y l v 1 1 
 
 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA. 
 
 OK 
 
 Mrs. SARAH P. WALSWORTH. 
 
 Received October, 1894. 
 Accessions No .6 * 3 / ST. Class No. 
 
7BRSIT7 
 

 
MEMOIR 
 
 MS. MARY E. VAI LEMEP, 
 
 ONLY DAUGHTER OF THE REV. JOEL HAWES, D. D. 
 
 WIFE OF THE REV. HENRY J. VAN LENNEP, 
 
 ittissionaru in iEurkcn. 
 
 BY HER MOTHER. 
 
 SIXTH EDITION. 
 
 HARTFORD: 
 WM. JAS. HAMERSLEY 
 
 1850. 
 
ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1847, 
 
 By BELKNAP & HAMERSLEY, 
 in the Clerk s Office of the District Court of Connecticut. 
 
 STEREOTYPED BY PRINTED BY 
 
 RICHARD H. IIOB1J8, CASE, TIFFANY AND CO. 
 
 HARTFORD, CONN. HARTFORD, CONN. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 " That life is long that answers life s great end." 
 
 To few, perhaps, whose period of action was so limited, could the 
 above sentiment be better applied, than to the subject of this memoir. 
 
 Her life, though short, was filled up with acts of beneficence and 
 love ; and although many of those acts, like fragrance borne upon 
 the breath of morning, and then scattered by the winds of heaven, 
 can never again be gathered ; yet something remains in the memory 
 of those who best knew her, and something more in her writings ; 
 and it is hoped that from these two sources a little volume may be 
 made, which will be both interesting and profitable to the young. 
 
 In regard to the following memoir, it is proper to remark, that it 
 was not attempted under the impression that the subject of it pos 
 sessed extraordinary powers or attainments. Such qualifications, 
 however desirable in themselves, or coveted by others, are not deemed 
 indispensable to a life of usefulness. 
 
 A friend remarked, " I know of no character more worthy of being 
 presented as a model for the young, than Mary s ; and for this reason, 
 among many others, that it exhibits no unattainable excellence. It 
 was not by any extraordinary gifts of nature that she won all hearts, 
 and adorned her Christian profession more than any other young 
 person I ever knew, it was the complete subjection into which she 
 had brought her every wish and purpose, to the one object of pro 
 moting the happiness of others, and their spiritual welfare, that made 
 
IV PREFACE. 
 
 her daily life such a steady light, and gave to her manners that inde 
 scribable sweetness, so that none saw her but to love her. I think, 
 however, there was in Mary s disposition, a very uncommon share of 
 affectionateness and simplicity, but of course I cannot judge as well 
 as those who knew her in childhood, whether those traits were as 
 striking then as in after years ; though it seems to me that no self- 
 cultivation, nor even the grace of God, could have supplied them, 
 had they not always existed in an unusual degree. But on this 
 account I should think her character would be a difficult one to 
 delineate with distinctness." 
 
 The traits to which this friend of Mary alludes, the writer of this 
 never expects to portray so that those who did not know her, could 
 see them as exhibited in her life. The beautiful symmetry of her 
 character, embodying as it did every social virtue, and every Chris 
 tian grace, must have been seen, to be fully known and appreciated. 
 There is one circumstance, which, more than any other, prompts 
 the wish to try to sketch something which shall do her justice. She 
 was early called away from the field of her labors ; and as she was 
 eminently qualified and disposed to do good, it does seem to be no 
 more than a suitable tribute to the promise she gave of future useful 
 ness, to attempt to extend her influence beyond the brief period of 
 her life. 
 
 Another reason for writing this memoir, is found in the melan 
 choly satisfaction of recalling the incidents of a life, which, while 
 its few, fleeting years were passing, was the source of so much hap 
 piness to the mourning survivors. 
 
 As this little work was not entered upon under the impression that 
 the subject of it possessed extraordinary powers, so neither was it 
 attempted under the impression that she was exempt from the faults 
 and imperfections incident to our fallen state. Should a perfect 
 character be held up to view as always having been such, it would 
 immediately be felt by all, not to be just, nor true to nature. Mary 
 had faults, but by the grace of God, she was able to correct them ; 
 and on this account her character seems a suitable one to present as 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 an encouragement to those, who, conscious of their own imperfec 
 tions, are attempting to reach some standard of excellence, which 
 appears almost, if not altogether, unattainable. 
 
 It is hoped that this little volume will come to the aid of some 
 such, as a star to guide their trembling steps, on their first entering 
 the straight and narrow way; and it is believed that if her character 
 could be truly presented, it would serve to allure others also into 
 that path, which, to her, was as the "rising light, shining more and 
 more unto the perfect day." 
 
 N OTE< Unfeignedly grateful for the kind manner in which the 
 Memoir has been received by an indulgent public, the author has 
 carefully revised the work for a second edition, and has inserted a 
 few items of additional matter, in the hope that it might make the 
 volume somewhat more complete. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 REMINISCENCES OP CHILDHOOD, 13 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 RELIGIOUS DEVELOPMENT, 19 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 SCHOOL DAYS, AND RESIDENCE IN NEW HAVEN, ... 32 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 EARLY CORRESPONDENCE, 44 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 HER RELIGIOUS WRITINGS, 76 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 SICKNESS AND RECOVERY 123 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A YEAR OF PREPARATION, 147 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 PREPARATIONS FOR LEAVING HOME, MARRIAGE AND DEPARTURE, 187 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 EXTRACT OF A JOURNAL KEPT WHILE CROSSING THE ATLANTIC, 197 
 
Xll CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 BARK STAMBOUL. MEDITERRANEAN, 213 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 RESIDENCE IN SMYRNA, 238 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 RESIDENCE AT CONSTANTINOPLE, 290 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 SICKNESS AND DEATH, 319 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 CLOSING REMARKS, 343 
 
 LINES BY A FRIEND, 346 
 
 LINES BY MRS. SIGOURNEY, 347 
 
 A FATHER S MEMORIAL OF AN ONLY DAUGHTER, . . .351 
 A VOICE FROM HEAVEN, . . . 375 
 
:: 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 REMINISCENCES OF CHILDHOOD 
 
 MARY ELIZABETH HAWES, second daughter of the Rev. 
 Dr. Hawes, of Hartford, Connecticut, was born the 16th 
 of April, 1821. The incidents of her childhood, if not 
 remarkable, were yet such as to subject her to a somewhat 
 severe moral discipline. By the time she was four years 
 and four months old, a sister and brother had been removed 
 from her by death, and, as she said, " she had been left 
 alone two times." 
 
 When Mary was five years old, she was sent to school. 
 The following summer, the parent whose office it was 
 more immediately to watch over and guide her unfolding 
 faculties, observed with pain, that she was contracting a 
 habit, which if not checked and overcome in childhood, 
 would be a blight upon her otherwise lovely character, and 
 greatly endanger, if not destroy, her happiness and useful 
 ness in after life. It is a humiliating fact, that the propen 
 sity to deceive is one of the most common faults of child 
 hood ; but because it is thus common, it is not the less to 
 be dreaded. Neither because it is a fault of childhood, 
 should it be passed by under the mistaken impression that 
 it will be felt and corrected in mature life. Mary s mother 
 was fully sensible of the evil, and being desirous that the 
 best means should be adopted for its correction, the father 
 
 2 
 
14 MRS. MARY E VA]>TLENNEP. 
 
 was applied to, for advice and assistance. Having reproved 
 his little daughter for the fault, he concluded by announ 
 cing, that the next time any thing of the kind occurred, he 
 should apply the punishment* recommended by the wise 
 man, little thinking that it would ever be necessary to put 
 the threat in execution, Ah, he little thought what as 
 cendency an evil habit might acquire in a short time even, 
 over the mind of a little child, or he would not have ex 
 pected that the fear of punishment would of itself be suf 
 ficient, not only to deter from the fault, but also to form 
 the opposite habit of truthfulness. It was not long before 
 there was a repetition of the offence; not an aggravated 
 one, but enough to show that even a beginning had not 
 been made in its correction. " Why did you tell me of it ?" 
 exclaimed the agitated and grieved father, as he remem 
 bered his threat. But the word had gone forth, and the 
 father s veracity must be maintained. Mary was sent to 
 her room, and the bible was put into her hand, .from which, 
 portions had been selected for her to read and apply to her 
 own case. As she was about being left to spend a long 
 summer afternoon alone in her chamber, while her com 
 panions were abroad, enjoying the cool breezes in the fields 
 and groves, she said in a tremulous voice, tt I think I know 
 what you and pa are going to do with me ; I think you 
 are going to keep me on bread and water till I am peni 
 tent." The dear child, if penitence had been the only ob 
 ject aimed at, might then have been set at liberty. But 
 something more must be gained such an impression must 
 be made upon her young mind, as should lead her to feel 
 that she must make some effort herself to correct the fault, 
 and she must not be left to suppose that saying " I am 
 sorry," and even feeling so too, would of itself be sufficient. 
 When her piece of bread and cup of milk were carried to 
 
 / See Proverbs, xix. 18. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 15 
 
 her in the evening, she was in deep thought, and had evi 
 dently spent the afternoon in faithfully consulting the bible, 
 with self reflection and prayer. In the morning, her father 
 took her into his room, and having tenderly admonished 
 her, he covered his face and inflicted upon her little hand 
 enough of pain, to save himself from the charge of falsify 
 ing his word. 
 
 Mary spoke of this scene with gratitude in after life, and 
 particularly of the delicate manner in which the thing was 
 done ; and said she had " always loved her father for it :" 
 and it is believed that the recollection of her father s face, 
 covered with his handkerchief while inflicting punishment 
 upon his cherished and only daughter, following as it did 
 a season of retirement and reflection, assisted her more than 
 any thing else in forming that character for truthfulness, 
 of which hers was ever afterwards so beautiful an illus 
 tration. 
 
 Amongst the plans adopted for her improvement, was 
 one which is now recollected with much satisfaction. This 
 was the daily reading of the bible to her. The practice 
 was commenced when she was very young, and was con 
 tinued with more or less interruption, long after she was 
 able to read it herself. At first, selections were made, 
 suited to her tender age, and it was also sometimes neces 
 sary to " translate " the language, to make it intelligible to 
 her. In this way, the Old Testament, commencing at 
 Genesis, and ending with the building of the second tem 
 ple, bad been read to her several times, before she was 
 seven years old. A half hour after tea, is now recalled 
 with pleasant associations, as having been spent in this 
 way. often for months uninterruptedly, when her own inter 
 est in the exercise made it not only a useful, but also a 
 very desirable season. 
 
 Of scripture biography she would never tire ; and as her 
 
16 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 mind unfolded, she could be easily interested in those beau 
 tiful specimens of Hebrew poetry, scattered along in the 
 first books of the Old Testament ; the song of Deborah,* 
 for instance. The vivid sketches of Hebrew life and man 
 ners which this song contains, the beautiful country where 
 the scene is laid, between Mt. Tabor and " Kishon, that 
 ancient river," the relief, too, which the country experi 
 enced, when delivered from the oppression under which it 
 had groaned for so many years much of this she could 
 enter into and comprehend. 
 
 Even at this early age, there were pleasing indications 
 of the facility with which she could afterwards throw 
 herself into the situation of others. For instance, when 
 at the close of the song just alluded to, the mother of Sisera 
 is described as calling through the lattice, " Why tarry the 
 wheels of his chariot?" and then comforting herself that 
 the delay was only the necessary result of victory that 
 having conquered his enemies he waited to divide the 
 spoil even then, she could comprehend something of the 
 disappointment and anguish of that mother, when the ter 
 rible reverse should be made known. 
 
 But her sympathies were not all expended upon the 
 stories and the poetry. The details of history were often 
 listened to with as much interest as the more glowing and 
 picturesque descriptions. A single instance shall suffice. 
 She was listening one evening to a passage in the history 
 of the Israelites, when, after having been recovered by 
 severe judgments from their idolatrous practices, they were 
 beginning again to relapse, unable longer to restrain her 
 grief, she exclaimed, " O, mamma, I know what you are 
 going to read about, the people are going to be wicked, and 
 then God will have to punish them again." 
 
 On the approach of her eighth birth-day, it was feared 
 
 * Judges, chap. r. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 17 
 
 that before another anniversary of the event occurred, Mary 
 would be deprived of the watchful care of her mother, who 
 was suffering from protracted illness. The probability 
 that in her tender age, she would be thrown upon her 
 own resources for improvement and happiness, made her 
 mother anxious to turn her attention more to the sober re 
 alities of life. The usual preparations to make it a day 
 of gladness, were therefore exchanged for others more 
 suitable to the circumstances of the occasion. Many little 
 articles for the exercise and improvement of her taste were 
 procured, such as paints, pencils, drawings, &c.; but one 
 thing was done, which doubtless gave a decided turn to 
 her religious feelings, which had heretofore appeared only 
 in an incipient state. 
 
 Her mother had long been anxious for some evidence 
 that she was safe in the fold of the good Shepherd, and 
 this anxiety increased, as the probability strengthened that 
 she would early be left without a maternal guide. To aid 
 her in her efforts to fix in the mind of her child a sense of 
 the importance of " seeking first the kingdom of heaven," 
 she requested a friend to call and converse with Mary, on 
 her birth-day, on this important subject. After a short 
 interview, in which he had endeavored to impress upon her 
 mind the happiness it would afford her through life, to 
 have God for her father, followed by a very affectionate 
 appeal to yield her young heart to him, he made this re 
 mark to her parents, " I shall expect to hear soon that 
 Mary is a Christian, for I never saw truth sink into the 
 mind as it did into hers, without being followed by such a 
 result." 
 
 Little is recollected of the following year, as her mother 
 was brought near to death, and Mary was left very much 
 under her own guidance, but her sweet docility, and tender 
 watchful care of her little brother, come as gleams of sun- 
 
 2* 
 
18 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 shine to relieve the mind as it recalls those long and weari 
 some months of deprivation and suffering. 
 
 During this period, her studies were very much inter 
 rupted, in consequence of her accompanying her brother to 
 an infant school, and also her care of him after he was 
 removed to another, collateral to the one which she at 
 tended. Still she made some progress. Some occasional 
 exercises at home, were of use in eliciting her mental pow 
 ers, which although slow in their development, were yet 
 not deficient in interesting qualities. A friend of the family 
 was preparing a course of elementary books for children, 
 and to test them, frequently read parts of them to Mary 
 and her brother. The same friend had another little exer 
 cise, which he carried on with her in a somewhat playful 
 manner. He directed her to shut her eyes and describe 
 external objects ; gradually leading her mind to an atten 
 tion to its own processes. In this way she very early 
 acquired a tolerably correct knowledge of the simplest ele 
 ments of mental philosophy ; and although her studies at 
 school were of little use to her, yet at home she was 
 making some progress in mental as well as in moral 
 culture. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 RELIGIOUS DEVELOPMENT. 
 
 THE spring of 1831, is remembered as an important era 
 in her life. It was seen at this time that her mind was 
 more than usually tender in reflecting on religious truths. 
 Whenever such truths were presented, she felt that she had 
 a personal interest in them. Many tender and deeply 
 interesting seasons are here recalled, which gave intima- 
 mation that she had begun to realize her state as a sinner, 
 needing pardon and peace with God. The impotency of 
 the pen in describing such scenes, almost forbids the 
 attempt ; but one shall be briefly noticed here, which may 
 serve as a feeble specimen of many others. Mary was sit 
 ting with her brother one Sabbath evening, when he asked 
 her to sing one of his infant school songs. Turning to 
 her mother, she said in a voice trembling and half sup 
 pressed by deep emotion " I wish Thomas would like to 
 have me sing, 
 
 " A fallen creature I was bora, 
 
 And from the birth I Ve stray d ; 
 I must be wretched and forlorn, 
 
 Without thy mercy s aid." 
 
 Here her feelings overcame her, and she covered her face 
 and wept, 
 
 It was near the close of her tenth year, when the scarlet 
 fever, which had been in the city for some time, entered 
 
20 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the family, and prostrated the brother before alluded to. 
 Mary was soon taken with the disease herself, and her 
 mother being occupied with her two little sons who were 
 ill at the same time, she was obliged to consign Mary to 
 the care of others. Those who attended upon her, were 
 surprised and gratified to see her so composed and peaceful, 
 while she was very ill, and fully aware of the dangerous 
 nature of the disease ; and they soon learned from herself, 
 that she had been endeavoring to prepare for the issue, 
 should the disease prove fatal to her. But she was spared, 
 and her brother was taken. 
 
 A little previous to the death of this brother, an inci 
 dent occurred which drew out her strong powers of sym 
 pathy, and very strikingly illustrated her forgetfulness of 
 self, when she saw others in affliction, and also her very 
 felicitous manner of imparting consolation. The disease 
 had assumed a very alarming form, and the little sufferer 
 was rent with convulsions, which it required no ordinary 
 share of fortitude only to witness. The poor father, una 
 ble longer to endure the sight, turned away from the bed, 
 and sought his room. Mary followed him. He threw 
 himself upon the sofa, exclaiming, " I can t bear it, I can t 
 bear it ;" and he seemed to be struggling with emotions too 
 painful to be borne. He had already been bereaved of 
 three children, and now a fourth was about to be taken, 
 and in a very distressing manner. He again exclaimed, 
 " The hand of God is upon me ; I don t know but I am to 
 be written childless." Mary drew her seat closer to his, 
 and laying her hand gently on his knee to gain his atten 
 tion, she looked up in his face and said, " Father, you told 
 us that God always had a good reason for every thing he 
 did. And has he not a good reason now ? and is it not 
 right for him to make my little brother suffer so ?" Find 
 ing her arguments unavailing, as she supposed, to soothe 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 21 
 
 him, because that now he wept more freely, she took 
 clown from the shelf a hymn-book, and opening it, said, 
 " dear father, let me comfort you, let me read a hymn to 
 you, shall I?" The father s heart was too full to speak, 
 and she opened to that very appropriate hymn of Doddridge, 
 
 " Peace, tis the Lord Jehovah s hand" 
 When she came to the verse, 
 
 " Fair garlands of immortal bliss 
 
 He weaves for every brow, 
 And shall rebellious passions rise 
 When he corrects us now 1" 
 
 her countenance shone as if a beam from heaven had shed 
 its light there, and her voice and manner were such as 
 seemed better befitting an angel than a frail child. A rela 
 tive of the family had followed Mary and her father to the 
 study, and had been a silent, but almost unnoticed observer 
 of the whole ; so absorbed was the father in his grief, and 
 Mary in her attempts to soothe him. She said the scene 
 was more touching, on account of the state of Mary at the 
 time, who having just risen from a sick bed. was still weak 
 and pale. She seemed also to be overwhelmed with the 
 consciousness of her little brother s sufferings, to whom she 
 was tenderly attached, and to feel that she must not now 
 lay her bursting heart upon her father s bosom, for he 
 needed comfort and support himself. In the trying emer 
 gency, she looked away from human sympathy, and sought 
 in God something which might meet the painful circum 
 stances of the case ; and she thus, meekly, though uninten 
 tionally, taught a lesson of submission to His perfect will. 
 Her father, in speaking of it afterwards, remarked, that 
 
22 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 he " had never before been so dealt with ;" that "she talked 
 like an experienced Christian." 
 
 Her brother s death took place soon after this, and she 
 passed through the trying scene with a considerateness 
 unusual for one of her tender age ; and the result showed 
 that it had been to her a season of rich spiritual improve 
 ment. 
 
 About this time, there were many meetings in the place, 
 where children were addressed on the subject of religion, 
 in a manner suited to their years. Mary was unable to 
 attend any of them, but God was evidently teaching her, 
 although in a different manner, at home. She was told 
 that several of her young companions, who attended these 
 meetings, were becoming interested in religion. This in 
 formation made her increasingly thoughtful and serious. 
 
 Her father was expecting soon to go abroad, and her 
 mother being occupied in making the necessary prepara 
 tions, a little brother was committed to the care of Mary, 
 and for a short time she was fully occupied in attending 
 upon him. Though she never neglected her little charge, 
 but always contrived to make him happy, still it was evi 
 dent that her thoughts were on other things. 
 
 A week or two had passed in this way, when one day 
 she was seen to be more than usually tender and thought 
 ful. An invalid friend was in the family, and this, together 
 with other things, so constantly occupied her mother s at 
 tention, that Mary was necessarily passed by, without even 
 a word, or any other attempt to ascertain the cause of her 
 deep solicitude. But God was not passing her by, as the 
 result showed. Soon after tea, having requested permission 
 to retire, she went to her room. It was late in the evening, 
 when her mother, hearing a soft voice which seemed to 
 proceed from her chamber, went up to see if she was need 
 ing any thing. On opening the door, she found Mary in 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the attitude of retiring, and singing forth her thoughts in a 
 low, sweet voice. Her countenance was beaming as with 
 heavenly light, and she exclaimed, with an expression 
 wholly indescribable, " O, mamma, I am so happy, I have 
 found God." Her mother stood in silence, her hand still 
 upon the latch, having been arrested by the grateful sur 
 prise ; when Mary, supposing that she waited for an expla 
 nation of her not having retired earlier, offered as a reason, 
 that she " had been praying a long time, and that it made 
 her so happy she could not leave off." She said, " While 
 I was speaking, God seemed near. It seemed as if he heard 
 me ; and I felt that I was speaking to a dear friend, and 
 that He was near as when I speak to dear father." u O, 
 mamma, I am so happy ! I can pray now !" " I have found 
 God !" she again exclaimed ; and her shining countenance 
 bore testimony, that although she might not have seen 
 God " face to face," yet that He had met her, and had 
 blessed her. 
 
 Some weeks after her father left home, she was visited 
 with dangerous illness. Of the many remarks she made 
 during this season, indicative of pleasant and profitable 
 reflection, a few have been preserved in writing. An affec 
 tionate and valued friend,* in writing to her father, says, 
 " Mary, as you have probably heard, has been ill. While 
 suffering from fever, I was permitted to watch with her, 
 and was delighted to find her mind in such a frame as was 
 most desirable. The first thing she said to me was, O, 
 Miss Chester, I have been thinking of the Saviour a great 
 deal to-day ; of his sufferings on the cross. While look 
 ing at some beautiful flowers, she spoke of her own garden, 
 and said she could not keep it free from weeds, without 
 assistance ; adding, it is just like our hearts, and contin- 
 
 Her Sabbath-School Teacher, Miss M. J. Chester. 
 
 or 
 
24 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 ued the comparison in a way to which I could not do 
 justice." 
 
 After her recovery, it was thought not best to confine 
 her to the school-room, but to keep her abroad in the open 
 air. She cultivated her garden, gathered mosses, and col 
 lected pebbles and shells, to build a mimic hermitage. For 
 this purpose she used to ramble through the fields and 
 groves, accompanied by her little brother ; and at such 
 times, her heart would flow forth in sweet .and joyous 
 communings with nature and its great Author. There 
 was for many months an indescribable expression of peace- 
 fulness and joyousness, beaming from her countenance ; it 
 seemed to proceed from a sweet sense of her acceptance 
 with God. 
 
 Some years after this, when she was about leaving the 
 home of her childhood, to go to her Eastern home, she 
 spoke to her mother of this happy season in her youthful 
 days. She said it was in her memory " like a long, bright, 
 happy dream ;" " it was unlike the rest of her life, it was 
 so free from care, and so full of happiness and peace." 
 And it may be added, that to one who witnessed it, it 
 seemed like a continual hymn of praise to God. 
 
 There was one circumstance, which, even more than the 
 happiness she enjoyed, showed that she was at this time 
 under divine teaching, and that her heart had indeed been 
 touched with the love of God. It was this. From the 
 moment she found relief in prayer, or, as she said, " could 
 pray," she set about attempting to persuade her young 
 companions to pray, and others also, whom she could 
 influence. It is not known, whether she was successful 
 at this time in her efforts, except in one instance. A poor 
 girl, who lived at service in the family of a relative, was 
 an object of much interest to Mary, and she attempted as 
 she had opportunity, to impress upon her mind a sense of 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAX LENNEP. 25 
 
 the importance of prayer. After laboring long, and wait 
 ing patiently, her feeble efforts were at length crowned 
 with success. 
 
 To avoid a wrong impression being made by the fact 
 just related, an impression that Mary was obtrusive, in her 
 efforts to promote the spiritual welfare of others, it should 
 be said, that in all her attempts of this nature, there was 
 so much of quietness and secrecy, that but for their results, 
 they would never have come to the knowledge of any, 
 except the individuals concerned. In the case just men 
 tioned, her efforts were wholly unknown to any, excepting 
 the poor girl and herself. But when there was reason to 
 hope that the object of her interest had indeed become a 
 child of God, she could no longer refrain from telling her 
 mother : and she did this, not to relate her own agency in 
 the case, but to find relief for the fullness of her joy. Her 
 heart was overflowing wi h gratitude for the happiness 
 which this poor girl now experienced in the duty of prayer, 
 and which Mary regarded as evidence of her having be 
 come a child of God. She hoped, also, to impart something 
 of her own joy to her mother. 
 
 It was somewhere about this time, perhaps earlier, that 
 her powers of voice began to be developed. Before this, 
 she had indeed been able to bear her part in the music of 
 the family, and in the infant school, but now she had the 
 instructions of a master. The scene is still fresh in the 
 memory of the writer, when Mary and a group of young 
 companions used to assemble to practice singing. An hour 
 in the cool of the long summer mornings, was devoted to 
 this exercise. While yet the air was fragrant with the 
 breath of flowers, and the birds were pouring forth their 
 glad notes, the teacher was training the young voices of 
 his pupils to a soft-toned violin. The little pieces which 
 were given them to practice, were full of pure sentiments. 
 
 3 
 
26 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 They were the natural expressions of joyous and grateful 
 hearts ; and there was also much in them that was fitted 
 to inspire and to cherish a taste for natural enjoyments. 
 
 Mary had a high relish for all the appropriate amuse 
 ments of childhood. Among these, the rural party, and 
 the song, were her favorites. Always happiest when con 
 tributing to make others happy delighting rather to place 
 the May crown on the head of a friend, than to wear it 
 herself. At the little concerts in which she bore a part, 
 her gratification rose to its height, when some young friend 
 sung with more than ordinary sweetness. At such times 
 she would listen with breathless attention, and then, when 
 all was over, she would offer her congratulations with such 
 affectionateness, as left no doubt of her sincerity. 
 
 From the time Mary was ten years old, she had a strong 
 desire to make a profession of religion ; but her father being 
 absent, she waited patiently the first half year ; and after 
 his return, another half year passed, and still this wish 
 remained ungratified. Ever docile and confiding towards 
 her parents, and yielding to their slightest wishes in other 
 matters, yet in the matter of a profession of religion, she 
 felt that she had a right to know why she was deprived of 
 the privilege. 
 
 One Sabbath, when her mother returned from a com 
 munion season, she found Mary sitting in her room, appa 
 rently in deep thought. As she entered, Mary addressed 
 her thus : " Mamma, when our Saviour said, < do this in re 
 membrance of me, did he not mean to include children ?" 
 She was told as she had before been, that her father thought 
 her too young to take so important a step. With great 
 seriousness of manner, she asked, "how old must I be, 
 before I obey Christ 1 ?" She was told that her father 
 thought twelve, a suitable age to make a profession of re 
 ligion ; when, bursting into tears, she exclaimed, u I shall 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LEN3SEP. 27 
 
 have to wait another year, and I have waited a whole year 
 now." 
 
 During the following summer, the cholera, which had 
 ravaged many parts of the country, entered New England, 
 and there were such indications of its approach to our prin 
 cipal cities, as to arouse the vigilance of health commit 
 tees and others, to prepare to meet it. One day Mary ad 
 dressed her mother on the subject in this way : " Mamma, 
 if you should be sick, I should not be frightened ; I should 
 know just what to do." She was asked if she should be 
 frightened if she herself were to be sick, and also, if she 
 had done every thing she would wish if the disease should 
 prove fatal to her. The momentary uneasiness occasioned 
 by her answering in the negative, was removed by her 
 saying, " I should like to make a profession of religion 
 first." Thinking she might be making a merit of this, she 
 was asked if she thought it would make her any better. 
 " O no," was her prompt reply ; " but I do want to leave 
 my name for Christ." When she was twelve years old, 
 this wish of her heart was gratified, and with several 
 youthful companions, she took her place at the table of 
 the Lord ; and seldom, it is believed, is that ordinance ap 
 proached in a more acceptable manner. 
 
 Mary, at this time, was highly favored in her instruc 
 tions at Sabbath school. Her father has made this remark 
 of her Sabbath school teacher. " Out of her own family, 
 no human being exerted a greater, or more happy influ 
 ence in the formation of her Christian character, than 
 Mary Jane Chester, afterwards Mrs. Hovey." Ever alive 
 to the best interests of her pupils, she could not pass by the 
 occasion when one or more of them professed their faith 
 in Christ, by uniting themselves with his visible church, 
 without some more than ordinary expression of the deep 
 interest she felt in their spiritual welfare. The hymn 
 
28 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 which she selected for her young pupil to learn on this oc 
 casion, doubtless had a very favorable bearing on her Chris 
 tian character ever after. It was often quoted by Mary, 
 and is in memory so identified with her Christian course, 
 and withal so beautiful, that it is presumed its insertion 
 here will not be unacceptable. 
 
 " Jesus, I my cross have taken, 
 
 All to leave and follow Thee, 
 Naked, poor, despis d, forsaken, 
 
 Thou, from hence, my all shall be : 
 Perish ev ry fond ambition, 
 
 All I ve sought, or hop d, or known ; 
 Yet how rich is my condition, 
 
 God and heaven are still my own. 
 
 Let the world despise and leave me: 
 
 They have left my Saviour too ; 
 Human hearts and looks deceive me, 
 
 Thou art not, like them, untrue ; 
 And whilst thou shall smile upon me, 
 
 God of wisdom, love and might, 
 Foes may hate, and friends may scorn me, 
 
 Show thy face, and all is bright. 
 
 Go, then, earthly fame and treasure, 
 
 Come disasler, scorn and pain, 
 In thy service pain is pleasure, 
 
 With thy favor loss is gain. 
 I have called thee Abba, Father, 
 
 I have set my heart on thee ; 
 Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, 
 
 All must work for good to me. 
 
 Man may trouble and distress me, 
 
 Twill but drive me to thy breast: 
 Life with trials hard may press me, 
 
 Heaven will bring me sweeter rest. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 29 
 
 Oh ! tis not in grief to harm me, 
 
 While thy love is left to me ; 
 Oh! twere not in joy to charm me, 
 
 Were that joy unmix d with thee. 
 
 Soul, then know thy full salvation, 
 
 Rise o er sin, and fear, and care : 
 Joy to find in ev ry station 
 
 Something still to do or bear. 
 Think what spirit dwells within thee, 
 
 Think what Father s smiles are thine : 
 Think that Jesus died to save thee : 
 
 Child of heaven, canst thou repine ? 
 
 Haste thee on from grace to glory, 
 
 Arm d by faith and wing d by prayer ; 
 Heaven s eternal day s before thee, 
 
 God s own hand shall guide thee there. 
 Soon shall close thy earthly mission, 
 
 Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days ; 
 Hope shall change to glad fruition, 
 
 Faith to sight, and prayer to praise." 
 
 Although its full, rich meaning, could not all be taken 
 into the mind of one so young, and also inexperienced in 
 the painful vicissitudes of life, yet to this full salvation her 
 eye was steadily directed, and to the attainment of this, all 
 else was made subservient. From this period, her relations 
 to the other world- never were lost sight of. 
 
 She early manifested an interest in missions. An inci 
 dent which occurred when she was a little child, will show 
 the ease and readiness with which she could be interested 
 in the missionary cause. Her mother said to her one day, 
 " here is a field for you, Mary," at the same time pointing 
 out to her something which she could do to aid in the good 
 work. With great seriousness of .manner she replied, 
 " If I am ever fit to be a missionary, I mean to go to the 
 Flat-head Indians ;" and it was ascertained that she had 
 
 3* 
 
30 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 been interested in an account of this benighted people, 
 which she had seen sometime previous in one of the pub 
 lic prints ; and that their efforts to obtain the knowledge 
 of "the true way to worship the Great Spirit," had so 
 Jtovrought upon her sympathies, as to lead her to form the 
 purpose of one day going to instruct them herself. 
 
 Afier she had made a profession of religion, she took a 
 more decided stand, in aiding, not only the missionary 
 cause, but also the many objects of benevolence which 
 came within her sphere. When Dr. Parker left this coun 
 try for China, which was sometime during this year, she 
 so arranged it, that a young friend, the daughter of a mis 
 sionary, should be present when he took leave of the fam 
 ily Tor the last time. With her friend, she accompanied 
 him to the gate, and when he requested to be remembered, 
 her heart responded, and she instantly formed her plan 
 how to do it. While returning to the house she said, u we 
 will sew for him, Sophia;" at the same time offering her 
 hand to her friend as a pledge. 
 
 She immediately formed a society of very little girls, 
 making it a condition they should earn the penny they 
 brought, by doing some hing for their mothers at home, as 
 most of them were too young to sew. Her benevolent 
 and inventive mind suggested many expedients to interest 
 the little group, during the hour appropriated to the meet 
 ing. Sometimes she spread on the table around which 
 they were arranged, something to please the eye, such as 
 pictures, and specimens of natural curiosities; sometimes 
 she told them stories to interest them in missions, and 
 other benevolent objects again with a delicate touch, she 
 would endeavor to ascertain whether there were any indi 
 cations of tenderness on religious subjects. One little girl, 
 the most healthful and robust among the number, after 
 meeting a few times, was suddenly removed by death. It 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 31 
 
 was noticed, that the last time she was present, when she 
 presented her penny, it was with a moistened eye ; and it 
 was hoped that these little meetings were among the means 
 of preparing her for her early removal. 
 
 Before entering on any plan of benevolent effort, Mary 
 counted the cost, and took advice of her seniors. In the 
 formation of the society just named, she saw each mother 
 separately, before inviting the children to join it, and while 
 their approval gave her strength, a feeling of responsibility 
 to them, gave consistency and earnestness to her efforts. 
 
 The avails of the first and second year were sent, and 
 a letter was received in reply. The distant missionary 
 wrote, that the communication from this little band was 
 like cold water to one - perishing with thirst; that while 
 those on whom he had depended to cheer him, by writing 
 to him in his exile, had disappointed him, yet God had put 
 it into the hearts of these little ones, to comfort and encour 
 age him in his work. Many an eye was moist as the letter 
 was read and commented on, and doubtless many a resolu 
 tion to persevere was then renewed. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 SCHOOL DAYS, AND RESIDENCE IN NEW HAVEN 
 
 MARY entered the Hartford Female Seminary sometime 
 during her twelfth year, and remained a pupil in that insti 
 tution until August, 1838, at which time she graduated. 
 Little, out of the ordinary course of studies in term lime, 
 and visiting by way of relaxation in vacations, is recol 
 lected to have occurred, excepting that she had an addi 
 tional source of enjoyment in the acquisition of a new 
 
 friend. Marion D , a native of the south, was received 
 
 into the family in June, 1836, and was Mary s room mate 
 and companion in study, until the time of her leaving school. 
 As both were only daughters, these young friends became 
 tenderly attached to each other, and each felt that she had 
 found a sister. In all that contributed to make up the 
 daily routine of life s duties, enjoyments and petty trials, 
 they were one. Marion became settled in her Christian 
 views and feelings, and made a profession of religion while 
 in the family with Mary ; thus adding a new tie to the 
 many which already bound them together. The parting 
 of these young friends was painful to both. Particularly 
 was it so to Mary, as in her case there were none of those 
 alleviating circumstances, which so filled the mind of her 
 friend, as to make her almost forget the coming separation. 
 Marion was cheered with the prospect of meeting kind 
 parents, and a large circle of affectionate brothers, in the 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 33 
 
 sunny south," while Mary was to be left almost alone, 
 with no young heart to send back its sisterly response to 
 her own. 
 
 A little incident which attended the parting of these 
 friends, may not be uninteresting here. It was a delight 
 ful morning in the month of August, while it was yet dark, 
 excepting that the stars shone with an unusual brilliancy, 
 when the stage-coach, which was to convey Marion away, 
 drove up to the door. The two friends walked hand in 
 hand to the gate, when Mary s eye caught the constella 
 tion of Orion in the eastern sky. Directing the eye of her 
 friend to it, they both stood for a few moments silently 
 looking up at this splendid constellation, then parted, never 
 more to meet, till the arch of this lower heaven, in all its 
 brightness, shall have passed away. As she returned to 
 the house, she seemed bewildered that Orion should have 
 appeared at that time, saying, "I thought it was only in 
 winter that we saw it in this place." Her mother reminded 
 her that she had never been out under the open sky in the 
 month of August, at four o clock in the morning. This 
 recalled at once her bewildered thoughts, and she stood for 
 a few mornen s in the portico, over which a grape vine, 
 heavily laden with fruit, was twining its branches. The 
 cool morning air, which gently stirred the leaves, and shed 
 for.h the fragrance of the ripening clusters, seemed to 
 soothe her throbbing temples and aching heart. Some 
 time after her death, amongst her papers, were found the 
 following lines, which the foregoing incident seems to have 
 suggested. 
 
34 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 ON SEEING ORION, IN AUGUST, 
 
 A FEW HOURS BEFORE SUNRISE." 
 
 " I little deem d that thou wert near, 
 King of the starry throng ! 
 I thought when fields were brown and sere, 
 Twas then thou d pass along: 
 And yet I see thy bands of light 
 Beaming from yon blue vault, 
 Brighter than gems of eastern mines, 
 With glittering diamonds fraught. 
 
 How oft when winter s icy hand 
 
 Hath bound each vale and hill, 
 
 I Ve seen thee make thy nightly course 
 
 In grandeur, proud and slill ; 
 
 And one I lov d was with me then, 
 
 And oft with her I look d 
 
 Up to the cold blue sky where thou 
 
 Thy mighty circuit took. 
 
 We watch d thee with thy starry train, 
 
 And thought that thou must look 
 
 In silent mockery on our earth, 
 
 As t were a thing of nought. 
 
 And now, while on the clus tring vines 
 
 The fruit hangs heavily, 
 
 Thy girdle in the east doth shine 
 
 Before the rising day. 
 
 And hast thou come, proud Orion ! 
 
 At this our parting hour, 
 
 To call back days of happiness 
 
 Which we may see no more 1 
 
 With mingled awe and grief we stand 
 
 Beneath thy pale cold beams, 
 
 While scenes of pleasure long gone by, 
 
 Pass us in saddened trains. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 35 
 
 Thou shin st upon our parting hour, 
 
 And still as years roll by, 
 
 Thou wilt pursue thy onward course, 
 
 Bright monarch ! in the sky 
 
 And e en like Him, who plac d thee high 
 
 Within thine azure home, 
 
 Thou all unchanged wilt onward pass 
 
 Round the eternal throne." 
 
 Mary was in the habit of expressing her feelings in 
 poetry, when her sensibilities were roused, especially when 
 about to be separated from a friend but she did nothing 
 which might lead to the knowledge of her writing poetry, 
 except to put her pieces into the hands of the individuals 
 for whom they were designed. 
 
 As she needed some relaxation after her long confine 
 ment in school, and also to be diverted from her sense of 
 loneliness when her young friend left her, it was thought 
 best that she should spend the winter following these 
 events, in New Haven. But another reason for sending 
 her there was, the many sources of improvement which 
 would be open to her in that place. 
 
 This was a very important period to her, and perhaps 
 the most critical one in her whole life. It was once re 
 marked by a father, that "it is a very difficult thing to 
 emancipate a child gracefully, from parental authority." 
 Something analogous to this, might be said to have been 
 the state of Mary at this time. She was just beginning to 
 think and act for herself she was about to find her place 
 in society ; and the position she now took, would in all 
 probability be the one which she would maintain through 
 life. 
 
 It was in the month of October, 1838, that she was 
 taken to New Haven by her father, and placed for the 
 winter in the family of Dr. Fitch. At the close of her first 
 
36 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 day in this family, she writes, " Dear father gave me much 
 excellent advice during our ride, which I intend to remem 
 ber. Do please, mother, write me soon and often, and tell 
 me how I must conduct. I hope soon to become accus 
 tomed to the regulations of the family, and think I shall 
 find much time to read and to improve and now if my 
 heart will keep right, I see not but that I may have a very 
 pleasant and quiet winter." 
 
 At the close of the first week, she writes again, " Nov 
 1st. I prize every moment which is spent in Mrs. Fitch s 
 society. She appears to have read and thought much, 
 and by conversing with her only a short time, I learn what 
 would be of great value to me, if I could only remember 
 it. She seems an observer of human nature, so much so, 
 that she has found out my weak points already." 
 
 Again to her father she writes, "I am very happy in 
 the society of my dear Mrs. Fitch. Her views of life are 
 so rational, and her Christian principles are such as I wish 
 every one could possess. Her views coincide with yours, 
 and my dear mother s, and with so many kind guardians 
 to point out to me the path of duty, I should be very much 
 in fault, should I mistake it." 
 
 In this family she found much to gratify her taste, par 
 ticularly her love of flowers and music. A few slight no 
 tices of hers, may help to fill out a picture of her life at this 
 time. " I have removed my writing apparatus to the 
 green-house, but it is rather too tempting a place, for I have 
 half a mind to jump up and look at the flowers, there are 
 so many beautiful ones here." In the morning she writes, 
 fc The sun, as it shines in through the plants in the green 
 house, does look beautifully ;" and again at evening, " I 
 have just risen to see how softly and brightly the moon 
 shines in upon the flowers, making it look like some fairy 
 land." 
 
MRS. MARY E VAN LENNEP. 37 
 
 She had naturally a rich and sweet voice, but for the 
 modulation of this, as well as for her exquisite touch of the 
 piano, she was greatly indebted to the fine musical taste of 
 Dr. Fitch. 
 
 In regard to the manner of spending her time, she writes, 
 " My time glides away smoothly and quietly here, and I 
 hope it is spent usefully. The young ladies have invited 
 me to join their sewing society, and as Mrs. F. approves of 
 it, I have consented to do so. After prayers and break 
 fast, I read every morning a chapter to Mrs. Fitch in the 
 French Testament, which I find very improving, for she 
 is an excellent scholar in that language. We sew during 
 the morning, when generally some one reads. At half 
 past eleven, we go to the laboratory, where the chemical 
 lectures are delivered ; and this takes up all the remainder 
 of the time until the dinner hour, which is at one o clock. 
 We make our calls during the afternoon, and write or sew, 
 and have music during the evening." 
 
 Of her reading she says, " Mrs. Fitch is reading 
 Shakspeare with me. and some of Milton s short poems. 
 We have just finished Marshall s Life of Washington, and 
 found it very interesting, though he told us not much about 
 the life of his hero, excepting as it was connected with the 
 revolution. We have thought it best to read Sparks , 
 also, because it contains many of his private letters, and 
 also a large number of interesting facts, of which Marshall 
 makes no mention." 
 
 To the books already named, were added many others 
 equally valuable and her reading during the winter was 
 rendered both interesting and profitable, as it was enriched 
 by the criticisms of Mrs. Fitch, which were highly dis 
 criminating and useful. 
 
 Besides the Chemical, she attended the Philosophical 
 Lectures, and a valuable course on Ancient History ; and 
 
 4 
 
38 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 also some shorter courses, on other subjects. Of these 
 lectures, she was in the habit of taking notes, and often 
 spoke of them pleasantly in her letters home. 
 
 Of the Chemical Lectures, she writes, " They are very 
 interesting. The experiments are beautiful. To-day, 
 Prof. Silliman made a thermometer, and we were all much 
 interested with the process. I sat breathless while he 
 heated the thin glass ball to expand the quicksilver and 
 exhaust the air. There was danger that the ball would 
 break with the heat, but Mr. S. was peculiarly fortunate, 
 and nothing occurred to hinder the result." 
 
 Mary ever cherished the most grateful recollections of 
 this winter. It was to her among the bright visions of the 
 past such as she never expected to meet with again. 
 But whenever she spoke of the advantages of this winter, 
 she always named first, the benefit which she derived from 
 intercourse with Mrs. Fitch. Of this lady, she wrote, 
 " I cannot feel sufficiently grateful, that I am permitted to 
 enjoy the society and friendship of one so highly gifted in 
 intellect, and of such warm, devoted piety." 
 
 To a friend, the summer after her return home, she 
 writes thus : " I passed, as you very well know, a delight 
 ful winter ; and I now look back upon it as the most im 
 portant six months in my whole life. I believe it has 
 given the coloring to my whole existence. I cannot find 
 words to express my gratitude to my dear Mrs. Fitch. If 
 I am ever of any use in the world, or if my mind is in any 
 degree directed to worthy objects, it will, next, to the exer 
 tions of my own dear parents, be owing to that excellent 
 lady. She is just the friend I need, and never in this 
 world will she know how much good she has done." 
 
 Mary remembered this winter as an important one to 
 her on another account. So many new trains of thought 
 passed through her mind, presenting such new views, and 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 39 
 
 awakening such new emotions, that it seemed to her as 
 if a change had passed over her whole being. A few 
 weeks before her return home, she writes thus to her 
 father. 
 
 "April 5th, 1839. I feel, that during this winter, my 
 views and feelings on many, nay, on almost every subject, 
 have changed. When I think of what I was last summer, 
 of the manner in which I then thought and acted, I am 
 almost disposed to doubt my own personal identity, so dif 
 ferent am I now. Yet I can hardly tell you the exact 
 things in which my views differ from what they once were, 
 and if you were to see me now, I do not know that I should 
 appear changed. I believe I have thought more this 
 winter than I ever did before in my whole life. I have 
 read more than ever before.* I have already begun to 
 think what I shall do this summer, and I hope some plans 
 I have with regard to reading, may be put into execution." 
 
 " You told me in one of your letters, have more of 
 Cato, and I have thought of it very often, since. De 
 cision of character is what I need very much, and I have 
 found out lately, that the want of it has been the cause of 
 much of my weakness. It has been very easy to mark out 
 any course of study I have wished to pursue, and to begin 
 it in a very fair manner ; but my want of firmness has made 
 it very difficult for me to continue, and so, many plans of 
 usefulness have been given up, for no other reason, than for 
 the want of decision to carry them on. I have suffered so 
 much for the want of it. that I fancy I could make out a 
 
 * Mary might have added, that she had written more than ever before. Her 
 letters to her correspondents, during the six months she spent in New Haven, 
 covered several quires of paper, compactly written. These contained some use 
 ful matter ; particularly, her own views on various subjects ; and there is a vein 
 of sprightlintss running through them, which makes them interesting to those to 
 whom they were addressed ; but they are chiefly valuable, as they are a faithful 
 transcript of her affectionate, confiding heart. 
 
4U MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 very good catalogue of the evils to which its absence gives 
 rise. But I do not wish to weary you, dear father, with 
 an account of my weaknesses, though it is some comfort 
 to me to understand myself; and I hope I am not yet too 
 old to amend. Do you know, papa, I shall be eighteen 
 very soon ? Just think of your daughter being so old ! 
 Oh, I cannot think of it. I should like to be seventeen for 
 a long, long time to come." 
 
 Time always passed rapidly with Mary. A moment is 
 never recollected to have hung heavily upon her hands. 
 She placed her standard of character high in every respect, 
 and this led her sometimes to undertake more than could 
 be accomplished. During this winter she wrote thus to 
 her mother " I do feel that it is best to have a high stand 
 ard, for then we shall rise higher, although we may not 
 entirely succeed in reaching it." An incident on the 
 morning when she was twelve years old, here occurs to 
 the mind of the writer. On entering the room where her 
 birth-day presents were spread out upon a table, after 
 casting a look at these mementos of affection, she turned 
 to her mother, and with much emotion exclaimed, " Oh 
 mamma, I have now entered my teens, and I have not 
 accomplished half what I intended to have done." 
 
 In the somewhat extensive and varied circle in which it 
 was her lot in life lo move, there were not wanting occa 
 sions which might enable her to test the real value of 
 earthly pleasures. The syren cup, in its rounds, was not 
 unfrequently passed into her hand, and if she sometimes 
 sipped of its sweets, it was not so much to see how near 
 she could approach the boundaries of evil, and remain un 
 harmed, as from the difficulty of ascertaining the right 
 course. It was ever a study with her, how she might 
 recommend the religion which was precious to herself, 
 to those amongst whom she moved, who were destitute of 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 4 1 
 
 it. For this, she was ever ready to sacrifice every thing 
 but principle. An incident in her seventeenth year, may 
 perhaps serve as an illustration of this part of her charac 
 ter. Into the musical circles of which she was. for several 
 winters, a very happy member, dancing had been introdu 
 ced, and she had taken a part in it, as a thing of course. 
 At length, something occurred which turned her attention 
 to the propriety of professors of religion participating in 
 such an amusement. Her example was appealed to by a 
 young professor, who attended public balls, in justification 
 of the thing. When asked by a friend whether he thought 
 the practice consistent with his Christian profession, he 
 replied that " Mary Hawes danced." True, there was a 
 difference between the two cases, but this was merely cir 
 cumstantial. The difference related to the time, the place, 
 the company, and not to the thing itself, in both cases it 
 was dancing. On hearing this, Mary promptly discontin 
 ued the practice, and gave the whole subject a serious and 
 very careful investigation, which resulted in the conviction 
 that, however right it might be for others, it was wrong 
 for her, and she ever after conscientiously refrained from 
 participating in it. 
 
 In a letter to one of her Hartford friends, during her 
 winter in New Haven, she said, referring to the li Music 
 als," * : They were very pleasant. I look back to those 
 Friday evenings last winter, with much pleasure, yet with 
 some pain, for I did suffer in refusing to join in the dancing. 
 Perhaps it seemed strange, and too rigid to you. that M. 
 and myself refused the entreaties of the girls but though 
 it did pain us to do so, as it appeared unkind, yet we could 
 not in conscience join with them. There was no harm 
 in the thing itself, and I suppose that I could, without 
 injury to myself, have engaged in the amusement, and en 
 joyed it highly. Yet there were other things to be con 
 
42 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 sidered, which fully convinced me that it would be wrong 
 for me to do it, however right it might be for others." 
 
 At first, Mary continued to meet with these circles, and 
 unite with them in the music, but refrained from the dan 
 cing ; but finding this rather annoying to her young friends, 
 with their consent she retired when the dancing commen 
 ced, having first contributed her share to the musical enter 
 tainment of the evening. At length circumstances convin 
 ced her that it was best to refrain from both. These 
 musical circles afforded almost the only recreation in which 
 she could unite with others, at the time of her retiring from 
 them. They were also composed of friends whom she 
 tenderly loved, and in the promotion of whose happiness, 
 she found her own increased. Her love of music was also 
 such as few possess, and the exquisite delicacy of her taste, 
 rendered her performance a rich addition to the entertain 
 ment of the evening, and made her friends exceedingly 
 reluctant to have her retire. In addition to this, an entry 
 in her private journal shows, that it was at a time when 
 she " pined to mingle more in society." It is not surpri 
 sing, therefore, that it should have cost her somewhat of a 
 severe struggle to give them up. Besides, in refraining 
 from a participation in what appeared wrong to her, she 
 would place herself in the attitude of a reprover ; and how 
 could she do this ? Her gentle nature shrank from the 
 trial, but she sought and obtained strength from a higher 
 source than man, and a consciousness of doing right sus 
 tained her. 
 
 As years passed by, and she gained more light upon the 
 subject, having time to test the effect produced on the 
 character of those who were in the habit of indulging in 
 the amusement, and also being able to obtain from others 
 whom she highly respected, the testimony which they 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 43 
 
 could give her from their own experience, she reviewed this 
 early decision with comfort and satisfaction. 
 
 And if she were now asked whether she regretted this 
 decision, what response would come back from the hills of 
 light, where she is uniting in the anthems of heaven? 
 Would it be regret at this slight sacrifice ? Would it not 
 rather be regret, that while she hod the opportunity, she 
 made so few and so feeble sacrifices for " Him who loved 
 her, and gave himself for her." 
 
 The course pursued by Mary in relation to the subject 
 above referred to, had an eminently happy effect on her 
 Christian character and influence ; and now that she is 
 gone, it is remembered by her parents with the most grate 
 ful satisfaction, that she was enabled, by divine grace, 
 to take a stand so honorable to religion, and so adapted to 
 prepare her for her early removal. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM HER CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 WHEN it was in contemplation to prepare a brief Memoir 
 of Mary, a friend* who knew her well, and who highly 
 appreciated her, made the following suggestions in regard 
 to the best way of doing this. " I think that her writings 
 will give a more vivid impression of her character, than 
 any thing else. They all show the same conscientious 
 ness, warm feelings, and quick perception of the good and 
 beautiful, which were so strikingly manifested in her life." 
 
 Believing this to be true, and also having abundant mate 
 rial of the kind, the remainder of the volume will be com 
 posed of sketches furnished by her own pen, with occa 
 sionally a remark or two in addition, by way of connection 
 or explanation. 
 
 This plan is also in accordance with an opinion which 
 Mary herself entertained. In a letter to a friend during the 
 winter she spent in New Haven, she says, " I think 
 there is no way in which the character of a person is so 
 fully disclosed, as in his letters. The leading traits gen 
 erally appear in one way or another. I believe what lit 
 tle character I possess, appears in my letters. We are 
 sometimes better able to express our ideas and feelings in 
 writing, than in conversation ; and I have found out more 
 
 * The one addressed C. C. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 45 
 
 of the character of my friends at Hartford, by their letters, 
 than I should by being in their society for years." 
 
 The amount of her writing was indeed considerable, for 
 one who occupied so quiet a station ; and the friend just 
 alluded to, was doubtless correct in saying, that "she wrote 
 three times as much as most young ladies, who do not ac 
 complish half what she did in other things, and yet are by 
 no means idle." It should be added, that she seldom devo 
 ted to writing, that portion of time which is ordinarily 
 spent in the daily, active duties of life. She had a surpris 
 ing facility in saving the fragments of time, and making 
 them tell in something tangible afterwards ; and much of 
 her writing was done in those odd moments which are 
 usually spent in recreation or rest, or rather by most young 
 persons in doing nothing at all. She had also a very good 
 facility in the use of the pen, thinking and writing with 
 great accuracy, seldom omitting a word or even a letter, 
 and never copying. Facility and dispatch were, however, 
 in her case, wholly the result of practice. When in her 
 childhood, she first began to embody her ideas in a school 
 composition, it seemed as if she never would be able to do 
 this, and four or six lines at most, was all that her small 
 stock of thought could possibly furnish. And then she had 
 rather more difficulty than is usual, in learning to hold her 
 pen, being naturally inclined to use the wrong hand, and 
 there was always something of weakness in the right one. 
 
 Her correspondents were numerous, but it was only com 
 paratively a few with whom she kept up a constant inter 
 course through the medium of the pen, whenever she was 
 separated from their society. With these she communica 
 ted without reserve, on whatever interested her at the 
 time, in something of the style of animated conversation. 
 But her letters must speak for themselves, with this excep 
 tion, however, that what are inserted in this volume, are 
 
46 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 only extracts, and therefore none of them can appear with 
 the beauty and sprightliness which they wear as a whole. 
 Although in all her letters there were sufficient indica 
 tions that she was always under the influence of religious 
 principle, and that she greatly desired her friends might 
 sympathise with her in this, yet there were times when 
 she made a more than ordinary effort to turn their atten 
 tion to the subject of religion. It is hoped that it will not 
 be out of place, to insert a few of the many letters she 
 wrote for this purpose, in this little volume, that so she, 
 " being dead," may yet continue to speak to others, in the 
 same simple and touching eloquence with which she was 
 ever wont to plead for the care of the soul. They will 
 therefore be dispersed through the remaining pages, accord 
 ing to their dates. 
 
 TO S , ONE OF HER EARLY FRIENDS. 
 
 HARTFORD, July, 1838. 
 
 " Two weeks more, and my name will cease to be en 
 rolled among those who attend the Seminary, and I shall 
 have passed those old walls, never again to return as a 
 pupil. It is a pleasant and also a painful thought. The 
 last of any thing is sad, but I am inclined to think the last 
 term of school is particularly so. The parting look at the 
 old familiar seats, where we have so often bowed at the 
 feet of learning, the farewells spoken with companions of 
 our study, and more than all, the adieus to our beloved 
 teachers, are painful tasks, but they will come. I have 
 been for many years at the Seminary, until I am familiar 
 with every spot, and I can truly say, that I have spent 
 hours of unmingled pleasure there, and I do not think I 
 shall ever meet happiness purer, and less tainted with 
 earth, in any other place. Mr. B. is so good, so excellent, 
 I feel that I have but just begun to know his worth ; he 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 47 
 
 takes such a kind interest in all his pupils, and watches so 
 over us with a father s care. I feel more at leaving him 
 than any one else. Mrs. Y., too, I shall always remember 
 with love and respect. She has shown me great kindness, 
 during all the time I have been at school. 
 
 We have had a very interesting time since you left us. 
 t hope we feel thankful to our Heavenly Father for his 
 goodness in giving us such a precious revival. When you 
 return here, I think you will find a change in some of those 
 who were gay and thoughtless when you left. 
 
 Dear S., may I be permitted to urge upon your attention 
 that subject which I know has in time past interested 
 you, and which I would hope does so still. Have you, my 
 dear friend, retained any thoughts on the subject of reli 
 gion, or has it all passed from your mind? Is there any 
 more convenient season for which you are waiting, ere 
 you make your peace with our Father in Heaven ? He is 
 such a good Father, that we would persuade you to come 
 and make trial for yourself. He is waiting to make you 
 his child. Can you stay away any longer from such a kind 
 friend? Perhaps you think that you have friends enough, 
 and happiness enough ; but without God for your friend, 
 and religion for your happiness, you are, and must ever be, 
 destitute of true enjoyment. 
 
 You have permitted me, in time past, to address you on 
 this subject, and may I not hope that you will excuse me 
 now? O, my dear friend, when I see so many whom 1 
 love, entering the path of life, I think of one who has ever 
 been dear to me, and I pray that she, too, may come and 
 walk in that path which leads to happiness, and everlast 
 ing life. May it not be so, soon, dear S ?" 
 
 The one to whom the following is addressed, was a very 
 dear friend of Mary s, and she seems to have preferred 
 
48 MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 writing, as it allowed her to use greater plainness with one 
 with whom she found it to be a very delicate and difficult 
 thing to converse on the subject of personal religion. 
 
 "I have wished for a long time, dear . to speak 
 
 with you on a subject which should be interesting to us 
 both ; but whenever I have attempted, it seemed as if a 
 spell bound me which I could not break. I do not wish 
 to preach a sermon, for that is not my office, but I do wish, 
 as a Christian, to speak to my dearest friend. On every 
 subject we converse freely, and our sympathies on other 
 subjects are also one. Should not our aims, our hopes, 
 be one ? We are now entering upon the active concerns 
 of life, and already do we form our opinions on the various 
 subjects which come up before us, and ought we not at 
 this important period of our existence, to consider the sub 
 ject of religion, and to make up our minds as to the influ 
 ence which its truths shall have over us through life ? 
 
 Dear , I have longed to tell you to what I feared your 
 
 dissatisfaction with yourself was owing. Is it not to a 
 want of fixed, Christian principle to guide you? Without 
 such a principle for our guide, how can we expect to thread 
 the wildering mazes of this life? The principles and max 
 ims of the world are radically wrong, and the bible is our 
 only guide. This is the golden clew to conduct us out of 
 this labyrinth of uncertainty. You have said that you 
 wish to study this winter and will it not be best to begin 
 at the fountain head of all knowledge, so that all you learn 
 may serve to raise you higher in the scale of being ? Ah, 
 of what use will it be to study the works of God, if we are 
 at variance with His righteous laws ! It will but serve to 
 increase our misery, if we, who see his wisdom and glory 
 in the creation around us, still keep on sinning against him. 
 
 My dear friend, let me entreat you to think of this sub- 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LEXXEP. 40 
 
 ject. Do not put it awaj r lightlj T . You are living for eter 
 nity. O, that this truth might impress itself so upon you, 
 that you could not forget it ; that its voice might sound in 
 your ear, whether in the gay throng, or the silence of your 
 own chamber, till you should be compelled to stop and 
 inquire what you should do to prepare for the scenes before 
 you." 
 
 TO THE SAME. 
 
 NEW HAVEN, 1838. 
 
 " Oh, how much there is yet to know ! This vast uni 
 verse lies before us, with its infinite mass of matter and 
 mind, and then there is an eternity in which to exercise 
 
 our powers. Oh, . how much we may accomplish ! 
 
 Just in the spring time of our existence, with souls which 
 will forever rise in purity and blessedness ; or will forever 
 sink in degradation and woe. Our careless, childish days 
 have passed, and now the serious business of living and 
 acting in God s universe, is beginning to be felt by us. 
 
 May we, my dear friend, have One for our guide, who 
 will lead us on in the paths of wisdom and virtue, until we 
 shall arrive at that state, where the soul will once more be 
 in its native glory. 1 
 
 TO s . 
 
 u lam sure, dear S , you must have misunderstood 
 
 my father in thinking he said the life of a sinner was 
 easier than the life of a Christian for I asked him yester 
 day, and he said, Oh, no, the yoke which the sinner bears, 
 is a much harder yoke than Christ s. 
 
 Think, my friend, what the sinner s yoke imposes the 
 pride, the vanity, the selfishness and envy which ever 
 accompany it ; the secret irritation which it ever produces. 
 Do you say that the Christian has all these, too? He 
 
50 MRS. MARY E VAN LENNEP. 
 
 may have them, but he is ever becoming more and more 
 free from them. Besides, it is not Christ s joke which is 
 hard, but the remains of the yoke of sin. It is this which 
 makes the Christian s course hard. 
 
 There is another difference in the two yokes. The one 
 of sin bears down the spirit ; becomes heavier and heavier, 
 till it sinks the soul at last in ruin while the other be 
 comes lighter and lighter, until in the end it ceases to be a 
 yoke, and the service of Christ becomes perfect freedom. 
 
 Why, my dear friend, do you shrink from being a Chris 
 tian, when you have a much more difficult road to pursue 
 by remaining a sinner ? There may be flowers in the way, 
 but with every flower there is poison and a thorn. The 
 Christian way is one of peace ; and as the trials, one by 
 one, drop off, the way appears more and more lovely, easy 
 and happy. The peace of God which passeth all under 
 standing shall keep your minds and hearts, through Jesus 
 Christ. And again, i To be spiritually minded is life and 
 peace. 
 
 Oh, my friend, why will you not believe the testimony 
 of God when He says these things? He knows what is 
 most for our good what will make us most happy. He 
 knows that if we give up searching for happiness among 
 things which will only yield disappointment, and will 
 come and love his service, that we shall be doing the thing 
 which will alone promote our true happiness. The bible 
 not only shows this, but the testimony of every true Chris 
 tian shows it also. My yoke is easy, and my burden is 
 light, says our Saviour, and all who have really tried, 
 have found it so. Why will you not try for yourself? 
 
 I have not the time, my dear friend, to say the half I 
 wish, and I hope you will excuse the liberty I take in 
 writing, for though I prefer conversation, I fear I shall not 
 be able to see you much next week. Oh, that when I do 
 
MRS. TOARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 see you, it may be to find you feeling that Christ s yoke is 
 a delightful one. You cannot know the inward, holy 
 peace which a true Christian has, till you enjoy it yourself. 
 But be assured it is no fiction. 
 
 I wish that you would either come and see me, or write 
 to me. 
 
 Ever your affectionate friend, 
 
 M. E. H. 
 
 TO HER FRIEND AT THE SOUTH, 
 
 THB SUMMER AFTER HER RETURN KROM NEW HAVEN. 
 
 HARTFORD, July 13, 1839. 
 
 " My dear M. I returned yesterday from a delightful 
 visit to Farmington, where I have been spending a few 
 days in the lovely family of Mr. N. I took your letter 
 with me, intending to have a pleasant time in writing to 
 you among the groves and hills of that sweet place ; but 
 as every hour was occupied, I was obliged to forego the 
 pleasure. You never went to the house I believe, but I 
 know you would like it. The rooms are airy, yet home 
 like, and there is every thing to gratify the taste in music, 
 flowers, books, drawings, &c. There is a wild little glen, 
 just at the foot of the garden, which has been left in its 
 natural state. I took my book there one morning, and 
 found it a very fit place to read of highland scenes, as they 
 are pictured by Scott. A seat has been built on the edge 
 of the ravine, inclosed by a wooden parapet ; and while I 
 sat there and looked down on the little brook, which mur 
 mured at the bottom of the glen, and saw the sun-light 
 dancing through the thick trees, and playing among the 
 shadows, it seemed like a spot for a fairy queen to hold 
 her court. 
 
 It is a year, a whole year, since we graduated. Can you 
 believe it ? I can ; for never did a year seem so long in 
 
52 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 some respects, although it seems short in others. Tell 
 me, Marion, which were happiest, school days, or days out 
 of school ? Ask me, and I will tell you that this last 
 year has been the happiest of my whole life. I only 
 wished you, dear M., a little nearer. I feel as thougn I had 
 just begun to live ; I have such new feelings, such delight 
 ful themes for contemplation and then, I am so happy in 
 my friendships. I believe there never was any one who 
 has so much to be thankful for. To be sure I have trials ; 
 and who has not ? How can we expect to live in this 
 world, without some things to trouble us ? My greatest 
 trials are from my own evil heart. There are times when 
 every thing looks gloomy and perplexed, and when I fear 
 I shall never know the truth ;* shall never be able to find 
 its hiding place, in this labyrinth of perplexity. But our 
 heavenly guide, who says, ask and ye shall receive, 7 
 will not leave in darkness any sincere inquirer after truth ; 
 and He who has said, be ye perfect, as your Father in 
 heaven is perfect, will He not guide our feeble steps, as 
 we are attempting to follow him, until, purified from sin, 
 we shall one day stand forth in our Creator s image ? 
 While gazing on the beauties of nature, amid the hills and 
 groves of the country, I thoitght, what a heaven our earth 
 would be, were the moral world as beautiful as the mate 
 rial. Dear M., do you not tViink that the goodness of our 
 Heavenly Father strikingly appears, in permitting those 
 who forget him, to enjoj r so much of beauty and happiness 
 as there is in this fair earth ? 
 
 You don t know how very important I feel, in having 
 so much to attend to at home, that my place is missed 
 
 * This state of mind might have been owing, in part, if not entirely, to her 
 having read several of the then new and popular writings of the day, such as Em 
 erson s, for instance, and several translations from the German, which, while they 
 dazzled, also bewildered. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 53 
 
 when I am absent. It has really raised my self esteem, to 
 know that I am needed any where, and especially to know, 
 that in the family circle I may be of some use. There 
 seems to me no pleasanter sphere of usefulness than that 
 which the eldest daughter has. It is such a comfort to 
 take the weight of family duties off from mother, and to 
 soothe father when he comes wearied from the affairs 
 which occupy his time and then it is delightful to aid 
 brother in his lessons, and to watch his mind as it begins 
 to unfold. How careful I must be, lest by a word of mine, 
 that mind be directed wrong ! 
 
 Tell me, dear M., how you succeed in all your plans. 
 As only daughters, we have common sympathies ; and may 
 aid each other in devising ways for increasing our influ 
 ence, and making it of the right kind. 
 
 I am writing to you, dear M., in the still noontide, when 
 every thing seems to have gone to rest but I have prefer 
 red talking with you, to yielding to the drowsy influence 
 around." 
 
 Her taste, as it developed itself in the love of the beau 
 tiful in nature, threw a charm over her whole life, and 
 contributed to enrich her intercourse with friends. It made 
 her an exceedingly desirable companion in a rural party. 
 There, away from the world, with friends whom she loved, 
 she delighted to revel amidst the beauties of the fair crea 
 tion around her. 
 
 The following description from her pen, of a scene that 
 occurred in such a party, of which she was one, will give 
 some idea of the ease and readiness with which she could 
 contribute her share to enliven such an excursion. Its date, 
 also, places it here. 
 
 5" 
 
54 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 NEW HAVEN, August, 1839. 
 
 Dear , 
 
 " Yesterday afternoon we had a delightful ride to Sal- 
 tonstall Lake. Is it not enchanting ? Who would think 
 that such a little fairy region was inclosed by those hills? 
 While taking our refreshments, we heard voices on the 
 opposite shore, and could discern female figures gliding 
 amongst the dark trees gentlemen, too, one with a guitar. 
 We thought ourselves fortunate in selecting a different 
 side from them, as they might have considered us as intru 
 ders. Dr. and Mrs. F. were too tired to ascend the hill, 
 so J. and I thought we would beau ourselves up. We did 
 not go round by the path, but clinging hold of the boughs 
 of pine, we almost swung from place to place, it being too 
 steep to admit of a firm foothold. It became easier after 
 we had reached the regular path, and escaped the tangled 
 brushwood ; and we sauntered on at our leisure, while I 
 sang loud and carelessly, using the freedom that this moun 
 tain land gave, 
 
 Through the wood, through the wood, follow and find me, 
 
 Search every hollow, each dingle and dell ; 
 I leave not the print of a footstep behind me, 
 
 So they who would see me, must seek for me well. 
 
 A voice came up from the water, and it repeated with 
 beautiful emphasis, every word of the song. I stood pet 
 rified with amazement and fear. I little expected to have 
 awakened the echoes of the lake. J. enjoyed my embar 
 rassment, and Mrs. F., who walked on the shore, called 
 to her to have me respond to the echo. But the music 
 from the water commenced again, Shall we meet again, 
 Mary V and I answered, never, oh never. 
 
 Each word was heard with perfect distinctness in the 
 clear regions where we stood, although neither party could 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 55 
 
 see the other. We were hidden from the lake by thick 
 pine trees, jet every ripple of the waters, and dipping of 
 the oar, sounded upon the still air. Mrs. F. could see the 
 musical boextmen, and she said they rested on their oars, 
 looking up intently as they sung to wake the mountain 
 echo. 
 
 Thus we went on singing and responding many beauti 
 ful songs : 
 
 Near the lake where droop d the willow, 
 
 My heart s in the highlands, &c., 
 
 and many others. At last we sang our farewells, and J. 
 and myself descended to the shore. I should not have been 
 willing to have carried on this little frolic of romance, if I 
 had not recognized the voice, (for it was no other than 
 
 W , the brother of the poet,) and had I not been certain 
 
 also, that my own was not recognized, for he had never 
 heard me sing before. We separated with no other recog 
 nition than what our songs afforded, and returned to the 
 city. 
 
 I feel tempted to describe our lovely ride home in the 
 evening, but words express so feebly what we feel in be 
 holding scenes in nature. We rode slowly along round 
 the shore of the bay, watching the sun as it set, and threw 
 its rays on the water. The dark clouds, which hung por 
 tentously in the western horizon, were lighted with gor 
 geous hues, and the brilliant reflection strangely contrasted 
 with the sombre colors beneath. The day had been warm, 
 and the breeze which came in from the sound, was refresh 
 ing to us after our rambles. Far away to the south-east, we 
 could discern a few light sails, while the city lay stretched 
 out before us, with its guardian rocks, presenting their bold 
 outline to the sky. It was a scene which might tempt a 
 painter s skill." 
 
56 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP 
 
 TO M. D. 
 
 October 1st, 1839. 
 
 " My dear M. I am at present very happy, in the society 
 of a new friend, who speaks the language of love, joy. hope, 
 and every other feeling of the heart. Now, who do you 
 think it is ? You are no yankee, so I will tell you that 
 the day before yesterday, I received a beautiful piano. 
 My friends all come to see it, and it returns their attentions 
 with such effect, that they are delighted. For myself I 
 can say, that I never heard a more perfect instrument. 
 Mr. G., our organist, whose taste is considered equal to 
 any one in this country, says that it is the finest he has 
 touched since he came to America. Such a union of bril 
 liancy, softness, sweetness and power, is rarely surpassed 
 by any instrument." 
 
 To another friend, she speaks of her piano thus : " Dr. 
 F. came to try my new piano, and I was delighted with 
 the high opinion he entertains of my rose-wood compan 
 ion. He thinks it the finest he has ever seen, and has 
 paid it or me, a compliment, which is very flattering. He 
 has set some beautiful verses to music, and inscribed it to 
 his friend Mary, an honor she feels quite unworthy of. The 
 music is very sweet, just suited to the words. If you were 
 only here I would sing them to you." 
 
 The piano of which she speaks, was presented to her 
 by some highly respected and much loved friends of her 
 father s, and was a gift worthy the donors. Many were 
 the devices of her grateful heart, to make to them some 
 suitable expression of her sense of the favor they had done 
 her ; but she at last concluded, that to make it subservient 
 to her better qualification for usefulness in life, would be 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP . 57 
 
 the best return she could make them, and would also be in 
 accordance with the object for which it was given her. 
 
 TO M. D. 
 
 HARTFORD, October 16, 1839. 
 
 " Oh, if you were only here, and I could talk with you 
 instead of writing. I am seated where I can look far away 
 to the south, and as I gaze on the scene before me, I can 
 almost imagine that I see the spires and elms of my own 
 New Haven, skirting the horizon. How often have. I sat 
 at this window, and wished that my vision might extend 
 to that lovely city. Tis a year next Monday, since I 
 went there for the winter what a thrill comes over my 
 spirit, every time I think of last winter ! I love to dwell 
 on each little incident every hour, almost every moment, is 
 as fresh to my memory as if it had passed only yesterday. 
 The last year has been my happiest ; and why the recol 
 lection of it is mingled with sadness, I can hardly tell 
 perhaps because t is past, never to return. If I should go 
 there ever again to spend any time, it would not be like the 
 last winter ; for some of my dearest friends have gone, some 
 have died, and some changed. 
 
 I must tell you something of the affairs of our little circle. 
 We have a sewing society, which meets every fortnight on 
 Tuesday, and a musical, every intervening Tuesday. Then 
 we hope also to have a reading society, and these occu 
 pations, together with the Institute lectures, which are 
 quite fashionable now, will take up a considerable portion 
 of our time during the winter. We have our little prayer 
 meetings, as usual, on Thursday afternoon of each week, 
 and every Sabbath evening there is an exercise in Doddridge 
 
58 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 at the Lecture room. I have quiet, pleasant times at home 
 in reading, and now and then, star gazing.* 
 
 You see how particular I have been to tell you of our 
 affairs, so that if you choose to remember us this winter, 
 you may imagine how we are situated. For myself I must 
 say, that I hope the coming winter will be spent in such a 
 manner, that when I look back upon it from the distant 
 ages of eternity, it may be with approbation. 
 
 ******* 
 
 Had I been told a year ago, that M. would allow six 
 months to pass, without writing to her northern friends, I 
 should have said that the person who could make such an 
 assertion, was unworthy of my confidence. I know that 
 strange things happen in this world, and I must be pre 
 pared for them, but unfaithful friends are what I know 
 very little about from experience. Thus far I have never 
 been deceived in a friend, and though I cannot suppose that 
 I shall always be so favored, yet I should be very sorry 
 to know that Marion was the first to break the spell, the 
 magic spell of friendship. I will therefore have all leni 
 ency now ; and not think that M. has given up her north 
 ern friends. I will wait yet longer, for I cannot bear to 
 come to such a conclusion." 
 
 TO THE SAME. 
 
 HARTFORD, January 29, 1840. 
 
 " Your long looked for letter, my dear Marion, came, 
 and was received with much satisfaction. It set every 
 thing right, so far as doubt of your friendship was con 
 cerned ; and while we cannot help feeling a little sad, that 
 our dear M. D. is to be forever lost, we hope to find in Mrs. 
 
 * To these details should be added, that some portion of each day found her ac 
 tively employed in household duties, and that she was often abroad on errands of 
 benevolence, or engaged in the same at home. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 59 
 
 S. E., a friend who will possess the same sweet, affection 
 ate qualities. 
 
 So, then, you are to be a good minister s wife, and lady 
 of the parish : and while you are attending to the various 
 preparations for the approaching eventful day, and ar 
 ranging all the wedding paraphernalia, we are quietly pur 
 suing our course, very much in the same way as when you 
 was one of our number. Perhaps if you were to see us, 
 you might think we were somewhat changed. You left 
 us when our characters, though formed in the main, were 
 yet in a state to receive any new impression, and if you 
 were now to return, you might find opinions, and feelings, 
 and principles quite new-modeled. I am inclined to think 
 that the same is true of you. Your letters show that you 
 have somewhat altered in your views of things, though I 
 hope your character in general, bears a near resemblance 
 to the M. who was once the joy of our social circle. 
 
 ****** 4 
 
 My beloved Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Hovey, has 
 left us for her home in heaven. It seems a sad dream I 
 do not yet. realize it. But it is so. We shall go to her, 
 but she will never return to us. For some weeks past the 
 world has looked dark to me, but heaven has been bright, 
 as it has opened its portals to receive our beloved friends to 
 its mansions of rest. 
 
 I am thinking of going to New Haven for a few days ; 
 but it will be a sad visit so many absent from our circle 
 some in the busy tumult of life, and some in the spirit 
 land. But passing away, is written on every thing 
 earthly. How sweet it is to look beyond this misty, 
 gloomy world, where all things are shrouded in dim twi 
 light, to the bright, pure Heaven, where the sunshine of 
 glory eternally reigns. 7 
 
 Am I wrong in writing to you thus, when you are in the 
 
60 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 midst of so much happiness ? I know, dear M., that to 
 you the world must wear a beautiful countenance, and life 
 appear to pass amid green vales and clear streams, and be 
 neath blue and smiling skies. I pray that it may always 
 be thus fair. I know it will be so, if your way is illumined 
 by the Sun of Righteousness, arid ify amid the storms which 
 may ere long beat upon it, your spirit shall catch, and re 
 flect, the rays of glorious brightness, which even through 
 the gloom, come to us from the world of light and peace. 
 
 And now our paths in life are really to be different. 
 Yours will be one, where many responsibilities will meet 
 you ; but of whatever nature these may be, I shall ever 
 pray that you may have strength to meet them. May you 
 have the light and peace of a Christian hope to shine, not 
 only on your bridal day, and on each festal scene, but also 
 to gild, with a quiet lustre, the sober duties of life which 
 will follow ; and, happy in your husband s love, may you 
 pass through life usefully, until at length you shall arrive 
 at that world, where only is known the full bliss of friend 
 ship. 
 
 We should love to be present with you on the 19th. If 
 we all come as a band of spirits around your bridal train, 
 will you not bid us welcome 1 
 
 Did you receive a letter from me which was written in 
 July ? I was very happy at that time, and dreamed away 
 many long summer days in bright anticipations and sweet 
 remembrances. Now the dreamer is becoming a little 
 more sober. How could she help it ? when so many she 
 loved have departed, either to distant lands of this same 
 rolling orb, or to unknown regions in this vast universe, 
 which can be reached only through death s gateway. 
 What scenes are every hour transpiring in distant worlds, 
 while we go wandering on in this little globe, so much oc 
 cupied with what appear to us as vast designs, that we 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 61 
 
 scarcely look beyond to the universe around, from which 
 we are separated by only a breath." 
 
 TO . 
 
 February 16, 1840. 
 
 "I have wanted, many times during this week, rny 
 
 dear , to renew our conversation on the topics 
 
 which occupied us on Monday. It is a too deeply inter 
 esting subject, which concerns our eternal welfare, to give 
 it only a passing attention. A winter s walk in a noisy 
 city, is no place nor time to converse on such themes. I 
 long for the time to come, \\ hen we can go and converse 
 amid the woods and fields, and talk of that world which 
 will be our home, when this has passed away. My dear 
 friend, I do want you to think of your preparation for that 
 world. 
 
 You say you do not feel. That is one reason why you 
 should think. How is it we become interested in any sub 
 ject ? Is it not by giving our attention to it ? Dear , 
 
 you are now confined by a sic!- ness, which shuts you out 
 from general society. Is it not therefore a favorable time 
 to think of God, and of your duty to him ; of the Saviour, 
 and of all that he has suffered to redeem you from death ; 
 of all his Spirit is now doing, to win you to the love and 
 service of God, and to raise you to heaven ? Be persuaded 
 to give it your whole attention. A passing thought will 
 not do. Is a day too long ? Would you think so if you 
 were saved by it, and in some distant age, from the 
 heights of purity and wisdom which you had attained, 
 should look back on that one day spent in seriously pon 
 dering the question of your soul s salvation?" 
 
 Mary had a contemplative mind, slightly tinged with 
 sadness, and yet she was never melancholy. She has 
 noticed this trait, or habit of mind, in her private journal ; 
 
 6 
 
62 MRS. MAIU T E. VAN LENNiSP. 
 
 for, as she said, it seemed to constitute a part of her very 
 being, and she watched its influence on her Christian char 
 acter, with great carefulness. She says of herself, u I can 
 not hear a strain of music, or gaze on the quiet sky, with 
 out having an under current of sadness mingling with my 
 deep enjoyment. From a child I have felt it. When 
 quite young, t remember wondering why I felt half sad, half 
 happy, on one sunny summer afternoon, when, upon a long- 
 green hillside where I was playing, the sunlight lay so 
 still and beautiful. It was the commencement of a feel 
 ing which has since grown, so as to tinge my whole char 
 acter. Every thing I most enjoy is most sad." She 
 " mused on nature," with a Christian s, as well as " with 
 a poet s eye." Some sketches from her pen, illustrative 
 of this trait, will be placed here on account of the date 
 they bear. 
 
 MUSINGS. 
 
 LAST DAY OF SPRING, 1840. 
 
 " Again are these exquisite, though soul-sickening days 
 with us in all their oppressive loveliness. The soft winds 
 stir among the green boughs, scattering the last blossoms 
 of spring upon the verdant turf. Above us, the skies smile 
 in their ever varying beauty. The trees, robed in fresh 
 foliage, hanging not heavily, as in sultry summer days, 
 wave gracefully in the fragrant breeze, while the sunlight 
 dancing in the shadows beneath them, sheds a softened 
 radiance over leaf and flower ; or rests in golden beauty on 
 gentle slopes and meadows of living green. Beautiful 
 warblers plume their bright wings, and soar far away into 
 the vault of heaven, where soft clouds rest like a snowy 
 veil above earth s loveliness. And I have come to my old 
 familiar seat. How soft the light steals in through the 
 half-closed shutters ! With what a gentle sound do the 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 63 
 
 ever varying tones of nature fall upon my ear ! And yet 
 my soul is not still. Oh, ye days of beauty, tell us why. in 
 all your loveliness, ye do wake mournful chords within us ? 
 Tell us why each whisper of the breeze calls forth a gush 
 of sadness from our burdened hearts, and as we bend in 
 silent admiration, a something all too deep for utterance, 
 presses on the soul with its heavy weight ? 
 
 I was much interested this morning with a verse in 
 " Mrs. Hemans Voice of Music," embodying the thought 
 that the sadness which even the most joyous melody awa 
 kens, is for the want of a perfectness, which can never be 
 found on earth, and for which the soul seeks in vain. Or, 
 as she beautifully expresses it, 
 
 "A something which finds not its answer here, 
 A chain to be clasped in a holier sphere." 
 
 It is this something, which stirs our spirits, as we wander 
 amidst nature s lovely haunts. In the dark grove, where 
 cool waters flow, on gentle knolls where we rest at even, 
 and watch, as the beams of day are fading, till the gold 
 melts away to the rose, and with a blushing beauty die 
 upon the sky. in such shaded spots, and silent hours, the 
 spirit, even in its deep gladness, sighs that there is still a 
 void within which nothing here can fill. But in that purer, 
 brighter world which revelation opens to our view, the full 
 tide of joy may ever swell and know no check. There, 
 no sad remembrance shall mar our peace, no sorrow cast 
 its leaden weight on our spirits, as we drink in the glorious 
 beauty of this vast universe." 
 
 TO c. c., 
 
 WITH LONGFELLOW S PSALM OF LIFE. AND OTHER PIECKS. 
 
 September, 1840. 
 
 " It may be, my dear C., that these lines, which to me 
 have such fascination, are not of the kind which you like ; 
 
64 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and jet I thought that the spiritual beauty which charac 
 terizes the whole, could not but fill and enrapture the soul, 
 with you as with me. There is about the Psalm of Life, 
 so much of inspiration, that one feels after reading it. ready 
 to suffer and be strong, in any path through this life. 
 
 What a mysterious thing it is to exist, to have a being 
 in the universe. Sometimes the thought comes with over 
 whelming power, that lam existing, and shall exist forever ; 
 and that my smallest actions, slightest thoughts, have 
 some connection with the world, the universe around. 
 Dear C., may each thought, each act of ours, bring us 
 nearer to that perfection for which we are aiming, or as 
 Longfellow says, may we 
 
 Learn to act, that each to-morrow, 
 Find us farther than to-day. " 
 
 TO C. C. 
 
 HARTFORD, Dec. 15, 1840 
 
 " Many thoughts have been suggested to my mind by 
 your note, dear C., which I have longed to sit down and 
 give to you. Not that they are important, as mine, but 
 because I know you will sympathize with me in all that 
 concerns my preparation for the unknown and untried 
 future. Dear C., I feel that for one I am too apt to forget 
 it. How much must be done, before these natures of ours 
 can become fit for the society of the pure and holy of 
 heaven. It is thoughts like these, that make me feel I 
 have been dreaming. How do all the beautiful creations 
 of a poet s fancy, all the speculations of a philosopher, 
 appear, when compared with the work which God has 
 given us to do. Help me, my dear friend, to keep my eye 
 steadily fixed upon this work. So teach us to number 
 our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 65 
 
 is a petition we need daily to offer. Let us pray for each 
 other, that our characters may be formed after the true 
 Christian model, and so we be prepared for our eternal 
 
 home. 
 
 * . * * * **** 
 
 What lovely evenings we have had lately. There is 
 something in a winter s sunset, peculiarly tranquilizing. A 
 holy calm seems to veil the earth, when the evening star 
 looks down so still and saint-like. If I could have only 
 one hour in a day to myself, it should be just as the sun 
 light fades, and while the evening star lingers above the 
 horizon. What lessons of peace and truth does it read us ; 
 how it seems to point away from this narrow earth, to 
 regions of perfect holiness and love. Do not those gentle 
 beams give promise of a purer life beyond the grave 1 It 
 is not my style to weep often, but the solemn teachings of 
 the evening star, have power in sudden gushes the tears 
 to bring, yet not such tears as music calls forth, which 
 refresh not and still must fall. But we must talk together 
 again of music. 
 
 TO M., 
 
 ON HEARING THAT SHE HAD RETURNED TO THE HOME OF HER YOUTH, IN WIDOW 
 HOOD, ONLY SIX MONTHS AFTER SHE HAD LEFT IT. 
 
 HAUTFOHD, Dec. 19, 1810. 
 
 " W T e have often, my dear Marion, in days gone by, 
 mingled our hearts together, both in joy and sorrow, and 
 you know not now how earnestly I long to annihilate the 
 distance between us, that I may express to you, what it is 
 not possible to put on paper, the deep sympathy we all feel 
 in the affliction which our Heavenly Father has seen fit to 
 send you. How little we thought of the future ! This life 
 of ours would indeed be a mystery, were it not for the cheer 
 ing light which revelation throws upon it ; and our spirits 
 would sink beneath the load of afflictions which weigh 
 
66 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 them down, were it not for the support which the gospel 
 of Christ affords. There we can find rest for the aching 
 heart. 
 
 Marion, the sad lessons of life have been early taught 
 us, and we have found that the change which must come 
 over the spirit of our dreams, exists not merely in a poet s 
 fancy. Yet, is it not well ? Do we not need the lesson ? 
 If we might always have our friends with us here, and if 
 our intercourse were not embittered by some trial, should 
 we not make of them idols, and twine about them our heart s 
 best affections ? 
 
 I feel, my dear sister, that it is but poor sympathy I can 
 give, and it is with fear I am writing, lest I touch the 
 broken harp strings with too rude a hand. There is One, 
 and 1 love to think that, to that One, my dear friend, in her 
 days of happiness, was no stranger, who, while he wounds, 
 can heal. Is it not strange that we should need affliction 
 to draw our hearts to this, our best friend ? 
 
 When I wrote to you, dear M., of the afflictions with 
 which many families here have been visited, it seemed 
 almost wrong for me to intrude such sad tales upon your 
 bridal days. How little I thought that a few short months 
 would have rendered you familiar with other than joyous 
 scenes. Will you not write to me, and permit me to sym 
 pathize with you? We have been friends together, and 
 shall we not in sorrow as well as in joy, mingle our hearts ? 
 Speak to me of your comforts in this your affliction, that 
 when 1 taste the cup of sorrow, which sooner or later must 
 be tasted by all of us, 1 too may know how to be sup 
 ported. 
 
 You have still a blessing in your dear precious parents. 
 But I very well know that it is not in the power of any 
 earthly friend to take the place of a lost one. And why 
 should we wish this ? Our lost friends, who sleep in 
 
MRS. MARY E VAN LENNEP. 67 
 
 Jesus, will one day be all restored. They may, even now, 
 be around our path, as guardian angels, blessing us by 
 their silent presence, and shedding, though unseen, a sweet 
 and heavenly influence around us. And will they not wel 
 come us to heaven ? 
 
 How little do the sufferings of this life appear, in com 
 parison with the eternal weight of glory which will follow 
 this short season of trial. That eternal weight of glory ! 
 Our feeble, imperfect minds, cannot comprehend it. But 
 God, our Father, will prepare us for it. Shall we not, 
 therefore, submit cheerfully to the discipline of His hand 
 and feel, 
 
 That by the light and shade, through which our pathway lies. 
 By the beauty and the grief alike, we re training for the skies. 
 
 Your name is often mentioned here with affectionate 
 interest. We remember the young, lively M., who left us 
 so full of health and happiness. And you remember us in 
 our school girl days, full of hopes and pleasures. Two 
 years have not passed so lightly over us. but that the sober 
 lines of life have checked ours in some degree. In the va 
 ried scenes of coming years, may we find our characters 
 becoming moulded into the image of our blessed Saviour, 
 and whether we pass through happiness or adversity, may 
 we be advancing towards heaven. 
 
 Dear Marion, you have one more tie to endear that heav 
 enly home to you ; and the ties there will continue to 
 strengthen, as one by one, those of earth become severed. 
 
 Sabbath evening. I have just returned, my dear M., 
 from a service in our lecture room. I wish you could be 
 with us again in these meetings. They remind me of the 
 last winter you spent here, when so many whom we 
 loved became Christians. It is delightful to see one and 
 another of my friends choosing the path to heaven. Would 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 thut we might, all, like a band of sisters, pursue it together! 
 
 Our dear , lovely and beloved, and satisfied with the 
 
 blessings which are showered around her way, has still to 
 choose that happiness which alone is enduring. I know 
 she is remembered in your prayers. Let us, dear M., pray 
 continually for this dear friend, lest she perish, and the 
 guilt be ours." 
 
 TO C. C. 
 
 HARTFORD, Dec. 31, 1840. 
 
 Ten o clock. Two hours more, the old year s death knell. 
 
 " It were much more fitting for you, my dear C., to 
 write me a new-year s letter, naitheless, I will not let the 
 evening pass without thanking you for your kind, refresh 
 ing note, which came to me on a weary morning, like a 
 spring to one in a desert land. 
 
 I am in but a poor mood for writing, for my heart seems 
 dying with the poor old year. The day has been cloudy 
 and dark (as you know) but the stars are lighting now the 
 old year from this world of faithlessness and sin, and a 
 clearer sky than we have had for many a day, gives prom 
 ise of a brighter to-morrow. But I have thought my spirit 
 out, I do believe, for I cannot care for either old year or 
 new. While I am writing, some lingering remains of 
 memory remind me of a thrilling picture in Illustrations of 
 the Song of the Bell, by the same hand that etched that 
 fearful one we saw at Mr. D s. Perhaps I spoke to you 
 of it ; it was of the hours corning in, in one long proces 
 sion from eternity, and receiving their portion either of good 
 or ill to dispense, as they passed through time. What will 
 the hours of this coming year bring us ! 
 
 Dear C.. the foundations of my soul seem all breaking 
 away. I never felt so entirely adrift in the universe, with 
 out compass or anchor, as I do at present. All that I 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 69 
 
 thought firmly fixed in my heart is gone, and I shrink from 
 the year, as bringing only new helplessness at a time when 
 I need all my energies. Forgive me, my dear friend, for 
 troubling you with these things. A letter on the eve of 
 another great period which marks off the time of frail, per 
 ishing mortals, should be full of hope of encouragement ; 
 and forgetting the past, should look towards the glorious 
 future the coming existence, when the strife with evil 
 shall have ended. But thus I am little able to write now. 
 The few longings I have ever had for the strife, seem all 
 quenched. If I thought this state of mind was to last, I 
 should be miserable. Perhaps I have fallen into some 
 slough of despond, but if so, it must be a very different 
 one from Christian s, for there appears no helping hand. 
 I am not jesting, my dear C., neither am I indulging my 
 self in a melancholy dream ; but a conviction of what I 
 am, and my utter inability to be any better, has so weighed 
 upon me lately, as to drive almost every thing else from 
 my mind. Do you know what I can do ? If you have 
 any talisman to still the unquiet beatings of my heart, 
 send it to me I pray you. 
 
 Why am I so selfish as to write thus to you ? I am sure 
 I did not sit down to the unmerciful task of making you 
 acquainted with my utter destitution, but it was with the 
 laudable intention of wishing you a happy new-year , 
 happy in the consciousness of a daily increase in all that is 
 worthy of an immortal and redeemed soul. O. my friend, 
 press on in that glorious path with renewed ardor. Our 
 Saviour has marked the way, and will ever be near, to 
 guide, and strengthen, and to bring you safe to the hills 
 of light. I dare not think of those everlasting hills. It 
 blinds my eyes with tears ; for the long, weary path, full 
 of difficulties, snares, temptations, corruptions, comes into 
 my view, and fills me with gloomy forebodings. It does 
 
70 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 not seem as though I can ever get over them. Evil habits 
 so fixed in the deepest recesses of the heart love of the 
 world, with its poor perishing trifles, dragging the spirit 
 down to earth. Will they drag it down forever? Can no 
 one break the strong fetters ? But, this does not sound very 
 much like the words of a believer in all the promises so 
 glorious and precious, written on every page of God s holy 
 word. The very fact that I am a believer in them, makes 
 me still sadder, for if I believed rightly, I should have no 
 more discouragements. 
 
 Well, perhaps I shall feel differently when to-morrow s 
 light brings a young, glad year, and the children in their 
 careless glee, little recking of the future, shall come with 
 their joyous greetings, and the world shall go on just as 
 before, whirling and bustling, and our hearts, sorrowing, 
 toiling, rejoicing till the last year comes, and the strife is 
 ended, the drama closed. There remaineth therefore a 
 rest to the people of God. Oh, for an entrance into that 
 rest. I do not feel like giving up yet. There is a Saviour 
 to guide us there. And when the old year is dead, and 
 the bell has tolled its parting ; when the new year comes 
 with its life and hope, let us, my dear C., rise, not in gloom, 
 not in despondency, but in the calm and fixed resolve, to 
 go on in the strife, even to the end ; to learn to labor and 
 to wait, to suffer and be strong. to endure unto the 
 end, looking to our glorious and risen Saviour, and to the 
 bright company already redeemed, and who circle the 
 throne in their spotless robes. 
 
 Dear C., I long to sit by you, to take your hand in mine, 
 and talk of our duties, our labors and trials. There is a 
 rest from sin at the end of all these. Mother comes 
 to me very beseechingly to close my letter, it is so late. But 
 she tells me just to put in her love so here it is, with mine 
 also, and many a wish for your hnppinr ss the coming year. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 71 
 
 TO A FRIEND IN NEW HAVEN. 
 
 HARTFORD, Jan. 18, 1841. 
 
 " My dear J. How I wish you had been with me this 
 evening, in our solemn services, hearing Mr. K. discourse 
 from When he maketh inquisition for blood, he reinem- 
 bereth them. As I cast my eye over the audience, and 
 saw the young, the lovely, the gay, the intelligent, and 
 thought how in probability the souls of some, even of those 
 whose hearts were tender, would sink into eternal misery, 
 it seemed to me we were all asleep, to think so calmly 
 about it. To be eternally lost ! Oh, what is it ! Lost, 
 too, when we might be saved ! Do not such thoughts 
 come at times with an almost overwhelming weight ? And 
 can we believe them, and yet do so little scarcely warn 
 our friends of danger? 
 
 I had a horrid dream last night. It has haunted me all 
 day. Shall I tell it ? I dreamed (it almost paralizes my 
 hand to write it.) that s day of probation was over, 
 and she eternally lost ; fixed* forever in the land of despair, 
 without one gleam of hope : severed from all that she loved, 
 and condemned to dwell with the spirits of darkness and 
 woe : and all this when I might have prevented it. 
 Through aJJ the long night I wandered from place to place 
 with my wretched heart, and the image of my friend eter 
 nally lost through my influence and in bitterness of soul, 
 I felt as if I could die too. Pray, my dear friend, for the 
 salvation of this dear girl. Must it be that she die in the. 
 midst of so much light from God s word, and with the 
 hopes of the gospel spread out so plainly to her view? 
 What are we about to let our friends go on, day after day, 
 with no warning voice to wake them from the sleep of sin ? 
 Has not God promised to answer prayer? Oh, yes, our 
 
72 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 poor feeble prayers ! and I have evidence, blessed be his 
 holy name, that the prayers of some one are answered in 
 her behalf; it may be mine, it may be yours ; but no mat 
 ter, dear is not entirely careless ; she does think ; 
 
 she can feel, and by the blessing of God she may be saved. 
 My dear J., could we together supplicate God s spirit to 
 strive with her heart, and never to leave her until her heart 
 is given to Christ, how I should rejoice. But this cannot 
 be. Each in our own chamber, and alone with our God, 
 must pray for the salvation of this dear friend. Will you, 
 dear J., every night at the twilight hour, join me in prayer 
 for this blessing ?" 
 
 TO M. D. 
 
 HARTFORD, Feb. 15, 1841. 
 
 " My dear M. Your precious letter has filled my heart 
 with gratitude to our Heavenly Father, for giving you in 
 your affliction, such a sweet spirit of resignation to his 
 holy will. Yes, my dear friend, he is an Almighty Com 
 forter, and it is sweet to lie in his hands, and to feel the 
 everlasting arms beneath the sinking soul. Continue, dear 
 M., to trust and love him as you now do, and you will 
 reap the reward of patient waiting on him. Think of the 
 promises in his word. How full of love ! A balm for all 
 our woes. O, take them home to your heart. Our Father s 
 chastening hand is upon you, dearest, but we* rejoice that 
 you can feel it is in love ; and though now it is very dark 
 to you, one day you will be able to rejoice in view of the 
 wisdom and goodness of this trying dispensation. On 
 those hills of light, where all tears are wiped away, where 
 no sin nor sorrow ever come, there we shall look back on 
 our pilgrimage through the world, and shall see how ne 
 cessary was all the discipline through which we passed. 
 
 Yet we may weep , for religion does not seal the heart, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 73 
 
 and forbid us to mourn over our buried joys ; but while we 
 mourn, it teaches us to do this, * not as those who have no 
 hope. l The sorrow of the world worketh death ; but 
 the religion of Christ teaches us to look beyond the grave, 
 to that glorious world, where, having been made l perfect 
 through suffering, we shall find our rest. 
 
 M., how dream-like appears the time when you was 
 here with us. Do you remember the various talks we had 
 of the future ? How we whispered our thoughts to each 
 other about this busy, and then bright world 1 We were 
 novices then in the art of happiness, and worse than 
 novices in our anticipations of it at least so far as we 
 expected to find it here. Though we warned each other 
 about trusting the dazzle of this earth, though we told how 
 others had found it unsatisfying, there was, after all, a secret 
 feeling well, if they were disappointed, we may not be, 
 and our dreams appeared so rational, we thought we could 
 not be. But, my friend, you are realizing now the truth 
 that this is a state of trial, not our home, our portion. And 
 is it not best to be taught this early in life, that our affec 
 tions may be set on heaven ? In that world, we shall look 
 with very different feelings upon our earthly joys and sor- 
 sows, from what we do here. How much we need trust 
 in God. There is no state in which we do not need his 
 guidance. God, our Saviour, is our life. Oh yes, our life ! 
 1 Our life is hid with Christ in God. 
 
 March \. I have been delaying thus, dear M., hoping 
 to have an opportunity to converse with father on the sub 
 ject to which you alluded in your letter. I think he will 
 write you when his duties become less pressing ; but at 
 present he is fully occupied. There is a delightful work 
 going on in our city, of which I have been longing to tell 
 you ; for many you knew and loved are hoping in Christ. 
 
 7 
 
74 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 It is nearly two months since the commencement of the 
 revival, which has been mostly among the young people. 
 The way had sometime been preparing for this, when Mr. 
 K. came and spent one month here, preaching every after 
 noon to professors of religion, and in the evening to others, 
 particularly to those who were not Christians. 
 
 The remembrance of those seasons is like a green spot 
 in this desert world. We came forth from our dark places, 
 and stood in the light of the Sun of Righteousness ; we cast 
 off our garments of mourning, and put on the garments of 
 praise, and already the glory from the celestial city seemed 
 beaming down upon us. It seems to us now, as though we 
 can never go back to the troubled streams of this world, 
 having tasted of the streams which flow from the throne.of 
 God and the Lamb. But, dear M., I know not how to tell 
 you half. Many are changed and more than all, and I 
 have been keeping this to tell you last, our own dear 
 
 ; * my heart is very full what shall I say ! She 
 
 has joined our little prayer meeting, and our intercourse 
 now is so delightful, it seems like heaven begun on earth. 
 It is sometime since she became interested. Before the 
 revival she bad begun to feel that this world could not sat 
 isfy the wants of her immortal soul. With all her enjoy 
 ments there was still an aching void} She has had many 
 perplexities and discouragements, since she began to think 
 seriously upon the subject, but our Heavenly Father has 
 been leading her along very gently, and bringing her into 
 the right way. Let us rejoice together in this. Cannot 
 you, my dear sister, even in your affliction, thank God that 
 one more dear one is added to that band who are ever to 
 live and praise God around his throne ? Some of our 
 beloved ones are already there ; and we are waiting here, 
 in this our pilgrimage, for our Saviour to call us. He will 
 
 * The young friend about whom she had the dream. 
 
t 
 
 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 75 
 
 come in his own good time. And them also that sleep in 
 Jesus, will God bring with him. This verse, M., looks 
 very much as though we shall not only know our departed 
 friends, but that it will also be an addition to our happiness, 
 to have them with us. Does not this seem to intimate that 
 we shall still love and be interested in those whom we 
 knew and loved on the earth, more than those, with whom 
 we are to begin an acquaintance ? Nor will this at all in 
 terfere with our loving every one. It does not, to my 
 mind, seem requisite to the perfect bliss of heaven, that we- 
 should have equal love to all. I have had a little conver 
 sation with father on the subject, and he said that there 
 was nothing which could lead us to think that friendships 
 begun on earth, and founded in pure motives, might not be 
 continued and increased in heaven. I have thought much 
 on the subject, dear M., and have heard various opinions 
 about it, some of which have made me unhappy ; and I 
 have come to the conclusion to leave the matter with God. 
 He can fill our largest desires. We are in his hands. Our 
 dear departed friends are with him at rest. Let us see to 
 it, that we are prepared for that rest which remaineth for 
 the people of God. This is the great thing, after all, that 
 we have a part in the great salvation. Then our cup of 
 happiness will be full in the other world, even though we 
 may not here, know the way in which God will fill it. I 
 long to see you once again, dear sister of my heart, to 
 mourn with you, and to look with you to heaven where 
 Jesus is, and where we may be, if we trust in him. Oh, 
 that we could love and serve him more perfectly. How 
 sweet to feel that in heaven there will be no more sin. 
 We must toil, each in our part of the vineyard, doing what 
 little we can, till we go to our rest in heaven. There we 
 shall spend an eternity together. There I shall know all 
 that j Ou have known and loved. Let us comfort one 
 another with these words, " 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 HER RELIGIOUS WRITINGS. 
 
 IT is with some hesitancy on the part of friends, that the 
 following extracts are permitted to occupy a place in this 
 volume. They were written exclusively for the benefit of 
 the individual who penned them, and are a record of her 
 views and feelings on the subject of religion, with notices 
 of such facts and events as interested her at the time, to 
 gether with the effect which these had on her religious 
 character. They are selected from a journal which she 
 commenced in January, 1841, and closed in June, 1843, 
 just before leaving home for her residence in the East. 
 
 There are those to whom it appears to be a species of 
 sacrilege to expose to the scrutiny of others the private 
 religious exercises of an individual. It will be seen that 
 the manuscript from which these extracts are made, is not 
 exclusively of this character. If it were, this would not 
 constitute the only ground of hesitancy. A difficulty is 
 felt in making from the mass such selections as shall ex 
 hibit her character in its true light. The objections against 
 keeping a record of the daily religious exercises of the 
 heart, or rather against exposing this record to the scrutiny 
 of others after the death of the individual who kept it, 
 might, it is thought, be made against any thing which 
 should cause the light of the Christian to shine before men 
 in this dark world. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 To make such a record useful to others, it is indispensa 
 ble that it accord with the traits of Christian experience 
 delineated in the New Testament ; and also that there be 
 nothing in the life strikingly at variance with such a 
 record. 
 
 Mary is known to have carried her religion into every 
 thing. Her Christian experience was not suffered to lie 
 dormant within, an inoperative principle, confined to her 
 self and useless to others ; but it was as a perennial spring, 
 overflowing in its fullness, and fertilizing all around. 
 From the moment, when in her joy at having " found God," 
 she exclaimed, " I am happy," it was her constant, uni 
 form, and untiring effort, to lead others to a participation 
 in the same happiness with herself. 
 
 Her religion also was the religion of the Bible. Its 
 sterner doctrines, as well as its milder precepts, were allowed 
 to have their full influence over her. She took it, and not 
 the maxims of the world, for her guide. It was a " lamp 
 to her feet and a light to brer path," and by it she has no 
 doubt been led to find her home in heaven. But like all 
 other Christians, she was but imperfectly sanctified, and 
 many and severe were her inward struggles, in her at 
 tempts to lead a consistent Christian life. 
 
 She had a buoyancy of spirit and depth of sympathy 
 which extended to every living thing, and those traits, 
 with others of a kindred nature, fitted her to enjoy life in a 
 high degree. But while they made her more interesting 
 as a friend and more useful as a Christian, they at the 
 same time constituted the principal sources of her trial ; 
 and it was through these mainly, that the discipline came, 
 which fitted her so well for usefulness in life, and for a 
 participation in the joys of the redeemed. 
 
 As she never separated religion from the active duties 
 and daily enjoyments of life, so in her private journal she 
 
 7* 
 
78 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 has not disconnected these; but while it contains a faithful 
 record of her religious views and feelings, it gives them in 
 connection with the objects and events by which she was 
 influenced in her intercourse with the world around her. 
 
 But before making extracts from the journal, it may not 
 be inappropriate to take a brief notice of her earlier reli 
 gious writings. How early she commenced the practice 
 of committing things to writing for a religious use, is not 
 certainly known ; but it was before she felt competent to 
 originate thoughts for this purpose herself, and she there 
 fore made use of the suggestions of others. The selec 
 tions were her own, and they show a discrimination which 
 is rather unusual in one so young as she was when they 
 were made. 
 
 At the commencement of a manuscript which was found 
 after her death, amongst several others of a similar charac 
 ter, is this sentence: "I must remember every day I live 
 that 1 have a God to glorify a soul to save." 
 
 In the same trembling and unformed hand, were copied 
 with slight alterations, several resolutions of President 
 Edwards. On reading these the first time they met the 
 eye after her death, they seemed to be an epitome of her 
 life, and on this account they are copied here. 
 
 1. Resolved never to lose one moment of time, but 
 spend it in the most profitable way I can. 
 
 2. Resolved never to do any thing I should be afraid to 
 do were it the last hour of my life. 
 
 3. Resolved to think much on all occasions of my dying. 
 
 4. Resolved to find out fit objects of my charity. 
 
 5. Resolved never to do any thing out of revenge. 
 
 6. Resolved that I will so live as I shall wish I had 
 done when I come to die. 
 
 7. Resolved to maintain strict temperance in eating and 
 drinking. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 79 
 
 8 Resolved never to do any thing wliich if I should see 
 in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him 
 for, or to think any way the more meanly of him. 
 
 9. Resolved whenever I do an evil action, to trace it 
 back till I come to the original cause, and then carefully 
 endeavor to do so no more. 
 
 10. Resolved to study the Scriptures so constantly and 
 frequently that I may plainly perceive myself to grow in 
 the knowledge of the same. 
 
 1 1. Resolved never to speak in narrations, any thing but 
 the pure and simple truth. 
 
 12. Resolved to strive to my utmost every week to be 
 brought higher in religion than I was the week before. 
 
 13. Resolved never to speak evil of any person except 
 some particular good call for it. 
 
 14. Resolved never to give over, or in the least to slacken 
 my fight against my corruptions, however unsuccessful 
 I may be. 
 
 The foregoing selections are without date, as indeed is 
 the manuscript fipm which they were taken, but the hand 
 and other circumstances show them to have been written 
 somewhere near the time when she was ten years old. 
 The manuscript appears to have been filled up very slowly, 
 and a considerable improvement is seen in the hand wri 
 ting and in the Christian character also, as it goes on, or 
 rather there is a more full development of character, both 
 intellectual and moral : but it was not until she was thir 
 teen years old, that she began to date what she wrote. 
 Her first date, in connection with the fact recorded with 
 it, marks a somewhat interesting transaction. On the last 
 page of the manuscript alluded to, in a fair open hand, and 
 standing out prominently so as to prevent the possibility of 
 its escaping the eye of her who penned it, is the following 
 pledge. 
 
80 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 "Oct. 19, 1834. I promised that I would read with 
 Miss Chester, my Sunday School Teacher, a chapter every 
 day, beginning at the 7th chapter of Matthew. 
 
 MARY E. HAWES." 
 
 This promise she doubtless kept for several years, as she 
 often alluded to passages which she was reading in con 
 nection with her teacher, and as she had a similar exercise 
 with her own pupils after she became a teacher herself. 
 
 As will be seen, she was in the habit of reviewing the 
 year which had just closed, on each successive birth-day. 
 She also did the same at New- Year s ; and before each 
 communion season she kept a day of fasting and self ex 
 amination preparatory to coming to that holy ordinance. 
 
 The first extract will be made from a review on the day 
 she was twenty years old. 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 1841. April 16th. My birth-day! This beautiful sunny 
 spring day makes me twenty years old. Oh, how many 
 are the thoughts which have passed through my mind 
 to-day ! The past has been here, and I have stretched 
 my eye to the dim future, as I seem to stand on a 
 mountain in my life, and look back on sunny, lovely child 
 hood, and on my youthful days, half sun, half shade. Oh, 
 how many quiet birth-days have I spent in my much 
 loved home. 
 
 Blessings have been strewed thick around my path ; 
 ever strewed around ! Dear, dear home ! Friends, much 
 loved parents, religious influences of the purest and holiest 
 kind ! New England is my birth place. Here, in the 
 Pilgrim s land, I have ever lived. I do thank Thee, O, 
 my Father, for these thrice blessed privileges. 
 
 There is no pageantry nor royal state around my path. 
 There is nothing which the world calls noble or great in 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 81 
 
 this peaceful home ; but there is what is infinitely dearer 
 to me, the influence of piety to draw me to the skies ; to 
 point me away from this poor fading world, to mansions 
 in Heaven for those who love Christ and His cause. I 
 know I am thankful for this, and thankful that so few of 
 earth s temptations are around my way, for O, I have a 
 weak heart, and should have been utterly ruined, had my 
 lot been differently cast. 
 
 The past year has been very eventful ; the most so of 
 my life. I dare not look forward to what another year 
 may bring. I will trust Him who has so far guided my 
 steps. I will place my hand and heart in His care. Why 
 should I fear? Oh yes, the past year has been very 
 eventful indeed. I have had many more thoughts than 
 ever before on every subject, but particularly on religion. 
 And I can humbly say, I do think that this birth-day finds 
 me farther on my course than the last. There is so much 
 sin in my heart that 1 wonder at myself for allowing that I 
 have any hope, but when I look back at the past year, 
 and watch the workings of my own mind, there does seem 
 to me a great change in my feelings. My views of duty 
 are clearer, and my love of duty stronger. Jesus is my 
 hope and trust, and I think that religion is my daily com 
 panion. 
 
 I have had many thoughts on religious subjects all the 
 time have been agitating some question of duty, or watch 
 ing some sin which has crept into my heart and wound it 
 self tightly around my life ; and I have had days of mourn 
 ing because I could not be free from it. I think I have had 
 much religious enjoyment. It seems as though light has 
 been gradually let into my mind, and did I not painfully 
 feel the deceitfulness of the heart, should feel willing to 
 say that an advance does seem to have been made in my 
 
82 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 views of every thing connected with God. and the Saviour 
 and His cause. 
 
 About commencement time, I went to New Haven, and 
 though I passed through many dissipating scenes, I had 
 all the time such a fear of losing myself in them, and of 
 giving way to my worldly feelings, that it did not injure 
 me as much as I feared it would. The week after my re 
 turn home I count among my most delightful weeks. I 
 had much time alone, and thought I profited by it. From 
 that time my heart was turned more to Christ. 
 
 One night during the autumn I remember returning 
 from a party, where the evening had been closed with 
 singing and prayer, and as I laid my head on the pillow. I 
 felt happy. It was the only party I- ever returned from 
 feeling better than when I went, and there was nothing of 
 the feverish excitement I had at other times. It does re 
 quire a great share of grace to attend parties and keep 
 piety warm in the heart. 
 
 The latter part of December I had many perplexities. 
 I then passed through a trying season. My wicked heart 
 rose up within me, and there seemed no comfort any where. 
 I felt as though I had no right to call myself a Christian, 
 and I went to work as if I were not one. The fast on the 
 2d of New Year set me on a little better footing. I thought 
 that my star of hope was beginning to rise, and though the 
 clouds have come over often since, it does seem to grow 
 brighter. My tract district afforded opportunities for doing 
 good, and when the revival commenced I did welcome it 
 with an open heart. Since then I have passed many 
 pleasant hours. Mr. K. s sermons to Christians I think I 
 derived much good from. My dear - - can sympa 
 thize with me now on religious subjects ; and my inter 
 course with all my dear friends is such as to raise my 
 grovelling heart above this world s delusive excitements. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 83 
 
 It was during the midst of the revival that I was called 
 upon to consider a deeply interesting subject, which ever 
 since has absorbed my attention, and agitated me with a 
 thousand hopes and fears. I can trust all in the hands of 
 a merciful Saviour, who has thus far guided me, though in 
 a way I knew not. When I look back on the events of 
 my past life, how plainly can I see the hand of God in 
 every thing! He, who has guided me, will still guide, 
 and strengthen me to give up all for Him. I know that as 
 thy day, so shall thy strength be, is a sure promise, and 
 yesterday, while looking round on my home, and my heart 
 was ready to burst at what would probably come in the 
 course of events, and while thinking of my precious friends, 
 and many, many blessings, I could lay all in my Saviour s 
 hand, and let Him dispose of them as He pleases. I do 
 say, " not my will, but thine, O God, be done." And 
 while I yield up all to Him, my only desire is to become 
 wholly His, and be free from sin. 
 
 TO c. c. 
 HARTFORD, April 16M, 1841. 
 
 " I have been hoping all day, dear C., to find time to 
 write, and think I have fairly secured one half-hour at 
 least, for a little talk with you. 
 
 You do not know this is my birth-day. Twenty years 
 of my life have passed happily, very happily oh, I dare 
 not look forward. To-day, my thoughts have been half 
 shaded by the uncertain future, and while I have counted 
 over the many happy birth-days which have come and gone, 
 in this my much loved home, I shrink from what the return 
 of this day may bring me. Twenty years ! Oh, C., you too 
 have passed them. Can it be that we have bidden adieu 
 to sunny childhood, and are already surrounded with the 
 bewilderment, and bustle, and whirl of life ? Yes, we 
 
84 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 must be borne on by its billows, till death lands us in a 
 world of real existence. I was much interested recently 
 in a sermon of Dr. Cox s, in which he said that here we 
 did not live, we only half existed ; the other world was to 
 be the scene of our true and perfect existence. The truth 
 of this comes home to my heart every day I live. I never 
 gaze on this earth, lovely and winning as it is, I never 
 listen to the melodies of music, without feeling what is 
 nearly akin to it, the want of perfection here. We have 
 each of us, dear C., though in different ways, been led to 
 look to another life, for the development of our being, and 
 happy will it be for us, if these early lessons remain as a 
 talisman to guard us against the many syren voices of this 
 world. O, never, amidst the excitement of life, may we 
 lose the thought of our higher existence. 
 
 When passing, an hour since, by an open window 
 through which the south wind blew very fresh, I fancied 
 it bore the fragrance of spring blossoms, and for a moment, 
 May, with all its lovely verdure and opening buds, passed 
 before me ; and the vision brought many thoughts of last 
 year. I must live to-day in the past, for I seem standing 
 on one of the mountains of my life, and sunny days of 
 infancy are far behind me, with the half cloud, half sun 
 shine period of youth still nearer, from which I have just 
 emerged ; and now, sober and even solemn seems the hue 
 of my coming being. There are some things in my life, 
 which make me look upon it with very different feelings 
 from what I regarded it, when gazing a few years since, in 
 all the buoyancy of youthful gladness, on coming sunny 
 days, in which even the clouds should be of brilliant hues. 
 I do feel, my dear friend, that this life is a deeply solemn 
 concern. Tis not a merely checkered day, now sun, now 
 shade, but viewed in the light of eternity, it is a period 
 awfullv solemn, upon which depend consequences of thr. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 85 
 
 deepest moment. O, how could we ever dream, my friend ? 
 How could we linger mid the fairy lands of earthly fasci 
 nation, and waste so much of our precious time in beauti 
 ful reveries, and entrancing theories, while the preparation 
 for a world of realities was almost neglected ? Let us 
 thank God, if indeed we are awakened, and begin with 
 hearts strong in the strength of our Saviour, to press on 
 ward in our way to the portals of eternal life. 
 
 In our little circle are some mourners, but each of them 
 can say that the afflictions from the hand of their Heavenly 
 Father have been blessed, in drawing away their hearts 
 from this world s good, and leading them to drink at that 
 fountain where eternal life flows full and free. When we 
 see them coming to our quiet gatherings, they who, not a 
 year since, moved in the giddy mazes of the dance, and 
 knelt at the altar of this world s allurement, when their 
 voices mingle with ours in the songs of a holier world, and 
 when we kneel together round the throne of grace, we 
 cannot but send up our thanksgivings, that their trials 
 have taught them the lessons of true religion, and true 
 happiness. Oh, my friend, the blessings from our Heav 
 enly Father s hand have rilled us with gratitude so many 
 that we love are now safe in the fold of Christ, travelling 
 with us to the promised land." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 Sabbath evening, April 18. Herein my quiet seat, I can 
 again spend a pleasant hour alone, with the beautiful blue 
 sky without, and the sunlight on the distant hills. There 
 is something so tranquilizing in such a sky that my feel 
 ings are perfectly indescribable while I gaze upon it. Now 
 while I write, there are a few light clouds which add to 
 its beauty, and they are bright with the rays of the sun. 
 Oh. how lovely is this earth ! Even under the curse it is 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 full of beauty. But I do not count this tranquilizing feel 
 ing as religion. Oh. no. I well know that many may ex 
 perience the same, and yet have hearts full of corruption 
 and at enmity with that glorious Being who made all 
 things. A natural religion never would do for me. I 
 must be able to call my God a reconciled Father in Christ, 
 before I can hold any true communion with Him in His 
 works. But I do love his works, and I humbly hope that 
 I have loved them lately more because they are from his 
 hand, and that I have in some measure, 
 
 " Look d through nature up to nature s God." 
 
 I know the heart is deceitful above all things, yet it is 
 my endeavor to be free from sin in every thing, and to 
 make every thing a means of advancement in holiness. 
 I have, alas, many drawbacks. If it were not for this 
 Saviour, " who can be touched with the feeling of our in 
 firmities," I should sink in despair. My desire is to be 
 wholly renewed. Some things I read this morning in Miss 
 Fry s " Christ our Example," startled me very much, and 
 I only found peace by praying to the Saviour to lead me 
 in the right way. 
 
 Monday, \9lh. While at our devotions this morning, 
 the notes of a robin broke on the still morning air. These 
 early birds of spring, what lessons of piety they are teach 
 ing us ! All nature smiles around. The hills sleep peace 
 fully in the distant sunshine, and the blue vault of heaven 
 is clear and cloudless, and I am happy but it is a subdued 
 happiness. I do not think I shall ever again feel the light- 
 hearted buoyancy of youth, or be free and careless again. 
 But I am happy in the thought of doing my Heavenly 
 Father s will, and in trusting my Saviour to lead me into 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 87 
 
 the path of holiness, and far from those sins which make 
 me at times so wretched. Christ strengthens me for every 
 duty. 
 
 Evening. Had a gleam of sunshine come across my 
 heart. I felt happy in obeying God, and it left a sweet 
 peace in my heart all the evening. 
 
 Tuesday. This afternoon one of my little S. S. scholars 
 came down, and I had a sweet talk with her about prayer, 
 and told her also about my own dear teacher, Mrs. Hovey, 
 and how we always kept the Sabbath twilight as an hour 
 of prayer. It is many a long year since she first proposed 
 our meeting at that time around our Father s throne, to re 
 member each other in our petitions, and it has become the 
 most hallowed and interesting hour to me of the whole 
 week. It is a precious link to bind our hearts, and more 
 precious now that our teacher is in heaven. I proposed 
 that now, as my dear little M. was so soon to be separated 
 from me, that she should remember the hour, and thus we 
 should still be joined in heart around the mercy-seat. Six 
 months intercourse with this dear little girl, in my class, 
 has twined our hearts closely together, and I have hope 
 that she is a child of God. 
 
 Thursday. Our cook is sick, and I have spent all the 
 morning in looking round for another, but returned without 
 having obtained one, and went into the kitchen myself. In 
 the midst of my work came a precious package from New 
 Haven a little note with an exquisite cushion for a birth 
 day gift, and a long letter from dear Mrs. Fitch, very, 
 very good ; but it made me cry hard, and then I prayed for 
 strength. All the day I have been looking to that Saviour, 
 who is able to keep from falling them that trust in Him, 
 
88 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and then at rny own dark heart, so full of sin, so drawn to 
 this world, that I fear I shall never be able to break away 
 from its enticements, and make an unreserved consecration 
 of rny all to Him. 
 
 In the afternoon was refreshed by our prayer meeting, 
 arid sweet Christian intercourse. These bonds will never 
 be sundered. When separated, we can still meet around 
 our Father s throne, and know that the same eternal homo 
 awaits us. 
 
 O, my Saviour, help me to dwell in the light of thy 
 countenance ; to know no will but thine ; and to feel happy 
 in yielding all to thy blessed control. 
 
 Katurday, 24/A. I have just returned from the funeral so 
 lemnities of the lamented Harrison. At an early hour this 
 morning, the sable robing of the streets commenced. Flags 
 in the harbor were at half mast, mourning wreaths were 
 around the tower of the Centre Church, and wherever we 
 turned, the appropriate signs of sorrow met our eye. They 
 who, but a month since, rejoiced in the elevation of so good 
 a man to the presidential chair, now appeared in mourning 
 badges among their respective societies. There was some 
 thing deeply solemn in the sombre light cast on the mourn 
 ing robes of the church. The speaker s voice seemed to 
 corne from a sepulchre of black. 
 
 Wednesday, l /t&th. This is indeed a glorious morning 
 bright with sunlight, arid joyous with birds. O, for a 
 heart as full of light as this clear, lovely day ! But I am 
 happier than I have been. There is a peace stealing over 
 my rnind every day. Is it of heaven ? I pray that I may 
 be searched, and that the Spirit may dwell in this <\.xk 
 heart, and the selfishness within be scattered before ita 
 
MRS. MARY K. VAN LRNNEP. 
 
 gentle influence. Will not this prayer be accepted for 
 Jesus sake? 
 
 Went in last evening to the s . Found the girls 
 
 preparing to go to E s wedding. As I stood in the 
 
 room, watching the making of their toilette, the thought, 
 that for me, all these scenes were passing away, and that 
 a time would come when I should leave alt, all, filled my 
 heart with mingled emotions. The parties I regret not at 
 all ; but the social intercourse will go on, friend will meet 
 friend, and the ocean will roll between me and my own 
 home. Yet I was peaceful, and had many sweet thoughts 
 alone, after my return home. A power not my own, kept 
 wrong feelings from arising in my heart. 1 
 
 " Friday, 30th. To-day has been, I hope, profitable to 
 me. I have spent it as a day of fasting and examination of 
 heart, before coming to the table of the Lord. I have been 
 looking over the past two months, and think I have been 
 gaining strength and a little light, since the last sacrament. 
 Comparing my feelings with what they then were, I cer 
 tainly do see an advance. At that time, I felt great trust 
 and confidence in my Saviour ; I felt happy also that he 
 was so fitted to be a Saviour to all who put their trust in 
 him. But in thinking of God, I felt almost afraid to think 
 of his sympathizing with us ; he seemed so vast, and glo 
 rious. My views of him then, were very indistinct. lint 
 they have for some time been expanding ; and now, the 
 thought that this great Being is my reconciled Father in 
 Christ, is delightful, and the thought of doing his will en 
 tirely, is, I humbly hope, the happiness of my life. If I am 
 not deceived, I do turn away from every earthly thing, and 
 make the will of my Father my chief joy ; and I humbly 
 trust that I could be happy in it, though all my earthly 
 sources were taken away. 
 
 8* 
 
90 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Last night, while here by my window, I had such sweet 
 thoughts, that I felt constrained to say to myself, yes, I 
 am a Christian ; and it made the tears come very fast, to 
 think with any certainty, this may be true ; for all my life 
 long I have feared to admit any degree of hope to my soul. 
 But I do think I love God my Father, and Jesus my Saviour, 
 and I do open my heart to the influences of the Spirit. It 
 does seem to me that this hope is gaining strength. 
 
 I am sure I love God, and do really wish to do his will 
 in every thing, and do approve the gospel plan of salvation, 
 and feel earnestly desirous that every selfish and sinful 
 feeling may be taken away, and that every one may know 
 and love and obey God. 
 
 My views, too, have changed in regard to enjoying na 
 ture, and the various gifts around me. I do not have that 
 same unsatisfied feeling while gazing on the lovely earth. 
 My soul seems to rest in the thought that my Father forms 
 every beauty ; and I do not look around with that painful 
 desire I once felt, to have something fill a void which I 
 knew was in my heart, while I enjoy nature more and more 
 every day." 
 
 " Sabbath morning, May 2d. This holy, blessed morning 
 shines with sweet light on every thing within and around. 
 1 have enjoyed a quiet hour in meditation on my Father s 
 goodness, and on the blessedness of his service, and of trust 
 ing him. The birds are praising God, and my heart feels 
 like bursting forth in songs of joy. O, this lovely world, 
 what would it be if the smile of God rested on all hearts. 
 This beautiful morning, dear - - is to profess her love 
 to Christ, and many dear companions are coming forward 
 to take the vows of God upon them. How good is our 
 Saviour ! Should the clouds come over the natural earth, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 91 
 
 as in these changing days they do so often, yet will the 
 Sun of Righteousness remain to cheer our hearts." 
 
 TO HER FRIEND, M. S. 
 
 Sabbath morning, May %d. 
 
 " My dear M. I could not think of coming to Sabbath 
 School, without bringing you a little note. How lovely 
 every thing is full of the beams of divine love and what 
 gushings of melody come in the songs of the happy birds ! 
 Do they not find responses in our hearts, my friend ? Never 
 did I feel my heart leap in joy as it does this morning. O, 
 M., is it not delightful to live in the service of so good a 
 being as our reconciled Father in Christ ? Is it not good 
 to yield all to his blessed control, and know no will but his ? 
 Surely there is more blessedness in doing his will, than 
 in any thing else that this life can yield us. If the few 
 scattering joys which have entered our benighted hearts here, 
 make us so happy, what must the full glory of that life 
 be, where no sin can obstruct the gushings of peace and 
 joy ! I write unconnectedly, dear M., for my heart is so full 
 I cannot give expression to what I would say. I never 
 thought that I could be so peaceful in the service of God, 
 nor have such a sweet, tranquil frame of mind, as I have 
 enjoyed for a few days past. Now I give up every doubt 
 and fear, and trusting only in my Saviour, am willing, I 
 humbly hope, to do all he appoints. Dear M., I did not 
 mean to occupy this note with my own feelings, but they 
 would come out. O, to sing praises to our Saviour ! He 
 who has redeemed us from our sins, and given to us the 
 hope of eternal life ! But the bell rings, and I must close." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 u Seven o clock, P. M. I must note down what a sweet, 
 composed, happy day I have had. It was indeed sweet to 
 
92 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 come with so many dear friends to Christ s table. I can 
 truly say that it has been one of my most peaceful days. 
 All is given up to God, and my heart does humbly rest in 
 him, and trust in that Saviour who will never leave nor 
 forsake those who come to him. I have abundant reason 
 to trust him. Yes, O yes ; and my heart is grateful ; of 
 this I am certain and though the clouds corne over my 
 soul, and sins perplex and distress, and though trials press 
 on every side, yet can I say my heart is fixed, and I will 
 trust him forever." 
 
 " Sabbath, May 3th. This is a morning for devout 
 praise. Surely, grateful incense should ascend from every 
 heart to-day. I love to think that while I sit at my win 
 dow, and drink in the varied beauties of this lovely hour, 
 there are many, in their quiet rooms, who now are sending 
 up to heaven the glad thanksgiving of hearts full of love 
 to God. All nature is teeming with life and joy, and 
 thrice happy are they whose minds are attuned to partici 
 pate in the gladness of gushing melody from bird and bee. 
 Again the sunlight lies on the fresh green grass and gentle 
 hillside, and the blossoms smile in the light of this glorious 
 morning, and the notes of the sweet robin meet my ear. 
 I love all, more and more, every day, and humbly hope I 
 love and adore the Father of all. I think as my love of 
 heavenly things increases, so also does my love of this 
 beautiful creation. 
 
 There was formerly, when I drank in the beauty of 
 nature, such an under current of sadness, whence it came 
 I know not, and such a feeling of oppression, as if so much 
 beauty were painful, that my saddest hours were, when 
 gazing on scenes like this before me. It was an unsatis 
 fied mind, looking in vain for something to fill the void ; 
 and I did not then realize, as I do now, that it was a sense 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 93 
 
 of God s love that was wanting. I thought the feeling 
 constitutional, for as it was in nature, so it was in every 
 thing else that I enjoyed ; it awoke the same minor chords 
 to vibrate in my heart. It is not all gone now, but it is so 
 far diminished, that a sweet peace comes over my mind, 
 and a little season alone, where nature smiles, draws my 
 heart right to God ; and I go away satisfied and tranquil. 
 I feel happy, this morning, to leave myself and my dear 
 friends, all in God s hands. There is mercy through Christ. 
 We can trust this good Saviour." 
 
 "Noon. It is a sweet Sabbath noon-tide, quiet and 
 warm, and the bees are lulling us with their hum around 
 the fragrant cherry blossoms, and the clear liquid notes of 
 a bird, break now and then on the stillness. 
 
 This morning, my father went to the Sunday School. 
 After opening it with prayer, he made a few remarks, at 
 the close of which he spoke of the book which was ever 
 open to our view, reading us lessons of love and truth from 
 its beautiful pages. C.* made me understand that she 
 thought it was the book of nature ; and I was pleased 
 that she knew so readily. My father s prayers, both at 
 Sabbath School, and afterwards at church, were adapted 
 to this lovely spring day. Dear C. is, I trust, a Christian. 
 It is sweet to have one dear child safe in the fold of the 
 Saviour." 
 
 TO E. t 
 
 Sabbath evening, May 9*A, 1841. 
 
 " I hope, my dear E., that this beautiful Sabbath has 
 put many sweet thoughts into your mind, and led you to 
 love our Father in Heaven, with a warm and confiding 
 
 * One of the little girls in her class. 
 
 t A young friend, in whose spiritual welfare she felt a deep interest. 
 
94 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 love. How sweetly the beams of his goodness meet us on 
 every side. Free as the air we breathe, is the love which 
 comes from our God. 
 
 Think, my dear E., that this glorious Being, who made 
 the stars in such countless numbers, who keeps them all 
 in their places, who made the birds, too, and each little 
 insect that flies in the sunlight, and keeps them all, watch 
 ing and guarding them, will also watch over and guard 
 you. Oh, yes, he has a Father s heart, and not one who 
 lifts even a trembling voice to him will he neglect. He 
 listens to the prayer of the most feeble and timid, and the 
 moment a poor wanderer returns to him, he meets him with 
 a Father s blessing. 
 
 Think of that blessed Saviour, who though he was 
 rich, for our sakes became poor. Why did he leave his 
 glorious home, and come to this earth to suffer so long a 
 time, and die in so much agony? Oh, my dear E., we 
 know very well that it was to save us from the misery and 
 the power of sin. He saw us while we were far from God, 
 and in infinite love he came to draw us back to him. Do 
 you know that verse, 
 
 Jesus saw me when a stranger, 
 
 Wand ring from the fold of God, 
 He to save my soul from danger, 
 Interposed his precious blood. 
 
 My dear E., hear the voice of that Saviour calling you to 
 him. Go and give him your heart give him the soul he 
 died to save. He ransomed it from eternal death, not with 
 silver, nor gold, nor the precious things of this world, but 
 with a price infinitely more costly, even the blood which 
 he shed on the cross. 
 
 Will you not give him your whole heart ? And then 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 95 
 
 your Father in Heaven will love you for Jesus sake, and 
 will own you as his dear child. He will guide you safely 
 through this life, and should your way ever become dark, 
 yet his hand will lead you on, and bring you at last to that 
 peaceful home where you will join in singing anthems of 
 praise to him who hath loved us and given himself to die 
 for us. No sin, no sorrow can enter that home. There 
 our Saviour dwells with all his faithful friends. Many 
 are there whom we have known and loved, and he who 
 guided them safely, will also guide us. Let us go, dear E., 
 together, to that promised land. Jesus will lead us through 
 every temptation. Why should we have any fear when 
 we know that God will help us ? Do you know that sweet 
 verse in Isaiah xli. 13 : < I the Lord thy God will hold thy 
 right hand, saying unto thee, fear not ; I will help thee. 
 
 Write me an answer, Dear E., and believe me ever your 
 affectionate friend." 
 
 A delightful response came back to this note, showing 
 that the individual to whom it was addressed, was already 
 beginning to feel an interest in the things of religion. 
 Mary bore this young friend constantly upon her heart, 
 and there was ever after a free interchange between them 
 of thoughts and feelings on the subject of personal reli 
 gion, which was interrupted only by death. 
 
 " Saturday, May 29. O sunshine and fair earth, I 
 say, every time the morning breaks in its freshness. Day 
 and night are telling the same story of love and joy, which, 
 like a gushing fountain, pervades all nature. Morning is 
 for joy and leaping of heart, and evening is for calm and 
 gentle thoughts, but both tell the same tale of a Father in 
 Heaven, ever good and kind. 
 
 Tuesday, May 25, was a delightful day. I was in 
 
96 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Farmington on a visit to C. C. We went at 1 1 o clock, 
 to Mr. N. s, where we passed a lovely time, revelling in 
 wood and ravine, and gathering wild flowers in the glen. 
 It is a paradise on earth. The house and grounds are per 
 fect. And there are sweet, Christian hearts, to enjoy God s 
 rich favors there. When I look at them, and feel how 
 much they are enjoying, there is no heart sickness about it, 
 for I know that the angel of peace has spread his wing 
 over their dwelling, and that the other world will but con 
 tinue and increase their happiness, for its source is in God." 
 
 TO C. C. 
 
 FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, 1841. 
 
 HARTFORD, Tuesday, 3, P. M. 
 
 " Here I am, dear C., at home, and you are again in your 
 school, and the visit to which we looked forward for so 
 many months, is now in the past, and its events are living 
 only in our memories. But it is a sweet visit to remember, 
 and I love to call up each day, and live it over again. 
 There were many things in it, which can furnish fruitful 
 themes for our meditation. I am glad that we spent the 
 time as we did, for though I brought back to Hartford 
 nearly all the difficulties I carried away, yet I returned 
 with a better heart for conquering them, and have already 
 begun to carry into execution some plans for preserving a 
 quiet, trustful spirit. I feel that I am but just awaking 
 from my childhood s dreams ; that I have every thing yet 
 to learn, and all my strength to gain. 
 
 My dear C., I count among my chief blessings, that we 
 are permitted to know each other on earth, and to form a 
 friendship which I hope eternity will only strengthen. In 
 coming years, our paths may be widely separated, and our 
 interchanges of feeling be only few. But it will matter 
 little to us. for we can still pray for each other at our 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 97 
 
 Father s throne, and no distance can ever break the bond 
 which unites us. And while we are steadily pursuing the 
 way our Saviour has marked out, we can look forward to a 
 meeting beyond this life and O, that meeting ! Friend 
 meeting friend, around the throne of God and the Lamb ! 
 There we can all recount the way in which our God has 
 led us. It overwhelms me to think of it. Many an event 
 now unthought of will pass, before that meeting comes. 
 And our characters, too, will not they have changed ? 
 Shall we be the same beings, with hopes, desires, and 
 joys? And shall we recognize each other as friends, who 
 began existence almost together who wept and rejoiced 
 together in youth 1 
 
 June Stk. My dear friend, is there not a perfect luxury 
 in these soft summer days ? How beautiful every thing 
 is! Praise and thanksgiving, gushing forth in one foun 
 tain! and are not our hearts tranquil? I wish we could 
 spend these lovely evenings together. The foliage is more 
 beautiful here than ever before, and the city has looked like 
 a garden, as I have stood by the window and seen it bathed 
 in moonlight. To me, there is something fearfully solemn 
 in a winter moonlight upon a city ; when the din of daily 
 labor has ceased, and a death-like stillness reigns over all 
 the abodes of men when the spires rise to heaven in their 
 lonely majesty, and the rnoon passes calmly on her way, 
 over dwellings which hide aching and weary hearts. 
 But though the solemnity remains in the summer time, yet it 
 is of a softer kind, and not what makes me hold my breach. 
 
 We had a sweet Sabbath twilight. What a relief it is 
 to meet around our Father s throne " 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " Sabbath, June 6th. My dear C. and I, engaged in a 
 sacred promise, to spend the twilight hour in prayer for 
 
 9 
 
98 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 three dear friends. May God hear, and answer, and con 
 tinue to us a praying spirit. The Sabbath twilight is pe 
 culiarly dear. It is my sweetest hour." 
 
 " Wednesday, June 16th. Here, by my own window, I 
 have passed a quiet season, and now in these few moments, 
 I must recall the days that are wanting in my journal. So 
 many and so varied have been the scenes of the past weeks, 
 that I have longed to note them down. Perhaps it is best 
 that I am obliged to hurry them over, lest they assume too 
 much importance in my mind." 
 
 " Sabbath, June 20th. Once more alone in my favorite 
 seat, with a sweet Sabbath to reflect upon. Its hours 
 have passed very calmly, and I love to think of the prayers, 
 and sermons, and of my Sabbath-school class. I have, 
 indeed, many sins to mourn over many wandering thoughts 
 have crept into my mind, and till this weary body of sin is 
 cast off, they will, I fear, ever trouble me. O, I am frail, 
 and sin clings to me ; but I can pray and trust in God. 
 
 These blessed Sabbath services are my life. May I 
 grow by them in every grace ; casting off selfishness, and 
 living to my Father in Heaven. My dear father s sermons 
 and prayers have been refreshing and strengthening to me 5 
 lifting my heart above this world. I started with glad sur 
 prise when he read the closing hymn. I had been think 
 ing of it during the afternoon, as appropriate. Such pleas 
 ant coincidences often occur. My favorite it has long 
 been. Nor eye hath seen nor ear hath heard. 
 
 I have a peace this summer such as I never felt before. 
 There are indeed many things without, which do try me 
 not a little. It is a very eventful season, and will, in all 
 probability, decide the destiny of my life. These passing 
 events bring with them many perplexities and trials, which 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 99 
 
 would weigh me down, if I could not look to God and say, 
 . Thy will be done. I am pondering many things, and 
 there is a ceaseless rush of thought, which sometimes 
 makes my brain almost wild. And then I have so many 
 duties, that rny time is more than occupied and I have 
 sin and selfishness to subdue within, for my heart is reveal 
 ing its dreadful corruptions and 1 have friends to pray for, 
 whose condition weighs on my spirit but in the midst of 
 it all, I think 1 can trust in God, and leave all with him. 
 
 I do hope that I live to do his holy will. It is rny desire 
 ever to wait on him as Father, Saviour and Sanctifier to 
 take every duty as it comes up before me, with an earnest 
 desire to do God s will in it to bear every trial, and enjoy 
 every blessing, in such a manner as will fit me for the other 
 world, whenever God may see fit to call me from this. 
 
 Dear Madam Feller has been here during the last week. 
 It was my privilege to see her a great deal. There is a 
 holy influence constantly around her. It is seen in every 
 glance of her eye, and felt in every tone of her voice. She 
 has given up all to God. and now she wants nothing. May 
 not I have the same self-consecration, and give up all to 
 my Father s blessed service? A vacant seat in the carnage 
 which took Madam F. to Wethersfield, it was my privi 
 lege to occupy. In spite of our different languages, we 
 contrived to understand each other talked with eyes, and 
 any way. Returned home feeling as though I had been in 
 the world of angels, so much of heaven breathes in all 
 that surrounds her." 
 
 " Wednesday, 23d. On Friday, walked out to Mrs. 
 C. s, on the hill. We had been invited there to tea. It 
 was a beautiful evening, and the grounds about the house 
 are uncommonly fine such a profusion of shrubbery, and 
 so many sweet flowers. But I went, inwardly regretting 
 
100 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the loss of my quiet twilight hour ; yet I did spend a far 
 sweeter one, than I should have dared to hope for at home. 
 After tea we walked around, and while I lingered alone, 
 there, beneath the softest blush of a summer sky, and the 
 fading light of day in the west, I passed some of the calm 
 est and most delightful moments I ever spent. My heart 
 could go up silently to the throne of God, and in Jesus 
 name. I could pray for all who were then in my heart. I 
 thought of the lines, 
 
 Or if tis e en denied then 
 In solitude to pray, &cc. 
 
 and particularly of this verse, 
 
 E en then the silent breathing 
 Of the spirit raised above, 
 Will reach that throne of glory 
 Which is mercy, truth and love. " 
 
 FARMINGTON, June 26th. 
 
 u Here, in this lovely village, with the meadow land 
 stretching its green expanse before me, spotted with its 
 deep, dark groves, and the misty mountains lining the 
 horizon here I am, really looking upon it not dreaming 
 of its beauties but here at my dearly loved window in 
 Mr. N. s mansion. Oh, how I should love each tree and 
 hillside, from this window, if it were my own home. I 
 should love to watch each shadow descending from the 
 mountains, and veiling those dark woods. How the whis 
 pering breeze, floating o er these fairy meadows, and bend 
 ing the soft long grass, would speak in its soothing tones 
 to my heart. What a varietj^ of lessons could I learn 
 from every look of nature. I have seen the morning sun 
 bursting forth in a flood of golden light, upon mountain, 
 wood and meadow, until every thing glowed in beauty. 
 And I have seen the sun go quietly to rest, and a sweet 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 101 
 
 dewy stillness gather over hill and valley ; and the stars 
 have looked down in their mild light, and the moon in her 
 calm radiace, has shone on a scene of loveliness, rivaling 
 even the heavens, in its silent glory. I have seen nature 
 here in all her moods, joyous and sad, wild and tranquil, 
 drear and beautiful shadow and sunlight coming and go 
 ing, and it has all spoken with a meaning to my heart. I 
 should love it all too well, this sunshine and fair earth, 
 did I not daily pray that its lessons might point me to the 
 skies. They must not speak again of earth s dreamy, 
 fevered enchantments ; no, these lovely scenes must lead 
 my heart through nature to its God. 
 
 It is two years since I knew this lovely spot, and I have 
 passed many a pleasant hour since then in this dear family. 
 Sweet intercourse I have had with friends here. Charley 
 glads me with his merry frolics. But these quiet moments 
 by my own window, will be my last, for before the sun 
 has gone down I shall be in my own dear home." 
 
 HARTFORD, June 27. 
 
 " Sabbath evening. Again in my own precious home, 
 and though wearied in mind and body, I am thankful fora 
 quiet heart. It has been a very warm, damp day. One 
 of those dreamy days, if I were of a mind to dream, but I 
 am not. O, no. There is too much to be done in this 
 world to leave room for dreams. There is a continual con 
 flict to be carried on with sins a continual watching and 
 striving against them, and need of continued effort, and 
 much earnest prayer for the promotion of holiness in .our 
 world. Surely there is enough to do. Oh, for strength, 
 and the willing mind. God will give both, if we only 
 wait humbly on him." 
 
 " June 28th. While at Farmington, I read Byron. I 
 had many thoughts about reading his works ; but I wished 
 
102 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 to know him, that I might be better able to influence some, 
 who love him, and Moore, and Shiller, too well. I prayed 
 to know what was duty so when dozing time came, after 
 dinner, while all was still, I took down Childe Harold. 
 I read it calmly, for I could do it then once, it would have 
 made my brain wild. There are some glorious things in 
 it ; but through the whole, sweeps the same dark current 
 of thought and feeling. It is fearful to think of his mind 
 enlightened by no ray from heaven ; thrilling only to such 
 themes as are natural to ruined, apostate man, brooding 
 over the dark and troubled scenes of earth, and madly 
 rushing on to ruin, with the wreck of faculties, which, had 
 they been rightly directed, would have elevated him high 
 in the scale of being. I read the first two Cantos, after 
 dinner, and each day after, while all was still at the same 
 hour, I made myself familiar, not only with Childe Harold, 
 but many other of his pieces." 
 
 " Friday, July 2d. I am thankful in the prospect of a 
 few quiet hours, for I need them very much to arrange my 
 scattered thoughts, and know where I am. And first I 
 must take some note of those passing days. 
 
 On Tuesday afternoon. I went with a party to the tower. 
 Had a most lovely time, and enjoyed it more than any other 
 excursion I had made there. I have it all in my memory, 
 for it touched too many chords within, to be soon forgot 
 ten but no words can describe the beauty of the scene. 
 
 Sweet and calm were my thoughts, almost all the time. 
 I felt free, and happy as a bird. Even the dream-like 
 clouds which lay pillowing in the far north, did not awaken 
 the same feelings of sadness they would once have done. 
 The far off hills, so dim and shadowy, and the sky, stoop 
 ing so softly down to meet them, as seen from the tower, 
 almost took away my breath. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 103 
 
 I had a sweet time down by the boat-house, just at sun 
 set. Some had left it, and were walking in other parts of 
 the grounds, and the few who remained were quiet with 
 the gathering repose of nature. I stood alone by the lake, 
 and watched the thick foliage around it, fringed with the 
 last golden light. The waters were sleeping calmly be 
 neath the o ershadowing mountains, and I blessed my 
 Father in Heaven for the beauty there is in our fair earth, 
 and holy thoughts of his love came floating into my mind. 
 I was not troubled with vanity, as I had formerly been on 
 such occasions ; and yet I feel almost afraid to say so, for 
 I know the same selfish feelings remain, yet they do not 
 give me so much trouble, nor occasion, as they once did, 
 such a ceaseless inquietude within. I know, that if I do 
 God s will, that is all that is of importance to me. I am 
 happy for the visitings of such thoughts, for they help me 
 to increase in my desires for others happiness, and to put 
 down that towering selfishness, which has gained such 
 mastery over me. A bright moon lighted our way home, 
 where we found ourselves safe at ten o clock. I thanked 
 God for all my blessings. 
 
 A bright moon all this week has been shining, and I 
 have sat alone a few moments every night, that the calm 
 stillness of all nature might speak holy thoughts to me ; 
 and I have been, I fear, reading the book of nature more 
 than the book of grace. Oh, there will come a dearth to 
 my soul, if I do not awake. 
 
 Next Sabbath is our communion, and my heart is sad to 
 think I have improved so little in these two months. 
 There has been a happy arrangement of things, by which 
 I am able to spend this morning in quiet, for oh, my heart 
 aches, it is so out of order, and I need time to think. I 
 must see where I am. Oh, my Father, wilt thou send thy 
 
104 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Spirit to search me and take away mj sins, that I may 
 renew my covenant with thee, and be truly thy child. 
 
 During the past two months, there has been increasing 
 distractedness, owing to the varied scenes which summer 
 brings. I thought much of this in the spring, and prayed 
 that this spirit of the world might not creep in with the 
 return of warm days of luxury and beauty. 
 
 I feel that I have less of it this season than ever before. 
 It seems less a matter of importance what the world thinks 
 of me, or how I stand in the estimation of those around me 
 in a mere worldly point of view. 
 
 Last summer I pined to mingle more in society, and it 
 made me unhappy to see how much I was shut out from 
 it. It seemed to me that comparatively few cared to make 
 my acquaintance. This mortified my vanity, and I was 
 continually thinking of it, and turning it over in my mind. 
 I could not persuade myself that this sensitiveness was 
 wrong ; for I knew that it was not mere worldly society, 
 nor worldly indulgencies which I desired ; but it was that 
 I might mingle in general society, as the other girls did.* 
 I reasoned thus with myself: If it were for sinful things 
 
 * Several things contributed at the time alluded to, to exclude her somewhat 
 from general society. Among these, the principal was the lateness of the hour 
 when parties broke up. Her father was an advocate for seasonable hours, and 
 was exceedingly annoyed by any irregularities eilher in rising or retiring, which 
 broke in upon family order, or interrupted the regular studies and duties of the. 
 day. The habits of society, in this respect, were at variance with his principles. 
 If she attended parties, therefore, she must do so at the expense of incommoding 
 her father. If she retired from them altogether, she must do so at the risk of 
 losing her friends. This for a time occasioned her much perplexity, and some 
 real suffering. She knew her father had no wish to exclude her from society ; on 
 the contrary, that he chose to have her mingle freely with her young friends, and 
 participate with them in all the appropriate enjoyments of social intercourse. But 
 she quickly found the impracticability of doing this, and at the same time of ac 
 commodating herself to his hours. She therefore made up her mind to retire 
 from late social circles altogether. As a consequence of doing so, she was dropped 
 from the acquaintance and attention of some, and those who sought intercourse 
 with her, were such as truly valued her society and friendship : and precious in 
 deed to her was this choice circle of friends. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 105 
 
 that I pined, it would be wrong, but how could I feel 
 otherwise than sad, when my days passed comparatively 
 in solitude? 
 
 I know that I am fitted to enjoy life, to mingle in all the 
 interchanges of friendship, and to participate in the various 
 scenes which help to form the characters of my friends ; 
 but I now see, that the feelings which I had last summer, 
 were very wrong. I forgot the blessings which God was 
 then showering on my path those sweet blessings which 
 have been mine for years and the things which he with 
 held were not what I needed. They would have drawn 
 away my heart from him. It was best I should be with 
 out them. How foolish and wicked have been those re- 
 pinings ! What blessings I have enjoyed ! The only thing 
 I can weep about now, is my poor improvement of them. 
 My situation is just the one for the improvement of my 
 mind, my heart, and my capacities for usefulness. I 
 have blessings all around, if I only knew how to avail 
 myself of them. I have enjoyed many calm hours alone, 
 and have felt my heart growing better by them, and also by 
 the precious Sabbaths I have had given me. And then I 
 have communion with sweet friends oh, so sweet, that I 
 can only find relief for my happiness, by thanking God for 
 them. Then, I have continued opportunities for useful- 
 jiess. My cup runneth over. What shall I do ? It 
 seems as though my Heavenly Father is leading me to 
 him ; and in every way of love he can devise, is drawing 
 this stubborn, ungrateful, selfish spirit to himself. 
 
 I have no more of society than I had last summer, but I 
 have learned to look for happiness in another channel. 
 And here I am in danger I feel it. I am in danger on 
 many accounts : and first, of being self-satisfied of think 
 ing / have something within that lives without the world s 
 breath. This is being puffed up. I may thank God that 
 
106 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 he gives me grace to do so, but any thing like pride will 
 ruin all peace. I am thankful that I have sources within 
 my heart, of happiness. But here another trouble meets 
 me. I ask myself whence is this happiness ? Comes it 
 from doing God s will ? Does it proceed from a consecra 
 tion to the Saviour ? Or is it from a feeling within, which 
 is merely a kind of poetic religion? A meditative pleas 
 ant communion with natural beauties ? If this be the case, 
 then my peace rests on no safe foundation. Lately I have 
 been troubled about this ; and it requires my serious atten 
 tion. I do not think that my religion is mere poetry, but 
 I fear it may all run away in feeling, without producing 
 any or but little good effect. I must guard against this. 
 
 I have many sins God only knows how many sins of 
 vanity and selfishness, of listlessness, waste of time, and 
 worldly-mindedness sins, too, of unquiet for I feel that 
 everj moment of unrest, that I allow, is a sin. And I 
 could not have believed it possible that I should acknowl 
 edge this. I said, Christian principle does not take away 
 feeling, and so long as we are in a state of discipline, our 
 feelings must be often sad and gloomy and so I sometimes 
 allowed a melancholy to steal over my spirit. But this 
 was wrong, and against the spirit of the Bible. Though 
 I now feel that religion, so far from taking away feeling, 
 only increases it, yet I draw a different conclusion from 
 what I once did. The heart in which the love of God 
 reigns, may feel, and deeply, too, the trials which here come 
 alike to all ; but there will be in the mind of such a person, 
 a peace, which as an anchor to the soul, sure and stead 
 fast, will keep it unmoved amidst assailing temptations. 
 
 I have had during the past two months, many duties, 
 and I have felt all along too hurried to perform them well, 
 and I am resolved to turn over a new leaf, and keep calm. 
 
 I think I have wasted many moments in wandering 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN l.ENNEP. 107 
 
 thoughts during my times of devotion, making these sea 
 sons less profitable than they would otherwise have been. 
 
 I have loved to pray and meditate ; but has it been in 
 a right manner ? In all my feelings, desires and plans, am I 
 sure that the glory of God is my end ? Have I engaged 
 in these for myself, or because I love Jesus, and have con 
 secrated all to him? These are solemn questions, and I 
 will try to answer them candidly to my own heart, and 
 pray for God s blessing, that wherein I sin, the blood of 
 Jesus may cleanse it away, that so I may indeed do the 
 whole will of God. 
 
 I have not enjoyed the same sweet thoughts to-day that 
 I had before the last communion. I have not had that 
 tender spirit but now I pray for it. May the world be 
 far away, and holy things occupy my mind. And now 
 I commit myself to God. May I have a calm Sabbath, 
 and be in a state of preparation for its holy ordinances. 
 May vanity and selfishness be far away, and I entirely de 
 voted to my Father and Saviour." 
 
 " Sabbath noon, July 4th. I have just returned from a 
 sweet season, for which my heart blesses God, my Sav 
 iour. O, these are refreshing seasons in our pilgrimage. 
 They come as gleams to our path, even now, though far 
 from our Father s home. He sends his love to us, and 
 here in this lower world, we may sing the songs of the 
 redeemed. This is a day to be remembered. How sweet, 
 how joyful, to rest my all on Jesus, to lean on him, and 
 know no fear. Here I can praise him only faintly. In 
 that day, when this mortal robe is cast aside, I will raise 
 my voice in a ceaseless song of gratitude * Unto Him 
 who hath loved us, and given himself to die for us. 
 
 Last communion, I prayed that three dear friends might, 
 ere the day should come again, be safe in the fold of Christ. 
 
108 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 That prayer has often been renewed since, and yet this day 
 is here, and finds them still strangers to God. But I know 
 not what may be now passing in their minds. Perhaps 
 some gleam of truth may have entered their hearts, and be 
 secretly at work within them. Jesus has died for them, 
 and I will still pray, that for his sake, they may be made 
 free from sin, and heirs of everlasting life. 
 
 This day, at communion, I thought of four things which 
 deserved special notice, and I resolved to do them during 
 the coming two months. And first of all, to endeavor to 
 keep a heart free from all disquiet, humbly doing God s 
 will, and leaning on the Saviour. Then to converse more 
 on heavenly things with all my friends, particularly those 
 a little younger than myself. Then to continue to pray for 
 the same dear friends who have been on my heart for a long 
 time, and to add one more to the number. And lastly I 
 made a general resolution, to be active in every way of 
 doing good, particularly in my class and tract district." 
 
 "July 11. Morning. Our sweet Sabbath is again here. 
 I have no words for the loveliness of these days. Their 
 beauty refreshes my soul, and leads me to God. Many 
 things have been going on in my inner world the past 
 week, and I have needed much grace to meet its duties, 
 and to overcome this heart of evil, which I bear so contin 
 ually about. O, when shall I be free from this body of 
 sin ? When will the world cease to have power over me ? 
 I thank God, that in the midst of much sin, I have been 
 able to look to him, and my prayers have been answered. 
 But I feel the earthliness of this heart more and more. It 
 is too strong for me ; yet I will trust in God." 
 
 "July 12. Last Monday was the Temperance celebra 
 tion. I sat alone in the orchestra till the procession entered 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 109 
 
 the church. It was truly a grand and interesting sight. 
 In the procession were the different societies of the city. 
 Each wore appropriate badges, and carried beautiful ban 
 ners. There was the Juvenile/ and the Young Men s 
 Society, and the Catholic ; but what interested me 
 most, was the Washington Society to see those rising 
 from the chains of intemperance, and struggling to be free 
 men again." 
 
 " Thursday, [5th. 1 did enjoy yesterday. Had a de 
 lightful ride to the tower through Farmington. Our con 
 versation was quite lively, though not improperly so. All 
 of us were Christians, and in such a party there is always 
 a certain balance, which keeps us from going too far. 
 From Farmington, we went through Avon, to the moun 
 tain. That mountain road, sweeping through those groves, 
 and commanding a view of the valleys beyond, is very fine. 
 There were clouds in the sky but they added a majesty 
 to the scene. The stillness of the lake before the gather 
 ing storm, spread quiet over my heart also. We sat by the 
 shore, and woke the echoes by a few pensive strains, and 
 then the rain came, and we ran for our carriage, which 
 was at some distance ; but we were not much wet. The 
 locusts, which line the avenue to the boat-house, give the 
 grounds quite an eastern look and I always think of the 
 feathery trees, which raise their heads in far-off sunny 
 climes, when I see them. Rode home in a thunder storm. 
 It was not a wild and fearful one, and in our carriage we 
 did not feel it much." 
 
 " Saturday evening, 18th. God has been showing me 
 this vile heart of pride and selfishness, and I have felt 
 humbled by it. May it lead me to make exertions for my 
 friends, not in a spirit of selfishness, but in a true desire for 
 
 10 
 
110 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 God s glory. My only wish with regard to nvyself is, that 
 I may be willing to be nothing, and to have God all. 
 Have had a deeply interesting talk with F., for whom I 
 cease not to pray. Many things have come to my knowl 
 edge about him, and I am hoping and trembling. There 
 will be revelations made on the hills of light, of which we 
 do not now dream; revelations which will show the ever 
 lasting, unchanging love and faithfulness of God our Sav 
 iour, who will not let us go, but will watch over and guide 
 until we are safe in the path of life. I will still pray, and 
 will not cease." 
 
 TO E , 
 
 THE YOUNG FRIEND TO WHOM A NOTE WAS ADDRESSED, MAY 9th. 
 
 July 27th, 1841. 
 
 u I could wish, my dear E., that I had time for many 
 words this morning, for I love to write to you very much. 
 You seem discouraged, my dear girl, because you do not 
 always keep your resolutions. But you must not feel so. 
 Try again try very often, and look to your Saviour, who 
 will certainly help you to overcome every wrong feeling. 
 Oh, do not feel as though you should fail. Is not Jesus 
 Christ stronger than your sins ? Cannot he help you to 
 triumph over them ? What a blessing it is that he has 
 touched your heart with sorrow for them. If you repent, 
 he will take them away, and will make your heart happy, 
 by shedding abroad his love there. 
 
 You ask, dear E., if it was wrong for you to pray about 
 the things you did. Oh, no. Go to your Father in Heaven, 
 and tell him all your feelings, and pray about every sorrow 
 you have, and thank him for every joy, and ask him for 
 what you wish only say just as Jesus did, Thy will be 
 done. Dear E., you cannot please him more than by 
 doing so. Satan and sin, have driven us away from our 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. Ill 
 
 Father, and they would keep us away if they could ; but 
 he calls us to come home to him, and be his dear children, 
 and hold that sweet intercourse with him, which children 
 may. Therefore you may go without fear, and in Jesus 
 name, may lift up your heart to him at all times. And 
 what a blessing ! In our waking hours, and in the quiet 
 night, and when the morning dawns, and when we walk 
 amidst the beautiful scenes of nature, we may lift up our 
 hearts in prayer to that good Being, who is ever near us. 
 
 And now, my dear E., I must close. Often I pray for 
 you, that God would give you strength to go on in the 
 right path. May you never grow weary in well doing, is 
 the prayer of your sincere friend, M." 
 
 TO c. c. 
 HARTFORD, Wednesday evening, July 28, 1841. 
 
 " Dear C. I scarcely know where to begin, among the 
 multiplicity of interesting topics which have accumulated 
 the past weeks. I have thought out many things, and 
 have longed to seize my pen, but; 1 1 blush to say it, I am 
 hurried as ever in this hurrying world. O, if I only accom 
 plished any thing ! But I am going to do two things, and 
 if one was not that I am to spend a week at the sea-side 
 immediately, I should not be writing you in so anti-puritan 
 ical a time as I now am. 
 
 I do thank you ten thousand times for your letter. I 
 would gladly take each separate topic, and tell you of the 
 thoughts it has occasioned. When I return. I shall enjoy 
 writing to you. But you are wondering why I should think 
 of being away just now. It could not be avoided. Miss 
 B., one of Mr. Brace s teachers, is obliged to leave town 
 for a few weeks, and it was impossible to get any one to 
 take her place, and I did consent, though with much fear 
 and trembling, to go into the school during her absence. 
 
1 12 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 As my health is not perfectly equal to it. my friends are 
 going to send me on Friday to the sea-side. I shall return 
 in time to commence my new duties on the second Monday 
 in August. O, C., I dare not speak of it. I did but exist 
 before ; and those long hours in school, teaching Butler 
 and Algebra to girls older than I am ! But it will have an 
 end. If I live through it all, then I will talk about it. 
 
 I have no words to tell you of my joy at the tidings of 
 J. N.* Such an event can only be prayed and rejoiced 
 over with tears of gratitude. Surely we can trust and 
 prajr with assurance now. If I had seen you a day later 
 than Wednesday, I could have told you very much. Per 
 haps I had then too many hopes. Yet I was never so 
 overcome as on that day, with the thought of God s faith 
 ful love to the poor wandering children of this world, seek 
 ing them out, and leading them in paths they know not, till 
 he brings them to that path which conducts safely home. 
 
 Pray, dear C., that my heart may be fixed on the Sav 
 iour that I may listen all the time to the teachings of the 
 Spirit. I dread the water-side for fear of the company; 
 and yet I am looking forward with longing delight to days 
 spent l where the glad sea winds are blowing, and the 
 blue water sweeps its waves among the rocks. I am going 
 to Sachem s Head, which is said to be delightful this sea 
 son. On my return, I shall try to stop a day in New 
 Haven, for my dear J. is going south. I cannot bear to 
 think of her leaving us. But I must look forward now to 
 heaven, as the place where dear friends can enjoy inter 
 course, which must be denied here." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " Sunday evening, August Slh. Here am I again in my 
 own home, with my beloved friends, and by my quiet win- 
 
 * A young friend who had just become a Christian. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 1 13 
 
 dow I am spending these last holy hours of another Sab 
 bath. Another week has past, full of events, and full of 
 subjects for remembrance and prayer. My health is im 
 proved by the jaunt, and my heart is, I trust, somewhat 
 improved by the seasons of devotion I have enjoyed at the 
 1 Head. 
 
 This morning I awoke early, and a strange sadness 
 hanging over me for which I could not account, filled me 
 with perplexity. Have prayed much all day for absent 
 ones, and have been ready to ask how I knew that any of 
 my prayers would be answered. But I will always pray 
 and trust in God. Let not my eye become dim nor my 
 steps grow faint. What I need is perseverance. Help 
 me, O my Saviour, to grow in this grace. I want more 
 enlarged views. I want to act from deep, warm principles 
 of piety in every thing. But I will work yet more hard. 
 I will trust in God for sanctification by the Spirit, and will 
 give up all my interests to Him who docth all things right. 
 May I remember that it is mine to trust and do His will" 
 
 TO M. 
 
 " August 21 st. It was my earnest desire, my precious 
 friend, to answer your letter immediately on its reception, 
 and nothing but the most urgent duties could have pre 
 vented my doing this sooner. How my heart did rejoice 
 in your letter. Dear M., we have both been led, though 
 by different ways, to change our views very much with 
 regard to this life, and the life beyond the grave. Let us 
 praise our God and Father that he has inclined us to look 
 away from ourselves to the interests of his glorious king 
 dom, let us thank Him that he has enabled us to feel 
 that it is a privilege to live only to do His will, by trying 
 to advance the cause of our Saviour, in this ruined world. 
 O mv friend, could we sit down together for an hour, we 
 10* 
 
114 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 should find themes enough for conversation. If this bless 
 ing is denied us here, yet in Heaven we can " Remember 
 all the way that God has led us." When I think of God, 
 and of Jesus, and of the kingdom of holiness which is 
 arising over the ruins of the fall ; when I think of that 
 home, in which all the redeemed of the Lord will at last be 
 gathered together, my heart is too full for words. O, these 
 are themes which awaken overwhelming emotions. Does 
 it not seem, dear M., as though you cannot rejoice enough 
 over the change which has taken place in our hearts 
 that we who were once strangers, are now children of a 
 Father infinite in every perfection that can be conceived ? 
 And when we think of our dear friends, coming back one 
 after another from their wanderings, and received into the 
 kingdom of love and peace, have we not cause for the 
 deepest joy ? 
 
 I am writing, dear M., on the very table we used to 
 gether so long, and in the room we called ours for many a 
 day. Like a dream those days have passed, and still like 
 dreams will the remainder go, but there is a world where 
 existence will be dream-like no longer. There every thing 
 is real, and for that reality I long more and more every day. 
 
 Friday evening, August 27th. You see I write journal 
 fashion, according to my usual plan, dear M., for I cannot 
 command any length of time, as I am at present in school. 
 Miss B. needed a little vacation, and wished me to take her 
 place in the Seminary for a few weeks : so I am installed 
 teacher of eight classes, and though I find it very fatiguing, 
 I like it better than I feared I should. 
 
 My time this summer is passing most delightfully. I 
 think I can call it the happiest in my life. Every day, I 
 have enjoyed as it passed. I often ask myself why I am 
 so happy, and I hope I know the reason ; and that it is 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 1 15 
 
 based on a foundation which the changing pleasures of 
 this world cannot remove. I shrink from presumption, 
 but I feel that I should be grateful for the quiet heart God 
 has given me during the past months ; so that the enjoy 
 ments of life have been gilded by a brightening radiance, 
 and its sorrows robbed of their gloom. 
 
 Were you here this evening, by my side, in this still 
 chamber, which has been the scene of many a long com 
 muning, in the days that are gone, we would talk of all 
 the way through which we have passed, and bless God for 
 that guiding hand which has led us on till now. As we 
 go on in life, how many dark dispensations are cleared up 
 how often is the veil lified from many a mysterious and 
 trying providence ! I bless God that I can trust Him. In 
 all His ways He doeth rightly. And in Heaven, if not 
 here, we shall know the reason for every discipline we 
 receive at our Father s hand. 
 
 When I think of you, my precious sister, I have such 
 yearnings of heart to see you, that I can scarcely be satis 
 fied. O that we might weep together over your sorrows, 
 and rejoice together over the consolations of the precious 
 Gospel. There is comfort there. O, M., I know that you 
 feel it. It is not mere words when you say that God, 
 your Heavenly Father, supports you. I praise him that 
 you know in your own experience what it is to lean on 
 His Almighty arm. No other comfort can compare with 
 this. God only knows how to support the stricken soul. 
 Is it not sweet to look to Him as Father, Saviour and 
 Sanctifier to feel that He is doing all that infinite love 
 and wisdom dictates to trust Him in all His ways I 
 That sweet word trust, yes, it tells all. 
 
 Keep, dear M., that same confiding spirit even to the 
 end, do the will of your Saviour here in this world, and 
 peace and eternal blessedness will be yours. There is 
 
i 16 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 1 no wave of trouble to roll over the spirit once safe in its 
 home. Do you remember the song we used to sing, called 
 the home of the soul? How much more do our hearts 
 how feel the sweetness of looking forward to such a home, 
 than when we sang it in those days when we could not 
 feel our need of it ? It is not till the changes of life show 
 us the emptiness of earthly bliss, that we turn with long 
 ing eyes to that world where our Father and our Saviour 
 dwell. An Infinite Being can alone satisfy our spirits, but 
 there we shall find an overflowing fountain of blessedness. 
 
 You-must not wonder, dear M., that I speak so much of 
 my feelings being changed. No deep affliction like yours 
 has sobered my views of life, and yet those views are so 
 different from what they once were, that I am disposed at 
 times to doubt my personal identity. We are led in differ 
 ent ways to place our trust on what is the only sure foun 
 dation ; and though it be through dark paths, yet the end 
 is bright. 
 
 I rejoice, my precious sister, in the interest you feel in 
 all that concerns the kingdom of our Saviour in this fallen 
 world. We have given ourselves to the cause of Zion. 
 There are our dearest interests, and though we work in 
 different parts, it is the same vineyard. We are beneath 
 the care of the same leader. We are passing to the same 
 gathering place, the gathering place of all the redeemed. 
 There are celestial lands before us. Do not the gleams 
 from the Heavenly Temple come down even now to gild 
 our path ? Cannot we catch some strains from the angel 
 choirs above to cheer us on our course ? It is sweet to join 
 our interests with the interests of the Church of Christ. 
 Let us, dear M., strive to look more and more away from 
 ourselves, that we may feel and labor for the many who 
 are perishing in their sins. I want more of the spirit of 
 Christ, that I may feel for every being upon the face of the 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 117 
 
 earth. Are we not all brethren 1 Is not the soul of each 
 infinitely precious ? O, my friend, if our hearts are touched 
 with compassion for the wanderers from their Father, let 
 us thank God, and do all we can to lead them back. 
 Blessed be His name that we may feel for them, and that 
 our poor labors may receive a blessing. How sweet a priv 
 ilege it is to bear our dear ones to the throne of grace, to 
 supplicate for them pardon and peace ? It is such a relief 
 to pray for them ! For we go to a Saviour who feels for 
 them more deeply and tenderly than we can. 
 
 I long to talk with you of our Saviour s kingdom, and to 
 pray with you for its advancement. When shall it be ? 
 Must we wait till we have cast aside our earthly taberna 
 cle ere we meet again? It will be sweet, M., to join with 
 you in the songs of the redeemed, but I do earnestly desire 
 to bend with you once before the mercy seat, to unite our 
 petitions for the perishing millions who know not God. 
 When will the day come, when the knowledge of the 
 Lord shall fill the whole earth ? When our Saviour shall 
 reign and the whole earth be his ? Why wait the days, 
 the days of Zion s glory ? 
 
 We all love to think of our precious M. Many send 
 love to you, and my dear parents call you their other 
 daughter, and now, my dear sister, I must say farewell for 
 a little time." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " August 27th. I have much strength to gain for my 
 new and varied duties, and I long for the quiet hours it 
 has been mylot to enjoy for the past months. But that 
 sweet season for growth in grace is now broken in upon by 
 my pressing duties, and again I am in the busy world. 
 But I can trust God still. I must call to mind the seasons 
 I have enjoyed, and let their remembrance refresh my 
 spirit while in the whirl of life. 
 
118 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 When I begin to think of God, so many thoughts come 
 that I am overwhelmed, and in my prayers I know not 
 whether to praise or to petition. I have so many blessings 
 it seems as though 1 must thank God all the time, and yet 
 I have need of so many things that I must pray continually. 
 I want every shade of sin to go away from this vile heart. 
 I want every truth in the precious Bible to exert its proper 
 influence over my life. I want to view every thing, both 
 in this world and the other, in its proper light. It is my 
 one great aim to bring my soul into entire conformity with 
 God s holy will ; yet the duty of self denial in some things 
 is not as readily complied with as I could wish, and then 
 I can only go to God and pray for a right spirit. O, it 
 costs me many a hard battle to endeavor to bring my 
 wicked heart right. But my greatest desire, and for it I 
 am willing to put forth any effort, is, to be a true, sincere, 
 active, self-denying Christian. It seems the only pleasant 
 and right way of living. I mourn in secret over my hard, 
 selfish heart ; I pray for forgiveness through Christ, and it 
 does seem as though my path is easier. I have some glim 
 merings of light. I have such sweet thoughts of God, 
 and of Christ, and of the Christian course, that my heart 
 sings often with joy and gratitude. Search me, O God, 
 and try me, and see if there be any wicked way in me. 
 I am afraid of self-deception. 
 
 I am at present engaged in teaching Miss B. s classes in 
 the Seminary. It is very difficult, but I pray for strength, 
 and it is but for a short time. May I fulfil every duty, 
 and do all for God s glory. May I work and pray for the 
 advancement of Christ s blessed Kingdom." 
 
 " September 5th, Sabbath afternoon. I am alone at 
 home, for I am unable to attend to all the public duties of 
 this day. I am once more by my own window, where I 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 1 19 
 
 anticipate a quiet hour in thought of Heaven and of my 
 Saviour. It has been our communion this morning, and 
 we have had a beautiful day for its holy duties, but to me 
 it has not been all peace like the last communion. That 
 was a day more like heaven than any thing I have since 
 had. I have had a weight on my spirit from which it has 
 been hard for me to arise. I am poor and miserable, and 
 yet 1 have looked to Jesus, and some faint gleams have 
 been granted me. I will try to trust and do right, then all 
 will end in peace. 
 
 Since I have been in school, my mind has been so closely 
 occupied that I could not attend to my religious duties as 
 I wished; and themes on which I once dwelt with delight, 
 have escaped too much from my mind. This has dark 
 ened my way. I am so sinful, I need all the help I can 
 have. During the week I have had much excitement, and 
 am worn out with it. I am in a strange state this af 
 ternoon ; perhaps I am not well ; I do very much need sup 
 port from above. But if I trust in God he will give me 
 strength to meet every duty. 
 
 This is a sad account ; but I have written down my 
 feelings, and they are a faithful index to my heart, some 
 times peaceful and again mourning on account of sin. I 
 want to keep this journal to refer to in after years, when, 
 if I live, I shall be far from this home. The events of 
 this summer have been the touchstone to many hidden 
 feelings. The outer world has been calm as usual, but 
 in my inner world what a succession of events and of 
 scenes there has been 1 O, my God, if I might not have 
 looked to Thee, could I have borne this ceaseless rush? 
 I should have sunk, might I not have leaned on the Saviour 
 for aid." 
 
120 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 " September 12th. Sabbath afternoon. Again alone, 
 and better prepared, I hope, to spend my hour than I was 
 last Sabbath. I now feel that I was worn out with ex 
 citement then. I needed to have been quiet and trusted 
 in Christ. Now all is calm and sweet. I can only thank 
 God and say, * here, my Father, take me and do with me 
 as seemeth good in thy sight. I want to keep on in a 
 steady, even course ; but there are continually coming up 
 things which deeply excite me, and never till I reach the 
 other world, do I expect to be free from their influence. 
 There, we shall be able to bear all, but here, joy and sor 
 row wear away the life. 
 
 I am at present in school, and though I love my dear 
 girls very much, yet I find it so fatiguing I shall rejoice 
 when Miss B. comes and I can be released. There will 
 come many duties for this fall and winter, which will re 
 quire strength and calmness of mind, and I must try to 
 keep my heart quiet. 
 
 The American Board are now at Philadelphia, delibera 
 ting what they can do in the present crisis. May our 
 churches be ready to meet it. I pray for strength that I 
 may be ready to give up my all. O, I am very weak, I 
 need to look to Christ for aid in every thing. But I can 
 have a bold heart. I want to have my heart lose its hold 
 on earthly things, and look more at Christ s kingdom. 
 I must use diligently all the means I have for this, and 
 they are very great. I am determined to press on, that so 
 Christ may be formed in me the hope of glory. : 
 
 " Tuesday, \kth. The mists of an autumn evening now 
 hang around the hills and over the trees. The crickets 
 are chirping their songs. I love their voice. There is a 
 loneliness in their notes agreeing well with these fading 
 days. These early autumn days are to me the most glo- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 121 
 
 nous of the year. There is a hallowed influence in the 
 quiet air, and the vault of heaven wears just the hues 
 which tell of a holier clime. It is a time for elevating 
 thoughts. I love these days more than I can tell. I have 
 loved the summer softness and the young spring s breath, 
 and I love autumn too. Oh, this fair earth, so beautiful 
 even in its ruins, how many looks and tones it has to win 
 us up to heaven. Last year my heart was sick at the 
 thought of autumn. The turning leaves made it recoil. 
 It was not so once, but then it made me melancholy to see 
 the trees fading, and the flowers dropping away, and to 
 hear the chill night wind whistling against the casement. 
 I thought continually of Bryant s words on autumn, 
 
 " The melancholy days are come, the saddest of the year, 
 
 Of wailing winds and naked woods, and meadows brown and sere." 
 
 But I thank God, that a year has taught me better les 
 sons. How quickly this summer has passed ! Let me 
 see to it that my days are spent usefully, when they fly so 
 swiftly. To-day I have enjoyed, for I am at work on my 
 own plans. My school days are over, and again I am 
 quiet ; and can command time for my various duties both 
 at home and abroad." 
 
 "Sabbath^ September 19M. Dr. Armstrong of the Amer 
 ican Board is here. He has come in behalf of Mis 
 sions, and though it has been denied me the privilege of 
 hearing him preach, I have prayed that his labors might 
 be blessed. 
 
 I have had a dull day in bodv, but I trust not quite so in 
 mind. Fatigue and excitement have made me nearly use 
 less, but I hope I shall improve as the cold weather re 
 turns. This morning I dozed about all the time, have not 
 been down at all to meals, and dozed till after church time 
 
 11 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 this afternoon, but for a little while I have been up, and 
 read Last hours of Christ, and also some interesting 
 papers of Dr. Armstrong, and I have had sweet thoughts 
 of Jesus and His faithful love. So great ! It is wonderful ! 
 and I so poor and vile. The least thought makes my eyes 
 overflow, for I am weak. I am happy and trusting to 
 night. When I look in, all is indeed very dark and sinful, 
 but I look away to Christ and all is bright, and I pray for 
 my precious ones, and for this whole world that Jesus may 
 reign." 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 SICKNESS AND RECOVERY. 
 
 " Sunday, Oct. \0tk. It is just three weeks since I 
 have written in my journal, and I have looked for the 
 first time this afternoon, upon my lovely hills, by my own 
 dear window. I am writing in my own chamber, where I 
 have passed through a deeply interesting and eventful 
 season ; for I have been brought to the borders of the grave, 
 from which it has pleased God to raise me, so that now I am 
 fast recovering. I have been down stairs for a little while, 
 and have touched again my dear piano. But I am still 
 very weak, and sit in my easy chair very quietly, reading 
 some, and sewing some, but thinking most of the time. 
 And O, I thank God for the sweet thoughts he grants me. 
 
 I can look back on the whole scene, and view it only 
 in the light of a blessing. I had very little suffering 
 principally weakness ; but I was so ill that my parents 
 gave up all hope, and my physicians felt there was scarcely 
 a chance for my recovery. And yet, through the whole, 
 my mind was clear. I knew all which was going on 
 around me, felt my danger, and thought that I should die. 
 It pleased God to give me great calmness, without which 
 it would have been impossible for my disease to have been 
 checked ; for excitement was the thing most feared. I left 
 the event entirely in my Saviour s hand. I trusted all to him, 
 and knew that if it was his will, I should recover ; if not, 
 
124 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 I trusted he would not leave me at the last. It is a mira 
 cle that I am spared. I am filled with wonder! I can 
 only say, Lord, this life I devote all to thee. 
 
 In this room I have passed, and am passing, some most 
 delightful days. I cannot think of the kindness of all my 
 friends, without the greatest wonder. It makes me very 
 humble. I have had one overflowing stream of blessings, 
 ever since the commencement of my illness. All my wants 
 have been anticipated. The kindest friends have been 
 around my bed-side the best care has been taken of me. 
 Every thing that love could devise, has been done. My 
 dear Mrs. Fitch came all the way from New Haven, and 
 took care of me a night and a day. O, my cup has been 
 full of blessings ! The loveliest flowers have bloomed on 
 my table, and the choicest fruits, since I began to recover, 
 have been before me. But this is not the half. 
 
 It has pleased my Heavenly Father to give me a more 
 happy and peaceful spirit than I have ever before enjoyed. 
 I have the sweetest verses and hymns in my memory, and 
 my communings on my bed have been most precious. The 
 dark valley of death, looks not so dark, since I have been 
 so near it, and heaven seems near all the time. 
 
 I have yet many sins over which to mourn, but it seems 
 as though my Saviour permits me to lay rny head on his 
 bosom, and weep over them there, and supplicate grace 
 and pardon for myself and all my dear friends. I love my 
 friends and every body, and every thing, ten thousand times 
 more than I did before. The sun never shone so brightly, 
 nor the moon so peacefully ; and yet I love God, and Jesus, 
 and heaven, as much better. The Bible never seemed half 
 so precious. I can only look to God, and pray him to keep 
 me close under the shadow of his wing, since it seems his 
 will I should live a little longer here. I think this is one 
 of the lessons I needed to learn before entering on my labors 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 125 
 
 in a distant land. Of these I think much. And I have 
 sweet thoughts of my absent friend. I thought of him 
 when I supposed myself dying, and did wish to see him ; 
 but I can trust that all to my Father s care and keeping." 
 
 "Sabbath afternoon, Oct. [7th. I have been longing to 
 go again to church. This is my fifth Sabbath at home ; 
 yet I have enjoyed my Sabbaths at home very much. To 
 day has been uncommonly beautiful. The late frosts have 
 turned the leaves golden and brown. I sat down in the 
 parlor after the people had gone to church, and with the 
 bright sunshine looking down through the fading foliage, I 
 committed the fifteenth chapter of John. I had some sweet 
 thoughts then. I do think I thirst for the streams of holi 
 ness. I fear to mingle again with the world, for my heart 
 will not be so quiet, when its hum is in my ear. O, my 
 God, never let me stray, but make me abide always under 
 the shadow of thy wing. O, my Saviour, preserve me 
 against the first approach of worldliness. I want to think 
 more of my missionary labors, and cultivate such a spirit, 
 as will best prepare me for future usefulness. 
 
 And now, I commit my soul into the hands of my Saviour. 
 I do wish to devote myself and my all to his service. Poor 
 and unworthy as I am, I do love and trust him. 
 
 I am still unable to go out, but I sit in my room, doing 
 various little things ; resuming my duties as my strength 
 will allow, and thanking God for renewing my life so 
 rapidly. I do bless my Father in Heaven, for the precious 
 hours I have had during the past week." 
 
 "Sunday evening, Oct. 24th. I hope my day at home 
 has been profitable. Last evening, had a sweet season of 
 preparation, and then a refreshing sleep prepared me for 
 the day s duties. Have thought much to-day of Jesus 
 
 II* 
 
1 26 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 dying love, and have prayed over my ingratitude. I have 
 not the joyful frame I sometimes have had ; but I am satis 
 fied if I can lay this poor, aching, sinful heart at the feet 
 of Jesus, and know that he will pardon my ingratitude. I 
 can trust him. I do believe on him. I do love him. I do 
 devote my life to his blessed service. May he give me 
 strength to overcome every sinful desire, to renounce every 
 selfish interest. 
 
 I have had many delightful seasons alone this week, but 
 last night when I reviewed it, I was startled to find I had 
 been so remiss in duty. It is of His mercy that I am not 
 consumed. A year since, if I had passed such a week, I 
 should have thought myself well off, and should have 
 praised God for it. But now, though I do thank God for 
 the little light I have, I find so much darkness and corrup 
 tion within, that I can only say, God be merciful to me a 
 sinner. I long to be free from this bondage of sin ; but 
 there is contention in my heart, and evil wars with the 
 good. In the midst of all I pray to Jesus, and there is my 
 comfort. Sometimes I think my selfishness is breaking up, 
 and again some new display, damps my hope. But I will 
 go on, and my weakness will be made strength through 
 Christ. Let me remember all who have struggled, and yet 
 have been borne safely through. Let me remember all that 
 Christ has done for me all that he will do. I can lift up 
 my heart and take courage. 
 
 My Sabbath-school class came to see me on Wednesday. 
 Had a precious season with them. O, may they all be 
 lambs of the fold. M. W.* left on Thursday, and I am 
 indeed lonely. I pray God my true comfort may be found 
 in doing his will ; then I. can look forward to heaven as the 
 place where friendship may be perfected. Dr. Parker, 
 from China, was here on Friday. I was overwhelmed with 
 
 A yxmng lady who had spent several months with Mary. 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 127 
 
 the welcome and benediction he gave me a welcome into 
 the missionary field, and a blessing on my labor. I was 
 ready to sink, and could only pray I might be worthy to 
 receive such high honor." 
 
 " Thursday, Oct. 28th. Yesterday I rode for the first 
 time. The leaves are fast falling, the sky wears its smoky 
 hue it is our Indian summer. While riding, I thanked 
 God that I breathed in the open air once more. These 
 autumn days, to which I looked forward, I have not been 
 able to enjoy in the open air, but I have watched from my 
 window the fading leaves, and the lovely autumn sky, 
 which seems to shed a radiance so like heavenly light. 
 
 I watched for the evening star at twilight, and saw it 
 for the first time this fall. Its gentle light brought thoughts 
 of other days. How I watched that star last winter ! My 
 first twilight musings were, when it was looking down 
 upon me, and seeming to woo my perplexed and troubled 
 heart to Him who is the comfort and guide of all. I bless 
 its light again. It brings hours of peace to my mind 
 hours I shall ever thank God for. I love to dwell on the 
 scenes of last winter. Many a struggle I have had since 
 then, but it does seem, that since that time my course has 
 been onward." 
 
 " Sabbath, October 31 st. This morning, had many pre 
 cious thoughts, and wrote down a short account of the re 
 vival last winter, besides reading a portion in Doddridge. 
 This afternoon, spent the time in prayer, and reading in 
 the Bible some portions of Isaiah, and also the last chap 
 ters of John. Learned the twelfth of Isaiah, a beautiful 
 chapter. I have committed recently, the 14th, 15th and 
 1 6th chapters of John, and like to fix these interesting por 
 tions of Scripture in my memory. I have been free from 
 
128 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 distracting thoughts of any kind to-day. I am thankful 
 for the precious season. 
 
 We are enjoying some of the loveliest days I have ever 
 known in autumn. While looking abroad, the past, with 
 all its deeply interesting events, comes into my mind, and 
 fills it with strange emotions, which I cannot describe. It 
 is neither pain nor pleasure. It is the spirit of the long gone 
 years, and whether to let it come or not, I do not know. 
 O, my Saviour, do thou purify all my feelings, that my 
 soul may be a fit temple for the indwelling of the Holy 
 Spirit. I do earnestly desire, that every thing I feel and do, 
 may prepare me for usefulness in the cause of Him who 
 has loved me and given himself for me. And while I re 
 main in this dear country, may I so live, that I shall be 
 satisfied in reflecting on my course, from a distant land. 
 Jesus, I give my all to thee. May I make thee, alV 
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 FROM A BRIEF SKETCH OF THE REVIVAL IN HER FATHER S CONGREGATION, IN THB 
 WINTER OF 1841, TO WHICH ALLUSION IS MADE IN THE JOURNAL. 
 
 - Sabbath morning, Oct. 31 st, 1841. For a few weeks 
 past, thoughts of that precious season of refreshing, which 
 the Lord mercifully granted us last winter, have been con 
 tinually in my mind. The return of the evening star to its 
 accustomed winter place, has been one among the many 
 circumstances, to call up those blessed days ; for while 
 they were passing, my most delightful hour was, when 
 musing just before service, beneath the light of that one 
 star. Its clear, mild beams seemed to point to the regions 
 of holiness and peace. It was then that I first learned to 
 be truly happy then, that I first felt the true blessedness 
 of the believer s hope.* I welcome its beams again in the 
 
 * Not that she then, for the first time was truly a Christian, but that she took 
 more enlarged views of the Christian s hopes and privileges. See p. 145. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP . 129 
 
 west ; they speak of days which I hope to remember with 
 gratitude, from the distant ages of eternity. 
 
 As my thoughts have been so much of late upon those 
 scenes, it might be profitable for me to put down such 
 sketches as I can recall, depending somewhat on notes 
 taken at the time, but mostly upon my memory, where 
 they are indelibly impressed. The attempt which I made 
 during the progress of the revival to preserve an account 
 of it, failed through my want of time. My health forbids 
 much active labor now, and I think, while detained from 
 the sanctuary, these sacred hours cannot be better employed 
 than by carrying forward what, has been so long neglected, 
 on account of the pressure of other duties. 
 
 The revival of last winter will be remembered with the 
 deepest gratitude by many, and will aid in swelling that 
 song which the redeemed of the Lord shall sing on the 
 hills of Zion. Not only will those remember it whose 
 hearts were then first awakened to the beauties of holiness, 
 but among Christians those days will be as bright spots 
 in the past, like oases in the desert ; for then, their hearts 
 were refreshed by living waters, and their spirits gathered 
 strength for the remainder of their pilgrimage, while dwell 
 ing on the glorious hopes and high privileges, which are 
 the believer s inheritance. We seemed to come out from 
 our dark places, to regions where the mists and vapors were 
 rolled away, and where nothing remained to obstruct the 
 beams of the Sun of Righteousness. The weary distance 
 between us and our Father s throne seemed annihilated, 
 and the portals of the celestial gates already to open upon 
 us. Our hearts rejoiced, and our lips uttered the language 
 of praise ; and love, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost, 
 dwelt in the bosom. Nor did the precious influence of the 
 outpouring of the Spirit pass quickly away, to leave our 
 hearts more dead than before. Throughout the whole of 
 
130 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 this past summer, the gentle dews of divine grace have 
 nourished the plants of piety, and though a few have 
 seemed to lose their zeal, a large number have appeared 
 tender and devout, interested in Christian duties, ready to 
 engage in every good work. 
 
 The revival among the youth particularly, was extensive ; 
 and a large number among these appear truly changed. 
 They are the children and youth in our families, and it is 
 sweet to see them walking in the ways of the Lord. Sixty 
 of them were members of the Sabbath school. At our 
 communion season in May, over one hundred joined our 
 church. That day will long live in our hearts. Though 
 the sun of the natural world -was obscured, the Sun of 
 Righteousness shed his beams around. The emblems of 
 our Saviour s dying love spread out before us. filled our 
 hearts with holy gratitude and peace. Earth and earthly 
 things were far away, and tire glorious things of the king 
 dom of Christ occupied our minds. It was a thrilling hour 
 when those who desired to profess their faith came before 
 the altar and gave themselves to God. We saw them, 
 one by one, take their places in the aisle. Many of those 
 we loved, over whom we had wept and prayed, were there 
 those who were bound to us by the dearest ties of friend 
 ship, stood there to join in a nobler and more enduring bond. 
 Some there were, over whose young heads but a few years 
 had passed they could not be denied the privilege, and 
 they were bidden welcome in the name of the Lord. It 
 was a lovely and grateful company, who gathered for the 
 first time that day, around the table of their risen and glo 
 rified Saviour; andjxmg may the influence of that deeply 
 interesting and sokfnn scene preserve them from wander 
 ing away from the- fold they then so joyfully entered. 
 
 Early in the spring, my father established a Young 
 People s Association, which comprised all the youth of 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 131 
 
 the congregation, who wished to place themselves under 
 his pastoral instruction. These meetings were attnded 
 on Sabbath evening, and they have been exceedingly profit 
 able. All classes have attended them, and our lecture 
 room has been crowded throughout the summer. Every 
 one has loved these meetings, and my father said it was 
 impossible not to have his heart awake, and all his feelings 
 enlisted, to see so many young, bright faces, before him. 
 Those who had any difficulties concerning passages of 
 Scripture, or any questions about duty, wrote them down 
 and cast them into a box at the door, from which my father 
 took them, and from time to time commented on them. 
 Very interesting subjects were in this way discussed. Our 
 hour in those little meetings passed quickly away it was 
 a place very near heaven. The songs of praise in which 
 we all joined, came indeed from the heart. There was one 
 which was quite a favorite with us^ and many a time we 
 sang it standing, just before separating : 
 
 " Welcome, welcome dear Redeemer, 
 
 Welcome to this heart of mine ; 
 Lord, I make a full surrender, 
 
 Every power and thought be thine 1 , 
 
 Thine entirely, 
 Through eternal ages thine." 
 
 TO M. S..* ON HER BIRTH-DAY. 
 
 Nov. 1st, 1841. 
 
 "I could rejoice with you, dear M., and have been 
 happy all day, that your year is opening so beautifully. 
 The skies are smiling upon your birth-day, and may they 
 be the emblem of a brighter sunshine which shall gild 
 your future years, until the light of Heaven s own radiance 
 shall burst upon you. Have we not much to bless our 
 
 * One of her earliest and dearest friends. 
 
132 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Father for? Oh, he is indeed crowning our life with good 
 ness. And this day, dear M., the one of all days to you, is 
 a lovely one in which to recall the past, and look towards 
 the dim future ; dim, indeed, so far as the events of this life 
 are concerned. M., our childhood has passed like a dream. 
 It seems but yesterday, since you and I were playing 
 together with our dolls ; but our dolls died long ago. 
 Those days at the Seminary are more real, and it makes 
 my heart thrill, when any little thing calls them back. 
 Three years have wrought marvelous changes ; and our 
 spirits have been growing older, and already we are know 
 ing what it is to live and act in life s drama. Oh, M., must 
 there be this ceaseless change ! forever passing on in the 
 current of time ; must we go on leaving loved scenes, and 
 treasured events, far, far behind, with memory s picture 
 continually increasing. Well, let it go on, for there will 
 come an end, and we shall pass to another world, more 
 real and enduring. 
 
 The past w r ill speak to-day, dear M., and I know you 
 too are listening to its voices, and these fading leaves be 
 neath so glorious an autumn sky are well in keeping with 
 the spirit of by-gone years. Oh, surely it is well to cast 
 some glances behind, while we are hurrying on, even 
 though the retrospect may bring a shadow over us ; for 
 the past has lessons we may not forget, and its tones are 
 tones of wisdom, if we will but listen to them. 
 
 I would that we could spend this day together, and live 
 over our early years once more ; that we could together 
 bless God for the past, and cast ourselves and all our inter 
 ests, on him who has thus far guided us. Let us give to 
 him our future .years, and then indeed will they pass 
 brightly and -calmly. Our careless days have all gone by ; 
 now we are beginning to think and feel for ourselves. 
 Already have our characters taken the stamp, which in all 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP ) 38 
 
 probability they will bear through life, and through eter 
 nity. Oh, it is a fearful, an overwhelming thought, and 
 yet not more fearful than true. We may change in minor 
 points, M., yet I think the future will alter but little the 
 outline of our characters. Perhaps it may not be so ; and 
 I would that time might bring something beside maturity 
 to mine. There is one thing in which we may hope to be 
 continually changing the conquest over corrupt affections 
 and earthly desires must go on. With us, dear M., I could 
 humbly hope and believe, that it is already commenced, 
 and that a Father s blessing even now is resting on ojir 
 efforts, and a Saviour s hand, leading on in the way. Even 
 now, my dear friend, we can raise the song of gratitude, 
 unto him who hath loved us, and given himself for us ; 
 and the past can furnish material enough for a hymn of 
 praise to-day. We raise it unto that God who called us 
 in our wanderings, who remembered us in our youthful 
 days, and led our feet into the path of life. We look back 
 and rejoice in all the goodness which has crowned our 
 years, and forward with unshrinking hearts, to the untried 
 future, for our God is with us. Oh, M., let us ever trust. 
 
 My heart has been with you all day, and I meant to 
 have written a birth-day note? but I see I must send only 
 an apology for one : and yet if it tells you that I love you, 
 both for the years of friendship which have passed, and for 
 those which I trust are yet before us, and if you make out 
 from it that my earnest wishes are for your increasing hap 
 piness, it will have accomplished in part its object. Oh, 
 many an autumn will bring its glorious hues and fading 
 days, and when with them comes also your birth-day, and 
 the many thoughts it brings, think, dear M., of one early 
 friend, who will always pray for a blessing upon each 
 cherished companion of her youth. 
 
 Ever yours, ML" 
 
 12 
 
134 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 "Nov. 2d. Took a French lesson to-day. A gift of 
 mignonette from my teacher, is filling my room with its 
 fragrance. Yesterday took a lovely ride. Oh, so beauti 
 ful was every thing ! It was M. S. s birth-day. Wrote 
 her a note, and thought much of early days. We are 
 growing old fast. Well, let the years pass, if we are in 
 the way of duty. 
 
 ."Nov. 6th. The blessed Sabbath approaches, and I 
 am expecting to attend the service to-morrow, and come 
 around the table of our Lord, which is to be spread. What 
 a two months this has been ! 1 have an overflowing cup 
 of mercy brought down to the borders of the grave, and 
 now raised again to life and health. May this life, so 
 wonderfully spared, be all devoted to that Saviour who has 
 died for me. 
 
 I have enjoyed, during the last two months, many pre 
 cious seasons of prayer, and have read the Bible with more 
 interest than ever before, and I hope I have improved in a 
 calm and trusting heart. The voice of the world has been 
 in a measure hushed here in my quiet room. But, alas ! 
 my heart is still weak, and now that 1 am no more alone, 
 I find that sin is still striving, and I must watch and pray 
 all the time. O, this spirit of worldliness, how I long to 
 sweep it from my soul. Where should I hide my guilty 
 head, if not at the foot of the cross. 
 
 I have not been to church since the Sunday after my last 
 communion. And now, my Father, and my Saviour, wilt 
 thou pardon all that has offended and grieved thee, during 
 the intervening days, from my last communion season. 
 My heart rises in thanks for thy ten thousand mercies. 
 May I hide myself in the dust, and give all the honor to 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 135 
 
 that Saviour who has loved ma and died for me to whom 
 I surrender my all for time and for eternity, and consecrate 
 myself anew to his blessed service. 
 
 And now may the blessing of God rest upon all who will 
 come around the table of the Lord to-morrow. May it be 
 a day long to be remembered, and in its strength may we 
 go many days." 
 
 " Sabbath afternoon, Nov. 7th. 1 have indeed enjoyed 
 the precious privilege to which I looked earnestly forward. 
 Again I have entered that dear church, and partaken of 
 the emblems of our Saviour s dying love, and have had 
 refreshing thoughts of God, and of Jesus. O, I could utter 
 songs of praise for the sweet peace of thi"j day. I spent 
 an hour of preparation in my room, and went early with 
 my dear mother to church. How delightful it was to go 
 again to the house of God. I do know that it is a pre 
 cious place. My dear father s prayer was indeed elevating, 
 and rny thanksgivings went up with his, for my being per 
 mitted to enter the holy courts again. The sermon was 
 from the text, Unto you who believe he is precious. I 
 did feel comfor:ed by the train of thought, and my two 
 favorite tunes were sung in the morning ; and then at the 
 communion season, my mind was calm and happy. There 
 I renewed my resolution of trusting in Jesus, and keeping 
 a quiet heart ; and thanked him for the calmness I have 
 for the past two months enjoyed. I renewed my resolution 
 of praying for four dear friends, for whom I feel much 
 anxiety. May I persevere in prayer, and never faint. And 
 lastly, I resolved to turn my attention more particularly to 
 my future labors, and to try every day to learn something 
 which will be of use to me in a foreign land. 
 
 And now may Jesus accept these resolutions ; and give 
 
136 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 me grace to keep them, even to the end and whether 
 living or dying, may I be the Lord s. Amen. 
 
 " Four o clock. What a day this has been. This after 
 noon, my dear father preached to the children. I could 
 not go twice, though I wished it very much. So as soon 
 as all were gone, I came to the study window and looked 
 off on the charming hills, so beautiful, so calm in autumn 
 sunshine ! And then the sky so clear, and of so soft a 
 blue ; it led my heart in gratitude to heaven. O, religion 
 is a reality, I said, as I looked on the calm Sabbath scene 
 before me. Jesus does live and reign, and heaven is the 
 home of the Christian. And I have prayed, and rejoiced, 
 and read my bible here by this window, with no sound to 
 break on the stillness. I have been reading in the Prophets 
 of the future glory of Zion, and I have longed to burst the 
 bonds of sin, and to be perfectly holy. Unto thee, O my 
 Saviour, I turn. Hear my humble prayer. May I give my 
 all to Thee, and never turn away from Thee who art my 
 best beloved friend, my hope, my trust, my all. I want 
 nothing else but to abide forever under the shadow of thy 
 wing." 
 
 NEW HAVEN, Nov. 1 1 . 
 
 " Thursday evening. I am enjoying a quiet, delightful 
 visit here. Every thing is lovely ; music and fragrant 
 flowers, and in an adjoining portico, a sweet canary is 
 pouring forth its melodies and books, and above all, the 
 society of one, whose judgment, and taste, and Christian 
 principle, make her friendship invaluable. I feel the bless 
 ing. May God give me grace to improve it. Already I 
 have many valuable hints from her, with reference to my 
 future labors. There are many questions of duty con 
 stantly occurring to my mind. Of one thing, however, I 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 137 
 
 am certain. Whatever tends to perfect character, I must 
 attend to. My great duty is to prepare for the other world, 
 my own soul, and the souls of those over whom I have an 
 influence. 
 
 My motives must be drawn from God s glory, and Jesus 
 love. Oh, these are all-powerful. Vanity and selfishness, 
 my two great sins, I must try hard to overcome. Watch 
 fulness is what I need very much, and I try to cultivate it. 
 A tender and enlightened conscience will be my greatest 
 blessing, for then I shall not be led into any wrong course. 
 And now may God bless all my efforts throughout this 
 day." 
 
 " Saturday evening, Nov. 1 3th. Last week, at this time, 
 I was at home, and passed a sweet evening. May this be 
 equally pleasant and profitable. This week has passed 
 very pleasantly, more quietly even than at home. I can 
 thank God for the happy state of mind I have enjoyed. 
 The holy communion has remained in my memory with a 
 sanctifying influence, and my Heavenly Father has seemed 
 nearer to me than at some times. 
 
 I have this week learned many valuable things about 
 my future course ; and I hope to improve on the hints I get 
 from my dear Mrs. Fitch. Her views of duty, and of this 
 world, are so enlarged, consistent and reasonable, that I am 
 disposed to lean favorably to them. Yet I want to bring 
 all to the test, and I need to examine, before I adopt views, 
 which at this time may affect my whole future course. I 
 trust in God, that he will lead me in just the right way. 
 There, a learner at his feet, I am safe. 7 
 
 "Monday, Nov. 15M. I have been watching the bold 
 front of West Rock, on which the sunlight streamed. 
 This lovely city of elms, and its two sentinel rocks, and 
 12* 
 
138 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the broad bay stretching at their feet can I ever cease to 
 remember them, or think of them, without a thrill of emo 
 tion ? I have spent so many happy hours here, that it 
 seems like one of my homes ; each spot is familiar, and its 
 nearness to the sea makes it doubly dear. How favored has 
 my life been full of mercies may I improve all to God s 
 glory." 
 
 "Sunday evening, Nov. 21 st. I have had some sweet 
 seasons of prayer to-day, and have got many interesting 
 ideas from dear Dr. and Mrs. Fitch. Here, in this dear 
 family, some of my happiest hours have been spent. May 
 God reward them for all the kindness they have shown me. 
 My heart twines around these dear friends, and the thought 
 of parting with them would be insupportable, if I did not 
 hope to meet them in another world." 
 
 " Nov. 23d. Here I am once more, writing my farewell 
 to this lovely place, and to morrow evening will not find me 
 here. Farewell to the sweet flowers, and the good old 
 piano, and the table where I have sat many an hour, and 
 the quiet sunlight scenes, and the window seat, and the 
 noble West Rock. I love them all. My most light- 
 hearted and careless days have been spent here, and more 
 thoughtful ones too. Here I have learned many things to 
 remember, when my spirit has grown old." 
 
 HARTFORD, Dec. 2d, 1841. 
 
 " Thursday morning. I am spending a day in my room, 
 which I have long wished for ; a day in which to look 
 over my future course, and endeavor to adopt those princi 
 ples upon which I can safely act in after life. This is a 
 deeply responsible act, and I tremble when I think how 
 much is pending upon the conclusions I now come to. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 139 
 
 May God direct in the plan which I now write down, 
 and may it be formed with his blessing, that so I may in 
 peace carry it into my daily life, and reflect upon it with 
 pleasure when I shall view this life in the light of eternity. 
 
 God has placed me in this world to glorify him, by pre 
 paring my own soul for his kingdom, and by doing all I 
 can to lead others to do so. He is sparing me in this world, 
 that my character may be formed into a likeness to his own 
 perfect character, that I may continually increase in holi 
 ness, and receive those blessings for which the Saviour 
 died. All that I have belongs to God. My time, the mind 
 he has given me, my desires and affections, all are his ; 
 his by creation, and by the covenant of Redemption. And 
 may I ever act as if I fully believed these great truths. 
 God has so constituted us, that we cannot live without 
 exerting an influence on those around us ; and in forming 
 our plans for life, we are to remember that we are respon 
 sible for the effect which our conduct will have upon 
 others ; and we are to form such habits, and act on such 
 principles, as will best promote the welfare of those over 
 whom we have influence. God is calling me to a deeply 
 responsible work that of glorifying him among those who 
 know him not. I need therefore a double portion of wisdom, 
 to know how to do God s will, and what preparation to 
 make in order to fulfill the duties which will fall upon me. 
 I will not be undecided, but trusting in God, I will be settled 
 and firm in the course I am to pursue. I know that God 
 will direct my steps, and though my earthly friends may 
 not be able to lead me, there is One who knows what is 
 right, and who will direct my steps in that path which 
 will secure the greatest good. I trust in God. I look to 
 him to teach me how I shall best promote the cause of 
 Christ in my own heart, and in the hearts of others. May 
 God give me grace so to use all the powers I have, that his 
 
140 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 will may be accomplished concerning me, and the kingdom 
 of our Saviour advanced, even though it be in a small de 
 gree only. 
 
 1. My motive in all that I do, must be the love of God 
 and Jesus ; and my object, the glory of God, and the ad 
 vancement of Christ s cause in this world. 
 
 2. In order to glorify my Father in Heaven, I must give 
 all the faculties of my mind, and the powers of my body, 
 their proper uses neglecting none of them, and using none 
 to excess. 
 
 3. I must take all proper means for the preservation of 
 my health ; such as keeping regular hours for sleep, exer- 
 .cise, &c. 
 
 4. In intercourse with others, I must recommend religion 
 by all suitable means ; a cheerful and gentle deportment. 
 
 5. I must place self very low, and put God on the 
 throne ; for only in this way will my plans succeed. 
 Altered Feb. 21st, 1843. 
 
 5. I desire to put self entirely down, and God only on 
 the throne of my heart. 
 
 6. In all doubtful cases of duty, I must consider the 
 subject with prayer, and when once decided, go on without 
 wavering. 
 
 7. I must keep a quiet mind in every duty. Trust must 
 be my watchword. In the midst of all duties, labors or 
 trials, let a quiet mind be earned. 
 
 8. An observing eye must be mine upon all which is 
 around me, ready to engage in any work for God ; and a 
 listening ear, also, to learn whatever I can. 
 
 9. Sympathy with the whole human race I must have, 
 in order to do them good. I must not arouse their preju 
 dices, but win them to God, in the gentlest way which my 
 conscience will permit. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 141 
 
 10. In pursuing any course of conduct, which I believe 
 right in the sight of God, I must not be turned from it by 
 others opinions, unless clearly shown that I am mistaken." 
 
 TO C. C. 
 
 Dec. 20, 1841. 
 
 "Do you believe, my dear C., that it is just a fortnight 
 to-day, since that good snow storm which gave me your 
 company ? And so it is only six weeks before your school 
 closes. But I must not look forward. How long it takes 
 us to learn that living in the present, is the only wise 
 course, so long as we are dwellers in clay. 
 
 ******* * 
 
 We are reading, that is, M. S., mother and myself, 
 every morning for the present, Schlegel s Historj 11 of Lit 
 erature, and find it very improving. Indeed we make quite 
 a study of it, and it gives me a great deal of satisfaction 
 to be so thorough in a work so valuable as this. I have 
 1 Mrs. Smith s Life, to read, and an essay on Living for 
 Immortality, by Foster ; besides several little books which 
 I am dispatching as fast as possible. Then we have com 
 menced French, and I am more interested than ever. Fit 
 ting dolls clolhes, arid patch work for the society, and 
 making calls, fill up the fragments of time. Here I have 
 given you a list of my occupations. My time never passed 
 so pleasantly, so free from care, as it does now; and I feel 
 these are golden moments which I must improve. I have 
 made it a rule to see some of my friends every day, and 
 generally spend a portion of the afternoon in calling. It 
 is very delightful to mingle once more with my dear friends, 
 and to enjoy their society. My father wishes to have me 
 in society as much as possible. As there was no service, 
 I spent the last evening with him, and he gave me many 
 a good hint about my duties, &c. I find that he observes 
 
142 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 little things much more than I thought he did. His not 
 speaking often of them, has deceived me. But I believe 
 now, that he is a careful observer of habits and manners. 
 Shall I make any apology for such a note of egotism ? 
 I will not, because I think you wish to know what I am 
 doing during our separation. And I expect just the same 
 of you. Remember, dear C., all you see and hear, and 
 tell me when you come. I want to know if you have for 
 gotten our promise about drawing a sketch for one another. 
 I have thought of it many times, and once had my view 
 selected. The little bag, which I tried so hard to finish, I 
 send now, and hope you will carry it for my sake. I 
 have made a little silk case, lined and wadded, for your 
 sweet Testament to live in, and another for M. W. s Bible. 
 Did you have a pleasant Sabbath yesterday, dear C. 1 I 
 had a very refreshing one, but a part of it was spent at 
 home ; for my Sabbath-school services are very wearing, 
 and yet so interesting, I cannot think of giving them up." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 "Dec. Zlst. The return of this season, reminds me 
 forcibly of the days of last winter. Last year at this time, 
 my spirit was shrouded in a gloom, which hid the light of 
 heaven from my eyes. The corruption and sin of my heart, 
 was staring me in the face. But for all those miserable 
 days I can now only thank God. I did indeed pass through 
 a dark way, but I humbly hope it was for my good. The 
 first day of this present year, I began to see light, and since 
 then, my mind has gradually become more peaceful, and 
 my purpose of obedience to God, more and more confirmed. 
 
 This morning I have been spending a season of prayer, 
 especially for our dear church, that we may be prepared 
 for the approaching fast. And I have been looking over 
 also the year now drawing to a close. How much I 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 143 
 
 have, over which to rejoice ; and yet it is not all, nor 
 chiefly because my way has become so much brighter, as 
 regards my temporal concerns, but it is, because my heart 
 can look up in the midst of all my sins, and can trust in 
 God, and own him as Father, Saviour and Sanctifier. 
 
 I long for a time like that of last winter. The dissipa 
 tion of summer, and the traveling of the warm months, 
 has now given place to a season of quiet. O, may we all 
 improve it! Those precious days! O, that they might 
 return again. Many of my dear friends then found a 
 Saviour. But there are yet many who are without hope in 
 the world. Will not our Father send his good Spirit to 
 touch their hearts, and lead them to him. 
 
 I have many duties to perform before New-Year s. I 
 am making some little gifts for my friends, have society 
 work to prepare, and in addition to this, I have to spend 
 some portion of my time, each day, in Mr. F. s room, to 
 have a portrait of my poor self taken. With regard to the 
 principles of my life. I do try to be governed by them ; 
 but the one I find the hardest, is to be firm, after I have 
 decided a difficult question of duty. 
 
 My plan I try to pursue, and have reason to think that 
 it is the best I can have ; but I have to hold myself back, 
 for I am continually undertaking too much." 
 
 TO C. C. 
 
 Dec. 2Qth, 1841. 
 
 "Well, my dear friend, this is a most beautiful day, with 
 which to close our Sabbaths of this year ; and now I know 
 you are enjoying this glorious moon, and thinking, (but I 
 hope not too much,) on the varied events of the portion of 
 time we are now closing. I lingered in our church after 
 service, to watch the sunset light upon the pillars, and our 
 noble organ ; and I would have staid, had I dared, to review 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 there, in the house of God, the Sabbaths of the dying year. 
 There are many thoughts which come crowding on our 
 minds, and our hearts are back in the passing daj^s. those 
 days which brought so much trial* and affliction, but which 
 brought, too, the comfort and the blessedness of a Father s 
 love. Let us think, dear C., of the blessings which have 
 crowned the year, and of the mercies which have, even 
 though under disguise, come to us. Let us think of those, 
 who forever released from the sin and corruption of this 
 world, are tuning their golden harps on the hills of Zion." 
 
 "Monday evening, 27th. I have just returned from a 
 pleasant evening meeting, the first I have attended since 
 my illness, and it was very good to be there. These 
 precious privileges make a Christian home seem very de 
 lightful, and if we prize them so highly, will it not be our 
 highest happiness to extend their influence to the whole 
 family of man 1 Oh, for a spirit of benevolence, that shall 
 embrace the whole human race. I hope to derive much 
 benefit from Mrs. Smith s Life, which I am now reading. 
 How much we have to learn. I do not mean of mere 
 worldly science, but of the things pertaining to God and 
 our own souls. When thoughts of that blessed kingdom, 
 which our Saviour is setting up in this world, come into 
 our hearts, how every thing which does not aid it, sinks into 
 insignificance ! And yet I feel tHat very many things in 
 which we are engaged, though perhaps not bearing directly 
 on the great w r ork, do so advance the cause by the influence 
 they throw around us, that it is part of our Christian duty 
 to engage in them. 
 
 Oh, the time is so short for l all we need to do. We 
 have just heard a vague report of the death of a beautiful 
 girl, formerly a member of our family. How strangely 
 sorrow and joy, death and^life are mingled ! Another of 
 
 * Miss C. had buried her father during the year. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 145 
 
 our beautiful flowers is this week to be married. The 
 wedding is to be at our house, so I expect to be very busily 
 and pleasantly occupied ; and this, with the approaching 
 solemnities of the fast and communion season, will fill up 
 the week. 
 
 Do you remember a sad, gloomy letter I wrote you, just 
 a year this week ? I think of those days, as among the 
 most miserable of my life. But I feel very differently 
 now. Thanks be to God, that darkness has given place to 
 trust in him." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 u Dec. 3\st. The last rays of the sun are gilding with 
 a rosy hue, the light clouds above the horizon. There is 
 snow on my distant hills, and they are sleeping as in sum 
 mer days. My heart is far back in the days of this now 
 dying year. 
 
 My character has undergone a greater change in this, 
 than in any preceding year, and yet perhaps the events and 
 experience of earlier ones prepared for the change. A 
 certain peace and trust, in a Christian hope, has carried 
 me through all the changing and deeply interesting scenes 
 of the year. To God, my Heavenly Father, be all the 
 glory. I do repent of every sin. May his pardoning mercy 
 blot out the guilt, the worldliness of the past year, that it 
 go not over into the year which is coming. 
 
 This morning. I felt rather stupid on account of the ex 
 citement of yesterday. S. M. and Mr. F. were married in 
 the afternoon at our house. A few friends came in. S. 
 looked most lovely, and F., noble and protecting to the 
 gentle being, who has given him her all. She is a lonely 
 orphan but exceedingly beautiful and every one loves 
 her. May God bless them, and make them truly happy. 
 After the bridal party had gone to take the cars for New 
 
146 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEJ*. 
 
 Haven, we all prepared the cake to send round to the 
 friends. A beautiful group of young girls knelt around the 
 table, as they tied the white ribbon around each little 
 parcel. 
 
 And now farewell to the hopes and fears, joys and sor 
 rows, of this year. There is a world where time is not 
 measured by years, and no change comes. May I trust 
 in Jesus, and do his will, then may I hope for an entrance 
 into that blest abode." 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A YEAR OF PREPARATION. 
 
 " Communion Sabbath, Jan. 2d., 1842. Just two months 
 since I began to go to church after my sickness. I have 
 had a sweet season of prayer. The communion season 
 also I enjoyed, and hope it may have been profitable to our 
 church. My Sabbath-school was very pleasant ; the ser 
 mon on nearness to God, and the communion, precious ; and 
 I felt a happiness in surrendering myself to Jesus. But this 
 afternoon,remaining at home, because too fatigued to go 
 again to church, I read in Mrs. Smith s life, and have been 
 in an agony of tears. O, how poorly I can control my 
 feelings. I read all about the parting from her parents, 
 and thought about another parting that will come, with 
 such bitter sadness. I knew not what to do. O, my Saviour, 
 though I am weak, I turn to thee. 
 
 7 o clock. I feel calm now, and trust in God, that he 
 will give me strength to do his whole will ; that he will 
 help me overcome my selfish inclinations, and consecrate 
 every thing to him who died for me. I have had a sweet 
 season of prayer. How good is my Father in Heaven! I 
 will trust, for he knows best." 
 
 " Jan. 9th. How fast has the first week of this new 
 year flown ! This day I shall count as my sweetest, for 
 I have been freer than usual from wandering thoughts, 
 and from distracting cares. Had a pleaSant season with 
 
148 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 mj class, and listened to a deeply solemn and interesting 
 sermon from my dear father, on the influence of the Spirit. 
 May we all pray for a blessing on the labors of this day. 
 I find it very sweet to look over the notes I have taken, 
 concerning the season of religious interest, which we en 
 joyed last winter. Cannot those precious days return ? 
 Oh, what can I do ? Lord, teach me. 
 
 It has been a most lovely afternoon. The soft sky and 
 golden sunshine, gilding every thing, remind me of the 
 beams of the Sun of Righteousness. If this earth is so 
 beautiful, what must Heaven be, where the presence of 
 God gladdens every spot, and illumines the celestial hills ! 
 I thank God that I can look to him, and call him Father, 
 through Jesus Christ, his only Son." 
 
 Wethcrsfald, Feb. 20M, This is my second Sab 
 bath in this place, where I am visiting my dear M. W., 
 and I hope that both have been spent profifably. My 
 seasons alone during this week, have been unusually 
 solemn. O, I feel my deep ingratitude a little more than 
 I once did. Spent last evening alone, looking over the 
 past week found cause of sorrow that I had not been as 
 spiritual as I might have been. O, my Saviour, fill my 
 heart with gratitude: may thy dying love be my watch 
 word, and sweetly constrain me to spend and be spent for 
 thee. 
 
 I am making many precious friends here. Can I do 
 them any good? If I have the heart, Jesus will open the 
 way. 
 
 At the window where I am sitting, I have spent many 
 sunset hours in prayer ; and henceforth will the view from 
 it be associated in my heart with some of the pleasantest 
 and holiest hours I have ever passed. I love to connect 
 natural scenery .with devotion. Even in winter our earth 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 149 
 
 - 
 
 is fair, and is a temple sending up its praises to God. I 
 shall think of this window when I am far away, of the 
 sunset colors and morning rays, which have lighted the 
 lovely meadows spread out before me, through which our 
 Connecticut is flowing and there is the same fine skirting 
 of hill and sky, which I always love to watch. 
 
 Went into the Sabbath-school had a class of three 
 little girls. It was a solemn work, for I shall probably 
 never meet them again till the judgment day. They, too, 
 appeared interested." 
 
 " Tuesday, Feb. 2Zd. Beautiful day ! Soft mist on the 
 mountains, and in the valley the river twinkles with a 
 smoky light, such as I often saw last Spring. Surely 
 nature, in all her features, is lovely What must be the 
 character of that Being, from whom come all these works ? 
 My heart is quiet and trusting, and I can go cheerfully on 
 in the performance of my many duties." 
 
 " Thursday, Feb. %4th. This day has been usually 
 observed as the fast for colleges. This morning, spent a 
 few hours alone, and hope I had a profitable season. And 
 now I want to commit my own soul, and the souls of all 
 for whom I pray, to the keeping of our God and Father, 
 that he may work in us all that is acceptable and holy in 
 his sight." 
 
 " Friday, Feb. 25th Went in, with M. W., to the 
 State Prison. We were just in time to see the prisoners 
 assemble for evening prayers, a most solemn and affecting 
 sight. I shall never forget the measured tread of these 
 poor beings, as they came in files from their workshops ; 
 nor the slow and earnest voice of the Chaplain, reading the 
 portion in Ecclesiastes, commencing, But if a man live 
 many years, nor the singing of the prisoners. There is 
 
 13* 
 
150 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 an hour when I must die; all has made too deep an im 
 pression ever to be effaced. The services were peculiarly 
 solemn, for the coffin of one of their number was before 
 them. Without name or date, there it lay, reminding 
 them, that, though shut out from the world, yet death 
 could find an entrance through prison bolts and bars. They 
 bore him away without the walls, and thus has closed, in 
 darkness and gloom, the career of one who began the 
 world with feelings of buoyancy, of hope, but unchecked 
 by religious principle, soon sunk into shame and sin, and 
 now his end is come. We saw the guard and four of the 
 prisoners bearing the coffin to its grave behind the prison 
 walls. Mr. B. is well adapted to the station he fills. His 
 manner is sincere and solemn." 
 
 " Hartford, Sabbath evening, March 4tk. This after 
 noon my dear father has been reviewing the twenty-four 
 years of his ministry, of the commencement of which, 
 this day is the anniversary ; and our hearts have rejoiced 
 in view of the goodness and mercy which have followed 
 us all the days of our life. Thanking God for the past, 
 we have looked forward with humble trust for the future, 
 and there in his holy house, have left our offerings of praise. 
 The prayers, the music, and the sweet hymns, were all in 
 keeping ; and when the last one was joined in, On Jor 
 dan s stormy banks, I am sure no heart there but thrilled 
 with emotion. And the doxology, Praise the Lord, ending 
 in its hallelujah, amen, the rich organ notes swelling in 
 full harmony, seemed, as my dear mother said, like the 
 anthems of heaven. Almost all the congregation who 
 were here when my father was ordained, are now sleeping 
 in their graves. Many have died in the hopes of the gos 
 pel. They will not return to us, but we shall go to them. 
 My father offered the fervent prayer of his heart, that 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 151 
 
 when we were gone, others might be here, who should 
 form a spiritual and living church to the end of time. 
 
 Our new and deep-toned bell rings this day for the first 
 time, calling us to that church we love so well. I shall 
 love this I know, though t is not the bell of my childhood. 
 That good old bell ! connected as it was with so many of 
 the happiest seasons of my life whose tones were the 
 familiar ones of my earliest moments ; could I help loving 
 it ? My father says, I shall not hear that bell in Smyrna. 
 No, its tones will not reach me there. There will come 
 a time, when I shall no more go up to that sanctuary, 
 which has been my Sabbath home from my earliest years ; 
 when I shall no more join in its holy services. But I am 
 not cast down ; through my tears, I can look to a more 
 glorious temple above, where God and the Lamb forever 
 dwell. No, no ; this dear place of worship, that has nur 
 tured so many plants of piety, will be called mine no more, 
 when I depart from the home of my youth ; but if 1 hum 
 bly walk in the ways of piety, and lean upon Jesus for 
 strength, may I not hope that he will go with me in all 
 my wanderings, make me bold and faithful in his service, 
 and that he will cause the truths which I have here heard, 
 to spring up in my heart, and bear fruit forever 1 
 
 In the strength of this day s services, I hope to go many 
 days ; and now I go to my twilight engagement. May 
 my Father meet a poor unworthy child, and give her a 
 blessing through Christ." 
 
 " Thursday, March IQth. I am writing by an open 
 window, my own favorite one, and the sun is really op 
 pressive. It is a beautiful spring day, and brings to mem 
 ory those of last year. There are mild winds without, 
 and the blue-birds sing on the trees around the window. 
 So faithful is our Father to bring again the sweet spring 
 
152 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 time. Would that it were spring in my heart ! And why 
 may it not be ? 
 
 I have been endeavoring, by a morning spent alone, to 
 prepare for the solemn services of the approaching com 
 munion. I feel that I have need of much prayer and fast 
 ing, for my heart is not in such a state as I desire. I look 
 back on the year which has passed, since my mind began 
 to place a new confidence in my Father in Heaven, and 
 felt a new emotion of love and trust in my Saviour, and I 
 could weep that I have made so little progress. Those 
 days last spring, I can truly call happy days, and I know 
 that I might enjoy far better ones now, and ought to, but 
 for this evil heart." 
 
 " Thursday afternoon. We have had a sweet prayer 
 meeting. These seasons must be improved, for this sum 
 mer is the last one we may ever spend together. In the 
 fall our beloved H. is to be married, and then we shall no 
 more meet as we have done. 
 
 We are beginning to get strangely accustomed to the 
 scenes of active life. Marriages, and engagements, are 
 almost a matter of course now. But we can never be ac 
 customed to the thought of partings and separations. 
 These are the sad hard things. 
 
 O, my Father, help us all to realize that the thing for 
 which we live is, to glorify thee. That these passing 
 scenes in life are chiefly important, as they help to form 
 our characters, and to fit us for a higher state of being. 
 
 My daily portions of Scripture are now about the closing 
 scenes of our Saviour s life ; and this morning I read his 
 last prayer, that beautiful, touching prayer, which none 
 but the Saviour could pray. And now I commit myself 
 to my Father in Heaven. May he work in me that which 
 is holy and pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ " 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 153 
 
 . "Friday morning, \\th. Went last night to hear the 
 Rainers : voices most exquisite, and singing in fine taste. 
 Rock d in the cradle of the deep, was perhaps the most 
 beautiful. Their native Tyrolese costume, and their sister 
 with her guitar, swung gracefully over her shoulder, added 
 much to the effect. But while such a concert could be 
 attended with truly Christian feeling, I am almost ready to 
 blame myself that I went. I think it is better, on the near 
 approach of the communion, not to attend any thing 
 which diverts the mind. One so weak as I am, is easily 
 drawn into the world, as this little incident has shown me. 
 I did pray before I went, and the thing was not of my own 
 seeking. O, my Saviour, wilt thou help me to keep a 
 steadfast mind ; fixed only on Thee." 
 
 " March \?>th. Have had in some degree, I trust, a 
 profitable day. I felt during the administration of the sac 
 rament, that I must live at a less dying rate. I resolved 
 to live nearer the Saviour to look more entirely to him, 
 and to endeavor to feel more the great truths of the gos 
 pel ; and this afternoon, while reading and meditating 
 alone, I have had this feeling much deepened. 
 
 I have been becoming, of late, too well satisfied with 
 my own state have been contented with going on, having 
 a little pleasant feeling, dropping a word now and then, 
 and have not thought enough of the importance of doing 
 with my might. I know that calmness is necessary to 
 the profitable performance of duty; but that heart is the 
 calmest, which is steadily fixed on the one great object of 
 following Christ in all things. O, my Saviour, hear Thou 
 rny prayer for a steadfast heart." 
 
 " Thursday, April 7th. To-day, Mr. B. gave me a Greek 
 lesson. Oh, why is this heart sickness, when I am re- 
 
154 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 minded of my future course ! I love the friends far away, 
 I love their country, I hope I love my work ; but tis the 
 thought of leaving this dear, dear place ! O, may my 
 heart feel so great a desire to do good, that I shall feel 
 strong in the thought of separation, looking beyond this 
 life to our happy meeting." 
 
 " Sabbath, April \0th. One of the most beautiful days 
 of the season. The buds are fast opening, and the grass 
 is green all over the fields. How lovely is returning spring ! 
 May my heart feel it, and be happy in these delightful 
 days, because it is fixed on Jesus, and on doing his will. 
 I am ready to burst out into praise and grateful joy with 
 every thing around. Every thing speaks a Father s love. 
 I do give up my heart to Jesus, to be devoted entirely to 
 his service. How often I write this in my journal, yet not 
 so often as I feel it. It is my habitual desire to be devoted 
 to him. 
 
 This is my last Sunday before I shall be twenty-one. 
 O, my Saviour, cleanse away the guilt of the past. My 
 dear father preached from the text, I would not live 
 alway, and I hope that in some little measure, I could 
 enter into the meaning of the sermon. At the close, he 
 read the hymn which expressed the sentiment in the text ; 
 and Mr. M. played as if he felt it, while it was sung most 
 sweetly." 
 
 " Monday noon, l\th. Just like a summer s day, remind 
 ing me of Burleigh s exquisite poem on June 
 
 Hiding the sunshine in their vapory breast, 
 The clouds float on like spirits to their rest. 
 
 1 have been out walking this morning, and have been op 
 pressed by this beautiful weather. How true it is, that 
 often, when every thing is bright and beautiful around, our 
 
MRS. MA.RY E. VAN LENNEP. 155 
 
 hearts are listless. Perhaps it is because the greatness of 
 the beauty overpowers them, and that they are too con 
 tracted to take it all in. It is this which makes them so 
 poorly able to take in the sublime truths of Redemption. 
 Yes, our hearts are contracted. O, God, wilt thou open 
 mine, and may I feel as I should on every subject." 
 
 " Friday, April 15th. I hoped to have spent yesterday 
 as a day of prayer and fasting, but domestic duties pre 
 vented ; yet all day my thoughts were more tender than 
 for a long time past. And although my time for medita 
 tion has been very much broken in upon to-day, yet just 
 before tea, I had a season of prayer, that the sins of the 
 past might be forgiven me, and that I might begin my new 
 year with entire devotion to God. 
 
 When I look back to the sweet birth-day last year, and 
 think of the mercy that has followed me all the time, how 
 I was permitted to pass a pleasant summer, and how in 
 the fall, when brought to the gates of death, I was raised 
 up again, and carried in peace through the v/inter ; when 
 I think of the intercourse with beloved friends, growing 
 more delightful every day ; and of the many precious sea 
 sons in private, which, throughout the year, I have enjoyed, 
 I am filled with gratitude. Surely my cup overflows ! 
 
 This is the bright side of the picture. On God s side 
 every thing has been mercy. On my own, I can only 
 write sin, sin, a mere blank. I fear very much that I have 
 let the prevailing lukewarmness around me influence my 
 feelings also. Should it be thus, with one for whom so 
 much has been done ? And now in taking this solemn 
 review of the past, I can say, first of all, that my great sin 
 has been in not striving to live each moment of time for 
 the glory of God. How sweet it would have been to have 
 done this. And secondly, in not leaning entirely on the 
 
156 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Saviour for aid, on whom my all depends ; and lastly, I 
 have not felt as I should with regard to the missionary 
 work, nor willing as 1 should be to deny myself. This 
 grieves me. Over this I pray in bitterness of heart. Over 
 these sins I have been mourning. I have taken them to 
 my Saviour. O. that he would have pity upon me and 
 remove every sin, and grant that in penitence and peace, 
 I may close this year, and awake in my new one, with 
 new life." 
 
 " Saturday, April {6th. This beautiful morning makes 
 me twenty-one. How sweetly it shines. I look upon 
 the same hills, and soft sky, which one year ago shone so 
 brightly, and many thoughts come stealing over my heart. 
 Twenty-one years ! It is a long time to look back upon. 
 I think of my childhood days, so sweet and happy, of the 
 friends who have risen in my path, and made my life so 
 pleasant, of the blessings innumerable which my Father 
 has showered upon me, and I can only bow down, and in 
 deep repentance for the past, give up my heart to him 
 anew. 
 
 O, God, wilt thou take this life which thou hast spared ; 
 wilt thou grant that throughout each moment of the com 
 ing year I may be wholly thine, and act only from motives 
 drawn from love to thee, as Father, Saviour and Sanctifier. 
 Thou only canst tell what lines are written for me in the 
 future ; but I have trusted thee in the past ; shall I not 
 also for the coming days? When I look to this poor way 
 ward heart, I despair of ever attaining the only worthy 
 end for which to live but when I look to thee I say, great 
 God, all things are possible with thee. And now I do sin 
 cerely and unreservedly give up this heart to thee. I feel 
 that I shall be safe under thy eternal guidance and 
 supremely blessed, if I may be under thy control, through- 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 157 
 
 out every moment of this life. May my aim be single. 
 May self be put far away. May I live with direct refer 
 ence to Jesus, and the concerns of his kingdom, striving 
 that my every act may tend to its furtherance in this world. 
 This is my prayer. May it be heard only through Christ. 
 Have received beautiful birth-day remembrances from 
 some of my friends. May I live so truly to Jesus, as to be 
 worthy of their love. 
 
 April \7th. After going to S. S., where I met my dear 
 class, who all appeared interested, unusually so, in what 
 we talked about, I felt so fatigued that I came home ; and 
 here by the study window I have been thinking, and look 
 ing over my last year, and praying too. 
 
 O, I thank God for many things I find in the retrospect, 
 and mourn over many things also. 
 
 I have very many feelings of the past now in my heart. 
 This birth-day has called them up, and I have been com 
 paring them with my present feelings. 
 
 I fear that last year I let my religion assume a too 
 poetic character rather dreamy looking too much for 
 natural beauties, and letting my thoughts be governed by 
 the world of beauty which was around. I thank God that 
 he made me to receive enjoj rnent from every thing in nature; 
 that he gave me a spirit to respond to all the loveliness 
 around ; but I desire, that as my mind has been open to 
 impressions from natural objects, it may be now open to 
 those far more glorious objects that exist in the spiritual 
 world, of which Christ and his great work are the founda 
 tion. And I humbly hope this may be the character of my 
 meditations this year. O, my Saviour, open my heart to 
 these blessed truths. 
 
 The day is uncommonly fine, the air is bland, and the 
 bird notes exquisite. My heart loves these. Yes, I may 
 
 14 
 
158 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 love them. Love not these the less] but God and Christ 
 more. I feel that I am in danger of placing these first. It 
 must be God and Christ first. 
 
 I must now try to form some kind of plan for the sum 
 mer. My studies this winter have been very light, and I 
 have not done much, as my health requires I should live 
 easily. 
 
 I shall endeavor to spend some time over Greek and 
 French every day. O, I rejoice that my mind feels more 
 interested in the Mission cause. This has been my great 
 trouble, that, when God was so graciously pleased to call 
 me into his vineyard, that I. instead of leaping and taking 
 hold of the work, should have had so many misgivings 
 about it. I can only go and mourn before Jesus, and ask 
 him to forgive the past, and give me a heart to feel for 
 poor lost souls. 
 
 I can rejoice now in a little better spirit. O, my Saviour, 
 keep that which thou hast put into this heart. It is all of 
 grace. Yes, every thing is of grace. I have more reason 
 to feel this than any one else, for I have sinned against 
 greater light and greater love. I do now rest all my de 
 pendence on the Saviour. I cannot look away from him 
 one moment. I will keep in his presence there alone is 
 life and safety. 
 
 The principles I laid down last December, I desire 
 should govern me now that my plan will have to be differ 
 ent. Indeed I cannot form one quite yet. until I look round 
 and see what is to be done. My letters from the East 
 tell me many things, and throw light on the preparation 
 for my work. May I have strength for all that needs to 
 be done. 
 
 Thursday, 20M. Most lovely, sunshine all around, and 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 159 
 
 music of the birds very sweet. These beautiful days 
 should fill our hearts with gratitude. 
 
 Yesterday went to the consecration of St. John s 
 Church. A beautiful Gothic, yet not equal to the old one. 
 The scene was imposing and solemn. The priests in their 
 robes kneeling in the chancel and round the altar, made a 
 beautiful picture, and carried my thoughts back to the old 
 Romish days, when 
 
 The marble lloor was swept 
 By many a long dark stole. 
 
 And then the glorious strains of the organ swelling along 
 the arches, made my very heart leap. There is that in the 
 forms of the Church which is exceedingly imposing, and 
 there is thrown a veil of both poetry and mystery over its 
 rites which fascinates the eye of the imagination. Oh, 
 yes, it does fascinate, and there is the danger. Tis a veil 
 to hide the simplicity, and, to the unrenewed mind, the 
 severity of religion. It throws around the plain, self- 
 denying, humbling precepts of the Gospel, a drapery very 
 graceful and beautiful, and having also a devout air, the 
 mind becomes contented to rest in it, without looking 
 deeper for the spirit and power of godliness. I have in 
 deed the best reason for believing that there are many pious 
 and sincere worshippers in that church, but that its peculiar 
 forms and tenets have the tendency to foster pride, and 
 quiet (he conscience, I have also very good reason to be 
 lieve. 
 
 The service of yesterdaj*- made a deep impression on my 
 mind. I am glad I went. It may be useful to me here 
 after, and help to form my opinion of matters and things. 
 I fear I was too much taken up with mere curiosity, and 
 did not pray as I should, that that place of worship might 
 be the gate of heaven to many souls. Yet so much of the 
 
160 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 service seemed merely formal, that my curiosity was exci 
 ted more than any thing else. 
 
 " Tuesday, 26th. Feel deeply the state of beginning de 
 clension. Last year, how different we were. All inter 
 ested and happy in the love of God. Now we are cold. 
 1 Lord, wilt Thou not revive us again ? Thought yes 
 terday morning of asking a few friends to a special prayer 
 meeting, and spoke to one about it. And now I pray for a 
 blessing on this plan. May it succeed, and our meeting 
 on Thursday warm our hearts and turn again our back- 
 slidings. Many of the dear girls joined the church at our 
 communion in May, last year. The coming Sabbath, is 
 the anniversary of that event. They will grieve that it 
 finds them so little advanced. 
 
 Saturday, April 30th. The evening before our holy 
 communion has at last come. and beautifully its light is 
 fading, while a sweet bird is singing his vesper song among 
 the blossoms. My work in the early morning, and after 
 wards, with my singing and drawing school, has wearied 
 me, and I sat at home this afternoon sewing and thinking. 
 It was beautiful without the sun shining brightly, and 
 greenness and freshness all around. I have some sweet 
 thoughts, and all this week have been more than usually 
 tender, but I have not that sweet peace I enjoyed last year 
 at this time. I cannot tell to what it. is owing. Outward 
 things affect me much less than formerly, and I have 
 nothing to trouble me. Yet my heart does not flow forth 
 freely and gladly, delighting in doing God s will, and resting 
 in the sunshine of his face. Yet I think 1 feel more willing 
 to give up every earthly thing. I can call God my Saviour. 
 I do love him. O for a heart that entirely rests in him. I 
 can tell my Saviour all my wants and he will help me. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 161 
 
 Sabbath evening, May \st. A delightful Sabbath within 
 and around, and I do bless God for it. Since meeting, a 
 thunder storm has been refreshing the earth, but now it is 
 clearing, and the sun is gilding with a most peculiar crim 
 son light, the trees and chimneys and rnasts of vessels, 
 and a soft glow is cast over the eastern sky, where the 
 clouds are passing away. Oh, how lovely is nature in all 
 her moods! A flood of amber streams around the setting 
 sun ; and now I can see a faint bow just where the hills 
 are peeping out of the mist Bright and lovely even in 
 tears, this fair earth always seems. I shall love it till my 
 latest hour. But O, there is a more glorious one where the 
 redeemed shall dwell one which shall never lose its fresh 
 ness and beauty on which the eye can feast and never 
 grow weary ! 
 
 That sweet bow, just in the spot where I gazed oftenest, 
 just over those hills I have watched most did it not mean 
 something for me ? I will learn its lesson of hope. Though 
 these earthly scenes are hidden from our view, there are 
 others more lovely, more spiritual, to be discerned by the 
 eye of faith, and I will turn to them, for they can give me 
 more true happiness. 
 
 The communion I did enjoy, it was refreshing. I 
 thought over the whole year so full of mercy to me 
 and I can say with thankfulness that I have enjoyed more 
 refreshing seasons in my devotions at home, more comfort 
 in the ordinances of the gospel, especially in the com 
 munion, more quiet in my Sabbaths, than ever before, and I 
 can add. than in all my life put together. 
 
 I did give my poor heart all away this day at the com 
 munion, and now I do it again. I want to have more con 
 versation of a Christian nature and this has been turned 
 intx> a resolution. 
 
 i r 
 
162 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Tuesday, May 3d. Yesterday, in looking over the 
 "Missionary Herald," thought how much need of self 
 denial on our part to carry forward the great plans for the 
 promotion of Christ s kingdom. I thought much of this 
 yesterday. Oh, how much I need a heart rilled with be 
 nevolence and ready to do my all in this work ! which I 
 cannot but feel to be glorious, and alone worth the ener 
 gies of an immortal being. I pray God that he will so 
 direct me, and so fill me with his love, that all I am and 
 have may be devoted to Him, without one selfish reserva 
 tion. 
 
 Wednesday, 4f.h. After dinner walked to Aunt M - s, 
 
 a May-day party there. I had hoped they would 
 have deferred their crowning till a warmer day. but there 
 they were, and in spite of the showers they were a merry 
 and beautiful group. S - , their lovely queen, fairer than 
 most of her companions, did the honors of her station with 
 grace and dignity. Her wreath was beautiful, and they 
 had all shown much taste in the arrangement. It brought 
 to my mind the time when I was a little girl, crowning 
 May queens in that same grove. I went and played with 
 them, and tried to be young again among their bright faces. 
 
 TO MRS. FITCH. 
 
 HARTFORD, May 16M, 1842. 
 
 " My very dear Mrs. Fitch. Your note, so full of kind 
 words, deserved an earlier answer ; but you know that to 
 you, I do not need to make apologies. I should have writ 
 ten a very plain matter-of-fact sort of note last week, and 
 I should have told you that you certainly mistook my char 
 acter in supposing I was looking forward with very bright 
 anticipations but I have since then received a letter from 
 the East, and after the reception of every letter, I find my 
 heart looking forward more and more. And yet, my dear 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 163 
 
 Mrs. Fitch, though I make this confession to you, I feel 
 that I do not anticipate so much as you seem to think I do. 
 I do not dare to build my hopes of happiness on any thing 
 which is in this world, for I feel too deeply in my own 
 heart, that this life, however happy, cannot satisfy. 
 
 I am free now from any morbid sense of the vanity of 
 this world, and I should be the last one to plant yews 
 and cypresses on the path-way through life, for I shall 
 ever feel that there is enough of enjoyment mingled with 
 the sadness, to make this state of being far more than 
 passable and to the Christian it surely need not be a 
 gloomy way ; for while he passes on, trusting in his God, 
 there is many a ray of sunshine, and many a bright star, 
 to light him to his home. But I do feel that there is noth 
 ing earthly on which we can place our dependence for happi 
 ness. And is not the true difference between the worldling 
 and the Christian this ? The latter may enjoy many 
 things which the former does, but while he enjoys them he 
 looks to a higher source, and feels that his portion is more 
 enduring. I pray God that I may take the good and evil 
 just as it comes, patiently submitting to the one, and thank 
 fully enjoying the other, and striving to do his will, what 
 ever it may be." 
 
 TO ONE OF HER EARLY FRIENDS. 
 
 HARTFORD, July 5th, 1842. 
 
 " My dear A. Since I heard of your marriage, I have 
 wanted to send you my most sincere wishes for your 
 increasing happiness. I little thought while your bridal 
 day was passing, what was then taking place ; and even 
 now I can scarcely realize that you are no longer A. R. 
 
 And so you are now a wife, a happy one too, I imagine, 
 rejoicing in the love of one who is more to you than all the 
 world beside. My prayers have gone up to heaven for 
 
164 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 you, that God s blessing may be upon your union ; that he 
 may direct you in all your future path. Wherever your 
 future lot may be cast, may His eye watch over you, guard 
 ing you from every evil ; leading you to choose him as 
 your everlasting portion. 
 
 I did not think, when you left my sick chamber last No 
 vember, that I was bidding my good-bye to A. R. Had I 
 known it, my dear friend, I should have urged you, even 
 more strongly than I then did, to have settled one subject, 
 which has for a long time been pressing on your attention ; 
 that so God might have been with you as your friend, in 
 the important step you have taken. But it is not too late 
 now. Can you not, joined by him with whom your destiny 
 is linked forever, now in the commencement of your mar 
 ried life, give up to God, your Father and Redeemer, the 
 hearts which should be his, and devote your lives to his 
 blessed service? These are not mere words, dear A. I 
 write what are the deepest feelings of my heart. You 
 may have all the happiness which this world can give, and 
 yet without love to God, you will find in the end that you 
 have trusted for happiness in something which cannot sat 
 isfy an immortal being. But I believe that you are willing 
 to assent to all this. The trouble with you has seemed to 
 be, that you could not do what you felt was required of 
 you. 1 wish I could make it seem plain to you. It does 
 seem to my mind the simplest, the easiest and the most 
 blessed thing in the world, to give up the heart to the con 
 trol of God, and by daily looking to him for strength to 
 conquer our corrupt inclinations, to grow in every thing 
 which will make us like him. The act is one of simple, 
 delightful trust, in one who knows just what we need. 
 You have your Bible, dear A.; you can go to that. You 
 will not forget, I am persuaded, in the midst of all the 
 scenes through which you are now moving, that you have 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 165 
 
 higher and more important interests, which demand your 
 most serious attention. 
 
 I feel, my dear friend, that it is a fearful as well as a 
 blessed thing to live in these days. It is a time in which 
 we cannot take neutral ground ; we must either take our 
 stand as defenders of the truth, or shut our eyes to it, and 
 be against it. Will you not inquire for yourself where 
 right is ? Do not be content to glide on with those who 
 are around you, but ask yourself, t are they right ? Take 
 your Bible, dear A., and in the view of the glorious things 
 which are being accomplished in these latter times, ask 
 God to direct your course in life, that so it may be onward 
 and upward, and brightened by his approving smile. You 
 are now in the busy scenes of life ; no longer a young, 
 careless girl, acting without any thought or fear of the fu 
 ture, but engaged in more sober duties, which will tell on 
 your everlasting condition. 
 
 May God bless and keep you. My heart is almost too 
 full to write, while I think how years may pass away, and 
 I shall hear but little of that early friend with whom many 
 happy hours were passed. Our spheres will be widely 
 different. May we each pass our days in the love and ser 
 vice of our God, and at last, may we meet in joy, to mingle 
 our anthems of praise unto Him who has loved us, and 
 washed us in his own blood, and hath redeemed us from 
 sin. Yes, to that glorious Redeemer, may it be our eter 
 nal happiness to ascribe all honor and glory. Good bye, 
 my dear friend, my heart often prays for you 
 
 Your truly affectionate M." 
 
 TO THE SAME. 
 
 HARTFORD, July 21^, 1842. 
 
 u I feel, dear A., in parting from you, more than I can 
 express. You are going to a far distant land, where the 
 
166 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 gospel ordinances to which you have been accustomed, 
 will no more be present to draw you to God. You will be 
 where the religion of your fathers is despised. Dear A., 
 may the Lord keep you, and place around you his protect 
 ing arm, so that the adversary shall have no power to harm 
 you. Your future course, perhaps, does not look to you 
 as it does to me. I have deeply felt, ever since I knew 
 you were going to , the coldness that would imper 
 ceptibly creep over you in regard to spiritual things. They 
 will not be the less important because you may be insen 
 sible to them. The world may draw you into its whirl, 
 until you forget that there was a time in your youth when 
 you felt the importance of having a portion in the Saviour, 
 and the scenes in which you will mingle may so engross 
 your thoughts, that the whispers of God s spirit will not 
 arouse you. But there will still be a God in heaven, 
 whose eye will follow you, and the day of account will be 
 ever drawing nearer and nearer. Dear A., there may come 
 a time when the world shall be unfolded to you in its true 
 light, when you shall see it is not worthy of your soul. 
 O. then, when weary and sick at heart of its vanities, will 
 you not remember the Saviour, whose love it may not then 
 be too late to receive ? 
 
 I know not how to close, dear A. I feel more than I 
 can tell you. I shall pray for you without ceasing. May 
 God give you his blessing, and follow you in every path 
 you may take. 
 
 I have one little favor to ask, rny dear A., in parting. 
 This little Daily Food, I want to give you, with the re 
 quest, that you will learn a verse each day, and think that 
 your friend M. is learning the same. It will be a pleasant 
 bond of union, when the ocean wave rolls between us, to 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 167 
 
 know that the same bortion of Scripture is the comfort of 
 each. Farewell God bless you. 
 
 Ever yours, M." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " New Haven, Tuesday evening, August 30th. Once 
 more in my dear New Haven home, after a week full of 
 interest. Last Monday evening, in company with Dr. and 
 Mrs. F., left this place for Philadelphia. The full moon 
 was shining most gloriously over the dark waters of the 
 sound. When we were fairly started, I began to feel that 
 we were really going to our friends. It was too warm for 
 sleep, and all night, as I lay in my berth, I could look out 
 upon the waves and see the distant lights on the sound ; 
 and I continually thought of that song, Rock d in the 
 cradle of the deep. Early morning found us at New 
 York. After breakfasting on board, we went to the ferry 
 to take the cars for Philadelphia. Saw, in crossing the 
 ferry, the British ship War Spite, a noble vessel. I had 
 made up my mind to look at every thing I could, and to 
 learn all I could ; and certainly there never was a journey 
 better fitted for the furtherance of such a purpose than 
 that. 
 
 The day was uncommonly fine. The clouds floated over 
 the deep blue sky, and were reflected from the waters be 
 neath. It was a day of beauty and of glory. Our ride 
 in the cars was full of interest to me. Every thing seemed 
 novel. We passed through many places, and I enjoyed 
 looking in the highest degree. Then we took the boat at 
 Bordentown, and passed down the noble Delaware. Tis 
 a most beautiful river, lined with green trees, and verdant 
 meadows, and then the country seats and villages peeping 
 out, were so picturesque. I was never tired of gazing at 
 them. 
 
168 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 I shall never forget the beauty of that day the light 
 sails floating on that sunny river the soft clouds above us 
 the lovely scenery all around peaceful, but never grand. 
 We were approaching Bridesburg, and sat anxiously 
 looking for the boat which was to take us on shore. It 
 was a pleasant change from our large steamer into that 
 little boat, and to skip lightly over the water to the shore, 
 where Mr. D. was waiting for us. I was overjoyed to 
 reach that place, to which I had looked forward so often ; 
 but it was far more beautiful than I thought. 
 
 I have no words to describe Pine Grove, the residence of 
 Mr. D. The old venerable trees, tall, so tall they seemed 
 to rest upon the sky, the house, so antique, and just the 
 one to people with visitants from the spirit land. the beau 
 tiful opening to the river the willows sweeping their long 
 branches over the lawn all combined to make it one of 
 the finest places I ever saw. Then the perfect stillness 
 reigning there for the grounds are arranged so as to hide 
 every other house, even the most distant ; and it seems as 
 if there was no house within a mile. I stood by the win 
 dow, gazing out upon its beauty. Never before had such 
 majestic trees greeted my eye. We were all entranced, 
 and dear Mr. and Mrs. D. enjoyed our delight. Of the 
 happy days spent there, I can say but little. The remem 
 brance of those friends, will live like a fresh fountain of 
 gladness in my heart ; and of them I need no pen and ink 
 memento. 
 
 Thursday was very beautiful. Rode to the various 
 scenes of interest around the city. We saw in German- 
 town, old mansions, which must have stood before the 
 revolution and went through the valley of W., a most 
 wild and romantic spot. Then to Laurel Hill, the ceme 
 tery on the Schuylkill, with its beautiful trees and solemn 
 monuments a most interesting spot. The monuments in 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 169 
 
 white marble were exquisite: one of a little boy sleeping; 
 another, a rose-stalk with six buds, in memory of a mother 
 with her children resting there." 
 
 " Hartford, Oct. 13th. I have been looking over my 
 state of mind for the past few months, and I felt that a 
 day spent in this manner, and in forming such an estimate 
 of the duties to which I must attend, this coming season, 
 would not be unprofitable. My time has indeed been bro 
 ken in upon very much since the warm weather com 
 menced. Constant company until the last week in July. 
 Then I prepared to go to New Haven, and the third of 
 August found me there. Four weeks spent most delight 
 fully in New Haven and Philadelphia, passed quickly 
 away. 
 
 Thursday, the 15th of September, S. and M. W. spent 
 with me. In the evening, their brother T. came^tn, and 
 after staying a short time, took his sisters to pass the eve 
 ning at his cousin s. Little did we think it was the last 
 time he would pass our door. Friday morning, early, the 
 girls were up, for M. was to start for Salem. We parted 
 with kind and happy words, and no thought of the bitter 
 to-morrow sent its shadow over us. 
 
 After dinner on Saturday, came the sad, dreadful shock. 
 Poor W. and another young man were drowned. Myste 
 rious and deeply afflictive this bereavement has been. 
 After tea. went and staid with S. all night. Sabbath was 
 a, day long to be remembered. Oh. it seemed to us all, as 
 if life never could be any thing again. The body was 
 carried to Wethersfield at noon. A prayer was made by 
 my father at the house, before its removal. Never can 
 we forget that day. May we all remember the impressions 
 which sank into our souls, while we stood around the bier 
 
 15 
 
I 70 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP 
 
 of him who was so lately with us, in all the flow of life 
 and health. He was the only son of his widowed mother. 
 This solemn event saddened us all, and the approaching 
 wedding, where he was to have been, could not call back 
 our thoughts to gayety." 
 
 " Wednesday, Sept %\st., was dear H. s bridal day. 
 Spent the morning there to assist in arranging flowers, &c. 
 When I went again at evening, they were just putting on 
 her veil. There she stood for the last time as H. D. She 
 was very calm, and looked most beautifully. Then we 
 descended to the library, where Mr. P. and our grooms 
 men waited, and we prepared to go into the parlor 
 pinned on the white favors, and all was ready. I felt 
 what could not be put in words during the ceremony, and 
 prayed with my whole heart for their happiness, in the 
 path in which they should walk. Then came the wed 
 ding party, and we were in a crowd of company, while H. 
 met them all with sweet dignity and grace." 
 
 "Nov. 6tk. Our communion. We have passed a precious 
 Sabbath. My heart rests itself, and all its interests, on my 
 Saviour ; and I can look in and around, and feel calm in 
 the thought of his love, of all my blessings, of all the 
 gracious things in his kingdom, and in our eternal 
 home. My communions will be few in this dear place, but 
 may they prepare me for the more perfect communion in 
 heaven. Since tea, spent an hour in prayer for all the 
 dear friends who appointed to meet with me. What a 
 comfort to remember them, though far from us. Oh, God 
 is full of mercy to grant me these blessings. 
 
 And now I commit all my cares to God. My desire is, 
 to do all I can for him. Forgetting self persevering in 
 what I begin -feeling humble trusting in my Saviour. 
 These are my resolves. Oh, for grace and strength." 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 171 
 
 a Nov. Thanksgiving day. There are many thoughts 
 in my mind. I have been thinking all the morning of the 
 innumerable mercies which crown my life. I have bless 
 ings in friends, in opportunities for improvement, both men 
 tal and moral, in ways of usefulness, and last, though not 
 least, blessings in a spiritual sense. There are mingled 
 feelings this day. 
 
 Great God, thou art pouring upon my poor, unworthy 
 head, such blessings as fill me with shame, when I think 
 of my poor improvement of them. Wilt thou give me 
 strength to use them all in the way which will best glorify 
 thee. 
 
 One thing fills me with anxiety. Not one of all my 
 dear friends, who were not Christians last year, have be 
 come so this. Some of those over whom I have prayed, 
 are interested in religion, and will, I trust, show in future, 
 that their attention is not transient. But some who are 
 dear to me, remain yet away from Christ. O, may I work 
 while the day lasts, with a becoming zeal and untiring 
 spirit of love, for those over whom I have influence ; and 
 may I, should another thanksgiving find me in this world, 
 have the joy of seeing my desires fulfilled, in beholding 
 them safe in thy fold. 
 
 This may be the last I shall ever spend in this dear home 
 of the pilgrims. But ever shall I praise God, that he cast 
 my lot in this land, in these New England scenes, among 
 these glorious privileges. 
 
 And now, in view of all my blessings, I come, and with 
 grateful heart commit all my way unto the Lord, fully per 
 suaded that he will do all things rightly with regard to 
 the future. I can say that my chief desire is, so to use the 
 good and the ill, I may yet receive from his hand, that he 
 may be glorified, and his own perfect will be fulfilled with 
 regard to me. 
 
172 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 My dear father gave us a delightful sermon Who 
 maketh thee to differ? Just the right kind of sermon for 
 the day, and the best way to make us feel truly grateful. 
 When he closed, with the earnest hope and prayer for the 
 continued prosperity of our beloved country, and looked 
 forward, too, to the time in which we should meet around 
 that throne where no sin would mingle with the voices of 
 praise, my whole soul responded its amen to all, and I felt 
 I could gladly go forth from my native land, to labor and 
 die on a foreign soil, and cheerfully could trust my dearest 
 interests in the hand of God. 
 
 Immediately upon the close of his sermon, the last word 
 scarcely dying from his lips, the full organ swelled, and 
 the choir struck up the anthem, Blessing and honor, glory 
 and power, be unto Him who sitteth on the throne, and 
 untc the Lamb, forever and ever. 
 
 When I went to my room at night, I felt that it was 
 the pleasantest thanksgiving season I had ever enjoyed. 
 
 Dec. 4th. Talked with my dear mother of the future, 
 and had happy thoughts of our parting, and of my future 
 work. Much impressed with what Charlotte Elizabeth 
 says of private journals. She thinks they cannot be faith 
 ful, and may deceive us. Oh, may this not injure me ! I 
 write for the fixing in my mind events which I shall love 
 to recall, and I pray God I may never, by reading these 
 pages, be led to indulge a self complacent spirit. Let me 
 remember the sins which I have but imperfectly noticed, 
 and while they look me in the face, may I seek for peace 
 only through Jesus." 
 
 " Thursday, 8th, 4 P. M. I thank God for putting it 
 into my mind to keep this afternoon of the week as a time 
 for meditation, and the special reading of the Bible. I 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 173 
 
 have commenced studying the Bible anew,. and can truly 
 say that I find pleasure and profit thus far. If I look to 
 God, he can give me such knowledge as I need. May I 
 find him here in this season ! I long to know the truths 
 which lie hidden in his word, and I have been praying for 
 light, and also that I might come fully under Divine influ 
 ence, and be in all things subjected to God s holy will." 
 
 " Sabbath evening, Dec. \ 8th. These precious days which 
 are passing, how can I improve them aright ? When life 
 is only for once, and is so short, how full of importance ! 
 Eternity only will make us realize these things. But I 
 long here to see things as they are. What I want is a true 
 interest in the souls of my impenitent friends. I feel that 
 I have not yet learned the way to pray and labor for them, 
 and I am trying now to find out what Jesus would have me 
 do. Something seems to me wrong, for I have been pray 
 ing a long time, and yet see no results. And oh, the time 
 is so short !" 
 
 ki Fast-day, Dec. 30th, 1842. In reviewing the year, 
 I can truly say, goodness and mercy have followed me 
 all the way : and while I am deeply conscious of my own 
 ill desert, I hope I do not deceive myself, in thinking, that 
 I am on the whole in a better state, than when I wrote my 
 fast-day account one year ago. I would hope that there 
 is some more steadfastness ; not so much blown about ; that 
 I am some nearer Christ, and feel his dying love some 
 more, and the preciousness of redemption. I have had my 
 mind turned more to the Holy Spirit of late; and I do 
 hope I feel better about my missionary work. Yes, I do 
 thank God that it does seem delightful to be engaged for 
 Christ, and working in his vineyard, wherever he appoints. 
 I hope I feel a desire to go wherever he directs me, and do 
 
 15* 
 
174 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 whatever he thinks best, and if he would only go with 
 me, that I would be willing to go far away for the sake of 
 his cause. 
 
 There is a change, but oh, the work is far from com 
 plete, and yet, that it is begun, is cause for joy ; and I will 
 continue to trust my Saviour, and look more earnestly to 
 him alone, and ask him to search my heart, to root out all 
 evil, and fit me to do his holy will. If in any thing I am 
 more peaceful, and am better in my feelings, it is all owing 
 to the grace of God. Oh, I thank him, for bearing so long 
 with me, for preserving my life and my privileges to me. I 
 am resolved to keep my eye fixed on Jesus. Each year 
 makes him more precious, and shows me more clearly, that 
 he is my only hope. I am ready to sink without him, but 
 his love does encourage me to continue the conflict. One 
 side of the picture looks dark, but the other does look 
 bright ; but I will look alone to Jesus, who can make all 
 bright." 
 
 "Saturday, Dec. 3\st. Yesterday was a good day. 
 Our church in a good state, and some encouragement to 
 hope for a revival. On God s side all is ready ; may he 
 take every obstacle from our hearts. The prayers were 
 solemn and the crowded room seemed filled with the pres 
 ence of God. 
 
 It may be the blessing waits even now. God knows 
 what the year will bring. My prayer is, O let me be fully 
 
 devoted to Jesus and his cause, and may my be a 
 
 Christian. Yet my desires stop not with his conversion ; 
 my dear class, my friends, this dear people, the whole world. 
 How sweet to think, that though our fondest projects may 
 fail, yet Jesus cause will go on, and will come to a com 
 plete accomplishment. Yes, The kingdoms of this world 
 will become the kingdoms of our Lord and of his Christ, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 175 
 
 and he shall reign. And in this kingdom let me and my 
 dear friends cast all our interests." 
 
 11 Jan. 1st, 1843. This morning was our communion, 
 and it did seem pleasant to have it come on the first day 
 of the year. We sang Our God, our help in ages past, a 
 sublime hymn, and On Jordan s stormy banks I stand. 
 My dear fathers sermon was from Colos. i. 12; showing 
 what was necessary in order to be prepared for the happi 
 ness of heaven. I could answer all the solemn tests with 
 some satisfaction. 
 
 It was sweet to be around His table, and I did enter with 
 my whole soul into the consecration of myself to Christ ; 
 and I did pray, that when the year came round again, I 
 might be engaged for him far away among the heathen. 
 These precious privileges, these dear friends, are very dear 
 to me, but I do hope I can leave them all, and I pray God 
 that I may not be in the slightest thing deceived about my 
 state. I have resolved to go no step alone. I consecrate 
 to Jesus, my time, my studies, my friends, my earthly store, 
 and ask him to guide me every moment. O, he whose 
 love brought him to die for us, will he not give us all 
 things necessary to enable us to live for him ? O, I know 
 he will. My only resolution, or rather all my resolutions, 
 are comprised in this one thing, trust in Christ, daily and 
 hourly. , 
 
 My class were all present this morning. We spent our 
 hour in serious personal conversation. I talked with each 
 one of my dear girls, and tried to get them to begin this 
 day to do right. I have trembling hope for three. May 
 God guide each one. I fear they may be suddenly called 
 away. May I be faithful the little time that remains. 
 
 And now I give up myself, and all my dear friends, and 
 my interests to Jesus, praying that this may be a year of 
 
176 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the right hand of the Most High ; that his kingdom may 
 come, not only here, but in all our world. Amen. 
 
 I must notice the beautiful day which smiles upon us. 
 The sky is bright and softly blue, and the snow lies upon 
 the ground, and gives a sweet, home-like aspect to all the 
 dwellings around. Yes, all is calm and bright and beauti 
 ful. My Father makes it all. And He who makes the 
 natural world so lovely, is making the moral world shine 
 brighter and brighter, and all the dark clouds of pollution 
 shall be chased away. One thing I like, and tis that I 
 am learning to read the revealed word of God, as well as 
 the natural word, and I am thankful that I am beginning 
 better to comprehend and love its sacred pages. 
 
 I must notice also, that on Saturday, I received from my 
 dear friends such a testimonial of their love and interest in 
 me, and of their love to the cause in which I hope we are 
 all engaged, that I was overwhelmed with emotions. How 
 sweet to have these dear friends, and sweet to spend an 
 eternity in heaven with them." 
 
 " Jan. \5th. I have refrained from writing in my journal, 
 because it wearied me but I think these few weeks have 
 been among the most interesting of my life. I wish I had 
 a connected account of recent events, for I should love 
 to remember them when far away. I intended to have 
 squared off old accounts the last year, and begun afresh 
 in my journal, but many duties prevented. On Friday, 
 Jan. 6th, I was invited to spend an evening in a large circle 
 of friends, where they were to dance. I felt sorry to have 
 these circles just now, when we are hoping that there is a 
 little revival. Could not go feared I was getting severe. 
 O, to think of my setting up for a censor ! It troubled me 
 to stand aloof from my friends, and to be obliged to show 
 them I did not approve of dancing. Several times of late 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 177 
 
 have been so tried very few of my friends think as I do. 
 In time past I have had much perplexity, and much thought 
 on the subject, but my mind is made up. 
 
 Sabbath, heard a solemn sermon from father, from the 
 text He is joined to his idols, let him alone. 
 
 After dinner, as I sat in my room, mother opened the 
 door, and told me with tears in her eyes, that F. had come 
 to see father, completely overcome, in an agony of feeling, 
 impressed during the sermon. How I then hoped with 
 trembling. I could only pray and when I thought how 
 many conflicting feelings were in his heart, the pride, the 
 world, I could hardly believe it would be possible for him to 
 change. But what is impossible with man, is possible with 
 God. 
 
 On Tuesday evening, on returning from the lecture, we 
 found F. with my mother, in the parlor. But how changed ! 
 Gentle, subdued his voice tender, and he appeared com 
 pletely absorbed in the one subject. Mother had been 
 reading to him, and he had been several times in tears. 
 As he retired with my father for private conversation, we 
 spent the time in trembling thought and prayer. I could 
 only think of this verse ; and it was in my mind, with a 
 power before unknown, * With God all things are possi 
 ble, but not with man. 
 
 That night, at evening worship, some expressions of my 
 father s showed that he hoped that F. had at last found 
 rest. O, this was too good to be believed ! That F. was 
 now a Christian a ransomed one could it be true ? That 
 night, the prayers of months, of two years, had been gra 
 ciously, most wonderfully, most sweetly answered. I speak 
 not of my own prayers. Too much sin had been in mine, 
 for me. to hope much in regard to them. But others had 
 prayed. There had been some, who had had their thoughts 
 turned particularly to this stranger in our midst. Has not 
 
] 78 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 God something for him to do? How wonderful is his 
 working !" 
 
 " Thursday, IZth. F. came in, so happy, so changed, 
 that I could not believe it was he. He gave us some ac 
 count of his feelings. The case is truly wonderful. May 
 God give him grace to hold out. He played and sang 
 * Return, O wanderer, return, told how unworthy he was, 
 how wonderful it was that God should change his heart of 
 sin. His eyes were full of tears many times. He could 
 not think of Jesus wonderful love, without thinking of his 
 own sins. * He long d to devote his all to him. Said it 
 was the sweetest enjoyment to kneel down and pray ; to 
 take his Bible and read. All looked well still, felt 
 how much he needed God s strength, to keep him from 
 falling. 
 
 On Wednesday, the 18th, T. called to see my father. 
 She was indulging a hope was impressed by the same 
 sermon, and same part which had affected F. Surely, 
 God is wonderful in working. She is very intelligent, and 
 the workings of her mind are very deep. Had a few words 
 with her. She told me how differently she felt towards 
 me from what she used to. She once almost hated me, 
 because I wrote her a religious note in school. I had for 
 gotten the circumstance. It was some years since five, 
 I think." 
 
 " Wednesday, 25th. This day is set apart by the North 
 and Centre Churches, as a day of fasting and prayer. We 
 need such a season very much, for we feel our churches are 
 not in the best state for a revival. We are hoping and 
 praying, and doing something, but we feel that we need to 
 be converted anew ourselves, before we can enter, as we 
 should, into the work. It is very evident that God is ready 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 179 
 
 to bless us, if we do not, by our coldness, hold him back. 
 Oh ! this must not be !" 
 
 TO M. S. 
 
 Sabbath, Jan. 29M, 1843. 
 
 " My dear M. I have felt, this morning, that I must 
 write you a note just as we used to do long ago. Does it 
 not seem as if God has a blessing for our classes, if we 
 will only be faithful, and pray and labor without fainting ? 
 May he give us strength, and the willing, earnest mind, to 
 engage in all that he points out for us. We can commit 
 these dear children to him, and beseech him to receive 
 them as his own. But O, I tremble, lest we may not feel 
 and act as we ought. Dear M., let us continue to join our 
 prayers for their conversion. I am sure we may pray with 
 the expectation of a blessing ; for does not Jesus love their 
 souls far better than we do ? Yes, and we pray to One who 
 not only loves, but who has given himself to die for them, 
 for us all. He can raise us from our ruin, and make us 
 free from sin. Oh, blessed emancipation ! To be free from 
 sin ! from all which separates our souls from Him who is 
 the fountain of holiness and life." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " Monday, Jan. 30/A. The reading, yesterday, of Ed 
 wards Life, has awakened new feelings, and caused me 
 much sorrow. I found my love to God and Christ so far 
 below his, that I determined to go directly and search 
 the matter out in my heart, and see whether I had any 
 reason to hope, and whether I had not been deceived all 
 my life. 
 
 I have had a solemn and heart-searching time. I have 
 been in bitterness of spirit, but I am glad and only glad 
 that I read this book. I long to be a whole Christian, not 
 
180 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 a half, undecided one. Oh ! how dishonorable to God, 
 how ungrateful to the Saviour who died for me ! Some 
 times I think I have not yet seen enough of myself and 
 these trials are to show me. I think it is only doing God s 
 will, which will satisfy my heart. I remember his sweet 
 promise of the Holy Spirit to those who ask. Will he not 
 grant it to me ? 
 
 Dear Saviour, here on this day I long to give my whole 
 being to thee, without any reservation. I shall be happy 
 only when thou takest me, all that I am, and all that I 
 have." 
 
 TO c. c. 
 
 HARTFORD, Feb. 20th, 1843. 
 
 "I have thought much of you, dear C., during these 
 weeks in which the Spirit of God is blessing your town. I 
 wish that we were enjoying a refreshing from on high but 
 I hope you are careful not to do too much. I never would 
 do again as I did during our revival two years ago ; and yet 
 I cannot be sorry for what I then did, for I would not for 
 worlds give up the experience of that blessed winter. It 
 is very hard indeed to keep in the right line. A fear of not 
 improving the peculiar blessings of a revival, leads on the 
 one hand to a constant activity ; and on the other hand, 
 the fear that nature will sink under it, makes us want to 
 rest some ; and so we are continually wavering, (that is, I 
 am, I hope you do better) between the two. I sometimes 
 think that the old saying, we may as well die one way as 
 another, is the best one for me to act upon, and so be re 
 lieved from this constant struggle. Happy indeed shall we 
 be in that blessed world, where there will be no sinking, 
 decaying nature to trouble and draw away our thoughts. 
 Till that world is reached, we must toil on, sometimes 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 181 
 
 mounting joyfully to heaven, and sometimes drooping, and 
 sad, and weary in this land of sin and temptation. 
 
 I must tell you, that last week I had a most lovely let 
 ter from my dear Marion. I shall never in this world see 
 her again and yet I have become strangely accustomed 
 to this thought. Is it because I really feel heaven to. be 
 near, and this life s separation a short one ? or is it because 
 I have become indifferent to these partings ? We were as 
 near sisters as we could be, and when she went away it 
 seemed as if the best part of my life had gone with her. 
 I wish you knew her. 
 
 This is the day that Isabella* is to be married, and the 
 next week on Tuesday, she sails in the Emma Isadora, for 
 Smyrna. I have lived all this month in thoughts of her. 
 I am reading Harriet NewelPs life too. So young ! only 
 nineteen and such a sweet, happy Christian. Does it not 
 require great grace, to turn away from every earthly thing, 
 and say, Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is 
 none upon the earth I desire beside thee. It is this entire 
 devotion to the Saviour which animated the first heralds of 
 the Cross, that I long to feel and yet I am only groping 
 my way along, through toils and through tears ; sometimes 
 feeling the love of Jesus, but often full of sorrow at my poor 
 attempts at loving and serving him, who is worthy to re 
 ceive the affections and the homage of all hearts in the 
 universe. For this I daily strive and watch and pray 
 and will you not, too, pray for your friend ? 
 
 I want to thank you in my piano s name for your re 
 membrance to it. It is ready to return the sound in the 
 sweetest manner it is capable of, if you will only listen. 
 Will it be waking the echoes of a foreign land next year? 
 I suppose you would say, this is a question M. can answer 
 better than I. " 
 
 * Now Mrs. Bliss, at Trebizond. 
 
 16 
 
182 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 "Feb. 2lst, 1843. To-day I have been looking over 
 my state, and trying to give up myself anew to God. I 
 have been looking over my past life, and I feel the deepest 
 sorrow in view of my continual vileness, and my preferring 
 my own will to God s. Though my outward conduct has 
 been correct, yet this has been manifested in a thousand 
 different ways. When I view my life, and think how it 
 has been filled with infinite love and goodness on the part 
 of God, and with continual sin and ingratitude on my part, 
 I am overcome with sorrow particularly that when called 
 to the Missionary work, I did not rejoice and devote myself 
 gladly to it, but shrank back, and preferred my own ease. 
 For this I can never cease to feel the greatest shame and 
 sorrow, and, I trust, the deepest penitence. I have wept 
 and prayed over it many times and to-day it has been 
 again in my thoughts, standing out among the dark lists of 
 sin in my past life. I do beseech God, in his infinite mercy, 
 for Christ s sake, to blot out the past; and I earnestly 
 entreat him to give me now a sense of his pardoning love. 
 
 I have been endeavoring to yield up my soul into the 
 hands of Jesus, that I may begin now with full purpose of 
 obedience to be the Lord s. I desire to place him first, and 
 I do not know of one single thing that I am not happy, or 
 at least willing, to give up, and my heart approves of it, 
 and I feel I cannot be happy in any other course. To God 
 my Father, my Saviour, my Sanctifier, I do now yield my 
 self entirely, desiring only to be in his hands, to have no 
 will of my own, but to do his own blessed will, from this 
 time forth and forever more. And now, trusting in atoning 
 blood to wash away the guilt of the past, and trusting in 
 an Almighty friend to keep me with regard to the future, I 
 commit myself and all my interests to his safe keeping. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 1 83 
 
 I renew my resolutions, my principles of action I would 
 rather call them, made more than a year ago. I have lived 
 very poorly indeed in accordance with them, yet I do desire 
 still to be guided by them and by Good s help I will keep 
 them but oh, by his help alone, for I am all weakness. 
 
 And now I have given up all to Christ. I have made a 
 full consecration. I hope I am no longer half persuaded, 
 but all persuaded to be his, entirely and forever ; and yet, 
 I never felt my weakness and sin as I do now." 
 
 "March 5th. The light is fading of a precious com 
 munion Sabbath ! How much has happened in these two 
 months ! What encouragement have we to go on, still 
 hoping, toiling, trusting, till the end come ! In the midst 
 of the various and conflicting feelings, which for these two 
 months have been agitating my mind, I think I can see the 
 leadings of God s blessed Spirit. I hope I find in my heart 
 this day a more ardent desire to be wholly devoted to Jesus. 
 
 During these two months, F. and T. have become Chris 
 tians. How little did I think, last communion, that I could 
 count this among our blessings, when next the day came. 
 Surely, God is full of love, and shall I not go on, and have 
 strong faith that all my dear friends may be led to the 
 Saviour, until our circle shall be safe in the fold, and not 
 our circle only, but millions of others, until this whole 
 world knows the Lord our God 1 Several, too, of my young 
 friends, are becoming more decided in their" Christian feel 
 ings, and exhibit pleasing evidence of being God s children. 
 May Jesus take them and lead them straight to heaven. 
 And the good Spirit is gently touching our hearts, reviving 
 the graces of his children, and calling those who are far 
 away from God to return. 
 
 These two months have been marked by mercies out 
 wardly, and the inward strivings of my heart have been 
 
184 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 marked by mercy too. And now I do commit myself to a 
 Saviour, who can save me. And I surrender to him all I 
 am, and all I have, to be his forever. With God I leave 
 all my friends and myself and in his hands we are safe." 
 
 " Saturday, March \\th. I am here in New Haven, with 
 my dear Mrs. F. She is very feeble, but we trust her in 
 God s hands." 
 
 " Sabbath, YZtli. This morning; heard the blue birds sing 
 ing. How pleasant is the returning spring ! may it bring 
 spring to our souls. May God s Spirit breathe upon us, 
 and awaken us to a new life. 
 
 I have had some interesting conversation with my dear 
 Mrs. F., but she is very feeble. I feel continual solicitude 
 in her behalf. She is hardly out of my thoughts night or 
 day. I watch her every moment, but her physician thinks 
 more favorably of her case." 
 
 "Hartford, April IQth. 1843. My birth-day, and I am 
 twenty -two years old. I have many thoughts to-day, and 
 yet I see that time does soften and chasten our feelings ; 
 for I view the past and the future in a far calmer manner 
 than I have ever been able to do before. The past is full 
 of blessings on God s part, and I hope I have some grati 
 tude. And it is indeed full of sin, and I hope I have some 
 suitable sense* of it. May I from this time forth make a 
 holy use of all that God grants me, looking only to Jesus 
 for pardon, for strength, for happiness. I have many sweet 
 blessings to notice in the past year. Oh, how good is my 
 Saviour. To him I do indeed surrender all. May his 
 kingdom come, and his holy will be done in this sinful 
 world, and may all I learn, and all I do, be for the further 
 ance of this great object. The future, all to us unknown, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 185 
 
 I commit to his care. He will bring events as seemeth 
 him good. I am not anxious. This is probably my last 
 birth-day in this dear home ; but God gives me strength to 
 contemplate it peacefully ; and I hope I can say, my chief 
 desire for myself and all my friends is, to be employed in 
 doing God s will." 
 
 " June 3(M. I had not intended to write any more in 
 my journal, for it occupied so much of my time so I closed 
 it on my birth-day. But I think on such occasions as the 
 communion Sabbaths, &c., it would be well for me to note 
 a few of the more important events which occur, both in 
 the inner and outer world. 
 
 These two months which have passed since our last 
 communion have been marked by innumerable mercies. 
 My time has passed for the last few weeks in a very even 
 way, both without and within, but before that I was some 
 of the time tempest-tost. Yet it does seem to me I have 
 advanced some. Since the last communion, I have learned 
 more what it is to abide in Christ. I have been helped 
 some with regard to my selfishness, and find it easier and 
 pleasanter to live for others, than ever before. There is 
 still trouble in my heart, that the Bible is too much a sealed 
 book to me. Over this I pray daily and earnestly. I feel 
 that I have but begun, in every thing. I do hope that 
 God s Holy Spirit has renewed my heart, but I am very 
 faint and sinful, and can scarcely keep along in the path in 
 which it is my earnest desire to walk. But I try to look 
 at Christ. And what I have been resolving on is, to abide 
 in him through all things. 
 
 I am happy in seeing my young friends coming one by 
 one into the kingdom of Jesus. E. joined the church last 
 May, and next Sabbath C. will also. The others of this 
 young circle continue their interest in divine things and 
 
 16* 
 
186 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the number is increasing. O, may God keep them, and 
 lead them all to heaven. 
 
 I have been able to accomplish many things, and there 
 are some more which I wish to finish before H. comes. 
 But I try to be patient about them all, trusting in Christ, 
 that he will help me in every thing needful. Oh, I long to 
 be fully devoted to this blessed Saviour. 
 
 May I and my friends be engaged in doing his will ; 
 then, whatever comes, all will be right." 
 
 Here ends the journal ; a manuscript of about five hun 
 dred pages, compactly written, in which the principal events 
 of two and a half years of her short life are briefly noticed, 
 together with the influence which these had upon her 
 Christian character. 
 
 She seems to have had two reasons for keeping it. One 
 was, as she has said, that she might have the satisfaction 
 of recalling scenes and events contained in it, when she 
 should "be far away." And the other, that she might be 
 able - to mark with more distinctness, her progress in the 
 divine life. The foregoing extracts are, of course, but a 
 small portion of the whole, but they are sufficient to show 
 the tenor of her daily life with this exception, however, 
 that she judged of her conduct by the motives which influ 
 enced her, and not by actual results ; and has given her 
 own impressions of herself, rather than the impressions of 
 others with regard to her; and while she has treated with 
 unsparing severity, her faults and imperfections, she has 
 scarcely noticed the daily routine of active and benevolent 
 duties which graced her life. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 PREPARATIONS FOR LEAVING HOME, MARRIAGE AND DEPARTURE. 
 TO M. 
 
 HARTFORD, June 9M, 1843. 
 
 " Mv dear sister, Since I wrote you last, I have had 
 time to do a great many things. I wish I could send you 
 a daguerreotype likeness of my life for the year past, for 
 there are many things in it I want you should know. My 
 winter was taken up in preparations for leaving home. 
 Thanks to good friends, I have had very little sewing to 
 do, for they insisted upon doing nearly every thing for me ; 
 and you may be sure it has been a great relief to mother 
 as well as to myself. I wish you could see the beautiful 
 gifts I have had. Not a week passes without bringing 
 some token of love from some one or more of my friends. 
 They have remembered many things that I had not thought 
 of as necessary, so that my Eastern home will be most 
 beautifully supplied with articles for my personal comfort. 
 
 I spent nearly all the month of March in New Haven, 
 with my dear Mrs. Fitch, who is very ill indeed. Death 
 must come into these happy circles ; but it is blessed to 
 look at this world only as our state of trial, and to remem 
 ber the world where rest will come. And is it not sweet 
 to trust ourselves and our friends in the hands of One who 
 metes out all our changes in wisdom and in love ? He has 
 His own blessed designs to fiulfil ; is carrying on his own 
 cause in our world ; and if He sees it to be necessary for the 
 
188 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 triumph of truth and holiness that we suffer, then let us 
 trust ourselves in His hands, and feel that He will give 
 us strength to bear all which He sees fit to lay upon us in 
 this our mortal life. 
 
 I scarcely dare look forward a few weeks. H. is prob 
 ably now on the ocean. Dear M., were you by my side, 
 how much we could recount of all the way in which the 
 Lord our God has led us. When I think of all that has 
 passed in my life, I can only thank my Father in Heaven 
 for all his mercies ; and I feel that I am the least of al*, 
 and the most unworthy of such blessings. 
 
 * ******* 
 
 I find in closing that I have not begun to say what I 
 wished. I intended to have told you about my missionary 
 work, but that I must leave till a future time. We shall 
 be engaged chiefly with the Armenians. I feel an increas 
 ing interest in that .part of the missionary field, and O, I 
 hope, my dear M., that I shall have strength to consecrate 
 my whole life to the service of Christ, and may be the in 
 strument of some good to that benighted people. 
 
 During the past month, I have been seeing many of my 
 dear friends, and O, my heart twines around them so, that 
 if I did not trust in Jesus to bear me through the parting, 
 I could never leave them ; but I look to Him, and I can 
 trust all that I love in His hands, and feel that we are all 
 united in the same glorious cause, and have the same 
 heavenly home in view. You, my dear M., will ever live 
 in my heart of hearts, and the memory of those days 
 which we spent together I shall ever cherish as among the 
 sweetest of my life." 
 
 TO MISS B. 
 
 " My dear Miss B., It would very poorly accord with 
 my feelings to write a formal note of thanks to the friends 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 189 
 
 who have so kindly united with you in your labor of love ; 
 and yet I wish in some way to express my gratitude for 
 the unwearied efforts which have been made to render my 
 home on missionary ground comfortable and pleasant. 
 Will you tell the ladies from me, that I shall ever carry the 
 remembrance of their kindness in my heart, and that I do 
 not cease to pray that God may reward and bless them? 
 It will be a comfort to me to know that I am remembered 
 in your prayers, for I feel more and more every day my 
 need of strength from above to prepare me for the duties 
 which may soon devolve upon me. Life is of so little im 
 portance unless spent for the glory of God, that I long to 
 have every moment of mine occupied in doing His will. 
 
 Oh, how sweet it will be, when this life is over, and 
 when all the redeemed are gathered to their home in heaven, 
 to meet those we have loved here, and spend an eternity 
 with them in the praise and service of Christ. Then, it 
 will be joy to us to reflect, that in our feeble manner we 
 were able to do something for the kingdom of holiness and 
 peace which God is setting up in this world." 
 
 When Mary was called to contemplate the missionary 
 field as the scene of her future labors, before deciding to 
 enter upon it, she examined her qualifications for the work 
 with great carefulness and fidelity. The work of missions 
 was in her estimation a great work ; and the preparation 
 which she deemed necessary for entering upon it, was 
 something more than external accomplishments, or piety 
 even ; she felt that there must be a love for the work it 
 self ; a preference of it to any other work, and a willing 
 ness to make personal sacrifices whenever the salvation of 
 souls or the cause of Christ should in any way require it. 
 As has been seen by notices in her journal, she had a con 
 stant sense of her dependence on divine aid in all her efforts 
 
190 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 to promote the spiritual welfare of others ; especially was 
 this true when contemplating her qualifications for the 
 work of missions. She had from early youth been a de 
 voted, self-denying laborer in the vineyard of Christ at 
 home, but now that her field was about being changed, 
 and God was calling her " to the deeply responsible work 
 of glorifying Him among those who knew Him not," she 
 felt a new and increased sense of dependence upon Him 
 for aid ; and under a deep conviction of utter helplessness 
 if left to herself, she " resolved not to go one step alone, 
 but if Jesus would only go with her, then she would be 
 willing to go far away for the sake of His cause." 
 
 But her preparation was but in part completed when 
 she decided with regard to her qualifications for laboring 
 in a foreign field. Another and a heavy responsibility she 
 felt to be resting upon her a responsibility which she 
 might not put off lightly, or lay aside without seeking 
 counsel and strength from above. Providence had opened 
 before her a wide field of usefulness in her native place, 
 and had qualified her well to fill it ; and she loved to labor 
 in it, and was daily seeing results which brought joy to 
 her heart, and encouraged her to go forward. 
 
 Her Sabbath-school class, how could she leave this 
 without knowing that each dear pupil was safe in the fold ? 
 She had a trembling hope for three of the youthful mem 
 bers of her class, and she must find one who would be able 
 to watch over and guide these ; and who should also have 
 warm hearted piety, that so she might win to the Saviour 
 those whom she herself must leave strangers to Him. 
 
 The dear circle of intimate friends who met weekly in 
 her room to unite with her in coming to the throne of 
 grace, would these continue to meet together in another 
 place of prayer, to remember her as well as themselves, 
 when she should no longer meet with them? and the 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 191 
 
 friends who were still out of Christ, for whose conversion 
 she had been laboring and praying a long time, how could 
 she leave them thus ? 
 
 Among other benevolent objects was one which was 
 dear to her on many accounts. It was a youthful sewing 
 circle, who met at stated times to work for the " Grand 
 Ligne Mission." In this circle she felt at home ; each 
 member was to her as a younger sister ; and she had pre 
 sided over it with untiring cheerfulness from its com 
 mencement. Finding it impossible to obtain one to take 
 her place, she continued to preside over it until near the 
 time of her leaving home, and then was obliged to commit 
 the dear little circle to Providence and their own efforts. 
 
 A number of young girls met with her weekly to unite 
 in prayer. Several of these were members of her class in 
 the Sabbath school. It is delightful to recollect that some 
 of the number continued to meet at the same hour, and in 
 the same place where she so often met with them, until 
 after her removal from this world ; and there is reason to 
 believe that having knelt with her here at the throne of 
 grace, they will one day bow with her before the throne 
 of glory. 
 
 When she committed to God the interests which were 
 dear to her, as she so often was wont to do, all these, and 
 more also were included, and there was a deeper meaning 
 than the mere words implied. 
 
 But these interests, dear as they were, and difficult as 
 she found it to dispose of them, were yet in her estimation 
 not the greatest which she was called upon to resign. 
 Ties stronger than these must be broken. To a friend she 
 writes thus ; " I find that my heart clings so strongly to my 
 home, that I shrink from the future. I could bear it for 
 myself, but for these dear parents, I feel every day, that 
 I cannot go and leave them." But the leadings of 
 
192 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 providence were direct and clear, and the parents of 
 Mary thought it right and felt it a pleasure to smooth 
 the path before her, and to yield her up to the call of duty. 
 Mary was married to the Rev. Henry J. Van Lennep, a 
 missionary under the patronage of the American Board, 
 Sept. 4th, 1843, and sailed with him, accompanied by her 
 father, in October following, for Smyrna. A few extracts 
 from last letters to friends, will give the reader some slight 
 idea of the events attendant upon her leaving home, and 
 also of her feelings at the time. 
 
 TO M. 
 
 HARTFORD, Sept. 22, 1843. 
 
 " I have seized my pen while H. is marking our trunks, 
 to tell you in some hasty lines what I have been longing 
 to tell you in a whole sheet. Dear M., you can imagine, 
 without my telling you particularly, the occupation, and 
 excitement, and overwhelming care and thought, which 
 have attended these few months ; and you will not won 
 der that in the midst of it all, I could not sit down and 
 write to an absent friend. 
 
 You probably know that Sept. 4th was our wedding- 
 day. We started the next day for the Falls, taking 
 Rochester and the meeting of the American Board on our 
 return. The meetings at R. were very interesting, and 
 we formed some delightful Christian acquaintances. Our 
 journey was, as you may well suppose, full of deep interest. 
 And now we are lingering for a few days in our beloved 
 home, with the precious circle of our relatives and friends 
 around us, soon to bid adieu to all. O, may God strengthen 
 them and us for the parting. 
 
 You will not forget to pray for your friends who are so 
 soon to be removed from the privileges of a Christian land. 
 May we be faithful to our God, and to the cause to which 
 
MRS. MARY B. VAN LENNEP. 193 
 
 we devote our lives. Dear M.. pray for my poor father 
 and mother. There is a world where we may all be happy 
 together. We try to fix our eyes on that world. May 
 those who have been the light and support of my way 
 through all my early years may they reach that home 
 where all the redeemed shall rest in peace. 
 
 Dear M.. we are both united in the best of caiises. Let 
 us trust our Saviour. O, M., remember my father and 
 mother; write to them often. Don t forget our Sabbath 
 evenings. Good bye. God bless you. 
 
 Ever your friend and sister. 
 M. E. V. L " 
 
 TO MRS. F. 
 
 Sept. 27th, 1843. 
 
 "My dear Aunt S. We are on the eve of our departure, 
 and the day after to-morrow, we take our last look of our 
 dear home. The piano and my little bureau are now being 
 packed, and our house is very sad indeed. I have come to 
 my room to say my parting words to my dear, dear friend. 
 How much I shall want to see you! How often my 
 thoughts will fly back to New Haven, and will seek your 
 room ; and when we are tossing on the ocean. I shall turn 
 to the quiet homes of my friends and give them many 
 thoughts, but not regrets. Oh. no, I am not sorry I am 
 going. I am not afraid of the deep, dark waves. I have 
 committed my way to the Lord, and my trust is in Him ; 
 and my prayer to Him is, that my selfish heart may be 
 come pure and disinterested, ready to take hold of any la 
 bor that will advance his kingdom and glory. 
 
 My dear aunt S., you know how I remember your words 
 of counsel : how I have laid up in my heart all the trea 
 sures, which intercouse with you through many years has 
 collected. May God reward you for the good you have 
 
 17 
 
194 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 done me. You and dear Dr. F. have been precious friends 
 to me. 
 
 I have not begun to tell you what I wish, but I shall 
 try to find time on board ship to write you a long letter. 
 May God take us all safely through this changing world, 
 and bring us to His heavenly kingdom. To Him I trust 
 the future. To His care I commit my dear parents and 
 brother; He can supply all their need. Oh, you know 
 what we all feel now. Pray for us. 
 
 Ever your affectionate, 
 
 MARY E. -V. L." 
 
 The parting from the home of her childhood can never 
 be put on paper. Often as the scene occurs, it comes 
 with a first painful freshness to every one who passes 
 through it ; and to one who has not felt what it is, it can 
 never be described with any thing like the overwhelming 
 reality. 
 
 After leaving home, Mary spent a week very pleasantly 
 amongst friends in Boston, and from that place, sailed for 
 her eastern home the eleventh of October. 
 
 The morning of that day rose clear and bright adieus 
 had all been spoken ; the last parting with the parent who 
 was to be left behind had been anticipated ; the secret 
 chamber and the presence of God only having been wit 
 ness to that scene ; and now only the public exercises on 
 board remained to be performed. 
 
 At 10 o clock the deck of the Stamboul was thronged 
 with sympathizing friends, who were there, not so much to 
 give and take the parting look, as to commend the little 
 company who were to encounter the perils of the deep, 
 and some of whom were to take up their residence in a far 
 distant land, to the protection and blessing of God. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 195 
 
 The prayer was offered, the parting hymn was sung, 
 the vessel was loosed from her hold, and bore away on her 
 outward course. As she swept by the projecting wharf, 
 Mary was seated on the deck, her husband and father 
 standing protectingly by her on either side ; but her heart 
 was not with them then. One object on the shore riveted 
 her attention. It was her mother. A friend who wit 
 nessed the scene, in speaking of it afterwards to that 
 mother, said, " She looked as if she would, have taken her 
 heart out, and left it with you." A mother s feelings in 
 parting from a daughter in such circumstances have been 
 expressed by the poet in a manner strikingly true and 
 beautiful : 
 
 " Yet go, my spirit goes with thee ! 
 Yet go, thy spirit stays with me !" 
 
 One white signal seen through the shrouds of other 
 vessels, marked the path of the Stamboul, as she gently 
 glided along amidst the dense forest of masts which lined 
 the harbor. At length she was seen through an opening 
 vista, in bold relief on the clear blue sky, all her canvas 
 spread, and every sail filled. Another turn, and that bark 
 with its precious freight disappeared from the straining eye. 
 
 TO HER MOTHER, BY THE PILOT BOAT. 
 
 BOSTON HARBOR, Oct. \\th, 1843. 
 
 " My dear Mother. I write in full view of Boston, where 
 you are, and am sitting where last you saw me, looking 
 on the waves, the clear sky, the city all is beautiful! 
 and God is with us, and with you, and He will keep us 
 united in heart. 
 
 Dear mother, my own dear mother, you are not sorry 
 we are going. You know why we go. It is not for our 
 own pleasure ; it is God who has appointed our way ; 
 
196 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and I do think we go for Him, and shall live for him in 
 every thing. 
 
 Dear mother, pray that we may be wholly devoted to 
 our Saviour ; that the salvation of all may appear so im 
 portant to us, that we shall be alwaj^s earnestly engaged 
 in leading many to Christ. Pray that we may never for 
 get the object of our mission. Good bye, my precious 
 mother, we are all in God s hand, and he can sustain us. 
 I have not a fear if God will only enable us to do right. 
 
 Two o clock. My dear Mother. The beautiful breeze 
 which took us from the wharf died away soon after, and 
 now we are becalmed in the harbor. I remained on deck 
 a little while after writing your note, and then came down 
 and arranged the things in our state-room. Then H. came, 
 and we read together the 14th chapter of John. Isn t it 
 a sweet chapter ? Since then I have been on deck till just 
 now, looking at Boston at the State-House, and I knew 
 that Mrs. B/s, where you were, was near there. It is a 
 dear land, and I could not bear the thought of leaving it 
 and you, if I did not feel that God had ordered it, and that 
 He would go with me and make me useful. When we 
 sat on deck, I heard the waves dashing on the shore with 
 a ceaseless rush. 
 
 My mother, when you go back to H. and the house 
 seems lonely, do not think you are alone, for my heart is 
 with you. God will keep us, and we shall meet again. 
 Blessed thought! we certainly shall meet again, if we 
 trust in Christ and are faithful to Him, where there are no 
 more partings. Dear E., God keep him and make him a 
 Christian. 
 
 Once more, my dear mother, good bye. 
 
 Your own daughter, 
 
 MARY." 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 EXTRACT OF A JOURNAL KEPT WHILE CROSSING THE ATLANTIC 
 
 BARK STAMBOUL, October 21^, 1843. 
 
 " MY dearest mother, This evening is the first time I 
 have been able to succeed in commencing the journal to 
 which we have looked forward with an interest both pain 
 ful and pleasant. And you see by my writing that the 
 motion of the vessel prevents my doing it very easily. But 
 I do so long to write you what is passing ! I have thought 
 so many long letters to you since we parted, that I must 
 begin, spite of all the difficulties. Oh, how beautiful my 
 home looks ! How blessed all the days that I have spent 
 there ! My heart returns to it with such a longing that at 
 times the separation is almost insupportable. But I do not 
 want to fill my journal with these things, neither for your 
 sake nor mine. Dear mother, it is God s will, and he will 
 render this discipline useful to ourselves and to others too. 
 
 While I was writing your second note in my state-room, 
 I felt very dizzy, but I was determined to finish it, so that 
 Mr. Hill could carry it to you ; so, as soon as I had sealed 
 it, I ran up on the quarter-deck and stood by H., to breathe 
 the fresh air. We watched the land, all the islands about 
 Boston, and the beautiful shores. Several gentlemen went 
 with us, and returned in the pilot-boat called the Breeze. 
 Between three and four o clock, they shook hands with us 
 and wished us a pleasant voyage, and then one by one de- 
 
 17* 
 
198 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 scended to the little boat, which took them to the Breeze. 
 Then we were all alone, our little company, shut up for 
 a long voyage. 
 
 We had dinner about four, but I could not go down. I 
 sat on a cannon and leaned my head against the side of 
 the ship, while H. brought me the old cloak. But soon 
 I was too ill to sit up, and I went down to my berth. 
 Thursday morning I was still sick, and could not bear the 
 thought of eating, and heard to my horror, as the gentle 
 men were talking around the breakfast table, that eating 
 cured sea-sickness, and eat, a person must. Steward 
 brought chicken tea, but it made me very sick, and then 
 H. took rne on deck a little while, and then back to my 
 berth, where I passed the afternoon dozing and thinking of 
 home, and of you, and of the good cold water in the well. 
 Oh, how often I tried to imagine that Clara was bringing 
 me a glass of fresh water ; and then I longed for ice, till 
 I almost thought I had it in my mouth. 
 
 Oh, how much I thought of you that afternoon, and 
 prayed for you, and thought of your reaching home. Dear 
 mother, did not Christ support you 1 
 
 I counted the hours, and thought when you would take 
 your tea. I am continually imagining what you are about. 
 I follow you in all your daily duties. 
 
 Sabbath my heart all went home. I heard the church 
 bells, saw the bright faces of the Sunday school girls, 
 looked in upon you at your Sunday dinner, and imagined 
 you reading to E. afterwards. 
 
 As M. was able to be brought on deck, we sat together 
 and talked of home. I forgot to say that on Friday even 
 ing we commenced family prayers. The crew are not 
 present. In the afternoon we had preaching on deck. I 
 wish a painter could have drawn the group. It was a 
 clear afternoon, about four o clock. Some of the gentle- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 199 
 
 men leaned over from the upper deck. The crew sat in a 
 row and looked intently at father, and the two mates sat 
 on the raised place where you and I stood together : you 
 remember it. Dr. A. and father stood near the cabin door, 
 and then we sang, and father, who had suffered much from 
 sea-sickness, prayed, and preached a short extemporaneous 
 sermon, and it was quite like Sabbath day. I had thought 
 the day would not be very profitable nor pleasant, but it 
 was both. In the evening we sang sacred music in the 
 cabin, all the good tunes that you love, and I retired with 
 that quiet feeling which a sweet Sabbath always gives. 
 
 Monday, the 16th, was a wild day : our first hard wind, 
 and a head wind too. We reached the outside of the gulf 
 stream, and the weather is always warmer there, and apt 
 to be stormy. Our introduction was rather a hard one. 
 I attempted to sit at dinner, but was obliged to remove 
 with my plate up stairs, for the ship rolled and pitched in 
 a remarkable manner, and the spray came washing over 
 the deck. O, what an afternoon and night we had! 
 There was no rest for us. We heard the wind screaming 
 through the cordage, and while we lay in our berths, the 
 heavy tramp of the sailors, and all the sounds connected 
 with a storm, kept us from sleep. Tuesday passed in a 
 tossing manner, cloudy, and I think showery too ; but 
 Tuesday night passes all my powers of description for dis 
 comfort. O, our rolling and tossing, and the sliding about 
 of every movable thing was wonderful. I wish you could 
 have seen our state-room on Wednesday morning. In the 
 course of the night every loose article had toppled down, 
 and lay in a mass of confusion on the floor. The bowl 
 which had been used for arrow-root, was rolling from one 
 side to the other, and the two spoons were following it. 
 Bang, went the folding doors every few moments, like can 
 non, and bang went the .backs of the settees, also, and 
 
200 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 creak, creak, said the rudder, while a confused chorus of 
 movables filled all the spaces of time. In the morning, 
 our l intellects, to say nothing more, were all up in 
 heaps. The only way to cure such things is to go on 
 deck ; there the fresh wind generally puts all things right. 
 There was one day we could not go on deck at all, it was 
 so stormy. The only thing to do at such times is to lie 
 still in our berths. Those days we could do very little. 
 I tried now and then to open my crewel work, but the 
 least motion seemed a burden, and sitting up below made 
 me sick. 
 
 Friday, the 20th, was a glorious day. During the night 
 it had cleared off, and in the morning a grand breeze was 
 carrying us between ten and eleven miles an hour. The 
 waves were magnificent. It was very hard to keep our 
 position for a single moment ; but in the afternoon, though 
 they tossed us still, they were not quite so high, and I 
 came down and took out my things, and arranged my 
 state-room in nice order, without feeling sick at all. I have 
 not been able to do it before, since I came on board. Sat 
 urday morning, as I awoke early, I tookmy crewel as I lay 
 in my berth, and had an hour to work in before breakfast 
 time. The only tedious hours are from daylight till break 
 fast, which is not till half past eight. It makes the night 
 seem very long to retire as we do about nine, but all the 
 rest of the time flies." 
 
 " Tuesday, 24^A. Sabbath, 22d, was not clear, but the 
 rain was most providentially detained till after our service, 
 which was at ten in the morning. Father preached from 
 the text " Behold I lay in Zion," a written sermon, but he 
 made selections from it. We sang Ariel, Oh, could I 
 speak the matchless worth, and Ward, to the words 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 201 
 
 When I survey the wondrous cross. After service it 
 rained, so we all came down stairs. 
 
 We have an Italian on board, a servant of Mr. F., who 
 is an excellent cook, and sometimes he makes us very nice 
 dishes ; but our cook, who is a miserable one, is quite jeal 
 ous of him, and Guseppe cannot do as much as he would. 
 But last Sabbath he cooked our dinner, and though I felt 
 very sorry that so much time should be spent in cooking 
 an extra dinner on that sacred day, I could not help relish 
 ing his dishes. Our poor bodies occupy, at sea, the most 
 of our attention. We are continually contriving for our 
 appetites, for we become more and more dainty. Our 
 cook tries to make bread and pastry, but both are misera 
 ble, ^o we eat ship crackers. Every day steward roasts 
 apples for the ladies, and these are very fine. The best 
 part of our dinner is the fine dish of apples that always 
 appears last. Our water, as you may suppose, is not good ; 
 I can scarcely be willing to taste it ; but we put the cur 
 rant jelly in sometimes, and sometimes the soda powders, 
 and sometimes go without." 
 
 " Wednesday, October 25th. We have had a fine wind 
 to-day, and after the bad winds of the last few days, it has 
 done our spirits good to know we were going so fast to 
 Gibraltar. That is the point to which we are now look 
 ing, and where, if this wind continues, we can be in a week 
 or ten days. We are already 1600 miles from America. 
 
 Monday, the 23d, was a very mild day. I never before 
 felt the sun so hot in October. At times it would be op 
 pressive were it not for the winds. That day, I began 
 reading to H. in French, and trying in earnest to speak it. 
 The nearer we get to Smyrna, the more I long to be able 
 to speak it easily. 
 
 Yesterday was again warm and beautiful, but the wind 
 
202 MRS. MARY <E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 was unfavorable. After dinner we had our trunks brought 
 on deck, looked over our things, and got at last fairly set 
 tled for our voyage. Our state-room is in nice order, and 
 we are as comfortable as we can expect. Our captain is 
 uncommonly kind and attentive. Every morning he has 
 had a matress spread on the deck in the stern, and a cover 
 ing spread over it, where the ladies can sit or recline at 
 their pleasure. 
 
 To-day our fair wind has made all our hearts happy, but 
 it has made some of our company sick. It has been im 
 possible to walk on deck, or even stand, and I sat on the 
 little bench on the quarter-deck, where the chickens are 
 kept, and while H. read, succeeded in spite of the winds, 
 in making a bag to put some of our articles in. Aftef. din 
 ner read French, and then H. told me many things about 
 Smyrna, until the sun had gone down, and the new moon, 
 like a silver thread, looked now and then from among the 
 clouds. 
 
 Dear mother, I never was so far from you before. But 
 here, on this mighty ocean, our Heavenly Father is as 
 near as when we are on land ; and it is very sweet to 
 remember our absent friends, as we do each evening in our 
 prayers." 
 
 " Thursday, October 26th. To-day, my dear mother, 
 has been, not only the most delightful day on sea, but the 
 most delicious day for October that you can imagine. 
 Warm as early September, and the clouds floating in a 
 clear blue sky like summer weather. We are about three 
 hundred miles from the Western Islands, and from there 
 to Gibraltar is nine "hundred miles. All our invalids are 
 better to-day ; every one has been on deck. For several 
 mornings Mr. T. has said, i Steward, we can t get our 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 203 
 
 ladies up till they have their roast apples, but this morn 
 ing we took them on deck. 
 
 We go at the rate of seven miles an hour, but as the 
 wind is directly aft, we feel almost no motion. Our stern 
 windows are open, and the pleasant music of the waters 
 comes in continually, and we sail along as smoothly as if no 
 storm had ever ruffled the gentle billows. I have had the 
 luxury of sea life to-day ; and to-night feel quite contented 
 with my ocean home and ocean life. But how* soon the 
 scene may change, and storm and darkness come back 
 again ! As I sit on the deck, in the warm sun, with my 
 sewing, I have nice times to think. O, it seems good to 
 recall my poor scattered thoughts, after the whirl they 
 have been in so long. But I have many things that need 
 attecding to within. 
 
 M. has been on deck most of the day. I sat by her 
 during the morning, on the quarter deck, by the mizzen- 
 mast, and while I sewed, we talked together about many 
 things. After dinner M. came on deck, and again we sat 
 in the same place, and H. read to us, while I worked on my 
 crewel. Our afternoons are very short, for dinner is not 
 over till three, and the sun sets quite early now. We 
 watched the beautiful sunset, and then the new moon 
 shone out softly, and M. saw the first star she had seen 
 since she left land. How beautiful the stars are on the 
 ocean. The evening is lovely as the day has been. We 
 have just had our family prayers, and here, on this wide 
 ocean, we find these seasons very precious. I cannot but 
 hope that this family worship will do good to some on 
 board. The crew do not attend, but the passengers must, 
 I am sure, be benefited. I am getting to like my ocean 
 life very much. I have plenty to do, and then as every 
 thing about the sea is new to me, there is no monotony. 
 
204 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 My time is fully occupied with a pleasant variety of du 
 ties, and there is no want of society. 
 
 "27M. During the night the wind freshened, and to-day 
 we have enjoyed the consciousness that our rolling home 
 was going very fast to Gibraltar. We have had quite 
 variety enough to-day, and some sport too. The motion 
 of the ship was so violent that it was hard to keep our 
 position, and father, who was sitting with us in the cabin, 
 felt it very much. Suddenly the ship gave a great roll, 
 which upset every thing which could be upset, ourselves, 
 too, nearly, and the water came pouring in through the 
 port-holes in our state-rooms. Plenty of work we had and 
 plenty of fun. Fortunately our own was nearly closed, 
 but Mr. T. s berth took a large quantity of salt water. All 
 but the steward enjoyed the wetting highly, but he, poor 
 fellow, had too much to do with the drying part to feel 
 very good natured about it. About one o clock I took my 
 book and tried sitting on deck. H. tied me and my chair 
 to the mizzen-mast, and I was able to read an hour, spite 
 of the rolling of the ship. 
 
 " October 28th. About twelve this noon, the wind, which 
 had died away during the night, began to freshen, and con 
 tinued to do so all the afternoon, and now we go at an 
 astonishing rate, I think twelve miles an hour ; H. says 
 faster than he ever sailed before in a vessel. We are pass 
 ing the Western Islands, though they lie nearly one hun 
 dred miles soutrr We are to pass between them and the 
 main land, but shall not see them. 
 
 " Oct. 31 st. Since I wrote we have had wild times, which 
 I can scarcely describe at all. The gale which was blow 
 ing when we retired on Saturday night, increased so that 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 205 
 
 sleep forsook us, and we could only lie and toss and roll 
 with every motion of the ship. 
 
 To-day things have become quiet, and I have been able 
 to return to my .work, and my usual ship duties, so that 
 the sorrows of our stormy days are fast receding, even 
 from memory. In a warm sunny sky and smooth sea, all 
 traces of tempests disappear. But I do dread a storm 
 again ; not for any one thing in particular, but for the all 
 things in general. The exceeding uncomfortableness of 
 every thing. It is impossible to keep our position, either 
 sitting, standing, or in our berths. There is nothing to be 
 done but to roll with every motion of the crazy ship, till 
 all one s bones ache. Then the cabin has such a gloomy 
 and deserted air ; the doors are all closed, except one half, 
 and through that comes now and then, splashing down the 
 stairs, a large wave, to wash the floors of both cabin and 
 state-rooms. Every thing gets damp and wet, the air be 
 comes stifled. Every body feels the languor and uncom 
 fortableness of being obliged to stay in a narrow berth. 
 Even if sea-sickness does not add itself to the catalogue 
 of evils, the mind becomes gloomy and dispirited, and it 
 seems as if one would feel forlorn to the end of life. I do 
 not say that all the company felt exactly so. I believe 
 two or three of our gentlemen passed through our trials 
 quite comfortably. 
 
 " Wednesday morn., Nov. 1st. When I bade you good 
 night, I intended to spend a part of this morning in writing, 
 but I can go on only very slowly, the motion is so great. 
 We are now about 300 miles from the coast of Spain. Do 
 you not think my imagination must be filled with thoughts 
 of the old Spanish days of chivalry and renown of Gre 
 nada, too. and its thousand associations 1 How strange it 
 is that I should be here ! and yet I am so far from realizing 
 
 18 
 
206 MRS. MARY E. VAN I.ENNEP. 
 
 that I have left America, that I continually, in conversing-, 
 use the word here, when I am speaking- of persons and 
 events at home. It seems as if I have only stepped from 
 the wharf into the vessel, and am still in America. But 
 when once I get sight of the coast of sunny Spain, and 
 see its old castles frowning on the sea, my dream will 
 vanish, and I shall feel that I have indeed left the land of 
 my birth. 
 
 I have a confused recollection of the days when the 
 wind was so violent, and I only wish to remember it long 
 enough to tell you about it. The sun shone brig-htly on 
 Sabbath, and the sky so beautifully blue and serene, was 
 a great contrast to the dashing scene beneath it. Now 
 and then, a shower would for a few moments obscure the 
 sun, and then all would be bright again. Between three 
 and four in the afternoon, H. urged me to go to the cabin 
 door, the sight was so fine. It seemed almost impossible 
 to do it, but with much exertion I managed to get my 
 things on, and with H. s assistance went up the stairs. 
 Then, mother, and not till then, I saw the ocean. You 
 have read enough descriptions of " ocean waves," and 
 tl ocean tempests," and any thing that I can say, will not 
 make them any more vivid than they now are in your 
 mind, but to really know what a storm is, you must with 
 your own eyes witness it, and then you will understand 
 what mountain waves mean. The decks were lonely and 
 deserted, and the waves ran over them in undisputed pos 
 session. Occasionally a sailor in his oil-cloth dress, drip 
 ping with water, would appear at the vessel s side, stoop 
 ing to escape the waves which broke momently over the 
 ship. We stood on the stairs, looking out at the door, only 
 half of which was open, and when the waves came we 
 hid our faces from the spray. You remember there is a 
 step from the deck upon the cabin stairs, which prevents 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 207 
 
 the water from running down, excepting when a wave 
 is borne directly over the ship s side down through the 
 cabin door without touching the deck. There we remained 
 about an hour, watching the most magnificent scene which 
 my eye ever beheld. Above, the sky was beautifully blue, 
 and the clouds dazzlingly white, or tinged with that deli 
 cately yellow light which we have GO often admired in our 
 sunsettings at home. Around us the ocean dashed in its 
 fury. I could not resist the impression, that some of its 
 long waves, like vast hills, were land instead of water. 
 We had scarcely reached our state-room, when a large 
 wave came rolling down the stairs into the cabin. We 
 were safe. That night I slept from extreme fatigue, but 
 had sad and troubled dreams. About midnight we were 
 awakened by hearing the water rolling and dashing into 
 the cabin. H. sprung to close our door, and then we lay 
 still to hear what would be done next. We heard Mr. T., 
 whose berth is next ours, calling out in a tone almost des 
 perate to the captain. " What ! you wet ?" captain ex 
 claims. " Up to my knees in water," rejoined Mr. T. 
 The captain was also nearly swimming in his room. 
 But pails were brought, and carpet bags, trunks, shoes, 
 &c., were fished up out of the water, amid the laughs and 
 jokes of the poor sufferers ; for the only way is to take 
 things merrily. One must be good-natured if he is soak 
 ing in his berth. 
 
 Monday the wind was still wild, and we sped along our 
 course, while the sounds in the cordage were as if the full 
 ocean band were busily at work at their wild harmonies. 
 Yet in the course of the day the sea became calmer, and 
 faces became a little more bright, while our company, one 
 by one, crept on deck towards evening, to get revived by 
 some fresh air. That evening we had prayers, and retired 
 quite comfortable. 
 
208 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Yesterday was beautiful, and we enjoyed the deck, 
 though occasionally a shower would send us below for five 
 minutes. It is surprising how quickly a shower comes and 
 goes on the sea. You scarcely perceive the clouds till you 
 feel the drops on your face, and a moment after the sun 
 appears bright as before. The storm has made sad work 
 with M. and Dr. A. and father; they all want cheering. 
 After dinner I sewed in the cabin, striving to cheer M. 
 Then H. came for me to see the sun set. It was a golden 
 sky, and after the clouds faded, the moon looked calmly 
 down on our bark, as it danced on over the waves. Just 
 after tea I sat with H. a short time on deck to enjoy the 
 moonlight, and in the evening I talked with dear father of 
 home, and the friends, the loved friends there, and after 
 prayer, I wrote in my journal. 
 
 The nights in my berth I am very weary of. To lie in 
 such a narrow space is very hard. But we have many 
 comforts, and I do not complain. A fine breeze is now 
 carrying us on our course, and we are all in good spirits. 
 
 While I have been writing, Guseppe came below and 
 announced a ship, and another one is just now on the verge 
 of the horizon. They are the first we have seen for sev 
 enteen days. Now as we are near the coast, we hope to 
 see them. I wish we might see an East Indiaman. This 
 is M. S. s birth-day, and I intend writing her a note. She 
 marked it in my Daily Food, and father thinks of using 
 the verse for a text for a sermon. 
 
 I shall begin to-day a letter to send from Gibraltar. 
 Capt. says H. may go ashore with him there, though we 
 shall stop only two hours. Oh, to see Gibraltar ! 
 
 " Thursday morning. I have just finished a letter to send 
 you form Gibraltar. If our wind continues we shall reach 
 there day after to-morrow 1 have filled a sheet, and yet I 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP . 209 
 
 have said almost nothing that I wished. I wanted to tell 
 you my thoughts and feelings, and to say something about 
 Boston, and about your home plans, and to send some little 
 word to my friends. My heart was too full to put down 
 on paper, and I have said almost nothing I wished. As 
 soon as tea was over, I went and sat by father in the back 
 part of the cabin, and had a long talk with him. How 
 much his heart yearns for home ! He has not borne the 
 ship part well at all, and suffers for want of exercise. We 
 talked, too, of the passengers, and how much it was to be 
 desired that some good should be done while with our com 
 pany. Soon we separate, never to meet till at God s bar. 
 My dear, dear mother, we are in sight of land all on 
 deck looking, but I have just run down to tell you. Spain 
 is in sight before us, real land. My heart is too full to 
 write. I could cry hard, I don t know why. Oh, how 
 good God has been ! Now indeed I feel I am away from 
 America. How strangely looks that long line of misty 
 coast, and very strange are my emotions ; full of pleasure, 
 and full of pain, and full of deep, deep interest. This is 
 Spain and soon we shall distinguish the old convent 
 which for ages has stood looking down on the sea, where 
 the nuns have chanted their matins and vespers, and its 
 bells have mingled their voices with the waves. How 
 little I once thought that my plain Yankee eyes would 
 look on such scenes ! Dear mother, I have been praying 
 that I may look on all these interesting shores with the 
 feelings of a Christian ; and may all that I see and learn 
 prepare me for my work in that dear country which comes 
 nearer every hour. 
 
 " Nov. kth. Saturday afternoon. I have just closed your 
 letter, and H. is directing and sealing it, and Mr. T. will 
 take it on shore to-morrow. O, I hope it will reach you 
 
 18* 
 
210 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 safely. Father is writing at the table, and nearly all our 
 gentlemen have been so engaged these few days past. I 
 wrote C. C., after closing the journal for you yesterday, 
 and as soon as tea was over we went on deck to watch 
 Cape St. Vincent, which we passed by moonlight. We 
 saw its high bluffs, and with the glass distinguished the 
 two convents, one on the extremity of the cape, its white 
 walls shining in the moonlight. The other, of reddish 
 brown, is not so distinctly seen. It was very interesting to 
 watch them. What a wild, lonely place to which to retire 
 from the world ! Probably they are monasteries, not nun 
 neries. 
 
 We stood in the moonlight by the helm, and while there 
 had a long conversation with Guseppe on the nature of 
 true repentance, to which the man at the helm also lis 
 tened. The conversation accidentally, I hope providen 
 tially, commenced by my picking up a tract which fell 
 from his pocket, and as he took it, he said Oh, this is 
 mine, I am going to be a Christian. I fear no impression 
 can be made on his giddy mind, for he is an old, playful, 
 reckless fellow. 
 
 We went very fast until four o clock this morning, when 
 the wind died away, and it became decided that there was 
 no more hope of our reaching Gibraltar to-day. So many 
 new sights are continually coming, that I must go on deck, 
 and shall continue my journal afterwards. Africa is in 
 sight ! is the cry. We are wide awake. These are new 
 sights and sounds. 
 
 We have a few moments now before tea. Oh, what a 
 day this has been to me ! You may imagine my feelings, 
 but words cannot express them. I have stood gazing at 
 these shores, till thoughts innumerable, of home, of child 
 hood, of- Spain, of Africa, dark, deluded Africa, have all 
 floated vaguely, dimly in my mind, and I am oppressed by 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 211 
 
 them, and turn in prayer to God, that he will be my Father, 
 and make me a Christian in all things, and will prepare me 
 for my work. 
 
 This morning was beautiful, and that every thing might 
 be ready in honor of our arrival at Gibraltar, I staid in my 
 state-room and cleaned out all the dirt, which dust-brush 
 and dust-pan could gather, and then brushed the paint 
 from father s coat and cap, with cologne water and clothes- 
 brush, and afterwards mended them ; in which I succeeded 
 admirably, to father s great delight ; then I went to M. s 
 room and told her the Daily Food verse, and read to her, 
 then on deck, which was about 12 o clock. 
 
 While we were at dinner, Guseppe announced a city in 
 sight, and we ascended, when dinner was over, quite incred 
 ulous, but not one only, many were visible. Cadiz rose 
 from the sea, and the low range of mountains which 
 stretched along, bore many a village and house, whose 
 white walls shone in the sunlight. Farther inland, the 
 high mountains of Spain towered, and soon Cape Trafal 
 gar came to our view. How many thoughts these shores 
 awaken ! I can scarcely write, my heart is so full. I 
 came down stairs about four and finished your letter, and 
 then tried to write in the journal, but it was impossible to 
 stay below. The sky was somewhat overcast, but a bril 
 liant sunset shed a flood of violet and rosy light over sea, 
 and shore and sky. Far off to the south, Cape Spartell, 
 on the African shore, rose dimly, it seemed to me sorrow 
 fully, from the water. Long we gazed on every side, while 
 the sailors drew from the hold the chain cable to use if 
 needful. A fine breeze and strong current carry us rapidly 
 through these green waters. We are about thirty miles 
 from Gibraltar, and shall have a fine moonlight view, if 
 the clouds pass. 
 
 These are deeply interesting days to me, and indeed to 
 
212 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 us all. To-morrow, while our dear friends at home are 
 gathering round the table of our Saviour, we shall be 
 gazing on the Rock of Gibraltar, and on the blue waters 
 of the Mediterranean. My heart is almost too full to write ! 
 How good God has been, and we can trust the future with 
 him." 
 
 FROM MR. V. L. 
 
 " Nov. kth. We have had thus far a pleasant voyage 
 in many respects. It is true, that it is only a little more 
 than one week since we began to have fair winds ; but 
 we have often, during that time, gone with great rapidity. 
 Now that Spain has come in view, it really seems that we 
 are advancing on our course ; but until yesterday, our prog 
 ress was rather a matter of faith : we credited the calcu 
 lations by the sun, the stars, and the chronometer, and yet 
 it seemed to us that we were stationary. 
 
 Mary makes the best sailor of the new hands. She has 
 been on deck more than any other lady ; even more than 
 one who crosses the ocean for the third time. She has 
 not been sick much, and when she was so, had nothing of 
 that depression so common in sea-sickness. She has en 
 joyed the voyage more than she expected, although we 
 have had unusually rough weather. We have, indeed, 
 many enjoyments here on the broad ocean ; enjoyments 
 of the sea, the sunsets, the conversations, the reading, the 
 religious services, but in the midst of them all, we have 
 thought of the dear friends who are receding farther and 
 farther from us every hour." 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 BARK STAMBOUL. MEDITERRANEAN. 
 
 Tuesday, Nov. 7th, 1843. 
 
 " MY dearest mother. I feel quite lonely since I sent 
 off my journal, for it seemed almost like parting with you. 
 But I had so good an opportunity, I hailed it with joy. 
 Now I must go on regularly again and I would it were 
 possible to give you any thing like a true description of 
 these few days ; so unlike the rest of my life, so full of 
 interest and excitement. I closed my journal to you the 
 evening before reaching Gibraltar. I longed to sit up and 
 watch our entrance to the Straits and Bay, but it was not 
 thought best. When I retired for the night, I felt little 
 inclination to sleep, and by two o clock was wide awake, 
 and as the moon was shining, I could not resist the incli 
 nation to rise and peep through the port-hole, but saw 
 nothing except water, for our side of the ship looked only 
 on the ocean. So I laid me down, and as a sudden squall 
 came, and the men were running hither and thither among 
 the ropes, did no more than have several short naps, be 
 fore the gleams of the dawn came in at our window. 
 Then rose again, and saw the majestic Rock of Gibraltar 
 directly in front of us, and we went on deck to see the sun 
 rise. 
 
 Dear mother, how gladly would I present the view to 
 you, which we then witnessed. H. s painting of the Rock 
 
214 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 is the best I have seen, and that, you probably remember; 
 but no pen nor brush can give a true idea of the glorious 
 light which tinged the clouds, and shed itself over distant 
 mountain land, and misty shore, and wave, and vessel and 
 rock. That mountain land was more interesting than any 
 thing I had ever seen before, realizing all my ideas of lofty, 
 wild summits, so distant, so towering, they seemed like 
 giant shadows among the clouds ; so beautifully covered 
 with violet light, and so completely shorn of all trees or 
 shrubs, that the effect is entirely unlike the mountain land 
 of America. During all the day I found my eye wander 
 ing from the interesting sights amongst which we were, to 
 seek those dim and distant outlines, over which the shadows 
 slowly passed. They were the mountains of Spain, where 
 the wild Moorish battle cries had often echoed, and Spanish 
 knights had wrought their deeds of valor and renown. 
 
 We were in the Bay of Gibraltar. Directly in front of 
 us rose the barren rock, covered with its fortifications and 
 frowning upon the sea. The town, with its houses of a 
 light yellow or brownish hue, lay all along the water, and 
 was guarded by a wall, strong and massive. During the 
 night there is no entrance to the town, for at the firing of 
 the evening gun, soon after sunset, the gates are locked. 
 A number of vessels lay in the harbor, some steamers 
 and an English man-of-war. But it is an unsafe harbor, 
 and is subject to sudden gusts of wind, very dangerous to 
 vessels." 
 
 " Wednesday evening, Nov. 8th. I have been sea-sick 
 for the last three days ; for the night we left Gibraltar, a 
 miserable headwind came, and our ship has pitched nearly 
 all the time since; while we are kept almost in one 
 place; I mean- as respects advancing on our course. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 215 
 
 To-night we are quiet for a little season, and I am glad to 
 come, dear mother, and talk with you again. 
 
 How strangely that Sabbath passed at Gibraltar! 
 While you were quietly enjoying the privileges of com 
 munion, we were anchored in a foreign bay, gazing upon 
 a city, in whose streets mingled some from nearly every 
 nation on earth, and .viewing that noble rock, around which 
 so many associations cluster. 
 
 Very busy times we had in the early morning. We 
 were coasting up and down the bay, hoping that the officer 
 would come out from the port, and give us permission to 
 land. In the cabin, Mr. T. was arranging his baggage to 
 send ashore, and there was much passing up and down the 
 cabin stairs. As no officer made his appearance, the cap 
 tain concluded to go on shore, and Mr. T. went with him, 
 but they came back in about a half an hour, saying that 
 they would not let them land. Then we took breakfast, 
 and our poor passengers, who were hoping to get a nice 
 meal on land, were forced once more to partake with us of 
 our ship food. Soon a boat came, and a man in it told 
 the captain if he would drop anchor and go ashore, he 
 could get a permit for his passengers to land. Again our 
 little boat put off, and we waited in suspense another half 
 hour, when we saw it returning. It was now near ten 
 o clock. The captain remained on shore, and sent the 
 boat for those who were to land. Right glad were they, 
 and they bade us good-bye, and descended one by one into 
 the boat. Mrs. T. was lowered in the arm-chair by the 
 sailors, an operation which we shall all have to endure. 
 When they were gone, we sat quietly on deck, where the 
 rays of the sun beat down, becoming quite warm as the 
 day advanced. 
 
 The town seemed an abode for the dead ; not a donkey, 
 nor man, nor soldier could we see. We did not expect to, 
 
216 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 in the town itself, but we thought we ought in some of 
 the numerous paths leading along the side of the Rock. 
 I believe, though, they were hid by walls which were built 
 along the paths. Every thing had a Sabbath-day look, 
 and the most perfect quiet pervaded the whole scene. The 
 only signs of life were a few odd-shaped Spanish boats, 
 which appeared and disappeared among the shipping. 
 
 It was a day full of deep interest. We sat on deck, and 
 many were the thoughts which floated through our minds. 
 After some time our boat returned, bringing delicious grapes 
 in baskets, such as we see pictured in views of warm cli 
 mates. They were entirely unlike ours, but more like 
 those white Malaga grapes which come done up in cork dust. 
 
 The rest of the baggage was then sent ashore, and one 
 or two boats came from other American vessels, bringing 
 their captains to visit ours. Our second mate, G., con 
 cluded to return to America in the Manto, for he has been 
 sick ever since we started, and I prepared my journal to 
 send by him. What a long day that was ! The longest 
 I remember to have spent, since the memorable day that 
 father sailed for Europe. 
 
 The captain did not return till late in the afternoon, and 
 he brought with him a new sailor, and also some very fine 
 melons snd olives. It was very difficult for him to obtain 
 fruit, for the market was closed, being the Sabbath. Our 
 captain was tired out. He had eaten nothing since morn 
 ing, and he was so busy trying to get off, that he could 
 only take a little dinner on deck. 
 
 We were so troubled to raise our anchor, that it was not 
 till after sunset that we could get under way. Our sunset 
 was truly Mediterranean, very unlike the sunsets of America. 
 A beautiful violet hue, melting into rose, tinged sky and 
 cloud and mountain and wave. Our hearts were filled with 
 the glory of the scene. Far off, the African shore raised 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP 217 
 
 its bold front in the evening sky, and on the side of the 
 bay opposite Gibraltar, several little Spanish towns and 
 Moorish watch-towers, were bathed in violet light, while 
 directly over the Rock, rose the moon, nearly at its full, 
 making a combination of glory and beauty, which sur 
 passed any thing my eye had ever seen. We sailed by 
 moonlight slowly out of the bay. One by one shone lights 
 from the town, and from the top of the Rock we saw and 
 heard the sunset gun fired. Our ship had got free, after 
 some difficulty. The captain of the Manto, a fine generous 
 man, came with his second mate and several of his men, 
 to assist our weary sailors. Our poor men had been up 
 all night, and during the day, too. had been hard at work, 
 and though they sang their wild, merry, sailor songs, to 
 make the work go lightly, it was evident they were tired 
 out. It did our hearts good to see captain L. s men, fresh 
 and ready to lend their aid ; and so before the rays of the 
 sun had faded away, we were ready for sea. We walked 
 on deck beneath a glorious moonlight, and sailed by a fair 
 breeze on the waters of the Mediterranean ; while my 
 thoughts were with the dear friends far off over the Alan- 
 tic. We began to look forward to our journey s end, and 
 to rejoice that our sea trials were so nearly over: when, 
 alas ! the wind changed during the night, and the next 
 morning we pitched about in a head sea. sea-sick and cold, 
 and very uncomfortable so unlike our ideas of the Med 
 iterranean. 
 
 After dinner on Monday. I sat nearly all the afternoon 
 on deck, looking at distant scenery. Far off, rose from the 
 sea the Sierra Nevada, or snowy mountains of Spain. 
 The sun shone brightly upon them, and I would it were 
 possible for me to describe the magical effect which those 
 Spanish mountains produce. They tower above the clouds, 
 and are seen in every variety of light and shade. Their 
 19 
 
218 MRS. MARY E VAN LENNEP 
 
 barrenness, so far from injuring their picturesque appear 
 ance, only heightens it. We watched them all the after 
 noon ; and at evening we remembered the monthly concert. 
 
 This Mediterranean sea seems a very sociable one to 
 me, we have so much land in sight, and its tall cliffs come 
 down so protectingly to the shore. Then the motion in a 
 fair wind is delightful. The vessel glides on smoothly, 
 and we have none of the heavy Atlantic swell ; but a head 
 wind is very trying, owing to the short waves, which 
 makes the ship pitch and toss sadly. I think the ocean 
 is far more interesting when land is in sight. There is a 
 peculiar feeling when far from land, which I shall always 
 remember with deep interest, and I rejoice that I have been 
 on the wide waste of waters; but there is a magical 
 beauty about the sea when a distant shore bounds the 
 horizon, upon which the breakers dash their white foam. 
 We had the happiness last night of retiring, with the con 
 sciousness that a fair wind was carrying us gently along 
 on our course. In the morning, just at sunrise, we were 
 passing Cape Degata. Its brown cliffs, on which stood 
 lonely Moorish watch-towers, frowned upon the sea. 
 These Moorish towers are a very interesting sight. They 
 are placed along the shore on very high points, at the dis 
 tance of about ten miles from each other, and command a 
 very extensive view of the sea. There, in ages back, they 
 watched the invading foe, and lighted their alarm fires upon 
 these mountains. 
 
 I have had many sweet, quiet thoughts here on this 
 ocean. On the deck I have been looking into my heart 
 many an hour, and striving to get ready for my work in 
 Smyrna ; of you, too, dear mother, I think at morning, noon, 
 and evening." 
 
 " Tuesday evening, Nov. 1 4M. On Friday, after closing 
 my journal, a storm which had been gathering for some 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 219 
 
 time, came over, and the lightning was more vivid than 1 
 ever knew. The quantity of rain we have .had is very 
 surprising. It has rained every day, though we have had 
 long hours of sunshine. Saturday was a gloomy, cold 
 day, and we were sailing in the broadest part of the Med 
 iterranean, between Majorca and Sardinia, so that no land 
 was to be seen. 
 
 During the night there was a great deal of rolling, yet I 
 contrived to sleep nearly all the time ; but on rising in the 
 morning with a strong resolution not to be sick, I found I 
 must yield, and in my berth, notwithstanding the motion, I 
 had pleasant Sabbath thoughts and conversation with H. 
 We regretted being deprived of service on deck. Only 
 twice have we been able to have service there. Towards 
 noon the weather became fine. We had been all along 
 going on our course, but the motion was in consequence of 
 the north wind which blew down the Gulf of Lyons. As 
 soon as Sardinia should shelter us we should be free from 
 that. After dinner, talked with H. on many interesting 
 topics, and particularly about desiring to be in Heaven, and 
 being willing to leave this earth at any time. H. said he 
 thought it was a Christian s duty to be looking forward 
 joyfully to tl^e time when heaven would be his home. I 
 told him how lovely this earth appeared to me, and that it 
 troubled me that the thought of leaving these scenes for 
 ever should make me unhappy, and that I felt I needed to 
 place my affections more upon the other world. I had 
 been thinking and praying over these things, which had 
 been suggested to my mind by my shrinking from dying at 
 sea, and my earnest desire to reach Smyrna. H. s views 
 of heaven are much better than mine, and I hope that they 
 will make mine more what they should be. I pray over 
 this subject, and already my views are brighter. 
 
220 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Dear father came and talked with us a long time about 
 heaven and the privileges of Christians. We talked till 
 the daylight faded and the stars came out. The sea was 
 calmer, and in the evening we had service in the cabin. 
 Father read his sermon, " Life and immortality," &c. 
 
 Yesterday was cairn, nearly all day, and we sat on deck, 
 beneath a pleasant, warm sky, and worked. Just before 
 tea, walked the deck for exercise, and in the evening netted 
 my mat. The breeze was fresh and fair, and during my 
 sleep, I dreamed very vividly of reaching Smyrna. O, 
 mother, how strange it seems to be so near the place to 
 which we have looked so long. 
 
 This morning, when I went on deck, I found we had 
 passed Sardinia in the night, so that only a faint blue out 
 line remained to be seen. The waves have looked beau 
 tifully to-day, and the sky has been bright. Father is in 
 fine spirits at the thought of soon reaching Malta, from 
 which we are now only about one hundred and seventy 
 miles. What a small company we shall have from Malta 
 to Smyrna. Four of our number leave at that island. 
 
 After dinner, just as I was going on deck, a storm came 
 up and it rained very hard. Captain has taken in sail, for 
 the night is very dark, and he does not like tQ pass without 
 some care among these islands. There is a great deal of 
 motion, and we all dread the night." 
 
 Wednesday evening. Our breeze has been so very light 
 to-day, that we are still some distance from Malta. We 
 slept last night notwithstanding the motion, and under 
 the good providence of our Heavenly Father, came safely 
 through all the shoals. As soon as the sun shone into the 
 cabin we went on deck. The coast of Sicily looked very 
 dim ; far to the north of us, and the small island of Pante- 
 laria, a place famous for its donkeys, lay on our western 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNKP. 221 
 
 horizon. We had passed it in the night. During the 
 forenoon, went on deck to see mount Juliano, the highest 
 land on the southern coast^of Sicily. After dinner, had a 
 general overlooking of trunks, and a grand preparation for 
 landing at Malta. 
 
 Sometimes when the thought comes over me that I am 
 really going to Smyrna, you can imagine how strange and 
 yet how pleasant a reality it is to me. Could we only all 
 live together! My dear mother, let us all be ready for that 
 blessed home where we shall have no separations that 
 home where our existence will truly commence. Shall we 
 ever reach that home ? O, may Jesus make us faithful to 
 him and to his cause. May he prepare us to meet him and 
 all our dear friends in the abodes of eternal rest. Good 
 night, dear mother. Father is going on deck, and I will 
 go too, and have a few parting words. 
 
 " Thursday evening. We are moored in the harbor of 
 Malta, and shall pass the night within sound of its many 
 bells, and in full sight of the spot around which so many 
 associations cluster. We passed a very quiet night, but 
 this morning, though the sun shone brightly, we found the 
 wind just opposite the quarter we wished it to be. I went 
 on deck before breakfast, and we saw the coast of Sicily, 
 on one side, with the snowy peak of Etna, distant from us 
 one hundred miles, and on the other side lay the low, rocky 
 island of Malta, and its two adjacent islands. The morn 
 ing was very warm and bright, and the sky a glorious blue, 
 and our gentlemen sauntered about, unable to attend to 
 any thing but watching the sails, in hope that our calm 
 might give place to a fair wind. We were passing slowly 
 along, without any hope of reaching Malta until to-morrow, 
 though we were not tttirty miles off. About dinner time 
 our wind became fair. Captain s eyes brightened, but we 
 
 19* 
 
222 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 kept it from our company, for fear of disappointment, as it 
 might not last. However, during dinner the fair wind be 
 came too apparent to be any longer hidden, and the sails 
 were made ready for Malta. Our gentlemen put on clean 
 clothes and hats, and looked so land like, it did our hearts 
 good. On we went, beneath a bright sky, while every mo 
 ment, the rocky shore, with its houses and scanty trees, 
 became more and more visible. We were making for Va- 
 letta, the name of the port. We passed St. Paul s bay, 
 and thought of the shipwreck of the inspired apostle. H. 
 read me the chapter containing the account, and if it really 
 were the spot, how interesting it would be ! It is very prob 
 able, though not certain, yet it is enough so to make it an 
 interesting place. 
 
 Every thing was in readiness for landing. Our flags 
 floated in the breeze, and we all stood on deck, viewing 
 each object as it became denned to the eye. A glorious 
 sunset added to the beauty of the scene, while the curious 
 Maltese boats made me think of the " Maltese Boatmen s 
 song," and almost involuntarily we sang, 
 
 "Then haste, let us row till the daylight is o er." 
 
 A Greek vessel was slowly passing into the quarantine 
 harbor near us. We saw the Lazaretto buildings, and di 
 rectly in front rose the old storm-beaten fortification of the 
 knights of ancient days, and rising above these were the 
 light brown buildings of the town. The sunset gun fired 
 just as captain was setting off in his boat, and we waited 
 anxiously the result of his visit to the shore. 
 
 The sunset colors were fading on the horizon, but we 
 stood gazing, while light remained, on the massive walls 
 and churches, which filled our minds with strange thoughts, 
 and told us we were indeed in the old world, in the midst of 
 scenes which before had to us existed only in our imagina- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 223 
 
 tions. Strange music floated across the water. I thought 
 it was a full, deep band. It was the tolling of the hour. 
 The light grew fainter, and then the bells all woke and 
 rang for vespers. The island seemed but the abode of 
 bells, for from every quarter they rang out upon the breeze, 
 some making merry music, and some sounding in such 
 solemn tones, that all I had ever dreamed of a vesper bell, 
 was embodied in the strain. There was one heavy one, 
 that tolled slowly amidst the meriy peals, as we listened 
 in silence, while our hearts were sad for the deluded wor 
 shippers, who were then kneeling at their evening devo 
 tions ; and we prayed that a true and holy worship might 
 ascend with their vesper prayer. 
 
 Our captain returned, and told us nothing could be done 
 after sunset, no officer could be seen, no permission given 
 to land ; and so we remain here quietly, losing very much 
 time ; and yet I am half reconciled to our detention, for I 
 long to hear the matin bells. It seems very pleasant to 
 hear land sounds, and yet the sounds which float to us are 
 by no means home-like. They carry our thoughts back to 
 days when Rome ruled alone over the consciences of the 
 nations, and they remind us that her veil of darkness still 
 blinds a large portion of the earth s population. We pre 
 sume some festival is causing the continued peals we hear. 
 Music, too, of drums and trumpets, is passing along the 
 streets. The stars are shining gloriously, and the dark 
 wails before us are partially illuminated by the lighthouse, 
 and here and there other lights appear, while almost every 
 moment the bells are chiming, and mingle their voices with 
 the ceaseless roar of the sea as it breaks along the shore. 
 These are strange and novel sounds to lull us to sleep. 
 Our company have retired, and I must retire too, to be up 
 1 bright and early. 
 
224 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 " Monday afternoon, November 2Qth. I have come, my 
 dearest mother, to try and give you some account of the 
 many things which have taken place since last I wrote. 
 But first, let me tell you we are scarce one hundred and 
 twenty miles from Smyrna ; and to-morrow we might hope 
 to tread on that shore to which we have so long been look 
 ing with earnest expectation, but a strong head wind for 
 bids the hope, and we know not how long we may be 
 detained among these islands of the Archipelago. 
 
 How I wish I could give you some account of last 
 Friday, that would make you feel just as I do in looking 
 back upon it. It seems like a strange, troubled dream, and 
 as though I had been for a few hours an inhabitant of 
 another world. 
 
 During all Thursday night, you know, we lay in the 
 harbor of Malta, within sound of its many bells as they 
 tolled the hour, and at four in the morning they commenced 
 again, and continued ringing more or less until between 
 seven and eight. We were up early and saw the sun rise, 
 and then captain went on shore. We were on deck, watch 
 ing all that could be seen, eyeing the town with our spy 
 glass, and the health officer came along side to look at us. 
 This gave us much amusement, and he too seemed quite 
 good natured about it, particularly when the steward in his 
 comical hat looked over the ship s side at him. Soon came 
 innumerable boats, some to sell things, some to bring people 
 to our ship, and to take our passengers ashore. 
 
 The consul came, and Mr. and Mrs. Buel, Baptist mis 
 sionaries, very pleasant people. They knew H., and Mrs. 
 Buel brought me a beautiful bunch of flowers, which I am 
 still keeping some fine carnations among them. 
 
 And then, mother, what do you think we did ? We went 
 on shore and saw Malta, and the wonderful sights and 
 sounds nearly turned my head. There is so much motion 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 225 
 
 I cannot write. Oh, I have so much to tell you, and we 
 are so near Smyrna, too ! 
 
 " Wednesday, Nov. 22d. The lands near us are full of 
 interest. On one side lies Asia, so soon to be my home, 
 and on the other, Scio rises to our view, and already the 
 mountains around Smyrna are distinctly seen ; but a head 
 wind still detains us ; we can only slowly tack along, up 
 the channel of Scio, with the faint hope of reaching to 
 morrow, the city to which our hearts have gone. How 
 do you think, my dear mother, that your daughter feels in 
 looking upon what is now her adopted home ? It was yes 
 terday, that the first faint, blue outline of the continent 
 which is the cradle of our race, rose to our view, and I 
 could only pray when I looked upon it. Now we are very 
 near it. We can distinguish its Turkish villages, and we 
 turn alternately from them to the island, where, among its 
 groups of trees, once stood the mansions of so many happy 
 families whom the fire and the sword destroyed. These 
 lands are full of interest, and you may easily imagine 
 what recollections they call up, and what associations 
 they awaken in our minds. It was you, dear mother, who 
 taught me to feel for poor Scio. Do you remember, too, 
 how, when I was a very little girl, I went once to sew for 
 the Greeks ? But if I am going to write a regular journal, 
 I must turn back to Friday. 
 
 It was quite an unexpected pleasure to be able to go on 
 shore. Mr. and Mrs. Buel urged our going, and the consul 
 told us the captain would be detained some hours, so we 
 thought we would venture to go. Father and Dr. A. 
 thought it would be a refreshment to us ; so I flew down 
 and begged the steward to get my band-box, and H. got 
 my shawl, and in my great ship shoes and gloves, I was 
 in rather a funny garb to appear on land. H. was in a some- 
 
226 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 what similar plight, jet in a land where we were total 
 strangers, we did not mind our medley dress. They had 
 the arm-chair ready to lower the ladies, and I found the 
 operation easy and pleasant. We reached the landing 
 time enough for me to have the pleasure of welcoming 
 father and Dr. A. to Malta, for they came after us, with 
 the consul, in another boat. 
 
 And now, mother, if you want me to describe Malta, I 
 will tell you that to give you a true description is out of the 
 question. Valetta is the name of the port, and there are 
 streets and houses, and plenty of people, making racket 
 enough for three or four of our cities, but every thing is so 
 different that description can give you but a faint idea. 
 
 But I will begin at the beginning and go on to the end of 
 the little I saw of Malta, and perhaps I may be able to 
 give you a better idea than a man who writes travels, and 
 does not know, what you in particular, would like to know. 
 
 The whole island is composed of a rock of a yellowish 
 brown color, or rather a very light drab, so soft when first 
 it is hewn, that it is very easily cut into beautiful vases, 
 &c. ; but it hardens on exposure to the air. All the fortifi 
 cations, and houses, and pavements, are of this stone, so 
 that they have the same color, which makes a good con 
 trast to the blue window frames and balconies. 
 
 The Moro, or St. James Castle, hid the place of the 
 landing from our ship, but as we came round its high old 
 battlements, where the knights in olden times fought, we 
 caught a view of a scene of indescribable bustle and activ 
 ity. It was by the custom-house ; and as we neared the 
 shore, innumerable boats surrounded us, and our own little 
 Stamboul boat was the only thing that looked familiar. 
 
 My dear mother, H. has just called me to go up on deck, 
 and see the town of Scio, which is so near that we can dis 
 tinguish the people walking along its shore, and the dis- 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP 227 
 
 mantled villas, which are standing desolate and sad 
 among the trees. Upon these very waters the Turkish 
 ships floated, and on these very shores they landed their 
 soldiers, and spread ruin and sorrow all around. The 
 centre of the island is very bold, and the mountains tower, 
 naked and barren, over the green and cultivated slopes 
 which come down to the sea. We can discern many 
 cypress trees and several minarets. My eye has, in a 
 little measure, become familiar with strange scenes. But 
 I must go back to Malta. 
 
 By the iron railing round the yard of the Custom-House, 
 a soldier in the splendid costume of the Highland regi 
 ments, was leaning, watching all who came and went. 
 Several of them stood around, and they are most splendid 
 looking men. Tell E. their dress is more grand than the 
 picture of one in my music book. Their black plumes 
 nodded in a perfect forest over their caps, and it was sin 
 gular to see their limbs bare, both above and below the 
 knee, for a little space. I felt all my childish awe of sol 
 diers coming back, when I gazed on these Scotch High 
 landers, and I verily believe E. would have bowed down 
 to them. But they had very pleasant Scotch faces, and I 
 did not see that they bore any arms, though I presume 
 they must have had them of some kind. 
 
 We landed on steps cut in the rock. There were two 
 or three of these steps, hewed not very even ; and then 
 we walked along the shore, while on one side the city 
 walls, and a large convent with grated windows, towered 
 above. We then turned from this street, which is called 
 the Marina, and entered a steep, walled pathway. My 
 eyes gazed with wonder and astonishment on every thing. 
 There was enough on the Marina to excite my amaze 
 ment, but we hurried along amongst groups of Maltese, 
 and on turning into this narrow pathway, we found our- 
 
228 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 selves somewhat more quiet, though our Maltese attend 
 ants were sufficiently noisy, and a dirty little dog annoyed 
 me very much. From this steep path, which we ascended 
 by long steps, we turned into another a little wider, and 
 then into St. Paul s street, which is long, even and clean, 
 and nearly as wide as Grove street.* A part is very steep, 
 but where we passed to the hotel, to which the Consul 
 took us, it was quite level. How strange the people ap 
 peared to me ! Most of the lower classes huriying about 
 their work, with burdens on their heads, and some who 
 could afford it wore black silk mantillas on their heads, 
 which fell over their shoulders. Priests were walking 
 here and there, and mules dragging carts with immense 
 wheels, toiled along. Those carts were the most outland 
 ish things you can imagine, and the harness of the mules 
 seemed made up of bits of rags picked from the streets. 
 
 But our Hotel was my admiration. We entered by a 
 long entry, and ascended by flights of stone stairs to the 
 third story. In the comer of the landings, stood pedestals 
 about three feet high, supporting vases, where were planted 
 house plants, such as geraniums, &c. The pedestals and 
 vases were of Malta stone. The hall, where we stopped 
 at last, was quite spacious, and looked down into a court 
 in the centre of the house, and upon one side opened the 
 room appointed for Dr. A. and father. The parlor and bed 
 room were very large and airy, and exceedingly high. The 
 floors were stone ; the chairs what we have been accus 
 tomed to, cane seats, and the sofas, or divans, looked quite 
 natural also. There was a piano in the room, and the 
 walls were adorned with Italian paintings. In the centre 
 stood a very large table, and a smaller one, with a vase of 
 flowers on it, stood by the side of the sofa. Between the 
 two sofas a tiny stove was placed, and the pipe went up 
 
 * The street in Hartford in which had been her own home. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 229 
 
 to the ceiling. An old-fashioned bookcase, with a few old 
 books, stood between the two windows which opened on 
 the balcony, and two oranges lay on the top of the case, 
 with their stems and a leaf or two remaining. On the side 
 opposite the sofas, the bedroom opened, and the beds, the 
 frames of which were of iron, looked neat and comfortable 
 as at home. The wash-stand looked natural, with its 
 vases for soap and tooth-brush. 
 
 While we stood in the hall, looking at the baggage, 
 music struck up Hail Columbia and" Yankee Doodle, 
 and we found it was the custom to salute strangers with 
 their national airs. We had been followed by a blind man 
 and one or two others, who played these tunes on our arri 
 val at the hotel ; and for which they expected and received 
 a fee. The blind man was the owner of the dog which 
 annoyed me so. The Consul and Mr. and Mrs. B. left us, 
 and our first movement was to run to the balcony and sur 
 vey the street. Miss M. was a great help in explaining 
 things to me. Passing beneath us were several ladies, 
 who appeared to be shopping. I was perfectly delighted 
 with their costumes. Their street dress is a black silk 
 skirt, hooked on over their other garments, which hangs in 
 thick and graceful folds about them, and conceals every 
 thing but their light gaiters. Over their heads a black 
 mantilla is thrown, of the same material as the skirt, and 
 it appears something like a hood. It is held on with one 
 hand, and with the other hand they gracefully dispose the 
 remaining part about their persons. The effect is beauti 
 ful, and I was exceedingly interested in watching the 
 movements of the younger ladies, as they followed their 
 mammas around. The custom is for the young unmarried 
 ladies not to appear in the streets without their mothers or 
 nurses. Their gait is slow and dignified, and they look 
 modestly out from under their mantillas. Their hair is 
 
 20 
 
230 MRS. MARV E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 parted like our ladies, with two curls hanging each side, 
 and they all have olive complexions, and black eyes and 
 hair. 
 
 Our breakfast was brought up and placed on the centre 
 table, and three waiters did their work very quietly. Every 
 thing about breakfast was homelike and very nice. The 
 beef steak, for instance, nice as at home. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. B. returned to go with us round the town, 
 but we had only time to pass into St. John s Church, be 
 fore the Maltese boatmen came hastily in, telling us the 
 captain was waiting. We could only glance around. It 
 was a gorgeous Catholic church, such as we see in pic 
 tures. Many were kneeling at their prayers ; but what 
 interested us most, were the tablets, in Mosaic, upon which 
 we were treading, and beneath which the old knights lay 
 buried. 
 
 As we hurried down the steep streets to the shore, our 
 boatmen ran behind and before us, jabbering now Maltese, 
 and now broken English, and anxious to put in, each his 
 plea why we should go with him. It was a strange scene, 
 down by the wharf; I verily thought we should be bereft 
 of our reason among their clamors. I stood close to father, 
 till H. and the rest decided which boat to take, and then 
 we gave a hurried good-bye, and rowed off. The Maltese 
 boats are excellent. The boatmen row standing up. 
 
 When I reached the ship, I found the excitement I had 
 been in, together with getting much heated, had fatigued 
 me more than I was aware, and I immediately took my 
 berth, and did not leave it during the remainder of the day. 
 We were sailing before a fair wind, and rejoicing in being 
 so near the end of our voyage. 
 
 Our ship s company is considerably reduced ; but our 
 hearts are so full of Smyrna, we do not rnind it much, 
 though to be alone without father, makes me feel I am 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 231 
 
 indeed away from all my early friends and protectors. Sat 
 urday we had still a fine wind, but so much motion that I 
 was more sick than I had been for a long time, and I was 
 obliged to keep my berth during most of the day. On Sab 
 bath morning I was able to sit up in my berth, and rest my 
 weary limbs. On Sabbath afternoon, we passed Cape 
 Matapan, the southern point of Greece, and all the after 
 noon we sat watching the shore, which rose majestically 
 from the sea. The effect of the lights and shadows was 
 uncommonly fine. There was indeed Greece ! Upon one 
 of the tall cliffs stood the ruins of an ancient temple ; its 
 columns seemed lonely and sad. as they looked down upon 
 the blue waves beneath them. Several villages appeared 
 on the coast. The general aspect of all these shores and 
 islands is very bold. They rise in barren masses of rock 
 from the sea, with here and there green nooks, where a few 
 trees are scattered among the grass ; but there is a grandeur 
 and picturesque loneliness about them, which makes them 
 very interesting, independent of the associations which 
 cluster around every spot. 
 
 That evening we had service in the cabin. H. read 
 father s sermon, Let us come boldly to a throne of grace, 
 &c., and I was pleased that the steward stopped to listen. 
 Dear father always tries to do good. He has been talking 
 with one of the sailors, who is considerably interested in 
 religion, and H. wishes, now father has left, to find an op 
 portunity to continue the conversation. We did not pass 
 a very pleasant Sabbath, for we were wearied out, and our 
 thoughts wandered too much ; but the evening service was 
 pleasant, and I trust profitable. 
 
 Monday morning, the captain called us to see some large 
 water-spouts. They were very singular objects. We 
 found we had gone uncommonly well ; the Islands of the 
 Archipelago were all around us. We had thought to have 
 
232 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 reached Smyrna on Tuesday, and had rejoiced in the pros 
 pect ; but a head wind came, and our hopes were blasted. 
 Dear mother, I would write more, but I fear to use my eyes, 
 and must rest them. I shall write to-morrow, if possible. 
 Oh, can it be that we shall so soon reach Srrryrna ? I find 
 it is only eight miles to the entrance of the gulf." 
 
 " Thursday afternoon, Nov. 23d, We shall not reach 
 Smyrna to-day, dear mother, but as some consolation, our 
 head wind has left us, and we are enjoying the most luxu 
 rious day we have had since we commenced our voyage. 
 H. has brought my writing materials on deck, and I am 
 writing here beneath a lovely sky, while a gentle breeze 
 is wafting us along to the entrance of the Gulf, and we 
 have every prospect of reaching Smyrna to-morrow morn 
 ing. The day reminds me of the lines of Herbert : 
 
 Sweet day, so cool, so calm, so bright, 
 The bridal of the earth and sky. 
 
 There is an inexpressible calmness about every object. 
 The shores of Asia Minor, and the distant islands, sleep in 
 the sunshine, and there is scarce a cloud upon the sky. It 
 has been mild as a day in latter spring, and I have done 
 little else than sit still all day, and enjoy the luxury of bask 
 ing beneath this warm southern sky. But now I long to 
 finish my journal. 
 
 Monday was a very cold day. Indeed it has been hard 
 to keep warm this week until to-day, for the continued 
 north-east wind made it like an autumn day in America. 
 We were in the midst of the islands of the Archipelago, 
 but it was too cold to remain on deck. At last, in the 
 afternoon, I got into my berth to keep warm. Captain 
 was very sober, and H. very sad. Oh, how hard it was to 
 keep patient, when so near Smyrna. Our head wind was 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 233 
 
 very strong. We tacked all night between the islands, 
 and as the passage was very narrow, I had many thoughts 
 whether I was willing to die on the ocean. I rested very 
 little, and hailed the morning light with joy. Tuesday 
 was a tolerably comfortabre day. We made some progress, 
 even with our head wind, for we have an admirable vessel 
 for sailing. We passed very near Tinos, where the town, 
 and an ancient Greek church, one of the two most noted 
 churches of that communion, could be distinctly seen ; but 
 for the first time I remained below, when an object of in 
 terest was to be seen. After dinner, our captain had the 
 matress laid upon deck, and I sat some hours, even till after 
 sunset, watching our progress. The sky was of a glorious 
 blue, and the clouds swept through it finely, casting their 
 shadows on the islands around. 
 
 Samos was near us, but the clouds over it hid Mt. Ida 
 from our view. In the distance lay Scio, and we were 
 endeavoring, in spite of our wind, to gain the channel be 
 tween that and the main land. How my heart felt, when 
 the captain pointed to Asia, rising faintly in the eastern 
 horizon. I gazed there with many thoughts. On Wednes 
 day morning, we were entering the Straits of Scio, and 
 looking upon the mountains, which can be seen from 
 Smyrna. It was very cold, and I sat and worked in our 
 state-room during the morning, while H. read to me and 
 in the afternoon, wrapped in my cloak, and seated upon 
 the floor, I wrote to you. I wish I could have written 
 every day since we left Malta, for there are many little 
 nothings which, when I write daily, can be put in, and help 
 you to form a better idea of my life. Dear mother. I long 
 to have you know every thing, as when I lived at home 
 by you. To be detained by head winds, just when our 
 hearts were leaping for joy, has been indeed trying, but it 
 has also been good for us. It has led us to examine our 
 20* 
 
234 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 hearts more, and to look to our Heavenly Father more. I 
 have had many thoughts during these days of suspense. 
 Did God see that my heart was not in a right frame, and 
 thus for a little time deny us an entrance to that spot so 
 increasingly dear? I have prayed much during these 
 days ; I have thought much of my work, and of my prepa 
 ration for it. I have tried to be perfectly resigned to my 
 Father in Heaven, and to feel that he knows best, and I 
 hope that I have in some measure succeeded but to rise 
 these four mornings, and hardly dare to ask how we went, 
 and then to have hope deferred, did indeed make our 
 hearts sick. 
 
 This morning we found the wind prevented our entrance 
 to the Gulf, and there was no hope of reaching Smyrna 
 to-day. We all ate breakfast in silence. 
 
 After breakfast, I remained in our state-room till the 
 captain came to tell us there was no use in freezing 
 below, when it was warm and bright on deck. Oh, how 
 bright and beautiful it was, and a perfect calm, also. The 
 captain said a fair wind would come next ; and in the 
 course of the day it has come creeping along. How much* 
 cause we have to be grateful ! God is so much better to 
 us than our fears. H. is very calm, but full of thought. 
 After writing, I sat and watched the gathering twilight, 
 while he paced the deck. The silver thread of the new 
 moon shone over Cape Karaborna, at the entrance of the 
 Gulf, while we glided along as on a summer sea. We 
 came below at half past five, and commenced putting up 
 our things, and we have arranged all we can to-night. 
 A fine breeze is carrying us along, till now we are very 
 near our desired haven. Captain will anchor a few miles 
 from the city, and go the rest of the way in the morning. 
 We had tea between seven and eight, and have been con 
 tinually watching the sound of the water to see if we ad- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 235 
 
 vance. The captain is now sounding, for there is a shoal 
 which makes the passage very narrow, and the anchors are 
 ready to lower. I am glad we shall not enter Smyrna till 
 daylight, for I want to see the city and country around. 
 They are casting anchor now. When M. came to kiss me 
 good night, and said, where will you be to-morrow night? 
 the thought that I might possibly be among those new 
 friends, and the meeting with them past, came over me 
 with new power. Will it indeed be? Oh, for strength 
 to go through all which to-morrow may bring! What 
 changes a few months have wrought we cannot tell. 
 Shall we find all things well ? O, these are hours of 
 suspense for us. There goes the anchor ! We are fast ! 
 Thank God ! O, my dear mother, how near we are ! H. 
 says fifteen miles from Smyrna. 
 
 K Friday morning. 1 am writing you beneath a lovely 
 sky, without a cloud, and we are sailing among scenery 
 far more beautiful than I have ever imagined. Dear 
 mother, this Gulf of Smyrna, with its picturesque moun 
 tain peaks, and the verdant slopes which surround it, fill 
 my eye and my heart too. We slept sweetly with the 
 consciousness of being so near to the friends who watch 
 for us, but the first streak of dawn started us, and H. was 
 soon on deck. We have been putting up the things and 
 coming up and down the stairs many times, but now all is 
 ready for shore. 
 
 We are now by the sea castle, about seven miles from 
 the city, slowly tacking in, Smyrna in full sight, and the 
 land castle on the hill behind. These scenes which have 
 occupied so many of my dreams and waking visions, are 
 now here before my eye, but far more beautiful than any 
 thing I have ever imagined. We hear the shepherd s calls 
 among the mountains, and lonely cypress trees are rising 
 
236 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 amid foliage of every variety of green. Now and then a 
 solitary sea bird flies slowly over the mountains, or rests 
 his wing upon the waters, which are smooth as a lake 
 beneath this quiet sky. Every thing is bathed in sun 
 shine. Dear mother, am I indeed here ! The city with 
 its red roofs rises before us. H. is all absorbed. We 
 shall not be in till afternoon, for the wind is very light 
 and against us too, so that we can only tack. Could you 
 but see this land, so unlike all that we ever looked upon, 
 so " 
 
 Here abruptly ends the journal of the Mediterranean. 
 The next communication to friends announced an illness 
 which confined her one month to her room and her couch. 
 She was carried from the vessel in a state of extreme 
 exhaustion, and in that state passed through the desired 
 yet trying meeting with her husband s friends. Two weeks 
 after her arrival, the journal was closed by anothej hand. 
 She lay upon her bed and dictated a few lines, her husband 
 being her amanuensis. 
 
 "December 1th, 1843. I must send you my journal, my 
 dearest mother, without giving you any of my impressions 
 of Smyrna. Of the city itself I have seen nothing, and in 
 my two quiet rooms, there is very little comparatively to 
 remind me that I am five thousand miles from my child 
 hood s home, among the bearded chins and turbaned heads 
 of these oriental nations. 
 
 You know how many notes and letters I intended to 
 send by the Stamboul ; but I must forego that pleasure, 
 and send only messages to my friends. How little I anti 
 cipated this illness ! I think I have learned somewhat 
 better, not to form plans for the future. I lie on my bed, 
 and ask, have I been brought thus far to be only a useless 
 encumbrance? I hope I may be resigned to whatever 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 237 
 
 station, my Heavenly Father wishes me to fill, whether in 
 sickness or in health. 
 
 Give my love to all my friends, and when a ship comes, 
 do send me a large package of letters. I want to hear 
 from all of them. Tell dear aunt, I have constantly some 
 little pleasant thing to remind me of her; and I fancy her 
 going down with her bright face to see you very often. 
 My love to Miss B. ; tell her how sorry I am I cannot 
 send her promised letter. And all my little friends ; give 
 them a great deal of love. Tell them I think of them in 
 their little prayer meeting, and their Sunday school class 
 continually. I cannot mention all my friends, but I have 
 them all in my mind, and I lie here and think of them one 
 by one, and long to see them. How sorry I am to be sick 
 while dear father is here. 
 
 Now, dear mother, I must say good-bye. I come to 
 America almost every night in my dreams. I wonder if 
 you don t sometimes come to Smyrna. I wish you could 
 know how many comforts I have here, and what kind 
 friends to take care of me. But I think of you a great 
 deal, how can I help it ! May God give you every bless 
 ing. 
 
 Your affectionate daughter, 
 
 MARY. 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 RESIDENCE IN SMYRNA. 
 
 SMYRNA, December 26th, 1843 
 
 MY own dear Mother, It is a great comfort to me that 
 I am able to commence my writing to you again, for I feel 
 as if indeed separated from you, when I cannot come and 
 tell you all that interests me. O, how sweet your letter 
 was to me ! We received it last Saturday, and every time 
 I read it, I feel as if I heard your voice, and pressed you to 
 my heart, and could look into your eyes. Its sweet influ 
 ence follows me wherever I go and whatever I do. 
 
 ********* 
 Oh, how often I thank God for giving me such parents ! 
 Now, while I am coming out into the world, beginning to 
 think and act for myself, I feel continually that the holy 
 influences which blest my childhood and youth, in that 
 home of New England, are the richest of inheritances. 
 And, my mother, when there come painful thoughts about 
 the separation, I look beyond this life, to the time when 
 we shall live together in heaven. How like a mother is 
 every line of your letter; but if you forget the hours of 
 sorrow and care I may have cost you, and remember only 
 the little comfort I may have been, I cannot forget them. 
 How many things I would alter if I lived my life over 
 again. How tenfold more carefully would I consult all 
 your wishes. Those were pleasant hours when we sat 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 239 
 
 together and sewed and talked, and when we walked on 
 the hill together ! I have been reminded of them while 
 sitting here with my Smyrna mamma, and threading her 
 needle as I used to do for you. Yes, dear mother, I will 
 * try to be a comfort to her, and to you also. May God 
 enable me to give you satisfaction in all that I do. I will 
 try to follow all your wishes, all your counsels. Oh, tell 
 me as you ever have, what you wish me to do and be, and 
 may you see, that all your care of me, your faithful tender 
 care and love for so many years, has not been quite lost 
 upon your daughter. 
 
 I closed my journal to you the morning we came in 
 sight of Smyrna. That day I never can forget, so brightly 
 shone the sun upon the water and the beautiful shores. 
 Smyrna lay far in the distance, with its red roofed houses. 
 Then my meeting with H. s friends and my Eastern life 
 was all in the future ; but a few hours after it began to be 
 present : and now Smyrna seems almost another home, 
 and these friends have ceased to be strangers. It was 
 late in the afternoon, perhaps four o clock, when we spied 
 the boat containing H. s brothers coming towards us. We 
 were some miles from the city, but they had gained per 
 mission to come on board, provided they, too, would go into 
 quarantine, if the Stamboul went. How my heart beat 
 when those six tall young men, all joyous in meeting H., 
 came along side. I staid in the cabin till H. called me, 
 which was as soon as they were fairly on deck, and I 
 went through the meeting very pleasantly, for they were 
 kind, good, frank, and very happy, so we soon became 
 friends. The captain, who went on shore to obtain pra 
 tique, by some mistake of the officers did not succeed, 
 and so the whole company remained all night on board. 
 Abram, one of the clerks, came to see what was the 
 
240 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 matter, but nothing could be done to help it. They 
 heaped on coal to make the fire burn brightly in the 
 parlor at home, and waited in vain for us to appear. 
 Just at dusk, while standing on deck, I was taken sud 
 denly very ill, and my illness increased so during the night, 
 that I thought I never could be moved into the city, and 
 almost concluded I must die in the Stamboul, but as morn 
 approached there was some mitigation of my sufferings. 
 The captain obtained pratique by dawn, and a light 
 breeze took us in amongst the shipping to the place for 
 anchorage. I was so weak and exhausted I feared it 
 would be impossible for me to go on shore, but by H. s 
 assistance I was placed in the arm-chair, and lowered by 
 the sailors into the little boat. I was as you may well 
 imagine, in a sad, strange state. The boat glided on as 
 over a summer sea, and the cool morning air revived me. 
 I was so weak that I scarcely know how we met on 
 shore ; but sick as I was, I shall never forget the beau 
 tiful sight they all made coming along the court to meet 
 us. At length I was placed quietly upon the sofa in 
 mamma s room, and then I was at rest. 
 
 " December 27th. My dear Mother. I am writing to 
 you in my own house, and in a very pleasant parlor. A 
 beautiful clear morning is shining, but it is very cold, and 
 it is strange that I feel the cold here more than I ever did 
 in America. Our house is quite a warm one for this place, 
 and the little parlor in which I am writing is heated by a 
 cheerful grate. The two little tables on either side the 
 fire-place are ornamented by the gifts of my friends. The 
 work-box which Mrs. E. gave me is a treasure. One large 
 window lights the room, looking on the street, and white 
 muslin curtains, with a pretty green and purple fringe, hang 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 241 
 
 very gracefully over it. Our little room I am sure you 
 would call quite cheerful. It has an American look. 
 Our desire is to have things neat, plain and in taste, so 
 that we can be comfortable, and have it pleasant for our 
 friends. 
 
 Dear father left for Constantinople the very day we 
 came to our house, which was last Friday, and will return 
 in a few weeks and stay with us. Our house is so com 
 fortable and the prospect from it so beautiful, that I fear we 
 shall become too much attached to it. Could you but have 
 one look from our terrace, of the gulf and the noble amphi 
 theatre of mountains rising in a sky of cloudless blue, you 
 would understand why H. loves his country so well. But 
 I trust we are willing to leave this place whenever duty 
 calls. We have given ourselves to the work of missions, 
 and if it will best promote that cause for us to labor else 
 where, would not you, dear mother, trust us in God s hands, 
 and be willing for us to leave Smyrna ? It may be, and per 
 haps will be best for us to remove to Constantinople. The 
 thing will not be done hastily. Mrs. V. L. appears very 
 sweetly about it, and in the trial of giving up H., knows 
 better how to sympathize with you, dear mother. God 
 will direct. The situation at C. is one which H. is well 
 calculated to fill. It is very interesting, too, to become the 
 guide of young Armenians ; for if he goes he is to be con 
 nected with the seminary. Here I am in the midst of a 
 pleasant circle of friends, but I am willing to go with dear 
 H. cheerfully amongst strangers. At first, the thought 
 was very painful. All my sympathies are in Smyrna. 
 You know I have loved it for years." 
 
 TO HER FATHER ON HIS BIRTH-DAY. 
 
 " My own dear Father, How little we thought, last De 
 cember, that when next your birth-day morning should 
 
 21 
 
242 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 shine, it would find yon on the shores of the Mediter 
 ranean, in the land where prophets and apostles have 
 lived and labored. So strange is our life ! so little we 
 know what even a day, much less a year, will bring ! 
 And yet, dear father, have we not as our years roll away, 
 increasing cause for trust in God, and for gratitude to Him, 
 who fills our cup with so many blessings ? 
 
 We have come, dear father, your two children, here in 
 this Eastern land, to offer our earnest wishes, that the life 
 which God has so graciously preserved these many years, 
 may still be blessed with his favor and love; and that 
 your labors in his cause, which in times past have been so 
 richly crowned with his favor, may still enjoy the smiles of 
 his approbation. 
 
 Do you wish to know how my heart feels about our 
 removal to Constantinople ? I think that as a missionary 
 I can say I am ready to go cheerfully, wherever Christ s 
 cause can be best promoted by our feeble labors ; and I 
 hope that this plan is from him, and one which he will 
 own and bless. I know that I need not ask your prayers. 
 I am persuaded that you continually remember us in our 
 work, and that when you return to your sphere of useful 
 ness, you will rejoice in the thought that we are endeavor 
 ing to diffuse among those who do not know our Saviour, 
 the light of truth which he has in love granted us. Mrs. 
 Van Lennep has indeed a hard struggle in giving up Henry. 
 She knows now how to sympathize with you and my dear 
 mother, but her Christian feelings rise over every other ; 
 and she said to me, while the tears were in her eyes, after 
 Dr. Anderson left, " I have comfort in this promise, k They 
 that water shall be watered. " 
 
 And now, my dear father, though we are called to endure 
 separations and trials in this life, yet let us look forward to 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 24 o 
 
 that higher and holier existence which the gospel reveals. 
 There may we all at last be gathered, with many of those 
 for whom we are laboring. 
 
 Ever your affectionate daughter, 
 
 MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 SMYRNA, December 22e?, 1843." 
 
 The winter that Mary spent in Smyrna, there was to 
 some extent a re-organization of our missions in the East. 
 An important change was made in the Smyrna mission. 
 Some of its laborers returned home, and some were removed 
 to other fields. Among the latter was the husband of 
 Mary. It was thought that his usefulness would be 
 greatly increased by removing him to another and a wider 
 sphere of action. This was a great and an unexpected 
 trial to both of them, and particularly to Mary. When 
 she gave herself to the work of missions, it was with the 
 expectation of being located in Smyrna, at least for a con 
 siderable time, as that was. and had ever been, the field of 
 her husband s labors. All her preparations had been made 
 with reference to that place, and she expected to remain 
 there, until she should become acclimated, and accustomed 
 to Eastern life. She hoped also to have remained in her 
 Smyrna home, as she had for some time regarded it, until she 
 should have qualified herself by a study of the languages, to 
 take her place among the missionaries of the East. Added 
 to all, she had friends there, with whom she had corres 
 ponded from her childhood, and for two years she had 
 looked to it as her future home. A guiding and overruling 
 Providence had led her steps thither, and to human view 
 she was well qualified for the state of society which ex 
 isted there. 
 
 It is not surprising, therefore, that it should have cost 
 her something of a struggle to bring herself with cheerful- 
 
244 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 ness to leave the place ; nor that it should have been an 
 additional source of perplexity to her mind, when at length, 
 a new and very important field was assigned as the scene 
 of their future labors, the main burden of which was to 
 rest upon herself, and which would require the united en 
 ergies both of experience and of physical strength. 
 During all this winter they were kept in a continual 
 state of agitation and suspense, uncertain where they were 
 to be stationed, and what would be their particular sphere 
 of labor. In the mean time they devoted themselves to 
 the languages, and also to what of Christian influence 
 they could exert over the large and interesting field where 
 Providence had placed them, among whom, as Mary said, 
 there were many " they were longing to win to Christ." 
 
 In consequence of this unsettled state of things, they 
 could form no plan of effort which they could pursue for 
 any certain time ; and as a consequence of this, there was 
 no account of labor that could be placed in the annals of 
 missions ; but it is believed that another day will show 
 that some few names at least have found their way into 
 the Lamb s Book of Life, as the result of her brief resi 
 dence there. 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM HER FIRST S. JOURNAL. 
 
 Friday afternoon, Jan. \2th, 1844. 
 
 u My dearest Mother, I have been wishing these many 
 days to commence my journal to you, yet I have so many 
 things to say, I scarcely know where to commence ; and if 
 I were not determined you should have a good idea how 
 my life passes, I should be discouraged from attempting it. 
 But, my dear mother, there is coming an hour, a joyful 
 hour, when in heaven and at rest, H. and you and I can 
 talk over all the dealings of our Father, and * remember 
 all the way that God has led us. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 245 
 
 I have told you of the meeting with H. s friends, and to 
 the time when I entered his mother s room, all bewildered 
 and weak, and found a resting place on the sofa. That 
 first day of my Smyrna life was full of thought. The 
 plrysician was immediately called in, and then all left me 
 but mamma, (my Smyrna mamma.) In the course of the 
 morning, Crusula. the Greek woman, appeared with some 
 rice gruel for me. H. shall draw you the picture of a 
 Greek woman, sometime. During the afternoon I slept, 
 and when waking, heard the clock, which stands in the 
 corridor, striking five, and I had the half bewildered feeling 
 which one has on waking in-a strange place, after strange 
 events. Mamma and H. sat in the room with me, and 
 other members of the family came in for a few moments. 
 It was soon dark, and they all left me for supper, and my 
 Greek woman came with something for me. Then I lay 
 alone on the sofa, and while dozing, heard the family sing 
 ing their evening hymn after prayers. The voices all 
 blended so perfectly, arid the music came in such a deep, 
 rich strain, in half chanting style, that I lay spell bound, 
 my whole frame thrilled. The words were Our days are 
 as the grass, and though I could not distinguish them, 
 they sang with so much expression I could almost tell the 
 sentiments. 
 
 The next morning I had my coffee in bed. Don t be 
 startled, dear mother, it was barley coffee, the family take 
 it for health s sake. Coffee, with a piece of delicious 
 bread, was my only breakfast during my illness there, or 
 instead of bread, I sometimes had a kind of French crust, 
 which comes from France, and is better for invalids. Cru 
 sula, or else Adonia, would bring my coffee along the cor 
 ridor as soon as H. went out to breakfast, and then mamma 
 would come immediately after and see how I did. I used 
 to watch fr her sweet smile and cheerful voice. Then 
 
246 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 after prayers she would come and help me dress and take 
 my place on the sofa. The women here are great enemies 
 to cold water in sickness. I quite laughed at Crusula s 
 idea of heating the water I drank, but I did have to drink 
 boiled water half cooled, some of the time, for I made up 
 my mind to do just as the ladies in this country do. 
 
 The day after my arrival was the Sabbath, you know. 
 The Sabbaths at Mrs. V. L. s are very still. All go to 
 the Dutch chapel at ten in the morning, and in the after 
 noon, mamma and several of the family attend the mis 
 sionary service, which is also in the chapel. From my 
 room I heard no street sounds, for the house is in a court ; 
 occasionally a camel bell, and the bells of the churches, 
 which ring at eight, twelve, and four, during the week, and 
 every half hour on the Sabbath. These were almost all 
 the sounds that came to my room. The bright blue sky 
 looked in at the window, the evening gun sounded at half 
 past seven, the partridges made their voices heard on the 
 terrace, for E. was taming some, and the favorite cat 
 would jump on the window and mew to be admitted. 
 Thus I had few sounds to remind me I was in Asia. 
 Yet many strange things would come under my observa 
 tion, and even in my room I gradually became acquainted 
 with Smyrna life, and Smyrna beings. As I was able to 
 bear it, the relatives of the family would come one at a 
 time and have a little pleasant chat with me. On Mon 
 day .afternoon the Consul called. He had called before, 
 but I had not been able to see him, and when he came the 
 second time, mamma thought I had better receive him. I 
 dreaded the meeting, yet he was so kind, and his blessing 
 was so patriarchal, that I quickly felt easy. 
 
 The first part of the time I was at Mrs. V. L. s my 
 mind was occupied very much with my illness. My state 
 seemed rather peculiar, and puzzled them all of course it 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 247 
 
 puzzled me, and sometimes I thought I should never be well 
 again. I was indeed sick, and suffered much from pain ; 
 but they were all so kind to me, and mamma was so careful, 
 just as you are, that I felt I was indeed amongst friends 
 
 The first week we were there, H. was occupied with 
 our things, getting them from the ship, and unpacking. 
 
 It was on Monday evening after our arrival that my 
 piano was unpacked, and set up in the large parlor. I 
 was delighted to find how much all were pleased, particu 
 larly R., whose taste and judgment are so exquisite in 
 music. How thrillingly the tones first sounded ! How 
 they carried me back to the window beneath the cherry 
 trees in my own dear home. The following days my 
 bureau was unpacked, and the things all taken out to see 
 if they were hurt. I lay on the sofa while one drawer 
 after another was opened and brought into the room, and 
 L y undid the things. There were the beautiful gifts of 
 my dear friends. How precious every thing was to me, 
 even the very papers they were wrapped in. Oh, mamma, 
 if friendship is so sweet on earth, what must it be in 
 heaven, where there are no separations, no regrets, to 
 mingle with our love ! 
 
 On the second Sabbath after our arrival, dear father 
 came from Athens. All day on Saturday we watched for 
 the steamer, but not until Sunday morning did it appear. 
 Before breakfast, one of the brothers knocked at our door to 
 say that the steamer was in sight, and would be in, in half 
 an hour. So H. took coffee and went with Augustus on 
 board. Meantime mamma came to get me ready to see 
 father, but there were so many things for him to do, that 
 he did not come to us till after the family had returned from 
 the chapel. Then he came, and I was so glad. It seemed 
 so strange to him that he was really in Smyrna. Mamma 
 came and saw him and then he prayed with us. 
 
248 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 The Tuesday after his arrival, I began to be much worse 
 and on Wednesday morning I was unable to leave my bed. 
 I was weak and full of pain. Those were weary days in 
 bed. I counted the hours, and tried every way to beguile 
 the time; sometimes by repeating poetry I had long for 
 gotten ; sometimes by thinking of home friends ; but that, 
 in my state, made the tears come, and then dear H. felt 
 badly, and I could not bear to pain him. He watched 
 every symptom I had, and for his sake I tried to be cheer 
 ful and patient. During my confinement to my bed, dear 
 father would come and sit by me a few moments each 
 day. I was very sad at not being able to see him more, 
 and I saw he was sad and worried. How sorry I felt to 
 be sick while he was in Smyrna." 
 
 It was during this illness that the proposed plan of her 
 husband s removal was made known to her. Her own 
 account of the matter is so simple and touching that it 
 may not be uninteresting if it is inserted here. " At first, 
 my heart died within me ; but I prayed much over it. 
 You know how all my interests were in Smyrna, and then 
 I had got the idea that H. s influence was necessary to his 
 family. The plan seemed pleasant to H.. though the idea 
 of leaving his home was trying to him. He felt that the 
 station in the high school was the place for him, and just 
 suited his tastes ; and that so long as he was a missionary, 
 his great work must be on unevangelized ground, and that 
 however badly he and his family felt about separating, yet, 
 if he could do more good in any other field, he must go. I 
 tried to feel just as he did. and became more and more 
 reconciled to it. Sabbath was a precious day indeed ; we 
 talked and prayed over all our affairs, and felt comforted 
 that God would order all things right. It was a great trial 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 249 
 
 to mamma. She could not speak of it. Her eyes were 
 filled with tears often, and yet she very sweetly gave up 
 H. to the call of duty. Still she clung to the hope of our 
 remaining, for it was not decided. When every body was 
 rejoicing in our pleasant new house, we felt it was not our 
 home ; and I tried to look only to heaven, for we felt there 
 indeed is our only resting place. Every Constantinople 
 steamer we watched for anxiously ; and last week letters 
 told us that the plan could not be effected. Still we re 
 mained unsettled, for Dr. A. has the opinion that we had 
 better remove. But we are in God s hands. These trials 
 have been blessed to our hearts, in many ways. It has 
 interested me more in my missionary work, and taught me 
 to look to heaven more. At present H. is occupied with 
 the Turkish language, and perhaps we may live and die in 
 Smyrna. Our greatest desire is to be where we can do the 
 most good, and God will direct us." 
 
 On the day Mary entered her own house, her father left 
 for Constantinople. Just before embarking he had "the 
 pleasure of stepping in, and giving H. and herself his bless- 
 ing," in their new residence. She had hoped to have the 
 satisfaction of his society on entering it, but she consoled 
 herself with the expectation of a long visit when the 
 business which called him to Constantinople should be 
 accomplished. But she was destined to experience an 
 other disappointment. Instead of returning and spending 
 the remainder of the winter with her as was expected, it 
 was thought necessary for him to go to Trebizond. Of 
 course he must make the voyage of the Black Sea ; and 
 she felt considerable solicitude for his safety during this 
 somewhat hazardous undertaking. And then his stay 
 must be very brief, after his return. He must soon leave 
 
250 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 those shores for his far off home, and she would look upon 
 him in this world again never. 
 
 SMYRNA, Jan. 19M, 1844. 
 
 " My dear Mrs. F. Those quiet hours when I used to 
 talk with you of Eastern life, come often to my memory, 
 now that I am mingling with scenes which then dwelt in 
 the dim future. H. and I very often talk of you, and I tell 
 him so much about the pleasant times I have had in your 
 family, that New Haven scenes and New Haven friends 
 have become quite familiar. I have brought you all to 
 Smyrna with me in my heart. Oh my dear, dear friends, 
 we are not separated, even by this great ocean ; for if 
 warm affection and continual interest in all that concerns 
 you, can make you feel near to me, though absent, then I 
 shall have you close by my side while I mingle in this 
 new life, so strange and new, that I almost doubt, if I 
 ever were M. H. And yet I have too many recollections 
 connected with her life, and think too much, and too 
 warmly, of the friends she knew, to doubt my personal 
 identity long. The great trial in my intercourse with my 
 dear home is, that it must be so long before I can know 
 what happens there. But we try to trust you all in the 
 hands of our Heavenly Father, while we hope we are pre 
 paring our hearts with you. for a happy meeting, when the 
 sins, the sicknesses, and the separations of this life are for 
 ever over. 
 
 The talks I have had so many times with you, I find 
 many occasions to remember. Your experience in many 
 things I try to profit by, and something in our household 
 arrangements is continually reminding me of your ways, 
 and I think how aunt Susan did such and such things. I 
 have many scenes which I could describe to j^ou, of our 
 life here. In my journal to mamma, I try to keep her in- 
 
MRS. MARV E. VAN LENNEP. 25 I 
 
 formed of all that passes, and to let her know how Ori 
 ental life appears to me. But you will want to know 
 whether my anticipations agreed with the reality. You 
 know I always feared to anticipate much, and so I was 
 not likely to be disappointed ; but if I had anticipated 
 much more, there would have been no danger of disap 
 pointment. I find myself in the midst of a warm hearted, 
 affectionate, sincere circle, who treat me as one of them. 
 I have every thing I could wish so far as their intercourse 
 with me is concerned. Mrs. V. L. is a very lovely lady, 
 and it is a pleasure to call her mamma, and to look up to 
 her for counsel and guidance. In her I have found one 
 who in a measure supplies the need I feel for my own 
 precious mother. 
 
 I like every thing in the manner of living. H. laughs 
 and says I was made to be an l Oriental. I believe 1 have 
 surprised them all, by falling in so readily with the ordi 
 nary Eastern mode of life, and they say it must be, because 
 I came prepared to be pleased, and had not the prejudices 
 that Americans generally have. 
 
 But why should I write these things. My heart is not 
 now thinking of Smyrna, it has come to your room, and it 
 longs for an assurance that this winter has not made you 
 worse. O, could I know that you were better ! God leads 
 us, dear aunt S., by different ways to prepare us for a 
 holier existence. He tries our characters by the discipline 
 they most need. It will be blessed to reach at last the 
 heavenly world ! The happier I am here, the more I look 
 forward to heaven. I think increasing affection makes our 
 spirits look forward more earnestly, to a higher existence, 
 and we seek in the hopes which the knowledge of that 
 higher existence brings, the pledge of a continued and en 
 during affection, beyond this fleeting life. The changes 
 through which I have passed these last six months, have 
 
25 2 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 introduced me to many new scenes in life s great drama ; 
 and I think changing to a life so very unlike what my 
 childhood has been, makes this world seem more what it 
 really is, a passing shadow ; while all that is connected 
 with the soul and its destinies, assumes a far deeper im 
 portance. 
 
 I need not tell you, that it is interesting to become ac 
 quainted with new modes of thinking, and new forms of 
 character. I find, however, that I am still in the midst of 
 human beings, with human sympathies but I am contin 
 ually reminded that I am in the midst of a land where the 
 religion of Jesus does not shed its benign influence. A true 
 Christian is a rare being here ; and yet there are such, and 
 their silent influence works slowly but surely. 
 
 ******* * 
 
 Our house is most delightful. It stands on the sea-side; 
 and we have a garden filled with roses, and orange and 
 lemon trees, now in bloom, and bearing ripe fruit too. The 
 view from our terrace is the finest I ever looked upon. 
 The gulf reposes in the midst of noble and picturesque 
 mountain scenery, and over all is thrown an exquisite 
 violet and roslT coloring, the charm of all these skies. An 
 Austrian frigate is anchored in front of our house, about 
 forty rods from the shore, and when lowering their flag at 
 sunset, the band connected with it play every evening, 
 with exquisite taste, a slow and solemn hymn ; which H. 
 says is a prayer of itself. 
 
 I thank you very.jnuch for your precious lock of hair, 
 and for the kind w.erds I received from you both, just be 
 fore our deparj<ftre. That was a sad parting in Boston. 
 You, my dear -auot^., I know will remember us, and pray 
 for us. We shall meet again, to talk of all the way our 
 God has led us: It will not be here but through grace 
 it may be in he"aven." 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 253 
 
 SMYRNA, Jan. 24th, 1844. 
 
 " My own precious Mother. Your welcome letter of 
 Nov. 30th, came yesterday. As I was passing the glass 
 door, which opens on the terrace, I caught a glimpse of the 
 French steamer off at some distance, and I hoped some 
 news would reach us from you. We have a fine view of 
 every vessel that comes along the Gulf, and my heart pal 
 pitates between hope and fear, every time I see the thin 
 cloud of smoke rising over a dark hulled boat. O, my 
 dearest mother, my thoughts of you turn into prayers con 
 tinually. Only can I keep quiet by prayer, when I remem 
 ber the distance which separates us. When each evening 
 we remember before our Father s throne, our dear absent 
 ones, it is a comfort to think that God loves you with an 
 everlasting love, and can do for you far more than our most 
 ardent wishes could desire. Dear mother, God is our best 
 friend. He knows just what we need. O, how sweet to 
 trust him, and to trust each other with him, during our 
 separation. 
 
 I have always so much to say, that now I have begun to 
 limit myself to so much time a day for writing, I do not 
 love to know any thing which you do not know. But I 
 think there is coming a time, when in peace and at rest, we 
 can talk over all the way our God has led us. Oh, my 
 dear mother, for that blessed hour I do try to prepare, and 
 my thoughts look forward more and more to that world, 
 where we can all be together with our Father, and where 
 there is no more sin. Pray for me, that my heart may be 
 kept. I am in danger continually, I deeply feel, of grow 
 ing neglectful of the only important things and yet. the 
 danger is more from my own evil heart, than from outside 
 circumstances. You know my not being well, or able to 
 mix in general society, has permitted me to have much 
 
 22 
 
254 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 time for quiet reflection ; and I do thank God for it. It is 
 just what I have needed, and I have had some heart - 
 searching times, when I have felt that none but my Saviour 
 could help me. It is a comfort to talk with H., for he has 
 gone down very deep into the heart, and he understands 
 the manner of spirit which we ought to cherish ; and 
 when we have our quiet talks about Christ and heaven, 
 my own soul feels encouraged and refreshed. The mis 
 sionary work grows in importance too, and I long to be 
 doing something that will lead these dark minds to the 
 light of the gospel. 
 
 I am keeping a journal in which I write every few days. 
 I have already sent you one from this place, and I want it 
 should go home very fast, for I am anxious you should 
 know all about our life all that interests us. I think that 
 I do not feel very far separated from you. I look off on 
 the blue waters, which shine beneath the bold cape Kara- 
 borna, which bear on their bosom the good ships, by means 
 of which we can talk together, though separated, and it 
 does not seem a very immense way to America. And then, 
 I know that we continually meet in prayer at our Father s 
 throne, and that he looks upon us and watches us, as if we 
 were still together, and if daily communion can ever bring 
 friends near, then we are very near. Only when I know 
 that you have been sick, I feel troubled that I was not by 
 to lighten a little your daily cares. I picture you moving 
 about in the rooms at home, and each parlor with its open 
 doors, and the table in the centre, and your rocking-chair, 
 and the stools, and the thermometer, and all the various 
 articles come up with a distinctness which makes me for 
 get I am five thousand miles from you. Oh, mamma, it 
 would be very hard, if it were not for the hopes of heaven. 
 But are not those sweet and very glorious hopes ? And 
 cannot we bear the separation, dearest mother, when we 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 255 
 
 think too that every step was ordered by God ; and that H. 
 and I are in the midst of a dark land, striving, though with 
 feeble means, to give to those around us the light which 
 we enjoy ? Oh, yes, I am sure you would not call us home. 
 
 Mamma leans on H., and I fear it will be a sad trial 
 should we go away. She is so kind to us, and watchful 
 for our comfort, that it will be to me like leaving home a 
 second time, should we go. Yet H. longs to have a larger 
 field of usefulness, and though it is a great trial to think 
 of leaving this circle whom we are longing to win to Christ, 
 yet I hope we are willing to go. I do not know what the 
 younger members of the family would say, if they thought 
 there was a possibility of our going away. We have 
 sweet talks together, while I love to watch their opening 
 minds, and the unfolding of their Christian character. All 
 four are here at our Bible class on Sunday evenings, and 
 they stay afterwards and read D Aubigne in French. Mr. 
 Adger is translating it into Armenian. How interesting it 
 will be to that people, for their circumstances are similar 
 to Luther s times. 
 
 29/A. Yesterday I attended church for the first time 
 sirce that rainy Sabbath in October, when we rode to 
 Park-street church together. The chapel is in the court 
 of the Dutch Consul, and much more like a church than I 
 supposed. It is very small, but has an aisle and slips and 
 pulpit, besides a kind of pulpit in which the Consul site. 
 It is the custom to pray silently, leaning forward, on first 
 going into church ; and, in the French service, the gentle 
 men stand, when they first enter the slip, with the hat be 
 fore the face, and pray for a blessing silently. It is an 
 appropriate custom, if their hearts are in it. 
 
 Dear mother, I thought a great deal about you on thanks 
 giving. I lived over and over again the pleasant thanks- 
 
256 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 giving days we have passed at home, and I hoped you 
 would not feel very lonely now we were away." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 -Jan. 17 th. Went this afternoon with mamma, to call 
 on Mrs. Adger. In our walk we stopped at the Dutch 
 Hospital, and passed into the grave-yard. I stood by E. s 
 grave. It is a sweet, quiet place, beneath the trees. It 
 will be pleasant resting there when our work is over, till 
 the resurrection mom." 
 
 " 27th. Dear mamma, I have been thinking for the past 
 few days, what would be the use of attending to these 
 various duties,* if it were not for the discipline they are to 
 us, and for their effect on the character ; and how tired 
 those must be of a daily routine, who look only at this 
 world. But things are so pleasant and so important, 
 viewed in relation to a future state." 
 
 On Saturday evening, we had a pleasant re 
 hearsal, and practiced Let us with a joyful mind, to sing 
 in church. We took only the air, and not the whole an 
 them, and found the other verses belonging to the Psalm, 
 and yesterday afternoon it was sung. The boys love to 
 practice with us the anthems and chorusses of the Boston 
 Academy Collection, and Night shades no longer, Now 
 elevate the sign of Judah, and Glory be to God, carry 
 me back to our old organ, and I think I am home again." 
 
 "3lst. I have begun Greek in earnest, and say a lesson 
 every day to H., and write a French conversation also. 
 The Hodjaf tells me a Turkish word, and Demetro a Greek 
 
 * Some rather monotonous household duties, to which she was in the habit ol 
 attending, and of which she had just been speaking. 
 t Turkish teacher. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP 257 
 
 one, for both seem inclined to have me speak something 
 besides English. I shall learn by little and little, yet very 
 slowly. When ill at mamma s, Crusula, who only spoke 
 Greek, tried to teach me simple words, such as bread, wa 
 ter, salt, &c., and I was forced to learn, so as to make her 
 understand what I wanted. She was determined to teach 
 me, and persevered in making me pronounce after her as 
 she stood before me with my dish of food. 
 
 Demetro took dinner here to-day. When he came in he 
 surprised me with " good morning," in evident satisfaction 
 at being able to say a word to me in English. He and the 
 Hodjah both have learned good morning, and I make out 
 by much thought to say their Turkish and Greek saluta 
 tions. The Hodjah quite laughed yesterday at my think 
 ing countenance, just before he left, as if I were conning 
 over my lesson. 
 
 The Turks have far less of scorn for foreigners than they 
 formerly had. The Protestants they particularly like, and 
 call them Freemasons, but the Catholics they detest for 
 their image worship. While I am disgusted with the ab 
 surdities of their faith, and with the ways they devise to 
 keep each other s courage up, and also to keep away the 
 truth which is shining more and more as they have inter 
 course with other nations, still I am very much interested 
 in them as men. If we look upon them as having feelings 
 and sympathies in common with us, we shall be the more 
 interested in their eternal welfare. We shall long to see 
 them brought to the knowledge of the only true religion. 
 
 We have received letters which tell us we are candi 
 dates for Trebizond. You know that is an increasingly 
 interesting field, but there are weighty reasons why it is 
 best we should not go there. 
 
 While we were writing dear father on the subject, Dr. 
 22* 
 
258 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Smith, bound for Mosul, came in. He gave us a very in 
 teresting account of the work at Trebizond, amongst the 
 Armenians. After he was gone I went to pray over my 
 feelings, and walked a little on the terrace. Dear mother, 
 my earnest desire is to feel so deep and abiding an interest 
 in this work, which we feel to be indeed the best, and the 
 most worthy of all our efforts, that no personal sacrifices 
 shall cool my ardor. It was over this that I prayed when 
 I walked on the terrace. 
 
 H. is writing a sermon on a very interesting topic, " Our 
 life, so little in itself, so important in its consequences," and 
 I am deeply interested in the thoughts it brings. How im 
 portant all things become, viewed in the light of eternity, 
 and the missionary work especially increases in interest, 
 when thus viewed. Dear mother, we do not know what 
 the gospel is doing for us, until we see the l darkness and 
 shadow of death which exists without its blessed light. 
 The more I become acquainted with the East, the more 
 precious does the love of God and his service appear." 
 
 "February 13th. Last Friday was a warm, sunshiny 
 day, so after doing various little things in the morning, and 
 writing to dear father at Constantinople, we took our din 
 ner, and sallied forth for a walk to Caravan bridge, that 
 famous bridge over the Meles, with the tall, dark cypresses 
 on either side, beneath which the Turkish tomb-stones rise, 
 and with its innumerable strings of camels and donkeys, 
 and men of all conditions and all appearances, that bridge 
 I have seen at last. We went through one narrow, dark 
 street after another, for a long time, where every thing is 
 so foreign that the very idea of a street like home seems 
 strange. I sigh for a clean, open, bright American street. 
 When we passed through the Armenian quarter, we looked 
 in at the courts and saw pleasant fountains and green 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 259 
 
 leaves ; and the bright aspect within, was a strange con 
 trast to the buildings without. That quarter seemed 
 brighter throughout than the Greek quarter, and one street 
 in particular was broad and comfortable, but in general the 
 broken paving stones hurt the feet badly. The bridge is a 
 little out of the city, and before we reached it, we passed 
 some of the gardens, and the aspect was a little country 
 like. I had seen nothing so much like the country since I 
 left home, and it reminded me somewhat of large farm gar 
 dens like] but oh, how different. There was green grass 
 growing beneath trees loaded with fruit. Orange trees 
 they were. The tall, towering Castle hill rose On one side 
 of us, with the old frowning ruins, which seemed almost to 
 touch the clouds, and the gardens were on the other side. 
 We should call that Castle hill a real high mountain. 
 Then we came to the cypress trees, the old solemn trees, 
 growing so thick and dark I almost held my breath with 
 awe. There lay thousands who lived and died followers 
 of the false prophet. Among all those white stones, sur 
 mounted with their turbans, there is not one which marks 
 a Christian s grave. There sleep those whom the plague 
 has mown down. It is a crowded city, so full I should 
 think there was no room for another to rest. We sat to 
 rest on some seats, just below the bridge, on one side, and 
 watched the throng of passers. Many people walk there 
 to see and to be seen." 
 
 " \5th. My dear mother, you speak in your last concern 
 ing my being injured by the worldly mindedness around 
 me. I try to be careful. If constant prayer and many 
 fears will keep my heart from being drawn from my work, 
 then, dear mother, you may hope I shall not forget the ob 
 ject for which I came to these lands. O, for your sake, 
 for the sake of all who love and pray for us, we long to 
 
f 
 $60 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 approve ourselves as true, self-denying missionaries. I 
 cannot trust in myself, my only hope is in Jesus. My 
 temptations are somewhat different here, but they are not 
 much increased. Indeed if you knew the quiet life I lead, 
 you would rejoice. It is sweet to watch the ripening piety 
 of some of the younger members of the family ; and then 
 our Bible class warms my heart. And when I am in our 
 church, our quiet little chapel, listening to the prayers and 
 sermons and joining in the sacred songs, my heart feels 
 happy that I am not quite debarred from gospel privileges. 
 I hope we shall have a female prayer-meeting ; this will be 
 another help. But I long to engage in something more 
 active, when so many are around me in such sad errors. 
 It does increase a missionary spirit to see the state of things 
 here, and I hope by God s grace I shall be able to deny my 
 self for their good. There are some dear ones here, with 
 whom I can as yet say very little. I long to draw them 
 to me and to whisper about better things. Sometimes I 
 try a little, and I pray for them. 
 
 I cannot live without much time spent in the quiet study 
 of my Bible, and in serious thought, but I do not, as I once 
 did, nearly wear myself out in feeling, though sometimes 
 the old spirit creeps over me. And though I feel more 
 deeply than ever my sins, and have earnest longings to be 
 free from every hindrance to a holy life, yet I find the way 
 to grow better is to look to God in humble, fervent prayer, 
 and not. to sit brooding over my short comings. 
 
 The trials of this winter have called many feelings into 
 exercise, and have been a new, but needed discipline, par 
 ticularly the trials connected with our leaving Smyrna. I 
 have shrunk from going away because I dreaded the trials. 
 This has humbled me, and has led me to look at the mis 
 sionary work, and to daily ardent prayer, that I might 
 have a right spirit. I have feared to pray that we might 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 261 
 
 stay in Smyrna. I could not utter such a prayer ; but I 
 have earnestly sought a spirit which would make me happy 
 wherever duty called me. Sometimes I have succeeded, 
 sometimes not, but I trust I do improve in right feelings. 
 I say to myself Our Father in Heaven knows best. We 
 are liable to err, even with the best intentions ; we will 
 carry our cause to God, and ask him to bless all these 
 trials, and to give us wisdom for the future, and wherein 
 we have erred, to pardon us for Christ s sake. And if I 
 can cherish this spirit, dear mother, do not you think our 
 trials will be blest to us ?" 
 
 Early on Sabbath morning, Nicoli came to tell 
 us the steamer was coming ; so H. dressed and went in a 
 boat, while I staid on the terrace till I spied them returning. 
 There was my dear precious father. He has had a pleas 
 ant time, but it is good to have him with us again ; his in 
 fluence is so sweet, and his sound, candid advice is worth 
 so much to us. In the afternoon dear father preached a 
 sermon which refreshed us very much : The Gospel, the 
 power of God to salvation. The streets were crowded ; 
 masquers every where, for tis carnival now, and the 
 sweet atrno^here of our little chapel was in striking con 
 trast with the streets, where were crowds of gay, degraded 
 beings. 
 
 In the evening we had our Bible class, and father told 
 me the plan was proposed of our going to Constantinople, 
 H. to be engaged with the Armenians, but chiefly for the 
 reason of establishing a female school. I started at the 
 idea, but father explained to me that the responsibility 
 would not be so great as I feared ; for they would have 
 only a few in the commencement, and I should acquire 
 experience as I went along. What they want is the in 
 fluence of a Christian family to be exerted over those who 
 
262 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 are to become the wives and mothers of the Armenian na 
 tion. What a field ! How interesting ! How responsible ! 
 But am I adequate to the undertaking ? I fear the sacri 
 fices I am called to make will influence my judgment, 
 and damp my desire to train those young girls for use 
 fulness. I do not like the idea of becoming the head of a 
 boarding school, and superintending all its concerns. I 
 love a quiet way of living too well to make the idea of be 
 coming a matron very pleasant. This causes me, I fear, 
 to magnify the difficulties ; and then, my heart clings to 
 Smyrna. The matter is all to be talked over to be con 
 sidered in all its lights, and may God direct." 
 
 U 21st. Again I am alone, dear mother, and I come to 
 talk with you. I feel the need of prayer more than ever 
 before. I find that when I am so engaged, my feelings 
 become nearer right than at other times. How I long to 
 lay aside the evil of my heart, and the prejudices I have. 
 You know I have always disliked a school, and a boarding 
 school particularly, and I am distressed that I should feel 
 this still. I mean to put it all down, for I am convinced 
 it is foolish as well as sinful. Besides, it is to be a family, 
 and not an ordinary boarding school. Then it will be the 
 way to become acquainted with Armenian females gener 
 ally, and thus to preach to them the gospel. The Arme 
 nians desire it very much. Their females must be raised. 
 We shall wait the leadings of Providence, and we pray 
 that God will do, not what would spare us sacrifices, but 
 what will be the best for this people. 
 
 I am full of sorrow that this pleasant circle must be 
 broken up. This is the last week we can all be together. I 
 pity Mr. and Mrs. Temple. Their hearts bleed to give up 
 the object for which they have so long labored the poor 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 263 
 
 Greeks. How I wish Mrs. Temple s mantle of devoted- 
 ness might fall on me." 
 
 " 27th. Dear mother, I have much to say. When H. 
 returned from the meeting on Wednesday, he said that, 
 every thing favored our going to Gonstantinople, and so we 
 thought that God s hand was in it. After dinner, Dr. A. 
 came over to talk with us, and the matter was decided. 
 Sometimes my heart died within me to be at the head of 
 a seminary, and to have no home but in a boarding school. 
 But I walked in the garden, and prayed and thought of all 
 sides in the question. True, it would be connected with 
 some disadvantages but what station of usefulness is 
 without its trials ? True, our own home might lose some 
 of its quiet, but then we should be helping to make happy 
 homes for many others. True, I disliked a boarding school, 
 and had some prejudices hard to be overcome but the 
 idea of a thing being unpleasant, is a very foolish reason 
 for giving up a good work. And then it will never be an 
 American boarding school. What is most needed is, to 
 have a sweet Christian family influence over the training 
 minds of the young females. The number must be small, 
 arid the charge, in o merely worldly point of view, will not 
 be great. We have looked very closely at that part, for 
 neither H. nor father would consent to have me in a situa 
 tion where I should be weighed down with care. And 
 then H. will be in a much more useful sphere in Constanti 
 nople, than he can be here. He will have continual op 
 portunities for religious conversation, not only with the pu 
 pils and their parents, but with others who will be attracted 
 by the school. Besides, he will open a room in C. for re 
 ligious conversation, and will commence preaching as soon 
 as he is master of the language. His knowledge of the 
 Turkish will enable him. even now. to commence his la- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 bors Well, mamma, this is the outline of the thoughts I 
 have had, and I have had, beside, many shades of thought 
 and feeling, with regard to all these, and my mind is per 
 suaded that it is the work for us to do and I thank God 
 for permitting us to look forward to such a work, and I 
 pray that he will give us strength and right feelings. 
 
 I have looked at all the sacrifices. I shrank from them 
 at first, and then felt deeply grieved that I should be reluc 
 tant to bear some burdens, when the work was such a glo 
 rious one, and when God had blessed me so. But, my 
 dear mother, I have prayed continually over the subject. 
 I am willing now to endure trials to engage in a work 
 which is so worthy of a far better and wiser person than 
 I. I have committed myself all to Christ, that he may 
 lead me, and work in me, and by me." 
 
 TO M. 
 
 SMYRNA, Feb. 22<2, 1844. 
 
 " My dear, precious sister. Your letter, so long and 
 interesting, has this evening reached me v and while H. and 
 my dear father have gone to our weekly meeting, I sit 
 down to have a quiet long talk. I am ready to answer 
 every question you ask, and many moire beside, and also 
 to tell you every thing which can be comprised in the short 
 space of a letter. I think I know just what you would 
 like to learn. From books only a general idea of these 
 countries can be obtained ; but I had become, through H., 
 so well acquainted with Asia Minor, that when I sailed 
 down the Gulf of Smyrna, on the morning of the 24th of 
 November, the mountains, the old sea castle, the red-roofed 
 city, the cypress trees rising solemnly toward the sky, all 
 seemed familiar things, and I greeted them as if they were 
 not strangers. 
 
MRS. MARY E VAN LENNEP. 265 
 
 On landing, we went to Mrs. V. L. s, the mother of H., 
 where we remained a month in the midst of a most lovely 
 circle of friends. As I was quite an invalid, I was confined 
 to the sofa and bed nearly all the time, but I had every 
 attention and every comfort. Things here, are not essen 
 tially different from American ways of living ; our houses 
 are very pleasant, and the cooking very nice ; and one can 
 live here very well, so far as this world goes. The streets, 
 to be sure, are gloomy, dirty and narrow, but you have only 
 to knock at the heavy barn-like looking doors, and you are 
 at once ushered into courts, often beautifully paved, and 
 pass up into apartments which look as romantic as if they 
 were made for story books. There are many Europeans 
 here, Franks as they are called, and they are mostly Cath 
 olics. Indeed, we Protestants are a feeble band, in the 
 midst of Greeks, Catholics, Jews, Turks, Armenians, and 
 people from every part of the earth. Turbaned heads 
 look quite familiar. I have ceased to wonder at any thing, 
 excepting the other day when a carriage passed, I did 
 wonder. It was a great sight. I should love to describ" 
 minutely every thing, but that would be impossible. 
 
 The latter part of December, we came to our house, 
 situated finely on the sea-side, with a garden and place for 
 bathing, and our winter has passed delightfully. Still we 
 have felt quite unsettled, for it has been decided that 
 Smyrna is not to be our home, but that \ve are to remove 
 to Constantinople. It is a trial to leave this dear place, 
 which seems indeed like home to me, and which is full of 
 so many delightful associations as the home of my dear 
 H. ; and it is a great trial also to leave these precious friends. 
 But the station we are called to fill at C., is a most inter 
 esting and important one, and we go cheerfully, trusting 
 that God will prosper us, and give us strength to do much 
 for him. 
 
 23 
 
266 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 The steamers bring every place very near, and we have 
 constant communication with Marseilles, Trieste, Greece, 
 Constantinople, and in fact every place around. We are 
 in the midst of the busy world, in the central point be 
 tween Europe and Asia, so that our minds are kept wide 
 awake. I have so many things to say concerning all sub 
 jects, dear M., that I scarcely know how to give you a cor 
 rect idea of any thing. I believe it is a general fact, that 
 the Orientals are regarded by us Americans as semi-barba 
 rians, or at best as grown up children. Nothing is more 
 erroneous. The more we associate with them, the more 
 we feel that they are entitled to respect and friendship, as 
 much so as any polite, agreeable people in our own land, 
 who are without true religion. With them we must ob 
 serve the same strict rules of propriety, the same careful 
 attention to win them to the truth without disgusting them. 
 They have the same hopes, fears, affections that we have, 
 but their views of religious truth are dark and cheerless. 
 To pray long prayers, and to observe strictly the fasts, are 
 the great things with them. They know no higher motive 
 from which to act, than self interest, and consequently are 
 not guided by principle. 
 
 What the missionary has to do on first coming out, is to 
 hire a house, engage a teacher of the language he wishes 
 to learn, and strive as fast as possible to become acquainted 
 with oriental habits and modes of thinking. By degrees 
 he gets introduced to one and another, as any person in 
 coming into a new place does. He interests those whom 
 he designs to benefit, in various ways, and gradually leads 
 them to converse upon serious subjects. It has been found 
 productive of much evil to attack their religions directly. 
 You must strive to win their confidence, and have familiar 
 talks upon religious subjects with them. In this way you 
 can gradually pour light into their minds, set them to in- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 267 
 
 quiring, and sow some seeds of truth, which by God s 
 blessing may spring up and bear fruit. Patience and per 
 severance are exceedingly needed by a missionary. You 
 will perhaps be surprized when I tell you, that the greatest 
 trial of a missionary, is the effect upon his own spirit, of 
 mingling with such a mass of worldliness. Especially is 
 this the case here, where there are so many things to inter 
 est, and where there are not the helps to a Christian course 
 which are found in a land of Bibles and Sabbaths. Another 
 great trial is to see so many whose minds are full of error, 
 and to know that you can do comparatively little to remove 
 it. Oh, how often my heart has ached, when I have looked 
 upon the crowds that throng these streets, and know 
 that there is scarce one among them all, who knows any 
 thing about true religion. It is sad to look at their crowded 
 burial places, beneath the cypress trees, and think how 
 dark their end has been. These are a missionary s trials 
 here ; but personal trials are very few. Many are the com 
 forts and pleasant things about this life in the East. Those 
 who come out here as strangers, always have letters to in 
 troduce them to some one, and in every place there is some 
 resident, who can and will assist those who come, to some 
 extent." 
 
 " Feb. 24th. In reading over the preceding lines, I think 
 I may give you the impression that there are no trials here, 
 about our way of living. Of course this cannot be said. 
 But I find things so much pleasanter than I expected, that 
 I am delighted with the East. I came determined to be 
 pleased, and I find it a very easy matter. 
 
 And now to return to your questions, you see that I have 
 had my mind upon them in all that I have been saying, but 
 it is impossible in one letter to answer them all minutely. 
 I have tried to tell you something of our life here, because 
 I think, in general, persons in America look upon the East 
 
268 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 erroneously. There are many discomforts in the interior 
 of the country, but in the Smyrna mission, the privations 
 are not worth the thought. In a future letter, dear M., 
 I can tell you minutely about the habits here ; some of 
 them would, I am sure, please you very much. I feel as 
 if I were reading an interesting book all the time. As to 
 language, almost every one on the earth is heard in our 
 streets. Our family friends all speak French among them 
 selves, but unfortunately for my improvement in French, 
 they nearly all speak English too. Greek is the language 
 of the servants, and I begin to pick up a few of the com 
 mon words, and I make use of signs in a most amusing 
 manner. We shall commence Armenian immediately, for 
 our residence in C. and our work there require a knowl 
 edge of it. 
 
 We all dress in the European style. The Frank dress 
 is also adopted by many of the Greeks and Armenians. 
 But many Frank ladies, when they grow old, put on the 
 Greek dress, Mrs. V. L., my Smyrna mother, dresses in 
 Greek style. 
 
 As to scenery, I wish you could have one view of what 
 I look upon every day from our terrace. The beautiful gulf, 
 the mountains around it, so picturesque, and often bathed 
 in the violet light which is the charm of these countries, 
 the curious old dwellings, the dark cypresses, the Castle 
 hill rising behind the city, so very high it seems to reach 
 the sky, and the gray ruins upon its summit, which have 
 frowned down upon the city ever since the days of our 
 Saviour all these, and many more things I might mention, 
 awaken deep emotions each day as I gaze upon them. 
 Here Polycarp the martyr died ; here the early Christians 
 lived. It would have been sweet, dear M., to have spent 
 our lives in laboring here, bul it is thought we can accom 
 plish more good at Constantinople, and so we are going. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 269 
 
 The Franks here are mostly Catholics, but all our near 
 relatives are Protestants. At the Consul s there is a chapel 
 fitted up for the use of the Dutch residents, (you know our 
 family are Dutch,) and a service in French is performed 
 there every Sabbath morning. The church is Lutheran, 
 something like the Episcopal, though not much. All of 
 the young people are confirmed before entering society, 
 and partake of the sacrament. On Sabbath afternoon there 
 is an English service which the missionaries attend, and 
 they officiate in turn. Mamma and several of her family 
 go also ; and we have the happiness of sweet Christian 
 intercourse with her and four of our brothers. These young 
 men, now growing up, will exert a great influence here for 
 the truth. Every Sabbath evening they come to our house, 
 and with a young Greek, who is also pious, form a Bible 
 class, in which we unite. Our class is deeply interesting, 
 and I wish you could see the earnestness with which they 
 engage in the study of truth. They are lovely youth.* 
 It is a great trial to leave them, yet it is a comfort to 
 know that they are so well established in .their Christian 
 principles. 
 
 Our mission among the Armenians increases in interest. 
 Dr. A. and father, who have just returned from visiting the 
 various stations, say that l the half was not told them. 
 God is doing a great work for them. The whole nation 
 are waking up. Many of their priests are sincere inquirers 
 after truth. There is to be a family female school in 
 Constantinople, where young girls are to be trained in 
 the paths of holiness and knowledge. Think, dear M., 
 what an interesting field, to train the future wives and 
 mothers of the Armenian nation. It is for this that we 
 go to Constantinople. H. will be engaged in preaching, 
 
 * One of these four young brothers has since died in the comforts and hope of 
 the Christiah faith. Sept. 17. 1&45. 
 
 23* 
 
270 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and I shall have the general charge of the housekeep 
 ing, and watch over the forming character of the pupils, 
 while a competent teacher is to be obtained to do the regular 
 teaching. What is needed is to have the young girls in 
 the bosom of a Christian family, that they may learn how 
 to make their own homes Christian afterwards. Pra} for 
 us, that in this deeply interesting work we may be faithful, 
 and have strength to succeed. We shall leave here per 
 haps in May, and if our lives shall be spared, I hope I shall 
 have much of interest to tell you. 
 
 I think, dear M., I have in the main answered all your 
 questions. I could tell you much more of the state of re 
 ligion here, but my paper is fast filling up. You know 
 that the Armenian nation are rapidly awaking to the 
 knowledge of the truth. If things go on as they have 
 done, there will soon be pastors settled over pure churches 
 among them. The evangelical party is daily increasing in 
 numbers and in strength ; and there is every encouragement 
 to work among them, for the Spirit of God is in their midst. 
 
 Our dear f^ner s visit we do enjoy, but to-morrow our 
 pilgrims set ttycir faces towards Jerusalem, and this evening 
 we are to have a farewell meeting at our house. We have 
 had most delightful little meetings during the past week. 
 Last Sabbath evening we met and partook of the Lord s 
 supper together It was in Mr. Temple s parlor, and we 
 were a little company, but it was sweet to think that 
 Christ was prjesent even with a few. Two Armenians 
 and a Greek, partook of the communion with us, also mamma 
 and our four ^-youngest brothers, and several Christian 
 friends. But that company will never all meet again. 
 To-morrow- seven will start for Jerusalem, and before they 
 return we m-tiy have left for C., and Mr. and Mrs. T. will 
 also have gone. Thus we form friendships, and meet in 
 sweet intercourse for a season, and then partings must 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 271 
 
 come, and new scenes open to us. But it is pleasant to 
 think that we are all engaged in the same work, all going 
 to the same home. May we all meet in that blessed home 
 at last. Pray for me, my dear M., that I may shrink from 
 no trials in this good cause, and that I may not fail of the 
 heavenly rest." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 "March 2d. It has been very pleasant to have dear 
 father with us two Sabbaths. He has been not only a 
 comfort in warming and encouraging our hearts in good 
 things, but his advice has been of great use in regard to 
 our removal. Our last Sabbath was very refreshing. It 
 was our communion, and H. and I hoped we might be so 
 much strengthened by it as to enter upon our new duties 
 with increasing ardor. 
 
 On Tuesday evening there was a farewell meeting of the 
 missionaries at our house. N. enlarged and arranged our 
 dining room table, and set dates, oranges, cakes, &c., with 
 tea and coffee for a collation afterwards. Our meeting was 
 most sweet and soothing. I felt then what an honor and 
 a blessing to be a missionary. Dr. A. made his farewell 
 remarks, and dear father made his, and we sang, and wept, 
 and prayed together, and rejoiced, too. that though we 
 were to be separated in body, yet we were all united in 
 spirit, and were engaged in the same cause. Dear father 
 felt so much at home, that he said, laughingly, as he took 
 his seat at our table, that he did it as if he were at his own 
 house. And indeed he was at home, for he was in our 
 house, and we are his children. I was beginning to feel 
 very sad about father s leaving, for the party were soon to 
 go to Jerusalem. 
 
 Thursday was a beautiful day. The company of trav 
 elers were to be on board the boat by three o clock. After 
 
272 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 dinner we stood talking on the terrace some time, saying 
 last* words. Then the boat came and took us to the 
 steamer, and dear father was off at four. He will proba 
 bly come back and pass quarantine here." 
 
 " Sedecui, Monday afternoon, March 4M. Yes, dear 
 mamma, I have come to this charming place, at last, to 
 spend the week. This morning we rose early and went in 
 a boat to the opposite side of the city, beyond the barracks, 
 where we found the horses and donkeys waiting for us. 
 The donkey driver, Yorca, said he meant to make a good 
 rider of me, but I confess I had some fear of mounting 
 even the meek little fellow, sure footed and good, which 
 was allotted me. Y. walked by my side, and I gathered 
 courage as I went. The country is beautiful, so wild are 
 the mountains, so lovely are the plains. There is a pic 
 turesque air over every thing. We passed many loaded 
 camels. Sometimes we were riding along green hedges, 
 sometimes on the edge of high hills and looking off on 
 plains, over which olives and cypresses and vineyards are 
 scattered. The grass is as green, and the flowers as bloom 
 ing and fresh, and the sun as warm, as in New England 
 in the month of May. The people are ploughing and plant 
 ing, and arranging the vineyards. We reached Sedecui 
 about twelve o clock. 
 
 We rested and then went at two o clock to walk among 
 the mountains. I wish you could have seen our brothers. 
 I laughed till I was tired at their curious hunting gear. 
 The very gipseys themselves could not have looked more 
 romantic, and then their hands and faces quite belied the 
 rest of their appearance. I cannot tell you as fully about 
 Sedecui as I wish, but it is very beautiful. The houses 
 are all near each other, with very pleasant large gardens 
 all around." 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNE?. 273 
 
 " March 6th. This morning H. took me into the large 
 old house and garden where he and his brothers played 
 when they were children O, mamma, it is a place to 
 dream of the past in. The old trees, now covered with ivy, 
 could tell many a tale of those who have played beneath 
 their shade, and grown old and passed away. We passed 
 along the walks and talked of other days, and thought of 
 the generations who have lived in these spots. Every 
 thing was moss-grown and ivy-covered. 
 
 " Thursday. This afternoon we all started for the same 
 little valley where we had been on Monday, and leaving 
 most of our party there, E. D. and myself went higher up 
 among the mountains, to see the cascade. A little, stony, 
 mountain path, wound along the steep sides, so narrow 
 that only one could pass at a time. The view- was most 
 glorious. As we proceeded we became encircled by the 
 rising peaks. A deep valley, through which gurgled a 
 stream, separated us from the lofty ridge which rose oppo 
 site to the one on which we were passing, and there, all 
 alone, we woke themftountain echoes, and heard our voices 
 dying away among those otherwise silent, wilds. I thought 
 of the lines, 
 
 " Faint as the echoes of far delight, 
 And lovely and sad as the sighing flight 
 Of distant waterfalls." 
 
 " \\th. We made a long string of horses and donkeys 
 on our return to the city, being nine in number. We took 
 a boat waiting for us beyond the barracks, and reached 
 home by dinner-time on Saturday the 9th." 
 
 " 22d. A few days since we visited Mrs. Temple s school. 
 I was much interested. She feels very sadly about giving 
 
274 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 it up. Poor children! They will now be left without 
 any guide ; but the seed will not be lost. Yesterday after 
 noon visited Mrs. T. in their own house. She had given 
 up her school on Monday, and her heart is almost broken. 
 The pupils all wept much. May God keep them. I spent 
 the morning of yesterday in thought about my missionary 
 work ; read Eli Smith s Trials of Missionaries, and think 
 it very correct. Dear mother, I could not be any thing else 
 but a missionary. I do feel it to be a privilege to cast in 
 my mite of influence in evangelizing Turkey." 
 
 TO J. P. BRACE, ESQ., 
 
 FOR MANY YEARS THE BELOVED AND RESPECTED TEACHER OF MARY. 
 
 SMYRNA, March, 22d, 1844. 
 
 My dear Mr. Brace, I was exceedingly pained upon 
 arriving in Boston, previous to our sailing, to learn from M. 
 that you had never received the note I had sent you on the 
 day of our marriage. You were saved the trouble of read 
 ing it, but I should have been willing to have intruded it 
 upon you, for it would have told you that I had not been 
 unmindful of the interest you had slaown in my welfare, 
 and that I cherished for my former teacher sentiments of 
 love and gratitude which no time nor distance could efface. 
 I am very sorry it was never delivered to you. 
 
 The morning I wrote to you, my thoughts were back in 
 the past, as indeed it was very natural they should be. I 
 recollected all my school days, and especially remembered 
 how you, my dear teacher, had borne with me during all 
 the years when it was my privilege to be under your in 
 struction. I had long wished for an opportunity to tell 
 you how much I thanked you for the interest you showed 
 in checking the ambition of my character. You called it 
 by too soft a name when you said it was ambition. I have 
 since found it was vanity, and if I have succeeded at all in 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 275 
 
 overcoming it, it is to you I turn as the friend who first 
 opened my eyes to this defect. How often in my heart I 
 have thanked you ! And not only for this, but for all the 
 lessons of wisdom which I have treasured in my mind, and 
 for which I find daily use. Those pleasant, hours in the 
 composition class, I love to remember. I have them as 
 vividly before me, as if it were only yesterday that I saw 
 you seated by the side of that crazy old table, with the 
 results of our school girl brains upon it, and H., M., M. 
 and S., sitting with me in our accustomed corner. Though 
 I can recall them with a vividness almost startling, yet 
 they seem far, very far in the past, and I am obliged to 
 think over all that has intervened, to realize that I, who 
 am now writing you beneath this glorious Eastern sky, 
 and surrounded by objects widely at variance with those 
 in America, am the same being who formerly took my daily 
 seat in the composition room of the Hartford Female Sem 
 inary. Sagely as we girls wrote then upon the vanity of 
 human life, and the transitoriness of all earthly things, I 
 am sure we should write more from the heart now. Yet 
 there is one thing in which I think our band has not suf 
 fered by the lapse of time. We have indeed been sepa 
 rated widely, and have formed other ties, but I do believe 
 we love each other more warmly and truly than we did 
 when our friendship was commenced as school girls. I 
 had a few weeks since a long and beautiful letter from 
 Marion, and she is the same warm-hearted being as ever. 
 I need not tell you that it is a great comfort to have one of 
 my school companions so near me as Isabella Bliss is. 
 We often send little notes back and forth between Trebi- 
 zond and Smyrna, and we shall be nearer each other when 
 we remove to Constantinople. You probably will have 
 heard before this reaches you, that we remove to Constan 
 tinople to take the oversight of a family school for Arme- 
 
276 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 nian females. The regular instruction will be given by a 
 competent teacher obtained for that purpose. What is 
 desired in our taking the charge of the school is, that a 
 Christian home influence should be exerted over those who 
 will be in a process of education. I shall have the general 
 care of the housekeeping, but as our family will be small, 
 this will not be much. Henry will be occupied in preach 
 ing, and in active labors among the Armenians, and our 
 situation will, of course, open the way for a more extended 
 enlightening of the females. The Armenian gentlemen 
 feel that a thorough reformation cannot take place in their 
 nation, until those who will be the wives and mothers, 
 shall come under Christian influence. And they take a 
 deep interest in this enterprise. It is a deeply interesting, 
 as well as a deeply important undertaking, and I fear 1 
 have not the suitable qualifications. But we go trusting in 
 God that he will direct our steps and give us all the wisdom 
 we need. When I see around me the sad want of principle 
 which exists, the darkness which shrouds the minds of this 
 people, over which no star of hope shines, the missionary 
 work assumes an interest and importance which it never 
 wore to me in America. These are beautiful countries. 
 There is very much to interest one who loves the past, and 
 who is engaged in the study of human nature, under its 
 various phases. There are constant subjects of excitement, 
 and indeed in these central points of the world, we have 
 all our faculties and all our feelings called into exercise. 1 
 have said often that I seem to be reading a story book, I 
 had almost said a novel, since I have been here, and yet 
 while I am deeply interested, I can look upon these things, 
 and move among these scenes with far more calmness than 
 when in other days I used to dream of the far off East, 
 with its old ruins, its cypress and orange groves, and the 
 turbaned beings who dwelt among them. To be sur- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 277 
 
 rounded by followers of the false prophet, who believe as 
 firmly in the inspiration of the Koran, as we do in that of 
 the Bible, and to know some of the opinions which they 
 delight in, makes what has before only existed to me in my 
 mind, seem like a strange reality. But we, as Franks, feel 
 more sensibly Catholic influence than we do Mohammedan. 
 We are surrounded by Catholics, and are daily brought 
 into contact with their errors, in some form or other. To 
 day our cook tried in vain to obtain some meat, it being 
 Friday, and more than all, Lent. 
 
 Ought I, my dear teacher, to make an apology for in 
 truding so long upon your time ? I could not help writing 
 to you, and so I have followed my inclinations. If you 
 ever have a moment that you could spend in sending your 
 old pupil a word of remembrance, I need not tell you how 
 overjoyed I should be to receive a letter from you. 
 With much affection and respect, 
 
 I remain your sincerely attached pupil, 
 
 MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " March 3CUA. It is a beautiful day, but necessary family 
 engagements have prevented us from taking our walk, as 
 we do each day, for exercise : and as a substitute, I have 
 been walking for a little time in the garden. How much 
 we shall miss this lovely little garden. It supplies us with 
 fresh flowers every day ; and when I am binding together 
 beautiful wall flowers, which are in great profusion, with 
 roses, sweet-scented violets, an orange flower or two by 
 way of variety, geranium leaves and lavender, I think, Oh, 
 how mamma would prize such a boquet! And I wish I 
 had you to arrange my vase for me. I have a little mig 
 nonette, and it touchingly reminds me of my home in 
 
 Hartford." 
 
 24 
 
278 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 * l April 4th. Yesterday, had a letter from dear father. 
 He was in Beiroot, but was to start on Monday, 25th of 
 March, in company with Mr. Smith and Dr. A., for Jeru 
 salem. The rest of their company had left the day that 
 he wrote, to spend the Sabbath in Sidon, and tarry for them 
 in Tyre, where they expected to reach them on Tuesday 
 night, the 26th. It really seems like old Bible times. 
 Father had been up Mount Lebanon, and said it was infi 
 nitely the worst road he ever traveled. In America, it 
 would not be thought possible for a goat to go where their 
 horses carried them. 
 
 We have every reason to rejoice in our contemplated 
 removal to Constantinople. It is a most interesting field, 
 in the midst of most interesting scenes. As regards my 
 health, it is thought that it will be more favorable to my 
 New England constitution ; at least, Dr. A. and father 
 think so ; for though I am in much better health now than 
 I ever was in America, yet the summers might be trying, 
 and in Constantinople it is much cooler than here. Then 
 the work will be very useful, and also pleasant, and I hope 
 it will not be too much for my strength. I do believe it is 
 the place for us. God seems plainly to indicate that it is 
 to be our work. H. is busy with his Armenian. Oh, if it 
 were not for the language, I do believe all my fears would 
 go now." 
 
 " Thursday evening. This is the great week in Smyrna. 
 Passion-week is devoted to being very religious. To-day 
 the yards of the Catholic vessels are all crossed, and flags 
 at half-mast ; no music from the frigate, and to-morrow 
 will be the same. Every body is preparing for Easter, 
 making Easter cakes, &c. The custom is, to have partic 
 ular cakes for each great occasion. Eggs stained red are 
 also used. They are cooked, and then the play is to break 
 
MRS. MAR\ E. VAN LENNEP. 279 
 
 them. Each one takes an egg at dinner, during the Easter 
 holy-days, and tries its strength by knocking 1 it against an 
 other egg. The streets are full of flocks of lambs, (for 
 every family must have a lamb at Easter) and the bakeries 
 are full of cakes, and ev^ry body busy with preparations 
 for the festivities. But do not think they have commenced 
 now. O, no, this is the solemn passion-week, when the 
 world is to be given up and forgotten. To-morrow is the 
 great fast. On Sunday, Lent is over, and then the people 
 give themselves up to rejoicings." 
 
 " Saturday, April 6th. This morning, at 1 1 o clock, the 
 flags of the Consuls, and of the vessels which have been 
 at half-mast, were raised, and the yards which have been 
 crossed were squared, and music again burst forth from the 
 frigate : while the bells, which have been silent for a day 
 or two. commenced a merry ringing. The Greeks and 
 Catholics are wild with frolic ; pistols are fired all Easter. 
 It is sad to see the death and resurrection of our Saviour, 
 observed in such a way as to call up feelings any thing 
 but Christian. 
 
 Last Monday, I went with mamma and a few ladies, to 
 see a Turkish school. The Hodja (teacher) is a female 
 of unusual enterprise, for a Turkish female. Fatemah 
 took us through the bazaars to Turk Town, which is built 
 on the highest part of the city, rising to the castle. The 
 view is very fine. It overlooks the city, the harbor, the 
 mountains, and the house must be very cool in summer. 
 The streets are painfully steep in some places. We passed 
 through the part burned by the great fire, and saw many 
 remains of its devastation : cypress trees blackened and 
 dead, old walls smoked ; but what interested me most was, 
 the old stone posts, which mark the gateway of the 
 ancient entrance to the city. We passed the Jewish 
 
280 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 houses, and it being their passover week, they were very 
 busy in making their preparations. The Jews here are 
 most of them poor, and the fear in which the} continually 
 live, strikingly verifies prophecy. They are almost afraid 
 of their own shadows. They <?are not be out after seven 
 in the evening, and a child can alarm them. When we 
 came to the house of Fatemah, we saw the bench where 
 the children sat, and the bag hung up on the wall, where 
 their books in manuscript are kept. She teaches them to 
 read and write. I was much amused at her device to keep 
 the books from being torn. She sews the pages together, 
 and when one page is learned, she turns the leaf over, and 
 sews the remainder together. Fatemah sat nuts, &c., 
 before us, and then took us round to see some Turkish 
 houses. The last one we entered was quite pleasant. A 
 fountain was playing in the centre of the receiving room, 
 and black slaves were holding the children. The lady 
 was pretty, and looked good-natured, but Oh, so vacant 
 their minds all seem. We saw the ladies of an adjoining 
 harem peeping at us, and they sent to have us come in and 
 see them, but it was too late. The Turkish ladies are very 
 glad to see Frank ladies. Fatemah not only teaches 
 school, but she teaches young women to sew, and she 
 passes for quite learned among the Turkish ladies. There 
 are a few female Hodjas, and on the days when the men 
 frequent the mosques, the ladies go to the Hodjas, to hear 
 the Koran read." 
 
 " Wednesday, April \7th. I know, dear mother, that 
 your heart was near to mine yesterday, and that you were 
 praying that my new year might be blessed by God s pres 
 ence. Last year when my birth-day came, I was in the 
 home of my childhood. What changes a year has brought 
 No other year can ever be so full of changes, or so impor- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 281 
 
 tant to me, as this last one. My change of country, and 
 all the circumstances connected with it, were then in the 
 dreamy future, and no effort of mine could make them seem 
 real. Now I look upon all these as natural and true oc 
 currences. How much God has blessed me. Dear mother, 
 let us thank Him for all his undeserved favors. 
 
 On Thursday evening, the prayer meeting was at our 
 house, because every thing was in confusion at Mr. Tem 
 ple s. They were arranging to leave. I thought much of 
 you that evening, and longed that you should see us thus 
 seated in our large parlor, well lighted. H. at the table, 
 with the Bible ; mamma, our brothers, and dear L., with 
 the two Armenians, the Greek youth who comes to our 
 Bible class, and Mr. and Mrs. Temple, around in the room. 
 We had a lovely meeting. H. explained the 103d Psalm 
 very sweetly, and I could not help weeping. 
 
 On Friday we made a pleasant excursion to Castle Hill. 
 We took dinner at mamma s, and then went to the place 
 appointed, and found quite a party there. We had a 
 Cavass, a soldier of the Belgian Consul, with us. H. 
 thought it unnecessary, but Mr. D., who remembered what 
 times used to be there, thought best to take one. People 
 sometimes lurked among the ruins for evil deeds. We 
 went in a boat to the end of the city, in a southerly direc 
 tion, and landing at the barracks, ascended through the 
 Jewish burying ground. The tombs, built in the side of 
 the hill and rising like steps, with Hebrew characters upon 
 them, appeared very curious. It is a long, steep way to 
 the Castle wall. I was deeply interested in walking 
 among so many marks of other days. Our thoughts went 
 back to the time when the early Christians suffered for the 
 truth on those very places where our feet were pressing. 
 The Christian church is no longer standing, the stones 
 having been taken to build the Turkish barracks ; but H. 
 
 24 
 
282 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEF. 
 
 well remembers going once with his father and brother to 
 the hill, when R. took a view of the church. We stood 
 for some time gazing at the immense area of what was 
 once the Circus. There were distinctly visible the tiers of 
 seats in the sides of the hill, capable of seating ten thou 
 sand, if not more. Of course, the seats themselves have 
 been removed, but the marks of them remain. In that cir 
 cus, Polycarp was martyred ; but grass grows now in the 
 arena, and there is little to remind us of the scenes once 
 acted there. The castle itself is an interesting place. But 
 it is not possible for me to tell you all the things which 
 make it so. It is massy and high, though very much 
 ruined. Only the thick walls are standing, and the tow 
 ers are all choked with rubbish. The view is magnificent, 
 and the associations with olden times, make that hill a 
 place where memory speaks even more than the eye sees." 
 
 " Wednesday, May 1st. During all last week we were 
 looking for our dear father, and still he did not come. We 
 wanted to go to Bournabat, to see our friends there: So, on 
 Thursday, our three young brothers came and went with 
 us. We proceeded in a boat half way, and then took the 
 road through green hedges, and open fields, amidst the 
 twining vines and olives, to the village ; the glorious moun 
 tains every where bounding the horizon. Making a sun 
 shine in a shady place, aptly expresses the way our hedged 
 road looked. Every little while the boys would strike up 
 some beautiful air, half gay, half solemn, and thus we 
 wound along. It is three miles from the water to the vil 
 lage, and though there were donkeys at the landing, I pre 
 ferred walking, and was not fatigued. We rested half 
 way, beneath a sycamore tree, and saw from where we sat, 
 patches of snow on Tactalee, the highest mountain seen 
 from Smyrna, which is bleak, even in summer. Ice is 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 283 
 
 brought from there to the city. The boys plucked l hollow 
 reeds, and made rural pipes, not pens, and greatly amused 
 us by piping the rest of the way to Bournabat. Mr. 
 Riggs house is delightful old ivy grown trees ; a basin 
 of water, in which gold and silver fish are swimming ; and 
 the children play around like birds, free, simple and joyous. 
 I am sorry they must leave, to come to the city, even 
 though ours is so pleasant a house. The storks have 
 made their nests on the roof of their house, and the swal 
 lows build in the hall. We went over to Miss D. s school, 
 and were delighted with the house and grounds. Such a 
 profusion of roses I have never seen before. We started 
 at four, on our return. Could you only see the prospect 
 which I then enjoyed the glorious waters, sparkling 
 beneath a bright sky, the mountains and green plains, all 
 bathed in sunshine ! The boys sang a mournful and 
 wild air, which sounded strangely sweet, in the midst of 
 so much joyous beauty. The wind was fresh, and our 
 little boat rocked and dashed on, scattering the salt sea 
 foam over us. 
 
 The Stamboul had been detained in quarantine, having 
 lost a man overboard, and H. sent to see if the little box for 
 us had come on shore. With what joy did we hail E., 
 who came bringing it to us. I could have gazed a long 
 time at every mark on the outside, but H. hastened to open 
 it. and then I did not want to move the papers and cotton, 
 they looked so like you. But my curiosity soon triumphed, 
 and then the letters and articles were all greeted, and 
 talked over and examined. Thank all my dear friends, 
 and the little girls particularly, for writing. I shall answer 
 them all as soon as I can. O, how good and kind you are. 
 Dear, dear mother, can I ever repay your kindness ? How 
 near that little box makes us all. 
 
 In the evening was our prayer-meeting. It was held at 
 
284 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 our house, and Mr. K. presided. On Friday, dear father 
 
 " Smyrna, May 4th. To-morrow H. will go down to the 
 Lazaretto to bring dear father. I hope I may find time to 
 go to Sedecui with him, but we must pack all our things. 
 I feel sad to be so busy the last days in which my dear 
 father is here." 
 
 "Smyrna, May 9th. O, my precious mother, I shall 
 indeed be separated from you all when to-morrow evening 
 comes. May God keep this dear parent and restore him 
 safely to you ; and will not you write me always just as 
 particularly as you can, so that I may feel close to you ? 
 Dear mother, think of me as ever with you. Do not call 
 me afar off, for I am with you, and H. is with you more 
 closely than ever, by affection, and by spiritual intercourse. 
 
 Yesterday we went to Sedecui. The family were anx 
 ious that dear father should see that charming place : so we 
 made time and went. We had a lovely ride, and enjoyed it 
 very much. 
 
 Dear father s visit in these lands will long be remembered 
 with interest and pleasure. I know he has done good by 
 coming here. We thank God for it. O, my dear mother, 
 when you read this, dear father will be again with you ; 
 and you will rejoice and bless God, and so will I, and so 
 will H. Our prayers and our hearts best wishes follow 
 that dear parent : and we, dear mother, will work here in 
 these lands, and you will pray for us. And shall we not 
 all meet in heaven ?" 
 
 FROM MR. V. L. 
 
 "Smyrna, May IQth. We have been enjoying our 
 father s society here exceedingly. Last evening at our 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 285 
 
 little conference meeting he took charge of the exercises, 
 and I have hardly ever enjoyed any words of his as much 
 as I did his remarks on the text, I shall be satisfied when 
 I wake up in Thy likeness. He spoke of the satisfaction 
 of the soul in heaven, in such glowing language, and with 
 so elevated a spirit, that his countenance seemed to put on 
 a brighter hue ; and I thought I should not want a better 
 swan s song, not merely for parting with loved ones, but 
 for death itself. I do not know how either Mary or he will 
 bear the hour of separation. I only pray God to strengthen 
 them both. A good many tears have already been shed on 
 both sides. I trust that God will give them resignation 
 and fortitude. But we ought surely to comfort ourselves 
 by remembering, that what is our loss is your gain, and 
 also that of many who love him. 
 
 This visit has proved exceedingly beneficial here, as 
 also I trust it has in all the places he has visited. I look 
 forward with great expectation to its bearing on the cause 
 of Christ in America." 
 
 TO MRS. C. 
 
 SMYRNA^ May 10th, 1844. 
 
 "I almost hesitate attempting to write you a note, my 
 dear Mrs. C., it must be written so hastily ; but I do not 
 like to permit my dear father to leave without carrying a 
 few notes to my friends in Hartford, and so I have taken 
 my pen to address the beloved parent of my dear Sabbath 
 school teacher. I have found the little books you so 
 kindly sent me to the boat, when I left, a great comfort. I 
 love to look over especially the hymns that are marked, 
 some of which I learnt when I was in the class. 
 
 Our dear father leaves to-day. I regard it as a great 
 mercy that he has come to this land ; he has made pasto 
 ral visits to all the stations here, and his prayers and sweet 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 counsel in our own family can never be forgotten. I would 
 not detain him here, though it is great bitterness to part ; he 
 will go home to the dear people, and our hearts follow 
 him, and our prayers go up to God for him, that he may be 
 carried home in peace. 
 
 In our meeting last evening, dear father made remarks 
 on the hopes which the Christian has, on the satisfaction 
 which he will feel in the other world. While we were 
 meditating upon these blessed truths, it made the separa 
 tions of this life seem very little indeed. If our Heavenly 
 Father will only be near us, and give us his gracious pres 
 ence, we can pass through the trials of this world. 
 
 I am more and more glad that I am here in this land, 
 and that I may join my poor feeble efforts to those of others 
 in spreading the light of truth here. 
 
 The missionary work, I have said often, increases in im 
 portance when these dark lands are seen. We do not 
 fully appreciate the blessings of the Gospel, till we see the 
 misery that exists where error and superstition reign. 
 
 You have no doubt heard of our expected removal to 
 Constantinople. My dear father can tell you the reasons 
 for this more at length than I can write them. We go 
 cheerfully, for it seems to be the indication of Providence. 
 
 I have written two notes to Miss A. W. It is a great 
 pleasure to be able to communicate with these dear friends 
 on paper, it brings them nearer than I supposed it would, 
 and indeed I do not feel very far off We are united by 
 stronger ties than time and distance can break. I often 
 think of the remark made by Henry Martyn, that time 
 and distance ought not to be much to the Christian. I 
 hope that you are able to see my dear mother often. She 
 writes me that her friends are very kind to her and Hart 
 ford people are dear kind people. H. and I carry with us a 
 grateful remembrance of their unwearied kindness to us, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 287 
 
 and our hope is, that God will give us strength to prove 
 ourselves not wholly unworthy of it. May we strive to do 
 here, as our dear friends at home would do, were they in 
 our places, and surrounded, as we are, by multitudes who 
 know not God. 
 
 My dear Mrs. C., when I remember the blessings of my 
 life, the dear friends whom God has given me as guides, 
 when I think of that dear teacher, now in heaven, who 
 pointed me to Christ, my heart is filled with gratitude, and 
 I try to become a blessing to others, as they have been 
 blessings to me. 
 
 H. unites with me in much love to yourself, and your 
 dear family, and believe me, 
 
 Very affectionately, your friend, M. E. V. L." 
 
 TO HER FATHER. 
 
 Friday Morning. 
 
 " My own precious Father, God will take care of you on 
 the great waters, and will bring you safely to your dear 
 home and people ; and we, shall we not pray for you and 
 send our hearts with you ; and does time or distance sepa 
 rate us? O no, my dear father, time and distance cannot 
 break the ties which bind our hearts together ; for we are 
 united by our Father in Heaven, and it is his love which 
 makes us one company, one family still. Do not think that 
 H. and I are afar off; it will not be true if you do. We 
 are close to you, and God up in heaven, who sees our 
 hearts, looks upon us as if we were not separated. O, my 
 dear father, it is good to be in his hands, to know no will 
 but his, to work just where he appoints, and just how he 
 appoints. We thank God that he has brought you here. 
 You will never know the good you have done, in this 
 world. It has been a sweet comfort to H. and me, and 
 every word of yours is treasured in our memory. I thank 
 you (thank is a poor word.) for every counsel you have ever 
 
288 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 given me; for every prayer you have prayed for me ; for all 
 the sermons I have heard you preach ; for all our pleasant 
 talks together. 
 
 Dear father, you will not be sorry that we are working 
 on missionary ground, when you get to heaven. How I 
 shall remember and live upon your last words at the meet 
 ing. It was a good meeting, and I wish we could keep 
 heaven every moment in our mind. And now go home to 
 dear mother, and comfort her heart, and train up dear E. to 
 be a missionary, and tell all my young friends that there 
 is a great and a blessed work to be done in this world, and 
 that they have but one life to do it in. O, beseech them to 
 be in earnest about doing good. I have never been half 
 earnest enough about it. 
 
 Our hearts go with you. Do not you believe it, dear 
 father? Why will you still think we are, after all, sepa 
 rated? What is a mass of water or a piece of earth? It 
 does not keep our hearts apart ; it may have power over the 
 body, but never any power over the spirit, May God help 
 us to believe this, and to live in the sweet hope of spending 
 our eternity around his throne. And now, dear father, I 
 embrace you and kiss away all your tears, and I am 
 
 Your own affectionate daughter." 
 
 FROM MR. V. L. 
 
 "Dearest Father: I cannot resist the temptation of writing 
 a few words which the lips refuse to express. I wish to 
 thank you for all the happiness your visit has occasioned 
 us, and for the good you have done us by your presence, 
 your words, your prayers, and your example. How pleasant 
 will be the thought of it when we are separated, perhaps 
 to meet no more on the earth But God will make us 
 meet again. Or if he does not, it will surely be in love, 
 and why should we repine ? 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LEXXEP. 289 
 
 You have seen your Mary s new home, you have lived 
 a short time amid the scenes which will probably surround 
 her till death. Will it not be a comfort to you ? And if 
 you must be separated from her on the earth, where would 
 you have her but in such a field, engaged in laboring for 
 a cause, by the side of which all human Occupations 
 dwindle into insignificance, a labor, a situation I would 
 not exchange for any on the earth. 
 
 You go with our best prayers, our best wishes for your 
 happiness. May God keep you safely on the waters and 
 on the land ; may he bring you to your beloved country 
 without accident, rejoicing in all the way he has led you; 
 may you reach home in peace, and meet with joy all your 
 dear ones ! Good-bye, dearest father ; think of us with 
 comfort and happiness, and know that we love you with 
 truest love. 
 
 Your devoted son 
 
 " SMYRNA, May 24fA. My dearest Mother, it is a great 
 while since I have said a word to you, and now I can only 
 come and tell you, that to-morrow we must again break 
 ties that we have formed, but I mean to try and be cheer 
 ful. I have told you nothing of the parting days with 
 dear father. I am glad that scene is over, and that soon 
 he will be with you. It was harder parting with him 
 here than it would have been in America- far more trying 
 for each of us. But I regard his visit as a great blessing. 
 and so we all do. We go and come, meet and part, live 
 together and then separate. Oh, what a strange world ! 
 
 I have picked flowers for you, dear mother, and you will 
 find them pressed in two little books. A bag, too, I have 
 knit for you. Please carry it for my sake." 
 
 25 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 RESIDENCE AT CONSTANTINOPLE. 
 FROM MR. V. I,. 
 
 " CONSTANTINOPLE, May 28th. 
 
 u OUR ride here from Smyrna, in the steamer, was as 
 pleasant as possible. The weather was beautiful, and the 
 sea exceedingly smooth. I rejoice that these things have 
 aided in giving Mary good first impressions of Constanti 
 nople. We enjoyed a rare sight in the channel of the 
 Dardanelles. As we were going up we saw several ves 
 sels anchored on both sides, waiting for a favorable wind. 
 The north wind had prevailed for forty days, and all that 
 can be done in such circumstances is, to anchor and wait 
 for the south wind. 
 
 Our steamer anchored before the castle of Asia, and 
 staid there four hours ; the captain doing us the favor of 
 waiting, so as to reach the cily by daylight. While at 
 anchor a very light breeze sprung up. In a moment every 
 sail was unfurled, and a dense forest of masts, whitened 
 with canvas, came sweeping by, in a channel about a mile 
 broad. The sight was magnificent, and altogether beyond 
 description. After all had gone by we started too, and 
 passing through the whole fleet, many of them within 
 speaking distance, we left the fastest sailers at the en 
 trance of the Marmora. 
 
 The evening was charming, the sea smooth as a mirror, 
 the moon pouring her mild rays upon the quiet waters, 
 and a bright star sparkling like a gem in the sky. One of 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 29 1 
 
 our Armenian friends said with truth, that it was not a night 
 for sleep. At half past three the next morning I was up 
 and on deck. The sea was smooth as glass, and the smoke 
 of our chimney remained where it was thrown out. The 
 faint light of dawn showed the minarets and domes of 
 Constantinople, whose outlines were engraved on the sky. 
 The captain ordered the wheel down, and the steamer 
 went round and round in a circle, until all the passengers 
 were up and dressed, and the rays of the sun had begun to 
 gild the highest buildings of Stamboul. I will not attempt 
 to describe to you the splendor of the scene as we entered. 
 Every eye on board was stretched, and every bench on 
 deck was lined with people standing as high as they could. 
 
 We have been received here with the utmost cordiality. 
 Mary and I have talked much together about our work 
 here, and every thing connected with our change of sta 
 tion ; and we both come fully determined to be as happy, 
 and to do as much good as is in our power. 
 
 We now need God s grace continually to sanctify and 
 to guide us, to imbue us with the spirit of the Gospel, and 
 to give us all the wisdom and the prudence we need. It 
 is a great comfort to me to think that so many dear friends 
 remember us in their prayers, and especially that we are 
 remembered at two altars, where we have knelt the 
 altars where our two mothers offer their petitions." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " Constantinople, June 2\st. Dear Mother, I closed my 
 last journal and sent by the Cameo, just the day before 
 father came from quarantine. On Sunday morning, May 
 5th, H. rose early, while I slept, and went off in a boat 
 from our garden wharf to get father. It was a lovely day. 
 I went and walked on the terrace to wait their coming. 
 That beautiful terrace! Then I ran down to the garden 
 
292 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 wharf and welcomed my dear father, and we walked hand 
 in hand along the court, trying not to think how soon we 
 should part. You know we had packed much of our fur 
 niture, but we had a few things in order. Then father 
 dressed* breakfasted, and we had prayers one of his 
 sweet prayers, and then he prepared to preach. His ser 
 mon was refreshing and deeply interesting, Behold I lay 
 in Zion, &c. I remember it now, and his looks and 
 tones distinctly. The people were very attentive. 
 
 On Monday we were all packing, and in some confusion. 
 Our friends called during the day, and in the evening came 
 the monthly concert. Tuesday morning I walked on the 
 terrace and committed our interests to God. The confu 
 sion increased hourly in our house, or rather I should say 
 the desertion. Our younger brothers were packing, and 
 N. and a Jew were doing the hard heavy work. In the 
 evening our brothers came and sang their beautiful songs, 
 while dear father sat by me on the sofa. Through every 
 scene of those days, was the consciousness of the coming 
 separation, and I could only pray for strength. 
 
 On Wednesday we went with dear father and Dr. A. to 
 Sedecui. The next day my heart grew sadder. Dear 
 mamma came to see what she could do. How much she 
 felt for father during those days. In the evening we had 
 our farewell meeting at Mr. A. s H. has told you about 
 that. The next day we gathered at dinner, and then H. 
 went with father to mamma s. While they were gone I 
 passed my time in writing to some of my young friends, for 
 I knew not how to support my thoughts. We all went in 
 a boat to the steamer. I cannot write about it. We staid 
 only a few moments in our poor deserted house, and then 
 we went down to mamma s. We watched the steamer 
 from the great parlor. I saw the same steamer the other 
 day. That steamer has seen father since I saw him. 
 
MRS. MARY Er VAN LENNEP. 293 
 
 On Wednesday, the 15th of May, we made an excursion 
 to the Tchiflick. It is a country full of romantic interest. 
 Wild animals abound there. Recently a panther eat up a 
 little Mytilene poney ; and there are robbers around, who 
 make bold attempts to steal the horses. Nature has done 
 every thing she could for the Tchiflick, and R. and C. are 
 doing all they can to make it a beautiful as well as a profit 
 able estate. I have written C. C. an account of it, which 
 you have doubtless seen, so I will not describe it here." 
 
 EXCURSION TO THE TCHIFLICK. 
 TO C. C. 
 
 SMYRNA, May 22d, 1 844. 
 
 " Wherever I go, my dear C e, whether alone or in 
 
 the midst of the friends I have found in these lands, I 
 have ever a presence that whispers of the dear friends 
 I have left. I carry you with me amid every scene of 
 interest through which I pass. I look with more than two 
 eyes, and feel with more than one heart, while the past 
 comes with my present, and I seem to be living two lives, 
 which are not two either. 
 
 I went last week to the Tchiflick, or landed estate owned 
 by R. and C., brothers of H., and I enjoyed so much I could 
 not but wish that all my friends were with me. As this 
 could not be, I concluded to make some little collections of 
 flowers, both for you and my dear mother ; and although 
 they will lose their fragrance and beauty, and give you but 
 little idea of their exquisite loveliness when I gathered 
 them, yet they will serve, perhaps, to give more distinctness 
 to your thoughts of my eastern home. We went to Sed- 
 ecui on the 13th, to rest, having become much worn, 
 both in body and mind, by packing for Constantinople, and 
 by parting with our precious father, who left us on the 
 
294 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 10th for Trieste. Sedecui is a lovely, quiet spot, and full, 
 painfully full of associations with the past. It is also a 
 place full of present interest and enjoyment. Beneath its 
 ivy-grown trees, and amid its old dwellings, other voices 
 have echoed, and those whose graves are now scattered in 
 different parts of Europe, once lived there, and called it 
 home ; and another generation, and still another, have 
 grown up in their places. The same story of youth, life 
 and death, is going on all over the world, and I could not 
 keep from my mind the coming years, when I looked upon 
 the buoyant group which now wake the merry laugh, or 
 breathe the tones of feeling in the social gatherings of 
 Sedecui ; and I thought how youth must ripen to manhood, 
 and manhood sink to decay, and all, all must pass away, 
 even as those who once peopled that quiet retreat, and 
 whose fading memory and antiquated pictures alone re 
 main. 
 
 It had been previously arranged that we should form a 
 party to the Tchiflick on Wednesday, and so between four 
 and five o clock we were up. and our donkeys and donkey 
 drivers were brought with the mules for our baggage. 
 Baggage does not mean trunks, but pack-saddles, beds, 
 bedding, &c. We took coffee and were on our way before 
 six o clock. But I must describe. Did you ever see a 
 donkey in America? I never did. But imagine a little 
 animal something like a mule, only with a meeker and 
 more silly face, so low in stature that when a tall person 
 like father rides him, the feet almost touch the ground. It 
 is a sight worthy the brush of Hogarth. I have had so 
 many donkey frolics that I have almost ceased laughing 
 at donkey parties. Gentlemen generally ride horses, but 
 at this season the horses are put to grass. Ladies look 
 tolerably well upon these animals, but a gentleman looks 
 strangely out of place. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 295 
 
 Our party consisted of H. and three of his brothers, all 
 in hunting dresses, some with guns, some with pistols, atid 
 all together making quite a picturesque appearance, par 
 ticularly as a hunting horn was slung over E. s shoulder. 
 C. alone bestrode a horse, and he rode behind to keep the 
 loiterers with the party. Our two cousins, Emily and 
 Helen, rode on country saddles. A Greek maid servant, in 
 the fashion of the country, rode beside them, and a Greek 
 donkey driver walked by their side. It is useless attempt 
 ing any such persuasion as influence other animals ; don 
 keys listen only to the voice and stick of their driver. L. 
 and I wore broad straw hats which served in place of par 
 asols, and which are convenient in riding. We all tip d, 
 tip d along, waking up the villagers with our merry horn, 
 and they came flocking to their gates, half dressed and 
 half asleep. 
 
 We do not meet houses scattered here and there as in 
 America, but ride along narrow paths, such as you would 
 call bye roads, with low trees or brushwood on either side, 
 and sometimes between hedges which are so high aboveHhe 
 road, and covered by creeping vines, that they half arch 
 over the way. There are, now and then, groves of olives, 
 and many detached trees, such as the almond, (like our 
 peach,) the willow, the pine, the plantanus, wild pear, &c., 
 and an endless variety of low shrubs and thorn trees ; but 
 you would miss, as I do, the tall thick forests of our land. 
 You would look in vain for a rail fence, or a little farm 
 house rising among the trees. If you saw any red roofs, 
 there would be a red tiled village with a mosque and cypress 
 trees clustering together. About an hour after starting we 
 reached a caffeney at the end of a miserable village 
 all in ruins, and dismounting, we sat upon the stones by 
 the well and took coffee. Then we entered upon a 
 long, long plain, at the other end of which, just at the 
 
Jsi96 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 base of the mountains, the little cottages of the Tchiflick 
 lie. We saw their red roofs for a long time before reach 
 ing them, as they stand upon ground somewhat derated. 
 Now and then a few black tents of the wandering Turko 
 mans appeared, far to the right and left of our road, and 
 camels which they had turned out to graze, would lift their 
 strange faces occasionally as we passed. The Tchiflick 
 is the great hobby of our family, for besides being full of 
 the most majestic scenery, it is a farm in which American 
 and European improvements in agriculture are being made. 
 Every improvement is so intimately connected with the 
 missionary enterprise, that the Tchiflick cannot but interest 
 the friends of missions. Already the American plough 
 is introduced, and they hope before long to establish a 
 carriage road between Sedecui and the Tchiflick. It is a 
 large estate, being six miles one way and three the other, 
 and it is a most charming spot. There is an immense 
 garden of fruit trees and vegetables ; and the forest trees 
 there are larger than any where else. Indeed, among those 
 beautiful mountain trees which shaded the gorge, I did not 
 feel the want of the trees of America. But it is of our 
 excursion to the great gorge I wish to speak. On Thurs 
 day, very early, while the mists were rolling up the sides 
 of the mountains, we were winding along a narrow path, 
 at the entrance of the wildest scenery I ever looked upon. 
 Never can I forget that day ; it was such a one as Bur- 
 leigh pictures in his June. It was a day and a place for 
 luxuriating in thought, and I rode slowly along those 
 scenes, generally behind the others. A little river was 
 making its way through the gorge to the sea, and we 
 were winding on its banks, and looking up at heights so 
 bold, so frowning, so majestic, that our hearts were filled 
 both with gladness and awe. Immense ledges of hard 
 limestone, blackened by age, rise abruptly and in perpen- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 297 
 
 dicular lines from the bed of the river, which is so wedged 
 in between two mountains, that there is no room for a foot 
 path on either side. Pine and sycamore trees are there in 
 their glory. We forded the river ten times, and came near 
 getting a wetting at each crossing, but by holding up our 
 dresses, and putting our feet nearly over the donkey s head, 
 we escaped most of the water. But those rocks ! those 
 glorious heights ! how can I describe them ? My heart 
 was full. And there, among those mountains of Asia 
 Minor, I remembered the friends far away, and resolved to 
 send them some of the exquisite flowers which grew in such 
 profusion around our path. How can I enjoy any thing 
 
 and not wish you all with me? And so, dear C e, 
 
 though my flowers will fade long before they reach you, 
 try to imagine the day back again in which they were 
 picked, and wander with me by that stream in the gorge. 
 There were every where scattered tall olianders, but it was 
 not the season for their flowering. After riding perhaps 
 two hours or more, we stopped to spend the day in a shady 
 place. We were at no loss there for shady places, for the 
 trees grew thick and large, and beautiful vines were twining 
 amongst them. We ladies sat down on a carpet which had 
 been spread for us in a little grove of majestic sycamores, 
 which formed a natural alley on both sides of a road rarely 
 trodden by the traveler, twining their branches over head, 
 and casting a deep shadow underneath. Our gentlemen 
 soon started for the heights, and we heard their voices as 
 they ascended the rocks. Soon came the cry of " the sea, 
 the sea !" and looking up, we found they had reached a 
 lofty summit, and were enjoying a glorious prospect. They 
 fired their guns, and then a thousand echoes answered. 
 But when the horn sounded, all that ever was written of 
 mountain echoes was more than realized, and I have come 
 to the conclusion that no sound can equal -that of a horn 
 
29 S MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 echoing among the mountains. I can hear it now. I can 
 almost imagine I am back among those rocks, beneath that 
 sky so brightly blue, and sitting where the golden light 
 made a sunshine in a shady place. 
 
 We took our dinner in primitive style. The men roasted 
 for us a lamb whole, and with yoourt and pilaff \ve made 
 quite an eastern dinner. Pistol shots are signals here. In 
 the morning, when Yanee, who came with our dinner, 
 wished to find where we were, he fired, and C. answered 
 him. And whenever any one is in distress, or a fire occurs, 
 pistols are fired. 
 
 About four we started to make our way back. That 
 evening, after we had returned to our cottage, we felt an 
 earthquake shake it quite sensibly. There are no houses 
 but those of the men who work on the land, and one little 
 cottage of only two rooms, and hardly large enough to turn 
 round in. It was fitted up to make the young gentlemen 
 comfortable when they go there to superintend operations, 
 and also to hunt the wild boar, &c. It was in this little 
 cottage that we staid. It is very wild and lonely there. 
 We heard the jackals cry in the evening, and sometimes 
 hyenas come into the garden. In the night we heard a 
 terrible barking, and calling of the men, and feared some 
 wolf had entered the fold ; but we learned next morning 
 that it was only some of the domestic animals that had 
 got loose. We saw the large, kind, brave, shepherds dogs ; 
 some were at the cottage, but others, and the most of them, 
 probably, were off on the mountains with the flocks. The 
 third day we came back to Sedecui." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " Our last Sunday at Sedecui was very lovely. It was so 
 warm and clear that we spent nearly all the day under the 
 trees at the foot of the garden, reading and meditating. 
 
MRS. MARV E. VAN LENNEP. 299 
 
 We had service in the parlor in the morning, and in the 
 afternoon, at five o clock, we had our last Bible class under 
 the ivy at the foot of the garden. 
 
 On Tuesday evening we gathered for the last time to 
 gether in that dear place. The next morning we came to 
 
 the city. Mamma, L y, and the brothers with us. 
 
 They would not separate from us until we left for Constan 
 tinople. 
 
 Those few remaining days were full of business, doing 
 last things. On Thursday afternoon I took tea with Mrs. 
 Riggs, in the house which had been so recently my own 
 dear home. On Friday evening there was a general gath 
 ering of our missionary friends and others at Mr. Calhoun s. 
 
 On Saturday we took our dinner for the last time together 
 at dear mamma s. Then, after a little time, H. and I were 
 obliged to say farewell. Dear mamma, it was hard. All 
 our brothers went with us in the boat. They stood in the 
 steamer with us some time. Our missionary friends were 
 there also. Then they all left us. H. and I did feel lonely 
 while we gazed on the fast receding city, and its noble 
 amphitheatre of mountains, and felt it was no longer our 
 home. Just six months before, we had greeted its red 
 roofs, and those dear friends were then unknown by face to 
 me. God only knows when again we shall meet. 
 
 And now, dear mother, I will commence my Constanti 
 nople life. I will tell you, my dear parents, I shall be con 
 tented and quiet here, but it is hard to remove my affec 
 tions and sympathies from Smyrna. I suppose you do not 
 wonder that that place seems more like home. But I am 
 contented to be here. The Armenians interest us very 
 much. H. says he could sit all day talking with them 
 and not be tired, their minds are so wide awake. I hope 
 I may be useful among the females ; they seem a lovely 
 set of beings ; and they look upon us with much kindness 
 
300 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and with hope too. The men gather around H. and ex 
 press the deepest interest in onr plans. The language 
 does not discourage me. The words are easy to remember, 
 and I am trying on all sides to pick them up. How I 
 Shall love to mingle with them when I have the language. 
 Viewed in this light, Constantinople becomes far more in 
 teresting than Smyrna. 
 
 The warm weather I do not mind at all ; it has none of 
 the lassitude and insupportableness of American heat. 
 The thermometer is at this time ninety in the shade, in 
 some of our houses ; but I do not mind it at all. Nor do I 
 feel the heat as the others do. But if my life is spared, I 
 shall probably feel it more another summer. 
 
 H. has described to you our ride here in the steamer. 
 Early on the morning of the 27th of May, we were on 
 deck, watching the dim minarets of old Stamboul. in the 
 grey light. How magnificent was our entrance ! As we 
 came up to the city, the sun had just begun to gild its 
 mosques and towers. Then we passed the green shades 
 of Seraglio Point, and came into the Golden Horn. You 
 can tell mamma all about it, dear father ; only imagine it 
 summer, and not winter as when you were here, and im 
 agine the white Seraglio Palace, looking out from its green 
 bosom. The little kaiques glided along, covering the 
 waters. These kaiques are fairy boats for summer seas. 
 Are they not pretty, dear father, with their curious carv 
 ings ? Mr. H. and G. both came for us, and we climbed up 
 the steep streets of Pera, and found ourselves at Mr. H s., 
 where Mrs. H. waited to receive us. We were treated 
 with great kindness. Soon all the missionaries began to 
 come in. We passed a pleasant time there, getting ac 
 quainted with our friends, and searching in vain for a 
 house. It is very difficult to find any thing in the shape 
 of a dwelling, that will accommodate us. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 301 
 
 On Saturday I went to a Turkish bath a real Turkish 
 bath ; and it was more like Babel than any place I was 
 ever in before children screaming, women calling, shout 
 ing, scolding, and every sound multiplied a thousand times, 
 by the resounding of those vaulted walls, till my brain no 
 longer contained a calm thought. I only knew that I, and 
 all the rest of the yelling community around me, came to 
 be washed. We sent a bundle of clothes, combs, brushes, 
 scrubbing flannels, napkins, &c., on before us. When 
 arrived at the bath, we first entered a large room with a 
 raised platform around the sides. This platform is divided 
 into various compartments by railings, and each party occu 
 pies one of these compartments. Here we left our clothes, 
 and wrapped in immense bath towels, we stepped down 
 from the platform on clogs, and walked along to the inner 
 door. Katrina, Mrs. H. s woman, was in her element, and 
 was greatly amused at my wonder at things and beings 
 around me. The heat was great in the room we entered, 
 and we were immediately in a profuse perspiration. Here 
 the people were yelling and screaming, and the awful din, 
 together with the heat, made my brain swim. But we 
 had engaged a private room, and this was hotter still. 
 The floor was of marble, and the water flowed over it. I 
 ran for the cold water, and held it to my face, as H. had 
 told me to do, and then I was able to bear the heat, which 
 was at first insupportable. The room is perhaps ten feet 
 square, lighted from above, all of marble, and not a particle 
 of wood work any where about it. There are two marble 
 basins raised from the floor, over which are two stop-cocks, 
 one of warm and the other of cold water. These are kept 
 running nearly all the time, so that the basins overflow. 
 Here we were nearly drowned in the hands of the bath 
 woman, while sitting on the floor. I should think we 
 remained in two hours. Then a dry covering was wrapped 
 
 26 
 
302 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 around us, and we went out gradually into the outer room. 
 Here we remained until quite dry, and sufficiently cool to 
 go home. It makes one quite thirsty, and while waiting 
 to dress, we sent out for some oranges, which we found 
 grateful and refreshing to us. The people of the country 
 enjoy the bath mightily, and would stay in all day if they 
 could. 
 
 Our first Sabbath passed very pleasantly. There is a 
 little garden attached to Mr. H. s residence, at the foot of 
 which, on a little seat, H. and I took our barley coffee, 
 which Nicoli, our man, prepared for us. We read Harris 
 Great Teacher, till church time, and then went to attend 
 service at Mr. D. s. The room, though it does not look 
 much like a chapel, answers very well. It has merely 
 seats, and holds about fifty persons. Mr. T., of the Syrian 
 mission, who had come in company with us from Smyrna, 
 preached. H. went at two and a half, to the Turkish ser 
 vice for the Armenians ; and we all went at four, to the 
 Bible class, at Mr. G. s, for old and young. As I looked 
 round upon the children, I thought it would be a good 
 thing to separate them from it, and have them taught by 
 themselves. I had written thus far, when I spoke to Mrs. 
 D. and Mr. C., who were present, about it ; and we all 
 agreed that it was best to do so, if practicable and I, 
 remembering my dear class in America, spoke my thoughts 
 right out, and said I should love to teach (hem.* The 
 tears came into Mrs. D. s eyes, and she thanked me as if 
 her heart was too full to speak. I wanted to put my arms 
 round her neck, for I knew then we should sympathize 
 and so we have been talking about it, and I hope we shall 
 succeed. 
 
 * In reference to this desire of hers, to collect the children of the mission 
 families into a Sibbath School class, and also the interest she felt in teaching them 
 after the class was organized, her husband remarks, " She could not rest without 
 some such means of usefulness. Besides, she would often say she Avas doing noth 
 ing, and though she could do but little, yet that little she must accomplish. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 303 
 
 On Friday, the 7th of June, we went to a little village 
 called Belgrade, about two and a half hours from the city. 
 G.* has taken a house there for a short time, and he invited 
 us to go and occupy it. Our friends thought it would be 
 best for us to go; so we took beds, bedding. &c., and Nicoli 
 to cook, and kept house there very well. It is a lovely, 
 quiet retreat, in the midst of a forest, and beautiful sheets 
 of water around. The whole is so like the deep green 
 quiet American scenery, that I almost imagined myself 
 back in my dear home. There is just the same look to 
 the trees, and soft shadows in the water, and the cattle 
 feed quietly in the green meadow land. 
 
 Our ride was very fine, in a Frank carriage, but the road 
 would be thought impassable in America. The abrupt 
 declivities are a peculiar feature of these countries. Even 
 where the hills are not high, they are extremely steep. At 
 first, our ride was over a barren road, but the view from it 
 was magnificent. Occasionally a peep at the Bosphorus, 
 with its green banks and villages. We were on high land. 
 Mount Olympus, so shadowy, reared its snowy heights, far 
 away to the south. There is something indescribably 
 beautiful in distant and snowy mountain land. Then 
 before us we caught a glimpse of the stormy Euxine, but 
 its waters stretched far away in the calm sunshine, quiet 
 and blue. 
 
 We lived quite rurally at Belgrade. We read, studied 
 Armenian, rambled in the woods, picked wild strawber 
 ries, and found pretty sweet-briar roses, while the nightin 
 gales sang all night. The notes of these little birds is the 
 most liquid music I ever heard. At first, I thought it not 
 so plaintive as I had imagined, and was surprised to find 
 it had so many merry notes ; but it is a most tender and 
 loving sound, increasing in meaning the more it is heard, 
 
 "The brother of Mr. V. L. 
 
304 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and one beauty of their song is, they choose the most quiet 
 and shady places to pour forth their warblings. That 
 little village is full of them ; and among the dark cypresses 
 in the large burying ground at Pera, they sing. 
 
 Our Sabbaths at Belgrade, were not as pleasant as other 
 days, for that was a day of frolic, and there were many 
 gay people there. But we were very quiet. It was a sweet 
 place for thought, and we improved it. 
 
 Our last Saturday at Belgrade, we rose early, and went 
 on horseback to the Black Sea, about an hour and a half 
 distant. I should never think of going over such a road 
 in America. We went down places so steep, that I nearly 
 tipped off, but the others took it so quietly, I found it was 
 nothing uncommon. We rode to a lonely village, where 
 it seems a Frank lady is a rare sight, and then we went on 
 to the sea, where there is a small Turkish hamlet. The 
 village is built of the pieces of wrecked vessels, for the 
 sudden storms and the fogs are fatal to many vessels every 
 year. There is what is called a false entrance to the Bos- 
 phorus, by which many are wrecked. The Black Sea 
 looked very finely beneath a glorious sky. We gathered 
 shells on its yellow beach. When we returned, we rode 
 just beyond the village, and dismounted, to eat our bread 
 and cheese. While there, I almost doubted my personal 
 identity so recently a school girl, rambling amidst the 
 quiet groves and valleys of dear New England, now gath 
 ering shells, and eating bread and cheese on the shores of 
 the Black Sea." 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER FATHER. 
 
 BELGRADE, near CONSTANTINOPLE, June \7th. 
 u My dear, beloved Father. You will have been in our 
 own home some weeks, I presume, before this reaches you. 
 I wish I could have sent a letter to welcome you on your 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 305 
 
 arrival ; but our removal here has made it impossible foi 
 me to write sooner, and now I have so much to say, 1 
 hardly know where to begin. 
 
 Your ardently expected letter from Trieste, reached us 
 on the third of this month, and it did make me very sad. 
 Dear father, will not Christ be your comforter ? Will not 
 He be more to you than any thing else? Will He not 
 comfort us all in this separation, and give us the joy of 
 knowing that it is all for His glory ? I ask myself, why, 
 my dear father, why should you love me so ! If I were 
 better, if I had really been the child that I ought to have 
 been, then I should not wonder as I now do. But it makes 
 me very humble to know that my dear parents do love me 
 so, even with all my faults, an d I continually pray God to 
 make me worthy of your love. 
 
 And now you are once more to see your home, and be 
 fore my letter comes, you will have seen our house beneath 
 the cherry trees, and the good old church ; and the organ, 
 and the bell will have sounded oh, how many thoughts 
 come crowding into my mind. I, too, almost feel as if I 
 were seeing them again. My heart leaps to think you will 
 be there. I can see them all. 
 
 That sad afternoon when you left, mamma and Adeline 
 came to our house, and we went home with them immedi 
 ately, and H. and I sat alone in the large parlor, watching 
 the steamer. The tears come so fast while I think about 
 it, it almost stops my writing. But your letter, dear father, 
 tells me you are not sorry I have come to dwell on mission 
 ary ground. 
 
 The day we left Smyrna, we did feel sad ; but we had a 
 fine voyage, and enjoyed the glorious view exceedingly. 
 And now H. and I are separated from both our homes, and 
 from the dear friends and companions of our early years , 
 but God is with us, and he will be our Father, and will be 
 
 26* 
 
306 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the Father of all our dear circle. We have appointed sep 
 arate evenings to pray for our friends Monday for mis 
 sions, and our missionary friends Tuesday, for our Smyrna 
 friends Wednesday, for our American friends, and Thurs 
 day evening for our American relatives you, and dear 
 mamma, E. and aunt M. s family ; Friday is for our own 
 work. We have Thursday for you, because it is the even 
 ing of your lecture. These are our stated times ; but be 
 sides these, do not our hearts daily and continually ascend 
 to God for you ? It is a great comfort to me that I re 
 member with such minute distinctness, every thing about 
 my home. There is a freshness about every thing in the 
 past, a vividness at times overwhelming. I can call up 
 day after day, hour after hour, with all its attending events, 
 conversations, looks and emotions. Almost every time I lie 
 down, some scene in Hartford rises to memory either the 
 chaise is just ready, and I ride down by the South church 
 with you ; or I am sitting with my dear mother in her own 
 room, talking of the future, which is now present. Often, 
 often, when you will think of me as being interested in 
 some scene in my new home, if you could see our spirits, 
 you would find that both H. and I had come to visit 
 you." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " On Tuesday, the 1 8th of June, we returned to the city, 
 and H. commenced looking for a house. In a few days 
 he obtained a very nice stone house, and the keys were 
 given us. While our house was being prepared for us, we 
 went to Bebec, where we had been invited to spend a few 
 days. The usual way to Bebec is by water, and I wish 
 my dear mother could for once enjoy the magnificent Bcs- 
 phorus. You must imagine it in all its summer robing, 
 the fairy palaces in the midst of green trees. We sailed 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 307 
 
 slowly up those smooth summer waters, while the boats 
 of many Pachas were gliding swiftly by us ; for it was just 
 the hour that they return to their palaces. I admire these 
 little kaiques ; and the dress of the boatmen, which is quite 
 picturesque. They wear only full trowsers, and shirts of 
 white raw silk, with very large straight sleeves. But we 
 must sit quite still to keep them from tipping over. I 
 found it difficult to do this at first. We were about an 
 hour in our sail, and then landed under the shade of some 
 magnificent trees, near the Sultan s kiosque. These 
 kiosques, which are found in every pretty place, and 
 wherever there is a fine view, add much to the scenery of 
 the Bosphorus. 
 
 We climbed up the hill till we reached the house, where 
 Mrs. H. s two sweet little girls met us at the gate, with 
 their nurse. The house is quite romantic large, airy 
 rooms, and marble basins with curiously carved stoppers ; 
 and though a gloomy looking building outside, it is mag 
 nificent within. The Greeks build their houses gloomily 
 outside so as not to attract the notice of the Turks. 
 
 On Friday evening we were informed that we had lost 
 our house. There had been some fraud practiced. It had 
 been previously rented for three years, but the owner, 
 fearing he should lose the rent, had stealthily obtained the 
 keys and- determined to rent it again. These instances of 
 deceit are very common here. H. went early on Saturday 
 to the city, to see about our house. It was indeed gone. 
 We felt very sorry to lose it, but when the keys were de 
 manded we of course gave them up. 
 
 On Saturday a flock of Armenian ladies and gentlemen 
 called on us, many of whom were deeply interested in re 
 ligion. Mr. H. conversed, and read, and prayed with 
 them. Our Sabbath at Bebec was quite pleasant. We 
 had service in the afternoon. Monday evening was spent 
 
308 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 in returning the call of the Armenians, and H., who could 
 understand them, was delighted with their conversation. 
 On Tuesday evening we had a beautiful walk to the hill 
 above Mr. H. s house. The view was indescribably fine 
 the castles of Europe and Asia, on the Bosphorus, in full 
 sight. Our thoughts were back in other days. This is 
 indeed the land where the past speaks. We found that 
 Mr. C., American Minister at Constantinople, intended 
 celebrating the Fourth of July, and that we were to unite 
 in it. 
 
 On Wednesday, when we returned to the city, we found 
 our friends busily engaged, preparing for the celebration. 
 An American steamer, in the Turkish service, had been 
 engaged to take us up to the Black Sea. The Fourth of 
 July was a glorious day and very warm. We ladies and 
 the children rode to the steamer in a Turkish arabar, or 
 carriage, all the dogs in the street making a terrible din at 
 us, while we were shaken nearly to pieces by the rough 
 pavements. Our party consisted of Mr. C. and his house 
 hold, the mission families, and a few others under Ameri 
 can protection. A fine band had been engaged, and with 
 our American flag we made something of a sensation as 
 we sailed up the Bosphorus. My heart was back in my 
 native country, and many silent prayers went up, by many 
 wanderers that day. Our view of the Bosphorus from the 
 steamer is far better than from a small kaique. How like 
 fairy land seemed those glistening palaces and green trees ! 
 We were all animation on board. The company at Bebec 
 waited for us, and came off in boats to the steamer. 
 
 As we began to go into the Black Sea, some of the ladies 
 felt a little sick ; so they immediately put back and an 
 chored in the Bosphorus, just under the ruins of an old 
 Genoese castle, covered with creeping vines, where we 
 dined. The Declaration of Independence was read by Mr. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 309 
 
 D., then we sang America, and Mr. G. offered a prayer. 
 Our music was very fine a band of Hungarians ; our din 
 ner, too, was nice, and when we toasted the American 
 Minister at Constantinople, Mr. C. immediately rose and 
 proposed the American Ministers at Constantinople. Every 
 thing went off pleasantly. We saluted the French Ambas 
 sador, as we passed his palace, by playing the Marseilles 
 Hymn, and he returned the salute by lowering his flag 
 and raising it three times. We came home in fine spirits 
 just at dark. 
 
 On the evening of the 10th of July, G s came to tell 
 us there was an opportunity for us to visit the mosques, 
 &c., if we liked. The great things of the city cannot be 
 seen without a firman, and then every one in the employ 
 ment of the government, and keeping these places, must be 
 paid, so it is too expensive ; and the way people go who 
 reside here is, under the wing of some wealthy traveller. 
 Every one does so, though it seemed to me at first half 
 mean, and yet as a gentleman would not like to go alone, 
 and invites whom he pleases, it is not considered so by any 
 one. A Dutch traveler was to go on Thursday, (the llth 
 of July.) and G. brought us an invitation. 
 
 In the morning we assembled at the Dutch embassy, 
 and a large party started to walk across the bridge to the 
 city. The other side we found carriages, and all started 
 en masse for sight seeing. At the first mosque where we 
 stopped we bought slippers to put on over our shoes, for 
 that is the custom, and whenever we entered the sacred 
 place of the Moslems, we stooped to put them on. 
 
 The mosques, the large ones, are surrounded by a paved 
 court, and we entered always this immense court first, and 
 then on one side the door of the mosque opened. Outside, 
 the mosques look exactly as in pictures, and their myriad 
 lamps are also very well pictured. They are immense 
 
310 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 structures, and the dome rises like the vault of heaven 
 above the head. There are curious stained windows, ex 
 ceedingly beautiful, and fine work, I think in arabesque 
 style, adorns the walls. I saw so many things that day, 
 that I cannot describe them so distinctly as if I had seen 
 only one. We visited three, beside St. Sophia. All of 
 them were very beautiful, and one had been a church. 
 The mausoleum and fountain of the late Sultan are ex 
 ceedingly beautiful. It is a building perhaps fifty feet in 
 length, and the tomb of the Sultan is there, and a large, 
 coffin shaped structure rises over, with nodding plumes and 
 the Sultan s cap, while its diamonds and herons feathers 
 told of its royal owner. (You know the heron s feather is 
 worn only by kings.) A large Koran on a silver stand lay 
 near by, arid a holy relic (a single hair of Mahomet,) of 
 the Prophet, was shrined in a silver case by its side. A 
 garden adorned with carnations and roses threw its fra 
 grance around the building, and a light breeze lifted the 
 long curtains of the windows, and brought fresh air into 
 this incensed room of the dead. His children s tombs lying 
 around him, were recognized by the shortness of the sable 
 structure above them. Other relatives were also buried 
 there. Oh, it was a sad room, though wreaths of snowy 
 flowers were worked around the walls and on the ceiling 
 above. There was no gleam of religion to brighten its 
 gloom. But I am hastening to take you to the spot which 
 interested me most. We stopped a short time in a coffee 
 house, and then entered the old and massive structure of 
 St. Sophia. It is impossible to describe it. It is unlike 
 any thing I had ever seen or imagined, and its effect is 
 also peculiar. How I wish I could transport you to its 
 ancient galleries, deserted now to the doves and swallows. 
 How I wish you could have sat with me far above the 
 kneeling company of turbaned heads, from whose midst 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 3 1 1 
 
 came up to my lonely seat a confused murmuring, as they 
 repeated their prayers. It is a place where the mind 
 wanders far back to the early days of the church, when 
 even then, the light of pure religion was becoming extinct 
 amidst the gloom of cloistered piles, and the drapery of its 
 thousand vain and sinful rites. The mind wanders through 
 the days of the Greek empire, and follows its decline to the 
 hour when the turban and scimitar gained admission into 
 this consecrated pile, before whom the priest and the Host 
 forever fled, and gave place to the worship of the false 
 prophet, perhaps less insulting to the Majesty of Heaven, 
 than that which preceded it. 
 
 Pictures and images are forbidden by the Koran, and 
 those which could not be taken down were covered by 
 large cloths which bore the name of God,v or a sentence 
 from the holy book of the Moslems. But some cherubim 
 still remain, being too high to be reached. The dome is 
 a dizzy height above the marble pavement, and its height 
 seemed hardly diminished, when we had ascended to the 
 first gallery, which is itself higher than the centre of our 
 church ceiling. There are two smaller galleries above 
 which we did not ascend. As I said before, these gal 
 leries are deserted, being visited only by the curious, and 
 the birds have liberty to roam freely through the wide and 
 lonely spaces, finding an easy egress through the deep, but 
 broken and ivy-covered windows. While our company 
 lingered on one side, H. and I passed around to another 
 part of the gallery, where there is a curious old doorway, 
 now filled up with stone and mortar. It is said that when 
 the Turks rushed into the church, the last priest escaped 
 through this door with the Host, and that one of the first 
 signs of the fall of the Turkish empire, and the overthrow 
 of Constantinople, will be the returning of this very priest 
 through this doorway. The Turks tell this, and say that 
 
312 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 after his escape the door was supernaturally closed. By 
 the time our party came round we were ready to return, 
 and then we enjoyed a long time of silent sitting, looking 
 down on groups of worshippers beneath, to whom some 
 readers were delivering instruction. Immense pillars sup 
 port the building, of curious and beautiful marble. I think 
 principally porphyry. The galleries themselves are large 
 enough for a church on each side, and the idea of immen 
 sity, and massiveness, and antiquity, fill the mind at every 
 glance. Just before descending, I espied an ivy branch I 
 could reach, and hastily gathering a few leaves, we pre 
 pared to go down. This descent is a very curious one. 
 Perhaps other churches which father may have seen, are 
 arranged in like manner. We did not go down by stairs, 
 but by solid mason work, winding round and round till we 
 reached the bottom, and seeming like the pathway of a 
 cavern, lighted occasionally by small windows in the deep 
 walls. 
 
 We then visited the Turkish mint, and an old church 
 which has been converted into an armory, and where 
 ancient armor is exhibited ; and then spent the remainder 
 of the day amongst the buildings and grounds of Seraglio 
 Point. Here, every spot is associated in the mind with 
 assassination, murder, and treachery. You know, perhaps, 
 the Sultans avoid this place now, so many have been 
 killed there, and consequently many parts go to decay. 
 The gardens are in European style, and the rooms are fur 
 nished in half European, half Turkish style ; and to my 
 eye, which has seen nothing of royalty before, it all seemed 
 very fine and full of luxury. There were beautiful baths 
 and lovely kiosques. These latter are little buildings with 
 light summer rooms, beautifully furnished, standing on a 
 place which commands a fine view. They are erected all 
 along the Bosphorus, and wherever there is a good view in 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 313 
 
 the country, and the Sultan visits one and another, as suits 
 his fancy. They are little palaces. We were shown one 
 lovely room, and as it was a very warm day, we could 
 appreciate the luxury which the Sultan enjoyed. It was 
 in a part of the buildings which have been recently erected, 
 and which are quite new compared with the rest. We 
 entered a room, the centre of which was occupied by a 
 marble basin, filled with water, and surrounding a fountain 
 which threw out lovely jets. A profusion of beautiful 
 flowers were placed in bunches in the basin, and by the 
 sides of the . room, and it was arranged so that jets of 
 water spouted from marble fountains from the sides of the 
 wall, and fell into the basin where the flowers stood, 
 keeping them fresh and fragrant, Gold fish were swim 
 ming in the waters, and imprisoned birds warbled sweet 
 music, and we, overcome by fatigue, sank down on the 
 softly cushioned chairs, and low carpets, which covered a 
 raised floor on one side. It was a fairy room. Our cavass, 
 (Turkish soldier or guide,) picked some of the carnations 
 and distributed them. Mine are pressed for you ; and on 
 coming out. he told us to pluck some laurel which grew in 
 the garden. 
 
 We passed through many long corridors, and room after 
 room of the harem, and saw where the poor prisoners 
 lived. Every window was closely latticed, and the outer 
 world is only seen through their prison bars. But they are 
 said to be happy, because they know nothing else, and 
 they would be frightened to be let loose into the world. 
 
 When we were going through these rooms, we had 
 become so fatigued that we sank down any where, and 
 you would have been amused to have seen how worn out 
 we were. It is rny only day at sight seeing, and I think 
 it enough to go once in one s life on such a pilgrimage as 
 we went." 
 
 27 
 
314 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 CONSTANTINOPLE, August 1st, 
 
 " My dear precious Parents, H. and I are living over 
 the events of the past year. Reckoning by the days of 
 the week, to-day was H. s last day on the water. Just a 
 year ago to-night he stepped on shore at Boston. Oh, 
 with what vividness those scenes come up to me now. 
 We linger with delight and regret over those few lovely 
 days into which so much of deep, deep interest was crowded. 
 Our hearts are celebrating them now, and thinking of all 
 God s mercies. Do not you, too, think of them, my dear 
 parents, and are you not glad that we were permitted to 
 come and work here together for our Father in Heaven ? 
 We have been thinking which of us will die first, and for 
 H. s sake I could hope it might be he, but oh, it would be 
 hard. I wish we might die together. But God knows 
 best. Yes, God does know best ; and pray that we may 
 be ready for his holy will. Dear father, dear mother, we 
 shall all meet in Heaven. H. has been sweetly comfort 
 ing me now, for he says Christ will reward you for your 
 sacrifice in his cause, even in this life. He will make it 
 up to you. O, will he not ? It grows dark, and at eight 
 o clock we go to meeting ; and by and by, when we are 
 asleep, dear father will go to the Lecture room and preach 
 one of his sweet sermons." 
 
 LETTER FROM MRS. V. I,. 
 
 MAKRY KEUY, near CONSTANTINOPLE, August 6th. 
 " I received dear mamma s letter, dated June 29th, jester- 
 day, and she says 1 1 shall not write again till your father 
 comes, and perhaps only three or four days after she said 
 that, dear father did reach home ; and now are your four 
 eyes looking together on this page. Imagine my face 
 above it, with my blue muslin dress on, (the same I wore 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 315 
 
 this very day last year, counting by the days of the week.) 
 and my black velvet ribbon around my neck, confined by 
 my pin, my pretty wedding- pin. the dearest part of which 
 to me is the hair of my dear brothers and sisters within it, 
 and the date on its back : yes, infinitely more precious than 
 gold or pearls are these. And now father don t put on a 
 long face because I speak of my dress. I want you should 
 know that I look just as I used to : only I do believe in 
 much better health than last summer at home. So far, the 
 climate suits me admirably. I am telling you the truth 
 when I say I have not minded the heat at all. 
 
 The sun has set, and the twilight shadows are gathering 
 over the Marmora, but I must tell you we have come to a 
 little village on the sea. a short distance below the city 
 walls, and are enjoying ourselves very much. Most of the 
 families leave the city in the warm weather. This is a 
 fine place for sea bathing, and has the advantage of being 
 unfashionable, there being scarcely any Frank families 
 here. There is one English Methodist family, and some 
 evangelical Armenians : so we can be useful. We have 
 hired a small house for a short time, and have brought a 
 little furniture with us. and live very pleasantly, though 
 in very rural style. There are only open gardens, or rather 
 cultivated grounds, filled with fig-trees, between us and 
 the sea. The blue waters of the Marmora roll beyond the 
 gardens, and the Princes Islands, in their beautiful rose 
 and violet light, sleep in the sea beneath this glorious 
 summer sliy. Then beyond, rise the heights of Asia, blue 
 and dim, and farther still, the snowy summits of beautiful, 
 shadowy Olympus. Dear father, you know just how it 
 looks, only imagine it summer. A lonely owl is uttering 
 his night cry, and I must wait till the lights are brought. 
 I th?nk we will step over and see Mrs. Hague. We have 
 just been in, and while there. H. prayed with the family. 
 
3 1 6 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Mr. Hague has had a stroke of the sun, but is better this 
 evening. I hope he will soon be well. He is an intelli 
 gent man, an engineer, and occupies quite an important 
 place over all the Sultan s factories. It is pleasant to have 
 him a Christian. Father, you know the pious families 
 who were brought from England to establish themselves 
 in Nicomedia. . It is over this company that Mr. H. is 
 placed. 
 
 The Saturday after our visit to the mosques, July 13th, 
 we went to our house and arranged our things, and then 
 went back to Mr. Dwight s and passed the Sabbath. My 
 little class met the first time that morning, but we only 
 organized it, William, Bell, and Mary Goodell, and James, 
 William and Charles Dwight. I explained to them how 
 I wished them to study. The Monday following, we went 
 into our new house to reside, and there at first we did feel 
 lonely, with our tall house, and nothing of nature, and no 
 near friend to consult about any thing." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " August 9th. These are our happiest days since we left 
 Smyrna, for we are quiet in the midst of nature, away 
 from fashion, and not away from usefulness. It is hard to 
 live shut out from nature, but we must become willing, for 
 our house in Pera is sadly in want of natural scenery. I 
 am sure this is one great reason we have been homesick 
 for Smyrna. Oh, we have pined for the blue sea, and the 
 violet-colored mountains ; but now we rejoice in a little 
 season for communion with nature, and our hearts are all 
 the better for it. 
 
 " Tuesday evening, 13th. While I am writing, three 
 Armenian youths sit round our table, reading the Scriptures 
 with H. It is delightful to be engaged for these interesting 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 317 
 
 people. A few days since, one of the Armenian brethren 
 from Constantinople came to call on us. and we had a 
 delightful Christian interview. After reading a chapter in 
 the Armeno Turkish Testament, H. prayed in English, and 
 the Armenian in Turkish. After these young men have 
 been here reading and conversing with H., it makes us 
 happy to know that it has been of use to them. 
 
 It is nearly twelve o clock, and the sunshine 
 covers every thing around : trees, water, islands, and faint 
 snowy clouds, all sleep in the flood of light. Noon is very 
 still in these climates. The t stilly noon is expressive 
 here. I have had a grand study over my Armenian all 
 the morning, and now I have come to have a little talk 
 with my dear parents. I am sitting on our low sofa 
 against the window, and am refreshed every moment by 
 the lovely prospect. A faint breeze is stirring, and the 
 sails on the water glide almost imperceptibly on their 
 course. In the chimney of an adjacent house is a hawk s 
 nest, and immense, vulture-like hawks are coming occa 
 sionally and lighting there for a moment, uttering a pe 
 culiar kind of cry, something like a querulous complaint. 
 So far, the Armenian is very simple. Strange to say, we 
 do not find its grammar hard. It is by no means a compli 
 cated language. The only real difficulty is in its long 
 words. But it is amusingly uncouth. When I took up 
 the Greek grammar, it troubled me very much, and I have 
 not yet mastered its everlasting declensions : but the 
 Armenian are very simple, and easily learned, and there is 
 a uniformity which renders them easily remembered also. 
 Mr. Riggs has printed a few notes on modern Armenian, 
 and it is these I am studying. To-day 1 have been learn 
 ing the pronouns, and I have them all ready to recite. 
 Heleni makes me learn Greek, and I am happy to say I 
 
 27* 
 
318 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 learn something of it daily. She wants to learn to read, 
 and it witt be a fine thing for me to teach her. H. will 
 bring me a Greek spelling book the first time he goes to the 
 city. The women and children here are very kind and 
 sociable. If I only knew how to speak Greek, or Arme 
 nian, or Turkish. I should have a fine opportunity of study 
 ing native character. 
 
 In my last journal, which I sent on the 10th of July, I 
 did not tell you how worried I felt about my piano. It had 
 been shipped at Smyrna, and we were surprised at the 
 delay of the vessel, especially as it had been south wind. 
 I prayed that I .might be willing to part with it, for I feared 
 we loved it too well. We were about having it insured, 
 but that very afternoon, Nicoli came to announce its arrival. 
 It was brought up and unpacked, and found to be in fine 
 order. How sweetly its tones sounded when I played on 
 it with H. I felt that it was a blessing restored to me by 
 God, and I prayed that it might be all consecrated to him, 
 and never used for any wrong purpose. I find its size and 
 appearance surprise, as well as please every one here, for 
 they are not accustomed to this heavy style of making 
 pianos." 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 SICKNESS AND DEATH. 
 
 " August \$th. H. has gone to the city. As I am 
 slightly ill, I could not go with him, and I have been 
 lying on the sofa all day, doing a little sewing, and a little 
 reading, and finishing a note for dear Mrs. Fitch. Heleni 
 came to tell me as soon as H. went this morning, that 
 Chelebee told her to take good care of Cocona, * and she 
 has been most of the time sitting by me, and while sewing 
 on the coverings for our sofa, she has been teaching me 
 Greek words, and telling me a variety of things. She 
 talks about my father and mother, and wonders how we 
 can be separated ; and she says often, by and by we will 
 go to America. Last evening I had many thoughts of 
 absent friends, and of those who have died. I read the 
 hymns in the little book which Mrs. Chester gave me, and 
 which belonged to Mrs. Hovey, particularly those which 
 were marked by her own hand. You remember the morn 
 ing that I left Hartford, Mrs. K. brought it to me, and put 
 it into my hand at the boat. I thought much of the past ; 
 and of the lovely circles of which Mrs. Hooker and Mrs. 
 Hovey were the bright stars. And I thought how broken 
 and dispersed they are now ! And so it must be with every 
 dear circle of affectionate friends. And were this world a//, 
 what should we do ? I pray God we may be prepared for 
 
 * Father has heard these names before, and he must tell mamma that they mean 
 gentleman and lady, or master and mistress. 
 
320 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 that heavenly world. Oh, how little will the sorrows and 
 the joys of this life appear when we reach the other world. 
 How much we need faith to bring near eternal things. 
 May God bless us all by his sweet presence, and prepare 
 us to enjoy Him forever." 
 
 TO MRS. FITCH. 
 
 August 1 5th. 
 
 " My dear aunt Susan, My heart has gone back to this 
 day last year, when I was at your house with H, and we 
 have been speaking to day of commencement exercises, 
 and wondering what now is going on in New Haven. It 
 is now ten o clock in the evening here, and the exercises 
 in the church must have drawn near the interesting part. 
 I can bring it all before my eyes, but I shall not go to the 
 church and the crowd, but remain with you in your own 
 room, and take my chair beside yours, as in good old times. 
 Oh, how sweetly can our thoughts commune with the dear 
 friends from whom we are separated. Do not for a moment 
 imagine that the things at home, or in your house, which 
 is another home to me, fade upon my memory, now I am so 
 far from them. I cannot bear to be thought a stranger 
 to one thing in New England, among those dear scenes 
 where my youth was passed. But I am sitting to talk 
 with you, and I want you to know just as much about 
 my concerns and my dear friends as you would like to 
 know. To my dear mamma I tell all, and it is a sweet 
 comfort. She may read you my journal, all that she thinks 
 best, and then you will know our pleasures and our 
 troubles, and you will understand about our leaving 
 Smyrna. We are very sorry to be separated from our dear 
 friends there : and although we hold constant and sweet 
 intercourse with them by writing, yet we miss their pleas- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 321 
 
 ant society more than I can tell you. There is a home 
 feeling about Smyrna that there cannot be here." 
 
 " August 19th. I wanted to finish my note on Thursday 
 evening, but it was too late. To-day I am writing you by 
 my window, where my eye is continually feasted by a 
 most magnificent scene. Distant views in this country 
 surpass those in America, but near views in America are 
 the finest, because the verdure is richer than here. From 
 our windows we enjoy a delightful view of the Marmora, 
 amid whose waters the Princess Islands are sleeping. 
 They are bathed now in golden sunshine, but as the sun 
 descends they give forth the most exquisite violet and rosy 
 hues, which are the charm of these lands. The mountains 
 of Asia rise dimly in the southern horizon, and far beyond, 
 tower the summits of Otympus, white and dazzling as if 
 even now its crests were still frozen. If I had finished my 
 note on Thursday evening I should have told you that not 
 withstanding our love for Smyrna, we are happy here, for 
 our work with the Armenians interests us more and more. 
 It is delightful to see their inquiring minds, and when H. 
 has spent some hours in conversing with them, he feels 
 very happy, for he says their minds are awake on every 
 subject. The evening I was writing you, three young men 
 sat round our table ; but as they talk with H. in Turkish, 
 I could not understand them. There is an excellent trans 
 lation of Young s Night Thoughts into the Turkish, but 
 with the Armenian letters. This interests the Eastern 
 mind very much, and it was this about which these young 
 men talked with great earnestness and great delight on 
 that evening. I want to have my friends at home regard 
 the people here as real human beings, with feelings like 
 their own. I am striving to learn their language, and I do 
 not find it very hard. H., too, is studying it. but he has 
 
322 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 the advantage of me, for he speaks Turkish ; and though 
 the Armenians prefer their own tongue, yet they all use 
 the Turkish." 
 
 JOURNAL. 
 
 " Wednesday evening, Z\st. When H. returned from the 
 city, on Monday evening, he brought me the good news 
 of the arrival of my own dear father in Boston. My heart 
 is very grateful to God. Oh, that meeting ! I can imagine 
 it all and we are happy, and rejoice too. I have not 
 been well for a day or two, but I hope I may soon be better. 
 I want to trust myself, and all I love, in the hands of our 
 blessed Saviour. He can bless us with far more than earth 
 can give ; but how slow we are to believe it." 
 
 " Thursday evening, 22rf. When we have been only 
 slightly indisposed, and have become well again, how 
 much it makes us value the time which our Father grants 
 to us. And this is the way I feel to-day. For the past 
 three days I have not felt like doing much, and have lain 
 upon the sofa ; but to-day I feel like myself again ; and I 
 do think it is good to be reminded of my frailty, that I may 
 learn to prize every moment more. How thankful we 
 ought to be. my dear parents, that my health has been so 
 good since I came to these climates. I have not for many 
 years, felt so well as I have during the past year. But the 
 climate of Constantinople is almost too changeable ; it is 
 too much like America in this respect. Were it not for 
 this, it would be a fine climate, for it is very far from being 
 oppressively warm. I have luxuriated in the warm 
 weather, and have not suffered at all from it. During our 
 first week in our house at Pera. we went to the Bazars in 
 Constantinople, to get some calico for covering our sofas. 
 The weather was cloudv and warm, and we became much 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 323 
 
 heated in going to the water, but on reaching the cold, 
 damp, dark places near the water s edge, where the sun 
 never shines, an almost death-like chill came over us, 
 which crossing the Horn only increased. These sudden 
 transitions from heat and profuse perspiration, to cold, are 
 very bad for the health. But we have not to suffer them 
 often. 
 
 And now, my own dear parents. I must close my journal 
 for H. to take to town. My heart comes to you. Think 
 I am talking these very words. May our Heavenly 
 Father bless us, and all whom we love. May he give you 
 joy and comfort. Love to all. My dear parents, / am ever, 
 both now and forever, 
 
 Your own affectionate daughter." 
 
 FROM MR V. L., 
 
 INFORMING HER PARENTS OF HER ILLNESS. 
 
 MAKRY KEUY, near CONSTANTINOPLE, > 
 August 28th, 1844. $ 
 
 " My dear Parents, Both Mary and myself thought, 
 that as the Vienna post leaves to-day, I had better write 
 by it, and inform you that she is sick. She has a dysen 
 tery, which came on about a fortnight since. She has at 
 times improved by the medicine given her, but last night it 
 came on with redoubled violence, and some of the symp 
 toms are alarming. I have sent this morning for Dr. S., 
 and am sorry to be obliged to send this to the post, before 
 he can have seen M., that I might give you his opinion of 
 her case. 
 
 M. has many apprehensions that it may end badly ; but 
 she appears beautifully in it all ; no one would suspect that 
 she was at all sick. She appears as calm and quiet as in 
 the happiest moment of her life, and I believe she is happy. 
 I believe I have less fears respecting the issue, yet I con- 
 
324 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 fess I feel quite alarmed by some things. But I bear it 
 very differently from her. The only way I can be at all 
 quiet in my mind, is to be very busy, especially in things 
 that concern her welfare. I cannot for a moment bear the 
 thought of separation ; but this may be the very reason 
 why I need to be chastised. Oh 5 that my heart might 
 feel perfectly at rest in God s hand, and willing to have 
 him do whatever he pleases. I approve all he does, I love 
 his character, but the flesh is weak. 
 
 M. says to you, that you must trust her in God s hands, 
 for he will do all which is best." 
 
 EXTRACT OF A LETTER 
 
 COMMENCED BY MARY HERSELF, BUT WHICH SHE NEVER FINISHED. 
 
 MAKRY KEUY, Sept. 6th : 1844. 
 
 My dear Parents, I fear we distressed you too much, by 
 writing you last week concerning my illness ; but it is 
 my desire that you should know all about your children 
 here, both in sickness and in health. I am better now, you 
 see, and amuse myself in reading and writing ; but I am 
 not yet well. I know you are thinking much of us these 
 days. Oh, how vividly they pass before our minds ; and 
 yet I have refrained from thinking much of them, for I am 
 too weak. Dear mamma s letter, dated July 15th, came on 
 our wedding day oh, what a comfort it was to me ! I 
 think it is among the best. One thing made me sad, and 
 that is, the fear she expresses that I shall lose my vivid 
 impression of home and home faces. Oh, no, no, this never 
 can be. You do not know how my heart twines around 
 the slightest thing of home ; how distinctly I remember 
 each minute thing, each minute circumstance. You know 
 that God has blessed me with a good memory, and now 
 I find what a rich blessing it is. Do not imagine that any 
 thing new or strange, can efface in the slightest degree my 
 
MllS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 325 
 
 beloved home from my mind. It is too deeply engraven. 
 My heart itself would die if the picture faded. 
 
 During this sickness, I have had many thoughts of 
 Christ and of heaven, and I shall know why God afflicted 
 me, if I ever recover. It is very hard to be sick, but I do 
 try to be patient. H. is a sweet nurse I hope he will not 
 be worn out. Heleni, too, is very kind and affectionate, and 
 I have every thing to be thankful for. As soon as I have 
 strength, we shall return to Pera, for there are many more 
 comforts there, than can be obtained here. I have suf 
 fered so little during my life, that I cannot bear sickness 
 with patience ; but I hope I shall learn. 
 
 O, my dear parents, do we not pray for you every day ? 
 Half my thoughts turn to prayers for you. Let us pre 
 pare for that blessed world, where our Saviour makes all 
 happy with the light of his countenance. I have not 
 known till this sickness, how happy Christ can make our 
 hearts. He can satisfy the heart. 
 
 I sometimes fear that this sickness is a judgment upon 
 me for improving so little my great blessings. I try to pray 
 that, God may make me suffer till I feel right. But it is 
 hard to pray this, and I stop short with the prayer that I 
 may be willing to suffer. God will do all which is best ; 
 and in heaven we shall rejoice in every dispensation. 
 
 It is a great comfort to sit here on the sofa, and write 
 vou just as I feel. I feel as if I were talking to you. And 
 are you not thankful, my dear father, now that I cannot 
 talk as fully with you as I once did, that H. has such a 
 deep experience in spiritual things? H. comes to say, 
 What would you like to eat? and I think of mamma s 
 good beef steak and bread. The bread here is almost 
 always sour ; but Andrico is going to hunt in Pera to-mor 
 row, till he can find some sweet. New England bread 
 
 28 
 
326 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and butter and milk, are the things I most feel the want of, 
 and New England cleanliness. 
 
 Good-bye, my dear parents ; this letter will not go till 
 next Wednesday, and before that time, I trust we shall 
 have something new to say." 
 
 TO THE FRIEND 
 
 DESIGNATED BY , IN THE FORMER PAGES OP THIS MEMOIR. 
 
 MAKRY KEUY, Sept. 7th, 1844. 
 
 " My dear H. I believe, that just at present, I am be 
 coming acclimated. Something is making rather uncom 
 fortable work with my health, which you know has been 
 uncommonly good since I came to the East. Whether it 
 be H. s love for Smyrna, or whether it be in reality the 
 case, he is tempted to believe that the climate of Constan 
 tinople is not as good for me as Smyrna. The changes 
 here are too great. When the north wind blows, as it 
 comes from the Black Sea, it is too cool, and when the 
 south wind blows, it is very hot. The heat I do not mind 
 at all indeed it is very pleasant, and there is a luxury 
 about it very delightful. I hope I may soon be better. 
 At present I am unable to do any thing, except occasion 
 ally to write a little, as it is a recreation. It is three 
 weeks since I became ill part of the time have been in 
 bed, and now I can with much difficulty walk from one 
 room to the other. Before my illness, I had commenced 
 studying Armenian in earnest, and shall resume it as soon 
 as I can. Constantinople life has nothing of the charm 
 which Smyrna life has, but we content ourselves with the 
 hope of doing good among these dear Armenians. Their 
 minds are wide awake. 
 
 Did you think of us this week ? our wedding week ? 
 Last year this day, we were at the Falls those glorious 
 falls ! How much has happened since then. How tender 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 327 
 
 the recollection of those days in Hartford our school 
 days our days when we met to read together, and after 
 wards those quiet walks when the sun was setting, and 
 the evening star beginning to look quietly down, and we 
 were communing of holy things. Our Saturday evenings 
 oh, they were the sweetest. Do we not remember each 
 scene in the beautiful past as vividly as if we were again 
 treading those very spots ? We have a great deal to talk 
 about and if we do not in this world meet, I know we 
 shall remember them all in heaven. And do not you be 
 lieve, that our memories will be far more vivid there, than 
 they ever can be here ?" 
 
 TO ONE OF HER YOUNG FRIENDS IN HARTFORD. 
 
 MAKRY KEUY, Sept. 9th. 
 
 My dear S, I have thought of you, and prayed for you 
 many times, and particularly since I have heard of the 
 deep affliction* which our Heavenly Father has sent into 
 your family. You have learned very early in life, that 
 this is a world full of sorrow, and that if this were our 
 only state of existence, it would be hardly worth while to 
 live. But let us thank our Father, who gives us the promise 
 of a glorious home beyond the grave ; a home where no pain 
 can enter a home where existence is perfect happiness. 
 While we are in health we are apt to forget that other 
 world, but in sickness the mind returns to it with new 
 feelings. This is the case with me. I have been prone 
 to forget heaven ; while I have been in health it has seemed 
 far off, and I have not tried to fix my affections there, as I 
 now feel that I ought. But for some weeks my health 
 has been very feeble, and the world has grown dim, and I 
 bless God who has in mercy afflicted me, so that I might 
 look up to that better world, which should occupy our 
 
 * This young friend had lost a brother who was very dear to all. 
 
328 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 chief attention. Dear S., this world is not to be our home. 
 Let us rejoice in this. A few days of care will soon pass, 
 and then we, and those we love, will begin a blessed ex 
 istence in the presence of our Saviour, who will make all 
 our hearts happy, through all eternity. But how little \ve 
 think of heaven, and how we start at the thought of dying. 
 Yes, dying is a solemn thing. I shrink when I think of 
 the hour of death. But then I say, will Jesus leave those 
 who put their trust in him ? Oh, no, we may safely con 
 fide in him, and he will take away all fear of death, and he 
 will put such sweet thoughts of heaven into our minds, 
 and of the lovely company of redeemed ones who are gath 
 ered there, that we shall no longer look upon this life as 
 desirable, but shall joyfully meet death as a messenger 
 sent to carry us to our beautiful, our glorious home. I 
 think our views of heaven will depend very much upon the 
 manner in which we view Christ. He is the chief attrac 
 tion in heaven, and he must have our highest love, if we 
 would hope to have heaven attractive. If we meditate 
 much upon the perfect character of our Almighty Saviour, 
 we shall see how adapted he is to satisfy our hearts. Yes, 
 dear S., he can satisfy as no other being can ; and I trust 
 you have long ere this found it out. But if you are troubled 
 at finding that Christ is not all to you that you wish him 
 to be, though you do sincerely put your trust in him, the best 
 way to remedy this is to think very much of him, to strive 
 to have your thoughts go up often to him, and also to pray 
 earnestly that he will show you how lovely he is. Christ 
 has sources of comfort and happiness in himself, which he 
 is ready to impart to us, and of which we now little dream. 
 Our minds are too dark to see his loveliness. Oh, when 
 will these clouds be rolled away ? Dear S., let us no longer 
 think of him as a being far away, but as a kind and faithful 
 friend, who loves us with so tender a love, that he longs to 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 329 
 
 draw us to his bosom, and make us forever happy. But 
 you may think, dear S., that I intend writing a sermon in 
 stead of a letter, and I will tell you frankly, that these 
 thoughts have dwelt so much in my mind of late, that I 
 could not refrain from writing them. 
 
 I have had such good health almost ever since I came 
 to the East, that it is hard now to think of being an invalid ; 
 but I must trust in God, and have patience. Oh, it is very 
 sweet to know we are in the hands of a kind Heavenly 
 Father, who knows just what is best for us. 
 
 Dear S., how much I would give to see you once again ! 
 but let us strive so to live, that we shall meet in heaven." 
 
 FROM MR. V. L. 
 
 CONSTANTINOPLE, Sept.\8th, 1844. 
 
 " My beloved Parents, I have so long delayed writing 
 again, in the hopes of being able to give you a more satis 
 factory account of Mary s health. I am rejoiced to say 
 that she is better, and that her fever has left her. But she 
 has been very much reduced by this sickness. She is weak 
 and emaciated, so that you would hardly know her. 
 
 M. sends you her very best love, and wishes you to trust 
 her entirely in God s hands, fully believing that he will 
 take care of her, and do all that is best for her. Miss W. 
 has been very kind to us in M. s sickness, being the only 
 one who has been able to afford me any assistance in taking 
 care of her." 
 
 FROM THE SAME. 
 
 CONSTANTINOPLE, Sept. 25th, 1844. 
 
 " Mary has had some clouds, but generally she is in a 
 happy, contented state of mind, trusting in Christ as able 
 to do all things for her, and alone able to wash away her 
 
 28* 
 
330 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 sins, and to save her at last. I have just asked her 
 whether she had any message for you. She says, give 
 my love, my very best love ; tell them I have a great many 
 things to say to them, but I can t now. Tell them it will 
 be very, very sweet, when all the redeemed meet together 
 in heaven. " 
 
 FROM THE SAME. 
 
 CONSTANTINOPLE, Sept. 27th, 1844. 
 
 " My dearest Parents, I wrote you the day before yes 
 terday, about M. s state, but as the letter is to go by ship, 
 and it may be long before you can receive it, I now write 
 you by post, especially as the disease has made great 
 progress since that time. Yesterday morning the doctor 
 told me that, her disease was typhus fever, and that he 
 had very strongly suspected its nature from the beginning. 
 In the aflernoon a consultation was held, in which the 
 physicians agreed perfectly. 
 
 Mental aberration had slightly commenced the day be 
 fore. Yesterday it gradually increased, with a pulse at 
 one hundred and forty. During the last night she did not 
 close her eyes, and has constantly been seeing a variety of 
 imaginary sights, and talking with many of her friends. 
 Once in a while she has had a lucid moment ; but it has 
 been short, and apparently given her to express her entire 
 confidence in Christ, and her full committal of all her 
 friends into his hands. 
 
 In the midst of all her delirium and agitation, she shows 
 in a touching manner her love for her friends. She has 
 often called you to her, and been conversing with you. 
 Last night she called me to her, to catch three letters 
 which her father had thrown her, and which were fallen 
 into her bosom. She was also certain he had passed in the 
 street, and asked why he had not called to see her now he 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 33 1 
 
 was in town. At one moment she begged me most touch- 
 ingly, to let her go and see her father and mother. She 
 has several times called M. M., and spoken to her, and has 
 also spoken of several of my relatives. 
 
 I have done all I could to find out her state of mind, as 
 well as to help her to fix her hopes on the sure foundation. 
 Before the critical turn which the disease took, we talked 
 a great deal together on experimental religion. She often 
 expressed doubts as to her state ; they came from her deep 
 sense of unworthiness and short coming. She always 
 called herself an unprofitable servant, and deeply mourned 
 on account of it. But her mind was stayed on Christ as 
 her only hope : and she looked for no other Saviour wished 
 for no other. From the first of her illness, she has believed 
 that she should not recover, and all our reasonings upon the 
 subject have proved of no avail. This impression has led 
 her to make her preparation thorough. She has conversed 
 about it with whoever could give her any information. 
 But now all doubts seem dispelled. Whenever she has 
 been lucid, and before she lost her mind, her hope was 
 strong, believing that Christ could and would save her. 
 
 A few hours later. The doctor has been in, and finds 
 that the disease has made alarming progress during the 
 night. He thinks her in a very critical situation. Her 
 limbs have become coldj and all the hot applications fail to 
 draw the heat towards them." 
 
 u Sept. 27th. 1 d clock. Thus far your son-in-law had 
 written. and now, at his request, I enter upon the painful 
 duty of announcing to you, that your beloved daughter s 
 race in this world is run. She has fought the good fght ; 
 she has finished her course ; she l has kept the faith? 
 
 I have just come from the bedside where her lifeless 
 body still lies, and it is only fifteen minutes since she drew 
 her last breath. But her soul is not there ; it is not any 
 
332 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEfc 
 
 where in this world ; but we doubt not it has gone to dwell 
 with that glorious and faithful Saviour, to whom she had 
 dedicated her life. She loved much, and would have done 
 much for her Lord in this dark world, and he accepted her 
 offering of herself but has removed her to a higher service 
 in his own bright world of glory. 
 
 Would that I could speak a word of comfort to both 
 your hearts. But God must comfort you, and I doubt not 
 he will do it. Heaven is as near to the children of God in 
 Constantinople as in Hartford ; and it is as safe dying here 
 as there. May you, and we, all be ready to welcome the 
 Saviour, whenever he shall come to call us away ! 
 
 H. G. O. DWIGHT." 
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 FROM A LETTER BY THE HUSBAND OF MARY, A PEW DAYS AFTER HER DEATH. 
 
 " Oh, my dear precious Father and Mother, How can I 
 announce to you the fearful calamity which has befallen 
 me, and not only me, but all who have ever known my 
 Mary, my now sainted and forever happy Mary. 
 
 ********* 
 
 But I must not give vent to my own grief, I must hasten 
 to satisfy your trembling curiosity. My M., your M., is 
 gone. She has fled from this world of pain and sin, and 
 now lies in Jesus bosom ; and her body, the once lovely 
 mansion of the loveliest spirit, sleeps on an eminence that 
 overlooks the city for whose spiritual welfare she laid down 
 her life. 
 
 You know it is about six weeks since she began to be 
 ill. Medicine did not succeed in entirely restoring her, 
 though at times it checked her disease. I removed her 
 into town as soon as I could, that she might have constant 
 medical attendance. Under a change of treatment, she 
 seemed to be doing well, when all at once, on Sunday, the 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 333 
 
 22d, there was a powerful relapse. On Wednesday, her 
 mind began to wander. On Thursday night, she went 
 down very fast. I was constantly by her side. In the 
 morning her limbs were cold. The usual hot applications 
 left them as cold as before all the heat was concentrated 
 in her breast. But she had her reason, though she could 
 scarcely articulate, or perceive objects around her. 
 
 About eleven o clock, began her agony and the doctor 
 tells me I have seen all that can be seen in such a moment. 
 But he assures me she neither suffered nor was conscious 
 of any thing. I have reason to believe it, and comfort 
 myself with it. But she expired like the breeze on the 
 ocean, when the ripples beat fainter and fainter on the 
 shore. She breathed slowly, and yet more slowly, and 
 died without a groan, or the slightest motion of a muscle. 
 
 Mary s mind had long been preparing for her end. From 
 the first, she believed that she should not recover. She 
 settled all her doubts one by one. On Sunday, before her 
 relapse, she expressed a sweet and perfect confidence in 
 her Saviour, and entrusted all things to him. We had 
 some sweet words together. She said God would take 
 care of me, and wanted to talk about her death. I told 
 her I could not bear it, and that there was no probability 
 of her dying sooner than I. Still she did talk about it. 
 On Monday her mind began to wander. Her fears were 
 roused for a moment, but she checked them at once, and 
 expressed the fullest confidence in Christ, and the firm 
 belief that he would save her. 
 
 I have written you something about her derangement 
 Now I want to say, that from seven o clock on Friday 
 morning, her mind ceased to wander. She was constantly 
 speaking to herself. All I could distinguish was in strong 
 hope and joyful expectation. I several times made out, 
 Oh, how happy ! Very happy ! How sweet it will be 
 
334 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 to be there ! I kept whispering in her ear words of en 
 couragement, and as long as she could hear, she seemed to 
 enjoy it much, and responded to it. When I repeated the 
 first stanza of the hymn, Jesus, lover of my soul, there 
 was a strong, bright smile, and she whispered, yes, yes, 
 several times. Soon ; however, she could hear nothing. I 
 laid myself before her eyes, and asked if she knew me ; 
 she said yes, Henry. But soon she could distinguish 
 us no more. She kept her eyes distinctly fixed toward 
 heaven. Her voice was presently inarticulate, and it was 
 only groans, which soon became strong breathings. For 
 the last time she had spoken of her feelings ; she said she 
 felt perfectly well. The agony seemed one in which she 
 had nothing to do. The doctor said he was sure she was 
 unconscious of it. He says also, that all her last forenoon 
 he had seen that her mind was engaged with the world to 
 which she was going. 
 
 My dear parents, I am afraid you will think I do not 
 submit to God s will. I do, from the bottom of my heart. 
 
 I know he does all things right. And how can I 
 murmur when my Mary is so happy. Let us all kiss the 
 hand that smites." 
 
 A FEW ADDITIONAL NOTICES FROM A LETTER OF MISS W N. 
 
 CONSTANTINOPLE, Sept. 30^/i, 1844. 
 
 " You have heard all the sad news ere this sad for us 
 survivors most sad for him who has lost the light of his 
 life. God has taken our dear M. to himself, and it is mo 
 mentarily pleasant to think how happy she is now in the 
 presence of her Saviour, among glorified spirits ; but as we 
 are bound down to earth, we feel the loss of one who 
 would have shed sunshine around our path. M. was ever 
 so sprightly, so cheerful, so disposed to make others happy, 
 that all were depending upon her for life and animation 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 335 
 
 during the coming winter. We were only waiting for her 
 to recover, to commence various plans. We had made 
 some arrangements with reference to the children of the 
 mission families ; all thinking it important that something 
 should be done to interest and improve them, as they grow 
 up here without the lectures and other varieties which 
 young people have in America. During the day, each 
 were to pursue their several avocations, and at evening 
 were to endeavor to revive, improve, and edify each other. 
 All was depending upon the new comers, as others were 
 too feeble, or too much immersed in cares, to go forward in 
 any new project. 
 
 When I carne to Constantinople, about the middle of 
 August, Mr. and Mrs. V. L. were down on the sea-coast. 
 I received a note from M., saying that she had not been 
 well for a few days, but wished me to come there as soon 
 as I had seen the lions about C. I spent a week in this 
 way, and then accompanied Mr. V. L. to Makry Keuy. 
 M. appeared well, and stepped about in her usual sprightly 
 way; but informed us that she had that day a return of 
 unfavorable symptoms. She did not rise the next morning, 
 and kept her bed most of every day during the week, and 
 it was not until the end of it, that the disease was checked, 
 when she had become weak, and Mr. V. L. carried her 
 from the bed to the sofa. 
 
 On Monday, Sept. 2d, having been there just a week, it 
 became necessary for me to return to Pera. I was think 
 ing whether I should go again to Makry Keuy, when 1 
 received a note written by Mary herself, saying they ex 
 pected to come up to Pera in a few days. On the follow 
 ing Tuesday they came. M. was brought up from the 
 boat in a sedan chair, and laid upon her bed, where I saw 
 her an hour or two afterwards. She appeared much the 
 same as when I left her at Makry Keuy. It was not 
 
 ^ o? TS: 
 
336 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 thought best she should talk much, and therefore I read to 
 her. She was not disposed for light reading, but seemed 
 pleased with serious subjects. She often said she thought 
 she should not recover from this sickness. She thought 
 over her past life, examined the foundation of her hope of 
 salvation, expressed her fears that she was not as willing 
 to die as she should be she could not endure to think of 
 her husband, and of her parents in their bereavement. As 
 no new danger was apprehended from her symptoms, I 
 was sorry to hear her talk in this way. She was, how 
 ever, very cheerful and patient, and during the first week 
 of her return to Pera. talked about any subject that inter 
 ested me. 
 
 She said one day, j^ou will see my mother, probably, 
 before I shall. Tell her how much I love her but that 
 you cannot do. Tell her that time and distance do not 
 diminish my interest and affection and I must thank for 
 her all those friends who so kindly helped in her prepara 
 tions for leaving home. She talked over her severe illness 
 at Hartford, and remarked upon the kindness of different 
 individuals to her at the time. How carefully should I 
 have treasured up every word, and how I should have 
 drawn her out upon every subject of interest, instead of 
 deferring them to a time when I thought she would be 
 well, if I had suspected the least danger in her case. 
 
 The Tuesday before her death I began to be discouraged 
 about her, and offered to sit up with her during the night, 
 if Mr. V. L. would retire and take some rest. Before 
 leaving in the morning I read to her from the Daily Food, 
 the verse for the day, September 25th, to which she said, 
 how beautiful. She thanked me with her usual warmth 
 for staying with her, and after promising to do so again 
 soon, I left her, never more to see her when she was con 
 scious of my presence. The next night Mrs. Dwight 
 
MRS M\RY E. VAN LENNEP. 337 
 
 spent there, and she was much the same. The following 
 night Mr. V. L. watched with her himself. She had 
 appeared weaker during the day, and her mind somewhat 
 affected. On Friday morning I did not think of there 
 being any more immediate danger, but at eleven o clock 
 word came to me that she was dying. I hastily snatched 
 my bonnet, and with Mr. Goodell hurried to her bedside. 
 What a change! She was breathing heavily, her eyes 
 fixed, and she was evidently unconscious. The physician 
 and her husband were at her side ; Mr. and Mrs. Dwight 
 near. In a few moments Mr. V. L. s brother came in, and 
 we all stood speechless, only Mr. Goodell uttered a short 
 prayer commending her spirit to God. We knew the mo 
 ment of her death only as the physician said to her hus 
 band, l she is gone, when he fainted and was carried from 
 the room ; and Mrs. Dwight and myself were left alone 
 with the lifeless body of our departed sister. Her servant 
 maid, a Greek girl, who had been also present, came in, 
 and we commenced our melancholy office. It was a new 
 and trying scene to me, for I had never seen any thing of 
 the kind. I could not permit my feelings to excuse me 
 there were no other of the missionary ladies who were 
 well enough to do it. and it must not be left to servants. 
 Little had I thought when I arranged her hair for her day 
 by day, that I was to see it done for the last time so soon, 
 but I forbear. She is gone, and we are left desolate. On 
 Saturday, at two o clock, the few Christian friends assem 
 bled to perform the last sad office. Mr. Goodell conducted 
 the services at the house. Her favorite hymn, Jesus, 
 lover of my soul, was sung. The procession of about 
 thirty gentlemen walked to the grave, and the bier was 
 carried on the shoulders of a number, none of whose names 
 I heard mentioned, excepting Rev. Mr. T., one of the 
 missionaries of the American Episcopal church. The 
 
 29 
 
338 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 ladies all remained at the house, as it is not the custom for 
 them to go to the grave. I cannot realize the truth that 
 Mary s spirit is in heaven, and her body beneath the 
 ground. It was indeed a sudden stroke to all, and most so 
 I think to her husband. But let us not look down into the 
 narrow house of the body, but up to the blessed mansion 
 where the glorified spirit is chanting the praises of redeem 
 ing love." 
 
 A BRIEF NOTICE BY MRS. GOODELL. 
 
 " Very soon after she came from the country, she re 
 quested us to pray that she might have patience and resig 
 nation. She wished us also to repeat to her verses of 
 Scripture, saying, they were so refreshing, and helped to 
 fix her thoughts on God, adding that her mind had become 
 very weak, and that she could not think much. On the 
 morning of the 23d, she requested me to read to her out of 
 her text book, the verse for the day, which I did. In the 
 afternoon I read to her at intervals, passages of Scripture 
 and some hymns, with which she expressed herself much 
 delighted and comforted. Now she is where she needs no 
 such feeble help. 
 
 Mrs. Van Lennep looked lovely and pleasant in death, 
 perfectly natural, and with a countenance uncommonly 
 sweet." 
 
 A BRIEF EXTRACT FROM A LETTER OF MR. V. L. 
 
 February, 1845. 
 
 " In thinking over the circumstances of Mary s sickness, 
 I cannot help being struck with the care of her Father in 
 Heaven to prepare her to go home to himself. From the 
 commencement of her indisposition, she had an impression 
 that it would end in her dissolution. At first, she merely 
 hinted the existence of that impression ; but she soon 
 
MRS MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 stated and repeated it. Her evident object all the day long 
 was to prepare herself for her last change. 
 
 Providence kindly provided that we should be placed in 
 a quiet country village, seeing almost no company ; so that 
 she could give herself up without any hindrance to a 
 review of all the great features of Christianity, and going 
 to the only foundation of hope to the sinner, might place 
 her feet more firmly than ever on the rock Christ Jesus. 
 I shall never forget the sweet and delightful conversations 
 we had together all the time we were at Makry Keuy. I 
 particularly remember one afternoon, while she was yet in 
 health, we were talking about the blessedness of Heaven, 
 when her emotions became so powerful that she raised her 
 eyes to what was soon to be her own abode, and said, while 
 the tears gushed from them. O, it will be sweet to be 
 there. The character of Christ occupied her mind more 
 than any other topic, and the delightful views contained in 
 * The Great Teacher, a book we were then reading, were 
 to her a source of the highest pleasure. 
 
 During the last weeks of her life she became very weak, 
 and was unable to bear what required much concentration 
 of thought : but she had a high relish for prayer, and 
 whenever Mr. Goodell called she uniformly asked him to 
 pray. I wish I could remember her many sweet expres 
 sions of every Christian emotion ; her committing her friends 
 and us all, to the hands of the Redeemer; but her thoughts 
 and the state of her mind so engrossed me, that the words 
 in which she gave utterance to them, have escaped from 
 the memory. Besides, she talked as much with her coun 
 tenance and gestures as with her lips, and the whole was 
 a clear mirror by which one could gaze into the purest and 
 most angelic soul.* 
 
 * The trial of sickness nd suffering gave a greater lustre to every excellence In 
 her character, and she is no? fully known by those who have not seen her in such 
 circumstance?. Mr. V. I. 
 
340 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Before losing it forever, I took a last sad look of that 
 sweet countenance which had been the seat of so many 
 emotions, but I deeply felt Mary was not there. On Sat 
 urday afternoon, the circle of sympathizing friends met in 
 our large parlor, where Mr. Goodell performed religious 
 services. When the funeral train had started. I took 
 another way in a carriage with Mr. Schauffler, and was at 
 the grave long before they had reached it. I stood by the 
 opening earth ready to receive into its bosom the remnant 
 of my Mary. Oh, how I wished I could lie down in it by 
 her side. At length the mourning train appeared, winding 
 among the solemn trees and the Armenian tombs which 
 border the Protestant grave yard. It slowly ascended the 
 slope, near the summit of which we stood. Mr. Goodell 
 and the Prussian chaplain walked in front. Then came 
 the bier covered with its black cloth, held by some of our 
 brethren. The American ambassador followed. He had 
 requested to carry the cloth, but was told that it would be 
 a sufficient expression of his interest if he walked first after 
 the bier. The Prussian chaplain performed the services at 
 the grave with much feeling, and all that was visible of 
 my sweet Mary disappeared under the earth. * * * * 
 Sleep there until thou rise to a happy resurrection ! Sleep! 
 Thy rest is peace, and thy soul is blessed !" 
 
 A monument erected by her husband in the Protestant 
 burying ground at Pera covers the spot where her dust 
 reposes. In reference to the place of her burial, Mr. V. L. 
 remarks, "At first I felt disappointed that her remains 
 could not be conveyed to Smyrna, to be buried among the 
 graves of my ancestors, but she sleeps where now I would 
 wish her to sleep, among the people for whose welfare she 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 341 
 
 sacrificed her life. She went to Constantinople at a great 
 personal expense, solely for the sake of the Armenians 
 whom she loved, and in their midst let her sleep among 
 the living and the dead. From her grave you behold the 
 Bosphoras passing under your feet, with its crowded vil 
 lages on both sides ; you also see parts of Constantinople 
 itself. If the spirit ever visits the place of its clay, with 
 what joy will she look around on a people restored to the 
 spiritual worship of God, as I trust they will be before 
 many years have passed." 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 CLOSING REMARKS. 
 
 AND now the task is done. It was undertaken by affec 
 tion, and pursued with a pleasing though melancholy satis 
 faction, as it furnished the occasion of living over again 
 the dear and tender scenes of days that are past, never to 
 return. 
 
 It was the wish of the writer that the preparation of the 
 memoir might have fallen to other and abler hands ; but 
 the feelings of the father have not permitted him to look 
 over the papers of his deceased daughter, until the work 
 was nearly ready for the press. Yet this may not prove 
 so serious a loss as was at first apprehended, as it has led 
 to a more copious selection from her writings than might 
 have been made in other circumstances ; and thus the 
 subject of the memoir has been, with slight exceptions, her 
 own biographer. 
 
 And here the writer might gather up the traits in her 
 character and present them in a connected view, but as 
 this has been done in a sermon appended to the memoir, 
 she will only add a few things which occur to her mind in 
 closing, as contributing to make the portrait more complete. 
 
 Every one who has read the preceding pages must have 
 been struck with two things ; Mary s love of life and her 
 early preparation to leave it. Her husband, as were others, 
 was constantly impressed with these facts. He says, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 34i> 
 
 " Mary loved life. She loved her friends with a rapturous 
 love. She loved man, of whatever nation, whatever re 
 ligion, in whatever state." She " desired life, that she 
 might impart to others the blessings which had been so 
 richly bestowed upon her."* 
 
 She was also qualified to enjoy life. Of this, no one can 
 doubt who has read her memoir ; and yet her friends have 
 a consciousness of the fact, which can never be imparted 
 to others. She looked upon the works of nature as a mani 
 festation of the excellence and glory of their great Creator, 
 and she loved them as the work of her Father s hand. 
 She often spoke of their soothing and elevating influence 
 on the mind, and said of them, that " they were a lovely 
 book to read with the Bible." She loved her work in life; 
 and the people for whose spiritual welfare she had sacri 
 ficed so much.f " Hers was a heart whose emotions were 
 powerful, and constantly keeping along with the thousand 
 objects which impressed her."J 
 
 With regard to her being qualified for usefulness, her life 
 speaks for itself, yet the testimony of her husband on this 
 point is too striking to be omitted. He says, " My inter 
 course with her was a source not only of happiness, but of 
 real, spiritual improvement, and I have grown ten times 
 faster in my Christian character while she has been with 
 me. I blessed God continually for having given her to me." 
 
 Her adaptedness to fill with happiness to herself and 
 
 * Her own remark. 
 
 t An Armenian youth of intelligence and piety, who was in the family of Mr. 
 Dwight at the time Mary was there, said of her, " She loved my people very much 
 I remember one day she said, (opening her arms) if there was only room, I would 
 take them all in ; then she laid her hand upon her heart, as if to say, there is 
 room enough here. " 
 
 Her husband says, " 1 have often been struck with Mary s love for the Arme 
 nians. In one of her letters she says, when 1 see these lovely Armenian girls 
 passing through the streets, their dark eyes peeping from under their snowy veils, 
 I long to take them to my arms and teach them a Saviour s love. " 
 
 JMr. V. L. 
 
344 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 acceptability to others, the various stations which it was 
 her lot in life to occupy, pass in pleasing retrospect before 
 the mind, yet only a single testimony, and that in reference 
 to the last relation she was called to sustain, shall be 
 quoted : " She was a crown of glory to her husband."* 
 
 And yet in the morning of life and in the enjoyment of 
 every thing which could contribute to make life useful and 
 happy, she kept constantly before her mind the day of her 
 death. Indeed, from the time in her tenth year, when she 
 penned the resolution, " Resolved to think often of my 
 dying," the importance of being prepared for a state of 
 purity and blessedness beyond the grave, was never lost 
 sight of. One of her young friends who knew her well, 
 says, " the future world was so much in her thoughts that 
 her early removal to it could have been no great surprise 
 to her, whatever it was to us." The same friend, in speak 
 ing of her preparedness for heaven, says, " she let her light 
 so shine, that the world did not wait till after her death to 
 count her among the number of Christ s jewels." 
 
 A word or two respecting her religious training might 
 not be out of place here. What that was may be gathered 
 from a chapter in the commencement of this memoir, and 
 also from a few remarks in the sermon before alluded to. 
 In addition it need only be said, that in conducting this 
 part of her education, her parents kept constantly in mind 
 her fallen and ruined state by nature, and the necessity of 
 Divine interposition in order to a recovery from this state. 
 These great and leading truths of Christianity were made 
 the basis of her religious education. They were used as 
 an essential means of giving her a just view of her state as 
 a sinner, and of leading her to Christ as the only Saviour. 
 To the impressions which these truths made upon her 
 mind in her tender years, resulting as they did in her early 
 
 * Rev. Mr. Qoodell, Constantinople. 
 
MRS. MARY E, VAN LENNEP. 345 
 
 piety, is to be traced, all that made her so lovely and use 
 ful in life, and prepared her for so early a removal from this 
 to a purer world. 
 
 And now may He to whom this beloved child consecrated 
 herself in the morn ng of her days, to whom she was in 
 debted for all that made her what she was, graciously 
 smile upon this humble effort, and condescend to make use 
 of it in the advancement of His own cause, which was 
 dear to the deceased while she lived, and from which it 
 seemed good in His sight so early to withdraw her labors. 
 
LINES BY A FRIEND 
 
 TO THE MEMORY OP 
 
 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP, 
 
 Who died at Constantinople, September 27th, 1844. 
 
 THY grave is with the Moslem dead, 
 
 Far o er the rolling sea, 
 Where none of all that loved thee here 
 
 Can go to weep for thee ; 
 Thou who wert to so many hearts 
 
 Dear as the light of day ; 
 Whose sweet voice from our memories 
 
 Can never pass away. 
 
 Could earthly love avail to save, 
 
 Or spirit purified, 
 Or youth and hope and holy faith, 
 
 Thou surely hadst not died. 
 Thy labor in the vineyard closed 
 
 Long ere the noontide sun ; 
 The dew still glistened on the leaves 
 
 When thy short task was done. 
 
 The angel came and called for thee, 
 
 He took thee by the hand, 
 He led thee to the river s side, 
 
 And showed the shining land ; 
 And thou didst launch thy trembling bark, 
 
 And fearlessly go o er, 
 Nor cast one lingering backward glance 
 
 Upon the fading shore, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 347 
 
 And glorious was the light that streamed 
 
 Down from the pearly gate ; 
 And glorious were the angel band 
 
 That round thy steps did wait; 
 And blessed were the harmonies 
 
 That through the air did roll, 
 The welcome of the host of heaven 
 
 Unto thy blissful soul. 
 
 And there thou art in glory shining, 
 
 Such as no eye can see, 
 And there we think without repining 
 
 That thou shall ever be : 
 For though the way is long and dreary 
 
 Up to the hills of light, t 
 And though our steps are often weary 
 
 With wandering through the night, 
 
 We trust in him who was thy Guide 
 
 To lead us all the way, 
 Till on our souls shall dawn the light 
 
 Of the eternal day. 
 Sweet are the memories our hearts 
 
 Shall ever keep of thee, 
 Till in our Father s house at last 
 
 Tny face once more we see. 
 
 ON THE DEATH OF MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Scarce was the joyance o er 
 
 That hailed the nuptial rite, 
 And scarce the tender, parting tear 
 
 Dried in its channels bright, 
 When o er the Atlantic surge, 
 
 There came a sound of woe, 
 The flower that erst our garden deck d 
 
 Was in its bloom laid low. 
 
 t See page 68 of the Memoir. 
 
348 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Sweet friend within our souls, 
 
 How fresh each hallowed trace, 
 Thy meek forgetfulness of self, 
 
 Thy loveliness and grace, 
 Thy hand the harp that rul d, 
 
 Thy warbled music sweet, 
 Thy childhood s early choice to sit 
 
 Low at thy Saviour s feet. 
 
 Within the house of God 
 
 There was a marriage train, 
 A gathered throng, a breathless hush, 
 
 An anthem s thrilling strain, 
 And thou in snowy robe 
 
 Wert by thy lover s side, 
 While there a father s voice invok d 
 
 Heaven s blessing on the bride. 
 
 Thy path was o er the wave, 
 
 To ancient climes afar, 
 Where turns the pagan s blinded eye, 
 
 From Bethlem s blessed star ; 
 But, soon life s labor o er, 
 
 There was a peaceful sleep, 
 Where richly blooms the Moslem rose, 
 
 And dew-eyed myrtles weep. 
 
 And now there s grief for thee, 
 
 Fair inmate of the grave, 
 Where bright Bosphorus proudly flows, 
 
 And Asia s palm-trees wave, 
 And deep within his soul 
 
 Is anguish unexpressed, 
 Who held thee for so brief a space, 
 
 A pearl-drop on his breast. 
 
 Not in the church-yard green, 
 
 Beneath thy native sky, 
 Thou by thine infant sister s side, 
 
 Or brother dear might lie, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 349 
 
 But with their spirits pure 
 
 Thou join st a glorious train, 
 Where ne er a golden link was broke 
 
 From love s eternal chain. 
 
 Sad is thy parent s home, 
 
 And lone their evening fire, 
 Yet there doth blessed Memory bend 
 
 And holy faith aspire, 
 As angel comforters 
 
 They point desponding love 
 To what thou wert while here below, 
 
 And what thou art above. 
 
 L. H. 8. 
 
 30 
 
JFatljer iilcmorial of an onlg H)augl)ter. 
 
 ^s^,~*~<*^>~+^^^**s~>^^^-^~**^^ 
 
 A DISCOURSE 
 
 DELIVERED KV 
 
 THE FIRST CHURCH IN HARTFORD, 
 
 SABBATH EVENING, DECEMBER 9th, 1844, 
 
 ON THE DEATH OF 
 
 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP, 
 
 WIFE OF REV. HENRY J. VAN LENNEP, 
 
 Missionary to Turkey; 
 
 WHO DIED IN CONSTANTINOPLE, SEPTEMBER 27th, l&il 
 
 BY JOEL HAWES, D. D. 
 
A SERMON. 
 
 He shall enter Into peace ; they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his 
 
 uprightness. Isaiah Ivii. 2. 
 I shall be satisfied when I awake with thy likeness. Psalm xvii. 15. 
 
 BESIDES the general appropriateness of these Scriptures 
 to the occasion on which we are met, there are two special 
 reasons which have led me to the choice of them, as the 
 theme of present discourse. 
 
 The dear departed one greatly loved a little manual of 
 devotion, called " Daily Food." She was for years in the 
 habit of reading and meditating on the text selected for the 
 day, as a means of Christian improvement. It was so, 
 that the two verses just read, were the ones for the day on 
 which she died. "He shall enter into peace; they shall 
 rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness." 
 " I shall be satisfied when I awake with thy likeness." 
 Sinking under the power of disease, she was probably 
 unable to read or meditate on these Scriptures, on the 
 morning of that day, as she was wont ; but just as the 
 sun had passed its meridian, she went, I trust, to realize 
 their full, sweet meaning in the presence of her Saviour. 
 The other reason referred to is this. In the evening before 
 our final parting at Smyrna, on the 10th of last May, I 
 attended a little meeting for conference and prayer, in the 
 family of one of our missionaries. In expectation of the 
 
 30* 
 
354 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 sad farewell on the morrow, my feelings led me to select, 
 as the subject of my remarks, the last of the two verses 
 chosen for my text: "I shall be satisfied when I awake 
 with thy likeness." My dear child was one of the little 
 circle that composed my audience ; and it was the last 
 time that she ever listened to the voice of Christian instruc 
 tion and encouragement from the lips of her father. And 
 I love now to reflect, that my last words were so appro 
 priate to a final interview, and so fitted to help her on 
 through the remainder of her short pilgrimage on earth. 
 
 The Scriptures, then, set at the head of this discourse, 
 seem to me to have a peculiar claim to direct our medita 
 tions on the present occasion. In speaking from them, I 
 shall endeavor, as far as I can, to lay aside the feelings of 
 a father towards a much loved daughter, and address my 
 audience, just as I would, were I preaching a sermon on 
 the death of any youthful member of my charge. What 
 I may say of the deceased will not be in eulogy, but in 
 praise of that grace which made her what she was, and 
 in thankfulness for that kindness of my Heavenly Father, 
 which comforts my bereaved heart with the blessed hope 
 that he has taken her to himself in glory. 
 
 I have wished, also, by falling in with the train of reflec 
 tion awakened by the death of my daughter in the minds 
 of many, especially of her young acquaintances, more 
 deeply to impress upon them the lessons of this providence, 
 that so, she being dead, might still speak to them who 
 knew and loved her while yet she was with us. 
 
 In presenting a brief illustration of the sentiments con 
 tained in our text, we may notice, 
 
 I. The peaceful death of the righteous. And, 
 
 II. The state of blessedness into which they enter on 
 leaving the body. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 355 
 
 I. The gospel aside, death is a most gloomy and dis 
 tressing event. It puts an end to all our enjoyments, pur 
 poses, and hopes. It severs us from every thing we hold 
 dear on earth ; seals up our senses, stops the warm current 
 of life, and commits our bodies to the cold and silent grave, 
 there to moulder back to corruption and dust. Reason 
 sheds no light on this dark scene ; wakes up no hope in 
 the bosom of the departing, and speaks no comfort to the 
 smitten hearts of survivors. It cannot assure us that we 
 shall exist beyond the grave ; much less can it tell us in 
 what state we are to exist, or how we may hope to appear, 
 in peace, in the presence of the great Being, whom we 
 cannot but know we have offended by our sins, and who 
 holds our destiny for eternity in his hands. Hence death 
 has been most significantly called the king of terrors ; and 
 he fulfills all the dreadful meaning of his name towards 
 such as know not God, and reject the overtures of his 
 grace in Christ. 
 
 But life and immortality are brought to light in the 
 gospel. There we are assured by a fullness of evidence 
 that excludes all doubt, that he who made us, has made us 
 for an endless existence, and that, if we are found in him, 
 " who is the resurrection and the life," death hath no 
 sting for us, and the grave no terrors ; we go in peace ; 
 we rest in our beds ; every one that walketh in his upright 
 ness. This is the blessed instruction contained in our text. 
 Let us dwell upon it for a moment. 
 
 The peace and rest spoken of are restricted, you per 
 ceive, to a particular character ; to him that walketh in 
 uprightness. This, in the sense of the Bible, is a peculiar 
 character. It belongs only to true Christians ; such as 
 have been born of the Spirit ; as love God supremely, and 
 are united to Christ by an affectionate, living faith. No 
 sweetness of natural temper, no arniableness of disposition, 
 
356 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 no correctness of outward conduct, constitutes, in the sight 
 of God, an upright, or righteous character. These natural 
 traits you may possess in great perfection, and yet your 
 heart be dead to the love of God, and yourself a stranger 
 to all the exercises of true piety. Marvel not, my friends, 
 you must be born again. The youngest, the oldest, the 
 most kind, amiable and moral among you, must experience 
 this great change, or the character of uprightness, to 
 which alone peace and rest in the dying hour are promised, 
 can never be yours ; and you can never enter the kingdom 
 of heaven. The Bible throughout is strikingly discrim 
 inating on this point. It tells you of peace in your latter 
 end, of rest in your funeral couch, of awaking in the like 
 ness of God, and of being satisfied forever in his presence ; 
 and it tells you also to whom these blessings belong, even 
 to such, and only such, as walk in uprightness, love God, 
 trust in Christ as their Saviour, and serve him in an obedi 
 ent Christian life. All such are entitled to the blessings 
 indicated in our text. They are pardoned of God, are 
 accepted in Christ, are sealed heirs of heaven ; and die 
 when, or how, or where they may, no harm can come to 
 them ; death is to them a conquered foe ; their Saviour has 
 entered the grave before them, and for them, and all their 
 interests are safe for eternity. In Christ they have a sure 
 foundation of peace as they go down into the dark valley 
 and having his rod and his staff to comfort them, they need 
 fear no evil. 
 
 The phrase in our text, he shall enter into peace, is ren 
 dered by Bishop Lowth, " he shall go in peace." Thus 
 understood, it denotes the calm and peaceful manner in 
 which the righteous are wont to leave the world. They 
 are not, like the wicked, driven away in their sins ; they 
 have hope in their death ; their end is peace. Hence it is 
 said in the next clause of the text; "they rest in their 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 357 
 
 beds." The allusion is probably to the grave, which is 
 often represented in the Scriptures as a place of rest. Thus 
 in Job it is said, " There the wicked cease from troubling, 
 and there the weary are at rest." This sentiment is beau 
 tifully expressed in the following- lines from Watts : 
 
 Nor pain, nor grief, nor anxious fear 
 Invade thy bounds ; no mortal woes, 
 
 Can reach the peaceful sleeper here, 
 While angels watch the soft repose. 
 
 Not that the soul sleeps in the grave, or remains in an 
 unconscious, torpid state, as some have supposed, during 
 the period that intervenes between the death of the body 
 and the general resurrectjon. The whole current of Scrip 
 ture is against this gloomy sentiment. We are uniformly 
 taught that to be absent from the body is equivalent to 
 being present with the Lord, and that the souls of the 
 righteous do immediately on leaving their houses of clay, 
 enter into a state of conscious activity and enjoyment. 
 " It is true, a delightful truth, that the bodies of the saved, 
 which at death their souls leave, in order to be with Jesus, 
 do rest in their graves." There, as in peaceful beds, they 
 repose, till awaked by the call of him who summoned 
 Lazarus from his tomb, who shall then make them like his 
 own glorious body, fit tenements of glorified spirits. But 
 the leading idea intended to be conveyed by that part of the 
 text we are now considering is, that the righteous, when 
 they die, go in peace. The fear of death is removed. 
 They are sustained by the hope full of immortality. They 
 are at peace with themselves, at peace with their fellow 
 men, at peace with God ; and thus they are prepared to 
 leave the world in peace, and enter into everlasting rest. 
 The grave is to them a place of calm and peaceful repose. 
 No persecution comes there ; no trials await them there ; 
 
358 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 no sin, no sorrow, no evil of any kind. They sleep in 
 Jesus, and are blessed ; and in the morning of the resur 
 rection shall come forth to inherit immortal joys in heaven. 
 In this manner, Abraham. Moses, David and the prophets, 
 died. In this manner, Paul and Stephen, and multitudes of 
 the primitive saints died. In this manner great numbers 
 of our own Christian friends have died. And in this man 
 ner, thousands of believers in Christ are every hour burst 
 ing away from their earthly tabernacles, bidding adieu to 
 earth and time, in peaceful hope of eternal rest in Jesus. 
 We pass to consider, 
 
 II. The state of blessedness into which the righteous 
 enter on leaving the body. I shall be satisfied, says the 
 Psalmist, when I awake with thy likeness. This blessed 
 hope is common to all true believers, and they go to realize 
 its fullness immediately on passing into the spiritual world. 
 For though it be admitted, that, in some sense, there is an 
 intermediate state between death and the resurrection, and 
 that then a change will take place in the condition of the 
 saved, by which they will be raised still higher in glory 
 and blessedness, that does not prevent their being happy, 
 consciously active and happy, and perfect in the likeness 
 of God their Saviour, the moment they die and leave their 
 bodies. This is plainly the doctrine of the Scriptures. 
 David had no expectation of a long, unconscious sleep in 
 the grave, when he said, I shall behold thy face in righte 
 ousness ; I shall be satisfied when I awake with thy like 
 ness. Paul, when in a strait betwixt two, wishing to de 
 part, and yet willing to stay, fully believed that if he should 
 die, he would immediately be with Christ. And the peni 
 tent malefactor, according to the promise of the Saviour, 
 went, on the very day of his death, to be with him in Par 
 adise. All true believers, then, do at once, on leaving the 
 body, awake in the likeness of God, and are satisfied. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 359 
 
 They go to be with Christ where he is ; and seeing him 
 as he is, they will be like him. This transformation, this 
 change into the divine likeness will at first be perfect in 
 kind, but not in degree. All the glorious lineaments of the 
 Saviour s character will be drawn on theirs ; and thus ar 
 rayed in his likeness, the redeemed will shine forth in all 
 the beauties of holiness. Still there will be progress. As 
 ages roll away, they will continually increase in knowledge, 
 in holiness and in happiness ; and so be eternally rising 
 into a nearer, and still nearer resemblance to their divine 
 Lord and Head, and yet be eternally at an infinite remove 
 from his perfection and glory. Then they will be satisfied. 
 
 1. In the first place, they will be satisfied with them 
 selves. Here they never were. They carried about with 
 them a body of sin and death. Their temptations, their 
 conflicts, their trials were many ; and they groaned, being 
 burdened. But at death they part with imperfection, sin 
 and sorrow forever. They awake in the likeness of their 
 Saviour and are satisfied. Nothing remains in them, or 
 pertains to them to awaken regret, or interrupt enjoyment, 
 or darken hope. Of all that blessed assembly, there is no 
 eye that weeps, no breast that sighs, no tongue that com 
 plains, and no heart that does not bear the image, reflect 
 the glory, and rejoice in the presence of God the Saviour. 
 Healed of every disease, freed from every corruption, and 
 breathing the pure air of the celestial regions, every one, 
 on awaking in the divine likeness, will be clothed with 
 immortal youth and vigor, and every grace and every fac 
 ulty will be ripened into maturity, and brought into a never- 
 ending course of delightful exercise and improvement. 
 
 2. Awaking in the likeness of God, the redeemed will 
 be satisfied with the place of their residence. That will 
 be heaven ; the world of unclouded light and everlasting 
 blessedness ; where all things are as great, as here they 
 
360 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 are little; where all things are as substantial, as here they 
 are vain ; where all things are as fixed, as here they are 
 transitory. The saved of the Lord, on leaving the body, 
 enter that world as their proper home ; it is adorned with 
 infinite magnificence and beauty, a fit residence for angels 
 and glorified spirits in the presence of God and the Lamb. 
 And O, what a change ! to be taken from an earthly cot 
 tage to the palace of the great King ; from the sins and 
 sorrows of earth, to the holiness and joys of heaven ; from 
 a frail, diseased, dying body, to the everlasting strength 
 and undecaying vigor of the Paradise of God. 
 
 3. They will be satisfied with their society. It will be 
 a society of perfectly holy and benevolent beings ; com 
 posed of the general assembly and church of the first born 
 in heaven ; of the spirits of the just made perfect ; of an 
 innumerable company of angels ; of Jesus, the Mediator of 
 the new covenant ; and of God, the Judge of all. To this 
 society the redeemed are admitted immediately on leaving 
 the world; and they commence an acquaintance with pa 
 triarchs and prophets, with apostles and martyrs, and with 
 the most amiable and worthy characters that have ever 
 lived ; among them their own dear Christian friends, who 
 have entered before them into glory, and are waiting to 
 welcome them to their everlasting home. Dear friends and 
 relatives, parted here on the shores of time, meet again in 
 heaven, to review together the dealings of God with them 
 in this state of trial, to dwell together in his presence, 
 never more to be separated. 
 
 4. They will be satisfied with their employments. These 
 will be of the most pure and exalted kind, perfectly adapted 
 to their immortal natures, and fitted to promote, in the 
 highest degree, their improvement and happiness. Wor 
 ship and praise will be a part, but not all their occupation. 
 Entering heaven with all their faculties ennobled, and 
 
MRS. MARY E VAN LENNEP. 361 
 
 their hearts glowing with holy love, the redeemed will, 
 doubtless, occupy spheres of extended activity and useful 
 ness, and forever be employed in ways, which will exercise 
 every power, and call forth every benevolent affection in 
 the most perfect manner; all adapted to a state of complete 
 and everlasting blessedness. 
 
 5. They will be satisfied with their prospects. These 
 will be equal to their desires ; and will eternally be grow 
 ing brighter and brighter. Here their happiest seasons are 
 usually of short duration, and are always liable to inter 
 ruption from the anxieties, the cares, the vicissitudes and 
 vanities of this sinful world. But nothing can ever cloud 
 the prospects, or interrupt the joys of the redeemed in glory. 
 Death and sorrow, disease and pain, crying and tears will 
 have fled forever ; and they will be able to look forward to 
 interminable ages, and anticipate, not only the continuance, 
 but constant increase of knowledge, holiness and happiness, 
 as long as duration shall last. Their bodies, their minds, 
 their residence, their employments, their society and their 
 fruitions, will form a system of glory and of good, which 
 will know no interruption and no end ; which will be re 
 fining, brightening and increasing forever. "In thy presence 
 is fullness of joy ; and at thy right hand are pleasures for 
 ever more." 
 
 6. They will be satisfied with all the means which God 
 saw fit to employ to prepare them for. and to bring them to 
 heaven. These often appeared to them, while in this vale 
 of tears, deeply mysterious and painful. But all will be 
 cleared up in the light of eternity ; and it will there be 
 seen that the afflictions, disappointments and trials of this 
 life, were all appointed by infinite wisdom and goodness, 
 and were a necessary discipline to wean us from the world 
 and prepare us for heaven. If we, through grace, shall 
 finally be admitted into that world, we shall see, that not 
 
 31 
 
36 ; 2 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP 
 
 one trial, not one disappointment or affliction was laid updn 
 us here, which was not needful and designed to promote 
 our highest good. What we know not now, we shall 
 know then. We shall remember all the way in which the 
 Lord our God led us in this dark and trying world : and 
 every review of the past will only serve to increase our 
 gratitude and elevate our praises for the goodness and mercy 
 with which our covenant God followed us all the days of 
 our pilgrimage on earth. I add, 
 
 7. The redeemed, on awaking in the likeness of God, will 
 be satisfied with every part of the divine counsels and gov 
 ernment. This is a world of mysteries. We are a mys 
 tery to ourselves : and every thing around us is mysterious. 
 We cannot fathom the purposes of God, nor comprehend 
 the reasons of his conduct ; and often his goings are 
 shrouded in darkness, and seem to us planted in the great 
 deep. We see enough indeed in God to inspire confidence 
 and sustain hope ; still we see through a glass darkly, and 
 our weak faith is often greatly tried and ready to fail us. 
 It will not be so in heaven. All who enter that happy 
 world will see as they are seen, and know as they are 
 known. The mysteries of providence will then be un 
 folded. The great plan of Jehovah respecting man will 
 be completed ; his redeemed people will all be gathered 
 home to glory ; and the reasons of his conduct towards 
 our race will be explained and published to the universe ; 
 and in view of all, the ransomed of the Lord will be satis 
 fied. There will be no blemish, no defect in any part of 
 the divine administration. All will appear just as it should 
 be, infinitely wise, benevolent and glorious ; and they will 
 thus be prepared to rejoice and be eternally happy in the 
 kingdom and under the government of God. 
 
 These, my friends, are great truths. We owe them en- 
 tirelv to the blessed word of our God ; and thev should 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 363 
 
 awaken in us constant gratitude and praise to him, who 
 inspires us with such hopes in the house of our pilgrimage. 
 What are we, and what our deservings, that we should 
 thus engage the benevolent regards of God our Saviour. 
 Miserable sinners ; unworthy of the least blessing that is 
 poured into our cup. And yet we are told of entering into 
 peace ; of resting in our beds ; of awaking in the likeness 
 of God, and of being satisfied forever with the joys of his 
 presence. God will call and we shall answer him. rise in 
 his image, be made like unto our Head, be where he is, 
 blessed eternally with the visions of his glory. Let us 
 dwell upon the prospect and rejoice in the hope. It will 
 cheer us amid the dark passages of life, make the trials of 
 it light, and fit us for a brighter crown in that kingdom to 
 which we are going. 
 
 And how firm a ground for peace and hope have we here, 
 in the prospect of death ? What indeed is death to a 
 Christian? The gateway of eternal glory. That passed, 
 he enters into the joy of his Lord, and commences an end 
 less course of improvement, in all that can add dignity and 
 blessedness to an immortal being. A Christian, then, in 
 stead of shrinking with fear from the change of death, 
 should look to it with serene and cheerful hope, and when 
 it comes, die. as millions have, in peace and joy, and go to 
 the bosom of his Redeemer and God. The way is not 
 strange, not untried. All the saved, from Abel the first, 
 to the last one that has ascended to glory, have passed that 
 way ; and each, as he has mounted upward, in the bright 
 and shining course, has testified to the safety and blessed 
 ness of dying in the Lord. This should encourage others 
 who yet linger here on the shores of time, to look upon 
 death with calmness and hope : to welcome its approach 
 as a call from their Redeemer to quit these scenes of mor 
 tality, and go to inherit eternal joys in his kingdom. 
 
364 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Dym^, to the Christian, is but going home; and who 
 should be unwilling to go home, when that home is heaven, 
 and the society waiting to welcome us there are our own 
 dear friends who have died in the Lord, and the whole glo 
 rious company of the redeemed ? 
 
 Here, too. we find strong consolation in the death of 
 Christian friends. They have gone from us : but they are 
 not lost to themselves, nor to the kingdom of God. They 
 still live ; live in all the vigor and activity of their immor 
 tal faculties live in the perfect likeness of Christ, and 
 amid the glories of the heavenly world. And should not 
 this reconcile us to their removal from us by death ? 
 Should we sorrow as those that have no hope, now that 
 the great design of all that the Saviour did for them in 
 their redemption, and in calling them by his grace to be his 
 disciples, is consummated in their perfection and everlasting" 
 blessedness in heaven ? Do we rejoice and give thanks to 
 the God of Providence, when a dear friend of ours, having 
 a dangerous sea to navigate, has made the voyage in safety 
 and attained the desired haven ? How much more should 
 we rejoice and give thanks to the God of grace, when our 
 Christian friends have finished the voyage of life ; have 
 escaped all the storms and dangers of this boisterous ocean, 
 and are safe in the haven of everlasting rest ? We are 
 not indeed forbidden to mourn our loss. Tears were made 
 to be shed ; and never is there a fitter occasion for them, 
 than when dear kindred and friends are separated from us 
 by the stroke of death. But we should remember, that if 
 they die as Christians, our loss is their gain, and that while 
 we sorrow and weep that we shall see their face no more 
 in the flesh, they are rejoicing and singing praise in the 
 kingdom of glory. O. could we look within the veil and see 
 them where Christ is, made like him, dwelling in his presence 
 and beholding his glory, should we wish them to return to 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 365 
 
 us on earth, to conflict again with the temptations and 
 sins, and with the trials and sorrows of this our mortal 
 state? Should we not rather fall down on our knees 
 before God, and thank and praise him for his great grace 
 in fitting for, and taking home to glory those whom we 
 love ; and return to these earthly scenes and duties with 
 warmer desires, and more strenuous efforts, that we may be 
 prepared in God s own good time, to go and join our de 
 parted friends in heaven, and with them be ever with the 
 Lord? 
 
 I trust I feel grateful to God, my friends, that while I 
 open these fountains of consolation to you, I am permitted 
 to drink at them myself in this day of my bereavement and 
 SOITOW. God has seen fit to take from me my beloved and 
 only daughter ; and I thank him for the precious evidence 
 I have, in her life and in her death, that she has entered 
 into peace, and rests in her Saviour s bosom. 
 
 My object in the few brief notices of her, which I may 
 now present, is not to obtrude my sorrows upon your atten 
 tion, nor to eulogize the virtues of the dear deceased one ; 
 but as I have said, to honor the grace of God which made 
 her what she was, and to lead all who hear me, especially 
 her young acquaintances and friends, to prize very highly 
 that religion which she loved, and prepare to go to that 
 heaven where I trust she has gone. 
 
 It is a very pleasant remembrance to her parents, that 
 from her earliest years she was a peculiarly affectionate and 
 dutiful child. Her tender mind opened itself in docility 
 and love ; and like a fresh flower of spring, shed forth the 
 fragrance of its affections upon all around. To know the 
 desires of her father, or mother, was enough to engage a 
 prompt and cheerful obedience. She was early taught that 
 she was a sinner, and needed the renewing grace of God to 
 fit her for his service and kingdom ; and from the time she 
 
 31* 
 
366 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 was eight years of age, she was the subject of more than 
 usually deep religious impressions. She felt that her heart 
 was not right with God ; that she needed what every 
 human being, however young, and however amiable, needs, 
 a new heart to be given her by the Holy Spirit. 
 
 On entering her tenth year, there was a marked change 
 in her feelings. The scene was one never to be forgotten, 
 either by herself or her parents. It was noticed, that, for 
 some days, her mind was the subject of intense and serious 
 thought. Occasionally the unbidden tear would be seen 
 trembling in the eye, or stealing down the cheek, till one 
 evening, having spent some time in retirement, she was 
 heard singing in a low, sweet voice, when on opening the 
 door of her room, her delightful exclamation was, " O, I 
 am so happy ; I have found God : I am so happy ; I can 
 pray now." She had knelt, as at other times, with a bur 
 dened heart, and under a sense of separation from God, 
 and he had met her and had blessed her. To use her own 
 language ; " it seemed like speaking to a dear, kind friend ; 
 God seemed near to me : and I felt that he heard me." 
 From that time she gave us every pleasant evidence of 
 being a child of God. Her youthful piety did not, as it 
 often does, pass away like a morning cloud. It was a 
 plant of celestial origin. It was rooted deep in the heart, 
 and it grew and brought forth increasing fruit to God till 
 the end of her life. 
 
 From the time she hopefully became a Christian, she 
 had a strong desire to devote herself to Christ in a public 
 profession of religion. But it was thought she was too 
 young. After having patiently waited a year, at the close 
 of a communion season, when she remained at home, she 
 summoned all her powers of argument to reason on the 
 subject with those whom she had ever been accustomed to 
 reverence and obey. She asked, l - when our Saviour said, 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 367 
 
 do this in remembrance of me, did he mean to exclude 
 children ?" She was told that her father thought her too 
 young to take so important a step. " How old must I be 
 before I obey Christ ?" She was answered that twelve was 
 thought to be a proper age to make a profession of religion. 
 " O," she exclaimed, with much emotion, " I shall have to 
 wait a whole year, and I have waited a whole year now." 
 This reasoning of a child seems to me more conclusive 
 now, than it did then, and I should be much more ready to 
 act upon it in admitting young persons to the church. 
 
 Soon after she was twelve years of age. her wishes were 
 gratified in being received to the communion. It was with 
 her, a season of great tenderness ; and to commemorate the 
 love of her Saviour, at his table, was a privilege which 
 became more and more precious to her as long as she lived. 
 Her Christian course was remarkably uniform and exem 
 plary ; and it was pleasant to see how, from time to time, 
 she was growing in grace and in the knowledge of her 
 Lord and Saviour. She felt that her profession of the 
 name of Christ brought with it very tender and solemn 
 obligations, which required of her a peculiar character and 
 deportment ; and feeling that she was not her own, but 
 bought with a price, she conscientiously endeavored so to 
 live as to honor the sacred name by which she was called. 
 
 Her religion, not a name, or a form, but a living, inward 
 principle of holy love, partook largely of the cheerful and 
 the pleasant. She looked to it as a source of peace and 
 joy and hope. It shed a heavenly light on her mind, 
 sweetened her temper, sanctified her affections, enlarged 
 her views, elevated her aims, and taught her to associate 
 all her purest and best enjoyments, with the love of her 
 Father in heaven, and the delightful anticipation of higher 
 and nobler enjoyments hereafter. She possessed naturally 
 a good mind, well cultivated, well balanced, active and 
 
368 MRS. MART E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 intelligent ; susceptible, in a very high degree, of just im 
 pressions from whatever objects engaged her attention ; 
 and was characterized also, by a confiding, artless sim 
 plicity and affectionateness of character which I have 
 rarely seen surpassed. This was the secret of her influ 
 ence over the young, in whom she felt so lively an interest, 
 and of the facility with which she won upon the con 
 fidence and love of all with whom she associated. She 
 had many friends, but no enemies ; and it has been truly 
 said of her, in a letter of sympathy received from an emi 
 nent person, who saw her for a little time just before she 
 left this country, " She found a short way to the hearts of 
 every one that knew her." 
 
 She had an exquisite relish for the beauties of nature 
 and art ; and the interest she felt in these beauties was 
 inexpressibly heightened by the fact, that she looked at 
 them with the eye of a Christian ; connected them with 
 the wisdom and goodness of God, and regarded them as 
 pledges of brighter glories to be enjoyed in the heavenly 
 world. Hence, when the shores of Europe and Africa 
 first burst upon her view, she beheld them with the deep 
 est emotion, and wrote in her journal. " I have been 
 praying that I may look upon all these interesting scenes 
 with the feelings of a Christian ; and may all that I see, 
 prepare me for my work in that dear land which comes 
 nearer every hour." And when in 1841, she lay, as was 
 supposed, at the point of death, she said. " This is a 
 beautiful world, and I love it ; all its hills and pleasant 
 prospects, all of it is very beautiful to me. And then, I 
 have many precious friends ; O, how precious ! and 
 how I love them ! And when I think of leaving them, 
 and having no more to do with the scenes here on the 
 earth, never, no, never, till the resurrection morning, then 
 I am sad at the prospect of bidding adieu to them. But 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 369 
 
 when I look on the other side, and think of heaven and of 
 Jesus, and that my Saviour has something for me to do 
 there, then it seems pleasant to me, and I want to go." 
 
 I may here remark, in passing, that out of her own fam 
 ily, no human being exerted a greater or more happy influ 
 ence in the formation of her character than Mary Jnne 
 Chester, afterwards Mrs. Hovey. Herself a model of fe 
 male loveliness, intelligent, affectionate, refined and win 
 ning in her manners ; a Christian of warm hearted, cheer 
 ful piety, disinterested in her aims, and devoted in her du 
 ties in an eminent degree, this amiable and excellent young 
 Christian early took a deep interest in my dear Mary ; she 
 was for several years her Sabbath school teacher ; and I 
 feel grateful to God, that my child, in her tender age, en 
 joyed the instruction, the prayers and the example of one, 
 who was so well qualified to cherish her piety and to elicit 
 and mature her virtues. From her she received many 
 most valuable suggestions in regard to the daily reading of 
 the Scriptures, the practice of private devotion, self-disci 
 pline and the cultivation of personal religion. They were 
 tenderly united in affection here ; death separated them for 
 a season : they have met now in the kingdom of light and 
 love, and they will part no more. 
 
 The deceased had great tenderness of conscience ; a 
 quick perception and a deep feeling of right and duty. 
 While she had a most affectionate regard for the feelings 
 and wishes of others, and instinctively shrunk from giving 
 pain to any human being, she would never yield a hair in 
 sacrifice of duty, or where she thought she might incur 
 the suspicion of wrong. Her religion was a matter of 
 principle ; and it led her to study not how far she might go 
 in conforming to the world, without incurring positive guilt; 
 but how she might shun even the appearance of evil, best 
 cultivate her Christian character, and best glorify her 
 
370 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 Saviour. If in certain amusements, practiced even in 
 some professedly Christian families, she could not consci 
 entiously unite, it was not because she deemed them posi 
 tively sinful, but because she thought them of doubtful ten 
 dency, leading on to evil, and felt that they might injure 
 her Christian influence. She was right in this ; and though 
 some may have thought her too scrupulous on such points, 
 I feel sure it is no matter of regret with her now. that she 
 was so conscientious and exact in her Christian walk while 
 here below 
 
 She loved her Bible, and she loved prayer ; and it was 
 by an assiduous attention to the Scriptures and the duties 
 of daily devotion, that she cultivated that spirit of cheer 
 ful, lively and fruitful piety, which so diffused itself through 
 her whole character and life. She had set times to pray 
 for her friends and for different objects. This habit was 
 early formed, and it was continued, as appears from her 
 journal, till prevented by her last sickness. 
 
 In a note to a young friend in this city, dated the 26th 
 of August, the very last perhaps she ever wrote, she says, 
 " O, it is a sweet comfort to pray for our absent friends. 
 In the quiet hours, when the moon looks down upon these 
 silent waters, my thoughts invariably wander to the far 
 away friends, and the yearnings of my spirit to see them, 
 can only be satisfied by lifting up my prayer to Him who 
 can bless them with his own sweet presence." Her affec 
 tion for her friends was indeed deep and pure, peculiarly 
 disinterested and abiding. 
 
 Humble, unsuspecting and guileless in her disposition, 
 she never indulged herself in unkind, ill-natured remarks 
 about others. The law of kindness was on her lips, and 
 she never thought, or suspected rvil of others, where she 
 could think of good. She knew the value of time ; and 
 she practiced the strictest economy in the use of it. In- 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 37 I 
 
 slant in season and out of season, will apply to her as fully 
 as to any young 1 person I ever knew. Her needle, her book, 
 her pen, or going on some errand of kindness and mercy, 
 filled up all her hours, and thus she was enabled to live 
 much in a short time. 
 
 She early engaged in the duties of a Sabbath school 
 teacher ; and seldom, it is believed, have those duties 
 been performed in a more exempla^ and faithful manner. 
 
 She went to them, not as a task, but as a pleasure ; and 
 carefully prepared herself for the exercise by prayer, and a 
 diligent study of the lesson. Great was the interest she 
 felt in her pupils, visiting them at their homes, having 
 them visit her, lending them books and writing to them, 
 from time to time, to excite and direct their thoughts on 
 the subject of religion ; and many a young person in this 
 house, and many who are not present to hear me, can 
 recollect the tender interest she manifested in their spirit 
 ual welfare. May they never forget her instructions and 
 her prayers ; and may the impressions made on their 
 minds be ripened into true piety and a bright hope of 
 heaven. 
 
 She early felt an interest in the cause of missions ; and 
 by a train of providences which I may not detail, it was 
 made plain to her own mind, as it was to her parents, that 
 it was her duty to devote herself personally to this cause. 
 But scarcely had she entered upon the field, which, in con 
 nection with her beloved husband, she hoped to occupy in 
 a Itfe of usefulness, ere she was called to fill, I trust, a 
 higher sphere of service in the heavenly state. Though 
 her residence on missionary ground was exceedingly brief, 
 she appears from many testimonies that have come to us 
 from our distant friends, to have made an impression upon 
 all who became acquainted with her, that her heart was 
 wholly in her work, and that she was qualified, had her 
 
3 7 2 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 life been spared, to do much good.* That she was satis 
 fied and happy in the employment she had chosen, is evi 
 dent from every part of her journals. She appears never 
 to have had any misgivings or regrets on this point. In a 
 letter to a friend in this city, dated on that 26th of August, 
 when, as I suppose, all her correspondence closed,! she 
 says : " It is an unspeakable privilege to be a missionary, 
 and to labor in this land. Much as I long to see your 
 faces, and dear as my home is to me, I would not return to 
 America. 
 
 But I hasten to the closing scene. It was expected 
 when she left this country with her husband, that they 
 would be permanently stationed at Smyrna. But many 
 circumstances seemed to require their removal to Constan 
 tinople ; and I cheerfully concurred in the arrangement, as 
 likely to prove more favorable to her health, and also to 
 open a wider and more promising field of usefulness. I 
 parted with her in May. She was then in excellent health, 
 and continued thus after her removal to Constantinople, 
 till about the middle of August. She then became ill ; 
 but her disease was in so mild a form, that for several 
 weeks no apprehension was felt by her friends as to the 
 issue. With herself, however, it was otherwise. " From 
 the very first," as Rev. Mr. Goodell writes, " her own mind 
 was strongly and strangely impressed with the idea 
 of a fatal termination : and was intently occupied with the 
 thoughts of anotherand a better life." " She settled all her 
 doubts one by one, as her husband writes ; and on the Sab 
 bath before her relapse, she expressed a sweet and perfect 
 confidence in her Saviour, and entrusted all things to him." 
 
 * I love to think of the ardor of zeal and oneness of purpose with which your 
 daughter seemed to be prepared to labor for the Armenians. She had her heart 
 wholly set on the great work for which she came to these lands. Rev. Mr. Dwight. 
 Constantinople. 
 
 t Letters of a later date had not reached home when this sermon was written. 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 373 
 
 Mr. Goodell adds, " that during the weeks of her indispo 
 sition, she scrutinized her heart and life with the greatest 
 possible care and fidelity, we are fully assured. The result 
 was this that the early dedication of herself to God was 
 not the ground of her pardon and acceptance ; that her re 
 pentance and prayers, and communion seasons, and religious 
 education and religious observances, and active services, 
 were not her Saviour. And may I trust in the bare word of 
 Christ for salvation ? said she, in great simplicity of manner. 
 I replied you may. Paul trusted to it, and went to heaven. 
 John trusted to it and to nothing else. And had your life 
 been even more holy than theirs, you would still have found, 
 on examination, that your own righteousness was but 
 filthy rags, that you needed an infinite Saviour, and that 
 you had nothing to hang upon but the bare word of Christ. 
 But this bare word of his is every thing, and whoever hangs 
 upon it shall never be confounded. Blessed salvation this 
 for poor perishing sinners. And this, I have no doubt, was 
 all her salvation, and all her desire. On this rock of ages 
 she appeared to plant both her feet, fearless and secure 
 amidst the raging billows." 
 
 Her last message to her parents was a very sweet one. 
 It was two days before her decease. In reply to her hus 
 band, who was writing by her side, and asked whether she 
 had any message to send, she said : " Give my best love, 
 my very best love. Tell them I have a great many things 
 to say to them but I cannot now, tell them it will be very, 
 very sweet when all the redeemed meet together in heaven." 
 Dear child, it will be sweet, and there we will hope to 
 meet thee. 
 
 On the Sabbath before her death, which took place on 
 Friday, her disease assumed a very alarming aspect, after 
 which her mind occasionally wandered. But on the morn 
 ing of the day on which she died, her mind became clear 
 
 32 
 
374 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 and calm, and though unable to converse, so great was her 
 weakness, she yet " whispered words of strong hope and 
 joyful expectation." " Oh, how happy, how sweet it will 
 be to be there." When her husband repeated the first 
 stanza of the hymn, "Jesus, lover of my soul," there was 
 a strong bright smile, and she whispered u yes, yes." Her 
 hearing, her sight, and her strength soon failed her, and 
 she fell asleep, I doubt not in Jesus, and entered into peace. 
 Her grave is in the burying ground of the people to whose 
 spiritual welfare her life was devoted. There, on an emi 
 nence overlooking the shores of the Bosphorus, and the city 
 of the moslems, rest her mortal remains till the bright 
 morning of the resurrection dawns, and brings the final, 
 the eternal day of glory and blessedness. 
 
 Farewell ! dear child, farewell ! ! Very pleasant wert 
 thou in life, but far pleasanter wilt, thou be when we shall 
 meet above. Our separation will be short. Thou wilt 
 not return to me, but I shall go to thee. Thy work is 
 done ; thy conflicts over ; and what of loveliness was in 
 thee here below is now perfected in heaven. It is well. 
 Let no one ask, why was this waste ? The Master had 
 need of her. 
 
 " He gave her, he took her, and he will restore her." 
 
 His will is done ; and the heart that most loved her 
 would not wish it otherwise. Yes, it is well. In our 
 Father s house there are many mansions. And thou, loved 
 child, whose visage, when last we saw thee here, was ar 
 rayed in the bloom of health and the smiles of joy, hast 
 put off thine earthly clothing and left these scenes of mor 
 tality forever. Thou hast had thy mansion already on two 
 widely remote continents of this world, and now in the 
 new mansion thy Saviour has prepared for thee in heaven, 
 we, in our bereaved affections and fond hopes, place thee, a 
 
MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 375 
 
 happy, purified spirit, uniting in the exalted communion and 
 praises of that upper world. Farewell ! farewell ! for a 
 little time ; then may we who now mourn thee, and all thy 
 loved companions and friends, rise to join thee in the man 
 sions of eternal purity and bliss, whither thou hast gone. 
 
 " I was on? of the many who listened with deep and 
 sympathetic interest to the late discourse of the Rev. Dr. 
 Hawes, upon the death of his daughter. As he presented 
 the picture of her pure and lovely character, the words of 
 Christ were continually present to my heart, of such is 
 the kingdom of heaven ; and for many days after, that ser 
 mon lingered in my thoughts, and would not leave me, until 
 the following lines had fashioned themselves out of my 
 meditations." Religious Herald, Dec. 18M, 1844. 
 
 A VOICE FROM HEAVEN. 
 
 1 shine in the light of God, 
 
 His " likeness" stamps my brow, 
 Through the shadows of death my feet have trod, 
 
 And I reign in glory now ; 
 No breaking heart is here, 
 
 No keen and thrilling pain, 
 No wasted cheek, where the frequent tear 
 
 Hath rolled and left its stain. 
 
 I have found the joy of heaven, 
 
 I am one of the angel-band, 
 To my head a crown is given, 
 
 And a harp is in my hand : 
 I have learned the song they sing, 
 
 Whom Jesus hath made free, 
 And the glorious walls of heaven still ring 
 
 With my new-born melody. 
 
376 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 No sin no grief no pain, 
 
 Safe in my happy home ; 
 My fears all fled, my doubts all slain, 
 
 My hour of triumph come ; 
 Oh ! friends of my mortal years, 
 
 The trusted and the true, 
 Ye re walking still in the valley of tears, 
 
 But I wait to welcome you. 
 
 Do I forget 1 Oh ! no ; 
 
 For Memory s golden chain 
 Shall bind my heart to the hearts below, 
 
 Till they meet and touch again : 
 Each link is strong and bright, 
 
 And love s electric flame 
 Flows freely down, like a river of light, 
 
 To the world from whence I came. 
 
 Do you mourn when another star 
 
 Shines out from the glittering sky 1 
 Do you weep when the noise of war, 
 
 And the rage of conflict die 1 
 Then why should your tears roll down, 
 
 And your hearts be sorely riven, 
 For another gem in the Saviour s crown 
 
 And another soul in heaven I 
 
 L. M. N. 
 
NOTICES 
 
 OF THE 
 
 MEMOIR OF MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 THE PUBLISHERS invite the attention of the public to 
 the following notices from distinguished individuals, 
 showing how they appreciate " The Memoirs of Mrs. 
 Van Lennep " the deep interest which they take in the 
 work, and the estimate which they have formed of its 
 powerful influence for good upon those who may read it. 
 Other testimonials might have been added, but it 
 is enough to say, that in addition to the numerous com 
 mendatory notices of the book which have appeared in 
 many of our very respectable public prints and periodicals, 
 the voice of the intelligent and religious community has 
 pronounced it to be one of the best written, most attrac 
 tive, and useful biographies of modern times ; breathing 
 forth a simple, pure and elevated spirit of piety ; en 
 gaging the admiration and love of Christians of all de 
 nominations, and singularly adapted to cherish the same 
 spirit in their own breasts. 
 
 From the REV. STEPHEN OLIN, D. D., LL. D., President of the 
 Weslcyan University, Middlctown. 
 
 " Messrs. BELKNAP & HAMERSLEY : 
 
 ****** This work portrays a charac 
 
 ter of uncommon excellence and loveliness, in a simple, unexag- 
 gerated style, which recommends it to the confidence and good 
 taste of the reader. I greatly overrate the merit of this interest 
 ing volume, if it is not destined to operate for good in an extensive 
 sphere. Such examples of early, active, self-sacrificing piety, in 
 graceful combination with the rarest filial, fraternal, and social vir 
 tues, should he read and studied in all our Christian families. In 
 the Memoir of Mrs. Van Lennep, we have a Christian character 
 of great strength and intensity, blending the best qualities of an 
 ingenuous, cultivated woman, with those of a devoted disciple of 
 Christ an enthusiastic lover of nature, of books, of music anil 
 
 32* 
 
378 
 
 society an ardent, almost romantic friend the most affectionate 
 of sisters and of daughters. Mrs. V. L., through the strength of 
 her Christian principles, and the ardor of her benevolence, be 
 came a foreign missionary-; and that, in the face of bright worldly 
 prospects, and at an age when most Christian women claim an 
 exemption from all the higher duties of their profession. It is 
 well said by the compiler, that the character here exhibited is the 
 more instructive, because not too high for imitation. It may 
 with justice be added, that few are more worthy of being imitated." 
 
 Extract of a Letter to the REV. H. J. VAN LENNEP, from the 
 REV. T. H. GALLAUDET. 
 
 " My heart is so full of the pleasure, and I trust profit, which I 
 have lately received from reading the beautiful Memoir of your dear 
 departed Mary, that I cannot refrain from telling you of it. The 
 book charmed me more than any other work of the kind which I 
 have read for a long, long time. 
 
 It surprised me to find in so young a person, whom I thought I 
 knew more of than I now find I did, such symmetry of Christian 
 character, such meekness of wisdom, such elevation of piety, so 
 exquisite a relish for the beautiful and sublime both in nature and 
 in grace, so much practical good sense, such an overflowing of 
 kindly and benevolent feelings, such unostentatious self sacrifice, 
 and then such graphical accuracy and finished taste in description, 
 with a chasteness, simplicity arid maturity of style, which we very 
 seldom meet with only in older and experienced writers. 
 
 The work I think is destined to do a vast amount of good, both 
 among professors of religion, and those who yet seek the friend 
 ship of the world. 
 
 May the spirit of truth and grace ever accompany its perusal, 
 and make it the means of adding many new jewels to the Re 
 deemer s crown." 
 
 From the RKV. E. N. KIRK, Boston. 
 
 * * * * * " I am thankful that Mrs. Havves has drawn up 
 a Memoir, and such a Memoir of her daughter. A mother s pride 
 might have been more gratified by a fuller exhibition of her intel 
 lectual qualities. But she has chosen well, to show her, as she 
 remarks, in her imitable excellencies. A large circle of young 
 ladies in our congregation are now reading this Memoir with great 
 interest, and as it seems to me, with great benefit. Some appear 
 to be led by it to take higher views of the objects for which life is 
 given, and to see how lovely and how attainable is Christian be 
 nevolence." 
 
 From the REV. A. W. McCLURE, Editor of the Christian Ob 
 servatory. 
 
 * * * * This is one of the few biographies which make 
 the reader feel as if he had a sort of personal knowledge of the 
 
379 
 
 one to whom it relates. It is good to be brought into converse 
 with spirits on whose excellencies death has set his inviolable seal, 
 and made them sacred. This is a good book for all such as are 
 capable of receiving benefit from coming into contact with a mind, in 
 which fine tastes and warm affections were raised to the highest 
 purity and fervor by the hallowed power of grace." 
 
 From the REV. W. B. SPRAOUE, D. D., Albany. 
 " I have read the Memoir of Mrs. V. L., with unmingled plea 
 sure. The character is a remafkable compound of natural loveli 
 ness, of intellectual refinement, and of earnest piety. It is cer 
 tainly sketched with no common skill ; and while a mother s love 
 breathes in every page of the book, there is nothing of that weak 
 partiality exhibited, that leads to exaggeration, and awakens dis 
 trust. The work is valuable as a record of the workings of a 
 young, accomplished mind, in its preparation for usefulness and for 
 heaven. It is valuable, as presenting to young females an exam 
 ple of excellence that is felt to be attainable of a character at 
 once free from affectation and eccentricity, and adorned with the 
 more humble and the more active virtues. It is valuable espe 
 cially as an honorable and fitting tribute to the cause of missions, 
 for which the beloved and lamented counted not her life dear to 
 her. It is a book that cannot be destined to any ephemeral exis 
 tence. Posterity will place it on the same shelf with Harriet 
 Newell/ 
 
 From the REV. H. HUMPHREY, D. D., late President of Amherst 
 
 College. 
 
 " Memoir of Mrs. Mary E. Van Lennep, by her mother. One 
 of the sweetest memorials of youthful piety, and early self conse 
 cration to Christ, and the spread of his gospel, that I ever read. 
 I am sure that all who love pure and undefiled religion in its most 
 attractive form, in the artless, and gushing outpourings of a soul, 
 alive to all the beauties of nature, and ravished with the brighter 
 glories beaming down from the throne of God and the Lamb, 
 will feel themselves indebted in no common degree to Mrs. Hawes 
 for the selections which she has given them in this volume from 
 the private journal and correspondence of an only daughter. 
 There is a charm about it which is sure to captivate every young 
 reader who takes up the book, and increasingly to absorb the 
 attention till it is finished. The bereaved mother has with excel 
 lent judgment arranged and put the rich materials which her mis 
 sionary daughter left at her early death, and the Memoir is worthy 
 of a place upon every centre-table in our land-" 
 
 From MRS. L. H. SIGOURNEY, Hartford- 
 
 " Tn this interesting biography, a monument is reared to the 
 
 memory of a sainted being, whom to know was to love. To those, 
 
 in her native place, who were permitted to trace her progress from 
 
 early infancy, it is gratifying to perceive, that the pen of a mother 
 
380 
 
 has been so guided in this delicate delineation, as to swerve neither 
 through tenderness or reserve; and to feel that though all which 
 has been written, is true, yet more might have been added with 
 equal truth, to illustrate her native intellect, refined taste, and ear 
 nest piety. 
 
 Through this volume she will continue to send forth a voice of 
 melody, to the distant and the unborn. May the good it shall ac 
 complish, aid in consoling the mourners over her early grave, who 
 in their grief might perchance have asked, " why was this waste 
 of the precious ointment," had they not seen whose Hand brake 
 the beautiful casket, and believed that with Him, the undying 
 essence was safe forever. 
 
 From GEO. W. BETHUNE, D. D., Philadelphia. 
 " This work gives a most admirable picture of intelligent piety 
 and high Christian courage, united to a natural grace and unaf 
 fected simplicity. It is not difficult to see in the portions of the 
 book supplied by Mrs. Hawes, whence (under God) this delightful 
 
 Siung Christian derived some of her most attractive charms, 
 appy mother of a glorified child ! Thrice happy as the mother 
 of her being, then of her character, and now of her memory." 
 
 From the New York Evangelist. 
 
 " Memoir of Mrs. Mary E. Van Lennep. One, as T think, of the 
 most interesting Christian biographies that have ever issued from 
 our American press. 
 
 It is, in fact, a bijou a gem of the purest qualities. The sub 
 ject was a lovely young lady a daughter (the only one that was 
 spared to him) of the Rev. Dr. Hawes, of Hartford. In that very 
 pleasant city she grew up amid its choicest society, receiving all 
 the culture that the best female schools of the place could afford, 
 in addition to the culture of a home of more than common advan 
 tages. 
 
 The work is admirably arranged. After a brief narrative of a 
 few pages, giving a very interesting account of the early life and 
 conversion of the subject, the reader is made to learn her life, 
 character, and Christian activity, (up to her death in a far distant 
 land) almost wholly from the letters, journals, memoranda, etc., 
 which she wrote. 
 
 I have said that this book is & gem. It is really such. What 
 elevated and heavenly piety ; what an amiable and lovely spirit, 
 breathes through all its pages ! What admirable taste and refined 
 sentiment pervades all that she writes ! This is a book which 
 ought to be put in the hands of all our dear youth. How it shows 
 to young ladies the true way to find happiness ; and proves to a 
 perfect demonstration that the most devoted piety is consistent 
 with the most elevated refinement. It is emphatically a book 
 which ought to bo placed in all our female seminaries, and yor.ng 
 
381 
 
 ladies boarding schools ; for its cheerful and intellectual views of 
 religion are admirably adapted to win the hearts of the inmates of 
 such institutions, for God and his service. 
 
 It is just a year since I walked out one very pleasant morn 
 ing, with the Rev. Mr. Homes, at Pera, near Constantinople, to 
 the Protestant burial ground, which the Turkish government has 
 allowed to be opened, near that of tbe Armenians. It lies just 
 over the summit of the hill, or ridge of hills rather, up the sloping 
 sides of which, the city of Pera is built. From that spot there 
 is a fine view over the deep ravines and green fields to the north, 
 whilst the village-bordered and beautiful Bosphorus lies, at no 
 great distance to the east. There the remains of this lovely 
 Christian rest, in hope of the resurrection of the just. B." 
 
 From the New England Puritan. 
 
 MRS. MARY E. VAN LENNEP. 
 
 On reading her Memoir by her Mother. 
 
 BY WILLIAM B. TAPPAN. 
 
 1 knew her not ; a fountain here 
 
 Reflects her beauty to my sight ; 
 Its fair proportions mirrored clear, 
 
 And beaming with effulgent light. 
 
 I see a soul mature and true ; 
 
 Of taste refined and noble parts, 
 And earnest love that simply knew 
 
 A short sweet way to kindred hearts. 
 
 The lineaments are all divine ; 
 
 Tbe glorious form and starry eyes, 
 Are such as meet and softly shine 
 
 In holy ones that walk the skies. 
 
 She loved mankind of every creed : 
 
 " Her neighbour " dwelt in every zone ; 
 
 And life she loved might she indeed 
 Bless him with mercies like her own ! 
 
 " They serve who wait," and thus did she, 
 
 Whose work, where flames the Eastern sun, 
 Was planned, commenced, and wrought, while we 
 Beheld it only as begun. 
 
382 
 
 From dawn to twilight s fading ray 
 
 Some linger on the Master s ground, 
 Three score and ten their weary day, 
 And such, at last, are " faithful " found. 
 
 Oh ! not by hours, or full or few, 
 
 Our gracious Lord the toil computes, 
 
 Some, ere exhales the morning dew, 
 At morn retire with sheaves and fruits. 
 
 And she whose worth is here impearled 
 Where skill, maternal, sets the gem 
 
 By labour, brief, has blest the world, 
 And early won her diadem. 
 
382 
 
 From the New York Presbyterian. 
 
 THIS is one of the finest, most interesting and valuable works 
 of a most important and excellent class. We have never seen a 
 volume more exactly corresponding with our ideas of what a 
 work of American, Christian female biography should be. 
 
 We have never risen from the perusal of any of its pages, 
 without a new admiration of the purity and exaltation of that 
 piety which breathes in every part, and sincere congratulation at 
 the reflection, that the union of Christian principles and enjoy 
 ments with the various circumstances, duties and occupations of 
 common American life, is so plainly, justly, affectingly, and there 
 fore, usefully exhibited. Refinement of mind, cultivation of intel 
 lect and manners, and habitual devotion to the good of others, are 
 here shown in a thousand interesting but ordinary scenes of daily 
 life, to be the natural and blessed effects of Christian character ; 
 and thousands of readers, we trust, especially among the young 
 females of the present day, will have the sense, as well as the 
 principle, to make this invaulable volume occupy the place on 
 their tables and in their hearts, too often and most foolishly, 
 lamentably and criminally occupied by the tale of fiction and 
 romance. We recommend this work most earnestly and unhesi 
 tatingly to every parent. 
 
RETURN CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT 
 
 TO ^ 202 Main Library 
 
 LOAN PERIOD 1 
 HOME USE 
 
 2 
 
 3 
 
 4 
 
 5 
 
 6 
 
 ALL BOOKS MAY BE RECALLED AFTER 7 DAYS 
 
 S- iionth !oar> .:/ jd by calling 642-3405 
 
 1 year loans may oe recharged Dy bringing the boons to ths Circulation Desk 
 
 Renewals and recharges may be made 4 days prior to due date 
 
 DUE AS STAMPED BELOW 
 
 tsfr 
 
 Jll I? 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELE> 
 FORM NO. DD6, 60m, 1/83 BERKELEY, CA 94720 
 
 .PS 
 
Tb 
 
 GENERAL LIBRARY - U.C. BERKELEY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY