote his own work among them, and that 
 God would go with me in my intended journey to the Susquehannah ; 
 was helped to remember my dear friends in New England, and my dear 
 brethren in the ministry. I found enough in the sweet duty of prayer to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 283 
 
 have engaged me to continue in it the whole night, would my bodily 
 state have admitted of it. O how sweet it is, to be enabled heartily to 
 say, Lord, not my will, but thine be done. 
 
 " Aug. 2. Near night, preached from Matt. xi. 29, Take my yoke 
 upon you, etc. Was considerably helped ; and the presence of God 
 seemed to be somewhat remarkably in the assembly ; divine truths made 
 powerful impressions, both upon saints and sinners. Blessed be God for 
 such a revival among us. In the evening was very weary, but found my 
 spirits supported and refreshed. 
 
 " Lortfs day, Aug. 3. Discoursed to my people, in the forenoon, 
 from Col. iii. 4. and observed, that Christ is the believer s Life. God 
 helped me, and gave me his presence in this discourse ; and it was a 
 season of considerable power to the assembly. In the afternoon, 
 preached from Luke xix. 41, 42, And when he was come near, he be 
 held the city, etc. I enjoyed some assistance ; though not so much as in 
 the forenoon. In the evening I enjoyed freedom and sweetness in secret 
 prayer ; God enlarged my heart, freed me from melancholy damps, and 
 gave me satisfaction in drawing near to himself. Oh that my soul could 
 magnify the Lord, for these seasons of composure and resignation to his 
 will. 
 
 " Aug. 4. Spent the day in writing ; enjoyed much freedom and 
 assistance in my work ; was in a composed and comfortable frame, most 
 of the day ; and in the evening enjoyed some sweetness in prayer. 
 Blessed be God, my spirits were yet up, and I was free from sinking 
 damps ; as I have been in general ever since I came from Elizabethtown 
 last. O what a mercy is this ! 
 
 " Aug. 5. Towards night, preached at the funeral of one of my 
 Christians, from Is. Ivii. 2, He shall enter into peace, etc. I was op 
 pressed with the nervous headache, and considerably dejected ; however, 
 had a little freedom, some part of the time I was discoursing. Was ex 
 tremely weary in the evening ; but notwithstanding, enjoyed some liberty 
 and cheerfulness of mind in prayer ; and found the dejection that I feared, 
 much removed, and my spirits considerably refreshed. 
 
 "Aug. 7. Rode to my house, where I spent the last winter, in order 
 to bring some things I needed for my Susquehannah journey; was re 
 freshed to see that place, which God so marvellously visited with the 
 showers of his grace. O how amazing did the power of God often ap 
 pear there 1 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. 
 
 " Aug. 9. In the afternoon, visited my people ; set their affairs in 
 order, as much as possible, and contrived for them the management of 
 their worldly business ; discoursed to them in a solemn manner and con 
 cluded with prayer. Was comfortable in the evening, and somewhat fer- 
 
284 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 vent in secret prayer ; had some sense and view of the eternal world and 
 found a serenity of mind. O that I could magnify the Lord for any free 
 dom which he affords me in prayer ! 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 10. Discoursed to my people, both parts of the 
 day, from Acts iii. 19, Repent ye therefore, etc. In discoursing of 
 repentance, in the forenoon, God helped me, so that my discourse was 
 searching ; some were in tears, both of the Indians and white people, 
 and the word of God was attended with some power. In the intermis 
 sion, I was engaged in discoursing to some in order to their baptism ; as 
 well as with one who had then lately met with some comfort, after 
 spiritual trouble and distress. In the afternoon, was somewhat assisted 
 again, though weak and weary. Afterwards baptized six persons ; three 
 adults and three children. Was in a comfortable frame in the evening, 
 and enjoyed some satisfaction in secret prayer. I scarce ever in my life 
 felt myself so full of tenderness, as this day. 
 
 "Aug. ii. Being about to set out on a journey to the Susquehannah 
 the next day, with leave of Providence, I spent some time this day in 
 prayer with my people, that God would bless and succeed my intended 
 journey, that he would send forth his blessed Spirit with his word, and 
 set up his kingdom among the poor Indians in the wilderness. While I 
 was opening and applying part of the cxth and iid Psalms, the power of 
 God seemed to descend on the assembly in some measure ; and while I was 
 making the first prayer, numbers were melted, and found some affection 
 ate enlargement of soul myself. Preached from Acts iv. 31, And when 
 they had prayed the place was shaken, etc. God helped me, and my in 
 terpreter also ; there was a shaking and melting among us ; and clivers, I 
 doubt not, were in some measure * filled with the Holy Ghost. After 
 wards, Mr. Macnight prayed ; and I then opened the two last stanzas of 
 the Ixxiid Psalm ; at which time God was present with us ; especially 
 while I insisted upon the promise of all nations blessing the great Re 
 deemer. My soul was refreshed to think that this day, this blessed 
 glorious season, should surely come ; and, I trust, numbers of my dear 
 people were also refreshed. Afterwards prayed ; had some freedom, but 
 was almost spent ; then walked out, and left my people to carry on reli 
 gious exercises among themselves. They prayed repeatedly, and sung, 
 while I rested and refreshed myself. Afterwards, went to the meeting, 
 prayed with, and dismissed the assembly. Blessed be God, this has been 
 a day of grace. There were many tears and affectionate sobs among us 
 this day. In the evening, my soul was refreshed in prayer ; enjoyed 
 liberty at the throne of grace, in praying for my people and friends, and 
 the Church of God in general. Bless the Lord, O my soul." 
 
 The next day he set out on his journey to the Susque- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 285 
 
 Hannah, with six of his Christian Indians with him, whom he 
 had chosen out of his congregation as those he judged most 
 fit to assist in the business he was going upon. He took his 
 way through Philadelphia ; intending to go to the Susquehan- 
 nah far down, where it is settled by the white people, and so 
 to travel up the river to the Indian habitations. This was- 
 much farther about, yet he avoided the mountains, and hideous 
 wilderness, that he had encountered in the nearer ways. He 
 rode this week as far as Charlestown, about thirty miles west 
 ward of Philadelphia, where he arrived on Friday ; and in 
 his way hither, was, for the most part, in a composed, com 
 fortable state of mind. 
 
 " Aug. 16. [At Charlestown.] It being a day kept by the people of 
 the place where I now was, as preparatory to the celebration of the Lord s 
 supper, I tarried ; heard Mr. Treat preach ; and then preached myself. 
 God gave me some good degree of freedom, and helped me to discourse 
 with warmth and application, to the conscience. Afterwards, I was re 
 freshed in spirit, though much tried ; and spent the evening agreeably, 
 having some freedom in prayer, as well as Christian conversation. 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 17. Enjoyed liberty, composure, and satisfaction, 
 in the secret duties of the morning ; had my heart somewhat enlarged in 
 prayer for dear friends, as well as for myself. In the forenoon attended 
 Mr. Treat s preaching, partook of the Lord s supper, five of my people 
 also communicating in this holy ordinance ; I enjoyed some enlargement 
 and outgoing of soul in this season. In the afternoon preached from 
 Ezek. xxxiii. n, Say unto them, as I live, saith the Lord God, etc. 
 Enjoyed not so much sensible assistance as the day before; however, was 
 helped to some fervency in addressing immortal souls. Was somewhat 
 confounded in the evening, because I thought I had done little or nothing 
 for God ; yet enjoyed some refreshment of spirit in Christian conversation 
 and prayer. Spent the evening till near midnight, in religious exercises ; 
 and found my bodily strength, which was much spent when I came from 
 the public worship, something renewed before I went to bed. 
 
 " Aug. 1 8. Rode on my way towards Paxton, on the Susquehannah. 
 Felt my spirits sink towards night, so that I had little comfort. Aug. 19. 
 Rode forward still ; and at night lodged by the side of the Susquehannah. 
 Was weak and disordered both this and the preceding day, and found my 
 spirits considerably damped, meeting with none that I thought godly 
 people. 
 
 " Aug. 20. Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I coughed much 
 
2 86 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 bloody matter this morning, and was under great disorder of body, and 
 not a little melancholy ; but what gave me some encouragement was, I 
 had a secret hope that I might speedily get a dismission from earth, and 
 all its toils and sorrows. Rode this day to one Chamber s, upon the 
 Susquehannah, and there lodged. Was much afflicted in the evening, 
 with an ungodly crew, drinking, swearing, etc. O what a hell would it be, 
 to be numbered with the ungodly ! Enjoyed some agreeable conversation 
 with a traveller, who seemed to have some relish of true religion. 
 
 "Aug. 21. Rode up the river about fifteen miles and there lodged 
 in a family which appeared quite destitute of God. Labored to dis 
 course with the man about the life of religion, but found him very artful 
 in evading such conversation. O what a death it is to some, to hear of 
 the things of God ! Was out of my element ; but was not so dejected as 
 at some times. 
 
 " Aug. 22. Continued my course up the river ; my people now be 
 ing with me, who before were parted from me ; travelled above all the 
 English settlements ; at night lodged in the open woods and slept with 
 more comfort than while among an ungodly company of white people. 
 Enjoyed some liberty in secret prayer, this evening ; and was helped to 
 remember dear friends, as well as my dear flock, and the church of God 
 in general. 
 
 " Atig. 23. Arrived at the Indian town, called Shaumoking, near 
 night, was not so dejected as formerly ; but yet somewhat exercised. 
 Felt somewhat composed in the evening ; enjoyed some freedom in leav 
 ing my all with God. Through the great goodness of God, I enjoyed 
 some liberty of mind ; and was not distressed with a despondency, as 
 frequently heretofore. 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 24. Towards noon, visited some of the Delawares, 
 and discoursed with them about Christianity. In the afternoon dis^ 
 coursed to the king, and others, upon divine things ; who seemed dis 
 posed to hear. Spent most of the day in these exercises. In the even 
 ing enjoyed some comfort and satisfaction ; and especially had some 
 sweetness in secret prayer. This duty was made so agreeable to me, 
 that I loved to walk abroad, and repeatedly engage in it. Oh, how com 
 fortable is a little glimpse of God ! 
 
 "Aug. 25. Spent most of the day in writing. Sent out my people 
 that were with me, to talk with the Indians, and contract a friendship 
 and familiarity with them, that I might have a better opportunity of 
 treating with them about Christianity. Some good seemed to be done by 
 their visit this day, divers appeared willing to hearken to Christianity. 
 My spirits were a little refreshed this evening ; and I found sonic liberty 
 and satisfaction in prayer. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 287 
 
 "Aug. 26. About noon, discoursed to a considerable number of In 
 dians. God helped me, I am persuaded ; for I was enabled to speak 
 with much plainness, and some warmth and power ; and the discourse had 
 impression upon some, and made them appear very serious. I thought 
 things now appeared as encouraging, as they did at Crossweeks. At the 
 time of mv first visit to those Indians, I was a little encouraged ; I 
 pressed things with all my might ; and called out my people, who were 
 then present, to give in their testimony for God ; which they did. To 
 wards night, was refreshed ; had a heart to pray for the setting up of 
 God s kingdom here, as well as for my dear congregation below, and my 
 dear friends elsewhere. 
 
 " Aug. 27. There having been a thick smoke in the house where I 
 lodged all night before, whereby I was almost choked, I was this morn 
 ing distressed with pains in my head and neck, and could have no rest. 
 In the morning, the smoke was still the same ; and a cold easterly storm 
 gathering, I could neither live within doors, nor without, a long time to 
 gether. I was pierced with the rawness of the air abroad, and in the 
 house distressed with the smoke. I was this day in great distress, and 
 had not health enough to do anything to any purpose. 
 
 "Aug. 28. In the afternoon, I was under great concern of mind 
 about my work. Was visited by some who desired to hear me preach ; 
 discoursed to them, in the afternoon, with some fervency, and labored to 
 persuade them to turn to God. Was full of concern for the kingdom of 
 Christ, and found some enlargement of soul in prayer, both in secret and 
 in my family. Scarce ever saw more clearly, than this day, that it is God s 
 work to convert souls, and especially poor heathens. I knew, I could 
 not touch them ; I saw I could only speak to dry bones, but could give 
 them no sense of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help ; I 
 could say the work was his ; and if done, the glory would be his. 
 
 " Aug. 29. Felt the same concern of mind, as the day before. En 
 joyed some freedom in prayer, and a satisfaction to leave all with God. 
 Travelled to the Delawares, found few at home, felt poorly; but was able 
 to spend some time alone in reading God s word and in prayer, and en< 
 joyed some sweetness in these exercises. In the evening, was assisted 
 repeatedly in prayer, and found some comfort in coming to the throne of 
 grace. Aug. 30. Spent the forenoon in visiting a trader, who came 
 down the river sick ; and who appeared as ignorant as any Indian. In 
 the afternoon spent some time in reading, writing, and prayer. 
 
 " Lord s day, Aug. 31. Spent much time in the morning in secret 
 duties ; found a weight upon my spirits, and could not but cry to God 
 with concern and engagement of soul. Spent some time also in reading 
 and expounding God s word to my dear family which was with me, as well 
 as in singing and prayer with them. Afterwards spake the word of God, 
 
533 MEMOIRS OF BRA f NERD. 
 
 to some few of the Susquehannah Indians. In the afternoon, felt very 
 weak and feeble. Near night, was somewhat refreshed in mind, with 
 some views of things relating to my great work. O how heavy is my 
 work, when faith cannot take hold of an almighty arm, for the perform 
 ance of it ! Many times have I been ready to sink in this case. Blessed 
 be God that I may repair to a full fountain ? 
 
 " Sept. i. Set out on a journey towards a place called The Great Is 
 land, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, on the northwestern 
 branch of the Susquehannah. Travelled some part of the way, and at 
 night lodged in the woods. Was exceedingly feeble this day, and sweat 
 much the night following. 
 
 " Sept. 2. Rode forward ; but no faster than my people went on foot. 
 Was very weak, on this as well as the preceding days. I was so feeble 
 and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out in the open air ; and 
 some of our company being parted from us, so that we now had no axe 
 with us, I had no way but to climb into a young pine tree, and with my 
 knife to lop the branches, and so made a shelter from the clew. But the 
 evening being cloudy, and very likely for rain, I was still under fears of 
 being extremely exposed ; sweat much in the night so that my linen was 
 almost wringing wet all night. I scarcely ever was more weak and weary, 
 than this evening, when I was able to sit up at all. This was a melan 
 choly situation I was in ; but I endeavored to quiet myself with consider 
 ations of the possibility of my being in much worse circumstances, among 
 enemies, etc. 
 
 " Sept. 3. Rode to the Delaware-town ; found divers drinking and 
 drunken. Discoursed with some of the Indians about Christianity ; ob 
 served my interpreter much engaged and assisted in his work ; some few 
 persons seemed to hear with great earnestness and engagement of soul. 
 About noon, rode to a small town of Shauwaunoes, about eight miles dis 
 tant; spent an hour or two there, and returned to the Delaware-town, and 
 lodged there. Was scarce ever more confounded with a sense of my 
 own unfruitfulness and unfitness for my work, than now. O what a dead, 
 heartless, barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see myself to be ! My 
 spirits were so low, and my bodily strength so wasted, that I could do 
 nothing at all. At length, being much overdone, lay down on a buffalo- 
 skin ; but sweat much the whole night. 
 
 " Sept. 4. Discoursed with the Indians, in the morning, about Chris 
 tianity ; my interpreter, afterwards, carrying on the discourse to a con 
 siderable length. Some few appeared well disposed, and somewhat af 
 fected. Left this place, and returned towards Shaumoking ; and at night 
 lodged in the place where I lodged the Monday night before ; was in very 
 uncomfortable circumstances in the evening, my people being belated, 
 and not coming to me till past ten at night: ; so that I had no fire to dress 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 289 
 
 any victuals, or to keep me warm, or to keep off wild beasts ; and I was 
 scarce evermore weak and worn out in all my life. However, I lay down 
 and slept before my people came up, expecting nothing else but to spend 
 the whole night alone, and without fire. 
 
 " Sept. 5. Was exceeding weak, so that I could scarcely ride ; it 
 seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse, and lie in the open 
 woods ; however, got to Shaumoking, towards night ; felt somewhat of a 
 spirit of thankfulness, that Gocl had so far returned to me; was refreshed 
 to see one of my Christians, whom I left here in my late excursion. 
 
 " Sept. 6. Spent the day in a very weak state ; coughing and spitting 
 blood, and having little appetite for any food I had with me ; was able to 
 do very little, except discourse a while of divine things to my own people, 
 and to some few I met with. Had, by this time, very little life or heart 
 to speak for God, through feebleness of body, and flatness of spirits. Was 
 scarcely ever more ashamed and confounded in myself, than now. I was 
 sensible, that there were numbers of God s people, who knew I was then 
 out upon a design, or at least the pretence of doing something for God, 
 and in his cause, among the poor Indians ; and they were ready to suppose, 
 that I was fervent in spirit ; but O the heartless frame of mind that I felt 
 filled me with confusion ! O methought if God s people knew me ; as God 
 knows, they would not think so highly of my zeal and resolution for God, 
 as perhaps now they do ! I could not but desire they should see how 
 heartless and irresolute I was, that they might be undeceived, and * not 
 think of me above what they ought to think. And yet I thought, if they 
 saw the utmost of my flatness and unfaithfulness, the smallness of my 
 courage and resolution for God, they would be ready to shut me out of 
 their doors, as unworthy of the company or friendship of Christians. 
 
 " Lorifs day, Sept. 7. Was much in the same weak state of body, and 
 afflicted frame of mind, as in the preceding day; my soul was grieved, and 
 mourned that I could do nothing for God. Read and expounded some 
 part of God s word to my own dear family, and spent some time in prayer 
 with them ; discoursed also a little to the pagans ; but spent the Sabbath 
 with a little comfort. 
 
 "Sep. 8. Spent the forenoon among the Indians; in the afternoon, 
 left Shaumoking, and returned down the river, a few miles. Had pro 
 posed to have tarried a considerable time longer among the Indians upon 
 the Susquehannah; but was hindered from pursuing my purpose by the 
 sickness that prevailed there, the weaklv circumstances of my own people 
 that were with me, and especially my own extraordinary weakness, having 
 been exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing up of blood, 
 almost the whole of the journey. I was a great part of the time so feeble 
 and faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able to reach home; 
 and at the same time verv destitute of the comforts, and even the neces- 
 
2 Q o MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 sarics of life ; at least, what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In 
 this journey I sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God with 
 some power, and divine truths made some impressions on divers who 
 heard me ; so that several, both men and women, old and young, seemed 
 to cleave to us, and be well disposed towards Christianity ; but others 
 mocked and shouted, which damped those who before seemed friendly, 
 at least some of them. Yet God, at times, was evidently present, assist 
 ing me, my interpreter, and other dear friends who were with me. God 
 gave, sometimes, a good degree of freedom in prayer for the ingathering 
 of souls there ; and I could not but entertain a strong hope, that the 
 journey should not be wholly fruitless. Whether the issue of it would be 
 the setting up of Christ s kingdom there, or only the drawing of some few 
 persons down to my congregation in New Jersey ; or whether they were 
 now only being prepared for some further attempts, that might be made 
 among them, I did not determine ; but I was persuaded, the journey 
 would not be lost. Blessed be God, that I had any encouragement and 
 hope. 
 
 " Sept. 9. Rode down the river, near thirty miles. Was extremely 
 weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunderstorm. Discoursed with 
 some warmth and closeness to some poor ignorant souls, on the life and 
 power of religion; what were, and what were not the evidences of it. 
 They seemed much astonished, when they saw my Indians ask a blessing, 
 and give thanks at dinner ; concluding that a very high evidence of grace 
 in them ; but were astonished, when I insisted that neither that, nor yet 
 secret prayer, was any sure evidence of grace. O the ignorance of the 
 world! How are some empty outward forms, that may all be entirely 
 selfish, mistaken for true religion, infallible evidences of it. The Lord 
 pity a deluded world ! 
 
 "Sept. 10. Rode near twenty miles homeward. Was much solicited 
 to preach, but was utterly unable, through bodily weakness. Was ex 
 tremely overdone with the heat and showers this day, and coughed up a 
 considerable quantity of blood. Sept. n. Rode homeward ; but was 
 very weak, and sometimes scarcely able to ride. Had a very importunate 
 invitation to preach at a meeting-house I came by, the people being then 
 gathering; but could not, by reason of weakness. Was resigned and 
 composed under my weakness; but was much exercised with concern for 
 my companions in travel, whom I had left with much regret, some lame, 
 and some sick. Sept. 12. Rode about fifty miles; and came, just at 
 night, to a Christian friend s house, about twenty-five miles westward from 
 Philadelphia. Was courteously received, and kindly entertained, and 
 found myself much refreshed in the midst of my weakness and fatigues. 
 Sept. 13. Was still agreeably entertained with Christian friendship, and 
 all things necessary for my weak circumstances. In the afternoon, heard 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 291 
 
 Mr. Treat preach ; and was refreshed in conversation with him in the 
 evening. 
 
 " Lord s day, Sept. 14. At the desire of Mr. Treat and the people, I 
 preached both parts of the day from Luke xiv. 23. And the Lord said 
 unto the servant, go out, etc. God gave me some freedom and warmth in 
 my discourse ; and I trust, helped me in some measure to labor in singleness 
 of heart. Was much tired in the evening, but was comforted with the 
 most tender treatment I ever met with in my life. My mind, through the 
 whole of this day, was exceeding calm; and I could ask for nothing in 
 prayer, with any encouragement of soul, but that the will of God might 
 be done. 
 
 t. 15. Spent the whole day, in concert with Mr. Treat, in en 
 deavors to compose a difference, subsisting between certain persons in 
 the congregation where we now were ; and there seemed to be a blessing 
 on our endeavors. In the evening, baptized a child; was in a calm, com 
 posed frame ; and enjoyed, I trust, a spiritual sense of divine things, 
 while adminstering the ordinance. Afterwards, spent the time in reli 
 gious conversation, till late in the night. This was indeed a pleasant, 
 agreeable evening. 
 
 "Sept. 16. Continued still at my friend s house, about twenty-five 
 miles westward of Philadelphia. Was very weak, unable to perform any 
 business, and scarcely able to sit up. Sept. 17. Rode into Philadelphia. 
 Still very weak, and my cough and spitting of blood continued. Enjoyed 
 some agreeable conversation with friends, but wanted more spirituality. 
 
 "Sept. iS. Went from Philadelphia to Mr. Treat s ; was agreeably 
 entertained on the road ; and was in a sweet, composed frame in the 
 evening. Sept. 19. Rode from Mr. Treat s to Mr. Stockston s, at 
 Princeton : was extremely weak, but kindly received and entertained. 
 Spent the evening with some degree of satisfaction. 
 
 " Sept. 20. Arrived among my own people, near Cranberry, just at 
 night; found them praying together; went in, and gave them some ac 
 count of God s dealings with me and my companions in the journey; 
 which seemed affecting to them. I then prayed with them, and thought 
 the divine presence was amongst us ; divers were melted into tears, and 
 seemed to have a sense of divine things. Being very weak, I was obliged 
 soon to repair to my lodgings, and felt much worn out, in the evening. 
 Thus God has carried me through the fatigues and perils of another 
 journey to the Susquehannah, and returned me again in safety, though 
 under a great degree of bodily indisposition. Oh that my soul were truly 
 thankful for renewed instances of mercy! Many hardships and dis 
 tresses I endured in this journey, but the Lord supported me under them 
 all." 
 
 Hitherto Brainerd had kept a constant diary, giving an 
 
2 9 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 account of what passed from day to day, with very little inter 
 ruption ; but henceforward his diary is very much interrupted 
 by his illness ; under which he was often brought so low, as 
 either not to be capable of writing, or not well able to bear 
 the burden of a care so constant as was requisite to recol 
 lect, every evening, what had passed in the day, and digest it, 
 and set down an orderly account of it in writing. However, 
 his diary was not wholly neglected, but he took care, from 
 time to time, to take some notice in it of the most material 
 things concerning himself and the state of his mind, even till 
 within a few days of his death. 
 
 "Lord s day, Sept. 21, 1746. I was so weak that I could not preach, 
 nor pretend to ride over to my people in the forenoon. In the afternoon 
 rode out ; sat in my chair, and discoursed to my people from Rom. xiv. 
 7, 8. For none of us liveth to himself, etc. I was strengthened and 
 helped in my discourse ; and there appeared something agreeable in the 
 assembly, I returned to my lodgings extremely tired, but thankful, that 
 I had been enabled to speak a word to my poor people, from whom I had 
 been so long absent. Was enabled to sleep very little this night, through 
 weariness and pain. O how blessed should I be, if the little I do were 
 all done with right views ! Oh that, whether I live, I might live to the 
 Lord or whether I die, I might die unto the Lord ; that, whether living 
 or dying, I might be the Lord s ! 
 
 "Sept. 27. Spent this day as well as the whole week past, under a 
 great degree of bodily weakness, exercised with a violent cough, and a 
 considerable fever. I had no appetite for any kind of food; and fre 
 quently brought up what I ate, as soon as it was down ; oftentimes had 
 little rest in my bed, owing to pains in my breast and back. I was able, 
 however, to ride over to my people, about two miles, every day, and take 
 some care of those who were then at work upon a small house for me to 
 reside in among the Indians. I was sometimes scarce able to walk, and 
 never able to sit up the whole day, through the week. Was calm and 
 composed, and but little exercised with melancholy, as in former seasons of 
 weakness. Whether I should ever recover or no, seemed very doubtful ; 
 but this was many times a comfort to me, that life and death did not de 
 pend upon my choice. I was pleased to think, that he who is infinitely 
 wise, had the determination of this matter : and that I had no trouble to 
 consider and weigh things upon all sides, in order to make the choice, 
 whether I should live or die. Thus my time was consumed; I had little 
 strength to pray, none to write or read, and scarce any to meditate ; but 
 through divine goodness, I cou d with great composure look death in the 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 293 
 
 face, and frequently with sensible joy. O how blessed it is, to be habitu 
 ally prepared for death ! The Lord grant, that I may be actually ready 
 also! 
 
 " Lord s d.iy, Sept. 28. Rode to my people ; and, though under much 
 weakness, attempted to preacli from 2 Cor. xiii. 5. Examine yourselves, 
 etc. Discoursed about half an hour ; at which season divine power 
 seemed to attend the word ; but being extremely weak, I was obliged to 
 desist ; and after a turn of faintness, with much difficulty rode to my 
 lodgings ; where betaking myself to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and 
 almost delirous, for several hours, till towards morning my fever went 
 off with a violent sweat. I have often been feverish, and unable to rest 
 quietly after preaching, but this was the most severe, distressing turn, 
 that ever preaching brought upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest in my 
 own mind, because I had made my utmost attempts to speak for God, 
 and knew I could do no more. 
 
 " Sept. 30. Yesterday and to-day, was in the same weak state, or 
 rather weaker than in days past ; was scarce able to sit up half the day. 
 Was in a composed frame of mind, remarkably free from dejection and 
 melancholy ; as God has been pleased, in a great measure, to deliver me 
 from these unhappy glooms, in the general course of my present weakness 
 hitherto, and also from a peevish froward spirit. And O how great a 
 mercy is this ! Oh that I might always be perfectly quiet in seasons of 
 greatest weakness, although nature should sink and fail ! Oh that I may 
 always be able with the utmost sincerity to say, Lord, not my will, but 
 thine be done ! This, through grace, I can say at present, with regard 
 to life or death, The Lord do with me as seems good in his sight ; 
 that whether I live or die, I may glorify Him, who is worthy to receive 
 blessing, and honor, and dominion forever. Amen. 
 
 " Oct. 4. Spent the former part of this week under a great degree of 
 infirmity and disorder, as I had done several weeks before ; was able, 
 however, to ride a little every day, although unable to sit up half the day, 
 till Thursday. Took some care daily of some persons at work upon my 
 house. On Friday afternoon, found myself wonderfully revived and 
 strengthened. Having some time before given notice to my people, and 
 those of them at the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I designed, 
 with the leave of Providence, to administer the sacrament of the Lord s 
 s.ipper upon the first Sabbath in October on Friday afternoon I 
 preached preparatory to the sacrament, from 2 Cor. xiii. 5 ; finishing 
 what I proposed to offer upon the subject the Sabbath before. The 
 sermon was blessed of God to the stirring up religious affection, and a 
 spirit of devotion, in the people of God ; and to greatly affecting one 
 who had backslidden from God, which caused him to judge and con 
 demn himself. I was surprisingly strengthened in my work, while I was 
 
294 MSMOfAS OF BRAIXEKD. 
 
 speaking ; but was obliged immediately after to repair to bed, being now 
 removed into my own house among the Indians; which gave me such 
 speedy relief and refreshment, as I could not well have lived without. 
 Spent some time on Friday night in conversing with my people about 
 divine things, as I lay upon my bed ; and found my soul refreshed, 
 though my body was weak. This being Saturday, I discoursed particu 
 larly with divers of the communicants; and this afternoon preached from 
 Zech. xii. 10. And I will pour on the house of David, etc. There 
 seemed to be a tender melting, and hearty mourning for sin, in numbers 
 in the congregation. My soul was in a comfortable frame, and I enjoyed 
 freedom and assistance in public service ; was myself, as well as most of 
 the congregation, much affected with the humble confession, and ap 
 parent broken-heartedness of the forementioned backslider ; and could 
 not but rejoice, that God had given him such a sense of his sin and un- 
 worthiness. Was extremely tired in the evening ; but lay on my bed, 
 and discoursed to my people. 
 
 " Lorifs day, Oct 5. Was still very weak ; and in the morning consi 
 derably afraid I should not be able to go through the work of the day ; 
 having much to do, both in private and public. Discoursed before the 
 administration of the sacrament, from John i. 29. Behold the Lamb of 
 God, that taketh away the sins of the world. Where I considered, I. 
 In what respects Christ is called the Lamb of God : and observed that 
 he is so called, (i.) From the purity and innocency of his nature. (2.) 
 From his meekness and patience under sufferings. (3.) From his being 
 that atonement which was pointed out in the sacrifice of the lambs, and 
 in particular by the paschal lamb. II. Considered how and in what 
 sense he * takes away the sin of the world : and observed, that the 
 means and manner, in and by which he takes away the sins of men, was 
 his giving himself for them, doing and suffering in their room and 
 stead, etc. And he is said to take away the sin of the world, not because 
 all the world shall actually be redeemed from sin by him ; but because, 
 (r.; lie has done and suffered sufficient to answer for the sins of the 
 world, and so to redeem all mankind. (2.) He actually does take away 
 the sins of the elect world. And, III. Considered how we are to be 
 hold him, in order to have our sins taken away : ( i.) Not with our bodily 
 eyes. Nor, (2,) By imagining him on the cross, etc. But by a spiritual 
 view of his glory and goodness, engaging the soul to rely on him, etc. 
 The divine presence attended this discourse, and the assembly was 
 considerably melted with divine truths. After sermon, baptized two 
 persons. Then administered the Lord s supper to near forty communi 
 cants, of the Indians, besides divers dear Christians of the white people. 
 It seemed to be a season of divine power and grace ; and numbers 
 seemed to rejoice in God. O the sweet union and harmony then appear- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 295 
 
 ing among the religious people ! My soul was refreshed, and my religi 
 ous friends, of the white people, with me. After the sacrament, could 
 scarcely get home, though it was not more than twenty roods ; but was 
 supported and led by my friends, and laid on my bed; where I lay in 
 pain till some time in the evening ; and then was able to sit up and dis 
 course with friends. O how was this day spent in prayers and praises 
 among my dear people ! One might hear them, all the morning before 
 public worship, and in the evening, till near midnight, praying and sing 
 ing praises to God, in one or other of their houses. My soul was re 
 freshed, though my body was weak." 
 
 This week, in two days, though in a very low state, he 
 went to Elizabethtown, to attend the meeting of the Synod 
 there ; but was disappointed by its removal to NewYork. 
 He continued in a very composed, comfortable frame of 
 mind. 
 
 " Oct. ii. Towards night was seized with an ague, which was fol 
 lowed with a hard fever, and considerable pain ; was treated with great 
 kindness ; and was ashamed to see so much concern about so unworthy 
 a creature, as I knew myself to be. Was in a comfortable frame of mind, 
 wholly submissive, with regard to life or death. It was indeed a peculiar 
 satisfaction to me, to think, that it was not my concern or business to de 
 termine whether I should live or die. I likewise felt peculiarly satisfied, 
 while under this uncommon degree of disorder ; being now fully convinced 
 of my being really weak, and unable to perform my work. Whereas 
 at other times my mind was perplexed with fears, that I was a misimprover 
 of time, by conceiting I was sick, when I was not in reality so. O how 
 precious is time ! And how guilty it makes me feel, when I think that I 
 have trifled away and misimproved it, or neglected to fill up each part of 
 it with duty, to the utmost of my ability and capacity ! 
 
 " LonCs day^ Oct. 12. Was scarcely able to sit up in the forenoon; in 
 the afternoon, attended public worship, and was in a composed, comfor 
 table frame. Lord s day, Oct. 19. Was scarcely able to do anything at 
 all in the week past, except that on Thursday I rode out about four miles ; 
 at which time I took cold. As I was able to do little or nothing, so I en 
 joyed not much spirituality, or lively religious affection ; though at some, 
 times I longed much to be more fruitful and full of heavenly affection ; 
 and was grieved to see the hours slide away, while I could do nothing for 
 God. Was able this week to attend public worship. Was composed 
 and comfortable, willing either to die or live; but found it hard to be 
 reconciled to the thoughts of living useless. Oh that I might never live 
 to be a burden to God s creation ; but that I might be allowed to repair 
 home, when my sojourning work is done ! " 
 
2Q5 MEMOIRS OF BRA! NERD. 
 
 This week he went back to his Indians at Cranberry, to 
 take some care of their spiritual and temporal concerns ; and 
 was much spent with riding, though he rode but a little way in 
 a day. 
 
 " Oct. 23. Went to my own house, and set things in order. Was 
 very weak, and somewhat melancholy ; labored to do something, but had 
 no strength ; and was forced to lie down on my bed, very solitary. Oct. 
 24. Spent the day in overseeing and directing my people, about mending 
 their fence, and securing their wheat. Found that all their concerns of a 
 secular nature depended upon me. Was somewhat refreshed in the 
 evening, having been able to do something valuable in the day-time. O 
 how it pains me, to see time pass away, when I can do nothing to any 
 purpose! Oct. 25. Visited some of my people; spent some time in 
 writing, and felt much better in body, than usual. When it was near 
 night, I felt so well, that I had thoughts of expounding ; but in the even 
 ing was much disordered again, and spent the night in couching and spit 
 ting blood. 
 
 " Lorifs day, Oct. 26. In the morning was exceedingly weak ; spent 
 the day, till near night, in pain, to see my poor people wandering as sheep 
 not having a shepherd, waiting and hoping to see me able to preach to 
 them before night. It could not but distress me, to see them in this case, 
 and to find myself unable to attempt anything for their spiritual benefit. 
 But towards night, finding myself a little better, I called them together to 
 my house, and sat down, and read and expounded Matt. v. 1-16. This 
 discourse, though delivered in much weakness, was attended with power 
 to many of the hearers ; especially what was spoken upon the last of these 
 verses ; where I insisted on the infinite wrong done to religion, by having 
 our light become darkness, instead of shining before men. Many in the 
 congregation were now deeply affected with a sense of their deficiency 
 with respect to spiritual conversation, which might recommend religion 
 to others, and a spirit of concern and watchfulness seemed to be excited 
 in them. One, in particular, who had fallen in the sin of drunkenness 
 some time before, was now deeply convinced of his sin, and the great dis 
 honor done to religion by his misconduct, and discovered a great degree 
 of grief and concern on that account. My soul was refreshed to see this. 
 And though I had no strength to speak so much as I would have done, 
 but was obliged to lie down on the bed ; yet I rejoiced to see such an 
 humble melting in the congregation; and that divine truths, though 
 faintly delivered, were attended with so much efficacy upon the auditory. 
 
 " Oct. 27. Spent the day in overseeing and directing the Indians 
 about mending the fence round their wheat ; was able to walk with them 
 
ME.VOIXS OF BRA I NERD. 297 
 
 and contrive their business, all the forenoon. In the afternoon, was 
 visited by two dear friends, and spent some time in conversation with 
 them. Towards night, I was able to walk out, and take care of the In 
 dians again. In the evening, enjoyed a very peaceful frame. 
 
 " Oct. 28. Rode to Princeton, in a very weak state ; had such a 
 violent fever, by the way, that I was forced to alight at a friend s house, 
 and lie down for some time. Near night, was visited by Mr. Treat, Mr. 
 Beaty, and his wife, and another friend. My spirits were refreshed to 
 see them ; but I was surprised, and even ashamed, that they had taken 
 so much pains as to ride thirty or forty miles to see me. Was able to 
 sit up most of the evening ; and spent the time in a very comfortable 
 manner with my friends. 
 
 " Oct. 29. Rode about ten miles with my friends who came yesterday 
 to see me; and then parted with them all but one, who stayed on pur 
 pose to keep me company, and cheer my spirits. Was extremely weak, 
 and very feverish, especially towards night ; but enjoyed comfort and 
 satisfaction. Oct. 30. Rode three or four miles, to visit Mr. Wales; 
 spent some time, in an agreeable manner, in conversation ; and though 
 extremely weak, enjoyed a comfortable, composed frame of mind. Oct. 
 31. Spent the day among friends, in a comfortable frame of mind, 
 though exceedingly weak, and under a considerable fever. Nov. I. 
 Took leave of friends after having spent the forenoon with them, and 
 returned home to my own house. Was much disordered in the evening, 
 and oppressed with my cough ; which has now been constant for a long 
 time, with a hard pain in my breast, and fever. 
 
 Lord s c/ay, N(n>. 2. Was unable to preach, and scarcely able to sit 
 up, the whole day. Was grieved, and almost sunk, to see my poor peo 
 ple destitute of the means of grace ; especially as they could not read, 
 and so were under great disadvantages for spending the Sabbath com 
 fortably. O, mcthought, I could be contented to be sick, if my poor flock 
 had a faithful pastor to feed them with spiritual knowledge! A view of 
 their want of this was more afflictive to me, than all my bodily illness. 
 
 " Nov. 3. Being now in so weak and low a state, that I was utterly 
 incapable of performing my work, and having little hope of recovery, un 
 less by much riding, I thought it my duty to take a long journey into New 
 England, and to divert myself among my friends, whom I had not now 
 seen for a long time. Accordingly I took leave of my congregation this 
 day. Before I left my people, I visited them all in their respective 
 houses, and discoursed to each one, as I thought most proper and suitable 
 for their circumstances, and found great freedom and assistance in so do 
 ing. I scarcely left one house but some were in tears ; and many were 
 not only affected with my being about to leave them, but with the solemn 
 
298 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 addresses I made them upon divine things ; for I was helped to be fer 
 vent in spirit, while I discoursed to them. When I had thus gone 
 through my congregation, which took me most of the day, and, had taken 
 leave of them, and of the school, I left home, and rode about two miles, 
 to the house where I lived in the summer past, and there lodged. Was 
 refreshed this evening, because I had left my congregation so well-dis 
 posed, and affected, and had been so much assisted in making my fare 
 well addresses to them. 
 
 " A r ov. 4. Rode to Woodbridge, and lodged with Mr. Pierson ; con 
 tinuing still in a very weak state. Nov. 5, Rode to Elizabethtown ; 
 intending, as soon as possible, to prosecute my journey into New Eng 
 land. But was, in an hour or two after my arrival, taken much worse. 
 After this, for near a week, I was confined to my chamber, and most of 
 the time to my bed; and then so far revived as to be able to walk about 
 the house ; but was still confined within doors. 
 
 " In the beginning of this extraordinary turn of disorder, after my 
 coming to Elizabethtown, I was enabled through mercy to maintain a 
 calm, composed, and patient spirit, as I had been before from the be 
 ginning of my weakness. Alter I had been in Elizabethtown about a 
 fortnight, and had so far recovered that I was able to walk about the 
 house, upon a day of thanksgiving kept in this place, I was enabled to recall 
 and recount over the mercies of God, in such a manner as greatly af 
 fected me, and filled me with thankfulness and praise. Especially my 
 soul praised God for his work of grace among the Indians, and the en 
 largement of his dear kingdom. My soul blessed God for what he is in 
 himself, and adored him, that he ever would display himself to creatures. 
 I rejoiced that he was God, and longed that all should know it, and feel 
 it, and rejoice in it. * Lord, glorify thyself, was the desire and cry of my 
 soul. O that all people might love and praise the blessed God ; that 
 he might have all possible honor and glory from the intelligent world ! 
 
 " After this comfortable thanksgiving season, I frequently enjoyed 
 freedom, enlargement, and engagedness of soul in prayer, and was 
 enabled to intercede with God for my dear congregation, very often for 
 every family, and every person, in particular. It was often a great com 
 fort to me, that I could pray heartily to God for those, to whom I could 
 not speak, and whom I was not allowed to see. But at other times, my 
 spirits were so flat and low, and my bodily vigor so much wasted that I 
 had scarce any affections at all." 
 
 During his confinement at Elizabethtown, Brainerd wrote 
 the following letter to his youngest brother, then a student at 
 Yale College. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 299 
 
 ELIZABBTHTOWN, New JERSEY, Nov. 24, 1746. 
 
 " DEAR BROTHER : 
 
 " I had determined to make you and my other friends in New Eng 
 land a visit, this fall ; partly from an earnest desire I had to see you and 
 them, and partly with a view *o the recovery of my health; which has 
 for more than three months past, been much impaired. In order to pros 
 ecute this design, I set out from my own people about three weeks ago 
 and came as far as to this place; where, my disorder greatly increasing, I 
 have been obliged to keep house ever since, until the day before yester 
 day; when 1 was able to ride about half a mile, but found myself much 
 tired with the journey. I have now no hopes of prosecuting my journey 
 into New England this winter ; my present state of health will by no 
 means admit of it. Although I am, through divine goodness, much better 
 than I was some days ago ; yet I have not strength now to ride more 
 than ten miles a day, if the season were warm, and fit for me to travel in. 
 My disorder has been attended with several symptoms of consumption ; 
 and I have been at times apprehensive that my great change was at hand ; 
 yet blessed be God I have never been affrighted; but, on the contrary, at 
 times much delighted with a view of its approach. O the blessedness of 
 being delivered from the clogs of flesh and sense, from a body of sin and 
 spiritual diath ! O the unspeakable sweetness of being translated into a 
 state of complete purity and perfection ! believe me, my brother, a lively 
 view and hope of these things, will make the king of terrors himself ap 
 pear agreeable. Dear brother, let me entreat you to keep eternity in 
 your view, and behave yourself as becomes one that must shortly give 
 an account of things done in the body. That God may be your God, and 
 prepare you for his service here, and his kingdom of glory hereafter, is the 
 desire and daily prayer of 
 
 " Your affectionate loving brother, 
 
 "DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 * In December, I had revived so far as to be able to walk abroad, and 
 visit my friends, and seemed to be on the gaining hand with regard to my 
 health, in the main, until Lord s day, December 21. At which time I 
 went to the public worship, and it being sacrament day, I labored much 
 at the Lord s table to bring forth a certain corruption, and have it slain, 
 as being an enemy to God and my own soul ; and could not but hope, 
 that I had gained some strength against this, as well as other corruptions; 
 and felt some brokenness of heart for my sin. 
 
 " After this, having perhaps taken some cold, I began to decline as to 
 bodily health; and continued to do so, till the latter end of January, 1747. 
 Having a violent cough, a considerable fever, an asthmatic disorder, and 
 no appetite for any manner of food, nor any power of digestion, I was re- 
 
3 co MEMOIRS CF B A A INEKD. 
 
 cluced to so low a state, that my friends, I believe, generally despaired of 
 rny life ; and some of them, for some time together, thought I could 
 scarce live a day. At this time, I could think of nothing, with any ap 
 plication of mind, and seemed to be in a great measure void of all af 
 fection, and was exercised with great temptations ; but yet was not, 
 ordinarily, afraid of death. 
 
 " Lord s day, Feb. \. Though in a very weak and low state, I enjoyed 
 a considerable degree of comfort and sweetness in divine things ; and was 
 enabled to plead and use arguments with God in prayer, I think, with a 
 childlike spirit. That passage of scripture occurred to my mind, and 
 gave me great assistance, If ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts 
 to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the holy 
 Spirit to them that ask him? This text I was helped to plead, and in 
 sist upon ; and saw the divine faithfulness engaged for dealing with me 
 better than any earthly parent can do with his child. This season 
 so refreshed my soul, that my body seemed also to be a gainer by it. 
 From this time, I began gradually to amend. As I recovered some 
 strength, vigor, and spirit, I found at times some freedom and life in the 
 exercises of devotion, and some longings after spirituality and a life of 
 usefulness to the interests of the great Redeemer. At other times, I was 
 awfully barren and lifeless, and out of frame for the things of God; so 
 that I was ready often to cry out, Oh that it were with me as in months 
 past ! Oh that God had taken me away in the midst of my usefulness, 
 with a sudden stroke, that I might not have been under a necessity of 
 trifling away time in diversions ! Oh that I had never lived to spend so 
 much precious time, in so poor a manner, and to so little purpose ! 
 Thus I often reflected, was grieved, ashamed, and even confounded, 
 sunk and discouraged. 
 
 " Feb. 24. I was able to ride as far as Newark, (having been con 
 fined within Elizabethtown almost four months,) and the next day re 
 turned to Klizabethtown. My spirits were somewhat refreshed with the 
 ride, though my body was weary. 
 
 " Feb. 28. Was visited by an Indian of my own congregation, who 
 brought me letters, and good news of the sober and good behavior of my 
 people in general. This refreshed mv soul. I could not but soon retire 
 and bless God for his goodness; and found, I trust, a truly thankful frame 
 of spirit, that God seemed to be building up that congregation for him 
 self. 
 
 " March 4. I met with reproof from a friend, which, although I 
 thought I did not deserve it from him, yet was, I trust, blessed of God to 
 make me more tenderly afraid of sin, more jealous over myself, and more 
 concerned to keep both heart and life pure andunblameable. It likewise 
 caused me to reflect on my past deadness and want of spirituality, and to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 301 
 
 abhor myself, and look on myself as most unworthy. This frame of mind 
 continued the next clay ; and for several days after, I grieved to think, 
 that in my necessary diversions I had not maintained more seriousness, 
 solemnity, heavenly affection, and conversation. Thus my spirits were 
 often depressed and sunk; and yet, I trust, that reproof was made to be 
 beneficial to me. 
 
 " March n being kept in Elizabethtown as a day of fasting and prayer, 
 I was able to attend public worship; which was the first time I had been 
 able so to do since December 21. O, how much weakness and distress 
 did God carry me through in this space of time ! But having obtained 
 help from him, I yet live. Oh, that I could live more to his glory ! 
 
 " Lord s day, March 15. Was able again to attend public worship, 
 and felt some earnest desires of being restored to the ministerial work; 
 felt, I think, some spirit and life, to speak for God. March 18. Rode 
 out with a design to visit my people ; and the next day arrived among 
 them; but was under great dejection in my journey. 
 
 " On Friday morning, I rose early, walked about among my people, 
 and inquired into their state and concerns ; and found an additional 
 weight and burden on my spirits, upon hearing some things disagreeable. 
 I endeavored to go to God with my distresses, and made some kind of 
 lamentable complaint ; and in a broken manner spread my difficulties 
 before God ; but notwithstanding, my mind continued very gloomy. 
 About ten o clock I called my people together, and after having explained 
 and sung a psalm, I prayed with them. There was a considerable deal of 
 affection among them ; I doubt not, in some instances, that which was 
 more than merely natural." 
 
 This was the last interview which he ever had with his 
 people. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Parting with his beloved Missionary Flock. Returned to New England. Invited by 
 President Edwards to his home. Long and severe illness in Boston. Final return 
 to Northampton. Last sickness and death. Funeral Services. Sermon by Ed 
 wards. 
 
 On Friday, March 20, 1747, he left Cranberry ; little 
 suspecting that he saw it and his beloved people for the last 
 time. On Saturday he came to Elizabethtown, enfeebled in 
 health, and oppressed with melancholy. Here he continued 
 a considerable time, laboring under the ravages of disease, 
 and suffering from extreme depression of spirit. 
 
 " March 28. Was taken this morning with violent griping pains. 
 These pains were extreme, and constant for several hours ; so that it 
 seemed impossible for me, without a miracle, to live twenty-four hours in 
 such distress. I lay confined to my bed the whole day, and in distressing 
 pain, all the former part of it; but it pleased God to bless means for the 
 abatement of my distress. Was exceedingly weakened by this pain, and 
 continued so for several days following ; being exercised with a fever, 
 cough, and nocturnal sweats. In this distressed case, so long as my head 
 was free of vapory confusions, death appeared agreeable to me. I 
 looked on it as the end of toils, and an entrance into a place where the 
 weary are at rest ; and think I had some relish for the entertainments 
 of the heavenly state; so that by these I was allured and drawn, as well 
 as driven by the fatigues of life. O, how happy it is, to be drawn by 
 desires of a state of perfect holiness !. 
 
 " April 4. Was sunk and dejected, very restless and uneasy, by 
 reason of the misimprovement of time ; and yet knew not what to do. I 
 longed to spend time in fasting and prayer, that I might be delivered 
 from indolence and coldness in the things of God; but, alas, I had not 
 bodily strength for these exercises ! O, how blessed a thing it is to enjoy 
 peace of conscience ! but how dreadful is a want of inward peace and 
 composure of soul ! It is impossible, I find, to enjoy this happiness with 
 out redeeming time, and maintaining a spiritual frame of mind. 
 
 " LonFs day, April 5. It grieved me to find myself so inconceivably 
 barren. My soul thirsted for grace ; but, alas, how far was I from obtain- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 303 
 
 ing what appeared to me so exceeding excellent ! I was ready to despair 
 of ever being a holy creature, and yet my soul was desirous of following 
 hard after God ; but never did I see myself so far from having appre 
 hended, or being already perfect, as at this time. The Lord s supper 
 being this day administered, I attended the ordinance ; and though I saw 
 in myself a dreadful emptiness, and want of grace, and saw myself as it 
 were at an infinite distance from that purity which becomes the gospel, 
 yet at the communion, especially at the distribution of the bread, I en 
 joyed some warmth of affection, and felt a tender love to the brethren; 
 and, I think, to the glorious Redeemer, the first-born among them. I 
 endeavored then to bring forth mine and his enemies, and slay them 
 before him; and found great freedom in begging deliverance from this 
 spiritual death, as well as in asking divine favors for my friends and con 
 gregation, and the church of Christ in general. 
 
 " April 7. In the afternoon rode to Newark, to marry the Rev. Mr. 
 Dickinson;* and in the evening, performed that service. Afterwards 
 rode home to Elizabethtown, in a pleasant frame, full of composure and 
 sweetness. 
 
 " April 9. Attended the ordination of Mr. Tucker, t and afterwards 
 the examination of Mr. Smith ; was in a comfortable frame of mind this 
 day, and felt my heart, I think, sometimes in a spiritual frame, 
 
 * April 10. Spent the forenoon in Presbyterial business. In the 
 afternoon rode to Elizabethtown ; found my brother John there ; \ spent 
 some time in conversation with him ; but was extremely weak and out 
 done, my spirits considerably sunk, and my mind dejected. April 13. 
 Assisted in examining my brother. In the evening, was in a solemn, de 
 vout frame ; but was much overdone and oppressed with a violent head 
 ache. April 14. Was able to do little or nothing ; spent some time with 
 Mr. Byram and other friends. This day my brother went to my people. 
 April 15. Found some freedom at the throne of grace several times 
 this day. In the afternoon, was very weak, and spent the time to very 
 little purpose ; yet in the evening, had, I thought, some religious warmth 
 
 * The late learned and very excellent Rev. Jonathan Dickinson, pastor of a church in 
 Elizabethtown, president of the college of New-Jersey, and one of the correspondents of 
 the honorable society in Scotland for propagating Christian knowledge He had a great 
 esteem for Brninerd; kindly entertained him in his house during his sickness the winter 
 past ; and after a short illness, died the ensuing October, two days before Brainerd. 
 
 t A worthy pious young man ; who lived but a very short time : he died at Stratfi eld, 
 in Connecticut, the December following his ordination, a little while after Brainerd s 
 death at Northampton. 
 
 $ This brother of his had been sent for by the correspondents, to take care of, and 
 instruct Brainerd s congregation of Indians ; he being obliged by his illness tn be absent 
 from them. He continued to take care of them till Brainerd s death: and since his 
 death, has been ordained his successor in his mission, which continues to flourish much, 
 under his pastoral care. 
 
304 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 and spiritual desires in prayer. My soul seemed to go forth after God, 
 and take complacence in his divine perfections. But, alas ! afterwards 
 awfully let down my watch, and grew careless and secure. 
 
 11 Afril 16. Was in bitter anguish of soul, in the morning, such as I 
 have scarce ever felt, with a sense of sin and guilt. I continued in dis 
 tress the whole day, attempting to pray wherever I went ; and indeed 
 could not help so doing ; but looked upon myself so vile, that I dared 
 not look any body in the face ; and was even grieved, that anybody 
 should show me any respect, or that they should be so deceived as to 
 think I deserved it. 
 
 "April 17. In the evening, could not but think that God helped me 
 to draw near to the throne of grace, though most unworthy, and gave 
 me a sense of his favor ; which gave me inexpressible support and en 
 couragement. Though I scarcely dared to hope that the mercy was real, 
 it appeared so great ; yet could not but rejoice, that ever God should 
 discover his reconciled face to such a vile sinner. Shame and confusion, 
 at times, covered me ; and then hope, and joy, and admiration of divine 
 goodness gained the ascendant. Sometimes I could not but admire the 
 divine goodness, that the Lord had not let me fall into all the grossest, 
 vilest acts of sins and open scandal, that could be thought of; and felt so 
 much necessitated to praise God, that this was ready for a little while to 
 swallow up my shame and pressure of spirit on account of my sins. 
 
 * April 20. Was in a very disordered state, and kept my bed most of 
 the day. I enjoyed a little more comfort than in several of the preceding 
 days. This day I arrived at the age of twenty-nine years. April 21. I 
 set out on my journey for New England, in order, (if it might be the will of 
 God,) to recover my health by riding; travelled to New York, and there 
 lodged." 
 
 This proved his final departure from New-Jersey. Hetrav- 
 elled slowly, and arrived among his friends at East-Haddam, 
 about the beginning of May. There is very little account in 
 his diary of the time that passed from his setting out on his 
 journey to May 10. He speaks of his sometimes rinding his 
 heart rejoicing in the glorious perfections of God, and longing 
 to live to him ; but complaining of the unfixedness of his 
 thoughts, and their being easily diverted from divine subjects, 
 and cries out of his leanness, as testifying against him, in the 
 loudest manner. Concerning those diversions which he was 
 obliged to use for his health, he says, that he sometimes 
 found he could use diversions with " singleness of heart," 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 305 
 
 aiming at the glory of God ; but that he also found there was 
 a necessity of great care and watchfulness, lest he should lose 
 that spiritual temper of mind in his diversions, and lest they 
 should degenerate into what was merely selfish, without any 
 supreme aim at the glory of God in them. 
 
 " Lord s day, May ro. [At Had-Lime.*] I could not but feel some 
 measure of gratitude to God at this time, wherein I was much exercised, 
 that he had always disposed me, in my ministry, to insist on the greatest 
 doctrines of regeneration, the new creature, faith in Christ, progressive 
 sanctification, supreme love to God, living entirely to the glory of God, 
 being not our own, and the like. God thus helped me to see, in the 
 surest manner, from time to time, that these, and the like doctrines 
 necessarily connected with them, are the only foundation of safety and 
 salvation for perishing sinners ; and that those divine dispositions, which 
 are consonant hereto, are that holiness, without which no man shall see 
 the Lord. The exercise of these godlike tempers wherein the soul acts 
 in a kind of concert with God, and would be and do everything that is 
 pleasing to him I saw, would stand by the soul in a dying hour ; for 
 God must, I think, deny himself, if he cast away his own image, even the 
 soul that is one in desires with himself. 
 
 "Lord s day, May 17. [At Millington.t] Spent the forenoon at 
 home, being unable to attend public worship. At this time, God gave 
 me such an affecting sense of my own vileness, and the exceeding sinful- 
 ness of my heart, that there seemed to be nothing but sin and corruption 
 within me. Innumerable evils compassed me about ; my want of 
 spirituality and holy living, my neglect of God, and living to myself. All 
 the abominations of my heart and life seemed to be open to my view ; 
 and I had nothing to say, but, God be merciful to me a sinner. Towards 
 noon, I saw, that the grace of God in Christ, is infinitely free towards 
 sinners, and such sinners as I was. I also saw, that God is the supreme 
 good, that in his presence is life ; and I began to long to die, that I might 
 be with him, in a state of freedom from all sin. O how a small glimpse 
 of his excellency refreshed my soul ! Oh how worthy is the blessed God 
 to be loved, adored, and delighted in, for himself, for his own divine ex 
 cellencies ! 
 
 " Though I felt much dullness, and want of a spirit of prayer, this 
 week, yet I had some glimpses of the excellency of divine things ; and 
 especially one morning, in secret meditation and prayer, the excellency 
 and beauty of holiness, as a likeness to the glorious God, was so dis 
 covered to me, that I began to long earnestly to be in that world where 
 
 * A parish of Haddatn. in Connecticut. 
 I A parish of Kast-Haddam, in Connecticut. 
 
306 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 
 
 holiness dwells in perfection. I seemed to long for this perfect holiness, 
 not so much for the sake of my own happiness, although I saw clearly 
 that this was the greatest, yea, the only happiness of the soul, as that I 
 might please God, live entirely to him, and glorify him to the utmost 
 stretch of my rational powers and capacities. 
 
 Lonfs day, May 24. [At Long-Meadow.] Could not but think, as 
 I have often remarked to others, that much more of true religion consists 
 in deep humility, brokenness of heart, and an abasing sense of barrenness 
 and want of grace and holiness, than most who are called Christians, 
 imagine; especially those who have been esteemed the converts of the 
 late day. Many seem to know of no other religion but elevated joys and 
 affections, arising only from some flights of imagination, or some sugges 
 tion made to their mind, of Christ being theirs, God loving them, and the 
 like." 
 
 On Thursday, May 28, he came from Long Meadow to 
 Northampton ; appearing vastly better than, by his account, 
 he had been in the winter ; indeed, so well that he was able to 
 ride twenty-five miles in a day, and to walk half a mile ; and 
 appeared cheerful, and free from melancholy ; but yet un 
 doubtedly, at that time, in a confirmed, incurable consump 
 tion. 
 
 I had much opportunity, before this, of particular informa 
 tion concerning him, from many who were well acquainted 
 with him ; and had myself once an opportunity of consid 
 erable conversation and some acquaintance with him, at New- 
 Haven, near four years before, at the time of the Commence 
 ment, when he offered that confession to the rector of the col 
 lege, which has been already mentioned in this history ; having 
 been one whom he was pleased then several times to consult 
 on that affair ; but now I had opportunity for a more full 
 acquaintance with him. I found him remarkably sociable, 
 pleasant and entertaining in his conversation ; yet solid, sav 
 ory, spiritual, and very profitable. He appeared meek, modest, 
 and humble ; far from any stiffness, moroseness, superstitious 
 demureness, or affected singularity in speech or behavior, 
 and seeming to dislike all such things. We enjoyed not only 
 the benefit of his conversation, but had the comfort and 
 advantage of hearing him pray in the family, from time to 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 307 
 
 time. His manner of praying was very agreeable ; most 
 becoming a worm of the dust, and a disciple of Christ, address 
 ing an infinitely great and holy God, the Father of mercies ; 
 not with florid expressions, or a studied eloquence ; not with 
 any intemperate vehemence, or indecent boldness. It was 
 at the greatest distance from any appearance of ostentation, 
 and from everything that might look as though he meant to 
 recommend himself to those that were about him, or set him 
 self off to their acceptance. It was free also from vain repi- 
 titions, without impertinent excursions, or needless multiply 
 ing of words. He expressed himself with the strictest pro 
 priety, with weight and pungency ; and yet what his lips 
 uttered seemed to flow from the fullness of his heart, as deeply 
 impressed with a great and solemn sense of our necessities, 
 unworthiness, and dependence, and of God s infinite great 
 ness, excellency, and sufficiency, rather than merely from a 
 warm and fruitful brain, pouring out good expressions. I 
 know not that I ever heard him so much as ask a blessing or 
 return thanks at table, but there was something remarkable 
 to be observed both in the matter and manner of the perfor 
 mance. In his prayers, he insisted much on the prosperity 
 of Zion, the advancement of Christ s kingdom in the world, 
 and the flourishing and propagation of religion among the 
 Indians. And he generally made it one petition in his 
 - prayer, " that we might not outlive our usefulness." 
 
 " Lord s day, May 31. [At Northampton.] I had little inward sweet 
 ness in religion, most of the week past ; not realizing and beholding 
 spiritually the glory of God, and the blessed Redeemer ; from whence al 
 ways arise my comforts and joys in religion, if I have any at all ; and if 
 I cannot so behold the excellencies and perfections of God, as to cause 
 me to rejoice in him for what he is in himself, I have no solid foundation 
 for joy. To rejoice, only because I apprehend I have an interest in 
 Christ, and shall be finally saved, is a poor mean business indeed." 
 
 This week, he consulted Dr. Mather, at my house, con 
 cerning his illness ; who plainly told him, that there were 
 great evidences of his being in a confirmed consumption, and 
 that he could give him no encouragement, that he should 
 
308 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 
 
 ever recover. But it seemed not to occasion the least dis 
 composure in him, nor to make any manner of alteration as 
 to the cheerfulness and serenity of his mind, or the freedom 
 or pleasantness of his conversation. 
 
 "Lord s day, June 7. My attention was greatly engaged, and my 
 soul so drawn forth, this day, by what I heard of the exceeding precious- 
 ness of the saving grace of God s Spirit, that it almost overcame my 
 body, in my weak state. I saw that true grace is exceedingly precious 
 indeed ; that it is very rare ; and that there is but a very small degree of 
 it, even where the reality of it is to be found ; at least I saw this to be 
 my case. In the preceding week, I enjoyed some comfortable seasons 
 of meditation. One morning, the cause of God appeared exceedingly 
 precious to me. The Redeemer s kingdom is all that is valuable in the 
 earth, and I could not but long for the promotion of it in the world. I 
 saw, also, that this cause is God s, that he has an infinitely greater regard 
 and concern for it, than I could possibly have ; that if I have any true 
 love to this blessed interest it is only a drop derived from that ocean. 
 Hence I was ready to lift up my head with joy ; and conclude. Well, 
 if God s cause be so dear and precious to him, he will promote it. Thus 
 I did, as it were, rest on God that he would surely promote that which 
 was so ageeable to his own will ; though the time when, must still be left 
 to his sovereign pleasure." 
 
 He was advised by physicians still to continue riding ; as 
 what would tend, above any other means, to prolong his life. 
 He was at a loss, for some time, which way to bend his 
 course next ; but finally determined to ride from hence to 
 Boston ; we having concluded that one of our family should 
 go with him, and be helpful to him in his weak and low state. 
 
 "June 9. I set out on a journey from Northampton to Boston. 
 Travelled slowly, and got some acquaintance with divers ministers on the 
 road. Having now continued to ride for some considerable time to 
 gether, I felt myself much better than I had formerly done ; and found, 
 that in proportion to the prospect I had of being restored to a state of 
 usefulness, so I desired the continuance of life ; but death appeared in 
 conceivably more desirable to me than a useless life; yet, blessed be 
 God, I found my heart, at times, fully resigned and reconciled to this 
 greatest of afflictions, if God saw fit thus to deal with me. 
 
 June 12. I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat fatigued with my 
 journey. Observed that there is no rest, but in God ; fatigues of body, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 309 
 
 and anxieties of mind, attend us both in town and country ; no place is 
 exempted. 
 
 "Lord s day, June 14. I enjoyed some enlargement and sweetness in 
 family prayer, as well as in secret exercises ; God appeared excellent, his 
 ways full of pleasure and peace, and all I wanted was a spirit of holy 
 fervency, to live to him. June 17. This and the two preceding days, I 
 spent mainly in visiting the ministers of the town, and was treated with 
 great respect by them. 
 
 " June 18. I was taken exceedingly ill, and brought to the gates of 
 death by the breaking of small ulcers in my lungs, as my physician sup 
 posed. In this extremely weak state, I continued for several weeks, and 
 was frequently reduced so low, as to be utterly speechless, and not able 
 so much as to whisper a word. Even after I had so far revived, as to 
 walk about the house, and to step out of doors, I was exercised every 
 day with a faint turn, which continued usually four or five hours; at 
 which times, though I was not so utterly speechless, but that I could say 
 Yes, or No, yet I could not converse at all, nor speak one sentence, 
 without making stops for breath ; and divers times this season my 
 friends gathered round my bed to see me breathe my last, which they ex 
 pected every moment, as I myself also did. 
 
 " How I was, the first day or two of my illness with regard to the ex 
 ercise of reason, I scarcely know I believe I was somewhat shattered 
 with the violence of the fever at times; but the third day of my illness, 
 and constantly afterwards, for four or five weeks together, I enjoyed as 
 much serenity of mind, and clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in 
 my life. I think that my mind never penetrated with so much ease and 
 freedom into divine things, as at this time ; and I never felt so capable of 
 demonstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gospel, as 
 now. As I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrines which are justly 
 styled the doctrines of grace, so I saw with no less clearness, that the 
 essence of religion consisted in the soul s conformity to God, and acting 
 above all selfish views, for his glory, longing to be for him, to live to him, 
 and please and honor him in all things ; and this from a clear view of his 
 infinite excellency and worthiness in himself, to be loved, adored, wor 
 shipped and served by all intelligent creatures. Thus I saw, that when 
 a soul loves God with a supreme love, he therein acts like the blessed 
 God himself who most justly loves himself in that manner. So when 
 God s interest and his are become one, and he longs that God should be 
 glorified, and rejoices to think that he is unchangeably possessed of the 
 highest glory and blessedness herein, also, he acts in conformity to God. 
 In like manner when the soul is fully resigned to, and rests satisfied and 
 contents with the divine will, here it is also conformed to God. 
 
 " I saw further, that as this divine temper, by which the soul exalts 
 
3 io MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 God, and treads self in the dust, is wrought in the soul by God s dis 
 covering his own glorious perfections in the face of Jesus Christ to it, by 
 the special influences of the holy Spirit, so he cannot but have regard to 
 it, as his own work ; and as it is his image in the soul, he cannot but 
 take delight in it. Then I saw again, that if God should slight and reject 
 his own moral image, he must needs deny himself; which he cannot do. 
 And thus I saw the stability and infallibility of this religion, and that those 
 who are truly possessed of it, have the most complete and satisfying evi 
 dence of their being interested in all the benefits of Christ s redemption, 
 having their hearts conformed to him ; and that these, these only, are 
 qualified for the employments and entertainments of God s kingdom of 
 glory ; as none but these have any relish for the business of heaven, 
 which is to ascribe glory to God, and not to themselves ; and that God 
 (though I would speak it with great reverence of his name and perfection) 
 cannot, without denying himself, finally cast such away. 
 
 " The next thing I had then to do, was to enquire, whether this was 
 my religion ; and here God was pleased to help me to the most easy remem 
 brance and critical review of what had passed in course of a religious 
 nature, through several of the latter years of my life. Although I could 
 discover much corruption attend ing my best duties, many selfish views and 
 carnal ends, much spiritual pride and self-exaltation, and innumerable 
 other evils which compassed me about; yet God was pleased, as I was 
 reviewing, quickly to put this question out of doubt, by showing me, that 
 I had, from time to time, acted above the utmost influence of mere self- 
 love ; that I had longed to please and glorify him, as my highest happi 
 ness. This review was through grace attended with a present feeling 
 of the same divine temper of mind. I felt now pleased to think of the 
 glory of God, and longed for heaven, as a state wherein I might glorify 
 God perfectly, rather than a place of happiness for myself. This feeling 
 of the love of God in my heart, which I trust the Spirit of God excited in 
 me afresh, was sufficient to give me a full satisfaction, and make me long, 
 as I had many times before done, to be with Christ. I did not now want 
 any of the sudden suggestions, which many are so pleased with, That 
 Christ and his benefits are mine ; that God loves me/ etc, in order to 
 give me satisfaction about my state. No, my soul now abhorred those de 
 lusions of Satan, which are thought to be the immediate witness of the 
 Spirit, while there is nothing but an empty suggestion of a certain fact, 
 without any gracious discovery of the divine glory, or of the Spirit s work 
 in their own hearts. I saw the awful delusion of this kind of confidence, 
 as well as of the whole of that religion, from which they usually spring, or 
 at least of which they are the attendants. The false religion of the late 
 day, though a day of wondrous grace, the imaginations, and impressions 
 made only on the animal affections together with the sudden suggestions 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 3 1 1 
 
 made to the mind by Satan, transformed into an angel of light, of certain 
 facts not revealed in scripture and many suchlike things, I fear, have 
 made up the greater part of the religious appearance in many places. 
 
 " These things I saw with great clearness, when I was thought to be 
 dying. God gave me great concern for his church and interest in the 
 world, at this time; not so much because the late remarkable influence 
 upon the minds of people was abated, as because that false religion 
 those hearts of imagination, and wild and selfish commotions of the animal 
 affections which attended the work of grace, had prevailed so far. This 
 was that which my mind dwelt upon, almost day and night ; and this, to 
 me, was the darkest appearance, respecting religion, in the land; for it 
 was this, chiefly, that had prejudiced the world against inward religion. 
 And I saw the great misery of all was, that so few saw any manner of 
 difference between those exercises which are spiritual and holy, and those 
 which have self-love only for their beginning, centre, and end. 
 
 " As God was pleased to afford me clearness of thought, and com 
 posure of mind, almost continually, for several weeks together, under my 
 great weakness, so he enabled me, in some measure, to improve my time, 
 as, I hope, to valuable purposes. I was enabled to write a number of 
 important letters, to friends in remote places ; and sometimes I wrote 
 when I was speechless, ; . e. unable to maintain conversation with any 
 body ; though perhaps I was able to speak a word or two so as to be 
 heard." 
 
 Among the letters written at this period, were the follow 
 ing. The reader will perceive that they were written by one 
 conscious that he was standing on the verge of the grave and 
 realizing, in no ordinary degree, the infinite importance of 
 eternity. 
 
 To his brother Israel, at College; written in the time of 
 his extreme illness in Boston, a few months before his death. 
 
 " BOSTON, June 30, 1747. 
 "Mv DEAR BROTHER: 
 
 " It is on the verge of eternity I now address you. I am heartily sorry 
 that I have so little strength to write what I long so much to communi 
 cate to you. But, let me tell you, my brother, eternity is another thing 
 than we ordinarily take it to be in a healthful state. O, how vast and 
 boundless ! O, how fixed and unalterable ! Q, of what infinite impor 
 tance is it, that we be prepared for eternity 1 I have been just a dying, 
 now for more than a week ; and all around me have thought me so. I 
 have had clear views of Kternity ; have seen the blessedness of the godly, 
 
3 I2 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINKRD. 
 
 in some measure; and have longed to share their happy state ; as well as 
 been comfortably satisfied, that through grace, I shall do so ; but O, what 
 anguish is raised in my mind, to think of eternity for those who are 
 Christless, for those who are mistaken, and who bring their false hopes 
 to the grave with them ! The sight was so dreadful, I could by no means 
 bear it ; my thoughts recoiled, and I said, under a more affecting sense 
 than ever before, Who can dwell with everlasting burnings ! O, me- 
 t lought, could I now see my friends, that I might warn them to see to it, 
 Mat they lay their foundation for eternity sure. And for you, my dear 
 1 rother, I have been particularly concerned; and have wondered I so 
 much neglected conversing with you about your spiritual state at our last 
 meeting. O, my brother, let me then beseech you now to examine, 
 whether you are indeed a new creature ? whether you have ever acted 
 above self? whether the glory of God has ever been the sweetest and 
 highest concern with you ? whether you have ever been reconciled to all 
 the perfections of God ? in a word, whether God has been your por 
 tion, and a holy conformity to him your chief delight ? If you cannot 
 answer positively, consider seriously the frequent breathings of your soul ; 
 but do not, however, put yourself off with a slight answer. If you have 
 reason to think you are graceless, O, give yourself and the throne of 
 grace no rest, till God arise and save. But if the case should be other 
 wise, bless God for his grace, and press after holiness. 
 
 " My soul longs, that you should be fitted for, and in due time go into 
 the work of the ministry. I cannot bear to think of your going into any 
 other business in life. Do not be discouraged, because you see your 
 elder brothers in the ministry die early, one after another. I declare, 
 now I am dying, I would not have spent my life otherwise for the whole 
 world. But I must leave this with God. 
 
 " If this line should come to your hands soon after the date, I should 
 be almost desirous you should set out on a journey to me; it may be you 
 may see me alive ; which I should much rejoice in. But if you cannot 
 come I must commit you to the grace of God, where you are. May he 
 be your guide and counsellor, your sanctifier and eternal portion ! 
 
 " O, my dear brother, flee fleshly lusts, and the enchanting amuse 
 ments, as well as corrupt doctrines of the present day, and strive to live 
 to God. Take this as the last line from 
 
 " Your affectionate dying brother, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 Letter to a young gentleman, a candidate for the ministry, 
 for whom he had a special friendship ; written at the time of 
 his nearness to death in Boston, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 313 
 
 "VERY DEAR SlR : 
 
 " How amazing it is, that the living, who know they must die, should, 
 notwithstanding, put far away the evil, in a season of health and pros 
 perity ; and live at such an awful distance from a familiarity with the 
 grave, and the great concerns beyond it ! Especially, it may justly fill us 
 with surprise, that any whose minds have been divinely enlightened to 
 behold the important things of eternity as they are, I say, that such 
 should live in this manner. And yet, sir, how frequently is this the 
 case ! How rare are the instances of those who live and act, from day to 
 day, as on the verge of eternity, striving to fill up all their remaining 
 moments, in the service and to the honor of their great Master ! We in 
 sensibly trifle away time, while we seem to have enough of it ; and are 
 so strangely amused, as in a great measure to lose a sense of the holiness 
 and blessed qualifications necessary to prepare us to be inhabitants of 
 the heavenly paradise. But O, dear sir, a dying bed, if we enjoy our 
 reason clearly, will give another view of things. I have now, for more 
 than three weeks, lain under the greatest degree of weakness ; the 
 greater part of the time, expecting daily and hourly to enter into the 
 eternal world ; sometimes have been so far gone, as to be wholly speech 
 less, for some hours together. O, of what vast importance has a holy 
 spiritual life appeared to me at this season ! I have longed to call upon 
 all my friends, to make it their business to live to God ; and especially all 
 that are designed for, or engaged in the service of the sanctuary. O, 
 dear sir, do not think it enough, to live at the rate of common Chris 
 tians. Alas, to how little purpose do they often converse, when they 
 meet together ! The visits, even of those who are called Christians in 
 deed, are frequently extremely barren ; and conscience cannot but con 
 demn us for the misimprovementof time, while we have been conversant 
 with them. But the way to enjoy the divine presence, and to be fitted 
 for distinguishing service for God, is to live a life of great devotion and 
 constant self-dedication to him; observing the motions and dispositions 
 of our own hearts, whence we may learn the corruptions that lodge there, 
 and our constant need of help from God for the performance of the least 
 duty. And O, dear sir, let me beseech you frequently to attend to the 
 great and precious duties of secret fasting and prayer. 
 
 " I have a secret thought, from some things I have observed, that 
 God may perhaps design you for some singular service in the world. O 
 then labor to be prepared and qualified to do much for God. Read Mr. 
 Edwards piece on the affections, again and again ; and labor to distin 
 guish clearly upon experiences and affections in religion, that you may 
 make a difference between the gold and the shining dross. I say, labor 
 here, if ever you would be an useful minister of Christ ; for nothing has 
 put such a stop to the work of God in the late day as the false religion, 
 
2 1 4 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 
 
 and the wild affections which attend it. Suffer me, therefore, finally to 
 entreat you earnestly to give yourself to prayer, to reading and medita 
 tion on divine truths; strive to penetrate to the bottom of them, and 
 never be content with a superficial knowledge. By this means, your 
 thoughts, will gradually grow weighty and judicious; and you hereby 
 will be possessed of a valuable treasure, out of which you may produce 
 4 things new and old, to the glory of God. 
 
 " And now, I commend you to the grace of God, earnestly desiring, 
 that a plentiful portion of the divine Spirit may rest upon you ; that you 
 may live to God in every capacity of life, and do abundant service for 
 him in a public one, if it be his will ; and that you maybe richly qualified 
 for the inheritance of the saints in light. I scarce expect to see your 
 face any more in the body, and therefore entreat you to accept this as the 
 last token of love, from 
 
 " Your sincerely affectionate dying friend, 
 
 " DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 " P. S. I am now, at the dating of this letter, considerably recovered 
 from what I was when I wrote it ; it having lain by me for some time, 
 for want of an opportunity of conveyance ; it was written in Boston. I 
 am now able to ride a little, and so am removed into the country ; but 
 have no more expectation of recovering than when I wrote, though I am 
 a little better for the present; and therefore I still subscribe myself, 
 
 "Your dying friend, 
 
 D. B." 
 
 Letter to his brother John, at Bethel, the town of Chris 
 tian Indians, in New-Jersey ; written likewise at Boston, when 
 he was there on the brink of the grave. 
 
 " DEAR BROTHER : 
 
 I am now just on the verge of eternity, expecting very speedily to ap 
 pear in the unseen world. I feel myself no more an inhabitant of earth, 
 and sometimes earnestly long to depart and be with Christ. I bless 
 God. he has for some years given me an abiding conviction, that it is im 
 possible for any rational creature to enjoy true happiness, without being 
 entirely devoted to him. Under the influence of this conviction I have 
 in some measure acted. Oh that I had done more so ! I saw both the 
 excellency and necessity of holiness in life ; but never in such a manner 
 as now, when I am just brought from the sides of the grave. O, my 
 brother, pursue after holiness; press towards this blessed mark; and let 
 your thirsty soul continually say, I shall never be satisfied till I awake 
 in thy likeness. Although there has been a great deal of selfishness in 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 315 
 
 my views, of which I am ashamed, and for which my soul is humbled at 
 every view; yet, blessed be God, I find I have really had, for the most 
 part, such a concern for his glory, and the advancement of his kingdom 
 in the world, that it is a satisfaction to me to reflect upon these years. 
 
 " And now, my dear brother, as I must press you to pursue after per 
 sonal holiness, to be as much in fasting and prayer as your health will 
 allow, and to live above the rate of common Christians; so I must entreat 
 you solemnly to attend to your public work; labor to distinguish be 
 tween true and false religion ; and to that end, watch the motions of 
 God s spirit upon your own heart. Look to him for help ; and imparti 
 ally compare your experiences with his word. Read Mr. Edwards on 
 the affections ; where the essence and soul of religion is clearly distin 
 guished from false affections.* Value religious joys according to the 
 subject-matter of them : there are many who rejoice in their supposed 
 justification ; but what do these joys argue, but only that they love them 
 selves ? Whereas, in true spiritual joys, the soul rejoices in God for 
 what he is in himself ; blesses God for his holiness, sovereignty, power, 
 faithfulness, and all his perfections ; adores God, that he is what he is, 
 that he is unchangeably possessed of infinite glory and happiness. Now, 
 when men thus rejoice in the perfections of God, and in the infinite ex 
 cellency of the way of salvation by Christ, and in the holy commands of 
 God, which are a transcript of his holy nature ; these j^>ys are divine and 
 spiritual. Our joys will stand by us at the hour of death, if we can be 
 
 * [The extreme modesty and the delicate sensibility of the world-renowned Edwards, 
 are touchingly disclosed in the subjoined brief note. Nothing but a high sense of duty kept 
 him from suppressing Brainerd s reference in the way of commendation to one of his masterly 
 treatises. J. M -S-] 
 
 I had at first fully intended, in publishing this and the foregoing letters, to have sup 
 pressed these passages wherein my name is mentioned, and my discourse on religious 
 affections recommended ; and am sensible, that by my doing otherwise, I shall bring upon 
 me the reproach of some. But how much soever I may be pleased with the commenda 
 tions of any performance of mine, (and I confess I esteem the judgment and approba 
 tion of such a person as Braineid worthy to be valued, and look on myself as highly 
 honored by it,) yet I can truly say, the things that governed me in altering my foremen- 
 tioned determination with respect to these passages, were these two. (i.) What Brainerd 
 here says of that discourse, shows very fully and particularly what his notions were of ex 
 perimental religion, and the nature of true piety, and how far he was from placing it in 
 impressions on the imagination, or any enthusiastical impulses, and how essential in reli 
 gion he esteemed holy practice, etc. For all that have read that discourse, know what 
 sentiments are there expressed concerning those things. (2.) I judged, that the approba 
 tion of so apparent and eminent a friend and example of inward vital religion, and evan 
 gelical piety in the height of it, would probably tend to make that book more serviceable ; 
 especially among some kinds of zealous persons, whose benefit was especially aimed at m 
 the book ; some of which are prejudiced against it, as written in too legal a strain, and 
 opposing some things wherein the height of Christian experience consists, and tending to 
 build men upon their own works. 
 
MEAIO1RS OF BKALVERD. 
 
 then satisfied, that we have thus acted above self ; and in a disinterested 
 manner, if I may so express it, rejoiced in the glory of the blessed God. 
 I fear you are not sufficiently aware how much false religion there is in 
 the world ; many serious Christians and valuable ministers are too easily 
 imposed upon by this false blaze. I likewise fear you are not sensible 
 of the dreadful effects and consequences of this false religion. Let me 
 tell you, it is the devil transformed into an angel of light ; it is a fiend of 
 hell, that always springs up with every revival of religion, and stabs and 
 murders the cause of God, while it passes current with multitudes of well 
 meaning people for the height of religion. Set yourself, my brother, to 
 crush all appearances of this nature, among the Indians, and never en 
 courage any degrees of heat without light. Charge my people in the 
 name of their dying minister, yea, in the name of him who was dead and 
 is alive, to live and walk as becomes the gospel. Tell them how great 
 the expectations of God and his people are from them, and how awfully 
 they will wound God s cause, if they fall into vice ; as well as fatally pre 
 judice other poor Indians. Always insist, that their experiences are 
 rotten, that their joys are delusive, although they may have been rapt up 
 into the third heavens in their own conceit by them, unless the main tenor 
 of their lives be spiritual, watchful, and holy. In pressing these things, 
 thou shalt both save thyself and those that hear thee. 
 
 " God knows I was heartily willing to have served him longer in the 
 work of the ministry, although it had still been attended with all the 
 labors and hardships of past years, if he had seen fit that it should be so : 
 but as his will now appears otherwise, I am fully content, and can with 
 the utmost freedom say, The will of the Lord be done. It affects me 
 to think of leaving you in a world of sin ; my heart pities you, that those 
 storms and tempests are yet before you, from which I trust, through 
 grace, I am almost delivered. But God lives, and blessed be my rock ; 
 he is the same almighty friend ; and will, I trust, be your guide and 
 helper, as he has been mine. 
 
 " And now, my dear brother, I commend you to God and to the 
 word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and give you inheritance 
 among all them that are sanctified. May you enjoy the divine presence, 
 both in private and public; and may the arms of your hands be made 
 strong, by the right hand of the mighty God of Jacob! Which are the 
 passionate desires and prayers of 
 
 " Your affectionate dying brother, 
 
 "DAVID BRAINERD." 
 
 "At this season, also, while I was confined at Boston, I read with 
 care and attention some papers of old Mr. Shepard s, lately come to light, 
 and designed for the press ; and, as I was desired, and greatly urged 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3 1 7 
 
 made some corrections, where the sense was left dark, for want of a word 
 or two. Besides this, I had many visitants, with whom, when I was r,ble 
 to speak, I always conversed of the things of religion ; and was pecu 
 liarly assisted in distinguishing between the true and false religion of the 
 times. There is scarcely any subject, which has been matter of contro 
 versy of late, but I was at one time or other compelled to discuss and 
 show my opinion respecting it ; and that frequently before numbers of 
 people. Especially, I discoursed repeatedly on the nature and necessity 
 of that humiliation, self-emptiness, or full conviction of a person s being 
 utterly undone in himself, which is necessary in order to a saving faith, 
 and the extreme difficulty of being brought to this, and the great danger 
 there is of persons taking up with some self-righteous appearances of it. 
 The danger of this I especially dwelt upon, being persuaded that multi 
 tudes perish in this hidden way ; and because so little is said from most 
 pulpits to discover any danger here : so that persons being never effec 
 tually brought to die in themselves, are never truly united to Christ, and 
 so perish. I also discoursed much on what I take to be the essence of 
 true religion ; endeavoring plainly to describe that god-like temper and 
 disposition of soul, and that holy conversation and behavior, which may 
 justly claim the honor of having God for his original and patron. I 
 have reason to hope God blessed my way of discoursing and distinguish 
 ing to some, both ministers and people ; so that my time was not wholly 
 lost." 
 
 He was much visited, while in Boston, by many persons 
 of considerable note and character, and by some of the first 
 rank ; who showed him uncommon respect, and appeared 
 highly pleased and entertained with his conversation. Beside 
 being honored with the company and respect of ministers of 
 the town, he was visited by several ministers from various 
 parts of the country. He took all opportunities to discourse 
 on the peculiar nature, and distinguishing characteristics of 
 true, spiritual, and vital religion; and to bear his testimony 
 against the various false appearances of it, consisting in, or 
 arising from impressions on the imagination ; sudden and sup 
 posed immediate suggestions of truths not contained in the 
 scripture, and that faith which consists primarily in a person 
 believing that Christ died for him in particular, etc. What 
 he said was, for the most part, heard with uncommon atten 
 tion and regard : and his discourses and reasonings appeared 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 manifestly to have great weight and influence, with many with 
 whom he conversed, both ministers and others.* 
 
 The honorable Commissioners, in Boston, of the incorpo 
 rated society in London for propagating the gospel in New- 
 England and parts adjacent, having newly had committed to 
 them a legacy of the late reverend and famous Dr. Daniel 
 Williams, of London, for the support of two missionaries to 
 the heathen, were pleased, while he was in Boston, to consult 
 him about a mission to those Indians called the Six Nations, 
 particularly about the qualifications requisite in a missionary 
 to those Indians. They were so satisfied with his sentiments 
 on this head, and had such confidence in his faithfulness, his 
 judgment and discretion in things of this nature, that they 
 desired him to undertake to find and recommend two persons 
 fit to be employed in this business ; and very much left the 
 matter with him. 
 
 Several pious and generously disposed gentlemen in 
 Boston, moved by the wonderful narrative of his labors and 
 success among the Indians in New-Jersey, and more especial 
 ly by their conversation with him on the same subject, took 
 opportunity to inquire more particularly into the state and 
 necessities of his congregation, and the school among them, 
 with a charitable intention of contributing something to pro 
 mote the excellent design of advancing the interests of Chris 
 tianity among the Indians. Understanding that there was a 
 want of Bibles for the school, three dozen Bibles were im 
 mediately procured, and 14.7. in bills, (of the old tenor,) given 
 over and above, beside more large benefactions made after 
 wards, which I shall have occasion to mention in their proper 
 place. 
 
 Brainerd s restoration from his extremely low state in 
 Boston, so as to go abroad again and to travel, was very un- 
 
 * I have had advantage for the more full information of his conduct and conversation, 
 the entertainment he met with, and what passed relating to him while in Boston ; as he 
 was constantly attended, during his continuance there, by one of my children, in order to 
 his assistance in his illness. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3 ! g 
 
 expected to him and his friends. My daughter, who was with 
 him, writes thus concerning him, in a letter dated June 23 ; 
 " On Thursday, he was very ill with a violent fever, and ex 
 treme pain in his head and breast, and, at turns, delirious. 
 So he remained till Saturday evening, when he seemed to be 
 in the agonies of death ; the family was up with him till 
 one or two o clock, expecting that every hour would be his 
 last. On Sabbath day he was a little revived, his head was 
 better, but very full of pain, and exceeding sore at his breast, 
 much put to it for breath. Yesterday he was better upon 
 all accounts. Last night he slept but little. This morning 
 he was much worse. Dr, Pynchon says, he has no hopes of 
 his life ; nor does he think it likely that he will ever come 
 out of the chamber ; though he says he may be able to come 
 to Northampton." 
 
 In another letter, dated June 29, she says as follows : 
 " Mr. Brainerd has not so much pain, nor fever, since I 
 last wrote, as before ; yet he is extremely weak and low, 
 and very faint, expecting every day will be his last. He 
 says, it is impossible for him to live ; for he has hardly vig 
 or enough to draw his breath. I went this morning into 
 town, and when I came home, Mr. Bromfield said, he never 
 expected I should see him alive ; for he lay two hours, as 
 they thought, dying ; one could scarcely tell whether he was 
 alive or not ; he was not able to speak for some time ; but now is 
 much as he was before. The doctor thinks he will drop away in 
 such a turn. Mr. Brainerd says he never felt anything so much 
 like dissolution, as that he felt to-day ; and says, he never 
 had any conception of its being possible for any creature to 
 be alive, and yet so weak as he is from day to day. Dr. 
 Pynchon says, he should not be surprised, if he should so re 
 cover as to live half a year ; nor would it surprise him if he 
 should die in half a day. Since I began to write he is not so 
 well, having had a faint turn again ; yet patient and re 
 signed, having no distressing fears, but the contrary." 
 
 It was ordered in divine Providence, that vhe strength of 
 
220 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 
 
 nature held out through this great conflict, so as just to es 
 cape the grave at that turn ; and then he revived, to the as 
 tonishment of all who knew his case. After he began to 
 revive, he was visited by his youngest brother, Israel, a stu 
 dent at Yale College ; who, having heard of his extreme iil- 
 ness, went from thence to Boston, in order to see him, if he 
 might find him alive, which he but little expected. 
 
 This visit was attended with a mixture of joy and sorrow 
 to Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced to see his brother, es 
 pecially because he had desired an opportunity of some reli 
 gious conversation with him before he died. But this meet 
 ing was attended with sorrow, as his brother brought to him 
 the sorrowful tidings of his sister Spencer s death at Had- 
 dam ; a sister, between whom and him had long subsisted a 
 peculiarly dear affection, and much intimacy in spiritual 
 matters, and whose house he used to make his own, when he 
 went to Haddam, his native place. He had heard nothing of 
 her sickness till this report of her death. But he had these com 
 forts, together with the tidings, viz, a confidence of her being 
 gone to heaven, and an expectation of his soon meeting her 
 there. His brother continued with him till he left the town, 
 and came with him from thence to Northampton. Concern 
 ing the last Sabbath Brainerd spent in Boston, he writes in 
 his diary as follows : 
 
 " Lord s day, July 19. I was just able to attend public worship, being 
 carried to the house of God in a chaise. Heard Dr. Sewall preach, in 
 the forenoon ; partook of the Lord s supper at this time. In this sacra 
 ment, I saw astonishing divine wisdom displayed ; such wisdom, as I 
 saw, required the tongues of angels and glorified saints to celebrate. It 
 seemed to me that I never should do anything at adoring the infinite 
 wisdom of God, discovered in the contrivance of man s redemption, until 
 I arrived at a world of perfection ; yet I could not help striving to call 
 upon my soul, and all within me, to bless the name of God. In the 
 afternoon, heard Mr. Prince preach. I saw more of God in the wisdom 
 discovered in the plan of man s redemption, than I saw of any other of 
 his perfections, through the whole day." 
 
 He left Boston the next dav. But before he came away, 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. j2l 
 
 he had occasi Dn to bear a very full, plain, and open testimony 
 against that opinion, that the essence of saving faith lies in 
 believing that Christ died for me in particular ; and that this 
 is the first act of faith in a true believer s closing with 
 Christ. He did it in a long conference he had with a gen 
 tleman, who has very publicly and strenuously appeared to 
 defend that tenet. He had this discourse with him in the 
 presence of a number of respectable individuals who came to 
 visit Brainerd before he left the town, and to take their 
 leave of him. In this debate, he made this plain declaration, 
 at the same time confirming what he said by many arguments, 
 That the essence of saving faith was wholly left out of the 
 definition which that gentleman has published ; and that the 
 faith which he had defined had nothing of God in it, nothing 
 above nature, nor indeed above the power of the devils ; and 
 that all such as had this faith, and no better, though they 
 might have this to never so high a degree, would surely per 
 ish. He declared also, that he never had greater assurance 
 of the falseness of the principles of those who maintained such 
 a faith, and of their dangerous and destructive tendency, or a 
 more affecting sense of the great delusion and misery of those 
 Mho depended on getting to heaven by such a faith, while they 
 had no better, than he lately had when he was supposed to be 
 at the point to die, and expected every minute to pass into 
 eternity. Brainerd s discourse at this time and the forcible 
 reasonings by which he confirmed what he asserted, appeared 
 to be greatly to the satisfaction of those present ; as several 
 of them took occasion expressly to manifest to him, before 
 they took leave of him. 
 
 When this conversation, was ended, having bid an affec 
 tionate farewell to his friends, he set out in the cool of the 
 afternoon, on his journey to Northampton, attended by his 
 brother, and my daughter, who went with him to Boston ; 
 and would have been accompanied out of the town by a num 
 ber of gentlemen, besides that honorable person who gave him 
 his company for some miles on that occasion, as a testimony 
 
322 MEMOIRS OF BRA INERD. 
 
 of their esteem and respect, had not his aversion to anything 
 of pomp and show prevented it. 
 
 "July 25. I arrived here, at Northampton, having set out from Bos 
 ton on Monday. In this journey, I rode about sixteen miles a day, one 
 day with another. Was sometimes extremely tired and faint on the road, 
 so that it seemed impossible for me to proceed any further ; at other 
 times I was considerably better, and felt some freedom both of body and 
 mind. 
 
 " Lord? s day, July. 26. This day I saw clearly that I should never be 
 happy, yea, that God himself could not make me happy, unless I could 
 be in a capacity to * please and glorify him for ever. Take away this, and 
 admit me in all the fine heavens that can be conceived of by men or 
 angels, and I should still be miserable forever." 
 
 Though he had so revived as to be able to travel thus 
 far, yet he manifested no expectation of recovery. He sup 
 posed as his physician did, that his being brought so near to 
 death at Boston, was owing to the breaking of ulcers in his 
 lungs. He told me that he had several such ill turns before, 
 only not to so high a degree, but as he supposed, owing to 
 the same cause, viz. the breaking of ulcers ; that he was 
 brought lower and lower every time ; that it appeared to him, 
 that in his last sickness he was brought as low as it was pos 
 sible, and yet live ; and that he had not the least expecta 
 tion of surviving the next return of this breaking of ulcers; 
 but still appeared perfectly calm in the prospect of death. 
 
 On Wednesday morning, the week after he came to North 
 ampton, he took leave of his brother Israel, never expecting 
 to see him again in this world ; he now setting out from 
 hence on his journey to New-Haven. When he came hither 
 he had so much strength as to be able, from day to day, to 
 ride out two or three miles, and sometimes to pray in the 
 family, but from this time he gradually decayed, becoming 
 weaker and weaker. 
 
 While he was here, his conversation from first to last 
 was much on the same subjects as when in Boston. He 
 spoke much of the nature of true religion in the heart and 
 practice, as distinguished from its various counterfeits ; ex- 
 
ME MO IKS OF BKAINERD. 323 
 
 pressing his great concern that the latter so much prevailed 
 in many places. He often manifested his great abhorrence 
 of all such doctrines and principles in religion as had any 
 tendency to Antinomianism ; of all such notions, as seemed 
 to diminish the necessity of holiness of life, or to abate men s 
 regard to the commands of God, and a strict, diligent, and 
 universal practice of virtue and piety, under a pretence of 
 depreciating our works, and magnifying God s free grace. 
 He spoke often, with much detestation of such experiences 
 and pretended discoveries and joys, as have nothing of the 
 nature of sanctification in them, as do not tend to strictness, 
 tenderness, and diligence in religion, to meekness and benev 
 olence towards mankind, and an humble behavior. He 
 also declared, that he looked on such pretended humility as 
 worthy of no regard, which was not manifested by modesty 
 of conduct and conversation. He spoke often with abhorrence 
 of the spirit and practice which appear among the greater 
 part of separatists at this day in the land, particularly 
 those in the eastern parts of Connecticut ; in their condemn 
 ing and separating from the standing ministry and churches, 
 their crying down learning and a learned ministry, their 
 notion of an immediate call to the work of the ministry, and 
 the forwardness of laymen to set up themselves as public 
 teachers and preachers. He had been much conversant in 
 the eastern part of Connecticut, it being near his native 
 place, when the same principles, notion, and spirit began to 
 operate, which have since prevailed to a greater height; 
 and had acquaintance with some of those persons who are 
 become heads and leaders of the separatists. He had also 
 been conversant with persons of the same class elsewhere ; 
 and I heard him say, once and again, that he knew by his 
 acquaintance with this sort of people, that what was chiefly 
 and most generally in repute among them as the power of 
 godliness, was an entirely different thing from that true vital 
 piety recommended in the scriptures, and had nothing in it 
 of that nature. He manifested a great dislike of a disposi- 
 
324- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD* 
 
 tion in persons to much noise and show in religion, and 
 affecting to be abundant in proclaiming and publishing their 
 own experiences. Though at the same time he did not con 
 demn, but approved of Christians speaking of their own ex 
 periences on some occasions, and to some persons, with due 
 modesty and discretion. He himself sometimes, while at 
 my house, spake of his own experiences ; but it was always 
 with apparent reserve, and in the exercise of care and judg 
 ment with respect to occasions, persons, and circumstances. 
 He mentioned some remarkable things of his own religious 
 experience to two young gentlemen, candidates for the min 
 istry, who watched with him, each at different times, when 
 he was very low, and not far from his end ; but he desired 
 both of them not to speak of what he had told them till after 
 his death. 
 
 The subject of the debate already mentioned, which he 
 had with a certain gentleman, the day he left Boston, seemed 
 to lie with much weight on his mind after he came hither. He 
 began to write a letter to that gentleman, expressing his 
 sentiments concerning the dangerous tendency of some of 
 the tenets he had expressed in conversation, and in the writings 
 he had published, with the considerations by which the ex 
 ceeding hurtful nature of those notions is evident, but he had 
 not strength to finish his letter. 
 
 After he came hither, as long as he lived, he spoke much 
 of that future prosperity of Zion, which is so often foretold 
 and promised in the scripture. It was a theme upon which 
 he delighted to dwell ; and his mind seemed to be carried 
 forth with earnest concern about it, and intense desires that 
 religion might speedily and abundantly revive and flourish. 
 Though he had not the least expectation of recovery, yea, 
 the nearer death advanced, and the more the symptoms of 
 its approach increased, still the more did his mind seem to be 
 taken up with this subject. He told me, when near his 
 end, that " he never in all his life had his mind so led forth 
 in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ s 
 
MEAfOJRS OF BRAIXERD. 325 
 
 kingdom on earth, as since he was brought so exceeding low 
 at Boston." He seemed much to wonder, that there appeared 
 no more of a disposition in ministers and people to pray for 
 the flourishing of religion through the world ; that so little a 
 part of their prayers was generally taken up about it, in their 
 families, and elsewhere. Particularly, he several times ex 
 pressed his wonder, that there appeared no more forward 
 ness to comply with the proposal lately made in a memorial 
 from a number of ministers in Scotland,* and sent over into 
 America, for united extraordinary prayer, among Christ s 
 ministers and people, for the coming of Christ s kingdom : 
 and sent it as his dying advice to his own congregation, that 
 they should practice agreeably to that proposal.f 
 
 Though he was constantly exceeding weak, yet there ap 
 peared in him a continual care well to improve time, and fill 
 it up with something that might be profitable, and in some 
 lespect for the glory of God or the good of men ; either prof- 
 
 * [In a tract published in 1747, urging a " visible union of God s people in extraordinary 
 prayers," President Edwards " pealed out his trumpet-call summoning the whole Christian 
 world to prayer" for the speedy coming of Christ s kingdom in millenial power and 
 glory ; and as a motive, an incentive, in this same tract he refers to the day of fasting and 
 prayer kept at Northampton the year before, which was followed that same night by the 
 utter dispersion and defeat of the French Armada under the Duke d Anville. And 
 Edwards adds : " This is the nearest parallel with God s wonderful works of old in the 
 times of Moses, Joshua and Hezekiah, of any that have been in these latter ages of the 
 world." 
 
 This tract was published and widely circulated in Scotland and in England, and 
 produced a profound impression there, as well as throughout the infant Church in the 
 New World, " and marked a turning point in modern history." And who can doubt that 
 Edwards was in a measure inspired and prompted to write this masterly appeal by 
 his intercourse with I rainerd, and his admiration of his character, and knowledge of the 
 wonders which God had wrought by him. This very year it was that this missionary saint had 
 gone up as in a chariot of fire from the bosom of Edwards family, and the sacred mantle 
 of this ascended prophet of missions had fallen upon him, and he was to continue the work, 
 r.ot only among the Stockbridge Indians, as he afterwards did in a personal 
 ministry, but on a broader and more conspicuous theater in the sight and hearing of all 
 Christendom J MS.] 
 
 t His congregation, since this, have with great cheerfulness and unanimity fallen in 
 with this advice, and have practised agreeably to the proposal from Scotland ; and have 
 at times appeared with uncommon engagedness and fervency of spirit in their meetings 
 and united devotions, pursuant to that proposal. Also the Presbyteries of New York and 
 New Brunswick, since this, have, with one consent, fallen in with the proposal, as likewise 
 ome other of God s people in those parts. 
 
3 26 MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 
 
 itable conversation ; or writing letters to absent friends ; or 
 noting something in his diary ; or looking over his former 
 writings, correcting them, and preparing them to be left in 
 the hands of others at his death ; or giving some directions 
 concerning the future management of his people ; or employ 
 ment in secret devotions. He seemed never to be easy, how 
 ever ill, if he was not doing something for God, or in his 
 service. After he came hither, he wrote a preface to a diary 
 of the famous Mr. Shepard s, in those papers before men 
 tioned, lately found, having been much urged to it by those 
 gentlemen in Boston who had the care of the publication ; 
 which diary, with his preface, has since been published. 
 
 In his diary for Lord s day, Aug 9, he speaks of longing 
 desires after death, through a sense of the excellency of a 
 state of perfection. In his diary for Lord s day, Aug, 16, he 
 speaks of his having so much refreshment of soul in .the house 
 of God, that it seemed also to refresh his body. And this is not 
 only noted in his diary, but was very observable to others ; it 
 was very apparent, not only that his mind was exhilarated 
 with inward consolation, but also that his animal spirits and 
 bodily strength seemed to be remarkably restored, as though 
 he had forgot his illness. But this was the last time that he 
 ever attended public worship on the Sabbath. 
 
 On Tuesday morning that week, as I was absent on a 
 journey, he prayed with my family, but not without much 
 difficulty, for want of bodily strength ; and this was the last 
 family prayer that he ever made. He had been wont, till 
 now, frequently to ride out, two or three miles ; but this 
 week, on Thursday, was the last time he ever did so. 
 
 " Lord s day Aug. 23. This morning I was considerably refreshed with 
 the thought, yea, the hope and expectation of the enlargement of Christ s 
 kingdom ; and I could not but hope, that the time was at hand, when 
 Babylon the great would fall and rise no more. This led me to some 
 spiritual meditations, which were very refreshing to me. I was unable to 
 attend public worship either part of the day ; but God was pleased to af 
 ford me fixedness and satisfaction in divine thoughts. Nothing so re 
 freshes my soul, as when I can go to God, yea, to God my exceeding joy. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 327 
 
 When he is so sensibly to my soul, O how unspeakably delightful is this. 
 In the week past, I had divers turns of inward refreshing ; though my body 
 was inexpressibly weak, followed continually with agues and fevers. 
 Sometimes my soul centred in God, as my only portion ; and I felt that 
 I should be for ever unhappy, if He did not reign. I saw the sweetness 
 and happiness of being his subject, at his disposal. This made all my 
 difficulties quickly vanish. 
 
 " From this Lord s day, viz,. Aug. 23, I was troubled very much with 
 vapory disorders, and could neither write nor read, and could scarcely 
 live ; although through mercy, was not so much oppressed with heavy 
 melancholy and gloominess, as at many other times." 
 
 Till this week, he had been wont to lodge in a room above 
 stairs ; but he now grew so weak that he was no longer able 
 to go up stairs and down. Friday, Aug. 28, was the last time 
 he ever went above stairs ; henceforward he betook himself 
 to a lower room. 
 
 On Wednesday, Sept. 2, being the day of our public lecture, 
 he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the neighboring minis 
 ters who came hither to the lecture, and expressed a great de 
 sire once more to go to the house of God on that day ; and 
 accordingly rode to the meeting and attended divine service, 
 while the Reverend Mr. Wooclbridge, of Hatfield, preached. 
 He signified that he supposed it to be the last time he should 
 ever attend public worship, as it proved. Indeed, it was the 
 last time that he ever went out of our gate alive. 
 
 On the Saturday evening following, he was unexpectedly 
 visited by his brother, John Brainerd, who came to see him 
 from New Jersey. He was much refreshed by this unex 
 pected visit, this brother being peculiarly dear to him, and 
 he seemed to rejoice in a devout and solemn manner, to see 
 him and to hear the comfortable tidings which he brought 
 concerning the state of his dear congregation of Christian 
 Indians. A circumstance of this visit, of which he was ex 
 ceedingly glad was, that his brother brought him some of his 
 private writings from New Jersey, and particularly his diary 
 which he had kept for many years past. 
 
 " Lord s day, Sept. 6. I began to read some of my private writings, which 
 
328 MEMOIRS OF B RAJ NERD. 
 
 my brother brought me ; and was considerably refreshed with what I 
 found in them. Sept. 7. I proceeded further in reading my old private 
 writings, and found that they had the same effect upon me as before. I 
 could not but rejoice and bless God for what passed long ago, which 
 without writing had been entirely lost. This evening, when I was in 
 great distress of body, my soul longed that God should be glorified ; I 
 s:i\v there was no character but this. I could not but speak to the by 
 standers then of the only happiness, viz,, pleasing God. O that I could 
 for ever live to God ! The day, I trust, is at hand, the perfect day. 
 O the day of deliverance from all sin ! 
 
 " Lord s day, Sept. 13. I was much refreshed and engaged in medita 
 tion and writing, and found a heart to act for God. My spirits were 
 refreshed, and my soul delighted to do something for God." 
 
 On the evening following that Lord s day, his feet began 
 to swell ; which thenceforward swelled more and more. The 
 next day his brother John left him, being obliged to return 
 to New Jersey on some business of great importance and 
 necessity ; intending to return again with all possible speed, 
 hoping to see his brother yet once more in the land of the 
 living. 
 
 Brainerd having now with much deliberation, considered 
 of the important affair before mentioned, which was referred 
 to him by the honorable Commissioners in Boston, of the cor 
 poration in London for the propagation of the gospel in New 
 England and parts adjacent, viz., the fixing upon and recom 
 mending of two persons proper to be employed as mission 
 aries to the Six Nations ; about this time wrote a letter re 
 commending two young gentlemen of his acquaintance, viz., 
 Mr. Elihu Spencer, of East Haddam, and Mr. Job Strong, of 
 Northampton. The commissioners, on the receipt of this letter 
 unanimously agreed to accept and employ the persons so re 
 commended. One of them, Mr. Spencer, has been solemnly 
 ordained to that work, by several of the ministers of Boston, 
 in the presence of an ecclesiastical council convened for that 
 purpose ; and is now gone forth to the nation of Oneidas, 
 about 170 miles beyond Albany. 
 
 On Wednesday, Sept. 16, he wrote a letter to a gentleman 
 
OF BRAINERD. 329 
 
 in Boston, (one of those charitable persons beforementioned, 
 who appeared so forward to contribute of their substance for 
 promoting Christianity among the Indians, relating to the 
 growth of the Indian school, and the need of another school 
 master, or some person to assist the schoolmaster in instruct 
 ing the Indian children. These gentlemen, on the receipt of 
 this letter, had a meeting and agreed to give 2oo/, for the sup 
 port of another schoolmaster: and desired the Rev. Mr. Pember- 
 ton, of New York, (who was present at the meeting,)to procure a 
 suitable person ; and also agreed to allow 747. to defray some 
 special charges which were requisite to encourage the mission 
 to the Six Nations, ( besides the salary allowed by the com 
 missioners,) which was also done on some intimations given 
 by Brainerd. 
 
 Brainerd spent himself much in writing those letters, 
 being exceedingly weak ; but it seemed to be much to his 
 satisfaction that he had been enabled to do it ; hoping that 
 it was something done for God, and which might be for the 
 advancement of Christ s kingdom and glory. In writing the 
 last of these letters, he was obliged to use the hand of another, 
 not being able to write himself. 
 
 Thursday of this week, (Sept. 17,) was the last time he 
 went out of his lodging-room. That day, he was again visited 
 by his brother Israel, who continued with him thenceforward 
 till his death. On that evening he was taken with something 
 of a diarrhea, which he looked upon as another sign of his 
 approaching death ; whereupon he expressed himself thus : 
 " O, the glorious time is now coming ! I have longed to 
 serve God perfectly : now God will gratify those desires ! " 
 And from time to time, at the several steps and new symp 
 toms of the sensible approach of his dissolution, he was so 
 far from being sunk or damped, that he seemed to be ani 
 mated, and made more cheerful, as being glad at the appear 
 ance of death s approach. He often used the epithet glori 
 ous, when speaking of the day of his death, calling it that 
 glorious day. And as he saw his dissolution gradually ap- 
 
330 MEMOIRS OF BKAL\ EKD. 
 
 preaching, he talked much about it ; and with perfect calm 
 ness spoke of a future state. He also settled all his affairs, 
 giving directions very minutely, concerning what he would 
 have done after his decease. And the nearer death ap 
 proached, the more desirous he seemed to be of it. He 
 several times spoke of the different kinds of willingness to 
 die ; and represented it as an ignoble, mean kind, to be 
 willing to leave the body, only to get rid of pain ; or to go to 
 heaven, only to get honor and advancement there. 
 
 "Sept. 19. Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts 
 turned thus : How infinitely sweet it is, to love God, and be all for him ! 
 Upon which it was suggested to me, You are not an angel, not lively and 
 active. To which my whole soul immediately replied, I as sincerely 
 desire to love and glorify God, as any angel in heaven. Upon which it 
 was suggested again, But you are filthy, not fit for heaven. Hereupon 
 instantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ s righteousness, in which 
 I could not but exult and triumph ; and I viewed the infinite excellency 
 of God, and my soul even broke with longings, that God should be 
 glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven ; but instantly the thought re 
 turned, I do not go to heaven to get honor, but to give all possible glory 
 and praise. O how I longed that God should be glorified on earth also ! 
 
 I was made for eternity if God might be glorified ! Bodily pains I 
 cared not for ; though I was then in extremity, I never felt easier. I felt 
 willing to glorify God in that state of bodily distress, as long as he pleased 
 
 1 should continue in it. The grave appeared really sweet, and I longed 
 to lodge my weary bones in it: but Oh, that God might be glorified! this 
 was the burden of all my cry. oh, I knew that I should be active as an 
 angel, in heaven ; and that I should be stripped of mv filthy garments ! 
 so that there was no objection. But, O to love and praise God more, to 
 please him for ever ! this my soul panted after, and even now pants for 
 while I write. O that God might be glorified in the whole earth ! Lord 
 let thy kingdom come. I longed for a spirit of preaching to descend and 
 rest on ministers, that they might address the consciences of men with 
 closeness and power. I saw that God had the residue of the Spirit; 
 and my soul longed that it should be poured from on high. I could 
 not but plead with God for my dear congregation, that he would preserve 
 it, and not suffer his great name to lose its glory in that work ; my soul 
 still longing that God might be glorified." 
 
 The extraordinary frame he was in, that evening, could not 
 be hid. " His mouth spake out of the abundance of his heart," 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 33 1 
 
 expressing in a very affecting manner much the same things 
 as are written in his diary. Among very many other extra 
 ordinary expressions, which he then uttered, were such as 
 these : " My heaven is to please God, and glorify him, and 
 to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory: 
 that is the heaven I long for ; that is my religion, and that is 
 my happiness, and always was ever since I suppose I had 
 any true religion : and all those that are of that religion shall 
 meet me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to be advanced, 
 but to give honor to God. It is no matter where I shall be 
 stationed in heaven, whether I have a high or low seat there ; 
 but to love, and please, and glorify God is all. Had I a thou 
 sand souls, if they were worth anything, I would give them 
 all to God ; but I have nothing to give, when all is done. It 
 is impossible for any rational creature to be happy without 
 acting all for God ; God himself could not make him happy 
 any other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorify 
 ing God with the holy angels ; all my desire is to glorify God. 
 My heart goes out to the burying place ; it seems to me a 
 desirable place ; but O to glorify God ! that is it ; that is 
 above all. It is a great comfort to me to think, that I have 
 done a little for God in the world. Oh ! it is but a very 
 small matter, yet I have done a little ; and I lament it, that 
 I have not done more for him. There is nothing in the 
 world worth living for, but doing good, and finishing God s 
 work, doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in 
 the world that can yield any satisfaction, besides living to God, 
 pleasing him, and doing his whole will. My greatest joy and 
 comfort has been, to do something for promoting the interest 
 of religion and the souls of particular persons : and now, in 
 my illness, while I am full of pain and distress, from day 
 to day, all the comfort I have, is in being able to do some 
 little service for God, either by something that I say, or by 
 writing or in some other way." 
 
 He intermingled with these and other like expressions, 
 many pathetical counsels to those who were about him, particu- 
 
332 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 larly to my children and servants. He applied himself to 
 some of my younger children at this time ; calling them to 
 him, and speaking to them one by one ; setting before them, 
 in a very plain manner, the nature and essence of true piety, 
 and its great importance and necessity ; earnestly warning 
 them not to rest in anything short of a true and thorough 
 change of heart, and a life devoted to God. He counseled 
 them not to be slack in the great business of religion, nor in 
 the least to delay it ; enforcing his counsels with this, that 
 his words were the words of a dying man : said he, " I shall 
 die here, and here I shall be buried, and here you will see 
 my grave, and do you remember what I have said to you. I 
 am going into eternity : and it is sweet for me to think of 
 eternity : the endlessness of it makes it sweet : but, oh, what 
 shall I say to the eternity of the wicked ! I cannot mention 
 it, nor think of it ; the thought is too dreadful. When you 
 see my grave, then remember what I said to you while I was 
 alive ; then think with yourself, how the man who lies in that 
 grave, counseled and warned me to prepare for death." 
 
 His body seemed to be marvellously strengthened, through 
 the inward vigor and refreshment of his mind ; so that, al 
 though before he was so weak that he could hardly utter a 
 sentence, yet now he continued his most affecting and profita 
 ble discourse to us for more than an hour, with scarce any 
 intermission; and said of it, when he had done, "it was the 
 last sermon that ever he should preach." This extraordinary 
 frame of mind continued the next day, of which he says in 
 his diary as follows : 
 
 " Lord s day Sept. 20. Was still in a sweet and comfortable frame : 
 and was again melted with desires that God might be glorified, and with 
 longings to love and live to him. Longed for the influences of the divine 
 Spirit to descend on ministers, in a special manner. And oh, I longed to 
 be with God, to behold his glory, and to bow in his presence ! " 
 
 It appears by what is noted in his diary, both of this day 
 and the evening preceding, that his mind at this time was 
 much impressed with a sense of the importance of the work 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 333 
 
 of the ministry, and the need of the grace of God, and his 
 special spiritual assistance in this work. It also appeared in 
 what he expressed in conversation ; particularly in his dis 
 course to his brother Israel, who was then a member of Yale 
 College at New-Haven, prosecuting his studies for the work 
 fo the ministry.* He now, and from time to time, in his 
 dying state, recommended to his brother a life of self-denial, 
 of weanedness from the world, and devotedness to God, and 
 an earnest endeavor to obtain much of the grace of God s, 
 Spirit, and God s gracious influences on his heart ; represent 
 ing the great need which ministers stand in of them, and the 
 unspeakable benefit of them from his own experience. 
 Among many other expressions, he said thus : " When 
 ministers feel these special gracious influences on their hearts, 
 it wonderfully assists them to come at the consciences of 
 men, and as it were to handle them ; whereas, without them, 
 whatever reason and oratory we make use of, we do but \ 
 make use of stumps, instead of hands." 
 
 "Sept. 21. I began to correct a little volume of my private writings. 
 God, I believe, remarkably helped me in it ; my strength was surprisingly 
 lengthened out, my thoughts were quick and lively, and my soul re 
 freshed, hoping it might be a work for God. O how good, how sweet it 
 is to labor for God ! 
 
 <r Sept. 22. Was again employed in reading and correcting, and had 
 the same success, as the day before. I was exceeding weak ; but it 
 seemed to refresh my soul, thus to spend time. Sept. 23. I finished my 
 corrections of the little piece before-mentioned, and felt uncommonly 
 peaceful : it seemed as if I had now done all my work in this world, and 
 stood ready for my call to a better. As long as I see any thing to be 
 done for God, life is worth having : but oh, how vain and unworthy it is, 
 to live for any lower end ! this day, I indited a letter, I think, of great 
 importance, to the Rev. Mr. Byram in New-Jersey. Oh that God would 
 bless and succeed that letter, which was written for the benefit of his 
 
 * This young gentleman was an ingenious, serious, studious, and hopefully pious per- 
 son ; there appeared in him many qualities giving hope of his being a great blessing in his 
 chy. But it has pleased God, since the death of his brother, to take him away also. He 
 died that winter, ^t Nsw-Haven, January 6, 1748, of a nervous fever, after about a fort 
 night s illness. 
 
334 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 church ! * Oh that God would purify the sons of Levi, that his glory may 
 be advanced ! This night, I endured a dreadful turn, wherein my life 
 was expected scarce an htmr or minute together. But blessed be God, I 
 have enjoyed considerable sweetness in divine things, this week both by 
 night and day. 
 
 "Sept. 24. My strength began to fail exceedingly ; which looked fur 
 ther as if I had done all my work ; however, I had strength to fold and 
 superscribe my letter. About two I went to bed, being weak and much 
 disordered, and lay in a burning fever till night, without any proper rest. 
 In the evening, I got up, having lain down in some of my clothes ; but 
 was in the greatest distress, that ever I endured, having an uncommon 
 kind of hiccough ; which either strangled me, or threw me into a straining 
 to vomit ; and at the same time was distressed with griping pains. O 
 the distress of this evening ! I had little expectation of my living the 
 night through, nor indeed had any about me ; and I longed for the finish 
 ing moment ! 1 was obliged to repair to bed by six o clock; and 
 
 through mercy enjoyed some rest ; but was grievously distressed at turns 
 
 with the hiccough. My soul breathed after God, * \Vhenshall I come 
 
 to God, even to God, my exceeding joy ? Oh for his blessed likeness ! 
 
 "Sept. 25. This day, I was unspeakably weak, and little better than 
 speechless all the day ; however, I was able to write a little, and felt 
 comfortably in some part of the day. O it refreshed my soul, to think of 
 former things, of desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to him ! 
 O, blessed God. I am speedily coming to thee, I hope. Hasten the day, 
 O Lord, if it be thy blessed will, O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. 
 Amen.t 
 
 " Sept. 26. I felt the sweetness of divine things, this forenoon ; and 
 had the consolation of a consciousness that I was doing something for God. 
 
 " Lord s day Sept. 27. This was a very comfortable day to my soul ; I 
 think I awoke with God. I was enabled to lift up my soul to God, early 
 this morning; and while I had little bodily strength, I found freedom to 
 lift up my heart to God for myself and others. Afterwards, was pleased 
 with the thought of speedily entering into the unseen world." 
 
 Early this morning, as one of the family came into the 
 room he expressed himself thus : "I have had more pleasure 
 this morning than all the drunkards in the world enjoy." So 
 
 * It was concerning the qualifications of ministers, and the examination and licensing 
 of candidates for the work of the ministry. 
 
 t This was the last time that ever he wrote in his Diary with his own hand; though it 
 is continued a little farther, in a broken manner; written by his brother Israel, but indited 
 by his mouth in this his weak anddyii g state. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 335 
 
 much did he esteem the joy of faith above the pleasures of 
 sin. He felt that morning an unusual appetite for food, with 
 which his mind seemed to be exhilarated, looking on it as a 
 sign of the very near approach of death. At this time he 
 also said, " I was born on a Sabbath-day ; and I have reason 
 to think I was new-born on a Sabbath-day ; and I hope I shall 
 die on this Sabbath-day. I shall look upon it as a favor if it 
 may be the will of God that it should be so: I long for the 
 time. O why is his chariot so long in coming ? why tarry 
 the wheels of his chariot ? I am very willing to part with 
 all ; I am willing to part with my dear brother John, and 
 never to see him again, to go to be forever with the Lord.* 
 O, when I go there, how will God s dear church on earth be 
 upon my mind ! " 
 
 Afterwards, the same morning, being asked how he did, 
 he answered, " I am almost in eternity ? I long to be there. 
 My work is done ; I have done with all my friends ; all the world 
 is nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorify 
 ing God with the holy angels. All my desire is to glorify God." 
 
 During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, he 
 seemed to continue in this frame of heart ; loose from all the 
 world, as having finished his work, and done with all things 
 here below. He had now nothing to do but to die, and to 
 abide in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy 
 moment, when his soul should take its flight to a state of 
 perfect holiness, in which he should be found perfectly glori 
 fying and enjoying God. He said, " That the consideration 
 of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long 
 time been peculiarly sweet to him." From time to time he 
 spoke of his being willing to leave the body and the world im 
 mediately, that day, that night, that moment, if it was the will 
 of God. He also was much engaged in expressing his longings 
 
 * He had, before this, expressed a desire, if it might be the will of God, to live till his 
 brother returned from New Jersey ; who, when he went away, intended if possible, to 
 perform his journey ar.d return in a fortnight, hoping once more to meet his brother in 
 the land of the living. The fortnight was now near expired, it ended the next day. 
 
336 MEMOIRS OF BRAIiVERD. 
 
 that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and Christ s 
 kingdom here might be advanced, notwithstanding he was 
 about to leave the earth, and should not with his eyes behold 
 the desirable event, nor be instrumental in promoting it. He 
 said to me one morning, as I came into his room, " My 
 thoughts have been employed on the old dear theme, the 
 prosperity of God s church on earth. As I waked out of 
 sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God s Spirit, 
 and the advancement of Christ s kingdom, for which the 
 Redeemer did and suffered so much. It is that especially 
 which makes me long for it." He expressed much hope that 
 a glorious advancement of Christ s kingdom was near at 
 hand. 
 
 He once told me, that " he had formerly longed for the 
 outpouring of the Spirit of God and the glorious times of the 
 Church, and hoped they were coming; and should have been 
 willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that 
 had been the will of God ; but, says he, I am willing it should 
 be as it is ; I would not have the choice to make for myself, 
 for ten thousand worlds." He expressed on his death-bed a 
 full persuasion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of 
 the Church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein ; 
 and the consideration of it seemed to be highly pleasing and 
 satisfying to his mind. 
 
 He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the 
 work of gospel ministers, and expressed his longings, that 
 they might be filled with the Spirit of God. He manifested 
 much desire to see some of the neighboring ministers, with 
 whom he had some acquaintance, and of whose sincere friend 
 ship he was confident that he might converse freely with them 
 on that subject, before he died. And it so happened, that he 
 had opportunity with some of them according to his desire. 
 
 Another thing that lay much on his heart, from time to 
 time, in these near approaches of death, was the spiritual 
 prosperity of his own congregation of Christian Indians in 
 New-Jersey ; and when he spake of them, it was with peculiar 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 337 
 
 tenderness ; so that his speech would be presently interrupted 
 and drowned with tears. 
 
 He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposals of 
 Providence, with regard to the circumstances of his death ; 
 particularly that God had before his death given him an oppor 
 tunity in Boston with so many considerable persons, ministers 
 and others, to give in his testimouy for Gods against false re 
 ligion, and many mistakes that lead to it, and promote it. He was 
 much pleased that he had an opportunity there to lay before 
 pious and charitable gentlemen the state of the Indians, and 
 their necessities to so good effect, and that God had since 
 enabled him to write to them further, concerning these affairs ; 
 and to write other letters of importance, which he hoped might 
 be of good influence with regard to the state of religion 
 among the Indians, and elsewhere, after his death. He ex 
 pressed .great thankfulness to God for his mercy in these 
 things. He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merci 
 ful circumstance of his death, that he should die here. When 
 he was sick at Boston, nigh unto death, it was with reluctance 
 he thought of dying in a place where funerals are often at 
 tended with a pomp and show, to any appearance of which 
 he was very averse : and though it was with some difficulty he 
 got his mind reconciled to the prospect then before him, yet 
 at last he was brought to acquiesce in the divine will, with re 
 spect to this circumstance of his departure. However, it 
 pleased God to order the event so as to gratify his desire 
 which he had expressed, of getting back to Northampton, 
 with a view particularly to a more silent and private burial. 
 And speaking of these things, he said, " God had granted 
 him all his desire ; " and signified, that now he could with the 
 greatest alacrity leave the world. 
 
 " Sept. 28. I was able to read and make some few corrections in my 
 private writings ; but found I could not write as I had done ; I found my 
 self sensibly declined in all respects. It has been only from a little while 
 before noon, till about one or two o clock, that I have been able to do 
 any thing for some time past ; yet this refreshed my heart that I could 
 do any thing either public or private, that I hoped was for God." 
 
338 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 This evening he was supposed to be dying. He thought 
 so himself, and was thought so by those who were about him. 
 He seemed glad at the appearance of the near approach of 
 death. He was almost speechless, but his lips appeared to 
 move ; and one that sat very near him, heard him utter such 
 expressions as these, " Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. 
 Oh why is his chariot so long in coming." After he revived, 
 he blamed himself for having been too eager to be gone. And 
 in expressing what he found in the frame of his mind at that 
 time, he said, he then found an inexpressibly sweet love to 
 those whom he looked upon as belonging to Christ beyond 
 almost all that ever he felt before, so that it seemed, to use 
 his own words, " like a little piece of heaven to have one of 
 them near him." And being asked, whether he heard the 
 prayer that was, at his desire, made with him ; he said, " Yes, 
 he heard every word, and had an uncommon sense of the 
 things that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word 
 reached his heart." 
 
 On the evening of Tuesday, Sept. 29, as he lay on his bed, 
 he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame ; his mind greatly 
 engaged in sweet meditations concerning the prosperity of 
 Zion. There being present here at that time two young 
 gentlemen of his acquaintance, who were candidates for the 
 ministry, he desired us all to unite in singing a Psalm on that 
 subject, even Zion s prosperity. And on his desire we sung 
 a part of the io2d Psalm. This seemed much to refresh and 
 revive him, and gave him new strength ; so that, though be 
 fore he could scarcely speak at all, now he proceeded, with 
 some freedom of speech, to give his dying counsels to those 
 two young gentlemen before mentioned, relating to their prep 
 aration for, and prosecution of that great work of the minis 
 try for which they were designed ; and in particular earnestly 
 recommended to them frequent secret fasting and prayer : 
 and enforced his counsel with regard to this from his own ex 
 perience of the great comfort and benefit of it, which said he, 
 I should not mention, were it not that I am a dying person. 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 339 
 
 After he had finished his counsel, he made a prayer, in the 
 audience of us all : wherein, L beside praying for this family, 
 for his brethren, and those candidates for the ministry, and 
 for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving 
 and flourishing of religion in the world. Till now he had 
 every day sat up part of the day ; but after this he never rose 
 from his bed. 
 
 "Sept. 30. I was obliged to keep my bed the whole day, through 
 weakness. However, redeemed a little time, and with the help of my 
 brother, read and corrected about a dozen pages in my MS. giving an ac 
 count of my conversion. 
 
 * Oct. i. I endeavored again to do something by way of writing, but 
 soon found my powers of body and mind utterly fail. Felt not so sweetly, 
 as when I was able to do something which I hoped would do some good. 
 In the evening, was discomposed and wholly delirious ; but it was not long 
 before God was pleased to give me some sleep, and fully composed my 
 mind.* O blessed be God for his great goodness to me, since I was so 
 low at Mr. Bromfield s on Thursday, June 18, last. He has, except those 
 few minutes, given me the clear exercise of my reason, and enabled me 
 to labor much for him, in things both of a public and private nature ; and 
 perhaps to do more good than I should have done if I had been well ; 
 besides the comfortable influence of his blessed Spirit, with which he has 
 been pleased to refresh my soul. May his name have all the glory for 
 ever and ever. Amen. 
 
 " Oct. 2. My soul was this day, at turns, sweetly set on God ; I long 
 ed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt sweetly disposed 
 to commit all to him, even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my ab 
 sent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. O that his 
 kingdom might come in the world ; that they might all love and glorify 
 him, for what he is in himself ; and that the blessed Redeemer might 
 see of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied I Oh, come Lord Jesus, 
 come quickly ! Amen."t 
 
 The next evening we expected his brother John from New 
 Jersey, it being about a week after the time that he proposed 
 for his return when he went away. Though our expectations 
 
 * From this time forward, he had the free use of his reason till the day before his death, 
 except that at some times he appeared a little lost for a moment, when first waking out o 
 sleep. 
 
 I Here ends his diary. These are the last words which are written in it either by his 
 pwn hand, or by any other from his mouth. 
 
34 o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 
 
 were still disappointed, yet Brainerd seemed to continue un 
 moved, in the same calm and peaceful frame, which he had 
 before manifested ; as having resigned all to God, and having 
 done with his friends, and with all things here below. 
 
 On the morning of the next day, being Lord s day, Oct. 4, 
 as my daughter Jerusha, who chiefly attended him, came into 
 the room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, " Dear 
 Jerusha, are you willing to part with me ? I am quite willing 
 to part with you ; I am willing to part with all my friends, I am 
 willing to part with my dear brother John, although I love 
 him the best of any creature living : I have committed him 
 and all my friends to God, and can leave them with God. 
 Though if I thought I should not see you, and be happy with 
 you in another world, I could not bear to part with you. But 
 we shall spend a happy eternity together ! "* In the evening, 
 as one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, he ex 
 pressed himself thus : " O that dear book ! that lovely book ! 
 
 *[With what sorrow and grief, and yet rejoicing of spirit, did the pen of Edwards trace the 
 following note ! This " dear child " was affianced to Brainerd, and was a kindred spirit 
 in the highest walks of Christian experience. She had hoped to join him in his work 
 for Christ among the poor Indians, and for years had been in training for the Lord s 
 service. But God had a higher sphere for them both. It was, however, her privilege 
 and joy to minister to Brainerd during his long illness in Boston and afterward at her 
 father s house. Young, gifted in person and mind, and " uncommonly devoted to God," 
 according to the testimony of her father, the separation of these loving kindred souls was 
 but for a day.-J. M. S.] 
 
 Since this, it has pleased a holy and sovereign God to take away this my dear child by 
 death, on the i4th of February, next following, after a short illness of five days, in the 
 eighteenth year of her age. She was a person of much the same spirit with Brainerd. 
 She had constantly taken care of and attended him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks 
 before his death : devoting herself to it with great delight, because she looked on him as 
 an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In this time he had much conversation with her on 
 the things of religion ; and in his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great 
 satisfaction concerning her true piety, and his confidence that he should meet her in 
 heaven, and his high opinion cf her, not only as a true Christian, but a very eminent saint, 
 one whose soul was uncommonly fed and entertained with things which appertain to the 
 most spiritual, experimental, and distinguishing parts of religion : and one who, by 
 the temper of her mind, was fitted to deny herself for God and to do good, beyond any 
 young woman whatsoever whom he knew. She had manifested a heart uncommonly de 
 voted to God, in the course of her life, many years before her death ; and said on her death 
 bed that "she had not seen one minute for several years wherein. she desired to live ona. 
 minute longer, for the sake of any other good in life but doing good, living to God, and 
 doing what might be for his glory." 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 341 
 
 I shall soon see it opened ! the mysteries that are in it and the 
 mysteries of God s providence will be all unfolded ! " 
 
 His distemper now very apparently preyed on his vitals 
 in an extraordinary manner ; not by the sudden breaking of 
 ulcers in his lungs, as at Boston, but by a constant dis 
 charge of purulent matter in great quantities : so that what he 
 brought up by expectoration, seemed to be as it were mouth- 
 f uls of almost clear pus ; which was attended with very inward 
 pain and distress. 
 
 On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay, for a considerable time, as if 
 her were dying. At which time, he was heard to utter, in 
 broken whispers, such expressions as these : * He will come, 
 he will not tarry. I shall soon be in glory. I shall soon glorify 
 God with the angels." But after some time he revived. 
 
 The next day, his brother John arrived from New Jersey ; 
 where he had been detained much longer than he intended 
 by a mortal sickness among the Christian Indians, and by some 
 other circumstances that made his stay with them necessary. 
 Brainerd was affected and refreshed with seeing him, and ap 
 peared fully satisfied with the reasons of his delay ; seeing 
 the interest of religion and the souls of his people required it. 
 
 The next day he was in great distress and agony of body, 
 and for the greater part of the time, was much disordered as 
 to the exercise of his reason. In the evening he was more 
 composed, and had the use of his reason well, but the pain 
 of his body continued and increased. He told me that it was 
 impossible for any one to conceive of the distress which he 
 felt in his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should 
 dishonor God by impatience, under his extreme agony ; which 
 was such, that he said, the thought of enduring it one minute 
 longer was almost insupportable. He desired that others 
 would do much in lifting up their hearts continually to God 
 for him, that God would support him and give him patience. 
 He signified that he expected to die that night ; but seemed 
 to fear a longer delay : and the disposition of his mind with 
 regard to death, appeared still the same that it had been all 
 
342 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 11RAINEKD. 
 
 along. And notwithstanding his bodily agonies, yet the in- 
 interest of Zion lay still with great weight on his mind ; as 
 appeared by some considerable discourse he had that 
 evening with the Rev. Mr. Billing, one of the neighboring 
 ministers, who was then present, concerning the great im- 
 portance of the work of the ministry. Afterwards, when it 
 was very late in the night, he had much very proper and profit 
 able discourse with his brother John, concerning his congre 
 gation in New-Jersey, and the interest of religion among the 
 Indians. In the latter part of the night, his bodily distress 
 seemed to rise to a greater height than ever ; and he said to 
 those then about him, " that it was another thing to die 
 than people imagined ; " explaining himself to mean that 
 they were not aware what bodily pain and anguish is under 
 gone before death. Towards day, his eyes fixed ; and he con 
 tinued lying immovable, till about six o clock, on Friday, Oct. 
 9, 1747, when his soul, as we may well conclude, was received 
 by his dear Lord and Master, as an eminently faithful servant, 
 into that state of perfection of holiness, and fruition of God 
 for which he had so often and so ardently longed ; and was 
 welcomed by the glorious assembly in the upper world, as 
 one peculiarly fitted to join them in their blessed employ and 
 enjoyment. 
 
 [The funeral, which occurred on the Monday following, 
 bore affecting testimony to the respect and esteem in which 
 this eminent young servant of God was held in Northampton, 
 and in all the regions round about. It was attended by " eight 
 of the neighboring ministers," (a larger show than a hundred 
 would be now) ; " a large number of gentlemen of liberal ed 
 ucation, and a great concourse of people." 
 
 What a scene for the pencil of the artist ! What an occa 
 sion for the eloquence of the orator ! What a text for the 
 preacher ! On that bier lay the wasted remains of one not yet 
 thirty years old as the world counts time and yet a " leader 
 of the people." And what a noble race had he accom- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 343 
 
 plished \ What eminent attainments had he made in the 
 divine life ! What a lofty spirit of Christian heroism had he 
 exemplified ! What a sublime example of self-sacrifice and 
 consecration to Christ had he set before the world ! The 
 work done by him in the heart of the American wilderness, 
 and the diary written by him in the woods, among savages, 
 had touched the hearts and inspired the souls of tens of . 
 thousands of God s children in Scotland, and in England, as 
 well as in our own colonies. Here were the mortal remains, 
 awaiting burial, of a life offered up in living sacrifice for the 
 glory of God and the salvation of some of the lowest of his 
 creatures. In all the land there was no more fitting preacher 
 for so solemn and affecting an occasion than JONATHAN ED 
 WARDS, at whose house the worn-out missionary had died, and 
 who regarded him with the affection of a father, and the ven 
 eration due to extraordinary moral worth and sanctity, and 
 at whose obsequies his own dear child was " chief mourner." 
 The title of the sermon was : " Christians, when absent from 
 the body ar^ present with the Lord," based on 2 Cor. v. 8. 
 "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent 
 from the body, and to be present with the Lord." The ser 
 mon, in breadth, and power and manner of treatment, was 
 worthy of the fame of New England s greatest divine, and of 
 the occasion which called it forth. 
 
 As a fitting close to these memoirs, we give the conclud 
 ing portion of the sermon, in which one every way competent, 
 gives an outline of Brainerd s life and character. J. M. S.] 
 
344 
 
 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 President Edwards personal estimate of Brainerd. 
 FROM A SERMON PREACHED AT HIS FUNERAL, OCT. 12, 1747. 
 
 " IN him whose death we are now called to consider and 
 improve, we have not only an instance of mortality, but, as 
 we have all imaginable reason to conclude, an instance of 
 one, who, being absent from the body, is present with the 
 Lord. Of this we shall be convinced, whether we consider 
 the nature of his experience at the time whence he dates his 
 conversion, or the nature and course of his inward exercises 
 from that time forward ; or his outward conversation and 
 practice in life ; or his frame and behavior during the whole 
 of that long space wherein he looked death in the face. 
 
 " His convictions of sin, preceding his first consolations 
 in Christ, as appears by a written account which he has left 
 of his inward exercises and experiences, were exceedingly 
 deep and thorough. His trouble and sorrow, arising from a 
 sense of guilt and misery, were very great and long continued, 
 but yet sound and rational ; consisting in no unsteady, violent, 
 and unaccountable frights and perturbations of mind, but 
 arising from the most serious consideration, and a clear il 
 lumination of the conscience to discern and consider the true 
 state of things. The light let into his mind at conversion, 
 and the influences and exercises to which his mind was sub 
 ject at that time, appear very agreeable to reason and the 
 gospel of Jesus Christ. The change was very great and re 
 markable ; yet without any appearance of strong impressions 
 on the imagination, of sudden flights of the affections, or of 
 vehement emotions of the animal nature. It was attended 
 with just views of the supreme glory of the divine Being, con- 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 345 
 
 sisting in the infinite dignity and beauty of the perfections of 
 his nature, and of the transcendent excellency of the way of 
 salvation by Christ. This was about eight years ago, when 
 he was twenty-one years of age. 
 
 " Thus God sanctified and made meet for his use that 
 vessel, which he intended to make eminently a vessel of 
 honor in his house, and which he had made of large capacity, 
 having endowed him with very uncommon abilities and gifts 
 of nature. He was a singular instance of a ready invention, 
 natural eloquence, easy flowing expression, sprightly apprehen 
 sion, quick discernment, and very strong memory ; and yet of 
 a very penetrating genius, close and clear thought, and pierc 
 ing judgment. He had an exact taste ; his understanding 
 was, if I may so express it, of a quick, strong, and distinguish 
 ing scent. 
 
 " His learning was very considerable. He had a great 
 taste for learning, and applied himself to his studies in so 
 close a manner when he was at college, that he much injured 
 his health, and was obliged, on that account, for a while, to 
 leave college, throw by his studies, and return home. He 
 was esteemed one who excelled in learning in that society. 
 
 " He had extraordinary knowledge of men, as well as of 
 things, and an uncommon insight into human nature. He 
 excelled most whom I ever knew in the power of communi 
 cating his thoughts, and had a peculiar talent at accommodat 
 ing himself to the capacities, tempers, and circumstances of 
 those whom he would instruct or counsel. 
 
 " He had extraordinary gifts for the pulpit. I never had 
 an opportunity to hear him preach ; but have often heard 
 him pray. I think that his manner of addressing himself to 
 God, and expressing himself before him in that duty, almost 
 inimitable, such as I have very rarely known equaled. He 
 expressed himself with such exact propriety and pertinency, 
 in such significant, weighty, pungent expressions, with such 
 an appearance of sincerity, reverence, and solemnity, and so 
 
346 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 great a distance from all affectations, as forgetting the pres 
 ence of men, and as being in the immediate presence of a 
 great and holy God, as I have scarcely ever known paralleled. 
 His manner of preaching, by what I have often heard of it 
 from good judges, was no less excellent, being clear and in 
 structive, natural, nervous and moving, and very searching and 
 convincing. He nauseated an affected noisiness, and violent 
 boisterousness in the pulpit, and yet much disrelished aflat 
 cold delivery when the subject required affection and earnest 
 ness. 
 
 " Not only had he excellent talents for the study and the 
 pulpit, but also for conversation. He was of a social dispo 
 sition ; was remarkably free, entertaining, and profitable in 
 his ordinary discourse, and discovered uncommon ability in 
 disputing, in defending truth, and confuting error. 
 
 " He excelled in his knowledge of theology, and was truly, 
 for one of his standing, an extraordinary divine, and above 
 all in matters relating to experimental religion. In this, I 
 know that I have the concurring opinion of some who are 
 generally regarded as persons of the best judgment. Accord 
 ing to what ability I have to judge of things of this nature, 
 and according to my opportunities, which of late have been 
 very great, 1 never knew his equal of his age and standing, 
 for clear accurate notions of the nature and essence of true 
 religion, and its distinctness from its various false appearances. 
 This I suppose to be owing to the strength of his understand 
 ing ; to the great opportunities which he had of observing 
 others, both whites and Indians, and to his own great experi 
 ence. 
 
 " His experiences of the holy influences of God s Spirit, 
 were not only great at his first conversion, but they were so, 
 in a continued course, from that time forward. This appears 
 from a diary which he kept of his daily inward exercises, 
 from the time of his conversion until he was disabled by the 
 failing of his strength, a few days before his death. The 
 change, which he looked upon as his conversion, was not 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. -547 
 
 only a great change of the present views, affections, and 
 frame of his mind, but was evidently the beginning of that 
 work of God in his heart, which God carried on, in a wonder 
 ful manner, from that time to his dying day. He abhorred 
 the course pursued by those who live on their first evidences 
 of piety, as though they had now finished their work, and 
 thenceforward gradually settle into a cold, lifeless, negligent, 
 worldly frame. 
 
 "His experiences were very different from many things 
 which have lately been regarded by multitudes as the very 
 height of Christian experience. When that false religion, 
 which arises chiefly from impressions on the imagination, 
 began first to gain a very great prevalence in the land, he was 
 for a little while deceived with it, so as to think highly of it. 
 Though he knew that he never had such experiences as others 
 told of, yet he thought it was because their attainments were 
 superior to his ; and so coveted them, and sought after them, 
 but could never obtain them. He told me that he never had 
 what is called an impulse, or a strong impression on his im 
 agination, in things of religion, in his life ; yet owned, that 
 during the short time in which he thought well of these things, 
 he was tinged with that spirit of false zeal which was wont 
 to attend them ; but added, that even at this time he was 
 not in his element, but as a fish out of water. When after a 
 little while, he came clearly to see the vanity and pernicious- 
 ness of such things, it cost him abundance of sorrow and 
 distress of mind, and to my knowledge he afterwards freely 
 and openly confessed the errors in conduct into which he 
 had run, and humbled himself before those whom he had of 
 fended. Since his conviction of his error in those respects, 
 he has ever had a peculiar abhorrence of that kind of bitter 
 zeal, and those delusive experiences which have been the 
 principal source of it. He detested enthusiasm in all its forms 
 and operations, and condemned whatever in opinion or ex 
 perience seemed to verge towards Antinomianism. He re 
 garded with abhorrence the experiences of those whose 
 
348 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 
 
 first faith consists in believing that Christ died for them in 
 particular ; whose first love consists in loving God, because 
 they suppose themselves the objects of his love, and whose 
 assurance of their good estate arises from some immediate 
 testimony, or suggestion, either with or without texts of 
 Scripture, that their sins are forgiven, and that God loves 
 them ; as well as the joys of those who rejoice more in their 
 own supposed distinction above others, in honor, privileges, 
 and high experiences, than in God s excellence and Christ s 
 beauty, and the spiritual pride of those laymen who set them 
 selves up as public teachers, and decry human learning, and 
 a learned ministry. He greatly nauseated everything like 
 noise and ostentation in religion, and the disposition which 
 many possess to publish and proclaim their own experiences; 
 though he did not condemn, but approved of Christians speak 
 ing of their experiences, on some occasions, and to some 
 persons, with modesty, discretion and reserve. He abomi 
 nated the spirit and practice of the generality of the Separa 
 tists in this land. I heard him say, once and again, that he 
 had had much intercourse with this class of people, and was 
 acquainted with many of them in various parts of the coun 
 try ; and that by this acquaintance he knew that what was 
 chiefly and most generally in repute among them, as the 
 power of godliness, was entirely a different thing from that 
 vital piety recommended in the Scriptures, and had nothing 
 in it of that nature. He never was more full in condemning 
 those things than in his last illness, and after he ceased to 
 have any expectations of life, particularly when he had the 
 greatest and nearest views of approaching eternity, and 
 several times when he thought himself actually dying, and 
 expected in a few minutes to be in the eternal world, as 
 he himself told me. 
 
 " As his imvard experiences appear to have been of the 
 right kind, and were very remarkable as to their degrees, so 
 were his outward behavior and practice agreeable. In his 
 whole course, he acted as one who had indeed sold all for 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 349 
 
 Christ, had entirely devoted himself to God, had made his 
 glory his highest end, and was fully determined to spend his 
 whole time and strength in his service. He was animated in 
 religion in the right way ; animated not merely nor chiefly 
 with his tongue in professing and talking, but animated in 
 the work and business of religion. He was not one of those 
 who contrive to shun the cross and get to heaven in the in 
 dulgence of ease and sloth. His life of labor and self- 
 denial, the sacrifices which he made, and the readiness and 
 constancy with which he spent his strength and substance to 
 promote the glory of his Redeemer, are probably without a 
 parallel in this age in these parts of the world. Much of this 
 may be perceived by any one who reads his printed journal ; 
 but much more has been learned by long and intimate ac 
 quaintance with him, and by looking into his diary since his 
 death, which he purposely concealed in what he published. 
 
 " As his desires and labors for the advancement of 
 Christ s kingdom were great, so was his success. God was 
 pleased to make him the instrument of bringing to pass the 
 most remarkable alteration among the poor savages, in en 
 lightening, awakening, reforming and changing their disposi 
 tion and manners, and wonderfully transforming them, of which 
 perhaps any instance can be produced in these latter ages of 
 the world. An account of this has been given the public in 
 his journal, drawn up by order of the Honorable Society in 
 Scotland, which employed him. This I would recommend 
 to the perusal of all who take pleasure in the wonderful 
 works of God s grace, and who wish to read that which will 
 peculiarly tend both to entertain and profit a Christian 
 mind. 
 
 " Not less extraordinary were his constant calmness, 
 peace, assurance and joy in God, during the long time he 
 looked death in the face without the least hope of recovery, 
 continuing without interruption to the last ; while his distem 
 per very sensibly preyed upon his vitals, from day to day, 
 
350 MEMOIRS OF BRA1XERD. 
 
 and often brought him to that state in which he looked upon 
 himself and was thought by others to be dying. The thoughts 
 of approaching death never seemed in the least to damp him, 
 but rather to encourage him and exhilarate his mind. The 
 nearer death approached, the more desirous he seemed to be 
 to die. He said, not long before his death, that the con 
 sideration of the day of death and the day of judgment, had 
 a long time been peculiarly sweet to him. At another time , 
 he observed, that he could not but think of the propriety 
 there was in throwing such a rotten carcase as his into the 
 grave ; it seemed to him to be the right way of disposing of it. 
 He often used the epithet * glorious, when speaking of the 
 day of his death, calling it that glorious day. On Sabbath 
 morning, Sept. 27, feeling an unusually violent appetite for 
 food, and looking on it as a sign of approaching death, he 
 said, he should look on it as a favor if this might be his 
 dying day, and that he longed for the time. He had before 
 expressed himself desirous of seeing Iris brother again, whose 
 return had been expected from New-Jersey ; but then, speak 
 ing of him, he said, I am willing to go, and never see him 
 again ; I care not what I part with, to be for ever with the 
 Lord. Being asked that morning how he did, he answered, 
 I am almost in eternity; God knows I long to be there. 
 My work is done ; I have done with all my friends ; all the 
 world is nothing to me. On the evening of the next day, 
 when he thought himself dying, and was apprehended to be 
 so by others, and he could utter himself only by broken 
 whispers, he often repeated the word * eternity, and said, * I 
 shall soon be with the holy angels/ Jesus will come, he 
 will not tarry. He told me one night as he went to bed, that 
 he expected to die that night, and added, I am not at all, 
 afraid, I am willing to go this night, if it be the will of God. 
 Death is what I long for. He sometimes expressed himself 
 as having nothing to do but to die ; and being willing to go 
 that minute, if it was the will of God. He sometimes used 
 that expression, * O why is his chariot so long in coming ? 
 
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 35 1 
 
 " He seemed to have remarkable exercises of resignation 
 to the will of God. He once told me that he had longed for 
 the outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God, and the glorious 
 times of the Church, and hoped they were coming ; and 
 should have been willing to have lived to promote 
 religion at that time, if that had been the will of God. But/ 
 said he, I am willing it should be as it is ; I would not have 
 the choice to make for myself for ten thousand worlds. 
 
 " He several times spoke of the different kinds of willing 
 ness to die, and mentioned it as an ignoble, mean kind of 
 willingness to die, to be willing only to get rid of pain, or to 
 go to heaven only to get honor and advancement there. 
 His own longings for death seemed to be quite of a different 
 kind, and for nobler ends. When he was first taken with 
 one of the last and most fatal symptoms in consumption, he 
 said, O, now the glorious time is coming ! I have longed 
 to serve God perfectly ; and God will gratify these desires. 
 At one time and another, in the latter part of his illness, he 
 uttered these expressions : My heaven is to please God, 
 to glorify him, to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted 
 to his glory ; that is the heaven I long for ; that is my reli 
 gion ; that is my happiness, and always was ever since I sup 
 posed I had any true religion. All those who are of that 
 religion, shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to 
 be advanced, but to give honor to God. It is no matter 
 where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether I have a high 
 or low seat there, but I go to love, and please, and glorify 
 God. If I had a thousand souls, if they were worth anything, 
 I would give them all to God ; but I have nothing to give 
 when all is done. It is impossible for any rational creature 
 to be happy without acting all for God ; God himself could 
 not make me happy in any other way. I long to be in heaven, 
 praising and glorifying God with the holy angels ; all 
 my desire is to glorify God. * * * My heart goes out to the 
 burying-place, it seems to me a desirable place ; but O, to 
 glorify God ! that is it ! that is above all ! It is a great 
 
2 - 2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 
 
 comfort to me to think that I have done a little for God in 
 the world ; it is but a very small matter ; yet I have done a 
 little, and I lament it that I have not done more for him. 
 * There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing 
 good and finishing God s work ; doing the work that Christ 
 did. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any satis 
 faction beside living to God, pleasing him, and doing his 
 whole will. My greatest joy and comfort has been to do some 
 thing for promoting the interest of religion and the souls of 
 particular persons." 
 
 " After he came to be in so low a state that he ceased to 
 have the least expectation of recovery, his mind was peculiarly 
 carried forth with earnest concern for the prosperity of 
 the Church of God on earth. This seemed very manifestly 
 to arise from a pure disinterested love to Christ, and a desire 
 of his glory. The prosperity of Zion was a theme on which 
 he dwelt much, and of which he spake much, and more and 
 more the nearer death approached. He told me when near 
 his end, that never, in all his life, had his mind been so led 
 forth in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of 
 Christ s kingdom on the earth, as since he was brought so ex 
 ceedingly low at Boston. He seemed much to wonder that 
 there appeared no more of a disposition in ministers and 
 people, to pray for the flourishing of religion through the 
 world. Particularly he several times expressed his wonder 
 that there appeared no more forwardness to comply with the 
 proposal lately made from Scotland, for united extraordinary 
 prayer among God s people, and for the corning of Christ s 
 kingdom, and sent it as his dying advice to his own congrega 
 tion, that they should practise agreeably to that propo 
 sal. 
 
 " But a little before his death, he said to me, as I came 
 into the room, My thoughts have been on the old dear 
 theme, the prosperity of God s Church on earth. As I waked 
 out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God s 
 Spirit, and the advancement of Christ s kingdom, for which 
 
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 353 
 
 the dear Redeemer died and suffered so much. It is that 
 especially which makes me long for it. 
 
 " But a few days before his death, he desired us to sing 
 a psalm which related to the prosperity of Zion, which he 
 signified engaged his thoughts and desires above all things. 
 At his desire we sung part of the io2d Psalm. When we 
 had done, though he was so low that he could scarcely speak, 
 he so exerted himself that he made a prayer very audibly, 
 in which, beside praying for those present, and for his own 
 congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flour 
 ishing of religion in the world. 
 
 " His own congregation especially lay much on his heart. 
 He often spoke of them ; and commonly when he did so, it 
 was with peculiar tenderness, so that his speech was inter 
 rupted and drowned with weeping. 
 
 " Thus I have endeavored to represent something of the 
 character and behavior of that excellent servant of Christ, 
 whose funeral is now to be attended. Though I have done 
 it very imperfectly, yet I have endeavored to do it faithfully, 
 and as in the presence and fear of God without flattery, which 
 surely is to be abhorred in ministers of the gospel, when 
 speaking as messengers of the Lord of hosts. 
 
 " Such reason have we to be satisfied that the person of 
 whom I have been speaking, now he is absent from the 
 body, is present with the Lord ; not only so, but also with 
 him now wears a crown of glory of distinguished bright 
 ness. 
 
 "Oh that the things which were seen and heard in this ex 
 traordinary person ; his holiness, heavenliness, labor and 
 self-denial in life; his so remarkably devoting himself and 
 his all, in heart and practice, to the glory of God ; and the 
 wonderful frame of mind manifested, in so steadfast a manner, 
 under the expectation of death, and under the pains and 
 agonies which brought it on ; may excite in us all, both min 
 isters and people, a due sense of the greatness of the work 
 
354 MEMOIRS Of BRAINERD. 
 
 which we have to do in the world, of the excellency and ami- 
 ableness of thorough religion in experience and practice, of 
 the blessedness of the end of those whose death finishes such 
 a life, and of the infinite value of their eternal reward, when 
 absent from the body and present with the Lord ; and 
 effectually stir us up to constant and effectual endeavors 
 that, in the way of such a holy life, we may at last come to 
 so blessed an end Amen." 
 
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