S. J. 
 
 ALBANY, 
 
INCIDENTS 
 
 AND ANECDOTES 
 
 OF THE 
 
 CIVIL WAR, 
 
 BY 
 
 ADMIRAL PORTER, 
 
 ATTTHOB OF "ALLAN DABB AND BOBEBT LK DIABLK," KTO. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, 
 
 L, 8, AND 5 BOND STBEET. 
 1885. 
 
COPTEIGHT, 1885, 
 
 BY D. APPLETON AND COMPANY. 
 
 All rights reserved. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 I. REJOICINGS IN WASHINGTON AT THE SECESSION OF SOUTH CARO 
 LINA , t .. .... 7 
 
 II. PLAN TO SAVE FORT PICKENS DISLOYALTY IN THE NAVY DE 
 PARTMENT STEALING A MARCH ON THE SECRETARY OF THE 
 NAVY 13 
 
 III. INCIDENTS AT PENSACOLA Two DISTINGUISHED TRAVELERS WHO 
 PROVE TO BE OLD ACQUAINTANCES A MEMORABLE BREAK 
 FAST . 26 
 
 IV. DELAY AT PENSACOLA ATTACK ON FORT MORGAN PENSACOLA 
 ABANDONED A REMARKABLE SPECIMEN OF A SOUTHERN UNION 
 IST . ... 36 
 
 V. THE ATTACK ON NEW ORLEANS SURRENDER OF THE FORTS 
 
 THE IRONCLAD LOUISIANA . . . . . . .47 
 
 VI. ERICSSON AND THE MONITOR AN INTERVIEW WITH THE GREAT 
 
 ENGINEER . . 57 
 
 VII. PLANS FOR THE CAPTURE OF NEW ORLEANS CONDUCT OF THE 
 PEOPLE ON OUR TAKING POSSESSION OF THE CITY GENERAL 
 
 BUTLER S ADMINISTRATION 63 
 
 VIII. ASCENDING THE MISSISSIPPI ODD SPECIMENS OF CONFEDERATES 
 
 A PLANTATION MANSION DOUBTING MOSES .... 82 
 
 IX. PLANS FOR THE CAPTURE OF VICKSBURG UNFORTUNATE DE 
 LAYS THE MORTAR BOATS AT VICKSBURG A SPY AND AN 
 
 ATTEMPTED SURPRISE 95 
 
 X. RETURN DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI PASSING NATCHEZ A ROSE IN 
 
 THE DESERT 104 
 
 XI. ON BOARD THE HARRIET LANE COCKPIT BATTERY STANDING 
 BY THE COUNTRY S FLAG LEE, FIRST LIEUTENANT OF THE 
 HARRIET LANE His SENSE OF DUTY SLAUGHTER ON BOARD 
 
 HAVOC OF REVOLUTIONS 108 
 
 XII. IN WASHINGTON SCENE AT A NEWPORT, R. I., CLUB SLAN 
 DERED BY A WOMAN INDIGNITIES TO GENERAL STONE VISIT 
 TO PRESIDENT LINCOLN MR. SEWARD APPOINTED TO COM 
 MAND THE MISSISSIPPI SQUADRON GENERAL MCCLERNAND . 114 
 
 250854 
 
4 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAOB 
 
 XIII. INTERVIEW WITH GENERAL GRANT AT CAIRO FIRST MEETING 
 WITH GENERAL SHERMAN OUR FLAG HOISTED OVER ARKAN 
 SAS POST GENERAL GRANT AND THE SIEGE OF VICKSBURG 
 HOAX ON THE VlCKSBURGERS . 124 
 
 XIV. GENERAL GRANT S PLANS FOR TAKING VICKSBURG THE YAZOO 
 PASS EXPEDITION NAVAL EVOLUTIONS IN THE WOODS PILES 
 OF COTTON BURNED BY THE CONFEDERATES MR. TUB, THE 
 TELEGRAM-WIRE MAN THE PASS AT ROLLING FORK END OF 
 
 THE STEELE BAYOU EXPEDITION 136 
 
 XV. A COUNCIL OF WAR PASSAGE OF THE FLEET BY THE BAT 
 TERIES OF VICKSBURG GENERAL SHERMAN VISITS THE FLEET 
 IN ITS PASSAGE WOODEN GUNS ON CART-WHEELS A HAND 
 FUL OF CORN AND A DEAD CONFEDERATE SOLDIER . . . 174 
 
 XVI. NAVAL BATTLE AT GRAND GULF THREE COMMISSIONERS FROM 
 WASHINGTON TO EXAMINE INTO THE CONDUCT OF AFFAIRS 
 ONE OF THE COMMISSIONERS IN A "LONG SHIRT" TAR AND 
 FEATHERS LANDING OF THE ARMY AT BRUENSBURG AMUS 
 ING STORY OF AN IOWA REGIMENT FIRST MEETING WITH 
 GENERAL A. J. SMITH A CONFEDERATE RAM .... 180 
 
 XVII. SIEGE OF VICKSBURG . . . . . . . . . 188 
 
 XVIII. A CHIEF OF STAFF AND A CHIEF COOK DEMOCRATIC MEETING 
 
 IN THE BACKWOODS OF "EGYPT" A JOHN GILPIN RACE . 201 
 
 XIX. SHERMAN STARTS FROM MEMPHIS TO GO TO CHATTANOOGA FINDS 
 A THIRTY-POUND SHOT IN HIS STOMACH THE NAVY RELIEVE 
 HIM BRIDGES AND FERRY-BOATS IN ABUNDANCE REACHES 
 CHATTANOOGA IN TIME . . . . . . . 208 
 
 XX. WHO STARTED THE RED RIVER EXPEDITION ? JAPHET IN SEARCH 
 OF A FATHER GENERAL A. J. SMITH MAKES A FORCED MARCH 
 OF THIRTY-TWO MILES CAPTURES FORT DE RUSSY SECOND 
 CAPTURE OF ALEXANDRIA GENERAL BANKS ARRIVES IN HIS 
 HEADQUARTERS BOAT, BLACK HAWK CHAMPAGNE AND COT 
 TON BAGGING A DERELICT HOSPITAL STEWARD A REVIEW 
 OF " RAGGED GUERRILLAS " A. J. SMITH S SOLDIERS CRITICISE 
 BANKS S ARMY TEARS WON T MAKE SOUP, CHICKEN WILL I 
 HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF ON MY HORSE MRS. HOLMES 
 GIVES THE ADMIRAL A GOOD CHARACTER MRS. HOLMES S 
 STORY ABOUT THE COTTON TRADE THE NAVY BECOMES DE 
 MORALIZED BLOCKED OUT AT SHREVEPORT RIVER GUN-BOATS 
 TURN BACK IN THEIR TRACKS BANKS DEFEATED THE NAVY 
 DEFEATS GENERAL GREEN S ARMY THE GENERAL S HEAD 
 SHOT OFF A HORSE WITH A HEADLESS RIDER SAFE AR 
 RIVAL AT GRAND ECORE BANKS BORN UNDER A LUCKY 
 STAR 212 
 
 XXI. THE ARMY PROPOSE TO MOVE AWAY FROM GRAND ECORE SINK 
 ING OF THE EASTPORT PUMP HER UP EASTPORT BLOWN UP 
 THE CRICKET COMES TO GRIEF GUN-BOAT FLEET CAUGHT 
 IN A DILEMMA PROVIDENCE SUPPLIES THE MAN TO RELIEVE 
 THEM A Row WITH A MILITARY GOVERNOR .... 288 
 
CONTENTS. 5 
 
 CHAPTER PAQB 
 
 XXII. TAKE COMMAND OF NORTH ATLANTIC SQUADRON RENEW AN 
 OLD ACQUAINTANCE A VISIT FROM GENERAL BUTLER THE 
 GENERAL S FLAG-SHIP BLOWN UP SAVE THE GENERAL FROM 
 A DUCKING THE GENERAL VISITS THE MALVERN WITH A 
 PLAN OF POWDER-BOAT TO BLOW UP FORT FISHER AN EN 
 SIGN SETS THE PLAN TO Music AND RHYME A STEAMER AND 
 ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TONS OF POWDER REQUIRED TO 
 DO THE WORK THE ADMIRAL, IN THE EXCITEMENT OF THE 
 MOMENT, TELEGRAPHS FOR FIFTEEN THOUSAND TONS OF POW 
 DER THE CHIEF OF BUREAU OF ORDNANCE OFFERS HIM MOUNT 
 VESUVIUS AND NIAGARA FALLS TO DO THE WORK WITH THE 
 POWDER-BOAT DISTURBS THE SENTINELS AT FORT FISHER 
 FORT FISHER DOES NOT BLOW UP WORTH A CENT A TRAP 
 SET FOR BLOCKADE-RUNNERS AN IRISH TORPEDO-BOAT FALL 
 
 OF WILMINGTON 261 
 
 XXIII. THE PRESIDENT VISITS CITY POINT BECOMES A GUEST ON THE 
 MALVERN ANXIETY TO HAVE THE ARMY MOVE ON THE ENE 
 MY S WORKS Two MIRACLES EVACUATION OF PETERSBURG 
 THREE LITTLE KITTENS PRESIDENT REFUSES TO SEE VICE- 
 PRESIDENT JOHNSON AND PRESTON KING How MUCH WILL 
 You TAKE FOR THAT TRICK \ VISIT TO PETERSBURG THREE 
 CHEERS FOR UNCLE ABE CAN T WE MAKE A NOISE? FOUR 
 CONFEDERATE IRONCLADS BLOWN UP THE PRESIDENT VISITS 
 RICHMOND AN OVATION WORTHY OF AN EMPEROR A NEGRO 
 PATRIARCH ENTRANCE INTO RICHMOND A BOUQUET OF FLOW 
 ERS FROM A PRETTY GIRL PRESIDENT LINCOLN IN PRESIDENT 
 DAVIS S MANSION RETURN ON BOARD THE MALVERN A VISIT 
 
 FROM THE LATE JUSTICE CAMPBELL A VlSIT FROM DUFF 
 
 GREEN COMPLICATIONS RETURN TO CITY POINT A GENERAL 
 
 WHO WENT OFF IN A FlZZLE . . . . . . . 281 
 
 XXIV. GENERAL SHERMAN ARRIVES AT GOLDSBORO SHERMAN CALLS 
 ON THE PRESIDENT COUNCIL ON BOARD THE RIVER QUEEN 
 PRESIDENT LINCOLN S KIND INTENTIONS TOWARD THE CONFED 
 ERATE ARMIES LET THEM HAVE THEIR HORSES TO PLOW 
 
 WITH, AND THEIR MUSKETS TO SHOOT CROWS WITH "THERE 
 
 ARE NO SOUTHERN RAILROADS; MY BUMMERS HAVE TAKEN 
 THEM ALL UP " WHY SUCH A HOWL AT THE NORTH I LEE 
 SURRENDERS THE PRESIDENT RETURNS TO WASHINGTON SEND 
 OFFICERS WITH HIM TO PROTECT HIS PERSON His DEATH 
 THERE LIES THE BEST MAN I EVER KNEW .... 312 
 XXV. CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG . 320 
 
INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES 
 OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 BEJOICINGS IN" WASHINGTON AT THE SECESSION OF SOUTH 
 
 CAKOLIKA. 
 
 the Presidency of James Buchanan, and just previous 
 to the inauguration of Mr. Lincoln, I was ordered to the command 
 of the Coast-Survey steamer Active on the Pacific coast. 
 
 I could not conceive why I was thus ordered, except that ships 
 and officers were at that period being sent out of the way. This, 
 too, at a time when the Southern States were threatening to secede, 
 and it seemed probable the Government would require the services 
 of all its officers to maintain the integrity of the Union. 
 
 At that moment I was in a despondent frame of mind, and 
 troubled with the most gloomy forebodings. I felt that a crisis was 
 impending that might influence all my prospects in life and cast 
 me upon the world without resources and with a large dependent 
 family. 
 
 I sought consolation by visiting the houses of Southern members 
 of Congress in Washington whom I knew, but obtained little satis 
 faction from the sentiments I there heard expressed. 
 
 One night in December, 1860, on my way home from a visit to 
 Congress, where I had listened to a great deal of incendiary lan 
 guage from Southern members and plenty of vituperation from 
 Northern ones, a gentleman met me in the street and informed me 
 of the secession of South Carolina. 
 
 The news, though not unexpected, was startling, and, viewing 
 
8 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the matter in the most philosophical light possible, I proceeded 
 homeward to carry the unpleasant intelligence. 
 
 On my way I had to pass the house of a distinguished Southern 
 gentleman whom I knew well and for whom I entertained a high 
 regard. I had always heard him discuss the questions at issue be 
 tween the North and South in the most dispassionate manner, what 
 ever may have been his course in Congress. 
 
 There were a dozen carriages standing before the door, and the 
 house was all ablaze with lights, making the interior look cheerful 
 enough, while a drizzling rain rendered everything gloomy without. 
 Those were not the days of well-lighted streets and asphalt pave 
 ments. Washington was a city of muddy highways, and corpora 
 tion moonlight was more frequent than convenient. 
 
 As I entered the mansion the lady of the house, in bonnet and 
 shawl, was descending the stairs. She was a magnificent woman, 
 greatly esteemed in Washington society for her genial manner, and 
 admired for her wit and intellect. Had she aspired to do so, this 
 lady might have been the leader of fashion in the Federal capital, 
 but I do not think her ambition ran in that direction. She had a 
 small and select circle of friends, mostly Southern people, and chiefly 
 affected politics. 
 
 Her heart was fixed on what she called the emancipation of the 
 South from Northern thralldom, and with her handsome person and 
 dignified bearing she seemed worthy to occupy the loftiest position. 
 
 As this lady saw me she exclaimed, " Ah, captain" for so she 
 always called me " I am so glad to see you ! I want you to escort 
 me to the White House. The horses are sick, and I am going to 
 walk over." 
 
 "It is impossible for you to walk," I replied, "through the rain 
 and mud ; but there are ten or twelve hacks at the door, and I will 
 press one of them into your service." So saying, I called a carriage, 
 helped the lady in, and got in after her. 
 
 "I was under the impression," I said, as we started, "that you 
 were having a party at your house, seeing it so brilliantly lighted 
 up, and I thought I would venture in uninvited." 
 
 "No, indeed," she replied, "but we have received glorious news 
 from the South, and my husband s friends are calling to congratu 
 late him. South Carolina has seceded, and, captain ! " she con 
 tinued, with increasing fervor, "we will have a glorious monarchy, 
 and you must join us ! " 
 
 "Yes," I said, "and be made Duke of Benedict Arnold." 
 
WASHINGTON BEFORE THE REBELLION. 9 
 
 "Nonsense!" she exclaimed, "but we will make you an ad 
 miral." 
 
 "Certainly," I replied, "Admiral of the Blue, for I should feel 
 blue enough to see everything turned upside down, and our boasted 
 liberty and civilization whistled down the wind." 
 
 "What would you have?" she inquired. "Would you have 
 us tamely submit to all the indignities the North have put upon us, 
 and place our necks under their feet ? Why, this very day my 
 blood fairly boiled while I was in Congress, and I could scarcely 
 
 contain myself. That old Black Republican, Mr. , was berating 
 
 the Southern people as if they were a pack of naughty children. 
 However, I was indemnified in the end, for Mr. Rhett took the 
 floor and gave the man such a castigation that he slunk away and 
 was no more heard from. We can stand these outrages no longer, 
 and will take refuge in a monarchy a glorious monarchy ! " 
 
 "Of course you will be queen," I said. "Well, I should be 
 happy to serve under such a beautiful majesty, but somehow I like 
 this homely republicanism under which I have been brought up, 
 and so I will stick to it ; but don t repeat to others what you have 
 said to me, for it might compromise your husband." 
 
 "Ah," she exclaimed, "he thinks as I do ! " 
 
 Just then we reached the White House. I helped the lady from 
 the carriage and escorted her into the great hall. I proposed to 
 take my leave, but she insisted on my remaining, saying, "I want 
 to tell the President the good news." 
 
 Heavens and earth ! thought I, what will happen next ? "No, 
 thank you," I said, "I will take some other opportunity to see the 
 President," and, taking my leave of the lady, I went out and never 
 saw her afterward. 
 
 I rode back to the house to return the borrowed carriage, and, 
 when I reached the door, heard sounds of merriment issuing from 
 the mansion, and was induced to step into the parlor. 
 
 As I entered I was welcomed with boisterous shouts by a dozen 
 gentlemen, only two of whom I had ever met before. They em 
 braced me, and insisted on my drinking with them, but this I de 
 clined, thinking there had been too much drinking already. 
 
 I can only compare the scene to Pandemonium. 
 
 " The people all acted like the jacks at the Nore, 
 And ran the Palmetto flag up to the fore, 
 "Where all ranted and raved, and their language, O dear! 
 Was so full of billingsgate twas shocking to hear. 
 
10 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Cooney and lawyer, politician and sage, 
 And the craziest men of the palmetto age, 
 
 With defiant looks, 
 
 Full of crotchets and crooks, 
 Were chafing and swearing and scowling so black 
 As hosts sometimes do when the dinner s put back. 
 Yet few of the folks at that chivalric fair 
 Seemed willing to think nor a curse did they care 
 That a sword hung over them just by a hair. 
 Old Clootie was there, and said all was right ; 
 Twas he held the bottle, and urged on the fight, 
 
 And stood up in his place, 
 
 With his stoical face, 
 
 His hands meekly folded, as if he d say grace, 
 While Rebellion was moving at an awful fast pace." 
 
 The only person who seemed to preserve his equanimity was the 
 master of the house, who sat, calm and smiling, conversing with an 
 uproarious friend who had partaken deeply of the flowing bowl. 
 
 When I had an opportunity I asked the host quietly if there was 
 anything in this excitement, and if it could be possible that the 
 Southern States would secede. "What more do they want?" I 
 inquired. " They have a majority in the Senate and in the House, 
 and, with the Supreme Court on their side, they can make laws to 
 suit themselves." 
 
 " Yes," he replied, his bright eye almost looking through me, 
 "most people would be satisfied with that. 
 
 " * Better to suffer from the ills we have, 
 Than fly to others that we wot not of. 
 
 "But you will join us," he continued, " and we will make you 
 an admiral." 
 
 "Thank you," said I, "but I am going to the California gold 
 mines, and when the South and the North have done quarreling, 
 and all you seceders have come back and taken your seats in Con 
 gress, I will join the navy again." 
 
 "You must join us" he said, "for we will have a navy to be 
 proud of." 
 
 A few weeks later my friends left Washington for the South, 
 regretted by all who knew them. Their house had been the ren 
 dezvous of the most brilliant and refined persons at the capital. 
 The clever women of the South met there to discuss the prospects 
 
WASHINGTON BEFORE THE REBELLION. H 
 
 of a Southern confederacy or monarchy, and to urge on their slow- 
 moving husbands in what they considered the path of duty. 
 
 These ladies saw in the distance the gleam of the coronets that 
 were to encircle their fair brows, and certainly none were more fitted, 
 by the graces of mind and person, to wear them than the beautiful 
 Southern women who formed the bright galaxy of stars in Wash 
 ington society. 
 
 As to the lady whom I accompanied to the White House, she 
 shone, like Venus, brighter than all the other planets, and her de 
 parture cast a gloom over the firesides of the friends she left behind 
 in Washington, soon to be overshadowed by the stirring scenes at 
 the outbreak of the civil war the tramp of legions of soldiers 
 through quiet streets where, since the rebuilding of the Capitol, had 
 been heard nothing more stirring than 
 
 " Sounds of revelry by night," 
 
 or the simple pageants which accompanied the President to and 
 from the Capitol at the quadrennial inauguration. 
 
 No wonder the capital and its surroundings seemed stupid to 
 these vivacious Southerners, and that their hearts were not satisfied 
 with our plain republican trappings. 
 
 An opera-house or two, half a dozen fine theatres, and a court, 
 or the semblance of one, at the White House something more in 
 the style of the present day might have prevented the catastrophe 
 which overwhelmed both North and South. 
 
 The Komans understood these things better than we. They 
 omitted nothing to keep the people amused ; they even had the 
 street fountains at times run with wine, and the investment was 
 worth the money spent. 
 
 But what could one expect at a court presided over by an old 
 bachelor whose heart was dead to poetry and love ; who sat at din 
 ner with no flowers to grace the festive board, and never even wore 
 a loutonniere on his coat-lapel ; who eschewed everything like offi 
 cial state, and was content to live out his term of office in plain 
 republican simplicity ? 
 
 What was there to attract charming, women to an administra 
 tion like that of Abraham Lincoln, conducted with even more sim 
 plicity than that of his predecessor, and only to be appreciated by 
 sturdy republicans that despised all the vanities of a court and 
 took no stock in monarchy ? 
 
12 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Barren and dreary as the fair Southerners left the city of "Wash 
 ington to which they intended to return when a Southern court 
 should be established it has since risen from its ashes like a Phoe 
 nix, and blooms as it never did before. 
 
 The angels of heaven smile serenely over the happy meeting 
 of those who did all they could to imbrue their hands in each other s 
 blood, but she who once moved radiant amid the throng is still ab 
 sent from the Federal capital. 
 
 " She was superb at least so she was thirty summers ago 
 As soft and as sallow as autumn, with hair 
 Neither black nor yet brown, but that tint which the air 
 Takes at eve in September, when night lingers lone 
 Through a vineyard, from beams of a slow-setting sun ; 
 Eyes the wistful gazelle s, the fine foot of a fairy, 
 A voice soft and sweet as a tune that one knows. 
 Something in her there was set you to thinking of those 
 Strange backgrounds of Raphael, that hectic and deep 
 Brief twilight in which Southern suns fall asleep. 
 Thou abidest and reignest forever, O Queen 
 Of that better world which thou swayest unseen." 
 
 It is not my intention at this late day to reflect upon the mo 
 tives of those whose acts brought about such desolation. Let them 
 rest in peace, and may the future bring back to us those who once 
 formed the most refined and delightful society at the capital. 
 
 They will find the Federal city improved and beautified, ready to 
 receive them with warm hearts and friendly greetings. The capital 
 will smile as of yore when the bright galaxy of Southern ladies 
 which once illumined its halls again take their places in a society 
 they are so well fitted to adorn. 
 
 And those clever men of the South the successors of the great 
 statesmen who played such a prominent part in oar early history 
 may they realize the task before them of reconstructing their sev 
 eral States and making their people feel that we all belong to one 
 country, which, if united, can be made the grandest in the world. 
 
INTERVIEW WITH MR, SEWARD. 13 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 PLAN TO SAVE FORT PICKENS DISLOYALTY IN THE NAVY DE 
 PARTMENT STEALING A MARCH ON THE SECRETARY OF THE 
 NAVY. 
 
 MR. LINCOLN had been installed in the Presidential office, and 
 the subject of relieving Fort Sumter was under discussion. A 
 small squadron was being fitted out for the supposed purpose of 
 relieving the fort, the final action of which was to be guided by 
 Mr. G. V. Fox, afterward Assistant Secretary of the Navy. 
 
 My orders to California were still hanging over me, and I had 
 even engaged my passage in the steamer from New York, and was 
 taking my last meal with my family, when a carriage drove up to 
 the door. 
 
 It brought a note from the Secretary of State (Mr. Seward), re 
 questing me to call and see him without delay ; so, leaving my din 
 ner unfinished, I jumped into the carriage and drove at once to the 
 Secretary s office. 
 
 I found Mr. Seward lying on his back on a sofa, with his knees 
 up, reading a lengthy document. 
 
 Without changing his position he said to me, " Can you tell me 
 how we can save Fort Pickens from falling into the hands of the 
 rebels?" 
 
 I answered, promptly, "I can, sir." 
 
 " Then," said the Secretary, " you are the man I want, if you 
 can do it." 
 
 " I can do it," I said, as Mr. Seward rose to his feet. 
 
 Those familiar with the history of that period will remember 
 that Lieutenant Slemmer was holding Fort Pickens with a small 
 force and had refused the summons of General Bragg to surrender, 
 and all the naval guns and munitions of war that had fallen into 
 the Confederates hands were being placed in position behind earth 
 works, preparatory to opening on the Union lines. 
 
 It was to save Slemmer and the Union works that made Mr, 
 Seward so interested in this affair. 
 
 "Now, come," said Mr. Seward, "tell me how you will save 
 that place." 
 
 I had talked with Captain (now General) Meigs a few days be- 
 
14 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 fore about this matter. That officer broached the subject to me, 
 and it appears first suggested the matter to Mr. Seward, and the 
 latter, being anxious to show the Southerners that the Government 
 had a right to hold its own forts, and seeing the likelihood of our 
 losing Fort Sumter, listened very kindly to Captain Meigs s sugges 
 tions. 
 
 Our plan was to get a good-sized steamer and six or seven com 
 panies of soldiers, and to carry the latter, with a number of large 
 guns and a quantity of munitions of war, to Fort Pickens, land 
 them on the outside of the fort under the guns of a ship of war, 
 and the fort would soon be made impregnable that was all. 
 
 I repeated this to Mr. Seward, and said to him, " Give me 
 command of the Powhatan, now lying at New York ready for sea, 
 and I will guarantee that everything shall be done without a mis 
 take." 
 
 Mr. Seward listened attentively, and, when I had finished what 
 I had to say, he invited Captain Meigs who had come in in the 
 mean time and myself to accompany him to the President. 
 
 When we arrived at the White House, Mr. Lincoln who 
 seemed to be aware of our errand opened the conversation. 
 
 " Tell me," said he, " how we can prevent Fort Pickens from 
 falling into the hands of the rebels, for if Slemmer is not at once 
 relieved there will be no holding it. Pensacola would be a very 
 important place for the Southerners, and if they once get posses 
 sion of Pickens, and fortify it, we have no navy to take it from 
 them." 
 
 " Mr. President," said I, " there is a queer state of things ex 
 isting in the Navy Department at this time. Mr. Welles is sur 
 rounded by officers and clerks, some of whom are disloyal at heart, 
 and if the orders for this expedition should emanate from the 
 Secretary of the Navy, and pass through all the department red 
 tape, the news would be at once flashed over the wires, and Fort 
 Pickens would be lost for ever. But if you will issue all the or 
 ders from the Executive Mansion, and let me proceed to New York 
 with them, I will guarantee their prompt execution to the letter." 
 
 "But," said the President, "is not this a most irregular mode 
 of proceeding ? " 
 
 " Certainly," I replied, " but the necessity of the case justi 
 fies it." 
 
 " You are commander-in-chief of the army and navy," said Mr. 
 Seward to the President, " and this is a case where it is necessary 
 
MR. SEWARD TAKES THE INITIATIVE. 15 
 
 to issue direct orders without passing them through intermedia 
 ries." 
 
 " But what will Uncle Gideon say ? " inquired the President. 
 
 " Oh, I will make it all right with Mr. Welles," said the Secre 
 tary of State. " This is the only way, sir, the thing can be done." 
 
 At this very time Mr. Welles was or supposed he was fitting 
 out an expedition for the relief of Fort Sumter. All the orders 
 were issued in the usual way, and, of course, telegraphed to Charles 
 ton, as soon as written, by the persons in the department through 
 whose hands they passed. 
 
 Mr. Seward was well aware of this, and he wanted to prevent 
 such a thing happening in this instance. 
 
 Mr. Welles, no doubt, had the Powhatan on his list of available 
 vessels, and may have relied on her to carry out his plan for the 
 relief of Sumter. Orders had been sent for the several vessels to 
 rendezvous off Charleston on a certain day, but, strange to say, no 
 orders had been issued for the Powhatan to join them, for reasons 
 that will appear in the course of my narrative. 
 
 I observed one thing during this interview, and that was that 
 the best of feeling did not exist between the heads of the State 
 and Navy Departments. Mr. Seward doubtless thought that he 
 had not been as much consulted as he ought to have been in the 
 fitting out of the expedition for the relief of Sumter. He looked 
 upon himself as Prime Minister, and considered that the Secretary 
 of the Navy should defer to him in all matters concerning move 
 ments against those in rebellion, in which opinion Mr. Welles did 
 not concur. Mr. Seward was by nature of an arbitrary disposi 
 tion, and wanted everything done in his own way not a bad qual 
 ity on occasions, but apt to create confusion if persevered in in 
 too many cases. 
 
 In this instance it was eminently proper that the Secretary of 
 State should take the initiative. 
 
 In the course of the conversation Mr. Lincoln remarked : 
 " This looks to me very much like the case of two fellows I once 
 knew : one was a gambler, the other a preacher. They met in a 
 stage, and the gambler induced the preacher to play poker, and the 
 latter won all the gambler s money. It s all because we have 
 mistaken our trades, said the gambler ; ( you ought to have been a 
 gambler and I a preacher, and, by ginger, I intend to turn the ta 
 bles on you next Sunday and preach in your church/ which he 
 did." 
 
16 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 It was finally agreed that my plan should be carried out. I 
 wrote the necessary orders, which were copied by Captain Meigs 
 and signed by the President, who merely said as he did so,-" Sew- 
 ard, see that I don t burn my fingers." 
 
 The first order was for me to proceed to New York and take 
 command of the steam frigate Powhatan, proceed at once to Fort 
 Pickens, run across the bar and anchor at all hazards on the in 
 side, where I could cover the fort and co-operate with Captain 
 Meigs while he was landing the troops, which were to go in a 
 steamer chartered for the occasion. 
 
 The second order was for the commandant of the New York 
 navy-yard, directing him to fit out the Powhatan with all dis 
 patch and with the greatest secrecy, and under no circumstances 
 to inform the Navy Department until after the ship had sailed. 
 
 The third order was to the commanding officer of the Pow 
 hatan, informing him that circumstances required that the utmost 
 dispatch and secrecy should be observed in fitting out the ship, and 
 that it was necessary for the President to confide the execution of 
 his plans to some one who understood them thoroughly, in order 
 that they might be carried out ; that for this reason he was com 
 pelled to detach Captain Mercer from the command of the Powhat 
 an, but that, having the highest confidence in his abilities and pa 
 triotism, the President gave him the option to select any other ship 
 in the navy, etc. 
 
 Armed with these documents, I bade the President good-day, 
 and, in company with Captain Meigs, proceeded to the headquar 
 ters of the General-in-Chief, General Scott, then the military ora 
 cle, without whose authority no troops would have been granted. 
 
 Lieutenant-Colonel Keyes was at that time General Scott s 
 Military Secretary, and when we called on the general he showed 
 us into the anteroom, where Meigs unfolded to him our plans and 
 instructions, requesting that the general would grant us an audi 
 ence as soon as possible. 
 
 When Keyes delivered the message, General Scott gruffly in 
 quired what we wanted, and, when informed, said, " Tell Captain 
 Meigs to walk in ; I won t see any naval officer ; lie can t come in." 
 
 The fact was, the general at that moment was suffering from a 
 severe attack of gout, which made him unwilling to see anybody 
 outside of his military family. 
 
 Captain Meigs shortly rejoined me in the anteroom. With 
 the aid of Keyes, he had succeeded in getting the general to give 
 
.. I PRESENT MY ORDERS TO CAPTAIN FOOTE. 17 
 
 him the desired force of troops for the relief of Pickens, and we 
 therefore departed to carry out the plans. 
 
 Next morning at nine o clock I was at the New York navy- 
 yard, and found that Commodore Breese, the commandant, was 
 absent on a two weeks leave, and that Captain A. H. Foote was in 
 command. This was a fortunate circumstance, for if I had to deal 
 with Commodore Breese I should have experienced no end of trouble 
 in keeping the expedition secret. Breese was a particularly "cau 
 tious man," a by-word in the navy to express a lack of the higher 
 qualities, and he would have eventually let the cat out of the bag, 
 or insisted on telegraphing to the Secretary of the Navy for orders, 
 notwithstanding the President s instructions. It is hard to get an 
 old officer out of a groove in which he has been running for many 
 years, and this way of carrying on operations would have seemed 
 altogether wrong to a man of Commodore Breese s way of think 
 ing. 
 
 As it was, I had trouble enough with Foote to bring him to rea 
 son, and it was only after three hours earnest conversation that I 
 convinced him I was not a rebel in disguise plotting with the Pow- 
 hatan s officers to run away with the ship, and deliver her over to 
 the South. 
 
 "You see, Porter," he said, "there are so many fellows whom 
 I would have trusted to the death who have deserted the flag that 
 I don t know whom to believe." He read my orders over and over, 
 turned them upside down, examined the water-mark and Executive 
 Mansion stamp, and surveyed me from head to foot. " How do I 
 know you are not a traitor ? Who ever heard of such orders as these 
 emanating direct from the President ? I must telegraph to Mr. 
 Welles before I do anything, and ask further instructions." 
 
 "Look at these orders again," I said, "and then telegraph at 
 your peril. Under no circumstances must you inform the Navy 
 Department of this expedition. Now give me a cigar, let me sit 
 here in quiet, and you may take an hour or two to look over those 
 letters if you like ; but if you telegraph to Mr. Welles the President 
 will consider it high treason, and you will lose the best chance you 
 ever had in your life. If you must telegraph, send a message to 
 the President or Mr. Seward." 
 
 "Yes," replied Foote, "and what would prevent you from hav 
 ing a confederate at the other end of the line to receive the mes 
 sage and answer it there is so much treason going on ? " 
 
 I burst out laughing. "What would you say," I inquired, "if 
 2 
 
18 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I were to tell you that Frank Buchanan, Sam Barron, and Magruder 
 were going to desert to the rebels ? " 
 
 Foote jumped from his chair. " God in heaven ! " he exclaimed, 
 " what next ? You don t expect me to trust you after that ? How 
 do I know you are not in league with the others ? But, man, that 
 can t be, for I saw by the morning papers that President Lincoln 
 was at a wedding last night at Buchanan s, and Buchanan had the 
 house festooned with American flags, and all the loyal men of Wash 
 ington were there." 
 
 "So they were," I replied, "but, nevertheless, they will all de 
 sert in a few days, for their hearts are on the other side. Ingraham 
 is going also his chief clerk has already preceded him, and car 
 ried off the signal-book of the navy." 
 
 "Good Lord deliver us !" exclaimed Foote, piously. "I must 
 telegraph to Mr. Welles. I can t stand this strain any longer. It 
 will kill me. You sit smoking and smiling as if this was not a very 
 serious matter. Here " to his chief clerk "bring me a telegraph 
 blank." 
 
 "Before you send that message," said I, "let me call your at 
 tention to a paragraph of the President s order : Under no circum 
 stances will you make known to the Navy Department or any one 
 else the object of this expedition, or the fact that the Powhatan is 
 fitting out. Just think," I continued to Captain Foote, "of the 
 President taking you into his confidence so early in these troubles ; 
 think what a high position you may reach before the trouble with 
 the South is over if we succeed in carrying out this expedition suc 
 cessfully. Then, again, think what a tumble you will get if you 
 disobey a positive order of the President. He will believe rebellion 
 rampant everywhere, and won t know whom to trust. Think of 
 Captain Foote being tried and shot like Admiral Byng for failing 
 to carry out his orders. " 
 
 "Hush, Porter !" exclaimed Foote, "hush at once ! I believe 
 you are a rebel in disguise, for after Frank Buchanan, Barron, and 
 Magruder preparing to desert, and Ingraham, too, with his Kosta 
 record, I won t trust any one. Where are your trunks ? " 
 
 "At the Irving House," I replied. 
 
 " Send the postman here," said Foote. When the man came he 
 said to him, "Go to the Irving House, pay Lieutenant Porter s 
 bill, and take his trunks to my house and tell Mrs. Foote to pre 
 pare the best room. There, my boy, I have you now. You shall 
 stay with me, and I will be ready to arrest you the moment I 
 
CAPTAIN FOOTE MUCH PUZZLED. 19 
 
 find there is any treason about you. After all," continued Foote, 
 " you have come on a wild-goose chase. The Powhatan is stripped 
 to a girt-line. Her engines are all to pieces, her boilers under an 
 order of survey, her boats are worn out, and the ship wants new 
 planking all over. Her magazines are too damp to keep powder in, 
 and we are pulling them all to pieces. She wants a new fore-yard 
 and painting throughout. In fact, the ship is worn out, and I gave 
 orders to haul her into dock this morning preparatory to thorough 
 repairs." 
 
 " So much the better," said I ; " she is just the ship I am look 
 ing for. Never mind paint, never mind repairing the boilers, never 
 mind new spars, or repairs to magazines. I will take her as she is ; 
 only set your people to work and put everything in place, and we 
 can get off in four days. I want a ship that can be sunk without 
 any great loss." 
 
 "But," said Foote, "all the Powhatan s officers have been 
 granted leave, and her crew transferred to the receiving-ship." 
 
 " Telegraph the officers to return at once, and send the crew on 
 board to rig and equip her," I replied. 
 
 "I can t do that," he said, "unless I telegraph to Mr. "Welles." 
 
 I repeated from the order of the President, "Under no circum 
 stances will you make known to the Navy Department the object 
 of this expedition." 
 
 Captain Foote was puzzled. At last, after considering the mat 
 ter, he said, " I will trust you, though I am utterly nonplussed ; 
 it s such a doubtful business. I will set to work immediately, and 
 by night we will have the spars up and by noon to-morrow I will 
 have all the officers back. Come home with me now and take 
 lunch, and I will give the sentry at my house orders to keep an eye 
 on you when I return to the office. " 
 
 "And I will return to the office," I replied, " and watch you to 
 see that you don t telegraph to Mr. Welles. I want to save you, if 
 possible, from the fate of Admiral Byng. " 
 
 Foote laughed heartily now that the weight was off his mind, 
 and he had determined to carry out the President s instructions. 
 A double set of men were put on board the Powhatan with orders 
 to work day and night that the ship might be ready in three days. 
 
 Captain Foote and myself sat up nearly all that night talking 
 over this adventure, for Foote had now as much interest in the 
 matter as I had, and was very enthusiastic over the anticipated suc 
 cess of the expedition. 
 
20 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 It was cold weather, and a fire was burning in my room. To 
 make things comfortable, I said, " Suppose you send for a kettle 
 of water, some lemons and sugar, and let us have some hot 
 punch." 
 
 Foote, although a teetotaler, had every kind of liquor in his 
 house for the use of his friends. " If you ever tell anybody, you bad 
 fellow," said he, " that I sat up with you after midnight brewing 
 punch, I ll never forgive you." 
 
 But in ten minutes I had brewed some whisky-punch which I 
 thought admirable. " Let me make you one," I said. 
 
 "Well," he replied, "if you will take some hot water, lemon 
 and sugar, and mix them together, and put in a very little whisky 
 f unbeknownst to me, I will keep you company." 
 
 So there we sat during the long hours of the night, discussing 
 the future prospects of the navy, and before daylight the captain 
 had given up all idea of telegraphing Mr. Welles. 
 
 Next morning I accompanied Foote to his office. Captain Mer 
 cer was sent for and the President s letter read to him, and he was 
 enjoined to secrecy. Captain Meigs also came over and explained 
 the part he was to bear in the expedition, and informed Foote that 
 he had transcribed all the orders in the President s presence ; this 
 settled all Foote s qualms, and the work on the Powhatan proceeded 
 rapidly. 
 
 The boilers and machinery were put in pretty fair order, and 
 the officers returned in obedience to the telegrams. Captain Mer 
 cer took nominal command, and my presence in the navy-yard 
 caused no comment, as I never went near the ship. 
 
 On the fourth day the ship was all ready for sea, with steam up 
 and the pilot on board, and Captain Meigs had informed me he 
 would sail in the Atlantic at 3 P. M. with the troops under com 
 mand of Colonel Harvey Brown. 
 
 My luggage had been sent on board the previous night, and I 
 was in Captain Foote s .office, having a last talk with him, when a 
 telegram came from the Secretary of the Navy : " Prepare the Pow 
 hatan for sea with all dispatch." 
 
 Foote handed the telegram to me, quite dazed. " There," he 
 said, " you are dished ! " 
 
 "Not by any means," I replied; "this telegram is all right, 
 only the President has got uneasy about the ship not sailing, since 
 he was under the impression that she was ready for sea at a mo 
 ment s notice, and has made a confidant of Mr. Welles. Let me 
 
THE POWHATAN UNDER WAY. 21 
 
 get on board and off, and you can telegraph that the Powhatan has 
 sailed." 
 
 "No," said Foote, calling for pen and ink, "I must telegraph 
 to Mr. Welles." 
 
 "Don t make any mistake," I said. "You must obey the 
 Commander-in-Chief of the army and navy in preference to all 
 others," and I quoted the President s order : "Under no circum 
 stances will you make known to the Navy Department the object of 
 this expedition." 
 
 Foote threw down his pen. " Porter," he exclaimed, " you will 
 be the death of me ; but I will send for Mercer and Captain Meigs 
 to join our conference." 
 
 Both these gentlemen were soon at the office, and both urged 
 Foote to obey the President s order, which he concluded to do. 
 
 I afterward ascertained that other telegrams had been sent to 
 Captain Foote, while I was staying at his house, by the Secretary of 
 the Navy in relation to the fitting out of the Powhatan, but he 
 never mentioned the fact to me a circumstance for which I can 
 not account. 
 
 " Now go right on board, my boy," said Foote to me, " and 
 get off, and as soon as you are under way I will telegraph the Sec 
 retary that you have sailed." So, bidding Captain Foote good-by, 
 I slipped on board the Powhatan, unnoticed amid the crowd, and 
 locked myself in the captain s state-room. 
 
 Captain Mercer was to remain in command until we got to 
 Staten Island, when he was to go ashore and the ship proceed down 
 the bay in charge of the first lieutenant. After the ship passed 
 the bar and the pilot had left, I was to appear. 
 
 The moment the ship turned her head down stream Foote tele 
 graphed her departure to the Secretary of the Navy. 
 
 We met with many obstacles in our progress down the East 
 River, and did not have steam fairly up for an hour after leaving 
 the navy-yard. We were an hour and a half in reaching Staten 
 Island, and consumed another hour in landing Captain Mercer, as 
 the old boat nearly filled with water going on shore, and kept half 
 the crew bailing her out. 
 
 Just as the boat was hoisted up and the order given to go ahead, 
 the quartermaster reported, "A fast steamer a-chasin and sig 
 nalin of us, sir, and an officer wavin his cap ! " 
 
 Perry, the first lieutenant, did not know who was captain or 
 that I was in the cabin, so he stopped until the steamer came up, 
 
22 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 although she would have caught us anyhow, for Foote had char 
 tered the fastest little steamer out of New York, and kept her with 
 steam up, ready to start after me the moment the expected tele 
 gram should arrive. 
 
 The steamboat was soon alongside the Powhatan, and Lieuten 
 ant Eoe came on board and delivered a telegram. Perry walked 
 into the cabin, and, to his astonishment, found me there and handed 
 me the dispatch. It read as follows : 
 
 "Deliver up the Powhatan at once to Captain Mercer. 
 
 "SEWARD." 
 I telegraphed back : 
 
 "Have received confidential orders from the President, and 
 shall obey them. D. D. PORTER." 
 
 I then went on deck and gave orders to go ahead fast. In an 
 hour and a half we were over the bar, discharged the pilot, and 
 steering south for an hour, and then due east, to throw any 
 pursuers off our track (for I was determined to go to Fort Pickens). 
 At sundown I steered my course. 
 
 When my answer to the Secretary of State was handed to 
 Captain Foote he was astonished. "He s clean daft!" said he, 
 " or has run off with the ship to join the rebels. They would have 
 tried him by court-martial anyhow. Well, I ll never trust any one 
 again, for I have lost faith in human nature. Porter would have 
 been such a help to our side, whereas if he can get a fast vessel he 
 will be the most destructive pirate that ever roamed the seas." 
 
 We often laughed together afterward over this episode, but 
 Foote always ended by saying, "You ought to have been tried 
 and shot ; no one but yourself would ever have been so impudent." 
 
 Mr. Seward, however, was of a different opinion, and chuckled 
 over the success of his pet scheme and at the idea of circumventing 
 Mr. Welles. The President smiled complacently when he read my 
 telegram, and said, "Seward, if the Southerners get Sumter we 
 will be even with them by securing Pickens." I made a warm 
 friend in each of them, and Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Seward both 
 stood by me during the war whenever Mr. Welles who was not 
 partial to me was disposed to be annoying. 
 
 When Mr. Welles received Captain Foote s telegram announcing 
 the departure of the Powhatan, he hurried over to the White House, 
 where he found Mr. Seward with the President, and forthwith 
 protested against the interference of the Secretary of State in the 
 
THE POWHATAN ARRIVES AT FORT PICKENS. 23 
 
 affairs of the Navy Department, demanding the restitution of what 
 he termed "the stolen ship," and informing the President that on 
 the Powhatan depended the success of the relief expedition to Fort 
 Sumter, as she carried the large boats necessary for that occasion 
 when in fact the Powhatan would not have been of a particle of 
 use, as she drew too much water to cross Charleston bar, and the 
 boats in question were good for nothing, as they had been so long 
 exposed to the weather without paint that they filled with water 
 as soon as they were lowered overboard. 
 
 If Mr. Welles had reflected a little he would have discovered 
 that the Powhatan could not have reached Charleston in time to be 
 of any use, for his order to prepare the ship for sea did not reach 
 New York until the morning of the 1st of April, 1861, and if the 
 vessel had not been taken in hand when she was, she would have 
 been on that date in dry-dock, pulled to pieces, and with half her 
 boilers on shore. As it was, the rebels opened fire on Sumter from 
 their heavy earth- works as soon as the vessels composing Mr. Welles s 
 expedition approached the bar, and they could not have done a 
 particle of good. Had they tried to succor the people in the fort, 
 they would have been sunk in a very few minutes. A more foolish 
 expedition was never dispatched, and Mr. Lincoln remarked, when 
 the news was brought to him, " It s a good rule never to send a 
 mouse to catch a skunk, or a polywog to tackle a whale." 
 
 The attempt to relieve Sumter was a curious muddle, and had, 
 from the first inception of the design, no chance of success. Mr. 
 Seward was evidently opposed to it, feeling sure that it would be a 
 failure, and so he got up the expedition to Pickens, certain that it 
 could not fail to be successful. The Secretary of State wished to 
 show that he was a better sailor than Mr. Welles. 
 
 We reached Fort Pickens the day after the Collins steamship 
 transporting the troops, although she sailed after we did. I ran 
 in for the harbor, crossed the bar, and was standing up to Round 
 Fort, when a tug put out from Pickens and placed herself across my 
 path. Captain Meigs was on board the tug, waving a document, 
 and, hailing, said he had an order from Colonel Brown. It was to 
 the following effect : " Don t permit Powhatan to run the batteries 
 or attempt to go inside. It will bring the fire of the enemy on the 
 fort before we are prepared." 
 
 I felt like running over Meigs s tug, but obeyed the order. The 
 stars and stripes were hoisted, in hopes the enemy would open fire, 
 but they did not, nor do I believe they had any intention of so doing. 
 
24: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 The people in this part of the country were not in the same state 
 of excitement as the Charlestonians, and would have been more care 
 ful about firing the first gun. Besides, I do not think they were 
 prepared for hostilities, for they had mounted a number of guns all 
 en larlette. and did not seem to have any intention of using them. 
 
 The Powhatan had her ten ports on the port side filled with 
 nine-inch guns, and there was one eleven-inch pivot. All were 
 loaded with grape and canister. Besides, there were twelve how 
 itzers placed in different parts of the ship and loaded with shrap 
 nel. "With our trained gunners we could have swept the raw sol 
 diers from the rebel batteries. 
 
 It was therefore unfortunate that Captain Meigs interfered by 
 presenting the order. A fine opportunity was lost for the Govern 
 ment to demonstrate its power and determination to maintain its 
 authority at all hazards. 
 
 Mr. Welles claimed that this expedition to Pickens was useless, 
 as he " had already instructed the commanding officer of the forces 
 off Pensacola Bar to send re-enforcements to Fort Pickens in case it 
 was attacked." (!) But that prudent officer lay at anchor five miles 
 from the fort, where he could be of no manner of use in case of a 
 surprise. 
 
 General Bragg had a large force of troops in and around the 
 navy-yard, and the second day after our arrival a number of tugs 
 and schooners, filled with soldiers, came down from Pensacola and 
 approached Fort Pickens, whether with the intention of attacking 
 it or not I don t know. They no doubt took the Powhatan and the 
 Collins steamer for store-ships, and thought it a good time to com 
 mence operations and secure "loot," but I changed the programme 
 by sending an eleven-inch shrapnel among them, which, bursting at 
 the right time, threw up the water in all directions. 
 
 The flotilla scampered off in quick time, and left us to quietly 
 prepare the fort for any emergency, and it remained in our posses 
 sion during the whole of the civil war. 
 
 At that time the news that Sumter had been fired on had not 
 reached us, and we were under the impression that our shot was the 
 first that had been fired. 
 
 When I left Washington it had seemed to be the leading idea 
 that nobody should get hurt, and that the sensitive feelings of our 
 Southern brethren should not be ruffled ; but when I beheld Bragg s 
 transports approaching, I thought it high time to try the persuasive 
 power of an eleven-inch shell. 
 
FEAR OF COMMITTING AN OVERT ACT. 25 
 
 My sentiments at that moment were like those of an old fellow 
 they tell of at Bunker Hill, who was much amused at the repeated 
 volleys of musketry poured out by the advancing British until a 
 ball struck him in the fleshy part of the leg, when he roared out to 
 his son, who stood near him, "Dang it, Jim, they re firin bullets ; 
 we must fire back at em ! " I thought it time to be firing bullets. 
 
 The above is the way Fort Pickens and the gallant Slemmer and 
 his men were saved from capture. 
 
 If the commanding officer of the naval forces off the bar had 
 been left to his own discretion, Slemmer would have had but a poor 
 show in case he had been attacked, although Mr. Welles no doubt 
 thought everything was being done to guard the fort against sur 
 prise. The commander of the squadron, however, assured me that 
 he was so tied down by instructions " not to commit any overt act " 
 that he would not dare to undertake anything without specific 
 orders. He thought me very reckless in firing a shell among Gen 
 eral Bragg s vessels, as, "after all, they perhaps meant nothing, and 
 were merely going to land stores at the navy-yard ! " It seemed to 
 me shameful, with such a force as this officer had under his com 
 mand, that the rebels should be holding the navy-yard at all. 
 
 There was a great want of discretion among some of the leading 
 officers of the squadron. As an example, I will mention that Lieu 
 tenant Renshaw, who had deserted his flag, went out from Pensa- 
 cola in a sail-boat, and, after spending some time in the cabin of 
 the flag-ship, came out with a boy carrying a large bag of ship s bis 
 cuit, which was passed into his boat. 
 
 The sailors gathered at the gangway to witness this novel pro 
 ceeding, and many a hearty curse did Renshaw receive as he slid 
 down the man-ropes into his boat. The general expression was, 
 " Double-dyed traitor ! " yet the same captain who had entertained 
 Renshaw told me I would probably be tried by court-martial for 
 firing at Bragg s men, who I had every reason to suppose were 
 trying to capture Fort Pickens. 
 
 I must leave the reader to judge what were Mr. Seward s motives 
 for making this movement on Fort Pickens, and whether or not it 
 was a good one. Without doubt the Government vindicated its 
 authority, and maintained possession of its own property. 
 
26 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 INCIDENTS AT PENSACOLA TWO DISTINGUISHED TRAVELLERS 
 WHO PEOYE TO BE OLD ACQUAINTANCES A MEMORABLE 
 BREAKFAST. 
 
 WHEN one takes a retrospective view of the events which, oc 
 curred twenty-four years ago, he can not help but admit that this 
 is a progressive age ; and when he sees a building burn down he may 
 console himself with the idea that he will live to see a finer one 
 springing up from its ashes, particularly if the old one has been well 
 insured. There may be pleasant recollections associated with the 
 original building, for the loss of which we can never be repaid ; but 
 time heals all things, and we learn to do without the old associa 
 tions and form other and dearer ties. 
 
 I have often lamented the wicked waste of life and property 
 caused by our civil war ; but I have now learned to look upon all 
 these matters philosophically, and sometimes think it was intended 
 the nation should pass through such an experience, as children go 
 through with their various diseases, by way of preparing them for 
 the greater trials of life. 
 
 If we take this view of the matter, we may find some consola 
 tion for the events of a fratricidal war which should never have 
 taken place. 
 
 It seems difficult, however, to find any compensation for the 
 numerous blunders that were committed by those in authority. 
 Our house has indeed sprung from its ashes more beautiful than 
 ever, but how much better it would have been to have saved it from 
 the fire by using proper precautions ! 
 
 When I look back to the time when it was considered so impor 
 tant to secure Fort Pickens and the Pensacola navylyard, I have 
 often wondered why our vessels did not go in and take possession, 
 since it was easy enough to do so, and, in all probability, no one would 
 have been hurt ; but our Government was so exceedingly sensitive 
 about wounding the feelings of the seceders that although we had 
 the force at hand no steps were taken to prevent General Bragg 
 from fortifying the navy-yard and the approaches to Pensacola. 
 Fort Pickens after it was re-enforced could have knocked all Bragg s 
 batteries to pieces in half an hour ; or a single frigate under cover 
 
COMMITTING NO OVERT ACT." 27 
 
 of the fort could have driven the enemy away and recovered a 
 large amount of valuable public property. 
 
 But no ; the officers of the army and navy were obliged to look 
 quietly on the unceasing labors of the Confederates, apparently 
 waiting the completion of works that they would then proceed to 
 knock to pieces, at the same time destroying the public property 
 which it was their duty to preserve. 
 
 After Fort Pickens was fully manned, the Union squadron 
 hauled in closer and looked placidly on, while the people of Mobile 
 were supplying the rebel army with everything they wanted by 
 means of tugs and schooners. 
 
 At first the Confederates were cautious how they sent in sup 
 plies ; but, finding that they were not molested, or even questioned, 
 they began to send them openly by sea in large quantities. 
 
 Vessels loaded with lumber departed daily from Pensacola har 
 bor, and others entered, but not a boat was sent from the flag-ship 
 to inquire what were the cargoes and for whom intended, and 
 Bragg and his officers lived quietly in the navy-yard houses, no 
 doubt wondering why they were permitted to enjoy themselves so 
 pleasantly, and hoping the truce would last an indefinite period. 
 
 I went on board the senior naval officer s ship several times to 
 try and get an explanation of this very peculiar method of carrying 
 on war, but the only satisfaction I received was the information 
 that the commanding officer s orders were to " commit no overt 
 act." These orders were the last communication received from the 
 department some thirty days previous. 
 
 I asked the senior officer to let me take the responsibility of 
 blockading the port of Pensacola, but he objected to my doing so. 
 There was in all this business an inanity of which I had never con 
 ceived. The commanding officer of Fort Pickens had no orders at 
 all that I am aware of, except to hold the fort, and not draw the 
 fire of the Confederates. 
 
 One day the commander of the squadron signaled me to meet 
 him at the fort for a conference, and I at once repaired there. 
 
 The Confederates had hauled the dry dock out of the basin at 
 the navy -yard and anchored it about two hundred yards from Fort 
 Pickens. There were a number of men on the dock, and four heavy 
 anchors were hanging from its ends. 
 
 "When I reached the fort the senior naval officer was there in 
 consultation with the commanding officer of the troops. They had 
 written to Bragg to ask what were his intentions with regard to 
 
28 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the dry dock. Bragg replied that the dock got adrift and that he 
 would restore it to its place. About four hours afterward it acci 
 dentally sunk in the middle of the channel ! Of course, nobody 
 believed that this was really an accident, but our senior officers 
 thought they had done their duty by inquiring of Bragg what he 
 intended to do, and, after having seen him carry out his intentions, 
 they sat down quietly to dinner. Colonel Brown filled up some 
 more sand-bags, and Bragg mounted an extra gun ; they were like 
 two boys daring each other to knock off chips from their shoulders 
 and playing a farce of war. 
 
 Next day the smoke of two steamers was descried to the west 
 ward, and I signaled for "permission to chase," which was granted. 
 In an hour I came up with two large river boats loaded with pro 
 visions for General Bragg s army, of which they made no secret. I 
 put each vessel in charge of an officer and prize crew, and escorted 
 them to the flag-ship, where they were anchored. 
 
 These vessels had on board some $375,000 worth of stores, and 
 the captains made many silly threats because they were interfered 
 with enough in fact, to make the senior naval officer think he had 
 committed an " overt act " ! So he was willing to compromise, and 
 let the steamers off, provided they would return to Mobile, which 
 they were very glad to do. I was ordered to escort them back to 
 the place where I had captured them, and one of the steamers at 
 tempting to run into Pensacola, I sent a nine-inch shell after her, 
 which burst over the vessel, whereupon she turned and preceded 
 me toward Mobile. A nine-inch shot is a terribly effective argu 
 ment in such a case. 
 
 I convoyed the vessels some miles down the coast, and, disgusted 
 with such humiliating duty, I told the steamboat captains to get 
 ready to go on board and take command of their vessels again, say 
 ing, as I did so, " Now let me give you a piece of advice. Don t 
 try this again ; if you do, and come within reach of my guns, I will 
 sink you. I have a great mind to do it anyhow." They never 
 tried it again. 
 
 If permitted, the rebels would have gone on committing infrac 
 tions of the mutual truce which seemed to have been tacitly estab 
 lished, until finally they would have demanded Fort Pickens, and I 
 am not sure but what it would have been considered "an overt 
 act " to have refused them. 
 
 I returned to my anchorage completely disgusted, and went im 
 mediately to call on the senior officer and to protest against my 
 
TWO TRAVELERS. 29 
 
 officers and ship being employed on such humiliating duty. I de 
 manded permission to blockade the port of Pensacola and stop the 
 supplies that were being constantly taken in to Bragg s army. 
 Much to my surprise my demand was granted, provided everything 
 was done on my own responsibility and that I should commit no 
 " overt act." That seemed to be the stumbling-block in the senior 
 officer s way. The quotation appalled him. 
 
 Next day I established a rigid blockade of the harbor with my 
 boats and a small pilot-boat of which I had obtained possession, 
 and Bragg got no more supplies by water, for not even a canoe was 
 allowed to pass in or out. My communications with the senior offi 
 cer ceased altogether, and for a week I did not see him. 
 
 Ever since the re~enf orcement of Pickens I had been made to " eat 
 dirt," as the Turks say, and I began to fear there would be no end 
 to our humiliation ; but, thank Heaven, it. was over at last, and I had 
 the satisfaction of hoping that Bragg and his men would occasion 
 ally be short of rations, although he could get provisions by haul 
 ing them over the sand from Mobile. 
 
 Amid the most serious events there is often something calcu 
 lated to bring a smile to the face. Much stupidity was practiced 
 by the United States forces at Pensacola, and a good deal of cunning 
 and zeal shown by the Confederates. I changed the aspect of affairs 
 and made things lively for the first few days. When I got hold of 
 the pilot-boat I put Sailing-Master George Brown in charge of her, 
 and with the boats of the Powhatan operated very successfully. 
 There was no prize-money made, but we caused a deal of disappoint 
 ment to the enemy. 
 
 On the third day of the blockade a thick fog set in, giving block 
 ade-runners a fine opportunity to get in and out of Pensacola. 
 
 Of course everybody in the Southern States knew the condition 
 of affairs at Pensacola, and how easy it was to get away from there 
 or to enter through the unguarded gates of Fort Pickens. A num 
 ber of people were picked up and sent back in both directions. 
 
 On the third morning one of our boats returned alongside the 
 ship, towing a good-sized sail-boat with two persons sitting in the 
 stern dressed like travelers, each with a traveling-bag by his side. 
 
 The moment I saw these persons I recognized them and told 
 the officer of the deck not to give them my real name, but to show 
 them to the cabin and say that " the captain would be on board 
 in half an hour and expected them to breakfast, etc." I wanted to 
 have a little amusement out of this incident. 
 
30 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 When the travelers mounted the side and found themselves 
 standing on the deck of a large ship bristling with guns, they both 
 looked exceedingly disturbed, and, though muffled in heavy over 
 coats to keep out the chilling fog, they trembled perceptibly. 
 
 One of the men, a bluff Briton, in rather an arrogant manner 
 asked the officer of the deck who was the captain of the ship, and 
 by what right he dared to detain one of her Majesty s subjects 
 while in transit from one country to another. If he was not at 
 once allowed to proceed, and an apology made for his detention, he 
 would lay the whole matter before her Majesty s Government and 
 claim heavy damages. 
 
 "You will have to wait," said the officer of the deck. "Cap 
 tain Jones will be here in half an hour, and he expects you to break 
 fast with him, as you must feel quite exhausted after your long 
 journey from Montgomery." 
 
 The two travelers started, and the one who had not before 
 spoken said, in an agitated voice, " Bless my soul, there must be 
 some mistake ; we don t know Captain Jones, in fact never heard of 
 him. We are simply travelers getting out of that nasty place 
 where you can t get a decent cup of coffee or a glass of wine. My 
 name is Wilkins ; my friend here is Mr. Blarney." 
 
 " Barney, if you please," interrupted his companion. 
 
 "Yes, bless my soul," said Wilkins, "you re right. I m a lit 
 tle confused this morning. Here are our cards." 
 
 The cards read, "Mr. Barney, British Legation," and "Mr. 
 Wilkins, Commissioner of Agriculture, Berlin." 
 
 " Please walk into the cabin, gentlemen," said the officer of the 
 deck, "and wait the captain s coming. I will have your great 
 coats dried by the galley fire. " 
 
 While this conversation was going on I had directed the steward 
 to set the breakfast- table for three persons, and to give us the best 
 breakfast possible, not forgetting claret and Rhine wine, and some 
 hot pickled peppers. The cards had been handed to me through my 
 state-room window after the gentlemen were shown into the cabin. 
 
 Both looked surprised when they saw the table set for breakfast. 
 "Egad !" said Wilkins, "we re in for a lark, old boy; this is bet 
 ter than sailing about in a fog." 
 
 I could hear every word they said, and, by moving the slats in 
 the blinds of my state-room, could see the puzzled faces of two old 
 acquaintances, who had no idea I was within a thousand miles of 
 them. 
 
A PERPLEXING PARROT. 31 
 
 "By George ! old fellow," said Wilkins, "the captain does ex 
 pect some one to breakfast, sure enough ; and just look at this old 
 Lafitte and Rhine wine ; why, this Jones must know how to live ; 
 and, by George ! if he hasn t some chile Colorado in that pickle- 
 dish napkins, glassware, silver ; why, Barney, old boy, we are in 
 clover ; I hope Jones will invite us to stay a week." 
 
 "The chances are," said Barney, in a melancholy voice, "that 
 this is all a mistake, and that we will be turned out in half an hour 
 to mess with the crew, or tarred and feathered and sent back to 
 Dixie, as those blasted fools on shore call it. But if this Captain 
 Jones takes any liberties with me, one of her Majesty s squadrons 
 will come down here and open this port in short order." 
 
 " Bosh !" said Wilkins. " Devil take me, old boy, if I am going 
 to quarrel with Captain Jones, Brown, or Smith, or whatever his 
 name is, as long as he sets as good a table as this. Ah ! my lips 
 smack at the thought of getting some of that Lafitte. You Brit 
 ishers are so stupid about your dignity ! Why, I don t believe Queen 
 Victoria would care a snap if these fellows were to swing you up at 
 the yard-arm to-morrow. She wouldn t trouble herself to send any 
 squadron to look after you, old boy. Come, get in a good humor 
 God bless the old lady, rule Britannia if you please, but don t let s 
 lose a good breakfast by your stupid English ways." 
 
 At that moment, through the blinds of my state-room came 
 the sounds, "Pretty Poll ! Polly have a pepper ?" as natural as 
 life. 
 
 The travelers started, then looked around. " D n that Poll 
 parrot ; this don t speak well for Jones. JSTo one but an ass would 
 keep a parrot. However, his Lafitte seems to be all right." 
 
 "Polly, put the kettle on ! Britannia rules the waves," yelled 
 the parrot, winding up with a demoniac laugh. 
 
 " Well," said Barney, " the parrot isn t as big a fool as its own 
 er, for he knows who rules the waves." 
 
 " Bosh 1 " exclaimed "Wilkins, " didn t the Yankees thrash you 
 in the year 1812?" 
 
 "Ha! ha!" shouted the parrot, <( Yankee Doodle came to 
 town and whipped the British nation ! " 
 
 " I d wring that parrot s neck if I had him," said the English 
 man ; " he s a bigger fool than your friend Jones." 
 
 "Don t abuse Jones," said Wilkins, "until we find out what 
 kind of a cook he has." 
 
 At that moment the supposed parrot sang out, " Fie ! fie ! 
 
32 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 fie ! Sam, does your mother know you re out ? Polly wants a 
 cracker ! " 
 
 Wilkins jumped from his chair. " Did you hear that ? " he said. 
 
 " Yes, I heard it," replied Barney. " Don t pay any attention to 
 that infernal bird ; you will make as big an ass of yourself as Jones, 
 who must be hard up for- amusement to keep a parrot." 
 
 "Watch your bag, Sam," sang out the parrot. "Contraband! 
 contraband ! Spy ! spy ! " 
 
 Wilkins rushed for the state-room door ; it was locked on the in 
 side. " I ll wring the d d parrot s neck," he shouted. "What 
 does this mean ? " 
 
 " Conscience makes cowards of us all, 5 " replied the other. " It s 
 only parrot s nonsense. I knew of one once that could repeat 
 words as fast as he heard them uttered." 
 
 " Cowards of us all ! " yelled the parrot ; " I belong to that ass 
 Jones ! " 
 
 "That s the devil," said Wilkins; "I wish I could throttle 
 him." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! " laughed the parrot. " Sam Ward, Sam 
 Ward, Sam Ward ! ha ! ha ! ha ! Polly wants a cracker ! " 
 
 Wilkins turned pale, seized his traveling-bag and rushed to the 
 cabin-door, but, on opening it, was met by the orderly, who in 
 formed him that he could not pass out. 
 
 "What ! " inquired Wilkins, "am I a prisoner ? " 
 
 "My orders are, sir," replied the orderly, "that you gentlemen 
 must remain in the cabin until the captain comes on board." 
 
 The parrot laughed and sang out, "Sam Ward a prisoner ! fie ! 
 fie ! fie ! Sam ! fie ! fie 1 " 
 
 Wilkins rushed again to the state-room door, which he tried in 
 vain to open, while the parrot inside sang out, "Sam Ward !" 
 
 Wilkins sank exhausted on the sofa. "I ll give this Captain 
 Jones a piece of my mind for teaching his rascally parrot such twad 
 dle. I wonder where he could have heard of me." 
 
 Just then the parrot shouted, "Walk in, Captain Jones; Sam 
 Ward says you re an ass ! " and I opened the state-room door and 
 walked into the cabin. 
 
 If a thunderbolt had fallen, Sam Ward, alias Wilkins, could not 
 have been more astonished. 
 
 "In the name of Heaven," he exclaimed, "where did you come 
 from ? Do you belong to this ship ? " and he seized me by the hand 
 and almost shook my arm from its socket. "Do you know Captain 
 
A PLEASANT BREAKFAST. 33 
 
 Jones ? He owes me an apology for teaching his parrot a lot of 
 infernal nonsense about me." 
 
 " Fie ! fie ! fie ! Sam Ward ! " exclaimed a small messenger boy, 
 sitting demurely on a camp-stool ; said boy having been brought in 
 to personate a parrot which bird he could imitate to perfection 
 " Polly wants a pepper." 
 
 "Good gracious!" exclaimed Sam Ward, "that was your 
 nonsense, then ? and I might have known it the moment I 
 saw you. I haven t forgotten your tricks and jokes when we went 
 through Magellan Straits in the old Panama ; but what are you 
 doing here ? " 
 
 "I am Captain Jones," I replied. "I suppose I have as much 
 right to an alias as you have. " 
 
 "Well, thank Providence, I am sure of a good breakfast; but 
 let me introduce you to my friend Mr. Barney, who is traveling 
 with me ; we won t be sent to Fort Lafayette, will we ? " 
 
 "How do you do, Mr. E ?" I said, addressing the soi-di- 
 
 sant Barney. "I knew you through your full whiskers, and con 
 gratulate you upon being under a real flag once more. I don t think 
 her Majesty will send a squadron to break up the blockade, but we 
 will get some breakfast and then talk business." 
 
 Sam Ward said he had got caught in the South, and he and 
 
 E had to get out of the country the best way they could. 
 
 Hearing that Pensacola was not blockaded, they came there, and, 
 hiring a boat and a man to manage it, were coming out under cover 
 of a fog when captured. " Thank fortune, I smell the coffee," said 
 Sam, "and know that breakfast is coming." 
 
 E also became quite communicative, told me he had trav 
 eled South to see how things were going, and was glad enough to 
 get out of the country. 
 
 That was a pleasant breakfast. Sam Ward, as usual, took charge, 
 called for all the sauces in the pantry, and paid his best respects to 
 the Lafitte and Ehine wine. 
 
 Sam Ward talked Union like a man ; E was evidently bit 
 ten wifti the secession mania. He said we should have a long and 
 bitter war, and could never restore the Union unless we granted the 
 Southern people all they asked for. 
 
 That night I sent my guests off in the pilot-boat with their own 
 boat in tow, with directions to take them to the entrance of Mobile 
 Bay and let them go. 
 
 The last thing Sam Ward did was to extort from me a promise 
 
 3 
 
34: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 never to tell that parrot story, and I only do so now that he has 
 gone to his long home, where, if he takes cognizance of what is 
 occurring here below, he will not be displeased at my bringing in 
 an old friend in connection with this little incident of the war. 
 
 I had my suspicions about the two travelers, and thought possi 
 bly they might have been messengers from the Southern cabinet to 
 friends in the North, but I was not going to raise a question that 
 might have vexed the Secretary of State and burned my own fingers. 
 I took their word as gentlemen, and dismissed them after they had 
 enjoyed my hospitality. 
 
 When I knew how loosely the blockade of Pensacola had been 
 maintained, and how the Confederates had been encouraged to 
 mount guns, complete their defences, and bring in provisions and 
 stores for their troops, I thought it would be idle for me to inter 
 fere with the movements of two gentlemen who claimed to be run 
 ning away from the South and trying to reach the flesh-pots of the 
 Yankees. They could not do much harm, I thought, and I have 
 always been glad that I had it in my power to contribute to their 
 comfort in their journey through the lines. 
 
 Four days after the above episode Captain McKean arrived in 
 the frigate Niagara. I went immediately on board and informed 
 that officer, in as few words as possible, how matters stood, and how 
 badly affairs had been conducted. 
 
 He signaled at once for all commanding officers to repair on 
 board the Niagara, and, when we were all in the cabin, Captain 
 McKean addressed us as follows : 
 
 " Gentlemen, these are ticklish times, and it is necessary for the 
 senior officers of the navy to set an example to the younger ones. 
 What I propose will keep people to their duty ; but if the officers 
 present have any conscientious scruples about taking an oath of 
 allegiance, they can state them or for ever after hold their peace. 
 I propose that we all do now take the oath of allegiance to the 
 United States, and sign a paper to the effect that we will serve the 
 Government until death do us part and, forsaking all others, cleave 
 unto her our natural mother." 
 
 The old gentleman was deeply religious, and had evidently been 
 reading the marriage ceremony, but his remarks were forcible and 
 to the point. 
 
 The officer, whom I have before mentioned, declined point- 
 blank to take the oath and it was not an " iron-clad " affair either 
 whereupon I stepped forward and said, " I think every man should 
 
TAKING THE OATH OF ALLEGIANCE. 35 
 
 be obliged to take that oath, for I have seen more treason in the 
 last ten days than I ever supposed could exist in the United States 
 Navy." So I signed the paper, and Captain McKean administered 
 the oath to me. 
 
 Captain McKean looked coolly at the captain who had declined 
 to sign. "Now, captain," he said, "will you sign this paper and 
 take the oath of allegiance or not ? " 
 
 "1 solemnly protest against it," replied the other; "you have 
 no authority to require it of us. We took our oaths when we en 
 tered the navy." 
 
 " Yes," said the old captain, " so did many others, and they 
 violated them. You must either take the oath or suffer the conse 
 quences for not doing so." 
 
 "I will sign the paper under protest, and take the oath with a 
 reservation." 
 
 "I don t care how you do it," said Captain McKean, "but do 
 it you must." 
 
 The officer sulkily signed the paper, took the oath, and, turning 
 on his heel, left the cabin without saying " Good-morning " to any 
 one. 
 
 " I fear I have made a mistake," said Captain McKean, "in not 
 arresting that officer." 
 
 "Yes," replied I, " you never made a greater mistake in your 
 life ; but he will keep his oath with a reservation never to fire a shot 
 at the South in anger," and so it turned out. 
 
 In a few days Captain McKean scattered all the vessels in differ 
 ent directions, leaving the above-mentioned officer in charge at 
 Pensacola Bar, with orders to maintain a strict blockade and not 
 let even a canoe pass in or out. 
 
 Months passed away. Bragg built his fortifications and never 
 molested Fort Pickens. Colonel Brown piled up sand-bags and 
 never troubled Bragg. Neither of them committed an " overt act." 
 A more innocent war was never carried on. 
 
36 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 DELAY AT PENSACOLA ATTACK ON" FORT MORGAN" PENSACOLA 
 ABANDONED A REMARKABLE SPECIMEN OF A SOUTHERN" 
 UNIONIST. 
 
 I HAD at last the satisfaction of seeing Pensacola fall into the 
 hands of the Union forces. 
 
 I was sent in the Powhatan to blockade the southwest pass of 
 the Mississippi, and while there recaptured the brig Mary Bradford, 
 the first prize taken by the rebel privateer Sumter. 
 
 I obtained from the crew of the brig information of the Sumter s 
 movements, and went on board the Niagara, which had come in that 
 day, and asked Captain McKean s permission to go in pursuit of 
 that vessel. Captain McKean was no longer senior officer, and did 
 not feel justified in permitting me to go. Commodore Mervine had 
 assumed command of the squadron, and was then off Pensacola in 
 the flag-ship Susquehanna, and Captain McKean gave me permis 
 sion to go there and see the commodore, two hundred miles away. 
 
 There was a fascination about Pensacola Bar that kept the com 
 manding officers there day after day gazing at the harbor and fancy 
 ing, perhaps, that they were acquiring experience in the art of war. 
 
 I arrived at Pensacola Bar the next night, found the Susque 
 hanna at the usual anchorage, and briefly stated to the commodore 
 my reasons for visiting him. 
 
 " Why, man alive," said Mervine, " I was just going to send for 
 you to come up and help me capture Ship Island. The enemy have 
 mounted six guns and are assuming a threatening attitude. I 
 think our two ships can clean them out." 
 
 "Yes, sir," I replied, "either one of them could do it ; but I 
 consider the capture of the Sumter of vastly more importance than 
 an old six-gun battery on a sand island that can do us no harm 
 or the Confederates any good. Here is Pensacola," I continued, 
 " that seems to me to have taken a very threatening attitude for a 
 long time. I wouldn t mind losing the Sumter if you would let me 
 accompany you in and drive Bragg out." 
 
 " But," said the commodore, " such a movement would draw the 
 fire on Fort Pickens, and that would never do, for the place is not 
 yet fully manned and fortified." 
 
IN SEARCH OF THE SUMTER. 37 
 
 I had left Pickens about three months before, and since that 
 time several schooners had arrived from the North loaded with 
 cannon and all sorts of ammunition. One of these vessels even went 
 inside the port to the main wharf and unloaded its warlike cargo 
 without molestation from the Confederate batteries. Bragg sent a 
 letter once to the commanding officer at Fort Pickens and in 
 formed him that he considered such proceedings improper, and that 
 he must land his guns on the outside. 
 
 The reply of the commanding officer was that it was very in 
 convenient to do that, as there was no wharf or crane outside, and 
 that the vessel would sail as soon as she had unloaded. 
 
 This explanation seems to have been entirely satisfactory to Gen 
 eral Bragg, and so this new method of carrying on hostilities was 
 persevered in to the end. Perhaps Bragg was waiting until the 
 fort was filled up, when he intended to invite the commandant to 
 hand it over to him. 
 
 Some months after this Bragg did send an expedition to Santa 
 Rosa Island and captured General Yogdes, some of Billy Wilson s 
 zouaves, and an old white horse ; and that, I believe, was the prin 
 cipal event of the campaign. 
 
 There was no doubt of old Commodore Mervine s bravery, but he 
 had, somehow or other, got it into his head that to make any move 
 ment on Pensacola would be to commit "an overt act." I man 
 aged, however, to get his permission to go in search of the Sumter, 
 and was off before he had a chance to change his mind. 
 
 This detention, however, at Pensacola caused me to lose the 
 prize. I wasted more than two days in going to Pensacola and back 
 again to Cape Antonio, besides using up coal. I arrived at Cien- 
 fuegos only sixteen hours after the Sumter had sailed ; had I found 
 her there, I should have taken her at all hazards. 
 
 I chased the vessel to St. Thomas. She left only a few hours 
 before I entered the port. I followed her to Curacoa, Maranham, 
 Parana in Brazil, and thence to the equator, where Semmes sank a 
 vessel within thirty miles of us. Had he burned her, we would 
 have seen the smoke and captured the Sumter. 
 
 I now steered for St. Thomas to get coal, sighted a supposed 
 Sumter just before dark, overhauled her rapidly, but lost her in the 
 gloom of night. After chasing the Sumter ten thousand miles I 
 returned in disgust to Key West, and thence went to New York, 
 the vessel all broken down, so that we had to proceed mostly under 
 sail. 
 
38 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I subsequently assisted in the capture of the forts at New Or 
 leans, and at that time, a year after the relief of Pickens, Pensa- 
 cola was still intact ! Fort Pickens was full of men and guns, 
 while Bragg and his army were waxing fat on the hog and hominy 
 sent to them from Mobile, and, although Bragg and the commander 
 of the fort wrote no more letters to each other, the entente cordiale 
 still existed, and both sides had plenty of time to study Jomini if 
 so disposed. 
 
 As to the nayy, it is said the several commanding officers 
 grounded on the beef-bones thrown overboard from their flag 
 ships, but this I do not believe. 
 
 There was certainly something in the air of Pensacola that af 
 fected the army and the navy, and even the Confederates seemed 
 loath to change the condition of affairs. If the war throughout the 
 country had only been carried on in this fashion, what a blessing it 
 would have been, how many lives would have been saved, and how 
 much hog and hominy would have been eaten ! 
 
 I think the fall of Pensacola is a piece of unwritten history. 
 There were so many important events occurring at the time that 
 its occupation was hardly noticed. The people of the country only 
 knew that an important place was once more in Union hands. 
 
 After the capture of New Orleans I was ordered by Flag Officer 
 Farragut to proceed to Ship Island, in Mississippi Sound, with all 
 the vessels composing the Mortar Flotilla, and await him there, but 
 in the mean time to undertake no expedition without orders. 
 Farragut said that he would join me in five days, when we would 
 sail into Mobile Bay and attack the forts. 
 
 This was different from the programme laid down by the Navy 
 Department, as Farragut was ordered, after capturing New Orleans, 
 to proceed up the Mississippi, capture Vicksburg, and, if possible, 
 open the river in its entire length. 
 
 Had Farragut attacked Mobile at that time he would have ob 
 tained an easy victory, and would not have acquired the renown he 
 subsequently gained in his capture of that place, which I think one 
 of the most daring feats of the war, requiring the greatest coolness 
 and skill against superior force. 
 
 I remained three weeks at Ship Island, hearing nothing from 
 Farragut, and began to think he had forgotten me. I afterward 
 learned that he was operating against Vicksburg. 
 
 My officers and men grew restless at our inaction, and one fine 
 morning, when the wind was fair, I made signal to the mortar 
 
PRACTICING ON FORT MORGAN. 39 
 
 schooners and steamers to get under way for Mobile, determined to 
 attack the forts. I forgot all about Farragut s orders. 
 
 "When we arrived within eight miles of the place the wind sud 
 denly chopped around ahead, with indications of a gale. I pushed 
 on with the seven steamers of the flotilla, signaling the mortar 
 schooners to beat up to the anchorage, which I supposed they could 
 do in two or three hours. 
 
 I found the steam frigate Colorado, Lieutenant-Commanding 
 Davis, off the bar, and, obtaining a pilot, proceeded inside to within 
 gunshot of Fort Morgan. The Morgan and Selma, two Confederate 
 gun-boats, were lying in the harbor. 
 
 We had some heavy rifled guns in the flotilla steamers and 
 several eleven-inch Dahlgrens, and I thought we might as well 
 practice a little on Fort Morgan until the mortar schooners came 
 up. 
 
 We opened fire, and had it all our own way. Our shot struck 
 the fort every time, knocking stones and bricks about in a lively 
 fashion. There was no reply, nor could we see any people moving 
 about the enemy s works. 
 
 TVe had fired some twenty shot and shell when it came on to 
 blow heavily. One of the enemy s gun-boats was seen to leave the 
 anchorage near the fort and start in the direction of Mobile, 
 crowded with people. I could not understand the movement, but 
 supposed the fort had no guns that would reach us, and the Con 
 federates were trying to draw us farther in. 
 
 The gale increased and I became uneasy about the mortar 
 schooners, and sent the steamers to get them safe into Ship Island 
 again. I remained at anchor in the Harriet Lane within gunshot 
 of the fort, thinking that perhaps in the morning one of the enemy s 
 gun-boats might offer me battle. 
 
 That night the wind blew so hard from the northward that 
 the Harriet Lane dragged out to sea and had for a time to ride out 
 the gale head-to. 
 
 Next morning at daylight a boat containing four deserters from 
 Fort Morgan went alongside the Colorado. They informed Lieu 
 tenant Davis that the fort was garrisoned partly with a Mobile fire- 
 company of seventy-five men ; that a good many of these men had 
 insisted on going up to the city in the gun-boat, leaving not more- 
 than one hundred and thirty remaining in the fort. This news 
 came too late. Davis could do nothing, as his ship could not cross 
 the bar. 
 
40 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 In the mean time I was heading the sea in a northeast gale and 
 slowly approaching Pensacola. Had it not been for the untoward 
 events of the day, Fort Morgan would have fallen into my hands 
 without a struggle, but it was some time afterward before I learned 
 all this. 
 
 We had worked along to within about twelve miles of Pensa 
 cola, when I was informed that large fires were burning at that 
 place, and that shells could be seen bursting in the air. 
 
 It seems that when the Confederates in Fort Morgan saw the 
 mortar flotilla approaching, they telegraphed to Pensacola, "Far- 
 ragut is coming to attack us with his whole force." 
 
 The Confederate commander at Pensacola knew that his posi 
 tion was untenable with Farragut s fleet so near, and he fully ex 
 pected that Farragut would pay him a visit as soon as he finished 
 with Fort Morgan ; so, in half an hour after receiving the news from 
 Mobile, the navy-yard, naval hospital, and all the other public build 
 ings were in a blaze, and by daylight next morning the Confeder 
 ate army which had lain inactive so long was in full retreat from 
 Pensacola. 
 
 The moment the flames appeared in the navy-yard, Fort Pick- 
 ens opened fire on the retreating foe with all the batteries, and it 
 was the shells from the fort and the burning navy-yard that we 
 saw at midnight from the deck of the Harriet Lane. 
 
 We put on as much steam as the gale would allow and forced 
 the vessel along bows under half the time toward the scene of 
 conflagration, and just before daylight reached the dock at Fort 
 Pickens, where I found that the commanding officer of the fort 
 had not a boat to send over to try and extinguish the flames. 
 After a year s hard labor in preparing Fort Pickens to resist 
 Bragg, it had never occurred to any one that the Confederates 
 might some day set fire to Uncle Sam s valuable property and de 
 camp for parts unknown. 
 
 I made a temporary ferry-boat of the Harriet Lane and landed 
 about four hundred soldiers at the navy-yard to try and put out the 
 fire, but it was too late ; the mischief had been accomplished, and 
 the Confederates had left nothing but desolation behind them. All 
 that was movable they carried off, but, as if in mockery, left the com 
 mandant s quarters standing for the next commandant to occupy. 
 
 The Confederates pretended that the shells from Fort Pickens 
 destroyed the navy-yard, and they probably did assist in its destruc 
 tion. The rebel batteries turned out to be mostly shams, as I had 
 
HOW WE WERE GREETED AT PENSACOLA. 41 
 
 suspected. A few old thirty-two pounders were mounted in con 
 spicuous positions, where they could do no harm, and many formi 
 dable-looking casemates had no guns in them. 
 
 When one looks back he can not but smile at the folly commit 
 ted at Pensacola on both the Union and Confederate sides. The 
 finale left on my mind the impression that the Confederate cabinet 
 also contained some old women. 
 
 Another amusing episode was to come. I offered to go with 
 
 General to Pensacola to receive the keys of the city from the 
 
 municipal authorities, thinking what a triumph it would be to 
 receive the surrender of this ancient burgh and figure in history in 
 connection with so glorious an event ! How the loyal people of the 
 North would rejoice over the capture of this stronghold, which had 
 defied for more than a year the combined efforts of our army and 
 navy I 
 
 As we approached the landing in the Harriet Lane my heart 
 palpitated, for I saw a crowd of Union people assembling to meet 
 us and to restore once more that loyal city to its allegiance. 
 
 But when we lauded, our pleasant anticipations were changed to 
 surprise at finding, instead of loyal citizens, a crowd of ragged ne 
 groes grinning from ear to ear and turning somersaults to testify 
 their delight. Amid all their squalor and ignorance shone out 
 a true affection for the old flag which they could never feel for 
 the new one that had been made and presented by the ladies of 
 Pensacola to General Bragg on his assuming command. The ne 
 groes kept their eyes on the flag flying at the peak of the Harriet 
 Lane, and shouted for Mr. Linkum s gun-boats until they were 
 hoarse. 
 
 We saw but one white man, but he was a host in himself, and 
 indemnified us for the absence of his fellows. 
 
 The gentleman in question was attired without regard to ex 
 pense. He wore a blue coat with brass buttons, a white vest, and 
 yellow nankeen trousers. His huge shirt-ruffle or, as the sailors 
 termed it, his head-sail stuck out a foot at least, while his shirt- 
 frills were fastened by a big diamond. His hat was nicely brushed, 
 and his boots shone as if a dozen darkies had exercised their skill 
 upon them. 
 
 He advanced toward us, hat in hand, and, bowing low, exclaimed : 
 "Welcome once more, my glorious old flag and my beloved fellow 
 Union-men. I feel now that I shall receive protection from the 
 laws of my country. I am Mr. B m, gentlemen, a leading 
 
42 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 citizen of Pensacola, who for the past year have dwelt beneath the 
 folds of an alien flag and who have been despoiled of my goods and 
 chattels worse than the Egyptians were of old. I welcome you to 
 this loyal city, where I hope the tramp of the rebel hosts will never 
 more be heard, and that we may never again be deprived of that 
 dear flag which has sheltered me from boyhood, and of which I 
 have dreamed every night since it was replaced by that meaning 
 less rag which no one could respect, much less revere. There are a 
 thousand, aye, ten thousand associations " 
 
 There is no knowing how long this eloquent gentleman would 
 have continued his patriotic harangue had not General inter 
 rupted the flow of his eloquence by inquiring why the municipal 
 authorities were not present to surrender the city. 
 
 "Ah!" replied Mr. B m, "the city is at your feet a 
 
 child that has been wronged, asking a mother s protection. When 
 Eome governed the world, it was only necessary to say I am a 
 Roman citizen to insure every consideration. Will not our great 
 Eepublic " 
 
 " Where are the Mayor and City Council ? " interrupted the 
 general. 
 
 "I am truly sorry to say, sir," replied Mr. B m, "that the 
 
 fleeing rebels have taken the Mayor s teams into their service to 
 carry their spoils to Mobile, and the City Council, poor fellows ! 
 were all pressed into the rebel army, and are now Heaven help 
 them ! shouldering a musket under a government they abhor, for 
 they are all, I assure you, sir, devoted to the Union. In the absence, 
 
 then, of municipal government," continued Mr. B m, "let me 
 
 extend to you the liberty of the city and welcome you to our once 
 hospitable but now deserted halls." 
 
 At this moment an old negro touched my elbow. "Massa 
 Capen," he said, " can t you gib an ole darkey a quarter ? I ain t 
 seen no Union silber fo mo dan a year." 
 
 I dropped back to give the old fellow a quarter. 
 
 "It ain t zactly because I want a quarter so bad, Massa Capen, 
 dat I spoke ter yer, but because I wants a chance ter tell yer about dat 
 
 Mr. B m. He s de biggest ole rebel in all dese parts. I hearn 
 
 him talk wen Gen ral Bragg come here, an he say mo about de new 
 flowery kingdom an glory halleluyah dan he done say to-day by 
 
 a jugful. Mrs. B m she done make de rebel flag what floated 
 
 over de heads of de soldiers, an she sent General Bragg a dozen 
 fresh eggs every mornin for he s breakfast, and I ll bet a water- 
 
THE PERSONIFICATION OF A UNION WOMAN. 43 
 
 million she ll tell you Union gemplimen dat she ain t seen nary a 
 egg since dem rebels come to dese parts and rohbed her hen-roost. 
 
 Don t mind what dat lady will say. Wust ob all, Mr. B m 
 
 done got fifty tousand dollars congealed in his cellar way down 
 under de foundation to keep de rebels from gobblin it, and to keep 
 you from knowin he had it. Dat s de kine ob Union man he is. I 
 bress de Lord," continued the old darkey, "dat Mr. Linkum s gun 
 boats is come ; but don t breave a word ob what dis nigga tole you. 
 If de rebs was to fine it out dey d bile dis ole man in de coppers." 
 
 " Don t be afraid," said I as I gave the old Unionist a half-dol 
 lar, which he tucked into his shoe and made off. 
 
 Mr. B m then invited us all to his house. The general 
 
 had his staff with him, consisting of seven officers, and I had with 
 me the captain of the Harriet Lane and his aid. 
 
 When we arrived at the house and were shown into the parlor 
 
 we were introduced to Mrs. B m, a stately lady, who smiled 
 
 pleasantly and received us most graciously. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said Mr. B m, "you see before you in Mrs. 
 
 B m the personification of a Union woman one who not merely 
 
 loves but adores our glorious old flag. She has undergone every 
 privation on account of her devotion to that banner under which 
 she was born. For years past she has owned twenty niggers, and 
 they have all been employed at the navy-yard at a dollar a day 
 each, thus giving her an income not exactly net of six thousand 
 dollars per annum. How could she help loving that dear old 
 flag ? She has borne like a heroine the insults heaped on that 
 flag by the enemies of our great Republic, knowing that the day 
 would come when, like the Phoenix, it would rise from its ashes, 
 every star in its glorious galaxy brighter and more beautiful than 
 ever. She succeeded in obtaining a small fragment of the flag which 
 was lowered by traitor hands when the navy-yard was surrendered 
 to unlawful authority (Mr. B. s son-in-law was one of those who 
 surrendered it), and she has preserved it to this time, when she can 
 joyfully bring it to the light of day. Bertha, where is that pre 
 cious relic ? " 
 
 Mrs. B m produced a piece of red and blue bunting very 
 
 much soiled. 
 
 "There," continued her husband, "there s loyalty for you ; she 
 has carried that relic in a bag on her arm ever since the fateful day 
 when the stars and stripes were trailed in the dust in the navy-yard. 
 Now, when the flag is again hoisted, she will reap her reward, and 
 
44 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 her faithful servants will once more be paid their dollar a day, and 
 she receive the income she has so well deserved hy her fidelity to 
 
 the sacred Union. And now, Mrs. B m," he continued, " can t 
 
 you manage to give these gentlemen some breakfast ? They must 
 be hungry after such early rising." 
 
 "I am very sorry, love," said Mrs. B., " that I can not provide 
 for so many, but I can take care of the general and the two navy 
 captains. You know we had but a small quantity of tea and coffee 
 left and a few pounds of sugar after the rebels rifled our house, 
 and I have saved it for this very occasion, which I knew would come 
 sooner or later." 
 
 "Thoughtful woman ! " exclaimed Mr. B m ; " what loyal 
 ty ! and to think she has denied herself and family at times when 
 we were starving ; but the joy of this occasion is her reward." 
 
 "But I am sorry, my dear," continued Mrs. B., "that there are 
 but two eggs in the house, and only one loaf of bread and a small 
 piece of butter." 
 
 "Ah, that is unfortunate," said her husband. "You see, Gen 
 eral, we used to have plenty of eggs, but our hens would not lay 
 under the rebel flag. Oh, sir, the suppressed loyalty in Pensacola 
 is most wonderful ; our cow has not given anything like the quan 
 tity of milk she once did under the old flag." 
 
 I thought this was not surprising, as Mrs. B. s supply of bran 
 and meal for the cow was doubtless limited since the old flag was 
 hauled down. 
 
 Mr. B m pondered a while, and Lieutenant-Commanding 
 
 Wainwright whispered to me, " Perhaps if they take the cow down 
 to the dock and let her look at the old flag her milk will come 
 down and we will get a good breakfast after all." 
 
 "Well," said B m, "I have arranged it for all. The gen 
 eral and captains will do us the honor to breakfast with us, and I 
 will have the other gentlemen shown to the hotel, which of yore 
 has entertained many a gallant Union officer, and will be most happy 
 to do so again. The proprietor is Union to the core, and no doubt 
 can supply all the gentlemen s wants. I will go with you and 
 introduce you myself," and with that he led the way, followed by 
 the hungry party, much disappointed at not getting breakfast 
 where they first stopped. 
 
 In the mean while the general, Wainwright, and myself were 
 
 entertained by Mrs. B m, who was very discreet in her replies 
 
 to our questions. "We could get nothing beyond the prices of pro- 
 
A BREAKFAST WITH MODEL UNIONISTS. 45 
 
 visions and the difficulty of procuring employment for the twenty 
 negroes from whom she derived her income. 
 
 Mr. B m soon returned, and we sat down to breakfast two 
 
 eggs, toast, radishes, tea, and coffee. 
 
 " This is glorious," said our host, "to sit once more under the 
 folds of the star-spangled banner. May our Federal Union be for 
 ever preserved from the wild fanatics who would pull it from the 
 proud pedestal on which it was reared by Washington, Adams, and 
 Jefferson ! Secession, gentlemen, can not hurt the Union. It is 
 but an incident in the life of a mighty nation like ours, a fungus 
 that clings to the great oak doing little injury to the monarch of 
 the forest." 
 
 "You had better drink your tea, Mr. B m," interrupted 
 
 his wife, "before it gets cold, and it will make you still more elo 
 quent," she said, with a grim smile. 
 
 Then the general broke in. " Secession, sir," said he, " is the 
 craziest scheme that was ever promulgated, and had General Jack 
 son been President he would have hung all the leaders in the move 
 ment to a lamp-post." 
 
 " It would have taken a strong lamp-post to hold them all," 
 said Mrs. B m, tartly. 
 
 "Oh, my dear," said her husband, "the general is only speak 
 ing figuratively." 
 
 " No," said the general, " I mean exactly what I say ; but," he 
 continued, " this unhappy war is nearly ended. The strength of the 
 Union is manifested in every quarter. We have whipped the rebels 
 at Donaldson, Fort Henry, Island No. 10, and Memphis ; we have 
 them on the run. The navy has been successful at Hatteras, Port 
 Royal, and New Orleans. That last affair broke the backbone of 
 the rebellion. Our little Monitor defeated their great Merrimac. 
 We have all the Southern ports blockaded, and not a traitor of 
 them all can escape from the country." 
 
 There is no knowing how long the general would have contin 
 ued in this strain if attention had not been drawn to Mrs. B m. 
 
 Her eyes gleamed like those of a tigress, her face was red with 
 anger, her lips were compressed, and the tea-pot which she held 
 trembled violently in her hand. 
 
 "I suppose you whipped us at Shiloh?" she hissed, looking 
 fiercely at the general ; " at Bull Run, too, didn t you ? The Con 
 gress and Cumberland sunk the Merrimac, didn t they ? You caught 
 Semmes, and he didn t destroy fifteen millions of your miserable 
 
46 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Yankee commerce ! You mounted a hundred guns on Fort Pickens 
 to batter down the old straw forts Bragg put up to frighten you 
 with ! We will march into Washington yet before we are done with 
 you, and we ll see who will hang at a lamp-post ! " 
 
 By this time the lady was so excited that she had risen from her 
 chair, tea-pot in hand, scattering its contents on all around. " Drat 
 you all ! " she exclaimed. " I don t care if I scald every one of you. 
 
 Here, Mr. B m, take the tea-pot and pour out. You are only 
 
 fit to wear petticoats. I leave you to entertain your Union friends. 
 I wish you gentlemen to understand that I am a Southern woman 
 and B m is a sham ! " 
 
 With that she flounced out of the room and was seen no more. 
 
 Mr. B m was stupefied, the general looked surprised, while I 
 
 laughed heartily. 
 
 " This episode makes this otherwise joyful occasion sad to me," 
 
 said B m. " My loyal wife has been taken with one of her 
 
 nervous attacks, and her mind has become unhinged through excess 
 of joy. The sight of our old flag floating over our lovely bay has been 
 too much for her, and her unsettled mind imagines that she is on 
 the Confederate side. Give her time, gentlemen, to take an ano 
 dyne, and she will be herself again. Heavens, what a mind she has ! " 
 
 But Mrs. B m returned no more, and we ate our break 
 fast in quiet. All the eloquence had departed from B m, and 
 
 his shirt-ruffle hung limp as if it had been dipped in water. 
 
 In a short time he went out, for the purpose, I suppose, of ap 
 peasing his better-half. High words were heard up-stairs, and, as he 
 re-entered the room, a shrill voice cried out, " I ll see you scalded 
 first!" 
 
 After breakfast we departed for the boat, Mr. B m accom 
 panying us and never ceasing to eulogize his loyal wife and the 
 dear old flag. At the landing my old negro friend again accosted 
 me. 
 
 " What I done tole you, massa, about dem B ms ? You 
 
 foun em out a sham ? No ? Well," he continued, " dat lady is a 
 
 screamer an no mistake, an* if she don t wallop Massa B m fo 
 
 sundown den dis ole nigga don t know nuffin." 
 
 B m was loyal to the last, and joined the negroes in their 
 
 cheers as our boat shoved off from the dock, and swung his hat as 
 long as we could see him. 
 
 Before the war was ended I met many such "Union people" as 
 the B- ms. 
 
THE DEFENSES OF NEW ORLEANS. 47 
 
 A few days after this I had all the mortar vessels at Pensacola, 
 so that their crews could get fresh provisions. By this time all the 
 people were Unionists except Mrs. B., and I think she would have 
 been also had the Government re-established the navy-yard and em 
 ployed her twenty negroes. 
 
 Five days later I received an order from Farragut to repair to 
 Vicksburg with the vessels under my command, and thus ended 
 my dream of capturing Mobile, which at that time would have been 
 an easy matter to accomplish. The Confederates afterward fortified 
 it strongly, planted torpedoes, and added to their defenses the for 
 midable ironclad Tennessee. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE ATTACK ON NEW ORLEANS SURRENDER OF THE FORTS 
 THE IRONCLAD LOUISIANA. 
 
 ONE of the most brilliant events of the civil war was the pas 
 sage of Farragut s fleet by the Forts Jackson and St. Philip, and 
 the consequent capture of New Orleans. It was altogether a naval 
 enterprise, for, although an army was sent out under Butler to hold 
 the city after its capture, that army had nothing whatever to do 
 with the preceding active operations. 
 
 Everything relating to the capture of New Orleans must always 
 be interesting. I do not propose to give a history of the passage of 
 the forts, but merely a short account of the surrender of the de 
 fenses of New Orleans. Eemarkable scenes were enacted there of 
 which, I believe, no one has yet written a full and accurate account. 
 
 I had in the flotilla under my command twenty-one mortar ves 
 sels and six steamers. The duty of the steamers was to look out 
 for the mortars and tow them from point to point. 
 
 On the night when it was planned to pass the forts, the steam 
 ers of my flotilla were ordered to take position opposite the water- 
 batteries of Fort Jackson and as close to them as possible, and open 
 fire with grape or canister and shrapnel while the fleet passed by. 
 
 This was done effectually, and by the time Captain Bailey, who 
 took the lead, had got abreast of the forts and the enemy opened 
 fire on him, we opened on Fort Jackson with the mortars and 
 twenty guns from five steamers. 
 
48 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 The steamers lay close in to the bank only about two hundred 
 yards distant from the works and, although the vessels hulls were 
 protected by the levees from the casemated pieces, yet the barbette- 
 guns opened rather lively. The first man killed in the fleet was 
 on board the Harriet Lane. 
 
 In fifteen minutes after the steamers opened fire on the seven 
 heavy guns of the center battery it was silenced and did no harm 
 to the passing fleet. In fact, only twenty shots struck the hulls of 
 the fleet on their port sides, which shows that the fire of the mortar 
 flotilla was very accurate. Farragut calls it " the mortar steamers 
 taking the forts in flank," which was a very good explanation of 
 the movement. 
 
 As the fleet passed by me up the river I could, while standing 
 on the bridge of the Harriet Lane, see every movement that was 
 made. The whole extent of the river for a mile above the forts 
 was as light as day, owing to the enemy igniting several fire-rafts, 
 which illuminated the fleet and forts as if in a diorama. 
 
 When the last vessel had passed by, Colonel Higgins, who com 
 manded Fort Jackson, exclaimed, " Shut up shop ; the old navy is 
 too much for us; good-by, New Orleans." He told his men tliey 
 might as well stop firing the few guns that could then be brought to 
 bear, and get under cover from the mortars. 
 
 I lay alongside of Fort Jackson fifteen minutes after Farragut 
 had passed up, throwing in a fire of grape and shrapnel, to which 
 there was no reply. 
 
 At daylight next morning I dropped down to the mortar 
 schooners to tell them to stop firing, as the work was done. I met 
 the sloop of war Portsmouth coming up in tow of a steamer. The 
 forts opened on her feebly, but did no damage. The soldiers had 
 lost heart, and, as I afterward learned, declined to be exposed use 
 lessly to a heavy fire from the mortars. 
 
 It had been a heavy fight for the mortar vessels and for the 
 poor fellows in the forts, who had borne for six days and nights the 
 heavy pelting on their casemates of nearly seventeen thousand 
 thirteen-inch shells, to say nothing of the fire of the gun-boats 
 detailed daily to cover the mortar vessels from the fire of the forts. 
 
 Everybody on both sides was tired out, and many dropped in 
 their tracks and went to sleep. As for myself, I had had scarcely 
 any sleep for seven days and nights. 
 
 After we had breakfasted and refreshed ourselves I sent Lieuten 
 ant-Commanding Guest to the forts with a flag of truce and a polite 
 
SURRENDER OF THE FORTS. 49 
 
 letter to the commanding officer, advising their surrender to me in 
 order to prevent the further effusion of blood an invitation which 
 he as politely declined, and said that he could do nothing until he 
 heard that Flag-Officer Farragut and his fleet had arrived at New 
 Orleans. I had, therefore, no alternative but to open again with the 
 mortars on Fort Jackson and make it as unpleasant as possible for 
 the Confederates ; but by four o clock all the mortar-shells were 
 exhausted, and the schooners being, now useless, I sent them down 
 to Pilot Town to fill up with ammunition and six of them to appear 
 in the rear of the forts, where they had few or no guns mounted. 
 
 What was the surprise of the commander of Fort Jackson when 
 he saw in thirty-six hours several mortar vessels anchored in his 
 rear and others in the distance approaching ! 
 
 The result was, the soldiers in the forts mutinied and insisted 
 on a surrender, so that, however unwilling, the officers were forced 
 to comply. 
 
 That night General Duncan sent an officer in a boat to say to me 
 that he would surrender the forts next morning under honorable 
 conditions, which were granted ; for if ever there was a brave de 
 fense, it was that of Fort Jackson, which got all the hammering 
 from the mortars and most of the fire from the ships. 
 
 Here was to be a meeting of old shipmates who were serving on 
 either side, and who, after messing together many years under the 
 old flag, had been trying for the past week to inflict every sort of 
 injury on one another that ingenuity could devise. 
 
 There was an actual desire on the part of some to meet their 
 old acquaintances and talk over the events of the siege, for the sur 
 render was to include all the naval officers and whatever vessels yet 
 remained afloat. This had been stipulated by Lieutenant-Com 
 manding Guest when he called on General Duncan about the sur 
 render. 
 
 There was quite a large number of naval officers employed in 
 the Confederate river flotilla, in the rams, and the ironclad Louisi 
 ana, and a corresponding number on our side. 
 
 I was determined that the Southerners should see no diminu 
 tion of discipline in the old navy, and that when we went to take 
 possession of the forts we would go dressed up for muster, or, as 
 they say in the navy nowadays, dress parade. 
 
 On the morning of the surrender, signal was made for the crews 
 of our vessels to dress in white mustering suits, and the officers in 
 frock-coats and white trousers, everything looking as neat as pos- 
 
 4 
 
50 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 sible. I was determined that the Southern fellows of the old navy 
 should see that we had not gone to the devil, but still wore clean 
 shirts under the most adverse circumstances ; that we were not 
 only true to our flag, but to our old traditional neatness, even after 
 a hard-fought battle of a week s duration. 
 
 Flag-Officer Farragut, after passing the forts, had gone on up the 
 river to New Orleans, carrying everything before him and scatter 
 ing the troops in the defenses along the river like sheep ; but he 
 had left behind him some rather ugly customers, among them 
 the Louisiana, a huge ironclad mounting sixteen nine-inch 
 guns, four or five of them rifled, and impervious to any shot 
 we had. 
 
 Fortunately, her machinery was out of order, and she could not 
 move without the aid of tow-boats ; but had her officers possessed 
 sufficient energy they might have captured or destroyed everything 
 on the river after our fleet passed on up. 
 
 Farragut showed his confidence in the mortar flotilla by leaving 
 us to look after the ironclad and her three consorts, and perhaps, 
 had the Louisiana come down and attacked us, we might have 
 managed to dispose of her ? 
 
 Our little squadron of steamers now comprised nine vessels 
 three of them gun-boats that had failed to pass the forts with the 
 fleet, not from want of gallantry, but from various causes. Fragile 
 as our little vessels were, they made an imposing sight as they 
 steamed up to the fort in line and anchored en echelon across the 
 river. 
 
 The huge Louisiana was secured to the bank about four hundred 
 yards above, and it could be seen that her iron sides had not even 
 been indented by the shot poured into her as the vessels of the 
 squadron passed by. I thought what an addition she would be 
 to our force, for with her guns we could batter down any forts the 
 enemy might erect along the river. In my mind s eye I could al 
 ready see the fortifications at Vicksburg succumbing to this power 
 ful vessel, and I thanked my stars that she had not been used as she 
 might have been and driven us all out of the river. 
 
 There she lay, a huge leviathan among minnows, her flag flying 
 and three gun-boats near by. I was not certain but what some 
 act of treachery would be attempted before the capitulation of the 
 forts was accomplished. 
 
 "When our vessels were all at anchor, ready to receive the officers 
 of the forts, a barge was sent on shore for them, while the officers 
 
THE CAPITULATION. 51 
 
 and crews of the steamers were kept at quarters, ready for any emer 
 gency. 
 
 When the Confederate officers came down to embark, Colonel 
 Higgins, formerly a lieutenant in the navy, who commanded Fort 
 Jackson, paused for a moment and said to the commanding officer, 
 General Duncan : "Look at the old navy ! I feel proud when I see 
 them. There are no half-breeds there ; they are the Simon-pure. 
 With fellows like those to back us, Farragut would never have 
 passed the forts." What he meant will appear directly. 
 
 The Confederate officers were received at the gangway by myself 
 and officers, and, when they stepped on board, one would have sup 
 posed they were foreigners paying us a visit of ceremony. They 
 were fine-looking men in the prime of life, and showed no depres 
 sion. Their bearing was manly without haughtiness. 
 
 Although I knew some of them, I did not think it necessary to 
 recognize them at the moment beyond a bow when General Duncan 
 mentioned each one s name. I then invited them to the cabin, 
 where the terms of capitulation were lying on the table. The Con 
 federate officers were all seated on the port side, while I took the 
 head of the table and my officers the starboard side. Colonel Hig 
 gins could not help saying, as he descended to the cabin, " Captain, 
 this is a man-of-war and no mistake." 
 
 I felt much disposed to recognize Higgins, but I buried all my 
 old friendships with naval seceders when they deserted their flag. 
 In my opinion, no naval officer should have been influenced by 
 State-rights sophistry to forsake the flag under which he was 
 born, and which had been to him a source of honor and emolu 
 ment. 
 
 If he could not give the Government active support, he should 
 at least have declined to raise his hand against it. 
 
 But, after all, these are matters of conscience, and no man can 
 tell how far he may be carried in a popular excitement until he is 
 tried. ^ 
 
 I only know that I would never join a State, because I happened 
 to be born within its limits, in opposition to the legally constituted 
 Government of my country. 
 
 Therefore, when I first met old friends whom I thought had 
 wandered from their plain duty, I could not gush over them, 
 though careful to show them as prisoners every kindness. 
 
 I felt as Franklin did, who, on receiving a letter from an old 
 friend in England during the Revolution, answered : " We were 
 
52 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 once friends ; we are so no longer. You are an enemy to my coun 
 try ; you are mine also." 
 
 At the same time I could not help admiring in their misfor 
 tunes those brave men who were about to sign a capitulation which 
 would deprive them of the forts they had so confidently and gal 
 lantly defended, and who, when all was over and no more could be 
 done, gave up without brag or bluster, and made no excuses for their 
 failure. 
 
 I can not help admiring bravery even in a bad cause, and when 
 I went over the works and saw to what a dreadful hammering the 
 Confederates had been subjected, I thought it not without honor 
 for any one to have fought at their side. 
 
 I laid before the officers the papers of capitulation. "General 
 Duncan," I said, "read them carefully." 
 
 "I will," he replied, "but I am confident you would offer us 
 no terms that it would be dishonorable to accept ; one brave man 
 would not wish to humiliate another." 
 
 I acknowledged the compliment so delicately expressed. 
 
 "I am satisfied with the terms," said the general, " and speak 
 for the rest of the officers." 
 
 The terms were that officers and men should sign a parole not 
 to serve against the United States Government until regularly ex 
 changed, the officers to retain their side-arms and be transported 
 to New Orleans in a United States vessel. 
 
 The Confederates were to turn over to the United States all 
 ordnance, ammunition, stores, and small arms, as far as practicable, 
 uninjured a stipulation which was religiously observed. 
 
 I said to General Duncan, " Where is the commanding naval 
 officer and his staff ? I shall include the vessels in the surrender ; 
 are they not under your command ? " 
 
 "Yes," replied the general, "at least they are supposed to be, 
 but I know nothing about them. The naval officers were duly 
 notified what was to take place. They failed in their support; 
 otherwise matters might have turned out differently." 
 
 This was rather perplexing, and I was inclined to postpone the 
 capitulation until the commanding naval officer could be sent for, 
 since under present circumstances the Confederate navy might open 
 fire upon us, on the ground that they were not a party to the agree 
 ment drawn up. 
 
 We were relieved from this difficulty, however, by Lieutenant- 
 Commanding Wainwright coming into the cabin and reporting that 
 
THE LOUISIANA IS FIRED AND EXPLODES. 53 
 
 the officers and crew of the Louisiana were leaving her in a gun 
 boat, after setting fire to the ironclad ; that the latter s fasts had 
 been cut, and she was drifting rapidly down upon the line of 
 steamers. 
 
 "This is sharp practice, gentlemen," I said, "and some of us 
 will perhaps be blown up ; but I know what to do, for it is now 
 plain sailing. If you can stand what is coming, we can, but I 
 will make it lively for those people if any one in the flotilla is 
 injured." 
 
 "We do not consider ourselves responsible for anything the 
 naval officers may do," said Duncan. " Their course has been a re 
 markable one throughout the bombardment. They have acknowl 
 edged no authority except their own, and, although I am com 
 manding officer here, I have no power to coerce them." 
 
 I told Lieutenant-Commanding Wainwright to hail the steamer 
 next him and tell her captain to pass the word to the others to 
 veer out all their riding chain to the bitter end, and stand by to 
 sheer clear of the burning ironclad as she drifted down. I then 
 sat down to the table and said, "Gentlemen, we will proceed to 
 sign the capitulation." 
 
 I handed the paper to General Duncan, and looked at the Con 
 federate officers to see how they would behave under the circum 
 stances of a great ironclad dropping down on them all in flames, 
 with twenty thousand pounds of powder in her magazine. For 
 myself, I hoped the fire would not reach the powder until the ship 
 had drifted some distance below us. My greatest fear was that she 
 would run foul of some of the steamers. 
 
 While I was thinking all this over the officers were sitting as 
 coolly as if at tea-table among their friends. 
 
 Just then there was a stir on deck, a kind of swaying of the 
 vessel to and fro, a rumbling in the air, then an explosion which 
 seemed to shake the heavens. The Harriet Lane was thrown two 
 streaks over, and everything in the cabin was jostled from side 
 to side, but not a man left his seat or showed any intention of do 
 ing so. 
 
 I was glad that I had signed before the explosion took place, as 
 I would not have liked my autograph to look shaky. 
 
 When Lieutenant-Commanding Wainwright came back to the 
 cabin he reported that the Louisiana had blown up about a hun 
 dred yards above the Owasco, that no one was hurt, and that no 
 vessel had left her anchorage. 
 
54: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I told the Confederate officers that I had no doubt the ironclad 
 had been prepared to blow up right in our midst, for the purpose 
 of destroying us all, to which the reply was, "We are not re 
 sponsible." 
 
 The Confederate officers soon after went on shore, hauled down 
 their flag, took an inventory of all property remaining in the forts, 
 mustered their men, and prepared to depart from what they had 
 once deemed impregnable works. 
 
 As soon as they left the Harriet Lane the signal was run up, 
 " Prepare for action ! " and I steamed toward the rebel gun-boats, 
 which were fastened to the shore above, with all their flags flying. 
 A rifle-shot was fired at Commander Mitchell s flag-staff, and all 
 their flags were at once lowered. 
 
 Thus in the end the Confederate navy had to submit to force, 
 when they could have gracefully surrendered and had all the bene 
 fits enjoyed by the army. 
 
 I was so indignant at having the ironclad Louisiana thus slip 
 through my fingers that I could scarcely refrain from running the 
 Confederate flag-ship down and sinking her. The ironclad would 
 have been a great help to Farragut in his operations on the upper 
 Mississippi, and would have been a match for the great ram Ten 
 nessee, which was at that time being prepared at Mobile. 
 
 Look at the destruction of the vessel by Mitchell s orders in 
 any light you may, it was unfair. That was my opinion at the 
 time, and I have never seen any reason to change it. 
 
 When I came alongside the Confederate vessels, I found them 
 huddled together and crowded with men. I hailed and asked them 
 if they had surrendered. They answered in the affirmative, and I 
 sent Lieutenant Wainwright to take possession. He was directed 
 to receive only an unconditional surrender, as I would grant no 
 terms. 
 
 Commander Mitchell, the senior naval officer, met Wainwright 
 at the gangway and extended his hand. "No," said Wainwright, 
 "you are a prisoner." 
 
 " Am I not to have the same terms as the army officers ? " in 
 quired Mitchell. 
 
 "No," replied Wainwright, "you must surrender uncondition 
 ally, and be taken North as a close prisoner. Deliver up your sword." 
 
 As Mitchell had no sword, he was obliged to borrow one for the 
 occasion from an officer who stood near by. 
 
 I kept my word and held no terms with the naval officers. I 
 
THE LOUISIANA. 55 
 
 felt sorry for them, for among their number were some fine young 
 fellows whom I had no reason, to think were aiders and abettors in 
 a scheme to destroy a vessel which rightfully belonged to us, for, 
 although not actually surrendered, she was virtually so, being in 
 cluded in the terms of capitulation. 
 
 There was nothing to justify the destruction of the Louisiana, 
 and I was much disappointed at seeing those who had once belonged 
 to the United States navy excelled in matters of honor and pro 
 priety by the officers of another corps. 
 
 Suffice it to say that the Confederate naval officers were all sent 
 North by Farragut as close prisoners. They made statements, how 
 ever, which in the end procured their release ; but while the au 
 thorities were satisfied, I never was. I could never get over the 
 fact that, when I went below with the Confederate army officers to 
 sign the capitulation, the Louisiana was lying at the river-bank, in 
 all her strength and grandeur, all ready, as I supposed, to be turned 
 over to me. When I came on deck again the vessel had disappeared. 
 The disappointment was great, and no doubt those Confederates 
 chuckled with delight over it. 
 
 However, it didn t really make any difference in the final result, 
 and furnished an interesting incident of the war, although the 
 " incident " came near closing the career of all those present at the 
 capitulation of Forts Jackson and St. Philip. 
 
 What else relates to this matter will be found in the official re 
 ports of the day, as it is not my intention to write a history of the 
 war, but merely to mention such incidents as I think will interest 
 the general reader. 
 
 It is astonishing that the Confederates should have had at the 
 defenses of New Orleans such a powerful vessel as the Louisiana, 
 while Farragut had nothing but fragile wooden vessels, that could 
 be pierced by any ordinary smooth-bore gun ; and it was only owing 
 to the circumstance that the Louisiana disabled her machinery while 
 coming down the river, and could only move about in tow of an 
 other vessel, that a disaster did not befall the Union fleet. 
 
 As the fleet passed up the river the Louisiana occupied a promi 
 nent position tied to the river-bank, where the light from the fire- 
 rafts showed her as plainly as if it had been daylight. 
 
 Every vessel in passing poured in her shot at close quarters, 
 doing the Louisiana no more harm than so many popguns. It is 
 fair to presume that with her powerful battery she inflicted some of 
 the damage done to the squadron. It can be easily imagined what 
 
56 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 terrible havoc such a vessel would have made among a lot of 
 wooden vessels had her motive power been in good order. The 
 ships scattered about the river could have offered no effectual re 
 sistance to her without firing into each other. 
 
 How fortunate, then, it was that Flag-Officer Farragut advanced 
 up the river the night he did, when the ironclad was tied up to the 
 bank and could not use her guns effectively ! 
 
 Only one projectile did any harm to the Louisiana. It was either 
 an eleven-inch or a mortar shell that knocked off part of a light 
 gallery in which riflemen were stationed. Her commanding officer 
 was mortally wounded, and a few of her men were disabled. 
 
 How is it, I would ask, that such a vessel could be built in New 
 Orleans with the comparatively meager resources of the Confeder 
 ates ? The Merrimac built at Norfolk, two heavier ships than either 
 the Merrimac or Louisiana building at New Orleans, four heavy 
 ironclads building up the Yazoo Eiver, and the Tennessee building 
 at Mobile, while the most in this direction that the North had 
 accomplished was the construction of the little Monitor, designed 
 by Ericsson, which was derided while building, was looked upon 
 as a doubtful experiment, and finally saved the honor of the 
 nation. 
 
 Where was our boasted energy when we could not build two or 
 three ironclads while the Confederates were building eight ? 
 
 "With our resources we should, in the time from the breaking out 
 of the Rebellion to the expedition against New Orleans, have been 
 able to supply Farragut with half a dozen heavy ironclads. It was 
 fortunate indeed for Farragut that the Louisiana was not in good 
 working order, for, although there was no end of skill and bravery 
 shown by our gallant commander, his wooden ships were but fragile 
 things to operate against heavy forts on the banks of a swift-run 
 ning river, and against an impregnable ironclad, besides a dozen 
 gun-boats throwing in shells, a formidable ram that was plunging 
 about in every direction and rending the sides of the heaviest ves 
 sels, and packs of fire-rafts scorching the very sides of the ships and 
 causing, almost inextricable difficulties. 
 
 It was a time to try men s souls, and the fact that almost every 
 ship got by the forts is a proof that the commanding officers knew 
 their business, and performed their duty with the utmost coolness. 
 
 Farragut was justly lauded for this remarkable and glorious 
 victory, but neither the Government nor the people ever gave him 
 half the credit he deserved. An English officer who had achieved 
 
JOHN ERICSSON. 57 
 
 so much would have been loaded by his government with no end 
 of rewards. 
 
 The capture of New Orleans broke up the principal stronghold 
 of the Confederacy. It virtually gave us control of the Mississippi 
 River, and was really the insertion of the wedge which finally split 
 the backbone of the Eebellion. When the Mississippi was opened in 
 all its length, the contest was virtually settled. 
 
 I know all the difficulties with which Farragut had to contend 
 difficulties greater than ever beset British admirals in their most 
 famous battles ; difficulties, in fact, that many of them would have 
 thought insurmountable. The rank of rear-admiral, and finally 
 that of admiral, when he was broken in health, was all the reward 
 he ever received, and his rank of admiral carried with it no authori 
 ty or consequence to make him feel he was of that importance to 
 his Government which his services merited. 
 
 It is only in the present year (1884) that the survivors of the 
 battle of New Orleans received the final share of prize-money gained 
 by them in 1862. 
 
 The great merit in giving rewards is to give them promptly ; it 
 can not be considered generous when they are doled out too care 
 fully. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 ERICSSON AND THE MONITOR. AN INTERVIEW WITH THE GREAT 
 
 ENGINEER. 
 
 GREAT ideas lie dormant in the minds of men until some im 
 portant event occurs to bring them to light, as the sun causes the 
 seed to germinate. 
 
 Newton, although he had certain theories in his mind in rela 
 tion to the forces which govern the motions of the heavenly bodies, 
 never fully comprehended the matter until he saw an apple fall from 
 a tree. By so trifling an occurrence as that the philosopher at once 
 comprehended the principle of gravitation. 
 
 So it was with John Ericsson, the distinguished inventor, who, 
 although he had stowed away"m his mind certain theories which 
 were to radically change the system of naval warfare, never had an 
 opportunity to put them into practice until a revolution took place 
 
58 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 in the country of his adoption, and he saw a chance of making the 
 great talents God had given him useful to the Union cause. 
 
 Had Ericsson been listened to on the first breaking out of the 
 war, and his plans adopted, the United States Government would 
 in one year not only have been able to take possession of all the 
 Southern ports, but to have bid defiance even to the great fleets of 
 England and France in case either nation felt disposed to meddle 
 in our affairs. 
 
 But who was going to believe that "an iron pot" would float, 
 even if empty, much less when loaded down with guns, ammuni 
 tion, machinery, provisions, and men ? Mr. John Lenthall, the 
 oldest and ablest constructor in the navy, scouted the idea. "How 
 is the Monitor to ride the sea with all that weight in her ? " he in 
 quired. 
 
 "The sea shall ride over her," replied Ericsson, "and she will 
 live in it like a duck." 
 
 " The man is crazy ! " said Lenthall, and he turned his atten 
 tion to the model of a wooden double-ender he was about to con 
 struct one of those remarkable vessels of which President Lincoln 
 said, " I have often heard of a vessel with two bows, but I never 
 before saw one with two sterns." 
 
 Mr. Lenthall was a man of great ability, but he had been too 
 many years engaged in modeling sloops of war and frigates, and was 
 of too cautious and conservative a temper to be diverted from his 
 course by what he considered visionary ideas. He had hardly pa 
 tience to examine the plans or calculations on which depended the 
 efficiency of " Ericsson s iron pot," as he called it. 
 
 Had he taken hold of the subject with enthusiasm, his mind 
 would have grasped the situation, and the Monitor would have been 
 at Hampton Roads months before she actually arrived there, and a 
 great catastrophe would have been averted. 
 
 As it was, only one person in the Navy Department believed in 
 Ericsson s plans from the first, and that was Commodore Joseph 
 Smith, a plain, practical man, who thought he saw in the invention 
 what was worthy of encouragement. 
 
 At length it was agreed that Ericsson should build, at his own 
 expense and at a private ship-yard, an iron-turreted vessel, which 
 the Government would accept, provided it fulfilled in all respects 
 the promise of the inventor. 
 
 Had the extensive iron-works and machinery at the New York 
 navy-yard been put in operation, the Government could have built 
 
A VISIT TO ERICSSON. 59 
 
 in the same time half a dozen vessels of the Monitor pattern, and 
 of much greater power, which would have assured us success all 
 along the coast and made us infinitely stronger abroad. 
 
 As soon as the success of Ericsson s Monitor was assured, the 
 Government proceeded to follow out the idea, and the Monadnock 
 class were then constructed on the plans of Chief Constructor Len- 
 thall, who, with the means at his disposal, was able to turn out what 
 were then the most powerful vessels in the world. 
 
 While I was fitting out the mortar flotilla, " Ericsson s iron pot " 
 was approaching completion, and I received orders from the Navy 
 Department to make a critical examination of the vessel and report 
 my opinion of her capabilities. After this duty was accomplished 
 I was ordered to proceed to Mystic, Conn., and examine the Ga 
 lena, a wooden vessel sheathed with iron plates, building there under 
 the supervision of Commodore Joseph Smith. 
 
 Arriving at New York, I called on Mr. Ericsson and showed him 
 my orders. He read them, looked at me attentively, and said : 
 "Well, you are no doubt a great mathematician, and know all 
 about the calculations which enter into the construction of my ves 
 sel. You will have many papers to examine ; help yourself, and 
 take what you like best." 
 
 " I am no great mathematician," I replied, "but I am a practical 
 man, and think I can ascertain whether or not the Monitor will do 
 what is promised for her." 
 
 "Ah, yes ! " exclaimed Ericsson, "a practical man ! Well, I ve 
 had a dozen of those fellows here already, and they went away as 
 wise as they came. I don t want practical men sent here, sir. I 
 want men who understand the higher mathematics that are used 
 in the construction of my vessel men who can work out the dis 
 placements, horse-power, impregnability, endurance at sea in a gale, 
 capacity to stow men, the motion of the vessel according to the 
 waves, her stability as a platform for guns, her speed, actual weight 
 in short, everything pertaining to the subject. Now, young man, 
 if you can t fathom these things you had better go back where you 
 came from. If the department wants to understand the principles 
 of my vessel, they should send a mathematician." 
 
 " Well," said I, as the inventor paused to take breath, " although 
 I am not strictly what you would call a mathematician, I know the 
 rule of three, and that twice two are four." 
 
 Ericsson looked hard at me, his hair bristled up, and the mus 
 cles of his brawny arms seemed to swell as if in expectation of 
 
60 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 having to eject me from the room. "Well!" he exclaimed, "I 
 never in all my life met with such assurance as this. Here the 
 Government sends me an officer who knows only the rule of three 
 and that twice two are four, and I have used the calculus and all 
 the higher mathematics in making my calculations. My God ! do 
 they take me for a fool ? " 
 
 "But," said I, apologetically, "I know a little of simple equa 
 tions. Won t that be sufficient to make me understand this ma 
 chine of yours ? " 
 
 " Worse and worse ! " exclaimed the inventor. This beats the 
 devil ; it would be better if you knew nothing. Father in heaven, 
 here s a man who tells me he knows a little of simple equations, and 
 they send him to examine John Ericsson ! " 
 
 I was greatly amused with this remarkable man, and entirely 
 forgave his peculiarities. "Well, Mr. Ericsson," I said, "you will 
 have to make the best of a bad bargain, and get along with me 
 as well as you possibly can. I am perfectly willing to receive in 
 struction from you." 
 
 " Ah, ha ! " he exclaimed, " that s it, is it ? and so you think me 
 a school-master to teach naval officers what I know ? I m afraid 
 you re too bad a bargain for me ; you must expect no instruction 
 here. Take what you like best from my shelves, but you can t have 
 my brains." 
 
 " Well, then," I said, " show me your plans in order, and, if 
 you won t explain them, let me see what I can make of them." 
 
 "Ah, young man !" said Ericsson, "with your limited knowl 
 edge of simple equations you will run aground in a very short time. 
 Look at this drawing and tell me what it represents." 
 
 "It looks to me like a coffee-mill," I answered. 
 
 Ericsson jumped from his chair with astonishment in his eye. 
 " On my word of honor, young man, you are vexing, and I am a fool 
 to waste my time on you. That is the machinery that works my 
 turn-table for the turret. I have spent many sleepless nights over 
 it, and now a man who only knows a little of simple equations tells 
 me it s a coffee-mill ! Now what do you think of that ?" continued 
 Mr. Ericsson, handing me a small wooden model; "that s my iron 
 pot, as you navy people call it." 
 
 I regarded the model with a critical eye, holding it upside down. 
 " This," I remarked, " is evidently the casemate " passing my hand 
 over the bottom "and this " pointing to the turret " is undoubt 
 edly where you carry the engine." 
 
EXAMINING THE MONITOR. 61 
 
 "0 Heavens!" exclaimed Ericsson; "well! well! never did 
 I see such a But never mind ; you will learn by and by the world 
 was not made in a day." 
 
 So we went on till at length I informed Mr. Ericsson that I 
 thought I understood all about his "iron pot." 
 
 He was not in a pleasant humor, evidently regarding me as an 
 emissary sent by the department to try and bring him to grief. As 
 he did not seem to be in a communicative frame of mind, I took a 
 malicious pleasure in worrying him. 
 
 After learning all I could possibly from the drawings and plans 
 of the Monitor, I proposed to the inventor to go and examine the 
 Simon-pure article, and we crossed the ferry to Greenpoint, where, 
 if I remember rightly, the vessel was building. 
 
 Taking off my coat, I penetrated to the innermost recesses of the 
 Monitor, followed by Mr. Ericsson, who more than once inquired 
 if my simple equations enabled me to comprehend the mysteries. 
 
 " Wait till I am done with you," I said ; "then the laugh will 
 be on you, and you ll see what my simple equations amount to." 
 
 "No doubt ! no doubt !" he replied, "but it will take a big 
 book to hold all you don t know when you get through." 
 
 At last, after an hour spent in examining the Vessel, I emerged 
 from the hold, followed by the inventor, who looked displeased 
 enough. "Now, sir," I said, "I know all about your machine." 
 
 " Yes," he answered, sneeringly, " and you know twice two are 
 four, and a little of simple equations." 
 
 "Now, Mr. Ericsson," I said, "I have borne a good deal from 
 you to-day ; you have mocked at my authority and have failed to 
 treat me with the sweetness I had a right to expect. I am about to 
 have satisfaction, for on my report depends whether or not your 
 vessel is accepted by the department, so I will tell you in plain 
 terms what I think of your iron pot. " 
 
 " Say what you please," exclaimed Ericsson, glaring at me like 
 a tiger ready to spring ; " nobody will mind what you say ! " 
 
 "Well, sir," I continued, "I have looked into the whole thing 
 from A to Izzard, and " gazing steadily at the inventor, not with 
 out apprehensions that he might seize me in his muscular arms and 
 squeeze the breath out of my body "I will say this to the Govern 
 ment in writing, too, so that there can be no mistake." 
 
 "Go on, sir, go on !" said Ericsson ; "you will run on a rock 
 directly." 
 
 "Well, then," I continued, "I will say that Mr. Ericsson has 
 
62 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 constructed a vessel a very little iron vessel which, in the opinion 
 of our best naval architect, is in violation of well-known principles, 
 and will sink the moment she touches the water." 
 
 " Oh," said Ericsson, " he s a fool ! " 
 
 "But," I continued, "I shall say, also, that Mr. Ericsson has 
 constructed the most remarkable vessel the world has ever seen one 
 that, if properly handled, can destroy any ship now afloat, and whip 
 a dozen wooden ships together if they were where they could not 
 manoeuvre so as to run her down." 
 
 Ericsson regarded me in astonishment, then seized my hand 
 and almost shook my arm off. "My God !" he exclaimed, "and 
 all this time I took you for a d d fool, and you are not a d d fool 
 after all!" 
 
 I laughed heartily, as did Ericsson, and we have been the best of 
 friends ever since. 
 
 I telegraphed at once to the Navy Department, "Mr. Erics 
 son s vessel is the best fighting machine ever invented, and can 
 destroy any ship of war afloat." 
 
 After examining the Galena, I telegraphed, "I am not satisfied 
 with the vessel ; she is too vulnerable." 
 
 On my return to Washington I met a high official of the navy, 
 who said to me : " We received your highfalutin telegram about 
 the Ericsson vessel. Why, man, Lenthall says she will sink as soon 
 as she is launched. He has made a calculation, and finds she will 
 not bear her iron, much less her guns and stores." 
 
 Both Fox and Lenthall soon had reason to change their opinions 
 on this subject ; both became strong advocates of Ericsson s system, 
 and in a short time a number of much larger vessels of a similar 
 type with the Monitor were commenced, but were not finished in 
 time to be of use in the most critical period of the civil war, when 
 we came near meeting with serious reverses owing to the great 
 energy displayed by the Confederates in improvising heavy iron 
 clads. 
 
 To Ericsson belongs the credit of devising the Monitor class of 
 vessels, which gave us a cheap and rapid mode of building a navy 
 suitable to our wants at the time. Through his genius we were 
 enabled to bid defiance to the maritime powers which seemed dis 
 posed to meddle with our affairs, and it was owing to him that at 
 the end of the civil war we were in a condition to prevent any hos 
 tile navy from entering our ports. 
 
 Ericsson may be said to have at one blow destroyed all the 
 
NEW ORLEANS. 63 
 
 squadrons of Europe, for after the engagement between the Moni 
 tor and the Merrimac it was plainly to be seen that the old- 
 fashioned wooden vessels were useless for war purposes, although 
 we have held on to our old rattle-traps until we are a by-word 
 among the nations a laughing-stock even to the Chinese ! 
 
 At the age of eighty-four, Ericsson is now a hale, hearty man, 
 with a mind as bright as it was thirty years ago. 
 
 The United States owe him a debt they never have repaid and 
 never can repay. 
 
 His latest invention is a torpedo which in case of war will bring 
 the name of Ericsson again before our people and remind them of 
 the man who, in the days of our greatest trial, placed us in a posi 
 tion to bid defiance to foreign and domestic enemies. 
 
 Few nations have had so great an inventive genius as Ericsson 
 to assist them with his talents in time of war, and he has also in 
 time of peace produced valuable inventions which have added to 
 his reputation and to the prosperity of the country. 
 
 By breaking up the great wooden navies of Europe, Ericsson 
 helped to place us more on an equality with them as a naval power, 
 and the distance is not so, great between us but that we may hope 
 to overtake them when the people of this country demand a navy 
 commensurate with our national importance, and when the exigen 
 cies of politics can no longer prevent proper measures being taken 
 for the defense of the nation, which should at all times be in a po 
 sition to protect its citizens at home and abroad. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 PLANS FOE THE CAPTURE OF NEW ORLEANS. CONDUCT OF THE 
 PEOPLE ON OUR TAKING POSSESSION OF THE CITY. GENERAL 
 BUTLER S ADMINISTRATION. 
 
 WHILE I was at the entrance to the southwest pass of the Mis 
 sissippi, I had ample opportunity to find out much that was going 
 on at the forts and in the city of New Orleans. 
 
 Upon reaching home in the Powhatan, I proceeded to Washing 
 ton, and found everything at the Navy Department as calm and 
 quiet as if we had nothing to do but blockade the Southern ports. 
 
64 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I could not obtain an interview with the Secretary of the Navy, 
 and soon found that I was out of favor since I ran off with the 
 Powhatan to carry out Mr. Seward s pet scheme of saving Fort 
 Pickens. Assistant Secretary Fox was not communicative ; Faxon 
 eyed me askance ; Wise was jocose, but knew nothing ; old Commo 
 dore Joe Smith said, " Well, you didn t run away after all !" etc. ; 
 and I wandered about like a cat in a strange garret. 
 
 Presently I encountered Senators Hale and Grimes, standing 
 near the door of the Secretary s room. They greeted me warmly, 
 made inquiries about my cruise, and when I told them that I had 
 come to lay a proposition for the capture of New Orleans before 
 the Secretary of the Navy, they became very much interested in the 
 project. 
 
 I explained to them the ease with which the city could be cap 
 tured, and the advantages that would accrue from it. The sena 
 tors saw the importance of the matter, and invited me to accompany 
 them to see Mr. Welles. 
 
 The Secretary of the Navy, much to my surprise, received me 
 kindly, and listened attentively to all I had to say. When I had 
 concluded he suggested we should all go J;o the President. 
 
 We found Mr. Lincoln at the White House pacing the floor, 
 calm and thoughtful, and to him I repeated what I had told the 
 others, and urged the great importance of the capture of New 
 Orleans. When I had finished, the President said, " This reminds 
 me of a story which I must tell you all. 
 
 "There was an old woman in Illinois who "missed some of her 
 chickens, and couldn t imagine what had become of them. Some 
 one suggested that they had been carried off by a skunk ; so she told 
 her husband he must sit up that night and shoot the critter. 
 
 " The old man sat up all night, and next morning came in with 
 two pet rabbits. Thar, said he, your chickens are all safe ; thar s 
 two of them skunks I killed ! 
 
 " Them ain t skunks, said the old woman ; them s my pet rab 
 bits ; you allers was a fool ! 
 
 " Well, then, returned the old man, if them ain t skunks I 
 don t know a skunk when I sees it. 
 
 "Now, Mr. Secretary," said the President, "the navy has been 
 hunting pet rabbits long enough ; suppose you send them after 
 skunks. It seems to me that what the lieutenant proposes is feasi 
 ble. He says a dozen ships will take the forts and city, and there 
 should be twenty thousand soldiers sent along to hold it. After 
 
PLANS FOR CAPTURING NEW ORLEANS. 65 
 
 New Orleans is taken, and while we are about it, we can push on 
 to Vicksburg and open the river all the way along. We will go 
 and see General McClellan and find out if he can t manage to get 
 the troops." Just then Mr. Seward came in, and we all repaired 
 to McClellan s headquarters. 
 
 McClellan came down as soon as the President was announced, 
 and recognized me as an old acquaintance. " Why," exclaimed Mr. 
 Lincoln, " do you two fellows know each other ? So much the bet 
 ter." And he laid the matter before the general in a lucid manner, 
 for Mr. Lincoln was quick of comprehension, and said, " You must 
 find the troops and a general of good administrative abilities to 
 hold the city of New Orleans after the navy shall have captured it. 
 Now," continued the President, " time flies, and I want this mat 
 ter settled. I will leave you two gentlemen to arrange the plans, 
 and will come over here at eight o clock this evening to see what 
 conclusion you have arrived at." 
 
 So General McClellan and myself were left alone to talk the 
 matter over, and we soon determined upon a plan of operations. 
 At eight o clock that evening the President returned to General 
 McClellan s headquarters, and was informed that the general could 
 spare twenty thousand men to accompany a naval expedition to 
 New Orleans, and that they would be ready to embark as soon as 
 the naval vessels could be prepared. 
 
 The President then directed the Secretary of the Navy to have 
 the necessary number of ships ready. This duty was assigned to 
 Assistant (Secretary Fox, who took hold of the matter with his 
 usual energy, and soon assembled a squadron adequate to the 
 occasion. 
 
 Mr. Welles, in an article which he published in a magazine 
 called the " Galaxy," many years after the expedition to New Or 
 leans, states the matter in quite a different light. Of all the act 
 ors in the scene I have described, only General McClellan and my 
 self survive, and he can corroborate my statement. 
 
 In reference to Mr. Welles s narrative in the " Galaxy," it would 
 be charitable to suppose that age had impaired his memory, al 
 though his mind was vigorous to the last. 
 
 I know his friends were disappointed when the above-mentioned 
 article appeared. The ex-Secretary evidently wrote under a wrong 
 impression, and was disingenuous, to use the mildest expression. 
 
 However, I never noticed the article, thinking myself strong 
 enough to defy such attacks, nor would I let my friends publish 
 
 5 
 
66 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the papers in my possession that would have refuted Mr. Welles s 
 statements. 
 
 Besides, Mr. Welles had, on the whole, been kind to me, and stead 
 ily insisted on my promotion to the rank of rear-admiral and vice- 
 admiral, and I felt reluctant to call in question the word of a man 
 who had served his country in its darkest hour with fidelity and 
 zeal, if not with conspicuous ability. 
 
 There were too many officers living at the time who knew what 
 I had done, and I really regretted, for Mr. Welles s sake, that the 
 odium of the article fell upon him. 
 
 After settling upon the ships and troops, the next thing to be 
 done was to select an officer to command the naval forces. 
 
 Mr. Fox named several, but I opposed them all, and finally 
 urged the appointment of Captain D. G. Farragut so strongly that 
 I was sent to New York to communicate with him on the subject. 
 The result was the acceptance by Farragut of the command a 
 command assuring l}is reputation, which no man ever more de 
 served. 
 
 This is the way the expedition to New Orleans originated. It 
 is a piece of hitherto unwritten history. The limits of this work 
 forbid my giving further details. 
 
 When Farragut reached New Orleans with his fleet, of course 
 he created great consternation. The people fairly went wild ; they 
 set fire to the cotton along the levees, and seemed determined that 
 nothing valuable should fall into our hands. They did not appar 
 ently remember that, so far, our navy had respected private rights 
 and protected those made homeless by the actions of wild mobs. 
 
 Among the property destroyed were two powerful steamers in 
 tended for ironclads. Had these been finished, they would have 
 been strong enough to drive our Union ships from the coast. By 
 the time we could have built the proper kind of vessels to compete 
 with the monsters the Confederates were constructing, the Missis 
 sippi River would have been so strongly fortified that it would have 
 taken years to break the backbone of the Rebellion. 
 
 Instead of wasting our resources in attacking Hatteras Inlet, 
 Port Royal, and other places of less importance, we should have 
 assailed New Orleans in the first instance with just such a force 
 as was finally sent there. It would then have fallen into our hands 
 without much resistance ; but the place for a long time was treated 
 by the Government as if unworthy of notice. 
 
 New Orleans was the great Southern emporium, and was filled 
 
IMPORTANCE OF NEW ORLEANS. 67 
 
 with all kinds of naval and military stores, supplied by the rich 
 country which borders on the Mississippi and its tributaries, and 
 having easy communication with Texas, which could supply an im 
 mense army with food for an indefinite period. 
 
 The ports of Texas were so inadequately guarded that, two years 
 after the commencement of hostilities, blockade-runners went in 
 and out almost with impunity, taking away a large amount of cot 
 ton, which supplied the Confederates with funds in Europe with 
 which to buy everything they needed. 
 
 These articles were sent into Wilmington, Charleston, and 
 Savannah, and thence were distributed as occasion required. 
 
 I was in command of the first vessel that undertook the block 
 ade of the Mississippi, having been sent there at my own request 
 by Captain McKean, commanding the Niagara. I realized from 
 the first the great importance of New Orleans to the Confederates. 
 Perhaps because the entrance to the Mississippi was easily block 
 aded it made the Government indifferent, or perhaps, to use an old 
 quotation, 
 
 " There were men in high places, 
 With smooth, placid faces, 
 With hands meekly folded as if saying grace, 
 While rebellion was moving at an awful fast pace." 
 
 We either sent ships there too large to cross the bar, or else sailing- 
 vessels that were not a particle of use. Those who were on the 
 blockade in that quarter a short time after I left can not have for 
 gotten the miserable fiasco made by a detachment of two or three 
 vessels that attempted to ascend the river as far as the head of the 
 passes, and were obliged to make a shameful retreat, being chased 
 down the river and over the bar by the Confederate ram Manassas. 
 
 This event became more notorious from the fact that the sail 
 ing-vessel grounded on the bar near deep water, and a river steamer 
 called the Ivy, armed with a three-inch rifle gun, kept the shots 
 whistling in so lively a manner around the heads of our people that 
 the commanding officer became panic-stricken, wrapped himself in 
 the American flag, fired a fuse leading to the magazine, and de 
 serted his ship with his officers and men. 
 
 They all repaired on board the senior officer s ship, much to the 
 horror of the latter when he heard that the sloop of war would 
 blow up in a few minutes ; but an hour elapsed, and no explosion 
 took place. The reason of this was subsequently explained by an 
 
68 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 old quartermaster, who informed the senior officer that just before 
 leaying the ship he had cut off the burning end of the fuse, think 
 ing the captain might change his mind when he no longer heard 
 the whistling of the enemy s shells a fine commentary on the be 
 havior of his commanding officer. 
 
 But to return to Flag Officer Farragut, whom I left at anchor 
 before the city of New Orleans, with a vile mob shouting defiance 
 at him through the streets, and a foolish Mayor aiding and abet 
 ting their madness, when one broadside from the Hartford would 
 have scattered the rabble like a flock of sheep and set fire to the place. 
 
 If ever Farragut deserved credit, it was for the forbearance and 
 humanity he showed to the crowd of maniacs who defied his author 
 ity and did everything in its power to prevent him from taking 
 peaceful possession of the city. 
 
 A conqueror is never so great as when governing himself and 
 controlling the passions of those around him, in the moment of vic 
 tory, who witness their beaten foes still defying those who have it 
 in their power to destroy them. 
 
 This was exactly the state of affairs in "New Orleans when Farra 
 gut arrived before the city. 
 
 "We had been led to believe that many Union people there were 
 actually pining for the sight of the old flag, and that our forces 
 would receive the warmest welcome. On the contrary, Farragut 
 was met with yells of defiance all along the levee from thousands of 
 people mad in every sense of the word. 
 
 They acted as if they had just escaped from a lunatic asylum. 
 They ranted, raved, and used such, shocking bad language that it 
 pained the ears. Boatmen, politicians, sage counselors, women of 
 the town, and fish-mongers were all mixed up in a seemingly in 
 extricable mass, defying Farragut s ships with their fists as if they 
 would annihilate them. It would have been amusing had not the 
 occasion been too serious, and had not the power of the Govern 
 ment required to have been vindicated. 
 
 "What a reckless mob it was, to be sure, which one shot from a 
 howitzer would have scattered like sheep ! But the maniacs, insti 
 gated by those who ought to have known better, trusted to the 
 chivalry of the navy, supposing it would not fire on unarmed peo 
 ple, and resorted to every kind of low abuse the human tongue 
 could utter. The Mayor and City Council never reflected how 
 much better it would have been for them to have surrendered with 
 dignity. 
 
DEFIANCE OF THE PEOPLE. 69 
 
 Captain Bailey, accompanied by Lieutenant George H. Perkins, 
 was at length sent on shore, with a flag of truce, to wait on the 
 Mayor and demand the surrender of the city. These two brave 
 officers landed without any support and forced that maddened, 
 yelling crowd to open their ranks and let them pass. The mob 
 hooted and shook their fists in the officers faces, shouting, " Choke 
 them ! " " Give them rotten eggs ! " Some even threatened them 
 with pistols, but they did them no injury, for the crowd was awed, 
 if not quieted, by the determined looks of the two officers, who 
 marched on to the performance of their mission as coolly as if on 
 parade. 
 
 They performed their duty and returned to the ship, escorted 
 by the same demoniac rabble. It was a perilous undertaking, and 
 had a hair of their heads been injured, the commander-in-chief of 
 the squadron would have opened on the city. 
 
 In the days of the French Revolution, when the sans-culottes 
 dragged their victims to the shambles, the mob were not actuated 
 by a more devilish spirit than this pleasant party assembled on 
 the levee at New Orleans. Men, women, and children of all 
 classes stayed, mixed up together, till late that night, and with 
 the most discordant shrieks and howls defied Farragut and his 
 officers. 
 
 It was a critical moment. The commander-in-chief had im 
 posed upon him a solemn duty to enforce the obedience of a rebel 
 lious city, which lay helpless at his feet, yet was dominated by a 
 tumultuous crowd instigated by their leaders to a threatening atti 
 tude, doubtless with the hope that Farragut would be provoked to 
 fire into the throng and kill some of their number. 
 
 That would have been a great boon to the inciters of the mob. 
 They would have filled the civilized world with their complaints of 
 Union cruelty toward helpless women and children, and made many 
 misrepresentations not easy to confute, as noxious weeds, when once 
 they have taken root, are exceedingly hard to remove. 
 
 Fortunately, Farragut was too humane to gratify these desper 
 ate people, although they gave him no credit for his forbearance, 
 and only increased their offensive demonstrations. 
 
 Some officer suggested a dose of grape-shot. " No," said Farra 
 gut, "the wretches are crazy, and I can t fire on howling maniacs." 
 
 Captain Bell proposed to the flag-officer to let him land the ma 
 rines and plant the Union flag on the Government buildings. To 
 this Farragut consented. 
 
70 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 There was never a more hazardous duty than that imposed on 
 Captain Bell, and he performed it to the fullest satisfaction of his 
 brother officers. His cool conduct even drew respect from the noisy 
 rabble, who, although they howled and hooted and used the most 
 opprobrious epithets, yet gave way before the steady advance of the 
 handful of marines, and then closed in behind them. 
 
 For some time no one could learn the fate of what was thought 
 to be a forlorn hope, but the bearing of Bell and his men kept the 
 crowd in a certain awe. 
 
 They knew that the well-drilled men and their sturdy leader 
 meant business, and no one had the hardihood to strike the first 
 blow, although the crowd was so great that they might have closed 
 on this handful of men and torn them to pieces. 
 
 At length Bell reached the City Hall and demanded ad 
 mittance. Amid the howls of the multitude he ascended to the 
 roof of the building, leaving the marines to guard the doors, and 
 in a few moments the star-spangled banner floated from the flag 
 pole. 
 
 At the same instant a cheer from the crews of the Union vessels 
 rang along the levee and up the Mississippi, as if to notify the loyal 
 North that the navy had taken possession of the Government prop 
 erty in New Orleans. 
 
 The crowd in the streets was astounded, and for a moment si 
 lenced at the sight of our country s flag floating from the staff: where 
 lately the rebel ensign had waved. Perhaps they had still a linger 
 ing regard for the flag under which many of them had served in 
 days of yore, and to which they had looked for protection. Their 
 silence was but momentary, for presently loud shouts went up : 
 " Pull it down ! " " Trample it in the mud ! " " Tear the vile 
 rag to pieces ! " 
 
 "The first man who lays a hand on that flag in my presence," 
 said Bell, "will be shot down." 
 
 The crowd knew that he meant what he said, and, although they 
 shrieked and yelled and threatened, they committed no overt act, 
 but satisfied themselves with cursing the flag as if it did them a 
 world of good. 
 
 Any one can be gallant in action, when the excitement of battle 
 stirs him up to perform deeds of valor, but when men offer their 
 lives by facing a furious mob, that requires heroism. 
 
 There were few men better qualified for such an emergency than 
 Captain Bell a man without bluster, but with a firm purpose to 
 
GENERAL BUTLER IN COMMAND. 71 
 
 vindicate the authority of his Government. He led that forlorn hope 
 as he had previously in a little four-gun steamer led his division past 
 the batteries below New Orleans. 
 
 General Butler and his troops were in transports at Ship Island 
 until Farragut had passed the forts. After the surrender I sent my 
 steamers down to the bar and towed such of his vessels as I could 
 get hold of up to garrison the two forts. Then I towed as many 
 as I could to New Orleans, and the troops landed at the levee about 
 a mile below the city. 
 
 When the troops marched into town they found the mob as quiet 
 as possible, seeming to have no desire to come into collision with 
 those grim Puritans, who were perfectly willing to bayonet any one 
 resisting their authority. 
 
 Had Butler s transports been all steamers instead of being mostly 
 sailing vessels, and had he followed the navy closely, he might have 
 reached New Orleans in time to receive part of the honor due for its 
 capture. As it was, General Butler s adherents attempted to mo 
 nopolize the chief credit of the affair, and, in a work issued under 
 authority of the War Department, as a record of the times, the 
 only reference to the fall of New Orleans is that it was occu 
 pied by the troops under command of General Butler, April 30, 
 1862 (!). 
 
 After General Butler commenced to administer affairs at New 
 Orleans, Farragut found himself altogether a secondary person. 
 There was a number of shells in the arsenal which fitted the ship s 
 guns, and Farragut sent an officer to get some of them. But the 
 officer was very rudely told to go away and not meddle with things 
 to which he had no right that Butler had captured New Orleans, 
 and that Farragut could exercise no authority there. 
 
 " Damn the fellow s impudence ! " said the flag-officer when 
 this rebuff was reported to him, which was about the severest ex 
 pression he ever made use of. 
 
 The fact is, that not only was New Orleans captured by the navy 
 without any assistance from General Butler or his forces, but it was 
 only through the navy that the general maintained his authority in 
 the city a fact which he did not seem to appreciate. 
 
 Butler commenced his administration in a very vigorous man 
 ner, and there was never a conquered city that more needed a firm 
 hand to govern it. 
 
 General Shepley, a lawyer of repute and a gentleman of ability, 
 was appointed by Butler military governor of the city, and to him 
 
72 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 belongs the greater share of credit for the administration of affairs 
 at New Orleans, although his superior officer managed to appropri 
 ate it for himself. 
 
 General Butler was no douht very energetic in inflicting punish 
 ment, but I am of opinion that, had he left matters altogether in 
 the hands of General Shepley, there would haye been a happier con 
 dition of affairs, although it is true the people of New Orleans were 
 a stiff-necked community, who seemed to delight in aggravating 
 their conquerors. 
 
 Whatever may be said against General Butler s administration, 
 it at least secured good order in a city notorious for the large 
 number of desperate characters it contained ; for the first time 
 within the memory of man the city was everywhere clean and 
 healthy. 
 
 Any one might walk the streets, by day or night, with perfect 
 safety. At every corner was a Northern soldier, as stern and un 
 yielding as one of Cromwell s Ironsides. 
 
 There was a secret police established, if not equal to that of 
 Fouche, yet quite adequate to the occasion. 
 
 Commerce again began to show itself along the levees, and the 
 stevedores, but lately part and parcel of the mob which ruled the 
 hour, were tumbling cotton into vessels that had been towed up 
 from the bar ; like seabirds, they followed in the wake of the naval 
 vessels to pick up the crumbs. 
 
 All was apparently as pleasant as a summer evening, when the 
 moon was at its full and the sea-breeze rippling the water with its 
 cool freshness. 
 
 The almighty Union dollar, with its beautiful engraved vignette 
 and its look as if it was the true original, had almost immediately 
 thrown into the shade its humbly dressed Confederate namesake 
 worth about three cents not enough to buy half a pint of gumbo- 
 soup. 
 
 The crowd surged where the Union dollars were most abundant, 
 and in a week, although merchant- vessels were not as plentiful as 
 of yore, still there was an appearance of new life. 
 
 The people, however, were sulky, particularly the women, and 
 the ladies would not associate with the Union officers, drew their 
 dresses close to them when they passed a Northern soldier, and 
 some of the less refined spat upon the ground to show their con 
 tempt of their enemies, and even mocked when Union soldiers 
 were carried to their graves. However, these cases were excep- 
 
GENERAL BUTLER S SYSTEM. 73 
 
 tions, and General Butler left nothing undone to put a stop to 
 such conduct. 
 
 His system was doubtless lacking in tact, and he would 
 have saved himself a deal of trouble by not seeing too much. 
 The most prominent disturbers of the peace were women, some 
 of them supposed to be ladies, who, in their zeal for the Con 
 federate cause, violated the proprieties of life. But it should 
 have been taken into consideration that they were women, that 
 it is the custom in this country to give them great latitude 
 and to make for them every allowance, and that the consider 
 ation for them even extends to surrendering our seats in an 
 omnibus ! 
 
 I would have dealt with forbearance in such cases, except one, 
 having satisfied myself of the expediency of humoring the gentler 
 sex when there was no actual danger in so doing. 
 
 General Butler was not popular at New Orleans, although the 
 city was never so clean, healthy, and orderly as under his regime ; 
 but when Banks relieved Butler the inhabitants soon wished the 
 latter back again. Butler s rule, if severe, was consistent, and 
 everybody knew what to expect, while Banks s administration 
 showed less ability, and his ways subjected him to criticism, which 
 was not wholly undeserved. 
 
 Like the Caliph Haroun al Raschid, Butler loved to prowl 
 around at night and see for himself what was going on, and en 
 deavor to entrap the governor, chief of police, or others of his sub 
 ordinates. He had means of obtaining information that they did 
 not possess, and it gave the general great delight to twit them with 
 news he had obtained in advance of them. 
 
 Butler held court daily, and dealt out his sentences with un 
 sparing hand. One day, after the session was over, he beckoned 
 the chief of police to him and said : " Look here, captain, you have 
 mistaken your business, I might as well have a log of wood on 
 the police force. If you ever find anything out, I am none the 
 wiser. I find out everything without your help. " 
 
 "I tell you everything of importance," replied the chief of po 
 lice. "I don t trouble you with every trifle that comes under my 
 notice. If I did, you would think me a gossip." 
 
 "Well, sir," said the general, "how are you to find out any. 
 thing except through gossip ? I don t think you know anything to 
 gossip about." 
 
 The captain smiled. "Ah, general," he said, "I know every- 
 
74: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 thing that occurs in New Orleans ; everybody s movements ; what 
 more would you have ? " 
 
 " Bosh ! " said Butler. " I don t believe it ; you had better say 
 you know my movements." 
 
 " But, sir," replied the captain, " you are the commander-in- 
 chief, and we don t pretend to know what you do." 
 
 "It is your business," said the general, " to know every one s 
 movements. You are a humbug, sir, and I don t believe in you." 
 
 "I am sorry, sir, to have lost your confidence," said the chief of 
 police ; "but, if it will afford you any satisfaction, I could tell 
 every movement you have made in the past twenty-four hours." 
 
 "Where was I last night at ten o clock ?" inquired the general. 
 
 "At General Shepley s, eating a terrapin supper," was the re- 
 
 Pty- 
 
 "At eleven o clock ? " continued the general. 
 
 " Closeted with your brother at his quarters." 
 
 " At twelve o clock ? " inquired Butler. 
 
 "Well, sir, you left your brother s at 11.15, went to No. 1,220 
 Canal Street, knocked at the door, which was opened by " 
 
 " Shut up, d n you ! " thundered the irate general ; "you are 
 
 too inquisitive. The time you spent in spying after me might 
 
 have been devoted to some useful purpose. However, I am satisfied. 
 But who shadows you, and who shadows the fellow that shadows 
 you ? That s what I d like to know." 
 
 One day the general was going to his office with only a single 
 orderly following, when he saw two Union soldiers talking in a 
 friendly manner with a man who was leaning on a spade, having 
 evidently stopped work for the purpose of having a chat. The 
 general was in citizen s dress, and therefore did not attract particu 
 lar notice. 
 
 As he passed near the group he heard the man with the spade 
 say, " We rebs gave you Yanks hell at Shiloh, didn t we ? " 
 
 The general was horrified to think that any one in his jurisdic 
 tion should dare to talk treason openly. 
 
 "Bring that man to my office !" roared the general to the sol 
 diers. " I will make him eat his words." 
 
 The man with the spade protested that he meant no harm, but, 
 in spite of all he could say, he was marched off to the general s 
 office. 
 
 It was after two o clock before the general got through with the 
 docket of poor devils and had time to turn his attention to the 
 
BUTLER AND THE IRISHMAN. 75 
 
 man with the spade, who, from the severity of the punishment 
 awarded his fellow-prisoners, began to think he had got into a 
 pretty bad scrape. 
 
 At length the general glared at him fiercely and inquired : 
 " What did I hear you say to those two soldiers ? Tell the truth 
 now." 
 
 ""Well, gin ral," said the man, "I m willin yer honor should 
 know everything I said, an I m sure yer honor will agree with me 
 when yer hear what I really did say. Mike Donovan is not the 
 man to belie what he says, nivir the bit of it, yer honor." 
 
 "Well, then, speak out," said the general, "and tell me what 
 you said." 
 
 "All I said, gin ral," replied Mike, "to thim two Union boys 
 wid whom I was talkin friendly-like, was, ( Didn t we rebs give you 
 Yanks hell at Shiloh ? an that s the whole ov it, gin ral." 
 
 "And that speech," said the general, "will send you to work 
 for the Government with a ball and chain to your leg." 
 
 "Oh, howly Moses ! " exclaimed Donovan, "an what ll become 
 ov me wife and childer ? I can t stand the work, and the muskeet- 
 ers will suck all the blood out ov me a-workin in the foorts ; bitter 
 the day that I left the bogs of auld Ireland. Forgive me, gin ral, 
 for the sake ov me wife and childer." 
 
 "You ought to have thought of your family before you made 
 treasonable speeches under the Union flag," said the general. " You 
 know the Bible says the sins of the father shall be visited on the 
 children." 
 
 "But, gin ral, is there nothing I can say," said the man, "to do 
 away wid your displeasure ? I ll worruk the skin off me hands if 
 ye ll let me sarve out me sintince here an not sind me to the foorts." 
 
 " No," replied the general, " I make no terms with such a traitor 
 as yourself ; however, there is one thing that may save you. Will 
 you take the oath of allegiance to the United States ? " for General 
 Butler considered the taking of the oath a panacea for all evils ; 
 any one who took it was, as it were, born again. 
 
 " Oh, yis, yer honor," said the man, his face brightening up ; 
 u faith, an I ll take it iron-clad, or copper fastened, or any other 
 kind of oath to get out of this trouble, an I ll kape it, too." 
 
 The Bible was brought out, and Mr. Donovan took his solemn 
 oath to be faithful to the Union and serve with heart and soul in 
 her hour of need, probably with a reservation in favor of the stars 
 and bars, for which he had lately been so enthusiastic. 
 
76 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 When this important ceremony was concluded the newly made 
 patriot turned to the general and said, " Now I m a Union man and 
 no mistake, ain t I ? " 
 
 "Yes, you are," replied the general, "and take care you keep 
 your oath, or I will hang you." 
 
 "Divil a bit there s a break in me," said Donovan. "I m in- 
 titled to all the pertection av the Government, ain t I ?" 
 
 " Certainly," said the general. 
 
 " An I m to be pertected in free spache like any other Union 
 man?" 
 
 "Yes, yes," replied the general. 
 
 "Well, thin, gin ral, yer honor, I want to ask yer honor wan 
 question, if yer honor plazes." 
 
 " Out with it," said the general, "for I can t stand here all the 
 morning bothering with your affairs. " 
 
 "Well, thin, gin ral, yer honor," said Mike, "didn t thim rebs 
 give us Yanks hell at Shiloh ? " 
 
 The general collapsed. "Get out of this quick, and don t let 
 me ever hear you say Shiloh again, or you may find your way to 
 the forts yet, notwithstanding your oath of allegiance." 
 
 Mr. Donovan did not wait for a second invitation, but slipped 
 off to join his "wife and childer," and the general, although rather 
 amused at the incident, cautioned the police to keep an eye on this 
 newly fledged Union man. 
 
 There was no apparent Union feeling in New Orleans when we 
 captured it. There may have been isolated cases of persons who 
 still had a love for the Union of their fathers, but the only person 
 whom I ever knew to extend the hand of welcome to a Union officer 
 was the late William H. Hunt, afterward Secretary of the Navy 
 and Minister to Eussia. 
 
 He was outspoken in his friendship for the Union men, but it 
 lost him the good-will of the residents of New Orleans, and after 
 the war he was obliged to move North on account of the social press 
 ure against him. 
 
 I met people in the street whom I had formerly known intimate 
 ly, but they passed me as if I were a stranger. Any manifestation 
 of Union feeling would have been encouraging, but there was not 
 enough to raise a flutter. 
 
 I had some old friends in the city, with whom I had been ac 
 customed to stay when I was there, and of whom I was very fond. 
 
 As soon as I could find time I procured protection papers for 
 
CALLING UPON OLD FRIENDS. 77 
 
 these friends at that period a matter of great importance and, 
 armed with these, I went in pursuit of them. 
 
 I found the house just as when I was last there, a few years be 
 fore, and in a neighborhood so quiet that it would seem that the 
 sounds of war could never penetrate there. 
 
 The blinds were drawn, but I did not think anything of that, 
 as New Orleans ladies are proud of their complexions, and I thought 
 they might wish to show themselves to the best advantage in a sub 
 dued light. 
 
 There was no answer to my knock at the door, although I knew 
 the family were in the house. I continued knocking until people 
 in the neighborhood, attracted by the unusual noise in that quiet 
 street, began to look from their windows. At last, in despair of 
 getting an answer, I put my hand oil the knob, the door opened, 
 and I walked in. 
 
 I saw no one in the lower part of the house until I reached the 
 kitchen, where the cook, an old acquaintance, was seated, pipe in 
 mouth, beside the hearth. 
 
 " Mffly," said I, " don t you know me ?" 
 
 " No, sar, nebber seed you befo ," was the reply. 
 
 " Where s your old mistress ? " I inquired. 
 
 " She ain t har, sar ; she done gone out." 
 
 "Where is Miss Mary, then ? " 
 
 "She done gone out too." 
 
 " Where are the rest of the family ? " 
 
 "Dey is all done gone out, sar, as you kin see fo yourse f." 
 
 " Where have they gone ? " 
 
 "Don t know noffin bout it, sar," said Milly. 
 
 "And you say you don t know me, Milly ?" I inquired. 
 
 "No, sar, nebber seen you afore in my born days, do I specs 
 youse one ob dem Union folks what s come here to kill us all." 
 
 " Now, Milly," I said, " I believe you are lying, and that the 
 family are at home. Go tell them I am here, and shall not leave 
 until I see them." 
 
 "Dey don t know you, sar," said Milly, "kase youse de enemy 
 ob dar country." 
 
 " Oh, that s it, is it ? Very well, I will sit in the parlor until 
 I see the family if I have to stay there a week," I said. 
 
 "Dey is done, gone away for two week," said the old darkey, 
 " and won t nebber come back s long as you is here." So saying, she 
 knocked the ashes from her pipe and disappeared into the wash-room. 
 
78 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 At that moment a parrot, from his perch in the kitchen, broke 
 out into a hoarse laugh, whistled, flapped his wings, and yelled out, 
 " Que voulez-vous 9 " That was the straw that broke the camel s 
 back, and I retreated from the inhospitable kitchen and took a seat 
 in the parlor. 
 
 For half an hour I waited, but not a sound met my ear. At 
 length a little nigger, with nothing on but a shirt, poked his head 
 in the door, then vanished as if he had seen a ghost. 
 
 At the expiration of another half-hour a superannuated dog, 
 whom I had known well in former days and with whom I was once 
 a favorite, looked into the apartment, fixed his blear eyes on me for 
 a moment, dropped his head, and walked away with the hairs on 
 his back bristling up. 
 
 Still I sat there ; the time passed so slowly it seemed as if I had 
 been there for hours. I picked up a guitar from the corner and 
 played an air well known to the family. I heard a discordant 
 laugh, and, looking up, saw the parrot hobbling in. It sang out, 
 " Que voulez-vous f " and out it went again, screaming. 
 
 I was in despair. Neither cook, dog, parrot, or little nigger 
 would have anything to do with me. 
 
 Presently I heard the rustle of a dress on the stair, and in sailed 
 a graceful woman, once a warm friend. I arose, extended my 
 hand, and exclaimed, "I am delighted to see you." 
 
 The lady was as stiff and cold as Lot s wife when turned into 
 the pillar of salt. 
 
 " I can t shake hands with an enemy of my country," she said. 
 " How do I know but what one of your bomb-shells has fallen on 
 the head of one of my sons, who are gloriously fighting for their 
 beloved country ? " one boy was thirteen years old and the other 
 eleven ! 
 
 " How came you to let them go ?" I inquired. 
 
 "They ran away," she replied, "to the forts, to help keep 
 Farragut s fleet from the city." 
 
 "A forlorn hope, my good friend," said I ; "but you need fear 
 nothing : boys of that tender age would be well cared for by the 
 officers, and not allowed to expose themselves." 
 
 t( I am not your good friend" said the lady. "I am your ene 
 my, and ma told me to say that if you had come here wounded 
 and dying, she wouldn t have given you a glass o water." 
 
 "Shocking !" I exclaimed ; "but I don t believe a word of it. 
 If I had come here wounded, your mother would have been the 
 
A REBUFF. 79 
 
 first to hunt me up and attend me. Now listen to me/ I contin 
 ued ; f all this talk of yours is nonsense and very unbecoming. 
 You are too kind-hearted a woman to express such sentiments. 
 You have committed a certain part to memory like that parrot of 
 yours, and don t mean half you say." 
 
 She began to cry. Get a woman to crying, and her enmity is 
 half conquered. Tears open the fountain of the heart. In half 
 an hour we were as good friends as ever. I pressed upon her Gen 
 eral Butler s protection, which I thought the family might need. 
 Although at first she was opposed to touching the papers, yet when 
 I told her they meant safety from domiciliary visits, guardianship 
 of the police, bread and meat in case of scarcity of provisions, etc., 
 she was satisfied. 
 
 This lady was the only member of the family who would see me, 
 though I knew they were all up-stairs. 
 
 When I went away I said, " We shall not meet again, for I 
 shall not subject myself to another rebuff such as I have this day 
 experienced, and I have no doubt you will all regret your action." 
 
 "No," she replied, "we are determined to hold no intercourse 
 with our enemies, no matter what happens, and I know ma will 
 never forgive me for being so friendly with you. Don t come here 
 again, for it is painful to us all to meet you." 
 
 I departed, sad enough to see the minds of people whom I 
 knew to be as good and kind as any in the world so warped by 
 their secession sentiments, about the merits of which they had not 
 the faintest idea. They were afflicted with a madness for which 
 there was no antidote at hand. 
 
 " Old Clootie was with them ; he said all was right. 
 He held the bottle and urged on the fight." 
 
 I did not see my secession friends for a long time afterward. 
 
 Soon after the fall of Vicksburg, on July 4, 1863, I proceeded 
 in my flag-ship Black Hawk to New Orleans, in order that Admi 
 ral Farragut might turn over to me the command of the entire 
 Mississippi Eiver and its tributaries. 
 
 On the second night of my arrival in New Orleans I was sit 
 ting in the cabin, when Fleet-Captain Breese came in and informed 
 me that an elderly lady wished to see me. "From what I have 
 heard you say," he continued, " I think it must be your old friend 
 Mrs. ." 
 
 I went at once into the forward cabin, and found it was indeed 
 my old friend who a year ago had thought so hardly of me. 
 
80 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 As I entered the cabin she rushed toward me, but I stood un 
 moved, bowed formally, and said, " I am the admiral, madam ; can 
 I be of any service to you ? " 
 
 " Why," exclaimed the lady, "am I so changed that you do not 
 
 recognize me ? Why, I am Mrs. , your old friend who always 
 
 loved you like a son." 
 
 " Impossible, madam," I replied. "You can not be Mrs. . 
 
 Why, the last time I was here in 1862 she wouldn t see me, although 
 I called at her house to offer her assistance and protection. She 
 sent me word by her daughter that if I had come to her wounded 
 and dying she wouldn t have given me a cup of water to quench 
 my thirst." 
 
 " Oh, no ! " she exclaimed, "I never said that never, never ! 
 We are all Union people now ; we are no longer Confederates. 
 Pierre has a twelve-hundred-dollar clerkship in the post-office, 
 Walter has a nine-hundred-dollar place in the custom-house, 
 George is in the Commissary-General s office, James is a clerk on the 
 levee to register cargo from Government steamers, and Harry is in 
 the Signal Service. We were never so well off in our lives before. 
 I have my pension, which I couldn t get while the rebels held the 
 city, and Mary and Emma have both a promise for the place of 
 folders in the post-office within the next month. Oh, we are all for 
 the Union and the old flag ! 
 
 "And then," continued the old lady, "New Orleans is so beau 
 tiful now ; it is clean as a new pin, there is no sickness, you never 
 see a drunken man, there are no gambling-houses to entice young 
 men from home, the markets are so cheap, and the streets are so 
 orderly that a woman can walk them alone at any hour of the 
 night. Yes, we are all Union. Cousin Le Bert is to be appointed 
 solicitor of something, I don t know exactly what, and uncle La 
 Bias is to be Captain of the Port. Oh, what a happy Union fam 
 ily we are ! 
 
 "And it is so lovely here now ! " went on the old lady. " Gen 
 eral Banks is such a handsome man and Mrs. Banks such a lovely 
 woman, and they keep up such style, and ride in a splendid carriage 
 with a body-guard just like royalty. Mrs. Banks has her weekly 
 receptions at the St. Charles, and all the best ladies appear there in 
 laces and diamonds. They say Queen Victoria don t ha^ve anything 
 to equal it. 
 
 "And then, too, Cousin Le Febre is going to become Union as 
 soon as he can get the position of steamboat inspector, and " 
 
A CHANGE OF SENTIMENT. 81 
 
 There is no knowing how long the old lady would haye run on 
 had I not interrupted her. 
 
 "Well," I said at last, " my dear old friend, since you have be 
 come Union and love the flag under which all of us were born, 
 come to my arms. I don t believe you ever said what they accused 
 you of. You can thank your stars that you are living once more 
 under the folds of the star-spangled banner, and that you have a 
 beneficent Government that will provide offices for all the family 
 and secure to you a pension for the services of your gallant hus 
 band, who would have died sooner than raise a hand against his old 
 flag." 
 
 "Ah, yes," sighed the old lady, "he was Union all over, but 
 there was no craziness in the air then ; everybody was happy, every 
 body had an office, and all the widows had pensions." 
 
 "My dear friend," said I, "that s the only way to preserve the 
 Union ; give every one a fat office, and they will stick to the flag 
 until it blows away. That was the difficulty with half the people ; 
 they had to go out of office and see the other half come in, and, 
 not liking to give up the loaves and fishes, they established an 
 office for each one of themselves. I think your idea of keeping up 
 the Union is the correct one. Still you have been guilty of an 
 oversight in not securing offices for that old dog of yours and that 
 intelligent parrot ; they seem to have been left out in the cold." 
 
 "Ah, yes," said Mrs. , "you remember them, do you? 
 
 Well, worse people than they have been appointed to office." 
 
 " I hope both of them are loyal to the Union," said I. 
 
 "Yes," she replied, "the dog will bark at a rebel soldier, and 
 the parrot can say Vive la bagatelle ! " 
 
 Next day my old friend and all her grandchildren, nephews, 
 nieces, sisters, cousins, and aunts dined with me and insisted on 
 having the Union flag festooned over the doors so that they might 
 show their Union feeling by walking underneath. They all 
 seemed contented and happy. I am satisfied that if, at the com 
 mencement of the war, every man in the rebel army had been given 
 an office, and all the widows in the Confederacy a pension, the revo 
 lution would not have lasted a week. 
 
 New Orleans was a prolific field for anecdotes of the war, but 
 my limits will not permit me to linger here any longer, and, as 
 these reminiscences are simply for amusement and not for the pur 
 pose of exciting unkind feeling, I will pass on. 
 
82 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 ASCENDING THE MISSISSIPPI ODD SPECIMENS OP CONFEDERATES 
 A PLANTATION MANSION DOUBTING MOSES. 
 
 WHILE ascending the Mississippi on my way to join Farragut at 
 Vicksburg, I had a good opportunity of witnessing the disposition 
 of the people along the river. Notwithstanding our desire to be 
 friends with them, they would have nothing to do with us they 
 were mad with the secession fever. As to the women, they were 
 very Spartans in the secession cause ; in fact, rather overdid the 
 matter. 
 
 One day, while turning a bend in the river with two schooners 
 in tow of my vessel, a boat containing two men was seen crossing 
 the river ahead of us. We had just been fired upon by field-pieces 
 from a high bluff, and several of our men had been killed and 
 wounded. I wanted to find out the name of the place, so that I 
 could warn our vessels to be on their guard when they reached that 
 point and have their batteries ready. We, having a mortar-vessel 
 on each side of our steamers, could not respond to such attacks, 
 and had to bear them as best we could. 
 
 I captured the boat and brought the two men on board my ves 
 sel. Far from showing any fear, these persons were as defiant as 
 possible. They were coarsely dressed in linsey-woolsey, wore slouch 
 hats, and had the appearance of laborers. 
 
 "I d like to know," said one of them, "how you dare captur a 
 peaceable citizen of the Confed rit States who ain t done nothin to 
 you. This is a highway, and I think we have a right to travel it." 
 
 " Walk down in the cabin, gentlemen," I said, "and take some 
 refreshments." 
 
 " We ain t no gentlemen," said the man, " an we don t want 
 none of your dam refreshments. We ve got a gallon of whisky 
 good enough for an emperor in our dug-out, an we don t want any 
 of your molasses and water. Zeke an I have taken four drinks al 
 ready since we left the store." 
 
 The last statement accounted for their belligerent attitude. 
 
 "Well, then, gentlemen," I said, "may I at least have the 
 pleasure of knowing your names." 
 
 "I told you," said the man, "that we ain t no gentlemen ; we 
 
TWO RARE CONFEDERATES. 83 
 
 are Confed rit citizens ; but, if it ll do you any good, my name is 
 Jake Potter, and this other feller is Zeke Opdyke." 
 
 "Well, Jake," said I, "you and Zeke are not Confederate sol 
 diers, are you ? " 
 
 "I m Jake to my friends," said the man, "but you an I ain t 
 intimate enough for you to call me Jake. My name s Mr. Potter 
 when you speak to me." 
 
 "And I," spoke up the other, "am Mr. Opdyke when I m taken 
 outer my boat an my w isky-jug left in thar for yer dam sailors 
 to suck. I seen one just now pokin his long nose inter it." 
 
 I acknowledged the force of the rebuke. "Well, Mr. Potter," 
 said I, " I suppose you are an out-and-out rebel." 
 
 " You bet I am," replied that worthy. 
 
 "And me, too," said Mr. Opdyke, "though day afore yesterday 
 I was on the fence." 
 
 "And pray, sir, if I may inquire, what caused you to change 
 your sentiments ? " 
 
 "Well, then, Kurnel," said Mr. Opdyke, "if you must know, 
 the Confed rit Gov ment hired my wagon-team at three dollars a 
 day, an I jined em right off." 
 
 "They pay you in Confederate money, I suppose," was my next 
 remark. 
 
 " What n thunder do you s p ose they d pay me in, Kurnel ? " 
 inquired Mr. Opdyke. " You don t suppose I d take that Union 
 trash, worth only eighty cents on the dollar, while ourn is worth a 
 hundred an twenty, do ye ? " 
 
 "Well, Mr. Potter," I said, turning to the other man, "where 
 were you born ? " 
 
 " Now, Kurnel, it strikes me you are gittin a leetle too inquisi 
 tive, but, if it ll do you any good, I was born in East Haddam, Con 
 necticut." 
 
 "And Mr. Opdyke ?" I inquired. 
 
 "Well," he said, "not more n a yard from the same place." 
 
 "And you have joined the rebels heart and soul?" I in 
 quired. 
 
 "You bet we have," they both replied at once. 
 
 "How long have you been South, Mr. Potter ?" I asked. 
 
 "Wall, I don t know as I m bound to crimernate myself, but 
 I don t mind tellin you I ve been here goin on two year. We two 
 come South together, but we ain t a goin to answer any more ques 
 tions s long as we re pris ners." 
 
84: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "You are not prisoners," I said ; "we don t make war on un 
 armed men or women." 
 
 "The devil you don t," said Mr. Opdyke ; "if some of them 
 bummers of yourn didn t steal all the chickens off Mrs. Clapham s 
 plantation last night, then I ll be fizzled ! " 
 
 That rather took me aback ; but, quickly recovering, I said, 
 " Can you tell me the name of the vessel that perpetrated such an 
 outrage ? " 
 
 "She was called the Sally Brown," replied Mr. Opdyke. ("It 
 is the Sarah Bruen," whispered one of the officers to me. ) 
 
 "Yes," continued Mr. Potter, "them fellers on board the Sally 
 Brown tuk a lot of water without askin fur it, an now, if you 
 don t call that makin war on defenseless people, I dunno what you 
 do call it." 
 
 "But," said I, "didn t the people in the Sally Brown pay for 
 the chickens ? " 
 
 "Wall, yes," said Mr. Opdyke, "sich pay as it was ; they only 
 gin six dollars, an Union dollars at that, for a dozen chickens, 
 while all along the river they charges six Confed rit dollars for one 
 chicken." 
 
 At this statement we all laughed, much to the annoyance of the 
 Southern sympathizers. " You larf now, Kurnel," said Mr. Potter, 
 "but you ll larf t other side of yer mouth afore you git to Vicks- 
 burg. Kirby Smith ll pickle you about twenty miles above here." 
 
 "Thank you, Mr. Potter, for your information," I said, "we 
 will try to be ready for him." 
 
 " Oh, he ll larf at them ole iron pots of yourn," said Mr. Potter, 
 pointing to the mortars. 
 
 "Well, Mr. Potter, please tell me how long you resided in Con 
 necticut." 
 
 "Now, Kurnel," said Mr. Potter, " I don t know as that s any 
 thing to you, but I don t mind tellin you I was there, man an 
 boy, fur twenty-nine year." 
 
 "And you, Mr. Opdyke ?" 
 
 "Well," he replied, "I lived there twenty-seven year." 
 
 " And do you mean to tell me that you two gentlemen, after 
 living in your native State twenty-nine and twenty-seven years, re 
 spectively, after forming the dearest ties and associations, can come 
 South and in two short years be won over by these people one of 
 you by hiring his cart, the other for I don t know what ? " 
 
 "Wall, Kurnel," said Mr. Potter, "you talk durned well, but 
 
MR. POTTER S STORY. 85 
 
 all them hifalutin words is wasted on me ; if you had married a 
 wildcat widder, with a wildcat darter sixteen years old, an* Jeff 
 Davis a backin on em up, you wouldn t a stood out an hour. I 
 stuck it out for three days an* nights, a sittin out in the rain, be 
 fore I became a Confed rit." 
 
 " Yes," interrupted Mr. Opdyke, " the ole woman kep a double- 
 barrel gun handy for him, an says she, Jake, don t you move till 
 you re ready to become one of us, or I ll work some button-holes in 
 your dam Yankee carcase ! 
 
 "And what made you surrender, Mr. Potter ?" I inquired. 
 
 "Why," replied that worthy, "when Zeke he come over to 
 fetch me some whisky, my old woman she run out and smashed the 
 bottle over Zeke s head, an then, when I was most starved an begged 
 for suthin to eat, she sent me a bowl o hot water with a chicken- 
 feather in it. Thar, says she, that ere chicken-soup is all you ll 
 git till you h ist the Confed rit flag. 1 So I had to cave in. Zeke can 
 tell you what I went through with ; you wouldn t have stood it 
 half a day, Kurnel, I know it by the cut of your jib." 
 
 " But how did you come to marry such a woman, Mr. Potter ?" 
 said I, sympathetically. 
 
 "Ah," replied the victim, "the Lord only knows. Zeke can 
 tell you all about it, but it overcomes me to think of it, unless I 
 have a drink of w isky." 
 
 I ordered the steward to bring up what was called on board 
 "vinegar bitters," but which I could not help suspecting was some 
 thing stronger. 
 
 Mr. Potter smacked his lips as he took the medicine. " That 
 there stuff is real ole Union, an no mistake. It held me back some 
 time afore I d think of jinin the Confed rits, for fear I d never be 
 able to go back an have a fling at the old critter. But you can call 
 us Jake an Zeke now, Kurnel, as much as you please. I ain t a 
 goin to stand on ceremony with a feller as keeps such likker as 
 that, an a man as sympathizes with another as you done with me. 
 Why, if I d a bin yer brother you couldn t a took more interest in 
 my case. Tell the kurnel all about it, Zeke." 
 
 "Yes," said his friend, "just as soon as I get a mouthful of 
 them bitters to sustain me while I relate that melancholy story ov 
 your marryin that durned alligator, as goes cavortin round the 
 house as if she owned all the guaner islands in the Pacific Ocean. 
 
 "Well, you must know, Kurnel, me an Jake was hired hands 
 on Mrs. Kumpkins s place. We was hired the day old Rumpkins 
 
86 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 died to help handle the coffin, an* two weeks arter I hearn that gal 
 of hern say, Ma, I m tired a totin wood an feedin the cow, an 
 we must have a man ter do it. 
 
 " * Well, said Mrs. Rumpkins, hain t we got two men ? Make 
 one of em tote wood ; they kin do it when they comes to their 
 meals. 
 
 " I asked one of em, said Belle, an he tole me he d see me 
 durned first. We don t want that kind of a man, ma ; we want a 
 married man ; we can do as we please with a good-natered feller 
 like ole Pop, who can t get away if we crowd him. You must 
 marry Jake or Zeke. If you don t I will, an I d like to hear him 
 say then that he ll see me durned first. 
 
 " You re crazy, Belle, says the ole catamount. Your pop s 
 only dead two weeks, an you want me to marry agin. 
 
 " Well, then, says Belle, say three weeks an bring him to the 
 halter, for I ain t a goin to tote no more wood, nor feed no more 
 cow arter that. 
 
 " Well, I agree to that, says old Mrs. Rumpkins. 
 
 " Cos if you don t, said Belle, I ll marry one on em myself, 
 an we ll see who is mistress then. 
 
 " I wish you could a seen how Mrs. Rumpkins laid out her lines. 
 You seen a cat watchin a canary-bird, ain t you ? an how the 
 critter crawls up an purrs soft as a Jew s-harp, an then you seen the 
 little bird jumpin round all in a twitter, an how at last, when the 
 canary clings with its claws to the wires of its cage, Mrs. Cat grabs 
 him, an he s a goner. 
 
 "That s the way Mrs. Rumpkins done. Says she, Belle, I ll 
 take Jake. I don t like that other feller ; he eats too much, an I ll 
 get rid of him. So she piled it up sweet on Jake until he didn t 
 know his alphabet from the multiplication table, an then she lassoed 
 him. You seen em catch cattle in Texas ? They have a long lariat, 
 an throw it over the critter s horns goin full split, an bring him 
 up all standin . Now Mrs. Rumpkins uses her long, oily tongue 
 for a lariat, an so wound it round poor Jake he couldn t a tole who 
 he was ; then, when he was quiet as an old horse with a cart-load 
 of bricks behind him, she marches him off to Squire Spanker s 
 office. 
 
 "Here, Squire, says she, is a man wot owes me reparation, 
 an I ll pay the two dollars fur the marriage ceremony, an here s 
 the same ring as poor, dear Rumpkins put on my finger, an I ll use 
 it agin. This ere feller is a Yank, an I want him to see that he 
 
MR. POTTER S MARITAL EXPERIENCES. 87 
 
 can t come down here an win the affections of a lone widder, an 
 then go off an larf at her. 
 
 " Well, sir, says the squire to Jake, ( what have you got to say 
 to these here charges ? 
 
 " Donno ! says Jake. 
 
 " Well, then, stan up an be married, or else be drafted into 
 the Confed rit army/ says the squire. So they was married then 
 an there, an the widder tuk his arm an toted him home, an says 
 she, Now, Jake, afore you get a bit of weddin -cake, tote in the 
 wood for the day, an mix the feed for the cow. Jake obeyed 
 orders, an has been the most successful husband I ever see. The 
 only time he ever showed a disposition to kick was when they 
 wanted him to turn Confed rit, an then the ole woman went for 
 Jake with a shot-gun. Now that s the whole story. We are both 
 Confeds, an you can t help us. Belle s got her eye on me, an I d 
 no more dare desert than nothin ! J 
 
 All this time Jake said nothing, but looked very melancholy. 
 
 " Well, Mr. Potter," I said, "you must keep up your spirits; 
 worse things have happened to people, and they have lived to get 
 over it." 
 
 " Yes," said the victim, "I might a-married em both to onct, 
 an then what would I do but jine the Confed rit army, an git a 
 Union bullet through me ?" 
 
 While all this was going on we had proceeded some distance up 
 the river. I therefore recommended that the two men should go 
 home, for fear Mrs. Potter would come after them. So they bade 
 us good-by, and stepped into their skiff with rather sorrowful 
 faces. Mr. Potter s last words were, "Kurnel, don t forget to say, 
 all along the river, what all-fired rebels we two fellers are. If I 
 warn t afeard the old woman would hear me for she has ears as 
 long as a telegraph-pole I d hip, hip, hurrah ! for the old flag ; 
 but it can t be did." 
 
 Mr. Potter s experience was a sad commentary on the matrimo 
 nial state ; but Mrs. Rumpkins must not be taken as a representa 
 tive Southern woman, for the women of the South, though of 
 Spartan character and willing to suffer everything rather than sac 
 rifice their opinions, have generally much gentleness and refine 
 ment. 
 
 That night we tied up to the bank at Landing, where some 
 
 of the bomb- vessels, alias "bummers," had preceded me. 
 
 When I arrived the levee was all lighted up by the bonfires 
 
88 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 which the negroes had kindled, which brought out in relief the 
 dusky forms of four or five hundred of the colored population, to 
 gether with the mansion of the owner of the estate, and the cabins 
 of the negroes. 
 
 On the front porch of the mansion were collected the gentlefolks, 
 their faces exhibiting some wonder and alarm. 
 
 As soon as the vessels were secured to the bank, we landed about 
 a hundred armed sailors and marched them to the rear of the 
 houses, as a precaution against an attack by guerrillas or light artil 
 lery, which had begun to infest the banks of the river. 
 
 I sent an officer at once to inform the lady of the mansion for 
 I was told there were only ladies there that she need be under no 
 apprehensions, as these were only sentries thrown out to keep the 
 sailors from wandering about her place. 
 
 In the mean time the negroes were so jubilant and boisterous 
 that they could not restrain themselves ; they danced about like 
 mad, and scattered the fire so that I began to fear the buildings 
 would be ignited from the flying sparks ; so I went on shore to have 
 a talk with them. All the negroes rushed up to me like wild men. 
 Some wanted to shake hands, some to sell chickens " only half 
 dollar piece, massa " ; some women wanted to know if I had "any 
 clo fo wash only dollar dozen, sah," while the pickaninnies were 
 turning somersaults almost into the fire. 
 
 " Look here," I exclaimed, " this won t do. You are disturb 
 ing the ladies at the house with your noise, and we can t sleep on 
 board the vessels with all this howling going on." 
 
 "Oh, de ladies don t mine de noise, Massa Capen ; dis is our 
 night (Saturday), when de work all done," said a dozen voices, "an 
 we want to ax you, sah, if you won t go coon-huntin ? " 
 
 "No, I thank you," said I; "but I ll tell you what I would 
 like : bring your banjos, and sing me a plantation song." 
 
 No sooner said than done ; three or four banjos, together with 
 bones and other accompaniments, were produced. I knew if I 
 could get the party to singing they would quiet down in a short 
 time, music has such an effect on them. 
 
 I sent for the ship s bugler, and told him to stand by to play 
 " Home, Sweet Home " when I gave the order, the negroes all 
 this time keeping up a great chattering, and seeming unable to 
 agree upon a programme, until a venerable darkey, in a voice of 
 authority, sang out, " Look hyar, you niggers ! don make fools 
 of yerse fs, an make dese gentlemen tink yer got no more manners 
 
UNCLE MOSES AND A NEGRO MELODY. 89 
 
 an a groun hog ! " at which speech the negroes all yelled, Bully 
 fer you, Uncle Moses ! " 
 
 At that moment the bugler struck up "Home, Sweet Home," 
 and you might have heard a pin drop. The only music these sim 
 ple-minded darkies had probably ever heard was that of the banjo. 
 They sat on the ground, eyes and mouth wide open, while old 
 Moses held up his finger, as if to enforce silence. 
 
 The bugler played until he was tired, when an unusually soft 
 "Ah! "came from the crowd; the ladies on the porch clapped 
 their hands. 
 
 "Now, bucks," exclaimed Uncle Moses, "dat s wot I calls 
 music ; better you all shut up shop and put yer ole banjos on de 
 fire dar ; yer can t come nothin like dat ober us. Yer mere infan s, 
 I done tell yer." 
 
 "Uncle Moses," said I, "don t discourage the boys. That 
 bugle music is a signal for all the sailors to go to bed and get some 
 rest, for they must work hard to-morrow. They want to hear you 
 sing Mary Blane, and after that you must all go home and keep 
 quiet." 
 
 " Dat s de kine ob talk dey wants, Massa Capen," said old Moses. 
 " Now, bucks, sit down and open yer music-boxes, an grease de cog 
 wheels afore yer begin." 
 
 A hundred voices, men and women, now joined in and sang the 
 negro melody in glorious fashion. It was the music of nature 
 given by these untaught negroes. " Mary Blane " rang in my ears 
 long afterward, and I could not sleep for thinking of it. 
 
 After the negroes had finished their song I said to Uncle 
 Moses, " I have heard music in the best opera-houses in the world, 
 but I never heard anything better than that." 
 
 "Fo de Lawd, you done spoil dem niggers, Massa Capen," said 
 old Moses. "Dey was wain enufE befo, an now dey ll be greasin 
 each other s faces an usin em for lookin -glasses to see how pretty 
 dey is." 
 
 "Moses," said I, "you seem to have great control over these 
 people. Are you going to lead them out of captivity as your name 
 sake of the Bible led the Israelites out of bondage ? " 
 
 "Well, Massa Capen," replied the old negro, "dese ere niggers 
 is like de Israelites ob ole in many respecs. If dere is a chicken on 
 a roost anywhere in de country dey will fine em out, an dey is a 
 stiff-neck people, dat goes wrong nine times to one time right. 
 Dey is a great trouble to me, sar. Dey talks about fightin for de 
 
90 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Unyum an Massa Abe Linkum, an dey knows as much bout fi tin 
 as a mule knows about playin de banjo. Dey is just fit to fight 
 coons an possums, but if dey was to meet a sojer wid a musket dar 
 shirt-tails would shiver in de wind wid de speed dey d make. Dey 
 don t know what dey want, an , like de Israelites ob ole, dey is tryin 
 all kind ob speriments. I wish you d talk to em, Massa Capen, 
 and splain to em what dey ought to do. You know, sar, what one 
 ob de poeks say ; I hear ole massa often tellin it : Better bear wid 
 a ole coat ef it is full ob holes dan go roun in your shirt-sleebes in 
 winter-time lookin for a new one. When you kin get a dish ob hog 
 an hominy fer dinner, better not leab it to look for somethin bet 
 ter. Dat s wot I calls filosophy." 
 
 "Uncle Moses," said I, "you are wise beyond your generation. 
 But tell me something about your mistress." 
 
 " Well, sar," said Uncle Moses, " she is a uncommon agreeable 
 pusson, though sometimes a leetle aggravatin . She likes to hab 
 her own way, an as I hab charge ob all dese bucks, I likes to hab 
 mine ; so occasionally we has disputes." 
 
 " Dispute with your mistress ! why, she has a right to her own 
 way, and you should see that she has it," I said. 
 
 " Sartin, sar, so I do ; but yesterday missus was real aggrayatin . 
 She say dar was a hole in de fence, an I say dar was a hole in de 
 fence, an we sputed about it mor n a hour." 
 
 "Why, Uncle Moses," said I, "that was a silly thing to dispute 
 about." 
 
 " P r aps so, Massa Capen, but it ain t no more silly dan what 
 you gemplems ob de Norf an gemplems ob de Souf been a doin . 
 De Souf say dar was a hole in de fence, an de Norf say dere was a 
 hole in de fence, an after sputin about it a long time, now dey go 
 to shootin about it." 
 
 " Uncle Moses," said I, "you don t understand it. We are dis 
 puting about the great principles of universal liberty." 
 
 " Yes," said the philosopher, "I knows dat. I hear em talkin 
 a great deal about de niggers will have suffrins at de poles fo long, 
 but I seen enough nigger suffrins, an don t want to see no more of 
 em." 
 
 "Why, Uncle Moses, you talk doubtfully, and I am really afraid 
 you are not sound on the goose." 
 
 "Yes, I know, Massa Capen, dey calls me doubtin Moses, an 
 I hab my own pinions. If I had my way I d be on de Canada side : 
 de colored man is safe dar, an no mistake. As to de equality ob de 
 
THE MISTRESS OF THE PLANTATION. 91 
 
 races I hear em talk about, why, some ob our bucks run away an 
 listed board a gun-boat, an spected to be treated just like white 
 men. Dey put dose bucks to shubbel coal an* workin before a hot 
 fire, an didn t eben gib um good hog an hominy." 
 
 "Oh," said I, "that s only a beginning. They ll do better by 
 and by." 
 
 " An in de mean time," said Moses, "dey is to be purified wid 
 fire an water. Some ob dem fellers from Massa Linkum s gun 
 boats tells de bucks if dey sabe de Unyum dey ll come out some day 
 in Congress. Yes, I knows, but dey ll be brushin de white man s 
 coats de same as dey been doin all dere lives. "White man an col 
 ored man two different tings ; one eat turkey an de odder hog 
 an hominy all he bo n days. Ole massa was de fust ob our family 
 what went to de war, an he fout de enemy to de las , but a rifle 
 kill him." 
 
 "A rifle, Uncle Moses ?" I inquired. 
 
 "Yes, sah," said Moses, "a demijohn ob rifle w isky what was 
 made on dis place. Ole massa taught me a good deal ; he was a 
 poeck, he was." 
 
 We now walked toward the house. Uncle Moses stepped to the 
 door and announced me. 
 
 I heard a pleasant voice say, "Ask the gentleman in, Moses," 
 and I entered. 
 
 Before me was a stately lady of perhaps forty years of age, still 
 handsome, with large black eyes and dark hair. 
 
 I excused myself for intruding upon her so late in the evening, 
 but explained that I could not call earlier on account of having so 
 much to attend to on board the vessels. 
 
 "You are excusable, sir," said Mrs. , "and I am glad you 
 
 have come, that I might thank you for the precautions you have 
 taken to prevent marauding. My servants have not been so orderly 
 before for a long time. They are out coon-hunting sometimes un 
 til nearly daylight in the morning, and their cries keep the family 
 awake half the night. They are not a bad set of people though, 
 and, if they had a master, could be easily managed, but a woman, of 
 course, can do little to control them. Moses is seventy years old, 
 and is not of much use now in helping govern the negroes, and he 
 is for ever disputing with me about trifles." 
 
 At that moment a door opened, and a youth of about nineteen 
 rushed into the room in a great state of excitement. 
 
 "Mother!" he exclaimed, "I am too late; they have sur- 
 
92 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 rounded the house, and I can t get back. I shall be taken pris 
 oner." 
 
 Just then he caught sight of me, and stood at bay. He was a 
 handsome fellow, with a strong likeness to his mother, and had on 
 a gray suit, which was nearly concealed by a linen duster. 
 
 "What do you want here, sir," said the youth, defiantly ; "why 
 intrude upon unprotected women ? " 
 
 "They are certainly not unprotected," I said, "with such a 
 brave defender as you by their side. I simply called to pay my re 
 spects to the lady of the mansion, and to thank her for permission 
 to land at her plantation." 
 
 "Which you took good care to do before asking permission," 
 said the young man, with flashing eyes. 
 
 " George ! George ! " exclaimed his mother, " this gentleman has 
 done nothing that we can possibly find fault with, so be careful 
 what you say. He may relieve you from your difficulty." 
 
 The boy still stood defiant, like a stag at bay, his hands clenched 
 and his eye glittering with anger. 
 
 "Of course, dear mother," he said, "I don t intend to be dis 
 courteous to this officer, who, notwithstanding his bland manners, 
 has surrounded the house and holds us all prisoners. If I had our 
 battery here we d clear the Yanks out in ten minutes." 
 
 "0 George!" pleaded his mother, "you will ruin yourself 
 and break my heart. Excuse me, sir, but he is my only son." 
 
 " Who is perfectly safe with me, madam, for I assure you I have 
 not the least idea of molesting him. " 
 
 " Then let me pass through your lines," said the young man ; 
 "prove your expressions true by your acts. I must go or be dis 
 honored." 
 
 Just then a young girl entered the room. She looked like a 
 panther about to spring. "They are not going to take George, 
 mother ! What does this mean ? " she said, and her eyes flashed fire. 
 
 There was no need to ask if these young people were brother and 
 sister, their likeness to each other was so striking. I looked at 
 them in admiration, and could not help wishing myself the young 
 lady s brother, to call forth such affection from such a lovely speci 
 men of womanhood. 
 
 "There is no occasion for alarm, young lady," I said. "I shall 
 not trouble myself to capture unarmed persons, even although they 
 may choose to wear a uniform which is not the most agreeable to 
 Northern eyes." 
 
A YOUNG CONFEDERATE. 93 
 
 "It is the uniform of my country," said the young man, "and 
 I am not ashamed of it. " 
 
 "Then," I said, "if you wish to honor it and belong, as pos 
 sibly you may, to "Whistler s Battery, now some twenty miles 
 above here let me advise you never to sully your honor by firing 
 at unarmed steamers ; war is a dreadful thing at best make it as 
 merciful as you can. For my part, I shall endeavor while this con 
 flict lasts not to molest persons who may be apparently following 
 peaceful pursuits. Vindictive warfare can only result in embitter 
 ing people. If you know of any persons who are about to engage 
 in hostilities against my command, say to them that when I leave 
 this landing I shall tow the schooners in line ahead. The schoon 
 ers carry thirty-eight heavy guns, and the steamers that tow them 
 forty-two. To attack them with field-pieces would be a piece of 
 gasconade, for I could sweep a dozen batteries from off the earth, 
 and our shells might set fire to distant houses whose inmates had 
 no idea of injuring us. And now, sir, for your mother s and sister s 
 sake you may take your horse and go." 
 
 " Well, sir," said the youngster, "my hand will fire no shot at 
 you or yours, and I will report what you have said." 
 
 I raised the window and signaled to the patrol. " Let this gen 
 tleman pass with his horse. Good-night, sir, and a pleasant jour 
 ney to you." 
 
 The young man took leave of his mother and sister, bowed to 
 me, and in a few minutes his horse s hoofs were heard as he galloped 
 down the road. 
 
 The mother thanked me for permitting her son to depart. 
 
 " I could have done you a greater favor by sending him north 
 as a prisoner," I replied ; "it might have saved his life ; he is too 
 young for such adventures." 
 
 I bade the ladies good-night, hoping I had at least planted one 
 seed toward reconciliation. 
 
 Next morning Moses and his " bucks " were at the levee to see 
 us off. "Keep your bucks in order, Moses," I said. "I shall be 
 back here soon, and, if I find they haven t behaved themselves, will 
 set them to shoveling coal." 
 
 "Ah, Massa Capen," said the philosopher, "I kin punish em 
 worse dan dat. I stops dar bacon an hominy an terbacker. If 
 dese niggers don t behave themselves, they shan t see de sight ob a 
 chicken, an if dere s anyt ing a nigger do lub, it s de sight ob a 
 chicken on de roost." 
 
94: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "And don t dispute with your mistress any more, Uncle Moses." 
 
 "Well, sar," lie replied, "we done had a spute already dis 
 mornin . I said you was a Unyum ossifer, an she say you was a 
 Unyum ossifer, an* we spute about it ober a hour. God bless you, 
 Massa Capen, an see dat dey don gib us po niggers any more suf- 
 frins at de poles." 
 
 We were not molested in our progress up the river, and in due 
 time reached Vicksburg, where Farragut was awaiting us to com 
 mence operations against the forts. 
 
 I will here mention that the young fellow to whom I have al 
 luded was killed at the battle of Mansfield, on Red River, when 
 General Banks and myself went up that stream in the spring of 
 1864. On a subsequent visit to the plantation I found the mother 
 and sister plunged in grief. This was only one of many instances 
 where young lives were thrown away in a hopeless cause. 
 
 Uncle Moses had proved true to his trust, but all his young 
 "bucks" had gone on the warpath, joining the army as teamsters or 
 enlisting on board "Mr. Linkum s gun-boats." 
 
 "Massa Capen," said Moses," the Unyum Gub ment done make 
 all de black folks contraban ; now, sar, what s dat ?" 
 
 " Why, Moses," said I, " that s putting a high tariff on you to 
 protect you against foreign darkies. Contraband articles are those 
 which are almost prohibited, and the Government claims the right 
 to take you into service as contraband of war, so that the enemy 
 can not use you to work for them and against us." 
 
 " Bress de Laud ! " exclaimed the old man, " niggers is some 
 consequence. I hope to see de Norf yet afore I die. Ya ! ya ! ya ! 
 I ll make all dem bucks dress me now as Mister Contraban Moses. 
 Good-by, Massa Capen ; I s mos sorry de war so nigh ober, cos I s 
 fraid de niggers won t be no more consekence. Hope to see yer in 
 Congeress some ob dese days, do dis ole darkey may be brushin* 
 close and shinin Norfern an Suffern gemplemen s boots." 
 
AFTER THE CAPTURE OF NEW ORLEANS. 95 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 PLANS FOB THE CAPTURE OF VICKSBURG UNFORTUNATE DE 
 LAYSTHE MORTAR BOATS AT YICKSBURG A SPY AND AN 
 ATTEMPTED SURPRISE. 
 
 AT the time I made the proposition for the capture of New Or 
 leans, which also included the capture of Vicksburg, President Lin 
 coln left it to General McClellan and myself to arrange the plans. 
 The general considered that ten thousand troops were sufficient to 
 hold the city after the navy had captured it, and that an additional 
 ten thousand could be landed at Vicksburg under the guns of the 
 navy, and hold that place against any force the Confederates could 
 bring against it. 
 
 Had this plan been carried out, the result would have been the 
 grandest achievement of the war, and we would have accomplished, 
 with comparatively little loss of life, what eventually cost a great 
 deal of bloodshed and a vast outlay of money. 
 
 When New Orleans fell, the people all along the Mississippi were 
 astounded, for such a contingency had never entered into their cal 
 culations. They considered the forts, Jackson and St. Philip, im 
 pregnable, and the rams and ironclads quite sufficient to destroy the 
 entire Union navy. 
 
 In consequence of this feeling of security the large towns above 
 New Orleans were unfortified and Vicksburg had very few guns 
 mounted. If, then, the victory at New Orleans had been followed 
 up rapidly by ships and soldiers sent to Vicksburg, the latter place 
 would have fallen easily into our possession. 
 
 It is not my intention here to give a history of the war. I have 
 written a full account of all the events that came under my cog 
 nizance during the conflict, which may or may not be published at 
 some future time, but I can not help recalling President Lincoln s 
 words as we were planning this expedition. 
 
 "See," said Mr. Lincoln, pointing to the map, "what a lot of 
 land these fellows hold, of which Vicksburg is the key. Here is 
 Ked River, which will supply the Confederates with cattle and corn 
 to feed their armies. There are the Arkansas and White Rivers, 
 which can supply cattle and hogs by the thousand. From Vicks 
 burg these supplies can be distributed by rail all over the Confed- 
 
96 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 eracy. Then there is that great depot of supplies on the Yazoo. 
 Let us get Vicksburg and all that country is ours. The war can 
 never be brought to a close until that key is in our pocket. I am 
 acquainted with that region and know what I am talking about, 
 and, valuable as New Orleans will be to us, Vicksburg will be more 
 so. We may take all the northern ports of the Confederacy, and 
 they can still defy us from Vicksburg. It means hog and hominy 
 without limit, fresh troops from all the States of the far South, and 
 a cotton country where they can raise the staple without interfer 
 ence." 
 
 Mr. Lincoln s capacious mind took in the whole subject, and he 
 made it plain to the dullest comprehension. A military expert 
 could not have more clearly defined the advantages of the proposed 
 campaign. 
 
 Mr. Lincoln was, in fact, the one who, after the thing had been 
 proposed to him, was most active in urging it on. Everybody who 
 knew anything about the strength of the forts was called in, includ 
 ing General Barnard. The President would come in while McClel- 
 lan and myself were discussing the matter and have his say, and 
 there was wisdom in all his suggestions. 
 
 Carefully as the project of capturing Vicksburg was planned, it 
 was not executed. Why, I do not know. I presume Farragut de 
 layed his advance from New Orleans until he could secure the neces 
 sary troops to hold Vicksburg. I urged pushing on to Vicksburg, 
 instead of which I was pushed on to Ship Island, a delightful retreat 
 where General Butler used to send rebellious women who hooted at 
 the Union flag. 
 
 It was at least a month after my arrival at Ship Island when I 
 received a letter from General Butler, informing me that Farragut 
 had gone to Vicksburg with his fleet and wanted the mortar flotilla 
 there to bombard the forts. So it appears that in the short inter 
 val between our taking New Orleans and getting to Vicksburg the 
 Confederates had erected heavy batteries at the latter point, sending 
 all the way to Richmond and Norfolk for guns and munitions of 
 war. 
 
 I presume that when Farragut found he could not get the 
 troops he required to hold Vicksburg, he sent a detachment of ves 
 sels up to demand its surrender. The officer in command opened 
 negotiations with the Mayor, who was courtesy itself, while devis 
 ing ways and means by which to protract the conference. 
 
 The officer sent to confer with him was no match for the Mayor 
 
THE DEFENSES OF VICKSBURG. . 97 
 
 in diplomacy, and, after a week s negotiation and exchange of cour 
 tesies, the latter gentleman informed the officer that if he wanted 
 Vicksburg he must come and take it, and, as the Union flag was 
 offensive to the citizens, he (the Mayor) must insist on its being 
 withdrawn, otherwise it would be fired upon. 
 
 While this "pow-wow" was going on, the whole power of the 
 Confederacy was put in operation to save Vicksburg. Guns were 
 brought from Jackson and masked batteries erected during the 
 night, and the heaviest ordnance the Confederates had was hurried 
 from Richmond by rail. Not an hour was lost, and by the time 
 the officer had returned to Farragut with the Mayor s defiant 
 speech, Vicksburg was transformed into a small Gibraltar. 
 
 President Lincoln must have been vexed when he found that he 
 had lost the key to the situation, and that "the backbone of the re 
 bellion " would not be broken for some time. 
 
 When Farragut heard how matters stood he started at once with 
 his whole force to try and carry out the designs of the Government 
 on Vicksburg, but he found a difficult task before him. The sum 
 mit of the heights at Vicksburg, two hundred and eighty feet 
 above the river, had been strongly fortified with heavy rifled guns, 
 which his old-fashioned smooth-bores could not reach, and should 
 he attempt to pass the batteries or bombard them, the chances were 
 his ships would be destroyed. He had no force to land and take the 
 place, for the Confederate army at Vicksburg was estimated at ten 
 thousand men, who had been hurried thither from every quarter 
 where they could be spared. 
 
 Every day the rebels would mount additional heavy guns on the 
 heights, and they built a water-battery of twelve heavy guns about 
 half a mile from the levee, called by our sailors "The Twelve 
 Apostles." The heaviest gun they called "St. Paul the great 
 X-pounder," i. e., X-inch rifle. 
 
 Farragut could not bombard the forts on the heights with his 
 ships, nor could he land, and he was too humane to shell the city, 
 so he sent all the way to Ship Island for the mortar flotilla. 
 
 When the flotilla arrived it could reach the forts on the hill 
 tops and silence their fire, but the enemy s gunners would run to 
 their bomb-proofs when they saw a shell coming, and, as soon as it 
 burst, would fly to their guns again. This kind of warfare was 
 kept up for several days, no one being hurt so far as I know on the 
 Confederate side, but a great deal of ammunition was expended on 
 both sides. The "key" that President Lincoln desired so much 
 7 
 
98 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 remained in the rebel pocket, and it cost millions of dollars and 
 many lives to get it out. 
 
 After a heavy day s hammering of the forts by the mortars, 
 Farragut passed the batteries with his ships and carried out his 
 orders to make a junction with Flag-Officer Davis above Vicksburg ; 
 but, although he could pass and repass the batteries, he saw that it 
 was useless to sacrifice the lives of his officers and men merely for 
 sentiment s sake, so he notified the Navy Department that he could 
 do no more. 
 
 I found a great difference between bombarding a fort of ma 
 sonry and a chain of earthworks that could have defied ten times 
 our force, and I soon made up my mind that the "key" would not 
 be forthcoming this time. 
 
 The mortar vessels were anchored close to the levee, ten of them 
 only twenty-two hundred yards from the enemy s works, but con 
 cealed behind a thick wood. The other eight vessels were on the 
 opposite side of the river, twenty-seven hundred yards from the 
 forts, and were fair targets for the enemy, yet none of their hulls 
 were touched, though hundreds of shot and shell whistled over 
 them. 
 
 Finding that they could do the mortar vessels no harm, and 
 that they were injuring their guns and wasting their ammunition, 
 the enemy determined to try and capture the flotilla with a land 
 force, but, as I had calculated on this, I was duly prepared for it. 
 
 On the Vicksburg side of the river were ten mortar vessels tied 
 to the bank, with a space of ten feet between them and the levee. 
 Six steamers were anchored on the port quarter of the schooners, 
 and two others were in line ahead, all with broadsides bearing on 
 the thick wood which covered the flotilla. In the middle of this 
 wood were almost impassable swamps, which formed a perfect pro 
 tection against an advance of troops from that direction. On the 
 edge of the swamps pits had been dug five feet deep, and from 
 these pits lines were extended to a bell mounted on shore, which 
 was to be struck by men stationed in the pits once or twice, accord 
 ing to circumstances. 
 
 I was one day on shore looking at the defenses against a land 
 attack, when a negro emerged from the woods, saw me, and ap 
 peared to hesitate whether he should advance, but, while thus un 
 decided, two patrolmen slipped up behind him and marched him in. 
 
 He was a sleek-looking darkey, clad in a good suit of clothes of 
 a scholastic cut an entirely different st}^le of negro from old Uncle 
 
A SUSPICIOUS NEGRO PREACHER. 99 
 
 Moses, the patriarch of " s Landing." In fact, this person s 
 
 appearance was not prepossessing. 
 
 When I asked him what he was doing, he answered, " I m a 
 contraban , sar, makin my escape to the Ian ob freedom. My 
 name is Brutus Munroe. I m a pastor, sar." 
 
 " And, pray, to what denomination do you belong ? " I inquired. 
 
 " Sar," he replied, "I m a anarkist an orthodox up to de hub. 3 
 
 " An anarkist ? And, pray, what is that ? " said I. 
 
 "Well, sar," said the preacher, "I believes all about de ark an 
 de animiles wot went in, an I preaches dat doctrine to my people. 
 I preaches de millanium to my people, sar, an tells dem de time 
 am comin when de lion an* de lam will lie down togedder." 
 
 "I suppose, Mr. Munroe," said I, "that when that happy day 
 arrives the lion will lie down with the lamb inside of him." 
 
 "Mebbe so, sar," answered the sleek preacher ; "an if de lam 
 fines a comfortable bed dar I don see why he should objec . We is 
 all ob us lam s or lions ; human natur is eberywhar de same, an 
 de big critters eats up de little ones." 
 
 "Well, now, tell me," said I to the preacher, "how many 
 troops have the Confederates in Vicksburg." 
 
 " Bout a hunder tousand, sar," he answered, promptly. 
 
 "And how many guns mounted ?" 
 
 " Bout a hunder fifty, sar, an trains comin in wid em all de 
 time." 
 
 " Then there is no chance for us to take the place, is there ?" 
 said I. 
 
 " Oh, no, sar ! " exclaimed the preacher ; " a milyon men couldn t 
 took it, it s so strong, sar." 
 
 I saw that I had got hold of a first-class romancer, and that it 
 wouldn t do to depend on Brutus s statements. 
 
 " Well," said I, "you say you are a Union man ?" 
 
 "Yes, sar, I prays fo de President an all oders in autority ebery 
 Sunday befo my people." 
 
 " But which President do you pray for ?" 
 
 "I prays for em bof, sar Massa Linkum an Massa Davis for 
 dey bof stans in need ob prayer." 
 
 "But, Brutus," said I, "what side are you on ?" 
 
 "Well, sar," he answered, "I am just now on de Lawd s side ; 
 but, Massa Captin, I see you done makin prep rations to go way. 
 You ain t out ob powder, is you ? " 
 
 "No, Brutus," said I, "we are going to stay here till the mel- 
 
100 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 lenium and blow all these hills down. We won t leave a mouse in 
 Vicksburg." 
 
 " Den dat s wy you is trowin up dem intrenchmen s. You is 
 guardin gainst precautions." 
 
 All the time Mr. Munroe was talking his eyes were wandering 
 in every direction. At length I said to him, " How do you like 
 the looks of things ? Do you think you can remember it all ? " 
 
 The preacher started ; doubtless he would have turned pale if 
 he had not been so very black. 
 
 " Ise got a werry bad mem ry, sar. I see you is busy, an I 
 mought as well be goin ," and he started off. 
 
 " Stop ! " said I ; " you must stay and dine with me." 
 
 " No, tank you, sar," said Brutus. " I mus go to Warrenton, 
 whar I hole a convention wid a pastor of an odder diocese. I ll 
 call anodder time, an ll see you offen if you stops here till de mil- 
 lanium." 
 
 I beckoned the two patrolmen who had brought Mr. Brutus to 
 the levee. They immediately took charge of that worthy and pre 
 pared to march him away. 
 
 "In God s name, sar," exclaimed Brutus, who trembled like a 
 leaf, " wha yer gwine ter do ter me ? " 
 
 " Nothing except shoot you as a spy, Mr. Brutus." 
 
 I directed that the preacher should be carefully searched and 
 then confined on the berth-deck of one of the schooners, with a 
 sentry over him. I was satisfied that the negro was a spy, since 
 the Confederate lines were drawn so close that no contraband could 
 pass them without their connivance. It was not often that the 
 colored men acted as spies, but this was evidently an instance of it. 
 
 One of the officers devised a scheme to draw the rascal out. He 
 selected the most intelligent negro from among our "contrabands," 
 and, after instructing him in the part he was to play, had him con 
 veyed on board the schooner where Brutus was, and tumbled down 
 by his side. 
 
 The new-comer began to weep and throw himself about, as if 
 in great agony of mind, until the preacher sternly remarked to 
 him, " Don t yer make fool ob youse f ! Whar is yer from, any 
 how?" 
 
 " Jist fo mile below Warrenton, sah," said the pretended pris 
 oner. " Wy, I m one ob yer flock ; I hears yer preach offen." 
 
 "Dat s nat ral," said the preacher. "De big magnet draw all 
 de little bits ob iron to it." 
 
AN ATTACK. 101 
 
 "But, mister, dey done gwine ter shoot me to-morrow, an den 
 wot good ll de magnet do me ? " 
 
 " Hush ! " said Brutus ; " shut yer mud-hole, an don t boo-hoo 
 so." And he whispered to his companion, "Ef dey don t shoot us 
 bef o f o clock dis arternoon, dey ll nebber hab anodder chance ! " 
 
 "Wot yer mean ?" said the other, drying his eyes ; but Brutus 
 sat silent, not deigning to be more explicit. 
 
 At length the colored detective was taken violently ill, and, 
 upon being carried on deck, related all that had passed between 
 him and the preacher. It was not much, but I gathered that we 
 were to be attacked about four o clock, which was about the 
 time we ceased firing the mortars each day, to let the men go to 
 supper. 
 
 Preparations were made to receive any number that might assail 
 us, for, in spite of Brutus, I knew there could not be more than 
 fifteen thousand Confederates in and around Vicksburg. 
 
 By two o clock all was ready ; one watch at the guns, the other 
 ready to join in, every man with a musket at hand, and the mor 
 tars loaded with but half a pound of powder, so as to land the 
 shells just inside the woods. Then we waited. 
 
 About three o clock there was a tap on the bell, then another, 
 showing that the enemy was advancing through the woods, and in 
 a few moments about twenty men rushed from their cover toward 
 the bank, and were received by a volley of musketry. 
 
 Four of the enemy, including their leader, a sergeant, fell, and 
 the rest took to their heels when they found we were ready for 
 them. 
 
 At the same moment our steamers opened fire on the woods 
 with shell and shrapnel, and kept it up for twenty minutes with 
 twenty-four large broadside guns, which mowed down the trees as 
 the reaper mows down grain ! 
 
 All we saw of the enemy was the four men who were killed, and 
 about a dozen others who retreated. I could only conjecture what 
 force of the enemy was approaching under cover of the woods ; but 
 the precautions taken had evidently prevented the loss of some of 
 our men, although no serious disaster was likely to befall us. 
 
 As soon as possible I sent a reconnoitring party into the woods, 
 and found the two men stationed in the pits. Both were safe in 
 their holes ; our shells had exploded well away from them, and 
 they had been in no danger. But beyond them it looked as if a 
 select assortment of thunderbolts had swept over the landscape. 
 
102 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Great trees were shattered ; the ground was furrowed in every 
 direction, and covered with splinters of all shapes and sizes. 
 
 There was no enemy in sight, but every evidence that one had 
 been there in the castaway knapsacks, caps, shoes, and muskets ; 
 and in the swamp was found a pair of officer s long boots, with the 
 toes pointing toward Vicksburg. I don t blame the officer for 
 abandoning his boots, for, under the circumstances, there was no 
 other course to pursue. 
 
 The two men in the pits reported that some twenty men came 
 in around the swamp to the left, and headed for the mortar 
 schooners. They were followed by a column of soldiers, the end of 
 which they did not see. At about the same time another column 
 came around the other side of the swamp, and when within two 
 hundred yards of the edge of the woods the firing commenced with 
 musketry, and then the shells came crashing through the forest. 
 
 There was a sudden halt, and then a rapid retreat across the 
 swamp, many of the soldiers up to their middle in the mud and 
 water. 
 
 When I looked at the place I wondered how any man in his 
 senses could get up such an expedition. No army could have stood 
 ten minutes before the fire we opened on these evidently raw re 
 cruits, and no doubt their experience on this occasion increased 
 their respect for "Lincoln s gun-boats." 
 
 The Confederates troubled us no more, and I had no idea of 
 wasting shells on those solid hill-sides ; it was different from batter 
 ing a fort and shattering casemates of masonry. 
 
 From the time I arrived before Vicksburg I had wondered what 
 had become of the ubiquitous iron-clad ram which always made its 
 appearance from some unexpected quarter at some unexpected 
 time. 
 
 After I left Vicksburg the ram did come out of the Yazoo River, 
 at the time when Flag-Officer Davis had joined Farragut with his 
 squadron from the upper Mississippi. 
 
 The ram had been generally considered a myth, for how was it 
 possible for the Confederates to build such a vessel in so short a 
 time on these inland waters ? 
 
 However, down she came one fine morning, and passed un 
 scathed through the whole line of our vessels, dealing death and 
 destruction as she passed. The ships poured broadsides of solid 
 shot into her, but they rolled from her sides like water from a 
 duck s back. That time the Confederates had the laugh on us, 
 
PASTOR BRUTUS MUNROE. 103 
 
 and, when I heard of the adventure, I thought of Mr. Brutus 
 Munroe s sage remark about "guardin agin all precautions." 
 
 Previous to this episode of the ram I was ordered by the Navy 
 Department to proceed north with ten of the mortar vessels to bom 
 bard Fort Darling, on the James River, and, much to my regret, I 
 was compelled to leave my comrades before Vicksburg, which place 
 I was sure would never be taken by the means that were then being 
 used. 
 
 Farragut did all that was possible under the circumstances, and 
 did not leave until he had demonstrated the impossibility of reduc 
 ing the place without the aid of a large army. 
 
 Before I left Vicksburg I sought a final interview with Pastor 
 Brutus Munroe, of the Anarkist Church. 
 
 A week s close confinement had told on Mr. Munroe, and he did 
 not look so sleek by a good deal. 
 
 " Well, sir," said I, " what have you to say for yourself ? Don t 
 you think you deserve hanging as the biggest rascal in the coun 
 try?" 
 
 "Well, sar," said Brutus, " a soft answer turneff way raff. 
 De Lawd temper de water to de scalded hog. Pearances is agin 
 me, sar, but I is innocent, deed I is." 
 
 "What do you say, then," I inquired, "about going north in 
 this vessel and serving under the Union flag ? " 
 
 Brutus scratched his head. "But who s gwine to took care ob 
 my flock wen dar pastor done gone to de Norf ? Dey ll all go 
 straight to de debbel, sar ;, dey forgits in a week all dat I m a month 
 a teachin em." 
 
 "Well, then, Brutus," said I, "go and sin no more, and try 
 and keep your neck out of the halter. " So I dismissed the preacher, 
 who disappeared in the direction of Warrenton, and I never saw 
 him again. 
 
 After the fall of Yicksburg, Colonel Higgins, who had been the 
 commandant of Fort Jackson, again fell into our hands. He gave 
 me an account of the unfortunate expedition against the mortar 
 vessels. The Confederates supposed that Brutus had betrayed 
 them, and if he had returned to Vicksburg he would most likely 
 have been shot. Receiving, no doubt, some intimation of what was 
 in store for him, the worthy preacher disappeared to parts unknown. 
 
104: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 PASSAGE OF THE MORTAR FLEET DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER 
 A REVIEW AT NATCHEZ A ROSE IN THE DESERT HONORS TO 
 FARRAGUT AFTER HIS DEATH. 
 
 MY return down the Mississippi with the ten mortar schooners 
 in tow was monotonous, although we were occasionally enlivened on 
 passing a town by seeing people nocking to the river-bank to look 
 at us. 
 
 When we passed up everything was in mourning ; very few peo 
 ple showed themselves, except negroes ; it was as if the white popu 
 lation had run away and hidden themselves. They had been taught 
 that we were a set of buccaneers who were liable to commit any 
 atrocities, and that a policy of non-intercourse with us was most 
 advisable. When the people, however, saw so many war vessels 
 pass up the river without doing any injury to private property or 
 to unarmed citizens, they began to think we had been libeled, and 
 even to suspect we were more to be trusted than those who were 
 marking all the products of their industry "0. S. A.," and paying 
 for the same in worthless Confederate currency. 
 
 There were some persons, no doubt, who saw plainly enough 
 that the United States Government would never again allow the 
 control of the Mississippi River to slip out of their hands, since it 
 was so comparatively easy to hold it, with the numerous gun-boats 
 at their disposal, in spite of rebel rams and other appliances of the 
 enemy. 
 
 One after another the people saw the heavy works deemed im 
 pregnable by the Confederates fall into our hands, there to remain 
 until the authority of the Government should be firmly established 
 throughout the land. After the capture of New Orleans it was ap 
 parent that the power of the South was broken, and the people along 
 the river were soon of the same opinion. 
 
 Vicksburg alone blocked the way, but our army and navy were 
 gradually encircling it in their coils, and its capture was only a mat 
 ter of time. 
 
 When we passed Natchez, on our way up the river, every one 
 had retired to their houses, not a straggler was in sight, and, not 
 knowing exactly what kind of a reception we would encounter, we 
 stood to our guns. 
 
PEOPLE OF NATCHEZ NOT UNFRIENDLY. 105 
 
 Coining down, we gave ourselves no concern about hostile acta 
 from the towns below Vicksburg, knowing the people were too wise 
 to interfere with us. 
 
 As we approached Natchez I had the officers dress in uniform 
 and the crews in white, while the mast-heads were decorated with 
 our best flags. Our decks were polished as white as possible, and 
 everything about the vessels bore that appearance of order and neat 
 ness which characterizes well-disciplined vessels of war. 
 
 As we rounded the point and came in sight of Natchez, the 
 hills were covered with men, women, and children, apparently 
 dressed in their best clothes. The white dresses and gay parasols 
 of the ladies against the green background made a charming pic 
 ture. It looked as if all Natchez had assembled to welcome victors 
 from a battle-field. 
 
 As we passed close in to the shore many spy-glasses were leveled 
 on us, and we were so near that we could even see the expression 
 on people s faces. It was rather of surprise than hostility as they 
 scanned the forms of more than a hundred well-dressed officers, 
 who would have given a month s pay to have had a chance to dance 
 the lancers with these pretty rebels. 
 
 From appearances, we judged that, should we land, we would 
 receive a friendly welcome, although, perhaps, they were all in such 
 good humor because of a telegram just received from Vicksburg 
 announcing the fact that many of the mortar vessels had been de 
 stroyed and the rest had sought safety in flight. 
 
 This precious piece of news we heard from an "intelligent con 
 traband," who boarded us in a canoe soon after we passed Natchez, 
 and he informed us that the people had assembled to witness our 
 discomfiture. 
 
 If, however, they expected to see shot-riddled hulls, they were 
 disappointed, for not a scratch was visible ; and the jolly sailors, 
 standing in picturesque groups, gave the lie to the bombastic dis 
 patch sent from Vicksburg. 
 
 At the same time, as we had learned by experience not to put 
 implicit faith in the statements of the negroes, we thought it likely 
 that this one had exaggerated the matter. 
 
 Whatever the people of Natchez may have heard, their bearing 
 toward us was not unfriendly. Curiosity seemed their leading mo 
 tive, and it was justified by the procession of well-armed vessels 
 passing their town. 
 
 One lively gentleman, who rode down to the bank on horseback, 
 
106 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 appeared to be an oracle, as lie was surrounded by a crowd of per 
 sons to whom he seemed to be answering questions. He examined 
 us critically through a large lorgnette, perhaps in search of the 
 mythical shot-holes. 
 
 We passed and made no sign, gliding quietly along with the 
 current like specter vessels, leaving the great crowd behind us and 
 approaching the lower part of the city, when I saw standing in the 
 doorway of an arbor covered with clematis a young girl of about 
 fourteen, dressed in white, with a chip hat, holding in one hand a 
 white handkerchief and in the other a blue parasol. 
 
 We were so close to her that I could note the expression of her 
 countenance without the aid of a glass as she vigorously waved her 
 handkerchief, while I waved mine in return. 
 
 Then she opened her parasol and displayed a small Union 
 flag, which she kissed and pressed to her heart ; and so she stood 
 until we passed, concealed from the crowd above by the small 
 arbor. 
 
 Many in our flotilla noticed the act and removed their caps ; 
 then the flag disappeared within the folds of the parasol, and 
 the maiden stood looking after us until we were out of sight, as if 
 loath to lose sight of the stars and stripes. 
 
 Whether or not she suffered for her temerity we never knew, but 
 let us hope her noble act was only seen by those for whom it was 
 intended. 
 
 I shall never forget that little maiden, and, should she chance to 
 read these pages, she will know that her courage was appreciated. 
 
 THE EOSE IN THE DESERT. 
 
 Farewell, little maid, may the rose and the vine 
 
 Thy beautiful arbor forever entwine, 
 
 Thy heroic act has made it divine ; 
 
 Thou rt a rose in the desert, where the flowers perfume 
 
 Don t often linger, and where flowers don t bloom. 
 
 Yet one dewdrop may reach the heart of a rose 
 
 Which, refreshing its life, in the desert it grows. 
 
 Twas the flash of a dream, a vision of light, 
 
 A sweet emblem of faith, when you burst on my sight. 
 
 Like the maid of the mist, in the soft vapor spray 
 
 Your young face with its halo soon melted away. 
 
 But that form in its glory will ever remain 
 
 Impressed on my soul though we ne er meet again. 
 
IMPORTANCE OF THE CAPTURE OF NEW ORLEANS. 107 
 
 There s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip, 
 But whenever the rich flowing beaker I sip 
 I ll drink a good health in a bumper of wine 
 "Wherever I am, and that toast shall be thine. 
 
 As we passed on down the Mississippi all seemed peaceful and 
 quiet, and whatever may have been the heart-burnings and hostility 
 to the Union, they were not exhibited. 
 
 They assumed a virtue if they had it not. Steamers were ply 
 ing on the river bearing the Union flag, and the same flag floated 
 over the barracks at Baton Rouge, where troops were stationed to 
 preserve order in that neighborhood. It may not have been alto 
 gether agreeable to the residents, but it was beneficial to the com 
 munity at large. 
 
 As we slipped past New Orleans I noticed that the shipping had 
 greatly increased since I had last seen the place. Many Union and 
 foreign flags were flying from the mast-heads, and the levee had 
 quite a lively appearance. 
 
 General Butler was still in the ascendant, putting on all the 
 style of a viceroy and slowly bringing order out of chaos. 
 
 There were many complaints against his administration, but it 
 must be said that as long as people conformed to the regulations he 
 established they got along well enough. 
 
 People in a conquered city can not dictate terms to the con 
 querors, and municipal laws must give way to military regula 
 tions. 
 
 From New Orleans to the mouth of the Mississippi Union 
 authority prevailed, and one would hardly have supposed that a 
 different state of affairs had so lately existed. This condition was 
 assured for the future, for no power in the Southern Confederacy 
 could change it. 
 
 All this was the result of the navy s work in beating down the 
 defenses of New Orleans. The people of the United States have 
 never realized the importance of the capture of New Orleans the 
 most brilliant affair of the war. That the entire plan of the cam 
 paign was not carried out does not detract from the gallantry and 
 importance of this achievement. 
 
 Had a British naval officer performed such a service as Farragut 
 for his country, he would have received the highest honors and the 
 most splendid pecuniary rewards. But only when the war was 
 over was Farragut given the rank of admiral with a salary quite 
 inadequate to maintain his position, and seven thousand dollars less 
 
108 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 than the pay of the corresponding rank in the army, or only about 
 equal to the emoluments of a major-general. 
 
 When Farragut died the Government indeed paid his memory 
 the highest honors that it could, and Congress, with what seemed 
 to them unbounded liberality, bestowed upon his widow an annual 
 pension of two thousand dollars about one fifteenth of one per 
 cent interest on what Farragut s captures added to the Naval Pen 
 sion Fund. 
 
 These things show plainly enough that those who employed 
 Admiral Farragut and appropriated a great deal of credit for what 
 he accomplished were remiss in not making greater efforts to see 
 him amply rewarded. 
 
 Honors are very grateful things, but they become onerous unless 
 accompanied with the means of maintaining properly the position 
 of the recipient, and thus enabling him to keep the wolf from the 
 door. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 GETTING TO SEA IK THE STEAMER HARRIET LANE PASSING 
 COCKPIT POINT BATTERIES A SOUTHERN-BORN OFFICER LOY 
 AL TO THE STARS AND STRIPES HIS DEATH AT GALVESTON. 
 
 As this is not a continuous narrative, I can not well maintain 
 strict order in my reminiscences. I jot down the recollections as 
 they come up in my memory. 
 
 At the time the mortar flotilla was fitted out I had no vessel 
 assigned for myself among all the curious craft the Navy Depart 
 ment was buying up. It was natural to suppose that, with twenty- 
 eight vessels under my command, I should need a place where I 
 could perform the duties of commanding officer of the flotilla, and 
 I was told that the " double-ender " Octorora was intended for 
 me, although she had only recently been launched, and was not 
 near ready for service. 
 
 In the mean while I was informed that I could go out in the 
 Harriet Lane with Lieutenant-Commanding Wainwright, and in 
 due course of time the Octorora would reach me. 
 
 The Harriet Lane was a very small steamer, built for a revenue- 
 
ON BOARD THE HARRIET LANE. 109 
 
 cutter, and was caught up by the Navy Department and turned 
 into a vessel of war a system, I suppose, we shall adhere to in 
 case of a difficulty with a European power : fall back on the 
 revenue marine, Coast Survey, and Fish Commission for vessels, and 
 have a navy register filled with a formidable array of names apper 
 taining to a lot of "rattletraps." 
 
 The cabin of the Harriet Lane was very small, and there was 
 one little state-room which the captain naturally wanted for him 
 self. It never struck him to offer it to me, although I was his 
 commanding officer ; but if he had, I certainly should have de 
 clined it. 
 
 In those days I was a hardy fellow, despising luxury always 
 traveled with as little luggage as possible, and could sleep any 
 where. No doubt the department took into account my pecu 
 liarities, and said, " He doesn t mind ; he s tough ; send him in 
 anything." 
 
 I went down to the Washington navy-yard with my orders, 
 " Proceed without delay to Key West in the Harriet Lane, and take 
 command of the mortar flotilla," etc. 
 
 Lieutenant Wainwright received me at the gangway with a smil 
 ing face, and my trunk was passed on board. Although Wain 
 wright knew that he was to have a passenger, he seemed surprised 
 at the trunk. He perhaps thought a little hand-bag would be all 
 I should require, and he looked doubtfully at the impedimenta 
 and said, 
 
 " I don t see how we shall be able to stow that trunk in the 
 cabin, but I must contrive some way," 
 
 " Put it in the maintop," I said, "and get under way at once." 
 
 Wainwright looked surprised. " I am not ready for sea, sir, 
 yet ; the coal is not all on board." 
 
 "As to that," I replied, " I never saw a naval vessel that was 
 ready for sea ; nevertheless, we will get under way, and procure coal 
 in Norfolk or Port Royal." 
 
 " But I haven t laid in the cabin-stores." 
 
 "All right," I said ; "the ship-stores are good enough for me." 
 
 " Two of the officers and the cabin steward are away." 
 
 " We ll leave them then," I said. 
 
 "But," said Wainwright, "our chronometer has not come on 
 board." 
 
 " Of course," I said, " chronometers are always slow. We will 
 go without one, trusting to the three Z s lead, log, and lookout." 
 
110 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "Wainwright was in despair, and no doubt thought the navy was 
 going to the d 1 sure enough ; but he gave the order to the first 
 lieutenant to light the fires. 
 
 "The fires are already lighted, sir," said the young officer, 
 Lieutenant Lee, "and steam will be up in twenty minutes." 
 
 I took to the young man at once, for I liked his prompt way 
 of doing duty. 
 
 Next morning, by daylight, we arrived at Cockpit Point, and 
 found there five small steamers called "vessels of war!" each 
 mounting several rifle-guns, and forming part of a river flotilla of 
 some fourteen vessels under Lieutenant Wyman. It had formerly 
 been under the command of Commander James H. Ward, who 
 never permitted a rebel battery to be erected on the Potomac. 
 
 But now the rebels had blocked our game, and we were in 
 formed that we must wait eight days so as to have a dark night for 
 passing what was supposed to be a powerful battery at Cockpit 
 Point. 
 
 Just then a thick snow-storm came on, and you could hardly 
 see a ship s length. 
 
 "We will pass the batteries now," I said ; "this is better than 
 a dark night. You can follow us, Captain " (to the officer in com 
 mand), "and enfilade the rebel batteries in case they open on us." 
 
 It was about 7 A. M. when we got abreast of Cockpit Point, the 
 snow-storm held up, and everything became clear as noonday. 
 
 I stood on the wheel-house with Captain Wainwright and the 
 first lieutenant. A puff of smoke came from the bushes on shore. 
 
 " Why, they have dared to fire on the flag ! " exclaimed the 
 first lieutenant, excitedly. He was a full-blooded Southerner, born 
 in the very heart of Secessia. 
 
 Just then a large rifle-shell struck the rim of our port wheel, 
 cutting it in two, and the fragments of the wheel were knocking 
 the wheel-house to pieces. 
 
 "That was a slap in the face," said the youngster ; "can t we 
 return the fire, sir ? " 
 
 "No, my young friend," I replied; "never fire at a battery 
 when you are running it, and throw away your shot. You will 
 have firing enough before the war is over." 
 
 Presently a shell passed through the smoke-stack and exploded 
 just beyond. 
 
 " They have hit us again ! " exclaimed the young officer. " The 
 dastardly villains, to fire on the flag ! " 
 
STANDING BY THE COUNTRY S FLAG. HI 
 
 Three shells followed in quick succession, cutting away an iron 
 stack-stay, chipping off a piece of the rail, and knocking a ham 
 mock out. 
 
 "There, Mr. Lee," I said, "they will trouble us no more, as we 
 have passed their line of fire. It would have been useless to fire at 
 scattered guns in bushes and behind sand-hills, not knowing their 
 distance. From what I can learn of Cockpit Battery, out of the 
 many vessels that have run past its fire it has never yet succeeded 
 in sinking one of them." 
 
 "Excuse me, sir, for my warmth," said the young officer. "I 
 am a Southern man, and my family have disowned me because I 
 would not join what they call the Confederate cause. My father 
 says if he should ever meet me in battle he would shoot me like a 
 dog. How can I help hating a cause that has taken all the love of 
 my family from me ? " 
 
 "Yet you don t regret your action in sticking to your flag?" 
 I inquired. 
 
 "No, indeed," he answered ; "I would die before I would de 
 sert it, and do not desire the love of my family if I can only possess 
 it by turning traitor to my country." 
 
 " I admire your sentiments," sir ; "don t let them depart from 
 you." 
 
 Four miles below the Cockpit Battery we stopped to mend our 
 wheel as best we could. 
 
 I took a great deal of notice of the youngster on our way to Key 
 West, being much attracted by his patriotic sentiments and manly 
 bearing. I knew many Southern officers who had not the moral 
 courage to stand by their flag, and from this young man s story I 
 could see how much he had to contend with in the step he had 
 taken. 
 
 He had never before seen a shot fired in anger, and could not 
 restrain his indignation at the idea of Southern men so soon for 
 swearing allegiance to the flag under which they were born, and even 
 firing upon it when passing along the public highway for vessels. 
 
 "I can understand," said he, "how men in an excited condi 
 tion can be urged on to violence by demagogues, but I can not 
 understand how men in cold blood can fire at a vessel belonging to 
 the navy that has conferred so much honor on the North and on 
 the South. I think that the river flotilla could have enfiladed 
 Cockpit Point while we were passing, and it might have diverted 
 the enemy s aim and saved our wheel." 
 
112 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "Yes," I said, "people can do anything when they want to, 
 but perhaps they did not want to. It doesn t make a great deal of 
 difference anyhow, and it is best not to make that battery of too 
 much importance." 
 
 We spent three days in Hampton Eoads repairing damages, and 
 sailed thence for Key West. 
 
 The young officer served with me all the time I commanded the 
 mortar flotilla, and his friends may well be proud of him for his 
 chivalric courage and loyalty to his flag. 
 
 When taking leave of the officers of the flotilla at the mouth of 
 the Mississippi, I bade good-by to young Lee, who was still first 
 lieutenant of the Harriet Lane. 
 
 "I shall never see you again," he said, "for I feel that I have 
 but a short time to stay here. I am not sorry, for it is dreadful to 
 live with the hatred of those whom you love and who once loved 
 you. I hope to die in defense of the flag, and I want my friends 
 to know that I did my duty faithfully to my country. In case of 
 my death, sir, will you see this done for me ? " 
 
 I promised that I would do what he wished, but told him it was 
 foolish to indulge in such morbid feelings ; that when the war was 
 over his family would welcome him home again and would be proud 
 of his record. 
 
 "No, no, sir," he replied, "you don t know my people. I do 
 not wish to live to hear my parents curse me for doing what they 
 taught me from childhood : Be true to the Government and the 
 flag. " 
 
 I never saw him again, for he was killed soon after on the deck 
 of the Harriet Lane at Galveston, defending the flag to the last. 
 
 Galveston had been captured, and Flag-Officer Farragut sent a 
 small detachment of vessels, among them the Harriet Lane, there 
 to hold the place, under Commander Eenshaw. 
 
 The harbor of Galveston is a peculiar one, with several channels 
 leading to it from the bar, and a number of large mud-flats where 
 the water is very shallow. 
 
 The vessels under Eenshaw lay in the various channels out of 
 supporting distance of each other, and the Confederate general, 
 Magruder, determined on a bold attempt for their capture. 
 
 He fitted out three or four river-steamers packed with cotton- 
 bales and filled with riflemen. The Harriet Lane lay nearest the 
 town, and the sudden attack found her not properly prepared for 
 resistance. One of the rebel steamers jammed under her guards 
 
HAVOC OF REVOLUTIONS. 113 
 
 and could not get away, nor could those on board the Harriet Lane 
 bring a gun to bear on the enemy. 
 
 IP. ten minutes the numerous marksmen on board the Confeder 
 ate steamer cleared the decks of the Harriet Lane ; every officer and 
 man on deck was shot down it was a slaughter-house affair. Cap 
 tain Wain wright was killed at the first volley, and directly after 
 ward young Lee was mortally wounded. 
 
 There being nothing left to oppose them, the Confederates 
 rushed on board and took possession of the steamer. They were 
 led by a stalwart officer with a drawn sword. 
 
 Lieutenant Lee was lying on deck apparently dead, his head 
 supported by the cabin steward. The Confederate officer demanded 
 of the steward, " Who is that officer ? " 
 
 "This, is Mr. Lee, our first lieutenant," replied the steward, 
 "and I think he is dead." 
 
 The Confederate leader staggered back. "God in heaven !" he 
 exclaimed, "poor boy! is there no hope at all ?" Then he cried 
 in agony, " Speak to me ! Say that you forgive us ! " 
 
 The young man opened his eyes at the sound of his uncle s 
 voice. 
 
 "I have nothing to forgive," he said, "but you saw that 1 did 
 my duty to the last and died fighting for my country. Tell them 
 all at home I ever loved them." And he expired. 
 
 I received the account of this heart-rending scene from the 
 steward of the Harriet Lane, in whose arms the young officer died. 
 His last request to the steward was, that he would tell me how he 
 had died at his post in defense of the flag. The steward related 
 the events of the massacre with such emotion that I could hardly 
 refrain from tears, although not given to the melting mood. 
 
 Lieutenant Lee was buried among his people in his Southern 
 home ; his shadow was no longer cast between them and the sun, 
 and it is to be hoped that the rancor which once dwelt in their 
 hearts was buried in the grave they made him under the moss- 
 covered oaks of his birthplace. 
 
 This sad occurrence was only one of many similar scenes which 
 occurred during the civil war ; but it was one in which I was im 
 mediately interested, and, although I have missed many a brave 
 young fellow from my side, yet I think oftener of that young 
 officer, with his lofty aspirations and high sense of duty, shot 
 down like a dog by his own people without a chance to defend 
 himself. 
 
 8 
 
114 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 When I recall those days I can not help thinking that his 
 Satanic majesty must have got loose upon earth to set men at work 
 to destroy each other. 
 
 I will merely add to this a statement which shows the changes 
 made by war and time on the lives of men. They may escape the 
 bullet and the steel, but the excitement of such a revolution as 
 that through which our country passed leaves an indelible mark. 
 Of the commanding naval officers in the mortar flotilla who stood 
 by me all through the expedition Guest, "Woodworth, Harrel, 
 Wainwright, Breese, Watson Smith, and Eenshaw all are dead, 
 though then in the vigor of manhood. All were gallant men, and 
 deserving of the highest honors. 
 
 Baldwin alone lived to reach the top of the ladder, and now 
 represents his country honorably in command of the Mediterranean 
 squadron. 
 
 All the first lieutenants of the different steamers are dead or 
 have left the service. 
 
 It seems but yesterday that I saw all . these officers, full of life 
 and manly aspirations, devoting their lives to their country which 
 has forgotten them. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 A VISIT TO THE NAVY DEPARTMENT NEWPORT CLUB BETS ON 
 FAVORITE GENERALS A SNOB ACCUSED OF TALKING TREASON 
 ORDERED TO WASHINGTON THREATENED TO RESIGN OR 
 DERED TO COMMAND THE MISSISSIPPI SQUADRON A GREAT 
 GENERAL MORAL. 
 
 WHEN I arrived in Washington after the termination of my 
 New Orleans expedition I called upon the Secretary of the Navy, 
 who received me with that placidity for which he was remarkable. 
 
 Mr. Welles was never enthusiastic about anything, and never 
 cast down, whatever misfortunes might happen. 
 
 When he was informed that the Merrimac had sunk the Con 
 gress and the Cumberland, he simply said, "Let Mr. Fox know it." 
 If Mr. Welles did not welcome an officer warmly, it was because it 
 was not his nature to do so ; he always received one courteously. 
 
 " Good-morning ! " said the secretary, as I entered the room ; 
 
SCENE AT A NEWPORT, R. I., CLUB. 115 
 
 " I sent for you to come north and bombard Fort Darling, on the 
 James River ; can you do it ? " 
 
 "Yes, sir," I replied, "I can put fifty tons of shells on top of 
 it ; but what good will that do if there are no soldiers to hold it 
 when we drive the enemy out ? As soon as we are done bombard 
 ing, the enemy will go back and make the place stronger by piling 
 up our broken shells." 
 
 " Well, as there are no troops available, we must give up the 
 idea," said Mr. Welles. "Tell Mr. Faxon to have a two weeks 
 leave of absence made out for you, so that you can see your family. 
 Good-morning." 
 
 So I departed for Newport, R. I., where I put myself under the 
 care of a physician, having brought with me a case of " breakbone 
 fever " as a souvenir of the Mississippi. 
 
 One evening I was at the Newport Club, where were assembled 
 some thirty or forty persons, many of them vociferating loudly, so 
 that I feared from their excitement it would soon be necessary to 
 call in the services of the police. 
 
 An old habitue sat on the sofa, looking at the game of billiards I 
 was playing. " Pray, Mr. Pell," I said, " what is all the excite 
 ment about ? " 
 
 " Why," he answered, " this is our usual evening s entertain 
 ment. It is a meeting of the copperheads and radical republicans ; 
 they have just come in from dinner parties and want to see how 
 much money they can bet without any one taking them up. Each 
 is now bragging of his own general, and seems determined to bet 
 him into the Presidency." 
 
 At that instant a voice cried out, "I ll bet five hundred dollars 
 General will be the next President ! " 
 
 " Done," said another ; " I take it up and go five hundred bet 
 ter," whereupon there was much shouting and some profanity, with 
 indications of a general row. 
 
 I could not help laughing at this absurd spectacle. "What 
 fools these mortals be," I said to my companion. 
 
 "Do you know anything of the generals they are quarreling 
 about ? " inquired Mr. Pell. 
 
 "Yes," I replied, "I know some of them." 
 
 By this time the crowd of clubmen had become so uproarious 
 that Mr. Pell thought it time to make a diversion, and, going 
 among the disputants, said : 
 
 "Pooh! pooh! don t quarrel about people you don t know. 
 
116 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Here is Captain Porter, who knows these generals, and can tell you 
 all about them." 
 
 The crowd surged toward me, and one little fellow, with more 
 money than brains, and whose principal recommendation was a fine 
 set of teeth, blurted out, frantically, " Captain Porter, I bet Gener 
 al is the greatest general the world ever saw, and will be our 
 
 next President. Do you say, sir, that he is not the greatest gen 
 eral that ever lived ? " 
 
 " Certainly," I replied ; " I consider him no greater than Caesar, 
 Hannibal, Marlborough, Napoleon, not to mention others who have 
 accomplished a great deal in the military way." 
 
 "Damn Caesar and Napoleon and all the rest of them," said the 
 little man. s They d be nowhere fighting against such troops as 
 our army have had to oppose, and in such a country as our men 
 have to fight. "What do you know of Caesar and Hannibal that 
 you make such an assertion ? " 
 
 "Why, sir," I replied, "I was intimate with both these gener 
 als, and took breakfast with them in the Alps, which they passed 
 with very little trouble." 
 
 " You are making a jest of this thing, sir," said the little man, 
 fiercely. " I can t stand jesting." 
 
 "You can t stand drinking either," I said, "for it has evidently 
 been too much for your weak head." 
 
 Just then a copperhead sang out, " I ll bet a thousand dollars 
 Beauregard could whip Napoleon out of his boots any time." 
 
 " What do you say to that proposition ? " turning to me. 
 
 "Let me settle this little fellow here," I replied, "before enter 
 ing upon a controversy with you. " 
 
 "Well, sir," said the little fellow, "I wouldn t be surprised to 
 hear you say that Stonewall Jackson is superior to our generals." 
 
 "Well," I answered, "as you mention the subject, I will say 
 that I have heard some people assert that Stonewall Jackson is the 
 hardest man alive to whip." 
 
 " Hurrah for Stonewall Jackson ! " shouted a copperhead. 
 " Put up your pocket-book, little man, you re a snob ! " 
 
 This made the little man very angry, and, as I seemed the least 
 ruffled of the party and did not look as if I would get angry, he 
 turned upon me. 
 
 " Sir, you are talking treason yes, sir, treason. I ll bet you two 
 thousand dollars General will be the next President." 
 
 "Look here, little man," I said, "you have a good set of teeth, 
 
SLANDERED BY A WOMAN. 117 
 
 and my advice to you is to try and keep them in your mouth." 
 Then his friends took him away. In two minutes all was apparent 
 ly good humor again, the subject of conversation was changed, and 
 I finished my game of billiards. 
 
 Next morning, while taking a walk, I was accosted by Dr. P., 
 of the navy, who was attending me professionally. 
 
 " There are some ugly reports about you going the rounds in 
 Newport/ said the doctor, "and I thought it my duty to tell you 
 of them." 
 
 " Eeports about me ? Why, I hardly know anybody in the place. 
 Pray what are the reports ? " 
 
 " One of the stories is that you have used treasonable language," 
 said the doctor. 
 
 "And who has circulated such a libel as that ?" 
 
 "Oh, I can t tell you," said the doctor, "as it was told to me 
 in confidence." 
 
 " But what good will this information do me unless I know the 
 person who has made the accusation ? " Then I remembered the 
 occurrence of the previous evening at the club. 
 
 "It will put you on your guard," he said. 
 
 " But that won t satisfy me, doctor. I insist on knowing who 
 the person is who has slandered me. You are not sufficiently intimate 
 with me to bring such a report without telling me who is responsible 
 for it. I want the man s name, so that I can call him to account, 
 and, unless you give it, I shall hold you personally responsible." 
 
 The doctor saw that I was thoroughly in earnest, and, after 
 hesitating a moment, he said : " I shall be guilty of a breach of con 
 fidence if I tell you ; besides, it is not a man it is a lady, and you 
 can not hold her responsible." 
 
 "If she has a husband," I replied, "perhaps he can be made to 
 teach his wife to confine herself to the truth." 
 
 Seeing that I was determined to find out all about the matter, 
 the doctor said : " Well, if you insist on knowing, it is old Mrs. B. 
 She told me in confidence, and will never forgive me if she knows I 
 have told you." 
 
 "Ah ! " I said, " that old spy who goes around spotting people 
 and giving information to the Government. I have not even seen 
 the woman, and as to holding her husband responsible for what 
 she may say, that would be absurd ; he is a harmless old gentleman, 
 and I should not think of making war on him. But pray, doctor, 
 what else did she say of me ? " 
 
118 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "She said a good many things," replied the doctor. "I think 
 you must have offended her in some way. She says you are a 
 brother-in-law of Semmes, and connived at his escape from the 
 Mississippi River in the Sumter." 
 
 "Well, as I was at Southwest Pass, and Semmes got out of 
 Pass a FOutre, where the Brooklyn was stationed, and as that 
 vessel chased him off the coast, there s no use in talking about it. 
 What next?" 
 
 "Mrs. B. says you are a Southern man and a hot rebel." 
 
 "Born in Pennsylvania," I replied. "And you took all that 
 in, did you, and you a naval officer ? " 
 
 The doctor looked confused and said nothing. As I turned to 
 ward the house a dispatch was handed me from the telegraph-office : 
 
 " Proceed to Washington without delay and report to the Navy 
 Department. GIDEON WELLES." 
 
 "Thank you," I exclaimed ; "I will get out of this den of 
 scandal and have some active service." 
 
 At 6 P. M. the following day I arrived in Washington and went 
 straight to the Navy Department. Mr. Welles had gone home, but 
 I saw the assistant secretary, Mr. Fox. 
 
 " Here I am," I said. " What is wanted ? " 
 
 " We just wanted to look at you," said Fox. 
 
 " I am not much to look at after an attack of break-bone fever ; 
 but, like the lean horse, I m good enough to go if there s anything 
 for me to do." 
 
 "Can you get your things out of the Octorora in two hours ?" 
 inquired Fox. "We are going to give the vessel to Lieutenant 
 George Brown, to proceed at once to Charleston." 
 
 As the Octorora was then in Baltimore, I had not much time 
 allowed me. 
 
 " Lieutenant Brown can have all my things," I replied. " He 
 will need them, and I can sleep on a camp-stool, if necessary but 
 what is to become of my mortar vessels ? " I inquired. 
 
 "They are to be turned over to Wilkes," replied Fox, "and the 
 organization broken up." 
 
 I saw at once that something was wrong, but had no idea at the 
 time that people were sending reports to the department, under 
 plea of zeal for the cause of the Union, to prejudice the Secretary 
 of the Navy against his most faithful subordinates. 
 
 The case of General Stone is one which is an eternal disgrace to 
 the United States Government. He suffered every indignity, and, 
 
VISIT TO PRESIDENT LINCOLN. 119 
 
 when his innocence was clearly shown, he was discharged without 
 an apology or explanation. 
 
 Fortunately, I had strong friends in the President, Secretary 
 Seward, and Secretary Chase, and I felt myself secure from serious 
 assault. 
 
 Next day I saw Fox at the department and he informed me 
 that I was to be sent to St. Louis to superintend the construction 
 of ironclads under Commodore Hull. 
 
 I made no secret of my indignation at this information. 
 
 " This is ostracizing me," I said. " Certainly my services de 
 serve something better. You can t send me there." 
 
 "Do you mean to say," said Fox, "that you will refuse to obey 
 the order ?" 
 
 "Not exactly that," I replied ; "but I look upon such orders 
 as an indignity. I will cheerfully obey any order where I can be 
 of service against the enemies of my country, but treat me in that 
 way, and I will resign, and get the merchants of New York to 
 give me a suitable vessel, and then I will go out and show you how 
 to catch the Alabama." 
 
 I walked away, Fox staring after me in astonishment. This 
 was one of the few times when he got off his balance. The woman 
 with a " B " to her name, and the little fellow of the Newport Club, 
 Fox s intimate friend, had imposed upon him. What they really 
 told him I never knew or cared. 
 
 I could not see the Secretary of the Navy, as he was engaged, 
 but I wrote to him that I was ready for active duty at a moment s 
 notice, and, until my services were required, I would like to rejoin 
 my family in Newport. 
 
 Permission was at once given me, and I do not believe Mr. 
 Welles ever knew I had been sent for. 
 
 I was not in the best of humor when I departed from the office, 
 as I thought my chances for distinction were at an end. I felt sure 
 the Navy Department was hostile to me, and that I could never get 
 along because too stiff-necked to be a courtier. I forgot, for the 
 moment, 
 
 "There s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will." 
 
 The very wind that I supposed was blowing me to destruction 
 was, in fact, wafting me to fortune. 
 
 I thought I would call, before leaving Washington, and pay my 
 
120 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 respects to the President. I found him in company with Mr. 
 Seward, and both gentlemen seemed glad to see me. 
 
 "What can I do for you, Captain," said the President. 
 
 " Sir," I said, " I think of resigning from the navy and getting 
 the merchants of New York to give me a suitable steamer, so that 
 I may show the Navy Department how to catch the Alabama. That 
 would suit my disposition better than superintending ironclads at 
 St. Louis under Commodore Hull. I should fret my heart out 
 there in a week suffering such an indignity ; yet that s what the 
 Navy Department proposes doing with me." 
 
 "They shall not do it," said Mr. Seward, jumping up. "I 
 have not forgotten how you helped me to save Fort Pickens to the 
 Union." 
 
 "Yes," said the President, "and got me into hot water with 
 Mr. Welles, for which I think he has never forgiven me. I believe 
 he would forget it, but, Seward, you won t let him. You are 
 always flaunting your claimed success in his face, and deprecating 
 the Fort Sumter expedition ; it s like shaking a red rag at a bull. 
 If it hadn t been for Seward, Captain, Mr. Welles would have tried 
 you by court-martial for disobeying Seward s telegram, although 
 you were simply carrying out my written orders a fact which none 
 of us remembered until you were beyond our reach." 
 
 "You were right," said Mr. Seward, " in disobeying my orders, 
 as it saved us Fort Pickens." 
 
 "Well," said Mr. Lincoln, "if the navy hasn t broken the 
 back-bone of the Eebellion I think it has come pretty near doing it, 
 though, after all, Vicksburg slipped through our fingers, which 
 was a great disappointment to me, realizing, as I do, its great im 
 portance as a depot of supplies to the Confederates ; however, if I 
 live, you shall be at the taking of the place." 
 
 The President then made me describe the battle at the passage 
 of Forts Jackson and St. Philip, making his usual shrewd com 
 ments on the matter. 
 
 "I read all about it," he said; "how the ships went up in 
 line, firing their broadsides ; how the mortars pitched into the 
 forts ; how the forts pitched into the ships, and the ships into the 
 rams, and the rams into the gun-boats, and the gun-boats into the 
 fire-rafts, and the fire-rafts into the ships. Of course I couldn t 
 understand it all, but enough to know that it was a great victory. 
 It reminds me," continued the President, "of a fight in a bar-room 
 at Natchez, but I won t tell that now. 
 
COMMAND OF THE MISSISSIPPI SQUADRON. 121 
 
 "It struck me," continued the President, " that the fight at the 
 forts was something like the Natchez scrimmage, only a little more 
 so." 
 
 "Mr. President," I said, "that achievement of Farragut s is 
 the most important event of the war, and all that he has received 
 for it is a vote of thanks of Congress. The British Government 
 would have loaded him with honors and emoluments." 
 
 How is that, Seward ? " said the President. 
 
 "I don t know anything about it," said the Secretary of State. 
 "I am not the head of the Navy Department." 
 
 "No," replied the President, "but you don t mind running off 
 with a navy-ship when it suits your purposes." 
 
 "Yes, sir," said Mr. Seward, " when I know it is the only way 
 to save the honor of the nation ; but Farragut will not be forgotten." 
 
 The President then summoned a messenger and said, " Go tell 
 the Assistant Secretary of the Navy that I wish to see him at once." 
 
 I took my leave on the plea that I had to catch the train for 
 Newport. 
 
 " Good-by," said the President ; " you sha n t go to St. Louis, 
 you sha n t resign, and you shall be at Vicksburg when it falls. " 
 
 When I reached my lodgings in Newport I found a telegram 
 awaiting me 
 
 " Proceed to Washington without delay and report in person 
 to the department. 9 GIDEON WELLES." 
 
 "Well," I exclaimed, "here we go this time to Fort Lafayette !" 
 But I immediately returned to Washington in obedience to my 
 orders. 
 
 When I was ushered into the presence of the Secretary of the 
 Navy that high functionary smiled on me benignly, gave me his 
 two fingers to squeeze, and asked me to be seated. My heart ex 
 panded so at my cordial reception that I felt like embracing the 
 venerable statesman, for I thought at least I would be allowed a 
 cell to myself at Fort Lafayette ; but he didn t give me time to 
 think much, as he handed me a sealed document. 
 
 I opened it with the air of a philosopher, determined to show 
 the hard-hearted old gentleman that I was indifferent to my fate, 
 and read 
 
 " You have been appointed to command the Mississippi squad 
 ron, and you will proceed at once to Mound City, Illinois, and relieve 
 Flag-Officer Davis, etc. GIDEON WELLES." 
 
122 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I did not give way to any visible emotion, merely repeating 
 aloud, " There s a divinity that shapes our ends," etc. After con 
 gratulating me, the secretary invited me to call and see him at his 
 house. 
 
 As I came out of the secretary s office I met the bureau offi 
 cers, and they shook me warmly by the hand. Fox was delighted to 
 see me. Faxon, the chief clerk, smiled the first time for weeks. I 
 had been " selected by the President ! " I had friends at court ! 
 Human nature is everywhere the same, even in the little semblance 
 of a court which we try to maintain. Every one notices when the 
 President nods, and what it means, and the man who receives his 
 approval is patronized at once. 
 
 What a difference there was between this reception and the one 
 I experienced two days previous ! Then I was almost driven to re 
 sign. Now I was a flag officer, with the title of Acting Rear- Ad 
 miral. Let those laugh who win. I won in spite of many obsta 
 cles, and enjoyed my victory amazingly. 
 
 I called with Mr. Fox on the President, and found him, as usual, 
 in excellent humor. 
 
 "I promised you," he said to me, " that you should see Vicks- 
 burg fall, and now you shall do it. I want to ask you something 
 about your plans, for, knowing all about the place, I suppose your 
 measures for capturing it must be matured by this time. 
 
 I assured the President that my plans were very simple. A large 
 naval force, a strong body of troops, and patience, were the only 
 means of capturing Vicksburg. 
 
 " There was a time not long ago," I said, " when Vicksburg 
 could have been easily captured, but it is now a second Gibraltar, 
 and the navy alone could do nothing toward capturing it." 
 
 "Well," said the President, "whom do you think is the gen 
 eral for such an occasion ? " 
 
 " General Grant, sir. Vicksburg is within his department ; but I 
 presume he will send Sherman there, who is equal to any occasion. " 
 
 " Well, Admiral," said the President, " I have in my mind a 
 better general than either of them ; that is McClernand, an old and 
 intimate friend of mine." 
 
 "I don t know him, Mr. President," I said. 
 
 " What ! " exclaimed Mr. Lincoln, " don t know McClernand ? 
 Why, he saved the battle of Shiloh, when the case seemed hopeless ! " 
 (I suppose McClernand told him so.) 
 
 " Why, Mr. President," I replied, " the general impression is 
 
INTERVIEW WITH GENERAL McCLERNAND. 123 
 
 that Grant won the battle of Shiloh ; as he commanded the army, 
 he would seem entitled to the credit." 
 
 " No," said the President, " McClernand did it ; he is a natural- 
 born general." 
 
 "Well, Mr. President, with all due deference to you, I don t 
 believe in natural-born generals except where they have had proper 
 military training, and it seems to me the siege of Vicksburg is too 
 important a matter to trust to anybody except a scientific military 
 man ; besides, if you take troops from Grant and Sherman to give 
 them to McClernand, you will weaken the army." 
 
 " Oh, no," said the President, " I don t mean to do that. Mc 
 Clernand is to go to Springfield, Illinois, and raise troops there for 
 the capture of Yicksburg. In the mean time you can prepare to 
 co-operate with him." 
 
 These last words of the President were a great relief to me, for I 
 knew it would take some time to raise an army in the way proposed. 
 
 "Now," said the President, "I will give you a note of intro 
 duction to McClernand. I want you to talk the matter over with 
 him before you leave Washington ." He wrote the note, gave it to 
 me, and I left with Mr. Fox. 
 
 " What do you think of that plan ? " I said to Fox, when we 
 were outside. 
 
 "Well, I don t know," he replied ; "but, after you have talked 
 with McClernand, suppose you stop in and tell me what you think of 
 him." 
 
 I found the general at his hotel, and he talked in the most san 
 guine manner of taking Vicksburg in a week ! 
 
 I listened to him attentively, but, as I did not exactly take in all 
 the military points, I left him after he had informed me he had 
 already received orders to enlist an army at Springfield, Illinois, 
 and command it at the siege of Vicksburg. 
 
 I stopped in to see Fox, who said, " Well, what do you think of 
 General McClernand ?" 
 
 " I could form no opinion of him," I said. " Good-by." 
 
 "Are you not going to see the President again before you leave 
 Washington ? " he inquired. 
 
 "No," I replied, "I leave for Cairo, Illinois, in two hours, 
 to see Grant. McClernand is going to Springfield to raise troops. 
 He is shortly to be married, and if he proposes to recruit an army 
 in that way, I think it will be hardly worth while to wait for him." 
 
124: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Now all you old fellows who have studied the laws, 
 And who make a good living by quibbles and flaws, 
 Who ne er had a gun or a sword in your paws, 
 
 Deceiving whose trade is, 
 
 Old men and old ladies, 
 
 Don t mount heavy boots and a long " yaller " sash, 
 Or expose your rich coat, or bright sdbretaclie, 
 In battle or skirmish, or where there s a chance 
 Of a shot from a pistol or a poke from a lance. 
 Be wise, stay at home, read Blackstone and Wheaton, 
 And study Coke s tactics, where you can not be beaten. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 INTERVIEW WITH GENERAL GRANT AT CAIRO FIRST MEETING 
 WITH GENERAL SHERMAN OUR FLAG HOISTED OVER ARKANSAS 
 POST GENERAL GRANT AND THE SIEGE OF VICKSBURG HOAX 
 ON THE VICKSBURGERS. 
 
 I ASSUMED command of the Mississippi Squadron at Cairo, Illi 
 nois, in October, 1862. There were the sturdy ironclads that had 
 fought their way from Fort Henry to Donaldson, to Island No. 10, 
 and White River, and destroyed the enemy s navy at Memphis. All 
 had done good service under their gallant commanders, Foote and 
 Davis. 
 
 The Benton, Carondelet, Cairo, Baron de Kalb, Mound City, and 
 Cincinnati were designed and constructed by that universal genius, 
 James B. Eads, in less than three months, and became famous in 
 the annals of the navy. Besides these were the Tyler, Conestoga, 
 and Lexington. 
 
 See the old warriors out in the stream, 
 Open in many a wood-end and seam ! 
 
 As soon as I arrived, the ironclads were put in the hands of five 
 hundred loyal mechanics, and in a week were ready for any service. 
 
 The rest of the vessels under my command were not very formi 
 dable, consisting of some side-wheel river steamboats and three or 
 
GENERAL GRANT AT CAIRO. 125 
 
 four ( tin-clads," and this was the force with which the nayy was 
 expected to batter down Vicksburg. 
 
 Soon after my arrival at Cairo I sent a messenger to General 
 Grant informing him that I had taken command of the naval 
 forces, and should be happy to co-operate with him in any enter 
 prise he might think proper to undertake. I also informed him 
 that General McClernand had orders to raise troops at Springfield, 
 Illinois, prior to undertaking the capture of Vicksburg. I thought 
 it my duty to tell him this, as it was not information given to me 
 in confidence. 
 
 Several weeks later Captain McAllister, quartermaster at Cairo, 
 gave a supper party to me and the officers on the station on board 
 the quartermaster s steamer, a large, comfortable river boat. 
 
 Supper had been served when I saw Captain McAllister usher 
 in a travel-worn person dressed in citizen s clothes. McAllister 
 was a very tall man, and his companion was dwarfed by his supe 
 rior size. McAllister introduced the gentleman to me as General 
 Grant, and placed us at a table by ourselves and left us to talk 
 matters over. 
 
 Grant, though evidently tired and hungry, commenced business 
 at once. "Admiral," he inquired, "what is all this you have 
 been writing me ? " 
 
 I gave the general an account of my interviews with the Presi 
 dent and with General McClernand, and he inquired, " When can 
 you move with your gun-boats, and what force have you ? " 
 
 " I can move to-morrow with all the old gun-boats and five or 
 six other vessels ; also the Tyler, Conestoga, and Lexington." 
 
 "Well, then," said Grant, "I will leave you now and write at 
 once to Sherman to have thirty thousand infantry and artillery 
 embarked in transports ready to start for Vicksburg the moment 
 you get to Memphis. I will return to Holly Springs to-night, and 
 will start with a large force for Grenada as soon as I can get off. 
 
 " General Joe Johnston is near Vicksburg with forty thousand 
 men, besides the garrison of the place under General Pemberton. 
 When Johnston hears I am marching on Grenada, he will come 
 from Vicksburg to meet me and check my advance. I will hold 
 him at Grenada while you and Sherman push on down the Missis 
 sippi and make a landing somewhere on the Yazoo. The garrison 
 afc Vicksburg will be small, and Sherman will have no difficulty in 
 getting inside the works. When that is done I will force Johnston 
 out of Grenada, and, as he falls back on Vicksburg, will follow 
 
126 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 him up with a superior force. "When he finds Vicksburg is occu 
 pied, he will retreat via Jackson." 
 
 I thought this plan an admirable one. Grant and myself never 
 indulged in long talks together ; it was only necessary for him to 
 tell me what he desired, and I carried out his wishes to the best of 
 my ability. 
 
 General Grant started that night for Holly Springs, Mississippi, 
 and, I believe, rode on horseback nearly all the way, while I broke 
 up the supper party by ordering every officer to his post of duty, 
 to be ready to start down the river next day at noon. 
 
 And this was the preliminary step to the capture of Vicksburg. 
 
 Grant, in his plain, dusty coat, was, in my eyes, a greater gen 
 eral than the man who rides around, 
 
 All feathers and fuss. 
 
 Here in twenty minutes Grant unfolded his plan of campaign, 
 involving the transportation of over one hundred thousand men, 
 and, with a good supper staring him in the face, proposed to ride 
 back again over a road he had just traveled without tasting a 
 mouthful, his cigar serving, doubtless, for food and drink. 
 
 Three days after, with all the naval forces, I started down the 
 Mississippi, and at Memphis found General Sherman embarking his 
 troops on a long line of river steamers, and sent word to the general 
 that I would call upon him at his headquarters. 
 
 Thinking it probable that Sherman would be dressed in full 
 feather, I put on my uniform coat, the splendor of which rivaled 
 that of a drum-major. Sherman, hearing that I was indifferent to 
 appearances and generally dressed in working-clothes, thought he 
 would not annoy me by fixing up, and so kept on his blue flannel 
 suit ; and we met, both a little surprised at the appearance of the 
 other. 
 
 " Halloo, Porter," said the general, "I am glad to see you ; you 
 got here sooner than I expected, but we ll get off to-night. Devil 
 ish cold, isn t it ? Sit down and warm up." And he stirred up 
 the coal in the grate. "Here, captain" to one of his aids "tell 
 General Blair to get his men on board at once. Tell the quarter 
 master to report as soon as he has six hundred thousand rations 
 embarked. Here, Dick" to his servant "put me up some shirts 
 and under-clothes in a bag, and don t bother me with a trunk and 
 traps enough for a regiment. Here, Captain " another aid "tell 
 the steamboat captains to have steam up at six o clock, and to lay 
 
MEETING WITH GENERAL SHERMAN. 127 
 
 in plenty of fuel, for I m not going to stop every few hours to cut 
 wood. Tell the officer in charge of embarkation to allow no pick 
 ing and choosing of boats ; the generals in command must take 
 what is given them there, that will do. Glad to see you, Porter ; 
 how s Grant?" 
 
 This was the first time I had ever met General Sherman, and my 
 impressions of him were very favorable. I thought myself lucky 
 to have two such generals as Grant and Sherman to co-operate with. 
 
 I soon returned to my flag-ship, the Black Hawk, and gave Cap 
 tain Walke orders to proceed with several vessels to the Yazoo 
 River, take possession of the landings in order to prevent the erec 
 tion of batteries, and drag the river above Chickasaw Bayou for 
 torpedoes. Captain Walke was directed to use all possible expedi 
 tion, so as to reach the Yazoo at least a day in advance of us. 
 
 We departed from Memphis as arranged, and reached the Yazoo 
 in good time. The Cairo, one of my best ironclads, had been 
 blown up while grappling for torpedoes ; but the landing of Sher 
 man s army had been secured. 
 
 The rest is a matter of history, and is registered in the chron 
 icles of the times with many variations and not a few misrepresen 
 tations. The reporters who followed the army did not all confine 
 themselves to the truth, and when I asked one of them, on a cer 
 tain occasion, why he did not state facts as they occurred, he re 
 plied : 
 
 "If I stated facts I would lose my place, for nothing but sensa 
 tional articles will satisfy the public." 
 
 We reached Chickasaw Bayou in safety, but the army did not 
 get much farther. 
 
 Grant s plans were well laid "man proposes but God disposes" 
 and the plans were unsuccessful after all. 
 
 When Grant started from Holly Springs he left behind him a 
 large depot of stores on which his army depended for supplies, and 
 marched on Grenada with a force (I think) of sixty thousand men. 
 
 General Pemberton, as soon as he learned of this movement, 
 saw that he would be locked up in Yicksburg if he let Grant get to 
 the rear of that place, and his plan, therefore, was to check Grant s 
 advance until other troops could be sent by rail to re-enforce Vicks- 
 
 Grant and Pemberton were marching toward each other as fast 
 as possible, when the ubiquitous General Van Dorn got in Grant s 
 rear and destroyed his supplies at Holly Springs. 
 
128 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I believe, however, that Grant had partly accomplished his ob 
 ject by drawing Pemberton a long way from Vicksburg, with the 
 idea that, in the latter s absence, General Sherman would have com 
 paratively little trouble in getting into the city. 
 
 No one, at that time, had any idea of the magnitude of the de 
 fenses that had been erected in every quarter to keep a foe out of 
 Vicksburg, as if the Titans had come to the rescue of the rebel 
 stronghold. 
 
 Sherman at every point encountered obstacles of which he had 
 never dreamed. Forests had been cut down in the line of Chicka- 
 saw Bayou, and through the chevaux-de-frise the soldiers, standing 
 up to their waists in water, had to cut their way with axes across 
 the dismal swamps. All this, of course, took time ; there seemed 
 to be no other route to Vicksburg. Haines s Bluff had been forti 
 fied so that no troops could pass in that direction without it was 
 first reduced by the gun-boats. Every available soldier in Vicks 
 burg had been brought to the point where Sherman was making his 
 approaches, and they worked like devils. 
 
 Old Clootie was there in his vigor and might ; 
 
 He held the bottle and urged on the fight, 
 
 As he dashed with his imps o er the blood-sprinkled plain, 
 
 His horses hoofs trampling the wounded and slain. 
 
 "What cared he who died in their vigor and sin, 
 
 As long as the devil and imps could but win ? 
 
 On the first sight of the gun-boats clearing out the Yazoo, the 
 officer in command at Vicksburg saw through the whole plan, and 
 telegraphed at once to General Pemberton, who immediately hurried 
 back to Vicksburg, while Grant returned to Holly Springs. 
 
 Had not General Sherman been stopped by unforeseen obstacles, 
 he would have captured the Southern Gibraltar ; but the impedi 
 ments which an energetic adversary threw in the way disconcerted 
 all his plans. 
 
 To add to Sherman s difficulties, the rain came on and such a 
 rain ! The heavens seemed trying to drown our army ; the naval 
 vessels and transports were the only arks of safety. The level lands 
 were inundated, and there were three feet of water in the swamps 
 where our army was operating. 
 
 Notwithstanding this dismal situation of affairs, Sherman or 
 dered an assault on the enemy s works. Part of General Blair s and 
 part of another division reached the interior of the works and held 
 them for a time. 
 
SECOND CAMPAIGN AGAINST VICKSBURG. 129 
 
 The tables were soon turned, for, just as victory seemed to 
 crown our arms, General Pemberton appeared on the scene with his 
 army, just returned from Grenada, and drove our small body of 
 men out of the works back to the place from which they started. 
 
 That ended the second campaign against Vicksburg, and our 
 disheartened troops returned to the transports, where they were free 
 from attack, as the enemy could not follow them through the waste 
 of waters between their fortifications and the gun-boats. We picked 
 up all that we had landed, including an old, worthless horse, deter 
 mined that the enemy should have no more than we could help. 
 
 It was still raining, and the current ran so strong in the river 
 that the vessels had to be fastened securely to the trees. The wind 
 howled like a legion of devils, though which side it was howling for 
 I have no idea. 
 
 That night General Sherman came on board my flag-ship, 
 drenched to the skin. He looked as if he had been grappling with 
 the mud, and got the worst of it. 
 
 He sat down and remained silent for some minutes. 
 
 " You are out of sorts," I said, at length. "What is the mat 
 ter?" 
 
 "I have lost seventeen hundred men, and those infernal re 
 porters will publish all over the country their ridiculous stories 
 about Sherman being whipped, etc." 
 
 " Only seventeen hundred men ! " I said. " Pshaw ! that is 
 nothing ; simply an episode in the war. You ll lose seventeen 
 thousand before the war is over, and will think nothing of it. 
 We ll have Yicksburg yet before we die. Steward, bring some 
 punch for the general and myself." 
 
 "That s good sense, Porter!" exclaimed the general, "and I 
 am glad to see you are not disheartened ; but what shall we do 
 now ? I must take my boys somewhere and wipe this out." 
 
 I informed the general that I was ready to go anywhere. 
 
 "Then," said he, "let s go and thrash out Arkansas Post." 
 And it was arranged that we should start next morning for that 
 place. This attempt on Yicksburg gave occasion for some fine 
 strategy on both sides. 
 
 Had General Grant determined in the first instance to advance 
 on Vicksburg, leaving a sufficient force of men at Holly Springs to 
 protect the place, no doubt Vicksburg would have fallen ; but he 
 had every reason to believe that, with the plans he had made, Sher 
 man would get in. The appointed time had evidently not arrived* 
 
130 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 and it was necessary that a final demonstration of the power and 
 determination of the Federal Government should be made, to sat 
 isfy the Southern people that none of their strongholds could 
 finally prevail against the Union forces, and that no earthly power 
 could dismember the Union, 
 
 For God in his wisdom had devised the hest plan 
 For the union of States and the freedom of man. 
 
 Next morning a colonel, dressed in a new suit of uniform, 
 sought an interview with me. I knew he could not belong to Sher 
 man s army, for all his officers had long ago worn the brightness 
 from their accoutrements. 
 
 "I come," said he, "from General McClernand, who is at the 
 mouth of the Yazoo Kiver, and wants you to call and see him as 
 soon as possible." 
 
 "Well," thinks I to myself, "that s cool!" "You can tell 
 the general," I said, "that my duties at present are so engrossing 
 that I am making no calls, and that it is his place to come and see 
 me. What is the general doing, and how did he get here ? " 
 
 "He has come," said the officer, "to take command of the 
 army; he took passage down in one of your ram gun-boats." 
 
 Here was a pretty kettle of fish ! I bade the officer good-morn 
 ing and he took his departure. 
 
 Just then I saw General Sherman in a small boat pulled by two 
 soldiers. I hailed him, and when he was near enough I said, 
 " Sherman, McClernand is at the mouth of the Yazoo, waiting to 
 take command of your army ! " 
 
 Sherman looked serious as he inquired, "Are you going to call 
 on him ? " 
 
 "No," I replied, "I am not making calls just now." 
 
 " But I must," said Sherman, " for he ranks me." 
 
 In two hours General Sherman returned with General McCler 
 nand, and I received the latter on board the flag-ship with all due 
 courtesy, and inquired if he had brought an army with him and 
 siege-tools to insure the fall of Vicksburg. 
 
 "No," replied McClernand, "but I find this army in a most 
 demoralized state, and I must do something to raise their spirits." 
 
 "Then, sir," I said, "you take command of this army ?" 
 
 " Certainly," he replied ; " and if you will let me have some of 
 your gun -boats, I propose to proceed immediately and capture Ar 
 kansas Post." 
 
OUR FLAG OVER ARKANSAS POST. 131 
 
 Sherman made a remark the purport of which I have forgotten, 
 but McClernand made a discourteous reply, whereupon Sherman 
 walked off into the after-cabin. I was angry that any one should 
 dare treat General Sherman with discourtesy in my cabin. 
 
 I informed General McClernand that the proposition to capture 
 Arkansas Post had been broached by General Sherman the previous 
 evening, and that I never let my gun-boats go on such an important 
 expedition without me. "If," I said, "General Sherman goes in 
 command of this army, I will go along with my whole force and 
 make a sure thing of it ; otherwise I will have nothing to do with 
 the affair." 
 
 Just then Sherman beckoned to me, and I went in to him. 
 "My God, Porter ! " he exclaimed, "you will ruin yourself if you 
 talk that way to McClernand ; he is very intimate with the Presi 
 dent, and has powerful influence." 
 
 " I don t care who or what he is, he shall not be rude to you in 
 my cabin," I replied. 
 
 " Did you understand my proposition, General McClernand ? " 
 I inquired, on my return to the forward cabin he was at that 
 moment consulting a map which lay on the table. 
 
 "Yes," said McClernand, "I understand it, and agree to it. 
 There is no objection, I suppose, to my going along ? " 
 
 "None in the world," I answered, "only be it understood that 
 General Sherman is to command this army." 
 
 We started as soon as possible and arrived at "the Post," a fort, 
 mounting eleven heavy guns, on the Arkansas River. I attacked it 
 with three ironclads and several smaller vessels, and in three hours 
 disabled all the guns. General Sherman surrounded the place 
 with his troops, and, after heavy losses, it surrendered the fort, in 
 charge of naval officers, to me, and the Confederate army of six 
 thousand men, under General Churchill, to General Sherman. 
 
 Our flag was no sooner hoisted over Arkansas Post January 11, 
 1863 than General McClernand assumed command of the army 
 and wrote the report of the capture a most ungenerous thing for 
 him to do under the circumstances. 
 
 The moment the prisoners were secured and the fort rendered 
 untenable General McClernand ordered the army to proceed to 
 Vicksburg, and I went in company, sending a message in advance 
 to General Grant that I anticipated no good results from McCler- 
 nand s commanding the army, that it was unjust to Sherman, that 
 I was certain McClernand and myself could never co-operate har- 
 
132 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 moniously, and I hoped he would come and take command himself. 
 I do not know that General Grant ever received my message, but 
 we had hardly landed the troops on the bend opposite Vicksburg 
 when he appeared and assumed command of the army, and the 
 third attack on the rebel stronghold immediately commenced. 
 
 The siege was conducted with great perseverance on our side 
 and with great bravery and endurance on the other, and when 
 Pemberton surrendered July 4, 1863 there was nothing left for 
 the subsistence of the soldiers or the inhabitants. 
 
 An elaborate history of the siege of Vicksburg would be a most 
 interesting military work, but to write it would require much time 
 and research, and a consultation not only of official documents but 
 of the experience of the principal officers on both sides who were 
 engaged in this memorable struggle. 
 
 General Grant has gained a world-wide reputation for his mili 
 tary achievements, but I think no event conferred more credit on 
 him than the siege of Vicksburg against the most formidable series 
 of earthworks ever erected on this continent. 
 
 I saw the celebrated Malakoff and the Redan two days after 
 they fell into the hands of the allied English and French army, and 
 they were nothing in comparison with the defenses of Vicksburg. 
 
 Grant s action in turning the flank at Vicksburg with but 
 fifty - six thousand men, and defeating two armies aggregating 
 eighty thousand strong, forms one of the most remarkable chapters 
 in the history of the civil war. 
 
 I do not believe that any of the accounts that were written of 
 the events transpiring around Vicksburg during the siege did jus 
 tice to the subject, and I am sorry that the limit of these pages 
 will prevent my giving even an outline of this remarkable siege. 
 
 Having encamped directly opposite to Vicksburg, our army had 
 a good opportunity of contemplating the task before it. 
 
 It was evident that the place could not be taken from the front ; 
 the rebel army and the inhabitants were receiving all the supplies 
 they wanted, not only via Jackson but by steamers from Eed River. 
 It was desirable to stop this communication. 
 
 I had under my command a semi-naval organization called the 
 "Marine Brigade," which had done good service at Memphis and 
 elsewhere. Several of the vessels in this organization were com 
 manded by members of the Ellet family, the senior member of 
 which, Brigadier-General A. W. Ellet, commanded the brigade. 
 
 Colonel Charles Ellet, Jr., a young man of twenty-two, com- 
 
TREACHERY OF A PILOT AT FORT DE RUSSY. 133 
 
 manded the Queen of the West, a ram improvised from a river 
 steamboat. 
 
 I ordered young Ellet to pass the batteries of Vicksburg at 
 night, proceed to the mouth of Red River, intercept the supplies 
 for Yicksburg and Port Hudson, and capture everything he could 
 overtake. 
 
 I don t know whether it was from love of glory or from want of 
 judgment, but, instead of taking advantage of the darkness to run 
 the batteries, Ellet chose early daylight, got well hammered as he 
 passed the forts, and nearly defeated the object of the expedition. 
 Not being accustomed to strict discipline, Ellet did not realize the 
 necessity of carrying out his orders to the letter. 
 
 After Colonel Ellet reached Red River he captured several 
 steamers loaded with provisions for Port Hudson, and having on 
 board a number of Confederate officers ; and hearing that other 
 steamers were on their way down Red River, his youthful ardor led 
 him to go on up that stream. 
 
 He arrived at Fort De Russy, and there, by the treachery of his 
 pilot, was run on shore near the batteries. The enemy opened fire 
 on the Queen of the West, killing and wounding numbers of the 
 crew and cutting the steam-pipe. The vessel was now helpless, and 
 Ellet and all his officers and men who were able jumped overboard 
 and drifted down the river to a point where one of their prizes lay, 
 got on board of her, and made their escape. 
 
 In the mean time I had prepared the ironclad Indianola and 
 gent her down to assist the Queen of the West. The Indianola 
 passed the batteries at night with little damage, and met Colonel 
 Ellet and his men coming up in their prize steamer Xew Era. 
 
 The Indianola, with two coal-barges in tow, continued down 
 until she reached the mouth of Red River, then turned back and 
 proceeded up river again until near the plantation of Mr. Joseph 
 Davis, the brother of the Confederate President. 
 
 At daylight next morning, after the Queen of the West had been 
 abandoned, the Confederates took possession and soon repaired 
 damages. 
 
 The Confederate ram Webb joined the Queen of the West from 
 Alexandria, and the two vessels, well manned and armed, proceeded 
 in search of the Indianola, came up with her at Davis s planta 
 tion, rammed her, and she ran into shoal water and sank, February 
 24, 1863. 
 
 We heard of the disaster a few hours after, and all my calcula- 
 
134: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 tions for stopping the enemy s supplies were for the time frustrated ; 
 but I took a philosophical view of the matter as one of the episodes 
 of the war. However, it was necessary to try and prevent the rebels 
 from raising the Indianola, and, as I was not ready to go down the 
 river myself, as it would interfere with an important military 
 movement, I hit upon a cheap expedient, which worked very 
 well. 
 
 I set the whole squadron at work and made a raft of logs, three 
 hundred feet long, with sides to it, two huge wheel-houses and a 
 formidable log casemate, from the port-holes of which appeared sun 
 dry wooden guns. Two old boats hung from davits fitted to the 
 "ironclad," and two smoke-stacks made of hogsheads completed 
 the illusion ; and on her wheel-houses was painted the following : 
 "Deluded Rebels, Cave In !" An American flag was hoisted aft, 
 and a banner emblazoned with skull and cross-bones ornamented the 
 bow. 
 
 When, this craft was completed, she resembled at a little dis 
 tance the ram Lafayette, which had just arrived from St. Louis. 
 
 The mock ram was furnished with a big iron pot inside each 
 smoke-stack, in which was tar and oakum to raise a black smoke, 
 and at midnight she was towed down close to the water-batteries of 
 Vicksburg and sent adrift. 
 
 It did not take the Vicksburg sentinels long to discover the 
 formidable monster that was making its way down the river. The 
 batteries opened on her with vigor, and continued the fire until she 
 had passed beyond the range of their guns. 
 
 The Yicksburgers had greatly exulted over the capture of the 
 Queen of the West and the Indianola ; the local press teemed with 
 accounts of the daring of the captors, and flattered themselves that, 
 with the Indianola and Queen of the West in their possession, they 
 would be able to drive the Union navy out of the Mississippi. What 
 was their astonishment to see this huge ironclad pass the batteries, 
 apparently unharmed, and not even taking the trouble to fire a gun ! 
 
 Some of our soldiers had gone down to the point below Vicks 
 burg to see the fun, and just before reaching Warrenton the mock 
 monitor caught the eddy and turned toward the bank where these 
 men were gathered. 
 
 The soldiers spent several hours in trying to shove the dummy 
 off into the stream, when daylight overtook them in the midst of 
 their work, and the Queen of the West, with the Confederate flag 
 flying, was seen coming up the river and stopping at Warrenton. 
 
SINKING OF THE INDIANOLA. 135 
 
 As we afterward learned, she came up for pumps, etc., to raise 
 the Indianola. 
 
 In the mean while the military authorities in Yicksburg had sent 
 couriers down to Joe Davis s plantation to inform the people on 
 board the Webb that a monster ironclad had passed the batteries 
 and would soon be upon them. The crew of the Webb were busy 
 in trying to remove the guns from their prize, and, when they heard 
 the news, determined to blow her up. 
 
 Just after the Queen of the West made the Warrenton landing 
 the soldiers succeeded in towing the mock ironclad into the stream, 
 and she drifted rapidly down upon the rebel prize, whose crew 
 never stopped to deliberate, but cut their fasts and proceeded down 
 the river. Their steam was low, and for a time the mock ironclad 
 drifted almost as fast as the Queen of the West ; but at length the 
 latter left her formidable pursuer far behind. 
 
 The Queen of the West arrived at the point where the Indianola 
 was sunk just as the people on board the Webb were preparing to 
 blow her up, bringing the news that the "great ironclad" was 
 close behind. So the Webb cast off and, with her consort, made 
 all speed down the river. 
 
 The Webb had been so greatly injured in ramming the Indiano 
 la that she had to go to Shreveport for repairs, and the Queen of 
 the West was shortly after recaptured and destroyed. 
 
 The results of the capture of the Indianola were, however, de 
 plorable. It is wonderful how rapidly news was transmitted along 
 the river, and the Indianola had scarcely sunk before Farragut 
 heard of it on board the Hartford. He was also informed that the 
 Confederates had raised the vessel and were about to use her against 
 his fleet at Port Hudson. 
 
 Farragut had obtained the false impression that the Indianola 
 was a very powerful vessel, and so he thought it necessary to pass 
 the batteries at Port Hudson and encounter her before she could 
 get under the protection of the Confederate works at that place. 
 
 This induced him to attempt to run past Port Hudson with a 
 portion of his fleet, when he met with considerable loss. 
 
 Owing to the smoke from the guns which hung over the river, 
 the pilots could not see their way. The frigate Mississippi grounded 
 opposite the forts, and there remained, while the enemy poured 
 shot and shell into her to their hearts content. 
 
 Her commanding officer did everything that was possible to get 
 his vessel off ; but, finding all his efforts useless, and that his offi- 
 
136 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 cers and men were being sacrificed, lie set fire to the ship and 
 abandoned her. 
 
 As the frigate s upper works were consumed the ship became 
 lightened ; she slid off the mud-bank and, drifting down the river, 
 blew up with an awful sound that carried joy to the hearts of the 
 Confederates. 
 
 A thousand memories clustered around the dear old ship, and 
 she will be handed down in history with the Hartford, whose for 
 tunes up to this time she had shared. 
 
 Only two of Farragut s vessels passed Port Hudson the Hart 
 ford, his flag-ship, and another which was lashed to her ; so he ar 
 rived at the mouth of Eed Eiver with but a small portion of his 
 fleet. 
 
 So much for the loss of one ironclad of which much was ex 
 pected and by which little was accomplished. The Indianola lay 
 imbedded in the mud until after the fall of Vicksburg, when we 
 raised her. 
 
 The Vicksburg people were furious at the trick we played 
 them, and the newspapers reviled their military authorities for not 
 being able to distinguish an old raft from a monster ironclad! 
 They were consoled, however, in a day or two when the news of 
 the destruction of the Mississippi reached Vicksburg. 
 
 Notwithstanding their gallant defense, the garrison of Vicks 
 burg were daily growing weaker while our strength was all the 
 time increasing. They began to realize that we had come to stay 
 until we could plant the Union flag over their stronghold. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 GENERAL GRANT S PLANS FOR TAKING YICKSBURG THE YAZOO 
 
 PASS EXPEDITION NAYAL EVOLUTIONS IN THE WOODS PILES 
 OF COTTON BURNED BY THE CONFEDERATES MR. TUB, THE 
 TELEGRAM-WIRE MAN THE PASS AT ROLLING FORK END OF 
 THE STEELE BAYOU EXPEDITION. 
 
 I INTENDED by this time to have departed from before Vicks 
 burg, and to leave it to future scribblers to write about, as no 
 doubt they will do, just as tourists visit the plains of Waterloo to 
 
THE YAZOO PASS EXPEDITION. 137 
 
 pick up relics and write an oft-told tale ; but there is a fascination 
 about the place (Vicksburg) that prevents me from tearing myself 
 away. 
 
 Everything about that siege is an anecdote or a reminiscence 
 worthy of being treasured up. 
 
 One of the liveliest reminiscences I have of the siege is what is 
 called the Yazoo Pass expedition one of three attempts we made 
 to get behind Vicksburg with a fleet of ironclads and a detachment 
 of the army in which I have to say that we failed most egregiously. 
 
 At one period of the siege the rains had swollen the Mississippi 
 River so much that it had backed its waters up into its tributaries, 
 which had risen seventeen feet, and, overflowing, had inundated the 
 country for many miles. 
 
 Great forests had become channels admitting the passage of 
 large steamers between the trees, and now and then wide lanes 
 were met with where a frigate might have passed. 
 
 The ironclads drew only seven feet of water and had no masts 
 or yards to encumber them, and but little about their decks that 
 could be swept away by the bushes or lower branches of the trees. 
 I had thoughts of trying the experiment of getting the vessels back 
 of Vicksburg in that way, and sent Lieutenant Murphy in a tug 
 to examine the woods as far as he could go, and to let me know the 
 results of his cruise as soon as possible. 
 
 Murphy soon returned with the most cheering news, and in 
 duced me to go with him and take a look for myself. General 
 Grant accompanied me, and, prepared with lead-lines to measure 
 the depth, we started off. 
 
 A few miles up the Yazoo, before reaching Haines s Bluff, we 
 came to an opening in the woods. Under the pilotage of Murphy, 
 the tug Jessie Benton darted into the bushes, and the man at the 
 lead took the soundings nothing less than fifteen feet. Presently 
 we reached an opening between the trees sufficiently wide to admit 
 two ironclads abreast. I suppose it was an ancient road in the 
 forest by which to haul cotton to the river. 
 
 "We followed this for five miles until we reached a forest of large 
 trees without any undergrowth, but with width enough between 
 them to admit the passage of our heaviest ironclad. This forest 
 permitted us to steam along about five miles farther, when we 
 came to a wide opening where there were but few trees. Here we 
 found a bayou leading to the westward with from ten to twelve feet 
 of water more than enough for our purposes. 
 
138 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 We knew this bayou led into the Rolling Fork, Yallabusha, 
 and Sunflower Rivers, though there was not generally enough 
 water in it to float a canoe. We could not ascend it then for fear 
 of alarming the inhabitants, or letting them know the news of our 
 arrival in these woods and having it conveyed to Vicksburg. 
 
 We saw all we wanted, and General Grant approved of the plan 
 I proposed of going up with some ironclads, tugs, etc., and trying 
 to get into the Sunflower ; that would lead us into the Yazoo 
 again, and we could come down and take Haines s Bluff in the 
 rear. 
 
 General Grant also determined to send General Sherman on the 
 expedition with ten thousand troops, and said we could make a 
 reconnoissance if we could do no more, for he saw from the first 
 that there was no use in sitting down before Vicksburg and simply 
 looking at it, or bombarding it to bring about a surrender ; we 
 would have lost time, and deposited our shell in the hills, increas 
 ing their weight in iron, without getting nearer to our object. 
 General Grant had from the first an idea of turning Vicksburg, but 
 how to do it was the question. He was obliged to have transports 
 if he went below the city and desired to cross the river to land on 
 the Vicksburg side, and enough of these transports to carry troops 
 and provisions. How was he to get these frail vessels below Vicks 
 burg without passing the batteries ? One shot would disable 
 them. He could depend upon the gun-boats to pass the batteries, 
 but there were not enough of them to convey the necessary number 
 of troops, and they had no accommodations for carrying provisions. 
 
 Besides, it would not do to take too many of the gun-boats be 
 low Vicksburg, for it would leave the upper Mississippi unguarded, 
 and the enemy would commence at once to erect batteries along 
 the river and stop the transportation of troops and stores. Dur 
 ing all Grant s operations before Vicksburg, while I had command 
 of the river force, he never had a transport molested. I so guarded 
 the Mississippi from Cairo down with gun-boats (which I was 
 building or altering incessantly) that flying batteries and guerrillas 
 so called were never able to make any headway. 
 
 General Grant had to think of all these things before he could 
 make a move for below. 
 
 He talked with me about it, and I assured him I was ready to 
 go the moment he desired it. He thought he might do some 
 thing that would enable him to get by Vicksburg without bringing 
 his transports under fire. He tried cutting a ditch across the 
 
NAVAL EVOLUTIONS IN THE WOODS. 139 
 
 peninsula, in hopes that the river would burst through there and 
 leave Vicksburg out in the cold. This occurred finally (after the 
 war), but too late for our operations, for, notwithstanding the 
 high stage of the water, it refused to run through the ditch ; heavy 
 eddies extended from the shore far out into the river and kept the 
 current away from the bank ; there was no cutting power in the 
 eddies. 
 
 Grant tried to make a channel through what was called Lake 
 Providence, but some of the vessels that tried this passage got 
 entangled in the woods, and came near remaining there. 
 
 Every known expedient had been tried without success, and 
 now it remained to attempt the route through the woods to the 
 west of the Yazoo Eiver. 
 
 Sixty or seventy miles above Vicksburg there was, many years 
 ago, an old pass into the Yallabusha and the Sunflower called the 
 Yazoo Pass. This had long since been closed up by a deep levee, 
 and the land, once overflowed through this pass, had become flour 
 ishing plantations. 
 
 It was proposed by some one to open the pass once more and let 
 the water flow in, making a deep channel by which we could send 
 in an expedition of gun-boats. These might reach the Yazoo River 
 that way back of Vicksburg and clear the way for the troops. 
 
 This plan met with approval, and General Grant and myself 
 determined, at the same time we were trying to get up through the 
 woods and the bayou into the Sunflower, that we would send a 
 naval and military expedition through the old Yazoo Pass. 
 
 This expedition consisted of two heavy ironclads, three or four 
 light-armed vessels, and about four thousand troops in transports. 
 The force arrived at the point selected, a few men dug a small 
 trench with spades, and in an hour the water was rushing in with 
 the force of a cataract, carrying away a hundred yards of the levee 
 and inundating hundreds of acres of land. It took twenty-four 
 hours for the water to reach a level, and then the gun-boats, with 
 out more ado, pitched in regardless of consequences, followed by 
 the transports. Then came the tug of war. The vessels were 
 swept along with great velocity until they got beyond the great 
 pressure of the water, or were stopped by the trees with their over 
 hanging branches, which brought them up all standing, bringing 
 their smoke-stacks on deck and knocking off some of the upper 
 cabins. 
 
 The ironclads stood the thumping better than the lighter ves- 
 
140 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 sels, for they had no cabins above, and all they had to fear was the 
 loss of their smoke-stacks and boats, some of which were crushed 
 to pieces. 
 
 All the vessels were at the mercy of the strong current. If one 
 of them for a moment grappled a tree to hold on by, she would 
 find another one sweeping down on her from astern, and, for fear 
 of being crushed, she had to let go, and then all floated on to 
 gether. 
 
 During the years in which the old Yazoo Pass had been closed 
 the heavy trees had mingled their branches across the stream, and 
 now often stopped the progress of the fleet. Then a thousand 
 hands would be set to work with axes and saws to clear away over 
 head for a mile or two in advance. 
 
 Sometimes the vessels would come bump against a small te Red 
 River raft," held securely by running vines or wedged in so strong 
 ly with a key-log that it would require hours of labor before they 
 could get the raft loose and let it go drifting down with the cur 
 rent ; then the fleet would push on again, and this lasted three or 
 four days, while the expedition only progressed forty miles. 
 
 Most of the light vessels were perfect wrecks in their upper 
 works. Their machinery and boilers held out, and that was all 
 that was required of them. It was a painful and ever- to-be-re 
 membered expedition to those who took part in it. 
 
 To make matters worse, the naval officer commanding the expe 
 dition showed symptoms of aberration of mind, and the other offi 
 cers with him had great difficulty in getting him to pursue proper 
 measures. The officer in charge of the troops got discontented 
 with the hard work his men had to perform in cutting down trees 
 and other obstructions. Still they kept pushing on, and no such 
 word as fail was heard. All wondered how they would get out of 
 that, or back again through that cataract ; but then their orders 
 were to push on and to come out behind Vicksburg ! Day and 
 night they moved along, taking no rest, though they would not 
 make more than two miles in twelve hours. It was work that tried 
 men s souls, and there are few naval officers left of all that party 
 who can sit down and tell of that adventure. Death s avaricious 
 hand has snatched most of them away, and it shows the effect the 
 toil and excitement of war will have on men of iron, with nerves of 
 steel, who, if they had been left to pursue the peaceful avocations 
 of life, would probably have been here now. 
 
 There is an end to all hard work, privation, and exposure. 
 
CHECK TO THE EXPEDITION. 141 
 
 Every one is either killed or used up, or gets to some place where 
 he can lie down and rest. 
 
 There is a certain amount of endurance sailors and soldiers 
 possess which is kept up as long as the nerve-power holds out, and 
 it was with a relieved feeling that the people of this expedition 
 could finally lie down and sleep without the disturbing noise of 
 crushing bulwarks, or the fall on the decks of decaying limbs. 
 They did not shun death nor danger, and at last they earned their 
 reward : " they slept." 
 
 The expedition reached an opening at last that entered another 
 stream almost wide enough for two vessels abreast, and without 
 overhanging trees, "Red River rafts," or sand-bars a pleasant, 
 swift-running stream that seemed willing to carry them whitherso 
 ever they wished to go, and they thought how their companions 
 who had stayed behind would envy them when they heard their 
 guns booming back of Haines s Bluff, startling the Confederates 
 out of their secure and comfortable sleep. 
 
 They were anxious to get on, and the command, owing to the 
 unfortunate condition of the senior officer, fell upon the next in 
 rank, as brave a fellow as ever stepped on a ship s deck. He had 
 the whistles blown for getting under way, and sang out, " On to 
 Yicksburg, boys, and no more trees to saw ! " The flotilla moved 
 on about a mile, and, on turning a bend, ran almost into a fort in 
 the middle of the river, with the channel each side blocked by 
 sunken steamers. Heavy rifled guns were mounted in the works, 
 and there was a large body of troops in the fort who jumped to 
 their pieces the moment our vessels appeared in sight. 
 
 These works were all new, and the guns just mounted ; the 
 sunken steamers had scarcely blown off their steam. They had but 
 a few hours ago brought the guns and carriages, and thrown up 
 breastworks on the sudden bend in the river (or half island), and 
 seeing our forces close at hand, they had sunk the steamers to pre 
 vent our gun-boats from running past the battery. All this took 
 our people by surprise. They knew from the truthful contrabands 
 that there was no such work on this stream until they should reach 
 Haines s Bluff. 
 
 Here was a check with a vengeance. Had the fort been alto 
 gether ready it would have given the lighter vessels of the expedi 
 tion a warm reception as they came so confidingly down the 
 river, and were so mixed up. As to the transports and troops, 
 they would have fared badly. There was no way of turning 
 
14:2 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the steamers around and going up stream again, for the river was 
 too narrow. 
 
 The vessels had to get hold of each other and back up against 
 the stream until they could reach a bend where they could not be 
 seen. While they were doing all this they would have been exposed 
 to a raking fire had the enemy had his powder ready. Laus Deo ! 
 he had not loaded his guns, and was in quite as much excitement 
 over the apparition of two large ironclads and a dozen transports 
 and light gun-boats with the pipes all knocked over, and their 
 cabins and light work all gone, as was our party. 
 
 They no doubt wondered where they all came from, and how 
 they got there. 
 
 The Yazoo Pass expedition was supposed to have been prepared 
 without any one knowing anything about its destination except 
 General Grant and myself and the commanding naval and military 
 officers, and, even until a spade was stuck into the earth to open the 
 pass, it was thought that the destination of the expedition was a 
 profound secret. Yes, pretty much such a secret as a dozen women 
 would keep. 
 
 Secret or not, here the expedition was met almost at its first 
 entrance to those inland waters by heavy earthworks, three or four 
 rifled cannon, and a body of troops. The question was, What was 
 to be done ? 
 
 The ironclads, after going backward for a time, tied up to the 
 bank, and, overlapping each other, opened fire on the enemy s 
 work, which turned out to be named Fort Pemberton, after the 
 wily old soldier in command at Vicksburg. 
 
 Ours was a pretty piece of strategy for getting into the rear of 
 Vicksburg, but Pemberton s was better, as it checkmated us com 
 pletely, and this often happened in the siege. 
 
 The Confederates were a wide-awake set of adversaries, full of 
 energy and courage, and not lacking in resources. They were 
 working with all their souls to attain an object which they consid 
 ered conducive to their happiness, and they did not care whom 
 they hurt, so long as they could succeed. 
 
 Our people, though quite as energetic as the Southerners, 
 fought with a different sentiment. There was still some kindly 
 feeling left in them for their foes, whose courage and endurance 
 under great privation often called forth applause. We were not 
 fighting with the courage of despair. A man of ordinary intellect 
 could see the end which would be the downfall of the Southern 
 
DESPERATION OF THE SOUTHERNERS. 143 
 
 Confederacy. It was as plain as the writing on the wall at the 
 feast of Belshazzar. 
 
 The Southerners were fighting with the energy of despair, hop 
 ing that some untoward event might spring up to help them. At 
 all events, they were determined to command their enemy s respect 
 for their courage and ability, and I don t think any brave sailor or 
 soldier ever withheld it. 
 
 Our troops were flocking to the fields of battle by the hundred 
 thousands at a time, when the Confederate troops began to give 
 out in numbers. We were certain of means, suffered very little of 
 the discomforts by sieges and bombardments experienced by the 
 Confederates, had no rancorous feeling to urge us on, and simply 
 desired to see the laws vindicated and the authority of the Gov 
 ernment established over revolting States. There were occasions 
 when we did not seem to count the value of time, and our ener 
 gies, though well put forth, did not equal those of our enemies. 
 
 On our side there was not a sufficient unity in command ; there 
 was a kind of " stand-off " between the army and the navy when 
 acting together, which prevented them from working in harmony 
 and with one purpose. There should always have been one man in 
 an expedition in command of the whole, and his authority should 
 have been so manifest that there would have been no appeal from 
 his orders. 
 
 This was not the case in the Yazoo Pass expedition. Each 
 corps commanded its men independent of the other, and there 
 seemed no disposition to act in concert. 
 
 The course of General Grant and myself in all such matters 
 corresponded entirely with what I have suggested. Though he had 
 no control over me whatever, and I was never tied down by any 
 orders from the Navy Department, but left to my own discretion, 
 I always deferred to his wishes in all matters, and went so far as 
 to give orders to those under my command that they should obey 
 the orders of Generals Grant and Sherman the same as if they 
 came from myself. Hence we always acted with the most perfect 
 accord. 
 
 In this case the officer commanding the troops should have been 
 subject to the orders of the naval officer. Then, I think, we would 
 have discomfited General Pemberton s strategy by taking posses 
 sion of his fort. 
 
 When the ironclads, the Chilicothe, Captain Foster, and the 
 Baron de Kalb, under Captain Walker, opened their bow guns (the 
 
144: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 only ones they could use), the fort responded promptly, and in a 
 short time jammed the port shutters of the Chilicothe so that they 
 could not be opened. It was certain death for a man to go out on 
 the bow to work with chisel and hammer, and Captain Foster had 
 to withdraw from action until he could remedy the difficulty. In 
 the mean time the Baron de Kalb remained and sustained the 
 action alone, and so well was the fire directed that half an hour 
 after the Chilicothe returned to her station the fort stopped firing, 
 though the Confederate flag was kept flying. 
 
 Now was the time for the troops to operate ; they should have 
 been sent out as sharpshooters, should have crawled within fifty 
 yards of the works, and kept up such a fusillade that nothing could 
 have stood it. 
 
 The vessels could not get near to the fort without being blown 
 up by torpedoes. One torpedo did explode right in front of the 
 Chilicothe when she took her position the second time, and no 
 doubt they were planted all around the works, and for some dis 
 tance from them. 
 
 There were not sailors enough to undertake to carry the works 
 in boats, and everything was at a stand-still. The army officer in 
 command took no suggestion from any one, and declined to assault 
 the fort (which was a low one) and have his men sacrificed. 
 Pemberton s strategy succeeded, and our party left the place, 
 struggling back again wearily through the Yazoo Pass, which we 
 had taken so much trouble to clean out, having inundated many 
 thousands of acres to no purpose at all. 
 
 Great complaints were made by both sides as to whose fault it 
 was that there was a failure, but I told the navy I didn t want to 
 hear anything about it ; they did not get through, and didn t get 
 the fort, and the less said about it the better. " It was just one of 
 the episodes of the war " (my consolation when I met with a fail 
 ure), and I never wanted to hear of the Yazoo Pass expedition 
 again. 
 
 I had gone through the mill myself and knew exactly how it 
 was, and didn t feel much like blaming any one. These expedi 
 tions don t sound badly on paper, but they were enough to try 
 men s souls. 
 
 About the time the Yazoo Pass expedition got off I proposed 
 an expedition to go through the woods by the same route explored 
 by General Grant and myself. 
 
 I determined to go myself, and, to make it a success, I omitted 
 
REMARKABLE MILITARY AND NAVAL EXPEDITION. 145 
 
 nothing that might possibly be wanted on such an expedition. I 
 selected the ironclads Louisville, Lieutenant-Commanding Owen ; 
 Cincinnati, Lieutenant- Commanding Bache ; Carondelet, Lieuten 
 ant-Commanding Murphy ; Mound City, Lieutenant-Commanding 
 Wilson ; Pittsburgh, Lieutenant-Commanding Hoel, and four tugs ; 
 also two light mortar-boats built for the occasion, to carry each a 
 thirteen-inch mortar and shells enough to bombard a city. 
 
 I really do believe I thought I was sure of getting in the rear 
 of Yicksburg, and could send some more shells into the hills that 
 would keep them fastened down to eternity. 
 
 At the same time General Sherman prepared his contingent to 
 accompany the expedition. 
 
 General Grant was so much interested in this work that he went 
 up to the end of the woods on one of the transports to see Sherman 
 start on his march alongside of the gun-boats, and gave his per 
 sonal attention toward pushing ahead those of Sherman s troops 
 that had not reached us in the transports. These now and then 
 got lost in the thick woods, and sometimes got their pipes knocked 
 down. 
 
 This was one of the most remarkable military and naval expedi 
 tions that ever set out in any country, and will be so ranked by those 
 who read of it in future times. 
 
 Here was a dense forest, deeply inundated, so that large steamers 
 could ply about among the trees with perfect impunity. They were 
 as much at home there as the wild denizens of the forest would be 
 in dry times. 
 
 The animals of all kinds had taken to the trees as the only arks 
 of safety. Coons, rats, mice, and wild cats were in the branches, 
 and if they were not a happy family, it was because when they lay 
 down together the smaller animals reposed within the larger ones. 
 
 It was a curious sight to see a line of ironclads and mortar-boats, 
 tugs and transports, pushing their way through the long, wide lane 
 in the woods without touching on either side, though sometimes a 
 rude tree would throw Briarean arms around the smoke-stack of the 
 tin-clad Forest Rose, or the transport Molly Miller, and knock their 
 bonnets sideways. 
 
 It all looked as though the world had suddenly got topsy-turvy, 
 or that there was a great camp-meeting in the woods on board iron 
 clads and transports. 
 
 The difficulty was to preserve quiet, so that our presence might 
 not be detected by the enemy s scouts. It could not be possible, I 
 10 
 
146 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 thought, that the besieged in Vicksburg would not have sought an 
 opportunity to reconnoitre our lines by means of canoes, or even 
 communicate with some of those who were always to be found faith 
 less to their trust. Indeed, I would not have been much surprised 
 to see a rebel iron-clad ram lurking somewhere in the bushes, ready 
 to spring out on us. They were building two of them in Yazoo 
 City, where the ram Arkansas came from. Why should we not 
 meet them here ? 
 
 If one had suddenly slid down a tree and attacked us I should 
 not have been much surprised. The only reason why that was not 
 likely to happen was that the Confederates were not lucky "in 
 Aries" and generally managed to lose their rams and ironclads soon 
 after they were built. They would perform some creditable feat 
 with these vessels, and then blow them up, or set fire to them, to 
 keep them from falling into our hands. 
 
 Besides, I had little fear of the rams at Yazoo City, as I knew 
 their condition, through a truthful contraband, who informed me, 
 "Dey has no bottom in, no sides to em, an no top on to em, sah, 
 an deir injines is in Richmon ." 
 
 We ran on, in line of battle, eight or ten miles through the open 
 way in the trees, carrying fifteen feet of water by the lead-line. Let 
 the nautical reader imagine an old quartermaster in the "chains" 
 of an ironclad steaming through the woods and singing out, " Quar 
 ter less three ! - Truth is stranger than fiction. 
 
 At last we came to a point where the forest was close and com 
 posed of very large trees old monarchs of the woods which had 
 spread their arms for centuries over those silent solitudes : Titans, 
 like those in the old fables, that dominate over all around them. 
 
 In the distance, between the trees, would spring into sight gray, 
 sunless glens in which the dim, soft ripple of day seemed to glimmer 
 for a second so fancifully, indeed, that it required but a slight stretch 
 of imagination to see the wood-nymphs disporting in their baths. 
 
 The sun seldom reached these woody glades, and, if it did, it 
 was but to linger for a moment and disappear, like the bright star 
 of eve, behind a silver cloud. 
 
 It all looked like some infinite world in which we were adrift, 
 where the sky, soft and serene (which we had been accustomed to 
 see), had been furled in anticipation of a squall. 
 
 Every turn of the wheels sent an echo through the woods that 
 would frighten the birds of prey from their perches, whence they 
 were looking down upon the waste of waters, wondering (no doubt) 
 
RAMMING AND PULLING AT BIG TREES. 
 
 what it all might mean, and whom these mighty buzzards, skim 
 ming over the waters and carrying everything before them, could 
 possibly be. 
 
 Our line of battle was broken on approaching the large trees ; 
 then we had to go more cautiously. What, thought I, if the trees 
 should become so dense that we could not pass between them ; what 
 would we do then ? I solved the difficulty at once. "Ram that 
 large tree there," I said to the captain of the Cincinnati ; " let us 
 see what effect the old turtle will have on it." It was an unneces 
 sary act of vandalism to injure the old Titan, but it would shorten 
 our road, and we would not be obliged to go meandering about to 
 find a channel. We struck the tree while going at the rate of three 
 knots an hour, and bounded off, but started it about twenty degrees 
 from the perpendicular. The light soil about its roots had become 
 softened by the water, and the tree had not much staying power. 
 I backed again and gave it another ram, and the weight of eight 
 hundred tons, with a three-knot velocity, sent it out of all propriety. 
 I hailed the ironclad astern of me, and ordered her to bend a heavy 
 cfyain to it and pull it down, which was accomplished in half an 
 hour. 
 
 I wanted to see what we could do at ramming and pulling at big 
 trees, and our experience so gained came into play before we got 
 through the expedition. 
 
 It was all very pleasant at first, skimming along over summer 
 seas, under the shade of stalwart oaks, but we had no conception of 
 what we had before us. 
 
 We had to knock down six or eight of these large trees before 
 we could reach the point where Sherman was disembarking part of 
 his troops. When I came up he was on a piece of high ground, on 
 an old white horse some of his "boys " had captured. 
 
 " Halloo, old fellow/ he sang out, " what do you call this ? 
 This must be traverse sailing. You think it s all very fine just 
 now, don t you ; but, before you fellows get through, you won t 
 have a smoke-stack or a boat among you." 
 
 "So much the better," I said; "it will look like business, 
 and we will get new ones. All I want is an engine, guns, and 
 a hull to float them. As to boats, they are very much in the 
 way." 
 
 At this point we ran up alongside higher land which looked like 
 a levee. 
 
 " Is this the last of it ? " I asked Sherman. 
 
14:8 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "No," he said ; "steam on about twenty yards to the west, and 
 you will find a hole through a kind of leyee wide enough, I think, 
 for your widest vessel. That is Cypress Bayou ; it leads into the 
 Sunflower about seventy-five miles distant, and a devil of a time 
 you ll have of it. Look out those fellows don t catch you. I ll be 
 after you." 
 
 Sherman knew every bayou and stream in that part of the 
 country better than the oldest inhabitants knew them. 
 
 I pushed on, my fleet following, and soon found myself inside 
 the bayou. It was exactly forty-six feet wide. My vessel was 
 forty-two feet wide, and that was the average width of the others. 
 This place seemed to have been a bayou with high levees bordering, 
 reaching, indeed, above the vessel s guns. 
 
 It had been made, I suppose, into a kind of canal to connect 
 the waters of the Sunflower by a short cut with those of the 
 Yazoo, near Haines s Bluff. All on the left of the levee was deep 
 water in the woods. On the other side were cornfields. The levee 
 had stopped the further encroachment of the flood. This bayou 
 had not been used for many years for the purposes of navigation. 
 It had almost closed up, and the middle of it was filled with little 
 willows which promised to be great impediments to us, but, as there 
 was nine feet of water in the ditch, I pushed on. 
 
 Sherman told me he would follow me along the left bank of the 
 ditch with his troops, and be up with me before I knew it, as he 
 would make two miles to my one. 
 
 It was intended from the first that we should travel along to 
 gether for mutual support. We to transport him across rivers and 
 marshes, he to keep off sharp-shooters, whom we could not reach 
 with our guns on account of the high banks. We left Sherman at 
 the point where we found him arranging his men, and I pushed into 
 the bayou with my whole force, keeping one tug in the advance with 
 one mortar-boat, the ironclads in the middle, and the other tugs 
 and mortar-boat with the coal-barge bringing up the rear. 
 
 We supposed we were doing all this very secretly, and were go 
 ing to surprise the natives. No doubt we did surprise those who 
 dwelt on and along the Cypress Bayou, but our movement was 
 probably no surprise to the Confederates in Vicksburg. I am quite 
 satisfied in my own mind that, while we were steaming along and 
 performing naval evolutions in the woods, the President of the 
 Southern Confederacy was reading something like the following 
 dispatch to his Cabinet : 
 
GOING AHEAD BETWEEN BURNING BALES OF COTTON. 149 
 
 " Sherman and Porter pirouetting through the woods in steam 
 ers and ironclads. Are keeping a lookout on them. Hope to bag 
 them all before to-morrow." 
 
 We had not entered the bayou more than half a mile before we 
 saw the greatest excitement prevailing. Men on horseback were 
 flying in all directions. Cattle, instead of being driven in, were 
 driven off to parts unknown. Pigs were driven by droves to the 
 far woods, and five hundred negroes were engaged in driving into 
 the fields all the chickens, turkeys, ducks, and geese, and what were 
 a few moments before smiling barn-yards, were now as bare of 
 poultry as your hand. I had issued an order against capturing 
 anything on shore, but the difficulty was to find out where the 
 shore was, as apparently the Cypress Bayou ran right through the 
 middle of a stable-yard. 
 
 I informed the sailors that loot naturally belonged to the army, 
 but that prize in the shape of cotton marked "C. S. A." belonged 
 to them. A mile from the entrance to the bayou there were two 
 piles of cotton containing six thousand bales, and placed opposite 
 each other on the banks of the stream in which we were then just 
 holding our way against its two-knot current. 
 
 Suddenly I saw two men rush up from each side of the bayou 
 and apply a lighted pine-knot to each pile. " What fools these 
 mortals be ! " I said to an officer, " but I suppose those men have a 
 right to burn their own cotton, especially as we have no way of pre 
 venting them." 
 
 "I can send a howitzer-shell at them, sir," he said, "and drive 
 them away." 
 
 " No," I replied, " that might kill them, and we don t want to 
 do that except in battle." 
 
 So the two men went on with their work of destruction. They 
 applied the torches to every part of the two piles, and in twenty 
 minutes there was a column of smoke ascending to the skies, and the 
 passage between the piles became very much obscured. 
 
 "How long will it take that cotton to burn up ?" I inquired 
 of a darkey who was asking permission to come on board. 
 
 "Two day, Massa," the negro answered ; "sometime free." 
 
 By this time all the outside of the cotton was blazing. " Ring 
 the bell to go ahead fast," I ordered, "and tell those astern to fol 
 low after me." I was on board the Cincinnati. " Go ahead fast 
 the tug and mortar-boat," and away we all went, darting through 
 between the burning bales. 
 
150 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 All the ports were shut in and the crews called to fire quarters, 
 standing ready with fire-buckets to meet the enemy s fire. 
 
 It reminded me a little of the fire-raft at Fort Jackson, but we 
 soon got used to them. 
 
 The fellows on the tug wet themselves and boat all over yery 
 thoroughly, and as they darted through, being below the bank, 
 they did not suffer much ; but the paint was blistered on the boat, 
 and the fire scorched the men. 
 
 Myself, captain, and wheelman were the only ones on deck when 
 the Cincinnati passed through, but the heat was so intense that I 
 had to jump inside a small house on deck covered with iron, the 
 captain following me. The helmsman covered himself up with an 
 old flag that lay in the wheel-house. The hose was pointed up the 
 hatch to the upper deck and everything drenched with water, but 
 it did not render the heat less intolerable. 
 
 The boats escaped with some blistering. The smoke was even 
 worse than the heat, and I have often since imagined how a brave 
 firemam feels when he is looking through a burning house in search 
 of helpless people. 
 
 Just after we passed through the fire there was a dreadful crash, 
 which some thought was an earthquake. We had run into and 
 quite through a span of bridge about fifty feet long, and demolished 
 the whole fabric, having failed to see it in the smoke. 
 
 There was a yell among the negroes on the bank, who looked on 
 with amazement at the doings of "Mas Linkum s gun-boats." 
 
 " What dey gwine ter do nex ? " said an old patriarch. 
 
 The next we did was to stop and breathe after getting through 
 that smoke, and look back and regret the loss of the cotton. The 
 worst thing to be done with cotton is to burn it, especially when it 
 is not your own. 
 
 Here was the Confederate Government complaining of Northern 
 oppression, and yet their own agents were riding around on horse 
 back, setting fire to the people s cotton to keep it from falling into 
 our hands, while, if they had let it alone, it would not have been 
 troubled by us, except by giving a receipt for it, and, when the war 
 was over, the owners would have netted more than the full value of 
 their property. 
 
 This was one of the worst cases of vandalism I had yet seen. 
 
 When all the vessels had passed through the flame and smoke 
 we hauled up at a small collection of houses, where the negro women 
 were running around screaming and driving in the pigs and poultry. 
 
A SURLY PLANTATION OVERSEER. 151 
 
 A burly overseer, weighing over two hundred pounds, sat at the 
 door of a log-hut with a pipe in his mouth. He was a white man, 
 half bull-dog, half blood-hound, and his face expressed everything 
 that was bad in human nature, but he smoked away as if nothing 
 was the matter as Nero fiddled while Kome was burning. 
 
 He looked on us with perfect indifference ; our presence didn t 
 seem to disturb him at all. Doubtless he felt quite secure ; that we 
 didn t want anything so bad as he was. 
 
 I called to him, and he came down in his shirt-sleeves, bare 
 headed, and lacked stolidly at me as if to say, ( Well, what do you 
 want?" 
 
 " Why did those fools set fire to that cotton ? " I inquired. 
 
 "Because they didn t want you fools to have it," he replied. 
 "It s ourn, and I guess things ain t come to such a pass that we 
 can t do as we please with our own." 
 
 " Tell them we won t trouble it," I said ; " it is wicked to see 
 such material going off like smoke. " 
 
 In five minutes he had a dozen negroes at his side, and they were 
 all sent up the bayou on a full run to stop the burning of cotton. 
 He believed our word, and we did not disappoint him. 
 
 "And who are you ?" I inquired of the man. 
 
 "I am in charge of this plantation," he replied; "this is the 
 mother of my children" pointing to a fat, thick-lipped negress 
 who stood, with her bosom all bare and arms a-kimbo, about ten 
 yards away "and these fine fellows are my children," he contin 
 ued, pointing to some light-colored boys who had followed him 
 down. 
 
 "I suppose you are Union, of course ? You all are so when it 
 suits you," I said. 
 
 "No, by G , I m not, and never will be; and as to the 
 
 others, I know nothing about them. Find out for yourself. I m 
 for Jeff Davis first, last, and all the time. Do you want any more 
 of me?" he inquired, "for I am not a loquacious man at any 
 time." 
 
 "No, I want nothing more with you," I replied ; "but I am 
 going to steam into that bridge of yours across the stream and knock 
 it down. Is it strongly built ? " 
 
 "You may knock it down and be d d," he said. "It don t 
 belong to me ; and, if you want to find out how strong it is, pitch 
 into it. You ll find a hard nut to crack; it ain t made of 
 candy." 
 
152 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " You are a Yankee by birth, are you not ? " I asked. 
 
 "Yes, d n it, I am," he replied ; "that s no reason I should 
 like the institution. I cut it long ago," and he turned on his heel 
 and walked off. 
 
 " King Go ahead fast, " I said to the captain ; " we will let that 
 fellow see what bridge-smashers we are. " 
 
 In three minutes we were going four knots through the water, 
 and in one more we went smashing through the bridge as if it was 
 paper. I looked toward the overseer to see how he would take it, 
 but he did not even turn his head as he sat at his door smoking. 
 
 This man was but one remove from a brute, but there were 
 hundreds more like him. 
 
 We came to one more bridge; down it went like nine-pins, and 
 we steamed slowly on, forcing our way through small, lithe willows 
 that seemed to hold us in a grip of iron. This lasted for an hour, 
 during which we made but half a mile. 
 
 But that was the last of the willows for a time. Had they con 
 tinued, we would have been obliged to give it up. The small sprouts, 
 no larger than my little finger, caught in the rough plates of the 
 overhang and held us as the threads of the Lilliputians held Gulli 
 ver. 
 
 Now we came to extensive woods again on either side, the large 
 trees towering in the air, while underneath they looked as if their 
 lower branches had been trimmed to give them a uniform appear 
 ance ; but they had only been trimmed by the hand of Nature, 
 whose fair impression fell on all about us. Man only marred the 
 prospect there. 
 
 The banks of the bayou were high with large, overhanging trees 
 upon them, and the long branches of the latter stretched out into 
 the stream, endangering our pipes and boats. The channel was here 
 exactly the width of the ironclads forty-two feet and we had to 
 cut our way with the overhang through the soft soil and the twin 
 ing roots. It was hard and slow work. The brutal overseer felt 
 quite sure that we would be bagged before night. He didn t know 
 that Sherman was right behind us with an army, and an army, too, 
 that was no respecter of ducks, chickens, pigs, or turkeys, for they 
 used to say of one particular regiment in Sherman s corps that it 
 could catch, scrape, and skin a hog without a soldier leaving the 
 ranks. I was in hopes they would pay the apostate Yankee a visit, 
 if only to teach him good manners. 
 
 The gun-boats, at this stage of the cruise, were following each 
 
SOME IDEA OF CYPRESS BAYOU. 153 
 
 other about a quarter of a mile apart. The only idea I can give of 
 Cypress Bayou is to fake, a string up and down a paper two hundred 
 or more times. We did nothing but turn upon our course about 
 every twenty minutes. At one time the vessels would all be steam 
 ing on different courses. One would be standing north, another 
 south, another east, and yet another west through the woods. One 
 minute an ironclad would apparently be leading ahead, and the 
 next minute would as apparently be steering the other way. The 
 tugs and mortar-boats seemed to be mixed up in the most marvel 
 ous manner. 
 
 There was a fair road on the right of the bayou, along which 
 Sherman s troops would have to march, and all that was required to 
 make the situation look confusing and confounding was to have the 
 soldiers marching beside the gun-boats. 
 
 I was in the leading vessel, and necessarily had to clear the way 
 for the others. The bayou was full of logs that had been there for 
 years. They had grown soggy and heavy, and sometimes one end, 
 being heavier than the other, would sink to the bottom, while the 
 other end would remain pointing upward, presenting the appear 
 ance of chevaux-de-frise, over which we could no more pass than 
 we could fly. We had to have working parties in the road with 
 tackles and hook-ropes to haul these logs out on the banks before 
 we could pass on. 
 
 Again, we would come to a " Red River raft " that had been im 
 bedded in the mud for ages. All these had to be torn asunder and 
 hauled out with a labor that no one who had not tried it could con 
 ceive of. 
 
 Then, again, we would get jammed between two large, over 
 hanging trees. We could not ram them down as we did in the 
 woods, with plenty of "sea room" around us. We had to chop 
 away the sides of the trees with axes. 
 
 A great many of these large trees had decayed branches, and 
 when the heavy ironclad would touch the trunk of one (though 
 going only at the rate of half a mile an hour, which was the most 
 we could make at any time in the ditch), the shock would be so 
 great, and the resultant vibration of the tree so violent, that the 
 branches would come crashing on deck, smashing the boats and sky 
 lights and all the frame- work that they reached. 
 
 An hour after entering the very narrow part of the ditch, where 
 we really had not a foot to spare, we had parted with everything 
 like a boat, and cut them away as useless appendages. Indeed, they 
 
154 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 were of no use to us, and only in the way. When we got rid of 
 them we got along better. 
 
 The vessels behind learned a good deal from our experience, and 
 lowered their boats and towed them astern, though that did not re 
 lieve them entirely. 
 
 Sometimes we would have to pass a dead tree, with its weird- 
 looking branches threatening us with destruction in case we should 
 handle it too roughly. We received quantities of dead branches, 
 and we never knocked a dead tree without suffering terrible dam- 
 
 No wonder the overseer took our going on so coolly. He ex 
 pected that we would get jammed before we went a mile. 
 
 That day, by sunset, we had made eight miles, which was a large 
 day s work, considering all the impediments, but when night came 
 . which it did early in the deep wood we had to tie up to the 
 bank, set watches, and wait until daylight, until which time we 
 hoped to give our men to rest. 
 
 But, the reader will ask, what was the Confederacy doing all 
 this while ? They may imagine that Pemberton didn t know any 
 thing about this romantic pirouetting through the woods of "Mas 
 Linkum s gun-boats." 
 
 Not a bit of it ; he knew all about it. He had sent telegrams, 
 no doubt, to Kichmond, announcing the fact that the Union navy 
 was making a cruise through the woods and over the farms in the 
 Yazoo country, and would likely, in course of time, reach Kich 
 mond itself in that way. He was not afraid of Vicksburg that 
 never struck him and he didn t know (or I thought he didn t) 
 that I had two mortar-boats with which I expected to bombard 
 Yicksburg in the rear ! 
 
 No doubt the Confederate Cabinet chuckled when they were in 
 formed that the authorities at Vicksburg would, in the course of a 
 day or two, bag the whole American navy in the western waters, 
 though, strange to say, that idea never entered my head. 
 
 We stopped that evening about seven o clock, and about an hour 
 later we heard the chopping of wood in the forest. We had seen 
 no one along the stream since we had left that burly overseer. The 
 truthful and intelligent contrabands, in whom I was wont to repose 
 confidence, were nowhere to be seen, whereat I marveled much, 
 knowing their sociable disposition and the lofty aspirations they 
 felt with regard to the liberty of their race. 
 
 They were so faithful in adherence to their protectors that they 
 
TREES FELLED TO CLOSE THE STREAM AGAINST US. 155 
 
 would come in in crowds with wild inventions of moves on the part 
 of the enemy if they could not find something real to tell. 
 
 I missed these ingenious creatures, and wondered what had be 
 come of them. It was true we were hard to get at in this swamp, 
 though there was a road on one side and a levee on the other ; the 
 southern side was an interminable waste of water and wood. 
 
 I was always of an inquiring mind, and determined to find out 
 what the wood-chopping meant. It seemed to me that there were 
 a dozen axes at work. 
 
 I put a twelve-pound boat-howitzer on the tug, and sent her 
 ahead to see what was going on. In twenty minutes I heard the 
 report of the howitzer, and then another, and another. Then a 
 steam whistle was blown from the tug, and all was silent. No more 
 axes heard cutting wood. 
 
 In a very short time the tug was heard returning, snorting as if 
 carrying a heavy pressure of steam, and every now and then giving 
 some playful screams with the whistle. The forest fairly reverber 
 ated with the sound. 
 
 The officer in charge reported that he had suddenly come upon 
 a large body of negroes, under the charge of some white men carry 
 ing lanterns, cutting trees on the banks of the stream we were in ; 
 that they had felled a tree three feet in diameter, and this had 
 fallen right across the bayou, closing the stream completely against 
 our advance. 
 
 There was the secret of our not meeting the truthful contraband. 
 He was employed in hemming us in. He was too accustomed to 
 implicit obedience to his master to refuse to do anything imposed 
 upon him. He was too ignorant to have formed any opinions on 
 the subject of doing something to deserve liberty. Oppression was 
 second nature to him, obedience one of Heaven s first laws, and he 
 helped to chop down those trees with as much glee as children would 
 feel at setting fire to a hay-stack. 
 
 There was but one thing to do : Move ahead and clear the chan 
 nel of a tree across it, three feet in diameter, spreading its branches 
 over an area of seventy by one hundred and fifty feet. 
 
 We worked ahead slowly with men in advance on the bank, with 
 lanterns to show what dangers there were. We arrived at the fallen 
 tree in less than an hour, and made arrangements while under way 
 for removing it. 
 
 It was not a matter of great labor. Two large snatch-blocks 
 were strapped to standing trees as leaders. The largest hawser was 
 
156 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 passed through the snatch-blocks, one end made fast to the fallen 
 tree, and the other end taken to a steamer. " Back the ironclad 
 hard," and the obstruction began to move slowly over the water. 
 In less than ten minutes it was landed clear across the road, so that 
 Sherman s soldiers wouldn t have to march around it. 
 
 A second application of this improvised " power gear," and the 
 route was again free. 
 
 The Confederates didn t think of all that when they tried to bag 
 us in that way. They forgot the ingenuity of American seamen. 
 
 "Now," I said to the officer in charge of the tug, "go ahead 
 with all the speed you have, and see that no more trees are cut down 
 to-night ; and, though I shall be sorry to harm that faithful friend 
 and brother, the contraband, if he continues to chop at any one s 
 dictation you must give him shrapnel," and off the tug started. 
 
 "We could already hear the faint strokes of the axes in advance 
 of us, and no doubt the managers, having cut one tree down and 
 supposing that they had blocked the game on us for the night, and 
 not knowing our facilities for removing trees, had, as soon as they 
 imagined themselves out of reach of the howitzer, set to work at 
 cutting other trees, with the intention that we should never see the 
 Sunflower, nor get in the rear of Vicksburg. The Confederates 
 were energetic, and it was wonderful how soon they got their ma 
 chinery to work. 
 
 Some twenty minutes after the tug left us we heard the howitzer 
 firing rapidly, and then all was quiet, excepting three steam whistles, 
 which meant all well. 
 
 At one o clock that night the tug s small boat returned to us 
 with the report that the choppers had commenced cutting about 
 twenty of the largest trees, but that none had been completely felled ; 
 that they had captured two truthful contrabands, who informed 
 them that the parties directing the cutting of trees were officers 
 from Vicksburg ; that they had pressed three hundred negroes into 
 the work and made them use their axes with pistols to their heads, 
 and gave them plenty of whisky. 
 
 "The officers are from Vicksburg !" I said ; "and we thought 
 ourselves so smart ! No doubt they started before we did, and got 
 their instructions from Richmond. What next ? " 
 
 " The officer" (Lieutenant Murphy) "says, sir, he will continue 
 on all night, and thinks no more trees will be cut down at present." 
 
 I didn t care about the trees. I was just then thinking how I 
 would feel if they should block up the head of the pass with cotton 
 
VERMIN SHAKEN OUT OF TREES ON OUR DECK. 157 
 
 bales and earth, and leave me and mine sticking in the mud at the 
 bottom of the bayou. 
 
 What a time, I thought, Sherman would have digging us out 
 but I was sure he wouldn t mind doing it. 
 
 Nevertheless, we put out guards along the road, and slept as 
 comfortably as if we had been at the Fifth Avenue Hotel. Some 
 how or other I didn t think the Confederacy could bag me as long 
 as I had Sherman in company with his stalwart fellows half sailor, 
 half soldier, with a touch of the snapping turtle. 
 
 At daylight next morning we moved ahead, and all that day 
 toiled as men never toiled before. Our vessels looked like wrecks, 
 and there was scarcely a whole boat left in the fleet. Evening found 
 us fourteen miles ahead, but where was Sherman ? There was only 
 one road, so he couldn t have taken the wrong one. 
 
 I had been rather precipitate in rushing ahead with the fleet, 
 though I could not have been of any help to Sherman, but I would 
 have had the services of the army to stop the tree-cutting, which I 
 now had to do myself by sending out a detachment of two hundred 
 men from the vessels. These men were ordered to march all night 
 along the road while the tug covered them with her howitzer. 
 
 It were vain to tell all the hardships of the third day. The 
 plot seemed to thicken as we advanced, and old logs, small Red 
 River rafts, and rotten trees overhanging the banks, seemed to 
 accumulate. 
 
 The dead trees were full of vermin of all sorts. Insects of every 
 kind and shape, such as are seen only in Southern climes, infested 
 these trees. Rats and mice, driven from the fields by the high 
 water, had taken up their abode in the hollow trunks and rotten 
 branches. Snakes of every kind and description had followed the 
 rats and mice to these old arks of safety. These innocent creatures 
 knew nothing of the insecurity of their adopted homes in presence 
 of the butting ironclads. Small wonder. Who would have dreamed 
 of such things in these regions ? 
 
 A canoe might have been seen, perhaps, of late years winding 
 its way down these tortuous channels of a moonlight night, 
 manned by a couple of dissipated darkies out on a coon-hunt, but 
 navigation by anything larger in these waters was unknown. 
 
 Sometimes, when we would strike against one of these trees, a 
 multitude of vermin would be shaken out on the deck among 
 them rats, mice, cockroaches, snakes, and lizards, which would be 
 swept overboard by the sailors standing ready with their brooms. 
 
158 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Once an old coon landed on deck, with the life half knocked out of 
 him, but he came to in a short time and fought his way on shore. 
 Even the coons were prejudiced against us, and refused to be com 
 forted on board, though I am sorry to say we found more Union 
 feeling among the bugs of all kinds, which took kindly to the iron 
 clads, and would have remained with us indefinitely had they been 
 permitted to do so. 
 
 Three days hard work and no hope of seeing the Sunflower 
 Eiver ! "We had made one capture. Lieutenant Murphy had gone 
 ahead and taken possession of an Indian mound as old as the 
 deluge ; no one remembered its age. 
 
 Why had not the Confederates taken possession of the place and 
 fortified it ? It must have been because they thought it worthless. 
 They showed themselves to be poor judges in such matters. But 
 Lieutenant Murphy, who had been following engineering for some 
 years before the war, saw some strong point in this mound (which 
 I did not), and urged me to fortify it. At length he persuaded me 
 to let him have four boat guns to place on the top of it. " It would 
 be," he said, "a point tfappui for Sherman s troops to assemble 
 about in case they were attacked ! " 
 
 "Where are the attacking forces to come from ?" I inquired. 
 
 " Can t tell, sir," said Murphy, "but I think it a strong point." 
 
 " Go ahead, then, and fortify it," I replied ; " it will keep you 
 employed. " 
 
 We had arrived nearly at the head of the pass, or bayou, to what 
 was called the Rolling Fork, and, after all our toil and trouble, 
 did hope to see the road clear to Vicksburg in the rear. 
 
 There was a small collection of houses at the point where we 
 had stopped, and all the contrabands in the country were assembled 
 there. The tree-cutters had disappeared and liberated from duty 
 all those who had been pressed into service, but took all the axes 
 away with them. The negroes were jubilant over being able to 
 join "Mass* Linkum s gun-boats." 
 
 We could readily have dispensed with their services. They 
 were only an encumbrance to us. They could give us no informa 
 tion. They had never been taught to think or know anything but 
 to hoe and pick cotton. That s all they were wanted for. 
 
 We had steamed, or rather bumped, seventy-five miles, and had 
 only six hundred yards to go before getting into the Rolling Fork, 
 where all would be plain sailing ; but I waited for all the vessels to 
 come up to repair damages, and start together. 
 
IRONCLADS STUCK FAST AMONG WILLOWS. 159 
 
 I noticed right at the head of the pass a large green patch ex 
 tending all the way across. It looked like the green scum on 
 ponds. 
 
 " What is that ?" I asked of one of the truthful contrabands. 
 
 "It s nuffin but willers, sab," he replied. "When de water s 
 out ob de bayou which it mos allers is den we cuts de willers to 
 make baskits wid. You kin go troo dat like a eel." 
 
 I thought I would try it while the vessels were "coming into 
 port." I sent the tug on ahead with the mortar-boat, and followed 
 on after. 
 
 The tug went into it about thirty yards, began to go slower and 
 slower, and finally stuck so fast that she could move neither ahead 
 nor astern. I hailed her and told them that I would come along 
 and push them through. We started with a full head of steam, 
 and did not even reach the tug. The little withes caught in the 
 rough iron ends of the overhang and held us as if in a vise. I tried 
 to back out, but twas no use. We could not move an inch, no 
 matter how much steam we put on. Ah, I thought, this is only a 
 temporary delay. 
 
 We got large hooks out and led the hook-ropes aft, and tried 
 to break off the lithe twigs, but it was no use ; we could not move. 
 "We got saws, knives, cutlasses, and chisels over the side, with the 
 men handling them sitting on planks, and cut them off, steamed 
 ahead, and only moved three feet. Other withes sprang up from 
 under the water and took a fresher grip on us, so we were worse off 
 than ever. 
 
 Just as well, I thought, that Murphy seized upon that mound. 
 It will be three or four days before we can get through here. He 
 can hold it as a look-out, and if any sharp-shooters should appear 
 he can fire on them. 
 
 Just then a rebel steamer was reported coming up the Rolling 
 Fork and landing about four miles below. We will catch that 
 fellow after dark, I thought. He has come up here after stores. 
 
 This was the Vicksburg granary full of everything in the way 
 of grain, cattle, and poultry. " Hog and hominy " was abundant. 
 
 I went at it again, and worked hard for over four hours, but 
 not one foot did I gain with that ironclad. I wished ironclads were 
 in Jericho. 
 
 While I was pondering what to do, and the negroes were look 
 ing on in admiration upon the ingenious devices we put into play 
 to get rid of those willow fastenings, wondering to myself if the 
 
160 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Confederacy had planted these willows on purpose to keep me out 
 of the Sunflower Kiver, I heard the faint reports of two guns, and 
 directly after the shrill shriek of rifle-shot, which came from direc 
 tions at right angles to each other. The shells burst over the 
 Indian mound where Lieutenant Murphy was studying the strategy 
 of war. They were Whitworth shells. I knew the sound too well 
 to be mistaken. I had heard them before. There were two six- 
 gun batteries with a cross-fire upon us. 
 
 "Now s your chance, Murphy," said I to myself, "to show 
 some good practice. You did well in selecting that mound." 
 
 I forgot for a moment that we had only four twelve-pounder 
 smooth-bores there, with a range of about twelve hundred yards. 
 
 The two field batteries were keeping up a rapid fire, and fifteen 
 shells a minute were coming from the enemy s spitfires and burst 
 ing in all directions, throwing the pieces of iron and the bullets of 
 the shrapnel down on the decks of the ironclads, where they rattled 
 like hail. 
 
 Here was a dilemma. We could not use our large guns ; they 
 were away below the banks, and lying so close to it that we could 
 not get elevation enough to fire over. 
 
 Suddenly I saw the sides of the mound crowded with officers 
 and men. They were tumbling down as best they could ; the guns 
 were tumbled down ahead of them ; there was a regular stampede. 
 Murphy hadn t found the top of the mound a fine strategic point, 
 and that was the reason why the Confederates had not adopted it. 
 
 The fire from the enemy s Whitworths was incessant, and 
 every one was running to cover. 
 
 As the retreaters passed me I shouted to them to stop. The 
 majority obeyed, but a number kept on. They had left their guns 
 on the road. 
 
 I made those who stopped bring the guns alongside my vessel. 
 "You shall have them no more," I said ; "you don t know how to 
 take care of them." 
 
 The shells from the enemy came so rapidly that it became an 
 noying, so I ordered the mortars manned, measured the distance 
 by the sound 2,800 yards on one range, and 2,600 on the other 
 and opened fire. 
 
 The shells seemed to be well timed ; they fell in the midst of 
 the artillerists, and the two batteries ceased by mutual consent, 
 while we not only kept up the fire there, but all through the woods 
 where these parties were located. 
 
MR. TUB, THE TELEGRAM-WIRE. 161 
 
 This little diversion being over, I set to work again to overcome 
 the willows. 
 
 "What a dodge this was of the Confederacy," I said to the 
 captain, "to plant these willows instead of a fort ! We can take 
 their forts, but we can t, I fear, take their willows." 
 
 I stepped out to the bank (where the negroes had assembled 
 again as soon as the shooting was over) to see if I could learn any 
 thing about willows from these innocent people. 
 
 All I could find out from them was that " dey was mo tougher n 
 ropes." 
 
 "Why don t Sherman come on ?" I said aloud to myself. "I d 
 give ten dollars to get a telegram to him." 
 
 " I m a telegram -wire, Massa," said a stubby-looking negro, com 
 ing up to me. " I ll take him for half a dollar, sah ; I m de county 
 telegraph, sah. I does all dat bizness." 
 
 " Where s your office, Sambo ?" I inquired. 
 
 "My name ain t Sambo, sah. My name s Tub, an I run yer 
 line fer yer fer half a dollar." 
 
 " Do you know where to find General Sherman ?" I said. 
 
 " No, sah, I don know him. Ef he s in Vicksburg, I kin find him." 
 
 " Can you carry a note for me without betraying it to the Con 
 federates ? " 
 
 " I don t understan one of dem words, sah, but I ll take a note 
 to Kingdom Kum if yer pay me half a dollar." 
 
 Then I told him who General Sherman was and where to find 
 him. " Go along the road," I said, " and you can t miss him." 
 
 " I know nuff better an dat manner when I carry telegraph, 
 sah. I don t go de road ; I takes de ditches. It s nuif shorter an* 
 ino safer. On de lef han comin up dars all marsh an wata, an 
 a kenoe kin allers git long dar. I ll go de way we nigs takes when 
 we go chicken huntin ." 
 
 "Where will you carry the dispatch ? " I inquired. 
 
 " In my calabash-kiver, Massa," he answered, pointing to his 
 thick, woolly head. 
 
 I wrote the dispatch and handed it to him. He stowed it away 
 in a pocket in his hair, where it was as safe as a telegram traveling 
 on a wire. I wrote : 
 
 " DEAR SHERMAN : Hurry up, for Heaven s sake. I never knew 
 how helpless an ironclad could be steaming around through the 
 
 woods without an army to back her." 
 11 
 
162 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I had no sooner got off the telegraph (as he called himself) than 
 another steamer was reported as landing at the same place as the 
 one which brought up the artillery. 
 
 Upon examining her with the glass, it could be seen that she 
 was full of troops. Those fellows would not have landed there if 
 they had not known that we were blockaded. 
 
 The stream, for some reason, began to run rapidly, and large 
 logs began to come in from the Eolling Fork and pile up on the out 
 side of the willows, making an effectual barricade. It was the 
 water rushing down through the cut-off and creeks from the open 
 ing into the " Old Yazoo Pass "of the Mississippi Eiver. What 
 was doing good to those fellows was bad for us. I wondered if they 
 had found the Confederacy as smart as we had. I had no doubt 
 of it. 
 
 Just then the two rifle batteries of the enemy opened again 
 viciously from other positions, and it was reported to me that two 
 thousand men had landed and were marching to get into our rear. 
 Pleasant, that ! 
 
 I had sent the rear tug back to see if anything could be heard 
 of General Sherman coming on. It returned with the information 
 that ten miles in our rear the enemy were cutting down the largest 
 trees across the pass, that eight had been felled within a short dis 
 tance of each other, and the channel behind us was effectually 
 blocked. I did not mind this so much, as I knew that Sherman 
 was not far off. 
 
 I found another telegraph man among the negroes, and sent 
 him off to Sherman. He pursued the same method as his prede 
 cessor, but was captured by the enemy. 
 
 We kept our mortars hard at work, but the artillery shifted 
 position every three minutes, and were sending among us about 
 twenty shells a minute. The men had to keep between decks. 
 
 We were in the narrowest part of the pass ; it was the same 
 width as the ironclads. We fitted in nicely too nicely ! 
 
 The Confederates had completely checkmated us. Every knight 
 and pawn and castle was in check, and my vessel, the Cincinnati, 
 was checkmated by the willows ! 
 
 There was nothing easier than for two thousand men to charge 
 on us from the bank and carry us by boarding. Only the enemy 
 didn t know the fix we were in. They didn t know how it was that 
 we could fire those thirteen-inch shell, that would burst now and 
 then at the root of a great tree and throw it into the air. They 
 
A DOSE OF NINE-INCH SHRAPNEL. 163 
 
 didn t know that we had only four smooth-bore howitzers free to 
 work, that our heavy guns were useless, below the bank. So much 
 for their not being properly posted. But I was quite satisfied that 
 they would know all this before Sherman came up. 
 
 We drove the artillery away about four o clock in the afternoon. 
 Then I sent a hawser to the tug, and another to the ironclad astern 
 of me, while the latter made fast to another ironclad. Then we all 
 backed together and, after an hour s hard pull, we slipped off the 
 willows into soft water. Laus Deo ! 
 
 Then went forth the orders to unship the rudders and let the 
 vessels drift down stern foremost, and away we all went together 
 with a four-knot current taking us bumping badly down at the 
 rate of two miles an hour which was twice as fast as we came up. 
 The enemy did not discover our retreat for some minutes, but 
 when they did they made a rush for the Indian mound and took 
 possession of it. 
 
 After all, Murphy was right ; it was a strategic point ! But only 
 with the Whitworth rifles, not with smooth-bores. 
 
 I suppose we passed that fort twenty times in following the 
 crooked pass, and the enemy were pouring it into us all the time, 
 but they didn t do much harm. 
 
 They were evidently greenhorns, and failed to understand that 
 we were iron-clad and didn t mind bursting shell. If they had fired 
 solid shot, they might have hurt us. 
 
 I cared very much more about that infantry than I did about 
 the artillery. As our bow guns were bearing astern now and up 
 the bayou, we could each of us give the enemy now and then, at 
 the turns, a dose of nine-inch shrapnel, giving the same attention 
 to their infantry, which we could see were marching in the direc 
 tion we were pursuing. But our broadside guns were useless. 
 
 The artillery kept up their fire for about two hours, and then I 
 think they began to find out that our bow guns were bearing and 
 doing them some injury. 
 
 At dark we tied up at a point where we had about four feet of 
 water between us and the bank, greased the ironsides, and, elevat 
 ing the lower-deck guns after loading them with grape, we made 
 the best of our position. I landed five hundred men with howitzers 
 after dark, and placed them in position to enfilade any attacking 
 party. Scouts were also thrown out to see if some of the enemy 
 could be picked up, and the remainder of the crews slept on their 
 arms at quarters. So passed the night ; but Sherman s whereabouts 
 
164: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 were a continual source of conjecture to me. I was quite sure the 
 Confederates had not captured him. 
 
 About ten o clock my scouts brought in four prisoners two 
 officers and two sergeants and conducted them, at my direction, 
 into the cabin. 
 
 The commanding officer was quite a youngster, and when 
 brought in was as stiff as a poker. 
 
 He walked up to me and, presenting his sword, said, "There, 
 sir, you will likely recognize that ; it is the sword of one of your 
 officers who skedaddled off that Indian mound. We picked up 
 two of them, and captured caps and shoes enough to fit out a 
 regiment. Why, your fellows left a lot of ammunition behind 
 them." 
 
 "Yes," I said, "but you look tired ; won t you sit down and 
 take some supper with me ? I have a cold supper and wine on the 
 table." 
 
 "I don t care if I do," he answered, "and I have the less com 
 punction in taking it as it belongs to us anyhow. In two hours 
 you will be surrounded and bagged. You can t escape. How in 
 the devil s name you ever got here is a wonder to me." 
 
 "I should like nothing better," I said, "than for your friends 
 to try that kind of business ; they would learn something. But sit 
 down, gentlemen, and eat." 
 
 They did sit down, and ate with an appetite I never saw equaled. 
 
 "We have had nothing to eat or drink since noon," said the 
 youngster ; " we could eat our grandmothers and drink up Niagara 
 Falls." 
 
 "Drink some wine," I said, and I shoved over the sherry to 
 them. Their throats were dry as powder-horns. "Help your 
 selves," I said ; " don t stand on ceremony. You know it will all 
 be yours when you surround us, and you had better get your share 
 before the other fellows arrive." 
 
 " Won t you drink with us ? " asked the youngster. 
 
 "Yes," I said, "with pleasure. Tell me how Colonel Higgins 
 is." 
 
 "He s here," replied the youngster, "and came along on pur 
 pose to catch you. He says he d give ten thousand dollars to do 
 that." 
 
 "Here s his health," I said, and they all drank bumpers to Hig 
 gins. 
 
 "I can t drink with you any more now. I have to look out 
 
CONFEDERATE PRISONERS LIVELY AND LOQUACIOUS. 165 
 
 for these vessels ; but, as you are prisoners, and have no respon 
 sibility, you may empty the bottle if you like, and there are the 
 cigars." 
 
 "You re a trump, and no mistake!" said the youngster; "I 
 would like to capture you myself. " 
 
 "Well, I promise you that if I surrender to any one it will be 
 to you." 
 
 The quartette drank until they became very lively and loqua 
 cious, and boastful of what they were going to do. 
 
 " How far off are your troops ? " I inquired. 
 
 " About four miles," the leader answered. " They will bag you 
 at daylight." 
 
 "That, "said I, "is about a good distance. Sherman will be 
 on them about three o clock, and capture the whole of them. " 
 
 " Sherman ! " he exclaimed ; " what has he to do with it ? " 
 
 "Only," said I, "that he is at this moment surrounding your 
 troops with ten thousand men." 
 
 "Holy Moses!" he cried, "we re sold. We didn t know any 
 thing about any troops. We thought it was something like that 
 Yazoo River affair a gun-boat excursion, and we liked to have 
 bagged them. They re wandering around in the ditches yet." 
 
 Having obtained all the information I desired, I went on deck, 
 put a sentry over the cabin-door, had the stern-ports closed, and 
 gave orders to call me at two o clock. 
 
 Then the shore parties were called on board, and we went on 
 the lack track for three miles. We either threw the enemy off the 
 scent, or the captured officer deceived me about the contemplated 
 attack. We heard nothing of them, and determined to go on down 
 again. 
 
 At the first start the leading vessel sunk the coal-barge, and there 
 we were blocked and unable to move. It took hours to remove the 
 coal and spread it out on the bottom. 
 
 In the midst of the work we were attacked by the enemy s artil 
 lery in the rear. 
 
 I was in the rear ironclad bows up stream ; we steamed up after 
 the artillery, got within range, and with the bow guns scattered them 
 like chaff. One of their guns was knocked over, and some of their 
 men and cattle were hurt, but they were getting less timid and were 
 gradually closing around the ironclads. 
 
 The stream cleared of the coal, we bumped along, stern fore 
 most, down stream, knocking down dead branches from the trees 
 
166 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 upon our decks, with the usual accompaniment of vermin, until we 
 thought the limit of ill-luck had been reached by the vessels ; but 
 we looked worse before we got through. 
 
 Sharp-shooters made their appearance in the morning. About 
 sixty of them surrounded us. First it was like an occasional drop 
 of rain. Then it was pat, pal against the iron hull all the time. 
 The smoke-stacks seemed to be favorite marks to fire at. They no 
 doubt took it for the captain, or the great motive power which kept 
 us a-going. 
 
 The sharp-shooters were not, as a rule, the brightest I have seen, 
 but then they had bomb-shells falling among them, and now and 
 then a tree, behind which they were, would suddenly be lifted out 
 of the ground or canted sideways. The bomb-shells were demoral 
 izing. 
 
 I adopted a new plan. I turned all the guns into mortars by 
 firing them at the greatest elevation (to clear the banks), and with 
 very low charges. With short time-fuses and a range of about six 
 hundred yards this had a good effect, and the sharp-shooters kept 
 a long way off. 
 
 The smoke-stacks still attracted considerable attention from 
 them, though it was true they had wounded some of our people. 
 
 Suddenly the Louisville, Captain Owen, brought up all stand 
 ing. There were eight large trees cut down ahead of us four from 
 either bank, and they seemed to be so interlaced that it was appar 
 ently impossible to remove them. 
 
 I sent out two hundred riflemen, and found that they were quite 
 equal to the enemy. They drove them to a safe distance with the 
 aid of the mortar fire. We had been firing heavily, great guns and 
 mortars, for two days and nights, and thought Sherman must have 
 heard us and been worried about us, but he had his troubles in get 
 ting along as well as others. He was doing his best to come to our 
 assistance. It may seem ridiculous for ironclads to be wanting as 
 sistance from an army, but without that army they would likely 
 have been in an ugly scrape. Its proximity alone, without its im 
 mediate aid, made us perfectly at ease. 
 
 Under fire from the sharp-shooters we removed the eight trees 
 in three hours, and started to push on, when we found those devils 
 had sunk two large trees across the bayou under water, and pinned 
 them down. 
 
 Another hour was spent in getting them up, and under renewed 
 sharp-shooting. Every one was kept under cover except those it 
 
THE REBELS RUNNING FOUL OF SHERMAN S ARMY. 167 
 
 was absolutely necessary to expose. The captains and myself had to 
 be on deck. 
 
 We had no sooner got rid of these obstructions than we saw a 
 large column of gray-uniformed soldiers swooping down on us from 
 the woods. 
 
 We opened mortar fire on them. They didn t mind it. On they 
 came. They were no doubt determined to overwhelm us by num 
 bers, and close us in. Their artillery was coming on with them. 
 Now would come the tug of war. We were jammed up against the 
 bank, and the stream was so narrow where we were we could not 
 increase our distance from it. Their sharp-shooters had now taken 
 up positions behind trees about one hundred yards from us, and our 
 men were firing rapidly at them as they opened on us. 
 
 We had picked up a few cotton-bales along the road to make 
 defenses, and good ones they were. 
 
 The sharp-shooters were becoming very troublesome about this 
 time, when suddenly I saw the advancing column begin to fall into 
 confusion ; then they jumped behind trees, or fell into groups, and 
 kept up a rapid fire of musketry. It looked as if they were fighting 
 among themselves. But no ! they were retreating before some one. 
 They had run foul of Sherman s army, which was steadily driving 
 them back. 
 
 The enemy were much surprised at encountering such a force. 
 They never dreamed of meeting an army of five or six thousand 
 men. I believe there were more. 
 
 I made signal to beat the retreat. We would have no more 
 trouble now. But, just as I had given the order, half a dozen rifle 
 bullets came on board, and one of them struck the first lieutenant, 
 Mr. Wells, in the head while I was talking to him and giving him 
 an order. 
 
 He fell, apparently dead, at my feet. I called an officer to 
 remove him, and lie fell dead, as I supposed, on the other s 
 body. 
 
 Then an old quartermaster came, dragging a large quarter-inch 
 iron plate along the deck, and stuck it up against a hog post. 
 "There, sir," he said, "stand behind that; they ve fired at you 
 long enough," and I was wise enough to take the old fellow s ad 
 vice. Poor old man ! he was shot in the hand as he turned to get 
 behind his cotton -bale. 
 
 But that was about the last of it. In the course of half an hour 
 Colonel Smith, of the 8th Missouri, rode up and told me his troops 
 
168 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 were in pursuit of the enemy, who were in full retreat, and that we 
 should hear no more of them. Again, Laus Deo ! 
 
 They were a perplexing set of fellows, these rebels, and showed 
 a great amount of courage, considering the prestige of "Mas Lin- 
 kum s gun-boats"; but then, it must be remembered, they had 
 caught the ironclads in a ditch in the woods. They could hardly 
 be said to be afloat. 
 
 The Confederates never dreamed of finding us where they did, 
 or they would have come provided with torpedoes, and left us all 
 imbedded in the mud of Black Bayou, where in future ages me 
 mentos of us would be found, and as much be known of us as was 
 known of the Indian mound which we did not find such a fine 
 strategic point. 
 
 But the rebs missed their opportunity, though they rather had 
 the laugh on us. We had the satisfaction of knowing, however, 
 that none of us had lost our heads, though at one time matters 
 looked rather embarrassing. 
 
 I didn t notice a single officer on that expedition who, though 
 exposed almost at all times to an unpleasant fire from sharp-shoot 
 ers, showed the least desire to avoid being shot, except when they 
 hurried down so rapidly from the top of the Indian mound ! 
 
 I am happy to say that the two officers, who fell at my feet ap 
 parently dead, both recovered. Theirs were only scalp wounds, 
 owing to the enemy s bad powder. They were both volunteers, and 
 did good service all through the Rebellion. 
 
 " Old Tecumseh " came riding up, about half an hour after the 
 last mishaps, on the old horse he had captured. He had received 
 my county telegraph man, who explained to him pretty well how 
 we were situated, and he had pushed on at night, by the aid of 
 pine torches, through swamps and canebrakes, having undertaken 
 a short cut recommended by the telegraph "operator," Mr. Tub, 
 and found the traveling almost as bad as that experienced by the 
 gun-boats. 
 
 "Halloo, Porter," said the general when he saw me, "what did 
 you get into such an ugly scrape for ? So much for you navy fel 
 lows getting out of your element ; better send for the soldiers al 
 ways. My boys will put you through. Here s your little nigger ; 
 he came through all right, and I started at once. I had a hard 
 time getting my troops over ; some of them marched over from the 
 
 This is the most infernal expedition I was ever on ; who in 
 
"ONE OF THE EPISODES OF WAR." 169 
 
 thunder proposed such a mad scheme ? But I m all ready to^go on 
 with you again. Your gun-boats are enough to scare the crows ; 
 they look as if you had got a terrible hammering. However, I ll 
 start at once, and go back with you ; my boys will clean those fel 
 lows out." 
 
 " Thank you, no," I said, "I have had enough of this adventure. 
 It is too late now ; the enemy are forewarned, and all the energies 
 of the Confederacy will be put forth to stop us ; they will fill all the 
 rivers with torpedoes, and every hill will be turned into a heavy fort. 
 They have the laugh on us this time, but we must put this down 
 in the log-book as One of the Episodes of the War. We will take 
 Vicksburg yet, when it is more worth taking." 
 
 "You are satisfied, then," said Sherman, "with what my boys 
 have done for you and can do ? " 
 
 "Yes, perfectly so," I answered, "and I never knew what help 
 less things ironclads could become when they got in a ditch and 
 had no soldiers about. Won t you come aboard ? " 
 
 "No," said he, " I must call in my men ; they could not catch 
 those fellows if they chased them a week. Good-morning," and 
 "Old Tecumseh" rode off on his ancient horse, with a rope bridle, 
 accompanied only by one or two aids. 
 
 After Sherman had departed I went down into the cabin to see 
 my prisoners. The cabin was dark, and they were sitting there very 
 quiet. 
 
 "Well," I said to the young officer, "they have got us at last ; 
 we are surrounded." 
 
 "I knew they would bag you in the end," he replied ; "I felt 
 that I was not going to be a prisoner yet. Well, sir, I will see that 
 you are treated handsomely when you surrender." 
 
 "Surrender to whom?" I said. "What are you talking 
 about ? " 
 
 "Didn t you say you were surrounded?" asked the perplexed 
 youth. 
 
 "Yes, I did," I replied, "but by Sherman s boys, and your fel 
 lows are skedaddling off as fast as they can go." 
 
 " But not faster," he retorted, " than your fellows did down that 
 Indian mound ! But I m sorry not to be able to take you to Vicks 
 burg ; they d treat you kindly there." With that he lay down and 
 went to sleep. 
 
 The game was up, and we bumped on homeward. The current 
 was running very rapidly now, and the vessels were so helpless, 
 
170 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 dropping down stern foremost, that we could not protect them in 
 any way. There was no knowing what part of them would strike 
 the trees, or when huge dead branches would fall upon the decks. 
 Every one remained between decks except those who were absolutely 
 required above. There was still a chance of the enemy playing us 
 a bad trick by blocking the head of the pass at Rolling Fork ; there 
 was plenty of cotton along the road to do it with, if they only should 
 think of it. Twelve hundred bales of cotton would turn the water 
 off from our bayou, and in an hour after we would be on the bot 
 tom. With these unpleasant possibilities before me, I continued 
 on homeward, and protracted my run until eight o clock that night, 
 when I came up with the main body of Sherman s army, which was 
 encamped along on the road near the edge of the pass. 
 
 Encamped ! I say. They had no tents, but a plentiful supply 
 of fence-rails and bonfires of pine-knots. The whole route for miles 
 was all in a blaze. 
 
 It was great fun for the soldiers to see our dilapidated condition. 
 "Halloo, Jack," one fellow would sing out, " how do you like play 
 ing mud-turtle ? Better stick to the briny." 
 
 Another would say, " You ve been into dry dock, ain t you, and 
 left your boats behind ? " 
 
 "Don t go bushwhacking again, Jack," said another, "unless 
 you have Sherman s boys close aboard of you ; you look as if your 
 mothers didn t know you were out." 
 
 " Where s all your sails and masts, Jack ?" said a tough-looking 
 fellow who was sailor all over, though he had a soldier s uniform 
 bent. 
 
 "By the Widow Perkins," cried another, " if Johnny Eeb hasn t 
 taken their rudders away and sent them adrift ! " 
 
 "Dry up," sang out an old forecastleman, "we wa n t half as 
 much used up as you was at Chickasaw Bayou ! " for which the old 
 tar got three cheers. And so we ran the gauntlet until we reached 
 the middle of the line. 
 
 "Where s General Sherman ?" I inquired of some of the men. 
 
 "He s in his tent, sir, waiting supper for you," answered one of 
 them. 
 
 Sherman s tent ! As if he would have a tent when his soldiers 
 were lying about on fence-rails. 
 
 But I came to his tent at last ; and, reader, I wish you could 
 have seen it : it was three fence-rails set up in a triangle, but with 
 only a small fly over the apex. It was raining hard at the time, and 
 
GENERAL SHERMAN S BAGGAGE. 
 
 Sherman was standing leaning against one of the rails, while a large 
 bonfire was blazing brightly before his " tent " ! " You go on," he 
 said; "I ll follow you to-morrow." We passed the compliments, 
 and I ran on down past the lines and tied up, having run the gaunt 
 let of jokes that were showered on us by the soldiers. 
 
 As we were getting made fast to the bank a canoe with two sol 
 diers in it tried to squeeze past us, but got stuck between us and the 
 bank. They had a large pile of something in the bottom of the 
 canoe covered over with a tarpaulin. 
 
 " What have you got in those bags ? " I asked. 
 
 " General Sherman s baggage, sir," said one ; " we ve just 
 brought it up from a transport." 
 
 " General Sherman s baggage ! " I said ; "how long has it been 
 since he took to carrying baggage ? Let me see what you ve got 
 there." 
 
 "Only baggage, Admiral, I assure you," said the speaker, "ex 
 cept some turkeys we picked up for you on the road up here," and 
 he uncovered and displayed a pile of picked turkeys, geese, chickens, 
 and sucking pigs. 
 
 "Where s the baggage ? " I asked. 
 
 " Why, sir," said the man, " there was so much of it, it s coming 
 up on a tug a large carpet-bag of it, sir," and he handed up one 
 of each. 
 
 The steward came, and took a turkey. "Pass General Sher 
 man s baggage," I said to the captain, and the sailors, taking hold 
 of the painter, pulled the canoe through. 
 
 Sherman had a hard set of boys on foraging, and they enjoyed 
 this trip up the bayou, where they were in the very midst of the 
 enemy s granary, and the people of Vicksburg no doubt sighed when 
 the Yankees had found their way to the flesh-pots of the South. 
 Most of them went without turkey, chicken, goose, or pig for many 
 a day thereafter. 
 
 There is not much more to be said about the Steele Bayou ex 
 pedition; it didn t amount to much in effecting changes in the 
 condition of Vicksburg, but we gained a lot of experience which 
 would serve us in the future. We might, perhaps, have passed the 
 willows if we had waited for the army, and got the soldiers to pull 
 us through with ropes stretched along the bank ; but to have de 
 layed pushing astern would nave insured the cutting down of five 
 hundred trees by the enemy, and given them time to send to Vicks 
 burg for torpedoes and have them planted all along that ditch. 
 
172 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I never saw a copy of the telegram Pemberton sent to Eichmond, 
 but I imagine it was as follows : 
 
 "The enemy made an excursion into our overflowed country 
 and pirouetted around exceedingly. They buttered no parsnips. 
 Nature fought for us, as it always does for the Confederacy. The 
 elements even helped us. The trees fought for us against the in 
 vaders of our soil, and the huge limbs fell down upon the enemy s 
 decks and demolished them. The vermin swarmed over them, and 
 they returned looking like picked chickens. 
 
 "They will never try it again. Vicksburg is safer than ever, 
 and can never fall while hog and hominy last. 
 
 "We spit on their grandfathers graves." 
 
 I am quite satisfied that no one who went on that party desired 
 to try it again. It was the hardest cruise that any Jack Tar ever 
 made, and we all determined to cultivate the army more than we 
 had done, in case we should go on a horse-marine excursion. 
 
 It was with the greatest delight that we got out of that ditch 
 and into the open woods again, with plenty of " sea room " and no 
 lee shores. We took our time, went squirrel-hunting in the few 
 boats we had left, and got a fine mess of turkey-buzzards out of 
 the old oaks which surrounded us. 
 
 In ten days more we anchored again in the mouth of the Yazoo 
 Eiver and commenced to repair damages. 
 
 I always carried a large steamer along with the squadron fitted 
 as a carpenter s shop. She had a good supply of mechanics on 
 board, with all that was necessary to repair a vessel after an action. 
 
 In a week we we re all built up again, were supplied with new 
 boats from the store-ship, and, with our new coats of paint, no one 
 would have supposed we had ever been away from a dock-yard. 
 
 Some of the officers were talking of going again, and of the 
 pleasure of the trip, as people who have gone in search of the North 
 Pole, and have fared dreadfully, wish to try it once more. 
 
 This was one of the many expedients adopted to bring about the 
 reduction of Vicksburg, and, of all of them, never one more hazard 
 ous or more laborious. The whole siege was a series of patient 
 labors, more wearing than active excitement in the field ; and while 
 the enemy, on the one hand, displayed the greatest endurance and 
 determination, we, on the other, exhibited the greatest patience 
 under many disappointments. 
 
 As President Lincoln truly remarked, " Vicksburg was the back 
 bone of the Rebellion and the key to the situation." And, as I said, 
 
FALSE REPORTS OF GENERAL GRANT S ACTIONS. 173 
 
 to bring about what we wanted was the best general, a large army 
 and naval force, and patience. 
 
 Yet on no occasion during the war did the Government and peo 
 ple of the North display so much impatience as they did about this 
 siege. While General Grant was working with that imperturbable 
 determination which distinguished him to try and get into the rear 
 of the place, and his trusted generals were always ready to forward 
 his views (as were myself and all my officers), some implacable foe, 
 with a corps of reporters " at his beck and call," was inundating 
 the country with false accounts of Grant s actions, which had no 
 foundation whatever. They were the creation of a malignant brain, 
 and were circulated from personal motives. 
 
 The worst of it was, the Government was partly influenced by 
 the same spirit, and, had it not been that President Lincoln was 
 governed by feelings of justice, disaster might have befallen the 
 Union. 
 
 No ordinary general could have taken Vicksburg at all ; it re 
 quired a man full of military ability and knowledge, and one who 
 knew whom to select from all the able men of the army those who 
 were best qualified to undertake the many vexatious problems that 
 would arise during so important and difficult a siege. 
 
 Some men would have given it up and said that it was not worth 
 the loss of time and the* waste of human life which would ensue ; 
 some would have demanded half the resources of the Union ; but 
 Grant never wavered in his determination, or in his hopes of suc 
 cess. 
 
 He had a smaller force than the enemy, who, knowing the im 
 portance of the place, kept a garrison of forty thousand or more 
 men inside the walls and forty thousand more just outside, under 
 those they considered their ablest generals. 
 
 When General Grant had tried every rational expedient, he re 
 sorted to the last and only true one, which not one general in a 
 thousand would have approved, and which he followed in opposi 
 tion to the opinions of a majority of his commanders. 
 
 When I look back, after the lapse of nearly a quarter of a cen 
 tury, and remember the libels I used to read in Republican papers 
 against the men who were doing all they could to take Vicksburg, 
 I lose all patience with them. Fortunately, newspaper writers are 
 not always exponents of public opinion, and the sensational arti 
 cles, written on the scene of action to please the morbid taste of the 
 public, did not have the anticipated effect, any more than the im- 
 
INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 placable misrepresentations made by a vindictive foe of all promi 
 nent officers had upon the President, when made to him personally. 
 
 Nearly all the clever young officers who went on that expedition 
 with me are dead and gone. One I know of is broken down and 
 on the retired list. Such is the insatiable greed of the great mael 
 strom war. 
 
 All are swallowed up who are not made of iron and steel. 
 
 Old Tecumseh and myself hold on, two tough old knots, with a 
 good deal of the steel in us yet, and quite enough vitality to lay 
 out any number of those who pride themselves upon what they 
 can do. 
 
 We can sit down and write out our reminiscences for the benefit 
 of the young men who are coming along, and perhaps they may 
 learn something from our experience. 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 A COUNCIL OF WAR PASSAGE OF THE FLEET BY THE BATTERIES 
 OF VICKSBURG GENERAL SHERMAN VISITS THE FLEET IN ITS 
 PASSAGE WOODEN GUNS ON CART-WHEELS A HANDFUL OF 
 CORN AND A DEAD CONFEDERATE SOLDIER. 
 
 I GAVE General Grant a faithful account of our reconnoissance, 
 and he was satisfied that he could not carry on military operations 
 against Vicksburg in the way we had attempted. 
 
 "I will go below Vicksburg," he said, "and cross over if I can 
 depend on you for a sufficient naval force. I will prepare some 
 transports by packing them well with cotton-bales, and we ll start 
 as soon as you are ready." 
 
 "I will be ready to-morrow night," I replied, "and in the 
 mean time will lay in a full supply of provisions and ammunition, 
 and prepare coal-barges to take along." 
 
 General Grant called a council of war that afternoon on board 
 my flag-ship the Black Hawk and, after informing the generals 
 what he proposed to do, asked their opinions. 
 
 General McClernand did not attend the council, but wrote to 
 Grant approving the plan. I think General Sherman was present, 
 but did not favor the plan, as it would take the army a long dis- 
 
THE FLEET PASSES THE BATTERIES OF VICKSBURG. 175 
 
 tance from its base of supplies, and for other good reasons which 
 Grant considered it necessary to set aside on the present occasion. 
 
 All the other generals present at the council strongly objected to 
 Grant s plan. He listened patiently and, when they had finished, 
 remarked, " I have considered your arguments, but continue in the 
 same opinion. You will be ready to move at ten o clock to-morrow 
 morning. General McClernand will take the advance ; General 
 Sherman will remain here with his division and, if possible, make 
 an attack on Haines s Bluff in conjunction with such of the gun 
 boats as the admiral may not want with him below." So ended the 
 council. 
 
 Everything connected with this movement of General Grant s 
 had been conducted with as much secrecy as possible, yet I believe 
 the intended change of base was known in Vicksburg almost as 
 soon as it was in the Union army. The Confederates had unknown 
 means of finding out what was going on, though we certainly sup 
 posed they would know nothing of the intended movement of the 
 gun-boats. 
 
 As night approached, all on board the gun-boats were in a state 
 of pleasurable excitement at the prospect of getting away from the 
 Yazoo River. 
 
 At the appointed hour we started down the Mississippi as quiet 
 ly as possible, drifting with the current. Dogs and crowing hens 
 were left behind, and every precaution taken to prevent the enemy 
 from becoming aware of our design. 
 
 We knew they were to have a grand ball that night in Vicks 
 burg, and thought the "sounds of revelry" would favor us in get 
 ting the transports past the batteries. All of these vessels had been 
 protected with cotton-bales, and, under the management of their 
 brave and experienced pilots, followed along in line. 
 
 I was in advance, in the Benton, and as I looked back at the 
 long line I could compare them only to so many phantom vessels. 
 Not a light was to be seen nor a sound heard throughout the fleet. 
 
 "We approached the bend in the river where the frowning heights 
 were covered with heavy batteries. 
 
 " We will, no doubt, slip by unnoticed," I remarked to the cap 
 tain of the Benton ; "the rebels seem to keep a very poor watch." 
 
 Just then a bright light along the levee illuminated everything, 
 showing the city and forts as plainly as if it were daylight. 
 
 " The town is on fire ! " exclaimed the captain. On the opposite 
 side of the river was a large railroad station with outbuildings, and 
 
176 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 as soon as the first fire broke out, these also burst into flames. The 
 tipper fort opened its heavy guns upon the Benton, the shot rat 
 tling against her sides like hail, but she had four inches of iron 
 plating over forty inches of oak, so that not much impression was 
 made upon her hull. There being no longer any concealment pos 
 sible, we stood to our guns and returned the enemy s fire. 
 
 Every fort and hill-top vomited forth shot and shell, many of 
 the latter bursting in the air and doing no damage, but adding to 
 the grandeur of the scene. As fast as our vessels came within 
 range of the forts they opened their broadsides, and soon put a stop 
 to any revelry that might be going on in Vicksburg. 
 
 The enemy s shells set fire to the transport Henry Clay, and she 
 was soon in a blaze, adding her light to that of the tar-barrels kept 
 by the enemy in readiness for the occasion, for we had not surprised 
 them in the least by our movement to run the gauntlet. 
 
 The courageous pilot of the Henry Clay stood at his post and, 
 with his vessel all ablaze, attempted to run past the fleet. 
 
 When a man is in trouble the world is generally down on him, 
 and so it was with the Henry Clay ; the enemy found her a good 
 target, and showered all their attention on her. 
 
 The blazing cotton-bales were knocked overboard by the rebel 
 shot, and the river was covered with bits of burning cotton, looking 
 like a thousand lamps. 
 
 The men of the Henry Clay finally had to jump into the water 
 to save their lives, while the vessel floated until she burned up. 
 
 Another transport was sunk by the rebels, but the rest of them 
 passed the batteries, though not without suffering considerable 
 damage. 
 
 As to the naval vessels, they had to go slowly and take the ene 
 my s fire. The logs on their sides and the bales of hay with which 
 they were packed saved them in many cases. We had few people 
 killed, and the enemy s artillery fire was not much to boast of, con 
 sidering that they had over a hundred guns firing at us as we 
 drifted down stream in such close order that it would seem to have 
 been impossible to miss us. 
 
 The sight was a grand one, and I stood on deck admiring it, 
 while the captain fought his vessel and the pilot steered her 
 through fire and smoke as coolly as if he was performing an every 
 day duty. 
 
 The Vicksburgers must have been disappointed when they saw 
 us get by their batteries with so little damage. We suffered most 
 
GENERAL SHERMAN VISITS THE FLEET. 177 
 
 from the musketry fire. The soldiers lined the levee and fired into 
 our port-holes, wounding our men, for we were not more than twenty 
 yards from the shore. 
 
 Once only the fleet got into a little disorder, owing to the thick 
 smoke which hung over the river, but the commanding officers, ad 
 hering to their orders "to drift only," got safely out of the diffi 
 culty. 
 
 I had just passed the last battery in the Benton, and the vessels 
 behind were crowding rather closer than I liked, so I gave the order 
 to "Go ahead slow," to let the line straighten up. This soon put 
 us a hundred yards ahead, when I was hailed by some one in a boat, 
 "Benton ahoy!" 
 
 "Halloo!" I replied, and presently I recognized the voice of 
 General Sherman. 
 
 "Are you all right, old fellow ?" 
 
 " Come on board and see," I replied, and Sherman came over the 
 side to hear about our fortunes. 
 
 " One man s leg cut off by a round-shot, half a dozen shell and 
 musket-ball wounds," I said. 
 
 "You are more at home here than you were in the ditches 
 grounding on willow-trees," said Sherman. "Stick to this, old fel 
 low ; it suits Jack better. There are a lot of my boys on the point 
 ready to help you if you want anything. They hauled this boat 
 over for me. Good-night ! I must go and find out how the other 
 fellows fared," and I believe he visited every vessel in turn. He 
 would have liked to have been in the storm of shot could he have 
 done so with propriety. 
 
 When the Benton had passed all danger we still continued to 
 drift on. The cannon were yet booming, and fire was apparently 
 issuing from a dozen burning vessels. 
 
 It might have answered for a picture of the infernal regions. 
 
 We were an hour and a half in passing the batteries, which ex 
 tended along the river for about four miles. I could not stop to 
 ascertain what damage had been done to the other vessels, as I had 
 to keep moving to make way for those behind me. 
 
 The sound of guns gradually decreased as the vessels passed the 
 batteries, and then all was silent. The fires had burned out, and 
 the river had returned to its former obscurity. 
 
 I came to anchor around a point, and in ten minutes the gun 
 boats began to come in sight one after another in the same order in 
 which they had started, anchoring in line under the stern of the 
 12 
 
178 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Benton. Bunches of cotton still ablaze, and burning fragments of 
 the wreck of the Henry Clay, continued to come down with the 
 current, giving an old rebel, who stood on the shore abreast of our 
 anchorage, an opportunity to call out, "Whar are yer gun-boats 
 now ? I tole yer dam* soldiers thar wouldn t be mor n one on em 
 left by ther time Vicksburg war done with em ! " 
 
 And this worthy went to sleep, happy in the thought that the 
 floating bits of cotton were the remains of the unfortunate gun 
 boats, only to wake on the morrow to disappointment. 
 
 General Grant had turned the enemy s flank with his army, I 
 had turned it with the gun-boats ; now Grant had to cross the river 
 and trust to his brave soldiers, who were glad to do anything rather 
 than sit down day after day with nothing to do but carry on the 
 ordinary routine of an army. Yet such must be the fate of those 
 who enter upon a siege like that of Vicksburg, where Nature has 
 thrown almost insurmountable obstructions in the way of a hostile 
 army. 
 
 Grant ought to have felt happy that night when it was reported 
 to him that the gun-boats and transports had arrived at Carthage 
 ready for work, for he knew that he had now a prospect of getting 
 in the rear of the rebel stronghold. As for myself, I felt sure of 
 success, and was certain that Vicksburg would soon be ours. 
 
 General Sherman seemed to take much interest in the passage 
 of the fleet by Vicksburg. Not long ago he employed Mr. Taylor, 
 an artist of New York, to paint a picture of the affair, I furnishing 
 photographs of the vessels and other material in my possession. The 
 picture, which is a very correct representation of the scene, is now 
 in the War Department, while the original study hangs in my 
 library. 
 
 When daylight broke, after the passage of the fleet, I was be 
 sieged by the commanding officers of the gun-boats, who came to 
 tell me of their mishaps ; but when I intimated that I intended to 
 leave at Carthage any vessel that could not stand the hammering 
 they would be subject to at Grand Gulf, everybody suddenly discov 
 ered that no damage had been done their vessels, which, if anything, 
 were better prepared for action than when they started out ! 
 
 Opposite where I lay was a body of Union troops, and, supposing 
 it was McClernand s corps, which had the advance, I steamed up to 
 the levee to greet them. 
 
 I found they had thrown up intrenchments, and had a log on a 
 pair of cart-wheels to represent a field-piece. 
 
WOODEN GUNS ON CART-WHEELS. 179 
 
 General McClernand had pushed ahead with three or four hun 
 dred men of Osterhaus s brigade, and, upon arriving at the point 
 where I found them, they discovered themselves confronted by a 
 couple of Confederate regiments, who had thrown up earth- works 
 and armed them with four guns supposed to be thirty-pounder 
 rifles. 
 
 Generals McClernand and Osterhaus came on board the Benton 
 as soon as she was made fast to the bank. The former seemed 
 pleased to see us, but Osterhaus was beaming all over. 
 
 "Now," said he, "dose dampt fellers, dey ll catch it ; give dem 
 gun-boat soup ! " 
 
 One of Osterhaus s staff ran up to an ensign an old friend of 
 his an d, giving him a fraternal hug, exclaimed, "Ah, Pill, mein 
 Gott ! how glad I am to see you ! De sight of you ish petter ash 
 goot. Effery soldier in der army ought to carry a gun-pote mit hi3 
 pocket!" 
 
 "Ya! ya!" said another, "I knosh someding petter as dot. 
 Effery man shoult pe a gun-pote ; dot s what I calls de ticket for 
 soups ! " 
 
 In the works which the Confederates had thrown up opposite 
 McClernand were two or three flags which I thought we might as 
 well capture. McClernand requested that I would let the gun-boats 
 get under way and settle that work. 
 
 I signaled for Captain Shirk, of the Tuscumbia, and directed 
 him to go down and drive the Confederates out of the fort, keeping 
 up such a rapid fire of grape and shrapnel that the enemy could not 
 carry off a single gun. 
 
 The Confederate earth-works were distant about eight hundred 
 yards from us on the bank of the river, and in twenty minutes time 
 the Tuscumbia had opened her batteries at a distance of about three 
 hundred yards, and the enemy soon evacuated their fortifications, 
 carrying their flags with them. 
 
 Captain Shirk returned almost immediately, having failed to 
 carry out my orders and bring the guns with him. But when he 
 came on board the Benton he held in his hand a canvas knapsack. 
 
 "What is that, sir ?" I inquired, a little severely ; "and where 
 are those guns ? " 
 
 The guns, he said, were four logs mounted on cart-wheels, and 
 the knapsack contained all the enemy s commissary stores, which he 
 dropped as he was running away. 
 
 In the knapsack was an old shoe and an ear of corn. Heavens ! 
 
180 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 what a commentary on the war was this ! A soldier fighting for 
 an idea he did not comprehend and against the only form of gov 
 ernment which could insure the freedom of the poor white man of 
 the South, and willing to live on an ear of corn a day in order that 
 an oligarchy might be formed to bring him down to the level of a 
 brute. 
 
 Just think of the Spartan courage, though combined with igno 
 rance, on the part of those who bore arms for the South ! Who 
 could help admiring such men, even though fighting against them ? 
 
 I witnessed many similar cases when visiting battle-fields, and, 
 led by curiosity, examined the knapsacks of the dead soldiers. 
 
 On one occasion I found but a handful of corn ; on another, a 
 few ounces of corn-bread ; and in both cases the dead men were so 
 emaciated by hard labor and the want of proper food that they were 
 reduced to skin and bones. 
 
 In point of endurance they set us an example it would have been 
 hard to follow. I do not know whether we could have endured the 
 hardships as well as they, as we were never called upon to try it. 
 Our Commissary Department was the best in the world, and the 
 waste of our provisions would have supplied a European army. 
 
 The presence of the gun-boats enabled General McClernand to 
 take a more comfortable position, and he established his headquar 
 ters close by the advance of his corps, being about five miles from 
 Grand Gulf, where it was at that time supposed General Grant would 
 cross over if the gun-boats could drive the enemy from their bat 
 teries at that place. 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 NAYAL BATTLE AT GRAND GULF THREE COMMISSIONERS FROM 
 WASHINGTON TO EXAMINE INTO THE CONDUCT OF AFFAIRS 
 ONE OF THE COMMISSIONERS IN A "LONG SHIRT" TAR AND 
 FEATHERS LANDING OF THE ARMY AT BRUENSBURG AMUS 
 ING STORY OF AN IOWA REGIMENT FIRST MEETING WITH 
 GENERAL A. J. SMITH A CONFEDERATE RAM. 
 
 THE battle of Grand Gulf was fought April 29, 1863, and won 
 by the navy, and it was as hard a fight as any that occurred during 
 the war. 
 
JOLLITY ON BOARD MY FLAG-SHIP, THE BENTON. 181 
 
 For more than five hours the gun-boats engaged the enemy s 
 batteries at close quarters, the latter having thirteen heavy guns 
 placed on commanding heights from eighty to one hundred and 
 twenty feet above the river. We lost seventy-five men in killed 
 and wounded, and silenced all the enemy s guns. We passed all 
 the transports by the batteries without damage, and General Grant 
 was at liberty to cross the Mississippi and commence operations on 
 the Vicksburg side as soon as he thought proper. 
 
 He had marched some thirty-two thousand men to the point 
 opposite Grand Gulf, and gun-boats and transports were all assem 
 bled there, waiting to go whithersoever they were wanted. 
 
 General Grant witnessed the action at Grand Gulf from a tug 
 in the middle of the river. 
 
 There had come to visit the army three persons who were re 
 ported to be commissioners sent from Washington to examine into 
 the conduct of affairs Mr. E. B. Washburn, Governor Yates, and 
 Adjutant-General Thomas. These gentlemen were on board the 
 tug with General Grant during the engagement between the forts 
 and the gun-boats, and I think were favorably impressed with the 
 result of the conflict. For the official report of the fight I must 
 refer my readers to the Secretary of the Navy s Annual Report for 
 1863. 
 
 When night came I made General Grant and the commissioners 
 very comfortable on board my flag-ship, the Benton, for the army, 
 by Grant s order, had brought no tents, and to old General Thomas 
 I gave up my state-room. On such occasions people will be jolly 
 if the company is at all congenial, and that night formed no excep 
 tion to the rule. 
 
 The commissioners expressed their satisfaction that the army 
 had moved from before Vicksburg, and that we could keep open 
 communications with our base of supplies. 
 
 Sherman, with a large army and a considerable naval force, was 
 left near Milliken s Bend to act as might be advisable, and Grant 
 could either get in the rear of Vicksburg via Bruensburg or try 
 some other point. 
 
 I was particularly interested that night in making General 
 Thomas comfortable, helping him unpack his carpet-bag and get out 
 his " long shirty" in which attire he looked every inch an adjutant- 
 general ! To supplement his "long shirt," I furnished him with a 
 night-cap," under the influence of which the old gentleman grew 
 confidential and told me the whole story of the commission. 
 
182 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " Great complaints," said the general, " have come to the Presi 
 dent from some one in the army before Vicksburg in regard to 
 Grant s manner of conducting operations, and Mr. Lincoln there 
 fore determined to find out for himself the true state of affairs ; so 
 he sent the present commissioners to examine with full powers." 
 Here the general stopped and swore me to secrecy. Mr. Washburn 
 was sent as the fast friend of General Grant, Governor Yates as a 
 man in whose conscientious opinions the President could depend, 
 and General Thomas "as a military expert, who could explain to 
 his colleagues the exact situation of affairs and the defects in Grant s 
 plans if any existed ! " 
 
 "We stopped first," said the general, "at McClernand s camp, 
 to ascertain his style of doing things. He gave us a grand review 
 and a good lunch, but had no ice for his champagne ; then we called 
 on Grant, and, Admiral, I ll give you a piece of information." 
 
 "Wait a moment," I interrupted; "your throat sounds dry; 
 try this glass of toddy ; it will make you sleep like a top, and you 
 won t feel the mosquitoes." 
 
 The general drank it down without winking. " You would have 
 made a fortune, Admiral, as a barkeeper," he said ; " you have such a 
 talent for mixing drinks ; but don t mention what I m going to tell 
 you. I carry in my bag full authority to remove General Grant and 
 place whomsoever I please in command of the army ; " and the old 
 general drew himself up and looked at me as much as to say, " What 
 do you think of that ?" 
 
 I reflected for a moment, and then asked whom it was proposed 
 to put in Grant s place. 
 
 "Well," replied General Thomas, "that depends ; McClernand 
 is prominent." 
 
 "General," I said, "no doubt your plans are well considered, 
 but let an old salt give you a piece of advice. Don t let your plans 
 get out, for if the army and navy should find out what you three 
 gentlemen came for, they would tar and feather you, and neither 
 General Grant nor myself could prevent it." 
 
 " Is it possible ? " exclaimed the general. "But I don t intend 
 to do anything. We are delighted with all we have seen, so there 
 will be no change. I should have pursued the same course as Gen 
 eral Grant had I been in command myself ! " 
 
 " Stick to that, General," I said, " and don t forget that I am in 
 earnest about the tar and feathers ; now go to sleep and dream of 
 being made major-general for the good service you will perform by 
 
IN THE REAR OF VICKSBURG. 183 
 
 telling the President that everything has been done that could be 
 done, that the army and the navy are all right, and that Vicks- 
 burg will be ours in thirty days, if not sooner." 
 
 I never mentioned General Thomas s conversation until some 
 years after the close of the war, when I gave General Badeau, who 
 was then writing the "Military History of General Grant," my 
 journal to look over. 
 
 I have read several accounts of the siege of Vicksburg, but none 
 of them convey a good idea of the operations which led to the fall 
 of that stronghold. The true history of the siege of Vicksburg 
 must not be the sensational work of a penny-a-liner. It will be a 
 chronicle of patient labor. There were no "dashing moves" while 
 our army was sitting down before the place or before the city was 
 turned. There was no place to dash into except the Mississippi 
 Kiver. 
 
 At daylight, on the morning after the Grand Gulf fight, the 
 troops began to throng on board the gun-boats and transports, and, 
 when all were embarked, we headed down stream instead of crossing 
 over, and in an hour and a half hauled up at Bruensburg, on the 
 Vicksburg side. 
 
 There some thirty- two thousand men with rations for four days 
 were landed, and then commenced that remarkable series of move 
 ments which placed our army in the rear of Vicksburg, our troops 
 forcing their way between two formidable armies of forty thousand 
 men each, posted in commanding positions. 
 
 Our troops had to assail the enemy after long and tortuous 
 marches, with a deep river on one side and almost inaccessible hills 
 bristling with bayonets to oppose them. 
 
 It was in my opinion the most remarkable and most successful 
 military operation of the civil war, and was the crowning move 
 toward placing the Father of Waters once more under the absolute 
 control of its legitimate rulers. 
 
 If any one had heretofore doubted General Grant s ability, it 
 would seem that the latter s arrival on the heights in the rear of 
 Vicksburg, driving Pemberton with forty thousand men into the 
 intrenched city, and causing General Joe Johnston with an equal 
 force to retire beyond Jackson, must have removed his doubts. 
 
 I at once opened communication with Grant s army by way of 
 the Yazoo, and the city of Vicksburg was in a day or two sealed up 
 so tight that even the "intelligent contraband" found it impossible 
 to get in or out. 
 
184: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 There we will leave the army, for we can not tell the story of 
 the hardships and trials they underwent, the disappointments they 
 suffered, and the fortitude they exhibited. 
 
 The entire operations were marked by a happy co-operation on 
 the part of the army and the navy, on which success so much de 
 pends on such occasions. 
 
 It could not be expected that an army which started out with 
 but four days rations and cut themselves off from their base of sup 
 plies could do otherwise than live upon the country. There were 
 certain regiments in that army which had a reputation as pot-hunt 
 ers as well as fighters, and one of these was the 13th Iowa, in Gen 
 eral A. J. Smith s brigade. 
 
 Bruensburg and the surrounding country was the great depot 
 for live-stock, grain, etc., and, in twenty-four hours after the arrival 
 of our army, fresh meat abounded in camp, and the soldiers lines 
 seemed to have fallen in pleasant places. Foraging was not pro 
 hibited ; in fact, the soldiers were cautioned to save the Govern 
 ment rations for an emergency ; so that the squealing of pigs, and 
 the bleating of calves and sheep, and the cackling of poultry were 
 common sounds in camp, and many a fence-rail was burned to cook 
 provisions for some veteran who had proved himself a good forager. 
 
 The day after General Grant s arrival at Bruensburg, so goes the 
 story, as he was sitting in his tent, the flap was pushed aside and 
 an old rebel, who had long passed the time to bear arms, thrust his 
 head through the opening. In his hand he held a rope, which was 
 attached to a large, raw-boned mule with swelled knees and minus 
 an eye. At least twenty summers must have passed over the head 
 of this interesting animal. 
 
 The old fellow gazed curiously at the general, as if he had ex 
 pected to see one of the huge ogres such as figure in the chronicles 
 of Jack the Giant-Killer. Be you the gin ral of this here army ? " 
 he inquired ; " ef so, I got a complaint agin one of your rigiments, 
 an I want you to tend to it to onst. I don t come here to ask 
 favors, but to deman my rights, for, if these ain t granted, dem my 
 picter if yer don t see some tall talkin w en this here war s over an 
 the Confed rit Gov ment makes claim for damages to her loyal citi 
 zens. I m Abel Doolittle, that s who I am, an ef I hadn t the al- 
 firedest nicest farm in all these parts afore your bummers come along, 
 I ll swell up an sneeze. An ef you don t see me righted, w en this 
 blasted war is ended, you ll hear on this, I tell you ! Fust comes 
 them Confed rit fellers an* takes two tenths uv all we got, an gin 
 
STORY OF AN IOWA REGIMENT. 185 
 
 us a bar l uv Confed rit shin-plasters ; then comes along yer blasted 
 pot-hunters an takes the tother eight tenths, and never even said 
 Thank ye ! What you think uv that ? " 
 
 "Didn t they give you a receipt ?" inquired the general. 
 
 "Receipt! thunder!" said the old man. "Yes, they giv us 
 receipts enough, but them things ain t wuth nothin ; an , I tell you, 
 I m goin ter be paid, or you ll hear on it." 
 
 " What is your complaint ? " inquired the general. 
 
 "Well," replied the old man, "I ain t got no complaint, as I 
 knows on just now, ceptin the rheumatiz an fever an ager, same s 
 all ov us has at this season." 
 
 "I mean," said the general, "what charges have you to make 
 against any one ? Speak out, and don t take up my time. Here, 
 Rawlins, attend to this man," and the general walked away. 
 
 "Now," said General Rawlins, "say quickly what you have to 
 say, and then get out of this." 
 
 "Ah, yes !" exclaimed the old man, "that s demed pretty talk. 
 You fellers come along and eat us out of house and home, an , when 
 a man wants his money, you turn up yer nose as if yer owned the 
 Guano Islands." 
 
 " What happened to you ? " said Rawlins. 
 
 "Why," said the old fellow, "I had the finest lot ov chickens, 
 turkeys, pigs, an sheep as ever you seen, but dam my buttons ef 
 you fellers ain t gone an tuk everything except this ole muel v an* 
 an ole goose. There was two ov them geese, an they tried one uv 
 em ; but ef a hull rigimint didn t break their teeth out after tearin 
 away at that ole goose, well, I don t know what loosin teeth is. 
 Why, Gin ral, ef I hadn t brought the muel away they d a eatin 
 him." 
 
 " But what do you expect me to do ? " inquired General Raw 
 lins. " How are you going to find out who did all that you com 
 plain of?" 
 
 "Well, I know who did it," said the old fellow ; "it s one of 
 Gin ral A. J. Smith s rigiments. I know the sargint what led them 
 men on. He belongs to the 13th. lowy, an he kin skin a hog quick- 
 er n grease lightnin ." 
 
 Just then General A. J. Smith walked into the tent. " Here, 
 General," said Rawlins, "this man has a complaint to make against 
 some of your boys." 
 
 "What is it ?" said General Smith. 
 
 "Just what I tole this here gin ral," replied the old man; 
 
186 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " your men come on ter my place an they stole everythin they 
 could lay han s on, an only lef me an ole goose an this ole muel." 
 
 The general looked at him with contempt. " Pray what regi 
 ment did all this damage ? " 
 
 "The 13th lowy," said the man. 
 
 "They weren t my men, thir," said General Smith. "Ith s a 
 damned lie ; they never were on your farm. I know my boys too 
 well. If it had been the 13th Iowa they d have taken everything 
 on the place, and wouldn t have left a goose or a mule or anything 
 else. No, thir ! my boys don t do things in that way. If you don t 
 keep your eye on that mule they ll get him away from you before 
 sundown." 
 
 The old man turned around to gaze upon his beloved mule, then 
 shouted, " By the great Jehosophat, ef they ain t gone an tuk him 
 an leff a darned sojer at the end of the rope ! " 
 
 General Smith glanced proudly around. "Ah, Eawlins!" he 
 said, " those must have been my boys after all ; if I could only hear 
 that they had eaten the old man s goose I should be certain of it." 
 
 " They re a hard set, General," said Rawlins. 
 
 "Yes," said General Smith, "but they don t cost the Govern 
 ment anything for transportation, and, no matter where they camp, 
 they find a store of provisions half an hour afterward." 
 
 General A. J. Smith was one of those glorious old veterans who 
 shared with his men all the dangers and hardships of the campaign. 
 He never permitted any of his command to indulge in luxuries if 
 he could help it ; and once, in trying to express his contempt for 
 a certain person, said, "He is one of those fellows who carry a 
 shelter-tent ! " 
 
 General Smith and myself served together a good deal, and I 
 never knew him to falter. He was as brave a man as Grant had in 
 his army, and, although he allowed his men a great deal of latitude, 
 he was a rigid disciplinarian. 
 
 My first meeting with General A. J. Smith was an amusing one. 
 It took place at Fort Hindman, Arkansas. Fort Hindman, for 
 merly called " Arkansas Post," was captured by the navy. About an 
 hour after the surrender, when the prisoners had all been secured, 
 a large number of Union officers on horseback were seen approach 
 ing the fort. The marines had been posted as sentinels, and the 
 sailors were taking the prisoners off to the gun-boats. An adjutant 
 galloped up, and, jumping from his horse, sang out, "Get out of 
 this ; everybody clear the fort. General Smith is coming to take 
 
FIRST ACQUAINTANCE WITH GENERAL A. J. SMITH. 187 
 
 possession. Clear out at once ! " The naval officers were watching 
 the approaching cavalcade from the summit of a mound. I was 
 dressed in a blue blouse with nothing but a pair of small shoulder- 
 straps to indicate my rank, and, stepping down, I said to the new 
 comer, " Who are you, pray, that undertakes to give such orders 
 here ? "We ve whipped the rebels out of this place, and if you don t 
 take care we will clear you out also ! " At that moment General 
 Smith rode in with the cavalcade. "Here, General," said the 
 officer, " is a man who says he isn t going out of this for you or 
 anybody else, and that he ll whip us out if we don t take care ! " 
 "Will he, be God?" said General Smith; "will he, be God? Let 
 me see him ; bring the fellow here ! " I stepped forward and said, 
 "Here I am, sir, the admiral commanding this squadron." At 
 this announcement Smith laid his right hand on the holster of his 
 pistol. I thought, of course, that he was about to shoot me, but, 
 instead of that, the general hauled out a bottle and said, " Be God ! 
 Admiral, I m glad to see you ; let s take a drink ! " 
 
 This was the origin of my acquaintance with General A. J. 
 Smith, resulting in a friendship which lasted through the war. 
 
 After landing the army at Bruensburg I steamed down the Mis 
 sissippi to the mouth of Red River, where Farragut was in the Hart 
 ford, relieved him of the blockade of that stream, and he rejoined 
 his squadron. Fort Hudson had not yet surrendered. 
 
 Then I started up Red River, took possession of Fort de Russy, 
 and partly destroyed that work. 
 
 Farragut had cautioned me against a ram said to be building 
 up Red River. After finishing with Fort de Russy I began to in 
 quire about the ram, for I did not desire to suddenly encounter such 
 an enemy while turning a bend in the river, and perhaps lose one 
 or more of my vessels. 
 
 I entered into conversation with a man whom we met near Fort 
 de Russy, and said to him, " Well, stranger, I hear you have a Con 
 federate ram up here somewhere. Whereabouts is she ? " 
 
 "Lemme think," said the native, scratching his head while 
 going through the thinking process. "Yes, thar is a ram bout 
 eight miles above hyar." 
 
 f Is it a powerful one ? " I inquired. 
 
 " Wall, I reckon you d think so ef you seen it ; it s the allfiredest 
 strong thing ever I seen, an I guess at buttin it ud knock them ar 
 bows of yourn into smithereens." 
 
 "How large is it ?" I asked. 
 
188 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 ""Wall, it s bout the biggest thing I ever seen." 
 
 " Tell me all about it," I said, for I was beginning to get inter 
 ested. 
 
 "Wall, Gin ral," said the man, "that s easier said than done. 
 It s an allfired buster, an kin beat all creation at buttin . That s 
 all I knows about it. I seen it on Mr. Whi tier s place, as I tole yer, 
 eight miles above hyar ; an* one day, w en I was up thar, whar thar 
 war a bull weighin twenty-eight hunder, an as soon as the bull seen 
 the ram he gan to paw the airth an throwed up his tail, an the 
 ram put down his head an the bull bellered, an they went slap 
 dash at each other, an ef that ram didn t knock daylights out o* 
 that bull, and knock his tail out by the roots, and his horns off, and 
 lay him out as flat as a pancake, I m a liar ! " 
 
 "But," said I, "I am asking you about a Confederate ram a 
 vessel covered with iron." 
 
 "Wall, Gin ral," said the man, "I don t know nothin bout 
 any Confed rit ram, but I m sure the one I seen could knock the 
 bows off them ar turtles ov yourn afore you could wink, an I reckon 
 he mus be a Confed rit ram, seem he war born in these parts." 
 
 Any apprehensions I might have had in regard to a Confederate 
 ram were put at rest, and I made no more inquiries. 
 
 I was afterward informed that this simple native whom I had 
 questioned was a Confederate officer in disguise, who regaled his 
 friends with the story of how he had beguiled the Yankees. How 
 ever, he was entirely welcome to his little joke. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 
 
 SEE those hills, with their heads so defiant and bold, 
 Standing up as if reared by the Titans of old ; 
 The deep rolling river just laving their feet, 
 And the cool glens and valleys defying the heat. 
 There are caves in those hills where a ripple of light 
 Scarce enters within where the darkness of night 
 Reigns supreme, like some great and imperial king, 
 Where the sun not even a shadow can fling ; 
 
SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 189 
 
 For darkness is sovereign, the light of the day, 
 
 "When peeping in there, flies frightened away. 
 
 The thick fog in the noon-time almost baffles the sight, 
 
 And, obscuring the sun, turns day into night. 
 
 On the rugged hill-tops great forests abound, 
 
 And the day throws no light in that stillness profound ; 
 
 In the foreground are gorges, rifted and torn 
 
 By fire and wind, and by swift torrents worn, 
 
 Where brambles and scrub-oaks, all twisted in one, 
 
 Bar the way to invaders or the light of the sun. 
 
 High on the plateau, higher than all, 
 
 Stands the labor of man a marvelous wall 
 
 Its guns and its mortars protecting the rear, 
 
 Half-moons and counterscarps, where defenders need fear 
 
 No assailants who ll come in the gloom of the night. 
 
 The ramparts are manned with men who will fight. 
 
 Each house is a castle throughout the old town, 
 
 And the front with strong works is environed around ; 
 
 The right wing is protected by a frightful abyss, 
 
 On the other side faced by a steep precipice ; 
 
 Here would be scattered assailants and all, 
 
 And they long would remember that o erhanging wall. 
 
 On the left runs a line, showing bright in the sun, 
 
 Of earth-works in numbers, mounting many a gun, 
 
 With rough-looking rocks crowding round them in piles, 
 
 And intrenchments bewildering extending for miles. 
 
 This is Vicksburg the heart of this terrible strife 
 
 Prepared at all points to contend for its life. 
 
 Ah ! those beautiful valleys, so bright and serene, 
 
 The red blood will deluge their grass-plots so green ; 
 
 The hill-sides and rocks will be soon red and gory, 
 
 And in ages to come they ll be famous in story. 
 
 We surround the doomed city, the pressure s begun, 
 And we re throwing in missiles from mortar and gun. 
 Months pass, and a gloom, like the mantle of death, 
 Hangs over the scene, where not even a breath 
 Of hope could be felt. While the brave foemen fell 
 By the hundreds beneath our merciless shell, 
 We bombarded in front, we assaulted the rear, 
 And every attack only cost us more dear. 
 
190 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 There s an end to endurance ; the long-gnawing fast 
 Could not be withstood ; the fall came at last. 
 
 In the trenches, in battle, ah ! the days of the past 
 
 Rose before the poor soldier breathing his last ; 
 
 He would turn his dimmed eyes to the light in the west, 
 
 And waft a fond sigh to those he loved best. 
 
 But how many were wrapped in the garments of Death 
 
 Who welcomed Life s ending ! War s withering breath 
 
 Had wrested from many every joy in this life, 
 
 For what joy could one find in this murderous strife ? 
 
 Many breathed their last sigh on that wide gory plain, 
 
 And welcomed the bullet that ended their pain. 
 
 And the angels rejoice o er the soldier s repose, 
 
 And drop tears o er the life just brought to a close ; 
 
 For no longer he ll battle on the chill, dreary plain 
 
 With hunger and thirst, in the cold sleety rain, 
 
 Where day s turned to night, and night into day, 
 
 And where shrapnel and shell sweep hundreds away. 
 
 Thank God ! the sweet angel of mercy is by 
 
 The brave soldier who dies, and will catch his last sigh ; 
 
 Soars aloft with his soul, while never again 
 
 In hardship or battle will it grapple with pain. 
 
 The cold, bitter blasts of winter have come, 
 
 And bring back the thoughts of a once-cherished home ; 
 
 The snow, which is red with the blood of the brave, 
 
 Piles up in rifts o er the poor soldier s grave ; 
 
 And the cold, piercing wind, in its merciless wrath, 
 
 Is howling a requiem of death in its path, 
 
 As if searching for something still further to blast, 
 
 And dealing destruction all round to the last. 
 
 The angel of mercy sits out in the storm, 
 
 A halo of light flashes round her pure form, 
 
 And she drives off in anger that demon of sin 
 
 Who is watching his chance in the storm to get in, 
 
 And now flies in dismay, back, back to his shades, 
 
 Down, down to the bottomless pit of dark Hades, 
 
 For God in his mercy claims as his own 
 
 Those fallen hi war who great honors have won. 
 
SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 191 
 
 There s that broken-down soldier sitting out in the storm ; 
 
 Pinched is his face and bent is his form ; 
 
 His uniform s ragged, his whole look is forlorn, 
 
 His breakfast is simply a handful of corn. 
 
 Shivering he sits, most sad is his look, 
 
 He has no commissariat, no victuals to cook. 
 
 Torn from his home what a terrible fate ! 
 
 To fight gainst his will and nourish a hate 
 
 For the flag he once loved, and that beautiful plan 
 
 The Creator designed for the freedom of man, 
 
 What can console him ? what can repay 
 
 For privations he s suffered, his life thrown away ? 
 
 Who sits by his side in the withering cold, 
 
 Looking so sickly, so wretchedly old ? 
 
 Tis a comrade he cares for. He can scarce draw a breath ; 
 
 He is leaving last words, he is fighting with Death. 
 
 So passes the night, so passes the day, 
 
 Hundreds by Death are oft snatched away. 
 
 Shot and shell do their work, but privations do more, 
 
 And fill up the grave-yard along the lone shore. 
 
 See that bright youth of eighteen, looking afar 
 At the western horizon, on the bright evening star. 
 Another is looking at that star in the west, 
 And, knowing he sees it, thinks herself blest. 
 They promised, at parting, when the rays of the sun 
 Were melting in twilight and the day s work was done, 
 They d go out in the evening and look at that star, 
 And their souls be united, though parted so far. 
 He hears the sweet chimes of the soft vesper bell 
 And quickly he knelt as it soothingly fell 
 And he sends up a prayer to the Ruler on high, 
 And falls dead as he kneels, and wafts her a sigh, 
 For a ball strikes his heart. He will see her no more ; 
 She will watch now alone, his watching is o er. 
 A cloud, dark and threatening, obscures all the west, 
 And that poor maiden feels she no longer is blest. 
 Her soldier is dead, his marching is done, 
 An angel stoops o er him, a triumph is won ; 
 A soul flies to heaven, there s joy in the skies, 
 There s a whisper of mercy as upward it flies. 
 
192 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Look at those soldiers, how they hobble away ! 
 
 There s no work for them now, they can no longer stay ; 
 
 They ve been wounded and starved, they go out on parole, 
 
 Their limbs are all shattered, naught is left but a soul. 
 
 At night, on the road, they ll have no place to lie, 
 
 Yet they ll struggle along, for they go home to die. 
 
 Already they see the home-fire s bright glare, 
 
 And father, and mother, and sister are there. 
 
 Though they ve suffered with cold and have no place to sleep, 
 
 And live on mild charity as onward they creep, 
 
 They keep their eyes fixed on that star in the west ; 
 
 Just beneath it they hope to find welcome and rest. 
 
 Yet who pities the pains of the soldiers so poor ? 
 
 They crawl with crushed limbs past the rich man s closed door ; 
 
 Still they keep their eyes fixed on that star in the sky, 
 
 "Which points out the road to their homes where they ll die. 
 
 The poor ones would help them, but they barely can live ; 
 
 They are starving themselves they have nothing to give. 
 
 Move on ! they can t help you, they nothing can do ; 
 
 Go to some richer mansion they are poorer than you. 
 
 And they move on. At night on the wet soil they lie, 
 
 And they reach home at last, but to lie down and die. 
 
 And the bright star of eve still shines in the west, 
 
 And sheds its light on the graves of the soldiers at rest. 
 
 Tears are shed on the sod, a wife s last fond claim, 
 
 And the poor soldier sleeps his last sleep without fame. 
 
 Just observe those sweet villas, once with beauty bedecked, 
 
 They are shattered and torn, without tenants, and wrecked. 
 
 The rose, which in clusters sheds its perfume around, 
 
 Is lying all trampled and crushed on the ground. 
 
 Gaunt desolation now dwells in those halls, 
 
 And the bomb-shells rude blows have destroyed all the walls ; 
 
 The owls and the foxes in these rooms make their home. 
 
 Those who lived there, and loved there, now have to roam, 
 
 Seeking for shelter in damp holes in the hills, 
 
 Breathing foulest of air, and air that soon kills. 
 
 In vain they seek safety ; the deep, piercing shell 
 
 Makes their homes in the caves little better than hell ; 
 
 But, though suffering all evils, and without light of day, 
 
 They kneel down at eve and in hopelessness pray. 
 
SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 193 
 
 And the loose, yielding earth only gives them a grave, 
 
 For they die, when fast sleeping, with no hand to save. 
 
 No one can hear that loud, piercing cry 
 
 That ascends to their God (for mercy) on high. 
 
 In ages to come, men in digging below 
 
 Will find their poor bones, but they never will know 
 
 Of the anguish and pain of the inmates who fell 
 
 (In the close, pent-up cave) by the deep, piercing shell. 
 
 There are the dead in their graves in long, mournful 
 
 rows 
 
 What anguish they suffered in dying 1 Who knows ? 
 Who kept a record ? Who is there can tell 
 Who died of starvation, or whom by the shell ? 
 All we know is, they lie by the deep river shore, 
 A board at their heads with a number no more. 
 Friends may ask for their bones, when the war s at an end ; 
 Who can tell, midst that crowd, who s relation or friend ? 
 What havoc those bomb-shells have made in that ground 
 Heads, legs, and arms all scattered around ! 
 No peace for the living, no peace for the dead, 
 What cared the gunners, so Death could be fed ? 
 Uprooted are coffins, and the grave-yard debris 
 Is scattered about in confusion, you see. 
 It were useless to try and regather the dead ; 
 That can not be done till the day when the dread 
 Trumpet calls us before God s awful throne ; 
 Then the dead will all rise and bone spring to bone. 
 
 That street is much torn by the thirteen-inch shell, 
 Cobble-stone, curb-stone are mixed up pell-mell 
 With remains of strong horses and dead mules in the roads 
 They were all blown to pieces while drawing their loads. 
 
 See those stone-houses crushed, those church-steeples knocked 
 
 down, 
 
 And disaster and ruin all over the town ; 
 No pen can describe, no language can tell, 
 The terrible blow of a thirteen-inch shell. 
 It bursts in the air, it bursts in the ground, 
 And scatters its death-dealing fragments around ; 
 
 13 
 
194 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 It brings sleepless nights when it bursts in the air, 
 And warns the besieged that the foe is still there. 
 
 Mark that company coming from church. A fair bride 
 
 Has an officer by her how she clings to his side ! 
 
 They have plighted their vows and are now man and wife, 
 
 And have promised to cling to each other through life. 
 
 Life s uncertain at best, and how little we know 
 
 By day or by night when will come the death-blow ! 
 
 They at least hope to gather some flowers in spring, 
 
 And sit hand in hand where the mocking-birds sing, 
 
 Or list to the lark as it soars in the sky, 
 
 While the swift mountain stream goes murmuring by. 
 
 But who, in their wildest conjectures, could tell 
 
 These two were to die by a murderous shell ? 
 
 But grim Death spares neither the young nor the old. 
 
 It did not spare them ; the story s soon told. 
 
 Hand in hand they walked on. A terrible shell 
 
 Burst in their midst, and both of them fell. 
 
 A Peri from paradise, lingering near by, 
 
 Flew quick to the spot and caught their last sigh, 
 
 And, springing aloft quicker than thought, 
 
 To the closed gates of heaven the welcome gift brought. 
 
 Here s a trophy for angels ; it is free from all sin ; 
 
 Wide open the gates, let me bring the gift in. 
 
 Harps of seraphs resound through the portals on high, 
 
 While God s hosts rejoice o er the lovers last sigh. 
 
 Hark ! hark to the sound of the evening gun ! 
 The night-watch is set and the day s work is done. 
 The sentry on post walks along on his beat, 
 And all that is heard is the sound of his feet ; 
 He is thinking of mother and sisters at home, 
 And the bright joys of life hereafter to come. 
 He stops on his beat. Say, what does he hear ? 
 Tis the hoot of the night-owl which strikes on his ear. 
 He continues his walk with monotonous tramp, 
 Wraps his thin coat about him, the night-air is damp ; 
 He strides on while he looks at the stars in the west, 
 Going down, one by one, to seek their night s rest. 
 
SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 195 
 
 They would rise in the morning, and again they would set, 
 And, like him, make their rounds o er their pathway but 
 
 yet 
 
 They were there for eternity : that he plainly could see ; 
 But, hy mid-day to-morrow, where would he be ? 
 A breeze blows, a bough breaks, a leaf falls to the ground ; 
 Again he now stops to list to that sound. 
 Comes a shriek through the air, and a small glittering light ; 
 It descends through a curve and dazzles his sight. 
 He watches it keenly ; it comes from afar ; 
 Tis a fire-fly surely, or a small falling star. 
 He has no time to think ; it drops at his feet 
 And explodes, tears up rocks. He falls dead on his beat. 
 All around know the sound of that bursting too well, 
 And turn pale o er the work of that merciless shelL 
 By starlight they bear him to the deep river s side, 
 And inter him in silence, where hundreds have died. 
 
 Lo ! there s an old shattered church, all ready to fall. 
 
 See how the green ivy still clings to the wall, 
 
 As a woman will cling, from the days of her youth, 
 
 To the man whom she s loved, who s lost honor and truth. 
 
 But the ivy and tendrils will fall to the ground, 
 
 And the wall, unsupported, very soon will come down. 
 
 Though holy the church, and so sacred the shrine, 
 
 Shells have no respect for walls so divine. 
 
 In war, men ne er think of the ruin they bring 
 
 On the sweet, loving homes, or the most sacred thing. 
 
 In war, man s a demon. His nature set free, 
 
 His soul is a desert, parched as deserts can be. 
 
 From its throne Human Reason steps down so debased, 
 
 Truth, love, pity, friendship all soon run to waste. 
 
 Man, urged by his passions, without due restraints, 
 
 Will desecrate altars and martyrize saints. 
 
 There s glory and fame left. Each passion a snare, 
 
 War is ruin in all shapes ; it brings but despair. 
 
 But enough of this subject. Let us close up the theme. 
 
 Of the great horrors there, no one would dream. 
 
 Gaunt famine killed hundreds, and sickness as well, 
 
 But worse came from the fall of the merciless shell. 
 
196 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 There s a fete in old Vicksburg. The great and the small 
 
 Are preparing to go to the officers ball, 
 
 Just to throw off their ennui, gloom, and despair, 
 
 Which, with famine and death, pervade the foul air. 
 
 The soldiers, in perfect abandon, no doubt, 
 
 Determine to have all their friends at a rout, 
 
 Where the music would cheer, and sweet converse would 
 
 flow, 
 
 And sound like the echo of joys long ago. 
 Little dress wants the soldier : he has made his toilet, 
 He is booted and spurred, has skin gloves on, and yet 
 He needs to look in the glass to adjust his cravat, 
 Or admire his curls, ere he sits down to chat. 
 Pray, why this grand ball ? We can only surmise. 
 Is t that lovers may bask in beauty s bright eyes ? 
 Or that viands so rare would enliven the sight, 
 And that scents of sweet flowers would perfume the night ? 
 No, it is none of these. There ll be no viands there, 
 No sherry nor champagne selected with care ; 
 No tables with ices, fruits, or salads are set, 
 Where the gay and the witty in laughter are met, 
 Where lights so resplendent reflect on the wall, 
 And make each one remember the officers ball. 
 Yet they ll bask in the looks of the dark and the fair, 
 "And bring back the smiles which joy used to wear." 
 There is nothing there but music full sweet, 
 Which gives pulse to the heart and life to the feet. 
 The men come to woo the lovely and fair, 
 And they all come this eve to beguile away care, 
 As the moths, that are lost in the gloom of the night, 
 Will fly on, confiding, to the hot, glaring light, 
 Heedless, forgetting, the poor foolish things ! 
 That in wooing the light they are burning their wings. 
 It is but a change in their terrible life 
 To get rid, for an hour, of gloom and of strife, 
 Though they only could hope to go back in the morn 
 To their caves where they d cherished their hatred and scorn. 
 The fair ones wear neither bracelet nor ring ; 
 They ve sold all for their cause Kebellion is king. 
 They are neither adorned with pearls nor rich laces ; 
 The attractions they have are their forms and their facea, 
 
SIEGE OF VICKSBURG. 197 
 
 Which, though marked with strong lines of sorrow and care, 
 
 Possess all the grace of their class which is rare. 
 
 They dim with their brightness each planet and star 
 
 Which beams on those beautiful dames from afar ; 
 
 No diamonds can vie with their sparkling black eyes, 
 
 Which are brighter by far than those lights in the skies, 
 
 And their faces but look more lovely and fair, 
 
 Rich framed in full coils of bright golden hair. 
 
 Dressed in plain fashion, they came one and all, 
 
 Each worthy to be the belle of the ball. 
 
 Their rich dresses have gone to the hospital store, 
 
 To be used for the wounded ; and, such as they wore, 
 
 Are the simplest and cheapest chenille to be found, 
 
 And their shoes are so worn their feet touch the ground. 
 
 This gay night many dance, forgetting their ills, 
 
 While others sit leaning on the cool window-sills. 
 
 Some round the ball-room gracefully walk 
 
 With their lovers, while others sit, flirt, and talk. 
 
 The ball-room s a barrack, where the murderous shell, 
 
 In the worst of the siege, never yet fell ; 
 
 And none there ever thought that shrapnel or ball 
 
 Could invade this retreat so thick was the wall. 
 
 Silently, slowly the fleet moves away 
 
 From the mouth of the Yazoo, where in safety it lay, 
 
 And it drifts along quietly, moved on by the stream, 
 
 Not turning the wheels or using the steam, 
 
 All looking like phantom-ships groping their way 
 
 Through the darkness of night to the confines of day. 
 
 They move o er the river with the silence of death ; 
 
 None whisper a word, or draw a long breath. 
 
 The moon has gone down, there s no sound in the camp, 
 
 Not even is heard the sentry s loud tramp. 
 
 That sentry s neglectful ; he must be asleep ; 
 
 No good soldier in war such poor vigil would keep. 
 
 Not so in this instance. The soldier s keen sight 
 
 Catches phantom-ships drifting along in the night, 
 
 And the fire leaps forth along the broad shore, 
 
 And is answered at once by the cannon s loud roar. 
 
 The ball is deserted, not a moment is lost, 
 
 Each officer rushes at once to his post. 
 
198 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 The husband stops not to speak one fond adieu 
 
 To the wife of his soul, and the lover so true 
 
 Tears away from his idol, with sorrow and pain, 
 
 To marshal his men. They ne er meet again. 
 
 From fortress and valleys, from casemates on high, 
 
 Bine-shell, shrapnel, and grape-shot now fly ; 
 
 And the fleet lends its cannon to add to the din, 
 
 And each soul is now nerved this battle to win. 
 
 But the shell from the ships sweep o er the broad plain, 
 
 And, bursting in air, is re-echoed again 
 
 O er the hill-tops, in caves, or wherever they fall. 
 
 They e en burst on the scene of the officers ball. 
 
 There is grief in the camp, and loud wailing this night, 
 
 For the wounded and dead who fell in that fight. 
 
 But the fires burned down, leaving Vicksburg in gloom, 
 
 And the phantom-ships floated on sealing her doom. 
 
 The besieged fight boldly mid the fire and blaze, 
 
 But their efforts are vain ; they look on in amaze 
 
 At the phantom-ships floating along on the stream, 
 
 And passing so swiftly, without using steam. 
 
 Who can tell what despair envelops them all 
 
 As they fly to the place where the officers ball 
 
 Had been held ? It had been swept by the shell, 
 
 And dying and dead are now mingled pell-mell. 
 
 The eyes that once sparkled, and were wont to beguile, 
 
 Are now closed in death. Lips no longer smile. 
 
 Their reward is in heaven for the good they have done ; 
 
 Their misfortunes are over, their battle is won. 
 
 Once more are united the blue and the gray 
 
 Eancor and hatred have both passed away. 
 
 No longer war s ogres, the defense, and the siege, 
 
 Keep up hostile feeling the Union is liege. 
 
 The atmosphere, filled with thick smoke and gloom, 
 
 No longer resounds with the cannon s loud boom. 
 
 Peace reigns triumphant all over the land, 
 
 And the North and the South move on hand in hand. 
 
 Death in his avarice has glutted the grave, 
 
 War has bathed its foul hands in the blood of the brave ; 
 
 But the sun shines again, as bright as of yore, 
 
 And the gay stars of heaven all twinkle once more, 
 
SIEGE OF VICKSBURG.GENERAL GRANT. 199 
 
 "While the moon, going down in its daily decline, 
 
 Sheds a soft mellow light on our tents all in line, 
 
 Where our soldiers are resting in honor and glory, 
 
 And are eulogized now in ballad and story. 
 
 The spirits of good in high heaven all smile 
 
 On the brave boys in blue the rank and the file 
 
 And sailors, God bless them ! who in days that are past, 
 
 In misfortune or glory, fought on to the last, 
 
 And were always so faithful, and pressed on the more, 
 
 When memory brought back the hard fighting of yore. 
 
 Dear reminiscences : they mellow with time, 
 
 And those dread scenes of war seem almost sublime, 
 
 Like old wine that s been binned and bottled for years, 
 
 Is more tasteful with age, and more precious appears. 
 
 Now we look back again on those terrible days, 
 
 And would give to each one his due meed of praise. 
 
 For those who were killed, tears of sorrow will fall, 
 
 And warm hearts in remembrance still beat for them all. 
 
 Now our flag waves serene, and its stars brightly shine, 
 And the sun gilds its stripes with a halo divine, 
 I will drink to the past in a bumper of wine. 
 That past which to many seemed doubtful at first 
 Was hopeful to me e en when looking its worst. 
 
 In the history of the world s sieges nothing will be found where 
 more patience was developed, more endurance under privations, or 
 more courage shown, than by the Union forces at the siege of 
 Vicksburg, while on the part of the besieged it was marked by 
 their great fertility of resource in checking almost every movement 
 of ours, and for the long months of suffering and hardship they 
 underwent. 
 
 It belongs of right to General Grant to tell the story of that 
 event, for in no case during the war did he more clearly show his 
 title to be called a great general, nor did he elsewhere more fully 
 exhibit all the qualities which proved him to be a great soldier. 
 
 If General Grant had never performed any other military act 
 during the war, the capture of Vicksburg alone, with all the cir 
 cumstances attending the siege, would have entitled him to the 
 highest renown. He had an enemy to deal with of greater force, 
 and protected by defenses never surpassed in the art of war. 
 
200 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I saw, myself (at Sevastopol), the great strongholds of the 
 Malakoff tower and the Eedan the day after they were taken by a 
 combined army of one hundred thousand men ; and these strong 
 holds, which have become famous in ballad and story, never in any 
 way compared with the defenses of Vicksburg, which looked as if a 
 thousand Titans had been put to work to make these heights un 
 assailable. I am told that there were fifty miles of intrenchments 
 thrown up one within the other. I don t know how true it is. 
 
 The hills above, with their frowning tops standing in defiance, 
 were enough to deter a foe without having intrenchments bristling 
 with cannon and manned by the hardiest troops in the Confeder 
 acy. 
 
 After it was all over, and General Grant could see the con 
 quered city lying at his feet, he could well afford to laugh at his 
 traducers, who were doing all they could to hamper him by send 
 ing telegrams to the seat of Government questioning his fitness for 
 so important a command. 
 
 If those who lent themselves to such things could be followed 
 through the war, it would be found that they never made a mark, 
 put them where you would ; nor did they achieve any good for the 
 Government. 
 
 That was a happy Fourth of July when the Confederate flag 
 came down at Vicksburg and the stars and stripes went up in its 
 place, while Meade s force at Gettysburg was driving Lee s army 
 back to Richmond tattered and torn. 
 
 That day, so glorious in the annals of our history, lost nothing 
 by the two brilliant events which were added to our fame, and 
 made it still more dear to the heart of every true American. 
 
 When the American flag was hoisted on the ramparts of Vicks 
 burg, my flag-ship and every vessel of the fleet steamed up or down 
 to the levee before the city. We discerned a dust in the distance, 
 and in a few moments General Grant, at the head of nearly all his 
 generals with their staffs, rode up to the gangway, and, dismount 
 ing, came on board. That was a happy meeting a great hand 
 shaking and general congratulation. 
 
 I opened all my wine-lockers which contained only Catawba 
 on this occasion. It disappeared down the parched throats which 
 had tasted nothing for some time but bad water. Yet it exhila 
 rated that crowd as weak wine never did before. 
 
 There was one man there who preserved the same quiet de 
 meanor he always bore, whether in adversity or in victory, and that 
 
GENERAL GRANT S STUPENDOUS FEAT. 201 
 
 was General Grant. No one, to see him sitting there with that 
 calm exterior amid all the jollity, and without any staff, would 
 ever have taken him for the great general who had accomplished 
 one of the most stupendous military feats on record. 
 
 There was a quiet satisfaction in his face that could not be con 
 cealed, but he behaved on that occasion as if nothing of importance 
 had occurred. 
 
 General Grant was the only one in that assemblage who did not 
 touch the simple wine offered him ; he contented himself with a 
 cigar ; and let me say here that this was his habit during all the 
 time he commanded before Vicksburg, though the same detractors 
 who made false representations of him in military matters, misrep 
 resented him also in the matter above alluded to. 
 
 For my part, I was more than pleased to see Vicksburg fall, for 
 I realized my proudest hopes in beholding the great Father of 
 Waters opened to the sea, and lived to see all my predictions ful 
 filled. I was one of the first who urged that all the power of the 
 Government should be exerted to get possession of this stronghold, 
 and I gave my whole attention during the siege to bring about 
 this most desirable event. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 A CHIEF OF STAFF AKD A CHIEF COOK DEMOCRATIC MEETING IK 
 THE BACKWOODS OF "EGYPT" A JOHtf GILPI^ EACE. 
 
 AFTER the fall of Vicksburg I proceeded to Mound City, Illi 
 nois, to superintend affairs on the Tennessee and Cumberland Riv 
 ers, and to increase the size of the Mississippi squadron, which had 
 diminished in numbers since the commencement of the siege. 
 
 It would be as difficult to do full justice to the navy for its per 
 sistent efforts to put an end to the siege of Vicksburg as it would 
 be to the army for its fortitude amid privations and dangers and 
 its discipline maintained during so peculiar a condition of affairs. 
 
 I am sure that General Grant will with pleasure testify to the 
 zeal with which the naval forces before Vicksburg at all times co 
 operated with the army. 
 
202 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 On my arrival at Mound City, I found the place under water, 
 owing to a rise in the Mississippi and its tributaries, and we might 
 truly be said to live among the trees. 
 
 Quite a controversy was prevailing with regard to rank between 
 the officers of the line and staff, and Captain Pennock, chief of 
 staff, had his hands full in trying to reconcile the numerous diffi 
 culties and misunderstandings. In fact, I found that I had arrived 
 just in time to prevent a regular row at the station. 
 
 The surgeon of the fleet, Dr. P., was one of the cleverest of 
 men personally and professionally, and afforded a fresh illustra 
 tion of the old saying that the most valuable goods are generally 
 put up in the smallest packages. The fleet-surgeon was of a social 
 disposition, and a favorite with everybody, but woe to any one who 
 ran counter to him on the subject of rank, or invaded what he con 
 sidered his rights. He would get out his brace of Derringers, and 
 whoever had, affronted him must make the amende honorable or 
 fight. 
 
 I had fitted up a large steamboat, captured from the enemy, as 
 a hospital-ship to follow the squadron on the eve of a battle and 
 take on board the wounded. The Eed Rover was fitted with every 
 comfort, and poor Jack, when sick and wounded, was cared for in a 
 style never before dreamed of in the navy. All these arrangements 
 were made under the supervision of the fleet-surgeon, who had 
 full charge of the vessel when completed, but at the same time she 
 had a commanding officer, an old steamboat man who maintained 
 discipline among the crew. 
 
 I had been intimate with Dr. P. from the time when I was 
 a youngster, and he took advantage of this intimacy to come to me 
 at all hours with complaints, and if I did not succeed in pacify 
 ing him in one way, I usually did in another. 
 
 One day the doctor came to me. "Admiral," said he, "these 
 fellows around here whom I rank all to pieces are running their 
 rigs on me about my command, and laughing at me because I can t 
 wear a pennant. Now, sir, I want you to give me a flag to wear. 
 I am next in rank to you, and I think it hard I should be ridiculed 
 by these youngsters." 
 
 "Why, Doctor," I replied, "that would be an unheard-of thing 
 to give the fleet-surgeon a flag ; as it is, you are enjoying unusual 
 authority, being actually in command of a vessel of war, for the 
 captain of the Red Rover is directed to obey all your commands, 
 notwithstanding the Regulations of the Navy provide that medical 
 
THE FLEET-SURGEON WANTS A FLAG TO WEAR. 203 
 
 officers shall exercise no military authority. If I give you a flag, 
 the line officers will think I have gone crazy. " 
 
 " Oh, no, Admiral," said the doctor ; " if you grant my request 
 no one will think anything of it. It will increase my prestige. 
 You know this is a peculiar kind of a service ; give me a flag, and 
 my happiness will be complete." 
 
 " Well, Doctor," I said, "I will think about it." 
 
 " Now there s another matter, Admiral," said the doctor ; " I 
 think the Red Hover ought to have a gun to protect herself in case 
 of attack." 
 
 " But," I rejoined, " hospital vessels are held sacred in all civ 
 ilized countries, and no one will trouble you ; besides, the Mississippi 
 is open its whole length, and there are no guerrillas along the banks." 
 
 "Yes, sir," replied the doctor, "but I might want to fire a sig 
 nal-gun, and I might as well carry a thirty-pounder so that I can be 
 ready to fight and make signals too." 
 
 "Well, I will consider the matter," I said, and the little doctor 
 went off delighted. 
 
 In three days I had a flag of yellow bunting with an anchor in 
 the center for the hospital ship, to be carried at the middle pole, 
 and a thirty-pounder rifle for the bow. 
 
 The doctor was delighted when he went on deck one morning 
 and found his flag streaming from the pole, while the stars and 
 stripes floated at the stern and the jack ornamented the bow. He 
 immediately put on his full-dress coat and called upon me to thank 
 me, little dreaming that his thirty-pounder rifle was made of wood. 
 
 The doctor commenced immediately to claim increased rank, 
 and for the next two weeks there was a constant controversy be 
 tween him and the commanding officers of the gun-boats. 
 
 Although these difficulties were not brought officially before 
 me, yet I heard of them, and was thinking of some way to remedy 
 them, when an amusing circumstance occurred which brought the 
 fleet-surgeon down from his high horse. 
 
 One day the doctor dined with me, and, as he loved his glass of 
 wine, he was feeling very dignified when he got up to go on board 
 his vessel, for the regulations required that no one should be absent 
 from his command after sunset. 
 
 As the fleet-surgeon passed over the side the sentry presented 
 arms, the officer of the deck touched his hat, and the doctor 
 straightened up with the consciousness that he was now a person of 
 increased importance. 
 
204 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 As he walked up the levee he met a sailor who had evidently 
 been indulging in the flowing bowl, for he pitched about like a ship 
 in a gale of wind and took up the whole of the roadway, finally 
 running afoul of the little doctor, which brought them both up 
 " all standing," as the nautical phrase is. 
 
 " Whaz the mazzer with you ?" said the sailor ; "ain t you got 
 nary pilot aboard ? " 
 
 " What s the matter with you ? " roared the doctor ; " can t you 
 see where you are going ? " 
 
 " Yes," replied the man, " see well nuff, an , d n it, you get out 
 of my way or I ll knock hole tween wind and wasser." 
 
 ff Why don t you touch your hat to me, you scoundrel ? " said 
 the doctor. 
 
 " Touch my hat to you ? " he said ; " wha for ? " 
 
 " Don t you see my uniform ? don t you know who I am ? " 
 
 "No, my little man," said the sailor ; " who the devil are you 
 anyhow ? " 
 
 " I am the fleet-surgeon of the Mississippi squadron ! " 
 
 " thunder ! " exclaimed the other ; " well, little fellow, you ve 
 got a good berth an you d better hole on to it ; but I m a huckle 
 berry above that persimmon, cause I m the chief cook of the Mis 
 sissippi Squadron, an you can t come any of yer chief surgeon over 
 me," and with that he staggered off, grumbling, " Chief surgeon, 
 indeed, expectin chief cook touch hat to him whas the world 
 comin to ? " 
 
 The doctor gazed on the fellow as he tumbled on board the 
 flag-ship, and if he had had one of his Derringers handy I fear it 
 would have been all up with the chief cook ; but, as he hadn t, he 
 returned to his own vessel a wiser man. He had eaten too many 
 of the chief cook s dinners not to know the importance of that func 
 tionary, so he didn t mention the occurrence. 
 
 But there is always some one around to pick up a good joke and 
 tell it, so I was soon informed of what had happened. 
 
 Next day, when several officers were dining with me, among 
 
 them Dr. P , I told the story of the chief surgeon and the chief 
 
 cook, and no one laughed heartier than the doctor. From that time 
 forth he was less exacting on the subject of rank, though occasion 
 ally he would talk of using his Derringers. 
 
 The doctor was a strong Democrat and a great politician, though 
 there was not a more loyal officer in the service. He claimed that 
 there were as many Democrats as Kepublicans in both the army and 
 
DEMOCRATIC MEETING IN "EGYPT," ILLINOIS. 205 
 
 the navy, in which I believe he was not far out of the way. In 
 fact, many persons stigmatized as " Copperheads " during the war 
 were really opposed to the Rebellion, yet such was the morbid con 
 dition of the public mind that neither party could see any virtue 
 in the other, and the wonder is that the civil war was ever termi 
 nated until, like the Kilkenny cats, both parties had been devoured. 
 
 I never encouraged officers to discuss politics at all, and, as a 
 rule, officers of the navy were exempt from political bias, and con 
 sidered that it was their duty to heartily support the Government 
 in any measures which might be taken to preserve the Union. This 
 was my view of the subject, and I tried to impress it upon others, 
 and succeeded in excluding politics from the mess-table. 
 
 But I could not control the fleet-surgeon, who would ride ten 
 miles on horseback to attend a political meeting, in which he would 
 denounce the Administration and maintain that without the Demo 
 cratic soldiers and Democratic money the Union cause would be 
 hopeless. 
 
 With such views, expressed in a very forcible manner, the little 
 doctor was likely to get into trouble, and I received one or two com 
 munications from Washington about him which made me fear that 
 I might lose his services unless he became more guarded in his 
 utterances. 
 
 Mound City, where the naval station was situated, is in that 
 part of Illinois known as "Egypt," and the condition of the rural 
 population in that quarter was rather primitive. 
 
 "A great Democratic meeting" was to be held on a certain day 
 a few miles from Mound City, and the little doctor resolved to be 
 present. He therefore provided himself with a speech, borrowed a 
 racing mare from me, and, clothed in his uniform, set out for the 
 scene of action. 
 
 There was a large assemblage of persons of the genuine peanut- 
 and-molasses-candy stripe, and, when the fleet-surgeon hove in sight 
 on his racing mare, he was received with loud applause. 
 
 Speaking was fairly under way at the time, and a blood-and- 
 thunder orator was laying down what he affirmed to be the true 
 principles of Democracy, when the doctor interrupted him, calling 
 out, "You don t know what Democracy means as laid down by 
 Thomas Jefferson ! " 
 
 "Who in thunder are you?" said the orator. "You re too 
 small a man to be a Democrat ; we want fellows big enough to 
 vote." 
 
06 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 The doctor felt for his pistol, but, fortunately, he had left it on 
 shipboard, so, shaking his fist at the orator, he sang out, "Wait till 
 I get the floor, and I will strip off all your borrowed plumes and 
 show you up in your true colors ! " 
 
 "Let the little fellow speak !" cried out a dozen voices ; "let s 
 hear what true Democratic principles are," and a large man picked 
 the doctor up and dumped him upon the platform. 
 
 "There, now, my little man," said his bearer, "let s hear a true 
 exposition of Democratic principles. You ain t much to look at, 
 but I ll bet you know more about Democracy than any one in this 
 crowd." 
 
 The doctor did not require any urging ; such an opportunity 
 did not occur every day, and he at once commenced his speech : 
 
 " Fellow-citizens ! you see before you a man who has never failed 
 to maintain the true principles of Democracy under all circum 
 stances " 
 
 "Louder! louder!" shouted the crowd; "let s see the little 
 man. He s got a heap of wisdom inside that brass-bound coat of 
 his ! Who is he, anyhow ? Tom Thumb ! Daniel Lambert ! " and 
 so on, until the doctor grew quite bewildered. 
 
 An empty hogshead was brought forward and the doctor placed 
 thereon, in order that he might be visible to his audience. 
 
 "Now go ahead !" they shouted ; "don t be bashful ; don t be 
 afraid ; nobody will hurt you ! " 
 
 "If I had my pistols here I d show you who s afraid," said the 
 surgeon, whose dander was now up. At which the crowd gave him 
 three cheers that made the welkin ring. 
 
 The doctor soon regained his composure, and commenced again, 
 " Fellow-citizens ! you see before you " and suddenly the head 
 of the hogshead gave way and the orator disappeared from 
 view. 
 
 He was fished out mad as a hornet, while the crowd shouted : 
 "Get another hogshead ! lift him on your shoulders ! let s hear all 
 about the true Democratic principles," etc. But the doctor had 
 seen enough of these wild cats, as he called them, and would not 
 say another word. He mounted his mare and started for home, a 
 sadder and wiser man than when he left it. 
 
 Just after he was fairly under way a large man on horseback, in 
 the uniform of a colonel, overtook him and entered into conversa 
 tion, and they jogged along quite pleasantly. 
 
 Pretty soon there was a clattering of horses hoofs behind them, 
 
A RACE THAT DISTANCED JOHN GILPIN S. 207 
 
 and they beheld the blood-and-thunder orator, mounted on a big 
 roan horse, coming at a dead run and shouting like mad. 
 
 Both the mare and the colonel s horse pricked up their ears and 
 became so restless that it required the utmost exertions of their 
 riders to hold them. The orator, as he came up, gave the doctor s 
 mare a sharp cut with his whip, singing out, " Come on, little man, 
 let s see if you can ride as well as you can talk ! " 
 
 The mare started as if shot from a gun, the colonel s horse started 
 after the mare, and all three dashed off at a rate of speed that would 
 have distanced John Gilpin. 
 
 Crowds of people were met along the road, all going to the 
 Democratic meeting, and all drew out of the way to let the racers 
 go by. 
 
 The doctor s trousers had worked up above his knees, displaying 
 his red flannel drawers in all their beauty, and the wayfarers shouted 
 lustily, "Go it, little red-legs!" "Go it, Colonel!" "Go it, 
 Bully Bludger!" 
 
 Suddenly a bridge hove in sight which the soldiers were repair 
 ing. They had removed the planks from one side, leaving a narrow 
 passage for travelers. The mare took the lead, never deviating from 
 a straight course, and with a flying leap cleared the opening ; but, 
 alas ! for the little doctor ; he lost his seat and fell plump into the 
 swamp ! The other riders, more fortunate or more expert in the 
 management of their steeds, kept the side road and went flying on 
 after the mare, which, relieved of the weight of her rider, ran faster 
 than ever, and reached the gangway of the Black Hawk covered 
 with foam. 
 
 The doctor had eight miles to walk, his uniform was covered with 
 mud, and altogether he was so battered that his friends would hardly 
 have recognized him. 
 
 Next day I sent for him to come and dine with me, and he ap 
 peared, looking as neat as usual. 
 
 In the course of conversation I remarked, " How are politics 
 getting along nowadays ? " 
 
 The doctor looked at me suspiciously. " Well, sir," he replied, 
 " I have come to the conclusion that politics in Egypt are a farce ; 
 they are whisky politics altogether. I haven t seen a man in this 
 county who understands Democratic principles as laid down by Jef 
 ferson ; in fact, I don t think they are understood anywhere outside 
 of Maryland ; but, sir, if you ll sell me that mare of yours I ll prom 
 ise to give up politics altogether." Then the doctor told me the 
 
208 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 whole story of his escapade, for he couldn t keep anything from me 
 to save his life. 
 
 The reader may wonder what I was doing with a racing mare. 
 I had quite a stud of horses on board the flag-ship, and they were 
 almost indispensable at times for sending messages to army head 
 quarters, etc. 
 
 We generally tied up to the bank instead of anchoring in the 
 stream, and made little use of boats. 
 
 The fleet-surgeon kept to his resolution and attended no more 
 political meetings while in the West, but after the war, when he 
 had returned to Maryland, he became again an ardent politician, 
 and at one time attempted to run for Congress, which he insisted 
 was his legitimate sphere. The doctor was a credit to his corps, 
 and by his death I lost an inestimable friend. 
 
 There are other amusing incidents in the doctor s career with 
 which he was wont to delight his friends, for no one told a story 
 better than he did, but my limits forbid their insertion here. 
 
 CHAPTEE XIX. 
 
 SHERMAN STAETS FROM MEMPHIS TO GO TO CHATTANOOGA FINDS 
 A THIRTY-POUND SHOT IN HIS STOMACH THE NAVY RELIEVE 
 HIM BRIDGES AND FERRY-BOATS IN ABUNDANCE REACHES 
 CHATTANOOGA IN TIME. 
 
 ABOUT the last of November, 1863, I was standing on the upper 
 deck of the Black Hawk, at Mound City, when I saw a large steamer 
 coming up the river. She stopped abreast of the flag-ship, and the 
 captain hailed to inquire if I was on board. 
 
 When satisfied on that point the captain informed me that he was 
 just from Memphis, and that General Sherman had left there to 
 join General Grant at Chattanooga, Tenn., with thirty-six thousand 
 men. 
 
 I was surprised at this intelligence, as I had not heard that such 
 a move was contemplated, as Grant and Sherman were accustomed 
 to inform me of any movement they were about to make where 
 the services of the navy would be required, and in this case the 
 navy might be of great use. 
 
SHERMAN ON THE BANKS OF THE TENNESSEE. 209 
 
 I questioned the captain of the steamer closely, and was satisfied 
 that his statement was correct. I immediately issued orders for 
 a certain number of vessels to be ready to move at daylight next 
 morning ; and I suggested to the army quartermaster the advisa 
 bility of sending some transports loaded with --stores along with the 
 gun-boats, in case -General Sherman should require them. 
 
 Colonel McAllister, who was an energetic man, went immedi 
 ately to work, and by daylight his vessels were ready, loaded with 
 everything an army could require. 
 
 When General Fremont commanded in the "West he had built 
 a number of flat-bottomed barges for the transportation of troops, 
 one hundred and fifty feet in length and twenty-five in width. The 
 value of these flat-boats did not seem to be appreciated, and they 
 appear to have been little used. They would break adrift from their 
 fastenings at Louisville, or Cincinnati, or wherever they were kept, 
 and come floating down the Ohio, and, as I had tugs patrolling the 
 river night and day, they picked up this flotsam and jetsam and 
 brought it into port, where it was appropriated to naval uses. In 
 this way we acquired six or eight barges admirably suited for flying 
 bridges, by which an army could cross a river, and three or four of 
 them were now prepared to go up in tow of the gun-boats. 
 
 I also sent along a large ferry-boat that we happened to have on 
 hand, and omitted nothing that I thought would be wanted in cross 
 ing an army over a river. 
 
 The whole expedition was placed under command of Captain 
 Phelps, and he was directed to lose no time in reaching luka, or 
 "Muscle Shoals/ where it was likely Sherman would attempt to 
 cross the Tennessee Kiver, expecting to find low water and an easy 
 fording place. 
 
 I selected the lightest-draught gun-boats I had, some of them not 
 drawing over twelve inches of water in popular language, " they 
 could run on a heavy dew." 
 
 Captain Phelps worked manfully to force his steamers over the 
 numerous shoals he encountered. The vessels were fitted with long 
 spars on their bows, and when they came to a shoal the spars would 
 be fixed firmly in the ground, the vessel forced ahead, her bow 
 lifted, and she would spring ten or twelve feet in advance, and this 
 manoeuvre would be repeated until the shoal was passed. 
 
 On the third day, however, there was no further necessity for 
 "jumping," for the water begun to rise, indicating a freshet above. 
 
 I had received due notice, by certain signs, that the river was 
 14 
 
210 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 rising, and I felt sure that Sherman would have difficulty in getting 
 his army across. The general made forced marches, but, when his 
 advance arrived at the banks of the Tennessee, they found the shoals 
 covered with water and the river rising rapidly. 
 
 Sherman made several attempts to cross his wagons, but the 
 water was too deep and the current too strong. Then he tried 
 bridge-building, but without success the river was now "boom 
 ing " and rising at the rate of twenty inches an hour. 
 
 General Sherman s experience told him that there was no hope 
 of getting across that river for many days to come, and the situa 
 tion was getting rather embarrassing. 
 
 He had started under the impression that he would reach the 
 river at a time when the water would be at its lowest point, and he 
 would be able to cross it dry-shod. But who can tell the vagaries 
 of the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers ? They may be dry one 
 day, with the prospect of so continuing for weeks, and in two hours 
 the water may be carrying everything before it. 
 
 General Sherman thus found himself checkmated. To use his 
 own words, he was very much disgusted with everything, and, as 
 nothing could be done, he rode back to his headquarters, which 
 had been established two or three miles from the river, threw him 
 self upon his camp-cot, and "felt as if he had a thirty-two-pound 
 shot in his stomach." 
 
 I can imagine what his feelings must have been on the eve of a 
 great battle where his presence was expected and he unable to move. 
 A certain combination could not be made, owing to circumstances 
 over which he had no control, and yet the combination might have 
 been made perfect if I had been given a week s notice of the in 
 tended move by General Grant. 
 
 I presume that Grant thought Sherman would notify me, but 
 it all turned out right in the end, although the expedition came 
 near ending in disappointment. 
 
 As Sherman lay on his camp-cot, trying to digest the thirty-two- 
 pound shot which he felt in the pit of his stomach, he heard tho 
 clatter of horses hoofs, and, looking from his tent, saw half a dozen 
 cavalrymen coming toward him at full speed waving their caps. 
 
 The general didn t know whether the river had suddenly fallen 
 or whether the fairies had built a bridge across the stream, but he 
 felt that something good had happened, and was no longer troubled 
 with the thirty-two-pound shot when the soldiers informed him that 
 the admiral, with all the gun-boats, was coming up the river. 
 
SHERMAN AT CHATTANOOGA. 211 
 
 The general forthwith mounted his horse, and arrived at the 
 river-bank in time to see Captain Phelps s squadron of fourteen ves 
 sels coming around a hend. 
 
 The soldiers had mistaken Phelps s divisional commander s flag 
 for that of the admiral. However, it made no difference, for I was 
 there in spirit, and no douht there was many a man in Sherman s 
 camp who would have appreciated the sentiment of General Oster- 
 haus s aide-de-camp "Effery soltier ought ter garry a gun-poat 
 mit his bocket ! " 
 
 There was great rejoicing in Sherman s army at the arrival of 
 the gun- boats, the ferry-boat, and the barges, and Sherman was so 
 glad to see Phelps that he almost shook his arm off. No time waa 
 lost in utilizing the material sent for the use of the army, and a 
 bridge was thrown across the stream which defied the swift current. 
 The ferry-boat and the smaller gun-boats lent their aid to transport 
 the soldiers across the river, and in thirty-six hours Sherman and 
 his men were on the other side, marching to join Grant, and re 
 joicing that there were such things as gun - boats, although the 
 army did once have to march after them in the Yazoo country to 
 keep the rebels from filling up the ditches with their debris. 
 
 Thus it was that the army and the navy in the West were a 
 compensation to each other, and though at one time the soldiers 
 might think "Effery soltier ought to garry a gun-poat mit his 
 bocket," at another the sailors would have an opportunity of be 
 lieving that every gun-boat should carry a regiment of soldiers in 
 the foretop. In fighting on inland waters each was a necessity to 
 the other. 
 
 Sherman reached Chattanooga in time to take a prominent 
 part in the victory, and, when it is recollected how desperately the 
 Confederates contested the ground on that day, we may properly 
 inquire, What would have been the result if Sherman s splendid 
 army had been delayed longer in crossing that river ? 
 
 "Old Tecumseh" did not mention this little circumstance in 
 his " Memoirs," and no doubt forgot it amid the multiplicity of events 
 that were occurring, for there was no one who more thoroughly 
 appreciated the alertness 5 of the navy in giving effective assistance 
 to the army at all times, or who was more prompt to give it credit 
 for its services. 
 
 Yet it was too much the custom in the West to ignore the ser 
 vices of the gun-boats, which, at the beginning of the civil war, had 
 been attached to the army, and were at that period under the im- 
 
212 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 mediate direction of the commanding general. And while such an 
 arrangement is a proper one, where, under the circumstances, the 
 navy must be an adjunct to the army, yet the officers and men of 
 the navy should always have full credit for the service they per 
 form. 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 WHO STAETED THE BED RIVER EXPEDITION ? JAPHET IN SEARCH 
 OF A FATHER GENERAL A. J. SMITH MAKES A FORCED MARCH 
 OF THIRTY-TWO MILES CAPTURES FORT DE RUSSY SECOND 
 CAPTURE OF ALEXANDRIA GENERAL BANKS ARRIVES IN HIS 
 HEADQUARTERS BOAT, BLACK HAWK CHAMPAGNE AND COT 
 TON BAGGING A DERELICT HOSPITAL STEWARD A REVIEW OF 
 
 "RAGGED GUERRILLAS" A. J. SMITH S SOLDIERS CRITICISE 
 
 BANKS S ARMY TEARS WON T MAKE SOUP, CHICKEN WILL 
 I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF ON MY HORSE MRS. HOLMES 
 GIVES THE ADMIRAL A GOOD CHARACTER MRS. HOLMES S 
 STORY ABOUT THE COTTON TRADE THE NAVY BECOMES DEMOR 
 ALIZED BLOCKED OUT AT SHREVEPORT RIVER GUNBOATS 
 TURN BACK IN THEIR TRACKS BANKS DEFEATED THE NAVY 
 DEFEATS GENERAL GREEN S ARMY THE GENERAL S HEAD 
 SHOT OFF A HORSE WITH A HEADLESS RIDER SAFE ARRIVAL 
 AT GRAND ECORE BANKS BORN UNDER A LUCKY STAR. 
 
 No one ever knew who started the expedition generally called 
 the Banks Expedition up the Red River, or what its object was. 
 No one cared to father it after it was over, for it was one of the 
 most disastrous affairs that occurred during the war. 
 
 It was like Japhet in search of a father. It was undertaken at a 
 season of the year when it could not possibly succeed if it was the 
 intention that any number of transports should accompany it, as 
 well as gun-boats. 
 
 Sherman had proposed to me once or twice an excursion into 
 the Red River country, and I had agreed to go whenever he could 
 get ready ; and for the purpose I went down to Natchez to meet 
 him, but he had to make a move upon Meridian, and that, for the 
 moment, put a stop to the expedition. 
 
 Sherman was well posted in all that related to the Red River 
 
THE RED RIVER EXPEDITION. 213 
 
 its rises and falls, and the season of the year when it would be best 
 to undertake an expedition up it. He had, for a long time before 
 the war, been president of a Southern college located on this river 
 right opposite to Alexandria, and, having the faculty of observing 
 everything that came under his notice, did not fail to make him 
 self acquainted with all the vagaries of the stream, which is one of 
 the most uncertain in the South sometimes most turbulent, and 
 again running along so mildly that it seemed to have no life in it 
 at all. The Red River is the most treacherous of all rivers ; there 
 is no counting upon it, according to the rules which govern other 
 streams, and when you would bet your all that there would be a 
 rise, ten to one the water would be lower than ever. Therefore it 
 would require great judgment to properly enter on an expedition 
 in that quarter if vessels of any size were to accompany it. 
 
 When I met Sherman at Natchez he said, emphatically, that it 
 would be useless to attempt an expedition then with any hopes of 
 success, and that we would have to defer it until late in the season ; 
 and, as I had the most implicit confidence in his judgment, I was 
 satisfied to wait. 
 
 We did not propose simply an expedition to Alexandria ; that 
 I had already undertaken by myself, and had found no difficulty 
 in capturing the place. 
 
 Just at the time when Sherman had given up the idea of going 
 on an expedition to Shreveport, General Banks proposed to him 
 and to me that we should join him in an expedition into the Red 
 River country. Sherman went down the river to communicate with 
 him on the subject, and informed him that he could not go him 
 self, but would lend him ten thousand men, under General A. J. 
 Smith, and I also consented to accompany the expedition with a 
 large force of gun-boats. I objected at first to the arrangement on 
 the ground that there was no chance of success, owing to the con 
 dition of the river, but Banks urged that if I did not go, and there 
 should be a failure, the blame would be mine ; so I reluctantly ac 
 companied him. 
 
 I am not going to write an account of that expedition ; a full 
 and graphic history of it would make a large book by itself, and a 
 very interesting one at that. Perhaps the general in his declining 
 years may think it worth his while to use the talents he is known 
 to possess in an eminent degree to write a history of that cam 
 paign. He has never yet made a full report on the subject to the 
 Government, and all that I have ever seen from him in relation to 
 
214: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the matter is his evidence before the Congressional Committee on 
 the war, which was not characterized by that fairness to the navy 
 which should belong to a general in the army. 
 
 I did myself spend a whole winter in collecting notes of infor 
 mation and in writing a strictly true and complete account of the 
 Banks campaign, compiled from such public documents as I could 
 obtain, from letters received from army officers connected with the 
 expedition, and from my own observations. It will keep, however, 
 and I don t propose to make any extracts from it here. I may 
 attempt to show how faithfully the navy performed its part of the 
 operations, but I don t know that I shall do much of that even. 
 " Good wine needs no bush " is an old and good saying, and I 
 think that the navy had very little cause to exculpate itself on any 
 occasion when it co-operated with the army, and never entertained 
 a difference of opinion when it came in contact with regular offi 
 cers. 
 
 As soon as General A. J. Smith was ready to move, we started off 
 together down the Mississippi for the mouth of the Red River, and 
 ascended that stream as high as Bayou Teche, where General Smith 
 landed and proposed to march to Fort De Russy, now rebuilding, 
 while the gun-boats were to proceed up the river, remove the ob 
 structions, and attack the fort. Since I was there last the Confed 
 erates had repaired the works and had made considerable additions 
 to them, while they had also barricaded the river at the forts with 
 a heavy timber-raft, bolted together with iron, and six feet in 
 thickness. It was a formidable obstruction, and report said it 
 would completely bar the way. 
 
 The river below was also full of obstructions, such as heavy 
 piles driven down into the bed of the river. These latter covered 
 a space two hundred yards in length, and looked as if calculated to 
 keep out any number of vessels. The upper part of the piling had 
 caught hundreds of logs and held them, and, if we had not arrived 
 when we did, the river would have been blocked all the way to 
 Alexandria. When I first saw these lower obstructions I began to 
 think that the enemy had blocked the game on us, and how aston 
 ished General Smith would be when he arrived in front of the forts 
 and found no gun-boats to help him ! It would be mortifying to 
 me, and might be disastrous to him ; but, after looking at the 
 obstructions carefully for a few minutes, I said, " Bosh ! to think 
 of these fellows trying to block out a party who had been on the 
 Deer Creek expedition in the Yazoo country, who had pulled up 
 
GENERAL A. J. SMITH S FORCED MARCH. 215 
 
 Titanic trees by the roots and removed giant oaks from their 
 paths when cut down to stop their progress ; who forced their way 
 up through seventy-five miles of logs, canebrakes, and small wil 
 lows under a hot fire from sharp-shooters ! Why, this is simply 
 silly, and shows how these Confederates waste their time to no pur 
 pose. What indefatigable energy ! What a waste of money and 
 horse-power ! Blessed is the power of steam, by which we can 
 undo, in a few hours, the labor of years ; and blessed is the edict of 
 the gods, that whom they wish to destroy make idiots of them 
 selves/ or words to that effect ! " 
 
 What folly for any one to attempt to keep a naval force out of 
 harbors and rivers by torpedoes and barricades when they have not 
 heavy forts to protect the obstructions, or a superior naval force ! 
 You might as well try to obstruct Niagara Falls with tooth-picks 
 or quill pop-guns. 
 
 When I had made up my mind about these obstructions which 
 looked so formidable, I simply gave the order, " Clear that 
 away ! " 
 
 Who that has not been to sea knows the devices of sailors for 
 removing this kind of stuff ? A timber-hitch with a hawser around 
 a pile, the hawser belayed to the bitt-heads, and half a dozen turns 
 back with the wheels, or screw, and the whole thing is done ; and 
 in this way a dozen gun-boats went to work, and in two hours 
 undid the work of many months. 
 
 The piles were pulled out of the mud faster than dentists pull 
 teeth, and with no complaints from the patient. Then came the 
 rush of the floating logs. We had a short tussle to send them out 
 into the middle of the stream, where they drifted on until they 
 were emptied into the Mississippi, to be carried by that stream 
 down to New Orleans, where they would furnish fuel enough for 
 the poor population of that city for a whole winter. 
 
 But the delay of that work, short as it was, proved fatal to our 
 hopes and expectations of being the captors of Fort De Russy. 
 
 We put on all the steam we could carry, but, when we got with 
 in two miles of the place, we heard the sound of heavy musketry 
 firing, as well as of field-guns, and we knew that General Smith 
 was there before us. 
 
 He made a forced march of thirty-two miles one of such 
 marches as only his men could make and, when we turned the 
 point with the gun-boats a mile from the heavy works, General 
 Smith s men were hotly engaged, and ten thousand of the best 
 
216 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 soldiers I ever saw were pouring in a deadly fire upon three thou 
 sand who had sought the shelter of the earth-works. 
 
 It was wonderful to see how our men would advance from tree 
 to tree, covering themselves as they went along, until they got 
 within fifty yards of the enemy s works and almost surrounded 
 them. This was the condition of affairs when the flag-ship Benton 
 poked her nose around the point and opened on the enemy with 
 her famous bow-battery. They waited for no more, but retreated 
 through ways known to themselves, and they were not out of the 
 works before Smith s men, headed by General Mower, were inside 
 and had taken possession. 
 
 The victory, of course, belonged to the soldiers, though, no 
 doubt, the sudden appearance of the gun-boats, when the enemy 
 thought them completely barred out, accelerated the latter s retreat. 
 
 We might have done considerable execution among their ranks 
 while they were retreating, but, as General Smith s troops were 
 pursuing them and it was impossible to tell which from which 
 in the melee, we contented ourselves with looking on. We did 
 hope to have an old-fashioned gun-boat and fort fight, and if this 
 place had been fully manned it would have been "worthy of our 
 guns." 
 
 But we lost no time in regrets. Now came the question as to 
 getting rid of the heavy floating structures about the fort. Here 
 the power of steam was triumphant again ; three or four gun-boats 
 put their noses against one end of it, and, opening their steam 
 valves, pushed it right up the stream. If the projectors were look 
 ing on from some secret hiding-place, they must have been morti 
 fied. The construction of this peculiar water-gate cost the Con 
 federates seventy thousand dollars. I gave ifc to the poor of the 
 neighborhood for fuel, and in the course of a year very little of it 
 was left. 
 
 Then we pushed on to Alexandria, General Mower accompany 
 ing us in transports with four thousand men, while General Smith 
 remained behind to destroy Fort De Russy. He said he was deter 
 mined to show these Confederates that, notwithstanding their in 
 genuity in building the strongest forts in the world, he wouldn t 
 leave one stone on another. He got enough of it in three days, 
 and, though at the end of that time he had somewhat changed the 
 aspect of the works, their defensive power was as strong as ever ; but, 
 finding that white soldiers could not compete with the negro labor 
 used in their construction, he left the defaced works as a monument 
 
SECOND CAPTURE OF ALEXANDRIA. 217 
 
 of the industry and energy of the Confederates, who, if they had 
 only applied the same amount of labor on the cotton-fields as they 
 did to their fortifications and obstructions, would have been the 
 richest people in the world. But really, when we come to consider 
 the herculean labors performed by the Southern people to maintain 
 the cause which they considered so sacred, we can not withhold our 
 admiration of their ability as soldiers. 
 
 Without doubt, they established a new era in military engineer 
 ing which none have ever excelled, and on a scale only equaled by 
 the works of the Titans of old. I am myself somewhat inclined 
 to the belief that they secretly imported a lot of those traditional 
 characters to assist them in their labors, but that they came in the 
 guise of that important person generally known as the contra 
 band. 
 
 We took quiet possession cf Alexandria, established posts in 
 and about the city, and settled down quietly to wait for General 
 Banks and his army. The latter was marching up by way of the 
 Opelousas road under the immediate command of General Franklin. 
 
 Three or four days after our arrival, General Banks came up in 
 a steamer called the Black Hawk, which he used as headquarters. 
 She was filled up pretty much with cotton bagging, rope, cham 
 pagne and brandy, and cotton speculators. How the latter got on 
 board has nothing to do with these reminiscences, and I don t care 
 to surmise ; I mention it merely as an incident. 
 
 General Banks s army had not arrived, and General Smith s 
 troops were the only soldiers to be seen about the town. 
 
 When General Smith joined me at the mouth of the river with 
 his division he had, I believe, just come off a long march. The 
 clothes of his men were worn and faded, their shoes were patched, 
 they had no tents to sleep under, though they may have had blank 
 ets. Their tents were on the transports, and the general forbade 
 their being used without his orders. I recollect hearing him de 
 nounce some officer as a " Miss Nancy kind of a fellow " because 
 he slept under a shelter-tent, which is a thin piece of canvas about 
 the size of a bandana handkerchief. I could never see the use of 
 one myself ; it is like a turkey too much for one and not enough 
 for two ; but Smith thought it a luxury that no one under his com 
 mand should indulge in. 
 
 General Smith had only two wagons for his whole command. 
 He said wagons demoralized an army more than tents did, and if 
 he had soldiers that couldn t find a restaurant in the Desert of Sa- 
 
218 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Lara, and a comfortable bed in the swamps of Louisiana, he wanted 
 to swap them off for those who could. 
 
 I recollect his coming on board my vessel, the Cricket, one 
 morning in quite a state of excitement for him. "Admiral," he 
 said, " I want you to give me a pair of leg-irons ; I want to punish 
 a fellow for disobedience of orders." 
 
 "Certainly," I replied, "but why don t you buck him if he 
 has done anything very bad ? " 
 
 "Bucking is too good for him," said the general. "He s dis 
 graced the whole command, so I want a pair of irons ; he s worse 
 than a felon, sir." 
 
 "Why, what has he done?" I inquired; "it must be some 
 thing very bad." 
 
 "Bad, sir, did you say? Well, I call it atrocious; it s my 
 hospital steward, and I found him sleeping out here under a tree 
 on a camp-cot ! What do you think of that ? " 
 
 I laughed. "Well," I said, "it may be pretty bad, but I 
 scarcely think it deserves so great a punishment as that ; let him 
 go this time with a warning." 
 
 "With a proviso that I shoot him the next time," he added. 
 " But, old fellow, my conscience would feel better if I had a little 
 of your hop-bitters, alias whisky ; that s the only thing that can 
 quiet me just now," and so the surgeon s steward got off. 
 
 On the day after Banks s arrival General Smi th held a review of 
 his troops for the benefit of the former. Smith s troops were not, 
 as a rule, dandies ; they often looked very shabby, but their muskets 
 were ever ready, and their bearing was soldierly. They were a 
 splendid set of men ph3 T sically, and wouldn t have feared old 
 Clootie himself if told to assault his breast -works in sheol. 
 They were just such soldiers as the French had in Algiers a kind 
 of bashi-bazouk, or zouaves (not exactly like Billy Wilson s 
 "lambs") and Smith wouldn t have them other than they were ; 
 he taught them to despise danger and to scorn comfort, and did 
 not interfere with their disposition to forage on occasion. 
 
 These were some of the boys he defended at Bruensburg when 
 he said they would not leave a mule, an old goose, or anything else 
 on a man s place if they once got on it. 
 
 The review came off, and General Banks and all his staff were 
 there to see it. 
 
 General Banks was a handsome, soldierly-looking man, though 
 rather theatrical in his style of dress, which might be accounted 
 
A. J. SMITH S RAGGED GUERRILLAS. 219 
 
 for through the fact that he had at one time been on the stage so 
 I have been told. He wore yellow gauntlets high up on his wrists, 
 looking as clean as if they had just come from the glove-maker ; his 
 hat was picturesque, his long boots and spurs were faultless, and 
 his air was that of one used to command. In short, I never saw a 
 more faultless-looking soldier. His staff were not far behind him in 
 appearance ; they had spent the winter in the gay saloons of the St. 
 Charles, and may have lacked a little the rough-and-ready look of 
 the soldiers, but they were a fine-looking set of men, and exceed 
 ingly imposing in their gay uniforms. 
 
 The general and staff were all mounted and well mounted at 
 that and bore themselves bravely on horseback as they rode up 
 and down the lines, witnessed the manoeuvres, then bowed with 
 military grace and rode off. 
 
 "Those are ragged guerrillas," said Banks ; " those are not sol 
 diers. If a general can t dress his troops better than that he should 
 disband them." 
 
 " Walls have ears," and so have trees. This was overheard, or re 
 peated, and reached General Smith s ears. The result was the 
 growth of a feud which lasted through the campaign, and extended 
 to the men of Smith s corps, who held Banks s army responsible for 
 that remark. 
 
 The next day it was announced that Banks s army was only 
 twenty miles distant and would make a forced march into the 
 town, and every one was out to see the troops enter. 
 
 They came along at the appointed time, not with the long, 
 swinging stride I had been accustomed to in Sherman s men or 
 those of the Army of the Tennessee, but with very steady step, like 
 veterans, shoulder to shoulder, arms at " right shoulder shift," and 
 keeping time with martial music. Eeally it was a beautiful sight, 
 and I never saw a finer-looking set of troops than those. If 
 Banks could not get to Shreveport with that army, I thought, he 
 never could get there at all. There were, if I remember rightly, 
 thirty-two thousand of them, artillery and all, and they were fol 
 lowed by two hundred wagons! It was an imposing sight. 
 
 Among the spectators were a number of General Smith s men. 
 They did not appear at all remarkable for their neatness alongside 
 these wonderfully well-dressed men, who looked as if they were 
 simply on parade, and not an army that had marched twenty miles 
 since breakfast. 
 
 Some of Smith s men were dressed in their best ; others were in 
 
220 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 their shirt-sleeves, having stopped whatever work they were engaged 
 in to come out for a minute and look at the "parade," as they called 
 it. They were rough, brawny-looking fellows, dark as Indians and 
 as hard as steel such men as Caesar led into Germany and Gaul, 
 and with which he conquered the world. They were standing in 
 groups or in lines, with their bare, sinewy arms across their breasts, 
 watching keenly the marching of Banks s troops. 
 
 " Good marching that," said one. 
 
 "Yes," said another, "but them fellers s been fed QK pate de 
 foie gras, and there s too much paper shirt-collar for me." 
 
 "Twenty-six inches to the step," said another, "seventy steps 
 to the minute ; we d beat em twenty steps a minute in a march, 
 which would be more n half a mile an hour, and them havin such 
 good shoes on, too. 7 
 
 This showed the animus which grew out of a simple remark 
 never intended to be repeated. 
 
 From this it may be seen how careful commanding officers 
 ought to be in drawing comparisons between different corps, for, 
 though but temporarily attached, perhaps, soldiers, while acting 
 together, belong all to one army, and if some of them are not quite 
 so well clad as others, they should be given an opportunity to be 
 come equal in all respects to their comrades-in-arms without unfa 
 vorable comment. Out of those remarks grew a hostility that came 
 near breeding trouble. These soldiers of Smith s were some of the 
 veterans of the war ; they had been through the siege of Vicks- 
 burg, and at Arkansas Post, where I had met them, and that alone 
 would entitle them to great consideration. They couldn t get over 
 being called "ragged guerrillas." 
 
 I was riding out a few days after the arrival of Banks s army, 
 and saw a woman standing on a house-porch with her apron to her 
 eyes ; she was crying, and talking to a soldier who held a large hen 
 under his arm, while listening to her very patiently. I suspected 
 there was some wrongdoing going on, and rode up to see what was 
 the matter. I didn t want to be considered a Don Quixote, but I 
 thought it only right that I should protect a woman against ill- 
 treatment. As I advanced, the woman took her apron from her 
 eyes, which were full of tears. " Mr. Officer ! " she said, looking 
 at me appealingly, " won t you speak to this soldier and get him to 
 give up my hen which he has taken ? She lays an egg every day, and 
 it is all the sustenance my old mother who is seventy years old 
 can get in twenty-four hours ; it is all she can eat. Do talk to 
 
"TEARS WON T MAKE SOUP, CHICKEN WILL." 221 
 
 him," she continued, " and save our hen, and I will pray for you 
 as long as I live." 
 
 "Well," I said, turning to the man and addressing him sternly, 
 " you call yourself a soldier, and can stand there unmoved when a 
 woman in tears is appealing to you about a hen which is the only 
 means of subsistence her aged mother has ; you ought to be 
 ashamed to call yourself a Union soldier." 
 
 The man looked at me and smiled ; he had evidently been 
 talked to before. 
 
 "Do you hear my remark to you, or are you deaf ?" I de 
 manded. 
 
 "Yes, sir," he answered, "I hearn what you say, an I m a 
 thinkin on it " he was a real live Yankee if ever I heard one talk 
 " but, Mr. Admiral, I jist want to put the case to you in a practi 
 cal way : chickens will make soup and tears won t ! Now, that ere 
 woman s tears ain t a bit of use to me, an this ole hen is ; it ll 
 make soup for our whole mess ; and all I ve got to say is this : If 
 you can make any use of them tears, you are welcome to do so. 
 All Ps got to say agin is this : If you ve got ary a dollar about you, 
 an 11 give it to me, you kin have this ere hen an give it to that 
 ere woman ; and she d better keep it locked up in her trunk, for 
 there ain t many fellers in this army as conscientious as I am." 
 
 " There s your dollar," I said, handing him one ; " give up the 
 fowl, and promise me not to come here again." 
 
 "Well, I ll do that," he said, giving the hen back to the fe 
 male, whose tears all vanished as she hugged her old friend to her 
 breast ; " but, mam, may I ask the loan of your brush to get these 
 feathers off my coat, cause them messmates of mine are rather 
 partic lar about business matters, an if they see feathers on me 
 they d suspect chicken, an I don t want to be bucked." 
 
 The man brushed himself carefully and walked off. I knew it 
 
 was not any one belonging to the 13th , for that regiment 
 
 had certain peculiarities not to be mistaken ; and, after all, I 
 thought, Banks s men are as fond of chicken as other people ; that, 
 I think, is an inherent weakness in soldiers, be they ragged guer 
 rillas from Iowa or propriety men from Massachusetts, and who is 
 there would envy them so small a luxury ? The hardships of a 
 soldier are many, and he bears them with a manliness that can not 
 be comprehended by those who stay at home and send substitutes. 
 I am quite sure that if, in time of war, I had a substitute, and heard 
 he was robbing the hen-roosts and cutting the throats of all the 
 
222 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 little piggies in the country, I would smile in approval. The only 
 thing that I would require of my substitute would be that he 
 should not trammel the movements of an army by carrying off 
 large pier-glasses on his shoulders, which should be only capable of 
 carrying musket and knapsack. There are worse foragers than 
 soldiers foragers on a larger scale, and these are frequently officers 
 in command. I had to do something of it myself while in Alex 
 andria, for it was a place where a man could get but little to eat 
 except salt and canned meats. Even dogs sicken and die on that 
 in a short time. 
 
 My weakness was for horses ; I always required a horse. I was 
 in the saddle all the spare time I could find ; I did a good deal of 
 business in the saddle, besides keeping myself in health. When I 
 arrived in Alexandria I found myself without a horse. 
 
 My flag-ship then was a small stern-wheel boat with a crew of 
 only forty-eight men and six six-pounder boat-guns. I had room 
 for only one horse, and he had something the matter with him. I 
 must have another horse, and so I told Gorringe, who was acting 
 flag-captain pro tern. In less than three hours a beautiful black 
 stallion arrived, and in the evening I took him out to try his 
 mettle. 
 
 While riding along the river-side I met a lady on horseback 
 a good-natured, buxom woman and I raised my cap as I was 
 about to pass her, but she put herself right across the road and dis 
 puted my way. 
 
 " I hope you are enjoying yourself, sir, on my horse," she said, 
 and I am glad I have met the gentleman who borrowed him, be 
 cause I want to know the man that borrows anything from me, to 
 be certain that he will return it. You aren t what they call a 
 quartermaster, are you ? Because, if you are, I want to get my 
 horse back again at once. You re not, eh ? Well, so much the bet 
 ter ; you can come and see me. My name s Mrs. Holmes. You ll 
 find my house on the right-hand side of the road down river ; that 
 horse has a trick of shying ; he ll throw you off if you let him ; 
 my house is a plain yellow building with gable-ends and he s a 
 little spavined, but nothing to hurt and there s a large dog-house 
 right close to the gate, and he feeds on corn (the horse, I mean) ; 
 and there, now, I haven t time to listen to you at present, but hope 
 you will enjoy yourself riding my horse ; only take care of him, 
 and don t forget to return him before you go away. Good-even 
 ing," and off she rode. 
 
MRS. HOLMES S CHARACTER OF THE ADMIRAL. 223 
 
 The next morning I rode down the way indicated, and deter 
 mined to call on the lady and thank her for the loan of her horse. 
 I knew the house by her description of it. She was on the porch 
 as I rode up, and came out to meet me. 
 
 " I am so glad to see you," she said ; "you are a good fellow to 
 keep your promise and come to see me, though I never expected to 
 lay eyes on you again. They do say of you Yankees that you can 
 make use of more soft sodder, and make more promises than an 
 Indian, and keep none of them ; but I am going to trust you if I 
 lose by it ; but I m that mad with that thieving old admiral of 
 yours that I can t hold my temper. What do you think the old 
 reprobate has gone and done ? He ought to be hung on the spot, 
 and if Kirby Smith gets hold of him he will hang him to the first 
 tree he comes to. Here I have been all this winter curing some 
 hams, and last year growing a little sugar-cane to make enough 
 sugar for the family, and it s all gone ; and then the few niggers 
 I had, they raised me twenty-two bales of the finest cotton you ever 
 saw, and Kirby Smith was to pay me ten cents a pound for it, and 
 it was to pass through the Union lines, and that cotton would have 
 netted me on the ground thirteen hundred and twenty dollars, 
 Union money, which would be just seventy-nine thousand two 
 hundred dollars, Confederate scrip and I would . have stowed it 
 away, and at the end of the war, when Confederate money was at 
 par, I d a pocketed a pot of money when just as I was fixing it all 
 up to be delivered to Kirby Smith, who was to deliver it to General 
 Banks, in comes that old skinflint of an admiral, and he seizes all 
 my cotton and hams and sugar, and has it sent on board his 
 vessel. 
 
 " There, now, what do you think of that ? and that horse hasn t 
 thrown you yet, has he ? And he is the worst old rascal I ever heard 
 of in all my born days (the admiral, I mean), and if you ll just rub 
 his legs, from the knee down, every morning, with British oil, be 
 fore you use him, and every night before bedding him down (the 
 horse, I mean), he will go along very well while you are here, 
 which I don t think will be long, for they do say that when Kirby 
 Smith ships all the cotton on the transports and gets an order for 
 the money he ll give you fellows just ten days to get out of the 
 country, and will capture every mother s son of you ; and I only 
 hope he will capture that old admiral of yours, and I want to be at 
 his hanging, and I m not the only one by a long shot. And if 
 poor dear Holmes was alive and here he d go on board of that old 
 
224: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 rascal s boat and just cowhide that cotton out of him ; but the 
 poor, blessed creature, when he heard the war had broke out, had 
 some business in Galveston, and I haven t heard of him since, and 
 I am a woman and can t protect myself, and have to submit to the 
 stealing of that old scapegoat. But he s got no conscience, the 
 old sinner or I might say skinner , for both names suit him." 
 
 "But, my dear madam," I said, taking the floor from her 
 abruptly and not at all surprised that Mr. Holmes had permanently 
 emigrated to Texas, "I am surprised that you have come to such 
 conclusions without being better posted. The very day we arrived 
 here the admiral issued a positive order that all private property 
 should be respected, and if you have lost anything it will be restored 
 to you." 
 
 "Bosh !" she said ; "and you are fool enough to believe that 
 kind of stuff ? If he issued any order, it was that he might do all 
 the stealing himself. Don t you trust him ; I know all about the 
 old villain. Do you know him personally ? " 
 
 "Yes, madam," I replied, "I am very intimate with him, and 
 shall take the first opportunity to let him know of this outrage and 
 your opinion of him, and you will see how quickly he will remedy 
 it. Do you know the name of the vessel and the captain who took 
 your property ? " 
 
 "Yes, I do," she replied; "don t you suppose I followed my 
 property to your old admiral s stow-hole ? Didn t I ask one of the 
 
 sailors, and didn t he tell me the vessel was the ironclad , 
 
 Captain L. ? Yes, he did, and a big red-faced man he is (I mean 
 the captain), and looks like a man who would not mind robbing a 
 hen-roost ; I suppose he goes snaks with that cotton-stealer, 
 the admiral." 
 
 "Well, my good madam," I said, "I will lay the whole matter 
 before the admiral, and if he doesn t right matters I am mis 
 taken." 
 
 "You dear, good man," she said, "I believe you will, and you 
 can keep my horse as long as you like, only return him ; and now 
 you just come in and take some mince-pie and milk ; I made it 
 myself (the pie, I mean), and both of them make twenty pounds 
 of butter a week (my two cows, I mean), and they are " 
 
 " Yes, madam, I will step in and enjoy the milk and mince- 
 pie," and I walked on the porch and regaled myself upon what 
 I had not tasted for some years. 
 
 When I returned to the vessel, I sent at once for the captain 
 
VISIT TO MRS. HOLMES. 225 
 
 of the , and inquired of him about the charge made against 
 
 him by Mrs. Holmes, which he admitted, his excuse being that he 
 thought it public property, as he was satisfied that it belonged to 
 the Confederate Government, though it was not marked "C. S. 
 A.," the brand with which nearly all cotton was marked. 
 
 I told him to return all the cotton, sugar, and hams at once, 
 and that I would only give him four hours to do it in ; and, if he 
 had not men enough to handle it, to borrow from some other ves 
 sel ; that I didn t know whether I would try him by court-martial 
 or not, and that I would censure him in a general order, which I 
 did that afternoon. 
 
 Suffice it to say that the goods were all returned to Mrs. Holmes 
 intact, and in the time I specified. 
 
 I rode down to Mrs. Holmes s next day to see if the order had 
 been properly executed. 
 
 Mrs. Holmes saw me a long way off from the porch, and ran 
 out to the gate to meet me. 
 
 " Oh, you dear, good man ! " she exclaimed, " I got all my things 
 back ; not a thing lost, thanks to you, and no thanks to that old 
 cotton-stealer, your admiral ; I know all about him, and they say 
 he steals cotton by the thousand bales at a time. I ve almost a 
 mind to give you that horse of mine ; only you ve been too good a 
 friend to me, and I won t deceive you ; he s spavined in both legs, 
 and, if you were to ride him ten miles and let him stand half an 
 hour, he couldn t move an inch. I ll do better than that by you ; 
 I ll give you a horse fit to carry a king." 
 
 " Sell him to me," I said ; " I don t take gifts." 
 
 "I can t sell him," said Mrs. Holmes ; "he isn t mine to sell ; 
 he belongs to a Confederate colonel who was wounded at Fort De 
 Eussy. The colonel is up-stairs, and the horse is in my stable ; you 
 can have him." 
 
 "Is the colonel on parole ?" I asked. 
 
 "No," she replied, "he is nearly well now, and is going down 
 the river in a boat to-night ; he can t take his horse, and will leave 
 him in my care, so you can have him." 
 
 " Thank you, no," I said, " I can t have anything to do with the 
 matter ; I want to know nothing about it. It is not my place to go 
 about and pick up wounded men who are on a sick-bed and make 
 prisoners of them, so I won t betray your confidence ; yet don t tell 
 me any more, or I may have to inform on you." 
 
 " You dear, good man ! " said Mrs. Holmes, again returning to 
 
 15 
 
226 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 her adjectives, " and what can I do for you ? Let me do some 
 kind act ? " 
 
 " Only lend me your spavined horse until I leave here," I re 
 plied, "and that is all the favor I ask." 
 
 " There is one thing you must do," she said, "and that is, give 
 me your name before you go." 
 
 " That I will do with pleasure, and, if you will give me pen, 
 ink, and paper, I will write it down for you." 
 
 She ran off for the articles, and soon returned with them. I 
 wrote my name in full, and under it "The great old robber of the 
 widow and the orphan." 
 
 I handed it to her and she read it. Her face turned the color 
 of a peony. 
 
 " It can t be," she said, in a husky voice. " Have I been such a 
 fool as that ? Oh, no, you are fooling me, and yet I might have 
 known it if I had thought a minute," and the good woman sat 
 down and did what all women do under difficulties she cried. 
 Then she went out and brought me in a glass of milk. " There," 
 she said, "I am so ashamed of myself that I can t talk." 
 
 " Well, my good lady, I have only one piece of advice to give 
 you : don t believe every man who tells you that a Union officer 
 is a scoundrel because he wishes to bring you people back into 
 the Union, even if he has to do it by force. Now you can do 
 me one favor, and it will cost you nothing. You said it was well 
 understood that General Kirby Smith had made an arrangement 
 with some one by which the Union army was to march into this 
 country and be allowed to take out all the cotton without mo 
 lestation, that this cotton was to be transferred to New Orleans in 
 our Government transports, and that the owners of the cotton are 
 to receive ten cents a pound for it upon its arrival at New Orleans. 
 Is that so ? and, if so, who is your authority for the statement ? " 
 
 " It is all true," she replied, " from beginning to end, and this 
 very cotton you sent back to me is sold on those terms," and she 
 gave good reasons for believing her statement. 
 
 Here was a revelation to me. A large number of transports and 
 private steamers were daily coming into Alexandria from New Or 
 leans, Memphis, Vicksburg, Cincinnati, and elsewhere all pre 
 pared to take cargoes of cotton, and the majority of them carrying 
 stores of all kinds to trade off for cotton. Here was a scheme of 
 corruption and fraud gotten up for the ostensible purpose of get 
 ting cheap cotton to keep our looms employed, but in reality to 
 
STORY ABOUT THE COTTON TRADE. 227 
 
 make large fortunes for the most unscrupulous men who were ever 
 in the employ of the Government. The whole matter was finally 
 brought before the Investigating Committee on the War, and if 
 that committee did not bring to light the outrageous frauds that 
 were perpetrated on that occasion it was because when they dug 
 down their spades would strike some skull it was not desirable to 
 disturb, and those who had charge of the investigations got over 
 them as soon as possible. An effort was made to connect the navy s 
 good name with the cotton speculations going on, but it failed in 
 toto. 
 
 The only thing the navy had to do with cotton was seizing Con 
 federate cotton marked "C. S. A." and turning it over to the 
 Treasury, which was the final result, for all the cotton seized by 
 naval vessels in "Western waters was sent before the Court of Admi 
 ralty at Springfield, Illinois, and it was disposed of without any 
 regard to claims the navy might have on it. 
 
 This cotton business, as practiced in Alexandria, made a rather 
 ugly chapter in the history of the war. It was not an army and 
 navy entering a rebellious State to put down insurrection and bring 
 people back to their duty ; it was an army of cotton speculators, 
 commanded by General Greed, General Avarice, General Specula 
 tion, and General Breach of Trust, with all their attendant staff of 
 harpies, who were using the army and navy for the vilest purposes 
 those generals who hold always a high position in war, and fall 
 in after an army to gather up the crumbs which it leaves behind it. 
 
 A number of these closed up the ranks of Banks s army ; they 
 were in the van as well, and on the wings ; they were like the crows 
 of Pensacola, which go to sea for a living, and are deterred by no 
 weather. 
 
 I was a great marplot to this expedition in some respects ; I was 
 not let into the secrets, and was very much like a bull in a china- 
 shop constantly running foul of some piece of crockery and 
 smashing it ; I was so stupid that I could not be made to under 
 stand how an army could enter an enemy s country and make terms 
 with him to purchase all the cotton, and let it go out of the coun 
 try without making a struggle to prevent it. 
 
 I don t know how it was that I was kept in the dark. There 
 were lots of people who seemed to have been let into the secret 
 fellows who came all the way from Washington with permits to 
 "trade within the enemy s lines." 
 
 They would bring their permits to me ; I would examine them, 
 
228 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 indorse on the back " Not approved," and sign my name to it. 
 They would then tell me indignantly that they had a steamer at 
 the mouth of the Red River full of merchantable articles, the list 
 of which, when examined, would be found to include military boots, 
 slouch hats, gray cloth, quinine, bowie-knives, etc. I would tell 
 them that the only traders we allowed were fellows with muskets 
 in their hands. 
 
 One fellow sent me up word from the mouth of the river that 
 "he would have me out of that in ten days." I sent a vessel in 
 chase of him, with orders to capture him and take his vessel and 
 cargo before the Court for Confiscation ; but he was too fast ; he 
 was up at St. Louis, had transferred his cargo, and was hired out 
 to the Government before the gun-boat found him. 
 
 I was powerless as an infant to prevent supplies from reaching 
 the enemy. 
 
 Steamers would come up, under army protection, full of cotton 
 speculators, among whom were included ex-governors of States, ex- 
 senators, relatives of people in Washington, rich merchants from 
 New Orleans " their name was legion" and they stalked openly 
 about Alexandria with "lean and hungry look," like so many hun 
 gry wolves seeking food in midwinter. 
 
 I wonder if Sherman would have carried on war in that way ? 
 I would bet a thousand dollars he would have hung some of those 
 fellows. 
 
 This army had two hundred wagons. Instead of marching on 
 to Shreveport, they were employed in Alexandria hauling cotton, 
 which was shipped in steamers and sent to New Orleans ; or rather, 
 I should say, it was stored ready for shipping. 
 
 We went into elections, as far as the army authority would reach, 
 instead of marching off, while General A. J. Smith and General 
 Mower were chafing at this kind of war and volunteering to go on 
 ahead and capture Shreveport in a week. 
 
 If Sherman had been there we would not have stopped in Alex 
 andria a day, but would have pushed on to the end, unless we might 
 have stopped a short time to hang the cotton speculators and such 
 like. 
 
 Even the navy became demoralized. We had regular instructions 
 to seize the enemy s cotton wherever we could find it, and have it 
 condemned before the Admiralty Court enemy s cotton includ 
 ing all that marked " C. S. A. " An immense amount of cotton had 
 been so marked by the Confederate Government before the capture 
 
THE U. S. NAVAL COTTON-STEALING ASSOCIATION. 229 
 
 of New Orleans, with the expectation of shipping some hundreds of 
 millions of dollars worth abroad for the cotton looms at Manchester 
 and elsewhere, but that little game was spoiled by the capture of 
 New Orleans, and now came this new scheme for getting all the 
 cotton to New Orleans for transshipment to the looms of the 
 North. 
 
 Naval officers complained to me that they were losing a chance 
 of making prize-money, and they thought they were at least entitled 
 to the cotton along the banks of the river. I unwisely consented 
 to that, and the very next day I saw a large wagon going along fol 
 lowed by a gang of sailors. The wagon was drawn by four large 
 mules, having painted on their sides in large red letters "U. S. N." 
 The cotton-bales in the wagon were marked, in the same color, 
 "0. S. A." 
 
 Some one with me innocently asked me what those letters meant. 
 "They mean," I replied, "the United States Naval Cotton-Stealing 
 Association. I don t mind taking cotton in boats, but I can t stand 
 the mule business," and I stopped it at once. It had been going on 
 for two or three days, but amid all the army teams I had not noticed 
 this particular one. 
 
 Upon inquiring where the sailors got their wagon, I was informed 
 that " they had borrowed it from the army about midnight," had 
 painted it red so that it would not be known, and had borrowed the 
 mules in the same way ; they shaved them and daubed them with 
 paint, so that their mothers wouldn t have known them. 
 
 Orders were then given that no cotton should be touched with 
 out an order from me. 
 
 Ah ! no man can imagine what a fascination there was in a bale 
 of cotton, especially at a time when each was worth one thousand 
 dollars, and, if it could be condemned by an Admiralty Court, would 
 make a good prize-fund. 
 
 I had some people under me who could smell a bale of cotton 
 a mile off. 
 
 After I had given that order, one of the gun-boats, coming up 
 the river, espied a pile of cotton consisting of thirty bales ; the cap 
 tain hauled alongside the bank and took it on board and brought 
 it up, reporting the fact to me upon his arrival. 
 
 "Throw it overboard," I said. 
 
 The captain looked at me with a heart-broken expression, but 
 there was no appeal. He obeyed the order ; the cotton floated on 
 down the river. Another gun-boat, coming up, fell in with it, and 
 
230 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the captain, with joy in his heart, stopped and picked it up, brought 
 it on, and reported to me. 
 
 " Throw it overboard again, and read the last order about cot 
 ton," I ordered. 
 
 "But this was in the water, sir," he explained. 
 
 "Throw it overboard at once," I repeated, and overboard it 
 went, the sad eyes of the sailors following it regretfully as it floated 
 down stream. 
 
 Next day the dispatch-boat General Lyon arrived. The captain 
 reported to me that he had picked up thirty bales of cotton floating 
 down the river ; it was the same that had been picked up before. 
 There was no getting rid of it. I let it remain on the Lyon, and 
 it went to Cairo, before the Admiralty Court at Springfield, and 
 was condemned, sold, and the proceeds put into the Treasury, being 
 finally paid back to the owner, who had never lost sight of his thirty 
 bales of cotton since 1863. 
 
 He recovered his money in 1880, seventeen years after he lost 
 the cotton. 
 
 It would take a large volume to tell the history of cotton trans 
 actions at Alexandria. In the examination before the committee 
 on the war there was a very considerable amount of evidence and 
 eorne "tall lying." I never knew myself until I read that evidence 
 how human nature was given to castigating his Satanic majesty 
 around the lower extremities of an arborescent vegetable, but I am 
 quite satisfied that on the occasion alluded to Congress did not get 
 at the truth, nor did it desire to do so. Wherever it stuck down a 
 spade it struck a politician. 
 
 Well, it has all passed away, as have many of the actors in the 
 scenes at Alexandria and thereabout, but I do pray sincerely that, 
 if we ever do have another war, it won t be in a cotton country, 
 where an army will be commanded by Generals Greed, Avarice, and 
 Corruption three commanders under whom, if a victory is gained, 
 the benefits thereof will accrue only to themselves. 
 
 We must move on ; we have to go to Shreveport. We started 
 for the purpose of taking that, and here we are at Alexandria still 
 days after arriving here, and with nothing to detain us. 
 
 We push off at last and go to Grand Ecore, pitch our tents 
 again, and look as if we were going to take root. I have taken up 
 three of Fremont s large flat-boats to be used as bridges and to bring 
 back cotton in. There is no use blinking at the cotton question. 
 Cotton was king all the way through on that expedition. 
 
THE REIGN OF KING COTTON. 231 
 
 At Grand Ecore I turned the barges, or flat-boats, over to Gen 
 eral Banks to be used as a bridge across the river so that we could 
 communicate on both sides. The bridge was thrown over in two 
 days. Captain Phelps came and reported to me that Colonel Clarke 
 was filling them up with cotton. 
 
 "Let him do it," I said; "we will capture it when the flat- 
 boats are full," which we finally did, and it went into the Treasury. 
 Generals Greed and Avarice did not get a bale of it, and I am sure 
 no one in the navy did. 
 
 At Grand Ecore the army came to with the two bowers and both 
 sheet-anchors, and finally got out anchors astern, and there it lay 
 well, just ten days before moving on. 
 
 All this time those army-wagons did nothing but haul in cotton. 
 Cotton was king here, as it had been all along the road and on the 
 river. It was a perfect Juggernaut ; it crushed everything else ; 
 transports went to Alexandria with it, and stored it away for further 
 transportation ; the looms of Massachusetts were provided for for 
 years to come, and the sinews of war in the South would be much 
 strengthened. What a practical way to carry on war, and how the 
 " Neros fiddled while Kome was burning " ! 
 
 How A. J. Smith, Franklin, Emory, and Mower fretted under 
 it all, no man could tell ; but it was a reign of cotton ; they could 
 not appeal. They were led to believe it was by order of the Gov 
 ernment. Who knows to this day whether it was or not ? 
 
 It was certain there was some understanding between somebody 
 and General Kirby Smith. The latter kindly moved back as we ad 
 vanced and left the cotton to go to New Orleans, and, when we had 
 emptied the country, we moved on as the hand-organ man and the 
 monkey do when they have taken all the sixpences. 
 
 At last we all moved on from Grand Ecore for Shreveport. 
 Every one smiled pleasantly, but could not help wondering why an 
 army, requiring to make a rapid march, should encumber itself with 
 two hundred wagons when there were twenty transports going all 
 the way by water. 
 
 But let us skip all that. It is a page in our history that may 
 never be written. The expedition was a series of mistakes from be 
 ginning to end. I made some myself, no doubt, but the greatest 
 of all I ever made was in permitting myself to be deluded into go 
 ing where I knew there would be a failure unless a more propi 
 tious time should be selected. 
 
 Let it all go ; there is no more room for it here. This is a book 
 
232 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 of anecdotes, and most of this matter is too serious to enter 
 upon. 
 
 On the way up to Shreveport I had two thousand five hun 
 dred of General A. J. Smith s men with me under command of 
 General Kilby Smith. We were to land them at the mouth of the 
 Shreveport River, and march them to meet Banks when he should 
 arrive. 
 
 Oh, the snags and sand-bars we ran upon ! We had no pilots of 
 any account, and got along by main strength and nonsense. If 
 one got on a bank, another would haul him off, and there was not 
 a vessel there that did not haul the others off three or four times be 
 fore we got to Loggy Bayou the name is significant enough with 
 out saying any more in regard to it. 
 
 The people all along were kind to us as we went up, and gave us in 
 formation cheerfully whenever we asked it. Only it was curious 
 that their information led us into all kinds of difficulties. Where 
 they told us the deep water was, we found shoals and snags, and 
 where we were told to go through a cut-off we found it a blind. 
 But how could these poor people know ? Likely they had never 
 been on a steamboat or on the river in their lives. 
 
 When we arrived at the mouth of the Shreveport River we 
 found ourselves blocked out. A very large steamer was laid right 
 across the channel, with her bow resting on one bank and her 
 stern on the other. Human hands could not move her. If we 
 burned her we would fill up the shoal spot just beneath her ; there 
 was just three feet of water between her keel and the bottom. Of 
 course, her being there was an accident ! But as she was put there 
 at high water, and left there, it looked to some of us as if there 
 was purpose in it. We would have to move her piecemeal, and it 
 would take time. I proposed to General Smith to land his artil 
 lery, and that he and myself should reconnoitre. The artillery was 
 landed, and we rode back a mile ; everything seemed peaceful. 
 " What nice people these are !" I said to General Smith as we rode 
 along ; " they let us go over their country and don t fire a shot at 
 us ; but at the same time let us keep our eyes open. 
 
 " Halloo ! what is that I see running along there in the high 
 grass ? By all that s holy, those are scouts, General ! " I exclaimed, 
 " and they are running to tell of our coming. But they are not 
 General Banks s scouts ; they come under the head of the genus 
 guerrilla ; they carry muskets." 
 
 "I see," he said. 
 
GENERAL BANKS "DEFEATED." 233 
 
 " Banks has had a battle and has been defeated," I continued. 
 " We are running into a trap ; we must turn back, and get down 
 river with those transports when it is dark, or we will be cut off. 
 Embark your artillery and let us prepare for defense, and to move 
 at six o clock. We will have a victorious army on us by eight 
 o clock to-morrow morning." 
 
 The embarkation took place, and we moved at six o clock 
 quietly, and with little steam, placing the gun-boats so as to pro 
 tect the transports. I found that five or six large transports, which 
 had been added to the expedition, were continually getting aground 
 on account of their heavy draught of water, but I stayed behind as 
 whipper-in, and had smaller vessels made fast to them, to pull 
 them off the sand-banks and snags, and so got along very well. 
 
 The good people who met us on the way up, at the different 
 landings, seemed so sorry to see us going back ; they got their guns 
 out and saluted us, but, unfortunately, the guns were shotted. 
 They killed a number of our men, and they kept up such a continu 
 ous salute that at last we began to suspect their sincerity. 
 
 At first the balls came like single drops of rain, then more of 
 them, then they came in showers, and we were absolutely obliged 
 to land and take on cotton-bales for protection to the soldiers and 
 other persons on the transports. 
 
 Of course we fired back ; but what harm could that do to peo 
 ple who were in deep rifle-pits, screened by trees or in a canebrake ? 
 The affair reminded me very much of the retreat of the French 
 from Moscow, only this wasn t retreating ; we were getting out of 
 the enemy s country as fast as we could ! 
 
 The people were now no longer polite to us. When we got 
 down about sixty miles some one hailed us from the bank and said 
 he had a dispatch for us ; it was some one who had thought of us 
 as going confidingly on to meet General Banks at Loggy Bayou. 
 
 The dispatch read : "General Banks badly defeated ; return." 
 Here was a dilemma to be placed in : a victorious army between us 
 and our own forces ; a long, winding, shallow river wherein the 
 vessels were continually grounding ; a long string of empty trans 
 ports, with many doubtful captains, who were constantly making 
 excuses to lie by or to land in other words, who were trying to 
 put their vessels into the power of the Confederates and a thou 
 sand points on the river where we could be attacked with great ad 
 vantage by the enemy ; and the banks lined with sharp-shooters, 
 by whom every incautious soldier who showed himself was shot. 
 
234 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "We could not use our artillery, as the sound would betray our 
 position to the more distant and powerful body of the enemy s 
 force. 
 
 As soon as I read the dispatch I gave the order " Move on," 
 and we went ahead with increased speed ; but about one o clock the 
 next day we were brought to a stand by batteries erected below us. 
 I had dropped astern to whip in the loiterers a troublesome busi 
 ness. One captain got ashore and deserted his vessel with the 
 crew in the boats. I hitched on to the steamer, pulled her out of 
 the mud, and towed her along. She had a number of horses on 
 board. What a prize she would have been to the enemy ! 
 
 Firing commenced ahead, and I pushed on to give direc 
 tions, and, as I turned a point, an attack was made on the rear by 
 twenty-five hundred men with artillery, under General Green, a 
 Texas man. It took me but twenty minutes to arrange about the 
 batteries in front, and, as soon as I heard the firing in the rear, I 
 pushed on back again and found two of the gun-boats, Captains 
 Bache and Selfridge, and the transport on which was General Kilby 
 Smith, engaged with this force under General Green, while a larger 
 body of troops were advancing in the distance. The gun-boats 
 made terrible slaughter in the enemy s ranks with their heavy guns, 
 and General Smith, having mounted his field-pieces on the upper 
 deck of the transport behind cotton-bales, also poured in a heavy 
 fire from artillery as well as muskets. 
 
 "We made short work of the enemy, though they fought like 
 devils, and fell over the levee into the water when wounded or 
 killed. General Green had his head blown off, and his horse went 
 galloping over the field with a headless body hanging to him ; the 
 ground was literally covered with the enemy s killed and wounded, 
 and they left their artillery on the field. I had no time to look 
 after it ; I had too much to do to look after all those transports. 
 I got them all by the batteries before sunset, and was rid of the 
 rebel army for the night. 
 
 All the next day sharp-shooters followed us along the banks 
 and picked off our men occasionally, but we had no longer any rea 
 son for not firing the artillery, and, as we kept that going during 
 the day, we had the advantage of them. 
 
 We arrived at a point four miles from Grand Ecore, where I 
 supposed the army was, and, as I came up with the vessels ahead, 
 I found every one of them stuck fast in the mud all in a bunch 
 and surrounded by sharp-shooters. There was a smart fight going 
 
SAFE ARRIVAL AT GRAND ECORE. 235 
 
 on, but our men were getting to be adepts at this kind of business, 
 and could hold their own. As my vessel was of light draught, I 
 passed on through them, telling them to keep up their fire, and 
 that I would send some troops up. Ten minutes later I met Gen 
 eral A. .J. Smith, with some fifteen cavalrymen, riding rapidly 
 along the bank. I told him the situation of affairs, and that I 
 would send up more troops, which I did ; and at eight o clock that 
 evening all my gun-boats and transports anchored safe and sound 
 at Grand Ecore, after an exciting trip as we could desire three 
 hundred miles up an enemy s river. 
 
 As soon as I arrived I mounted my horse and rode to General 
 Banks s camp, about a mile from the town ; it was dark when I 
 arrived there, and I could only see the twinkle of the lights through 
 the canvas tents. 
 
 There were about twenty tents pitched about the general s 
 headquarters beautiful white tents glimmering in the early dark 
 ness, and they were surrounded by a rope rove through posts four 
 feet high. 
 
 A sentry and a sergeant were stationed at the entrance, and 
 when I said I wanted to see General Banks they told me that I 
 could not pass ; that the general would not be disturbed. 
 
 " But I must see him," I said ; "my business is imperative." 
 
 " Can t help it, sir," said the sergeant ; "so are my orders." 
 
 "Well, then," I said, "here goes," and, putting spurs to my 
 horse, I jumped him over the rope and rode up to the general s 
 tent, which I knew by its greater relative size. I dismounted, 
 made my horse fast to a post, raised the general s curtain, and 
 walked in. The general was very glad to see me, as he had not 
 heard of our arrival and felt uneasy about us. 
 
 He was looking as placid and as handsome as ever ; he wore a 
 handsome dressing-gown, a velvet cap on his head, and comfortable 
 slippers on his feet. His tent was a marvel of neatness and com 
 fort, and everything bespoke the soldier. 
 
 " Well," he began, " how did you get back here ? I felt uneasy 
 about you. You have interrupted me in the most pleasing occu 
 pation of my life. I was just reading Scott s tactics, which I do 
 every night before I go to bed ; but I am so glad to see you back 
 that I shall lay my book down without regret." 
 
 "I got back," I replied, "by main strength and nonsense; 
 more by good luck than good management ; we floundered along 
 night and day with only a few good pilots, and had it not been for 
 
236 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 a good little angel that sits up aloft and looks out for poor 
 Jack I should have been nowhere ; I was born under a lucky 
 star." 
 
 "And that counts in a man s life," said Banks; "I was born 
 under a lucky star also. " 
 
 " If that is so, how is it that the rebels defeated you so at 
 Mansfield ? " I inquired. 
 
 "Defeated me ?" repeated the general ; "why, sir, I defeated 
 them all to pieces, though I had to retreat for the want of water, 
 and I had to come back here." 
 
 "Why," I said, " you only had six miles to march to touch the 
 Eed Eiver, that would have supplied you with water. The dis 
 patch some one sent me said you were badly beaten, or I would not 
 have returned all the way. I certainly expected to meet some one 
 from you at the mouth of the Shreveport Kiver ; that ominous 
 silence showed me that something had happened to you." 
 
 " Nothing has happened to me," said the general, "except that 
 I have fallen back," and I left him under the delusion that he had 
 won the battle of Mansfield, or Sabine Cross Roads, or whatever 
 name that unfortunate affair was known by. 
 
 But I am not going to write a history of the battle of Mansfield ; 
 that will keep. I must, however, mention one little event that oc 
 curred there. When the enemy broke through our first lines they 
 came in contact with that sturdy old soldier, A. J. Smith, with his 
 corps of eight thousand men. I had twenty-five hundred of them 
 with me on the vessels. The Confederates had been pretty roughly 
 handled by the two corps they first fell in with, and no doubt lost 
 many men, but when they came butt up against a solid phalanx of 
 Spartans, and were mown down by the hundreds, they turned and 
 fled, Smith steadily pursuing them, causing them to throw away 
 their arms and knapsacks. There were only sixteen thousand of 
 the enemy against some thirty thousand of our men, and these, 
 when they had first broken our lines, captured all Banks s wagons 
 and a large portion of his artillery. All this General A. J. Smith 
 recovered, and remained master of the field, while Banks, with the 
 main army, retreated on toward Grand Ecore. 
 
 The Confederates had been broken up entirely, their arms were 
 scattered all along the road, and this news General Smith sent by 
 an aid to General Banks, but received in return an order to retreat. 
 He again sent word to General Banks that he was not only in pos 
 session of the field, of the wagons, and artillery, but he knew that 
 
WE COULD HAVE GONE TO SHREVEPORT. 237 
 
 the Confederate army was broken up, and the road was open to 
 Shreveport. 
 
 Another order came to "retreat immediately," and Smith had 
 to obey, leaving the wagons and guns on the field of battle. 
 
 When the enemy sent in a flag of truce next day to ask permis 
 sion to bury their dead, they found no one on the battle-ground but 
 their own surgeons attending their wounded, and our guns and 
 wagons looking on mournfully at the melancholy scene. Of course, 
 the Confederates did not lose much time in gathering them all in, 
 and good use they made of them before they got through with our 
 party. 
 
 Next day, when General Smith came up with Banks, he called 
 on him to report, when General Banks, with that courtesy which 
 always distinguished him, said, "General Smith, allow me to thank 
 you for saving my army ; but for you, sir, all would have been 
 lost." 
 
 Smith took advantage of the opportunity to deliver a retort for 
 those remarks General Banks had the credit of making about the 
 appearance of his men. " Don t thank me, sir," he said ; " it wasn t 
 I who did it ; it was those d d ragged guerrillas of mine, and, if you 
 will let us, we will turn around now and march into Shreveport." 
 
 It was a heavy hit if Banks remembered making the remark. 
 
 No one could ever understand and never will how it was 
 that, after the Confederates had been so cut up and completely de 
 feated by Smith s corps, our army never turned toward Shreveport 
 again. My own opinion is, that if there was any agreement made 
 with Kirby Smith that we might come and take the cotton out, it 
 was done to entrap us, and, when our army was moving along in 
 perfect security and without expectation of being molested, they 
 were attacked at a point very favorable for the enemy, with the 
 fatal result mentioned, though this takes no account of the subse 
 quent inactivity. 
 
 Some good historian may take the matter up one of these days 
 and unravel the mystery. Then the truth may come out. I am 
 certain of one thing, and that is, if General A. J. Smith and myself 
 had been there alone with the forces we had, we would have gone 
 to Shreveport without any trouble. 
 
 After all, nothing was gained by this expedition, for the moment 
 our army retreated the Confederates set fire to their cotton-bales, 
 and, instead of being converted into greenbacks, it went off in 
 smoke. 
 
238 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 THE ABMY PROPOSE TO MOYE AWAY FROM GRAND ECORE SINK 
 ING OF THE EASTPORT PUMP HER UP EASTPORT BLOWN UP 
 THE CRICKET COMES TO GRIEF GUN-BOAT FLEET CAUGHT IN 
 A DILEMMA PROVIDENCE SUPPLIES THE MAN TO RELIEVE 
 THEM A ROW WITH A MILITARY GOVERNOR. 
 
 ki And he swelled like a tadpole on a rather large scale, 
 With a very large stuffing-pin stuck through his tail." 
 
 I FOUND the river at Grand Ecore falling fast, and, notwithstand 
 ing General Banks informed me he was going to Shreveport, I 
 worked the ironclads through the mud into water deep enough to 
 float them. 
 
 I ordered the Eastport, the heaviest of them all, down to Alex 
 andria, but she had not proceeded more than two miles on her way 
 to that place when she encountered a sunken torpedo and had a 
 large hole knocked in her bottom. 
 
 There was no time to be lost. The Eastport was aground with 
 her hold full of water. I went to Alexandria, where I had left two 
 steamers fitted with steam pumps to fish up sunken vessels. In 
 three hours after I returned with them the Eastport was afloat, 
 the two steamers towing her down the river and pumping her out 
 at the same time. 
 
 The Eastport was a ram which had been brought up Eed River 
 especially to contest the point of strength with a Confederate ram 
 at Shreveport, but those extravagant people, after spending many 
 thousands to build a formidable vessel, blew her up on our approach, 
 and left themselves only the formidable ram to which I have else 
 where alluded as having knocked the bull s tail out by the roots ! 
 
 "When I returned from Alexandria, General Franklin came on 
 board and said to me : "Has General Banks told you of his inten 
 tion to fall back on Alexandria ? Orders have been quietly issued 
 for the army to move this afternoon." 
 
 " And what is to become of all these transports ? " I said ; " they 
 don t belong to me. I have already escorted them six hundred 
 miles, and they have not been a particle of use." 
 
 I don t know," replied Franklin; "I thought I would tell 
 you what was on foot, so that you wouldn t be taken by surprise." 
 
"SINKING OF THE EASTPORT." 239 
 
 I weDt straight to General Banks, and, without giving my au 
 thority, informed him of what I had heard, but the general told 
 me he would not move for some time to come. Nevertheless, I 
 started all the transports for Alexandria under convoy of the fleet, 
 keeping four small vessels with me. 
 
 That night the army moved off, and at daylight not a tent was 
 to be seen. 
 
 The Confederates, with extraordinary energy, had got all right 
 again. They didn t stay defeated long. They rigged up the guns 
 they had captured from us with horses taken from our wagons, and, 
 with fresh forces, came on after the army like a swarm of hornets 
 whose nest has been disturbed. 
 
 General Banks s army had not proceeded far before it was again 
 attacked, but the troops were now under charge of General Franklin, 
 and the enemy got the worst of it all the way down. 
 
 Banks, with an escort, preceded the army to Alexandria, leaving 
 Franklin with the troops to follow at his leisure. 
 
 At Cane River the Confederates made a sharp attack, but Frank 
 lin gave them such a warm reception that they were satisfied to 
 follow at a respectful distance ; but they did follow us until we were 
 out of the country. 
 
 I remained at Grand Ecore until I had gathered up some pro 
 visions and guns which the army had left behind, and then started 
 after the Eastport, which was going slowly down the river in tow 
 of the two pump- boats. 
 
 To recount the trouble we had with this vessel would be too 
 tedious. She would sink, and we would pump her out and get her 
 afloat again ; but at last she stuck hard and fast in a bed of logs, 
 and, as there was nothing more to be done, we blew her up with 
 fifty barrels of powder, after removing from her everything of 
 value. 
 
 So careful were the two pyrotechnists in charge of the explosion 
 (Captain Phelps and myself) to see that the powder all exploded, 
 that we came very near going up with the vessel. Phelps was in a 
 boat near the bow, and I was in a boat but a very short distance off, 
 and great pieces of the hull fell all around us. 
 
 The Confederates, who had been constantly watching our move 
 ments and waiting their chance, had now assembled near this point 
 some twelve hundred men, and took the opportunity to pay their 
 compliments to us. 
 
 The other small gun-boats were lying at the bank near by, not 
 
24:0 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 suspecting an attack, but still prepared for one, as was always the 
 rule. 
 
 The Confederates discharged their rifles and made a rush to 
 carry the vessels by boarding, but met with such a warm reception 
 that they were glad to retreat. The sailors followed them into the 
 woods and succeeded in capturing a non-commissioned officer, who 
 gave us all the information we wanted for a good mess of pork and 
 beans. 
 
 This information quickened our movements down the river, and 
 we lost all appreciation of the scenery, so intent were we upon get 
 ting to Alexandria. 
 
 It seems that the Confederates, having failed to make any im 
 pression on the troops under Franklin, had determined to fall back 
 on the river and, if possible, capture us ; and that a force of three 
 thousand men with three companies of artillery was already posted 
 at a point on the river below us, and, as our prisoner expressed it, 
 would give us " Glory, Hallelujah ! " when we got there. 
 
 The rebs in this quarter were a saucy and independent set of 
 fellows, and the prospect of punishment didn t seem to make them 
 a bit more respectful. I rather admired them for their independ 
 ent spirit ; they were foemen worthy of our steel, and can be re 
 lied on now to defend our country, if necessary, against the world 
 combined. 
 
 Their valor was equal to that of the Northern soldiers, and their 
 endurance, I think, greater. Had they been the people of any other 
 nation, our troops would have walked over them without much dif 
 ficulty. 
 
 "When we left Grand Ecore, about five hundred negroes of both 
 sexes and all ages took passage with us, anxious to reach "the land 
 of freedom." When the Eastport was blown up I put them on 
 board the two pump-boats, thinking that would be the safest place 
 for them in case we were attacked, for I presumed the Confederate 
 gunners would devote themselves to sinking the "tinclads," for so 
 our light-draught gun-boats were called, having but one eighth of an 
 inch of iron over their thin wooden sides. I never supposed the 
 Confederates would fire at these helpless negroes ; but one never 
 knows. 
 
 I got the two pump-boats right astern of my vessel, with an 
 other "tinclad " astern of the pump-boats, and the other two ves 
 sels bringing up the rear. My little flag-ship, the Cricket, had six 
 twelve-pound boat-howitzers (smooth bores), and carried forty-eight 
 
THE CRICKET COMES TO GRIEF. 
 
 officers and men. The other " tinclads " had each about the same 
 number, except the Juliet, which carried the Eastport s crew. 
 
 One of the Cricket s guns was mounted on the upper deck for 
 ward to command the banks, and a crew of six men were kept 
 stationed at it, ready to fire at anything hostile. 
 
 We went along at a moderate pace to keep within supporting 
 distance of each other. I was sitting on the upper deck reading, 
 with one eye on the book and the other on the bushes, when I saw 
 men s heads and sang out to the commanding officer, Gorringe, 
 " Give those fellows in the bushes a two-second shell ! " A mo 
 ment after the shell burst in the midst of the people on the 
 bank. 
 
 " Give them another dose," I said, when, to my astonishment, 
 there came on board a shower of projectiles that fairly made the lit 
 tle Cricket stagger. Nineteen shells burst on board our vessel at 
 the first volley. It was the gun battery of which our prisoner 
 had told us. "We were going along at this time about six knots 
 an hour, and before we could fire another gun we were right under 
 the battery and turning the point, presenting the Cricket s stern to 
 the enemy. They gave us nine shells when we were not more 
 than twenty yards distant from the bank, all of which burst inside 
 of us, and as the vessel s stern was presented they poured in ten 
 more shots, which raked us fore and aft. 
 
 Then came the roar of three thousand muskets, which seemed to 
 strike every spot in the vessel. Fortunately, her sides were musket- 
 proof. 
 
 The Cricket stopped. I had been expecting it. How, thought 
 I, could all these shells go through a vessel without disabling the 
 machinery ? The rebels gave three cheers and let us drift on ; they 
 were determined to have the whole of us. They opened their guns 
 on the two pump-boats and sunk them at the first discharge. The 
 poor negroes that could swim tried to reach the shore, but the 
 musketeers picked off those that were in the water or clinging to 
 the wrecks. It was a dreadful spectacle to witness, with no power 
 to prevent it ; but it turned out to be the salvation of the Cricket. 
 All this took place in less than five minutes. 
 
 The moment the Cricket received the first discharge of artillery I 
 went on deck to the pilot-house, saluted by a volley of musketry as 
 I passed along, and as I opened the pilot-house door I saw that the- 
 pilot, Mr. Drening, had his head cut open by a piece of a shell, 
 and the blood was streaming down his cheeks. He still held on to 
 
 16 
 
242 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the wheel. "I am all right, sir," he said. "I won t give up the 
 wheel." 
 
 Gorringe was perfectly cool, and was ringing the engine-room 
 bell to go ahead. In front of the wheel-house the bodies of the 
 men who manned the howitzer were piled up. A shell had struck 
 the gun and, exploding, had killed all the crew a glorious death 
 for them. 
 
 " What are you trying to do, Gorringe ? " I inquired. 
 
 "Trying to get her broadside round to open on the enemy." 
 
 " Leave that for some other occasion," I said. " I doubt if there s 
 anybody left to fire a gun. There are times to fight and times to 
 get out of range. This is one of the latter. We are helpless. Let 
 her drift, and I will go down and see what is the matter with the 
 engine." 
 
 As I left the pilot-house and walked to the stern to go below, 
 the enemy again opened with their musketry ; but we had by this 
 time drifted some two hundred yards away, and the fire did us no 
 damage. 
 
 One soldier ran along the bank and fired twice at me, or at those 
 on deck behind the cotton-bales. I seized a musket, with the in 
 tention of shooting the fellow, but suddenly bethought me that it 
 was not my business to shoot people, but only to direct others to 
 do it ; so I handed the musket back to the owner and said, " Shoot 
 that fellow." 
 
 The sailor fired, and the soldier fell dead, being, so far as I 
 know, the only man we killed of the enemy during the engage 
 ment. 
 
 When I got below on what we called the fighting deck a shock 
 ing scene was presented. Twenty-four persons, half of the crew, 
 lay on the deck killed or wounded, among the dead a poor woman 
 (wife of the captain s steward), who had her right arm and shoulder 
 shot away. The guns were nearly all rendered useless by the ene 
 my s shell, the side of the vessel and her stern were riddled, and 
 everything seemed torn to pieces. 
 
 ** Fire the guns off," I ordered, " even if you can t hit anything. 
 Don t let them think we are hurt." Three contrabands loaded and 
 fired one of the guns, the only one fired after the first ; there was 
 no one to fire them. 
 
 In the engine-room I found the engineer dead, with his hand 
 on the throttle-valve. He was standing ready to obey orders from 
 the deck when killed by a shell. In his convulsions he turned off 
 
THAT POOR LITTLE SQUADRON OF " TINCLADS." 243 
 
 the steam, which caused the vessel to stop. His two assistants were 
 wounded. 
 
 I opened the throttle and the engine moved, for it had not been 
 injured. We proceeded slowly down the river, and in three minutes 
 were around a point. 
 
 The Confederates soon finished all the contrabands that were 
 swimming in the river or clinging to the wreck. Some of them 
 may have got ashore, but we never saw any of them again. 
 
 As soon as the pump-boats were sunk the battery opened on 
 the little "tinclad" Juliet, following astern of them, and raked her 
 fore and aft, killing and wounding many of her crew and cutting 
 her steam -pipe in two, enveloping the vessel in a cloud of vapor. 
 
 The rebels troubled themselves no more about the Juliet, and 
 she drifted under the bluff where the battery was placed. The bluff 
 was sixty feet high, and the Confederates could not reach the vessel 
 with their guns or musketry. The people on board took advantage 
 of the circumstance, quickly repaired the steam-pipe, and during 
 a lull in the enemy s firing, owing to the vessels above having 
 opened with some heavy guns, slipped away and joined her consorts 
 up stream. 
 
 I wondered why the vessels above did not follow me. They 
 waited till night, and then ran the batteries, and were pretty well 
 cut up in doing so. 
 
 Our fight was short and one-sided, for the Confederates had it 
 all their own way, and there was no help for it. 
 
 The rebel army which Franklin had kept at bay turned round 
 on that poor little squadron of " tinclads." They had not forgotten 
 how badly we had defeated General Green s division, covering the 
 ground with killed and wounded, and determined to get even with 
 us ; but they had not the satisfaction of stopping a single gun-boat, 
 or even one of the transports which were so unwisely tacked on to 
 the squadron. 
 
 The Cricket had thirty-eight shells explode on her decks in less 
 than four minutes ; the Juliet almost as many. The other two 
 " tinclads " did not fare so badly. 
 
 Most of the white men on board the pump-boats escaped. 
 
 I had a relative on board the Cricket who had gone on the ex 
 pedition "to see sheoL" He was satisfied that what he had seen 
 was next door to it, and he was willing to return to his post. 
 
 As I came out of the engine-room I saw a contraband holding 
 on to Mrs. Holmes s horse. "Why, Bob," I said, "you are a bigger 
 
2M INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 coward than that horse ; you are frightened to death, and ought to 
 be ashamed of yourself. " 
 
 "No, Massa," answered Bob, "I ain t no coward. Dis nigger 
 stan s by his colors to de las . If you was half as frightened as dis 
 chile you d swim f o de sho . I ve got what you call de moral cour 
 age, sar." 
 
 And so he had, and that sort of courage is better than physical 
 bravery. I took Bob home with me after the war and made him 
 my coachman. 
 
 In August, 1884, I received a letter from Pilot Drening, whose 
 cool bravery on this occasion deserves remembrance, yet a grateful 
 country has so far withheld a pension to which he is clearly entitled. 
 He must be upward of eighty years of age. 
 
 GALENA, ILLINOIS, August #7, 1884. 
 
 ADMIRAL PORTER, Washington, D. C. 
 
 DEAR SIR : Your very kind letter is received, and with many 
 thanks I wish you long life and happiness. Twenty years have 
 passed since the battle, yet I remember each name of the killed, 
 wounded, and living, and how by a miracle we were saved from 
 such terrible firing to see the greatness of the country that our com 
 rades died to save. Yours respectfully, 
 
 T. G. DRENING. 
 
 As soon as possible I proceeded down the river to Alexandria to 
 bury the dead and have the wounded properly cared for. I could 
 do no good to those above ; they had to run the batteries as we did. 
 Four miles below I fell in with Captain Selfridge in the light iron 
 clad Neosho. Had I had a single ironclad we could have driven 
 off our assailants, but "tinclads" don t amount to much in a fight 
 against artillery. I sent Selfridge up to attack the batteries. 
 Pretty soon afterward I fell in with Lieutenant Bache in the Lex 
 ington, who had been engaged all the afternoon with flying Whit- 
 worth batteries. The Lexington was a good deal cut up, but 
 Bache s eight-inch-shell guns were too much for the enemy, so 
 that we had at least one success that day. 
 
 I do not mention our little incident as a battle, but simply to 
 show the kind of experience to which the navy in the West was 
 subjected, and the courage which the officers and men exhibited. 
 It is one thing to be on the open ocean, able to see your enemy and 
 know that you can give gun for gun in manly fashion, instead of 
 being shot at from behind bushes and banks. Think of being pur- 
 
GUN-BOAT FLEET IN A DILEMMA. 245 
 
 sued day after day by a party of bushwhackers watching from be 
 hind trees a chance to pick you off ! 
 
 One can hardly realize the danger to which the pilots and engi 
 neers of the squadron were exposed. I have seen a pilot receive a 
 ball in his brain just as his hand touched the wheel. The pilots 
 were targets for the enemy to shoot at, and he who could boast 
 that he had killed one was a popular man. 
 
 The pilots were mostly Western men by birth, but passing their 
 lives on the Mississippi brought them into intimate relations with 
 the Southern people, who looked upon all that were loyal to the 
 Union as traitors to the Southern cause. 
 
 I never knew one of these men to quail in the presence of dan 
 ger, and when I have beheld them passing a battery with balls fly 
 ing all about them, I have been struck with the coolness they dis 
 played. 
 
 I think there is a magnetism in a ship s wheel in time of action 
 which is communicated to the helmsman. He feels that the lives 
 of all are in his hands, and I never knew a pilot faithless to his 
 trust. 
 
 When I reached Alexandria in the Cricket I was surprised to 
 find the fleet above the "falls." The rocks were all bare a mile 
 above the place where I left the vessels when we started up river. 
 
 Red River had run out, as it were, and left the vessels high and 
 dry, with no chance of getting down until a rise came, of which 
 there was not the slightest prospect. 
 
 There was a narrow channel cut by the flow of water (for ages 
 past) through the middle of the flat rocks, and, as the Cricket drew 
 but eighteen inches, Pilot Drening succeeded in taking her through, 
 and we lay once more in our old berth at the levee, which was now 
 lined with merchant-steamers. Cotton was king, and his subjects 
 mustered strong in Alexandria. 
 
 We held the town and the surrounding country for a distance 
 of some six miles, and the different divisions of the army were 
 posted in the most advantageous positions. 
 
 General Banks had practically relinquished the command of the 
 troops to General Franklin, under whose management every one 
 felt safe. Besides, why should thirty thousand men fear an attack 
 from sixteen thousand, which was about the largest the Confeder 
 ates could muster ? 
 
 The army-wagons were busily employed in hauling cotton, which 
 was loaded on the steamers from plethoric store-houses, yet here 
 
246 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 was a whole fleet caught in a trap and no one apparently concerned 
 about it except the officers and men whose duty it was to defend it. 
 
 Soon after I arrived at the levee Generals Banks and Hunter 
 came on board the Cricket. I don t know what the latter was doing 
 in that part of the country, but presume he came on a mission 
 from the Government. 
 
 These gentlemen inquired which vessels I could best afford to 
 blow up, as there was no likelihood of a rise in the river, and the 
 army had to be moved out of that. The horses were getting thin 
 for want of oats ! 
 
 I was lying quite helpless on my bed at the time, suffering from 
 a troublesome complaint ; but this cool proposal to destroy the 
 gun-boats that had done so much service, and had really, so far, 
 saved the army, was too much for me. 
 
 I jumped up, forgetting my pain. "None of the gun-boats 
 shall be destroyed," I exclaimed. " I ll take them out as I brought 
 them in. A. J. Smith will stand by me, and we will show you that 
 we can hold our own. I ll wait here for high water if I have to 
 wait two years." The two generals could make nothing out of me, 
 and soon departed. 
 
 Captain Selfridge next came to see me. "A bad fix we are 
 in, sir," he said. 
 
 " I don t think so," I replied ; "we will get out of it all right." 
 
 " What do you propose to do, sir," inquired Selfridge. 
 
 "I propose to get out by an act of Providence," I replied, and 
 I quoted Shakespeare : "There s a divinity that shapes our ends." 
 
 "But," said Selfridge, "that won t hold water, which is what 
 we want just now. " 
 
 Just after, General Franklin called and informed me that he had 
 in his corps a Colonel Bailey, who had formerly been a lumberman 
 in the rivers of Maine, and that he proposed to get my whole fleet 
 over the " falls " by building dams to raise the water some fourteen 
 feet, which was amply sufficient. 
 
 I said to the general that I had no doubt Colonel Bailey could 
 do it, and that I had been expecting just such a man to turn up. 
 " There s a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft to keep watch for 
 the life of poor Jack." "Bring your lumberman here, General," 
 I said; "no doubt he has more plain practical ideas about him 
 than all of us put together." 
 
 When Colonel Bailey arrived he explained how he proposed to 
 dam the river and get the vessels over the obstructions. 
 
PROVIDENCE SUPPLIES THE MAN IN AN EMERGENCY. 247 
 
 " If damning the river would do any good, we should have 
 been out of this long ago," I said. But the colonel did not appear 
 to understand the joke. 
 
 I wrote to General Banks, requesting him to approve of Colonel 
 Bailey s proposition, which he did promptly, and the colonel had 
 at his disposal eight thousand men and all the cotton and sugar 
 machinery in the neighborhood with which to make ballast for the 
 cribs. 
 
 I believe that few people realize what eight thousand disciplined 
 men can do when under the direction of a master mind ; but I will 
 here insert the letter I wrote at the time to the Secretary of the 
 Navy : 
 
 FLAG-SHIP BLACK HAWK, MISSISSIPPI SQUADRON, ) 
 MOUTH OF RED RIVER, May 16, 1864. ) 
 
 SIB : I have the honor to inform you that the vessels lately 
 caught by low water above the "falls" at Alexandria have been re 
 leased from their unpleasant position. The water had fallen so 
 low that I had no hope or expectation of getting the vessels out 
 this season, and, as the army had made arrangements to evacuate 
 the country, I saw nothing before me but the destruction of the 
 best part of the Mississippi squadron. 
 
 There seems to have been an especial Providence looking out for 
 us in providing a man equal to the emergency. Lieutenant-Colo 
 nel Bailey, acting engineer of the 19th Army Corps, proposed a 
 plan of building a series of dams across the rocks at the "falls" 
 and raising the water high enough to let the vessels pass over. 
 This proposition looked like madness, and the best engineers ridi 
 culed it ; but Colonel Bailey was so sanguine of success that I re 
 quested General Banks to have it done, and he entered heartily 
 into the work. Provisions were short and forage was almost out, 
 and the dam was promised to be finished in ten days, or the army 
 would have to leave us. I was doubtful about the time, but had 
 no doubt about the ultimate success if time would only permit. 
 General Banks placed at the disposal of Colonel Bailey all the force 
 he required, consisting of some three thousand men and two or 
 three hundred wagons. All the neighboring steam mills were torn 
 down for material, two or three regiments of Maine men were set 
 to work felling trees, and on the second day after my arrival in 
 Alexandria from Grand Ecore the work had fairly begun. Trees 
 were falling with great rapidity ; teams were moving in all direc 
 tions, bringing in brick and stone ; quarries were opened ; flat-boats 
 
24:8 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 were built to bring stone down from above ; and every man seemed 
 to be working with a vigor I have seldom seen equaled, while per 
 haps not one in fifty believed in the success of the undertaking. 
 
 These "falls" are about a mile in length, filled with rugged 
 rocks, over which, at the present stage of water, it seemed to be 
 impossible to make a channel. 
 
 The work was commenced by running out from the left bank 
 of the river a tree-dam, made of the bodies of very large trees, 
 brush, brick, and stone, cross-tied with other heavy timber, and 
 strengthened in every way which ingenuity could devise. This 
 was run out about three hundred feet into the river ; four large 
 coal-barges were then filled with brick and sunk at the end of it. 
 From the right bank of the river cribs filled with stone were built 
 out to meet the barges. All of which was successfully accom 
 plished, notwithstanding there was a current running of nine 
 miles an hour, which threatened to sweep everything before it. 
 
 It will take too much time to enter into the details of this truly 
 wonderful work. Suffice it to say that the dam had nearly reached 
 completion in eight days working time, and the water had risen 
 sufficiently on the upper falls to allow the Fort Hindman, Osage, 
 and Neosho to get down and be ready to pass the dam. In an 
 other day it would have been high enough to enable all the other 
 vessels to pass the upper falls. Unfortunately, on the morning of 
 the 9th instant the pressure of water became so great that it swept 
 away two of the stone barges, which swung in below the dam on 
 one side. Seeing this unfortunate accident, I jumped on a horse 
 and rode up to where the upper vessels were anchored and ordered 
 the Lexington to pass the upper falls if possible, and immediately 
 attempt to go through the dam. I thought I might be able to save 
 the four vessels below, not knowing whether the persons employed 
 on the work would ever have the heart to renew their enter 
 prise. 
 
 The Lexington succeeded in getting over the upper falls just in 
 time, the water rapidly falling as she was passing over. She then 
 steered directly for the opening in the dam, through which the 
 water was rushing so furiously that it seemed as if nothing but de 
 struction awaited her. Thousands of beating hearts looked on anx 
 ious for the result. The silence was so great as the Lexington 
 approached the dam that, a pin might almost be heard to fall. She 
 entered the gap with a full head of steam on, pitched down the 
 roaring torrent, made two or three spasmodic rolls, hung for a mo- 
 
LIEUTENANT-COLONEL BAILEY S ADMIRABLE FEAT. 24:9 
 
 ment on the rocks below, was then swept into deep water by the 
 current, and rounded-to safely into the bank. Thirty thousand 
 voices rose in one deafening cheer, and universal joy seemed to per 
 vade the face of every man present. 
 
 The Neosho followed next, all her hatches battened down and 
 every precaution taken against accident. She did not fare as well 
 as the Lexington, her pilot having become frightened as he approached 
 the abyss and stopped her engine, when I particularly ordered a full 
 head of steam to be carried ; the result was that for the moment 
 her hull disappeared from sight under the water. Every one 
 thought she was lost. She rose, however, swept along over the 
 rocks with the current, and, fortunately, escaped with only one hole 
 in her bottom, which was stopped in the course of an hour. 
 
 The Hindman and Osage both came through beautifully with 
 out touching a thing, and I thought if I was only fortunate enough 
 to get my large vessels as well over the falls, my fleet once more 
 would do good service on the Mississippi. 
 
 The accident to the dam, instead of disheartening Colonel 
 Bailey, only induced him to renew his exertions, after he had seen 
 the success of getting four vessels through. 
 
 The noble-hearted soldiers, seeing their labor of the last eight 
 days swept away in a moment, cheerfully went to work to repair 
 damages, being confident now that all the gun-boats would be finally 
 brought over. These men had been working for eight days and nights 
 up to their necks in water, in the broiling sun, cutting trees and 
 wheeling bricks, and nothing but good humor prevailed among 
 them. 
 
 On the whole, it was very fortunate the dam was carried away, 
 as the two barges that were swept away from the center swung 
 around against some rocks on the left and made a fine cushion for 
 the vessels, and prevented them, as it afterward appeared, from 
 running on certain destruction. 
 
 The force of the water and the current being too great to con 
 struct a continuous dam of six hundred feet across the river in so 
 short a time, Colonel Bailey determined to leave a gap of fifty-five 
 feet in the dam, and build a series of wing-dams on the upper falls. 
 This was accomplished in three days time, and on the llth instant 
 the Mound City, Carondelet, and Pittsburg came over the upper 
 falls, a good deal of labor having been expended in hauling them 
 through, the channel being very crooked, and scarcely wide enough 
 for them. 
 
250 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Next day the Ozark, Louisville, Chillicothe, and two tugs also 
 succeeded in crossing the upper falls. Immediately afterward the 
 Mound City, Carondelet, and Pittsburg started in succession to 
 pass the dam, all their hatches battened down, and every precau 
 tion taken to prevent accident. 
 
 The passage of these vessels was a most beautiful sight, only to 
 be realized when seen. They passed over without an accident, ex 
 cept the unshipping of one or two rudders. This was witnessed by 
 all the troops, and the vessels were heartily cheered when they 
 passed over. Next morning at ten o clock the Louisville, Chilli 
 cothe, Ozark, and two tugs passed over without any accident, ex 
 cept the loss of a man, who was swept off the deck of one of the 
 tugs. By three o clock that afternoon the vessels were all coaled, 
 ammunition replaced, and all steamed down the river, with the 
 convoy of transports in company. 
 
 A good deal of difficulty was anticipated in getting over the 
 bars in lower Eed River. Depth of water reported, only five feet ; 
 gun-boats were drawing six. Providentially, we had a rise from the 
 back-water of the Mississippi, that river being very high at the 
 time, the back-water, extending to Alexandria, one hundred and 
 fifty miles distant, enabling us to pass all the bars and obstructions 
 in safety. 
 
 TVords are inadequate to express the admiration I feel for the 
 abilities of Lieutenant-Colonel Bailey. This is, without doubt, the 
 best engineering feat ever performed. Under the best circumstances 
 a private company would not have completed this work under one 
 year, and to an ordinary mind the whole thing would have appeared 
 an utter impossibility. Leaving out his abilities as an engineer, 
 the credit he has conferred upon the country, he has saved to the 
 Union a valuable fleet worth nearly two million dollars. More : he 
 has deprived the enemy of a triumph which would have embold 
 ened them to carry on this war a year or two longer, for the in 
 tended departure of the army was a fixed fact, and there was noth 
 ing left for me to do, in case that event occurred, but to destroy 
 every part of the vessels, so that the rebels could make nothing of 
 them. The highest honors that the Government can bestow on 
 Colonel Bailey can never repay him for the service he has rendered 
 the country. 
 
 To General Banks personally I am much indebted for the 
 happy manner in which he has forwarded this enterprise, giving it 
 his whole attention night and day, scarcely sleeping while the work 
 
MEN IN WHOM THE COUNTRY FEELS AN INTEREST. 251 
 
 was going on, tending personally to see that all the requirements of 
 Colonel Bailey were complied with on the instant. 
 
 I do not believe there ever was a case where such difficulties 
 were overcome in such a short space of time, and without any 
 preparation. 
 
 I beg leave to mention the names of some of the persons en 
 gaged on this work, as I think that credit should be given every 
 man employed on it. I am unable to give the names of all, but 
 sincerely trust that General Banks will do full justice to every offi 
 cer engaged in this undertaking when he makes his report. I only 
 regret that time did not enable me to get the names of all con 
 cerned. The following are the names of the most prominent per 
 sons : 
 
 Lieutenant-Colonel Bailey, acting military engineer, Nineteenth 
 Army Corps, in charge of the work. 
 
 Lieutenant-Colonel Pearcall, assistant. 
 
 Colonel Dwight, acting assistant inspector-general. 
 
 Lieu ten ant- Colonel W. B. Kinsey, 161st New York Volunteers. 
 
 Lieutenant-Colonel Hubbard, 30th Maine Volunteers. 
 
 Major Sawtelle, provost marshal, and 
 
 Lieutenant Williamson, ordnance officer. 
 
 The following were a portion of the regiments employed : 29th 
 Maine, commanded by Lieutenant- Colonel Emerson ; 116th New 
 York, commanded by Colonel George M. Love ; 161st New York, 
 commanded by Captain Prentiss ; 133d New York, commanded by 
 Colonel Currie. 
 
 The engineer regiment and officers of the Thirteenth Army 
 Corps were also employed. 
 
 I feel that I have done but feeble justice to the work or the per 
 sons engaged in it. Being severely indisposed, I feel myself unable 
 to go into further details. I trust some future historian will treat 
 this matter as it deserves to be treated, because it is a subject in 
 which the whole country should feel an interest, and the noble men 
 who succeeded so admirably in this arduous task should not lose 
 one atom of credit so justly due them. 
 
 The Mississippi squadron will never forget the obligations it is 
 under to Lieutenant-Colonel Bailey. 
 
 Previous to passing the vessels over the falls I had nearly all the 
 guns, ammunition, provisions, chain-cables, anchors, and everything 
 that could affect their draught, taken out of them. 
 
 The commanders were indefatigable in their exertions to accom- 
 
252 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 plish the object before them, and a happier set of men were never 
 seen than when their vessels were once more in fighting trim. 
 
 If this expedition has not been so successful as the country hoped 
 for, it has exhibited the indomitable spirit of Eastern and Western 
 men to overcome obstacles deemed by most people insurmountable. 
 It has presented a new feature in the war, nothing like which has 
 ever been accomplished before. . . . 
 
 I have the honor to be, very respectfully, 
 Your obedient servant, 
 
 DAVID D. PORTER, Rear-Admiral. 
 Hon. GIDEON WELLES, 
 
 Secretary of the Navy, Washington, D. 0. 
 
 When all our vessels were over the dam the army prepared to 
 move. The gun-boats took their batteries on board, which had 
 been hauled around from above the falls. 
 
 For nearly two miles below where the vessels lay imprisoned 
 a flat rock was extended, over which I walked dry-shod, and in a 
 week Colonel Bailey had raised the water to a height sufficient to 
 float the gun-boats. 
 
 How blank the Confederates must have looked when they found 
 that their prey had escaped ! As for myself and officers, we never 
 forgot the service that Colonel Bailey had rendered us, and the re 
 membrances we gave him will be handed down to his descendants 
 and show future ages the estimation in which he was held. 
 
 Through him we saved a valuable set of vessels, without which 
 the Mississippi would for a time have been given over to the incur 
 sions of guerrillas a set of cowardly scoundrels who had no claim to 
 the title of soldiers. 
 
 When the Confederates saw that the fleet was likely to escape 
 over the dam they assembled a force of artillery to stop the passage 
 of the vessels below Alexandria, and attempted to force the lines of 
 the Union army on the single road that led to the point they de 
 sired to reach. 
 
 General McClernand had command of the outposts four miles 
 from Alexandria, and directly on the road the Confederates desired 
 to travel. The latter made a sudden and vigorous attack, causing 
 a stampede among our troops, after which the enemy set fire to 
 McClernand s camp. 
 
 Everything had passed so pleasantly since our return to Alex 
 andria that no one suspected such a mean trick (!) on the part of 
 
GENERAL BANKS THANKS GENERAL SMITH. 253 
 
 the Confederates, but the latter did not seem to mind the strictures 
 which were passed upon them. 
 
 When this attack occurred I was in General Smith s camp, dis 
 tant about a mile and a half from the scene of action. As soon as 
 the general heard the firing he mounted his horse and galloped off 
 to the front, ordering General Mower to follow with the troops of 
 his division. It was a fine sight, those gallant fellows falling into 
 line and going off at double quick after their gallant leader. I went 
 along to see the fun, and, in twenty minutes after the alarm, Smith s 
 men were on the ground and busy putting out the fire. 
 
 As soon as the Confederates saw Smith and his men coming they 
 decamped without having time to carry off any plunder, but they 
 gained their point in turning McClernand s position. 
 
 Smith s soldiers soon extinguished the fire, which had not done 
 much damage, but, when they came across a lot of clothing which 
 had been broken into by the enemy, they saw an opportunity which 
 might not soon occur again, and proceeded to help themselves, 
 leaving their old clothes for the quartermaster, so that he could 
 square his accounts ; and, seeing McClernand s men reforming, they 
 gave three cheers and marched back to camp. 
 
 General Banks rode up to General Smith on the latter s return, 
 and, with a courtly salutation, said, " General, I have again to thank 
 you for timely help, and I shall not fail to notice the conduct of 
 yourself and men in general orders." 
 
 "It wasn t me, General," said Smith ; " it was my d d ragged 
 guerrillas ! " General Smith thought himself even for the remark 
 which he had quoted, and which, perhaps unjustly, had been ascribed 
 to General Banks. 
 
 Smith and his men had not long returned before McClernand s 
 quartermaster claimed his clothing, which was considered by the 
 "ragged guerrillas" as a very good joke. 
 
 The latter said the clothing was recaptured from the enemy, 
 and was a lawful prize of war. How the matter was settled I never 
 learned, but I think Smith s men went back to Memphis better 
 dressed than when they started out. 
 
 The next day, when everything was ready for the march, Cap 
 tain Selfridge informed me that he had been down the river in a 
 tug and found the water lower in many places than it had been 
 above "the falls," and inquired what I would do about it. 
 
 I told him that Providence would take care of us ; that we would 
 get out of the river without any more damming. 
 
254 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Selfridge looked very doubtful, and probably thought the hard 
 work up the river, sitting up all night drinking strong coffee and 
 smoking cigars, had affected my brain ; but I felt confident that we 
 should have water enough to get out of Red River. We had had 
 so many narrow escapes that I did not believe Providence would de 
 sert us now. 
 
 Banks s advance-guard started, and he went with it, while A. J. 
 Smith was to bring up the rear. It would be twenty-four hours 
 before the latter was to set out, and, if the water did not come in 
 that time, I had determined to ask him to hold on until it did. 
 
 Next morning, when I awoke, I found the water not only rising, 
 but running up river. 
 
 The explanation of this phenomenon was that, while the Red 
 River was down to its lowest level, the Mississippi was rapidly ris 
 ing, and had attained a height of fifteen feet or so above the level 
 of Red River. The surplus water was forced up Red River, and in 
 a few hours reached its level at Alexandria, so that we had more 
 water than was necessary, and went on our way rejoicing. 
 
 Two or three days before we left Alexandria a circumstance oc 
 curred which seemed at one time likely to give rise to serious com 
 plications. I hardly like to mention the matter, as I have endeav 
 ored to avoid all subjects tending to reflect upon any one personally, 
 and have in consequence been obliged to omit much that would be 
 interesting. 
 
 When General A. J. Smith and myself reached Alexandria on 
 our way up Red River we were the captors, if a place that offered 
 no resistance, and whose inhabitants made us welcome, could be 
 said to have captors. 
 
 We were there several days before General Banks and his main 
 army arrived. 
 
 The town had many large store-houses for cotton, corrals for cat 
 tle, and stables for horses everything, in fact, that an army would 
 require in that line. 
 
 I needed a place where I could keep stores for the fleet, which 
 were brought in by the semi-monthly mail-steamer belonging to the 
 station, and so took possession of a small stable near the levee where 
 my vessel made fast. The building contained three horse-stalls and 
 space for two carriages, and suited me very well, though I had only 
 one horse at the time to accommodate. 
 
 When General Banks s army appeared, the quartermasters were 
 running about in every direction to find buildings to accommodate 
 
LIEUTENANT GORRINGE AND A MILITARY GOVERNOR. 255 
 
 their stores, and one of these officers had some twenty barrels which 
 he had no place for except a store-house in the center of the town, 
 which did not suit his convenience. He therefore asked Lieutenant 
 Gorringe for permission to put the barrels in our stable temporarily. 
 
 There they remained for more than a fortnight, when our store- 
 vessel arrived with a quantity of supplies which it was necessary to 
 discharge at once. 
 
 Lieutenant Gorringe therefore requested the quartermaster to 
 remove his barrels, as there was no room in the store-house ; but 
 that high functionary said " he would see him damned first," add 
 ing, " You navy fellows have no business on shore anyway, and can 
 keep your stores on board your vessels ; I shall take that store-house 
 for myself." 
 
 When Gorringe reported the facts to me I told him there was 
 but one thing to be done, as the dispatch-boat could not be kept 
 waiting, and to put the quartermaster s barrels outside the door and 
 notify him to remove them. 
 
 Ten minutes after the quartermaster received this notice he ap 
 peared on the levee, swearing harder at Gorringe than did the army 
 in Flanders, and declaring that our stores should not be put into 
 the "stable. 
 
 The quartermaster went at once with a complaint to General 
 , the military governor of Alexandria, a very clever and usu 
 ally courteous gentleman ; but I presume the quartermaster had 
 told his own story, and led the general to suppose that his author 
 ity had been interfered with ; so he came at once to the levee with 
 the quartermaster, both in a very angry frame of mind. 
 
 The general ordered Lieutenant Gorringe to stop putting stores 
 into the stable or he would send him to the guard-house ! 
 
 To this Gorringe paid no attention, and the order was repeated 
 in terms still more emphatic. 
 
 Gorringe was not a person of angelic temper, and had a proper 
 appreciation of the respect due him as an officer of the navy. 
 
 "If you use such an expression as that to me again," he said to 
 the general, " I will run my sword through your body ! " 
 
 The general s rage was now at white heat, and he swore that he 
 would not only put all the stores into the street, but he would ar 
 rest Gorringe and put him in the guard-house. And forthwith he 
 started off for a guard to put his threat into execution, while Gor 
 ringe stepped on board the Cricket and reported the case to me. 
 
 I at once directed fifty marines and two boat-howitzers, with 
 
256 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 their crews, to be landed for the protection of our stores and the 
 officers and men of the navy who were simply attending to their 
 duty. 
 
 I said to Lieutenant Gorringe, " I hope you have sailed long 
 enough with me to know my views in such matters, and how to 
 defend yourself and the Government property placed under your 
 charge." 
 
 When the military guard of twenty men arrived at the levee to 
 arrest Gorringe, they were much astonished to find themselves con 
 fronted by the marines. 
 
 The military governor was checkmated, and, like all men who 
 have exceeded their authority, he did not know what to do. He 
 was much more civil than on his first visit, and asked Lieutenant 
 Gorringe what he was doing there with his marines. 
 
 "I am here," answered Gorringe, "by order of my command 
 ing officer, to protect naval property, and prevent any person in the 
 navy from being arrested while performing his duty." 
 
 " Disband your forces at once," said the military governor, "or 
 I will proceed to extremities." 
 
 " You can do so as soon as you please," said the other. 
 
 This was a dilemma for the military officer, who, though in 
 vested with power to preserve the peace, had no authority to inter 
 fere with another branch of the service, especially as the command- 
 er-in-chief of the naval forces was equal in rank to the general 
 in command of the army, perfectly independent of him, and co 
 operating with him at his own volition, for during the whole war the 
 Navy Department left me entirely free to do as I thought proper in 
 this respect, and gave me no orders to co-operate with anybody. 
 
 " I must see the admiral at once," said the military governor. 
 To which Lieutenant Gorringe replied that he would inform the 
 admiral that the general wished to see him, which he accordingly did. 
 
 "Ask him to come on board," I said ; and the general shortly 
 entered the cabin, where I was busily writing. I arose and politely 
 requested him to be seated until I could sign and send off a letter. 
 This document was to Gorringe and simply said " Hold on ! " 
 
 I then made some observations to the general on the beautiful 
 weather we were having, and the satisfaction I experienced at seeing 
 him in a position requiring so much judgment and forbearance, 
 and that our co-operation so far had been of such a pleasant nature 
 that I should always look back to this time with the most delight 
 ful recollections, as there could not by any possibility be any mis- 
 
A SLIGHT DISPUTE WITH THE NAVY. 257 
 
 understanding between the army and navy, their duties being so 
 distinct from each other, and the only chance of their clashing 
 would be through the stupid blunder of an irresponsible officer. 
 
 For myself I felt sure that no one under my command would 
 take the liberty of interfering with any army officer. 
 
 The military governor could scarcely contain himself while I 
 was calmly talking, and, as soon as possible, commenced giving me 
 his version of the case, and how my officer had threatened him with 
 his sword, etc. 
 
 " Ah, then you are the gentleman who damned my lieutenant ; 
 I really wonder he didn t run you through, for he is very easily 
 excited." 
 
 The general looked astonished that I did not adopt his view of 
 the case. 
 
 Then I told him he had not only forgotten himself in regard to 
 Lieutenant Gorringe, but that he had been guilty of great discour 
 tesy toward myself and the navy, and that I would support Lieu 
 tenant Gorringe to the last. The general went away a sadder and, 
 I hope, a wiser man. 
 
 While the general was on board my vessel a large crowd had 
 assembled at the stable, and reports flew rapidly around the town 
 that a riot had taken place between the soldiers and sailors. 
 
 " Halloo, boys ! " said some of General A. J. Smith s men, 
 "there s a row between Banks s men and the navy ; let s stand by 
 the navy." So down came five or six hundred of Smith s corps and 
 ranged themselves alongside the marines, showing by their looks 
 that they meant business, while the military governor s guard evi 
 dently took little interest in the dispute. It was generally under 
 stood that the trouble was about the occupancy of an old stable 
 that had been used by the navy ever since the capture of Alexan 
 dria, and the feeling was all in favor of the navy. 
 
 The military governor, upon consideration, withdrew his guard 
 and left us in peaceable possession. 
 
 Shortly afterward I received a letter from General Banks in 
 forming me that the navy had taken possession of a quartermaster s 
 store-house, and that I must deliver it up at once ! If I failed to, do 
 this and any unhappy consequences should grow out of the affair, 
 all the responsibility would rest upon my head, etc. In reply, I 
 informed the general that my head could bear all the responsir 
 bility, and that I would hold on to that stable as long, as there; was 
 a shot in the locker. 
 17 
 
258 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 That ended this foolish business. General Banks had not re 
 covered from the effects of the battle of Mansfield or Sabine Cross- 
 Roads, and thinking he might need the aid of the gun -boats before 
 he got through, he did not care to exasperate the sailors. Then 
 he may have thought his troops would be indisposed to enter upon 
 such an enterprise. 
 
 Above all, General Banks was a good-natured man who disliked 
 trouble, and doubtless thought the navy very ungrateful, after he 
 had given them the opportunity of seeing the Bed River country, to 
 act in such an unfriendly manner. 
 
 Before General Banks quitted Alexandria the transports were 
 filled up with cotton, and a large number of negroes of all ages as 
 sembled at the levee to take passage to New Orleans. 
 
 One steamer, heavily loaded and in convoy of a small " tin-clad " 
 gun-boat, started down the river, and some sixty miles below the 
 town the two vessels were attacked by the battery which had suc 
 ceeded in forcing its way by McClernand s division. The guns 
 were so placed as to have a complete cross-fire on the vessels. The 
 gun-boat was soon cut to pieces and the one with the cotton 
 burned. 
 
 The news of this disaster reached Alexandria the night previous 
 to our departure, and an order was thereupon issued to land all the 
 cotton from the transports, and it was pitched on shore without 
 any care for its safety ; at the same time the town of Alexandria 
 was set on fire in a dozen places, principally in the store-houses 
 filled with cotton. 
 
 The conflagration was a terrible one, and as the army marched 
 away and the transports left the levee, they were covered with cin 
 ders and blazing flakes of cotton from the burning buildings. At 
 one time I thought all the transports would be consumed, and it 
 only needed that to make the retreat the most melancholy affair of 
 the season. 
 
 The inhabitants rushed to the levee with such household goods 
 as they could save, in hopes of getting away in the steamers ; but 
 they were not allowed to go on board, and the last I saw of them 
 they were sitting by their property, weeping as only those can weep 
 who have lost their homes. 
 
 I felt for these poor people, but could not help them, for there 
 was no room for them on board the gun-boats, which had to be in 
 readiness to drive away the batteries that might be raised along the 
 river to oppose our passage. 
 
THE RED RIVER EXPEDITION. 259 
 
 The burning of Alexandria was a fit termination of the unfortu 
 nate Red River expedition, although it was very hard on many poor 
 people who had taken no part in the Rebellion. 
 
 The cotton speculators were properly punished for the greed 
 which had brought them into the country, but, although great 
 losses were entailed upon many persons who had taken part in the 
 hostilities against the United States and thought themselves safe 
 from our armies, yet the cause of the Union received no benefit. 
 
 The expedition was originated more for the purpose of getting 
 cotton out of the country through an understanding with the ene 
 my than for vindicating the laws and re-establishing the authority of 
 the United States Government ; and it was certainly conducted in 
 violation of military principles. 
 
 I have given here a brief outline of operations in Red River, but 
 have prepared a detailed account of the whole matter, which, for 
 the present, I withhold from publication. 
 
 The morning after we started from Alexandria I arose at day 
 break to see the army march by, General Banks taking the road along 
 the river, where he could have the co-operation of the gun-boats. 
 As the troops passed by next morning, their commander-in-chief 
 was lying on the ground ("his martial cloak around him"), worn 
 out with fatigue and responsibility. It reminded me of Napoleon 
 sleeping in the snow while his troops were marching by to descend 
 into the plains of Italy. 
 
 Everything progressed favorably. General Emory led the ad 
 vance and General A. J. Smith brought up the rear, and the ene 
 my, although constantly skirmishing, kept at a respectful distance. 
 Our troops finally embarked and left the country with perfect satis 
 faction, the Confederates being equally pleased to get rid of them. 
 
 Behold the difference ! Grant landed at Bruensburg with thirty- 
 two thousand men, whipped eighty thousand, and invested Vicks- 
 burg, which he finally forced to surrender. 
 
 Banks entered the Red River country with forty-two thousand 
 men and two hundred wagons. Twenty thousand Confederates 
 claimed that they drove our army from the country. 
 
 It was not really so bad as that, but the army ought to have 
 stayed there. 
 
 Under Grant or Sherman, or many of the officers composing 
 that army, it would have gone not only through the Red River 
 country, but into Texas, without any trouble, for that army con 
 sisted of as fine material as ever went into the field. It would have 
 
260 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 been more than a match, for any army the Confederates could have 
 opposed to it. 
 
 I think General Banks had a great deal to contend against be 
 sides the enemy. Providence was manifestly against the expedi 
 tion, doubtless displeased to see so fine an army used for such an 
 unworthy purpose, and was determined it should receive mortifica 
 tion instead of victory. 
 
 Yet, although deprived of victory, we had no great loss of life 
 to complain of, and much useful experience was gained. It was 
 certainly an interesting and instructive episode of the war. 
 
 Out of all the fine fellows who served with me in the Bed River 
 expedition, but few remain in the navy. Death has claimed many 
 of them, and some, worn out with disease, are on the retired list. 
 
 Of those who accompanied me to Loggy Bayou, I recall only 
 Selfridge as still in active service. He has only attained the rank 
 of captain, and had to wait long and patiently for that. 
 
 I have not eulogized my officers in this connection, but in my 
 official reports to the Secretary of the Navy I have done them jus 
 tice, and I don t think any of them ever found fault with me for 
 not appreciating their services. 
 
 Selfridge has had a singular career. He had the fortune to 
 serve in ships that went to the bottom. He first was sunk in the 
 Cumberland, in Hampton Roads, by the rebel ram Merrimac ; 
 then he joined me in the Mississippi, and was blown up in the Ya- 
 zoo River by a torpedo. I immediately ordered him to the com 
 mand of the Conestoga, and some time afterward that vessel was 
 run down by one of our own rams and went to the bottom. 
 
 I told Selfridge that, to cure him of his habit of sinking, I 
 would order him to the " turtle-back " Neosho and change his luck. 
 "You have tried all the other kinds of vessels," I said, "and they 
 either go up or down with you ; take the Neosho, and may your 
 shadow never be less." 
 
 Selfridge started in search of fame, and did good work with the 
 vessel while in command of her. After the Red River expedition 
 I sent him up the Mississippi, and in a few days followed after. 
 
 One day I saw a sand-bank in the middle of the river, and the 
 Neosho in the middle of the sand-bank. " Here," I exclaimed, " is 
 Selfridge in a new role. " 
 
 Selfridge came on board to explain the mystery. He had an 
 chored at a point where the rebels were trying to pass some cattle 
 across the river, and he determined to prevent them. It was the 
 
CAPTAIN SELFRIDGE S LUCK. 261 
 
 only road, and they had to turn back with their cattle. Probably 
 the river fell faster than usual ; but one morning the Neosho was 
 high and dry, and there was no necessity of going away from the 
 ship for sand to holy-stone decks with. 
 
 As soon as Self ridge had made his report I said : " Come, pack 
 your trunk and go with me. The vessel is in an excellent position, 
 commanding that road ; no one can get at her to board her, and 
 we ll leave her in charge of the first lieutenant." 
 
 I took Selfridge to Mound City and gave him command of the 
 powerful ram Vindicator, after which everything went along 
 smoothly with him. 
 
 He accompanied me on the Fort Fisher expedition, and only 
 lost a foretopmast, and has had good luck ever since. His was a 
 curious series of mishaps, yet in all of them he gained reputation. 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 TAKE COMMAND OF FORTH ATLANTIC SQUADRON RENEW AN OLD 
 ACQUAINTANCE A YISIT FROM GENERAL BUTLER THE GEN- 
 ERAL S FLAG-SHIP BLOWN UP SAVE THE GENERAL FROM A 
 DUCKING THE GENERAL VISITS THE MALVERN WITH A PLAN 
 OF POWDER-BOAT TO BLOW UP FORT FISHER AN ENSIGN SETS 
 THE PLAN TO MUSIC AND RHYME A STEAMER AND ONE HUN 
 DRED AND FIFTY TONS OF POWDER REQUIRED TO DO THE WORK 
 THE ADMIRAL, IN THE EXCITEMENT OF THE MOMENT, TELE 
 GRAPHS FOR FIFTEEN THOUSAND TONS OF POWDER THE CHIEF 
 OF BUREAU OF ORDNANCE OFFERS HIM MOUNT VESUVIUS AND 
 NIAGARA FALLS TO DO THE WORK WITH THE POWDER-BOAT 
 DISTURBS THE SENTINELS AT FORT FISHER FORT FISHER DOES 
 NOT BLOW UP WORTH A CENT A TRAP SET FOR BLOCKADE- 
 RUNNERS AN IRISH TORPEDO-BOAT FALL OF WILMINGTON. 
 
 IN October, 1864, I took command of the North Atlantic 
 squadron, with directions to bombard Fort Fisher and the other 
 defenses at the mouth of Cape Fear River. 
 
 From my study of the subject I was satisfied that the reduction 
 of these works could only be accomplished by a combined military 
 and naval force, and General Grant had promised that a body of 
 
262 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 troops should be ready at the proper time when all the naval ves 
 sels had assembled in Hampton Roads. 
 
 General Grant was anxious to do everything he could to forward 
 the expedition ; but, as the troops would have to be taken from 
 General Butler s command, which occupied an important position 
 on the left bank of the James Eiver, they could not be removed 
 until arrangements were made for other troops to take their place. 
 
 I was walking with General Grant at City Point, on the James 
 Eiver, when I espied General Butler approaching, and said to 
 Grant : " Please don t introduce me to Butler. We had a little 
 difficulty at New Orleans, and although I attach no importance to 
 the matter, perhaps he does." 
 
 "Oh !" said Grant, "you will find Butler quite willing to for 
 get old feuds, and, as the troops who are to accompany you will be 
 taken from his command, it will be necessary for you to communi 
 cate with him from time to time." So when General Butler came 
 up the introduction took place. The general was very pleasant, 
 and I invited him to lunch with me on board the vessel in which I 
 had come up the river ; so a good understanding was apparently 
 established between us. 
 
 From my knowledge of General Butler s peculiarities, I thought 
 it best we should not co-operate in so important an affair as the at 
 tack on Fort Fisher, for when men have once had an encounter of 
 sharp words they are not likely ever again to be in complete accord 
 with each other ; and the general and myself had had a little diffi 
 culty at New Orleans at a time when he had not been long enough 
 in military employment to understand the courtesy due from the 
 officers of either branch of the service to the other. I presume I 
 had my peculiarities as well as the general, one of them being a 
 determination not to submit to rudeness from any one. 
 
 As far as I was concerned, I did not intend to let past differ 
 ences stand in the way, but I feared the general had not forgotten 
 the trouble, and that it might interfere with the important opera 
 tions that were intended. 
 
 I therefore suggested to General Grant the propriety of sending 
 some one in command of the land forces with whom I would be in 
 entire accord, and Grant thereupon said he would send General 
 "Weitzel in command, a selection with which I was quite satisfied. 
 
 General Butler made himself very agreeable in his intercourse 
 with me, and was apparently very busy in making preparations for 
 embarking the troops that were to go to Fort Fisher. We visited 
 
A VISIT FROM GENERAL BUTLER. 2G3 
 
 each other and hobnobbed together. I was pleased with his zeal 
 for the success of the expedition, and as General Weitzel was always 
 with him when he visited my flag-ship, I took it for granted that 
 Weitzel s going in command of the troops was a fixed fact. 
 
 Butler made many visits, but the troops were not forthcoming, 
 though winter was approaching, and it was necessary we should 
 commence operations before it became too stormy on the coast. 
 The fleet was all ready, and, as time passed, my patience was be 
 coming exhausted. 
 
 In a leisure interval I went up the James Eiver to Dutch Gap 
 in the flag-ship Malvern to give orders to the vessels that would be 
 left there in my absence. The cutting of the canal at Dutch Gap 
 was a very good idea, contrary to the general impression, and should 
 have been undertaken earlier in the war. 
 
 While I was at Dutch Gap, General Butler came up to see me 
 in the Greyhound, which was his headquarters when afloat. This 
 vessel deserved her name, for she was a long, lean-looking craft, 
 and the fastest steamer on the river. 
 
 The general informed me that Mr. Fox, Assistant Secretary of 
 the Navy, wished to see me without delay at Hampton Koads on 
 important business, and, as my flag-ship was rather a slow vessel, 
 he would take me down in the Greyhound. To this I agreed. 
 
 The Greyhound had been lying about an hour at the bank when 
 we started down river. 
 
 The vicinity of Dutch Gap was a kind of neutral ground be 
 tween the two armies, where prisoners were exchanged, and all sorts 
 of people seemed to be hanging around the neighborhood. I never 
 saw so many hang-dog-looking rascals congregated together in one 
 place. The Confederates doubtless had spies there all the time 
 among the adventurers who always follow in the wake of a great 
 army. 
 
 I found General Schenck on board the Greyhound as Butler s 
 guest ; he had suffered from his wounds, and was taking a little ex 
 cursion for the benefit of his health. 
 
 There were no arms on board the Greyhound to my knowledge 
 except General Butler s sword, which, though a formidable-look 
 ing weapon, was of no use to any one except the owner, who seldom 
 laid it aside. 
 
 The general s boat s crew wore his uniform, but had not so much 
 as a pop-gun among them. 
 
 There was a captain and a pilot, an engineer, several firemen 
 
264: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 and coal-heavers, a couple of deck-hands, and a cook and stew 
 ard. 
 
 I never carried a sword or pistol at any time ; neither did Gen 
 eral Schenck ; so here was a vessel, totally unarmed, carrying two 
 major-generals up and down the James River with nothing to pro 
 tect them, to say nothing of an admiral who seldom traveled in 
 such a careless fashion. 
 
 The two generals immediately sat down to a political discussion, 
 while I thought I would take a turn through the upper saloon of 
 the Greyhound, which was fitted like most passenger-steamers of 
 her class, although her saloon may have been a little more gorgeous 
 than usual. She cost the Government only about $500 a day, 
 and carried the general with great speed from point to point where 
 his services were required. Every general of importance had a ves 
 sel for this purpose, but the Greyhound was the gem of them all. 
 
 It was about half an hour after we started down the river that 
 I went up to the saloon, and there I found half a dozen of those 
 cut- throat-looking fellows, such as haunted Dutch Gap, scattered 
 through the apartment. 
 
 I was so much struck with the appearance of these men and the 
 confusion they exhibited that I said to one of them, " What are 
 you doing here ? Does the Greyhound carry first-class passen 
 gers?" The fellow glared impudently at me and said, "We are 
 just lookin round to see how you fellers live ; we ain t a doin no 
 harm." 
 
 Not wishing to let these men see that I suspected them, I walked 
 about quietly, as if amusing myself, while they, one after another 
 disappeared below. , 
 
 I went immediately to General Butler and said, " General, I 
 don t particularly care to be captured just now, as I have important 
 business on hand, and I don t suppose you do either ; but you have 
 a cargo of the worst-looking wretches on board this vessel that ever 
 I laid eyes on ; hadn t you better look after them before they do 
 any harm ? " 
 
 The general acted promptly and ordered the captain to round- 
 to at Bermuda Hundreds, and turned our passengers over to a 
 guard to give an account of themselves, much to their disgust. 
 After a thorough search to see that there were no stowaways on 
 board, we proceeded on our way, no one attaching much importance 
 to the fellows whom we had put ashore, as it was supposed they 
 were merely loafers trying to get to Hampton Eoads free of expense. 
 
EXPLOSION AND DESTRUCTION OF THE GREYHOUND. 265 
 
 We had left Bermuda Hundreds five or six miles behind us 
 when suddenly an explosion forward startled us, and in a moment 
 large volumes of smoke poured out of the engine-room. The en 
 gineer at once closed the throttle-valve, stopping the vessel, and 
 opened the safety-valve ; the steam rushed out, and the Greyhound 
 howled louder than her living namesake would have done. 
 
 The generals stopped their conversation, and the crew seized 
 the planks lying about the deck and jumped overboard. 
 
 "What s that?" exclaimed General Butler. 
 
 " Torpedo ! " I answered. " I know the sound." 
 
 The vessel was now in flames amidships, and the upper saloon 
 filled with smoke like that from coal-tar. We were cut off com 
 pletely from the crew, whom we did not know had jumped over 
 board. 
 
 I was in full vigor at that time, and possessed considerable 
 bodily strength. The general s gig hung at the port quarter, its 
 bow resting on a house abaft the wheel. I put my shoulder under 
 the boat and raised it from its rest, while the steward hauled in the 
 slack of the tackle. When the boat was clear of the wheel-house I 
 lowered the after-tackle and left the boat hanging within two feet 
 of the water. I then lowered a smaller boat on the starboard side, 
 put the steward and stewardess in her, and bade them look out for 
 themselves. In the mean time some of the gig s crew had swam 
 around to the gangway, and we all got into the boat and shoved off, 
 with the exception of the captain of the steamer, who worked his 
 way aft, hauled down the colors, and seated himself on the rudder, 
 whence we took him off. 
 
 From the moment of the explosion until the time of our leav 
 ing the Greyhound was certainly less than five minutes, yet the 
 flames made such progress that the general s aid, who had gathered 
 up some of his papers and was the last one to get into the boat, had 
 his hand burned. 
 
 We picked up the rest of the men who were floating in the 
 water, and then lay on our oars watching the conflagration. The 
 Greyhound was now wrapped in flames from one end to the other, 
 and, in newspaper parlance, was a "grand spectacle." 
 
 There was one melancholy event connected with the destruction 
 of the Greyhound. General Butler had two or three fine horses on 
 board, and their cries when the flames reached them were dreadful 
 to hear, but their sufferings lasted only a short time, and their last 
 groans were unheard amid the roaring of the flames, the crashing 
 
266 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 of timbers, and the noise of the steam, which continued blowing 
 off to the last. 
 
 I think I saved General Butler a ducking on that occasion, if 
 not his life ; but I am afraid he forgot the service, although I 
 would have worked as hard to get him out of that vessel, even had 
 I known beforehand he would try to injure me. 
 
 Shortly afterward an army transport, loaded with troops for 
 Hampton Eoads, came along, and General Butler proposed we 
 should take passage in her ; but I had had enough of army steam 
 ers for one day, and, knowing that we should soon meet a navy 
 tug, I proposed to pull on down the river. In half an hour we met 
 the tug, went on board, and turned her back to Fortress Monroe. 
 
 The firemen were just going to dinner as we embarked, but 
 kindly volunteered to relinquish their meal to us ; so we sat down 
 to pork and beans served in tin plates with iron spoons, and en 
 joyed it as much as if it had been a dinner at Delmonico s. 
 
 I do not know that there was ever any investigation into the 
 loss of the Greyhound. My theory was that the fellows put ashore 
 at Bermuda Hundreds had planned to capture General Butler and 
 destroy the Greyhound, and I believe they were provided with tor 
 pedoes to throw among the coal, which they could easily do when 
 the firemen s backs were turned. They could also have saturated 
 the wood-work in the vicinity of the engine and fire-rooms with 
 tar-oil with very little chance of detection. 
 
 When the torpedo was thrown into the furnace with the coal, 
 it soon burst, blowing the furnace-doors open and throwing the 
 burning mass into the fire-room, where it communicated with the 
 wood-work. Perhaps the shell may have contained some volatile 
 matter which caught the saturated wood. We were furnished with 
 such shells ourselves during the war, but never used them. Only 
 a few months ago the inventor inquired of me how many had been 
 expended by the navy during the war, probably with the idea of 
 claiming a royalty. 
 
 In whatever manner the Greyhound was set on fire, I am sure 
 it was not one of the ordinary accidents to which all ships are lia 
 ble. In devices for blowing up vessels the Confederates were far 
 ahead of us, putting Yankee ingenuity to shame. 
 
 When we reached Hampton Roads a large assembly of the gen 
 eral s friends was there to congratulate him on his escape from 
 death, but the rest of us were unnoticed. I slipped on board one 
 of the vessels of the squadron and invited myself to take tea 
 
HOW TO BLOW UP FORT FISHER. 267 
 
 with the captain, but resolved to keep clear of army steamers in 
 future. 
 
 We waited patiently for the soldiers promised by General Grant. 
 It was no use to attack Fort Fisher without them, for, although 
 we might disable the guns, we could not take possession of the 
 place. The defenders would stow themselves away in bomb-proofs, 
 and would be safe against our fire. All I wanted of the army was 
 to occupy the works after I had finished with them. I supposed 
 they would have some fighting to do, but did not think they would 
 meet with any great loss. 
 
 One day General Butler came on board the Malvern, accompa 
 nied by Genera] Weitzel, some of his staff, and a reporter, and said 
 that he had an important communication to make to me. 
 
 I had a faint hope that there was now a prospect of getting the 
 fleet off to Fort Fisher. I saw plainly that I could not get away 
 until General Butler chose to send his troops, for at that time But 
 ler was in the zenith of his power and seemed to do pretty much as 
 he pleased. 
 
 When we were all in the cabin, including Captain K. E. Breese, 
 my fleet-captain, General Butler said, " The communication I have 
 to make is so important that I deem it necessary to observe the 
 greatest secrecy." Then he and Weitzel and the stenographic 
 reporter whispered together. This was a common practice with 
 these gentlemen when they visited my ship, as if they hesitated 
 about taking me into their confidence ; but I was willing to stand 
 almost any nonsense if I could only get off, although by nature not 
 of the most patient disposition. 
 
 "Mr. Keporter," said the general, "don t you miss one syllable 
 that I say, and put it down exactly as I say it. Weitzel, you pay 
 attention. Remember, this proposition is altogether mine. I have 
 never mentioned it to anybody except you. " Then he whispered 
 for a while to Weitzel, and took his seat, evidently much excited 
 something like a hen that has laid an egg. 
 
 My patience was rapidly evaporating when the stenographer got 
 down to his work, the general watching every word he wrote. Gen 
 eral Butler seemed so intent on his project, and so earnest, that I 
 began to be curious to hear all about it. I had not the faintest 
 idea what he was driving at. It certainly could not be a balloon 
 attack, for we had no balloons, and couldn t get them without an 
 act of Congress. Perhaps, thought I, he intends to introduce rat 
 tlesnakes into Fort Fisher on the sly ; but this idea I at once dis- 
 
268 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 missed ; there was nothing in the Constitution which would au 
 thorize such a proceeding. 
 
 I whispered to Captain Breese, " The general is going to propose 
 his petroleum bath/ such as he has already proposed to use on 
 James Eiver. He is going to attack Fort Fisher from seaward by 
 setting afloat tons of petroleum when the wind is on shore, and, by 
 igniting it, knock the rebs out of their boots ! " I thought the ab 
 surdity of such an idea would be a great recommendation, especially 
 as it would cost a great deal of money, for at that time there was 
 great competition in Washington as to which department could 
 make the largest expenditure. 
 
 At length the reporter stood up and read what he had taken 
 down. I never obtained a copy of the precious original, but one 
 of my aides got hold of it and turned it into rhyme. As well as 
 my memory serves me it ran as follows : 
 
 " You have, no doubt, heard of the Kiver Thames, 
 A stream just about the size of the James, 
 Where at Erith the magazine burst into flames : 
 
 Twas a great magazine, 
 
 Strong as any you ve seen, 
 But twas blown into atoms, just by a spark 
 Getting into the powder. A fool in the dark 
 Sat smoking a penny cigar in a barge 
 Filled up with explosives which he had in charge. 
 
 14 For miles away, it is reported to me, 
 There was not to be seen a house or a tree 
 That was not shattered, blown up, or blown down ; 
 There was not a glass left in the neighboring town, 
 
 And the birds on their perch 
 
 Took an awful lee lurch ; 
 
 The cows milked water, the dogs lost their bark, 
 All owing to powder and a very small spark. 
 The hens stopped laying, the cats got afraid 
 To enliven the night with their sweet serenade." 
 
 There was a good deal more of this, but it has been forgotten. 
 The amount of it was that the general proposed to blow up Fort 
 Fisher with a "powder-boat" laden with one hundred and fifty 
 tons of powder. He argued the subject with so much eloquence, 
 and showed such a knowledge of pyrotechnics, that no one could 
 controvert his opinions. 
 
 "When the matter of the proposed powder-boat had been sub- 
 
THE "POWDER-BOAT" SCHEME. 269 
 
 mitted, I saw at once that here was something to simplify matters 
 very much, requiring no act of Congress or interference of the 
 Committee on the Conduct of the War ! 
 
 The army and navy had plenty of bad powder and worthless 
 vessels in fact, material for half a dozen powder-boats if neces 
 sary. 
 
 I don t know whether the general claimed the powder-boat as 
 an original idea, but there is nothing new under the sun, and such 
 a means of attack has been employed before. 
 
 I arose from my seat, and in a short speech accepted the gener 
 al s plan, at the same time eulogizing the head that could conceive 
 such a brilliant idea. The navy and the powder-boat would be all- 
 sufficient, and I rather liked the notion, as the expedition would be 
 entirely a naval affair, and I was not anxious to repeat my Ked 
 Kiver experience on the Atlantic coast. 
 
 I think I stood higher in General Butler s estimation at that 
 moment than I have ever done before or since, for, on the whole, 
 he didn t seem to fancy me, as I had an unpleasant way of speak 
 ing my mind freely and not permitting any one to interfere with 
 my business. 
 
 I don t hesitate to say that I encouraged this scheme of a pow 
 der-boat, for in it I saw the road to success, and I was pleased to 
 see that, notwithstanding General Butler s enthusiasm at the idea 
 of blowing up Fort Fisher, he was not at all disinclined to have the 
 navy go along, and also the contingent of troops that had been 
 originally proposed! 
 
 Many persons have ridiculed General Butler s plan, but in war 
 it is worth while to try everything, and some of our most scientific 
 officers in Washington were so much impressed with the idea of the 
 powder-boat that they carefully investigated the subject. The re 
 sult of their calculations went to show that if a hundred and fifty 
 tons of powder, confined in an inclosed space, could be at once ex 
 ploded at a short distance from Fort Fisher, the concussion would 
 displace so much air and so rapidly that it would kill every living 
 thing in the vicinity, and wipe the sand fort out of existence. 
 
 At this lapse of time I have forgotten how much faith I really 
 had in the project, but I must have been somewhat excited, as I 
 telegraphed to Captain Wise, Chief of the Bureau of Ordnance, 
 Navy Department, that 1 wanted fifteen thousand tons of powder 
 to blow up Fort Fisher, instead of one hundred and fifty tons, the 
 amount asked for by General Butler. I was vexed at Wise s an- 
 
270 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 swer : " Why don t you make a requisition for Niagara Falls and 
 Mount Vesuvius ? they will do the job for you." 
 
 This little mistake of two ciphers would indicate that I was not 
 so phlegmatic as usual, so I really think I must have believed in 
 the scheme. 
 
 After General Butler and his staff had departed, Captain 
 Breese said to me : "Admiral, you certainly don t believe in that 
 idea of a powder-boat. It has about as much chance of blowing 
 up the fort as I have of flying ! " 
 
 ( And who knows," I said, " whether a machine may not soon be 
 perfected to enable us all to fly, as it only requires a forty-horse 
 power in a cubic foot of space, and a propeller that will make such 
 a vacuum that the air will rush in and drive the thing along." 
 
 Breese looked disappointed that I should lend myself to such a 
 project. I directed him to make signal to the powder-magazine 
 and inquire how much powder they had on hand. 
 
 Breese sighed as he walked out of the cabin, and I thought I 
 heard him say " All bosh ! " but one has to be a little deaf occa 
 sionally. 
 
 In answer to a telegram, I was told by the Navy Department 
 to take any steamer I wanted for blowing up, for both the War 
 and Navy Departments highly approved the powder-boat scheme ; 
 in fact, General Butler had a right to be proud of the support he 
 received from some of the most " scientific " men in both branches 
 of the service. 
 
 I sent a tug to Newbern, North Carolina, for the steamer Louisi 
 ana, a valuable vessel, worth at least a thousand dollars ! I calcu 
 lated that by passing hawsers around her and " setting them taut," 
 she would hold together long enough to get to Fort Fisher. 
 
 Next day the powder-boat arrived at Hampton Roads, and Cap 
 tain Jeffers, of the Ordnance Bureau, came from Washington to 
 take charge of loading her and laying the " Gomer fuse," which 
 would ignite any quantity of powder quicker than lightning that 
 is, if the fuse went off, which it sometimes failed to do. 
 
 Several young army officers fresh from West Point also ap 
 peared on the scene, bringing with them a cart-load of books relat 
 ing to explosives, and in the course of their researches one of them 
 discovered that the illustrious Chi-Fung, a Chinese general, had 
 blown up an enemy s fort with gunpowder several centuries before 
 the discovery of America, but whether he used a powder-boat his 
 tory did not say. 
 
"ARRIVAL OF THE POWDER-BOAT. " 271 
 
 The day the steamer arrived I sent an officer to General Weit- 
 zel s camp to find out quietly if anything different from usual was 
 going on. He returned shortly after and informed me that they 
 were telling off the contingent that was to go to Fort Fisher, that 
 transports were assembling near Dutch Gap, and everybody was 
 talking hopefully of what the powder-boat would do. The soldiers 
 seemed to fancy they would have an easy job, as the fort and all 
 its contents would be blown away. 
 
 "Breese," I said to the fleet-captain, "I hope now you believe 
 in the powder-boat. Issue an order for all the vessels to be ready 
 to sail at noon to-morrow, and have two steamers on hand to tow 
 the powder-boat down." 
 
 I then visited the powder-boat, and never saw greater enthusi 
 asm. Officers were hard at work in their shirt-sleeves, and the 
 " Gomer fuse," like a huge tape-worm, was working its way through 
 piles of powder-bags. Every bag had a piece of fuse around it, so 
 that there would be no mistake about its going off. 
 
 In the cabin of the powder-boat was a peculiar clock to fire the 
 fuse at any time desired. There were candles that would burn a 
 given number of minutes and then explode, and there were hand- 
 grenades that would fall at a given time and set the vessel on fire. 
 
 These were fine contrivances ; but I ordered half a cord of pine- 
 knots piled up in the cabin, to be ignited by the last man who left 
 the ship, and this was what finally did the work. 
 
 The powder-boat left that night, and next day at noon the fleet, 
 consisting of seventy-five or eighty well-armed vessels, got under 
 way from Hampton Roads, the flag-ship Malvern bringing up the 
 rear. 
 
 As the flag-ship quitted the anchorage the transports were 
 sighted with the troops on board. 
 
 We all arrived at the rendezvous near Fort Fisher, and every 
 one was enjoined to be cautious. 
 
 The fleet lay some ten miles off shore, but the commanding offi 
 cers of vessels were advised not to have too much steam up for fear 
 of bursting their boilers when the explosion took place. One cap 
 tain asked if it would not be prudent to send down top-gallant masts 
 and yards, and brace the lower yards sharp up. I told him " No," for 
 there might be a gun or two left in the works after the explosion, 
 and he would need his sail to get out in case a shot should perforate 
 his boilers. 
 
 General Butler s transports lay at New Inlet, some distance to 
 
272 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the northward, but I supposed he would soon be on the ground to 
 stand by and charge the ruined works after the explosion. 
 
 At ten o clock on the night succeeding our arrival the powder- 
 boat was towed in abreast of the fort and anchored near the shore, 
 the clock was started, candles lighted, hand-grenades fixed, and the 
 wood-pile ignited not a soul in the fort aware of the terrible fate 
 that awaited them. In ten minutes the powder-boat blew up, and 
 the ships stood in to the attack. Official accounts will tell the rest. 
 
 " But the powder-boat didn t, like that on the Thames, 
 Set houses and barns and the towns all in flames; 
 And the dogs still barked, and no cats were afraid 
 To disturb the mild night with their sweet serenade." 
 
 The night the powder-boat was exploded a boat from shore came 
 off with four deserters from the enemy. I asked what effect the 
 explosion had on the people in the fort. 
 
 " It was dreadful," said one of the men ; " it woke up everybody 
 in Fort Fisher ! " 
 
 But I do believe, notwithstanding, that the explosion had its 
 effect on the enemy, for next morning, when the ships attacked, 
 the Confederates fought as if they meant business, and the powder- 
 boat waked them up to some purpose. 
 
 It was not General Butler s fault that the scheme was not a suc 
 cess. Something was wrong in the powder, or it could not all have 
 exploded ; for, while standing on the deck of the Malvern the morn 
 ing after the surrender of Fort Fisher, the earth-works seemed to 
 be in motion, the light was obscured by smoke and sand, amid 
 which I could see the bodies of many people carried up in the air, 
 and I heard a great explosion which shook the earth. Then I 
 learned that Fort Fisher had blown up and killed a number of our 
 men yet only four tons of powder exploded. 
 
 This would indicate that the conception of the powder-boat was 
 a good one, and, if it could only have been got near enough to the 
 fort or inside, and all the powder exploded, it would have demol 
 ished the works and their occupants. 
 
 I shall always feel under the greatest obligations to the powder- 
 boat, for, although it failed to blow up Fort Fisher, it did what 
 nothing else could have done it started the expedition off. Con 
 sidering all things, it was a cheap experiment in pyrotechnics, for 
 the powder cost not more than sixty thousand dollars, and the ves 
 sel was absolutely worthless. 
 
TRAP FOR BLOCKADE-RUNNERS. 273 
 
 Had she not gone up in a blaze of glory she might to-day have 
 figured on the navy-list as an effective vessel of war, while slowly 
 decaying at her berth in Rotten Row ! 
 
 After the failure to capture Fort Fisher I wrote to General 
 Grant, " Send me the same soldiers with another general, and we 
 will have the fort." So the soldiers were sent under command of 
 General Terry, and, after a fight that did credit to all concerned, 
 we succeeded on January 15, 1865. 
 
 Then we worked our way up the Cape Fear River, all of which 
 has been duly recorded in the official reports of the day. 
 
 After Cape Fear River was in our possession it struck me that 
 it would be a good plan to set a trap for blockade-runners, who 
 could not have heard of the change of affairs, and I put the inde 
 fatigable Lieutenant Gushing at work to establish decoy signals and 
 range-lights, and this, with the assistance of the " intelligent con 
 traband," who was always on hand, Gushing soon accomplished. 
 
 On the night of the 19th of January two long, light-colored ob 
 jects were seen moving up the Cape Fear River, and in a few mo 
 ments came to anchor near the flag-ship. These were the Stag and 
 Charlotte, two blockade-running steamers, and they had hardly got 
 their anchors down before our boats boarded them and summoned 
 them to surrender. 
 
 The officers and passengers of the Charlotte were just sitting 
 down to an elegant supper, in honor of their safe arrival, when the 
 boarding officer walked into the cabin and announced to the aston 
 ished company that they were prisoners. 
 
 " The Yankees have got us, by thunder ! " exclaimed one of the 
 revelers, while consternation for the moment reigned round the 
 board. 
 
 Among the passengers were several distinguished Englishmen, 
 one or two of them officers of the British army, in search of advent 
 ures, and they were not particularly delighted at the turn affairs 
 had taken. 
 
 The captain of the steamer had been captured before, and took 
 his present mishap as a matter of course ; but one of his passengers 
 could not be made to comprehend how one of her Majesty s mer 
 chant vessels could be taken possession of in a friendly port while 
 peaceable passengers were eating their supper. 
 
 "Look here, sir," said he to the boarding officer, "aren t you 
 joking ? You certainly wouldn t dare to interfere with one of her 
 18 
 
274: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Majesty s vessels ; the Admiralty would quick send a fleet over here 
 and dampen you fellows. This is all a joke, I know it is, and I 
 want to go on shore at once." 
 
 " You have very singular ideas of what constitutes a joke," said 
 the boarding officer. " I don t think you could understand one un 
 less it was fired at you out of a thirty-two pounder." 
 
 "But," said the Englishman, "how can you fire a joke out of 
 a thirty-two pounder ? " 
 
 This remark "brought down the house," and the captain of the 
 blockade-runner suggested that they had better eat supper first and 
 discuss the joke afterward. 
 
 This affair turned out to be a very lucrative night s work, as the 
 Stag and Charlotte were filled with all kinds of valuable goods, in 
 cluding many commissions for "ladies of the court." 
 
 In the cabin of one vessel was a pile of bandboxes, in which 
 were charming little bonnets marked with the owners names. It 
 would have given me much pleasure to have forwarded them to 
 their destination, but the laws forbade our giving aid and comfort 
 to the enemy, so all the French bonnets, cloaks, shoes, and other 
 feminine Iric-a-brac had to go to New York for condemnation by 
 the Admiralty Court, and were sold at public auction. 
 
 These bonnets, laces, and other vanities rather clashed with the 
 idea I had formed of the Southern ladies, as I had heard that all 
 they owned went to the hospitals, -and that they never spent a cent 
 on their personal adornment ; but human nature is the same the 
 world over, and the ladies will indulge in their little vanities in 
 spite of war and desolation. 
 
 It looked queer to me to see boxes labeled " His Excellency, 
 Jefferson Davis, President of the * Confederate States of America. " 
 The packages so labeled contained Bass ale or Cognac brandy, 
 which cost "His Excellency" less than we Yankees had to pay for 
 it. Think of the President drinking imported liquors while his 
 soldiers were living on pop-corn and water ! 
 
 I had supposed that blockade-runners were mainly filled with 
 arms, ammunition, and clothing for the troops ; but the Char 
 lotte, Stag, and Blenheim, captured by us at the mouth of the 
 Cape Fear River, were not entirely laden with army supplies. The 
 main cargo of one vessel was composed of articles for ladies use, 
 and all three were plentifully stocked with liquors and table luxu 
 ries. 
 
 There were many dreadful sights at Fort Fisher, and much hard 
 
PROMPT ACTION OF THE ORDNANCE BUREAU. 275 
 
 work to engross our time and thoughts, yet there were ridiculous 
 incidents as well. 
 
 After the surrender of the fort all the smaller vessels of the 
 fleet had to cross the bar of Cape Fear River, where at most there 
 was but eleven feet of water. In the attempt they got fast in the 
 mud, some twenty of them mixed up in apparently inextricable 
 confusion, but in a few hours they were all across "the rip" and 
 at anchor inside Cape Fear River. 
 
 Early next morning (February 18, 1865) an attack was made 
 on Fort Anderson, a well-built star fort armed with nineteen heavy 
 guns and situated on the right bank of the river. Like their other 
 works, Fort Anderson was not well protected in the rear. The 
 Confederates, it would seem, did not calculate their forts would be 
 taken, thinking them proof against an enemy s fire and not antici 
 pating that troops would ever be landed in their rear. If such 
 were their calculations, the enemy were grievously disappointed. 
 
 In the attack on Fort Fisher we had burst nearly all the Parrott 
 guns in the fleet ; so I had telegraphed to Captain Wise, chief of 
 the Ordnance Bureau, to send me twenty eleven-inch smooth 
 bores, shot and shell, triangles for hoisting, etc., and in four days 
 the articles arrived in a fast steamer from New York, which shows 
 how promptly the Ordnance Bureau did business during the war. 
 It was four days then before we could commence operations on 
 Fort Anderson. 
 
 The night before we attacked that place I had a mock monitor 
 constructed very much like the one which did such good service 
 on the Mississippi. I knew that the enemy had the channel 
 planted with torpedoes, and piles were driven in such a manner that 
 vessels would have to pass right over where the torpedoes were 
 sunk. At about 11 p. M. I had the monitor towed up, and let go 
 within two hundred yards of the enemy s works. 
 
 .The monitor floated with the flood-tide to within a short dis 
 tance of the batteries, when the enemy opened fire with heavy guns 
 and musketry, and exploded some of the torpedoes, all of which 
 did the monster no harm, and she finally floated off toward Wil 
 mington, not troubling herself to keep in the channel, but cross 
 ing flats where there were only a few inches of water ! 
 
 All the next afternoon the monitor Montauk lay close in to the 
 fort, keeping up a constant fire, while we mounted our eleven- 
 inch guns ; and this was the monitor that the enemy thought had 
 passed by in the previous night. 
 
276 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Just before dark that evening a veracious "contraband" pad 
 dled alongside the Malvern in a canoe and informed me that the 
 enemy had a powerful ram and torpedo-vessel ready to come down 
 upon us after dark that night. 
 
 I was surprised at not having heard of this ram before, but I 
 prepared to receive her. Every vessel was to keep two boats ready, 
 the boats* crews armed for boarding, and each boat was provided 
 with a heavy net on a pole, with which to foul the torpedo-vessel s 
 propeller. 
 
 The idea was for the boats to get alongside, cripple the enemy s 
 propeller, and then carry the vessel by boarding. Two picket-boats 
 were kept about six hundred yards ahead of the leading vessel, and 
 a strict watch was kept on board the gun-boats ; but the picket- 
 boats got so far ahead that they missed what they were watching 
 for. 
 
 The Malvern lay in the middle of the line. I had no idea that 
 any torpedo-boat would trouble us, and was just going to bed when 
 shouts attracted my attention, and I heard orders for the boats to 
 shove off from several vessels. Then came pistol-shots and hurrahs 
 enough to account for half a dozen torpedo-boats. 
 
 "Thank fortune !" I said to Captain Breese, "I have been 
 looking out for rams and torpedo-boats for the last three years, and 
 have never yet seen one ; but I think we ll get this fellow sure if 
 they only carry out my orders." 
 
 By this time the river was alive with boats dashing by in des 
 perate efforts to reach the scene of conflict, and, as they came up 
 with the enemy, they joined in with loud cheers. "There he 
 goes ! " I heard them shout. " Head him off ! " " Here he comes ! " 
 " Give him a volley ! " This shouting and firing continued for sev 
 eral minutes, and I wondered why they did not board the enemy, 
 saying to the captain, " That thing will get a crack at some of the 
 vessels above us, and if they sink one it will block the game on us, 
 for there is only room for one vessel to go along at a time. The 
 channel has but eleven feet of water, and is only sixty feet wide. 
 Why don t they board, as I ordered them to do ? " 
 
 Then the vessels above commenced firing howitzers and mus 
 ketry. "That is sheer folly," I said. "They will never capture 
 the thing in that way. That vessel is probably a turtle-back, with 
 an inch thickness of iron. He ll sink one of those vessels as sure 
 as a gun. Jump into the boat, pull up there, and tell them to 
 board the thing, whatever it is, at all hazards." 
 
"AN IRISH TORPEDO-BOAT." 277 
 
 The captain shoved off, and in five minutes the strange vessel 
 seemed to be coming down on us. " Look out ! " I heard them 
 shout, "Give it to him!" "Now s your chance !" Then a volley 
 of musketry and three cheers. 
 
 " Here he comes ! " shouted the lookout in the forecastle, " and 
 all the boats after him," and, sure enough, the boats were all pull 
 ing after the thing and making a great clatter as they laid to their 
 oars. 
 
 All the vessels had lanterns over the side, and one vessel incau 
 tiously burned a " Coston signal/ which for a moment made every 
 thing as light as day. 
 
 To my great relief a shout arose, " We ve got him ! Tie on to 
 him ! Double-bank him with boats ! " and such shouting and 
 cheering as only sailors can accomplish. 
 
 The struggle was ended, the enemy was ours. I heard an 
 officer give the order to " take the enemy in tow and stop their 
 noise." 
 
 I thought to myself, "I must issue an order to-morrow rebuk 
 ing the officers and men for making so much noise," and when 
 Captain Breese returned alongside I tried to appear indifferent. 
 
 "Well, sir, we got him," said the captain. 
 
 " And a time they had of it. Why didn t those fellows do as I 
 told them jam his screw with the nets ? " I inquired. 
 
 " He hadn t any screw, sir," replied the captain. 
 
 " Then what had he ? " I inquired. 
 
 The captain laughed. "It was something worse than a ram ; 
 it was the biggest lull I ever saw. He was swimming across the 
 channel when he was first espied. I don t wonder they took him 
 for a torpedo-boat, he got through the water at such a rate." 
 
 " A bull ! " I exclaimed. " And so I am not to see a ram after 
 all. Tell them to keep a good lookout, notwithstanding the cap 
 ture of the bull," and I laughed heartily at this absurd episode 
 so much more ridiculous in reality than even in the narration. 
 
 That evening General Schofield, who had assumed command of 
 the army after the capture of Fort Fisher, had landed some troops 
 to take Fort Anderson in the rear, and at eight next morning (Feb 
 ruary 18th) I attacked Fort Anderson with all the gun-boats, which, 
 with their newly mounted eleven-inch guns, soon silenced the ene 
 my s guns, and the Confederates abandoned the work and fled, to 
 avoid capture by our troops coming up in their rear. 
 
 Off we went again on our way up river till at a point where the 
 
278 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 water was shoal. Fort Strong, on the left bank, opened on us and 
 succeeded in boring some good holes in our vessels ; but, with the 
 aid of our eleven-inch guns, in twenty minutes we had all the firing 
 to ourselves, the enemy evacuating the fort, on which we hoisted 
 our flag. An hour later the army marched into Wilmington, and 
 we were masters of the situation. 
 
 I reached Wilmington on the afternoon of February 22, 1865, 
 soon after the army had entered the city. The river-bank was 
 covered with negroes, and, as soon as the vessels arrived, a salute 
 was fired in honor of the day, causing the darkies to suddenly scat 
 ter in all directions, under the impression that we were bombard 
 ing the town. 
 
 While we were at Fort Strong a contraband informed us that 
 the enemy were going to let a hundred torpedoes drift down upon 
 us at night and blow us all to pieces ! I therefore ordered a double 
 line of fishing-nets spread across the river, so as to intercept any 
 visitors of this sort. It was a bright moonlight night, and, al 
 though we had little faith in the negro s story, we kept a good 
 lookout all the same. 
 
 At about eight o clock I saw a barrel drifting down the river, 
 and, hailing the Shawmut, directed them to send a boat and see 
 what it was. Acting Ensign Trufant was in command of the boat, 
 and, pulling close to the barrel, fired his pistol into it, whereupon 
 it exploded, dangerously wounding the officer and killing two and 
 wounding several of the crew. 
 
 The barrel was a floating torpedo which in some unaccountable 
 manner had got past the nets, and the contraband s information 
 was correct. 
 
 A short time afterward a torpedo caught in the Osceola s wheel 
 and knocked the wheel-house to pieces, knocked down some of her 
 bulkheads, and disturbed things generally. 
 
 The torpedo-nets intercepted many of the same kind of devices, 
 which were sunk next morning by firing musketry at them from a 
 safe distance. But for the information given by the contraband 
 which led to the precaution of setting the nets, I might have lost 
 several of my vessels that night. 
 
 The night after we arrived at Wilmington we had another alarm. 
 The vessel highest up the river opened fire on something, the next 
 one took it up, and so did all the others until it came to my ves 
 sel, when I discovered through my night-glass a large steam launch 
 floating down stream. She was towed alongside, and it proved to 
 
AFFECTIONATE GREETING BY MR. STANTON. 279 
 
 be the same launch in which I had sent Gushing to blow up the 
 Albemarle a few weeks previous. 
 
 After the destruction of the Albemarle the torpedo-vessel fell 
 into the hands of the enemy, and was sent to Cape Fear River to 
 operate against our vessels ; but the Confederates were not lucky 
 with torpedo-boats, so she again fell into our hands. 
 
 The events occurring on the Cape Fear River and about Fort 
 Fisher and Wilmington would make an interesting book, but I can 
 spare but little space for them here. I will, however, mention one 
 incident which occurred the day after the capture of Fort Fisher. 
 
 I was in a steam launch on the river, directing in person how to 
 get over the bar, when I saw a large steamer anchor near the flag 
 ship, while the latter fired a salute of fifteen guns, which meant 
 that some high functionary had come into port. I soon learned 
 that Mr. Stanton, the Secretary of War, had arrived. He had 
 been to Savannah to see General Sherman, and stopped in at Fort 
 Fisher, not knowing it had fallen. 
 
 I immediately went on board to see Mr. Stanton, whom I found 
 seated at the head of the dinner-table with a napkin under his chin. 
 He arose and put his arms around my neck and kissed me im 
 agine such a thing of Mr. Stanton ! "I love you," he said, "the 
 President loves you, the people love you, for you have " but I re 
 frain from stating the reason assigned by Mr. Stanton for the deep 
 affection with which I was universally regarded ; but it was not for 
 my part in the capture of Fort Fisher. 
 
 " What can I do for you ? " said Mr. Stanton. " Ask anything, 
 and you shall have it if it s in my power to give it." 
 
 "Thank you," I said, "I want nothing for myself, but you 
 can do me a great favor by promoting General Terry on the spot. 
 He has done his duty like a good soldier, and his reward should not 
 be postponed." 
 
 Mr. Stanton ordered General Terry to be sent for immediately, 
 and, while we were awaiting his arrival, Mr. Stanton opened his 
 heart to me on a subject which, as it was strictly confidential, I 
 forbear to repeat. 
 
 When General Terry came on board, the Secretary of War re 
 ceived him with great warmth, and, after some conversation, retired 
 with his private secretary into the after-cabin, where he remained 
 for about twenty minutes. 
 
 General Terry had been up all the preceding night, and was 
 worn out with fatigue ; and his brother, who accompanied him on 
 
280 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 board, went to sleep with his head leaning against the cabin-door, 
 where he slept and snored to the amusement of the company. 
 
 When the secretary reappeared he presented the general with 
 an official document containing an appointment of Major-General 
 of Volunteers, and then shook the general s brother by the shoulder. 
 "Wake up, young man," he said ; " here s something for you." 
 
 Young Terry opened his eyes and stammered an apology for 
 falling asleep in the presence of such high functionaries, but, when 
 he looked at the paper given him by Mr. Stanton, he rubbed his 
 eyes as if he thought himself dreaming. " By Jove," he said, "I 
 went to sleep a captain and woke up a major." I think General 
 Terry and his brother were two as contented men as I had seen for 
 some time. 
 
 Mr. Stanton was a much-abused man, yet when he did anything 
 to reward an officer he did it gracefully and liberally unlike the 
 head of the Navy Department, who, so far from thanking me for 
 my efforts at Fort Fisher, wrote me a rude letter because I had 
 given the five oldest officers of the squadron commendatory letters 
 when we parted after the capture of the fort. 
 
 General Terry took no horses with him to Fort Fisher. He was 
 lame at the time, and could not sit on a horse. I accordingly sent 
 an officer to Smithville to procure me a horse and buggy the best 
 he could find. The officer departed at once in a double-banked 
 boat, and, on arriving at the little town, found a doctor s horse 
 and gig standing in front of that gentleman s house. The officer 
 jumped into the buggy and drove off not a very polite thing to 
 do, but it was a case of military necessity and, getting horse and 
 buggy into the boat, brought them both down to me. There 
 chanced to be nobody around at the time, as the town was nearly 
 deserted, so no one witnessed the abstraction of the doctor s equi 
 page ; but when the unfortunate physician came out of the house 
 he couldn t understand what had become of his horse and buggy. 
 He could not suppose that the reliable animal had run away, and 
 no one around there would have stolen him, so for some time the 
 doctor was in a high state of excitement. 
 
 General Terry was much pleased with the horse, and could have 
 been seen early and late traveling around in the doctor s gig, attend 
 ing to military matters, for Terry had no liking for fuss and feath 
 ers, and cared little for outward appearances so long as he was 
 comfortable. 
 
 When we were done with the horse and buggy they were sent 
 
THE PRESIDENT VISITS CITY POINT. 281 
 
 back one morning before daylight, and when the owner arose from 
 his slumbers he found the faithful steed standing patiently at the 
 door with a good supply of oats in the vehicle. 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 THE PRESIDENT VISITS CITY POINT BECOMES A GUEST ON" THE 
 MALVERN ANXIETY TO HAVE THE ARMY MOVE ON THE ENE 
 MY S WORKS TWO MIRACLES EVACUATION OF PETERSBURG 
 THREE LITTLE KITTENS PRESIDENT REFUSES TO SEE VICE- 
 PRESIDENT JOHNSON AND PRESTON KING HOW MUCH WILL 
 YOU TAKE FOR THAT TRICK ? VISIT TO PETERSBURG THREE 
 CHEERS FOR UNCLE ABE CAN T WE MAKE A NOISE ? FOUR 
 CONFEDERATE IRONCLADS BLOWN UP THE PRESIDENT VISITS 
 RICHMOND AN OVATION WORTHY OF AN EMPEROR A NEGRO 
 PATRIARCH ENTRANCE INTO RICHMOND A BOUQUET OF FLOW 
 ERS FROM A PRETTY GIRL PRESIDENT LINCOLN IN PRESI 
 DENT DAVIS S MANSION RETURN ON BOARD THE MALVERN 
 A VISIT FROM THE LATE JUSTICE CAMPBELL A VISIT FROM 
 DUFF GREEN COMPLICATIONS RETURN TO CITY POINT A 
 GENERAL WHO WENT OFF IN A FIZZLE. 
 
 IN the latter part of March, 1865, the President came down to 
 City Point, with some members of his family, in a large steamer 
 called the River Queen. He came, in the first place, for rest ; he 
 looked much worn out with his responsibilities since I had last seen 
 him, and needed the repose he sought. He was also very much in 
 terested that the army should move upon the enemy, and, though 
 I am quite sure that he had the most unbounded confidence in 
 General Grant and his judgment, yet I am of opinion that he con 
 sidered himself a good judge of the time when operations should 
 commence. 
 
 The Army of the James was to have moved some days sooner 
 than it did, but it came on to rain, and with such effect upon the 
 ground that it was impossible for the troops to move at all. 
 
 Infantry, of course, can always move, but it would have been 
 an impossibility to move baggage and artillery. 
 
 At this moment it was desirable that no mistakes should be 
 
282 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 made, and that the army should not move a day sooner than was 
 necessary. Every day was improving our condition and making 
 that of the Confederacy worse. All the ports along the coast had 
 been captured ; blockade-running was at an end, and the Con 
 federates could no longer depend upon the sea for supplies. What 
 they did obtain at that time was from their own resources, and 
 these were very small indeed. How they ever managed to main 
 tain their armies was a mystery to me, and must have astonished 
 the military men of our side who had splendid commissariats to 
 draw from. 
 
 General Grant most likely knew to a day when the enemy s 
 provisions would give out, and when they would ask to surrender ; 
 he was preparing to move when President Lincoln came down. 
 
 The President was evidently nervous ; the enormous expense of 
 the war seemed to weigh upon him like an incubus ; he could not 
 keep away from General Grant s tent, and was constantly inquiring 
 when he was going to move ; though, if he had looked at the 
 wagons, stuck fast in the thick red mud of the surrounding 
 country, he would have known why no army could operate. 
 
 I attached myself to the President at his own request, and did 
 all I could to interest him by taking him up and down the river in 
 my barge, or driving about the country in General Ingals s buggy 
 with two fine horses. I saw that, without being aware of it, he 
 was pushing General Grant to move more than circumstances justi 
 fied, and I did all I could to withdraw his attention from the sub 
 ject. 
 
 Mr. Lincoln had a wonderful faculty for understanding the 
 topography of a country, and he was quite familiar with the one in 
 which the army was about to operate ; he carried a small chart in 
 his pocket, on which were marked all the rivers and hills about 
 Richmond, with the city itself, and the different points where 
 General Lee had his forces posted, the lines of defense, and, in 
 fact, all the information that a general of an army wanted. 
 
 During our rides which were always within the lines he 
 would stop and spread out his chart on his knees and point out to 
 me what he would do if he were the general commanding, taking 
 good care, at the same time, never to interfere in any way with 
 General Grant, whom, I rather think, he considered the better 
 strategist of the two. 
 
 I had often heard of the wonderful power of the President in 
 telling anecdotes, but no one could form an adequate idea of his 
 
CHARACTERISTICS OF PRESIDENT LINCOLN. 283 
 
 ability in this line unless he had been alone with him for ten days 
 as I was. He had an illustration for everything, and if anything 
 particular attracted his attention, he would say, "That reminds 
 me of something that occurred when I was a lawyer in Illinois," or, 
 "when I was a boatman on the Mississippi." He was not at all 
 ashamed of any business he had ever been engaged in, because it 
 was honest business, and he made an honest living by it ; and he 
 told me many stories of his earlier life, which were as creditable to 
 him as anything he was engaged in while occupying a higher 
 sphere. 
 
 Mr. Lincoln seemed to me to be familiar with the name, char 
 acter, and reputation of every officer of rank in the army and navy, 
 and appeared to understand them better than some whose business 
 it was to do so ; he had many a good story to tell of nearly all, and 
 if he could have lived to write the anecdotes of the war, I am sure 
 he would have furnished the most readable book of the century. 
 
 To me he was one of the most interesting men I ever met ; he 
 had an originality about him which was peculiarly his own, and 
 one felt, when with him, as if he could confide his dearest secret to 
 him with absolute security against its betrayal. There, it might be 
 said, was " God s noblest work an honest man," and such he was, 
 all through. I have not a particle of the bump of veneration on 
 my head, but I saw more to admire in this man, more to reverence, 
 than I had believed possible ; he had a load to bear that few men 
 could carry, yet he traveled on with it, foot-sore and weary, but 
 without complaint ; rather, on the contrary, cheering those who 
 would faint on the roadside. He was not a demonstrative man, so 
 no one will ever know, amid all the trials he underwent, how much 
 he had to contend with, and how often he was called upon to sacri 
 fice his own opinions to those of others, who, he felt, did not know 
 as much about matters at issue as he did himself. When he did 
 surrender, it was always with a pleasant manner, winding up with 
 a characteristic story. 
 
 In the strife between the North and the South there was no 
 bitterness in Mr. Lincoln s composition ; he seemed to think only 
 that he had an unpleasant duty to perform, and endeavored to per 
 form it as smoothly as possible. He would, without doubt, have 
 yielded a good deal to the South, only that he kept his duty con 
 stantly before his eyes, and that was the compass by which he 
 steered at all times. The results of a battle pained him as much as 
 if he was receiving the wounds himself, for I have often heard him 
 
284: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 express himself in. pained accents while talking over some of the 
 scenes of the war ; he was not the man to assume a character for 
 feelings he did not possess ; he was as guileless in some respects as 
 a child. How could one avoid liking such a man ? 
 
 The vessel he came up in the Eiver Queen went off to Nor 
 folk a day or two after his arrival at City Point, and I invited him, 
 or rather he invited himself, to stay with me on board the flag-ship 
 Malvern, which was a small vessel with poor accommodations, and 
 not at all fitted to receive high personages. She was a captured 
 blockade-runner, and had been given to me as a flag-ship. I re 
 tained her because she was small and drew but little water, and I 
 could run about in her night and day, enter shoal harbors and 
 inlets, and altogether she suited me. 
 
 I had only one large state-room in the cabin, one small after 
 cabin that would hold a sofa and four chairs, and a small forward 
 cabin that would dine ten. I could not " sling a cat around by 
 the tail," but then I did not want to do that, so the arrangements 
 were to my taste. It was in this unpretentious place that I in 
 vited the President to accept my hospitality, and he accepted it 
 with as little formality as if it was his own home he was going into. 
 What pleased him was that he got away from the outer world ; no 
 one could get at him but those whom he desired to see ; no one 
 could intrude upon his privacy, and he slept with every guard 
 about him so far as his personal safety was concerned that he 
 could desire. 
 
 What he liked best of all was that no one could ask him for an 
 office. 
 
 I offered the President my bed, but he positively declined it, 
 and elected to sleep in a small state-room outside of the cabin, 
 occupied by my secretary. It was the smallest kind of a room, six 
 feet long by four and a half feet wide a small room for the Presi 
 dent of the United States to be domesticated in, but Mr. Lincoln 
 was pleased with it. He told me, at parting, that the few days he 
 had spent on board the Malvern were among the pleasantest in his 
 life. 
 
 When the President retired for his first night on board, he put 
 his shoes and socks outside the state-room door. I am sorry to say 
 the President s socks had holes in them ; but they were washed and 
 darned, his boots cleaned, and the whole placed at his door. 
 
 When he came to breakfast he remarked : 
 
 "A miracle happened to me last night. When I went to bed I 
 
PRESIDENT LINCOLN ON BOARD THE MALVERN. 285 
 
 had two large holes in my socks, and this morning there are no 
 holes in them. That never happened to me before ; it must be a 
 miracle ! " 
 
 "How did you sleep ?" I inquired. 
 
 "I slept well," he answered, "but you can t put a long blade 
 into a short scabbard. I was too long for that berth." Then I 
 remembered he was over six feet four inches, while the berth was 
 only six feet. 
 
 That day, while we were out of the ship, all the carpenters were 
 put to work ; the state-room was taken down and increased in size 
 to eight feet by six and a half feet. The mattress was widened to 
 suit a berth of four feet width, and the entire state-room remod 
 eled. 
 
 Nothing was said to the President about the change in his quar 
 ters when he went to bed, but next morning he came out smiling, 
 and said: "A greater miracle than ever happened last night; I 
 shrank six inches in length and about a foot sideways. I got 
 somebody else s big pillow, and slept in a better bed than I did on 
 the River Queen, though not half as lively." He enjoyed it 
 hugely, but I do think if I had given him two fence-rails to sleep 
 on he would not have found fault. That was Abraham Lincoln in 
 all things relating to his own comfort. He would never permit 
 people to put themselves out for him under any circumstances. 
 
 That day I handed him a telegram from Mr. Seward, reading, 
 " Shall I come down and join you ?" 
 
 "No," he said, "I don t want him. Telegraph him that the 
 berths are too small, and there s not room for another passenger. 
 
 " But," I said, " I can provide for him if you desire his presence." 
 
 " Tell him, then, I don t want him ; he d talk to me all day 
 about Vattel and Puffendorf. The war will be over in a week, and 
 I don t want to hear any more of that." So Mr. Seward did not 
 come. Mr. Lincoln was determined that none of his Cabinet 
 should come down to City Point, where he intended to propose the 
 terms of surrender himself. He had made up his mind that this 
 fraternal strife should cease in one way or another. I don t know 
 what his conversations with General Grant were, but, from the 
 tenor of his conversations with me, I know that he was determined 
 the Confederacy should have the most liberal terms. " Get them 
 to plowing once," he said, "and gathering in their own little crops, 
 eating pop-corn at their own firesides, and you can t get them to 
 shoulder a musket again for half a century. " 
 
286 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 He did not want any of his Cabinet down there to contest the 
 views he had formed in regard to this matter, nor to try to turn 
 him from his plans. 
 
 I think General Grant started his army off four days sooner 
 than he would have done had not the President been so anxious to 
 bring the war to a conclusion, for that was what moving meant. 
 Any one who knew anything about the war knew that when our 
 army approached Petersburg or Richmond, at that time, it meant 
 the surrender or annihilation of the Southern army. They had 
 nothing left to fight on, and though they might have made a des 
 perate defense, yet the men who led them to battle would have 
 been simply committing murder. 
 
 When our army did get some twenty miles away from City 
 Point the artillery stuck fast in the thick red soil, and General 
 Meade told me afterward that it sometimes took eight horses to 
 haul a field-piece clear of the mud. It would have been a bad thing 
 to be caught in that way. 
 
 As the army advanced, a telegraph-wire was laid out and a tele 
 graph-office established under the direction of Colonel Bowers, who 
 collected all the dispatches. The President used to sit there nearly 
 all day receiving telegrams, and I sat therewith him. "Here," 
 he said once, taking out his little chart, "they are at this point, 
 and Sheridan is just starting off up this road. That will bring 
 about a crisis." 
 
 "Now let us go to dinner ; Fd like to peck a little." 
 
 Then we came back and received the news of the evacuation of 
 Petersburg. "We will go there to-morrow," he said. 
 
 There were three little kittens running about the hut in which 
 the telegraph-office was situated. Mr. Lincoln picked them all up 
 and put them on his little chart on the table. This was a step 
 from the sublime, it is true, but it showed the feelings of the man 
 at a moment when the fate of a nation was hanging in the scales. 
 He could find time to look at God s creatures and be solicitous for 
 their comfort. 
 
 "There," he said, "you poor, little, miserable creatures, what 
 brought you into this camp of warriors ? Where is your mother ? " 
 
 "The mother is dead," said the colonel. 
 
 "Then she can t grieve for them as many a poor mother is 
 grieving for the sons who have fallen in battle, and who will still 
 grieve if this surrender does not take place without bloodshed. Ah, 
 kitties, thank God you are cats, and can t understand this terrible 
 
THE PRESIDENT DECLINES TO RECEIVE SOME VISITORS. 287 
 
 strife that is going on. There, now, go, my little friends," he con 
 tinued, wiping the dirt from their eyes with his handkerchief; 
 "that is all I can do for you. Colonel, get them some milk, and 
 don t let them starve ; there is too much starvation going on in this 
 land anyhow ; mitigate it when we can." 
 
 Just then a midshipman came up to the door of the hut with a 
 message for me from Commodore Kadford. He informed me that 
 Vice-President Johnson and Preston King were on board the Mal- 
 vern, and wished to pay their respects to the President. 
 
 I never saw such a change in any one in my life as took place 
 in Mr. Lincoln at this announcement. He jumped up from the 
 chair where he had been playing with the kittens and rushed to 
 the door where the young officer was delivering his message. The 
 President was greatly excited, and the habitual benevolent expres 
 sion had left his face ; he was almost frantic. "Don t let those 
 men come into my presence," he said. "I won t see either of 
 them ; send them away. They have no business here, any way ; 
 no right to come down here without my permission. I won t see 
 them now, and never want to lay eyes on them. I don t care what 
 you do with them, nor where you send them, but don t let them 
 come near me ! " and he sat down in his chair looking like a man 
 it would be dangerous for any one to anger. 
 
 " Certainly, Mr. President," I said, " your wishes shall be at 
 tended to. I will see that you never meet either of these gentle 
 men." 
 
 I told the midshipman to go back to Commodore Eadford and 
 tell him " the President could receive no one to-day nor to-mor 
 row " ; to go on board my ship and get all the champagne and 
 cigars and other liquors, and entertain the two gentlemen on board 
 the Phlox (Radford s dispatch-boat), and take them where he 
 pleased, but under no circumstances to let them come in the Presi 
 dent s way. Mr. Lincoln heard all the message, and when I went 
 into the hut again he was sitting there as composed as if nothing 
 had occurred to disturb his equanimity, while the usual benevolent 
 expression shone on his face as before. 
 
 He never referred to those two gentlemen again, and I never 
 knew, nor could I imagine, why he was disturbed at the announce 
 ment of their names. 
 
 I have my own impressions on the subject, but don t care to put 
 them on paper. 
 
 Commodore Radford did as I requested ; took them off some- 
 
288 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 where and entertained them. He made a strong friend of Mr. 
 Johnson, who looked after his interests while he was in the White 
 House, and I, without intending it, made a strong enemy, with 
 whom, however, I made it a rule never to come in contact. 
 
 The day after this occurrence Mr. Lincoln received a message 
 from General Grant informing him that a railway-car would be 
 ready for him at City Point, that he could come out on the rail 
 road which ran within a few miles of Petersburg, and that he would 
 find horses at the nearest point to take him to the city. 
 
 In consequence, we prepared to start at the appointed time. 
 The President got into the car of which I was the only other occu 
 pant, seated himself, and, as he never lost any time, proceeded to 
 read his newspapers. 
 
 There was no assembling of crowds in those days to witness the 
 going or coming of a President ; people had too much to do. Time 
 was money, and those found loitering had their pay docked ; so we 
 passed along unnoticed. 
 
 I wore a naval cap which had been copied from those worn by 
 railroad conductors, and a blue flannel short sack with four small 
 navy-buttons on it. I might easily have been mistaken for a con 
 ductor. 
 
 I was standing on the front of the car, having locked the rear 
 door to prevent any one from intruding upon the President. We 
 expected the locomotive every minute. Three men came up to the 
 car; they were nicely enough dressed had even white cravats, 
 which would seem to indicate that they were either divines or theo 
 logical students, but I could tell at a glance that they were neither 
 of these ; they had not a clerical look aside from their neck- wear, 
 and, to save my life, I could not have placed them. They were 
 impudent enough to be anything. 
 
 One of them spoke. "Conductor," he said to me, "is that the 
 President?" 
 
 "Yes," I answered, "it is." 
 
 " We want to see him," said the other. 
 
 " Can t do it," I replied. 
 
 " Who will prevent us ? " said the first. 
 
 " I will ; the President won t see any one." 
 
 " He will see us," was the retort, " and see him we must." 
 
 "It can not be done," I said ; "the President can not be in 
 truded upon." 
 
 "We will see for ourselves," said the stranger. "You don t 
 
INTRUDERS WARDED OFF. 289 
 
 know. Have you any orders to prevent persons from approaching 
 the President ? " 
 
 "No," I said, "none. I do it on my own responsibility." 
 
 " Then, in that case, you have taken a responsibility quite un 
 authorized, and we will call." 
 
 With that two of them came up on the platform. I merely 
 closed the car-door, and put my hand on the door-knob. 
 
 "Will you let us pass ?" said one of the white neck-ties. 
 
 "You can pass on over the platform," I said, "but nowhere 
 else ; you can t pass through this door." 
 
 " Who will stop us ? " queried the white ties. 
 
 " I will, if possible," I answered. 
 
 At that they all laughed ; they were well-made fellows, and, be 
 ing quite conscious they could master me, they became very inso 
 lent. 
 
 All this time the President was apparently reading his news 
 paper, but in reality looking over the top of it, very much amused 
 at the controversy going on between me and the white ties. He 
 said afterward that he would have come to my assistance and 
 ordered them away, only he thought I could manage to get rid of 
 them. 
 
 The two men on the platform, having expended all their elo 
 quence on me, and finding me decidedly opposed to their entry, 
 proceeded to extremities. One put his hand on mine to remove it 
 from the knob, and the other took me by the shoulder. 
 
 Quick as thought both the white ties were sprawling in the 
 mud one at each side of the car and they were invited up to try 
 it again, with the information that the next time they ventured 
 upon the car they would get a pistol-ball through them. 
 
 I had no pistol ; I only told them so for effect. 
 
 They were very angry at their unceremonious removal, but did 
 not care to attack the citadel again. The engine had now arrived 
 and hitched on, and off we went on our way. But what a careless 
 thing it was to be going about with the President without a guard 
 to protect him ! I never thought of any danger to him at the time. 
 Our people were not given to assassination, and if any one had told 
 me that the President stood in danger of his life, I would have 
 laughed at him. 
 
 There were no guards to be obtained at City Point ; every sol 
 dier had gone with the army. I might have brought some marines, 
 but, conn dent in my own ability to keep off loafers, I neglected 
 19 
 
290 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 to take any cautionary measures, and I only wonder that the catas 
 trophe which finally took place did not occur while the President 
 was at City Point there were so many opportunities. 
 
 Mr. Lincoln laughed heartily when he saw the two white ties 
 lying in the mud, .and wanted to know " how much I would sell 
 that trick for. I intend," he continued, " never to travel again 
 unless you go along." 
 
 We arrived at Petersburg Landing, and found Lieutenant 
 Eobert Lincoln the President s son there with horses for the 
 President and his son "Tad," but none for me. The escort was 
 not a very large one, consisting only of the lieutenant, a sergeant, 
 and three or four troopers ; it was all in keeping with the Presi 
 dent s retinue since he first started on this expedition, but it never 
 seemed to strike him as wanting in any way. 
 
 He was much amused all the time, and particularly so when I 
 got one of the soldiers to dismount and let me have his raw-boned 
 white horse, a hard trotter, and a terrible stumbler. How the 
 Government became possessed of such an animal the Lord only 
 knows. 
 
 I won t pretend to describe my adventures on that horse, and 
 the number of times he ran away with me the only way by which 
 I could keep up with the President, who was splendidly mounted 
 but we finally reached Petersburg in safety, and were received at 
 headquarters. 
 
 I had no sooner arrived than I inquired of Lieutenant Dunn, 
 one of Grant s staff, if I could buy the horse upon which I had rid 
 den. He said he thought I could, and would see the quartermaster 
 about it ; but the President, who heard our conversation, put in a 
 protest. 
 
 " Why in the name of all that s good do you want that horse, 
 Admiral ?" exclaimed the President. "Just look at him first ; his 
 head is as big as a flour-barrel ! " 
 
 " That s the case with all horses heads," I said. 
 
 " Well, look at his knees ; they re sprung. He s fourteen years 
 old if he s a day ; his hoofs will cover half an acre. He s spavined, 
 and only has one eye. What do you want with him ? You sailors 
 don t know anything about a horse. Get some of these soldier 
 fellows to pick you out a beast and you will get a good one. Don t 
 you let him buy that horse, Mr. Dunn ; get him a good one." 
 
 "But I want it for a particular purpose," I said ; "I want to 
 buy it and shoot it, so that no one else will ever ride it again." 
 
"THREE CHEERS FOR UNCLE ABE." 291 
 
 That pleased the President mightily ; he said it was the best 
 reason he had ever heard for buying a horse. 
 
 We spent a most agreeable day at Petersburg. The streets were 
 alive with negroes, who were crazy to see their savior, as they 
 called the President ; and it was found necessary at last to eject 
 them from the doorways vi et armis. 
 
 The tobacco-stores were all open, and every one seemed to be 
 helping himself to the delicious weed. It was mostly put up in 
 small bales of three pounds each. Some one presented me with 
 four packages, and I tied them upon the saddle of my horse, which 
 I had determined to ride back again by way of enjoying a better 
 horse in case I should ever come across one. 
 
 The President took a fancy to have four little bales also ; they 
 were a genuine curiosity to him, and Tad wanted four bales be 
 cause his father had them. 
 
 Thus accoutred, we started out on the return journey, my horse 
 cutting all kinds of capers without being able to throw me. The 
 President paid me a high compliment. " Admiral," he said, " you 
 mistook your profession ; you ought to have been a circus-rider. I 
 don t think there s another man in the United States, besides his 
 owner, who could ride that horse half a mile." 
 
 Several regiments passed us en route, and they all seemed to 
 recognize the President at once. "Three cheers for Uncle Abe !" 
 passed along among them, and the cheers were given with a vim 
 which showed the estimation in which he was held by the soldiers 
 a class of men who had in their ranks as much intelligence as any 
 in the country ; more real, good common sense than many others, 
 and who understood the situation of affairs as well, if not better, 
 than those who pretended to more wisdom. One good-natured 
 fellow sang out, "We ll get em, Abe, where the boy had the 
 hen ; you go home, and sleep sound to-night ; we boys will put 
 you through ! " It was not a very courtier-like speech, certainly ; 
 it was homely and honest ; and so they cheered us all along the 
 road. 
 
 In the mean time Grant continued his approaches on toward 
 Eichmond until he reached the Appomattox apple-tree where 
 General Lee surrendered, with all the troops and appurtenances 
 under his immediate command. 
 
 While these movements were taking place the President, my 
 self, and Tad were making excursions up and down the James 
 River in my barge. We would make fast to a tug with a long line, 
 
292 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 and let her tow us. If this is not the luxury of locomotion, I don t 
 know what is, and it certainly seemed very grateful to the President 
 then. He said he should always look upon this time as the real 
 holiday of his administration. He seemed almost to forget that he 
 had any public cares. He knew that the war was practically over, 
 and he never thought of the future but as a vision of bright pros 
 perity, wherein, with the black spot scratched from our escutcheon, 
 we would move on as a liberty-loving people, and attain the high 
 est position among the nations of the earth. 
 
 Poor man ! he little thought then how short was the time in 
 which he would be allowed to contemplate the new state of affairs, 
 and how many years would elapse before the millennium he dreamed 
 of could be established. Perhaps it was a wise dispensation of 
 Providence which took him from after-scenes so little in accord 
 ance with his feelings, wherein he would not have been permitted 
 to indulge in the whole-souled plans he had formed for the recon 
 struction of the Republic. 
 
 About this time we heard of the arrival of Sherman at Newbern 
 after his march to the sea, and he was now confronting General Joe 
 Johnston in a position whence the latter would have to fight his 
 way or surrender. This was good news to the President. "If 
 proper terms are offered," he said to me, "and with wise manage 
 ment, these two armies will lay down their arms in a week, and 
 then all the Confederate armies will follow their example. It will 
 be like those rows of bricks boys sometimes put up : knock down 
 the first one, and the rest all follow. The Confederates are tired of 
 it, and so are we." 
 
 The night before Richmond was evacuated by the Confederate 
 forces we were sitting on the Malvern s upper deck, enjoying the 
 evening air. The President, who had been some time quiet, turned 
 to me and said, " Can t the navy do something at this particular 
 moment to make history ? " 
 
 "Not much," I replied ; " the navy is doing its best just now 
 holding in utter uselessness the rebel navy, consisting of four heavy 
 ironclads. If those should get down to City Point they would 
 commit great havoc as they came near doing while I was away at 
 Fort Fisher. In consequence, we filled up the river with stones so 
 that no vessels can pass either way. It enables us to hold the fort 
 with a very small force, but quite sufficient to prevent any one from 
 removing the obstructions. Therefore the rebels ironclads are use 
 less to them." 
 
FOUR CONFEDERATE IRONCLADS BLOWN UP. 293 
 
 " But can t we make a noise ? " asked the President ; " that 
 would be refreshing." 
 
 "Yes," I replied, " we can make a noise ; and, if you desire it, 
 I will commence." 
 
 "Well, make a noise," he said. 
 
 I sent a telegram to Captain Breese, just above Dutch Gap, to 
 commence firing the starboard broadside guns of the vessels above, 
 to have the guns loaded with shrapnel, and to fire in the direction 
 of the forts without attempting any particular aim, to fire rapidly, 
 and to keep it up until I told him to stop. The firing commenced 
 about nine o clock, the hour when all good soldiers and sailors turn 
 in and take their rest. 
 
 The President admitted that the noise was a very respectable 
 one, and listened to it attentively, while the rapid flashes of the guns 
 lit up the whole horizon. 
 
 In about twenty minutes there was a loud explosion which shook 
 the vessel. 
 
 The President jumped from his chair. " I hope to Heaven one 
 of them has not blown up ! " he exclaimed. 
 
 "No, sir," I replied. " My ear detects that the sound was at 
 least two miles farther up the river ; it is one of the rebel iron 
 clads. You will hear another in a minute." 
 
 " Well," he said, " our noise has done some good ; that s a cheap 
 way of getting rid of ironclads. I am certain Richmond is being 
 evacuated, and that Lee has surrendered, or those fellows would not 
 blow up their ironclads." 
 
 Just then there was a second explosion, and two more followed 
 close after. 
 
 " That is all of them," I said ; "no doubt the forts are all evacu 
 ated, and to-morrow we can go up to Richmond. I will telegraph 
 to Captain Breese to take the obstructions up to-night, or at least 
 enough of them to let the Malvern go through." 
 
 The telegram was sent, and the work of moving the obstruc 
 tions commenced at once. It was completed by eight o clock the 
 following morning, and several of the smaller vessels went 
 through, got their boats out, and began sweeping the river for 
 torpedoes. 
 
 At daylight it was discovered that all the forts had been set on 
 fire and evacuated, and nothing was to be seen of the ironclads but 
 their black hulls partly out of water. 
 
 General Weitzel, who commanded the army on the left of the 
 
294: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 James, was marching into Richmond, and the whole tragedy was 
 over. 
 
 "Thank God," said the President, fervently, "that I have 
 lived to see this ! It seems to me that I have been dreaming a 
 horrid dream for four years, and now the nightmare is gone. I 
 want to see Kichmond." 
 
 " If there is any of it left," I added. " There is a black smoke 
 over the city, but before we can go up we must remove all the tor 
 pedoes ; the river is full of them above Hewlit s Battery." It would 
 have been simple destruction to attempt to go up there while the 
 Confederates were in charge, and we could not have accomplished 
 anything without a loss of life and vessels that would have been 
 unjustifiable ; it was better as it was, and the only course was to 
 co-operate with the general of the army according to his own desire. 
 
 "When the channel was reported clear of torpedoes (a large 
 number of which were taken up), I proceeded up to Richmond in 
 the Malvern, with President Lincoln on board the River Queen, and 
 a heavy feeling of responsibility on my mind, notwithstanding the 
 great care that had been taken to clear the river. 
 
 Every vessel that got through the obstructions wished to be the 
 first one up, and pushed ahead with all steam ; but they grounded, 
 one after another, the Malvern passing them all, until she also took 
 the ground. Not to be delayed, I took the President in my barge, 
 and, with a tug ahead with a file of marines on board, we continued 
 on up to the city. 
 
 There was a large bridge across the James about a mile below 
 the landing, and under this a party in a small steamer were caught 
 and held by the current, with no prospect of release without assist 
 ance. These people begged me to extricate them from their peril 
 ous position, so I ordered the tug to cast off and help them, leav 
 ing us in the barge to go on alone. 
 
 Here we were in a solitary boat, after having set out with a 
 number of vessels flying flags at every mast-head, hoping to enter 
 the conquered capital in a manner befitting the rank of the Presi 
 dent of the United States, with a further intention of firing a na 
 tional salute in honor of the happy result. 
 
 I remember the President s remarks on the occasion. "Admi 
 ral, this brings to my mind a fellow who once came to me to ask 
 for an appointment as minister abroad. Finding he could not 
 get that, he came down to some more modest position. Finally 
 he asked to be made a tide-waiter. "When he saw he could not get 
 
NEGRO HOMAGE TO PRESIDENT LINCOLN. 295 
 
 that, he asked me for an old pair of trousers. But it is well to be 
 humble." 
 
 The tug never caught up with us. She got jammed in the 
 bridge, and remained there that tide. 
 
 I had never been to Richmond before by that route, and did not 
 know where the landing was ; neither did the coxswain, nor any of 
 the barge s crew. We pulled on, hoping to see some one of whom 
 we could inquire, but no one was in sight. 
 
 The street along the river-front was as deserted as if this had 
 been a city of the dead. The troops had been in possession some 
 hours, but not a soldier was to be seen. 
 
 The current was now rushing past us over and among rocks, on 
 one of which we finally stuck. 
 
 "Send for Colonel Bailey," said the President; "he will get 
 you out of this." 
 
 " JSTo, sir, we don t want Colonel Bailey this time. I can man 
 age it." So I backed out and pointed for the nearest landing. 
 
 There was a small house on this landing, and behind it were 
 some twelve negroes digging with spades. The leader of them was 
 an old man sixty years of age. He raised himself to an upright 
 position as we landed, and put his hands up to his eyes. Then he 
 dropped his spade and sprang forward. " Bress de Lord," he said, 
 "dere is de great Messiah ! I knowed him as soon as I seed him. 
 He s bin in my heart fo long yeahs, an he s cum at las to free his 
 chillun from deir bondage ! Glory, Hallelujah ! " And he fell upon 
 his knees before the President and kissed his feet. The others 
 followed his example, and in a minute Mr. Lincoln was surrounded 
 by these people, who had treasured up the recollection of him 
 caught from a photograph, and had looked up to him for four years 
 as the one who was to lead them out of captivity. 
 
 It was a touching sight that aged negro kneeling at the feet of 
 the tall, gaunt-looking man who seemed in himself to be bearing 
 all the grief of the nation, and whose sad face seemed to say, " I 
 suffer for you all, but will do all I can to help you." 
 
 Mr. Lincoln looked down on the poor creatures at his feet ; he 
 was much embarrassed at his position. "Don t kneel to me," he 
 said. " That is not right. You must kneel to God only, and thank 
 him for the liberty you will hereafter enjoy. I am but God s humble 
 instrument ; but you may rest assured that as long as I live no one 
 shall put a shackle on your limbs, and you shall have all the rights 
 which God has given to every other free citizen of this Republic." 
 
INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 His face was lit up with a divine look as he uttered these words. 
 Though not a handsome man, and ungainly in his person, yet in 
 his enthusiasm he seemed the personification of manly beauty, and 
 that sad face of his looked down in kindness upon these ignorant 
 blacks with a grace that could not be excelled. He really seemed 
 of another world. 
 
 All this scene was of brief duration, but, though a simple and 
 humble affair, it impressed me more than anything of the kind I 
 ever witnessed. What a fine picture that would have made Mr. 
 Lincoln landing from a ship-of-war s boat, an aged negro on his 
 knees at his feet, and a dozen more trying to reach him to kiss the 
 hem of his garments ! In the foreground should be the shackles he 
 had broken when he issued his proclamation giving liberty to the 
 slave. 
 
 Twenty years have passed since that event ; it is almost too new 
 in history to make a great impression, but the time will come when 
 it will loom up as one of the greatest of man s achievements, and 
 the name of Abraham Lincoln who of his own will struck the 
 shackles from the limbs of four millions of people will be honored 
 thousands of years from now as man s name was never honored 
 before. 
 
 It was a minute or two before I could get the negroes to rise and 
 leave the President. The scene was so touching I hated to disturb 
 it, yet we could not stay there all day ; we had to move on ; so I 
 requested the patriarch to withdraw from about the President with 
 his companions and let us pass on. 
 
 " Yes, Massa," said the old man, "but after bein so many years 
 in de desert widout water, it s mighty pleasant to be lookin at las 
 on our spring of life. Seuse us, sir ; we means no disrespec to 
 Mass Lincoln ; we means all love and gratitude." And then, join 
 ing hands together in a ring, the negroes sang the following hymn 
 with melodious and touching voices only possessed by the negroes 
 of the South : 
 
 " Oh, all ye people clap your hands, 
 
 And with triumphant voices sing ; 
 No force the mighty power withstands 
 Of God, the universal King." 
 
 The President and all of us listened respectfully while the hymn 
 was being sung. Four minutes at most had passed away since we 
 first landed at a point where, as far as the eye could reach, the 
 
AN OVATION WORTHY OF AN EMPEROR. 297 
 
 streets were entirely deserted, but now what a different scene ap 
 peared as that hymn went forth from the negroes lips ! The streets 
 seemed to be suddenly alive with the colored race. They seemed to 
 spring from the earth. They came, tumbling and shouting, from 
 over the hills and from the water-side, where no one was seen as 
 we had passed. 
 
 The crowd immediately became very oppressive. TVe needed 
 our marines to keep them off. 
 
 I ordered twelve of the boat s crew to fix bayonets to their rifles 
 and to surround the President, all of which was quickly done ; but 
 the crowd poured in so fearfully that I thought we all stood a 
 chance of being crushed to death. 
 
 I now realized the imprudence of landing without a large body 
 of marines ; and yet this seemed to me, after all, the fittest way for 
 Mr. Lincoln to come among the people he had redeemed from 
 bondage. 
 
 "What an ovation he had, to be sure, from those so-called igno 
 rant beings ! They all had their souls in their eyes, and I don t 
 think I ever looked upon a scene where there were so many passion 
 ately happy faces. 
 
 While some were rushing forward to try and touch the man 
 they had talked of and dreamed of for four long years, others stood 
 off a little way and looked on in awe and wonder. Others turned 
 somersaults, and many yelled for joy. Half of them acted as 
 though demented, and could find no way of testifying their delight. 
 
 They had been made to believe that they never would gain their 
 liberty, and here they were brought face to face with it when least 
 expected. It was as a beautiful toy unexpectedly given to a child 
 after months of hopeless longing on its part ; it was such joy as 
 never kills, but animates the dullest class of humanity. 
 
 But we could not stay there all day looking at this happy mass 
 of people ; the crowds and their yells were increasing, and in a 
 short time we would be unable to move at all. The negroes, in 
 their ecstasy, could not be made to understand that they were de 
 taining the President ; they looked upon him as belonging to them, 
 and that he had come to put the crowning act to the great work he 
 had commenced. They would not feel they were free in reality 
 until they heard it from his own lips. 
 
 At length he spoke. He could not move for the mass of people 
 he had to do something. 
 
 " My poor friends," he said, " you are free free as air. You 
 
298 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 can cast off the name of slave and trample upon it ; it will come to 
 you no more. Liberty is your birthright. God gave it to you as 
 he gave it to others, and it is a sin that you have been deprived of 
 it for so many years. But you must try to deserve this priceless 
 boon. Let the world see that you merit it, and are able to main 
 tain it by your good works. Don t let your joy carry you into 
 excesses. Learn the laws and obey them ; obey God s command 
 ments and thank him for giving you liberty, for to him you owe 
 all things. There, now, let me pass on ; I have but little time to 
 spare. I want to see the capital, and must return at once to Wash 
 ington to secure to you that liberty which you seem to prize so 
 highly." 
 
 The crowd shouted and screeched as if they would split the 
 firmament, though while the President was speaking you might 
 have heard a pin drop. I don t think any one could do justice to 
 that scene ; it would be necessary to photograph it to understand it. 
 
 One could not help wondering where all this black mass of hu 
 manity came from, or if they were all the goods and chattels of 
 those white people who had for four years set the armies of the 
 Eepublic at defiance ; who had made these people work on their 
 defenses and carry their loads, the only reward for which was the 
 stronger riveting of the chains which kept them in subjection. 
 
 At length we were able to move on, the crowd opening for us 
 with shouts. I got the twelve seamen with fixed bayonets around 
 the President to keep him from being crushed. It never struck 
 me that there was any one in that multitude who would injure him ; 
 it seemed to me that he had an army of supporters there who could 
 and would defend him against all the world. 
 
 But likely there were scowling eyes not far off ; men were per 
 haps looking on, with hatred in their hearts, who were even then 
 seeking an opportunity to slay him. 
 
 Our progress was very slow ; we did not move a mile an hour, 
 and the crowd was still increasing. 
 
 Many poor whites joined the throng, and sent up their shouts 
 with the rest. We were nearly half an hour getting from abreast 
 of Libby Prison to the edge of the city. The President stopped a 
 moment to look on the horrid bastile where so many Union soldiers 
 had dragged out a dreadful existence, and were subjected to all 
 the cruelty the minds of brutal jailers could devise. 
 
 6 We will pull it down," cried the crowd, seeing where his look 
 fell. 
 
ENTRANCE INTO RICHMOND. 299 
 
 "No," he said, "leave it as a monument." 
 
 He did not say a monument to what, but he meant, I am sure, 
 to leave it as a monument to the loyalty of our soldiers, who would 
 bear all the horrors of Libby sooner than desert their flag and cause. 
 
 We struggled on, the great crowd preceding us, and an equally 
 dense crowd of blacks following on behind all so packed together 
 that some of them frequently sang out in pain. 
 
 It was not a model style for the President of the United States 
 to enter the capital of a conquered country, yet there was a moral 
 in it all which had more effect than if he had come surrounded with 
 great armies and heralded by the booming of cannon. 
 
 He came, armed with the majesty of the law, to put his seal to 
 the act which had been established by the bayonets of the Union 
 soldiers the establishment of peace and good- will between the 
 North and the South, and liberty to all mankind who dwell upon 
 our shores. 
 
 We forced our way onward slowly, and, as we reached the edge 
 of the city, the sidewalks were lined on both sides of the streets 
 with black and white alike all looking with curious, eager faces at 
 the man who held their destiny in his hand ; but there was no anger 
 in any one s face ; the whole was like a gala day, and it looked as 
 if the President was some expected guest who had come to receive 
 great honors. Indeed, no man was ever accorded a greater ovation 
 than was extended to him, be it from warm hearts or from simple 
 ceremony. 
 
 It was a warm day, and the streets were dusty, owing to the 
 immense gathering which covered every part of them, kicking up 
 the dirt. The atmosphere was suffocating, but Mr. Lincoln could 
 be seen plainly by every man, woman, and child, towering head and 
 shoulders above that crowd ; he overtopped every man there. He 
 carried his hat in his hand, fanning his face, from which the per 
 spiration was pouring. He looked as if he would have given his 
 Presidency for a glass of water I would have given my commis 
 sion for half that. 
 
 Now came another phase in the procession. As we entered the 
 city every window flew up, from ground to roof, and every one was 
 filled with eager, peering faces, which turned one to another and 
 seemed to ask, " Is this large man, with soft eyes and kind, be 
 nevolent face, the one who has been held up to us as the incarna 
 tion of wickedness, the destroyer of the South ? " I think that 
 illusion vanished, if it was ever harbored by any one there. I don t 
 
300 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 know what there was to amuse them in looking on the scene before 
 them, but certainly I never saw a merrier crowd in my life, black 
 or white. 
 
 "We were brought to a halt by the dense jam before we had gone 
 a square into the city, which was still on fire near the Tredegar 
 Works and in the structures thereabout, and the smoke, setting 
 our way, almost choked us. 
 
 I had not seen a soldier whom I could send to General Weitzel 
 to ask for an escort, and it would have been useless to send one of 
 the contrabands, for he would have been too much interested in 
 seeing the sights and in looking at the President, from whom none 
 of them took their eyes. I don t think any one noticed the rest of 
 the party. 
 
 I think the people could not h,ave had a gala day since the Con 
 federates occupied Kichmond as headquarters. Judging from pres 
 ent appearances, they certainly were not grieving over the loss of 
 the Government which had just fled. 
 
 There was nothing like taunt or defiance in the faces of those 
 who were gazing from the windows or craning their necks from the 
 sidewalks to catch a view of the President. The look of every one 
 was that of eager curiosity nothing more. 
 
 While we were stopped for a moment by the crowd, a white 
 man in his shirt-sleeves rushed from the sidewalk toward the Presi 
 dent. His looks were so eager that I questioned his friendship, 
 and prepared to receive him on the point of my sword ; but when 
 he got within ten feet of us he suddenly stopped short, took off his 
 hat, and cried out, " Abraham Lincoln, God bless you ! You are the 
 poor man s friend ! " Then he tried to force his way to the Presi 
 dent to shake hands with him. He would not take " No " for an 
 answer until I had to treat him rather roughly, when he stood off, 
 with his arms folded, and looked intently after us. The last I saw 
 of him he was throwing his hat into the air. 
 
 Just after this a beautiful girl came from the sidewalk, with a 
 large bouquet of roses in her hand, and advanced, struggling 
 through the crowd toward the President. The mass of people en 
 deavored to open to let her pass, but she had a hard time in reach 
 ing him. Her clothes were very much disarranged -in making the 
 journey across the street. 
 
 I reached out and helped her within the circle of the sailors 
 bayonets, where, although nearly stifled with the dust, she grace 
 fully presented her bouquet to the President and made a neat little 
 
RICHMOND LEFT TO THE PROTECTION OF OUR TROOPS. 301 
 
 speech, while he held her hand. The beauty and youth of the girl 
 for she was only about seventeen made the presentation yery 
 touching. 
 
 There was a card on the bouquet with these simple words : 
 "From Eva to the Liberator of the slaves." She remained no 
 longer than to deliver her present ; then two of the sailors were 
 sent to escort her back to the sidewalk. There was no cheering at 
 this, nor yet was any disapprobation shown ; but it was evidently a 
 matter of great interest, for the girl was surrounded and plied with 
 questions. 
 
 I asked myself what all this could mean but that the people of 
 Eichmond were glad to see the end of the strife and the advent of 
 a milder form of government than that which had just departed in 
 such an ignoble manner. They felt that the late Government, 
 instead of decamping with the gold of the Confederacy, should 
 have remained at the capital, and surrendered in a dignified man 
 ner, making terms for the citizens of the place, guarding their 
 rights, and acknowledging that they had lost the game. There 
 was nothing to be ashamed of in such a surrender to a vastly su 
 perior force ; their armies had fought as people never fought before. 
 "They had robbed the cradle and the grave " to sustain themselves, 
 and all that was wanted to make them glorious was the submission 
 of the leaders, with the troops, in a dignified way, while they might 
 have said, "We have done our best to win, but you have justice on 
 your side, and are too strong for us ; we pledge ourselves to keep 
 the peace." 
 
 Instead of remaining to protect the citizens against ruffianism, 
 the Confederate authorities of Richmond left that to our troops, 
 and I will say no soldiers ever performed a trust more faithfully. 
 At the moment of which I speak the majority of them were en 
 gaged in putting out the fires that were started as the enemy left 
 the town, determined, it seemed, to destroy all the public works, 
 so that we could derive no benefit from them. They would have 
 been about as useful to us as the old "hay-ricks" which encum 
 bered the navy list at the end of the war. 
 
 At length I got hold of a cavalryman. He was sitting his horse 
 near the sidewalk, blocked in by the people, and looking on with 
 the same expression of interest as the others. 
 
 He was the only soldier I had seen since we landed, showing 
 that the general commanding the Union forces had no desire to 
 interfere, in any case, with the comfort of the citizens. There was 
 
302 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 only guard enough posted about the streets to protect property and 
 to prevent irregularities. 
 
 "Go to the general," I said to the trooper, "and tell him to 
 send a military escort here to guard the President and get him 
 through this crowd ! " 
 
 "Is that old Abe?" asked the soldier, his eyes as large as 
 saucers. The sight of the President was as strange to him as to 
 the inhabitants ; but off he went as fast as the crowd would allow 
 him, and, some twenty minutes later, I heard the clatter of horses 
 hoofs over the stones as a troop of cavalry came galloping and 
 clearing the street, which they did, however, as mildly as if for a 
 parade. 
 
 For the first time since starting from the landing we were able 
 to walk along uninterruptedly. In a short time we reached the 
 mansion of Mr. Davis, President of the Confederacy, occupied after 
 the evacuation as the headquarters of Generals Weitzel and Shepley. 
 It was quite a small affair compared with the White House, and 
 modest in all its appointments, showing that while President Davis 
 was engaged heart and soul in endeavoring to effect the division of 
 the States, he was not, at least, surrounding himself with regal 
 style, but was living in a modest, comfortable way, like any other 
 citizen. 
 
 Amid all his surroundings the refined taste of his wife was 
 apparent, and marked everything about the apartments. 
 
 There was great cheering going on. Hundreds of civilians I 
 don t know who they were assembled at the front of the house to 
 welcome Mr. Lincoln. 
 
 General Shepley made a speech and gave us a lunch, after which 
 we entered a carriage and visited the State-House the late seat of 
 the Confederate Congress. It was in dreadful disorder, betokening 
 a sudden and unexpected flight ; members tables were upset, bales 
 of Confederate scrip were lying about the floor, and many official 
 documents of some value were scattered about. It was strange to 
 me that they had not set fire to the building before they departed, 
 to bury in oblivion every record that might remain relating to the 
 events of the past four years. 
 
 After this inspection I urged the President to go on board the 
 Malvern. I began to feel more heavily the responsibility resting 
 upon me through the care of his person. The evening was ap 
 proaching, and we were in a carriage open on all sides. He was 
 glad to go ; he was tired out, and wanted the quiet of the flag-ship. 
 
ON BOARD THE MALVERN AGAIN. 303 
 
 We took leave of our hosts and departed. 
 
 I was oppressed with uneasiness until we got on board and 
 stood on deck with the President safe ; then there was not a hap 
 pier man anywhere than myself. 
 
 I determined that the President should go nowhere again, 
 while under my charge, unless I was with him and had a guard of 
 marines. I thought of the risks we had run that day, and I was 
 satisfied before night was over that I had good cause for apprehen 
 sion. 
 
 We were all sitting on the upper deck about eight o clock that 
 evening, when a man came down to the landing and hailed the 
 Malvern (the vessel had come-to off the city during the day), say 
 ing that he had dispatches for the President. I told the captain to 
 send a boat to the shore to bring off the dispatches, but not to 
 bring the bearer. The boat returned with neither dispatches nor 
 man. The boat-officer said the man would not deliver the dis 
 patches to any one but the President himself. 
 
 " Let him come on board," said the President. 
 
 " Don t you think we should be careful whom we admit after 
 dark, sir ? " I asked. 
 
 "Well, yes," he replied; "but these dispatches may be from 
 General Grant, and the man may be only obeying his orders liter 
 ally." 
 
 I ordered the boat to go back and bring the man on board, de 
 termined to stand near the President when the dispatches were 
 delivered. 
 
 I knew that General Grant would send dispatches only by an 
 officer, and the midshipman in the boat told me this was not one. 
 
 When the boat returned to the shore the man was gone. As I 
 suspected, he was a bogus dispatch-bearer. The circumstance was 
 very suspicious. 
 
 I inquired about the appearance of the person when seen by the 
 officer of the boat. 
 
 " He was a tall man with a black moustache, wore a slouch hat 
 and a long cloak, a regular theatrical villain one of the stereotyped 
 play robbers." 
 
 That man was, without doubt, Wilkes Booth, who sought the 
 President s life. It would have suited Booth s tragical spirit to slay 
 him on such an occasion ; it would have added greatly to the scenic 
 effect. 
 
 In the course of a half-hour another hail came from the shore, 
 
304: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 from which we lay not more than twenty yards. A person wanted 
 a boat ; a sailor from the Saugus wanted to report himself on board. 
 There was no such vessel in the fleet, though there was one in the 
 navy. I sent an officer and four men in the boat to bring the man 
 off, not to let him escape, and, when in the boat, to put hand-irons 
 on him. Then I swept the shore with a night-glass, but could see 
 no one. The boat landed a minute later. There was no man to 
 be seen. The boat s crew ran up and down the river and looked 
 over the bank, but no one could be found. 
 
 These two circumstances made me more suspicious, and every 
 care was taken that no one should get on board without full identi 
 fication. 
 
 The President himself felt a little unpleasant and nervous, and 
 that night a marine kept guard at his state-room door. 
 
 Next morning, at ten o clock, Mr. John A. Campbell, late Jus 
 tice of the Supreme Court of the United States^ sent a request to 
 be allowed to come on board with General Weitzel. He wanted to 
 call on the President. He came on board and spent an hour. The 
 President and himself seemed to be enjoying themselves very much, 
 to judge from their laughter. 
 
 I did not go down to the cabin. In about an hour General 
 "Weitzel and Mr. Campbell came on deck, asked for a boat, and 
 were landed. 
 
 I went down below for a moment, and the President said : 
 " Admiral, I am sorry you were not here when Mr. Campbell was 
 on board. He has gone on shore happy. I gave him a written 
 permission to allow the State Legislature to convene in the Capitol 
 in the absence of all other government." 
 
 I was rather astonished at this piece of information. I felt that 
 this course would bring about complications, and wondered how it 
 had all come to pass. I found it had all been done by the persua 
 sive tongue of Mr. Campbell, who had promised the President that 
 if the Legislature of Virginia could meet in the halls of the Confed 
 erate Congress it would vote Virginia right back into the Union ; 
 that it would be a delicate compliment paid to Virginia which 
 would be appreciated, etc. 
 
 Weitzel backed up Mr. Campbell, and the President was won 
 over to agree to what would have been a most humiliating thing if 
 it had been accomplished. 
 
 When the President told me all that had been done, and that 
 General Weitzel had gone on shore with an order in his pocket to 
 
THE PRESIDENT AND THE LATE JUSTICE CAMPBELL. 305 
 
 let the Legislature meet, I merely said : "Mr. President, I suppose 
 you remember that this city is under military jurisdiction, and that 
 no courts, Legislature, or civil authority can exercise any power 
 without the sanction of the general commanding the army. This 
 order of yours should go through General Grant, who would inform 
 you that Richmond was under martial law ; and I am sure he would 
 protest against this arrangement of Mr. Campbell s." 
 
 The President s common sense took in the situation at once. 
 "Why," he said, " Weitzel made no objection, and he commands 
 here." 
 
 " That is because he is Mr. Campbell s particular friend, and 
 wished to gratify him ; besides, I don t think he knows much 
 about anything but soldiering. General Shepley would not have 
 preferred such a request." 
 
 "Run and stop them," exclaimed the President, "and get my 
 order back ! Well, I came near knocking all the fat into the fire, 
 didn t I?" 
 
 To make things sure, I had an order written to General Weitzel 
 and signed by the President as follows : " Return my permission to 
 the Legislature of Virginia to meet, and don t allow it to meet at 
 all." There was an ambulance- wagon at the landing, and, giving 
 the order to an officer, I said to him, "Jump into that wagon, and 
 kill the horse if necessary, but catch the carriage which carried 
 General Weitzel and Mr. Campbell, and deliver this order to the 
 general." 
 
 The carriage was caught after it reached the city. The old 
 wagon horse had been a trotter in his day, and went his three 
 minutes. The general and Mr. Campbell were surprised. The 
 President s order was sent back, and they never returned to try and 
 reverse the decision. 
 
 Mr. Campbell evidently saw that his scheme of trying to put 
 the State Legislature in session with the sanction of the President 
 had failed, and that it was useless to try it again. It was a clever 
 dodge to soothe the wounded feelings of the South, and no doubt 
 was kindly meant by the late Justice Campbell, but what a howl it 
 would have raised at the North ! Mr. Campbell had been gone 
 about an hour when we had another remarkable scene. A man 
 appeared at the landing, dressed in gray homespun, of a somewhat 
 decayed appearance, and with a staff about six feet long in his 
 hand. It was, in fact, nothing more than a stick taken from a 
 wood-pile. It was about two inches in diameter, and was not even 
 20 
 
306 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 smoothed at the knots. It was just such a weapon as a man would 
 pick up to kill a mad dog with. 
 
 " Who are you, and what do you want ? " asked the officer of 
 the deck. " You can not come on board unless you have important 
 business." 
 
 "I am Duff Green," said the man. "I want to see Abraham 
 Lincoln, and my business concerns myself alone. You tell Abra 
 ham Lincoln Duff Green wants to see him." 
 
 The officer came down into the cabin and delivered the message. 
 I arose and said, "I will go up and send him away," but the Presi 
 dent interposed. 
 
 " Let him come on board," he said ; "Duff is an old friend of 
 mine, and I would like to talk to him." 
 
 I then went on deck to have a boat sent for him and to see what 
 kind of a man this was who sent off such arrogant messages to the 
 President of the United States. He stepped into the boat as if it 
 belonged to him ; instead of sitting down he stood up, leaning on 
 his long staff. When he came over the side he stood on the deck 
 defiantly, looked up at the flag and scowled, and then, turning to 
 me, whom he knew very well, he said, "I want to see Abraham 
 Lincoln." He paid no courtesy to me or to the quarter deck. 
 
 It had been a very long time since he had shaved or cut his 
 hair, and he might have come under the head "unkempt and not 
 canny." 
 
 "When you come in a respectful manner," I said, "the Presi 
 dent will see you ; but throw away that cord of wood you have in 
 your hand before entering the President s presence." 
 
 "How long is it," he said, "since Abraham Lincoln took to 
 aping royalty ? Man, clothed in brief authority, cuts such fantas 
 tic capers before high heaven as make the angels weep. I can ex 
 pect airs from a naval officer, but I don t expect them in a man 
 with Abraham Lincoln s horse sense." 
 
 I thought the man crazy, and think so still. "I can t permit 
 you to see the President," I said, " until I receive further instruc 
 tions ; but you can t see him at all until you throw that wood-pile 
 overboard." 
 
 He turned on his heel and tried to throw the stick on shore, but 
 it fell short, and went floating down with the current. 
 
 " Ah," he said, "has it come to that ? Is he afraid of assassi 
 nation ? Tyrants generally get into that condition." 
 
 I went down and reported this queer customer to the President, 
 
VISIT FROM DUFF GREEN. 307 
 
 and told him I thought the man insane ; but he said, " Let him 
 come down ; he always was a little queer. I shaVt mind 
 him." 
 
 Mr. Duff Green was shown into the cabin. 
 
 The President got up from his chair to receive him, and, ap 
 proaching, offered him his hand. 
 
 " No," said Green, with a tragic air, " it is red with blood ; I 
 can t touch it. When I knew it, it was an honest hand. It has 
 cut the throats of thousands of my people, and their blood, which 
 now lies soaking into the ground, cries aloud to Heaven for ven 
 geance. I came to see you, not for old remembrance* sake, but to 
 give you a piece of my opinion. You won t like it, but I don t care, 
 for people don t generally like to have the truth told them. You 
 have come here, protected by your army and navy, to gloat over the 
 ruin and desolation you have caused. You are a second Nero, and, 
 had you lived in his day, you would have fiddled while Kome was 
 burning ! " 
 
 When the fanatic commenced this tirade of abuse Mr. Lincoln 
 was standing with his hand outstretched, his mouth wreathed with 
 the pleasant smile it almost always wore, and his eyes lighted up as 
 when anything pleased him. He was pleased because about to meet 
 an old and esteemed friend, and better pleased that this friend had 
 come to see him of his own accord. 
 
 The outstretched hand was gradually withdrawn as Duff Green 
 started on his talk, the smile left the President s lips as the talker 
 got to the middle of his harangue, and the softness of his eyes faded 
 out. He was another man altogether. 
 
 Had any one closed his eyes after Duff Green commenced speak 
 ing, and opened them when he stopped, he would have seen a per 
 fect transformation. The hearer s slouchy manner had disappeared, 
 his mouth was compressed, his eyes were fixed, even his stature 
 appeared increased. 
 
 Duff Green went on without noticing the change in the Presi 
 dent s manner and appearance. " You came here," he continued, 
 to triumph over a poor, conquered town, with only women and 
 children in it ; whose soldiers have left it, and would rather starve 
 than see your hateful presence here ; those soldiers and only a 
 handful at that who have for four years defied your paid merce 
 naries on those glorious hills, and have taught you to respect the 
 rights of the South. You have given your best blood to conquer 
 them, and now you will march back to your demoralized capital 
 
308 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 and lay out your wits to win them over so that you can hold this 
 Government in perpetuity. Shame on you ! Shame on " 
 
 Mr. Lincoln could stand it no longer ; his coarse hair stood on 
 end, and his nostrils dilated like those of an excited race-horse. He 
 stretched out his long right arm, and extended his lean forefinger 
 until it almost touched Duff Green s face. He made one step for 
 ward, to place himself as near as possible to this vituperator, and in 
 a clear, cutting voice addressed him. He was really graceful while 
 he spoke with the grace of one expressing his honest convictions. 
 
 "Stop, you political tramp," he exclaimed, "you, the aider and 
 abettor of those who have brought all this ruin upon your country, 
 without the courage to risk your person in defense of the princi 
 ples you profess to espouse ! A fellow who stood by to gather up 
 the loaves and fishes, if any should fall to you ! A man who had 
 no principles in the North, and took none South with him ! A 
 political hyena who robbed the graves of the dead, and adopted 
 their language as his own ! You talk of the North cutting the 
 throats of the Southern people. You have all cut your own throats, 
 and, unfortunately, have cut many of those of the North. Miserable 
 impostor, vile intruder ! Go, before I forget myself and the high 
 position I hold ! Go, I tell you, and don t desecrate this national 
 vessel another minute ! " And he made a step toward him. 
 
 This was something Duff Green had not calculated upon ; he 
 had never seen Abraham Lincoln in anger. His courage failed him, 
 and he turned and fled out of the cabin and up the cabin-stairs as 
 if the avenging angel was after him. He never stopped till he 
 reached the gangway, and there he stood, looking at the shore, 
 seemingly measuring the distance, to see if he could swim to the 
 landing. 
 
 I was close behind him, and when I got on deck I said to the 
 officer in charge, "Put that man on shore, and if he appears in 
 sight of this vessel while we are here, have him sent away with 
 scant ceremony." 
 
 He was as humble at that moment as a whipped dog, and hur 
 ried into the boat when ordered. 
 
 The last I saw of him he was striding rapidly over the fields, as 
 if to reach the shelter of the woods. "When I returned to the cabin, 
 about fifteen minutes later, the President was perfectly calm as if 
 nothing had happened and did not revert to the subject for some 
 hours. 
 
 " This place seems to give you annoyance, sir," I said. " Would 
 
STEAMING DOWN THE RIVER. 309 
 
 you prefer to get under way and go to City Point, where we are 
 more among friends than here ? " 
 
 "Yes," he answered, "let us go. I seem to be putting my 
 foot into it here all the time. Bless my soul, how Seward would 
 have preached, and read Puffendorf, Vattel, and Grotius to me, if 
 he had been here when I gave Campbell permission to let the Legis 
 lature meet ! I d never have heard the last of it. Seward is a small 
 compendium of international law himself, and laughs at my horse 
 sense, which I pride myself on, and yet I put my foot into that 
 thing about Campbell with my eyes wide open. If I were you, I 
 don t think I would repeat that joke yet awhile. People might 
 laugh at you for knowing so much, and more than the President ! 
 I am afraid that the most of my learning lies in my heart more 
 than in my head." 
 
 We got under way and steamed down the river. While we had 
 been up afc Richmond the gun-boat people had completed the 
 removal of the torpedoes from the river-bed and laid them all out 
 on the banks, where they looked like so many queer fish basking in 
 the sun, of all sizes and shapes. 
 
 The President had originally proposed to come up on horseback, 
 but I told him that "there was not a particle of danger from tor 
 pedoes ; that I would have them all taken up." When he saw 
 them all on the bank he turned to me and said, " You must have 
 been awful afraid of getting on that sergeant s old horse again to 
 risk all this." We got down safe, however ; there was not enough 
 danger to make it interesting. The President had some quaint 
 remarks about everything we saw, particularly about Dutch Gap, 
 which, he said, " ought to have been commenced before the war 
 at least ten years. Then," he said, " you might have had a chance 
 of getting your gun-boats up that way. By the way, your friend 
 the general wasn t a boss engineer. He was better at running 
 cotton-mills. How many people did it cost for that jetty ? " he 
 asked. 
 
 "One hundred and forty killed there as far as I can learn," I 
 answered. 
 
 Then he went into a discussion of the generals of the war what 
 difficulties he had in making appointments, etc. He illustrated 
 each case with a story. In speaking of one general, he said it re 
 minded him of a friend of his a blacksmith he knew out in the 
 West when he was a boatman. 
 
 This old friend was celebrated for making good work, especially 
 
310 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 axes, which were in great demand at that day. No boatman had a 
 complete outfit unless he had a good axe. 
 
 "One day he said to me, Lincoln, I have the finest piece of 
 steel you ever saw ; I got it on purpose to make an axe for you, 
 and if you will sit down and tell me a good story you shall have 
 the axe when it is finished. Go ahead/ I said, and I sat down 
 to tell the story while he made the axe. 
 
 " My friend the blacksmith first put on a huge piece of fresh 
 coal, and blew it up until it was at a proper heat the coals glow 
 ing ; he took up the piece of steel and looked at it affectionate 
 ly, patted it all over, then, Lincoln, he said, did you ever see 
 a piece of steel equal to that ? It ll make you a companion you 
 will never want to part with, and when you are using it you will 
 think of me. Then he put it into the fire, and began to work his 
 bellows while I commenced my story. 
 
 " He blew and blew until the steel was at a deep-red heat, when, 
 taking it out of the fire and laying it on the anvil, he gave it a clip 
 with a four-pound hammer. Lord bless you, how the sparks flew, 
 and the big red scales also ! The blacksmith hit it about a dozen 
 blows and then stopped. Lincoln, he said, here s a go, and a 
 bad one too. This lump of steel ain t worth the powder that would 
 blow it up. I never was so deceived in anything in all my life. It 
 won t make an axe. But I ll tell you what it will make. It will 
 make a clevis, and he put it in the fire again and went through the 
 same performance as before. Then, when it was heated, he laid it 
 on the anvil and commenced to hammer it. The sparks flew, and 
 so did the scales, and in a minute half of it was gone. The black 
 smith stopped and scratched his head, as men often do under diffi 
 culties. Well, he said, this certainly is an onery piece of steel, 
 but it may get better nearer the heart of it. I can t make a clevis 
 of it, but it will make a clevis-bolt. It may have some good in it 
 yet. After all, a good clevis-bolt is not a bad thing. 
 
 " He put it into the fire again, and this time got it to a white 
 heat. I think I have it now, Lincoln, and he pounded away at 
 it until I was almost blinded with scales. 
 
 " This won t do, he said. I certainly don t know my trade 
 to allow a thing like that to fool me so. Well, well, it won t 
 make a clevis-bolt, but I have one resort yet ; it will make a ten- 
 penny nail. You will have to wait for your axe, and he put the 
 metal into the fire again. 
 
 " This time he didn t blow it ; he let it get red-hot natu- 
 
A GENERAL WHO WENT OFF IN A FIZZLE. 3H 
 
 rally, and when it was as he wanted it, he put it on the anvil 
 again. 
 
 " This/ he said, * is a sure thing. I am down to the heart of 
 the piece. There must be a ten-penny nail in this. But he was 
 mistaken ; there was only a small piece of wire left. He was actu 
 ally dazed. 
 
 " Dura the thing, he said. I don t know what to make of 
 it. I tried it as an axe, it failed me. Then it failed me as a clevis. 
 It failed me as a clevis-bolt, and the cussed thing wouldn t even 
 make a ten-penny nail ! 
 
 " But I ll tell you, old fellow, what it will make, and he put 
 it into the fire again until it and the tongs were at white heat 
 Then, turning around, he rammed it into a bucket of water. 
 There, durn you, you ll make a big fizzle, and that s all you will 
 make 1 and it sputtered and fizzed until it went out, and there 
 was nothing of it left. 
 
 "Now that s the case with the person I was speaking of," con 
 tinued the President. "I tried him as an axe. I tried him as a 
 clevis. He was so full of shakes he wouldn t work into one. I 
 tried him as a clevis-bolt. He was a dead failure, and he wouldn t 
 make even a ten-penny nail. But he did make the biggest fizzle 
 that has been made this war, and fizzled himself out of the army. 
 
 " With a shocking bad name, 
 
 And his credit at zero, 
 
 He was contented to stay 
 
 At home as a hero ! " 
 
 We anchored a short time afterward, and were glad to be look 
 ing on the quiet wharves at City Point. 
 
 That evening the sailors and marines were sent out to guard 
 and escort in some prisoners, numbering about a thousand, more 
 or less, who were placed on board a large transport lying in the 
 stream. 
 
 The President expressing a desire to go on shore, I ordered the 
 barge and went with him. 
 
 We had to pass the transport with the ^prisoners ; they all 
 rushed to the side with eager curiosity ; all wanted to see the 
 Northern President. 
 
 They seemed perfectly content ; every man had a hunk of meat 
 and a piece of bread in his hand, and was doing his best to dispose 
 of it. 
 
312 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "That s old Abe," said one of them. "Give the old fellow 
 three cheers," said another ; while a third called out, " Halloo, Abe, 
 your bread and meat s better than pop-corn." 
 
 This was all good-natured and kindly. I could see no difference 
 between them and our own men, except that they were ragged and 
 attenuated from want of wholesome food. They were as happy a 
 set of men as I ever saw ; they could see their homes looming up 
 before them in the distance, and knew the war was over. 
 
 " They will never shoulder a musket again in anger," said the 
 President, " and if Grant is wise he will leave them their guns to 
 shoot crows with, and their horses to plow with ; it would do no 
 harm." 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 GENERAL SHERMAN ARRIVES AT GOLDSBORO SHERMAN CALLS 
 ON THE PRESIDENT COUNCIL ON BOARD THE RIVER QUEEN 
 PRESIDENT LINCOLN S KIND INTENTIONS TOWARD THE CONFED 
 ERATE ARMIES LET THEM HAVE THEIR HORSES TO PLOW WITH, 
 AND THEIR MUSKETS TO SHOOT CROWS WITH " THERE ARE 
 NO SOUTHERN RAILROADS ; MY BUMMERS HAVE TAKEN THEM 
 ALL UP" WHY SUCH A HOWL AT THE NORTH LEE SURREN 
 DERSTHE PRESIDENT RETURNS TO WASHINGTON SEND OFFI 
 CERS WITH HIM TO PROTECT HIS PERSON HIS DEATH THERE 
 LIES THE BEST MAN I EVER KNEW. 
 
 I MUST now go back a little. 
 
 While General Grant was preparing to march and surround Gen 
 eral Lee at Eichmond, Sherman was coming rapidly with all his 
 veterans toward Goldsboro , North Carolina, which place he reached 
 on the 21st of March, 1865. There he effected a junction with the 
 forces of Generals Schofield and Terry, which had come up from 
 Wilmington. This combination gave Sherman an effective force 
 of at least eighty thousand men. 
 
 When Sherman arrived at Goldsboro his army was literally with 
 out clothes and very short of provisions. It was necessary that 
 they should be supplied at once, and it was so important that he 
 should see General Grant and ascertain the exact position that he 
 determined to come to City Point. The President also desired to 
 
COUNCIL ON BOARD THE RIVER QUEEN. 313 
 
 see him at that place, and I think General Grant sent him a com 
 munication to that effect. 
 
 Leaving General Schofield in command of the army, Sherman 
 took the small steamer Russia from Morehead City and proceeded 
 in her to City Point, arriving on March 27th. He was received on 
 board the River Queen by the President with that warmth of feel 
 ing which always distinguished him when meeting any of the brave 
 men who had devoted their lives to crushing out the great Rebel 
 lion. 
 
 General Sherman spent a long time with the President, explain 
 ing to him the situation in his department, which was very encour 
 aging. 
 
 At this moment Sherman s army was holding General Joe John 
 ston s forces in North Carolina in a position from which he could 
 not move without precipitating a battle with some eighty thousand 
 of the best troops in our army. It was thought at that time that 
 Johnston would endeavor to make a junction with General Lee at 
 Richmond, which, in the light of subsequent events, would have 
 been an impossibility. Again, it was thought that Lee would 
 attempt to escape from Richmond and try to effect a junction with 
 Johnston. Quite as impossible as the other move, for at that mo 
 ment Sheridan was pushing his cavalry across the James River 
 from North to South, and with this cavalry intended to extend his 
 left below Petersburg so as to meet the South Shore road, and, if 
 Lee should leave his fortified lines, Grant would fall on his rear and 
 follow him so closely that he could not possibly fall on Sherman s 
 army in North Carolina, besides which Sherman felt confident that 
 with his eighty thousand men he could hold his own against John 
 ston and Lee combined until Grant came up with the Army of the 
 James. 
 
 The morning after Sherman s arrival the President held a coun 
 cil on board the River Queen, composed of General Grant, General 
 Sherman, and myself, and, as considerable controversy was caused 
 by the terms of surrender granted to General Joe Johnston, I will 
 mention here the conversation which took place during this meet 
 ing in the River Queen s cabin. 
 
 I made it a rule during the war to write down at night before 
 retiring to rest what had occurred during each day, and I was par 
 ticularly careful in doing so in this instance. 
 
 At this meeting Mr. Lincoln and General Sherman were the 
 speakers, and the former declared his opinions at length before 
 
314: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 Sherman answered him. The President feared that Lee seeing 
 our lines closing about him, the coast completely blockaded, his 
 troops almost destitute of clothing and short of provisions might 
 make an attempt to break away from the fortified works at Rich- 
 mond, make a junction with General Joe Johnston, and escape 
 South or fight a last bloody battle. 
 
 Any one looking at the situation of the armies at that time will 
 see that such an attempt would not have been possible. 
 
 Sherman had eighty thousand fine troops at Goldsboro , only 
 one hundred and fifty miles from Richmond and one hundred and 
 twenty miles from Green sborough, which latter place cut the Rich- 
 mond and Danville Railroad, the only one by which Lee could 
 
 The President s mind was made easy on this score, yet it was 
 remarkable how many shrewd questions he asked on the subject, 
 and how difficult some of them were to answer. He stated his 
 views in regard to what he desired ; he felt sure, as did every one 
 at that council, that the end of the war was near at hand ; and, 
 though some thought a bloody battle was impending, all thought 
 that Richmond would fall in less than a week. 
 
 He wanted the surrender of the Confederate armies, and desired 
 that the most liberal terms should be granted them. " Let them 
 once surrender," he said, "and reach their homes, they won t take 
 up arms again. Let them all go, officers and all. I want submis 
 sion, and no more bloodshed. Let them have their horses to plow 
 with, and, if you like, their guns to shoot crows with. I want no 
 one punished ; treat them liberally all round. We want those peo 
 ple to return to their allegiance to the Union and submit to the 
 laws. Again I say, give them the most liberal and honorable terms." 
 
 "But, Mr. President," said Sherman, "I can dictate my own 
 terms to General Johnston. All I want is two weeks time to fit 
 out my men with shoes and clothes, and I will be ready to march 
 upon Johnston and compel him to surrender ; he is short of cloth 
 ing, and in two weeks he would have no provisions at all." 
 
 "And," added the President, "two weeks is an age, and the 
 first thing you will know General Johnston will be off South again 
 with those hardy troops of his, and will keep the war going indefi 
 nitely. No, General, he must not get away ; we must have his sur 
 render at all hazards, so don t be hard on him about terms. Yes, 
 he will get away if he can, and you will never catch him until after 
 miles of travel and many bloody battles." 
 
LINCOLN S KIND INTENTIONS. 315 
 
 "Mr. President," said Sherman, "there is no possible way of 
 General Johnston s escaping ; he is my property as he is now situ 
 ated, and I can demand an unconditional surrender ; he can t 
 escape." 
 
 " What is to prevent him from escaping with all his army by 
 the Southern railroads while you are fitting out your men ? " asked 
 Grant. 
 
 "Because," answered Sherman, "there are no Southern rail 
 roads to speak of ; my bummers have broken up the roads in sec 
 tions all behind us and they did it well." 
 
 " But," said Grant, "can t they relay the rails, the same as you 
 did the other day, from Newbern and Wilmington to Goldsboro ?" 
 
 Sherman laughed. "Why, no," he said, "my boys don t do 
 things by halves. When they tore up the rails they put them over 
 hot fires made from the ties, and then twisted them more crooked 
 than a ram s horn. All the blacksmiths in the South could not 
 straighten them out." 
 
 "Mr. President," said Sherman, turning to Mr. Lincoln, "the 
 Confederacy has gone up, or will go up. We hold all the line be 
 tween Wilmington and Goldsboro , where my troops are now fitting 
 out from the transports. My transports can come up the Neuse 
 Eiver as far as Newbern. We could flood the South with troops 
 and provisions without hindrance. We hold the situation, and 
 General Johnston can surrender to me on my own terms." 
 
 "All very well," said the President, "but we must have no 
 mistakes, and my way is a sure way. Offer Johnston the same 
 terms that will be offered to Lee ; then, if he is defiant, and will not 
 accept them, try your plan. But as long as the Confederate armies 
 lay down their arms, I don t think it matters much how it is done. 
 Only don t let us have any more bloodshed if it can be avoided. 
 General Grant is for giving Lee the most favorable terms." 
 
 To this General Grant assented. 
 
 "Well, Mr. President," said Sherman, "I will carry out your 
 wishes to the letter, and I am quite satisfied that, as soon as Kich- 
 mond falls, Joe Johnston will surrender also." 
 
 Sherman, at the end of that council, supposed he was acting 
 under instructions, which he carried out, so far as I can understand 
 it, pretty much as the President desired. 
 
 The council over, and the President being desirous that General 
 Sherman should return to his command as soon as possible, the 
 latter determined to return that afternoon by sea. 
 
316 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I gave him the naval steamer Bat to take him back again to his 
 post a vessel that could make sixteen knots an hour and he was 
 soon at his headquarters. 
 
 I shall never forget that council which met on board the Eiver 
 Queen. On the determinations adopted there depended peace, or a 
 continuation of the war with its attendant horrors. That council 
 has been illustrated in a fine painting by Mr. Healy, the artist, who, 
 in casting about for the subject of an historical picture, hit upon 
 this interview, which really was an occasion upon which depended 
 whether or not the war would be continued a year longer. A single 
 false step might have prolonged it indefinitely. 
 
 Even at the last, when the Confederates were known to be in 
 most straitened circumstances without food and clothing for their 
 troops or forage for their animals, short at the same time of am 
 munition, without which their armies were useless they had 
 powerful forces in and about Eichmond, which, if once united with 
 General Johnston s army, would have made a most formidable 
 array. Eighty thousand men, handled by such men as General 
 Lee and General Johnston, would have been a hard army to beat. 
 We had had so many proofs during the war of the ability of those 
 generals and soldiers to hold their own against superior numbers, 
 that we knew very well what they could and would do when driven 
 to desperation. 
 
 Though seemingly brought to the end of their tether, they were 
 still able to fight one more bloody battle so bloody that it would 
 have brought sorrow to the hearthstones of very many thousands, 
 North and South. 
 
 Mr. Lincoln saw all this ; he often talked to me about it, and 
 when he came to City Point it was with the intention to bring 
 about a peace, even if he had to waive some point to the Confederate 
 generals. 
 
 The kindness of his intentions was shown when he agreed to the 
 late Justice Campbell s proposition to allow the Virginia Legisla 
 ture to convene in the State-House at Richmond, as related in the 
 last chapter. 
 
 Another proof of Mr. Lincoln s determination to bring about 
 peace was that he would not permit any member of his Cabinet to 
 join him at City Point. 
 
 Mr. Seward telegraphed several times to the President for an 
 invitation to visit him at that place, with other members of the 
 Cabinet ; but Mr. Lincoln, on each and every occasion, positively 
 
PRESIDENT LINCOLN S HUMANITY. 317 
 
 declined to have them come there. He had his own views, and de 
 termined to carry them out, unhampered by the opinions of his 
 advisers. 
 
 General Grant and the President were in perfect accord in all 
 matters relating to the surrender of the Confederate forces ; for, 
 while the latter had the most implicit faith in General Grant s 
 ability as a leader of armies, he had also great confidence in his 
 good judgment and humane feelings. 
 
 Grant s most generous treatment of the Confederate army at 
 Vicksburg, after its surrender, satisfied the President that he would 
 be equally generous to Generals Lee and Johnston. I am quite 
 sure that General Grant shared the convictions of the President, 
 that we should deal with the Confederates in the most generous 
 manner and thereby bring about a lasting peace. 
 
 I was present almost always at the interviews between the Presi 
 dent and General Grant, and, though the former did most of the 
 talking, General Grant agreed with him in his views of the situation. 
 
 Thus it was that Sherman, after his interview with the Presi 
 dent on board the Eiver Queen, became impressed with the latter s 
 desire to terminate hostilities without further bloodshed, and that 
 the most liberal terms should be conceded to his opponents. 
 
 Why it was that such a howl was sent up at the North when 
 General Sherman entered into an agreement with General Johnston 
 I don t know, especially as that agreement was to be submitted to 
 the Government for confirmation. 
 
 There are points in those terms of capitulation which, it seems 
 to me, should only have been decided upon by the Government itself, 
 which, it will be perceived, is what General Sherman intended in 
 the agreement drawn up between him and General Johnston. He 
 had been so impressed with the President s views of concluding a 
 peace that he desired only to carry out after his death what he 
 supposed to be his policy, and which, if living, he felt certain Mr. 
 Lincoln would have approved. 
 
 At least he would have considered it, and would not have 
 "rejected it with the disdain" exhibited by the new President, 
 Andrew Johnson, through his Secretary of War, Edwin M. Stanton. 
 
 It seemed to be the policy of the Secretary of War to lose no 
 opportunity to throw a stone at those who had made themselves 
 prominent in the Rebellion. Even if Sherman had made a mistake, 
 his great services entitled him to better treatment than he received 
 at the hands of Mr. Stanton. 
 
318 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 How deeply he felt this treatment was shown when he arrived 
 in Washington with his troops, and was invited upon the platform 
 whence the President and his Cabinet were reviewing them. He 
 deliberately refused to take Stanton s hand when the secretary 
 stepped forward to greet him. 
 
 It is now twenty years since the interesting events referred to 
 took place ; most of the actors in those scenes have gone to their 
 final resting places. The passions which animated men in high 
 places have died out, but Grant and Sherman still live, and are 
 gratefully remembered by their countrymen for the invaluable ser 
 vices they rendered during the most trying times of the Republic s 
 existence. 
 
 After the surrender of General Lee, the President, being satisfied 
 that everything would be settled according to his wishes, deter 
 mined to go to Washington, and I was only too glad to have him 
 go. I had a strong feeling that something would happen to him if 
 he remained longer at City Point. I was so anxious about him 
 that I obtained his permission to send an officer up with him, who 
 was never to leave his side. For this purpose I detailed Lieutenant- 
 Commander John Barnes (the commander of the Bat) to go on 
 board the River Queen, and never to leave the President s side, 
 even at meals. If I remember rightly, I also sent two ensigns, who 
 were to keep watch over his state-room at night. Directions were 
 given to have the River Queen thoroughly searched before she 
 started, to see if there were any strange men on board, and to 
 arrest and confine any strangers who might be found on the vessel 
 during the passage up. In fact, no precaution was omitted that 
 would insure the President against violence. 
 
 The Bat, as already stated, was a very fast vessel. I directed 
 Lieutenant-Commander Barnes to have her run close alongside the 
 River Queen all the way up to Washington, and to have her ready 
 to render assistance in case of necessity. I had not forgotten how 
 the Greyhound had burned up, and how near we had all come to 
 being badly burned, or having to swim for it. 
 
 Barnes was further ordered to be armed at all times, night and 
 day, and to hold his position of guard to the President until he 
 landed him safe in the White House. 
 
 This duty was performed most effectually and agreeably to the 
 President, who felt very much pleased to have Barnes about him, 
 and made him sit near him at all his meals. 
 
 As soon as the President had arrived safely at the White House, 
 
PRESIDENT LINCOLN S ASSASSINATION. 319 
 
 Barnes returned to me. I still felt uneasy, and determined to go 
 to Washington myself and see that Mr. Lincoln did not expose 
 himself to the attacks of assassins. 
 
 I jumped on board the Tristram Shandy, and directed her com 
 mander to put on all steam and land me in Baltimore, thinking I 
 could get to Washington sooner by that route. We arrived early 
 in the morning, and I sent a mate on shore at once to get me a 
 conveyance to the depot. The mate returned in about twenty 
 minutes. His ghastly face told an awful tale ; he could not speak 
 when he came into the cabin, but fell upon the sofa and shook like 
 an aspen-leaf. 
 
 " What is the matter with you ? " I asked. " Be a man and tell 
 me ; is the President dead ? " My prophetic soul told me that 
 must be so. It was some time before the man could speak. At 
 length he stammered out, "Assassinated !" and then I knew I had 
 come too late. I might, perhaps, have saved his life with my per 
 sistent precautions, which he did not at all object to. I should 
 have been about him until all excitement was over, and would have 
 impressed the Cabinet with the necessity of guarding his person. I 
 am not now, and never have been, given to great emotions ; but when 
 I heard of Mr. Lincoln s cruel death I was completely unmanned. 
 I went immediately to Washington and saw him as he lay in his 
 grave-clothes ; the same benevolent face was there, but the kindly 
 smile had departed from his lips, and the soft, gentle eyes were 
 closed for ever. 
 
 "There," I said to a friend, "lies the best man I ever knew or 
 ever expect to know ; he was just to all men, and his heart was 
 full to overflowing with kindness toward those who accomplished his 
 death." I have been satisfied that the persons who called at the 
 Malvern were some of the assassins who would have killed him 
 there if they could have got on board, and they could easily have 
 escaped in the confusion by jumping overboard and swimming to 
 the shore, which was not more than twenty yards distant. More 
 over, I do not think that the prime instigator of the deed was 
 ever suspected, though I have my own opinion on the subject, as 
 also had Senator Nye, that stanch old patriot who held, in the lat 
 ter part of the war, a position somewhat analogous to that of a 
 minister of police, or was in consultation, by the wish of President 
 Lincoln, with the police authorities of our great cities. He picked 
 up many interesting incidents in relation to the President s assas 
 sination which he talked about freely to me ; but he was a prudent 
 
320 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 man, and a politician, and did not desire to raise questions which 
 might affect his personal interests in the future. 
 
 Perhaps it was better for Mr. Lincoln s happiness that he died 
 when he did. Had he lived, he would likely have been involved 
 in bitter political feuds, owing to his liberal opinions in regard to 
 the reconstruction of the States. He was of too sensitive a nature 
 not to feel the shafts that would have been hurled at him by those 
 whom he thought to be his friends, and he would not likely have 
 been permitted to carry out his ideas. As it was, he died a martyr 
 to a great cause, and venerated by all those who loved the Union ; 
 and while the names of many who held high places in the State 
 will be forgotten, the memory of Abraham Lincoln will live in the 
 hearts of his countrymen while the art of printing exists by which 
 his name can be handed down to posterity. 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 THE following story is supposed to have been written by the 
 admiral s coxswain, and is founded on facts. It is somewhat em 
 bellished, as a tale of this kind would naturally be when related by 
 a coxswain, since persons in that rating are apt to be afflicted with 
 lively imaginations : 
 
 COKPOBAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 
 
 I was serving on the Lakes during the war when a call came 
 from the Mississippi squadron for some blue-jackets. Me and some 
 other sailors determined to ship, so we met together and took a few 
 schooners all round. 
 
 At the rendezvous we found an old retired sailing master in the 
 nayy, Mr. Handspike, sitting under a tree with his coat off, trying 
 to keep cool, and an old civilian doctor following his example. 
 
 We were the first chaps that had offered, and old Handspike s 
 eyes glistened as he looked at the chance of hooking three likely- 
 looking chaps, although I rather shook in my shoes when he eyed 
 my short leg. 
 
 " Never mind my leg, sir," I said. "I am good at beating to 
 windward in making a long and short leg of it, though I can t sail 
 fast off the wind." 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 321 
 
 "Well," said old Handspike, "what can you do, Jack, on board 
 a man-o -war ? " 
 
 "Sir," says I, "I can hand, reef, and steer, box the compass, 
 heave the lead, and make all the hitches and bends in creation." 
 
 " Ah," says he, "we don t want none of those things in the Mis 
 sissippi navy. Can you catch sheet lightning as it goes by you ? " 
 
 " Yes, sir," I said, " and give it a start of one hundred yards." 
 
 " Can you slide down a water-spout, Jack ? " said the old man. 
 " Dive deeper and come up drier than a mermaid ? Can you timber- 
 hitch two catamounts together, can you swim across Niagara River 
 heading up stream, can you clove-hitch a stern-wheel boat s shaft 
 to a cotton-wood tree, and can you skin a live alligator with your 
 teeth ? for them s the kind of boys we want in the Mississippi 
 squadron, and we wants lots of em." 
 
 "Yes, sir," says I, "I can do all that, and more too ; but my 
 name ain t Jack ; it s Jim Blazes, from Ocrakoke Inlet, at your 
 service, and I m just the fellow you want in the navy to set a tor 
 pedo under the bottom of an enemy s vessel." 
 
 "How will you prove all that, Jim Blazes?" said old Hand 
 spike ; " it strikes me you re pulling rather a long bowline." 
 
 "Well, sir," said I, "here s Jack Tiller and Joe Easty ; they ll 
 swear to it on Bowditch s Navigator, and if you ll write to Ned 
 Blinker, on board the ironclad My-Aunt-don t-know-Me, he ll 
 tell you he s seen me do all I brag of often s the time. Ned and 
 me sailed together three voyages ; he knows all about me ; but so 
 does Jack Tiller here ; he s truth itself." 
 
 " Looks like it wastly," said old Handspike. " Well, Jack Til 
 ler, what can you vouch for ? " 
 
 "I don t exactly know, sir, what pint of the compass that is," 
 said Jack ; "but this I do know : Jim Blazes is as good a fellow as 
 ever robbed an apple-orchard, and he ain t a chap as would pre- 
 waricate about such a small matter as you ve been talkin about. 
 I never knowed him to slip up on his word mor n five times in my 
 life ; once was when he promised Captain Spanker that he wouldn t 
 drink but fifteen tots and would come on board in twenty-four 
 hours, stead of which he drank about five hundred tots and stayed 
 ashore a week ; and when the captain asked Jim how he come for 
 to do it, he said he made a little mistake in his figures ; and the cap 
 tain had such confidence in Jim, and knew that he d sooner die 
 than prewaricate, so he said it was all right and made him a pres 
 ent of a bran new sou wester." 
 21 
 
322 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " "Well," said old Handspike, "I see you three fellows are all of 
 a kidney, and I suppose either one of you can do as much as Jim 
 Blazes claims to be able to do." 
 
 "Not quite, sir," said Jack Tiller. "I can beat Jim on the 
 chain-lightning dodge, and Joe can beat him divin , but we re a 
 hull team, Mr. Ossifer, and you d better ship us." 
 
 "Well," said the jolly sailor, "you ve passed your professional 
 examination, and I ll turn you over to Dr. Lollipop. Put em 
 through, Doctor, mentally and physically. You diagnose them as 
 well as I did in seamanship, and we ll have three of the best fellows 
 shipped this season." 
 
 "Well, my man," said the doctor to me, " how old are you ?" 
 
 "My name is Jim Blazes," says I, "sir, but I don t know how 
 old I am." 
 
 "What countryman are you ?" 
 
 "Don t know, sir. My father was Irish, and he married a 
 Scotchwoman. Then my mother died and my father married a 
 Frenchwoman ; then my father died and my mother married a 
 Frenchman ; then my mother died and father married an Indian 
 squaw ; and then my father died and mother married a member of 
 Congress. " 
 
 " Stop there ! " roared old Handspike ; " you re lying now sure." 
 
 "No he ain t," said Jack Tiller ; "it s all true, as I could prove 
 to you if I had some papers now on board the My-Aunt-don t- 
 know-Me, in charge of that friend I spoke of." 
 
 " Well, Mr. Blazes, did you ever have the measles ? " 
 
 "Yes, sir," said I, "three times." 
 
 "And the chicken-pox ?" 
 
 "Yes, sir ; and I ve had the small-pox six times." 
 
 " I never heard of such a case before," said the doctor in aston 
 ishment. 
 
 " Oh, yes, sir," said I ; " it s a different disease in different parts 
 of the world. In Africa they vaccinates from the rhinoceros, and 
 up in the Artie they vaccinates from the polar bear." 
 
 " Well, Mr. Blazes, did you ever have the whooping-cough ? " 
 
 "Frequently," said I ; "and I always cure myself by taking a 
 little of Mrs. Winslow s Soothing Syrup. I always carries a bottle 
 with me wherever I goes." 
 
 " Let me see it," said the doctor, " if you have any, for I believe 
 you re stuffing me." 
 
 I handed out my bottle and the doctor tasted the medicine ; then 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 323 
 
 he took a good swig, and, winking his eye at the sailing master, 
 "I ll be hanged," says he, "if this here ain t prime whisky." 
 
 Old Handspike took a nip, and, looking at me sternly, said : 
 "Jim Blazes, it s against the law to take whisky into the navy; 
 you ll have to leave this bottle with me." 
 
 "No you don t, sir," says I. "I know the law as well as any 
 body, and to guard against all precautions I have labeled that medi 
 cine Hop Bitters ; that s what all the officers do, and they know 
 the ropes." 
 
 The doctor stared at me. " One more question," said he, " and 
 I am done with you. Have you cut your eye-teeth yet, Mr. 
 Blazes?" 
 
 We all passed our examination and got our certificates, also a 
 passage ticket to Cincinnati, where a Government steamer was to 
 take us to Mound City, near Cairo, Illinois. 
 
 To make a long story short, we arrived safe in Cincinnati, not a 
 man of us deserting we were not that kind of rot ; but I mustn t 
 forget to mention that old Handspike gave us some ham sandwiches 
 and a bottle of soothing syrup to take along with us in the cars, 
 so we hadn t the slightest desire to leave our seats. 
 
 "When we reached Cincinnati we marched to the United States 
 steamer Champion at the levee, and found ourselves, with over a 
 hundred other sailors, booked for Uncle Sam s "Western navy. 
 
 The captain sang out, " Stand by to cast off ! All aboard ! " and 
 told the first officer to sit on the safety-valve, and away we went 
 down the river to the tune of "Yankee Doodle," played by a steam 
 calliope stuck up abaft the wheel-house. 
 
 I now considered myself enlisted for the war and liable to be 
 fired on at any moment by the numerous guerrillas who infested 
 the river-banks, and I was ready to fire back as soon as I could find 
 out where the muskets were kept. 
 
 Besides the officers of the Champion, we had on board as pas 
 sengers Captain Foster, known as " Corporal Foster," and an aid 
 to the admiral, both of whom were going down to join the squad 
 ron. 
 
 Corporal Foster had with him no less than six setter dogs, for 
 what purpose no one could imagine. They were the rummest set I 
 ever saw up to all kinds of tricks ; and one brown dog, which the 
 corporal called Ned, was a wonderful animal, and could beat the best 
 acrobat I most ever saw. Ned would take a nip from the corporal s 
 flask whenever he was invited, but he would never take a drink 
 
324: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 from any bottle unless it was marked " Hop Bitters "or " Soothing 
 Syrup." 
 
 Such was the discipline of the navy at that time, and such the 
 anxiety to conform to the law of Congress against spirituous liquors, 
 that no officer or man in the service would take a drink out of a 
 bottle unless it was marked "Medicine." 
 
 The admiral s aid was a jimmy-looking youngster, up to his knees 
 in a pair of long boots, with the seat of his trousers " re-enforced " 
 like a cavalry man. This led me to believe that his business was 
 to go about on horseback ; but when I got to learn how things were 
 done in the Mississippi fleet, I ceased to wonder. I did not know 
 how soon I might be called upon to grapple with chain lightning 
 or go to the weather-earring of a smoke-stack. 
 
 Corporal Foster soon got acquainted with everybody in the 
 steamer, and there wasn t a sailor there who didn t want to serve 
 under his command in case the corporal got one. He said he was 
 only a privateer, and was going down without orders to see if he 
 could get the admiral to let him have one of the India-rubber iron 
 clads building in Louisville. 
 
 Says the corporal to the aid, "How is the admiral on dogs ? 
 Is he weak ? " 
 
 "Well, rather," said the aid ; "he s fond of shooting." 
 
 " If that s the case," said the corporal, " I m all right. I ll get 
 the best ironclad on the river. There s only one man I ll give my 
 dog Ned to, and that s the admiral, and he ll kill more birds in a 
 day with Ned than he could with twenty other dogs." 
 
 On the 10th of May, 1863, the Champion hove in sight of 
 Mound City, and everybody rushed on deck to see the navy-yard. 
 I could see nothing but water and trees, with occasionally a chim 
 ney appearing through the woods ; but at last the navy-yard was 
 pointed out to me with a large wharf -boat lying alongside of it. 
 
 But, my eyes, what a navy-yard ! It was all among the trees that 
 lined the bank of the river. There was ten fathoms of water 
 where Mound City once reared its imposing head of fifteen houses. 
 The Mayor s house was out of the water, occupying an Indian 
 mound, which gives the place its name. 
 
 Everything that was above water was in full activity. All kinds 
 of shops for building and equipping a navy were on rafts and in 
 steamboats ready for transportation to any part of the Mississippi ; 
 indeed, it was not uncommon to see the whole navy-yard get under 
 way from Mound City and proceed where it was most needed. 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 325 
 
 As soon as we arrived a signal went up from the wharf-boat 
 " Vessels send to Champion for detachments of men " and in less 
 than half an hour I was on board the Forest Rose bound up the 
 Tennessee River. Before I left I made Jack Tiller promise to 
 write and let me know everything that went on, and a short time 
 after my arrival I received the following letter : 
 
 " DEAR JIM : Here I am all ship shape and Bristol fashion 
 A, No. 1, copper fastened, and sound in timber-heads, dead-eyes, 
 and chain-plates, and app inted coxswain to the admiral on board 
 his flag-ship when he gits one, until which times he and his cox 
 swain hists their flag on board the IT. S. wharf-boat supposed to be 
 lyin alongside the levee at Mound City. 
 
 " Well, Jim, perhaps you ll wonder how all this came about, 
 and I can only say my good looks done it for me. After we was 
 put in line on the quarter-deck of the wharf-boat, the admiral says 
 to me, What can you do, Jack ? Anything you please, yer 
 honor/ says I. With that the admiral picks up a fifty-six-pound 
 weight, slings it three or four times round his head, and then let it 
 fly at me, saying, Catch that, Jack ! and catch it I did all over, 
 for before I knowed it I was all in a lump on the quarter-deck, and 
 didn t know which was me and which was the fifty-six-pounder. 
 
 " That s lesson fust, Jack Tiller, says the admiral. I wants 
 my coxswain allers to be ready for emergenses and never to lie when 
 the truth will answer better. You ll be all right after bein with 
 me a week/ says the admiral ; now pick out a crew for my barge. 
 
 " Yes, sir, says I, yer honor, but there ain t no barge, least 
 wise above water. I m tole there s an old one down in the mud as 
 belonged to Admiral Foote when he fust come out here. 
 
 " Never you mind about the barge, Jack Tiller ; that ll come 
 afore you know it. Go look after the barge s crew ; no man less 
 than six feet wanted, and they must be able to do everything. 
 
 "Just then Corporal Foster came on board and introduced his- 
 self to the admiral, all his dogs sittin in a row on their stern-sheets 
 with their right paw to their forelock, same as if they was a touchin 
 of their hats. 
 
 " The admiral looked at him very stiff, and says he, Sir, it s 
 customary for officers to call on me in uniform. See Navy Regger- 
 lations. 
 
 " Why, Lord bless me, Admiral ! says the corporal, if you d 
 only knowed how I ve been fixed, you d give me credit for gittin* 
 
326 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 here any fashion. I started from Injianner on a mule to jine you, 
 and strapped my chist on the critter s back in such a way as I never 
 supposed he d git it loose ; but the fust day out and twenty miles 
 from home, blest if he didn t unlash that chist and kick it all to 
 pieces. My clothes was so wallered in the mud that you couldn t 
 tell a full-dress coat from a ditty-bag. And here I am all s tannin 
 in the best I got with my sword on/ 
 
 " Sir, says the admiral, the reggerlations forbid any officer to 
 wear any part of his uniform in citizens dress. 
 
 " With that Corporal Foster unbuckles a rusty-lookin sword 
 which looked as if it had been lyin six years at the bottom of the 
 river, and, turnin to the dogs, says, Here, Ned, take charge of 
 this here sword, and with that the dog got on his hind legs and 
 wobbled to his master, tucked the sword under his arm, and tuk 
 his station among his shipmates. 
 
 " Says the admiral, * That beats blanegan. I think that dog 
 knows mor n you do, Capting. 
 
 " Jist so, Admiral, and he kin command a squadron as well as 
 any officer in your fleet. There s no knowin what he can t do ; try 
 him, sir. 
 
 " Ned, said the admiral, tell my steward to bring me and 
 Capting Foster a glass of hop bitters. 
 
 "Ned laid down the sword and scampered off, and in less than 
 two minutes he returned draggin in the steward by the leg with 
 the two glasses of hop bitters, which was drunk in no time, and 
 bizness perceded. 
 
 " Now, Admiral, says the corporal, I brought them six dorgs 
 all the way from Injianny jist for you to pick and choose from, an 
 for that matter yon can have the hull kit an biler of em. 
 
 " I tell you, Jim, the Foster stock went up quicker than I ever 
 seed it in Wall Street. If there was any pint the admiral was 
 weak on, it was huntin dorgs, an I berlieve if he was engaged in 
 attackin a battery an a flock ov quail flew over, he d take his dorg 
 an go in persute ov em. 
 
 " Well, Capting Foster, says the admiral, I d like em all, but 
 I h aint got no flag-ship gist yet, and I m only boardin for the 
 present on to this here wharf-boat. When I get a flag-ship I ll fit 
 em all up comfortable ; they ll help while away many a weary 
 hour. 
 
 " What kind of a flag-ship do you want, Admiral ? says the 
 corporal. 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 327 
 
 / says the admiral, I want a big double-engine steme- 
 bote as can accommydate twenty sekkertaries and clerks, have lots 
 of state-rooms, a place for twelve horses, two cows, a lot of hens, et 
 cetrur, et cetrur. 
 
 " Good-morninV says Corporal Foster, an* off he went with 
 the dorgs to borry a tug of the fleet capting, an very soon he was a 
 steamin down to Cairo. As he came in toward the levee there was 
 a big steamer a comin up, with her name in big letters between the 
 smoke-stacks, Uncle Sam. 
 
 "Corporal Foster hailed her, and says he, Lay to ; I want to 
 examine your papers, says he. The corporal went aboard, slapped 
 the capting on the back and shuck his hand till he nearly wrung 
 his arm out. Says he, Where s your papers, Capting ? 
 
 " Why/ says the capting, I h aint got no papers, and wot s 
 more, I never heerd of sich a thing ! 
 
 " Then/ said Corporal Foster, I seize you as a prize and der- 
 ilick. 
 
 " A what ? says the capting. 
 
 " A derilick/ says the corporal, and you must prepare to go 
 along with me. 
 
 " Well/ says the capting, I never heerd of no sich perceed- 
 in s ; this war has turned everything topsy turvy, and there s no 
 more virtue in the land/ says he. 
 
 " Wot s your old craft wuth ? says the corporal. 
 
 " She s wuth so much to me/ says the capting, that I won t 
 sell her. 
 
 " *I didn t ask you to sell her/ says Foster ; I only intend to 
 buy her. 
 
 " It takes two to make a bargain/ says the capting, and yon 
 can t buy her without my permission. 
 
 "Well, wot is she wuth anyhow, Capting ? 
 
 " Thirty-five thousand dollars/ said the capting, and I guess 
 it ll bother you to raise the money, for you don t look as if you 
 could raise five dollars. 
 
 " Fust and foremost/ says Foster, I seizes you as a bony fidy 
 prize, a derilick without papers on the high seas, for if these aint 
 the high seas I don t know what is. Second, I go your thirty-five 
 thousand dollars and five thousand better, and close the bargain. 
 Third, I seizes you for pub. ser., which takes away all ownership 
 from you and rests it in Uncle Sam. Fourth 
 
 " Hold on there, Mister/ yelled the capting, that s enuff. I 
 
328 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 see plain that sum of them there clauses is goin to fotch me. I 
 cave in ; gimme forty thousand dollars and take the old critter, an 
 my heart s broke. 
 
 " e All right, says the corporal ; ( steam up to the wharf -bote an 
 we ll settle the bizness. Here, Jack Tiller, take the helm. Jim, 
 you bet I was there, and the way I steered that ole Uncle Sam into 
 the wharf-bote was a caution. I only mashed one carpenter-shop, 
 sunk the iron-plating department, and broke the paddles ofi 3 the 
 port wheel. 
 
 " She s yourn now, says the capting ; f you kin do as you please 
 with her let her rip. But on the hole, Coxsin, says he to me, 
 you done as well as I ever see the navy do in these waters, if not 
 a little better. 
 
 "The Uncle Sam was soon tied up, and the mechanics was all 
 so busy in swimmin that they didn t notice any irregularities in 
 the performance of the everlootion. 
 
 " Corporal Foster walked into the front parlor of the wharf-bote 
 with his dorgs, took off his hat, while all the dorgs sat on their stern- 
 sheets in the most respectful manner. 
 
 " Admiral, says the corporal, your flag-ship is alongside, an 
 ready to perceed to sea at a moment s notice. 
 
 " What flag-ship do you mean, Foster ? says the admiral, and 
 jumped up, lookin out the winder at the big steamer loomin up 
 above the wharf-bote, with a wooden Indjun representin Black 
 Hawk standing up fifteen feet high between the smoke-stacks. 
 
 " Jist what I wanted, Foster/ says the admiral; how d you 
 git her? 
 
 " She hadn t no papers, says the corporal, an I seized her as 
 a prize. She was a derilick, and I have no doubt she comes under 
 the head of flotsam and jetsam. Then I bought her out for forty 
 thousand dollars and seized her for pub. ser. the way the army 
 does. 
 
 " That s the strongest claws of all, says Foster, and when I 
 tole the cap tin you was that kind of a man who, if he wanted his 
 great uncle s bones for the pub. ser., he d take em, he caved in. 
 The vessel s yourn, with everything a man can want crew, cooks, 
 stewards, incloodin bed and table linen, says the corporal. 
 
 " The paymaster was called in and the hull matter was soon ar 
 ranged. The Uncle Sam was ourn and the owner had his forty 
 thousand dollars. The captin sat there very melancholy. Admiral, 
 says he, there aint no more virtue in the land since this war bruk 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 329 
 
 out. You ve done bruk my heart ; me an my old gal as has stuck 
 together for thirty years must part. You ll get a flag-ship as is a 
 flag-ship ; her upper works is from fair to middling but she wants 
 an entire new hull ; her bilers were condemned eight years ago, and 
 she can t carry only ten pounds of steam. Her shaft is broke in 
 three places, but you can t see it for the putty. We keeps six 
 siphon-pumps agoin and the steam pipes all the time. Her steam- 
 chist has busted thirty-six times in the last two years, and killed 
 four men, and she s bin on fire twenty-two times. She s full of 
 rats, cockroaches, and bedbugs, but if her cook can t make the best 
 lobscouse and slapjacks in this country I ll eat him. I couldn t get 
 no charter, says the captin, for the army wouldn t tech me. I 
 tried to get seized for the pub. ser. No, sirree, no one wanted the 
 likes of the Uncle Sam. I offered to sell her for twelve thousand 
 dollars, but they said she wasn t good for anything but fire-wood. 
 An here in the nick of time comes this navy feller and relieves 
 me from all my differculties. Wall, arter all, there s more vartue 
 in the country than I thought there was, and I wishes you all a 
 good-mornin , says he; and don t forgit Jim Longeye in case 
 you wants to buy another bote. 
 
 " The admiral looked at Foster and Foster looked at the admi 
 ral. Admiral, says Foster, I don t believe a word of it, sir, an 
 I ll find out quicker than you can skin an eel/ and he started on 
 his inspection. 
 
 " On his way round the steamer he diskivered a big bote twelve 
 feet long an eight feet wide ; so he sends for the carpenter an or 
 ders her to be cut in two in the middle and lengthened fifteen feet, 
 ordered a new bow and stern put into her, new sides, new bottom, 
 thwarts, and stern sheets, so that, when she was finished, the ad 
 miral had as nice a barge as ever you see. 
 
 " Corporal Foster was perfectly satisfied with the inspection of 
 the Uncle Sam, an went to work to onst to move the admiral an 
 all his baggage right on board. A bottle of Mrs. Winslow s syrup 
 was broke over her bows an the Uncle Sam was transmogrified into 
 Black Hawk, an the admiral s flag hoisted at the mizzen, an there 
 she was all ship shape an Bristol fashion. 
 
 " Foster painted her with three rows of sham port holes, an if 
 she warn t the most dangerous lookin ship of the line I ever see, 
 my name ain t Jack Tiller. 
 
 " When Corporal Foster had fixed the admiral to his satersfac- 
 tion he put a brass collar on the dog Ned, with Admiral Porter J 
 
330 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 engraved on to it, an wen the other dogs seen it, bless me if they 
 didn t set on to their stern sheets, with their tongues lollin out, 
 and duck their heads to him, an they allers arterwards showed him 
 the respeck due to their superior officer. 
 
 " The next day arter all this was done the admiral says to Foster, 
 says he, * Foster, I owe you one ; I m a goin to order you to com 
 mand the Indier rubber iron clad Larfyett. She s a double back- 
 action, copper fastened, invulnerable A number 1 ship of war now 
 buildin in Looeyville. Here s your orders, so git up an* git with 
 out delay. 
 
 "The corporal grinned all over, an says he, Admiral, you ll 
 find I ll handle her without gloves/ an so, makin his sdlam, he 
 started for Looeyville. 
 
 " You must know, Jim Blazes, that I m allers about the admiral, 
 an he can t do nothin without me ; that s the how and whyfore I 
 sees all and hears everything that s goin on. 
 
 "I can t tell you all the doin s of this here fleet, but I will tell 
 you some of the doin s of that remarkable dorg Ned, what I never 
 seen the likes on afore. He takes his seat regular right by the admi 
 ral s desk waitin for orders. He ll empty the waste basket, call the 
 steward when hop bitters is wanted, wich keeps him tolerable busy, 
 bring the admiral s slippers, and walk in to dinner when it s ready. 
 
 " He s learned to read the steme indykater hisself, an wen there 
 ain t enuff steme on he ll carry a log of wood in his mouth to the 
 furniss and make a fireman chuck it in. He ll bark like blazes if 
 the night lamps ain t lit in time, an wen he sees a rebel skulkin 
 on the banks he ll seize a musket from the rack an pass it to a 
 marine to fire. I m most afrade to tell you all the dorg can do, 
 for you re such a allfired whopper teller yourself that you won t 
 berleeve anybody wot s telling you a reasonable thing. 
 
 " Why, one day Ned seed a officer a takin a five gallon demmy- 
 john of wisky abord his ship. He seized it by the handle and run 
 it right abord the flag, for he knowed as well as any Christian it 
 was agin the reggerlations. Yet he d let fellers carry boxes and 
 boxes of hop bitters on bord an never sed a word, cos that warn t 
 agin the law. 
 
 "Another time a officer accidentally took the admiral s cap. 
 Ned ran after him, grabbed the admiral s cap off his head, ran 
 aboard the flag ship, and laid the trofee at his marster s feet. 
 
 " But to hurry up my story. I ain t a goin f er to tell you about 
 the takin of Vicksburg ; it was tuk, an no mistake, an the admi- 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 331 
 
 ral ordered Corporal Foster in the Larfyett to the mouth of Red 
 River, an follered him down in a short time. 
 
 " Wen we got there in the Black Hawk, Foster was a lyin in his 
 vessel at widdow Angler s landin , an we hauled in there likewise 
 an staid several days. 
 
 "The second day two ladies come down to the levee to see the 
 admiral, an was admitted on bord ; an now, Jim, I m goin to tell 
 you the funniest thing you ever heern tell on. These ladies had 
 already pade Corporal Foster a visit, an he prepared the admiral 
 as to what kind of craft they was. There was all kinds o craft 
 along the river, but we never see nothin as quite come up to them 
 two. 
 
 " These ladies warn t at all put out wen they went in to the 
 cabin to find a dozen officers all in uniform. They was both in 
 short huntin skirts, had on high top boots, an carried double bar 
 reled guns an fixin s, and each had a pinter dorg. 
 
 " * How air you, Admiral ? says the oldest one. I m Mrs. 
 Angler an this is Mrs. Jenkins. We re uncommon glad you ve 
 come, coz all we Union peeple is sufferin dreadful at the ban s of 
 the rebbels, an we wants pertection, an she smole sich a smile as 
 no admiral could resist. 
 
 " < Yes, says Mrs. Jenkins, we ve bin crazy to see you, an we 
 set up all night watchin for your lights. 
 
 " Yes, marm, says the admiral, bowin low, it is deliteful to see 
 so much Union feelin all along the river. Why, they did nothin 
 but fire off guns all the way down, an the only objection to it was, 
 they forgot to take out the shot. In consikence, they bruk some of 
 my winders an killed my best cow. 
 
 " l Oh, mi, how shockin ! said the widder Angler. Deer Ad 
 miral, I ll give you two fresh cows to make up, for I m Union all 
 over, ain t I, Julia ? 
 
 " Yes, dear, says the widow Jenkins, an I go ten better than 
 you, for I ll give the admiral four fresh cows with calves. 
 
 " Thank you, marm, says the admiral, I borrowed as many 
 as I wanted from the Union peeple along the river, but I m much 
 obleeged to you. 
 
 " l You ve jist come in the nick of time, says Mrs. Angler. 
 Genral Kirby Smith, C. S. A., is goin to make a raid on our 
 side of the river, an you kin help me run in my cotting to the 
 river bank, where it ll be safe under your guns till I kin send it to 
 New Orleens on Ginral Banks s pass. 
 
INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " Madam, says the admiral, I can t meddle with these matters. 
 It s agin my orders. I turns em all over to the Treasury agints. 
 
 " But, Admiral, says the smilin widder, we is so Union you ll 
 make a diffrunce in our case. Besides, Admiral, she wispered, 
 " wen the six hundred bales gits under your guns you ll get a check 
 for twenty thousand dollars for your oldest darter. 
 
 " Thank you, marm, says the admiral, but my darters is per- 
 vided for ; their grate grand unkil died lately an left em a million 
 dollars apiece. 
 
 " Well, then/ says the widder, it ll do fer your son ; he won t 
 turn hiz nose up at twenty thousand. 
 
 " No, marm, says the admiral, certingly not. My son is a 
 second lootenant of marines, an he s already laid up sixty thousand 
 dollars off his pay. 
 
 " But then yourself, Admiral, smiled the pretty widder. 
 You wouldn t mind having the money to buy a pretty cottage 
 after this kruel war is over. 
 
 " Thank you kindly, marm, says the admiral, but I ve got 
 six cottages aready, an kin only occupy one at a time. I hev one 
 at Newport, one at Cape May, two at Long Branch, a palace in 
 Pennsylvania, an a magnifercent mansion at Annapolis Junction. 
 No, thank you, another cottage would be the fether as would brake 
 the kamel s bak. Besides, marm, the U. S. Government takes 
 most libberul care of me while livin , an propose at my deth to give 
 my wife a penshun of ten thousand a year, with five thousand to 
 each ov my children. Besides, I saved over six hundred thousand 
 dollars ov my lootenant s pay, an what would I want more ? But, 
 says the admiral, I shall be extremely happy if you ladies will 
 breakfast with me, wot was eggsactly wot them two widders 
 wanted. They had tried that game with Corporal Foster, an if 
 he d a bin there a week longer by hisself, or if he d bin admiral, 
 he d a caved in sure, for they d nearly reached his price. 
 
 " Lord bless you, Jim, how them pretty widders did rattle away 
 at that table under the effex of the shampane the admiral served 
 out to them, while he hisself stuck to hop bitters ! They sailed all 
 around him, and flung out their handsomest flags in way of signal. 
 
 "But the admiral was like Nelson at Copenhagen : he allus put 
 his spy glass to his blind eye. 
 
 " Then they fired on him with every gun they kud bring to 
 bare, at long an short range, with grape an shrapnel. Then they d 
 make all sail, in hopes he d give em a chance ; an when they seed 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 333 
 
 he wouldn t, they d double reef their topsails an furl their courses. 
 But it warn t no use. He sot and sipped hop hitters, an nary a 
 shot of theirn ever struck him below the water line ; an wen any 
 of his riggin was shot away he d splice an knot it together agin so 
 handy that they d never see how it was done. 
 
 " At last the widders caved in, an Mrs. Jenkins says, in a pout, 
 { Admiral, you hain t got no heart or you couldn t resist the plees 
 of two han som wimmen. 
 
 " Thank you, marm, says he, jest so ; I never have no heart 
 after breakfast, an if you please, marm, I ll attend now to orficial 
 bizness. 
 
 " But, Admiral/ sez the widder Jenkins, we ve come pertick- 
 erly to ask you to come a shootin with us. We have millions of 
 game on the place, an the finest dorgs in Louisianner. 
 
 " Now, says Corporal Foster, the admiral s a goner. He 
 can t stan that. An sure enuff he couldn t. Says he, I don t 
 care if I do jist try my dorg Ned, who, I m tole, is the best dorg 
 for huntin in the world. 
 
 " Lord, Jim Blazes, how them two smiled all over ! It wos like 
 ships in stays an the sales all beginnin to flutter. 
 
 " The admiral went an put on his huntin cote an called Cor 
 poral Foster, an says he, Do you know I thinks them are widders 
 intends to git me out in the country a huntin, an wen my gun 
 is fired off to capture me an turn me over to the rebbels ? So you 
 come along too. Jack Tiller, you carry my bird bag, an put a 
 rewolver into your pocket. An Foster, says he, git us haf a doz 
 en bawl cattriges apeece ; we don t know what fellers these widders 
 may have stowed away in them bushes out yander. 
 
 " But didn t the crew stair wen they see the admiral an his reti- 
 new ! An didn t the widders giggle an skip along like two young 
 deer I 
 
 " Widder Jenkins says to the admiral, Parley voos frongsay ? 
 No, thank you, marm, says he, not too much, though the ole 
 koon he knowed the French parley voos like a duck. Then the 
 widders began to jabber in French together, wile the admiral he 
 tuk in every word they sed. 
 
 " Says widder Angler, I jist want you to cross this feeld an 
 look at my pile of cotton. I know youre hart will relent, Admi 
 ral, wen you see it, an she tole the other widder, in French, there 
 was a pile of fifty bales all by theirselves, an wen I tell him it s 
 hisn it ll fetch him sure ; no man kin stan that. 
 
334: INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 "Just at that moment the dog Ned began to sniff the air, an 
 crawled along to a Virginny fence ; then he jumped on the fence 
 and stuk out his tale like a tug s tiller, an then he turned his hed 
 an looked at the admiral. 
 
 "The admiral crawled up an looked through the fence ; then 
 he let drive both barls, when, hevins an earth ! I never heerd such 
 a flutterin as there was in that field. The Ad. had seen a large 
 covey of quail sittin with their heds together, an he killed every 
 one in the lot. 
 
 " The dog Ned ran off barkin an growlin in a most unac 
 countable manner. All the hair on his back was turned the t other 
 way, an he looked more like a catamount than a dorg. After 
 barkin hisself horse an refusin to be passerfied, he run away clean, 
 only stoppin once to sit up on his stern sheets an put his paw to 
 his nose, as much as to say, I knows you, Dicky Riker. That 
 was the last the admiral seed of that ere dorg for a long time to 
 come. 
 
 " Jack, says the admiral, present them birds to the ladies. 
 
 " Does you suppose I d tech your birds ? said widder Jen 
 kins, turnin up her lip like the clew of a mizzen royal. What do 
 you take me for ? "Why even your dorg is disgusted with you. No, 
 sir, I m a sportsman, not a pot hunter, an if that s what you 
 Yankeys calls sport, I d advise you not to gun much round this 
 country, or you ll get lynched. The admiral was cool as possible, 
 while Missus Jenkins was a bilin over. Then widder Angler tuk 
 it up. Sez she, Ef I was in reach of a justice of the peece I d hev 
 you arrested, sir, for poachin an trespassin . There ain t a ad 
 miral in the Confed rit serviss as would hev done sich a thing. It 
 maid even your dorg desert the flag, the dirty rag you sale under. 
 An there s Captin Foster looks as if he was a goin to desart you 
 too, an sarve you right. 
 
 " Foster didn t say a word, but he looked mighty glum. 
 
 " What s up, Foster ? says the admiral ; is you a sidin with 
 the ladies ? 
 
 " Well, sir, says the corporal, that s werry sharp practis. I 
 an Ned ain t use to that kind of shootin , an ten to one he ll com 
 mit sooicide. 
 
 " Not a bit of it, says the admiral ; he s a desarter, an if I 
 catch him I ll try him by court martial an shoot him. Bong joor, 
 ladies, says he ; ( jer parlfrongsay komme voo I an off he walked 
 back to the ship. 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 335 
 
 " The widders tried to persuade Corporal Foster to go gunnin 
 with, them, but he saw the signal from the flag ship where the ad 
 miral had arrived for all ossifers to repare on board. So he hed to 
 say good bye to the ladies, an* we didn t see them widders no more. 
 
 "Wen Corporal Foster got on bord the flag, the admiral says 
 to him, Foster, says he, that was a mighty narrer escaip we had. 
 Did you see them fellers a movin among the bushes ? I knew 
 wen I slottered them ere birds the two sportin widders would rile 
 up, an my objec was to pick a quarrel an not go no further. 
 They d a had us in ten minutes more. 
 
 " Thunder ! says Foster, who d a thort it ? now I see it awl. 
 Old Sam Weller was rite about widders, an no mistake. 
 
 " Well, Foster, says the admiral, this is a lesson to you; 
 keep clear of them widders ; don t call on em, an be perticilar an 
 don t take tea with em. If you catch Ned, try him an hang him. 
 I m goin right up river, an as you re short ov men, I ll leave Jack 
 Tiller an the barge s crew with you, an mind, look out for the 
 widders. 
 
 " Haf a hour arter that the flag ship was a boomin up river an 
 I was under command of Corporal Foster. 
 
 " The fust thing ole Foster did was to stick a long hickory pole 
 over the bow an rig a torpedo catcher, which was a deep net de- 
 sendin below the bottom. 
 
 " That same night there was a tremenjous flutterin in the net, 
 an the lookout sings out, We ve cotched a alligaiter ! 
 
 "The captin run forrard with a Springfeeld rifle an sings out, 
 Who s there ? I m goin to shoot ! 
 
 " Don t shoot, hollers out a feller in the net. I m a torpedo 
 an I might explode ! 
 
 " ( Ah, sez the corporal, you re there are you ? Bring up fif 
 teen more Springfeelds an stan by to fire wen I tells you. Now, 
 Mister, answer my questions or I ll bio you to smithereens. 
 
 " Anythin you like, Mister Ossifer, but don t fire. I m a 
 Union man. 
 
 " Wot kinder torpeder you got there ? says Foster. 
 
 " Two twenty pound dynymite, bound to explode in forty 
 minutes. 
 
 " Let em explode then, says Foster. f They can t hurt us I 
 
 " Lord ! save me, says the torpedo. 
 
 " Who sent you on this expydition ? says Foster. 
 
336 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " ( Widder Angler an* widder Jenkins, says he. 
 
 " Jump inter the gig, boys, says the corporal, an take them 
 ere things an put em right under widder Angler s stable ; an 
 werry soon we planted them torpedoes accordin to orders. 
 
 " We hauled the prisoner outer the net an stowed him away in 
 the cole hole. 
 
 " Then we sot an waited, an in a few minutes if there wasn t 
 a commotion in them regions my name isn t Jack Tiller. The 
 barn wos full of hay and cotting, an wen the torpedoes busted the 
 explosion sounded like as if a thousand guns had gone off all to 
 once. Stones, planks, an shingles fell around us like hale. One 
 old mule lit rite en top of our safety-valve. Then the ruings tuk 
 fire, an the burnin of Moskow wasn t a circumstance to it. 
 
 " I guess we re even with them widders, Tiller, says the cap- 
 ting. Just look at em streakin across the feeld, an sure enuif, 
 by the lite ov the fire there was the widders goin lickety split 
 across the country, makin for the woods, an they hadn t stopped 
 to put on their huntin soots either not much ! It struck me 
 they looked as much like Wenus as anythink I ever see. 
 
 " Cows, bosses, dogs, cats, pigs, an chickens was all runnin 
 for deer life, an it was enuff to make a cat larf to see em jumbled 
 together an goin like mad. 
 
 " That s the last torpeder the rebs ever sot for us, an I rekon 
 wen the rebbel Sekkertary of the Navy heern tell on it he larfed 
 t other side ov his mouth. 
 
 "Just two months arter this a ole nigger come alongside in a 
 kanoo, an says he, Massa Captin, I bring you some noos by wich 
 you kin make your fortin . My ole massa is a Union man, an* 
 about a week ago the rebs done give him a beatin with a cowhide 
 coz he wud continer to draw his penshon from Uncle Sam. He 
 said he d be a Union man as long as they d pay him, an I bleev 
 they d all a done the same. 
 
 " Then the ole darkey tuk from his wool a small roll of paper 
 informin Captin Foster that some of Kirby Smith s ossifers an 
 men had been haul in cotton with mule teams to a place three 
 miles below the mouth of Eed Kiver ; that there was now one hun 
 dred and twenty bales ready for shipment at that point, an if Cap- 
 tin Foster would start that nighte at 12 he would bag all the cot 
 ton, the soldiers, an the steemer that was goin to take it to Noo 
 Orleens. An the ole darkey would pilot him to the pint where the 
 capter could be maid. 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 337 
 
 " If there was anything Corporal Foster had a nose for it was 
 cotton. I ve known him, goin down the river twelve knots a hour, 
 sniff the air an then give the border to round to, an sure enuff 
 berhind the levee would be a bail or so of cotting wich he would 
 littrally bag. 
 
 "Thare was grate excitement on bord the Larfyette. Fifty 
 men was picked out an armed with Remington rifles, five botes was 
 got ready, an by ten that nite we was all prepaired. 
 
 " Corporal Foster had on a ole suit of gray an a slouch hat ; 
 his trousers were stuck in his boots, an he looked like a reglar 
 hoosher an no mistaik. 
 
 "The five botes shoved off, the ole nigger goin as gide in 
 charge of two men, who had orders to blow the top of his hed orf 
 in case of any trickery. 
 
 " * I shoodn t be susprized, says the corporal, if I come in 
 contact with them two widders before I git back. If I do, an 
 they re up to any of their tricks, I ll give } em sich a spankin they 
 won t be able to set down for a week, says the corporal. 
 
 "In an hour we arrived within harf a mild of the place, an 
 then went ashore, leaviu a few men in charge of the botes, an , 
 piloted by the ole darkey, we crawled along under the levee as 
 quiet as mice ; an arter a while the ole darkey pinted out the wag- 
 gins, an , by the lite of a fire, the rebs was seen sittin around eatin 
 their grub very quiet an comfortable. 
 
 " Now, boys, says the corporal, I m goin in to hold some 
 conversation with them fellers. You crawl up towards em ; wile 
 I m talkin to em an amoosin em you creep in an surround em. 
 Wen you heer me sing out "Corporal Foster," advance on em 
 with fixed bagnets, but mind don t fire onless I tell you. Now, 
 says he, guard agin all precautions. 
 
 " The capting walked along, an , on account of the stampin of 
 the mules, the rebs didn t heer him, an he was right among em 
 afore they knowed it. He hadn t even a jacknife to defend hisself 
 against the sixteen men the rebs had. The fust thing they knew, 
 says he, How are you, pards, kin you give a feller some supper ? 
 
 "In a instant there was a dozen muskets pinted at the cor 
 poral. 
 
 " Who are you ? says the leader of the gang, an wot in thun 
 der are you doin here ? 
 
 " Wall, says Foster, I ain t afrade, anyhow ; I m too hungry, 
 an this havin been made a free country by the Confed rit Govern- 
 
 22 
 
338 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 ment, I guess I can peramberlate round without axin any one s 
 opinion. Hev you anything to say to that, Gin ral ? 
 
 "The kompliment of bein called gin ral was too much for the 
 rebbel ossifer, an he lowered his musket, sayin , Stranger, you 
 come mitey neer gettin a ball thro your hed just now, an you must 
 be a darned fool to go wanderin round among sodgers. 
 
 " I m allers gettin into trouble, says the corporal, wanderin 
 round where I oughtn t to, an I hev three or four balls in my hed 
 now in conserkence. The fact is, I seen them cows up thai* an 
 was a lookin for a bucket to milk em in. I couldn t use my hat, 
 says he, <coz it s full of holes. An so it was, sure enuff, for the 
 corporal used his hat for a target wen he practiced with a rifle. 
 
 " Look here, says Foster, can t you give a feller a mouth- 
 full ? 
 
 " Well, yes, says the leader, pervided you do your share of 
 loadin the steamer when she comes. 
 
 " Of course, says Foster ; Til not only do that but I ll put 
 more cotton on board than any three men here. 
 
 " Bosh ! they all sung out, but if you don t we ll cob you. 
 
 " All right, says Foster, who sot hisself down and began to 
 eat so yoracious that the rebs thort he was goin to breed a famin . 
 
 " Grashus heavings! says the hed rebbel; stranger, if you 
 don t stop you ll bust your biler ! 
 
 " I ain t eten nothin solider an milk for three days, says the 
 corporal, an then he began tellin stories an a shoutin an a laffin 
 so that they didn t hear us closin in around em. But the captin 
 saw the ends of our bagnets as they poked over the levee, an thort 
 it was time to be movin . Stretching hisself, he says, Gin ral, 
 considerin I m expected to put most of this cotting on board a 
 steamer to pay for my supper, I must say this is the meanest square 
 meal I ever sot down to. If the Confed rit Guv ment can t do no 
 better n that, it had better git up an git. On the hull, I berleeve 
 I ll shirk my contrack, and won t tech the cotton onless you give 
 me a bottle of wiskey an a boned turkey. 
 
 "With that the leader of the gang jumps up an sings out, 
 Seize that feller an duck him, an make him drink a bucket of 
 river water. 
 
 " As sure as my name is Corporal Foster, says the captin in 
 a loud voice, the fust man that moves dies. An the rebels found 
 themselves covered with 4 dozen rifles. The rebbels subsided to 
 wonst wen they found how things was goin . Our master at arms 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 339 
 
 slapped the darbies on to the men, an a guard was put over the 
 ossifers. 
 
 " Now, says the corporal to the prisoners, f boys, what do you 
 think of the damned ole hoosher, as one of you corled me just now ? 
 But don t be fritened ; I won t eat you, notwithstandin your bad 
 supper. But it was the best you had, an I ll give you a better one. 
 
 " Here, Mr. Spangler, says he to the fust lootenant, take all 
 these peeple back to the karts. I see the lites of the steemer a corn- 
 in up. Keep em under strick gard, an if any man tries to signal 
 that steemer, or hollers to put em on their gard, bagnet him at 
 once. 
 
 " Pretty soon a big fast stemebote come up to the levee and threw 
 out her lines, wich our men made fast to the trees. 
 
 " Doorin this time thirty ov our men was behind the cotton 
 bales, an the moment the gang plank was run out they rushed 
 abord, heded by our cheef engineer and assistants, who tuk charge 
 of the mersheenery. 
 
 " Captin Foster walked quietly up to the stemebote captin, who 
 had jist lit a pine torch which showed the han some countenance OY 
 our ole frend Captin Longeye, who sold us the Uncle Sam. 
 
 " The poor devil was took quite aback wen he saw the corporal, 
 an wen that ole Injannyman tuk from the bak ov his cote a Ar- 
 kansaw tooth pick two feet long and hauled a revolver out of his 
 pocket, Captin Longeye dropped his torch an sot down on a box 
 cov rin his face with his han s. The jig s up, sez he, an I m a 
 goner agin ! 
 
 " Yes, sez the corporal, you re derilick agin on the hi seas, 
 an you ll be hung for violatin the articles of war, wich forbids giv- 
 in aid an comfort to an enemy. Put the darbys on him, says 
 Foster to the master at arms, an tie him to a stanchion, which 
 was done. Then the corporal lectered him on the enormity ov his 
 crimes, sellin a vessel to the Gov ment wich he admitted hisself 
 wasn t seaworthy. Then committin piracy on the high sees by 
 touchin cotton which he knew the navee was only waitin for a 
 chance to gobble. Then his consortin with rebbels, the enemies 
 of the Guv ment, an last, but not the leest, violatin the Consti- 
 tooshun ov the United Staits in not obtainin the admiral s per- 
 mishun to navergate these waters. Horrible ! says Captain Fos 
 ter, horrible ! 
 
 " Old Longeye hadn t a word to say, but could only grone and 
 cry, I m a goner ! 
 
340 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " Now, Tiller, says Corporal Foster, you take the wheel, and 
 mind you don t sink half a dozen macheen shops and run agin the 
 bank. 
 
 "In three hours we had all the cotton, oxen, mules, and prison 
 ers on board the steemer, an in harf an hour after we was alongside 
 the Larfyett, me a steerin , an I tell you, Jim Blazes, the way I 
 brought that there vessel to her position would a done your heart 
 good to see. 
 
 " I only smashed the Larfyette s port quarter bote an knocked 
 orf six paddle bords by runnin into the tug wich was lyin astern. 
 You never seen a come too done better in the navee, tho ole Long- 
 eye, in his spite at bein took prisoner, did say to me, ( You know 
 as much about steerin a Mississippi stemebote as a elephunt does 
 about dancin . The only anser I maid was to put a rope round 
 my neck an hold it up very significant, wen he subsided with a 
 grone. 
 
 "Wen we mustered the rebbels on bord the Larfyett we found 
 we had the follerin prisoners : Kurnel Krawfish, C. S. A., Major 
 Grayback, Captins Dumplin, Bushhead, an Leaky, two sargents, 
 one korporal, an eight privates. The ole darky, who had been our 
 pilot an done such good servis, went home before the rebbils could 
 ketch site of him, informin one of our men that he would be along 
 side the Larfyette some fine mornin with his wife an eight children 
 with a lot of chickens an turkeys belongin to the Confed rits. The 
 last thing he sed was, ( I shall take all the spoils ov the Confeds, 
 Massa, an mo besides. 
 
 " Corporal Foster invited the kurnel an major to mess in the 
 cabin, an , supposin they was tired, showed them to their stait 
 rooms. As the kurnel was about to shet his door he says to the 
 corporal the fust words he had spoke to him. Captin Foster, 
 says he, the thing I hate wust about this bizness is havin to sleep 
 a nite under the folds ov the blarsted Union flag ; it s enuff to maik 
 a man sick ! 
 
 " Well, sez the corporal, don t let that trouble you, for the 
 last time I spent the nite in that ere stait room it was run away 
 with bed buggs and cockroaches, an I couldn t close my eyes. There 
 must be about a million of em there now. If you like, I ll lay an 
 American flag over the bed, an the bugs can t get through it, though 
 the cockroaches will flop down from the cracks overhead. 
 
 "Well, you may bet your life Kurnel Krawfish, C. S. A., sub 
 sided, an we heered no more from him till next mornin . 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 341 
 
 "Wen the kurnel an major was called to brekfast their faces 
 looked as if they had had small pox. They didn t say nothin , but 
 sot down an et. 
 
 " Kurnel, says Corporal Foster, here s some spring chickens 
 off widder Angler s farm an some fresh eggs, an here s some splen 
 did porter house stakes off them cattle of yourn, an some nice butter 
 an hominy from Captin Longeye s stores. Help yourself, an eat 
 as much as you want, for if all your meals is like that supper of 
 yourn last nite you must be allfired hungry. 
 
 " Never mind, sir, says the kurnel, mity dignified; f every 
 dorg has his day, Captin Foster. It may be your turn next, so 
 you d better stop pokin fun at me ; an remember, sir, I m a 
 pris ner. 
 
 " I sha n t forget it, says the corporal, ( an have doubled the 
 sentrys, with orders to put a bullet through the fust pris ner what 
 goes too near the ship s side. Arter that, ov course the conversa 
 tion wanrt animated. 
 
 " The pris ners had been aboard two days wen Captin Leaky 
 come to Corporal Foster an says he, Captin, I ve somethin very 
 particlar an confidenshal to tell you. 
 
 " Well, start your mill, says old Foster, an grind out your 
 meal, wich was a figger of speech the ole man sometimes used for 
 short. 
 
 " Well, sir, says Leaky, the kurnel and the major is both 
 goin to be married, an the weddin is sot for this day week, an all 
 the preparations is maid. 
 
 " Jerusalem ! says Foster. Well, go on. 
 
 " Now, says Leaky, I m come from the kurnel to ask if you ll 
 parole us long enuff to hav the seremony performed. Me and Cap- 
 tin Dumplin and Bushhead is to be groomsmen, an the kurnel will 
 giv a solem promiss to come back the day arter the weddin and 
 stop with you until we are reg larly exchanged. 
 
 " No, sirree, says the corporal, not if this Court know hisself. 
 Why, do you suppose I want to hav the admiral hang me for aidin 
 an abettin the enemy, which he would do easy as rollin off a log ? 
 Not as you knows on. I m not one ov them kind. Let the wed 
 din wait. Perhaps arter a time the parties will cool off. 
 
 " Leaky begged and praid for an hour, tellin wot a horrible 
 condishun they was placed in, an wot suffrins the captin mite 
 save the two lovely hangels wot they was about to lead to the hyme- 
 nial halter wen this catastrophy overtook em, an wen all the 
 
342 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 money they expected to use in gettin the bridle truesow was gob 
 bled up by the capture ov the cottin. 
 
 " May I ask/ says Corporal Foster, wot mought be the names 
 ov them two luyly angels as is goin to lead them hossifers to the 
 halter? 
 
 " Well, says Captin Leaky, I will tell you in strick confer- 
 dence. Perhaps their naims an suffrins will tech your hart. If 
 you could only know them ladies you would wenerate J em for their 
 virtoos, innosense, an beauty. They are so kind an angel like they 
 wouldn t hurt a mouse, an all their time is spent in works ov chairi- 
 ty. Kurnel Krawfish hopes to lead to the hymenial halter the boo- 
 tiful Missus Jenkins, my cousin, the widder ov the lait Kurnel Jen 
 kins, who cut his throat six months ago in a fit of delirium tremens. 
 Major Grayback proposes to jine hands with the luvly an accom 
 plished widder Angler, whose late husband didn t come forward to 
 jine the Confederacy wen the war broke out. As it is a case ov 
 wife desertion, we pronounce em divorced. 
 
 " I see, says Foster. 
 
 " Now, captin, says Leaky, I put the matter afore you as a 
 hi toned Kristian gentleman who loves his feller creeters an who 
 can picter to his own gen rous sole the evils that will foller if this 
 weddin should be postponed, the ag ny ov them there lovely angels 
 whose nites pass in teers owin to the capter of their future hus- 
 ban s, the dispare ov the two noble men you hold as pris ners, the 
 disappintment ov we three young men who have spent three bar- 
 rils full of Confed rit notes buyin clothes an weddin presents, an the 
 satisfaction it will give two other fellers who are also courtin the 
 widders an rejoicin over the misfortins ov we pore fellers this 
 very moment. 
 
 " Look a hear, Leaky, says Foster, you re a young man, an* 
 that s why you talk so much like a idiot. Don t you remember 
 wot Sam Weller s father told him " Don t have nothin to do with 
 widders." 
 
 " Yes, says Leaky, but these isn t the common run ov wid 
 ders ; they re angels. 
 
 " Jes so, says Foster; I ve heard ov em, an their bein 
 angels may make a diffrunce. But on the hole I like the way the 
 Hindews treat their widders ; they burn em up ; an in some ov 
 the South Pacific I lands they like the widders so much they eat 
 em. I ve no doubt these officers would do the same six months 
 after marriage ; an by keepin em here until they are exchanged, 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 343 
 
 the widders will marry them other fellers, an these two gallant offi 
 cers will thank me in the end. 
 
 " You are a hard harted man, Captin Foster, says Leaky, 
 bustin into teers an cryin like a child. But Foster only said, It 
 can t be done, an there s no use talkin . I don t want to be hung, 
 an I won t be for the angelest widder in the Southern Confed ricy. 
 
 " Captin Foster seemed to be reel sorry coz he couldn t graterfy 
 the young feller ; but Leaky soon got over his disappintment, as 
 Foster cheered him up. At last Leaky says, Captin, I ll thank 
 you for a chew of terbakker. Then the captin knowed he was 
 saved. 
 
 ( Then they talked ov various matters and things till Leaky for 
 got all about the widders an his unhappiness, till finally he sed, 
 By the way, Captin Foster, do you kno we captured your admi 
 ral? 
 
 " Captured wot ? says Foster, jumpin up, an me an all the 
 men as was near closed up to heer wot was sed. 
 
 "Yes, sir, says Leaky, your admiral is in our possession a 
 pris ner ov war. 
 
 " How in thunder did you hear that ? says Foster. 
 
 " Well, says Leaky, I saw him captured. I was thar. 
 
 " When ? says Foster. Speak quick, or you ll hear from me. 
 
 " Well, says Leaky, it was about three weeks ago we cort him 
 swimmin across the river, picked him up, and hav had him ever 
 since. 
 
 " Bosh ! says Foster. I heered from the admiral four days 
 ago ; he s in Cairo. 
 
 " But, says Leaky, we captured a brown setter dorg with a 
 brass collar marked "Admiral Porter," an we call him the "Ad 
 miral," and if there s one person been to see him after hearin the 
 admiral was captured, there s been a thousand. He s the rummest 
 dog I ever seen, an can do more tricks than a slite ov hand per 
 former. People tried so hard to steal the dorg that the kurnel had 
 to detail a gard ov ten men to watch him. 
 
 " Jupiter ! says Foster, how wonderful is the ways ov Provi 
 dence ! If I hadn t captured this ere party I d never heerd of that 
 ere dorg agin. There should be some compensation in orl things, 
 an I think the kurnel deserves his reward an his widder. I ll tell 
 you what I ll do, Leaky. You can say to your kurnel that I ll ex 
 change your hole party for that dorg, pervidin he is brought to 
 me safe and sound under a flag of truce along with those too booti- 
 
344 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 ful widders, when the exchanges of the officers will be maid out an* 
 they can go where they pleas . Moreover, I pledge myself to have 
 maid for the weddin out ov old Longeye s flour, sugar, and eggs a 
 hundred pounder cake for the weddin feast an will put into the 
 middle ov it a diamant ring wuth not less than a hundred dollars. 
 
 " Will you ? says Leaky, his eyes stickin out with astonish 
 ment, an away he run down into the cabin to tell the kurnel wot 
 Foster had sed. 
 
 " In about haf a minite Kurnel Krawfish bounced on deck, his 
 face red as a biled lobster, his hare standin on end, an his eyes 
 stickin out. He walked strait up to Corporal Foster, who was busy 
 that moment seein how often he could squirt terbakker juice into 
 a spit box. He didn t see the kernel, but, when the old feller sung 
 out, Captin Foster, how dare you offer me sich a insult ? et cetery, 
 and so forth, ( Hello, says Foster, wot s up, whose killed, and 
 what s soured the milk ? 
 
 " Why, says Kurnel Krawfish, you ve offered me an my offi 
 cers the greatest insult one man could offer another, proposin to 
 exchange me for a setter dorg ! 
 
 " Yet, says Foster, Captin Leaky jumped at the offer, an 
 nearly broke his neck in the hurry to get to the cabin. Did he tell 
 you ov my proposin to throw in a hundred pound cake, an to get 
 the two pretty widders here to receeve you an take you home ? 
 
 " What ! says the kurnel, does my ears derceive me ? Am 
 I alive ? Does any one dare address such talk to me an live ? 
 
 "Yes, sir, says Foster, I dare, an there s the shore, an you 
 needn t consider yourself a pris ner durin the time you an I are 
 settlin any little dispoot. 
 
 " The kurnel looked as if he would like to jump on Foster, but 
 the corporal was six feet four an had a arm like a blacksmith. So 
 the kurnel quieted down an walked back to the cabin, went into 
 his stait room, where he tuck all his meals, an couldn t be per 
 suaded to come out. 
 
 " This lasted two days, an it only wanted five days ov the time 
 sot for the weddin , while, as Leaky techingly remarked, them two 
 angelic widders was a bustin their harts and weepin pearly tears, 
 every one ov wich was wuth a fortin. 
 
 " Forternately, greef don t last for ever, an wisdom comes by 
 experience. 
 
 " In the course ov forty eight hours the kurnel wanted to see 
 his widder, the major wanted to see hisn, and the three captins 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 345 
 
 wanted to git the wuth ov the nine bails of Confed rit munny they 
 had spent atween em in wed din presents an outfits. Major Gray- 
 back didn t see things in the same lite as the kurnel, and the three 
 captins thought Krawfish a darned ole fool for puttin on sich 
 ares. 
 
 " There was a grate pow wow goin on all day long for three days 
 among the pris ners, an they almost wore the cabin ladder out run- 
 nin up an down. 
 
 "The rest ov em went down on their knees to the kurnel, till 
 finally Major Gray back told him he beleeved he wanted to git outer 
 his engagement to the angelic Missus Jenkins, an that the other 
 feller who was a courtin of her would carry her off, an he hoped 
 to dance at his weddin , for wich languidge Kurnel Krawfish said 
 he demanded satisfaction as soon as they got on shore. 
 
 " Howsomever, that last remark ov the major was the camel as 
 broke the feather s back, an the kurnel said, ( Do as you dam plees, 
 only I shall resine from the army as soon as I am married an go an 
 establish myself in Timbuctoo. Don t let me/ says he, ever see 
 that man Foster s face agin, even wen I am leevin his ship ; an 
 if ever I take him pris ner I will put him to death on the spot. 
 
 " I don t see how that can happen, Kurnel, says Gray back, 
 as it isn t likely Foster will ever go to Timbuctoo ; an if he does, 
 you will be so glad to see a white man there you ll embrace him 
 on the spot. 
 
 " Captin Leaky lost no time in tellin Foster the kurnel had 
 agreed to the exchange, and seemed reddy to bust with delite. 
 Foster then handed him the follerin paper for signin : 
 
 " We, the undersigned, for the mutual benefit ov the Gov - 
 ments ov the United Staits and the Suthern Confed racy, do cov - 
 nant an agree to what is hereinafter set forth, whiz : 
 
 " Captin Foster, better known as Corporal Foster, does agree 
 to liberate the Confed rit officers whose names are sined to this paper, 
 an permit them to return to there homes in exchange for one brown 
 setter dorg call Ned, a desarter from the Mississippi squadron, pro 
 vided the said dorg Ned is delivered into the hands of Captin Foster 
 on bord the U. S. S. Larfyett, free ov expens to the United Staits, 
 within three days time from dait, wen the Confed rit officers whose 
 naims are sined to this paper shall be allowed to depart with their 
 side arms an effects. 
 
 " Provided further, That the said dorg Ned, a desarter from 
 
34:6 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 the Navy ov the United Staits, shall be handid over to the sed Fos 
 ter by those two angelic widders, Mrs. Jennie Angler an Mrs. Julia 
 Jenkins, in person, to whom a recete in full will be given for the 
 saim. 
 
 " * Provided further, That the sed Foster binds hisself to have 
 maid a weddin cake not less than one hundred pound wate, in the 
 highest stile ov art, for the weddin ov the two angelic widders afore 
 said ; which cake he is to present to them on the quarter dek ov the 
 Larfyett as a piece maker. 
 
 " Unto wich the hi* contractin partys do hereunto set there 
 hans an seels this day ov . 
 
 " This dokkyment was submitted to all the parties consarned, 
 who awl agreed to it except the kurnel. He almost jumped out of 
 his boots in his raige. 
 
 "He wouldn t here of his fieansay visitin Foster s ship, an he 
 demanded to see Cap tin Foster at once. 
 
 "The corporal invited the hull party into the cabin to discuss 
 the matter amercably, an said he would satisfy em all that the 
 terms was the best in the world for all parties consarned, an said 
 how easy it was for em all to get off for only one pris ner in re 
 turn. 
 
 " Do you mene to put us on a par with a dorg ? says the kur 
 nel. That s outragus ! 
 
 " An then, says Foster, just think ov our lib rality in pur- 
 vidin a hundred pound cake to eat at the weddin , to say nothin 
 ov the bootiful present that will be in the insides ov it. 
 
 " Konfound your kake an present ! says the kurnel ; 1 1 want 
 none ov it. 
 
 " Jes so, says Cap tin Foster. 
 
 " An let me tell you, Captin Foster, says the kurnel, I objec 
 to any lady ov my acquaintance, especially one to be connected with 
 me by marriage, visitin your ship under any circumstances what- 
 somever. 
 
 " f Jes so, says Foster, but let me tell you I heered yesterday 
 through an old darkey named Washington Buggs that "hi jinks" 
 was bein plaid while you was away, that Kurnel Fiddles was clean 
 gone on your widder, an she had promised if she didn t here from 
 you in five days he should have a favor ble anser. The kurnel prom 
 ises to spend nine barls ov Confed rit scrip on the widder in case 
 she ll hav him. 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 347 
 
 "Kurnel Krawfish jumped up an rushed around the cabin, say- 
 in , Woman, thi name is fralety, Twas always this from chile- 
 hood s our, an a lot ov other stuff I can t remember. 
 
 " Jes so, says the corporal, it was allers so ever since I en 
 tered the navee, an it allers will be so. An I will furder remark 
 that Mister Buggs, the cullud gentleman aforesed, importer ov the 
 abov mentioned startlin news, did say in my presence that the 
 angelic widder, Mrs. Jenkins, was very sweet on Kurnel Fiddles. 
 
 " I ll shoot Fiddles on site ! roared the kurnel, even if it s 
 at the imenial halter. 
 
 " Jes so, says Foster, but Buggs says he thort if Kuniel 
 Krawfish would appear on the ground soon as possible the widder 
 would drop old Fiddles like a hot pertater. Furthermore, the kul- 
 lerd gentleman said he bleeved the aforesed Kurnel Fiddles was a 
 practicin his trix upon the widder, an magnetizm her as sure as 
 there are possums in ole Virginny, the State he come from. 
 
 " Poor deluded darlin ! said the kurnel. Captain Foster, I 
 accept the terms you offer, an will get my fiansay here, out ov the 
 way ov that willian s matchinations. If you ll permit me, Captin, 
 I ll marry her on bord here, an if you ll gimme a old kanoo, I ll 
 drift with her all the way to Bayou Lafoorch. 
 
 " Jes so, says Foster, but how about your gettin marred 
 under the foles ov that detested flag a floatin there ? 
 
 " * Oh, anythin to save my widder from the matchinations ov 
 that willian Fiddles "the menes justifys the ends." : 
 
 " Jes so/ says Foster, but, as I wants you all to celebrate the 
 cuttin ov the pound cake, you must git marred to home. 
 
 " After all matters was settled satisfactory, the kurnel held out 
 his hand to Foster, an the corporal shuck it so the kernel had to 
 rub it that nite with operdeldock. 
 
 " Not a moment was lost, an the tug bote (Jessie Benton) was 
 to go up with a flag ov truce an bring down the ladies and the pris- 
 ner Ned. 
 
 " Then Captin Leaky wrote a letter to each ov the angelic wid- 
 ders an to some other young ladies in the destrick. 
 
 " The tug left at two in the arternoon, an was expected back 
 before sunset, an you may imagine there was joyful times on bord 
 the Larfayett. 
 
 " About five o clock the tug was reported comin , an wen she 
 got close the quartermaster said as how blue and red signals was a 
 flyin , but he cooden t make em out. But wen the tug come close 
 
348 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 we see it was the enchantin widders, an our dorg Ned in the bow 
 a barkin like mad. 
 
 " As soon as the tug got alongside, Ned jumped abord an flung 
 hisself at Captin Foster s feet ; but the captin didn t notiss the tra- 
 tor, but tole the master at arms to put the kriminal in dubble irons 
 an* put a gard over him. An away slinked pore Ned with his tale 
 atween his legs an teers runnin out ov his eyes like they was pored 
 out ov a waterin pot. 
 
 " Corporal Foster receeved the two ladies at the gangway, who 
 jumped abord like two fairys into the arms ov their futur husbans. 
 There was never such joy an happiness on ship bord since Noer s 
 arc grounded on Mount Aryrat. All bans tuck tea that evenin in 
 the captin s cabin, an kep up the enchantment till late at nite. 
 
 " In the course ov conversation the widder Angler remarked to 
 Captin Foster, Captin, if you had accepted my invitation to tea 
 that nite I asked you, the boot d a bin on the other leg, an you 
 would now have been in Shreveport. 
 
 " Jes so, says Foster ; but how so ? 
 
 " Well, says she, I had Major Grayback stowed away in the 
 kitchen with eight men ready to carry you orf. 
 
 " Jes so, says Foster, an jus before dusk I seen em in the 
 distance, an in case I had gone on shore I had detached twenty 
 marines to surround the house. If the major will remember, wen 
 he come out that nite he couldn t find his bosses. We captured 
 em, an not wishin to cors bloodshed an stampede your chickens, 
 we let matters rest there. 
 
 " The widder Angler never smiled a mite, an Major Grayback 
 tried to turn the conversation. 
 
 " But, sed the pretty widder Jenkins, t we came neer baggin 
 that ole pot hunter ov an admiral, an if he d a gone a mile furder 
 we d a bagged the pare ov you, an we d now be showin you off in 
 a cage. 
 
 " Jes so/ says Foster, only the ole pot hunter was wider awake 
 than any ov us. Wen he left the ship he ordered twenty marines 
 to foller him on shore as soon as he d got four hundred yards away 
 an keep close to us all the time. Seein your men in the bushes, 
 an not wishin to have you ladies accerdenterly get a ball in your 
 bussles, he took advantage ov the oppertunity to fire into them 
 birds an distrack your attention. As you got mad an abused him, 
 he pretended to be too, an turned back ; but if ever you meet the 
 officer who commanded those Confed rit soldiers, he ll tell you he 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 349 
 
 was so hard chased he had to throw off his milingtary hoots, an 
 his men had to throw away their guns an napsacs, an we picked em. 
 all up. 
 
 " Widder Jenkins didn t smile a mite after this, an the kurnel 
 tried to change the conversation also. 
 
 " Then they all sed they was tired, an went to bed, the ladies 
 sleepin in the captin s cabin. 
 
 "Next mornin at eight o clock the tug was reddy to take all 
 the Confed rits to their homes, an all sed they was sorry to leeve. 
 As they was gettin into the tug, Foster says, * Ladies, there s one 
 pusson you never asked about, an that is your torpedo you sent 
 down on me one nite, an who got hooked into our torpedo net. 
 We ve got him yit, but you kin have him if you want him. 
 
 " ( Good Heavings ! sed the widders, we thort you killed him ; 
 you re a deer good man ; do give him to us. 
 
 " Jest so, sed the corporal. e Master at Arms, bring up the 
 Confed rit torpedo, an up come the most remarkable objec you ever 
 see. 
 
 ( It was a human bein stripped to his waste, with the American 
 flag painted all round his body an the Union jack in the middle ov 
 his chest. His legs from the nees down wos painted with red and 
 wite stripes. One side ov his face was blue, t other side red. Oh, 
 but he was a booty ! The women shreeked wen they see him, an 
 the crew give three chairs. 
 
 "But the torpedo was too glad to git away on any terms. He 
 dove hed foremost into the tug an hid hisself among the kole. It 
 took him a month to get that ere paint off, for it was dried on an 
 covered with two cotes ov varnish. 
 
 " Well, the ladies waved their handkerchefs an the men their 
 hats, an the tug was soon lost site ov in the mouth ov Red River. 
 The last thing we see was the big weddin cake on top ov the pilot 
 house, but we never agin sot eyes onto them angel widders an their 
 fyansays, but we heered on em once more on their weddin nite. 
 
 " Now, that job bein off Corporal Foster s hands, he sent for 
 the fust lootenant, an says he, I m a goin to try Captin Longeye 
 an condem the steemer Lively Peggy for bein derilick an for her 
 captin affordin aid an comfort to the enemy an for gen ral de 
 pravity. 
 
 " But, captin, says the fust lootenant, a Cort of Admiralty 
 can t be established without a act ov Congris. 
 
 " Congris be whittled, says the corporal. f I ll show you that 
 
350 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 I m a law unto myself an can establish any kind ov court I plees. 
 Sims the pirate did it, why shouldn t I ? Bring up the pris ner, 
 Captin Jim Longeye. 
 
 " The corporal went to his cabin, sot out pen, ink, an paper on 
 his table, and sot down in full uniform to wait for old Longeye. 
 
 " Pretty soon the ole raskle appeered in charge of a orderly an 
 the fust lootenant an sot hisself down in a chare. Stan up, pris- 
 ner, in the presence ov the Cort, said the corporal, an hold up 
 your right hand. 
 
 "Captin Longeye was quite pail an looked chopfallen. His 
 eyes wos red, an he hed evidently been dosin hisself with hop bit 
 ters, ov which the corporal had sent him a full allowance. 
 
 "I don t know as I m a pris ner, says Longeye, an I don t 
 reckernize enny Cort of Admiralty this side ov Springfeeld, Illinoy. 
 
 " f Jes so, says the corporal, an I m a branch ov that Cort. 
 Now, Captain Longeye, you had best be quiet. 
 
 " Well, sir, says Longeye, I spose I must go when the devil 
 drives. 
 
 " Jes so, says Foster. Now, says he to his clerk, take down 
 the pris ner s ansers. 
 
 " I would like to know, Captin Longeye, what you are doin 
 up here consortin with rebbils an runnin off C. S. A. cottin wich 
 ov rites all belongs to the U. S. Gov ment ? 
 
 " You may ask the question, says Longeye, "but it don t foller 
 that I ll anser it. 
 
 " Write down, says Foster, derilick on the hi sees, givin ade 
 an comfort to the enemy an violatin the articles for the better 
 gov ment ov the navee. 
 
 " I objec to that, says Longeye. 
 
 " Jes so/ says Foster; rite down "disrespect to Cort fine 
 fifty-eight dollars." 
 
 " Lord help me ! says Longeye, I m in the hans of the Fillis- 
 tines an must cave in. 
 
 "Jest so, says Foster; I m glad you have come to realize 
 your precarious condition, for if you don t swing it won t be becors 
 you don t desarve to. 
 
 "Now, Captin, says Foster, plees inform me, so help you 
 Bob, how much you cleered wen you palmed the Unkel Sam off 
 on to the Admiral as a A No. 1 copper - fastened ship insured 
 Lloyds. You told us you offered her for twelve thousand an 
 couldn t get that. 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 351 
 
 " That was all gas, says Longeye. I was only bragginV 
 
 " Jes so/ says Foster ; rite down "lyin an cheetin the Gov - 
 ment out ov twenty-eight thousand dollars." 3 
 
 " No, sir, says Longeye, I only cleered eighteen thousand 
 dollars as I m a Christian. 
 
 " Write down " lyin " agin, says Foster ; he ain t no Christian ; 
 also "takin advantage ov the Guv ment in the hour ov need, wen 
 evry man an* cittyzen (except navy ossifers) should come forward 
 an offer all they have for their country s use." One more question, 
 Captin Longeye, an I m done. 
 
 " Wot was you loaded with wen you landid an communicated 
 with the Confed rit gov ment ? 
 
 " Well, says Longeye, you may ask.as many questions as you 
 like,- but it don t f oiler that I ll anser. 
 
 "Jess so, says Foster. Mr. Jedge Advocit, rite down "10 
 hogsheads ov hams, 60 barls ov flower, 40 pare milingtery boots, 10 
 sets waggin harness, 30 revolvers, 7 hogsheads of sugar, 200 yards 
 caliker, 200 pares yarn stockens, 2 baby cradles, 1,000 gallons rifle 
 wiskey, et cetrer." ; 
 
 "Heavins and arth! ses old Longeye; why that was all 
 stowed under the cole. I hope the informer will be struck dum. 
 
 " Jess so, says Foster. Now, pris ner, stand up an hear the 
 sentens ov this Cort : 
 
 " You will forfet the 160 bails ov cotton you stole from the 
 U. S. Guv ment. You will forfet all them stores with wich you 
 intended givin aid an comfort to the rebbels, an you will pay 
 down ten thousand dollars, the amount you swindled the Guv ment 
 out ov wen you sold us the Unkel Sam. You can pocket the eight 
 thousand extry, but you don t get outer mi hans till you pay up 
 the balance. 
 
 " Where in blazes am I goin to git ten thousand dollars from 
 wen I ain t got ten sents ? says old Longeye, in a rage. 
 
 "Jess so, says Foster, but we found gist eighteen thousand 
 dollars stowed away in that caliope ov yourn wich wouldn t play 
 no how. So our engineer he tuk it to peeces an found the munny. 
 We ll just take ten thousand out an you kin return the rest to the 
 feller what it belongs to ; no doubt you ll very soon have him en- 
 quirin for it. 
 
 "Longeye fell on the deck as if he was shot, an Foster says, 
 Gentlemen, the case is closed agin the pris ner, an the Cort 
 stands ajourned siney dye. 
 
352 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " All the officers an men who had assembled at the cabbin 
 doar to witness the proceedins applorded the just desision of 
 Corporal Foster, an wen we got on the forecastle we drew up 
 ressolushuns votin Corporal Foster a regular brie , an recom- 
 mendin , without a dissentin voice, that five thousand dollars 
 shoold be divided at once among the crew ov the Larfyett, under 
 the hed ov salvage, an the rest be pade to them wen they was dis 
 charged, under the hed ov prize money. 
 
 "In the meen time Captin Longeye lay like a ded man, altho 
 the corporal pored near a gallon ov hop bitters down his throte, 
 sayin , Let him injoy awl he can wile he lives. 
 
 "Arter awhile he begin to sigh, repeetin the immortal Web 
 ster s last words I ain t ded yit wen the corporal gave him a 
 big tumbler ov the bitters, an Longeye sot up on his elbo an 
 looked all round. 
 
 " Wen his eyes rested on the corporal, says he, You ll ketch it 
 for this, I tell you ; you ll shake in your butes wen you hear I 
 come up on a pars from Gin ral Banks. An here it is pullin a 
 paper outer his pocket an readin as follers : 
 
 " Kno awl pussons that Captin Jim Longeye is authorized to 
 proseed up river to sich points as he may seleck in the steemer 
 Lively Peggy, an open traid along the river, an all ossifers ov the 
 U. S. Gov ment are cawled on to give him ade an encouragement 
 an not to throw any hobstacles in his way wen hopening traid an 
 follerin his legitimate bizness. 
 
 " Given under mi hand an sele this 26 day ov June, 1863. 
 
 " BAKES, 
 " Major Gin ral, &c., &c. 
 
 " Jess so, says Foster, an wen you git back thar, if ever you 
 do git back, you jist say to Gin ral Banks or enny other gin ral that 
 I m the commandin gin ral in this ere diocese, an I reckernize no 
 passes that don t come from the Admiral who is kommander in 
 cheef on these hi sees. 
 
 " Now, Captin, I ll let you go with the Lively Peggy, coz I m 
 sartin to ketch you agin at derilick matters in less than a month. 
 You hed better keep along with you a bag ov ten thousand dollars, 
 as that ll be the amount I shall ginrally assess you. I shall divide 
 your stores among me an mi ossifers an men. An now spekin 
 to the fust lootenant let him go an compleat his kargo. 
 
 " Captin Longeye went off a wiser if not a better man, an after 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 353 
 
 transferrin all his cottin to our dispatch bote, the Gin ral Lion, 
 wich had just arrived, he steemed down the river fritenin all the 
 birds from their roosts with the horrible music from his darned ole 
 calliope. 
 
 " Ten days arterward we see a bote pullin up the other side OY 
 the river with two men in her, an wen she got hi* enuff up to al 
 low fur the currant, she struck across fur the Larfyette. 
 
 " Wen the bote come alongside, who should appere but Marcus 
 Aurelius Washington Buggs, the kullered gentleman who piloted 
 us to the plaice where we captured the rebs an cottin. 
 
 " Mister Buggs was accompanied by his father, who helped him 
 pull the bote, his wife, eight children, his mother, granfather an 
 granmother (who was parrylized), six dorgs, four piggs, an 
 chickens too numrous to menshun. 
 
 " Besides awl this, in the stern sheats ov the bote was a quantity 
 ov fine furniture, beddin , lookin glasses, et cetrer, et cetrer, an as 
 Marcus Aurelius rose up in the bote an wiped his forhed, he sings 
 out, Here I is, Massa Corp ral Foster ; I tole you you see this ole 
 darkey agin soon. 
 
 < Why, where did you come from, Marcus Aurelius, an where 
 are you bound ? says the corp ral. 
 
 " Well, Massa, says the ole nig, ( I m jist come from spilin 
 the Egyptians, an escaped from em troo de Bed See, an I comes 
 to recebe de pertecshun ov de Union flag. 
 
 " But, says Corporal Foster, how did you come by that nice 
 furniture ? 
 
 " Well, I ll tell you, Massa, an wen I done tell you you ll say, 
 "Well done, good an faithful serpent." 
 
 " You must know, Massa Foster, dat dat ar weddin took 
 place six days ago wid de two ossifers an de two widders, an since 
 dat time dars bin a cooin like turkle doves. 
 
 " Yesterday they kinder waked up an maid up a gran pick 
 nick, an all the village jined in. Yesterday mornin* dey all 
 startin intendin not to come back till ten o clock at nite. 
 
 " Dere wasn t a wite pusson lef in de village, so wen dey was 
 all out ob site I went to wuk spilin the Egyptians rite an lef, an 
 wen I had as much as my bote would hole I put out wid my famly 
 an here I is, tank de Lord, longside Massa Abe Linkum s gum- 
 botes. 
 
 " Why, says Foster, you ole raskle, I call that stealin or 
 robbin , praps both. You ll be hung if they catch you. 
 
 23 
 
354 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 " Well, Massa Foster, it s a hard ting to tell wot s the diffruns 
 tween steelin an robbin or takin in time oy war. You takes a 
 bale ov cottin wen yon sees it lyin on the levee, an* you rides orf 
 on a hoss widout askin who ones him, an you walks inter a house 
 an* takes wot prize you likes, an you takes steembotes an sugar 
 an cotton from peeple wot don t owe you nuffin. I only tuck my 
 wages, Massa. Me an mine hev wucked fur dem peeple goin on 
 morn a hundred yeers, an they ain t pade us a cent. So we just 
 help ourselves to part payments until we get a chance for de rest. 
 
 " I me tired ob libin souf, an me an my fambly feel de want 
 ov a more northern climate, specially arter spilin de Egyptians. I 
 kalkerlates our massa owes dis fambly bout eighteen thousand dol 
 lars fur de wuck we don fur dem, an we pade ourselves in part 
 dat s all dere is to it. 
 
 " You are a suttle kasuist, Mr. Buggs, says Corporal Foster, 
 an know how to draw nice distinctions. 
 
 " No, Massa, says Marcus Aurelius, I ain t as bad as dat, no 
 how, leest wise I don t know wat kind ov a animal dat is, as all I 
 know ov drawin is drawin water an totin wood. 
 
 " Well, Granny, says the corporal to the ole woman, how is 
 you get tin on ? 
 
 " Me, Massa ? says the ole woman ; my name ain t Granny ; 
 it s Rebecker ; my ole man he s name s Isack. We s ole colored 
 pussons ov de olden time ; we done live togedder sixty yeers like 
 Isack an Rebecker wat de Skripter tell about, an in all dat time 
 we nebber hab a diffrunce ob opinion. 
 
 " Ceptin , says Isack, dat time wen you cut my hed open 
 wid de meat ax, an dat odder time wen you done knock dese front 
 teef out wid a flat iron. 
 
 " Yes, honey, says de ole woman, we did disagree once a lit 
 tle about Mirandy Bobtale, but dat warn t noffin, nohow. 
 
 " An Rebecker, says Isack, you remembers de time you trow 
 hot bilin water on my foot an laid me up fur two week ? 
 
 " Yes, chile, but I only intended fur to scall your big toe wat 
 you was a warmin by de fire, an was a tryin to stick it inter de 
 hoe cake. Dat was accident. 
 
 " Dat s so, says Isack, an I muss say youse bin a blessin to 
 me dese long years. 
 
 " Massa, says Rebecker, I just wants some information. As 
 Marcus Aurelius says, dis climate don t agree wid us nohow, an 
 we tinks ov movin to Sarrytoga or Nooport, whar I m told de 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 355 
 
 climate is werry salubrious, an I m tole de quality is gwine away 
 ebry summer to Yewrip, an we kood git a cottage dar on resonable 
 terms. I got in dis yer bag a hull pile ov Cornfed rit greenbacks, 
 nuff to live on all my life. I se atey (84) foor now, an Isack is 
 ninety two, an I gess dis ll las us till our time come. 
 
 " I only know ov two houses to let in Newport just now/ says 
 Corporal Foster ; one is Mr. Belmont s an the other Mr. Loril- 
 lard s, but I guess you kin git ether on em at resonable raits. 
 Now go alongside the Gin ral Lion an deposit your spiles, an , 
 Marcus Aurelius, come back an tell us about the weddinV 
 
 " So the boat shoved off an shipped all the darkeys on board 
 the Lion. 
 
 "Then Marcus Aurelius Washington Buggs returned an re- 
 portid that he had deposited his passengers accordin to orders. 
 
 " Now, Mister Buggs, says Foster, tell us about the wed- 
 din . 
 
 " Well, Massa Captin, says Buggs, it was thuswise : 
 
 " Lots ov peepil was invited to see de ceremony at de house ob 
 Gin ral Blazes, de unkel ob de widder Jenkins, an de perform 
 ance ob de nupshall cerrymony was done by ole Bishop Crabtree, 
 who tie de parties togedder so fass nuffin can ebber loose em. 
 
 " Ebry ting was splendid de brides was dress in der wite 
 sattins an lace wails an gole slippers, an all de jewelry dey could 
 poke on em, an dus dey was scorted inter supper. Dar was a 
 table full ob grub fit fur a prince to set down to, an all dat was 
 wan tin to make it purfexin was a rale ole Virginny possum stuffed 
 with inyons. 
 
 " Dar was de big poun cake loomin up like a eight tousan 
 bail team bote, an ebry eye was upon it. Dar was two cross mark 
 on it whar de nife was to be stuck wen dey went fur de rings wot 
 you sed was dar. 
 
 " Each widder tuck a nife, an wen de wurd was give dey socked 
 em in up to de handle. Den come a eggsplosion like a pistil, wen 
 de widders drapped de nives an hollered like a hous on fire. 
 
 " Den evry one sing out " Torpedo ! " an sich a gittin outer 
 doors you neber did see. Dey all run like so many rats, an some 
 ob em run tree mile. 
 
 " Dis ole darkey crawl under de table an lay dere waitin . 
 Fus I heerd suthin goin like a larm clock, then somethin struct 
 up a chune, den some little bells rung, den de music go on onst 
 mo , an finin* dat dis ting go on adfernitum, an no more explo- 
 
356 INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR. 
 
 shun tuck plaice, dis ole nig poke out he hed an look at de cake, 
 an dar I see de most bootiful ting dis ole nigger neber saw befo. 
 I open my eyes wid amazement, an so cumfustered was I dat I 
 thunk I was in parradise. I saw dat dar was no harm dar, an 5 1 
 shouted to em all to come back an r see a mazin site. 
 
 " ( It warn t no use tellin em de trufe for half a hour, an den 
 I succeeded in gettin em all to come back too de weddin feest. 
 An wot you think I see, Massa ? 
 
 " Dar was de poun cake wid de top bio wed orf, an dere was a 
 bootiful figger ob liberty wid de Union flag in her han a leanin 
 ober a kullerd gemman in chanes, an a motter in her odder han 
 "Freedom to de slabe." An she was a knockin orf de shakles (as 
 was on de kollered gemman s legs) wid a hammer. An wat you 
 tink dem shackles was ? Wy two bootiful gole rings sot with dia- 
 mants marked with eech widder s name, an as they teched dem the 
 musikle box plaid "Hale, Kolumby" an den " Yankey Doodle," 
 an den dey all listened kind o tranced until it woodn t play no 
 mo , an den you mought a heerd a pin drap. 
 
 " Den de grooms went up an tuck de shackles offer de cullud 
 gemman s legs an put em on de ladies fingers, an dey embraced 
 each odder an shed teers. 
 
 " "Deer Captin Foster," says the widder Jenkins, "I d kiss 
 him six times ef he was here ! " " And I," says Mrs. Angler, " would 
 guv him twenty ! Wy dese yere rings mus a coss foor barls ov 
 greenbax. If de kurnel an de major had a known what dey was 
 about, they d a presented us with suthin ov this kine for gagement 
 rings, an den dar wouldn t been any fuss about Kurnel Fiddles." 
 
 " An then ebry one gib three chairs for Captin Foster, an dis 
 ole nigger an his posterity gib twenty an dat s all dere is ob it, 
 Massa Captin. 
 
 " ( De weddin was kep up till nex mornin an "Yankee Doo 
 dle" an "Hale Columby" was plaid all nite long, an dat s de fust 
 spark o Union feelin I eber see. 
 
 " I am much obleeged to you, Mr. Buggs, says the corporal, 
 fur your interestin narrytive, says he, an here s five U. S. one 
 dollar greenbax for you, bran new ones at that, an they re wuth 
 morun ten barls ov Confed rit notes. 
 
 " Mr. Buggs s eyes opened wide as sorcers ; he had never seen 
 any thin like it before. Wy, says he, de Confed rit greenback 
 bears no mo comparison to dis dan a skunk does to a elephunt. 
 
 " Now, says the corporal, get along on bord the Lion ; thar s 
 
CORPORAL FOSTER AND HIS DOG. 357 
 
 the last bell ringinV an Mr. Buggs, bein anxious not to lose his 
 passage, shuck hans with everybody an started, an we never saw 
 the Buggs fambly agin. 
 
 " Well, Jim Blazes, my tail drors to a klose. I hev only to say 
 that Captin Foster reported the general fax ov the case to the ad 
 miral an wrote a official letter about Ned the desarter, ov wich this 
 here is a troo coppy : 
 
 " U. S. S. LARFTBTT, MOUTH ov RED RIVER, 
 " * 6th, 1863. 
 
 " ADMIKAL : I beg leeve to inform you that the desarter dorg 
 Ned is now in my persession an in dubble iruns under gard ov a sen 
 try. I cannot, as you directed, try him an hang him without a 
 fully orthorized cort, an I hev not officers enuff to form a cort. 
 The cort should consist ov 13 to impress the squadron with the im- 
 portince ov the occashun an show em that dissipline mus be 
 manetaned an disloyalty punished, an I think this a case wher 
 the mos extream penerlty ov the lor should be sarved out. 
 
 " f I hav some witnesses hear, but if there needs any evidence to 
 show that the brown setter dorg Ned consorted with the wust kind 
 ov rebbils, I recomommen that a kullerd gentleman by name ov 
 Marcus Aurelius Washington Buggs, now on his way North in the 
 Gin ral Lion, may be suppeeneyed. If Mr.* Buggs should pass thro 
 Moun Citty without your nollege, he can be found at Newport, 
 Eode Hand, where he an his famly propose to taik up there resi- 
 dunce in ether the Biddle cottage or Bennet manshun. 
 " ( I hav the honnor to remane 
 
 " CORPORAL FOSTER, 
 " Major Gin ral commanding this diocees. 
 
 " The admiral larfed harty you bet wen he red Foster s letter 
 an heered the hull story. He sent another ossifer to releeve the 
 corporal, for, says he, I must hav him neer me, for I shall liv twice 
 as long if I kin hav the corporal to maik me larf. 
 
 " I have lots ov good things to tell you, Jim Blazes, which will 
 keep until you heer from me agin. 
 
 " I remane your ole shipmait in the grane bizness, 
 
 "JACK TILLER." 
 
 THE END. 
 
BY ADMIRAL PORTER. 
 
 Allan Dare and Robert le Diable. 
 
 A ROMANCE. By ADMIRAL POETEB. Illustrated by Alfred 
 Fredericks. Two volumes, 8vo. Paper, $2.00 ; cloth, $3.00. 
 
 " Admiral Porter is the latest distinguished accession to the list of authors. 
 He produces not a work on navigation but a novel. Men of all professions are 
 trying their hands at romancing nowadays. Admiral Porter need not be afraid of 
 comparing his work with that of some professional novelists. The admiral ex 
 cites the curiosity of the reader with a great deal of artfulness. The story has a 
 mystery to which the author is leading up with much skill ; he displays humor, 
 touches of pathos, and a knack of sketching characters." New York Journal of 
 Commerce. 
 
 " All wonderfully vivid, exciting, and picturesque, with enough plot and inci 
 dent already to furnish out some half-dozen ordinary novels. Admiral Porter has 
 surprising vigor and freshness of style in narration, of picturesqueness in descrip 
 tion of scenes and incidents, and of vividness in character-sketching. His story 
 is wildly improbable, but it rivets the attention, nevertheless, and holds it steadily 
 by its force, originality, and daring." Boston Gazette. 
 
 " Since the Earl of Beaconsfield s time, no famous man in public affairs has 
 written a novel that could excite public interest more than this one." Philadel 
 phia Bulletin. 
 
 The Adventures of Harry Marline; 
 
 OR NOTES FROM AN AMERICAN MIDSHIPMAN S LUCKY 
 BAG. By ADMIRAL POETEE. With Illustrations. 870, 378 pages. 
 Paper, $1.00 ; cloth, $1.50. 
 
 These life-like and stirring adventures were written by the admiral for the 
 amusement of his boys ; and, thinking it better for people to laugh than to cry, 
 the author has put them into book-form. The picture of the midshipmen in the 
 olden times will delight our middies of the present day. 
 
 " Harry Marline is written in the racy manner that ought to characterize 
 every account of doings at sea. In reading it one is brought face to face with the 
 stern and humorous reality of a midshipman s life. The descriptions are most 
 exhaustive ; the humor of the driest ; the cock-and-bull stories yarns we be 
 lieve they be called aboardship the cockiest-and-bulliest afloat ; the satires upon 
 the green Secretaries of the Navy (of those old days) the keenest and most satis 
 factory. There is hardly a page that does not excite the risibilities involuntarily, 
 and after one closes the volume delightful memories remain. The admiral de 
 serves the title of our later Cooper or perhaps, by reason of his deep stratum 
 of humor, that of the Marryat of America. There are several illustrations, well 
 designed and executed." Hartford Evening Post. 
 
 New York: D. APPLETON & CO., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street. 
 
ANECDOTES OF THE CIVIL WAR 
 IN THE UNITED STATES. 
 
 By Brevet Major-General E. D. TOWNSEND, 
 Late Adjutant-General U. 8. Army. 
 
 12mo Cloth, $1.35. 
 
 "The work treats in a very pleasant conversational way of various events and incidents, 
 around which our interest lingers, and of which much is here said that has hitherto been unsaid. 
 Among the topics upon which the author dwells, and which may be cited as giving an idea of the 
 scope and nature of his work, are General Scott s loyalty, the defense of Washington, the neutral 
 ity of Kentucky, Early s invasion, service in the Adjutant-General s office, President Lincoln s 
 funeral, Fort Sumter, origin of military commissions, Army of the Potomac commanders, etc." 
 Washington Daily Post. 
 
 " General E. D. Townsend, who was Assistant Adjutant-General on the staff of General Scott 
 at the outbreak of the rebellion, and who continued to discharge the same functions during the 
 civil war, had of course opportunities of acquiring much curious information. Some of the facts 
 thus brought to his knowledge he may never feel at liberty to divulge, but there is, on the other 
 hand, a good deal which the lapse of time Las made it proper to publish. Such of his recollections 
 as belong to the latter category are now set forth in a medium-sized volume called "Anecdotes 
 of the Civil War." General Townsend s stories are related in an entertaining way, and, even 
 where they bear somewhat severely on the character or motives of the persons named, seem free 
 from any propensity to exaggerate or taint of malice. The personal reminiscences of a man 
 holding confidential relations to men in high authority might be expected to throw light on sev 
 eral obscure transactions, and this will be found to be the case." New York Sun. 
 
 " General Townsend s book is all interesting^ New York Army and Navy Journal. 
 
 " An agreeable intermingling of personal anecdotes and historical statements. Full of useful 
 information." New Yorlc Kome Journal. 
 
 " The General bore an important and honorable part in the struggle, and has the rare gift of 
 telling briefly, humorously, and pathetically of what he saw and heard during all the eventful 
 years." New York Journal of Commerce. 
 
 " General Townsend has much to say of individuals, and a kindly spirit animates all his com 
 ments. Numerous incidents are related that are wholly new to the reader, though he be an 
 inveterate newspaper peruser or reporter, and they can not fail to interest the most casual reader. 
 The old soldiers of the great contest will enjoy these recitals." Boston Commonwealth. 
 
 " Another of those contributions to the inner history of the war which are not only interesting 
 to the curious reader, but form valuable material for the future historian. Much is told of Gen 
 eral Scott which is interesting ; we get some new anecdotes concerning President Lincoln, and 
 there is an account of Secretary Stanton which will be likely to modify the harsh criticism of him, 
 of late more prevalent than ever. The book abounds in quotable material, which we regret that 
 our space does not permit us to transfer to our columns." Boston Gazette. 
 
 " No man in the United States is better qualified to gossip pleasantly upon the great events 
 which twenty years ago were in everybody s mouth than Brevet Major-General E. D. Townsersd. 
 His anecdotes are not only remarkably entertaining, but they throw a light upon many vexed 
 questions which will prove of infinite value to the military historian." New York Commercial 
 Advertiser. 
 
 "The author writes in a charitable spirit of Scott, Stone, Lee, Buckner. Burke, McClellan, 
 Blair, Sheridan, Stanton, Lincoln, and many others. General Townsend fully disposes of the 
 malicious rumor that Stanton committed suicide. These anecdotes are well worth buying and 
 reading from beginning to end." New YorJc Christian Advocate. 
 
 New York : D. APPLETOff & CO., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street. 
 
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