GEORGE WASHINGTON S 
 
 RULES OF CIVILITY 
 
 CO 
 
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THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 PROF. CHARLES A. KOFOID AND 
 MRS. PRUDENCE W. KOFOID 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
5AT.T.ANTYNE, HANSON AND CO, 
 EDINBURGH AND LONDON 
 
GEORGE WASHINGTON S 
 
 ii 
 
 RULES OF CIVILITY 
 
 to tbcir Sources anfc IRestorefc 
 
 BY 
 
 MONCURE DANIEL CONWAY 
 
 HLottHon 
 CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY 
 
.72 
 
 TO MY SON 
 
 EUSTACE CONWAY. 
 
THE 
 
 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 A MONG the manuscript books of George 
 ^* Washington, preserved in the State 
 Archives at Washington City, the earliest 
 bears the date, written in it by himself, 1745. 
 Washington was born February n, 1731 O.S., 
 so that while writing in this book he was either 
 near the close of his fourteenth, or in his fif 
 teenth, year. It is entitled " Forms of Writing," 
 has thirty folio pages, and the contents, all in 
 his boyish handwriting, are sufficiently curious. 
 Amid copied forms of exchange, bonds, receipts, 
 sales, and similar exercises, an occasional pen- 
 and-ink face occurs ; and there are poetic selec 
 tions, among them lines of a religious tone on 
 "True Happiness." But the great interest of 
 the book centres in the pages headed: "Rules 
 
 M31605O 
 
8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company 
 and Conversation." The book had been gnawed 
 at the bottom by Mount Vernon mice, before 
 it reached the State Archives, and nine of the 
 no Rules have thus suffered, the sense of 
 several being lost. 
 
 The Rules possess so much historic interest 
 that it seems surprising that none of Washing 
 ton s biographers or editors should have given 
 them to the world. Washington Irving, in his 
 " Life of Washington," excites interest in them 
 by a tribute, but does not quote even one. 
 Sparks quotes 57, but inexactly, and with his 
 usual literary manipulation ; these were reprinted 
 (1886, i6)by W. O. Stoddard, at Denver, Colo 
 rado ; and in Kale s "Washington" (1888). I 
 suspect that the old biographers, more eulogistic 
 than critical, feared it would be an ill service to 
 Washington s fame to print all of the Rules. 
 There might be a scandal in the discovery that 
 the military and political deity of America had, 
 even in boyhood, written so gravely of the 
 hat-in-hand deference due to lords, and other 
 " Persons of Quality," or had concerned himself 
 with things so trivial as the proper use of the 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 9 
 
 fork, napkin, and toothpick. Something is said 
 too about " inferiours," before whom one must 
 not "Act ag. n y? Rules Moral." But in 1888 
 the Rules were subjected to careful and literal 
 treatment by Dr. J. M. Toner, of Washington 
 City, in the course of his magnanimous task of 
 preserving, in the Library of Congress, by exact 
 copies, the early and perishing note-books and 
 journals of Washington. This able literary 
 antiquarian has printed his transcript of the 
 Rules (W. H. Morrison : Washington, D.C. 
 1888), and the pamphlet, though little known to 
 the general public, is much valued by students 
 of American history. With the exception of 
 one word, to which he called my attention, Dr. 
 Toner has given as exact a reproduction of the 
 Rules, in their present damaged condition, as 
 can be made in print. The illegible parts are 
 precisely indicated, without any conjectural in 
 sertions, and young Washington s spelling and 
 punctuation subjected to no literary tampering. 
 Concerning the source of these remarkable 
 Rules there have been several guesses. Wash 
 ington Irving suggests that it was probably his 
 intercourse with the Fairfax family, and his 
 
io RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 ambition to acquit himself well in their society, 
 that set him upon " compiling a code of morals 
 and manners." (Knickerbocker Ed. i. p. 30.) 
 Sparks, more cautiously, says : " The most re 
 markable part of the book is that in which is 
 compiled a system of maxims and regulations 
 of conduct, drawn from miscellaneous sources." 
 (i. p. 7.) Dr. Toner says : " Having searched 
 in vain to find these rules in print, I feel justified, 
 considering all the circumstances, in assuming 
 that they were compiled by George Washington 
 himself when a schoolboy. But while making 
 this claim it is proper to state, that nearly all 
 the principles incorporated and injunctions 
 given in these i io maxims had been enunciated 
 over and over again in the various works on 
 good behaviour and manners prior to this com 
 pilation and for centuries observed in polite 
 society. It will be noticed that, while the spirit 
 of these maxims is drawn chiefly from the social 
 life of Europe, yet, as formulated here, they are 
 as broad as civilization itself, though a few of 
 them are especially applicable to Society as it 
 then existed in America, and, also, that but few 
 refer to women." 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. n 
 
 Except for the word " parents," which occurs 
 twice, Dr. Toner might have said that the Rules 
 contain no allusion whatever to the female sex. 
 This alone proved, to my own mind, that 
 Washington was in nowise responsible for these 
 Rules. In the school he was attending when 
 they were written there were girls ; and, as he 
 was rather precocious in his admirations, a 
 compilation of his own could hardly omit all 
 consideration of conduct towards ladies, or in 
 their presence. There were other reasons also 
 which led me to dissent from my friend Dr. 
 Toner, in this instance, and to institute a 
 search, which has proved successful, for the 
 source of the Rules of Civility. 
 
 While gathering materials for a personal 
 and domestic biography of Washington, 1 I dis 
 covered that in 1745 he was attending school in 
 Fredericksburg, Virginia. The first church (St. 
 George s) of the infant town was just then 
 finished, and the clergyman was the Rev. James 
 
 1 George Washington and Mount Vernon. A collection of 
 Washington s unpublished agricultural and personal letters. 
 Edited, with historical and genealogical Introduction, by 
 Moncure Daniel Conway. Published by the L. I. Historical 
 Society : Brooklyn, New York, 1889. 
 
12 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 Marye, a native of France. It is also stated in 
 the municipal records of the town that its first 
 school was taught by French people, and it is 
 tolerably certain that Mr. Marye founded the 
 school soon after his settlement there as Rector, 
 which was in 1735, eight years after the foun 
 dation of Fredericksburg. I was thus led to 
 suspect a French origin of the Rules of Civility. 
 This conjecture I mentioned to my friend Dr. 
 Garnett, of the British Museum, and, on his 
 suggestion, explored an old work in French and 
 Latin in which ninety-two of the Rules were 
 found. This interesting discovery, and others 
 to which it led, enable me to restore the damaged 
 manuscript to completeness. 
 
 The various intrinsic interest of these Rules 
 is much enhanced by the curious story of their 
 migration from an old Jesuit College in France 
 to the copy-book of George Washington. In 
 Backer s Jesuit Bibliography it is related that 
 the " pensionnaires " of the College of La Fleche 
 sent to those of the College at Pont-a-Mousson, 
 in 1595, a treatise entitled : "Bienseance de la 
 Conversation entre les Hommes." The great 
 Mussipontane father at that time was Leonard 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 13 
 
 Pdrin (b. at Stenai 1567, d. at Besangon 1658), 
 who had been a Professor of the Humanities at 
 Paris. By order of Nicolas Frangois, Bishop 
 of Toul, Father Perin translated the La Fleche 
 treatise into Latin, adding a chapter of his own 
 on behaviour at table. The book, dedicated 
 to the Bishop of Toul, was first printed (16) at 
 Pont-a-Mousson in 1617, (by Car. Marchand). 
 It was printed at Paris in 1638, and at Rouen in 
 1651 ; it was translated into Spanish, German, 
 and Bohemian. In 1629 one Nitzmann printed 
 the Latin, German, and Bohemian translations 
 in parallel columns, the German title being 
 "Wolstand taglicher Gemainschafft mit dem 
 Menschen." A comparison of this with the 
 French edition of 1663 in the British Museum, 
 on which I have had to depend, shows that 
 there had been no alteration in Father Perm s 
 Latin, though it is newly translated. This copy 
 in the library of the British Museum was printed 
 in Paris for the College of Clermont, and issued 
 by Pierre de Bresche, " auec privilege du Roy." 
 It is entitled : " Les Maximes de la Gentillesse 
 et de P Honnestetd en la Conversation entre les 
 Hommes. Communis Vitas inter homines scita 
 
H RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 urbanitas. Par tin Pere de la Compagnie de 
 Jesus." 
 
 In dedicating this new translation (1663) to 
 the youth of Clermont, Pierre de Bresche is 
 severe on the French of the La Fleche pension- 
 naires. " It is a novelty surprising enough to 
 find a very unpolished French book translated 
 into the most elegant Latin ever met with." M. 
 de Bresche declares that he was no longer able 
 to leave so beautiful a work in such " abjection," 
 and had added a translation which preserves 
 the purity of the French tongue, and is propor 
 tioned to the merit of the exquisite Latin ex 
 pressions. We can hardly suppose that Pierre 
 de Bresche was eulogising his own work, but 
 there is no other name in the book. Possibly 
 his criticism on the French of the original edi 
 tion was only that of an editeur desiring to sup 
 plant it. At any rate, as Father Perin wrote the 
 elegant Latin we cannot doubt that the chapter 
 he added to the book was in scholarly French. 
 
 The old book of the Jesuit "pensionnaires," 
 which, had they not ignored woman, might be 
 called the mother of all works on Civility, is 
 charming as well as curious. It duly opens 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 15 
 
 with a chapter of religious proprieties, at mass, 
 sacrament, sermon, and grace at meat. The 
 Maxims of secular civility open with the second 
 chapter, and it will be seen that they are for the 
 gentry. They are mainly for youths whose 
 environments are portrayed in the interesting 
 frontispiece of the work, where they are seen in 
 compartments, at church, in college, in con 
 versation, at the fireside, in promenade, and at 
 table. We have already seen, from Backer s 
 Jesuit bibliography, that Father Leonard Perin 
 added a chapter on " biensdance " at table ; but 
 after this there is another chapter a wonderful 
 chapter and it would be interesting to learn 
 whether we owe this also to Perin. This last 
 chapter is exquisitely epicurean, dealing with 
 table-setting, table-service, and the proper order 
 of entries, roasts, salads, and dessert. It closes 
 and the book closes with a sort of sugar 
 plum paean, the sweets and spices being in the 
 end gracefully spiritualised. But this concluding 
 passage of Chapter XI. ("Des Services hon- 
 neurs de la Table ") must be quoted : 
 
 "Sugar-plums complete the pleasantness and enjoy 
 ment of the dessert, and serve, as it were, to satisfy 
 
16 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 pleasure. They are brought, while the table is still laid, 
 in a handsome box on a salver, like those given by the 
 ancients to be carried home. 1 Sometimes, also, they are 
 handed round after the hands have been washed in 
 rose water, and the table covered with a Turkey cloth. 
 
 " These are riches which we possess in abundance, and 
 your feasts cannot terminate more agreeably in your 
 quarters than with our Verdun sugar-plums. Besides 
 the exquisite delicacy of their sugar, cinnamon and ani 
 seed, they possess a sweet, fragrant odour like the breeze 
 of the Canaries, that is to say, like our sincerest at 
 tachment for you, of which you will also receive proof. 
 Thus you see, then, the courteous advice we have under 
 taken to give you to serve for a profitable entertainment. 
 If you please, then, we will bring it to a close, in order 
 to devote ourselves more zealously to other duties which 
 will contribute to your satisfaction, and prove agreeable 
 to all those who truly esteem good-breeding and decent 
 general conversation, as we ardently hope. 
 
 " Praise be to God and to the glorious Virgin ! " 2 
 
 1 This is not unknown at some of the civic banquets in 
 London. 
 
 2 " Les drage es acheuent la douceur de la resjoiiissance du 
 dessert & font comme 1 assouuissement du plaisir. Elles sont 
 porte es dans vne belle boette pose"e sur vn plat, les tables restans 
 encore dresses a la facjon de celles que les Anciens donnoient 
 a emporter en la maison. Quelquefois aussi les mains estants 
 desia laudes auec I eau-rose, & la table couuerte de son tapis de 
 Turquie, elle sont presenters. 
 
 " Ce sont des richesses que nous possedons en abondance & 
 vos festins ne se peuuent pas terminer plus agreablement que 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 17 
 
 The earlier editions of the book do not appear 
 to have been published for the outer world, but 
 were printed in the various colleges where they 
 were used. Another French work on the same 
 subject, but including much about ladies, pub 
 lished about the year 1773, plagiarises largely 
 from the Jesuit manual, but does not mention 
 it. It is probable therefore that the Pe rin 
 volume was not then known to the general 
 public. The anonymous book just mentioned 
 was translated into English. 1 Some of the 
 
 par nos drag^es de Verdun en vos quartiers. Elles ont parmy 
 les charmantes delicatesses de leur succre, de leur canelle, & 
 de leur anis, vne douce & suaue odeur qui dgale celles de 1 air 
 de nos Canaries, c est a dire de nos plus sinceres inclinations en 
 vostre endroit dont vous receuerez de mesme les tesmoignages- 
 Vous voyez done icy les advis de la ciuilite" que nous auons 
 entrepris de vous donner, pour vous servir d vn fructueux 
 divertissement. Nous les finissons done si vous le trouuiez 
 ngreable, pour nous porter auec plus de zele aux autres deuoirs 
 qui contribueront a vostre satisfaction, & qui seront agreables a 
 touts les veritables tstimateurs de la bien-seance & de 1 honnes- 
 tete de la conuersation commune, comme nous le soutraittons 
 auec passion. 
 
 " Loiiange a Dieu & a la glorieuse Vierge." 
 
 1 "The Rules of Civility, or Certain Ways of Deportment 
 observed amongst all persons of Quality upon seueral Occa 
 sions." The earliest edition I have found is that of 1678 (in 
 the British Museum Library), which is said to be "Newly 
 revised and much Enlarged." The work is assigned a French 
 
 B 
 
i8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 phraseology of the Pdrin book, and many of its 
 deas, appear in a work of Obadiah Walker, 
 Master of University College, Oxford, on 
 Education, but it is not mentioned. 1 
 
 Eighteen of the Washington Rules, and 
 an important addition to another, are not 
 among the French Maxims. Two of these 
 Rules, 24 and 42, are more damaged than 
 any others in the Washington MS., and I 
 had despaired of discovering their meaning. 
 But after my translations were in press I 
 learned from Dr. W. C. Minor that an early 
 English version of the Maxims existed, and 
 in this I have found additions to the French 
 work which substantially include those of the 
 Washington MS. Through this fortunate dis- 
 
 origin on internal evidence, .e.g., other nations than France are 
 referred to as "foreign," and " Monsieur" is used in examples 
 of conversation. The date is approximately fixed as 1673, 
 because it is said that while it was in prt ss there had appeared 
 " The Education of a Young- Prince." The latter work was a 
 translation of " De 1 education d un Prince. Par le Sieur de 
 Chanteresne" [P. Nicole], by Pierre du Moulin, the Younger, 
 and published in London, 1673. 
 
 1 Of Education. Especially of Young Gentlemen. In two 
 Parts. The Fifth Impression. Oxfoid : Published at the 
 Theatre for Amos Custeyne. 1887. [It \vas anonymous, but is 
 known to be by Obadiah Walker, Master of University College, 
 Oxford.] 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 19 
 
 covery the Rules of Civility are now completely 
 restored. 
 
 The version just alluded to purports to be 
 by a child in his eighth year. It was first 
 printed in 1640 (London), but the earliest edi 
 tion in the British Museum, where alone I have 
 been able to find a copy, is that of 1646, which 
 is described as the fourth edition. 1 The cover 
 is stamped in gilt, "Gift of G. III." The 
 translations are indeed rude, and sometimes 
 
 1 " Youth s Behaviour, or Decency in Conversation amongst 
 men. Composed in French by grave persons for the Use and 
 benefit of their youth. Now newly translated into English by 
 Francis Hawkins. The fourth edition, with the addition of 
 twenty-sixe new Precepts (which are marked thus *) London. 
 P.inted by W. Wilson for W. Lee, and are to be sold at the 
 Turks-head neert; the Miter Tavernc in Fleetstreet. 1646." 
 There are some lines "In laudem Authoris" by J. S., and the 
 following: " Gentle Reader, Thinke it not amisse to peruse 
 this Peece, yet connive at the Style : for it hath neede thereof, 
 since wi ought by an uncouth and rough File of one greene in 
 yeares; as being aged under eiyht. Hence, worthy Reader, 
 shew not thy self too-too-rigid a Censurer. This his version 
 is little dignified, and therefore likely will it appeare to thee 
 much imperfect. It ought to b_ his own, or why under the Title 
 is his name written ? Peradventure thou wilt say, what is it 
 to me? yet heare . Such is it reallv, as that I presume the 
 Author may therein be rendred faithfully : with this courte 
 ously be then satisfied. This small Treatise in its use, will 
 evidently appear to redound to the singular benefit of many a 
 young spirit, to whom solely and purposely it is addressed. 
 Passe it thuref .re without mistake and candidly." 
 
20 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 inaccurate as to the sense, but that they were 
 the unaided work of a child under eight is one 
 of the "things hard to be believed" which 
 a Maxim admonishes us not to tell. In the 
 edition of 1651 there is a portrait of Master 
 Hawkins at the age of eight, and the same 
 picture appears in 1672 as the same person 
 at ten. Moreover, in an edition of 1663 the 
 Bookseller," in an address "to the reader," 
 seems rather vague in several statements. " A 
 counsellor of the Middle Temple, in 1652, 
 added twenty-five new Precepts marked thus 
 (*) at which time a Gentleman of Lincolris- 
 Inn turned the Book into Latine." There are, 
 however, in this edition thirty-one Precepts not 
 in the French work, and of these twenty-six 
 are in the edition of 1646. The Latin version 
 appended (signed H. B.) is exactly that of 
 Father Perin, with the exception of a few 
 words, considerable omissions, and the addi 
 tional Precepts. The additions are all evidently 
 by a mature hand. 
 
 With the Hawkins volume of 1663 is bound, 
 in the British Museum Library, a companion 
 work, entitled, "The second Part of Youth s 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 21 
 
 Behaviour, or Decency in Conversation amongst 
 Women. 1664." This little book is apparently 
 by Robert Codrington, whose name is signed 
 to its remarkable dedicatory letter : " To the 
 Mirrour of her Sex Mrs. Ellinor Pargiter, 
 and the most accomplished with all reall Per 
 fections Mrs. Elizabeth Washington, her only 
 Daughter, and Heiress to the truly Honour 
 able Laurence Washington Esquire, lately de 
 ceased." 
 
 This was Laurence Washington of Garsden, 
 W T ilts., who married Elianor, second daughter 
 of Wm. Gyse ; their only child, a daughter, 
 having married Robert Shirley, Earl Ferrars. 
 Laurence Washington died Jan. 17, 1662, and 
 his widow married Sir William Pargiter. 1 
 
 In a letter to the New York Nation (5th 
 June 1890), I said: "Though my theory, that 
 the Rev. James Marye taught Washington these 
 Rules, has done good service in leading to 
 the discovery of their origin, it cannot be veri 
 fied, unless the clergyman s descendants have 
 
 1 See "An Examination of the English Ancestry of George 
 Washington. By Henry F. Waters, A.M , Boston. New 
 England Historic Genealogical Society, 1889." 
 
22 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 preserved papers in which they can be traced." 
 I have since learned from the family that no 
 such papers exist. The discovery just men 
 tioned, that a Part Second of Youth s Be 
 haviour was published in 1664, and dedicated 
 to two ladies of the Washington family in Eng 
 land, lends force to Dr. Minor s suggestion 
 that Washington might have worked out his 
 Rules from the Hawkins version. It would 
 be natural that Part II. so dedicated should 
 be preserved in the Virginia family, and should 
 be bound up with Part I., published the year 
 before, as it is bound in the British Museum. 
 It is certain that one of the later editions of 
 the Hawkins version was used in the prepara 
 tion of Washington s " Rules," for the eighteen 
 Rules not in the French book are all from 
 "Youth s Behaviour" (1663). Moreover, the 
 phraseology is sometimes the same, and one 
 or two errors of translation follow the Hawkins 
 version. > Maxim ii. 16 begins : " Prenez 
 garde de vous echauffer trop au jeu, & aux 
 emportements qui s y eleuet." The second 
 clause, a warning against being too much 
 carried away by excitements of play, is ren- 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 23 
 
 clerecl by Hawkins, " Contend not, nor speake 
 louder than thou maist with moderation ;" and 
 in the Washington MS., "affect not to Speak 
 Louder than ordenary." 
 
 A careful comparison, however, of Washing 
 ton s Rules with the Hawkins version renders 
 it doubtful whether the Virginia boy used the 
 work of the London boy. The differences are 
 more than the resemblances. If in some cases 
 the faults of the Washington version appear 
 gratuitous, the printed copy being before him, 
 on the other hand it often suggests a closer 
 approach to the French of which language 
 Washington is known to have been totally 
 ignorant. As to the faults, where Hawkins 
 says ceremonies " are too troublesome," Wash 
 ington says they " is troublesome ; " where 
 the former translates correctly that one must 
 not approach where " another readeth a letter," 
 Washington has " is writing a letter ;" where 
 he writes " infirmityes " Washington has " In- 
 firmaties ; " the printed " manful " becomes 
 "manfull," and "courtesy" "curtesie." Among 
 the variations which suggest a more intimate 
 knowledge of French idioms than that of 
 
24 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 Hawkins the following may be mentioned. 
 The first Maxim with which both versions open 
 is : " Que toutes actions qui se font publique- 
 ment fassent voir son sentiment respectueux 
 a toute la compagnie." Hawkins : " Every 
 action done in view of the world ought to be 
 accompanied with some signe of reverence 
 which one beareth to all who are present." 
 Washington : " Every action done in company 
 ought to be with some sign of respect to those 
 that are present." Here the restoration of " re 
 spectueux," and the limitation of "publique- 
 ment" by "compagnie," make the latter ren 
 dering much neater. In Maxim viii. 47, which 
 admonishes one not to be angry at table, it is 
 said, " bien si vous vous fachez," you are not 
 to show it. Hawkins translates, " if so bee 
 thou bee vexed ; " but Washington more finely, 
 " if you have reason to be so, Shew it not." 
 Or compare the following versions of " Si vous 
 vous reposez chez vous, ayat quelque siege, 
 faites en sorte de traiter chacun selo son 
 merite." Hawkins: "if there be anything for 
 one to sit on, be it a chair, be it a stool, give 
 to each one his due." Washington : " when 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 25 
 
 you present seats let it be to eveiy one accord 
 ing to his degree." Rule 45, for "moderation 
 et douceur" has "Sweetness and Mildness," 
 Hawkins only " sweetness." Again : " si vous 
 rencontrez ioliment, si vous donnez quelque bon- 
 mot, en faisant rire les autres, empeschez-vous- 
 en, le plus qu il vous sera possible." Hawkins : 
 " When so it falleth out that thou deliver some 
 happy lively an jolly conceit abstaine thou, 
 and let others laugh." Washington : " if you 
 Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain 
 from laughing thereat yourself." 
 
 Yet how curt is the version last quoted, and 
 how blundering the sentence ! Washington s 
 spelling was always faulty, but it is not charac 
 teristic of him to write "abtain" for "abstain." 
 This is one of many signs of haste, suggesting 
 that his pen was following oral instruction. The 
 absence of punctuation is normal ; in some cases 
 words have dropped out : such clerical mistakes 
 occur as "eys," "but" for "put," "top" for 
 "of," "whth" for "without," and "affection" for 
 "affectation" the needed letters being in the 
 last case interlined. Except as regards punctua 
 tion, no similar errors occur in any manuscript 
 
26 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 from Washington s hand, cither in youth or age. 
 Another reason for supposing that he may have 
 been following an instructor is the excessive 
 abbreviation. It was by no means characteristic 
 of Washington to suppress details, but here his 
 condensation sometimes deprives maxims of 
 something of their force, if not of their sense. 
 fc.g., Rule 59 : " Never express anything unbe 
 coming, nor Act ag - 1 y e Rules Moral before your 
 inferiours." Cf. Hawkins : "Never expresse any 
 thing unbeseeming, nor act against the Rules 
 morall, before thy inferiours, for in these things, 
 thy own guilt will multiply Crimes by example, 
 and as it were, confirme 111 by authority." And 
 "Shift not yourself in the sight of others" hardly 
 does duty for the precept, " It is insufferable im 
 politeness to stretch the body, extend the arms, 
 and assume different postures." There are, 
 however, but few instances in which the sense 
 of the original has been lost ; indeed, the ren 
 dering of the Washington MS. is generally an 
 improvement on the original, which is too dif 
 fuse, and even more an improvement on the 
 Hawkins version. 
 
 Indeed, although Washington was precocious, 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 27 
 
 a surveyor at seventeen, it would argue qua 
 lities not hitherto ascribed to him were we to 
 suppose that, along with his faulty grammar and 
 spelling, he was competent at fourteen for such 
 artistic selection and prudent omission as are 
 shown by a comparison of his no Rules with 
 the 170 much longer ones of the English ver 
 sion. The omission of religious passages, save 
 the very general ones with which the Rules 
 close, and of all scriptural ones, is equally 
 curious whether we refer the Rules to young 
 Washington or to the Rector who taught him. 
 But it would be of some significance if we sup 
 pose the boy to have omitted the precept to live 
 " peeceably in that vocation unto which provi 
 dence hath called thee ; " and still more that he 
 should have derived nothing from the following : 
 " Do not think thou canst be a friend to the 
 King whilst thou art an enemy to God : if thy 
 crying iniquity should invite God s judgments to 
 the Court, it would cost thy Soveraigne dear, to 
 give them entertainment." If Washington was 
 acquainted with Part II. of "Youth s Behaviour," 
 relating to women and dedicated to ladies of 
 the Washington race, it is remarkable that no 
 
28 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 word relating to that sex is found among his 
 Rules. 1 
 
 On the whole, though it is very uncertain, the 
 balance of probabilities seems to favour the 
 theory that the Rules of Civility, found in a copy 
 book among school exercises, exceedingly ab 
 breviated, and marked by clerical errors unusual 
 with Washington, were derived from the oral 
 teachings of his preceptor ; that this Frenchman 
 utilised (and was once or twice misled by) the 
 English version along with the original, which 
 had been used as a manual in his Rouen College. 
 
 The Marie family of Rouen, from which came 
 the Maryes of Virginia, is distinguished both 
 in Catholic and Huguenot annals. Among the 
 eminent Jesuit authors was Pierre Marie, who 
 
 1 In the edition of Hawkins (1663) bound up with Part II. in 
 the British Museum (bearing on the cover the name and arms 
 of the " Hon ble - Thos. Greville ") there is just one precept con 
 cerning women: " If thou art yet unmarried, but intendest to 
 get thee a wife modest, rather than beautiful, meddle not with 
 those Ladies of the Game, who make pageants of their Cheeks, 
 and Shops of their Shoulders, and (contrary to all other Trades) 
 keep open their Windows on the Sabbath-day, impudently ex 
 posing their nakedness to the view of a whole Congregation," 
 &c. There are, in an appendix, pictures of a puritanically 
 shrouded " Virtue," and a " Vice " who, apart from the patches 
 on her face, singularly resembles a portrait of pretty Lady 
 Ferrars in Codrington s book (ante, p. 21) ed. 1672. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 29 
 
 was born at Rouen, 1589, and died at Bourges, 
 1645. He was author of "La Sainte Solitude ; ou 
 les Entretiens solitaires de Fame," and of " La 
 Science du Crucifix : en forme de meditations." 
 The family was divided by the Huguenot move 
 ment, and a Protestant branch took root in 
 England. Concerning the latter, Agnew (French 
 Protestant Exiles, i. p. 100) gives the following 
 information : 
 
 "Jean Marie, pasteur of Lion-sur-mer, was a refugee 
 in England from the St. Bartholomew massacre. He is 
 supposed to have belonged to the same family as the 
 Huguenot martyr, Marin Marie, a native of St. George 
 in the diocese of Lisieux. It was in the year 1559 that 
 that valiant man, who had become a settler in Geneva, 
 was arrested at Sens when on a missionary journey to 
 France, laden with a bale of Bibles and New Testa 
 ments, and publications for the promotion of the Pro 
 testant Reformation ; he was burnt at Paris, in the 
 place Maubert, on the 3d of August of that year. Our 
 pasteur was well received in England, and was sent to 
 Norwich, of which city he appears to have been the first 
 French minister. He was lent to the reformed churches 
 of France when liberty of preaching revived, and so 
 returned to Normandy, where we find him in 1583. 
 The first National Synod of Vitrd held its meetings in 
 that year, between the 15th and 2yth of May. Quick s 
 Synodicon (vol. i. p. 153) quotes the following 
 
30 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 minute : Our brother, Monsieur Marie, minister of 
 the church of Norwich in England, but living at present 
 in Normandy, shall be obliged to return tmto his church 
 upon its first summons ; yet, because of the great success 
 of his ministry in these parts, his church may be entreated 
 to continue for some longer time his absence from it. 
 He certainly did return to Norwich, because on 2gih 
 April 1589 the manuscript Book of Discipline was sub 
 mitted to the consistory for signature ; and Jan Marie 
 signed first, and his colleague M. Basnage, second. 
 One of his sons, Nathaniel Marie, became one of the 
 pasteurs of the London French Church, and married ist, 
 Ester, daughter of the pasteur Guillaume De Laune, and 
 2d\y (in 1637), Ester le Hure, widow of Andre" Joye. 
 The Norwich pasteur had probably another son named 
 after himself, a commercial residenter in his native city ; 
 for two sons of a Jan Marie were baptized in Norwich 
 French Church : (i) Jan on 3d February 1600, and 
 (2) Pierre, on 6th July 1602. Madame Marie, probably 
 the pasteur s widow, was a witness at the first baptism." 
 
 James Marye, with whom we are particularly 
 concerned, sprang from the Catholic family, 
 and was born at Rouen near the close of the 
 seventeenth century. He was educated for the 
 priesthood, no doubt at the Jesuit College in 
 Rouen, where, as we have seen, Father Perm s 
 book on manners was printed in 1651. How 
 ever, James Marye abjured the Catholic religion 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 31 
 
 in 1726. This caused a breach between himself 
 and the family, which consisted of a widowed 
 mother, and her two other sons, Peter and 
 William (the latter an officer), both of whose 
 names, however, reappeared in their protestant 
 brother s family. In consequence of this aliena 
 tion James migrated to England, where he 
 pursued his studies, and was ordained by the 
 Bishop of London. In 1728 he married Letitia 
 Maria Anne Staige. She was a sister of the Rev. 
 Theodosius Staige, who was already in Virginia. 
 For that colony the Rev. James Marye also 
 embarked, in 1729, with his bride. Their first 
 child (Lucy) was born during the voyage. 
 
 It would appear that the purpose of this 
 emigration was to minister to a settlement of 
 French Huguenots at Monacan (or Manakin- 
 town, as it was called) on James River. The 
 first band of these refugees had gone over in 
 1690, under the leadership of Olivier de la 
 Muce, and 600 others had followed in 1699, 
 with their clergyman, Phillipe de Richebourg. 
 The Assembly of Virginia gave them a large 
 tract of land in Henrico County not far from 
 where Richmond now stands exempting them 
 
32 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 from taxation. The name of James Marye first 
 appears in Virginia (1730) as christening a child 
 in King William Parish, as it was called, after 
 the King who had favoured this Huguenot 
 colony. 
 
 In 1727 the town of Fredericksburg was 
 founded. In 1732 Col. Byrd visited the place, 
 and wrote : " Besides Col. Willis, who is the 
 top man of the place, there are only one mer 
 chant, a tailor, a smith, an ordinary keeper, and 
 a lady who acts both as a cloctress and coffee- 
 woman." This "Col. Willis" had married 
 Washington s aunt (and godmother), and there 
 were other families of the neighbourhood con 
 nected with the Washingtons. It was not until 
 1739 that Captain Augustine Washington (the 
 General s father) went to reside near Frede 
 ricksburg. Soon after the birth of George 
 (Feb. n, 1731 Old Style) the family left their 
 homestead in Westmoreland county, Virginia, 
 and resided on their farm, now known as 
 " Mount Vernon." (It was so named by Wash 
 ington s elder half-brother, Lawrence, who built 
 the mansion, in 1743-5, m honour of the English 
 Admiral Vernon, with whom he served as an 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 33 
 
 officer at Carthagena.) Although he nowhere 
 alludes to the fact, George Washington s earliest 
 memories, as I have elsewhere shown, 1 were 
 associated with the estate on which he lavished 
 so much devotion, and which the Ladies Mount 
 Vernon Association has made his most charac 
 teristic monument. The Rev. Jonathan Boucher, 
 teacher of Mrs. George Washington s son John 
 Custis, says that Washington was "taught by a 
 convict servant whom his father had bought for 
 a schoolmaster." This was probably one of a 
 shipload of convicts brought by Captain Augus 
 tine Washington from England in 1737. When 
 the family removed to the neighbourhood of 
 Fredericksburg (from which, however, they 
 were separated by the Rappahannock river), 
 the children went to school (probably) at Fal- 
 mouth, a village fifty years older than Frede 
 ricksburg, and about two miles above, on the 
 opposite side of the river. A church had been 
 erected in Falmouth (Brunswick parish), but 
 that in Fredericksburg was not completed until 
 some years later. After the death of his father 
 
 1 George Washington and Mount Vernon. Introduction, 
 p. xx\iii. 
 
 C 
 
34 
 
 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 (April 1 2, 1 743) George was sent to reside with 
 his half-brother Augustine, at "Wakefield," the 
 old homestead in Westmoreland where he was 
 born. He returned to live with his mother, 
 near Fredericksburg, in 1745. That he then 
 went to school in Fredericksburg appears by a 
 manuscript left by Col. Byrd Willis, grandson 
 of Col. Harry Willis, founder of the town, in 
 which he states that his father, Lewis Willis, 
 was Washington s schoolmate. The teacher s 
 name is not given, but there can be little doubt 
 that it was James Marye. 
 
 The Rev. James Marye s brother-in-law, Rev. 
 Theodosius Staige, had for a time preached in 
 the temporary structure in which the congrega 
 tion of St. George s, Fredericksburg, met before 
 the church was completed. It was probably 
 during a visit to Mr. Staige that Mr. Marye 
 made an impression on the people of that place. 
 At any rate the early Vestry-book shows that, 
 in 1735, the churchwardens, after the colonial 
 custom, asked leave of the Governor of Virginia 
 to call James Marye to their pulpit, and it was 
 granted. He is described as "Mr. Marie of 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 35 
 
 St. James," being then officiating at St. James 
 Church, Northam Parish (Goochland county, 
 Virginia). At what time and why he left 
 Manakintown is not clear. He fixed his first 
 abode eight miles out of Fredericksburg, in a 
 place which he called " Fayetteville ; " and it 
 is not improbable that some of his Huguenot 
 congregation had come with him, and attempted 
 to found there a village. Several infant churches 
 in the county (Spottsylvania), besides that of 
 Fredericksburg, were under supervision of the 
 Rector of St. George s Parish. 
 
 The Rev. James Marye remained in active 
 and successful ministry at Fredericksburg from 
 1735 unt ^ hi s death, in 1767. He founded the 
 large Virginia family which bears his name, 
 and which has always had eminent repre 
 sentatives. On his death he was succeeded 
 in St. George s Church, Fredericksburg, by 
 his son of the same name, whose honourable 
 tradition was maintained. His great-grandson, 
 John L. Marye, whose mansion, " Brompton," 
 stood on "Marye s Heights," so famous in the 
 Civil War, was an eminent lawyer ; as also is 
 
36 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 a son of the latter, John L. Marye Jr., former 
 Lieutenant-Governor of Virginia. 1 
 
 The founder of the Virginia Maryes, who 
 should be ranked among American worthies, was 
 an eloquent clergyman, and built up a noble 
 congregation in Fredericksburg. He was also 
 an accomplished gentleman and a scholar. That 
 he founded and taught the school is tolerably 
 certain. The Municipal Records, as we have 
 seen, ascribe the school a French origin. The 
 name and condition of every respectable resi 
 dent of Fredericksburg, at the time of his sett 
 ling there, when it was little more than a " paper 
 town" (in colonial phrase), is known. There 
 was in the place no one certainly no " French 
 man" except Marye who could have taught a 
 school of such importance as that at Frede 
 ricksburg. For it presently became known 
 throughout Virginia as the chief Academy, es 
 pecially for classical education, and its reputation 
 continued for more than a hundred years. 2 
 
 1 For valuable information concerning the Marye family and 
 its descendants, see Brock s " Huguenot Emigration to Vir 
 ginia." (Virginia Hist. Soc., Richmond, 1886.) 
 
 2 In a note I have from John L. Marye (sometime Lieutenant- 
 Governor of Virginia), he says : "As to the habit of the Parish 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 37 
 
 Some of the Rules may strike the modern 
 reader as snobbish, even for the observance of 
 youth. But the originals are in that respect 
 toned down in Washington s MS. Rule 9 takes 
 no cognizance of the principle of the original, 
 that to approach nearer the fire than others, and 
 to turn one s back to it, are privileges of persons 
 of rank. The i;th Maxim of chapter iii., which 
 directed certain kissings of the hands of supe 
 riors, or of the robe, and other abasements, is 
 entirely omitted. Where the original commands 
 that we should never dispute in any fashion 
 with our superiors in rank, Rule 34 says we 
 ought not to "begin" with them. The only 
 thing clear about which is that the instructor 
 did not wish to admit authority so abso 
 lutely into the realm of argument. Rule 
 46 omits so much of the original as counsels 
 grateful acceptance of reproof from another 
 "the more if you depend on his authority." 
 
 Minister to conduct or overlook the schools, it would appear 
 most probable that this was the case in 1745, when we remember 
 how destitute at that era colonial society was of well -organized 
 public or private schools (save the Tutors in families). When 
 I entered Mr. Hanson s school in 1834, it was the custom of 
 Parson M c Guire and some of the Vestry to attend the annual 
 lixaminations. " 
 
38 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 Other instances of this more liberal tendency 
 will be noticed by those who make a careful 
 comparison of the Rules and the French 
 Maxims. 
 
 Here then are rules of conduct, taught, if my 
 theory be correct, by a French protestant pil 
 grim, unknown to fame, in the New World. 
 They were taught to a small school of girls and 
 boys, in a town of hardly a hundred inhabitants. 
 They are maxims partly ethical, but mainly 
 relate to manners and civility ; they are wise, 
 gentle, and true. A character built on them 
 would be virtuous, and probably great. The 
 publisher of the English version (1663) says that 
 Mr. Pinchester, a learned scholar of Oxford," 
 bought 250 copies for a great school he was 
 about to open in London. Probably the school 
 founded by James Marye was the first in the 
 New World in which good manners were seri 
 ously taught. 1 Nay, where is there any such 
 school to-day? 
 
 1 It is probable that Mr. Marye s fine precedent was followed, 
 to some extent, in the Fredericksburg Academy. The present 
 writer, who entered it just a hundred years after George 
 Washington recorded the " Rules," recalls, as his first clear 
 remembrance of the school, some words of the worthy Principal, 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 39 
 
 Just this one colonial school, by the good 
 fortune of having for its master or superinten 
 dent an ex-jesuit French scholar, we may sup 
 pose instructed in civility ; and out of that 
 school, in what was little more than a village, 
 came an exceptionally large number of eminent 
 men. In that school three American Presidents 
 received their early education, Washington, 
 Madison, and Monroe. 
 
 It may be pretty confidently stated that both 
 Madison and Monroe owed their success and 
 eminence more to their engaging manners than 
 to great intellectual powers. They were even 
 notably deficient in that oratorical ability which 
 counted for so much in the political era with 
 which they were connected. They rarely spoke 
 in Congress. When speaking, Madison was 
 hesitating, and was heard with difficulty ; but 
 
 Thomas Hanson, on gentlemanly behaviour. Alluding to some 
 former pupil, who had become distinguished, he said, " I 
 remember, on one occasion, in a room where all were gathered 
 around the fire the weather being very cold that some one 
 entered, and this boy promptly arose and gave the new-comer 
 his seat at the fire. It made an impression on me which I have 
 never forgotten." And how long have lasted in the memory of 
 the writer hereof the very words of our teacher s homage to the 
 considerate boy who obeyed Washington s eighth Rule ! 
 
40 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 his quietness and modesty, his consideration 
 for others, made the eloquent speak for him. 
 Whether these two statesmen were personally 
 taught by James Marye is doubtful, for he was 
 getting old when they were at school in Frede- 
 ricksburg ; but we may feel sure that civility 
 was still taught there in their time, as, indeed, 
 it was within the memory of many now living. 
 
 George Washington, though even less able 
 than the two others to speak in public, had 
 naturally a strong intellect. But in boyhood he 
 had much more against him than most of his 
 young comrades, obstructions that could be 
 surmounted only by character. PI is father had 
 much land but little money ; at his death, 
 (1743,) the lands were left chiefly to his sons by 
 the first wife. His widow was left poor, and 
 her eldest son, George, had not the fair prospect 
 of most of his schoolmates. Instead of being 
 prepared for William and Mary College, he was 
 prepared only for going into some business as 
 soon as possible, so as to earn support for his 
 mother and her four younger children. In his 
 old book of school-exercises, the k Rules of 
 Civility" are found in proximity to business 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 41 
 
 forms that bear pathetic testimony to the severe 
 outlook of this boy of fourteen. In the MS. of 
 Col. Byrd Willis, already referred to (loaned 
 me by his granddaughter, Mrs. Tayloe, of Frede- 
 ricksburg), he says : " My father, Lewis Willis, 
 was a schoolmate of General Washington, his 
 cousin, who was two years his senior. He 
 spoke of the General s industry and assiduity at 
 school as very remarkable. Whilst his brother 
 and other boys at playtime were at bandy and 
 other games, he was behind the door ciphering. 
 But one youthful ebullition is handed down 
 while at that school, and that was romping 
 with one of the largest girls ; this was so un 
 usual that it excited no little comment among 
 the other lads." It is also handed down that 
 in boyhood this great soldier, though never a 
 prig, had no fights, and was often summoned to 
 the playground as a peacemaker, his arbitration 
 in disputes being always accepted. 
 
 Once more it may be well enough to remind 
 the reader that it may yet be found that Wash 
 ington, in his mother s humble home on the 
 Rappahannock, read and pondered "Youth s 
 Behaviour," wrote out what it held for him, and 
 
42 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 himself became an instructor of his schoolmates 
 in rules of civility. It would be wonderful, but 
 not incredible. 
 
 Although Washington became a fine-looking 
 man, he was not of prepossessing appearance 
 in early life ; he was lank and hollow-chested. 
 He was by no means a favourite with the 
 beauties for which Fredcricksburg was always 
 famous, and had a cruel disappointment of his 
 early love for Betsy Fauntleroy. In his youth 
 he became pitted by smallpox while attending 
 his invalid half-brother, Lawrence, on a visit to 
 the Barbadoes. 
 
 But the experienced eye of Lord Fairfax, and 
 of other members of the Fairfax family, had 
 discovered beneath the unattractive appearance 
 of George Washington a sterling character. 
 Their neighbourhood, on the upper Potomac, 
 was much less civilised and refined than Frede- 
 ricksburg, and this young gentleman, so well 
 instructed in right rules of behaviour and con 
 duct, won their hearts and their confidence. It 
 had been necessary that he should leave school 
 at the age of sixteen to earn a living. At seven 
 teen he was appointed by Lord Fairfax surveyor 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 45 
 
 of his vast estates in Virginia, and for a time he 
 resided with his lordship at Greenway Court. 
 There can be little doubt that it was partly 
 through the training in manners which Wash 
 ington gained from the old French maxims that 
 he thus made headway against circumstances, 
 and gained the friendship of the highly-educated 
 and powerful Fairfax family. 
 
 It should be mentioned, however, that young 
 Washington s head was not in the least turned 
 by this intimacy with the aristocracy. He 
 wrote letters to his former playmates in which 
 no snobbish line is discoverable. He writes to 
 his "Dear friend Robin" : "My place of resi 
 dence is at present at his lordship s where I 
 might, was my heart disengaged, pass my time 
 very pleasantly, as there s a very agreeable 
 young lady lives in the same house (Col. George 
 Fairfax s wife s sister). But as that s only add 
 ing fuel to fire, it makes me the more uneasy, 
 for by often and unavoidably being in company 
 with her revives my former passion for your 
 Lowland beauty ; whereas, was I to live more 
 retired from young women, I might eleviate in 
 some measure my sorrows by burying that 
 
44 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 chaste and troublesome passion in the grave of 
 oblivion or etearnall forgetfulness, for as I am 
 very well assured, that s the only antidote or 
 remedy that I ever shall be relieved by or only re 
 cess that can administer any cure or help to me, 
 as I am well convinced, was I ever to attempt 
 anything, I should only get a denial which 
 would be only adding grief to uneasiness." 
 
 The young lady at Greenway Court was 
 Mary Gary, and the Lowland beauty was 
 Betsy Fauntleroy, whose hand Washington 
 twice sought, but who became the wife of the 
 Hon. Thomas Adams. While travelling on his 
 surveys, often among the red men, the youth 
 sometimes gives vent to his feelings in verse. 
 
 " Oh Ye Gods why should my Poor resistless Heart 
 
 Stand to oppose thy might and Power 
 At last surrender to Cupid s feather d Dart 
 
 And now lays bleeding every Hour 
 For her that s Pityless of my grief and Woes, 
 
 And will not on me Pity take. 
 I ll sleep among my most inveterate Foes 
 
 And with gladness never wish to wake, 
 In deluding sleepings let my Eyelids close 
 
 That in an enraptured dream I may 
 In a rapt lulling sleep and gentle repose 
 
 Possess those joys denied by Day." 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 45 
 
 And it must also be recorded that if he had 
 learned how to conduct himself in the presence 
 of persons superior to himself in position, age, 
 and culture, and it will be remembered that 
 Lord Fairfax was an able contributor to the 
 " Spectator " (which Washington was careful to 
 study while at Greenway,) this youth no less 
 followed the instruction of his io8th rule : 
 " Honour your natural parents though they be 
 poor." His widowed mother was poor, and she 
 was ignorant, but he was devoted to her ; being 
 reverential and gracious to her even when with 
 advancing age she became somewhat morose 
 and exacting, while he was loaded with public 
 cares. 
 
 I am no worshipper of Washington. But in 
 the hand of that man of strong brain and 
 powerful passions once lay the destiny of the 
 New World, in a sense, human destiny. But 
 for his possession of the humility and self- 
 discipline underlying his Rules of Civility, the 
 ambitious politicians of the United States might 
 to-day be popularly held to a much lower 
 standard. The tone of his character was so 
 entirely that of modesty, he was so fundament- 
 
46 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 ally patriotic, that even his faults are transformed 
 to virtues, and the very failures of his declin 
 ing years are popularly accounted successes. 
 He alone was conscious of his mental decline, 
 and gave this as a reason for not accepting a 
 third nomination for the Presidency. This 
 humility has established an unwritten law of 
 limitation on vaulting presidential ambitions. 
 Indeed, intrigue and corruption in America 
 must ever struggle with the idealised phantom 
 of this grand personality. 
 
 These Rules of Civility go forth with the hope 
 that they will do more than amuse the reader 
 by their quaintness, and that their story will 
 produce an impression beyond that of its pictur- 
 esqueness. The strong probabilities that they 
 largely moulded the character of Washington, 
 and so influenced the human race, may raise 
 the question, whether the old French Jesuits, and 
 the pilgrim, James Marye, did not possess, more 
 truly than our contemporary educators, the art 
 and mystery of moral education. In these days, 
 when ethical is replacing theological instruction, 
 in the home and in the school, there appears 
 danger that it may repeat some of the mistakes 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 47 
 
 of its predecessor. The failure of what was 
 called Religion to promote moral culture is 
 now explicable : its scheme of terror and hope 
 appealed to and powerfully stimulated selfish 
 ness, and was also fundamentally anti-social, 
 cultivating alienation of all who did not hold 
 certain dogmas. The terrors and hopes having 
 faded away, the selfishness they developed 
 remains, and is only unchained by the decay 
 of superstition. On the other hand, the social 
 sentiment has thrown off sectarian restrictions, 
 and an enthusiasm of humanity has succeeded. 
 It is now certain that the social instinct is the 
 only one which can be depended on to influence 
 conduct to an extent comparable with the sway 
 once exercised by superstitious terrors and 
 expectations of celestial reward. The child is 
 spiritually a creation of the commune ; there 
 can be no other motive so early responsive as 
 that which desires the approval and admiration 
 of those by whom it is surrounded. 
 
 To attempt the training of human character 
 by means of ethical philosophy or moral science 
 as it used to be called appears to be some 
 what of a theological " survival." When the 
 
48 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 sanctions of authority were removed from the 
 pagan deities they were found to have been 
 long reduced in the nursery to the dimensions 
 of fairies. The tremendous conceptions of 
 Christian theology may some day be revealed 
 as similarly diminished in the catechised mind 
 of childhood. And the abstract principles of 
 ethical philosophy cannot hope for any better 
 fate. The child s mind cannot receive the 
 metaphysics of virtue. It is impossible to 
 explain to a child, for instance, the reasons for 
 truthfulness, which, indeed, have grown out of 
 the experience of the human race as matured 
 by many ages. And so of humanity to animals, 
 which is mainly a Darwinian revival of Buddhist 
 sentiment based on a doctrine of transmigration. 
 And the same may be said of other virtues. 
 We must not suppose that a child has no 
 scepticism because he cannot express or explain 
 it in words ; it will appear in the sweetness to 
 him of stolen apples, in the fact that to label a 
 thing "naughty" may only render it more 
 tempting to a healthy boy. A philosopher said, 
 " A fence is the temptation to a jump." 
 
 Our ethical teaching is vitiated by an in- 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 49 
 
 heritance from theology of a superstition which 
 subordinates conduct to its motives. Really, if 
 conduct be good, the motive (generally too 
 complex for even consciousness to analyse) is of 
 least importance. Motives are important as 
 causing conduct, but the Law is just in assuming 
 good or bad motives for the corresponding 
 actions. The world does not depend on a man s 
 inner but on his outer life. Emerson once 
 scandalised some of his admirers by saying that 
 he preferred a person who did not respect the 
 truth to an unpresentable person. But, no doubt, 
 he would regard the presentable person as 
 possessing virtues of equal importance. The 
 nurture of "civility and decent behaviour in 
 company and conversation," is not of secondary, 
 but primary, importance. 
 
 For what does it imply ? If the Rules about 
 to be submitted are examined, it will be found 
 that their practice draws on the whole moral 
 world, as in walking every step draws on the uni 
 versal gravitation. Scarcely one Rule is there 
 that does not involve self-restraint, modesty, 
 habitual consideration of others, and, to a large 
 extent, living for others. Yet other Rules draw 
 
 D 
 
50 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 on the profounder deeps of wisdom and virtue, 
 under a subtle guise of handsome behaviour. 
 If youth can be won to excellence by love of 
 beauty, who shall gainsay? 
 
 It may occur to the polished reader that well- 
 bred youths know and practise these rules of 
 civility by instinct. But the best bred man s 
 ancestors had to learn them, and the rude pro 
 genitors of future gentlemen have to learn them. 
 Can it be said, however, that those deemed 
 well-bred do really know and practise these 
 rules of civility instinctively ? Do they practise 
 them when out of the region of the persons or 
 the community in whose eyes they wish to find 
 approval ? How do they act with Indians, 
 Negroes, or when travelling amongst those to 
 whose good opinion they are indifferent ? In a 
 Kentucky court a witness who had spoken of a 
 certain man as " a gentleman," was pressed for 
 his reasons, and answered, " If any man goes to 
 his house he sets out the whisky, then goes and 
 looks out of the window." It is doubtful if 
 what commonly passes for politeness in more 
 refined regions is equally humanised with that 
 of the Kentuckian so described. Indeed the 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 51 
 
 only difficulty in the way of such teaching as is 
 here suggested, is the degree to which the words 
 "lady" and "gentleman" have been lowered 
 from their original dignity. 
 
 The utilization of the social sentiment as a 
 motive of conduct in the young need not, how 
 ever, depend on such terms, though these are by 
 no means beyond new moralization in any home 
 or school. An eminent Englishman told me 
 that he once found his little son pointing an old 
 pistol at his sister. The ancient pistol was not 
 dangerous, but the action was. "Had I told 
 him it was dangerous," he said, " it might only 
 have added spice to the thing, but I said, I am 
 surprised. I thought you were a little gentle 
 man, but that is the most ungentlemanly thing 
 you could do. The boy quickly laid aside the 
 pistol, with deep shame. I have found nothing 
 so restraining for my children as to suggest that 
 any conduct is ungentlemanly or unladylike." 
 And let my reader note well the great moral 
 principles in these rules of civility and decent 
 behaviour. The antithesis of " sinfull " is " man- 
 full." Washington was taught that all good con 
 duct was gentlemanly, all bad conduct ill-bred. 
 
52 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 It is to be hoped that the time is not far 
 distant when in every school right rules of 
 civility will be taught as a main part of the curri 
 culum. Something of the kind was done by the 
 late Bronson Alcott, in the school he founded in 
 Boston, Massachusetts, near fifty years ago, for 
 children gathered from the street. The school 
 was opened every morning with a "conduct 
 lesson," as it was called. It will be seen by 
 Miss Elizabeth Peabody s "Records of a School" 
 that the children crowded to the door before it 
 was opened in their anxiety not to lose a word 
 of this lesson. And, rude as most of the 
 children were, this instruction, consisting of 
 questions and answers, gradually did away with 
 all necessity for corporal punishments. 
 
 It were a noble task for any competent hand 
 to adapt the Rules given in this volume, and 
 those of the later French work, and still more 
 those of Master Obadiah Walker s book on 
 " Education," to the conditions and ideas of our 
 time, for the use of schools. From the last- 
 named work, that of a Master of University 
 College, Oxford, I will take for my conclusion a 
 pregnant passage. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 53 
 
 " The greatest Magnetismes in the World are 
 Civility, Conforming to the innocent humours, 
 and infirmities, sometimes, of others, readiness 
 to do courtesies for all, Speaking well of all 
 behind their backs. And 2ly Affability, which 
 is not only to be used in common and uncon- 
 cerning speech, but upon all occasions. A man 
 may deny a request, chide, reprehend, com 
 mand, &c. affably, with good words, nor is there 
 anything so harsh which may not be inoffen 
 sively represented." 
 
NOTE. 
 
 There has been no alteration of the original French 
 and English documents in the pages following. The 
 spelling, punctuation, use of small or capital letters, 
 italics, etc., whether faults or archaisms, are strictly 
 preserved. 
 
 The word Maxim refers to the early French work 
 (of the Jesuit Fathers). Rule refers to Washington s 
 MS. 
 
 Hawkins indicates the English version of the Maxims, 
 chiefly the anonymous additions thereto. See p. 19. 
 
 Walker refers to Obadiah Walker s work on Edu 
 cation, spoken of on p. 18. 
 
 The later French book refers to the anonymous 
 work of 1673, translated into English, mentioned on 
 p. 17. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 i? 1 Every Action done in Company ought 
 to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that 
 are Present. 
 
 MAXIMES, CHAP. II. 
 
 Chapter ii. i. Que toutes actions qui se font publique- 
 ment fassent voir son sentiment respectueux a toute la 
 compagnie. 
 
 All actions done before others should be with some 
 sign of respectful feeling to the entire company. 
 
56 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 2? When in Company, put not your Hands 
 to any Part of the Body not usually Discovered. 
 
 Chapter ii. 3. Gardez-vous bien de toucher de la 
 main aucune partie de vostre corps, de celles qui ne sont 
 point en veue, en la presence d aucune autre personne. 
 Pour les mains, & le visage, cela leur est ordinaire. Et 
 afin de vous y accoustumer pratiquez ce poinct de 
 ciuilite" mesme en vostre particulier. 
 
 In the presence of any one, never put your hand to 
 any part of the person not usually uncovered. As for 
 the hands and face they are usually visible. In order to 
 form a habit in this point of decency, practise it even 
 when with your intimate friend. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 57 
 
 3<? Shew Nothing to your Friend that may 
 affright him. 
 
 Chapter ii. 4. Ne faites pas voir a vostre compagnon, 
 ce qui luy pourroit faire mal au coeur. 
 
 Show nothing to your companion that may grieve him. 
 
58 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 4 1 ! 1 In the Presence of Others sing not to 
 yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum, 
 with your Fingers or Feet. 
 
 Chapter ii. 5. Ne vous amusez pas a chanter en vous 
 mesme, si vous ne vous rencontrez si fort a I e cart 
 qu aucun autre ne vous puisse entendre, non plus qu a 
 contre-faire le son du tambour par 1 agitation des pieds 
 ou des mains. 
 
 Do not seek amusement in singing to yourself, unless 
 beyond the hearing of others, nor drum with your hands 
 or feet. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 59 
 
 5 ! 1 If you Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do 
 it not Loud, but Privately ; and Speak not in 
 your Yawning, but put your handkerchief or 
 Hand before your face and turn aside. 
 
 Chapter ii. 8. Quand vous toussez ou quand vous 
 esternuez, si vous pouuez estre le maistre de ces efforts 
 de nature, n dclatez pas si hautement & si fort. Ne 
 poussez soupirs si aigres que les autres les puissent 
 entendre. 
 
 9. Ne soufflez pas si asprement, faisant des hurle- 
 ments en baaillant. Et s il vous est possible, empeschez 
 vous absolumet de baailler ; mais ayez en un bien plus 
 soin, quand vous entretenez avec quelqu vn, ou dans 
 quelque conuersation. Car c est un signe manifest d un 
 certain de"goust de ceux avec qui vous vivez. Si vous 
 ne pouvez pas empescher de baailler, du moins gardez 
 vous bien de parler en cet instant mesme, & d ouurir 
 extraordinairemet la bouche ; mais pressez la sagement, 
 ou en de"tournant tant soi peu la face de la copagnie. 
 
 Whenever you cough or sneeze, if you can control 
 these efforts of nature, do not let the sound be high or 
 
60 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 strong. Do not heave sighs so piercing as to attract 
 attention. Do not breathe heavily, or make noises in 
 yawning. If you can, abstain from yawning, especially 
 The later French while with any one, or in conversa- 
 
 book advises one, t j oru For Jt ig a ]a ; n s ; Qf & cer _ 
 in sneezing-, not to 
 
 shake the founda- tain dislike of those with whom you 
 
 tions of the house. , ,. T , , r 
 
 dwell. It you cannot keep irom yawn 
 ing, at least be careful not to speak while doing so, and 
 not to gape excessively ; press your mouth adroitly, or 
 in turning a little from the company. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 61 
 
 6* Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not 
 when others stand, Speak not when you should 
 hold your Peace, walk not when others Stop 
 
 Chapter ii. n. C est vne inciuilite" & vne impertinence 
 de dormir, pendant que la copagnie s entretient de 
 discours ; de se tenir assis lors que tout le monde est 
 debout, de se promener lors que personne ne branle, & 
 de parler, quad il est temps de se taire ou d e"couter. 
 Pour celuy toutesfois qui a rauthorite", il y a des temps 
 & des lieux ou il luy est permis de se promener seul, 
 comme a un Precepteur qui est dans la classe. 
 
 It is an incivility and an impertinence to doze while 
 the company is conversing, to be seated while the rest 
 stand, to walk on when others pause, and to speak when 
 you should be silent, or listen. For those in authority, 
 as a Master in school, there are times and places when 
 it is admissible to walk alone. 
 
62 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 7* Put not off your Cloths in the presence of 
 Others, nor go out of your Chamber half Brest 
 
 Chapter ii. 12. II n est pas scant d auoir son lict 
 en mauuais ordre dans sa chambre, non plus que de 
 s habiller en la presence des autres, ou de s y de poiiiller, 
 ou de sortir de sa mesme chambre a demy habille", 
 couuert de sa coiffe, ou bonnet-de-nuict, de raster de- 
 bout en sa chabre ou estre attache" a son pulpitre auec 
 sa robe ouverte\ Et quoy que vous ne manquiez pas de 
 serviteur qui prenne le soin de faire vostre lict ; toutes- 
 fois en sortant, prenez garde de le laisser dcouvert. 
 
 It is not seemly to leave your bed disarranged, to dress 
 or undress before others, or to leave your chamber half- 
 dressed, covered with a hood, or night-cap, or to remain 
 standing in your room or at your desk with open gown. 
 And although you have a servant to make your bed, 
 nevertheless, take care when you go out to leave it 
 uncovered. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 63 
 
 8 th At Play and at Fire its Good manners to 
 give Place to the last Commer, and affect not 
 to Speak Louder than ordenary. 
 
 Chapter ii. 15. II est mal-seant, dans le jeu, ou aupres 
 du feu de faire attendre trop long- temps ceux qui vien- 
 nent a s y presenter. 
 
 It is impolite at play, or at the fireside, to make the 
 new-comers wait for places too long. 
 
 (In the second clause, "affect not" &c., the Washing 
 ton MS. follows Hawkins in misunderstanding a phrase 
 of the next Maxim: " Prenez garde de vous dchauffer 
 trop au jeu, &* aux emportements qui s y eleuet," a 
 warning against being overheated at play, and "carried 
 away by its excitements.") 
 
64 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 9* Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before 
 it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to 
 warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire 
 especially if there be meat before it 
 
 Chapter ii. 17. C est une action peu hQneste de 
 cracher dans la chemine e, d approcher ses mains trop 
 pre"s de la flame pour les ^chauffer, & de les mettre 
 meme dedans, de se baisser deuat le feu, comme si 1 on 
 estoit assis a terre & s y tenir courbe". S il arriue qu il y 
 ait quelque chose deuant le feu, a cuire, prenez bien 
 garde d estendre le pied pardessus le feu. Dans une 
 honneste compagnie n y tournez iamais le dos, & ne 
 vous en approchez point plus pro s que les autres : car ce 
 sont des priuileges de personnes qualifiers. Quand il 
 n en est point besoin, de remuer le feu, y pousser le bois, 
 1 y fourrer plus auant ou Ten leuer, il n appartient qu a 
 celuy qui doit auoir le soin de tout ce qui est a faire. 
 
 It is not a handsome action to spit in the fireplace, or, 
 in warming the hands, to hold them nearly in the flame, 
 or as if resting on the ground and crouching beside it. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY, 65 
 
 If anything is cooked before the fire, do not extend your 
 foot over it. In polite society do not turn your back to 
 the fire, and do not approach it closer Theuseofthenega- 
 than others ; these are privileges of tive in the Fr ench 
 
 original ( n en est 
 
 persons of rank. When there is need point ) seems erro- 
 
 of stirring the fire, putting wood on ^^^ 
 
 it, pulling or lifting it, this belongs to lation - 
 
 the person who has the general superintendence of those 
 
 things. 
 
66 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 10^ When you Sit down, Keep your Feet 
 firm and Even, without putting one on the 
 other or Crossing them 
 
 Chapter ii. 18. Pour 1 ordre que Ton doit tenir e"tant 
 assis, c est de placer bien ses pieds a terre en e"gale dis 
 tance que les cuisses, non pas de croiser vne cuisse ou vn 
 pied sur 1 autre. 
 
 When seated, the feet should be placed well on the 
 ground, in even distance with the legs, and neither a leg 
 or a foot should be crossed on the other. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 67 
 
 1 1* Shift not yourself in the Sight of others 
 nor Gnaw your nails. 
 
 Chapter ii. 7. C est vne inciuilite" insupportable 
 d allonger son corps en estendant les bras, ou de faire 
 differents postures. 
 
 Chapter iii. 19. II ne faut iamais rogner ses ongles 
 dans le public, bien moins les prendre a beiles dents. 
 
 It is insufferably impolite to stretch the body, extend 
 the arms, or to assume different postures. 
 
 Do not pare your nails in public, much less gnaw 
 them. 
 
68 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 , 12 th Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl 
 not the Eys, lift not one eyebrow higher than 
 the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no 
 mans face with your Spittle, by approaching 
 too nea]r [when] you Speak. 
 
 Chapter ii. 21. Vous ne hocherez la teste, vous ne 
 remuerez point les jambes, ny ne roiiillerez les yeux, ne 
 froncerez point les sourcils, ou tordrez la bouche. Vous 
 vous garderez de laisser aller auec vos paroles de la 
 saliue, ou du crachat aux visages de ceux, auec qui 
 vous conversez. Pour obvier a ce"t accident, vous ne 
 vous en approcherez point si pre"s ; mais vous les entre- 
 tiendrez dans vne distace raisonnable. 
 
 Shake not the head, nor fidget the legs, nor roll the 
 eyes, nor frown, nor make mouths. Be careful not to 
 let saliva escape with your words, nor any spittle fly into 
 the faces of those with whom you converse. To avoid 
 such accident do not approach them too near, but keep 
 at a reasonable distance. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 69 
 
 13^ Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c 
 in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or 
 thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it 
 if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, 
 Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own 
 Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off 
 
 Chapter ii. 22. Gardez vous bie de vous arrester & 
 tue r vne puce, ou quelque sale bestiole de cette espece, 
 en presence de qui que a puisse estre. Que si quelque 
 chose d immode vient a vous offenser la veue, en regard 
 ant & terre, comme quelque crachat infect, ou quelque 
 autre chose semblable, mettez le pied dessus. S il en 
 attache quelque vne aux habits de celuy a qui vous 
 parlez, ou voltige dessus, gardez vouz bien de la luy 
 monstrer, ou a quelqu autre personne ; mais trauaillez 
 autant que vous pourrez a 1 oster adroitement. Et s il 
 arriue que quelqu vn vous oblige tant que de vous deTaire 
 de quelque chose de semblable, faites luy paroistre vostre 
 reconnoissance. 
 
 Do not stop to kill a flea, or other disgusting insect of 
 the kind, in the presence of any one. If anything dis 
 gusting offends the sight on the ground, as phlegm, 
 etc., put your foot on it. If it be on any garment of 
 one to whom you are talking, do not show it to him or 
 another, but do your best to remove it unobserved. If 
 any one oblige you in a thing of that kind make him 
 your acknowledgments. 
 
70 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 14^ Turn not your Back to others especially 
 in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on 
 which Another reads or writes, lean not upon 
 any one. 
 
 Chapter ii. 24. En la rencontre que Ton fait des per- 
 sonnes, quand on les entretient, c est une chose mal- 
 seante de leur tourner le dos & les e paules. C est vne 
 action impertinente de heurter la table ou d e branler le 
 pupitre, dont vn autre se sert pour lire, ou pour dcrire. 
 C est vne inciuilite* de s appuyer sur quelqu vn, de tirer 
 sa robbe, lors que Ton luy parle ou que Ton le peut 
 entretenir. 
 
 When one meets people, it is very unbecoming in 
 speaking to them to turn one s back and shoulders to 
 them. It is an impertinent action to knock against the 
 table, or to shake the desk, which another person is 
 using for reading or writing. It is uncivil to lean 
 against any one, or to pluck his dress when speaking 
 to him, or while entertaining him in conversation. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 71 
 
 1 5* Keep your Nails clean and Short, also 
 your Hands and Teeth Clean, yet without Shew 
 ing any great Concern for them 
 
 Chapter ii. 25. Gardez vcus bien de vous arrester en 
 toute sorte de conuersation, & rajuster vostre rabat, ou a 
 rehausser vos chausses pour les faire ioindre & en paroitre 
 plus galaud. Que vos ongles ne soient point replis d or- 
 dures, ny trop longs. Ayez grand soln de la nettete" de 
 vos mains ; mais n y recherchez point la volupte". 
 
 Take good care net to stop, in any sort of conversa 
 tion, to adjust your bands, or to pull up your stockings 
 to make them join so as to look more gallant. Do not 
 let your nails be full of dirt or too Hawkins: "with- 
 long. Have a great regard for the ut ver " " ch af - 
 
 tendance thereon, 
 
 cleanliness of your hands, but do not or curiosity." 
 be finikin about it. 
 
72 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 1 6^ Do not puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out 
 the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out 
 the lips, or bite them or keep the lips too open 
 or too close. 
 
 Chapter ii. 26. C est une vilainie de s enfler les joiies, 
 de tirer la langue, de se manier la barbe, se frotter les 
 mains, d estendre ses levres ou les mordre, de les tenir 
 trop serre es ou trop entrouuertes. 
 
 It is very low to puff out the cheeks, to put out the 
 tongue, to pull one s beard, rub one s hands, poke out 
 or bite the lips, or to keep them too tightly closed or too 
 open. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 73 
 
 I7 1 ! 1 Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any 
 that delights not to be Play d Withal. 
 
 Chapter ii. 27. Ne flattez & n amadoiiez personne par 
 belles paroles, car celui qui pretend d en gagner un autre 
 par les discours emmiellez, fait voir qu il n en a pas 
 grande estime, & qu il le tient pour peu sense" & adroit, 
 de"s qu il le prend pour vn home que 1 on peut ioiier en 
 cette maniere : n usez point de gausseries aupre"s d vne 
 personne qui s en offense. 
 
 Do not flatter or wheedle any one with fair words, for 
 he who aspires to gain another person by his honied 
 words shows that he does not hold him in high esteem 
 and that he deems him far from sensible or clever, in 
 taking him for a man who may be tricked in this 
 manner: do not play practical jokes on those who do 
 .not like it. 
 
74 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 iS 4 ! 1 Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in 
 Company but when there is a Necessity for the 
 doing of it you must ask leave : come not near 
 the Books or Writings of Another so as to read 
 them unless desired or give your opinion of 
 them unask d also look not nigh when another 
 is writing a Letter 
 
 Chapter ii, 28. C est vne action directemet opposed a 
 la bien-se"ance, de lire quelque livre, quelques lettres ou 
 autres choses semblables dans vne conversation ordi 
 naire, si ce n est en vne affaire pressante, ou pour quel 
 que peu de moments ; & mesme encore en ce cas, est-il 
 a propos d en demader la permission, si vous n estes, 
 possible, le Superieur de la compagnie. C est encore pis 
 de manier les ouvrages des autres, leurs livres, & d autres 
 choses de cette nature, de s y attacher, d en approcher 
 la veue de plus pre"s, sans la permission de celuy a qui 
 la chose appartient, aussi bien que de leur donner des 
 loiianges, ou les censurer, auant que Ton vous en de- 
 mande vostre sentiment ; de s approcher trop pre"s, 
 d incommoder celuy de qui ou est voisin, lors qu il prend 
 la lecture de ses lettres ou de quelqu -autre chose. 
 
 It is an act directly opposed to politeness to read a 
 book, letters or anything else during ordinary con 
 versation, if it be not a pressing matter, or only for a 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 75 
 
 few moments, and even in that case it is proper to ask 
 leave unless you are, possibly, the highest in rank of the 
 company. It is even worse to handle other people s 
 work, their books or other things of that nature, to go 
 close to them, to look at them closely without the per 
 mission of the owner, and also to praise or find fault 
 with them before your opinion has been asked ; to come 
 too close to any one near by, when he is reading his 
 letters or anything else, 
 
76 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 19* let your Countenance be pleasant but in 
 Serious Matters Somewhat grave 
 
 Chapter ii. 29. Que le visage ne paroisse point fan- 
 tastique, changeant, e"gare", rauy en admiration, couuert 
 de tristesse, divers & volage, & ne fasse paroltre aucun 
 signe d vn esprit inquiet : Au contraire, qu il soit ouuert 
 & tranquille, mais qu il ne soit pas trop dpanoiiy de joye 
 dans les affaires serieuses, ny trop retire" par vne granite" 
 affected dans la conversation ordinaire familiere de la 
 vie humaine. 
 
 The face should not look fantastic, changeable, absent, 
 rapt in admiration, covered with sadness, various and 
 volatile, and it should not show any signs of an unquiet 
 mind. On the contrary, it should be open and tranquil, 
 but not too expansive with joy in serious affairs, nor too 
 self-contained by an affected gravity in the ordinary and 
 familiar conversation of human life. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 77 
 
 20 th The Gestures of the Body must be 
 Suited to the discourse you are upon 
 
 Hawkins i. 30. Let the gestures of thy body, be 
 agreeable to the matter of thy discourse. For it hath 
 been ever held a solsesime in oratory, to poynt to the 
 Earth, when thou talkest of Heaven. 
 
 (The nearest Maxim to this is one directed against 
 excessive and awkward gesticulation in speaking, in 
 which it is said: " Parnty les discours regardez a mettre 
 vostre corps en belle posture" ( While speaking be careful 
 to assume an elegant posture}. 
 
78 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 21 s . 1 Reproach none for the Infirmaries of 
 Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in 
 mind thereof. 
 
 Chapter iv. 6. Ne reprochez les de"fauts a personne, 
 non pas mesme de la nature, & ne prenez plaisir a faire 
 confusion a qui que ce soit, par vos paroles. 
 
 Reproach none for their Infirmities avoid it equally 
 Hawkins adds : w h en they are natural ones and do 
 
 "which by no Art 
 
 can be amended." not take pleasure in uttering words 
 that cause any one shame, whoever it may be. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 79 
 
 22"? Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune 
 of another though he were your enemy 
 
 Hawkins i. 32. When thou shalt heare the misfor 
 tunes of another, shew not thy selfe gladed for it, though 
 it happ to thy enemy, for that will argue a mind mis 
 chievous, and will convict thee of a desire to have 
 executed it thy selfe, had either power or opertunity 
 seconded thy will. 
 
 {Nothing corresponding to Rule 22 is found among the 
 Maxims of the Jesuit fathers ; but the later French book 
 has the following : Shew not your self joyful and pleased 
 at the misfortunes that have befallen another, though you 
 hated him, it argues a mischievous mind, and that you 
 had a desire to have done it your self, if you had had the. 
 power or opportunity to your will. } 
 
So RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 23? When you see a Crime punished, you 
 may be inwardly Pleased ; but always shew 
 Pity to the Suffering Offender. 
 
 Hawkins i. 33. When thou seest justice executed on. 
 any, thou maist inwardly take delight in his vigilancy, 
 to punish offenders, because it tends to publique quiet, 
 yet shew pity to the offender, and ever Constitute the 
 defect of his morality, thy precaution. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 81 
 
 [24 th Do not laugh too loud or] too much at 
 any Publick [spectacle, lest you This Rule has been 
 
 nearly destroyed by 
 
 cause yourself to be laughed at.] mice. 
 
 Hawkins i. 34. Laugh not too much or too Loud, in 
 any publique spectacle least for thy so doing, thou pre 
 sent thy selfe, the only thing worthy to be laughed at. 
 
82 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 25*!* Superfluous Complements and all Affec 
 tation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where 
 due they are not to be Neglected 
 
 Chapter iii. i. Quoy qu il soit bon de s e"pargner vn 
 trop grad soing de pratiquer vne ciuilite" affecte e, il faut 
 pourtant estre exact a en obseruer ce qui est necessaire 
 & auantageux pour faire paroistre une belle Education, 
 & ce qui ne se peut obmettre sans choquer ceux auec 
 qui Ton converse. 
 
 Though it is right to avoid too great care in practising 
 an affected civility, yet one must be exact in observing 
 what is necessary and advantageous in order to show a 
 good education, and all that cannot be omitted without 
 shocking those with whom one is conversing. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 83 
 
 26^ In pulling off your Hat to Persons of 
 Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen, 
 &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less 
 according to the Custom of the Better Bred, 
 and Quality of the Persons Amongst your 
 equals expect not always that they Should 
 begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat 
 when there is no need is Affectation, in the 
 Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words 
 keep to the most usual Custom. 
 
 Chapter iii. 2. Te"moignez vos respects aux homines 
 illustres & honorables, le chappeau en la main, comme 
 aux Ecclesiastiques, ou aux Magistrals, ou a quelques 
 autres personnes qualifiers; en tenant vers vous le 
 dedans du chappeau que vous aurez oste" : Faites leur 
 aussi la reverence par quelque inclination de corps, 
 autant que la dignite" de chacun d eux, & la belle cou- 
 tume des enfants bien nourris, le semble exiger. Et 
 comme c est vne chose fort inciuile de ne se pas de couurir 
 devant ceux a qui Ton doit ce respect, pour les saluer, 
 ou d attendre que vostre e"gal vous rend le premier ce 
 deuoir ; aussi de le faire, quand il n est pas a propos, 
 resset sa ciuilite" affected : mais c est vne honteuse imper 
 tinence de prendre garde si Ton vous rend vostre saluta 
 tion. Au reste pour saluer quelqu vn de parole, ce 
 
84 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 compliment semble le plus propre, qui est vsite" par 
 personnes le plus polies. 
 
 Show your respect for illustrious and honourable men, 
 such as Ecclesiastics, Magistrates, or other persons of 
 quality, hat in hand, holding the inside of the removed 
 hat towards you; make your reverence to them by inclining 
 your body as much as the dignity of each and the custom 
 of well-bred youth seems to demand. And, as it is very 
 rude not to uncover the head before those to whom one 
 owes such respect, in order to salute them, or to wait 
 till your equal should perform this duty towards you first, 
 so also, to do it when it is not fitting savours of affected 
 politeness : but it is shameful impertinence to be anxious 
 for the return of one s salute. Finally, it seems most 
 fitting to salute any one in words, a compliment which 
 the politest persons are in the habit of using. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 85 
 
 27* Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent 
 than yourself be covered as well as not to do it 
 to whom it s due Likewise he that makes too 
 much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet 
 he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the 
 Second time of being ask d ; now what is herein 
 Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Salut 
 ing, ought also to be observed in taking of 
 Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without 
 Bounds is troublesome. 
 
 Chapter iii. 3. C est une grande inciuilite d entre- 
 prendre de prier vn superieur de se couurir, aussi bien 
 que de n en pas supplier celuy a qui cela se peut faire. 
 Et celuy qui se haste trop de se couurir, particulierement 
 en parlat a quelque personne qualifie e, ou qui presse" par 
 plusieurs fois de ce faire, le refuse, cheque la bien- 
 sce ance ; c est pour cela qu a la i. ou 2. fois il est permis 
 de se couurir, si 1 vsage ne se trouue contraire en quelque 
 Prouince ou Royaume. Et en effet entre les e"gaux, ou 
 auec de plus agez, soit Religieux, ou domestiques, il est 
 permis d accorder cette requeste a vn e"gal ou a vn plus 
 ieune, d6s la i. fois. Toutefois ceux qui sot e"gaux, ou 
 fort peu differents les vns des autres, ont coustume de 
 se faire cette priere, & de se couurir tout ensemble. 
 Toutes les remarques doc qui se sont faites icy de la 
 
86 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 bonne coduite, doiuent estre aussi entendues de 1 ordre 
 qu il faut tenir a prendre place, & a s asseoir : car le 
 plaisir que Ton prend aux ciuilitez aux compilings, est 
 tout a fait importun. 
 
 It is very impolite to ask a superior to be covered, as 
 it is not to do so in the case of one with regard to whom 
 it is proper. And the man who is in haste to put his 
 hat on, especially in talking to a person of quality, or 
 who, having been urged several times to do so, refuses, 
 shocks good manners ; for this reason, after the first or 
 second request, it is allowable to put the hat on, unless 
 in some province or kingdom where the usage is other 
 wise. In fact, amongst equals, or with those who are 
 older, or who belong to religious orders, or domestics, 
 it is allowable to grant that request to one s equal or to 
 a younger man, at the very first time. However, those 
 of equal rank, or between whom there is little difference 
 of rank, usually make the request and put on their hats 
 at the same time. All the remarks here made on polite 
 conduct, must also be extended to the order to be ob 
 served in taking places, and in sitting down ; for the 
 pleasure taken in ceremonies and compliments is really 
 irksome. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 87 
 
 28 th If any one come to Speak to you while 
 you are Sitting Stand up tho he be your In- 
 feriour, and when you Present Seats let it be 
 to every one according to his Degree. 
 
 Chapter iii. 5. Si vous estes assis, lors que quelq vn 
 vous vient rendre visile, leuez-vous de"s qu il approche ; 
 si la dignit6 de la personne demande cette deference, 
 comme s il a quelque aduantage sur vous, s il vous est 
 dgal, ou inferieur ; mais non pas fort familier. Si vous 
 vous reposez chez vous, ayat quelque siege, faites en 
 soite de trailer chacun selo son merite. 
 
 If you are sitting down when any one pays you a call 
 rise as soon as he comes near; whether his position 
 demands that deference, as having precedence over you, 
 or if he be your equal, or inferior ; but not if he is on 
 very intimate terms with you. If you are in your own 
 house, having any seat to offer, manage to treat each 
 guest according to his station. 
 
88 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 29^ When you meet with one of Greater 
 Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire espe 
 cially if it be at a Door or any Straight place 
 to give way for him to Pass 
 
 Chapter iii. 6. Quand vous rencontrez des personnes 
 a qui vous deuez du respect, outre les devoirs d vne 
 salutation ordinaire, vous estes oblige 1 de vous arrester 
 quelque peu de temps, ou de rebrousser chemin jusqu a 
 1 entr^e des portes, ou aux coins des rues, pour leur 
 donner passage. 
 
 In meeting those to whom you should shew respect 
 Walker says, "if beyond the salutations which are 
 
 you meet a superior 
 
 in a narrow way, their due, you should stop a little, 
 stop, and press to Qr retreat to a threshold, or to 
 
 make him more 
 
 room." the corner of the street, so as to 
 
 make way for them. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 89 
 
 30^ In walking the highest Place in most 
 Countrys Seems to be on the right hand there 
 fore Place yourself on the left of him whom you 
 desire to Honour : but if three walk together 
 the middle Place is the most Honourable the 
 wall is usually given to the most worthy if two 
 walk together. 
 
 Chapter iii. 7. S il arriue que vous faciez la pro 
 menade auec eux, vous leur laisserez tousiours la place 
 honorable, qui est celle qui sera marque e par 1 vsage. 
 A parler generalemgt, il semble que plusieurs Nations 
 ont passe" en coustume que la droite soit tenue pour vne 
 marque de reuerence, de telle soit, que quand quelq vn 
 veut deferer a un autre, il le mette a sa droicte, en pren- 
 ant sa gauche. Lors que trois hommes se promenent 
 ensemble, le plus qualine" a tousiours le milieu : Celuy 
 qui tient la droite, a le second lieu, & 1 autre qui reste 
 a la gauche, n a que le troisidme. Mais en France, 
 quand 1 on se promene au long d vn mur ; par ce que 
 ce lieu est presque toujours plus eleue" & plus net a 
 cause de sa pente, la coutume porte presque par tout 
 qu elle soit laisse"e au plus qualify, & particulieremet 
 quand deux personnes marchet ensemble. 
 
 If you happen to take a walk with them, always give 
 them the place of honour, which is that pointed out by 
 
90 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 usage. To speak generally, it appears that several 
 nations have made it a custom that the right should 
 always be held as a mark of esteem, so that, when any 
 one wishes to honour another, he will put him on his 
 right, himself taking the left. When three are walking 
 together, he of the highest quality always has the middle : 
 he who takes the right has the second place, and the 
 other who remains on the left has the third. But in 
 France, when walking by the side of a wall, that place 
 being almost always higher and cleaner because of the 
 slope, the custom almost always is that it be yielded 
 to the man of the highest quality, and particularly 
 when two are walking together. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 91 
 
 31? If any one far Surpasses others, either 
 in age Estate, or Merit [yet, in any particular 
 instance,] would give Place to a meaner than 
 himself [in his own house or elsewhere] the 
 one ought not to except it, So [the other, for 
 fear of making him appear uncivil, ought not 
 to press] it above once or twice. 
 
 Chapter iii. 9. Si celuy qui se trouuera beauconp 
 plus avance" en age, ou auantage" en dignite", soit en sa 
 niaison ou en quelqu autre lieu, veut honorer son infe- 
 rieur, comme il n est pas a propos que cet inferieur s en 
 estime digne, de mesme aussi ne faut-il pas que celuy 
 qui est superieur, Ten presse auec trop de soin, ou luy 
 tdmoigne sa deference plus d vne ou deux fois, de crainte 
 que rassiduite" de sa supplication rei tere e ne rabatte 
 quelque chose de la bone opinion que celuy qui le 
 refuse, avoit coceu de son addresse & de sa courtoisie, 
 ou qu il luy fasse commettre enfin une inciuilite". 
 
 If he who is nmch the older, or has the advantage of 
 rank, wishes, in his house or elsewhere, to honour his 
 inferior, as it is not fitting that such inferior should 
 think himself worthy, so also the superior must not 
 press him too much or show such deference more than 
 once or twice, lest the assiduity of his reiterated requests 
 lower somewhat the good opinion which he who refuses 
 had conceived of his tact and courtesy, or lest, at last, 
 it cause him to be guilty of some incivility. 
 
92 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 32? To one that is your equal, or not much 
 inferior you are to give the chief Place in your 
 Lodging and he to who tis offered ought at the 
 first to refuse it but at the Second to accept 
 though not without acknowledging his own 
 unworthiness 
 
 Chapter iii. 10. Mais entre les e"gaux, il est bien a 
 propos en receuant quelqu vn dans sa maison, de luy 
 donner la place la plus honnorable. Et celuy & qui Ton 
 fait un si bon accueil, en doit faire quelque refus d abord, 
 mais a la seconde instance de son amy, il luy doit obeyr. 
 
 But amongst equals, it is quite right, in receiving any 
 Maxim iii. s, which one into one s house, to give him the 
 
 says that acceptance 
 
 of a first place should most honourable place; and the per- 
 
 SOn tO whom OnG accords such a g ood 
 
 of unworthiness, is re- reception ought at first rather to 
 
 presented in the last 
 
 words of Rule 32. refuse it, but, when his friend insists 
 a second time, he ought to obey him. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 93 
 
 33? They that are in Dignity or in office have 
 in all places Preceedency but whilst they are 
 Young they ought to respect those that are 
 their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though 
 they have no Publick charge. 
 
 Chapter iii. 12. A ceux qui ont le comandement, & 
 qui sont dans le pouuoir, ou qui exercent les Charges de 
 Judicature, Ton donne tousiours les premieres places en 
 toute sorte de compagnie. Mais qu ils sfachent eux- 
 mesmes que s ils sont jeunes, ils sont obligez de respecter 
 ceux qui sont d aussi noble maison qu eux, ou qui les 
 deuancent de beaucoup en age, & sont honorez du 
 degre 1 de Doctorat ; quoy qu ils n exercent aucune charge 
 publique ; Et bien plus, ils leur doiuent d abord remettre 
 la premiere place qu il leur auoient defere", & en suitte 
 auec modestie, receuoir cest honneur comme une grace. 
 
 In every company the first place is always given to 
 those in command, or in power, or who exercise judicial 
 charges. But these, if young, should realise that they 
 ought to respect those who belong to houses as noble as 
 their own, or who are much older, and those honoured 
 with the degree of Doctor, though not exercising any 
 public function ; and moreover they ought, at first, to 
 return an offer of the highest place, and afterwards 
 receive that honour modestly, as a favour. 
 
94 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 34*! It is good Manners to prefer them to 
 whom we speak before our- 
 
 The second clause 
 
 is not in the French selves especially if they be 
 
 Maxims. 
 
 above us with whom in no Sort 
 we ought to begin. 
 
 Chapter iii. 13. II est de la derniere ciuilite" de parler 
 tousiours mieux de ceux auec qui nous avons a conuerser, 
 que de vous mesmes : Et particulieremet quad ce sont 
 des personnes e leue es audessus de nous, auec qui il ne 
 faut iamais contester en aucune maniere. 
 
 It is the height of politeness always to speak better of 
 those with whom we have to converse 
 
 Compare the last 
 
 clause of this Maxim than of ourselves. And particularly 
 
 with Rule 40. 
 
 when they are persons of a superior 
 rank to ourselves, with whom we ought never to dispute 
 in any fashion. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 95 
 
 35*! 1 Let your Discourse with Men of Busi 
 ness be Short and Comprehensive. 
 
 Chapter iii. 15. Le temps & le lieu, 1 age & la differ 
 ence des personnes doivent regler tout ce"t vsage de 
 compliments qui se fait parmy les plus polis, & pardcu- 
 lierement ceux qui consistent dans les paroles. Mais 
 Ton doit trancher court auec les personnes affairees & 
 ne leur presenter plus aux nez toutes ses agreables 
 fleurettes : il les faut pargner, & se faire entendre plus- 
 tost par mines, qu auec des paroles. 
 
 Time and place, age and the difference between per 
 sons, ought to regulate the whole custom of compli 
 ments as is done amongst the most polite, especially 
 compliments that consist in words. But one should 
 cut matters short with men of business, and not put 
 one s fine flowerets under their nose ; one should spare 
 them, and make himself understood rather by looks than 
 words. 
 
96 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 36 1 ! 1 Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought 
 not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others 
 of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour 
 them, and those of high Degree ought to treat 
 them with affibility Courtesie, without Arro- 
 gancy 
 
 Chapter iii. 16. Com me le soin de la ciuilite" la plus 
 raffine e ne doit pas beaucoup trauailler les esprits des 
 Artisants & de la lie du peuple enuers les Grands & les 
 Magistrals ; aussi est-il raisonnable qu ils ayent soin de 
 leur rendre de 1 honneur : de mesme il est a propos que 
 la Noblesse les traitte [sic] doucement les e"pargne, & 
 qu elle e uite toute sorte de superbe. 
 
 As the care for the most refined politeness ought 
 not to trouble much the minds of artizans and of the 
 dregs of the people, as regards Nobles and Magistrates, 
 while it is reasonable that they should take care to 
 honour such, so it is also right that the nobility should 
 treat them gently, spare them, and avoid all manner 
 of arrogance. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 97 
 
 37 1 ! 1 In Speaking to men of Quality do not 
 lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor ap 
 proach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace 
 from them. 
 
 Chapter iii. 18. En parlant aux personnes qualifies, 
 ne vous appuyez point le corps ; ne leuez point vos yeux 
 iusques sur leur visage ; ne vous en approchez pas trop 
 prds, & faites en sorte que ce ne soit iarnais qu a vn 
 grad pas de distance. 
 
 In speaking to persons of quality, do not lean your 
 body on any thing ; do not raise your eyes to their face ; 
 do not go too near, and manage to keep a full step 
 from them. 
 
98 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 38^ In visiting the Sick, do not Presently 
 play the Physicicn if you be not Knowing 
 therein. 
 
 Chapter iii. 19. Quad vous visiterez quelque malade, 
 ne faites pas aussi-tost le Medicin, si vous n estes point 
 experiment^ en eette science. 
 
 When you go to see any sick person do not imme 
 diately act the physician if you are not experienced 
 in that science. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 99 
 
 39 ! 1 In writing or Speaking, give to every 
 Person his due Title According to his Degree 
 & the Custom of the Place. 
 
 Chapter iii. 20. Lors que vous addresserez des lettres 
 a des personnes qui seront dans 1 estime publique ; vous 
 vous gouuernerez aupres d eux, selon la coustume du 
 pays & le degre" de leur dignite". Quand vous aurez 
 acheue" vos lettres, relisez-les, pour en oster les fautes ; 
 mettez de la poudre sur 1 escriture, lors qu il en sera 
 besoin & ne pliez ianiais vostre papier que les characteres 
 ne soient bien desechez, de crainte qu ils ne s effacent. 
 
 In addressing letters to persons held in public esteem, 
 you will be regulated by the customs of the country and 
 the degree of their dignity. When you have finished 
 your letters, read them over again so as to correct mis 
 takes ; sand the writing, when necessary, and never fold 
 your paper until the letters are quite dry, lest they be 
 effaced. 
 
loo RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 40^ Strive not with your Superiers in argu 
 ment, but always Submit your Judgment to 
 others with Modesty 
 
 Hawkins ii. 20. Strive not with thy Superiours, 
 in argument or discourse, but alwayes submit thy 
 opinion to their riper judgment, with modesty ; since 
 the possibility of Erring, doth rather accompany greene 
 than gray hairs, 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 101 
 
 41 s . 1 Undertake not to Teach your equal in 
 the art himself Professes ; it flavours of arro- 
 gancy. 
 
 Hawkins ii. 21. Doe not undertake to teach thy 
 equal, in the Art himself professeth, for that will savour 
 of Arrogancy, and serve for little other than to brand 
 thy judgment with Rashnesse. 
 
 (Nothing has been found in the French Maxims re 
 sembling Rule 41. Walker has the following : Cautious 
 also must be he -who discourseth even of that he under 
 stands amongst persons of that profession : an affectation 
 that more Scholars than wise men are guilty of; I mean 
 to discourse with every man in his own faculty ; except it 
 be by asking questions and seeming to learn " (p. 266) ). 
 
102 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 [42"? Let your ceremonies in] curtesie be 
 proper to the Dignity of his place [with whom 
 you converse ; it is absurd to ac]t y? same with 
 a Clown and a Prince. 
 
 Hawkins ii. 22. Let thy Seremonyes in Courtesy 
 be proper to the dignity and place, of him with whom 
 thou conversest. For it is absurd to honour a Clown 
 with words courtly and of magnificence. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 103 
 
 43 . 1 Do not express Joy before one sick or 
 in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate 
 his Misery 
 
 Hawkins ii. 23. Do not thou expresse joy before 
 one sick, or in paine ; for that contrary passion, will 
 aggravate his misery. But do thou rather sympathize 
 his infirmityes, for that will afford a gratefull easement, 
 by a seeming participation. 
 
104 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 44 ! 1 When a man does all he can though 
 it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it. 
 
 Chapter iv. 3. Celui qui fait tout ce qui luy est pos 
 sible, pour auancer vostre affaire, quoy qu il ne la meine 
 pas, & n en puisse auoir le succez come vous 1 esperez, 
 ne doit point entendre de reprimade ; puis qu il est plus 
 digne de loiiange que de blame. 
 
 The man who does all he can to advance your busi 
 ness, even though he should not bring it about, and 
 may not be able to obtain the success you hoped for, 
 ought not to hear reproaches, since he is more worthy 
 of praise than of blame. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 105 
 
 45 th Being to advise or reprehend any one, 
 consider whether it ought to be in publick or 
 in Private ; presently, or at Hawkins has oni y 
 
 1 sweetness, Wash- 
 
 Some other time in what terms ington being here 
 
 closer to the 
 
 to do it & in reproving Shew French. 
 
 no signs of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness 
 
 and Mildness 
 
 Chapter iv. 4. Si vous auez exhorter ou reprendre 
 quelqu vn, prenez bien garde, s il est plus a propos de 
 le faire en particulier ou en public, en ce temps ou en 
 vn autre, bien plus, quelles paroles vous y deuez em 
 ployer : Et particulierement lors que quelqu vn ayat est6 
 desia reprimade d autres fois, ne se corrige point des 
 fautes passe"es, ne promet point d amandement. Et 
 soit que vous donniez quelques auis, ou que vous fassiez 
 quelque reprimande, donnez-vous de garde de vous 
 mettre en cholere, au contraire pratiquez ces actions 
 auec moderation & douceur. 
 
 If you have to exhort or to reproach any one, con 
 sider whether it be better to do so in private or in 
 public ; at this time or another and, above all, what 
 words you should use : and particularly when some one 
 having been already reprimanded at other times does 
 not correct himself of his past faults, and does not pro 
 mise any amendment. And if you give any advice, or 
 impart any reprimand, carefully avoid anger ; on the 
 contrary, do such acts with moderation and sweetness. 
 
io6 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 46 th Take all Admonitions thankfully in 
 what Time or Place Soever given but after 
 wards not being culpable take a Time or Place 
 Convenient to let him know it that gave them. 
 
 Chapter iv. 5. Aussi quiconque se donnera la peine 
 de vous remonstrer de quelque fa.$o, en quelque lieu, & 
 en quelque temps qu il le fasse, qu il soit e coute de vostre 
 part auec beaucoup de ressentiment de bienueillance 
 & de reconnoissance. Et apres cela, si vous vous sentez 
 innocent, qu il vous semble a propos de vous prouuer 
 tel, il vous sera bien permis de le faire ; mais auec ce 
 soin de prgdre bien vostre temps, & plustost pour luy 
 en faire voir la verite", & le tirer de peine, & plus si vous 
 estes en sa charge, ou si vous releuez de son pouuoir, 
 que pour vous appuyer de quelque excuse. 
 
 Also when any one takes the trouble to rebuke you, 
 no matter how, where, or when he does it, hear him for 
 your part with much feeling of goodwill and acknow 
 ledgment. And after that, if innocent, and it seems 
 right to prove yourself so, you will be quite at liberty 
 to do so ; being careful, however, to choose a proper 
 time, and rather to make him see the truth, and relieve 
 him from anxiety, the more if you are in his charge 
 or depend on his authority than to defend yourself with 
 some excuse. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 107 
 
 [4J7*? Mock not nor Jest at anything of Im 
 portance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting, 
 and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent 
 abtain from Laughing thereat yourself. 
 
 Chapter iv. 7. Ne vous amusez point aux equiuoques 
 ny en matiere importante, ny en choses honteuses. Si 
 vous trouuez bon de railler, gardez vous bien de mordre, 
 & bien plus de de chirer comme vn chien. Que les bons- 
 mots & les rencontres soient tire es du suiet, que les vns 
 & les autres ayent leur gentillesse & leur pointe, sans 
 attirer 1 indignation de personne. Que les plaisateries 
 ne soient point comme celles des bouffons, qui font rire 
 par des representations extrauagates, & des actions des- 
 honnestes : si vous rencontrez iolirnent, si vous donnez 
 quelque bon-mot, en faisant rire les autres, empeschez- 
 vous-en, le plus qu il vous sera possible. 
 
 Do not divert yourself with equivoques, either in im 
 portant or in mean matters. If you find good occa 
 sion for a joke, be careful not to bite, still less to tear, 
 like a dog. Witticisms and repartee should be to the 
 point, and should have elegance and appropriateness 
 without exciting the indignation of any. Do not let 
 your pleasantries degenerate into those of buffoons, 
 who raise laughter by extravagant representations and 
 indecent action. If you are clever in repartee, if you 
 say a good thing, manage if possible, in making others 
 laugh, to abstain from it yourself. 
 
io8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 48*11 Wherein wherein you reprove Another 
 be unblameable yourself; for example is is 
 more prevalent than Precepts 
 
 Hawkins iii. 8. Be sure thy conversation be in that 
 poynt vertuous, wherein thou art desirous to retaine 
 another, least thy Actions render thy advice unprofit 
 able. Since the ratification of any advice is the serious 
 prosecution of that vertue. For example hath ever been 
 more prevalent than precept. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 109 
 
 49 1 ! 1 Use no Reproachfull Language against 
 any one neither Curse nor Revile 
 
 Hawkins iii. n. Use no reproachfull language against 
 any man, nor Curse, or Revile. For improperations 
 and imprecations will rather betray thy affections than 
 in any manner, hurt him against whom thou utters 
 them, 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 [5]o th Be not hasty to believe flying Reports 
 to the Disparagement of any 
 
 Hawkins iii. 10. Thou oughtest not too suddenly to 
 believe a flying Rumour of a freind, or any other. But 
 let charity guid thy judgment, untill more certainty : 
 for by this meanes thou securest his Reputation, and 
 frees thy self of rashness. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. in 
 
 51? Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or 
 Dusty but See they be Brush d once every day 
 at least and take heed that you approach not to 
 any Uncleanness 
 
 Chapter v. 4. Que vos habits ne demeurent point 
 sales, de chirez, couuerts de poussiere, ou pelez. Qu ils 
 soient tous les iours du moins vne fois nettoyez auec les 
 e*poussettes. Et prenez bien garde aussi en quel lieu 
 vous vous assoirez, oil vous vous mettrez a genoux, ou 
 vous vous accouderez, que le lieu ne soit point mal- 
 propre, ny reply d immondices. Ne portez point le 
 manteau sur le bras, a 1 imitation des Fanfarons. Et 
 mettant bas ou vostre robbe, ou votre mateau, pliez les 
 bien proprement & adroitement, & prenez bien garde 
 ou vous les posez. 
 
 Do not let your clothes be dirty, torn, covered with 
 dust or threadbare. Have them brushed at least once 
 a day. And take care also in what place you sit down, 
 or kneel, or rest your elbows, that it be not unfit or filthy. 
 Do not carry your cloak over your arm after the manner 
 of swaggerers. And when you take off your coat or 
 cloak, fold them neatly and carefully, and take care 
 where you put them. 
 
ii2 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 52? In your Apparel be Modest and en 
 deavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to 
 Accomodate na- procure Admiration keep to the 
 
 ture is a phrase 
 
 from a precept in Fashion of VOU1 equals Such 
 Hawkins concern 
 ing apparel, as are Civil and orderly with 
 
 respect to Times and Places 
 
 Chapter v. 5. Choisissez tousiours des habits sem- 
 blables a ceux de vos compagnons qui passent pour les 
 plus honnestes & moderez, en considerant les lieux & les 
 temps auec discretion : & outre cela, faites qu en ce 
 poinct vous paroissiez souhaitter d estre vestu le plus 
 simplement & modestement de tous vos dgaux, bien 
 plustost que d affecter les plus beaux vestements. 
 
 Always choose clothes like those of your companions 
 who pass for the most genteel and moderate, in discreet 
 consideration of time and place : and more, make it a 
 point to be the most simply and modestly dressed of all 
 your equals, rather than to affect the finest raiment. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 113 
 
 53? Run not in the Streets, neither go too 
 slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking y? 
 Arms [stamping, or shuffling ; nor pull up your 
 stockings in the street. Walk] not upon the 
 toes, nor in a Dancing [or skipping manner, nor 
 yet with measured steps. Strike not the heels 
 together, nor stoop when there is no occasion] 
 
 Chapter vi. i. Faites en sorte quand vous marchez, 
 de ne pas faire des demarches precipite es, d auoir la 
 Louche ouuerte & comme beante, & de ne vous trop 
 demener le corps, ou le pancher, ou laisser vos mains 
 pendantes, ou remuer & secouer les bras ; sans frapper 
 trop rudement la terre, ou ietter a vos pieds de part & 
 d autre. Cette sorte d action demande encore ces con 
 ditions, que Ton ne s arreste pas a retirer ses chausses en 
 haut, dans le chemin, que Ton ne marche sur les extre- 
 mitez des pieds, ny en sautillant ou s eleuant, comme il 
 se pratique en la dance, que Ton ne courbe point le 
 corps, que Ton ne baisse point la teste, que Ton n auance 
 point a pas coptez, que Ton ne se cheque point les 
 talons 1 un contre 1 autre en entrant dans 1 Eglise, que 
 Ton ne reste point teste nue a la sortie. Si la deuotion 
 n y oblige, comme lors qu il est question d accompagner 
 le Tres-sainct Sacrement. 
 
 In walking guard against hurried steps, or having 
 
 your mouth open and gaping ; and do not move your 
 
 H 
 
ii 4 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 body too much, or stoop, or let your hands hang down, 
 or move and shake your arms ; walk without striking 
 the ground too hard or throwing your feet this way and 
 that. That sort of action also demands these conditions, 
 not to stop to pull up one s stockings in the street, not 
 to walk on the toes, or in a skipping rising as in dancing ; 
 do not stoop, nor bend the head ; do not advance with 
 measured steps; do not strike the heels against each 
 other on entering church, nor leave it bareheaded, unless 
 devotion requires it, as in accompanying the Holy Sacra 
 ment. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY, 115 
 
 54* Play not the Peacock, looking every 
 where about you, to See if you be well Deck t, 
 if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit 
 neatly, and Cloths handsomely. 
 
 Chapter vi. 2. Ne vous amusez pas a vous quarer 
 comme vn Paon, & regarder superbement autour de 
 vous, si vous estes bien mis, & bien chausse*, si vos hauts- 
 dechausses & vos autres habits vous sont bienfaits. Ne 
 sortez point de vostre chabre, portant vostre plume a 
 vostre bouche, ou sur vostre aureille. Ne vous amusez 
 pas a mettre des fleurs a vos aureilles, & vostre bonnet, 
 ou a vostre chappeau. Ne tenez point vostre mouchoir 
 a la main, ou pendu a vostre bouche, ny & vostre ceinture, 
 ny sous vostre aiselle, ny sur vostre espaule, ou cache" 
 sous vostre robbe. Mettez-le en lieu d ou il ne puisse 
 tre veu, & il puisse estre toutesfois comoddment tire", 
 dez qu il en sera besoin. Ne le presentez iamais & per- 
 sonne, s il n est tout blanc, ou presque pas deploye*. 
 
 Do not delight in strutting like a peacock, or look 
 proudly around to see if you are well decked, if your 
 breeches and other clothes fit well. Do not leave your 
 room carrying your pen in your mouth or behind your 
 ear. Do not indulge yourself by putting flowers in your 
 ears, cap, or hat. Do not hold your pocket-handkerchief 
 in your hand, hanging from your mouth, at your girdle, 
 
ii6 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 under your armpit, on your shoulder, or stuffed under 
 your coat. Put it in some place where it cannot be 
 seen, but from whence you may easily draw it when 
 you want it. Never offer it to anybody unless it be 
 quite clean, or hardly unfolded. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 117 
 
 55^ Eat not in the Streets, nor in y? House, 
 out of Season. 
 
 Chapter vi. 3. Ne marchez jamais par les chemins, en 
 mangeant, soit seul ou en compagnie. & particuliere- 
 ment parmy la foule de la ville. Ne vous mettez pas 
 mesme a manger en la maison hors de temps du repas, 
 & du moins abstenez vous en, quand il s y rencontrera 
 quelqu vn. 
 
 Never walk on the roads eating, whether alone or in 
 company, especially amid the crowd in a town. Do not 
 set to eating even in the house out of meal-times ; at 
 least abstain from it in the presence of others. 
 
u8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 56^ Associate yourself with Men of good 
 Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation ; 
 for tis better to be alone than in bad Company. 
 
 Chapter vi. 5. Et si vous voulez passer pour honneste, 
 accostez vous tousiours des Gents-de-bien, si vous n en 
 trouuez pas la commodity, ou par ce que vous n en con- 
 noissez point, ou pour quelqu autre raison, il vaut tou 
 siours nu eux que vous alliez seul, qu en mauuaise com- 
 pagnie. 
 
 If you wish to pass as genteel, always go with well- 
 bred people ; if you cannot get the chance, from not 
 knowing any, or any other reason, it is always better 
 to go alone than in bad company. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 119 
 
 57* In walking up and Down in a House, 
 only with One in Company if he be Greater 
 than yourself, at the first give him the Right 
 hand and Stop not till he does and be not the 
 first that turns, and when you do turn let it be 
 with your face towards him, it he be a Man of 
 Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Jowl 
 but Somewhat behind him ; but yet in such a 
 Manner that he may easily Speak to you. 
 
 Chapter vi. 7. Si vous promenez auec vne personne 
 seule dans la maison, & qu il soit d vne conditio qui luy 
 fasse meriter quelque deference, des ^ ^^ of 
 le premier pas de la promenade, ne the feminine -Eiie" 
 
 refers to vne per- 
 
 manquez pas de luy donner la droite : sonne/ in the first 
 Ne cessez point de marcher, s il ne line - althou f *; 
 
 masculine ( qu il 
 
 vient & s arrester : Ne changez pas and s ii ) has twice 
 
 followed it. There 
 
 le premier le dmertissement, & en is no allusion to the 
 vous tournant, ne luy montrez iamais female sex in the 
 
 French Maxims. 
 
 les e"paules ; mais tousiours le visage. 
 Si elle est dans vne charge releue"e, gardez bien de 
 marcher d vn pas tout a fait e"gal ; mais suiuez tant soit 
 peu derriere, auec tant de iustesse pourtant & de mode- 
 ratio, qu elle vous puisse bien parler sans s incomoder. 
 Si elle vous est e^e allez d un mesme pas tout le long 
 de la promenade, & ne tournez pas tovsiours le premier, 
 a chaque bout de champ ; ne faites pas si souuent des 
 
120 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 pauses au milieu du chemin sans suiet. Car cette liberty 
 ressent sa grandeur & donne du me contentement. Celuy 
 qui tient le milieu dans vne compagnie dont il est enui- 
 ronne , si ceux qui la composent, sont e"gaux, ou presque 
 dgaux, il se doit tourner vne fois a droit dans la prome 
 nade, & s ils se rencontrent notablement inegaux, il se 
 doit plus souuent tourner vers le plus qualifie . Enfin 
 que ceux qui 1 enuironnent, viennent tousiours a se 
 de tourner de son coste" & en mesme ternps que luy, 
 non point deuant ny apres ; puis qu il est comme le 
 but de la promenade. 
 
 If you are walking about the house alone with a per 
 son whose rank demands some deference, at the very 
 first step be sure and give him the right hand : Do not 
 stop walking if he does not wish to stop : Be not the 
 first to change the diversion, and, in turning, never 
 show him your shoulder but always your face. If he 
 has a high public appointment take care not to walk 
 quite side by side with him but a very little behind him 
 with so much exactness and moderation that he may 
 be able to speak to you without inconvenience. If he 
 is your equal in rank, keep step with him during the 
 whole walk, and do not always turn first at every end 
 of the walk. Do not stop often midway without reason, 
 such liberty touches his dignity and gives dissatisfaction. 
 He who is the centre of the company by whom he is sur 
 rounded ought, if those of whom it consists are equal or 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 121 
 
 nearly equal in rank, always to turn to the right once 
 during the walk, and if they are manifestly unequal, he 
 should oftenest turn towards the most distinguished. 
 Lastly those who are about him should always turn 
 round towards his side and at the same time as he, 
 neither before nor after, as he is, so to say, the object 
 of the walk. 
 
122 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 58* Let your Conversation be without 
 Malice or Envy, for tis a Sign of a Tractable 
 and Commendable Nature : & in all Causes of 
 Passion admit Reason to Govern 
 
 Hawlcins v. 9. Let thy conversation be without 
 malice or envye, for that is a signe of a tractable and 
 commendable nature. And in all causes of passion, 
 admit reason for thy governesse. So shall thy Repu 
 tation be either altogether inviolable, or at the least 
 not stayned with common Tinctures. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 123 
 
 59^ Never express anything unbecoming, 
 nor Act ag 1 .* y? Rules Moral before your in 
 feriors 
 
 Hawkins v. 10. Never expresse any thing unbeseem 
 ing, nor act against the Rules morall, walker : A man 
 before thy inferiors, For in these ^^^ 
 
 things, thy own guilt will multiply Inferiors, nor make 
 
 his Servants privy 
 
 Crimes by example, and as it were, to his infirmities 
 confirme 111 by authority. and failures 
 
134 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 60* Be not immodest in urging your Friends 
 to Discover a Secret. 
 
 Hawkins v. n. Be not immodest in urging thy 
 friend to discover his secrets ; lest an accidentall dis 
 covery of them work a breach in your amitye. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 125 
 
 6 1? 1 Utter not base and frivilous things 
 amongst grave and Learn d Men nor very 
 Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the 
 Ignorant or things hard to be Hawkins U8es the 
 
 word Farce in- 
 
 believed, Stuff not your Dis- stead of -stuff. 1 
 course with Sentences amongst your Betters 
 nor Equals 
 
 Chapter vii, I. Dans la conuersation de Gents doctes 
 & habiles ne debitez pas des bagatelles, & n auancez pas 
 des discours trop releuez parmy les ignorants, qu ils ne 
 soient point capables d entendre, ou qu ils ne puissent 
 pas croire fort facilement. Ne debutez pas toujours par 
 des prouerbes, particulierement parmy vos dgaux, & 
 bien moins auec vos superieurs. Ne parlez point de 
 choses a cotreteps, ou qui puissent choquer les esprits 
 de vos Auditeurs. Parmy les banquets, & dans les iours 
 de resioiiissance ne mettez point sur le tapis de tristes 
 nouuelles, point de recits de rudes calamitez, point 
 d ordures, point de deshonestetez, point d afflictions. 
 Bien au cotraire si tels discours se trouuent entamez par 
 quelqu autre, faites vostre possible pour en de"tourner 
 ndroictement la suitte. Ne contez iamais vos songes 
 qu a de vos confidents, encore que ce soit pour profiler 
 de leur interpretation ; vous gardant bien d y donner 
 aucune crovance. 
 
126 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 When talking with learned and clever men, do not 
 introduce trifles, and do not bring forward too advanced 
 conversation before ignorant people which they cannot 
 understand nor easily believe. Do not always begin with 
 proverbs, especially among your equals, and still less 
 with your superiors. Do not speak of things out of 
 place, or of such as may shock your hearers. At banquets 
 and on days of rejoicing do not bring up sorrowful news 
 or accounts of sad calamities, no filth, nothing improper, 
 nothing afflicting. On the contrary, if such conversation 
 Walker says nor j s begun by any one else, do your 
 
 tell your dreams 
 
 when perhaps your best adroitly tO tUHl the Subject. 
 
 JfSrS N relate *> d ** < 
 
 reciting. your confidants, and then only to 
 
 profit by their interpretation, taking care not to put the 
 least belief in it. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 127 
 
 62? Speak not of doleful Things in a Time 
 of Mirth or at the Table ; Speak not of Melan 
 choly Things as Death and Wounds, and if 
 others Mention them Change if you can the 
 Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your 
 intimate Friend 
 
 ( The substance of Rule 62 is in the French Maxim 
 quoted under the previous Rule (61), beginning with the 
 third sentence, Ne parlez point, etc, } 
 
128 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 63? A Man ought not to value himself of his 
 Atchievements or rare Qualities, his Riches, 
 Titjles Virtue or Kindred[; but he need not 
 speak meanly of himself.] 
 
 Chapter vii. 2. Vne personne bien nourrie ne s amuse 
 iamais a faire parade de Ses belles actions, de son esprit, 
 de sa vertu, & de ses autres bonnes & loiiables qualitez, 
 au cStraire il ne faut iamais s entretenir auec les autres 
 de sa haute naissance, ou de la Noblesse de ses parents, 
 de ses richesses, ny de ses grandeurs, si Ton n y est con- 
 trainct. II ne faut pas aussi se raualler entierement. 
 
 A well-bred person never makes parade of his good 
 actions, wit, virtue, and other good and praiseworthy 
 qualities ; on the contrary, one ought never to speak with 
 another about his high birth, the nobility of his parents, 
 his wealth or dignities, unless obliged to do so. But 
 one need not efface himself altogether. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 129 
 
 64 1 ! 1 Break not a Jest where none take 
 pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all 
 without Occasion, deride no man s Misfortune, 
 tho there seem to be Some cause 
 
 Chapter vii. 3. II ne faut pas se mettre sur la raillerie, 
 quad il n est point temps de solastrer. Gardez-vous bien 
 d e clater en rise"es, d y passer les bornes de la bien- 
 seance, & de le faire sans un suiet raisonnable, pour 
 suiure 1 inclinatio qui vous porte a rire. Ne prenez 
 iamais suiet de rire du malheur d autruy, quoy qu il 
 semble en quelque facon digne de rise e. 
 
 Jesting must be avoided when it is out of season. 
 Beware of. bursting out into laughter, beyond the 
 limits of decorum, and of doing so without reasonable 
 cause, merely from an inclination to laugh. Never 
 laugh at the misfortunes of others, although they seem 
 in some sort laughable. 
 
130 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 65^ Speak not injurious Words neither in 
 Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they 
 give Occasion 
 
 Chapter vii. 4. Ne donnez iamais de sobriquet, soil 
 dans le jeu, ou bien hors du jeu. Gardez vous bien de 
 picquer qui que ce puisse estre ; ne vous mocquez 
 d aucune personne, particulierement d entre celles qui 
 sont qualifiers, quoy qu auec occasion. 
 
 Never give nicknames, whether in fun or not. Take 
 care not to hurt anybody, whoever it may be ; do not 
 mock any one, especially persons of distinction, although 
 there be occasion. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 131 
 
 66 th Be not forward but friendly and Courte 
 ous ; the first to Salute hear and answer be 
 not Pensive when it s a time to converse. 
 
 Chapter vii. 5. Ne vous rendez point morne & de 
 facheux abord ; mais affable & prompt a rendre de bons 
 offices, & soyez toujours le premier a salue r. Entendez 
 bien ce que Ton vous dit & y respondez ; Ne vous retirez 
 point & I dcart, quand le deuoir vous engage a la con- 
 uersation. 
 
 Do not be glum and unfriendly of approach ; "but 
 affable, prompt in rendering kind offices, and always the 
 first to salute. Listen carefully to what is said and 
 respond ; do not keep aloof when duty requires you to 
 take a share in the conversation. 
 
132 RULES OF CIVILITY, 
 
 67* Detract not from others neither be ex 
 cessive in Commending. 
 
 Chapter vii. 6. Gardez vous bien de medire d aucune 
 personne ou de vous entretenir des affaires d autruy. Et 
 mesme souuenez vous de garder la moderation dans vos 
 loiianges. 
 
 Take cafe not to speak ill of any one or to gossip of 
 other people s affairs. At the same 
 
 Walker says: Carry 
 
 even between aduia> time do not forget moderation in your 
 
 tionandsourehess. 
 
 praises. 
 
 (Dr. Toner thinks the last word of Rule 67 is written 
 Commanding. Sparks has commending. ) 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 133 
 
 68 1 ! 1 Go not thither, where you know not, 
 whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give 
 not Advice whth being Ask d & when desired 
 do it briefly 
 
 Chapter vii. 7. Ne vous ingerez pas dans les entre- 
 tiens & les consultations, ou vous ne serez pas asseure" 
 d estre le bien venu. Ne dites iamais vostre aduis des 
 affaires que Ton ne vous 1 ait demande", si toutesfois 
 vous n estes le premier en authority, & que ce ne soit 
 point a contre-temps, ou sans apparence de .quelque 
 auantage. Quand vous en estes prie", abregez vostre 
 discours, & prenez de bonne heure le noeud de 1 affaire 
 a demesler. 
 
 Do not force yourself into interviews or consultations 
 at which you are not sure of being welcome. Never 
 give your advice on matters when it has not been asked, 
 unless you happen to be the highest in authority ; and 
 do not let it be done out of place or without prospect 
 of any benefit. When your opinion is requested, be 
 brief, and reach quickly the knot of the matter under 
 discussion. 
 
134 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 69* If two contend together take not the 
 part of either unconstrained, and be not obsti 
 nate in your Opinion, in Things indiferent be 
 of the Major side. 
 
 Chapter vii. 8. Si deux personnes ont quelque chose 
 & decider ensemble, ne prenez le party ny de 1 vn, ny 
 de 1 autre, si quelque grade raison ne vous y oblige. 
 Ne soustenez pas vos sentiments auec vne trop grande 
 obstination. Dans les matieres ou les opinios sont libres, 
 prenez tousiours le party qui est le plus appuye*. 
 
 If two persons have anything to decide between them- 
 
 Walkersays: Thrust SelveS - d not take the P art f either 
 
 not your self to be unless some pressing reason obliges 
 
 Moderator or Um 
 pire in Controversies, you to do so. Do not maintain your 
 tin required. ideas tOQ obst j nat ely. In matters in 
 
 which opinions are free, always take the side which has 
 the most support. . 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 135 
 
 70* Reprehend not the imperfections of 
 others for that belongs to Parents Masters 
 and Superiors. 
 
 Chapter vii. 9. Ne faites pas le censeur & le juge des 
 fautes d autruy, car cela n appartient qu aux maistres, 
 aux peres, & a ceux qui ont quelque superiority. II vous 
 est toutesfois permis de faire paroistre 1 auersion que 
 vous en coceuez. Et vous pouuez bien quelquesfois 
 doner aduis avantageux au defaillants. 
 
 Do not be the censor and judge of other peoples 
 faults, for that only belongs to masters, fathers, and 
 those who have some superiority. But it is nevertheless 
 allowable for you to show an aversion you have con 
 ceived. And at times you may give advantageous ad 
 vice to those who are in the wrong. 
 
136 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 7 1 5* Gaze not at the marks or blemishes of 
 Others and ask not how they came. What 
 you may Speak in Secret to your Friend de 
 liver not before others 
 
 Chapter vii. 10. Ne vous amusez pas a considerer 
 curieusement les defauts ou les taches, quoy que natu- 
 relles, particulierement si elles se rencontrent au visage, 
 & ne vous enquerez pas d ou elles ont precede . Ce que 
 vous diriez bien volontiers en 1 oreille a vn amy, doit 
 estre conserue" sous la clef du silece, lors que vous vous 
 trouuez en cempagnie 
 
 Take no pleasure in examining curiously defects or 
 blemishes, although natural, especially if they be in 
 the face, nor enquire what they proceed from. What 
 you would readily say in the ear of a friend ought to 
 be preserved under the key of silence when you are in 
 society. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 137 
 
 72? Speak not in an unknown Tongue in 
 Company but in your own Language and that 
 as those of Quality do and not as y? Vulgar ; 
 Sublime matters treat Seriously. 
 
 Chapter vii. n. Ne vous seruez iamais en vos dis- 
 cours & n employez vne langue qui ne vous est pas bien 
 cognue & familiere, si ce n est en vne occasio bien pres- 
 sante, pour donner plus clairement a, connoistre vostre 
 pense"e. Parlez tousiours en la vostre maternelle & 
 natale, non pas grossierement, comme la lie du peuple, 
 ou les pauures chambrieres ; mais comme les plus deli- 
 cats & les plus gros Bourgeois, auec erudition & auec 
 elegance. Et prenez a tache d obseruer en vos discours 
 les regies de I honnestete" & de la modestie ; & vous 
 gardez bien de ces contes vn peu trop libres ; ne les 
 faites ny en 1 oreille d vn autre, ny ne les poussez par 
 jeu auec profusio. N employez point de termes has & 
 raualez ou populaires en des matieres hautes & relumes. 
 
 In your conversation never use a language with which 
 you are not thoroughly acquainted and familiar, unless 
 in some very urgent case to render your idea more 
 clearly. Always speak in your native and mother 
 tongue, not coarsely like the dregs of the people, or 
 poor chamber-maids, but like the most refined and 
 well-to-do citizens, with erudition and elegance. And 
 
138 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 in your discourse take care to observe the rules of 
 decorum and modesty, and be sure to avoid rather 
 risky tales ; do not whisper such to another, and do 
 not indulge them too frequently in sport. Do not use 
 low, base or vulgar expressions when treating of serious 
 and sublime subjects. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 139 
 
 73? Think before you Speak pronounce not 
 imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily 
 but orderly and Distinctly 
 
 Chapter vii. 12. Ne vous mettez point a discourir, que 
 vous ne vous y soyez bien prepare", & que vous n ayez 
 bien estudie* vostre suiet. Dans 1 entretien ordinaire, 
 n allez point chercher de periphrases, point de subtilitez, 
 ny de figures. Ne confondez point vos paroles dans les 
 coutumes d vne langue trop brusque & begayante ; mais 
 aussi, ne parlez pas si lentement, & a tant de reprises, 
 que vous donniez de 1 ennuy. 
 
 Do not begin speaking unless you are quite prepared, 
 and have well studied your subject. In ordinary con 
 versation do not seek periphrases, subtleties, or figures 
 of speech. Do not let your words become confused by 
 too abrupt or hesitating a delivery, and do not let your 
 speech be so slow and broken as to become tedious. 
 
140 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 74* When Another Speaks be attentive your 
 Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesi- 
 Hawkins : - if any tate in his Words help him 
 
 drawl forth his -^ , . 
 
 words, help him not nor Prompt him without 
 desired, Interrupt him not, nor 
 Answer him till his Speech be ended 
 
 Chapter vii. 13. Quand quelque autre parle, prenez 
 garde de dormer suiet a ses Auditeurs de s en detourner ; 
 & pour vous, dcoutez-le fauorablement & auec attention, 
 sans destourner les yeux d 1 vn autre coste", ou vous arrester 
 a quelqu autre pens^e. Si quelqu vn a de la peine a 
 tirer ses mots comme par force, ne vous amusez pas a 
 luy en suggerer, pour faire paroistre quelque desir d aider 
 celuy qui parle, si l ne vient a vous en prier, ou que le 
 tout se passe das le particulier, & qu encore cette persone 
 soit de vos plus intimes & familiers amis ; & apres tout 
 ne 1 interrompez point, & ne luy repliquez en aucune 
 maniere, iusques a ce que luy-mesrne ait acheue". 
 
 When another person is speaking, beware of drawing 
 off the attention of his hearers ; and as for yourself, listen 
 to him favourably and attentively, without turning your 
 eyes aside or directing your thoughts elsewhere. If any 
 The later French one ^ nc ^ s difficulty in expressing him- 
 book has: it is se if ^o not amuse yourself by susr- 
 
 not Civil when a 
 
 Person of Quality gesting words to him, so as to show 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 141 
 
 hesitates or stops a desire to assist the speaker, unless 
 
 in his discourse for 
 
 you to strike in, he so requests, or you are quite in 
 though with pre- private and t he person is also one 
 
 tence of helping his 
 
 memory. of your most intimate and familiar 
 
 friends. Above all, do not interrupt him, and in nowise 
 reply to him until he has finished. 
 
142 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 75* In the midst of Discourse ask [not 
 what it is about], but if you Perceive any Stop 
 because of [your arrival, rather request the 
 speaker] to Proceed : If a Person of Quality 
 comes in while your Conversing its handsome 
 to Repeat what was said before 
 
 Chapter vii. 14. Quand vous arriuez sur la moiti de 
 quelque discours, ne vous enquerez pas du suiet de 
 1 entretien ; car cela est trop hardy & ressent Thome 
 d authorite". Suppliez plutost honnestement & courtoise- 
 ment que Ton le poursuiue, si vous voyez qu il se soil in- 
 terropu a vostre arriue e, parquel que sorte de deference. 
 Au contraire s il suruient quelqu vn, lors que vous par- 
 lerez, & particulierement si c est vne personne qualifie e & 
 de merite, il est de la bien-seance de faire vne petite 
 recapitulation de ce qui a este" auance", & de poursuiure 
 la deduction de tout le reste de la matiere. 
 
 If you arrive in the middle of any discussion, do not 
 ask what it is about ; for that is too bold and savours of 
 one in authority. Rather ask, genteelly and courteously, 
 that it may be continued, if you see that the speaker 
 has paused on your arrival, out of civility. On the 
 other hand, if any one comes whilst you are speaking, 
 Hawkins: it is anc j particularly if it be a person of 
 
 seemely to make a 
 
 little Epilogue and quality or of merit, it is in accordance 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY, 143 
 
 briefe collection of with good manners to give a slight 
 
 what thou deliver- 
 
 edst. recapitulation of what has been ad 
 
 vanced, and then carry out the deduction of all the rest 
 of the matter. 
 
144 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 76* While you are talking, Point not with 
 your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse 
 nor Approach too near him to whom you talk 
 especially to his face 
 
 Chapter vi. 17. Ne motrez point au doigt la personne 
 dont vous parlez, & ne vous approchez point trop pre"s 
 de celuy que vous entretenez, non plus que de son vis 
 age, a qui il faut toujours porter quelque reuerence. 
 
 Do not point your finger at the person of whom you 
 are speaking, and do not go too near any one with 
 whom you are conversing, especially not near his face, 
 which should always be held in some reverence. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 145 
 
 77 1 ! 1 Treat with men at fit Times about Busi 
 ness & Whisper not in the Company of Others 
 
 Chapter vi. 18. Si vous auez vne affaire particuliere 
 k communiquer a 1 vne de deux personnes ou de plu- 
 sieurs qui s entretiennent ensemble, expediez en trois 
 mots, & ne luy dites pas en 1 oreille ce que vous auez a 
 proposer ; mais si la chose est secrette, tirez-la tant soil 
 peu a 1 e cart, s il vous est possible, & que rien ne vous 
 en empesche ; parlez luy en la langue que les assistants 
 entendent. 
 
 If you have any particular matter to communicate 
 to one of two persons or of several, who are talking 
 together, finish it off in three words, and do not whisper 
 in his ear what you have to say ; if the matter be secret, 
 take him aside a little, if possible, and nothing prevents ; 
 speak to him in the language which those present under 
 stand. 
 
146 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 78* Make no Comparisons and if any of 
 the Company be Commended for any brave 
 act of Virtue, commend not another for the 
 Same 
 
 Chapter vii. 21. Abstenez vous de faire des com- 
 paraisons des personnes 1 vne auec 1 autre ; Et partant 
 si Ton donne des loiianges & quelqu vn pour vne bone 
 action, ou pour sa vertu, gardez vous bien de loiier la 
 mesme vertu en quelque autre. Car toute comparaison 
 se trouue odieuse. 
 
 Abstain from drawing comparisons between different 
 persons ; and if any one is praised for a good action, or 
 for his virtue, do not praise another for the same. For 
 all comparisons are odious. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 147 
 
 79^ Be not apt to relate News if you know 
 not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things 
 you Have heard Name not your Author always 
 A Secret Discover not 
 
 Chapter vii. 22. Ne faites pas aise*ment dessein de 
 redire aux autres les nouuelles & les rapports qui aurot 
 couru touchant les rencontres des affaires, si vous n auez 
 vn garant de leur verite". Et ne vous amusez pas en 
 racontant ces vau-de-villes, d en citer 1 Autheur, que 
 vous ne soyez bien asseure" qu il ne le trouuera pas 
 mauuais. Gardez tousiours bien le secret qui vous a 
 este* confie* & ne le ditez a personne, de crainte qu il ne 
 soit diuulgue". 
 
 Be not apt to relate rumours of events, if you know 
 not their truth. And in repeating The later French 
 such things do not mention your book says / Dis 
 
 cover not the secret 
 
 authority, unless you are sure he of a friend, it ar- 
 
 will like it. Always keep the secret Stost 
 
 confided to you; tell it to no one, a weakness. 
 lest it be divulged. 
 
148 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 So 1 ! 1 Be not Tedious in Discourse or in 
 reading unless you find the Company pleased 
 therewith 
 
 Chapter vii. 23. Si vous racontez, ou lisez, ou entre- 
 prenez d en prouuer par raisonnements quoy que ce soit, 
 tranchez-le-court, & particulieremet quad le suiet en est 
 peu importat, ou quand vous reconoissez les ddgousts 
 qu en ont les Auditeurs. 
 
 If you are relating or reading anything, or arguing 
 any point, be brief, particularly when the subject is of 
 small importance, or if you detect weariness in the 
 listeners. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 149 
 
 Si 5 ? Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of 
 Others neither approach to those that Speak 
 in Private 
 
 Chapter vii. 24. Ne tdmoignez pas de curiosity dans 
 les affaires d autruy, & ne vous approchez de 1& ou Ton 
 parle en secret. 
 
 Do not show any curiosity about other people s affairs, 
 and do not go near the place where persons are talking 
 in private. 
 
150 RULES OF CIVILITY, 
 
 82? Undertake not what you cannot Perform 
 but be Carefull to keep your Promise 
 
 Chapter vii. 25. Ne vous chargez point d vne chose 
 dont vous ne vous pouuez acquiter ; maintenez ce que 
 vous auez promis. 
 
 Do not undertake anything that you cannot perform ; 
 keep your promise. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY 151 
 
 83*? When you deliver a matter do it without 
 Passion with Discretion, however mean y? 
 Person be you do it too 
 
 Chapter vii. 27. Quand vous faites vne ambassade, vn 
 rapport, ou donnez 1 ouuerture de quelque affaire, tas- 
 chez de le faire sans passion & auec discretion, soit que 
 vous ayez a traitter auec personnes de peu, ou personnes 
 de qualite". 
 
 When you fulfil a mission, deliver a report, or under 
 take the opening of any matter, try to do it dispassion 
 ately and discreetly, whether those with whom you have 
 to treat be of humble or high position. 
 
152 RULES OF CIVILITY 
 
 84* When your Superiours talk to any Body 
 hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh 
 
 Chapter vii. 27. Quand ceux qui ont sur vous com- 
 mandement, parlent a quelqu vn, gardez vous bien de 
 parler, de rire, ou de les escouter. 
 
 When your Superiors talk to any one, do not speak, 
 laugh, or listen. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 153 
 
 85^ In Company of these of Higher Quality 
 than yourself Speak not till you are ask d a 
 Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & 
 Answer in few words 
 
 Chapter vii. 30. Estant auec de plus grands que vous, 
 principalement s ils ont du pouuoir sur vous, ne parlez 
 pas deuant que d estre interroge", & alors leuez-vous 
 debout, de"couurez-vous, & re"pondez en peu de mots, si 
 toutesfois Ton ne vous donne conge" de vous asseoir, ou 
 de vous tenir couuert. 
 
 Being with persons of higher position than yourself, 
 and especially if they have authority over you, do not 
 speak until you are interrogated ; then rise, remove your 
 hat, and answer in few words, unless indeed you are 
 invited to remain seated, or to keep your hat on. 
 
154 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 86* In Disputes, be not so Desirous to Over 
 come as not to give Liberty to each one to 
 deliver his Opinion and Submit to y e . Judgment 
 of y? Major Part especially if they are Judges of 
 the Dispute. 
 
 Chapter vii. 31. Dans les disputes qui arriuent, princi- 
 palement en conuersation, ne soyez pas si desireux de 
 gagner, que vous ne laissiez dire a chacun son aduis, & 
 soil que vous ayez tort, ou raison, vous deuez acquiescer 
 au jugement du plus grand nombre, ou mesme des plus 
 fascheux, & beaucoup plus de ceux de qui vous de"- 
 pendez, ou qui sont juges de la dispute. 
 
 In disputes that arise, especially in conversation, be 
 not so desirous to overcome as not to leave each one 
 liberty to deliver his opinion ; and whether you be wrong 
 or right you should acquiesce in the judgment of the 
 majority, or even of the most persistent, all the more 
 if they are your masters or patrons, or judges of the 
 discussion. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 155 
 
 87* [Let your bearing be such] as becomes 
 a Man Grave Settled and attentive [to what 
 is said, without being too serious. Contrajdict 
 not at every turn what others Say 
 
 Chapter vii. 35. Vostre maintien soit d homme 
 modere"ment graue, pose", & attentif a ce qui se dit, afin 
 de n auoir pas a dire a tout propos : Comment ditez- 
 vous ? comment se passe cela ? je ne vous ay pas entendu, 
 & d autres semblables niaiseries. 
 
 33. Ne contredictes pas a tout bout de champ, a ce 
 que disent les autres, en contestant & disant : II n est pas 
 ainsi, la chose est comme je la dy ; mais rapportez-vous 
 en a 1 opinion des autres principalement dans les choses 
 qui sont de peu de consequence. 
 
 35. Let your bearing be that of a moderately grave, 
 serious man, and attentive to what is said so as to avoid 
 having to say every moment : How did that happen ? 
 I did not understand you, and other similar foolish 
 remarks. 
 
 33. Do not continually contradict \vhat others say, by 
 disputing and saying : That is not the case, it is as I 
 say; 1 but defer to the opinion of others, especially in 
 matters of small consequence. 
 
156 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 88*! 1 Be not tedious in Discourse, make not 
 many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same 
 manner of Discourse 
 
 Chapter vii. 39. N employez pas vn an a vostre preface, 
 & en certaines longues excuses ou ceremonies, en disant, 
 Monsieur : excusez-moy ! si ie ne Sfay fas si bien dire, 
 &c. , toutesfois pour vous obeyr, &c. , & autres semblables 
 ennuyeuses and sottes trainees de paroles ; mais entrez 
 promptement en matiere tant que faire se pourra auec 
 vne hardiesse modere*e : Et puis poursuiuez, sans vous 
 troubler, iusques a la fin. Ne soyez pas long ; sans 
 beaucoup de digressions, ne reiiterez pas souuent vne 
 mesme fapon de dire. 
 
 Do not take a year in your preface, or in certain long 
 apologies or ceremonies, such as : Pardon me Sir if 
 I do not know how to express myself sufficiently well, 
 c. ; nevertheless in order to obey you, &c., and other 
 similarly tedious and stupid circumlocutions ; but enter 
 promptly on the subject, as far as possible, with moderate 
 boldness; then continue to the end without hesitation. 
 Do not be prolix ; avoid digressions ; do not often 
 reiterate the same expression. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 157 
 
 Sg 1 ! 1 Speak not Evil of the absent for it is 
 unjust 
 
 Hawkins vi. 40. Speak not evill of one absent, for 
 it is unjust to detract from the worth of any, or besmeare 
 a good name by condemning, where the party is not 
 present, to clear himselfe, or undergo a rational! con 
 viction. 
 
158 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 90^ Being Set at meat Scratch not neither 
 Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there s a 
 Necessity for it 
 
 Chapter viii. 2. Estant assis a table, ne vous grattez 
 point, & vous gardez tant que vous pourrez, de cracher, 
 de tousser, de vous moucher : que s il y a necessity, faites- 
 le adroitement, sans beaucoup de bruit, en tournant le 
 visage de coste". 
 
 Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and 
 if you can help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose ; 
 should either be necessary do it adroitly, with least noise, 
 turning the face aside. 
 
 (In the Washington MS. there is a notable omission 
 of all that is said in the French and English books con 
 cerning grace before meat. At Washington s table grace 
 was never said. ) 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 159 
 
 9i s 5 Make no Shew of taking great Delight 
 in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness ; cut 
 your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table 
 neither find fault with what you Eat 
 
 Chapter viii. 3. Ne prenez pas vostre repas en gour 
 mand. 
 
 4. Ne rompez point le pain auec les mains, mais auec 
 le cousteau, si ce n estoit vn pain fort petil & tout frais, 
 & que tous les autres fissent de mesme, ou la pluspart. 
 
 5. Ne vous iettez pas sur table, & bras estendus iusques 
 aux coudes, & ne vous accostez pas indecemment les 
 dpaules ou les bras sur vostre siege. 
 
 8. Ne monstrez nullement d avoir pris plaisir a la 
 viande, ou au vin ; mais si celuy que vous traittez, vous 
 en demande vostre goust, vous pourrez luy respondre 
 avec modestie & prudence : beaucoup moins faut il 
 blasmer les viandes, ou en demander d autres, ny 
 cauantage. 
 
 3. Eat not like a glutton. (4.) Do not break the bread 
 with your hands, but with a knife ; unless, indeed, it is 
 a small and quite fresh roll, and where the others pre 
 sent, or most of them, use their hands. (5.) Do not 
 throw yourself on the table, as far as the elbows, nor 
 unbecomingly rest shoulders or arms on your chair. 
 (8.) Do not make a show of taking delight in your food, 
 
160 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 or in the wine ; but if your host inquires your preference 
 you should answer with modesty and tact : whatever 
 you do, do not complain of the dishes, ask for others, 
 or anything of that sort. 
 
 (At Washington s table it was a custom to invite each 
 guest to call for the wine he preferred.} 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 161 
 
 92? Take no Salt or cut Bread with your 
 Knife Greasy. 
 
 Chapter viii. 9. Prenant du sel, gardez que le cous- 
 teau ne soit gras : quand il le faut nettoyer, ou la four- 
 chette on le peut faire honnestement auec vn pen de 
 pain, ou comme il se pratique en certains lieux, auec la 
 serviette, mais iamais sur le pain entier. 
 
 In taking salt be careful that the knife is not greasy : 
 when necessary your knife or fork may with propriety 
 be cleaned on a piece of bread, or, as is done in some 
 places, with the napkin, but it must never be wiped 
 on the whole loaf. 
 
162 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 93"? Entertaining any one at table it is 
 decent to present him w! meat, Undertake not 
 to help others undesired by yf Master 
 
 Chapter viii. 10. Traittant quelqu vn, il est de la 
 bien-seance de le seruir en table, & luy presenter des 
 viandes, voire mesme de celles qui sont proches de luy. 
 Que si Ton estoit invite" chez autruy, il est plus a propos 
 d attendre que le Maistre ou vn autre seme, que de 
 prendre des viandes soy-mesme, si ce n estoit que le 
 Maistre priast les conuiez de prendre librement, ou que 
 1 on fust en maison familiere. L on se doit aussi peu 
 ingerer a seruir les autres hors de sa maison, ou Ton 
 avoir peu de pouuoir, n dtoit que le nombre des conuiez 
 fust grand, & que le Maistre de la maison ne peust pas 
 avoir 1 oeil sur tout ; Et pour lors Ton pent seruir ceux 
 qui sont proches de soy. 
 
 When entertaining any one it is polite to serve him at 
 table and to present the dishes to him, even such as are 
 near him. When invited by another it is more seemly 
 to wait to be served by the host, or some one else, than 
 to take the dishes oneself, unless the host begs the 
 guests to help themselves freely, or one is at home in 
 the house. One ought also not to be officious in help 
 ing others when out of one s own house, where one has 
 but little authority, unless the guests are very numerous 
 and the host cannot attend to everything; in that case 
 we may help those neaiest us. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 163 
 
 [9]4*? If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it 
 be no more than what you put in your Mouth 
 at a time and blow not your broth at Table 
 but Stay till Cools of it Self 
 
 Chapter viii. 14. Si vous trempez en la saulce le 
 pain ou la chair, ne les trempez pas derechef, apres y 
 auoir mordu, trempez-y a chaque fois vn morceau medi 
 ocre, qui se puisse manger tout d vne bouche e. 
 
 IT. Ne soufflez point sur les viandes ; mais si elles 
 sont chaudes, attendez qu elles se refroidissent : le potage 
 se pourra refroidir, le remuant modestement auec la cuil- 
 liere, mais il ne sied pas bien de humer son potage en 
 table, il le faut prendre auec la cuilliere. 
 
 If you dip bread or meat into the gravy, do not do 
 so immediately after biting a piece off, but dip each 
 time a moderately-sized morsel which can be eaten at 
 one mouthful, (n.) Do not blow on the viands, but 
 if they are hot, wait till they cool. Soup may be cooled 
 by stirring it gently with a spoon, but it is not becom 
 ing to drink up the soup at table. It should be taken 
 with a spoon. 
 
1 64 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 95 1 ! 1 Put not your meat to your Mouth with 
 your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the 
 Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor cast 
 anything under the table 
 
 Chapter viii. 17. Ne portez pas le morceau a la 
 bouche, tenant le cousteau en la main, a la mode des 
 villageois. 
 
 16. Aussi ne semble-il bien seant de cracher les 
 noyaux de prunes, cerises, ou autre chose semblable sur 
 le plat ; mais premierement on doit les recueiller decem- 
 ment, comme il a este" dit, en la main gauche, 1 appro- 
 chant & la bouche, & puis les mettre sur le bord de 
 1 assiette. 
 
 15. L on ne doit point jetter sous la table, ou par 
 Maxim 15 is much terre, les os, les decrees, le vin ou 
 autre chose semblable. 
 
 Do not carry a morsel to your mouth, knife in hand, 
 like the rustics. (16.) Moreover, it does not seem well 
 bred to spit out the kernels of prunes, cherries, or any 
 thing of the kind, on your plate, but, as already said, 
 they should be decently colleeted in the left hand (raised 
 to the mouth), and placed on the edge of the plate. 
 (15.) Bones, peel, wine, and the like, should not be 
 thrown under the table. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 165 
 
 96^ Its unbecoming to Stoop much to one s 
 Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul 
 wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin 
 
 Chapter viii. 21. II est messeant de se baisser beau- 
 coup sur son escuelle ou sur la viande, c est assez de 
 s encliner vn peu lors que Ton porte le morceau trempe" a 
 la bouche, de crainte de se salir, & puis redresser la teste. 
 
 25. Ne vous nettoyez pas les mains & vostre pain, 
 s il est entier ; toutesfois les ayant fort grasses, il semble 
 que vous les puissiez nettoyer premierement a vn mor 
 ceau de pain que vous ayez a manger tout a 1 heure & 
 puis & la seruiette, afin de ne la point tant salir : ce qui 
 vous arriuera rarement, si vous scauez vous seruir de la 
 cuilliere, & de la fourchette, selon le style des plus hon- 
 nestes. Beaucoup moms deuez vous leicher les doigts, 
 principalement les suc9ant auec grand bruit. 
 
 It is ill-bred to stoop too close to one s porringer or 
 the meat. It suffices to bend a little when conveying 
 a soaked morsel to one s mouth, in order to avoid soil 
 ing oneself, then straighten up again. (25.) Do not 
 clean your hands on a loaf; if very greasy you might, 
 it would seem, partly clean them on a bit of bread you 
 are about to eat, then on your napkin, so as not to soil 
 the latter too much : this will rarely happen if you know 
 how to use spoon and fork in the most approved 
 manner. Much less should you lick your fingers, espe 
 cially not suck them noisily. 
 
1 66 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 [9]?^ Put not another bit into your Mouth 
 till the former be Swallowed let not your 
 Morsels be too big for the jowls 
 
 Chapter viii. 30. Ne portez pas le morceau a la 
 bouche que 1 autre ne soit aualle*, & que tous soient tels 
 qu ils ne fassent pas enfler les joues hors de mesure ; 
 ne vous seruez pas des deux mains pour vous mettre 
 le morceau a la bouche, mais seruez vous d ordinaire 
 de la droite. 
 
 Carry not another morsel to the mouth till the other 
 be swallowed, and let each be such as will not stretch 
 the jaws beyond measure ; do not take both hands to 
 raise a morsel to the mouth, but, usually, serve yourself 
 with the right hand. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 167 
 
 98* Drink not nor talk with your mouth 
 full neither Gaze about you while you are a 
 Drinking 
 
 Chapter viii. 32. Ne boiuez ayant le morceau en la 
 bouche, ne demandez point & boire, ne parlez, ne vous 
 versez point & boire, & ne boiuez cependant que vostre 
 voisin boit, ou celuy qui est au haut bout. 
 
 33. En boiuant, ne regardez point 90. & la. 
 
 Do not drink with your mouth full of food ; do not 
 ask anything while drinking, nor talk, The later French 
 
 book recommends 
 
 nor turn round ; and do not drink keeping the eyes 
 because vour neighbour does, or the fixed at the bottom 
 
 of the glass while 
 
 head of the table. (33. ) While drink- drinking, 
 ing gaze not here and there. 
 
168 
 
 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 99^ Drink not too leisurely nor yet too 
 hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your 
 Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great 
 a Noise, for its uncivil 
 
 Chapter viii. 34. Ne boiuez point trop lentement ny 
 trop a la haste, ny come en maschant le vin, ny trop 
 souuent ny sans eau, car c est a faire aux yvrognes. 
 Deuant & apres que vous aurez beu, effuyez-vous les 
 levies, & ne respirez pas auec trop grand bruit, ny alors, 
 ny iamais, car c est vne chose bien inciuile. 
 
 Drink neither too slowly nor too hastily, nor as if 
 gulping the wine, nor too frequently, nor without water 
 as drunkards do. Wipe your lips before and after 
 drinking, and do not breathe too loudly then or at any 
 other time, for that is very inelegant. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 169 
 
 Cleanse not your teeth with the Table 
 Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do 
 it let it be done w*. a Pick Tooth 
 
 Chapter viii. 36. Ne vous nettoyez pas les dents 
 auec la nappe, ou la seruiette, ny auec le doigt, la 
 fourchette, ou le cousteau. Ce seroit faire pis de le 
 faire auec les ongles, mais faites-le auec le curedent. 
 Aussi ne semble-il estre bien-seant de se les nettoyer en 
 table, si ce n estoit que les autres le fissent, & que ce 
 fust la coustume des mieux ciuilisez. 
 
 Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, 
 finger, fork, or knife. It were still more objectionable 
 to do so with the nails. Use a toothpick. It also does 
 not appear well-bred to pick them at table, unless others 
 do so, and where such is a custom of the more gentle 
 manly. 
 
1 70 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 ioi s * Rince not your Mouth in the Presence 
 of Others 
 
 Chapter viii. 37. Ne vous rincez point la bouche 
 auec du vin, pour le reietter en presence des autres ; 
 mais sorty que vous serez de table, accoustumez vous a 
 lauer les mains auec les autres. Quant a la bouche, il 
 semble n estre pas & propos de la lauer en presence des 
 gens, & partant quand Ton donne a lauer, mesme en 
 table, Ton doit seulement lauer les mains. 
 
 Do not rinse your mouth with wine, to be rejected 
 in the presence of others ; but, having left the table, 
 accustom yourself to wash your hands with the rest. 
 As to the mouth, it does not appear proper to wash it 
 in company at all, and consequently when an oppor 
 tunity of washing is offered, even at the table, the 
 hands only should be washed. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 102? It is out of use to call upon the Com 
 pany often to Eat nor need you Drink to others 
 every Time you Drink 
 
 Chapter viii. 38. C est chose peu loiiable & presque 
 aujourd huy hors d vsage, d inuiter la compagnie a 
 manger, principalement trop souuent & auec importu- 
 nite", car il semble qu on luy oste" la liberty. Beaucoup 
 moins deuez-vous boire a autruy toutes les fois que vous 
 boiuez : que si 1 on boit a vous, vous pouuez le refuser 
 modestement, remerciant de bonne grace, & confessant 
 de vous rendre ; ou bien essayez vn peu le vin par cour- 
 toisie, principalement auec gens qui sont accoustumez 
 a cela, & prennent le refus a iniure. 
 
 It is not commendable, and now almost out of fashion, 
 to call on the company to eat, especially to invite them 
 too often and urgently, for it appears to take away their 
 freedom. Much less should you drink to others every 
 time you drink : if one drinks to you, it is permissible to 
 decline modestly, thanking him gracefully, and acknow 
 ledging your response ; or you may well sip a little wine 
 for courtesy, especially with people who are accustomed 
 to it, and who are offended by refusal. 
 
172 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 103"? In Company of your Betters be not 
 [longer in eating] than they are lay not your 
 Arm but ar[ise with only a touch on the edge 
 of the table.] 
 
 Chapter viii. 42. Quand les autres ont acheu6 de 
 manger, despechez vous aussi, & ne tenez pas les bras 
 sur la table, mais posez les mains seulement sur le bout. 
 
 When the rest have finished eating, you should do 
 the same quickly ; do not hold your arms on the table, 
 but only place your hands on the edge of it. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 173 
 
 IO4 1 ! 1 It belongs to y? Chiefest in Company 
 to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But 
 he ought to begin in time & to Dispatch with 
 Dexterity that y? Slowest may have time 
 allowed him 
 
 Chapter viii. 45. C est a faire au plus honnorable 
 de la compagnie de ddplier le premier sa seruiette, & 
 toucher aux viandes : & partant les autres doiuent 
 attendre paisiblement sans mettre la main a chose 
 aucune deuant lui. 
 
 46. Et au contraire il doit estre soigneux de com- 
 mencer en son temps, de pouruoir a tout, d entretenir 
 les conuiez, & finir le tout auec telle addresse ; qu il 
 donne temps aux plus tardifs de manger a leur aise, 
 s entretenant, s il est de besoin, a gouster legerement 
 des viandes, ou quand il est loisible de discourir a table ; 
 entremesler auec le manger quelque petit discours, afin 
 que les autres puissent auec loisir d acheuer. 
 
 It is for the most distinguished member of the com 
 pany to unfold first his napkin and touch the food, and 
 the rest should wait quietly, without laying hand on 
 anything before he does. (46.) On the other hand, he 
 ought in due time to commence, to consider everything, 
 entertaining the guest?, and managing all so adroitly 
 
174 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 as to give time to the more dilatory to eat at their 
 leisure ; if necessary for this, slowly tasting the viands, 
 or, when table-talk is permissible, introducing a little 
 chat during the meal, so that the others can finish at 
 their ease. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 17 5 
 
 105* Be not Angry at Table whatever hap 
 pens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it 
 Toner has but 1 not put on a Chcarfull Counte- 
 
 instead of put in . 
 
 this Rule. nance especially if there be 
 
 Strangers for good Humour makes one Dish 
 of Meat a Feast 
 
 Chapter viii. 47. Ne vous fachez iamais en table, 
 quoy qu il aduienne, ou bien si vous vous fachez, n ent 
 faites point de semblant, principalement y ayant des 
 estrangers a table. 
 
 Never be angry at table, no matter what may happen, 
 or even if you have cause for anger, Hawkins vii. 40. A 
 
 cheerefull counte- 
 
 tio not show it, especially if strangers njmce makes one 
 are present. dish a Feast. 
 
176 
 
 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 106^ Set not yourself at y? upper [end] of 
 y? Table but if it be your Due 
 or that y? Master of y? house 
 
 will have it so, Contend not least you Should 
 
 Trouble y? company. 
 
 There is a blank 
 in the MS. after 
 upper. 
 
 Chapter viii. 48. Ne vous asse"ez point de vous 
 mesme au haut-bout ; mais s il vous appartient, ou si 
 le maistre du logis le veut ainsi, ne faites pas tant de 
 resistance pour n y point aller, que vous fachiez toute 
 la compagnie. 
 
 Seat not yourself voluntarily at the top ; but if the 
 place properly belongs to you, or 
 the master of the house so wills, 
 do not offer so much resistance to 
 its acceptance as to annoy the com 
 pany. 
 
 Walker : Desire 
 not the highest 
 place, nor be 
 troublesome with 
 impertinent debas 
 ing yourself by re 
 fusing, etc. 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 177 
 
 lo; 1 ! 1 If others talk at Table be attentive 
 but talk not with Meat in your Mouth 
 
 Chapter viii. 49. Si on lit ou deuise en table, soyez 
 attentif, & s il faut parler, ne parlez point auec le mor- 
 ceau en la bouche. 
 
 If there be reading or chat at table, be attentive, and 
 if you have to speak, do not speak with your mouth full. 
 
i;8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 io8 th When you Speak of God or his Attri 
 butes, let it be Seriously & [with words of] 
 Reverence. Honour & obey your Natural 
 Parents altho they be Poor 
 
 Hawkins vii. 43. Let thy speeches be seriously 
 reverent when thou speakest of God or his Attributes, 
 for to jest or utter thy selfe lightly in matters divine, is 
 an unhappy impiety, provoking heaven to justice, and 
 urging all men to suspect thy beliefe. vii. (unnumbered] 
 Honour and obey thy natural parents although they be 
 poor ; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches 
 and honour, yet thy heavenly Father hath promised 
 thee length of days. 
 
 ( There is nothing in the French Maxims correspond 
 ing to the second sentence of Rule 108. The Maxim 
 nearest to the first sentence is the qth of Chapter i. : " // 
 sefaut bien garder de prononcer aucuns nouueaux mots, 
 quand Ion parle de Dieu ou des Saincts, fr 3 den faire 
 de sots contes, soit tout bon, ou par raillerie" " Avoid 
 irreverent words in speaking of God, or of the Saints, 
 and of telling foolish stories abottt them, either in jest or 
 earnest" Compare also the last sentence of Maxim vii. 
 n, ante, under Rule 72.) 
 
RULES OF CIVILITY. 179 
 
 109 th Let your Recreations be Manfull not 
 Sinful 1. 
 
 Hawkins vii. (unnumbered). Let thy recreations be 
 manful not sinful ; there is a great vanity in the baiting 
 of Beasts, the Bears and Bulls lived quietly enough 
 before the fall ; it was our sin that set them together 
 by the ears, rejoyce not therefore to see them fight, for 
 that would be to glory in thy shame. 
 
i$o RULES OF CIVILITY. 
 
 uo th Labour to keep alive in your Breast 
 that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Con 
 science. 
 
 Hawkins vii. (unnumbered). Labour to keep alive 
 in thy breast, that little sparke of Celestial fire called 
 Conscience, for Conscience to an evil man is a never 
 dying worm, but unto a good man its a perpetual feast. 
 
 Printed bv BAI.LANTYNK, HANSON 
 Edinburgh and London. 
 
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